Anuttar Yogi Tirthankar Mahavir Part 02

Author(s): Virendrakumar Jain
Publisher: Veer Nirvan Granth Prakashan Samiti
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/003846/1

Page #1
anuttara yogIH 2 tIrthaMkara mahAvIra vIrendrakumAra jaina Waindicatica nalisi Fame Personal and flat se www n og

Page #2
rAma, kRSNa, buddha, krIsta Adi sabhI pramukha jyotidharoM para, saMsAra meM sarvatra hI, Adhunika sRjana aura kalA kI sabhI vidhAoM meM paryApta kAma huA hai| prakaTa hai ki atimAnavoM kI isa zreNI meM kevala tIrthaMkara mahAvIra hI aise haiM, jina para Aja taka koI mahattvapUrNa sRjanAtmaka kRti prastuta na ho skii| prastuta upanyAsa isa dizA meM, sArI duniyA meM isa prakAra kA sarvaprathama zuddha sRjanAtmaka prayAsa hai| yahA~ pahalI vAra bhagavAna ko, paccIsa sadI vyApI sAmpradAyikata. jar3a kArAgAra se muvata karake unake nisarga vizva-puruSa / meM prakaTa kiyA gayA hai| upalabdha srotoM meM mahAvIra-jIvana ke jo yatkici upAdAna milate haiM, unake AdhAra para racanA karanA, eka ati duHsAdhya karma thaa| pracalita itihAsa meM bhI mahAvIra kA vyaktitva aneka bhrAnta aura paraspara virodhI dhAraNAoM se DhaMkA huA hai| aise meM kalpaka manISA ke apratima dhanI, prasiddha va.vi-kathAkAra aura maulika cintaka zrI vIrendrakumAra jaina ne, apane pAradarzI vijana-vAtAyana para sIdhesIdhe mahAvIra kA antaHsAkSAtkAra karake, unheM racane kA eka sAhasika prayoga kiyA hai| hajAroM varSoM ke bhAratIya purANa-itihAsa, dharma, saMskRti, darzana, adhyAtma kA atalagAmI manthana karake, lekhaka ne yahA~ ThIka itihAsa ke paTa para mahAvIra ko jIvanta aura jvalanta kiyA hai| mAnava ko atimAnava ke rUpa meM, aura atimAnava kA mAnava ke rUpa meM ekabAragI hI racanA, kisI bhI racanAkAra ke lie eka duHsAdhya kasauTI hai| vIrendra isa kasauTI para kitane khare utare haiM, isakA nirNaya to prabuddha pAThaka aura samaya svayam hI kara skegaa| pahalI bAra yahA~ zizu, bAlaka, kizora, yuvA, tapasvI, tIrthaMkara aura bhagavAna mahAvIra, nitAnta manuSya ke rUpa meM sAMgopAMga avatIrNa hue haiN| DhAI hajAra varSa bAda phira Apa yahA~, mahAvIra ko TIka abhI aura Aja ke bhAratavarSa kI dharatI para calate hue dekheNge| aitihAsika aura parAaitihAsika mahAvIra kA eka adbhuta samarasa sAmaMjasya isa upanyAsa meM sahaja hI siddha ho sakA hai| dikkAla-vijetA yogIzvara mahAvIra yahA~ pahalI bAra kavi ke vijana dvArA, itihAsavidhAtA ke rUpa meM pratyakSa aura mUrtimAna hue haiN| . isa kRti ke mahAvIra kI vANI meM hamAre yuga kI tamAma vaMyaktika, sArvajanika, bhautika-Atmika, sAmAjika, Arthika, rAjanItika samasyAe~ anAyAsa pratidhvanita huI haiM, aura unakA maulika samAdhAna bhI prastuta haA hai| vIrendra ke mahAvIra ekabAragI hI prAsaMgika aura prajJA-puruSa haiM, zAzvata aura samakAlIna haiN| * ananta asIma avakAza aura kAla ke bodha ko yahA~ sRjana dvArA aindrika anubhUti kA viSaya banAyA gayA hai| aindrika aura atIndrika anubhUtisaMvedana kA aisA saMyojana vizva-sAhitya meM virala hI milatA hai| sUjana dvArA AdhyAtmika cetanA ko manovijJAna pradAna karane kI dizA meM yaha apane DhaMga kA eka nirAlA prayoga hai| . vIrendra bAlapana se hI apane Antarika antarikSa aura For Personal and Private Use Only zeSa AkharI phlaipa para Jain Educational international

Page #3
anuttara yogIH tIrthaMkara mahAvIra vIrendrakumAra jaina zrI vIra nirvANa graMtha-prakAzana samiti, indaura

Page #4
maMtrI : bAbUlAla pATodI, zrI vIra nirvANa graMtha-prakAzana-samiti, 48, sItalAmAtA bAjAra, indaura-2, madhya pradeza AvaraNa-citra : mathurA myUjiyama meM saMgrahIta, lagabhaga cauthI sadI kA jaina tIrthaMkara-mastaka : pIle retiyA patthara meM zilpita / mathurA myUjiyama ke saujanya se| (c) vIrendrakumAra jaina * anuttara yogI : tIrthaMkara mahAvIra upanyAsa vIrendrakumAra jaina sarvAdhikAra surakSita . prakAzaka : zrI vI. ni.naM.pra. samiti, | All rights reserved 48, sItalAmAtA bAjAra, indaura-2 * prathama AvRtti : 1100 vIra nirvANa samvat 2500 IsvI san : 1975 * dvitIya AvRtti 1500 vIra nirvANa saMvat 2505 IsvI san 1979 * mUlya : tIsa rupaye mudraka : naI duniyA presa, J indaura-2

Page #5
virAjamAna caraNoM meM : vartamAna meM cA~danapura meM jIvanta trailokyezvara zrI mahAvIra prabhu ke vizvadharma ke adhunAtana pUjya munIzvara zrI vidyAnanda svAmI ke sArasvata kara-kamaloM maMtra - draSTA meM ciraMjIvI jyotIna aura saubhAgyavatI yUtA ko unake antara- rASTrIya vivAha ( 15 agasta, 1975) upalakSye : isa kAraNa ki kAlidAsa kI zakuntalA, goithe kI kavitA meM saundarya-snAna karake hamAre ghara sarasvatI hokara lauTa AyI : jarmana kanyA yUtA

