Meri Jivan Gatha

Author(s): Ganeshprasad Varni
Publisher: Ganeshprasad Varni Digambar Jain Sansthan
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/004000/1

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merI jIvana gAthA prathama bhAga kSullaka gaNezaprasAda varNI zrI gaNeza varNI digambara jaina saMsthAna, vArANasI For Personal & Private Use Only

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zrI gaNeza prasAda varNI digambara jaina granthamAlA, puSpa 2-3 merI jIvana gAthA prathama bhAga (tRtIya saMskaraNa) lekhaka pUjya zrI 105 kSullaka gaNezaprasAda varNI vI.ni.saM. 2532 sampAdaka paM. pannAlAla jaina sAhityAcArya prakAzaka zrI gaNeza varNI digambara jaina saMsthAna vArANasI For Personal & Private Use Only I. 2006

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granthamAlA sampAdaka DaoN. rAjArAma jaina pUrva yUnivarsiTI prophesara (prAkRta) evaM adhyakSa, saMskRta-prAkRta vibhAga ha.dA.jaina kAleja, ArA (bihAra) pro. udayacandra jaina pUrva adhyakSa, darzana vibhAga saMskRtavidyA dharmavijJAna saMkAya kAzI hindU vizvavidyAlaya, vArANasI prakAzaka : zrI gaNeza varNI digambara jaina saMsthAna nariyA, vArANasI-221 005 (uttara pradeza) (c) sarvAdhikAra surakSita . tRtIya saMskaraNa : 2006 1100 pratiyA~ bhAI.esa.bI.ena. 81-86657-01-4 AI.esa.bI.ena. 81-86657-00-6 (donoM bhAga) mUlya : ru.150/= mudraka : ajaya priMTarsa evaM pablizarsa rUDakI - deharAdana For Personal & Private Use Only

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Shri Ganesh Varni Digambar Jain Granthamala no. : 2-3 MERI JIVAN GATHA (My Life Story-Part One) Third Edition By Shri 105 Kshullak Ganeshprasad Varni Editor Pandit Pannalal Jain Sahityacharya Published by Shri Ganesh Varni Digambar Jain Sansthan Varanasi V.N.S. 2532 2006 A.D. For Personal & Private Use Only

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C General Editors Dr. Rajaram jain Ex-University Prof. of Prakrit and Head of the Department of Sanskrit & Prakrit Magadh University P.G. Centre H.D. Jain College, Arrah (Bihar) Prof. Uday Chandra Jain Ex-Head of the Dept. of Philosophy Faculty of Sanskrit Learning & Theology Banaras Hindu University, Varanasi Published by Shri Ganesh Varni Digambar Jain Sansthan Naria, Varanasi-221005 (c) All rights reserved Third Edition : 2006 1100 Copies ISBN 81-86957-01-4 ISBN 81-86957-00-6 (Two volume set) Price : Rs.150/= Printed by Ajay Printers & Publishers Roorkee - Dehradun For Personal & Private Use Only

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prakAzakIya pUjyavara 105 kSullaka zrI gaNezaprasAda jI dvArA likhita prastuta grantha merI jIvanagAthA (prathama evaM dvitIya bhAga alaga-alaga mudrita), saMsthAna dvArA prakAzita granthoM meM prAcInatama tathA advitIya haiN| hindI meM likhita Atma-kathAoM meM yaha pahalI paMkti meM AtI hai| paM. banArasIdAsa kRta "ardhakathAnaka' ke pazcAt saMbhavataH yaha dUsarI yA tIsarI hindI kI AtmakathA hai| mujhe yaha AtmakathAyeM bacapana se hI par3hane kA saubhAgya prApta hotA rahA hai| abhI isakA aMtima prUpha paDhate huye, ise punaH par3hane kA Ananda prApta huaa| aisA lagA ki pahalI bAra hI par3ha rahA huuN| prastuta saskaraNa meM aneka azuddhiyA~ ThIka kI gaIM haiM tathA purAne citra bhI punaH sammilita kiye gaye haiN| / yadyapi yaha graMtha jaina samAja meM adhika pracalita rahe haiM, parantu yaha sabhI ke dvArA paThanIya evaM mananIya haiN| AzA hai ki sabhI isakA rasAsvAdana kreNge| saMsthAna granthamAlA sampAdakadvaya pro.(DA.) rAjArAma jaina (noeDA) evaM paM. udayacandra jaina (vArANasI), jo deza ke labdha pratiSTha vidvAn haiM, kA nirantara mArgadarzana hameM prApta hotA rahatA hai| saMsthAna ke upAdhyakSa DA. phUlacandra premI, kAryakArI nidezaka DA. kamaleza kumAra jaina, evaM saMyukta maMtrI zrI khuzAla canda siMghaI sadA saMsthAna ke kAryoM meM sahayoga dete rahate haiN| maiM ina sabhI kA AbhArI huuN| AraMbhika prUpha rIDiMga ke liye DA. kapila deva giri ko bhI dhanyavAda detA huuN| prathama bhAga kA kuzala kampyUTarIkaraNa karane ke liye mere sahAyaka zrI paMkaja gaur3a vizeSa sAdhuvAda ke pAtra haiN| zrI ajaya mehatA hamAre prakAzana kAryoM meM adbhuta sahayoga dete rahate haiM, ataH unako bhI hama dhanyavAda dete haiN| dazalakSaNa parva, 2006 rUr3akI DA. azoka kumAra jaina prophesara (bhautikI), AI.AI.TI. rUr3akI maMtrI, zrI gaNeza varNI digambara jaina saMsthAna For Personal & Private Use Only

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prastAvanA hindI bhASAmeM AtmakathAoM kA abhAva hai| abhI do varSa pUrva dezaratna DA. rAjendraprasAda kI Atma-kathA prakAzita huI thii| isI prakArakI ekAdha aura pustakeM haiN|' varNIjIne apanA Atma-carita likhakara jahA~ jaina-samAjakA upakAra kiyA hai, vahA~ hindI ke bhaMDArako bhI bharA hai| etadartha ve badhAI ke pAtra haiN| zrImAna varNIjIse merA paricaya kisa prakAra huA, isakA ullekha unhoMne svayaM isa granthameM kiyA hai| isameM koI sandeha nahIM ki merA hRdaya unake prati atyanta zraddhAlu hai| rAjanItika kSetrameM kArya karate rahaneke kAraNa merA sabhI prakArake vyaktiyoMse sambandha AtA hai| sAdhusvabhAva vyaktiyoM kI ora maiM sadA hI AkarSita ho jAtA huuN| prAtaHsmaraNIya mahAtmA gA~dhIke lie mere hRdayameM jo asIma zraddhA hai usakA kAraNa unakA rAjanItika mahattva to kama aura unake caritrakI uccatA hI adhika rahI hai| unake sAmane jAte hI mujhe aisA anubhava hotA thA ki maiM jisa vyaktise mila rahA hU~ usane apane sabhI manovikAroMpara vijaya prApta kara lI hai| varNIjIke samparkameM maiM adhika nahIM AyA, parantu milate hI merA hRdaya zraddhAse bhara gyaa| unhoMne jabalapurake jaina samAjake lie bahuta kucha kiyA hai, jisase bhI maiM bhalIbhA~ti paricita huuN| isalie kucha jaina-mitroMne jaba mujhase isa graMthakI prastAvanA likhanekA Agraha kiyA taba samaya kA abhAva rahate hue bhI maiM 'nahIM' na kaha skaa| bacapanameM jaba maiM rAyapurameM par3hatA thA, mere par3osameM eka jaina gRhastha rahate the| unake pAsase maiM jainadharma sambandhI pustakoMko lekara par3hA karatA thA / aneka bAra maiM jaina mandiroMmeM bhI gyaa| tIrthaMkaroMkI saumya mUrtiyoMne mere hRdayako atyadhika prabhAvita kiyaa| kucha riztedAroMko yaha burA bhI lagA, parantu jaba unhoMne dekhA ki maiM IsAI matakI bhI pustakeM par3hA karatA hU~, taba unhoMne merA pIchA chor3a diyaa| 1 paM. banArasIdAsakA 'ardhakathAnaka aadi| For Personal & Private Use Only

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Ayu bar3hanepara bhI merA jaina sAhityake prati AkarSaNa kama nahIM huA, kucha varSoM pUrva prayAgakI "vizvavANI' patrikAne jainadharmapara eka vizeSAMka nikAlA thaa| sampAdakane mujhe jainadharmakA vizeSa jJAna rakhanevAlA samajha kara eka lekha bhI mA~gA thaa| mahAvIra jayantIke avasarapara prAyaH prativarSa mujhe kisI-na-kisI sabhAmeM nimaMtrita kiyA jAtA hai| abhI hAla hI meM sAgara vizvavidyAlayake hindI-vibhAgake adhyakSa zrI nandadulAre jI vAjapeyIne mere grantha 'kRSNAyana' kI AlocanA karate hue reDiyopara kahA thA-"jIvanakI mukta dazAkA varNana hindU dArzanika jisa rUpameM karate haiM, jaina dArzanika usase bhinna rUpameM karate haiN| jainoM ke nirUpaNameM mukta jIva hI Izvara saMjJA dhAraNa karatA hai| vahI pRthvI para avatAra lekara prakaTa hotA hai| hindU darzanoMmeM jIvako IzvarakI saMjJA nahIM dI gaI hai| kRSNAyanake kavine mukta jIvanakI kalpanA jaina AdhAra para grahaNa kI hai, kyoMki vaha use adhika vyAvahArika pratIta hotI hai|" vAjapeyIjIkA yaha kathana ThIka ho, yA na ho, logoMkI yaha dhAraNA avazya hai ki jainadarzanakA mujhapara bar3A prabhAva hai| mujhe aisI dhAraNAoMkA khaNDana karanekI AvazyakatA bhI pratIta nahIM hotii| Akhira jainadarzana bhI merI usI prakAra paitRka saMpatti hai jisa prakAra anya bhAratIya darzana / maiM usakI upekSA kyoM kruuN|| parantu Aja ina bArIka vivAdoM ke lie avasara hI kahA~ rahA ? maiM jaina-darzanase prabhAvita hoU~, parantu jaina samAjake hI zikSita navayuvaka apanI bahumUlya sampattiko chor3a mArksa-vAdako apanAte jA rahe haiN| koI jaina vidvAna ginatI karake to dekhe ki bhAratake mArksavAdiyoMmeM jaina navayuvakoMkI saMkhyA kitanI hai| mArksa ke bhautikavAdake caraNoMpara samasta bhAratIya darzana car3hAye jA rahe haiN| yaha khatarA hama sabake sAmane hai| AvazyakatA isa bAtakI hai ki jaina aura ajaina sabhI darzanoM ke vettA mArksavAdakA adhyayana kara usakI nissAratA prakaTa kreN| jaina gurukuloMmeM mArksavAdakA adhyayana aura khaNDana honA caahie| bhAratavarSameM dArzanika vicAroMkI dhArA sUkha gayI hai| usameM pravAha lAneke lie hameM yoropIya darzana vizeSakara mArksavAdakA pragAr3ha adhyayana karanA hogA, tabhI hamAre 1. jaina darzanake anusAra mukta jIva lauTakara nahIM aataa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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dArzanika vicAroM meM phirase maulikatAkA janma hogaa| mArksavAda bilkula uthalA tathA thothA hai| apanI maNiyoMko tiraSkRta kara hama kA~cako grahaNa karane jA rahe haiN| parantu hamAre navayuvaka to pArakhI nahIM haiN| jaba taka hama donoMkA tulanAtmaka adhyayana kara unakI bhUla na pramANita kara deMge taba taka ve kA~cako hI maNi samajhakara grahaNa karate jaaveNge| isameM hamAre navayuvakoMkI apekSA hamArA hI aparAdha adhika hai| ___ varNIjIne gurukuloMkI sthApanA karanemeM mahAn yoga diyA hai| maiM ina gurukuloMkA bar3A pakSapAtI hU~, para hameM inameM AdhunikatA lAnekA bhI prayatna karanA hogaa| kaThinAI yaha hai ki jo hamAre prAcIna granthoM ke vidvAn haiM ve naI vicAradhArAse aparicita haiM aura jo naI vicAradhArAmeM DUbe hue haiM ve prAcIna sAhityake jJAnase kore haiN| jaba taka donoMkA samanvaya na hogA taba taka hamArA prAcIna jJAna AjakI santatikA upakAra na kara skegaa| nayI dhArAvAle hamAre navayuvakoM kI A~kheM pAzcAtya vijJAnake AviSkAroMse cauMdhiyA~ gaIM haiN| kaThinAI to yaha hai ki vijJAnakI navInatama pragatise bhI ve aparicita haiN| bhAratako rAjanaitika svarAjya avazya prApta ho gayA hai, parantu hamArI mAnasika gulAmI aba bhI kAyama hai| yoropameM jisa prakArake pharnicarakA pracalana sau sAla pahale thA aura jise aba vahA~ koI nahIM pUchatA usakI kadra bhAratameM naye phaizanake rUpameM hotI hai| isI prakAra jo vijJAna aba yoropameM purAnA ho gayA hai use Aja bhI hamAre vizvavidyAlayameM vidyArthiyoMko vedavAkya mAnakara par3hAyA jAtA hai| do zatAbdI pUrva jaba yoropameM vijJAnakI pragati huI to use dharmakA zatru mAna liyA gyaa| bhAratIya vidyArthI Aja bhI vahI mAne baiThe haiN| parantu pichale paccIsa varSoM meM hI yoropameM vijJAnakI aura bhI pragati huI hai| vizeSakara manovijJAnake kSetrameM to itanI unnati huI hai ki bhautikavAdakI jar3eM hI hila gayI haiN| aba vijJAnake anusAra bhI 'padArtha' (matter) padArtha na rahakara 'mana' kI racanA mAtra raha gayA hai| 'sApekSavAda' (Theory of Relativity) kA prabhAva bhI vaijJAnikoM ke cintanapara par3ane lagA hai| vijJAna svayaM hI aba 'padArtha' meM sRSTikA mUla na pAkara 'neti, neti' kahane lagA hai| padArthavijJAna aba gauNa aura manovijJAnameM bhAratIyoMne jo khoja prAcInakAlameM kI thI For Personal & Private Use Only

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una taka pahu~caneke lie yoropako zAyada eka zatAbdI lgegii| yadi hama yoropakI mAnasika gulAmIse apanA pIchA chur3A sake to dasa varSoM ke andara hI bhAratIya manovijJAnakA adhyayana kara isa kSetrameM saMsArakI eka bar3I dena de sakate haiN| parantu jo kucha ho rahA hai usase to yaha jAna par3atA hai ki abhI pacAsa varSataka hamAre vizvavidyAlayoM meM vahI purAnA vijJAna par3hAyA jaavegaa| I. san 2000 ke lagabhaga hamAre bacce vaha jJAna prApta kara sakeMge jo Aja yoropako mila cukA hai| tabataka yoropa aura bhI naye AviSkAra karegA, jo hameM 2050 I. meM par3hAye jaaveNge| isa prakAra hama sadA yoropake ziSya hI bane rheNge| agara 2050 I. meM naye manovaijJAnika siddhAntoMko sunakara koI saMskRta bhASAkA paMDita bhAratIya vidvAn yaha kahegA ki ye siddhAnta to hamAre kaI hajAra varSa pahalese likhe haiM to nayI santati usakA majAka kregii| Aja hamAre rAjanItika netA hameM yaha batA rahe haiM ki zIghra hI bhAratavarSa duniyA~kA nahIM, to eziyA kA netA honevAlA hai| maiM abhI taka nahIM samajha pAyA ki vaha netRtva hameM apane kisa guNake balapara prApta hogaa| hama amarIkAse bar3hakara aNu-bama na banA paaveNge| hama yoropase bar3hakara phaujI anuzAsana apane sipAhiyoMko na sikhA skeNge| saca bAta to yaha hai ki manuSyako mRtyuke mukhameM le jAnevAle sAdhanoMke AviSkArameM hama bhAratIya kabhI paTu nahIM rhe| hamAre bApa-dAdoMne to hameM jIvanakI kalA hI sikhAyI hai| hama eziyA hI nahIM samasta vizvakA netRtva kara sakate haiM yadi hama apanI paramparAke prati sacce rhe| Aja sArA saMsAra dveSajanita yuddhAgnimeM jala rahA hai| prema aura ahiMsAke dvArA hama isa agniko bujhAkara saMsArako zAnti pradAna kara sakate haiN| yahI hamArI vizeSatA aura hamArA jAtIyadharma hai| jainiyoMne ahiMsAko vizeSa rUpase apanA rakkhA hai| yadi ve use kevala upadeza taka hI sImita na rakha vartamAna yugakI samasyoMke hala karane meM usakI upayogitA pramANita karanekA bhI prayAsa kareM to saMsArake lie prakAza-staMbha siddha hoNgeN| jaina navayuvakoMkA yaha kartavya hai ki ve mArksavAda par3hane ke bAda jainadarzanakA bhI adhyayana kreN| yadi ve satyake anveSaka haiM to vaha unheM gharameM hI prApta ho jaavegaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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varNIjI vayovRddha haiN| maiM Izvarase prArthanA karatA hU~ ki unheM apane pitAmahakI Ayu prApta ho, jisase ki ve jaina samAja hI nahIM samasta bhAratIya samAjakA uttarottara kalyANa kara skeN| unakI 'AtmakathA' logoMko vidyAnurAgI, tyAgI, dRr3hapratijJa tathA dharmaniSTha banAveM, yahI merI icchA hai| seminarI hila nAgapura dvArakAprasAda mizra 2/4/1646 For Personal & Private Use Only

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apanI bAta pUjya kSullaka gaNezaprasAdajI varNI, bAbA bhAgIrathajI aura paM. dIpacandrajI varNI ye tInoM mahAnubhAva jaina samAjameM varNitrayake nAmase prasiddha haiN| inakA pArasparika sambandha bhI bahuta acchA rahA hai| pUjya varNIjIke sambandhase sAgarameM bAbA bhAgIrathajI aura paM. dIpacandrajI varNI sAgarakI sattarkasudhAtaraMgiNI pAThazAlAmeM (jo aba gaNeza di. jaina vidyAlayake nAmase prasiddha hai) suparinTenDenTa raha cuke the| taba unheM vahA~kA chAtravarga 'bAbUjI' kahA karatA thA / pIche varNI bana jAnepara bhI sAgarameM unakA yahI 'bAbUjI' sambodhana pracalita rahA AyA aura unhoMne chAtravarga dvArA isa sambodhanakA prayoga honemeM kabhI Apatti bhI nahIM kI / eka bAra aneka tyAgI vargake sAtha ukta varNitrayakA sAgarameM cAturmAsa huaa| usa samaya maiM pravezikA dvitIya khaNDameM par3hatA thA aura merI Ayu lagabhaga 13 varSakI thI / lagAtAra cAra mAha taka samparka rahanese zrI paM. dIpacandrajI varNIke sAtha merI adhika ghaniSThatA ho gii| pahale unake sAtha vArtAlApa karanemeM jo bhaya lagatA thA vaha jAtA rahA / pUjya varNI sArI jaina samAjake zraddhA-bhAjana haiN| maiMne jabase hoza sambhAlA tabase maiM barAbara dekhatA A rahA hU~ ki unameM jaina samAjake AbAla-vRddhakI gaharI zraddhA hai aura vaha uttarottara bar3hatI hI jAtI hai| pUjya varNIjI kauna hai ? inameM kyA vizeSatA hai ? yaha saba samajhanA usa samaya hI kyoM, aba bhI mere jJAnake bAhara hai| phira bhI ve jaba kabhI zAstrapravacanoM athavA vyAkhyAnoMmeM apanI jIvanakI kucha ghaTanAoMkA ullekha karate the taba hRdayameM yaha icchA hotI thI ki yadi inakA pUrA jIvanacarita koI likha detA to use eka sAtha par3ha letA / maiMne eka dina zrI dIpacandrajI varNIse kahA ki 'bAbUjI' Apa bar3e paNDitajI kA (usa samaya sAgarameM pUjya varNIjI isI nAmase pukAre jAte the) jIvanacarita kyoM nahIM likha dete ? Apa unake sAtha sadA rahate haiM aura unheM acchI taraha jAnate bhI haiN|' eka choTI kakSAke vidyArthIke mukhase inake jIvanacarita likha denekI preraNA sunakara unheM kucha Azcarya-sA huA / unhoMne sarala bhAvase pUchA ki tU inakA jIvanacarita kyoM likhAnA cAhatA hai ? maiMne kahA - 'bAbUjI ! dekho na, jaba kabhI ye zAstrasabhAmeM apanI jIvana ghaTanAe~ sunAne lagate haiM taba duHkhada ghaTanAoMse samasta samAjakI A~khoMse For Personal & Private Use Only

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A~sU nikala par3ate haiM aura kabhI vinodapUrNa ghaTanA sunakara sabhI loga ha~sane lagate haiN| mujhe to lagatA hai ki inake jIvanacaritase logoMko bar3A lAbha hogaa| unhoMne kahA-'pannAlAla ! tU samajhatA hai ki inakA jIvanacarita likhanA sarala kAma hai aura maiM inake sAtha rahatA hU~ isalie samajhatA hai ki maiM inheM jAnatA huuN| para inakA jIvanacarita inake sivAya kisI anya lekhakako likhanA sarala nahIM hai aura ye itane gambhIra puruSa haiM ki varSoM ke samparkase bhI inheM samajha sakanA kaThina hai| sambhava hai terI icchA ye svayaM hI kabhI pUrNa kreNge|' bAbUjIkA uttara sunakara maiM cupa raha gayA aura usa samayase pUjya varNIjImeM merI zraddhAkA pariNAma kaI gunA adhika ho gyaa| ____ maiM pahale likha cukA hU~ ki varNIjI isa yugake sarvAdhika zraddhA-bhAjana vyakti haiN| inhoMne apanI niHsvArtha sevAoMke dvArA jaina samAjameM anUThI jAgRti kara use zikSAke kSetrameM jo Age bar3hAyA hai vaha eka aisA mahAn kAma hai ki jisase jaina samAjakA gaurava bar3hA hai| jahA~ tattvArthasUtrakA mUla pATha kara denevAle vidvAn durlabha the, vahA~ Aja gommaTasAra tathA dhavalAdi siddhAMta-granthoMkA pArAyaNa karanevAle vidvAn sulabha haiN| yaha saba pUjya varNIjIkI satata sAdhanAoMkA hI to phala hai| pUjya vIjIkI AtmA samyagdarzana, samyagjJAna aura samyakcaritrase prakAzamAna hai| unake darzana karane mAtrase darzakake hRdayameM zAntikA saMcAra hone lagatA hai aura na jAne kahA~se pavitratAkA pravAha bahane lagatA hai| banArasameM syAdvAda vidyAlaya aura sAgarameM zrI gaNeza di. jaina vidyAlaya sthApita kara Apane jaina saMskRtike saMrakSaNa tathA poSaNake sabase mahAna kArya kiye haiN| itanA saba honepara bhI Apa apanI prazaMsAse dUra bhAgate haiN| apanI prazaMsA sunanA Apako bilkula pasanda nahIM hai| aura yahI kAraNa rahA ki Apa apanA jIvanacarita likhaneke lie bAra-bAra preraNA honepara bhI use TAlate rhe| ve kahate rahe ki 'bhAI ! kunda kunda, samantabhadra Adi lokakalyANakArI uttamottama mahApuruSa hue, jinhoMne apanA caritra kucha bhI nahIM likhaa| maiM apanA jIvana kyA likhU ? usameM hai hI kyA ? abhI pichale varSoM meM pUjya zrI jaba tIrtharAja sammedazikharase paidala bhramaNa karate hue sAgara padhAre aura sAgarakI samAjane unake svAgata-samArohakA utsava kiyA taba vitaraNa karaneke lie maiMne jIvanajhA~kI nAmakI 16 pRSThAtmaka eka pustikA likhI thii| utsavake bAda pUjya varNIjIne jaba yaha For Personal & Private Use Only

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pustikA dekhI taba ha~sate hue bole 'are ! isameM yaha kyA likha diyA ? merA janma to ha~serAmeM huA thA, tumane luharImeM likhA hai aura merA janmasaMvata 1631 hai, para tumane 1630 likhA hai| bAkI saba stutivAda hai| isameM jIvanakI jhA~kI hai hI kahA~ ?' maiMne kahA, 'bAbAjI ! Apa apanA jIvanacarita svayaM likhate nahIM haiM aura na kabhI kisIko kramabaddha ghaTanAoMke noTsa hI karAte haiN| isIse aisI galatiyA~ ho jAtI haiN| maiM kyA karU~ ? logoM ke mu~hase maiMne jaisA sunA vaisA likha diyaa| sunakara vaha ha~sa gaye aura bole ki acchA aba noTsa karA deveNge| mujhe prasannatA huii| parantu noTsa likhAnekA avasara nahIM aayaa| dUsarI varSa jabalapurameM ApakA cAturmAsa huaa| vahA~ zrI bra. kastUracandrakI nAyaka, unakI dharmapatnI tathA bra. sumerucandrajI jagAdharI Adine jIvana-caritra likha denekI Apase preraNA kii| nAyakana bAIne to yahA~ taka kahA ki mahArAja ! jabataka Apa likhanA zurU na kara deMge tabataka maiM bhojana na kruuNgii| phalataH avakAza pAkara unhoMne svaya hI likhanA zurU kiyA aura prArambhase lekara IsarIse sAgarakI ora prasthAna karane takakA ghaTanA-cakra kramazaH lipibaddha kara liyaa| jabalapurase hamAre eka paricita bandhune mujhe patra likhA ki pUjya varNIjIne samayasArakI TIkA tathA apanA jIvanacarita likhA hai use Apa prakAzita karaneke lie prApta karanekA prayatna kreN| mitrakI bAtapara mujhe vizvAsa nahIM huA aura maiMne unheM likha diyA ki varNIjIne samayasArakI TIkA likhI hai, yaha to ThIka hai, para jIvanacarita bhI likhA hai, isa bAtapara mujhe vizvAsa nahIM hotaa| ___ bhAratavarSIya di. jaina vidvatapariSadkI orase sAgarameM san 1647 ke maI-jUnameM zikSaNazivirakA Ayojana huA thaa| usa samaya pUjya varNIjI malaharAmeM the, maiM zivirake samaya sAgara padhAranekI prArthanA karaneke lie malaharA gyaa| bra.cidAnandajIne (aba Apa kSullaka haiM) kahA ki bAbAjIne apanA jIvana-carita likha liyA hai| madhyAhnakI sAmAyikake bAda ve use sunaaveNge| sunakara mere harSakA pArAvAra na rhaa| 'sambhava hai' yaha svayaM hI kabhI terI icchA pUrNa kareMge' svargIya dIpacandajI varNIke ukta zabda smRtimeM A gye| 2 bajese pUjya vIjIne jIvana-caritake kucha prakaraNa sunaaye| eka prakaraNa bAIjIkI sammedazikhara yAtrA aura zrIpArzvanAtha svAmIke mandirameM AlocanAke rUpameM unakI AtmakathA kA bhI thaa| sunakara hRdaya bhara aayaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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bahuta bAra prArthanAke bAda Apane saba kApiyA~ mujhe de dii| mujhe aisA lagA, mAno nidhi mila gaI ho| __avakAza pAte hI maiMne presa-kApI karanA zurU kara diyA, lagAtAra 3-4 mAha kAma karaneke bAda pUrI presa-kApI taiyAra kara pUjyazrIko dikhAneke lie baruAsAgara gyaa| vahA~ 3-4 dina anavarata baiThakara Apane pUrI presa-kApI dekhI tathA sunii| bhAgyavaza usI samaya yahA~ paM. phUlacandrajI zAstrI banArasa, paM. pannAlAlajI kAvyatIrtha banArasa aura paM. vaMzIdharajI vyAkaraNAcArya bInA bhI pahu~ca gye| bAbU rAmasvarUpajI vahA~ the hii| saba kA Agraha huA ki isakA prakAzana zrI gaNezaprasAda varNI jaina granthamAlAse honA caahie| isake pahale isI prakArakI preraNA paM. jaganmohanalAlajI kaTanIse bhI prApta ho cukI thii| ataH maiMne pUjya vIjIkI sammatyanusAra pUrI presa-kApI usI vakta paM. phUlacandrajI zAstrIko sauMpa dI aura unhoMne prakAzita karanA bhI zurU kara diyaa| IsarIse prasthAna karaneke bAdake kaI prakaraNa pUjya varNIjIne bAdameM likhakara diye, jinakI presa-kApI kara maiM paM. phUlacandrajIke pAsa bhejatA rhaa| paM. phUlacandrajIko isake prakAzana meM eka varSa taka kAphI zrama karanA par3A hai| isa pustakakA 'merI jIvana-gAthA' nAma bhI baruAsAgarameM hI nizcita huA thaa| pAThakagaNa svayaM par3hakara dekheMge ki 'merI jIvanagAthA' pustaka kitanI kalyANaprada hai| ye yaha bhI anAyAsa samajha sakeMge ki eka sAdhAraNa puruSa kitanI vipadAoMkI A~ca sahakara kharA sonA banA hai| isa pustakako par3hakara kahIM pAThakoM ke netra A~suoMse bhara jAveMge to kahIM hRdaya AnandameM uchalane lagegA aura kahIM vastusvarUpakI tAttvika vyAkhyA samajha karake zAnti-sudhAkA rasAsvAda karane lgeNge| isameM sirpha jIvana-ghaTanAe~ nahIM haiM, kintu aneka tAttvika upadeza bhI haiN| jisase yaha eka dharmazAstrakA grantha bana gayA hai| pUjyazrIne apane jIvanase sambaddha anekoM vyaktiyoMkA isameM paricaya diyA hai, jisase yaha Age calakara itihAsakA bhI kAma degA, aisA merA vizvAsa hai| antameM merI bhAvanA hai ki isakA aise vizAla paimAne para pracAra ho jisase sabhI isase lAbhAnvita ho skeN| varNIbhavana, sAgara tuccha 2/2/1646 pannAlAla jaina For Personal & Private Use Only

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isa pustaka ke prakAzana meM sahayoga zrI lakSmIcandra jaina, iMjIniyara AgarA For Personal & Private Use Only

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"merI jIvanagAthA" ke viSaya meM pUjya zrI varNIjI ke abhimata maiM apanI jIvanI limvU inakI kalpanA svapa meM miindhii| isameM rasA vidhAna hai hI kyA adhikatara dusarebhAI isa jisa duSTi se dekhate haiM usameM merA kucha bhI prAkeSaNA nahIM hai| natI meM zodhaka hai aura svatanya vicAraka hI haiN| maiM to bhagavAna mahAvIraka mahAn sidAntoM kA anuyAyI mAtra h| majha . unake mArgaanusaraNa karane meM jo mAnandAnunI AtA hai| baharacanAtItahe patamerIjIvanIko viyomaravyA pana mile yaha maiM nahIM cAhatA kuchabhAIbahinoM ne risa paristhiti utpanna kara dI jisa samara isake liravane ke lievAdhyahonA par3A hai yaha dUsarI bAta hai| sAyA hai ima se pAThakagamA mAtra moramArga kI zikSA leMge phAlguna mudi 15.sa. 2005 gaNamA vargI SAR For Personal & Private Use Only

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pUjya zrI 105 gaNeza prasAda jI varNI For Personal & Private Use Only

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syApita pIra saM. 2470 saMsthApaka va saMrakSaka . . pUjyapAda zrI 15 tumlaka zrI digaMbara jaina zAMtinikuMja paM: gaNezaprasAdajI varNI (udAsIna bhAgama) jauharIyAga, sAgara ma0pra0 _ nyAyAcArya patra naM0 tithi..................voranirvANAmba vA.......... zrIpata mahAnAyalamachalI pAlImogya dAna ni:para utAyA samAjAne- mahoyAjogamako vRttike amilana bAstUcI mAphilikhA rAmagaganemApo seyayoMgAvata kAmA uarma jide prastAsikAsa- Apa pAnI dekheM -lalitapura kI ora jAnA yAnta bhara kisa praraNA nahIM khara jAvega- jisa tarI jAnA hA nahIM- ana sArIrika bananA isa progya se jo koI kArya kA gara-govinjana mAnana bitA bhagavAna se bAta nahIM karate hama tI vastu TIkAlokika maThayoM meM hamAmA-gae- hama to palle bhagaha moTI jIva mAtra isa bIga se pIDita hai-maho 3 javAnI pasta kI maryAdA yahI -povakArI zabda kA paTTAra cala paDA- saMsArI mAtra svAhezya se hI svakIyA pravRtti kevate - sasAra meM pAemA prazaMsA kA roga itanA vyApta hai jo isase bhale holA mahAga dula hai merA to vizvAsa hai papAya vida hI isase mAra bhA. 14.infan zrI paM0 phUlacandra jI zAstrI ko pU0 varNI jI dvArA likhita eka ptr| pU0 varNI jI ne apane nAma ke Age chapI sabhI upAdhiyA~ kATa rakhI haiN| For Personal & Private Use Only

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viSaya-sUcI + OM OM OM OM OM # janma aura jainatvakI ora AkarSaNa mArgadarzaka kaDorelAlajI bhAyajI dharmamAtA zrI cirauMjAbAIjI jayapura kI asaphala yAtrA zrIsvarupacandrajI banapurayA aura khuraI yAtrA khuraImeM tIna dina seTha lakSmIcandrajI rezandIgiri aura kuNDalapura rAmaTeka muktAgiri karmacakra gajapanthAse bambaI vidyAdhyayanakA suyoga cirakAMkSita jayapura yaha jayapura hai mahAn melA paM. gopAladAsajI varaiyAke saMparka meM mahAsabhAkA vaibhava guru gopAladAsajI varaiyA mathurAse khurajA zikharajIke lie prasthAna mArgameM gaMgA-yamunA saMgama darzana aura parikramA zrI dulAra jhA paM. ThAkuradAsajI jainatva kA apamAna gurudevakI khojameM syAdvAda vidyAlayakA udaghATana (2) syAdvAda vidyAlayakA udghATana adhiSThAtA bAbA bhAgIrathajI chAtrasabhA meM merA bhASaNa mahAn prAyazcita lAlA prakAzacandra raIsa F 8 & * & & 33. For Personal & Private Use Only

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66 100 101 104 108 111 113 117 121 122 125 127 130 135 137 banArasa hindU yUnivarsiTImeM jainakorsa sahasranAmakA adbhuta prabhAva bAIjIke zirazzUla bAIjIkA svAbhimAna bAIjIkA mahAn tattvajJAna DAkTara yA sahRdayatAkA avatAra bundelakhaNDake do mahAn vidvAn cakautImeM draupadI nIca jAti, para ucca vicAra navadvIpa, kalakattA phira banArasa bAbA zivalAlajI aura bAbA daulatarAmajI koI upadeSTA nahIM thA sAgarameM zrI sattarasudhAtaragiNI jaina pAThazAlA kI sthApanA pAThazAlAkI sahAyatAke lie mar3AvarAmeM vimAnotsava patita pAvana jainadharma dUradarzI mUlacandrajI sarrApha zaMkita saMsAra nivRttikI ora paJcoMkI adAlata jAtikA saMvara zrImAn bAbA gokulacandrajI paJcoMkA darabAra dharmakA ThekedAra koI nahIM rasakhIra asaphala cora Aja yahA~, kala vahA~ morAjIke vizAla prAMgaNameM kalazotsavameM zrI paM. ambAdAsajI zAstrIkA bhASaNa vaizAkhiyA zrI pannAlAlajI gajakoTA candekI dhunameM zrI siMghaI ratanalAlajI dAnavIra zrIkamarayA rajjIlAlajI jaina jAti bhUSaNa zrI siMghaI kundanalAlajI 143 148 151 166 172 175 176 185 160 161 162 164 166 204 205 206 208 206 67. 68. For Personal & Private Use Only

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212 214 71. 12. 214 216 217 73. 74. 218 75. 220 222 76. 77. 232 78. 236 245 76. 255 0 257 256 261 266 0 268 86. droNagiri rur3hivAdakA eka udAharaNa droNagiri kSetrapara pAThazAlAkI sthApanA dayA hI mAnavakA pramukha kartavya vezyAvyasana mahilAkA viveka bAlAdapi subhASitaM grAhmam zrI gomaTezvara yAtrA zrI girinAra yAtrA bhikSA se zikSA prabhAvanA paravArasabhAke adhivezana nispRha vidvAn aura udAra gRhastha jabalapurameM zikSA-mandira paravArasabhAmeM vidhavAvivAhakA prastAva papaurA aura ahArakSetra rUr3hiyoMkI rAjadhAnI baruAsAgara bAIjIkA sarvasva samarpaNa baNDAkI do vArtAe~ puNya parIkSA apanI bhUla billIkI samAdhi bAIjIkI hAjirajavAbI vyavasthApriya bAIjI abalA nahIM sabalA harI bharI khetI zAhapurameM vidyAlaya khataulImeM kundakundavidyAlaya kucha prakaraNa zikharajIkI yAtrA aura bAIjIkA vratagrahaNa bAIjIkI AtmakathA bAIjIkA samAdhimaraNa samAdhike bAda zAhapurameM 274 272 274 275 276 277 61 277 278 280 283 285 288 260 263 6 100. 266 101. 102. 103. 302 306 311 For Personal & Private Use Only

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313 337 105. 106. 338 340 108. 345 346 110. 350 352 355 113. 360 362 364 365 373 373 104. girirAjakI paidala yAtrA girirAjakI vandanA IsarImeM udAsInAzrama 107. yaha IsarI hai dambhase baco 106. maleriyA zrI bAbA bhAgIrathajIkA samAdhimaraNa 111. IsarIse gayA phira pAvApura 112. bIra-nirvANotsava rAjagRhImeM dharmagoSThI 114. girIDIhakA cAturmAsa 115... sAgarakI ora 116. mArgameM 117. sAgarakA samAroha 118. sAgarake aJcalameM kaTanImeM vidvatapariSad 120. jabalapurake sAthI 121. jabalapurameM gurukula 122. jabalapurase sAgara phira droNagiri 123. sAgarameM zikSaNa-zivira sAgarameM sara seTha hukumacandrajIkA zubhAgamana 125. sAgarase prasthAna 126. damohameM kucha dina 127. bundelakhaNDakA paryaTana 128. baruAsAgarameM vividha samAroha 126. 'baruAsAgarase sonAgiri 130. mahAvIra jayantI 131. eka svapna 132. dillI yAtrAkA nizcaya 133. lazkarakI ora 134. gopAcalake aJcalameM 116. 378 382 124. 383 387 360 364 366 368 400 407 411 413 414 415 416 420 For Personal & Private Use Only

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janma aura jainatvakI ora AkarSaNa namaH samayasArAya svAnubhUtyA ckaaste| citsvabhAvAya bhAvAya sarvabhAvAntaracchide / / merA nAma gaNeza varNI hai| janma samvat 1631 ku~vAra vadi 4 ko hasere gA~vameM huA thaa| yaha jilA lalitapura (jhA~sI), tahasIla mahAronIke antargata madanapura thAnemeM sthita hai| pitAkA nAma zrI hIrAlAlajI aura mAtAkA nAma ujiyArI thaa| merI jAti asATI thii| yaha prAyaH bundelakhaNDameM pAI jAtI hai| isa jAtivAle vaiSNava dharmAnuyAyI hote haiN| pitAjIkI sthiti sAmAnya thii| ve sAdhAraNa dukAnadArIke dvArA apane kuTumbakA pAlana karate the| vaha samaya hI aisA thA, jo AjakI apekSA bahuta hI alpa dravyameM kuTumbakA bharaNa-poSaNa ho jAtA thaa| usa samaya eka rupayAmeM eka manase adhika gehU~, tIna sera ghI aura ATha sera tilakA tela milatA thaa| zeSa vastue~ isI anupAtase milatI thiiN| saba loga kapar3A prAyaH gharake sUtakA pahinate the| sabake ghara carakhA calatA thaa| khAneke lie ghI, dUdha bharapUra milatA thaa| jaisA ki Aja kala dekhA jAtA hai usa samaya kSaya-rogiyoMkA sarvathA abhAva thaa| AjA-dAdAkI Ayu 50 varSakI hone para mere pitAkA janma huA thaa| isake bAda pitAke do bhAI aura hue the, jo kramazaH AjA-dAdAkI 60 aura 70 varSakI umrameM janme the| taba dAdIkI Ayu 40, 50, 60 varSakI thii| __usa samaya manuSyoM ke zarIra sudRr3ha aura baliSTha hote the| ve atyanta sarala prakRtike hote the| anAcAra nahIM-ke-barAbara thaa| ghara-ghara gAyeM rahatI thiiN| dUdha aura dahIkI nadiyA~ bahatI thiiN| dehAtameM dUdha aura dahIkI bikrI nahIM hotI thii| tIrthayAtrA saba paidala karate the| loga prasannacitta dikhAI dete the| varSAkAlameM loga prAyaH ghara hI rahate the| ve itane dinoMkA sAmAna apane-apane ghara hI rakha lete the| vyApArI loga bailoMkA lAdanA banda kara dete the| vaha samaya hI aisA thA, jo isa samaya sabako AzcaryameM DAla detA hai| bacapanameM mujhe asAtAke udayase sUkIkA roga ho gayA thaa| sAtha hI lIvara Adi bhI bar3ha gayA thaa| phira bhI AyuSkarmake niSekoMkI prabalatAke kAraNa For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA isa saMkaTase merI rakSA ho gayI thii| merI Ayu jaba 6 varSa kI huI, taba mere pitA mar3AvarA A gaye the| taba yahA~ para miDila skUla thA, DAkakhAnA thA aura pulisathAnA bhI thaa| nagara atiramaNIya thaa| yahA~ para 10 jinAlaya aura digambara jainiyoMke 150 ghara the| prAyaH saba sampanna the| do gharAne to bahuta hI dhanADhya aura janasamUhase pUrita the| ___ maiMne 7 varSakI avasthAmeM vidyArambha kiyA aura 14 varSakI avasthAmeM miDila pAsa ho gayA / cU~ki yahA~ para yahIM taka zikSA thI, ataH Age nahIM bar3ha skaa| mere vidyAguru zrImAn paNDita mUlacandrajI brAhmaNa the, jo bahuta hI sajjana the| unake sAtha maiM gA~vake bAhara zrIrAmacandrajIke mandirameM bAhara jAyA karatA thaa| vahIM rAmAyaNapATha hotA thaa| use maiM sAnanda zravaNa karatA thaa| kintu mere gharake sAmane eka jinAlaya thA, isaliye vahA~ bhI jAyA karatA thaa| usa muhallemeM jitane ghara the, saba jainiyoMke the, kevala eka ghara bar3haIkA thaa| una logoMke sahavAsase prAyaH hamAre pitAkA AcaraNa jainiyoMke sadRza ho gayA thaa| rAtribhojana mere pitA nahIM karate the| jaba maiM 10 varSakA thA, tabakI bAta hai| sAmane mandirajIke cabUtarepara prati dina purANa-pravacana hotA thaa| eka dina tyAgakA prakaraNa aayaa| isameM rAvaNake parastrI-tyAga vrata lenekA ullekha kiyA gayA thaa| bahatase bhAiyoMne pratijJA lI, maiMne bhI usa dina Ajanma rAtribhojana tyAga diyaa| isI tyAgane mujhe jainI banA diyaa| eka dinakI bAta hai, maiM zAlAke mandirameM gyaa| daivayogase usa dina vahA~ prasAdameM per3A bA~Te gaye, mujhe bhI milane lge| taba maiMne kahA-'maiMne to rAtrikA bhojana tyAga diyA hai| yaha suna mere gurujI bahuta nArAja hue| bole, chor3anekA kyA kAraNa hai ? maiMne kahA-'guru mahArAja ! mere gharake sAmane jinamandira hai| vahA~ para purANa-pravacana hotA hai| usako zravaNa kara merI zraddhA usI dharmameM ho gaI hai| padmapurANameM puruSottama rAmacandrajIkA caritra citraNa kiyA hai| vahI mujhe satya bhAsatA hai| rAmAyaNameM rAvaNako rAkSasa aura hanumAnako bandara batalAyA hai| isameM merI zraddhA nahIM hai| aba maiM isa mandirameM nahIM jaauuNgaa| Apa mere vidyAguru haiM, merI zraddhAko anyathA karanekA Agraha na kreN| __gurujI bahuta hI bhadra prakRtike the, ataH ve mere zraddhAnake sAdhaka ho gye| eka dinakA jikara hai-maiM unakA hukkA bhara rahA thaa| maiMne hukkA bharaneke samaya tamAkhU pIneke liye cilamako pakar3A, hAtha jala gyaa| maiMne hukkA jamIna For Personal & Private Use Only

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janma aura jainatvakI ora AkarSaNa para paTaka diyA aura gurujIse kahA-'mahArAja ! jisameM aisA durgandhita pAnI rahatA hai, use Apa pIte haiM ? maiMne to use phor3a diyA, aba jo karanA ho, so kro| . gurujI prasanna hokara kahane lage-'tumane dasa rupayekA hukkA phor3a diyA, acchA kiyA, aba na piyeMge, eka balA ttlii| merI prakRti bahuta bhIru thI, maiM Dara gayA, parantu unhoMne sAMtvanA dii| kahA-'bhayakI bAta nhiiN|' mere kulameM yajJopavIta saMskAra hotA thaa| 12 varSa kI avasthA meM bar3herA gA~vase mere kula-purohita Aye, unhoMne merA yajJopavItasaMskAra karAyA, mantrakA upadeza diyaa| sAthameM yaha bhI kahA ki yaha mantra kisI ko mata batAnA, anyathA aparAdhI hoNge| maiMne kahA-'mahArAja ! Apake to hajAroM ziSya haiN| Apako sabase adhika aparAdhI honA caahiye| Apane mujhe dIkSA dI, yaha ThIka nahIM kiyA, kyoMki Apa svayaM sadoSa haiN|' isa para purohitajI mere Upara bahuta nArAja hue| mA~ ne bhI bahuta tiraskAra kiyA, yahA~ taka kahA ki aise putrase to aputravatI hI maiM acchI thii| maiMne kahA-'mA~jI ! ApakA kahanA sarvathA ucita hai, maiM aba isa dharmameM nahIM rahanA caahtaa| Ajase maiM zrI jinendradevako chor3akara anyako na maanuuNgaa| merA pahalese yahI bhAva thaa| jainadharma hI merA kalyANa kregaa| bAlyAvasthAse hI merI ruci isI dharmakI ora thii| miDila klAsameM par3hate samaya mere eka mitra the, jinakA nAma tulasIdAsa thaa| ye brAhmaNa-putra the| mujhe do rupayA mAsika vajIphA milatA thaa| yaha rupayA maiM inhIMko de detA thaa| jaba maiM miDila pAsa kara cukA, taba mere gA~vameM par3haneke sAdhana na the, ataH adhika vidyAbhyAsase mujhe vaJcita rahanA pdd'aa| cAra varSa mere khela-kUdameM gye| pitAjIne bahuta kucha kahA-'kucha dhandhA karo' parantu merese kucha nahIM huaa| mere do bhAI aura the, ekakA vivAha ho gayA thA, dUsarA choTA thaa| ve donoM hI paraloka sidhAra gye| merA vivAha aThAraha varSameM huA thaa| vivAha honeke bAda hI pitAjIkA svargavAsa ho gayA thaa| unakI jainadharmameM hI dRr3ha zraddhA thii| isakA kAraNa NamokAra mantra thaa| vaha eka bAra dUsare gA~va jA rahe the, sAthameM bailapara dukAnadArIkA sAmAna thaa| mArgameM bhayaMkara vana pAra karake jAnA thaa| ThIka bIcameM, jahA~ do koza gA~va idhara-udhara na thA, zera-zeranI A gye| bIsa gajakA phAsalA thA, mere For Personal & Private Use Only

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4 merI jIvanagAthA pitAjIkI A~khoMke sAmane a~dherA chA gyaa| unhoMne manameM NamokAra mantrakA smaraNa kiyA, daivayogase zera zeranI mArga kATakara cale gaye / yahI unakI jainamatameM dRr3ha zraddhAkA kAraNa huA / svargavAsake samaya unhoMne mujhe yaha saMdeza diyA ki 'beTA, saMsArameM koI kisIkA nahIM.... yaha zraddhAna dRr3ha rakhanA / tathA merI eka bAta aura dRr3ha rItise hRdayaMgama kara lenA / vaha yaha ki maiMne NamokAra mantrake smaraNase apaneko bar3I-bar3I ApattiyoM se bacAyA hai| tuma niraMtara isakA smaraNa rakhanA / jisa dharmameM yaha maMtra hai usa dharmakI mahimA kA varNana karanA hamArese tuccha jJAniyoMdvArA honA asambhava hai| tumako yadi saMsAra-bandhanase mukta honA iSTa hai to isa dharmameM dRr3ha zraddhAna rakhanA aura ise jAnanekA prayAsa karanA / basa, hamArA yahI kahanA hai|' 1 jisa dina unhoMne yaha upadeza diyA thA, usI dina sAyaMkAlako mere dAdA, jinakI Ayu 110 varSakI thI, bar3e cintita ho uThe / avasAnake pahale jaba pitAjIko dekhaneke liye vaidyarAja Aye, taba dAdAne unase pUchA'mahArAja ! hamArA beTA kaba taka acchA hogA ?' vaidya mahodayane uttara diyA- 'zIghra nIroga ho jAyagA / ' yaha sunakara dAdAne kahA - 'mithyA kyoM kahate ho ? vaha to prAtaHkAla taka hI jIvita rahegA / duHkha isa bAtakA hai ki merI apakIrti hogI- buDr3hA to baiThA rahA, para lar3akA mara gyaa|' itanA kahakara ve so gaye / prAtaH kAla maiM dAdAko jagAne gayA, kauna jAge ? dAdAkA svargavAsa ho cukA thA / unakA dAha kara Aye hI the ki mere pitAkA bhI viyoga ho gyaa| hama saba rone lage, aneka vedanAe~ huIM, para antameM santoSa kara baiTha gaye / mere pitA hI vyApAra karate the, maiM to buddhU thA hI- kucha nahIM jAnatA thA / ataH pitAke maraneke bAda merI mA~ bahuta vyathita huii| isase maiMne madanapura gA~vameM mAsTarI kara lI / vahA~ cAra mAsa raha kara nArmala skUlameM zikSA leneke artha AgarA calA gayA, parantu vahA~ do mAsa hI raha skaa| isake bAda apane mitra ThAkuradAsake sAtha jayapurakI tarapha calA gyaa| eka mAha bAda indaura pahu~cA, zikSA vibhAgameM naukarI kara lI / dehAtameM rahanA par3A / vahA~ bhI upayogakI sthiratA na huI, ataH phira deza calA AyA / mArgadarzaka kar3orelAlajI bhAyajI do mAsake bAda dvirAgamana ho gayA / merI strI bhI mA~ke bahakAvemeM A gaI aura kahane lagI- 'tumane dharma parivartana kara bar3I bhUla kI, aba phira apane For Personal & Private Use Only

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mArgadarzaka kar3orelAlajI bhAyajI 5 . sanAtana dharmameM A jAo aura sAnanda jIvana bitaao| ye vicAra sunakara merA usase prema haTa gyaa| mujhe Apatti-sI a~cane lagI; parantu use chor3aneko asamartha thaa| thor3e dina bAda maiMne kArITorana gA~vakI pAThazAlAmeM adhyApakI kara lI aura vahIM use bulA liyaa| do mAha Amoda-pramodameM acchI taraha nikala gye| itanemeM mere cacere bhAI lakSmaNakA vivAha A gyaa| usameM vaha gaI, merI mA~ bhI gaI, aura maiM bhI gyaa| vahA~ paMktibhojanameM mujhase bhojana karaneke lie Agraha kiyA gyaa| maiMne kAkAjIse kahA ki 'yahA~ to azaddha bhojana banA hai| maiM paMktibhojanameM sammilita nahIM ho sktaa| isase merI jAtivAle bahuta krodhita ho uThe, nAnA avAcya zabdoMse maiM kozA gyaa| unhoMne kahA-'aisA AdamI jAtibahiSkRta kyoM na kiyA jAya, jo hamAre sAtha bhojana nahIM karatA, kintu jainiyoMke caukoMmeM khA AtA hai|' ___ maiMne una sabase hAtha jor3akara kahA ki 'ApakI bAta svIkAra hai|' aura do dina rahakara TIkamagar3ha calA aayaa| vahA~ Akara maiM zrIrAma mAsTarase milaa| unhoMne mujhe jatArA skUlakA adhyApaka banA liyaa| yahA~ Anepara merA paM. motIlAlajI varNI, zrIyuta kar3orelAla bhAyajI tathA svarUpacanda banapuriyA Adise paricaya ho gyaa| isase merI jainadharmameM aura adhika zraddhA bar3hane lgii| dina-rAta dharmazravaNameM samaya jAne lgaa| saMsArakI asAratA para nirantara parAmarza hotA thaa| hama logoMmeM kar3orelAlajI bhAyajI acche tattvajJAnI the| unakA kahanA thA-'kisI kAryameM zIghratA mata karo, pahale tattvajJAnakA sampAdana karo, pazcAt tyAgadharmakI ora dRSTi ddaalo| parantu hama aura motIlAla varNI to raMgarUTa the hI, ataH jo manameM AtA, so tyAga kara baiThate / varNIjI pUjanake bar3e rasika the| ve pratidina zrIjinendradevakI pUjana karanemeM apanA samaya lagAte the| maiM kucha-kucha svAdhyAya karane lagA thA aura khAne-pIneke padArthoM ke chor3anemeM hI apanA dharma samajhane lagA thaa| citta to saMsArase bhayabhIta thA hii| eka dina hama loga sarovara para bhramaNa karaneke liye gye| vahA~ maiMne bhAyajI sAhabase kahA-'kucha aisA upAya batalAiye, jisa kAraNa karmabandhanase mukta ho skuuN| unhoMne kahA-'utAvalI karanese karmabandhanase chuTakArA na milegA, zanaiH-zanaiH kucha-kucha abhyAsa karo, pazcAt jaba tattvajJAna ho jAve, taba rAgAdi nivRttike lie vratoMkA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA pAlana karanA ucita hai| maiMne kahA-'ApakA kahanA ThIka hai parantu merI strI aura mA~ haiM, jo ki vaiSNavadharmako pAlanevAlI haiN| maiMne bahuta kucha unase Agraha kiyA ki yadi Apa jainadharma svIkAra kareM to maiM Apake sahavAsameM rahU~gA, anyathA merA Apase koI sambandha nhiiN| mA~ ne kahA-'beTA ! itanA kaThora bartAva karanA acchA nahIM, maiMne tumhAre pIche kyA kyA kaSTa sahe, yadi unakA digdarzana karAU~, to tumheM ronA A jaayegaa| parantu maiMne eka na sunI; kyoMki merI zraddhA to jainadharmakI ora jhuka gaI thii| usa samaya viveka thA hI nahIM, ataH mA~ se yahA~ taka kaha diyA-'yadi tuma jainadharma aMgIkAra na karogI to mA~ ! maiM Apake hAthakA bhojana taka na kruuNgaa|' merI mA~ sarala thIM, raha gaIM aura rone lgiiN| unakI yaha dhAraNA thI ki abhI chokarA hai, bhale hI isa samaya mujhase udAsa ho jAya, kucha hAni nahIM, parantu strIkA moha na chor3a skegaa| usake mohavaza jhaka mArakara ghara rhegaa| parantu mere hRdayameM jainadharmakI zraddhA honese ajJAnatAvaza aisI dhAraNA ho gaI thI ki 'jitane jainI hote haiM ve saba hI uttama prakRtike manuSya hote haiN| isake sivA dUsaroMse sambandha rakhanA acchA nhiiN|' ataH maiMne mA~se kaha diyA-'aba na to hama tumhAre putra hI haiM aura na tuma hamArI mAtA ho|' yahI bAta strIse bhI kaha dI; jaba aise kaThora vacana mere mukhase nikale, taba merI mAtA aura strI atyanta duHkhI hokara rone lagIM, para maiM niSThura hokara vahA~se calA gyaa| yaha bAta jaba bhAyajIne sunI taba unhoMne bar3A DA~TA aura kahA-'tuma bar3I galatIpara ho| tumheM apanI mA~ aura strIkA sahavAsa nahIM chor3anA caahiye| tumhArI umra hI kitanI hai, abhI tuma saMyamake pAtra nahIM ho, eka patra DAlakara una donoko bulA lo| yahA~ Anese unakI pravRtti jainadharmameM ho jaayegii| dharma kyA hai ? yaha bhI tuma nahIM jaante| dharma AtmAkI vaha pariNati hai jisameM moha-rAga-dveSakA abhAva ho| abhI tuma pAnI chAnakara pInA, rAtriko bhojana nahIM karanA, mandirameM jAkara bhagavAnkA darzana kara lenA, dukhita-bubhukSita-tRSita prANivargake Upara dayA karanA, strIse prema nahIM karanA, jainiyoM ke sahavAsameM rahanA aura dUsaroMke sahavAsakA tyAga karanA Adiko hI dharma samakSa baiThe ho|' ____ maiMne kahA-'bhAyajI sAhaba ! merI to yahI zraddhA hai jo Apa kaha rahe haiN| jo manuSya yA strI jainadharmako nahIM mAnate unase sahavAsa karaneko merA citta For Personal & Private Use Only

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mArgadarzaka kaDorelAlajI bhAyajI nahIM caahtaa| jinadevake sivA anyameM merI jarA bhI abhiruci nhiiN| ___ unhoMne kahA-'dharmakA svarUpa jAnaneke lie kAla cAhiye, AgamAbhyAsakI mahatI AvazyakatA hai| isake binA tattvoMkA nirNaya honA asambhava hai| tattvanirNaya AgamajJa paNDitoMke sahavAsase hogA, ataH tumheM ucita hai ki zAstroMkA adhyayana kro|' ___maiMne kahA-'mahArAja ! tattva jAnanevAle mahAtmA logoMkA nivAsa sthAna kahA~ para hai ? unhoMne kahA-'jayapurameM acche-acche vidvAn haiN| vahA~ jAnese tumheM yaha lAbha ho skegaa| maiM raha gayA, kaise jayapura jAyA jAya ? unakA Adeza thA ki pahale apanI dharmapatnI aura pUjya mAtAko bulAo phira sAnanda dharmapAlana kro| maiMne use zirodhArya kiyA aura eka patra usI dina apanI mA~ko DAla diyaa| patrameM likhA thA ___ 'he mA~ ! maiM ApakA bAlaka hU~, bAlyAvasthAse hI binA kisIke upadeza tathA preraNAke merA jainadharmameM anurAga hai| bAlyAvasthAmeM hI mere aise bhAva hote the ki he bhagavan maiM kisa kulameM utpanna huA hU~ ? jahA~ na to viveka hai aura na koI dharmakI ora pravRtti hI hai| dharma kevala parAzrita hI hai| jahA~ gAyakI pUjAkI jAtI hai, brAhmaNoMko bhagavAnke samAna pUjA jAtA hai, bhojana karanemeM dina-rAtakA bheda nahIM kiyA jAtA hai| aisI durdazAmeM rahakara merA kalyANa kaise hogA ? he prabho ! maiM kisI jainIkA bAlaka kyoM na huA ? jahA~ para chanA pAnI, rAtri bhojanakA tyAga, kisI anya dharmIke hAthakI banI huI roTIkA na khAnA, nirantara jinendradevakI pUjana karanA, stavana karanA, gA-gAkara pUjana karanA, svAdhyAya karanA, roja rAtriko zAstrasabhAkA honA, jisameM muhallA bharakI strI-samAja aura puruSasamAjakA AnA, vrata niyamoMke pAlane kA upadeza honA Adi dharmake kArya hote haiN| maiM yadi aise kulameM janamatA to merA bhI kalyANa hotA ....! parantu Apake bhayase maiM nahIM kahatA thaa| Apane mere pAlana-poSaNameM koI truTi nahIM kii| yaha saba ApakA mere Upara mahopakAra hai| maiM hRdayase vRddhAvasthAmeM ApakI sevA karanA cAhatA hU~, ataH Apa apanI vadhUko lekara yahA~ A jAveM / maiM yahA~ madarasAmeM adhyApaka huuN| mujhe chuTTI nahIM milatI, anyathA maiM svayaM Apako leneke lie aataa| kintu Apake caraNoMmeM merI eka prArthanA aba bhI hai| vaha yaha ki Apane aba taka jisa dharmameM apanI 60 varSakI Ayu pUrNakI, aba use badalakara zrIjinendradeva dvArA prakAzita dharmakA Azraya lIjie, jisase For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA ApakA janma saphala ho aura ApakI caraNasevikA bahUkA bhI saMskAra uttama ho| AzA hai, merI vinayase ApakA hRdaya dravIbhUta ho jaaygaa| yadi isa dharmakA anurAga Apake hRdayameM na hogaa| taba na to Apake sAtha hI merA koI sambandha rahegA aura na hI ApakI bahU ke sAtha hii| maiM cAra mAsa taka Apake caraNoMkI pratIkSA kruuNgaa| yadyapi aisI pratijJA nyAyake viruddha hai, kyoMki kisIko yaha adhikAra nahIM ki kisIkA balAtkArapUrvaka dharma chur3Ave, to bhI maiMne yaha niyama kara liyA hai ki jisako jinadharmakI zraddhA nahIM usake hAthakA bhojana nahIM kruuNgaa| aba ApakI jaisI icchA ho, so kreN|' patra DAlakara maiM niHzalya ho gayA aura zrIbhAyajI tathA varNI motIlAlajIke sahavAsase dharma-sAdhanameM kAla bitAne lgaa| taba maryAdAkA bhojana, devapUjA, svAdhyAya tathA sAmAyika Adi kAryo meM sAnanda kAla jAtA thaa| dharmamAtA zrI cirauMjAbAIjI eka dina zrIbhAyajI va varNIjIne kahA-'simarAmeM cirauMjAbAI bahuta sajjana aura tyAgakI mUrti haiM, unake pAsa clo|' maiMne kahA-'ApakI AjJA zirodhArya hai, parantu merA unase paricaya nahIM, unake pAsa kaise calU~ ?' taba unhoMne kahA-'vahA~ para eka kSullaka rahate haiN| unake darzanake nimitta calo, anAyAsa bAIjIkA bhI paricaya ho jaayegaa| ____ maiM una donoM mahAzayoM ke sAtha simarA gyaa| yaha gA~va jatArAse cAra mIla pUrva hai| usa samaya vahA~para do jinAlaya aura jainiyoMke bIsa ghara the| ve saba sampanna the| jinAlayoM ke darzana kara citta bahuta prasanna huaa| eka mandira bAIjIke zvasurakA banavAyA huA hai| isameM saMgamaramarakI vedI aura cAra phuTakI eka sundara mUrti hai, jisake darzana karanese bahuta Ananda AyA / darzana karaneke bAda zAstra par3hane kA prasaMga aayaa| bhAyajIne mujhase zAstra par3haneko khaa| maiM Dara gyaa| maiMne kahA-'mujhe to aisA bodha nahIM jo sabhAmeM zAstra par3ha skuuN| phira kSullaka mahArAja Adi acche-acche vijJa puruSa virAjamAna haiN| unake sAmane merI himmata nahIM hotii| parantu bhAyajI sAhabake Agrahase zAstragaddIpara baiTha gyaa| yadyapi citta kampita thA, to bhI sAhasa kara bA~canekA udyama kiyaa| daivayogase zAstra padmapurANa thA, isalie vizeSa kaThinAI nahIM huii| dasa patra bA~ca gyaa| zAstra sunakara janatA prasanna huI, kSullaka mahArAja bhI prasanna hue| For Personal & Private Use Only

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dharmamAtA zrI cirauMjAbAI usa dina bhojana bhI bAIjIke ghara thaa| bAIjI sAhaba hama tInoMko bhojanake lie le giiN| caukAmeM pahu~canepara aparicita hone ke kAraNa maiM bhayabhIta hone lagA, kintu anya donoM jana cirakAlase paricita hone ke kAraNa bAIjIse vArtAlApa karane lge| parantu maiM cupacApa bhojana karaneke lie baiTha gyaa| yaha dekha bAIjIne mujhase sneha bhare zabdoMmeM kahA-'bhayakI kauna-sI bAta hai ? sukhapUrvaka bhojana kro|' maiM phira bhI nIcI dRSTi kiye cupacApa bhojana karatA rhaa| vaha dekha bAIjIse na rahA gyaa| unhoMne bhAyajI va varNIjIse pUchA-'kyA yaha maunase bhojana karatA hai ?' unhoMne kahA-'nahIM, yaha Apa se paricita nahIM hai| isIse isakI aisI dazA ho rahI hai| isa para bAIjIne kahA-'beTA sAnanda bhojana karo, maiM tumhArI dharmamAtA hU~, yaha saba tumhAre lie hai, koI cintA na karo, maiM jaba taka hU~, tumhArI rakSA kruuNgii| ____ maiM saMkocameM par3a gyaa| kisI taraha bhojana karake bAIjIkI svAdhyAyazAlA meM calA gyaa| vahIM para bhAyajI va varNIjI A gye| bhojana karane ke bAda bAIjI bhI vahIM para A giiN| unhoMne merA paricaya pUchA / maiMne jo kucha thA, vaha bAIjIse kaha diyaa| paricaya sunakara prasanna huiiN| aura unhoMne bhAyajI tathA varNIjIse kahA-'ise dekhakara mujhe putra jaisA sneha hotA hai-isako dekhate hI mere bhAva ho gaye haiM ki ise putravat paaluuN|' bAIjIke aise bhAva jAnakara bhAyajIne kahA-'isakI mA~ aura dharmapatnI donoM haiN|' bAIjIne kahA-'una donoMko bhI bulA lo, koI cintAkI bAta nahIM, maiM ina tInoMkI rakSA kruuNgii|' bhAyajI sAhabane kahA-'isane apanI mA~ko eka patra DAlA hai| jisameM likhA hai ki yadi jo tuma cAra mAsameM jainadharma svIkAra na karogI to maiM tumase sambandha chor3a duuNgaa| yaha suna bAIjIne bhAyajIko DA~Tate hue kahA-'tumane patra kyoM DAlane diyA ?' sAtha hI mujhe bhI DA~TA-'beTA ! aisA karanA tumheM ucita nhiiN| isa saMsAra meM koI kisIkA svAmI nahIM, tumako kauna-sA adhikAra hai jo usake dharmakA parivartana karAte ho|' maiMne kahA-'galatI to huii| parantu maiMne pratijJA le lI thI ki yadi vaha For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA jainadharma na mAnegI to maiM usakA sambandha chor3a duuNgaa| bahuta tarahase bAIjIne samajhAyA, parantu yahA~ to mUr3hatA thI, eka bhI bAta samajhameM na aaii| yadi dUsarA koI hotA, to mere isa vyavahArase ruSTa ho jaataa| phira bhI bAIjI zAnta rahIM, aura unhoMne samajhAte hue kahA-'abhI tuma dharmakA marma nahIM samajhate ho, isIse yaha galatI karate ho|' maiM phira bhI jahA~-kA tahA~ banA rhaa| bAIjIke isa upadezakA mere Upara koI prabhAva na pdd'aa| antameM bAIjIne kahA-'avivekakA kArya antameM sukhAvaha nahIM hotaa|' astu, sAyaMkAlako bAIjIne dUsarI bAra bhojana karAyA, parantu maiM aba taka bAIjIse saMkoca karatA thaa| yaha dekha bAIjIne phira samajhAyA-'beTA ! mA~se saMkoca mata kro| rAtriko phira zAstrasabhA huI, bhAyajI sAhabane zAstrapravacana kiyA, kSullaka mahArAja bhI pravacanameM upasthita the| unheM dekha merI unase atyanta bhakti ho gii| maiMne rAtri unhIMke sahavAsameM nikaalii| prAtaHkAla nityakAryase nivRtta hokara zrI jinamandira gayA aura vahA~ darzana, pUjana va svAdhyAya karaneke bAda kSullaka mahArAjakI vandanA karake bahuta hI prasanna cittase yAJcA kii| nivedana kiyA-'mahArAja ! aisA upAya batAo, jisase merA kalyANa ho ske| maiM anAdikAlase isa saMsAra bandhanameM par3A huuN| Apa dhanya haiM, yaha ApakI hI sAmarthya hai jo isa padako aMgIkAra kara AtmahitameM lage ho| kyA koI aisA upAya hai, jisase merA bhI hita ho| kSullaka mahArAjane kahA-'hamAre samAgamameM raho aura zAstra likhakara AjIvikA kro| sAtha hI vrata-niyamoMkA pAlana karate hue Anandase jIvana bitaao| Atmahita honA durlabha nahIM !' maiMne kahA-'Apake sAtha rahanA iSTa hai, parantu ApakA yaha Adeza ki zAstroMko likhakara AjIvikA karo, mAnya nhiiN| AjIvikA kA sAdhana to mere liye koI kaThina nahIM, kyoMki maiM adhyApakI kara sakatA huuN| vartamAnameM yahI AjIvikA merI hai bhii| maiM to Apake sAtha rahakara dhArmikI tattvoMkA paricaya prApta karanA cAhatA thaa| yadi Apa isa kAryakI anumati deM, to maiM ApakA ziSya ho sakatA huuN| kintu jo kArya Apane batAyA hai vaha mujhe iSTa nahIM / saMsArameM manuSya janma milanA ati durlabha hai| Apa jaise mahAn puruSoM ke sahavAsase ApakI sevAvRtti karate hue hamAre jaise kSudra puruSoMkA bhI kalyANa ho yahI hamArI bhAvanA hai| yaha suna pahale to mahArAja acarajameM par3a gye| bAdameM unhoMne kahA 'yadi tumako merA kahanA iSTa nahIM, to jo tumhArI icchA ho, so kro|' For Personal & Private Use Only

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jayapurakI asaphala yAtrA 11 usa samaya vahA~ usa gA~vake pratiSThita vyakti basorelAla Adi baiThe hue the| ve mujhase bole-'tuma cintA na karo, hamAre yahA~ raho aura hama logoMko donoM samaya purANa sunaao| hama loga Apako koI kaSTa na hone degeN|' vahA~ para bAIjI bhI baiThI thiiN| sunakara kucha udAsa ho gaI aura bolIM-'beTA ! gharapara clo| maiM unake sAtha ghara calA gyaa| ___ghara pahu~canepara sAntavanA dete hue unhoMne kahA-'beTA ! cintA mata karo, maiM tumhArA putravat pAlana kruuNgii| tuma niHzalya hokara dharmapAlana karo aura dazalakSaNaparvameM yahIM A jAo, kisIke cakkarameM mata aao| kSullaka mahArAja svayaM par3he nahIM haiM, tumheM ve kyA par3hAyeMge ? yadi tumheM vidyAbhyAsa karanA hI iSTa hai, to jayapura cale jaanaa|' yaha bAta Ajase 50 varSa pahale kI hai| usa samaya isa prAntameM kahIM bhI vidyAkA pracAra na thaa| aisA sunanemeM AtA thA ki jayapurameM bar3e-bar3e vidvAna haiN| maiM bAIjIkI sammatise santuSTa ho madhyAhnoparAnta jatArA calA gyaa| bhAdramAsa thA, saMyamase dina bitAne lagA, para saMyama kyA vastu hai, yaha nahIM jAnatA thaa| saMyama samajhakara bhAdramAsa bharake liye chahoM rasa chor3a diye the| rasa chor3anekA abhyAsa to thA nahIM, isase mahAn kaSTakA sAmanA karanA pdd'aa| annakI khurAka kama ho gaI aura zarIra zaktihIna ho gyaa| vratoMmeM bAIjIke yahA~ Anepara unhoMne vratakA pAlana samyak prakArase karAyA aura antameM yaha upadeza diyA--'tuma pahale jJAnArjana karo, pazcAt vratoMko pAlanA, zIghratA mata karo, jainadharma saMsArase pAra karanekI naukA hai, ise pAkara pramAdI mata honA, koI bhI kAma karo, samatAse kro| jisa kAryameM AkulatA ho, use mata kro|' ___ maiMne unakI AjJA zirodhArya kI aura bhAdramAsake bItane para nivedana kiyA ki 'mujhe jayapura bheja do|' bAIjIne kahA-'abhI jaldI mata karo, bheja deNge|' maiMne punaH kahA-'maiM to jayapura jAkara vidyAbhyAsa kruuNgaa|' bAIjI bolIM-'acchA beTA, jo tumhArI icchA ho, so kro|' jayapurakI asaphala yAtrA jAte samaya bAIjIne kahA-'bhaiyA ! tuma sarala ho, mArgameM sAvadhAnIse jAnA, aisA na ho ki saba sAmAna khokara phira vApisa A jaao|' maiM zrIbAIjIke caraNoMmeM praNAma kara simarAse zrIsonAgirIko yAtrAko cala pdd'aa| yahA~se solaha mIla maUrAnIpura hai| vahA~ AyA aura vahA~ke jinAlayoMke darzana kara AnandameM magna ho gyaa| vahA~se relagAr3ImeM baiThakara zrIsonAgiri pahu~ca For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA gyaa| yahA~kI vandanA va parikramA kii| do dina yahA~para rhaa| pazcAt lazkara-gvAliyarake lie sTezanapara gyaa| TikiTa lekara gvAliyara phuNcaa| campAbAgakI dharmazAlAmeM Thahara gyaa| yahA~ke mandiroMkI racanA dekhakara AzcaryameM DUba gyaa| cUMki grAmINa manuSyoMko bar3e-bar3e zaharoMke dekhanekA avasara nahIM AtA, ataH unheM ina racanAoMko dekha mahAn Azcarya honA svAbhAvika hI hai| zrIjinAlaya aura jinabimboMke darzanakara mujhe jo Ananda huA vaha varNanAtIta hai| do dina isI taraha nikala gye| tIsare dina do baje dinake zaucakI bAdhA honepara Adatake anusAra gA~vake bAhara do mIla taka calA gyaa| lauTakara zaharake bAhara kuA~para hAtha pA~va dhoe, snAna kiyA aura bar3I prasannatAke sAtha dharmazAlAmeM lauTa aayaa| Akara dekhatA hU~ ki jisa koThImeM ThaharA thA, usakA tAlA TUTA par3A hai aura pAsameM jo kucha sAmAna thA, vaha saba nadArata hai| kevala bistara baca gayA thaa| isake sivA aMTImeM pA~ca AnA paise, eka loTA, channA, DorI, eka chatarI aura eka dhotI, jo bAhara le gayA thA, itanA sAmAna zeSa bacA thaa| citta bahuta khinna huaa| 'jayapura jAkara adhyayana karU~gA' yaha vicAra aba varSoM ke liye Tala gyaa| zoka-sAgarameM DUba gyaa| kisa prakAra simarA jAU~ ? isa cintAmeM par3a gyaa| zAmako bhUkhane satAyA, ataH bAjArase eka paiseke cane aura eka chadAmakA namaka lekara DeremeM AyA aura Anandase cane cAbakara sAyaMkAla jina bhagavAna ke darzana kiye tathA apane bhAgyakI nindA karatA huA koThImeM so gyaa| prAtaHkAla sonAgirike liye prasthAna kara diyaa| pAsameM na to roTI banAneko bartana the aura na sAmAna hI thaa| eka gA~vameM, jo gvAliyara se 12 mIla hogA, vahA~ Akara do paiseke caneM aura thor3AsA namaka lekara eka ku~e para AyA aura unheM Anandase cAbakara vizrAmake bAda sAyaMkAla cala diyaa| 12 mIla calakara phira do paiseke cane lekara viyAlU kii| phira paJcaparameSThikA dhyAnakara so gyaa| yahI vicAra AyA ki janmAntarameM jo kamAyA thA use bhoganemeM aba AnAkAnIse kyA lAbha ? isa prakAra 3 yA 4 dina bAda sonAgiri A gyaa| phirase siddhakSetrakI vandanA kii| pujArIke bartanoMmeM bhojana banAkara phira paidala cala datiyA aayaa| mArgameM cane khAkara hI nirvAha karatA thaa| datiyAmeM eka paisA bhI pAsa na rahA, bAjArameM gayA, pAsameM kucha na thA, kevala chatarI thii| dukAnadArase kahA For Personal & Private Use Only

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jayapurakI asaphala yAtrA 'bhaiyA ! isa chatarIko le lo|' usane kahA - 'corIkI to nahIM hai, maiM cupa raha gyaa| A~khoMse azru A gaye, parantu usane una azruoMko dekhakara kucha bhI saMvedanA prakaTa na kI / kahane lagA- 'lo chaha AnA paise le jaao|' maiMne kahA - 'chatarI navIna hai, kucha aura de do / ' usane tIvra svarameM kahA - 'chaha Ane le jAo, nahIM to cale jaao|' lAcAra chaha AnA hI lekara cala pdd'aa| 13 do paiseke cane lekara eka ku~e para cAbe, phira cala diyA, dUsare dina jhA~sI phuNcaa| jinAlayoMkI vandanAkara bAjArameM gayA, parantu pAsameM to sAr3he pA~ca AnA hI the, ataH eka Aneke cane lekara, gA~vake bAhara eka ku~e para AyA aura khAkara so gyaa| dUsare dina baruAsAgara pahu~ca gyaa| yaha vahI baruAsAgara hai jo svargIya zrI mUlacandra jI sarrApha aura paM. devakInandanajI mahAzayakI janmabhUmi hai| una dinoM merA kisIse paricaya nahIM thA, ataH jinAlayakI vandanA kara bAjArase eka Aneke cane lekara gA~vake bAhara cAbe aura bAIjIke gA~va ke lie prasthAna kara diyaa| yahA~se calakara kaTerA aayaa| thaka gyaa| kaI dinase bhojana nahIM kiyA thaa| pAsameM kula tIna AnA hI zeSa the / yahA~ eka jinAlaya hai unake darzana kara bAjArase eka AnekA ATA, eka paisekI ur3adakI dAla, Adha AnekA ghI aura eka paise kA namaka- dhaniyA Adi lekara gA~vake bAhara eka ku~e para AyA / pAsameM bartana na the, kevala eka loTA aura channA thA / kaise dAla banAI jAe ? yadi loTAmeM dAla banAU~ to pAnI kaise chAnU~ ? ATA kaise gUnU~ ? 'AvazyakatA AviSkArakI jananI hai' yaha bAta yahA~ caritArtha huI / ATAko to patthara para gUna liyA / parantu dAla kaise bane ? taba yaha upAya sUjhA ki pahale ur3adakI dAlako kapar3eke pallemeM bhigo dii| isake bhIMga cukanepara ATe kI roTI banAkara usake andara use rakha diyA / usImeM namaka, dhaniyA va mirca bhI milA dI / pazcAt usakA golA banAkara aura usapara palAzake patte lapeTa kara jamIna khoda kara eka khaDDemeM use rakha diyaa| Upara aNDe kaNDA rakha diye| usakI Aga taiyAra hone para zeSa ATekI 4 bATiyA~ banAIM aura unheM seMkakara ghI cupar3a diyaa| una dinoM do paisemeM eka chaTA~ka ghI milatA thA, isaliye bATiyA~ acchI taraha cupar3I gaI / pazcAt Agako haTAkara nIcekA golA nikAla liyA / dhIre-dhIre usake ThaNDA honepara usake Uparase adhajale pattoM ko dUra kara diyA / phira goleko phor3akara chevalekI pattarameM dAla nikAla I For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 14 liyaa| dAla paka gaI thii| usako khaayaa| maiMne Ajataka bahuta jagaha bhojana kiyA hai, parantu usa dAlakA jo svAda thA, vaisI dAla Ajataka bhojanameM nahIM aaii| isa prakAra cAra dinake bAda bhojana kara jo tRpti huI use maiM hI jAnatA huuN| aba pAsameM eka AnA raha gyaa| yahA~se calakara phira vahI cAla arthAt do paiseke cane lekara cAbe aura vahA~se calakara pArake gA~va pahu~ca gyaa| yahA~ se simarA nau mIla dUra thA, parantu lajjAvaza vahA~ na jAkara yahIM para rahane lgaa| aura yahIM eka jainI bhAIke ghara Anandase bhojana karatA thA aura gA~vake jaina bAlakoMko prAthamika zikSA dene lgaa| daivakA prabala prakopa to thA hI-mujhe maleriyA Ane lgaa| aise vegase maleriyA AyA ki zarIra pIlA par3a gyaa| auSadhi rogako dUra na kara skii| eka vaidyane kahA-'prAtaHkAla vAyusevana karo aura osameM Adha ghaNTA tthlo|' maiMne vahI kiyaa| pandraha dinameM jvara calA gyaa| phira vahA~se ATha mIla calakara jatArA A gyaa| vahA~ para bhAyajI sAhaba aura varNIjIse bheMTa ho gaI aura unake sahavAsameM pUrvavat dharmasAdhana karane lgaa| zrI svarUpacandrajI banapurayA aura khuraI-yAtrA bAIjIne bahuta bulAyA, parantu maiM lajjAke kAraNa nahIM gyaa| usa samaya yahA~para svarUpacandra banapurayA rahate the| unake sAtha unake gA~va mAcI calA gayA, jo jatArAse tIna mIla dUra hai| vaha bahuta hI sajjana vyakti the| inakI dharmapatnI inake anukUla to thI hI, sAtha hI atithi-satkArameM bhI atyanta paTu thiiN| inameM cauke meM prAyaH pratidina tIna yA cAra atithi (zrAvaka) bhojana karate the| ye bar3e utsAhase merA atithi-satkAra karane lge| inake samAgamase svAdhyAyameM merA vizeSa kAla jAne lgaa| zrI motIlAlajI varNI bhI yahIM A gye| unake AdezAnusAra maiMne budhajana chahaDhAlA kaNThastha kara liyaa| aMtaraMgase jainadharmakA marma kucha nahIM samajhatA thaa| isakA mUla kAraNa yaha thA ki isa prAntameM paddhatise dharmakI zikSA denevAlA koI guru na thaa| yoM mandakaSAyI jIva bahuta the, vrata-upavAsa karane meM zraddhA thI, ghara-ghara zuddha bhojanakI paddhati cAlU thI, zrIjIke vimAna nikAlanekA puSkala pracAra thA, vimAnotsavake samaya cArasau pA~casau sAdharmiyoMko bhojana karAyA jAtA thA, dinameM zrI jinendradevakA abhiSeka-pUjana gAnavidyAke sAtha hotA thA, loga gAnavidyAmeM atikuzala the va jhA~jha-ma~jIrA, Dhola Adi bAjoMke sAtha zrIjinendradevakI pUjA karate the| itanA For Personal & Private Use Only

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zrIsvarUpacandrajI banapurayA aura khuraI yAtrA 15 sundara gAna hotA thA ki loga vizuddha pariNAmoMke dvArA anAyAsa puNyabandhana kara lete the| ina utsavoMmeM janatAmeM sahaja hI jainadharmakA pracAra ho jAtA thA / svarUpacandrajI banapurayAke yahA~ prativarSa zrI jinendrakI jalayAtrA hotI thii| inake yahA~ Anandase do mAha bIta gaye / anantara zrI svarUpacandrajI banapurayAkA kisI kAryavaza zrImantake yahA~ jAnekA vicAra huaa| unhoMne Agrahake sAtha mujhase kahA - ' jabataka maiM vApisa na A jAU~ tabataka Apa yahA~ se anyatra na jaaeN|' isa samaya zrIyuta varNIjI jatArA cale gaye the / isase merA citta khinna ho uThA / kintu saMsArakI dazAkA vicArakara yahI nizcaya kiyA ki 'jahA~ saMyoga hai vahA~ viyoga hai aura jahA~ viyoga hai vahA~ saMyoga hai / anyakI kathA chor3iye, saMsArakA viyoga hone para hI mokSakA saMyoga hotA hai| jaba vastusthiti hI isa rUpa hai taba zoka karanA vyartha hai|' itanA vicAra kiyA to bhI varNIjIke viyogameM maiM udAsa hI rahane lgaa| isase itanA lAbha avazya huA ki merA mAcI rahanA chUTa gyaa| yadi varNIjI mahodaya jatArA na jAte to maiM mAcI kadApi na chor3atA / svarUpacandrajI banapurayAke sAtha mere bhI bhAva khuraI jAneko ho gaye / unhoMne bhI hArdika premake sAtha calanekI anumati de dii| do dinameM hamaloga TIkamagar3ha pahu~ca gye| una dinoM vahA~ jainadharmake mArmika jJAtA do vidvAn the / ekakA nAma zrI goTIrAma bhAyajI thA / Apa saMskRtake prakANDa vidvAn to the hI, sAtha hI zrIgommaTasArAdi granthoMke mArmika vidvAn the / ApakI vacanikAmeM acchA janasamudAya upasthita rahatA thA / maiM bhI Apake pravacanameM gayA aura ApakI vyAkhyAnazailI suna mugdha ho gayA / manameM yahI bhAva huA ki - 'he prabho ! kyA Apake divyajJAnameM yaha dekhA gayA hai ki maiM bhI kisI dina jainadharmakA jJAtA hoU~gA / ' 1 dUsare paNDita javAharalAla daragaiyAM the| inake zAstra-pravacanameM bhI maiM gyaa| Apa bhASAke prakhara paNDita the / galA itanA surIlA thA ki acche-acche gAnavidyAvAle mohita ho jAte the| jaba ye uccasvarase kisI caupAI yA dohekA uccAraNa karate the, taba do pharlAMga taka inakA zabda sunAI par3atA thA / pA~ca hajAra janatA bhI inakA pravacana suna sakatI thI / inakI madhura dhvani suna rote hue bAlaka bhI zAnta ho jAte the / kahA~ taka likhU~ ? inake pravacanameM Apase Apa sabhA zAnta bhAvakA Azraya le dharmakAma karatI huI apaneko kRtyakRtya samajhatI thii| jo eka bAra ApakA pravacana suna cukatA thA, vaha punaH pravacana sunako utsuka rahatA thA / inake pravacanake lie loga pahalese hI upasthita ho jAte the| maiMne do dina inake zrImukhase pravacana sunA thA, aura phira bhI sunane kI For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 16 icchA banI rhii| kintu khuraI jAnA thaa| isaliye tIsare dina yahA~se prasthAna kara diyaa| yahA~se zrInandakizora vaidya bhI khuraIke liye banapurayAke sAtha ho gye| Apa vaidya hI na the jainadharmake bhI vidvAn the| inakA sAtha ho jAnese mArgameM kisI prakArakI thakAna nahIM huii| Apane mujhe bahuta samajhAyA aura yaha Adeza diyA ki tuma isa taraha bhramaNa mata karo, isase koI lAbha nhiiN| yadi vAstavameM jainadharmakA rahasya jAnanekI abhilASA hai to mar3AvarA. raho aura apanI mA~ tathA dharmapatnIko sAtha rkho| vahA~ bhI jainI haiN| unake sambandhase tumhArI samajhameM jainadharmakA rahasya A jaaygaa| isImeM tumhArI pratiSThA hai| ghara-ghara phiranese anAdara hone lagatA hai| maiM unakI bAta mAna gayA aura khuraI yAtrAke bAda ghara cale jAnekI icchA jAhira kii| khuraI calanekA prayojana batalAte hue maiMne kahA-'sunate haiM ki vahA~ para zrI pannAlAlajI jainadharmake prakhara vidvAn haiM / unake darzana kara mar3AvarA calA jaauuNgaa|' khuraImeM tIna dina __tIna yA cAra dinameM khuraI pahu~ca gyaa| ve saba zrImantake yahA~ Thahara gye| unake sAtha maiM bhI vahIM Thahara gyaa| yahA~ zrImantase tAtparya zrImAn zrImanta seTha mohanalAlajIse hai| Apa karor3apati the| karor3apati to bahuta hote haiM parantu ApakI pratibhA bRhaspatike sadRza thii| Apa jainazAstrake marmajJa vidvAn the| Apa pratidina pUjA karate the| Apa jainazAstrake hI majJa vidvAn na the kintu rAjakIya kAnUnake bhI prakhara paNDita the| sarakArameM ApakI pratiSThA acche raIsoMke samAna hotI thii| khuraIke to Apa rAjA kahalAte the| Apake saba ThATa rAjAoMke samAna the| jaina jAtike Apa bhUSaNa the| Apake yahA~ tIna mAha bAda eka kameTI hotI thI, jisameM khuraI-sAgara prAntakI jaina janatA sammilita hotI thii| usakA kula vyaya Apa hI karate the| Apake yahA~ paNDita pannAlAlajI nyAyadivAkara va zrImAn zAntilAlajI sAhaba AgarAvAle Ate rahate the| unake Apa atyanta bhakta the| usa samaya Apa digambara jaina mahAsabhAke mantrI bhI the| sAyaMkAla saba loga zrIjinAlaya gye| zrIjinAlayakI racanA dekhakara citta prasanna huA, kintu sabase adhika prasannatA zrI 1008 devAdhideva pArzvanAthake pratibimbako dekhakara huii| yaha sAtizaya pratimA hai| dekhakara hRdayameM jo pramoda huA vaha avarNanIya hai| nAsAgradRSTi dekhakara yahI pratIta hotA thA ki prabhukI saumyatA atula hai| aisI mudrA vItarAgatAkI anumApaka hai| nirAkulatArUpa For Personal & Private Use Only

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khuraImeM tIna dina vItarAgatA hI ananta sukhakI jananI hai| mujhe jo Ananda AyA vaha kisase kahU~ ? usakI kucha upamA ho, taba to khuuN| vaha jJAnameM to A gayA, parantu varNana karaneko mere pAsa zabda nhiiN| itanA bhara kaha sakatA hU~ ki vaha Ananda paJcendriyoMke viSaya-sevanase nahIM A sktaa| yadyapi paJcendriyoMke viSayase bhI Ananda AtA hai, parantu usameM tRSNArogarUpa AkulatA banI rahatI hai| mUrtike dekhanese jo Ananda AyA usameM vaha bAta nahIM thii| Apa loga mAne yA na mAneM, parantu mujhe to vilakSaNatAkA bhAna huA aura Apa mere dvArA sunanA cAhe to merI zakti se bAhya hai| merA to yahA~ taka vizvAsa hai ki sAmAnya ghaTapaTAdika padArthoM kA jo jJAna hai usake vyakta karanekI bhI hamameM sAmarthya nahIM hai phira isakA vyakta karanA to bahuta hI kaThina hai| zrI prabhu pArzvanAthake darzanake anantara zrImAn paNDitajIkA pravacana sunaa| paNDitajI bahuta hI rocaka aura mArmika vivecanake sAtha tattvakI vyAkhyA karate the| yadyapi paNDitajIkA vivecana sAragarbhita thA, parantu hama ajJAnI loga usakA vizeSa lAbha nahIM le ske| phira bhI vizaddha bhAva honese puNyakA saMcaya karanemeM samartha hue| zAstra-samAptike anantara DerApara Akara so gye| prAtaHkAla zaucAdise nivRtta hokara zrImandirajImeM darzanAdi karaneke nimitta cale gye| prAtaHkAlakA samaya thaa| loga svarake sAtha pUjana kara rahe the| sunakara maiM gadgad ho gyaa| deva-devAMganAoMkI taraha mandirameM puruSa aura nAriyoMkA samudAya thaa| ina sabake stavanAdi pAThase mandira gUMja uThatA thaa| aisA pratIta hotA thA, mAno meghadhvani ho rahI ho| pUjA samApta honeke anantara zrImAn paNDitajIkA pravacana huaa| paNDitajI samayasAra aura padmapurANa zAstroMkA rahasya itanI svaccha praNAlIse kaha rahe the ki do-sau strI-puruSa citralikhita manuSyoM ke samAna sthira ho gaye the| merI AtmA meM vilakSaNa sphUrti huii| jaba zAstra virAjamAna ho gaye taba maiMne zrImAn vaktAjIse kahA-'he bhagavan ! maiM apanI manovRttimeM jo kucha AyA use Apako zravaNa karAnA cAhatA huuN|' AjJA huii-'sunaao|' maiMne kahA-'aisA bhI koI upAya hai jisase maiM jainadharmakA rahasya jAna sakU~ ?' Apane kahA-'tuma kauna ho ?' maiMne kahA-'bho bhagavan ! maiM vaiSNava kulake asATIvaMzameM utpanna huA huuN| mere vaMzake sabhI loga vaiSNava dharmake upAsaka haiN| vaMza hI kyA, jitane bhI asATI vaizya haiM saba hI vaiSNava dharmake upAsaka haiM kintu merI zraddhA bhAgyodayase isa jainadharmameM dRr3ha ho gaI hai| nirantara isI cintAmeM rahatA hU~ ki jainadharmakA kucha jJAna ho jaay|' paNDitajI mahodayane prazna kiyA ki 'tumane jainadharmameM kauna-sI vilakSaNatA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 18 dekhI, jisase ki tumhArI abhiruci jainadharmakI ora ho gaI hai ?' maiMne kahA-'isa dharma vAle dayAkA pAlana karate haiM, chAnakara pAnI pIte hai, rAtri bhojana nahIM karate, svacchatApUrvaka rahate haiM, strI-puruSa pratidina mandira jAte haiM, mandirameM mUrtiyA~ bahuta sundara hotI haiM, pratidina mandirameM zAstra-pravacana hotA hai, kisI dUsarI jAtikA bhojana nahIM karate haiM aura bhojanakI sAmagrI samyak prakAra dekhakara upayoga meM lAte haiM ityAdi zubhAcaraNakI vizeSatA dekhakara maiM jainadharmameM dRr3ha zraddhAvAn ho gayA huuN|' paNDitajI ne kahA-'yaha kriyA to hara dharmavAle kara sakate haiM, hara koI dayA pAlatA hai| tumane dharmakA marma nahIM smjhaa| Ajakala manuSya na to kucha samajheM aura na jAneM, kevala khAna-pAnake lobhase jainI ho jAte haiN| tumane bar3I bhUla kI, jo jainI ho gaye, aisA honA sarvathA anucita hai| vaJcanA karanA mahApApa hai| jAo, maiM kyA smjhaauuN| mujhe to tumhAre Upara tarasa AtA hai| na to tuma vaiSNava hI rahe aura na hI tuma jainI hii| vyartha hI tumhArA janma jaayegaa|' paNDitajIkI bAta sunakara mujhe bahuta kheda huaa| maiMne kahA-'mahArAja ! Apane mujhe sAntvanAke badale vAkavANoMkI varSAse Achanna kara diyaa| merI AtmAmeM to itanA kheda huA, jise maiM vyakta hI nahIM kara sktaa| Apane mere sAtha jo isa taraha vyavahAra kiyA, so Apa hI batalAiye ki maiMne kyA Apase candA mA~gA thA yA koI yAcanA kI thI, yA AjIvikAkA sAdhana pUchA thA ? vyartha hI Apane mere sAtha anyathA vyavahAra kiyaa| kyA yahA~ para jitane zrotA haiM ve saba ApakI taraha zAstra bA~canemeM paTu haiM yA saba hI jainadharmake mArmika paNDita haiM ? nahIM, maiM to eka bhinna kulakA bhinna dharmakA anuyAyI huuN| thor3ese kAlameM binA kisI samAgamake jainadharmakA svarUpa kaise jAna sakatA thA ? aura phira Apa jaise vidvAnoMke sAmane kahatA hI kyA ? maiMne jo kucha kahA, bahuta thA, parantu na jAne Apako mere Upara kyoM itanI berahamI ho gii| mere durdaivakA hI prakopa hai| astu, aba paNDitajI ! Apase zapathapUrvaka kahatA hU~-usa dina hI Apake darzana karU~gA, jisa dina dharmakA mArmika svarUpa Apake samakSa rakha kara Apako santuSTa kara skuuNgaa| Aja Apa jo vAkya mere prati vyavahArameM lAye haiM taba Apako vApisa lene pdd'eNge|' ____ maiM isa taraha paNDitajIke Upara bahuta hI khinna huaa| sAtha hI yaha pratijJA kI ki kisI taraha jJAnArjana karanA Avazyaka hai| pratijJA to kara lI, parantu jJAnArjana karanekA koI bhI sAdhana na thaa| pAsameM na to dravya hI thA aura na kisI vidvAnkA samAgama hI thaa| kucha upAya nahIM sUjhatA thA, revAke taTapara sthita mRga jaisI dazA thii| revA nadIke taTapara eka bar3A bhArI parvata hai, vahA~ para asahAya eka mRgakA baccA khar3A huA hai, usake sAmane revA nadI hai aura parvata bhii| dAeM-bAe~ dAvAnalakI jvAlA dhadhaka rahI hai, pIche zikArI hAthameM dhanuSa-bANa lie mAraneko daur3a rahA hai| aisI hAlatameM vaha hariNakA zAvaka For Personal & Private Use Only

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seTha lakSmIcandrajI vicAra karatA hai ki kahA~ jAveM aura kyA kareM ? isI bAtako eka kavi ina zabdoMmeM vyakta karatA hai : 'purAre vApAre giriratidurArohazikharo girau savye'savye davadahanajvAlAvyatikaraH / dhanuHpANiH pazcAnmRgayutako dhAvati bhRzaM 19 kva yAmaH kiM kurmaH hariNazizurevaM vilpti||' usa samaya hamArI bhI ThIka yahI avasthA thI / kyA kareM, kucha bhI nirNaya nahIM kara ske| do yA tIna dina khuraImeM rahakara banapurayA aura vaidya AnandakizorajIkI icchAnusAra maiM mar3AvarA apanI mA~ke pAsa calA gyaa| rAstemeM tIna dina lage / lajjAvaza rAtriko ghara pahu~cA / seTha lakSmIcandrajI 1 mujhe AyA huA dekhakara mA~ bar3I prasanna huI / bolI-'beTA ! A gaye ?' maiMne kahA- hA~ mA~ ! A gayA / ' mA~ne upadeza diyA - 'beTA! Anandase raho, kyoM idhara-udhara bhaTakate ho| apanA maulika dharma pAlana karo aura kucha vyApAra karo, tumhAre kAkA samartha haiN| ve tumheM vyApArakI paddhati sikhA deNge|' maiM mA~kI zikSA sunatA rahA parantu jaise cikane ghar3emeM pAnI kA praveza nahIM hotA vaise hI mere Upara usa zikSAkA koI bhI asara nahIM huA / maiM tIna dina vahA~ rahA / pazcAt mA~kI AjJAse bamarAnA calA gyaa| yahA~ zrI seTha brajalAla, candrabhAna va zrI lakSmIcandrajI sAhaba rahate the tInoM bhAI dharmAtmA the| nirantara pUjA karanA, svAdhyAya karanA va Aye hue jainIko sahabhojana karAnA ApakA pratidinakA kAma thA / taba Apake caukAmeM pratidina 50 se kama jainI bhojana nahIM karate the| koI vidvAn va tyAgI Apake yahA~ sadA rahatA hI thA / mandira itanA sundara thA, mAno svargakA caityAlaya hI ho| jisa samaya tInoM bhAI pUjAke liye khar3e hote the, usa samaya aisA mAlUma hotA thA mAnoM iMdra hI svargase Aye hoN| tInoM bhAiyoMmeM paraspara rAma-lakSmaNakI taraha prema thA / mandirameM pUjA Adi mahotsava hote samaya caturtha kAlakA smaraNa ho AtA thaa| svAdhyAyameM tInoM bhAI barAbara tattvacarcA kara eka ghaNTA samaya lagAte the| sAtha hI anya zrotAgaNa bhI upasthita rahate the| ina tInoMmeM lakSmIcandrajI seTha prakharabuddhi the / Apako zAstra - pravacanakA eka prakArase vyasana hI thA / ApakI cittavRtti bhI nirantara paropakArameM rata rahatI thI | I For Personal & Private Use Only

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20 merI jIvanagAthA unhoMne mujhase kahA-'ApakA zubhAgamana kaisA huA ?' maiMne kahA - 'kyA kahU~ ? merI dazA atyanta karuNAmayI hai / usakA digdarzana karAnese Apake cittameM khinnatA hI bddh'egii| prANiyoMne jo arjana kiyA hai usakA phala kauna bhoge ? merI kathA sunanekI icchA chor3a diijiye| kucha jainadharmakA varNana kIjiye, jisase zAntikA lAbha ho / ' Apane eka ghaNTA AtmadharmakA samIcIna rItise vivecana kara mere khinna cittako santoSa lAbha karAyA / anantara pUchA- aba to apanI Atma-kahAnI sunA do| maiM kiMkarttavyavimUr3ha thA, ataH sArI bAteM na batA skaa| kevala jAnekI icchA jAhira kI / yaha suna zrI seTha lakSmIcandrajIne binA mA~ge hI dasa rupayA mujhe diye aura kahA Anandase jaaiye| sAtha hI yaha AzvAsana bhI diyA ki yadi kucha vyApAra karanekI icchA ho to sau yA do-saukI pU~jIbhI lagA deMgeM / pAThakagaNa, itanI choTI-sI rakamase kyA vyApAra hogA, aisI AzaMkA na kareM, kyoMki una dinoM do-saumeM bAraha mana ghI aura pA~ca mana kapar3A AtA thA / tathA eka rupayekA eka mana gehU~, savA mana canA, Der3ha mana juvArI aura do mana kodoM bikate the| usa samaya annAdikI vyagratA kisIko na thI / ghara-ghara dUdha aura ghIkA bharapUra saMgraha rahatA thA / rezandIgiri aura kuNDalapura maiM dasa rupayA lekara bamarAnAse mar3AvarA A gayA / pA~ca dina rahakara mA~ tathA strIkI anumatike binA hI kuNDalapurakI yAtrAke liye prasthAna kara diyA / merI yAtrA niruddezya thI / kyA karanA, kucha bhI nahIM samajhatA thA / 'he prabho ! Apa hI saMrakSaka haiM' aisA vicAratA huA mar3AvarAse calakara caudaha mIla barAyaThA nagarameM AyA / yahA~ jainiyoMke sATha ghara haiN| sundara uccasthAnapara jinendradevakA mandira hai / mandirake cAroM tarapha koTa hai| koTake bIcameM hI choTI-sI dharmazAlA hai / usImeM rAtriko Thahara gayA / yahA~ seTha kamalApatijI bahuta hI prakharabuddhike manuSya haiM / ApakA zAstrajJAna bahuta acchA hai| unhoMne mujhe bahuta AzvAsana diyA aura samajhAyA ki tuma yahA~ hI rho| maiM saba tarahase sahAyatA karU~gA / AjIvikAkI cintA mata kro| apanI mA~ aura patnIko bulA lo / sAtha hI yaha bhI kahA ki mere sahavAsase Apako zIghra hI jainadharmakA bodha ho jaaygaa| maiMne kahA - 'abhI zrI kuNDalapurakI yAtrAko jAtA hU~ / yAtrA karake A jAU~gA / ' seThajI sAhabane kahA- 'ApakI icchA, parantu niruddezya For Personal & Private Use Only

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rezandIgiri aura kuNDalapura 21 bhramaNa karanA acchA nahIM hai|' maiM unako dhanyavAda detA huA zrI siddhakSetra nainAgirike liye cala pdd'aa| mArgameM mahatI aTavI thI, jahA~ para vanake hiMsaka pazuoMkA saMcAra thaa| maiM ekAkI calatA jAtA thaa| koI sahAyI na thaa| kevala Ayukarma sahAyI thaa| calakara rurAvana phuNcaa| yahA~ bhI eka jainamandira hai| dasa ghara jainiyoMke haiN| rAtri bhara yahIM rhaa| prAtaHkAla zrI nainAgirike liye prasthAna kara diyA aura dinake dasa baje pahuMca gyaa| snAnAdise nivRtta ho zrI jinamandirake darzanake liye udyamI huaa| prathama to sarovarake darzana hue, jo atyanta ramya thaa| cAroM ora sArasa Adi pakSIgaNa zabda kara rahe the| cakavA Adi aneka prakArake pakSIgaNoM ke kalarava ho rahe the| kamaloMke phUloMse vaha aisA suzobhita thA, mAno gulAbakA bAga hI ho| sarovarakA ba~dhAna caMdela rAjAkA ba~dhAyA huA hai| isI parase parvatapara jAnekA mArga thaa| parvata bahuta unnata na thaa| dasa minaTa meM hI mukhya dvAra para pahu~ca gyaa| ___ yahA~ para eka atyanta manohara devIkA pratibimba dekhA, jise dekhakara prAcIna silAvaToMkI kara-kuzalatAkA anumAna sahajameM ho jAtA thaa| aisI anupama mUrti isa samayake zilpakAra nirmANa karanemeM samartha nhiiN| pazcAt mandiroMke bimboMkI bhaktipUrvaka pUjA kii| yaha vahI parvatarAja hai jahA~ zrI 1008 devAdhideva pArzvanAtha prabhukA samavasaraNa AyA thA aura varattAdi pA~ca RSirAjoMne nirvANa prApta kiyA thaa| rezandIgiri isIkA nAma hai| yahA~ para cAra yA pA~ca mandiroMko chor3a zeSa saba mandira choTe haiN| jinhoMne nirmANa karAye ve atyanta rucimAn the, jo mandira to mAmUlI banavAye, para pratiSThA karAnemeM pacAsoM hajAra rupaye kharca kara diye| yahA~ agahana sudI gyArahase pUrNimA taka melA bharatA hai| jinameM prAnta bharake jainiyoMkA samAroha hotA hai| dasa hajAra taka jainasamudAya ho jAtA hai| yaha sAdhAraNa melAkI bAta hai| rathake samaya to pacAsa hajAra takakI saMkhyA ekatrita ho jAtI hai| eka nAlA bhI hai jisameM sadA svaccha jala bahatA rahatA hai| cAroM tarapha saghana vana hai| eka dharmazAlA hai, jisameM pA~casau AdamI Thahara sakate haiN| yaha prAnta dharmazAlA banAnemeM dravya nahIM lgaataa| pratiSThAmeM lAkhoM rupaye vyaya ho jAte haiN| jo karAtA hai usake paccIsa hajAra rupayese kama kharca nahIM hote| Agantuka mahAzayoMke ATha rupayA prati AdamIke hisAbase cAra lAkha ho jAte haiN| parantu ina logoMkI dRSTi dharmazAlAke nirmANa For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA karAnekI ora nahIM jaatii| melA yA pratiSThAke samaya yAtrI apane-apane gharase DerA yA jhuMgI Adi lAte haiM aura unhIMmeM nivAsakara puNyakA saMcaya karate haiN| yahA~ para agahana mAsameM itanI saradI par3atI hai ki pAnI jama jAtA hai| prAtaHkAla ka~paka~pI lagane lagatI hai| ye saba kaSTa sahakara bhI hajAroM nara-nArI dharmasAdhana karanemeM kAyaratA nahIM krte| aisA nirmala sthAna prAyaH bhAgyase hI milatA hai| ___ yahA~ maiM tIna dina rhaa| citta jAneko nahIM cAhatA thaa| cittameM yahI AtA thA ki 'sarva vikalpoMko tyAgo aura dharma-sAdhana kro| parantu sAdhanoMke abhAvameM daridroMke manorathoMke samAna kucha na kara skaa| cAra dinake bAda zrIatizayakSetra kuNDalapurake liye prasthAna kiyaa| prasthAnake samaya A~khoMmeM azrudhArA A gii| calanemeM gatikA vega na thA, pIche-pIche dekhatA jAtA thA aura Age-Age calA jAtA thaa| balAtkAra jAnA hI pdd'aa| sAyaMkAla hote-hote eka gA~vameM pahu~ca gyaa| thakAvaTake kAraNa eka ahIrake gharameM Thahara gyaa| usane rAtriko Aga jalAI aura kahA 'bhojana banA lo| mere yahA~ bhUkhe par3e rahanA acchA nhiiN| Apa to bhUkhe raho aura hama loga bhojana kara leM, yaha acchA nahIM lgtaa| maiMne kahA-'bhaiyA ! maiM rAtriko bhojana nahIM krtaa| usane kahA-'acchA, bhaiMsakA dUdha hI pI lo, jisase mujhe tasallI ho jaay| maiMne kahA-'maiM pAnIke sivA aura kucha nahIM letaa|' vaha bahuta duHkhI huaa| strIne to yahA~ taka kahA-'bhalA, jisake daravAje para mehamAna bhUkhA par3A rahe usako kahA~ taka santoSa hogaa|' maiMne kahA-'mA~ jI ! lAcAra huuN|' taba usa gRhiNIne kahA-'prAtaHkAla bhojana karake jAnA, anyathA Apa dUsare sthAnapara jAkara soveM / ' maiMne kahA-'aba ApakA sundara ghara pAkara kahA~ jAU~ ? prAtaHkAla hone para ApakI AjJAkA pAlana hogaa|' kisI prakAra unheM santoSa karAke so gyaa| bAhara dAlAnameM soyA thA, ataH prAtaHkAla mAlikake binA pUche hI 5 baje cala diyA aura 10 mIla calakara eka grAmameM Thahara gyaa| vahIM para zrIjinAlayake darzanakara pazcAt bhojana kiyA aura sAMyakAla phira 10 mIla calakara eka grAmameM rAtriko so gayA, pazcAt prAtaHkAla vahA~se cala diyaa| isI prakAra mArgako taya karatA huA tIna dina bAda kuNDalapura pahu~ca gyaa| avarNanIya kSetra hai| yahA~ para kaI sarovara tathA Amake bagIce haiN| eka sarovara atyanta sundara hai| usake taTapara aneka For Personal & Private Use Only

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rezaMdIgiri aura kuNDalapura jainamandira gaganacumbI zikharoMse suzobhita evaM cAroM tarapha Amake vRkSoMse veSTita bhavya puruSoMke manako vizuddha pariNAmoMke kAraNa bana rahe haiN| unake darzana kara citta atyanta prasanna huA / pratimAoMke darzana karanese jo Ananda hotA hai use prAyaH saba hI Astikajana loga jAnate haiM aura nitya prati usakA anubhava bhI karate haiN| anantara parvatake Upara zrI mahAvIrasvAmIke padmAsana pratibimbako dekhakara to sAkSAt zrIvIradarzanakA hI Ananda A gyaa| aisI subhaga padmAsana pratimA maiMne to Aja taka nahIM dekhI ! tIna dina isa kSetrapara rahA aura tInoM hI dina zrIvIraprabhuke darzana kiye| maiMne vIraprabhuse jo prArthanA kI thI, use Ajake zabdoMmeM nimna prakAra vyakta kara sakate haiM - 'he prabho ! yadyapi Apa vItarAga sarvajJa haiM, saba jAnate haiM, parantu vItarAga honese cAhe ApakA bhakta ho cAhe bhakta na ho, usa para Apako na rAga hotA hai aura na dveSa / jo jIva Apake guNoMmeM anurAgI hai unameM svayameva zubha pariNAmoMkA saMcAra ho jAtA hai aura ve pariNAma hI puNyabandhameM kAraNa ho jAte haiN|' taduktam 23 ' iti stutiM deva ! vidhAya dainyAd varaM na yAce tvamupekSako'si / chAyA taruM saMzrayataH svataH syAt kazchAyayA yAcitayAtmalAbhaH / ' yaha zloka dhanaJjaya seThane zrIAdinAtha prabhuke stavanake antameM kahA hai / isa prakAra ApakA stavana kara he deva ! maiM dInatAse kucha varakI yAcanA nahIM karatA; kyoMki Apa upekSaka haiM / 'rAgadveSayorapraNidhAnamupekSA' yaha upekSA jisake ho usako upekSaka kahate haiN| zrI bhagavAn upekSaka haiM, kyoMki unake rAga-dveSa nahIM haiN| jaba yaha bAta hai taba vicAro, jinake rAga-dveSa nahIM unakI apane bhaktameM bhalAI karanekI buddhi hI nahIM ho sakatI / vaha deveMge hI kyA ? phira yaha prazna ho sakatA hai ki unakI bhakti karanese kyA lAbha ? usakA uttara yaha hai ki jo manuSya chAyAdAra vRkSake nIce baiTha gayA, usako isakI AvazyakatA nahIM ki vRkSase yAcanA kare - hameM chAyA dIjiye / vaha to svayaM hI vRkSake nIce baiThane se chAyAkA lAbha le rahA hai / evaM jo rucipUrvaka zrI arihantadevake guNoMkA smaraNa karatA hai usake manda kaSAya honese svayaM zubhopayoga hotA hai aura usake prabhAvase svayaM zAntikA lAbha hone lagatA hai / aisA nimittanaimittika saMbaMdha bana rahA hai| parantu vyavahAra aisA hotA hai jo vRkSakI chAyA / vAstavameM chAyA to vRkSakI nahIM, sUryakI kiraNoMkA vRkSake dvArA rodha honese vRkSatalameM svayaMmeva chAyA For Personal & Private Use Only

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24 merI jIvanagAthA 1 ho jAtI hai| evaM zrI bhagavAnke guNoMkA rucipUrvaka smaraNa karanese svayaMmeva jIvoMke zubha pariNAmoMkI utpatti hotI hai, phira bhI vyavahArameM aisA kathana hotA hai ki bhagavAnne zubha pariNAma kara diye / bhagavAnko patitapAvana kahate haiM arthAt jo pApiyoMkA uddhAra kareM unakA nAma patitapAvana hai .... yaha kathana bhI nimittakAraNakI apekSA hai / nimittakAraNoMmeM bhI udAsIna nimitta hai preraka nahIM, jaise machalI gamana kare to jala sahakArI kAraNa ho jAtA hai / evaM jo jIva patita hai vaha yadi zubha pariNAma kare to bhagavAn nimitta haiN| yadi vaha zubha pariNAma na kare to nimitta nahIM / vastukI maryAdA yahI hai parantu upacArase kathana-zailI nAnAprakArakI hai / 'yathA kuladIpako'yaM bAlakaH, mANavakaH siMhaH / vizeSa kahA~ taka likheM ? AtmAkI acintya zakti hai / vaha mohakarmake nimittase vikAsako prApta nahIM hotii| mohakarmake udayameM yaha jIva nAnA prakArakI kalpanAe~ karatA hai| yadyapi ve kalpanAe~ vartamAna paryAyakI apekSA to sat haiM parantu karmodayake binA unakA astitva nahIM, ataH asat haiM / pudgala dravyakI bhI acintya zakti hai| yahI kAraNa hai ki vaha AtmA ke anantajJAnAdi guNoMko prakaTa nahIM hone detA aura isImeM kArtikeya svAmIne svAmikArtikeyAnuprekSAmeM likhA hai ki "kApi apuvvA dissai puggaladavvassa erisI sattI / kevalaNANasahAvo viNAsido jAi jIvassa / " 'arthAt pudgaladravyameM koI apUrva zakti hai jisase ki jIvakA svabhAvabhUta kevalajJAna bhI tirohita ho jAtA hai|' yaha bAta asatya nahIM / jaba AtmA madirApAna karatA hai taba usake jJAnAdi guNa vikRta hote pratyakSa dekhe jAte haiM / madirA pudgaladravya hI to hai / astu, yadyapi jo Apake guNoMkA anurAgI hai vaha puNyabandha nahIM cAhatA, kyoMki puNyabandha saMsArakA hI to kAraNa hai, ataH jJAnI jIva, saMsArakA kAraNa jo bhAva hai use upAdeya nahIM mAnatA / cAritramohake udayameM jJAnI jIvake rAgAdika bhAva hote haiM, parantu unameM kartRtvabuddhi nahIM / tathAhi 'kartRtvaM na svabhAvo'sya cito vedayitRtvavat / ajJAnAdeva kartAyaM tadabhAvAdakArakaH / / ' 'jisa prakAra ki bhoktApana AtmAkA svabhAva nahIM hai usI prakAra kartApana bhI AtmAkA svabhAva nahIM hai / ajJAnase hI yaha AtmA kartA banatA hai / For Personal & Private Use Only

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ataH ajJAnake abhAvameM akartA hI hai / ' ajJAnI jIva bhaktiko hI sarvasva mAna tallIna ho jAte haiM, kyoMki usase Age unheM sUjhatA hI nahIM / parantu jJAnI jIva jaba zreNi car3haneko samartha nahIM hotA taba anyatra - jo mokSamArgake pAtra nahIM unameM, rAga na ho isa bhAvase tathA tIvra rAgajvarake apagamakI bhAvanAse zrI arihantAdi devakI bhakti karatA hai| zrI arihantake guNoMmeM anurAga honA yahI to bhakti hai / arihantake guNa haiM - vItarAgatA, sarvajJatA tathA mokSamArgakA netApanA / inameM anurAga honese kauna-sA viSaya puSTa huA ? yadi ina guNoMmeM prema huA to unhIMkI prAptike artha to prayAsa hai| samyagdarzana honeke bAda cAritramohakA cAhe tIvra udaya ho cAhe manda udaya ho, usakI jo pravRtti hotI hai usameM kartRtva buddhi nahIM rahatI / ataeva zrI daulatarAmajI ne eka bhajanameM likhA hai ki 25 'je bhava- hetu abudhike tasa karata bandhakI chaTAchaTI / ' abhiprAyake binA jo kriyA hotI hai vaha bandhakI janaka nahIM / yadi abhiprAyake abhAva meM bhI kriyA bandhajanaka hone lage taba yathAkhyAtacAritra hokara bhI abandha nahI ho sakatA, ataH yaha siddha huA ki kaSAyake sadbhAvameM hI kriyA bandhakI utpAdaka hai| isaliye prathama to hameM anAtmIya padArthoMmeM jo AtmIyatAkA abhiprAya hai aura jisake sadbhAvameM hamArA jJAna tathA cAritra mithyA ho rahA hai use dUra karanekA prayAsa karanA caahie| usa viparIta abhiprAyake abhAva meM AtmAkI jo avasthA hotI hai vaha roga jAneke bAda rogIke jo halkApana AtA hai tatsadRza ho jAtI hai / athavA bhArApagamake bAda jo dazA bhAravAhIkI hotI hai vahI mithyA abhiprAyake jAneke bAda AtmAkI ho jAtI hai aura usa samaya usake anumApaka prazama, saMvega, anukampA evaM Astikya Adi guNoM kA vikAsa AtmAmeM svayameva ho jAtA hai / rAmaTeka | zrI kuNDalapurase yAtrA karaneke pazcAt zrI rAmaTekake vAste prayANa kiyA / hiMDoriyA AyA / yahA~ tAlAba para prAcIna kAlakA eka jinabimba hai| yahA~ para koI jainI nahIM / yahA~se calakara damoha AyA, yahA~ para 200 ghara jainiyoMke bar3e-bar3e dhanADhya haiM / mandiroMkI racanA ati sudRr3ha aura sundara hai / mUrti samudAya puSkala hai| aneka mandira haiN| merA kisIse paricaya na thA aura na karanekA prayAsa hI kiyA, kyoMki jainadharmakA kucha vizeSa jJAna na thA aura na For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 26 tyAgI hI thA, jo kisIse kucha khtaa| ataH do dina yahA~ nivAsa kara jabalapurakI sar3aka dvArA jabalapurako prayANa kara diyaa| mArgameM aneka jaina mandiroMke darzana kiye| cAra dinameM jabalapura pahu~ca gyaa| yahA~ke jaina mandiroMkI avarNanIya zobhA dekhakara jo pramoda huA use kahane meM asamartha huuN| yahA~se rAmaTekake lie cala diyaa| 6 dinameM sivanI phuNcaa| vahA~ bhI mandiroMke darzana kiye| darzana karanese mArgakA zrama ekadama calA gyaa| 2 dina bAda zrI rAmaTekake lie cala diyaa| kaI divasoMke bAda rAmaTeka kSetrapara pahu~ca gyaa| yahA~ke mandiroMkI zobhA avarNanIya hai| yahA~ para zrI zAntinAtha svAmIke darzana kara bahuta Ananda huaa| yaha sthAna ati ramaNIya hai| grAmase kSetra 3 phAMga hogaa| nirjana sthAna hai| yahA~se cAroM tarapha bastI nhiiN| 2 mIla para eka parvata hai jahA~ zrI rAmacandrajI mahArAjakA maMdira hai| vahA~ para maiM nahIM gyaa| jainamandiroMke pAsa jo dharmazAlA thI usameM nivAsa kara liyaa| kSetrapara pujArI, mAlI, jamAdAra, munIma Adi karmacArI the| mandiroMkI svacchatA para karmacArIgaNoMkA pUrNa dhyAna thaa| ye saba sAdhana yahA~ para acche haiM, koSa bhI kSetrakA acchA hai, dharmazAlA Adi kA prabandha uttama hai| parantu jisase yAtriyoMko AtmalAbha ho usakA sAdhana kucha nhiiN| usa samaya mere manameM jo AyA use kucha vistArake sAtha Aja isa prakAra kaha sakate haiM aise kSetroMpara to AvazyakatA eka vidvAnkI thI, jo pratidina zAstra-pravacana karatA aura logoMko maulika jaina siddhAMtakA avabodha kraataa| jo janatA yahA~ para nivAsa karatI hai use yaha bodha ho jAtA ki jainadharma ise kahate haiN| hama loga meleke avasara para hajAroM rupaye vyaya kara dete haiM, parantu logoMko yaha patA nahIM calatA ki melA karanekA uddezya kyA hai ? samayakI balavattA hai jo hama loga bAhya kAryoMmeM dravyakA vyayakara hI apaneko kRtArtha mAna lete haiN| mandirake cA~dIke kivAr3oMkI jor3I, cA~dIkI caukI, cA~dIkA ratha, suvarNake camara, cA~dIkI pAlakI Adi banavAnemeM hI vyaya karanA puNya samajhate haiN| jaba ina cA~dIke sAmAnako anya loga dekhate haiM taba yahI anumAna karate haiM ki jainI loga bar3e dhanADhya haiM, kintu yaha nahIM samajhate ki jisa dharmakA yaha pAlana karanevAle haiM usa dharmakA marma kyA hai ? yadi unako yaha loga samajha jAveM to anayAsa hI jainadharmase prema karane lgeN| zrI amRtacandrasUrine to prabhAvanAkA yaha lakSaNa likhA hai ki For Personal & Private Use Only

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rAmaTeka 'AtmA prabhAvanIyo ratnatrayatejasA satatameva / dAnatapojinapUjAvidyAtizayairjinadharmaH / / ' vAstavika prabhAvanA to yaha hai ki apanI pariNati, jo anAdi kAlase parako AtmIya mAna kaluSita ho rahI hai tathA parameM nijatvakA avabodha kara viparyaya jJAnavAlI ho rahI hai evaM parapadArthoM meM rAgadveSa kara mithyAcAritramayI ho rahI hai, use AtmIya zraddhAna-jJAna-cAritrake dvArA aisI nirmala banAnekA prayatna kiyA jAya, jisase itara dharmAvalambiyoMke hRdayameM svayameva samA jAve ki dharma to yaha vastu hai| isIko nizcaya prabhAvanA kahate haiN| athavA aisA dAna karo, jisase sAdhAraNa logoMkA bhI upakAra ho| aise vidyAlaya kholo, jinase yathAzakti sabako jJAna-lAbha ho| aise auSadhAlaya kholo, jinameM zuddha auSadhoMkA bhaNDAra ho| aise bhojanAlaya kholo, jinase zuddha bhojanakA prabandha ho / anAthoMko bhojana do| anukampAse prANImAtrako dAnakA niSedha nhiiN| abhayadAnAdi dekara prANiyoMko nirbhaya banA do| aisA tapa karo, jise dekhakara kaTarase kaTTara virodhiyoMkI tapameM zraddhA ho jaave| zrI jinendradevakI aise ThATabATase pUjA karo, jo nAstikoMke cittameM bhI Astikya bhAvoMkA saMcAra kre| isakA nAma vyavahArameM prabhAvanA hai| zrI samantabhadra svAmIne bhI kahA hai ki 'ajJAnatimiravyAptimapAkRtya yathAyatham / jinazAsanamAhAtmyaprakAzaH syaatprbhaavnaa||' ajJAnarUpI andhakArakI vyAptise jagat Acchanna hai, use yathAzakti dUrakara jinazAsanake mAhAtmyakA prakAza karanA, isIkA nAma saccI prabhAvanA hai| saMsArameM anAdi kAlase mohake vazIbhUta hokara prANiyoMne nAnA prakArake dharmoMkA pracAra kara rakhA hai| kahA~ taka isakA varNana kiyA jAya ? jIvabadha karake bhI loga use dharma mAnane lge| jise acche-acche loga puSTa karate haiM aura pramANa dete haiM ki zAstroMmeM likhA hai| use yahA~ likhakara maiM Apa logoMkA samaya nahIM lenA caahtaa| saMsArameM jo mithyA pracAra phaila rahA hai usameM mUla kAraNa rAgadveSakI malinatAse jo kucha likhA gayA vaha sAhitya hai| vahI pustakeM kAlAntarameM dharmazAstrake rUpameM mAnI jAne lgiiN| loga to anAdikAlase mithyAtvake udayameM zarIrako hI AtmA mAnate haiN| jinako apanA hI bodha nahIM ve parako kyA jAneM ? jaba apanA parAyA jJAna nahIM taba kaisA samyagdRSTi ? yahI zrI samayasArameM likhA hai For Personal & Private Use Only

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28 merI jIvanagAthA 'paramANumittayaM pi hu rAgAdINaM du vijjade jassa ! vi so jANadi appANayaM du savvAgamadharo vi / / ' jo sarvAgamako jAnanevAlA hai, rAgAdikoMkA aMzamAtra bhI yadi usake vidyamAna hai to vaha AtmAko nahIM jAnatA hai, jo AtmAko nahIM jAnatA hai vaha jIva aura ajIvako nahIM jAnatA, jo jIva- ajIvako nahIM jAnatA vaha samyagdRSTi kaise ho sakatA hai ? kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki AgamAbhyAsa hI jIvAdikoMke jAnanemeM mukhya kAraNa hai aura AgamAbhAsakA abhyAsa hI jIvAdikako anyathA jAnanemeM kAraNa hai / jinako Atma-kalyANakI lAlasA hai ve Aptakathita AgamakA abhyAsa kreN| vizeSa kahA~ taka likheM ? kSetroMpara jJAnake sAdhana kucha nahIM, kevala rupaye ikaTThe karaneke sAdhana haiM / kalpanA karo, yaha dhana yadi ekatrita hotA rahe aura vyaya na ho to antameM nahIMke tulya huA / astu, isa kathAse kyA lAbha ? yahA~ cAra dina rahA / muktAgiri cAra dina bAda yahA~se cala diyA, bIcameM kAmaThIke jaina mandiroMke darzana karatA huA nAgapura pahu~cA / yahA~ para aneka jaina mandira haiN| unameM kitane hI bundelakhaNDase Aye hue paravAroMke haiN| ye sarva terApanthI AmnAyavAle haiN| mandiroMke pAsa eka dharmazAlA hai / aneka jinAlaya dakSiNavAloMke bhI haiM jo ki bIsapanthI AmnAyake haiM / yahA~ para rAmabhAU pAMDe eka yogya puruSa the| Apa bIsapanthI AmnAyake bhaTTArakake cele the| parantu ApakA prema tattvacarcAse thA, ata: cAhe terApanthI AmnAyakA vidvAn ho, cAhe bIsapanthI AmnAyakA, samAnabhAvase Apa una vidvAnoMkA Adara karate the / yahA~ do yA tIna dina rahakara maiMne amarAvatIko prasthAna kara diyaa| bIcameM vardhA milaa| yahA~ bhI jinamandiroMkA samudAya hai, unake darzana kiye / kaI divasoMke bAda amarAvatI pahu~cA / yahA~ para bhI bundelakhaNDase Aye hue paravAroMke aneka ghara haiM jo ki terApantha AmnAyake mAnanevAle haiN| mandiroMke pAsa eka jainadharmazAlA hai / yahA~ para zrI siMghaI pannAlAlajI rahate the| unake yahA~ niyama thA ki jo yAtrIgaNa bAharase Ate the, una sabako bhojana karAye binA nahIM jAne dete the / yahA~ para unake mAmA nandalAlajI the, jo bahuta 1 For Personal & Private Use Only

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karmacakra 29 hI nipuNa the| ve makAna, grAma AdikI dalAlI karate the| atyanta udAra the| hajAroM rUpaye mAsika arjana karate the| kRpaNatAkA to unake pAsa aMza hI nahIM thaa| astu, yahA~se zrI siddhakSetra muktAgirike lie utsukatApUrvaka cala pdd'aa| bIcameM elacapura milaa| yahA~ jinamandiroMke darzana kara dUsare dina muktAgiri pahu~ca gyaa| kSetrakI zobhA avarNanIya hai| sarvataH vanoMse veSTita parvata haiN| parvatake Upara aneka jinAlaya haiN| nIce bhI kaI mandira aura dharmazAlAe~ haiN| tapobhUmi hai| parantu aba to na vahA~ koI tyAgI hai na sAdhu / jo anya kSetroMkI vyavasthA hai vahI vyavasthA yahA~kI hai| sAnanda vandanA kii| karma-cakra ___ pAsameM pacAsa rupaye mAtra raha gaye / kapar3e vivarNa ho gye| zarIrameM khAja ho gii| eka dina bAda jvara Ane lgaa| sahAyI koI nhiiN| kevala daiva hI sahAyI thaa| kyA karU~ ? kucha samajhameM nahIM AtA thA-karttavyavimUr3ha ho gyaa| kahA~ jAU~ ? yaha bhI nizcaya nahIM kara skaa| kisase apanI vyathA kahU~ ? yaha bhI samajhameM nahIM aayaa| kahatA bhI to sunanevAlA kauna thA ? khinna hokara par3a gyaa| rAtriko svapna AyA--'daHkha karanese kyA lAbha ?' koI kahatA hai-'girinArako cale jaao|' 'kaise jAveM ? sAdhana to kucha hai nahIM... maiMne khaa| vahI uttara milA-'nArakI jIvoMkI apekSA to acche ho|' prAtaHkAla huaa| zrI siddhakSetrakI vandanA kara vaitUla nagarake liye cala diyaa| tIna koza calakara eka hATa milii| vahA~ eka sthAna para pattekA juA ho rahA thaa| 1) ke 5) milate the| hamane vicAra kiyA-'calo 5) lagA do 25) mila jAveMge, phira Anandase relameM baiThakara zrI girinArakI yAtrA sahajameM ho jaavegii| ityaadi| 1) meM 5) mileMge isa lobhase 3) lagA diye| pattA hamArA nahIM aayaa| 3) cale gye| aba bace do rupayA so vicAra kiyA ki aba galatI na karo, anyathA ApattimeM pha~sa jaaoge| manako saMtoSakara vahA~se cala diyaa| kisI taraha kaSToMko sahate hue vaitUla phuNce| una dinoM anna sastA thaa| do paisemeM '|| javArIkA ATA mila jAtA thaa| usakI roTI khAte hue mArga taya karate the| jaba baitUla pahuMce, taba grAmake bAhara sar3akapara kulI loga kAma kara rahe the| hamane vicAra kiyA ki yadi hama bhI isa tarahakA kAma kareM to hameM bhI kucha mila jAyA kregaa| meTase kahA-'bhAI hamako bhI lagA lo|' dayAlu thA, usane hamako eka geMtI de dI aura For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 30 kahA ki 'miTTI khodakara ina auratoMkI TokanImeM bharate aao| tIna Ane zAmako mila jaaveNge| maiMne miTTI khodanA Arambha kiyA aura eka TokanI kisI tarahase bhara kara uThA dI, dUsarI TokanI nahIM bhara skaa| antameM geMtIko vahIM paTaka kara rotA haA Age cala diyaa| meTane dayA kara bulAyA-'rote kyoM ho ? miTTIko Dhoo, do AnA mila jaaveNge|' garaja vaha bhI na bana par3A, taba meTane kahA-'ApakI icchA so kro| maiMne kahA-'janAba, bandagI, jAtA huuN|' usane kahA-'jAiye, yahA~ to haTTe-kaTTe puruSoMkA kAma hai|' ___ usa samaya apane bhAgyake guNagAna karatA huA Age bddh'aa| kucha dina bAda aise sthAna para pahuMcA, jahA~ para jinAlaya thaa| jinAlayameM zrI jinendradevake darzana kiye| pazcAt yahA~se gajapanthAke lie prasthAna kara diyA aura zrI gajapanthA pahu~ca bhI gyaa| mArgameM kaise-kaise kaSTa uThAye unakA isIse anumAna kara lo ki jo jvara eka dina bAda AtA thA vaha aba do dina bAda Ane lgaa| isako hamAre dezameM tijArI kahate haiN| usameM itanI ThaNDa lagatI hai ki cAra sor3aroMse bhI nahIM jaatii| para pAsameM eka bhI nahIM thii| sAthameM pakanU~ khAja ho gaI, zarIra kRza ho gyaa| itanA hone para bhI pratidina 20 mIla calanA aura khAneko do paisekA aattaa| vaha bhI javArIkA aura kabhI bAjarekA aura vaha bhI binA dAla zAkakA / kevala namakakI kaMkarI zAka thii| ghI kyA kahalAtA hai ? kauna jAne, usake do mAsase darzana bhI na hue the| do mAsase dAlakA bhI darzana na thaa| kisI dina rukhI roTI banAkara rakkhI aura khAnekI ceSTA kI ki tijArI mahArAnIne darzana dekara kahA-'so jAo, anadhikAra ceSTA na karo, abhI tumhAre pApakarmakA udaya hai, samatAse sahana kro|' pApake udayakI parAkASThAkA udaya yadi dekhA to maiMne dekhaa| eka dinakI bAta hai-saghana jaMgalameM, jahA~ para manuSyoMkA saMcAra na thA, eka chAyAdAra vRkSake nIce baiTha gyaa| vahIM bAjareke cUnakI liTTI lagAI, khAkara so gyaa| nidrA bhaMga huI, calaneko udyamI huA, itanemeM bhayaMkara jvara A gyaa| behoza par3a gyaa| rAtrike nau baje hoza aayaa| bhayAnaka vanameM thaa| sudha-budha bhula gyaa| rAtri bhara bhayabhIta avasthAmeM rhaa| kisI taraha prAtaHkAla huaa| zrI bhagavAnkA smaraNa kara mArgameM aneka kaSToMkI anubhUti karatA huA, zrI gajapanthAjImeM pahu~ca gayA aura Anandase dharmazAlA meM Thahara gyaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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gajapanthAse bambaI 31 gajapanthAse bambaI yahIM para eka AravIke seTha Thahare the| prAtaHkAla unake sAtha parvatakI vandanAko calA gyaa| Anandase yAtrA samApta huii| dharmakI carcA bhI acchI tarahase huii| Apane kahA-'kahA~ jAoge ?' maiMne kahA-'zrI girinArajIkI yAtrAko jaauuNgaa|' kaise jAoge ?' paidala jaauuNgaa|' unhoMne mere zarIrakI avasthA dekhakara bahuta hI dayAbhAvase kahA-'tumhArA zarIra isa yogya nahIM' maiMne kahA-'zarIra to nazvara hai eka dina jAvegA hI kucha dharmakA kArya isase liyA jaave|' vaha ha~sa par3e aura bole-'abhI bAlaka ho, 'zarIramAdyaM khalu dharmasAdhanam zarIra dharmasAdhanakA Adya kAraNa hai, ataH isako dharmasAdhanake lie surakSita rakhanA caahie| maiMne kahA-'rakhanese kyA hotA hai ? bhAvanA ho taba to yaha bAhya kAraNa ho sakatA hai| isake binA yaha kisa kAmakA ?' parantu vaha to anubhavI the, ha~sa gaye, bole-'acchA isa viSayameM phira bAtacIta hogI, aba to caleM, bhojana kareM, Aja Apako mere hI DeremeM bhojana karanA hogaa| maiMne bAhyase to jaisA logoMkA vyavahAra hotA hai vaisA hI unake sAtha kiyA, para antaraMgase bhojana karanA iSTa thaa| sthAnapara Akara unake yahA~ Anandase bhojana kiyaa| tIna mAsameM mArgake khedase khinna thA tathA jabase mA~ aura strIko chor3A, mar3AvarAse lekara mArgameM Aja vaisA bhojana kiyaa| daridrako nidhi milanemeM jitanA harSa hotA hai usase bhI adhika mujhe bhojana karanemeM huaa| bhojanake anantara vaha mandirake bhaNDArameM dravya deneke lie gye| pA~ca rupaye munImako dekara unhoMne jaba rasIda lI taba maiM bhI vahIM baiThA thaa| mere pAsa kevala eka AnA thA aura vaha isalie baca gayA thA ki Ajake dina AravIke seThake yahA~ bhojana kiyA thaa| maiMne vicAra kiyA thA ki yadi Aja apanA nijakA bhojana karatA to yaha eka AnA kharca ho jAtA aura aisA madhura bhojana bhI nahIM milatA, ataH ise bhaNDArameM de denA acchA hai| nidAna, maiMne vaha eka AnA munImako de diyaa| munImane lene meM saMkoca kiyaa| seThajI bhI ha~sa par3e aura maiM bhI saMkocavaza lajjita ho gayA, parantu maiMne antaraMgase diyA thA, ataH usa eka AnAke dAnane merA jIvana palaTa diyaa| seThajI kapar3A kharIdane bambaI jA rahe the| AravImeM unakI dukAna thii| unhoMne mujhase kahA-'bambaI calo, vahA~se girinArajI cale jaanaa|' maiMne kahA-'maiM to paidala yAtrA kruuNgaa| yadyapi sAdhana kucha bhI na thA-sAdhanake nAma para eka For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA paisA bhI pAsa na thA, phira bhI apanI daridra avasthA vacanoM dvArA seThake sAmane vyakta na hone dI-manameM yAcanAkA bhAva nahIM aayaa| seThajIko mere Upara antaraMgase prema ho gyaa| premake sAtha hI mere prati dayAkI bhAvanA bhI ho gii| bole 'tuma Agraha mata karo, hamAre sAtha bambaI calo, hama Apake hitaiSI haiN| unake Agraha karane para maiMne bhI unhIMke sAtha bambaIke lie prasthAna kara diyA / nAsika hotA huA rAtrike nau baje bambaIkI sTezanapara pahu~cA / rozanI AdikI pracuratA dekhakara AzcaryameM par3a gyaa| yaha cintA huI ki pAsameM to paisA nahIM, kyA karU~gA? nAnA vikalpoMke jAlameM par3a gayA, kucha bhI nizcita na kara skaa| seThajIke sAtha ghor3A-gAr3ImeM baiThakara jahA~ seTha sAhaba Thahare usI makAnameM Thahara gayA / makAna kyA thA, svargakA eka khaNDa thaa| dekhakara Anandake badale kheda-sAgarameM DUba gyaa| kyA karU~ ? kucha bhI nizcaya na kara skaa| rAtri bhara nIMda nahIM aaii| prAtaH zaucAdi kriyAse nivRtta hokara baiThA thA ki seThajIne kahA-'calo mandira caleM aura ApakA jo bhI sAmAna ho vaha bhI lete cleN| vahIM mandirake nIce dharmazAlA meM Thahara jaanaa| maiMne khaa-'acchaa|' sAmAna lekara mandira gayA, nIce dharmazAlAmeM sAmAna rakhakara Upara darzana karane lgaa| lajjAke sAtha darzana kiye, kyoMki zarIra kSINa thaa| vastra malina the| ceharA bImArIke kAraNa vikRta thA / zIghra darzanakara eka pustaka uThA lI aura dharmazAlAmeM svAdhyAya karane lgaa| seThajI ATha Ane dekara cale gye| maiM kiMkartavyavimUr3hakI taraha svAdhyAya karane lgaa| itanemeM hI eka bAbA gurudayAlasiMha, jo khurajAke rahanevAle the, mere pAsa Aye aura pUchane lage-'kahA~se Aye ho aura bambaI Akara kyA karoMge ?' mujhase kucha nahIM kahA gayA, pratyuta gadgada ho gyaa| zrIyuta bAbA gurudayAlasiMhajIne kahA-'hama Adha ghaMTA bAda AveMge tuma yahIM milanA / ' maiM zAntipUrvaka svAdhyAya karane lgaa| unakI amRtamayI vANIse itanI tRpti huI ki saba duHkha bhUla gyaa| Adha ghaMTAke bAda bAbAjI A gaye aura do dhotI, do jor3e dupaTTe, rasoIke saba bartana, ATha dinakA bhojanakA sAmAna, sigar3I, koyalA tathA dasa rupayA nakada dekara bole-'Anandase bhojana banAo, koI cintA na karanA, hama tumhArI saba tarahase rakSA kreNge| azubhakarmake vipAkameM manuSyoMko aneka vipattiyoMkA sAmanA karanA par3atA hai aura jaba zubha karmakA vipAka AtA hai taba anAyAsa jIvoMko sukha-sAmagrIkA lAbha ho jAtA hai| koI na kartA hai na hartA hai, dekho, hama For Personal & Private Use Only

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vidyAdhyayanakA suyoga khurajAke nivAsI hai| AjIvikAke nimitta bambaImeM rahate haiN| dalAlI karate haiM, tumheM mandirameM dekha svayameva hamAre yaha pariNAma ho gaye ki isa jIvakI rakSA karanI cAhiye / Apa na to hamAre sambandhI haiN| aura na hama tumako jAnate hI haiM tumhAre AcArAdise bhI abhijJa nahIM haiM phira bhI hamAre pariNAmoMmeM tumhArI rakSAke bhAva ho gye| isase aba tumheM saba tarahakI cintA chor3a denI cAhie tathA Upara bhI jinendradevake pratidina darzanAdikara svAdhyAyameM upayoga lagAnA caahiye| tumhArI jo AvazyakatA hogI hama usakI pUrti kreNge|' ityAdi vAkyoM dvArA mujhe santoSa karAke cale gye| vidyAdhyayanakA suyoga maiMne Anandase bhojana kiyaa| kaI dinase cintAke kAraNa nidrA nahIM AI thI, ataH bhojana karaneke anantara so gyaa| tIna ghaNTe bAda nidrA bhaMga huI, mukha mArjana kara baiThA hI thA ki itanemeM bAbA gurudayAlajI A gaye aura 100 kApiyA~ dekara kaha gaye ki inheM bAjArameM jAkara pherImeM beca aanaa| chaha Anese kama meM na denaa| yaha pUrNa ho jAne para maiM aura lA duuNgaa| una kApiyoMmeM rezama Adi kapar3oMke namUne vilAyatase Ate the| maiM zAmako bAjArameM gayA aura eka hI dinameM bIsa kApI beca aayaa| kahanekA yaha tAtparya hai ki cha: dinameM saba kApiyA~ bika gaI aura unakI bikrIke mere pAsa 31 / =) ho gye| aba maiM ekadama nizcinta ho gyaa| yahA~ para mandirameM eka jaina pAThazAlA thii| jisameM zrI jIvArAma zAstrI gujarAtI adhyApaka the (ve saMskRtake praur3ha vidvAn the| 30) mAsika para 2 ghaMTA par3hAne Ate the| sAthameM zrI gurujI pannAlAlajI vAkalIvAla sujAnagar3havAle oNnarerI dharmazikSA dete the| maiMne unase kahA-'gurujI ! mujhe bhI jJAnadAna diijiye|' gurujIne merA paricaya pUchA, meMne AnupUrvI apanA paricaya unako sunA diyaa| vaha bahuta prasanna hue aura bole ki tuma saMskRta pddh'o| unakI AjJA zirodhArya kara kAtantra-vyAkaraNa zrIyuta zAstrI jIvArAmajIse par3hanA prArambha kara diyA / aura ratnakaraNDazrAvakAcAra jI paNDita pannAlAlajIse par3hane lgaa| maiM paNDitajI ko gurujI kahatA thaa| bAbA gurudayAlajIse maiMne kahA-'bAbAjI ! mere pAsa 31/ =) kApiyoMke A gye| 10) Apa de gaye the| aba maiM bhAdramAsa takake liye nizcinta ho gyaa| ApakI AjJA ho to maiM saMskRta adhyayana karane lguuN|' unhoMne harSapUrvaka For Personal & Private Use Only

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34 merI jIvanagAthA kahA- 'bahuta acchA vicAra hai, koI cintA mata karo, saba prabandha kara dU~gA, jisa kisI pustakakI AvazyakatA ho, hamase kahanA / ' maiM Anandase adhyayana karane lagA aura bhAdramAsameM ratnakaraNDa zrAvakAcAra tathA kAtantra-vyAkaraNakI paJcasandhimeM parIkSA dii| usI varSa bambaI parIkSAlaya khulA thaa| rijalTa nikalA / maiM donoM viSayameM uttIrNa huaa| sAthameM paccIsa rupaye inAma bhI milA / samAja prasanna huI / zrImAn svargIya paMDita gopAladAsajI varaiyA usa samaya vahIM para rahate the / Apa bahuta hI sarala tathA jainadharmake mArmika paNDita the, sAthameM atyanta dayAlu bhI the| vaha mujhase bahuta prasanna hue aura kahane lage ki - 'tuma Anandase vidyAdhyayana karo, koI cintA mata kro|' vaha eka sAhabake AphisameM kAma karate the| sAhaba inase atyanta prasanna thA / paNDitajIne mujhase kahA - 'tuma zAmako mujhe vidyAlaya AphisameM le AyA karo, tumhArA jo mAsika kharca hogA, maiM duuNgaa| yaha na samajhanA ki maiM tumheM naukara samajha~gA / maiM unake samakSa kucha nahIM kaha sakA / ' parIkSAphala dekha kara dehalIke eka jhaverI lakSmIcandrajIne kahA ki 'dasa rupayA mAsika hama barAbara deMge, tuma adhyayana kro|' maiM adhyayana karane lagA kintu durbhAgyakA udaya itanA prabala thA ki bambaIkA pAnI mujhe anukUla na pdd'aa| zarIra rogI ho gyaa| gurujI aura svargIya paM0 gopAladAsajIne bahuta hI samavedanA prakaTa kii| tathA yaha Adeza diyA ki tuma pUnA jAo, tumhArA saba prabandha ho jAvegA / eka patra bhI likha diyA / maiM unakA patra lekara pUnA calA gayA / dharmazAlAmeM tthhraa| eka jainIke yahA~ bhojana karane lagA / vahA~kI jalavAyu sevana karanese mujhe ArAma ho gayA / pazcAt eka mAsa bAda maiM bambaI A gayA / yahA~ kucha dina ThaharA ki phirase jvara Ane lagA / zrI gurujI ne mujhe ajamerake pAsa kekar3I hai, vahA~ bheja diyA / kekar3ImeM paM0 pannAlAlajI, sAhaba rahate the| yogya puruSa the / Apa bahuta hI dayAlu aura sadAcArI the / Apake sahavAsase mujhe bahuta hI lAbha huA / ApakA kahanA thA ki 'jise Atma-kalyANa karanA ho vaha jagatke prapaJcoMse dUra rhe|' Apake dvArA yahA~ para eka pAThazAlA calatI thI / maiM zrImAn rAnIvAloMkI dukAnapara Thahara gyaa| unake munIma bahuta yogya For Personal & Private Use Only

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cirakAMkSita jayapura 35 the| unhoMne merA saba prabandha kara diyaa| yahA~ para auSadhAlayameM jo vaidyarAja daulatarAmajI the, vaha bahuta hI suyogya the| maiMne kahA-mahArAja maiM tijArIse bahuta duHkhI hU~| koI aisI auSadhi dIjiye jisase merI bImArI calI jaave| vaidyarAjane mUMgake barAbara golI dI aura kahA-'Aja ise khA lo tathA 34 dUdhakI 5-cAvala DAlakara khIra banAo aura jitanI khAI jAye khaao| koI vikalpa na krnaa| maiMne dinabhara khIra khaaii| peTa khUba bhara gyaa| rAtriko ATha baje vamana ho gyaa| usI dinase roga calA gyaa| pandraha dina kekar3ImeM rahakara jayapura calA gyaa| cirakAMkSita jayapura jayapurameM TholiyAkI dharmazAlAmeM Thahara gyaa| yahA~ para jamunAprasAdajI kAlAse merI maitrI ho gii| unhoMne zrIvIrezvara zAstrIke pAsa, jo ki rAjyake mukhya vidvAn the, merA par3hanekA prabandha kara diyaa| maiM Anandase jayapurameM rahane lgaa| yahA~ para saba prakArakI ApattiyoMse mukta ho gyaa| eka dina zrI jainamandirake darzana karaneke lie gyaa| mandirake pAsa zrInekarajIkI dukAna thii| unakA kalAkand bhAratameM prasiddha thaa| maiMne eka pAva kalAkanda lekara khaayaa| atyanta svAda aayaa| phira dUsare dina bhI eka pAva khaayaa| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki maiM bAraha mAsa jayapura meM rahA, parantu eka dina bhI usakA tyAga na kara sakA / ataH manuSyoMko ucita hai ki aisI prakRti na banAveM jo kaSTa uThAne para bhI use tyAga na skeN| jayapura chor3aneke bAda hI vaha Adata chUTa skii| eka bAta yahA~ aura likhanekI hai ki abhyAsase saba kArya ho sakate haiN| yahA~ para pAnIke gilAsako mukhase nahIM lagAte / Uparase hI dhAra DAlakara pAnI pInekA rivAja hai| mujhe usa taraha pInekA abhyAsa na thA, ataH loga bahuta lajjita karate the| kahate the ki 'tuma jUMThA gilAsa kara dete ho|' maiM kahatA thA ki 'ApakA kahanA ThIka hai para bahuta koziza karatA hU~ to bhI isa kArya uttIrNa nahIM ho paataa|' kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki maiMne bAraha varSa jala pInekA abhyAsa kiyaa| antameM usa kAryameM uttIrNa ho gyaa| ataH manuSyako ucita hai ki vaha jisa kAryakI siddhi karanA cAhe use AmaraNAnta na tyaage| yahA~para maiMne 12 mAsa rahakara zrIvIrezvarajI zAstrIse kAtantra-vyAkaraNakA abhyAsa kiyA aura zrIcandraprabhacaritra bhI pA~ca sarga pddh'aa| zrItattvArthasUtrajIkA For Personal & Private Use Only

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36 merI jIvanagAthA abhyAsa kiyA aura eka adhyAya zrIsarvArthasiddhikA bhI adhyayana kiyaa| itanA par3ha bambaIkI parIkSAmeM baiTha gayA / jaba kAtantra - vyAkaraNakA praznapatra likha rahA thA, taba eka patra mere grAmase aayaa| usameM likhA thA ki tumhArI strIkA dehAvasAna ho gyaa| maiMne mana hI mana kahA - 'he prabho ! Aja maiM bandhanase mukta huA / yadyapi aneka bandhanoMkA pAtra thA, parantu vaha bandhana aisA thA, jisase manuSyakI sarva sudhabudha bhUla jAtI hai|' patrako par3hate dekhakara zrIjamunAlAlajI mantrIne kahA - 'praznapatra chor3akara patra kyoM par3hane lage ?' maiMne uttara diyA ki 'patra para likhA thA- ' jarUrI patra hai|' unhoMne patrako mA~gA maiMne de diyaa| par3hakara unhoMne samavedanA prakaTa kI aura kahA ki - 'cintA mata karanA, praznapatra sAvadhAnIse likhanA, hama tumhArI phirase zAdI kara deveNge|' maiMne kahA- 'abhI to praznapatra likha rahA hU~, bAdameM sarva vyavasthA Apako zravaNa karAU~gA / ' antameM saba vyavasthA unheM sunA dI aura usI dina zrIbAIjIko eka patra simarA diyA evaM saba vyavasthA likha dI / yaha bhI likha diyA ki 'aba maiM niHzalya hokara adhyayana karU~gA / itane dinase patra nahIM diyA so kSamA karanA / ' yaha jayapura hai jayapura eka mahAn nagara hai / maiMne tIna dina paryanta zrI jina mandiroMke darzana kiye tathA tIna dina paryanta zaharake bAhya udyAnameM jo jina-mandira the unake darzana kiye, bahuta zAnta bhAva rahe / yahA~ para bar3e-bar3e diggaja vidvAn una dinoM the--'zrImAn paM. motIlAlajI tathA zrImAn paM. gulajIkATha jo 50 varSake hoNge| zrImAn paNDita cimmanalAlajI bhI usa samaya the jo ki vaktA the aura sabhAmeM saMskRta graMthoMkA hI pravacana karate the / ApakI kathanazailI itanI AkarSaka thI ki jo zrotA ApakA eka bAra zAstra zravaNa kara letA thA use svAdhyAyakI ruci ho jAtI thii| Apake pravacana ko jo barAbara zravaNa karatA thA vaha do yA tIna varSameM jainadharmakA dhArmika tattva samajhanekA pAtra ho jAtA thaa| Apake zAstra-pravacanameM prAyaH mandira bhara jAtA thA / kahA~ taka Apake guNoMkI prazaMsA kareM ? Apase vaktA jainiyoMmeM Apa hI the / Apa vaktA hI na the, santoSI bhI the / Apake pakke goTekI dukAna hotI thI / Apa bhojanoparAnta hI dukAnapara jAte the / jayapurameM ina dinoM vidvAnoMkA hI samAgama na thA, kintu bar3e-bar3e gRhasthoMkA bhI samAgama thA, jo aSTamI caturdazIko vyApAra chor3akara mandirameM dharmadhyAnadvArA samayakA sadupayoga karate the| saikar3oM ghara zuddha bhojana karanevAle For Personal & Private Use Only

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mahAn melA 37 zrAvakoMke the| paThana-pAThanakA jitanA suavasara yahA~ thA utanA anyatra na thaa| eka jaina pAThazAlA manihAroMke rAstemeM thii| zrImAn paM. nAnUlAlajI zAstrI, zrImAn paM. kastUracandrajI zAstrI, zrImAn paM. javAharalAlajI zAstrI tathA zrImAn paM. iMdralAlajI zAstrI Adi isI pAThazAlA dvArA gaNanIya vidvAnoMmeM hue| kahA~ taka likhU ? bahutase chAtra abhyAsa kara yahA~se paNDita bana prakhara vidvAn ho jainadharmakA upakAra kara rahe haiN| yahA~para una dinoM jaba ki maiM par3hatA thA, zrImAn svargIya arjunadAsajI bhI enTreMsameM par3hate the| ApakI atyanta prakhara buddhi thii| sAtha hI Apako jAtike utthAnakI bhI prabala bhAvanA thii| Apane eka sabhA sthApita kI thii| maiM bhI usakA sadasya thaa| ApakA vyAkhyAna itanA prabhAvaka hotA thA ki janatA tatkAla hI Apake anukUla ho jAtI thii| Apake dvArA eka pAThazAlA bhI sthApita huI thii| usameM paThana-pAThana bahuta sucArurUpase hotA thaa| usakI Age calakara acchI prakhyAti huii| kucha dinoMke bAda usako rAjyase bhI sahAyatA milane lgii| acche-acche chAtra usameM Ane lge| ApakA dhyeya dezoddhArakA vizeSa thA, ataH ApakA kA~gresa saMsthAse adhika prema ho gyaa| ApakA siddhAMta jainadharmake anukUla hI rAjanaitika kSetrameM kArya karanekA thaa| isase Apa virodhIke sAmane kAyaratAkA bartAva karanA acchA nahIM samajhate the| Apa ahiMsAkA yathArtha svarUpa samajhate the| bahudhA bahutase dayAko hI ahiMsA mAna baiThate haiM, para Apako ahiMsA aura dayAke mArmika bhedakA anugama thaa| mahAn melA una dinoM jayapurameM eka mahAn melA huA thA, jisameM bhAratavarSake sabhI prAntake vidvAn aura dhanika varga tathA sAmAnya janatAkA bRhatsamAroha huA thaa| gAyaka bhI acche-acche Aye the| melAko bharAnevAle zrI svargIya mUlacandrajI sonI ajameravAle the| vaha bahuta hI dhanADhya aura sadgRhastha the| Apake dvArA hI terApanthakA vizeSa utthAna huA-zikharajI meM terApanthI koThIkA vizeSa utthAna Apake hI satprayatnase huaa| ajamerameM Apake mandira aura nasiyA~jI dekhakara Apake vaibhavakA anumAna hotA hai| Apa kevala mandiroMke hI upAsaka na the, paNDitoMke bhI bar3e premI the| zrImAna svargIya paNDita baladevadAsajI ApahIke mukhya paNDita the| jaba paNDitajI ajamera jAte aura ApakI dukAnapara For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 38 pahu~cate taba Apa AdarapUrvaka unheM apane sthAnapara baiThAte the| paNDitajI mahArAja jaba yaha kahate ki Apa hamAre mAlika haiM ataH dukAnapara yaha vyavahAra yogya nahIM, taba seThajI sAhaba uttara dete ki 'mahArAja ! yaha to puNyodayakI dena hai parantu Apake dvArA vaha lakSmI mila sakatI hai jisakA kabhI nAza nhiiN| ApakI saumya mudrA aura sadAcArako dekhakara binA hI upadezake jIvoMkA kalyANa ho jAtA hai| hama to Apake dvArA usa mArgapara haiM jo Ajataka nahIM paayaa| isa prakAra seThajI aura paNDitajIkA paraspara sadavyavahAra thaa| kahA~ taka unakA ziSTAcAra likhA jAve ? paNDitajIkI sammatike binA koI bhI dhArmika kArya seThajI nahIM karate the| jo jayapurameM melA huA thA vaha paNDitajIkI sammatise hI huA thaa| ___melA itanA bhavya thA ki maiMne apanI paryAyameM vaisA anyatra nahIM dekhaa| usa melAmeM zrImAn svargIya paNDita pannAlAlajI nyAyadivAkara, zrImAn svargIya paNDita gopAladAsajI varaiyA tathA zrImAn svargIya paNDita pyArelAlajI alIgar3havAle Adi vidvAnoMkA tathA seThoMmeM pramukha seTha jo Aja vidyamAna haiM tathA zrImAn svargIya ugrasenajI raIsa, unake bhrAtA zrIsvarUpacandrajI raIsa, zrImAn lAlA jambUprasAdajI raIsa sahAranapuravAle, zrI caudharI jhunnAmallajI dillI Adi aneka mahAzaya evaM bundelakhaNDa prAntake zrImanta svargIya mohanalAlajI sAhaba khuraI, jabalapurake mahAzaya siMghaI garIbadAsajI sAhaba tathA zrImanta svargIya gupAlI sAhu Adi pramukha vyaktiyoMkA sadbhAva thaa| zrI zivalAlajI bhojaka tathA tANDavanRtya karanevAle zrI siMghaI dharmadAsajI Adi bhI prastuta the| ve aise gavaiyA the ki jinake gAnakA zravaNakara manuSya mugdha ho jAtA thaa| jaba vaha bhagavAnke guNoMkA varNanakara adA dikhAte the to darzakoMko aisA mAlUma hotA thA ki vaha bhagavAnko hRdayameM hI dhAraNa kiye hoN| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki isa mele meM aneka bhavya logoMne puNyabandha kiyA thaa| ___ melAmeM zrImahArAjAdhirAja jayapura nareza bhI padhAre the| Apane melA kI sundaratA dekha bahuta hI prasannatA vyakta kI thii| tathA zrIjinabiMbako dekhakara spaSTa zabdoMmeM yaha kahA thA ki-'zubha dhyAnakI mudrA to isase uttama saMsArameM nahIM ho sktii| jise AtmakalyANa karanA ho vaha isa prakArakI mudrA banAnekA prayatna kre| isa mudrAmeM bAhyADambara chU bhI nahIM gayA hai| sAtha hI isakI saumyatA bhI itanI adhika hai ki ise dekhate hI nizcaya ho jAtA hai ki jinakI yaha mudrA hai unake antaraMgameM koI kaluSatA nahIM thii| maiM yahI bhAvanA bhAtA hU~ ki maiM bhI isI padako prApta houuN| isa mudrAke dekhanese jaba For Personal & Private Use Only

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paM. gopAladAsajI varaiyAke samparkameM itanI zAnti hotI hai taba jinake hRdayameM kaluSatA nahIM unakI zAnti kA anumAna honA hI durlabha hai| isa prakAra melAmeM jainadharmakI apUrva prabhAvanA huI isakA zreya zrImAn svargIya seTha mUlacandrajI sonI ajameravAloMke hI bhAgyameM thaa| dravyakA honA to pUrvopArjita puNyodayase hotA hai parantu usakA sadupayoga birale hI puNyAtmAoMke bhAgyameM hotA hai| jo vartamAnameM puNyAtmA hai vahI mokSamArgake adhikArI haiN| sampatti pAkara mokSamArgakA lAbha jisane liyA usI ratnane manuSya janmakA lAbha liyaa| astu, yaha melAkA varNana huaa| paM. gopAladAsajI varaiyAke samparkameM bambaI parIkSAphala niklaa| zrIjIke caraNoMke prasAdase maiM parIkSAmeM uttIrNa ho gyaa| mahatI prasannatA huii| zrImAn svargIya paNDita gopAladAsajIkA patra AyA ki mathurAmeM digambara jaina mahAvidyAlaya khulanevAlA hai, yadi tumhe AnA ho to A sakate ho| mujhe bahuta prasannatA huii| maiM zrI paNDitajIkI AjJA pAte hI AgarA calA gayA aura motIkaTarAkI dharmazAlAmeM Thahara gyaa| yahIM zrI guru pannAlAlajI bAkalIvAla bhI A gye| Apa bahuta hI uttama lekhaka tathA saMskRtake jJAtA the| ApakI prakRti atyanta sarala aura paropakArarata thii| mere to prANa hI the-inake dvArA jo merA upakAra huA use isa janmameM nahIM bhUla sakatA | Apa zrImAn svargIya paM. baladevadAsajIse sarvArthasiddhikA abhyAsa karane lge| maiM Apake sAtha jAne lgaa| una dinoM chApekA pracAra jainiyoMmeM na thaa| mudrita pustakakA lenA mahAn anarthakA kAraNa mAnA jAtA thA, ataH hAthase likhe hue granthoMkA paThana-pAThana hotA thaa| hama bhI hAthakI likhI sarvArthasiddhi para hI abhyAsa karate the| ___paNDitajI mahArAjako madhyAhnoparAnta hI adhyayana karAnekA avakAza milatA thaa| garmI ke dina the| paNDitajIke ghara jAnemeM prAyaH pattharoMse paTI huI sar3aka milatI thii| motIkaTarAse paNDitajIkA makAna eka mIlase adhika dUra thA, ataH maiM jUtA pahine hI hastalikhita pustaka lekara paNDitajIke gharapara jAtA thaa| yadyapi isameM avinaya thI aura hRdayase aisA karanA nahIM cAhatA thA, parantu nirupAya thaa| dupaharI meM yadi pattharoM para calU~ to pairoMmeM kaSTa ho, na jAU~ to adhyayanase vaJcita rahU~ maiM duvidhAmeM par3a gyaa| lAcAra, antarAtmAne yahI uttara diyA ki abhI tumhArI chAtrAvasthA hai, adhyayanako mukhyatA rkkho| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA adhyayanake bAda kadApi aisI avinaya nahIM karanA....ityAdi tarka-vitarkake bAda maiM par3haneke lie calA jAtA thaa| yahA~ para zrImAn paM. nandarAmajI rahate the jo ki advitIya hakIma the| hakImajI jainadharmake vidvAn hI na the, sadAcArI bhI the| bhojanAdikI bhI unake gharameM pUrNa zuddhatA thii| Apa itane dayAlu the ki AgaremeM rahakara bhI nAlI AdimeM mUtra kSepaNa nahIM karate the| eka dina paNDitajIke pAsa par3haneko jA rahA thA, daivayogase Apa mila gye| kahane lage-kahA~ jAte ho ?' maiMne kahA'mahArAja ! paNDitajIke pAsa par3hane jA rahA huuN|' 'bagalameM kyA hai ?' maiMne kahA-'pAThya pustaka sarvArthasiddhi hai| Apane merA vAkya zravaNa kara kahA-'paJcama kAla hai, aisA hI hogA, tumase dharmonnatikI kyA AzA ho sakatI hai aura paNDitajIse kyA kaheM ?' maiMne kahA-mahArAja nirupAya huuN|' unhoMne kahA-'isase to nirakSara rahanA acchaa| maiMne kahA-mahArAja ! abhI garmIkA prakopa hai pazcAt yaha avinaya na hogii|' unhoMne eka na sunI aura kahA-'ajJAnIko upadeza denese kyA lAbha ?' maiMne kahA-'mahArAja ! jaba ki bhagavAn patitapAvana he aura Apa unake siddhAntoMke anugAmI haiM taba mujha jaise ajJAniyoMkA bhI uddhAra kIjiye / hama Apake bAlaka haiM, ataH Apa hI batalAiye ki aisI paristhitimeM maiM kyA karU~ ?' unhoMne kahA-'bAtoMke banAne meM to ajJAnI nahIM, para AcArake pAlane meM ajJAna banate ho| aisI hI eka galatI aura bhI ho gii| vaha yaha ki mathurA vidyAlayameM par3hAneke liye zrImAn paM. ThAkuraprasAdajI zarmA unhIM dinoM yahA~ para Aye the aura motIkaTarAkI dharmazAlAmeM Thahare the| Apa vyAkaraNa aura vedAntake AcArya the, sAthameM sAhitya aura nyAyake prakhara vidvAn the| Apake pANDityake samakSa acche-acche vidvAn natamastaka ho jAte the| hamAre zrImAn svargIya paM. baladevadAsajIne bhI Apase bhASyAnta vyAkaraNakA abhyAsa kiyA thaa| Apake bhojanAdikI vyavasthA zrImAn varaiyAjIne mere jimme kara dii| caturdazIkA dina thaa| paNDitajIne kahA 'bAjArase pUr3I zAka laao|' maiM bAjAra gyaa| aura halavAIke yahA~se pUr3I tathA zAka le A rahA thA ki mArgameM daivayogase vahI zrImAn paM. nandarAmajI sAhaba punaH mila gye| maiMne praNAma kiyaa| paNDitajIne dekhate hI pUchA-'kahA~ gaye the ? maiMne kahA-'paNDitajIke liye bAjArase pUr3I zAka lene gayA thaa| unhoMne kahA "kisa paNDitake liye ?' maiMne uttara diyA-'haripura jilA ilAhAbAdake paNDita zrI ThAkuraprasAdajIke liye, For Personal & Private Use Only

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paM. gopAladAsajI varaiyAke samparkameM 41 jo ki di. jaina mahAvidyAlaya mathurAmeM par3hAneke liye niyukta hue haiN| acchA, batAo zAka kyA hai ?' maiMne kahA-'AlU aura baiMganakA / ' sunate hI paNDitajI sAhaba atyanta kupita hue| krodhase jhallAte hue bole-'are mUrkha nAdAna ! Aja caturdazIke dina yaha kyA anartha kiyA ?' maiMne dhIme svarameM kahA-'mahArAja ! maiM to chAtra hU~ ? maiM apane khAneko to nahIM lAyA, kauna-sA anartha isameM ho gayA ? maiM to ApakI dayAkA hI pAtra huuN| yadyapi maiMne unake sAtha bahuta hI vinaya aura ziSTAcArakA vyavahAra kiyA thA to bhI aparAdhI banAyA gyaa| unhoMne kahA ki 'aise uddaNDa chAtroMko vidyAlayameM praveza karanA uttara kAlameM mahAn anartha-paramparAkA kAraNa hogaa|' maiMne kucha kahanA cAhA para ve bIca hImeM rokate hue bole-'acchA, aba tuma mata bolo| paM. gopAladAsajIse tumhAre aparAdha kA daNDa dilAkara tumheM mArgapara laaveNge| yadi mArgapara na lAye to pRthak karA deNge|' maiM unakI mudrA dekhakara bahuta khinna huA, parantu hRdayane yaha sAkSI dI ki 'bhaya mata karo, tumane koI aparAdha nahIM kiyA'-tumane to nahIM khAyA, gurujIkI AjJAse lAye ho| zrImAn paM. gopAladAsajI mahAn vivekI aura dayAlu jIva haiN| vaha tumheM pRthaka na kreNge| aise 2 aparAdhoMpara yadi chAtra pRthaka kiye jAne lage to vidyAlayameM par3hegA hI kauna ?' ityAdi UhApoha cittameM hotA rahA, para antameM saba zAnta ho gyaa| maiM zrImAn varaiyAjIse nyAyadIpikA par3hA karatA thaa| eka dina maiMne kaha hI diyA ki 'mahArAja ! merese do aparAdha bana gaye haiM-eka to yaha hai ki maiM dopaharIke samaya jUtA pahine dharmazAstrakI pustaka lekara paNDitajI ke yahA~ par3haneke lie jAtA hU~ aura dUsarA yaha ki caturdazIke dina zrImAn paM. ThAkuraprasAdajIke lie AlU tathA baiMganakA zAka laayaa| kyA ina aparAdhoMke kAraNa Apa mujhe khulanevAle vidyAlayameM na rakheMge?' paNDitajI sunakara ha~sa gaye aura madhura zabdoMmeM kahane lage ki 'kyA zrI paM. nandarAmajIne tumheM zAka lAte hue dekha liyA hai ?' maiMne kahA-'hA~ mahArAja ! bAta to yahI hai|' 'tUne to nahIM khAyA'-unhoMne puuchaa| 'nahIM mahArAja ! maiMne nahIM khAyA aura na maiM kabhI khAtA huuN| maiMne spaSTa zabdoMmeM uttara diyaa| paNDitajIne prema pradarzita karate hue kahA ki 'santoSa karo, cintA chor3o, jo pATha diyA jAve use yAda karo, tumhAre vaha saba aparAdha mApha kiye jAte haiN| AgAmI yadi aSTamI yA caturdazIkA dina ho, For Personal & Private Use Only

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42 merI jIvanagAthA to kahArako sAtha le jAyA karo aura jo bhI kAma karo, vivekake sAtha karo / jainadharmakA lAbha bar3e puNyodayase hotA hai| eka bAta tumase aura kahatA hU~ vaha yaha ki mahApuruSoMke samakSa namratA pUrvaka hI vyavahAra karanA cAhiye / jAo, para tumheM eka kAma diyA jAtA hai ki pratidina yahA~ Akara vidyAlayasambandhI cAra chaha patra leTarabaksameM DAla diyA krnaa|' maiMne kahA- 'AjJA zirodhArya hai / ' mahAsabhAkA vaibhava merI prakRti bahuta hI Darapoka thii| jo kucha koI kahatA thA, cupacApa suna letA thA / kintu itanA suyoga avazya thA ki zrImAn paM. gopAladAsajI varaiyA mujhase prasanna the / Apa jaise svAbhimAnI evaM prAcIna paddhatike saMrakSaka Apa hI the / ApahIke prabhAvase bambaI parIkSAphalakI sthApanA huI, Apake hI sadupadezase mahAvidyAlayakI sthApanA huI tathA Apake hI prayatna aura pUrNa hastadAnake dvArA hI mahAsabhA sthApita evaM pallavita huI / Apake sivAya mahAsabhAkI sthApanAmeM zrImAn svargIya mukundarAmajI muMzI murAdAbAda, zrImAn paM. cunnIlAlajI aura svargIya paM. pyArelAlajI alIgar3havAloMkA bhI vizeSa hAtha thaa| mahAsabhAke pradhAnamantrI svargIya DipTI campatarAmajI the aura sabhApati the svargIya nararatna rAjA lakSmaNadAsajI sAhaba mthuraa| usa samaya jaba ki mathurA meM mahAsabhAkI baiThakeM huA karatI thIM taba usakA bahuta hI prabhAva najara AtA thaa| purAne jainagajaToMkI phAileM isakA pramANa hai| usa samaya jainagajaTake sampAdaka zrI sUrajabhAnujI vakIla the aura zrI karor3ImallajI mahAsabhAke munIma the / mahAsabhA ke adhivezanoMmeM prAyaH bar3e-bar3e zrImAnoM aura paNDitoM kA samudAya upasthita rahatA thA / kArtika vadimeM mathurAkA melA hotA thA / rAjA sAhabakI orase melAkA prabandha rahatA thaa| kisI yAtrIko koI prakArakA kaSTa nahIM uThAnA par3atA thaa| rAjA sAhaba svayaM Dere-Derepara jAkara logoMko tasallI dete the aura bar3I namratAke sAtha kahA karate the ki 'yadi kucha kaSTa huA to kSamA karanA / mele-Thele haiN| hama loga kahA~ taka prabandha kara sakate haiM ?' ApakI saralatA aura saumyatAse Apake prati janatAke hRdayameM jo anurAga utpanna hotA thA usakA varNana kauna kara sakatA hai ? melAmeM zAstra - pravacanakA uttama prabandha rahatA thA / prAyaH bar3e-bar3e paNDita janatAko zAstra-pravacanake dvArA jainadharmakA marma samajhAte the| jise zravaNa kara janatAkI jainadharmameM gAr3ha zraddhA ho jAtI thI / nAnA prakArake praznoMkA uttara For Personal & Private Use Only

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mahAsabhAkA vaibhava 43 anAyAsa ho jAtA thaa| vaktAoMmeM zrImAn svargIya paNDita gopAladAsajI varaiyA, zrImAn svargIya paNDita pyArelAlajI alIgar3ha, zrImAn paNDita zAntilAlajI AgarA aura zAntimUrti, saMskRtake pUrNajJAtA evaM alaukika pratibhAzAlI svargIya paNDita baladevadAsajI pramukha the| inake sivAya anya aneka gaNamAnya paNDita vargake dvArA bhI melAkI apUrva zobhA hotI thii| sAthameM bhASAke dhurandhara vidvAnoMkA bhI samudAya rahatA thaa| jaise ki lazkara nivAsI zrImAn svargIya paNDita lakSmIcandrajI sAhaba / inakI vyAkhyAnazailIko sunakara zrotAoMko cakAcauMdha A jAtI thii| jisa vastukA Apa varNana karate the use pUrNa kara hI zvAsa lete the| jaba Apa svargakA varNana karane lagate the taba eka-eka vimAna, unake caityAlaya aura vahA~ke devoMkI vibhUtiko sunakara yaha anumAna hotA thA ki inakI dhAraNAzaktikI mahimA vilakSaNa hai| isI prakAra zrImAn paNDita cunnIlAlajI sAhaba tathA paNDita baladevadAsajI kalakattAvAle bhI jainadharmake dhurandhara vidvAn the| yahI nahIM, kitane hI aise bhI mahAnubhAva melAmeM padhArate the, jo dhanazAlI bhI the aura vidvAn bhI apUrva the| jaise ki zrImAn paM. mevArAmajI rANIvAle tathA zrImAn svargIya paNDita jmbuuprsaadjii| bahutase mahAnubhAva aise bhI Ate the, jo AMgla vidyAke pUrNa marmajJa honeke sAtha hI sAtha paNDita bhI the| jaise zrImAn svargIya vairiSTara campatarAyajI sAhaba tathA zrImAn paNDita ajitaprasAdajI saahb| Apa logoMkA jainadharmapara pUrNa vizvAsa hI nahIM thA pANDitya bhI thaa| yahA~ maiM likhate-likhate eka nAma bhUla gayA bairiSTara jugamandharadAsajI sAhabakA / Apa aMgrejIke pUrNa marmajJa the| ApakI vaktRtvazakti aMgrejImeM itanI uccatama thI ki jaba Apa bairiSTarI pAsa karaneke lie vilAyata gaye taba bar3e-bar3e lArDavaMza ke lar3ake Apake mukhase aMgrejI sunanekI abhilASA hRdayameM rakha Apake pAsa Ate the| aMgrejIkI taraha hI ApakA jainadharmaviSayaka pANDitya bhI agAdha thaa| zrImAn arjunadAsajI seThI bhI eka viziSTa vidvAn the| Apa gommaTasArAdi granthoMke marmajJa vidvAn the| Apake praznoMkA uttara varaiyAjI hI denemeM samartha the| eka bAta bhASAke vidvAnoMkI aura bhUla gyaa| yaha ki usa samaya gommaTasArake marmako jAnanevAle zrI arjunadAsajI nAvA itane bhArI vidvAn the ki unake sAmane bar3e-bar3e dhurandhara vidvAn bhI jhijhakate the| aise-aise aneka mahAnubhAva mathurAmeM Ate the| ATha dina taka mathurA nagarIke caurAsI sthAnapara caturthakAlakI smRti A jAtI thii| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 44 guru gopAladAsajI varaiyA caurAsIma jo mandira hai use durga kahA jAve to atyukti na hogii| mandirameM jo ajitanAthajIkI pratimA hai vaha kitanI anupama aura sundara hai inako dekhanese hI anubhava hotA hai| mandirakA cauka itanA bar3A hai ki usameM pA~ca hajAra AdamI eka sAtha baiTha sakate haiN| mandirake uttara bhAgameM eka anupama udyAna hai, dakSiNameM yamunAkI nahara, pUrvameM zasyasampanna kSetra aura pazcimameM vidyAlayakA makAna hai| mandira ke tIna ora dharmazAlAoMkI bar3I-bar3I aTTAlikAe~ zobhA de rahI haiN| kahA~ taka kaheM ? bhAratavarSameM yaha melA apanI zAnakA eka hI hai| yahIM para zrI di. jaina mahAvidyAlayakI bhI sthApanA zrImAn rAjA sAhabake karakamaloM dvArA ho cukI thii| usake mantrI zrImAn paM. gopAladAsajI varaiyA AgarA nivAsI the| ApakA dhyeya itanA uccatama thA ki cUMki jainiyoMmeM prAcIna vidyA va dhArmika jJAnakI mahatI truTi ho gaI hai, ataH use punarujjIvita karanA caahiye| ApakA nirantara yahI dhyeya rahA ki jainadharmameM sarva viSayake zAstra haiM ataH paThanakramameM jainadharmake hI zAstra rakkhe jaaveN| ApakA yahA~ taka sadAgraha thA ki vyAkaraNa bhI paThanakramameM jainAcAryakRta hI honA caahiye| yahI kAraNa thA ki Apane prathamAke korsameM vyAkaraNameM kAtantrako, nyAyameM nyAyadIpikAko aura sAhityameM candraprabhacaritako hI sthAna diyA thaa| ApakI tarkazailI itanI uttama thI ki antaraMga kameTImeM ApakA hI pakSa pradhAna rahatA thaa| ApakA zikSA khAtese itanA gADha prema thA ki AgarA rahakara bhI vidyAlayakA kArya sucArurUpa se calAte the| yadyapi Apa usa samaya adhikAMza bambaImeM rahate the, phira bhI jaba kabhI AgarA AnekA avasara AtA, taba mathurA, vidyAlayameM avazya padArpaNa karate the| spaSTa zabdoMmeM yaha kahA jA sakatA hai ki mathurA, vidyAlayakI sthApanA Apake hI prayatnase huI thii| __ Apa dharmazAstrake apUrva vidvAn the| kevala dharmazAstrake hI nahIM, dravyAnuyogake bhI apUrva vidvAn the| paJcAdhyAyIke paThana-pAThanakA pracAra Apa hI ke prayatnakA phala hai| isa granthake mUla anveSaka zrImAn paM. baladevadAsajI haiN| unhoMne ajamerake zAstrabhaNDArameM ise dekhA aura zrImAn paM. gopAladAsako adhyayana karAyA / anantara usakA pracAra zrI paNDitajIne apane ziSyoMmeM kiyaa| isakI jo bhASA-TIkAe~ haiM ve Apake hI ziSya zrI paM. makkhanalAlajI For Personal & Private Use Only