Page #6

Page #7
dvitIya khaNDa asidhArA patha kA yAtrI

Page #8

Page #9
anukrama 14 101 111 . 1. tattva kA vasanta 2. mandaracArI AkAza-puruSa 3. bhaya-bhairava ke rAjya meM 4. appa devo bhava bujjhaha, bujjhaha, caNDakauzika cakravatiyoM kA cakravartI 7. avasarpiNI kA vidUSaka : maMkhali gozAlaka 8. mukti-mArga : saba kA apanA-apanA 9. kevala AkAza, merA ceharA 10. nara-bhakSiyoM ke deza meM 11. aNu-aNu merA AgAra ho jAye 12. kauna uttara detA hai 13. sarvatobhadra puruSa : sarvatobhadrA kA AliMgana 14. mArajayI madana-mohana 15. nirAle haiM tere khela, o antarjJAnI 16. tadrUpa bhava, madrUpa bhava, Atman 17. jo yahA~ hai, vahI vahA~ hai 18. maiM candana bAlA bola rahI hU~ 19. antara-dvIpa kI ekAkinI rAjakanyA 20. dAsiyoM kI dAsI candanA 21. kahAM hai vaha azrumukhI rAjabAlA 22. sRSTi kA ekameva abhiyukta, maiM 23. bhagavAna nahIM, manuSya cAhiye 24. ziva aura zakti 25. kAmadhenu pRthvI kA carama dohana 119 129 148 154 161 172 181 192 203 210 217 231 243

Page #10
ho yA maiM hU~ 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. AtmA kA paramANu visphoTa 33. kaivalya ke prabhA maNDala meM maiM hU~, ki nahIM hU~ carama ekalatA ke kinAre bhItara khulate vAtAyanoM para mana ke pAra jAnA hogA antardeza kI antarikSa yAtrA 256 271 287 307 318 328 343 354

Page #11
tatva kA vasanta * 'jana-rava kI DUbatI rekhA ke chora ko sunA / dekhA bhI / nIrava sannATA chA gayA / hemantI sA~jha kA kuharA gaharAtA jA rahA hai / himAnI havA meM rakta jama rahA hai : asthiyA~ biMdha rahI haiM / dekha-dekhate pAyA ki svayam hI himavAna ho gayA hU~ : avicala, nispanda / zIta kI vedhakatA kahA~ kho gaI : sparza jaisA kucha aba nahIM raha gayA hai| dekha rahA hU~, himAvarta, ujjvala aura antrliin| kevala svayam aap| ghirate pradoSa ke nIhAra-prAntara ke taTa para, kahIM koI nadI kI rekhA cupacApa sirA gii| dUra kA vaha pahAr3a vilupta hokara, cAroM ora ghirI isa vanAnI ke jhAr3a ho gyaa| * dekha rahA hU~, kevala eka per3a ko apane pAsa cupacApa saraka Ate hue| vaha behicaka calA AyA mere bhItara : aura sahasA hI lagA ki AkAra mAtra niHzeSa ho gaye / __eka athAha aMdhakAra ke sivAya kahIM aura kucha nahIM hai| Adi meM andhakAra hai, anta meM andhakAra hai| madhya meM bhI vahI hai / aphATa aura antima andhakAra / naraka kI antima pRthivI mahAtamaHprabhA bhI isameM kho gaI hai| usake tale kA ghora timirAndha nigodiyA jIvoM kA saMsAra bhI isameM vijita ho gayA hai / loka ko AveSTita kiye hue tInoM vAtavalaya isa pragAr3ha tamorAzi meM tIna dhAgoM-se vizIrNa, hote dikhAI par3e ! * * 'zeSa raha gayA hai kevala alokAkAza kA ananta vyApI andhakAra |yh zuddha aura tAtvika andhakAra kA loka hai| abhAva kI isa tamisrA meM apanI sattA bhI sirAtI laga rahI hai / cunautI sAmane hai, ki kyA isako taira. sakUgA? * . 'are kauna, kise taire? kauna hU~ maiM * * kauna ? * patA nhiiN| para pAtA hU~ ki, isase bhI pare ke eka virATa nairjanya meM apane ko ekAkI khar3A dekha rahA huuN| yahA~ Adi, anta aura kAla taka jaise nahIM hai / svayam Apa, nitAnta ekAkI ho rahane ke atirikta yahA~ kucha saMbhava nahIM / nagna aura nitAnta sattA, nirAdhAra aura nirAlamba / vinAza aura visarjana kI sImAe~ jAne kaba kahA~ chUTa giiN| bhayAnakatA yahA~ anajAnI hai| bhaya eka anAtha bAlaka-sA ghuTane Teke pairoM ke pAsa A baiThA hai / vaha zaraNa khoja rahA hai mere bhItara / isa nagna aura nirIha

Page #12
kAyA meM, merI jur3I jA~ghoM ke gaharAva meM chupa kara, vaha vilupta ho jAne ko vyAkula hai| ___andhakAra kI isa abhedyatA meM ekAeka kucha darAreM-sI par3I / isa bhaya ke chupane kI guphAe~ bhI Atma-nivedana karatI-sI sAmane AIM / vyathA, viyoga, ekAkIpana / bichur3ana kA eka asahya nAgadaMza / * * ghane kuhare aura a~dhiyAre kI pragAr3ha pa? meM dikhAI par3A, koI Alokita mahala / - 'nandyAvarta ? eka sUnA kakSa, eka parityakta zaiyA / * * *eka aura ratna-dIpAlokita kakSa kI do jur3I zaiyAe~ / . . . priyakAriNI, tumhArI chaTapaTAhaTa ko dekha rahA huuN| samajha rahA hU~ / kevala apanI hI bichur3ana ko, vyathA ko, ekAkIpana ko dekhogI? kisI daridra kI jhopar3I meM bilakhatI usa akelI mA~ ko nahIM dekhogI, jisakA ikalautA beTA Aja hI savere isa parAye, nirmama saMsAra meM use akelI chor3a gayA hai ? use AzvAsana dene vAlA bhI koI nahIM hai / - 'apane hI ekAnta ke sannATe meM chAtI tor3atI, bilapatI usa yuvatI vidhavA ko nahIM dekhogI ? * * vaha tumhAre lar3akapana kI zephAlI : usake sAre parijana ro-dhokara, hAra kara so gaye haiM / sabake hote bhI vaha kitanI akelI hai ! hai kahIM koI usakA sahArA ? koI kisI ko yahA~ kabhI sahArA de sakA hai ? tumhArI deha para samartha siddhArtharAja kI AzvAsana bharI bAhu par3I hai| aura jagata kI madutama zaiyA kI USmA meM tuma soI ho / * para kyA nahIM dekhogI, prajAoM kI mA~ hokara, ve karor3oM jhopar3iyA~, jahA~ antahIna abhAva, dainya, bhUkha-pyAsa, roga, viyoga, mRtyu ke mukha meM, jAne kitanI hI AtmAe~, apane A~sU Apa hI poMchatI huI, pItI huI, jIne ko majabUra haiM ? Apa hI apane ko pucakAra kara jo sulA rahI haiM / bhItarabAhara, kahIM koI sahArA, AzA, bhaviSya jinakA nahIM hai / suno trizalA, merI yaha nagna chAtI yadi una sabako AzvAsana, Alamba, USmA dene ko lokAloka kA taTa bana gaI hai Aja, to kyA tuma yoM zoka karogI? itanI svArthinI banogI? kyA merA yaha antima Alamba-vakSa bhI tumheM sahArA nahIM de pAtA ? dekho na, pAsa hI tAta kitane zAnta, apanI vyathA ko apane meM samAye, nispanda leTe haiM, tumheM apanI bAhuoM meM Azvasta karane ko vikala...! vainA, somezvara * * *apane A~sU mujhe do : mujha meM bhaao| jar3a zUnya meM unheM vyartha na kro| vyathA, vichoha, ekAkIpana ? aNu-aNu ke bIca par3I khaMdakoM ke kinAre maiM khar3A hU~ / ho sake to, unheM apane carama astitva se pATa dene ke liye / apanI parama prIti se unheM antima yoga meM saMyukta kara dene ke liye / * * 'kAna meM jisake ubalatA sIsA bahA diyA gayA hai| vaha jo kahIM koI maraNa kI antima sA~seM le rahA hai : rAjamahala kI zaiyA para ho yA jhopar3I ke cithar3oM meN| kitanA ekAkI hai vaha koI bhI, kitanA asahAya ! . . . naraka kI vaitaraNI meM jo apane hI khUna kI ubalatI kar3hAI meM khadabadA rahA

Page #13
hai; vaha sUkSmatama nigoda jIva, jo nirupAya eka sA~sa meM aThAraha bAra janmamaraNa ke kaSTa ko saha rahA hai / vaha rakta-pIpa se lathapatha, galita-palita kor3hI, jisakI ora koI A~kha uThA kara dekhanA bhI nahIM cAhatA / kitane akele haiM ve saba ? unakI vyathA, unake vichoha kI kalpanA taka se manuSya bacatA hai| . . . lekina apane hI ekAkIpana, pIr3ana, viyoga, saMtrAsa se kaba taka muMha chupA kara caloge, Atman ? * * *unakA sAmanA karanA hogaa| unheM yoM nakAra kara, tar3apa kara, bila-bilAkara, A~kheM banda kara kaba taka jheloge? unheM sAmane lo, unheM jI jAo, unakI antimatA taka / phira dekho khulI A~khoM, kyA bacatA hai ? * * * vahI tuma ho, vahI maiM hU~, jisakA viyoga nahIM, vinAza nahIM / tuma saba inase palAyita ho, isI se anaMtakAla meM antahIna kaSTa jhela rahe ho| to maiM vivaza huA ki nahIM, tuma sabako isa santrAsa aura mRtyu meM jIte maiM nahIM dekha sakU~gA, nahIM saha skuuNgaa| tuma sabakI ora se, jIva mAtra kI isa carama yaMtraNA aura antima niyati kA sAmanA karU~gA / usase jUjhaMgA, usakI jar3oM meM utara kara usake ajJAna aura abhAva kI jar3a tamisrA ko bheduuNgaa| svayam sAre andhakAra, naraka, yaMtraNA, mRtyu, bhaya hokara, unheM unake hI zastra se parAjita kruuNgaa| unake antima choroM se apane roma-roma ko bidhavA kara, unheM cukA dUMgA / delU~gA ki mRtyu Akhira kahA~ taka jA sakatI isa martyaloka ke sAre manoM ke marma mere marmAntara meM khula rahe haiM : unakI janmAntaroM kI kaSTa-kliSTa graMthiyoM ke bezumAra jAloM ko apanI zirA-zirA meM ulajhate, chaTapaTAte, karAhate mahasUsa rahA huuN| jIva mAtra ko jo Abaddha kiye haiM, una karma-vargaNAoM ke tamAma anAdikAlIna kleza-pAzoM aura kaSAyoM ke prati apane isa astitva ko maiMne mukta kara diyA hai| ve AyeM, aura apanI AkhirI zakti ke tamAma ekatra bala se ve mujha para AkramaNa kareM, prahAra kreN| unake hara AghAta, daMza aura bandhana ke prati aba maiM pratikSaNa saMcetana, jAgRta, avabodhita rahU~gA / nirantara apramatta pUrNa avagAhanazIla, sahiSNu . avyAbAdha / * * *aura maiMne dekhA : vahA~ koI nahIM thA : maiM bhI nhiiN| hemantI rAta kI tIkhI ThaNDI havAoM ke thaper3oM ke bIca eka himavAna aTala thA : vizrabdha, antaHsamAhita / ___ . . pairoM tale kI sUryakAnta zilA haThAt tharatharA utthii| usake kampa ke hilore merI deha meM romAMcana jagA gye| dekhA ki mere isa romAMcana