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guru gopAladAsajI varaiyA siddhAntAlaMkAra aura paM. devakInandanajI vyAkhyAnavAcaspati kI kRtiyA~ haiM / Apa vidvAn hI na the, lekhaka bhI the| ApakI bhASAmaya gadya-padyakI racanA anupama hotI thI / Apane zrIjaina siddhAntapravezikA aura zrIjainasiddhAntadarpaNakI racanAke dvArA jaina siddhAntameM pravezakA mArga khola diyA thaa| ApakA 'suzIlA' upanyAsa sarvathA bejor3a hai| usameM Apane dhArmika siddhAntoMkA rahasya kathA dvArA isa uttama zailIse vidvAnoMke sAmane rakkhA hai jise avagata kara atyanta AhlAda hotA hai| ApakI bhajanAvalIko sunakara yaha bhrama ho jAtA hai ki kyA yaha svargIya paM. daulatarAmajIkI racanA haiM / ApameM eka guNa mahAn thA / vaha yaha ki yadi koI tyAgI Apase vidyAbhyAsa karanA cAhatA thA to Apa usakA samucita prabandha karanemeM kasara nahIM karate the| Apa parIkSaka bhI prathama zreNIke the| eka bArakA jikra hai - maiMne mathurAse eka patra zrImAn paNDitajIko isa AzayakA likhA ki 'bAIjIkA svAsthya atyanta kharAba hai, ataH unhoMne mujhe 15 dinake liye simarA bulAyA hai|' Apane uttara diyA ki 'bAIjIkA jo patra AyA hai use hamAre pAsa bheja do|' maiMne kyA kiyA ? 'eka patra bAIjIke hastAkSarakA likhakara mathurAmeM DAla diyA / dUsare dina vaha patra caurAsImeM mujhe mila gyaa| maiMne use hI liphAphAmeM bandakara zrIpaNDitajIke pAsa bheja diyaa| unhoMne bA~cakara uttara likhA ki 'tuma zIghra hI cale jaao| parantu jaba dezase lauTo taba AgarAmeM hamase milakara mathurA jaanaa|' maiM jatArA gayA aura 5 dina bAda AgarA A gyaa| jaba paNDitajIse milA taba unhoMne muskurAte hue pUchA - 'bAIjIkA svAsthya acchA hai ?' maiMne kahA - 'hA~ mahArAja ! acchA hai|' paNDitajIne kahA- 'acchA, yaha zloka yAda kara lo aura phira vidyAlaya cale jAo / ' zloka yaha thA 'upAdhyAye naTe dhUrte kuTTinyAM ca tathaiva ca / mAyA tatra na kartavyA mAyA taireva nirmitA / / 45 eka hI bArameM zloka yAda ho gyaa| sAtha hI bhAva bhI samajhameM A gyaa| maiMne gurujIse mahatI namra prArthanA kI ki 'mahArAja maiMne bar3I galatI kI hai jo Apako mithyA patra dekara asabhyatA kA vyavahAra kiyA / ' gurujIne kahA- jAo hama tumase khuza haiM, yadi isa prakArakI prakRtiko apanAoge to Ajanma Anandase rahoge / hama tumhAre vyavahArase santuSTa haiM aura tumhArA aparAdha kSamA karate haiM / tumheM jo kaSTa ho, hamase kaho hama nivAraNa kreNge| jitane chAtra haiM hama unheM putrase bhI adhika samajhate haiN| yadi aba jainadharmakA vikAsa hogA to inhIM chAtroMke dvArA hogA, inhIMke dvArA 1 For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 46 dharmazAstra tathA sadAcArakI paripATI clegii| maiM tumheM do rupayA mAsika apanI orase dugdha-pAnake liye detA huuN| maiM mathurA calA gyaa| __ Aja jo jayadhavalAdi granthoMkI bhASA-TIkA ho rahI hai vaha Apake dvArA vyutpanna-zikSita vidvAnoMke dvArA hI ho rahI hai| isake pradhAna kAryakartA yA to Apake anyatama ziSya haiM yA Apake ziSyoMke ziSya haiN| vaha ApakA hI bhagIratha prayatna thA jo Aja bhAratavarSake jainiyoMmeM karaNAnuyogakA pracAra ho rahA hai| Apa kevala vidvAn hI nahIM the| sadAcArI bhI advitIya the| ApakA makAna AgarAmeM thaa| myunisipala jamAdArane zaucagRhake banAnemeM bahuta bAdhA dii| yadi Apa use 10) kI ghUsa de dete to mukadamA na calatA parantu paNDitajIke ghUsa denekA tyAga thaa| mukadamA claa| bar3I parezAnI uThAnI pdd'ii| saiMkar3oM rupayoMkA vyaya huA, parantu zrI paNDitajIne ghUsa nahIM dii| antameM Apa vijayI hue| ApameM sahanazIlatA bhI pUrNa thii| ApakI gRhiNIkA svabhAva kucha ugra thA parantu Apane usake Upara kabhI bhI roSa nahIM kiyaa| Apake eka suputra aura suputrI thii| Apake hI prayatnake phalasvarupa murainA vidyAlayakI sthApanA huI thii| yaha vaha vidyAlaya hai jisake dvArA Aja bhAratavarSameM gommaTasArAdi granthoMke marmajJa vidvAnoMkA sadbhAva ho rahA hai| Apake sahavAsameM zrImAn paM. ThAkuradAsajI brahmacArI sarvadA murainA rahate the| ___ Apa eka bAra kalakattA gye| vahA~ AmaMtrita mahatI vidvanmaNDalIke samakSa Apane jainadharmake tattvoMkA itanA sundara vivecana kiyA ki use sunakara dhurandhara vidvAn cakita raha gaye aura una vidvAnoMne Apako 'nyAyavAcaspati' kI padavI pradAna kii| astu, Apake viSayameM kahA~ taka likhuu| Apane merA jo upakAra kiyA hai use maiM Ajanma nahIM bhUla sktaa| mathurAse khurajA maiM jisa samaya mathurA vidyAlayameM adhyayana karatA thA usa samaya vahA~para nyAyAcArya mANikacandra bhI adhyayana karate the| sAtha hI zrImAn lAlArAmajI AdikA sahavAsa thaa| zrImAn paM. narasiMha dAsajI zAstrI dharmazAstrakA adhyayana karAte the| Apa bahuta hI yogya vidvAn the| Apane caraNAnuyogake aneka zAstroMkA avalokana kiyA thaa| pratiSThAcArya bhI Apa advitIya the| maiM yahA~ do varSa rhaa| pazcAta kAraNavaza khurajA calA gyaa| usa samaya jainasamAjameM zrIrANIvAloMkI kIrti digadimanta taka phaila rahI thii| Apake yahA~ saMskRta par3hAnekA pUrNa prabandha thaa| zrImAn caNDIprasAdajI bahuta bar3e bhArI vidvAn For Personal & Private Use Only

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zikharajI ke lie prasthAna the-Apa vyAkaraNa, nyAya tathA sAhityake apUrva vidvAn the| zrImAn svargIya mevArAmajI sAhaba rANIvAle saMskRta-vidyAke apUrva premI the| Apane vyAkaraNameM madhyamA parIkSA taka adhyayana kiyA thaa| sAhityameM bhI Apako apUrva gati thii| zAstrapravacanameM mukhya the| vyAkhyAnakalA to ApakI bahuta hI prasiddha thii| Apane kaI bAra AryasamAjake paNDitoMke sAtha zAstrArtha kara vijaya prApta kI thii| Apa chAtroMkI unnatimeM sadaiva prayatnazIla rahate the| Apake cAcA zrIamRtalAlajI dharmazAstrake prakhara vidvAna the| zrI padamarAjajI Apake hI cacere bhAI the, jo ki hindU mahAsabhAke sekreTarI the| khurajAmeM eka brAhmaNoMkI bhI saMskRta pAThazAlA thI jisameM paM. jiyAlAlajI adhyayana karAte the| usa samaya vahA~ 200 chAtra saMskRtakA adhyayana karate the| chAtroMko saba prakArakI suvidhA thii| - isI samaya vahA~ eka navIna jaina mandira banA aura usakI pratiSThA bar3e samArohake sAtha huI / prAyaH prasiddha-prasiddha sabhI paNDita isameM Aye the| 100000 jainI bhAI hoMge, jinakA satkAra seTha mevArAmajIkI orase huA thaa| yahA~ para maiM do varSa pddh'aa| banArasakI prathamA parIkSA tathA nyAyamadhyamAkA prathama khaNDa yahIMse pAsa kiyaa| yadyapi mujhe yahA~ saba prakArakI suvidhA thI, parantu phira bhI khurajA chor3anA pdd'aa| zikharajIke lie prasthAna eka dinakI bAta hai| maiMne eka jyotiSIse pUchA-'batalAiye, maiMne nyAyamadhyamAke prathama khaNDameM parIkSA dI hai, pAsa ho jAU~gA ?' jyotiSIne kahA-'pAsa ho jAoge para yaha nizcita hai ki tuma vaizAkha sudI 13 ke 6 bajeke bAda khurajA nahIM raha sakoge-cale jaaoge| maiMne kahA-'Apane kaise jAna liyA ?' jyotirvidyAse jAna liyA.....unhoMne garvake sAtha uttara diyaa| 'maiM Apake nirNayako mithyA kara dU~gA'...maiMne ha~sate hue khaa| 'kara denA' kahakara jyotiSIjI cale gye| usa dinase mujhe nirantara yaha cintA rahane lagI ki vaizAkha sudI 11 kI kathAko mithyA karanA hai| vaizAkha sudI 12 ke dopaharakA samaya thA, kucha lU cala rahI thii| saba ora sannATA thaa| maiM kamarAke bhItara so rahA thaa| acAnaka bahuta hI bhayAnaka svapna aayaa| nidrA bhaMga hote hI manameM cintA huI ki yadi asamayameM maraNa ho jAvegA to zikharajIkI yAtrA raha jAvegI, ataH For Personal & Private Use Only

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48 merI jIvanagAthA zikharajI avazya hI jAnA caahiye| kucha dera bAda vicAra AyA ki kaise jAU~ ? garmI ke dina haiM, ekAkI jAnemeM aneka ApattiyA~ haiM / maiM vicAra - magna hI thA ki seTha mevArAmajI A gye| Apane sarala svabhAvase pUchA-'cintita kyoM ho ? kauna-sI Apatti A gaI ? hamAre vidyamAna hote hue cintA karanekI kyA AvazyakatA hai ? hama saba prakAra sahAyatA karaneko sannaddha haiN|' maiMne kahA- 'yaha to ApakI sajjanatA hai, ApakI sahAyatA se hI to hamArA saMskRta - vidyAmeM praveza huA tathA anya saba prakArake subhIte prApta haiM / parantu Aja dopahara bAda aisA svapna AyA ki usakA phala maiMne mRtyu samajha rakkhA hai| yataH paryAyakA kucha bharosA nahIM, ataH manameM yaha bhAvanA hotI hai ki eka bAra girirAja zikharajIkI vandanA avazya kara AU~ / parantu ekAkI honese bhayabhIta hU~-kaise jAU~ ?' Apane kahA - 'cintA mata karo, hama loga zItakAlameM yAtrAke nimitta caleMge; pUrvakI saba yAtrA kareMge, Apa bhI Anandase sabhI yAtrA karanA; hamAre samAgamameM kaSTa na hogaa|' maiMne kahA - 'ApakA kahanA akSarazaH satya hai parantu utane dinake andara yadi merI Ayu pUrNa ho jAvegI to manakI bAta manameM hI raha jAvegI / kisI nItikArane kahA hai ki 'kAla karai so Aja kara Aja karai so abba / palameM paralaya hoyagA bahuri karaigA kabba / / ' athavA yaha bhI ukti hai ki 'karale so kAma bhajale so rAma / ' mujhe bahuta hI adhIratA ho rahI hai, ataH maiM girirAjako jAU~gA hI / ' zrImAn seThajI bole- 'hama to Apake hitakI kahate haiM, garmIke dina haiM, 18 mIlakI yAtrA kaise karoge ? mujhe Apake Upara dayA AtI hai; AzA hai Apa hamArI kathAko pramANIbhUta kreNge|' maiMne kahA - 'Apa anubhavI puruSa haiM, yogya sammati ApakI hai kintu mujhe yaha vizvAsa hai ki jahA~se anantAnanta muni nirvANa lAbha kara cuke haiM, isa eka huNDAvasarpiNI kAlako chor3akara ananta caturviMzati tIrthaMkaroMkI jo nizcita nirvANabhUmi hai, tathA vartamAna tebIsaveM tIrthaMkara zrI pArzvaprabhu jahA~se nirvANadhAmako prApta hue haiM aura jinake nAmase Aja parvatakI prasiddhi ho rahI hai usI girirAjakI vandanA ke bhAva hamAre hue haiM to kyA itanA puNya saMcaya na huA hogA ki jisa dina hamArI yAtrA hogI unake pahale rAtriko megharAja kRpA kareMge ? merA to pUrNa vizvAsa hai ki yAtrAke 4 ghaMTA pahale akhaMDa jaladhArA giregI / ' zrI seThajI ha~sa gaye aura ha~sate-ha~sate For Personal & Private Use Only

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mArga meM gaMgA-yamunA saMgama bole- 'acchA pAnI barase to hameM bhI patra denaa|' maiMne dRr3hatAke sAtha kahA- 'barase kyA ? barasegA hii| mujhe dRr3ha vizvAsa hai ki jisa girirAjakI bhaktipUrvaka vandanA karanese tiryaggati narakagati miTa jAtI hai arthAt samyagdarzanakA lAbha ho jAtA hai, kyoMki samyagdRSTike hI naraka aura tiryaggatikA bandha nahIM hotA / phira bhalA vicAriye ki jo vandanA anantaM saMsArake kAraNa mithyAtvako bhI dhvasta kara detI hai, yadi vaha merI yAtrAke liye jala barasA deve to kauna Azcarya hai ?' zrI seThajI punaH ha~sa gaye - 'acchaa|' itanemeM vahA~ para eka jainI bhAI, jo ki per3A Adiko pherI dvArA beca kara AjIvikA karate the, Aye aura bole - 'hama yAtrAko caleMge parantu relabhAr3A denA hogaa|' maiMne kahA- 'bhAI ! maiM to chAtra hU~ mere pAsa relabhAr3A nahIM hai|' seThajIne kahA - ' isakI cintA mata karo jitanA rupayA Ane-jAnemeM kharca ho dukAnase le lo / ' yaha carcA hone ke bAda seThajI to dukAna para cale gye| maiMne usa jainI bhAIse kahA ki 'kala 6 baje hI gAr3I jAtI hai, ataH mArgake liye kucha miThAI banA lo| 'acchA jAte haiM......' yaha kaha kara vaha calA gyaa| prasannatAse rAtaM bItI / prAtaHkAla hamane zrIjinendradevakA darzana, pUjana kara bhojana kiyA aura sAr3he ATha baje donoM sTezanapara pahu~ca gaye / ilAhAbAdakA TikaTa kharIdA, gAr3ImeM baiTha gaye aura 6 baje jaba gAr3I chUTane lagI taba yAda AI ki jyotiSIne kahA thA ki 'tuma vaisAkha sudi 13 ko 1 bajeke bAda khurajA na raha sakoge tathA sAthameM yaha bhI kahA thA ki phira khurajA nahIM Aoge / ' manameM bar3A harSa huA ki aba bhI aise-aise nimittajJAnI haiM / 49 mArgameM gaMgA-yamunA saMgama dUsare dina ilAhAbAda pahu~ca gye| sTezanase tA~gA kara jaina dharmazAlA phuNce| yahA~ para bar3e-bar3e jinAlaya haiM jinameM prAcIna jinabimba bhI haiM / yahA~se akSayavaTa dekhaneke liye kilemeM gaye / kileke andara eka makAna hai| usameM eka kalpita sUkhA per3a banA rakkhA hai| vaha jo bhI ho parantu hajAroM yAtrI usake darzanArtha jAte haiN| hama bhI isa abhiprAyase gaye the ki 'bhagavAn AdinAthane vaTa vRkSake nIce daigambarI dIkSA dhAraNa kI thI / ' yahA~se do mIlapara gaMgA-yamunAkA saMgama dekhaneke liye gaye / yahA~ sahasroM yAtrI snAnArtha Ate haiM, saikar3oM paNDoMke sthAna kinArepara haiM jo yAtriyoMko acchA subhItA dete haiM tathA unase dravya bhI upArjana karate haiN| vAstavameM yahI unakI AjIvikA hai| tIrthayAtrA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 50 dharmasAdhanakA uttama nimitta hai| parantu aba una sthAnoMpara AjIvikAke nimitta logoMne aneka asatya kalpanAoMke dvArA puNyasaMcaya karanekA leza bhI nahIM rahane diyA hai| kahIM nAI, kahIM piNDa sAmagrIvAle aura kahIM Taiksa vasUla karanevAle paNDe hI najara Ate haiN| ina sabakI khIMcatAnase becAre yAtrIgaNa duHkhI ho jAte haiN| jo ho, bhAratavarSake jIvoMmeM aba bhI dharmakI zraddhA niSkapaTa rUpase vidyamAna hai| ___ hamArA jo sAthI thA, usane kahA-'calo hama tuma bhI snAna kara leM, mArgakI thakAvaTa miTa jaaygii| maiMne kahA-'ApakI icchaa| antameM hama donoMne gaMgAsnAna kiyaa| ghATake paNDeke pAsa vastrAdi rakha diye| jaba snAna kara cukA taba paMDA mahArAjane dakSiNA maaNgii| hamane kahA-'mahArAja ! hama to jainI haiN| paNDAne DA~Ta dikhAte hue kahA ki 'kyA jainI dAna nahIM dete ?' maiMne kahA-'dete kyoM nahIM ?' parantu Apa hI batalAiye-Apako kaunasA dAna diyA jAya ? Apa tyAgI to haiM nahIM jisase ki pAtradAna diyA jaave| karuNAdAnake pAtra mAlUma nahIM hote kyoMki Apake zarIrameM raIsoMkA pratyaya hotA hai, phira bhI yadi Apa nArAja hote haiM to lIjiye yaha eka rupayA hai| paNDAne kahA 'bAta to ThIka hai parantu hamArA yahI dhandhA hai| tuma loga khuza raho, tumane hamAre vacanako vyartha nahIM jAne diyaa| yadi tumako duHkha ho to yaha rupayA le jaao| yahA~ 3) yA 4) kI koI bAta hI nahIM hai| panapiyAImeM cale jAte haiN|' nahIM, mahArAja ! kleza kI koI bAta nhiiN| parantu yaha AjIvikA Apa jaise manuSyoMko zobhAprada nahIM hai| Age ApakI icchA'....yaha maiMne khaa| paNDAjI bole-'bhAI yaha kalikAla hai, yahA~ to yahI kahAvata caritArtha hotI hai ki 'phuTTha devI U~Ta pujaarii|' yahA~ jo dAna denevAle Ate haiM ve sAttvikavRttike to Ate nhiiN| jo mahApAtakI hote haiM ve hI apane pApako dUra karaneke liye Ate haiN| aba tumhIM batAo yadi hama unakA dAna aMgIkAra na kareM to unake uddhArakA kaunasA mArga hai ? maiMne kahA-'mahArAja ! aba jAtA hU~, aparAdha kSamA krnaa|' paNDA mahArAja punaH bole-acchA, aparAdhakI kaunasI bAta hai ? saMsArameM yahI calatA hai| jo atyanta nirmala pariNAmI hai unheM tIrthoM para bhaTakanekI AvazyakatA nhiiN| jisake mala nahIM vaha snAna kyoM kare? jisane pApa nahIM kiyA vaha kyoM kisIke ArAdhanameM apanA kAla lagAve ? cUMki bhagavAnako patitapAvana kahate haiM, ataH jarA soco, jisane pApa hI nahIM kiyA vaha patitapAvanake pAsa bhakti Adi karanekI ceSTA kyoM karegA ? tuma jo girirAjakI yAtrAke liye jA rahe ho so isaliye na ki hamAre pAtaka dUra hoM For Personal & Private Use Only

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darzana aura parikramA aura AgAmI kAlameM sadgati ho| kalpanA karo-yadi jainiyoMmeM pApakA pariNAma na hotA to ve bhagavAn arhankI upAsanA kyoM karate ? ataH beTA ! tuma abhI bAlaka ho, kisIkI nindA mata karanA, apane dharmako pAlo, apanI vRtti nirmala karo, vahI tumako pAra lgaavegii| hamAre siddhAntoMmeM bhI kahA hai-'Rte jJAnAnna muktiH'-jJAna ke binA mukti nahIM ho sktii| phira bhI isa rAMr3a AjIvikAke liye bAhyameM nAnA veSa karanA par3atA hai| vizeSa kucha nahIM, tuma jAo, hama tumheM AzIrvAda dete haiM tumhArI yAtrA sAnanda hogii| - darzana aura parikramA hama donoM vahA~se cale aura sAyaMkAlakI gAr3Ipara savAra hokara paTanA-sudarzana seThake nirvANasthAnapara pahu~ca gye| dharmazAlAmeM Thahare, prAtaHkAla snAna kara zrIsudarzana nirvANakSetrakI vandanA kii| madhyAhnameM bhojanAdise nivRtta hokara gireTIke liye cala diyaa| bIcameM madhupura gAr3I badalate hue gireTI phuNce| mandiroMke darzana kara apUrva Ananda paayaa| yahA~ para zrIkizorIlAla rAmacandrajI sarAbagI bar3e sajjana vyakti haiN| yahA~se calakara bar3Akara Aye, phira zrIzikharajI pahu~ca gye| zrIpArzvaprabhukI nirvANabhUmikA sAdhAraNa darzana to gireTIse hI ho gayA thA, para bar3Akara pahuMcane para vizeSa darzana hone lgaa| jyoM-jyoM Age bar3hate the, tyoM-tyoM spaSTa darzana hote jAte the| zrI pArzvaprabhuke mandira para sarva prathama dRSTi par3atI thii| cirakI pahu~cane para sAnanda darzana hue aura manameM aisI umaMga AI ki yadi paMkha hote to ur3akara isI kSaNa prabhuke darzana krte| cittameM yahI bhAvanA utpanna ho rahI thI ki kaba prabhuke caraNoMkA sparza kreN| paira utAvalIke sAtha Age bar3ha rahe the, eka-eka kSaNa dina-sA pratIta hotA thaa| antameM madhubana pahu~ca gaye, terApanthI dharmazAlAmeM Azraya liyaa| prAtaH kAla zaucAdi kriyAse nivRtta hokara zrIpArzvaprabhuke darzana kara parama AnandakA anubhava kiyaa| bAdameM bIsapanthI koThIke darzana kara sthAna para Aye aura bhojanAdise nivRtta ho so gye| tIna baje uThakara sAmagrI taiyAra kI aura vastraprakSAlana kara sUkhaneke liye DAla diye| sAyaMkAla bhojanoparAnta bAhara cabUtarA ke Upara sAmAyika kriyA karake so gye| rAtrike 6 bajese lekara 10 baje taka akhaNDa varSA huii| mana AhlAdase bhara gayA aura hama donoM pArzvaprabhuke guNa gAne lge| hRdayameM isa bAtakI dRr3ha zraddhA ho gaI ki aba to pArzvaprabhukI For Personal & Private Use Only

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52 merI jIvanagAthA I vandanA sukhapUrvaka hogii| nidrA nahIM AI, hama donoM hI zrIpArzvake caritrakI carcA karate rahe / carcA karate-karate hI eka baja gyaa| usI samaya zaucAdi kriyAse nivRtta hokara svaccha vastra pahine aura eka AdamI sAtha lekara zrIgirirAjakI vandanAke lie prasthAna kara diyaa| mArgameM stuti - pATha kiyA / stuti - pAThake anantara maiM mana hI mana kahane lagA ki 'he prabho ! yaha hamArI vandanA nirvidhna ho jaave| isake upalakSyameM hama ApakA paJcakalyANaka pATha kreNge| aisA sunate haiM ki adhama jIvoM ko vandanA nahIM hotii| yadi hamArI vandanA nahIM huI to hama adhama puruSoMkI zreNImeM gine jAveMge; ataH he prabho ! hama aura kucha nahIM mA~gate / kevala yahI mA~gate haiM ki Apake smaraNa prasAdase hamArI yAtrA ho jAve / he prabho ! ApakI mahimA avarNanIya hai / yadi na huI to hamArA jIvana niSphala hai / AzA hai hamArI prArthanA viphala na jAvegI / prabho ! merI I prArthanApara prathama dhyAna dIjiye, maiM bar3e kaSTase AyA hU~, isa bhISaNa garmI meM yAtrAke liye kauna AtA hai ? Apake jo ananya bhakta haiM, ve hI isa bhISaNa samayameM Apake guNagAna karate hue girirAjapara Ate haiM' ityAdi' kahate-kahate zrIkunthunAtha svAmIkI zikhara para pahu~ca gyaa| usI samaya AdamIne kahA ki - 'sAvadhAna ho jAo zrIkunthunAtha svAmIkI ToMka A gii| darzana karo aura mAnavajanmakI saphalatAkA lAbha lo / ' hama donoMne bar3e hI utsAhake sAtha zrIkunthunAtha svAmIkI ToMka para deva, zAstra, gurukA pUjana kiyA aura vahA~se anya TokoM kI vandanA karate hue zrIcandraprabhakI ToMka para pahu~ce / apUrva dRzya thA / manameM AyA ki dhanya haiM una mahAnubhAvoMko, jinhoMne ina durgama sthAnoMse mokSalAbha liyaa| zrIcandraprabha svAmIkI pUjana kara zeSa tIrthakaroMkI vandanA karate hue jalamandira Aye / yahA~ bIcameM zrIpArzvanAtha svAmIkI pratimAke, jo ki zvetAmbara AmnAya - anukUla thI, netra Adi jar3e the| bagalameM do mandira aura bhI the jinameM digambara sampradAyake anukUla pratibimba the| vahA~se vandanA kara zrI pArzvanAthakI ToMkapara pahu~ca gye| pahu~cate hI aisI manda sugandhita vAyu AI ki mArgakA parizrama ekadama calA gyaa| Anandase pUjA kii| pazcAt manameM aneka vicAra Aye, parantu zaktikI durbalatAse saba manoratha viphala hue / vandanA nirvidhna honese anupama Ananda aura manameM jo yaha bhaya thA ki yadi vandanA na huI to adhama puruSoMmeM gaNanA kI jAvegI vaha miTa gayA / phira For Personal & Private Use Only

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darzana aura parikramA 53. vahA~se cala kara gyAraha baje zrI madhubanakI terApanthI koThImeM A gye| bhUkhakI vedanA vyAkula kara rahI thI, ataH zIghra hI bhojana banA kara so gye| yadyapi thakAna bahuta thI, parantu vandanAke apUrva lAbhake samakSa usakI smRti bhUla gye| eka dina ArAma kiyA, phira yaha vicAra huA ki parikramA karanA caahiye| sAthIne bhI svIkAra kiyaa| eka AdamIko bhI sAtha liyA aura prAtaHkAla hote-hote tInoMne parikramAke liye prasthAna kara diyaa| dasa mIla cala kara bhojana banAyA, bhojanase nivRtta hokara phira mArga calane lge| eka baje nImiyAghATa pahu~ca gye| yahA~ kucha vizrAma kara phira calane lge| Der3ha mIla calakara mArga bhUla gye| tRSAne bahuta staayaa| jo AdamI sAtha thA use bhI mArgakA patA nahIM thA, bar3e asamaMjasameM par3a gaye ! he bhagavAn ! yaha kyA Apatti A gaI ? jeThakA mahInA, madhyAhnakA samaya, mArgakA parizrama, nIrasa bhojanakA prabhAva Adi kAraNoMse pipAsA bar3hane lagI, kaNTha sUkhane lagA, becainIse cittameM aneka prakArake vicAra Ane lage, kucha sthira bhAva nahIM rhaa| prathama to yaha vicAra AyA ki bhavitavya durnivAra hai| kahA~ to yaha vicAra thA ki jisa prakAra vandanA nirvighna samApta ho gaI usI prakAra parikramA bhI nirvighna samApta ho jAvegI aura isa taraha pUrNa vandanAkA jo phala hai usake hama pAtra ho jAveMge, para aba to yaha vicAra AtA hai ki vandanAphala to kAlAntarako gyaa| isa samaya yadi maraNa ho gayA to niyamase narakagati hogii| yahA~ yaha kahAvata huI ki 'caube chabbe bananeke liye gaye para dube hI raha gaye' astu| phira yaha vicAra AyA ki zrIpArzvaprabhu saMsArake vighnahartA haiN| ravivArake dina aneka prANI jinaprabhukI pUjA karate haiM aura usase unheM saMkaTa svayameva palAyamAna ho jAte haiN| jaba ki bhagavAn pArzvanAthakA yaha varada hai taba hama yadi niSkapaTa pariNAmoMse unakA smaraNa kareMge to kyA yaha Apatti dUra na hogI ? yadyapi nirIhavRttise hI bhagavAnakA smaraNa karanA zreyomArgakA sAdhaka hai| hameM pAnIke liye bhakti karanA ucita na thaa| parantu kyA kareM ? usa samaya to hameM pAnIkI prApti muktise bhI adhika bhAna ho rahI thii| ataH hamane svargAdi viSayaka yAcanAoMko tuccha samajha kevala yahI yAcanA pArzvaprabhuse kI ki 'he prabho ! maiM pipAsAse bahuta hI vyAkula hU~, yaha merI prArthanA sAmAnya hai| ratnake badale yadi koI kA~cakA khaNDa mA~ge to denevAleko usameM kyA kSati ? he prabho ! jaba ki ApakI bhaktise vaha nirvANapada milatA hai jahA~ ki yaha koI roga hI nahIM hai taba kevala pAnI mA~ganevAle For Personal & Private Use Only

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54 merI jIvanagAthA manuSyako pAnI na mile yaha kyA nyAya hai ? athavA he nAtha ! Apa kyA kareMge ? maiMne janmAntarameM aisA hI karma arjana kiyA hogA ki girirAjakI parikramA kara tRSita ho prANa tyAgU~ / he bhagavan ! yaha bhI to AgamameM likhA hai ki atizaya vizuddhatAse pApa prakRtikA saMkramaNa ho jAtA hai! yadi ghuNAkSaranyAyase mere bhI isa samaya vaha ho jAve to kauna AzcaryakI bAta hai ? dekho to prabho ! yadi isa samaya merI apamRtyu ho gaI to yaha lAJchana kise lagegA ? Akhira logasamudAya yahI to kahegA ki zikharajIkI parikramAmeM tIna AdamI pAnIke binA prANa vihina ho gaye / jahA~ ananta prANI nirvANa lAbha kara cuke vahA~ kisI TI bhI devane inakI sahAyatA na kI / kadAcit yaha kaho ki paJcamakAlameM deva nahIM Ate so ThIka hai, kalpavAsI nahIM Ate parantu vyantarAdika to sarvatra haiN| unhoMne sahAyatA kyoM nahIM kI ? yaha bhI kahanA ki jaba pApakarma kA prabala udaya hotA hai taba koI sahAyaka nahI hotA, buddhimeM nahIM AtA, kyoMki he patitapAvana ! yadi hamAre pApakA prabala udaya hotA hai to isa bhayaMkara samayameM ApakI yAtrAke bhAva na hote| hamane yaha yAtrA kisI vAMchAse bhI nahIM kI hai / kevala Apake guNasmaraNake liye hI kI hai| hA~, merI yaha bhAvanA avazya thI ki eka bAra ApakI yAtrA karake manuSyajanma saphala karU~ / mujhe sampattikI icchA nahIM, kyoMki merA koI kuTumba nahIM hai aura na koI putrAdi kI hI vAMchA hai, kyoMki maiMne bahuta samaya se brahmacaryavrata le rakkhA hai / na koI anya vAMchA hI mujhe hai, kyoMki maiM janmase hI akiJcitkara huuN| yaha saba hone para bhI Aja niHsahAya hI pAnIke binA prANa gamAtA huuN| he prabho ! eka loTA pAnI mila jAve, yahI vinaya hai / yadi pAnI ke binA prANa cale gaye to kahA~ jAU~gA, isakA patA nahIM / yadi pipAsAse paraloka nahIM huA aura jIvita baca gayA taba janmabhara ApakA nAma to na bhUlU~gA, para itanA smaraNa avazya rahegA ki Apake darzanase maiM pipAsAkulita ho madhubana AyA thA / ataH he dInabandho ! kRpA kIjiye, jisase ki pAnIkA kuNDa mila jAve' ityAdi vikalpoMne AtmAkI dazA cintAtura banA dii| bAdameM yaha vicAra huA calo, bhAgyameM jo badA hai vahI hogA, phira bhI he prabho ! Apake nimittane kyA upakAra kiyA ? itanemeM antarAtmAse uttara milA - yaha pArzvanAthakA darabAra hai| isameM kaSTa honekA vikalpa chodd'o| jo bIcameM galI hai usIse prasthAna karo, avazya hI manobhilaSitakI pUrti ho jAvegI / hama tInoM eka pharlAMga cale gaye hoMge ki sAmane pAnIse labAlaba bharA For Personal & Private Use Only

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darzana aura parikramA T huA eka kuNDa dikhAI pdd'aa| dekhakara harSakA pArAvAra na rahA, mAno andheko netra mila gaye hoM yA daridrako nidhi ! ekadama tInoM AdamI kuNDake taTapara baiTha gaye / dekhakara hI tRSAkI zAnti ho gii| thor3I dera bAda jalapAna kiyA, phira prabhu pArzvake guNa gAna gAne lage - 'dhanya hai prabhu terI mahimA jaba ki ApakI mahimA prANiyoMko saMsAra - bandhana se mukta kara detI hai taba usase yaha kSudra bAdhA miTa gaI, isameM Azcarya hI kyA hai ? parantu mahArAja ! hama mohI jIva saMsArakI bAdhAoMke sahanemeM asamartha haiM, ataH ina kSudra kAryoMkI pUrtimeM hI bhaktike acintya bhAko kho dete heN| ApakA to yahA~ taka upadeza hai ki yadi mokSakI kAmanA hai to merI bhakti kI bhI upekSA kara do; kyoMki vaha saMsAra- bandhanakA kAraNa hai| jo kArya niSkAma kiyA jAtA hai vahI bandhana se mukta karanevAlA hai / jo bhI kArya karo usameM kartRtva buddhiko tyAgo.. ..ityAdi cintanA karate-karate bahuta samaya bIta gayA / sAthameM AdamIne kahA - 'zIghratA karo, abhI madhuvana yahA~se cAra mIla hai' hamane kahA- jisa prabhune isa bhayAnaka aTavImeM jalakuNDakA darzana karAyA vahI saba madhuvana phuNcaayegaa| aba hama to Anandase biyAlU kara jaba pArzvaprabhukI mAlA japa cukeMge taba cleNge|' AdamI bolA- 'haTha mata karo, agamya araNya hai, isameM bhayAnaka hiMsaka pazuoMkI bahulatA hai, ataH dinameM hI yahA~se calA jAnA acchA hai|' hamane eka na sunI aura Anandase kuNDake kinAre ArAmameM tIna ghaNTe bitA diye / pazcAt bhojana kara zrI NamokAra mantrakI mAlA pherI / dina asta ho gyaa| tInoM AdamI vahA~se madhuvanako cala diye aura Der3ha ghaNTemeM madhuvana pahu~ca gye| cAra mIla mArga Der3ha ghaNTemeM kaise taya ho gayA, yaha nahIM kaha skte| yaha kSetrakA atizaya thA / hamako to usa dinase dharmameM aisI zraddhA ho gaI jo bar3e-bar3e upadezoM aura zAstroMse bhI bahu parizrama sAdhya thI / AtmAkI acintya mahimA hai, yaha mithyAtvake dvArA prakaTa nahIM ho pAtI / yadi eka mithyAbhAva calA jAve to AtmAmeM Aja hI vaha sphUrti A jAve jo ananta saMsArake bandhanako kSaNamAtrameM dhvasta kara dete / parantu cU~ki anAdi kAlase anAtmIya padArthoMmeM isakI AtmIya buddhi ho rahI hai, ataH ApAparakA viveka nahIM ho pAtA / isa prakAra isa mithyAdarzanake prabhAvase jIvakI anAdi durdazA ho rahI hai / astu, sukhapUrvaka vandanA aura parikramA kara hama bahuta hI kRtakRtya hue| manameM yaha nizcaya kiyA ki ekabAra phira pArzvaprabhuke nirvANa kSetrakI 55 For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 56 vandanA kruuNgaa| maiMne prAyaH bahutase siddha-kSetroMkI vandanA kI hai, parantu pariNAmoM kI jo nirmalatA yahA~ huI usakI upamA anyatra nahIM miltii| yaha saba UhApoha honeke bAda so gaye aura prAtaHkAla prabhu pArzvanAthake darzanapUjana kara gireTIko prasthAna kara diyaa| yahA~se relameM baiThakara maiM maU calA gayA aura sAthI khurjaako| zrIzikharajIkI merI yaha yAtrA saMvat 1656 meM huI thii| zrI dulAra jhA maUse zrIbAIjI ke yahA~ simarA pahu~ca gyaa| bAIjIne kahA-'beTA ! kahA~se Aye ?' maiMne kahA-'khurajAse zrIgirirAjakI vandanAko gayA thA vahA~se A rahA huuN|' unhoMne kahA-'bar3A acchA kiyA, aba kucha dina yahIM raho aura zAstrasvAdhyAya kro|' maiMne Der3ha mAsa simarAmeM bitaayaa| anantara yaha sunA ki TIkamagar3hameM maithila dezake bar3e bhArI vidvAn dulAra jhA rAjAke yahA~ pramukha vidvAn haiM aura nyAyazAstrake apUrva vidvAn haiN| maiM unake pAsa calA gayA aura TIkamagar3hameM zrI nandakizorajI vaidyake yahA~ bhojana karane lgaa| usa samaya vahA~ brAhmaNa vidvAnoMkA bar3A bhArI samAgama thaa| dulAra jhA bahuta hI vyutpanna aura pratibhAzAlI vidvAna the| nyAyameM to unake sadRza vidvAn bhAratavarSameM do yA tIna hI nikleNge| unhoMne lagAtAra paccIsa varSa taka navadvIpa (nadiyAzAntipura) meM nyAyazAstrakA adhyayana kiyA thaa| unake samakSa zAstrArthameM acche-acche vidvAn parAsta ho jAte the| ____ maiM eka dina unake pAsa gayA aura unase bolA ki-mahArAja maiM Apase nyAyazAstra par3hanA cAhatA huuN| unhoMne pUchA-'kyA par3he ho ?' maiMne kahA-'kAzIkI madhyamAkA prathamakhaNDa nyAyakA par3hA hU~ aura usameM uttIrNa bhI ho gayA huuN| unhoMne kahA-'acchA, vyadhikaraNadharmAvacchinnAbhAva graMtha laao| maiMne kahA'mahArAja ! maiM to nAma sunakara hI ghabar3A gayA hU~, adhyayana to dUra rhaa| ve bole "cintA mata karo hama tumheM anAyAsa par3hA deveNge|' dUsare dinase unake pAsa maiMne muktAvalI, paJcalakSaNI, vyadhikaraNAdi graMthoMkA adhyayana kiyaa| unakI mere Upara bahuta anukampA thI, parantu unake eka vyavahArase merI unameM aruci ho gii| cUMki ve maithila the, ataH baliprathAke poSaka the-devIko bakarA caDhAnekA poSaNa karate the| maiMne kahA-'jIvoMkI rakSA karanA hI to dharma hai| jahA~ jIvaghAtameM dharma mAnA jAve vahA~ jitanI bhI bAhRA kriyAe~ haiM saba viphala haiN| dharma to vaha padArtha hai jisake dvArA yaha prANI saMsAra bandhanase mukta ho jAtA hai| For Personal & Private Use Only

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zrI dulAra jhA jahA~ prANIkA badha dharma batAyA jAve vahA~ dayAkA abhAva nizcita hai, jahA~ dayAkA abhAva hai| vahA~ dharmakA aMza nahIM, jahA~ dharma nahIM vahA~ saMsArase mukti nahIM / ataH mahArAja ! Apa itane vidvAn hokara bhI ina asat karmoMkI puSTi karate haiM - yaha sarvathA anucita hai|' mahArAja bole- 'beTA ! tumane abhI vedAdi zAstroMko dekhA nahIM, isase tumhArI buddhi vikAsase rahita hai| jisa dina tuma vidvAn ho jAoge usa dina Apase Apa isa baliprathAke poSaka ho jaaoge| dekho, zAstroMmeM hI likhA hai'yajJArthaM pazavaH sRSTA yajJArthaM pazughAtanam / atastvAM pAtayiSyAmi tasmAdyajJe vadho'vadhaH / / ' 57 ityAdi bahutase pramANa haiM, tuma vyartha zaMkA mata kro|' maiMne kahA'mahArAja ! zAstrakI kathA chor3iye, parantu anubhavase batAiye yadi maiM eka suI Apake aMgameM chedU~ to ApakI kyA dazA hogI ? jarA usakA anubhava kIjiye, pazcAt bali prathAkI puSTi kIjiye / cU~ki saMsAra bholA hai, ataH logone usakI vaJcanAke lie aise samarthaka bAkyoM dvArA anarthakArI pApapoSaka zAstroMkI racanA kI hai| logoMkA yaha prayatna kevala apanI AjIvikA siddha karaneke liye rahA hai| dekhiye, unhIM zAstroMmeM yaha vAkya bhI to milatA hai 'mA hiMsyAt sarvabhUtAni / ' kyA 'sarva' ke andara bakarA nahIM AtA ? isa saMsArameM anAdikAla se aneka prakArake duHkha bhogate-bhogate bar3I durlabhatAse yaha manuSya janma prApta ho sakA hai| ise yoM hI hiMsAdi kAryoMmeM lagA denA Apa jaise mahAn vidvAnko kyA ucita hai ? maiM to Apake sAmane tuccha buddhivAlA bAlaka hU~ / Apa hIke prasAdase merI nyAyazAstrameM par3hanekI ruci aura ApakI pAThanazailIko dekhakara ApameM merI atyanta zraddhA ho gaI / parantu ApakI pravRtti dekha merA hRdaya kampita ho uThatA hai aura hRdayameM yaha bhAva AtA hai ki mUrkha rahanA acchA kintu hiMsAko puSTa karanevAle adhyApakase vidyArjana karanA utkRSTa nahIM / yadyapi vidyAkA arjana karanA zreSTha hai, kyoMki vidyAke dvArA hI jJAnakA lAbha hotA hai aura jJAnase hI saba padArthoMkA paricaya hotA hai - yaha saba kucha hai parantu ApakI zraddhA dekha ApameM merI zraddhA nahIM rhii| Apa ina vAkyoMko zravaNakara mere prati kupita hoMge, para kupita honekI bAta nhiiN| Apa mere vidyAguru haiM / Apake dvArA merA upakAra huA hai / merA karttavya hai ki maiM ApakI viparIta zraddhAko palaTa dU~, yadyapi mere pAsa vaha tarka va pramANa nahIM hai jisake dvArA Apako yathArtha uttara de sakU~ / parantu merI zraddhA itanI sarala aura vizuddha hai ki hiMsA dvArA kAlatrayameM bhI dharma nahIM ho sakatA / Apa hiMsA vidhAyaka AgamoMko ekabAra AlamArImeM hI For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 58 rahane dIjiye aura apane antargata hRdayase parAmarza kIjiye ki hiMsA aura ahiMsAmeM saMsAra bandhanakI chedana karanekI zakti kisameM hai ? jo ApakA hRdaya mAne usI para zraddhA rakhiye, zaMkita zraddhAko haTAiye / ' mahArAja vRddha the, bole- 'beTA! tuma ThIka kahate ho, parantu hamArI jo zraddhA hai vaha kulaparamparAse calI A rahI hai| isake sivAya hamAre yahA~ yaha vyavahAra bhI calA AtA hai ki navadurgAmeM balidAna krnaa| ina donoMke sAtha Agama bhI milatA hai, ataH ise hama ekadama tyAga deveM, yaha kaThina hai ! tumhArI bAtako hama AdarakI dRSTise dekhate haiM- itanA hI bahuta smjho| tumheM ucita to yaha thA ki adhyayana karate, isa vyarthake vivAdameM na pdd'te|' maiMne kahA'mahArAja ! yaha vivAda vyartha nahIM / Akhira paThana-pAThanakA yahI to prayojana hai ki hitAhitako pahicAnanA, yadi yaha na pahicAna sake to par3hanese kyA lAbha ? udara-poSaNake liye vidyAkA arjana nhiiN| vaha to kAka-mArjAra Adi bhI kara lete haiM / manuSya janma pAkara yadi unakA prayojana udarapoSaNa taka hI sImita rakkhA to Apa hI batalAiye usakI vizeSatA kyA rahI ? manuSyajanma to mokSakA mApaka hai / usake dvArA ina hiMsAdi kAryoMkA poSaNa karanA kahA~kA nyAya hai ?' bahuta kucha bAta huI para unakA prabhAva na hamapara par3A aura na hamArA prabhAva unapara pdd'aa| antameM maiMne yahI nizcaya kiyA ki yahA~se anyatra calA jAnA hI uttama hai / vaza, kyA thA ? vahA~se calakara simarA calA AyA / paM. ThAkuradAsajI 1 saMvat 1660 kI bAta hai| bAIjIse AjJA lekara zrImAn paM. ThAkuradAsajIke yahA~ haripura calA gayA / yaha grAma ilAhAbAdase pUrva jhA~sIse pandraha mIlapara haMDiyA tahasIlameM hai / paNDitajIkA mere Upara atisneha thA, ataH Anandase prameyakamalamArtaNDa par3hane lagA / siddhAntakaumudIkA bhI kucha aMza par3hA thaa| paNDitajI isI samaya yogavAziSThakI hindI TIkA karate the| maiMne bhI kucha use pddh'aa| vedAntaviSayaka carcA usameM thI / eka jaja sAhaba the, jo ki saMsArase virakta the| unhoMne hRSIkezameM eka Azrama banavAyA jisameM eka lAkha rupayA lagAyA / ekAntameM dharmasAdhanakI ruci rakhanevAloMko vahA~ Azraya milatA thaa| paM. ThAkuradAsajIkA ukta jaja sAhabase bahuta sneha thA / paNDitajIke gharapara maiM tIna yA cAra mAsa rhaa| eka dina paNDitajIne For Personal & Private Use Only

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paM. ThAkuradAsajI kahA-'hAthase bhojana mata banAyA karo, tumhArI mA~ banA deNgii| mA~jIne kahA-kA beTA ! kyoM kaSTa uThAte ho ? hamAre yahA~ bhojana kara liyA kro| maiMne kahA-mA~jI ThIka hai parantu Apake yahA~ na to pAnI chAnA jAtA hai aura na DhImarake jalakA paraheja hI hai| sAtha hI hameM zAmako bhojana na mila skegaa|' mA~jIne bar3e premase uttara diyA-'jisa prakAra tuma kahoge usI prakAra bhojana banA dUMgI aura hama loga bhI rAtrikA bhojana zAmako hI kara liyA kareMge ataH tumheM zAmakA bhojana milanemeM kaThinAI na hogii|' lAcAra maiMne unake yahA~ bhojana karanA svIkAra kara liyaa| eka dinakI bAta hai-paNDitajIkA eka ziSya bhA~ga pItA thA, usane mujhase kahA ki 'mahAdevajIke sAkSAt darzana karanA ho to tuma bhI eka golI khaalo|' maiM usakI bAtoMmeM A gyaa| vaha bolA ki 'bhA~gakA nazA Aneke bAda hI mahAdevajIkA sAkSAt darzana hone lgegaa| maiMne vicAra kiyA ki mujhe zrIjinendradevake sAkSAt darzana hone lgegeN| aisA vicAra kara maiMne bhA~gakI eka golI khA lii| eka ghaNTA bAda jaba bhA~gakA nazA A gayA taba pustaka lekara paNDitajIke pAsa par3haneke lie gyaa| vahA~ jAkara paNDitajIse bolA'mahArAja ! Aja to par3haneko citta nahIM cAhatA, sonA mA~gatA huuN|' paNDitajI mahArAjane aise asamaMjasa vacana suna kara nizcaya kara liyA ki Aja yaha bhI usa bha~ger3Ike cakkarameM A gayA hai| unhoMne kahA-'so jaao|' maiMne kahA-'acchA jAtA hU~, sonekI ceSTA kruuNgaa|' jAkara khATapara leTa gyaa| paNDitajIne mA~jIse kahA-'dekho, Aja isane bha~ga pI lI hai, ataH ise dahI aura khaTAI khilA do| maiMne usa nazAkI dazAmeM bhI vicAra kiyA ki maiM to rAtrike samaya pAnIke sivAya kucha letA nahIM, para Aja pratijJA bhaMga hotI dikhatI hai| ukta vicAra manameM AyA thA ki paNDitajI mahArAja dahI aura khaTAI lekara pahu~ca gaye tathA kahane lage-'lo, yaha khaTAI va dahI khA lo, tumhArA nazA utara jaavegaa| maiMne kahA'mahArAja ! maiM to rAtrike samaya pAnIke sivAya kucha bhI nahIM letA, yaha dahI-khaTAI kaise lU~ ?' paNDitajIne DA~Tate hue kahA-"bha~ga pIneko jainI na the|' maiMne kahA-mahArAja maiM zAstrArtha nahIM karanA cAhatA, kRpA kara mujhe zayana karane diijiye| paNDitajI vivaza hokara cale gaye, maiM pachatAtA huA par3A rhaa| bar3I galatI kI jo bha~ga pIkara paNDitajIkI avinaya kii| kisI taraha rAtri For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 60 bIta gaI, prAtaHkAla sokara utthaa| paNDitajIke caraNoMmeM par3a gayA aura bar3e duHkhake sAtha kahA ki mahArAja ! mujhase bar3I galatI huii| jainatvakA apamAna yahA~ para kucha dina rahakara saMvat 1661 meM banArasa calA gayA, yahA~ para dharmazAlAmeM tthhraa| binA kAryake kucha upayoga sthira nahIM rakha sakA-yoM hI bhramaNa karatA rhaa| kabhI gaMgAke kinAre calA jAtA thA aura kabhI mandAkinI (maiMdAginI) parantu phira bhI cittako zAnti nahIM milatI thii| usa samaya kvInsa kAlejameM nyAyake mukhya adhyApaka jIvanAtha mizra the| bahuta hI pratibhAzAlI vidvAn the| ApakI ziSyamaNDalImeM aneka ziSya prakhara buddhike dhAraka the| eka dina maiM unake nivAsa sthAna para gayA aura praNAma kara mahArAjase nivedana kiyA ki 'mahArAja ! mujhe nyAyazAstra par3hanA hai yadi ApakI AjJA ho to Apake batAye hue samayase Apake pAsa AyA kruuN| maiMne eka rupayA bhI unake caraNoMmeM bheMTa kiyaa| paNDitajIne pUchA-'kauna brAhmaNa ho ?' sunate hI aMtaraMgameM coTa phuNcii| manameM AyA-'he prabho ! yaha kahA~kI Apatti A gaI ?' avAk raha gayA, kucha uttara nahIM suujhaa| antameM nirbhIka hokara kahA-'mahArAja ! maiM brAhmaNa nahIM hU~ aura na kSatriya hU~, vaizya hU~, yadyapi merA kaulika mata zrIrAmakA upAsaka thA-sRSTikartA paramAtmAmeM mere vaMzake logoMkI zraddhA thI aura Aja taka calI bhI A rahI hai parantu mere pitAkI zraddhA jainadharmameM dRr3ha ho gaI tathA merA vizvAsa bhI jainadharmameM dRr3ha ho gyaa| aba ApakI jo icchA ho, so kiijiye| zrImAn naiyAyikajI ekadama AvegameM A gaye aura rupayA pheMkate hue bole-'cale jAo, hama nAstika logoMko nahIM par3hAte / tuma loga Izvarako nahIM mAnate ho aura na vedameM hI tuma logoMkI zraddhA hai, jAo yhaaNse| maiMne kahA-'mahArAja ! itanA kupita honekI bAta nhiiN| Akhira hama bhI to manuSya haiM, itanA Avega kyoM ? Apa to vidvAn haiM sAtha hI prathama zreNIke mAnanIya vidvAnoMmeM mukhyatama haiN| Apa hI isakA nirNaya kIjiye-jaba ki sRSTikartA hai taba usane hI to hamako banAyA hai| tathA hamArI jo zraddhA hai usakA bhI nimittakAraNa vahI hai| kAryAntargata hamArI zraddhA bhI to eka kArya hai|. jaba kAryamAtrake prati Izvara nimittakAraNa hai taba Apa hamako kyoM dhUsate ho ? Izvarake prati kupita honA caahie| Akhira usane hI to apane viruddha puruSoMkI sRSTikI hai yA phira yoM kahiye ki hama jainoMko chor3akara anyakA kartA hai aura For Personal & Private Use Only

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jainatvakA apamAna yathArthameM yadi aisA hai to kAryatva hetu vyabhicArI huaa| yadi merA kahanA satya hai to ApakA hama para kupita honA nyAyasaMgata nhiiN|' zrI naiyAyikajI mahArAja bole-'zAstrArtha karane Aye ho ?' maiMne kahA-'mahArAja ! yadi zAstrArtha karane yogya pANDitya hotA to Apake sAmane ziSya bananekI ceSTA kyoM karatA ? khedake sAtha kahanA par3atA hai ki Apa jaise mahApuruSa bhI aise-aise zabdoMkA prayoga karate haiM jo sAdhAraNa puruSake liye bhI sarvathA asaMgata hai| vahI manuSyatA AdaraNIya hotI hai jisameM zAntimArgakI avahelanA na ho| Apa tarkazAstrameM advitIya vidvAn hai phira mere sAtha itanA niSThura vyavahAra kyoM karate haiM ? naiyAyikajI tevarI car3hAte hue bole-'tuma bar3e dhITha ho, jo kucha bhI bhASaNa karate ho usameM Izvarake astitvakA lopa kara eka nAstika matakI hI puSTi karate ho| maiMne ThIka hI to kahA hai ki tuma nAstika ho-vedanindaka ho, tumako vidyA par3hAnA sarpako dugdha aura mizrI khilAneke sadRza hogaa| gur3a aura dugdha pilAnese kyA sarpa nirbiSa ho sakatA hai ? tuma jaise haThagrAhI manuSyoMko nyAyavidyAkA paNDita banAnA nAstikamata kI puSTi karanA hai| jAnate ho-IzvarakI mahimA acintya hai| usIke prabhAvase yaha saba vyavahAra cala rahA hai| yadi yaha na hotA to Aja saMsArameM nAstika matakI prabhutA ho jaatii| naiyAyikajI yaha kahakara hI santuSTa nahIM hue, Deska para hAtha paTakate hue jorase bole-'hamAre sthAnase nikala jaao| maiMne kahA-'mahArAja ! Akhira jaba Apako mujhase saMbhASaNa karanekI icchA nahIM taba agatyA jAnA hI zreyaskara hogaa| kintu kheda hotA hai ki Apa advitIya tArkika vidvAn hokara bhI mere sAtha aisA vyavahAra karate haiN| merI samajhameM to yahI AtA hai ki Apa svayaM Izvarako nahIM mAnate aura hamase kahate ho ki tuma nAstika ho| jaba IzvarakI icchAke binA koI kArya nahIM hotA taba hama kyA IzvarakI icchAke binA hI ho gaye ? nahIM hue taba Apa jAkara Izvarase jhagar3A karo ki Apane aise-aise nAstika kyoM banAye jo ki ApakA astitva hI svIkAra nahIM krte| Apa mujhase kahate haiM ki cU~ki tuma vedanindaka ho ataH nAstika ho, parantu antardRSTise parAmarza karane para mAlUma ho sakatA hai ki hama vedake nindaka haiM yA Apa ? veda meM likhA hai-'mA hiMsyAtsarvabhUtAni' arthAt yAvantaH prANinaH santi te na hiMsyAH-jitane prANI haiM ve ahiMsya haiN| aba Apa hI batalAiye ki jo matsya-mAMsAdikA bhakSaNa kareM, devatAko balipradAna kareM aura zrAddhameM pitRtRptike liye mAMsapiNDakA dAna kareM For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA ve vedako na mAnanevAle haiM yA hamaloga, jo ki jalAdi jIvoMkI bhI rakSA karanekI ceSTA karate haiN| IzvarakI sRSTimeM sabhI jIva haiM taba Apako kyA adhikAra hai ki sRSTikartAkI racI huI sRSTikA ghAta kareM aura aise-aise nimnAMkita vAkya vedameM prakSipta kara jagatko asanmArgameM pravRtta kareM yajJArthaM pazavaH sRSTA yajJArthaM pshughaatnm| __ atastvAM ghAtayiSyAmi tasmAdyajJe vadho'vadhaH / / aura isa 'mA hiMsyAt sarvabhUtAni' vAkyako apanI indriyatRptike liye apavAda vAkya kaheM ? khedake sAtha kahanA par3atA hai ki Apa svayaM to vedako mAnate nahIM aura hama para lAMchana dete haiM ki jaina loga vedake nindaka haiN|' paNDitajI phira bole-'Aja kaise nAdAnake sAtha saMbhASaNa karanekA avasara AyA ? kyoM jI, tamase kaha diyA na ki yahA~se cale jAo, tuma mahAn asabhya ho, Aja taka tumameM bhASaNa karane kI bhI yogyatA na AI, kina grAmINa manuSyoM ke sAtha tumhArA samparka rahA ? aba yadi bahuta bakajhaka karoge to kAna pakar3a kara bAhara nikAla diye jAoge / ' jaba paNDitajI mahArAja yaha bAta kaha cuke, taba maiMne kahA-'mahArAja ! Apa kahate haiM ki tuma bar3e asabhya ho, grAmINa ho, zarArata karate ho, nikAla diye jaaoge| mahArAja ! maiM to Apake pAsa isa abhiprAyase AyA thA ki dUsare hI dina uSaHkAlase nyAyazAstrakA adhyayana karU~gA, para phala yaha huA ki kAna pakar3ane takakI naubata A gii| aparAdha kSamA ho, Apa hI batAiye ki asabhya kise kahate haiM ? aura mahArAja ! kyA yaha vyApti hai ki grAmavAsI hoM ve asabhya hI hoM, aisA niyama to nahIM jAna par3atA, anyathA isa banArasa nagarameM jo ki bhAratavarSameM saMskRta bhASAke vidvAnoM kA pramukha kendra hai guNDAbraja nahIM honA cAhie thA aura yahA~ para jo bAharase grAmavAsI bar3e-bar3e dhurandara vidvAn kAzIvAsa karaneke liye Ate haiM unheM sabhya koTimeM nahIM AnA cAhie thaa| sAtha hI mahArAja ! Apa bhI to grAmanivAsI hI hoNge| tathA kRpA kara yaha to samajhA dIjiye ki sabhyakA kyA lakSaNa hai ? kevala vidyAkA pANDitya hI to sabhyatAkA niyAmaka nahIM hai, sAthameM sadAcAra guNa bhI honA caahie| maiM to bArambAra natamastaka hokara Apake sAtha vyavahAra kara rahA hU~ aura Apa mere liye usI nAstika zabdakA prayoga kara rahe haiM ! mahArAja ! saMsArameM usIkA manuSya janma prazaMsanIya hai jo rAga-dveSase pare ho| jinake rAgadveSakI kaluSatA hai vaha cAhe bRhaspati tulya bhI vidvAn kyoM na hoM IzvarAjJAke pratikUla honese adhomArgako hI jAnevAlA hai| ApakI mAnyatAke For Personal & Private Use Only

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jainatvakA apamAna 63 anusAra Izvara cAhe jo ho, parantu usakI yaha AjJA kadApi nahIM ho sakatI ki kisI prANIke cittako kheda kara pahu~cAo / anyakI kathA chor3o, nItikArakA bhI kahanA hai ki 'ayaM nijaH paro veti gaNanA laghucetasAm / udAracaritAnAM tu vasudhaiva kuTumbakam / / ' parantu Apane mere sAtha aise madhura zabdoM meM vyavahAra kiyA ki merI AtmA jAnatI hai / merA to nijI vizvAsa hai ki sabhya vahI hai jo apane hRdayako pApa-paGkase alipta rakkhe, AtmahitameM pravRtti kre| kevala zAstrakA adhyayana saMsAra-bandhanase mukta karanekA mArga nhiiN| totA rAma-rAma uccAraNa karatA hai parantu rAmake marmase anabhijJa hI rahatA hai / isI taraha bahuta zAstroMkA bodha hone para bhI jisane apane hRdayako nirmala nahIM banAyA usase jagatkA kyA upakAra hogA ? upakAra to dUra rahA, anupakAra hI hogaa| kisI nItikArane ThIka hI kahA hai - 'vidyA vivAdAya dhanaM madAya zaktiH pareSAM paripIDanAya / khalasya sAdhorviparItametat jJAnAya dAnAya ca rakSaNAya / / yadyapi maiM Apake samakSa bolanemeM asamartha hU~, kyoMki Apa vidvAn haiM, rAjamAnya haiM, brAhmaNa haiM tathA usa dezake haiM jahA~ grAma-grAmameM vidvAn haiM / phira bhI prArthanA karatA hU~, ki Apa zayana samaya vicAra kIjiyegA ki manuSya ke sAtha aisA anucita vyavahAra karanA kyA sabhyatAke anukUla thA / samayakI balavattA hai ki jisa dharmake pravartaka vItarAga sarvajJa the aura jisa nagarImeM zrI pArzvanAtha tIrthakarakA janma huA thA, Aja usI nagarImeM jainadharmake mAnanevAloMkA itanA tiraskAra / ' unake sAtha kahA~ taka bAtacIta huI likhanA bekAra hai / antameM unhoMne yahI uttara diyA ki yahA~se cale jAo, isImeM tumhArI bhalAI hai| maiM cupacApa vahA~se cala diyA aura mArgameM bhAgyakI nindA tathA paJcama kAlake duSprabhAvakI mahimAkA smaraNa karatA huA zrImandAkinI Akara koTharImeM rudana karane lagA, para sunanevAlA kauna thA ? For Personal & Private Use Only

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64 merI jIvanagAthA gurudevakI khojameM sAyaMkAlakA samaya thA, kucha jalapAna kiyA / anantara zrI pArzvanAtha svAmIke mandirameM jAkara sAyaMkAlakI vandanAse nivRtta ho koTharImeM Akara so gyaa| so to gayA, para nidrAkA aMza bhI nhiiN| sAmane vahI naiyAyikajI mahArAjake sthAnakA dRzya andhakAra hote hue bhI dRzya ho rahA thA / nAnA vikalpoMkI laharI manameM AtI thI aura vilaya jAtI thI / manameM AtA ki he prabho ! yaha vahI vArANasI hai jahA~ Apake garbhameM Aneke pahale chaH mAsa paryanta tInoM samaya avirala ratnadhArA barasatI thI aura jisakI saMkhyA pratidina sAr3he dasa karor3a hotI thI / isa taraha chaH mAsa garbhase prAk aura nau mAsa jaba taka Apa garbhameM rahe the, isI prakAra ratnadhArA barasatI thii| Aja usI nagarImeM Apake siddhAMta-pathapara calanevAloM para yaha vAgvajra-varSA ho rahI hai / he prabho ! kyA kareM ? kahA~ jAveM ? koI upAya nahIM sUjhatA / kyA ApakI janma nagarIse maiM viphala manoratha hI dezako calA jAU~ ? isa tarahake vicAra karate-karate kucha nidrA A gii| svapnameM kyA dekhatA hU~ ki - eka sundara manuSya sAmane khar3A hai, kahatA hai- 'kyoM bhAI ! udAsa kyoM ho ?' maiMne kahA- Apako kyA prayojana ? na Apase hamArA paricaya hai aura na Apase hama kucha kahate haiM, phira tumane kaise jAna liyA ki maiM udAsIna hU~ ?' usa bhale AdamIne kahA ki 'tumhArA mukha vaivarNya tumhAre zokako kaha rahA hai|' maiMne use iSTa samajhakara naiyAyika mahArAjakI pUrI kathA sunA dii| use sunakara kahA - 'ronese kisI kAryakI siddhi nahIM hotI / puruSArtha karanese mokSalAbha ho jAtA hai phira vidyAkA lAbha kaunasI bhArI bAta e / ' maiMne kahA - 'hamArI paristhiti aisI nahIM ki hama kucha kara skeN|' Agantuka magazayane sAntvanA dete hue kahA - 'cintA mata karo, puruSArtha karo, saba kucha hogA / duHkha karanese pApa hI kA bandha hogA aura puruSArtha karanese abhISTa phalakI siddhi hogI / tumhAre parama hitaiSI bAbA bhAgIrathajI haiM unheM bulAo, unake dvArA Apako bahuta sahAyatA milegii| hama vizvAsa dilAte haiM ki unakA tumhArA sAtha AmRtyu rhegaa| vaha bahuta hI niHspRha aura tumhAre zubhacintaka haiM / una jaisA tumhArA mitra 'na bhUto na bhaviSyati / zIghra hI unako bulAnekI ceSTA karo, unake Ate hI tumhArA kArya siddha hogaa| tuma donoM yahA~ para eka pAThazAlA kholanekA prayatna karo, maiM vizvAsa dilAtA hU~ ki tumhArA manoratha zrutapaJcamI taka niyamase pUrNa hogaa|' maiMne kahA - 'itanI kathA kyA karate ho ? kyA tuma avadhijJAnI ho, isa kAlameM itane jJAnI nahIM dekhe jAte / For Personal & Private Use Only

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gurudevakI khoja meM 65 athavA sambhava hai ApakA nimittajJAna ThIka bhI ho, kyoMki khurjAke eka jyotiSIne hamase jo kahA thA vaha yathArtha huA / hama Apako koTizaH dhanyavAda dete haiM aura icchA karate haiM ki Apake vAkya saphalIbhUta hoM / ' Agantuka mahAzayane kahA-'dhanyavAda apane pAsa rakhiye, kintu vizuddha pariNAmoMse puruSArtha karo, saba kucha hogA, acchA hama jAte haiM / ' itanemeM nidrA bhaMga ho gaI, dekhA to kahIM kucha nahIM / prAtaH kAlake 5 baje hoMge, hAtha paira dhokara zrIpArzvaprabhukI smRtike liye baiTha gayA aura isImeM sUryodaya ho gayA / pakSIgaNa kalarava karane lage, manuSyagaNa jayadhvani karate hue mandirameM Ane lge| maiM bhI snAnAdi kriyAse nivRtta ho zrIpArzvanAtha svAmIke pUjanAdi kArya kara paJcAyatI mandirameM vandanAke nimitta calA gayA / vahA~se bAjAra bhramaNa karatA huA calA AyA / bhojanAdise nivRtta hokara gaMgAjIke ghATa para calA gayA / sahasroM nara-nArI snAna kara rahe the, jaya gaMge, jaya vizvanAthake zabdase ghATa gU~ja rahA thA / vahA~se calakara vizvanAthajIke mandirakA dRzya dekhaneke liye calA gayA / vahA~ para eka mahAnubhAva mila gaye, 'bole kahA~ Aye ho ?' maiMne kahA- 'vizvanAthajIkA mandira dekhane Aye haiN|' 'kyA dekhA ?' unhoMne kahA / maiMne uttara diyA- 'jo Apane dekhA so hamane dekhA / dekhanA kAma to A~khakA hai, sabakI A~kha dekhanekA hI kArya karatI hai| hA~, Apa mahAdevake upAsaka haiM - Apane dekhaneke sAtha manameM yaha vicAra kiyA hogA ki 'he prabho ! mujhe sAMsArika yAtanAoMse mukta kro| maiM jainI hU~, ataH yaha bhAvanA mere hRdayameM nahIM aaii| pratyuta yaha smaraNa AyA ki mahAdeva to bhagavAn Adideva 'nAbhinandana RSabhadeva haiM jinhoMne svayaM AtmakalyANa kiyA aura jagatke prANiyoMko kalyANakA mArga drshaayaa| isa mandirameM jo mUrti hai, usakI AkRtise to AtmazuddhikA kucha bhI bhAva nahIM hotA / ' usa mahAzayane kahA - 'vizeSa bAta mata karo, anyathA koI paNDA A gayA to sarvanAza ho jaayegaa| yahA~se zIghra hI cale jaao|' maiMne kahA--'acchA jAtA huuN|' jAte-jAte mArgameM eka zvetAmbara vidyAlaya mila gayA, maiM usameM calA gyaa| vahA~ dekhA ki aneka chAtra saMskRta adhyayana kara rahe haiM, aneka sAdhu, jinake zarIra para pIta vastra the, ve bhI adhyayana kara rahe haiN| sAhitya, nyAya tathA dharmazAstrakA adhyayana ho rahA hai| maiMne pAThazAlAdhyakSa zrI dharmavijaya For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 66 sUriko vinayake sAtha praNAma kiyaa| Apane pUchA-'kauna haiM ?' maiMne kahA--'jainI huuN|' unhoMne kahA-'kisa dharmake upAsaka ho aura yahA~ kisa prayojanase Aye ho ?' maiMne kahA-'digambara sampradAyakA mAnanevAlA hU~, yahA~ anAyAsa hI A gayA-koI uddezya AnekA na thaa| hA~, banArasa isa uddezyase AyA hU~ ki saMskRtakA adhyayana kruuN|' unhoMne kahA-'kahA~ taka adhyayana kiyA hai ?' maiMne kahA--nyAya madhyamAke prathama khaNDameM uttIrNa hU~ aura aba isI viSayakA Age adhyayana karanA cAhatA huuN| parantu yahA~ para koI par3hAneko rAjI nhiiN| kala maiM eka naiyAyika mahodayake samIpa gayA thaa| unhoMne par3hAnA svIkAra bhI kara liyA aura kahA ki kalase aanaa| parantu jaba unhoMne pUchA ki 'kauna brAhmaNa ho ?' taba maiMne kahA-'brAhmaNa nahIM jainadharmAnuyAyI vaizya hU~ | basa kyA thA, jainakA nAma sunate hI unhoMne marmabhedI zabdoMkA prayoga kara apane sthAnase nikAla diyaa| yahI merI rAmakathA hai| Aja isI cintAmeM bhaTakatA-bhaTakatA yahA~ A gayA huuN|' 'basa, aura kucha kahanA cAhate ho, nahIM to hamAre sAtha calo, hama tumako nyAyazAstrameM advitIya vyutpanna zAstrIke pAsa le calate haiN| ve hamAre yahA~ adhyApaka haiN|' maiM zrI dharmavijaya sUrike sAtha zrI ambAdAsajI zAstrIke pAsa pahu~ca gyaa| Apa chAtroMko adhyayana karA rahe the| maiMne bar3I namratAke sAtha mahArAjako praNAma kiyaa| unhoMne AzIrvAda dete hue baiThanekA Adeza diyA aura mere AnekA kAraNa puuchaa| maiMne jo kucha vRttAnta thA akSarazaH sunA diyaa| isake anantara zrIyuta zAstrIjI bole-'kyA cAhate ho ?' maiMne kahA-'cAhanese kyA hotA hai ? merI to cAha itanI hai ki saba vidyAoMkA paNDita ho jAU~ / parantu bhAgya to anukUla nahIM, daivake anukUla hue binA hAthakA grAsa mukhameM AnA asaMbhava ho jAtA hai| zrI dharmavijaya sUri mahArAjane kahA ki tuma cintA mata karo, yahA~ para Ao aura zAstrIjIse adhyayana karo, tumheM koI roka-Toka nhiiN| maiMne kahA-'mahArAja ! ApakA kahanA bahuta santoSaprada hai, parantu sAthameM merA yaha kahanA hai ki maiM digambara sampradAyakA hU~ ataH merI zraddhA nirgrantha sAdhumeM hai| Apa sAdhu haiM, loga Apako sAdhu-muni kahate bhI haiM para maiM jo vastradhArI haiM unheM sAdhu nahIM mAnatA, kyoMki digambara sampradAyameM eka laMgoTImAtra parigraha honese zrAvaka saMjJA ho jAtI hai ityaadi| aba Apa hI batalAiye yadi maiMne Apake ziSyavargakI taraha ApakI vandanA na kI to Apake cittameM anAyAsa kSobha ho jAvegA aura usa samaya Apake mere prati kyA bhAva hoMge so, Apa hI For Personal & Private Use Only

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syAdvAda vidyAlayakA udghATana 67 jAna sakate haiN| ataH maiM adhyayanakA suavasara milate hue bhI use kho rahA huuN| Apake ziSTa vyavahArase merI ApameM zraddhA hai, Apa mahAna vyakti haiN| parantu cUMki jina matameM sAdhukA jaisA svarUpa kahA hai vaisA ApameM nahIM pAtA, ataH zraddhA hote hue bhI sAdhu-zraddhA nhiiN| maiM aba Apako praNAma karatA hU~ aura apane nivAsa sthAnapara jAtA huuN| jAnekI ceSTA kara hI rahA thA ki itane meM zrIzAstrIjIne kahA ki 'abhI Thaharo, eka ghaNTA bAda hama yahA~se caleMge, tuma hamAre sAtha clnaa| maiMne kahA-'mahArAja ! jo AjJA / ' __ zAstrIjI adhyayana karAne lage, maiM ApakI pAThana-praNAlIko dekha kara mugdha ho gyaa| manameM AyA ki yadi aise vidvAnse nyAyazAstrakA adhyayana kiyA jAve to anAyAsa hI mahatI vyutpatti ho jAve / eka ghaNTAke bAda zrIzAstrIjIke sAtha pIche-pIche calatA huA unake ghara pahu~ca gyaa| unhoMne bar3e snehake sAtha bAtacIta kI aura kahA ki 'tuma hamAre yahA~ Ao, hama tumheM pddh'aayeNge|' unase premase ota-prota vacana zravaNakara merA samasta kleza eka sAtha calA gyaa| vahA~se calakara maMdAkinI AyA, yahA~se zAstrIjIkA makAna do mIla par3atA thA, pratidina paidala jAnemeM kaSTa hotA thA, ataH vahA~se DerA uThAkara zrIbhadainIke mandirameM jo assIghATake Upara hai calA aayaa| yahA~ para zrI badrIdAsa pujArI rahate the jo bahuta hI ucca prakRtike jIva the| unake sahavAsameM rahane lagA aura eka patra zrI bAbAjIko DAla diyaa| usa samaya Apa AgarAmeM rahate the| banArasake saba samAcAra usameM likha diye, sAtha hI yaha bhI likha diyA ki mahArAja ! Apake zubhAgamanase saba hI kArya sampanna hogA, ataH Apa patra dekhate hI cale aaiye| mahArAja patra pAte hI banArasa A gye| syAdvAda vidyAlayakA udghATana mAghakA mahInA thA, sardI khUba par3atI thI, maiM apanA bhojana svayaM banAtA thaa| bAbAjI aura hama donoM bhojanAdise nivRtta hokara 24 ghaNTA yahI carcA karate the ki kaunase upAyoMkA avalambana kiyA jAve jisase kAzImeM eka digambara vidyAlaya sthApita ho jaave| itanemeM hI banArasameM agravAla mahAsabhAkA jalasA huaa| rAjaghATake sTezanake pAsa sabhAkA maNDapa lagA thaa| maiMne bAbAjIse kahA-'mahArAja ! hama loga bhI sabhA dekhaneke liye cleN|' bAbAjIne saharSa calanA svIkRta kiyaa| hama, For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA bAbAjI tathA kAmA jilA mathurAke jhammanalAlajI-tInoM vyakti eka sAtha sabhAsthAna para phuNce| sabhAkI vyavasthA dekhakara bahuta hI prasannatA huii| acche-acche vyAkhyAna zravaNagocara hue, hama bhI cAra minaTa bole| jaba hama loga sabhAse lauTe taba mArgameM yahI carcAkA viSaya thA ki yahA~ digambara jaina vidyAlaya kaba sthApita hogA ! ise sunakara jhammanalAlajI kAmAvAloMne eka rupayA vidyAlayakI sahAyatAke liye diyaa| maiMne bar3I prasannatAse rupayA le liyaa| bAbAjIne kahA-'bhAI ! eka rupayAse kyA hogA ?' maiMne kahA-'mahArAja ! ApakA AzIrvAda hI saba kucha kregaa| jarAse bIjase hI to vaTakA mahAn vRkSa ho jAtA hai jisake talameM hajAroM nara-nArI pazu-pakSIgaNa Azraya pAte haiN| kauna jAne ? vIra prabhune yaha eka rupayA hI jaina vidyAlayake utthAnakA mUla-kAraNa dekhA ho| maiMne zrI jhammanalAlajIko sahasroM dhanyavAda diye aura mArgameM hI posTaAphisase 64 posTakArDa le liye| yaha smaraNa AyA ki 'avazyaM bhAvino bhAvA bhavanti mhtaampi| nagnatvaM nIlakaNThasya mahAhizayanaM hareH / / yahI nizcaya kiyA jo honevAlA hai vaha avazya hogaa| bar3e harSake sAtha nivAsa sthAna para aaye| sAyaMkAla ho gayA, jalapAna kara chatake Upara zrI pArzvaprabhuke mandirameM darzana kiye aura vahIM gaMgAjIke sammukha sAmAyika kii| manameM yaha bhAva AyA ki he prabho ! kyA Apake jJAnameM kAzInagarImeM hama logoMko sAkSara honA nahIM dekhA gayA hai ? antarAtmAse uttara milatA hai ki 'nahIM zabdako miTA do / avazya hI tuma logoMke liye isI sthAna para vidyAkA aisA Ayatana hogA, jisameM uccakoTike vidvAn banakara dharmakA prasAra kreNge| jAo Ajase hI puruSArtha karane kI ceSTA kro|' kyA kareM ? manameM prazna huaa| antarAtmAne yahI uttara diyA ki kharIde hue posTakArDoMkA upayoga kro| vahA~se Akara rAtriko hI 64 posTakArDa likhakara 64 sthAnoMpara bheja diye| unameM yaha likhA thA ki vArANasI jaisI vizAla nagarImeM jahA~ hajAroM chAtra saMskRta-vidyAkA adhyayana kara apane ajJAnAndhakArakA nAza kara rahe hoM, vahA~ para hama jaina chAtroMko par3hanekI suvidhA na ho| jahA~ para chAtroMko bhojana pradAna karaneke liye saikar3oM bhojanAlaya vidyamAna hoM, vahA~ adhikakI bAta jAne do, pA~ca jaina chAtroM ke lie bhI nirvAha For Personal & Private Use Only

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syAdvAda vidyAlayakA udghATana 69 yogya sthAna na ho / jahA~ para zvetAmbara samAjakA yazovijaya vidyAlaya hai jisake bhavya bhavanako dekhakara cakAcauMdha A jAtI hai, jahA~ para 20 sAdhu aura 10 chAtra zvetAmbara jaina sAhityakA adhyayana kara apane dharmakA prakAza kara rahe haiN| yaha saba zrI dharmavijaya sUrike puruSArthakA phala hai| kyA hamArI digambara samAja 10 yA 20 chAtroMke adhyayanakA prabandha na kara sakegI ? AzA hai Apa loga hamArI vedanAkA pratIkAra kreNge| yaha merI eka kI hI vedanA nahIM hai kintu akhila samAjake chAtroMkI vedanA hai / yadyapi mahAvidyAlaya mathurA, mahApAThazAlA, jayapura tathA seTha mevArAmajIkA khurjAkA vidyAlaya Adi sthAnoM para saMskRtake paThana-pAThanakA subhItA hai tathApi yaha sthAna jitanA bhavya aura saMskRta par3haneke liye upayukta hai vaisA anya sthAna nahIM hai / AzA hai hamArI namra prArthanA para Apa logoM kA dhyAna avazya jAyagA ityAdi / eka mAsake bhItara bahutase mahAnubhAvoMke AzAjanaka uttara A gaye sAtha hI 100) mAsika sahAyatAke bhI vacana mila gye| hama logoMke harSakA ThikAnA na rhaa| hamAre harSake hRdaya kamala phUla gaye / aba zrImAn guru pannAlAlajI vAkalIvAlako bhI eka patra isa AzayakA likhA ki yadi Apa Akara isa kAryameM sahAyatA kareM to vaha kArya anAyAsa ho sakatA hai / 10 dinake bAda ApakA bhI zubhAgamana ho gayA, Apake padhArate hI hamAre hRdayakI prasannatAkA pArAvAra na rahA / rAtri dina isI viSayakI carcA aura isI viSayakA Andolana prAyaH digambara jaina patroMmeM kara diyA ki kAzImeM eka jaina vidyAlayakI mahatI AvazyakatA hai| kitane hI sthAnoMse isa Azayake bhI patra Aye ki Apa logoM ne yaha kyA Andolana macA rakkhA hai ? kAzI jaise sthAnameM digambara jaina vidyAlayakA honA atyanta kaThina hai / jahA~para koI sahAyaka nahIM, jainamatake premI vidvAn nahIM vahA~ kyA Apa loga hamArI pratiSThA bhaMga karAoge / parantu hama loga apane prayatnase vicalita nahIM hue / 1 zrImAn svargIya bAbU devakumArajI raIsa ArAko bhI eka patra isa AzayakA diyA ki ApakI anukampAse yaha kArya anAyAsa ho sakatA hai / Apa cAheM to svayaM eka vidyAlaya khola sakate haiN| bhadainIghATa para gaMgAjIke kinAre Apake jo vizAla mandira haiM unheM dekhakara Apake pUrvajoMke vizAla dravya tathA bhAvoMkI vizuddhatAkA smaraNa hotA hai / usameM 50 chAtra sAnanda adhyayana kara sakate haiM, Upara rasoIghara bhI hai / AzA hai ApakA vizAla hRdaya hamArI prArthanA For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #95
70 merI jIvanagAthA para avazya sAkSI hogA ki yaha kArya avazya karaNIya hai / ATha dinake bAda hI uttara A gayA ki cintA mata karo zrI pArzvaprabhuke caraNaprasAdase saba hogA / eka patra zrImAn svargIya seTha mANikacandrajI je. pI. bambaI ko bhI likhA ki jainadharmakA marma jAnaneke liye saMskRta vidyAkI mahatI AvazyakatA hai / isa vidyAke liye banArasa jaisA sthAna anyatra upayukta nahIM / isa samaya Apa hI eka aise mahApuruSa haiM jo yathAzakti dharmakI unnati karanemeM dattacitta haiN| Apa tIrthakSetroM tathA chAtrAvAsoMkI vyavasthA kara digambaroMkA mahopakAra kara rahe haiN| eka kArya yaha bhI karanemeM agresara hUjiye / merI icchA hai ki isa vidyAlayakA udghATana Apake hI karakamaloMse ho / AzA hai namra prArthanAkI avahelanA na hogI / banArasa samAjake gaNamAnya bAbU chedIlAlajI, zrI svargIya bAbU banArasIdAsajI jhaverI Adi saba samAja saba tarahase sahAyatA karaneke liye prayatnazIla haiN| kevala Apake zubhAgamanakI mahatI AvazyakatA hai| ATha dina bAda seThajI sAhabakA patra A gayA ki hama udghATanake samaya avazya kAzI aaveNge| itanemeM hI eka patra baruAsAgarase bAIjIkA AyA ki bhaiyA ! patrake dekhate hI zIghra cale Ao / yahA~para sarrApha mUlacandrajI sakhta bImAra haiM, patrako tAra jaano| hama tInoM arthAt maiM, gurujI aura bAbAjI mela TrenameM baiThakara baruAsAgarako cala diye| dUsare dina baruAsAgara pahu~ca bhI gaye / zrIsarrAphajIkI avasthA rogase grasita thI, kintu zrIjIke prasAdase unhoMne svAsthya lAbha kara liyaa| hamane kahA- sarrAphajI ! hama logoMkA vicAra hai ki banArasameM eka digambara jaina vidyAlaya kholA jAve, jisase jainiyoMmeM prAcIna sAhityakA pracAra ho / Apane kahA uttama kArya hai, 2000) gajAzAhI, jinake 1500) kaldAra hote haiM, hama deveMge, hama loga bahuta hI prasanna hue| I yahA~se lalitapura va bamarAnA, jahA~ ki zrIbrajalAla-candrabhAna lakSmIcandrajI seTha rahate the, gaye aura apanI bAta unake sAmane rkkhii| unhoMne bhI sahAnubhUti dikhlaayii| lalitapuranivAsI seTha mathurAdAsajIne atyanta prasannatA prakaTa kI aura yahA~ taka kahA ki yadi jaisA merA nAma hai vaisA dhanI hotA to Apako anyatra bhikSA mA~ganekI abhilASA nahIM rhtii| unake udgAroMko zravaNa kara hamArA sAhasa dRr3hatama ho gayA / aba yahI vicAra huA ki banArasa caleM aura isake khulanekA muhUrta nikalavAveM / do dina bAda banArasa pahu~ca gaye aura paJcAMgameM muhUrta dekhane lage / I For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #96
syAdvAda vidyAlayakA udghATana (2) antameM yahI nizcaya kiyA ki jyeSTha sudI paJcamIko syAdvAda vidyAlayakA udghATana kiyA jaave| kuGkumapatrikA banAI aura lAla raMga meM chapavAkara sarvatra vitaraNa kara dii| ___ banArasake gaNyamAnya mahAzayoMkA pUrNa sahayoga thA / zrImAn rAyasAhaba nAnakacandrajIkI pUrNa sahAnubhUti thii| jyoM-jyoM muhUrta nikaTa AyA, anukUla kAraNakUTa milate gye| maharaunIse zrIyutta baMzIdharajI, zrIyutta govindarAyajI tathA eka aura chAtra ke AnekI sUcanA A gii| bambaIse seThajI sAhabake AnekA tAra A gayA, ArAse bAbU devakumArajIkA bhI patra A gayA, dehalIse zrImAna lAlA motIlAlajIkA tAra A gayA ki hama Ate haiM tathA zrImAn eDavokeTa ajitaprasAdajIkI sUcanA A gayI ki hama Ate haiN| jeTha sudi 4 ke dina ye saba netAgaNa A gaye aura maidAginImeM Thahara gye| (2) syAdvAda vidyAlayakA udghATana paJcamIko prAtaHkAla vidyAlayakA udghATana honA hai| 'paNDitoM kA kyA prabandha hai ? .....upasthita lAgoMne puuchaa| maiMne kahA-'maiM zrIzAstrI ambA dAsajIse nyAyazAstrakA adhyayana karatA hU~, 15) mAsika skAlarzipa mujhe bambaIse zrIseThajIsAhabake pAsase milatI hai, vahI unake caraNoMmeM arpita kara detA huuN| aba 25) mAsika unheM denA cAhiye, ve 3 ghaNTAko A jaaveNge|' sabane svIkAra kiyaa| eka adhyApaka vyAkaraNako bhI cAhiye ?' maiMne kahA-'zAstrIjIse jAkara kahatA huuN|' acchA zIghratA karo........ sabane khaa| maiM zAstrIjIke pAsa gyaa| 20) mAsikapara eka vyAkaraNAcArya aura itanepara hI eka sAhityAdhyApaka bhI mila gyaa| suparinTenDenTa padake liye varNI dIpacandrajI niyata hue| eka rasoiyA, eka DhImara, eka caparAsI isa taraha tIna karmacArI, tIna paNDita, eka suparinTenDenTa isa prakAra vyavasthA huii| isa samaya mujhe milAkara kevala cAra chAtra the| jeTha sudi 5 ko bar3e samArohake sAtha vidyAlayakA udghATana huaa| 25) mAsika zrImAn seTha mANikacandrajI bambaIne aura itanA hI bAbU devakumArajI ArAne denA svIkRta kiyaa| isI prakAra bahuta-sA sthAyI dravya tathA mAsika sahAyatA banArasavAle paJcoMne dI jisakA vivaraNa vidyAlayakI riporTa meM hai| isa taraha yaha mahAkArya zrIpArzvanAthake caraNaprasAdase alpa hI samayameM sampanna ho gyaa| jeTha sudi 5 vIranirvANa saM. 2432 aura vikrama saM. 1662 ke dina For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #97
72 merI jIvanagAthA prAtaHkAla zrImaidAginImeM sarvaprathama zrIpArzvanAtha svAmIkA pUjanakArya sampanna huaa| anantara gAje bAjeke sAtha zrIsyAdvAda vidyAlayakA udghATana zrImAn seTha mANikacandrajIke karakamaloM dvArA sampanna huA | Apane apane vyAkhyAnameM yaha darzAyA ki - 'bhArata dharmapradhAna deza hai / isameM ahiMsA dharmakI hI pradhAnatA rahI, kyoMki yaha eka aisA anupama alaukika dharma hai jo prANiyoMko ananta yAtanAoMse mukta kara detA hai| cU~ki isakA sAhitya saMskRta aura prAkRta meM hai, ataH isa bAtakI mahatI AvazyakatA hai ki hama apane bAlakoM ko isa vidyA kA mArmika vidvAn banAnekA prayatna kreN| Aja saMsArameM jo jainadharmakA hAsa ho rahA hai usakA mUla kAraNa yahI hai ki hamArI samAjameM saMskRtake mArmika vidvAn nahIM rhe| Aja vidvAnoMke na honese jainadharmakA pracAra ekadama ruka gayA hai 1 loga yahA~ taka kahane lage haiM ki vaha to eka vaizyajAtikA dharma hai, pUrNa vaizyajAtikA nahIM, ine-gine vaizyoMkA hai| ataH hameM AvazyakatA isa bAta kI hai ki hama usa dharmake prasArake liye mArmika paNDita banAnekA prayatna kreN| etadartha hI Aja mere dvArA isa vidyAlayakA udghATana ho rahA hai| maiM apaneko mahAn puNyazAlI samajha rahA hU~ ki mere dvArA isa mahAn kAryakI nIMva rakhI jA rahI hai / yadyapi merA yaha pakSa thA ki eka aisA chAtrAvAsa kholA jAya jisameM aMgrejI chAtroMke sAtha-sAtha saMskRtake bhI chAtra rahate / parantu zrImAn devakumArajI raIsa ArA aura bAbU chedIlAlajI raIsa banArasane kahA ki yaha sarvathA anucita hai| chAtrAvAsase vizeSa lAbha na hogA, ataH maiMne apanA pakSa chor3a usI pakSakA samarthana kiyA aura jahA~ taka mujhase banegA, isa kAryameM pUrNa prayatna karU~gA / ' Apake bAda bAbU zItalaprasAdajIne vizada vyAkhyAna dvArA seThajIke abhiprAyakI puSTi kii| yahA~ Apako bAbU likhanekA yaha tAtparya hai ki usa samaya Apa bAbU hI the| jainadharmake prasArameM ApakI advitIya lagana thI / Apane pratijJA kI thI ki maiM AjIvana hara tarahase isa vidyAlayakI sahAyatA karU~gA aura varSameM do-cAra bAra yahA~ Akara nirIkSaNa dvArA isakI unnatimeM sahayoga dU~gA / yaha likhate hue prasannatA hotI hai ki Apane apanI ukta pratijJAkA AjIvana nirvAha kiyaa| Apa jahA~ jAte the vidyAlayako eka muzta tathA mAsika candA bhijavAte the / jahA~ para caturmAsa karate the vahA~se hajAroM rupaye vidyAlayako bhijavAte the / kucha dina bAda Apa brahmacArI ho gaye, parantu vidyAlayako na bhUle- usakI sahAyatA nirantara karate rhe| varSoMtaka Apa vidyAlayake | For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #98
adhiSThAtA bAbA bhAgIrathajI 333 73 adhiSThAtA rhe| samayakI balihArI hai ki aisA udAra mahAnubhAva kucha samaya bAda vidhavAvivAhakA poSaka ho gayA / astu, yahA~ usakI kathA karanA maiM ucita nahIM samajhatA / yadyapi isa eka bAtake pIche jaina samAjameM ApakI pratiSThA kama hone lagI, phira bhI ApakI zraddhA digambara dharmameM Ajanma rhii| Apane dharmapracArake liye nirantara parizrama kiyA / brahmA va laMkAmeM jAkara Apane digambara jainadharmakA pracAra kiyA / isI udghATana ke samaya zrImotIlAlajI dehalIvAloMne bhI vidyAlayake prArambhameM sahAyatA pradAna karanekA AzvAsana diyaa| isa taraha vidyAlayakA udghATana sAnanda sampanna ho gayA / paThanakrama kvInsa kAleja banArasa kA rahA / vidyAlayako sahAyatA bhI acchI milane lagI, bhAratavarSake pratyeka prAntase chAtra Ane lage / isI vidyAlayake mukhya chAtra paNDita vaMzIdharajI sAhaba haiM jo ki Aja indaurameM zrImAn sara seTha hukumacandrajI sAhabake pramukha vidvAn haiN| Apa bar3e hI pratibhAzAlI haiN| Apake hI dvArA samAjameM saikar3oM chAtra gommaTasArAdi mahAn granthoMke jJAtA ho gaye haiM / ApakI pravacanazailI adbhuta hai| Apa vidvAn hI nahIM, tyAgI bhI haiN| aba Apane paJcamI pratimA le lI hai| apane putrako Apane ema. e. taka aMgrejI par3hAI hai, aura sAtha hI saMskRtameM darzanAcArya bhI banAyA hai| Apake suputrakA nAma zrI paM. dhanyakumAra hai jo Ajakala indaurameM pradhAnAdhyApaka haiN| zrImAn paM. mANikacandrajI nyAyAcArya bhI isI vidyAlayake chAtra haiM jo advitIya pratibhAzAlI haiN| sahAranapurameM zrImAn lAlA pradyumnakumArajIke mukhya vidvAn haiN| Apane aneka sthAnoMpara zAstrArtha kara vijaya prApta kI hai / bahutase chAtroMko nyAyazAstrameM vidvAn banAyA hai tathA zrI zlokavArtikakI bhASA- TIkA kI hai| zrI jambU vidyAlayakA udghATana Apa hIke dvArA huA thA / Aja kala Apa sahAranapurameM hI nivAsa karate haiM / inake sivAya zrImAn paM. devakInandanajI vyAkhyAnavAcaspati bhI isI vidyAlayake chAtra haiN| Aja Apa bhI zrImAn sara seTha hukumacandrajIke pradhAna paNDitoMmeM haiN| Apake dvArA kAraJjA gurukulakI jo unnati huI so sarvavidita hai| paravArasabhA bhI Apake dvArA samaya-samayapara unnata huI hai| adhiSThAtA bAbA bhAgIrathajI kucha dina bAda paNDita dIpacandrajI varNI, jo ki yahA~ ke suparinTenDenTa the, kAraNa pAkara mujhase ruSTa ho gaye / yadyapi maiM unakI AjJAmeM calatA thA, For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #99
74 merI jIvanagAthA parantu mUrkhatAvaza kabhI-kabhI galatI kara baiThatA thA / phala usakA yaha huA ki Apa vidyAlayako chor3a kara ilAhAbAda cale gye| unake bAda vaisA zrama karane vAlA suparinTenDenTa vahA~ para Aja taka nahIM aayaa| unake anantara zrImAn bAbA bhAgIrathajI adhiSThAtA ho gaye / Apa vilakSaNa tyAgI the| Apake Ajanma 1 namaka aura mIThAkA tyAga thA / Apa nirantara svAdhyAya meM rata rahate the, koI ho, Apa satya bAta kahanemeM kabhI nahIM cUkate the / Apane meraTha prAntameM vidyAlayake lie hajAroM rupaye bheje the| maiM to ApakA ananyabhakta prArambhase hI thA / ApakA zAsana itanA kaThora thA ki aparAdhake anukUla daNDa denemeM Apa snehako tilAJjali de dete the| eka bArakI kathA hai ki - sirasI jilA lalitapurake eka chAtrane holIke dina eka chAtrake gAlapara gulAla lagA dI / lagAte hue bAbAjIne A~khase dekha liyaa| Apane use bulAyA aura prazna kiyA ki tumane isa chAtrake gAlameM kyoM gulAla lagAI ? vaha uttara detA hai'mahArAja ! holIkA divasa thA, isase yaha harakata ho gii| ye dina Amoda-pramodake haiN| inameM aisI truTiyA~ hotI rahatI haiN| varSa bharameM vaha eka dina hI to hama logoMko Amoda-pramodake lie milatA hai| maiMne koI gurutama aparAdha nahIM kiyA, isapara itanI kupitatA bhavya nahIM / ' bAbAjI mahArAjane kahA- 'Apa kisa avasthAmeM ho ?' chAtrane uttara diyA- 'chAtrAvasthAmeM huuN|' taba bAbAjI mahArAjane kahA - 'tuma chAtra ho, brahmacArI ho, adhyayana karanA hI tumhArA tapa hai, tumase saMsArakI bhAvI unnati honevAlI hai, aise kutsita kArya karanA kyA tumhAre padake yogya haiM ? hamAre bhAratavarSake patanake kAraNa yahI kArya to hue haiN| yadi hamArI chAtra santati sumArgapara ArUr3ha rahatI to yaha avasara bhAratavarSako na aataa| Ajake dina javAna hI kyoM, bUr3he aura bAlaka bhI azlIla vAkyoM dvArA jo anartha karate haiM use kahate hue zarma AtI hai / jisa dezameM manuSyoMkI aisI nindya pravRtti ho vahA~ kalyANa honA bahuta dUra hai|' chAtra bolA-'aise aparAdhako Apa itanA gurutama rUpa dete haiM, yaha buddhimeM nahIM AtA / ' bAbAjI mahArAja bole- 'Apa kRpA kara zIghra hI vidyAlayase pRthak hokara jahA~ ApakI icchA ho cale jaaiye| aise chAtroMse vidyAlayakI kyA unnati hogI ?' vaha chAtra calA gayA, chAtraloga ekadama bhaya-bhIta ho gaye aura usa dinase ha~sI majAkakA nAma na rahA / saba chAtra bAbAjIkI AjJA pAlana karate the / yadyapi maiM bAbAjI ke mu~ha 1 For Personal & Private Use Only

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adhiSThAtA bAbA bhAgIrathajI 75 lagA thA tathApi bhayabhIta avazya rahatA thaa| eka dinakI bAta hai-banArasake pAsa gaMgAke usa pAra rAmanagara hai| vahA~ para mahArAja banArasa rahate haiN| gaMgAke taTa para ApakA mahala hai| Apake rAmanagarameM Azvina mAsa bhara rAmalIlA hotI hai aura usameM 10000) ru. kharca hotA hai| ayodhyA Adise bar3I-bar3I sAdhumaNDalI AtI hai| Azvina sudi 6 ko mere manameM AyA ki rAmalIlA dekhaneke liye rAmanagara jaauuN| saiMkar3oM naukAe~ gaMgAmeM rAmanagarako jA rahI thIM, maiMne bhI jAnekA vicAra liyaa| 5 yA 6 chAtroMko bhI sAthameM le liyaa| ucita to yaha thA ki bAbAjI mahArAjase AjJA lekara jAtA, parantu mahArAja sAmAyikake liye baiTha gaye, bola nahIM sakate the| ataH maiMne sAmane khar3e hokara praNAma kiyA aura nivedana kiyA ki 'mahArAja ! Aja rAmalIlA dekhaneke liye rAmanagara jAte haiM, Apa sAmAyikameM baiTha cuke, ataH AjJA na le ske| vahA~se zanaiH zanaiH gaMgAghATa para pahu~ce aura naukAmeM baiTha gye| naukA gaMgAjImeM mallAha dvArA calane lgii| naukA ghATase kucha hI dUra pahuMcI thI ki itanemeM vAyukA vega AyA aura naukA DagamagAne lgii| bAbAjIkI dRSTi naukA para gaI aura unake nirmala manameM ekadama yaha vikalpa uThA ki aba naukA ddubii| bar3A anartha huA, isa nAdAnako kyA sujhI ? jo Aja isane apanA sarvanAza kiyA aura chAtroMkA bhii| he bhagavan ! Apa hI isa vidhnase chAtroMkI rakSA kiijiye| mAlA bhUla gaye, sAmAyikakA yahI eka viSaya raha gayA ki ye chAtra nirvighna yahA~ lauTa AveM, jisase pAThazAlA kalaMkita na ho......ityAdi vikalpoMkA pUrA karate-karate sAmAyikakAla pUrNa kiyaa| pazcAt suparinTenDenTase kahA ki 'tumane kyoM jAne diyA ?' unhoMne kahA ki 'mahArAja ! hameM patA nahIM kaba cale gaye ?' isa prakAra bAbAjIkA, jitane karmacArI vahA~ the, sabase jhar3apa hotI rhii| itanemeM rAtrike 10 baja gaye, hama loga rAmanagarase vApisa A gye| Ate hI sAtha bAbAjIne kahA-'paNDitajI ! kahA~ padhAre the ?' yaha zabda sunakara hama to bhayase AvAka raha gaye, mahArAja kabhI to paNDitajI kahate nahIM the, Aja kauna-sA gurutama aparAdha ho gayA, jisase mahArAja itanI nArAjI prakaTa kara rahe haiM ?' maiMne kahA-'mahArAja ! rAmalIlA dekhane gaye the| unhoMne kahA-'kisase chuTTI lekara gaye the ?' maiMne kahA-'usa samaya suparinTenDenTa sAhaba to mile na the aura Apa sAmAyika karane laga gaye the, ataH Apako praNAma kara AjJA le calA gayA thaa| mujhase aparAdha avazya For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 76 huA hai, ataH kSamA kI bhikSA mA~gatA huuN|' mahArAja bole-'yadi naukA DUba jAtI to kyA hotA ?' maiMne kahA-'prANa jaate|' unhoMne kahA-'phira kyA hotA ?' maiMne musakarAte hue kahA-'mahArAja ! jaba hamAre prANa hI jAte taba kyA hotA, vaha Apa jAnate yA jo yahA~ rahate ve jAnate, maiM kyA kahU~ ?' 'isa gustAkhIse peza Ate ho.........mahArAjane ucca svarameM khaa| maiMne kahA-'mahArAja ! maiM kyA mithyA uttara detA, bhalA Apa hI batalAiye jaba maiM DUba jAtA taba uttara kAlakI bAta kaise kahatA ? hA~, aba jIvita baca gayA huuN| yadi Apa pUche ki aba kyA hogA? to uttara de sakatA hU~?' unhoMne upekSA bhAvase pUchA-'acchA, aba kyA hogA ? btaao|' mujhe kaha AyA ki 'mahArAja ! maiM nimittajJAnI nahIM, avadhijJAnI bhI nahIM taba kyA uttara , ki kyA hogA !' bAbAjIne ucca svarameM kahA-'bar3e cAlAka ho, ThIka-ThIka bolate bhI nahIM, aparAdha karo aura vinayake sAtha uttara bhI na do|' maiMne sAhasake sAtha kahA-'mahArAja! Apa hI kahiye-maiMne kauna-sI uddaNDatA kii| yahI to kahA ki maiM kyA jAnU~ ?' maiM manaHparyayajJAnI to nahIM ki hRdayakI bAta batA skuuN| hA~, mere manameM jo vikalpa huA hai use batA sakatA hU~, kyoMki yaha mere mAnasa pratyakSa kA viSaya hai aura Apake manameM jo hai vaha ApakI bAhya ceSTAse anumita ho rahA hai| yadi AjJA ho to kaha duuN|' acchA kaho......bAbAjIne zAnta hokara khaa| maiM kahane lagA-'mere manameM to yaha vikalpa AyA ki Aja tumane mahAn aparAdha kiyA hai jo bAbAjIkI AjJA ke binA rAmalIlA dekhaneke liye rAmanagara gye| yadi Aja naukA DUba jAtI to pAThazAlAdhyakSoMkI kitanI nindA hotI ? ataH isa aparAdhameM bAbAjI tumheM pAThazAlAse nikAla deveNge| tuma dhobIke kutte jaise hue-na gharake na ghaattke| phira bhI vicAra kiyA ki eka bAra bAbAjIse aparAdha kSamAkI prArthanA karo, saMbhava hai, ve dayAla haiM ataH aparAdhakA daNDa dekara kSamA kara deveM........ | yaha vikalpa to mere manameM AyA aura ApakI AkRti dekhanese yaha nizcaya hotA hai ki isa aparAdhakA mUla kAraNa yahI chAtra hai| ise isa pAThazAlAse pRthak kara diyA jaave| zeSa chAtroMkA utanA aparAdha nahIM, ve to isIke bahakAye cale gaye, ataH una chAtroMkA kevala eka mAsakA hI jurmAnA kiyA jaave| parantu yaha bahuta bAteM banAyegA, ataH suparinTenDenTa sAhaba abhI davAta-kalama-kAgaja lAo aura paM. jainendrakizorajI maMtrI ArAko eka patra likho ki Aja gaNezapasAda chAtrane mahatI galatI kI arthAt gaMgAmeM rAmanagara gayA, bIcameM pahu~cate hI naukA For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #102
adhiSThAtA bAbA bhAgIrathajI DagamagAne lagI, daivayogase bacakara AyA, ataH aise uddaNDa chAtrako rakhanA pAThazAlAko kalaMkita karanA hai| yaha saba socakara Aja rAtrike 11 baje ise pRthak karate haiN| Apake manameM yaha hai .... aisA mujhe bhAna hotA hai|' bAbAjIne kucha vismayake sAtha kahA ki 'akSarazaH satya kahate ho / ' unhoMne suparinTenDenTa sAhabako bulavAyA aura zIghra hI jaisA maiMne kahA thA vaisA hI AnupUrvI patra likhakara usI samaya liphAphAmeM banda kiyA aura usake Upara leTaphIsa lagAkara caparAsIke hAthameM dete hue kahA ki "tuma ise isI samaya posTaAphisameM DAla aao|" maiMne bahuta hI vinayake sAtha prArthanA kI ki mahArAja ! abakI bAra mAphI dI jAve, Ayati - kAlameM aba aisA aparAdha na hogA / yahA~se pRthak hone para merA par3hanA-likhanA saba calA jAyegA / anajAna manuSyase aparAdha hotA hai aura mahArAja ! Apase jJAnI mahAtmA use kSamA karate haiN| Apa mahAtmA haiM, hama kSudra chAtra haiM / yadi kSudra prakRtike na hote to ApakI zaraNameM na Ate / hamane koI anAcAra to kiyA nahIM, rAmalIlA hI to dekhane gaye the| yadi aparAdha na karate to yaha naubata na AtI / ' mahArAjane yahI uttara diyA ki apIla kara lenA / maiMne kahA - 'na mujhe apIla karanA hai aura na spiil| jo kucha kahanA thA Apase nivedana kara diyA yadi Apake dayAkA saMcAra ho to' hamArA kAma bana jAve, anyathA jo zrI vIraprabhune dekhA hogA vahI . I / bAbAjIne bIcameM hI rokate hue kahA - 'cupa raho, nyAyameM anucita dayA nahIM hotI / yadi anucita dayAkA prayoga kiyA jAve to saMsAra kumArgarata ho jAve, samAjakA bandhana TUTa jAve / prabandhakartAoMko bar3e-bar3e avasara Ate haiN| yadi ve dayAvaza nyAyamArgakA ullaMghana karane laga jAveM to koI bhI kArya vyavasthita nahIM cala skte| maiMne kahA - 'mahArAja ! aba to eka bAra kSamA kara dIjie, kyA apavAda - zAstra nahIM hotA ? bAbAjI ekadama garama ho gaye - jorase bole- 'tuma bar3e nAlAyaka ho yadi aba bahuta bakabaka kiyA to beta lagAke nikalavA duuNgaa| tuma nahIM jAnate, merA nAma bhAgIratha hai / aura maiM vrajakA rahanevAlA hU~ / aba tumhArI isImeM bhalAI hai ki yahA~se cale jaao|' maiMne kucha hue svarameM kahA - 'mahArAja ! jitanI nyAyakI vyavasthA hai vaha mere hI vAste thI ? acchA, jo ApakI icchaa| maiM jAtA hU~ kintu eka bAta kahatA hU~ ki Apa pIche pchtaaveNge|' ta bAbAjI punaH 77 bIcameM hI bAta kATa kara kahA - 'cupa raho, upadeza dene For Personal & Private Use Only

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78 merI jIvanagAthA AyA hai|' 'acchA mahArAja ! jAtA hU~....' kahakara zIghra hI bAhara AyA aura caparAsIse, jo ki bAbAjIkI ciTThI DAkameM DAlaneke lie jA rahA thA, maiMne kahA 'bhAI kyoM ciTThI DAlate ho, bAbAjI mahArAja to kSaNika ruSTa haiM, abhI prasanna ho jAveMge, yaha eka rupayA miThAI khAneko lo aura ciTThI hameM de do / vaha bhalA AdamI thA, ciTThI hameM de dI aura dasa minaTa bAda Akara bAbAjIse kaha diyA ki 'ciTThI DAla AyA huuN|' bAbAjI bole- 'acchA kiyA pApa kaTA / ' maiM ina viruddha vAkyoMko zravaNa kara sahama gayA / he bhagavan ! kyA Apatti AI jo mujhe hArdika sneha karate the, Aja unhIMke zrImukhase yaha nikale ki pApa kaTA, arthAt yaha isa sthAnase calA jAvegA to pAThazAlA zAntise calegI / chAtrasabhAmeM merA bhASaNa maiMne kahA - 'mahArAja ! praNAma, aba jAtA huuN| kyA maiM chAtra gaNoMse antima kSamA mA~ga sakatA hU~ / yadi AjJA ho to chAtrasamudAyameM kucha bhASaNa karU~ aura calA jAU~ / ' bAbAjIne kucha udAsInatAse kahA- 'acchA, jo kahanA ho zIghratA se kahakara 15 minaTameM cale jAnA / ' ghaNTI bajI, saba chAtra ekatra ho gaye, eka chAtrane maMgalAcaraNa kiyA / maiMne kahA - 'saniyama sabhA honekI AvazyakatA hai ataH eka sabhApati avazya honA cAhiye, anyathA hullar3abAjI honekI sambhAvanA hai| eka chAtrane prastAva kiyA ki sabhApatikA Asana zrIyuta pUjya bAbAjI grahaNa kareM, ekane samarthana kiyA, sabane anumodanA kI, maiM virodhameM rahA, parantu merI kauna sunatA thA, kyoMki maiM aparAdhI thA / maiMne bAbAjI mahArAjase anumati mA~gI, unhoMne kahA - '15 minaTa bhASaNa karake cale jaao|' 'cale jAo' zabda sunakara bahuta khinna huA / antameM sAhasa baTora kara bhASaNa karaneke liye khar3A huA / prathama hI maMgalAcaraNakA pATha kiyA 'jAnAsi tvaM mama bhavabhave yacca yAdRk ca duHkhaM, jAtaM yasya smaraNamapi me zastravanniSpinaSTi / tvaM sarvezaH sakRpa iti ca tvAmupeto'smi bhaktyA, yatkartavyaM tadiha viSaye deva eva pramANam / / 'he bhagavan ! hamako bhavabhavameM jo jisa prakArake duHkha hue haiM unheM Apa jAnate haiM, kyoMki Apa sarvajJa haiM / yadi una duHkhoM kA smaraNa kiyA jAve to zastrake ghAva sadRza pIr3A dete haiM, ataH isa viSayameM kyA karanA cAhiye ? vaha For Personal & Private Use Only

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chAtrasabhAmeM merA bhASaNa 79 ApahI ke Upara chor3ate haiM, kyoMki Apa sarvajJa haiM, sarvajJa hI nahIM, sabake Iza haiM, Iza hI nahIM, kRpAvAn bhI haiN| yadi kevala jAnanevAle hote to hama prArthanA na krte| Apa jAnanevAle bhI haiM aura tIrthaMkara prakRtike udayase mokSamArgake netA bhii| AzA hai merI prArthanA niSphala na hogii|' 'mahAnubhAva bAbAjI mahodaya ! zrIsuparinTenDenTa mahAzaya ! tathA chAtravarga ! maiM Apake samakSa bhavya bhAvanAse prerita hokara kucha kahanekA sAhasa karatA huuN| yadyapi sambhava hai ki merA kahanA Apako yathArtha pratIta na ho, kyoMki maiM aparAdhI hU~, parantu yaha koI niyama nahIM ki aparAdhI sadaiva aparAdhI hI banA rhe| jisa samaya maiMne aparAdha kiyA thA usa samaya aparAdhI thA, na ki isa samaya bhii| isa samaya to maiM bhASaNa karaneke liye maJca para khar3A hU~ ataH vaktA hU~, isa samaya jo bhI kahU~gA, vicAra pUrvaka hI khuuNgaa| pahale maiMne iSTadevako namaskAra kiyaa| usakA yaha tAtparya hai ki mere vidhna palAyamAna hoM, kyoMki maMgalAcaraNakA karanA vighna vinAzaka hai| Apa loga yaha na samajheM ki maiM yahA~se jo pRthaka kiyA jAnevAlA hU~ vaha vighna na aave| vaha to koI vighna nahIM, aise vighna to asAtA karmake udayase Ate haiM aura asAtA karmakI gaNanA aghAtiyA karmameM hai vaha AtmaguNaghAtaka nhiiN| usa vighnase hamArI koI kSati nhiiN| kalpanA karo ki yahA~se pRthaka ho gaye-kSetrAntara cale gye| isakA yaha artha nahIM ki banArasase hI cale gye| yahA~se jAkara bhelUpura Thahara sakate haiM aura vahA~ rahakara bhI abhyAsa kara sakate haiN| maMgalAcaraNa isalie kiyA hai ki maiM bAbAjIke prati zatratvakA bhAva na rakhaM, kyoMki ve mere parama mitra haiN| aisI avasthAmeM unase merA bairabhAva ho sakatA hai, vaha na ho, isIliye maMgalAcaraNa kiyA hai| Apa isase yaha vyaGgya bhI na nikAlanA ki bAbAjI mahArAja! Apa mere avaguNoMko jAnate haiM, mere svAmI bhI haiM aura sAtha hI dayAlu bhI, ataH merA aparAdha kSamA kara nikAlanekI AjJAko vApisa le leveM....kadApi merA yaha abhiprAya nahIM hai| jainadharma to itanA vizAla aura vizada hai ki paramArtha dRSTise paramAtmAse bhI yAcanA nahIM karatA, kyoMki jaina sammata paramAtmA vItarAga sarvajJa hai| aba Apa hI batalAveM ki jahA~ paramAtmAmeM vItarAgatA hai vahA~ yAcanAse kyA milegA ? phira kadAcit Apa loga yaha zaMkA kareM ki maMgalAcaraNa kyoM For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 80 kiyA ? usakA uttara yaha hai ki yaha saba nimittakAraNakI apekSA kartavya hai, na ki upAdAnakI apekssaa| tathAhi 'iti stutiM deva vidhAya dainyAd, varaM na yAce tvamupekSako'si / chAyA taruM saMzrayataH svataH syAt, kazchAyayA yAcitayAtmalAbhaH / / jaba zrI dhanaMjaya seTha zrIAdinAtha svAmIkI stuti kara cuke, taba antameM kahate haiM ki he deva ! isa prakAra maiM ApakI stuti karake dInatAse kucha vara nahIM mA~gatA, kyoMki vara vahA~ mA~gA jAtA hai jahA~ milanekI sambhAvanA hotI hai| Apa to upekSaka haiM-arthAt Apake na rAga hai na dveSa hai-Apake bhAva hI deneke nahIM, kyoMki jisake bhaktameM anurAga ho vaha bhaktakI rakSA karanemeM apanI zaktikA upayoga kara sakatA hai, ataH Apase yAcanA karanA vyartha hai| yahA~ prazna ho sakatA hai ki yadi vastukI paristhiti isa prakAra hai to stuti karanA niSphala huaa| so nahIM, usakA uttara yaha hai ki jaise jo manuSya chAyAvRkSake nIce baiTha gayA use chAyAkA lAbha svayameva ho rahA hai, usako vRkSase chAyAkI yAcanA karanA vyartha hai| yahA~para vicAra karo ki jo manuSya vRkSake nimna bhAgameM baiThA hai use chAyA svayameva milatI hai kyoMki sUryakI kiraNoMke nimittase prakAza pariNamana hotA thA vaha kiraNeM vRkSake dvArA ruka gaI, ataH vRkSake talakI bhUmi svayameva chAyArUpa pariNamanako prApta ho gii| yadyapi tathya yahI hai phira bhI yaha vyavahAra hotA hai ki vRkSakI chAyA hai| kyA yathArthameM chAyA vRkSakI hai ? chAyArUpa pariNamana to bhUmikA huA hai| isI prakAra jaba hama rucipUrvaka bhagavAnko apane jJAnakA viSaya banAte haiM taba hamArA zubhopayoga nirmala hotA hai| usake dvArA pApa prakRtikA udaya manda par3a jAtA hai athavA anyanta vizuddha pariNAma honese pApa prakRtikA saMkramaNa hokara puNyarUpa pariNamana ho jAtA hai, parantu vyavahAra yahI hotA hai ki prabhu vItarAga dvArA zubha pariNAma hue arthAt sarvajJa vItarAga zubha pariNAmoMmeM nimitta hue| yadyapi una zubha pariNAmoMke dvArA hI hamArA koI aniSTa dUra hotA hai, parantu vyavahAra aisA hI hotA hai ki bhagavAnne hamArA saMkaTa TAla diyaa| jaba ki yaha siddhAMta hai taba hama Apa logoMse kadApi yaha prArthanA nahIM kara sakate ki Apa bAbAjIse yaha siphAriza kareM, ki ve hamArA aparAdha kSamA kara pAThazAlAmeM hI rahanekI anumati de deveM, kyoMki samayasArameM kahA hai For Personal & Private Use Only

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chAtrasabhAmeM merA bhASaNa 'sarvaM sadaiva niyataM bhavati svakIyakarmodayAnmaraNajIvanaduHkhasaukhyam / ajJAnametadiha yattu paraH parasya 81 kuryAnmaraNajIvitaduHkhasaukhyam / / ' 'isa lokameM jIvoMke jo maraNa, jIvana, duHkha aura sukha hote haiM ve saba svakIya karmoMke udayase hote haiM...... aisA honepara bhI jo aisA mAnate haiM ki parake dvArA parake jIvana, maraNa, duHkha aura sukha hote haiM.. . yaha ajJAna hai / ' bAbAjIke prati merI yaha dRr3ha zraddhA hai ki unhoMne merA kucha nahIM kiyA aura na aba Age hI kucha kara sakate haiN| merA asAtAkA udaya thA, unhoMne pRthak karanekA Adeza de diyA aura kauna dekha AyA, sAtAkA udaya A jAve to unake hI zrImukhase nikala par3e ki tumhArA aparAdha kSamA kiyA jAtA hai / yaha bAta asambhava bhI nahIM, karmoMkI gati vicitra hai / jaise dekhiye, prAtaH kAla zrIrAmacandrajI mahArAjako yuvarAja-tilaka honevAlA thA, jahA~ bar3e-se-bar3e RSiloga muhUrta zodhana karanevAle the, kisI prakArakI sAmagrIkI nyUnatA na thI, para huA kyA ? so purANoMse sabako vidita hai / kisI kavine kahA bhI hai 'yaccintitaM tadiha dUrataraM prayAti yaccetasApi na kRtaM tadihAbhyupaiti / prAtarbhavAmi vasudhAdhipacakravartI so'haM vrajAmi vipine jaTilastapasvI / / ' ityAdi bahuta kathAnaka zAstroMmeM milate haiN| jina kAryoMkI sambhAvanA bhI nahIM vaha Akara ho jAte haiM aura jo honevAle haiM vaha kSaNamAtrameM vilIna ho jAte haiM, ataH maiM Apa logoMse yaha bhikSA nahIM cAhatA ki bAbAjIse mere viSayameM kucha kheN| kahA~ to yaha manoratha ki isa varSa aSTasahasrImeM parIkSA dekara apanI manovRttiko pUrNa kareMge evaM dehAtameM jAkara padmapurANake svAdhyAya dvArA grAmINa janatAko prasanna karanekI ceSTA kareMge aura kahA~ yaha bAbAjIkA marmaghAtI upadeza .........kahA~ to bAbAjIse yaha ghaniSTha sambandha ki bAbAjI mere binA bhojana na karate the aura kahA~ yaha AjJA ki nikala jAo.......pApa kaTA / yaha unakA doSa nahIM, jaba abhAgyakA udaya AtA hai taba sabake yahI hotA hai| aba isa ronese kyA lAbha ? Apa logoMse hamArA ghaniSTha sambandha rahA, Apa logoMke sahavAsase aneka prakArake lAbha uThAye / arthAt jJAnArjana, siMhapurI - candrapurIkI yAtrA, paThana-pAThanakA saukarya aura sabase bar3A lAbha yaha huA ki Aja syAdvAda For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA pAThazAlA vidyAlayake rUpameM pariNata ho gaI, jina granthoMke nAma sunate the ve Aja paThana-pAThanameM aagye| jaise AptamImAMsA, AptaparIkSA, parIkSAmukha, prameyakamalamArtaNDa, aSTasahasrI, sAhityameM candraprabha, dharmazarmAbhyudaya, yazastilakacampU Adi ina sabake pracArase yaha lAbha huA ki jahA~ kAzImeM jainiyoMke nAmase paNDitagaNa nAstika zabdakA prayoga kara baiThate the Aja unhIM logoM dvArA yaha kahate sunA jAtA hai ki jainiyoMmeM pratyeka viSayakA uccakoTikA sAhitya vidyamAna hai| hama loga inakI vyartha hI nAstikoMmeM gaNanA karate the| inake yahA~ paramAtmAkA svarUpa bahuta hI vizeSarUpase pratipAdita kiyA gayA hai| nyAyazAstrameM to inakI varNanazailI kitanI gambhIra aura sarala hai ki jisako dekhate hI jainAcAryoMke pANDityakI prazaMsA bRhaspati bhI karanA cAhe to nahIM kara sktaa| adhyAtmakA varNana varNanAtIta hai......yaha saba Apa chAtra tathA bAbAjIkA upakAra hai, jise samAjako hRdayase mAnanA caahiye| maiM bAbAjIko koTizaH dhanyavAda detA hU~ jinhoMne apane dharmadhyAnake kAlako gauNakara dillI prAntase pAThazAlAko dhanakI mahatI sahAyatA phuNcaaii| itanA hI upakAra ApakA nahIM, kintu bahuta kAla yahA~ rahakara chAtroMko saccarita banAnemeM Apa sahayoga bhI dete haiN| yaha hI nahIM, Apake dvArA jo yAtrIgaNa pAThazAlAkA nirIkSaNa karaneke liye Ate haiM unheM saMsthAkA paricaya dekara unase sahAyatA bhI karAte haiN| ApakA chAtroM se lekara adhyApakavarga tathA samasta karmacArIvargake sAtha samAna prema rahatA hai| mere sAtha to ApakA sarvadA snehamaya vyavahAra rahA, parantu aba aisA abhAgyodaya AyA ki Apane ekadama mujhe pAThazAlAse pRthak kara diyaa| ___ bandhuvara ! yahA~ para mujhe do zabda kahanA hai, AzA hai Apa loga unheM dhyAnapUrvaka zravaNa kreNge| maiMne isa yogya aparAdha nahIM kiyA ki nikAlA jAU~ ! prathama to maiMne AjJA le lI thii| hA~, itanI galatI avazya huI ki sAmAyikake pahale nahIM lI thii| phira bhI isa bAtakI ceSTA kI thI ki, suparinTenDenTa sAhabase AjJA le lU~, parantu ve samaya para upasthita na the ataH maiM binA kisIkI AjJAke hI calA gyaa| . Aja rAmalIlAkA antima dina thaa| rAmacandrajI rAvaNapara vijaya prApta kareMge, yaha dekhanA abhISTa thA aura isakA abhiprAya yaha thA ki itanA vaibhava-zaktizAlI rAvaNa zrIrAmacandrajIse kisa prakAra parAsta hotA hai| maiMne vahA~ jAkara dekhA ki rAmake dvArA rAvaNa parAjita huaa| maiMne to yaha anubhava kiyA For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #108
chAtrasabhAmeM merA bhASaNa 83 ki rAvaNane zrIrAmacandrajI mahArAjakI sItAkA apaharaNa kiyA, ataH vaha cora thA, tathA usake bhAva malina the, nindya the, jo mandodarI Adi aneka vidyAdharI mahilAoMke rahane para bhI sItAko balAtkAra le gayA / I pApake sunate hI manuSyakI buddhi naSTa ho jAtI hai| jaTAyu pakSIne apanI coMcase sItAjIkI rakSA karanI cAhI, parantu usa duSTane anAtha pakSIpara bhI AghAta kara diyA / isa mahApApakA phala yaha huA ki puruSottama rAmacandrajIke dvArA eka mahApratApI rAvaNakA ghAta huA / yaha kathA rAmAyaNakI hai / hamAre yahA~ rAvaNakA ghAta zrIlakSmaNake cakra dvArA huA / yaha cakra rAvaNakA hI thA / jaba usake samasta astra-zastra viphala ho cuke taba antameM usane isa mahAzastra- cakrakA upayoga lakSmaNapara kiyA, parantu zrIlakSmaNake prabala - puNyase vaha cakra inake hAthameM A gyaa| usa samaya zrIrAmacandrajI mahArAjane ati sarala-niSkapaTamadhura - parahita rata vacanoMke dvArA rAvaNako sambodhana kara yaha kahA ki 'he rAvaNa ! aba bhI kucha nahIM gayA / apanA cakraratna vApisa le lo| ApakA rAjya hai, ataH saba hI vApisa lo| Apake bhrAtA kumbhakarNa Adi tathA putra meghanAd Adi jo hamAre yahA~ bandIrUpameM haiM unheM vApisa le jaao| ApakA jo bhAI vibhISaNa hamAre pakSameM A gayA hai use bhI saharSa le jaao| kevala sItAko de do| jo narasaMhArAdi tumhAre nimittase huA hai usakI bhI hama aba samAlocanA nahIM karanA caahte| hama sItAko lekara kisI vanameM kuTI banAkara nivAsa kareMge aura tuma apane rAjamahala meM mandodarI Adi paTTarAniyoMke sAtha Anandase jIvana bitaao| hajAroM striyoMko vaidhavyakA avasara mata Ane do| AzA hai hamAre prastAvako aMgIkAra kara ubhaya lokameM yazake bhAgI banoge / ' rAvaNa mahArAja rAmacandrajIkA yaha bhASaNa sunakara AgababUlA ho gayA aura kahane lagA ki Apane yaha kumbhakArakA cakra pAkara itane abhimAnase sambhASaNa kiyA ? ApakI jo icchA ho so kro| rAvaNa kabhI bhI natamastaka nahIM ho sakatA - 'mahatAM hi mAnaM dhanam / ' hamako maranA svIkAra hai, parantu Apake sAmane natamastaka honA svIkAra nahIM / jo lakSmaNakI icchA ho use kare / isake bAda jo huA so Apa jAnate hI haiM / yaha kathA chAtroMse kahI aura bAbAjI mahArAjase kahA ki 'Aja isa rAmalIlAko dekhakara mere manameM yaha bhAvanA ho gaI ki pApake phalase kitanA hI vaibhavazAlI kyoM na ho antameM parAjita ho hI jAtA hai| jitane darzaka the sabane rAmacandrajIkI prazaMsA kI aura For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #109
merI jIvanagAthA 84 rAvaNa tathA usake anuyAyIvargakI nindA kii| yaha bAta pratyeka darzakake hRdayameM samA gaI ki parastrIviSayaka icchA sarvanAzakA kAraNa hotA hai| jaisA kahA bhI 'jAhI pApa rAvaNake na chInA rahI bhaunA maaNhi| tAhI pApa lokana khilaunA kara rAkhyau hai|| ityAdi logoMmeM paraspara vArtAlApa hotI thii| yaha bAta, jisane usa. samayakA dRzya dekhA, vahI jAnatA hai| mere komala hRdayameM to yaha acchI taraha samA gayA ki pApa karanA sarvathA heya hai| isa rAmAyaNake bA~canese yahI zikSA milatI hai ki rAmacandrajIke sadRza vyavahAra karanA, rAvaNake sadRza asatkAryameM nahIM pdd'naa| jo zrI rAmacandrajI mahArAjakA anukaraNa karegA vahI saMsArameM vijayI hogA aura jo rAvaNake sadRza vyavahAra karegA vaha adhaHpatanakA bhAgI hogA, ityAdi zikSAko lekara A rahA thA aura yaha soca-socakara manameM phUlA na samAtA thA ki bAbAjI mahArAjako Ajake dRzyakA samAcAra sunA kara kucha vizeSa pratiSThA prApta kruuNgaa| para yahA~ Akara viparIta hI phala paayaa| 'gaye to chabbe honeko para raha gaye dube' yA pAMsA pAr3ate samaya irAdA to kiyA thA 'pau bAraha AveM para A gaye tIna kaanaa| astu, kisIkA doSa nahIM, apane kartavyakA phala pAyA, parantu 'kakarIke corako kaTAra mAriye nahIM' ise mahArAja ekadama bhUla gye| Apa loga hI batAyeM ki maiMne aisA kauna-sA aparAdha kiyA ki pAThazAlA se nikAlA jAU~, Apa sabane isa viSayameM bAbAjIse aNumAtra bhI prArthanA na kI ki mahArAja ! itanA daNDa denA ucita nhiiN| Akhira yahI nyAya kisI dina Apake Upara bhI to hogaa| Apa loga sAdhu to hai nahIM ki kisI tamAzA Adiko dekhane na jAte hoM, parantu balavAnke samakSa kisI kI himmata nahIM pdd'tii| bAbAjIkA yaha kahanA hai ki yadi naukA DUba jAtI to kyA hotA? so prathama to vaha DUbI nahIM, ataH aba vaha sambhAvanA karanA vyartha hI hai| hA~, hamArA daNDa karanA thA, jisase bhaviSyameM yaha aparAdha nahIM karate aura vidyAdhyayanameM upayoga lgaate| parantu bAbAjI kyA kareM ? hamArA tIvra pApakA udaya A gayA, jisase bAbAjI jaise nirmala aura sarala pariNAmI bhI nyAyamArgakI avahelanA kara gye| yaha merA hatabhAgya hI hai ki jo maiM eka dina syAdvAda vidyAlayake prArambhameM bAbAjIko banArasa bulAnemeM nimitta thA aura nimantraNa patrikAmeM bAbAjIke nIce jisakA nAma bhI thA, Aja vArSika riporTameM usI mere liye For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #110
mahAn prAyazcita likhA jAvegA ki bAbA bhAgIrathajIkI adhyakSatAmeM gaNezaprasAdako amuka aparAdha AmeM pRthak kiyA gyaa| aba maiM kyA prArthanA karU~ ki merA aparAdha kSamA kIjiye / yadi koI anya hotA to usakI apIla bhI karatA / parantu yaha to nirapekSa sAdhu Thahare, inakI apIla kisase kI jAve / kevala apane pariNAmoM dvArA apane hI se apIla karatA hU~ / 85 mahAn prAyazcitta 'he Atman ! yadi tUne pRthak hone yogya aparAdha kiyA hai to vyAkhyAna samApta honeke bAda sabase kSamA yAcanA kara isI samaya yahA~se calA jAnA aura yadi aisA aparAdha nahIM hai ki tU pRthak kiyA jAve to bAbAjIke zrImukhase yaha dhvani nikale ki tumhArA aparAdha kSamA kiyA jAtA hai, bhaviSyameM aisA aparAdha na karanA. ......' ityAdi vikalpa manameM ho hI rahe the ki bAbAjI ucca svarase bola uThe - baiTha jAo samaya ho gayA, 15 minaTake sthAna para 30 minaTa le liye|' maiMne namratAke sAtha kahA - 'mahArAja ! baiTha jAtA hU~, aba to jAtA hI hU~, itanI nArAjI kyoM pradarzita karate haiM, mujhe eka zloka yAda A gayA hai, yadi AjJA ho, to kaha duuN|' 'lajjA nahIM AtI, jo manameM AyA so bola diyA / vyAkhyAna denekI bhI kalA hai, abhI kucha dina siikho| Ajakala vidyAlayameM eka yaha roga laga gayA hai ki chAtragaNoMse vyAkhyAna denekA bhI abhyAsa karAyA jAtA hai, zAstrapravacana karAyA jAtA hai, vyAkhyAnakI bhI mukhyatA ho rahI hai| pAThyapustakoMkA abhyAsa ho, cAhe na ho, para yaha viSaya honA hI cAhiye / acchA, kaha lo antima samaya hai phira yaha avasara na AvegA.......... bAbAjIne upekSAbhAvase khaa| maiMne kahA - 'mahArAja ! yaha nahIM kahiye / nahIM I mAlUma antameM kyA ho ? isakA nizcaya na to Apako hai aura na mujhe hI / marate marate hemagarbha diyA jAtA hai, kauna jAne baca jAve, ataH yaha kahanA Apa jaise tyAgI vivekI puruSoM dvArA acchA nahIM lagatA ki antima samaya hai jo kucha kahanA ho kaha lo|' bAbAjI mahArAja bole- 'rAtri adhika ho gaI, saba chAtroMko nidrA AtI hai / yadi jaldI na bologe to sabhA bhaMga kara dI jaavegii|' maiM bolA'mahArAja ! ina chAtroMko to Aja hI nidrA jAnekA kaSTa hai, parantu merI to sarvadAke liye nidrA bhaMga ho gii| tathA Apane kahA ki rAtri bahuta ho gaI so ThIka hai, parantu rAtrike bAda dina to AvegA, mujhe to sadAke lie rAtri ho gii|' bAbAjI bole- 'bolatA kyoM nahIM, vyarthakI bahasa karatA hai|' maiMne For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #111
merI jIvanagAthA 86 kahA-'mahArAja ! Apa jAnate haiM merA to sarvanAza ho rahA hai ApakI to do ghaNTA hI rAtri gii| Akhira bolanA hI pdd'aa| maiMne kahA 'aparAdhini cetkrodhaH krodhe krodhaH kathaM na hi| dharmArthakAmamokSANAM caturNAM pripnthini||' kisI kavine kahA hai-'yadi aparAdhI vyakti para krodha karate ho to sabase bar3A aparAdhI krodha hai, kyoMki vaha dharma, artha, kAma aura mokSakA zatra hai| usIpara krodha karanA caahiye| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki maiM Apake Upara krodha kara rahA hU~ aura usI kAraNa Apa mujhe yahA~se pRthaka kara rahe haiM, parantu sabase bar3A aparAdha to krodha hai| vahI mere dharma, artha, kAma aura mokSa sabakA nAza kara degaa| ata: mahArAja ! maiM sAnanda yahA~se jAtA hU~| na Apake Upara merA koI vairabhAva hai aura na chAtroMke hI Upara / bolo zrImahAvIra svAmIkI jaya / antameM mahArAjajIko praNAma aura chAtroMko sasneha jayajinendra kara jaba calane lagA, taba netroMse azrupAta hone lgaa| na jAne bAbAjIko kahA~se dayAne A dbaayaa| Apa sahasA bola uThe-'tumhArA aparAdha kSamA kiyA jAtA hai tathA isa AnandameM kala vizeSa bhojana khilAyA jaavegaa| maiMne bhUlI huI bAtakI yAda dilAte hue kahA-'mahArAja ! yaha saba to ThIka hai parantu jo liphAphA ArA gayA hai usakA kyA hogA ? ataH maiM antima praNAma kara jAtA hU~, isI prakAra mere Upara kRpA rakhanA, saMsArameM udayakI balabattA dvArA acche-acche mahAnubhAva Apattike jAlameM pha~sa jAte haiM, maiM to koI mahAn vyakti nhiiN|' bAbAjI mahArAja cupa rahe aura kucha dera bAda kahane lage 'bAta to ThIka hai, parantu hama tumhArA aparAdha kSamA kara cuke / bAdameM suparinTenDenTa sAhabase kahane lage ki davAta kalama laao| aura eka patra phira maMtrIjIko likha do ki Aja maiMne gaNezaprasAdako pAThazAlAse pRthak karanekI AjJA dI thI aura usakA patra bhI Apako DAla cukA thA, parantu jaba yaha jAne lagA aura saba chAtroMse mAphI mA~ganeke liye vyAkhyAna dene lagA taba merA citta dravIbhUta ho gayA, ataH maiMne isakA aparAdha kSamA kara diyA tathA prasanna hokara dUsare dina viziSTa bhojanakI AjJA dii| aba Apa prathama patrako mithyA mAnanA aura navIna patrako satya smjhnaa| isa viSayameM koI sandeha nahIM karanA, hama loga tyAgI haiM-hamArI kaSAya gRhasthoMke sadRza sthAyI nahIM rhtii| aura cU~ki aisA karanemeM prabandhameM gar3abar3I ho jAnekI sambhAvanA hai, ataH Apako cAhiye ki mere sthAnapara anyako adhiSThAtA bnaaveN|' For Personal & Private Use Only

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mahAn prAyazcita 87 jaba bAbAjI mahArAja yaha kaha cuke taba maiMne namratApUrvaka mAyAcArI vAkyoMse yaha nivedana kiyA ki 'mahArAja ! maiM to Apake dvArA niraparAdhI ho cukA, aba Apa yaha patra na DAleM aura Apako jaba mere Upara dayA hai taba merA paThana-pAThana bhI asAdhya nhiiN| maiM ApakA AbhArI huuN| bAbAjI bole-'tumheM bolanekA adhikAra nhiiN|' anantara maiMne jo patra caparAsIke hAthase liyA thA use hAthameM lekara bAbAjIse nivedana kiyA-'mahArAja ! yadi Apa mere aparAdhako kSamA kara deM to kucha khuuN|' mahArAja bole-'acchA kho|' maiM bolA-'mahArAja ! Apane jo patra caparAsIke hAtha posTa AphisameM DAlaneke liye diyA thA use maiMne kisI prakAra usase le liyA thaa| prathama to usa caparAsIkA aparAdha kSamA kiyA jAve, kyoMki maiMne usake sAtha bahuta hI mAyAcArIkA vyavahAra kiyA, parantu usane dayA kara mujhe de diyaa| yaha patra jo ki mere hAthameM hai vahI hai lIjiye, Apake zrIcaraNoMmeM samarpita karatA hU~ tathA isa aparAdhakA daNDa cAhatA hU~| bahuta bhArI aparAdha maiMne kiyA ki isa prakAra Apake patrako maiMne dUsarese le liyaa| aisA bhayaMkara AdamI na jAne kaba kyA kara baiThe ?................ yaha Apake manameM zaMkA ho sakatI hai, parantu mahArAja ! bAta to asalameM yaha hai ki mujhe vizvAsa thA-Apa dayAlu prakRtike haiN| yadi maiM namra zabdoMmeM inake samakSa prArthanA karU~gA to bAbAjI mahArAja kSamA denemeM vilamba na kreNge| antameM vahI huaa| aba patra DAlanekI AvazyakatA nahIM aura na Apako adhiSThAtA padake tyAgakI icchA karanA bhI ucita hai|' bAbAjI mere vAkyoMko sunakara prathama to kucha dhyAnastha rhe| bAdameM bole ki-'Apatti kAlameM manuSya kyA-kyA nahIM karatA..........isakA Aja pratyakSa ho gyaa| dhikkAra isa saMsArako jo kapaTamaya vyavahArase pUrNa hai| bhAI ! maiM to mAphI de cukA, aba yadi daNDa detA hU~ to yaha saba vivaraNa likhanA hogA, antatogatvA tuma sadA aparAdhI samajhe jAoge aura maiM bhI ayogya zAsaka / ataH aba na to tumheM daNDa deneke bhAva haiM aura na hI isa pada para merI kAma karanekI icchA hai| maiM tumheM parama mitra samajhatA hU~, kyoMki tumhAre hI nimittase Aja maiMne AtmIya padako samajhA hai| bhaviSyameM kabhI kisI saMsthAke adhyakSakA pada grahaNa na karU~gA aura isa padase Aja hI istIphA detA hU~| cU~ki tuma mere parama mitra ho, ataH tumheM bhI yaha zikSA detA hU~ ki paropakAra karanA, parantu adhyakSa na bananA, Age, tumhArI jo icchA ho so krnaa| abhI isa For Personal & Private Use Only

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88 merI jIvanagAthA aparAdhakA daNDa svayaM le lo|' maiM bolA- 'mahArAja ! maiMne jo kiyA so isI lobhase ki bAbAjI mahArAjake patroMmeM paraspara virodha na ho / jeba kATanevAloMkI taraha yaha merA pezA nahIM thA, phira bhI bAhya dRSTise dekhanevAle ise na mAneMge aura mujhe isa aparAdhakA daNDa hI deveMge, ApakI jo AjJA hai ki isa aparAdhakA prAyazcita svayaM kara lo... vaha mujhe mAnya hai| mahArAja ! kala jo sAmUhika bhojana hogA, maiM usameM chAtroMkI paMktise bAhya sthAna para baiTha kara bhojana karU~gA / aura bhojanoparAnta chAtragaNake bhojanakA sthAna pavitra karU~gA / pazcAt snAna kara zrI pArzvaprabhukA vandana karU~gA tathA eka mAsa paryanta madhura bhojana na karU~gA / ' 1 bAbAjI bahuta prasanna hue, chAtragaNa bhI harSita ho dhanyavAda dene lage / saba loga Anandase paMkti bhojanameM ekatrita hue / maiMne jaisA prAyazcita liyA thA usIke anukUla kArya kiyaa| isake bAda maiM Anandase adhyayana karane lagA aura mahArAja dUsare hI dina istIphA dekara cale gaye / lAlA prakAzacandra raIsa kucha dinake bAda sahAranapurase svargIya lAlA rUpacandrajI raIsake suputra zrIprakAzacandrajI banArasa vidyAlayameM adhyayanake liye Aye / Apa bar3e bhArI gaNyamAna prasiddha raIsake putra the, ataH jahA~ maiM rahatA thA usIke sAmane kI koTharImeM rahane lge| jisameM maiM rahatA thA vaha zrImAn bAbU chedIlAlajI raIsa banArasavAloMkA mandira hai / gaMgAke taTapara banA huA mandirakA anupama aura sundara bhavana aba bhI bar3A bhalA mAlUma hotA hai / mandirake nIce dharmazAlA thii| vahIM para eka koTharImeM maiM ThaharA thA aura sAmanevAlI koTharImeM zrIprakAzacandrajI sAhaba Thahara gaye / Apa raIsake putra the tathA par3hanemeM kuzAgrabuddhi the / ApakI bhojanAdi kriyA raIsoMke samAna thii| yadi Apa chAtra banakara banArasa rahate aura vidyAdhyayanameM upayoga lagAte to isameM sandeha nahIM ki ginatI ke vidvAn hote aura inake dvArA jainadharmakA vizeSa pracAra hotA, parantu bhavitavya durnivAra hai / Apako vidyAlayakA bhojana rucikara nahIM huA, ataH ApakI pRthak rasoI banane lagI tathA rasoiyA loga bhI unakI rucike anukUla hI saba kArya karane lage / para yaha nizcita siddhAnta hai ki paThanakAryameM rasanAlampaTatA bhI bAdhaka hai / yahA~ taka hI sImA rahatI to kucha hAni na thI, para Apa bahuta kucha Age bar3ha cuke the / For Personal & Private Use Only

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lAlA prakAzacandra raIsa - eka dina chAtragaNa, maiM tathA Apa pratipadAkI chuTTI honese sAyaMkAlake samaya mandAkinIke mandira gaye the| vandanA kara jisa mArgase vApisa lauTa rahe the usameM eka nATakagRha thaa| usa dina 'hasIre hirsa' nATaka thaa| Apa bole-'calo nATaka dekha aaveN| hama chAtra logoMne kahA-'prathama to hama logoM ke pAsa paisA nahIM, dUsare suparinTenDenTa sAhabase chuTTI nahIM lAye, ataH hama to jAte haiM ! parantu Apa to svatantra prakRtike nirbhaya raIsa-putra the, ataH kahane lage-'hama to nATaka dekhakara hI aaveNge| hama loga to usI samaya cale Aye, para Apa nATaka dekhakara rAtrike do baje bhadainIghATa phuNce| prAtaH kAla zaucAdise nivRtta hokara par3haneke lie cale gye| lAlA prakAzacandrajI kevala sAhityagrantha par3hate the| dhanika honese suparinTenDenTa sAhabakA bhI Apapara koI vizeSa dabAva nahIM thaa| adhyApakagaNa yadyapi Apapara isa bAtakA bahuta kucha prabhAva DAlate the ki kevala sAhitya par3hanese vizeSa lAbha nhiiN| isake sAtha nyAya aura dharmazAstrakA bhI adhyayana karo, parantu Apa bAtoMmeM hI TAla dete the aura dharmazarmAbhyudayake cAra yA pA~ca zloka par3hakara apaneko chAtra-gaNoMmeM mukhya samajhane lage the| jisa dinase Apa nATaka dekhakara Aye, na jAne kyoM usa dinase ApakI pravRtti ekadama viruddha ho gii| Apake do hI kAma mukhya raha gaye-1. dinako bhojanake bAda cAra baje taka sonA aura 2. rAtriko bAraha baje taka nATaka dekhanA, pazcAt do ghaNTA kahA~ para bitAte bhagavAn jAne, DhAI baje nivAsa sthAna para Ate the| eka dina bar3e Agrahake sAtha hamase bole-'nATaka dekhane clo|' maiMne kahA-'maiM nahIM jAtA, Apa to 3) kI kursI para AsIna hoMge aura hama / / ) ke TikaTa meM ga~vAra manuSyoMke bIca baiThakara sigareTa tathA bIr3I kI gandha sUMghege....yaha mujhase na hogaa| Apa bole-'acchA 3) kI TikaTa para dekhanA / ' maiMne kahA-'eka dina dekhanese kyA hogA ?' Apane jhaTa 1000) kA noTa mere hAthameM dete hue kahA-'lo bAraha mAsakA jimmA maiM letA hU~ maiM Dara gayA, maiMne unakA noTa unheM dete hue kahA ki 'jaba rAtribhara nATaka dekhegeM taba pAThyapustaka kaba dekhegeN| ataH Apa kRpA kIjiye, mere sAtha aisA vyavahAra karanA acchA nhiiN| tathA Apako bhI ucita hai ki yadi banArasa Aye ho to vidyArjana dvArA paNDita banakara jAo, jisameM Apake pitAko Ananda ho aura Apake dvArA jainadharmakA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 90 pracAra bhI ho, kyoMki Apa dhanADhya haiM, ApakA kaNTha bhI uttama hai, buddhi bhI nirmala hai aura rUpasaundaryameM bhI Apa rAjakumAroMko lajjita karate haiN| AzA hai Apa hamArI sammatiko apnaaveNge| yadi Apa hamArI sammatikA anAdara kareMge to uttara kAlameM pazcAttApake pAtra hoMge / ' para kauna sunatA thA, unhoMne hamArI sammatikA anAdara karate hue kahA ki hamAre pAsa itanA vibhava hai ki bIsoM paNDita hamArA daravAjA khaTakhaTAte haiN| maiMne kahA- 'ApakA daravAjA hI to khaTakhaTAte haiM aura Apako banAkara Apase kucha le jAte haiM, para tuma to unase kucha nahIM le pAte, buddha-ke-buddhU hI bane rahate ho| svayaM paNDita bano, bhAgyane tumhAre liye saba anukUla yogyatA dI hai, ApakA kula dhArmika hai, pUjA-prabhAvanAmeM prasiddha hai! Apa hI ke dAdA bhArUmallajIne zikharajIkA saMgha nikAlA, Apa hI ke cAcAne alIgar3ha pAThazAlAmeM 100 ) mAsikakI sahAyatA dI, Apa hI ke cAcA lAlA ugrasenajIne 100) mAsika dekara mahAvidyAlaya mathurAkA saJcAlana karAyA, Apa hI ke cAcAke yahA~ nyAyadivAkara paM. pannAlAlajI sAhaba adhikAMza nivAsa karate the tathA paNDita lAlamanajI sAhaba aura phArasIke paNDita unake sahayogameM apanA samaya dete the, Apa hI ke bhAI sAhaba lAlA jambUprasAdajI Adi jainadharmake pramukha vidvAn haiM, vidvAn hI nahIM, pratidina cAra ghaNTA nityaniyamameM lagAte haiM, Apake hI bhAI lAlA hulAsarAyajI kitane dharmAtmA haiM, yaha kisIse chipA nahIM, tathA Apake yahA~ do yA cAra dharmAtmA - tyAgI loga Apake caukAmeM bhojana kara dharmasAdhana karate haiM, Apake pitA apanA samaya nirantara dharmadhyAnameM lagAte haiN| kahane kA tAtparya yaha hai ki Apake vaMzameM nirantara dharmakriyAoM kA samAdara hai, para Apa kyA kara rahe haiM ? ApakI yaha nindya-dharmaviruddha pravRtti Apake patana meM kAraNa hogI, ataH ise tyAgo / ' maiMne saba kucha kahA parantu sunatA kauna thA ? jaba AdamI madAndha ho jAtA hai taba hitakI bAta kahanevAloMko bhI zatru samajhane lgtaa| Apa bole- 'abhI tumane ina kAryoMkA svAda nahIM pAyA, prathama to tuma chAtra ho, chAtra hI nahIM, parAdhIna vRttise adhyayana kara rahe ho, pAsameM paisA nahIM, tumheM aise nATyakalAke dRzya kahA~ nasIba haiM ? dehAtI AdamI ho, kabhI tumheM nagaranivAsI janakA samparka nahIM milA, tuma rAga-raMgameM kyA jAno ? tathA tuma bundelakhaNDI ho, jahA~ aise sarasa nATaka Adi karanevAloMkA prAyaH abhAva hI hai, ataH hamako zikSA dene For Personal & Private Use Only

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lAlA prakAzacandra raIsa Aye, apanI zikSA apane hI meM sImita rakho, hama raIsake bAlaka haiM, hamArA jIvana nirantara Amoda-pramodameM jAtA hai| dekho hamArI caryA, jaba prAtaHkAla huA aura hamArI nidrA bhaMga huI nahIM ki eka naukara loTA liye khar3A, hama zaucagRhameM gaye nahIM ki loTA rakhA pAyA, zaucagRhase bAhara Aye ki loTA uThAne ke lie AdamI daur3A, anantara eka AdamIne pAnI dekara hAtha-paira dhulAye to dUsarene jhaTase tauliyAse sApha kiye, usI samaya tIsare naukarane Akara hAthameM dantadhAvana dI, hamane mukhamArjana kiyA, pazcAt nAI AyA, vaha sirameM tathA sampUrNa zarIrameM mAliza kara jAneko udyata huA ki pA~cavA~ naukara garama pAnIse snAna karAne lagatA hai, snAnake anantara sarvAMgako tauliyAse mArjana kara kaMghAse zirake bAla sa~bhAraneke liye taiyAra huA ki eka AdamIne sanmukha hAthameM darpaNa liyA, eka AdamI dhotI liye alaga khar3A rahatA hai, hamane dhotI pahana kara kuratA pahanA aura darpaNameM mukha dekha saba kAryoMse nivRtta ho mandira jAneke liye taiyAra hue ki eka AdamI chatarI liye pIche-pIche calane lagA, mandira pahu~ca kara zrIjinendra prabhuke darzana kara nAmamAtrako svAdhyAya kiyA, phira usI rItise ghara A gaye, anantara dugdhapAnAdi kara pazcAt adhyApakoM dvArA kucha par3hakara zikSAkI razmako adA kiyA / pazcAt madhyAhnake bhojanakI kriyAse nivRtta hokara so gaye, soneke bAda santarA, anAra, mausaMbIkA zarbata pAna kara kucha jalapAna kiyA, anantara khela-kUdake bAgameM cale gaye, vahA~se Akara sAyaMkAlakA bhojana kiyA, fira galpa bAjArako harA-bharA kara yadvA tadvA goSThIkathA karane lage, rAtrike nau bajeke bAda kisI nATakagRha athavA sinemA meM cale gaye aura vahA~se Akara dugdhAdi -pAna kara so ge| yaha hamArI dinarAtrikI caryA hai| tuma logoMko ina rAjakIya sukhoMkA kyA anubhava ? isIliye hamase kahate ho ki isa kAryako tyAgo, kalpanA karo, yadi tumhArA bhAgya tumhAre anukUla hotA aura jo sAmagrI hameM sulabha hai, tumako bhI sulabha hotI, to Apa kyA karate ? na hone para yaha saba zikSA sUjhatI hai / 'vastrAbhAve brahmacArI / ' athavA kisI kavine kahA hai 91 'kahA karU~ dhana hai nahIM, hotA to kisa kAma / jinake hai una sama kahA, hota nahIM pariNAma / / ' bhAvArtha isakA yaha hai - koI manuSya manameM socatA hai ki kyA karU~ ? pAsameM dhana nahIM hai, anyathA saMsArameM apUrva dAna kara dIna-daridroMko saMtuSTa kara detA / parantu phira vecAratA hai ki yadi dhana hotA bhI to kisa kAmakA ? For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA kyoMki jinake pAsa dhana hai, kyA unake sadRza mere bhI pariNAma na ho jAte ?' kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki tumhAre pAsa dhana hotA to isI tarahake kAryoM meM pravRtti tumhArI bhI ho jAtI, parantu pAsameM yatheSTa paisA nahIM, ataH hamako hI zikSA denemeM apanI prabhutA dikhAnA jAnate ho| athavA kisIne ThIka kahA hai __'jo dhanavanta so deya kucha deya kahA dhanahIna / kahA nicore nagna jana nahAya sarovara kiin||' arthAt jo kucha de sakatA hai vaha dhanavanta hI de sakatA hai, jo dhanahIna-daridra hai vaha kyA degA ? jaise sarovarameM snAna karanevAlA nagnajana vastra na honese kyA nicor3egA ? ataH tumhAre pAsa kucha paisA to hai hI nahIM, isIliye hameM zikSA dene Aye ho| tumhArA bhAgya thA ki hama jaise vaibhavazAlI tumheM mila gaye the, hama tumheM nATaka hI nahIM saba rasakA AsvAdana karA dete parantu tuma kyA karo, bhAgya bhI to isa yogya honA caahiye| aba hamane yaha nizcaya kara liyA ki tuma rasAsvAdoMke pAtra nhiiN|' lAlA prakAzacandrajI jaba itanA kaha cuke taba maiMne kahA-'lAlAjI ! tuma bar3I bhUla kara rahe ho, isakA phala atyanta hI kaTuka hogaa| abhI to tumheM nATakakI cATa lagI hai, kucha dina bAda vaizyA aura madyakI cATa lagegI aura taba tuma apanI kula-paramparAkI rakSA na kara skoge| bar3e-bar3e rAjA mahArAjA ina vyasanoMmeM anurakta hokara adhogatike bhAjana hue, Apa to unake samakSa kucha bhI nahIM, kyA Apane cArudattakA carita nahIM par3hA hai jo ki isa viSayameM karor3oM dInAreM kho cukA thaa| hameM tumhAre rUpa aura jJAnapara tarasa AtA hai tathA Apake vaMza-paramparAkI nirmala kIrtikA smaraNa hote hI ekadama kheda hone lagatA hai| manameM AtA hai ki he bhagavAn ! yaha kyA ho rahA hai ? hamArA Apase koI sambandha nahIM, phira bhI manuSyake nAte ApakI kutsita pravRtti dekha udvigna ho jAtA hU~, sAtha hI isa bAtakA bhaya bhI lagatA hai ki Apake pUjya pitAjI va bhAI sAhaba kyA kaheMge ki tuma vahA~ para the phira ciraMjIvI prakAzakI aisI pravRtti kyoM huI ? ataH Apa hamArI zikSA mAno yA na mAno, parantu AgamameM jo likhA hai use to mAno / chAtroMkA kAma adhyayana karanA hI mukhya hai, nATakAdi dekhakara samayako barabAda karanA chAtra-jIvanakA ghAtaka hai, tumhArI buddhi nirmala hai, abhI vaya bhI choTA hai, abhI tuma samIcIna mArgameM A sakate ho, abhI tumheM lajjA hai, gurujIkA bhaya hai aura yaha bhI bhaya hai ki pitAjI na jAna skeN| kharcake liye For Personal & Private Use Only

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lAlA prakAzacandra raIsa 93 Apake pitAjI 250) mAsika hI to bhejate haiM para tuma 250) kI evajameM 500) mAsika vyaya karate ho| yadi aisA na hotA to do mAsameM tumheM 500) karja kaise ho jAte ? tumane hamase udhAra mA~ge, yadyapi mere pAsa na the to bhI maiMne bAIjIkI sonekI sa~kalI gahane rakhakara 500) tumheM diye, phira bhI tuma nirantara vyagra rahate ho / aba do mAsa ho gaye, tumheM 500) aura cAhiye tathA bAIjI kahatI haiM ki bhaiyA sa~kalI lAo, ataH maiM bhI asamaMjasameM par3A huuN|' devayogase usI dina lAlA prakAzacandrakA 1000) eka hajAra rupayA A gayA, 500) mujhe de diye, maiM bAIjIkI cintAse unmukta huaa| bAtacItakA silasilA jArI rakhate hue maiMne phira kahA-'kaho prakAza ! aba kyA isa kuTevako chor3oge yA gartameM par3oge ?' bahuta kucha kahA, parantu eka bhI na sunI aura nirantara prati rAtri nATaka dekhane ke lie jAnA aura rAtrike do baje vApisa AnA yaha unakA mukhya kArya jArI rhaa| kabhI-kabhI to prAtaHkAla Ate the, ataH anya pApakI bhI zaMkA hone lagI aura vaha bhI satya hI niklii| eka dina maiM acAnaka unakI koTharImeM pahu~ca gayA, usa samaya Apa eka glAsameM kucha pAna kara rahe the, mujhe dekhate hI unhoMne vaha glAsa gaMgA taTapara pheMka diyaa| maiMne kahA-'kyA thA ?' Apa bole 'gulAba zarbata thaa| maiMne kahA-'pheMkanekI kyA AvazyakatA thI? Apa bole-'usameM kIr3I nikala AI thii| maiMne kahA-'ThIka, para glAsa pheMkanekI AvazyakatA na thii| Apane kucha abhimAnake sAtha kahA-'hama loga raIsa haiN| aisI parvAha nahIM krte|' maiMne kahA-'ThIka, parantu yaha jo gandha mahaka rahI hai, kisakI hai ?' Apa bole-'tumheM yadi sandeha hai to pIkara dekha lo, mahArAja ! lAo eka glAsa zarbata gulAbakA inako pilA do, taba inako patA laga jAvegA kyA hai ? yaha to sandeha karate haiM, Aja inheM jAne mata do|' maiM to Dara gayA aura pezAbakA bahAnA kara bhAga aayaa| usa dinase lAlA prakAzacandrase merA saMsarga chUTa gyaa| usake bAda unakI jo avasthA huI vaha gupta nhiiN| unake pitA va bhAI sAhaba Adi sabako unakA kRtya vidita ho gyaa| usI varSa unakI zAdI rAjA dInadayAla, jo navAba haidarAbAdake yahA~ rahate the, unake yahA~ ho gyii| unakA caritra sudhAraneke liye saba kucha upAya kiye gaye, parantu saba viphala hue| antameM Apa sahAranapura pahu~ca gaye aura vahA~ rahanekA jo mahala thA use chor3akara eka svataMtra bhavanameM rahane lge| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 94 jaba eka bAra maiM sahAranapura lAlA jambUprasAdajIke yahA~ gayA thA, taba acAnaka Apase bheMTa ho gii| Apa balAtkAra mujhe apane bhavanameM le gaye aura nAnA prakArake upAlambha dene lage-'tumheM ucita thA ki hameM sumArga para lAnekA prayatna karate, paraMtu tumane hamArI upekSA kii| Aja hamArI yaha dazA ho gaI ki hamArA 1000) mAsika vyaya hai phira bhI truTi rahatI hai| ye vyasana aise haiM ki inameM araboMkI sampatti bilA jAtI hai| maiMne kahA-'maiMne to kAzImeM Apako bahuta hI samajhAyA thA ki lAlAjI ! isa kukRtyameM na par3o, parantu Apane eka na mAnI aura mujhe hI DA~TA ki tuma loga daridra ho, tumheM ina nATakAdi rasoMkA kyA svAda ? maiM cupa raha gayA, bhavitavya durnivAra hai|' merI bAta pUrI na ho pAI thI ki lAlAjIne jhaTa botaloMmeMse kucha lAla-lAla pAnI nikAlA aura eka glAsa, jo choTA-sA thA, pI gaye mujhase bhI balAtkAra pInekA Agraha karane lge| maiMne kahA-'bhAI sAhaba ! mujhe dIrgha zaMkA jAnA hai, jAkara AtA huuN|' unhoMne kahA-'acchA yahIM cale jaao|' maiM loTA lekara maya kapar3oMke zaucagRhakI ora jAne lgaa| dekhate hI Apane TokA 'bhale mAnuSa ! kapar3A to utAra do|' maiMne kahA-'jaldI jAnA hai|' ityAdi kahakara maiMne jor3A to vahIM chor3A aura zIghra calakara daravAje taka AyA, vahA~ loTA chor3A aura zrIlAlA jambUprasAdajI raIsake ghara sakuzala pahuMca gyaa| lAlAjIne hAMphate dekhakara kahA-'bhayabhIta kyoM ho ?' maiMne AdyopAnta saba samAcAra sunA diyaa| lAlAjIne usI samaya bAdAma kA rogana zirameM malavAyA aura kahA-ki 'aba Aindaha bhUlakara bhI usa ora na jaanaa| maiMne kahA-'zrI jinendradevake dharmakA prasAda thA jo Aja baca gyaa| aba kadApi usa mArgase na nikluuNgaa|' manameM AyA ki 'he bhagavAn ! tumhArI mahimA apAra hai| yadyapi Apa taTastha haiM tathApi Apake nAmake prasAdase hI maiM Aja pApapaMkase lipta nahIM huaa| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki jo manuSya bAlakapanase apanI pravRttiko sumArga para nahIM lAte unakI yahI gati hotI hai jo ki hamAre abhinna mitrakI huii| mA~-bApa sahasroM-lAkhoM rupayA bAlaka-bAlikAoMke vivAha Adi kAryoM meM pAnIkI taraha bahA dete haiM, parantu jisameM unakA jIvana sukhamaya bIte aisI zikSAmeM paisA vyaya karaneke liye kRpaNa hI rahate haiN| yahI kAraNa hai ki bhAratake bAlaka prAyaH bAlakapanase hI kusaMgatimeM par3akara apanA sarvasva naSTa kara lete haiN| isa viSayameM vizeSa likhakara pAThakoMkA samaya nahIM lenA caahtaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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banArasa hindU-yUnivarsiTImeM jaina korsa 95 antameM lAlA prakAzacandrajIkA jIvana rAga-raMgameM gyaa| Apake koI putra nahIM huaa| isa prakAra saMsArakI dazA dekhakara uttama puruSoMko ucita hai ki apane bAlakoMko sumArga para lAneke liye skUlI zikSAke pahale dhArmika zikSA deM aura unakI kutsita pravRtti para prArambhase hI niyantraNa rakheM / astu, banArasa hindU-yUnivarsiTImeM jaina korsa __maiM zrI zAstrIjIse nyAyazAstrakA adhyayana karane lgaa| aSTasahasrI grantha, jisameM devAgama stotra sahita zrI akalaMka svAmI viracita AThasau zlokapramita (aSTazatI) bhASyake Upara zrI vidyAnanda svAmI kRta ATha hajAra zlokoMmeM gambhIra vizada vivecanake sAtha Apta bhagavAnke svarUpakA nirNaya hai, par3hane lgaa| merI isa granthake Upara mahatI ruci thii| usake Upara likhA hai "zrotavyASTasahasrI zrutaiH kimanyaiH sahasrasaMkhyAnaiH / vijJAyeta yayaiva svasamayaparasamayasadbhAvaH / / " jisake Upara zrI yazovijaya upAdhyAyane likhA hai ki _ 'viSamA aSTasahasrI assttshaurvivecyte|' __ zrIzAstrIjIke anugrahase merA yaha grantha eka varSa meM pUrNa ho gyaa| jisa dina merA yaha mahAn grantha pUrNa huA usI dina maiMne zrIzAstrIjIke caraNakamaloMmeM 500) kI eka hIrAkI aMgUThI bheMTa kara dii| zrIyutta pUjya zAstrIjIne bahuta hI Agraha kiyA ki yaha kyA karatA hai ? tU mAmUlI chAtra hai, itanI zakti tumhArI nahIM jo itanA dAna kara sako, hamArI avasthA aMgUThI pahinanekI nahIM ityAdi bahuta kucha unhoMne kahA, parantu maiM unake caraNoMmeM loTa gayA, maiMne namra zabdoMmeM kahA ki 'mahArAja ! Aja mujhe itanA harSa hai ki mere pAsa rAjya hotA to maiM use bhI Apake caraNoMmeM samarpita kara tRpta nahIM hotA, ataH AzA karatA hU~ ki Apa merI tuccha bheMTako avazya hI svIkRta kara leM, anyathA mujhe atyanta saMkleza hogaa|' merA Agraha dekhakara zrImAn zAstrIjIne yadyapi aMgUThI le lI, parantu unakA antaraMga yahI rahA ki yaha kisI taraha vApisa le letA to acchA hotaa| inhIM dinoM bhAratake nararatna zrImAlavIyajI dvArA hindU yUnivarsiTIkI sthApanA huii| usameM sarva darzanoMke zAstroMke paThanapAThanake liye bar3e-bar3e diggaja vidvAn rakkhe gaye / zAstrIjI mahArAja saMskRta vibhAgake priMsipala hue| unhoMne zrImAlavIyajIse kahA ki 'jaba isa yUnivarsiTImeM saba matoMke zAstroM ke adhyayanakA prabandha hai taba eka ceyara jainAgamake pracArake liye bhI honA caahiye| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 96 zrImAlavIyajIne kahA-'acchA sIneTameM yaha prastAva rakhiye, jo nirNaya hogA vaha kiyA jaavegaa|' sIneTakI jisa dina baiThaka thI usa dina zAstrIjI ne kahA-'pustakeM lekara tuma bhI dekhane clo|' maiM pustakeM lekara zAstrIjI mahArAjake pIche-pIche calane lgaa| bIcameM eka mahAzayane, jo bahuta hI bRhatkAya evaM sundara zarIra the tathA sIneTake bhavanakI ora jA rahe the, mujhase pUchA, kahA~ jA rahe ho ?' maiMne kahA-'mahAnubhAva ! maiM zrIzAstrIjIkI AjJAse jainanyAyakI pustakeM lekara kameTImeM jA rahA huuN| Aja vahA~ isa viSayapara UhApoha hogaa| Apa bole-yadyapi jainadharmake anukUla prAyaH bahuta membara nahIM haiM phira bhI maiM koziza karU~gA ki jainAgamako paThana-pAThanameM AnA cAhiye, kyoMki yaha mata anAdi hai tathA isa matake anuyAyI bahuta hI saccaritra hote haiM .......isa matake mAnanevAloMkI saMkhyA cU~ki alpa raha gaI hai, isIliye yaha sarva-kalyANaprada hotA huA bhI prasArameM nahIM A rahA hai...........ityAdi kahaneke bAda mujhase khaa-'clo|' maiM bhavana ke andara pahu~ca gayA, pustakeM meja para rakha dI aura maiM zAstrIjIkI AjJAnusAra eka baiMca para baiTha gyaa| mITiMgakI kAravAI prArambha huii| mahArAja mAlavIyajI bhI usa sabhAmeM virAjamAna the| DAkTara gaMgAnAtha jhA, DAkTara bhagavAnadAsajI sAhaba tathA anya bar3e-bar3e vidvAn bhI usa samiti meM upasthita the| jo mahAzaya mujhe mArgameM mile the ve bhI pahu~ca gye| pahu~cate hI unhoMne sabhApati mahodayase kahA ki 'AjakI sabhAmeM aneka viSayoM para vicAra honA hai, eka viSaya jainazAstroMkA bhI hai, "sUcIkaTAhanyAyena' sarvaprathama isI viSaya para vicAra ho jAnA acchA hai, kyoMki yaha viSaya zIghra hI ho jAvegA aura yaha chAtra jo ki pustakeM lekara AyA hai calA jaavegaa| cU~ki yaha jaina chAtra hai, ataH rAtriko nahIM khaataa| dinako hI cale jAne meM isakA bhojana nahIM cuukegaa|' pazcAt zrIambAdAsajI zAstrIse Apane kahA 'acchA, zAstrIjI ! Apa batAiye ki pravezikAmeM pahale kauna-sI pustaka rakhI jAve ?' zAstrIjIne nyAyadIpikA pustaka lekara Apako dii| Apane usa samitimeM jo vidvAn the unheM dete hue kahA- 'dekhiye yaha pustaka kaisI hai ? kyA isake par3hanese chAtra madhyamAke viSayoMmeM praveza kara sakegA ?' paNDita mahAzayane pustakako sarasarI dRSTise AdyopAnta dekhA aura 5 minaTake bAda mejapara rakhate hue kucha aruci-sI prakaTa kii| Apane upasthita mahAzayoMse pUchA-'kyA bAta hai? kyA pustaka ThIka nahIM hai|' paNDitajI bole-'pustaka to uttama hai, isakA viSaya bhI prathamAke yogya For Personal & Private Use Only

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sahasranAmakA adbhuta prabhAva hai aura ise par3haneke anantara chAtra madhyamAmeM acchI taraha praveza bhI kara sakegA, parantu isameM granthakAra ne jo kucha likhA hai vaha atyanta sarala bhASAmeM likhA hai, ataH isase chAtrako graMtha lagAnekI vyutpatti derase hogii| isake bAda jo mahAzaya mujhe lAye the ve ha~sate hue bole 'paNDitajI ! Apa jAnate haiM, Ajakala usI pustakakA mahAn Adara hotA hai, jisameM viSaya atyanta sarala bhASAmeM samajhAyA jAtA hai| Apake kahanese vidita huA ki yaha pustaka sarala bhASAmeM likhI gaI hai, ataH avazya hI AdaraNIya hai| kahiye mAlavIyajI ! prArambhameM to chAtroMko aisI hI pustakoMkA adhyayana karAnA cAhiye, kyoMki prathama avasthAmeM chAtroMkI buddhi sukumAra hotI hai| pustaka jitanI sarala bhASAmeM hogI, chAtra utane hI jaldI vyutpanna ho skegaa| apadArtha nahIM honA caahiye| ......isa prakAra 5 minaTakI bahasake bAda prathama parIkSAmeM vaha pustaka rakhe gii| isake bAda 15 minaTa aura bahasa huI hogI ki utanemeM hI zAstrI parIkSA takakA korsa nizcita ho gyaa| ___ pAThakoMko yaha utkaNThA hogI ki ve mahAzaya kauna the jinhoMne ki jaina granthoMke viSayameM itanI dilacaspI lii| ve mahAzaya the zrImAn svargIya motIlAlajI neharU, jinake ki suputra jagatprakhyAta zrI javAharalAlajI neharU bhAratake siratAja haiN| sahasranAmakA adabhuta prabhAva saMvat 1677 kI bAta hai| maiM zrIzAstrIjI mahodayase nyAyazAstrakA adhyayana vizvavidyAlayameM karane lagA aura vahA~kI zAstrIya parIkSAkA chAtra ho gyaa| do varSake adhyayanake bAda zAstrI-parIkSAkA phArma bhara diyaa| unhIM dinoM hamAre prAntake lalitapura nagarameM gajaratha mahotsava thA, ataH phArma bharaneke bAda vahA~ calA gyaa| bAdameM do sthAnoMmeM aura bhI gajaratha the| isa taraha do mAsase adhika samaya laga gyaa| yahI dina abhyAsake the, zAstrIjI mahArAja bahuta hI nArAja hue| bole-'yaha tumane kyA kiyA ?' maiMne kahA'mahArAja ! aparAdha to mahAn huA isameM sandeha nhiiN| yadi AjJA ho to parIkSAmeM na bai-|' zAstrIjI bole-'kitane parizramase to jaina zAstrake nyAyagraMthoMkA yUnivarsiTImeM praveza karAyA aura phira kahatA hai-parIkSAmeM na bailuuNgaa| maiMne kahA 'jo aajnyaa|' unhoMne AzIrvAda dete hue kahA ki 'acchA parizrama karo, vizvanAtha bhalA kregaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 98 bIsa dina parIkSAke raha gaye the, kaI graMtha to jyoM-ke-tyoM sandUkameM rakhe rahe jaise sanmati tarka aadi| phira bhI parIkSAkA sAhasa kiyaa| merA yaha kAma raha gayA ki prAtaHkAla gaMgAsnAna karanA, vahA~se Akara zrIpArzvaprabhuke darzana karanA, isake bAda mahAmaMtrakI eka mAlA japanA, isake anantara sahasranAmakA pATha karanA, phira pustakoM kA avalokana karanA, isake bAda bhojana karanA aura phira sahasranAmakA pATha krnaa| isI prakAra sAyaMkAlako bhojana karanA, pazcAt gaMgA taTapara bhramaNa karanA aura vahIMpara mahAmaMtrakI mAlA karaneke bAda sahasranAmakA pATha krnaa| isa taraha pandraha dina pUrNa kiye| samvat 1680 kI bAta hai jisa dina parIkSA thii| usa dina prAtaH kAla zaucAdise nivRtta hokara zrI mandirajI gaye aura zrI pArzvaprabhuke darzana kara sahasranAmakA pATha kiyaa| pazcAt pustaka lekara parIkSA deneke liye vizvavidyAlaya cale gye| mArgameM pustakake 5-6 sthala dekha liye| ATha baje parIkSA prArambha ho gaI, paracA hAthameM AyA, zrImahAmaMtrake prasAdase pustakake jo sthala mArgameM dekhe the ve hI praznapatrameM A gye| phira kyA thA ? AnandakI sImA na rhii| tIna ghaNTA taka praznoMkA acche prakAra uttara likhate rhe| anantara pAThazAlAmeM A gye| isI prakAra ATha dinake parace Anandase kiye aura parIkSAphalakI bATa johane lge| sAta saptAha bAda parIkSAphala niklaa| maiMne bar3I utsukatAke sAtha zAstrIjIke pAsa jAkara pUchA-'mahArAja ! kyA maiM pAsa ho gayA ?' mahArAjane bar3I prasannatAse uttara diyA-'are beTA ! terA bhAgya jabaradasta nikalA, tU pharsTa DivIjanameM uttIrNa huaa| are, itanA hI nahIM pharsTa pAsa huaa| tere 800 nambaroMmeM 640 nambara aaye| aba tU zAstrAcArya parIkSA pAsa kara / tujhe 25) mAsika chAtravRtti milegii| maiM bahuta hI prasanna hU~ ki mere dvArA eka vaizya chAtrako yaha sammAna milaa| aba beTA eka bAta merI mAnanA, zAstrAcArya parIkSAkA abhyAsa karanA, itanemeM hI santoSa mata kara lenaa| terI buddhi kSaNika hai| kSaNika hI nahIM, komala bhI hai| tU pratyekake prabhAvameM A jAtA hai, ataH merI yaha AjJA hai ki aba tuma bAlaka nhiiN| kucha dinake bAda kAryakSetrameM Aoge, isase cittako sthira kara kArya kro|' maiM praNAma kara sthAnapara A gyaa| kvInsa kAleja banArasakI nyAyamadhyamAneM to maiM pahale hI saMvat 1664 meM uttIrNa ho cukA thA, ataH AcArya prathama khaNDake par3hanekI koziza karane lgaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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bAIjIke zirazzUla bAIjIke zirazzUla mujhe koI vyagratA na ho, Anandase paThana-pAThana ho....isa abhiprAyase bAIjI bhI banArasake bhelUpurameM rahA karatI thiiN| unakI kRpAse mujhe Arthika vyagratA nahIM rahatI thI tathA bhojanAdika vyavasthAkI bhI AkulatA nahIM karanI par3atI thii| yaha saba subhItA honepara bhI aisA kaThina saMkaTa upasthita huA ki bAIjIke mastakameM zUlavedanA ho gaI aura isI vedanAse unakI A~khameM motiyAbinda bhI ho gyaa| ina kAraNoMse cittameM nirantara vyagratA rahane lgii| bAIjI bolI-"bhaiyA ! vyagra mata ho, karmakA bipAka hai, jo kiyA hai, use bhoganA hI pdd'egaa|' maiMne kahA-'bAIjI ! yahA~ para eka DAkTara A~khake ilAjameM bahuta hI nipuNa hai, ve mahArAja kAzInareza ke DAkTara haiM, unake makAna para likhA hai ki jo ghara para A~kha dikhAvegA usase phIsa na lI jaavegii|' bAIjI ne kahA-'bhaiyA ! yaha saba vyApArakI nIti hai, kevala apanI pratiSThAke lie unhoMne vaha likha rakkhA hai, merA vizvAsa hai ki unase kucha bhI lAbha na hogaa|' maiMne bAIjIkI bAta na mAnI aura tA~gA kara unheM DAkTara sAhabake ghara le gyaa| DAkTara sAhabane 5 minaTa dekhakara eka paracA likha diyA aura kahA-'nIce aspatAlase davA le lo| maiMne kahA-'calo, davAI to mila jaavegii|' nIce AyA, kampoTarako davAkA paracA diyaa| usane eka zIzI dI aura kahA '16) isakA mUlya hai laao|' maiMne kahA-'bAhara to likhA hai ki DAkTara sAhaba muphtameM netroMkA ilAja karate haiN| yaha rupayA kisa bAtake lete ho ?' kampoTara mahodaya dRr3hatAke sAtha bole-'yahI to likhA hai ki DAkTara sAhaba binA phIsake ilAja karate haiN| yaha to nahIM likhA ki binA kImata davAI dete haiN| yadi tuma DAkTara sAhabako ghara para bulAte to 16) phIsa, 2) bagghI bhAr3A tathA davAIkA dAma tumheM lgtaa| yahA~ Anese itanA lAbha to tumheM huA ki 18) tumhAre baca gaye aura davAI lAneke liye bAjAra jAnA par3atA, vaha samaya baca gyaa| apanA bhAgya samajho ki tumhe yaha subhItA nasIba ho gayA / aba hameM bAta karanekA samaya nahIM, anya kArya karanA hai| davAI lekara jAo aura 16) hameM do|' maiMne cupacApa unheM 16) de diye aura bAIjIko lekara bhelUpura calA gyaa| hama saMtoSake sAtha bAIjIkI vaiyAvRtta karanemeM samayakA sadupayoga karane lge| bAIjIkI dhIratA sarAhanIya thI, yahI kAraNa thA ki isa vedanAkAlameM bhI sAmAyika samaya para karanA, nitya- niyamameM jitanA kAla svastha avasthAmeM lagAtI thIM usase nyUna eka minaTa bhI na lagAnA, kisIse yaha nahIM kahanA ki For Personal & Private Use Only