Page #14
se kaNa-kaNa romAMcita hai| dvAbhA kI stimita ujiyAlI meM AsapAsa ke per3a, paudhe, latA, gulma, jar3a-jaMgama, pazu-paMkhI saba pulakita dikhAI pdd'e| aura jaise mere hI mastaka para se udaya hote sUrya kI aruNima kiraNoM se saba jagamagA uThA hai| ____ 'caraiveti * * *caraiveti' : zIta havA kI lahariyoM meM gUMja utthaa| aura pAyA ki avicala pagoM se cala par3A huuN| apanI hI lambAI taka kI dUrI meM merI AMkheM bichatI calI jA rahI haiN| bhUmi ke aMka meM vicarate sUkSmatama jIva bhI merI AMkhoM ke usa bichAva meM apane ko aghAtya anubhava kara rahe haiN| aura maiM ekAgra dRSTi se, eka-dizonmukha calA jA rahA hU~ / dizA koI ho, jo sAmane Aye, usI dizA meM sahaja bhAva se calA cala rahA huuN| ekAeka apane pIche se AtI eka Arta pukAra sunAI par3I : 'svAmI ! svAmI ! svAmI !' __ mere paira jahA~ ke tahA~ aTaka gye| mur3akara maiMne nahIM dekhaa| sAmane Akara eka cithar3ehAla dIna-hIna vRddha caraNAnata huA aura kAtara ho kara vinatI karane lagA : 'svAmI, sunA hai, Apane eka varSa taka avaDhara dAna kiyA hai| kuNDapura kA sArA rAjakoSa bahA diyA / maiM cira kAla kA daridra eka brAhmaNa, taba durdaiva kA mArA paradeza meM AjIvikA kI khoja meM bhaTaka rahA thaa| isa saniveza kA jana-jana svAmI ke dAna se nihAla ho gyaa| eka maiM hI ciravaMcita, pIche Apake rAjya meM daridra aura anAtha chUTa gayA / mujhe bhI apane dAna se dhanya kareM, prabhu !' ekAgra maiM use nihAratA raha gayA / mere oThoM para mAtra eka smita phaila gayA / zabda mujhameM nahIM thA / uttara meM eka dhvani apane bhItara uThatI sunAI par3I : 'maiM to niSkiMcana ho gayA, bhUdevatA, maiM aura merA aba kucha nahIM rhaa| nipaTa AkAza raha gayA hU~ / vastu saba apanI-apanI ho gii| eka kaNa para bhI merA adhikAra nahIM rahA / tumheM jo dIkhatA hU~, cAho to use le sakate ho / . . .' brAhmaNa kI A~kheM umar3atI calI AIM / usakI ve anAtha kAtara A~kheM, usako hI apalaka nihAratI merI A~khoM se jur3I raha giiN| * * *ki sahasA hI antarikSa meM se usake ThiThurate, ughAr3e, jarjara zarIra para eka jagamagAtA devadUSya vastra Tapaka pdd'aa| A~kheM mIMca kara vaha harSAtireka se daNDavata meM bhUmisAt ho pukAra uThA :

Page #15
'jaya ho varddhamAna kumAra kI ! jaya ho dIna-daridra, anAthoM ke nAtha kI !' vaha jaise vahA~ pIche chUTa gaye eka caraNa-yugala ko apanI a~guliyoM meM kasa kara pakar3e, par3A raha gayA / para maiM usase pahale hI apane pantha para gatimAna thA / eka prahara dina zeSa rahate maiM kUrmAra yAma ke prAntara meM A phuNcaa| sImAnta ke eka suramya vanapradeza meM Akara, cahu~ ora nihArA / dUra para grAma-gharoM ke pIlI mATI ke pichavAr3e dIkha rahe haiN| unake khaparailoM para aura cAroM ora ke per3oM para aparAnha kI komala par3atI dhUpa Dhala rahI hai| * * 'ekAeka nAbhipadma ke Upara jaise eka sukhada gulAbI jvAlA uThatI anubhava huii| jaTharAgni hai yaha : kSudhA kI madhura tapana / maiMne mitrabhAva se usakA svAgata kiyaa| damana nahIM kiyA usakA : tiraskAra nahIM kiyA uskaa| loka kI isa jIvanI-zakti kA nirAdara kaise kara sakatA hU~ / mana hI mana kahA : o merI bhagavatI AtmA : isa kSudhA meM bhI tumhIM to avarUr3ha ho kara vyakta huI ho / tumhAre atirikta to aura kucha kahIM dekhatA nahIM maiM / avarUr3ha hokara, he citi -mA~, tumhI vibhAvinI ho gaI ho : jagata ke AvirbhAva ke liye / ArUr3ha hokara tumhIM Atma-svarUpa meM avasthita hotI ho / lo mA~, tumhAre yajJa kI isa lau meM apanI isa sapta dhAtumayI deha kI Ahuti pradAna karatA hU~ / svIkAro / * * *aura jAne kaba vaha jvAlA antarlupta ho gaI / maiM eka adbhuta tRpti meM magana ho rhaa| ___ aura pralamba-bAhu, antaHstha hokara, maiM samarpita bhAva se kAyotsarga meM lIna ho gayA / apane antarAsana para avicala raha kara, nAsAgra dRSTi se bAhara ke sarva ke prati bhI, vimukha nahIM, sahaja hI unmukha ho rhaa| jahA~ bhI, jo . kucha bhI ho rahA hai, usake antara-bAhya kA kevala saakssii| kucha dera bAda dekhA, eka gvAlA apane bailoM ko lekara vahA~ aayaa| mujhe khar3e dekha vaha Azvasta huaa| usane socA, mere baila ina sAdhu puruSa ke nikaTa surakSita hI raheMge / ye bhale hI yahA~ carate raheM, taba taka maiM gA~va meM jAkara apanI gAyeM duha AU~ / aura vaha calA gyaa| baila carate-carate dUra nikala gaye / aura jAne kaba kisI aTavI-pradeza meM praveza kara gye| jo hotA hai, use dekhatA huuN| isase bar3I nigarAnI aura kyA ho sakatI

Page #16
hai| so bailoM kA caranA-vicaranA aura vana meM vilupta ho jAnA, maiM sama bhAva se dekhatA hI raha gayA / . . bahuta dera bAda gvAlA lauTa kara aayaa| dekhA ki baila vahA~ nahIM haiN| usane mujhase pUchA : 'kahA~ gaye mere baila ?' mujhe to kucha kahanA nahIM thA : jahA~ gaye, vahA~ ThIka hI to gaye haiN| usameM merA kyA dakhala hai| merI cuppI se gvAlA kucha kSubdha dIkhA / phira vaha apane bailoM kI khoja meM nikala par3A ! * * * maiMne rAta-bhara use vanakhaNDa meM parezAna bhaTakate dekhaa| dizAoM ke choroM taka use bailoM kA koI cihna nahIM diikhaa| sabere thakA-hArA vaha phira mere nikaTa AyA / maiM ThIka usI sthala para pratimAyoga meM avicala Atmastha thaa| aura usake baila mere samIpa hI kahIM khar3e zAnta bhAva se cara rahe the| tRptipUrvaka jugAlI kara rahe the / gvAlA krodha se bhabhaka utthaa| * * nizcaya hI isa sadhukkar3e ne mere bailoM ko kahIM chupA diyA thA / pAkhaMDI kahIM kA, cora ! sAdhuveza dhara kara corI karane kI nayI vidyA nikAlI hai isane / 'are o duSTa taskara, dhUrta ! sAdhu kA bheSa dhara kara gaudhana curAne nikalA hai ? . . . tujhe saba patA thA, phira batAyA kyoM nahIM ? mana meM jo kapaTa thA tere, o naMge. * * !' ____ maiM cupa hI rahA / bola kara to bAta ko ulajhAyA hI jA sakatA hai| mauna hI mauna maiMne kahA : ___ 'zAnta bandhu, bailoM ko jahA~ jAnA thA gye| lauTa kara ThIka samaya para, ThIka jagaha ve A gye| maiM kauna hotA hU~, unheM bhagAne vAlA, unheM rokane vAlA, lauTAne vAlA !' vicitra huA ki gvAle ne suna lI merI vaha nIrava bhASA bhii| krodha se ubala kara usane apane baila bA~dhane ke rasse ko doharA-tiharA kiyaa| phira usase vaha mere zarIra para bAra-bAra prahAra karane lagA / coTeM aisI kucha muktikara lagI, ki jaise deha meM par3I jAne kitanI purAnI gA~The khula rahI haiM / maiMne usa gopa bandhu kA mana hI mana bahuta upakAra mAnA / kRtajJa huA uskaa| mAra tale bhI mujhe mauna, nizcala dekha vaha aura bhI uttejita hokara mujhe apane rasse se bAMdhane ko udyata huA / maiMne koI pratirodha na kiyA / mere sAre aMgAMga romAMcita hokara, DAliyA~ hilA kara svAgata karate jhAr3a kI taraha

Page #17
9 nIbhUta ho Aye / 'ThIka tabhI ve pAsa hI carate baila, daur3a kara merI ora Aye, aura mujhe cAroM ora se ghera kara merA kavaca ho rahe / ve merI deha se haule-haule rabhasa karane lage / 'gvAlA apanI jagaha, staMbhita khar3A dekhatA raha gayA / .. kaNTha se prArthanA kara uThA : 'hAya, maiM andhA ho gayA thA, svAmI / are tuma kitane sundara, sukumAra ho / jAna par3atA hai koI devoM ke RSi ho / pA gayA, pA gayA, pahacAna gayA pahacAna gayA / rAjarSi varddhamAna kumAra ! jaya ho prabhu, jaya ho, kSamA kareM nAtha, mujha ajJAnI ko / ' * vaha vigalita maiMne AzvAsaka mudrA meM hAtha uThA diyA / patA nahIM kitanI dera vaha mere pairoM meM bhUmiSTha ho, jAne kyA-kyA kahatA rahA, karatA rahA / merI deha apane meM simaTa kara, jAne kaba merI antartama cetanA meM vizrabdha ho gaI thI / ... 'haThAt mere mana ke mudrita kapATa para jaise eka komala ho AI bijalI kI u~galI ne dastaka dii| maiM anAyAsa hI bahirmukha huA / sunAI par3A : 'prabhu, ApakA cira kiMkara saudharma indra sevA meM prastuta hai ''' 'hU~ !' merI cuppI se dhvanita huA / 'devAyaM kI yaha dAruNa tapasyA kitane kAla calegI, so kauna kaha sakatA hai ! jAnatA hU~, isa avadhi meM prakRti kI samasta pratikUla zaktiyA~ ekatra hokara prabhu kI rAha meM jAne kitane hI bhayaMkara upasarga upasthita kareMgI / pada-pada para antahIna bAdhAe~ AyeMgI / AjJA deM nAtha, ki isa kAla meM sadA sarvatra maiM Apake saMga vicarU~, aura Ane vAle hara upasarga kA nivAraNa karU~ / ' merI nIravatA aura bhI gaharI ho gii| mere zvAsa taka nispaMda ho gaye / aura indra ko jAne kisa agocara se uttara sunAI par3A : Jain Educationa International 'zakendra, tumhAre bhaktibhAva se bhAvita huA / para jAno svargapati, jo sAre bandhana tyAga kara pUrNa nirbandhana hone ko nikala par3A hai, vaha koI nayA bandhana kaise svIkAre ? parama svAdhInatA - lAbha kI isa yAtrA meM, parAdhIna hokara kaise cala sakatA hU~ / karma cakra kA nirdalana arihanta akele hI karate haiM / apane bA~dhe karma - bandhana ko kATane meM dUsare kI sahAya sambhava nahIM / arihantoM ne para sahAya na kabhI svIkArI, na svIkArate haiM, na kabhI svIkAreMge / sarvajayI jinendra apane hI vIrya ke bala kevalajJAna prApta karate haiM, apane hI vIrya ke bala mokSalAbha karate haiM / ' For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #18
'mahAvIrya mahAvIra jayavanta hoM, jayavanta hoM, jayavanta ho / ' caraNAnata hokara saudharmendra antardhAna ho gayA / jAne kisa mUkomalA priyA kI eka tejovalaya-sI bA~ha ne mujhe cAroM ora se Avarita kara liyA / eka amogha murakSA-bodha meM deha-bhAna kho gyaa| chaha dina, chaha rAta bIta gaye / isa zarIra ne anna-jala grahaNa nahIM kiyA hai| bhUkha-pyAsa vAvarI-sI merI parakammA karatI mAtha cala rahI haiM / maiMne z2arA bhI unheM rokA-TokA nahIM, unakA nirodha nahIM kiyA / maiM apane bhAva meM hU~, to ve apane bhAva meM haiN| prakRti meM apanI jagaha raha kara ve apanA kAma kara rahI haiN| maiM apanI jagaha askhalita raha kara unake tIvra pariNamana ko mahesUsa rahA huuN| abhI kala hI yAtrApatha meM, kahIM eka nirmala sarovara laharAtA dIkhA thaa| merI pyAsa usa ora daur3I thI : vaha vyAkula hokara una laharoM meM DubakI khA gii| sarovara daur3A AyA aura mere aMgAMgoM meM laharAne lgaa| maiMne use rokA-TokA nhiiN| vaha mujha meM antarbhUta ho gyaa| rAha kI eka nadI mere sUkhe oMTha dekha akulA utthii| oThoM para A lagI, pyAle kI trh| maiMne use piyA nahIM : muskarA bhara diyA / to vaha pagalI mujhe hI pI gaI / vaha tRpta huI : maiM adhika Atmastha huA ! - - - ___ Aja savere kollAga grAma ke parisara se aTana karatA guz2ara rahA huuN| koI prayojana nahIM, koI lakSya nahIM : basa eka mahAgati se mere caraNa dhAvamAna haiN| pathavartI eka panaghaTa para pAnI khIMcatI eka yuvatI dUsarI se kaha rahI hai : 'bahula brAhmaNa ke ghara Aja bar3I bhArI rasoI kA pAka huA hai| sAre sanniveza kA nyotA hai / devabhoga vyaMjanoM ke thAla lage haiN| para suna rI, bahula ujjvala antarvAsaka pahane, zrIphala-kalaza liye dvAra para jAne kisa atithi kI pratIkSA meM khar3A hai| pUrvAnha ho AyA, vaha hilane kA nAma nahIM letaa| * * vicitra hai na !' * * brAhmaNa ! tumharA adha:patana mujhe asahya hai| tumhAre binA brahmajyoti ko loka-mAnasa meM kauna saMcAregA? durAtmAoM ne tumhAre yajJa ko apAvana kara diyA hai| Aja merI kSudhA kI agni tumhAre havanakuNDa meM sthApita ho / tumhAre sarvasva kI Ahuti ke binA vaha zAnta nahIM hogii| prastuta ho bhUdeva * * * ? ___ aura maiMne kollAga grAma ke rAjamArga para apane ko calate hue dekhA / eka vizAla bhavana ke dvAra para sahasA hI AvAhana sunAI par3A : _ 'bho svAmin, tiSThaH tiSThaH AhAra-jala zuddha hai - AhAra-jala zuddha