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100 merI jIvanagAthA hamako vedanA hai aura pUrva taraha ha~samukha rahanA Adi unake kArya jyoM-ke-tyoM cAlU rahate the| eka dina bolIM- 'beTA hamako zUlakI vedanA bahuta hai, ataH yahA~se deza calo, vahA~ para isakA pratikAra anAyAsa ho jAyagA / hama zrI bAIjIko lekara baruAsAgara A gaye / yahA~ para eka sAdhAraNa AdamIne kisI vanaspatikI jar3a lAkara dI aura kahA ise cherIke dudhameM ghisakara lagAo, zirakI vedanA isase calI jAvegI / aisA hI huA ki usa davAIke prayogase zirovedanA to calI gaI parantu A~khakA motiyAbinda nahIM gayA / antameM sabakI yahI sammati huI ki jhA~sI jAkara DAkTarako A~kha dikhA lAnA cAhie / I bAIjIkA svAbhimAna zrI sarrApha mUlacandrajIkA jo ki eka asAdhAraNa vyakti the hamAre sAtha ghaniSTha prema ho gayA / unake saMsargameM hameM koI prakArakA kaSTa na rahA / Apa sAhUkAra the, sAhUkAra hI nahIM jamIMdAra bhI the| ApakI ruci dharmameM samyak prakArase thI / pratidina prAtaH kAla zrI jinendrakI pUjA karanA anantara eka ghaNTA zAstrasvAdhyAyameM lagAnA yaha ApakA niyamita kArya thA / bAIjIke dina bhI Anandase jAne lage / yahA~ para nandakizora alayA eka vilakSaNa buddhikA puruSa thA, bar3A hI dharmAtmA jIva thA / zrIkAmatAprasAdajI jo ki bAIjIke bhAI the bar3e hI sajjana dhArmika vyakti the tathA zrI gulAbacandrajI jo bAIjI sambandhI the, bahuta hI yogya the| Apako padmapurANake upAkhyAna prAyaH kaNThastha the| ina sabake saMparkase dharmadhyAnameM acchI taraha kAla jAne lagA, parantu bAIjIkI A~khameM jo motiyAbinda ho gayA thA vaha jyoM-kA-tyoM thA, ataH cintA nirantara rahatI thI / bAIjIkA kahanA thA ki 'beTA ! cintA mata karo, puruSArtha karo, netra acchA honA hogA ho jAvegA, cintAse kyA lAbha ? jhA~sI calo / nidAna hama, sarrApha tathA kAmatAprasAdajI bAIjIko lekara jhA~sI gaye aura bar3I aspatAlameM phuNce| vahA~ para eka baMgAlI DAkTara A~khake ilAja meM bahuta hI nipuNa thA / use bAIjIkI A~kha dikhalAI, usane 10 minaTameM parIkSA kara kahA ki 'motiyAbinda hai, nikala sakatA hai, cintA karanekI koI bAta nahIM, 15 dinameM ArAma ho jAyegA, hamArI 50) phIsa lgegii| yadi yahA~ sarakArI vArDameM na rahoge to 5) roja para eka ba~galA mila jAyagA, 15) dinake 75) lageMge tathA eka kampoTara kI 15) dinakI phIsa pRthak denI par3egI / ' sarrAphane kahA- 'koI bAta nahIM, kabase A jAveM / usane kahA- 'kalase A For Personal & Private Use Only

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bAIjIkA mahAn tattvajJAna jAo / ' yaha saba taya honeke bAda jaba hamaloga calaneko taiyAra hue taba DAkTara sAhaba bole-'hamArA bhAratavarSa bahuta cAlAka ho gayA hai|' maiMne kahA - DAkTara sAhaba isa kathAkA yahA~ kyA avasara thA / yahA~ to A~khake ilAjakI bAta thI, yaha kahA~kI balAya ki bhAratavarSa bar3A cAlAka hai|' DAkTara sAhaba bole- 'hama tumako samajhAte haiM, hamArA kahanA anavasara nahIM, tuma va sarrAphajI bAIjIkA ilAja karAneke liye Aye, bAIjIke cinhase yaha pratIta hotA hai ki inake pAsa acchI sampatti honI cAhiye, parantu ve isa prakAra vastra pahina kara AI ki jisase dUsareko yaha nizcaya ho sake ki inake pAsa kucha nahIM, aisA asadvyavahAra acchA nhiiN|' bAIjI bolIM- 'bhaiyA DAkTara ! kyA yaha niyama hai ki jo rUpavAn ho usake pAsa dhana bhI ho, para yaha koI siddhAnta nahIM hai| dhanADhya aura rUpavattAkI koI vyApti bhI nahIM hai, ataH ApakA jJAna dUSita hai| aba hama Apase oNparezana nahIM karAnA cAhate / andhA rahanA acchA, parantu lobhI AdamIse oNparezana karAnA acchA nahIM / 101 DAkTara sAhabane bahuta kucha kahA, parantu bAIjIne oNparezana karAnA svIkAra nahIM kiyaa| zrImUlacandrajI sarrAphane bhI bahuta kucha kahA, parantu ekakI na calI aura bAIjI vahA~se kSetrapAla lalitapurako prasthAna kara gaI aura niyama kiyA ki zrI abhinandana svAmI kA darzana-pUjana kara hI apanA janma bitAyeMge / yadi koI nimitta milA to oNparezana karA leveMge, anyathA eka janma aisI hI avasthA meM yApana kreNge| bAIjIkA mahAn tattvajJAna kSetrapAla pahu~cakara bAIjI Anandase rahane lagIM / pAsameM nanadakI lar3akI thI jo unakI vaiyAvRttya karatIM thI / bAIjIkI dainika caryA isa prakAra thIM- 'prAtaHkAla sAmAyika karanA, usake bAda zaucAdise nivRtta hokara zrI abhinandanasvAmIke darzana karanA aura vahIM eka ghaNTA pATha karanA, pazcAt vandanA karake 10 baje nivAsa sthAna para Akara bhojanase nivRtta ho ArAma karanA, phira sAmAyikAdi pATha karake svAdhyAya zravaNa karanA, anantara zAntirUpase apane samayakI upayogitA karanemeM tatpara rahanA, pazcAt sAyaMkAlakI sAmAyika Adi kriyA karanA, yadi zAstra zravaNakA nimitta mila jAya taba eka ghaNTA usameM lagAnA, anantara nidrA lenA / ' For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 102 unhoMne kahIM kisIse yaha nahIM kahA ki hameM bar3A kaSTa hai aura na dainika caryAmeM kabhI zithilatA kii| eka dina mandirajI A rahI thIM ki mArgameM pattharakI Thokara laganese gira pdd'iiN| seTha mathurAdAsajI Tar3ayA, jI ki pratidina kSetrapAla para zrI abhinandana svAmI kI pUjA karaneke lie Ate the, bAIjIko girA dekha pazcAtApa karate hue bole-'kyoM bAIjI coTa laga gaI ?' bAIjI ha~satI huI bolIM-'bhaiyA ? thor3I dinakI aMdhI huuN| yadi bahuta dinakI hotI taba kucha andAja hotaa| koI cintAkI bAta nahIM, jo arjana kiyA hai vaha bhoganA hI par3egA, isameM kheda karanA vyartha hai, Apa to vivekI haiM-Agamake rasika haiN| dekho zrI kArtikeya munine zrI kArtikeyAnuprekSAmeM likhA hai 'jaM jassa jamhi dese jeNa vihANeNa jamhi kAlamhi / NAdaM jiNeNa NiyadaM jammaM vA aha va maraNaM vA / / taM tassa tamhi dese teNa vihANeNa tamhi kAlamhi / ko sakkai cAleduM iMdo vA aha jiNiMdo baa||' jisa jIvake jisa deza aura kAlameM jisa vidhAnakara janma tathA maraNa upalakSaNase sukha, duHkha, roga zoka, harSa viSAda Adi zrI jinendra bhagavAna ne dekhA hai vaha saba usa kSetra tathA usa kAlameM usI vidhAnase hovegA-use meTaneko arthAt anyathA karaneko koI samartha nahIM, cAhe indra ho athavA tIrthaMkara ho, koI bhI zakti saMsArameM janma, maraNa, sukha, duHkha Adi denemeM samartha nhiiN| isIse zrI kundakunda svAmIne samayasArake bandhAdhikArameM likhA hai 'jo maNNadi hiMsAmi ya hiMsijjAmi parehiM sttehiN| so mUDho aNNANI NANI eso du vivriido|| jo yaha mAnatA hai ki maiM parakI hiMsA karatA hU~ athavA para jIvoMke dvArA maiM mArA jAtA hU~ vaha mUr3ha hai, ajJAnI hai......aisA zrIjinendradevakA Agama hai aura jJAnI isake viparIta hai| isI prakAra jo aisA mAnatA hai ki maiM para jIvoMko jilAtA hU~ tathA para jIvoMke dvArA maiM jilAyA jAtA hU~ vaha bhI mUr3ha hai, ajJAnI hai| parantu jJAnI jIvakI zraddhA isase viparIta hai| bhAvArtha yaha hai ki na koI kisIkA mAranevAlA hai aura na koI kisIkA jilAnevAlA hai| apane Ayakarmake udayase hI prANiyoMkA jIvana rahatA hai aura usake kSayase hI maraNa hotA hai| nimitta kAraNakI apekSA yaha saba vyavahAra hai, tattva dRSTise dekhA jAve to na koI mAratA hai na utpanna karatA hai| yadi dravya dRSTise vicAra karo taba saba dravya sthira haiM paryAyadRSTise udaya bhI hotA hai aura vinAza bhii| jaisA ki For Personal & Private Use Only

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bAIjIkA mahAn tattvajJAna 103 zrI samantabhadra svAmIne kahA hai 'na sAmAnyAtmanodeti na vyeti vyaktamanvayAt / vyetyudeti vizeSAtte sahaikatrodayAdi st||' jaba ki isa prakAra vastukI sthiti hai taba duHkhake samaya kheda karanA vyartha hI hai| kyA Apane zrI samayasArake kalazAmeM nahIM par3hA ? "sarvaM sadaiva niyataM bhavati svkiiykrmodyaanmrnnjiivitduHkhsaukhym| ajJAnametadiha yattu paraH parasya kuryAtpumAnmaraNajIvitaduHkha saukhyam / / sampUrNa prANiyoMke maraNa, jIvana, duHkha aura sukha jo kucha bhI hotA hai vaha saba apane karmavipAkase hotA hai| jo manuSya aisA mAnate haiM ki parase parakA maraNa, jIvana, sukha aura duHkha hotA hai ve sabhI ajJAnI haiN| bhAvArtha yaha hai ki na to koI kisIkA rakSaka hai, na bhakSaka hai| tamhArI jo yaha mAnyatA hai ki hama saba kucha kara sakate haiN| yaha saba ajJAnakI mahimA hai| yaha jIva anAdi kAlase paryAyako hI apanA mAna rahA hai| jo paryAya pAtA hai usImeM nijatva kalpanA kara ahambuddhikA pAtra hotA hai aura usI ahambuddhise para padArthameM mamatA kara letA hai| jo padArtha apane anukUla hue unheM iSTa aura jo pratikUla hue unheM aniSTa mAnakara iSTa padArthakI rakSAmeM vyagra rahatA hai|' .. bAIjIkA tattvajJAnapUrNa uttara sunakara zrI seTha mathurAdAsajI daMga raha gye| seThajIko uttara deneke bAda bAIjI apane sthAnapara AIM aura bhojanAdise nivRtta hokara madhyAhnakI sAmAyikake anantara mujhase bolIM-'beTA ! abhI hamArA asAtAkA udaya hai, ataH motiyAbindakI auSadhi va oNparezana na hogA, tuma mere pIche apanA par3hanA na chor3o aura zIghra hI banArasa cale jaao|' maiMne kahA-'bAIjI !' mujhe dhikkAra hai ki ApakI aisI avasthAmeM jaba ki A~khoMse dikhatA nahIM, maiM banArasa calA jaauuN| yadyapi maiM ApakI kucha bhI vaiyAvRttya nahIM kara sakatA, para kama-se-kama svAdhyAya to Apake samakSa kara detA huuN|' unhoMne upekSAbhAvase kahA-'yaha saba ThIka hai para yaha kAma to pujArI kara devegaa| tuma vilamba na karo aura zIghra banArasa cale jAo, parIkSA dekara A jaanaa|' ___maiM bAIjIke vizeSa Agrahase banArasa calA gayA aura zrI zAstrIjIse pUrvavat adhyayana karane lagA, parantu citta bAIjIkI bImArImeM thA, ataH abhyAsakI zithilatA rahatI thii| phala yaha huA ki parIkSAmeM anuttIrNa ho gyaa| parIkSA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 104 deneke bAda zIghra hI maiM lalitapura lauTa aayaa| DAkTara yA sahRdayatAkA avatAra eka dina bAIjI bagIcemeM sAmAyikapATha par3haneke anantara 'rAjA rANA chatrapati hAthinake asvaar| maranA sabako eka dina apanI-apanI baar||' Adi bAraha bhAvanA par3ha rahIM thiiN| acAnaka eka aMgreja, jo usI bAgameM Tahala rahA thA, unake pAsa AyA aura pUchane lagA-'tuma kauna ho'| bAIjIne Agantuka mahAzayase kahA-'pahale Apa batAiye ki Apa kauna haiM ? jaba mujhe nizcaya ho jAvegA ki Apa amuka vyakti haiM tabhI maiM apanA paricaya de skuuNgii|' Agantuka mahAzayane kahA-'hama jhA~sIkI bar3I aspatAlake sivilasarjana haiM, A~khake DAkTara haiM aura landanake nivAsI aMgreja haiN|' bAIjIne kahA-'taba mere paricayase Apako kyA lAbha ?' usane kahA kucha lAbha nahIM, parantu tumhAre netrameM motiyAbinda ho gayA hai| eka A~khakA nikAlanA to aba vyartha hai, kyoMki usake dekhanekI zakti naSTa ho cukI hai| para dUsare A~khameM dekhanekI zakti hai| usakA motiyAbinda dUra honese tumheM dIkhane lgegaa|' ___aba bAIjIne use apanI AtmakathA sunAI, apanI dravyakI vyavasthA, dharmAcaraNakI vyavasthA Adi saba kucha use sunA diyA aura merI ora izArA kara yaha bhI kaha diyA ki isa bAlakako maiM pAla rahI hU~ tathA ise dharmazAstra paDhAneke liye banArasa rakhatI huuN| maiM bhI vahA~ rahatI thI, para A~kha kharAba ho jAnese yahA~ calI AI huuN| usane pUchA-'tumhArA nirvAha kaise hotA hai ?' bAIjIne kahA-'mere pAsa 10000) haiM, usakA 100) mAsika sUda AtA hai, usImeM merA, lar3akIkA, isakI mA~kA aura isa baccekA nirvAha hotA hai| A~khake jAnese merA dharma-kArya svataMtratAse nahIM hotaa|' DAkTara mahodayane kahA-'tuma cintA mata karo, hama tumhArI A~kha acchI kara degaa|' bAIjIne kahA-mahAzaya ! maiM ApakA kahanA satya mAnatI hU~, parantu eka bAta merI suna lIjiye, vaha yaha ki maiM eka bAra jhA~sIkI bar3I aspatAlameM gaI thii| vahA~ para eka ba~gAlI mahAzayane merI A~kha dekhI aura 50) phIsa maaNgii| maiMne denA svIkAra kiyA, parantu unhoMne yaha kahA ki 'bhAratavarSake manuSya bar3e beImAna hote haiN| tumhAre zarIrase to yaha pratyaya hotA hai ki tuma dhanazAlI ho, parantu kapar3e daridroM kaise pahane ho ?' mujhe usake yaha vacana tIrakI taraha cubhe| bhalA Apa hI batalAiye jo rogIke sAtha aise For Personal & Private Use Only

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DAkTara yA sahRdayatAkA avatAra 105 anarthapUrNa vAkyoMkA vyavahAra kare usameM rogIkI zraddhA kaise ho ? isI kAraNa maine yaha vicAra kara liyA thA ki aba paramAtmAkA smaraNa karake hI zeSa Ayu bitAU~gI, vyartha hI kheda kyoM karU~ ? jo kamAyA hai use Anandase bhoganA hI ucita hai| sunakara DAkTara sAhaba bahuta prasanna hue| bole-"acchA hama apanA daurA keMsala karate haiN| sAta baje DA~kagAr3Ise jhA~sI jAte haiN| tuma pesiMjara gAr3Ise aspatAlameM kala nau baje Ao, vahIM tumhArA ilAja hogaa| bAIjIne kahA-'maiM aspatAlameM na rahU~gI, zaharakI paravAra dharmazAlAmeM rahU~gI aura nau baje zrIbhagavAnkA darzanapUjana kara aauuNgii| yadi ApakI mere Upara dayA hai to mere praznakA uttara diijiye|' DAkTara mahodaya na jAne bAIjIse kitane prasanna the| bole-'tuma jahA~ ThaharogI, maiM vahIM A jAU~gA, parantu Aja hI jhA~sI jAo, maiM jAtA huuN| DAkTara sAhaba cale gye| hama, bAIjI aura viniyA rAtrike 11 bajekI gAr3Ise jhA~sI pahu~ca gye| prAtaHkAla zaucAdise nivRtta hokara dharmazAlAmeM A gye| itanemeM hI DAkTara sAhaba maya sAmAnake A phuNce| Ate hI sAtha unhoMne bAIjIko baiThAyA aura A~khoMmeM eka aujAra lagAyA jisase vaha khulI rahe / jaba DAkTara sAhabane A~kha khulI rakhanekA yantra lagAyA taba bAIjIne kucha sira hilA diyaa| DAkTara sAhabane eka halkI-sI thappar3a bAIjIke sirameM de dii| na jAne bAIjI kisa vicArameM nimagna ho giiN| itane hI DAkTara sAhabane astrase motiyAbinda nikAla kara bAhara kara diyA aura pA~coM aMguliyA~ uThAkara bAIjIke netrake sAmane kI tathA pUchA ki batAo kitanI a~guliyA~ haiM ? bAIjIne khaa-'paaNc|' isa taraha do yA tIna bAra pUchakara A~khameM davAI Adi lgaaii| pazcAt sIdhA par3e rahanekI AjJA dii| isake bAda DAkTara sAhaba 16 dina aura aaye| pratidina do bAra Ate the| arthAt 32 bAra DAkTara sAhabakA zubhAgamana huaa| sAthameM eka kampoTara tathA DAkTara sAhabakA eka bAlaka bhI AtA thaa| bAlakakI umara 10 varSake lagabhaga hogii| bahuta hI sundara thA vh| jahA~ bAIjI leTI thIM, usIke sAmane bAIjI tathA hama logoMke liye bhojana banatA thaa| pahale hI dina bAlakakI dRSTi sAmane bhojanake Upara gii| usa dina bhojanameM pApar3a taiyAra kiye gaye the| bAlakane lalitAbAIse kahA-'yaha kyA hai ?' lalitAne bAlakako pApar3a de diyaa| vaha lekara khAne lgaa| lalitAne eka pUr3I bhI de dii| usane bar3I prasannatAse una donoM vastuoMko khaayaa| use For Personal & Private Use Only

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106 merI jIvanagAthA na jAne unameM kyoM Ananda AyA ? vaha pratidina DAkTara sAhabake sAtha AtA aura pUr3I tathA pApar3a khAtA / bAIjIke sAtha usakI atyanta prIti ho gaI / Ate hI sAtha kahane lage -- pUr3I - pApar3a mNgaao|' astu, solahaveM dina DAkTara sAhabane bAIjIse kahA ki ApakI A~kha acchI ho gayI / kala hama cazmA aura eka zIzImeM davA deNge| aba Apa jahA~ jAnA cAheM sAnanda jA sakatI haiN| yaha kaha kara DAkTara sAhaba cale gye| jo loga bAIjIko dekhaneke lie Ate the ve bole 'bAIjI ! DAkTara sAhabakI eka bArakI phIsa 16) hai, ataH 32 bAra ke 512) hoMge, jo Apako denA hoMge, anyathA ve adAlata dvArA vasUla kara leveNge|' bAIjI bolIM- 'yaha to taba hogA jaba hama na deveNge|' unhoMne gaMvadU paMsArIse, jo ki bAIjIke bhAI lagate the, kahA ki 512) dUkAnase bheja do| unhoMne 512) bheja diye| phira bajArase 40 ) kA mevA phala Adi ma~gAyA aura DAkTara sAhabake Aneke pahale hI sabako thAliyoMmeM sajAkara rakha diyaa| dUsare dina prAtaHkAla DAkTara sAhabane Akara A~khameM davA DAlI aura cazmA dete hue kahA- 'aba tuma Aja hI calI jA sakatI ho|' jaba bAIjIne nakada rupayoM aura mevA Adise sajI huI thAliyoMkI ora saMketa kiyA taba unhoMne vismayake sAtha pUchA - 'yaha saba kisalie ? bAIjIne namratAke sAtha kahA- 'maiM Apake sadRza mahApuruSakA kyA Adara kara sakatI hU~ ? para yaha tuccha bheMTa Apako samarpita karatI hU~ / Apa ise svIkAra kreNge| Apane mujhe A~kha dI, jisase mere sampUrNa kArya nirvighna samApta ho skeNge| netroMke binA na to maiM paThana-pAThana hI kara sakatI thI aura na iSTa devakA darzana hI ! yaha ApakI anukampAkA hI pariNAma hai ki maiM niroga ho skii| yadi Apa jaise mahopakArI mahAzayakA nimitta na milatA to maiM Ajanma netra vihIna rahatI, kyoMki maiMne niyama kara liyA thA ki aba kahIM nahIM bhaTakanA aura kSetrapAlameM hI rahakara zrI abhinandana svAmIke smaraNa dvArA zeSa Ayuko pUrNa karanA / parantu Apake nimittase maiM punaH dharmadhyAnake yogya bana skii| isake lie Apako jitanA dhanyavAda diyA jAve utanA hI alpa hai| Apa jaise dayAlu jIva birale hI hote haiN| maiM Apako yahI AzIrvAda detI hU~ ki Apake pariNAma isI prakAra nirmala aura dayAlu raheM jisase saMsArakA upakAra ho / hamAre zAstrameM vaidyake lakSaNameM eka lakSaNa yaha bhI kahA hai ki 'pIyUSapANi' arthAt jisake hAthakA I For Personal & Private Use Only

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DAkTara yA sahRdayatA kA avatAra 107 sparza amRtakA kArya kre| vaha lakSaNa Aja maiMne pratyakSa dekha liyA, kyoMki Apake hAthake sparzase hI merA netra dekhanemeM samartha ho gyaa| maiM Apako kyA de sakatI hU~ ?' itanA kahakara bAIjIkI A~khoMmeM harSake azru chalaka par3e aura kaNTha avaruddha ho gyaa| DAkTara sAhaba bAIjIkI kathA zravaNa kara bole 'bAIjI ! Apake pAsa jo kucha hai, maiM suna cukA huuN| yadi ye 500) maiM le jAU~ to tumhAre mUladhanameM 500) kama ho jAyeMge aura 5) mAsika ApakI AyameM nyUna ho jaaveNge| isake phalasvarUpa Apake mAsika vyayameM truTi hone lgegii| hamArA to DAkTarIkA pezA hai, eka dhanADhyase hama eka dinameM 500) le lete haiM, ataH tuma vyarthakI cintA mata kro| kisIke kahanese tumheM bhayaho gayA hai, para bhayakI bAta nhiiN| hama tumhAre dhArmika niyamoMse bahuta khuza haiN| aura yaha jo mevA phalAdi rakhe haiM, inameMse tumhAre AzIrvAda rUpa kucha phala liye letA hU~, zeSa ApakI jo icchA ho so karanA tathA 11) kampoTarako diye dete haiN| aba Apa kisIko kucha nahIM denaa| acchA, aba hama jAte haiN| hA~, yaha baccA Apa logoMse bahuta hila gayA hai| tuma logoMko khAnekI prakriyA bahuta hI nirmala hai| alpa vyayameM hI uttamottama bhojana Apako mila jAtA hai| hamArA baccA to Apake pUr3I-pApar3ase itanA khuza hai ki pratidina khAnasAmAko DA~TatA rahatA hai ki tU bAIjIke yahA~ jaisA svAdiSTa bhojana nahIM bnaataa| hamAre bhojanameM UparakI saphAI hai parantu abhyantara koI svacchatA nhiiN| sabase bar3A to yaha aparAdha hai ki hamAre bhojanameM kaI jIva mAre jAte haiM tathA jaba mA~sa pakAyA jAtA hai taba usakI gandha AtI hai| parantu hama loga vahA~ jAte nahIM, ataH patA nahIM lgtaa| tumhAre yahA~ jo dUdha khAnekI paddhati hai vaha ati uttama hai| hama loga madirApAna karate haiM jo ki hamArI nirI mUrkhatA hai| tumhAre yahA~ do AnAke dUdhameM jo svAdiSTatA aura puSTatA prApta ho jAtI hai vaha hameM 20) kA madirA pAna karane para bhI nahIM prApta ho paatii| parantu kyA kiyA jAve ? hama logoMkA deza zIta-pradhAna hai, ataH varaMDI pInekI Adata hama logoMko ho gii| jo saMskAra Ajanmase par3e hue haiM unakA dUra honA durlabha hai| astu, ApakI caryA dekha maiM bahuta prasanna hU~| Apa eka dinameM tIna bAra paramAtmAkI ArAdhanA karatI haiN| itanA hI nahIM bhojanakI prakriyA bhI ApakI nirmala hai, parantu eka truTi hameM dekhanemeM AI vaha yaha ki jisa kapar3ese ApakA pAnI chAnA jAtA hai vaha svaccha nahIM rahatA tathA bhojana banAnevAlIke vastra prAyaH svaccha nahIM rahate aura na bhojanakA sthAna rasoI banAneke sthAnase judA rahatA hai| bAIjIne kahA-'maiM Apake dvArA dikhalAI huI For Personal & Private Use Only

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108 merI jIvanagAthA truTiko dUra karanekA prayatna karU~gI / Apake vyavahArase bahuta hI prasanna hU~ / Apa mere pitA haiM, ataH eka bAta merI bhI svIkAra kreNge|' DAkTara sAhabane kahA-'kaho, hama use avazya pAlana kreNge|' bAIjI bolI- 'maiM aura kucha nahIM cAhatI / kevala yaha bhikSA mA~gatI hU~ ki ravivAra Apake yahA~ paramAtmAkI upAsanAkA dina mAnA gayA hai, ataH usa dina Apa na to kisI jIvako mAreM, na khAneke vAste khAnasAmAse maravAyeM aura na khAnevAlekI anumodanA kareM ... / AzA hai merI prArthanA Apa svIkRta kreNge|' DAkTara sAhabane bar3I prasannatAse kahA- hameM tumhArI bAta mAnya hai / na hama khAveMge, na mema sAhabako khAne deveMge aura yaha bAlaka to pahalese hI tumhArA ho rahA hai| ise bhI hama isa niyamakA pAlana kraaveNge| Apa nizcinta rhiye| maiM Apako apanI mAtAke samAna mAnatA huuN| acchA, aba phira kabhI Apake darzana karU~gA / ' 1 itanA kahakara DAkTara sAhaba cale gye| hama loga AdhA ghaMTA taka DAkTara sAhabake guNa-gAna karate rahe / tathA antameM puNyake guNa gAne lage ki anAyAsa hI bAIjIke netra khulanekA avasara A gyaa| kisI kavine ThIka hI to kahA hai 'vane raNe zatrujalAgnimadhye mahArNave parvatamastake vA / suptaM pramattaM viSamasthitaM vA rakSanti puNyAni purAkRtAni / ' kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki puNyake sadbhAvameM, jinakI sambhAvanA nahIM, ve kArya bhI anAyAsa ho jAte haiM, ataH jina jIvoMko sukhakI kAmanA hai unheM puNya-kAryoMmeM sadA upayoga lagAnA caahie| bundelakhaNDake do mahAn vidvAn bAIjIke svastha honeke anantara hama saba loga baruAsAgara cale gaye aura Anandase apanA samaya vyatIta karane lge| itanemeM hI kyA huA ki kAmatAprasAda, jo ki bAIjIkA bhAI thA, magarapura calA gayA / vahA~se usakA patra AyA ki hama bImAra haiM, Apa loga jaldI Ao / hama vahA~ pahu~ce aura usakI vaiyAvRtya karane lge| usakA hamase gAr3ha prema thaa| eka dina bolA ki hama 500) Apake phala khAneke lie dete haiN| maiMne kahA - 'hama to ApakI samAdhi-mRtyuke lie Aye haiN| yadi isa taraha rupaye lene lageM to lokameM apavAda hogaa| Apa dAna kareM, hamase moha chor3eM, moha hI saMsArameM duHkhakA kAraNa hai|' For Personal & Private Use Only

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bundelakhaNDake do mahAn vidvAn 109 vaha bolA-'jisa kAryameM deveMge vahA~ mohase hI to deveMge aura jahA~ deveMge usakA uttara kAlameM kyA upayoga hogA? isakA nizcaya nhiiN| yadi Apako deveMge to yaha nizcita hai ki vidyAdhyayanameM hI merI sampatti jaavegii| Apa hI kaheM, maiM kaunasA anyAya kara rahA hU~ ? Apako ucita hai ki 500) lenA svIkAra kreN| yadi Apa na leMge to mujhe zalya rahegI, ataH yadi Apa mere hita haiM to isa deya dravyako svIkAra kriye| maiM corIse nahIM detaa| Apako pAtra jAnakara sabake sAmane detA hU~| jaba merI bahinane Apako putravat pAla rakkhA hai taba Apa mere bhAnaje hue| isa riztese bhI Apako lenA pdd'egaa| AzA hai ki Apa merI prArthanA viphala na kreNge| maiM kAmatAprasAdake vacana zravaNa kara cupa ho gyaa| unhoMne sarrApha mUlacandrajIko patra likha diyA ki Apake yahA~ jo mere 510) rupaye jamA haiM ve Apa gaNezaprasAdako de denaa| isake anantara hama unheM samAdhimaraNa sunAte rhe| pazcAt kAryavaza maiM to baruAsAgara calA AyA, para bAIjI vahIM rhiiN| tIna dina bAda kAmatAprasAdajIne sarva parigraha tyAga diyA, sirpha eka vastra na tyAga ske| antameM namaskAramantrakA jApa karate-karate unakI Ayu pUrNa ho gii| bAIjI unakI dAhAdi kriyA karAkara baruAsAgara A giiN| kucha dina hama loga kAmatAprasAdajIke zokameM magna rahe, para antameM phira pUrvavat apane kAryameM laga gye| bAIjIne kahA-'beTA ! tumhArA par3hanA chUTa gayA, isakA raMja hai, ataH phira banArasa calo aura adhyayana prArambha kara do| bAIjIkI AjJA svIkAra kara maiM banArasa calA gayA aura zrImAna zAstrIjIse nyAyazAstrakA adhyayanakara tIna khaNDa nyAyAcAryake pAsa ho gyaa| parantu suparinTenDenTase manomAlinya honeke kAraNa maiM banArasa chor3akara phirase TIkamagar3ha A gayA aura zrImAn dulAra jhA jI se par3hane lgaa| __ isI samaya unake suputra zrIzAntilAla jhA, jo ki nyAyazAstrake prakhara vidvAn the, apane pitAke darzanArtha aaye| unase hamArA sneha ho gyaa| eka dina ve hamase bole-ki 'yaha to vRddha haiN| aba inakI zakti adhyayana karAnemeM asamartha hai| Apa hamase nyAya pddh'o|' yaha kathA zrIzAstrIjIne suna lii| avasara pAkara mujhase bole-'zAnti kyA kahai thaa|' maiMne kahA-'kucha nahIM kahate the|' para zAstrIjI to apane kAnase saba suna cuke the, bole-'use abhimAna hai ki hama For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 110 nyAyazAstrake vidvAn haiN|' sAmane bulAkara bole-'acchA zAnti ! yaha to batAo ki nyAya kise kahate haiN| Adha ghaNTA pitA-putrakA zAstrArtha huA para pitAke samakSa zAntilAla nyAyakA lakSaNa batAnemeM asamartha rhe| pAThakagaNa ! yahA~ yaha nahIM samajhanA ki zAntilAla vidvAn na the, parantu vRddha pitAke samakSa avAk raha gye| isakA yaha tAtparya hai ki dulArajhA ne 40 varSakI avasthA taka navadvIpameM adhyayana kiyA thaa| vRddha bAbA bar3e nirbhIka the| unakA kahanA thA ki maiM nyAyazAstrameM bRhaspatise bhI nahIM ddrtaa| astu, ____ maiM zAntilAlajIko lekara baruAsAgara calA aayaa| zrIsarrApha mUlacandrajI unheM 30) mAsika dene lge| maiM unase par3hane lgaa| maiM jaba yahA~ke mandirameM jAtA thA jaba zrIdevakInandanajI bhI darzanake liye pahu~cate the| inake pitA bahuta buddhimAn aura jAtike paJca the| bahuta hI suyogya vyakti the| unakA kahanA thA ki yaha bAlaka buddhimAn to hai| parantu dinabhara upadrava karatA hai, ataH ise Apa banArasa le jaaiye| maiMne devakInandanase kahA-'kyo bhAI ! banArasa caloge ?' bAlakane kahA-'hA~, cleNge|' maiM jaba use banArasa le jAneke lie rAjI ho gayA taba sarrAphajIne yaha kahate hue bahuta niSedha kiyA ki kyoM upadravakI jar3a lie jAte ho ? paranta maiMne unakI eka na sunii| unhoMne bAIjIse bhI kahA ki ye vyartha hI upadravakI jar3a sAtha liye jAte haiN| para bAIjIne bhI kaha diyA ki 'bhaiyA ! tuma jise upadravI kahate ho usake lie paNDitajI aura mahArAja kahate-kahate tumhArA galA na sUkhe to hamArA nAma na lenaa|' __ antameM maiM use banArasa le gayA aura vidyAlayameM praviSTa karA diyaa| bAlaka honahAra thA, ata: bahuta hI zIghra kAlameM vyutpanna ho gyaa| isakI buddhikI prakharatA dekha zrImAn svargIya paNDita gopAladAsajI AgarAvAloMne ise morenAmeM dharmazAstrakA adhyayana kraayaa| kucha dina bAda hI yaha dharmazAstrameM viziSTa vidvAn ho gyaa| aura usI vidyAlayameM adhyApana kArya karane lgaa| zrImAna svargIya paNDitajI jahA~para vyAkhyAna deneke lie jAte the vahA~ unheM bhI sAtha le jAte the| inakI vyAkhyAna kalA dekha paNDitajI svayaM na jAkara kahIM-kahIM inhIMko bheja dete the| yaha vyAkhyAna denemeM itane nipuNa nikale ki samAjane inheM vyAkhyAnavAcaspatikI upAdhise vibhUSita kiyaa| kAraMjA gurukulakI unnatimeM ApakA hI pramukha hAtha hai aura yaha bhI Apake hI For Personal & Private Use Only

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cakautI meM 111 puruSArthakA phala hai ki khuraImeM zrI pArzvanAtha gurukulakI sthApanA ho gii| yadyapi hamAre bundelakhaNDa prAntameM dhanADhyoMkI kamI nahIM hai para yaha saca hai ki yahA~ dhanADhya vidvAnoMko apanAnA nahIM jAnate, anyathA kyA Apa khuraImeM nivAsa kara isa prAntakA upakAra nahIM karate? vaise to Apane isa prAntakA bahuta kucha upakAra kiyA hI hai-devagar3ha rathakA nirvighna honA Apake hI puruSArthakA phala hai, paravArasabhAkA utthAna Apake hI upadezoMke dvArA huA hai aura abhI jabalapurameM jisa gurukulakA kAryakrama cala rahA hai usake adhiSThAtA bhI Apa hI haiN| Apa apane bAlakoMke paThanAdikI vyavasthAke lie indaura rahate haiM aura sara seTha sAhabake darabArakI zobhA bar3hA rahe haiN| isI prakAra samAjake pramukha vidvAn aura dharmazAstrake advitIya marmajJa paM. vaMzIdharajI nyAyAlaMkAra bhI, jo ki maharaunI ke rahanevAle haiM, sara seTha sAhabake darabArakI zobhA bar3hA rahe haiN| hamAre prAntameM yadi koI udAra prakRtikA dhanADhya hotA to ukta donoM vidvAnoMko apane prAntase bAhara nahIM jAne detA aura ye isI prAntakA gaurava bddh'aate| cU~ki isa prAntake hI annajalase ina logoMkA bAlyakAla pallavita huA hai, ataH isa prAntake bhAiyoMkA bhI. Apake Upara adhikAra hai aura usakA upakAra karanA inakA kartavya hai| _inake yahA~ rahanemeM do hI kAraNa ho sakate haiM yA to koI sara seTha sAhabakI taraha udAra prakRtikA ho yA ye nirapekSa vRtti dhAraNa kara svayaM udAra bana jaaveN| merI to dhAraNA hai ki 'jananI janmabhUmizca svargAdapi garIyasI isa siddhAntAnusAra sambhava hai ki ina donoM mahAnubhAvoMke cittameM hamAre prAntake prati karuNA bhAva utpanna ho jAve aura usa dazAmeM hama to svayaM ina donoMko isa prAntake zrImanta samajhane lgeNge| vizeSa kyA likhU ? yaha prAsaMgika bAta A gii| cakautImeM saMvat 1684 kI bAta hai-banArasase maiM zrIzAntilAla naiyAyikake sAtha cakautI jilA darabhaMgA calA gayA aura vahIM para par3hane lgaa| jisa cakautImeM maiM rahatA thA vaha brAhmaNoMkI bastI thI, anya loga kama the, jo the ve inhIMke sevaka the| isa grAmameM bar3e-bar3e naiyAyika vidvAn ho gaye haiN| usa samaya bhI vahA~ cAra naiyAyika, do jyotiSI, do vaiyAkaraNa aura chabbIsa dharmazAstrake prasiddha vidvAn the| ina naiyAyikoMmeM sahadeva jhA bhI eka the| vaha bar3e buddhimAn the| inake For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 112 yahA~ kaI chAtra bAharase Akara nyAyazAstrakA adhyayana karate the| merA bhI citta inhIMke pAsa adhyayana karanekA ho gyaa| yadyapi yaha bAta zrI zAntilAlajIko bahuta aniSTakAraka huI, to bhI maiM unake pAsa adhyayana karane lgaa| yahA~ para eka giridhara zarmA bhI rahate the, jo bar3e calate purajA the| merA unake sAtha ghaniSTha sambandha ho gyaa| maiM sAmAnyaniruktikI vivecanA par3hatA thaa| yahA~kA samasta vAtAvaraNa nyAyazAstramaya thaa| jahA~ dekho vahA~ 'avacchedakAvacchedena' kI dhvani sunAI detI thI, parantu yahA~kI eka bAta mujhe bahuta hI aniSTakara thii| vaha yaha ki yahA~ke saba manuSya matsya-mAMsabhojI the| jahA~para maiM rahatA thA usa sthAnase 15 kadamakI dUrI para eka pIpalakA vRkSa thaa| usake nIce eka devIkI mUrti thii| vahA~ para prAyaH jaba kisIkA yajJopavIta huA, . vivAhazAdI huI, zrAddha Adi hue, dazaharA AyA, yA navadurgA AI, taba bakaroMkI bali hotI thii| yaha mujhase na dekhA gayA tathA pratidina loga matsyamAMsa pakAte the| usakI durgandhake mAre mujhase bhojana nahIM khAyA jAtA thaa| maiMne ATA khAnA chor3a diyA, kevala cAvala aura zAka khAkara dina kATatA thaa| kabhI-kabhI bhune cane khAkara hI dina nikAla detA thaa| eka dina mohalleke eka vRddha brAhmaNane kahA-'beTA ! itane durbala kyoM hote jAte ho? kyA khAne ke liye nahIM milatA ? yA tuma banAnemeM apaTu ho ? hamase kaho hama tumhArI saba takalIpha dUra kara deveNge| maiMne kahA-'bAbAjI ! Apake prasAdase mere pAsa khAnapAnakI saba sAmagrI hai, parantu jaba maiM khAneko baiThatA hU~ taba machalIkI gandha AtI hai, ataH grAsa bhItara nahIM jaataa| eka dinakI bAta hai ki maiM bhojana banAkara khAnekI taiyArImeM thA ki itanemeM eka brAhmaNakA lar3akA AyA, eka poTalI bhI liye thA vaha / maiMne usase pUchA-kyA vanase par3orA lAye ho ? vaha bolA-hA~, lAyA hU~, kyA Apa loge ? uttama tarakArI bnegii| maiM bholA-bhAlA, kyA jAnU~ ki vaha kyA liye hai ? maiMne khaa-diijiye| usane poTalI kholI usameM kekar3A aura machaliyA~ thiiN| maiM to dekhakara andhA ho gayA aura usa dina jo bhojana banAyA thA vaha nahIM khAyA gayA-dina rAta upavAsa karanA pdd'aa| usake bAda dUsare dina jaba bhojana banAnekI ceSTA karane lagA taba vahI poTalIkA dRzya A~khoMke sAmane upasthita hone lgaa| isa taraha kaI dina sUkhe cane aura cAvala khA-khAkara dina kaatte| jaba udarAgni prajvalita hotI hai aura bhUkhakI vedanA nahIM sahI jAtI taba A~kha For Personal & Private Use Only

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draupadI 113 banda kara khA letA hU~ / ' merI kathAko zravaNakara buDDhe brAhmaNa mahArAjako dayA A gii| unhoMne mohalleke saba brAhmaNoMko jamAkara yaha pratijJA karAyI ki 'jaba taka yaha apane grAmameM chAtra rUpase rahe taba taka Apa loga matsyamAMsa na banAveM aura na devI para bali pradAna kreN| yaha bhadra prakRtikA bAlaka hai| isake Upara hameM dayA karanA caahiye|' isa taraha merA nirvAha hone lgaa| ATA AdikI bhI vyavasthA ho gaI aura Anandase adhyayana calane lagA / draupadI isa cakautImeM eka aisI vilakSaNa ghaTanA huI ki jise sunakara pAThakagaNa AzcaryAnvita ho jaaveNge| isa ghaTanAmeM Apa dekheMge ki eka hI paryAyameM jIva pApAtmAse puNyAtmA kisa prakAra hotA hai / ghaTanA isa prakAra hai yahA~ para eka brAhmaNa thA, jo bahuta hI pratiSThita dhanADhya, vidvAn aura rAjyamAna thaa| usakI eka putrI thI - draupadI / jo atyanta rUpavatI thI / keza usake itane sundara aura lambe the ki er3I taka Ate the aura mukhakI kAnti itanI sundara thI ki use dekhakara acche-acche rUpavAn puruSa aura rUpavatI striyA~ lajjita ho jAtI thIM / durbhAgyavaza vaha bAlyAvasthAse hI vidhavA ho gii| usa kanyAke sAtha usake mAtA pitAkA atyanta gAr3ha prema thA, ataH unhoMne use usake zvasuragRha nahIM bhejA / antameM usakA caritra bhraSTa ho gyaa| kaI to usane garbhapAta kiye, parantu pitAke snehameM vaha anyatra nahIM bhejI gaI / rupayAke balase usake saba pApa chipA diye jAte the, parantu pApa bhI koI padArtha hai jo chipAyese nahIM chipatA / usake nAmakA eka sarovara thA, usakA pAnI apeya ho gayA / usIke nAmakA eka bAga bhI thA, usameM jo phala lagate the unameM pakane para kIr3e par3ane lge| isase usake pApakI carcA prAnta bharameM phaila gaI / pApake udayameM jo na ho, so alpa hai| kucha kAlake bAda draupadIke cittameM apane kukRtyoMpara bar3I ghRNA huI, usane mandirameM jAkara bahuta hI pazcAttApa kiyA aura ghara Akara apane pitAse kahA- 'pitAjI ! maiMne yadyapi bahuta hI bhayaMkara pApa kiye haiM, parantu Aja maiMne antaraMgase itanI nindA garhA kI hai ki aba maiM niSpApa huuN| aba maiM zrI jagannAthajIkI yAtrAko jAtI huuN| vahA~ se zrIvaidyanAtha jaauuNgii| vahIM para For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 114 vaidyanAthajIko jala car3hAU~gI aura jisa samaya 'oM zivAya namaH' kahatI huI jala car3hAU~gI usI samaya mahAdevajIke kailAzalokako calI jaauuNgii|' draupadIkI yaha bAta sunakara usake pitA bahuta hI prasanna hue aura gadgad svarameM bole-'beTI maiM tumhArI kathA sunakara atyanta pramodako prApta huA huuN| maiM Astika hU~, ataH yaha mAnatA hU~ ki aisA honA asambhava nhiiN| aise aneka upAkhyAna zAstroMmeM Ate haiM jinameM bhayaMkara pApa karanevAloMkA bhI usI janmameM uddhAra honA likhA hai| acchA, yaha batAo ki yAtrA kaba karogI?' putrIne kahA-vaizAkha sudi pUrNimAke dina yAtrAke liye jaauuNgii| aba kyA thA, sampUrNa nagarake loga usa dinakI pratIkSA karane lge| bahutase strI puruSa bhaktise prerita ho yAtrAkI taiyArI karane lage aura kitane hI kautuka dekhanekI utsukatAse yAtrAke liye ceSTA karane lge| sabhIke manameM isa bAtakA kautuka thA ki jisane Ajanma pApa kiye haiM vaha bhalA zivalokako sidhAre ? bahuta kahanese kyA lAbha ? antameM vaizAkhakI pUrNimA A gii| prAtaHkAla 6 baje yAtrAkA muhUrta thaa| gAjebAjeke sAtha draupadI gharase bAhara niklii| grAma bharake nara-nArI use pahu~cAneke liye grAmake bAhara AdhA mIla taka cale gye| draupadIne samasta nAra-nAriyoMse sambodhana kara prArthanA kI aura kahA ki 'maiMne gurutara pApa kiye-kAmake vazIbhUta hokara yahA~para jo anugraha jhA khar3A hai isake sAtha gupta pApa kiye, sahasroM rupaye ise khilAye, 5 bAra bhrUNahatyAyeM bhI kii| apane dvArA kiye hue pApoMkI yAda Ate hI merI AtmA sihara uThatI hai| parantu Ajase 20 dina pahale mujhe apanI AtmAmeM bahuta glAni huI aura yaha vicAra manameM AyA ki jo AtmA pApa karanemeM samartha hai vaha use tyAga bhI kara sakatA hai| yaha koI niyama nahIM ki jo Aja pApI hai vaha sarvadA pApI hI banA rhe| yadi aisA hotA hai to kabhI kisIkA uddhAra bhI nahIM ho paataa| AtmA nimitta pAkara pApI ho jAtA hai aura nimitta pAkara puNyAtmA bhI bana sakatA hai| hamArA AtmA ina viSayoMke vazIbhUta hokara nirantara anartha karanemeM hI tatpara rahA, anyathA yaha isa prakAra durgatikA pAtra nahIM hotaa| maiM eka kulIna kulameM utpanna huI, merA bAlyakAla bar3I hI pavitratAse bItA, maiMne viSNusahasranAma Adi stotra par3he aura usakA pATha bhI kiyA, mere pitAne mujhe gItAkA bhI adhyayana karAyA thA, maiM usakA bhI pATha karatI thI, gItApAThase merI yaha zraddhA ho gaI thI ki AtmA ajara amara hai, nirdoSa hai, anAdi-ananta hai| parantu yaha saba hote hue For Personal & Private Use Only

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draupadI 115 bhI maiM isa manuSyake dvArA pApa paMkameM lipta ho gii| isa ghaTanAse mujhe yaha nizcaya huA ki AtmA sarvathA nirdoSa nhiiN| yadi sarvathA nirdoSa hotA to maiM isa taraha pApa paMkameM anulipta kyoM hotI ? yadyapi AtmA na maratA hai, na jItA hai, yaha gItAmeM likhA hai, para vaha granthakArakI eka vivakSA hai| AtmA janamatA bhI hai aura maratA bhI hai, yadi aisA na hotA to koI pazu hai, koI manuSya hai aura koI devatA hai, yaha saba kyoM hotA ? tathA purANoMmeM jo likhA hai ki saccA kAma karoge, zivaloka jAoge, bure kAma karoge, pAtAlaloka jAoge, yaha saba gappASTaka hotA, para yaha gappASTaka nahIM hai| AtmA yadi-doSabhAka na hotA to RSiyoMne prAyazcittazAstra vyartha hI bnaayaa| ina saba bAtoMko dekhate hue mere AtmAmeM yaha nizcaya ho gayA ki AtmA pApI bhI hotA hai aura usakA udAharaNa maiM hI huuN| aba merI Apa nara-nAriyoMse yaha prArthanA hai ki kabhI bhI pApa na krnaa| pApase merA yaha abhiprAya hai ki strIlogoMko yaha niyama karanA cAhiye ki apane pati ko chor3a anya puruSoMko pitA, putra aura bhAIke sadRza samajheM aura puruSavargako cAhiye ki vaha svastrIko chor3akara anya striyoMko mAtA, bhaginI aura putrIke sadRza samajhe / anyathA jo merI durgati aura nindA huI vahI ApakI hogii| dekho, zrIrAmacandrajI mahArAjane bAlIko mArA taba bAlI kahatA __ maiM bairI sugrIva pyaaraa| kAraNa kavana nAtha mohi maaraa|| uttarameM zrIrAmacandrajI mahArAja kahate haiM- . __ anuja-vadhU bhaginI sut-naarii| sunu zaTha ye kanyA sama caarii|| inahi kudRSTa karai jo koii| tAhi badhe kachu doSa na hoI / / yaha kathA rAmAyaNameM prasiddha hai| isaliye Ajase saba nara-nArI isa vratako lekara ghara jaaveN| ise na lenese ApakA kalyANa nhiiN| isake sivAya eka bAta aura kahanA cAhatI hU~, vaha yaha ki bhagavAn dInadayAlu haiM, unakI dayA prANImAtrake Upara honI caahiye| pazu bhI eka prANI hai| unhoMne aisA kaunasA aparAdha kiyA ki una niraparAdhoMkA durgAdevIke sAmane bali car3hAyA jAtA hai| jisakA nAma jagadambA hai use usIkA putra mArakara diyA jAve, yaha ghora pApa hai, jo ki hama logoMmeM A gayA hai aura isIse hamArI jAtimeM pratidina zAntikA abhAva hotA jAtA hai| dekho, inakI vicAradhArA kahA~ taka dUSita ho gii| ekane to yahA~ taka anartha kiyA ki jise kahatI huI maiM kampAyamAna ho jAtI hU~ For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 116 116 'kecidvadantyamRtamasti surAlayeSu kecidvadanti banitAdharapallaveSu / brUmo vayaM sakalazAstravicAradakSA jmbiirniirpripuuritmaaNskhnndde||' isa prakAra mAMsabhakSakoMne saMsArameM nAnA anartha phailAye haiM, jinake mAMsakA bhojana hai unake dayAkA leza nhiiN| dekho, jo pazu mAMsa khAte haiM ve mahAn nirdayI hote haiN| unase prANIgaNa sadA bhayabhIta rahate haiN| para jo mAMsa nahIM khAte unase kisIko bhaya nahIM lgtaa| siMhake sAmane acche-se-acche baliSTha pezAba kara dete haiN| isakA kAraNa yahI to hai ki vaha hamArA mAMsa-bhakSaNa / karanevAlA hiMsaka prANI hai| hAthI, ghor3A, gAya, U~Ta Adi vanaspati khAne vAle jIva haiM, ataH inheM dekhakara kisIko bhaya nahIM hotaa| ataH jisa mAMsake khAnese krUra pariNAma ho use tyAga denA hI ucita hai| dekho, Apake sAmane jo gaNezaprasAda khar3e haiM, yaha jainI haiM, inakA bhojana anna hai, apanA grAma itanA bar3A hai, yahA~ para 1000 brAhmaNoMkA nivAsa hai, brAhmaNoM kA hI nahIM, paNDitoMkA nivAsa hai, jo dekho vahIM inakI prazaMsA karatA hai, saba loga yahI kahate haiM ki yaha bar3A saumya chAtra hai, usakA mUla kAraNa isakI dayAlutA hai| mujhe jAnA hai anyathA isa viSaya para bar3I mImAMsAkI AvazyakatA thii| draupadIkA vyAkhyAna pUrNa nahIM huA thA ki bIcameM hI bahutase nara-nArI ha~sa par3e aura yaha zabda sunanemeM Ane lagA ki 'nausau mUse vinAza kara billI hajjako clii|' yaha vAkya sunate hI draupadIne kahA ki ThIka hai, parantu aba maiM pApinI nahIM / yadi tuma logoMko vizvAsa na ho to hamAre bAgameM jo phala pakke hoM unheM cunakara lAo, saba hI amRtopama svAdiSTa hoMge tathA merI puSkariNIkA jala gaMgAjalake sadRza hogaa| kaI manuSya ekadama bAga aura puSkariNIkI ora daur3a pdd'e| jo bAga gaye the vahA~se vilvaphala, lIcI aura Ama lAye tathA jo puSkariNI gaye the ve cAra ghar3e jala laaye| saba samudAyane phalabhakSaNa kiye| sabhIke mukhase ye zabda nikala par3e ki aise svAdiSTa phala to hamane janmase lekara Aja taka nahIM khAye / pazcAt puSkariNIkA jala piyA gayA aura sarvatra yaha dhvani hone lagI ki yaha to gaMgAjalakI apekSA bhI madhura hai| anantara janasamudAyane use mastaka navAkara praNAma kiyA aura apane aparAdhakI kSamA maaNgii| draupadIne AzIrvAda dete hue kahA ki yaha saba hamAre For Personal & Private Use Only

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nIca jAti para ucca vicAra 1 pariNAmoMkI svacchatAkA phala hai / itanemeM anugraha jhAne, jisane ki usake sAtha duzcaritrakA vyavahAra kiyA thA, sabake samakSa AtmIya aparAdhoMkI kSamA mA~gI aura bhaviSya meM isa pApake na karanekI pratijJA kI / isake bAda draupadIbAIne jagannAtha svAmIkI yAtrAke liye jogiyA sTezana jilA darabhaMgAse prasthAna kiyA / yahA~ taka to hamArA dekhA dRzya hai / isake bAda jo mahAzaya unake sAtha gaye the unhoMne yAtrAse vApisa Akara hamase jo kahA vaha pAThakoMke avalokanArtha jyoM-kA-tyoM yahA~ likhate haiM-prathama to draupadIbAI kalakattA pahu~cI aura kAlIke darzana karaneke lie kAlI mandira gaI, parantu vahA~kA raktapAta dekha darzanoMke binA hI vApisa lauTa AI / pazcAt jagannAthapurIkI yAtrAke liye gaI aura usake anantara vaidyanAthajI A gaI / jisa samaya svaccha vastra pahina kara tathA hAthameM jalapAtra lekara zrIvaidyanAthajIke Upara jaladhArA denekA prayatna karane lagI usa samaya vahA~ke paMDoMne kahA- 'Apa jala to car3hAtI haiM para dAna-dakSiNA kyA deMgI ?' usane kahA- 'dAnakI kathA chor3o, hama to jala car3hAkara zivaloka cale jaaveNge|' paMDoMko Azcarya huA ki yaha kahA~kI pagalI AI ? bahuta kahA~ taka likheM, jisa samaya usane 'oM zivAya namaH' kaha mahAdevake Upara jaladhArA dI usI samaya usake prANa pakherU ur3a gaye aura sahasroM nara-nAriyoMke guNagAnameM sArA mandira gU~ja utthaa| isa kathAnakake likhanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki adhama-se-adhama prANI bhI pariNAmoMkI nirmalatAse devagati prApta kara sakatA hai| 117 nIca jAti para ucca vicAra aba maiM Apako yaha dikhAnA cAhatA hU~ ki maNi, mantra aura auSadhimeM acintya zakti hai| isI cakautI grAmameM merI pIThameM adRSTa phor3A ho gayA, rAta-dina dAha hone lagI, eka minaTako bhI caina nahIM par3atI thI, nidrAdevI palAyamAna ho gaI, kSudhA tRSAkI vedanA calI gaI, 'he bhagavan' ke sivAya kucha nahIM uccAraNa hotA thA / rAtri-dina vedanAmeM hI samaya jAtA thaa| mohallA bhara merI vedanAse duHkhI ho gyaa| koI kahatA ki darabhaMgA aspatAlameM le calo, koI kahatA ki auSadhi to khAtA nahIM, aspatAlameM le jAkara kyA karoge ? koI kahatA ki durgA saptazatIkA pATha karAo, koI kahatA ki viSNusahasranAmakA pATha karAo aura koI kahatA ki cintA mata karo, karmakA vipAka hai, apane Apa zAnta ho jaavegaa| bahuta kucha tarka-vitarka hone para bhI antameM kucha sthira " For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 118 na ho skaa| itanemeM bihArI musahar3a vahA~se jA rahA thaa| usane merI vedanA dekhakara kahA ki yaha itanA vecaina kyoM hai ? logoMne kahA ki isakI pIThameM adRSTa phor3A ho gayA hai aura vaha bar3hate-bar3hate AMvalA barAbara ho gayA hai, isIse rAtri-dina becaina rahatA hai| usane kahA-Apa loga auSadhi nahIM jAnate ?' logoMne kahA-'hamane to bIsoM davAiyA~ kI, para kisIne ArAma nahIM phuNcaayaa| taba bihArI bolA-'acchA Apa cintA chor3a deveM, yadi paramAtmAkI anukampA huI taba yaha Aja hI acchA ho jaavegaa| acchA jAtA hU~ aura jar3I lAtA huuN|' vaha gayA aura 15 minaTameM auSadhi lekara A gyaa| usane davAIko pIsa kara kahA ki ise bA~dha do| yadi isakA udaya acchA huA to prAtaH kAla taka phor3A baiTha jAyagA yA paka kara phUTa jaaygaa| loga ha~sane lge| taba bihArI bolA ki ha~sanekI AvazyakatA nahIM, 'hAthake kaMganako ArasIkI kyA AvazyakatA ?' sAyaMkAlake 5 baje the| mujhase usane kahA ki kucha khAnA ho to khA lo, pAnI pIlo, phira isa davAIko bA~dha kara so jAo, 12 ghaNTe nIMda aavegii| maiM ha~sa par3A aura kucha miSThAnna khAkara davAIke lagAte hI dAhakI vedanA zAnta ho gaI aura ekadama nidrA A gii| ATha dinase nidrA na AI thI, isase ekadama so gayA aura 12 ghaNTeke bAda nidrA bhaMga huii| pITha para hAtha rakkhA to phor3A nadArata / maiMne usI samaya paNDitajIko bulAyA aura unase kahA ki 'dekhiye, merI pIThameM kyA phoDA hai ?' unhoMne kahA-'nahIM hai| phira maiM Anandase zaucako gyaa| vahA~se Akara snAnAdise nivRtta ho naiyAyikajIse pATha par3hane lgaa| grAmake loga AzcaryameM par3akara kahane lage ki dekho, bhAratavarSameM aba bhI aise-aise jAnakAra hai| inakA jo phor3A bar3e-bar3e vaidyoMke dvArA bhI asAdhya kaha diyA gayA thA use bihArI musahar3ane eka bArakI auSadhameM hI niroga kara diyaa| 4 baje bihArI musahar3a phira aayaa| maiMne use bahuta hI dhanyavAda diyA aura 10 kA noTa dene lagA, parantu usane nahIM liyaa| maiMne usase kahA ki yaha auSadhi hameM batA do, usane ekadama niSedha kara diyA aura eka lambA bhASaNa de ddaalaa| usane kahA ki batAnemeM koI hAni nahIM, parantu mujhe vizvAsa nahIM ki Apa ise dravyopArjanakA jariyA na banA leveMge, kyoMki Apa logoMne apanI AvazyakatAoMko itanA bar3hA liyA hai ki yadvA tadvA dhana paidA karanese Apa loga nahIM cuukte| mujhe acchI taraha smaraNa hai ki isI cakautI grAmameM pahale koI paNDita naukarI nahIM karatA thaa| dravya lekara vidyA denA pApa samajhate the, For Personal & Private Use Only

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nIca jAti para ucca vicAra 119 I jyotiSI loga garIboMkI janmapatrIkA paisA nahIM lete the, grAmameM 20 chAtra par3hate the, jinheM ghara-ghara bhojana milatA thA / kisIke Amake bagIcAmeM cale jAiye / peTa bhara Ama khAiye aura 10 Ama alahadA gharake bAlakoMko le jAiye / kisIke Ikhake kheta para panthIgaNa binA rasa piye nahIM jA sakatA thA / yadi koI bAharakA AdamI sAyaMkAla ghara para Thahara gayA to bhojana karAye binA use nahIM jAne dete the| yadi koI bhojana karanese inakAra karatA thA to use Thaharane nahIM diyA jAtA thA ........ / yaha vyavasthA isa grAmakI thI, para Aja dekho to yahIMke paNDitagaNa bAhara jAkara vidyA par3hAnekI naukarI karane lage, cAhe grAmake bAlaka nirakSara raheM / vaidyoMkI dazA dekhiye - rogIke gharameM cAhe khAneko na ho, parantu unheM phIsakA rupayA honA hI cAhiye / yahI hAla ina jyotiSI paNDitoMkA hai| jamIMdAroMko dekhiye aura manuSyoMkI kathA chor3iye / manuSyakI bAta dUra rhii| aba cir3iyA Adi pakSI bhI inakA Ama nahIM khA skte| yahA~kI aisI vyavasthAke kAraNa hI bhAratavarSa jaisA sukhI deza vipadgrasta ho rahA hai| Aja bhAratavarSakI jo dazA hai vaha kisIse chipI nahIM hai, ataH mApha kIjiye, maiM Apako davA nahIM batAU~gA aura na Apase kucha cAhatA hI huuN| hamArA kAma majadUrI karanekA hai| usameM jo kucha mila jAtA hai usIse santoSa kara letA huuN| sUkhA dAla-bhAta hamArA bhojana hai| zAma taka paramAtmA de hI detA hai / Apase dasa rupayA lekara maiM lAlAjI nahIM bananA caahtaa| Apa jIte haiM aura hama bhI jIte haiN| ye jo Apake pAsa baiThe haiM saba acche kisAna haiM, parantu inheM dayAkA leza nahIM / jaisA phor3A Apako huA thA vaisA yadi inheM yA inakI santAnako hotA to na jAne kitanI pazuhatyA ho jAtI / inakA yahI kAma raha gayA hai ki jahA~ gharameM bImArI huI ki devIko bakarA car3hAnekA saMkalpa kara liyA / maiM jAtikA musahar3a hU~ aura mere kulameM nirantara hiMsA hotI hai / parantu maiMne 5 varSase hiMsA tyAga dI hai| isakA kAraNa yaha huA ki maiM eka dina zikArake lie dhanuSa bANa lekara vanameM gayA thA / pahu~cate hI eka bANa hiranIko mArA, vaha gira pdd'ii| maiMne jAkara use jIvita hI pakar3a liyA / vaha bANase marI nahIM thI / ghara jAkara maiMne vicAra kiyA ki Aja ise mArakara saba kuTumba peTabhara isakA mAMsa khaaveNge| hama loga jaba use mArane lage taba usake peTase bilabilAtA huA baccA nikala par3A aura thor3I derake bAda chaTapaTA kara mara gyaa| unakI vedanA dekhakara maiM atyanta duHkhI ho gayA aura bhagavAn se prArthanA karane lagA ki he | For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 120 prabho ! maiM adhama-se-adhama nara huuN| maiMne jo pApa kiye haiM, he paramAtman ! aba unheM kauna kSamA kara sakatA hai ? janmAntarameM bhoganA hI par3eMge, parantu aba Apake samakSa pratijJA karatA hU~ ki Ajase kisI prANIko na staauuNgaa| jo kucha kara cukA usakA pazcAttApa karatA huuN| usa dinase na to mere gharameM mAMsa pakatA hai aura na mere bAla-bacce hI mAMsa khAte haiN| mere jo kheta haiM unameM itanA dhAna paidA hotA hai ki usase merA varSa bharakA kharca Anandase cala jAtA hai| maiM nIca jAti huuN| Apa loga merA sparza karanese Darate haiN| yadi kadAcit sparza ho bhI jAve taba sacela snAna karate haiM, parantu batAo to sahI, hamAre zarIrameM kaunasI apavitratAkA vAsa hai aura Apake zarIrameM kaunasI pavitratAkA nivAsa hai ? saca pUcho to Apa logoMke peTameM 3 sera machalI jAtI hai jo hiMsAse mArI jAtI hai, para maiM sAttvika bhojana karatA hU~ jisase kisIko kucha bhI kaSTa nahIM hotaa| ApakI apekSA merA zarIra apavitra nahIM, kyoMki ApakA zarIra mAMsase poSA jAtA hai aura merA zarIra kevala cAvala dAlase tuSTa hotA hai| yadi isameM Apako sandeha ho to kisI DaoNkTara yA vaidyase parIkSA karA liijiye| maiM jora dekara kahatA hU~ ki merA zarIra Apa logoMke zarIrakI apekSA uttama hogaa| rahI AtmAkI bAta so ApakI AtmA dayAse zUnya hai, hiMsAse bharI hai, lobhAdi pApoMkI khAna hai, viSayoMse kaluSita hai| isake viparIta hamArI AtmA dayAse puSTa hai, lobhAdi pApoMse surakSita hai aura yathAzakti paramAtmAke smaraNameM bhI upayukta hai| aba Apa loga hI nirNaya karake zuddha hRdayase kahiye ki kauna to adhama hai aura kauna ucca ? Apa logoMne jJAnakA arjana kara kevala saMsAravarddhaka viSayoMkI puSTi kI hai| yadi Apa loga saMsArake duHkhoMse bhayabhIta hote to itane anarthapUrNa kAryoMkI puSTi na Apa karate aura na zAstroMke pramANa hI dete 'paJca paJcanakhA bhakSyA auSadhArthaM surAM pivet / ' maiM par3hA likhA nahIM, parantu yaha vAkya Apake hI dvArA mujhe zravaNameM AyA hai| kahA~ taka kaheM strIdAna taka Apa logoMne zAstravihita mAna liyaa| ityAdi kahate-kahate antameM usane bar3e ucca svarase yahA~ taka kaha diyA yadyapi maiM Apa logoMkI dRSTimeM tuccha hU~ to bhI hiMsAke ukta kAryoMko acchA nahIM samajhatA / aba maiM jAtA huuN| maiMne kahA-'acchA bAbA jaaiye| usake cale jAnepara maiMne yaha vicAra kiyA ki yadi satya bhAvase vicAra kiyA jAve to usakA kahanA akSarazaH satya hai| jitane vidvAn vahA~ upasthita the saba niruttara For Personal & Private Use Only

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navadvIpa, kalakattA phira banArasa 121 ho gye| parasparameM eka dUsareke mukha tAkane lge| kaI to apane kRtyako nindya mAnane lage aura yahA~ taka kahane lage ki 'jo zAstra hiMsAdi kAryoMkI puSTi karatA hai vaha zAstra nahIM, zastra hai| nahIM-nahIM, zastra to eka hI kA ghAta karatA hai para ye zAstra to asaMkhya prANiyoMkA ghAta karate haiN| ina zAstroMkI zraddhAse Aja bhAratavarSameM jo anartha ho rahe haiM ve ativAk hai-vacana agocara haiN| hamAre kArya dekhakara hI yavana logoMko yaha kahanekA avasara AtA hai ki 'Apake yahA~ bakarA AdikI bali hotI hai, hama loga gAya AdikI kurvAnI karate haiN| dharma dayAmaya hai yaha Apa nahIM kaha sakate, kyoMki jisa zAstrameM yaha likhA hai ki-'mA hiMsyAt sarvabhUtAni' usI zAstrameM devatA aura atithike liye hiMsA karanA dharma batalAyA hai....... | aise paraspara virodhI vAkya jahA~ pAye jAveM use AgamazAstra mAnanA sarvathA anucita hai|' yaha sunakara kitane hI upasthita vidvAnoMne kahanevAleko khUba dhikkArA aura kahA ki tU zAstrake marmako nahIM jaantaa| maiMne socA ki yaha saMsAra hai, isameM apane-apane mohodayake anusAra logoMke vicAroMmeM tAratamya honA svAbhAvika hI hai, ataH kisase kyA kaheM ? astu, bAta to yahIM rahI, yahA~ jo giridhara zarmA rahate the aura jinake sAtha merA atyanta prema ho gayA thA, unhoMne eka dina kahA ki 'tuma yahA~ vyartha hI kyoM samaya yApana karate ho ? navadvIpako clo| vahA~ para nyAyazAstrakI apUrva paThanazailI hai| jo jJAna yahA~ eka varSameM hogA vaha vahA~ sahavAsameM eka mAsameM hI ho jaayegaa| maiM unake vacanoMkI kuzalatAse cakautI grAma chor3akara navadvIpa calA gyaa| navadvIpa, kalakattA phira banArasa __ jisa dina navadvIpa pahu~cA, usa dina vahA~ para chuTTI thii| loga apane-apane sthAnoM para bhojana banA rahe the| mujhe bhI koTharI de dI gaI aura giradhara zarmAne eka kahArinase kahA ki 'inakA caukA lagA de| tathA baniyeke yahA~se dAla, cAvala Adi jo kaheM so lA de|' maiM snAna kara aura NamokAramaMtrakI mAlA phera kara bhojanakI koTharImeM gyaa| kahArinane cUlA silagA diyA thA, maiMne pAnI chAnakara baTaloI cUlhe para car3hA dI, usameM dAla DAla dI, eka baTaloImeM cAvala car3hA diyaa| kahArina pUchatI hai-'mahAzaya zAka bhI banAoge?' maiMne kahA-'acchA maTarakI phalI laao| vaha bolI-'machalI bhI lAU~ ?' maiM to sunakara avAka raha gyaa| pazcAt use DA~TA ki 'yaha kyA kahatI hai ? hama loga nirAmiSabhojI haiN|' For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 122 vaha bolI 'yahA~ to jitane chAtra haiM saba mAMsabhojI haiN| yadi Apako parIkSA karanI ho to bagalakI koTharImeM dekha sakate ho| yahA~ para usake binA gujArA nhiiN|' maiMne mana hI mana vicAra kiyA ki 'he bhagavan ! kisa ApattimeM A gaye ?' dAla cAvala banAnA bhUla gayA aura yaha vicAra manameM AyA ki 'terA yahA~ gujArA nahIM ho sakatA, ataH yahA~se kalakattA clo| vahA~ para zrImAna paNDita ThAkuraprasAdajI vyAkaraNAcArya haiN| unhIMse adhyayana krnaa| unase tumhArA paricaya bhI hai| usa dina bhojana nahIM kiyA gyaa| do ghaMTA bAda gAr3ImeM baiThakara kalakattA cale gye| yahA~ para paNDita kalAdharajI padmAvatI-puravAla the| unake pAsa Thahara gaye aura phira zrI paNDita ThAkuraprasAdajIse mile| unhoMne saMskRta kAlejameM nAma likhA diyA tathA eka baMgAlI vidvAnse milA diyaa| maiM unase nyAyazAstrakA adhyayana karane lgaa| yahA~ para zrI seTha padmarAja jI rANIvAle the| mandirameM unase paricaya huaa| ve hamAre pAsa nyAyadIpikA par3hane lage aura unhoMne apane rasoIgharameM bhojanakA prabandha kara diyaa| maiM nizcinta hokara par3hane lgaa| unhIM dinoM vahA~ para bAbA arjunadAsa jI paNDita, jinakI Ayu 80 varSakI hogI, rahate the| ve gommaTasAra aura samayasArake apUrva vidvAn the| usa samaya kalakattAmeM dharmazAstrakI carcAkA atizaya pracAra thaa| paM. gulajhArIlAlajI lamecU tathA anya kaI mahAzaya acche-acche tattvavettA the| prAtaHkAla sabhAmeM 100 mahAzayase Upara Ate the| yahA~ sukhapUrvaka kAla jAne lgaa| 6 mAsake bAda cittameM udvega huA, jisase phira banArasa calA aayaa| aura zrI zAstrIjIse adhyayana karane lgaa| inhIMke dvArA 3 khaNDa nyAyAcAryake pAsa kiye, parantu phira udvega huA aura kAryavaza bAIjIke pAsa A gyaa| bAIjIne kahA-'beTA tumheM 6 khaNDa pAsa karane the, para tumhArI icchaa|' bAbA zivalAlajI aura bAbA daulatarAmajI maiM kAraNavaza lalitapura gayA thA, yahA~ para rathayAtrA thii| usameM zrI bAlacandrajI savAlanavIsa sAgaranivAsI Aye the| ye dharmazAstrake acche jJAtA the, saMskRta bhI kucha jAnate the| ye uccakoTike savAlanavIsa the| jisa arjIdAvAko ye likhate the use acche-acche vakIla aura bairisTara bhI mAna lete the| itanA hone para bhI inakA nitya prati do ghaNTA svAdhyAya hotA thaa| inake For Personal & Private Use Only

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bAbA zivalAlajI aura bAbA daulatarAmajI vyAkhyAnameM svargIya paM. maujIlAlajI, svargIya nAthUrAmajI kaTharayA, sva. pannAlAlajI bar3akura, sva. nanhUmalajI sarrApha, karor3ImalajI sarrApha tathA lampUlAlajI modI Adi acche-acche zrotA upasthita hote the / inake sAtha mujhe sAgara jAnekA avasara milaa| inakA pravacana sunanekA bhI maukA milA, inako mokSamArga kaNThastha thA aura inake tarkase acche-acche ghabar3A jAte the / merA inake sAtha atisneha ho gyaa| sAgarameM kucha dina Thaharakara maiM zrInainAgiri kSetrakI vandanAke lie calA gayA / vahA~ para zrIvarNI daulatarAmajIkA svargavAsa ho gayA thA / inake guru bAbA zivalAlajI the jo sirasIgrAmake rahanevAle the| ve bar3e tapasvI the / inakI sAmAyika 6 ghaDIkI hotI thI / 123 eka bAra sAmAyika karate samaya inake Upara cITIM car3ha gaI, parantu ve apane dhyAnase calAyamAna nahIM hue / inako nimittajJAna bhI acchA thaa| eka bAra ye bamarAnA gaye jo ki maharaunI tahasIla aura lalitapura jilemeM hai| vahA~ ye zrIbrajalAla candrabhAnujI seThake yahA~ Thahare the| maiM bhI usI samaya vahA~para gayA thA / zrIseThajIke yahA~ jalavihAra honA thA / zrIsavAI siMghaI dharmadAsajI sAdUmalavAle usakI patrikA likha rahe the| patrikAko dekha kara bAbAjIne kahA--'brajalAla ! yaha dharmotsava isa miti para nahIM hogA / tumheM 4 dinake bAda iSTa viyoga hogaa| bAbAjIkI bAta sunakara saba loga duHkhI ho gaye / antameM 4 dinake bAda zrIseta lakSmIcandrajIke putrakA svargavAsa ho gyaa| isI prakAra eka dina zrIbrajalAlajIkA dAmAda aura unake lar3akekA sAlA mandirakI dAlAna meM leTe hue paraspara bAtacIta kara rahe the / unheM dekha bAbAjIne brajalAla seThako bulAkara kahA ki 'tumhArA dAmAda 6 mAsameM aura tumhAre lar3akekA sAlA 1 sAlameM mRtyukA grAsa hogaa|' so aisA hI huA / unhIM bAbAjIne eka dina mandira jAte samaya seTha brajalAlakI mA~se pUchA ki candrabhAnu nahIM dikhatA ? mA~ ne kahA- mahArAja ! use to pandrahavIM laMghana hai|' mahArAjane kahA- 'hama dekhaneke liye calate haiN|' dekhakara kahA - 'yaha to niroga ho gayA, isakA roga paca gayA, ise Aja hI pathya denA cAhie aura pathyameM AmakI kar3I tathA purAne cAvalakA bhAta denA caahiye| jaba ise pathya ho jAvegA tabhI maiM bhojana kruuNgaa|' phira kyA thA ? pathyakI taiyArI hone lagI / vaidya logoMne kahA - 'acchI balA AI, kar3hIkA pathya sannipAtakA kAraNa hogA aura abhI to 2 laMghanakI kamI hai, ityAdi / parantu bAbAjIke tejake sAmane For Personal & Private Use Only

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124 merI jIvanagAthA kisIke bolanekI sAmarthya na huI / candrabhAnuko kar3hIkA pathya lenA hI par3A / pathya leneke bAda kisI tarahakI Apatti nahIM AI, pratyuta sAyaMkAlako kSudhAkI vedanA phira bhI huI, hA~, kucha khA~sI avazya calane lagI / prAtaHkAla bAbAjIse kahA gayA ki 'mahArAja ! candrabhAnu acchA hai parantu kucha-kucha khA~sI Ane lagI hai / ' bAbAjI bole- 'yaha tumhArI zraddhAkI durbalatA hai| acchA prAtaHkAla use kAlImirca aura namaka DAlakara nIMbUko garmakara cusA denA, khA~sI calI jAvegI ?' aisA hI kiyA, khA~sIkA patA nahIM ki kahA~ calI gaI ? bAbAjI bar3e dayAlu bhI the| koI bhI tyAgI A jAve, usakI saba tarahakI vaiyAvRtya zrAvakoM dvArA karavAte the| saiMkar3oM ajainoMko jainadharmakI zraddhA Apane karavAI thii| ApakA kahanA thA ki 'zarIrako sarvathA nirbala mata banAo / vrata upavAsa karo avazya, parantu jisameM vizeSa AkulatA ho jAve aisA zaktiko ulaMghana kara vrata mata kro| vratakA tAtparya to AkulatA dUra karanA hai / ' Apa bAbA daulatarAmajIko bahuta DA~Tate the- kahA karate the ki 'tere jo jJAnakA vikAsa hai usake dvArA paropakAra kara / yadi zaktihIna ho jAyegA to kyA karegA ?' bAbA daulatarAmajI bhI barAbara unakA Adeza mAnate rahe / ApakA saMvat 1676 meM samAdhimaraNa huaa| ye bhI eka viziSTa jJAnI the| usa samaya jaba ki padmapurANa taka hI zAstra bA~canevAle paNDita kahalAte the taba Apane binA kisI kI sahAyatA liye gommaTasArakA adhyayana kiyA thaa| ApakI pratibhA yahA~ taka thI ki gommaTasArako chandobaddha banA diyaa| Apa kavi bhI the / ApakI banAI huI aneka pUjAe~ aura bhajana yatra-tatra prasiddha haiM / unakI kavitA sarasa aura mArmika haiN| saM. 1981 meM Apake dvArA baNDA (sAgara) meM eka pAThazAlA aura chAtrAvAsakI sthApanA huI thI / yaha Apake hI puruSArthakA phala thA ki jo isa prAntameM sarvaprathama chAtrAvAsa aura pAThazAlAkI sthApanA ho sakI thii| jahA~ ApakA vihAra hotA thA vahIM saikar3oM zrAvaka pahu~cate the aura eka dharmakA melA anAyAsa laga jAtA thA / Apake dvArA prAntameM bahuta hI sudhAra huaa| pahale yahA~ rasoImeM ghara-ghara kaNDAkA vyavahAra hotA thA, kaccA dUdha jamAyA jAtA thA, rajasvalA strI bartana mA~jatI thI aura khaTamalakI khaTiyA ghAmameM DAla dI jAtI thii| ina sabakA niSedha Apane bar3I tatparatAke sAtha kiyA aura ve saba kArya banda ho gaye / Apake upadezase grAmanivAsI apane For Personal & Private Use Only

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koI upadeSTA na thA bAlakoMko jainadharma par3hAne lage / Apa bar3e hI jitendriya the / Apane antameM apane bhojanake lie eka mU~ga hI anAja rakha chor3A thA aura bAkI samasta anAjoMkA tyAgakara diyA thaa| yadyapi isase Apake pairoMmeM bhayaMkara darda ho gayA, jo 6 mAsa taka rahA, parantu Apa apane niyamase vicalita nahIM hue / ApameM yaha guNa thA ki Apa jo pratijJA lete the, prANAnta kaSTa honepara bhI use nahIM chor3ate the / ina mahopakArI bAbAjIkA antameM nainAgirijI siddhakSetra para svargavAsa ho gayA / mere nainAgiri pahu~caneke pahale hI ApakA svargavAsa ho cukA thA / vahA~ pahu~cane para jaba maiMne Apake samAdhimaraNakI carcA sunI to mujhe bhArI duHkha huA aura maiMne yahI nizcaya kiyA ki isa prAntameM eka aisA chAtrAvAsa avazya khulavAnA cAhiye jisameM uttama par3hAI ho, parantu sAmagrIkA honA atidurlabha thA / koI upadeSTA na thA 125 I usa samaya isa prAntake logoMkI ruci vidyAdhyayanameM prAyaH nahIM hI thI / yahA~ to dravyopArjana karanA hI manuSyoMkA uddezya thA / yadi kisIke dharma karaneke bhAva hue bhI to zrIjIke jalavihArameM dravya lagA diyaa| kisIke adhika bhAva hue to mandira banavA diyA yA paJcakalyANaka pratiSThA karA dI...... / yahI saba usa samayake logoMke dhArmika kArya the| inameM ve paisA bhI kAphI kharca karate the| jisake yahA~ paJcakalyANaka hote the ve eka varSase sAmagrI saMcita karate the paJcakalyANakameM cAlIsa hajAra AdamiyoMkA ekatrita honA koI bAta na thI / itanI bhIr3a to dehAtameM ho jAtI thI, para bar3e-bar3e zaharoMmeM eka lAkha taka jainI ikaTThe ho jAte the| una sabakA prabandha karanA koI sahaja bAta na thI / lakar3I, ghAsa, canA Adi sabako denA yaha kucha bAta hI na thI, tIna dina taka miSThAnna bhojana bhI diyA jAtA thA / usa samaya ATekI cakkI na thI, ataH hAthakI cakkiyoM dvArA hI saba ATA taiyAra hotA thA / isa mahAbhojyako dekhakara acche-acche raIsoMkI buddhi bhramameM par3a jAtI thii| eka bArameM 50000 pacAsa hajAra AdamiyoMko bhojana karAnA kitane catura parosanevAloMkA kAma thA / Ajakala to 10 AdamiyoMke bhojanakI vyavasthA karanA kaThina ho jAtA hai / loga itanA bhArI kharca bar3I ha~sI khuzIke sAtha karate the, para vidyAdAnakI aura kisIko dRSTi na thI / pUjana pATha bhI zuddha rItise nahIM jAnate the / bhAdramAsameM sUtrapAThake liye bhAyajI sAhabako bulAyA jAtA thA / yahA~ bhAyajI zabdakA artha paNDitajI jAnanA aura paNDita zabdakA yaha artha jAnanA ki jo For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 126 sUtra bAMcanA jAnate hoM, jinheM bhaktAmara kaNTha ho, jo padamapurANa, ratnakaraNDazrAvakAcAra sadAsukharAyajIvAlA, saMskRtameM deva zAstra aura gurukI pUjA tathA dazalakSaNa jayamAla mUlakI vacanikA karanA jAnate hoM ve paNDita kahalAte the| yadi koI guNaThANAkI carcA jAnatA ho taba to kahanA hI kyA hai ? kriyAkoSakA jAnanevAlA caraNAnuyogakA paNDita mAnA jAtA thA aura pratiSThApATha karAnevAle to mahAn paNDita mAne jAte the / loga bahuta sarala the| bhAyajI sAhabakI AjJAko gurukI AjJA samajhate the| jJAnakI nyUnatA honepara bhI logoMkI pravRtti dharmameM bahuta rahatI thI, pApase bahuta Darate the, yadi kisIse dhokhemeM aNDA phUTa gayA to usako mahAn prAyazcitta karanA par3atA thA, parastrIsevIko jAtise cyuta kara diyA jAtA thA aura jaba taka usase eka pakkA aura kaccA bhojana na le leM taba taka usakA mandira banda rahatA thaa| jaba taka do paMkti bhojana aura yathAzakti mandirako daNDa na deve taba taka use mandira nahIM jAne dete the aura na usakA koI pAnI hI pItA thaa| yahI nahIM jaba taka vaha apane gharase vivAha na karale taba taka koI use vivAhameM nahIM bulAte the / isa prakAra kaThinase kaThina daNDa- vidhAna usa samaya the, ataH una dinoM Aja jaise pApa na the / itanA saba honepara bhI logoMmeM paraspara bar3A prema rahatA thA / yadi kisIke ghara koI navIna padArtha bhojanakA kahIMse AyA to mohallA bharameM vitaraNa kiyA jAtA thA / yadi kisIke ghara gAya bhaiMsakA baccA huA to zuddhatAke bAda usakA dUdha mohallA bharake gharoMmeM pahu~cAnekI paddhati thI / ityAdi udAratA honepara bhI koI vidyAdAnakI tarapha dRSTipAta nahIM karatA thA aura isakA mUla kAraNa yaha thA ki koI isa viSayakA upadeSTA na thA / zrI sva. bAbA daulatarAmajIke prati jo merI zraddhA ho gaI thI usakA mUla kAraNa yahI thA ki unhoMne usa samaya logoMkA citta vidyAdAnakI ora AkarSita kiyA thA aura baNDAmeM eka chAtrAvAsa tathA pAThazAlAkI sthApanA karA dI thii| isa pAThazAlAkI par3hAI pravezikA taka hI sImita thI aura 30 chAtroMke rahane tathA bhojanakA usameM prabandha thaa| isa pAThazAlAke maMtrI zrI daulatarAmajI caudharI baNDAvAle, sabhApati rAyasAhaba mohanalAlajI roMDAvAle, adhiSThAtA dhanaprasAdajI seTha baNDAvAle aura adhyApaka zrI paM. mUlacandrajI vilauA the / For Personal & Private Use Only

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sAgarameM zrI sattarkasudhAtaraMgiNI jaina pAThazAlAkI sthApanA 127 isa pAThazAlAkI unnatimeM paM. mUlacandrajIkA vizeSa parizrama thaa| Apa bahuta hI suyogya vyakti haiN| Apake tatkAlIna prabandhako dekhakara acche-acche manuSyoMkI vidyAdAnameM ruci ho jAtI thii| ApakI vacanakalA itanI madhura hotI thI ki nahIM denevAlA bhI dekara jAtA thaa| yahA~ para (baNDAmeM) paravAroMke tIna khAnadAna prasiddha the-sAhu khAnadAna, caudharI khAnadAna aura bhAyajI khAnadAna, golApUrvomeM seTha dhanaprasAdajI prasiddha vyakti the| ina sabake prayatnase pAThazAlA pratidina unnati karatI gii| hama yaha pahale likha Aye haiM ki isa pAThazAlAkI par3hAI pravezikA taka hI sImita thii| usameM saMskRta vidyAke par3hanekA samucita prabandha na thaa| paNDita mUlacandrajI kAtantra vyAkaraNa taka hI saMskRta par3he the, ataH unase saMskRtakI par3hAI honA asambhava thaa| yaha saba dekhakara mere manameM yahIM cintA uThA karatI thI ki jisa dezameM prativarSa lAkhoM rupaye dharma kAryameM vyaya hote hoM vahA~ke AdamI yaha bhI na jAneM ki deva, zAstra aura gurukA kyA svarUpa hai ? aSTa mUlaguNa kyA haiM ? yaha saba ajJAnakA hI mAhAtmya hai| mujhe isa prAntameM eka vizAla vidyAlaya aura chAtrAvAsakI kamI nirantara khalatI rahatI thii| sAgarameM zrI sattarkasudhAtaraMgiNI jaina pAThazAlAkI sthApanA lalitapurameM vimAnotsava thA, maiM bhI vahA~ para gayA, usI samaya sAgarake bahutase mahAnubhAva bhI vahA~ pdhaare| unameM zrI bAlacandrajI savAlanavIsa, nandUmalajI kaNDayA, kaDorImallajI sarrApha aura paM. mUlacandrajI bilauA Adi the| ina logoMse hamArI bAtacIta huI aura maiMne apanA abhiprAya inake samakSa rakha diyaa| loga sunakara bahuta prasanna hue, parantu prasannatAmAtra to kAryakI jananI nhiiN| dravyake binA kArya kaise ho ityAdi cintAmeM sAgarameM mahAzaya vyagra ho gye| zrIyut bAlacandrajI savAlanavIsane kahA ki cintA karanekI bAta nahIM, sAgara jAkara hama uttara deveNge| loga sAgara gaye vahA~se uttara AyA-'Apa Aiye, yahA~ para pAThazAlAkI vyavasthA ho jaavegii|' maiMne lalitapurase uttara diyA-'ApakA likhanA ThIka hai parantu hamAre pAsa naiyAyika sahadeva jhA haiM, unako rakhanA pdd'egaa| hama unase vidyAdhyayana karate haiN|' patrake pahu~cate hI uttara AyA 'Apa unheM sAtha lete Aiye jo vetana unakA hogA hama deveNge|' hama naiyAyikajI ko lekara sAgara pahu~ca gye| akSayatRtIyA vIra nirvANa saM. 2435, vi.saM. 1665 ko pAThazAlA khAlanekA muhUrta nizcaya kiyA gayA / For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 128 isa pAThazAlAkA prArambhika vivaraNa isa prakAra hai-yahA~ para eka choTI pAThazAlA thI, jisameM paM. mUlacandrajI adhyApana karAte the| usa pAThazAlAke maMtrI zrI pUrNacandrajI bajAja the| Apa bahuta hI utsAhI aura udyogI puruSa haiN| Apake hI prayatnase vaha choTI pAThazAlA zrIsattarkasudhA-taraMgiNI nAmameM parivartita ho gii| Apake sahAyaka zrI pannAlAlajI bar3akura tathA zrI modI dharmacandrajIke laghubhrAtA kanchedIlAlajI Adi the| ina sabakI sammatti isa kAryameM thI, parantu mukhya prazna isa bAtakA thA ki itanA dravya kahA~se Ave, jisase ki chAtrAvAsa sahita pAThazAlAkA kArya acchI taraha cala ske| para jo kArya honevAlA hotA hai use kauna roka sakatA hai ? sAgarameM kaNDayAkA vaMza prasiddha hai| isameM eka haMsarAja kaNDayA the| unake pAsa acchI sampatti thii| acAnaka ApakA svargavAsa ho gyaa| dhanakA adhikAra unakI putrIko milaa| unake bhatIje zrI kaNDayA nanhUmalajIne koI Apatti nahIM kI, kintu unake dAmAdase kahA ki Apa 10000) pAThazAlAke lie de do| aisA karanese unakI kIrti raha skegii| dAmAdane saharSa 10001) vidyAdAnameM diyA aura sAtha hI nanhUmalajIne eka koThI pAThazAlAko lagA dii| jisakA mAsika kirAyA 100) AtA thaa| isa prakAra dravyakI pUrti huii| taba akSayatRtIyAke dina bar3e gAje bAjeke sAtha pAThazAlAkA zubha muhUrta zrIzivaprasAdajIke gRhameM sAnanda ho gyaa| mukhyAdhyApaka zrI sahadevajI jhA naiyAyika, zrI chiMge zAstrI vaiyAkaraNa, zrI paM. mUlacandrajI suparinTenDenTa, 1 rasoiyA, 1 caparAsI aura 1 bartana malanevAlA, itanA usa pAThazAlAkA parikara thaa| pAMca chAtroM dvArA pAThazAlA calane lgii| kArya upayogI thA, ataH bAharake logoMse bhI sahAyatA milane lgii| par3hAI kvInsa kAlejake anusAra hotI thii| jaba taka chAtra pravezikAmeM uttIrNa nahIM hotA thA taba taka use dharmazAstra nahIM par3hAyA jAtA thA.....isa para samAjameM bar3I TIkA-TippaNiyA~ hone lgiiN| koI kahatA-'Akhira gaNezaprasAda vaiSNava hI to haiN| unheM jainadharmakA mahattva nahIM aataa| unake dvArA jainadharmakA upakAra kaise ho sakatA hai ?' koI kahatA-jahA~ para brAhmaNa adhyApaka hai aura unhIMkI pustakeM par3hAI jAtI haiM vahA~ke zikSita chAtra jainadharmakI zraddhA kara sakeMge, yaha saMbhava nhiiN| aura koI kahatA-'are yahA~ke chAtroMse to NamokAramantra takakA zuddha uccAraNa nahIM hotaa| koI yaha bhI kaha uThate ki yaha bAta chor3o, unheM to devadarzana taka nahIM AtA.....aisI pAThazAlAke rakhanese kyA lAbha ?' For Personal & Private Use Only

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sAgarameM zrI rAttarkasudhAtaraMgiNI jaina pAThazAlAkI sthApanA ina saba vyavahAroMse merA citta khinna hone lagA aura yaha bAta manameM Ane lagI ki sAgara chor3a kara calA jAU~ ! parantu phira manameM socatA ki 'zreyAMsi bahuvidhnAni' acche kAryoMmeM vighna AyA hI karate haiM, merA abhiprAya to nirmala hai, maiM to yahI cAhatA hU~ ki yahA~ke chAtra praur3ha vidvAn bneN| jinheM SaSThI - paJcamIkA viveka nahIM, ve kyA ratnakaraNDa zrAvakAcAra pddh'eNge| kevala totAraTantase koI lAbha nahIM ho pAtA / bhASAkA jJAna ho jAnepara usameM varNita padArthakA jJAna anAyAsa hI ho jAtA hai...... ataH sAgara chor3anA ucita nahIM / 129 zrI pUrNacandrajI bar3e gambhIra svabhAvake haiN| unhoMne kahA ki 'kAma karate jAiye, ApattiyA~ Apase Apa dUra hotI jaayeNgiiN|' 'daivecchA valIyasI' / do varSake bAda pAThazAlAse chAtra pravezikAmeM uttIrNa hone lge| taba logoMko kucha saMtoSa huA aura ratnakaraNDa zrAvakAcAra Adi saMskRta granthoMkA anvaya sahita abhyAsa karane lage taba to unake harSakA ThikAnA na rahA / pAThazAlAke sarvaprathama chAtra zrI munnAlAlajI pATanavAle the / pravezikA meM sarvaprathama Apa hI uttIrNa hue the| Apa bar3e hI pratibhAzAlI chAtra the / Apane prArambhase lekara nyAyatIrtha takakA adhyayana kevala 5 varSameM kara liyA thaa| Aja Apa usI pAThazAlAke pradhAnamaMtrI haiM aura sAgarake eka kuzala vyApArI / kAlakramase isI pAThazAlAmeM paM. niddhAmallajI, paM. jIvandharajI zAstrI indaura, paM. darabArIlAlajI vardhA, paM. dayAcandrajI zAstrI, paM. mANikacandrajI nyAyatIrtha tathA paM. pannAlAlajI sAhityAcArya Adi anekoM chAtra praviSTa hue, jo Aja samAjake prakhyAta vidvAn mAne jAte haiN| aba jisa makAnameM pAThazAlA thI, vaha makAna choTA par3ane lagA / usa samaya sAgarameM aisA koI makAna yA dharmazAlA na thI, jisameM 20 chAtroMkA nirvAha ho sake, ataH nirantara cintA rahane lagI, parantu yadi bhavitavyatA acchI hotI hai to saba nimitta anAyAsa milate jAte haiN| zrI rAIse bajAjane, jo ki samaiyAcaityAlayake prabandhaka the, caityAlayakA eka bar3A makAna, jo ki camelI cauka meM thA, pAThazAlAke lie de diyA aura pAThazAlA usameM calI gaI / vahA~ do adhyApakoMke rahane yogya sthAna bhI thA / usa samaya vaisA makAna 40) mAsika kirAyepara bhI nahIM miltaa| isa taraha makAnakI cintA to dUra huii| para vyaya sthAyI AmadanIse adhika hone lagA, ataH saba kAryakartAoMko cintA hone lagI / antameM yaha nirNaya kiyA ki kaTarA calA jaave| yadi vahA~ke thoka For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #155
130 merI jIvanagAthA vyApArI dharmAdAya deveM to sambhava hai upayukta AmadanI hone lge| isake anantara kaI mahAzayoMse sammatti lii| sabhIne kahA bahuta uttama vicAra hai / eka dina kaTarAke saba paJcoMse nivedana kiyA ki Apake grAmameM yaha eka hI pAThazAlA aisI hai jisake dvArA prAnta bharakA upakAra honekI sambhAvanA hai| yadi Apa loga dharmAdAya denekI anukampA kareM to pAThazAlAkI sthiratA anAyAsa hI ho jAve, kyoMki usameM Aya kama hai aura vyaya bahuta hai / zrIyuta malaiyA pyArelAlajI, zrIyuta malaiyA zivaprasAdajI, zrIyuta siMghaI maujIlAlajI, zrIyuta siMghaI hotIlAlajI, zrIyuta siMghaI rAjArAma munnAlAlajI aura zrIyuta siMghaI manasukhalAlajI dalAla Adine bar3I hI prasannatAke sAtha eka AnA saikar3A dharmAdAya lagA diyA, isase pAThazAlAkI Arthika vyavasthA kucha-kucha sa~bhala gaI / isI samaya zrI siMghaI kundanalAlajIse merA ghaniSTha sambandha ho gayA / Apa mujhe apane bhAIke samAna mAnane lage / mAsameM prAtaH 10 dina Apake ghara bhojana karanA par3atA thA / eka dina maiMne Apase pAThazAlAkI Aya sambandhI carcA kI to Apane bar3I sAntavanA dete hue kahA ki cintA mata karo, hama koziza kreNge| Apa ghI aura galleke bar3e bhArI vyApArI haiN| Apake aura zrIyuta mANikacaukavAle kanhaiyAlAlajIke prabhAvase eka paisA pratigAr3I dharmAdAya galle bAjArase ho gyaa| isI prakAra Apane ghIke vyApAriyoMse bhI koziza kI, jisase phrI mana Adha pAva pAThazAlAko milane lagA / isa prakAra hajAroM rupaye pAThazAlAkI Aya ho gii| yaha to sthAnIya sahAyatAkI bAta rahI / dehAtameM bhI jahA~ kahIM dhArmika utsava hote, vahA~se pAThazAlAko saikar3oM rupaye milate the| isa taraha bundelakhaNDake kendrasthAna sAgarameM zrIsattarkasudhArataraMgiNI jaina pAThazAlAkA pAyA kucha hI samayameM sthira ho gayA / pAThazAlAkI sahAyatAke lie saMskRta par3hane kI ora chAtroMkA AkarSaNa bar3hane lagA, isalie chAtrasaMkhyA prativarSa adhika hone lgii| chAtroM aura adhyApakoMkA samUha hI to zikSAsaMsthA hai| isa saMsthAmeM vidvAn acche rakkhe jAte the aura unheM vetana bhI samayAnukUla acchA diyA jAtA thA, jisase ve bar3I tatparatAke sAtha kAma karate the / yahI kAraNa thA ki saMsthAne thor3e hI samayameM logoMke hRdayameM ghara kara liyA / maiM pAThazAlAkI sahAyatAke lie dehAtameM jAne lgaa| eka bAra barAyaThA For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #156
pAThazAlAkI sahAyatAke lie 131 grAma, jo ki baNDA tahasIlameM hai, phuNcaa| vahA~ zrIjIkA vimAnotsava thaa| do hajAra manuSyoMkI bhIr3a thii| zrIyuta kamalApatijI seThake Agrahase mujhe bhI jAnekA avasara aayaa| vahA~ kI sAmAjika vyavasthA dekhakara maiM AzcaryAnvita ho gyaa| vahA~ para cAlIsa ghara jainiyoMke haiN| saba golApUrva vaMzake haiN| sabhIke paraspara prema haiN| eka mandira hai jo jamInase pA~ca hAtha kI kurasIpara bIsa hAthakI U~cAI lekara banAyA gayA hai| usakI unnata zikhara dUrase hI dRSTigata hone lagatI hai| mandira ke cAroM tarapha eka koTa hai, eka dharmazAlA bhI hai, jisameM tyAgI Adi dharmAtmA jana ThaharAye jAte haiN| maiM seTha kamalApatijIke yahA~ tthhraa| ___maiMne kahA-'bhAI ! do hajAra AdamiyoMkI paMgatakA prabandha kaise hogA ?' Apane kahA-'yahA~kA yaha niyama hai ki paMgatameM jitanA ATA yA besana lagatA hai vaha saba gharavAle pIsakara dete haiN| abhI jAr3eke dina haiM, ataH sAta dinake andarakA hI ATA hai| pAnI saba jainiyoMkI aurateM kue~se lAtI haiN| eka hI bArameM cAlIsa khepa pAnI A jAtA hai| pUr3I banAneke lie pratyeka gharase eka belanevAlI AtI hai| vaha apanA belana aura urasA sAtha lAtI hai| marda bArI-bArIse nikAla dete haiM, miThAI banAnevAle bhI kaI vyakti haiM, ve banA dete haiN| isa prakAra tAjA bhojana AgantukoMko milatA hai| bhojana do bAra hotA hai| isake sivAya prAtaHkAla bAlakoMko kalevA (nAstA) bhI diyA jAtA hai| hamAre yahA~ DhImarase pAnI nahIM bhraate| yaha to dhArmika kArya hai, vivAha kAryoM meM bhI DhImarase pAnI nahIM bhraate| yaha paMgatakI vyavasthA hai| grAmake logoMmeM itanA prema hai ki jisake yahA~ utsava hotA hai, vaha avyagra rahatA hai| saba prakArakA prabandha yahA~kI Ama janatA karatI hai|' ___ mujhe seThajIke mukhase paMgatakI vyavasthA sunakara bahuta hI Ananda huaa| prAtaHkAla gAje-bAjeke sAtha dravya lAte the| maMgalapATha par3hate hue jala bharaneke liye jAte the| jaba zrIjIkA abhiSeka hotA thA, taba sumeru parvatake Upara kSIrasAgarajalase indra hI mAnoM abhiSeka kara rahe hoM...yaha dRzya sAmane A jAtA thaa| jisa samaya gAna-tAnake sAtha pUjana hotI thI, sahasroM nara-nArI pramodase gadgada ho uThate the| eka-eka caupAI pandraha-pandraha minaTameM pUrI hotI thii| maiMne to apanI paryAyameM aisI pUjana nahIM dekhii| pUjanake bAda gAnevAlA bhairavImeM zrIjIkA stavana karatA thaa| yahA~ para eka bhAyajI rAmalAlajI jAsor3AvAle Aye the| ApakA galA itanA sundara aura surIlA thA ki loga unakA gAna For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #157
merI jIvanagAthA 132 sunakara ghara jAnA bhUla jAte the| pUjanake bAda loga DerApara jAte aura vahA~se saba ekatra ho paMgatake lie pahu~cate the| do hajAra manuSyoMkA eka sAtha bhojana thA ! bhojanameM zAka, pUrI aura miThAI rahatI thii| isa taraha bhojana kara loga madhyAhnakA samaya Amoda-pramodameM vyatIta karate aura sAyaMkAlakA bhojana kara bAhara jAte the| pazcAt sandhyA vandanA karaneko mandira jAte the| usa samayakA dRzya bhI apUrva hotA thaa| eka ghaNTA bhagavAnakI gAnatAnake sAtha AratI hotI thii| kaI to aisA adbhuta nRtya karate the ki jise dekhakara tANDavanRtyakA smaraNa ho AtA thaa| AratIke pazcAt do ghaNTA zAstrapravacanameM jAte the| zAstrameM ratnakaraNDazrAvakAcAra aura padmapurANakI vacanikA hotI thii| zAstra bA~caneke bAda yaha upadeza hotA thA ki bhAI ! ratnadvIpameM Aye ho, kucha to lekara jaao| upadezase prabhAvita hokara koI kandamUla tyAgatA thA, koI baiMgana tyAgatA thA, koI rAtrijalakA tyAga karatA thA, koI bAjArakI miThAI chor3atA thA aura koI rAtrike bane hue bhojanakA tyAga karatA thaa| isa prakAra tIna dina bar3e Anandake sAtha biite| tIsare dina jala bihAra huA-zrIjIkA abhiSeka hokara pUjana huaa| anantara phUlamAlA huii| phUlamAlA bar3e gAneke sAtha hotI thii| usameM mandirakI prAyaH acchI Aya huI thii| antameM pAThazAlAkI apIla kI gii| usameM karIba 500) A gye| usa samayake 500) Ajake 5000) ke barAbara haiN| jaba yaha saba kArya nirvighna samApta ho gayA aura maiM sAgara jAne lagA taba seTha kamalApatijIne mujhe apane ghara roka liyaa| __hama donoM prAtaHkAla girArake mandirake darzanArtha gye| yaha sthAna barAyaThAse tIna mIlakI dUrI para hai| mandirake nIce hI athAha jalase bharI huI nadI bahatI hai aura saba tarapha aTavI hai| atyanta ramaNIya bhUmi hai| vaha tapa karaneke yogya sthAna hai| parantu paJcamakAlameM tapa karanevAle durlabha haiN| barAyaThA grAmameM 300 jainI hoMge jo saba tarahase sampanna haiM, kuTumbavAle bhI haiM, parantu itane mohI haiM ki putra-pautrAdike rahate hue bhI ghara chor3anemeM asamartha haiN| yahA~se eka koza bhIkamapura hai| vahA~ bhI dasa ghara jainiyoMke haiM jo uttama haiN| eka bhAI to bahuta hI jJAtA haiM, parantu mamatAvaza ghara nahIM chor3a skte| isa prakAra hama donoM do sthAnoMke darzana kara barAyaThA A gye| pazcAt For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #158
pAThazAlAkI sahAyatAke lie 133 do dina Thahara kara hama donoM tattvacarcA karate hue sAgarake lie ravAnA ho gye| vahA~se calakara dalapatapura aaye| rAtriko mandira gye| yahA~ para mandirameM acchI janatA upasthita ho gii| maiMne zAstrapravacana kiyaa| pazcAt pAThazAlAke lie anAjakI prArthanA kI to bIsa borA arthAt pacAsa mana gehU~ ho gyaa| vahA~ para siMghaI javAharalAla bahuta hI pratApI AdamI the tathA bhUrelAlajI zAha bhI dhanADhya vyakti the| Apane bar3e snehase rakkhA / yahA~se calakara baNDA aaye| pacAsa ghara jainiyoMke haiM jo prAyaH sabhI sampanna haiN| yahIM para zrI varNI daulatarAmajIke satprayatnase borDiMga aura pAThazAlAkI isa dezameM sarvaprathama sthApanA huI thii| yahA~se bhI pAThazAlAko paryApta sahAyatA milii| yahA~se calakara hama loga karrApura aaye| yahA~ bhUre Devar3iyA bahuta hI sajjana vyakti the| unhoMne bhI pAThazAlAko acchI sahAyatA dii| Apa eka dhArmika vyakti the| Apake samAdhimaraNakI carcA sunakara Apa logoMkI zraddhA dharmameM dRr3ha ho jaavegii| jisa dina ApakA samAdhimaraNa thA, usa dina karrApurakA bAjAra thaa| Apane dinabhara bAjAra kiyaa| zAmako Apake putrane kahA-'pitAjI ! anthaU kara liijiye| Apane kahA-'Aja kucha icchA nhiiN|' bAlakane kahA-'aba to bilkula zAma ho gaI, ataH ghara cliye|' unhoMne kahA-'Aja yahIM zayana kreNge|' beTAne khaa-'acchaa| putra ghara calA gayA aura Apa dukAnameM hI eka koTharI thI, jisameM sadA svAdhyAya aura sAmAyika kiyA karate the, rAtri hote hI usImeM cale gaye aura sAmAyika karane lge| sAmAyikake bAda Apane koTharIke kivAr3a banda kara liye| isI bIca putrane Akara kahA-'pitAjI kivAr3a kholiye, nAI paira dAbane AyA hai| Apa bole-'beTA Aja paira nahIM dabAveMge' prAtaHkAla dekhA jaavegaa| lar3akA calA gyaa| use kucha patA nahIM ki Apa so gaye yA svAdhyAya karate haiM yA kyA karate haiM ? kintu jaba prAtaHkAla huA aura pitAjIkI koTharI nahIM khulI taba vaha bar3e jorase bolane lagA'pitAjI ! kivAr3a kholo, pUjanakA samaya ho gyaa| pitAjI hoM taba to kholeN| vaha to na jAne kaba svargavAsako cale gye| jaba kisI taraha kivAr3a khole gaye taba lar3akA kyA dekhatA hai ki pitAjI digambara veSameM bhItake sahAre padamAsanase Tike baiThe hue haiM, unakA zarIra nizceSTa hai, sAmane eka caukI par3I hai, usapara eka zAstra virAjamAna hai, pAsa hI eka samAI rakkhI hai, caukI para eka kAgaja rakkhA hai aura usIke pAsa 200) rakkhe haiM | For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #159
merI jIvanagAthA 134 kAgajameM likhA hai-'beTA ! Ajataka hamArA tumhArA pitA putrakA sambandha thaa| hamane tumhAre lie bahuta yatnase dhanArjana kiyA, parantu anyAyase nahIM kmaayaa| itanI bar3I paryAyameM hamane kabhI paradArako kudRSTise nahIM dekhA, koI bhI tyAgI hamAre yahA~ AyA, hamane yathAzakti use bhojana karAyA aura yadi usane tIrthayAtrAdike liye kucha mA~gA to yathAzakti dravya bhI use diyaa| yadyapi isa samaya vidyAdAnakI sabase adhika AvazyakatA hai, parantu hamAre pAsa puSkala dravya nahIM ki usakI pUrti kara skeN| dhanArjana to bahuta loga karate haiM, parantu usakA sadupayoga bahuta kama karate haiN| tuma hamArI eka bAta mAnanA-hamane Ajanma sAde vastroMse apanA jIvana bitAyA, ataH tuma bhI kadApi anusevya vastroMkA vyavahAra na krnaa| aura jo yaha 200 rakkhe haiM unheM vidyAdAna meM lagA denaa| athavA tumhArI jahA~ icchA ho so lgaanaa| apane prAntameM jo teraIkI cAla hai vaha dekhAdekhI cala par3I hai| ise vizeSa rUpa denA acchA nahIM, ataH sAmAnyarUpase karanA / yadi loga tumhAre sAtha jabardastI kareM to razma na meMTanA, kara denaa| parantu vivAhakI taraha nAnA pakvAnna na bnaanaa| sAtha hI apanI jAtivAloMko khilAkara dIna-duHkhI jIvoMko bhI khilA denaa|' dUsare paracAmeM likhA thA ki AtmAkI acintya zakti hai| karmane use saMkucita kara rakkhA hai, ataH jo use bikasita karanA cAhate haiM ve karmakA mUla kAraNa jo moha hai use avazya tyaageN| maiMne jo vastroMkA tyAga kiyA hai so buddhipUrvaka kiyA hai| vastrakI taraha maiMne saba parigrahakA tyAga kiyA hai| parigraha tyAga karate samaya mere antaraMgameM yaha bhAva nahIM hue ki isakI kucha vyavasthA kara jAU~, kyoMki jo vastu hI hamArI nahIM hai usakI vyavasthA karanA kahA~ taka nyAyocita hai| 200) jo rakha diye haiM so kevala lokapaddhatikI rakSAke liye / vAstavameM to vastu hamArI nahIM hai usake vitaraNakA hameM kyA adhikAra hai ? bahuta kucha likhanekA bhAva thA, parantu aba mere hAthameM zakti nhiiN| ___ yaha bAta unake putrake mukhase sunii| rAtriko usI grAmameM rhe| prAtaHkAla bhojana kara hama donoMne sAgarake liye prasthAna kiyaa| vahA~se calakara baheriyA grAmake kuApara pAnI pIne lge| itanemeM hI kyA dekhate haiM ki sAmane eka bAlaka aura usakI mAtA khar3I hai| bAlakakI avasthA pA~ca varSakI hogii| use dekhakara aisA mAlUma hotA thA ki vaha pyAsA hai| maiMne use pAnI pilA diyA aura hamAre pAsa khAneke liye jo kucha mevA the, usa bAlakako bhI thoDese de diye| pazcAt maiMne aura kamalApatijI seThane pAnI piyA aura thor3A-thor3A mevA For Personal & Private Use Only

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mar3AvarAmeM vimAnotsava I khaayaa| khAkara nizcinta hue aura calaneke liye jyoM hI udyamI hue tyoMhI vaha . sAmane khar3I huI aurata rone lgii| hamane usase pUchA- 'kyoM rotI hai ?' usane hitaiSI jAna apanI kathA kahanA prArambha kiyA- 'mere patiko gujare hue ATha mAha hue haiM, hamArA jo devara hai vaha barAbara lar3atA hai aura vaha mere khAne meM truTi karatA hai / yadyapi mere yahA~ bIsa bIghA jamIna hai, paryApta anna bhI hotA hai, parantu hamArI sahAyatA nahIM karatA, maiM mArI-mArI phiratI hU~ / Aja yaha vicAra kiyA ki pitAke ghara calI jAU~ / vahIM apanA nirvAha karU~gI / yadyapi maiM zudra kulameM janmI hU~ aura mere yahA~ dUsarA pati rakhanekA rivAja hai, parantu maiMne dekhA ki dUsarA pati rakhanevAlI aurata ko bar3e-bar3e kaSTa sahanA par3atA hai, ataH patike rakhanekA vicAra chor3akara ghara jA rahI hU~ / yahI merI rAma kahAnI hai / ' 135 hamAre pAsa kucha thA nahIM, kevala dhotI aura dupaTTA thA tathA dhotImeM kucha rupaye the| maiMne vaha dhotI, dupaTTA tathA saba rupaye use de diyA / kevala nIce laMgoTa raha gayA / seThajI bole- 'isa veSameM sAgara kaise jAoge ?' maiMne kahA- 'cintAkI koI bAta nahIM / yahA~ se calakara tIna mIlapara sAmAyika kareMge / pazcAt rAtrike sAta baje grAmameM jaaveNge| vahA~ para dhotI Adi saba vastra. rakhe hI haiN| isa prakAra hama aura kamalApatijI vahA~ se cale / bIcameM nitya niyamakI 1 vidhi kara sAgara pahu~ca gye| corakI taraha ghara phuNce| usa samaya bAIjI mandirako jA rahI thii| mujhe dekhakara bolIM- 'bhaiyA vastra kahA~ haiM ?' maiM cupa raha gyaa| kamalApatijIne jo kucha kathA thI, kaha dii| bAIjI ha~satI huI mandira calI giiN| AdhA ghaMTA bAda hama donoM bhI zAstrapravacanameM pahu~ca gae | pazcAt kamalApati seTha barAyaThA cale gaye aura unake sAtha hamArA gAr3hA sneha ho gayA / mar3AvarAmeM vimAnotsava I mar3AvarAse, jahA~ para ki merA bAlyakAla bItA thA, eka patra isa AzayakA AyA ki 'Apa patrake dekhate hI cale Aiye / yahA~ para zrI jinendra bhagavAnke vimAna nikAlanekA mahotsava hai / usameM do hajArake lagabhaga bhIr3a hogii|' maiM vahA~ ke lie prasthAna kara maharaunI pahu~cA / vahA~se paNDita motIlAlajI varNIko sAthameM liyaa| usa samaya Apa maharaunImeM adhyApakI karate the / barAyaThAse seTha kamalApatijIko bulAyA aura sAnanda mar3AvarA pahu~ca ge| usa samaya vahA~ samAjameM paraspara atyanta prema thaa| tIna dinakA utsava thaa| do paMgata zrI For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 136 dAmodara siMghaIkI orase thIM aura eka paMcAyatI thii| tInoM dina pUjApATha aura zAstrapravacanakA acchA Ananda rahA / antameM maiMne kahA-'bhAI eka prastAva paravAra sabhAmeM pAsa ho cukA hai ki jo 5000) vidyAdAnameM deve use siMghaI pada diyA jaave| isa grAmameM sau gharase Upara haiM, parantu bAlakoMko jainadharmakA jJAna karAneke lie kucha bhI sAdhana nahIM hai| jahA~ para 10 mandira hoM, bar3e-bar3e bimba, sundara-sundara vedikAe~ aura acche-acche gAna-vidyAke jAnanevAle hoM vahA~ dharmake jAnanekA kucha bhI sAdhana na ho, yaha yahA~ isa samAjako bhArI kalaMkakI bAta hai, ataH mujhe AzA hai ki sorayA vaMzake mahAnubhAva isa truTikI pUrti kreNge|' ___mere bAlyakAlake mitra zrI sorayA harIsiMhajI ha~sa gye| unakA ha~sanA kyA thA, siMghaI pada prAptikI sUcanA thii| unake hAsyase maiMne Agata janasamudAyake bIca ghoSaNA kara dI ki bar3I khuzIkI bAta hai ki hamAre bAlyakAlIna mitrane siMghaI padake lie 5000) kA dAna diyaa| usase eka jaina pAThazAlA kholI jaave| mitrane kahA-'hamako 10 minaTakA avakAza mile| hama apane bandhuvargase sammatti le leveN| samAjane kahA-'koI kSati nhiiN|' pazcAt unhoMne apane bhAiyoMse tathA bahorelAlajI sorayA, rAmalAla Adise sammatti maaNgii| sabane 5000) kA dAna sahaja svIkAra kiyA, paranta paJcoMse yaha bhikSA mA~gI ki kala hamAre yahA~ paMkti-bhojana honA caahie| sabhIne sahaja svIkRti de dii| isIke bIca eka avatAra-kathA huI, jise likha denA samucita samajhatA huuN| jisa samaya hamAre mitra apane bandhuvargase sammati kara rahe the, usa samaya maiMne zrI dAmodara siMghaIse kahA ki 'bhaiyA ! Apa to jAnate haiM ki 5000) meM kyA pAThazAlA cala sakegI ? 25) hI sUdake aaveNge| itanemeM to eka adhyApaka hI na mila skegaa| AzA hai Apa bhI 5000) kA dAna dekara grAmakI kIrtiko ajara-amara kara deveNge| 50) mAsikameM jaina pAThazAlA sadaiva calatI rhegii| Apake pUrvajoMne to gaganacumbI mandira banAkara ratha calAye aura anupama puNyabandhakA lAbha liyA, Apa vidyAratha calAkara bAlakoMke lie jJAnadAnakA lAbha diijie|' prathama to Apa bole ki 'hamAre bar3e bhAIkI aurata, jo gharakI mAlakina hai tathA mere do putra haiM, unase sammati lie binA kucha nahIM kara sktaa| maiMne kahA-'Apa svayaM mAlika haiM, saba kucha kara sakate haiM tathA ApakI bhaujIko isameM pUrNa sammati hai| maiM unase pUcha cukA huuN| daivayogase ve zAstrasabhAmeM AIM thiiN| maiMne unase kahA ki 'siM. dAmodarajI jo ki Apake devara haiM, 5000) For Personal & Private Use Only

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patita pAvana jainadharma vidyAdAnameM denA cAhate haiM, isameM ApakI kyA sammati hai ?' unhoMne kahA - 'isase uttama kyA hogA ki hamAre dvArA bAlakoMko jJAnadAna mile|' logoMne sunakara harSadhvani kI aura usI samaya kezara tathA pagar3I bulAI gaI / paJcoMne soMrayA vaMzake pramukha vyaktiyoMko pagar3I bA~dhI aura kezarakA tilaka lagAkara 'siMghaIjI juhAra' kA dastUra adA kiyA / pazcAt zrI siM. dAmodaradAsajIko bhI kezarakA tilaka lagAkara pagar3I bA~dhI aura 'savAI siMghaI' padase suzobhita kiyA / isa taraha jaina pAThazAlAke lie 10000) dasa hajArakA mUladhana anAyAsa ho gyaa| patita pAvana jainadharma 137 mar3AvarA se calakara hama loga zrI paM. motIlAlajI varNIke sAtha unake grAma jatArA phuNce| vahA~ para Anandase bhojana aura paNDitajIke sAtha dharmacarcA karanA yahI kAma thaa| yahA~ para eka jainI aise the, jo 25 varSase jaina samAjake dvArA bahiSkRta the| unhoMne eka gahoIkI aurata rakha lI thI / usake eka kanyA huI / usakA vivAha unhoMne vinaikAvAlake yahA~ kara diyA thaa| kucha dinake bAda vaha aurata mara gaI aura lar3akI apanI sasurAlameM rahane lgii| jAtise bahiSkRta honeke kAraNa loga unheM mandirameM darzana karaneke lie bhI nahIM Ane dete the aura janmase hI jainadharmake saMskAra honese anya dharmameM unakA upayoga lagatA nahIM thA / eka dina hama aura paM. motIlAlajI tAlAbameM snAna karaneke lie jA rahe the / mArgameM vaha bhI mila gye| zrI varNI motIlAlajIse unhoMne kahA ki 'kyA koI aisA upAya hai ki jisase mujhe jinendra bhagavAnke darzanoMkI AjJA mila jAve ?' motIlAlajI bole - 'bhAI ! yaha kaThina hai / tumheM jAti se khArija hue 25 varSa ho gaye tathA tumane usake hAthakA bhojana bhI khAyA hai, ataH yaha bAta bahuta kaThina hai / ' hamAre paM. motIlAlajI varNI atyanta sarala the| unhoMne jyoM-kI-tyoM bAta kaha dii| para maiMne varNIjIse nivedana kiyA ki 'kyA maiM inaseM kucha pUcha sakatA hU~ ?' Apa bole- 'hA~, jo cAho so pUcha sakate ho|' maiMne una Agantuka mahAzayase kahA- 'acchA yaha batAo ki itanA bhArI pApa karane para bhI tumhArI jinendradevake darzanakI ruci kaise banI rahI ?' vaha bole'paNDitajI ! pApa aura vastu hai tathA dharmameM ruci honA aura vastu hai / jisa samaya maiMne usa auratako rakkhA thA, usa samaya merI umara tIsa varSakI thI, maiM yuvA thA, merI strIkA dehAnta ho gayA, maiMne bahuta prayatna kiyA ki dUsarI zAdI ho jAve / maiM yadyapi zarIra se niroga thA aura dravya bhI mere pAsa 20000) se kama nahIM thA, For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 138 phira bhI suyoga nahIM huaa| manameM vicAra AyA ki gupta pApa karanA mahAn pApa hai| isakI apekSA to kisI auratako rakha lenA hI acchA hai| antameM maiMne usa auratako rakha liyaa| itanA saba hone para bhI merI dharmase ruci nahIM ghttii| maiMne paMcose bahuta hI anunaya vinaya kiyA ki mahArAja ! dUrase darzana kara lene do| parantu yahI uttara milA ki mArga viparIta ho jaavegaa|' maiMne kahA ki mandirameM musalamAna kArIgara tathA mocI Adi to kAma karane ke lie cale jAveM, jinheM jainadharmakI raMcamAtra bhI zraddhA nahIM, parantu hamako jinendra bhagavAnke darzana dUrase hI prApta na ho sakeM.....balihArI hai ApakI buddhiko / kAmavAsanAke vazIbhUta hokara merI pravRtti usa ora ho gii| isakA yaha artha nahIM ki jainadharmase merI ruci ghaTa gii| kadAcit Apa yaha kaheM ki manakI zuddhi rakkho, darzanase kyA hogaa| to ApakA yaha koI ucita uttara nahIM hai| yadi kevala manakI zuddhipara hI Apa logoMkA vizvAsa hai to zrI jina mandirake darzanoMke lie Apa svayaM kyoM jAte haiM ? tIrthayAtrAke lie vyartha bhramaNa kyoM karate haiM ? aura paJcakalyANakapratiSThA Adi kyoM karavAte haiM ? manakI zuddhi hI saba kucha hai, aisA ekAnta upadeza mata kro| hama bhI jainadharma mAnate haiN| hamane aurata rakha lI, isakA yaha artha nahIM hotA ki hama jainI hI nahIM rhe| hama abhI taka aSTa mUlaguNa pAlate haiM, hamane Ajataka aspatAlakI davAIkA prayoga nahIM kiyA, kisI kudevako nahIM mAnA, anachanA pAnI nahIM piyA, rAtri bhojana nahIM kiyA, pratidina NamokAramantrakI jApa karate haiM, yathAzakti dAna dete haiM tathA siddhakSetra zrI zikharajIkI yAtrA bhI kara Aye haiM.....ityAdi paJcoMse nivedana kiyA, parantu unhoMne eka nahIM sunii| yahI uttara milA ki paMcAyatI sattAkA lopa ho jaavegaa| maiMne kahA-'maiM to akelA hU~, vaha rakhelI aurata mara cukI hai, lar3akI parAye gharakI hai, Apa sahabhojana mata karAiye, parantu darzana to karane diijiye| merA kahanA araNya-rodana huA-kisIne kucha na sunaa| vahI ciraparicita rUkhA uttara milA ki paMcAyatI pratibandha zithila ho jAvegA.....yaha merI AtmakahAnI maiMne kahA-'Apake bhAva sacamuca darzana karaneke haiM ?' usane khaa-haaN| maiM avAka raha gyaa| pazcAt usase kahA-'bhAI sAhaba ! kucha dAna kara sakate ho ?' vaha bolA "jo ApakI AjJA hogI, zirodhArya kruuNgaa| yadi Apa kaheMge to eka laMgoTI lagAkara gharase nikala jaauuNgaa| parantu jinendradevake darzana For Personal & Private Use Only

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patita pAvana jainadharma milanA cAhie, kyoMki yaha paJcama kAla hai| isameM binA avalambanake pariNAmoMkI svacchatA nahIM hotii| Aja kalake logoMkI pravRtti viSayoMmeM lIna ho rahI hai| yadi maiM svayaM viSayameM lIna na huA hotA to inake tiraskAra kA pAtra kyoM hotA ? AzA hai Apa merI prArthanA para dhyAna denekA prayatna kareMge / paJca logoMke jAlameM Akara una jaisI mata golnaa|' maiMne kahA- 'kyA Apa binA kisI zartake saMgamarmarakI vedI mandirameM padharA doge ?' unhoMne kahA- 'hA~, isameM koI zaMkA na kriye| maiM 1000) kI vedI zrIjIke liye mandirameM jar3avA dU~gA aura yadi paJca loga darzanakI AjJA na deMge to bhI koI Apatti na karU~gA / yahI bhAgya samajha~gA ki merA kucha to paisA dharmameM gayA / ' maiMne kahA - 'vizvAsa rakhiye, ApakA abhISTa avazya siddha hogA / ' isake anantara maiMne ghara jAkara sampUrNa paJca mahAzayoMko bulAyA aura kahA ki 'yadi koI jainI jAtise cyuta honeke anantara binA kisI zartake dAna karanA cAhe to Apa loga kyA use le sakate haiM ?' prAyaH sabane svIkAra kiyA / yahA~ prAyaH se matalaba yaha hai ki jo eka do sajjana viruddha the, ve ruSTa hokara cale gye| maiMne kahA - 'amuka vyakti 1000) kI saMgamarmarakI vedikA mandirameM jar3avAnA cAhatA hai, Apako svIkAra hai ?' unakA nAma sunate hI bahuta loga bole- 'vaha to 25 varSase jAticyuta hai, anartha hogA / Apane kahA~kI Apatti hama logoM para DhA dii|' maiMne kahA - 'kucha nahIM gayA, maiMne to sahaja hI meM kahA thA / para jarA vicAra karo - mandirakI zobhA ho jAvegI tathA ekakA uddhAra ho jaavegaa| kyA Apa logoMne dharmakA ThekA le rakkhA hai ki Apake sivAya mandirameM koI dAna na de ske| yadi koI anya matavAlA dAna denA cAhe to Apa na leveMge ! balihArI hai ApakI buddhiko ? are ! zAstrameM to yahA~ taka kathA hai ki zUkara, siMha, nakula aura vAnarase hiMsaka jIva bhI munidAnakI anumodanAse bhogabhUmi gaye, vyAghrIkA jIva svarga gayA, jaTAyu pakSI svarga gayA, bakarekA jIva svarga gayA, cANDAlakA jIva svarga gayA, cAroM gatike jIva samyagdRSTi ho sakate haiM, tiryaJcoMke paJcama guNasthAna taka ho jAtA hai / dharmakA sambandha AtmAse hai, na ki zarIrase / zarIra to sahakArI kAraNa hai / jahA~ AtmAkI pariNati mohAdi pApoM se mukta ho jAtI hai vahIM dharmakA udaya ho jAtA hai| Apa ise vedikA na jar3avAne deveMge, parantu yaha yadi papaurA vidyAlayameM denA cAheMge to kyA Apake varNIjI usa dravyako na leveMge aura yahI dravya kyA Apake bAlakoMke bhojanameM 1 139 For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 140 na AvegA? usa dravyase adhyApakoM ko vetana diyA jAvegA to kyA ve iMkAra kara deveMge ? ataH haThako chor3iye aura dayAkara AjJA dIjiye ki eka hajAra rupayA lekara jayapurase vedI ma~gAI jaave|' sabane saharSa svIkAra kiyA aura vedikA lAne tathA jar3avAnekA bhAra zrImAn motIlAlajI varNIke adhikArameM sauMpA gyaa| phira kyA thA, una jAticyuta mahAzayake harSakA ThikAnA na rhaa| zrI varNIjI jayapura jAkara vedI laaye| mandirameM vidhipUrvaka vedIpratiSThA huI aura usapara zrIpArzvaprabhukI pratimA virAjamAna huii| maiMne paJcamahAzayoMse kahA-'dekho, mandirameM, jaba zUdra taka A sakate haiM aura mAlI rAtri-dina raha sakatA hai taba jisane 1000) diye aura jisake dravyase yaha vedipratiSThA huI usIko darzana na karane diye jAveM, yaha nyAyaviruddha hai| AzA hai hamArI prArthanA para Apa loga dayA kreNge| saba logoMke pariNAmoMmeM na jAne kahA~se nirmalatA A gaI ki sabane use zrI jinendradevake darzanakI AjJA pradAna kara dii| isa AjJAko sunakara vaha to Ananda-samudra meM DUba gyaa| Anandase darzana kara paJcoMse vinayapUrvaka bolA-'uttarAdhikArI na honese mere pAsa kI sampatti rAjyameM calI jAvegI, ataH mujhe jAtimeM milA liyA jaay| aisA honese merI sampattikA kucha sadupayoga ho jaayegaa|' yaha sunakara loga AgababUlA ho gaye aura jhuMjhalAte hue bole-'kahA~ to mandira nahIM A sakate the, aba jAtimeM milAne kA hoMsalA karane lge| a~gulI pakar3akara poMcA pakar3anA cAhate ho?' vaha hAtha jor3akara bolA-'Akhira ApakI jAtikA janmA huuN| kyA jo vastra malina ho jAtA hai use bhaTThImeM dekara ujjavala nahIM kiyA jAtA ? yadi Apa loga patitako pavitra karanekA mArga roka leveMge to ApakI jAti kaise surakSita raha sakegI? maiM to vRddha hU~, mRtyuke gAlameM baiThA huuN| parantu yadi Apa logoMkI yahI nIti rahI to kAlAMtarameM ApakI jAtikA avazyaMbhAvI hAsa hogaa| jahA~ Aya na ho kevala vyaya hI ho vahA~ bhArI khajAnekA astitva nahIM raha sktaa| Apa loga isa bAtapara vicAra kIjie, kevala haThavAditAko chodd'iye|' maiMne bhI usakI bAta-meM-bAta milA dii| paJca logoMne mere Upara bahuta prakopa prakaTa kiyaa| kahane lage ki 'yaha inhIMkA kartavya hai jo Aja isa AdamIko itanA bolanekA sAhasa ho gyaa| maiMne kahA-'bhAI sAhaba ! itane krodha kI AvazyakatA nhiiN| dhotIke nIce saba naMge haiN| Apa loga apane For Personal & Private Use Only

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patita pAvana jainadharma kukRtyoMpara vicAra kIjiye aura phira sthira cittase yaha sociye ki Apa logoMkI niyamahIna paJcAyatane hI Aja jainajAtiko isa dazAmeM lA diyA hai| becAre jainI loga darzana takake lie lAlAyita rahate haiM / kalpanA karo, kisIne dassAke sAtha sambandha kara liyA to isakA kyA artha huA ki vaha jainadharmakI zraddhAse bhI cyuta ho gayA / zraddhA vaha vastu hai jo sahasA nahIM jAtI / zAstroMmeM isake bar3e-bar3e upAkhyAna haiM- bar3e-bar3e pAtakI bhI zraddhAke balase saMsArase pAra ho gye| zrI kundakunda bhagavAnne likhA hai ki 141 'daMsaNabhaTThA bhaTThA daMsaNabhaTThANa Natthi NivvANaM / sijjhati cariyabhaTThA daMsaNabhaTThA Na sijjhati / / ' arthAt jo darzanase bhraSTa haiM ve bhraSTa haiN| jo darzanase bhraSTa haiM ve nirvANake pAtra nahIM / caritrase jo bhraSTa haiM unakA nirvANa (mokSa) ho sakatA hai, parantu jo darzanabhraSTa haiM ve nirvANa lAbhase vaJcita rahate haiM / prathamAnuyogameM aisI bahuta-sI kathAe~ AtI haiM jinameM yaha bAta siddha kI gaI hai ki jo cAritrase girane para bhI samyagdarzanase sahita haiM ve kAlAntarameM cAritrake pAtra ho sakate haiN| jaise mAghanandI munine kumbhakArakI bAlikAke sAtha vivAha kara liyA tathA usake sahavAsameM bahuta kAla bitAyA, bartana AdikA AvA~ lagAkara ghora hiMsA bhI kii| eka dina muni sabhAmeM kisI padArthake vicArameM sandeha huA taba AcAryane kahA isakA yathArtha uttara mAghanandI, jo ki kumbhakArakI bAlikAke sAtha Amoda-pramodameM apanI Ayu bitA rahA hai, de skegaa| eka muni vahA~ pahu~cA, jahA~ ki mAghanandI muni kumbhakArake veSameM ghaTanirmANa kara rahe the aura pahu~cate hI kahA ki 'munisaMghameM jaba isa viSayapara zaMkA uThI taba AcArya mahArAjane yaha kahakara mujhe Apake pAsa bhejA hai ki isakA yathArtha uttara mAghanandI hI de sakate haiN| kRpAkara Apa isakA uttara dIjie / ' ina vAkyoMko sunate hI unake manameM ekadama vizuddhatAkI utpatti ho gaI aura manameM yaha vicAra AyA ki yadyapi maiMne adhamase adhama kArya kiyA hai phira bhI AcArya mahArAja mujhe muni zabdase saMbodhita karate haiM aura mere jJAnakA mAna karate haiM / kahA~ hai merA pIchI- kamaNDalu ? yaha vicAra Ate hI unhoMne Agantuka munise kahA ki maiM isa zaMkAkA uttara vahIM calakara dU~gA aura pIchI-kamaNDalu lekara vanakA mArga liyA / vahA~ prAyazcitta vidhise zuddha hokara punaH munidharmameM dIkSita ho gaye / For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 142 bandhuvara ! itanI kaThoratAkA vyavahAra chodd'iye| gRhastha-avasthAmeM parigrahake sambandhase aneka prakArake pApa hote haiN| sabase mahAn pApa to parigraha hI hai phira bhI zraddhAkI itanI prabala zakti hai ki samantabhadra svAmIne likhA hai 'gRhastho mokSamArgastho nirmoho naiva mohvaan| anagAro gRhI zreyAn nirmoho mohino muneH||' ___ arthAt nirmohI gRhastha mokSamArgameM sthita hai aura mohI muni mokSamArgameM sthita nahIM hai| isase yaha siddha huA ki mohI munikI apekSA moharahita gRhastha uttama hai| yahA~ para moha zabdakA artha mithyAdarzana jAnanA, isIlie AcAryoMne saba pApoMse mahAn pApa mithyAtvako hI mAnA hai| samantabhadra svAmIne aura bhI likhA hai ki ___ 'na hi samyaktvasamaM kiJcittraikAlye trijgtypi| zreyo'zreyazca mithyAtvasamaM naanyttnuubhRtaam|| isakA bhAva yaha hai ki samyagdarzanake sadRza tIna kAla aura tIna jagatmeM koI bhI kalyANa nahIM aura mithyAtvake sadRza koI akalyANa nahIM, arthAt samyaktva AtmAkA vaha pavitra bhAva hai jisake hote hI ananta saMsArakA abhAva ho jAtA hai aura mithyAtva vaha vastu hai jo ananta saMsArakA kAraNa hotA hai, ataH mahAnubhAvo ! mere para nahIM, apane para dayA karo aura ise jAtimeM milAnekI AjJA diijiye|' ina paJca mahAzayoMmeM svarUpacandrajI banapurayA bahuta hI catura puruSa the| ve mujhase bole-'Apane kahA so Agama pramANa to vaisA hI hai, parantu yaha jo zuddhikI prathA calI A rahI hai usakA bhI saMrakSaNa honA caahiye| yadi yaha prathA miTa jAvegI to mahAn anartha hone lgeNge| ataH Apa utAvalI na kIjiye ! zanaiH-zanaiH hI kArya hotA hai| 'kAraja dhIre hota hai kAhe hota adhIra / samaya pAya taruvara phalai ketika sIMco nIra / / ' isaliye merI sammati to yaha hai ki yaha prAnta bharake jainiyoMko sammilita kreN| usa samaya inakA uddhAra ho jaavegaa|' prAntakA nAma sunakara maiM to bhayabhIta ho gayA, kyoMki prAntameM abhI haThavAdI bahuta haiN| parantu lAcAra thA, ataH cupa raha gyaa| ATha dina bAda prAntake do sau AdamI sammilita hue| bhAgyase haThavAdI mahAnubhAva nahIM Aye, ataH paJcAyata honemeM koI bAdhA upasthita nahIM huii| antameM yaha nirNaya huA ki For Personal & Private Use Only

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dUradarzI mUlacandrajI sarrApha 143 yadi yaha do paMgata pakkI aura eka paMgata kaccI rasoIkI deveM tathA 250) papaurA vidyAlayako aura 250) jatArAke mandirako pradAna kareM to jAtimeM milA liye jAveM / maiMne kahA-'aba vilamba mata kIjiye, kala hI inakI paMgata le liijiye| sabane svIkAra kiyaa| dUsare dinase sAnanda paMkti bhojana huA aura 500) daNDake diye gye| usane yaha saba karake paJcoMkI caraNaraja zira para lagAI aura sahasroM dhanyavAda diye| tathA bIsa hajArakI sampatti jo usake pAsa thI, eka jainIkA bAlaka goda lekara usake supurda kara dii|...........is prakAra eka jainakA uddhAra ho gayA aura usakI sampatti rAjyameM jAnese baca gii| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki zuddhike mArgakA lopa nahIM karanA cAhiye tathA itanA kaThora daNDa bhI nahIM denA cAhiye ki jisase bhayabhIta ho koI apane pApoMko vyakta hI na kara ske| isa prakAra usakI zuddhi kara maiM zrIyukta varNIjIke sAtha dehAta meM calA gyaa| aura yathAzakti hama donoMne bahuta sthAnoM para dharma pracAra kiyaa| dUradarzI mUlacandrajI sarrApha kaI sthAnoMmeM ghUmane ke bAda maiM zrIyut sarrApha mUlacandrajI baruAsAgara vAloMke yahA~ calA gyaa| Apa hamase adhika avasthAvAle the, ataH mujhase anujakI taraha sneha karate the| Apake vicAra nirantara prazasta rahate the| Apa baruAsAgarake jamIMdAra the aura nirantara sudhArake pakSapAtI rahate the| Apake grAmameM nandakizora alayA eka vilakSaNa pratibhAzAlI munIma the| ApakA mUlacandrajI sarrAphake sAtha sadA vaimanasya rahatA thaa| Apa nirantara mUlacandrajIko pha~sAnekI tAkameM the, parantu zrI sarrApha itane catura the ki bar3e darogAoMkI caMgulameM nahIM aaye| nandakizora to koI ginatImeM na the| eka bAra nandakizorakI aurata kUpameM girakara mara gyii| Apa daur3akara sarrAphajIke pAsa Aye aura bole 'bhaiyA ! gRhiNI mara gaI kyA karU~ ?' grAmake bAhara kUpa thA, ataH bastImeM hohallA macaneke pahale hI Apa ekadama jainiyoMko lekara kuA para pahuMce aura use nikAlakara zmazAnameM jalA diyaa| bAdameM darogA AyA, parantu taba taka lAza jala cukI thii| kyA hogA ? yaha socakara saba Dara gaye, parantu sarrAphane saba mAmalA zAnta kara diyaa| yahA~ eka bAta aura likhane kI hai vaha yaha ki baruAsAgarameM kAchiyoM kI jamIMdArI hai, bar3e-bar3e dhanADhya haiN| eka kAchI nambaradArake yahA~ eka For Personal & Private Use Only

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144 merI jIvanagAthA musalamAna naukara rahatA thA / kAchIkI auratase kAchI jamIMdArakI kucha lar3AI huii| usane auratako bahuta DA~TA aura krodhameM Akara kahA - 'rAMDa musalamAnake yahA~ calI jA / ' vaha sacamuca calI gaI aura do dina taka usake sahavAsameM rahI AI / isa ghaTanA ke samaya mUlacandrajI jhA~sI gaye the / vahA~se Akara jaba unhoMne yaha sunA ki eka kAchIkI aurata musalamAnake ghara calI gaI taba bar3e duHkhI hue| apane aMgarakSakoMko lekara usa mohallemeM gaye aura grAma-paMcAyata kara usameM usa aurata tathA musalamAnako bulaayaa| Anepara auratase kahA- 'apane ghara A jAo / ' usane kahA - 'hama to musalamAninI ho gaye, kyoMki usakA bhojana kara liyA / ' saba paJca sunakara kahane lage ki aba to yaha jAtimeM nahIM milAI jA sakatI / mUlacandrajIne gaMbhIra bhAvase kahA ki 'Apatti kAla hai ataH ise milAnemeM Apatti nahIM honI cAhiye / ' logoMne kahA- 'pahale gaMgAsnAna karAnA cAhiye aura pazcAt tIrthayAtrA karAnA cAhiye, anyathA saba vyavahArakA lopa ho jaavegaa|' mUlacandrajIne kahA- 'jaba saba loga kramazaH adhaHpatanako prApta ho cukeMge taba vyavahArakA lopa na hogaa| ataH merI to yaha sammatti hai ki ise gaMgA na bhejakara vetravatI bheja diyA jAve, kyoMki vaha yahA~se tIna mIla hai| vahA~se snAna karake A jAve aura isI grAmameM jo ThAkurajIkA maMdira hai usakA darzana kare / pazcAt tulasIdala aura caraNAmRta dekara ise jAtimeM milA liyA jaave|' saba logoMne sarrAphajIkA yaha nirNaya aMgIkRta kiyA / parantu vaha aurata bolI- maiM nahIM AnA caahtii|' mUlacandrajIne kahA- tujhe AnemeM kyA Apatti hai ?' vaha bolI- 'mujhase saba loga ghRNA kareMge, mere hAthakI roTI na khAveMge tathA mujhe dAsI kI taraha rakkheMge aura usa hAlatameM merA jIvana Ajanma duHkhI rahegA, ataH mere sAtha yadi pUrvavat vyavahAra kiyA jAve taba maiM Aneko saharSa prastuta huuN| AzA hai merI namra prArthanApara Apa loga samyak parAmarza kara yahA~se uttheNge|' 1 zrI mUlacandrajIne usake vAkya zravaNa kara eka sAragarbhita bhASaNa diyA / pahale to yaha dohA par3hA 'sakala bhUmi gopAlakI yAmeM aTaka kahA / jAke maname aTaka hai so hI aTaka rahA / / ' phira kahA- 'bandhuoM ! Aja eka hindU strI yadi musalamAnake ghara calI gaI to sarvaprathama vahI zatru hogI, aneka lalanAoMko phusalAvegI aura usakI For Personal & Private Use Only

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dUradarzI mUlacandrajI sarrApha 145 nirantara yahI bhAvanA rahegI ki jisa patine mujhe isa avasthA taka pahu~cAyA hai usakA sarvanAzakA yatna karanemeM maiM saphala hoU~ / upapatikI yaha bhAvanA rahegI ki hindU loga kucha karate to hai nahIM, ataH unakI auratoMko isI taraha phusalAnA caahie| jo isake bAlaka hogA use vaha yahI pATha par3hAvegI ki beTA ! maiM jAtikI hindU hU~, tumhAre amuka pitAne jo abhI taka jIvita hai, mere sAtha aisI nindya kriyA kI ki jisase Aja maiM isa avasthAmeM huuN| jisa mAMsase mujhe svAbhAvika ghRNA thI vaha Aja merA khAdya ho gyaa| jIvadayA jo merI prANa thI vaha naSTa ho gii| Aja jIvoMkA ghAta karanA hI merA jIvana ho gyaa| maiM cIMTI mAranese kA~patI thI, para Aja murgI, murgA, bakarI, bakarA mAranA khela samajhatI huuN| aisA bhAva apane putrAdikako manameM utpanna kara apaneko dhanya smjhegii| ataH isa viSayameM maiM Apa logoMse vizeSa na kaha kara yahI prArthanA karatA hU~ ki ise avilamba jAtimeM milA liyA jaaye|' __zrIyuta sarrAphajIkA vyAkhyAna samApta huaa| bahuta mahAzayoMne usakA samarthana kiyA, bahutoMne anumodana kiyaa| maiMne bhI zrImUlacandrajIkI bAtako puSTa karate hue kahA ki 'bhAI ! yaha saMsAra hai, isameM pApa honA kaThina nahIM, kyoMki yaha saMsAra rAga, dveSa, mohakA to ghara hI hai| kAla pAkara jIvoMkI mati bhraSTa ho jAtI hai aura sudhara bhI jAtI hai| yadi isa saMsArameM sudhArakA mArga na hotA to kisI jIvakI mukti hI na hotI, ataH pApako burA jAna usase ghRNA kIjiye aura yadi koI pApase apanI rakSA karanA cAhe to usakI sahAyatA kiijiye| Apa logoMkA nimitta pAkara yadi eka abalAkA sudhAra hotA hai to usameM Apa logoMko Apatti karanA ucita nahIM, ataH zrI mUlacandrajIke prastAvako sarvAnumatise pAsa kIjiye aura abhI use vetravatImeM snAna karAneke lie bhejie|' isake bAda aura bhI bahutase logoMke sAragarbhita bhASaNa hue| isa prakAra mUlacandrajIkA prastAva svIkRta huaa| prastAvakA rUpa yaha thA-'jo aurata apane gharase patike kaTu zabdoMko sahana na kara musalamAnake ghara calI gaI thI vaha Aja A gii| use hama loga usI jAtimeM milAte haiN| yadi koI manuSya yA strI usake sAtha jAti viruddha vyavahAra karegA to use 100) daNDa tathA eka brAhmaNa bhojana denA hogaa|' da0 sakala paJcAna, baruAsAgara isake bAda use snAnake lie vetravatI bhejA gyaa| vahA~se AI taba ThAkurajIke mandirameM darzanake lie bhejA gyaa| vahA~ para bhagavAnkA caraNAmRta For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 146 aura tulasIdala diyA gyaa| isa prakAra vaha zuddha huii| pazcAt usake dvArA eka ghar3A chanA pAnI ma~gAyA gyaa| loga pInese iMkAra karane lge| mUlacandrajIne kahA-'jo pAnI na pIyegA vaha daNDakA pAtra hogaa| ataH pahale mUlacandrajIne eka glAsa pAnI usake hAthakA piyaa| isake bAda phira kyA thA ? saba paJca logoMne usake hAthakA pAnI piyaa| pazcAt bAjArase per3A lAye gaye aura saba paJcoMne usake hAthake per3A khAye......isa prakAra eka auratakA uddhAra huaa| __ itanA saba ho cukaneke bAda vaha aurata bolI-'mujhe vizvAsa na thA ki mere Upara Apa logoMkI itanI dayA hogii| maiM to patita ho hI cukI thii| Ajake dina zrI sarrAphake prANapana prayatna aura Apa logoMkI nirmala bhAvanAse merA uddhAraho gyaa| bhalA aisA kauna kara sakatA thA ? yadi yahI nyAya kahIM par3he likhe mahAnubhAvoMke hAthameM hotA to merA uddhAra honA asambhava thaa| pahale bhAratavarSameM jahA~ dUdhakI nadiyA~ bahatI thIM vahA~ Aja khUnakI nadiyA~ bahane lgiiN| isakA mUla kAraNa yahI to huA ki hamane patita logoMko apanAyA nhiiN| kintu unako jabaradastI bhraSTa kiyaa| kyA bhAratavarSameM itane musalamAna the ? nahIM, kevala balAtkArase banAye gye| jo bana gaye, hamane unheM zuddha karanese iMkAra kara diyaa| kisI musalamAnane kisI auratake sAtha ha~sI majAka kiyA, hamane usakA pratikrama nahIM kiyaa| parasparameM saMghaTita nahIM rhe| yahI kAraNa hai ki Aja hamArI yaha dazA ho rahI hai| yadi Apa merA uddhAra na karate to maiM vaha prayatna karatI jisase ki mere patikA astitva eka ApattimeM par3a jaataa| maiM jisake yahA~ calI gaI thI usase merA asat sambandha na thA, kintu vaha hamAre ghara para naukara thaa| mere pati jaba bAhara jAte the taba maiM usase bAjArase jisa vastukI AvazyakatA hotI bulA letI thI aura Apa jAnate haiM jahA~ parasparameM saMbhASaNa hotA hai vahA~ hAsyarasakI bAta AjAne para ha~sI bhI A jaatii| aisI svAbhAvika pravRtti manuSya aura striyoMkI hotI hai| kyA isakA artha yaha hai ki hAsya karanevAle asadAcArI ho gye| mA~ apane javAna bAlakake sAtha ha~satI hai, putrI bApake sAtha ha~satI hai, bahina bhAIke sAtha ha~satI hai| para isakA yaha artha koI nahIM letA ki ve asadAcArI haiN| maiM satya kahatI hU~ ki maiMne usake sAtha koI bhI asadAcAra na pahile kiyA thA aura na aba usake ghara rahate hue bhI kiyA hai| phira bhI mere patiko sandeha ho gayA ki yaha durAcAriNI hai aura ekadama mujhe AjJA dI ki tU usIke sAtha calI jaa| maiM bhI krodhake AvezameM For Personal & Private Use Only

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dUradarzI mUlacandrajI sarrApha 147 apaneko nahIM sa~bhAla sakI aura usake sAtha calI gii| kintu, niSpApa thI, ataH Apake dvArA merA uddhAra ho gyaa| maiM Apake upakArako AjIvana na bhuuluuNgii| saMsArameM pApodayake samaya aneka ApattiyA~ AtI haiM, para unakA nivAraNa karanemeM mahApuruSa hI samartha hote haiN|' usake isa kathanake anantara jitane paJca vahA~ upasthita the sabane use niSpApa jAnakara eka svarase dhanyavAda diyA aura usa musalamAnako DA~TA ki tumheM aisI harakata karanA ucita na thaa| yadi tumhArA hama logoMke sAtha aisA vyavahAra rahA to hama loga bhI sikkha nItikA avalambana karanemeM AgA-pIchA na kreNge| __ isa prakArake sudhAraka the zrI srraaphjii| Apase merA hArdika sneha thaa| Apane mere 5000) jamA kara lie, jaba ki maiMne eka paisA bhI nahIM diyA thA aura na mere pAsa thA hii| rupayA kaise arjana kiyA jAtA hai isa viSayameM prArambhase hI mUrkha thaa| eka dinakI bAta hai ki mUlacandrajIkI auratake garbha thaa| saba loga vahA~ para gappASTaka kara rahe the| kisIne kahA-'acchA, batalAo garbhameM kyA hai ?' kisIne kahA-'bAlaka hai| kisIne kahA 'bAlikA hai|' mujhase bhI pUchA gyaa| maiMne kahA-'maiM nahIM jAnatA kyA hai ? kyoMki nimittajJAnase zUnya huuN| athavA usake garbhameM nahIM baiThA hU~ ki A~khase dekhakara batA duuN|' itanA kaha cukane para bhI loga Agraha karate rahe / antatogatvA maiMne bhI anya logoMkI taraha uttara de diyA ki bAlaka hai aura jaba paidA hogA usakA zreyAMsakumAra nAma hogaa| yaha sunakara loga bahuta hI prasanna ho gaye aura usa dinakI pratIkSA karane lge| isa baruAsAgarameM eka dina eka vilakSaNa ghaTanA aura ho gaI jo ki isa prakAra hai-dinake cAra baje maiM jalakA pAtra (loTA) lekara zauca kriyAke liye grAmake bAhara jA rahA thaa| mArgameM bAlaka geMda khela rahe the| unheM dekhakara mere manameM bhI geMda khelanekA bhAva ho gyaa| eka lar3akese maiMne kahA-'bhAI ! hamako bhI daNDA aura geMda do, hama bhI kheleNge|' bAlakane daNDA aura geMda de dii| maiMne daNDA geMdameM mArA, para vaha geMdameM na lagakara pAsa hI khar3e hue brAhmaNake bAlakake netrameM bar3e vegase jA lagA aura usakI A~khase rudhirakI dhArA bahane lgii| yaha dekhakara merI avasthA itanI zokAtura ho gaI ki maiM saba kucha bhUla For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #173
148 merI jIvanagAthA gayA aura loTA lekara bAIjIke pAsa A gyaa| bAIjI kahatI haiM- 'beTA ! kyA huA ?' maiM kucha bhI na bola sakA, kintu rone lgaa| itanemeM eka bAlaka AyA usane saba vRttAnta sunA diyA / bAIjIne kahA- 'aba kyoM rote ho ? jo bhavitavya thA vaha huaa| anadhikAra kArya karanepara yahI hotA hai aba uTho aura sAyaMkAlakA bhojana kro|' maiMne kahA- 'Aja bhojana na karU~gA / ' bAIjI bolI- 'kyA isase usa aparAdhakA pratIkAra ho jAvegA ?' maiM kucha uttara na de skaa| kevala apanI bhUlapara pazcAttApa karatA rahA / jisa bAlakakI A~kha meM coTa lagI thI usakI mA~ bahuta hI ugra prakRtikI thI, ataH nirantara yaha bhaya rahane lagA ki jaba vaha milegI taba pacAsoM gAliyA~ degI / isI bhayase maiM gharase bAhara nahIM nikalatA thA / sUryodayake pahale hI zrI mandirajImeM jAtA thA aura darzanAdi kara zIghra hI vApisa A jAtA thA / eka dina kucha vilambase mandira jA rahA thA, ataH bAlakakI mA~ mArgameM mila gaI aura usane mere paira pdd'e| maiM use dekhakara hI Dara gayA thA aura manameM socane lagA thA ki he bhagavan ! aba kyA hogA ? itanemeM vaha bolI ki Apane mere bAlakakA mahopakAra kiyaa| maiMne kahA - 'satya kahiye, bAlakakI A~kha to nahIM phUTa gaI ?' usane kahA- 'A~kha to nahIM phUTI, parantu usakA aMkhasUra, jo ki aneka auSadhiyA~ karane para bhI acchA na hotA thA, khUna nikala jAnese ekadama acchA ho gayA / Apa nizcinta rahiye, bhaya na kariye, Apako gAlIke badale dhanyavAda detI hU~ / parantu eka bAta kahatI hU~ vaha yaha ki ApakA daNDAghAta ghuNAkSaranyAyase auSadhikA kAma kara gayA so ThIka hai, parantu Aindaha aisI kriyA na karanA / ' maiM mana hI mana vicArane lagA ki udaya bar3I vastu hai, anyathA aisI ghaTanA kaise ho sakatI hai| zaMkita saMsAra kucha dina baruAsAgara raha kara hama aura bAIjI sAgara cale gaye aura sAgara vidyAlayake liye dravya saMgrahakA yatna karane lage / bhAgyavaza yahA~para bhI eka durghaTanA ho gii| mere khAnemeM jo zAka va phala Ate the, maiM svayaM jAkara unheM cuna-cunakara lAtA thaa| eka dinakI bAta hai ki nasIvana kUMjar3IkI dukAnapara eka mahAzaya chItAphala (zarIphA) kharIda rahe the| zarIphA do itane bar3e the ki unakA vajana For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #174
zaMkita saMsAra I eka sera hogaa| unakI kImata kUMjar3I eka rupayA mA~gatI thI / unhoMne bAraha AnA taka khaa| merA mana bhI una zarIphoMke liye lalacAyA, parantu jaba eka mahAzaya le rahe the taba merA kucha bolanA sabhyatAke viruddha hotA / antameM unhoMne caudaha AnA taka mUlya denA kahA, parantu kUMjar3Ine kahA ki eka rupayese kama na lU~gI, Apa vyartha samaya mata khoiye / Akhira jaba ve nirAza hokara jAne lage taba maiMne zIghra hI eka rupayA kUMjar3Ike hAtha de diyA aura vaha zarIphA mere jholemeM DAlaneko udyata huI ki vahI mahAzaya punaH lauTakara kahane lage- 'acchA pA~ca rupayA le lo|' usane kahA - 'nahIM aba to ve bika gaye, lenevAlese Apa bAta kriye|' una mahAzayane dasakA noTa kUMjar3Iko batalAyA / vaha bolI'mahAzaya Apa mahAjana haiM, kyA vyApArakI yahI nIti hai ?' antameM unhoMne kahA- 'acchA sau rupaye le lo, parantu zarIphA hama hI ko do / ' kUMjar3I bolI- 'Apa mahAjana hokara isa tarahakI bAta karate ho| kyA isI taraha kI dhoMkhebAjIse paisA paidA karate ho ?' bhaDuvekA bhaDuvA ! usa samaya yaha mu~ha kahA~ calA gayA thA / usa samaya to eka rupayA deneko banda thA, aba sau rupayA dikhalAtA hai| lAnata hai tere rupayoMko, tu manuSya nahIM, haTa merI dukAnase / ' 149 maiMne kahA - 'itanI beijjatI karanA acchA nahIM / Akhira ye mahAjana haiM aura tuma zAka becanevAlI hI ho / ' vaha bolI- yaha ziSTatAkA vyavahAra jAne dIjiye / nyAyase bAta kriye| hama bhI manuSya haiM, pazu nhiiN| kaunasI beijjatI isakI huI / balki isako zarama AnI cAhiye / yadi maiM isa kSudra manuSyake lobhameM A jAtI to Apa hI kahate ki ye zAka becanevAle bar3e beImAna hote haiM, kyoMki ye lobhameM Akara jabAna palaTa jAte haiN| maiM Apako vizvAsa dilAtI hU~ ki isa kAlameM choTI jAtivAle aura choTe dhandhevAle pApake kAryoMse bhayabhIta rahate haiM, parantu ye bar3e loga pApoMse nahIM Darate / ye loga jo dAna karate haiM vaha pApoMko chipAneke liye hI karate haiN| maiM ina logoMke lobhakI kahAnI sunAU~ to Apako zarmindA honA pdd'egaa| Apane svayaM ijjata bacAneke khyAlase eka auratake doSako chipAyA / samajhe yA nahIM ? anyathA suno, kala hI kI to bAta hai- merI dUkAnase jo tIsare nambarakI dUkAna hai vahA~ para eka strI nIMbU kharIda rahI thI / sau tolA sonA usake badana para thaa| do paisAke nIMbU usane kharIde - pA~ca aaye| unheM chA~Tane lagI aura chA~Tate-chA~Tate usane pA~ca nIMbU bagalameM colI dAmanameM chipA liye| Apane yaha kissA dekhA to Apane usa For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #175
150 merI jIvanagAthA kUMjaDIko cAra AnA dekara usake bAkI nIMbU ekadama apane jholemeM DAla liye / vahA~ ApakA yahI abhiprAya rahA hogA ki yadi kUMjar3Ine corIkA mAmalA jAna liyA to isa bar3e gharakI aurata kI ijjatameM baTTA lgegaa| maiM apanI dukAnase yaha saba dekha rahI thI / mere manameM AyA ki isa gupta rahasyako prakaTa kara dU~, parantu phira manameM rahama A gayA ki jAne do| parantu Apa hRdayase kahiye ki yadi koI anAtha yA daridra aurata hotI to kyA Apa yaha dayA dikhAte ? nahIM, jarA vicArase kAma lIjiye, pApa cAhe bar3A manuSya kare, cAhe choTA | pApa to pApa hI rahegA, usakA daNDa una donoM ko samAna hI milanA caahiye| aisA na honese hI saMsArameM Aja paMcAyatI sattAkA lopa ho gayA hai| bar3e AdamI cAhe jo kareM, unake doSako chipAnekI ceSTA kI jAtI hai aura garIboMko pUrA daNDa diyA jAtA hai .. ..yaha kyA nyAya hai ? dekho, bar3A vahI kahalAtA hai jo samadarzI ho / sUryakI rozanI cAhe daridra ho, cAhe amIra donoMke gharoMpara samAna rUpase paDatI hai, ataH Apa isakI pratiSThA nahIM rakha skte| yaha apane lobhase svayaM patita hai / ' vaha mahAzaya lajjAse namrIbhUta ho gye| maiMne unase kahA ki 'yaha zarIphA lete jAiye, parantu vaha nIce netra karake kucha na bole aura apane ghara cale gaye / antameM kUMjar3I bolI- 'dekho, manuSya vahI hai jo acchA vyavahAra kare / hamArA pezA zAka becanekA hai, hama bAta - bAtameM gAlI detI haiN| yadi ATha AnA vastukA bhAva ho aura koI cAra AnemeM mA~ge taba bhI hama vastu de detI haiM, parantu detI haiM AdhA ser| tarAjU para bA~Ta eka serakA DAlatI haiM, parantu cAlAkI se mAla AdhA sera hI car3hAtI haiM / yadi vaha dekha letA hai aura kucha kahatA hai - kama kyoM taulatI hai ? to paccIsoM gAliyA~ sunAtI haiM aura yaha uttara detI haiM ki bhaDuvekA bhaDuA ! rupayekA mAla ATha AnemeM lenA cAhatA hai| khaira, parantu jo acche AdamI hote haiM unake sAtha hamArA bhalA vyavahAra hotA hai| Apake vyavahArase maiM khuza hU~ / ApakI dukAna hai| Apako uttamase uttama zAka duuNgii| Apa aba anya dukAnapara mata jAnA / ' maiM pratidina usIkI dukAnase zAka lene lagA, parantu saMsAra sabako pApamaya dekhatA hai| vaha mere isa kAryameM nAnA prakArake sandeha karane lgaa| para maiM antaraMgase aisA nahIM thA ! mAnasika pariNAmoMkI gati to atyanta sUkSma hai, kintu kAya aura vacanase kabhI bhI maiMne usake sAtha anyathA bhAva nahIM kiyA aura na buddhi pUrvaka manameM usake prati mere vikRta pariNAma hue| parantu aisA niyama hai ki yadi kalArakI dukAnapara koI paisA bha~jAneke liye bhI jAve to For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #176
nivRttikI ora 151 loga aisA sandeha karane lagate haiM ki isane madya piyA hogaa| ThIka yahI gati hamArI huii| usa samaya maiM uttama vastra rakhatA thaa| bar3e bAla the, bAloMmeM ATha rupaye seravAlA camelIkA tela DAlatA thA, eka varSameM 12 dhotI jor3e badalatA thaa| isa taraha jahA~ taka banatA zarIrako sa~bhAlanemeM kasara nahIM rakhatA thaa| parantu yaha saba honepara bhI merI pApamaya pravRtti svapnameM bhI nahIM hotI thii| __ adhikAMza logoMke kAna hote haiM, A~kha nahIM hotii| ataH usake yahA~ zAka lenese maiM logoMkI dRSTimeM Ane lgaa| isakA merI AtmA para gaharA prabhAva pdd'aa| eka dina chedIlAlajIke bAgameM saba jainiyoMkA bhojana thaa| maiMne vahIM sabake samakSa isa bAtakA spaSTIkaraNa kara yaha nizcaya kiyA ki maiM Ajase hI brahmacarya pratimAkA pAlana kruuNgaa| hamAre paramaM snehI zrI bAlacandrajI savAlanavIsa bhI vahIM baiThe the| unhoMne bahuta samajhAyA aura kahA ki 'tuma vrata to pAlate hI ho, ataH kucha samaya aura tthhro| caraNAnuyogakI paddhatise vratakA pAlana karanA kaThina hai| abhI caraNAnuyogakA abhyAsa karo aura yadi pratimA lenekI hI abhilASA hai to pahale vratapratimAkA abhyAsa kro| usameM pA~ca aNuvrata aura sAta zIla vrata haiN| jaba yaha bAraha vrata nirvighna yathAyogya palane lageM taba saptamI-brahmacarya pratimA le lenaa| AvegameM Akara zIghratAse kArya karanA uttara kAlameM duHkhakA kAraNa ho jAtA hai| hama acchI taraha jAnate haiM ki Apa niSkalaMka haiM, kintu lokake bhayase ApakI pravRtti vrata lenemeM ho gii| abhI ApakI pravRtti ekadama svacchanda rhii| isa vratake lete hI yaha saba ADambara chUTa jaavegaa| ApakA jo bhojana hai vaha sAmAnya nahIM, vaha bhI chUTa jaavegaa| dhobIse vastra nahIM dhUlA sakoge, yaha camelIkA tela aura ve bar3e-bar3e bAla Adi saba upadrava chor3ane pdd'egeN| parantu maiMne eka na sunI aura vahA~se Akara mere pAsa jo bhI bAhya sAmagrI thI saba vitaraNa kara dI aura yaha niyama kiyA ki kisI tyAgI mahAzayake samIpa isa vratako niyamapUrvaka aMgIkAra kruuNgaa| parantu abhyAsa abhIse karatA huuN| nivRttikI ora vIranirvANa saM0 2436 aura vi0saM0 1666 kI bAta hai, rAtriko jaba sone lagA taba zrIbAlacandrajIne kahA-'yaha nivArakA palaMga aba mata bichAo, aba to kAThake takhtApara sonA pdd'egaa|' maiMne kahA-'isako maiMne bar3e snehase banavAyA thaa| paccIsa rupayA to isake banavAne meM lage the| kyA ise bhI tyAganA For Personal & Private Use Only

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152 merI jIvanagAthA hogA ?' unhoMne dRr3hatAke sAtha kahA- 'hA~, tyAganA hogaa|' maiMne utsAhake sAtha kahA- 'acchA tyAgatA huuN|' jamInapara sonekI Adata na thI, parantu jaba palaMgakI AzA jAtI rahI taba anAyAsa bhUzayyA honepara bhI nidrA sukhapUrvaka A gii| prAtaHkAla zrIjinendradevake darzana kara zrI bAlacandrajIse pratimAke svarUpakA nirNaya karane lagA / bAIjI bhI vahIM baiThI thIM, kahane lagIM- 'pratimAke svarUpakA nirNaya to ho jAvegA / caraNAnuyogake pratyeka granthameM likhA hai ratnakaraNDazrAvakAcArameM dekha lo, kintu sAtha hI apanI zaktiko bhI dekha lo / tathA dravya, kSetra, kAla, bhAvako dekho| sarvaprathama apane pariNAmoMkI jAtiko pahicAno / jo vrata lo use maraNa paryanta pAlana karo / aneka saMkaTa Ane para bhI usakA nirvAha kro| jainadharmakI yaha maryAdA hai ki vrata lenA, parantu use bhaMga na karanA / vrata na lenA pApa nahIM, parantu lekara bhaMga karanA mahApApa hai / 1 jainadarzanameM to sarva prathama sthAna zraddhAko prApta hai / isIkA nAma samyagdarzana hai| yadi yaha nahIM huA to vrata lenA nIvake binA mahala banAneke sadRza hai| isake hote hI saba vratoMkI zobhA hai / samyagdarzana AtmAkA vaha guNa hai jisakA ki vikAsa hote hI ananta saMsArakA bandhana chUTa jAtA hai / AThoM karmoMse sabakI rakSA karanevAlA yahI hai / yaha eka aisA zUra hai ki apanI rakSA karatA hai aura zeSa guNoMkI karmoMse bhI / samyagdarzanakA lakSaNa AcAryoMne tattvArthazraddhAna likhA hai / jaisA ki dazAdhyAya tattvArthasUtrake prathama adhyAyameM AcArya umAsvAmIne likhA hai ki- 'tattvArthazraddhAnaM samyagdarzanam / ' zrI nemicandra svAmIne dravyasaMgrahameM likhA hai ki- 'jIvAdisaddahaNaM sammattaM / ' yahI samayasArameM likhA hai / tathA aisA hI lakSaNa pratyeka granthameM milatA hai / parantu paJcAdhyAyIkarttAne eka vilakSaNa bAta likhI hai / vaha likhate haiM ki yaha saba to jJAnakI paryAya haiN| samyagdarzana AtmAkA anirvacanIya guNa hai| jisake honepara jIvoMke tattvArthakA parijJAna apane Apa ho jAtA hai vaha AtmAkA pariNAma samyagdarzana kahalAtA hai / jJAnAvaraNa karmakA kSayopazama AtmAmeM sadA vidyamAna rahatA hai / saMjJI jIvake aura bhI viziSTa kSayopazama rahatA hai / samyagdarzana ke hote hI vahI jJAna samyagvyapadezako pA jAtA hai| puruSArthasiddhyupAyameM zrIamRtacandrAcAryane bhI likhA hai ki 'jIvAjIvAdInAM tattvArthAnAM sadaiva kartavyam / zraddhAnaM viparItAbhinivezaviviktamAtmarUpaM tat / / ' For Personal & Private Use Only

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nivRttikI ora 153 arthAt jIvAjIvAdi sapta padArthoM kA viparita abhiprAyase rahita sadaiva zraddhAna karanA cAhiye....isIkA nAma samyagdarzana hai| yaha samyagdarzana hI AtmAkA pAramArthika rUpa hai| isakA tAtparya yaha hai ki isake binA AtmA ananta saMsArakA pAtra rahatA hai| vaha guNa atisUkSma hai| kevala kAryase hI hama usakA anumAna karate haiN| jaise agnikI dAhakatva zaktikA hameM pratyakSa nahIM hotaa| kevala usake jvalana kAryase hI usakA anumAna karate haiN| athavA jaise madirA pAna karanevAlA unmatta hokara nAnA kuceSTAe~ karatA hai, para jaba madirAkA nazA utara jAtA hai taba usakI dazA zAnta ho jAtI hai| usakI vaha dazA usIke anubhavagamya hotI hai| darzaka kevala anumAnase jAna sakate haiM ki isakA nazA utara gyaa| madirAmeM unmatta karanekI zakti hai, para hameM usakA pratyakSa nahIM hotaa| vaha apane kAryase hI anumita hotI hai| athavA jisa prakAra sUryodaya honepara saba dizAe~ nirmala ho jAtI haiM usI prakAra mithyAdarzanake jAnese AtmAkA abhiprAya saba prakArase nirmala ho jAtA hai| usakA pratyakSa mati-zruta tathA dezAvadhi-jJAniyoM ke nahIM hotA, kintu paramAvadhi, sarvAvadhi, manaHparyayajJAna aura kevalajJAnase yukta jIvoMke hI hotA hai| unakI kathA karanA hI hameM AtA hai, kyoMki unakI mahimAkA yathArtha AbhAsa honA kaThina hai| bAta hama apane jJAnakI karate haiN| vahI jJAna hameM kalyANake mArgameM le jAtA hai| vastutaH AtmAmeM acintya zakti hai aura usakA patA hameM svayameva hotA hai| samyagdarzana guNakA pratyakSa hameM na ho, parantu usake hote hI hamArI AtmAmeM jo vizadatAkA udaya hotA hai vaha to hamAre pratyakSakA viSaya hai| yaha samyagdarzanakI hI adbhuta mahimA hai ki hama loga binA kisI zikSaka va upadezake udAsIna ho jAte haiN| jina viSayoMmeM itane adhika tallIna the ki jinake binA hameM caina hI nahIM par3atA thA, samyagdarzanake honepara unakI ekadama upekSA kara dete haiN| ___ isa samyagdarzanake hote hI hamArI pravRtti ekadama pUrvase pazcima ho jAtI hai| prazama, saMvega, anukampA aura AstikyakA AvirbhAva ho jAtA hai| zrIpaJcAdhyAyIkArane prazama guNakA yaha lakSaNa mAnA hai "prazamo viSayeSUccai vakrodhAdikeSu c| lokAsaMkhyAtamAtreSu svarUpAcchithilaM manaH / / arthAt asaMkhyAta lokapramANa jo kaSAya aura viSaya haiM unameM svabhAvase hI manakA zithila ho jAnA prazama hai| isakA yaha tAtparya hai ki AtmA anAdi For Personal & Private Use Only