Page #19
maiM ruka gayA / bahula brAhmaNa kI ora unmukha ho dekhA : zrIphala-kalaza donoM hAthoM meM thAme vaha vinata ho AyA hai| usakI A~khoM se A~sU baha rahe haiN| usakI samarpiti mere hRdaya ko sparza kara gaI / eka sundara cA~dI kI caukI vahA~ atithi ke par3agAhana ko prastuta thii| maiMne usa para pagadhAraNa kiyaa| pUjA-AratI saMjoye gRha-badhueM sammukha aayiiN| maiM unakI ora bar3ha gyaa| jhUlatI AratiyoM ke bIca avilamba rAha banAtA huA bhavana dvAra meM praveza kara gyaa| bhItara ke cauke meM niHzabda atithiyoM kA eka bhArI samudAya ekatrita thaa| unakI ekAgra praNatiyoM ke prati maiM sahaja hI namrIbhUta ho aayaa| ' baiThane ke liye bichAye gaye svarNa-ratna ke Asana ko bhikSuka ne nahIM sviikaaraa| use lA~gha kara khar3e-khar3e hI, bhikSA ke liye apane donoM hAthoM ko aMjuribaddha kara pANi-pAtra pasAra diyaa| bahula brAhmaNa ne payasa kA kumbha uThAkara bhikSuka ke pANi-pAtra meM ddaalaa| antarikSa meM se kezara aura phUla barasane lge| vasudhArA kI vRSTi hone lagI / koTi-koTi suvarNa-ratna barasa kara mATI meM milane lage / jayakAreM gUMja utthiiN| * tIna grAsa payasa grahaNa kara bhikSuka ne hAtha khIMca liye / bahula ne usakA aMga-prakSAlana kara, ujjvala vastroM se pochA / . . . bhikSuka ne udbodhana kA hAtha uThA diyaa|* * agale hI kSaNa vaha cAroM ora umar3ate jana-samUha ke bIca se rAha banAtA huA, kollAga grAma ke janapatha ko pAra gayA / .. dAyeM hAtha meM mayUra-picchikA aura bAyeM hAtha meM kamaNDalu jhAle avirAma vihAra kara rahA huuN| vana ke vRkSa, nadI, parvata, cAroM ora chitarI bastiyA~, panaghaTa, kheta-khalihAna sabhI to mere sAtha cala rahe haiM / nitAnta ekAkI ho gayA hU~ : isIse akAraNa hI saba kA saMga-sAtha pA gayA huuN| 'caraiveti * * *caraiveti': yahI merI eka mAtra jIvanacaryA hai / yahI merA svabhAva hai, dharma hai| bhItara kA nirantara AtmapariNamana hI, bAhara nirvAdha vicaraNa bana gayA hai| saba ke pAsa jAne ko nikalA hU~ : akAraNa hI sabako pAne aura apanAne calA hai| para dekhatA hU~ apane hI ekAgra paMtha para nizcala bhAva se calA cala rahA hU~ : aura ye saba svayama hI mere pAsa cale A rahe haiN| mujhe kRtArtha kara rahe haiN| nahIM jAnatA, kahA~ jAnA hai, kyA karanA hai / basa cale calanA hai, cale calanA hai : calate hI cale jAnA hai| dizA aura kAla kA koI bodha, apane se bhinna nahIM raha gayA hai / svayam hI apanI dizA ho gayA hU~ : svayam hI apanA samaya ho gayA huuN| apane se cala kara, apane taka pahu~cane kI isa yAtrA meM bAhara kA samasta loka