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154 merI jIvanagAthA kAlase ajJAnake vazIbhUta ho rahA hai aura ajJAnameM AtmA tathA parakA bhedajJAna na honese paryAyameM nijatvakI kalpanA kara usIkI rakSAke prayatnameM sadA tallIna rahatA hai / para usakI rakSAkA kucha bhI anya upAya isake jJAnameM nahIM AtA / kevala paJcendriyoMke dvArA sparza, rasa, gandha, varNa evaM zabdako grahaNa karanA hI ise sUjhatA hai / prANImAtra hI isI upAyakA avalambana kara jagat meM apanI Ayu pUrNa kara rahe haiN| jaba baccA paidA hotA hai taba mA~ ke stanako cUsane lagatA hai| isakA mUla kAraNa yaha hai ki anAdi kAlase isa jIvake cAra saMjJAe~ laga rahI haiM unameM eka AhAra saMjJA bhI hai| usake binA isakA jIvana rahanA asaMbhava hai / kevala vigrahagatike tIna samaya chor3akara sarvadA AhAravargaNAke paramANuoMko grahaNa karatA rahatA hai| anya kathA kahA~ taka kaheM ? isa AhArakI pIr3A jaba asahya ho uThatI hai taba sarpiNI apane baccoMko Apa hI khA jAtI hai| pazuoMkI kathA chor3iye jaba durbhikSa par3atA hai taba mAtA apane bAlakoMko becakara khA jAtI hai| yahA~ taka dekhA gayA hai ki kUr3AgharameM par3A huA dAnA cuna-cuna kara manuSya khA jAte haiN| yaha eka aisI saMjJA hai ki jisase prerita hokara manuSya anartha kArya karane ko pravRtta ho jAtA hai| isa kSudhAke samAna anya doSa saMsArameM nahIM / kahA bhI hai- 'saba doSana mA~hI yA sama naahiiN|' isakI pUrtike lie lAkhoM manuSya sainika ho jAte haiN| jo bhI pApa ho isa AhArake liye manuSya kara letA hai| isakA mUla kAraNa ajJAna hI hai| zarIrameM nijatva buddhi hI ina upadravoMkI jar3a hai| jaba zarIrako nija mAna liyA taba usakI rakSA karanA hamArA karttavya ho jAtA hai aura jaba taka yaha ajJAna hai tabhI taka hama saMsArake pAtra haiM ? yaha ajJAna kaba taka rahegA isapara zrIkundakunda mahArAjane acchA prabhAva DAlA hai 'kamme Nokammamhi ya ahamidi ahakaM ca kamma NokammaM / jA esA khalu buddhI appaDibuddho havadi taav|' bhAvArtha- jaba taka jJAnAvaraNAdi karmoM aura audArikAdi zarIrameM AtmIya buddhi hotI hai aura AtmAmeM jJAnAvaraNAdika karma tathA zarIrakI buddhi hotI hai arthAt jaba taka jIva aisA mAnatA hai ki mere jJAnAvaraNAdika karma aura zarIra hai tathA maiM inakA svAmI hU~ taba taka yaha jIva ajJAnI hai aura tabhI taka apratibuddha hai / yadi zarIrameM ahambuddhi miTa jAve to AhArakI AvazyakatA na rahe / jaba zarIrakI zakti nirbala hotI hai tabhI AtmAmeM AhAra grahaNa karanekI icchA hotI hai / yadyapi zarIra pudgalapiNDa hai tathApi usakA AtmAke sAtha For Personal & Private Use Only

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nivRttikI ora 155 samparka hai aura isalie usakI utpatti do vijAtIya dravyoMke samparkase hotI hai| para yaha nizcaya hai ki zarIrakA upAdAna kAraNa pudgala dravya hI hai, AtmA nhiiN| ina donoMkA yaha sambandha anAdi kAlase calA AtA hai| isIse ajJAnI jIva donoMko eka mAna baiThatA hai| zarIrako nija mAnane lagatA hai| usa zarIrako sthira rakhaneke lie jIvake AhAra grahaNakI icchA hotI hai aura usase AhAra grahaNa karaneke lie rasanA indriyake dvArA rasako grahaNa karatA hai| grahaNa karanemeM praveza-prakampana hotA hai| usase hastake dvArA grAsa grahaNa karatA hai| jaba grAsake rasakA rasanA iMdriyake sAtha sambandha hotA hai taba use svAda AtA hai| yadi anukUla huA to prasannatApUrvaka grahaNa karatA jAtA hai| grahaNakA artha yaha hai ki rasanA indriyake dvArA rasakA jJAna hotA hai| isakA yaha artha nahIM ki jJAna rasamaya ho jAtA ho / yadi rasarUpa ho jAtA to AtmA jar3a hI bana jaataa| isa viSayaka jJAna hote hI jo rasagrahaNakI icchA uThI thI vaha zAnta ho jAtI hai aura icchAke zAnta honese AtmA sukhI ho jAtA hai| sukhakA bAdhaka hai duHkha, aura duHkha hai AkulatAmaya / AkulatAkI jananI icchA hai, ataH jaba icchAke anukUla viSayakI pUrti ho jAtI hai taba icchA svayameva zAnta ho jAtI hai| isI prakAra saba vyavasthA jAnanA caahie| jaba-jaba zarIra niHzakti hotA hai taba-taba AhArAdikI icchA utpanna hotI hai| icchAke udayameM AhAra grahaNa karatA hai aura AhAra grahaNa karaneke anantara AkulatA zAnta ho jAtI hai.........isa prakAra yaha cakra barAbara calA jAtA hai aura taba taka zAnta nahIM hotA jaba taka ki bhedajJAnake dvArA nijakA paricaya nahIM ho jaataa| isI prakAra isake bhaya hotA hai| yathArthameM AtmA to ajara-amara hai, jJAna guNakA dhArI hai, aura isa zarIrase bhinna hai| phira bhayakA kyA kAraNa hai ? yahA~ bhI vahI bAta hai| arthAt mithyAtvake udayase yaha jIva zarIrako apanA mAnatA hai, ataeva usake vinAzake jahA~ kAraNakaTa ikaTThe hue vahIM bhayabhIta ho jAtA hai| yadi zarIrameM abhedabuddhi na hotI to bhaya ke lie sthAna hI na milatA / yahI kAraNa hai ki zarIra nAzake kAraNoMkA samAgama hone para yaha jIva nirantara duHkhI rahatA hai| vaha bhaya sAta prakArakA hotA hai-1. ihaloka bhaya, 2. paraloka bhaya, 3. vedanA bhaya, 4. asurakSA bhaya, 5. agupti bhaya, 6. Akasmika bhaya aura 7. maraNa bhaya ! inakA saMkSipta svarUpa yaha hai-isa lokakA bhaya to sarvAnubhavagamya hai, ataH usake kahanekI AvazyakatA nhiiN| paralokakA bhaya yaha hai ki jaba yaha For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 156 paryAya chUTatI hai taba yahI kalpanA hotI hai ki svargalokameM janma ho to bhadra-bhalA hai| durgatimeM janma na ho, anyathA nAnA duHkhoMkA pAtra honA pdd'egaa| isI prakAra merA koI trAtA nahIM, asAtAke udayameM nAnA prakArakI vedanAe~ hotI haiM, yaha vedanA bhaya hai| koI trAtA nahIM, kisakI zaraNameM jAU~, yaha azaraNa-asurakSAkA bhaya hai| koI goptA nahIM, yahI agupti bhaya hai| Akasmika vajrapAtAdika na ho jAve, yaha Akasmika bhaya hai aura maraNa na ho jAve, yaha mRtyukA bhaya hai|..... ina sapta bhayoMse yaha jIva nirantara duHkhI rahatA hai| bhayake hone para usase bacanekI icchA hotI hai aura usase jIvana nirantara Akulita rahatA hai| isa taraha yaha bhaya saMjJA anAdikAlase jIvoMke sAtha calI A rahI hai| isI prakAra jaba vedakA udaya hotA hai taba maithuna saMjJAke vazIbhUta hokara yaha jIva atyanta duHkhI hotA hai| puruSavedake udayameM strI-ramaNakI vAJchA hotI hai| strIvedake udayameM puruSake sAtha ramaNakI icchA hotI hai| isa prakAra isa saMjJAse saMsArI jIva nirantara becaina rahatA hai| ___ yadyapi AtmAkA svabhAva ina vikAroMse alipta hai tathApi anAdi kAlase mithyAjJAnake vazIbhUta hokara inhImeM caina mAna rahA hai| isake vaibhavake sAmane bar3e-bar3e padavIdhara nata mastaka ho gye| rAvaNa kitanA vivekI jIva thA, parantu isake cakrameM par3akara asahya vedanAoMkA pAtra huaa| bhartRharine ThIka hI kahA hai 'mattebhakumbhadalane bhuvi santi zUrAH kecitpracaNDamRgarAjavadhe'pi dakSAH / kintu bravImi balinAM purataH prasahya kandarpadarpadalane biralA manuSyAH / / ' isakA artha yaha hai ki isa pRthvIpara kitane hI aise manuSya haiM jo madonmatta hAthiyoMke gaNDasthala vidAranemeM zUravIra hai aura kitane hI balavAn siMhake mAranemeM bhI samartha haiN| kintu maiM bar3e-bar3e balazAlI manuSyoM ke sAmane jora dekara kahatA hU~ ki kAmadevake darpako dalanemeM-khaNDita karanemeM virale hI manuSya samartha haiN| isa kAmadevakI viDambanAke viSayameM unhIM bhartRharine eka jagaha kitanA sundara kahA hai__'yAM cintayAmi satataM mayi sA viraktA sApyanyamicchati janaM sa jano'nyasaktaH / For Personal & Private Use Only

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nivRttikI ora 157 asmatkRte ca parituSyati kAcidanyA dhiktAM ca taM ca madanaM ca imAM ca mAM ca / / ' isakA spaSTa artha yaha hai-eka samaya eka banapAlane amRtaphala lAkara mahArAja bhartRhariko bheMTa kiyaa| mahArAja una banapAlase pUchate haiM ki 'isa phalameM kyA guNa haiM ?' banapAla uttara detA hai-'mahArAja ! ise khAnevAlA sadA taruNa avasthAse sampanna rhegaa| rAjAne apane manase parAmarza kiyA ki yaha phala kisa upayogameM lAnA cAhie ? mana uttara detA hai ki Apako sabase priya dharmapatnI hai, use denA acchA hogA, kyoMki usake taruNa rahanese ApakI viSaya-pipAsA nirantara pUrNa hotI rhegii| saMsArameM isase utkRSTa sukha nhiiN| mokSa-sukha Agama-pratipAdya kalpanA hai, para viSayasukha to pratyekakI anubhUtikA viSaya hai| rAjAne manakI sammatyanusAra mahArAnIko bulAkara vaha phala de diyaa| rAnIne kahA-'mahArAja hama to ApakI dAsI haiM aura Apa karuNAnidhAna jagatake svAmI haiM, ataH yaha phala Apake hI yogya hai| hama saba ApakI sundaratAke bhikhArI haiM, ataH isakA upayoga Apa hI kIjie aura merI namra prArthanAkI avahelanA na kiijie|' rAjA ina vAkyoMko zravaNa kara atyanta prasanna hue| parantu isa gupta rahasyako aNumAtra bhI nahIM samajhe, kyoMki kAmI manuSya heyAheyake vivekase zUnya rahate hI haiN| rAnIke manameM kucha aura thA aura vacanoMse kucha aura hI kaha rahI thii| kisIne ThIka kahA hai ki 'mAyAvI manuSyoM ke bhAvako jAnanA sarala bAta nhiiN|' __rAjAne bar3e Agrahake sAtha vaha phala rAnIko de diyaa| rAnI use pAkara manameM bahuta prasanna huii| rAnIkA koTapAlake sAtha gupta sambandha honeke kAraNa adhika prema thA, isalie usane vaha phala koTapAlako de diyaa| koTapAlane kahA-'mahArAnI hama to Apake bhRtya haiM, ataH Apa hI upayogameM laaveN|' para rAnIne eka na sunI aura vaha phala use de diyaa| koTapAlakA atyanta sneha eka vezyAke sAtha thA, ataH usane vaha phala vezyAko de diyaa| usa vezyAkA atyanta sneha rAjAse thA, ataH usane vaha phala rAjAko de diyaa| phala hAthameM Ate hI mahArAjAkI A~kheM khulii| unhoMne vezyAse pUchA ki satya kaho yaha phala kahA~se AyA ? anyathA zUlIkA daNDa diyA jaayegaa| vezyA kampita svarameM bolI-'mahArAja ! aparAdha kSamA kiyA jaave| ApakA jo nagarakoTapAla hai usakA mere sAtha atyanta sneha hai, usIne mujhe yaha phala diyA hai| usake pAsa kahA~se AyA, yaha vaha jaane| usI samaya For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 158 koTapAla bulAyA gyaa| rAjAne usase kahA ki yaha phala tumane vezyAko diyA hai ?' koTapAla bolA-'hA~, mahArAja ! diyA hai|' rAjAne phira pUchA-'tumane kahA~se pAyA ?' saca-saca kaho, anyathA dezaniSkAsana daNDake pAtra hoge|' koTapAlane kampita svarameM kahA-'annadAtA ! aparAdha kSamA kiyA jAya' ApakI mahArAnIkA mere sAtha ghaniSTha sambandha hai| unhoMne mujhe yaha phala diyA hai| unake pAsa kahA~se AyA, yaha maiM nahIM jaantaa| dAsIko AjJA huI ki isI samaya mahArAnIko laao| dAsI jAtI hai aura mahArAjakA sandeza sunAtI hai| rAnI ekadama bhayabhIta ho jAtI hai, parantu mahArAjakI AjJA thI, ataH zIghratA se darabArameM jAtI hai| mahArAjane prazna kiyA ki 'yaha phala tumane koTapAlako diyA hai ? rAnI bolI-'haoN, mahArAja diyA hai, kyoMki ApakI apekSA merA koTapAlase adhika sneha hai, yaha bhI dabI jabAnase kahatI huuN| saca pUchiye to Apase merA aNumAtra bhI sneha nahIM hai| merA solaha AnA sneha koTapAlase hai| Apako to maiM bAdhaka hI samajhatI huuN| aba ApakI jo icchA ho, so kIjiye / tathya bAta jo thI vaha Apake samakSa rakha dii| yaha kyoM ? isakA mere pAsa koI uttara nhiiN| agni garma hotI hai, jala ThaNDA hotA hai, nIma kar3avA hotA hai aura sA~TA mIThA hotA hai, isameM koI prazna kare to usakA uttara yahI hai ki prakRtikA aisA hI pariNamana hai| hama saMsArI AtmA haiM, rAgAdise lipta haiN| jo hamArI rucike anukUla huA usIko iSTa mAnate haiN| rAjA sunakara khAmoza rahe aura bole-'bahuta tthiik| usI samayakA yaha zloka hai-'yAM cintayAmi satataM' arthAt jisa rAnIko maiM rAtridina cintanA karatA hU~ vaha rAnI mujhase virakta hokara anyameM Asakta hai aura vaha puruSa bhI anya vezyAmeM Asakta hai evaM vaha vezyA bhI mujhameM Asakta hai, ataH usa vezyAko dhikkAra ho, usa koTapAlako dhikkAra ho, madanako dhikkAra ho, isa merI rAnIko dhikkAra ho aura mujhako dhikkAra ho| jisane aisA manuSya janma pAkara yoM hI viSayoMmeM gamA diyA..... ityAdi vicAra kara rAjAne rAjya chor3a sAdhu veSadhAraNa kara liyaa| isI viSayakA eka aura bhI upAkhyAna prasiddha hai| eka lekhakane eka pustaka racakara usake Upara yaha vAkya likhA ___'balavAnindriyagrAmo vidvAnsamapakarSati' arthAt indriyoMkA samUha itanA balavAn hai ki vaha bar3e-bar3e vidvAnoMko For Personal & Private Use Only

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nivRttikI ora 159 bhI AkarSita kara letA hai-unake cittako vihala banA detA hai| eka bAra vaha lekhaka grAmAntara jA rahA thaa| araNyameM eka sAdhu milaa| lekhakane sAdhuko praNAma kara apanI pustaka dikhlaaii| jyoM hI sAdhukI dRSTi pustakake Upara likhe hue 'balavAnindriyagrAmo vidvAnsamapakarSati' vAkya para par3I, tyoM hI vaha cauMkakara bole-'beTA ! yaha kyA likhA hai ?' kahIM vidvAn bhI indriyoMke vazIbhUta hote haiM, ataH vidvAnko kATakara usake sthAna para mUrkha likha do|' lekhaka bolA-'bAbA jI ! merA anubhava to ThIka hai| yadi Apako iSTa nahIM ho to miTA diijiye|' bAbAjIne use pAnIse dho diyaa| lekhakake manameM bahuta duHkha huaa| yadyapi usane apanI bAta siddha karaneke lie bahutase dRSTAnta diye to bhI sAdhuke manameM eka bhI nahIM aayaa| lekhaka vahA~se calA aura bhramaNa karatA huA banArasa phuNcaa| vahA~ para usane bahurUpa banAnemeM niSNAta manuSyake pAsa rahakara eka varSake andara strI veSa rakhanekI kalA sIkhI aura eka varSa taka vezyAoMke pAsa rahakara gAna-vidyAmeM nipuNatA prApta kii| aba vaha strI jaisA rUpa rakhane aura vezyA jaisA gAnemeM paTu ho gyaa| usake manameM sAdhuke samakSa apanI pustakake pUrva vAkyakI yathArthatA siddha karanekI cintA lagI huI thI, ataH vaha usI rAstAse lauTA / bAbAjIkI kuTiyA Aneke pahale hI usane eka sundara yuvatIkA rUpa dhAraNa kara liyA, ataH yahA~se aba usake lie strIliMgakA hI prayoga kiyA jaaygaa| vaha yuvatI gAnA gAtI huI bAbAjIkI kuTIke pAsa jaba pahuMcI, taba dina bahuta hI thor3A raha gayA thaa| vaha Azraya pAnekI icchAse kuTiyAke pAsa baiThaneko huI ki bAbAjIne tiraskArake sAtha kahA-'yahA~se calI jAo, yahA~ strIsamAjako AnekA adhikAra nhiiN|' strI yuvatIne bar3I dInatAse kahA'mahArAja ! maiM abalA hU~, rUpavatI hU~, dina thor3A raha gayA hai, a~dherI rAta AnevAlI hai aura saghana vana hai| Age jAne para na jAne kauna mujhe haraNa kara legA ? yadi manuSyase baca bhI gaI to bhI koI hiMsaka jantu khA jaavegaa| Apa anAthoMke nAtha sAdhu haiM, ataH mere Upara dayA kiijiye| koI zrApa denevAlA nhiiN| maiM isI vRkSake nIce ApakI chatrachAyA meM par3I rhNgii| Apake bhajanameM mere dvArA koI bAdhA na hogii|' mahArAja bole-'hama yahA~ manuSya takako nahIM rahane dete phira tuma to strI ho / strI hI nahIM, yuvatI ho, yuvatI nahIM, rUpavatI bhI ho, ataH isa sthAna para nahIM raha sktii| Age jAo, abhI kAphI dina hai| strI For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 160 bolI- 'mahArAja ! niSThura na bno| Apa to sAdhu haiM, samadarzI haiN| hama loga to Apako pitA tulya mAnate haiN| sumeru bhale hI calAyamAna ho jAve aura sUryodaya pUrvase na hokara bhale hI pazcimase hone laga jAya / para sAdhu mahAnubhAvoMkA mana kadApi vicalita nahIM hotA, ataH mahArAja ! ucita to yaha thA ki maiM dina bhara kI thakI Apake AzramameM AI, isalie Apa mere khAne-pInekI vyavasthA karate parantu vaha dUra rahA, Apa to rAtribhara ThaharanekI bhI AjJA nahIM dete / satya hai - vipatti kAlameM koI bhI sahAyaka nahIM hotaa| ApakI jo icchA ho, so kahiye, parantu maiM to isa vRkSa talase Age eka kadama bhI nahIM jAU~gI, bhUkhI pyAsI yahIM par3I rahU~gI / jaba sAdhu mahArAjane dekhA ki yaha balA TalanevAlI nahIM, taba cupacApa kuTiyAkA daravAjA banda kara so gye| jaba 10 baja gaye, jaMgalameM sunasAna ho gayA aura pazu-pakSIgaNa apane-apane nIr3oM para nIrava zayana karane lage taba vaha zRMgAra rasamaya gAnA gAne lgii| vaha gAnA itanA AkarSaka aura itanA sundara thA ki jise zravaNa kara acche-acche puruSoMke citta caMcala ho jAte / sAdhu mahArAjane jyoMhI gAnA sunA, tyoM hI kAmavedanAse pIr3ita ho uThe - apane Apako bhUla gye| ve rUpa to dinameM dekha hI cuke the| utane para rajanIkI nIrava belA thI / kisIkA bhaya thA nahIM, ataH kuTIke kapATa khola kara jyoM hI bAhara AnekI ceSTA karane lage tyoM hI usane bAharakI sA~kala banda kara dii| bAbAjIne AvAja lagAI - 'beTI ! kapATa kisane lagA diyA ? mujhe pezAbakI bAdhA hai|' strI bolI- 'pitAjI! maiMne / ' sAdhu mahArAjane kahA-'beTI ! kyoM lagA dI' usane dRr3hatAke sAtha uttara diyA- 'mahArAja Akhira Apa puruSa hI to haiN| puruSoMkA kyA bharosA ? rAtrikA madhya hai, sunasAna ekAnta hai / yadi Apake cittameM kucha vikAra ho jAve to isa bhayAnaka banameM merI rakSA kauna karegA ?' sAdhu bole- 'beTI ! aisA duSTa vikalpa kyoM karatI ho ?' strI bolI- 'yaha to Apa hI jAnate haiM / Apa hI apane manase pUchiye ki mere aisA vikalpa kyoM ho rahA hai ? Apake hRdayameM kalaMkamaya bhAva utpanna hue binA merA aisA bhAva nahIM ho sktaa|' sAdhu bole- 'beTI ! maiM zapathapUrvaka kahatA hU~ aura paramAtmA isakA sAkSI hai ki maiM kadApi tere sAtha durvyavahAra na karU~gA / ' strI bolI- 'Apa satya hI kahate haiM, parantu merA citta isa viSayameM AjJA nahIM detA / kyA Apane rAmAyaNameM nahIM par3hA ki sItAharaNake lie rAvaNane kitanA mAyAcAra For Personal & Private Use Only

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nivRttikI ora kiyA ? yaha manoja atyanta nirdaya hai / yaha itanA bhayAnaka pApa hai ki isake vazIbhUta hokara manuSya andhA ho jAtA hai / mAtA, putrI, bhaginI Adi kisIko nahIM ginatA / isIliye to RSiyoMne yahA~ taka AjJA dI hai ki ekAntameM apanI mA~ tathA sahodarI Adise bhI sambhASaNa na kro| ataH Apa kuTIke bhItara hI pezAba kara liijiye| maiM prAtaH kAlake pahale kapATa na kholU~gI / ' sAdhu mahArAja usake nirAzApUrNa uttarase khinna hokara bole- 'hama tujhe zApa de deNge| tujhe kaSTa ho jAvegA / ' strI bolI- 'ina bhartsanAoMko chodd'o| yadi itanI tapasyA hotI to kapATa na khola lete| kevala gappoMse kucha nahIM hogA / ' jaba sAdhu mahArAjako kucha upAya nahIM sUjha par3A taba ve kuTIkA chappara kATakara kAma-vedanA zAnta karaneke liye bAhara Aye aura itanemeM hI kyA dekhate haiM ki vahA~ para strI nahIM hai / vahI paNDita (lekhaka) jo do varSa pahale AyA thA pustaka khole khar3A hai aura kaha rahA hai ki 'mahArAja ! isa pustaka para likhA huA yaha zloka 'balavAnindriyagrAmo vidvAnsamapakarSati' likhA rahane deM yA punaH likha leveM / ' sAdhune lajjita bhAvase uttara diyA- ' beTA ! yaha zloka to svarNAkSarameM likhane yogya hai / ' yadi paramArthadRSTise dekhA jAve to vikAra koI vastu nahIM, kyoMki aupAdhika paryAya hai / parantu jaba taka AtmAkI isameM nijatva buddhi rahatI hai taba taka vaha saMsArakA hI pAtra rahatA hai / isa prakAra maithunasaMjJAse saMsArake saba jIvoMkI durdazA ho rahI hai / isI taraha parigrahasaMjJAse saMsArameM nAnA anartha hote haiM / isakA lakSaNa zrIumAsvAmIne tattvArthasUtrameM 'mUrcchA parigrahaH' kahA hai / 'pramattayogAtprANavyaparopaNaM hiMsA' isa sUtrase pramattayogakI anuvRtti AtI hai aura taba 'pramattayogAt mUrcchA parigrahaH' itanA lakSaNa ho jAtA hai| vastutaH anuvRtti lAnekI koI AvazyakatA nahIM hai, kyoMki mUrcchAke lakSaNameM hI 'pramattayoga' zabda par3A huA hai| 'mamedaM' buddhi lakSaNa hI parigraha hai arthAt para padArthameM 'yaha merA hai' aisA jo abhiprAya hai vahI mUrcchA hai| yaha bhAva binA mithyAtvake hotA nahIM / para padArthako AtmIya mAnanA hI mithyAtva hai / yadyapi para padArtha AtmA nahIM ho jAtA tathApi mithyAtvake prabhAvase hamArI kalpanAmeM vaha AtmA hI dIkhatA hai| jaise manuSya rajjumeM sarpa bhrAnti ho jAneke kAraNa bhayase palAyamAna hone lagatA hai / parantu rajju rajju hI 161 For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 162 hai aura sarpa sarpa hI hai| jJAnameM jo sarpa A rahA hai vaha jJAnakA doSa hai, jJeyakA nahIM, isIko antarjeya karate haiN| isa anta yakI apekSA vaha jJAna apramANa nahIM, kyoMki yadi antarjeya sarpa na hotA to vaha palAyamAna nahIM hotaa| usa jJAnako jo mithyA kahate haiM vaha bAhya prameyakI apekSA hI kahate haiN| isIliye zrIsamantabhadra svAmIne devAgamastotrameM likhA hai "bhAvaprameyApekSAyAM pramANAbhAsanihnavaH / __bahiHprameyApekSAyAM pramANaM tannibhaJca te||' ___ arthAt yadi antarjeyakI apekSA vastu svarUpakA vicAra kiyA jAve to koI bhI jJAna apramANa nahIM, kyoMki jisa jJAnameM pratibhAsita viSayakA vyabhicAra na ho vahI jJAna pramANa hai| jaba hama mithyAjJAnake Upara vicAra karate haiM taba usameM jo antarjeya bhAsamAna ho rahA hai vaha to jJAnameM hai hii| yadi jJAnameM sarpa na hotA to palAyamAna honekI kyA AvazyakatA thI ? phira usa jJAnako jo mithyA kahate haiM vaha kevala bAhya prameyakI apekSA hI kahate haiM, kyoMki bAhyameM sarpa nahIM hai, rajju hai| ataeva svAmIne yahI siddhAnta nizcita kiyA ki bAhya prameyakI apekSA hI jJAnameM pramANa aura pramANAbhAsakI vyavasthA hai, antaraMga prameyakI apekSA saba jJAna pramANa hI hai| yahI kAraNa hai ki jaba hama jJAnameM zarIrako AtmA dekhate haiM taba usImeM nijatvakI kalpanA karane lagate haiN| usa samaya hameM kitane hI prakArase samajhAnekA prayatna kyoM na kiyA jAve saba viphala hotA hai, kyoMki antaraMgameM mithyAdarzanakI puTa vidyamAna rahatI hai| jaise kAmalA rogIko zaMkha pIlA hI dIkhatA hai| use kitanA hI kyoM na samajhAyA jAve ki zaMkha to zukla hI hotA hai, Apa balAtkAra pIta kyoM kaha rahe haiN| para vaha yahI uttara detA hai ki ApakI dRSTi vibhramAtmaka hai jisase pIle zaMkhako zukla kahate ho| isase yaha siddha huA ki jaba taka mithyAdarzanakA sadbhAva hai tabataka para padArthase AtmIya buddhi nahIM jA sktii| jinheM samyagjJAna abhISTa hai unheM sabase pahale abhiprAyako nirmala karanekA prayatna karanA caahiye| jinakA abhiprAya malina hai ve samyagjJAnake pAtra nahIM, ataH saba parigrahoMmeM mahAn pApa mithyAtva parigraha hai| jabataka isakA abhAva nahIM tabataka Apa kitane hI vrata, tapa, saMyamAdi grahaNa kyoM na kareM, mokSamArgake sAdhaka nhiiN| isa mithyAtvake sadbhAvameM gyAraha aMga aura nau pUrvakA tathA bAhyameM munidharmakA pAlana karanevAlA bhI navagraiveyakase Upara nahIM jA sktaa| anantabAra muniliMgadhAraNa karake bhI isI saMsArameM rulatA rahatA hai| For Personal & Private Use Only

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nivRttikI ora 163 mithyAtvakA nirvacana bhI samyaktvakI taraha hI durlabha hai, kyoMki jJAnaguNake binA jitane anya guNa haiM ve saba nirvikalpaka haiN| jJAna hI eka aisI zakti AtmAmeM hai jo sabakI vyavasthA banAye hai| yahI eka aisA guNa hai jo parakI bhI vyavasthA karatA hai aura apanI bhii| mithyAtvake kArya jo atattvazraddhAnAdika haiM ve saba jJAnakI paryAya hai| vAstavameM mithyAtva kyA hai vaha matizrutajJAnake gamya nhiiN| usake kAryase hI usakA anumAna kiyA jAtA hai| jaise vAtarogase zarIrakI sandhi sandhimeM vedanA hotI hai| usa vedanAse hama anumAna karate haiM ki hamAre vAtaroga hai| vAtaroga kA pratyakSa anubhava nahIM hotaa| aise hI kuguru aura kudharmake mAnanekA bhI hamArA pariNAma hotA hai usase mithyAtvakA anumAna hotA hai| vAstavameM usakA pratyakSa nahIM hotaa| athavA zarIrameM jo ahambuddhi hotI hai vaha mithyAtvake udayameM hotI hai, ataH usa ahambuddhise mithyAtvakA anubhava hotA hai| vastutaH usakA pratyakSa nahIM hotA, kyoMki vaha guNa nirvikalpaka hai| isa taraha yaha parigraha AtmAke sampUrNa parigrahoMkA mUla hai| jaba taka isakA tyAga nahIM taba taka AtmA saMsArakA hI pAtra rahatA hai| isake jAnese hI AtmA mokSamArgake pathapara calanekA adhikArI ho sakatA hai| jabataka samyagdarzana na ho taba taka yaha jIva na to gRhastha dharmakA adhikArI ho sakatA hai aura na Rssidhrmkaa| UparameM cAhe gRhastha rahe, cAhe muniveSa dhAraNa kara le, kauna roka sakatA hai ? ___ janmase zarIra nagna hI hotA hai| anantara jisa vAtAvaraNameM isakA pAlana hotA hai, tadrUpa isakA pariNamana ho jAtA hai| dekhA gayA hai ki rAjAoMke yahA~ jo bAlaka hote haiM unako ghAma aura zItase bacAneke liye bar3e-bar3e upAya kiye jAte haiN| unake bhojanAdikI vyavasthAke liye hajAroM rupaye vyaya kiye jAte haiN| unako jarA-sI zIta bAdhA ho jAne para bar3e-bar3e vaidyoM va DAkTaroMkI Apatti A jAtI hai| vahI bAlaka yadi garIbake gRhameM janma letA hai to dina-dina bhara saradI aura garamImeM par3A rahatA hai| phira bhI rAjA bAlakakI apekSA kahIM adhika hRSTa puSTa rahatA hai| prAkRtika zIta aura uSNa usake zarIrakI vRddhimeM sahAyaka hote haiN| yadi kabhI use jUr3I-saradI satAtA hai to loMga ghisakara pilA denA hI nIrogatAkA sAdhaka ho jAtA hai| jo-jo vastujAta dhanADhyoMke bAlakoMko apakAraka samajhe jAte haiM vahI-vahI vastujAta nirdhanoMke bAlakoMke sahAyaka dekhe jAte haiN| jagatkI rIti aisI vilakSaNa hai ki jisake For Personal & Private Use Only

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164 merI jIvanagAthA pAsa kucha paisA huA, loga use puNyazAlI puruSa kahane lagate haiN| kyoMki unake dvArA sAmAnya manuSyoM ko kucha sahAyatA milatI hai aura vaha isaliye milatI hai ki sAmAnya manuSya una dhanADhyoMkI asat prazaMsA kreN| yaha loka jo ki dhanADhyoM dvArA dravyAdi pAkara tuSTa hote haiM, cAraNa logoMkA kArya karate haiM / yadi yaha na ho to unakI pola khula jaave| bar3e-bar3e pratibhAzAlI kavirAja jarA-sI dravya pAneke liye aise-aise varNana karate haiM ki sAdhAraNase sAdhAraNa dhanADhyako indra, dhanakubera tathA dAnavIra karNa Adi kahane meM bhI nahIM cukate / yadyapi yaha dhanADhyaloga unheM dhana nahIM denA cAhate tathApi apane aiboM-doSoMko chipAneke liye lAkhoM rupaye de DAlate haiM / uttama to yaha thA ki kaviyoMkI pratibhAkA sadupayoga kara svAtmAkI pariNatiko nirmala banAnekI ceSTA karate / parantu canda cA~dIke Tukar3oMke lobhase lAlAyita hokara apanI alaukika pratibhA vikraya kara dete haiM / jJAna prAptikA phala to yaha honA ucita thA ki, saMsArake kAryoMse virakta hote, para vaha to dUra rahA, kevala lobhake vazIbhUta hokara AtmAko bAhya padArthoMkA anurAgI banA lete haiN| astu, mithyAtva parigrahakA abhAva ho jAne para bhI yadyapi parigrahakA sadbhAva rahatA hai tathApi usameM isakI nijatva kalpanA miTa jAtI hai, ataH saba parigrahoMkA mUla mithyAtva hI hai / jinheM saMsArabandhanase chUTanekI abhilASA hai unheM sarvaprathama isIkA tyAga karanA cAhiye, kyoMki, isakA tyAga karanese saba padArthoMkA tyAga sulabha ho jAtA hai|..... isa prakAra bAIjIne apanI sarala, saumya evaM gambhIra mudrAmeM jo lambA tattvopadeza diyA thA use maiMne apanI bhASAmeM yahA~ parivyakta karanekA prayatna kiyA hai| maiMne kahA-'bAIjI ! Akhira hama bhI to manuSya haiN| manuSya hI to mahAvrata dhAraNa karate haiM aura aneka upasarga-upadrava Ane para bhI apane karttavyase vicalita nahIM hote| unakA bhI to mere hI jaisA audArika zarIra hotA hai / phira maiM isa jarAse vratako dhAraNa na kara sakU~gA ?' 1 bAIjI cupa hI rahIM, para zrIbAlacandrajI savAlanavIsa bole- 'jo ApakI icchA ho, so karo / parantu vratako lekara usakA nirvAha karanA paramAvazyaka hai zIghratA karanA acchA nhiiN| hamane anAdi kAlase yathArtha vrata nahIM pAlA / yoM to dravyaliMga dhAraNakara anantabAra yaha jIva graiveyaka taka pahu~ca gayA, parantu samyagjJAna pUrvaka cAritrake abhAvameM saMsAra baMdhanakA nAza nahIM kara sakA / Apane jainAgamakA abhyAsa kiyA hai aura prAyaH ApakI pravRtti bhI uttama rahI hai / parantu For Personal & Private Use Only

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nivRttiko ora 165 Apake vyavahArase hama ApakI antaraMga pariNatiko jAnate haiM aura usake AdhAra para kaha sakate haiM ki Apa abhI vrata leneke pAtra nhiiN| yaha hama acchI taraha jAnate haiM ki ApakI pravRtti itanI sarala hai ki manuSya usase anucita lAbha uThAnA cAhate haiM; ataH Apa inhIM anucita kAryoM se khinna hokara vrata leneke sammukha hue haiN| AzA hai Apa hamArI bAta para pUrNa rItise vicAra kreNge|' maiMne kahA-'ApakA kahanA akSarazaH satya hai| parantu merI AtmA yadi vrata na levegI to bahuta khinna rahegI, ataH aba maiM kisI vizeSa tyAgIke pAsa vrata le luuNgaa| kucha nahIM hogA to na sahI, para merI jo yaha bAhya pravRtti hai vaha to chUTa jAvegI aura jo vyartha vyaya hotA hai usase baca jaauuNgaa| merA vizvAsa hai ki merI yaha pravRtti bAIjIko bhI acchI lgegii| abhI taka maiMne jo pAyA so vyaya kiyaa| aba parimita vyaya hone lagegA tathA jahA~ taka mujhase banegA vratameM zithilatA na kruuNgaa|' zrI bAlacandrajI sAhabane kahA-kahane aura karanemeM mahAn antara hotA hai | kauna manuSya nahIM cAhatA ki maiM sumArgameM na lguuN| jisa samaya zAstrapravacana hotA hai aura vaktAke mukhase saMsArakI asAratAko sunate haiM usa samaya pratyekake manameM yaha A jAtA hai ki saMsAra asAra hai, koI kisIkA nahIM, saba jIva apane-apane karmoM ke AdhIna haiM, vyartha hI hama kalatraputrAdike snehameM apanI manuSya paryAyakI yogyatAko gamA rahe haiM, ataeva sabase mamatA tyAgakara daigambarI dIkSAkA avalambana kara leN| parantu jahA~ zAstra-pravacana pUrNa huA ki ATha AnA bhara bhAva raha gaye, bhajana honeke bAda cAra AnA bhAva raha gaye, binatI hone taka do AnA aura zAstra virAjamAna hote-hote yaha bhI bhAva calA gayA......yaha Ajake logoMkI pariNati hai| abhI tumheM jo utsAha hai, vrata leneke bAda usase AdhA raha jaavegaa| aura cAra yA cha: mAsake bAda cauthAI raha jaavegaa| hA~, yaha avazya hai ki lokabhayase vratakA pAlana karoge, parantu jo pariNAma Aja hai ve phira na rheNge| bhale hI Aja Apake pariNAma atyanta svaccha kyoM na hoM, parantu yaha nizcaya hai ki kAlAntarameM unakA isI prakAra svaccha rahA AnA kaThina hai| aisA ekAnta bhI nahIM ki sabhIke pariNAma gira jAte haiM, parantu Adhikya aisA dekhA jAtA hai| zrI bharatake sadRza sabhI jIva antarmuhUrtameM kevalajJAna upArjana kara leM, yaha kaThina hai| prathama bAra saptama guNasthAna honemeM jo pariNAma hote haiM ve chaThaveMse saptama guNasthAna honemeM nahIM hote, ataH vicAra kara kArya karanA For Personal & Private Use Only

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166 merI jIvanagAthA caahiye| maiM Apako isaliye nahIM rokatA ki Apa saMyama aMgIkRta na kreN| saMyama dhAraNa karanemeM jo zAnti milatI hai vaha ina paJcendriyoMke viSayoMmeM nahIM, ataH saMyama dhAraNa karanA Avazyaka hai / parantu saMyama honA cAhiye / nAmamAtrake saMyamase AtmAkA sudhAra nahIM hotaa| abhI hama loga saMyamako khela samajhate haiM, para saMyamakI utpatti sarala nhiiN| usake liye to hameM sarva prathama anAdikAlase jo para padArthoM meM Atmabuddhi ho rahI hai use chor3anA hogaa| kahaneko to pratyeka kaha detA hai ki zarIra jar3a hai, hama cetana haiM / parantu jaba zarIrameM koI vyAdhi AtI hai taba he mA~! he dAdA ! he bhagavan hamArI rakSA kro| vaidyarAja ! aisI auSadhikA prayoga karo ki jo zIghra hI rogase mukta kara de.... Adi dInatAparaka zabdoMkI jhar3I lagA dete haiM / yadi yathArthameM zarIrako para samajhate taba itanI AkulatA kyoM ? basa chalase yahI uttara diyA jAtA hai ki kyA kareM ? cAritramohakI prabalatA hai, hama to zraddhAmeM para hI mAnate haiM / kucha zAstrakA bodha huA to balabhadra aura nArAyaNake mohakI kathA sunA dI / yahA~ merA yaha tAtparya nahIM ki samyagdRSTi vedanA AdikA ilAja nahIM karatA / parantu bahutase manuSya chalase hI vAkyapaTutA dvArA samyagjJAnI bananekI ceSTA karate haiM / ataH sabase pahale to abhiprAya nirmala honekI AvazyakatA hai / anantara paJcendriyoMke viSayameM svecchAcAritA na honI cAhiye / phira vacanakAyakI ceSTA yogya honI cAhiye aura manameM nirantara uttama vicAroMkA pracAra honA caahiye| ina saba yogyatAoMke anantara dravyAdi catuSTayakI yogyatAkA vicArakara saMyama dhAraNa karanA cAhiye tathA cittameM koI zalya bhI na ho, tabhI saMyama grahaNa karanA lAbhadAyaka hogaa| I I Apa jAnate haiM ki vartamAnameM na to logoMke zuddha bhojanakI pravRtti raha gaI hai aura na aSTa mUlaguNa dhAraNa karanekI pravRtti hI rahI hai| inake bala para hI to Apako dezasaMyama surakSita raha sakegA / yadyapi bAIjIkI pUrNa yogyatA hai| parantu aba unakA jIvana bahuta thor3A hai, ataH unake pazcAt tumheM parAdhIna honA pdd'egaa| tumhArA khyAla hai ki maiM apanA hI kyA, do anya tyAgiyoMkA bhI bAIjIke dravyase nirvAha kara sakatA hU~ / parantu bahuta aMzoMmeM to tumane use pahale hI vyaya kara diyaa| yaha maiM mAnatA hU~ ki aba bhI jo avaziSTa hai vaha tumhAre liye paryApta hai / parantu maiM hRdayase kahatA hU~ ki bAIjIke svargavAsake bAda tuma usameM kA eka paisA bhI na rakkhoge aura usa hAlatameM tumheM parAdhIna hI rahanA pdd'egaa| usa samaya yaha nahIM kaha sakoge ki hama aSTa mUlaguNa dhAraNa For Personal & Private Use Only

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vRtta 167 karanevAleke hI yahA~ bhojana kreNge| yadi adhika Agraha kareMge to loga tumhAre samakSa pratijJA bhI dhAraNa kara leveNge| parantu vaha nAmamAtrakI pratijJA hogii| jaise vartamAnameM manuSya munirAjake samakSa bhI pratijJA kara lete haiM ki Ajanma zUdra jalakA tyAga hai, anna-jala grahaNa kIjiye / pazcAt unheM isa pratijJAke tor3anemeM koI prakArakA bhaya nahIM rhtaa| yahI hAla Apake aSTamUlaguNoMkA hogA / Apa jAnate haiM - 100 meM 60 aspatAlakI davA sevana karate haiM / unake aSTa mUlaguNa kahA~ ho sakate haiM ? isake sivAya isa kAlameM nyAyopArjita dhanake dvArA niSpanna AhArakA milanA prAyaH durlabha hai, kyoMki garIboMko jAne dIjiye, bar3e-bar3e raIsa loga bhI Aja jisa chala aura zudratAse dravyakA saMcaya karane lage haiM unakA vicAra karo to zarIra romAMcita ho jaay| jaba anna-jalAdikI vyavasthAmeM itanI kaThinAI hai taba binA vicAre vrata lenA maiM to yogya nahIM smjhtaa| vrata uttama hai, parantu yathArtha rItise pAlana kiyA jAnA cAhiye / kevala laukika manuSyoMmeM yaha prasiddha ho jAve ki amuka manuSya vratI hai.... ...isI dRSTise vratI honA kahA~ taka yogya hai ? maiM yaha bhI mAnatA hU~ ki Apa sAkSara haiM tathA ApakA puNya bhI viziSTa hai, ataH ApakI vrata zithilatA bhI ApakI pratiSThAmeM bAdhaka na hogii| maiM kisIkI parIkSA lenemeM saMkoca nahIM karatA, parantu Apake sAtha kucha aisA sneha ho gayA hai ki Apake doSa dekhakara bhI nahIM kaha sktaa| isIse kahatA hU~ ki yadi Apa sadoSa bhI vrata pAleMge to prazaMsAke pAtra hoNge| parantu paramArthase Apa usa vratake pAtra nahIM / prathama to ApameM itanI adhika saralatA hai ki pratyeka manuSya Apake prabhAvameM A jAtA hai / phira ApakI pratibhA aura AgamakA jJAna itanA adhika hai ki loga Apake samakSa mu~ha bhI kholanemeM saMkoca karate haiM, parantu isase kyA vratameM yathArthatA A sakegI ? Apa yaha svayaM jAnate haiM ki vrata to vaha vastu hai ki jisakI yathArthatA honepara saMsAra-bandhana svayameva khula jAtA hai, ataH merI yahI sammati hai ki jJAnako pAkara usakA durupayoga na kro| mujhe zrI kundakunda mahArAjake ina vacanoMkI smRti AtI hai ki 'he prabho ! mere zatruko bhI dravyaliMga na ho|' isaliye Apa kucha dina taka abhyAsa rUpase vratoMkA pAlana karo / pazcAt jaba samyag abhyAsa ho jAve taba vrata grahaNa kara lenA / basa, aba ApakI jo icchA ho so karo / ' For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 168 isake anantara bAIjI bolIM-"bhaiyA bAlacandra jI ! Apake zabdoMko sunakara mujhe bahuta harSa huaa| parantu maiM ApakI prakRtiko jAnatI huuN| isake svabhAvakA vaha mahAn doSa hai ki yaha pUrvApara AlocanA kiye binA hI kAryako prArambha kara detA hai, cAhe usameM uttIrNa ho yA anuttIrNa / isakI prakRti sarala hai parantu ugra hai-krodhI hai| yaha ThIka hai ki sthAyI krodhI nhiiN| mAyAcArI nhiiN| dAnI bhI hai, parantu kahA~ denA cAhiye, isakA viveka nhiiN| bhojanameM isake viruddha kucha bhI huA ki usakA krodha 100 DigrI ho jAtA hai| thAlI phor3a de, loTA phor3a de, svayaM bhUkhA mare / maiM hI isake isa anargala krodhako sahatI hU~ aura sahanekA kAraNa yaha hai ki ise prArambhase putravat pAlA hai| aba isakI rakSA karanA merA kartavya hai| ina saba bAtoMke hote hue bhI isakI pravRtti dharmameM dRr3ha hai| parantu yaha bhUla karatA hai| isakA pariNAma vrata pAlaneke yogya nhiiN| phira bAta yaha hai ki manuSya jo pratijJA letA hai usakA kisI taraha nirvAha kartA hI hai| yaha bhI karegA, para ucita yahI thA ki abhI kucha dina taka abhyAsa krtaa|' maiM kucha kahanA cAhatA thA, para bAIjI merI mudrAko dekhakara Age kahatI gaI ki 'yaha aba kisIkI sunanevAlA nahIM, ataH aba isa viSayakI kathA chor3iye / jo isake manameM Ave so kare, parantu caraNAnuyogakA manana kara tyAga kare to acchA hai| Ajakala pratyeka bAtameM vivAda calatA hai| maiM kyoM vikalpameM pdduuN| jo bhavitavya hogA vahI hogaa|' itanA kahakara bAIjI taTastha raha giiN| maiM vrata pAlanekI ceSTA karane lgaa| abhyAsa to pahale thA hI nahIM, ataH dhIre-dhIre vrata pAlane lgaa| upavAsa jaisA AgamameM likhA hai vaisA nahIM hotA thA, arthAt trayodazI yA saptamIke dina pAraNAke bAda phira dUsarI bAra bhojanakA tyAga honA caahiye| pazcAt caturdazI yA aSTamIko donoM bAra bhojanakA tyAga aura amAvasyA yA navamIko pAraNAke bAda sAyaMkAlake bhojanakA tyAga........isa taraha cAra bhUktiyoMkA tyAga eka upavAsameM honA cAhiye aura vaha kAla dharmadhyAnameM bitAnA cAhiye-saMsArake prapaJcoMse bacanA cAhiye, zAntipUrvaka kAla yApana karanA caahiye| para hamArI yaha pravRtti thI ki trayodazI aura saptamIke dina sAyaMkAlako bhojana karate the, kevala caturdazI aSTamIke dina donoM samaya bhejana nahIM karate the, amAvasyA aura navamIko bhI donoM bAra bhojana karate the....yahI hamArA upavAsa thaa| kintu svAdhyAyameM kAla yApana avazya karate the| sAmAyika tInoM kAla karate the| For Personal & Private Use Only

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169 parantu samaya para nahIM karate the / madhyAhna kAla prAyaH cUka jAte the / para zraddhA jyoM-kI-tyoM thii| sabase mahatI truTi yaha thI ki aSTamI aura caturdazIko bhI zirameM tela DAlate the / kacce jalase snAna karate the| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki mere vratameM caraNAnuyogakI bahutasI galatiyA~ rahatI thIM aura unheM jAnatA bhI thaa| parantu zaktikI hInatA janita pariNAmoMkI dRr3hatA na honese yathAyogya vrata nahIM pAla sakatA thA, ataH dhIre-dhIre unameM sudhAra karane lagA / yaha saba hone para bhI manameM nirantara yathArtha vrata pAlanekI hI ceSTA rahatI thI aura yaha bhI nirantara vicArameM AtA rahatA ki tumane bAlacandrajI tathA bAIjIkA kahanA nahIM mAnA / usIkA yaha phala hai para aba kyA hotA hai ? paJcoMkI adAlata paJcoMkI adAlata eka bAra hama aura kamalApati seTha barAyaThAmeM paraspara bAtacIta kara rahe the| seThajIne kucha gambhIra bhAvase kahA ki 'kyA koI aisA upAya hai jisase hamAre yahA~ vivAhameM striyoMkA jAnA banda ho jAve, kyoMki jahA~ strI samAjakI pramukhatA hotI hai vahA~ aneka prakArakI anarthoMkI sambhAvanA sahaja hI ho jAtI hai| prathama to nAnA prakArake bhaNDa vacana unake zrImukhase nikalate haiM / dvitIya itara samAjake sammukha nIcA dekhanA par3atA hai / anya samAjake loga bar3e garvake sAtha kahate haiM ki tumhArI samAjakI yahI sabhyatA hai ki strI samAja nirlajja hokara bhaNDa gItoMkA alApa karatI hai|' maiMne kahA- 'upAya kyoM nahIM hai ? kevala prayogameM lAnekI kamI hai| Aja zAmako isa viSayakI carcA kreNge|' nidAna hama donoMne rAtriko zAstra - pravacanake bAda isakI carcA cher3I aura phalasvarUpa bahuta kucha vivAdake bAda sabane vivAhameM strI samAjakA na jAnA svIkAra kara liyaa| isake bAda dUsare dina hama donoM nImaToriyA Aye / yahA~ para barAyaThA grAmase eka bArAta AI thI / yahA~ para jo lar3akIkA mAmA thA usase mAmUlI aparAdha bana gayA thA, ataH logoMne usakA vivAhameM AnA-jAnA banda kara diyA thaa| usakI paJcAyata huI aura kisI taraha use vivAha meM bulAnA maMjUra ho gayA / 1 nImaToriyAse tIna mIla halavAnI grAma, yahA~ para eka pratiSThita jainI rahatA thA, use bhI loga vivAhameM nahIM bulAte the / usakI bhI paJcAyatakI gii| maiMne paJcase pUchA- 'bhAI ! inakA kyA doSa hai ?' paJcoMne kahA - 'koI doSa nhiiN|' maiMne kahA - 'phira kyoM nahIM bulAte ?' amuka paTavArI jAne, amuka For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 170 siMghaIjI jAne yA seThajI jAne, yahI kahate rahe, nirNaya kucha bhI nahIM huaa| antameM ekane kahA-'Apa ekAntameM Aiye isakA rahasya Apake jJAnameM A jaavegaa| maiM bar3I utsukatAse unake sAtha ekAntameM calA gyaa| vahA~ Apa kahate haiM-'kyA Apa inako jAnate haiM ?' maiMne kahA-'acchI taraha jAnatA huuN|' inake eka lar3akA hai aura isakA vivAha dalapatapura huA'.....unhoMne khaa| 'acchA, isase kyA huA ?' sabakA vivAha hotA hai, jo bAta marmakI ho use kaho...maiMne khaa| lar3akekI aurata atyanta sundarI hai| basa, yahI aparAdhakA kAraNa hai'...unhoMne khaa| 'strIkA sundara honA isameM kyA aparAdha hai....maiMne kahA / 'yahI to bAta hai kyA kahU~ ? Apa to laukika tattvakI kucha bhI mImAMsA nahIM jaante| saMsArameM pApakI jar3a to yahI hai| yadi yaha bAta usameM na hotI to koI aparAdha usakA na thaa| usa auratakI sundaratAne hI ina logoMkA vivAhameM AnA-jAnA banda karavAyA hai'....unhoMne bar3I gambhIra mudrAse kahA ? phira bhI Apake kahanese kucha bhI bodha nahIM huA.....maiMne kahA ? 'bodha kahA~se ho ? kevala pustakeM hI to Apane par3hI haiN| abhI laukika zAstrase anabhijJa ho| abhI Apa bundelakhaNDake paJcoMke jAlameM nahIM aaye| isIse yaha saba paropakAra sUjha rahA hai.....jhuMjhalA kara usane kahA ? 'bhAI sAhaba maiM Apake kahanekA kucha bhI rahasya nahIM smjhaa| kRpayA zIghra samajhA diijiye| bahuta vilamba huaa|.maiNne jijJAsA bhAvase kahA ? 'jaldI se kAma nahIM clegaa| yahA~ to aparAdhIko mahInoM paJcoMkI khuzAmada karanI par3atI hai taba kahIM usakI bAtapara vicAra hotA hai, yaha to paJcoMkI adAlata hai| varSoM meM jAkara mAmalA taya hotA hai|'... bar3e garvake sAtha usane khaa| 'mahAzaya ! ina vyarthakI bAtoMmeM kucha nhiiN| usakI aurata bahuta sundara hai| isake bAda kahiye ........maiMne jhuMjhalA kara khaa| 'jaba vaha mandirameM, kue para yA anya kahIM jAtI hai usake pairakI AhaTa sunakara loga usake mukhakI ora tAkane lagate haiM aura jaba vaha apane sAthakI auratoMke sAtha vacanAlApa karatI hai taba loga kAna lagAkara sunane lagate haiN| maiM kahA~ taka kahU~ ? usake yahA~ nimantraNa hotA hai to loga usakA hAtha dekhakara mohita ho jAte haiN| anya kI kyA kahU~ ? maiM svayaM eka bAra usake ghara bhojanake lie gayA to usake paga dekhakara mohita ho gyaa| yahI kAraNa hai ki jisase paJcoMne use vivAhameM banda kara diyaa|.......usne khaa| 'mahAzaya ! kyA kabhI usane para puruSake sAtha anAcAra bhI kiyA ?'....maiMne pUchA / 'so to sunanemeM nahIM aayaa|'. For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #196
paJcoMkI adAlata 171 ....unhoMne khaa| 'aura kucha bolanA cAhate ho|'....maiNne khaa| 'nahIM'....unhoMne khaa| basa, mujhe ekadama krodha A gyaa| maiMne bAhara Akara paJcoMke samakSa saba rahasya khola diyA aura unakI avivekatA para Adha ghaNTA vyAkhyAna diyaa| jisane mujhe ekAntameM yaha rahasya batalAyA thA usakA pA~ca rupayA daNDa kiyA tathA seThajIse kahA ki hama aise paJcoMke sAtha sambhASaNa karanA mahAn pApa samajhate haiN| isa grAmameM maiM pAnI na pIU~gA tathA aise vivAhAdi kAryoM meM jo bhojana karegA vaha mahAna pAtakI hogaa| sunate hI jitane navayuvaka the sabane vivAhakI paMgatameM jAnese iMkAra kara diyA aura jo paMgatameM pahuMca cuke the ve saba patarIse uThane lge| __bAtakI bAtameM sanasanI phaila gii| lar3akI vAlA daur3a AyA aura bar3I namratAse kahane lagA-'maiMne kauna-sA aparAdha kiyA hai ? maiM use bulAneko taiyAra huuN|' paJca logoMne apane aparAdhakA prAyazcita kiyA aura jo mahAzaya sundara-rUpavatI strIke kAraNa vivAhameM nahIM bulAye jAte the ve paMkti bhojanameM sammilita hue| isa prakAra yaha anartha dUra huaa| isI grAmameM yaha bhI nizcaya ho gayA ki hama loga vivAhameM strIsamudAya na le jAveMge aura eka prastAva yaha bhI pAsa ho gayA ki jo AdamI doSakA prAyazcita lekara zuddha ho jAvegA use vivAha Adi kAryoM ke samaya bulAne meM bAdhA na hogii| eka sudhAra yaha bhI ho gayA ki mandirakA dravya jinake pAsa hai unase Aja vApisa le liyA jAve tathA bhaviSyameM binA gahaneke kisIko mandirase rupayA na diyA jaave| yaha bhI nizcaya huA ki ArambhI, udyamI evaM virodhI hiMsAke kAraNa kisIko jAtise bahiSkRta na kiyA jaave| yaha bhI niyama pAsa ho gayA ki paMgatameM AlU, baiMgana Adi abhakSya padArtha na banAye jAveM tathA rAtrike samaya mandirameM zAstra-pravacana ho aura usameM saba sammilita hoN| yahA~ para eka daridra AdamI thaa| usake nirvAhake lie candA ikaTThA karanekI bAta jaba kahI taba eka mahAzayane bar3e utsAhake sAtha kahA ki candAkI kyA AvazyakatA hai ? varSameM do mAsa bhojana maiM karA duuNgaa| unakI bAta sunakara pA~ca anya mahAzayoMne bhI do mAsa bhojana karAnA svIkAra kara liyaa| isa taraha hama donoMkA yahA~ AnA sArthaka huaa| . usa samaya hamAre manameM vicAra AyA ki grAmINa janatA bahuta hI sarala aura bholI hotI hai| unheM upadeza dene vAle nahIM, ataH unake manameM jo AtA For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #197
172 merI jIvanagAthA vahI kara baiThate haiM / yadi koI niSkapaTa bhAvase unheM upadeza deveM to usa upadezakA mahAn Adara karate haiM aura upadezadAtAko paramAtmA tulya mAnate haiM / kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki vidvAn grAmoMmeM jAkara vahA~ke nivAsiyoMkI pravRttiko nirmala banAnekI ceSTA kreN| jAtikA saMvara I eka bAra hama loga sAgarase haradIke paJcakalyANakameM gaye / vahA~ jAkara paNDita motIlAlajI varNIke DerA para Thahara gaye / Apa hI pratiSThAcArya the / yahA~ para eka bar3I durghaTanA ho gaI, jo isa prakAra hai - mandirake dvAra para madhumakkhiyoMkA eka chattA lagA thA / use logoMne dhuvA~ dekara haTA diyA / rAtriko zAstra-pravacanake samaya usa viSayapara bar3A bAda vivAda huaa| bahuta logoMne kahA ki jahA~ para bhagavAnke paMcakalyANaka hoM vahA~ aisA anartha kyoM huA ? antameM yaha nirNaya huA ki jo huA so ho cukaa| vaha siMghaIjIkI galatI nahIM thI, sevaka logoMne yaha anartha kiyA / parantu mAlikane vizeSa dhyAna nahIM diyA, ataH kalake dina 1000 daridroMko miSTAnna bhojana karAveM... yahI usakA prAyazcitta hai| siMghaIjIne ukta nirNayake anusAra dUsare dina 1000 daridroMko bhojana karAkara paMcAyatake AdezakA pAlana kiyA / 1 yahA~ para rathameM zrIraghunAthajI modI bar3agA~va vAle Aye the / ye jAtike golAlAre the aura jahA~ inakA ghara thA vahA~ 200 golAlAre aura the / ina logoMkA golAlAroMse 50 varSase samparka chUTA huA thA / golAlAre na to inheM apanI kanyA dete the aura na hI inakI kanyA lete the / yaha loga parasparameM hI apanA nirvAha karate the| inhoMne paNDita mUlacandrajIse, jo ki sAgara pAThazAlAke suparinTenDenTa the, kahA - 'hamako jAtimeM milA liyA jaave|' paNDita mUlacandrajI bahuta catura manuSya haiN| unhoMne uttara diyA - ki 'bhAI sAhaba ! yadi Apa milanA cAhate haiM to Apa janatAmeM apanA viSaya rakho / dekheM, kyA uttara milatA hai ?' zrIraghunAtha modIne rAtriko zAstrapravacanake bAda sAgara, damoha, zAhapura Adi prAnta bharake samagra paJcoMke samakSa apanI durdazAkA citra rakkhA, jo bahuta hI karuNotpAdaka thA / unhoMne kahA - 'hama loga pacAsa varSase jAti bAhya haiN| hama logoMkA to koI aparAdha nahIM, jo bhI kucha ho, pUrvajoMkA hai| hamane jabase apanA kArya sa~bhAlA hai tabase na to koI pApa kiyA hai aura na kisI dassAke sAtha sambandha hI kiyA hai| barAbara devadarzana, pUjA For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #198
jAtikA saMvara , 173 tathA svAdhyAyakI paripATIkA niyamapUrvaka pAlana karate haiM tathA zrI girirAja, girinAra Adi tIrthoM kI yAtrA bhI karate haiM, bhojanAdikI prakriyA bhI zuddha hai, hama loga kabhI rAtri bhojana nahIM karate aura na kabhI anachanA pAnI pIte haiN| hA~, itanA aparAdha avazya huA ki eka lar3akekI zAdI pacabise golApUrvakI kanyAse ho gaI aura eka lar3akI paravArako de dii| so yaha bhI kArya hama logoMkI saMkhyA bahuta alpa raha jAnese karanA par3A hai| hama logoMke ghara muzkilase paccIsa yA tIsa hoNge| yadi hamAre sAtha aisA hI vyavahAra rahA to kucha kAlameM hamArA astitva hI lupta ho jaavegaa| Apa yaha jAnate haiM ki jahA~ para Aya nahIM kevala vyaya hI ho vahA~ mUladhanakA nAza hI dhruva hai| Apa loga apanAte nahIM, ataH hama kahA~ jAveM? yA to nirNaya kara hameM jAtimeM sammilita kIjiye yA AjJA dIjiye ki hama svecchAcArI hokara jahA~-tahA~ vicareM, bahuta kaSTa sahe, aba nahIM sahe jaate| antameM ApakI hI kSati hogii| pahale caurAsI jAtike vaizya jaina the, para aba Adhe bhI dekhanemeM nahIM aate| AzA hai ki hamArI rAma kahAnI para ApakI svabhAva siddha evaM kulaparamparAgata dayA umar3a par3egI, anyathA aba hamArA nirvAha honA asambhava hai| vizeSa aba kucha nahIM kahanA caahte| jo kucha vaktavya thA saba hI Apake punIta caraNameM rakha diyaa| sAtha hI yaha nivedana kara denA bhI samucita samajhate haiM ki Apa loga zArIrika athavA Arthika jo kucha bhI daNDa deveMge use hama sahana kreNge| prAyazcita vidhimeM yadi upavAsa Adi deveMge to unheM bhI saharSa svIkRta kreNge|......itnaa kahate-kahate unakA galA ruMdha gayA aura A~khoMse azru chalaka pdd'e| dasa hajAra janatA sunakara avAk raha gii| sabane eka svarase kahA ki 'yadi ye zuddha haiM aura dassAke vaMzaja nahIM haiM to inheM jAtimeM milA lenA hI zreyaskara hai, yaha phaisalA avilamba ho jAnA caahiye| thor3I derake bAda mukhya-mukhya paJcoMne ekAntameM parAmarza kiyaa| bahutoMne virodha aura bahutoMne avirodha rUpameM apane-apane vicAra vyakta kiye / antameM yaha nirNaya huA ki itanI zuddhi kara lenA caahiye| parantu zuddhike pahale aparAdhakA nirNaya ho jAnA Avazyaka hai| pazcAt inheM zuddha kara lenA caahiye| inase dasa hajAra kuNDalapura kSetrako aura tIna paMgata prAnta bharake paJcoMko lenA caahiye| yaha nirNayakara paJca logoMne Ama janatAke samakSa apanA mantavya prakAzita kara diyaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #199
merI jIvanagAthA 174 isa AjJAke sunate hI raghunAthadAsa nArAyaNadAsa modIne kahA-'hameM svIkAra hai, kintu hamArI yaha namra prArthanA hai ki hameM AjJA dI jAve ki hama nirNaya karaneke lie paJcoMko kaba ekatrita kreN|' itanemeM eka vRddha paJcane anya paJca mahAzayoMse kahA-'Apane jo nirNaya kiyA hai vaha ThIka hai| parantu yaha paJcAyata golAlAre paJcoMke samakSa honA cAhiye, anyathA unake dasa hajAra rupaye bhI jAveMge aura jAtimeM bhI nahIM mila skeNge| ApameM itanI udAratA nahIM ki jisase unake bAla-baccoMke vivAha AdikI suvidhA ho ske| Apa logoMke hRdaya atyanta saMkIrNa ho cuke haiN| Apane jAtike lie mokSamArga kA avalambana kara rakkhA hai| Apa saMvara jAnate haiM, ataH Asavako roka diyA hai| jo hai unakI kAla pAkara nirjarA avazyaMbhAvI hai, ataH kucha kAlameM jAtikA mokSa honA anivArya hai| vizeSa kahanese Apa loga kupita ho jaaveNge| basa, unheM AjJA dIjiye ki zuddhike lie apanI jAtike paJcoMko bulaaveN| jo nirNaya paJca loga deveMge, hameM arthAt paravAra aura golApUrvoko mAnya hogaa| yaha sunakara raghunAthadAsa nArAyaNadAsa modIko bahuta kheda huA, kyoMki vaha jisa kAryake lie Aye the vaha nahIM huaa| maiM bhI vahIM para baiThA thaa| maiMne kahA-'udAsa mata hoo, prayatna karo, avazya hI saphala hoge|' paNDita mUlacandrajI bilauA, jo ki jAtike golAlAre haiM, ko bhI hArdika vedanA huI; kyoMki unakI bhI yahI icchA thI ki itane bandhugaNa akAraNa hI jAtise cyuta kyoM raheM ? maiMne una sabako samajhAyA ki 'buDDhe paJcane jo kahA hai vaha bilkula ThIka kahA hai| mAna lo paravAroM yA golApUrvone tumheM zuddha kara bhI liyA to bhI jAtike binA tumhArA nirvAha na hogaa| vivAha Adi to tumhArI jAtivAloMke hI sAtha ho sakeMge, ataH tuma ghara jaao| ATha dina bAda hama tumhAre grAmameM Akara isa bAtakI mImAMsA kreNge| cintA karanekI bAta nhiiN| vIra prabhukI kRpAse saba acchA hI hogaa| paJcakalyANaka dekhakara ve apane ghara cale gaye aura maiM zrImAn bAbA gokulacandrajIke sAtha kuNDalapura calA gyaa| zrImAn bAbA gokulacandrajI bAbA gokulacandrajI eka advitIya tyAgI the| Apa hI ke udyogase indaurameM udAsInAzramakI sthApanA huI thii| jaba Apa indaura gaye aura janatAke samakSa tyAgiyoMkI vartamAna dazAkA citra khIMcA taba zrImAn sara seTha hukamacandrajI For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #200
zrImAn bAbA gokulacandrajI 175 rakamA ki zrI kuNDalaputaH Apa sivanI, nAva sAhaba ekadama prabhAvita ho gaye aura Apa tInoM bhAiyoMne dasa-dasa hajArakI rakamase indaurameM eka udAsInAzrama sthApita kara diyaa| parantu ApakI bhAvanA yaha thI ki zrI kuNDalapura kSetra para zrImahAvIra svAmIke pAdamUlameM AzramakI sthApanA honA cAhie, ataH Apa sivanI, nAgapura, chiMdavAr3A, jabalapura, kaTanI, damoha Adi sthAnoMpara gaye aura apanA mantavya prakaTa kiyaa| janatA Apake mantavyase sahamata huI aura usane bAraha hajArakI Ayase kuNDalapurameM eka udAsInAzramakI sthApanA kara dii| Apa bahuta hI asAdhAraNa vyakti the| Apake eka suputra bhI thA jo ki Aja prasiddha vidvAnoMkI gaNanAmeM hai| usakA nAma zrI paM. jaganmohanalAlajI zAstrI hai| inake dvArA kaTanI pAThazAlA sAnanda cala rahI hai tathA khuraI gurukula aura varNIgurukula jabalapurake ye adhiSThAtA haiN| __inake liye zrIsiMghaI giradhArIlAlajI apanI dukAna para kucha dravya jamA kara gaye haiN| usIke byAjase ye apanA nirvAha karate haiN| ye bahata hI santoSI aura pratibhAzAlI vidvAn haiN| vratI, dayAlu aura vivekI bhI haiN| yadyapi siM. kanhaiyAlAlajIkA svargavAsa ho gayA hai phira bhI unakI dukAnake mAlika ci. sa. siM. dhanyakumAra jayakumAra haiN| ve unheM acchI taraha mAnate haiM aura unake pUrvaja paNDitajIke viSayameM jo nirNaya kara gaye the, usakA pUrNarUpase pAlana karate haiN| vidvAnoMkA sthitIkaraNa kaisA karanA cAhiye, yaha inake parivArase sIkhA jA sakatA hai| ci. dhanyakumAra vidyAkA premI hI nahIM, vidyAkA vyasanI bhI hai| yaha AnuSaMgika bAta A gii| maiMne kuNDalapura zrIbAbA gokulacandrajIse prArthanA kI ki 'mahArAja ! mujhe saptamI pratimAkA vrata diijiye| maiMne bahuta dina se niyama kara liyA thA ki maiM saptamI pratimAkA pAlana karU~gA aura yadyapi apane niyamake anusAra do varSase usakA pAlana bhI kara rahA hU~ to bhI gurusAkSI pUrvaka vrata lenA ucita hai| maiM jaba banArasa thA, usa samaya bhI yahI vicAra AyA ki kisIkI sAkSI pUrvaka vrata lenA acchA hai, ataH maiMne zrI bra. zItalaprasAdajI lakhanaUko isa AzayakA tAra diyA ki Apa zIghra AveM, maiM saptamI pratimA ApakI sAkSImeM lenA cAhatA huuN| Apa Agaye aura bole-'dekho, hamArA tumhArA kaI bAtoMmeM matabheda hai| yadi kabhI vivAda ho gayA to acchA nhiiN| hama cupa raha gye| hamArA eka mitra motIlAla brahmacArI thA jo kucha dina bAda IDarakA bhaTTAraka ho gayA thaa| usane bhI kahA-'ThIka hai, tuma yahA~ para yaha pratimA na lo| isImeM tumhArA For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #201
merI jIvanagAthA 176 kalyANa hai| hamane mitrakI bAta svIkAra kara unase vrata nahIM liyaa| aba Apa hamAre pUjya haiM tathA ApameM merI bhakti hai, ataH vrata diijie|' bAbAjIne kahA-'acchA Aja hI vrata le lo| prathama to zrI vIraprabhukI pUjA kro| pazcAt Ao, vrata diyA jaavegaa|' _ maiMne Anandase zrI vIraprabhukI pUjA kii| anantara bAbAjIne vidhipUrvaka mujhe saptamI pratimAke vrata diye| maiMne akhila brahmacAriyoMse icchAkAra kiyA aura yaha nivedana kiyA ki 'maiM alpazaktivAlA kSudra jIva huuN| Apa logoMke sahavAsameM isa vratakA abhyAsa karanA cAhatA huuN| AzA hai merI namra prArthanA para Apa logoMkI anukampA hogii| maiM yathAzakti Apa logoMkI sevA karanemeM sannaddha rhuuNgaa|' sabane harSa prakaTa kiyA aura unake samparkameM Anandase kAla jAne lgaa| paJcoMkA darabAra eka dina maiMne bAbA gokulacandrajIse kahA-'mahArAja ! bar3agA~vake Asa-pAsa bahutase golAlAroMke ghara apanI jAtise bAhya haiN| yadi ApakA bihAra usa kSetrameM ho jAya to unakA uddhAra sahaja hI ho jaay| maiM ApakI sevA karaneke liye sAtha clNgaa|' bAbAjIne svIkAra kiyaa| hama loga bAMdakapura sTezanase relameM baiThakara salaiyA A gaye, vahA~se 3 ghaNTemeM bar3agA~va pahu~ca gye| sAgarase paM. mUlacandrajI, kaTanIse paM. bAbUlAlajI, rIThIse zrI siM. lakSmaNadAsajI tathA raipurAse lazkariyA Adi bahutase sajjana gaNa bhI A phuuNce| siMghaI pyArelAla kundIlAlajI vahA~ para the hii| raghunAtha nArAyaNadAsa modIse hama logoMne kahA ki 'sAyaMkAla paJcAyata bulAnekA Ayojana kro|' unhoMne vaisA hI kiyaa| hama logoMne bAbAjIkI chatrachAyAmeM sAmAyika kii| rAtrike ATha baje saba mahAzaya ekatra ho gye| maiMne kahA-'isa grAmameM jo sabase vRddha ho use bhI bulaao| raghunAtha modI svayaM gaye aura eka lodhIko jisakI avasthA 80 varSake lagabhaga hogI, sAtha le aaye| grAmake aura loga bhI paMcAyata dekhaneke liye aaye| zrI bAbA gokulacandrajI sarvasammatise sabhApati cune gaye / yahA~ sabhApatise tAtparya sarapaJcakA hai| maiMne grAmake paJca saradAroMse namra zabdoMmeM nivedana kiyA ki-'yaha duHkhamaya saMsAra hai| isameM jIva nAnA duHkhoMke pAtra hote hue caturgatimeM bhramaNa karate-karate bar3e puNyase manuSya janma pAte haiN| manuSyagatimeM utpanna hokara bhI jainakulameM janma pAnA catuSpathake ratnakI taraha parama durlabha hai| Aja raghunAtha modI jainakulameM janma lekara bhI 50 varSase jAtibAhya honeke kAraNa saba dharmakAryoMse vaJcita rahate haiM, For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #202
paJcoMkA darabAra 177 ataH ina sabakA uddhAra kara Apa loga yazobhAgI huujiye| mere kahanekA yaha tAtparya nahIM ki inheM nirNayake binA hI jAtimeM milA liyA jaave| kintu nirNayakI kasauTImeM yadi ve uttIrNa ho jAveM to milAnemeM kyA kSati hai....?' itanA kahakara maiM cupa ho gyaa| anantara zrImAn pyArelAlajI siMghaI, jo isa prAntake mukhya paJca the aura paJca hI nahIM, sampanna tathA bahukuTumbI the, bole-'Apa loga hamako bhraSTa karaneke liye Aye haiN| jina kuTumboMko Apa milAnA cAhate haiM unakI jAtikA patA nhiiN| ina logoMne jo golAlAroMke gotroMke nAma batAkara apaneko golAlAre vaMzakA siddha kiyA hai vaha saba kalpita caritra hai| Apa loga tyAgI haiN| kucha laukika maryAdA to jAnate nhiiN| kevala zAstrako par3hakara paropakArakI kathA jAnate haiN| yadi laukika bAtoMkA paricaya Apa logoMko hotA to hameM bhraSTa karanekI ceSTA na krte| tathA Apane jo kahA ki kasauTIkI kasameM yadi uttIrNa ho jAveM to inakI zuddhi kara lo, ThIka khaa| parantu yaha to jAnate haiM ki kasauTI para sonA kasA jAtA hai, pItala nahIM kasA jaataa| isa prakAra yadi ve golAlAre hote to zuddha kiye jaate| inake kalpita caritrase hama loga inheM zuddha karanekI ceSTAmeM kadApi zAmila nahIM ho skte|' isake anantara saba paJcoMmeM kAnAphUsI hone lagI tathA kaI paJca uThane lge| maiMne kahA-'mahAnubhAvoM ! aisI utAvalI karanA uttama nahIM, nirNaya kiijiye| yadi ye golAlAre na nikale to inakI zuddhi to dUra rahI, adAlatameM nAliza kiijiye| inhoMne hama logoMko dhokhA diyA hai| isake anantara bAkalavAle tathA rIThIvAle siMghaI bole-'ThIka hai, maiM to yaha jAnatA hU~ ki jaba ye hamAre yahA~ jAte haiM taba jainamandirake darzana karate haiM aura nirantara hamase yahI kahate haiM ki hamAre pUrvajoMne aisA kaunasA gurutama aparAdha kiyA ki jisase hama saikar3oM nara-nArI dharmase vaJcita rahate haiN| bAkalavAloMne bhI isIkA samarthana kiyA tathA raipurAvAle lazkariyA bhI isI pakSameM rhe| isake bAda maiMne usa 80 varSake vRddhase kahA ki bAbA ApakI Ayu to 80 varSakI hai aura yaha ghaTanA pacAsa varSakI hI hai, ataH Apako to saba kucha patA hogaa| kRpAkara kahiye ki kyA bAta hai ? __vRddha bolA-'maiM kahatA hU~, parantu Apa loga parasparake vaimanasyameM usa tattvakA anAdara na kara denaa| paMca vahI hai jo nyAya kre| pakSapAtase grasita hai usase yathArtha nirNaya nahIM hotA tathA paMca vahI hai jo svayaM nirdoSa ho, anyathA vaha doSako chipAnekI ceSTA kregaa| sAtha hI rizvata na letA ho aura hRdayakA vizAla ho| jo svayaM For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #203
merI jIvanagAthA 178 hI ina doSoMse lipta hogA vaha anyako zuddha karanemeM samartha na hogaa| astu, Apa logoMkI jo icchA ho-jaisA Apake mastiSkameM Ave vaisI paMcAyata krnaa| maiM to jo jAnatA hU~ vaha Apake samakSa nivedana karatA huuN| pacAsa varSa pahalekI bAta hai| raghunAtha modIke pitAne eka bAra jAti bhoja kiyA thaa| usameM kaI grAmake loga ekatra hue the| paMgatake bAda inake pitAne paMca logoMse yaha bhAvanA prakaTa kI ki yahA~ yadi mandira bana jAve to acchA ho| sabane svIkAra kiyaa| davAta kalama kAgaja ma~gAyA gyaa| candA likhanA prArambha huaa| sabase acchI rakama raghunAtha modIke pitAne likhaayii| eka grAmINa manuSyane candA nahIM likhaayaa| usapara inake pitA bole-'khAneko to zUra hai para candA denemeM aanaakaanii|' isapara paJca loga kupita hokara uThane lge| jaise-taise antameM yaha paMcAyata huI ki cU~ki raghunAthake pitAne eka garIbakI tauhInI kI, ataH do sau rupayA mandirako aura eka pakkA bhojana paJcoMko deveM, nahIM to jAtimeM inheM na bulAyA jaave| bahuta kahA~ taka kaheM ? yaha apanI akar3ameM A gaye aura na daNDa diyA na paMgata hii| yaha vicAra karate rahe ki hama dhanADhya haiM, hamArA koI kyA kara sakatA hai ? antameM phala yaha huA ki cAra varSa bIta gaye, unheM koI bhI birAdarI nahIM bulAtA thA aura na koI unake yahA~ AtA thaa| jaba lar3ake zAdIke yogya hue taba cintAmeM par3a gye| jisase kaheM vahI uttara deve ki jaba pahile apane prAntake sAtha vyavahAra ho jAve tabhI hama Apake sAtha vivAha sambandha kara sakate haiM, anyathA nhiiN| vaha vahA~se calakara panAgara, jo ki jabalapurake pAsa hai, phuNce| vahA~ para pratiSThA thii| vahA~ bhI inhoMne paJcoMse khaa| unhoMne yahI kahA ki 'cUMki tumane paJcoMkI tauhInI kI hai, ataH yaha paJcAyata AjJA detI hai ki 200) ke sthAnameM 500) daNDa aura 1 paMgatake sthAnameM 2 paMgata pakkI ho....yahI tumhArA daNDa hai| inhoMne svIkAra kiyA ki hama jAkara zIghra hI paJcoMkI AjJAke anukUla daNDa dekara jAtimeM mila jaaveNge| vahA~ to kaha Aye para Akara dhanake nazAmeM masta ho gaye aura paMgata tathA daNDa kucha bhI nahIM diyaa| aba yaha cintA huI ki lar3ake lar3akiyoMkA vivAha kisa prakAra kiyA jAve ? taba yaha upAya kiyA ki jo garIba jainI the unheM pU~jI dekara apane anukUla banA liyA aura unake sAtha vivAha kara cintAse mukta ho gye| mandira jAnekA koI pratibandha thA nahIM, isase inhoMne usa ora vizeSa dhyAna nahIM diyaa| isa taraha yaha apanI saMkhyA ghaTAte gaye jo For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #204
paJcoMkA darabAra 179 ki Aja 50 gharake hI andAja rahe hoNge| yaha to inake pitAkI bAta rahI, para inameM jo raghunAthadAsa nArAyaNadAsa modI haiM vaha bhadra prakRti haiN| isakI yaha bhAvanA huI ki maiM aparAdhI hU~ nahIM, ataH jAtibAhya rahakara dharmakAryoMse vaMcita rahanA acchA nhiiN| isIlie yaha kaI grAmakA jamIMdAra hokara bhI daur3a-dhUpa dvArA jAtimeM milAnekI ceSTA kara rahA hai| yaha bhI isakA bhAva hai ki maiM eka mandira banavAkara paMcakalyANaka pratiSThA karAU~ tathA aisA zubha avasara mujhe kaba prApta ho ki mere gharapara virAdarIke manuSyoMke bhojana ho aura pAtrAdikoMko AhAradAna dekara nija jIvana saphala kruuN.....| yaha inakI kathA hai| AzA hai Apa paJca loga isakA gambhIra dRSTise nyAya kreNge| zrI siM. pyArelAlajIne jo kahA hai vaha ThIka nahIM hai, kyoMki unakI Ayu 40 varSakI hI hai aura maiM jo kaha rahA hU~ .use 50 varSa ho gye| mujhe raghunAthase kucha dravya to lenA nahIM aura na mujhe inake yahA~ bhojana karanA hai, ataH mithyA bhASaNa kara pAtakI nahIM bananA caahtaa| sabake liye vRddha bAbAkI kathAmeM satyatAkA paricaya huaa| parantu pyArelAla siMghaI Tasase masa nahIM hue| antameM paJca loga uThane lage, to maiMne kahA ki yaha ThIka nahIM, kucha nirNaya kiye binA uTha jAnA nyAyake viruddha hai| vahA~para eka golAlAre baiThe the| unhoMne kahA ki 'maiM jala-vihAra karatA hU~, usameM prAnta bharake saba golAlAre bulAye jAveM tathA paravAra aura golApUrva bhI bulAye jaaveN| ciTThImeM yaha bhI likhAyA jAve ki isa utsavameM raghunAtha modIko zuddha karanekA vicAra hogA, ataH saba bhAiyoMko avazya AnA cAhie aura inake viSayameM jise jo bhI jJAta ho vaha sAmagrI sAtha lAnA caahie| yaha bAta sabako pasanda aaii| parantu jisake yahA~ jala-vihAra honA thA vaha bahuta garIba thaa| usane kevala dayAke vegameM jalayAtrA svIkAra kara lI thI, ataH maiMne raghunAtha modIse kahA ki 'Apa ise tIna sau rupayA de deveN|' unhoMne nanu naca kiye binA tIna sau rupaye de diye| isake bAda maiMne kahA ki 'tuma bhI do paMgatoMkA kaccA sAmAna taiyAra rkhnaa| sambhava hai tumhArI kAmanA saphala ho jAya / ' yaha kahakara hama loga kaTanI cale gye| kaTanI ke paNDita bAbUlAlajI prayatnazIla vyakti the| inake sAtha paraspara vicAra kiyA ki cAhe kucha bhI ho, parantu ina logoMko jAtimeM milA lenekA pUrNa prayatna karanA hai| yadi ye loga kucha dina aura na milAye gaye to For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #205
merI jIvanagAthA 180 jAticyuta ho jaayeNge| vicAra to kiyA para jaba kucha upAya na sUjhA to antameM yaha nirNaya kiyA ki inakI jAtikA paTiyA-gotrakI paramparA jAnanevAlA bulAyA jaave| baruAsAgarake pAsa mar3iyA gA~va hai| vahA~se paTiyA bulAyA gayA aura usase inakI vaMzAvalI pUchI gii| usane kaNThasthakI taraha inakI vaMzAvalI batA dii| eka Adi gotrakA antara par3A vaha sudhAra diyA gyaa| cAra dina bAda ciTThI A gaI ki amuka dina bar3agA~vameM jalavihAra hai| do paMgateM hoNgii| Apa loga goTa sahita pdhaareN| isameM raghunAtha modIkI paMcAyata bhI hogii| hamane sAgarase pyArelAla malaiyA, paM. munnAlAlajI tathA paM. mUlacandrajI suparinTenDenTako bhI bulA liyaa| kaTanIse paNDita bAbUlAlajI, zrI khuzAlacandrajI golAlAre, zrImAn bAbA gokulacandrajI, zrI amaracandra tathA anya tyAgIgaNa, rIThIse lakSmaNa siMghaI aura bAkalake kaI bhAI isa prakAra hama loga bar3agA~va pahu~ca gye| khedake sAtha likhanA par3atA hai ki hameM jo ciTThI dI gaI thI vaha eka dina vilambase dI gaI thI, ataH hama dUsare dina taba pahu~ca sake jabaki jalavihAra samApta ho cukA thA, vimAna maNDapameM jA rahA thA aura vahA~ pahu~caneke bAda hI loga apane-apane ghara jAneke udyamameM laga jaate| kevala maNDapa aura jinendradeva hI vahA~ raha jaate| usa samaya mere manameM eka anokhI sUjha utthii| maiMne gAnevAlese kahA ki 'tU peTake dardakA bahAnA kara DerA para calA jaa| terA jo ThaharA hogA vaha maiM duuNgaa|' vaha calA gayA, ataH vimAna pandraha minaTameM hI maMDapameM pahu~ca gyaa| maiMne jhaTa zAstrapravacanakA prabandha kara paM. mUlacandrajIko baiThA diyA aura dhIrese kaha diyA ki Apa ghaNTAmeM hI pUrNa kara denA tathA raghunAtha modIse kahA ki yadi Apa jAtimeM milanA cAhate haiM to kuTumba sahita maNDapake sAmane khar3e ho jAo aura Apa tathA nArAyaNa donoM hI paJcoMke samakSa hAtha jor3akara kaho ki yA to hameM jAtimeM milAo yA ekadama pRthak kara jaao| hama bahuta duHkhI haiN| hamArI vyathA para Apa eka rAtrikA samaya denekA kaSTa kreN| raghunAtha modIne hamArI bAta svIkAra kara lI aura zAstra pravacanake bAda jaba paJca loga jAneko prastuta hue, taba raghunAtha modIne bar3I vinayake sAtha prArthanA kI, jisase saba loga ruka gaye aura sabane yaha pratijJA kI ki raghunAtha modIkA nirNaya karake hI Aja maNDapa tyaageNge| For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #206
paJcoMkA darabAra 181 paJcAyata prArambha ho gii| grAmake anya birAdarIke loga bhI bulAye gye| prathama hI zrI mUlacandrajI bilauAne prastAva kiyA ki 'Aja jIvanamaraNakA prazna hai, ataH saba bhAiyoMko parasparakA vaimanasya bhUla jAnA caahie| aparAdha sabase hotA hai| usakI kSamA hI karanI par3atI hai| aparAdhiyoMkI koI pRthak nagarI nhiiN| vaise to saMsAra hI aparAdhiyoMkA ghara hai| aparAdhase jo zUnya ho jAtA hai vaha yahA~ rahatA hI nahIM, mukti nagarIko calA jAtA hai| isake anantara zrImAna malaiyAjI bole ki 'bAta to ThIka hai, parantu nirNaya chAnabIna kara hI honA caahie| ataH merI namra prArthanA hai ki jo mahAzaya isa viSayako jAnate hoM ve zuddha hRdayase isa viSayako spaSTa kreN| isake bAda pyArelAla siMghaI bole ki 'bahuta ThIka hai, parantu jinakA pacAsa varSase golAlAroMke sAtha koI sambandha nahIM unake viSayameM paJcAyata karanA kahA~taka saMgata hai ? so Apa hI jaaneN| inake bhatIje bhI inhIMke pakSameM bole| maiMne kahA-'ApakA kahanA nyAyasaMgata hai; kintu koI manuSya assI varSakA isa viSayako jAnatA ho aura niSpakSa bhAvase kahatA ho to nirNaya honemeM kyA Apatti hai ?' zrI siMghaIjI bole-'vaha assI varSakA vRddha golAlAre jAtikA honA caahie|' yaha sunakara upasthita mahAnubhAvoMmeM bahuta kSobha huaa| saba mahAzaya eka svarase bola uThe-'siMghaIjIkA bolanA anyAyapUrNa hai| koI jAtikA ho, isa viSayameM jo niSpakSa bhAvase kahegA vaha hama logoMko mAnya hogaa| hama nyAya karaneke Aye haiN| Aja nyAya karake hI Asana chodd'eNge|' itanemeM vaha vRddha, jo ki pichalI paMcAyatameM AyA thA, bolaneko udyamI haa| vaha bolA-'paJca logoM ! maiMne pahalI hI sabhAmeM kaha diyA thA ki raghunAtha modIke pUrvajoMne haTha kI aura paJcoMke phaisalA ko nahIM maanaa| usIke phalasvarupa Aja usakI santAnakI yaha durdazA ho rahI hai| yaha santAna nirdoSa hai tathA isake pUrvaja bhI nirdoSa the| yadi Apa loga inheM na milAveMge to ye kevala jAtise hI cyuta na hoMge, varana dharma bhI parivartana kara leNge| saMsAra apAra hai| isameM nAnA prakRtike manuSya rahate haiN| binA saMghaTanake saMsArameM kisI bhI vyaktikA nirvAha nahIM hotA, ataH inheM Apa loga apnaaveN| jabaki paJcoMne inakI paMgata lenA svIkAra kI thI taba yaha binaikA nahIM, yaha to apane Apa siddha ho jAtA hai| basa, adhika bolanA acchA nahIM smjhtaa|' paJcoMne vRddha bAbAkI kathAkA vizvAsa kiyaa| kevala pyArelAla siMghaIko vRddhakA kahanA rucikara nahIM huA, uThakara ghara cale gye| maiMne bahuta rokA, para For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #207
merI jIvanagAthA 182 eka na sunii| manameM khuzI huI ki acchA huA vidhana ttlaa| parantu phira vicAra AyA ki raghunAtha modIkA nirvAha to inhIMmeM hogA, anya logoMke milA lenese kyA hogA ? itane meM hI eka mahAzaya bole- kyA yaha samaya sonekA hai ? nidrA bhaMga ho gii| paJca loga paraspara vicAra meM nimagna the hii| antameM yaha taya kiyA ki raghunAtha modIko milA liyA jaave| isIke bIca paM. bAbUlAlajI kaTanI bola uThe ki pahale paTiyA bulAyA jAya aura usake dvArA inake gotroMkI parIkSA kI jaave| yadi gotra ThIka nikaleM to milAnemeM kauna-sI Apatti hai ?' inakI bAta sakala paJcoMne svIkRta kii| eka mahAzaya bole ki 'siMghaI pyArelAlako bulAyA jaave|' maiM bar3A cintita huA ki he bhagavan ! kyA hone-vAlA hai ? antameM jo vyakti bulAneke lie bhejA gayA, mere sAtha usakA paricaya thaa| maiM pezAbake bahAne bAhara gayA aura usase kaha AyA ki 'tU siMghaIke ghara na jAnA bIcase hI lauTa AnA aura paJcoMko uttara denA ki siMghaI pyArelAlajIne kahA hai ki hama aise anyAya karanevAle paJcoMmeM nahIM AnA caahte|' itanA kahakara vaha to siMghaIjIke gharakI ora gayA aura maiM paJca logoMmeM zAmila ho gyaa| itanemeM zrI pyArelAlajI malaiyA bole ki-'mahAnubhAva ! Aja hamArI jAtikI saMkhyA caudaha lAkha mAtra raha gii| yadi isI tarahakI paddhati Apa logoMkI rahI to kyA hogA ? so kucha samajhameM nahIM AtA, ataH isameM vilamba karanekI koI bAta nhiiN| raghunAtha modIko jAtimeM milAyA jAve aura daNDake evajameM inase 2 paMgateM lI jAveM tathA jAtike bAlakoMke par3haneke liye eka vidyAlaya sthApita karAyA jaave|' isa para bahutase mahAnubhAvoMne sammati dI aura paM. mUlacandrajIko bhI atyanta harSa huaa| vaha bole-'kevala vidyAlayase kucha na hogA, sAthameM eka chAtrAvAsa bhI honA Avazyaka hai| yaha prAnta vidyAse pichar3A hai| yadyapi kaTanImeM vidyAlaya hai| phira bhI jo atyanta garIba haiM unakA bAhara jAnA ati kaThina hai| unake mA~-bApa unheM kaTanI taka bhejanemeM bhI asamartha haiN|' mUlacandrajIkI bAta sabane svIkAra kii| anantara raghunAtha modIse pUchA gayA ki kyA Apako svIkAra hai ? unhoMne kahA-maiM svIkAra Adi bAta to nahIM jAnatA, dasa hajAra rupayA de sakatA huuN| unase cAhe Apa vidyAlaya banavAveM, cAhe chAtrAvAsa bnvaaveN| saba loga yaha bAta kara hI rahe the ki itanemeM jo AdamI pyArelAla For Personal & Private Use Only

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paJcoMkA darabAra 183 siMghaIko bulAneke liye gayA thA vaha Akara paJca logoMse kahane lagA ki pyArelAla siMghaIne kahA hai- 'hama aisI anyAyakI paJcAyatameM zAmila nahIM honA cAhate / .... yaha sunakara paJca logoMkI tevarI badala gaI aura saba eka mukhase kahane lage ki pyArelAlake sAtha vyavahAra karanA ucita nhiiN|' maiMne kahA- 'AvegameM Akara usane kaha diyA hogA, mApha kiyA jaave| athavA eka bAra phirase bulAyA jaave| yadi isa bAra na AveM to jo Apako ucita mAlUma ho, karanA / ' phira AdamI bhejA gyaa| maiMne bAhara jAkara usase kaha diyA ki jAkara siMghaIjI se bolo - 'yadi paJcoMmeM zAmila na hooge to jAticyuta kara diye jaaoge| vaha AdamI pyArelAlajIke ghara gayA aura jIbhara unase bolA ki paJca loga Apase sakhta nArAja haiM, Apako bulAyA, Apa nahIM pahu~ce, isakI koI bAta nahIM / parantu yaha kahanA ki anyAyakI paJcAyata hai, kyA tumheM ucita thA ? pyArelAla zapatha khAne lage ki mere ghara to koI AyA hI nahIM / yaha bAta kisane paidA kI ? astu, jo huA so ThIka hai, zIghra clo| isake bAda pyArelAlajI vahA~ pahu~ca gaye, paJcoMne khUba DA~TA / vaha kucha kahaneko hue ki itanemeM vaha AdamI, jo ki bulAneke liye gayA thA, bola uThA - 'acchA Apane nahIM kahA thA ki hama paJcAyatameM nahIM jaate| vahA~ guTabandI karake anyAyapUrNa paJcAyata kara rahe haiM ?' pyolAlajIko bahuta hI zarmindA honA par3A / paJcoMne kahA- 'raghunAtha modIke viSayameM ApakI kyA sammati hai ?' unhoMne kahA - 'paJca loga jo phaisalA deveMge vaha hameM zirasA mAnya hai / yadi paJca mahAzaya unake yahA~ kala hI bhojana karaneke lie prastuta hoM to maiM bhI Apa logoM meM sammilita rahU~gA, parantu aba mahInoM TAlanA ucita nahIM / ' 1 hama manameM bahuta harSita hue| aba paJcoMne milakara yaha phaisalA kara diyA ki 'do sau pacAsa paravAra sabhAko, do sau pacAsa golApUrva sabhAko, do sau pacAsa golAlAre sabhAko, do sau pacAsa nainAgira kSetrako, dasa hajAra vidyAlayako tathA do paMgata yadi raghunAtha modI saharSa svIkAra kareM to kala hI paMgata lekara jAtimeM milA liyA jAve aura daNDakA rupayA nakada liyA jAve evaM prAtaHkAla hI paMgata ho jAve, phira kabhI paJca jur3anekI AvazyakatA nahIM / ' isa phaisaleko sunakara raghunAtha modI aura unake bhAI nArAyaNadAsajI modI pulakita badana ho gye| unhoMne usI samaya gyAraha hajAra lAkara paJcoMke samakSa rakha diye| paJcoMne milakara raghunAtha modIko maya kuTumba gale lagAyA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 184 aura AjJA dI ki prAtaHkAla hI sahabhoja ho| isa paJcAyatameM prAtaHkAla ho gyaa| paJcAyatase uThakara hama, bAbA gokulacandrajI tathA anya tyAgIvarga sAmAyika karaneke liye cale gaye aura anya paJca loga zaucAdi kriyAke liye bAhara gye| do ghaNTAke bAda mandirameM zrImAn bAbAjIkA prabhAvazAlI pravacana huaa| anantara saba loga apane-apane sthAnoM para cale gye| jahA~ hama Thahare the vahIM para raghunAthakI bahinane bhojana bnaayaa| dasa bajeke bAda bhojana ho gyaa| paMgatakA bulauA huaa| paJca loga A gye| sAnanda bhojana parosA gayA, para bhojana karanemeM eka dUsarekA mukha tAkane lge| yaha dekha bAbAjIne kahA ki 'mukha tAkanekI kyA bAta hai ? pahale to hama loga unakI bahina, strI Adike dvArA banAyA bhojana karake yahA~ Aye haiN| isa bAta ko paM. munnAlAlajI acchI taraha jAnate haiN| paM. munnAlAlajI ne bhI kahA ki 'maiM bhI usa bhojanameM zAmila thA, ataH Apa niHsaMkoca bhojana kiijiye| saba loga phira bhI hicakicAte rhe| itanemeM zrIyuta malaiyA pyArelAlajI sAgarane grAsa uThAyA aura jinendradevakI jaya bolate hue bhojana zurU kara diyaa| phira kyA thA saba Anandase bhojana karane lge| bIcameM raghunAthadAsako bhI zAmila kara liyaa| dUsare dina dAla, bhAta, kar3hI aura sAga pUr3IkA bhojana huaa| isa taraha paJca logoMne 50 varSase cyuta eka kuTumbakA uddhAra kara diyaa| ekakA hI nahIM, unake Azrita pratyeka kuTumboMkA uddhAra ho gyaa| yaha saba kANDa samApta honeke bAda maiM zrIyutta bAbAjIke sAtha kuNDalapura calA gyaa| bAbAjIkI mere Upara nirantara anukampA rahatI thii| unakA Adeza thA ki-jainadharma AtmAkA kalyANa karanemeM eka hI hai, ataH jahA~ taka tumase bana sake, niSkapaTa bhAvase isakA pAlana karanA aura yathAzakti isakA pracAra krnaa| hamArI avasthA to vRddha ho gaI ! hamAre bAda yaha Azrama calanA kaThina hai, kyoMki isameM jitane tyAgI haiM unameM saMcAlanakI zakti nhiiN| tuma isa yogya kucha ho, parantu tuma itane sthira nahIM ki eka sthAnapara raha sko| kahIM raho, parantu AtmakalyANase vaJcita na rhnaa| tumhAre sAtha jo bAbA bhAgIrathajI hai vaha eka ratna hai| unakA sAtha na chor3anA tathA jisa ciroMjAbAIne tumheM putravat pAlA hai usakI anta samaya taka sevA krnaa| kRtajJatA hI manuSyatA kI jananI hai| hama yahI AzIrvAda dete haiM ki sumArga ke bhAgI hoo| kalyANakA mUla kAraNa nirIhavRtti hai| 'nivRttirUpaM ytstttvm|' vizeSa kyA kaheM ? jahA~ icchA ho, jaao| maiM praNAmakara sAgara calA gayA aura Anandase jIvana bitAne lgaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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dharmakA ThekedAra koI nahIM 185 dharmakA ThekedAra koI nahIM baruAsAgarase tAra AyA ki Apa bAIjIko lekara zIghra hI AveM / yahA~ sarrApha mUlacandrajIke putraratna huA hai| tAra hI nahIM, leneke liye eka munIma bhI A phuNcaa| hama aura bAIjI munImake sAtha baruAsAgara pahu~ca gye| mUlacandrajI sarrAphake koI uttarAdhikArI nahIM thA, ataH sadA cintita rahate the, para aba sATha varSakI avasthAmeM putraratnake utpanna honese unakI prasannatAkA ThikAnA na rhaa| bAIjIne kahA-'bhaiyA ! kucha dAna kro| usI samaya pacAsa mana gehU~ garIboMko bA~Ta diyA gayA tathA mandirameM zrIjIkA vidhAna kraayaa| gyAraha dinake bAda nAma-saMskAra kiyA gyaa| pUjana-vidhAna sampanna ho jAneke bAda sau nAma kAgajake Tukar3oMmeM likhakara eka thAlImeM rakha diye| anantara pA~ca varSakI eka kanyAse kahA ki inameMse eka kAgajakI pur3iyA nikaalo| vaha nikAle aura usImeM DAla deve| caturtha bAra usase kahA ki pur3iyA thAlIke bAhara DAla do| jaba use kholA to usameM zreyAnsakumAra nAma niklaa| aba kyA thA ? saba loga kahane lage ki 'dekho, varNIjIko pahalese hI jJAna thA, anyathA Apane nau mAsa pahale jo kahA thA ki sarrApha mUlacandrajIke bAlaka hogA aura usakA nAma zreyAnsakumAra hogA......saca kaise nikalatA ? ityAdi zabdoM dvArA bahuta prazaMsA karane lge| para maiMne kahA-'bhAI logoM ! maiM to kucha nahIM jAnatA thaa| yaha to ghuNAkSaranyAyase satya nikala aayaa| Apa logoMkI jo icchA ho, so kaheM ?' yahA~ eka bAta vilakSaNa huI jo isa prakAra hai-hama loga sTezana para mUlacandrajIke makAnameM rahate the| pAsameM kahAra logoMkA mohallA thaa| eka dina rAtriko oloMkI varSA huii| itanI vikaTa ki makAnoMke khappara phUTa gye| hama loga rajAI Adiko or3hakara kisI taraha oloMke kaSTase bce| par3osameM jo kahAra the ve saba rAma rAma kahakara apanI prArthanA kara rahe the| ve kaha rahe the ki-'he bhagavan ! isa kaSTase rakSA kiijiye| ApattikAlameM Apake sivAya aisI koI zakti nahIM jo hameM kaSTase bacA ske| unameM eka nau dasa varSakI lar3akI bhI thii| vaha apane mAtA-pitAse kahatI hai ki 'tuma loga vyartha hI rAma-rAma raTa rahe ho| yadi koI rAma hotA to isa ApattikAlameM hamArI rakSA na krtaa| hamane unakA kauna-sA aparAdha kiyA hai jo itanI nirdayatAse ole barasA rahe For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 186 haiN| nirdayatAkA bhI kucha ThikAnA hai ? dekho, hamAre gharake khaparA cUra-cUra ho gaye, zira para khaTAkhaTa oloMkI varSA par3a rahI hai, vastra taka hamAre gharameM paryApta nahIM / kahA~ taka kahA jAve ? na mA~ke pAsa do dhotiyA~ haiM aura na pitAjIke paas| Apa loga eka hI dhotIse apanA nirvAha karate haiN| jaba dina bhara mehanata karate haiM taba kahIM jAkara zAmako anna milatA hai / vaha bhI peTabhara nahIM miltaa| pitAjI ! Apane rAma-rAma japate apanA janma to bitA diyA para rAmane eka bhI dina saMkaTa meM sahAyatA na dI / yadi koI rAma hote to kyA sahAyatA na karate / bagalameM dekho sarrAphajIkA makAna hai, unake hajAroM mana gallA hai, aneka prakArake vastrAdi haiM, nAnA prakArake bhUSaNa haiM, dUdha AdikI kamI nahIM hai, pAsa hI meM unakA bAga hai, jisameM Ama, amarUda, kelA Adike puSkala vRkSa haiM, jinase unheM Rtuke phala milate rahate haiM, cAra mAsa taka IkhakA rasa milatA hai, jisase khIra AdikI sulabhatA rahatI hai / yahA~ to hamAre gharameM annakA dAnA bhI nahIM / dUdhakI bAta chor3o, chA~cha bhI mA~gese nahIM miltii| yadi mile bhI to loga usake evaja meM ghAsa mA~ga lete haiM / isa vipattimaya jIvanakI kahAnI kahA~ taka kahU~ ? ataH pitAjI ! na koI rAma hai aura na rahIma hai / yadi koI rAma-rahIma hotA to usake dayA hotI aura vaha aise avasarameM hamArI rakSA karatA / yaha kahA~kA nyAya hai ki par3osavAlekI lAkhoMkI sampatti aura hama logoMko udara bhara bhojanake bhI lAle / yadyapi maiM bAlikA hU~ / par3hI likhI nahIM ki kisI AdhArase bAta kara sakU~ / parantu ApakI isa vipattise itanA avazya jAnatI hU~ ki jo nIma bovegA usake nImakA hI per3a hogA aura jaba vaha phalegA taba usameM nivorI hI hogii| jo AmakA bIja bovegA usake Ama hI kA phala lgegaa| jaisA bIja pRthvI mAtAmeM DAlA jAvegA vaisA hI mAtA phala devegI / pitAjI ! Apane janmAntarameM koI acchA kArya nahIM kiyA, jisase ki tumheM sukhakI sAmagrI milatI aura na merI mAtAne koI sukRta kiyA, anyathA aise daridrake ghara inakA vivAha nahIM hotaa| yaha dekhanemeM sundara hai, isaliye kamase kama acche gharAnekI bahU beTiyA~ inheM ghRNAkI dRSTise nahIM dekhatI ... yaha inake kucha sukRtakA hI phala hai| maiM bhI abhAginI hU~, jisase ki Apake yahA~ janmI / na to mujhe peTa bhara dAnA milatA hai aura na tana Dhakaneko vastra hI / jaba maiM mA~ke sAtha acche gharoMmeM jAtI hU~ taba loga dayAkara roTIkA Tukar3A de dete haiN| bahuta dayA huI to eka AdhA phaTA-purAnA bekAma vastra de dete haiN| isase yaha niSkarSa For Personal & Private Use Only

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dharmakA ThekedAra koI nahIM nikalA ki tumane usa janmameM bahuta pApa kiye, ataH aba oloMkI varSAse mata Daro aura na rAma-rAma cillAo / rAma ho yA na ho, mujhe isameM koI Apatti nahIM / parantu hamArI rakSA hamAre bhAgyake hI dvArA hogI / na koI rakSaka hai aura na koI bhakSaka hai| isa samaya maiM Apase kucha kahanA cAhatI huuN| vaha yaha ki - yadi tuma ina saba ApattiyoMse bacanA cAhate ho to eka kAma kro| dekho, tuma prati dina saikar3oM machaliyoMko mArakara apanI AjIvikA karate ho| jaisI hamArI jAna hai vaisI hI anyakI bhI hai| yadi tumheM koI suI cubhA detA hai to kitanA duHkha hotA hai / jaba tuma machalIkI jAna lete ho taba use jo duHkha hotA hai use vahI jAnatI hogii| machalI hI nahIM jo bhI jIva Apako milatA hai use Apa ni:zaMka mAra DAlate haiN| abhI parasoMkI hI bAta hai, Apane eka sarpako lAThIse mAra ddaalaa| par3osameM bAIjIne bahuta manA kiyA, para tumane yahI uttara diyA ki kAla hai, ise mAranA hI utkRSTa hai / ataH maiM yahI bhikSA mA~gatI hU~ ki cAhe bhikSA mA~gakara peTa bhara lo, parantu machalI mArakara peTa mata bharo / saMsArameM karor3oM manuSya haiM, kyA saba hiMsA karake hI apanA pAlana-poSaNa karate haiM ? 187 lar3akIkI jJAnabharI bAteM sunakara pitA ekadama cupa raha gayA aura kucha dera bAda usase pUchatA hai ki beTI ! tujhe itanA jJAna kahA~se AyA ? vaha bolI ki 'maiM par3hI likhI to hU~ nahIM, parantu bAIjIke pAsa jo paNDitajI haiM ve prati dina zAstra bA~cate haiN| eka dina bA~cate samaya unhoMne bahutasI bAteM kahIM jo merI samajhameM nahIM AIM, para eka bAta maiM acchI taraha samajha gaI / vaha yaha ki isa anAdinidhana saMsArakA koI na to kartA hai, na dhartA hai aura na vinAzakartA hai / apane-apane puNya-pApake AdhIna saba prANI haiN| yaha bAta Aja mujhe aura bhI adhika ja~ca gaI ki yadi koI bacAnevAlA hotA to isa Apattise na bacAtA ? isake sivAya eka dina bAIjIne bhI kahA thA ki parako satAnA hiMsA hai aura hiMsAse pApa hotA hai / phira Apa to hajAroM machaliyoMkI hiMsA karate haiM, ataH sabase bar3e pApI hue / kasAIke to ginatI rahatI hai para tumhAre vaha bhI nahIM / ' pitAne putrIkI bAtoMkA bahuta Adara kiyA aura kahA ki 'beTI ! hama tumase bahuta prasanna haiM aura jo yaha machaliyoMke pakar3anekA jAla hai use abhI tumhAre hI sAmane dhvasta karatA huuN|' itanA kahakara usane gurasImeM Aga jalAI For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 188 aura usapara vaha jAla rakhane lgaa| itanemeM usakI strI bolI ki 'vyartha hI kyoM jalAte ho| isako becanese do rupaye AjAveMge aura unase eka dhotI jor3I liyA jA sakegA / ' puruSa bolA ki 'yaha hiMsAkA Ayatana hai| jahA~ jAvegA vahIM hiMsA meM sahakArI hogA, ataH naMgA rahanA acchA parantu jAlako becanA acchA nhiiN|' isa taraha usane bAtacItake bAda usa jAlako jalA diyA aura strI-puruSa ne pratijJA kI ki aba Ajanma hiMsA na kreNge| yaha kathA hama aura bAIjI suna rahe the, bahuta hI prasannatA huI aura manameM vicAra AyA ki dekho samaya pAkara duSTase duSTa bhI sumArga para AjAte haiN| jAti kahAra apane Apa ahiMsaka ho gye| bAlikA yadyapi abodha thI, para usane kisa prakAra samajhAyA ki acchese acche paNDita bhI sahasA na samajhA sakate / isake anantara olA par3anA banda huA / prAtaHkAla nityakriyAse nivRtta hokara jaba hama mandirajI pahu~ce taba 8 baje vo tInoM jIva Aye aura utsAhase kahane lage ki hama Ajase hiMsA na kreNge| maiMne prazna kiyA- kyoM ? uttarameM usane rAtrikI rAma kahAnI AnupUrvI sunA dii| jise sunakara cittameM atyanta harSa huA aura zrI samantabhadra svAmIkA yaha zloka smaraNa dvArA sAmane AgayA ki 'samyagdarzanasampannamapi mAtaGgadehajam / devA devaM vidurbhasmagUDhAGgArAntaraujasam / / ' hama logoMkI yaha mahatI ajJAnatA hai ki kisIko sarvathA tuccha, nIca yA adhama mAna baiThate haiM / na jAne kaba kisake kAlalabdhi A jAve ? jAtike kahAra mahAhiMsaka, kauna unheM upadeza dene gayA ki Apa loga hiMsA chor3a do ? jisa lar3akIke upadezase mAtA-pitA ekadama sarala pariNAmI ho gaye usa lar3akIne kaunasI pAThazAlAmeM zikSA pAI thI ? dasa varSakI abodha bAlikA meM itanI vijJatA kahA~se A gaI ? itanI choTI umarameM to kapar3A pahiranA hI nahIM AtA, parantu janmAntarakA saMskAra thA, jo samaya pAkara udayameM AgayA, ataH hameM ucita hai ki apane saMskAroMko ati nirmala banAnekA satata prayatna kareM / isa abhimAnako tyAga deveM ki hama to uttama jAti ke haiM, sahaja hI kalyANake pAtra ho jaaveNge| yaha koI niyama nahIM ki uttama kulameM janmamAtrase hI manuSya uttama gatikA pAtra ho aura jaghanya kulameM janma lenese adhama gatikA pAtra ho ! yaha saba to pariNAmoMkI nirmalatA aura kaluSatA para nirbhara hai| ....isa For Personal & Private Use Only

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dharmakA ThekedAra koI nahIM 189 prakAra hama, bAIjI aura mUlacandrajI paraspara kathA karane lge| itanemeM vaha lar3akI bolI- 'varNIjI ! hama tInoMko kyA AjJA hai ?' maiMne kahA - 'beTI tumako dhanyavAda detA huuN| Aja tUne vaha utkRSTa kArya kiyA jo mahApuruSoM dvArA sAdhya hotA hai / tumhAre mAtA- pitAne jo hiMsAkA tyAga kiyA hai zlAghanIya hai, tumase sarrApha bahuta prasanna hai aura tuma logoMko jisakI AvazyakatA par3e, sarrAphase le sakate ho|' usa lar3akIkA pitA bolA- maiMne hiMsA kA tyAga kiyA hai| usakA yaha tAtparya nahIM ki Apa logoMse kucha yAcanA karaneke lie AyA huuN| maiM to kevala Apa logoMko ahiMsaka jAnakara Apake sAmane usa pApako chor3aneke liye AyA hU~ / Apase kyA mA~gU ? hamArA bhAgya hI aisA hai ki majadUrI karanA aura jo mile, saMtoSa se khAnA / Aja taka machaliyA~ mArakara udara bharate the, aba majadUrI karake udara poSaNa kreNge| abhI to hamane kevala hiMsA karanA hI chor3A thA, para aba yaha niyama karate haiM ki Ajase mAMsa bhI nahIM khAveMge tathA hamAre yahA~ jo devIkA balidAna hotA thA vaha bhI nahIM kareMge / koI-koI vaiSNava loga bakarAke sthAnameM bhUrA kumhar3A car3hAte haiM, hama vaha bhI nahIM cddh'aaveNge| kevala nAriyala cddh'aaveNge| basa, aba hama loga jAte haiM, kyoMki kheta noMdanA hai|........ itanA kahakara ve tInoM cale gaye aura hama loga bhI unhIMkI carcA karate hue apane sthAna para cale aaye| itanemeM bAIjI bolIM- 'beTA! tuma bhUla gaye / aise bhadra jIvoMko madirA aura madhu bhI chur3A denA thaa|' maiMne kahA- 'abhI kyA bigar3A hai ? unheM bulAtA hU~, pAsa hI to unakA ghara hai ?' maiMne unheM pukArA / ve tInoM A gye| maiMne unase kahA- 'bhAI ! hama eka bAta bhUla gaye / vaha yaha ki Apane mAMsa khAnA to chor3a diyA, para madhu aura madirA nahIM chor3I, ataH unheM bhI chor3a diijie|' lar3akI bolI- 'hA~ pitAjI ! vahI madhu na jo davAImeM kabhI-kabhI kAma AtI hai / vaha to bar3I burI cIja hai| hajAroM makkhiyA~ mArakara nicaur3I jAtI haiN| chor3a dIjiye aura madirA to hama tathA mA~ pItI hI nahIM haiN| tumhIM kabhI-kabhI pIte ho aura usa samaya tuma pAgalase ho jAte ho| tumhArA mu~ha basAne lagatA hai|' bApa bolA- 'beTI ! ThIka hai jaba mAMsa hI jisase ki peTa bharatA thA, chor3a diyA taba aba na madirA pIveMge aura na madhu hI khaaveNge| hama jo pratijJA karate haiM usakA nirvAha bhI kreNge| hama varNIjI aura bAIjIkI bAta to nahIM kahate, kyoMki vaha sAdhu loga haiM / parantu bar3e-bar3e jainI va brAhmaNa loga For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #215
merI jIvanagAthA 190 aspatAlakI davA khAte haiM, jahA~ bha~gI aura musalamAnoMke dvArA davA dI jAtI hai| usa davAmeM mAMsa, madirA aura madhukA saMyoga avazya rahatA hai| bar3e AdamiyoMkI bAta karo to yaha loga na jAne hama logoMkI kyA dazA kareMge ? ataH inakI bAta na karanA hI acchA hai| apaneko kyA karanA hai ? 'jo karegA so bhogegA ?' parantu bAta to yaha hai ki jo bar3e puruSa AcaraNa karate haiM vahI nIca zreNIke karane laga jAte haiN| jo bhI ho, hamako kyA karanA hai ?' vaha phira kahane lagA ki 'varNIjI ! kucha cintA na karanA, hamane jo vrata liyA hai, maraNa paryanta kaSTa saha lene para bhI usakA bhaMga na kreNge| acchA, aba jAte haiN| ......yaha kahakara ve cale gaye aura hama loga Ananda-sAgarameM nimagna ho gye| mujhe aisA lagA ki dharmakA koI ThekedAra nahIM hai| rasakhIra __ bhojana karake baiThe hI the ki varNI motIlAlajI A gye| unake sAtha bhI vahI kahAravAlI bAtacIta hotI rhii| dUsare dina vicAra huA ki Aja rasakhIra khAnA caahiye| zrI sarrApha mUlacandrajIne rasa mNgvaayaa| hama aura varNI motIlAlajI usake siddha karanemeM laga gye| bAIjIne kahA-'bhaiyA 11 baja gaye, aba bhojana kara lo| hamane eka na sunI aura khIrake banAne meM 11 / / bajA diye| sAmAyikakA samaya ho gayA, ataH nizcaya kiyA ki pahale sAmAyika kiyA jAya aura bAdameM nizcintatAke sAtha bhojn| sAmAyikake bAda 12 / / baje hama donoM bhojanake liye baitthe| bAIjIne kahA-'acchI khIra bnaayii| maiMne uttara diyA-'uttama padArthakA milanA kaThinatAse hotA hai| bAIjI ThIka kahakara roTI parosane lgiiN| maiMne kahA-'pahale khIra prosiye| unhoMne kahA-'bhojanake pazcAt khaanaa| hamane kahA-'jaba peTa bhara jAvegA taba kyA khAveMge? unhoMne kahA-'abhI khIra garama hai| hamane kahA-'thAlameM ThaNDI ho jaavegii|' unhoMne khIra parosa dii| hamane phailAkara grAsa hAthameM liyaa| eka grAsa motIlAlajIne bhI hAthameM liyaa| eka-eka grAsa mu~hameM jAneke bAda jyoM hI dUsarA grAsa uThAne lage tyoM hI do makkhiyA~ paraspara lar3atI huI AI aura eka hamArI tathA dUsarI motIlAlajIkI thAlImeM gira gii| khIra garama thI, ataH girate hI donoMkA prANAnta ho gyaa| antarAya A jAnese hama donoM usa dina bhojanase vaJcita rhe| bAIjI bolI-'bhaiyA ! lolupatA acchI nhiiN|' maiM sunakara cupa raha gyaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #216
asaphala cora isa prakaraNake likhanekA artha yaha hai ki jo vastu bhAgyameM nahIM hotI vaha thAlImeM Ane para bhI calI jAtI hai aura jo bhAgyameM hotI hai vaha dvIpAntarase bhI A jAtI hai / ataH manuSyako ucita hai ki sukha-dukhameM samatAbhAva dhAraNa kare / asaphala cora 1 hama, bAIjI aura varNI motIlAlajI - tInoM zrI siddhakSetra sonAgirikI vandanAke liye gye| vahIM bAIjIkI sAsa aura nanada bhI A gii| Anandase yAtrA huii| zrI candraprabha bhagavAnke darzana kara saba loga pramodabhAvako prApta hue / yahA~ para bhaTTArakajIkI gaddI hai aura prAcIna zAstroMkA bhaNDAra bhI / parantu vartamAnameM jo bhaTTAraka haiM, unheM jJAnavRddhikA lakSya nahIM / yaMtra-maMtrameM hI apanA kAla lagAte haiN| inakA mandira bahuta uttama hai / usameM ye pratidina bhaktibhAvase pUjana pATha karate haiN| svabhAvake sarala tathA dayAlu haiN| inakI dharmazAlAmeM nivAsa karanevAle yAtriyoMko saba prakArakI suvidhA rahatI hai| do dina Anandase yAtrA huii| tIsare dina simarAse AdamI AyA aura usane samAcAra diyA ki bAIjI Apake gharameM corI ho gii| sunakara bAIjIkI sAsa aura nanada rone lagIM, para bAIjIke cehare para zokakA eka bhI cihna dRSTigocara nahIM huA / unhoMne samajhAyA ki aba ronese kyA lAbha ? jo honA thA so ho gayA / aba to pA~ca dina bAda hI ghara jaaveNge| 191 AdamIne bahuta kucha calanekA Agraha kiyA aura kahA ki darogA sAhaba ne kahA hai ki bAIjIko zIghra lAnA / hama prayatnapUrvaka corIkA patA lagAneko taiyAra haiM, parantu hameM mAlUma par3anA cAhiye ki kyA-kyA sAmAna corI gayA hai ? bAIjIne AdamIse kahA- aba jAo aura darogA sAhabase kaho ki - corI to ho hI gii| aba tIrthayAtrAse kyoM vaMcita raheM ? dharmase saMsArakA bandhana chUTa jAtA hai, phira yaha dhana to para padArtha hai / isakI mUrcchAse hI to hamArI yaha gati ho rahI hai| yadi Aja hamAre parigraha na hotA to cora kyA curA le jAte ? yaha itanI balA hai ki becAre cora yadi pakar3e gaye to kArAgArakI yAtanAe~ bhogeMge aura nahIM pakar3e gaye to sukhase nahIM khA skeNge| prathama to nirantara zaMkita raheMge ki koI jAna na jAve / becane jAveMge to lenevAlA Adhe dAmameM levegA 1 jitane cora hoveMge ve bA~Tate samaya ApasameM ldd'eNge| lenevAlA nirantara bhayabhIta rahegA ki koI yaha na jAna leve ki yaha corIkA mAla letA hai / yadi daivayogase For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #217
merI jIvanagAthA 192 pakar3A gayA to kArAgArakI havA khAvegA aura jurmAnA bhugatanA par3egA tathA jaba Apa talAzI leveMge taba niraparAdha vyaktiyoMko bhI sandehameM pakar3akara piTavAyeMge aura isa taraha kitane hI niraparAdha daNDa pAveMge tathA darogA sAhaba jitane dina corIkA patA lagAnemeM raheMge utane dina haluvA, pur3I aura rabar3I khAneke liye denI pdd'egii| daivayogase patA bhI laga gayA, parantu yadi darogA sAhabako lAlacane dhara dabAyA to corase AdhA mAla lekara use bhagA deMge aura Apa pulisa sthAnapara cale jaaveNge| antameM jisakI corI huI vaha hAtha malate raha jaavegaa| unakA koI doSa nhiiN| parigrahakA svarUpa hI yaha hai| isake vazIbhUta hokara acche-acche mahAnubhAva cakkarameM A jAte haiN| saMsArameM sabase prabala pApa parigraha hai| kisI kavine ThIka hI to kahA hai "kanaka kanaka teM saugunI mAdakatA adhikaay| vaha khAye baurAta hai yaha pAye baurAya / / ' vizeSa kyA kahU~ ? bAIjI 5 dina rahakara, jo AdamI AyA thA, usake sAtha simarA calI gaIM aura maiM sAgara calA aayaa| kucha dinoMke bAda bAIjIkA patra AyA-'bhaiyA ! AzIrvAda / maiM sonAgirise simarA aaii| corI kucha nahIM huii| cora Aye aura jisa bhaNDariyAmeM sonA rakkhA thA, usImeM 10) ke gajAzAhI paisA rakkhe the| unhoMne paisAkI jagaha khodii| sonA chor3a gaye aura paisA koTharImeM bikhera gaye tathA dAla cAvala bhI bikhera gye| kyoM aisA kiyA so ve jaaneN| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki pAva AnA bhI nahIM gyaa| tuma koI cintA na krnaa|' mujhe harSa huA aura manameM AyA ki sukRtakA paisA jaldI naSTa nahIM hotaa| Aja yahA~, kala vahA~ sAgarameM zrI rajjIlAlajI kamarayA rahate the| merA unase vizeSa paricaya nahIM thaa| zAstra pravacanake samaya Apa Ate the| usI samaya unheM dekhatA thaa| unheM kisI kAryavaza rAhatagar3ha jAnA thaa| mujhase bole ki Apa bhI rAhatagar3ha cliye| maiMne kahA-'acchA cliye|' mArgameM aneka carcAyeM hotI rhiiN| antameM unhoMne kahA ki 'kucha hamAre liye bhI upadeza diijiye| maiMne kahA-'Apa zrI jinendradevakI pUjA to karate hI haiM aura svAdhyAya bhii| yadi Apa mujhase pUchate haiM to merI sammatyanusAra Apa samayasArakA svAdhyAya kiijiye| unameM Atmatattvake viSayameM bahuta hI spaSTa aura sarala rItise vyAkhyAna haiM tathA usake racayitA zrI For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #218
Aja yahA~, kala vahA~ 193 kundakunda bhagavAn haiN| unake viSayameM hama kyA kaheM ? unakI pratyeka gAthAmeM adhyAtmarasa TapakatA hai|' unhoMne saharSa svIkAra kiyaa| isake bAda hama donoM rAhatagar3ha phuNce| yahA~ para eka nadI grAmake pAsa bahatI hai, eka choTA-sA durga hai jo ki samabhAgase sau phuTakI U~cAI para hai, usake madhyameM eka bar3A bhArI pAnIkA kuNDa hai jo bahuta gaharA hai aura jise dekhanemeM bhaya mAlUma hotA hai| nadIke taTa para grAmase do mIla dUra kaI prAcIna jinamandira bhagna par3e hue haiN| unameM bahuta vizAlakAya pratimAe~ virAjamAna haiN| pUjana-pAThakA koI prabandha nhiiN| vahA~kI vyavasthA dekhakara mArmika vedanA huI, parantu kara kyA sakate the ? antameM yaha acchA huA ki ve sabhI pratimAe~ sAgara le AI gaIM aura zrI caudharanabAIke mandira meM virAjamAna kara dI giiN| yahA~ mandirake prabandhaka acchI tarahase unakI pUjAdikA prabandha karate haiM aura yathAvasara kalazAbhiSeka Adi utsava karate rahate haiN| hamArA aura rajjIlAlajIkA yahA~se vizeSa paricaya ho gyaa| yahA~se hama donoM sAgara vApisa A gye| zrI samaiyA javAharalAlajI jo ki caityAlayake prabandhaka the aura jinakI kRpAse sattarkasudhAtaraMgiNI pAThazAlAko camelIcaukameM vizAla bhavana milA thaa| na jAne unake manameM kyA vicAra aayaa| mujhe bulAkara kahane lage ki yadi Apa camelI caukameM pAThazAlA rakhanA cAhate haiM to bakAyadA kirAyanAmA likha dIjiye, kyoMki ApakI pAThazAlAko yahA~ rahate hue dasa varSa ho gye| kucha dina aura rahane para Apake adhikArI varga sarvathA kabjA kara leMge, hama loga tAkate hI raha jaaveNge| maiMne bahuta kucha kahA ki Apa nizcinta rahiye, kucha na hogaa| antameM vaha bole-'hama kucha nahIM jaante| yA to pandraha dinameM makAna khAlI karo yA kirAyanAmA likha do|' kyA kiyA jaave| bar3I asamaMjasameM par3a gaye; kyoMki tIsa lar3ake adhyayana karate the, unake yogya makAna milanA kaThina thaa| itane meM zrI bihArI modI aura zrI rajjIlAla siMghaI bole ki Apa cintA mata kreN| zrI svargIya DhAkanalAlajIkA makAna jo ki ghaTiyAke mandirase lagA huA hai, usameM pAThazAlA le calo aura abhI-abhI calo, use dekha lo| hama saba makAna dekhaneke liye gaye aura dekhakara nizcaya kiyA ki ise jhAr3a buhArakara svaccha kiyA jaave| anantara pAThazAlA isImeM lAI jaave| itane anAdarake sAtha For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #219
merI jIvanagAthA 194 caityAlayake makAnameM rahanA ucita nhiiN| cAra dinameM makAna durusta ho gayA aura pAThazAlA usameM A bhI gaI, parantu usameM kaI kaSTa the| yadi eka hajAra rupayA marammatameM lagA diye jAveM to saba kaSTa dUra ho jAveM, para rupaye kahA~ se AveM ? pAThazAlAmeM vizeSa dhana na thaa| mA~ga cU~gakara kAma calatA thaa| para daiva balavAn thaa| zrI baTTe dAU, jo ki relI bradarsake dalAla the, mujhe cintita dekhakara bole ki itane cintita kyoM ho ? maiMne kahA ki 'jo pAThazAlA camelI caukameM thI vaha zrI DhAkanalAla siMghaIke makAnameM A gii| parantu vahA~ aneka kaSTa haiN| makAna svaccha nhiiN| vaha abhI eka hajAra rupayA marammata ke liye cAhatA hai| pAThazAlAke pAsa dravya nahIM, kaise kAma cale ?' Apa usI vakta hamAre sAtha pAThazAlAmeM Aye aura jahA~ zrI DhAkanalAla siMghaIke baiThanekA sthAna thA, eka kudArI ma~gAkara vahA~ Apane khodA to tIna sau rupaye mila gye| dUsare dinase marammatakA kAma cAlU kara diyaa| aba eka kaccI aTArI thI, hamane dAUse kahA ki ise giravA kara chata banavA dI jaave| dAUne kahA ki ThIka hai-vahIM para unhoMne eka bhIta khodI, jisase sAta sau rupaye mila gye| isa taraha eka hajAra rupayemeM anAyAsa hI pAThazAlAke yogya makAna bana gayA aura Ananda pUrvaka bAlaka par3hane lge| mere hRdayameM yaha bAta sadA zalyakI taraha cubhatI rahatI thI ki isa prAntameM yaha eka hI to pAThazAlA hai, para usake pAsa nijakA makAna taka nhiiN| vaha apane thor3e hI kAlameM tIna makAnoMmeM raha cukI-'Aja yahA~ kala vahA~ / ' ina daridroM jaisI dazAmeM yaha pAThazAlA kisa prakAra cala skegii| morAjIke vizAla prAMgaNameM zrI DhAkanalAla siMghaIke makAnameM bhI vidyAlayake upayukta sthAna nahIM thA, kisI taraha gujara hI hotI thii| gRhasthIke rahane lAyaka makAna aura vidyAlayake upayukta makAnameM bar3A antara hotA hai| zrI bihArIlAlajI modI aura siMghaI rajjIlAlajI mandirake muMtajima the| unhoMne eka dina mujhase kahA ki 'yadi vidyAlayako puSkala jamIna cAhate ho to zrI morAjIkI jagaha, jisameM ki eka apUrva daravAjA hai, jo Aja paccIsa hajArameM na banegA tathA madhura jalase bhare hue do kUpa haiM, pAThazAlAke saMcAlakoMko de sakate haiN| kintu pAThazAlAvAle yaha pratijJApatra likha deveM ki For Personal & Private Use Only

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morAjIke vizAla prAMgaName 195 jabataka pAThazAlA cale tabataka hama usapara kAbija raheM aura yadi daiva prakopase pAThazAlA na cale to makAnavAloMko sauMpa deveNge|' isapara pAThazAlAke kucha adhikAriyoMne pahale to sammati na dI parantu samajhAne para saba sammata ho gye| aba cintA isa bAtakI huI ki makAna kaise bane ? pAThazAlAke adhikAriyoMne kameTI kara yaha nizcaya kiyA ki philahAla pA~ca hajAra rupayA lagAkara eka maMjalA kaccA makAna banA liyA jAve aura isakA bhAra zrImAn karor3ImallajIko sauMpA jAve / zrImAn karor3ImallajIne isa bhArako saharSa svIkAra kiyaa| Apa pAThazAlAke mantrI bhI the| tIna mAsameM Apane makAna taiyAra kara diyA aura pAThazAlA zrI DhAkanalAlajIke makAnase morAjI bhavanameM aagii| yahA~ Ane para saba vyavasthA ThIka ho gii| yaha bAta Azvina sudI 6 saM. 1680 kI hai| kaI kAraNoMse zrI karoDImallajIne pAThazAlAke mantrI padase stIphA de diyaa| Apake sthAnameM zrI pUrNacandrajI bajAja mantrI hue| Apa bahuta hI yogya aura vizAla hRdayake manuSya haiM, bar3e gambhIra haiM, gussA to Apa jAnate hI nahIM haiN| ApakI dukAnameM zrI pannAlAlajI bar3akura saMjAtI the, jinakI buddhi bahuta hI vizAla aura sUkSma thii| Apake vicAra kabhI saMkucita nahIM rhe| Apa sadA hI pAThazAlAkI unnatimeM parAmarza dete rahate the| aura samaya-samaya para svayaM bhI sahAyatA dete the| pAThazAlA koSa bahuta hI kama hai aura vyaya 500) mAsika hai......yaha dekhakara adhikArI varga sadA sacinta rahate the| eka bAra siMghaIjIke mandirameM zAstra pravacana huaa| usa samaya maiMne pAThazAlAkI vyavasthA samAjake sAmane rakha dii| phalasvarUpa zrI modI dharmacandrajIne kahA ki yadi varNIjI dehAtameM jainadharmakA pracAra kareM to maiM sau rupayA mAsika pAThazAlAko dene lgeN| maiMne bhramaNa svIkAra kiyA aura sau rupayA mAsika milane lgaa| isI prakAra zrIyukta kamarayAjIne kahA ki yadi paNDita dayAcandrajI hamako dopahara bAda eka ghaNTA svAdhyAyake liye deveM to sau rupayA mAsika hama deveMge....isa prakAra kisI taraha pAThazAlAkI Arthika vyavasthA sudhrii| parantu sthAyI AmadanIke binA merI cintA kama nahIM huii| kucha dinake bAda zrI modIjIne sahAyatA denA banda kara diyA para kamarayAjI barAbara dete rhe| pAThazAlAmeM kvIMsa kAlejake anusAra paThanakrama thA, isase bar3e-bar3e AkSepa Ane lge| parantu bhAvI acchA thA, isase saba vidhna For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 196 dUra hote gye| par3hAIke liye adhyApaka ucca zreNIke the, ataH usa orase maiM nizcinta rahatA thaa| parantu dhanakI cintA nirantara rahA karatI thii| yadyapi pAThazAlAke sabhApati zrI siMghaI kundanalAlajI aura upasabhApati zrI caudharI kanhaiyAlAla hakamacandrajI mAnika caukavAle hamako nirantara sAhasa aura upadeza diyA karate the ki Apa cintA mata karo, anAyAsa hI koSa ho jAvegA, tathApi merI cintA kama na hotI thii| siMghaIjI tathA cau. hukumacandrajIke dvArA galle bAjArase acchI AmadanI ho jAtI thii| ghIke dalAla zrI manasukhalAla hajArIlAla, giridhArIlAla palTUrAma, gu~celAla khUbacandra tathA anantarAmajI AdikI pUrI sahAyatA thI aura kirAnAke vyApArI zrI pyArelAla kizorIlAla malaiyA, hIrAlAla TIkArAma malaiyA, siMghaI rAjArAma munnAlAlajI aura siMghaI maujIlAla lakhamIcandrajI pUrNa sahAyatA dete the......para yaha saba cala sahAyatA thii| inakI sahAyatAse jo AtA thA vaha kharca hotA jAtA thA, ataH mUladhana kI vyagratA nirantara rahA karatI thii| kucha bhI raho, parantu jaba maiM morAjIke vizAla prAMgaNameM bahutase chAtroMko Anandase eka sAtha khelate-kUdate aura vidyAdhyayana karate dekhatA thA taba merA hRdaya harSAtirekase bhara jAtA thA / kalazotsavameM zrI paM. ambAdAsajI zAstrIkA bhASaNa saMvat 1672 kI bAta hai| sAgarameM zrI TIkArAma pyArelAlajI malaiyAke yahA~ kalazotsavakA Ayojana huaa| usameM paNDitoMke bulAnekA bhAra mere Upara chor3A gyaa| maiMne bhI saba paNDitoMke bulAnekI vyavasthA kI, jisake phalasvarUpa zrImAn paNDita mANikacandrajI nyAyAcArya, zrImAn paM. baMzIdharajI siddhAntazAstrI, zrImAn vyAkhyAnavAcaspati paM. devakInandanajI, zrImAn vANIbhUSaNa paM. tulasIrAmajI kAvyatIrtha tathA zrImAna nikhila vidyAvAridhi paNDita ambAdAsajI zAstrI jo ki hindU vizvavidyAlaya banArasameM saMskRtake prinsipala the, isa utsavameM sammilita hue| ApakA zAndAra svAgata huaa| usI samaya Ayojita AmasabhAmeM jainadharmake anekAntavAdapara ApakA mArmika bhASaNa huA, jise zravaNa kara acche-acche vidvAn loga mugdha ho gye| Apane siddha kiyA ki-'padArtha nityAnityAtmaka hai, anyathA saMsAra aura mokSakI vyavasthA nahIM bana sakatI, kyoMki sarvathA nitya mAnanemeM pariNAma nahIM bnegaa| yadi pariNAma mAnoge to nitya mAnanemeM virodha hogaa| zrI samantabhadra svAmIne likhA hai 'nityatvaikAntapakSe'pi vikriyA noppdyte| prAgeva kArakAbhAvaH kva pramANaM kva tatphalam / / ' For Personal & Private Use Only

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kalazotsavameM zrI paM. ambAdAsajI zAstrIkA bhASaNa 197 yaha siddhAnta nirvivAda hai ki padArtha cAhe nitya mAno, cAhe anitya, kisI na kisI rUpase rahegA hii| yadi nitya hai to kisa avasthAmeM hai ? yahA~ do hI vikalpa ho sakate haiN| yA to zuddha svarUpa hogA yA azuddha svarUpa hogaa| yadi zuddha hai to sarvathA zuddha hI rahegA, kyoMki sarvathA nitya hI mAnA hai aura isa dazAmeM saMsAra prakriyA na bnegii| yadi azuddha hai to sarvathA saMsAra hI rahegA aura aisA mAnanese saMsAra evaM mokSakI jo prakriyA mAnI hai usakA lopa ho jAvegA, ataH sarvathA nitya mAnanA anubhavake pratikUla hai| yadi sarvathA anitya hai aisA mAnA jAya to jo prathama samayameM hai vaha dUsaremeM na rahegA aura taba puNya-pApa tathA usake phalakA sarvathA lopa ho jaavegaa| kalpanA kIjiye, kisI AtmAne kisIke mAranekA abhiprAya kiyaa| vaha kSaNika honese naSTa ho gyaa| anyane hiMsA kii| kSaNika honeke kAraNa hiMsA karanevAlA bhI naSTa ho gyaa| bandha anyako hogaa| kSaNika honese bandhaka AtmA naSTa ho gyaa| phalakA bhoktA anya hI huaa| isa prakAra yaha kSaNikatvakI kalpanA zreSTha nahIM / pratyakSa virodha AtA hai, ataH kevala anityakI kalpanA satya nhiiN| jaisA ki kahA bhI hai 'pariNAmino'pyabhAvAtkSaNikaM pariNAmamAtramiti vstu| / tasyAmiha paraloko na syAtkAraNamathApi kAryaM vA / / ' bahutoMkI yaha mAnyatA hai ki kAraNase kArya sarvathA bhinna hai| kAraNa vaha kahalAtA hai jo pUrvakSaNavartI ho aura kArya vaha hai jo uttarakSaNavartI ho| parantu aisA mAnanemeM sarvathA kAryakAraNabhAva nahIM bntaa| jaba ki kAraNakA sarvathA nAza ho jAtA hai taba kAryakI utpattimeM usakA aisA kaunasA aMza zeSa raha jAtA hai jo ki kAryarUpa pariNamana karegA ? kucha jJAnameM nahIM aataa| jaise, do paramANuoMse vyaNaka hotA hai| yadi ve donoM sarvathA naSTa ho gaye to vyaNaka kisase huA ? samajhameM nahIM aataa| yadi sarvathA asatase kArya hone lage to mRpiNDake abhAvameM bhI ghaTakI utpatti hone lagegI ! para aisA dekhA nahIM jaataa| isase siddha hotA hai ki paramANukA sarvathA nAza nahIM hotA, kintu jaba vaha dUsare paramANuke sAtha milaneke sammukha hotA hai taba usakA sUkSma pariNamana badalakara kucha vRddhirUpa ho jAtA hai aura jisa paramANuke sAtha milatA hai usakA bhI sUkSma pariNamana badalakara vRddhirUpa ho jAtA hai |...... isI prakAra jaba bahutase paramANuoM kA sambandha ho jAtA hai taba skandha bana jAtA hai| skandha dazAmeM una saba paramANuoMkA sthUlarUpa pariNamana ho jAtA hai| aura aisA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 198 honese vaha cakSurindriyake viSaya ho jAte haiN| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki ve saba paramANu jitane the utane hI skandha dazAmeM haiN| kevala unakI jo sUkSma paryAya thI vaha sthUla bhAvako prApta ho gii| evaM yadi kAraNa se kArya sarvathA bhinna ho to kArya honA asambhava ho jAve, kyoMki saMsArameM jitane kArya haiM ve nimitta aura upAdAna kAraNase utpanna hote haiN| unameM nimitta to sahakArImAtra hai para upAdAna kAraNa kAryarUpa pariNamanako prApta hotA hai| jisa prAkara sahakArI kAraNa bhinna hai usa prakAra upAdAna kAraNa kAryase sarvathA bhinna nahIM hai| kintu upAdAna apanI pUrvaparyAya ko tyAga kara hI uttara avasthAko prApta hotA hai| isI uttara avasthAkA nAma kArya hai| yaha niyama sarvatra lAgU hotA hai| AtmAmeM bhI yaha niyama lAgU hotA hai| AtmA bhI sarvathA bhinna kAryako utpanna nahIM krtii| jaise, saba Astika mahAzayoMne AtmAkI saMsAra aura mukti do dazAe~ mAnI haiN| yahA~ para yaha prazna svAbhAvika hai ki yadi kAraNase kArya sarvathA bhinna hai to saMsAra aura mukti ye donoM kArya kisa dravyake astitvameM haiM ? siddha karanA caahiye| yadi pudgala dravyake astitvameM hai to AtmAko bhakti, pravrajyA, saMnyAsa, yama, niyama, vrata, tapa Adi kA upadeza denA nirarthaka hai, kyoMki AtmA to sarvathA nirlepa hai, ataH agatyA mAnanA par3egA ki AtmAkI hI azuddha avasthAkA nAma saMsAra hai| aba yahA~ para yaha vicAraNIya hai ki yadi saMsAra avasthA AtmAkA kArya hai aura kAraNase kArya sarvathA bhinna hai to AtmAkA usase kyA bigAr3a huA ? use saMsAra mocaneke lie jo upadeza diyA jAtA hai usakA kyA prayojana hai ? ataH kahanA par3egA ki jo azuddha avasthA hai vaha AtmAkA hI pariNamana vizeSa hai| vahI AtmAko saMsArameM nAnA yAtanAe~ detA hai, ataH usakA tyAga karanA hI zreyaskara hai| jaise, jala svabhAva se zIta hai parantu jaba agnikA sambandha pAtA hai taba uSNAvasthAko prApta ho jAtA hai| isakA yaha artha huA ki jisa prakAra jalakA pahale zItaparyAyake sAtha tAdAtmya thA usI prakAra aba uSNaparyAyake sAtha tAdAtmya ho gyaa| parantu jalatvakI apekSA vaha nitya rhaa| yaha ThIka hai ki jala kI uSNa paryAya asvAbhAvika hai-parapadArthajanya hai, ataH heya hai| isI taraha AtmA eka dravya hai| usakI jo saMsAra paryAya hai vaha aupAdhika hai| usake sadabhAvameM AtmAke vikRta pariNAma hote haiM jo ki AtmA ke liye ahitakara haiN| jaise, jaba taka AtmAkI saMsAra avasthA rahatI hai taba taka yaha AtmA hI kabhI manuSya ho jAtA hai, kabhI pazu bana jAtA hai, For Personal & Private Use Only

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kalazotsavameM zrI paM. ambAdAsajI zAstrIkA bhASaNa 199 kabhI deva to kabhI nArakI ho jAtA hai tathA una-una paryAyoMke anukUla ananta duHkhoMkA pAtra hotA hai| isI se ArSa upadeza pravrajyA grahaNa karanekA hai| yahA~ para koI kahatA hai ki yadi paryAyake sAtha dravyakA tAdAtmya sambandha hai to vaha paryAya vinaSTa kyoM ho jAtI hai ? isakA yaha artha hai ki tAdAtmya sambandha eka to nitya hotA hai aura eka anitya hotA hai| paryAyoMke sAtha jo sambandha hai vaha anitya hai aura guNoMke sAtha jo sambandha hai vaha nirantara rahatA hai, ataH nitya hai| isalie AcAryoMne guNoMko sahabhAvI aura paryAyoMko kramavartI mAnA hai| yahI kAraNa hai ki jo guNa paramANumeM haiM ve hI skandhameM haiM, parantu jo paryAyeM isa samayameM haiM ve dUsare samayameM nahIM ho sktiiN| yadi yaha avasthA na mAnI jAve to kisI padArthakI vyavasthA nahIM bana sktii| jaise, suvarNako lIjiye, usameM jo sparza, rasa, gandha aura varNa haiM ve sonA cAhe kisI bhI paryAyameM rahe, rheNge| kevala usakI paryAyoMmeM hI palaTana hogaa| yahI vyavasthA jina dravyoMko sarvathA nitya mAnA hai unameM hai| yadi saMsAra avasthAkA nAza na hotA to mokSakA koI pAtra na hotaa| isase yaha siddha huA ki saMsArameM aisI koI to vastu nahIM jo nityAnityAtmaka na ho| tathAhi 'AdIpamAvyoma samasvabhAvaM syAdvAdamudrAnatibhedi vstu| tannityamevaikamanityamanya diti tvadAjJAdviSatAM pralApaH / / ' kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki dIpakase lekara AkAza paryanta sabhI padArtha nityAnityAtmaka haiM, isako siddha karanevAlI syAdvAda mudrA hai| unameM dIpakako sarvathA anitya aura AkAzako sarvathA nitya mAnanevAle jo bhI puruSa haiM ve ApakI AjJAke vairI haiN| yadi dIpaka, ghaTa, paTAdi sarvathA anitya hI hote to Aja saMsArakA vilopa ho jaataa| kevala dIpaka paryAyakA nAza hotA hai na ki pudgalake jina paramANuoMse dIpaka paryAya banI hai unakA nAza hotA hai| tattvakI bAta yaha hai ki na to kisI padArthakA nAza hotA hai aura na kisI padArthakI utpatti hotI hai| mUla padArtha do hai-jIva aura ajIva / na ye utpanna hote haiM aura na naSTa hote haiN| kevala paryAyoMkI utpatti hotI hai aura unhIMkA vinAza hotA hai| sAmAnyarUpase dravyakA na to utpAda hai aura na vinAza hai| parantu vizeSarUpase utpAda bhI hai aura vinAza bhI hai| tathAhi For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 200 'na sAmAnyAtmanodeti na vyeti vyktmnvyaat| vyetyudeti vizeSAtte sahaikatrodayAdi st|| jaise padArtha nityAnityAtmaka hai vaise hI tat-atat, sat-asat aura ekAnekarUpa bhI hai| jaise eka AtmA dravya lIjiye, vaha tat bhI hai, atat bhI hai, eka bhI hai, aneka bhI hai, sat bhI hai, asat bhI hai tathA nitya bhI hai, anitya bhI hai| yahA~para ApAtataH pratyeka manuSyako yaha zaMkA ho sakatI hai ki isa prakAra paraspara virodhI dharma eka sthAna para kaise raha sakate haiM aura isIse vedAntasUtrameM vyAsajIne eka sthAna para likhA hai-'naikasminasaMbhavAt' arthAt eka padArthameM paraspara viruddha nityatvAnityatvAdi nahIM raha skte| parantu jainAcAryoMne syAdvAda siddhAntase ina paraspara virodhI dharmoMkA eka sthAnameM bhI rahanA siddha kiyA hai aura vaha yuktiyukta bhI hai, kyoMki vaha virodhI dharma vibhinna apekSAoMse eka vastumeM rahate haiM, na ki eka hI apekSAse / devadatta pitA hai aura putra bhI hai| parantu ekakI hI apekSA ukta donoM rUpa devadattameM siddha nahIM ho skte| vaha apane putrakI apekSA pitA hai aura apane pitAkI apekSA putra bhI hai| isI prakAra sAmAnyakI apekSA padArtha nitya hai-utpAda aura vinAzase rahita hai tathA vizeSakI apekSA anitya hai-utpAda aura vinAzase yukta hai| sAmAnyakI apekSA padArtha eka hai, parantu apanI paryAyoMkI apekSA vahI padArtha aneka ho jAtA hai| jaise sAmAnyajalatvakI apekSAse jala eka hai, parantu tattatparyAyoMkI apekSA vahI jala taraMga, babUlA, hima Adi aneka rUpa hotA dekhA jAtA hai| jainAcAryoMne syAdvAda siddhAntase ukta dharmoMkA acchA samanvaya kiyA hai| dekhiye'syAdvAdo hi sakalavastutattvasAdhakamekamaskhalitaM sAdhanamarhadevasya / sa tu sarvamanekAntamanuzAsti, sarvasya vastuno'nekAntAtmakatvAt / atra tvAtmavastuno jJAnamAtratayAnuzAsyamAno'pi na tatparidoSaH, jJAnamAtrasyAtmavastunaH svayamevAnekAntAtmakatvAt / tatra yadeva tat tadevAtat, yadevaikaM tadevAnekam, yadeva sat tadevAsat, yadeva nityaM tadevAnityamityekavastuvastutvaniSpAdakaparasparaviruddhazakti dvyprkaashnmnekaantH| tatsvAtmakavastuno jJAnamAtratve'pyantazcakacakAyamAnarUpeNa tattvAt bahirunmiSadanantajJeyatApannasvarUpatAtiriktapararUpeNAtattvAt, sahakramapravRttAnantacidaMzasamuda yarUpAvibhAgaikadravyeNaikatvAd avibhAgaikadravyavyAptasahakramapravRttAnantacidaMzarUparyAyairanekatvAt, svadravyakSetrakAlabhAvabhavanazaktisvabhAvatvenasattvAt , paradravyakSetrakAlabhAvabhavanazaktisvabhAvattve nAsatvAt, anAdinidhanAvibhAgaikavRttipariNatatvena nityatvAt kramapravRttaikasamayAvacchinnAne kavRttyaMzapariNatatvainAnityatvAt, tadatattvamekAnekatvaM sadasattvaM nityAnityatvaJca prakAzata eva / nanu yadi jJAnamAtratve'pyAtmavastunaH svayamevAnekAntaH prakAzate tahiM kimarthamarhadi bhastatsAdhanatvenAnuzAsyate'nekAntaH ? ajJAninAM jJAnamAtrAtmavastuprasiddhyarthamiti bruumH| na khalvanekAntamantareNa jJAnamAtramAtmavastveva prsiddhyti| tathAhi-iha hi svabhAvata eva For Personal & Private Use Only

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kalazotsavameM zrI paM. ambAdAsajI zAstrIkA bhASaNa 201 bahubhAvanirbharavizve sarvabhAvAnAM svabhAvenAdvaite'pi dvaitasya niSeddhumazakyatvAt samastameva vastu svapararUpapravRttivyAvRttibhyAmubhayabhAvAdhyAsitameva / tatra yadAyaM jJAnamAtro bhAvaH zeSabhAvaiH saha svarasabharapravRttajJAtRjJeyasambandhatayA'nAdijJeyapariNamanAt jJAnatvaM pararUpeNa pratipadyAjJAnI bhUtvA tamupaiti tadA svarUpeNa tattvaM dyotayitvA jJAtRtvena pariNamanAt jJAnI kurvannanekAnta eva tamudgamayati / 1. yadA tu sarva vai khalvidamAtmeti ajJAnatvaM jJAnarUpeNa pratipadya vizvopAdAnenAtmAnaM nAzayati tadA pararUpeNa tattvaM dyotayitvA vizvAd bhinnaM jJAnaM darzayan anekAnta eva nAzayituM na ddaati| 2. yadAnekajJeyAkAraiH khaNDitasakalaikajJAnAkAro nAzamupaiti tathA dravyeNaikatvaM dyotayan anekAnta eva tamujjIvayati / 3. yadA tvekajJAnAkAropAdAnAyAnekajJeyAkAratyAgenAtmAnaM nAzayati tadA paryAyairanekatvaM dyotayan anekAnta eva nAzayituM na ddaati| 4. yadA jJAyamAnaparadravyapariNamanAt jJAtRdravyaM paradravyatvena pratipadya nAzamupaiti tadA svadravyeNa sattvaM dyotayan anekAnta eva tmujjiivyti| 5. yadA tu sarvadravyANyahamaiveti paradravyaM jJAtRdravyatvena pratipadyAtmAnaM nAzayati tadA paradravyeNAsattvaM dyotayan anekAnta eva nAzayituM na ddaati| 6. yadA parakSetragatajJeyArthapariNamanAt parakSetreNa jJAnaM sat pratipadya nAzamupaiti tadA svakSetreNAstitvaM dyotayannanekAnta eva tamujjIvayati / 7. yadA tu svakSetre bhavanAya parakSetre jJeyAkAratyAgena jJAnaM tucchIkurvannAtmAnaM nAzayati tadA svakSetra eva jJAnasya parakSetragatajJeyAkArapariNamanasvabhAvatvAt parakSetreNa nAstitvaM dyotayannanekAnta eva nAzayituM na ddaati| 8. yadA pUrvAlambitArthavinAzakAle jJAnasyAsattvaM pratipadya nAzamupaiti tadA svakAle na sattvaM dyotayannanekAnta eva tamujjIvayati / 6. yadA tvarthAlambanakAla eva jJAnasya sattvaM pratipadyAtmAnaM nAzayati tadA parakAlenAsattvaM dyotayannanekAnta eva nAzayituM na ddaati| 10. yadA jJAyamAnaparabhAvapariNamanAt jJAyakabhAva parabhAvatvena pratipadya nAzamupaiti tadA svabhAvena sattvaM dyotayannanekAnta eva tmujjiivyti| 11. yadA tu sarve bhAvA ahameveti parabhAvaM jJAyakabhAvatvena pratipadyAtmAnaM nAzayati tadA paramavinAzatvaM dyotayannanekAnta eva nAzayituM na dadAti / 12. yadA nityajJAnavizeSaiH khaNDitanityajJAnasAmAnyo nAzamupaiti tadA jJAnasAmAnyarUpeNa nityatvaM dyotayan anekAnta eva nAzayituM na dadAti / 13. yadA tu nityajJAnasAmAnyopAdAnAyAnityajJAnavizeSatyAgenAtmAnaM nAzayati tadA jJAnavizeSarUpeNAnekatvaM dyotannanekAnta eva taM nAzayituM na dadAti / 14........ / ' yaha gadya zrI amRtacandra svAmIne samayasArake anta meM jo syAdvAdAdhikAra hai usameM likhI hai| isakA bhAva yaha hai ki-syAdvAda hI eka samasta vastukA sAdhanevAlA nirbAdha arhanta bhagavAnakA zAsana hai aura vaha samasta padArthoM ko anekAntAtmaka anuzAsana karatA hai, kyoMki sakala padArtha aneka dharmasvarUpa haiN| isa anekAntake dvArA jo padArtha aneka dharmasvarUpa kahe jAte haiM vaha asatya kalpanA nahIM haiM, balki vastusvarUpa hI aisA hai| yahA~ para jo AtmA nAmaka vastuko jJAnamAtra kahA hai usameM syAdvAdakA virodha nahIM hai| jJAnamAtra jo Atmavastu hai vaha svayameva anekAntAtmaka hai| yahI dikhalAte haiM-anekAntakA aisA svarUpa hai ki jo vastu tatsvarUpa hai vahI vastu atatsvarUpa bhI hai, jo vastu For Personal & Private Use Only

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202 merI jIvanagAthA eka hai vahI aneka bhI hai, jo padArtha satsvarUpa hai vahI padArtha asatsvarUpa bhI hai tathA jo padArtha nitya hai vahI anitya bhI hai| isa prakAra eka hI vastumeM vastutvako pratipAdana karanevAlA evaM paraspara viruddha zaktidvayako hI prakAzita karanevAlA anekAnta hai / isIko spaSTa karate haiM jaise AtmAko jJAnamAtra kahA hai / yahA~ yadyapi AtmA antaraMga meM daidIpyamAna jJAnasvarUpakI apekSA tatsvarUpa hai tathApi bAhyameM prakaTarUpa jo ananta jJeya haiM, vaha jaba jJAnameM pratibhAsita hote haiM taba jJAnameM unakA vikalpa hotA hai / isa prakAra jJeyatApanna jo jJAnakA rUpa hai jo jJAnasvarUpase bhinna pararUpa hai usakI apekSA atatsvarUpa bhI hai arthAt jJAna jJeyarUpa nahIM hotA / sahapravRtta aura kramapravRtta ananta cidazoMke samudAya jo avibhAgI eka dravya hai usakI apekSA ekasvarUpa haiM / arthAt dravyameM jitane guNa haiM ve anvayarUpase hI usameM sadA rahate haiM, vizeSarUpase nhiiN| aisA nahIM hai ki prathama samayameM jitane guNa haiM ve hI dvitIya samayameM rahate hoM aura ve hI ananta kAlataka rahe Ate hoM / cU~ki paryAya samaya samayameM badalatI rahatI hai aura dravyameM jitane guNa haiM ve saba paryAyazUnya nahIM hai, ataH guNoMmeM bhI parivartana honA anivArya hai| isase siddha yaha huA ki guNa sAmAnyatayA dhrauvyarUpa rahate haiM para vizeSakI apekSA ve bhI utpAdavyayarUpa hote haiN| isakA khulAsA yaha hai ki jo guNa pahale jisarUpa thA vaha dUsare samayameM anyarUpa ho jAtA hai| jaise jo Amra apanI apakva avasthA meM harita hotA hai vahI pakva avasthAmeM pIta ho jAtA hai / yahA~ haritatva aura pItatvakI apekSA rUpameM parivartana huA hai para sAmAnyarUpakI apekSA kyA huA ? donoM hI dazAoMmeM rUpa to rahatA hI hai / isa prakAra eka hI avibhAgI dravya, apane sahabhAvI guNoM aura kramabhAvI paryAyoMkI apekSA anekarUpase vyavahRta hotA hai| arthAt saha-krama pravRtta cidaMza samudAyarUpa avibhAgI dravyakI apekSA to AtmA eka svarUpa hai aura cidaMzarUpa paryAyoMkI vivakSAse aneka svarUpa haiN| evaM svadravya kSetra kAla bhAvarUpa honeke yogya jo zakti hai, ataH usake svabhAvase jaba vastukA nirUpaNa karate haiM taba vastu satsvarUpa hotI hai aura paradravya-kSetra-kAla-bhAvarUpa honeke yogya jo zakti hai, ataH usake abhAvarUpase jaba vastukA nirUpaNa karate haiM taba asatsvarUpa hotI hai| zrI samantabhadrasvAmIne kahA hai ki 1 'sadeva sarvaM ko necchetsvarUpAdicatuSTayAt / asadeva viparyAsAnna cenna vyavatiSThate / / ' For Personal & Private Use Only

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kalazotsavameM zrI paM. ambAdAsajI zAstrIkA bhASaNa 203 arthAt svadravya-kSetra-kAla- bhAvakI apekSA sampUrNa vizva sat hI hai aura paradravya-kSetra-kAla-bhAvakI apekSA asat hI hai.....ise kauna nahIM svIkRta karegA ? kyoMki aisA mAne binA padArtha-vyavasthA nahIM ho sakatI...... / ' zAstrIjIkA vyAkhyAna sunakara sabane prazaMsA kii| isI avasara para zrImAn nyAyAcArya paM. mANikacandrajIkA jainadharmake Upara bahuta hI prabhAvaka vyAkhyAna huA / vyAkhyAnavAcaspati paM. devakInandanajIne to apane vyAkhyAnake dvArA janatAko loTa-poTa kara diyA / vyAkhyAnabhUSaNa paM. tulasIrAmajI kAvyatIrthakA samAjasudhArapara mArmika bhASaNa huA aura isI samaya siddhAntamahodadhi paM. vaMzIdharajIkA jaina tattvoM para tarkapUrNa vyAkhyAna huA / isa prakAra ina udbhaTa vidvAnoMke samAgamase malaiyAjIkA kalazotsava sArthaka ho gayA / tIsare dina jalavihAra honeke bAda jaba sabhA visarjita hone lagI taba zrImAn mAnika caukavAloMne mujhase kahA ki Apa pAThazAlAke liye apIla kiijiye| maiMne unake kahe anusAra iSTa devatAkA smaraNa kara upasthita janatAke samakSa pAThazAlAkA vivaraNa sunAyA aura sAtha hI usake mUla saMsthApaka haMsarAjajI kaNDayAko dhanyavAda diyA / anantara yaha kahA ki dhanake binA pAThazAlAkI bahuta hI avanata avasthA ho rahI hai| yadi Apa logoMkI dRSTi isa ora na gaI to sambhava hai ki eka yA do varSa hI pAThazAlA cala skegii| antameM usakI kyA dazA hogI, so Apa saba jAnate haiN| AjakA kArya bhikSA mA~ganekA hai / bhikSAnnakA upayoga Apa hI ke bAlaka vidyArjana ke liye kreNge| yaha bhikSAkA mA~ganA yadi Apa loga karate to bahuta hI upayukta hotA, kyoMki isa viSayameM jitanA ApakA paricaya hai utanA merA nhiiN| maiM to eka tarahase taTastha hU~ / parantu Apako bhIkha mA~ganemeM lajjA AtI hai, ataH mujhase ma~gavA rahe haiN| kucha hAni nahIM, parantu yadi apIla vyartha gaI to Apa hI kI hAni hai aura saphala huI to Apa hI kA lAbha hai| Apake dravyakA sahayoga pAkara jo vidyArjana kareMge unakA kalyANa hogA aura unake dvArA jainadharmakA vikAsa hogA / hamAre kundakunda, samantabhadra, akalaMka Adi bar3e-bar3e AcArya jainadharmake mahAn siddhAntoMko jina saMskRta aura prAkRtake granthoMmeM aMkita kara gaye haiM Aja unheM par3hanevAle to dUra rahe unakA nAma taka jAnanevAle isa prAntameM nahIM haiN| kyA yahI hamArI unake prati kRtajJatA hai ? samyak paThanapAThanake dvArA hI unake granthoMkA pracAra ho sakatA hai aura samyak paThanapAThanakI vyavasthA binA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 204 pAThazAlAke nahIM ho sktii| Apake itane bar3e prAntameM yaha eka hI pAThazAlA hai jisameM bar3e-bar3e vidvAnoMke dvArA vidhivat adhyayana karAyA jAtA hai| parantu unake binA usakI avasthA acchI nahIM hai, ataH maiM prArthanA karatA hU~ ki Apa loga use apanA pUrA-pUrA sahayoga deveNge| AzA hai merI prArthanA vyartha na jaavegii| upasthita janatAne dila kholakara candA dilavAyA aura 15 minaTake andara pandraha hajAra rupayoMkA candA ho gyaa| sAgarake prAntabharane yathAzakti usameM dAna diyaa| pazcAt sabhA visarjita huii| bAharase jo vidvAn va dhanADhya Aye the ve saba apane-apane ghara cale gye| maiM dUsare hI dinase candAkI vasUlImeM laga gayA aura yahA~kA candA vasUla kara dehAtameM bhramaNake lie nikala pdd'aa| vaizAkhiyA zrI pannAlAlajI gar3hAkoTA ___eka mAsa taka dehAtameM bhramaNa karatA rhaa| isI bhramaNameM gar3hAkoTA pahu~cA jo vizeSa ullekhanIya hai| yahA~ para zrI pannAlAlajI vaizAkhiyA bar3e dhArmika puruSa the| Apake 10000) kA parigraha thaa| Apa prAtaHkAla sAmAyika karate the, anantara zaucAdi kriyAse nivRtta hokara mandira jAte the aura tIna ghaMTA vahA~ rahakara pUjana-pATha tathA svAdhyAya karate the| yahIM para zrI phundIlAlajI the| chahaghariyAke sAtha merA paricaya ho gyaa| Apa gAnavidyAke AcArya the| jisa samaya Apa bhairavImeM gAjebAjeke sAtha siddhapUjA karate the usa samaya zrotAgaNa mugdha ho jAte the| Apako samayasArakA acchA jJAna thaa| Apa bhI mandirameM bahuta kAla lagAte the| yahA~ para zrI sodhiyA darayAvasiMhajI bhI kabhI-kabhI indaurase A jAyA karate the| Apa yadyapi sara seTha sAhabake pAsa indaurameM rahane lage the, para ApakA ghara gar3hAkoTA hI thaa| Apa bar3e nirbhIka vaktA the| una dinoM daivayogase ApakA bhI samAgama mila gyaa| ApakA zikSAke viSayameM yaha siddhAnta thA ki bAlakoMko sabase pahale dharmakI zikSA denA cAhiye jisase ki ve dharmase cyuta na ho skeN| isameM unakI prabala yukti yaha thI ki dekho, aMgrejIke vidvAn prathama dharmakI zikSA na pAnese isa vyavahAra dharmako dambha batAne lagate haiM, ataH pahale dharma vidyA par3hAo, pazcAt saMskRta / para merA kahanA yaha thA ki bAlakoMko dharmameM devadarzana tathA pUjanakI zikSA to dI hI jAtI hai; ataH banArasakI prathama parIkSA dilAneke bAda yadi dharmazAstrakA adhyayana karAyA jAve to lar3ake vyutpanna hoNge| kahanekA tAtparya For Personal & Private Use Only

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candekI dhunameM 205 yaha hai ki yahA~para Anandase dharma carcAmeM pandraha dina bIta gye| pannAlAlajI vaizAkhiyA tIna ghaNTA mandirameM bitAte the| pazcAt bhojana karate the, phira sAmAyikake bAda eka baje dukAnapara jAte the| Apake kapar3ekA vyApAra thaa| ApakA niyama thA ki eka dinameM 50) kA hI kapar3A becanA, adhikakA nahIM aura eka rupaye para eka AnA munAphA lenA, adhika nhiiN| Apase grAhaka mola tola nahIM karatA thaa| yahA~ taka dekhA gayA ki yadi koI grAhaka vivAhake lie 100) kA kapar3A lene AyA to Apane 50). 50) ke hisAbase do dinameM diyaa| Apa cAra baje taka hI dukAnameM rahate the| bAdameM ghara cale jAte the| ApakI dharmapatnI mulAbAI bar3I suzIla thii| Apake tIna yA cAra kisAna the jo Apase 300) yA 400) karja liye the| para Apako kabhI unake ghara nahIM jAnA pdd'aa| vaha loga ghara para Akara gallA va rupayA de jAte tathA le jAte the| ApakA bhojana aisA zuddha banatA thA ki atithi-tyAgI brahmacArIke bhI yogya hotA thaa| ___antameM ApakA maraNa samAdhipUrvaka huaa| ApakI dharmapatnI mulAbAI parizokase duHkhI huii| parantu subodha thIM, ataH sAgara Akara bAIjIke pAsa sukhapUrvaka rahane lagI tathA vidyAbhyAsa karane lgiiN| use nATaka samayasAra kaNThastha thA / vaha bAIjIko mAtA aura mujhe bhAI mAnane lgiiN| isaprakAra candA vasUlakara maiM sAgara A gyaa| candekI dhunameM eka mAsa bahuta parizrama karanA par3A, isase zarIra thaka gyaa| eka dina bhojana karaneke bAda madhyAhnameM sAmAyikake liye baitthaa| bIcameM nidrA Ane lgii| nidrAmeM kyA dekhatA hU~ ki eka AdamI AyA aura kahatA hai ki 'varNIjI ! hamArA bhI candA likha lo|' maiMne kahA-'Apa to bar3e AdamI haiN| yadi kalazotsava para Ate to 1000) se kama na lete| parantu kyA kaheM ? vaha to samaya gayA aba pachatAne se kyA lAbha ? Apa hI kahiye kyA deveMge? unhoMne kahA-'tIna sau rupayA deveMge? maiM bolA-'Apako zobhA nahIM detaa| Apa vivekI haiN| vidyAke rasako jAnate haiM, ataH aisA vyavahAra Apake yogya nhiiN|' vaha bole-'acchA cArasau rupayA le lo|' maiMne kahA-'phira vahI bAta, ThIka-ThIka khiye|' vaha bole-'500) ye haiM nagada liijiye| maiMne donoM hAthase rupayA pheMka diye aura nidrA bhaMga ho gii| jamIna para gira pdd'aa| jamInameM zira laganese AvAja huii| bAIjI aaii| bolI "bhaiyA sAmAyika karate ho yA zira phor3ate For Personal & Private Use Only

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206 merI jIvanagAthA ho / " maiMne kahA - 'sAmAyikameM svapna A gyaa|' kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki jo dhAraNA hRdayameM ho jAtI hai vahI to svapnake samayameM AtI hai / isa prakAra sAgara pAThazAlAke dhrauvyaphaNDameM 26000) ke lagabhaga rupayA ho gyaa| zrI siMghaI kundanalAlajIke pitA kArelAlajIne bhI apane svargavAsake samaya 3000) tIna hajAra diye / zrI siMghaI ratanalAlajI itanemeM hI zrI siMghaI ratanalAlajI sAhaba, jo ki bahuta hI honahAra aura prabhAvazAlI vyakti the tathA pAThazAlAke koSAdhyakSa the, koSAdhyakSa hI nahIM pAThazAlAkI pUrI sahAyatA karate the aura jinhoMne sarvaprathama acchI rakama bolakara kalazotsavake samaya hue pandraha hajAra rupayoMke candekA zrI gaNeza karAyA thA, ekadama jvarase pIr3ita ho gye| Apane bAIjIko bulAyA aura kahA - 'bAIjI ! aba paryAyakA koI vizvAsa nahIM / DAlacandra abhI bAlaka hai, parantu isakI rakSA isakA puNya kregaa| maiM kauna hU~? maiM aba paralokakI yAtrA kara rahA huuN| merI mA~ va gRhiNI sAvadhAna haiN| merI mAtAkA Apase ghaniSTha sambandha hai, ataH Apa unheM zokasAgarameM nimagna na hone deNgii| inakA ApameM aTala vizvAsa hai| DAlacandra merA choTA bhAI hai| isakI ruci pUjana tathA svAdhyAyameM nirantara rahatI hai tathA koI vyasana nahIM, yaha bar3I prasannatAkI bAta hai / mujhe kisI bAtakI cintA nahIM / yadi hai to kevala isa bAtakI ki isa prAntameM koI vidyAyatana nahIM hai / daivayogase yaha eka vidyAlaya huA hai, 1 parantu usameM yatheSTa dravya nahIM / parantu aba kyA kara sakatA hU~ ? yadi merI Ayu avazeSa rahatI to thor3e hI kAlameM eka lAkha rupayAkA dhrauvyakoSa kara detA para aba vyarthakI cintAse kyA lAbha ? maiM daza hajAra rupaye vidyAdAnameM detA hU~ / ' bAIjIne kahA- 'bhaiyA ! yahI manuSya paryAyakA sAra hai / ' siMghaI ratanalAlajIne usI samaya dasa hajAra rupaye pRthak karA diye aura choTe bhAIse kahA - 'DAlacandra ! saMsAra anitya hai / isameM kadApi dhrauvyakalpanA na karanA / nyAyamArgase jIvana bitAnA / jo tumhArI Aya hai usameM santoSa rakhanA / jo apane dharmAyatana haiM unakI rakSA karanA tathA jo apane yahA~ vidyAlaya hai usakI nirantara cintA rakhanA / puNyodayase yaha mAnuSa tana milA hai ise vyartha na khonA / aba hamArA jo sambandha thA vaha chUTatA hai / mA~ko hamAre viyogakA duHkha na ho| yaha jo tumhArI bhaujAI aura unakA bAlaka hai ve duHkhI For Personal & Private Use Only

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dAnavIra zrI kamarayA rajjIlAlajI 207 na hone paave| hama to nimittamAtra haiN| prANiyoMke puNya-pApake udaya hI unake sukha-duHkha dAtA haiN| aba hama kucha ghanTAke hI mehamAna haiN| kahA~ jAveMge, isakA patA nhiiN| parantu hameM dharma para dRr3ha vizvAsa hai, isase hamArI sadgati hI hogii| bAIjI aba hamArI antima jayajinendra hai|' ratanalAlajIkA aisA bhASaNa sunakara sabakI dharmameM dRr3ha zraddhA ho gii| bAIjI vahA~se calakara kaTarA AIM ki Adha ghaNTA bAda sunanemeM AyA ki ratanalAlajIkA svargavAsa ho gyaa| Apake zavake sAtha hajAroM AdamiyoMkA samAroha thaa| unake samAdhimaraNakI carcA suna kara saba mugdha ho jAte / ApakI dAha-kriyA kara loga apane-apane ghara cale gye| Apake viyogase samAja bahuta khinna huI, parantu kara kyA sakate the ? Apake choTe bhAI siMghaI DAlacandrajI bhI bahuta yogya vyakti haiN| ApakA zAstrameM bahuta acchA jJAna hai| yadyapi Apa saMskRta nahIM par3he haiM tathApi saMskRtake dharmazAstrameM ApakI acchI pravRtti hai| Apa pratidina pUjana karate haiM aura eka ghaNTA svAdhyAya karate haiN| Apake yahA~ sadAvarta denekI jo paddhati thI use Apa barAbara calAte haiN| Apa tathA ApakA gharAnA prArambhase hI pAThazAlAkA sahAyaka rahA hai| dAnavIra zrI kamarayA rajjIlAlajI kamarayA rajjIlAlajIke viSayameM pahale likha AyA huuN| dhIre-dhIre unake sAtha merA ghaniSTha sambandha ho gyaa| eka dina Apa bole-'varNIjI ! hamArA dAna karanekA bhAva hai|' maiMne kahA-'acchA hai| jo ApakI icchA ho so kiijiye|' Apa bole-'hama to paJcakalyANaka kraaveNge|' maiMne kahA-'ApakI icchA ho so kiijiye| ___ Apa kalakTara Adike pAsa gye| jamIMdArase bhI mile| parantu unhoMne apanI jamIna para melA bharAneke lie 2000) maaNge| Apa vyartha paisA kharca karanA upayukta nahIM samajhate the, ata: jamIMdArakI anacita mA~gake kAraNa ApakA citta paJcakalyANakase virakta ho gyaa| phira hamase kahA-'hamArI icchA hai ki pAThazAlAkA bhavana banavA deveN| hamane kahA-'jo ApakI icchaa|' basa, kyA thA ? Apane pAThazAlAke sadasyoMse maMjUrI lekara pAThazAlAkA bhavana banavAnA prArambha kara diyA aura aharniza parizramakara 50 chAtroMke yogya bhavana tathA eka rasoI ghara banavA diyaa| sAthameM 100) mAsika bhI dene lge| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 208 kAraNa pAkara pAThazAlAke vartamAna prabandhase ApakA citta udAsa ho gyaa| Apa bole-'hama apanI pAThazAlA pRthak kreNge| hamane kahA-'ApakI icchaa|' Apane kucha mAha taka pRthak pAThazAlAkA saMcAlana kiyaa| pazcAt phira prAcIna pAThazAlAmeM milA dI aura pUrvavat sahAyatA dene lge| kucha dina bAda Apa bole ki 'hama pAThazAlAke lie bhavana aura banavAnA cAhate haiN| maiMne kahA-'bahuta acchaa| Apane sadasyoMse maMjUrI lI aura pahalese bhI acchA bhavana banavA diyaa| donoM bhavanoMke bIcameM eka bar3A hAthI daravAjA banavAyA, jisameM barAbara hAthI jA sakatA hai| daravAjeke Upara candraprabha caityAlaya banavA diyA, jisameM chAtra loga pratidina darzana, pUjana, svAdhyAya karate haiN| Apane eka bAta vilakSaNa kI, jo prAyaH asambhava thI aura pIche Apake bhatIjeke virodhase miTa gii| yadi virodha na hotA to pAThazAlAko sthAyI sampatti anAyAsa mila jaatii| vaha yaha kI Apake bhAI zrI lakSmaNadAsajI kamarayA marate samaya 34000) kA TrasTa kara gaye the| Apake prayatnase usakA 180) mAsika pAThazAlAko milane lagA aura 6 varSa taka barAbara milatA rahA, parantu Apake bhatIjene virodha kiyA, jisase banda ho gyaa| Apake dUsare bhatIje zrI munnAlAlajI haiM, jo bahuta hI yogya aura karmaTha vyakti haiN| Apane usa viSayameM bahuta kucha prayatna kiyA, parantu yogya sAmagrIke abhAvameM prayatna saphala nahIM ho skaa| zrI munnAlAlajI kamarayAne apane kAkAke upadezAnusAra pAThazAlAke andara eka dharmazAlA nirmANa karA diyA, jisase atithiyoM aura yAtriyoMko Thaharane AdikI uttama suvidhA ho gii| pAThazAlAke andarake donoM kUpoMkA bhI jIrNoddhAra Apane karA diyaa| candraprabha caityAlayakA kalazotsava Apane bar3I dhUmadhAmake sAtha kiyA thA / hajAroM AdamiyoMkI bhIr3a ekatrita huI thii| sabake bhojanapAnakI vyavasthA Apane hI kI thii| Apake apUrva tyAgase jaMgalameM maMgala ho gyaa| morAjIkA yaha bIhar3a sthAna, jahA~se rAtrike samaya nikalanemeM loga bhayakA anubhava karate the| Apake sarvasva tyAgase sAgarakA eka darzanIya sthAna bana gyaa| eka choTI-sI pahAr3IkI upatyakAmeM sar3akake kinAre cUnAse pute hue dhavala uttuMga bhavana jaba cA~danI rAtameM candramAkI ujjvala kiraNoMkA samparka pAkara aura bhI adhika saphedI chor3ane lagate haiM taba aisA lagatA hai mAno yaha kamarayA For Personal & Private Use Only

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jaina jAtibhUSaNa zrI siMghaI kundanalAlajI 209 rajjIlAlajIkI amara nirmala kIrtikA piNDa hI ho| isI morAjI bhavanake vizAla prAMgaNameM paravArasabhA huii| sabhA ke adhyakSa the zrI svargIya zrImanta seTha pUranazAhajI sivnii| jabalapura, kaTanI, khuraI Adi sthAnoMse samAjake prAyaH pramukha-pramukha saba loga aaye| kamarayAjI dvArA nirmita bhavya bhavana dekhakara sabhI pramudita hue aura sabhIne unake sAmayika dAnakI muktakaNThase prazaMsA kii| itanA hI nahIM, jaba ApakA svargavAsa hone lagA taba 16000) dAna aura bhI kiyA, jisameM 10000) vidyAlayako tathA 6000) donoM maMdiroM ke liye the| Apa nirantara chAtroMko bhojanAdise tRpta karate the| ApakI prazaMsA kahA~taka kareM ? itanA hI bahuta hai ki Apa yogya nararatna the| Apake bAda ApakI dharmapatnI bhI nirantara pAThazAlAkI sahAyatA karatI rahatI thiiN| ApakI eka suputrI gulAbabAI hai jo ki sahaDola vivAhI hai, parantu adhikatara sAgara hI rahatI hai| jaina jAtibhUSaNa zrI siMghaI kundanalAlajI siMghaI kundanalAlajI sAgarake sarvazreSTha sahRdaya vyakti haiN| ApakA hRdaya dayAse sadA paripUrNa rahatA hai| jabataka Apa sAmane Aye hue duHkhI manuSyako zaktyanusAra kucha de na leM tabataka Apako santoSa nahIM hotaa| na jAne kitane duHkhI parivAroMko dhana dekara, anna dekara, vastra dekara aura pU~jI dekara sukhI banAyA hai| Apa kitane hI anAtha choTe-choTe bAlakoMko jahA~ kahIMse Ate haiM aura apane kharcase pAThazAlAmeM par3hAkara unheM silasilese lagA dete haiN| Apa pratidina pUjana, svAdhyAya karate haiM, atizaya bhadra pariNAmI haiM, prArambhase hI pAThazAlAke sabhApati hote A rahe haiM aura ApakA varada hasta sadA pAThazAlAke Upara rahatA hai| eka dina Apa bAIjI ke yahA~ baiThe the| sAthameM Apake sAle kundanalAlajI ghIvAle bhI the| maiMne kahA-'dekho, sAgara itanA bar3A zahara hai, parantu yahA~ para koI dharmazAlA nahIM hai| unhoMne kahA-'ho jaavegii|' dUsare hI dina zrI kundanalAlajI ghIvAloMne kaTarAke nukkar3apara bairiSTara bihArIlAlajI rAyake sAmane eka makAna 3400) meM le liyA aura itanA hI rupayA usake banAnemeM lagA diyaa| Ajakala vaha 25000) kI lAgatakA hai aura siMghaIjIkI dharmazAlAke nAmase prasiddha hai| hama usI makAnameM rahane lge| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 210 eka dina maiMne siMghaIjIse kahA ki yaha saba to ThIka huA, parantu Apake mandirameM sarasvatI bhavanake liye eka makAna judA honA caahiye| Apane tIna mAsake andara hI sarasvatIbhavanake nAmase eka makAna banavA diyA, jisameM 400 AdamI Anandase zAstra pravacana suna sakate haiN| mahilAoM aura puruSoMke baiThaneke pRthak-pRthak sthAna haiN| eka dina siMghaIjI pAThazAlAmeM aaye| maiMne kahA-yahA~ aura to saba subhItA hai parantu sarasvatIbhavana nahIM hai| vidyAlayakI zobhA sarasvatI mandirake binA nhiiN| kahanekI dera thI ki Apane morAjIke uttarakI zreNImeM eka vizAla sarasvatIbhavana banavA diyaa| 'sarasvatIbhavanakA udghATana samArohake sAtha honA cAhiye aura isake liye jayadhavala tathA dhavala grantharAja AnA cAhiye'.......Apase maiMne khaa| 'yahA~ kahA~ mila sakeMge ?'.....Apane khaa| 'sItArAma zAstrI sahAranapurameM haiN| unase hamArA ghaniSTha sambandha hai| unake pAsa donoM hI grantharAja haiM, parantu 2000) likhAIke mA~gate haiM ..... maiMne khaa| "ma~gA lIjiye.....Apane prasannatAse uttara diyaa| ___ maiMne donoM grantharAja ma~gA liye| jaba zAstrIjI grantha lekara Aye taba unheM 2000) ke atirikta susajjita vastra aura vidAI dekara vidA kiyaa| sarasvatIbhavanake udghATanakA muhUrta aayaa| kisIne ApakI dharmapatnIse kaha diyA ki Apa sarasvIbhavanameM pratimA bhI padharA do, jisase nirantara pUjA hotI rhegii| sarasvIbhavanase kyA hogA ? usase to kevala par3he-likhe loga hI lAbha uThA skeNge| siMghenajIke manameM bAta jama gayI, phira kyA thA ? patrikA chapa gaI ki amuka tithimeM sarasvatIbhavanameM pratimAjI virAjamAna hoNgii| yaha saba dekhakara mujhe manameM bahuta vyagratA huii| merA kahanA thA ki morAjImeM eka caityAlaya to hai hI, aba dUsarekI AvazyakatA kyA hai ? para sunanevAlA kauna thA ? maiM mana hI mana vyagra hotA rhaa| eka dina siMghaIjIne nimantraNa kiyaa| maiMne manameM ThAna lI ki cUMki siMghaIjI hamArA kahanA nahIM mAna rahe haiM, ataH unake yahA~ bhojanake liye nahIM jaauuNgaa| jaba yaha bAta bAIjIne sunI taba hamase bolIM-'bhaiyA ! kala siMghaIjIke yahA~ nimantraNa hai| maiMne kahA-'hA~' hai to, parantu merA vicAra jAnekA nahIM hai|' bAIjI ne kahA-'kyoM nahIM jAnekA hai|' maiMne kahA-'ye sarasvatIbhavanameM pratimAjI For Personal & Private Use Only

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jaina jAtibhUSaNa zrI siMghaI kundanalAlajI 211 sthApita karanA cAhate haiN|' bAIjIne kahA-'basa yahI, para isameM tumhArI kyA kSati huI ? mAna lo, yadi tuma bhojanake liye na gaye aura usa kAraNa siMghaIjI tumase aprasanna ho gaye to unake dvArA pAThazAlAko jo sahAyatA milatI hai vaha milatI rahegI kyA ? maiMne kahA-'na mile hamArA kyA jAyagA ?' hamArA uttara sunakara bAIjIne kahA ki 'tuma anyanta nAdAna ho| tumane kahA-hamArA kyA jAyagA? are mUrkha ? terA to sarvasva calA jAyagA / Akhira tuma yahI to cAhate ho ki vidyAlayake dvArA chAtra paNDita banakara nikaleM aura jinadharmakI prabhAvanA kreN| yaha vidyAlaya Ajakala dhanika vargake dvArA hI cala rahe haiN| yadyapi paNDita loga cAheM to calA sakate haiM, parantu unake pAsa dravyakI truTi hai| yadi unake pAsa puSkala dravya hotA to ve kadApi parAdhIna hokara adhyayana-adhyApanakA kArya nahIM krte| ataH samayako dekhate hue ina dhanavAnoMse milakara hI abhISTa kAryakI siddhi ho skegii| Aja pAThazAlAmeM 600) mAsikase adhika vyaya hai, yaha kahA~se AtA hai ? inhIM logoMkI badaulata to AtA hai ? ataH bhUlakara bhI na kahanA ki maiM siMghaIjIke yahA~ bhojana ke liye nahIM jaauuNgaa|' maiMne bAIjIkI AjJAkA pAlana kiyaa| sarasvatIbhavanake udghATanake pahale dina pratimAjI virAjamAna karanekA mUhUrta ho gyaa| dUsare dina sarasvatI bhavanake udghATanakA avasara aayaa| maiMne do AlamArI pustakeM sarasvatIbhavanake liye bheMTa kii| prAyaH unameM hastalikhita grantha bahuta the| nyAyadIpikA, parIkSAmukha, AptaparIkSA, prameyakamalamArtaNDa, aSTasahasrI, sUtrajI saTIka, sarvArthasiddhi, rAjavArtika, zlokavArtika, jainendravyAkaraNa, samayasAra, pravacanasAra, AdipurANa Adi aneka zAstra hastalikhita the| udghATana sAgarake prasiddha vakIla svargIya zrIrAmakRSNa rAvake dvArA huaa| antameM maiMne kahA ki 'udghATana to ho gayA, parantu isakI rakSAke liye kucha dravyakI AvazyakatA hai| siMghaIjIne 2501) pradAna kiye| aba maiMne ApakI dharmapatnIse kahA ki 'yaha dravya bahuta svalpa hai, ataH Apake dvArA bhI kucha honA caahiye| Apa sunakara ha~sa gii| maiMne prakaTa kara diyA ki 2501) siMghenajIkA likho| isa prakAra 5002) bhavanakI rakSAke liye ho gye| yaha sarasvatIbhavana sundarUpase calatA hai| lagabhaga 5000 pustakeM hoNgii| ___kucha dina hue ki sAgarameM harijana Andolana Arambha ho gyaa| mandiroMmeM sabako darzana milanA cAhie, kyoMki bhagavAn patitapAvana hai| asavarNa For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 212 logoMkA kahanA thA ki yA to 'patita pAvana' isa stotrakA pATha chor3a do yA hameM bhI bhagavAnke darzana karane do| bAta vicAraNIya hai, parantu yahA~ to itanI gaharI khAI hai ki usakA bharA jAnA asambhava-sA hai| jaba ki yahA~ dassoM takako darzana-pUjanase rokate haiM taba asavarNo kI kathA kauna sunane calA ?' use sunakara to bA~soM uchalane lagate haiN| kyA kaheM ? samayakI balihArI hai| AtmA to sabakA eka lakSaNavAlA hai| kevala karmakRta bheda hai| cAroM gativAlA jIva samyagdarzanakA pAtra hai| phira kyA zudroMke samyagdarzana nahIM ho sktaa| purANoMmeM to cANDAloM takake dharmAtmA honekI kathA milatI hai| nikRSTase nikRSTa jIva bhI samyagdarzanakA dhArI ho sakatA hai| samyagdarzanakI bAta to dUra rahI, aspRzya zudra zrAvakake vrata dhara sakatA hai| astu, isa kathAko chodd'o|| maiMne siMghaIjIse kahA-'Apa eka mAnastambha banavA do, jisameM Upara cAra mUrtiyA~ sthApita hoNgii| hara koI Anandase darzana kara skegaa|' siMghaIjIke udAra hRdayameM vaha bAta A gii| dUsare hI dinase bhaiyAlAla mistrIkI dekharekhameM mAnastambhakA kArya prArambha ho gayA aura tIna mAsameM banakara khar3A ho gyaa| paM. motIlAlajI varNIdvArA samArohase pratiSThA huii| utuMga mAnastambhako dekhakara samavasaraNake dRzyakI yAda A jAtI hai| sAgarameM prativarSa mahAvIra jayantIke dina vidhipUrvaka mAnastambha aura tatstha pratimAoMkA abhiSeka hotA hai, jisameM samasta jaina nara-nAriyoMkA jamAva hotA hai| ___ isa prakAra siMghaI kundanalAlajIke dvArA satata dhArmika kArya hote rahate haiN| aisA paropakArI jIva cirAyu ho| Apake laghu bhrAtA zrI nAthurAmajI siMghaIne bhI dasa hajAra rupayA lagAkara eka gaMgAjamunI cA~dIsonekA vimAna banavAkara mandirajIko samarpita kiyA hai, jo bahuta hI sundara hai tathA sAgarameM apane DhaMgakA eka hI hai| droNagiri droNagiri siddhikSetra bundelakhaNDake tIrthakSetroMmeM sabase adhika ramaNIya hai| harA-bharA parvata aura samIpa hI bahatI huI yugala nadiyA~ dekhate hI banatI haiN| parvata aneka kandarAoM aura nirjharoMse suzobhita hai| zrI gurudatta Adi munirAjoMne apane pavitra pAdarajase isake kaNa-kaNako pavitra kiyA hai| yaha unakA muktisthAna honese nirvANakSetra kahalAtA hai| yahA~ Anese na jAne kyoM manameM apane Apa asIma zAntikA saMcAra hone lagatA hai| yahA~ grAmameM eka aura Upara parvatapara - For Personal & Private Use Only

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droNagiri sattAIsa jina mandira haiM / grAmake mandirameM zrI RSabhadeva svAmI kI zubhrakAya vizAla pratimA hai / para nirantara a~dherA rahanese usameM camagIdar3a rahane lagIM, jisase durgandha AtI rahatI thii| maiMne eka dina siMghaIjIse kahA - 'droNagiri kSetrake gA~vake mandirameM camagIdar3eM rahatI haiM, jisase bar3I avinaya hotI hai| yadi dezI pattharakI eka vedI bana jAve aura prakAzake liye khir3akiyA~ rakha dI jAveM to bahuta acchA ho ?' 213 siMghaIjIke vizAla hRdayameM yaha bAta bhI samA gaI, ataH hamase bole ki 'apanI icchAke anusAra banavA lo|' maiMne bhaiyAlAla mistrI ko, jisane ki mAnastambha banavAyA thA, saba bAteM samajhA dI / usane uttamase uttama vedI banA dii| maiM svayaM vedI aura kArIgarako lekara droNagiri gayA tathA mandirameM yathAsthAna vedI lagavA dI evaM prakAzake liye khir3akiyA~ rakhavA diiN| mandirakI dAlAna meM cAra stambha the| unheM alaga kara Upara gATara DalavA diye, jisase svAdhyAyake liye puSkala sthAna nikala aayaa| pahale vahA~ dasa AdamI kaSTase baiTha pAte the, aba vahA~ pacAsa AdamiyoMke baiThane lAyaka sthAna ho gayA / yahA~ eka bAta vizeSa yaha huI ki jahA~ hama loga Thahare the vahA~ daravAje meM madhumakkhiyoMne chattA lagA liyA, jisase Ane jAnemeM asuvidhA hone lgii| mAliyoMne vicAra kiyA ki jaba saba so jAveM taba dhUma kara diyA jAve, jisase madhumakkhiyA~ ur3a jaayeNgii| aisA karanese sahasroM makkhiyA~ mara jAtIM, ataH yaha bAta sunate hI maiMne mAliyoMse kahA ki 'bhAI ! vedI jar3I jAve, cAhe nahIM jar3I jAve, para yaha kRtya to hama nahIM dekha skte| tuma loga bhUlakara bhI yaha kArya nahIM karanA / ' bharosA mAlI dhArmika thA / usane kahA ki 'Apa nizciMta rahiye, hama aisA kAma na kreNge|' anantara hama zrI jinendradevake pAsa prArthanA karane lage ki "he prabho ApakI mUrtike liye hI vedI bana rahI hai / yadi yaha upadrava rahA to hama loga prAtaHkAla cale jaaveNge| hama to Apake siddhAMtake Upara vizvAsa rakhate haiM / parajIvoMko pIr3A pahu~cAkara dharma nahIM cAhate / Apake jJAnameM jo AyA hai vahI hogA / sambhava hai yaha vighna Tala jAve |'....is prakAra prArthanA karake so gaye / prAtaHkAla uThaneke bAda kyA dekhate haiM ki vahA~ para eka bhI madhumakkhI nahIM hai / phira kyA thA ? pandraha dinameM vedikA jar3a gii| pazcAt paNDita motIlAlajI varNIke dvArA navIna vedikAmeM vidhivat zrIjI virAjamAna ho gaye / For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 214 rUr3hivAdakA eka udAharaNa yaha prAnta ajJAna-timiravyApta hai| ataH aneka kurUr3hiyoMkA zikAra ho rahA hai| kyA jaina, kyA ajaina, sabhI purAnI lIkako pITa rahe haiM aura dharmakI oTameM ApasI vaimanasyake kAraNa eka dUsareko parezAna karate rahate haiN| isI droNagirikI bAta hai| nadIke ghATapara eka brAhmaNakA kheta thaa| unakA lar3akA khetakI rakhavAlI karatA thaa| eka gAya usameM caraneke liye AI aura usane bhagAneke liye eka choTA-sA patthara uThAkara mAra diyaa| gAya bhAga gyii| daivayogase yahI gAya pandraha dina bAda mara gyii| grAmake brAhmaNa tathA itara samAjavAloMne usa bAlakako hI nahIM usake sarvakuTumbako hatyAkA aparAdha lagA diyaa| becArA bar3A duHkhI huaa| antameM paJcAyata huI, maiM bhI vahIM thaa| bahutoMne kahA ki inheM gaMgAjImeM snAna karAkara pazcAt hatyA karanevAloMkI jaisI zuddhi hotI hai vaisI inakI honI caahiye| maiMne kahA-'bhAI ! prathama to inase hiMsA huI nhiiN| niraparAdhako doSI banAnA nyAyasaMgata nhiiN| inake lar3akene gAya bhagAneke liye choTA-sA patthara mAra diyaa| usakA abhiprAya gAya bhagAnekA thA, mAranekA nhiiN| yathArthameM usake pattharase gAya nahIM marI, pandraha dina bAda usakI mauta A gaI, ataH apane Apa mara gaI, isaliye aisA daNDa denA samucita nhiiN| bahutase kahane lage-ThIka hai, para bahutase purAnI rUDhivAle kucha sahamata nahIM hue| antameM yaha nirNaya huA ki ye satyanArAyaNakI eka kathA karavAyeM aura grAma bharake ghara pIche eka AdamI kA bhojana karAveM.isa prakAra zuddhi huii| becAre brAhmaNake sau rupayA kharca ho gye| maiM bahuta khinna huaa| taba brAhmaNa bolA-'Apa kheda na kariye maiM acchA nipaTa gayA, anyathA gaMgAke karma karane par3ate aura taba merI gRhasthI hI samApta ho jaatii|' yaha to vahA~ke rUr3hivAdakA eka udAharaNa hai| isI prakAra vahA~ na jAne prativarSa kitane AdamI rUr3hiyoMke zikAra hote rahate haiN| droNagiri kSetrapara pAThazAlAkI sthApanA maiM jaba papaurAke paravArasabhAke adhivezanameM gayA taba vahA~ seMdapA (droNagiri) nivAsI eka bhAI gayA thaa| usane kaI paNDitoMse nivedana kiyA ki droNagirimeM eka pAThazAlA honI cAhiye, parantu sabane niSedha kara diyaa| antameM mujhase bhI kahA ki 'varNIjI ! droNagirimeM pAThazAlAkI mahatI AvazyakatA hai| maiMne For Personal & Private Use Only

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droNagiri kSetrapara pAThazAlAkI sthApanA 215 kahA- 'acchA jaba AU~gA taba prayatna karU~gA / ' jaba droNagiri AyA taba usakA smaraNa ho AyA, ataH pAThazAlAke kholanekA prayAsa kiyA / para isa grAmameM kyA dharA thA ? yahA~ jainiyoM ke kevala 1 do tIna ghara haiM jo ki sAdhAraNa paristhitiyoMke haiN| melAke avasara para avazya Asa-pAsake loga ekatrita ho jAte haiN| para melA abhI dUra thA, isaliye vicArameM par3a gyaa| itanemeM hI ghuvArAmeM jalavihAra thA / vahA~ jAnekA avasara milaa| maiMne vahA~ ekatrita hue logoMko samajhAyA ki - 'dekho, yaha prAnta vidyAmeM bahuta pIche hai / Apa loga jalavihArameM saikar3oM rupaye kharca kara dete ho, kucha vidyAdAnameM bhI kharca karo / yadi kSetra droNagirimeM eka pAThazAlA ho jAve to anAyAsa hI isa prAntake bAlaka jainadharmake vidvAn ho jaaveNge|' bAta to sabako jaca gaI, para rupayA kahA~se Ave ? kisIne kahA- 'acchA candA kara lo|' candA huA, parantu bar3A parizrama karane para bhI pacAsa rupayA mAsika hI candA ho sakA / I ghuvArAse gaMja gye| vahA~ do sau pacAsa rupayAke lagabhaga candA huaa| siMghaI vRndAvanadAsajI malaharAvAloMne kahA- 'Apa cintA na kariye / hama yathAzakti sahAyatA kreNge|' isa prAntameM vAjanevAle dulIcandrajI bar3e utsAhI navayuvaka haiN| unhoMne kahA- 'hama bhI prANapanase isameM sahAyatA kreNge|' pazcAt melekA suavasara A gyaa| sAgarase paM. munnAlAlajI rA~dhelIya A gye| unhoMne bhI ghora parizrama kiyaa| siMghaI kundanalAlajI se bhI kahA ki yaha prAnta bahuta pichar3A huA hai ataH kucha sahAyatA kIjiye / unhoMne 100) varSa denA svIkRta kiyA / antameM paM. munnAlAlajI aura dulIcandrajIkI sammati se vaisAkha badi 7 saM. 1985 meM pAThazAlA sthApita kara dii| paM. gorelAlajIko bIsa rupayA mAsika para rakha liyA, cAra yA pA~ca chAtra bhI A gaye aura kArya yathAvat calane lagA / eka varSa bItane ke bAda hama loga phira Aye / pAThazAlAkA vArSikotsava huaa| paMDitajIke kAryase prasanna hokara isa varSa siMghaIjIne bar3e Anandase 5000) denA svIkRta kara liyaa| siMghaI vRndAvanadAsajIne eka sarasvatIbhavana banavA diyaa| kaI AdamiyoMne chAtroMke rahaneke lie chAtrAlaya banA diyA / eka kUpa bhI chAtrAvAsa meM bana gyaa| siMghaIjIke choTe bhAI zrI natthA siMghaIne bhI eka koThA banavA diyaa| chAtroM kI saMkhyA 20 ho gaI aura pAThazAlA acchI taraha calane lgii| isameM vizeSa sahAyatA zrI siM. kundanalAlajIkI rahatI hai| Apa prativarSa melAke avasara para Ate haiM aura kSetrakA prabandha bhI Apa hI karate For Personal & Private Use Only

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216 merI jIvanagAthA haiN| Apa kSetra kameTIke sabhApati haiM / I isa prAntameM Apa bahuta dhArmika vyakti haiM / aneka saMsthAoMko yathAsamaya sahAyatA karate haiM / hamAre sAtha ApakA bahuta ghaniSTha sambandha hai / Apa nirantara hamArI cintA rakhate haiN| isa pAThazAlAkA nAma zrI gurudatta digambara jaina pAThazAlA rakhA gayA / dayA hI mAnavakA pramukha karttavya droNagirise lauTakara hama loga sAgara A gye| eka dinakI bAta hai ki maiM paM. veNImAdhavajI vyAkaraNAcArya aura chAtragaNake sAtha sAMyakAlake cAra baje zaucAdikriyAse nivRtta honeke lie gA~vake bAhara eka mIlapara gayA thaa| vahIM kUpa para hAtha dhonekI taiyArI kara rahA thA ki itanemeM eka aurata bar3e jorase rone lgii| hama logoMne pUchA - "kyoM rotI ho ?" usane kahA- 'hamAre pairameM kA~TA laga gayA hai|' hamane kahA - ' batalAoM hama nikAlate haiM / ' parantu bAra-bAra kahane para bhI vaha pairako na chUne detI thii| kahatI thI ki 'maiM jAtikI korina tathA strI huuN| Apa loga paNDita haiN| kaise paira chUne dU~ ?' maiMne kahA- 'beTI ! yaha ApattikAla hai / isa samaya paira chuvAnemeM koI hAni nhiiN|' bamuzkila usane eka lar3akese kahA- 'beTA dekho|' lar3akene paira dekhakara kahA - 'isameM khajUrakA kA~TA TUTa gayA hai jo binA sa~DasIke nikalanekA nhiiN|' sar3akake Upara eka luhArakI dukAna thii| vahA~ eka chAtra sa~DasI leneke liye bhejaa| chAtrane bar3e anunayase sa~DasI mA~gI, para usane na dii| zrI veNImAdhavajI ne kahA- 'jabaradastI chIna lAo / ' chAtra balAtkAra luhArase sa~DasI chIna laae| maiMne cAhA ki sa~DasIse kA~TA nikAla dU~, parantu usa auratane paira chuvAnA svIkAra na kiyA / taba kucha chAtroMne usake hAtha pakar3a liye aura kuchane paira / maiMne sa~DasIse kA~TA dabA kara jyoMhI khIMcA tyoM hI eka a~gulakA kA~TA bAhara A gyaa| sAtha hI khUnakI rA bahane lgii| maiMne pAnI Dholakara dhotI phAr3akara paTTI bA~dha dii| use mUrchA A gii| pazcAt jaba mUrchA zAnta huI taba lakar3IkI maurI uThAnekI ceSTA karane lagI, vaha lakar3ahArI thI / jaMgalase lakar3iyA~ lAI thI / maiMne kahA - 'tuma dhIre-dha re clo| hama tumhArI lakar3iyA~ tumhAre ghara pahu~cA deveNge|' bar3I kaThinatAse vaha maMjUra huii| hama logoMne usakA bojha zirapara rakhakara usake mohallAmeM pahu~cA diyA / usa mohalleke jitane manuSya the, hama logoMkI yaha pravRtti dekhakara hama logoMko devatA kahane lage aura jaba kabhI bhI hama loga vahA~se nikalate the taba For Personal & Private Use Only

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vezyAvyasana 217 dUrase hI namaskAra karate the| likhanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki manuSyako sarvasAdha pAraNa dayAkA udyoga karanA cAhiye, kyoMki dayA hI mAnavakA pramukha karttavya hai| vezyAvyasana eka dina maiM bhramaNa ke liye sTezanakI ora jA rahA thaa| sAthameM eka pulisake klarka bhI the, jinakA vetana eka sau paccIsa rupayA mAsika thaa| kaTarA bAjArakI bAta hai-vRkSake nIce eka AdamI par3A thA, jo zarIrakA sundara thA aura dekhanemeM uttama jAtikA mAlUma hotA thaa| usakI mukhAkRtise pratIta hotA thA ki vaha zokAvasthAmeM nimagna hai| maiMne jijJAsu bhAvase pUchA-'bhAI ! Apa yahA~ nirAzritakI taraha kyoM par3e hue haiM ? Apa AkRtise to bhadra puruSa mAlUma hote haiN| vaha bolA-'maiMne apane pairapara svayaM kulhAr3I mAra lii|' maiM kucha nahIM samajha sakA, ataH maiMne punaH kahA-'isakA kyA tAtparya hai ?' vaha bolA-'hamArI AtmakathA sunanA ho to zAnta hokara suna lo|' vaise to klarka mahodaya, jo ki Apake sAtha haiM, saba jAnate haiN| parantu hamase hI sunanekI icchA ho aura pandraha minaTa kA avakAza ho to sunanekI ceSTA kIjiye, anyathA khuzIse jA sakate usake uttarase merI utkaNThA bar3ha gii| klarka sAhabane bahuta kucha khaa-'cliye|' maiMne kahA-'nahIM jaauuNgaa|' kRpAkara Apa bhI pandraha minaTa Thahara jaaiye|' vaha mere Agrahase Thahara gye| __usane apanI kathA sunAnA prArambha kiyA-'sarva prathama usane sItArAmakA smaraNakara kahA ki 'he maMgalamaya bhagavAna ! terI lIlA aparampAra hai| maiM kyA thA aura kyA ho gayA ? athavA ApakA isameM kyA doSa ? maiM hI apane patita kartavyoMse isa avasthAko prApta huA hU~ | maiM jAtikA nIca nahIM, brAhmaNa huuN| mere sundara strI tathA do bAlaka haiM, jo ki aba gorakhapura cale gaye haiN| maiM pulisa meM havaladAra thaa| mere pAsa pA~ca hajAra nakada rupaye the| bIsa rupayA mAsika vetana thaa| eka dina maiM eka aphasarake yahA~ vezyAkA nAca dekhaneke liye calA gyaa| vahA~ jo vezyA nRtya kara rahI thI, use dekhakara maiM mohita ho gyaa| dUsare dina jaba usake ghara gayA taba usane jAlameM pha~sA liyaa| bahuta kahanese kyA lAbha ? mere pAsa jo sampatti thI vaha maiMne use de dii| jaba rupayA na rahA taba auratake AbhUSaNa dene lgaa| patA lagane para auratane mujhe bahuta kucha samajhAyA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 218 aura kahA ki ApakI isa pravRttiko dhikkAra hai / sundara patnIko chor3akara isa akAryameM pravRtti karate hue Apako lajjA na aaii| aba maiM apane bAlakako lekara apane pitAke ghara jAtI huuN| vahIM para inheM zikSita bnaauuNgii| yadi ApakI pravRtti acchI ho jAya to ghara A jaanaa| yaha saba pApakA phala hai / Apane pulisake muhakamAmeM rahakara jo garIboMko satAyA hai usIkA pratyakSa phala bhoga rahe ho aura Age bhogoge..... / itanA kahakara vaha apane pitAke ghara calI gii| jaba mere pAsa kucha nahIM rahA taba idhara vezyAne apane pAsa Anese roka diyA aura udhara nirantarakI gairahAjirIse pulisakI naukarI chUTa gii| maiM donoM orase bhraSTa ho gayA / na idharakA rahA na udharakA rhaa| aba maiM isI per3ake nIce par3A rahatA hU~, mohallemeM jAkara AdhA sera ATA mA~ga lAtA hU~ aura cAra Tikkara banAkara khA letA huuN|' maiMne kahA- 'isase acchA to yaha hotA ki Apa apane ghara cale jAte aura apane bAlakoMko dekhte|' vaha bolA- 'yaha to asambhava hai|' maiMne kahA- 'jaba ki vaha Apako apane ghara nahIM Ane detI taba yahA~ rahanese kyA lAbha ?' vaha bolA- ' lAbha na hotA to kyoM rahatA ?' maiMne pUchA- 'kyA lAbha hai ?' vaha bolA- 'suno, jaba vaha sAyaMkAla bhramaNake liye bAhara AtI hai taba maiM bar3I adabake sAtha kahatA hU~ kahiye mijAja zarIpha ..... taba vaha mere Upara pAnakI pIka chor3a detI hai aura 10 gAliyA~ detI huI mukhAtiba hokara kahatI hai ki 'bezarama ? yahA~se ghara calA jA / jo rupayA mujhe diyA hai vaha bhI le jA .... basa maiM isIse kRtakRtya ho jAtA hU~.... yaha merI AtmakathA hai| merI isa kathAko sunakara jo isa pApase baceM ve dhanya haiN| vezyA to upalakSaNa hai / parakIya strI mAtrase AtmarakSA karanI caahiye| athavA parastrI to tyAjya hai hI, vivekI manuSyoM ko svastrImeM bhI atyAsakti na rakhanA cAhiye / vezyA vyasanakI bhayaMkaratAkA dhyAna karate hue hama usa dina bhramaNake liye nahIM gye| vahIMse vApisa lauTa Aye ! mahilAkA viveka sAgara meM mantrI pUrNacandrajI bahuta buddhimAn vivekI haiN| unake mitra zrI pannAlAlajI bar3akura the| Apa donoMkI paraspara saMjAtameM kapar3ekI dUkAna thI / Apa donoMmeM sahodara bhAiyoM jaisA prema thA / daivayogase zrI pannAlAlajIkA svAsthya kharAba hone lgaa| Apa cAra mAsa pAThazAlAke svaccha bhavanameM rahe, For Personal & Private Use Only

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mahilAkA viveka 219 parantu svAsthya bigar3atA hI gyaa| cAra mAsa bAda Apa ghara A gye| antameM Apako jalodara roga ho gyaa| eka dina pezAba banda ho gaI, jisase becainI adhika bar3ha gii| sadarase DAkTara sAhaba aaye| unhoMne madhyAhnameM madirAkA pAna karA diyaa| yadyapi isameM na unakI strIkI sammatti thI aura na pUrNacandrajIkI hI rAya thii| phira bhI kuTumbake kucha logoMne balAtkAra pAna karA diyaa| unakI dharmapatnIne mujhe bulAyA, parantu maiM usa dina damoha gayA thaa| jaba cAra bajekI gAr3Ise vApisa AyA aura mujhe unakI bImArIkA patA calA to maiM zIghra hI unake ghara calA gyaa| unakI dharmapatnIne kahA-'varNIjI ! mere patikI avasthA zocanIya hai| ataH inheM sAvadhAna karanA caahie| sAtha hI inase dAna bhI karAnA cAhiye, ataH abhI to Apa jAiye aura sAyaMkAlakI sAmAyika kara A jaaiye| ___ maiM kaTarA gayA aura sAmAyika Adikara zAmake 7 baje bar3akurajIke ghara pahu~ca gyaa| jaba maiM vahA~ paha~cA taba camelIcaukakI aspatAlakA DAkTara thaa| usane eka AdamIse kahA ki 'hamAre sAtha calo, hama barAMDI deNge| use eka choTe glAsase pilA denaa| inheM zAntise nidrA A jaavegii|' pandraha minaTa bAda vaha AdamI davAI lekara A gyaa| choTe glAsameM davAI DAlI gii| usameM madirAkI gandha aaii| maiMne kahA-'yaha kyA hai ?' koI kucha na bolaa| antameM unakI dharmapatnI bolI-'madirA hai yadyapi pUrNacandrajIne aura maiMne kAphI manA kiyA thaa| phira bhI unheM dopaharako madirA pilA dI gaI aura aba bhI vahI madirA dI jA rahI hai|' maiMne kahA-'pA~ca minaTakA avakAza do| maiM zrI pannAlAlajIse pUchatA huuN| maiMne unake zirameM pAnIkA chIMTA dekara pUchA 'bhAI sAhaba ! Apa to vivekI haiN| Apako jo davAI dI jA rahI hai vaha madirA hai| kyA Apa pAna kareMge ?' unhoMne zakti bhara jora dekara kahA-'nahIM AmaraNAnta madirAkA tyAga / sunate hI sabake hoza ThikAne A gaye aura auSadhi denA banda kara diyaa| sabakI yahI sammatti huI ki yadi prAtaHkAla inakA svAsthya acchA rahA to auSadhi denA caahiye| isake bAda maiMne pannAlAlajIse kahA ki 'ApakI dharmapatnIkI sammatti hai ki Apa kucha dAna kareM AyukA kucha vizvAsa nhiiN|' dharmapatnIne bhI kahA ki kitanA dAna denA iSTa hai ?' unhoMne hAtha utthaayaa| auratane kahA ki 'hAthameM pA~ca aMguliyA~ hotI haiM, ataH pA~ca hajAra rupayAkA dAna hamAre patiko iSTa hai| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 220 cUMki unakA prema sadA vidyAdAnameM rahatA thA, ataH yaha rupayA saMskRta vidyAlayako hI denA cAhiye aura mantrI pUrNacandrajIse kahA ki Apa Aja hI dukAnameM vidyAlayake jamA kara lo tathA mere nAma likha do| aba inheM samAdhimaraNa sunanekA avasara hai|' vaha svayaM sunAne lagI aura pandraha minaTa bAda zrI pannAlAlajI bar3akurakA zAntise samAdhimaraNa ho gyaa| isake bAda unakI dharmapatnIne upasthita janatAke samakSa kahA ki 'yaha saMsAra hai| isameM jo paryAya utpanna hotI hai vaha niyamase naSTa hotI hai, ataH hamAre patikI paryAya naSTa ho gii| cU~ki aisA hotA hI hai, ataH isameM Apa logoMko zoka karanA sarvathA anucita hai| yadyapi Apake bar3e bhrAtA va bhatIjeko bandhu-viyogajanya hAni huI, parantu vaha anivArya thii| isameM zoka karanekI kauna-sI bAta ? hama pratidina pATha par3hate haiM 'rAjA rANA chatrapati hAthinake asavAra / maranA sabako eka dina apanI apanI bAra / / dala bala devI devatA mAta pitA privaar| maratI biriyA~ jIvako koI na rAkhana hAra / / ' - jaba ki yaha nizcaya hai taba zoka karanekI kyA bAta hai ? zoka karanekA mUlakAraNa yaha hai ki hama usa parapadArthako apanA samajhate haiN| yadi inameM hamArI yaha dhAraNA na hotI ki hamAre haiM to Aja yaha kuavasara na aataa| astu, ApakI jo icchA ho, usakI zAnti ke liye jo ucita ho vaha kIjiye, parantu maiM to antaraMgameM zoka nahIM caahtii| hA~, lokavyavahArameM dikhAneke liye kucha karanA hI hogaa|' itanA kahakara vaha mUrchita ho gii| prAtaHkAla zrI pannAlAlajIke zavakA dAha-saMskAra huaa| bAlAdapi subhASitaM grAhyam . isake pahalekI bAta hai-baNDAmeM paJcakalyANaka the| hama vahA~ gye| nyAyadivAkara paNDita pannAlAjI pratiSThAcArya the| Apa bahuta hI pratibhAzAlI the| bar3e-bar3e dhanADhya aura vidvAn bhI Apake prabhAvameM A jAte the| usa samaya vidyAkA itanA pracAra na thA, ataH ApakI pratiSThA thI' yaha bAta nahIM thii| Apa vAstavameM paNDita the| acche-acche brAhmaNa paNDita bhI ApakI pratiSThA karate the| chatrapura (chatarapura) ke mahArAjA to Apake ananyabhakta the| jaba Apa chatrapura jAte the taba rAjamahalameM ApakA vyAkhyAna karAte the| Apane bahuta hI vidhipUrvaka pratiSThA kraaii| janatAne acchA dharma lAbha For Personal & Private Use Only

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bAlAdapi subhASitaM grAhyam 221 liyaa| rAjagaddIke samaya mujhe bhI bolanekA avasara aayaa| vyAkhyAnake samaya merA hAtha mejapara par3A, jisase merI a~gUThIkA hIrA nikala gyaa| sabhA visarjana honeke bAda DerAmeM Aye aura Anandase so gye| prAtaHkAla sAmAyikake liye jaba padmAsana lagAI aura hAthapara hAtha rakkhA taba a~gUThI gar3ane lgii| manameM vicAra AyA ki isakA hIrA nikala gayA hai, isIliye isakA sparza kaThora lagane lagA hai| phira isa vikalpako tyAga sAmAyika karane lgaa| sAmAyikake bAda jaba dekhA taba sacamuca aMgaThImeM hIrA na thaa| manameM kheda haA ki pA~ca sau rupaekA hIrA calA gyaa| jisase kaha~gA vahI kahegA ki kaise nikala gayA ? bAIjI bhI raMja kareMgI, ataH kisIse kucha nahIM khtaa| jo huA so huaa| aisA hI to honA thaa| isameM khedakI kauna-sI bAta hai ? jaba taka hamArI aMgUThImeM thA taba taka hamArA thaa| jaba calA gayA taba hamArA na rahA, ataH santoSa karanA hI sukhakA kAraNa hai| parantu phira bhI manameM eka kalpanA AI ki yadi kisIko mila gayA aura usane kA~ca jAnakara pheMka diyA to vyartha hI jAvegA, ataH maiMne svayaMsevakoMko bulAyA aura unake dvArA melAmeM yaha ghoSaNA karA dI ki varNIjIkI aMgUThImeMse hIrA nikala kara kahIM maNDapameM gira gayA hai jo ki pA~ca sau rupaekA hai| yadi kisIko mila jAve to kA~ca samajhakara pheMka na de| unhIMko de deNve| yadi na deneke bhAva ho to use bAjArameM pA~ca sau rupayAse kamameM na deNve| athavA na bece to mudrikAmeM jar3avA leNve|' vaha hIrA jisa bAlakako milA, usane acchA kA~ca samajhakara rakha liyA thaa| jaba maiM bhojana kara rahA thA taba hIrA lekara AyA aura bhojana karaneke bAda yaha kahate hue usane diyA ki 'yaha hIrA mujhe sabhAmaNDapameM, jahA~ ki nRtya hotA thA, milA thaa| maiMne camakadAra dekhakara ise rakha liyA thaa| jisa samaya milA thA usa samaya yaha dUsarA bAlaka bhI vahA~ thaa| yadi yaha na hotA to sambhava hai hamAre bhAva lobhake ho jAte aura Apako na detaa| isa kathAse kucha tattva nhiiN| parantu eka bAta Apase kahanA hamArA kartavya hai| yadyapi hama bAlaka haiM, hamArI gaNanA zikSakoMmeM nahIM aura Apa to varNI haiM, hajAroM AdamiyoMko vyAkhyAna dete haiM, zAstra-pravacana karate haiM, tyAgakA upadeza bhI dete haiM aura bahutase jIvoMkA Apase upakAra bhI hotA hai| phira bhI mana AyA, isaliye kaha rahA hU~ ki ApakI jo mAtA haiM vaha dharmakI mUrti haiN| ApakA mahAna puNyakA udaya hai jo Apako aisI mA~ mila gyii| unake udAra bhAvase Apa yathocita For Personal & Private Use Only

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222 merI jIvanagAthA dravya vyaya kara sakate ho / parantu mujhase pUcho to kyA a~gUThI Apako rakhanI nyAyocita hai| koI kahe yA na kahe, para yaha nizcita hai ki Apa anucita vezabhUSA rakhate haiN| Apa brahmacArI haiN| Apako hIrAkI aMgUThI kyA zobhA detI hai ? yadi Apake telakA hisAba lagAyA jAve to merI samajhase utanemeM eka AdamIkA bhojana ho sakatA hai| Apa do AnA rojakA tela sirameM DAlate haiM / itanemeM Anandase eka AdamIkA peTa bhara sakatA hai / yaha to telakI bAta rahI / yadi phalAdikI bAta kahI jAve to Apa svayaM lajjita ho uTheMge, ataH AzA karatA hU~ ki Apa isakA sudhAra kreNge|' vaha thA to bAlaka, para usake mukhase apanI itanI kharI samAlocanA sunakara maiM bahuta hI prasanna huA aura usI samaya maiMne vaha hIrA siMghaI kundanalAlajIko de diyA tathA bhaviSyameM hIrA pahinane kA tyAga kara diyA / sAtha hI sugandhita teloMkA vyavahAra bhI chor3a diyaa| melA pUrNa honeke bAda sAgara A gyeN| aura Anandase pAThazAlAmeM rahane lage / zrIgommaTezvara - yAtrA saMvat 1976 kI bAta hai| agahanakA mAsa thaa| zaradIkA prakopa vRddhipara thA / isI samaya sAgara jaina samAjakA vicAra zrIgirinArajI tathA jainabidrIkI vandanA karanekA sthira ho gyaa| avasara dekha bAIjIne mujhase kahA- 'beTA ! eka bAra jainabidrIkI yAtrAke liye calanA caahiye| mere manameM zrI 1008 gommaTezvara svAmIkI mUrtike darzana karanekI bar3I utkaNThA hai|' maiMne kahA - 'bAIjI ! sAta sau rupayA vyaya hogA / lalitAko bhI sAtha le jAnA hogaa|' unhoMne kahA'beTA ! rupayoMkI cintA na kro|' usI samaya unhoMne yaha kahate hue sAta sau rupaye sAmane rakha diye ki maiM yaha rupaye yAtrAke nimitta pahalese hI rakkhe thI / itanemeM mulAbAIne bhI yAtrAkA pakkA vicAra kara liyaa| seTha kamalApatijI varAyaThAvAloMkA bhI vicAra sthira ho gayA aura zrIyuta gulAbI, jo ki paM. manoharalAlajI varNIke pitA the, yAtrAke lie taiyAra ho ge| eka jainI kaTarAbAjArameM thaa| mulAbAIne use sAtha le jAnekA nizcaya kara liyaa| isa prakAra hama logoMkA yAtrAkA pUrNa vicAra sthira ho gyaa| saba sAmagrIkI yojanA kI gaI aura zubha muhUrtameM prasthAna karanekA nizcaya kiyA gayA zrI siMghaI kundanalAlajI, jo hamAre paramasnehI haiM, Aye aura hamase kahane lage ki Anandase jAiye aura tIna sau rupayA mere lete jaaiye| inake For Personal & Private Use Only

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zrIgommaTezvara-yAtrA 223 sivAya do sau rupayA yaha kahate hue aura diye ki jahA~ Apa samajheM vahA~ vratabhaNDArameM de denaa| maiMne bahuta kucha kahA, parantu unhoMne eka na maanii| jaba maiM yAtrAke lie calane lagA taba sTezana taka bahuta janatA AI aura sabane nAriyala bheMTa kiye| hama sAgara sTezanase calakara bInA aaye| yahA~ bhI siMghaI paramAnandajI apane ghara le gaye tathA eka rAtri nahIM jAne diyaa| Apa bar3e hI dharmAtmA puruSa the| bInAmeM zrI jaina mandira bahuta ramaNIka haiM tathA usImeM lagA huA pAThazAlAkA borDiMga bhI hai, jisakA vyaya zrI siMghaI zrInandalAlajIke dvArA samyaka prakArase calatA hai| yahA~ bhojana kara nAsikakA TikaTa liyaa| mArgameM bhelasA sTezanapara bahuta se sajjana mile aura zrIphala bheMTameM de gye| rAtrike samaya nAsika phuNce| yahA~se tA~gA kara zrIgajapanthAjI pahu~ca gye| sAta balabhadra aura ATha karor3a muni jahA~se muktiko prApta hue usa parvatako dekhakara cittameM bahuta prasannatA huii| manameM yaha vicAra AyA ki aisA nirmala sthAna dharmasAdhanake lie atyanta upayukta hai| yadi yahA~ koI dharmasAdhana kare to saba sAmagrI sulabha hai, jala-vAyu uttama hai tathA khAdya-peya padArtha bhI yogya milate haiN| parantu mUla kAraNa to pariNAmoMkI svacchatA hai, jisakA abhAva hai| ataH manakA vicAra manameM raha jAtA hai| yahA~se calakara pUnA Aye, zaharameM gaye aura pUjanAdi karaneke bAda bhojana kara belagA~va cale gye| sTezanase dharmazAlAmeM phuNce| dharmazAlA mandirakI eka dahalAnameM thI, ataH saba loga usImeM Thahara gye| maiM dahalAnase makAnameM calA gyaa| yahA~ para kyA dekhatA hU~ ki eka manuSya baiThA huA hai aura usake kaNThameM eka puSpamAlA par3I huI hai| merA mana usake dekhanemeM laga gyaa| maiM vicAratA hU~ ki aisA sundara manuSya to maiMne Ajataka nahIM dekhA, ataH bAra-bAra usakI ora dekhatA rhaa| antameM maiMne kahA-'sAhaba itane nizcala baiThe haiM jaise dhyAna kara rahe hoM, para vaha samaya dhyAnakA nhiiN| dinake tIna baja cuke haiN| yaha to kahiye ki dharmazAlAmeM eka koTharI hama logoMkI Thaharaneke lie milegI yA nhiiN|' jaba kucha uttara na milA taba maiMne sthira dRSTise phira dekhA aura bar3e Azcaryake sAtha kahA-'are ! yaha to pratimA hai| vAstavameM maiMne utanI sundara pratimA anyatra to nahIM dekhii| astu, yahA~ para do dina rhe| kilA dekhane gye| usameM kaI jinamandira haiM, jinakI kalA-kuzalatA dekhakara zilpa-vidyAke niSNAta For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 224 vidvAnoMkA smaraNa ho AtA hai| Ajakala pattharoMmeM aisA bArIka kAma karanevAle zAyada hI mileNge| yahA~ para kaI caityAlayoMmeM tAmrakI mUrtiyA~ dekhanemeM aaiiN| yahA~se calakara ArasIkerI Aye aura vahA~se calakara mndgiri| yahA~ para zrImAn svargIya guramukharAya sukhAnandajIkI dharmazAlA hai jo ki bahuta hI manojJa hai| yahA~ hamalogoMne nadIke Upara bAlUkA cabUtarA banAkara zrI jinendradevakA pUjana kiyaa| bahuta hI nirmala pariNAma rhe| yahIM para merA atyanta iSTa cAkU gira gyaa| isakI tArIpha sunakara Apako bhAratake kArIgiroM para zraddhA hogii| orachAke eka luhArase vaha cAkU liyA thaa| lete samaya kArIgirane usakI kImata pA~ca rupayA maaNgii| maiMne kahA-'bhAI, rAjisa cAkUkI bhI to itanI kImata nahIM hotii| jhUTha mata bolo|' vaha bolA-'Apa rAjisa cAkUko lar3Akara isake guNako parIkSA krnaa|' maiMne pA~ca rupayA de diye| daivayogase maiM jhA~sIse baruAsAgara AtA thaa| rela meM eka AdamI mila gyaa| usake pAsa rAjisa cAkU thaa| vaha bolA-'hindustAnake kArIgira aisA cAkU nahIM banA skte|' maiMne kahA-'dekho bhAI ! yaha eka cAkU hamAre pAsa hai|' usane mukha banAkara kahA ApakA cAkU kisa kAmakA ? yadi maiM rAjisa cAkU isake Upara paTaka dUM to ApakA cAkU TUTa jaavegaa|' maiMne kahA-'Apa aisA karake dekha lo| Aja isakI parIkSA ho jaavegii| pA~ca rupayekI bAta nhiiN|' usane kahA-'yaha to eka AnAkA bhI nhiiN| maiMne kahA-'jaldI parIkSA kiijiye|' usane jyoM hI apanA rAjisa cAkU mere cAkU para paTakA tyoM hI vaha mere cAkUkI dhArase kaTa gyaa| yaha dekha mujhe vizvAsa huA ki bhAratameM bhI bar3e-bar3e kArIgira haiM, parantu hamaloga unakI pratiSThA nahIM krte| kevala videzI kArIgiroMkI prazaMsA kara apaneko dhanya samajhate haiN| astu, yahA~se nau mIla zrIgommaTasvAmIkA bimba thaa| unake mukhabhAgake darzana yahIMse hone lge| bhojana karaneke bAda cAra baje zrI jainabidrI pahu~ca gye| cUMki grAmameM kucha plegakI zikAyata thI, ataH grAmake bAhara eka gRhasthake ghara Thahara gaye, rAtribhara Anandase rahe aura zrI gommaTasvAmIkI carcA karate rhe| prAtaHkAla snAnAdi kAryase nivRtta hokara zrI gommaTasvAmIkI vandanAko cle| jyoM-jyoM pratimAjIkA darzana hotA thA tyoM-tyoM hRdayameM AnandakI lahareM uThatI thiiN| jaba pAsameM pahu~ca gaye taba AnandakA pArAvAra na rhaa| bar3I bhaktise pUjana kiyaa| jo Ananda AyA vaha avarNanAtIta hai| pratimAkI manojJatA kA varNana karaneke For Personal & Private Use Only

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zrIgommaTezvara - yAtrA liye hamAre pAsa sAmagrI nahIM / parantu hRdayameM jo utsAha huA vaha hama hI jAnate haiM, kahanemeM asamartha haiN| isake bAda nIce caturviMzati tIrthaMkaroMkI mUrtike darzana kiye| pazcAt zrIbhaTTArakake mandirameM gaye / vahA~kI pUjanavidhi dekha AzcaryameM par3a gye| yahA~ para pujanakI jo vidhi hai vaha uttara bhAratameM nahIM / yahA~ zuddha pAThakA par3hanA Adi yogya rItise hotA hai / parantu eka bAta hamArI dRSTimeM anucita pratIta huii| vaha yaha hai ki yahA~ jo dravya car3hAte haiM use pujArI le jAte haiM aura apane bhojanameM lAte haiN| 225 yeong yahA~kA varNana zravaNabelagolAke itihAsase Apa jAna sakate haiM / yahA~ para manuSya bahuta hI sajjana haiN| eka dinakI bAta hai - maiM kUpake Upara snAna karaneke liye gayA aura vahA~ eka hajAra rupayAke noTa chor3a AyA / jaba bhojana kara cukA taba smaraNa AyA ki noTakA baTuvA to kUpapara chor3a Aye / ekabAra vyAkulatA aaii| bAIjIne kahA - 'itanI AkulatA kyoM ?' maiMne kahA - 'noTa bhUla AyA / ' bAIjI bolIM- 'cintA na kro| prathama to noTa mila jAveMge, yaha jagadvikhyAta bAhubalI svAmIkA kSetra hai tathA hama zubha pariNAmoMse yAtrA karaneke liye Aye haiN| isake sivAya hamArA jo dhana hai vaha anyAyopArjita nahIM hai, yaha hamArA dRr3ha vizvAsa hai / dvitIya yadi na mileM to eka tAra siMghaI kundanalAlajI ko de do| rupayA AjAveMge / cintA karanA vyartha hai / jAo kUpapara dekha aao|' maiM kUpapara gayA to dekhatA hU~ ki baTuvA jahA~ para rakhA thA vahIM para rakhA hai| maiMne Azcaryase kahA ki yahA~ para jo strI-puruSa the unameMse kisIne yaha baTuvA nahIM utthaayaa| ve bole-'kyoM uThAte ? kyA hamArA thA ?' unhoMne apanI bhASA karNATakImeM uttara diyA para vahIM jo do bhASAkA jAnanevAlA thA, maiMne usase unakA abhiprAya samajhA / T yahA~ para cAra dina rahakara mUDabidrIke lie prasthAna kara diyA / mArgameM araNyakI zobhA dekhate hue zrIkArakala pahu~ce / chaH mIla moTara nahIM jAtI thI, ataH gAr3ImeM jAnA pdd'aa| mArgameM bAIjI laghuzaMkAke liye nIce utarIM / cAra baje rAtrikA samaya thA / utarate hI bailane bar3e vegase lAta mArI, jisase bAIkI madhyamA aMgulI phaTa gii| haDDI dikhane lagI / rudhira kI dhArA baha uThI, parantu bAIjIne Aha na kI / kevala itanA kahA - 'seTha kamalApatijI ! bailane aMgulImeM lAta mAra dii|' pazcAt vahA~se calakara eka dharmazAlAmeM Thahara gye| vahIM para sAmAyikAdi kArya kiye| jaba prAtaHkAla huA taba hamane / For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 226 kahA-'bAIjI ! aspatAla calakara davAI lagavA liijiye|' bAIjIne niSedha kara diyA ki hama aspatAlakI davAkA prayoga nahIM kareMge, kyoMki usameM varAMDIkA juja rahatA hai| unhoMne kaNDekI rAkha ko chAnakara ghImeM manthana kara lgaayaa| tIna mAsameM aMgulI acchI huI, parantu unhoMne aspatAlakI davAIkA prayoga nahIM kiyaa| ____ kArakala kSetra bahuta hI ramya aura manorama hai| yahA~ para zrI bhaTTAraka mahArAjake maThameM Thahara gye| yahIM para hamAre ciraparicita zrI kumArayyAjI mila gye| Apane pUrNa rItise Atithya-satkAra kiyaa| tAje nAriyalakI girI tathA uttama cAvala Adi sAmagrIse bhojana kraayaa| bhojanake bAda hama loga zrIgommaTasvAmIkI pratimAke, jo ki khar3agAsana hai, darzana karaneke liye gye| bahuta hI manojJa mUrti hai| tIsa phuTa U~cI hogii| sundaratAmeM to yahI bhAna hotA hai ki mUDabidrIke kArIgirane hI yaha mUrti banAI ho| manameM yahI bhAva AtA thA ki he prabho ! bhAratavarSameM eka samaya vaha thA jaba ki aisI-aisI bhavya mUrtiyoMkI pratiSThA hotI thii| yaha kAma rAjA-mahArAjoMkA thaa| Aja to jainadharmake rAjA na honese dharmAyatanoMkI rakSA karanA kaThina ho rahA hai| yahIM para maThake sAmane choTI-sI TekarI para eka vizAla mandira hai, jisameM vedIke cAroM tarapha sundara-sundara manohArI bimba hai| isake anantara eka mandira sarovarameM hai| usake darzanake liye gye| bAdameM zrIneminAtha svAmIkI zyAmamUrtike darzana kiye| mUrti padamAsana thii| andara aura bhI aneka mandiroMke darzana kiye| yahIM para eka vizAla mAnastambha hai, jisake darzana kara yahI smaraNa hotA hai ki isake darzanase prANiyoMke mAna gala jAte the, yaha asambhava nhiiN| saba mandiroMke darzana kara Dere para A gye| rAtrike samaya AratI dekhane gye| eka pardA par3A thaa| pujArI mantradvArA AratI par3ha rahA thaa| jaba pardA khulA taba kyA dekhatA hU~ ki jagamaga jyoti ho rahI hai| cAvaloMkI tIsa yA cAlIsa phUlI-phUlI pur3I, kelA, nAriyala Adi phaloMkI puSkalatAse vedI suzobhita ho rahI hai| dekhakara bahuta hI Azcarya meM par3a gyaa| citta vizuddha bhAvoMse pUrita ho gyaa| vahA~ do dina rhe| pazcAt zrImUDabidrIko prasthAna kara gye| ___eka ghaNTeke bAda mUDabidrI pahu~ca bhI gye| yahA~ para bhI hamAre ciraparicita zrInemisAgarajI mila gye| yahA~ke mandiroMkI zobhA avarNanIya hai| eka mandira, For Personal & Private Use Only

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zrIgommaTezvara - yAtrA I jisako trailokyatilaka kahate haiM, atyanta vizAla hai| isameM pratimAoMkA samUha hai| sabhI pratimAe~ ramaNIka haiM / eka pratimA sphaTikamaNikI bahuta hI manohara aura cittAkarSaka hai / siddhAntamandirake darzana kiye| ratnamayI bimboMke darzana kiye| darzana karAnevAle aisI sundara racanAse darzana karAte haiM ki samavasaraNakA bodha parokSameM ho jAtA hai| aisA sundara dRzya dekhanemeM AtA hai ki mAno svargakA caityAlaya ho / yahIM para tAr3apatroMpara likhe gaye siddhAntazAstrake darzana kiye| yaha nagara kisI kAlameM dhanADhya mahApuruSoMkI bastI rahA hogA, anyathA itane amUlya ratnoMke bimba kahA~ se Ate ? dhanya hai una mahAnubhAvoMko jo aisI amara kIrti kara gaye / yahA~ para zrI bhaTTArakajI the, jo bahuta hI vRddha aura vidvAn the / Apa do ghaNTA zrI jinendradevakI arcAmeM lagAte the / arcA hI meM nahIM, svAdhyAyakA bhI Apako vyasana thA tathA koSake rakSaka bhI the| ApakI bhojanazAlAmeM kitane hI brahmacArI tyAgI AjAveM sabake bhojanakA prabandha thA / hamAre lie jisa vastukI AvazyakatA par3I vaha Apake dvArA mila gaI / isake sivAya hamAre cira-paricita nemisAgara chAtrane saba prakArakA Atithya satkAra kiyA / nAriyalakI girikA to itanA svAda hamane kahIM nahIM paayaa| isa taraha tIna dina hamAre itane Anandase gaye ki jisakA varNana nahIM kara skte| 1 I yahA~se phira belagA~va hokara pUnA Agaye aura pUnAse bambaI na jAkara manamAr3a A gye| yahA~se elorAkI guphA dekhaneke liye daulatAbAda cale Aye / vahA~ke mandirake darzanakara guphA dekhane gaye / bIcameM eka rojAgA~va milatA hai vahIM para DAka-ba~galAmeM Thahara gaye / ba~galAse eka mIla dUra guphA thI, vahA~ gaye / guphA kyA hai, mahala hai| prathama to kailAza guphAko dekhA / guphAse yaha na samajhanA ki do yA cAra manuSya baiTha skeN| usake bIcameM eka mandira aura cAroM ora cAra barAmadA / tIna barAmadA itane bar3e ki jinameM pratyeka meM pA~ca sau AdamI A sakeM / caturtha barAmade meM sampUrNa devatAoMkI mUrtiyA~ thiiN| bIcameM eka bar3A A~gana thaa| A~ganameM eka zivajIkA mandira thA jo ki eka hI pattharameM khudA huA hai| mandirake sAmanekA bhAga chor3akara tInoM ora bhItapara hAthI khude hue haiM, Upara jAneke lie sIr3hiyA~ bhI usI mandirameM haiM, chata hai, zikhara hai, kalazA bhI hai aura khUbI yaha hai ki saba eka pattharakI racanA hai, ityAdi kahA~ taka likheM ? yahA~se zrI pArzvanAtha guphA dekhane gaye / bhItara jAkara dekhate haiM to mandirake itane bar3e khambhe dikhe ki jinakA gherA cAra gajase kama na hogA / mUrtiyoMkI racanA apUrva 227 For Personal & Private Use Only

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228 merI jIvanagAthA hai| bahuta hI sundara racanA hai / isake bAda bauddha guphA dekhane gye| yaha bhI apUrva guphA thI / mUrtikA mukha dekhakara mujhe to jaina bimbakA hI nizcaya ho gayA / yahA~para pacAsoM guphAe~ jo eka-se-eka bar3hakara haiN| eka bAta vicAraNIya hai ki vahA~ saba dharmavAloMke mandira pAye jAte haiM / una logoMmeM paraspara kitanA saumanasa hogaa| Aja to sAmpradAyikatAne bhAratako gArata banA diyA / dharma to AtmAkI svAbhAvika pariNati hai / upAsanAke bhedase I janatAmeM paraspara bahuta hI vaimanasya ho gayA hai jo ki duHkhakA kAraNa bana rahA hai| yaha AtmA anAdise AnAtmIya padArthoMmeM AtmabuddhikI kalpanAkara ananta saMsArakA pAtra bana rahA hai| ise na to koI naraka le jAtA hai aura na koI svarga / yaha apane hI zubhAzubhakarmoMke dvArA svargAdi gatiyoMmeM bhramaNa karanekA pAtra hotA hai| manuSyajanma pAnekA to yaha karttavya thA ki apane sadRza sabakI rakSA meM prayatnazIla hote| jaise duHkha apane lie iSTa nahIM vaise hI anyako bhI nahIM / phira hameM anyako kaSTa denekA kyA adhikAra ? astu, yaha guphA haidarAbAda rAjyameM hai / rAjyake dvArA yahA~kA prabandha acchA hai| saba guphAe~ surakSita haiN| pahale samaya meM dharmAndha manuSyoMne kucha kSati avazya pahu~cAI hai| na jAne manuSya jAtimeM bhI kaise-kaise rAkSasa paidA hote haiM ? jinakA yaha andha vizvAsa hai ki hama jo kucha ucita yA anucita kareM vahI ucita hai aura jo anya loga karate haiM vaha saba mithyA hai| itane matoMkI sRSTikA mUla kAraNa inhIM manuSyoMke pariNAmoMkA to phala hai| dharma to AtmAkI vaha pariNati hai jisase na to AtmA Apa saMsArakA pAtra ho aura na jisa AtmAko vaha upadeza kara vaha bhI saMsAra vanameM rule| pratyuta anukUla calakara bandhanase chUTe / parantu aba to hiMsAdi paJca pApoMke poSaka hokara bhI Apako dhArmika banAnekA prayatna karanemeM bhI apanI sampUrNa zakti lagA dete haiN| jaise bakarA kATakara bhI kahate haiM ki bhagavatI mAtA prasanna hotI haiN| gokuzI karake paravardagAra jahA~panAhako prasanna karanekI ceSTAkI jAtI hai| yaha saba anAtmIya padArthoMmeM AtmA mAnanekA phala hai| yahI kAraNa hai ki yahA~ bhI guphAoMmeM jo mUrtiyA~ haiM unake bahutase aMga-bhaMga kara diye gaye haiN| vizeSa kyA likheM ? yahA~ jaisI guphA bhAratavarSameM anya nahIM / yahA~ Akara daulatAbAda kilA dekhA / vaha bhI darzanIya vastu hai / mIloM lambI suraMga hai / eka suraMgameM maiM calA gyaa| eka pharlAMga gyaa| phira bhayase lauTa aayaa| Ane-jAnemeM koI kaSTa nahIM huA / caparAsI bolA- 'yadi cale jAte to cAra pharlAMga bAda tumheM mArga mila jAtA / kilA dekhakara hama loga phira relave For Personal & Private Use Only

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zrIgommaTezvara-yAtrA 229 sTezana A gaye aura vahA~se gAr3I meM baiThakara girinArakI yAtrAke lie cala diye| rAtrikA samaya thaa| bAIjIne zrIneminAthajIke bhajana aura bArahamAsI AdimeM pUrNa rAtri sukhapUrvaka bitA dii| prAtaHkAla hote-hote sUratakI sTezanapara pahu~ca gaye aura vahA~se dharmazAlAmeM jAkara Thahara gye| darzana pUjanakara phira relameM savAra ho zrI girinArajIke lie prasthAna kiyaa| vahA~ pahu~cane para zaharakI dharmazAlAmeM Thahara gaye / zrIneminAtha svAmIke darzana kara mArga prayAsako bhUla gye| bAdameM talahaTI pahuMce aura vahA~se zrI girinAra parvatapara gye| parvatapara zrIneminAtha svAmIkA darzana kara gadgad ho gye| parvatake Upara nAnA prakArake puSpoMkI bahAra thii| kunda jAtike puSpa bahuta hI sundara the| digambara mandirake darzanakara zvetAmbara mandirameM gye| yAtriyoMke lie isa mandirameM saba prakArakI suvidhA hai| bhojanAdikA uttama prabandha hai| yadi koI vAstavika virakta ho aura yahA~ rahakara dharmasAdhanakI icchA rakhatA ho to isa mandirameM bAhya sAdhanoMkI sulabhatA hai| digambaroMkA mandira ramaNIka hai aura zrIneminAtha svAmIkI mUrti bhI atyanta manojJa hai| parantu yadi koI rahakara dharmasAdhana karanA cAhe to kucha bhI prabandha nahIM, kyoMki yahA~ to parvatake Upara rahanA mahAn avinayakA kAraNa samajhate haiN| jahA~ avinaya hai vahA~ dharmakI sambhAvanA kaisI ? kyA kaheM ? logoMne dharmakA rahasya bAhya kAraNoMpara mAna rakkhA hai aura isIpara bala dete haiN| para vAstavika bAta yaha hai ki jahA~ bAhya padArthoM kI mukhyatAkA Azraya liyA jAtA hai vahA~ abhyantara dharmakI udbhUti nahIM hotii| vinaya-avinayakI bhI maryAdA hotI hai| nimittakAraNoMkI vinaya utanI hI yogya hai jo AbhyantarameM sahAyaka ho| jaise samyagdarzanakA pratipAdaka jo dravyAgama hai usako hama mastakase aJjali lagAkara vinaya karate haiM, kyoMki usake dvArA hamako arthAgama aura jJAnAgamakI prApti hotI hai| kevala pustakakI vinaya karanese arthAgama aura jJAnAgamakA lAbha na hogaa| parvata parama pUjya hai| hameM usakI vinaya karanA cAhie, yaha sabako iSTa hai| parantu kyA isakA yaha artha hai ki parvata para jAnA hI nahIM cAhie ? kyoMki yAtrAkA sAdhana padayAtrA hai| phira jahA~ padataloMse sambandha hogA vahA~ yadi avinaya mAna lI jAve to yAtrA hI niSiddha ho jaavegii| so to nahIM ho sktaa| isI prakAra parvatoMpara rahanese jo zArIrika kriyAe~ AhAra-vihArakI haiM ve to karanI hI pdd'eNgii| vahA~ rahakara mAnasika pariNAmoMkI nirmalatAkA sampAdana karanA caahiye| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 230 isa prakAra UhApoha karate hue hama loga eka mIla na cale hoMge ki eka sAdhu logoMkA akhAr3A milaa| kaI gAyeM bhI vahA~ para thiiN| aneka bAhya sAdhana zarIrake puSTikara the| sAdhu loga bhI zarIrase puSTa the aura zrI rAmacandrajIke upAsaka the| kalyANa-icchuka avazya haiM, parantu parigrahane usameM bAdhA DAla rakkhI hai| yadi yaha parigraha na ho to kalyANakA mArga pAsa hI hai, para parigrahakA pizAca to hRdayapara apanA aisA prabhAva jamAye hai, jisase gharakA tyAga kisI upayogameM nahIM aataa| ghara kA tyAganA koI kaThina vastu nahIM, parantu Abhyantara mUrchA tyAganA sarala bhI nahIM | tyAga to Abhyantara hI hai| Abhyantara kaSAyake binA bAhya veSakA koI mahattva nhiiN| sarpa bAhya kA~calI chor3a detA hai| parantu viSa nahIM tyAgatA, ataH usakA bAhya tyAga koI mahattva nahIM rkhtaa| isI prakAra koI bAhya vastrAdi to tyAga de aura antaraMga rAgAdi nahIM tyAge to usa tyAgakA kyA mahattva ? dhAnyake UparI chilakAkA tyAga kiye binA cAvalakA mala nahIM jAtA, ataH bAhya tyAgakI bhI AvazyakatA hai| parantu itane hI se koI cAhe ki hamArA kalyANa ho jAvegA so nhiiN| dhAnyake chilakAkA tyAga hone para bhI cAvalameM lage hue kaNako dUra karaneke liye kuTanekI AvazyakatA hai| phira bhalA jinake bAhya tyAga nahIM unake to antaraMga tyAgakA leza bhI nhiiN| maiM kisI anya matake sAdhukI apekSA kathana nahI krtaa| parantu merI nijI sammati to yaha hai ki bAhya tyAga binA antaraMga tyAga nahIM hotA aura yaha bhI niyama nahIM ki bAhya tyAga honepara Abhyantara tyAga ho hI jAve / hA~, itanA avazya hai ki bAhya tyAga honese hI antaraMga tyAga ho sakatA hai| dRSTAnta jitane milate haiM, sarvAMzameM nahIM milate, ataH vastusvarUpa vicAranA caahiye| dRSTAnta to sAdhaka hai| aba hamako prakRtameM AnA caahiye| jahA~ hamAre pariNAmoMmeM rAgAdikase udAsInatA AvegI vahA~ svayameva bAhya padArthoM se udAsInatA A jaavegii| parapadArthake grahaNa karanemeM mUla kAraNa rAgAdika hI haiN| bAhya padArtha hI na hote to anAzraya rAgAdika na hote aisA kutarka karanA nyAyamArgase viruddha hai| jisa prakAra jIvadravya anAdikAlase svataH siddha hai usI prakAra dravya bhI anAdise hI svataH siddha hai| koI kisIko na to banAnevAlA hai aura na koI kisIkA vinAza karanevAlA hai| svayameva yaha prakriyA calI A rahI hai| padArthoM meM pariNamana svayameva ho rahA hai| kumbhakArakA nimitta pAkara ghaTa bana jAtA avazya hai, para na to kumbhakAra miTTImeM kucha atizaya kara detA hai aura na miTTI kumbhakArameM kucha atizaya paidA kara detI hai| kumbhakArakA vyApAra kumbhakArameM hotA hai aura miTTIkA vyApAra mittttiimeN| phira bhI For Personal & Private Use Only

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zrIgommaTezvara - yAtrA laukika vyavahAra aisA hotA hai ki kumbhakAra ghaTakA kartA hai| yaha bhI nirmUla kathana nhiiN| ise sarvathA na mAnanA bhI yuktisaMgata nahIM / yahA~ manameM yaha kalpanA AI ki sAdhutA to saMsAra- duHkha haraneke liye rAmabANa auSadhi hai, parantu nAmasAdhutAse kucha tattva nahIM nikalatA - 'A~khoMke andhe nAma nainasukha' / yahA~se calakara zrIneminAtha svAmIke nirvANasthAnako, jo ki paJcama ToMkapara hai, cala diye / Adha ghaNTA bAda pahu~ca gye| usa sthAnapara eka choTI-sI mar3hiyA banI huI hai| koI to ise AdamabAbA mAnakara pUjate haiM, koI dattAtreya mAnakara upAsanA karate haiM aura jainI loga zrIneminAthajI mAnakara upAsanA karate haiN| aMtima mAnanevAloMmeM hama loga the| hamane tathA kamalApati seTha, svargIya bAIjI aura svargIya mulAbAI Adine Anandase zrIneminAtha svAmIkI bhAvapUrvaka pUjA kii| isake bAda Adha ghaNTA vahA~ Thahare / sthAna ramya thA / parantu dasa baja gaye the, ataH adhika nahIM Thahara sake / yahA~se calakara eka ghaMTA bAda zeSA vana (sahasAmravana) meM A gaye / yahA~kI zobhA avarNanIya hai / saghana Amra vana hai| upayogavizuddhatAke lie ekAnta sthAna hai, parantu kSudhAbAdhAke kAraNa eka ghaNTA bAda parvatake nIce jo dharmazAlA hai usameM A gaye aura bhojanAdise nizcinta ho gaye / tIna baje utthe| thor3A kAla svAdhyAya kiyA / yahA~para brahmacArI bharatapuravAloMse paricaya huA / Apa bahuta vilakSaNa jIva haiM / yahA~ rahakara Apa dharma sAdhana karate haiM / parantu jaise Apane sthAna cunA vaise pariNAma na cunA, anyathA phira yahA~se anyatra jAnekI icchA na hotii| manuSya cAhatA to bahuta hai parantu karttavya - pathameM usakA aMza bhI nahIM laataa| yahI kAraNa hai ki Ajanma kolhU ke bailakI dazA rahatI hai / cakkara to hajAroM mIlakA ho jAtA hai, parantu kSetrakI sImA dasa yA bAraha gaja hI rahatI hogii| isI prakAra isa saMsArI jIvakA prayAsa hai| isI caturgatike bhItara hI ghUmatA rahatA hai| jisa prayAsase isa caturgatimeM bhramaNa na ho usa ora lakSya nhiiN| jo prayAsa hama kara rahe haiM, zubhAzubha bhAvase pare nhiiN| isase pare jo vastu hai vaha hamAre dhyAnameM nahIM AtI, ataH nirantara isIke cakrameM par3e rahate haiM / usa cakrase nikalanekI yogyatA bhI mila jAtI hai, parantu anAdikAlIna saMskAroMke dRr3ha prabhAvase upayogameM nahIM lAte / antameM jahA~ yogyatA nahIM usI paryAyameM cale jAte haiM / brahmacArI choTelAlajI yogya vyakti haiM, parantu itanI kathA karate haiM ki apanI yogyatAko ayogya dazAmeM lA dete haiN| astu, unakI kathA kyA likheM, hama svayaM 231 For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 232 usI svA~gake pAtra haiN| yahA~ do dina rahakara pazcAt bar3audAke lie prayANa kiyaa| yahA~ bahuta sthAna paropakArake haiN| parantu unheM dekhanekA na to prayAsa kiyA aura na ruci hI huii| yahA~se calakara AbUror3apara Aye aura yahA~se moTarameM baiThakara pahAr3ake Upara gye| pahAr3ake Upara jAnekA mArga sarpakI cAlake samAna laharAtA huA ghumAvadAra hai| Upara jAkara digambara mandirameM Thahara gye| bahuta hI bhavya mUrti hai| yahA~ para zvetAmbaroMke mandira bahuta hI manojJa haiN| unheM dekhanese hI unakI kArIgarIkA paricaya ho sakatA hai| kahate haiM ki usa samaya ina mandiroMke nirmANameM solaha karor3a rupaye lge| parantu vartamAnameM to arabameM bhI vaisI sundaratA AnA kaThina hai| ina mandiroMke madhya eka choTA-sA mandira digambaroMkA bhI hai| yahA~se 6 mIla dUrIpara eka dilavAr3A hai, jahA~ eka pahAr3Ipara zvetAmbaroM ke vizAla mandirameM aisI hI pratimA hai jisameM bahubhAga suvarNakA hai| eka sarovara bhI hai jisake taTapara saMgamarmarakI aisI gAya banI huI hai jo dUrase gAyake sadRza hI pratIta hotI hai| yahA~para do dina rahakara pazcAt ajamera A gye| yahA~ zrI sonI bhAgacandrajI rahate haiM jo ki vartamAnameM jainadharmake saMrakSaka haiM, mahopakArI haiN| Apake mandira naziyAjI Adi apUrva-apUrva sthAna haiN| unake darzanakara cittameM atizAnti aaii| yahA~ do dina rahakara jayapura A gaye aura nagarake bAhara naziyAjImeM Thahara gye| yahA~para saba mandiroMke darzana kiye| mandiroMkI vizAlatAkA varNana karanA buddhi-bAhya hai| yahA~para jaina vidyAlaya hai jisameM mukhya rUpase saMskRtakA pAThana hotA hai| yahA~ zAstra-bhaNDAra bhI vizAla haiN| dharma-sAdhanakI saba suvidhAe~ bhI yahA~para hai| yahA~ tIna dina rahakara AgarA Aye aura yahA~se sIdhe sAgara cale aaye| sAgara kI janatAne bahuta hI ziSTatAkA vyavahAra kiyaa| koI sau nAriyala bheMTa meM aaye| yaha saba hokara bhI cittameM zAnti na aaii| zrI girinAra yAtrA san 1621 kI bAta hai| ahamadAbAdameM kAMgresa thii| paM. munnAlAlajI aura rAjadharalAlajI varayA Adine kahA ki 'kAMgresa dekhaneke liye cliye| maiMne kahA-'maiM kyA karU~gA ?' unhoMne kahA-'bar3e-bar3e netA AveMge, ataH unake darzana sahaja hI ho jaaveNge| dekho, una mahAnubhAvoMkI ora ki jinhoMne dezake hitake liye apane bhautika sukhako tyAga diyA, jo gavarnameNTa dvArA nAnA yAtanAoMko saha rahe haiM, jinhoMne laukika sukhako lAta mAra dI hai aura jo For Personal & Private Use Only

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zrI girinAra yAtrA 233 I nirantara 40 karor3a janatAkA kalyANa cAhate rahate haiM / Aja bhAratavarSakI jo durdazA hai vaha kisIse chipI nahIM hai / jisa dezameM ghI, dUdhakI nadiyA~ bahatI thIM Aja vahA~ karor3oM pazuoMkI hatyA honese rudhirakI nadiyA~ baha rahI haiN| zuddha ghI-dUdhakA abhAva-sA ho gayA hai| jahA~ ArSavAkyoMkI dhvanise pRthivI gU~jatI thI vahA~ para videzI bhASAkA hI daura daurA hai / jahA~ para paNDita loga kisI padArthakI pramANatA siddha karaneke ke liye amuka RSine amuka zAstrameM aisA likhA hai...... ityAdi vyavasthA dete the vahA~ aba sAhaba logoMke vAkya hI pramANa mAne jAte haiM / ataH netA loga nirantara yaha yatna karate rahate haiM ki hamArA deza parAdhInatAke bandhanase mukta ho jAve / kAMgresameM jAnese una mahAnubhAvoMke vyAkhyAna sunane ko mileMge aura sabase bar3A lAbha yaha hogA ki zrIgirinAra siddhakSetrakI vandanA anAyAsa ho jAvegI / maiM zrI girinArajIkI yAtrAke lobhase kAMgresa dekhaneke liye calA gayA aura ahamadAbAdameM zrIchedIlAlajI suparinTenDenTake yahA~ Thahara gayA / yahA~ para zrIbrahmacArI zItalaprasAdajI aura zrIzAntisAgarajI chANIvAle brahmacArI veThAmeM pahalese hI Thahare the| hama tInoMkA nimantraNa eka seThake yahA~ huA / cU~ki mujhe jvara AtA thA, ataH ghara para pathyase bhojana karatA thA / parantu usa dina pUr3I *zAka milii| khIra bhI banI thI jo unhoMne mujhe parosanA cAhI, para maiMne eka bAra manA kara diyaa| parantu jaba dUsarI bAra khIra parosaneke liye Aye taba maiMne lAlaca vaza le lii| phala usakA yaha huA ki vegase jvara A gayA / bahuta hI vedanA huI jisase usa dinakA kAMgresakA adhivezana nahIM dekha skaa| dUsare dina jvara nikala gayA, ataH kAMgresakA adhivezana dekhaneke liye gayA / vahA~kA prabandha sarAhanIya thA kyA hotA thA kucha samajhameM nahIM AyA, kintu vahA~ peparoMmeM saba samAcAra AnupUrvI mila jAte the| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki jinakA deza hai ve to parAdhIna honese bhikSA mAMga rahe haiM aura jinakA koI svatva nahIM ve puruSArtha balase rAjya kara rahe haiN| ThIka hI to kahA hai- 'vIrabhogyA vasundharA' jina logoMkA isa bhAratavarSapara janmasiddha adhikAra hai ve to asaMghaTita honese dAsa bana rahe haiM aura jinakA koI svatva nahIM ve yahA~ke prabhu bana rahe haiN| jaba taka isa dezameM paraspara manomAlinya aura avizvAsa rahegA taba taka isa dezakI dazA sudharanA kaThina hai| yadi isa dezameM Aja paraspara prema ho jAve to binA raktapAtake bhArata svatantra ho sakatA hai, parantu yahI honA asambhava hai / '8 kanavajiyA 6 cUlhe' kI kahAvata yahA~ caritArtha hotI hai / paraspara manomAlinyakA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 234 mUla kAraNa aneka matoMkI sRSTi hai| eka dUsareke zatru bana rahe haiN| jo vAstavika dharma hai vaha to saMsAra bandhanakA ghAtaka hai| usa ora hamArI dRSTi nahIM / dharma to ahiMsAmaya hai / veda bhI yahI bAta kahatA hai-'mA hiMsyAt sarva bhuutaani|' tathA 'ahiMsA paramo dharmaH' yaha bhI anAdi mantra hai| jaina loga ise aba taka mAnate haiN| yadyapi unakI bhAratameM bahuta alpa saMkhyA hai phira bhI use vyavahArameM lAneke lie satata prayatnazIla rahate haiN| zrImahAtmA gA~dhIne bhI use apanAyA hai aura unakA prabhAva bhI janatAmeM vyApta rahA hai.... yaha prasannatAkI bAta hai / astu / hama loga kAMgresa dekhakara zrI girinArajIkI yAtrAke liye ahamadAbAdase prasthAna kara sTezanapara gaye aura jhUnAgar3hakA TikaTa lekara jyoM hI relameM baiThe tyoM hI mujhe jvarane A staayaa| bahuta hI becainI ho gaI / yadyapi sAthameM paM. munnAlAlajI aura rAjadharalAlajI barayA the| parantu maiMne kisIko kucha saMketa nahIM kiyA / cupacApa par3a gyaa| pAsa hI eka vakIla baiThe the, jo rAjakoTake rahanevAle the aura zvetAmbara sampradAyake the / unase rAjadhara barayAkA saMvAda hone lgaa| bahuta kucha bAta huI / antameM rAjaghara barayAne vakIla sAhabase kahA ki maiM to vizeSa bahasa nahIM kara sktaa| yadi Apako vizeSa bahasa karanA hai to yaha varNIjI jo ki bagalameM leTe hue haiM, unheM jagAye detA hU~, Apa unase zaMkA-samAdhAna kriye| varayAne mujhe jagAyA aura kahA ki yaha vakIla sAhaba bahuta hI ziSTa puruSa haiM, Apase mata - sambandhI carcA karanA cAhate haiN| maiM uThakara baiTha gayA aura kucha samaya taka hamArI vakIla sAhabase tattvacarcA hotI rahI / carcAkA viSaya thA - vastrAdi parigraha hai yA nahIM ? unakA kahanA thA ki vastra parigraha nahIM hai / merA kahanA thA ki mohanIya karmake udayase jo pariNAma AtmAkA hotA hai, vAstavika parigraha vahI hai / usake mithyAtva, vedatraya, hAsyAdi nava nokaSAya aura krodha, mAna, mAyA, lobha ye cAra kaSAya isa prakAra caudaha bheda AgamameM batalAye haiM / yahI antaraMgaparigraha hai / ataH vastroMkI carcA chor3o, zarIra bhI parigraha hai / parantu yaha nizcita hai ki vastrAdikA grahaNa binA mUrcchAke nahIM hotA, ataH use bhI bhagavAn ke upacArase parigraha saMjJA dI hai / yadi vastrAdi ke grahaNase mUrcchA na ho to use kauna sa~bhAle ? mailA ho gayA, phaTa gayA ityAdi vikalpa kyoM hoveM ? zrIpravacanasArameM isako upAdhi kahA hai| jahA~ upAdhi hai vahA~ niyamase hiMsA hai, ataH zrI kundakunda mahArAjane kahA hai ki 'jIvake marane 1 For Personal & Private Use Only

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zrI girinAra yAtrA 235 para hiMsA ho aura na bhI ho| parantu upAdhike sadbhAvameM vaha niyamase hotI hai, kyoMki IryApathase sAdhu cala rahA hai, itanemeM koI sUkSma jIva AyA aura usake pagatale dabakara mara gayA to usa samaya jIvake marane para bhI pramattayogakA abhAva honese sAdhu hiMsAkA bhAgI nahIM hotA aura yadi pramattayoga hai to bAhya hiMsA na hone para bhI hiMsA avazyambhAvI hai| parantu vastrAdi upAdhike sadbhAvameM niyamase hiMsA kA sadbhAva hai, kyoMki antaraMgameM mUrchA vidyamAna hai| Apa kahate rahe haiM ki digambara sAdhu bhI to pIchI, kamaNDalu tathA pustaka rakhate haiN| unako bhI parigrahI kahanA cAhie ? maiMne kahA-ApakA kahanA ThIka hai, parantu isa parigraha aura vastra parigrahameM mahAn antara hai| pIchI dayAkA upakaraNa hai, kamaNDalu zaucakA upakaraNa hai aura pustaka jJAnakA upakaraNa hai, para vastra parigraha to kevala zItAdi nivAraNake lie hI rakkhA jAtA hai| sAtha hI isameM eka doSa yaha bhI hai ki vastra rakhanevAlA sAdhu nagna parISaha nahIM sahana kara sktaa| phira bhI pIchI Adi parigraha chaThaveM guNasthAna paryanta hI hai| saptamAdi guNasthAnoMmeM yaha bhI nahIM rahate...ityAdi bahuta dera taka bAtacIta hotI rhii| ApakI prakRti saumya thI, ataH Apane kahA ki 'acchA, isapara vicAra kareMge, abhI maiM isa siddhAntako sarvathA nahIM maantaa| hA~, siddhAnta uttama hai yaha maiM mAnatA huuN| maiMne kahA-'kalyANakA mArga pakSase bahirbhUta hai| Apane kahA-'ThIka hai, parantu jisakI vAsanAmeM jo siddhAnta praveza kara jAtA hai usakA nikalanA sahaja nhiiN| kAla pAkara hI vaha nikalatA hai| saba jAnate haiM ki zarIra pudgaladravyakA piNDa hai| isake bhItara AtmAke aMzakA bhI tadbhAva nahIM hai| yadyapi AtmA aura zarIra ekakSetrAvagAhI haiM phira bhI AtmAkA aMza na pudgalAtmaka zarIrameM hai aura na pudgalAtmaka zarIrakA AtmAmeM hI hai| itanA saba honepara bhI jIvakA isa zarIrake sAtha anAdise aisA moha rahA hai ki vaha aharniza isIkI sevAmeM prayatnazIla rahatA hai| vaha isake lie jo-jo anartha karatA hai vaha kisIse gopya nahIM hai| maiM bolA-'ThIka hai parantu antameM jisakA moha isase chUTa jAtA hai vahI to sumArgakA pAtra hotA hai| paradravyake sambandhase jahA~ taka mUrchA hai vahA~ taka kalyANakA patha nhiiN| hama apanI durbalatAse vastrako na tyAga sakeM yaha dUsarI bAta hai, parantu use rAgabuddhise rakha kara bhI apane Apako aparigrahI mAne, yaha khaTakanekI bAta hai|' antameM Apane kahA-yaha viSaya vicAraNIya hai|' maiM bolA-'ApakI icchaa|' For Personal & Private Use Only

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236 merI jIvanagAthA | isake bAda maiMne kahA ki 'mujhe nidrA AtI hai, ataH kRpA kara Apa apane sthAnapara padhAriye / Apake sadbhAvameM maiM leTa nahIM sktaa| Apa eka vakIla haiM, para kahane meM Apako jarA bhI kaSTa na hogA, jhaTa kaha uThoge ki dekho yaha loga dhArmika kahalAte haiM aura hamAre baiThe hue so gaye, yahI asabhyatA ina logoMmeM hai|' vakIla sAhaba bole- 'Apa so jAiye, maiM kisa prakRtikA manuSya hU~, Apako thor3I dera meM patA laga jAyegA / sabhyatA - asabhyatA vidyAse nahIM jAnI jAtI / merA to yaha siddhAnta va anubhava hai ki cAhe saMskRtakA vidvAn ho, cAhe bhASAkA ho aura cAhe aMgrejIkA DAkTara ho, jo sadAcArI hai vaha sabhya hai aura jo asadAcArI hai vaha asabhya hai / anya kathA jAne dIjiye, jo apar3ha hokara bhI sadAcArI haiM ve sabhyagaNanAmeM ginaneke yogya haiM aura jo sarva vidyAoMke pAragAmI hokara sadAcArase rikta haiM ve asabhya haiN|' vakIla sAhabakI vivekapUrNa bAta sunakara maiM bahuta prasanna huA aura mere manameM vicAra AyA ki AtmAkI ananta zakti hai / na jAne kisa AtmAmeM usake guNoM kA vikAsa ho jaave| yaha koI niyama nahIM ki amuka jAtimeM hI sadAcArI hoM, amukameM nhiiN| maiMne kahA - 'mahAzaya ! maiM Apake isa sundara vicArase sahamata huuN| aba maiM leTatA huuN| aparAdhako kSamA karanA... itanA kaha kara maiM leTa gyaa| cU~ki jvara thA hI, ataH pairoMmeM tIvra vedanA thI / manameM aisI kalpanA hotI thI ki yadi nAI milatA to abhI mAlisa karavA letaa| eka kalpanA yaha bhI hotI thI ki varayAjIse kahU~ ki mere pairoMmeM bar3I vedanA hai, jarA dAba do| parantu saMkocavaza kisIse kucha kahA nhiiN| maiM isa prakAra vicAroMmeM hI nimagna thA ki vakIla sAhaba paira anAyAsa dabAne lge| maiMne kahA- 'vakIla sAhaba Apa kyA kara rahe haiM ?' unhoMne kahA - 'koI hAnikI bAta nahIM / manuSya- manuSya hI ke kAma AtA hai| Apa nizcintatAse so jaao|' maiM antaraMgase khuza huA, kyoMki yahI to cAhatA thA / karmane vaha suyoga svayaM milA diyA / ' likhanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki udaya balavAn ho to jahA~ jisa vastukI sambhAvanA na ho vahA~ bhI vaha vastu mila jAtI hai aura udaya nirbala ho to hAthameM AI huI vastu bhI palAyamAna ho jAtI hai| isa prakAra dasa bajese lekara tIna baje taka vakIla sAhaba merI vaiyAvRtya karate rhe| jaba prAtaHkAlake tIna baje taba vakIla sAhabane kahA ki 'aba girinArajIke lie ApakI gAr3I badalegI, jaga jAiye / ' For Personal & Private Use Only

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zrI girinAra yAtrA 237 hama jaga gaye aura vakIla sAhabako dhanyavAda dene lge| unhoMne kahA ki isameM dhanyavAdakI AvazyakatA nhiiN| yaha to hamArA kartavya hI thaa| yadi Aja hamArA bhAratavarSa apane kartavyakA pAlana karane laga jAve to isakI duravasthA anAyAsa hI dUra ho jAve, parantu yahI honA kaThina hai| antameM vakIla sAhaba cale gaye aura hama loga prAtaHkAla jhUnAgar3ha pahu~ca gye| sTezanase dharmazAlAmeM gye| prAtaHkAlakI sAmAyikAdise nizcinta hokara mandira gaye aura zrIneminAtha svAmI ke darzana kara tRpta ho gye| prabhukA jIvanacaritra smaraNa kara hRdayameM ekadama sphUrti A gaI aura manameM AyA ki he prabho ! aisA dina kaba AvegA jaba hama loga Apake pathakA anukaraNa kara skegeN| Apako dhanya hai| Apane apane hRdayameM sAMsArika viSayasukhakI AkAMkSAke lie sthAna nahIM diyaa| pratyuta anityAdi bhAvanAoMkA cintavana kiyaa| usI samaya laukAntika devIne apanA niyoga sAdhana kara ApakI stutikI aura Apane daigambarI dIkSA dhAraNa kara ananta prANiyoMkA upakAra kiyA .....ityAdi cintavana karate hue hama logoMne do ghaNTA mandirameM bitaaye| anantara dharmazAlAmeM Akara bhojanAdise nivRtta hue| phira madhyAhna kI sAmAyika kara girinAra parvatakI talahaTImeM cale gye| prAtaHkAla tIna bajese vandanAke lie cale aura cha: bajate-bajate parvata para pahu~ca gye| vahA~ para zrInemiprabhuke mandirameM sAmAyikAdi kara pUjana-vidhAna kiyaa| mUrti bahuta hI subhaga tathA cittAkarSaka hai| __girinAra parvata samadharAtalase bahuta U~cA hai| bar3I-bar3I caTTAnoM ke bIca sIr3hiyA~ lagAkara mArga sugama banAyA gayA hai| kitanI hI coTiyA~ to itanI U~cI haiM ki unase meghamaNDala nIce raha jAtA hai aura Uparase nIcekI ora dekhanepara aisA lagatA hai mAno megha nahIM samudra bharA hai| kabhI-kabhI vAyu AghAta pAkara kAle-kAle meghoMkI Tukar3iyA~ pAsase hI nikala jAtI haiM, jisase aisA mAlUma detA hai mAno bhaktajanoMke pApapuJja hI bhagavAdbhaktirUpI chenIse chinna-bhinna hokara idhara-udhara ur3a rahe hoN| Upara ananta AkAza aura cAroM ora kSitija paryanta phailI huI vRkSoMkI harItimA dekhakara mana mohita ho jAtA hai| yaha vahI girinAra hai, jisakI uttuMga coTiyoMse koTi-koTi muniyoMne nirvANadhAma prApta kiyA hai| yaha vahI girinAra hai jisakI kandarAoMmeM rAjula jaisI satI AryAoMne ghanaghora tapazcaraNa kiyA hai| yaha vahI girinAra hai jahA~ kRSNa aura For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 238 balabhadra jaise yadupuMgava bhagavAn neminAthakI samavasaraNasabhAmeM bar3I namratAke sAtha unake pavitra upadeza zravaNa karate the| yaha vahI girinagara hai jisakI guhAmeM AsIna hokara zrI dharasena AcAryane puSpadanta aura bhUtabali AcAryake lie SaTkhaNDAgamakA pArAyaNa karAyA thaa| __ mandirase nikalakara zvetAmbara mandirameM jAnekA vicAra kiyaa| yadyapi rAjadhara varayAne kahA ki paJcama ToMkapara calo, jahA~ ki zrI neminAthakA nirvANa huA hai, to bhI dekhanekI utkaTa abhilASAse hama aura paNDita munnAlAlajI zvetAmbara mandirameM cale gye| mandira bahuta vizAla hai| eka dharmazAlA bhI vahIM hai, jinameM ki saba prakAra kI suvidhAe~ hai| khAne-pInekA bhI pUrNa prabandha hai| yahA~para yadi koI sAdharmI bhAI dharma sAdhanake lie rahanA cAhe to vyagratA nahIM ho sktii| suvidhAkI dRSTise yaha saba ThIka hai, parantu yaha paJcama kAla hai| tapobhUmi bhogabhUmi banA dI gaI hai| mandira gaye aura zrInemiprabhukI mUrti dekhii| aisA pratyaya huA jaise koI rAjA baiThe hoN| hAthoMmeM suvarNake jar3AU kaTaka, mastakameM kImatI mukuTa, aMgameM bahumUlya aMgI, kaNThameM puSpAdise susajjita bahumUlya hAra tathA itroMse sucarcita kitanA zRMgAra thA, hama varNana nahIM kara skte| manameM AyA ki dekho itanA saba vibhava hokara bhI bhagavAn saMsArase virakta ho gye| yadi usa mUrtike sAtha daigambarI dIkSAkI mUrti bhI hotI to saMsArakI asAratAkA parijJAna karanevAloMko bahuta zIghra parijJAna ho jAtA / parantu yahA~ to pakSapAtakA itanA prabhAva hai ki digambara mudrAko dekha bhI nahIM sakate / saMsArameM yadi yaha haTha na hotI to itane matoMkI sRSTi na hotii| vahA~ se calakara paJcama ToMkapara phuNce| vahA~ jo pUjAkA sthAna hai use vaiSNava loga dattAtreya kahakara pUjate haiM, kitane hI Adama bAbA kahakara arcA karate haiM aura digambara sampradAyavAle zrI neminAtha svAmIkI nirvANabhUmi mAnakara pUjate haiN| sthAna atyanta pavitra aura vairAgyakA kAraNa hai| parantu yahA~ to kevala sthAnakI pUjA aura nemiprabhukA kucha guNagAna kara lauTanekI cintA ho jAtI hai| vahA~se calakara bIcameM eka vaiSNava mandira milatA hai, jisameM sAdhu loga rahate haiN| pacAsoM gAya AdikA parigraha unake pAsa hai| zrIrAmake upAsaka haiN| vahA~se calakara sahasrAmravanameM Aye, jo pahAr3Ise nIce talameM hai| jahA~ sahasroM Amake vRkSa haiN| bahuta hI ramya aura ekAnta sthAna hai| AdhA ghaNTA rahakara For Personal & Private Use Only

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bhikSA se zikSA 239 bhUkhakI vedanA hone lagI, ataH sthAnase jo lAbha lenA cAhiye vaha na le sake aura eka ghaNTA calakara talahaTIkI dharmazAlAmeM A gye| vahA~ bhojanAdise nivRtta hokara leTa gye| yahA~se calakara pazcAt relameM savAra hokara ahamadAbAda hote hue bar3audA aaye| yahA~para bahutase sthAna dekhane yogya haiM, parantu zarIrameM svAsthyake na rahanese dAhoda cale aaye| yahA~ eka pAThazAlA hai, jisameM paM. phUlacandrajI par3hAte haiN| yaha vidvAn haiM aura santoSI bhii| unake Agrahase ATha dina yahA~ Thahara gye| yahA~ santoSacandrajI adhyAtmazAstrake acche vidvAn haiN| ApakI strIkA bhI adhyAtmazAstrameM acchA praveza hai| inake sivAya aura bhI bahuta bhAI adhyAtmake premI hI nahIM, parIkSaka bhI haiN| eka dina maiM sAyaMkAla sAmAyika karake Tahala rahA thA, itanemeM eka bAIjI kahatI haiM 'yadi pyAsa lagI hai to pAnI pI liijiye| abhI to rAtri nahIM huii| maiMne kahA-'yaha kyoM ? kyA merI parIkSA karanA cAhatI ho ? usane kahA-'abhiprAya to yahI thA, para Apa to parIkSAmeM phela nahIM hue| bahutase phela ho jAte haiN|' yahA~ jitane dina rahA tattvacarcAmeM kAla gyaa| pazcAt yahA~se calakara ujjaina AyA aura vahA~se bhopAla hotA huA sAgara A gyaa| bhikSA se zikSA pahalekI eka bAta likhanI raha gaI hai| jaba maiM kaTarAkI dharmazAlAmeM nahIM AyA thA, bar3A bAjArameM zrI siM.bAlacandrajIke hI makAnameM rahatA thA, tabakI bAta hai| mere makAnake pAsa hI eka lampUlAla rahate the, jo golApUrva vaMzaja the| bahuta hI buddhimAn aura vivekI jIva the| hamezA zrI siM. bAlacandrajIke zAstrapravacanameM Ate the| pA~ca sau rupayAse hI Apa vyApAra karate the| ApakI strI bhI dharmAtmA thii| unakA hamase bar3A prema thaa| jaba lampUlAlajI bImAra par3e taba samAdhimaraNase dehakA tyAga kiyA aura unake pAsa jo dravya thA usakA yathAyogya vibhAga kara 75) hamAre phala khAneke liye de gye| ve bAIjIse kahA karate the ki varNIjI Apase adhika kharca karate haiN| na jAne Apa inakA nirvAha kaise karatI haiN| ye prakRtike bar3e udAra haiN| bAIjI ha~sakara kaha detI thIM ki jaba sampatti samApta ho jAvegI taba dekhA jAyegA, abhIse cintA kyoM kruuN| ve vyavahArake bhI bar3e pakke the| eka dina bAIjIke pAsa Akara bole-'bAIjI ! For Personal & Private Use Only

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240 merI jIvanagAthA 1 Aja dahI khAnekI icchA hai|' bAIjIne eka kaTorAmeM dahI de diyaa| ve ghara le gaye, zAmako kaTorA aura do AnA paise de gaye / bAIjIne kahA- 'bhaiyA ! do Ane paise kisaliye rakkhe haiM ?' unhoMne kahA- 'yaha dahIkI kImata hai / ' bAIjIne kahA- 'kyA maiMne paiseke liye dahI diyA thA ?' unhoMne kahA - 'to kyA muphta meM mA~gane AyA thA ? muphtakI cIja hamezA to nahIM miltii|' bAIjI cupa ho rahIM / maiM unake isa spaSTa vyavahArase bahuta vismita huA, astu / yaha dUsarI bAta hai - eka dina maiM bhojana kara rahA thaa| itanemeM eka bhikhamaMgA AyA aura gir3agir3A kara mA~gane lgaa| mujhase bhojana nahIM kiyA gyaa| maiMne do roTI aura kar3hI lekara use dI tathA pAnI pilAyA / pAnI pIte samaya usakA kapar3A udhar3a gayA, jisase usakA peTa bharA huA dikhAI diyaa| maiMne kahA- 'itane karuNa svarameM kyoM mA~gate ho ? tumhAre peTake dekhanese to mAlUma hotA hai ki tuma bhUkhe nahIM ho / zabdoMse avazya aisA lagatA hai ki tuma ATha dinake bubhukSita ho / ' vaha bolA- 'yadi isa taraha na mA~gA jAve to kauna sAlA deve ?' maiM usake zabda sunakara ekadama kupita ho gayA, parantu yaha socakara zAnta raha gayA ki bhikhamaMgA hai| yadi ise DAMTatA hU~ to pacAsa gAliyA~ sunAvegA / nIcake mu~ha laganA acchA nahIM / maiMne namra zabdoMmeM usase kahA- 'bhAI ! kSamA karo, hama bhUla gaye / parantu yaha to batAo ki Apake pAsa kitanA rupayA hai ?' vaha bolA- 'varNIjI ! Apa bar3e bholebhAle ho / are hama to bhikSuka haiM, Tukar3A mA~gakara udara poSaNa karate haiM, hamAre pAsa kyA vyApAra hai, jisase rupayA Ave / ' maiMne kahA- 'Apa ThIka kahate haiM, parantu hama aisA sunate haiM ki bhikhamaMgoM ke pAsa gudar3iyoMmeM hajAroM rupaye rahate haiN|' vaha bolA- 'yaha to sarAsara sapheda jhUTha hai| saikar3oM raha sakate haiM, parantu isa carcAmeM kyA hai ? athavA Apa pUchanA hI cAhate haiM to suno- 'mere pAsa 100) nakada, eka jor3I cUr3A aura 10 sera gehU~ cAvala AdikA saMgraha hai / isake atirikta eka strI bhI hai, jisakI umara 40 varSakI hai|' maiMne kahA - 'strI kahA~se AI ?' vaha bolA- Apa bar3e bhole ho / jaise bhikhamaMge haiM vaise vaha bhikhamaMgI hai| Apa kucha nahIM smjhte| saMsArameM bar3I durghaTanAe~ hotI haiN|' maiMne kahA- 'jaba ki tumhAre pAsa itanI sAmagrI hai taba isa prakAra bhIkha kyoM mA~gate ho ?' vaha bolA- 'dekho, phira vahI bAta ? yadi isa tarahase na mA~ge to kauna sAlA deve ?' maiMne kahA- 'jaaiye|' vaha bolA- 'jAte haiN|' kevala tumhArA hI ghara hai kyA ? For Personal & Private Use Only

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bhikSA se zikSA 241 tumhArese bIsoM ullU hamako denevAle haiN| hamameM mA~ganekA vaha puruSArtha hai ki mA~gakara dasa AdamiyoMko khilA sakate haiN| aba Apa eka zikSA hamArI maannaa| vaha yaha ki kevala UparI veSa dekhakara ThagA na jaanaa| 'dayA karanA dharma hai' yaha ThIka hai, kyoMki sarvamatavAle ise apane-apane zAstroMmeM pAte haiN| parantu yaha samajhanA kaThina hai ki yaha dayA kA pAtra hai| tuma loga zAstra mAtra par3ha lete ho, parantu zAstra-pratipAdya viSayameM nipuNa nahIM hote| jaise maiMne Apako Thaga liyaa| athavA maiM to upalakSaNa hU~| abhI do ghaNTA bAda eka lUlA yahA~se niklegaa| maiM dekhatA hU~ ki ApakI mAtAjI use pratidina eka roTI detI haiM, parantu Apako nahIM mAlUma, usake pAsa kyA hai ? usake pAsa 2000) kI nakadI hai aura itane para bhI vaha mA~gatA hai| yaha bhAratadeza hai| isameM dharmake nAmapara manuSyoMne prANataka nyauchAvara kara diye, parantu aba yahA~ke manuSyoMmeM vivekakI mAtrA ghaTatI jAtI hai| pAtra-apAtra kA vicAra uThatA jAtA hai| saikar3oM aise parivAra haiM ki jinakI rakSA karanI cAhie para unakI ora dAna denevAloMkI dRSTi nhiiN| andhe-lUloMko dekhakara Apa logoMkA dayAkA srota umar3a par3atA hai, itanA viveka nahIM rahatA ki inake rahaneke sthAna bhI dekheN| vahA~ ye kyA-kyA bAteM karate haiM, yaha Apa loga nahIM jaante| maiM jahA~ rahatA hU~ vahA~ para bahutase daridra bhikhamaMgoMkA nivAsa hai| unameM koI bhI aisA abhAgA ma~gatA hogA, jisake ki pAsa dravya na ho| pratyekake pAsa kucha na kucha rupayA hogaa| khAnekI sAmagrI to eka mAsa takakI hogii| Apa loga hamArI dazA dekhakara vastrAdi dete haiM para jo navIna vastra milatA haiM use hama beca dete haiM, cAhe eka rupayoMke sthAnameM cAra AnA hI kyoM na mile? hamArA kyA gayA, jo milA so hI bhlaa| yahI kAraNa hai ki bhAratameM bhikhamaMge bar3hate jAte haiN| Apa loga yadi vivekase kAma lete to jo parivAra vAstavameM daridra haiM, jinake bAlaka mAre-mAre phirate haiM unakA poSaNa karate, unheM zikSita banAte, vyApAra-naukarIse lagAte, parantu vaha to dUra rahA, Apa ayogya AdamiyoMko dAna dekara bhikhamaMgoMkI saMkhyA bar3hA rahe haiN| jaba binA kucha kiye hI hama logoMko ApakI udAratAse bahuta kucha mila jAtA hai taba hameM kAma karanekI kyA AvazyakatA hai| bhAratavarSameM akarmaNyatA inhIM avivekI dAnavIroMkI badaulata hI to apanA sthAna banAye hue hai| Apa logoMke pAsa jo dravya hai usakA upayoga yA to Apa hamAre lie dAna dekara karate haiM yA adhika bhAva hue to mandira banavA diyA yA saMgha nikAla diyA yA anya kucha For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 242 kara diyaa| yadi vaiSNava sampradAyameM dhana huA to zivAlaya banavA diyA, rAma-mandira banavA diyA yA sAdhumaNDalIko bhoja de diyaa| Apa logoMne yaha kabhI vicAra nahIM kiyA ki jAtimeM kitane parivAra AjIvikA-vihIna haiM, kitane bAlaka AjIvikAke binA yahA~-vahA~ ghUma rahe haiM aura kitanI vidhavAe~ AjIvikAke binA Aha-Aha karake Ayu pUrNa kara rahI haiN| asalameM bAta yaha hai ki Apa loga nyAyase dravya upArjana nahIM karate, anyathA Apake dhanakA itanA durupayoga na hotaa| kisI kavine ThIka kahA hai 'gaMgAjIke ghATa para khAI khIra aru khaaNdd| yoMkA dhana yoM hI gayA tuma vezyA hama bhaaNdd||' zAyada isakA tAtparya Apa na samajhe hoNge| tAtparya yaha hai ki eka vezyAne Ajanma vyabhicArase paisA upArjana kiyaa| antameM use dAnakI suujhii| usane vicArA ki maiMne janma bhara bahuta pApa kiyA aba antameM kucha dAna-puNya avazya karanA caahiye| aisA vicAra kara usane prayAgake liye prayANa kiyaa| kumbhakA melA thaa| lAkhoM yAtrIgaNa snAnake liye jA rahe the| usa vezyAko dekhakara eka bhA~Dane vicAra kiyA ki 'dekho hajAroM cUhe khAkara billI hajjako jA rahI hai|' maiM to Aja ise apanA prabhAva dikhA kara mohita karU~gA? aisA vicAra kara vaha bhA~Da sAdhukA veSa banA kara ghATa para nizcala Asanase A~kha mUMdakara IzvarakA bhajana karane lgaa| usane aisI mudrA dhAraNa kI ki dekhanevAle binA namaskAra kiye nahIM jAte the| koI-koI to bIsa-bIsa minaTa taka sAdhu mahArAjakI stutikara apane Apako kRtakRtya samajhate the aura jaba vahA~se jAte the taba sAdhu mahArAjakI prazaMsA karate hue apaneko dhanya samajhate the| mahArAjake sAmane puSpoMkA Dhera laga gyaa| seroM miThAIke done car3ha gye| itanemeM vaha vezyA vahA~ pahu~cI aura mahArAjakI mudrA dekhakara mohita ho gii| dhanya mere bhAgya ki isa kAlameM bhI aise mahAtmAke darzana mila gye| kaisI sundara mudrA hai ? mAnoM zAntike avatAra hI haiN| mahArAja.......ityAdi zabdoM dvArA mahArAjakI prazaMsA karane lgii| mahArAjane vezyAko dekhakara ekadama sA~sa roka lI aura pattharakI mUrtikI taraha nizcala ho gye| vezyA ghUmaghAma kara phira AI aura mahArAjako nizcala dekhakara dasa minaTa khar3I rhii| anantara mana-hI-mana vicArane lagI ki yadi mahArAja mere yahA~ bhojana kara leM to maiM janma bharake pApase mukta ho jAU~gI, parantu koI paTarI nahIM baitthii| tarka-vitarka karatI huI sAmane khar3I rahI aura mahArAja usI prakAra For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #268
bhikSA se zikSA 243 nizcala bane rhe| antameM vezyAne kahA-'mahArAja ! dhanya hai ApakI tapasyAko aura dhanya hai ApakI iishvrbhktiko| aba bhI isa kalikAlameM Apa jaise nararatnoMse isa vasundharAkI mahimA hai| maiM bArambAra Apako namaskAra karatI huuN| maiM vaha hU~ jisane saiMkar3oM gharoMke lar3akoMko kumArgameM lagA diyA aura saiMkar3oMko daridra banA diyaa| aba Apake sAmane una pApoMkI nindA karatI huuN| yadi ApakI samAdhi khulatI aura Apa merA nimantraNa aMgIkAra karate to merA bhI kalyANa ho jaataa|' itanA kahakara vezyA calI gii| mahArAjake manameM pAnI A gyaa| unhoMne mana-hI-mana kahA-'acchA banAva bnaa| AdhA ghaNTA bAda vezyA phira A gaI aura pahale hI ke samAna namaskArAdi karane lgii| usakI bhakti dekhakara mahArAja apanI samAdhi aba adhika dera taka kAyama na rakha ske| samAdhi tor3akara AzIrvAda dete haiM-'tumhArA kalyANa ho| sAtha hI hAtha Upara uThAkara kahane lage ki 'hama apane divya jJAnase tumhAre hRdayakI bAta jAna gye| tU amuka gA~vakI rahanevAlI vezyA hai| tUne yuvAvasthAmeM bahuta pApa kiye, para aba vRddhAvasthAmeM dharmake vicAra ho gaye haiN| tU yahA~ kisI sAdhuko khIra khaoNDakA bhojana karAne AI hai| terA vizvAsa hai ki sAdhuko bhojana denese mere pApa chUTa jAveMge aura merI paralokameM sadgati hogii| yahA~ para kumbhakA melA hai| hajAroM sAdhu-brAhmaNa Aye haiN| tU yadyapi unheM dAna de sakatI hai para terI yaha dRSTi ho gaI hai ki merA-sA sAdhu yahA~ nahIM hai| so ThIka hai, parantu maiM to koI sAdhu nahIM, kevala isa vezameM baiThA hU~ jisase tujhe sAdhu-sA mAlUma hotA huuN| dekha, sAmane saikar3oM donA miThAI aura saikar3oM phUloM kI mAlAe~ par3I huI haiM, para maiM kitanA khA sakatA hU~ ? loka avivekI haiM, binA vicAre hI yaha miThAI car3hA gye| yadi viveka hotA to kisI garIba ko dete| ina logoMne yaha bhI vicAra nahIM kiyA ki yaha sAdhu ina saikar3oM phUloMkI mAlAoMkA kyA karegA ? parantu loga to bher3iyAdhasAnakA anukaraNa karate haiN| vyAsajIne ThIka hI kahA hai 'gatAnugatiko loko na lokaH pAramArthikaH / bAlukApuJjamAtreNa gataM me taamrbhaajnm||' isakA yaha tAtparya hai ki eka bAra eka RSi gaMgA snAna karane ke lie gyaa| cUMki bhIr3a bahuta thI, ataH vicAra kiyA ki yadi taTapara kamaNDalu rakhakara gotA lagAtA rahatA hU~ aura taba taka koI kamaNDalu le jAya to kyA karU~gA ? RSiko tatkAla eka upAya sUjhA aura usake phalasvarUpa apanA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 244 kamaNDalu bAlukA-puJjase Dhakakara gotA lagAneke liye cale gye| dUsare logoMne dekhAki mahArAja bAlUkA Dhera lagAkara gaMgAsnAnake lie gaye haiM, ataH hamako yahI karanA caahiye| phira kyA thA ? hajAroM AdamiyoMne bAlUke Dhera lagAkara gaMgA-snAna kiye| jaba sAdhu mahArAja gaMgAjIse nikale to kyA dekhate haiM ki hajAroM bAlUke Dhera lage hue haiM, kahA~ kamaNDalu khojeM ? usa samaya vaha bar3e nirvedase bole ki 'gatAnugatiko lokaH'-ataH tU haTha chor3a de ki yahA~ yahI eka uttama sAdhu hai| saikar3oM eka-se-eka bar3hakara sAdhu Aye hue haiN| tU unheM dAna dekara apanI icchA pUrNa kara aura pApase mukta ho| hamArA AzIrvAda hI bahuta hai| maiM to terA bhojana nahIM kara sakatA huuN|' sAdhu mahArAjakI upekSApUrNa bAta sunakara vezyAkI aura bhI adhika bhakti ho gii| vaha bolI-'mahArAja ! maiM to Apako hI mahAtmA samajhatI huuN| AzA hai, merI kAmanA viphala na hogii| jaba jaisAko taisA milatA hai tabhI kAma banatA hai| kisI kavi ne ThIka hI kahA hai 'uttamase uttama mile mile nIca se niic| pAnIse pAnI mile mile kIcase kiic||' sAdhune kahA-'ThIka, parantu tere bhojanase merI tapasyA bhaMga ho jAvegI aura maiM vezyAkA anna khAnese phira tapasyA karanekA pAtra bhI na rhuuNgaa| zuddha honeke lie mujhe svayaM eka brAhmaNa sAdhuko bhojana karAnA par3egA, jisameM eka lAkha rupayekI AvazyakatA pdd'egii| maiM kisIse yAcanA to karatA nhiiN| yadi terA sAvakAza ho to jo terI icchA ho so kr| merI icchA nahIM ki tujhe itanA vyaya kara zuddha honA pdd'e| usane kahA-'mahArAja ! rupayoM kI koI cintA nhiiN| pApakA paisA hai, yadi sukRtameM laga jAve to acchA hai|' acchA to saMkalpa paDhU~ ?' mahArAjane dabI jabAnase kahA aura usane usI samaya eka lAkha noTa unake sAmane rakha diye| mahArAjane mana hI mana saMkalpa par3hA aura kahA-'lA khIra aura khA~r3a bhojana kara luuN|' vezyA ne bar3I prasannatAke sAtha khIra aura khA~r3a samarpita kara dii| sAdhu mahArAjane Anandase bhojana kiyA aura kucha prasAda use bhI de diyaa| vezyA mana hI mana bahuta prasanna huI aura kahane lagI ki rupayA to hAthakA maila hai, phira ho jAyagA para pApase zuddha to huii| antameM mahArAjako dhanyavAda dekara jaba vaha jAne lagI taba mahArAjane apane asalI bhA~DakA rUpa dhAraNakara yaha dohA par3hA- gaMgAjIke ghATa para ....... smjhe| usa bhikhamaMgene kahA ki 'yahI hAla Apa logoMke dhana upArjana kA hai| For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #270
prabhAvanA 245 prathama to ApakI AyakA bahuta-sA aMza inakama Taiksake rUpameM gavarnamenTa le jAtI hai, bahuta-sA vivAha AdimeM calA jAtA hai aura kucha aMza hama jaise kaMgAla bhAI phakkar3abAjIse mAMga le jAte haiN| hama to mUrkha haiM yadi koI vidvAn ho to isakI mImAMsAmeM eka purANa banA sakatA hai| maiM janmase bhikhamaMgA na thA, eka dhanADhya kulameM utpanna huA thA, jAtikA dvija varNa hU~, mere jamIMdArI hotI thI aura lena-dena bhI thaa| mere durbhAgyase merA bApa mara gyaa| merA dhana mere cAcA Adine har3apa liyaa| merI strI zokameM mara gii| maiM duHkhI ho gyaa| khAneko itanA taMga huA ki kabhI-kabhI zAma taka bhojana milanA bhI kaThina ho gyaa| antameM yaha vicAra kiyA ki IsAI yA musalamAna ho jAU~, parantu dharmaparivartanakI apekSA bhIkha mA~ganA hI ucita smjhaa| maiM sAta klAsa hindI par3hA hU~, isase mA~ganekA DhaMga acchA hai| jabase bhikSA mA~gane lagA hU~, sukhase huuN| viSayakI lipsAse eka bhikhamaMgIko strI aura ekako dAsI banA liyA hai| yadyapi mujhe isa bAtakA pazcAttApa hai ki maiMne anyAya kiyA aura dharmazAstrake viruddha merA AcaraNa huaa| parantu karatA kyA ? 'ApatkAle maryAdA nAsti' | yaha hamArI rAmakahAnI hai| aba Apa vivekase bhikSA denA, anyathA paisA bhI khooge aura gAlI bhI khaaoge| puNyakA leza bhI pAnA to dUra rahA, avivekase dAna denA mUrkhatA hai| acchA aba maiM jAtA hU~.... ....itanA kahakara vaha Age calA gayA aura hama samIpa hI ikaTThe hue logoMke sAtha ina bhikhamaMgoMkI cAlAkIpara acambhA karane lge| prabhAvanA vyavahAradharma kI pravRtti deza-kAlake anusAra hotI hai| abhI Apa mAravAr3ameM jAiye, vahA~ Apako gehU~ Adi anAja dhokara khAnekA rivAja nahIM milegaa| parantu cuganekI paddhati bahuta hI uttama milegii| bhojana karaneke samaya vahA~ke loga pairoMke dhonemeM seroM pAnI nahIM DholeMge aura snAna alpa jalameM kreNge| isakA kAraNa yaha hai ki vahA~ pAnIkI bahulatA nhiiN| parantu hamAre prAntameM binA dhoyA anAja nahIM khAveMge, bhojanake samaya loTA bhara pAnI Dhola deveMge aura snAna bhI adhika jalase kreNge| isakA mUla kAraNa pAnIkI puSkalatA hai| ina kriyAoMse na to mAravAr3akI paddhati acchI hai aura na hamArI burI hai| trasahiMsA vahA~ bhI TAlate haiM aura yahA~ bhI TAlate haiN| yaha to bAhRA kriyAoMkI bAta rhii| aba kucha dhArmika bAtoM para bhI vicAra kIjie-jisa For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #271
246 merI jIvanagAthA grAmameM mandira aura mUrtiyoMkI pracuratA hai, yadi vahA~ para mandira na banavAyA jAya tathA gajaratha na calAyA jAve to koI hAni nhiiN| vahI dravya daridra logoMke sthitIkaraNameM lagAyA jAve, bAlakoMko zikSita banAyA jAve, dharmakA yathArtha svarUpa samajhAkara logoMkI dharmameM yathArtha pravRtti karAyI jAve, pracIna zAstroMkI rakSA kI jAve, prAcIna mandiroMkA jIrNoddhAra karAyA jAve yA saba vikalpa chor3a yathAyogya vibhAgake dvArA sAdharmI bhAiyoMko dharmasAdhanameM lagAyA jAve to kyA dharma nahIM ho sakatA ? 1 prabhAvanA do tarahase hotI hai - eka to puSkala dravyako vyayakara gajaratha calAnA, pacAsoM hajAra manuSyoMko bhojana denA, saMgIta maMDalIke dvArA gAna karAnA aura usake dvArA sahasroM nara-nAriyoMke manameM jainadharmakI prAcInatAke sAtha-sAtha vAstavika kalyANakA mArga prakaTa kara denA..... yaha prabhAvanA hai / prAcIna samayameM loga isI prakArakI prabhAvanA karate the / parantu isa samaya isa tarahakI prabhAvanAkI AvazyakatA nahIM hai / aura dUsarI prabhAvanA yaha hai ki jisakI loga Aja atyanta AvazyakatA batalAte haiM / vaha yaha ki hajAroM daridroMko bhojana denA, anAthoMko vastra denA, pratyeka Rtuke anukUla vyavasthA karanA, annakSetra khulavAnA, garmI ke dinoM meM pAnI pInekA prabandha karanA, AjIvikA-vihIna manuSyoMko AjIvikAse lagAnA, zuddha auSadhiyoMkI vyavasthA karanA, sthAna-sthAnapara RtuoMke anukUla dharmazAlAe~ banavAnA aura logoMkA ajJAna dUrakara unake samyagjJAnakA pracAra karanA / zrIsamantabhadra svAmIne prabhAvanAkA yaha lakSaNa batalAyA hai 'ajJAnatimirayAptimapAkRtya yathAyatham / jinazAsanamAhAtmyaprakAzaH syAtprabhAvanA / / ' arthAt ajJAnAndhakArase jagat Acchanna hai| use jaise bane vaise dUrakara jina zAsanakA mAhAtmya phailAnA so prabhAvanA hai| Aja mohAndhakArase jagat vyApta hai / use yaha patA nahIM ki hama kauna haiM ? hamArA karttavya kyA hai ? prathama to jagatke prANI svayaM ajJAnI hai| dUsare mithyA upadezoMke dvArA AtmajJAnase vaMcita karAye jAte haiM / bhAratavarSameM karor3oM AdamI devIko balidAna kara dharma maante| jahA~ devIkI mUrti hotI hai vahA~ dazaharA ke dina sahasroM bakaroMkI bali ho jAtI hai / rudhirake panAre bahane lagate haiN| hajAroM mahiSoMkA prANaghAta ho jAtA hai| yaha prathA nepAlameM hai / kalakattAmeM bhI kAlIjIke sammukha bar3e-bar3e vidvAn loga isa kRtyake karanemeM dharma samajhate haiN| unheM jahA~ taka bane sanmArgakA 1 For Personal & Private Use Only

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prabhAvanA 247 upadeza dekara sanmArgakI prabhAvanA karanA mahAna dharma hai| parantu hamArI dRSTi usa ora nahIM jaatii| dharmakA svarUpa to dayA hai| ve bhI to hamAre bhAI haiM jo ki upadezake abhAvameM kumArgagAmI ho gaye haiN| yadi hamArA lakSya hotA to unakA kumArgase sumArgapara AnA kyA durlabha thaa| ve saMjJI haiM, manuSya haiM, sAkSara haiM, buddhimAna haiM phira bhI sadupadezake abhAvameM Aja unakI yaha durdazA ho rahI hai| yadi unheM sadupadezakA lAbha ho to unakA sudharanA kaThina bAta nhiiN| parantu usa ora hamArI dRSTi jAtI hI nhiiN| anyakI kathA chodd'iye| dehAtameM jina jaina logoMkA nivAsa hai unheM jainadharmake paricaya karAnekA koI sAdhana nahIM hai| jo upadezaka haiM ve unhIM bar3e-bar3e zaharoMmeM jAte haiM jahA~ ki savArI Adike puSkala subhIte hote haiM / athavA dehAtakI bAta jAne dIjiye, tIrthasthAnoM para bhI zAstrapravacanakA koI yogya prabandha nhiiN| kevala pUjana-pAThase hI manuSya santoSa kara lete haiN| sabase mahAn tIrtha girirAja sammedAcala hai jahA~se anantAnanta prANI mokSalAbha kara cuke| parantu vahA~ para bhI koI aisA vidvAn nahIM jo janatAko mArmika zabdoMmeM kSetrakA mAhAtmya samajhA sake / jahA~ para hajAroM rupaye mAsikakA vyaya hai vahA~ para jJAnadAnakA koI sAdhana nhiiN| jisa samaya zrIzAntisAgara mahArAjakA vahA~ zubhAgamana huA thA usa samaya vahA~ eka lAkhase bhI adhika janatAkA jamAva huA thaa| bhAratavarSa bharake dhanADhya, vidvAn tathA sAdhAraNa manuSya usa samArohameM the| paNDitoMke mArmika tattvoMpara bar3e-bar3e vyAkhyAna hue the| mahAsabhA, tIrthakSetra kameTI Adike adhivezana hue the, koThiyoMmeM bharapUra AmadanI huI, lAkhoM rupaye relave kampanI ne kamAye aura lAkhoM hI rupaye moTarakAra tathA bailagAr3iyoMmeM gye| parantu sarvadAke liye koI sthAyI kArya nahIM huaa| kyA usa samaya daza lAkhakI pU~jIse eka aisI saMsthAkA kholA jAnA durlabha thA, jisameM ki usa prAntake bhIloMke hajAroM bAlaka jainadharmakI zikSA pAte, hajAroM garIboMke lie auSadhikA prabandha hotA aura hajAroM manuSya AjIvikAke sAdhana prApta karate / parantu yaha to svapnakI vArtA hai, kyoMki hamArI dRSTi ina kAryoMko vyartha samajha rahI hai| yaha kalikAlakA mAhAtmya hai ki hama dravya-vyaya karake bhI usake yatheSTa lAbhase vaJcita rahate haiN| IsAI dharmavAloMko dekhiye, unhoMne apanI kartavyapaTutAse lAkhoM AdamiyoMko IsAI dharmameM dIkSita kara liyaa| hama yahA~ para usa dharmakI samIkSA karate, parantu yaha nizcita hai ki vaha dharma bhAratavarSakA nahIM, usakA calAnevAlA yUropakA thaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 248 ___ eka dinakI bAta hai| baruAsAgarameM mUlacandra ke zvasurako usake putrane zirameM lAThI mAra dI, usase sira phUTa gayA aura rudhira bahane lgaa| hama va mUlacandra sarrApha vahIM para baiThe the, kevala vacanoMse pralApa karane lage ki dekho, kaisA duSTa hai ? pitAkA zira jarjara kara diyaa| are ! koI hai nahIM, ise pkdd'o| darogA sAhaba ke yahA~ pulisameM riporTa kara do| patA lagegA ki mAranekA yaha phala hotA hai| dekho, kaisA duSTa hai| pitA vRddha hai| usako ucita to yaha thA ki isako vArdhakya avasthAmeM sevA karatA, para vaha to dUra rahI, ulTA lAThIse zira jarjarita kara diyaa| hA bhagavan ! bhAratameM kaise adhama puruSa hone lage haiM ? yahI kAraNa hai ki yahA~ para durbhikSa aura mArIkA prakopa banA rahatA hai| jahA~ pApI manuSyoM kA nivAsa rahatA hai vahA~ duHkhakI saba sAmagrI rahatI hai.......'ityAdi jo kucha manameM AyA use vacanoM dvArA prakaTa kara hama donoMne santoSa kara liyaa| para yaha na huA ki usa vRddhakI kucha sevA krte| itanemeM kyA dekhate haiM ki eka manuSya jo vahA~ bhIr3ameM khar3A huA thA, ekadama daur3A huA apane ghara gayA aura zIghra hI kucha sAmAna lekara vahA~ A gyaa| usane jalase usa vRddhakA zarIra dhoyA aura ghAvake Upara eka botalameMse kucha davAI ddaalii| pazcAt eka rezamakA Tukar3A jalAkara zirameM bhara diyaa| phira eka paTTI zirameM bA~dha dii| sAthameM do AdamI lAyA thA, unake dvArA usa vRddhako usake ghara pahuMcA diyaa| bhIr3ameM khar3e hue pacAsoM AdamI usakI isa sevAvRttikI prazaMsA karane lge| ___ hama logoMne usase pUchA-'bhAI ! Apa kauna haiM ? vaha bolA 'isase Apako kyA prayojana ? hama koI raheM, Apake kAma to aaye| phira hamane Agrahase pUchA-'jarA batalAiye to kauna haiM ?' usane kahA-'hama eka hindUke bAlaka haiN| IsAI dharma meM hamArI dIkSA huI hai| hamArA bApa jAtikA korI thaa| isI gA~vakA rahanevAlA thaa| jaba durbhikSa par3A aura hamAre bApakI kisIne paravariza na kI, taba lAcAra hokara usane IsAI dharma aMgIkAra kara liyaa| hamArI mA~ aba bhI sItArAmakA smaraNa karatI hai| hamArI bhI ruci hindU dharmase haTI nahIM hai| paranta kheda hai Apa to jainI haiM, pAnI chAnakara pIte haiM, rAtri-bhojana nahIM karate, kisI jIvakA vadha na ho jAve, isalie cuga cugakara anna khAte haiM, kaNDA nahIM jalAte 'kyoMki usameM jIvarAzi hotI hai, khaTamala hone para khaTiyA ghAmameM nahIM DAlate aura kisI strIke zirameM juvA~ ho jAveM to For Personal & Private Use Only

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prabhAvanA 249 unheM nikAla kara surakSita sthAna para rakha dete haiM ...... yaha saba hone para bhI Apake yahA~ jo dayA batalAI hai usase Apa loga vaMcita rahate haiM / eka vRddhako usake lar3akene lAThI mAra dI, yaha tuma loga dekhate rhe| kyA ekadama lAThI mAra dI hogI ? nahIM, pahale to vRddhane use kucha anApa-zanApa gAlI dI hogii| pazcAt lar3akene kucha kahA hogaa| dhIre-dhIre bAta bar3hate-bar3hate yaha avasara A gayA ki lar3akene pitAkA zira phor3a diyaa| Apa logoMko ucita thA ki usI samaya jabaki una donoMkI bAta bar3ha rahI thI, unheM samajhA kara yA sthAnAntarita karake zAnta kara dete| parantu tuma logoMkI yaha prakRti par3a gaI ki jhagar3AmeM kauna par3e ? yaha zUratA nahIM, yaha to kAyaratA hai / pIche jaba lar3ake ne vRddhakA zira phor3a diyA taba cillAne lage ki hAya re hAya ! kaisA duSTa bAlaka hai / para hama Apase hI pUchate haiM ki aisI samavedanA kisa kAma kI ? tuma loga kevala bolane meM zUra ho, jisakA samavedanAmeM karttavya nahIM usase kyA lAbha ? kArya karanemeM napuMsaka ho / ucita to yaha thA ki usa vRddhakI, usI samaya auSadhi Adise sevA karate / parantu tumheM to khUna dekhanese bhaya lagatA hai / parAye zarIra kI rugNAvasthA dekha glAni AtI hai| tuma loga apane mA~-bApakI zuzruSA nahIM kara sakate / vyartha hI ahiMsA dharmakI avahelanA kara rahe ho| isameM koI sandeha nahIM ki ahiMsA hI parama dharma hai / parantu tuma logoMkI bhASA hI bolanemeM madhura hai / tumhArA antaraMga zuddha nhiiN| hama logoMse Apa loga ghRNA karate haiM / parantu kabhI ekAntameM yaha vicArA ki hama IsAI kyoM ho gaye ? khAneke lie anna na milA / pahinaneke lie vastra nahIM mileM / usa hAlatameM Apa hI batalAiye, kyA karate ? ApakA dharma itanA utkRSTa hai ki usakA pAlana karanevAlA saMsArameM alaukika ho jAtA hai / parantu tumhAre AcaraNako dekhakara mujhe to dayA AtI hai / mujhe to aise svArthI logoMko manuSya kahate hue bhI lajjA AtI hai, ataH merI to Apase yaha vinaya hai ki Apa loga jitanA bolate haiM usakA sauvAM hissA bhI pAlana karanemeM lAveM to ApakI upamA isa samaya bhI milanA kaThina ho jaave| Apa logoMmeM itanI ajJAnatA samA gaI hai ki Apa loga manuSyako manuSya nahIM maante| sabase utkRSTa manuSya-paryAya hai, usakA Apa logoMko dhyAna nahIM / yadi isakA dhyAna hotA to Apake dhanakA sadupayoga manuSyatvake vikAsa meM pariNata hotA / Apa logoMke yahA~ eka bhI aisA Ayatana nahIM, jisameM bAlakoM ko prathama dhArmika zikSA dI jAtI ho / Apa logoMke lAkhoM rupaye mandirapratiSThA | For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 250 tathA tIrthayAtrA AdimeM vyaya hote haiM, parantu bAlakoMko vAstavika dharmakA jJAna ho isa ora kisIkA lakSya nahIM, kisIkA prayatna nhiiN| astu, hamako kyA prayojana ! kevala ApakI ceSTA dekha hamane Apa logoMko kucha truTiyoMkA AbhAsa karA diyA hai| acchA hama jAte haiM......... / ' hama usakI isa kharI samAlocanAse bahuta hI prasanna hue| jinheM hama yaha samajhate haiM ki ye loga dharma-viruddha AcaraNa karate haiM ve loga bhI hamAre kAryoMko dekhakara hameM uttama nahIM maante| kitanA gayA-bItA ho gayA hai hamArA AcaraNa ? vAstavameM dharmakI prabhAvanA AcaraNase hotI hai| yadi hamArI pravRtti paropakArarUpa hai to loga anAyAsa hI hamAre dharmakI prazaMsA kareMge aura yadi hamArI prakRti tathA AcAra malina haiM to kisIkI zraddhA hamAre dharmameM nahIM ho sktii| yahI kAraNa hai ki amRtacandra sUrine puruSArthasiddhyupAyameM likhA hai 'AtmA prabhAvanIyo ratnatrayatejasA satatameva / dAnatapojinapUjAvidyAtizayaizca jinadharmaH / / ' nirantara hI ratnatrayarUpa tejake dvArA AtmA prabhAvanA sahita karaneke yogya hai| tathA dAna, tapa, jinapUjA, vidyAbhyAsa Adi camatkAroMse jinadharmakI prabhAvanA karanI cAhiye / isakA tAtparya yaha hai ki saMsArI jIva anAdi kAlase avidyA-andhakArake dvArA Acchanna hai| unheM AtmatattvakA jJAna nhiiN| ve zarIrako hI AtmA mAna rahe haiN| nirantara usIke poSaNameM upayoga lagA rahe haiM tathA usIke lie anukUlameM rAga aura pratikUlameM dveSa karane lagate haiN| cU~ki zraddhAke anukUla hI jJAna aura cAritra hotA hai, ataH sarva prathama zraddhAko hI nirmala banAnekA prayatna karanA caahie| usake nirmala hote hI jJAna aura cAritrakA prAdurbhAva anAyAsa ho jAtA hai| isIkA nAma ratnatraya hai aura yahI mokSamArga hai| are, yaha to AtmAkI nija vibhUti hai| jisake ho jAtI hai vaha saMsAra bandhanase chUTa jAtA hai| vaha bhakta kahalAne lagatA hai| vAstavameM mokSaprApti honA hI nizcaya prabhAvanA hai| inakI mahimA vacanake dvArA nahIM kahI jA sktii| mokSakA lakSaNa AcAryoMne isa prakAra likhA hai sukhamAtyantikaM yatra buddhigraahymtiindriym| taM vai mokSaM bijAnIyAd duSprApyamakRtAtmabhiH / / jahA~ avinAzI atIndriya aura kevala buddhike dvArA grahaNameM AnevAlA sukha upalabdha ho use hI mokSa jAnanA caahiye| yaha mokSa akarmaNya athavA akuzala manuSyoMko durlabha rahatA hai| For Personal & Private Use Only

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prabhAvanA 251 prabhAvanA aMgakI mahimA aparampAra hai, hamaloga usa para lakSya nahIM dete| eka melemeM lAkhoM vyaya kara deveNge| para yaha na hogA ki aisA kArya kareM jisase sarvasAdhAraNa lAbha uThA skeN| Ajakala prAyaH aMgrejI davAkA vizeSa pracAra ho gayA hai| isakA mUla kAraNa yaha hai ki aise auSadhAlaya nahIM rahe jinameM zuddha auSadhi taiyAra mila ske| yadyapi isameM lAkhoM rupayoMkA kAma hai, para samudAya kyA nahIM kara sakatA ? uttamase uttama vaidyoMkI niyuktikI jAve, zuddha auSadhikI sulabhatA ho, Thaharane Adike saba sAdhana upalabdha hoM to loga anupasevya auSadhikA sevana kyoM kareMge ? ___ eka bhI vidyAlaya aisA nahIM jisameM sau chAtra saMskRta par3hate hoN| banArasameM eka vidyAlaya hai| sabase uttama sthAna hai| jo paNDita anyatra sau rupayemeM milegA vahA~ vaha bIsa rupayemeM mila sakatA hai| pratyeka viSayake vidvAn vahA~ anAyAsa mila sakate haiM, para Ajataka usakA mUladhana eka lAkha bhI nahIM ho skaa| nirantara adhikArI vargako cintita rahanA par3atA hai| Aja taka usa saMsthAko sthApita hue cAlIsa varSa ho cuke, para kabhI pacAsase adhika chAtra usameM nahIM raha ske| dhanAbhAvake kAraNa vahA~ kevala jaina chAtroM ko hI sthAna mila pAyA hai| Aja yadi paccIsa rupayA chAtravRtti brAhmaNa chAtroM ko dI jAve to sahasroM chAtra jainadharmake siddhAntoMke pAragAmI ho sakate haiM aura anAyAsa hI dharmakA pracAra ho sakatA hai| jaba loga dharmako jAna leMge taba anAyAsa usapara cleNge| AtmA svayaM parIkSaka hai, parantu kyA kareM ? sabake pAsa sAdhana nhiiN| yadi dharmapracArake yathArtha sAdhana mileM to binA kisI prayatnake dharmaprasAra ho jAve / dharma vastu koI bAhya padArtha nhiiN| AtmAkI nirmala pariNatikA nAma hI to dharma hai| jitane jIva haiM sabameM usakI yogyatA hai, parantu usa yogyatAkA vikAsa saMjJI jIvake hI hotA hai| jo asaMjJI haiM arthAta jinake mana nahIM unake to usake vikAsakA kAraNa hI nahIM hai| saMjJI jIvoMmeM eka manuSya hI aisA prANI hai jisase usakA pUrNa vikAsa ho sakatA hai| yahI kAraNa hai ki manuSya paryAya saba paryAyoMmeM uttama paryAya mAnI gaI hai| isa paryAyase hama saMyama dhAraNa kara sakate haiM, anya paryAyoMmeM saMyamakI yogyatA nhiiN| paJcendriyoMke viSayoMse cittavRttiko haTA lenA tathA jIvoMkI rakSA karanA hI to saMyama hai| yadi isa ora hamArA lakSya ho jAve to Aja hI hamArA kalyANa ho jaave| hamArA hI kyA, samAja bharakA kalyANa ho jaave| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 252 pahale samayameM munimArgakA prasAra thA, gRhastha loga saMsArase virakta ho jAte the aura unakI gRhiNI AryA arthAt sAdhvI ho jAtI thiiN| unakA jo parigraha bacatA thA vaha anya logoMke upabhogameM AtA thA tathA sahasroM bAlaka alpAvasthAmeM hI tyAgI, muni ho jAte the, ataH unakA vibhava bhI hama hI loga bhogate the| parantu Ajake loga to marate-marate bhogoMse udAsa nahIM hote| unheM AnandakA anubhava kahA~ se Ave? marate-marate yahI zabda sune jAte haiM ki yaha bAlaka ApakI godameM hai, rakSA karanA ityAdi / yaha duravasthA samAjakI ho rahI jinake pAsa puSkala dhana hai, ve apanI icchAke pratikUla eka paisA bhI nahIM kharca karanA cAhate ! yadi Apa vAstavameM dharmakI prabhAvanA karanA cAhate haiM to jAti-pakSako chor3akara prANimAtrakA upakAra kro| AgamameM to yahA~ taka likhA hai ki zrIAdinAtha bhagavAn jaba apane pUrvabhavameM rAjA vajajaMgha the aura vajradanta cakravartIke virakta honeke bAda unakI rAjyavyavasthAke liye jA rahe the taba bIcameM eka sarovarake taTa para Thahare the| vahA~ unhoMne cAraNa RddhidhArI muniyoMke lie AhAradAna diyaa| jisa samaya ve AhAradAna de rahe the usa samaya zUkara, siMha, nakula aura vAnara-ye cAra jIva bhI zAnta bhAvase baiThe the aura AhAradAna dekha kara mana hI mana prasanna ho rahe the| bhojanAntara rAjA vajrajaMghane cAraNamuniyoMse prazna kiyA ki he munirAja ! yaha jo cAra jIva zAnta baiThe hue haiM, isakA kAraNa kyA hai ? usa samaya munirAjane unake pUrva janmakA varNana kiyA, jise sunakara ve itane prabhAvita hue ki unakA avaziSTa jIvana dharmamaya ho gayA aura AyukA avasAna hone para jahA~ rAjA vajrajaMgha aura unakI rAnI zrImatIkA janma huA, vahIM para inakA bhI janma huA tathA rAjAke mantrI, purohita, senApati aura zreSThI ye cAroM jIva bhI vahIM utpanna hue| pazcAt vanajaMghakA jIva jaba kaI bhavoMke bAda zrI AdinAtha tIrthaMkara huA, taba ve jIva bhI unhIM prabhuke bAhubali Adi putra hue| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki dharma kisI jAti vizeSakA paitRka vibhava nahIM, apitu prANimAtrakA svabhAva dharma hai| karmakI prabalatAse usakA abhAvasA ho rahA hai, ataH jinheM dharmakI prabhAvanA iSTa hai, unheM ucita hai ki prANimAtrake Upara dayA kareM / ahaMbuddhiko tilAJjali deveN| tabhI dharmakI prabhAvanA ho sakatI hai| bAhya upakaraNoMkA prAcurya dharmakA utanA sAdhaka nahIM jitanA ki AtmapariNatikA nirmala honA sAdhaka hai| bhUkhe manuSyako AbhUSaNa denA tRptijanaka For Personal & Private Use Only

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pUjya varNIjI khaDgAsana mudrAmeM For Personal & Private Use Only

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bAIjI (cirauMjAbAI) ne kahA-'"beTA !....maiM tumhArI dharmamAtA hU~, yaha ghara tumhAre lie hai, koI cintA na kro|" (pRSTha 6) zrI jalamaMdira rezaMdIgiri (nainAgiri kSetra) (pRSTha 20) For Personal & Private Use Only

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maiM zrI dharmavijaya sUrike sAtha (apane vidyAguru) zrI ambAdAsajI zAstrI ke pAsa pahu~ca gyaa| (pRSTha 66) / avazya hI tuma logoM ke lie isa sthAna para (bhadainIghATa para) vidyA kA aisA Ayatana hogA, jisameM uccakoTi ke vidvAn banakara dharma kA prasAra kreNge| (pRSTha 66) For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #281
varNIjI apanI pUrvAvasthAmeM(pRSTha 118) isa taraha jahA~ taka banatA zarIrako samhAlanemeM kasara nahIM rakhatA thA, parantu yaha saba hone para bhI merI pApamaya pravRtti svapnameM bhI nahIM hotI thii| (pRSTha 151) For Personal & Private Use Only

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maiMne kuNDalapurameM zrI bAbA gokulacandrajIse prArthanA kI ki 'mahArAja ! mujhe saptamI pratimAkA vrata diijie|....aap hamAre pUjya haiM tathA ApameM hamArI bhakti hai, ataH vrata diijie|'..... bAbAjIne vidhipUrvaka mujhe saptamI pratimAke vrata diye| (pRSTha 175) sAgara meM varNI jI siMghaI jI ke sAtha (pRSTha 206) For Personal & Private Use Only

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Apane (dAnavIra kamarayA rajjIlAlajIne) sadasyoMse maMjUrI lI aura pahalese bhI acchA bhavana banavA diyaa| donoM bhavanoMke bIcameM eka bar3A hAthI daravAjA banavAyA / daravAjeke Upara caMdraprabha caityAlaya banavA diyA / (pRSTha 206 ) For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #284
pUjya varNI gaNezaprasAdajI varNI bhAgIrathajI varNI dIpacaMdajI (pRSTha 288) unhoMne bAIjIko baiThA diyaa| bAIjIne donoM hAtha jor3e 'OM siddhAya namaH' kahakara prANa tyAga diye| (pRSTha 306) For Personal & Private Use Only

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varSAkAla gayA meM sAnanda biitaa| yahA~ se maine kArtika vadI doja kI logo se sammati lekara zrI vIraprabhu kI nirvANabhUmi ke liye prasthAna kiyaa| (pRSTha 352) jabalapura gurukula (pRSTha 385) For Personal & Private Use Only

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prabhAvanA 253 nahIM jitanA ki do roTiyA~ denA hai| isa paJcama kAlameM prAyaH duHkhI prANI bahuta haiM, ataH apanI sAmarthya ke anukUla unake duHkha dUra karanemeM prayAsa kro| ve Apase Apa dharmameM prema karane lgeNge| 'jainadharmake anuyAyI kevala pandraha lAkha raha gaye....itanA kahanese hI kAma na clegaa| 'paJcamakAla hai| isameM to dharmakA hAsa honA hI hai| vIraprabhu ne aisA hI dekhA hai....isa prakArake vicAroMmeM kucha sAra nhiiN| pratidina vyApAra karate ho, ToTA bhI par3atA hai aura naphA bhI hotA hai| kyA jaba ToTA par3atA hai taba vyApAra tyAga dete ho? nahIM; taba dharmameM itanI nirAzatAkA upayoga kyoM ? dharmake liye yathAzakti dravyakA sadupayoga kro| yahI saccI prabhAvanA hai| bahutase mahAnubhAva haiM ki jinake sajAtIya bandhu to AjIvikA vihIna hokara itastataH bhramaNa kara rahe haiM para ve hajAroM rupaye pratiSThA AdimeM vyaya kara rahe haiM aura khUbIkI bAta yaha hai ki sajAtIya bandhuoMkI avasthAke sudhAranemeM eka paisA denemeM bhI udAratAkA paricaya nahIM dete| kyA yaha prabhAvanA hai ? aisA dekhA gayA hai ki manuSya jinase hajAroM rupaye arjana kara isa lokameM pratiSThAko prApta hue haiM aura jinake dravyase dharma kara siMghaI, seTha yA zrImanta bananeke pAtra hue haiM, unhIMke nanheM-nanheM bAlakoM para jo ki annake lie tarasa rahe haiM dayA na karake manonIta kAryoMmeM dravya vyaya kara dharmAtmA bananekA prayatna karate haiM; yaha kyA ucita hai ? yaha kyA dharmakA svarUpa hai ? isakA mUla kAraNa antaraMgameM abhiprAyakI malinatA hai| jinakA abhipAya nirmala hai ve jo bhI kArya kareMge, yathAyogya kreNge| garmIke dinameM prANI tRSNAse Atura rahate haiM, ataH unheM pAnIse santuSTa karanA ucita hai| Ajakala saMsArameM adhikatara manuSya bekAra ho gaye haiN| unheM yathAyogya kAryameM lagA denA hI ucita hai| AgamakI to yaha AjJA hai ki dravyakSetrAdi nimittako dekhakara dravyAdikI vyavasthA karanA cAhiye / vartamAnameM aneka manuSya annake binA apanA dharma chor3akara anya dharma aMgIkAra kara lete haiN| koI unakI rakSA karanevAlA nhiiN| dravyakA sadupayoga yahI hai ki duHkhI prANiyoMkI rakSAmeM lagAyA jaave| pratyeka AtmAmeM dharma hai; parantu karmodayakI balabattAse usakA vikAsa nahIM ho paataa| yadi bhAgyodayase tumhArI AtmAmeM unake vikAsakA avasara AtA hai to isa bAhya dravyase mamatA choDakara nairgranthapada dhAraNa kro| yadi itanI yogyatA nahIM to bAhya sAmagrI tumheM upalabdha hai, use usIke For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 254 sAdhanoMmeM vyaya kro| jitanA-jitanA kaSAyakA upazama hotA jAve utanA-utanA tyAgako vRddhirUpa karate jaao| sabase pahale gRhasthAvAsthA anyAyase jo dhanArjana karate the usakA saMvara karo evaM anyAyake jo viSaya the unheM tyaago| bhojana aisA karo jo abhakSya na ho| dAnazAlA kholo, parantu unameM zuddha bhojanAdikI vyavasthA ho| auSadhAlaya kholo, parantu unameM zuddha auSadhikI vyavasthA kro| vidyAlaya kholo, parantu unameM svaparabhedajJAnakI zikSAke mukhya sAdhana juttaao| mandira banavAo, parantu unameM aisI pratimA padharAo ki use dekhakara prANImAtrako zAnti aajaave| merI nijI sammati to yaha hai ki eka aisA mandira banavAnA cAhiye ki jisameM saba matavAloMkI sundarase sundara mUrtiyA~ aura unake Upara saMgamarmarameM unakA itihAsa likhA rhe| jaise ki durgAkI mUrtike sAtha durgA sptshtii| isI prakAra pratyeka devatAkI mUrtike sAtha saMgamarmarameM vizAla paTiye para usakA itihAsa rhe| ina sabake antameM zrIAdinAtha svAmIkI mUrti apane itihAsake sAthameM rahe aura antameM eka siddhabhagavAnkI mUrti rahe / yaha to deva-mandirakI vyavasthA rhii| isake bAda sAdhuvargakI vyavasthA rahanA caahiye| sarvamatake sAdhuoMkI mUrtiyA~ tathA unakA itihAsa aura antameM sAdhu, upAdhyAya, AcAryakI mUrtiyA~ evaM unakA itihAsa rhe| mandirake sAthameM eka bar3A bhArI pustakAlaya ho jisameM sarva AgamoMkA samUha ho| pratyeka matavAloMko usameM par3hanekA subhItA rhe| hara eka vibhAgameM niSNAta vidvAn raheM jo ki apane matakI mArmika sthiti sAmane rakha skeN| yaha ThIka hai ki yaha kArya sAmAnya manuSyoM ke dvArA nahIM ho sakatA, para asambhava bhI nahIM hai| eka karor3a to mandira aura sarasvatI-bhavanameM laga jAvegA aura eka karor3ake byAjase isakI vyavasthA cala sakatI hai| isake lie sarvottama sthAna banArasa hai| hamArI to kalpanA hai ki jainiyoMmeM aba bhI aise vyakti haiM ki jo akele hI isa mahAn kAryako kara sakate haiN| dharmake vikAsake lie to hamAre pUrvaja logoMne bar3e-bar3e rAjyAdi tyAga diye| jaise mAtA ke udarase janmeM vaise hI cale gye| aise-aise upAkhyAna AgamoMmeM milate haiM ki rAjAke virakta honepara sahasroM virakta ho gye| jinake bhojanake liye devoMke dvArA sAmagrI bhejI jAtI thI, ve digambara padakA Alambana kara bhikSAvRtti aMgIkAra karate haiN| jinake calAneke lie nAnA prakAra ke vAhana sadA taiyAra rahate the ve yugapramANa bhUmiko nirakhate hue naMge paira gamana karate hue karmabandhana ko naSTa karate haiN| For Personal & Private Use Only

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paravArasabhAke adhivezana 255 AgamameM yahA~ taka likhA hai ki yadi prabhuko cha: mAsa paryanta antarAyake kAraNa caryAkI vidhi na milI phira bhI unake cittameM udvega nahIM huaa| aise hI vizAla mahAnubhAva jagatkA kalyANa kara sakate haiM, ataH jinake pAsa vartamAnameM puSkala dravya hai, unheM jainadharmake vikAsameM vyayakara ekabAra prabhAvanAkA svarUpa saMsArako dikhA denA caahiye| para vAstavameM bAta yahI hai ki likhanevAle bahuta haiM aura karanevAle virale haiN| jaba ki likhanevAleko yaha nizcaya ho gayA ki isa prakAra dharmakI prabhAvanA hotI hai taba svayaM use usa rUpa bana jAnA caahiye| para dekhA yaha jAtA hai ki lekhaka svayaM vaise bananekI ceSTA nahIM krte| kevala mohake vikalpoMmeM jo kucha manameM AyA vaha lekhabaddha kara dete haiM yA vaktA banakara manuSyake bIca usakA upadeza sunA dete haiM tathA logoM dvArA 'dhanya ho, dhanya ho' yaha kahalA kara apaneko kRta-kRta samajha lete haiN| kyA ise vAstavika prabhAvanA kahA jAya ? vAstavika prabhAvanA yahI hai ki AtmAmeM samyagdarzanAdi guNoMkA vikAsa kiyA jaay| isa prabhAvanAkA prArambha sAtizaya mithyAdRSTise zurU hotA hai aura pUrNatA caturdazaguNasthAnake carama samayameM hotI hai| paravArasabhAke adhivezana eka bAra paravArasabhAkA utsava sAgarameM huaa| zrImanta seTha pUranazAhajI sivanIvAle sabhApati the| sabhAmeM paraspara bar3A jhagar3A huaa| jhagar3ekI jar3a cAra sAMkeM thiiN| zrImanta seTha mohanalAlajI khuraIkI sammati ATha sAMkoMkI thii| jo prAcIna prathA hai use Apa anya rUpameM parivartita nahIM karanA cAhate the| maiMne logoMse bahuta vinayake sAtha kahA ki samaya pAkara cAra sAMke kyA, do hI raha jaaveNgii| isa samaya Apa loga zrImanta sAhabakI bAta rahane diijiye| Apa isa prAntake karNadhAra haiN| sabane svIkAra kiyaa| vivAda zAnta ho gyaa| hamAre paramasnehI zrIrajjIlAlajI kamarayAko sabhAkI taraphase 'dAnavIra' padavI denekA Ayojana ho cukA thA, parantu paraspara cAra sAMkake manomAlinyase vaha padavI sthagita kara dI gii| isa prAntameM vaha eka hI vilakSaNa puruSa thA, jisane eka lAkha rupayA lagAkara vidyAlaya bhavana nirmANa karAyA thaa| isake bAda eka bAra papaurAmeM paravAra sabhAkA adhivezana huA jisakA adhyakSa maiM thA, parantu isa prAntameM sudhArakoMkI dAla nahIM gala paaii| zrI paM. motIlAlajIke dvArA sthApita vIra-vidyAlayako kucha sahAyatA avazya mila gaI, para vaha nahIMke tulya thii| Aja jo sarvatra paravAra loga phaile hue haiM ve isI For Personal & Private Use Only

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256 merI jIvanagAthA 1 prAntake haiN| parantu inakI dRSTi isa ora nahIM, yaha ajJAnatAkI hI mahimA hai / papaurA jaisA uttama sthAna isa prAntameM nahIM, yahA~ 75 jaina mandira haiM bar3e-bar3e jinAlaya haiN| Ajakala lAkhoM rupayoM meM bhI vaisI sundara aura sudRr3ha imArateM nahIM bana sktiiN| yahA~ bar3againIkA eka bahuta hI bhavya mandira hai / usakI dantakathA isa prakAra sunI jAtI hai : bar3againIkA pati bahuta bImAra thA / unake koI putra na thA / jinake koI vArisa na ho unake dhanakA svAmI rAjya hotA thA / kintu vaha dravya yadi dharma-kAryameM lagA dI jAve to rAjyakI orase dharmameM pUrNa sahAyatA dI jAtI thI aura dravya rAjyameM nahIM jAtI thI.... aisA vahA~ke rAjyakA niyama thA / jisa rAtriko bar3againIkA pati maranevAlA thA usa rAtriko bar3againIne sabase kahA ki Apa loga apane-apane ghara jaaiye| jaba saba loga cale gaye taba bar3againIne andara se kivAr3a lagA liye aura saba dhana, jo lAkha rupayese Upara thA, A~ganameM rakhakara usa para haldI cAvala chir3aka diye / rAtrike bAraha baje patikA anta ho gayA / prAtaHkAla dAhakriyA honeke bAda rAjyakarmacArIgaNa Aye / bar3againIne kahA- 'dhana to A~ganameM rakkhA hai Apa loga le jAiye / parantu maiMne apane mRta patikI AjJAnusAra yaha saba dhana dharma-kAryameM lagAnekA nizcaya kara liyA hai|' karmacArIgaNane vApisa jAkara dIvAna sAhabako saba vyavasthA sunA dii| dIvAna sAhabane prasanna hokara AjJA dI ki vaha jo bhI dharmakArya karanA cAhe, Anandase kareM / rAjyakI orase usameM pUrNa sahAyatA dI jAnI cAhiye / bar3againIne papaurA jAkara bar3e samArohake sAtha mandirakI nIMva DAla dI aura zIghra hI mandira banavA kara paJcakalyANaka karanekA nizcaya kara liyA / gajaratha utsava huA jisameM eka lAkha jainI aura eka lAkhase bhI adhika sAdhAraNa loga ekatrita hue the / rAjyakI orase itanA sundara prabandha thA ki kisIkI suI bhI corI nahIM gii| tIna paMgateM huIM, jinameM pratyeka paMgatameM pacahattara hajArase kama bhojana karanevAloMkI saMkhyA na hotI thii| tIna lAkha AdamiyoMkA bhojana banA thA / Ajakala to isa prathAko vyartha batAne lage haiN| astu, samayakI balihArI haiN| eka bAta aura vilakSaNa huI sunI jAtI hai jo isa prakAra hai-melAke samaya kuvoMkA pAnI sUkha gayA, jisase janatA ekadama becaina ho uThI / kisIne kahA mantrakA prayoga kro| kisIne kahA tantrakA upayoga kro| para bar3againI For Personal & Private Use Only

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nispRha vidvAn aura udAra gRhastha 257 bolI mujhe kUpameM baiThA do| logoMne bahuta manA kiyA, para vaha na maanii| antameM bar3againI kue~meM utAra dI gii| vaha vahA~ jAkara bhagavAn kA smaraNa karane lagI-'bhagavAn ! merI lAja rkkho|' usane itane nirmalabhAvase stuti kI ki dasa minaTake bhItara kuA~ bhara gayA aura bar3againI Upara A gii| caubIsa ghaNTe pAnI Upara rahA, rassIkI AvazyakatA nahIM pdd'ii| Anandase melA bharake prANiyoMne pAnIkA upayoga kiyaa| dharmakI acintya mahimA hai| pazcAt melA vighaTa gayA.....yaha dantakathA Aja taka prasiddha hai| nispRha vidvAn aura udAra gRhastha __ isI papaurAkI bAta hai| yahA~ para rAmabagasa seThake paJcakalyANaka the| unake yahA~ zrI svargIya bhAgacandrajI sAhaba pratiSThAcArya the| jaba Apa Aye taba seThajIke suputra gaMgAdhara seThane pUchA ki 'mahArAja ! Apake liye kaisA bhojana banavAyA jAve, kaccA yA pakkA yA kaccA-pakkA / ' zrIpaNDitajIne uttara diyA-'na kaccA na pakkA na kccaa-pkkaa| taba gaMgAdhara seThane kahA-'to ApakA bhojana kaisA hogA ?' paNDitajI bole-'seThajI ! mere pratijJA hai ki jisake yahA~ pratiSThA karaneke liye jAU~ usake yahA~ bhojana na kruuNgaa|' seThajIke pitA bahuta catura the| unhoMne munImako AjJA dI ki 'jitane sthAnoMpara gajarathakI patrikA gaI utane sthAnoM para niSedhake patra bhejo aura unameM likha do ki aba seThajI ke yahA~ gajaratha nahIM hai| jitanA ghAsa ho grAma bharakI gAyoMko DAla do, lakar3I, ghar3A Adi garIba manuSyoMko vitaraNa kara do, ghI Adi khAdya sAmagrIko sAdhAraNa rUpase vitaraNa kara do tathA rAjyameM ittilA kara do ki seThajIke yahA~ gajaratha nahIM hai, ataH sarakAra prabandha AdikA koI kaSTa na utthaave| zrIpaNDitajI mahArAjako savArIkA prabandha kara do, jisase ve zrI paMpApura (papaurA) ke jinAlayoMke darzana kara aaveN| jaba vahA~se vApisa A taba lalitapura taka savArIkA yogya prabandha kara denA aura lalitapura taka Apa svayaM pahu~cA aanaa|' paNDitajI bole-'seThajI yaha kyoM ?' seThajIne kahA-'Apa hamArA anna bhakSaNa karanemeM samartha nahIM arthAt Apa use ayogya samajhate haiN| jaba yaha bAta hai taba hama anya samAjako ayogya anna khilA kara pAtakI nahIM banAnA caahte|' paNDitajI bole-'seThajI ! mere pratijJA hai, ataH maiM lAcAra huuN|' seThajIne kahA-'mahArAja ! hama to ajJAnI haiM aura Apa bahujJAnI haiM, para kyA yaha Agama kahatA hai ki jisake yahA~ paJcakalyANaka ho usake yahA~ bhojana na For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 258 karanA ?' paNDitajI bole-'AgamakI AjJA to aisI nahIM, parantu hamameM lobhakI mAtrA na bar3ha jAve, isase tyAga kara diyaa| seThajIne kahA-'ApakA yaha tyAga hamArI samajhameM nahIM aataa| athavA ApakI jo icchA ho, so kreN| hamArI icchA aba paJcakalyANaka karanekI nhiiN| jaba ki Apa jaise mahAn puruSakA hI Adara karaneke pAtra nahIM taba itanA mahAn puNya karaneke pAtra ho sakeMge, isameM sandeha hotA hai| antameM paNDitajI niruttara hokara bole-'acchA seThajI bhojana banavAiye, hama saba loga bhojana kreNge| seThajI bahuta prasanna hue aura zIghra hI munImase bole ki 'jAo zIghra hI papaurA sAmAna bhejanekA prabandha kro| mahArAja ! caliye bhojana kriye|' paNDitajI musakarAte hue bhojanake liye gye| sAthameM seThajI bhI the| bundelakhaNDakA kaccA-pakkA bhojana kara paNDitajI bahuta prasanna hue| bhojanake pazcAt papaurAke liye prasthAna kara gye| kaI mIla taka melAkI bhIr3a thii| usa samaya paMpApurakI zobhA svargakhaNDake samAna ho rahI thii| lAkhoM jainI Aye the| melA sAnanda samApta huA aura saba loga apane-apane sthAna para cale gye| zrIyuta paM. bhAgacandrajI sAhaba bhI jAneke lie prastuta hue, taba seThajIne kahA ki 'mahArAja ! eka dina aura Thahara jAiye, maiM Agantuka mahAnubhAvoMko bidAkara Apako bhejuuNgaa|' paNDitajI raha gye| rAtriko mandirameM sabhA huii| seThajIne rAjyake saba karmacAriyoMko nimantraNa diyaa| paNDitajIne dharmake Upara vyAkhyAna diyaa| saba maNDalI prasanna huii| prAtaHkAla paNDitajIke gamanakA suavasara aayaa| sampUrNa jaina maNDalIne puSpamAlAoMse paNDitajIkA satkAra kiyaa| seThajIne pratiSThAcAryako jaisA satkAra vihita thA, vaisA kiyaa| yadyapi paNDitajIne bahuta manA kiyA, parantu seThajIne eka na sunI aura zAstrAnukUla unakA satkAra kiyaa| paNDitajI bhI antaraMgase bahuta prasanna hue| aba samayakA parivartana ho gyaa| Aja paNDita cAhate haiM para samAja denA nahIM cAhatI; una dinoM jo paNDitoMkA Adara thA Aja usakA zatAMza bhI nhiiN| do mIlataka saba loga paNDitajIko pahu~cAneke liye gaye aura sabane vinamra bhAvase prArthanAkI ki 'mahArAja ! phira bhI isa prAntameM ApakA zubhAgamana ho| hama loga aise prAntameM rahate haiM ki jahA~ vidyAkI nyUnatA hai| parantu mahArAja ! hama loga sarala bahuta haiN| Apa jo zikSA deveMge usakA yathAzakti pAlana kreNge| mahArAja ! hamAre dezakI aurateM hAthase hI ATA pIsatI haiM aura For Personal & Private Use Only

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jabalapurameM zikSA-mandira 259 hAthase hI pAnI bharatI haiN| kisI anya jAtikA bhojana hama loga nahIM krte| hamAre yahA~ bAjArakI miThAI khAnekA rivAja nahIM hai| aSTamI, caturdazIko prAyaH loga ekAzana karate haiN| varSA Rtuke Ate hI baila aura bailagAr3iyoMkA calanA chor3a dete haiN| Adhe ku~vArase punaH kAmameM lete haiN| mandirameM jaba zAstra bA~cate haiM taba zuddha vastroMkA upayoga karate haiN| bAjArake kapar3oMko pahinakara zAstrakA sparza nahIM krte| hamAre prAntameM prAyaH jalavihAra karanekA bahuta rivAja hai| tIrthayAtrAke bAda do sau yA cAra sau AdamiyoMkI paMgata prAyaH sabhI loga karate haiM .....yaha saba UparI kriyA hote hue bhI hama loga vidyA se zUnya hai| isa prAntameM zrI devIdAsajI Adi acche-acche vidvAn ho gaye haiN| vartamAnameM paM. bihArIlAlajI satanA tathA paM. rAmalAlajI khimalAsA Adi aba bhI haiM, phira bhI viralatA hai| AzA hai hamArI prArthanA para ApakA citta dayArdra huA hogaa|'...... itanA kaha kara sabake netra azruoMse plAvita ho gaye / zrImAn paNDitajI bhI gadgad svarase kahane lage ki samaya pAkara hama avazya isa prAnta meM aaveNge| isa prakAra paNDitajI sAhabako bidAkara saba loga apane-apane ghara gye|....yh kathA vahA~ aba bhI khUba prasiddha hai| jabalapurameM zikSA-mandira lalitapurameM paJcakalyANaka mahotsava thA, tIna gajaratha the, zAstripariSadkA utsava thA, paravArasabhAkA adhivezana thA, sAtha hI morenA vidyAlayakA bhI utsava thaa| isa mahotsavameM eka lAkha jainI the| paravArasabhAke sabhApati siMghaI pannAlAlajI amarAvatIvAle the| isI avasarapara golApUrva sabhAkA bhI adhivezana thaa| usake sabhApati siMghaI kundanalAlajI the| golAlAre sabhAkA bhI Ayojana thaa| sabhAmeM vyAkhyAtAoMkI lambI-lambI vaktRtAe~ huii| phala kyA huA, so Aja kalakI sabhAoMse anumAnakara lenA caahie| morenA vidyAlayakA utsava huA, parantu pArasparika manomAlinyake kAraNa vizeSa lAbha nahIM huaa| svargIya pUjya gopAladAsajIke prabhAvase hI Aja siddhAntakA pracAra jainiyoMmeM ho rahA hai| Apake smaraNase hI hameM zAnti AtI hai| Apane morenAmeM eka uccakoTike siddhAnta-vidyAlayakI sthApanA kI thI, jahA~ vaMzIdharajI, paM. mANikacandrajI, paM. devakInandanajI Adi bar3e utsAhake sAtha kAma karate the| kintu unake pazcAt pakSapAtake kAraNa siddhAntamahodadhi paM. vaMzIdharajI sAhaba vahA~se jabalapura cale gaye, zrImAn nyAyAcArya paM. mANikacandrajI sAhaba sahAranapura For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 260 cale gaye aura zrImAn vyAkhyAnavAcaspati paM. devakInandanajI sAhaba kAraMjA cale gye| zAstripariSadkA bhI adhivezana huA para, kucha zAstrI logoMkI kRpAse AdhA yahA~ huA AdhA dillIko gayA / zrImAn paMDita tulasIrAmajI vANIbhUSaNa, paMDita vaMzIdharajI tathA paMDita devakInandanajIke udyogase bundelakhaNDa prAntameM eka zikSAmandirakI sthApanA huii| zrImAn seTha mathurAdAsajI TaDaiyAne, jinake yahA~ gajaratha thA, kahA-'cintA mata karo, saba kArya nirvighna hogaa| zrIabhinandana svAmIkA yaha acintya pratApa hai ki eka hI bAra unake darzana karanese saba kArya siddha ho jAte haiM, ataH Apa loga eka bAra kSetrapAlameM sthita zrIabhinandananAtha svAmIkI mUrtikA smaraNa karo, parantu yaha bhAva niSkapaTa ho| tiraskArakI bhAvanA kAryakI bAdhaka hai| Aja kala hama jisa dharma-kAryakI nIMva DAlate haiM usameM yaha abhiprAya rahatA hai ki amukake dharmakAryase hamArA dharmakArya uttama hai| astu, ina kathAoMko chor3iye aura zikSAmandirakI unnatikA yatna kiijiye|' isa kAryameM zrIyutta siMghaI ku~varasenajI sivanI, siMghaI pannAlAlajI amarAvatI, siMghaI phatahacandrajI nAgapura aura zrI sarrApha mUlacandrajI baruAsAgara AdikA mukhya prayatna thaa| cU~ki jabalapura bundelakhaNDa prAntakA eka sampanna nagara hai, ataH vahIM zikSA mandira ke lie sthAna cunA gyaa| yahA~ eka kameTImeM yaha nizcita huA ki zikSAmandirake pracArake lie eka DepuTezana madhyaprAntameM jAnA cAhiye aura DepuTezanakA prathama sthAna amarAvatI honA cAhiye / anya aneka gaNamAnya vyakti amarAvatI phuNce| zrIyuta siM. pannAlAlajIne sabakA acchA svAgata kiyaa| vahA~se nAgapura, vardhA, AravI, rAyapura, DoMgaragar3ha, akalatarA Adi kaI sthAnoMpara gye| acchI saphalatA milI, prAyaH bIsa hajAra rupaye ho gye| jabalapurameM zikSAmandira khula gyaa| zrImAn paM. vaMzIdharajI siddhAntavAcaspati mukhyAdhyApakake sthAnapara aura zrI paM. govindarAyajI kAvyatIrtha sahAyaka adhyApakake sthAnapara niyukta hue| chAtrasaMkhyA bhI acchI ho gaI aura kAma yathAvat calane lgaa| ___eka lAkha rupayA sthAyI karanekA saMkalpa thA aura yadi loga cAra mAsa bhramaNa karate to honA azakya nahIM thaa| parantu jabalapuravAloMne aisA TapAyA ki candA ekadama banda ho gayA aura do tIna varSake bAda zikSAmandirakI itizrI ho gii| For Personal & Private Use Only

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paravArasabhAmeM vidhavAvivAhakA prastAva 261 paravArasabhAmeM vidhavAvivAhakA prastAva abataka sAgara pAThazAlAkI vyavasthA acchI ho gaI thii| chAtragaNa manoyogapUrvaka adhyayana karane lage the| Aja jo paNDita jIvandharajI nyAyatIrtha indaura meM rahate haiM unhoMne isI vidyAlayameM madhyamA parIkSA taka adhyayana kiyA thaa| paM. pannAlAlajI kAvyatIrtha jo ki Ajakala hindU vizvavidyAlaya banArasameM jainadharmake prophesara haiM, isI vidyAlayake vidyArthI haiN| paM. dayAcandrajI zAstrI, paM. mANikacandrajI aura paM. pannAlAlajI sAhityAcArya ye tInoM vidvAn isI pAThazAlAke pramukha chAtra the aura Ajakala isI pAThazAlAmeM adhyApana kara rahe haiN| zrI paM. kamalakumArajI vyAkaraNatIrtha, jo ki seTha sAhaba ke vidyAlayameM vyAkaraNAdhyApaka haiM, isI pAThazAlAke pramukha chAtra raha cuke haiN| zrI paM. pannAlAlajI, jo ki akalatarAke prasiddha vyApArI aura lakhapati haiM, isI pAThazAlAke chAtra haiN| kahA~ taka likheM ? bahuta se uttamottama vidvAn isa vidyAlayase nikalakara jainadharmakI sevA kara rahe haiN| __ yahA~ cAra mAsa rahakara maiM phira kAzI calA gayA, kyoMki merA jo vidyAdhyayanakA lakSya thA vaha chuTa cukA thA aura usakA mUla kAraNa itastataH bhramaNa hI thaa| ATha mAsa banArasa rahA, itanemeM bInA (bArahA) kA melA A gyaa| vahIM para paravArasabhAkA adhivezana thaa| adhivezanake sabhApati bAbU paMcamalAlajI tahasIladAra the aura svAgatAdhyakSa zrI siMghaI hajArIlAlajI mahArAjapuravAle the| mere pAsa mahArAjapurase tAra AyA ki Apa melAmeM avazya Aiye / yahA~ para jo paravArasabhA honevAlI hai usameM vidhavA-vivAha kA prastAva hogA, usake poSaka bar3e-bar3e mahAnubhAva AveMge, brahmacArI zItalaprasAdajI bhI AveMge, ataH aise avasara para ApakA AnA paramAvazyaka hai......antameM lAcAra hokara mujhe jAnekA nizcaya karanA pdd'aa| jaba maiM banArasase sAgara pahuMcA taba pAThazAlAmeM zrIyukta brahmacArI zItalaprasAdajI upasthita the| maiM pAThazAlA gyaa| unhoMne icchAkAra kii| maiMne kahA-brahmacArIjI ! maiM icchAkAra nahIM karanA cAhatA, kyoMki Apa aise mahApuruSa hokara bhI vidhavAvivAhake poSaka ho gye| mujhe kheda hai ki Apane yaha kArya hAthameM lekara jaina samAjako adhaHpatanakI ora le jAnekA prayAsa kiyA hai| Apa jaise marmajJako yaha ucita na thaa| Apa bole-'zAstrArtha kara lo|' maiMne kahA-'maiM to zAstrArtha karanA ucita nahIM smjhtaa| zAstrArthameM yaha hogA ki kucha to Apake pakSameM ho jAveMge aura kucha mere pakSameM / abhI Apake For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 262 pakSakA eka bhI nhiiN| parantu zAstrArtha karaneke bAda inhIM mahAzayoM meM bahutase Apake anuyAyI ho jAveMge, kyoMki saMsArameM saba prakArake manuSya haiN| ataH merI to yahI sammati hai ki bInA-bArahAke darzana kara bambaIkI ora prayANa kara jaaveN| bar3A lAbha hogaa| yaha deza bholA hai| yahA~ to aisA pracAra karo ki jisase sahasroM bAlaka sAkSara ho jaaveN| abhI ApakI bAtakA samaya nahIM, kyoMki logoMke hRdayameM Apa jisa pApakI pravRtti karanA cAhate haiM abhI usakI vAsanA taka nahIM hai| paJcamakAlakA abhI dasavA~ hissA ho gayA hai| abhI itane kaluSita saMskAra nahIM, ataH merI prArthanApara mImAMsA karanekI ceSTA kriye| zIghratA karanemeM Apa hAnike sivAya lAbha na utthaaveNge|' brahmacArIjI bole-'tumane deza-kAlapara dhyAna nahIM diyaa| vaidhavya hokara duHkha vahI jAnatI hai jo vidhavA ho jAtI hai| viSaya-sukhakI lAlasA sattara varSa takake vRddhako nahIM jAtI, ataH kitane hI AdamI sattara varSakI avasthAmeM bhI vivAha karanese nahIM cUkate aura samAja meM aise-aise mUr3ha loga bhI haiM jo dhanake lAlacase kanyAko beca dete haiN| phira jaba vaha vRddha mara jAtA hai taba usa becArI vidhavAkI jo dazA hotI hai vaha samAjase chipI nhiiN| aneka vidhavAe~ garbhapAta karatI haiM aura aneka vidharmiyoMke ghara calI jAtI haiN| etadapekSA yadi vidhavAvivAha kara diyA jAve taba kauna-sI hAni hai ? maiM bolA-'hAni jo hai so prakaTa hai| jina jainiyoMmeM inakI prathA ho gaI hai unakI dazA dekhanese tarasa AtA hai| isake pracArase jo anartha hoMge unakA anumAna jinameM vidhavAvivAha hotA hai unake vyavahArase kara sakate ho| jo ho, isa viSayapara maiM zAstrArtha karanA ucita nahIM samajhatA / isakA pakSa lenA kevala pApakA poSaka hogaa| Apa bhI antameM pazcAttApa kreNge| ApakA yaza samAjameM bahuta hai, use kalaMkita karanA sarvathA anucita hai| jo Apake pathake poSaka haiM ve eka bhI Apake sAthI na rheNge| yadi Apako merA vizvAsa na ho to unake ghara hI se isa prathAko calAiye, taba patA laga jaavegaa| kevala kahane mAtrase kucha nahIM hogaa| loga to antaraMgase malina haiM, kevala kautuhala dekhanA cAhate haiN| Apa, aura paNDitoMmeM paraspara zAstrArtha karAkara tamAzA dekhanA cAhate haiN| ApakI jo icchA ho, so kreN| maiM to ApakA hitaiSI huuN| dekho, prathama to Apa brahmacArI haiM, brahmacArI hI nahIM, vidvAn bhI haiM, digambara sampradAyake anuyAyI haiM, pAzcAtya vidyAmeM bhI ApakA acchA jJAna hai, vyAkhyAtA bhI haiM, tathA ApakA samAjameM acchA Adara hai| AzA hai ki Apa isa durAgrahako chor3a ArSavAkyoMkI For Personal & Private Use Only