Page #20
aura prakRti Apo Apa hI yAtrita ho rahe haiM, apane hI bhItara antarita hokara, phiraphira vistArita ho rahe haiN| - 'zizira Rtu isa samaya apanI parAkASThA para hai| kabhI-kabhI osapAle meM mArI prakRti DhaMka jAtI hai| kabhI himapAta aura varSA bhI hotI hai / bachiyoM-sI TaNDI havAe~ pasaliyoM aura haDDiyoM meM biMdhatI haiN| gala-gala kara aMga-pratyaMga phira patharA jAte haiN| ThiThurana se zarIra ke sA~dhe akar3a jAte haiM / calanA kaTina ho jAtA hai| svayam jaise barpha kI zilA ho rahatA huuN| yaha jakar3ana TUTe to kaise Te / * * * nahIM, ise tor3ane vAlA maiM kauna hotA hU~ / zIta kI yaha vedhakatA tIvra se tIvratara hokara mAno mujhe cunautI detI hai| merI haDDiyoM aura nasoM ke rakta ko, mere zarIra ke aNu-aNu ko bIdha kara bhI ise caina nahIM hai| aura isake prati apane ko niHzeSa diye binA mujhe caina nahIM hai| isakI sAmarthya aura sImA ko jAna lenA cAhatA huuN| yA to ise caka jAnA hogA, yA mujhe cuka jAnA hogaa| so isake duHsaha AghAtoM ko jhelane ke liye, kisI nadI taTa yA parvata kI unmukta coTI para jA khar3A hotA hU~ / kAyA ko utsagita kara, usakI hara TUTana aura vinAzIkatA ko sampUrNa hRdaya se bhoganA aura jInA cAhatA huuN| jAnanA cAhatA hU~ ki kAyA kA vinAza hone para kucha zeSa rahatA hai yA nhiiN| jAnanA cAhatA hU~ ki kevala zarIra hI haiM yA usake atirikta koI aura bhI maiM huuN| AtmA kI avinAzIkatA kI bAta bahuta sunatA AyA hai| kahIM bhItara usakI pratIti bhI hai| para usakI svAyatta aura sva-sAkSya anubhati pAye binA jI ko virAma nahIM hai / . . so badahavAsa-sA khar3e parvatoM para car3hatA hI calA jAtA hU~ / Asa-pAsa ke jhAr3I-jhaMkhAr3oM kI bAdhA para bhI lakSya nahIM rhtaa| kaTIlI jhAr3iyoM, rAha ke kAMTe-kaMkar3oM kI cubhana, aura zilAoM kI TakarAhaToM aura ThokaroM se tanabadana chila jAtA hai| kA~ToM aura DAloM ke khaMpa jAne ke kAraNa asahya vedanA se zarIra TIsane lagatA hai| abhyAsavaza hAtha kA~TA nikAlane kA uTha jAtA hai, jakhma dekhane ko A~kheM caukannI ho jAtI hai| - 'nahIM, yaha kaise ho sakatA hai / kA~Te, kaMkar3a, patthara kA dharma hai cbhnaa| to kyA merA koI apanA dharma nahIM ? hai : ina AghAtoM se pare jo merA aghAtya svabhAva hai, usameM jInA, uttIrNa honaa| ghAyala aMgAMgoM se baha Aye rakta ke prati kRtajJa hotA huuN| eka anokhI muktatA usameM anubhava karatA huuN| ___.. parvata kI isa Toca para pahuca kara, apane ko tane hue dhanuSa kI taraha khar3A paayaa| zIta pavana ke jhakore yahA~ cAroM ora ke khule digantoM se Akara mujha para pracaNDa prahAra kara rahe haiN| dekhate-dekhate dUra kSitija para sUrya

Page #21
11 kA lAla bimba DUba gyaa| ghirate pradoSa ke kuharila aMdhakAra meM, dUriyoM meM kahIM-kahIM dIkhatI bastiyoM ke dIye DUba gye| . . eka samarasa aura saghana aNdhkaar| eka nIrandhra aura nIrava sannATA / aura usameM jhilliyoM kI jhaMkAra / jo mAno isa aMdhiyAre kA hI ekatAna saMgIta hai| sAMya-sA~ya, jhA~ya-jhA~ya karate jhAr3a bhUta-pretoM ke sainya kI taraha AsapAsa ghirate cale A rahe haiN| puMjIbhUta tamasa cAroM ora se mujha para AkramaNa karane ko udyata hai / aura maiM kitanA akelA huuN| kitanA azaraNa : kitanA ghAtya / kisI bhI kSaNa andhakAra kA yaha sau-sau karAla jihvAoM aura DAr3hoM vAlA dAnava mujhe lIla sakatA hai / dizAtIta dUrI meM eka dIyA kahIM cmkaa| usakI TimaTimAhaTa ko maiMne bahuta nikaTa se dekhaa| patA nahIM kisa mAM ke kakSa kA yaha dIyA hai| kaMzorya aura yauvana ke ina sAre barasoM meM mAM se dUra hI rahA hU~ / vahI merA svabhAva ho calA thaa| para Aja yaha kyA dekha rahA hU~ : una sAre barasoM ko pAra kara nandyAvataM ke usa ratna-dIpAlokita kakSa meM, mA~ kI goda meM dubakA vaha bAlaka jhAMka uThA / kasI USmA hai : kaisI murakSA hai kI godI ke isa gaharAva meM / . . eka phuraphurI-sI zarIra meM daur3a gii| 6. romAMcana ke sAtha kahIM dubaka jAne kI sI eka vikalatA cetanA meM TIsa utthii| . . 'nahIM, nahIM * * nhiiN| yaha mAyA hai : yaha chalAvA hai apane hI sAtha / jo goda svayama apanI hI nahIM, apane hI ko zaraNa nahIM de sakatI. usameM mere liye zaraNa kahA~ ? usakI svAminI svayam kitanI anAtha, zokAkula, virahiNI hokara, apanI vaibhava-zayA meM paravaza leTI hai| usake vakSa meM kisI anya ko zaraNa kaise mila sakatI hai| jo svayam itanI anAtha aura nirAdhAra hokara luMjapuMja, hatAhata par3I hai, vaha mujhe sanAtha aura anAhata kaise kara sakatI hai| * * * yaha zarIra jo svayam kapUra kI taraha ur3a sakatA hai, bulabule kI taraha vilIna ho sakatA hai, jisameM apane hI liye AdhAra nahIM, surakSA nhiiN| to koI dUsarA zarIra, jo khuda hI bhaMgura aura ghAtya hai, mujhe aghAtya kaise kara sakatA hai| jo svayam arakSaNIya hai, usameM rakSA kahA~ ? jo svayam bhayabhIta hai, usameM abhaya kahA~ ? * . . * sArI dhvaniyA~, AkRtiyA~ aura sparza kSaNa mAtra meM hI lupta ho gye| * eka AvyAhata zanya meM jo avicala sthita raha gayA hai, yaha kauna hai ? yaha eka zuddha svAnubhUti hai, jo akathya hai / eka asaMjJa zaraNAgati meM asmitA kho gyii| maiM koI nahIM hU~. * * maiM kucha nahIM huuN| aura isake anantara jo yaha bacA hai, yaha kauna hai ? * * * maiM hU~. * * maiM hU~ * * "maiM hU~ / ' . eka vizrabdha gahanatA meM yaha AtmAnubhUti bhI bhAvAtIta ho gii| * *