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paravArasabhAmeM vidhavAvivAhakA prastAva 263 avahelanA na kareMge?' brahmacArIjIne kahA-'cUMki abhI tumheM samAjakI duravasthAkA paricaya nahIM, ataH isa viSayako chor3a viSayAntarakI mImAMsA kiijiye| maiMne mana hI mana vicAra kiyA ki aba isa viSayameM carcA karanA vyartha hai| brahmacArIjIse bhI kahA ki 'ApakI jo icchA ho, so kriye| AzA hai Apa vicArazIla haiM, ataH sahasA koI kArya na kreNge|' .....itanI carcA honeke bAda hama bAIjIke yahA~ Aye aura bhojana kiyaa| itanemeM zrIlokamaNi dAU bhI zAhapurase A gye| yaha sammati huI ki jabalapura aura khuraI samAjako eka-eka tAra diyA jaave| paNDita munnAlAlajIne kahA ki 'cintA mata karo, hama loga bhI vahA~ cleNge| yadyapi vahA~ paravArasabhA hai aura hama golApUrva haiM, ataH usameM bolanekA adhikAra hamAre liye nahIM hai| phira bhI hama janatAmeM ArSa-paddhatike viruddha kadApi vidhavA-vivAhakI vAsanA na hone deveMge, samayakI balihArI haiM ki Aja vidhavA-vivAhakI puSTi karanevAloM kA samudAya banatA jAtA hai| astu, kala hama saba apanI maNDalI sahita Apake sAtha cleNge|' amarAvatIse zrI siMghaI pannAlAlajI bhI A gye| isa taraha hama saba bInA-bArahAke liye calakara devarI phuNce| yaha vaha sthAna hai jahA~ ki zrI premIjIkA janma huA thaa| vahA~ se cha: mIla bInA-bArAhA kSetra hai| rAtrike sAta bajate-bajate vahA~ pahu~ca gye| rAtriko zAstra-pravacana huaa| yahA~ para vidhavAvivAhake poSaka prAyaH bahuta sajjana A gaye the, kevala sAdhAraNa janatA hI virodhameM thii| paravArasabhAkA adhivezana zAnadAra honevAlA thA, parantu sAdhAraNa janatAmeM vidhavAvivAhakI carcA kA prabhAva viruddha rUpameM pdd'aa| rAtriko sabjekTa kameTIkI baiThaka honevAlI thii| merA bhI nAma usameM thA, para maiM nahIM gyaa| sabhApati mahodayane baiThaka sthagita kara dii| dUsare dina svAgatAdhyakSakA prArambhika bhASaNa honevAlA thA, parantu sabhAke na honese unakA bhASaNa bhI raha gyaa| maiMne svAgatAdhyakSase kahA ki Apa apane bhASaNakI eka kApI mujhe de diijiye| inhoMne de dii| maiMne usakA AdyopAnta avalokana kiyaa| usameM bhI vidhavAvivAhakI puSTi hotI thii| maiMne kahA-'siMghaI jI ! Apane yaha kyA anartha kiyA ?' unhoMne kahA-'yaha bhASaNa maiMne nahIM bnaayaa| maiMne kahA-'yaha kauna mAnegA ?' Apako ucita thA ki chapaneke pahale kaccI kApIko eka bAra dekha lete|' Apa bole-'aba kyA ho sakatA hai ?' For Personal & Private Use Only

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264 merI jIvanagAthA jabalapura aura khuraI samAjako tAra diye the, para vahA~se koI nahIM aaye| isase vidhavAvivAhake poSakoMkA pakSa prabala hogA / samAjameM bolanevAloMkI truTi nahIM, parantu samayapara kAma karanevAleM nahIM / paJcamakAla hai / isa samaya adharmakA pakSa puSTa karanevAloMkI bahulatA hotI jAtI hai| madhyAhnake samaya vidhavAvivAha poSaka vyAkhyAna hue / manuSyoMkA jamAva bhI puSkala hotA rhaa| kahA~ taka kahA jAve jo niSedha pakSake the ve bhI samudAyameM sunaneko Ate rhe| rAtrike samaya zrI paM. munnAlAlajI, paMNDita maujIlAlajI va lokamaNi dAUke 'vidhavAvivAha AgamAnukUla nahIM, isa viSaya para sAragarbhita vyAkhyAna hue / maiM to tamAzA dekhanevAloMmeM thA, kyoMki maiM isa viSayameM vizeSajJAna nahIM rakhatA thA / para merA janatAse yahI kahanA thA ki jo Apa logoMke jJAnameM Ave so kriye| 1 rAtriko paravArasabhAkI sabjekTa kameTI huI, maiM bhI gayA / yadyapi vahA~ jitane membara the, usameM adhikAMza vidhavAvivAhake niSedhaka the, kintu bolane meM paTu na the| jo paTu the unameM bahubhAga poSaka pakSa ke the / I dUsare dina AmasabhA huI / janatAkI sammati vidhavAvivAhake niSedha pakSameM thI / yadi prastAva AtA to lar3AI honekI sambhAvanA thI, ataH prastAva na aayaa| kevala brahmacArI zItalaprasAdajIkA vidhipakSameM vyAkhyAna huA / usa pakSavAle prasanna hue| parantu janatAko vyAkhyAna sunakara bahuta duHkha huA / loga mujhase bolanekA Agraha karane lge| maiM khar3A huA, parantu pAnI barasane lagA / maiMne kahA ki 'pAnI A rahA hai, isaliye Apa loga vyAkula hoMge, ataH apanA-apanA sAmAna dekhiye / ' para logoMne kahA ki 'pAnI nahIM patthara bhI baraseM to bhI hama loga ApakA vyAkhyAna sune binA na uttheNge|' antameM lAcAra hokara mujhe bolanA pdd'aa| usa bArisake bIca bhI loga zAntise bhASaNa sunate rahe / antameM adhika varSA honeke kAraNa sabhA bhaMga ho gii| rAtriko sAta bajate-bajate maNDapameM janatA ekatrita ho gii| logoMne brahmacArIjIke bahiSkArakA prastAva pAsa kara ddaalaa| itanemeM brahmacArIjI bar3e Avegake sAtha yaha kahate hue sabhAmaNDapameM Aye ki merA bahiSkAra karanevAlA kauna hai ? janatA uttejita ho utthii| eka AdamI bahuta hI bigar3A / maiMne usakA hAtha pakar3akara use kisI taraha zAnta kiyA / seTha tArAcandrajI bambaIvAle bahuta kucha ruSTa hue / kucha loga brahmacArIjIko samajhAkara unake Derepara le gaye / 1 For Personal & Private Use Only

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paravArasabhAmeM vidhavAvivAhakA prastAva 265 paravArasabhAke isa prakaraNase upasthita janatAmeM kisIko Ananda nahIM huaa| saba khinnacita hokara ghara gaye / kSetra uttama hai| zrI zAntinAtha bhagavAnkI vizAlakAya pratimA hai| eka mandirameM bar3I-bar3I padmAsana pratimAe~ haiN| eka mandira kucha U~cAI dekara banAyA gayA hai| kula tIna mandira haiN| eka choTI-sI dharmazAlA bhI hai| yadi koI dharma-sAdhana kare to saba tarahakI suvidhA hai| paravArasabhA pUrNa ho gii| saba Agantuka mahAzaya cale gye| sabhApati sAhaba antameM gye| hamase ApakA jo sneha pahale thA vahI rahA, parantu parasparameM sambhASaNake samaya vaha bAta na rahI jo pahale thii| saMsArameM manuSyake jo kaSAya utpanna ho jAtI hai usake pUrNa kiye binA use caina nahIM pdd'taa| hamako yaha kaSAya ho gaI ki dekho, ye loga Agama-viruddha upadeza dekara eka jAtiko patita karanekI ceSTA karate haiM, ataH puruSArtha kara ise rokanA cAhiye aura vidhavAvivAhake poSakoMko yaha kaSAya ho gaI ki jaba manuSyako apanI icchAnusAra aneka vivAha karane para rukAvaTa nahIM to vidhavAko dUsarA vivAha karane para kyoM roka lagAI jAve ? Akhira use bhI adhikAra hai| astu, jahA~ para donoM pakSake manuSya paraspara milate haiM vahA~ sAdhAraNa logoMko zAstrArtha dekhanekA avasara mila jAtA hai| duHkha kevala isa bAtakA hai ki loga isa viSayameM siddhAnta-vAkyakI avahelanA kara dete haiN| siddhAntameM to kanyAsaMvaraNako hI vivAhakA lakSaNa likhA hai| vahA~se calakara hama loga sAgara aagye| yahA~para brahmacArajIkA vidhavAvivAha poSaka vyAkhyAna eka baMgAlI vakIlake sabhApatitva meM huaa| hama loga bhI usameM gaye, parantu sabhApatine bolanekA avasara na diyaa| brahmacArIjIne eka vivAha bhI kraayaa| kahA~ taka kaheM ? sAgarameM jo cakarAghATa hai vahIM para yaha kRtya karAyA gyaa| isake bAda sAgarameM eka sabhA huI, jisameM nAnA prakArake vivAda honeke anantara yaha taya huA ki jo vidhavAvivAhameM bhAga le usake sAtha samparka na rakhA jaave| kahanekA tAtparya hai ki aba pratidina zithilAcArakI puSTi hogI, loga Agamaviruddha tarkoMse hI apanA pakSa puSTa kreNge| jo zraddhAlu haiM unakI yahI dRSTi hai ki AgamAnukUla tarka hI pramANabhUta hai aura jo tarkako hI mukhya mAnate haiM unakA yaha kahanA hai ki jo vAkya (Agama) tarkake anukUla hai vahI pramANa hai| astu, yahA~se hama jabalapura gye| vahA~ zrIhanumAnatAla para sabhA huii| usameM bhI For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 266 bahuta kucha vAda-vivAdake bAda yahI nizcaya huA ki paravArasabhAmeM jo vidhavAvivAhakI carcA huI vaha sarvathA hamAre kulake viruddha hai tathA dharmazAstrake pratikUla hai| kheda isa bAtakA hai ki hamAre mAnanIya tahasIladAra sAhabane apane bhASaNameM isakI carcA kara vyartha hI samAjameM kSobha utpanna kara diyaa| hama logoMko aba bhI vizvAsa hai ki tahasIladAra sAhaba aba taka jo huA so huA, para aba bhaviSyameM isa viSayapara taTastha rheNge| yahA~se cala kara hama loga sAgara cale aaye| kucha dina bAda jabalapurameM cavenIke Upara parasparameM manomAlinya honese do pakSa ho gye| eka pakSa sAre pakSake paraspara mahAn virodhI ho gye| bahuta kucha prayatna huA, parantu ApasameM kalaha zAnta na huii| vaMzIdharajI DevaDiyAse merA ghaniSTha sambandha thaa| unhoMne kaI bhAiyoMko bhejA aura sAtha hI eka patra isa AzayakA likhA ki Apa patrake dekhate hI cale aaiye| yahA~ ApasameM atyanta kalaha rahatI hai jo saMbhava hai Apake prayatnase dUra ho jaave| maiM usI dina gAr3ImeM baiThakara jabalapura pahu~ca gayA, rAtriko sabhA huI, tIna ghaNTA vivAda rahA, antameM saba logoMne sarvadAke liye isa prathAko banda kara diyA aura parasparameM premabhAvase mila gaye, kalahakI zAnti ho gaI aura hamAre liye sahajameM yaza mila gyaa| isa kalahAgnike zAnta karanekA zreya zrIsiMghaI garIbadAsajI, vaMzIdharajI Devar3iyA, zrI siMghaI maujIlAlajI narasiMhapuravAle tathA ballU, bar3akurako hI milanA cAhiye, kyoMki unake parizrama aura sadbhAvanAse hI vaha zAnta ho sakI thii| papaurA aura ahArakSetra yaha vahI papaurA hai jahA~ para svargIya zrImotIlAlajI varNIne athaka parizrama kara eka vIra vidyAlaya sthApita kiyA thaa| isa vidyAlayameM sthAyI dravyakA abhAva thA, phira bhI zrI varNI motIlAlajI kevala apane puruSArthake dvArA pA~ca sau rupayA mAsika vyaya juTAkara isakI Ajanma rakSA karate rhe| isa vidyAlaya kI sthApanAmeM zrImAn paNDita nanhelAlajI pratiSThAcArya TIkamagar3ha aura zrImAn svargIya darayAvalAlajI kaTharayAkA pUrNa sahayoga rhaa| isa prAntameM aise vidyAlayakI mahatI AvazyakatA thii| zrI varNIjIne apanA sarvasva vidyAlayako de diyaa| ApakA jo sarasvatIbhavana thA vaha bhI Apane vidyAlayako pradAna kara diyaa| Apa vidyAlayakI unnatike liye aharniza vyasta rahate the| prAntameM dhanika varga bhI bahuta haiM, parantu unake dvArA vidyAlayako yatheSTa sahAyatA kabhI For Personal & Private Use Only

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papaurA aura ahArakSetra 267 nahIM milii| varNIjI pratiSThAcArya bhI the, isase pratyeka prAntameM bhramaNa karanekA avasara Apako milatA rahatA thA / isa kAryameM Apako jo Aya hotI thI usIse pA~casau rupayA mAsikakI pUrti karate the / inheM jitanA dhanyavAda diyA jAve thor3A hai| maiM to Apako apanA bar3A bhAI mAnatA thA / ApakA mere Upara putravat sneha rahatA thaa| hama logoMkA bahuta samaya se paricaya thA / prArambha meM vIra vidyAlayake suyogya mantrI zrImAn paM. ThAkuradAsajI bI.e. the / Apa sarakArI skUlameM kAma karate hue bhI nirantara vidyAlayakI rakSAmeM vyasta rahate the| Apake prayatnase vidyAlayake lie eka bhavya bhavana bana gayA, jo ki borDiMgase pRthak haiN| yahI nahIM, sarasvatI bhavanakA nirmANa Adi aneka kArya Apake dvArA sampanna hue haiN| Apa chAtroMke adhyayanapara nirantara dRSTi rakhate the / 'chAtra vyutpanna hoM' isa viSayameM ApakI vizeSa dRSTi rahatI thI / Apake dvArA kevala vidyAlayakI unnati nahIM huI, kSetrakI bhI vyavasthA sucArurUpase cala rahI hai| jo jIrNa mandira the unakA bhI Apane uddhAra karAyA tathA bhoharemeM a~dherA rahatA thA use bhI Apane sudharAyA / ApakI buddhi bar3I tIkSNa hai| Apa nirantara dharmakI rakSAmeM prayatnazIla rahate haiN| Apa aMgrejI bhASA ke sAtha-sAtha saMskRtake bhI acche vidvAn haiN| vidvAn hI nahIM, sadAcArI bhI haiN| sadAcArI hI nahIM, sadAcArake pracAraka bhI haiN| Apa yadi kisI chAtrameM sadAcArakI truTi pAte the to use vidyAlayase pRthak karanemeM saMkoca nahIM karate the| varSoM taka Apane mantrIkA pada sa~bhAlA, para aba kaI kAraNoMse Apane mantrI padakA kArya chor3a diyA hai| phira bhI vidyAlayase aruci nahIM hai / isa samaya vidyAlayake mantrI zrI khunnIlAlajI bhadaurAvAle haiN| Apa bhI bahuta suyogya vyakti haiN| jisa prakAra vidyAlaya varNI motIlAlajIke samakSa calatA thA, usI prakAra calA rahe haiN| ApakA kuTumba sampanna hai / Apa bhI sampanna haiN| rAjya ke pramukha vyApArI haiN| sAthameM jJAnI aura sadAcArI bhI haiM / vidyAlayakI unnatimeM nirantara prayatnazIla rahate haiN| Apake prayatnase kucha sthAyI dravya bhI ho gayA hai / ApakI bhAvanA hai ki kama-se-kama vidyAlayameM eka lAkha rupayAkA sthAyI dravya ho jAve aura sau chAtra adhyayana kareM / rAjyakI sahAyatAse yaha kArya anAyAsa ho sakatA hai / isa prAntakI janatA vidyAdAnameM bahuta kama dravya vyaya karatI hai / yadyapi yahA~ke mahArAja vidyAke pUrNa rasika haiM aura jabase Apane rAjyakI bAgaDora hAthameM lI hai tabase zikSAmeM bahuta sudhAra hue haiN| phira bhI janatAke sahayogake binA ekAkI mahArAja kyA kara sakate haiM ? For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 268 itane para bhI hameM AzA hai ki hamAre mantrIjIkI AzA zIghra hI saphalIbhUta hogii| zrI varNIjIne kevala yahI vidyAlaya sthApita nahIM kiyA thaa| kintu apanI janma-nagarI jatArAmeM bhI tIna hajArakI lAgata kA eka makAna banavAkara vahA~ kI pAThazAlAke lie arpita kara diyA thaa| yadyapi Apa mere sAtha girirAjapara rahanekA nizcaya kara cuke the aura kucha samaya taka vahA~ rahe bhI, parantu vidyAlayake mohavaza papaurAke liye lauTa Aye aura janmabhUmi jatArAmeM samAdhimaraNakara svarga sidhAra gye| merA dAhinA hAtha bhaMga ho gyaa| mujhe Apake viyogakA bahuta duHkha huaa| papaurA kSetrase dasa mIla pUrvameM ahAra atizayakSetra hai| yahA~ para zrIzAntinAtha svAmIkI atyanta manohara pratimA hai, jisakI zilpakalAko dekhakara Azcarya hotA hai| yahA~ para bhUgarbhameM sahasroM mUrtiyA~ haiM jo bhUmi khodanepara milatI haiN| kintu hama loga usa ora dRSTi nahIM dete| yahA~ Asa-pAsa jaina mahAzaya acchI saMkhyAmeM nivAsa karate haiN| pAsa hI paThA grAma hai| vahA~ ke nivAsI zrI paM. bArelAlajI vaidyarAja kSetrake prabandhaka haiN| Apa bahuta suyogya aura utsAhI kAryakartA haiN| parantu dravyakI pUrNa sahAyatA na honese zanaiH zanaiH kArya hotA hai| yahA~ para eka choTI-sI dharmazAlA bhI hai| mandirase AdhA pharlAga para ahAra nAmaka grAma hai tathA eka bar3A bhArI sarovara hai| grAmameM 5 ghara jainiyoMke haiM jinakI sthiti sAdhAraNa hai| yahA~se tIna mIla para vaisA gA~va hai jahA~ jainiyoM ke kaI ghara haiN| do ghara sampanna bhI haiM, parantu unakI dRSTi kSetrakI ora jaisI cAhiye vaisI nhiiN| anyathA ve cAhate to akele hI kSetrakA uddhAra kara sakate the| maiMne yahA~ para kSetrakI unnatike liye eka choTe vidyAlayakI AvazyakatA smjhii| logoMse khaa| logoMne utsAhake sAtha candA dekara zrIzAntinAtha vidyAlaya sthApita kara diyaa| paM. premacandrajI zAstrI teMdUkher3AvAle usameM adhyApaka haiM, jo bar3e santoSI jIva haiN| eka chAtrAlaya bhI sAthameM hai parantu dhanakI truTise vidyAlaya vizeSa unnati nahIM kara skaa| rUr3hiyoMkI rAjadhAnI yaha eka aisA prAnta hai jahA~ jJAnake sAdhana nhiiN| bar3I kaThinatAse dasa pratizata sAdhAraNa nAgarI jAnanevAle mileNge| yahI kAraNa hai ki yahA~ke manuSya For Personal & Private Use Only

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rUDhiyoMkI rAjadhAnI 269 bahuta-sI rUr3hiyoMse saMtrasta haiN| maiM prAyaH do varSa taka paidala bhramaNakara una rUr3hiyoMko miTAnekA prayatna karatA rahA, phira bhI niHzeSa nahIM kara skaa| vahA~kI rUr3hiyoMke kucha udAharaNa dekhiye-'eka vaMjArIpurA gA~va hai| vahA~ eka bur3hiyA mA~ mandirameM darzana karaneke liye gaI thii| vahA~ usake jAneke pahale hI daivavaza Uparase eka aMDA girakara phUTa gayA thaa| usa bur3hiyAke bAlaka se eka dUsare jainI mahAzayakA virodha thaa| unhoMne jhaTa paMcAyatako bulAyA aura prastAva rakkhA ki bur3hiyAne aMDA phor3a DAlA hai| bur3hI mA~ satyavAdinI thii| usane kahA-'beTA ! merA paira avazya par3A thA, parantu aNDA na thA usakA chilakA thaa|' paJcoMne eka na sunI aura use hatyA lagA dii| hatyA karanevAle ko jo kRtya karane par3ate haiM ve saba bur3hiyAke bAlakako karane pdd'e| prathama to mandirake darzana banda kiye gaye, cAra mAsa bAda usakI phira paJcAyata kI gaI, dehAtake paJca bulAye gye| sabane Akara yaha nirNaya diyA ki amuka tithiko inakA milaunA kiyA jaave| eka paMgata pakkI aura eka kaccI deveN| isake pahale kisI siddhakSetrakI vandanA kareM, 51) mandirako daNDa deveM aura jaba kisIke vivAhameM cala jAveM taba vivAhameM bulAye jAveM / ina saba kAryoM meM bur3hiyAke pA~ca sau miTa gye| eka isase bhI vilakSaNa nyAya eka gA~vameM sunanemeM aayaa| 'eka digaur3A gA~va hai| vahI digaur3A, jahA~ ki paM. devIdAsajIkA janma huA thaa| yahA~ para eka jainI mahAzayakA ghor3A caraneke liye gA~vake bAhara gyaa| vahIM para eka dUsare jainI mahAzayakA ghor3A caratA thA, jo pahale ghor3ekI apekSA durbala thaa| daivayogase una donoMmeM paraspara lar3AI ho gii| baliSTha ghor3ene durbala ghor3eko itane jorase TA~geM mArI ki usakA prANAnta ho gyaa| loga cillAte hue Aye ki amukake ghor3ene amakake ghor3eko itane jorase TA~geM mArI ki vaha mara gyaa| jisakA ghor3A mara gayA thA vaha rone lagA, kyoMki usIke dvArA usakI AjIvikA calatI thii| usane zAmako grAmapaJcoMse prArthanA kI ki amukake ghor3ene hamArA ghor3A mAra diyaa| maiM garIba AdamI huuN| yahI ghor3A hamArI AjIvikAkA sAdhana thaa| jisake ghor3ene mArA thA vaha bhI bulAyA gyaa| paJcAyata zurU huii| anta meM yaha phaisalA huA ki jisakA ghor3A durbala thA usako AjJA dI gaI ki tumane itanA durbala ghor3A kyoM rakkhA jo ki ghor3e kI TApase hI mara gayA, ataH tumhArA mandira banda kiyA jAtA hai| tuma siddha kSetrakI vandanA kro| pazcAt For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 270 eka mAsa bAda gA~vake paJcoMko eka dina pakkA aura eka dina kaccA bhojana karAo tathA gyAraha rupayA mandirako do| jisake ghor3Ane mArA thA usase kahA gayA ki tumane apanA ghor3A itanA baliSTa kyoM banAyA ki usakI TApase dUsarA ghor3A mara gayA, ataH tumheM do mAsa taka mandira banda kiyA jAtA hai; pazcAt eka pakkI aura eka kaccI paMgata gA~vake paJcoMko do, pandraha rupayA mandirako do aura jisakA ghor3A mara gayA hai use eka sAdhAraNa ghor3A le do| aise hI eka gA~vameM aura gyaa| vahA~ eka jaina vaidya rahatA thA jo bar3A dayAlu thaa| kisIse kucha nahIM letA thaa| isI gA~vameM eka sonI vaidya bhI rahatA thA, jo ki jainI vaidyase bahuta DAha rakhatA thaa| DAha rakhanekA kAraNa yaha thA ki yaha davA karake rupayA letA thA aura jainI vaidya kucha bhI nahIM letA thA, isIlie loga adhikAMza jainI vaidyake pAsa hI jAte the aura isase usa sonI vaidya kI AjIvikAmeM antara par3atA thaa| eka dina jainI vaidyako ghor3Ike dUdhakI AvazyakatA huii| sonI vaidyake ghor3I thI, ataH vaha usake pAsa jAkara bolA ki ghor3I kA dUdha caahiye| usane kahA-hamArI ghor3I hai, khuzIse le jAiye / vaha le AyA / daivayogase pandraha dina bAda ghor3I mara gii| phira kyA thA sonI vaidyane paJcoMse kahA ki Apake jainI vaidyake sAtha hamane to acchA vyavahAra kiyA ki unheM ghor3Ike dUdhakI AvazyakatA thI, maiMne le jAne kI anumati de dii| para ye na jAne kyA kara gaye, jisase hamArI ghor3I usI dinase bImAra ho gaI aura Aja mara bhI gii| paccIsa rupayAkI hogI, ataH inase rupaye dilAye jAveM yA vaisI hI ghor3I dilAI jaave| paJcoMne AnupUrvI phaisalA kara diyA aura kahA ki na jAne tumane ghor3Iko kyA khilA diyA jisase ki vaha mara gii| cUMki isameM tumhArA aparAdha siddha hai, ataH tumhAre Upara paccIsa rupayA jurmAnA kiyA jAtA hai| yaha rupayA sonIko diyA jaave| tumheM tIna mAsa taka mandira banda hai| pazcAta tIrtha vandanA karake Ao aura eka pakkI tathA eka kaccI paMgata gA~vake paJcoMko do|' ......isa prakAra isa prAntameM aise aneka niraparAdha prANiyoMko satAyA jAtA hai| jisakA mUla kAraNa avidyA hI hai parantu isa ora na to koI dhanADhya hI haiM aura na koI vizeSa vidvAn hI, jo isa truTikI pUrti kara skeN| yadi koI dayAlu mahAnubhAva eka aisA vidyAlaya isa prAntameM kholeM, jisameM For Personal & Private Use Only

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baruAsAgara 271 adhika nahIM to sAdhAraNa hindIkA hI jJAna ho jAve / yahA~ pA~ca sau rupayAmeM sau chAtra sAnanda adhyayana kara sakate haiN| yadi isa prAntako rUr3hiyoMkI rAjadhAnI kaheM to atyukti na hogii| baruAsAgara yahA~se baruAsAgara gyaa| vahA~ eka vidyAlaya hai| svargIya sarrApha mUlacandrajIne gA~vake bAhara sTezanake nikaTa eka pahAr3Ipara isakI sthApanA kI hai| eka ora mahAn sarovara hai aura dUsarI ora aTavI, jisase prAkRtika suSamA bikhara par3I hai| choTA-sA bAjAra hai aura usameM eka caityAlayakA pUrNa prabandha zrImAn bAbU rAmasvarUpajI karate haiN| Apa AgarAke nivAsI haiM pratidina pUjA aura svAdhyAyameM tIna ghaNTA lagAte haiN| vidyAlayakI rakSA Apake hI dvArA ho rahI hai| zrI svargIya mUlacandrajI sarrApha jhA~sImeM pA~ca koThA vidyAlayake liye lagA gaye the, jinakA kirAyA kevala paccIsa rupayA mAsika AtA hai| utanese kAma nahIM calatA, ataH vidyAlayako pUrNa sahAyatAkA bhAra bAbU rAmasvarUpajI para hI A par3A hai aura Apa use saharSa vahana kara rahe haiN| chAtroMke rahaneke liye Apane kaI kamare banavA diye haiN| sAtha hI anya mahAzayoMse bhI banavAye haiN| isa samaya vidyAlayakA vyaya do sau rupayA mAsikase kama nahIM hai| usakI adhikAMza pUrti Apa hI karate haiN| Apake yahA~ zrIyuta durgAprasAdajI brAhmaNa AgarA jilAke rahanevAle bahuta hI suyogya vyakti haiN| pAThazAlAkI sadaiva rakSA karate haiN| Apa hI vidyAlayake adhyakSa haiN| zrImanoharalAlajI zAstrI adhyApaka haiN| Apa bahuta hI suyogya haiN| chAtroMko suyogya vyutpanna banAnekI ceSTAmeM rAta-dina loga rahate haiN| paccIsa chAtra adhyayana karate haiM, parantu prAntavAsiyoMkI isa ora bahuta kama dRSTi rahatI hai| isa prAntameM dhanADhya bhI haiM, parantu paropakArake nAmase bhayabhIta rahate haiN| yadi bahuta udAratA huI to jalavihArotsavakara kRtakRtya ho jAte haiN| yadi prAntavAsI dhyAna de to alpa vyayameM anAyAsa hI bahusaMkhyaka chAtroMkA upakAra ho jAve, para dhyAna honA hI kaThina hai| ____ yahA~kI dehAtameM prAyaH prAyamarI pAThazAlAe~ nahIMke barAbara haiN| prAcInakAlameM pAMDe loga par3hAte the| unheM pUrNimA aura amAvasyAko loga sIdhA de dete the tathA pratimAsa koI do paisA koI cAra paisA nakada de diyA krte| isa taraha unaka nirvAha ho jAtA thA aura gA~vake bAlaka sahajameM par3ha jAte the| jo kucha par3hAte For Personal & Private Use Only

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272 merI jIvanagAthA the, pATIpara par3hAte the tathA lar3ake jo par3hate the use hRdayameM likha lete the pustakakI par3hAI nahIM thI / sAyaMkAlake samaya jo kucha par3hate the use eka lar3akA kaNThastha par3hatA thA aura zeSa lar3ake usIko doharAte the / isa prakAra anAyAsa chAtroMkI yogyatA uttama ho jAtI thI / parantu aba vaha prathA banda ho gaI hai| aba to kevala paisekI vidyA raha gaI hai / pahale chAtroMko gurumeM bhakti rahatI thI / guruke caraNoMmeM mastaka navAkara chAtra gurukA abhivAdana karate the, para Aja bahuta huA to mastakase hAtha lagA kara guruko praNAma karanekI paddhati raha gaI hai| phala usakA yaha hai ki dhIredhIre vinaya guNakA lopa ho gayA / prAcIna paddhatike abhAvameM bhAratakI jo durdazA ho rahI hai vaha sabako vidita hai / yahA~se cala kara phira sAgara Agaye aura dekhakara santuSTa hue ki pAThazAlAkI vyavasthA ThIka cala rahI hai / yahA~ ke kAryakartA aura samAjake logoMmeM maiMne eka bAta dekhI ki ve apanA uttaradAyitva pUrNarUpase sa~bhAlate haiN| bAIjIkA sarvasva samarpaNa eka bAra maiM banArasa vidyAlayake liye bAIjIke nAmase eka hajAra rupayA likhA AyA, para bhayake kAraNa bAIjIse kahA nahIM / bAIjI mujhe ATha dinameM tIna rupayA phala khAneke liye detIM thIM, maiM phala na khAkara una rupayoMko posTa AphisameM jamA karAne lagA / eka dina bAIjIne pUchA- bhaiyA phala nahIM lAte ? maiMne kaha diyA- 'Aja kala bAjArameM acche phala nahIM aate|' bAIjI ne kahA- 'acchaa|' eka dina bAIjI bar3e bAjAra gii| jaba lauTakara A rahIM thIM taba mArgameM phalavAle saphIkI dukAna mila gii| bAIjIne saphIse kahA- 'kyoM saphI ! bhaiyAko phala nahIM dete ?' saphIne kahA- 'vaha dUrase rAstA kATakara nikala jAte haiM / ' bAIjIne do rupayAke phala lie aura dharmazAlAmeM Akara mujhase kahA-'yaha phala saphIne diye haiM para tuma kahate the ki acche phala nahIM Ate, yaha mithyA vyavahAra acchA nhiiN|' itanemeM hI vahA~ par3I huI posTa AphisakI pustakapara unakI dRSTi jA pdd'ii| unhoMne pUchA- 'yaha kaisI pustaka hai ?' maiM cupa raha gayA / vahA~ DAkapIna khar3A thaa| usane kahA- 'yaha DAkakhAnemeM rupayA jamA karAne kI pustaka hai|' bAIjIne kahA- 'kitane rupaye jamA haiM ?' vaha bolA- 'paccIsa For Personal & Private Use Only

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bAIjIkA sarvasva samarpaNa 273 rupye|' bAIjI bolIM-'hama to phalake liye dete the aura tuma DAkakhAnemeM jamA karate ho, isakA artha hamArI samajhameM nahIM aataa| maiMne kahA-'maiMne banArasa vidyAlayake liye Apake nAmase eka hajAra rupaye diye haiM, unheM adA karanA hai|' bAIjIne kahA-'isa prakAra kaba taka adA hoMge?' maiM cupa raha gyaa| vaha kahatI rahIM ki 'jisa dina diye usI dina denA ucita thaa| dAnakI rakama hai vaha to RNa hai| pA~ca rupayA mAsika usakA byAja huaa| tumheM dasa rupayA mAsika hI to detI huuN| inase kisa prakAra adA karoge? jaba tumheM hamArA bhaya thA taba dAna denekI kyA AvazyakatA thI? jo huA, so huA, abhI jAo aura eka hajAra rupayA Aja hI bheja do|' __maiM saba sunatA rahA; bAIjIne yaha Adeza diyA ki 'dAnakI rakamako pahale do, pIche nAma likhAo / dAna denA uttama hai, parantu dete samaya pariNAmameM utsAha rhe| vaha utsAha hI kalyANakA bIja hai| dAnameM lobhakA tyAga honA caahiye| 'svaparAnugrahArtha svasyAtisarge dAnam' apanA aura parakA anugraha karaneke liye jo dhanakA tyAga kiyA jAtA hai vahI dAna kahalAtA hai| deneke samaya hamAre yaha bhAva rahate haiM ki isase parakA upakAra ho arthAt jaba hama vratIko dAna dete haiM taba hamAre yaha bhAva hote haiM ki isake dvArA inakA zarIra sthira rahegA aura usa zarIrase yaha mokSamArgakA sAdhana kreNge| yadyapi mokSamArga AtmAke guNoMke nirmala vikAsase hotA hai tathApi zarIra usameM nimitta kAraNa hai| jaise vRddha manuSya apane pairoMse calatA hai parantu usameM yaSTi sahakArI kAraNa hotI hai| athavA jaba netra nirbala ho jAte haiM taba cazmAke dvArA manuSya dekhatA hai| yadyapi dekhanevAlA netra hI hai to bhI cazmA sahakArI kAraNa hai| dAna dene meM parakA yahI upakAra haA ki jJAnAdike nimitta kAraNoMmeM sthiratA lA skaa| parantu paramArthase denevAlekA mahAn upakAra huaa| vaha isa prakAra ki dAna deneke pahale lobhakaSAyakI tIvratAse isa jIvake parapadArthake grahaNa karanekA bhAva thA, parantu dAna dete samaya AtmaguNaghAtaka lobhakA nirAsa huaa| lobhake abhAvameM AtmAke cAritraguNakA vikAsa huA aura cAritraguNakA AMzika vikAsa honese mokSamArgakI AMzika vRddhi huii| ataH dAna deneke bhAva jisa samaya hoM usI samaya usa dravyako pRthak kara denA ucita hai| tatkAla na denese mahAn anarthakI sambhAvanA hai| kalpanA karo Aja to sAtodayase tumhAre pAsa dravya hai| yadi kala asAtodaya A jAve aura tuma svayaM daridrI hokara For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 274 parakI AzA karane lago to datta dravyako kahA~ se cukAoge ? athavA kala yaha bhAva ho jAve ki kisa cakrameM pha~sa gaye ? isa saMsthAse acchA kAma nahIM calatA, bar3I avyavasthA hai; ataH yahA~ dAna denA ThIka nahIM thA Adi nAnA asatkalpanAe~ hone lageM to unase kevala pApabandha hI hogaa| isaliye jisa samaya dAna deneke bhAva hoM usa samaya samyak vicAra kara bolo aura bolaneke pahale de do, yahI sarvottama mArga hai| yadi bolate samaya na de sako to ghara Akara bheja do| kala ke liye usa rakamako gharameM na rkkho| yaha hamArA abhiprAya hai so tumase kaha diyaa| aba Ageke liye hamAre pAsa jo kucha hai vaha saba tumheM detI huuN| tumhArI jo icchA ho, so kro| bhayase mata kro| Ajase hamane isa dravyase mamatA tyAga dii| hA~, itanA karanA ki yaha lalitAbAI, jo ki tIsa varSase hamAre pAsa hai, yadi apane sAtha na rahe, to pA~ca sau rupaye kA sonA aura pandraha sau rupaye ise de denA tathA do sau rupaye simarA ke mandirako bheja denaa| aba vizeSa kucha nahIM kahanA caahtii|' bAIjIke isa sarvasva samarpaNase merA hRdaya gadgada ho gayA aura maiM uThakara bAhara calA gyaa| baNDAkI do vArtAe~ eka bAra sAgarameM plega par3a gayA, hama loga baNDA cale gaye, sAthameM pAThazAlA bhI lete gye| usa samaya zrImAn paM. dIpacandrajI varNI pAThazAlAke supariTenDenTa the, ataH ve bhI gaye aura unakI mA~ bhii| dIpacandrajIke sAtha hamArA ghaniSTha sambandha thaa| ApakA prabandha sarAhanIya thaa| eka dinakI bAta hai-eka lakar3I becanevAlI AI, usakI lakar3I cAra AnemeM ThaharAI, mere pAsa aThannI thI, maiMne use dete hue kahA ki 'cAra AnA vApisa de de| usane kahA-'mere pAsa paisA nahIM hai| maiMne socA-'kauna bAjAra lene jAve, acchA ATha AnA hI le jaa| vaha jAne lagI, usake zarIrapara jo dhotI thI vaha bahuta phaTI thii| maiMne usase kahA-'Thahara jaa| vaha Thahara gii| maiM Upara gyaa| vahA~ bAIjIkI roTI banAnekI dhotI sUkha rahI thI, maiM use lAyA aura vahIM para cAra sera gehU~ rakkhe the, unheM bhI letA aayaa| nIce Akara vaha dhotI aura gehU~ donoM hI maiMne usa lakar3IvAlIko de diye| zrIdIpacandrajIne dekha liyaa| maiMne kahA-'Apa bAIjIse na khnaa| ve ha~sa gye| itanemeM bAIjI mandirase A gaIM aura Upara giiN| cUlhA sulagA kara dhotI badalaneke liye jyoM hI chata para gaIM tyoM hI dhotI nadArata dekhii| hamase For Personal & Private Use Only

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puNya-parIkSA 275 pUchane lagIM-'bhaiyA ! dhotI kahA~ gaI ?' maiMne kahA-'bAIjI ! mujhe patA nahIM-yaha kahate hue mujhe kucha ha~sI aayii| aba bAIjIne dIpacandrajIse pUchA-'acchA tuma batAo, kahA~ gaI ?' unhoMne kaha diyA ki 'varNIjIne dhotI aura cAra sera gehU~ lakar3I becanevAlIko de diye|' bAIjI khuza hokara kahane lagI ki 'dhotI denekA raJja nahIM, kintu dUsarI de dete, gehU~ bhI dUsare de dete| aba jaba dhotI sUkhegI taba roTI banegI, bhojanameM vilamba hogaa| bhUkhA rahanA pdd'egaa| maiMne kahA-'bAIjI ! ApakA kahanA bahuta ucita hai parantu maiM paryAyabuddhi huuN| jisa samaya mere sAmane jo upasthita ho jAtA hai vahI kara baiThatA huuN| eka dina zrIsunU zAhake yahA~ bhojanake lie gyaa| unhoMne bar3e snehase bhojana kraayaa| unakI strIkA mujhase bar3A sneha thA / vaha bolI-'do rupaye lete jAiye aura khAne ke lie sAgarase phala ma~gA liijiye|' maiM bhojana kara calane lgaa| itanemeM eka bhikSuka roTI mA~gatA huA sAmane A gyaa| maiMne use do rupaye de diye / itanemeM sunU zAha A gye| unhoMne bhikSukako do rupayA dete hue dekha liyA .......yaha dekhakara ve itane prasanna hue ki maiM vahA~se calakara cAra mAsa nainAgirimeM rahA, jisakA pUrA vyaya unhoMne diyaa| puNya-parIkSA eka dinakI bAta hai saba loga nainAgirameM dharmacarcA kara rahe the| mainAsundarI AdikI kathA bhI prakaraNameM A gii| eka bolA-'varNIjIkA puNya acchA hai, ve jo cAheM ho sakatA hai| eka bolA-'ina gappoMmeM kyA rakkhA hai ? inakA puNya acchA hai yaha to taba jAneM jaba inheM Aja bhojanameM aMgUra mila jaaveN|' nainAgirameM aMgUra milanA kitanI kaThina bAta hai ? maiMne kahA-'maiM to puNyazAlI nahIM parantu puNyAtmA jIvoMko sarvatra saba vastue~ sulabha rahatI haiN|' vaha bolA-'sAmAnya bAta chor3iye, ApakI bAta ho rahI hai| yadi Apa puNyazAlI haiM to Apako bhojanameM aMgUra mila jaaveN| yoM to jagatmeM cAhe jisako jo cAhe kaha do| maiM to Apako puNyAtmA tabhI mAnUMgA jaba Aja Apako abhI aMgUra mila jaaveNge| maiMne kahA-'yadi mere palle puNya haiM to kauna-sI bar3I bAta hai ?' vaha bolA-'bAtoMmeM kyA rakkhA hai ?' maiMne kahA-'bAta hI se to yaha kathA ho rahI hai|' eka bolA-'acchA, isameM kyA rakkhA hai| saba loga bhojanake lie calo, puNyaparIkSA phira ho legii|' ha~sate-ha~sate saba loga bhojanake liye baiThe hI the ki itanemeM dillIse ayodhyAprasAdajI dalAla sAgara hote hue nainAgira A pahu~ce For Personal & Private Use Only

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276 merI jIvanagAthA aura Ate hI kahane lage- 'varNIjI ! bhojana to nahIM kara liye, maiM tAjA aMgUra lAyA huuN|' saba ha~sane lge| usa dinake bhojanameM sabase pahalA bhojana unhIMke aMgUroMkA huA / yaha ghaTanA dekhakara sabako bar3A Azcarya huA / isase yaha siddha hotA hai ki jo bhavitavya hai vaha durnivAra hai / apanI bhUla nainAgirase calakara sAgara A gayA / yahA~ eka dina bAjAra jAte samaya eka gAr3I lakar3IkI milii| maiMne usake mAlikase pUchA- 'kitanemeM doge ?' vaha bolA- 'paune tIna rupayAmeM / ' maiMne kahA- 'ThIka ThIka kho|' vaha bolA- 'ThIka kyA kaheM ? do dina bailoMko mArate haiM, hama pRthak parizrama karate haiM, itanepara bhI saberese ghUma rahe haiM, dopahara ho gaye, abhI taka kucha khAyA nahIM, phira bhI loga paune do rupayAse adhika nahIM lgaate| maiMne kahA- 'acchA cale calo, paune tIna rupayA hI deveNge|' vaha khuzIse kaTarAkI dharmazAlAmeM gAr3IkI lakar3I rakhane lgaa| maiMne kahA- "kATakara rakkho / ' vaha bolA- 'kATaneke do AnA aura do / ' maiMne kahA- 'hamane paune tIna rupayA diye / saca kaho kyA paune tIna rupayAkI gAr3I hai|' vaha bolA- 'nahIM, paune do rupayAse adhikakI nahIM, parantu Apane paune tIna rupayAmeM ThaharA lI, isameM merA kauna-sA aparAdha hai ? Apane usa samaya yaha to nahIM kahA thA ki kATanA pdd'egaa| maiMne kahA - 'nhiiN|' vaha bolA- 'taba do AnA ke lie kyoM beImAnI karate ho, maiM ekadama bolA- 'acchA nahIM kATanA cAhatA hai to calA jA, mujhe nahIM caahiye|' vaha bolA- 'ApakI icchaa| maiM to kATakara rakhe detA hU~, para Apa apanI bhUla para pachatAoge / parantu yaha saMsAra hai, bhUloMkA ghara hai / ' antameM usane lakar3I kATakara rakha dii| maiMne paune tIna rupayA use de diyA / vaha calA gyaa| jaba maiM bhojana karaneke lie baiThA / Adhe bhojanake bAda mujhe apanI bhUla yAda aaii| maiMne ekadama bhojanako chor3a hAtha dho lie / bAIjIne kahA- 'beTA ! antarAya ho gayA ?' maiMne kahA - 'nahIM ! lakar3IvAlekI saba kathA sunaaii| bAIjIne kahA- 'tumane bar3I galatI kI jaba paune do rupayAke sthAnapara paune tIna rupayA die taba do AnA aura de detA / ' antameM eka sera pakvAnna aura do AnA lekara claa| do mIla calaneke bAda vaha gAr3IvAlA milaa| maiMne use do Ane aura pakvAnna diyA / vaha khuza huaa| mujhe AzIrvAda detA huA bolA- 'dekho, jo kAma karo, vivekase karo / Apane paune do rupayeke sthAnameM paune tIna rupayA diye, yaha bhUla kii| paune do For Personal & Private Use Only

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billIkI samAdhi 277 rupayA hI denA the| yadi merA upakAra karanA thA to eka rupayA svatantra dete tathA do AnAke lie beImAna na bananA pdd'taa| aba bhaviSya meM aisI bhUla na krnaa| jitanA sukha Apako eka rupayA denekA nahIM huA utanA duHkha isa do AnAkI bhUlakA hogaa| vyavahArameM yathArtha buddhise kAma lo| yoM hI AvegameM Akara na ThagA jAo tathA dAnakI paddhatimeM yogya-ayogyakA vicAra avazya rkkho| AzA hai aba aisI bhUla na kroge|' billIkI samAdhi sAgarakI hI ghaTanA hai| hama jisa dharmazAlAmeM rahate the usameM eka billIkA baccA thaa| usakI mA~ mara gii| maiM bacceko dUdha pilAne lgaa| bAIjI bolIM-'yaha hiMsaka jantu hai| ise mata paalo|' maiM bolA-'isakI mA~ mara gaI, ataH dUdha pilA detA huuN| kyA anartha karatA hU~ ?' bAIjI bolii|-'prthm to tuma AgamakI AjJAke viruddha kAma karate ho| dUsare saMsAra hai| tuma kisa-kisa kI rakSA karoge?' maiM nahIM maanaa| use dUdha pilAtA rhaa| jaba vaha cAra mAsakA huA taba eka dina usane eka choTAsA cUhA pakar3a liyaa| maiMne haracanda koziza kI ki vaha cUheko chor3a deve para usane na chodd'aa| maiMne use bahuta DaravAyA, para vaha cUhA khA gyaa| isa ghaTanAse, jaba maiM AtA thA vaha Darakara bhAga jAtA thA, paraMtu jaba bAIjI bhojana karatI thIM taba vaha A jAtA thA aura jaba taka bAIjI use dUdha roTI na detI taba taka nahIM bhAgatA thaa| bAIjIse usakA atyanta paricaya ho gyaa| jaba bAIjI baruAsAgara yA kahIM anyatra jAtI thIM taba vaha eka dina pahalese bhojana chor3a detA thA aura jaba tAMgA para baiThakara sTezana jAtI thIM taba vaha vahIM khar3A rahatA thaa| tAMgA jAneke bAda hI vaha dharmazAlA chor3a detA thA aura jaba bAIjI A jAtI thIM taba punaH A jAtA thaa| antameM jaba vaha bImAra huA taba do dina taka usane kucha bhI nahIM liyA aura bAIjI ke dvArA namaskAramantrakA zravaNa karate hue usane prANavisarjana kiyaa| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki pazu bhI zubha nimitta pAkara zubha gatike pAtra ho jAte haiM, manuSyoMkI kathA kauna kahe ? bAIjIkI hAjirajavAbI bAIjIkI vilakSaNa pratibhA thii| unheM tatkAla uttara sUjhatA thaa| eka For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 278 dinakI bAta hai-kaTarA bAjArake mandirameM pAThazAlAke bhojanakI apIla huii| eka dinakA bhojana kharca dasa rupayA thaa| bahuta logoMne eka-eka dinakA bhojana likhaayaa| maiMne bhI bAIjIke nAmase likhA diyaa| eka bolA ki 'bAIjI Apa bhI varNIjIke nAmase eka dinakA bhojana likhA do|' bAIjIne kahA-'acchA hai, parantu Apa loga bhI isIke anukUla likhA do| loga ha~sa pdd'e| eka bAra zrImAn siMghaI kundanalAlajIke sarasvatIbhavanakI pratiSThA thii| pratiSThAcAryane keleke stambha dvArapara lagavAye, Amake pattoMke bandhanamAla ba~dhavAye aura ghamaloMmeM yavake aMkara niklvaaye| siMghaIjI bole-'bAIjI ! bar3I hiMsA hotI hai| dharmake kAryameM to aisA nahIM honA caahiye|' bAIjIne kahA'bhaiyA ! pratiSThAcAryase puucho|' siMghaIjIne kahA-'hama to Apase pUchate haiN|' bAIjIne kahA-'bhaiyA ! maMgalakArya hai| usameM maMgalake lie yaha saba kiyA jAtA hai| siMghaIjIko saMtoSa na huaa| ve phira bhI bole-'yadi yaha saba na karAyA jAtA to|' bAIjIne ha~sakara uttara diyA-- 'bhaiyA ! jaba AsaujameM gallA becate ho aura usameM TukaniyoM tirUle Adi jIva nikalate haiM taba unakA kyA karate ho ? Arambhake kAryoM meM trasajIvoMkI rakSA na ho aura mAMgalika kArya meM ekendriya jIvakI rakSAkI bAta kro| jaba tumhAre ArambhatyAga ho jAvegA taba tumheM mandira banAnekA koI upadeza na kregaa| yaha tumhArA doSa nahIM, svAdhyAya na karanekA hI phala hai| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki ve samayapara ucita uttara denese na cUkatI thiiN| vyavasthApriya bAIjI bAIjIko avyavasthA jarA bhI pasanda na thii| ve apanA pratyeka kArya vyavasthita rakhatI thiiN| pratyeka vastu yathAsthAna rakhatI thiiN| ApakI sadA yaha AjJA rahatI thI ki likhA huA koI bhI patra kUr3AmeM na DAlA jAve tathA jahA~ taka ho pustakoMkI vinaya kI jaave| cAhe chapI pustaka ho, cAhe likhI, vinaya-pUrvaka Upara hI rakhanA caahiye| eka dinakI bAta hai| Apa mandirase A rahI thiiN| dharmazAlAke kUr3AgRhameM unheM eka kAgaja mila gyaa| usameM bhaktAmarakA zloka thaa| bAIjIne lalitAko bahuta DA~TA-'kyoM rI ! ise kyoM jhAr3A ?' vaha uttara dene lagI-'varNIjIse kaho ki ve kyo aisA karate haiM ? bAIjIne mujhase bhI kahA ki 'maiMne sau bAra tumase kahA ki aisI bhUla mata karo, cAhe gajaTa ma~gAnA banda kara do| maiM cupa ho For Personal & Private Use Only

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vyavasthApriya bAIjI 279 gyaa| bAIjIne lalitAkA sira pakar3A aura bhItameM apanA hAtha lagAkara vegase paTakA, parantu usako raMjamAtra bhI coTa na AI, kyoMki unhoMne hAtha lagA liyA thaa| maiM bAIjIkI isa vivekapUrNa sajAko dekhakara ha~sa pdd'aa| __ bAIjIkI prakRti atyanta saumya thii| unheM krodhakI mAtrAkA leza bhI na thaa| kaisA hI uddaNDa manuSya kyoM na Ave, unake samakSa namra hI ho jAtA thaa| bAIjI jitanI zAnta thIM, utanI hI udAra thiiN| maiM jahA~ taka jAnatA hU~ unakI prakRti atyanta ucca thii| eka bAra maiMne banArasase bAIjIko likhA ki 'pItalake bartanoMmeM khaTAIke padArtha vikRta ho jAte haiN|' Apane uttara likhA ki cA~dI ke bartana jitane Avazyaka samajho banavA lo|' ___maiMne eka thAlI eka sau tIsa rupayA bhara, eka bhagauniyA~ sau rupayA bhara, eka glAsa bIsa rupayA bhara, do camacI dasa rupayA bhara, eka kaToradAna assI rupayA bhara aura eka loTA assI rupayA bhara banavA liyaa| jaba banakara Aye taba vicAra kiyA ki yadi inheM upayogameM lAU~gA to inakI sundaratA calI jAvegI, ataH peTImeM bandakara rakha diye| jaba do mAsa bAda sAgara AyA aura bAIjIne cA~dIke bartana dekhe taba bolIM-'bhaiyA ! kyA inheM upayogameM nahIM lAye ?' maiMne kahA-'sundaratA na bigar3a jAtI ?' bAIjIne ha~sate hue kahA-'to phira kisaliye banavAye the? ___ bAIjIne usI samaya jalate hue cUlhepara bhagaunI car3hA dI, loTA glAsa pAnIse bharakara rakha diye aura jaba bhojanake lie baiThA taba cA~dIkA thAla bhI sAmane rakha diyaa| eka bhI dina aisA nahIM gayA, jisa dina una bartanoMkA upayoga na kiyA ho| bAIjImeM sabase bar3A guNa udAratAkA thaa| jo cIja hamako bhojanameM detI thIM, vahI nAI, dhobI, mehatarAnI Adiko detI thiiN| unase yadi koI kahatA to sApha uttara detI thIM ki mahInoM bAda tyohArake dina hI to inheM detI huuN| kharAba bhojana kyoM dU~ ? Akhira ye bhI to manuSya haiM ? unake pAsa jo bhI AtA thA prasanna hokara jAtA thaa| krodha to vaha kabhI karatI hI na thiiN| unake pratyeka kArya niyamAnukUla hote the| eka bAra bhojana karatI thIM aura eka bAra pAnI pItI thiiN| Ayase kama vyaya karatI thiiN| Avazyaka vastuoMkA saMgraha rakhatI thiiN| diyAsalAIke sthAnapara diyAsalAI aura lAlaTenake sthAna para laaltten| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki unheM koI vastu khojaneke liye parezAna na honA par3atA thaa| aisA samaya nahIM AyA ki For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 280 kabhI bAjArase paisA bha~jAne par3e hoN| ___unheM auSadhiyoMkA acchA jJAna thaa| maiM to cAlIsa varSa unake sahavAsameM rahA, kabhI unakA sira taka nahIM dukhaa| unakA bhojana eka pAvase adhika na thaa| chAchakA upayoga adhika karatI thiiN| jo bhI vastu rakhatI thIM bahuta sa~bhAla kara rakhatI thiiN| mujhe eka dhotI karnATakake chAtrane dI thI jo bahuta sundara thI, parantu kucha moTI thii| maiMne bAIjIko de dii| bAIjIne usa dhotIke dvArA nirantara pUjana kI aura bIsa varSake bAda jaba unakA svargavAsa ho gayA to jyoM-kI-tyoM dhotI unake sandUkameM nikliiN| bAIjIke sahavAsase maiMne bhI udAratAkA guNa grahaNa kara liyA, parantu usakI rakSA unakI nirlobhatAse huii| . abalA nahIM sabalA sAgarase, gaurajhAmarameM paJcakalyANaka pratiSThA thI, vahA~ gyaa| pratiSThAmeM paM. dIpacandrajI varNI, bAbA bhagIrathajI varNI tathA sAgara ke vidvAn paM. dayAcandra jI zAstrI, paM. munnAlAlajI Adi bhI upasthita the| madhyAhnake bAda strI sabhA huii| usameM zIlavratake Upara bhASaNa hue| rAtrike samaya eka yuvatI zrImandirajIke darzanake lie jA rahI thii| mArgameM eka sipAhIne usake urasthalameM majAkase eka kaMkar3a mAra diyA, phira kyA thA abalA sabalA ho gii| usa yuvatI ne usake zirakA sAphA utAra diyA aura lapakakara tIna yA cAra thappar3a usake gAlameM itane jorase mAre ki gAla lAla ho gyaa| logoMne pUchA ki 'bAIjI ! kyA bAta hai ?' vaha bolI-'kyA bAta hai ? kheda hai ki Apa loga pratiSThAmeM lAkhoM rupaye vyaya karate ho, parantu prabandha kucha bhI nahIM krte| hajAroM manuSya nirAvaraNa sthAna meM par3e hue haiM para kisIko cintA nhiiN| koI kisIke sAtha asadvyavahAra kare, koI pUchanevAlA nhiiN| striyA~ becArI svabhAvase hI lajjAzIla hotI haiN| duSTa guNDe unheM dekhakara ha~sate haiN| jisa kUpa para ve nahAtI haiM usIpara manuSya nahAte haiN| koI-koI manuSya itane duSTa hote haiM ki striyoMke AMgopAMga dekhakara ha~sI karate haiN| abhI kI bAta hai-'mandira jA rahI thI, isa duSTane, jo pulisakI vardI pahane hai aura rakSAkA bhAra apane zirapara liye hai, mere urasthala meM kaMkar3a mAra dii| isa pAmarako lajjA nahIM AtI jo hama abalAoM ke Upara aisA anAcAra karatA hai| Apa loga inheM rakSAke liye rakhate haiM, sahasroM rupaye vyaya karate haiM, para ye duSTa For Personal & Private Use Only

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abalA nahIM sabalA 281 yaha nindya-kArya karate haiN| Apa ise isake svAmIke pAsa le jaaiye| isake Upara dayA karanA nyAyakA galA ghoMTanA hai| Apa loga itane bhIru ho gaye haiM ki apanI mA~-bahanoM kI rakSA karanemeM bhI bhaya karate haiN| maiMne dopaharako zIlavatI deviyoM ke caritra sune the, isase merA itanA sAhasa ho gyaa| yadi Apa loga na hote to maiM isa duSTakI jo dazA karatI yaha yahI jaantaa|' itanA kahakara vaha usa sipAhIse punaH bolI-'re narAdhama ! pratijJA kara ki maiM aba kabhI bhI kisI strIke sAtha aisA vyavahAra na karU~gA, anyathA maiM svayaM tere darogA ke pAsa calatI hU~ aura vaha na suneMge to sAgara kaptAna ke pAsa jaauuNgii|' ___ vaha vivekazUnya-sA ho gyaa| bar3I derameM sAhasakara bolA-'beTI ! mujhase mahAn aparAdha huaa| kSamA kro| aba bhaviSyameM aisI harakata na hogii| kheda hai ki mujhe Ajataka aisI zikSA nahIM milii| ApakI zikSA pratyeka manuSyoMko sAdara svIkAra karanI cAhiye / isa zikSAke binA hama itane adhama ho gaye haiM ki kArya-akArya kucha bhI nahIM dekhte| Aja mujhe apane kartavyakA bodha huaa|' yuvatIne use kSamA kara diyA aura kahA-'pitAjI ! merI thappar3oMkA kheda na krnaa| merI thappar3eM tumheM zikSakakA kAma kara gii| aba maiM mandira jAtI huuN| Apa bhI apanI DyUTI adA kreN| __vaha maNDapameM pahuMcI aura upasthita janatAke samakSa khar3I hokara kahane lagI-mAtAoM aura bahinoM tathA pitA, cAcA aura bhAiyoM ! Aja merI umrameM prathama divasa hai ki maiM eka abodha strI Apake samakSa vyAkhyAna deneke lie khar3I huI huuN| maiMne kevala cAra klAsa hindIkI zikSA pAI hai| yadi zikSApara dRSTi dekara kucha bolanekA prayAsa karU~ to kucha bhI nahIM kaha sakatI, kintu Aja dopaharako maiMne zIlavatI striyoMke caritra sune| usase merI AtmAmeM vaha bAta paidA ho gaI ki maiM bhI to strI huuN| yadi apanA pauruSa upayogameM lAU~ to jo kAma prAcIna mAtAoMne kiye unheM maiM bhI kara sakatI huuN| yahI bhAva merI raga-ragameM samA gyaa| usIkA namUnA hai ki ekane merese majAka kiyaa| maiMne use jo thappar3eM dIM, vahI jAnatA hogA aura usase yaha pratijJA karavAkara AI hU~ ki 'beTI ! aba aisA asadvyavahAra na kruuNgaa|' prakRta bAta yaha hai ki hamArI samAja isa viSayameM bahuta pIche hai| sabase pahale hamArI samAjameM yaha doSa hai ki lar3akiyoMko yogya zikSA nahIM dete| bahutase bahuta huA to cAra klAsa hindI par3hA dete haiM, jisa zikSAmeM kevala For Personal & Private Use Only

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282 merI jIvanagAthA kuttA, billI, gilahariyoMkI kathA AtI hai| bAlikAoMkA kyA karttavya hai ? isake nAte akAra bhI nahIM sikhAyA jAtA mAtA-pitA yadi dhanI huA to kanyAko gahanoM se lAdakara khilaunA banA detA hai / na use zarIrako niroga rakhanekI zikSA detA hai aura na strIdharmakI ! yadi garIba mAtA-pitA hue to kahanA hI kyA ? yaha saba jahannumameM jAve / varakI talAzameM bhI bahuta asAvadhAnI karate haiN| lar3akIko sonA pahinaneke lie milanA cAhiye, cAhe lar3akA anurUpa ho yA na ho / vivAhameM hajAroM kharca kara deveMge, parantu yogya lar3akI bane, isameM eka paisA bhI kharca nahIM kreNge| lar3akevAle bhI yahI khyAla rakhate haiM ki sonA milanA cAhiye, cAhe lar3akI anukUla ho yA pratikUla / astu, isa viSayapara vizeSa mImAMsA nahIM karanA cAhatI, kyoMki sabhI loga apanI yaha bhUla svIkAra karate haiN| mAnate bhI haiN| parantu chor3ate nahIM / paJcoMkA kahanA ziramAthe, parantu panAlA yahIM rahegA / ' sabase jaghanya kArya to yaha hai ki hamAre navayuvaka aura yuvatiyoMne viSaya sevanako dAlaroTI samajha rakkhA hai / inake viSaya - sevanakA koI niyama nahIM hai| ye na dharmaparvoMko mAnate haiM aura na dharmazAstroMke niyamako / zAstroMmeM likhA hai ki strIkA sevana annakI taraha karanA cAhiye, parantu kahate hue lajjA AtI hai ki eka bAlaka to dUdha pI rahA hai, eka strIke udarameM hai aura eka bagalameM baiThA ceM-ceM kara rahA hai| tIna sAlameM tIna bacce / aisA lagatA hai, mAnoM striyA~ bacce paidA karanekI hor3ameM laga rahI haiN| koI-koI to itane duSTa hote haiM ki bAlakake udarameM rahate huye bhI apanI pApavAsanAse mukta nahIM hote| kyA kahU~ ? strIkA rAjya nahIM, nahIM to eka - ekakI khabara letiiN| phala isakA dekho ki saikar3oM nara-nArI tapedikake zikAra ho rahe haiM / mandAgnike zikAra to saumeM nabbe rahate haiM / jahA~para auSadhiyoMkI AvazyakatA na par3atI thI vahA~ aba vaidyamahArAjakI AvazyakatA hone lagI hai| pradara rogakI to mAno bAr3ha hI A gaI hai| dhAtuzINatA eka sAmAnya roga ho gayA hai| gajaToMmeM saikar3oM vijJApana aise-aise rogoMke rahate haiM jinheM bA~cane meM zarma AtI hai / ataH yadi jAtikA astitva surakSita rakhanA cAhatI ho to merI bahinoM ! beTiyoM ! isa bAtakI pratijJA karo ki hamAre peTameM baccA Aneke samayase lekara jaba taka vaha tIna varSakA na hogA taba taka brahmacarya vrata pAleMgI aura yahI niyama puruSa vargako lenA cAhiye / yadi isako hAsyameM ur3A doge to yAda rakkho tuma hAsyake pAtra bhI na rhoge| sAtha hI yaha bhI For Personal & Private Use Only

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harI bharI khetI -283 pratijJA karo ki aSTamI, caturdazI, aSTAhikA parva, solahakAraNa parva tathA dazalakSaNa parvameM brahmacarya vratakA pAlana kreNgii| vizeSa kucha nahIM kahanA caahtii|' usakA vyAkhyAna suna kara saba samAja cakita raha gii| pAsa hI baiThe bAbA bhAgIrathajIne dIpacandrajI varNIse kahA ki yaha abalA nahIM, sabalA hai| harI bharI khetI sAgarakI janatA abhI taka apane AcAra-vicArako pUrvavat surakSita rakkhe hue hai| yadyapi yahA~para anya bar3e-bar3e zaharoM ke anupAta se dhanika vargakI nyUnatA hai, to bhI logoM ke hRdayameM dhArmika kAryoM ke prati utsAha rahatA hai| pAThazAlAke prArambhase lekara Aja taka jaba hama usakI unnati aura kramika vikAsapara dRSTi DAlate haiM taba hamAre hRdayameM sAgaravAsiyoM ke prati anAyAsa AsthA utpanna ho jAtI hai| siMghaI kundanalAlajI, cau. hukumacandrajI, mAnika caukavAle, malaiyA zivaprasAda, zobhArAma, bAlacandrajI, siM. rAjArAmajI, siM. hotIlAlajI, modI zikharacandrajIkI mA~, jauharI khAnadAna Adi aneka mahAzaya aise haiM jo sadA pAThazAlAkA siJcana karate rahate haiN| isa prakAra yaha sAgarakI pAThazAlA prArambhase lekara aba taka sAnanda cala rahI hai| merA khyAla hai ki kisI bhI saMsthAke saMcAlanake liye paisA utanA Avazyaka nahIM hai jitanA ki yogya prAmANika kAryakatAoMkA milnaa| isa pAThazAlAke calAnekA mukhya kAraNa yahA~ke yogya aura prAmANika kAryakartAoMkA milanA / isa pAThazAlAke calAnekA mukhya kAraNa yahA~ke yogya aura prAmANika kAryakartAoMkA maNDala hI hai| pAThazAlAmeM nirantara uttamase uttama vidvAn rakkhe gae haiN| prArambhame zrImAn paNDita sahadeva jhA tathA chiMge zAstrI rakhe gye| ye donoM apane viSayake bahuta hI yogya vidvAn the| inake bAda paM. veNImAdhavajI vyAkaraNAcArya, paM. lokanAtha zAstrI, paM. chedI prasAdajI vyAkaraNAcArya niyukta hue| jaina adhyApakoMmeM paM. munnAlAlajI nyAyatIrtha rAMdhelIya rakkhe gaye, jo atyanta pratibhAzAlI vidvAn haiN| Apa isa vidyAlayake sarva prathama chAtra haiN| Apane yahA~ kaI varSa taka adhyApana kArya kiyaa| aba Apa hI isa vidyAlayake mantrI haiM jo bar3e utsAha aura laganake sAtha kAma karate haiN| Aja kala Apa svatantra vyavasAya karate haiN| Apake pahale zrIpUrNacandra bajAja mantrI the| Apa prAyaH tIsa varSa pAThazAlAke mantrI rahe hoNge| Apa bar3e gambhIra aura vicAraka puruSa haiN| sAtha hI vidyA-pracArake bar3e icchuka haiN| Apane jaba yahA~ yaha pAThazAlA na khulI thI taba eka choTI For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 284 pAThazAlA khola rakkhI thii| Age calakara choTI pAThazAlA hI isa rUpameM parivartita ho gii| eka vAcanAlaya bhI Apane kholA thA, jo Aja sarasvatI-vAcanAlayake nAmase prasiddha hai| Ajakala bhI isa pAThazAlAke jo adhyApaka haiM, ve bahuta hI suyogya haiN| pradhAnAdhyApaka paM. dayAcandrajI zAstrI haiN| Apane prArambhase yahA~ adhyayana kiyaa| bAdameM banArasa cale gye| nyAyatIrtha parIkSA pAsa kii| dharmazAstrameM jIvakANDa taka hI adhyayana kiyA, parantu ApakI buddhi itanI prakhara hai ki Apa Ajakala siddhAntazAstrameM jIvakANDa, karmakANDa, trilokasAra, rAjavArtika tathA dhavalAdi granthoMkA adhyApana karate haiM aura nyAyameM prameyakamalamArtaNDa, aSTasahasrI, zlokavArtika Adi par3hAte haiN| anekoM chAtra Apake zrImukhase adhyayana kara nyAyatIrtha tathA zAstrI parIkSA uttIrNa hue haiN| ApakI prazaMsA kahA~ taka kI jAve, ye grantha prAyaH Apako kaNThastha haiN| Apake bAda paM. mANikacandrajI haiN| Apa chAtroMko vyutpanna banAnemeM bahuta paTu haiN| Apa chAtroMko prArambhase hI itanA subodha banA dete haiM ki sahaja hI madhyamA parIkSAke yogya ho jAte haiN| Ajakala Apa sarvArthasiddhi, jIvakANDa tathA siddhAntakaumudI bhI par3hAte haiN| par3hAneke atirikta pAThazAlAke sarasvatIbhavana kI vyavasthA bhI Apa hI karate haiN| Apane Adise anta taka isI vidyAlayameM adhyayana kiyA hai| inake bAda tIsare adhyApaka paM. pannAlAlajI sAhityAcArya haiN| Apa bahuta hI suyogya haiN| inhoMne madhyamA taka gurumukhase adhyayana kiyaa| phira prativarSa apane Apa sAhityakA adhyayana kara parIkSA dete rhe| isa prakAra pA~ca khaNDa pAsa kiye| sirpha chaThavIM varSa do mAsako banArasa gaye aura sAhityAcArya padavI lekara A gye| Apa itane pratibhAzAlI haiM ki banArasa ke chAtra Apase sAhityika adhyayana karaneke lie yahA~ Ate haiN| Apake par3hAye hue chAtra bahuta hI subodha hote haiN| Apane yahIM adhyayana kiyA hai| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki sAgara vidyAlaya inhIM suyogya vidvAnoMke dvArA cala rahA hai| dravyakI puSkalatA na honepara bhI Apa loga yogya rItise pAThazAlAko calA rahe haiN| aba taka pacAsoM vidvAn pAThazAlAse niSNAta hokara nikala cuke, jisameM kaI to bahuta bahuta hI kuzala nikle| santoSakI bAta yaha hai ki isa saMsthAkA saMcAlana isIse par3hakara nikale hue vidvAn loga kara rahe haiN| maMtrI isI pAThazAlAke chAtra haiM, cha: adhyApakoMmeM pA~ca adhyApaka isI pAThazAlAke par3he hue haiN| suparinTenDenTa aura klarka bhI isI saMsthAke chAtra For Personal & Private Use Only

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harI bharI khetI 285 haiN| aisA saubhAgya zAyada hI kisI saMsthAko prApta hogA ki usase nikale chAtra vidvAna usIkI sevA kara rahe hoN| paM. mUlacandrajI vilauvA jakhairA nivAsIne isa pAThazAlAmeM bahuta kAma kiyaa| ApakI badaulata pAThazAlAko hajAroM rupaye mile| Apa bahuta sAhasI manuSya haiN| isa prakAra yaha vidyAlaya isa prAnta kI harI-bharI khetI hai, jise dekhakara anya kI to nahIM kahatA para merA hRdaya Anandase Apluta ho jAtA hai| : sAgara sAgara hI hai, ataH isameM ratna bhI paidA hote haiN| bAlacandrajI malaiyA sAgarake eka ratna hI haiN| inhoMne jabase kAma sa~bhAlA tabase sAgarakI hI nahIM, samasta bundelakhaNDa prAntake jaina samAjakI pratiSThA bar3hA dii| Apa jitane kuzala vyApArI haiM utane dhArmika bhI haiN| Apane gyAraha hajAra rupayA sAgara vidyAlayako diye, cAlIsa hajAra rupayA jaina hAIskUlakI bilDiMga ke liye diye, bIsa hajAra rupayA jaina gurukula malaharAko diye, paccIsa hajAra rupayA sAgarameM prasUtigRha banAneke liye diye aura isake atirikta prativarSa aneka chAtroMko chAtravRtti dete rahate haiN| adhyayanake premI haiN| Apane apane hIrA Aila milsa lAibrerI meM kaI hajAra pustakoMkA saMgraha kiyA hai| ApakI isa sarvAMgINa unnatimeM kAraNa Apake bar3e bhAI zrIzivaprasAdajI malaiyA haiM, jo bar3e hI zAnta vicAraka aura gambhIra prakRtike mAnava haiN| Apa itane pratibhAzAlI vyakti haiM ki ekAnta sthAnameM baiThe-baiThe apane vizAla kArya-bhArakA cupacApa saphala saJcAlana karate rahate haiN| vidyAlayakI suvyavasthA aura samAjake logoMkI Abhyantara abhirucike kAraNa merA mukhya sthAna sAgara hI ho gayA aura merI AyukA bahubhAga sAgarameM hI biitaa| zAhapurameM vidyAlaya zAhapurameM paJcakalyANaka the| pratiSThAcArya zrImAn paM. motIlAlajI varNI the| yaha nagara ganezagaMja sTezanase Der3ha mIla dUra hai| yahA~ para pacAsa ghara jainiyoMke haiN| prAyaH sabhI sampanna, catura aura sadAcArI haiN| isa gA~vameM koI dassA nhiiN| yahA~ para zrIhajArIlAla sarrApha vyApArameM bahuta kuzala haiN| yadi yaha kisI vyApArI kSetrameM hotA to alpa hI samayameM sampattizAlI ho jAtA, parantu sAtha hI eka aisI bAta bhI hai jisameM samAjake sAtha ghaniSTha sambandha nahIM ho paataa| jinake paJcakalyANaka the vaha sajjana vyakti haiN| unakA nAma For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 286 halakUlAlajI hai| unake cAcA vRddha haiM, jinakA svabhAva prAcIna paddhatikA hai| vidyAkI ora unakA bilkula bhI lakSya nhiiN| maiMne bahuta samajhAyA ki isa ora bhI dhyAna denA cAhiye, parantu unhoMne TAla diyA / yahA~ para eka lokamaNi dAU haiN| unake sAtha merA ghaniSTha sambandha thaa| unase maiMne kahA ki aisA upAya karanA cAhiye ki jisase yahA~ para eka pAThazAlA ho jAve, kyoMki yaha avasara anukUla hai| isa samaya zrIjinendra bhagavAnke paJcakalyANaka honese saba janatAke pariNAma nirmala haiN| nirmalatAkA upayoga avazya hI karanA caahiye|' dAUne hamArI bAtakA samarthana kiyaa| devAdhideva zrIjinendradevakA pANDukazilApara abhiSeka thaa| pANDukazilA eka U~cI pahAr3Ipara banAI gaI thI, jisapara kalpita airAvata hAthIke sAtha car3hate hue hajAroM nara-nArIyoMkI bhIr3a bar3I hI bhalI mAlUma hotI thii| bhagavAnke abhiSekakA dRzya dekhakara sAkSAt sumeru parvatakA AbhAsa ho rahA thaa| jaba abhiSekake bAda bhagavAnkA yathocita zRMgArAdi kiyA jA cukA, taba maiMne janatAse apIla kI ki-'isa samaya Apa logoMke pariNAma atyanta komala haiM, ataH jinakA abhiSeka kiyA hai, unake upadezoMkA vicAra karaneke liye yahA~ eka vidyAkA Ayatana sthApita honA caahiye| saba logoMne 'hA~ hA~ ThIka hai, ThIka hai, jarUra honA cAhiye, Adi zabda kahakara hamArI apIla svIkAra kI, parantu candA likhAnekA zrIgaNeza nahIM huaa| saba loga yathAsthAna cale gye| isake bAda rAjyagaddI, dIkSAkalyANaka, kevalakalyANaka aura nirvANakalyANakake utsava kramase sAnanda sampanna hue| mujhe dekhakara yaha antaraMgameM mahatI vyathA huI ki loga bAhya kAryoM meM to kitanI udAratAke sAtha vyaya karate haiM, parantu samyagjJAnake pracArameM paisAkA nAma Ate hI idhara udhara dekhane lagate haiN| jisa prakAra jinendradevakI mudrAkI pratiSThAmeM dharma hotA hai, usI prakAra ajJAnI janatAke hRdayase ajJAna-timirako dUrakara unameM sarvajJa vItarAga devake pavitra zAsanakA prasAra karanA bhI to dharma hai| para logoMkI dRSTi isa ora ho taba n| mandiroMmeM TAila aura saMgamaramara jar3avAnemeM loga sahasroM vyaya kara deMge para sau rupayeke zAstra bulAkara virAjamAna karanemeM hicakate haiN| isa prAntameM yaha paddhati hai ki Agata janatA paJcakalyANaka karanevAleko tilaka dAna karatI hai tathA pagar3I bA~dhatI hai| yadi gajaratha karanevAlA yajamAna hai to use siMghaI padase bhUSita karate haiM aura saba loga siMghaIjI kahakara unase For Personal & Private Use Only

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zAhapura vidyAlaya 1 juhAra karate haiM / isI samayase lekara vaha tathA usakA samasta parivAra Age calakara siMghaI zabdase prakhyAta ho jAtA hai / antameM jaba yahA~ bhI paJcakalyANaka karanevAleko tilakadAnakA avasara AyA taba maiMne zrIyut lokamaNi dAUse kahA ki 'inheM siMghaI pada diyA jaave| cU~ki siMghaI pada gajaratha calAnevAleko hI diyA jAtA thA, ataH upasthita janatAne usakA ghora virodha kiyA aura kahA ki yadi vaha maryAdA tor3a dI jAvegI to saikar3oM siMghaI ho jaaveNge| maiMne kahA--'isa prathAko nahIM miTAnA cAhiye, parantu jaba kalyANapurAmeM paJcakalyANaka hue the taba vahA~ zrImanta seTha sohanalAlajI khuraIvAle, zrImAn seTha brajalAla candrabhAnu lakSmIcandrajI bamarAnAvAle, zrImAn seTha Tar3aiyAjI lalitapuravAle tathA zrI caudharI rAmacandrajI TIkamagar3havAle Adi sahasroM paJca upasthita the / vahA~ yaha nirNaya huA thA ki yadi koI eka musta pA~ca hajAra vidyAdAnameM de to use siMghaI padase bhUSita karanA cAhiye / yadyapi vahA~ bhI bahutase mahAnubhAvoMne isakA virodha kiyA thA, parantu bahusammati se prastAva pAsa ho gayA thA / ataH yadi halakUlAlajI pA~ca hajAra rupayA vidyAdAnameM deM to unheM yaha pada de diyA jaave| hamArI bAta sunakara saba paJcoMne apanA virodha vApisa le liyA aura ukta zartapara siMghaIpada deneke liye rAjI ho gaye, parantu halakulAla sahamata nahIM hue| unakA kahanA thA ki hama pA~ca hajAra rupaye nahIM de skte| maiMne lokamana dAUse kAnameM dhIrese kahA ki 'dekho aisA avasara phira na milegA, ataH Apa ise samajhA deveM / ' antameM dAU unheM ekAntameM le gaye / unhoMne jisa kisI taraha tIna hajAra rupaye taka denA svIkAra kiyaa| maiMne upasthita janatAse apIla kI ki Apa loga yaha acchI taraha jAnate haiM ki paravArasabhAmeM pA~ca hajAra rupayA dene para siMghaI padavIkA prastAva pAsa kiyA hai| unhoMne bAraha hajAra rupayA to pratiSThAmeM vyaya kiyA hai aura tIna hajAra rupayA vidyAdAnameM de rahe haiM tathA inake tIna hajAra rupayA denese grAmavAle bhI do hajAra rupayekI sahAyatA avazya kara deveMge, ataH inheM siMghaI padase bhUSita kiyA jaave| vivekase kAma lenA cAhiye / itane bar3e grAmameM pAThazAlA na honA lajjAkI bAta hai| bahuta vAda-vivAda huaa| prAcIna paddhativAloM ne bahuta virodha kiyA / para anta meM do ghaNTe bAda prastAva pAsa ho gyaa| usI samaya halakUlAlajIko paMcoM ne siMghaI padakI pagar3I bA~dhI / isa prakAra zrI lokamana dAUkI caturAIse zAhapurA meM eka vidyAlayakI sthApanA ho gyii| paMcakalyANakakA utsava nirvighna samApta ho 287 For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 288 gayA, para akasmAt mAhuTakA pAnI barasa jAne se janatA ko kaSTa sahanA pdd'aa| sAgara vidyAlayakA bhI vArSika adhivezana huA thaa| vahA~se sAgara A gaye aura yathAvat dharma-sAdhana karane lge| khataulImeM kundakunda vidyAlaya eka bAra baruAsAgarase khataulI gyaa| vahA~ para zrImAna bhAgIrathajI bhI, jo mere paramahitaiSI bandhu evaM prANimAtrakI mokSamArgameM pravRti karAnevAle the, mila gye| yahIM para zrIdIpacandrajI varNI bhI the| unake sAtha bhI merA parama sneha thaa| hama tInoMkI paraspara ghaniSTha mitratA thii| eka dina tInoM mitra gaMgAkI naharapara bhramaNa ke liye gye| vahIM para sAmAyika karane ke bAda yaha vicAra karane lage ki yahA~ eka aise vidyAlayakI sthApanA honI cAhie, jisase isa prAnta meM saMskRta-vidyA kA pracAra ho sake / yadyapi yahA~ para bhASA ke jAnanevAle bahuta haiM, jo ki svAdhyAyake premI tathA tattvacarcA meM nipuNa haiM tathApi kramabaddha adhyayanake binA jJAnakA pUrNa vikAsa nahIM ho pAtA / yahA~ paM. dharmadAsajI, lAlA kizorIlAlajI, lAlA maMgatarAmajI, lAlA vizvambharadAsajI, lAlA bAbUlAlajI, lAlA khicaur3ImallajI tathA zrImahAdevI Adi tattvavidyAke acche jAnakAra haiN| paM0 dharmadAsajI to bahuta hI sUkSmabuddhi haiN| Apako gommaTasArAdi granthoM kA acchA abhyAsa hai| inameM jo lAlA kizorIlAlajI haiM ve bahuta hI vivekI haiN| maiM jaba khurajA vidyAlayameM adhyayana karatA thA taba Apa bhI vahA~ adhyayana karane ke liye Aye the| eka dina Apane yaha pratijJA lI ki hama vyApAra meM sadA satya bolegeN| Apa tIna bhAI the| Apake pitAjI acche puruSa the| dhanADhya bhI the| pitAjIne lAlA kizorIlAlajI ko AjJA dI ki dukAnapara baiThA kro| AjJAnusAra Apa dukAnapara baiThane lge| jo grAhaka AtA use Apa satya mUlya hI kahate the| parantu cU~ki Ajakala mithyA vyavahArakI bahulatA hai, isalie grAhaka logoMse inakI paTarI na ptte| yaha kaheM 'amuka vastra eka rupayA gaja milegaa| grAhaka loga vartamAna praNAlI ke anusAra kaheM-bAraha AnA gaja doge|' yaha kheN-'nhiiN|' grAhaka phira kaheM-'acchA sAr3he bAraha AnA gaja doge|' yaha kheN-nhiiN|' isa prakAra inakI dukAnadArI kA hAsa hone lgaa| jaba inake pitAjIko yaha bAta mAlUma huI taba unhoMne kizorIlAlajI kI bahuta bhartsanA kI aura kahA ki 'tU bahuta nAdAna hai| samayake anukUla vyApAra hotA hai| jaba bAjArameM sabhI mithyA bhASaNa karate haiM For Personal & Private Use Only

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khataulImeM kundakuda vidyAlaya 289 taba kyA tU harizcandra banakara dukAna calA sakegA? kucha dina bAda dukAnako dhvasta kara degaa|' lAlA kizorIlAlajI bole- pitAjI! antameM satyakI vijaya hotI hai / anyAyase dhana arjana karanA mujhe iSTa nahIM hai| jitane dinakA jIvana hai, sUkhI roTIse bhale hI peTa bhara lUMgA, parantu anyAyase dhanArjana na karU~gA / kisI kavi ne kahA hai anyAyopArjitaM vittaM daza varSANi tiSThati / prApte tvekAdaze varSe samUlaM ca vinazyati / / yadi Apako merA vyavahAra iSTa nahIM hai to Apa mujhe pRthak kara diijiye| mere bhAgyameM jo hogA usake anusAra merI dazA hogI, Apa cintA chor3iye / ' pitAne AvegameM Akara inheM pRthak kara diyA / yaha pRthak ho gaye / inhoMne mandirameM jAkara iSTadevakA ArAdhana kiyA aura yaha pratijJA kI ki eka varSameM itane rupaye kA kapar3A beceMge, bhAdramAsa meM vyApAra na kareMge aura kisIko udhAra na deveNge| yaha bhI nizcaya kiyA ki hamAre niyamake anusAra yadi kapar3A pahale bika gayA to phira bhAdramAsa taka sAnanda dharmasAdhana kreNge| ApakA aTala vizvAsa alpakAlameM hI janatAke hRdaya meM jama gayA aura ApakI dukAna prasiddha ho gii| Apa prAyaH kabhI nau mAha aura kabhI dasa mAha hI vyApAra karate the| itane hI samaya meM ApakI pratijJAke anusAra mAla bika jAtA thaa| Apa thor3e hI varSoM meM dhanI ho gaye / ApakI dAnameM bhI acchI pravRtti thI / Apake do bAlaka the| Apa kisIko udhAra kapar3A na becate the / . eka bAra Apane aisA aTapaTA niyama liyA ki kapar3A lenevAle ko prathama to hama udhAra nahIM deveMge aura yadi kisI vyaktine vizeSa Agraha kiyA to do hajAra taka de deveMge, parantu vaha dUsare dina taka de jAvegA to le leveMge, anyathA nahIM aura vaha bhI jaba taka ki rokar3a vahI cAlU rahegI, banda honeke bAda na leveNge| daivayogase jisane inake yahA~ se kapar3A udhAra liyA thA vaha dUsase dina jaba inakI rokar3a banda ho gaI taba rupayA laayaa| Apane apanI pratijJA ke anusAra rupayA nahIM liyA / yadyapi usane bahuta kucha minnata kI, para Apane na sunii| kahane kA tAtparya yaha hai ki Apa apanI pratijJAse cyuta nahIM hue / phala yaha huA ki inakI dhAka bAjAra meM jama gaI, jisase thor3e hI dina meM ApakI gaNanA uttama sAhUkAroM meM hone lgii| Apako tattvajJAna bhI samIcIna thA / adhyAtmavidyAse bar3Aprema thA / merI jo adhyAtmavidyAmeM ruci huI, yaha Apake For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 290 hI sambandhase huii| Apako dyAnatarAyajI ke saikar3oM bhajana Ate the| eka dina maiMne khataulImeM vidyAlaya sthApita karanekI carcA kucha logoM ke samakSa kI, taba lAlA vizvambharadAsa jI bole ki Apa cintA na kriye| zAstrasabhAmeM isakA prasaMga lAiye, bAtakI bAtameM pA~ca hajAra rupayA ho jaayeNge| aisA hI huaa| dUsare dina maiMne zAstrasabhA meM kahA-'Ajakala pAzcAtya vidyAkI ora hI logoM kI dRSTi hai aura jo AtmakalyANakI sAdhaka saMskRta-prAkRta vidyA hai usa ora kisIkA lakSya nhiiN| pAzcAtya vidyAkA abhyAsa kara hama laukika sukha pAnekI icchAse kevala dhanArjana karanemeM laga jAte haiN| para yaha bhUla jAte haiM ki yaha laukika sukha sthAyI nahIM hai, nazvara hai, aneka AkulatAoMkA ghara hai; ataH prAcIna vidyAkI ora lakSya denA caahiye|' upasthita janatAne yaha prastAva svIkRta kara liyA, jisase dasa minaTameM hI pA~ca hajAra rupayAkA candA bharA gayA aura yaha nizcaya huA ki eka saMskRta vidyAlaya kholA jAve, jisakA nAma kundakunda vidyAlaya ho| do dina bAda vidyAlaya kA muhUrta honA nizcita huaa| bIsa rupayA mAsikapara paM. munzIlAlajI, jo ki saMskRtake acche jJAtA the, niyukta kiye gye| antameM vidyAlayakA muhurta huA, rupayA saba vasUla ho gaye, eka bilDiMga bhI vidyAlayako mila gii| pazcAt vahA~se calakara hama sAgara A gye| vidyAlaya kI sthApanA san 1935 meM huI thii| yaha vidyAlaya aba kAleja ke rUpameM pariNata ho gayA hai| jisameM lagabhaga chaha sau chAtra adhyayana karate haiM aura tIsa adhyApaka haiN| kucha prakaraNa eka bAra hama aura kamalApati seTha varAyaThAse A rahe the| karrApurase do mIla dUra eka kue~ para pAnI pI rahe the| pAnI pIkara jyoM hI calane lage, tyoM hI eka manuSya AyA aura kahane lagA ki hameM pAnI pilA diijiye| maiMne kue~se pAnI khIMcakara dUsare loTAmeM chaanaa| vaha bolA-'mahArAja ! maiM mehatara-bhaMgI huuN| maiMne kahA-'kucha hAni nahIM, pAnI hI to pInA cAhate ho, pI lo|' seThajI bole-'patte lAkara donA banA lo| maiM bolA-'yahA~ donA nahIM bana sakatA, kyoMki yahA~ palAzakA vRkSa nahIM hai| maiMne usa manuSyase kahA-'khovA bA~dho, hama pAnI pilAte haiN| seThajI bole-'loTA AgameM zuddha karanA pdd'egaa| maiMne kahA-'kucha hAni nahIM, pAnI to pilAne do|' seThajIne khaa-'pilaaiye|' ____ maiMne use pAnI pilaayaa| pazcAt vaha loTA use hI de diyA aura For Personal & Private Use Only

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kucha prakaraNa 291 seThajIse kahA-'calo zuddha karanekI jhaMjhaTa mittii| seThajI ha~sa gaye aura vaha bhaMgI bhI 'jaya mahArAja' kahatA huA calA gyaa| jaba vahA~se calakara sAgara Aye aura bAIjIko seThajI ne saba vyavasthA sunAI taba vaha haMsakara bolI-'isakI aisI hI pravRtti hai, jAne do|' isake bAda kucha dera taka merI hI carcA calatI rhii| isI bIcameM bAIjIne seThajIse kahA ki 'yaha binA diye kucha letA bhI nhiiN|' eka bAra simarAmeM jaba yaha mere yahA~ AyA, maiM mandira gaI aura isase kaha gaI ki dekho jeThakA mAsa hai| yadi pyAsa lage to kaToradAna meM mIThA rakkhA hai, khA lenaa| ise pyAsa lgii| isane bAjArase eka AnAkI zakkara ma~gAI aura zarbata banAkara pIne lgaa| itane meM maiM aaii| maiMne kahA-'kaToradAnase mIThA nahIM liyA? yaha cupa raha gyaa| eka bAra maiM banArasase sAgara A rahA thA, aSAr3hakA mAha thaa| pacAsa laMgar3A AmoM kI eka TokanI sAthameM thii| mugalasarAyase DAkagAr3ImeM baiTha gyaa| jisa DibbAmeM baiThA thA, usImeM kaTanI jAnevAlA eka musalamAna bhI baiTha gyaa| usake pAsa eka Ama kI TokanI thii| jaba gAr3I calI taba usane TokanImeMse eka Ama nikAlA aura cAkUse tarAzakara khAne kI ceSTA kii| itanemeM bambaI jAnevAle cAra musalamAna aura A gye| usane sabako vibhAga kara Ama khaaye| isa taraha mirjApura taka dasa Ama khAye hoNge| mirjApurameM ilAhAbAda jAnevAle pA~ca-chaha musalamAna usa DibbA meM aura A gye| phira kyA thA ? AmoM kA tarAzanA aura khAnA calatA rhaa| isa taraha choMkI taka paccIsa Ama pUrNa ho gye| ilAhAbAda jAnevAle musalamAna to cale gaye, para vahA~se pA~ca musalamAna aura bhI A gye| unakA bhI isI taraha kArya calatA rhaa| kahane kA tAtparya yaha hai ki kaTanI taka vaha TokanI pUrNa ho gii| maiM yaha saba dekhakara bahuta hI vismita huaa| maiM ekadama vicArameM DUba gayA ki dekho ina logoMmeM paraspara kitanA sneha hai? acchA yaha kathA to yahIM rahI hai| maiM kaTanI utara gyaa| yahA~ para siMghaI kanhaiyAlAlajI bar3e dharmazIla the| koI bhI tyAgI yA paNDita Ave to Apake ghara bhojana kiye binA nahIM jaataa| Apake sabhI bhAI vyApArakuzala hI nahIM, dAnazUra bhI the| eka bhAI 'lAlajI' nAmase prasiddha the| bImArIke samaya paccIsa hajAra rUpayA saMskRta vidyAlayako de gye| pandraha hajAra rUpayA eka For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 292 bAra saba bhAIyoMne isa zartapara jamA karA diye ki isakA byAja paMDita jaganmohanalAlajI ke liye hI diyA jaave| pA~ca hajAra rUpayA ekabAra kanyAzAlAko de diye aura bhI hajAroM rUpayoMkA dAna Apa logoMne kiyA, jo mujhe mAlUma nhiiN| unake yahA~ Anandase bhojana kiyaa| AmakI TokanImeMse bIsa Ama chAtroMko de diye| zeSa lekara sAgara claa| zAhapurakI sTezana (ganezagaMja) para paha~cA / vahA~para gAr3I pandraha minaTa Thahara gii| bagalameM kAma karanevAle naukaroMkI gAr3I thii| hamArI gAr3I jyoM hI khar3I huI, tyoM hI sAmanekI gAr3Ise nikalakara kitane hI choTe-choTe bacce bhIkha mA~gane lge| una dinoM sTezanapara Ama bahuta bikate the| kaI loga cUsa cUsakara unakI goI bAhara pheMkate jAte the| mA~ganevAle mA~ganese nahIM cUkate the| kaI dayAlu AdamI bAlakoMko Ama bhI de dete the| maiMne bhI TokarIse do Ama pheMka diye, jinheM pAneke liye lar3ake ApasameM jhagar3ane lge| antameM maiMne eka bar3e AdamIko bulAyA aura kahA ki tuma Ama bA~Ta do, hama dete jAte haiN| kahanekA abhiprAya yaha hai ki maiMne tIsa hI Ama bA~Ta diye, kyoMki mere cittameM to musalamAnakI ceSTA bharI thii| sAtha hI maiM bhI isa prakRtikA hU~ ki jo manameM Ave use karanemeM vilamba na krnaa| vahA~se calakara sAgara A gyaa| jaba bAIjIse praNAma kiyA to unhoMne kahA-'beTA ! banArasase la~gar3A Ama nahIM lAye?' maiMne kahA-'bAIjI ! lAyA to thA, parantu zAhapurameM bA~Ta aayaa|' unhoMne kahA-'acchA kiyaa| parantu eka bAta merI suno; dAna karanA uttama hai| parantu zaktiko ullaMghana kara dAna karanekI koI pratiSThA nhiiN| prathama to sabase uttama dAna yaha hai ki hama apane Apako dAna karanevAlA na mAneM / anAdikAlase hamane apaneko nahIM jAnA kevala paraka apanA mAna yoM hI anantakAla bitA diyA aura caturgatirUpa saMsAra meM karmAnukUla paryAya pAkara aneka saMkaTa she| saMkaTase merA tAtparya hai ki asaMkhyAta vikala kaSAyoMke kartA hue, kyoMki kaSAyake vikalpa hI to saMkaTake kAraNa haiN| jitane vikalpa kaSAyoM ke haiM utane hI prakArakI AkulatA hotI hai aura AkulatA hai duHkhakI paryAya hai| kaSAya vastu anya hai aura AkulatA vastu anya hai| yadyapi sAmAnyarUpase AkulatA kaSAyase atirikta vibhinna nahIM mAlUma hotI, to rbha sUkSma vicArase AkulatA aura kaSAya meM kAryakAraNabhAva pratIta hotA hai| ata yadi satya sukhakI icchA hai to yaha kartRtvabuddhi chor3o ki maiM dAtA huuN| yaha For Personal & Private Use Only

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zikharajIkI yAtrA aura bAIjIkA vratagrahaNa 293 nizcita hai, jabataka ahaMkAratA na jAvegI tabataka bandhana hI meM pha~se rhoge| jaba ki yaha siddhAMta hai ki saba dravya pRthak-pRthak haiN| koI kisIke AdhIna nahIM, taba kartRtvakA abhimAna karanA vyartha hai !' maiM bAIjIkI bAta sunakara cupa raha gyaa| zikharajIkI yAtrA aura bAIjIkA vratagrahaNa prAtaHkAla kA samaya thaa| mAghamAsa meM kaTarA bAjArake mandira meM Ananda se pUjana ho rahA thaa| saba loga prasannacitta the| sabake mukhase zrI girirAjakI vandanAke vacana nikala rahe the| hamArA citta bhI bhItarase girirAjakI vandanAke lie umaMga karane lagA aura yaha vicAra haA ki girirAjakI vandanAko avazya jaanaa| mandirase dharmazAlAmeM Ae aura bhojana zIghratA se karane lge| bhojana karaneke anantara zrI bAIjIne kahA ki 'itanI zIghratA kyoM?' 'bhojanameM zIghratA karanA acchA nhiiN|' maiMne kahA-'bAIjI ! kala kaTarAse paccIsa manuSya zrIgirirAjajI jA rahe haiN| merA bhI mana zrIgirirAjakI yAtrAke liye vyagra ho rahA hai|' bAIjIne kahA-'vyagratAkI AvazyakatA nahIM, hama bhI cleNge| mulAbAI bhI clegii|' dUsare dina hama saba yAtrAke liye sTezana se gayAkA TikaTa lekara cala diye| sAgarase kaTanI pahu~ce aura yahA~se DAkagAr3ImeM baiThakara prAtaHkAla gayA pahu~ca gye| vahA~ zrIjAnakIdAsa kanhaiyAlAlake yahA~ bhojanakara do bajekI gAr3Ise baiThakara zAmako zrIpArzvanAtha sTezana para pahu~ca gaye aura girirAjake dUrase hI darzana kara dharmazAlA meM Thahara gaye / prAtaHkAla zrIpArzvaprabhu kI pUjAkara madhyAhna bAda moTarameM baiThakara zrIterApanthI koThI meM jA phuNce| __yahA~ para zrI paM0 pannAlAlajI mainejarane saba prakArakI suvidhA kara dii| Apa hI aise mainejara terApanthI koThIko mile ki jinake dvArA vaha svarga bana gii| vizAla sarasvatIbhavana tathA mandiroMkI sundaratA dekha citta prasanna ho jAtA hai| zrI pArzvanAthakI pratimA to cittako zAnta karanemeM advitIya nimitta hai| yadyapi upAdAnameM kArya hotA hai, parantu nimitta bhI koI vastu hai| mokSa kA kAraNa ratnatraya kI pUrNatA hai, parantu karmabhUmi, carama zarIra Adi bhI sahakArI kAraNa hai| sAyaMkAlakA samaya thaa| hama saba loga koThIke bAhara cabUtarA para gye| vahIM para sAmAyikAdi kriyA kara tattvacarcA karane lge| jisa kSetra se For Personal & Private Use Only

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294 merI jIvanagAthA anantAnanta caubIsI mokSa prApta kara cukIM vahAMkI pRthivIkA sparza puNyAtmA jIvako hI prApta ho sakatA hai / raha-raha kara yahI bhAva hotA thA ki he prabho ! kaba aisA suavasara Ave ki hama loga bhI daigambarI dIkSA avalambanakara isa duHkhamaya jagatse mukta hoM / I bAIjIkA svAsthya zvAsarogase vyathita thA, ataH unhoMne kahA- 'bhaiyA Aja hI yAtrAke liye calanA hai; isalie yahA~se jaldI sthAna para calo aura mArgakA jo parizrama hai use dUra karaneke liye zIghra ArAmase so jAo / pazcAt tIna baje rAtrise yAtrAke liye cleNge|' AjJA mAnakara sthAna para Aye aura so gye| do baje nidrA bhaMga huii| pazcAt zaucAdi kriyA se nivRtta hokara eka DolI mNgaaii| bAIjIko usameM baiThAkara hama saba zrIpArzvanAtha svAmIkI jaya bolate hue girirAja kI vandanAke liye cala pdd'e| gandharva nAlApara pahu~cakara sAmAyika kriyA kI / vahA~se calakara sAta baje zrIkunthunAtha svAmIkI vandanA kI / vahA~se saba ToMkoMkI yAtrA karate hue dasa baje zrI pArzvanAtha svAmIkI ToMka para pahu~ca gaye / Anandase zrI pArzvanAtha svAmI aura girirAja kI pUjA kii| citta prasannatAse bhara gayA / bAIjI to AnandameM itanI nimagna huI ki pulakita vadana ho uThI, aura gadgada svarameM hamase kahane lagI ki - 'bhaiyA ! yaha hamArI paryAya tIna mAhakI hai ataH tuma hameM dUsarI pratimAke vrata do|' maiMne kahA - 'bAIjI ! maiM to ApakA bAlaka hU~, Apane cAlIsa varSa mujhe bAlakavat puSTa kiyA, mere sAtha Apane jo upakAra kiyA hai use Ajanma nahIM vismaraNa kara sakatA, ApakI sahAyatAse mujhe do akSaroMkA bodha huA, athavA bodha honA utanA upakAra nahIM jitanA upakAra ApakA samAgama pAkara kaSAya manda hone se huA hai, ApakI zAMtise merI krUratA calI gaI aura merI gaNanA manuSyoMmeM hone lgii| yadi ApakA samAgama na hotA to na jAne merI kyA dazA hotI ? maiMne dravyasambandhI vyagratAkA kabhI anubhava nahIM kiyA, dAna denemeM mujhe saMkoca nahIM huA, vastrAdikoMke vyavahArameM kabhI kRpaNatA na kI, tIrthayAtrAdi karanekA puSkala avasara AyA 'ityAdi bhUrizaH Apake upakAra mere upara haiN| Apa jisa nirapekSavRtti se vratako pAlatI haiM maiM use kahane meM asamartha huuN| aura jaba ki maiM Apako guru mAnatA hU~ taba Apako vrata dU~ yaha kaise sambhava ho sakatA hai|' bAIjI ne kahA-'beTA! maiMne jo tumhArA poSaNa kiyA hai vaha kevala mere mohakA kArya hai| phira bhI merA yaha bhAva thA ki tujhe sAkSara dekhuuN| tUne par3hane meM parizrama For Personal & Private Use Only

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zikharajIkI yAtrA aura bAIjIkA vratagrahaNa nahIM kiyA / bahutase kArya prArambha kara diye / parantu upayoga sthira na kiyA / yadi eka kAmakA Arambha karatA to bahuta hI yaza pAtA / parantu jo bhavitavya hotA hai vaha durnivAra hai| tUne saptamI pratimA le lI, yaha bhI merI anumatike binA le lI, kevala brahamacarya pAlanese pratimA nahIM ho jAtI, 12 vratoMkA niraticAra pAlana bhI sAthameM karanA cAhie, tumhArI zaktiko maiM jAnatI hU~, parantu aba kyA ? jo kiyA so acchA kiyA, aba hama to tIna mAsa meM cale jAveMge, tuma Anandase vrata pAlanA, bhojanakA lAlaca na karanA, vegase Akara tyAga na karanA, caraNAnuyogakI avahelanA na karanA tathA Ayake anukUla vyaya krnaa| apanA dravya tyAgakara parakI AzA na karanA / , 'jo na kAhukA to dIna koTi hajAra / ' dUsarese lekara dAna karanekI paddhati acchI nhiiN| sabase prema rakhanA, jo tumhArA duzmana bhI ho use mitra samajhanA, nirantara svAdhyAya karanA, Alasya na karanA, yathAsamaya sAmAyikAdi karanA, galpavAda ke rasika na bananA, dravyakA sadupayoga isImeM hai ki yadvA tadvA vyaya nahIM karanA, hamAre sAtha jaisA krodha karate the vaisA anyake sAtha na karanA, sabakA vizvAsa na karanA, zAstroMkI vinaya karanA, cAhe likhita pustaka ho, cAhe mudrita ucca sthAnapara rakhakara par3hanA, jo gajaTa AveM unheM raddImeM na DAlanA, yadi unakI rakSA na kara sako to na mAMganA, hAthakI pustakoMko surakSita rakhanA aura jo navIna pustaka apUrva mudrita ho use likhavAkara sarasvatIbhavana meM rakhanA / 295 1 I yaha paJcamakAla hai| kucha dravya bhI nijakA rakhanA / nijakA tyAga kara parakI AzA rakhanA mahatI lajjA kI bAta hai / apanA de denA aura parase mA~ganekI abhilASA karanA ghora nindyA kArya hai| yogya pAtrako dAna denA / vivekazUnya dAnakI koI mahimA nahIM / lokapratiSThAke liye dhArmikakArya karanA jJAnI janoMkA kArya nahIM / jJAnIjana jo kArya karate haiM vaha apane pariNAmoMkI jAtiko dekhakara karate haiM / zAstrameM yadyapi muni zrAvaka dharmakA pUrNa vivecana hai tathApi jo zakti apanI ho usIke anusAra tyAga karanA / vyAkhyAna sunakara yA zAstra par3hakara Avegavaza zaktike bAhara tyAga na kara baiThanA / galpavAdameM samaya na khonA / prakaraNake anukUla zAstrakI vyAkhyA karanA / 'kahIMkI ITa kahIMkA ror3A bhAnumatIne kunabA jora' kI kahAvata caritArtha na karanA / zrotAoMkI yogyatA dekhakara zAstra bAcanA / samayakI avahelanA na karanA / nizcayako puSTa kara vyavahArakA uccheda na karanA, kyoMki yaha donoM paraspara sApekSa haiM / I For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 296 'nirapekSo nayo mithyA' yaha AcAryoMkA vacana hai| yadi dravyArthika aura paryAyArthika nayameM paraspara sApekSatA nahIM hai to unake dvArA arthakriyAkI siddhi nahIM ho sktii| inake sivAya eka yaha bAta bhI hamArI yAda rakhanA ki jisa kAlameM jo kAma karo, saba taraphase upayoga khIMca kara citta usImeM lagA do| jisa samaya zrI jinendradevakI pUjA meM upayoga lagA ho usa samaya svAdhyAyakI cintA na karo aura svAdhyAyake kAla meM pUjanakA vikalpa na kro| jo bAta na AtI ho usakA uttara na do, yahI uttara do ki hama nahIM jaante| jisako tuma samajha gaye ki hama galata kaha rahe the, zIghra kaha do hama vaha bAta mithyA kaha rahe the| pratiSThAke lie usakI puSTi mata kro| jo tattva tumheM abhrAnta AtA hai vaha dUsare se pU~cha kara use nIcA dikhAnekI ceSTA mata kro| vizeSa kyA kaheM ? jisa meM AtmAkA kalyANa ho vahI kArya krnaa| bhojanake samaya jo thAlI meM Ave use santoSapUrvaka khaao| koI vikalpa na kro| vratakI rakSA karaneke liye rasanA indriya para vijaya rkhnaa| vizeSa kucha nahIM / .......... __itanA kahakara bAIjIne zrIpArzvanAtha svAmIkI ToMkapara dvitIya pratimAke vrata liye aura yaha bhI vrata liyA ki jisa samaya merI samAdhi hogI usa samaya eka vastra rakhakara sabakA tyAga kara duuNgii| kSullikA veSameM hI prANa visarjana kruuNgii| yadi tIna mAsa jIvita rahI to sarvaparigrahakA tyAga kara navamI pratimAkA AcaraNa kruuNgii| he prabho pArzvanAtha! terI nirvANa bhUmipara pratijJA letI hU~, ise AjIvana nirvAha kruuNgii| kitane hI kaSTa kyoM na Ave sabako sahana kruuNgii| auSadhakA sevana maiMne Aja taka nahIM kiyaa| aba kevala sUkhI vanaspati ko chor3akara anya auSadhi sevanakA tyAga karatI huuN| vaise to maiMne 18 varSa kI avasthAse hI Aja taka eka bAra bhojana kiyA hai, kyoMki merI 18 varSa meM vaidhavya avasthA ho cukI thii| tabhIse mere eka bAra bhojana kA niyama thaa| aba Apake samakSa vidhipUrvaka usakA niyama letI huuN| merI yaha antima yAtrA hai| he prabho ! Aja taka merA jIva saMsArameM rulA isakA mUla kAraNa AtmIya-ajJAna thaa| parantu Aja tere caraNAmbuja prasAda se merA mana svapara jJAna meM samartha huaa| aba mujhe vizvAsa ho gayA ki maiM apanI saMsAra-aTavIko avazya kheduuNgii| mere Upara ananta saMsArakA jo bhAra thA, vaha Aja tere prasAdase utara gyaa| zrIbAIjIkI AtmakathA he prabho ! maiM eka aise kuTumbameM utpanna huI jo atyanta dhArmika thaa| mere For Personal & Private Use Only

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zrIbAIjIkI AtmakathA 297 pitA maujIlAla eka vyApArI the / zikohAbAdameM unakI dukAna thI / vaha jo kucha upArjana karate usakA tIna bhAga bundelakhaNDase jAnevAle garIba jainoMke lie dete the / unakI Aya cAra hajAra rupayA vArSika thI / eka hajAra rupayA gRhasthI kAryameM kharca hotA thA / eka bAra zrIgirirAjakI yAtrAke lie bahutase jainI jA rahe the| unhoMne zrImaujIlAlajIse kahA ki 'Apa bhI cliye| Apane uttara diyA ki mere pAsa cAra hajAra rupayA vArSika Aya hai, tIna hajAra rupayA maiM apane prAnta ke garIba logoMko de detA hU~ aura eka hajAra rupayA kuTumbake pAlanameM vyaya ho jAtA hai, isase nahIM jA sakatA / zrIbhagavAnkI yahI AjJA hai ki jIvoM para dayA karanA / usI siddhAnta kI mere dRr3ha zraddhA hai / jisa dina puSkala dravya ho jAvegA usa dina yAtrA kara AU~gA / ' 'mere pitAkA mere Upara bahuta sneha thA / merI zAdI simarA grAmake zrIyuta siM0 bhaiyAlAlajI ke sAtha huI thI / jaba merI avasthA aThAraha varSakI thI taba mere pati Adi giranArakI yAtrAko gye| pAvAgar3ha meM mere patikA svargavAsa ho gayA, maiM unake viyogameM bahuta khinna huI, saba kucha bhUla gaI / eka dina to yahA~taka vicAra AyA ki saMsArameM jIvana vyartha hai / aba mara jAnA hI duHkhase chUTanekA upAya hai| aisA vicAra kara kue~ke upara gaI aura vicAra kiyA ki usImeM girakara mara jAnA zreSTha hai / parantu usI kSaNa manameM vicAra AyA ki yadi maraNa na huA to apayaza hogA aura yadi koI aMga bhaMga ho gayA to Ajanma usakA kleza bhoganA par3egA; kue~se parAGmukha hokara DerApara A gaI aura dharmazAlAmeM jo mandira thA usImeM jAkara zrIbhagavAn se prArthanA karane lagI ki - he prabho ! eka to Apa haiM jinake smaraNa se jIvanakA ananta saMsAra chUTa jAtA hai aura eka maiM hU~ jo apamRtyu kara naraka mArgako sarala kara rahI huuN| 'he prabho ! yadi Aja mara jAtI to na jAne kisa gatimeM jAtI ? Aja maiM sakuzala lauTa AI to yaha ApakI hI anukampA hai| saMsAra meM aneka puruSa paraloka cale gye| unase mujhe koI duHkha nahIM huA para Aja pativiyoga ke kAraNa asahya vedanA ho rahI hai aura isakA kAraNa merI unameM mamatA buddhi thI / arthAt ye mere haiM aura maiM inakI hU~ yahI bhAva duHkhakA kAraNa thA / jaba tattvadRSTise dekhatI hU~ taba mamatA buddhikA kAraNa bhI ahambuddhi hai aisA spaSTa pratIta hone lagatA hai / arthAt 'ahamasmi'- jaba yaha buddhi rahatI hai ki maiM hU~ tabhI parameM 'yaha merA hai' yaha For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 298 buddhi hotI hai| isa prakAra vAstava meM ahambuddhi hI duHkha kA kAraNa hai| he bhagavan ! Aja tere samakSa yaha pratijJA karatI hU~ ki na merA koI hai aura na maiM kisIkI huuN| yaha jo zarIra dIkhatA hai vaha bhI merA nahIM hai, kyoMki dRzyamAna zarIra pudgalakA piNDa hai| taba merA kaunasA aMza usameM hai jisake ki sAtha maiM nAtA joDUM ? Aja merI bhrAnti dUra huii| jo maiMne pApa kiyA usakA Apake samakSa prAyazcita letI huuN| vaha yaha ki Ajanma eka bAra bhojana karU~gI, bhojana ke bAda do bAra pAnI piU~gI, amaryAdita vastu bhakSaNa na karU~gI, Apake pUjAke binA bhojana na karU~gI, rajodarzanake samaya bhojana na karU~gI, yadi vizeSa bAdhA huI to jalapAna kara lU~gI, yadi usase bhI saMtoSa na huA to rasoMkA tyAgakara nIrasa AhAra le lU~gI, pratidina zAstrakA svAdhyAya karU~gI, mere patikI jo sampatti hai use dharma kAryameM vyaya karU~gI; aSTamI, catudarzIkA upavAsa karU~gI yadi zaktihIna ho jAvegI to eka bAra nIrasa bhojana karU~gI, kevala cAra rasa bhojanameM rakhUgI, eka dinameM tInakA hI upayoga karU~gI|... isa prakAra AlocanA kara DerAmeM maiM A gaI aura sAsako, jo ki putrake virahameM bahuta hI khinna thIM sambodhA-mAtArAma ! jo honA thA vaha huA, aba kheda karanese kyA lAbha? ApakI sevA maiM karU~gI, Apa sAnanda dharmasAdhana kiijiye| yadi Apa kheda kareMgI to maiM sutarAM khinna hoU~gI, ataH Apa mujhe hI putra smjhiye| melAke loga isa prakAra merI bAta sunakara prasanna hue| __pAvAgar3hase giranAra jI gaye aura vahA~se jo tIrthamArgameM mile sabakI yAtrA karate hue simarA A gye| phira kyA thA ? saba kuTumbI A Akara mujhe pativiyogake duHkhakA smaraNa karAne lge| maiMne sabase sAntvanApUrvaka nivedana kiyA ki jo honA thA so ho gyaa| aba Apa loga unakA smaraNakara vyartha khinna mata huujiye| khinnatAkA pAtra to maiM hU~, parantu maiMne to yaha vicArakara santoSakara liyA ki parajanmameM jo kucha pApakarma maiMne kiye the yaha unhIMkA phala hai| paramArthase mere puNyakarma kA udaya hai| yahI unakA samAgama rahatA to nirantara Ayu viSaya bhogoMmeM jAtI, abhakSya bhakSaNa karatI aura daivayogase yadi santAna ho jAtI to nirantara usake mohameM paryAya bIta jaatii| AtmakalyANase vaMcita rahatI, jisa saMyamake artha satsamAgama aura moha manda hone kI AvazyakatA hai tathA sabase kaThina brahmacarya vratakA pAlana karanA hai vaha vrata mere patike viyoga se anAyAsa ho gyaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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zrIbAIjIkI AtmakathA 299 jisa parigrahake tyAgake lie acche-acche jIva tarasate haiM aura marate-marate usase vimukta nahIM ho pAte, pati ke viyogase vaha vrata mere sahajameM ho gayA / maiMne niyama liyA ki jo sampatti mere pAsa hai usase adhika nahIM rakhU~gI tathA yaha bhI niyama kiyA ki mere patikI jo pacAsa hajAra rupayAkI sAhukArI hai usameM sau rupayA taka jina kisAnoM ke Upara hai vaha saba maiM chor3atI hU~ tathA sau rupayAse Age jinake Upara hai unakA byAja chor3atI huuN| ve apanI rakama binA byAja ke adA kara sakate haiM / Ajase eka niyama yaha bhI letI hU~ ki jo kucha rupayA kisAnoM se AvegA use saMgraha na karU~gI, dharmakArya aura bhojanameM vyaya kara duuNgii| Apa logoMse merI sAdara prArthanA hai ki Ajase yadi Apa loga mere yahA~ AveM to dopahara bAda AyeM, prAtaHkAla kA samaya maiM dharma kAryameM lagAU~gI | .. kRSaka mahAzaya merI isa pravRttise bahuta prasanna hue / idhara rAjyameM yaha vArtA phaila gaI ki simarAvAlI siMghainakA pati gujara gayA hai, ataH usakA dhana rAjyameM lenA cAhiye aura usakI paravarizake liye tIsa rUpayA mAsika denA cAhiye / kintu jaba rAjadarabAra meM yaha sunA gayA ki vaha to dharmamaya jIvana bitA rahI hai jaba rAjyase tahasIladArako paravAnA AyA ki usakI rakSAkI jAve, usakA dhana usIko diyA jAve aura jo kisAna na de vaha rAjyase vasUlakara usako diyA jaave|... isa prakAra dhanakI rakSA anAyAsa ho gii| isake bAda maiMne simarAke mandirameM saMgamaramarakI vedI lagavAI aura unakI pratiSThA bar3e samArohake sAtha krvaaii| do hajAra manuSyoMkA samAroha huA tIna dina paMkti bhojana huaa| dUsare varSa zikharajIkI yAtrA kI / isa prakAra Anandase dharma dhyAnameM samaya bItane lgaa| eka caturmAsa meM zrIyuta mohanalAla kSullakakA samAgama rahA / pratidina dasa yA pandraha yAtrI Ane lage, yathAzakti unakA Adara karatI thI / isI bIca meM zrI gaNezaprasAda mAsTara jatArAse aayaa| usake sAthameM paM. kar3orelAla bhAyajI tathA paM. motIlAlajI varNI bhI the| usa samaya gaNezaprasAdakI umara bIsa varSakI hogI / usako dekhakara merA usameM putravat sneha ho gyaa| mere stanase dugdhadhArA baha niklii| mujhe Azcarya huA, aisA lagane lagA mAnoM janmAntara kA yaha merA putra hI hai| usa dinase maiM use putravat pAlane lagI / vaha atyanta sarala prakRtikA thA / maiMne usI dina dRr3ha saMkalpakara liyA ki jo kucha mere pAsa hai vaha saba isIkA hai aura apane usa saMkalpa ke anusAra maiMne usakA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 300 pAlana kiyaa| usane chA~cha mA~gI, maiMne rabar3I dI / yadyapi isakI prakRti sarala thI to bhI bIcameM ise krodha A jAtA thA, parantu maiM sahana karatI gaI, kyoMki eka bAra ise putravat mAna cukI thI / eka dinakI bAta hai maiM A~kha kamajora honese usameM motI kA aMjana lagA rahI thii| gaNezaprasAdane kahA- 'mA~ ! maiM bhI lagAtA huuN|' maiMne kahA - 'beTA tere yogya nahIM / ' parantu vaha nahIM maanaa| lagAnese usakI A~khameM kucha pIr3A dene lagA, A~kha A~suoMse bhara gaI aura gussemeM Akara usane zIzI phor3a DAlI, solaha rupayAkA nuksAna huA / maiMne kahA - 'beTA ! nuksAna kisakA huA ? phira dUsarI zIzI ma~gAo / ' eka bAta isameM sabase uttama yaha thI ki duHkhI AdamIko dekhakara 'usake upakArakI ceSTA karanemeM nahIM cUkatA thA / yadi isake pahinanekA bhI vastra hotA aura kisIko AvazyakatA hotI to yaha de detA thaa| eka bAra yaha zikharajImeM prAtaHkAla zaucAdi kriyAko gayA thA, mArgameM eka bur3hiyA ThaNDase kA~pa rahI thI / yaha jo caddara or3he thA use de AyA aura kA~patA- kA~patA dharmazAlA meM aayaa| maiMne kahA- caddara kahA~ hai ?' bolA- 'eka bur3hiyAko de AyA huuN|' eka bAra isako maiMne chaha sau rupayekI hIrAkI a~gUThI banavA dii| isane apane guru ambAdAsa zAstrI ko de dI aura mujhase chaha mAsa taka nahIM kahA / bhaya bhI karatA thA / antameM maiMne jaba jora dekara kahA ki aMgUThI kahA~ hai ? taba bolA vaha to maiMne aSTasahasrI pUrNa honekI khuzImeM zAstrIjIko de dI.... isa taraha merI jo Aya hotI thI vaha prAyaH isIke kharcameM jAtI thI / kucha dinake bAda maiM simarA chor3akara baruAsAgara A gaI, kisAnoM ke Upara jo karja thA saba chor3a diyA aura mere rahanekA jo makAna thA vaha mandirako de diyA / kevala dasa hajArakI sampatti lekara simarAse baruAsAgara A gaI aura sarrApha mUlacandrajIke yahA~ rahane lgii| ve sau rupayA mAsika byAja upArjana kara mujhe dene lage / kucha dina bAda sAgara AgaI aura si. bAlacandrajI savAlanavIsake makAna meM rahane lagI / Anandase dina bIte / yahA~ para siMghaI maujIlAlajI bar3e dharmAtmA puruSa the| vaha nirantara mujhe zAstra sunAne lge| kaTarAmeM prAyaH golApUrvasamAjake ghara haiM / prAyaH sabhI dhArmika haiM / yahA~ para strI samAjakA mere For Personal & Private Use Only

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bAIjI kI AtmakathA 301 | sAtha ghaniSTa sambandha ho gayA / yahA~ adhikAMza gharoM meM zuddha bhojana kI prakriyA hai| maiM jisa makAna meM rahatI thI usImeM kundanalAla ghIvAle bhI rahate the, jo eka vilakSaNa pratibhAzAlI vyakti the / isa prakAra merA tIsa varSakA kAla sAgarameM Ananda se bItA / anta meM kaTarA saMghake sAtha yaha merI antima yAtrA hai / merA adhikAMza jIvana dharmadhyAnameM hI gayA / merI zraddhA jainadharmameM hI Ajanmase rahI / paryAya bharameM maiMne kabhI kudevakA sevana nahIM kiyA / kevala isa bAlakake sAtha merA sneha ho gayA / so usameM bhI merA yahI abhiprAya rahA ki yaha manuSya ho jAve aura isake dvArA jIvoMkA kalyANa ho / merA bhAva yaha kabhI nahIM rahA ki vRddhAvasthAmeM yaha merI sevA karegA / astu, merA kartavya thA, ataH usakA pAlana kiyA / 1 he prabho ! yaha merI AtmakathA hai jo ki Apake jJAnameM yadyapi pratibhAsita hai tathApi maiMne nivedana kara dI, kyoMki Apake smaraNase kalyANa kA mArga sulabha ho jAtA hai, aisA merA vizvAsa hai / ... ityAdi AlocanA kara bAIjIne vrata grahaNa kiyA phira vahA~se calakara hama saba terApanthI koThImeM Agaye / yahA~ para paM. pannAlAlajIne kahA ki 'bAIjIkA svAsthya acchA nahIM, ataH yahIM para raha jAo / hama saba unakI vaiyAvRttya kareMge / parantu bAIjIne kahA- 'nahIM, yadyapi sthAna uttama hai, parantu sarvasAdhana nahIM / ataH maiM jAU~gI / vahA~ hI sarvasAdhana kI yogyatA hai / do dina rahakara gayA Aye / yahA~ para zrI I bAbU kanhaiyAlAlajIne bahuta Agraha kiyA, ataH do dina yahA~ rahanA pdd'aa| zrI bAIjI kA nimantraNa bAbU kanhaiyAlAlajIke yahA~ thaa| unakI dharmapatnIne bAIjIkA samyak prakArase svAgata kiyA / bAIjIkI ceSTA dekhakara use ekadama bhAva ho gayA ki aba bAIjIkA jIvana thor3e dinakA hai| usane ekAntameM mujhe bulAkara kahA ki 'varNIjI ! maiM Apako bar3A mAnatI hU~, parantu eka bAta Apake hitakI kahatI hU~ / vaha yaha ki jaba taka bAIjIkA svAsthya acchA na ho unheM chor3akara kahIM nahIM jAnA, anyathA Ajanma Apako kheda rhegaa| maiMne unakI AjJA zirodhArya kI / vahA~se kaTanI aaye| zvAsaroga bAIjIko dina-dina trAsa dene lagA / kaTanImeM mandiroM ke darzanakara sAgarake liye ravAnA ho gaye aura sAgara Akara yathAsthAna dharmazAlAmeM rahane lage / For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 302 bAIjI kA samAdhimaraNa bAIjIkA svAsthya pratidina zithila hone lgaa| maiMne bAIjIse Agraha kiyA ki ApakI antarvyavasthA jAnaneke lie DAkTarase ApakA phoTo (eksarA) utaravA liyA jaave| bAIjIne svIkAra nahIM kiyaa| eka dina maiM aura varNI motIlAlajI baiThe the| bAIjIne kahA 'bhaiyA ! maiM zikharajImeM pratijJA kara AI hU~ ki koI bhI sacitta padArtha nahIM khaauuNgii| phala Adi cAhe sacitta hoM; cAhe acitta hoM; nahIM khaauuNgii| davAI meM koI rasa nahIM khaauuNgii| gehUM, daliyA, ghI aura namakako chor3akara kucha na khaauuNgii| davAImeM alasI, ajavAina aura harI chor3akara anya kucha na khaauuNgii| usI samaya unhoMne zarIra para jo AbhUSaNa the utAra diye, bAla kaTavA diye, eka bAra bhojana aura eka bAra pAnI pInekA niyama kara liyaa| prAtaHkAla mandira jAnA, vahA~se Akara zAstra svAdhyAya karanA, pazcAt dasa baje eka chaTAka daliyAkA bhojana karanA, zAmako cAra baje pAnI pInA aura dina bhara svAdhyAya karanA yahI unakA kArya thaa| yadi koI anya kathA karatA to ve use spaSTa Adeza detIM ki bAhara cale jaao| pandraha dina bAda jaba mandira jAnekI zakti na rahI taba hamane eka ThelA banavA liyA, usImeM unako mandira le jAte the| pandraha dina bAda vaha bhI chUTa gayA, kahane lagI ki hameM jAnemeM kaSTa hotA hai| ataH yahIMse pUjA kara liyA kreNge| hama prAtaHkAla maMdirase aSTadravya lAte the aura bAIjI eka caukIpara baiThe-baiThe pUjana pATha karatI thiiN| maiM 6 baje daliyA banAtA thA aura bAIjI dasa baje bhojana karatI thiiN| eka mAsa bAda Adha chaTAka bhojana raha gayA, phira bhI unakI zravaNazakti jyoMkI tyoM thii| zvAsaroga ke kAraNa bAIjI leTa nahIM sakatI thIM, kevala eka takiyAke sahAre caubIsa ghaNTA baiThI rahatI thiiN| kabhI maiM, kabhI mulAbAI, kabhI varNI motIlAlajI. kabhI paM0 dayAcandrajI aura kabhI lokamaNi dAu zAhapura nirantara bAIjIko dharmazAstra sunAte rahate the| bAIjI ko koI vyagratA na thii| unhoMne kabhI roga vaza 'hAya hAya' yA 'he prabho kyA kareM' yA 'jaldI maraNa A jAo' yA koI aisI auSadhi mila jAve jisase maiM zIghra hI niroga ho jAu~ aise zabda uccAraNa nahIM kiye| yadi koI AtA aura pUchatA ki 'bAIjI ! kaisI tabiyata hai?' to bAIjI yahI uttara detIM ki 'yaha pUchanekI apekSA Apako jo pATha AtA ho sunAo, vyartha bAta mata kro|' eka dina maiM eka vaidyako lAyA jo atyanta prasiddha thaa| vaha bAIjI kA For Personal & Private Use Only

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bAIjI kA samAdhimaraNa 303 hAtha dekhakara bolA ki davAI khAnese acchA ho sakatA hai|' bAIjIne kahA'kaba taka acchA hogA? usane kahA-'yaha hama nahIM jaante'| bAIjIne kahA'to mahArAja jAiye aura apanI phIsa le jAiye, mujhe na koI roga hai aura na koI upacAra cAhatI huuN| jo zarIra pAyA vaha avazya bItegA, pacahattara varSakI Ayu bIta gaI, aba to avazya jaavegii| isake rakhane kI na to icchA hai aura na hI hamArI rAkhI raha sakatI hai| jo cIja utpanna hotI hai usakA nAza avazyambhAvI hai| kheda isa bAtakA hai ki yaha nahIM maantaa| kabhI vaidyako lAtA hai aura kabhI hkiimko| maiM auSadhikA niSedha nahIM krtii| mere niyama hai ki auSadha nahIM khaanaa| do mAsa meM paryAya chuTa jaavegii| isase jahA~ taka bane paramAtmAkA smaraNa kara lU~, yahI paralokameM sAtha jaavegaa| janmabhara isakA sahavAsa rhaa| isake sahavAsase tIrtha yAtrAe~ kI, vrata tapa kiye, svAdhyAya kiyA, dharmakAryoM meM sahakArI jAna isakI rakSA kii| parantu aba yaha rahanekI nahIM, ataH isase na hamArA prema hai na dveSa hai|' vaidyane mujhase kahA ki 'bAIjIkA jIva koI mahAn AtmA hai| aba Apa bhUlakara bhI kisI vaidyako na lAnA, inakA zarIra eka mAsameM chUTa jaavegaa| maiMne aisA rogI Aja taka nahIM dekhaa|' yaha kaha vaidyarAja cale gye| unake jAneke bAda bAIjI bolI ki 'tumhArI buddhiko kyA kahe ? jo rUpayA vaidyarAjako diyaa| yadi usIkA anna maeNgAkara garIboMko bA~Ta dete to acchA hotaa| aba vaidyako na bulaanaa|' . ___ bAIjIkA zarIra pratidina zithila hotA gyaa| parantu unakI svAdhyAyaruci aura jJAnalipsA kama nahIM huii| eka dina bInAke zrInanda lAlajI Aye aura mujhase mukadamA sambandhI bAta karane lge| bAIjIne tapaka kara kahA-'bhaiyA ! yahA~ adAlata nahIM athavA vakIlakA ghara nahIM jo Apa mukadamAkI bAta kara rahe ho, kRpayA bAhara jAiye aura mujhase bhI kahA ki bAhara jAkara bAta kara lo, yahA~ phAlatU bAta mata kro|... isa taraha bAIjIkI dinacaryA vyatIta hone lgii| bAIjIko nidrA nahIM AtI thii| kevala rAtrike do baje bAda kucha Alasya AtA thaa| hamaloga rAtri-dina unakI vaiyyAvRtyameM lage rahate the| jaba bAIjIkI AyukA eka mAsa zeSa rahA taba eka dina zrIlampUlAlajI ghIvAloMne pUchA ki 'bAIjI Apako koI zalya to nahIM hai|' bAIjI ne kahA 'aba koI zalya nhiiN| para kucha dina pahale eka zalya avazya thii| vaha yaha ki bAlaka For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 304 gaNezaprasAda jise ki maiMne putravat pAlA hai, yadi apane pAsa kucha dravya rakha letA to ise kaSTa na uThAnA pdd'taa| maiMne ise samajhAyA bhI bahuta, parantu ise dravyarakSA karanekI buddhi nhiiN| maiMne jaba jaba ise diyA isane paoNca yA sAta dinameM saphA kara diyaa| maiMne Ajanma isakA nirvAha kiyaa| aba merA anta ho rahA hai, isakI yaha jAne, mujhe zalya nhiiN| mere pAsa jo kucha thA ise de diyaa| eka paisA bhI maiMne parigraha nahIM rakkhA / maiM Apako vizvAsa dilAtI hU~ ki mere maraneke bAda yaha eka dina bhI merI dI huI dravya nahIM rakha skegaa| parantu acche kAryameM lagAvegA, asat kAryameM nhiiN|' zrI lampUlAlajIne kahA ki 'phira inakA nirvAha kaise hogA ?' bAIjane kahA ki 'acchI taraha hogaa| jaise merA inake sAtha koI jAti sambandha nahI thA, phira bhI maiMne ise Ajanma putravat pAlA vaise inake nimitta se anya koI mila jaavegaa| isakI paryAyagata yogyatA bar3I balavatI hai|' bAIjIkI bAta sunakara lampU bhaiyA ha~sa gaye aura unake bAda siMghaIjI bhI aaye| ve bhI ha~sakara cale gye| eka dina maiMne bAIjIse kahA-'bAIjI yaha zAMtibAI prANapanase ApakI vaiyyAvRtya karatI hai, ise kucha denA caahie|' bAIjIne kahA-'tumhArI jo icchA ho so de do| maiM to dravya kA tyAga kara cukI huuN|' jaba AyumeM dasa dina raha gaye taba bAIjIne mujhase kahA-'beTA ! ekAntameM kucha kahanA hai| maiM do baje dinako unake pAsa jAkara baiTha gayA aura bolA-'bAIjI ! maiM A gayA, kyA AjJA hai ? bAIjI bolI-'saMsArameM jahA~ saMyoga hai vahA~ viyoga hai| hamane tumheM cAlIsa varSa putravat pAlA hai yaha tuma acchI taraha jAnate ho| itane dIrghakAlameM hamase yadi kisI prakArakA aparAdha huA ho to use kSamA karanA aura beTA ! maiM kSamA karatI hU~ athavA kyA kSamA karU~, maiMne hadayase kabhI bhI kaSTa nahIM pahu~cAyA / aba merI antima yAtrA hai, koI zalya na rahe isase Aja tumheM kaSTa diyA / yadyapi maiM jAnatI hU~ ki terA hRdaya itanA baliSTha nahIM ki isakA uttara kucha degaa|' ___maiM sacamuca hI kucha uttara na de sakA, rudana karane lagA, hilahilI Ane lagI bAIjIne kahA-'beTA jAo bAjArase phala lAo' aura lalitAse kahA ki 'bhaiyAko pA~ca rupayA de de, phala laave| mujhe vahA~se kahA ki 'jAo', maiM Upara gyaa| mulAbAIne mujhe dekhA, merI rudana avasthA dekha nIce gii| bAIjIne kahA-'mulA nATakasamayasAra sunaao|' vaha sunAne lgii| tIna yA cAra For Personal & Private Use Only

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bAIjI kA samAdhimaraNa 305 chanda sanAneke bAda vaha bhI rudana karane lgii| bAIjIne kahA 'mulA ! Upara jaao|' vaha Upara calI gii| jaba zAntibAIne use rote dekhA taba vaha bhI bAIjIke pAsa gaI bAIjIne kahA-'zAnti samAdhimaraNa sunaao|' vaha bhI eka do minaTa bAda pATha karatI-karatI rone lgii| maiM jaba bAjAra gayA taba zrI siMghaIjI mile| unhoMne merA badana malIna dekhA aura pUchA ki 'bAIjI kI tabiyata kaisI hai ? maiMne kahA-'acchI hai|' ve bAIjIke pAsa gye| bAIjIne kahA-'siMghaI bhaiyA ! anuprekSA sunaao|' ve anuprekSA sunAne lge| parantu thor3I derameM sunAnA bhUlakara rudana karane lge| isa prakAra jo jo Ave vahI rone lge| taba bAIjIne kahA-'Apa logoMkA sAhasa itanA durbala hai ki Apa kisIkI samAdhi karAneke pAtra nhiiN|' isa prakAra bAIjIkA sAhasa pratidina bar3hatA gyaa| isake bAda bAIjIne kevala AdhI chaTAka daliyAkA AhAra rakkhA aura jo dUsarI bAra pAnI pItI thI vaha bhI chor3a diyaa| saba granthoM kA zravaNa chor3a kara kevala ratnakaraNDazrAvakAcArameMse solahakAraNa bhAvanA, dazadhA dharma, dvAdazAnuprekSA aura samAdhimaraNakA pATha sunane lgiiN| jaba Ayuke do dina raha gaye taba daliyA bhI chor3a diyA, kevala pAnI rakkhA aura jisa dina AyukA avasAna honevAlA thA usa dina jala bhI chor3a diyaa| usa dina unakA bolanA banda ho gyaa| maiM bAIjIkI smRti dekhaneke lie mandirase pUjanakA dravya lAyA aura argha banAkara bAIjIko dene lgaa| unhoMne dravya nahIM liyA aura hAthakA izArAkara jala maaNgaa| unhoMne hasta prakSAlanakara gandhodhakakI vandanA kii| maiM phira ardha dene lagA to phira unhoMne hAtha prakSAlanake lie jala maaNgaa| pazcAt hasta prakSAlanakara argha cddh'aayaa| phira hAtha dhokara baiTha gaI aura sileTa maaNgii| maiMne sileTa de dii| usapara unhoMne likhA ki 'tuma loga Anandase bhojana kro|' bAIjI tIna mAsase leTa nahIM sakatI thiiN| usa dina paira pasAra kara so giiN| mujhe bar3I prasannatA huii| maiMne samajhA ki Aja bAIjIko ArAma ho gyaa| aba inakA svAsthya pratidina acchA hone lgegaa| isa khuzImeM usa dina hamane sAnanda viziSTa bhojana kiyaa| do baje paM. motIlAlajI varNIse kahA ki 'bAIjI kI tabiyata acchI hai, ataH ghUmaneke lie jAtA huuN|' varNIjIne kahA ki 'tuma atyanta mUr3ha ho| yaha accheke cihna nahIM hai, avasara ke cihna haiN|' maiMne kahA-'tuma bar3e dhanvantari ho| mujhe to yaha AzA hai ki aba bAIjIko ArAma For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 306 hogaa|' varNIjI bole-'tumhArA-sA durbodha AdamI maiMne nahIM dekhaa| dekho, hamArI bAta mAno Aja kahIM mata jaao| maiMne kahA-Aja to itane dina bAda avasara milA hai aura Aja hI Apa rokate haiN|' kucha dera taka hama donoMmeM aisA vivAda calatA rhaa| antameM maiM sAr3he tIna baje jalapAna kara grAmake bAhara calA gyaa| eka bAga meM jAkara nAnA vikalpa karane lagA-'he prabho ! hamane jahA~ taka banI bAIjIkI sevA kI, parantu unheM ArAma nahIM milaa| Aja unakA svAsthya kucha acchA mAlUma hotA hai| yadi unakI Ayu pUrNa ho gaI to mujhe kucha nahIM sUjhatA ki kyA karU~gA? inhIM vikalpoM meM zAma ho gaI, ataH sAmAyika karake kaTarAke mandira meM calA gyaa| vahA~ para zAstra-pravacana hotA thA, ataH 6 baje taka zAstra zravaNa karatA rhaa| sAr3he nau baje bAIjI ke pAsa pahu~cA to kyA dekhatA hU~ ki koI to samAdhimaraNa pATha par3ha rahA hai aura koI 'rAjA rANA chatrapati' par3ha rahA hai| maiM ekadama bhItara gayA aura bAIjIkA hAtha pakar3a kara pUchane lagA-'bAIjI siddha parameSThIkA smaraNa karo' bAIjI bolI-bhaiyA ! kara rahe haiM, tuma bAhara jaao|' mujhe bar3I prasannatA huI ki aba to bAIjI kI tabiyata acchI hai| maiM sAnanda bAhara A gayA aura upasthita mahAzayoMse kahane lagA ki 'bAIjI acchI haiN| saba loga ha~sane lge| maiM jaba bAhara AyA taba bAIjIne motIlAlajIse kahA ki 'aba hamako biThA do|' unhoMne bAIjIko baiThA diyaa| bAIjIne donoM hAtha jor3e 'oM siddhAya namaH' kaha kara prANa tyAga diye| varNIjIne mujhe bulAyA-'zIghra Ao' | maiMne kahA-'abhI to bAIjIse merI bAtacIta huii| maiMne pUchA thA-siddha bhagavAnkA smaraNa hai| uttara milA thA hA~, tuma bAhara jaao| aba maiM unakI AjJAkA ullaMghana nahIM kara sakatA thaa|' varNIjIne kahA ki 'AjJA denevAlI bAIjI aba kahIM calIM gaI ?' kyA Upara gaI haiM ?' varNIjI bole-'bar3e buddha ho| are vaha to samAdhimaraNa kara svarga sidhAra gii| jaldI Ao unakA antima zava to dekho kaisA nizcala Asana lagAye baiThI haiM ?' maiM andara gayA, sacamuca hI bAIjIkA jIva nikala gayA thA ? sirpha zava baiThA thaa| dekhakara azaraNa bhAvanAkA smaraNa ho AyA 'rAjA rANA chatrapati hAthina ke asvaar| maranA sabako eka dina apanI apanI baar|| For Personal & Private Use Only

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bAIjI kA samAdhimaraNa 307 dalabala devI devatA mAta pitA privaar| maratI viriyA jIvako koI na rAkhana hAra / / ' usI samaya kArtikeya svAmIke zabdoM para smaraNa jA pahu~cA jaM kiMci vi uppaNNaM tassa viNAso havei NiyameNa / pariNAmasarUveNa vi Na ya kiM pi vi sAsayaM atthi / / sIhammakaye paDiyaM sAraMga jaha Na rakkhae ko vi| taha miccuNA vi gahiyaM jIvaM pi Na rakkhae ko vi||' jo koI vastu utpanna hotI hai usakA vinAza niyamase hotA hai| paryAyarUpa kara koI bhI vastu zAzvata nahIM hai| siMhake pairake nIce Aye mRgakI jaise koI rakSA nahIM kara sktaa| usI prakAra mRtyu ke dvArA gRhIta isa jIvakI koI rakSA nahIM kara sktaa| isakA tAtparya yaha hai ki paryAya jisa kAraNakUTa se hotI hai usake abhAva meM vaha nahIM raha sktii| prANIke andara eka Ayu prANa hai usakA abhAva hone para eka samaya bhI jIva nahIM raha sktaa| anya kI kathA chor3o, svargake devendra bhI AyukA avasara hone para eka samayamAtra bhI svargameM Thaharaneke lie asamartha haiN| athavA devendroMkI kathA chor3o, zrItIrthaMkara bhI manuSyAyu kA avasAna honepara "eka sekeNDa' bhI nahIM raha skte| yaha bAta yadyapi AbAlavRddha vidita hai, phira bhI paryAya ke rakhaneke liye manuSyoM dvArA bar3e-bar3e prayatna kiye jAte haiN| yaha saba paryAyabuddhikA phala hai| isakA bhI mUlakAraNa vahI hai ki jo saMsAra banAye hue hai| jinheM saMsAra miTAnA ho unheM isa para vijaya prApta karanA caahie| 'heuabhAve NiyamA NANissa aasvnniroho| AsavabhAveNa viNA jAyadi kammassa viNa nniroho|| kammassAbhAveNa ya NokammANaM pi jAyai nniroho| NokammaNiroheNa ya saMsAraNirohaNaM hoi|| saMsAra ke kAraNa mithyAtva, ajJAna, avirati aura yoga ye cAra haiN| inake abhAvameM jJAnI jIvake AsravakA abhAva hotA hai| jaba AsravabhAvakA abhAva ho jAtA hai taba jJAnAvaraNAdi karmoMkA abhAva ho jAtA hai aura jaba karmoMkA abhAva ho jAtA hai taba nokarma-zarIrakA bhI abhAva ho jAtA hai evaM jaba audArikAdi zarIroMkA abhAva ho jAtA hai taba saMsArakA abhAva ho jAtA hai.. isa taraha yaha prakriyA anAdise ho rahI hai aura jaba tattvajJAna ho jAtA hai taba yaha prakriyA apane Apa lupta ho jAtI hai, svAbhAvika prakriyA hone lagatI hai| paryAya kSaNabhaMgura saMsArameM bhI hai aura mukti meM bhI hai| bAIjIkA zava dekhakara maiM to citrAmakA-sA putalA ho gyaa| varNIjIne For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 308 kahA ki 'khar3e rahanekA kAma nhiiN'| maiMne kahA-'to kyA ronekA kAma hai ?' varNIjI bole-'tumako to cuhala sUjha rahI hai| are are jaldI karo aura unake zavakA dAha Adha ghaNTemeM kara do, anyathA sammUrchana trasa jIvoMkI utpatti hone lgegii| maiM to kiMkartavyake UhApoha meM pAgala thA, parantu varNIjIke AdezAnusAra zIghra hI bAIjI kI arthI banAnemeM vyasta ho gyaa| itane meM zrImAna paM. munnAlAlajI, zrI hotIlAlajI, paM. mUlacandrajI Adi Agaye aura sabakA yaha maMsUbA huA ki vimAna banAyA jaave| maiMne kahA ki "vimAna banAnekI AvazyakatA nhiiN| zavako zIghra hI zmazAna bhUmimeM le jAnA acchA hai|' kaTarAmeM zrIyuta siMghaI rAjArAmajI aura maujIlAlajI kI dukAnase candana A gyaa| zrIyuta rAmacaraNalAlajI bhI A gye| Apane bhI kahA 'zIghratA kro|' hama logoMne 15 minaTake bAda zava utthaayaa| usa samaya rAtrike dasa baje the| bAIjIke svargavAsakA samAcAra bijalIkI taraha ekadama bAjArameM phaila gayA aura zmazAna bhUmimeM pahu~cate pahu~cate bahuta bar3I bhIr3a ho gii| ___ bAIjIkA dAha saMskAra zrIrAmacaraNalAlajI caudharIke bhAI ne kiyaa| citA dhU dhU kara jalane lagI aura Adha ghaNTemeM zava jala kara khAka ho gyaa| mere cittameM bahuta hI pazcAttApa huaa| hRdaya roneko cAhatA thA, para lokalajjAke kAraNa ro nahIM sakatA thaa| jaba vahA~se saba loga calane ko hue taba maiMne saba bhAIyoMse kahA ki-'saMsArameM jo janmatA hai usakA maraNa avazya hotA hai| jisakA saMyoga hai usakA viyoga avazyaMbhAvI hai| merA bAIjIke sAtha cAlIsa varSase saMbaMdha hai| unhoMne mujhe putravat pAlA / Aja merI dazA mAtA vihIna putravat ho gaI hai| kintu bAIjIke upadezake kAraNa maiM itanA duHkhI nahIM hU~ jitanA ki putra ho jAtA hai| unhoMne mere lie apanA sarvasva de diyaa| Aja maiM jo kucha unhoMne mujhe diyA sabakA tyAga karatA hU~ aura merA sneha banArasa vidyAlayase hai, ataH kala hI banArasa bheja duuNgaa| aba maiM usa dravyameMse pAva AnA bhI apane kharcameM na lgaauuNgaa|' zrIsiMghaI kundanalAlajIne kahA ki 'acchA kiyA, cintAkI bAta nhiiN| maiM ApakA huuN| jo Apako AvazyakatA par3e merese pUrI karanA / .... ..... isa taraha zmazAnase sarovara para aaye| saba manuSyoMne snAna kara apane-apane gharakA mArga liyaa| kaI mahAzaya mujhe dharmazAlAmeM pahu~cA gye| yahA~ para Ate hI zAnti, mulA aura lalitA rudana karane lgiiN| pazcAt zAnta ho giiN| maiM bhI so gayA, parantu nIMda nahIM AI, raha-raha kara bAIjIkA smaraNa Ane lgaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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samAdhi ke bAda samAdhi ke bAda jaba kisIkA iSTa viyoga hotA thA to maiM samajhAne lagatA thA ki bhAI ! yaha saMsAra hai| isakA yahI svarUpa hai| jisakA saMyoga hotA hai usakA viyoga avazya hotA hai, ataH zoka karanA vyartha hai / para bAIjIkA viyoga hone para maiM svayaM zoka karane lgaa| loka lajjAke kAraNa yadyapi zokake cihna vAhyameM prakaTa nahIM ho pAte the, parantu aMtaraMgameM adhika vedanA rahatI thii| isase siddha hotA hai ki yaha mohakA saMskAra bar3A prabala hai / gharameM rahanese citta nirantara azAnta rahatA thA, ataH dinake samaya kisI bAgameM calA jAtA thA aura rAtriko pustakAvalokana karatA rahatA thaa| merA jo pustakAlaya thA vaha maiMne syAdvAda vidyAlaya banArasa ko de diyaa| tIna dinake bAda lalitA bolI- hama bAIjIkA maraNabhoja kreNge| maiMne kahA--'aba yaha prathA banda ho rahI hai, ataH tumheM bhI nahIM karanA caahie| vaha bolI- 'ThIka hai parantu hama to kevala unhIMke smaraNake liye unhIMkA dhana bhojanameM lagAte haiN| Apake pAsa jo thA use to Apa syAdvAda vidyAlayako dAna kara cuke / aba hamAre pAsa jo hai use lgaaveNge| unakI Ayu 75 varSakI thI aura abhI vRddhajanoMkA maraNabhoja prAyaH sarvatra cAlU hai, ataH Apa hameM yaha kArya karane diijie|' maiM cupa raha gayA / lalitAne eka hajAra manuSyoMkA bhojana banavAyA aura bArahaveM dina khilAyA, vidyAlayake chAtroMko bhI bhojana karAyA, anAthAlayake bAlaka-bAlikAoM ko bhI bhojana diyA tathA jitane mA~ganevAle (bhikhArI) Aye una sabako bhojana diyA / pazcAt jo bacA use palledAroM ko jo siMghaIjI Adi kI dukAnoM para kAma karate the, de diyaa| phira bhI jo bacA vaha bAIjI kA kAma karanevAlI auratoM ko bA~Ta diyA / 309 bAraha dina bAda bAIjIke jo vastrAdi the ve lalitA aura zAntibAIko de diye| ise bA~TanemeM lalitA aura zAntimeM paraspara manomAlinya ho gayA / vAstavameM parigraha hI pApakI jar3a hai| lalitAne eka dina mujhase kahA- 'bhaiyA ! ekAntameM clo|' maiM gayA taba eka DabuliyA usane dii| usameM 500 kA mAla thaa| usane kahA - 'bAIjI mujhe de gaI haiN|' maiMne kahA - 'tuma rakkho / usane kahA - 'mujhe AvazyakatA nahIM / na jAne kauna curA le jAegA ?' ina kAryoM se nizcinta hokara maiM rahane lagA, parantu upayoga nahIM lagatA thaa| mulAbAIne bahuta samajhAyA- bhaiyA ! aba cintA chodd'o| bAIjI to For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 310 gaI, maiM Apako bhojana banAkara khilaauuNgii|' maiMne kahA-'mulAbAI ! mere pAsa jo kucha thA vaha to maiM de cukaa| aba mere pAsa eka paisA bhI nahIM hai, kisIse mA~gane kI Adata nhiiN| yadyapi siMghaIjI saba kucha karane ko taiyAra haiM, parantu mA~ganemeM lajjA AtI hai|' sAntvanA detI huI mulAbAI bolI-'bhaiyA ! kucha cintA mata kro| mere pAsa jo kucha hai usase Apa nirvAha kriye| bahuta kucha hai| maiMne Apako bar3A bhAI mAnA hai| Akhira merA dhana kaba kAma AvegA ? mere kauna baiThA hai ?..... ityAdi bahuta kucha sAntvanA usane dI parantu cittakI udAsInatA na gii| eka dina vicAra kiyA ki yadi yahA~se droNagiri calA jAU~ to vahA~ zAnti milegii| vicArakara moTara sTeNDapara aayaa| vahA~ bhaiyAlAlajI godarene sabase agAr3IkI sITapara baiThA diyaa| eka ghaNTA bAda moTara chuTa gii| malaharAkA TikaTa thaa| moTara baNDA phuNcii| vahA~ DrAIvarane kahA-varNIjI ! Apa isa sITako chor3akara bIcameM baiTha jaaiye| maiM bolA-'kyoM ?' 'yahA~ darogA sAhaba Ate haiM, ve zAhagar3ha jA rahe haiN|' tumane usa sITakA bhAr3A kyoM liyA ?' 'Apa jAnate haiM 'jabardastI kA TheMgA zirapara' Apa jaldI sITa ko tyAga dIjie ?' 'yaha to nyAya nahIM balAtkAra hai|' 'nyAya anyAyakI kathA chor3iye jaba rAjyameM hI nyAya nahIM taba hamameM kahA~ se AvegA ? Apane mAmUlI kirAye se eka rupayA hI to adhika diyA hai ? para hama darogA sAhaba kI kRpAse 20 ke badale 40 savAriyA~ le jAte haiN| yadi unheM na le jAveM to hamArI kyA durgati hogI, Apa jAnate haiN| ataH isImeM ApakA kalyANa hai ki Apa bIcameM baiTha jaaie| athavA Apako na jAnA ho to utara jaaiye| yadi Apa na utareMge to balAtkAra mujhe utAranA hogaa| Apako adAlatakI zaraNa lenI hai, bhale hI liijie| parantu maiM isa sITapara na baiThane duuNgaa|' __ maiM cupacApa gAr3Ise utara gayA aura usa dinase yaha pratijJA kI ki aba Ajanma moTarapara na bailuuNgaa| vahA~ se utarakara dharmazAlAmeM Thahara gyaa| rAtriko zAstra pravacana kiyaa| 'parAdhIna svapnahu sukha nAhI' yaha lokokti bAra-bAra yAda AtI rhii| do dina yahA~ rhaa| pazcAt sAgara calA AyA aura jisa makAnapara maiM rahatA thA usImeM rahane lgaa| bahuta kucha upAya kiye, para citta zAnta nahIM huaa| aSAr3hakA mahInA thA, ataH kahIM jA bhI nahIM sakatA thaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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zAhapura meM 311 zAhapura meM eka dina zAhapurase lokamaNi dAU aaye| unhoMne kahA-'zAhapura cliye| vahA~ sAdhana acche haiN| unake kahanese maiM zAhapura calA gyaa| yahIM para seTha kamalApatijI aura varNI motIlAlajI bhI A gye| Apa logoMke samAgamase dhArmika carcAmeM kAla jAne lgaa| yahA~para bhagavAnadAsa bhAyajI bar3e dhArmika jIva haiN| nirantara svAdhyAyameM kAla lagAte haiN| Apake pA~ca suputra haiM aura pA~coM hI paNDita haiM tathA yogya sthAnoMpara vidyAdhyayana karAte haiM-paM. maNikacandrajI sAgara vidyAlayameM adhyayana karAte haiM, paM. zrutasAgarajI rAmaTeka gurukulake mukhyAdhyApaka haiM, paM. dayAcandrajI pahale bInAmeM the, aba jabalapura gurukulameM mukhyAdhyApaka haiM, paM. dharmacandrajI zAhapura vidyAlayameM suparinTenDenTa padapara niyata haiM aura sabase choTe amaracandrajI pitA ke sAtha svAdhyAyameM dattacitta rahate haiN| inake samAgamase acchA Ananda rhaa| yahA~kI samAja bahuta hI saccaritra hai aura paraspara ati saMgaThita bhI hai| yahA~para nandalAlajI gAneke bar3e premI haiN| halkU siMghaI bhI bar3e dharmAtmA haiN| inake yahA~ para eka bAra paMcakalyANaka aura eka bAra gajaratha ho gayA hai| Apane paJcakalyANakameM tIna hajAra rupayA diye the jinakI badaulata Aja zAhapurameM eka vidyAlaya cala rahA hai| isa vidyAlayameM grAmavAloMne zaktise bAhara dAna diyA hai| Aja zAhapurameM eka vidyAlaya hai jisameM 50 chAtra adhyayana kara rahe haiN| 20 chAtra usakI borDiMga meM haiN| yadi yahA~ para eka lAkhakA dhrauvyaphaNDa ho to hAIskUla taka aMgrejI aura madhyamA taka saMskRtakI zikSAkA acchA prabandha ho sakatA hai| tathA 40 chAtra borDiMga meM raha sakate hai, parantu yaha sumata honA asambhava hai| ye loga isa tattva ko nahIM smjhte| bhAdramAsameM khataulIse lAlA trilokacandra, lAlA hukumacandra salAvAvAle aura paM. zItalAprasAdajI zAhapurAke Ane se tAttvika carcA kA vizeSa Ananda rhaa| eka dina hama, kamalApati seTha aura varNI motIlAlalajI parasparameM dhArmika bhAvoM kI samAlocanA kara rahe the| saba loka yahI kahate the ki 'dharma kalyANakArI hai, para usakA yathAzakti AcaraNa bhI karanA caahiye| koI kahatA thA ki 'ekAntameM rahanA acchA hai, kyoki yAtAyAta meM bar3A kaSTa hotA hai tathA antaraMga dharma bhI nahI pltaa|' varNI motIlAlajIne kahA ki 'yadi varNI gaNezaprasAdajI yAtAyAta chor3a deveM to hama anAyAsa unake sAtha rahane lgeNge|' For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 312 yahI bAta seTha kamalApatijIne bhI kahI ki 'yadi kevala varNIjI sthira ho jAveM . to hama anAyAsa sthira ho jAveMge aura inake sAtha Ajanma jIvana nirvAha kreNge| inhIkI caMcala prakRti hai|' maine kahA-'yadi maiM rela kI savArI chor3a dUM to Apa loga bhI chor3a sakate hai ?' donoM mahAzaya bole-'isameM kyA zaka hai ?' maiM bholA-bhAlA una donoM mahAzayoM ke jAla meM pha~sa gyaa| usI kSaNa unake samakSa pratijJA kara lI ki 'maine Ajanma rela kI savArI tyAga dI, Apa donoM kahiye kyA kahate hai ? paNDita motIlAla varNIne uttara diyA ki 'paJcakalyANaka pratiSThAko chor3akara relameM na bailuuNgaa| isI prakAra seTha kamalApatijI ne bhI kahA ki 'maiM sAlameM eka bAra rela para jAU~gA tathA eka bAra AU~gA' aura mujhase bhI kahane lage ki Apa bhI isI prakAra niyama kariye ekadama tyAganA acchA nhiiN| maiM to apane vicAroMpara dRr3ha rahA, parantu una logoM ne jo kahA use badalane ko rAjI nahIM hue........isa prakAra bhAdra mAsa sAnanda bItA, khataulIvAle khataulI cale gaye, varNI motIlAlajI jatArA gaye, seTha kamalApatijI barAyaThA gaye para hama lAcAra the, ataH raha gye| Adhe Azvina meM paidala sAgara A gye| mere Ane ke pahale hI bAIjIkI nanada lalitAbAIkA svargavAsa ho gayA thaa| usake pAsa jo pA~ca sau rUpayA the ve usakI ora se sAgara pAThazAlA meM de diye| pandraha dina sAgara rahe, parantu upayoga kI sthiratA nahIM huii| yahA~ para mulAbAI thI, usane bhI bahuta samajhAyA, parantu cittakA kSobha na gyaa| dharmazAlA meM pahu~cate hI aisA lagane lagA, mAnoM bAIjI dhImI AvAja se kaha rahI ho-"bhaiyA ! bhojana kara lo|' girirAjakI paidala yAtrA eka dina siMghaIjIke ghara bhojana ke liye gye| bhojana karane ke bAda yaha kalpanA mana meM AI ki paidala karrApura jAnA caahiye| bAIjI to thI hI nahIM, kisase pUchanA thA ? ataH madhyAhna kI sAmAyika ke bAda paidala cala diye aura ekAkI calate calate pA~ca baje karrApura pahu~ca gye| pandraha minaTa bAda sighaIjIke munIma hajArIlAla A gye| bahuta hI ziSTAcAra-se peza aaye| kahane lage ki 'Apake cale Ane se siMghaIjI bahuta hI khinna haiN| unakA abhiprAya yaha thA ki yadi mujhase milakara yAtrA karate to acchA hotaa| yoM to maiM jAnatA hU~ ki koI kisI kA nahIM, jIva ekAkI hI janmatA hai, aura ekAkI For Personal & Private Use Only

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girirAjakI paidala yAtrA 313 hI maratA hai| phira bhI saMsAra meM mohI jIva ko eka dUsare kA Azraya lenA par3atA hai| saba padArtha bhinna-bhinna hai, phira bhI mohameM parapadArtha ke binA koI bhI kAma nahIM hotaa| zraddhA aura hai, caritra meM AnA aura hai| zraddhA to darzanamoha ke abhAva meM hotI hai aura cAritra cAritramoha ke abhAva meM hotA hai / merI yaha zraddhA hai ki Apa mere se bhinna haiM aura maiM bhI Apase bhinna hU~, phira bhI Apake sahavAsa ko cAhatA huuN| ApakI yaha dRr3ha zraddhA hai ki kalyANamArga AtmA meM hai, phira bhI Apa zikharajI jA rahe haiN| yaha Apako dRr3ha nizcaya hai ki jJAna aura cAritra AtmA ke hI guNa hai, phira bhI Apa pustakAvalokana, tIrthayAtrA tathA vrata-upavAsAdi nimittoM ko milAte hI haiN| isI prakAra maiM bhI ApakA nimitta cAhatA hU~ / isameM kauna-sA anyAya hai| saMsAra se virakta hokara bhI sAdhu loga uttama nimittoM ko milAte hI haiM yaha siMghaIjI kA saMdeza thA so Apako sunA diyA / bAta vAstavika thI, ataH maiM kucha uttara na de sakA aura do dina rahakara baNDA calA gyaa| yahA~ para zrI daulatarAmajI caudharI bahuta hI dharmAtmA haiM / unhoMne AgrahapUrvaka kahA- girirAja ko jAte ho to jAo, bahuta hI prazasta kArya hai / parantu nainAgirijI bhI to siddhakSetra hai, anupama aura ramya hai / yahA~ para saba sAmagrI sulabhatayA mila sakatI hai| hama loga bhI Apake samAgamase dharmalAbhakara sakeMge tathA ApakI vaiyA-vRtyakA bhI avasara hamako milatA rahegA aura sabase bar3I bAta yaha hai ki ApakI vRddha avasthA hai / isa samaya ekAkI itanI lambI yAtrA paidala karanA hAniprada ho sakatI hai, ataH ucita to yahI hai ki Apa isI prAntameM dharmasAdhana kareM phira ApakI icchaa.......|' mai sunakara uttara na de sakA aura do dina bAda zrI nainAgirijIko calA gyaa| bIca meM eka dina dalapatapura rahA / yahA~ para siMghaI javAharalAlajI mere bar3e premI the| ve bole-'Apa jAte haiM, jAo / parantu hama logoMkA bhI to kucha vicAra karanA thaa| hama Apake dharma meM Aja taka bAdhaka nahIM hue / dharmakA utthAna to AtmA meM hotA hai, kSetra nimittamAtra hI hai / ajJAnI manuSya nimittoMpara bahuta bala dete haiM, para jJAnI manuSyoMkI dRSTi upAdAnakI ora rahatI hai / Apa sAkSara haiN| yadi Apa bhI nimittakI pradhAnatApara vizeSa Agraha karate haiM to hama kucha nahIM bolanA caahte| ApakI icchA ho,, so kIjie athavA merI to yaha zraddhA hai ki icchA se kucha nahI hotA / jo honevAlA kArya hai vaha avazya hotA hai| bAIjIkA eka vilakSaNa jIva thaa| aba Apako zikSA denevAlA vaha jIva For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 314 nahIM rahA, ataH ApakI pravRtti svacchanda ho gaI hai| hama to Apake premI haiM, premavaza apane hRdayakI bAta Apake sAmane prakaTa karate hI haiN| ApakA jisameM kalyANa ho vaha kIjie.... / ' bAIjIkA nAma sunakara punaH unake aparimita upakAroM kA smaraNa ho aayaa| maine sighaI javAharalAlajIko kucha uttara nahIM diyA aura dUsare dina maiM zrInainAgiriko calA gyaa| yahA~ para eka dharmazAlA hai, usI meM Thahara gyaa| sAtha meM kamalApati seTha bhI the| dharmazAlAke bAhara eka ucca sthAna para aneka jinAlaya haiN| jinAlayoM ke sAmane eka sarovara hai| usake madhya bhAgameM eka vizAla jaina mandira hai, jisake darzanake liye eka pula banA huA hai| mandirako dekhakara pAvApurake jala mandira kA smaraNa ho AtA hai| mandira ke banavAnevAle seTha javAharalAlajI mAmadAvAle the| sAmane eka choTI-sI pahAr3Ipara aneka jinamandira vidyamAna haiN| vahA~ pahu~canekA mArga sarovarake bA~dhaparase hai| pahAr3IkI dUrI eka phalAMga hogii| mandira ke darzanAdi kara bhavya puNyopArjana karate hue saMsAra sthitike chedakA upAya karate haiN| yahA~para hama loga do dina rhe| sAgarase siMghaIjI Adi bhI A gaye, jisase bar3e Anandake sAtha kAla biitaa| siMghaIjIne bahuta kucha kahA parantu maiMne eka na sunii| maiMne sAntvanA dete hue unase kahA- bhaiyA ! aba to jAne do| Akhira eka dina to hamArA aura ApakA viyoga hogA hii| jahA~ saMyoga hai vahA~ viyoga nizcita hai| yadyapi maiM jAnatA hU~ ki Apa mujhase kucha nahIM cAhate, kevala yahI icchA ApakI rahatI hai ki merA kAla dharamameM jAve tathA koI kaSTa na ho........ parantu maiMne eka bAra zrIgirirAja jAnekA dRr3ha nizcaya kara liyA hai, ataH aba Apa pratibandha na lagAiye...... / ' merA uttara sunakara siMghaIjIke netroM meM A~suoMkA saMcAra hone lagA aura merA bhI galA ruddha ho gayA, ataH kucha kaha na skaa| kevala mArgake sanmukha hokara bamaurIke liye prasthAna kara diyaa| :2: zAmake 5 bajate-bajate bamaurI pahuMca gyaa| yahA~ke darabArIlAlajI utsAhI aura prabhAvazAlI vyakti haiN| yahA~ do dina rahakara zAhagar3ha calA gyaa| yahA~ para paccIsa ghara jainoMke haiN| do dina rhaa| yahA~ke jainI mRdula svabhAvake haiM, jaba calane lagA taba rudana karane lge| calate samaya yahA~se paccIsa nAriyala bheTameM aaye| yahA~se hIrApura phuNcaa| yahA~para chakkI-lAla siMghaI, jo ki For Personal & Private Use Only

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girirAjakI paidala yAtrA 315 droNagiri pAThazAlAke maMtrI haiM, rahate haiN| bahuta hI sajjana vyakti haiN| unase sammati lekara daraguvA~ phuNcaa| yahA~ para eka jaina pAThazAlA hai, jo zrIyuta brahmacArI cidAnandIjIke dvArA sthApita haiN| Apa nirantara usakI dekha-rekha karate rahate haiN| yahIMpara Apane eka gujarAtI mandira bhI nirmANa karAyA hai aura usake liye Apane apanA hI makAna de diyA hai| arthAt apane rahane hI ke makAnameM mandira nirmANa karA diyA hai| Apa yogya vyakti haiN| nirantara jJAnavRddhimeM ApakA upayoga lIna rahatA hai| Apane bundelakhaNDa prAntameM paccIsa pAThazAlAe~ sthApita karA dI haiN| Apako yadi pUrNa sahAyatA mile to Apa bahuta upakAra kara sakate haiM, parantu koI yogya sahAyaka nhiiN| Apa vrata bhI niraticAra pAlate haiN| ApakI vRddhA mAtA haiM, jo saba kAma apane hAthoM se karatI haiN| ApakI garIboMpara bar3I dayA rahatI hai| Apa nirantara vidyAbhyAsa karate rahate haiN| ApakI udAsInAzramameM pUrNa ruci rahatI hai| Apake hI prayatnakA phala hai ki sAgarameM jauharI gulAbacandrajIke bAgameM eka Azrama sthApita ho gayA hai| ApakI prakRti udAra hai| bhojanameM Apako aNumAtra bhI gRdhnatA nahIM hai| Apake samAgamameM do dina sAnanda vyatIta hue| Apane khUba AtithyasatkAra kiyaa| yahA~se zrIdroNagiriko cala diye| bIcameM sar3avA gA~va milaa| yahA~ jainiyoMke dasa ghara haiN| parantu paraspara meM mela nahIM, ataH eka rAtri hI yahA~ rahe aura cAra ghaNTe calakara zrIdroNagiri pahu~ca gye| yahA~ para sundara dharmazAlA hai| paNDita dulIcandrajI vAjanAvAloMne bar3e parizramase isakA nirmANa karAyA thaa| yahA~para eka gurudatta pAThazAlA cala rahI hai jisakI rakSA zrIsiMghaI kundanalAlajI sAgara tathA malaharAke siMghaI vRndAvanadAsajI Devar3iyA karate haiN| paM. dulIcandrajI vAjanAvAloMkI bhI ceSTA isakI unnatimeM rahatI hai| zrIchakkIlAlajI siMghaI hIrApuravAle isake mantrI haiN| Apa prati AThaveM dina Ate haiM aura pAThazAlAkA eka paisA bhI apane upayoga meM nahI laate| sAtha meM ghor3A lAte haiM to usake ghAsakA paisA bhI Apa apane pAsase de jAte haiN| Apa bar3e narama dila ke AdamI haiM, parantu prabandha karanemeM kisIkA lihAja nahIM krte| paM. gorelAlajI yahIMke rahanevAle haiM; vyutpanna hai| Apa hI ke dvArA pAThazAlA kI acchI unnati huI hai| Apa kSetrakA bhI kAma karate haiN| yahA~ para eka hIrAlAla pujArI bhI haiN| jo bahuta hI suyogya haiN| jo yAtrIgaNa Ate haiM For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 316 unakA pUrNa prabandha kara detA hai| grAmameM eka mandira hai| usameM dezI pattharakI vizAla vedI hai, jisakA zrI siMghaI kundanalAlajI sAgarane bhaiyAlAla mistrIke dvArA nirmANa karAyA thaa| usameM bahuta hI sundara kalA kArIgarane aDi.kata kI hai| vedikAmeM zrIRSabha jinendradevakI DhAI phuTa U~cI saMgamarmarakI sundara pratimA hai jisake darzanase darzakako zAntikA AsvAda A jAtA hai| yahA~ para inhIM dinoM govardhana bhojaka AyA thaa| usakA gAnA sunakara yahA~ke kSatriya loga bahuta prasanna hue| yahA~ tIna dina rahe / pazcAt yahA~se calakara gorakhapura phuNce| yahA~ prAcIna jaina mandira hai| pandraha ghara jainiyoMke haiM jo paraspara kalaha rakhate yahA~se calakara ghuvArA aaye| yahA~ para pA~ca jinamandira haiN| yahA~para paNDita dAmodaradAsajI bahuta tattvajJAnI haiN| Apa vaidya bhI haiN| yahA~para parasparameM kucha vaimanasya thA / yaha eka sAdhuke Agraha aura ceSTAse zAnta ho gyaa| yahA~se calakara bar3agA~va Aye aura vahA~se calakara paThA aaye| yahA~ para paM. bArelAlajI vaidya bahuta suyogya haiN| inake prayAsase ahAra-kSetroMkI unnati pratidina ho rahI hai| yahA~se calakara atizaya kSetra papaurA A gye| yahA~ para tIna dina rhe| yahA~se calakara varamA Aye aura vahA~se calakara digaur3A phuNce| yaha digaur3A vahI hai jahA~ ki zrIdevIdAsajI kavikA janma huA thaa| Apa apUrva kavi aura dhArmika purUSa the| Apake viSayameM kaI kiMvadantiyA~ pracalita haiM Apa kapar3e kA vyApAra karate the| eka bAra Apa kapar3A becane ke lie bachaur3A gaye the| vahA~ jinake makAnameM Thahare the unake eka pA~ca varSakA bAlaka thaa| vaha prAyaH bhAyajIke pAsa khelane ke lie A jAtA thaa| usa dina AyA aura Adha ghaNTA bAda calA gyaa| usakI mA~ ne usake badana se jhugaliyA utArI to usameM usake eka hAtha kA cA~dI kA kar3A nikala gyaa| mA~ne vicAra kiyA ki bhAyajI sAhabane utAra liyA hogaa| vaha usake pAsa AI aura bolI ki 'bhAyajI ! yahA~ isakA cUrA to nahIM gira gayA ?' bhAyajI usake mana kA pApa samajha gaye aura bole ki 'hama kapar3A becakara dekheMge, kahIM gira gayA hogaa| vaha vApisa calI gii| Apane zIghra hI sunArake pAsa jAkara pA~ca tole kA kar3A banavAkara bAlakakI mA~ ko sauMpa diyaa| mA~ kar3A pAkara prasanna huii| bhAyajI sAhaba bAjAra cale gye| dUsare dina jaba bAlakakI mA~ bAlaka ko a~guliyA pahanAne lagI taba kar3A nikala par3A mana meM bar3I zarmindA huI aura jaba bAjAra For Personal & Private Use Only

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girirAjakI paidala yAtrA 317 se bhAyajI sAhaba Aye taba kahane lagI ki 'mujhase bar3I galatI huii| vyartha hI Apako kar3A lene kA doSa lgaayaa| bhAyajI sAhaba ne kahA-'kucha harja nhiiN| vastu kho jAne para sandeha ho jAtA hai| aba yaha kar3A rahane do| __eka bArakI bAta hai, Apa lalitapura se ghor3e para kapar3A lekara ghara jA rahe the| aTavIke bIca meM sAmAyika kA samaya ho gyaa| sAthiyoM ne kahA-'eka mIla aura cliye| yahA~ ghanI aTavI hai| isameM coroM kA Dara hai|' bhAyajI sAhaba bole-'Apa loga jaaiye| hama to sAmAyika ke bAda hI yahA~ se caleMge aura ghor3e para se kapar3e kA gaTThA utArakara ghor3e ko bA~dha diyA tathA Apa sAmAyika ke liye baiTha gye| itane meM cora Aye aura kapar3e ke gaDhe lekara cale gye| thor3I dUra jAkara coroM ke dila meM vicAra AyA ki hama loga jisakA kapar3A curA lAye vaha becArA mUrti kI taraha baiThA rahA, mAnoM sAdhu ho, aise mahApurUSa kI corI karanA mahApApa hai| aisA vicAra kara lauTe aura kapar3e ke gaDhe jahA~se uThAye the vahIM rakha diye aura kahane lage ki 'mahArAja ! Apake gaDhe rakhe haiN| anya koI cora Apako taMga na kare isalie apanA eka AdamI chor3a jAte haiN| itanA kaha kara ve cora Age cale tathA jo loga bhAyajI sAhaba ko ghanI aTavI meM chor3akara Age cale gaye the unheM lUTa liyA aura pITA bhii| bhAyajI ke pAsa jo AdamI baiThA thA usane sAmAyika pUrI hone para unase kahA -ki 'mahArAja ! apanA kapar3A sNbhaalo| aba hama jAte hai'.......aisI aneka ghaTanAe~ Apake jIvanacaritra kI hai| eka ghaTanA yaha bhI likhane kI hai ki Apa yU. pI. prAnta meM eka sthAna para par3hane ke lie gye| vahA~ Apane eka paise kI lakar3I meM bAraha mAha roTI banAI aura anta meM vaha paisA bhI bacA laaye| loga ise gappa samajheMge para yaha gappa nhiiN| Apa bAjAra se eka paise kI lakar3I lAte the, usameM roTI banA lete aura koyalA bujhA lete the tathA use eka paisA meM sunArako beca dete the| yahA~ para unake banAye devIvilAsa Adi grantha dekhane meM aaye| digaur3A se calakara dumadumA aaye| 'yahA~ para bAIjI kI sAsa kI bahina kA lar3akA gulAbacandra hai| bar3A sajjana manuSya hai| usakA bApa bar3A bholAbhAlA thaa| jaba usakA antakAla AyA taba gulAbacandra ne kahA ki 'pitAjI ! Apake cihnoM se ApakA maraNa Asanna jAna par3atA hai|" pitA ne For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 318 kahA- 'beTA ! saMsAra maratA hai, isameM Azcarya kI kauna-sI kathA hai| gulAbacandra ne kahA ki 'samAdhimaraNa ke liye sabase mamatA tyaagoN|' bApa bar3A bholA thA / bolA- 'acchA tere vacana mAnya haiN| kucha dera bAda gulAbacandra davAI lAkara bolA- 'pitAjI ! auSadhi lIjiye / ' bApa bolA- 'beTA abhI tUne kahA thA ki sabase mamatA chodd'o| maiMne vahI kiyaa| dekha, isalie maiM khATa se utarakara nIce baiTha gyaa| saba kapar3A chor3a diye| kevala dhotI nahIM chor3I jaatii| naMge hone meM lajjA AtI hai| aba maiM na to pAnI pIU~gA aura na anna hI khAU~gA / ' gulAbacandrane kahA - pitAjI ! maiMne sarala bhAva se kahA thaa|' merA yaha bhAva thor3e hI thA ki tuma saba chor3a do|' bApane kahA - 'Apa kucha kaho, maiM to saba kucha chor3a cukaa| aba jamIna para hI ledU~gA aura bhagavAnkA smaraNa karU~gA / ' yaha vArtA grAma bharameM phaila gaI parantu usane kisIkI nahIM sunI aura do dina parameSThIkA smaraNa karate hue nirvighna rUpase paraloka yAtrA kI / isa gA~vase calakara baruAsAgara A gaye aura sTezanake Upara bAbA rAmasvarUpake yahA~ Thahara gye| sAtha meM kamalApati seTha bhI the / yahA~ para sTezanase do pharlAMga kI dUrI para sarrApha mUlacandrajIkI dukAna hai| dukAnake pAsa hI eka aTTAlikA para jina caityAlaya hai, jisameM zrIpArzvanAtha svAmIkI manojJa pratimA hai| bAbU rAmasvarUpa jIne caityAlaya ko susajjita banA rakkhA hai / yahA~ se Adha pharlAD.ga para eka choTI-sI pahAr3iyA hai, jisake Upara sarrAphajIne eka pArzvanAtha vidyAlaya khola rakkhA hai aura jisake vyaya ke liye jhA~sIke pA~ca koThe lagA diye haiN| pahAr3I ke nIce eka ku~A bhI khudavA diyA hai| yahA~ se do pharlAMga kI dUrI para eka bAga hai jisameM Ama, amarUda Adi aneka phala tathA zAkAdikI utpatti hotI hai / sthAna suramya tathA jalavAyukI svacchatA se paThana-pAThana ke liye upayukta hai / parantu baruAsAgaravAle mahAnubhAvoMkI usameM prIti nhiiN| hA~, bAbU rAmasvarUpajI kI pUrNa dRSTi hai| bAbU sAhabake samAgamase zAstrapravacanameM bar3A AnaMda rahatA thaa| sarrApha mUlacandrajI bhI pratidina Ate the| inakA hamase hArdika prema thA / eka dina bole- 'Apa girirAjako jA rahe haiM. .. yaha sunakara hamArA dila TUTA jA rahA hai| ApahIke snehase maiMne yaha vidyAlaya kholA thA aura Apa hIke snehase ise nirantara khIMcatA rahatA huuN| maiM ApakI AjJAkA pAlana karatA hU~ tathA yathAzakti aura bhI dAna karane ko taiyAra hU~.. . yadi Apa raheM to / For Personal & Private Use Only

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girirAjakI paidala yAtrA 319 isake sivAya eka bAta aura hai| vaha yaha ki bAIjI hamAre pAsa eka hajAra rupayA isa zartapara jamAkara gaI thIM ki isakA pA~ca rUpayA mAsika byAja bhaiyAko dete jAnA, so lIjiye aura yadi Apa rupayA lenA cAhate haiM to vaha bhI lIjiyeM, mujhe koI Apatti nhiiN| rupayA le lenepara bhI pA~ca rupayA mAsika bhejatA jaauuNgaa| Apako maiM apanA mAnatA huuN| maine kahA-'mujhe rupayA nahIM cAhie / bAIjI ke bhAvakA maiM vyAghAta nahIM kara sktaa| maiM pA~ca rupayA mAsika byAjakA hI lenevAlA huuN| rupayA yahA~ kI pAThazAlA ke nAma jamA karA diijiyeN|' jhA~sIke rAjamallajI sAhaba bhI yahA~ aaye| inakA sarrAphajI ke sAtha ghaniSTha sambandha thaa| sarrAphajIke parama hitaiSI aura unheM yogya sammati denevAle the| bahuta hI sajjana dhArmika vyakti the| inakI sammatise sarrApha mUlacandrajI ne jhA~sImeM eka makAna le liyA, jisakA cAra sau rupayA mAsika kirAyA AtA pandraha dina baruAsAgara rahakara zubha muhUrtameM zrIgirirAjake lie prasthAnakara diyaa| prathama dina kI yAtrA pA~ca mIlakI thI, nivArI grAma meM phuNcaa| sAthameM kamalApati aura cAra jainI bhAI the| sAthameM eka ThelA thA, jisameM saba sAmAna rahatA thaa| use do AdamI le jAte the| jaba thaka jAte the taba anya do AdamI Thelane lagate the| maiM tIna mIla calA aura itanA thaka gayA ki paira calanemeM bilakula asamartha ho gye| mujhe bahuta hI kheda huA aura manameM yaha bhAvanA huI ki 'he prabho ! aise kisa pApakA udaya AyA ki merI zakti ekadama kSINa ho gii| hamAre sAtha jo jainI the unameMse eka bolA ki 'Apa itanI cintA kyoM karate haiM ? zrIpArzvaprabhu saba acchA kreNge| mAlUma hotA hai, Apane eka masala nahIM sunI-'sAmhara dUra simariyA niyrii| maiMne kahA-isakA artha samajhAiyeM ?' vaha bolA-'pahale jamAnemeM isa taraha rela-moTaroMkA subhItA na thaa| sAmhara sthAna mAravAr3ameM hai| vahA~ namakakI jhIla hai| vahA~se simariyA gA~va pA~ca sau mIla hai| yaha gA~va pannA riyAsatameM hai| pahale jamAnemeM bailoMke jariye vyApAra hotA thaa| sAmharake eka seThakA simariyAvAle para kucha rupayA AtA thaa| vaha usakI vasUlIke liye simariyA claa| jaba gA~vake bAhara AyA taba naukarase pUchatA hai ki simariyA kitanI dUra hai ?' naukarane javAba diyA-sAmhara dUra simariyA niyarI / yadyapi yahA~se sAmhara eka mIla hai, parantu usake liye Apane For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 320 pITha de dI hai aura simariyAke sammukha ho gaye haiN| isase cAra sau ninyAnave mIla dUra honepara bhI najadIka hai| isI prakAra Apa girirAjake sammukha haiM, ataH vaha najadIka hai aura baruAsAgara dUra hai| usake isa vAkyako sunakara mere meM sphUrti A gaI aura maiMne yaha pratijJA kI-'he prabho pArzvanAtha ! maiM ApakI nirvANabhUmi ke lie prasthAna kara rahA / jaba taka mujhameM eka mIla bhI calane kI sAmarthya rahegI tabataka paidala calU~gA, DolImeM nahIM bailuuNgaa|' pratijJAke bAda hI ekadama calane lagA aura Adha ghaNTAmeM nivArI pahu~ca gyaa| yahA~ para eka jaina mandira aura cAra ghara jainiyoMke haiN| rAtribhara rhaa| prAtaHkAla bhojana karake magarapura ke lie cala diyaa| yahA~ para eka gahoI vaizya aaye| unhoMne kahA 'Apa thor3I dera merI bAta sunakara jaaiyeN|' maiM rUka gyaa| Apa bole-maiM eka bAra zrIjagannAthajIkI yAtrAke liye jAne lagA to merI mA~ bolI-'beTA ! tumhAre bApane amuka AdamIkA RNa liyA thaa| vaha use adA na kara sake, usakA maraNa ho gyaa| aba tuma pahale use adA karo phira yAtrAke lie jAoM, anyathA yAtrA saphala na hogii| maine mA~kI AjJAkA pAlana kiyA aura usa sAhUkArake pAsa gyaa| sAhUkArase maiMne kahA-bhAI ! ApakA jo rupayA mere bApake nAmapara ho le liijiye| sAhUkArane kahA- mujhe nahIM mAlUma kitanA karja hai| mere bApane diyA hogA, maiM kyA jAnU~ ? jaba maiMne bahuta Agraha kiyA taba usane bahI nikaalii| maiMne mere bApa ke nAmapara jo rupayA nikalA vaha maya byAjake adA kiyaa| sAhUkArane bar3I prasannatA prakaTa kI aura utanA hI rupayA milAkara eka mandirameM lagA diyaa| yaha usa jamAnekI bAta hai| para aba yaha jamAnA A gayA, ki rupayA vasUla karane meM adAlatakA Azraya lenA par3atA hai aura antameM kalikAla kahakara santoSa karanA par3atA hai / astu, Apase merI yahI prArthanA hai ki Apa jahA~ jAveM vahA~ yaha upadeza avazya deveM ki parAyA RNa adA karake hI tIrthayAtrA Adi dhArmika kArya kreN| maiMne kahA acchaa| usane kahA-'aba Apa sAnanda jaaiye| : 4: mai vahA~se calakara magarapura pahu~ca gyaa| yahA~ do jaina mandira aura dasa dhara jainiyoM ke haiN| yahA~ aDakU siMghaIjIke yahA~ ThaharA / Apa svargIya bAIjIke cacere bhAI the| bar3e Adarase tIna dina rkkhaa| calate samaya saprema eka mIla taka pahu~cAne ke liye aaye| jaba maiM calane lagA taba ApakA hRdaya bhara aayaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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girirAjakI paidala yAtrA viyogameM viSAda na honA kaThina kAma hai / yahA~se calakara TerakA AyA / yahA~para do mandira aura pandraha ghara jainiyoMke haiM / yahA~ para samAjameM vaimanasya thA, vaha dUra 1 ho gayA / 321 yahA~se calakara maUrAnIpura AyA / yahA~ para dasa vizAla jaina mandira aura sATha ghara jainiyoMke haiM / prAyaH sabhI sampanna haiM / yahA~ para zailI acchI hai / kaI bhAI svAdhyAyake premI hai / mandirameM dharmazAlA hai, usameM sau AdamI Thahara sakate haiN| yahA~ do dina rahakara maU calA gayA / yahA~ para mandiroMkA samudAya acchA hai, parantu aba jainiyoMkI nyUnatA hai / yahA~ para vaiSNava logoMke bhI vizAla mandira hai| pUjApAThakA prabandha uttama hai| do dina rahakara yahA~ AlIpurako claa| yaha sthAna mahArAja AlIpurakA hai| Apa kSatriya haiN| ApakA mahala AlIpurAmeM hai / yahA~ para eka dina ThaharA / yahA~ke rAjyakA prabandha bahuta hI uttama hai| Apake rAjyameM kisAnoMse mAlagujArIkA rupayA nahIM liyA jAtA / utpatti ke Upara kara hai / yadi chaH mana gallA huA to eka mana rAjAko denA par3atA hai| yadi kisIko koI arjI karanI par3atI hai to mahArAjake pAsa jAkara svayaM nivedana kara sakatA hai| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki yahA~kI prajA bahuta Anandase apanA jIvana bitAtI hai / I T yahA~se calakara nayAgA~va chAvanI A gaye aura zobhArAma bhaiyAlAla mahevavAloMke yahA~ Thahara gaye / yahA~ para bundelakhaNDa rAjyoMkI dekha rekha karaneke liye ejeNTa sAhaba rahate haiM / yahA~se calakara mahevA Aye / yahA~ para bhaiyAlAlane pUrNa Atithya satkAra kiyA / yaha sthAna carakhArI rAjyameM hai / yahA~kI prajA bhI Anandase jIvana bitAtI hai, parantu AlIpurakI barAbarI nahIM kara sakatI / yahA~ eka dina rahakara rAjyasthAna chatarapurameM A gayA / yaha sthAna bahuta suramya hai / yahA~ para saMskRta zAstroMkA acchA bhaNDAra hai| zrI bihArIlAlajI sAhaba saMskRtake uttama vidvAn hue haiN| ApakI kavitA prAcIna kaviyoMke sadRza hotI thI / Apa zrIbhAgacandrajI sAhaba ke ziSya the / zAnta pariNAmI aura pratiSThAcArya bhI hai / jina dinoM Apa bhAgacandrajI sAhabase adhyayana karate the usa samaya Apake sAthameM paNDita karagaralAlajI padmAvatI poravAla bhI adhyayana karate the / Apa hI ke suputra svargIya zrImAn nyAyadivAkara paNDita pannAlAlajI the / jinakI pratibhAko bar3e-bar3e vidvAn sarAhate the / Apa nirbhIka vaktA the / vAda karanemeM kezarI the aura asAdhAraNa pratiSThAcArya the| bar3e-bar3e rAjA Apako For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 322 sAdara bulAte the| mahArAja chatarapurane to Apako aneka bAra bulAyA thaa| chatarapurameM jainiyoMkI bar3I pratiSThA thii| gA~vake bAhara eka TeharI para pANDejIkA mandira hai| Ajakala vahA~ hindI nArmala skUla hai| yahA~ para mandiroMmeM vizAla mUrtiyoMkI nyUnatA nahIM hai, parantu Ajakala zAstra-pravacana bhI nahIM hotaa| yahA~ para paM0 hIrAlAlajI eka pratiSThita vyakti haiN| Apa cAheM to samAjakA bahuta kucha upakAra kara sakate haiM, parantu ApakA lakSya isa ora nhiiN| prathama to saMsArameM manuSyajanma milanA atikaThina hai| phira manuSyajanma milakara yogyatAkI prApti atidurlabha hai| yogyatAko pAkara jo svaparopakAra nahIM karate ve atyanta mUr3ha haiM......yaha likhanA ApekSika hai| yAvatprANI haiM, saba apane-apane abhiprAya se pravRtti karate haiM, kintu itanA avazya mAnanA par3egA ki jisa kriyA ke karanese apanI AtmAko kaluSatAkA sAmanA karanA par3e tathA dhakkA pahuMce vaha kArya karanA avazya heya hai| saMsAra hai, isameM jo na ho vaha alpa hai| yahA~se calakara eka dina eka rAjadhAnImeM aayaa| usakA nAma nahIM likhanA caahtaa| yahA~ bhaTTArakake ziSya the jo bahuta hI yogya evaM vidvAn the| ApakA rAjAke sAtha maitrIbhAva thaa| eka varSAkAlameM pAnIkA akAla par3A, khetI sUkhane lgii| prajAmeM trAhi-trAhi maca gii| prajAgaNane rAjAse kahA-'mahArAja ! pAnI na barasanekA kAraNa yaha hai ki yahA~ para jainaguru bhaTTArakakA eka celA rahatA hai, vaha Izvarako sRSTikartA nahIM mAnatA, paramAtmA nikhila jagatakA niyantA hai, usIkI anukampAse vizvake prANI sukhake pAtra hote haiN| usIkI anukampAse prANI aneka ApattiyoM se surakSita rahate haiN| ataH usa bhaTTArakake ziSyako yahA~se nikAla dIjiye jisase dezavyApI Apatti Tala jaave|" rAjAne kahA-yaha tuma logokI bhrAnti hai| manuSyoMke puNya-pApake AdhIna sukha-duHkha hotA hai| bhagavAn to sirpha sAkSIbhUta haiN| athavA kalpanA karo ki bhagavAn hI kartA haiM, parantu phala to jaisA hama loga puNya-pApa kareMge vaisA hI hogaa| jaise hama rAjA haiN| hamArI prajAmeM jo corI karegA use hama corI karanekA daNDa deveNgeN| yadi corI karanevAleko daNDa na diyA jAyagA to arAjakatA phaila jaavegii| isI taraha Izvarako mAna lo / jainaguruke rahanese pAnI nahIM barasA, yaha Apa kisa AdhArase kahate haiN| vivekase bAta karanA caahie| Apa loga jAnate haiM ki jainiyoMke sAdhu digambara hote haiN| grAmake bAhara rahate haiN| caubIsa ghaNTemeM For Personal & Private Use Only

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girirAjakI paidala yAtrA 323 eka bAra grAmameM Akara bhojana karate hai| pazcAt phira vanameM cale jAte haiN| sabase maitrIbhAva rakhate haiN| ve to yahA~ nhiiN| yaha jo haiM bhaTTArakake ziSya haiM, parantu ve bhI bar3e ziSTa haiM, vidvAn hai, dayAlu haiM, sadAcArakI mUrti haiM, parimita parigraha rakhate haiM, jainiyoMke yahA~ bhojana karate haiM, kisIse yAcanA nahIM karate, merA unake sAtha sneha hai, nirantara unake mukhase Apa logoMke hita poSaka vacana hI sunanemeM Ate haiN| vo nirantara kahate rahate haiM ki mahArAja ! aisA niyama banAiye ki jisase rAjyabharameM sadAcArakI pravRtti ho jaay| Apa sadA madya, mAMsa, madhuke tyAgakA upadeza karate haiN| anAcAra rokaneke liye unakA kahanA hai ki bAjArU aurateM zahara meM na rheN| unakI AjIvikAke liye koI kalAbhavana banA diyA jaave| mujhe bhI nirantara yahI upadeza dete haiM ki mahArAja Apa prajApati haiM aura cU~ki pazu bhI ApakI prajA hai, ataH inakA bhI ghAta na honA caahiye| isaliye Apa loga inake nikAlane kA prastAva vApisa le lIjiye....... / ' mahArAjane bahuta kucha kahA, parantu samudAyane eka nahIM sunI aura kahA-to hamako AjJA dIjiyeM, hama hI cale jaaveN|" mahArAja ne kahA-'kheda hai ki logoMke Agrahase Aja mujhe eka niraparAdha vyaktiko rAjyase bAhara jAnekI AjJA dekara nyAyakA ghAta karanA par3a rahA hai| para daravAnase kahA ki pANDejIse kaha do-'mahArAja ! Apa merA rAjya chor3akara anya sthAnameM cale jaaiyeN| Apake rahane se hamArI prajAmeM kSobha rahatA hai|' daravAna pANDejIke pAsa gayA aura kahane lagA ki 'mahArAja ! Apako rAjAjJA hai ki rAjya se bAhara cale jaaoN|' pANDejIne kahA ki- 'mahArAjase kaha do ki ApakI AjJAkA pAlana hogA, parantu Apa eka bAra mujhase mila jAveM / ' daravAnane Akara mahArAjako pANDejIkA sandeza sunA diyaa| mahArAjane pANDejIke pAsa jAnA svIkRta kara liyaa| pANDejIne daravAnake bAda mantrarAjakA ArAdhana kiyaa| mahArAja jaba pANDejIke yahA~ Ane ko udyat hue taba kucha-kucha bAdala uThe aura jaba unake pAsa pahuMce taba akhaNDa mUsalAdhAra varSA hone lgii| ApakA jaba pANDejIse samAgama huA taba Apane bahuta hI prasannatA prakaTa kI aura kahA ki'mahArAja ! maiM apanI AjJA vApisa letA huuN| pANDejI bole-'ApakI icchA, parantu Apane prajAke kahe anusAra rAjya se bAhara jAnekI AjJA to de hI dI thii| yaha to vicAranA thA ki maiM kauna huuN| kyA mujhameM pAnI rokanekI sAmarthya For Personal & Private Use Only

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324 hai / mujhameM kyA kisImeM yaha sAmarthya nahIM / jIvana-maraNa, sukha-duHkha prANiyoMke puNya-pApake anusAra hote haiN| tathAhi 'sarva sadaiva niyataM bhavati svakIya merI jIvanagAthA karmodayAnmaraNajIvitaduHkhasaukhyam / ajJAnametadiha yattu paraH parasya kuryAtpumAn maraNajIvitaduHkhasaukhyam / isa lokameM jIvoMke jo maraNa-jIvana sambandhI duHkha-sukha haiM ve sadA-kAla niyamapUrvaka apane-apane karmodayase hote haiN| aisA hone para bhI jo manuSya parake maraNa, jIvana, sukha aura duHkhakA kartA apaneko mAnatA hai vaha ajJAna hai| anyacca - 'ajJAnametadadhigamya parAtparasya pazyanti ye maraNajIvitaduHkhasaukhyam / karmANyahaMkRtirasena cikIrSavaste mithyAdRzo niyatamAtmahano bhavanti / / ' 1 pUrva kathita ajJAnako prApta hokara jo parase parako sukha-dukha evaM jIvana-maraNa dekhate haiM ve ahaMkAra rasake dvArA karaneke icchuka jIva niyamase mithyAdRSTi hote haiM aura niyamase AtmaghAtI hote haiM / saMsArameM jIvana, maraNa, sukha aura duHkha jo kucha bhI jIvoM ke dekhA jAtA hai vaha saba svakRta karmoke udayase hotA hai| unakA jo apaneko kartA mAnate haiM / arthAt unameM rAga-dveSa karate haiM ve ajJAnI haiN| jaise koI asAvadhAnI se binA dekhe mArga cala rahA hai use akasmAt pattharakI coTa laga gaI to vaha pattharako isa bhAvanAse tor3ane lagA ki yadi yaha patthara mArgameM na hotA to mujhe coTa na lgtii| para vaha yaha nahIM socatA ki yadi maiM dekhakara calatA to yaha coTa na lagatI / aura bhI kahA | hai ki vane raNe zatrujalAgnimadhye mahArNave parvatamastake vA / ye saba guptaM pramattaM viSamasthitaM vA rakSanti puNyAni purA kRtAni / ' jaba ki vastukI maryAdA hI aisI hai taba anya para roSa karanA kahA~ kA nyAya hai ? saMsAra meM kauna manuSya cAhatA hai ki maiM dhanI na hoU~, vidvAn na hoU~, rAjA na hoU~ parantu honA apane adhInakI bAta nahI hai| jaisA ki kahA hai'yazaH zrIsutamitrAdi sarva kAmayate jagat / For Personal & Private Use Only

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girirAjakI paidala yAtrA 325 nAsya lAbho'bhilASe'pi binA puNyodayAtsataH / / 'jarAmRtyudaridrAdi na hi kAmayate jagat / tatsaMyogo balAdasti satastatrAzubhodayAt / / prANImAtra cAhate haiM ki hamAre yaza ho, lakSmI ho, putra ho, mitra ho; kintu puNyodayake nimitta na milanepara kucha nahIM hotA aura jarA, maraNa, daridratA, mUrkhatA jagatmeM koI nahIM cAhatA, kintu pApakarmake udayakA nimitta milanepara nahIM cAhanepara bhI ina aniSTakArI padArthoM kA saMyoga hotA hai....... ityAdi bahuta kucha dRSTAnta isa viSayameM haiM, phira bhI Apane apanI prajAke kahanese hamako apanA zatru balAtkAra samajha liyaa| mere cAturmAsameM yahIM rahanekA niyama thaa| maiM svecchAse apane niyamakA ghAta na krtaa| Apa mujhe balAtkAra nikAla dete, yaha anya bAta thii| kheda isa bAtakA hai ki pAnI barasanese Apane yaha vizvAsa kara liyA ki yaha karAmAta pANDejIkI hai| yaha bhI ApakI dhAraNA mithyA hai| yadi maiM isa barasAnemeM kAraNa huA to maiM svayaM vidhAtA ho gyaa| 'sunahu bharata bhAvI prabala vilakha kahI muninAtha / hAni lAbha jIvana maraNa jaza apajaza vidhihAtha / ' ataH isa bhrAntiko chor3o ki jala barasAnemeM merA atizaya hai| maiM bhI karmAkrAnta hU~ | jaisI ApakI avasthA hai vaisI hI merI avasthA hai| itanA antara avazya hai ki ApakI zraddhA DavA~Dola (caJcala) hai aura merI zraddhA acala hai| Apa apane vyavahArase lajjita na hoN| maiM Apako na to mitra mAnatA hU~ aura na zatru hii| mere karmakA vipAka thA, jisase Apane zatru-mitra jaisA kAma kiyaa| mahArAja bole-'ThIka hai, aisA hI honA thaa| aba isa viSaya meM adhika carcA karanekI AvazyakatA nhiiN| maiM Apase prasanna hU~ aura merI Ajase yaha ghoSaNA hai ki jainakA jaba ratha nikale taba use Avazyaka bAhya sAmagrI rAjyase dI jaaveN| isake bAda pANDejIne sarvazAntike liye zAnti-vidhAna kiyaa| kahanekA abhiprAya yaha hai ki pahale isa prakAra ke nirbhIka aura guNI manuSya hote the| yahA~ tIna dina rahakara khajarAhA kSetra ke liye cala diye| bIcameM do dina rahakara tIsare dina khajarAhA pahu~ca gye| :5: For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 326 khajarAhA ke jaina mandira bahuta hI vizAla aura unnata zikharavAle haiN| eka mandira meM zrIzAntinAtha svAmI kI sAtizaya pratimA virAjamAna hai jisake darzana karanese cittameM zAnti A jAtI hai| yahA~ke mandiroMmeM pattharoMke Upara aisI zilpakalA utkIrNa kI gaI hai ki vaisI kAgajapara dikhAnA bhI durlabha hai| mandirake cAroM ora koTa hai, bIcameM bAvar3I aura kUpa hai, dharmazAlA hai; parantu prabandha nahIM ke tulya hai| kSetrakI rakSA ke liye na to koI bhRtya hai na muniim| kevala pujArI aura mAlI rahatA hai| Asa-pAsa jainiyoMkI saMkhyA alpa hai| chatarapuravAle cAheM to prabandha kara sakate haiM, parantu unakI isa ora dRSTi nhiiN| pannAvAloMko bhI isakI unnatimeM kucha vizeSa ruci nhiiN| yahA~ para vaiSNavoMke bar3e-bar3e vizAla mandira haiN| phAlgunameM eka mAsakA melA rahatA hai| dUra-dUrase dukAnadAra Ate haiN| lAkhoMkA mAla bikatA hai| mahArAja chatarapura bhI melAmeM padhArate haiN| yahA~se calakara tIna dina bAda pannA pahu~ca ge| yahA~ para bAbU govindalAlajI bhI A gye| Apa gayAke rahanevAle haiN| Apako pacahattara rupayA painsana milatI hai| Apa saMsArase atyanta udAsa haiN| Apane gayAke prAcIna mandirameM hajAroM rupaye lagAye haiN| eka hajAra rupayA syAdvAda vidyAlaya banArasako pradAna kiye haiM aura tIna hajAra rupayA phuTakara kharca kiye haiN| ApakA samaya dharmadhyAnameM jAtA hai| Apa nirantara satsamAgamameM rahate haiN| yahA~ para hama loga siMghaI rAmaratanake ghara para Thahara gye| Apake putra-pautrAdi saba hI anukUla haiN| Apa AtithyasatkArameM pUrNa sahayoga dete haiN| hamako pandraha dina nahIM jAne diyaa| hamalogoMne bahuta kucha kahA, parantu eka na sunii| pandraha dinake bAda calakara do dinameM par3ariyA aaye| yahA~ tIna dina rahanA pdd'aa| yahA~ sabase vilakSaNa bAta yaha huI ki eka AdamI ne yahA~ taka haTha kI ki Apa hamAre ghara bhojana nahIM kareMge, to hama apaghAta kara leNge| aneka prayatna karane para yahA~se nikala pAye aura tIna dinameM satanA pahu~ca gye| yahA~ para bar3e satkArase rhe| loga nahIM jAne dete the| ataH seTha kamalApati aura bAbU govindalAlajI ko relapara bheja diyA aura mai sAmAyikake misase grAma ke bAhara calA gayA aura yahIse rIvA~ke liye prasthAna kara diyaa| bAdameM ThelA, jo ki sAtha thA, A gayA pacAsa AdamI tIna mIla taka aaye| satanAmeM siMghaI dharmadAsajI eka ratna AdamI haiN| Apa bahuta hI paropakArI jIva haiN| tIna dinameM For Personal & Private Use Only

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girirAjakI paidala yAtrA 327 rIvA~ phuNce| yahA~ para do mandira haiN| zrIzAntinAtha svAmIkI pratimA atimanojJa hai| dharmazAlA bhI acchI hai| eka mandirakI dahalAna zrImahArAjakI rAnI sAhabAne banavA dI hai| yahA~ tIna dina rahakara mirjApurake liye cala diye / yahA~se mirjApura sau mIla hai| bIcameM kahIM jainoMkA ghara nahI, ataH bhojana kA prabandha svayaM karate the| bAraha dinameM mirjApura pahu~ca gye| mArga kI zobhA avarNanIya hai| vAstavameM mirjApura ramya jilA hai| yahA~ para jaina mandira atisundara haiN| samaiyoMkA eka caityAlaya bhI hai| ve loga bahuta sajjana haiM, parantu mandira meM nahIM aate| maiM unake yahA~ bhojana karaneke lie bhI gyaa| unake gharoMmeM dhArmika pravRtti hai| yahA~ para una hIrAlAla siMghaIkA ghara haiM jinhoMne ki kaTanIkA borDiMga. banavAyA thaa| aba unake nAtI haiM jo kaI bhAI haiM, parantu inakI dharmameM utanI ruci nahIM jitanI ki inake bApa-dAdoMkI thii| yahA~ para gaMgAjIkA ghATa bahuta sundara banA huA hai| gaMgAke ghATa para hI vindhyavAsinI devI kA mandira hai| bahuta dUra-dUrase bhAratavAsI Ate haiM, parantu kheda isa bAta kA hai ki yAtrIgaNa paNDoMkI badaulata devIko jagadambA kahakara bhI unake samakSa nirmama chAgoMkA balidAna kara dete haiN| saMsArameM kaSAyoMke vazameM jo jo anartha ho, alpa haiN| yahA~se calakara cAra dinameM vArANasI-kAzI pahu~ca gaye aura pArzvanAthake mandirameM bhelUpura Thahara gye| yahA~para do dharmazAlAe~ haiM- eka paMcAyatI hai jisameM AdhI zvetAmbaroMkI aura AdhI digambaroMkI hai| sA~jhekI dharmazAlA hone se yAtrIgaNoMko koI suvidhA nhiiN| eka dharmazAlA khar3agasena udayarAjakI bhI hai, jisakA bahu bhAga dukAnadAroMko kirAyepara de diyA hai| mandira do haiM, donoM hI uttama haiN| yahA~ bhadainImeM bAbU devakumArajI ArA nivAsIkA banavAyA huA eka sundara ghATa hai, jisakA nAma prabhughATa hai| ghATake Upara eka bar3A sundara mahala hai. jisakI lAgata kaI lAkha rupaye hogii| isImeM syAdvAda vidyAlaya hai| yaha bhI unhoMne sthApita kiyA thA aura usakI sahAyatA Aja taka unake suputra nirmalakumArajI raIsa barAbara karate rahate haiN| Apa bahuta hI sajjana haiN| vidyAlaya ke Upara eka sundara chata hai, jisameM hajAroM AdamI baiTha sakate hai| bIca meM eka sundara mandira hai, jisake darzana karane se mahAn puNyakA bandha hotA hai| mandira ke bAda eka choTA A~gana hai| vahA~se bAhara jAne kA mArga hai| usake For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 328 bAda eka chAtrAvAsa hai| bagalameM (rasoIghara) hai| yahA~ se thor3I dUra calakara rAnIghATapara zrI svargIya chedIlAlajIke dvArA nirmApita sundara mandira hai, jo lAkhoM rupaye kI lAgata kA hai| mandira ke nIce eka dharmazAlA bhI hai, jisameM syAdvAda vidyAlaya ke chAtragaNa rahate haiN| maiM bhI isI dharmazAlAmeM rahakara adhyayana karatA thaa| yahA~se tIna mIla calakara zahara ke bhItara maidAginameM eka bahuta hI sundara jina mandira hai| eka dharmazAlA bhI hai, jisameM yAtrIgaNa Thaharate haiN| yahA~para saba prakAra kI suvidhA hai| yahA~ se thor3e hI antarapara eka paMcAyatI mandira hai, jisameM bahuta jinabimba haiN| eka caityAlaya zrIkhaDgasena udayarAjakA bhI hai| banArasameM tIna dina rhaa| inhIM dinoMmeM syAdvAda vidyAlaya bhI gyaa| vahA~ paThana-pAThanakA bahuta hI uttama prabandha hai| yahA~ ke chAtra vyutpanna hI nikalate haiN| vinayake bhaNDAra haiN| zrImAn paNDita kailAzacandrajI, jo ki yahA~ke mukhyAdhyApaka haiM, bahuta suyogya haiN| Apa sahRdaya vyakti haiN| ApakA chAtroMke Upara bahuta sneha rahatA hai| paM. pannAlAlajI caudharI suparinTenDenTa haiN| Apa bahuta purAne kAryakartA evaM suyogya vyakti haiN| __ bAbU harSacandrajI vakIla isa vidyAlayake adhiSThAtA haiM aura ApahIke kAkA sAhaba khajAMcI haiN| bAbU banArasIdAsajI agaravAle isa vidyAlayake ananyabhakta the, parantu Apa paralokavAsI ho gye| samayakI balihArI hai ki aba saba chAtroM kI dRSTi pAzcAtya vidyAkI ora jhuka gaI hai| isakA phala kyA hogA! so vIraprabhu jaaneN| prAyaH sabakI dRSTi isa ora jA rahI hai ki zikSAkI bAta pazcAt aura AjIvikAkI phle| pratyeka saMsthAmeM aba isI bAtakI mImAMsA rahatI hai| yahA~se siMhapurI gye| siMhapurI (sAranAtha) meM vizAla mandira aura eka bRhad dharmazAlA hai, jisameM do sau manuSya sukhapUrvaka nivAsakara sakate haiN| dharmazAlAke ahAtemeM eka bar3A bhArI bAga hai| mandirameM itanA vizAla cauka hai ki jisameM pA~ca hajAra manuSya eka sAtha dharma zravaNa kara sakate haiN| ___ maiM jaba darzana karake vApisa A rahA thA, taba eka sAdhu milA / saMnyAsI thaa| kAnameM kuNDala pahane thaa| gorakhanAtha ko mAnanevAlA thaa| mujhase bolA-maiM darzana karanA cAhatA huuN| maine uttara diyA 'Apa sAnanda darzana kiijiye| usake For Personal & Private Use Only

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girirAjakI paidala yAtrA 329 pAsa eka jholI thI, jo usane mere pAsa rakha dii| maiMne kahA-isameM kucha hai to nahIM ?' usane kahA-'phakkar3ake pAsa kyA hotA hai ? phira bhI Apako sandeha hotA hai to dekha liijie| bhayakI bAta nahIM mere pAsa gItAkI eka pustaka, do laMgoTiyA~ tathA eka luTiyA hai| basa, aba jAU~ ?' maiMne khaa-'jaaiye|' vaha gayA aura pandraha minaTameM darzana kara vApisa A gyaa| mujhase bolA-'mUrti atyanta AkarSaka hai| dekhanese cittameM yahI bhAva AyA ki zAntikA mArga isI mudrAse prApta ho sakatA hai, parantu loga itane puNyazAlI nahIM ki usa lAbhake pAtra ho sakeM / astu, aba maiM jAtA huuN|' maine kahA-'maiM do ghaNTA bAda bhojana banAU~gA taba Apa bhojana karake jaanaa|' vaha bolA-maiM abhIse bhojanake liye nahIM Thahara sktaa| Apa kaSTa na kriye|' maiMne kahA- 'kucha vilamba kriye| vaha Thahara gyaa| maine jokhama naukarako bulAyA aura kahA ki 'eka pAva sattU aura Adha pAva zakkara inheM de do|' sunate hI sAtha vaha sAdhu bolA ki 'Apa to digambara sampradAyake haiN| kyA aisA niyama hai ki digambara sAdhuko chor3akara anya sabhI matake sAdhu sAthameM bhojanakI sAmagrI lekara calate haiN| jahA~ jAU~gA vahIM bhojana mila jaavegaa| Apa cintA na kiijiye|' maine use eka rupayA denekA prayatna kiyaa| vaha bolA ki 'Apa nivRtti mArgako dUSita karanekI ceSTA karate haiN| maiMne jisa dina sAdhutA aMgIkAra kI usI dinase dravya sparza karanekA tyAga kara diyA, parantu kheda hai ki Apako yaha vizvAsa ho gayA hai ki jaina sAdhuko chor3akara sabhI sAdhu parigrahI hote haiN| jainamatake siddhAntoM aura anya matake siddhAntoMmeM antara hai, yaha maiM bhI jAnatA hU~, parantu isakA yaha artha nahIM ki jaina hI tyAga kara sakate hoN| Apa mujhe lobhI banAnA cAhate ho, yaha kahA~ kA nyAya hai ? maine kahA-Apa relameM nahIM baiThate ? usane kahA-'phira vahI bAta ? relameM yA to paise vAlA baiThe yA jise lAteM tathA ghUsA khAnA ho vaha baiThe / maiM to jisa dinase sAdhu huA usI dinase savAriyoMkA tyAga kara diyaa| aura kucha pUchanA cAhate ho ?' maiMne khaa-nhiiN|' to aba jAtA hU~ parantu Apase eka bAta kahanA cAhatA hU~ aura vaha yaha ki Apa kisIkI parIkSA karane kI ceSTA kadApi na kriye| apanI parIkSA kiijiye| yadi ApakI koI parIkSA karane lage to Apa jisa dharmake siddhAnta para cala rahe hoM usakI parIkSAmeM kabhI uttIrNa nahIM hoMge, kyoMki Apake abhiprAyameM abhI AtmIya avaguNoMkI satya samAlocanA karane kI ruci nahIM haiN| yadi AtmotkarSakI For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 330 satya ruci hotI to prAtaHkAlakA bahumUlya samaya yoM hI na kho dete| isa samaya svAdhyAya kara tattvajJAnakI nirmalatA karate, parantu vaha to dUra rahA, vyartha hI mere sAtha eka ghaTikA samaya kho diyaa| itanemeM to maiM do mIla calA jAtA aura Apa do patra svAdhyAyameM pUrNa krte| parantu abhI vaha dRSTi nhiiN| abhI to parake guNa-doSa vivecana karane ke cakrameM par3e ho| jisa dina isa viSamatAke jAlase mukta ho jAoge usI dina svakIya kalyANa-pathake pathika svayameva ho jaaoge| yaha spaSTa bAta sunakara yadi Apako kucha udvignatA huI ho, to maiM jAtA huuN| merA abhiprAya Apako khinna karanekA nahIM, parantu Apa apanI viSama pariNatise svayaM udvigna ho jAveM to isameM merA kyA aparAdha hai? acchA nmste|' aisA kahakara vaha calA gyaa| ___maiMne vicAra kiyA ki anadhikAra kAryakA yahI phala hotA hai| mandirase dharmazAlA aayaa| bhojana taiyAra thA, ataH Anandase bhojanakara buddhadevakA mandira dekhaneke liye calA gyaa| jaina mandirase kucha hI dUrIpara buddhadevakA bahuta hI sundara mandira banA hai| isa mandirake banavAnevAle zrIdharmapAla sAdhu haiN| ye bauddhadharmake bahuta bhArI vidvAn haiN| yahA~ para bauddhadharmAnuyAyI bahutase sAdhu rahate haiN| mandirameM daravAjeke Upara eka sAdhu rahatA hai jo buddhadevakI jIvanI batAtA hai aura unake siddhAnta samajhAtA hai| yadi yaha avasthA vahA~ke jaina mandirameM bhI rahatI to Agata mahAzayoMko jainadharmakA bahuta kucha paricaya hotA jAtA, parantu logoMkA usa ora dhyAna nhiiN| ve to saMgamarmarakA pharza aura cUnA IMTa lagavAnemeM hI mahAn puNya samajhate haiN| astu| sabase mahatI truTi to isa samaya yaha hai ki isa dharmakA mAnanevAlA koI sArvajanika prabhAvazAlI puruSa nahIM hai| aise puruSake dvArA anAyAsa hI dharmakI vRddhi ho jAtI hai| yadyapi dharma AtmAkA svabhAva hai tathApi vyakta honeke lie kAraNakUTakI AvazyakatA hotI hai| jisa dharmameM prANimAtrake kalyANakA upadeza ho aura bAhyame khAdyapeya aise hoM ki jinase zArIrika svAsthya surakSita rahe tathA AtmapariNatikI nirmalatAmeM sahakArI kAraNa ho, phira bhI lokameM usakA pracAra na ho..........isakA mUla kAraNa jainadharmAnuyAyI prabhAvazAlI vyaktikA na honA hI haiN| Apa jAnate haiM ki gRhasthako madya mAMsa madhukA tyAga karanA jainadharmakA For Personal & Private Use Only

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girirAjakI paidala yAtrA 331 mUla siddhAnta hai| yaha bAta pratyakSa dekhanemeM AtI hai ki madirA pAna karanevAle unmatta ho jAte haiM aura unmatta hokara jo jo anartha karate haiM, saba jAnate haiN| madirA pAna karanevAloMkI to yahA~ taka pravRtti dekhI gaI ki ve agamyAgamana bhI kara baiThate haiN| madirAke nazemeM masta ho nAliyoMmeM par3a jAte haiN| kuttA mukhameM pezAba kara rahA hai phira bhI madhura-madhura kaha kara pAna karate jAte haiN| bar3e-bar3e kulIna manuSya isake naze meM apanA sarvasva kho baiThate haiN| unheM, dharmakathA nahIM ructii| kevala vezyAdi vyavasanoMmeM lIna rahakara ihaloka aura paraloka donoMkI avahelanA karate rahate haiN| isI ko zrIamRtacandra svAmIne puruSArthasiddhayupAyameM acchI taraha darzAyA hai| likhate haiM 'madyaM mohayati mano mohitacittastu vismarati dhrmm| vismRtadharmo jIvo hiMsAM niHshdd.kmaacrti||' madirA manako mohita karatI hai| jisakA citta mohita ho jAtA hai vaha dharmako bhUla jAtA hai aura jo manuSya dharmako bhUla jAtA hai vaha niHzaD.ka hokara hiMsAkA AcaraNa karatA hai| jainadharmakA dUsarA siddhAnta yaha hai ki mAMsa bhakSaNa nahIM karanA caahiye| mAMsakI utpatti jIvaghAtake binA nahIM hotii| jarA vicAroM to sahI ki jisa prakAra hameM apane prANa pyAre haiM usI prakAra anya prANiyoMko kyA unake prANa pyAre na hoMge? jaba jarAsI suI cubha jAne athavA kA~TA laga jAnese hameM mahatI vedanA hotI hai taba talavAra se galA kATane para anya prANiyoMko kitanI vedanA hotI hogI ? parantu hiMsaka jIvoMko itanA viveka kahA~ ? hiMsaka jIvoMko dekhanese hI bhayakA saMcAra hone lagatA hai| hAthI itanA bar3A hotA hai ki yadi siMhapara para paira rakha de to usakA prANAnta ho jAve, parantu vaha siMhase bhayabhIta ho jAtA hai| krUra siMha chalAMga mAra kara hAthI ke mastakapara dhAvA bola detA hai| isIse usako gajAri kahate haiN| mAMsa khAnevAle atyanta krUra ho jAte haiN| unase saMsArakA upakAra na huA hai na hogaa| bhAratavarSa dayApradhAna deza thaa| isane saMsArake prANImAtrako dharmakA upadeza sunAyA hai| yahA~ aise-aise RSi utpanna hae ki jinake avalokanase kara jIva bhI zAnta ho jAte the| jaisA ki eka jagaha kahA hai'sAraGagI siMhazAvaM spRzati sutadhiyA nandinI vyAghrapotaM mArjAro haMsabAlaM praNayaparavazaM kekikAntA bhujaDa,gam / For Personal & Private Use Only

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332 merI jIvanagAthA vairANyAjanmajAtAnyapi galitamadA jantavo'nye tyajanti zritvA sAmyaikarUDhaM prazamitakaluSaM yoginaM kSINamoham / ' jinakA moha naSTa ho cukA hai, kaluSatA zAnta ho cukI hai aura jo samabhAva meM ArUr3ha haiM aise yogIzvaroMkA Azraya pAkara hiraNI siMhake bAlakako apanA putra samajha kara sparza karane lagatI hai, gAya vyAghrake bAlakako apanA putra samajhane lagatI hai, billI haMsake bAlakako aura mayUrI premake paravaza hue sarpako sparza karane lagatI hai....isa prakAra virodhI jantu mada rahita hokara AjanmajAta vaira bhAvako chor3e dete haiM- sabameM paraspara maitrIbhAva ho jAtA hai / kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki jinakI AtmA rAga, dveSa, mohase rahita ho jAtI hai unake sAnnidhya meM krUrase krUra jIva bhI zAntabhAvako prApta ho jAte haiM, isameM AzcaryakI kyA bAta hai, kyoki AtmAkA svabhAva azAnta nahIM hai / jisa prakAra jalakA svabhAva zItala hai, parantu agnikA nimitta pAkara garma ho jAtA hai aura agnikA nimitta dUra hote hI punaH zItala ho jAtA hai, usI prakAra AtmA svabhAva se zAnta hai, parantu karmakalaD kakA nimitta pAkara azAnta ho rahA hai| jyoM hI karmakalaDa makakA nimitta dUra huA tyoMhI punaH zAnta ho jAtA hai| kahanekA abhiprAya yaha hai ki yadyapi siMhAdika krUra jantu haiM to bhI unakI AtmA zAnta svabhAvavAlI hai, isIliye yogIzvaroM ke pAdamUlakA nimitta pAkara azAnti dUra ho jAtI hai| yogiyoMke pAdamUlakA Azraya pAkara unakI upAdAnazaktikA vikAsa ho jAtA hai, ataH mohI jIvoMko uttama nimitta milAnekI AvazyakatA hai| yogI honA kucha kaThina bAta nahIM / parantu hama rAga, dveSa aura mohake vazIbhUta hokara nirantara apane-parAye guNa-doSa dekhate rahate haiN| vItarAga pariNatikA, AtmAkA svabhAva hai, amala nahI karate / yahI kAraNa hai ki Ajanma duHkhake pAtra rahate haiM / jinhoMne rAga, dveSa, mohako jIta liyA unakI dazA laukika mAnavoMse bhinna ho jAtI hai| jaisA ki kahA hai | 'ekaH pUjAM racayati naraH pArijAtaprasUnaiH kruddhaH kaNThe kSipati bhujaMga hantukAmastato'nyaH / tulyA vRttirbhavati ca tayoryasya nityaM sa yogI sAmyArAmaM vizati paramajJAnadattAvakAzam / / ' 'jisa mahAnubhAva yogI kI aisI vRtti ho gaI hai ki koI to vinaya pUrvaka pArijAtake puSpoMse pUjA kara rahA hai aura koI kruddha hokara mArane kI For Personal & Private Use Only

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girirAjakI paidala yAtrA 333 icchAse kaNThameM sarpa DAla rahA hai, parantu una donoMmeM hI jisakI saMdA ekasI vRtti rahatI hai vahI yogIzvara samabhAvarUpI ArAmameM praveza karatA hai| aise samabhAvarUpI krIDAvanameM hI kevalajJAnake prakAza honekA avakAza hai| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki jahA~ AtmAmeM nirmalatA A jAtI hai vahA~ zatrumitrabhAvakI kalpanA nahIM hotii| isakA yaha tAtparya nahIM ki ve zatru-mitrake svarUpako nahIM samajhate haiM, kyoki vaha to jJAnakA viSaya hai| parantu mohakA abhAva hone se unake zatru-mitrakI kalpanA nahIM hotii| isa samaya aise mahApurUSoMkI viralatA hI kyA, abhAva hI hai, isaliye saMsArameM azAntikA sAmrAjya hai| . jisake mukhase suno, 'paropakAra karanA cAhie' yahI bAta nikalatI hai, parantu apaneko Adarza banAkara paropakAra karanekI pravRtti nahIM dekhI jAtI / jaba taka manuSya svayaM Adarza nahI banatA taba taka usakA saMsArameM kucha bhI prabhAva nahIM par3a sktaa| yahI kAraNa hai ki aneka prayatna hone para bhI samAjakI unnati nahIM dekhI jaatii| jainadharmakA tIsarA siddhAnta madhutyAga karanA hai| madhu kyA hai? ananta sammarchana jIvoMkA nikAya hai, makkhiyoMkA ucchiSTa hai| parantu kyA kaheM jihAlampaTI puruSoMkI bAta ? unheM to rasAsvAdase matalaba, cAhe usakI eka bUMdameM ananta jIvokA saMhAra kyoM na ho jaay| jinameM jainatvakA kucha aMza hai, jinake hRdayameM dayAkA kucha saMcAra hai unakI pravRtti to isa ora svapnameM bhI nahIM honI caahiye| yaha kAlakA prabhAva hI samajhanA cAhiye ki manuSya dina pratidina indriyalampaTI hokara dhArmika vyavasthAko bhaMga karate jAte haiM aura jisake kAraNa samAja avanata hotI jA rahI hai| rAjAoMke dvArA samAjakA bahuta aMzameM utthAna hotA thA, parantu isa samayakI blihaarii| unakA AcaraNa jaisA ho rahA hai vaha Apa prajAke AcaraNase anumAna kara sakate haiN| jainiyoMmeM yadyapi rAjA nahIM, to bhI unake samAna vaibhavazAlI aneka mahAnubhAva haiM aura unake sadRza adhikAMza prajAvarga bhI hai| isakI vizeSa samAlocanA Apa loga svayaM kara sakate haiM ....... isa tarahake aneka vikalpa uThate rhe| siMhapurImeM tIna dina rhaa| :7: ____siMhapurIse calakara mogalasarAyake pAsa eka zivAlayameM rAtrike samaya Thahara gye| svAdhyAya dvArA samayakA sadupayoga kiyA, prAtaHkAla yahA~se cala diye aura mogalasarAyase cAra mIlakI dUrIpara eka dharmazAlAmeM Thahara gye| For Personal & Private Use Only

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334 merI jIvanagAthA bhojanAdise nivRtta hokara jaba calane lage taba bahuta bArisa huii| mArga meM bar3A kaSTa paayaa| pA~ca mIla calakara eka skUlameM Thahara gaye / mAsTara sAhaba bahuta sajjana purUSa the| unhoMne skUla khAlI karA diyA, dhAnyakA piyAla ma~gA diyA tathA sarva prakArakA subhItA karA diyaa| hama logoMne unake sAtha puSkala dharmacarcAkI | Apa jainadharmake siddhAntoMkI prazaMsA karane lage / yahA~se ATha dina bAda hama loga sakuzala DAlamiyAnagara pahu~ca gaye / yaha nagara sonabhadra nadIke taTapara basA huA hai / yahA~para zrIrAmakRSNajI DAlamiyA, jo ki bhAratavarSa ke gaNyamAnya vyApAriyoMmeM pramukha haiM, nivAsa karate haiM / isIse yaha nagara 'DAlamiyAnagara' isa nAmase prasiddha ho gayA hai| ApakI suputrI ramArAnI hai jo ki AMglavidyAmeM viduSI hai| viduSI hI nahIM, dayAkI mUrti haiM / Apake saujanyakA prabhAva sAdhAraNa janatApara acchA hai| ApakI veSabhUSA sAdhAraNa hai| Apako bhUSaNoM se kucha bhI prema nahIM / nirantara jJAnArjanameM hI apanA samaya lagAtI haiN| ApakA sambandha zrImAn sAhu zAntiprasAdajI najIbAbAdavAloMke sAtha huA hai| ApakA kula jainiyoMmeM prasiddha hai / Apa pAzcAtya vidyAke paNDita hI nahIM, jainadharmake mahAn zraddhAlu bhI haiN| Apake prayatnase yahA~ eka jainamandira sthApita ho gayA hai| Apa pratidina usameM yathAsamaya dharmakArya karate haiN| ApakI mAtA bahuta dharmAtmA haiM / unake nAmase ApakI dharmapatnIne chaha lAkha rUpayA dAnameM nikAlA hai| Apake do putra haiM / ekakA nAma azoka aura dUsarekA nAma Aloka | inakI zikSAke liye Apane zrImAn nemicandrajI ema. e., jo zrImAn paM. kundanalAlajI kaTanIke suputra haiM, rakha chor3A hai| unhIMkI dekharekhameM bAlakoMkI zikSA hotI hai / zrIciraMjIvI azoka bahuta hI alpavayameM enTresa pAsakara cukA hai| eka dinakI bAta haiM- Aloka baccA, jo chaH varSakA hogA, hamase kahane lagA- Apa jAnate haiM hamAre bar3e bhAIkA nAma azoka kyoM par3A ?' maine kahA-jaise lokameM nAma rakha lete haiM vaise hI Apake bhAIkA nAma rakha liyA hogA / ' Aloka kahane lagA- 'nahI, isameM kucha vizeSa rahasya hai| yadi Apako samaya ho to khuuN|' maiMne kahA- 'Anandase khiye|' vaha kahane lagA- 'hamAre mAtA-pitAke koI santAna na thI, isase una donoMke hRdayameM kucha udvignatA rahatI thI aura kucha zoka bhii| jaba isa bAlakakA janma huA taba hamAre mAtA-pitAko apUrva Ananda huA / unakA saba zoka naSTa ho gayA, isalie unhoMne isakA azoka nAma rakha liyA / yaha bAlaka candravat bar3hane lagA aura For Personal & Private Use Only

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girirAjakI paidala yAtrA 335 Aja ensameM par3hatA hai| bahuta hI suyogya hai / aisA puNyazAlI hai ki ise suyogya zikSaka zrI nemicandrajI ema. e., jo ki atyanta sadAcArI aura nipuNa haiM, mila gaye / ' maine kahA- yaha to tumane acchA kahA, parantu yaha to batAoM ki tumhArA nAma Aloka kyoM pdd'aa|' vaha bolA- isameM bhI kucha rahasya hai- jisa dina merA janma huA, usa dina dIpamAlikA thii| nagara bharameM prakAzapuJja vyApta thA, isase pitAjIne merA nAma Aloka rakha liyA / ' maine kahA - 'bahuta ThIka, parantu yaha to batAo ki ApakI mAtAkA nAma ramAdevI kyoM huA ?' bAlaka bolA- 'inake vaibhavase hI inakA ramAdevI nAma sArthaka haiN| phira apane Apa bolA- 'aba zAyada Apa yaha pUcheMge ki pitAjIkA nAma zAntiprasAda kyoM huA ? maiMne kahA- haaN|' usane uttara diyA- jinake azoka aura Aloka se suputra hoM, ramA-sI, suzIlA aura viduSI gRhiNI ho, phira bhalA ve zAntike pAtra na hoM to kauna hogA ?' maiM bAlakakI tArkika buddhise bahuta prasanna huA / yaha saba sAmagrI acche nimitta milanese zrIzAntiprasAdajIko prApta huI hai jo ki vizeSa puNyodayameM sahAyaka hai| vartamAnameM bhI Apa paropakArAdi kAryoMmeM apane samayakA sadupayoga karateM haiM / Apako vizeSa kArya thA, isaliye Apa kalakattA cale gye| maiM yahA~para eka dina rahA / I : 5: DAlamiyAnagarase calakara auraMgAbAda tthhraa| yahA~para bAbU govidalAlajI A gaye tathA eka dinake lie bAbU kanhaiyAlAlajI bhI A pahu~ce / Apa bahuta hI ziSTa haiN| jabataka gayA nahIM pahu~ce tabataka ApakA eka AdamI sAtha banA rahA / yahA~se campArana phuNce| yahA~para kaI ghara khaNDelavAloMke haiM jo ki uttama AcaraNavAle haiM / yahA~para eka bahuta hI sundara mandira hai / yahA~ke nivAsiyoM meM paraspara kucha vaimanasya thA, jo prayatna karanese zAnta ho gayA / yahA~se gayAke lie prasthAnakara diyaa| mArgameM karmanAzA nadI milii| usakA jala manuSya upayogameM nahIM laate| logoMkI yaha zraddhA hai ki isakA jala sparza karanese puNya kSaya hotA hai| Age calakara eka punapunagaMgA milii| lokameM isakA mahattva bahuta hai| isake viSayameM logoMkI zradvA hai ki isameM snAna karanese pitRlogoMko zAnti milatI hai / yahA~ se calakara do dinameM zeraghATI aura vahA~se calakara do dinameM gayA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 336 A gye| zrIyut bAbU kanhaiyAlAlajIke yahA~ tthhre| Apane bahuta hI Atithya-satkAra kiyaa| yahA~ para bAbU govindalAlajI, cidAnandajI tyAgI tathA bAlacandrajI tyAgI babInAvAle A gye| yahA~ do mandira haiM-eka caukameM aura eka prAcIna gayA meN| prAcIna gayAkA mandira bahuta prAcIna hai| tInasau varSakA hai| kAThakA kAma bahuta sundara hai| bAbU govindalAlajI sAhaba isakA prabandha karate hai| eka pujArI mandira kI pUjA karatA hai / yahA~ para eka dharmazAlA seTha sUrajamallajIkI hai, jisameM mahArAjoMse lekara sAdhAraNa manuSya taka Thahara sakate haiN| vartamAnameM dasa lAkha lAgatakI hogii| prabandha uttama hai| yahA~ se pA~ca mIla bauddha gayAkA mandira hai jo bahuta prAcIna hai| yahA~ para buddhadevane tapazcaryA kara zAntilAbha kiyA thaa| bahuta zAntikA sthAna hai| mandira bhI unnata hai| pahale isakI jo kucha bhI vyavasthA rahI ho, parantu Aja usa mandira ke svAmI gayA ke mahanta haiN| mUrtikI dazA vaiSNava sampradAyake anusAra ho gaI hai aura pUjA bhI usI sampradAyake anusAra hone lagI hai| yahA~ bauddha loga bahuta Ate haiM, tibbata, cIna, jApAna Adike bhI yAtrI Ate haiM aura buddhadeva ke darzana kara dIpAvalI lagAte haiN| 'gayAmeM zrAddha karane se bIsa pIr3hiyA~ tara jAtI haiM'.....aisI kimvadantI prasiddha hai| jo bhI ho, loga to kalyANakI bhAvanAse dAna karate haiN| lAkhoM rupayA prativarSa yahA~ se dAnameM AtA parantu jaisA AtA hai vaisA hI calA jAtA hai| pahale yahA~ caudaha sau ghara paNDoMke the, parantu aba kama ho gaye haiN| do sau gharase adhika na hoNge| yahA~ eka saMskRta vidyAlaya hai jisameM AcArya parIkSA taka par3hAI hotI hai| vyAkaraNa, nyAya, mImAMsA, vedAnta, sAMkhya, sAhitya Adi zAstroMkA paThana-pAThana hotA hai| eka pAThazAlA jainiyoMkI bhI hai, jisameM nityaniyamapUjA, chahaDhAlA, dravyasaMgraha tathA sUtrajI taka par3hAI hotI hai| yahA~ke jainI prAyaH sampanna haiN| navIna mandira kI pratiSThA bar3I dhUmadhAmase huI thii| usa samaya mandirako eka lAkha kI Aya huI thI, parantu usake rupayekA upayoga kevala bAhA kAryoM meM huaa| eka to 25000) kA ratha bnaa| dUsare usakI sajAvaTakI sAmagrI kharIdI gii| isI taraha zeSa rupayA vyaya ho ge| yahA~ para pAThazAlAke liye bhI pacIsa hajAra rupayAkA candA huA thA parantu usakA abhI taka yogya rIti se upayoga nahIM ho sakA / yahA~ para dharmakI ruci acchI hai| kaI gharoMmeM zuddha bhojana hotA hai| AcAra-vicAra acchA hai| yahA~ For Personal & Private Use Only

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girirAjakI vandanA 337 I patAsIbAI eka Adarza mahilAratna haiM / ApakI ruci nirantara vratapAlana aura svAdhyAyameM lIna rahatI haiN| hRdayakI atyanta komala haiN| zikSApracArake liye bahuta kucha dAna karatI rahatI haiM / yahA~ eka pustakAlaya bahuta sundara hai, jisameM saba tarahake grantha aura prAcIna vastuoM kA saMgraha hai / yahA~se cala kara bIcameM bar3e-bar3e sundara dRzya dekhaneke liye mile| eka dhanuvA-bhaluAkA vana milA jo bAraha mIla vistRta hai / bIcameM eka rAjA kA makAna banA hai| vaha sthAna dharmasAdhana ke liye ati uttama hai, parantu vahA~ rAjA sAhaba kevala AraNya pazuoMkA ghAta karaneke liye Ate haiM / yahI puruSArtha Aja kala isa puNyakSetrameM raha gayA hai| Age calakara nirmala pAnIkA jharanA milA, jisakA jala itanA uSNa thA ki khaulate hue jalase bhI kahIM adhika thA / sau gajake bAda meM kuNDa meM jaba vaha jala pahu~catA thA taba snAna karaneke yogya hotA thA / isa jalameM snAna karanese khAja Adi roga nivRta ho jAte haiN| logoM kA kahanA to yahA~ taka hai ki isase saba prakArake carmaroga dUra ho jAte haiM / yahA~se calakara ATha dina bAda zrIgirirAja pahu~ca gye| apUrva Ananda huA / mArgakI saba thakAvaTa ekadama dUra ho gii| 1 1 girirAjakI vandanA usI dina zrIgirirAjakI yAtrAke liye cala diye / parvatarAjake sparzase 1 pariNAmoM meM zAntikA udaya huA / zrIkunthunAtha svAmI kI ToMka para pUjana kI / anantara vandanA karate hue dasa baje zrIpArzvanAtha svAmI ke mandirameM phuNce| ASTAnikaparva thA, isase bahuta yAtrIgaNa vahA~ para the| eka ghaNTA tattvacarcA hotI rhii| sabakI yahI lAlasA rahI ki kaba aisA avasara Ave ki hamaloga bhI daigambarI mudrA dhAraNa kara saMsAra bandhanako chedeM / AtmAkA svabhAva hI aisA hai ki vaha svatantratAko cAhatA hai / paratantratA AtmAkI pariNati nahIM / vaha to anAdi ajJAnatAke prabhAvase calI A rahI hai| usake dvArA isakI jo-jo durgati ho rahI hai vaha sarva anubhavagamya hai / jIva jo-jo paryAya pAtA hai usImeM nijatva mAnakara caina karane lagatA hai / ina saba upadravoMkA mUlakAraNa ajJAnatA hai| yaha saba jAnate haiM, parantu isako dUra karanekA prayAsa nahIM karate / bAhya padArthoMko duHkhakA kAraNa jAna unase dUra rahane kI ceSTA karate haiM, parantu ve padArtha to bhinna haiM hI - svarUpase sarvathA jude haiM aura isakA kucha bhI sudhAra bigAr3a nahI kara skte| yaha jIva For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 338 kevala AtmIya ajJAna se hI unheM sukha tathA duHkha kA kAraNa mAna letA hai / kAmalArogavAlA zveta zaMkhako pIta mAna letA hai para vAstava meM vaha pIlA nhii| yaha to usake netrakA hI doSa hai| hama loga usa ajJAnakI nivRttikA to prayatna karate nahIM, kevala parapadArthoM meM guNa doSakI kalpanA karake janma kho dete haiN| yaha saba mohakI mahimA hai|...... isa prakAra saba loga vicAra karane meM apane samaya kA sadupayoga kara rahe the ki itanemeM eka tyAgI mahAzaya bola uThemadhyAhnakI sAmAyikakA samaya ho gyaa| saba tyAgImaNDalane vahIM zrIpArzvaprabhuke caraNamUlameM sAmAyika kii| pazcAt vahA~se calakara tIna baje madhuvana A gye| bhojana kara ArAma kiyaa| sAyaMkAla cabUtarAke Upara sAmAyika Adi karake mandirajImeM zAstrapravacana sunaa| __ IsarImeM udAsInAzrama zAstra-pravacanake anantara sabake mukhakamalase yahI dhvani nikalI ki saMsAra-bandhanase chUTaneke liye yahA~ rahA jAya aura dharmasAdhanake liye yahA~ eka Azrama kholA jaave| usImeM raha kara hama saba dharmasAdhana kreN| isa goSThImeM zrImAn bAbU sakhIcandrajI, zrIseThI campAlAlajI gayA, zrIrAmacandrajI bAbU giriDIha, zrI bhorIlAlajI seThI hajArIbAgaroDa, zrI bAbU kanhaiyAlAlajI gayA, bAbU govindalAlajI gayA, bAbU sUrajamalla jI paTanA, seTha kamalApatijI barAyaThA, zrI paM. pannAlAlajI mainejara terApanthI koThI tathA bAbU ghAsIrAmajI IsarI Adi mahAnubhAva the| sabakI sammati huI ki IsarImeM eka udAsInAzrama kholA jaave| isake liye do sau rupayA mAsika kA candA huaa| kucha dera bAda seThI campAlAlajI gayAne bAbU sUrajamallajI se kahA-'Apane kahA thA ki maiM svayaM eka Azrama banavAU~gA, aba Apa kyo nahIM banavAte ?' pahale to unhoMne AnAkAnI kii| pazcAt kahA-'yadi Apa loga mujhase AzramakA makAna banavAnA cAhate haiM to maiM isameM kisIkA candA na lU~gA, akelA hI ise claauuNgaa|' saba logoMne harSadhvanike sAtha svIkAra kiyaa| unhoMne eka bar3I bhArI jamIna kharIda kara usameM AzramakI nIMva DAlI aura paccIsa hajAra rupaye lagAkara bar3A bhArI Azrama banavA diyA, jisameM paccIsa brahmacArI sAnanda dharma sAdhana kara sakate haiN| Azrama hI nahIM, eka sarasvatIbhavana bhI daravAjeke Upara banavA diyA aura nijake dharmasAdhanake lie eka maMjalA makAna pRthak bnvaayaa| itanA hI nahIM, AzramakI rakSAke liye For Personal & Private Use Only

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IsarImeM udAsInAzrama 339 kalakattAkA eka bar3A makAna, jisakA do sau rupayA mAsika bhAr3A AtA hai, lagA diyA aura usakA vidhivat TrasTa bhI kara diyA / vartamAnameM chaH udAsIna usameM rahate haiM / saba tarahake dharmasAdhanakA subhItA hai| zrIbharIlAlajIke pitA aura bAbU govindalAlajI apane kharcase rahate haiN| zrI bhoMrIlAlajIke pitA premasukhajIkI dekharekhameM Azrama sAnanda calane lagA / AzramavAsI tyAgI apanA kAla nirantara dharma sAdhanameM lagAte haiM / zrIyut pyArelAla bhagatajI isake adhiSThAtA haiN| Apa indaura Azramake bhI adhiSThAtA haiN| sAlameM do bAra Ate haiM / zAnta svabhAva aura dayAlu haiN| Apake dvArA rAjAkher3A meM bar3I bhArI pAThazAlA cala rahI hai| usakA saMcAlana bhI Apake hI dvArA hotA hai / sAlameM eka yA do bAra Apa vahA~ jAte haiN| kalakattAke bar3e-bar3e seTha Apake anuyAyI haiN| bAbU sakhIcandrajI kesarehinda Apase dharmakAryoMmeM pUrNa sammati lete the| zrImAn sara seTha hukumacandrajIkI dharmagoSThImeM Apa pramukha haiM / Apake viSayameM adhika kyA likhU~ itanA hI basa hai ki Apa mere jIvanake prANa 1 1 kucha dinake bAda yahA~ para zrI patAsIbAI gayA aura kRSNAbAI kalakattA Akara dharmasAdhana karane lgiiN| Apake sAtha-sAtha AgarAvAlI bAiyA~ bhI thiiN| ina bAiyoMmeM zrI patAsIbAI gayAvAlI bahuta vivekavatI haiN| Apako zAstrajJAna bahuta hI uttama hai| Apa virakta haiM, nirantara svAdhyAyameM kAla lagAtI haiM pratidina atithiko dAna denemeM ApakI pravRtti rahatI hai| Apake dvArA gayAkI strIsamAjameM bahuta hI sudhAra huA hai| Apake prayatnase vahA~ strIzikSAke liye pandraha hajAra rupayA ho gayA hai / Apane do hajAra rupayA syAdvAda vidyAlaya banArasako diye haiN| kevala sau rupayA vArSika sUdakA letI haiN| merI Apane bAIjI kI taraha rakSA kI hai / isI taraha kRSNAbAI bhI uttama prakRti kI haiN| Apako gommaTasArakA bodha haiN| sAmAyikameM trimUrti kI taraha sthira baiThI rahatI haiN| eka bAra bhojana karatI haiN| do dhotiyA~ tathA or3hane bichAne ke lie do caddara rakhatI haiM / bhayaMkara zItakAlameM ekahI caddarake Azraya par3I rahatI haiM / nirantara apanA samaya svAdhyAyameM bitAtI haiN| sAtha meM inake eka brAhmaNI hai jo bahuta hI vivekavAlI haiN| aba Apa IsarIse zrI mahAvIrako calI gaI haiN| vahA~ Apane eka mumukSu mahilAzrama kholA hai| Apake pAsa jo dravya thA vaha bhI usImeM lagA diyA hai| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 340 usakA saMcAlana bhI svayaM karatI haiN| jo vidhavAe~ usameM par3haneke liye AtI haiM unheM vaidhavyadIkSA pahale lenI par3atI hai| IsarImeMjo bhI bAiyA~ haiM, sabhI saMsArase virakta haiN| kabhI-kabhI yahA~ samAja prakhyAta zrIcandAbAI bhI ArAse A jAtI haiN| Apake viSayameM kyA likhU, Apa to jagatprakhyAta hI haiN| jainiyoMmeM zAyada hI koI ho jo Apake nAmase paricita na ho| ApakA kAla nirantara svAdhyAyameM jAtA hai| Apa lagAtAra do mAha taka yahA~ rahatI haiN| tattvacarcAmeM atinipuNa haiN| vyAkhyAnameM Apake samAna strI-samAjameM to dUra rahI, puruSa samAjameM bhI virale haiN| ApakA svabhAva atyanta komala haiN| Apake sAtha zrInirmala bAba kI mA~ bhI AtI haiN| ApakI nirmamatA avarNanIya hai| Apa nirantara gRhasthImeM rahakara bhI jalameM kamalakI taraha nirlepa rahatI haiN| kucha dinake bAda dhanyakumArajI bhI sapatnIka yahA~ A gye| ApakA nivAsasthAna vAr3a thaa| Apa bahuta hI saMyamI haiN| strIpurUSa donoM hI brahmacaryavrata pAlana karate haiN| jaba donoM sAtha-sAtha pUjana karate haiM taba aisA mAlUma hotA hai mAnoM bhAI bahina hoN| ApakA bhojana bar3A sAttvika hai| Apane kaI pustakoMkI racanA kI hai| nirantara pustakAvalokana karate rahate haiN| mere sAtha ApakA bahuta sneha hai ApakA kahanA thA ki IsarI mata chor3o anyathA pachatAoMge, vahI huaa| saMsArameM gRhasthabhAra chor3anA bahuta kaThina hai| jo gRhasthabhAra chor3akara phira gRhasthoMko apanAte haiM unake samAna mUrkha kauna hogA ? maine apane kuTumbakA sambandha chodd'aa| mA~ bApa mere haiM nhiiN| eka cacerA bhAI hai, usase sambandha nhiiN| ghara chor3aneke bAda zrIbAIjIse merA samandha ho gayA aura unhoMne putravat merA pAlana kiyaa| maiM jaba kabhI bAhara jAtA thA taba bAIjIkI mAtAtulya hI smRti A jAtI thii| unake svargAroharaNake anantara maiM IsarI calA gyaa| vahA~ sAta varSa Anandase rhaa| isa bIca meM bahuta kucha zAnti milii| yaha IsarI hai zrImAn sakhIcandrajI kaizarehindase merA ghaniSTha sambandha thaa| Apa bahuta hI dhArmika vyakti the| pratidina jinendradevakA pUjana karate the| svAdhyAya to prAyaH ahorAtri hI karate rahate the| tattvacarcAse Apako bahuta prema thaa| Apane apanA antima jIvana dhArmika kAryomeM hI bitAnekA dRr3hasaMkalpa kara liyA thA, isalie Apane nimiyAghATameM eka acchA baMgalA banavAyA aura usImeM adhikatara For Personal & Private Use Only

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yaha IsarI hai 341 rahane lge| baMgalAmeM caityAlaya bhI sthApita karA liyaa| ApakI dharmapatnI nirantara pUjA karatI haiN| yadyapi Apa vaiSNavakI kanyA haiM tathApi jainadharmase ApakA aTUTa anurAga hai| yadi koI tyAgI vratI A jAve to usake AhArAdikI vyavasthA Apake yahA~ anAyAsa ho jAtI hai| Apake do suputra haiN| donoM hI sajjana aura suzIla haiN| zrI sakhIcandrajI sAhabakI eka bahina hai jo bahuta hI dharmAtmA aura udAra haiN| Apa vidhavA haiN| nirantara dharmasAdhanAmeM ApakA kAla jAtA hai| maiM bhI prAyaH sAlameM tIna mAsa nimiyAghATa rahatA thaa| yahA~se zrIpArzvanAtha svAmIkI yAtrA bar3I sugamatAse ho jAtI hai| DAkabaMgalA taka sar3aka hai, jisameM riksA bhI jA sakatA hai| bahuta hI manorama dRzya hai| bIca meM cAra mIlake bAda eka sundara pAnI kA jharanA par3atA hai| yahA~ para pAnI pInese saba thakAvaTa calI jAtI hai| yahA~ kA jala amRtopama hai| yadi yahA~ koI dharmasAdhanA kare to jharanAke Upara eka kuTI hai, parantu aisA nirmama kauna hai jo isa nirvANabhUmikA lAbha le sake / athavA sAdhanoMke abhAvameM koI utsAha bhI kare to kyA kare ? eka anya matakA sAdhu yahA~ para rahatA thaa| ATha dina bAda nimiyAghATa AtA thaa| zrI sakhIcandrajI usakI bhojanavyavasthA kara dete the| thor3e dina bAda vaha paralokayAtrA kara gyaa| nimiyAghATameM yadi koI rahe to yahA~ dharmasAdhanake liye ArAvAloM kI eka uttama dharmazAlA hai| dukAnadAra bhI yahA~ rahate haiM, jisase bhojanAdi sAmagrIkA bhI subhItA hai| parantu yahA~ koI rahatA nhiiN| usakA kAraNa hai ki udAsInAzrama IsarImeM hI hai, ataH jo tyAgI Ate haiM ve vahIM rahate haiN| __ zrIpremasukhajI bahuta sajjana dharmAtmA haiN| ApakA kuTumbase moha nhiiN| eka bAra aSTAhnikAparvameM Apako jvara A gyaa| cAra dina taka Apa barAbara mandira jAte rahe, phira sAmarthya nahIM rhii| hajArIbAgaroDase Apake bhAI, lar3akA bahU Adi saba A gye| sabane ApakI vaiyAvRtya kI para Apane kisIse moha nahIM kiyaa| Apake samAdhimaraNameM zrI lAlA sumerucandrajI jagAdharIvAle, maiM tathA anya tyAgIgaNa barAbara saMlagna rhe| antameM Apane zAntipUrvaka prANoMkA visarjana kiyaa| pA~ca sau rupayA dAna kara gye| isI prakAra yahA~ para eka jagannAtha bAbA bhivAnIvAle rahate the| bahuta dhArmika aura kuzala vyakti the| merese ApakA ghaniSTha sneha thaa| jaba Apa bImAra par3e taba mujhase bole aba merA bacanA kaThina hai, mujhe dharma sunaao| maiM For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 342 sunAtA rhaa| Azramake tyAgI bhI barAbara dharma sunAte rhe| antameM nirvANa amAvasyake dina Apa bole ki 'lADU utsava karake jaldI aao|' maiMne kahA-'pazcAt calA jaauuNgaa| Apa bole-'nahI jaldI jAo aura jaldI hI A jaao|' mai mahAvIra svAmIkI nirvANa pUjA kara vApisa A gyaa| Apa bole-gulavanasaphAkA kAr3hA laao|' maiM kAr3hA banA laayaa| bAbA bole-utthaao|' maiMne uThAkara kAr3hA pilaayaa| Apa bole-'aba na bceNge|' 'Namo arihaMtANaM' zabdakA uccAraNa kiyaa| pazcAt pezAbako baitthe| pezAbake bAda bistara para aaye| donoM hAtha mastakase lagAye, itanemeM hI Apake prANa pakheru ur3a gye| Apake pAsa jo dravya thA Azramake liye de gye| isI taraha yahA~para zyAmalAlajI tyAgIke pitAkA samAdhimaraNa huaa| ApakA maraNa isa rItise huA jisa rIti se prAyaH uttama puruSoMkA hotA hai| Apa prAtaHkAla baiThe the, kullA kiyA aura parameSThIkA nAma liyaa| lar3akene kahA-'bolate kyoM nahIM ?' basa ApakA prANa nikala gyaa| isI taraha bAbA lAlacandrajIkA bhI yahA~ samAdhikapUrvaka svargavAsa huaa| vAstavameM yaha sthAna samAdhike liye atyanta upayukta hai| lAlA sumerucandrajI bar3e dharmAtmA haiN| Apa jagAdharI (paMjAba) ke rahane vAle haiN| Apake eka bhAI the, jinakA aba svargavAsa ho gayA hai| do suputra haiN| ekakA nAma munnAlAla aura dUsarekA nAma sumatiprasAda hai| donoM hI zIla svabhAvavAle haiN| Apake bar3e suputra eka bAra mere pAsa Aye aura bole 'mujhe kucha vrata diijiye|' maiMne kahA-sabase mahAn vrata brahmacarya hai (brahmacaryase merA tAtparya svadArasantoSase hai)|" Apane pahale svIkAra karate hue kahA-'yaha to gRhasthoMkA mukhya kartavya hI hai| isameM koI mahattvakA kArya nahIM, kucha aura diijiye|' maine kahA-aSTamI, caturdazI, tInoM samaya aSThAhnikAmeM aura bhAdramAsake solahakAraNoMmeM brahmacaryase rho|' Apane saharSa svIkAra kiyaa| anantara maiMne kahA-'nyAyase dhanArjana karanA caahiye| yaha bhI Apane svIkRta kiyaa| kintu Apa bole ki 'aisA nikRSTa samaya hai ki jisameM nyAyase dhanArjana karanA kaThina ho gyaa| aise-aise kAnUna bana gaye haiM ki jinameM prajAkI svIkAratAkA aMza bhI nahIM hai| binA rizvata diye eka sthAna se sthAnAntara mAla le jAnA durlabha hai| aura kathA choDiyeM, sTezana para binA ghusa diye TikaTa milanA kaThina ho gayA hai| tanako vastra milanA durlabha hai| bahuta kahA~ taka kaheM ? yadi atithiko bhojana karAte haiM to usameM bhI corIkA doSa AtA hai| astu, hama yathAyogya isakA pAlana For Personal & Private Use Only

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yaha IsarI hai 343 kreNge|' Apane apane nirvAhake liye eka makAnakA kirAyA aura paiMsaTha sau rupayA nakada rakkhe haiN| Apa prAyaH sAlameM cha: mAsa mere samparkameM rahate haiN| ApakI prakRti bahuta hI udAra hai| sAtha hI ina donoM bhAiyoMne ATha varSakI avasthAse hI pratidina apane pitAjIke sAtha zrIbhagavatpUjana aura zAstrasvAdhyAya karanA prArambha kiyA thA, jisakA saMskAra barAbara banA calA A rahA hai| inhoMne sAta vyasana aura rAtribhojanakA bhI tyAga kara diyA hai tathA ye mUlaguNoMkA barAbara pAlana karate haiN| kahane kA tAtparya yaha hai ki ye sadAcArI gRhastha haiM aura nirantara dAnadharma karate rahate haiN| tyAgIvargameM paM. maujIlAlajI sAgara bahuta hI virakta aura subodha haiN| Apane tyAgI logoMke liye eka acchI koTharI banavA dI hai| eka koTharImeM saMgamarmarakA pharza bAbU govindalAlajI gayAvAloMne jar3avA diyA hai| paM. pannAlAlajI maiMnejara nirantara AzramakI dekha-bhAla karate haiN| gayAvAle seThI campAlAlajI bhI samaya-samayapara yahA~ Ate haiN| zrIkhetasIdAsajI giriDIhavAle bhI kabhI-kabhI lagAtAra eka mAsa paryanta rahakakara dharmasAdhanameM upayoga lagAte haiN| giriDIhavAle rAmacandra bAbU bhI yahA~para sakuTumba rahakara dharmasAdhana karate haiN| navAdAse bhI zrIlakSmInArAyaNa seThI yahA~ Akara dharmasAdhana karate the| sAsanIvAle seTha bhI yahA~ Akara mahInoM dharmasAdhana karate the| aura bhI bahutase bhAI yahA~ Akara dharzasAdhana karanemeM apanA saubhAgya samajhate haiN| yahA~para zrIyut vaijanAthajI sarAvagI rA~cIvAloMne eka bahuta hI sundara dharmAyatana banavAyA hai| usameM eka munIma barAbara rahatA hai| eka bAga bhI usameM lagAyA hai tathA prAcIna caityAlayako mandirarUpameM parivartita kara diyA hai| mandirameM saMgamarmarakA pharza jar3avA diyA hai| itanA hI nahIM, Apa prAyaH nirantara AyA karate haiN| pratyeka aSTamI aura caturdazIke upavAsake bAda tyAgiyoMkI pAraNA ApahIkI orase hotI hai| isake atirikta bhI Apa hIkI orase Azrama ke liye paryApta sahAyatA milatI hai| pArzvanAtha zikSAmandirake Apa sabhApati bhI haiN| yaha zikSAmandira pahale koDaramA thA; parantu zrImAn paM. kastUracandrajIne use IsarImeM parivartita kara diyA hai| paM. kastUracandrajI usakI unnatimeM For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 344 nirantara udyoga karate rahate haiN| paccIsa chAtra zikSA pAte haiN| kucha sarAka jAtike bhI bAlaka haiN| yadi acchI sahAyatA mile to sarAka jAtike eka sau chAtra adhyayana kara sakate haiM, parantu samAjakI dRSTi abhI isa ora nhiiN| zikSA mandirakA eka nijakA borDiMga aura vidyAlaya bhavana bhI hai| eka jalAzaya bhI hai| do adhyApaka nirantara adhyayana karAte haiN| udAsInAzramameM seTha tulArAma gajarAja vaccharAjajIne bhI eka sundara bhavanakA nirmANa karAyA hai| isameM dharmasAdhana karaneke liye koI bhI vyakti nivAsa kara sakatA hai| seTha logoMne svayaM dharmasAdhana karaneke abhiprAyase isakA nirmANa karAyA thA, parantu parigraha pizAcake AvegameM kucha nahIM kara ske| kRSNAbAIne bhI yahA~ eka zrAvikAzramakI nIva DAlI thI, parantu parasparake vicAra vinimayase ApakA citta khinna ho gyaa| isase Apane AzramakA vicAra sthAgita kara diyA aura yahA~se udAsa hokara mAravAr3a calI gii| vahA~se zrImahAvIrakSetrameM mumukSu mahilAzramakI sthApanA kara dI tathA apane pAsakI saba sampatti usImeM lagA dii| prArambhameM zrI paM. nanhelAlajI zAstrI usameM adhyApaka the| dasa pandraha bAIyA~ usameM dharmasAdhana karatI huI zikSA prApta karatI haiN| yahA~para varSAkAlameM prAyaH dharmasAdhana bar3e Anandase hotA hai| sAmane dikhanevAle hare-bhare girirAjakI U~cI coTiyoM para jaba zyAmala ghanaghaTA chA jAtI hai taba bar3A hI manorama mAlUma hotA hai| meraTha prAntase lAlA hukamacandrajI salAbAvAle, jo ki tattvavidyAmeM uttama jJAna rakhate haiM, prAyaH bhAdramAsameM A jAte haiN| lAlA trilokacandra khataulI, paM. zItalaprasAdajI zAhapura, lAlA maMgalasenajI mubArikapura tathA lAlA harizcandrajI sahAranapura bhI jaba kabhI A jAte haiN| Apa saba tattvavidyAke premI aura nirmala pariNAmoMke dhAraka haiM | Apa logoMke zubhAgamanase tattvacarcA meM pUrNa Ananda rahatA hai| kabhI-kabhI zrImAn cA~damallajI rA~cI va zrImAn bAbU kanhaiyAlAlajI bajAja gayAvAle bhI A jAte haiN| yahA~ para upayoga acchA lagatA hai| makAnameMse bAhara nikalate hI zrIpArzvanAthakI ToMkake darzana hone lagate haiM, jisase bhAvanAe~ nirantara nirmala rahatI haiN| svAdhyAyameM bhI acchA upayoga lagatA hai, parantu bar3e AdamiyoMko abhI ekAntavAsakA svAda nahIM aayaa| parigrahase virakti mahAn puNyazAlI jIvake hI ho sakatI hai| isa pizAcane saMsArako cakrameM lA rakkhA hai| parigrahake bhArase bar3e-bar3e mahApurUSa saMyamake lAbhase vaMcita raha jAte haiN| For Personal & Private Use Only

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dambhase baco 345 I yaha sthAna mokSa prAptike liye advitIya hai / Azramase bAhara girirAjakI ora jAiye, aTavI laga jAtI hai| pattharoMkI bar3I-bar3I caTTAneM haiN| unapara baiThakara manuSya dhyAnAdi kara sakate haiN| koI upadrava nahIM, manuSyoMkA saMcAra nahI, hiMsaka jantu girirAjameM avazya hI nivAsa karate hoMge para Ajataka kisIkA ghAta nahIM sunA gayA / yaha saba kucha hai, parantu aise nirmama munaSya nahIM Ate, jo Atmacintana kara kucha lAbha leveM / dambhase baco mukhase kathA karanA anya bAta hai aura kAryameM pariNata karanA anya bAta hai / hama anyakI bAta nahIM kahate, svayaM isa kArya ke karanemeM asamartha rhe| isase siddha hotA hai ki kalyANakA mArga nimittameM nahIM, upAdAnakAraNakI bhI AvazyakatA hai / kSetrako samyak prakAra uttama banAkara yadi kRSaka bIja vapana na kare to annakI utpatti nahIM ho sakatI, ghAsa-phUsa ho jAnA anya bAta hai| hama loga nimitakAraNoMkI AyojanAmeM saba puruSArtha lagA dete haiN| para upAdAnakAraNakI ora dRSTi nahIM dete| AvazyakatA isa bAtakI hai ki antastattvako nirmalatA ke jo bAdhaka kAraNa haiM unheM dUra kiyA jaave| vAstavika bAdhaka kAraNa kyA hai, isa ora dRSTi nahIM dete| hama loga nimittakAraNoMko hI bAdhaka mAnate haiM, isase unhIko dUra karanekI ceSTA karate haiN| maiM svayaMkI kathA kahatA hU~-'jaba zrI bAIjI jIvita thIM, taba maiM nirantara yahI mAnatA thA ki yadi bAIjI na hotIM to maiM bhI AtmakalyANake mArgameM nirvidhna laga jAtA / ' bAIjIkA kahanA thA ki 'beTA ! abhI tuma jainadharmakA marma nahIM smjhte|' mai eka dina jora dekara bolA-'bAIjI ! maiM to aba tyAgI honA cAhatA huuN| koI kisIkA nahIM, saba svArthake sage haiM, itane dina vyartha gaye, aba maiM jAtA huuN|' bAIjI bolIM- 'beTA maiM nahIM rokatI, bar3I prasannatA hai ki tuma AtmakalyANake mArga meM jAnekA prayatna karate ho, parantu kheda isa bAtakA hai ki tuma bAta bahuta karate ho, para karanemeM kAyara ho / manuSya vaha hai jo kArya karanekI bAta na nikAle aura anya manuSya usake kArya ko dekhakara anumAna kareM ki inake isa kAryake karanekA abhiprAya thaa| hamane tumhArA tIsa varSa poSaNa kiyA aura kabhI isa bAtakI icchA nahIM rakkhI ki vRddhAvasthAmeM tuma hamArI vaiyAvRtya karoge / aba hamArI avasthA zithila ho gaI, ataH ucita to yaha thA ki pratidina hamako zAstrapravacana sunAte, so vaha to dUra rahA aura anadhikAra ceSTAkI bAta karate ho ki hama tyAgI hote haiM / tyAgI jo hotA hai vaha kisIse rAgadveSa nahI karatA, zAntacittase AtmakalyANake For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 346 mArgameM laga jAtA hai| tuma hamase pRthak hokara jahA~ jAoMge vahA~ hI apanA kAla galpavAdameM lgaaoge| yadi vAstavameM tyAgadharmakA svAda lenA cAhate ho to sarvaprathama apane abhiprAyako nirmala banAnekA prayatna kro| pazcAt rAgAdi zatruoMko jiito| jaise hamase sneha chor3ate ho vaise anyase na krnaa| hamane tumhArA kauna-sA akalyANa kiyA hai ki jisase Dara kara tuma rAgabhAvake gaye binA hI virakta hote ho| isake mAne tyAga nhiiN| isakA artha to yaha hai ki aba bAIjIkI vRddhAvasthA ho gaI, ataH inakI vaiyAvRtya karanI pdd'egii| vaha na karanA par3e, isaliye calo tyAgI bana jaao| isa prakArakA chala kalyANamArgakA sAdhaka nhiiN| isakA nAma tyAga nahIM, yaha to dveSa hai| athavA tumhArI jo icchA, so karo, parantu svAMga na bnaanaa| jainadharmameM svAMgakI pratiSThA nahIM pariNAmoMkI nirmalatAkI pratiSThA hai| ataH pahale pariNAmoMko pavitra banAo, saccA tyAga isIkA nAma hai| jaba antaraMgase rAga kI kRzatA hotI hai taba bAhya vastu svayameva chUTa jAtI hai| saba padArtha bhinna-bhinna hai, kevala hama apane rAgase unameM iSTa tathA dveSase aniSTakI kalpanA kara lete haiM / yaha hama bhI jAnate haiN| parantu abhI hamArA rAga nahIM gayA, isase tumhAre Upara karuNA AtI hai ki isakA tyAga dambhameM paraNita na ho jaave| yadi beTA ! tumameM rAga na hotA to tumhAre iSTa va aniSTameM harSa-viSAda na hotA / astu, hamArI to yaha sammati hai ki jisa tyAgase zAnti-lAbha na ho vaha tyAga nahIM, dambha hai| tumhArI icchA jo ho, so karo, hogA vahI jo honA hai| hamArA kartavya thA, so use pUrNa kiyaa|' ___maiM sunakara cupa raha gayA aura jo vicAra the unheM parivartita kara diyaa| vAstavameM tyAga to kaSAyake abhAvameM hotA hai, so to thA nhiiN| isa prakAra aneka bAra upadeza dekara unhoMne mujhe dambhavRtti se bcaayaa| isase ucita to yaha hai ki hama logoM ko antaraMga tyAga karanA caahie| laukika pratiSThAke lie jo tyAga karate haiM ve rAkhake liye candana jalAte haiN| vAstavameM yaha manuSya mohake udayameM nAnA kalpanAe~ karatA hai, cAhe siddhi ekakI bhI na ho| maleriyA IsarImeM nirantara tyAgIgaNoMkA samudAya rahatA hai, bhojanAdikA prabandha uttama hai| Azramase thor3I dUrI para grAMTaroDa hai, jahA~ bhramaNa karanekA acchA subhItA hai| yahA~ para nirantara tyAgiyoM, kSullakoM aura kabhI-kabhI munimahArAjoMkA bhI zubhAgamana hotA rahatA hai| yahA~se giriDIha pAsa hai| bIcameM varAkaTa nadI For Personal & Private Use Only

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maleriyA 347 milatI hai| usake taTapara zvetAmbara sampradAyakA eka sundara mandira banA huA hai| eka dharmazAlA bhI hai| ekAnta sthAna hai| yadi koI dharmadhyAnake liye rahanA cAhe to saba prakArakI suvidhAe~ haiN| nadIke dUsare taTapara zrIrAmacandra bAbUkA baMgalA banA huA hai| eka bAra hama, campAlAla seThI, bAbU govindalAlajI tathA bAbA jagannAtha prasAdajI Adi eka dina yahA~ rahe the| vahIM para eka caityAlaya bhI hai| Anandase dharmadhyAnameM kAla gayA, parantu karmakA vipAka prabala hai, bahuta dina nahIM raha ske| yahA~se giriDIha gye| dharmazAlAmeM nivAsa kiyaa| maiM bAbU rAdhA kRSNake baMgalAmeM ThaharA / yahA~ para dharmazAlAmeM jo jinAlaya hai vaha bahuta hI manojJa hai| eka caityAlaya zrImAn brahmacArI khetasIdAsakA hai| Upara caityAlaya aura nIce sarasvatIbhavana hai| bAbU rAmacandrajIkA dharmaprema sarAhanIya hai| Apake yahA~ bhAojanAdikI vyavasthA zuddha hai| koI bhI atithi Anandase kaI dina raha sakatA hai| khetasIdAsajI brahmacArI bahuta hI dhArmika vyakti haiN| Apa eka bAra bhojana karate haiM aura usI samaya pAnI pIte haiM tathA pratidina saikar3oM kaMgAloMko dAna dete haiN| isI taraha bAbU kAlUrAmajI bhI yogya vyakti haiN| Apake yahA~ bhI pratidina aneka garIboMko pakI khicar3I AdikA bhojana milatA hai| bAbU rAmacandrajIke yahA~ bhI pratidina garIboMko bhojana diyA jAtA hai....... giriDIhake zrAvakoMmeM yaha vizeSatA dekhI gii| ___ hama cAra mAha yahA~ rahe / bar3e nirmala pariNAma rahe / banArasa vidyAlayake lie yahA~se pA~ca hajAra rupayAkA dAna milA / yadi koI acchA prayAsa kare to anAyAsa yahA~se bahuta kucha sahAyatA mila sakatI hai| yahA~se phira IsarI A gayA aura yahA~ Anandase kAla jAne lgaa| yahA~se hajArIbAgaroDa gyaa| zrIseThI bhoMrIlAlajI ke yahA~ tthhraa| yahA~para kaI ghara zrAvakoMke haiM,do mandira haiM, pUjA-prakSAla samaya para hotA hai, svAdhyAya bhI hotA hai, zAstra-pravacanameM acchI manuSya-saMkhyA ho jAtI hai| yahA~se phira IsarI aagyaa| eka bAra yahA~para zrImAn campAlAlajI seThI aaye| ye bahuta hI teja prakRti AdamI the, gommaTasAra jIvakANDa aura svAmIkArtikeyAnuprekSA kaNThastha thI, nirantara svAdhyAyameM kAla lagAte the, vrata-niyama bhI pAlate the, Apa svatantra rahate the| eka bAra Apa tyAgI mohanalAlajIke pAsa cale gye| unheM Ate dekhakara Azramake adhiSThAtA zrI khemacandrajI bahuta bigdd'e| zrIcampAlAlajI For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 348 seThI cupa rahe, parantu jaba sAyaMkAla hama bhramaNake liye jA rahe the taba zrI khemacandrajI adhiSThAtA hamAre sAtha the aura zrIcampAlAlajI bhI bhramaNa ke liye gaye the| paraspara vArtA ho rahI thii| itanemeM campAlAlajI bole-'kyoM adhiSThAtAjI ! Apane bhagatajIke liye merI yaha zikAyata likhI hai ki campAlAla se hI AzramameM AtA hai tathA isake Anese Azramake udAsInoMmeM udaNDatAkA saMcAra honekI AzaMkA haiM ? kyA maiM mArgase itanA cyuta hU~ ki mere sahavAsase AzramavAsI amArgameM laga jAveMge? khedakI bAta hai Apane viveka se kAma nahIM liyaa| maiM bahuta dinase ApakI harakatako dekhatA hU~, vAstavameM ApameM manuSyatA nhiiN|' zrI khemacandrajI bole-'Apako vacana saMbhAla kara bolanA caahie| yadi Apake sadRza maiM vyavahAra karU~ to Apa Aga-babUlA ho jaaveNge| Apa vidvAn haiM, gommaTasArake jJAtA haiM, pariNAmoMkI nirmalatAkA bhI kucha khyAla rakhanA caahie|' phira kyA thA seThIjIkA pArA sau DigarI ho gyaa| donomeM paraspara bahuta kucha visaMvAda ho gyaa| yadi maiM na hotA to saMbhava thA parasparameM atyanta kalahAgni bar3ha jaatii| vacanoMmeM lar3AI rahI, kAya taka nahIM phuNcii| isa ghaTanAse merA citta bahuta khinna huaa| yahA~ taka ki dUsare dinase maleriyA A gayA aura itanI tejIke sAtha AyA ki 105 DigrI taka tApamAna ho jaave| vaha maleriyA pA~ca varSa taka nahIM gayA / asAtodayameM aise hI nimitta milate haiN| zrI khemacandrajIke vyavahArase maiM bhI asaMtuSTa thaa| yahA~ para zrImAn bAbA bhAgIrathajI the, jo hamAre cira-paricita the| unakI mere Upara pUrNa anukampA thii| ve nirantara upadeza dete the ki bhAI jo arjana kiyA hai use bhoganA hI pdd'egaa| jvarake vegakI prabalatAse khAnA-pInA saba chUTa gyaa| jaba jvarakA vega AtA thA taba kucha bhI smaraNa nahIM rahatA thaa| zrIkRSNAbAIne usa samaya bahuta sahAyatA kI tathA zrI bAbU dhanyakumArajIne miTTIkA prayoga kiyaa| ina sabakI nirantara yahI bhAvanA rahatI thI ki yaha zIghra nIroga ho jAveM, parantu asAtAke tIvrodayameM kucha nahIM ho skaa| sAgara se siMghaIjI va unakI gRhiNI aagii| gayAse zrI kanhaiyAlAlajI A phuNce| sAthameM kavirAja bhI laaye| kavirAja bahuta hI yogya the| unhoMne aneka upacAra kiye| parantu maiMne auSadhikA tyAga kara diyA thA, ataH jo auSadhi mere rogake nivAraNake liye dI jAtI thI, maiM use lekara pazcAt pheMka For Personal & Private Use Only

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maleriyA 349 detA thA / vaidyase maiMne kahA ki abhI mere tIvra asAtodaya hai, ataH ApakI auSadhi niSphala hogI / vaidyarAja bahuta hI Astika the| unhoMne kahA- 'acchA' aura do dina rahakara cale gaye / unhIM dinoM dakSiNa dezake eka mantrazAstrI bhI vahIM the| unhone kahA - 'cintA mata kro| hama eka mantra likhakara bA~dhe dete haiM, tumhArA jvara calA jaavegaa|' maiMne kahA- 'Apake mantrameM zakti hai, isameM mujhe zaMkA nahIM / parantu mere tIvra pApodaya hai, ataH merA roga abhI kucha dina rahegA, Apa vyartha hI apayaza na lIjiye / ' vaha bole-'Apako jaina maMtrakI zraddhA nahIM / maiMne kahA- 'bhagavan ! aise vAkya zrImukhase na nikaaliye| mujhe zraddhA hai, parantu abhI tIvra udayameM duHkha bhoganA hI pdd'egaa| mujhe to itanI zraddhA hai ki zAyada Apako bhI utanI na hogii| eka bAra mujhe bar3I zirovedanA huI / maiMne zrI pArzvaprabhukA smaraNakara use zAnta kara liyA / eka dinakI bAta hai - yahIM para eka kalakattAkI bAI thI / use hisTriyA roga thA; acAnaka vaha gira pdd'ii| jaba hozameM AI taba maiMne kahA ki tuma pArzvanAtha svAmIkI ToMkake sAmanese darzana karo aura prArthanA karo ki he prabho ! aba hameM yaha roga bAdhA na kre| itanI hI hamArI prArthanA hai| usane hamAre kahe anusAra AcaraNa kiyA aura usI dinase usakI mUrcchA banda ho gayI / eka varSa bAda milI / hamane pUchA- aba tumheM ArAma hai ? vaha bolI ki usa dinase sAnanda rahatI huuN| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki mujhe zraddhA to hai parantu tIvra udayakA phala bhoganA hI par3egA / isIse na to maiM auSadhi khAnA cAhatA hU~ aura na maMtrAdi vidhikA prayoga karanA cAhatA huuN|' maMtrazAstrI bahuta nArAja hue, tathA jaba mujhe ekasau pA~ca DigrI jvara ho gayA taba eka maMtrako kapar3e meM lapeTakara bhujase bA~dha diyaa| mujhe kucha bhI patA nahIM claa| cAra ghaNTA jvarameM behoza rahatA thA / zrIkRSNAbAI aura patAsIbAI mAtAkI taraha gIlI paTTI zirapara rakhatI thiiN| isa prakAra cAra ghaNTAkI vedanA sahatA huA kAlakSepa karane lgaa| loga pATha par3hate the, para mujhe patA nahIM ki kyA ho rahA hai ? vaizAkhakA mAsa thA, sUraja bhI tapatA thA, pAnIkI tRSA atyanta rahatI thI, parantu itanI becainI rahanepara bhI antaraMga meM parama pAvana jainadharmakI zraddhA acala rahatI thI / zrI kanhaiyAlAlajI gayAvAloMne sabhI daravAjoMmeM khasakI TaTTiyA~ lagavA dI thIM, dinabhara unapara pAnIkA chir3akAva hotA thA, rAtriko barAbara do AdamI For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 350 paMkhA karate the, para zAnti nahIM milatI thii| zrIbAbAjI mahArAja kahate the ki 'yaha saba karmavipAka hai dhairya dhAraNa karo, vyagratAkA aMza bhI manameM na lAo, ise to RNakI taraha adA karo, manuSya-janmameM hI saMyamakI yogyatA hotI hai usakA ghAta mata karo, saMyama karmakI nirjarAmeM kAraNa hai, yaha jo tumhArA upacAra hai, isa padake yogya nahIM, asaMyamI manuSyoMke yogya hai|' maine kahA-'mahArAja ! maiM kyA karU~ ? mere vazakI bAta jo thI so maiMne kii| maiM auSadha taka nahIM khAtA aura na kisIse yaha kahatA hU~ ki ye upacAra kiye jaaveN| kintu upacAra hone para bAhya vedanAmeM kucha zamana hotA hai, ataH inameM merI aruci bhI nhiiN| maiM ApakI bAta mAnatA huuN| Akhira, Apa bhI to cAhate haiM ki isakA roga zIghra miTa jAve, yaha kyA moha nahIM hai ? dinameM kaI bAra merI navaja dekhate haiM tathA kucha viSAda bhI karate haiN|' bAbAjI ne kahA ki 'isakA yaha artha nahIM ki hameM viSAda ho| parantu hamArA kartavya hai ki tumheM zAnti pahu~cAveM, ataH hamArA tIna bAra AnA yogya hai, anyathA tumheM yaha AkulatA ho jAvegI ki jaba bAbAjI hI hamArI sudha nahIM lete taba anya kauna legA? isI dRSTise hama tumhArI vaiyAvRtya karate haiN| sAtha hI yaha caraNAnuyogakA mArga bhI hai ki mahApuruSoMkI vaiyAvRtya karanA caahiye| vaiyAvRtya to antaraMgatapa hai, karma nirjarAkA, khAsakAraNa hai| isakA yaha artha mata lo ki merA teremeM moha hai| parantu vaha bhI nhiiN| abhI to hama paJcamaguNasthAnavartI hI haiM, kyA sAdharmI jIvase moha nahIM karanA cAhiye ? vizeSa kyA kaheM ? tuma zAntabhAvase sahana karo; roga zamana ho jAvegA, Atura mata hoo|' maine kahA-mahArAja ! mujhe maleriyA bahuta satAtA hai, ataH merA vicAra hai ki IsarI chor3akara hajArIbAga calA jaauuN|' unhoMne kahA-acchA jAoM, antameM yahIM AnA hogaa|' jAnekI zakti na thI, ataH DolI kara hajArIbAga calA gyaa| vahA~ para ekabAga meM sattara rupayA bhAr3A dekara Thahara gyaa| grAmavAloMne acchI vaiyAvRtya kii| yahA~ pAnI amRtopama thaa| Der3ha mAsa rahA, phira IsarI A gyaa| zrI bAbA bhAgIrathajIkA samAdhimaraNa varSoM ke bAda bAbAjIkA zarIra rugNa ho gyaa| phira bhI Apa apane dharma-kAryameM kabhI zithila nahIM hue| auSadhi sevana nahIM kiyaa| kRSNAbAIne For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #384
zrI bAbA bhAgIrathajIkA samAdhimaraNa 351 acchI vaiyAvRtya kii| na jAne kyoM, bAbAjI hamase vaiyAvRtya nahIM karAte the| jisa dina ApakA dehAvasAna hone lagA usa dina dasa baje taka zAstrasvAdhyAya sunaa| anantara hama logoMko AjJA dI ki bhojana kro| hamane bhojana karake sAmAyika kii| pazcAt kRSNAbAIne bulAyA ki zIghra aao| hama gaye, to kyA dekhate haiM ki bAbAjI bhUmipara eka la~goTI lagAye par3e hue haiN| ApakI mudrA dekhanese ailakakA smaraNa hotA thaa| hama loga bAbAjIke karNoM meM NamokAra mantra kahate rhe| pA~ca minaTa bAda A~khase eka azrubindu nikalA aura Apa sadAke liye cale gye| mudrA bilakula zAnta thii| merA hRdaya gadgada ho gyaa| zIghra hI bAbAjIko zmazAna le gaye aura eka ghaNTAke bAda AzramameM aagye| usa dina rAtrimeM bAbAjIkI hI kathA hotI rhii| aisA nirbhIka tyAgI isa kAlameM durlabha hai| jabase Apa brahmacArI hue paisAkA sparza nahIM kiyaa| Ajanma namaka aura mIThAkA tyAga thaa| do laMgoTa aura do caddara mAtra parigraha rakhate the| eka bAra bhojana aura pAnI lete the| pratidina svAmikArtikeyAnuprekSA aura samayasArake kalazoMkA pATha karate the| svayambhUstotrakA bhI nirantara pATha karate the| ApakA galA bahuta hI madhura thaa| jaba Apa bhajana kahate the taba jisa viSayakA bhajana hotA usa viSayakI mUrti sAmane A jAtI thii| ApakA zAstra-pravacana bahuta hI prabhAvaka hotA thaa| Apa hI ke utsAha aura sahAyatAse syAdvAda vidyAlayakI sthApanA huI thii| Apane sahasroM rupaye vidyAlayako bhijvaaye| bhojanakI kathA Apa kabhI nahIM karate the| ApakI prakRti atyanta dayAlu rUpa thii| ___Apa mujhe nirantara upadeza dete the ki itanA ADambara mata kr| eka bArakI bAta hai| maiMne kahA-'bAbAjI, Apake sadRza hama bhI do caddara aura laMgoTa rakha sakate haiM, isameM kauna-sI prazaMsAkI bAta hai ?' bAbAjI mahArAja bole-'rakha kyoM nahIM lete ?' maiM bolA-'rakhanA to kaThina nahIM hai, parantu jaba bAjArameMse nikala~gA taba loga kyA kaheMge ? isase lajjA AtI hai| bAbAjIne ha~sakara kahA-'basa, isa balapara tyAgI bananA cAhate ho| are ! tyAga karanA sAmAnya manuSyoMkA kArya nahIM hai| eka dina ghor3eko nAla ba~dha rahe the| unheM dekhakara meMDhakI bolI- hamako bhI nAla bA~dha do| vicAro, yadi meMDhakIko nAla bA~dha diye jAveM to kyA vaha cala phira sakegI ? ataH abhI tuma isake pAtra nhiiN| hA~, yaha maiM avazya kahU~gA ki eka dina tU bhI tyAgI bana jAyegA, tU sIdhA hai, acchA hai| aba isI rUpa rhnaa| tU itanA sarala hai ki tujhe pA~ca varSakA bAlaka bhI For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #385
352 merI jIvanagAthA I bAjArameM beMca sakatA hai / terA bhAgya acchA thA ki tujhe bAIjI mila giiN| unhoMne tereko putravat pAlA, unakI vaiyAvRtya karanA / ' vaha eka bAtakA nirantara upadeza dete the ki 'jo nahIM lInA kAUkA to dInA koTi hajAra / ' aura bhI bahutase upadeza unake the| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki jo kucha thor3A bahuta mere pAsa hai vaha unhIke samAgamakA phala hai...... isa prakAra bAbAjIke guNa gA hue rAtri pUrNa kii| IsarIse gayA phira pAvApura sAgaravAloMkA tIvra Agraha thA ki sAgara Ao, isaliye sAgarake liye prasthAna kara diyA / 12 mIla bagodarA taka hI pahu~ca pAye ki bar3e vegase jvara A gyaa| chaH ghaNTA bAda jvarakA vega kama huA / bagodarAke baMgalA meM rAtri vyatIta kI / vahA~se calakara hajArIbAgaroDa A gaye / yahA~ para zrI bhauMrIlAlajIke ghara do dina tthhre| Apane acchI taraha upacAra kiyA / svAsthya acchA ho gayA / vahIM para zrI rAmacandra seThI giriDIhavAloMkA kuTumba A gayA / bahuta hI AgrahapUrvaka Apane kahA ki 'kyoM isa pavitra sthAnako chor3ate ho ?' parantu maiMne eka na sunI, cala diyaa| mArga meM aneka uttama dRzya dekhaneke liye mile / ATha dina bAda gayA pahu~ca gyaa| yahA~ para bAbU kanhaiyAlAlajI tathA campAlAlajI seThI Adine gayA rokanekA bahuta Agraha kiyaa| maiMne kahA ki eka bAra sAgara jAnekA dRr3ha nizcaya hai / ' logoMne kahA- 'ApakI icchaa|' maiMne kahA- 'tIna dina bAda calA jAU~gA / ' tIna dinake bAda ekadama pairake aMgUThAmeM darda ho gayA / itanA darda huA ki calane meM asamartha ho gayA, ataH lAcAra hokara maiM svayaM raha gayA / sAgarase jo leneke liye Aye the ve agatyA lauTakara sAgara cale gaye / pairake a~gUThekA ilAja hone lgaa| sattara rupayAmeM eka botala tela banavAyA tathA eka vaidyarAjane bahuta hI premake sAtha auSadhi kI / eka mAsake upacArase a~gUThAmeM ArAma ho gayA / anantara gayA rahanekA hI vicAra ho gayA varSAkAla gayAmeM sAnanda bItA / saba logoMkI ruci dharmameM atyanta nirmala ho gii| maiM to vizeSa tyAgI aura paNDita nahIM, parantu merA AtmavizvAsa hai ki jo munaSya svayaM pavitra hai usake dvArA jagatkA hita ho sakatA hai| yahA~se maiMne kArtika badI dojako logoMse sammati lekara zrI vIraprabhukI nirvANabhUmike liye prasthAna kiyaa| dasa mIla taka janatA gii| vahIM para zrImAn For Personal & Private Use Only

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IsarIse gayA phira pAvApura 353 jAnakIdAsa kanhaiyAlAlajIkI ora se prItibhoja huaa| vahA~ se calakara kaI dina bAda navAdA pahu~ca gye| yahA~ para zrIlakSmInArAyaNajI sAhaba bahuta dharmAtmA sajjana haiN| unake Agrahase do dina rhaa| Apake do suputra haiN| bahuta hI suyogya haiN| eka putra suguNacandra prAntIya khaNDelavAla sabhAke mantrI haiN| Apake hRdayameM jAtisudhArakI prabala bhAvanA hai| Apa prAcIna vicAroMke nahIM, navIna sudhAra cAhate haiN| sAthameM dhArmika ruci bhI ApakI uttama hai| yahA~se zrIguNAvAjI gye| yahA~para eka mandira bahuta hI sundara hai| cAroM tarapha tAr3ake vRkSoMkA vana hai| bIcameM bahuta sundara kUpa hai| prAtaH kAla jaba paMktibaddha tAr3avRkSoMke patroMse chanakara bAla-dinakarakI sunahalI kiraNeM mandirakI sudhAdhavalita zikharapara par3atI haiM, taba bar3A suhAvanA mAlUma hotA hai| mandirameM eka zubhrakAya vizAla mUrti hai| mandirase thor3I dUrapara eka sarovara hai| usameM eka jaina mandira hai| mandirameM zrIgautamasvAmIkA pratibimba hai| yahA~ thaka gayA, ataH yaha bhAva huA ki yahIM nirvANa-lADUkA utsava manAnA yogya hai| sAyaMkAla sar3akapara bhramaNa karaneke liye gyaa| itaneMmeM do bhikhamaMge mA~ganeke lie aaye| maiM andara jAkara lADU lAyA aura donoMko de diye| maiMne unase pUchA 'kahA~ jAte ho ? unhone kahA-'zrImahAvIra svAmIke nirvANotsavake liye pAvApura jAte haiN| maiMne kahA-'tumhAre paira to kuSTase galita haiM, kaise pahu~coge ?' unhoMne kahA-zrIvIra prabhukI kRpAse pahu~ca jaaveNge| unakI mahimA aciMtya hai| unhIM ke pratApase hameM vahA~ eka varSakA bhojana mila jAtA hai| unhIM ke pratApase hamArA kyA, prAnta bharake logoMkA kalyANa hotA hai| mahAvIrasvAmIkA acintya aura anupama pratApa hai| ahiMsAkA pracAra Apake hI prabhAvakA phala hai| yadi isa yugake AdimeM zrIvIra prabhukA avatAra na hotA to sahasroM pazuoM ke balidAnakI prathA na ruktii| saMsAra mahAbhayAnaka hai| inameM nAnA matoMkI sRSTi huI, jinase paraspara meM aneka prakArakI vicAra-vibhinnatA ho gii| dharmakA yathArtha svarUpa kahanevAlA to vItarAga sarvajJa hI hai| vItarAgatA aura sarvajJatA koI alaukika vastu nhiiN| mohakA tathA jJAnAvaraNa, darzanAvaraNa aura antarAyakA abhAva hote hI AtmA meM vItarAgatA aura sarvajJatA donoM hI prakaTa ho jAte haiM, ataH aisI AtmAke dvArA jo kucha kahA jAtA hai vahI dharma haiN|' bhikhamaMgoMke mu~hase itanI jJAnapUrNa bAta sunakara mujhe Azcarya huaa| maiMne For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #387
merI jIvanagAthA 354 kahA- 'bhAI ! tumheM itanA bodha kahA~se AyA ?' ve bole-'Apa jaina hokara itanA Azcarya kyoM karate ho ? samajho to sahI, jo ApakI AtmA hai vahI to merI hai / kevala hamAre aura Apake zarIrameM antara hai / merA zarIra kuSTa rogase AkrAnta hai / ApakA zarIra mere zarIrakI apekSA nirmala hai| vaise isa viSaya meM vizeSa rItise mImAMsA kI jAve jo jaisA ApakA zarIra hAr3a mAMsAdikA piNDa hai vaisA hI merA bhI hai / etAvatA hama bure aura Apa acche haiM, yaha koI nahIM kaha sktaa| hama bhikhamaMge hai aura Apa denevAle haiM, isase Apa mahAn aura hama jaghanya haiM, yaha bhI koI avinAbhAvI niyama nahIM, kyoMki hamane apanI kaSAyakA zamana kiyaa| Apa zrIpAvApurajI jAkara mahAvIra svAmIkA pUjana - vidhAna kara utsava kareMge aura hama bhikhamaMge unakA nAmasmaraNa karate hue utsava manAveMge / etAvatA Apa utkRSTa aura hama jaghanya rahe, yaha bhI koI niyama nahIM / utsava dvArA ApakI yahI to bhAvanA hai ki hama saMsAra bandhanase chUTeM / nAmasmaraNase hamArI bhI yahI mano'bhilASA hai ki he prabho isa varSa bhojanake saMkaTase bceN| Akhira duHkhakI mUla jananI AkAMkSA jisa prakAra mere bhItara hai usI prakAra Apake bhItara bhI hai| vaha nirapekSatA hai ki jo vAstavameM AtmAko bandhanase chur3AnevAlI hai, na Apake hai aura na hamAre / vacanakI kuzalatAse cAhe Apa bhale hI manuSyoM meM nirapekSa bananekA prayatna kareM, parantu bhItarase jaise ho, Apa svayaM jAnate ho| Apa loga pratiSThAke lolupI ho, bhalA yathArtha padArtha kahA~ taka kahoge ? isa lokaiSaNAne jaganmAtrako vyAmohake jAlameM pha~sA diyA / . itanA kaha kara vaha phira bolA- 'yadi aura koI prazna zeSa raha gayA ho to pUchiye, maiM yathAzakti uttara dU~gA / ' maine phira prazna kiyA- 'bhAI ! ApakI yaha avasthA kyoM ho gaI ? vaha bolA-'merI yaha avasthA mere hI durAcArakA pariNAma hai| maiM eka uttama kulakA bAlaka thA / merA vivAha bar3e ThATa-bATase huA thA / strI bahuta sundara aura suzIla thI, parantu merI prakRti durAcAramayI ho gaI / phala yaha huA ki merI dharmapatnI apaghAta karake mara gaI / kucha hI dinoMmeM mere mAtA-pitAkA svargavAsa ho gayA aura jo sampatti pAsameM thI vaha vezyAvyasanameM samApta ho gii| garmI AdikA roga huaa| antameM yaha dazA huI jo Apake samakSa haiM, parantu kSetrapara jAnese aba merI zraddhA jainadharmake pravartaka antima tIrthaMkarameM ho gii| unhIMke smaraNase maiM sAnanda jIvana vyatIta karatA hU~ / ataH Apa Anandase yAtrAko For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #388
vIra-nirvANotsava 355 jAiye aura nirapekSa prabhukA nirvANotsava kariye, jisase hama logoMkI apekSA kucha vizeSatA ho| yadyapi hama bhI nirapekSa hI prabhukA smaraNa karate haiM to bhI hamArI bAta kauna mAnanevAlA hai| mata mAnoM, phala to pariNAmoMkI jAtikA hogaa| kuSTAdi honese hamAre pariNAma nirmala na hoM aura Apa logoMke haiM, yaha koI rAjAjJA nahIM ! aba maiM Apako AzIrvAda detA hU~ ki vIraprabhu ApakA kalyANa kreN|' itanA kaha kara una donoMne zrIpAvApurakA mArga liyaa| vIra-nirvANotsava __una logoMke 'vIraprabhukI kRpAse pahu~ca jAveMge' vacana kAnoMmeM gUMjate rhe| jaba ki apAMga loga bhI vIraprabhuke nirvANotsavameM sammilita honeke liye utsukatAke sAtha jA rahe haiM taba maiM to apaMga nahIM huuN| rahI thakAvaTakI bAta, so vIra prabhu kRpAse vaha dUra ho jAyegI...... ityAdi vicAroMse merA utsAha punaH jAgRta ho gayA aura maiMne nizcaya kara liyA ki pAvApura avazya phuNcuuNgaa| rAtri guNAvA hI meM bitAI / prAtaHkAla hote hI zrIvIraprabhukA smaraNa kara cala diyA aura nau baje zrIpAvApura pahu~ca gayA / bhojanAdi kara dharmazAlAmeM so gyaa| dopaharake do baje bAda Agata mahAzayoMke samakSa zrI vIraprabhukA guNagAna karane lgaa| yaha vahI bhUmi hai jahA~ para vIraprabhukA nirvANotsava indrAdi devoMke dvArA kiyA gayA thaa| hama saba loga bhI isI uddezyase Aye haiM ki una mahAprabhukA nirvANotsava manAveM / yadyapi zrIvIraprabhu mokSa padhAra cuke haiN| saMsArase sambandha viccheda hue unhe ar3hAI hajAra varSake lagabhaga ho cukA, phira bhI isa bhUmi para Anese unake ananta guNoMkA smaraNa ho AtA hai| jisase pariNAmoMkI nirmalatAkA prayatna anAyAsa sampanna ho jAtA hai| paramArthase vIraprabhukA yahI upadeza thA ki yadi saMsArake duHkhoMse mukta honekI abhilASA hai to jisa prakAra maine parigraha se mamatA tyAgI, brahmacarya vratako hI apanA sarvasva samajhA, rAjyAdi bAhya sAmagrIkI tilAJjali dI, mAtA-pitA Adi kuTumbase sneha tyAga daigambarI dIkSAkA avalambana liyaa| bAraha varSa taka anavarata dvAdaza prakArakA tapa tapA, daza dharma dhAraNa kiye, dvAviMzati pariSahoM para vijaya prApta kI, kSapakazreNIkA ArohaNa kara mohakA nAza kiyA, aura antarmuhUrta paryanta kSINakaSAya guNasthAnameM rahakara isIke dvicarama samayameM do aura carama samayameM caudaha prakRtiyoMkA nAza kiyA evaM kevalajJAna prApta kiyA, isI prakAra sabako karanA caahiye| yadi maiM kevala siddhaparameSThIkA hI smaraNa karatA rahatA to yaha For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 356 avasthA na hotI, vaha smaraNa to pramattaguNasthAnakI hI carcA thii| maiMne pariNAmoMkI uttarottara nirmalatAse hI arhanta pada pAyA hai, ataH jinheM isa pada kI icchA ho ve bhI isI upAyakA avalambana kreN| yadi daigambarI dIkSAkI yogyatA na ho to dezavirata hI aMgIkAra karo tathA dezaviratakI yogyatA na ho to zraddhA to rkkho| jisa kisI bhI taraha bane, isa parigraha-pApase avazya hI AtmAko surakSita rkkho| parigraha sabase mahAn pApa hai| mokSamArgameM sabase adhika mukhyatA dRr3ha zraddhAkI hai| isake hone para hI dezavrata tathA mahAvrata ho sakate haiN| isake binA unakA kucha bhI mahattva nahIM hotaa| pU~jIke binA vyApAra nahIM hotA, dalAlI bhale hI karo | ataH Aja hama sabako AtmAkI satya zraddhA karanA caahiye| sunakara kaI mahAzayoMne kahA ki 'hamako vIraprabhuke paramparA upadezameM vAstavika zraddhA hai, parantu zaktikI vikalatAse vratAdi dhAraNa nahIM kara skte| hA~, yaha niyama karate haiM ki anyAyAdi kAryoMse bceNge|' eka AdamI bolA ki 'aba aisA samaya A gayA hai ki nyAyase bhojana milanA bhI kaThina ho gayA hai| jaise, maiM apanI kahAnI sunAtA hU~-mere abhakSyakA tyAga hai| bAjArameM anAja milatA nhiiN| kaMTrolakI dUkAnase milatA hai so vahA~ yadvA tadvA cAvala aura gehU~ milate haiM jo ki caraNAnuyoga zAstrake anukUla nhiiN| gehU~ bIMdhA aura cAvala jIvarAzise bhare rahate haiN| yadi unheM khAtA hU~ to abhakSya bhojana karanA par3atA hai aura nahIM khAtA hU~ to utanI zakti nahIM ki jisase nirAhAra raha skuuN| antameM lAcAra hokara blaika mArkeTase bahu kImatameM anAja lAkara bhojana karanA par3atA hai| jo ki rAjAjJAke viruddha hai.....aisI avasthAmeM kyA kiyA jAve ? antameM yahI saMtoSa karanA par3atA hai ki yaha paJcam kAla hai| isameM jaba taka yaha videzI loga rAjA raheMge taba taka prajAke dhanako cUseMge aura rAjyake jo anya kAryakartAgaNa hoMge ve bhI kuTila hRdayavAle hoNge| prajAkI nahIM suneNge| kevala svodarapoSaNa karanA hI unakA lakSya rhegaa| prajA cAhe jahannumameM jAve / athavA inheM kyoM doSa diyA jAve ? sabase mahAn aparAdha to rAjAkA hI hai, kyoki prajA hamezA rAjAkA anukaraNa karatI hai| kisI nItikArane akSarazaH satya kahA haiM 'rAjJi dharmiNi dharmiSThAH pApe pApAH same smaaH| rAjAnamanuvartante yathA rAjA tathA prjaa||' arthAt rAjA yadi dharmAtmA hai jo prajA bhI dharmAtmA hotI hai , rAjA pApI hotA hai to prajA bhI pApI hotI hai aura rAjA sama hotA hai to prajA bhI sama For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #390
vIra-nirvANotsava 357 rahatI hai| ___ yaha kalikAla hai| isameM rAjA viSayI aura avivekI ho gye| rAjA loga apanI viSayAbhilASA kI pUrtike liye prajAkA kaSTa nahIM dekhate aura na avivekake kAraNa ve acche-burekI pahicAna hI rakhate haiN| khala manuSya apanI cApalUsI dvArA rAjaballabha bana jAte haiN| para nyAyanItise calanevAle sajjana sadA apriya bane rahate haiN| eka kavine ina avivekI rAjAoM aura unake karmacAriyoMkI antarvyavasthA eka anyokti dvArA bahuta sundara rItise kahI hai 're re rAsabha bhUribhAravahanAt kugrAsamaznAti kiM rAjAzvAvasatiM prayAhi caNakAbhUsAn sukhaM bhakSaya / ye ye pucchabhRto hayA iti vadan tatrAdhikAre sthitAH rAjA tairupadiSTameva manute satyaM taTasthAH pre||' eka AdamI gardabhase kahatA hai ki he gardabha ! tuma itanA bhArI bojhA Dhokara bhI kharAba khAnA kyoM khAte ho ? gardabha pUchatA hai to kyA khAU~ ? acchA kahA~se pAU~ ? AdamI kahatA hai ki tuma rAjAke ghor3oMkI zAlAmeM cale jaao| vahA~ Anandase canekA bhUsA khAnA / gardabha bolA-ghor3oMkI zAlAmeM praveza kaise pA sakeMgeM ? AdamIne kahA-vahA~kA jo adhikArI hai usane ghor3oM kI paribhASA banA rakkhI hai ki jisa-jisake pU~cha ho vaha ghor3A hai, tumhAre pU~cha hai hI, kyo Darate ho? gardabhane kahA-adhikArI bevakUpha haiM, para rAjA to nahIM ? jaba rAjA mujhe dekhegA to pITakara nikAla degaa| AdamIne kahA-nahIM, rAjA svayaM kucha nahIM dekhtaa| adhikArI loga jo kucha kaha dete haiM vaha use mAna letA hai| .. gardabhane kahA- acchA, rAjadarabArameM aura bhI to loga rahate haiM, sabhI to murkha nahIM hoNge| AdamIne kahA-sabako kyA lenA-denA ? saba loga taTastha haiM... | kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki usa rAjAke yahA~ acche-burekI kucha sUjha-bUjha nahIM ataH jahA~ taka bane zraddhA to nirmala hI rakkho, anya kArya yathAzakti kro| prANa jAveM to bhale hI jAveM parantu zraddhAko na bigaadd'o| Apa loga yaha na samajheM ki maiM dezavratakI upayogitA nahI samajhatA hU~, khUba samajhatA hU~ aura mere paJca pApakA tyAga bhI hai| vratarUpase bhale hI na ho, parantu merI pravRtti kabhI bhI pApamayI nahIM hotii| merI strI bhI vratoMkA pAlana karatI hai| vaha bhI kucha-kucha svAdhyAya karatI hai| jaba hama donoMkA sambandha huA thA, taba hama donoMne yaha niyama kiyA thA ki cU~ki vivAhakA sambandha kevala viSayAbhilASAkI For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 358 pUrtike liye nahIM hai| kintu dharmakI paripATI calAnevAlI yogya santAnakI utpattike liye hai, ataH RtukAlake anantara hI viSaya-sevana kareMge aura vaha bhI parvake dina chodd'kr| sAtha hI yaha bhI niyama kiyA thA ki jaba hamAre do santAneM ho jaaveNgii| tabase viSaya-vAsanAkA bilakula tyAga kara deveNge| daivayogase hamAre eka santAna caubIsa varSameM huI hai aura dUsarI battIsa varSa meM | aba ATha varSa ho gaye tabase maiM aura merI dharmapatnI donoM hI brahmacaryase rahate haiN| isa samaya merI Ayu cAlIsa varSakI aura merI dharmapatnIkI chattIsa varSakI hai| ye mere donoM bAlaka baiThe haiM tathA yaha jo pAsameM baiThI hai, dharmapatnI hai| aba hama donoMkA sambandha bhAI-bahanake sadRza haiM| Apa loga hama donoMko dekhakara yaha nahIM kaha sakeMge ki ye donoM strI-puruSa haiN| yadi Apa loga apanA kalyANa cAhate hoM to isa vratakI rakSA kro| merI bAta mAnoM, jaba santAna garbhameM AjAve tabase lekara jaba taka bAlaka mA~kA dugdhapAna na chor3a deve taba taka bhUlakara bhI viSaya-sevana na kro| bAlakake samakSa strI se rAgAdimizrita hAsya mata kro| bAlakoMke sAmane kadApi strIse kuceSTA mata karo, kyoki bAlakoMkI pravRtti mAtA-pitAke anurUpa hotI hai, ataH aisA nirmala AcaraNa karo ki tumhArI santAna vIra bne| merI samajhase vIraprabhuke nirvANotsava dekhanekA yahI phala hai|' __ isa taraha unakI rAmakahAnI sunakara kaI loga gad-gada ho gaye aura kahane lage ki hama bhI yaha abhyAsa kreNge| vAstavameM dekhA jAya to bahuta ayogya santAnakI apekSA alpa hI yogya santAna uttama hotI hai| Aja bhAratavarSameM 40 karor3a AdamI haiN| yadi unameM 40 hI nirapekSa hote to bhAratakA kabhI kA utthAna ho jaataa| mere kahanekA yaha tAtparya nahIM ki bhAratameM vijJAnI nahIM, paMDita nahIM, vairisTara nahIM, dhanika nahIM, rAjA nahIM, zUra nahIM, hajAroMkI saMkhyAmeM hoNge| parantu jinheM nirapekSa kahate haiM unakI ginatI alpa hI hogii| isa samaya sabase pramukha tathA cAlIsa koTi hI janatAkA nahIM, apitu samasta vizvakA hita cAhanevAle gA~dhI mahAtmAke sadRza yadi kucha nararatna yahA~ aura hote to kyA bhAratakA utthAna asaMbhava thaa| zrIyuta paM. javAharalAla neharU, dezaratna DaoN. rAjendraprasAda, saradAra ballabhabhAI paTela tathA AcArya kRpalAnI Adi bahutase nararatna bhAratavarSameM hai, jinake puruSArthase hI Aja hama bhAratavarSako AtmIya samajhane lage haiN| svarAjyake darzana hameM inhI logoMke prayatnase hue haiN| astu, yaha to laukika svarAjyakI bAta rahI, isase bhI adhika AvazyakatA hameM For Personal & Private Use Only

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rAjagRhImeM dharmagoSThI 359 vAstavika svarAjyakI hai| usake liye hameM viSayakaSAyoMko tyAganekI AvazyakatA hai| jisa prakAra bhAratako svatantra karAneke liye mahAtmA gA~dhI Adi mahApuruSa kaTibaddha rahe aura paM. neharU Adi kaTibaddha haiM usI prakAra AtmAko svatantra karaneke lie zrIzAntisAgarajI mahArAja digambarAcArya dakSiNa dezavAsI tathA zrIsUryasAgarajI mahArAja digambarAcArya uttara bhAratavAsI kaTibaddha haiN| vAstavika svarAjyake mArgadarzaka Apa hI hai, Apake upadezase hajAroM manuSya dharmamArgameM dRr3ha hue haiN| AcArya-yugala to apane kartavyameM nirata haiM, parantu gRhasthoMkA lakSya apane kartavyakI pUrtimeM jaisA cAhiye vaisA nahIM haiM-abhI bahuta truTi hai| prAcIna saMskRtikI rakSA karanevAlA aisA eka bhI Ayatana abataka nahIM bana sakA hai ki jisameM prativarSa kama-se-kama bIsa to diggaja vidvAn nikaleM, eka bhI aisA vidyAlaya nahIM, jahA~ sabhI viSayoMkI zikSA dI jAtI ho / jainiyoMmeM eka syAdvAda vidyAlaya hI aisA hai jo sarva vidyAlayoMke kendra sthAnameM hai, parantu usameM Aja taka eka lAkha rupayekA koSa nahIM ho skaa| ataH yahI kahanA par3atA hai ki paJcamakAla haiM, isameM aise utkRSTa dharmakI vRddhi honA kaThina hai, ityAdi UhApoha hama logoMmeM hotA rhaa| nirvANotsavake dina yahA~ bahuta bhIr3a ho jAtI hai| jalamandirameM ThIka sthAna pAneke liye loga bahuta pahalese jA pahu~cate haiM aura isa taraha sArI rAta mandirameM cahala-pahala banI rahatI haiN| hama logoMne bhI zrImahAvIra svAmIkA nirvANotsava Anandase mnaayaa| rAjagRhImeM dharmagoSThI pAvApurase calakara rAjagRhI aaye| paJca pahAr3IkI vandanA kI / yahA~kA camatkAra vilakSaNa hai-parvatakI talahaTImeM kuNDa hai, pAnI garama hai aura jinameM eka hI bAra snAna karanese saba thakAvaTa nikala jAtI hai| adhikAMza loga pahale dina tIna pahAr3iyoMkI aura dUsare dina avaziSTa do pahAr3iyoMkI vandanA karate hai| virale manuSya pA~coM pahAr3iyoMkI bhI vandanA eka hI dinameM kara lete haiN| pahAr3iyoMke Upara sundara-sundara sthAna hai, parantu hama loga unakA upayoga nahIM karate, kevala darzana kara hI cale Ate haiN| ____ maiM tIna mAsa yahA~ rhaa| prAtaH kAla sAmAyika karane ke bAda kuNDoMpara jAtA thA aura vahIM AdhA ghaNTA taka snAna karatA thaa| vahIM para bahutase uttama puruSa Ate the| unake sAtha dharmake Upara vicAra karatA thaa| antameM sabake parAmarzase yahI saca nikalA ki dharma 'to AtmAkI nirmala pariNatikA nAma hai| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 360 yaha jo hama pravRtti kara rahe haiM, dharma nahIM hai, mana, vacana, kAyake zubha vyApAra haiN| jahA~ manameM zubha cintana hotA hai, kAyakI ceSTA sarala hotI hai, vacanoMkA vyApAra svaparako aniSTa nahIM hotA vaha saba manda kaSAyake kArya haiN| dharma to vaha vastu hai jahA~ na kaSAya hai aura na mana-vacana-kAyake vyApAra haiN| vAstavameM vaha vastu varNanAtIta hai| usake hote hI jIva muktikA pAtra ho jAtA hai| mukti koI alaukika padArtha nhiiN| jahA~ duHkhoMkI Atyantika nivRtti ho jAtI hai vahIM muktikA vyavahAra hone lagatA hai| kisIne kahA hai __ 'sukhamAtyantikaM yatra buddhigraahymtiindriym| taM vai mokSaM vijAnIyAd duSprApyamakRtAtmabhiH / / ' hama logoMke jo prayAsa haiM ve duHkhanivRttike liye haiN| duHkha kisIko iSTa nahIM / jaba duHkha hotA hai taba AtmA becaina ho uThatI hai| use dUra karaneke liye jo-jo prayatna kiye jAte haiM ve prAyaH hama sabako anubhUta haiN| yahA~ taka dekhA gayA hai ki jaba atyanta du:khakA anubhava hotA hai aura jIva use sahanemeM asamartha ho jAtA hai taba viSa khAkara mara jAtA hai| lokameM yahA~ taka dekhA gayA hai ki manuSya kAmavedanAkI pIr3AmeM putrI, mAtA aura bhaginIse bhI samparka kara letA hai| yahA~ taka dekhA gayA hai ki ucca kulake manuSya bhaMgina ke saMsargase bhaMgI taka ho jAte haiN| eka grAma madanapura hai jo merI janmabhUmise cAra mIla hai| vahA~ eka bhaMgina thii| usakA samparka kisI ucca kulake manuSyase ho gyaa| pulisavAloMne usapara mukadamA claayaa| jaba vaha adAlatameM pahuMcI taba majisTreTase bolI ki 'ise kyA pha~sAte ho ? mere pAsa eka ghar3e bhara janeU rakhe haiM, kisa-kisako pha~sAoge, merA saundarya dekhakara acche-acche janeUdhArI pairoMkI dhUli cATate the aura mai bhI aisI pApina nikalI ki jisane apanA nAza to kiyA hI sAthameM sahasroMko bhI naSTa kara diyaa| isase siddha hotA hai ki AtmA duHkhakara vedanAmeM sadasatke vivekase zUnya ho jAtA hai, ataH duHkhanivRtti hI puruSArtha hai| duHkhoMkA mUla kAraNa icchA hai| isakA tyAga hI sukhakA janaka hai| icchAkI utpatti mohAdhIna hai| mohameM yaha AtmA anAtmIya padArthoM meM AtmIyatvakI kalpanA karatA hai| jaba AtmIya padArthako apanA mAna liyA taba usake anukUla padArthoM meM rAga aura pratikUla padArthoM meM dveSa svayaM hone lagatA hai, ataH hamArI goSThImeM yahI carcAkA viSaya rahatA thA ki isa zarIrameM nijatvabuddhiko sabase pahale haTAnA caahie| yadi yaha haTa gaI to zarIrake jo sambandhI haiM unase For Personal & Private Use Only

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rAjagRhImeM dharmagoSThI 361 sutarAM mamatAbuddhi haTa jAvegI / 1 isa zarIra ke janaka mukhyatayA mAtA aura pitA haiM / pitAkI apekSA mAtAkA vizeSa sambandha rahatA hai, kyoki vaha hI isako poSaNa karanemeM mukhya kAraNa hai| jaba yaha nizcaya hai ki yaha zarIra hamArA nahIM, kyoMki isakI racanA pudgaloMse hai / mAtAkA raja aura pitAkA vIrya, jo ki isI utpattimeM kAraNa haiM, paudgalika haiN| AhArAdi, jinase ki isakA poSaNa hotA hai, paudgalika haiM, jisa karmake udaya se isakI racanA huI vaha bhI paudgalika hai, tathA isakI vRddhimeM jo sahAyaka haiM ve saba paudgalika hai.... taba ise jo hama apanA mAnate the vaha hamArI ajJAnatA thI / Aja AgamAbhyAsa, satsamAgama aura karma lAghavase hamArI buddhimeM yaha A gayA ki hamArI pichalI mAnyatA mithyA thI / hama logoMko isase mamatAbhAva chor3a denA hI kalyANa patha hai 1 koI yaha kahatA thA ki isa vyarthake vitaNDAvAdase kucha sAra nahIM nikltaa| jaba yaha nizcaya ho gayA ki yaha zarIra para hai, paudgalika hai aura hama cetana haiM, hamArA isake sAtha koI bhI vAstavika sambandha nhiiN| jo sambandha aupacArika haiM ve bane hI raheMge, unase hamArI kyA hAni ? ataH hameM ucita hai ki hama apanI AtmAmeM jo rAga-dveSa hote haiM unase taTastha raheM, unheM apanAnekA abhiprAya tyAga deM / isa prakAra pratidina hamAre sAtha Agantuka mahAnubhAvoMkI carcA hotI rahatI thI / vahA~ se Akara mandirajImeM bhI zAstra - pravacana karatA thA / zrIyuta mahAzaya nandalAlajI sarAvagI jo ki bahuta sajjana haiM aura jinhoMne yahA~ eka baMgalA banavAyA hai tathA kabhI-kabhI yahA~ Akara dharmasAdhanameM apanA samaya bitAte haiM / ApakA gharAnA bahuta hI dhArmika hai| Apake svargIya pitAjIne syAdvAda vidyAlaya banArasako 5000) ekabAra kalakattAmeM dAna diyA thaa| ApakI koThI kalakattAmeM haiN| Apa bar3e-bar3e AphisoMmeM dalAlIkA kAma karate haiN| yahA~ para aura bhI aneka koThiyA~ haiM / eka koThI zrIyukta kAlUrAmajI modI girIDIhavAloMne bhI banavAI hai / isa prakAra tIna mAsa maiM yahA~ rahA / yahA~kA jalavAyu atyanta svaccha hai / harI-bharI pahAr3iyoMke dRzya, vilakSaNa kuNDa aura prAkRtika kandarAe~ sahasA manako AkarSita kara letI haiN| vipulAcalakA dRzya dharmazAlAse hI dikhAI detA hai| yahA~ pahu~cate hI yaha bhAva ho jAtA hai ki yahA~ zrIvIra bhagavAnkA samavasaraNa For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 362 jaba AkAzameM bharatA hogA aura cAroM orase jaba manuSya, vidyAdhara tathA devagaNa usameM praveza karate hoMge taba kitanA Ananda na hotA hogA ? bhagavAnkI jagat-kalyANakAriNI divyadhvanise yahA~kI dyAvA-pRthvI guJjita rahI hogii| yaha vahI sthAna hai jahA~ mahArAja zreNika jaise vivekI rAjA aura mahArAnI celanA jaisI pativratA rAnIne AvAsa kiyA thaa| vipulAcalapara dRSTi jAte hI yaha bhAva sAmane A jAtA hai ki bhagavAn mahAvIra svAmIkA samavasaraNa bharA huA hai, gautama gaNadhara virAjamAna haiM aura mahArAja zreNika natamastaka hokara unase vividha praznoMkA uttara suna rahe haiN| astu, yahA~se paidala yAtrA karate hue hama IsarI A gaye, mArgameM uttama-uttama dRzya mile| . girIDIhakA cAturmAsa jaba hajArIbAga AyA taba grAmase bAhara cAra mIla para rAtri ho gii| sar3aka para Thaharaneke liye koI sthAna nahIM thA, kevala eka dharmazAlA thI, jo ki kalakattAmeM rahanevAle eka mehatarane banavAI thii| cUMki vaha mehatarakI banavAI thI, isase sAthake logoMne usameM ThaharanemeM etarAja kiyaa| maiMne kahA-'bhAIyoM ! dharmazAlA to IMTa-cUnAkI hai| isameM Thaharanese kyA hAni hai ? itanI ghRNA kyoM ? Akhira vaha bhI to munaSya hai aura usane paropakArakI dRSTise banavAI haiN| kyA usako puNyabandha nahIM hogA ? banavAte samaya usake to yahI bhAva rahe hoMge ki amuka jAtikA zubhapariNAma kare tabhI puNyabandha ho| jisake zubhapariNAma hoMge vahI puNyakA pAtra hogaa| jaba ki cAroM gatiyoMmeM samyagdarzana ho sakatA hai taba paJcalabdhiyA~ hone para yadi bhaMgIko samyagdarzana ho jAve to kauna rokanevAlA hai ? jarA vivekase kAma lo| jisake ananta saMsArakA nAza karanevAlA samyagdarzana ho jAve aura puNyajanaka zubha pariNAma na ho...yaha buddhimeM nahIM aataa|' eka bolA-'hama yaha kucha nahIM jAnate, kintu lokavyahAra aisA nahIM ki bhaMgI kI dharmazAlAmeM ThaharA jAveM / ' maiMne kahA- "kisI bhaMgIne cAra Amake per3a mArgameM lagA diye| hama loga ghAmase pIr3ita hote hue usa mArgase nikaleM aura chAyAmeM baiThanA hI cAhate hoM ki itanemeM koI kaha uThe ki e musAphira ! ye per3a bhaMgI ne lagAye haiM, taba kyA hama unakI chAyAko tyAga deMge?' hamAre sAthake AdamI bole- 'varNIjI ! lokamaryAdAkA lopa mata kro|' maiMne kahA-"bhaiyA ! lokamaryAdA isIko kahate haiM ki hama aspatAlakI davAiyA~ khAveM, jahA~kI pratyeka kAryakI saphAI karanevAle yahI bhaMgI hote haiM, jahA~ kI auSadhiyA~ mAMsa For Personal & Private Use Only

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girIDIhakA cAturmAsa 363 aura madirAse bharI rahatI haiM, jahA~ tAkatavara auSadhimeM prAyaH machalIkA tela diyA jAtA hai aura jahA~ aMDoMke svarasakA yoga auSadhiyoMke sAtha kiyA jAtA hai| Apake sAmane to banI huI svaccha davAI AtI hai, isase kucha patA nahIM calatA, para kisI DAkTara se usake upAdAna aura banAnekI prakriyAko pUcho aura vaha saca-saca batalAve to romAMca uTha AveM, zarIra sihara jAve ! hoTaloMmeM khAveM, jahA~ ki ucchiSTakA koI vicAra nahIM rahatA.... ina saba kAryoMse lokamaryAdA banI rahatI hai, para eka bhaMgIke paisese banI huI dharmazAlAmeM Thaharanese lokamaryAdA naSTa huI jAtI hai, yAne yahA~kI pRthvI hI azuddha ho gii| bahuta kahA~ taka kaheM usa dharmazAlAmeM ThaharanA kisIne svIkAra nahIM kiyaa| antameM eka grAmameM jAkara eka kRSakake makAnameM Thahara gye| kRSaka bahuta hI uttama prakRtikA thaa| usane A~gana khAlI kara diyA tathA eka makAna bhii| hama logoMne Anandase rAtri bitaaii| prAtaHkAla sariyA (hajArIbAgaroDa) A gye| yahA~ para apane paricita bhauMrIlAlajI seThIke yahA~ tthhre| bahuta hI premase rhe| yahA~se dinameM phira IsarI pahu~ca gye| seTha kamalApati, tapasI svAmI dAmodara, sohanalAlajI tathA bAbU govindalAlajI, jo purAne sAthI the, Anandase mila gye| zrIyuta bAbU dhanyakumArajI ArAvAle bhI mila gaye / ApakI dharmapatnIkA hamase bahuta hI sneha rahatA hai| zrImakkhanalAlajI siMghaI chaparAvAle bhI yahA~ dharmasAdhanake lie aaye| Apake tIna suputra haiM, gharake sampanna haiM; zAstra sunanekA Apako bahuta hI prema hai, subodha bhI haiN| isa prakAra yahA~ Anandase dina bItane lge| cAra mAsake bAda girIDIhameM cAturmAsake lie cale gye| madana bAbU bar3e premase le gye| pahale dina cirakI rhe| yahA~se girirAjakI yAtrA kara phira yahIM A gye| yahA~se barAkaTa gye| yahA~ para zvetAmbara dharmazAlA bahuta sundara hai| bIcameM mandira hai| usImeM sAnanda rAtri vyatIta kii| prAtaHkAla calakara girIDIha pahu~ca gye| yahA~ para sukhase kAla bItane lgaa| bAbA rAdhAkRSNake ba~galAmeM tthhre| yahA~ para do mandira haiN| eka terApaMthI AmnAyakA hai| usameM zrIbrahmacArI khecarIdAsajI pUjana karate haiN| dUsarA mandira bAbU rAmacandra madanacandrajIkA hai| yaha mandira bahuta hI sundara hai| mandirake nIce eka mahatI dharmazAlA hai, do kUpa haiN| bahuta hI nirmala sthAna hai| yahA~ke pratyeka gRhastha snehI haiN| zrI 4040 For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 364 jahA~ maiM ThaharA thA unake bhAI kAlUrAmajI modI the, jo bahuta hI sampanna the| unase merA vizeSa prema ho gyaa| vaha nirantara mere pAsa Ane lge| yahA~ para bAbU rAmacandrajI bahuta hI suyogya haiN| mandirakA hisAba Apake hI pAsa rahatA hai| logokI bar3I zaka thii| unase maiMne kahA ki 'mandirakA hisAba kara denA ApakI santAnako lAbhadAyaka hogaa| Apane eka mAsake andara hisAba de diyaa| logoMkI zaMkA dUra ho gii| ApakI kIrti ujjvala ho gii| madana bAbU bahuta prasanna hue| zrIrAmacandra bAbU bhI bahuta hI prasanna hue| Apake bhatIje jaggU bhAI bahuta hI yogya vyakti the| para aba na madana bAbU haiM aura na jaggU bAbU / donoM hI svargadhAma sidhAra cuke haiN| Apake viyoga se zrIrAmacandra bAbUko bahuta kucha vedanA huI, parantu saMsArakA yahI svabhAva hai| yahA~ zrImodI kAlUrAmajIke bhrAtA bAlacandrajI bahuta suyogya tathA vicAraka vyakti haiN| Apa hindI bhASAke uttama lekhaka haiN| Apane eka mAravAr3I itihAsa bar3e prayatnase likhA hai| usameM mAravAr3iyoMke utthAna aura patanakA acchA digdarzana karAyA hai| yahA~ para syAdvAda vidyAlayako acchI sahAyatA prApta huii| yahA~se calakara barAkaTameM rahanekA merA vicAra thA, parantu bhAvI bAta bar3I prabala hotI sAgarakI ora droNagirise siMghaI vRndAvanajIne hIrAlAla pujArIko bhejaa| usane jo-jo prayatna kiye vaha hamAre bundelakhaNDa prAntameM Aneke lie saphala hue| hIrAlAlane kahA ki 'aba to dezakA mArga lenA caahie| maine kahA-'vaha deza aba kucha karatA dharatA hai nahIM, kyA kareM? usane kahA-'siMghaI vRndAvanane kahA hai ki varNIjI jo kucha kaheMge, hama kreNge| maiMne khaa-'acchaa|' manameM yaha vikalpa to thA hI ki eka bAra avazya sAgara jAkara pAThazAlAko cirasthAyI kiyA jAya / yahI bIja aise pavitra sthAnase mere pRthak honekA huaa| vAstavameM zikSApracArakI dRSTise bundelakhaNDa kI sthiti zocanIya hai| loga ratha Adi mahotsavoMmeM to kharca karate haiM para isa ora jarA bhI dhyAna nahIM dete| zikSApracArakI dRSTise aneka prayatna hue, para abhI taka jitanI cAhie utanI saphalatA nahIM milI hai| yadyapi isa dRSTise hamane bundelakhaNDameM jAkara vahA~kI sthiti sudhAranekA vicAra kiyA, para paramArthase dekhA jAya to hamase bar3I galatI huI For Personal & Private Use Only

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sAgarakI ora 365 ki pArzvaprabhuke pAdamUlakA tyAgakara 'punarmUSako bhava' kA upAkhyAna caritArtha kiyaa| upAkhyAna isa prakAra hai-'eka sAdhuke pAsa eka cUhA thaa| eka dina eka billI aaii| cUhA Dara gyaa| Darakara sAdhu mahArAjase bolA-bhagavan ! "mArjArAda vibhemi', sAdhu mahArAjane AzIrvAda diyA-'mArjAro bhava', isa AzIrvAdase cUhA bilAva ho gyaa| eka dina bar3A kuttA AyA, mArjAra Dara gayA aura sAdhu mahArAjase bolA-'prabho ! zuno vibhemi,' sAdhu mahArAjane AzIrvAda diyaa| 'zvA bhava' | aba vaha mArjAra kuttA ho gyaa| eka dina vanameM mahArAjake sAtha kuttA jA rahA thaa| acAnaka mArgameM vyAghra mila gyaa| kuttA mahArAjase bolA-'vyAghrAd vibhemi|' mahArAjane AzIrvAda diyA-'vyAghro bhava' / aba vaha vyAghra ho gyaa| jaba vyAghra tapovanake saba hariNa Adi pazuoMko khA cukA, taba eka dina sAdhu mahArAjake hI Upara jhapaTane lgaa| sAdhu mahArAjane punaH AzIrvAda de diyA- 'punarapi mUSako bhv|' yahI avasthA hamArI huii| zikharajImeM (IsarImeM) sAnanda dharmasAdhana karate the, kintu logoMke kahanemeM Akara phirase sAgara jAnekA nizcaya kara liyaa| isa paryAyameM hamArI yaha mahatI bhUla huI, jisakA prAyazcitta phirase vahIM jAneke sivAya anya kucha nahIM / cakrameM A gyaa| hIrAlAlane bahuta kucha kahA ki bundelakhaNDI manuSyoMkA sthAna-sthAnapara apamAna hotA hai| isase mujhe kucha svadezAbhimAna jAgRta ho gayA aura vahA~ke logoMkA kucha utthAna karanekI mAnatA uTha khar3I huii| jaba maiM calane lagA taba girIDIhakI samAjako bahuta hI kheda huaa| khedakA kAraNa sneha hI thaa| zrIkAlUrAmajI modI aura bAbU rAmacandrajIkA kahanA thA ki ye saba saMsArake kArya haiN| hote hI rahate haiN| mAnApamAna puNya-pApodayameM hote haiN| dUsareke pIche Apa apanA akalyANa kyoM karate haiM ? para manameM eka bAra sAgara AnekI prabala bhAvanA utpanna ho cukI thI, ataH maiMne eka na sunii| mArgameM IsarIse prasthAna karaneke samaya sampUrNa tyAgIvarga eka mIla taka AyA / sabane bahuta hI sneha janAyA tathA yahA~ taka khaa-'pchtaaoge| parantu mujha mUr3hane eka na sunii| bAbU dhanyakumArajI bAr3havAloMne bhI bahuta samajhAyA, parantu maiMne ekakI na sunI aura vahA~se calakara do dina bAda hajArIbAgaroDa A gyaa| yahA~ para do dina rhaa| bAda koDaramA pahu~ca gyaa| yahA~ para cAra dina taka nahI For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 366 jAne diyaa| yahA~ paNDita govindarAyajI haiM jo bahuta hI sajjana haiM, subodha haiN| ApakI dharmapatnI sAgarakI lar3akI hai| Apake suputra bhI par3hanemeM bahula yogya haiN| yahA~ zrIjagannAthaprasAdajIne paccIsasau rupayA dAna dekara eka auSadhAlaya khulavAyA hai| yahA~se calakara raphIgaMja Aye, do dina tthhre| yahA~para mandira bana rahA thA, usake liye pA~ca hajAra rupayA kA candA ho gyaa| yahA~se calakara auraMgAbAda aayaa| yahA~ para gayAvAle zrIdAnUlAlajI seThIkA bar3A makAna, hai, usImeM tthhre| Anandase dina biitaa| rAtriko rAmadhuna sunii| rAmadhunavAle aise magna ho jAte haiM ki unako apane zarIrakI bhI sudha bisara jAtI hai| yahA~se calakara kucha dina bAda DAlamiyAnagara A gye| yahIM para zrImAn sAhu zAntiprasAdajI sAhaba rahate haiN| Apa bahuta hI suyogya aura dhArmika vyakti haiN| yahA~ para Apake kaI kArakhAne haiM- zakkara mila, simenTa mila, kAgaja mila aadi| Apake viSayameM pahale likha AyA huuN| Apane cha: lAkha rupayese apanI svargIya mAtAkI smRtimeM bhAratIya jJAnapITha saMsthA kholI hai, jisakA kAryAlaya banArasameM hai aura usake prabandhakartA paM. mahendrakumArajI nyAyAcArya haiN| Apake dvArA anekoM chAtroMko mAsika chAtravRtti milatI hai| bhAratavarSIya jaina pariSadkI jo vizeSa unnati huI hai vaha ApakI hI udAratAkA phala hai| Apake prAiveTa sekreTarI bAbU lakSmIcandrajI haiM jo iMgliza tathA anya viSayake bhI ema.e. haiN| ApakI dharmapatnI grejueTa haiN| ApakA svabhAva atyanta sarala aura dayAlu hai| zrIzAntiprasAdajIke dhArmika kAryoM meM zubha sammatidAtA bAbU ayodhyAprasAdajI goyalIya haiM, jo eka viziSTa vyakti hai| ApakI sammatise aneka dharmakAryoM meM pragati ho rahI hai| Apa anekAnta patrake kitane hI varSa prabandhaka raha cuke haiN| aba punaH Apane usa patrako apane hAthameM apanAyA hai, isalie saMbhava hai patrakI vizeSa unnati hogii| patrake sampAdaka zrI paM. jugalakizorajI mukhtAra haiN| yadi koI zrImAn inake saMkalita sahityako prakAzita karatA to bahuta navIna vastu dekhaneMmeM AtI, parantu zrImAnoMkI dRSTi abhI isa ora jhukI nhiiN| zrI mukhtAra sAhabako do kAryakartA atyanta kuzala mile haiN| jinameM eka to zrI paNDita darabArIlAlajI nyAyAcArya hai , jinhone nyAyadIpikA Adi kaI granthoMko navIna paddhatise mudrita kraayaa| dUsare paNDita zrIparamAnandajI zAstrI haiM jo atIva karmaTha vyakti haiN| yadi ApakA kAryAlaya banArasa jaise sthAna meM hotA to janatA kA bahuta hI upakAra hotaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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mArgameM 367 sAhU zAntiprasAdajI atyanta sAdI veSabhUSAmeM rahate haiN| maiM jisa dina vahA~se calanevAlA thaa| usa dina bihArake gavarnara Apake yahA~ Aye the| bahuta hI dhUmadhAma thI, parantu Apa usI veSameM rahe jisameM ki pratidina rahate the| jo-jo vastue~ Apake yahA~ banatI thIM unakI eka pradarzanI banAI gaI thii| Apake choTe putrane mujhase kahA-'calo Apako pradarzanI dikhAveM / ' maiM sAtha ho gyaa| sarva prathama kAgajakI bAta AI, vahA~ kucha bA~sa par3e the| vaha bolA-'samajhe, yaha bA~sa hai| isake choTe-choTe Tukar3e kara burAdA taiyAra kiyA jAtA hai| phira lugadI taiyAra kI jAtI hai| phira use sapheda banAyA jAtA hai|' tAtparya yaha ki usane bar3I saralatAse kAgaja banAnekI pUrI prakriyA zurUse anta taka samajhA dii| isI prakAra sImenTa tathA zakkara Adi banAnekI vyavasthA acchI taraha samajhA dii| maiM bAlakakI buddhikI tIvratA dekhakara bahuta hI prasanna huaa| aise honahAra bAlaka anyatra bhI surakSita rahate haiN| aisI hI buddhi unakI hotI hai| balki kinhIM-kinhIMkI inase bhI adhika hotI haiM, parantu unheM koI nimitta nahIM miltaa| maiM cAra dina vahA~ rahA, Anandase samaya biitaa| Apane eka gAr3I aura eka munIma sAtha kara diyA, jo sAgara taka pahuMcA gayA thaa| Apane bahuta kahA'sAgara mata jaao|' parantu udayake samakSa kucha na clii| vahA~se calakara dasa dina bAda banArasa A gyaa| cAlIsa mIla pahalese bAbU rAmasvarUpajI baruAsAgarase A gye| banArasa sAnanda pahu~ca gye| vahA~ para syAdvAda vidyAlaya hai| usakA utsava huA / cAra hajAra rupayAkA candA ho gyaa| paM. kailAzacandrajI pradhAnAdhyApaka haiM jo bahuta yogya vyakti haiN| paM. phUlacandrajI siddhAntazAstrI bhI yahIM rahate haiN| kaTanIse paM. jaganmohanalAlajI zAstrI aura sAgarase paM. munnAlAlajI rAMdhelIya tathA zrI pUrNacandrajI bajAja bhI A gye| chAtroMke vyAkhyAna atyanta rocaka hue| yahA~ para zrIgaNezadAsajI va zrImadhusUdanajI bar3e sajjana haiM / bAbU harSacandrajI syAdvAda vidyAlayake adhiSThAtA haiM aura bAbU sumatilAlajI mNtrii| donoM hI vyakti bahuta yogya tathA utsAhI haiN| parantu hama ekadama hI ayogya nikale ki saMskRta vidyAkA kendra tyAgakara 'punarmUSako bhava' kI kathA caritArtha karaneke liye sAgarako prasthAna kara diyA aura banArasakI hadda chor3aneke bAda dasamI pratimAkA vrata pAlane lge| cAra dinake bAda mirjApura pahu~ca gye| vahA~ para do dina rhe| pazcAt For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 368 dasa dinameM rIvA~ pahu~ca gye| yahA~ para zrIzAntinAtha svAmIkI mUrti darzanIya hai| yahA~se calakara tIna dinameM satanA phuNce| yahA~ para zrImAn dharmadAsajIke Agraha vizeSase cAra dina rahanA pdd'aa| Apane eka hajAra eka rupayA yaha kaha kara diyA ki ApakI jahA~ icchA ho vahA~ke liye de denA / yahA~ se calakara par3ariyA aaye| yahA~ para cAra dina tthhre| pazcAt yahA~se calakara pannA A gye| tIna dina rhe| yahA~se candananagara aaye| yahA~para pAnIkA prakopa rahA, ataH bar3I kaThinatAse khajarAhA phuNce| yaha atizaya kSetra prAcIna evaM kalApUrNa mandiroMke samudAyase prasiddha hai| yahA~ zAntinAtha svAmIkI mUrti bahuta hI manojJa hai, bIsa phuTase kama na hogii| yahA~ke viSayameM pahale likha cuke haiN| yahA~se calakara cAra dina bAda chatarapura A gye| yahA~ para saMskRta jaina sAhitya bhaNDAra aura prAcIna pratimAe~ bahuta haiM, parantu vartamAnameM unakI vyavasthA sundara nhiiN| yahA~ para caudharI hIrAlAlajI rAjamAnya haiM, pratiSThita bhI haiM tathA samAjameM unakA Adara bhI hai| unakA lakSya kyA hai ve jAneM, parantu vaha puruSArtha kareM to isa prAntakA bahuta kucha sudhAra ho sakatA hai| yahA~se kaI maMjala tayakara devarAna phuNce| yahA~ para lampU siMghaI bar3e sajjana haiN| Atithya satkAra acchA kiyaa| prAyaH unake yahA~ do yA cAra jainI AtehI rahate haiN| vyavahArapaTu bhI haiN| hameM AzA thI ki droNagiri pAThazAlAko vizeSa sahAyatA kareMgeM, parantu kucha bhI na kiyaa| vidyAkA rasika honA kaThina hai| yahA~se calakara malaharA aaye| yahA~para vRndAvana siMghaI atyanta udAra aura kuzala vyApArI haiN| bar3e Adarase rakkhA / eka dina modI bAlacandrajIne bhI rakkhA / yahA~ para sa. siM. sonelAlajI vaidya vaidyaka aura ziSTAcArameM nipuNa haiN| yahA~se cAra mIla zrIdroNAgiri siddhakSetra hai, vahA~ pahu~ca gye| melAkA avasara thA, isase bhIr3a prAyaH acchI thii| gurudatta pAThazAlAkA utsava huaa| siMghaIjI sabhApati hue| mantrI malaiyA bAlacandrajI bI.esa.sI. ne bahuta hI mArmika vyAkhyAna diyaa| use zravaNa kara dasa hajAra eka rupayA siMghaI vRndAvanane, 5001) siMghaI kundalanalAlajIne aura 300) ke andAja anya logoMne candA diyaa| 1000) svayaM malaiyA bAlacandrajIne bhI diye| melA sAnanda huaa| isake bAda Agantuka mahAzaya to cale gye| hamane sAnanda kSetrakI vandanA kii| kSetra bar3A hI nirmala aura ramya hai| pahAr3ase nIcekI ora dekhane para zikharajIkA dRzya A~khoMke sammukha A jAtA hai| parvatake sAmane eka vipula nadI baha rahI hai to eka pUrvakI ora bhI baha rahI hai| dakSiNakI ora eka For Personal & Private Use Only

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mArgameM 369 bRhatkuNDa bharA huA hai, jo pahAr3IkI talahaTIse nikalA haiN| yadi koI parvatakI parikramA karanA cAhe to do ghaNTAmeM kara sakatA hai aura Der3ha ghanTAmeM vandanA kara sakatA hai| pahAr3apara zrIpyAraku~varajI seThAnI (dharmapatnI seTha kalyANamalajI indaura) ne eka uttama kuTI banavA dI hai, jisake andara eka dezI pattharakA baDA bhArI cabUtarA banavAyA hai, jisameM tapa karate hue RSiyoMke citra aMkita hai, jinheM dekhakara cittameM zAnti A jAtI hai|| kSetrake viSayameM vizeSa varNana pIche likhA jA cukA hai| isI droNagirimeM eka rAmabagasa phaujadAra thaa| ApakA prAkRta aura saMskRtameM acchA abhyAsa thaa| Apa vaidya bhI the| Apake banAye paccIsoM bhajana haiN| Apake dvArA kSetrakI zobhA thii| ApakA pravacana bhI acchA hotA thaa| Apake svargAroharaNake bAda Apake suputra kamalApati bhI kSetrakA kArya saMbhAlate rhe| ApakA bhI svargavAsa ho gyaa| vartamAnameM Apake do suputra haiN| ekakA nAma motIlAla aura dUsarekA nAma pannAlAla hai| Apa loga bhI gRhasthIkA bhAra saMbhAlate hue jAtisudhArameM bahuta bhAga lete haiM, parantu yaha aisA prAnta hai ki vidhAtA bhI sAkSAt A jAve to yahA~ke loga use bhI cakrameM DAla deveN| saMsArameM bAlavivAhakI prathAkA anta ho gayA, parantu yahA~ para yaha rUr3hi apavAda rUpase hai| yahA~ zrI paM. gorelAlajI zAstrI aura ina donoM mahAnubhAvoMne isa prathAkA anta karaneke lie atyanta prayatna kiyA, parantu kara nahIM ske| jalabihAra meM 500) taka lagA deveMge, parantu prasannatAmeM vidyAdAnameM pA~ca rupayA na deveNge| yahA~ adhikatara loga jainadharmake zraddhAlu haiM, parantu loga unheM apanAte nhiiN| na jAne logoMne jainadharmako kyA samajha rakhA hai| pahale to vaha kisI vyaktivizeSakA dharma nhiiN| jo AtmA mohAdise chUTa jAve usImeM usakA vikAsa ho jAtA hai| jaise sUryakA vikAsa kisI jAti kI apekSA prakAza nahI krtaa| evaM dharma kisI jAtivizeSakI paitRka sampatti nhiiN| jo bhI AtmA viparIta abhiprAyakI malinatAse kalaMkita na ho usI AtmAmeM isa dharmakI utpatti ho jAtI hai| hama logoMne jainadharmakI vyApakatAkA ghAta kara rakkhA hai| yaha bhI eka kathana zailI hai ki dharma to pratyeka AtmAmeM zaktirUpase vidyamAna rahatA hai| jaba jisake vikAsameM A jAveM tabhI dharmAtmA bana jAtA hai| kahanekA tAtparya yaha hai ki yadi koI jainadharmake anukUla pravRtti kare to ise dRr3ha karanA caahie| isa prAntameM brahmacArI cidAnandajIne adhika jAgRti kI hai| yahA~se calakara hama gorakhapura hote hue ghuvArA aaye| yaha grAma bahuta bar3A hai| pA~ca For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 370 jinAlaya haiM, pacAsa ghara jainiyoMke haiM, jinameM paNDita dAmodara bahuta hI suyogya haiM, dhanADhya bhI, sAtha hI prabhAvazAlI bhI haiN| ApakI grAmameM acchI mAnyatA hai| yahA~ para svargIya chatAre siMghaIke do putra the| unameM ekakA to svargavAsa ho gyaa| usake tIna suputra haiN| tInoM hI vyApArameM kuzala haiN| dUsare putra pyArelAlajI haiM, bahuta hI yogya haiN| eka seTha bhI grAmameM hai jo bahuta yogya haiN| isI taraha anya mahAnubhAva bhI acchI sthitimeM haiN| yadi yaha loga pUrNa zaktise kAma leveM to eka vidyAlaya yahA~ cala sakatA hai| parantu isa ora abhI dRSTi nahIM hai| __ yahA~se calakara vArAgrAma aaye| grAmameM tIna ghara jainiyoMke haiN| mandira banA rahe haiM, parantu utsAha nhiiN| yahA~se calakara nImaToriyA aaye| yahA~ para pA~ca jinAlaya aura jainiyoMke paccIsa ghara haiN| kaI sampanna haiN| tIna dina ThaharA / eka pAThazAlA bhI sthApita ho gaI hai| yahA~se calakara adAvana aaye| yahA~para eka mandira bana rahA hai-adhUrA par3A hai, yahA~ke ThAkura bar3e sajjana haiN| unhoMne saba paJcAyatako DA~TA aura mandirake liye paryApta candA karavA diyaa| yahA~se calakara kisunapurA bse| vahA~se calakara jAsor3emeM bhojana kiyA aura zAmako barAyaThA pahu~ca gye| __ seTha kamalApatijI yahIMke haiN| unhIMke makAnapara Thahare / Apake suputroMne acchA svAgata kiyaa| yahA~para seTha daulatarAmajI acche dhanADhya haiN| inakI tyAgiyoMke prati nirantara sahAnubhUti rahatI hai| inhIMke yahA~ bhojana huaa| inake udyogase eka pAThazAlA ho gaI hai| paM. padamacandrajI usameM paiMtIsa rupayA mAhavArapara adhyApaka hue haiN| ye seTha kamalApatike dvitIya putra haiN| vizArada dvitIya khaMDa taka inhoMne adhyayana kiyA hai| subodha haiN| vizeSa vidvAn ho jAte, parantu seThajIkI bar3I anukampA huI ki vivAha kara diyA, ataH ye agAr3I na bar3ha ske| isI taraha isa prAntake mA~-bApa AtmIya bAlakoM kI unnatike zatru banate haiN| unake par3hAnemeM eka paisA vyaya karanA pApa samajhate haiN| bhAgyase skUla huA to bAlaka kisI taraha cAra klAsa hindI par3ha lete haiM, bAraha varSameM gRhastha bana jAte hai, choTIsI bahU gharameM A jAtI hai, sAsU AnandameM DUba jAtI hai, pazcAt jaba vaha kucha kAla pAkara bar3I ho jAtI hai taba usase saba karAnA cAhatI hai| bAlya-vivAhake doSase bahU kamajora ho jAtI hai, jaba kAmameM Alasya karatI hai taba vahI sAsa use nAnA avAcyoMse kausatI hai, tAnA mAratI hai tathA zArIrika vedanA detI hai| phala yahA~ taka dekhA gayA hai ki kaI abalAe~ vedanA For Personal & Private Use Only

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mArgameM aura vacanoMkI yAtanA na saha sakane ke kAraNa kUpameM DUbakara mara jAtI haiN| ina rUr3hiyoMkA mUla kAraNa strIsamAjameM yogya zikSAkI nyUnatA hai / yahA~se calakara do mIla para eka ahIroMkI pallI thI, vahIM Thahara gaye / vahA~ thor3I dUrapara eka sundara nadI bahatI hai / vahA~ sAyaMkAlake samaya zauca kriyA karaneke liye gye| ghATake Upara unnata vRkSasamudAya thA / vahIMpara Anandase baiTha gaye aura manameM yahI bhAvanA utpanna huI ki aisA hI sthAna dhyAnake yogya hotA hai| eka ghaNTA sAmAyika kriyA kara sthAnapara A gye| itanemeM gAr3IvAna kahatA hai ki 'cakAkI hAla utara gaI hai, ataH maiM barAyaThA jAtA hU~ aura vahA~se dUsarI gAr3I lAtA huuN| Apa nizcinta hokara soiye|' isI bIca jisake gharapara Thahare the vaha gRhapati A gayA aura hamase bolA- varNIjI, isa gAr3IvAnako jAne dIjiye | jisane gAr3I bhejI usane jAna bUjhakara raddI gAr3I bhejii| vaha loga bar3e kuzala hote haiN| inakI mAyAcArI Apa kyA jAneM ? hama inake kisAna haiM / inake hathakaMDoMse paricita haiN| Aja inakI badaulata hama logokI yaha dazA ho gaI hai ki tanapara kapar3A nahIM, gharameM dAnA nhiiN| para paramAtmA sabakI phikra rakhatA hai| aisA kAnUna banA ki inakI sAhUkArI miTTImeM mila gaI / karjAkI bIsa varSakI kizteM ho gii| khaira, isa carcAse kyA lAbha ? merI gharakI gAr3I hai vaha Apako sAgara taka pahu~cA AvegI / kyA Apa merI isa namra prArthanAko svIkAra na kreNge| ina logoMke dvArA to Apa 600 mIla A gye| bIsa mIla yadi mere dvArA bhI sevA ho jAve to maiM bhI apane janmako saphala samajha~ ? maiMne kahA- 'Apa loga kisAna haiM, khetoMkA kAma adhika rahatA haiN|' isa para vaha bolA- 'acchA, Apa isI gAr3Ise jaaiiye|' isake anantara usane kahA - 'kucha upadeza diijie|' maine kahA- 'acchA Apa kUr3A vagairahameM Aga na lagAiye tathA parastrIkA tyAga kriye|' vaha bolA- 'na lagAveMge, na lagate dekha khuza hoveMge / parastrIkA tyAga vagairaha zabda to hama nahIM jAnate, para yaha avazya jAnate haiM ki jo hamArI strI hai vahI bhogane yogya hai / jaba hama atyanta vyAkula hote haiM / taba usake sAtha viSaya sevana karate haiN| isIse Ajataka hamArA zarIra nIroga hai|' usane apane putrako bulA kara usase bhI kahA ki 'beTA! varNIjI jo vrata dete hai, usakA pAlana karanA tathA kabhI vezyAstrIke nAcameM na jAnA aura varNIjIkA kahanA hai ki roja rAmanAmakI mAlA japanA / ' antameM vaha bolA- 'kucha dugdha pAna kareMge ?' maiMne kahA- 'maiM eka bAra hI bhojana aura pAnI letA huuN|' vaha Azcaryake 371 For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 372 sAtha cupa raha gyaa| anantara hama so gye| prAtaHkAla calakara pATana Aye / yahA~para dasa ghara jainiyoM ke hoNge| yaha grAma paM. munnAlAlajI rAMdhelIyakA hai| ApakA mandira bhI yahIM hai| yahA~para baNDAse paccIsa jainI A gye| yahA~ke jainiyoMne sabake bhojanakA prabandha kiyaa| vinaikAvAle siMghaI bhI Aye tathA vinaikA calane ke liye bahuta Agraha kiyA, parantu hama loga baNDAko prasthAna kara gye| dUsare dina baNDA phuNce| sAdara svAgata huaa| do dina rhe| sAgarakA samAroha __ yahA~se sAgarake liye prasthAna kara diyaa| bIcameM karrApura bhojana huaa| yahA~ sAgarase malaiyA zivaprasAdajI sAhaba tathA siMghaI rAjArAmajI, siMghaI hotIlAlajI Adi milaneke liye aaye| yahA~se calakara baheriyA grAmameM rAtri bitaayii| yahA~ bhI bahutase manuSya milane aaye| prAtaH kAla hote-hote gamariyA nAkepara pacAsa manuSya A gaye aura kacaharI taka pahu~cate-pahu~cate hajAroM nara-nArI A phuNce| bainDa bAjA tathA julUsakA saba sAmAna sAtha thaa| chAvanImeMse ghUmate hue jUlUsake sAtha zrImalaiyAjIke hIrA oNyala milsa pahu~ce / inhoMne bar3A hI svAgata kiyaa| anantara kaTarA bAjAra Aye yahA~para gajAdharaprasAdajIne, jo ki khajAnemeM klarka haiM, gharake daravAjeke samIpa pahu~canepara maMgala AratIse svAgata kiyaa| anantara siMghaI rAjArAma munnAlAlajIne bar3e hI premake sAtha svAgata kiyaa| pazcAt zrIgaurAbAI jaina mandirakI vandanA kii| yahA~para mUrtiyA~ bahuta manojJa haiM tathA sarasvatIbhavana bhI vizAla hai, jisameM pA~ca sau AdamI sAnanda zAstra zravaNa kara sakate haiN| yahA~para jana-samudAya acchA hai| itanA sthAna honepara bhI saMkIrNatA rahatI hai| isa mandirameM avasara Anepara dharma-prabhAvanAke kArya bar3e utsAhake sAtha sampanna hote rahate haiN| yahA~se julUsake sAtha bar3A bAjAra hote hue morAjI bhavanameM pahu~ca gye| mArgameM paccIsoM sthAnoMpara toraNadvAra tathA bandanavAre the| morAjIkI sajAvaTa bhI adbhuta thii| vahA~ cAra hajAra manuSyoMkA samudAya thaa| bar3e hI bhAvase svAgata kiyaa| Agata janatAko atyanta harSa huaa| bAharase acche-acche mahAzayoMkA zubhAgamana huA thaa| zrImAn paM. devakInandanajI sAhaba kArajA, zrImAn paMDita jIvandharajI sAhaba indaura, zrImAn vANIbhUSaNa paM. tulasIrAmajI kAvyatIrtha bar3auta, zrImAn paM. kastUracandrajI IsarI, zrImAn bra. paM. kastUracandrajI For Personal & Private Use Only

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sAgarakA samAroha 373 nAyaka jabalapura tathA sthAnIya zrImAn paM. dayAcandrajI pradhAnAdhyApaka, zrImAn sAhityAcArya paM. pannAlAlajI sAhaba sAhityAdhyApaka, zrImAn paM. mANikacandrajI sAhaba zAstrI, zrImAn paM. lakSmaNaprasAdajI 'prazAnta' tathA zrImAn paM. candramaulijI zAstrI suparinTenDenTa Adi aneka vidvAn mahAnubhAvoMkA jamAva thaa| jabalapura Adise dhanika varga bhI padhAre the| jaise zrImAn seTha veNIprasAdajI tathA zrImAn seTha rAmadAsajI Adi / yaha saba sajjana mahAzaya Anandase dharmazAlAmeM rahakara utsavakI zobhA bar3hA rahe the| rAtriko sabhA huI, jisameM Agata vidvAnoMke uttamottama bhASaNa hue| paM. devakInandanajIkA bhASaNa bahuta hI mArmika huaa| isake bAda vANIbhUSaNajIkA vyAkhyAna huaa| vidyAlayoMko acchI sahAyatA ho gii| sATha hajAra saMskRta vidyAlayako mila gye| gyAraha hajAra rupayoM meM merI mAlA malaiyAjIne lI tathA cAlIsa hajAra rupaye Apane hAIskUlakI bilDiMgako diye| isI prakAra mahilAzramakA bhI utsava huaa| usake liye bhI pandraha hajAra rupayekI sahAyatA mila gii| khuraIse zrImAn gaNapatilAlajI gurahA, jo ki eka prasiddha vyakti hai, isa utsavameM padhAre the| kramazaH melAkA kAryakrama samApta huaa| Agata loga apane-apane ghara cale gye| sAta varSake bAda Anepara maiMne dekhA ki sAgara samAjane apane kAryomeM paryApta pragati kI hai| mere abhAvameM unhoMne mahilAzrama kholakara bundelakhaNDakI vidhavAoMkA saMrakSaNa tathA zikSAkA kArya prArambha kiyA hai tathA jaina hAIskUla kholakara sArvajanika sevAkA kendra bar3hAyA hai| saMskRta vidyAlaya bhI adhika unnati para hai| sAtha hI aura bhI sthAnIya pAThazAlAe~ cAlU kI haiN| mujhe yaha saba dekhakara prasannatA huii| sAta sau mIlakI lambI paidala yAtrAke bAda nizcita maMjilapara pahu~canese maiMne apaneko bhArahIna-sA anubhava kiyaa| sAgarake aMcalameM sAgara hI nahIM, isase sambaddha grAmoMmeM bhI logoMke hRdayameM zikSAke prati prema jAgRta hone lagA thaa| khuraImeM bhI vahA~kI samAjane zrI pArzvanAtha jaina gurukulakI sthApanA kara lI thii| usakA utsava thA, jisameM zrImAn paM. devakInandanajI, siddhAntake marmajJa paM. baMzIdharajI indaura tathA munnAlAlajI samagaurayA Adi vidvAna padhAre the| kAraMjAse zrImAn samantabhadrajI kSullakakA bhI Agamana huA thaa| maiM bhI pahu~cA, bahuta hI samAroha ke sAtha gurukulakA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 374 udghATana huaa| rupayA bhI logoMne puSkala diyaa| vizeSa dravya denevAle zrI sa. siM. gaNapatilAlajI gurahA tathA zrImanta seTha RSabhakumArajIne gurukula ko bilDiMga banavA denekA vacana diyaa| isa avasarapara bhelasAke prasidva dAnavIra zrImanta seTha lakSmIcandrajI padhAre the| Apane gurukulako acchI sahAyatA dii| Ajakala jo dhavala Adi granthoMkA uddhAra ho rahA hai usakA prathama yaza Apako hI hai| khuraIse calakara IsaravArAke prAcIna mandirake darzana karaneke liye gyaa| eka dina rhaa| vahIMpara halAhala jvara A gyaa| eka sau pA~ca DigrI jvara thA, kucha bhI smRti na thii| patA lagate hI sAgarase siMghaIjI A gye| sAthameM zrIbrahmacArI cidAnandajI bhI the| mujhe DolImeM rakhakara sAgara le aaye| mujhe kucha bhI smaraNa na thaa| dasa dina bAda svAsthya sudharA / yaha saba huaa| parantu bhItara kI pariNatikA sudhAra nahIM huA, isase tAttvika zAnti nahIM aaii| sukhapUrvaka sAgarameM rahane lge| cAturmAsa yahIMkA huaa| bhAdramAsameM acche-acche mahAnubhAvoMkA saMsarga rhaa| sahAranapurase zrI nemicandrajI vakIla, unake bar3e bhAI ratanacandrajI mukhtAra, jo ki karaNAnuyogakA acchA jJAna rakhate haiM, paMDita zItalaprasAdajI, paNDita hukumacandrajI salAvA jilA meraTha tathA zrItrilokacandrajI khataulI Adi sajjana pdhaare| Apake sahavAsase tAttvika carcAkA acchA Ananda rhaa| gujarAta prAntase bhI mohanabhAI rAjakoTa tathA tArAcandrajI Adi sajjana pdhaare| eka mahAzaya ahamadAbAdase bhI pdhaare| isa prakAra cAturmAsa Anandase biitaa| isake bAda paM. candramaulijI, jo ki sattarka vidyAlayake suparinTenDenTa the, paTanA grAma le gye| bIcameM DhAnA milaa| yahA~ para svargIya kanchedIlAlajI caudharIke suputra rahate haiM, jo dhanADhya haiM, parantu pariNAmoMke atilubdha haiN| bar3e dabAvameM Akara eka borA gehU~ pAThazAlAko vArSika dAna kiyaa| phira paTanA phuNce| yaha gA~va rahalI tahasIla meM hai| yahA~para bAbUlAlajI bahuta sajjana haiN| eka pAThazAlA hai, jisameM paM. jAnakIprasAda adhyApaka adhyayana karAte haiN| pAThazAlAkA utsava huaa| do hajAra cArasau kA sthAyI phaNDa pAThazAlAkA ho gyaa| yahA~se rahalI gye| nadIke taTapara yaha nagara basA huA hai| usa pAra paTanAgaMja hai, jahA~ jainadharmake bar3e-bar3e mandira bane hue haiN| mandiroMmeM nandIzvara dvIpakI racanA hai| mandiroM kI pUjAke liye eka gA~va lagA huA hai, jisakA For Personal & Private Use Only

Page #408
sAgarake aMcalameM hisAba-kitAba pacAsoM varSase zrIdayAcandrajI bajAjake pAsa calA A rahA hai vaha hisAba Apane saharSa paJcoMke adhIna kara diyaa| Ageke liye zrI siMghaI lakSmaNaprasAdajI haradIvAle isake prabandhaka hue / niyamAnusAra kameTIkA cunAva ho gyaa| 375 yahA~ se calakara haradI AyA aura siMghaI zrIlakSmaNaprasAdajI ke yahA~ ThaharA | ApakA svAsthya eka varSase acchA nahIM thaa| Apane eka varSake liye brahmacaryavratakI pratijJA lI tathA merI mU~gAkI mAlAse NamokAra mantrakA jApa kiyaa| ApakA svAsthya sudharane lagA / Apake yahA~ jo atithi AtA hai| usakA svAgata bar3e utsAha aura bhaktise hotA hai / Apa bar3e tejasvI haiN| gA~va bharameM ApakI dhAka hai / hama jitane dina rahe, barAbara dina-rAta rozana caukI bajatI thii| kisI prakArakI truTi dekhanemeM nahIM aaii| Apa dasa gA~vake jamIMdAra haiN| yadi koI vidvAn Apake yahA~ rahe to Apa sau rupayA mAsika dene ko utsuka haiN| bar3I kaThinAIse Apake yahA~se calakara gar3hAkoTA Aye / yaha gA~va prAcIna hai| yahA~ bar3e-bar3e vaibhavazAlI manuSya ho gaye haiM / yahA~kA caudharI gharAnA bahuta prasiddha thA / aba bhI eka mohallA usI nAmase pukArA jAtA hai / yahA~para zrI pannAlAla vaizAkhiyA bar3e dharmAtmA the| unakI dharmapatnI mulAbAI thii| usake pAsa eka dukAna, makAna, eka ATha tole sonekI TakAvara aura eka cA~dIkA thAla thA / kucha rupayA sAgarameM bhI jamA thA / indaurameM usakA svargavAsa ho gayA / vaha bar3I sajjana dharmAtmA viduSI mahilA thii| usane antima samaya zrIbhagatajI Adike samakSa eka kAgajameM yaha likha diyA ki merA jo dhana hai vaha varNIjIke pAsa bheja diyA jaave| unakI icchA ho, so kareM yaha to usa svargIyA bAIkA abhiprAya thA, parantu usake kuTumbiyoMne jo pahalese hI pRthak the, usakI dukAna aura makAnapara kabjA kara liyA aura hamase bole ki nAlisa kara lo ! mere pAsa usakA jo kucha thA vaha maine vahA~kI pAThazAlAke mantrIko de diyA aura kahA ki vaha to dAna kara gaI para inheM balAtkAra chInanA hai, le leN| parantu phala uttama na hogA / pApake pariNAmoMmeM kabhI bhI sukha nahIM hotA / isa prakAra vyavasthA kara vahA~se nainAgirike melAko calA gyaa| melA acchA huA / pAThazAlAko dasa hajAra rupayeke lagabhaga rupayA ikaTThA ho gayA / yaha kSetra bahuta hI ramya hai / yahA~para choTIsI pahAr3I hai| usapara aneka mandira haiM / pandraha minaTameM dharmazAlAse pahAr3a para pahu~ca jAte haiN| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 376 eka ghaNTAmeM mandiroMke darzana ho jAte haiN| yahA~ eka purAnA mandira hai, jisameM prAcIna kAlakI bahuta sundara mUrti hai| mandirake darzana kara nIce Aiye taba eka sarovara hai, jisake madhyameM seTha javAharalAla mAmadAvAloMne eka mandira banavAyA hai, jise dekhakara pAvApurake jala mandirakA smaraNa ho AtA hai| usake darzana karaneke bAda eka bar3A bhArI makAna milatA hai jo ki zrImAn malaiyA zivaprasAda zobhArAma bAlacandrajI sAgarakA banavAyA huA hai aura jisameM pacAsa chAtra sAnanda vidyAdhyayana kara sakate haiN| isa kSetrapara zrIsvargIya daulatarAma varNI pAThazAlA hai, jisameM bIsa chAtra adhyayana karate haiN| zrIsvargIya daulatarAmajI varNI eka bahuta hI vidvAn mahAtmA the| Apake viSayameM pahale bahuta kucha likha AyA hU~| inakA samAdhimaraNa isI kSetrapara huA thaa| Apake guru zrIbAbA zivalAlajI the, jo bar3e tapasvI the| Apake viSayameM bhI pahale bahuta kucha likha AyA huuN| phira bhI pAThakoMko Apake tapacaraNakI eka bAta sunAnA cAhatA huuN| vaha isa prakAra hai- zrImuralIdhara golApUrva amaramaUke rahanevAle the| bAdameM nAgapura cale gye| vahA~para unhoMne eka hajAra rupayA paidA kara liyaa| vaha purANa likhate the aura bar3I vinayake sAtha likhate the| eka bAra unheM sardI ho gii| unhoMne nAka chinakI to nAkakA kucha pAnI davAtameM gira gyaa| unhoMne lobhavaza vaha syAhI nahIM pheNkii| usIse vaha likhate rhe| antameM unake yaha bhAva hue ki likhanemeM bar3A kaSTa hotA hai aura bar3e parizramase eka dinameM eka rupayAkA likha sakate haiN| calo saTTAmeM rupayA lagA deveM, kucha dinameM eka hajArake dasa hajAra rupaye ho jaaveNge| lAlacameM par3akara unhoMne eka hajAra rupayA ga~vA diye / antameM duHkhI hokara sahAranapura cale gye| vahA~para unakI eka mA~, jo andhI thI, unake sAtha raha gii| khurajA meM unheM saba prakArakI suvidhA thii| vahA~ke prasiddha svargIya seTha unakI saba sahAyatA karate the| maiM bhI una dinoM khurajAmeM hI adhyayana karatA thaa| zrImuralIdharajIko kuSTa ho gyaa| maiMne eka dina kahA- 'bhAI sAhaba ! isakI davA nahIM krte| Apa bole-'mere isI janmakA phala hai|' maiMne pUchA-'kyA bAta haiM ?' taba Apane saba kahAnI sunaaii| vahI muralIdhara jaba bamarAnA Aye, taba bAbU zivalAlajIne kahA- bhaiyA ! anartha to bahuta ho gayA, parantu kucha cintAkI bAta nhii| isa mantrakA smaraNa karo aura pariNAAmoMkI nirmalatA rkho| yadi ApakI dharmameM zraddhA hai to cha: mAsameM ApakA roga calA jaavegaa| 'U~ namo bhagavate'rhate kevaline, ityAdi mantrakA For Personal & Private Use Only

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sAgarake aMcalameM 377 jApya karo aura cha: mAsako namaka tyaago|' sAthahI seThajIne kahA ki inakI vaiyyAvRttya karanemeM glAni na krnaa| daivayogase zrImuralIdhara kA chaha mAsameM kuSTa calA gyaa| bAbA zivalAlajIkI tapasyAkA camatkAra dekhanevAle aba taka haiN| ApakA svargavAsa ratalAmameM huA thaa| yaha eka aprAsaMgika bAta A gii| astu, nainAgirike Asa-pAsa jainiyoMkI basatI acchI hai tathA sampanna ghara bahuta haiN| parantu isa ora unakI ruci vizeSa mAlUma nahIM hotI, anyathA yahA~ eka acchA vidyAlaya cala sakatA hai| nainAgirise calakara zAhapura aayaa| bIcameM bar3A baMDA milaa| yahA~ bhI pAThazAlAke liye eka hajAra pA~ca sau rupaye ho gye| zAhapurake AdamI utsAhI bahuta haiN| yahA~ puSpadanta vidyAlayako pUrvakA dravya milAkara bIsa hajAra rupayAkA phaNDa ho gyaa| vidyAlayake sivA yahA~para eka ciroMjAbAI kanyAzAlAke nAmase mahilA pAThazAlA bhI khula gii| isakI sthApanAkA zreya zrIpatAsIbAI gayAko hai| ApakI pravRtti itanI nirmala hai ki dekhanese prazama mUrtikA darzana ho jAtA hai| Apa svayaM dAna detI haiM aura anyase preraNA kara dilAtI haiN| Apane pA~ca sau manuSya evaM striyoMke bIca vyAkhyAna dekara sabake manako komala banA diyA, jisase kucha hI samayameM pacAsa rupayA mAsikakA candA ho gyaa| anantara paTanAgaMjake mandiroMke darzanake lie aaye| jo ki rahalI grAmakI nadI ke Upara haiN| yahA~ para tIna dina rahe phira damohako cale gye| vahA~se zrIkuNDalapura gye| yahA~para paravAra sabhA kA utsava thA, jisameM bar3I-bar3I spIceM huiiN| kucha loga to yahA~ taka jozameM Aye ki eka lAkha rupayA ikaTThA kara eka bRhat zikSAsaMsthA sthApita karanA caahie| jozameM Akara sabane isa bAtakI pratijJA kI, para antameM kucha bhI nahIM huaa| dhIre-dhIre sabakA joza ThaNDA ho gyaa| kaTanImeM vidvatpariSad kuNDalapurase calakara kaTanI aaye| mArga viSama tathA jaMgalakA thA, ataH kucha kaSTa huaa| yahA~ eka mAsa rhe| vimAnajI the, jisase acchA samAroha huaa| bhAratavarSIya di. jaina vidvatpariSadkA prathama adhivezana huA, jisameM aneka vidvAna padhAre the| adhyakSa zrImAn paM. baMzIdharajI sAhaba the, jo ki apUrva pratibhAzAlI haiN| Apako dharmazAstrakA agAdha bodha hai| ApakI pravacanazailI atyanta rocaka hai| Apake vyAkhyAnakA janatApara apUrva prabhAva par3atA hai| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 378 vidvAnoMmeM zrI paM. kailAzacandrajI zAstrI pradhAnAdhyApaka syAdvAda vidyAlaya kAzI bhI the| ApakA vyAkhyAna bahuta hI marmasparzI aura itihAsakI gaveSaNApUrNa hotA hai| Apane acelaka dharmapara eka bahuta hI uttama pustaka likhI hai| zrImAn paM. mahendrakumAra jI nyAyAcArya bhI padhAre the, jo Ajakala sAhu zantiprasAdajI dvArA banArasameM sthApita bhAratIya jJAnapIThake pradhAna kAryakartA haiN| mathurAse paM. rAjendrakumArajI, jo ki digambara bhAratIya saMghameM maMtrI haiM, Aye the| Apake dvArA jainadharmakA kitanA vikAsa huA, yaha jainImAtra jAnate haiN| Apa bahuta hI karmaTha vyakti haiN| mathurAmeM saMghabhavana, sarasvatIsadana Adi Apake hI prayatnase nirmitta hue haiN| Apa zAstrArtha karanemeM atyanta kuzala haiM tathA saMgha-saMcAlana karanemeM ApakI bahuta khyAti hai| ApakA saMgha thor3e samaya meM di. jaina mahAsabhA aura di. jaina pariSadke samAna prakhyAta ho gyaa| sAgarase paM. dayAcandrajI sAhaba, jo ki jaina siddhAMtake acche vaktA haiM aura samasta dharmagrantha jinheM prAyaH kaNThastha haiM, Aye the| tathA banArasase paNDita phUlacandrajI siddhAntazAstrI bhI, jo ki karaNAnuyogake niSNAta aura marmajJa paNDita haiM, Aye the| Apa to vidvatpariSadke prANa hI haiN| yadi yaha pariSad paraspara premapUrvaka kArya karatI rahI, to isake dvArA samAjakA bahuta kalyANa ho sakatA hai aura jo 'maiM, tU' ke cakrameM par3a gaI to kyA hogA so bhaviSyake garbha meM haiN| yahA~ para tIna dina vidvatpariSadkI baiThakeM huI, dharmakI bahuta prabhAvanA huI tathA eka bAta navIna huI ki paNDita mahAzayoMne dila kholakara pariSada ke koSako sthAyI sampatti ikaTThI kara dii| AzA hai ki yadi yaha vidvadvarga isa taraha udAratA dikhAtA rahA to kucha samaya meM hI pariSad vAstavameM pariSad ho jaavegii| pariSadko acchI saphalatA milii| yadi koI doSa dekhA to yahI ki abhI parasparameM tiresaThapanAkI truTi hai| jisa dina yaha pUrNa ho jAvegI usa dina pariSad jo cAhegI, kara skegii| asambhava nahIM, parantu kAlakI AvazyakatA hai| isa zlokakI ora dhyAna denekI bhI AvazyakatA hai 'ayaM paro nijaH veti gaNanA laghucetasAm / udAracaritAnAM tu vasudhaiva kuTumbakam / / isameM ardha zloka to heya hai aura ardha grAhRA hai| AzA hai ye loga svayaM vivecaka haiM, zIghra hI ise apnaaveNge| jisa dina ina mahAzayoMne apanI pravRttimeM ise tanmaya banA liyA usa dina jagatkA uddhAra karanA koI kaThina kAma nahIM, For Personal & Private Use Only

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kaTanImeM vidvatpariSad 379 kyoki jagatakA uddhAra vahI kara sakatA hai jo apanA uddhAra kara le| anyathA sahasroM hue haiM aura hoNge| jaise hue vaise na hue| merI zraddhA hai ki jisa mahAnubhAvane jJAnake dvArA AtmIya kalyANa na kiyA usakA jJAna to bhArabhUta hI hai| andhekI lAlaTenake sadRza usa jJAnakA use koI lAbha nhiiN| merA aisA kahanA nahIM ki saba hI kI yaha pravRtti hai| bahutase mahAnubhAva aise bhI haiM ki sva-para kalyANake lie hI unakA jJAna hai, kintu jinakA na ho unheM isa ora lakSya denA ucita hai / astu, jo ho, ve loga jAneM, yA vIra prabhu jAneM, kintu mujhe to paNDitoMke samAgamase bahuta hI zAnti milI aura itanA vipula harSa huA ki isakI sImA nhiiN| he bhagavan ! jisa prAntameM sUtrapAThake liye dasa yA bIsa grAmameM koI eka vyakti milatA thA, vaha bhI zuddha pATha karanevAlA nahIM milatA thA, Aja unhI grAmoMmeM rAjavArtikAdi granthoMke vidvAn pAye jAte haiM, jahA~ guNasthAnoMke nAma jAnanevAle kaThinatAse pAye jAte the, Aja vahA~ jIvakANDa aura karmakANDake vidvAn pAye jAte haiN| jahA~ para pUjana-pAThakA zuddha uccAraNa karAnevAle na the Aja vahA~ paMcakalyANakake karAnevAle vidvAn pAye jAte haiN| jahA~para logoMko 'jainI nAstika hai' yaha sunaneko milatA thA Aja vahIMpara yaha zabda logoMke dvArA sunanemeM AtA hai ki jainadharma hI ahiMsAkA pratipAdana karanevAlA hai, isake binA jIvakA kalyANa durlabha hai| jahA~ para jainI parase vAda karanemeM bhayabhIta hote the Aja vahIM para jainiyoMke bAlaka paNDitoMse zAstrArtha karaneke liye taiyAra haiN| ityAdi vyavasthA dekhakara aisA kauna vyakti hogA jo AnandasAgarameM magna na ho jaave| Aja saba hI loga jainadharmakA astitva svIkAra karane lage haiN| sabhI matAvalambI isa dharmakA gaurava svIkRta karane lage haiN| isakA zreya ina vidvAnoMko hI to hai tathA sAtha hI hamAre dAnI mahAzayoMko bhI hai jinake ki dravyadAnase yaha maNDalI bana gii| kalpanA karo ki yadi zrI dhanyakumAra siMghaI aura sakala paMca isa samArohakI AyojanA na karate to yaha saubhAgya janatAko prApta hotA ? hama to janatAko bhI dhanyavAda dete haiM ki usane isa dRzyako dekhA yadi janatA na AtI to vyAkhyAnoMkA araNyarodana hotaa| apane adhikAroMkA sabane upayoga kiyaa| hIrA bahumUlya vastu hai, parantu suvarNa yadi use apane hRdayameM sthAna na de to usakI kyA mahimA ? motI uttama jAtike hoM, para yadi unheM sUtameM gumphila na kiyA jAveM to hAra saMjJA nahIM pA sakate / ityAdi kahA~ taka kahA jAve ? kaTanIkA yaha samAroha bahuta hI For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 380 prabhAvanAkAraka huaa| merI to yaha zraddhA hai ki yadi aise samAroha kiye jAveM to jainadharma kA anAyAsa pracAra ho jAve, kyoki svAmI samantabhadrane kahA hai ki - 'ajJAnatimiravyAptimapAkRtya ythaaythm| jinazAsanamAhAtmyaprakAzaH syaatprbhaavnaa|| vidvAnoMke sAtha hI kaI tyAgI mahAzaya bhI padhAre the, ataH unase bhI tyAgake mahattvakI prabhAvanA huI, kyoMki svAmI amRtacandra sUrine likhA hai ki 'AtmA prabhAvanIyo ratnatrayatejasA satatameva / __dAnatapojinapUjAvidyAtizayaizca jinadharmaH / ' vyAkhyAnoMkA acchA prabhAva rhaa| vyAkhyAnadAtAoMmeM paM. rAjendrakumArajI maMtrI bhAratIya jaina saMgha mathurA, paM. kailAzacandrajI siddhAntazAstrI kAzI, paM. jaganmohanalAlajI kaTanI, zrIyut karmAnandajI zAstrI sahAranupara jo ki pahale AryasamAjake diggaja evaM zAstrArthakezarI the tathA sAgara vidyAlayakI paMDitamaMDalI Adi pramukha the| hindI sAhityake prasiddha lekhaka zrIjainendrakumArajI kA bhI apUrva bhASaNa huaa| mathurAse saMghake sabhI vidvAn Aye the| ina mahAzayoMke dvArA lokottara prabhAvanA huI tathA dehalInivAsI sarva vidita paM. makkhanalAlajI kA bahuta hI saphala vyAkhyAna huaa| Apane kanyA-vidyAlaya ke liye dila hilAnevAlI apIla kI, jisameM cauMtIsa hajArakA candA ho gyaa| isa candAmeM kaTanI samAjane pUrNa udAratAkA paricaya diyaa| pandraha hajAra rupae to akele siM. dhanyamumArajI ne diye tathA zeSa rupaye kaTanI samAjake anya pramukha vyaktiyoMne diye, etadartha kaTanIsamAja dhanyavAdakA pAtra hai| isI avasarapara ku~vara nemicandrajI pATanI bhI, jo ki kisanagar3ha milake mainejara haiM, padhAre the| Apa bahuta hI sajjana aura vidvAn haiN| vidvAn hI nahI, saMsArase virakta haiN| Apake pitAkA nAma zrIseTha maganamallajI hai, jinakI AgarAmeM prakhyAta dhArmika seTha zrIbhAgacandrajIke sAjhemeM bar3I bhArI dukAna hai| zrIseTha hIrAlAlajI pATanI Apake cAcA haiM, jinhoMne kisanagar3hameM chaha lAkha rupayAkA dAna kiyA hai aura jisake dvArA vahA~kI saMsthAeM cala rahI haiN| Apa tIna dina rhe| Apake samAgamase bhI melAkI pUrNa zobhA rhii| sAgara tathA jabalapurase gaNyamAna vyakti bhI padhAre the| maiM zrIsiMghaI dhanyakumArajIke baMgalAmeM, jo ki gA~vase lagabhaga eka mIlapara eka ramaNIya udyAnameM hai, ThaharA thaa| ApakI mA~ bahuta hI sajjana haiN| For Personal & Private Use Only

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kaTanImeM vidvatpariSada 381 Apake do cacere bhAI haiN| paraspara prema bahuta hai| merA to isa kuTumbase cAlIsa varSase sambandha hai| inake dvArA sadA mere dharmasAdhanameM koI bAhRA truTi nahIM hone paatii| eka bAra jaba ye girirAjakI yAtrAke liye gaye taba maiM IsarImeM dharmasAdhana karatA thaa| ApakI mAtezvarIne merA nimantraNa kiyA aura antameM jaba bhojanakara maiM apane sthAnapara Ane lagA taba Apane bar3e Agrahake sAtha kahA ki AjIvana merA nimaMtraNa hai| maiMne bahuta kucha niSedha kiyA, parantu eka na clii| jaba maiMne dasamI pratimA le lI tabhI ApakA nimantraNa pUrNa huaa| yahA~ eka bAta aura ullekhanIya hai jise par3hakara manuSya bahutasI kalpanAe~ kreNge| bahutase yaha kaheMge ki varNIjIko caraNAnuyogakA kucha bhI bodha nahIM aura ise maiM svIkAra bhI karatA huuN| bahutase kaheMge dayAlu haiM aura bahutase kaheMge ki mAnake lipsu haiN| kucha bhI kaho, para bAta yaha hai-maiM bhojanakara bAgameM jA rahA thaa| bIcameM eka vRddhA zirake Upara ghAsakA gaTThA liye becane jA rahI thii| eka AdamIne usa ghAsakA sAr3he tIna AnA denA khaa| bur3hiyAne kahA-'cAra AnA leveNge|' vaha sAr3he tIna AnAse adhika nahIM detA thaa| mujhase na rahA gyaa| maine kahA-'bhAI ghAsa acchI hai, cAra AnA hI de do| becArI bur3hiyA khuza hokara calI gii| usake bAda sTezanake phATakapara AyA / vahA~para buDDhA brAhmaNa sattUkA loMdA banAye baiThA thaa| maine kahA-'bAbAjI sattU kyoM nahI khAte ?' vaha bolA-'bhaiyA pAnI nahIM haiN| maine kahA-'nalase le aao|' vaha kahane lagA-'nala banda ho gayA hai| maine kahA-'kUpase laao| vaha bolA-'DorI nahIM hai| maiMne kahA- 'usa tarapha nala khulA hogA, vahA~se le aao|' buDDhene kahA-'sattUko chor3akara kaise jAU~ ?' maiMne kahA-'maiM Apake sAmAnakI rakSA kruuNgaa| Apa sAnanda jaaiye| vaha usa pAra gayA, parantu vApisa Akara bolA ki vahA~ bhI pAnI nahIM milaa| maiMne kahA-'mere kamaNDalUmeM pAnI hai, jo svaccha hai aura Apake pIne yogya haiN|' usane prasannatApUrvaka jala le liyA aura AzIrvAda dekara kahane lagA ki 'yadi bhAratavarSameM yaha bhAva ho jAve to isakA utthAna anAyAsa hI ho jaave|' jaba melA pUrNa honeko AyA aura jaba maiM jabalapuravAloMke Agrahavaza kaTanIse calane lgaa| taba vahA~kI samAjako bahuta hI kSobha huA, parantu kyA kruuN| paMDita kastUracandrajI brahmacArIne, jo ki jabalapurake prasiddha paNDita hI nahIM, vaktA bhI hai, mujhe apane cakra meM pha~sA liyA, jisase mana na hone para bhI For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 382 kaTanIse prasthAna karanA pdd'aa| prasthAnake samaya bahutase bhAiyoMne vrata-niyama liye| jabalapurake sAthI jaba jabalapura pahuMcA taba sAthameM bra. cidAnandajI tathA bra. kSemasAgarajI the, jo ki aba kSullaka dazAmeM haiN| zrImAn paM. manoharalAlajI brahmacArI bhI the, jo ki dumadumA, riyAsata TIkamagar3hake nivAsI haiN| nyAyatIrtha tathA zolApurake zAstrI haiN| Apake do vivAha hue the| jaba dUsarI patnIkA svargavAsa ho gayA taba Apa saMsArase udAsa ho gye| Apane apane choTe bhAIke pAsa saba parigraha chor3akara kevala do hajAra rupayekA parigraha rakkhA / rakkhA avazya, parantu usase bhI nirantara udAsa rahane lage aura use bhI baruvAsAgarake pArzvanAtha vidyAlayameM dAna dekara tathA pA~ca sau rupayA zrI mUDabidrIkI yAtrAke liye rakha aSTamI pratimAke dhArI ho gye| ApakI pratibhA bahuta hI vizAla hai| ApakA pravacana bahuta rocaka hotA hai| zrotAgaNa gadgada ho jAte haiN| ApakA svabhAva zAnta hai| Apa mere sAtha jabalapurameM bahuta dina rahe / eka dina Apane kahA ki merA vicAra hai ki kucha paropakAra kruuN| isI samaya brahmacArI campAlAlajI bhI vahA~ the| ApakA mujhase bar3A sneha thaa| Apako jIvakANDa tathA svAmikArtikeyAnuprekSA prAyaH kaNThastha the| zAstra-pravacana bhI ghaNToM paryanta karate the| zrI manoharalAlajIse bhI ApakA pUrNa sneha thaa| Apa pahale indaurake udAsInAzramameM the| phira kucha dina IsarI bhI rhe| ina donoM mahAnubhAvoMke sivAya zrI bra. sumerucandrajI jagAdharIvAle bhI sAtha the| Apa bahuta hI virakta haiN| jAtike agravAla haiN| Apake do suputra haiN| lAkhoMkI sampatti unake pAsa chor3akara Apa tyAgI hue haiN| Apane apane parigrahameM eka makAna jisakA ki bhAr3A tIsa rupayA mAsika AtA hai tathA pA~ca hajAra nagada hI rakkhe haiN| Apako dharmase atyanta prema hai| nirantara svAdhyAyameM rata rahate haiN| ApakA bhI vicAra huA ki jIvanameM kucha paropakAra karanA caahiye| isa prakAra ye tInoM ratna jabalapurase prasthAna kara hastiAnapura gye| vahA~ Apa logoMne uttaraprAntameM dhArmika zikSAke prasArakI AvazyakatA batalAI, jise sunakara loga prabhAvita hue| vahA~se Apa loga sahAranapura gaye aura vahA~ zrIyuta nemicandrajI vakIla tathA unake bhAI ratnacandrajI mukhyAra sAhabake sahakArase lAlA jinezvaradAsajI ne dasa hajAra rupayA sthAyI tathA do sau rupayA mAsika denA svIkRta kiyaa| isI prakAra aura bhI bahutase logoMne For Personal & Private Use Only

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jabalapurameM gurukula 383 candA denA svIkAra kiyaa| jisake phalasvarUpa zrI gulAbabAgameM gurukula kI sthApanA ho gii| lAlA harizcandrajI, jo ki sahAranapurake hI rahanevAle haiM; isa gurukulakA saMcAlana karate haiN| Apa bar3e niHsvArtha tathA sevAbhAvI puruSa haiN| bAlabrahmacArI haiN| do varSa taka sAgara vidyAlaya meM bhI oNnanerI suparavAijarakA kAma kiyaa| Apake prabandhase sampUrNa chAtramaNDalI prasanna rahatI thii| Ajakala Apa SaTrasoMke tyAgI haiM tathA saba prakArake phaloMkA tyAga kara rakkhA hai| kevala anAja aura pAnI hI ApakA bhojana hai| phira bhI zakti kSINa nhiiN| Apa udAra bhI bahuta haiN| hajAroM rupaye kamAte haiM aura paropakArameM vyaya kara dete haiN| Apake saMcAlakatvameM sahAranapurakA gurukula acchI unnati kara rahA hai| mujhe vidyAyatana dekhakara bahuta harSa hotA hai| vAstavameM vidyA hI manuSyake kalyANakI jananI hai| aura khAsakara vaha vidyA jo ki svaparabheda-vijJAnakI utpAdikA hai| jabalapurameM gurukula jabalapurameM eka vizeSa bAta yaha huI ki vahA~ digambara jaina pariSadke adhivezanakA bhI Ayojana huaa| prAyaH ATha hajAra janatA ekatra ho gii| pariSadmeM itanA janasamudAya kabhI nahIM huA hogaa| sAhu zAntiprasAdajI usake adhyakSa the| solaha ghor3oMkI bagghImeM unakA svAgata kiyA gyaa| bahuta hI zAnadAra utsava huaa| samayakI paristhitike anusAra sudhAra bhI bahuta aMzomeM huaa| zrImatI lakSmI ramAdevI strIsamAjakI sabhAnetrI thiiN| Apake vicAra bhI strI samAjake sudhArake pakSameM hai| Apa pAzcAtya vidyAmeM grejueTa haiN| dhArmika bhAvanAe~ bhI ApakI uccatama haiN| pariSadkA kArya saba prakArase uttama rhaa| yoM to saMsArake kAryoM meM dRSTikoNakI apekSA kucha-na-kucha truTi rahatI hI hai| tIna dina bAda Apa DAlamiyAnagara ko prasthAna kara gye| Apa bahuta hI udAra prakRtike haiN| calate samaya mujhe pA~ca hajAra rupayA de gaye aura yaha kaha gaye ki Apako bAlakoMkI orase dAnake liye haiN| maiMne jabalapura paMcAyatase pravacanake samaya yaha nivedana kiyA ki yadi Apa dasa hajAra aura milA deveM to pandraha hajAra rupayAkA sthAyI phaNDa ho jAve aura usake byAjase eka paNDita sarvadA pravacanake liye raha jaaveN| logoMne saharSa svIkAratA de dI ora eka vidvAn bhI usa kArya ke liye rakha liyA gyaa| isa taraha jabalapurameM apUrva utsava ho gye| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 384 kucha dina bAda eka apUrva ghaTanA huI aura vaha hai sthAnIya samasta mandiroMkI eka sAmUhika saMgaThita vyavasthA / mujhe jahA~ taka vizvAsa hai ki aisI vyavasthA bhAratavarSameM jainamandiroMke dravyakI kahIM bhI nahI hai| vahA~para akasmAt paNDitA candAbAIjI, jo ki jaina samAjake prasiddha jIvoMmeMse haiM, pdhaarii| bAIjIke viSayameM yadyapi maiM pahale kucha likha cukA hU~, phira bhI unake jIvanakI vizeSatAe~ punaH kucha likhaneko prerita karatI haiN| isa samaya Apa mahilA samAjameM advitIya haiN| ApakA tyAga prazasta hai| Apa saptama pratimA pAlatI haiN| prativarSa eka mAsa kisI dharmatIrthapara jAtI haiM yA do mAsa munisamAgamameM rahatI haiN| maiM to jaba taka IsarI rahA taba taka prAyaH prativarSa do mAsa taka vahA~ rahatI rhiiN| eka do atithiyoMko bhojana dekara ApakA bhojana hotA hai| ApakA jo bAlA-vizrAma ArAmeM hai vaha sarva vidita hai| ApakA gharAnA atyanta prasiddha hai| vartamAnameM zrIyuta raIsa nirmalakumAra cakrezvarakumArajI prasiddha haiN| ye donoM ApakI jeThAnIke putra haiN| Apake jeTha svargIya bAbU devakumArajI the, jinakA ArAmeM bar3A bhArI sarasvatIbhavana hai| banArasameM prabhughATa para Apa hI ke mandirake nIce syAdvAda vidyAlaya hai, jisameM AcArya parIkSA taka paThana-pAThana hotA hai| do hajAra rupaye mAsikase adhika usakA vyaya hai| Aja taka usakA dhrauvya phaNDa eka lAkha bhI nahIM huaa| yaha hama logoMkI guNagrAhakatAkA paricaya hai| syAdvAda vidyAlayako jo makAna hai vaha vartamAna yugameM cAra lAkhameM bhI nahIM bnegaa| yaha bAta candAbAIke sambandhase A gii| hA~, to saubhAgyavaza ukta bAIjIkA jabalapurameM zubhAgamana huaa| jabalapurakI samAjane yogya rItise ApakA satkArAdi kiyA tathA zAstrapravacana sunaa| eka dina ApakA vyAkhyAna bhI huA, jisameM Apane mandiroMkI dravyaviSayaka vyavasthA para bahuta kucha khaa| ApakA vyAkhyAna itanA prabhAvaka rahA ki janatA umar3a pdd'ii| zrI paNDita rAjendrakumArajI mathurAne bhI isa viSayameM pahale bahuta koziza kI thii| prAyaH bIjAropaNa ho cukA thA, parantu zrI candAbAIjIke pravacanAmRta bhASaNase Aja vaha aMkurita ho gyaa| niyamAnusAra mantrI, koSAdhyakSa Adi saba adhikArI cune gye| isa prakAra yaha mahAn kArya kiyA to anya logoMne, para hamako phokaTameM yaza mila gyaa| cAturmAsa bar3I zAnti aura Anandase vyatIta huaa| isIke bIca yahA~ vidvatpariSadkA naimittika adhivezana bhI ho gayA, jisameM paM. baMzIdharajI, paM. For Personal & Private Use Only

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jabalapurameM gurukula devakInandanajI Adi aneka vidvAn mahAnubhAva padhAre the / satanAvAle svargIya dharmadAsajI eka vilakSaNa puruSa the / Apane mar3hiyAjIke mele para prastAva kiyA ki yahA~ para gurukula honA cAhiye aura usake lie dasa hajAra maiM svayaM dU~gA / phira kyA thA ? jabalapura samAjane eka lAkhakI pUrti kara dI / agahana mAsameM usakA utsava huA / paNDita varga AyA / sau rupayA mAsika zrI si. dharmadAsajIne diyA tathA anya logone bhI yathAzakti candA likhAyA, jisase tIna sau rupayA mAsikase adhika candA kArya cAlU karaneke liye ho gyaa| rahI gurukulake makAnakI bAta so usake liye paMcoMne yaha svIkAra kiyA ki mandiroMke dhanase pacAsa hajAra rupayA dekara gurukulakA bhavana banavA diyA jAve / nizcayAnusAra mar3hiyAjImeM makAnakA kArya prArambha ho gyaa| vahIM para zrI caudharI surakhIcandrajIne navIna mandira banavAnekA nizcaya kiyaa| bar3e samArohake sAtha vidhividhAna pUrvaka donoMkI nIMva bharanekA muhUrta huA / pacahattara hajAra rupayA to gurukulake bhavanameM laga cuke haiN| lagabhaga paccIsa hajAra rupayA aura lgeNge| isa prakAra jabalapurameM gurukulakA kArya calane lgaa| usameM isa samaya taiMtAlIsa chAtra zikSA pA rahe haiN| tIna paNDita, eka a~grejI mAsTara, do rasoiyA tathA eka caparAsI ityAdi karmacArI haiM / eka hajAra rupayA mAsika vyaya ho rahA hai| jabalapurakI janatA bahuta zraddhAlu hai, parantu yahA~ kAryakartA nahIM / yadi koI catura kAryakartA mile to yahA~ acche-acche kArya anAyAsa cala sakate haiM / maiM yahA~para do varSa rahA, dasa tyAgI rahe, aneka logoMkA AvAgamana rahA, para kisI prakAra kI truTi nahIM pAI gii| yahIM para brahmacArI khemacandra jIne kSullaka dIkSA lI, jo kSemasAgarake nAma se prasiddha haiN| jabalapura bar3A catura zahara hai / yahA~para prAyaH sabhI vidvAn Ate rahate haiM / vahA~kA rAjanaitika kSetra bhI acchA haiN| zrI seTha govindadAsajI, jo ki kendrIya asembalIke sadasya haiN| 1 ke haiN| Apa bahuta praur3ha paropakArI haiN| Apake karor3okI sampatti hai / ApakA vaibhava mahArAjAoMke sadRza hai phira bhI Apane dezahitake liye usa vaibhavakI kucha bhI paravAha nahIM kii| Apa dezahitake liye kaI bAra kArAgArake mehamAna hue aura Ajakala to dezahitake kAryameM Apake caubIsa ghaNTe jAte haiN| ApakA vyAkhyAna kaI bAra mahAvIra jayantIke samaya maine bhI sunA / bahuta acchA bolate haiN| ahiMsA dharmameM ApakI pUrNa zraddhA hai zrIyuta paM. dvArikAprasAdajI mizra bhI yahIMke haiM, jo ki Ajakala 385 For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 386 nAgapura prAntIya kauMsilake uccatama padapara haiN| Apa rAjanaitika vidvAn haiN| ApakI pratibhAke balase jabalapurameM sadA zAnti rahatI hai| Apa kevala rAjanItike hI paNDita nahIM haiM, uccakoTike sAhityakAra bhI haiN| Apane rAmAyaNake samAna kRSNAyana banAyA hai, jo eka advitIya pustaka hai| itanA hI nahIM, darzanazAstrameM bhI ApakA pUrNa praveza hai| eka bAra Apake sabhApatitvameM AjAda hinda phaujavAloMkI sahAyatA karane bAvata vyAkhyAna the, mujhe bhI vyAkhyAna kA avasara milA / yadyapi maiM to rAjakIya viSayameM kucha jAnatA nahIM, phira bhI merI bhAvanA thI ki he bhagavan ! dezakA saMkaTa ttaalo| jina logoMne dezahitake liye apanA sarvasva nyochAvara kiyA unake prANa saMkaTase bcaao| mai ApakA smaraNa sivAya kyA kara sakatA huuN| mere pAsa tyAga karaneko kucha dravya to nahIM hai, kevala do caddareM haiN| inameMse eka caddara mukadamekI pairavIke liye detA hU~ aura manase paramAtmAkA smaraNa karatA huA vizvAsa karatA hU~ ki yaha sainika avazya hI kArAgRhase mukta hoNge| ___maiM apanI bhAvanA prakaTa kara baiTha gayA / antameM vaha cAdara tIna hajArameM nIlAma huii| paNDita dvArakAprasAdajI isa prakaraNase bahuta hI prasanna hue| isa taraha jabalapurameM sAnanda kAla jAne lgaa| ___ zaharakA kolAhalapUrNa vAyumaNDala pasanda na Anese maiM mar3hiyAjImeM sukhapUrvaka rahane lgaa| gurukula bhI vahIM calA gyaa| indaurase bra. phUlacandrajI sogAnI aaye| Apane gurukulakI vyavasthA rakhaneMmeM bar3A parizrama kiyA, parantu antameM Apa cale gye| phira jamunAprasAdajI panAgaravAle suparinTenDenTa banAye gye| inakI dekharekha meM gurukulakI vyavasthA calane lgii| Ajakala paM. dayAcandrajI, jo pahale bInAmeM the, pradhAna adhyApaka haiM tathA paM. prakAzacandrajI, jo pahale bar3anagarameM the, suparinTenDenTa haiN| kAma acchA cala rahA hai| gurukulake adhiSThAtA zrImAn paNDita jaganmohanalAlajI hai| bra. manoharalAlajI tathA bra. campAlAlajI seThI bhI sahAranapurameM gurukulakI vyavasthA kara jabalapura vApisa lauTa aaye| Apa logoke kaI bAra pravacana hue, jinheM janatA rucipUrvaka zravaNa karatI thii| __ jabalapurase sAgara phira droNagiri jabalapurase citta UbA to kaTanI calA gyaa| yahA~ eka mAsa rhaa| vidvatpariSadke samaya jo 34000) kA dAna huA thA vaha saba vasUla ho gayA, For Personal & Private Use Only

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jabalapurase sAgara phira droNagiri 387 jisase vahA~kI saMsthAoMkI vyavasthA ThIka ho gyii| kaTanIse calakara vilerI AyA / yaha pahale bar3A bhArI nagara thA, para Ajakala ujAr3a ho gayA hai| yahA~para bahuta hI sundara prAcIna mandira, bAvar3I, tathA maTha hai| yahA~ bAbUlAlajI bahuta hI bhadra prakRtike manuSya haiN| vahI mujhe yahA~ laaye| do dina rhaa| Ama sabhA huii| zrI pannAlAlajI kAvyatIrtha bhI yahA~ para aaye| Apane bahuta hI rocaka bhASaNa diyA, jise zravaNakara hindU musalamAnoMmeM paraspara amiTa prema ho gyaa| yahA~se calakara sihorA pahu~cA / yahA~para eka mandira kevala pattharakA bahuta sundara banA huA hai| usameM saMgamarmarakI eka bahuta U~cI vedI banI hai| yahA~se gosalapura, phira panAgara aura pazcAt jabalapura A gyaa| tIna mAsa phira rhaa| gurukulakA jo rupayA lenA bAkI thA vaha eka dinameM A gyaa| yahA~para bahuta hI sukhapUrvaka dina gaye, parantu upayogakI caMcalatAne phira manako sthira nahIM rahane diyaa| yahA~se calakara pATana AyA aura pATanase konI kSetra aayaa| yaha atizaya kSetra hai| eka pahAr3akI talahaTImeM sundara mandira bane haiN| pAsa hI nadI bahatI hai| pATanase tIna cAra mIla hai| nadI pArakara jAnA par3atA hai| bahuta hI ramaNIka aura zAntiprada sthAna hai| melAkA samaya thaa| yahA~para do dina rhaa| isa varSa gata varSakI apekSA AdamI kama aaye| yadi samIpavartI loga acchA dhyAna deM to kSetrakI bahuta kucha unnati ho sakatI hai| yahA~se cha: sAta dina calakara damoha A gyaa| pA~ca dina tthhraa| logoMne sAdara rkkhaa| savA sau rupayA mAsika svAdhyAya mandirake liye candA ho gyaa| parantu vyavasthA kucha nahI ho skii| yadyapi seTha lAlacandrajI tathA seTha gulAbacandrajI yahA~para bahuta hI pratiSThita hai| parantu abhI ApakI dRSTi isa ora nhii| dhanya hai una mahAnubhAvoMko jinakA ki dravya paropakArameM vyaya hotA hai| yahA~ para seTha lAlacandrajIkI dharmapatnIke pariNAma ati nirmala haiN| parantu seThajI kI AjJAke binA una pariNAmoMke anusAra kArya karane meM asamartha haiN| jaba maiM vahA~se calane lagA taba vaha khojayakherI taka AIM aura bahuta hI viSAda prakaTa kiyaa| usakA antaraMga bhAva dAna karanekA hai| sambhava hai koI samaya pAkara usakI bhAvanA phalavatI ho jaave| ___ damohase calakara sadaguvA~ aaye| yahA~ rAtribhara nivAsa kara pathariyA A ge| do dina rhe| yahA~ DAkTara motIlAla jaina haiM aura zAhapuravAle pUrNacandrajI bhI rahate haiN| unake udyogase tIsa rupayA mAsika candA ho gayA aura eka For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 388 pAThazAlAkI vyavasthA hI gii| grAma acchA hai| yadi yahA~ke manuSya cAheM to pAThazAlAke liye kucha rupayA sthAyI ho sakate haiN| parantu hRdayakI udAratA nahIM hai| yahA~se calakara zAhapura A gyaa| yaha grAma to prasiddha hai aura isake viSayameM pahale bahuta kucha likha AyA huuN| yahA~ pA~ca dina rhe| abakI bAra yahA~ eka bAta apUrva huii| vaha yaha hai ki logoMke Upara vidyAlayakA jo rupayA bakAyA thA vaha eka ghaNTAmeM vasUla ho gayA aura kanyAzAlAke lie navIna candA ho gyaa| zAhapurase calakara par3ariyA grAma Aye / yahA~ para eka luharIsena kA ghara hai jo bahuta hI sajjana haiN| loga use pUjana karanese rokate haiN| bahuta vivAdake bAda use pUjanakI khulAsI kara dI gii| yahA~se calakara sAnaudA aaye| yahA~ sAta ATha ghara jainiyoM ke haiN| mandira khaparaila hai| kucha kahA gayA, jisase navIna mandira bananeke liye do hajAra rupayAke lagabhaga candA ho gyaa| yahA~ se calakara baheriyA A gye| eka jamIMdArakI dahalAnameM Thahara gye| yahA~ para sAgarase pacAsoM manuSya Aye, bahuta snehapUrvaka kucha dera rahe / anantara sAgara cale gye| hamane Anandase rAtri vyatIta kI aura prAtaHkAla calakara dasa baje sAgara pahu~ca gye| hajAroM manuSyoMkI bhIr3a thii| zaharakI pradhAna sar3akeM vandanamAlAoM aura toraNadvAroMse susajjita kI gaI thiiN| zAntinikuMjameM pA~ca cha: dina sukhapUrvaka rahakara yahA~se barakherA gye| jisa samaya sAgarase calane lage usa samaya nara-nAriyoMkA bahuta samAroha huaa| striyoMne rokanekA bahuta hI Agraha kiyaa| maine kahA-'yadi sAgara samAja mahilAzramake liye eka lAkha rupayA denekA vAyadA kareM to hama sAgara A sakate haiN|' strIsamAjane kahA ki 'hama Apake vacanakI pUrti kreNge| barakherA sAgarase cAra mIla hai| svargIya sighaI bAlacandrajI kA grAma hai| unake bhatIje siMghaI bAbUlAlajIne usa grAmakI acchI unnati kI hai| eka bar3hiyA ba~galA banavAyA hai| yahA~ eka dina Thahare aura yahIM bhojana kiyaa| yahA~se bhojana karaneke bAda karrApura cale gye| sAthameM zrImAn kSullaka kSemasAgarajI mahArAja va brahmacArI cidAnandajI the| yahA~para do dina rhe| pAThazAlAke liye do hajAra rupayAke lagabhaga sthAyI dravya ho gyaa| tathA eka bhAIne tIna sau AdamiyoMko bhojana kraayaa| yahA~se calakara baNDA A gye| Anandase do dina rhe| yahA~ svAdhyAya For Personal & Private Use Only

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jabalapurase sAgara phira droNagiri 389 kI acchI pravRtti hai| prAcIna grAma hai| tahasIla hai| sau ghara jainiyoMke haiN| parantu paraspara saumanasya nhiiN| eka auSadhAlaya hai, parantu sthAyI dravya nahIM hai| phira bhI mAsika candA acchA hai| yahA~ para jo vaidya haiM, bahuta yogya haiN| zrIyuta candramaulijI zAstrIke sambandhI haiN| yahA~se sAta mIla calakara dalapatapura A gye| do dina rahe / yahA~se cAra mIla calakara rurAvanake skUlameM rAtri bhara tthhre| yahA~se dasa mIla calakara eka nadIke taTa para Thahara gaye / yahA~para do caukA zAhagar3hase aura eka caukA dalapatapurase rAjakumArakA A gyaa| kSullaka mahArAjakA nirantarAya AhAra huaa| hama logoMkA bhI Anandase bhojana ho gyaa| bhojana karate samaya yaha bhAvanA huI ki Aja yadi digambara muniyoMkA AhAra hotA to mahAna puNyabandhakA nimitta thaa| yahA~ bhojanake bAda sAmAyika kI aura phira vahA~se calakara zAhagar3ha pahu~ca gye| yaha prAcIna nagara hai| pahale yahA~ para kSatriyoMkA rAjya thaa| bahutase bhagnAvazeSa aba taka pAye jAte haiN| yahA~ para tIna jaina mandira haiM- do zikharavAle aura eka gujarAtI hai| pacAsa ghara jainiyoMke hoMge, jo prAyaH sampanna haiN| siMghaI kizanaprasAdajI kaI lAkhake dhanika haiN| namra aura yogya haiM, parantu dravyake anurUpa dAna nahIM krte| yadi Apa cAheM to eka saMsthA svayaM calA sakate haiN| parantu usa ora dRSTi nhiiN| dUsarA gharAnA seThoMkA hai| bahorelAla seTha bahuta vRddha haiM, phira bhI zarIra itanA baliSTha hai ki yadi acche AdamIkA hAtha pakar3a leM to use chur3AnA kaThina ho jaave| Apako supArI khAnekA bar3A vyasana hai| aba to vRddha hai, parantu yuvAvasthA meM dasa tolA supArI khAnA Apako kaThina bAta nahI thii| Apa jaba purAnI bAteM sunAte haiM taba loga Azcarya meM par3a jAte haiN| purAne samayameM eka rupayekA jitanA ghI milatA thA aba eka rupayekA utanA bhUsA milatA hai| unakI bAta chor3iye, merI bAlyAvasthAmeM eka rupayeMkA jitanA ghI AtA thA utanA aba cAvala nahIM miltaa| astu, dUsare seTha pyArelAlajI haiN| yaha navayuvaka haiN| vidyAke premI haiN| yadi isake pAsa dravya puSkala hotI to ekAkI vidyAlaya claate| yahA~ eka bhUre jaina rahatA hai jo bahuta yogya vyakti hai| caubIsa ghaNTe vaiyAvRtyameM tatpara rahatA hai| nirlobha bahuta hai| garIboMkI sahAyatAkA bhI isakA pariNAma rahatA hai| sadAcArI hai| yahA~para tIna dina rhe| yahA~se sAtamIla calakara hIrApura aaye| yahA~para jainiyoMke pandraha ghara haiN| yahA~kA mandira bahuta hI manojJa hai| do khaNDavAlI eka dharmazAlA hai, jisameM sau AdamI Thahara sakate haiN| yahA~para logomeM paraspara prema nhiiN| yahA~ se calakara daraguvA~ Aye / yahI bAbA cidAnandajIkI janmabhUmi hai| eka dina For Personal & Private Use Only

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390 merI jIvanagAthA rahe / yahA~se tIna mIla calakara sar3avA Aye | satIzacandrake yahA~ bhojana huaa| yahA~se pA~ca mIla calakara droNagiri kSetrapara pahu~ca gye| malaharAke chAtroMne svAgata kiyaa| chAtroMmeM ci. bihArIlAla aura lakSmaNaprasAda nAmaka do chAtra bahuta hI suzIla aura honahAra dikhe / sAthameM paM. mohanalAlajI pradhAnAdhyApaka gurukula malaharA aura paM gorelAlajI pradhAnAdhyApaka pAThazAlA droNagiri the / sAgarameM zikSaNa-zivira melA kA samaya thA, ataH siMghaI kundanalAlajI tathA bAlacandrajI malaiyA pahalese hI maujUda the| sAgarase vizeSa janatA nahIM AI thI / malaharAse siMghaI vRndAvanadAsajI nahIM A sake, isase mere manameM kucha azAnti rahI / isa prAntameM yaha AdamI bahuta hI nipuNa hai / dAna denemeM zUra hai| yahA~ para unakA banavAyA eka sarasvatIbhavana hai / apane jIvanameM unhoMne eka gajaratha bhI calAyA hai, parantu sAthameM yaha bAta hai ki mAmUlI AdamIke bahakAve meM nahIM Ate, isaliye loga unase prema nahIM krte| Apake do suputra haiN| malaharAse zrI modI bAlacandrajIke suputra zrI bAbUlAlajI bhI Aye jo ki bahuta hI suyogya vyakti aura saMsthAke zubhacintaka haiM, ataH Apa droNaprAntIya jaina gurukulamalaharA aura pAThazAlA droNagirike upamantrI cune gaye / sa. siM. sonelAlajIke suputra zrI javAharalAlajI bhI Aye, jo ki bahuta hI yogya samAja-sevaka haiN| meleke samaya kSetra aura pAThazAlAke kAryoMke sivAya inhoMne melekI vyavasthAmeM bhI pUrNa sahayoga diyA / ghuvArAse bahuta janatA AI / vaidyaratna siMghaI dAmodaradAsajI vaidya bhI Aye, jo ki bahuta catura aura kavi haiN| AsapAsa kI janatAkI upasthiti acchI thii| dUsare dina pAThazAlAkA vArSikotsava huA / kSullaka kSemasAgarajIkA kezaloMca huaa| anantara zrI bAlacandrajI malaiyAne, jo ki zikSA vibhAgake maMtrI haiM, pAThazAlAkI riporTa sunAI tathA pAThazAlAkI rakSAke lie apIlakI / maine samarthana kiyaa| dasa hajAra eka rupayA zrI siMghaI kundanalAlajIne ekadama pradAna kiyA tathA itanA hI zrIbAlacandrajI malaiyAne diyA / siMghaI vRndAvanajIke na hone para bhI unake suputrane do hajAra khaa| maiMne kahA pA~ca hajAra kaha diijiye| usane ha~sakara svIkAratA dii| isake bAda pA~ca sau eka rupayA sa. si. dAmodaradAsa jI ghuvArAvAloMne diye tathA phuTakara candA bhI tIna hajAra rupayAke lagabhaga ho gyaa| pazcAt sandhyA samaya sannikaTa honese yaha kArya sthagita ho gyaa| antameM rAtri A gii| zAstra - pravacana paNDita gorelAlajIkA huA, jo ki 1 For Personal & Private Use Only

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sAgarameM zikSaNa-zivira 391 bahuta uttama rhaa| melA vighaTa gyaa| saba manuSya apane-apane ghara cale gye| hama, brahmacArI cidAnandajI tathA zrI kSemasogajI kSullaka satapArA, jo ki droNagirise eka mIla hai, zrI hIrAlAla pujArIke sAtha, aaye| yaha grAma acchA hai| yahIM para mere mAmA rahate the| grAmavAloMne bar3e hAva-bhAvase rakkhA / droNagiri pAThazAlAke liye sau rupayAke andAja candA ho gyaa| yahA~se se chaha mIla calakara bhagavA~ aaye| yahA~para do divasa rhe| grAma acchA hai| tahasIla hai| yahA~ para jo tahasIladAra haiM vaha bahuta hI yogya haiN| unhoMne bar3e prabhAvake sAtha pAThazAlAkA candA krvaayaa| do hajAra rupayA ho gyaa| itanI AzA na thI, parantu logoMne zaktiko ulaMgha kara dAna diyaa| isa candAke honemeM vilamba nahIM lgaa| yahA~se calakara gorakhapurA aaye| yahA~ bhI grAmINa pAThazAlAko eka sau rupayA ke karIba candA ho gyaa| yahA~se calakara ghuvArA aaye| yaha grAma bahuta bar3A hai| yahA~para kaI sarovara haiN| tIsa ghara jainiyoMke hoNge| pA~ca mandira haiN| yahA~para eka mUrti bahuta hI manojJa hai jo eka hajAra varSa pahalekI hogii| prAyaH yahA~ke sabhI jainI sampanna haiN| sabakI dharmameM ruci haiN| zrI mahAvIra jayantIkA utsava bar3I dhUmadhAmase manAyA gyaa| pAThazAlAke lie apIla kI gii| tIna hajAra rupayAke andAja candA ho gyaa| tIsa rupayA mAsikakA paNDita bulAne kI vyavasthA huii| yahA~ manuSya bahuta vivekI aura sAkSara haiN| sa. siM. paNDita dAmodaradAsajI bahuta suyogya haiN| ApakA jyotiSa vidyAmeM bhI acchA praveza hai| yahA~ para tIna dina rhe| yahA~se bhoyarA grAma Aye, para eka dina rahe / yahA~ eka mahAzayane yahA~ taka bhAva dikhAye ki yadi koI paNDita mahAzaya Ave to maiM unake bhojanakA kharca aura dasa rupayA mAsika ,gaa| yahA~se calakara phira droNagiri aage| droNagirise dhanaguvA~ aaye| yaha acchA grAma hai| isa grAmake hI kAvyatIrtha, sAhityazAstrI paM. lakSmaNaprasAda 'prazAMta' hai| jo ki eka acche pratibhAzAlI kavi haiM aura Ajakala sAgara vidyAlayameM adhyApaka haiN| yahA~se calakara daraguvA~ aaye| eka dina rahe / eka pAThazAlA sthApita ho gii| yahA~ se calakara hIrApura aagye| yahA~ para do dina rahe / pA~casau rupayAkA candA pAThazAlAko ho gyaa| grAma bahuta acchA hai| yahA~kI pAThazAlAke liye, zrIyuta prazamamUrti patAsIbAIjIke prayatnase girIDIha jilA hajArIbAga kI strIsamAjane dasa sau assI rupayA bhijavAye, jisase cAlIsa rupayA mAsikakA vidvAn par3hAneke liye A gyaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 392 yahA~se cAra mIla calakara tigor3A grAma A gye| yahA~ke manuSyoMmeM paraspara cAlIsa varSase vaimanasya cala rahA thaa| vaha zAnta ho gayA aura pAThazAlAke liye do hajArase adhikakA candA ho gyaa| pAThazAlA bhI prArambha ho gii| yahA~ para eka siMghainajI haiM, jo bahuta varSoM se pRthak thiiN| inake pati siMghaI hajArIlAlajI bahuta pratApI the| kaI varSa hue, taba ApakA svargavAsa ho gyaa| unakI dharma-patnI siMdhainane bhI apane gharakI samyak rakSA kI, parantu jAtise sambandha na rkkhaa| Aja unakA bhI citta jAtise sambandha karanekA ho gayA, paMcoMne use saharSa svIkAra kiyaa| siMdhainakI Ayu sattara varSakI hai, parantu hRdayakI nirmala nhiiN| ekAkI haiM, ataeva svatantra haiN| svatantratA hI bAdhaka hai| mokSamArgameM pravRtti karanevAle jo mahApurUSa haiM ve bhI jaba AcAryoMkI AjJAnusAra pravRtti karate haiM, taba gRhasthoMko to kisI-na-kisI mahApuruSake adhIna rahanA ucita hI hai| Ajakala jainiyoMmeM manuSya svatantra ho gaye haiN| kisIke adhIna nahIM rahanA caahte| isIse inake AcaraNa malIna ho gaye haiN| jainiyoMmeM sabase mukhya pahale . pAnI chAnakara pIte the, devadarzanakA niyama rakhate the, rAtribhojana nahIM karate the| parantu aba yaha saba vyavahAra chUTatA jAtA hai| nAnA kutarka kara loga zithila pakSakA poSaNa karate haiN| nabbe phIsadI abhakSya bhojana karane lage haiN| saumeM nabbe AdamI aspatAlakI auSadha sevana karate haiN| bAjArakI miThAI, pAna tathA soDAvATara to sAdhAraNa bAta ho gaI hai| veSa-bhUSA prAyaH ekadama badala gayI hai| strIvarga itanA sukumAra prakRtikA bana gayA hai ki hAthase pIsanA kuTanA pApa samajhatA hai| zaharoMmeM to isakI prazaMsA samajhI jAtI hai ki strI hAthase pIse nahIM, kevala UparI svacchatAkA dhyAna rakkhe tathA vastroMko pratidina sAbuna lagAkara svaccha rakkhe, panacakkIkA ATA pisAve, pAnI Adi svayaM na lAve / kahA~ taka likheM, saba AcAroMkI bhraSTatAkA mUla kAraNa pramAda hai, jise zaharavAloMne apanA liyA hai| jahA~ pramAda hai vahA~ kuzala kAryoM meM sutarAM anAdara hotA hai aura yahI prANiyoM ke akalyANako poSaNa karanevAlA hai| astu, jo honA hai vaha anivArya hai| yahA~se calakara mar3adevarA aaye| yahA~ eka pAThazAlA hai| bAbA cidAnandIkI mA~ kA yahIM nivAsa hai| yahA~se cAra mIla calakara zAhagar3ha A gye| yahA~ tIna dina rhe| pAThazAlA ke liye lagabhaga do hajAra rupayoMkA candA ho gyaa| yahA~ para maMgalI siMghaI bahuta catura the| yahA~para sAgarase seTha bhagavAnadAsajI bIr3IvAle, For Personal & Private Use Only

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sAgarameM zikSaNa-zivira 393 zrImunnAlAlajI vaizAkhiyA tathA paM. munnAlAlajI samagaurayA moTarase Aye aura yaha nizcaya karake gaye ki sAgarame vidvatpariSadkI orase jo zikSaNa-zivira cala rahA hai usameM Apa avazya pdhaareN| maiMne bhI jAnekA nizcaya kara liyA, kyoki maiM svabhAvataH vidvAnoMke samAgamakA premI huuN| zAhagar3hase calakara pA~ca mIlapara eka grAmameM raha gye| garmIke dina the, ataH bahuta garmI par3atI thii| dopaharako bar3I becainI rhii| rAtriko kucha nidrA aaii| yahA~se cha: mIla calakara koTake grAma aaye| sAnanda dina biitaa| yahA~para bhI bahuta garmI thii| yahA~se prAtaHkAla calakara rurAvana A gye| yahIMpara bhojana huaa| pazcAt calakara dalapatapura A gye| yahA~para siMghaI rAjakumArake yahA~ bhojana kiyaa| yahA~ pAThazAlAke lie paccIsa sau rupayA ke andAja candA ho gyaa| eka mahAzayane pandraha sau rupayA diye| yahIM para paM. baMzIdharajI siddhAntazAstrI indauravAle Aye the| Apake samAgamase citta prasanna huaa| Apake sAtha siMghaI DAlacandrajI sAgara bhI the| yahIMpara kAntilAlajI nAgapuravAle Aye the| Apa paidala Aye the| usa samaya Apa relaveke sivAya anya kisI vAhanapara nahIM baiThate the aura aba to vaha bhI chor3a dI hai| Apako jainadharmakI akATya zraddhA hai| yahA~se calakara hama loga bIcameM Thaharate hue sAgara A gye| pahalekI bhA~ti aneka mahAzaya gAje-bAjeke sAtha leneke lie do mIla dUra taka aaye| sAgarameM zikSaNa-zivira cala rahA thA, jisameM paM. kailAzacandrajI zAstrI banArasa, paM. mahendrakumArajI nyAyAcArya banArasa, paM. rAjendrakumArajI mathurA, jyotiSAcArya paM. nemicandrajI ArA, siddhAntazAstrI paM. phUlacandrajI banArasa, paM. devakInandanajI vyAkhyAnavAcaspati indaura Adi aneka vidvAn padhAre the| paM. vaMzIdharajI sAhaba bhI padhAre the| para ve kAryavaza mere sAgara Aneke pUrva hI indaura cale gaye the| prAtaHkAla sAmUhika vyAyAma hotA thaa| phira snAna tathA pUjanake bAda zAstrapravacana hotA thA, jisameM Agata vidvAnoMke sivAya nagarake samasta pratiSThita puruSa sammilita hote the| madhyAhnoparAnta zikSaNapaddhatikI zikSA dI jAtI thii| rAtriko tattvacarcA tathA vyAkhyAnasabhA hotI thii| zikSaNazivira eka mAha taka cAlU rahA, jisakI pUrNa vyavasthA pannAlAlajI sAhityAcAryane bar3I tatparatAke sAtha kI thii| maiM antakAlameM pahuMcA thaa| mere samakSa cAra dina hI zikSaNazivirakA kAryakrama claa| inhI cAra dinoMmeM vidvatpariSadakI kAryakAriNIkI baiThaka huii| 'saMjada' padakI carcA huI, jisameM zrI paM. phUlacandrajI siddhAntazAstrIkA terAnaveM For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 394 sUtrameM 'saMjada' padakI AvazyakatApara mArmika bhASaNa huA aura unhoMne sabakI zaMkAoMkA samAdhAna bhI kiyaa| isameM zrI paM. varddhamAnajI solApurane acchA bhAga liyA thaa| antameM saba vidvAnoMne milakara nirNaya diyA ki dhavala siddhAnta terAnaveM sUtrameM 'saMjada' padakA honA Avazyaka haiN| jaba zikSaNazivirakA antima dina AyA taba sAgara samAjane sAdara svAgata kara samasta vidvAnoMkA AbhAra mAnA aura yaha bhAvanA prakaTa kI ki phira bhI hama logoMke aise saubhAgya udayameM AveM, jisase Apa logoMkA samAgama punaH prApta ho / antima dina rAtrike samaya kaTarA bAjArameM AmasabhA huI, jisameM Agata vidvAnoMke sAragarbhita bhASaNa hue| dUsare hI dina bAharake vidvAn apane-apane sthAnoM para cale gye| eka mAha taka eka sAtha rahaneke kAraNa unameM paraspara jo sauhArda utpanna ho gayA thA usake phalasvarUpa sabake hRdaya bichur3aneke samaya gadgad the| sAgarameM sara seTha hukumacandrajIkA zubhAgamana 18jUna san 1646 kI rAtriko moTara dvArA zrImAn rAjyamAnya, saba vibhavasampanna sara seTha hukumacandrajIkA zubhAgamana huaa| Apake sAtha zrImAn bra. pyArelAlajI bhagata, paM. devakInandanajI, paM. baMzIdharajI, paM. jIvandharajI tathA anya tyAgI mahAzaya bhI the| sabhI atithi svAgatake sAtha varNI bhavanameM ThaharAye gye| 16 jUnako prAtaHkAla jaba maiM zAntiniku~jase vidyAlayameM AyA taba seThajI sAhaba bar3I prasannatAse mile va nizcita kAryakramake anusAra Aja zAstra-pravacana bhI caudharanabAIke mandirameM huaa| mandira sthAnIya jaina janatAse khUba bharA huA thaa| pravacanakA grantha samayasAra thaa| maiMne 'sudaparicidANubhUdA savvassa vi kAma-bhogabandhakahA' isa gAthApara pravacana kiyaa| pravacana cala hI rahA thA ki seThajI bIcameM bola uThe-'mahArAja ! mujhe pravacana sunakara apAra Ananda huA hai| sAgarakI janatA bar3I bhAgyazAlI hai, jo nirantara aise pravacana sunA karatI hai| maiM pahale maya bAla-baccoMke AnevAlA thA, para gharameM tabiyata kharAba ho jAnese nahIM A skaa| Apa eka bAra indaura avazya padhAreM / ' maiMne sarala bhAvase uttara diyA ki isa varSa to samaya thor3A raha gayA hai, AgAmIke lie bhagatajIke sAtha carcA karake kahU~gA, para maiM Apase eka aisA kAma karAnA cAhatA hU~ jo Ajataka kisIne na kiyA ho| paM. devakInandanajIne kahA ki 'jJAna aura arthakA saMyoga to hone dIjie, saba kucha ho jaayegaa| isa para seThajI tathA samasta janatA ha~sa pdd'ii| aparAhnameM goSThI huI, jisameM paM. dayAcandajI, paM. baMzIdharajI, paM. devakInandanajI, paM. jIvandhara jI Adike mukhase apUrva tattvacarcA huii| For Personal & Private Use Only

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sAgarameM sara seTha hukumacandrajIkA zubhAgamana 395 'Aja sara seTha sAhabakI pacahattaravIM janma-gA~Tha hai' yaha jAnakara sAgarakI janatAmeM apUrva Ananda chA gyaa| lAuDaspIkarake dvArA samasta nagarameM janmagA~Thake utsavakI ghoSaNA kI gii| phalasvarUpa ATha bajate bajate vidyAlayake prAMgaNameM kaI hajArakI bhIr3a upasthita ho gii| zrI bhagatajI kI adhyakSatAmeM utsavakA kAryakrama zurU huaa| jisameM samAgata evaM sthAnIya vidvAnoMne seThajI ke guNoMpara prakAza DAlate hue Apake prati maMgalakAmanA kii| seThajIne apanI laghutA batalAte hue sArapUrNa vaktavya diyA aura antameM yaha prakaTa kiyA ki 'maiM paccIsa hajAra rupayAkI rakama varNIjIkI icchAnusAra dAnake lie nikAlatA huuN|' seThajIkI isa dAnazIlatAkI pratyeka nAgarika prazaMsA kara rahA thaa| 20 jUnako prAtaHkAla punaH usI mandirameM zAstrapravacana huaa| Aja kalakI apekSA adhika bhIr3a thii| aparAhnameM tIna bajese gata dinakI taraha punaH tattvacarcAkA kArya prArambha huaa| prAyaH sabhI vidvAnoMko dasa-dasa minaTakA samaya dekara tattvakA yathArtha svarUpa pratipAdana karanekI vyavasthAkI gaI thii| kitanI hI azrutapUrva zailiyoke dvArA tattvakA pratipAdana huaa| seThajI ghar3I para dRSTi DAle hue samayakI sundara vyavasthA banAye hue the| dasa minaTa hue nahIM ki seThajIne vaktAko saceta kara diyaa| Aja hI rAtrike ATha bajese seThajIke sammAnake liye kaTarA bAjArameM Ama sabhA bulAI gaI thii| seThajI eka bar3e julUsake sAtha sabhAsthAna para lAye gye| zrImAn malaiyA zivaprasAdajIkI adhyakSatAmeM sabhAkA kAryakrama zurU huaa| prathama hI paM. pannAlAlajIne saMskRtake sundara padyoM dvArA seThajI tathA Agantuka brahmacAriyoM evaM vidvAnoMkA abhinandana kiyaa| anantara munnAlAlajI samagaurayAne seThajIke jIvanapara prakAza ddaalaa| phira jaina samAja tathA sthAnIya saMsthAoMkI orase mAnapatra samarpita kie ge| zrI bhaiyAlAla sarrApha vakIla tathA maulavI cirAguddIna sAhabane seThajI ke viSayameM ajaina janatAkI orase paryApta sammAna prakaTa kiyaa| anantara mAnapatroMke uttarameM seThajIne apanI laghutA batalAte hue sthAnIya saMsthAoMke lie paccIsa sau rupaeke dAnakI aura bhI ghoSaNA kii| 21 jUna ko prAtaHkAla mandirameM pahu~cate hI maiMne sAgara samAjase kahA ki 'yadi Apa loga seThajIke paccIsa hajAra rupayA apane vidyAlayako cAhate ho to apane paccIsa hajAra rupayA aura milAiye, anyathA maiM prAntakI anya saMsthAoMko vitaraNa kara duuNgaa|' sunate hI sAgara samAjane candA likhAnA zurU kara diyA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 396 jisase lagabhaga 3/4 rakama usI samaya bharI gii| Aja seThajIkA bhI bhASaNa huaa| Apane kahA ki 'dAnakA dravya kabhI vyartha nahIM jaataa| maiMne apane jIvanameM aneka bAra anubhava kara dekhA hai| Apa Aja hI eka baje dinako apane samasta sAthiyoMke sAtha indaurake lie prasthAna kara gye| jAte samaya sAgara samAjane hAra, mAlA Adise ApakA satkAra kiyaa| isa prakAra tIna dina taka Apake zubhAgamanase sAgarameM kAphI cahala-pahala rhii| ApakA paricaya maiM kyA likhU, saba jaina samAja Apase paricita hai| para itanA avazya likhanA cAhatA hU~ ki Apa pratidina prAtaHkAla do ghaNTA tattvacarcA karate haiM aura usameM zrImAn paM. baMzIdharajI siddhAntaziromaNi, zrImAn paM. devakInandanajI vyAkhyAna vAcaspati, nyAyake mArmika paNDita jIvandharajI tathA zrImAn tyAgI paramavivekI pyArelAlajI bhagata Adi tyAgIvarga sammilita rahate haiN| isa samaya yadi jaina jAti ke dhanADhya mahodaya ApakA anusaraNa kareM to jaina dharmakA anAyAsa vikAsa ho jaave| sAgarase prasthAna cAturmAsakA samaya nikaTa thA / ataH maiM sAgarameM hI raha gyaa| Anandase varSAkAla bItA / bhAdramAsameM logoMkA samudAya acchA rahatA thaa| kisI prakArakI cintA manuSyoMko nahIM thI, kyoki candA mA~ganekA prayAsa nahI kiyA gayA thaa| yaha kaI bAra anubhava kara dekhA gayA hai ki jahA~ candA mA~gA vahA~ samasta kalAoMkA anAdara ho jAtA hai| yadyapi dravya parapadArtha hai, isake tyAganekA jo upadeza detA hai vaha paramopakArI haiN| dravyakA jo lobha hai vaha mUrchA hai, jo mUrchA hai vaha parigraha hai aura parigraha hI saba pApoM kI jar3a hai, kyoki bAhRA parigraha hI antaraMga mUrchAkA janaka hai| aura antaraMga parigraha hI saMsArakA kAraNa hai, kyoMki antaraMga binA bAhya padArthoM kA grahaNa nahIM hotaa| yahI kAraNa hai ki bhagavAnne mithyAttva, veda, rAga, hAsyAdi SaT aura cAra kaSAya inheM hI parigraha mAnA hai| jaba taka inakA sadbhAva hai taba taka hI yaha jIva paravastuko grahaNa karatA hai| isameM sabase prabala parigraha mithyAtva hai| isake sadbhAvameM hI zeSa parigraha baliSTha rahate haiN| jaise ki mAlikake sadbhAvameM kUkara balazAlI rahatA hai| itanA balazAlI ke siMha para bhI TUTa par3atA hai| parantu mAlikake abhAvameM eka lAThIse palAyamAna ho jAtA hai, ataH jinheM AtmakalyANakI abhilASA hai unheM dravya tyAgakA upadeza denevAloM ko apanA parama hitaiSI For Personal & Private Use Only

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sAgarase prasthAna 397 mAnanA caahiye| nItikA vAkya bhI hai ki 'tanmiMtra yannivatayati pApat' arthAt mitra vahI hai jo pApase nivRtta kre| vicAra kara dekhA jAve to lobha hI pApakA pitA hai| usase jisane mukti dilAI usase uttama hitaiSI saMsAra meM anya kauna ho sakatA hai ? parantu yahA~ to lobhako guru mAnakara hama loga usakA Adara karate haiN| jo lobha-tyAga kA upadeza detA hai, usase bolanA bhI pApa samajhate haiM, tathA usakA anAdara karanemeM bhI saMkoca nahIM krte| jI hA~, yaha saMsAra hai| isameM nAnA prakAra ke jIvoMkA nivAsa hai| kaSAyodayameM nAnA prakAra kI ceSTAe~ hotI haiN| jina mahAnubhAvoMke una kaSAyoMkA abhAva ho jAtA hai ve saMsAra samudrase pAra ho jAte haiN| hama to kaSAyoMke sadabhAvase yahI UhApoha karate rahate haiM aura yahI karate karate eka dina sabhIkI AyukA avasAna ho jAtA hai| anantara jisa paryAyameM jAte haiM usIke anukUla pariNAma ho jAte haiN| 'gaMgAmeM gaMgAdAsa aura jamunAmeM jamunAdAsa' kI kahAvata caritArtha karate hae ananta saMsAra kI yAtanAoMke pAtra hokara paribhramaNa karate rahate haiN| isI paribhramaNakA mUla kAraNa hamArI hI ajJAnatA hai| hama nimittakAraNako saMsAra-cirabhramaNakA kAraNa mAnakara sA~pakI lakIra pITate haiM, ataH jina jIvoMkA svAtmahita karanA iSTa haiM unheM Atmanihita ajJAnatAko pRthak karanekA sarva prathama prayAsa karanA caahiye| unheM yahI zreyomArgakI prAptikA upAya hai| kSamAvANIke dina vidyAlayake prAMgaNameM zrIjinendradevake kalazAbhiSeka kA Ayojana huaa| sthAnIya samAjakI upasthiti acchI thii| mahilAzramake liye kucha logoMne dAna denA svIkRta kiyaa| usake bAda Azvina vadI cauthako merI jayantIkA utsava logoMne kiyaa| usI dina zrI kSullaka kSemasAgarajI aura zrI kSullaka pUrNacandrajIke kezaloMca hue| donoM hI mahAzayoMne ghAsakI taraha apane keza ukhAr3a kara pheMka diye| dekhakara logoM ke hRdaya gadgada ho gye| anantara zrI seTha bhagavAnadAsajI bIr3IvAloMkI adhyakSatAmeM sabhA huI jisameM aneka vidvAnoMke bhASaNa hue| isI samaya siMdhaina phUlAbAIne eka hajAra rupayA vidyAlayako aura eka hajAra rupayA mahilAzramako diye| yaha svargIya siMghaI zivaprasAdajIkI vidhavA putravadhU haiN| isane apanI prAyaH sArI sampatti tathA makAna mahilAzramako pahale hI dAna kara diyA thaa| dharmasAdhana karatI huI jIvana vyatIta karatI hai| siMghaI revArAmajIne bhI mahilAzramako pA~ca hajAra rupayA denA svIkRta kiyaa| isake pahale Apa apanI sampattikA bahubhAga mahilAzramako For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 398 pradAna kara cuke the tathA usIse usa saMsthAkA janma huA thaa| ___ isa prakAra sAgarameM bar3I hI zAntimeM dina gye| yadyapi vahA~ hameM saba prakAra kI suvidhA milI, to bhI vahA~ se jAnekI bhAvanA utpanna ho gaI aura usakA kAraNa yaha rahA ki vahA~ke logoMse ghaniSTha sambandha ho gyaa| kuTumbavat sneha bar3hane lagA, jo ki tyAgIke lie bAdhaka hai| bhojana ke viSayameM logo ne maryAdA kA atikramaNa karake bhI saMtoSa nahI liyaa| hama bhI unake cakrameM Ate gye| antatogatvA yahI bhAvanA manameM AI ki aba sAgarase prasthAna karanA caahie| prasthAnake virodhI zrI munnAlAlajI vaizAkhiyA, seTha bhagavAnadAsajI tathA siMghaI kundanalAlajI Adi bahuta sajjanagaNa the| strI-samAja sabase adhika virodhI thii| yahA~ jisa dina zrI bhagavAnadAsajI ke yahA~ bhojana thA, usa dina Apane kahA ki Apa jo cAheM vaha maiM karane ke lie prastuta huuN| aba Apako isa vRddha avasthAmeM bhramaNa karanA ucita nahIM hai| usI dina eka hajAra rupayA Apane syAdvAda vidyAlaya banArasako diye tathA tIna hajAra rupayA mahilAzrama sAgara ko pradAna kiye| isI prakAra bahuta AdamiyoM kA vicAra thA ki varNIjI yahIM rhe| parantu mujhe to zanaizcaragraha lagA thA, jisase maiM hajAroM nara-nAriyoMko nirAza kara Azvina sudI tIja saM0 2004 ko sAgarase cala pdd'aa| damohameM kucha dina sAgarase calakara baheriyA ThaharA aura vahA~se sAnodA va par3ariyA tthhraa| par3ariyAmeM eka dassA bhAI haiN| unhoMne mandirake lie caudaha sau rupayA nagada diye| anantara zAhapura phuNcaa| yahA~ cAra dina rhaa| yahA~ para manuSyoMmeM sumati haiN| yaha loga cAheM to pAThazAlA kyA vRhada vidyAlaya bhI calA sakate haiN| yahA~ savAI siMghaIjI bahuta sajjana haiN| Apa ke yahA~ do bAra paJcakalyANaka ho cuke haiN| eka paJcakalyANakameM gajaratha bhI calA thaa| Apake koI santAna nahIM thii| yadi Apa cAheM to pAThazAlAke saba chAtroM ko santAna banA sakate haiN| kevala cittavRttiko badalanA hai, parantu koI badalanevAlA prabala honA caahie| logoMne kahA ki yadi Apa yahA~ cAturmAsa kareM to pAThazAlAke lie pacAsa hajAra rupaye kA dhrauvyaphaNDa ho sakatA hai| yahA~ eka bAta vizeSa huii| yahA~ eka carmakAra hai| tIna varSa pahale hamane usase kahA thA ki 'bhAI mA~sa khAnA chor3a do|' usane chor3a diyA tathA zAhapura For Personal & Private Use Only

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damohameM kucha dina 399 ke sampUrNa carmakAroMmeM isa bAta kA pracAra kara diyA ki mRta pazukA mAMsa nahIM khAnA caahiye| bahutoMne jIva hiMsAkA bhI tyAga kara diyaa| yahA~se calakara pathariyA aaye| yahA~ eka dina rhe| zrI pUrNacandrajIke yahA~ bhojana kiyaa| vahA~se calakara sadaguvA~ aaye| yahA~ eka rAtri rhe| zrI kapUracandrajIke yahA~ bhojana kiyaa| yahA~se calane ke bAda damoha phuNce| grAmake bAhara kaI bhadra mahAzaya leneke liye aaye| seTha lAlacandrajIke ghara para sAnanda tthhre| Apa bahuta hI sajjana haiN| ApakI dharmapatnI bhI komala prakRtikI haiN| Apake yahA~ ApakI dharmapatnIkI bahinakA lar3akA nirmala rahatA hai, jo bahuta hI paTu aura bhadra hai| pratidina eka ghaNTA darzana aura svAdhyAya karatA hai| hamArI pratidina eka ghaNTA vaiyAvRtya karatA rhaa| seThajI bahuta vivekI haiN| Apane paccIsa hajAra rupayA dAna kiyA aura yaha kahA ki maiM jahA~ acchA kArya dekhUgA vahA~ke lie de duuNgaa| jisa dina dAna kiyA usI dinase ATha AnA pratizata byAja denA svIkRta kiyA tathA yaha bhI pratijJA kI ki pA~ca varSa ke andara isa dravyako gharameM na rakkhUgA / ApakI dharmapatnI ne navIna sthApita svAdha yAya mandirake lie eka hajAra rupayA diyA hai tathA seThajIne eka hajAra eka rupayA syAdvAda vidyAlaya banArasako tathA eka hajAra eka rupayA varNIceyara hindU vizvavidyAlaya banArasako denA svIkRta kiyaa| eka dina seThajI apanI dharmapatnIse bole-'hamArA vicAra to varNIjIke pAsa rahanekA hai, ghara ko Apa sNbhaalo|' dharmapatnI ne uttara diyA-'ghara apanA ho to sNbhaaleN| Apa hI taka to ghara thaa| jaba Apa itane nirmama ho rahe haiM taba mujhe na gharase sneha hai, na isa nazvara dravya tathA hAr3a-mA~sake piNDa isa zarIrase mamatva hai| maiM Apase pahale hI tyAgane ko prastuta huuN|' seThajI zravaNa kara gadgad ho gye| maiM bhI AzcaryameM par3a gyaa| manameM AyA ki isa kAla meM bAhya nimittoMke abhAva haiM, anyathA aba bhI bahuta manuSya gRhavAsa tyAganeko sannaddha haiN| yahA~ aura bhI kaI manuSya cAhate haiM ki yadi samAgama mile to hamaloga usa samAgamase AtmazAnti kA lAbha leM, parantu vahI durlabha hai| yahA~ para inhIM dinoM meM paM. munnAlAlajI samagaurayA suparinTenDenTa jaina vidyAlaya sAgarase aaye| do dina rhe| Apake vyAkhyAnoM ko janatA ne rucipUrvaka sunaa| sAgarase nikalanevAle jaina prabhAta ke kaI grAhaka huye| kitane hI mahAzayoMne sAgara vidyAlayako eka eka dinake bhojana kharcakA dAna diyaa| siddhAntazAstrI paM. phUlacandrajI banArasa bhI Aye the| unheM varNI granthamAlA ke For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 400 liye DhAI sau rupayeke andAja candA prApta ho gyaa| yahA~ eka nanheMlAlajI tyAgI jabalapuravAle haiN| unakA acchA Adara hai| Apa hI pratidina zAstra-pravacana karate haiN| maiM yahA~se yaha vicAra kara sadguvAM calA gayA ki dIpAvalI rezandI-girikI kruuNgaa| parantu vahA~ pahu~canepara vicAra badala gayA, jisase phira damoha pahu~ca gyaa| itane meM hI paM. jaganmohanalAlajI zAstrI kaTanI, paM. mahendrakumArajI nyAyAcArya, paM. pannAlAlajI kAvyatIrtha tathA paM. phUlacandra jI siddhAntazAstrI banArasa A gaye, jisase bahuta hI Anandase vIra-nirvANotsava huaa| Apa logoM ke parizrama se vahA~ kI saba saMsthAoM kA kendrIkaraNa ho gayA tathA samAja meM paraspara atisaumanasya ho gyaa| seTha gulAbacandrajI ne jo ki samAja meM dhana meM sarvazreSTha haiM, isa ekIkaraNako bahuta hI uttama mAnA aura kahA ki mere pAsa mandiroMkA jo hisAba hai, samAja cAhe to use abhI lele| parantu samAjane Apa hI ko koSAdhyakSa rakkhA / zrI rAjArAma bajAja tathA abhAnAke rahanevAle zrI khUbacandrajI sAhabane bhI isa kArya meM samayocita khUba parizrama kiyaa| yahA~ kI navayuvaka pArTI ne eka jaina hAIskUla kholane kA dRr3ha saMkalpa kiyaa| samAjane usameM yathAzakti yogadAna diyaa| AzA hai AgAmI varSa se yaha kArya prArambha ho jAvegA tathA paNDita jI ke milane para svAdhyAya mandira kA kArya bhI zurU ho jaavegaa| saMsAra kI dazA pratyeka kArya meM anyatvabhAvanA kA pATha par3hAtI hai| jina paNDita mahAzayoM kA saMyoga huA thA vaha viyogarUpa ho gayA aura maiM bhI samAja se pRthak hokara sadguvAM A gyaa| bundelakhaNDakA paryaTana sadaguvAMse bhojana kara calA aura norU so gyaa| vahA~ se sAta mIla calakara kiMdaraya aayaa| bhojana kiyaa| yahA~ logoM para mandira kA rupayA AtA thA, kahA gayA to pA~ca minaTa meM tIna sau pacahattara rupayA A gayA tathA paraspara kA vaimanasya dUra hokara saumanasya ho gyaa| yahA~ se pA~ca mIla calakara sUkhA aaye| yahA~ citrakUTakA eka sAdhu thA, jo sAkSara thA aura mandakaSAyI bhI thaa| kucha carcA huii| rAmAyaNakA jJAtA thaa| 'Izvara kI kRpAse saba kArya hote haiM, hama karanevAle kauna ?' aisI usakI mAnyatA thii| vastutaH isa mAnyatA meM tathya nhiiN| hA~, itanA avazya hai ki ahaMkAra kI vAsanA miTa jAtI haiN| kAlAntara meM aise prANiyoM kA kalyANa ho sakatA hai| usane yaha kahA ki 'Apa loga to For Personal & Private Use Only

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bundelakhaNDakA paryaTana 401 jainAtirikta matAnuyAyI sAdhuoM ko nahIM mAnate ho, mata maano| parantu hamArA to Apase koI dveSa nhiiN| merA to Apa para apane sAdhuoMke sadRza hI prema hai|' maiM usakI yaha pravRtti dekha bahuta asamaMjasa meM par3a gyaa| hama loga to anya sAdhuko dekhakara ziSTAcArako tilAJjali de dete haiN| jaba taka kisI ke sAtha sajjanatAkA vyavahAra nahIM kiyA jAve taba taka usakI usa dharma se, jisase ki jagat kI rakSA hotI hai, kaise prema ho sakatA hai ? dharma to AtmAkA rAga-dveSa-moha rahita pariNAma hai| hama loga yahA~ taka anucita bartAva karate haiM ki anya sAdhuoM ke sAtha sAmAnya manuSyoM ke samAna bhI vyavahAra karane meM saMkoca karate haiN| yadi kisI ne unase kaha diyA ki mahArAja ! sItArAma, to loga use mithyAdRSTi samajhane lagate haiN| maiM kaTanI ke prakaraNa meM ghAsavAlI bur3hiyA aura sattU vAle brAhmaNa kA jikra kara AyA huuN| usa samaya merI vaisI pravRtti dekha sAtha vAle tyAgI kahane lage-'varNIjI ! Apa caraNAnuyogakI AjJA bhaMga karate haiN| upavAsake dina aisI kriyA karanA anucita hai|' maiMne kahA-'ApakA kahanA sarvathA ucita hai parantu maiM prakRtise lAcAra hU~ tathA antaraMga se Apa logoM ke sAmane kahatA hU~ ki yadyapi merI dazamI pratimA hai, parantu usake anukUla pravRtti nhiiN| usameM nirantara doSa lagate haiN| phira bhI svecchAcArI nahIM huuN| merI pravRtti parAye duHkha ko dekhakara Ardra ho jAtI hai| yahI kAraNa hai ki maiM viruddha kArya kA kartA ho jAtA huuN| mujhe ucita to yaha thA ki koI pratijJA na letA aura nyAyavRtti se apanI Ayu pUrNa krtaa| parantu aba jo vrata aMgIkAra kiyA hai usakA niraticAra pAlana karane meM hI pratiSThA hai| isakA yaha artha nahIM ki loka meM pratiSThA hai, pratyuta AtmAkA kalyANa isI meM hai| loka meM pratiSThAkI jo kAmanA hai vaha to patanakA mArga hai| Ajakala AtmAkA saMsAra meM jo patana ho rahA hai usakA mUla kAraNa yahI laukika pratiSThA hai| jisa prakAra Atma-dravya pudgalAdikoMse bhinna hai usI prakAra svakIya AtmA parakIya AtmAse bhinna hai| AtmAkA kisI anya AtmAse mela nhiiN| hamane sirpha mohavaza nAtA jor3a rakkhA hai| mAtA-pitA ko apanI utpattikA kAraNa mAna rakkhA hai| yaha jo paryAya hai, isakA unheM kAraNa mAna rAtri-dina mohI ho saMkalpa-vikalpoMke jAla meM pha~se rahate haiN| mAtA-pitA upalakSaNa haiN| putra, putrI, kalatra, bhrAtrAdike sambandha se Akulita hokara AtmIya AtmatattvakI pratItise vaMcita rahate haiM aura jaba AtmatattvakI pratIti nahIM taba samyagjJAna aura samyakacAritrakI kathA se For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 402 dUra rhe| yahA~ se calakara suraIke gA~va aayaa| yahA~ para ATha ghara jainiyoMke haiN| grAma bahata sundara hai| yahA~ pAThazAlA sthApita ho gaI / yahA~ se calakara zrI siddhakSetra nainAgiri A gye| yahA~ ATha dina rahe / yahIM para rAjakoTa meM zrIyut seTha mohana bhAI ghiyA Aye the| Apa bahuta hI sajjana haiN| ApakI jainadharma meM gAr3ha zraddhA hai| ApakI dhArmika ruci bahuta hI prazaMsanIya hai| bahuta hI udAsIna haiN| Apake ghara meM eka caityAlaya hai, jisakA prabandha Apa hI karate haiN| Apake pratidina pUjAkA niyama hai| ApakA vyavahAra ati nirmala hai| Apake sAtha tArAcandrajI brahmacArI kA ghaniSTha sambandha hai| kucha dina rahakara Apa to girirAja kI yAtrA ke lie cale gye| para bra. tArAcandrajI hamAre sAtha rhe| kSetra para eka pAThazAlA hai, jisameM paM. dharmadAsajI nyAyatIrtha adhyApaka haiN| bahuta hI suyogya haiN| parantu pAThazAlA meM sthAyI phaMDa kI nyUnatA hai| isa ora abhI isa prAntakI samAja kA lakSya nahIM / yahA~ se sAta mIla calakara bamaurI aae| zrImAn kSullaka kSemasAgara jI yahIM ke haiN| ApakA kuTumba sampanna hai| eka pAThazAlA bhI calatI hai| kaI mahAzaya acche sampanna haiN| zrI darabArI lAlajI bar3e utsAhI aura prabhAvazAlI vyakti haiN| nainAgiri kSetra ke yahI maMtrI haiM, rAjyamAnya bhI haiM aura udAra bhI haiN| parantu vidyA kI unnati meM taTastha haiN| yahA~ se tIna mIla calakara sunavAhA aaye| yahA~ jainiyoMke bIsa ghara haiN| eka pAThazAlA bhI tIsa rupayA mAsika ke vyaya se calA rahe haiN| yahA~ se calakara vakasvAhA paha~ce / yaha pannA riyAsatakI tahasIla hai| yahA~ paccIsa ghara jainiyoM ke hoNge| do mandira haiN| eka paravAroM kA aura eka golaapuurvokaa| yahA~ ke jainI prAyaH sampanna haiM | pAThazAlA ke lie pA~ca hajAra rupayA kA candA ho gyaa| candA honA kaThina nahIM, parantu kAma karanA kaThina hai| dekheM, yahA~ kaisA kAma hotA hai| yahA~ tIna dina rhe| eka bAta vilakSaNa huI / vaha yaha ki eka jainIkA bAlaka gAya DhIlane ke lie gA~vake bAhara jAtA thaa| gAyake sAtha usakA bachar3A bhI thaa| bAlakane bachar3e ko eka mAmUlI lAThI mAra dI, jisase vaha mara gyaa| gA~va ke logoM ne use jAtise bAhara kara diyA, parantu bahuta kahane sunane para use jAti meM sammilita kara liyaa| yahA~ se calakara phira bamaurI Aye aura eka dina vahA~ rahakara khaTaurA A gye| yahA~ para zrI bhaiyAlAlajI kakkU bahuta hI dharmAtmA jIva haiN| Apane do For Personal & Private Use Only

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bundelakhaNDakA paryaTana 403 bAra paMcakalyANaka kiye haiM aura hajAroM rupaye vidyAdAna meM lagAe haiN| tIrtha yAtrA meM ApakI acchI ruci hai| yahA~ se calakara dalapatapura A ge| Anandase dina biitaa| yahA~ para svargIya javAhara siMghaI ke bhatIje aura nAtI bahuta hI yogya haiN| yahA~ eka pAThazAlA bhI calatI hai| dalapatapurase dulacIpura aura vahA~ se barAyaThA aae| yahA~ cAlIsa ghara golApUrva samAja ke haiN| kaI ghara atyanta sampanna haiN| seTha daulatarAma ghiyA bahuta yogya haiN| pAThazAlA meM paM. padmacandrajI vizArada adhyApaka haiN| ___ yahA~ jo pulisa darogA haiM ve jAti ke brAhmaNa haiN| bahuta hI sajjana haiN| Apane bahuta hI Agraha kiyA ki hamAre ghara bhojana krie| parantu abhI hama logoM meM itanI durbalatA hai ki kisI ko jainI banAne meM bhaya karate haiN| Apane prasanna hokara kahA ki hama dasa rupayA mAsika dete haiN| ApakI jahA~ icchA ho vahA~ vyaya kreN| jaba maiMne barAyaThAse prasthAna kiyA taba cAra mIla taka sAtha aaye| rAtriko haMserA grAma meM basa rhe| vahA~ para hamArI janmabhUmi ke rahane vAle hamAre laMgoTiyA mitra siMghaI harisiMhajI A ge| bAlyakAlakI bahuta-sI carcA huii| prAtaHkAla mar3AvarA pahu~ca ge| logoM ne Atithya satkAra meM bahuta prayAsa kiyaa| pazcAt zrI nAyaka lakSmaNaprasAdajI ke atithi-gRha meM Thahara gyaa| sAtha meM zrI cidAnandajI, zrI sumeracandrajI bhagata tathA zrI kSullaka kSemasAgara jI mahArAja the| yahIM para sAgara se samagaurayA jI A ge| unakI janmabhUmi yahA~ para hai| hama yahA~ tIna dina rhe| yahIM para eka dina tIna baje zrImAna paM. baMzIdharajI indaura A gaye ApakA rAtriko pravacana huA, jise zravaNa kara zrotA loga mugdha ho ge| maiM to jaba-jaba ve milate haiM taba-taba unhIM ke dvArA zAstra pravacana sunatA huuN| vizeSa kyA likhU ? Apa jaisA mArmika vyAkhyAtA durlabha hI hai| ApakA vicAra maharaunI gA~va ke bAhara udyAna meM zAntibhavana banAne kA hai, parantu maharaunIvAle abhI utane udAra nhiiN| ve cAhate haiM ki prAMta se bana jAve, parantu jaMba taka svayaM bIsa hajAra rupayA kA sthAyI prabandha na kareMge taba taka anyatrase dravya milanA asambhava hai| yahIM paNDitajI kI janmabhUmi hai| yadi ApakI dRSTi isa ora ho jAve to anAyAsa kArya ho sakatA hai, parantu paJcamakAla hai| aisA honA kucha kaThina-sA pratIta hotA hai| mar3AvarA meM paNDitajI tathA samagaurayA jI ke athaka parizrama se pAThazAlA kA jo candA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 404 banda thA vaha uga gayA aura yahA~ ke manuSyoM meM paraspara jo manomAlinya thA vaha bhI dUra ho gyaa| yahA~ tIna dina rahakara zrIyuta svargIya seTha candrabhAnu jI ke suputra ke Agrahase sADhUmala A gyaa| yahA~ sva. seTha candrabhAnujI kA mahAn pratApa thaa| seThajI ke samaya se hI yahA~ eka pAThazAlA cala rahI hai| jIrNa hone ke kAraNa usakA bhavana gira par3A thA, jisase prAcIna saMsthAke kArya meM rukAvaTa Ane lagI thii| prayatna karane para grAmavAsiyoM se cAra hajAra do sau pacAsa rupayA ke lagabhaga candA ho gyaa| pAThazAlA meM paM zIlacandrajI nyAyatIrtha adha yApaka haiN| jo bahuta hI vyutpanna aura zAnta prakRtike vidvAn haiM / yahA~ mere bhojana ke upalakSya meM zrI hajArIlAla jI rupacandrajI TaDaiyA lalitapuravAloM ne sAgara vidyAlaya ko r3hAI sau rupayA dene kI ghoSaNA kii| maiM yahA~ caubIsa ghaNTe rhaa| yahA~ se calakara saidapUra aayaa| yahA~ bhI caubIsa ghaMTA rhaa| bra. cidAnandajI ke prayatna se sthAnIya pAThazAlA ke lie eka hajAra rupayA ke vacana mile| saidapura se maharaunI AyA / yahA~ mere Ane ke do dina pUrva kucha pramukha vyaktiyoM meM bhayaMkara jhagar3A ho gayA thA jisase vAtAvaraNa bahuta azAMta thaa| parantu prayatna karane se saba prakAra kI zAnti ho gii| rAtriko Ama sabhA huI, jisameM mere sivAya zrI bra. manoharalAlajI, paM. govindarAyajI tathA samagaurayAjI ke sArvajanika bhASaNa hue| tIna dina rahane ke bAda kumhair3I phuNcaa| jaba yahA~ ke liye A rahA thA taba mArga me sar3aka para eka sajjana bole ki 'mahArAja ApakA kumhair3I jAnA vyartha hai| vahA~ ke zrImanta varayAjI para ApakA prabhAva nahIM pdd'egaa| ve cikane ghar3e haiN|' sunakara bra. sumerucandrajI ne uttara diyA ki 'hama logoM ko kisI para prabhAva nahIM DAlanA hai aura na kisI kA dhana caahiye| hamArA kArya logoM ko dharmamArga dikhAnA hai| phira unakI icchaa| hama kisI para koI jabardastI nahIM krte| parantu jaba isa gA~va meM pahu~cA to varayAjI kI AtmA para bahuta prabhAva pdd'aa| dasa minaTa kI carcA meM hI zrI candrabhAnajI varayA gadgad hokara bole ki 'mahArAja ! maiM bahuta dina se ulajhana meM par3A thA ki apanI sampattikA kaisA upayoga kruuN| merI sirpha do laDakiyA~ haiN| putra koI nahIM hai| parantu Aja vaha ulajhana sulajhI huI dikhatI hai| maiM nizcaya karatA hU~ ki apanI sampatti ko cAra bhAgoM meM bA~Ta duuNgaa| do hisse donoM putriyoM aura riztedAroM ko, eka hissA For Personal & Private Use Only

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bundelakhaNDakA paryaTana 405 svayaM nijake lie aura eka hissA dharmakAryoM ke lie rkhuugaa| hama sabane varayAjI ke nirNayakI sarAhanA kii| madhyAhnake do baje se sAr3he cAra baje taka eka AmasabhA huI, jisameM bhASaNoM ke anantara varayAjIkA nirNaya sabako sunAyA gyaa| logoM se patA calA ki unake pAsa do-tIna lAkha kI sampatti hai| rAtriko eka navIna pAThazAlA kA udghATana huaa| ___ kumhair3I ke bAda gur3A aura nArAyaNapura hote hue zrI atizaya kSetra ahAra phuNcaa| yahA~ agahana sudI bArasa se caudaha taka kSetra kA vArSika melA thaa| TIkamagar3hase hindI sAhityake mahAn vidvAna zrI banArasIdAsajI caturvedI tathA bAbU mithilAprasAda jI bI. e., ela. ela. bI., zikSAmaMtrI, zrI kRSNAnanda jI gupta tathA bAbU yazapAlajI jaina Adi mahAnubhAva bhI padhAre the| ahAra kSetra kA prAkRtika saundarya avarNanIya hai| vAstava me pahAr3oM ke anupama saundarya, bAga-bagIcoM, hare-bhare dhAnake khetoM evaM mIloM lambe vizAla tAlAbase nikalakara pravAhita honevAle jala pravAhoMse ahAra eka darzanIya sthAna bana gayA hai| usa para saMsArako cakita kara denevAlI pApaTa jaise kuzala kArIgara kI kara-kalAse nirmita zrI zAntinAtha bhagavAna kI sAtizaya pratimAne to vahA~ ke vAyumaNDala ko itanA pavitra banA diyA hai ki AtmA meM ekadama zAnti A jAtI hai| miDila skUla kholane ke lie yadi jaina samAja AdhA vyaya denA svIkAra kare to AdhA rAjya kI ora se dilAne kA AzvAsana zrI bAbU mithilA prasAda jI zikSAmaMtrI ne diyaa| yahA~ kI saMsthA ko chaha hajAra rupayA tathA kSetra ko pA~ca sau rupayA kI navIna Aya huii| melA meM jaina-ajaina janatA kI bhIr3a lagabhaga dasa hajAra thii| tIna dina taka khUba cahala-pahala rhii| yahA~ ke maMtrI zrI bArelAla vaidya paThA haiM, jo utsAhI jIva haiN| prAThazAlA meM paM. premacandrajI adhyApaka haiN| zrI banArasIdAsa jI caturvedI tathA yazapAla jI ke prayatna se prAcIna pratimAoM ko rakhane ke lie eka sundara bhavana bana gayA hai| paravArabhUSaNa bra. phatecandrajI nAgapuravAloMne bhI kSetra kI unnati meM kAphI kAma kiyA hai| yahA~ se calakara paThA aayaa| yahA~ para seTha cimmanalAlajI brahmacArI haiM, jo sampanna haiN| parantu gRhavAsa se virakta haiN| yahA~ Apake dharmagRha meM rhe| eka dina bAda papaurAjI A gyaa| isa kSetra kI carcA pahale vistAra se kara Ae haiN| yahA~ do dina nivAsa kara TIkamagar3ha aayaa| yahA~ aneka jinAlaya aura lagabhaga For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 406 do sau ghara zrAvakoMke haiN| prAyaH saba sampanna haiN| ye loga yadi cAheM to papaurA vidyAlaya kI unnati ho sakatI hai, parantu inakI isa ora vizeSa dRSTi nahIM / yahA~ se calakara bAnapura gyaa| yahA~ para gA~va ke bAhara prAcIna mandira hai| eka sahasrakUTa caityAlaya bhI hai, parantu gA~vavAloM kA usa ora dhyAna nhiiN| gA~va meM bahuta bar3e-bar3e mandira haiN| usa ora bhI vizeSa lakSya nahIM / yahA~ se calakara mabaI AyA / yahA~ para zrInAthUrAma jI bahuta hI suyogya aura sampanna vyakti haiN| yahA~ kA sarAphA gharAnA bhI prasiddha hai| isa gharAne meM kalyANacandrajI 1 bahuta hI yogya aura udAra mahAzaya ho gaye haiN| inakA rAjya meM acchA Adara thaa| nAthUrAmajIne ahAra vidyAlaya ko eka hajAra rupayA pradAna kiyA thaa| ye abhI thor3e dina hae murAra Aye the| taba inhoMne mujhase kahA thA ki yadi Apa papaurA padhAreM to maiM papaurA vidyAlaya ko paccIsa hajAra rupayA dilvaauuNgaa| isameM kyA rahasya hai, maiM nahIM smjhaa| parantu ye bahuta udAra haiN| sambhava hai, svayaM vizeSa dAna kreN| inhoMne yahA~ dvitIya pratimA ke vrata lie| inake pacAsoM ekar3a bhUmi hai| usase jo Aya hotI hai, paropakAra meM jAtI hai| abhI TIkamagar3ha meM annakA bahuta kaSTa thA taba inhoMne saikaDoM mana cAvala bhejakara prajA meM zAMti sthApita karAne meM sahAyatA kI thii| inake udyoga se gA~va meM eka pAThazAlA bhI sthApita ho gaI hai| merA bhojana inhIM ke ghara huA thaa| yahA~ se calakara jatArA aayaa| yaha vaha sthAna hai jahA~ para maiMne zrI svargIya motIlAlajI varNI ke sAtha raha kara jainadharmakA paricaya prApta kiyA thaa| yahA~ para eka mandira meM prAcIna kAlakA eka bhoharA hai| usameM bahuta hI manohara jina pratimAe~ haiM, jo aSTa prAtihArya sahita haiN| munipratimA bhI yahA~ para hai| zrI paM. motIlAlajI varNI pAThazAlA ke lie eka makAna de gae haiM aura usake sadA sthira rahane ke lie dravya bhI de gaye haiN| yadyapi unake bhatIje sampanna haiN| ve svayaM use calA sakate haiM, parantu gA~va ke paMcoM meM paraspara saumanasya na hone se pAThazAlA kA dvAra banda hai| yahA~ do dina rahane ke bAda zrI svargIyA dharmamAtA ciroMjAbAI jI ke gA~va aayaa| yahA~ kI janatAne bar3e hI sneha pUrvaka tIna dina rakkhA / yahA~ se calakara sataguvAM aayaa| eka dina rhaa| phira bamaurI hotA huA pRthvIpura AyA yaha sampanna bastI hai, parantu paraspara saumanasyake abhAva meM dharmakA vizeSa kArya na huaa| yahA~ se 1. ye paMDita phUlacandra siddhAntazAstrIke bahanoI the| paNDitajIkI bahina abhI bhI jIvita haiN| vRddhA honepara bhI unakA pUrA samaya dharmakAryameM vyatIta hotA hai| For Personal & Private Use Only

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baruAsAgara meM vividha samAroha 407 calakara baruAsAgara A gyaa| bIca meM cidAnanda brahmacArI kA samAgama chUTa gayA thaa| ve yahA~ A mile / yahA~ para bAbU rAmasvarUpa jI ke yahA~ sAnandase rahane lgaa| isa prakAra bundelakhaNDake isa paidala paryaTana se AtmA meM apUrva zAnti aaii| baruAsAgara meM vividha samAroha isa prakAra TIkamagar3hase bhramaNa karatA huA baruAsAgara A pahu~cA aura sTezana se kucha hI dUra bAbU rAmasvarUpa jI ThekedAra ke navIna bhavana meM Thahara gyaa| bAbU sAhaba se merA bahuta kAla se paricaya hai| paricayakA kAraNa inakI nirmala aura bhadra AtmA hai| yaha vahI baruAsAgara hai jahA~ para merI Ayu kA bahuta bhAga bItA hai| yahA~ kI Ava-havA bahuta hI sundara hai| yahA~ para zrI svargIya mUlacandra jI dvArA eka pArzvanAtha vidyAlaya sthApita hue 15 varSa ho cuke haiN| yahA~ kI prAkRtika suSamA nirAlI hai| suramya aTavIke bIcoM-bIca eka choTI-sI pahAr3I hai| usake pUrva bhAga meM bahuta sundara bAga hai, uttara meM mahAn suramya sarovara hai, pazcima meM sundara jinAlaya aura dakSiNa meM ramaNIya aTavI hai| pahAr3I para vidyAlaya aura chAtrAvAsa ke sundara bhavana bane hue haiM / sthAna itanA sundara hai ki pratyeka dekhanevAlA prasanna hokara jAtA hai| pArzvanAtha vidyAlaya ke sabhApati zrI rAjamallajI sAhaba haiM, jo ki bahuta hI yogya vyakti haiN| Apake pUrvaja lazkarake the, para Apa vartamAna meM jhA~sI rahate haiN| bar3e kuzala vyApArI haiN| Apake choTe bhrAtA cAMdamallajI sAhaba haiM, jo bahuta hI yogya haiM aura jainadharma meM acchA bodha bhI rakhate haiN| ApakA eka bAlaka vakIla hai| usakI bhI dharma meM acchI ruci hai| isa pAThazAlA ke mantrI zrI munnAlAlajI vakIla haiN| ApakA nivAsa baruAsAgara hai| Apa nAyaka vaMzake haiM tathA bahuta udyogI haiN| Apane vakAlata chor3akara kRSi meM bahuta unnati kI haiN| yadi isa udyoga meM nirantara lage rahe to bahuta kuzala ho jaaveNgeN| vakIla hone para bhI veSabhUSA bahuta sAdhAraNa rakhate haiN| Apa meM kArya karane kI kSamatA hai| yadi thor3A samaya paropakAra meM lagA deveM to eka nahIM aneka pAThazAlAoM kA uddhAra Apa kara sakate haiN| Apake pitA bAlacandra nAyaka haiM, jo bahuta sajjana dharmAtmA haiN| Apa usa prAnta ke suyogya paMca haiN| yadyapi aba vRddha ho gaye haiM tathApi dhArmika kAryoM meM kabhI zithila nahIM hote| isI prakAra vidyAlaya ke kAryakartA gayAsI lAla caudharI haiN| Apa bhI bahuta catura vyakti haiN| Apa nirantara pUjA tathA svAdhyAya karate haiN| kuzala vyApArI haiN| Apake kaI bhatIje atyanta catura For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 408 haiN| Apane ASTAhnikA parva meM honevAle utsavake samaya pAThazAlAko eka sahasra sthAyI dravya diyA tathA eka kamarA chAtrAvAsa ke liye bhI banavA diyaa| Apa jitanA samaya vyApAra meM dete haiM, yadi usakA dasavA~ bhAga bhI vidyAlayako dene lageM to usakI unnati sahaja hI ho sakatI hai| yahA~ para zrI svargIya alayA kanhaiyAlAlajI sabjI ke kuzala vyApArI the| unake vartamAna meM aneka suputra haiN| ve bhI pAThazAlAko acchI sahAyatA karate rahate haiN| yahA~ se cha: mIla para eka khisanI grAma hai| vahA~ para zrI siMghaI choTelAlajI bar3e dharmAtmA haiN| ApakI dharmamAtA ne 1001) baruAsAgara kI pAThazAlA ko abhI diye aura eka hajAra pahale bhI diye the| pAThazAlA kA utsava inhIM kI adhyakSatA meM huA thaa| Apane dasa rupaye mAsika sadaiva ke liye pAThazAlA ko denA svIkRta kiyaa| Apa bahuta hI yogya tathA miSTabhASI vyakti haiN| Apase sarva janatA prasanna rahatI jaba logoM ke svAbhAvika anurAgane mujhe Age jAne se roka diyA taba maiMne baruAsAgara ke Asa-pAsa hI bhramaNa karanA ucita smjhaa| phalataH maiM magarapura gyaa| yahA~ para svargIya bAIjI ke bhAI kAmatAprasAda rahate the| yahIM para zrIrAma bharoselAlajI siMghaI rahate haiN| jo bahuta hI yogya dhArmika vyakti haiN| Apa vyApAra meM atikuzala haiN| sAtha hI svAdhyAya ke premI bhI haiN| svAdhyAya premI hI nahIM, golAlAre jAti ke kuzala paMca bhI haiN| Apa prAntIya golAlAre sabhA ke sabhApati bhI raha cuke haiN| Apako jAti utthAnakI nirantara cintA rahatI hai| ApakA bhojanapAna zuddha hai| Apane baruAsAgara vidyAlaya ko 1001) diyaa| Apake do suputra haiN| donoM hI sadAcArI haiN| yahIM svargIya bAIjI ke dUsare bhAI svargIya aDakUlAlajI siMghaI rahate the| Apa bar3e udAra the tathA baruAsAgara vidyAlaya kI nirantara sahAyatA karate the| magarapura se dumadumA gyaa| yaha vahI dumadumA hai jahA~ ke paNDita dayAcandrajI jaina saMgha mathurA meM upadezaka haiM | Apa yogya vyakti haiM | Apake ghara para zuddha bhojana kI vyavasthA hai| yahA~ ke zrImAn manoharalAlajI varNI haiM, jo Ajakala uttara prAnta meM rahate haiM ora niSNAta vidvAn haiN| Apake dvArA sahAranapura meM eka gurukula kI sthApanA ho gaI hai| yadi Apa usameM apanA pUrNa upayoga lagA deveM to vaha saMsthA sthAyI ho sakatI hai| Apa pratyeka kArya meM udAsIna rahate haiM para yaha nizcita hai ki upayoga kI sthiratA ke binA kisI bhI kArya kA honA asambhava hai| cAhe vaha laukika ho aura cAhe pAralaukika For Personal & Private Use Only

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baruAsAgarameM vividha samAroha 409 athavA donoM se pare ho| astu, jo ho, unakI ve jaaneN| idhara-udhara bhramaNa kara punaH baruAsAgara A gyaa| baruAsAgara vidyAlaya ke viSaya meM eka bAta vizeSa likhane kI raha gii| vaha yaha ki svargIya mUlacandrajI ke suputra svargIya zreyAnsakumAra, jo ki bahuta hI honahAra yuvaka the, jaba sAgara gaye, taba mujhase bole ki Apa baruAsAgara AveM aura jisa dina Apa baruAgasAra se pare dumadumA A jAveMge usI dina maiM daza sahasra rupayA baruAsAgara vidyAlaya ko dAna kara duuNgaa| parantu Apa usI varSa paraloka sidhAra gye| ApakI dharmapatnI haiM, jo bar3I hI sajjana haiN| honahAra bAlaka bhI haiN| yahA~ para pAThazAlA ke jo mukhyAdhyApaka paM. manoharalAlajI haiM ve to usake mAnoM prANa hI haiN| Apa nirantara usakI ciMtA rakhate haiN| mAmUlI vetana lekara bhI Apako saMtoSa hai| Apane athaka parizrama kara jhA~sIvAle nanhUmallajI jaina agravAla loiyA se pAThazAlA ke liye pacAsa sahasra kA makAna dilA kara use amara banA diyaa| loiyAjI ne isake sivAya chAtrAvAsa kA eka kamarA bhI banavA diyA hai aura maine pAThazAlA ke liye jo eka ghar3I dI thI vaha bhI inhoMne gyAraha sau rupaye meM lI thii| ApakA svabhAva ati sarasa aura madhura hai| Apa parama dayAlu haiM, saMsAra se udAsa rahate haiM aura nirantara dharmakArya meM apanA samaya lagAte haiN| bAbU rAmasvarUpa jI ke viSaya meM kyA likhU ? ve to vidyAlaya ke jIvana hI haiN| vartamAna meM usakA jo rUpa hai vaha Apake satprayatna aura svArthatyAga kA hI phala hai| Apa nirantara svAdhyAya karate haiM, tattva ko samajhate bhI haiM, zAstrake bAda AdhyAtmika bhajana bar3I hI tanmayatA se kahate haiN| ApakI dharmapatnI jvAlAdevI haiN| jo bahuta catura tathA dhArmika svabhAva kI haiM, nirantara svAdhyAya karatI haiM, svabhAva kI komala haiN| ApakA eka suputra nemicandra ema.e. hai, jo svabhAvakA sarala, mRdubhASI aura niSkapaTa hai, vidyAvyasanI bhI hai| parantu vyApArakI ora usakA lakSya nhiiN| ilAhAbAda rahatA hai| jaba taka maiM IsarI rahA taba taka pratimAsa Apake yahA~se eka kuppI aThapaharA ghI pahu~catA rhaa| zrI jvAlA devI ne do hajAra eka vidyAlaya ko diye tathA eka kamarA bhI banavA diyaa| eka hajAra eka vidvatpariSadkoM bhI diye| isake sivAya dhIre-dhIre phAlguna zukla vIra ni. 2474 kA ASTAhnikA parva A gyaa| usa samaya Apane bar3I dhUmadhAmase For Personal & Private Use Only

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410 merI jIvanagAthA siddhacakra vidhAna karAyA, jisase dharmakI mahatI prabhAvanA huI / isI utsavake samaya tyAgI sammelana bhI huA, jisameM 50 tyAgI mahAzaya padhAre the / sammelana kA kAryakrama prabhAvotpAdaka thA / prAtaHkAla 4 baje prArthanA hotI thI / anantara eka tyAgI mahAzaya kA saMkSipta bhASaNa hotA thA / phira saba sAmUhika rUpa meM baiThakara sAmAyika karate the / zArIrika kriyAoM se nivRtta hone ke bAda ATha baje se zAstrapravacana hotA thA / madhyAhana meM bhojanoparAnta saba sAmUhika rUpa se sAmAyika karate the| phira kucha tattvacarcA yA bhASaNa Adi hote the aura saMdhyA ke samaya bhI pUrvavat sAmAyika tathA bhASaNa hote the / bhAratavarSIya di. jaina vratI sammelana kA prathama adhivezana bhI zrI bhagata sumerucandra jI jagAdharI ke satprayatna se isI samaya huA thA / Apa utsAhI tyAgI haiM / 33 varSa kI avasthA se brahmacaryavrata kA pAlana kara rahe haiN| isI tyAgI sammelana ke AkarSaNa se gayA se zrI viduSI patAsI bAIjI kA bhI zubhAgamana huA thA / ApakI vyAkhyAna zailI bahuta mArmika hai| Apake prabhAva se strI-samAjane hajAroM rupayA dAna meM diye tathA baruAsAgara meM eka kanyA pAThazAlA bhI sthApita kara dI / isI samaya vidvatpariSadakA adhivezana bhI huA, jisameM paM. kailAzacandrajI banArasa, vyAkhyAnabhUSaNa tulasIrAmajI bar3auta, prazamaguNapUrNa paM. jaganmohana lAla jI kaTanI, paM. rAjendrakumAra jI mathurA, prazamamUrti paM. dayAcandrajI sAgara tathA paM. candramaulijI Adi vidvAn padhAre the| zrImAn siddhAntamahodadhi paM. baMzIdharajI indaurakA bhI zubhAgamana huA thA / parantu acAnaka ApakA svAsthya kharAba ho jAne ke kAraNa janatA ApakI mArmika tattvavivecanA se vaMcita rahI / isI avasara para bAbU rAmasvarUpa jI tathA unakI sau. dharmapatnI jvAlA devI ne dUsarI pratimA ke vrata prasannatApUrvaka lie aura koyalA Adi ke jisa vyApAra se Apane lAkhoM rupaye arjita kiye the use vratI ke anukUla na hone se sadA ke lie chor3a diyA / saba logoM ko bAbU sAhaba ke isa tyAga se mahAn Azcarya huaa| maine bhI tithi phAlguna sudI saptamI 2474 ko prAtaH kAla zrI zAntinAtha bhagavAn kI sAkSI meM AtmakalyANa ke lie kSullaka ke vrata liye / merA dRr3ha nizcaya hai ki prANI kA kalyANa tyAga meM hI nihita hai| isI ASTAnikA parva ke samaya yahA~ ke pArzvanAtha vidyAlaya kA vArSika adhivezana bhI huA jisameM zrImAn bAbU harivilAsajI AgarAne 2001, For Personal & Private Use Only

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baruAsAgarase sonAgiri 411 zrImAn seTha khyAlIrAmajIne 1001, zrImAn gayAsIlAla jI caudharI baruAsAgarane 1001, zrImAn seTha jAnakIprasAda sundaralAla jIne 1251, zrImAn nanhUmallajI agravAla jhA~sI ne 1101, zrImAn si. choTelAla jI khisanIne 1001, zrImAn siM. bharoselAla jI magarapurane 1001, zrI gomatIdevI tAjagaMja AgarAne 501, zrI durgAdevI lAlA kailAzacandra agravAla kI mAtezvarI AgarAne 501 aura zrI zreyAMsakumArajI kI dharmapatnI lalitAbAI baruAsAgara ne 501 eka muzta diye| isake sivA phuTakara candA bhI huaa| saba milAkara 25000 ke lagabhaga vidyAlaya kA dhrauvyaphaNDa ho gyaa| isa prakAra vidyAlaya sthAyI ho gyaa| mujhe bhI eka zikSAyatana ko sthira dekha apAra harSa huaa| vAstava meM jJAna hI jIvakA kalyANa karanevAlA hai, parantu yaha paJcamakAlakA hI prabhAva hai ki loga usase udAsIna hote jA rahe haiN| isa prAnta meM itane dravya se kucha nahIM hotA / yaha prAnta prAyaH azikSita hai| yahA~ to pA~ca lAkha kA phaNDa ho taba kucha ho sakatA hai, para vaha svapna hai| astu, jo bhagavAn vIrane dekhA hogA, so hogaa| yahA~ se prasthAna kara jhA~sIkI ora cala pdd'e| baruAsAgarase sonAgiri baruAsAgara se calakara vetravatI nadI para aaye| sthAna bahuta hI ramya hai| sAdhuoM ke dhyAna yogya hai| parantu sAdhu ho taba n| hama logoM ne sAdhuoM kA anukaraNa kara rAtri bitaaii| pazcAt jhA~sI aaye| seTha makkhana lAlajI ke baMgalepara tthhre| Apa bahuta hI yogya haiN| yahA~ tIna dina rahe / Anandase kAla gyaa| Apake yahA~ do dina sabhA huii| janatA acchI aaii| Apane eka pIlI koThI aura usI se milI huI mandira kI jamIna lekara eka kalAbhavana kholane kI ghoSaNA kara dI aura usake calAne ke lie tIna sau mAsika sarvadAke lie dAna kara diyaa| sAtha hI lage hAtha usakI rajisTrI bhI karA dii| yahA~ se calakara do dina bIca meM Thaharate hue datiyA A gaye aura yahA~ se calakara zrIsonAgirijI A ge| parvata kI talahaTI meM madUnAvAloM kI dharmazAlA meM Thahara gye| Upara jAkara mandiroM kI vandanA kii| mandira bahuta hI manojJa tathA vistRta haiN| yahA~ para mandiroM meM terApanthI aura bIsapanthI AmnAyake anusAra pUjA hotI hai| prAtaH kAla parvata ke Upara vandanAko gye| mArga bahuta hI svaccha aura vistRta hai| pratyeka mandira para kramAMka par3e hue haiM tathA jina For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 412 bhagavAna kA nAma likhA huA hai, jisase yAtriyoM ko vandanA karane meM kaThinAI nahIM jaatii| parvata ke madhya meM zrI candraprabha svAmI kA mahAn mandira banA huA hai| isakA cauka bar3A hI vistRta hai| usameM pA~ca hajAra manuSya sukhapUrvaka baiTha sakate haiN| mandira ke bAhara bar3A bhArI cabUtarA hai aura isake bIca meM uttuMga mAnastambha banA huA hai| usameM mArvalakA pharza lagAne ke liye eka prasiddha seThane pacAsa hajAra rupayA diye haiN| yahA~ parvatapara bahuta hI svacchatA hai| isakA zreya zrI gappUlAla jI lazkara vAloM ko hai| zrImAna seTha baijanAthajI sarAvagI kalakattAvAloM ne kSetra ke jIrNoddhAra meM bahuta-sI sahAyatA svayaM kI hai aura anya dharmAtmA bandhuoM se karAI hai| Apa vilakSaNa pratibhAzAlI vyakti haiN| svayaM vRddha haiM, parantu yuvakoMse adhika parizrama karate haiN| kisI prakAra jaina dharma kI unnati ho, isakI nirantara cintA banI rahatI hai| pratidina jinendradeva kI arcA karate haiM tathA dUsaroM ko bhI jinendra bhagavAn kI arcA karane kI preraNA karate haiN| jisa prAnta meM jAte haiM vahA~ jo bhI saMsthA hotI hai use puSTa karane ke artha svayaM dAna dete haiM tathA anya bandhuoMse preraNA kara saMsthAko sthAyI banAne kA prayatna karate haiN| parvata para Apake dvArA bahuta kucha sudhAra huA hai| isa samaya sonAgiri meM bhaTTAraka zrI harIndrabhUSaNa jI ke ziSya bhaTTAraka haiN| yahA~ para kaI dharmazAlAe~ haiN| jinameM eka sAtha pA~ca hajAra yAtrI Thahara sakate haiN| yahA~ para eka pAThazAlA bhI hai, parantu usa ora samAja kA vizeSa lakSya nhiiN| pAThazAlA se kSetra kI zobhA hai| kSetra kameTI ko pAThazAlA kI unnati meM pUrA sahayoga denA caahiye| samAja tathA deza kA utthAna zikSA se hI ho sakatA hai| kSetra para AnevAle bandhuoM kA kartavya hai ki ve pAThazAlA kI ora vizeSa dhyAna deN| zikSA se mAnava meM pUrNa mAnavatA kA vikAsa hotA hai| samAja yadi cAhe to pAThazAlA ko cintAmukta kara sakatI hai| Aja kala pandraha chAtra haiN| zrI ratanalAla jI pATanI jisa kisI prakAra saMsthAko calA rahe haiN| unakA prayatna sarAhanIya hai| zrI svarNagirike darzana kara AtmAko atyanta Ananda prApta huaa| caita sudI 5 saM0 2005 kA dina thA, Aja prAtaH kAla zrI lazkarake mandira meM pravacana huaa| zaMkA samAdhAna bhI huaa| parantu adhikAMza meM kutarkase adhikatara samAdhAna aura zaMkAyeM kI jAtI haiN| jo ho, sabase viziSTa Aja jo bAta huI vaha yaha hai-Aja zrI kSullaka kSemasAgarajI mahArAja jhA~sI se aaye| Apane kahA ki maiM Apake sAtha niyama se sonAgiri kSetra aataa| parantu Apake For Personal & Private Use Only

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baruAsAgarase sonAgiri 413 saMgha ke jo mainejara harizcandrajI haiM unhoMne yaha kahA ki 'varNIjI kA yaha kahanA hai ki Apa cAra AdamI se adhika kA prabandha mata krnaa| unameM Apa nahI aate| ataH Apa mata calo, hama ApakA prabandha nahIM kara skeNge|' 1 maiM bolA- 'maine harizcandrajI se yaha bAta avazya kahIM thI, parantu usakA yaha Azaya na thA jo lagAyA gayA / sambhava hai zrI harizcandrajI kA bhI vaha Azaya na ho jo ki mahArAjane avagata kiyA ho / athavA kucha ho, mUla para Ao / merA yaha Azaya avazya thA ki yaha prakRti se bhadratA kI avahelanA karate haiN| sambhava hai inake samparka se maiM apanI durbalatA ko nahIM chipA sakU~, ataH inakA jAnA mujhe iSTa na thA / isalie maine harizcandrajI se kaha diyA / vAstava meM harizcandra koI doSabhAk nahIM, doSabhAk to maiM hI huuN| astu, yaha sarvathA mAnanIya siddhAnta hai ki para kA saMsarga sukhada nahIM... yaha jAnakara bhI maiM ina saMsargose bhinna nahIM rahatA / phala isakA yaha pratyakSa hI hai / antaraMgase jJAnako nirmala banAne kI ceSTA karanI caahiye| jJAna kI nirmalatA tabhI hogI jaba ina para padArthoM kA samparka chUTa jAvegA aura inakA samparka tabhI chUTegA jaba yaha dRr3hatama nizcaya ho jAvegA ki koI padArtha kisI kA na to kartA hai, na dhartA hai aura na hartA hai / saba padArtha apane svarUpa meM lIna haiN| zrIyuta mahAnubhAva kundakunda svAmIne kartRkarma adhikAra meM likhA hai-- 'jo jamhi guNo davve so aNNamhi Na saMkamadi davve | so aNNamasaMkato kaha taM pariNAmae davvaM / / ' isa loka meM jo padArtha haiM ve cAhe cetanAtmaka hoM, cAhe acetanAtmaka, ve saba cetana dravya aura cetana guNa athavA acetana dravya aura acetanaguNoM meM hI rahate haiN| yahI vastukI maryAdA hai| isakA saMkramaNa nahIM ho sakatA / mahAvIra jayantI sonAgiri caitrazukla 13 vIrAbda 2474 zrI mahAvIra svAmI kA janma saMsAra meM advitIya hI thA / arthAt isa kalikAlake uddhAra ke lie ve hI antima mahApurUSa hue| unake pahale 23 tIrthaMkara aura bhI hue, jinake dvArA eka kor3Akor3I sAgara paryanta dharma kI prabhAvanA rhii| jisa AtmA meM dharmakA udaya hotA hai vaha apane karttavya pathako samajhane lagatA hai| jaise sUryodaya kAla meM netravAn puruSa mArga prApta kara apane-apane abhISTa kAryoM kI siddhi ke lie prayatnazIla ho jAte haiM / evaM zrI 1 For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 414 tIrthaprabhumArtaNDakA udaya pAkara bhavyAbja vikasita ho jAte haiN| bhavyakamaloM meM vikasita hone kI zakti hai| usakA upAdAna kAraNa ve svayaM hai, parantu usa vikAsa meM nimitta zrI vIra prabhu hae / yahI kAraNa hai ki Aja bhI hama loga una 1008 vIra prabhukA smaraNa karate haiN| parantu kevala smaraNa mAtra se hama saMsAra kI yAtanAoM se mukta nahIM ho skte| unake dikhalAye hue mArgakA avalaMbana karane se hI hama unake anuyAyI ho sakate haiN| lAkhoM rupaye kA vyaya karane para ! bhI hama zrI vIra prabhukA utanA prabhAva dikhAne meM samartha nahI ho sakate jitanA ki unake dvArA pratipAdya ahiMsA koM pAlana karane se dikhA sakate haiN| yadi hama sacce antaraMgase zrIvIra ke upAsaka haiM to hameM Aja se yaha niyama hRdayaMgama karanA cAhiye ki hama apane AtmA ko hiMsA doSa se lipta na hone devage tathA Aja ke dina se kisI bhI prANI ke prati mana, vacana, kAya se duHkha na dene kA prayatna kareMge evaM kama se kama eka dina kI Aya paropakAra meM lgaaveNge| sAtha hI isa dina mana, vacana, kAyase saba pApoM kA tyAga kareMge aura usa tyAga meM brahmacarya vrata kI pUrNa rakSA kreNge| isa dina kA aisA nirmala AcAra hogA ki jise dekha anya ke pariNAma dayAparaka ho jaaveNge| ahiMsA kI paribhASA karane meM hI caturatA dikhalAne kI ceSTA na hogii| kintu usake pAlana meM anurAga hogaa| yadi hama antaraMga se ahiMsA ke upAsaka ho gae to anAyAsa hI hamArI yAtanAe~ palAyamAna ho jaaveNgii| hama caha ceSTA karate haiM ki saMsAra meM ahiMsA dharma kA pracAra ho, cAhe hamameM usakI gandha bhI na ho| sarvottama mArga to yaha hai ki hama apanI pravRtti ko nirmala banAne kA prayatna kreN| zrI mahAvIra svAmI ke jIvana carita se yahI zikSA lenI cAhie ki hama paMcendriyoM ke viSayoM se apane ko surakSita rakheM / AtmA meM ananta zakti hai| pratyeka AtmA meM vaha hai, parantu hama to itane kAyara ho gaye haiM ki apanI pariNati ko durbala samajha Upara caDhane kI koziza hI nahIM krte| eka svapna sonAgiri Aja ke dina parvata para zayana kiyaa| rAtri ko sundara svapna AyA, jisameM sara seTha hukumacandra jI se bAtacIta huii| Apako dhotI dupaTTA lete hue dekhA / Apa pUjana ke lie jA rahe the| maine Apase kahA ki 'Apa to svAdhyAya ke mahAn premI haiM para isa samaya pUjana ko jA rahe haiM, svAdhyAya kaba hogA? merI icchA thI ki Apake samAgama meM paNDitoM dvArA zAstrakA mArmika tattva vivecana For Personal & Private Use Only

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eka svapna 415 kiyA jaave| parantu Apako to pUjana karanA hai, isase avakAza nhiiN| acchA, maiM bhI ApakI pUjana dekhUgA aura puNya lAbha kruuNgaa| Apa sadRza Apa hI haiN|' sara seTha sahAba ne muskarAte hue kahA ki 'maiM pUjana kara abhI taiyAra hotA huuN| maine kahA-'yaha saba huaa| Apane Ajanma paNDitoMkA samAgama kiyA hai aura svayaM anubhava bhI kiyA hai| puNyodaya se saba prakAra kI sAmagrI bhI Apako sulabha hai, kintu kyA Apa isa bAhya vibhavako apanA mAnate haiM ? nahIM, kevala sarA~yakA sambandha hai| athavA "jyoM mele meM paMthI jana mila kareM nanda dharate / jyoM taruvara para raina basairA, pakSI A karate / / yaha saba ThATha karmaja hai......yaha bhI upacAra kathana hai| vastutaH na yaha ThATha hai aura na ve ThATha haiN| kevala hamArI mohakI kalpanA use yaha rUpa de rahI hai| vastu to saba bhinna-bhinna hI haiM, kevala hamArI kalpanAoM ne unheM nijatva rUpa de rakkhA hai| jisa dina yaha nijatva kI kalpanA miTa jAvegI usI dina AtmA kA kalyANa huA samajho, kyoMki jaba jIva ke samyagdarzana ho jAtA hai taba 'micchattahuNDa' ityAdi 41 prakRtiyA~ to ba~dhatI hI nahIM, jo pUrvakI sattA meM baiThI haiM, yadyapi unakA udaya AvegA to bhI usa prakAra kA bandha karane meM samartha nhiiN| astu, jo zatru abhI sattA meM sthita hai| use kyA kama samajhate ho ? bar3e-se-bar3e mahApuruSa bhI usake udaya meM apanA vAstavika prabhAva prakaTa nahIM kara ske| balabhadra se mahApuruSa bhI jaba mRta kalevara ko cha: mAsa liye ghUmate rahe taba anya alpazaktivAle mohI jIvoMkI kathA kyA hai ?' seTha jI kucha bolanA cAhate the ki merI nidrA bhaMga ho gaI-svapna TUTa gyaa| dillIyAtrAkA nizcaya grISmakAlakA uttApa vizeSa ho gayA thA, ata: yaha vicAra kiyA ki aisI tapobhUmimeM rahakara AtmakalyANa kruuN| mana meM bhAvanA thI ki zrI svarNagirimeM hI cAturmAsa karU~ aura isa kSetrake zAntimaya vAtAvaraNameM rhuuN| kSetrake mainejara zrI daulatarAmajIne Thaharane AdikI atisundara vyavasthAkI thI, jisase yahA~ saba prakArakA ArAma thaa| zrI manoharalAlajI varNI tathA bAbU ratanacandrajI sahAranapura cale gaye the| unake kucha samaya bAda samAjake utsAhI vidvAn paM. candramaulijI zAstrI sonAgiri Aye aura sAthameM paM. bhaiyAlAlajI bhajanasAgara ko bhI lete Aye aura dehalI calaneke liye preraNA karane lge| maiMne bahuta prayatna kiyA ki For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 416 mujhe yahA~se anyatra na jAnA pdd'e| parantu paM. candramaulijIne prabala preraNAkI aura dehalI jAkara tathA zrI lAlA rAjakRSNajIse milakara eka DepyuTezana laaye| DepyuTezanameM zrImAn lAlA rAya sA. ulaphatarAyajI, lAlA harizcandrajI, lAlA jugalakizorajI kAgajI, lAlA nemicandrajI jauharI, lAlA raghuvIrasiMhajI bijalIvAle tathA saMghake pradhAnamantrI paM. rAjendrakumArajI Adi the| isI samaya banArasase paM. mahendrakumArajI nyAyAcArya tathA paM. phUlacandra siddhAntazAstrI bhI A gye| ina sabane dehalI calanekA hArdika anurodha kiyaa| isase jainadharmake pracArakA vizeSa lAbha dikhalAyA, jisase maiMne dehalI calanekI svIkRti de dii| mArgameM saMgha kI saba vyavasthA karaneke lie lAlA rAjakRSNajIne paM. candramaulijIko nizcita kiyaa| paM. candramaulijI bahuta hI yogyatA aura tatparatAke sAtha saba prakArakI vyavasthA karate haiN| mArgameM sabhA AdikA Ayojana bhI karate haiN| samAja aise navayuvaka vidvAnoMko yadi kArya karanekA avasara pradAna kare to vizeSa lAbha ho sakatA hai| lazkarakI ora vaizAkha vadi 4 saM. 2006 ko prAtaHkAla sonAgirise calakara cA~dapura A gye| yaha grAma acchA hai| kula tIna sau ghara yahA~para haiN| unameM sau ghara yAdavavaMzI kSatriya, paccIsa ghara gahoI vaizya, pacAsa ghara brAhmaNa aura zeSa ghara itara jAtivAloMke haiN| yahA~ para eka skUla hai| usameM Thahara gye| skUlakA mAsTara bahuta uttama prakRtikA thaa| usane garmIke prakopake kAraNa apane Thaharaneke makAnameM ThaharA diyA aura Apa svayaM garmImeM Upara hI Thahara gyaa| bahuta hI ziSTatAkA vyavahAra kiyA tathA eka bahuta hI vilakSaNa bAta yaha huI ki mAsTara sAhabane samAdhitantra sunakara bahuta hI prasannatA prakaTa kii| usakI zraddhA jainadharmameM ho gaI aura usane usI dinase samAdhitantrakA abhyAsa prArambha kara diyA tathA usI dinase divasa-bhojana evaM pAnI chAnakara pInekA niyama le liyaa| isake sivA usane sabase uttama eka bAta yaha svIkRta kI ki garbhameM bAlaka Aneke bAda jaba taka bAlaka pA~ca yA chaha: mAsakA na ho jAve taba taka brahmacaryase rhnaa| sAthameM yaha nizcaya bhI kiyA ki merI gRhasthI jisa dina yogya ho jAvegI usa dinase dharmasAdhana kruuNgaa| bahuta hI nirmala prakRtikA AdamI hai| prAtaHkAla jaba maiM grAmase calane lagA taba taka eka mIla sar3aka taka sAtha aayaa| bahuta Agraha karaneke bAda vApisa gyaa| For Personal & Private Use Only

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lazkarakI ora 417 yahA~se cAra mIla calakara DabarA A gye| zrImANikacandra hajArIlAlajIkI dukAnapara Thahara gaye / hajArIlAlajI cAra bhAI haiM |prsprmeN inake saumanasya haiN| inake pitA bhI jIvita haiN| inake pitAke do dharmapatnI haiN| donoM hI bahuta sajjana haiN| atithike Anepara usakI pUrNa vaiyAvRtya karanemeM tatpara rahate haiN| yahA~ inakI dukAna acchI calatI hai| yahA~ para mandira nahIM hai, ataH usakI sthApanAke liye inake bhAI phUlacandrajI pUrNa prayatna kara rahe haiN| vaizAkha vadi 5 ko yahA~ sabhA huI, jisameM Apane zrI mandirajIke liye eka hajAra eka rupayA diye| samAjane bhI yathAyogya dAna kiyaa| eka mahAzayane to yahA~ taka utsAha dikhAyA ki kevala mandirahI nahIM pAThazAlA tathA dharmazAlA bhI bananA caahiye| yaha saba huA, parantu eka bhAIke pAsa muTThIkA rupayA thaa| vaha kahate the ki 'bhAI aisA na ho ki yaha kArya jisa prakAra aneka bAra ciTThA hokara bhI nahIM huA usI prakAra phira bhI na ho|' isI carcAmeM hI sabhA samApta ho gii| vaizAkha vadi 6 ko bhI sabhA huI, parantu usameM bhI vizeSa tattva na nikalA / anantara vaizAkha vadi 7 ko punaH sabhA huI, jisameM zrIcidAnandajI brahmacArI ne prabhAvaka bhASaNa diyaa| usakA bahuta hI adhika prabhAva par3A aura candA ho gyaa| bAbAjIne dopaharako jAkara saba rupaye vasUla kara diye| anantara yaha vicAra AyA ki zrIlAlajI seTha jaisavAlakA makAna paiMtAlIsa sau rupayAmeM liyA jaave| yaha vicAra sabane svIkRta kiyA tathA usIkI bagalameM lAlA rAmanAtha rAmajIne apanI jamIna de dI, jo ki sattara phuTa lambI pacapana phuTa caur3I thii| pazcAt phira bhI parasparameM manomAlinya ho gayA / antameM zrIlAlane kahA ki mandira to banegA hI aura mujhe jo rupaye mile haiM, ve isI mandirameM lagA duuNgaa| bahuta dera taka yahI bAtacIta hotI rahI, parantu punaH vivAda ho gyaa| maiMne madhyastha rahate hue kahA ki 'jo ho acchA hai| merA sabase sneha hai, ApakI icchA ho, so kreN|' prAtaHkAla aSTamIko sabhA huI, jisameM eka agravAla mahAnubhAvane, jo ki bAjAra kameTIke sadasya the, bahuta hI prayatna kiyA tathA Adeza bhI diyA ki mandirako candA ho jAnA cAhie, parantu kucha nahIM huaa| antameM nirAza hokara loga uTha gye| hama bhI nirAza hokara cale aaye| usa dina bhojanameM upayoga nahIM lagA, ataH pAnI lekara hI santoSa kiyaa| usakA prabhAva acchA pdd'aa| phala yaha huA ki zrIlAlajI Adi rAtrike ATha baje Aye aura unhoMne yaha nizcaya kiyA ki hamako jo rupaye mile haiM ve saba For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 418 mandira banAnemeM lagA deveMge, Apa nizcinta hokara zayana kriye| hama loga mandira banAkarahI raheMge tathA saMgamaramara vedikA mandirameM lagAyI jaavegii| zrIlAlajIne kahA ki hamAre pAsa jo kucha sampatti hai vaha prAyaH isI kAmameM aavegii| abhI kucha nahIM kahate, samaya pAkara saba kArya ho jAte haiN| adhIra honekI AvazyakatA nhiiN| kAryasiddhi kAraNakUTake AdhIna hai| adhIratA to sAmagrImeM bAdhaka hai, ataH hama loga Apako vizvAsa dete haiM ki bhAdramAsa taka niyamase maMdira bana jAvegA aura yadi dillIse ApakA prasthAna isa prAntameM huA to Apa svayaM darzana kreNge| vizeSa kyA kaheM ? Apase hamArA prema ho gayA hai| arthAt na jAne Apake udAsIna bhAvoMke prabhAvase hama Apase udAsa na hokara isake viruddha Apako apanA snehI mAnane lage haiN| isakA artha yaha hai ki udAsInatA vastu saMsAra-baMdhanako DhIlA karanevAlI hai aura sneha saMsArakA janaka hai, yaha ThIka hai, parantu ApameM jo hamArA sneha hai usakA yahI to artha hai ki jo vastu Apako iSTa hai vahI hameM priya hai| taba jo udAsInatA Apako iSTa hai vahI hamako bhI iSTa hai, ataH hama bhI prAyaH usIke upAsaka hue| matalaba yaha hai ki Apako yahA~ maMdira nirmANa iSTa hai| vaha hameM bhI sutarAM iSTa hai, ataH Apa nizcinta hokara zayana kariye, vizeSa kyA kaheM ? pazcAt ve loga apane-apane ghara cale gaye aura maiM bhI so gyaa| rAtriko svapnameM kyA dekhatA hU~ ki saMsArameM jo bhI padArtha hai vaha cAhe cidAtmaka ho, cAhe acidAtmaka; usakI sattA cidAtmaka dravya aura cidAtmaka guNa tathA acidAtmaka dravya aura acidAtmaka guNameM hI rhegaa| yadi cidAtmaka padArtha hai to cidAtmaka dravya aura cidAtmaka guNameM rahegI tathA acidAtmaka padArtha hai to acidAtmaka dravya aura acidAtmaka guNameM hI rhegii| hama vyartha hI kartA banate haiN| amukako yaha kara diyA, amukako vaha kara diyA, yaha saba hamArI mohakI kalpanA hai| jaba taka hamArI ye kalpanAe~ haiM tabhI taka saMsAra hai aura jaba taka saMsAra hai tabhI taka nAnA yAtanAoM ke pAtra haiN| jinheM isa saMsArakI yAtanAoMse apanI rakSA karanA hai ve ina mohajanya kalpanAoMko tyaageN| na koI kisIkA kalyANa karanevAlA hai, aura na koI kisIkA akalyANa karanevAlA hai| kalyANa aura akalyANakA kartA jIva svayaM haiN| jahA~ AtmA ina anAtmIya padArthoM se apane astitvako bhinna jAna letA hai vahA~ unake saMgraha karanekA anurAga svayameva tyAga detA hai aura unake pratipakSI padArthoM meM dveSa bhI isakA sahaja hI chUTa jAtA hai| For Personal & Private Use Only

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lazkarakI ora anAdikAlase isa AtmAkA anAtmIya padArthoMke sAtha saMsarga calA A rahA hai aura saMsargake eka kSetrAvagAhI honese una donoMmeM abhedabuddhi ho rahI hai / jo cetana padArtha hai vaha to dIkhatA nahIM aura jo acetana padArtha hai vahI dikhatA hai / pA~ca indriyA~ isake jJAnakI sAdhaka haiM, unake dvArA sparza, rasa, gandha, rUpa aura zabda inakA hI to bodha hotA hai / yadyapi jAnanevAlA jIva dravya hai, parantu vaha itanA nirbala ho gayA hai ki binA paudgalika dravyendriyake Alambanake dekhanemeM asamartha rahatA hai / jinakI dravyendriya vikRta ho jAtI haiM vaha nahIM jAna sktaa| jaise A~kha phUTa jAve to abhyantara bhAvendriyakA sadbhAva rahanepara bhI jJAnotpatti nahIM hotI / athavA jinakI bAhya netrendriya durbala ho jAtI hai vaha cazmAkA Azraya lekara dekhate haiM / yathArthameM dekhatA netra hI hai, parantu cazmAke Azraya binA bAhya netra dekhanemeM asamartha rahatA hai / isI prakAra dravyendriyake vikRta honepara Abhyantara iMdriya svakIya kArya karanemeM asamartha rahatI hai| isI taraha jJAtA-draSTA AtmA yadyapi svayaM jJAyaka haiM, parantu anAdikAlIna karmoMse malImasa honeke kAraNa apane Apako vedana karanemeM asamartha haiM, ataH mana indriyake Azraya binA na to apaneko jAna sakatA hai aura na 'yaha upAdeya hai, yaha heya hai' ise bhI jAnanemeM samartha rahatA hai / aba yadi AtmA saMjJI paJcendriya avasthAko prApta huA hai to apane svarUpako jAno, dekho tathA usImeM rama raho / ina parapadArthoMke samparkase baco, kyoMki inake saMsargase hI caturgati bhramaNa hai / yaha nizcita bAta hai ki jisa padArthameM tumhArI AtmIya buddhi hogI, kAlAntarameM vahI to milegA / jAgradavasthAmeM jisa padArthakA vizeSa saMsarga rahatA hai, svapnAvasthA meM vahI padArtha prAyaH sammukha A jAtA hai| yaha kyA hai ? saMskAra hI to hai / Apako samyakprakAra yaha vidita hai ki jaba bAlaka utpanna hotA hai taba mA~kA stanapAna karatA hai| use kisane zikSA dI ki stanako isa prakAra cUso / yahI saMskAra janmAntarakA sAdhaka hai| yahI jIvako jatAnevAlA hai - jisameM yaha saMskAra hai vahI jIva hai / jJAnakA Azraya hai / yahI jIvameM cetanAkA camatkAra hai / yahI ise itara dravyoMse bhinna karanevAlA asAdhAraNa guNa hai / yadi yaha na hotA to saMsArakI usa vyavasthAko, jo ki Aja bana rahI hai kauna jAnatA ? AtmAmeM eka jJAna hI guNa aisA hai jo ki apane svarUpako darzAtA hai aura anya padArthoMkI vyavasthA karatA hai| itanA hI usakA kAma hai ki vaha padArthoMko jAna leve| yaha padArtha heya hai, yaha upAdeya hai, yaha upekSaNIya hai, yaha usakA kAma 419 For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 420 nhiiN| yaha jo usameM hotA hai vaha upacArase hotA hai| anAdikAlase isa AtmAke sAtha mohakarmakA sambandha hai| isake udayameM AtmAkA jo cAritraguNa hai vaha vikRtarUpa ho jAtA hai aura taba yaha jIva anukUla padArthoM meM upAdeyabuddhi tathA pratikUla padArthoM meM heyabuddhikI kalpanA kara letA hai| isake sivAya jo padArtha na to anukUla hai aura na pratikUla hI, unameM upekSAbuddhi kara letA hai| DabarAse calakara bIcameM kaI sthAnoMpara Thahare, para koI vizeSa bAta nahIM huii| eka dina DAMgake mahAvIrake sthAnapara Thahara gye| yahA~para eka sAdhu mahAtmA thA, jo bahuta hI ziSTa thaa| bar3A hI saujanya usane dikhaayaa| hamAre yahA~ to kucha aisI paddhati ho gaI hai ki anyamatAvalambI sAdhuke sAtha yadi koI vinayase bartAva kare taba yaha kahane meM saMkoca nahIM ki tuma to vainayika mithyAdRSTi ho| astu, kucha buddhimeM nahIM aataa| jo dharma itanA upadeza detA hai ki ekendriya jIvakI bhI binA prayojana kSati na karo usakA vyavahAra saMjJI jIvoMke prati kitanA viziSTa hogA, yaha Apa jAna sakate haiN| gopAcalake aJcalameM DabarAse calakara kramazaH lazkara phuNce| yahA~ taka caukAkA prabandha sahAranapuravAloMkI orase vizeSa rUpase thaa| lazkarakI mahAvIra dharmazAlAmeM bArAta ThaharI thI, ataH terApanthI dharmazAlAmeM Thahara gye| dharmazAlA bahuta sundara hai| kUpakA jala bhI mIThA hai| vaizAkha mAsa honese garmIkA prakopa thA, ataH dinake samaya kucha becainI rahatI thii| parantu rAtrikA samaya Anandase jAtA thaa| yaha saba hone para bhI bAraha baje rAtri taka sinemAkI cahala-pahala rahatI thI, ataH nidrA mahArAnI rUSTa rahatI thii| hA~, bAraha bajese cAra baje taka Anandase nindrA AtI thii| anantara sAmAyika kriyAmeM kAla jAtA thaa| isake bAda pahAr3Ike Upara dIrghazaMkAse nivRtta ho zucikriyAke anantara zrImandirajImeM jAte the| sAr3he ATha bajese sAr3he nau baje taka svAdhyAyameM kAla jAtA thaa| yahA~para sarrAphAkA jo bar3A mandira hai usakI zobhA avarNanIya hai| isa mandirameM cAroM tarapha dahalAneM haiN| tIna tarapha bilakula kapATa nahIM haiN| eka ora jahA~ zrIjinadevakA Alaya hai kapATa lage haiN| bIcameM samayasaraNakI vedikA hai| usake dA~yeM-bA~yeM do vedikAe~ aura haiN| unameMse ekameM sphaTika maNike bimba haiM, jo bahuta hI manohara va eka phuTakI avagAhanAke haiN| dUsarI vedikAmeM bhI pASANa aura dhAtuke bahutase jinabimba haiN| mandirase bAhara eka dahalAnameM bahuta sundara For Personal & Private Use Only

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gopAcalake aJcalameM 421 citrAma haiN| do dvArapAla aise sundara bane haiM ki unake gahanoMmeM sacce motI jar3e hue haiN| isake bAda dahalAnameM eka koThI hai| usameM prAcIna pattharake atimanohara bimba vidyamAna haiN| lagabhaga 12 bimba hoNge| isake bAda eka dahalAna hai, jahA~ suvarNakA citrAma hai| isa citrAmameM 52 sera sonA lagA thA, aisA prAcIna manuSyoMkA kahanA thaa| aisA sundara dRzya hai ki hamAre dekhanemeM anyatra nahIM aayaa| caukameM saMgamarmara jar3A huA hai| vaha itanA vizAla hai ki do hajAra AdamI usameM baiTha sakate haiN| dahalAnake pIche eka kUpa aura snAnako sthAna hai| yahA~ rAtriko dIpaka nahIM jalAte aura na bijalI lagAte haiN| dhotI-dupaTTe chane pAnIse dhulavAte haiN| isa mandirake prabandhakartA zrI kanhaiyAlAlajI haiN| Apa bahuta hI yogya haiM, vidvAn bhI haiN| bhojanAdikI prakriyA Apake yahA~ yogya hai| Apake suputra mANikacandra vakIla haiN| Apa sonAgiri siddhakSetrake mantrI haiM tathA inake bhAI zrIgappUlAlajI haiM, jo bahuta hI vAkpaTu haiN| Apake do suputra haiN| donoM hI yogya haiM, parantu jaisI dhArmika ruci aura jaisA jJAna ApakA hai vaisA Apake aurasa putroMkA nhiiN| isakA mUla kAraNa Apa hI haiM, kyoMki Apane usa prakArakI zikSAse bAlakoMko dUra rakkhA / Apake pAsa itanI sacalA sampatti hai ki eka pAThazAlAkA kyA do pAThazAlAoMkA vyaya de sakate haiM, parantu usa ora lakSya nhiiN| yahA~para aura bhI bahuta manuSya aise haiM jo pAThazAlA calA sakate haiM, parantu par3hanA-par3hAnA eka Apatti mAnate haiN| isa mandirase thor3I dUra para eka dUsarA mandira terApanthakA hai, jisake saMrakSaka seTha mizrIlAlajI haiM, jo bahuta hI yogya haiN| mandira bahuta hI sundara banA huA hai| cAroM ora vAyukA saMcAra hai| gandhakuTImeM bahuta hI sundara bimba haiN| sphaTika maNike bimba bahuta hI manohara haiN| zrIpArzvanAtha bhagavAnkA bimba bahuta hI sAtizaya aura AkarSaka hai| usake. darzana kara saMsArakI mAyA viDambanArUpa a~cane lagatI hai| yahA~se calakara eka bar3A bhArI mandira bIsapantha AmnAyakA campAbAgameM hai| mandira bahuta bhavya hai| jaisA sarrAphAkA mandira hai, vaisA hI yaha mandira hai| isakA cauka aura isakI dahalAneM bahuta sundara haiN| vedikAmeM suvarNakA kAma bahuta hI cittAkarSaka hai| isake prabandhakartA zrI seTha gopIlAlajI sAhaba haiN| Apa suyogya mAnava haiN| ApakA jJAna acchA hai tathA isI mandirameM seTha budhamallajI sAhaba bhI haiM, jo yogya vyakti haiN| Apake suputra bhI yogya haiN| parantu unameM Apa jaisI dhArmika ruci nhiiN| Apa vyApArameM kuzala haiM, parantu For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 422 svAdhyAyameM taTastha haiN| ApakI mAtezvarI dhArmika haiN| koI bhI tyAgI Ave usakI vaiyAvRtya karanemeM ApakI nirantara pravRtti rahatI hai| kucha dUrI para nasiyAmeM zAntinAtha svAmIkI khaDgAsana manohara pratimA hai, jo eka katrima parvatake Azrayase virAjamAna kI gaI hai| pratimA prAcIna hone para bhI apanI sundaratA aura svacchatAse navIna-sI mAlUma hotI hai| ceharese zAnti TapakatI hai| yaha pratimA pAsake kisI vanakhaNDase yahA~ lAI gaI thii| ukta mandiroMke sivA yahA~ aura bhI aneka mandira haiN| garmIke prakopake kAraNa maiM unake darzanase vaJcita rhaa| __ yaha saba hokara bhI yahA~para koI aisA vidyAyatana nahIM ki jisameM bAlaka dhArmika zikSA pA skeN| campAbAgakI dharmazAlAmeM pahu~cate hI mujhe usa dinakI smRti A gaI, jisa dina ki maiM sarva prathama adhyayana karaneke liye bAIjI ke pAsase jayapurako ravAnA huA thA aura Akara isI campAbAgameM ThaharA thaa| jaba taka maiM nagarake bAhara zaucakriyAke liye gayA thA taba taka kisIne tAlA kholakara merA saba sAmAna curA liyA thaa| mere pAsa sirpha eka loTA aura eka chatarI aura chaha AnA paise bace the aura maiM nirAza hokara paidala hI ghara vApisa lauTa gayA thaa| yahA~se calakara vaisAkha sudi 5 ko gopAcalake darzana karaneke liye gyaa| gopAcala kyA hai ? digambara jaina saMskRtikA dyotaka sabase mahattvapUrNa sthAna hai| yahA~ parvatakI bhittiyoMse vizAlakAya jinabimba kuzala kArIgaroMke dvArA mahArAja dUMgarasiMhake samayameM nirmitta kiye gaye the| lAkhoM rupayA usa kAryameM kharca huA hogaa| para mugalasAmrAjyakAlameM ve saba pratimAe~ TA~kIse khaNDita kara dI gaIM haiN| kitanI hI padmAsana mUrtiyA~ to itanI vizAla haiM ki jitanI upalabdha pRthivImeM kahIM nahIM hoNgii| khaNDita pratimAoMke avalokanase manameM vicAra AyA ki Aja kalake manuSya navIna mandiroMke nirmANameM lAkhoM rupayA lagA dete haiM, parantu koI aisA udAra hRdayavAlA nahIM nikalatA jo ki ina pratimAoMke uddhArameM bhI kucha lgaataa| yadi koI yahA~kA uddhAra kare to bhAratavarSameM yaha sthAna advitIya kSetra ho jAve, parantu yaha honA kaThina hai| paJcamakAla hai, ataH aisI sumatikA honA kaThina hai| lazkarake campAbAgameM lAkhoM rupayoMkI lAgatake duSkara mandira haiM, parantu kilekI pratimAoMke uddhArake liye kisIne prayatna nahIM kiyA aura na isakI AzA hai| hA~, sambhava hai tIrthakSetra kameTIkI dRSTi isa ora aave| parantu vaha bhI asambhava hai, kyoMki usake pAsa For Personal & Private Use Only

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gopAcalake aJcalameM 423 nau rupayAkI Aya aura gyAraha rupayAkA vyaya hai| yadi kisI bhAgyavAnke cittameM A jAve to anAyAsa isa kSetrakA uddhAra ho sakatA hai| manameM duHkhabharI sA~sa letA huA vahA~se calA aura DhAI mIla calakara svargIya gulAbacandrajI seThake bAgameM, jisake ki mAlika zrIgaNezIlAlajI sAhaba khaNDelavAla haiM, hama loga Thahara gaye / bAga bahuta hI manohara aura bhavya hai| bIcameM eka sundara bhavana banA hai, jisameM pA~casau AdamI pravacana suna sakate haiN| bhavanake cAroM ora cAra sundara dahalAne haiN| cAroM ora cAra pakke mArga haiN| mArgameM vRkSAvalI hai| uttarakI ora pacAsa hAtha calakara eka sundara bhavana banA huA hai, jisameM do gRhastha raha sakate haiN| pazcimakI ora eka bhojanabhavana hai, jisameM pacAsa AdamI eka sAtha bhojana kara sakate haiN| dakSiNakI ora rAjamArgake taTapara eka sundara mandira banA huA hai, jisase AgantukoMko dharmasAdhanakI suvidhA rahatI hai| yahA~para Anandase hama loga rahane lge| kisI prakArakI vyagratA nahIM rhii| yahA~se murAra Der3ha mIla hai| vahA~se pratidina do caukA Ate the| yahIM para Agata brahmacAriyoM aura atithi mahAzayoM kA bhojana hotA thaa| do atithiyoMmeM eka zrIpUrNasAgara kSullaka bhI the| caraNAnuyogakI paddhatise yadyapi bahutase manuSya isa bhojanacaryAko sadoSa kaha sakate haiM, parantu vartamAna kAlako dekhakara santoSa karanA hI acchA hai| garmIkA prakopa adhika thA, isase prAyaH murAra jAnA nahIM hotA thaa| garmI ke dina zAntise biite| murAravAloMne saba tarahakI suvidhA kara dii| kisI bhI bAhya ApattikA sAmanA na karanA pdd'aa| kucha pAnI barasa gayA, jisase ThaNDA mAlUma huA aura Age jAnekA nizcaya kiyaa| parantu murAra samAjake prema tathA Agrahase vahIM caturmAsa karanekA nizcaya karanA pdd'aa| paNDita candramaulijI sAtha the| unhoMne saba tyAgI maNDalI tathA AnevAle yAtrI mahAnubhAvoMkI sundara vyavasthA kI aura samayasamayapara honevAle AyojanoMko parizramapUrvaka saphala bnaayaa| Apa eka kuzala vyavasthApaka haiN| parvake bAda zrAvaNa vadi ekamako vIrazAsana jayantIkA utsava samArohake sAtha huaa| zrImAn paNDita jugalakizorajI mukhtAra sAhabake zubhAgamanase bahuta hI tattvacarcA huii| paM. darabArIlAlajI nyAyAcArya tathA paM. paramAnandajI zAstrI bhI Apake sAtha the| Apa logoMke dvArA prAcInatAkI bahuta khoja huI hai| usakA For Personal & Private Use Only

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merI jIvanagAthA 424 prakAzita honA Avazyaka hai| samaya pAkara hI hogaa| jitanI AvazyakatA prAcIna sAhityakI rakSA karanekI hai utanI hI saMskRtajJa vidvAnoMkI bhI hai| yaha sambandha bIjavRkSavat hI rahanemeM samAjakA hita hai| jitane dhArmika kArya haiM unameM ye vidvAn hI to mUla hote haiN| isI utsavameM banArasase paM. phUlacandrajI, paM. kailAzacandrajI, paM. pannAlAlajI kAvyatIrtha, sAgarase paM. dayAcandrajI, paM. pannAlAlajI sAhityAcArya, bInAse paM. baMzIdharajI vyAkaraNAcArya Adi aneka vidvAn padhAre the| anya janatA bhI yathAyogya AI thii| vidvatpariSad kAryakAriNI samitikI baiThaka bhI isa samaya huI thii| murArakI samAjane sabake khAna-pAnakI sundara vyavasthA kI thii| do dina utsava rahA, bAdameM saba loga cale gye| isake bAda Anandase hama logoMkA kAla bItane lgaa| bhAdramAsameM pA~ca dina lazkara aura chaha dina murArameM bIte / zAhapurase paM. zItalacandrajI, khataulIse paM. trilokacandrajI, salAvAse paM. hukumacandrajI aura sahAranapurase paM. ratanacandrajI tathA zrImAn vakIla nemicandrajI sAhaba aura magarapurase lAlA maMgalasenajI bhI A gye| khataulIse lAlA khicaur3ImallajI sAhaba barAbara do mAsa rhe| ApakA caukA prAyaH pratidina lagatA thaa| Apa nirantara tIna pAtroMko bhojana dAna dekara bhojana karate the| Apa cha: mAsameM tIna bAra rahe aura nirvidhana rahe / Apa dAnazUra haiN| Apake niyama akATya haiN| saMyamI haiN| paropakArI bhI bahuta haiN| Apa vyApAra nahIM krte| kucha rupayA hai, usIke byAjase nirvAha karate haiN| ApakA pUjanakA niyama hai| svAdhyAya bhI niyamita karate haiN| __ ina sabake samAgamase vratoMke dina sAnanda bIte / kSullaka pUrNasAgarajIne lazkarameM jAtisaMghaTanakA kArya prArambha kara diyA aura prAyaH usameM saphala bhI hue| merA upayoga gopAcalakI bhagna pratimAoMke sudhArakI ora gyaa| kaI mahAnubhAvoMne usake liye dravya pradAna karanemeM saMkoca na kiyaa| sabase prathama zrIyut candAbAIjI sAhaba ArAne pA~casau rupayA diye| isake bAda eka hajAra rupaye siMghaI kArelAla kundanalAlajI sAgaravAloMne bhI diye| isI taraha murAravAloMne AhAradAnake samaya hajAroM rupaye isa kAryake liye diye| zrIseThI saMskaraNajIne apanA samaya sudhAra karanemeM lagAyA, parantu balihArI isa samayakI ki jisase akAraNa hI virodha honese kucha vidhna aagyaa| sambhava hai virodha miTaneke bAda yaha kArya punaH prArambha hokara acchI taraha samApta hogA, jisase For Personal & Private Use Only

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gopAcalake aJcalameM 425 gopAcala eka pavitra kSetra bana jaayegaa| parva samApta honepara saba loga apane-apane sthAna para cale gaye aura hama Anandase brahmacArIgaNake sAtha svAdhyAyameM kAla lagAne lge| nirantara aneka manuSya Ate the| eka vedAntI mahAnubhAva prAyaH pratidina AyA karate the aura unake sAtha eka sAdhu bhii| donoM hI jijJAsu the| unameM eka mahAzaya bahuta hI kuzala the| vedAntameM unakI akATya zraddhA thii| jainadharmake vyAkhyAna sunakara unake cittameM prasannatA hotI thii| parantu unakI yaha dRr3ha zraddhA thI ki yaha saba prapaJca mithyA hai| mAyAse hI saba dikhatA hai| vastutaH kucha hai nhiiN| paryAyadRSTise satya hai, yaha unako mAnya nhiiN| vyavahArasatya mAnate haiN| vyavahArasatya vyavahArakAlameM to hai hI, parantu phira bhI mithyA kahanA kucha saMgata nahIM mAlUma pdd'taa| astu, unake Anese tAttvika carcA ho jAtI thii| bhAdoke bAda Azvina mAsa bhI acchA biitaa| kArtikameM dIpAvalIkA utsava sAnanda huaa| yahA~ zrIdInAnAthajI jaina agravAlane, jo eka utsAhI puruSa haiM, aSTAhnikA parvake samaya zrIsiddhacakra vidhAna krvaayaa| jisameM puSkala dravya vyaya kiyaa| daza hajAra manuSyoMko bhojana karAyA, pA~ca hajAra rupayA vidyAdAnameM diye, gyAraha sau rupayA zrIkSullaka pUrvasAgarajIke AdezAnusAra gvAliyarakI pAThazAlAke liye aura eka sau rupayA zrI gopAcalake jIrNoddhArameM bhI pradAna kiye| utsavake samaya bAharase aneka gaNamAnya vidvAnoMko bhI AmaMtrita kiyA thaa| una sabakI saMsthAoMko bhI yathAyogya dAna diyA thaa| banArasase paM. phUlacandrajI, paM. mahendrakumArajI, paM. pannAlAlajI kAvyatIrtha tathA sAgarase paM. pannAlAlajI sAhityAcArya, paM. munnAlAlajI samagaurayA bhI padhAre the| paM. candramaulijI vahA~ the hii| prAcIna paMDita jhammanalAlajI tarkatIrtha bhI, jo ki Ajakala kalakattA rahate haiM, Aye the| pratiSThAcArya paM. sUrajapAlajI the| ATha dina taka dInAnAtha bAgameM svAdhyAya, pravacana Adi bar3e samAroha hote rhe| paM. candramaulijI vidvAnoMke bhASaNa AdikI uttama vyavasthA karate the| isI utsavake samaya eka dina sarvadharma-sammelana huA, eka dina kavi-sammelana huA aura eka dina strI-sammelana bhI huA, jisameM mahArAjA gvAliyarakI mahArAnI bhI AIM thiiN| Apane Agata jaina samAjakI mahilAoMko bahuta hI rocaka vyAkhyAna diyaa| paM. mahendrakumArajI aura paM. phUlacandrajIke vyAkhyAna bahuta hI rocaka hue| utsava samApta huaa| saba loga yathAsthAna gye| eka bAta yahA~ para huI, jo ki isa utsavake pahale kI hai, zrIphUlacandrajIne Jain Education International :..... For Personal & Private Use Only . .. .... . onlaiorrivateuse only

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merI jIvanagAthA 426 eka dina bhojana karAyA aura paccIsa hajAra borDiMga banane ke liye diye| dasa hajAra zrI gappUlAlajI aura sAta hajAra zrIphUlacandra buddhUmalajI seThase bhI mile| isI prakAra anya vyaktiyoMne bhI sahayoga kiyaa| AzA hai aba zIghra hI borDiMga bana jAvegA / yahA~ usakI bar3I AvazyakatA hai| zrIyuta seTha baijanAthajI sarAvagI bhI kalakattAse yahA~ pdhaare| unhoMne borDiMga banavAnemeM yahA~kI samAjako adhika preraNA dii| paccIsasau rupayA sthAyI phaNDameM svayaM diye tathA pA~casau rupayA gopAcalakI mUrtiyoMke uddhAra kAryameM pradAna kiye| zrIyuta hIrAlAlajI aura gaNezalAlajIke prabandhase yahA~ mujhe koI kaSTa nahIM huA aura gopAcalake aJcalameM mere lagabhaga sAta mAha sAnanda vyatIta hue| murArase agahana vadi 4 saM. 2475 ko dehalIkI ora prasthAna kiyaa| prasthAnake samaya paM. rAjendrakumArajI, paM. phUlacandrajI, paM. mahendrakumArajI, paM. candramaulijI, paM. munnAlAjI samagaurayA tathA zyAmalAlajI pANDavIya Adike bhASaNa hue| murArase cala kara gvAliyara aaye| pAnI barasaneke kAraNa yahA~ tIna dina taka ThaharanA pdd'aa| zrI kSullaka pUrNasAgarake prayatnase hI yahA~ pAThazAlAke liye pA~ca hajArakA nagada candA ho gayA aura eka mahAzayane pandraha hajArakI kImatakA makAna denA svIkRta kiyA tathA eka vRddha mAtAne apanI hI dukAna pAThazAlAko denekA nizcaya prakaTa kiyaa| yahA~ zrIpannAlAlajI agravAla bahuta hI utsAhI vyakti haiN| For Personal & Private Use Only

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hamAre pramukha upalabdha prakAzana pustaka kA nAma lekhaka/saMpAdaka/anu. 1. merI jIvana gAthA, bhAga 1 kSu. gaNezaprasAda varNI 2. merI jIvana gAthA, bhAga 2 kSu. gaNezaprasAda varNI 3. jaina sAhitya kA itihAsa, bhAga-1 paM. kailAzacandra zAstrI 4. jaina sAhitya kA itihAsa, bhAga-2 paM. kailAzacandra zAstrI 5. jaina sAhitya kA itihAsa (pUrva pIThikA) paM. kailAzacandra zAstrI 6. jaina darzana (saMzodhita saMskaraNa) paM. mahendra kumAra nyAyAcArya 7. tattvArthasUtra (dvitIya saMskaraNa) paM. phUlacandra zAstrI 8. maMdira vedI-pratiSThA evaM kalazArohaNa vidhi, DA. pannAlAla sAhityAcArya 6. anekAnta aura syAdvAd (dvitIya saMskaraNa) pro. udayacanda jaina 10. tattvArthasAra paM. pannAlAla sAhityAcArya 11. varNI adhyAtma-patrAvalI, bhAga-1 zrI gaNezaprasAda varNI 12. samayasAra-pravacana sahita (tRtIya saMskaraNa) zrI gaNezaprasAda varNI 13. zrAvakadharma-pradIpa (tRtIya saMskaraNa) paM. jagamohanalAla zAstrI 14. bhadrabAhu-cANakya-candragupta pro. rAjArAma jaina 15. AtmAnuzAsana paM. phUlacandra zAstrI 16. yogasAra (vidyArthI saMskaraNa) DA. kamaleza kumAra jaina 17. jaina nyAya, bhAga-2 paM. kailAzacandra zAstrI 18. svayambhUstotra-tattvadIpikA paM. udayacandra jaina 16. devIdAsa-vilAsa DA. vidyAvatI jaina 20. adhyAtmapada-parijAta pro. kanchedIlAla jaina 21. siddhAMtAcArya paM. phUlacandra zAstrI abhinandana graMtha 22. siddhAMtAcArya paM. kailAzacandra zAstrI abhinandana graMtha 23. akiMcitkaraH eka anuzIlana paM. phUlacandra zAstrI 24. laghIyastraya paM. kailAzacandra zAstrI 25. sAra samuccayaH bra. zItala prasAda jaina 26. saMskRta sAmAyika pATha paM. pannAlAla sAhityAcArya siddhAMtAcArya paMDita phUlacandra zAstrI phAuMDezana, rUr3akI - 247667 1. jainatattvamImAMsA (tRtIya saMskaraNa) paM. phUlacandra zAstrI 2. satyAnveSI ekAdaza paM. phUlacandra zAstrI 3. sindhu-sarasvatI sabhya pro. subhASacandra guptA 4. yaha jIvana kaThina suzrI jJAnamAlA jaina 5. dhavala-jayadhavala sAra paM. javAharalAla zAstrI 6. jainadharma-darzana ke prAca135413 pro. lakSmIcandra jaina 7. SaTkhaNDAgama kA bhASAnavajJAna ( DA. satyaraMjana banarjI 8. guruparamparA se prApta jaina AgamaH eka itihAsa pro. ema.DI.vasaMtarAja 6. SaTkhaNDAgamaH dhavalA (jIvasthAna) (aMgrejI) DA. nandalAla jaina 10. prAcIna jJAna-vijJAna kI amUlya dharohara:jaina pANDulipiyA~ evaM zilAlekha pro.rAjArAma jaina 11. caurAsI bola pro. padmanAbha esa. jainI (presa meM) Jain E1RaipaMDitajI (paM. phUlacandra zAstrI ke jIvana tathA kAryoM para eka dRSTi) saMpAdita graMtha orary.org | Serving Jin Shasan ayanmandirakobatirth.org