Page #22
* * * phira jAne kaba eka ati komala, snigdha sarasarAhaTa se zarIra kI cetanA kiMcit lauTa aaii| pairoM ko kisI maMDalAkAra mRdutA ne cAroM ora se ghera. liyaa| prANika rakta kI ajJAta USmA ne pUre zarIra ko AvRtta-sA kara liyaa| nIce se uTha kara koI kuNDalinI eka-eka aMga ko valayita karatI huI, meru-daNDa meM laharAtI huI, mastaka para chatra-sI chA gaI / jhagara-jhagara karatI agnima maNiyoM se bhAsvara eka phaNAmaNDala ! kSaNArdha ko bhaya kA eka kampa rakta meM daur3a gyaa| * *aura antara-muhUrta mAtra meM, apane hI bhItara ke kisI phaNIndra ke mastaka para, apane ko akampa, adhara meM AsIna anubhava kiyA / tatkAla deha AtmAntarita ho gii| basa eka zUnya hai, maiM se atIta / ananubhUta / kauna kise dekhe, gahe, anubhave ? savere kI komala dhUpa jaba zarIra ko nahalAne lagI, to ekAeka deha kI iyattA meM lauTa aayaa| digantoM taka vyApta prakRti aura sRSTi ke zIrSa para yaha kauna khar3A hai ? . . . parvata ke DhAla para apane ko utarate paayaa| kisa durgama, durAroha uttAnatA meM car3ha AyA thA, usakA kiMcit bhAna huaa| z2arA hI paira cUkA, ki lur3hakate huye nIce phailI atala khaMdaka kI karAla dAr3ha meM sIdhe jA giranA hogaa| * * lekina paira jaise sugama bhAva se sIr3hiyAM utara rahe hoM / hara kadama para khaMdaka caur3I se caur3I, gaharI se gaharI ho sAmane AtI hai| aura maiM usameM avikala paira dharatA, eka samatala adhara para calAcala rahA huuN| paga-paga para sarisRpoM se sarasarAtI Dhera-Dhera patajhAra meM aise cala rahA hU~, jaise paira usa para nahIM, apanI hI kAyA para dharatA cala rahA huuN| jar3a-cetana kA kaNa-kaNa itanA vallabha laga rahA hai, ki mere padAghAta se eka sUkSmatama jIvANu bhI dukha na jAye, aisI sAvadhAnI mere roma-roma meM anAyAsa vyApta hai| havA ke jhoMkoM meM raha-raha kara vakSoM kI pattiyA~ jhara rahI haiN| patrahIna araNyAnI ke ina DhUMThoM ko bahuta nikaTa se dekhaa| aura apane hI isa sundara zarIra ke bhItara chupe, bhayAvane hAr3a-piMjara ko sAkSAt kiyaa| zIta-pAle, kaMkar3a-kAMToM se kSatavikSata apane malina zarIra kI tvacA ko tar3akate, ughar3ate dekhaa| sAmane ke per3oM kI chAleM sUkha kara papar3iyA gaI haiN| jahAM-tahAM se ukhar3a kara unakI papar3iyAM gira rahI haiN| usa zuSkatA ko bheda kara, unake bhItara kI koI kaccI harI tvacA kI parta kahIM-kahIM jhAMka rahI hai / aura apane zarIra kI chilAnoM meM se bhI eka aura koI bhItara kA tAz2A, kaccA zarIra ughar3a AtA diikhaa| sUkSma ho AI nigAha per3oM kI DAloM para kahIM-kahIM phUTa Ate bahuta bArIka a~khuvoM se skarAI. - 'jIvana * * 'jIvana * * 'jIvana : anAhata. aura avinAzI jIvana

Page #23
13 kI akhaNDa dhaaraa| paryAya ke patte jhar3a gaye haiM, tvacAe~ sUkha kara, papar3A kara gira gaI haiN| ye lUMTha vinAzIkatA kI mUrtiyAM bane khar3e haiN| . . para inako bheda kara, apane hAr3a-piMjara ko bheda kara, dekha rahA hU~, avinAzI dravya kI zAzvatI rasadhArA / tatva kA cirantana vasanta * * * / nAsti bIca kI eka avasthA mAtra hai : antima hai kevala asti / asti * * asti asti / vahI to maiM hU~ : vahI to saba haiN|

Page #24
mandaracArI AkAza- puruSa dUra para acirAvatI kI zveta dhArA dIkha rahI hai| usake taTa para deva drumoM kI chAyA meM kucha mRgoM ko vicarate dekha rahA hU~ / udhara jhuramuToM ke pIche malligrAma ke gharoM kI geruI pITheM jhA~ka rahI haiM / avirAma vihAra karatA kaba malloM ke isa pradeza meM A nikalA hU~, patA hI nahIM calA / bhUgola kI sImAoM para nigAha aTakatI nahIM hai / asaMkhya graha-nakSatroM se bharA khagola bhI aMdherI rAta meM mere dhyAnastha zarIra se rabhasa karatA nikala jAtA hai / apanI haDDiyoM ke daroM meM use eka sArthavAha kI taraha guz2arate dekha letA hU~ / anuttara deza kI isa yAtrA meM bhUloka aura dyuloka eka citrapaTa kI taraha sAmane Ate haiM, apane rahasyoM kI piTAriyA~ kholate haiM, aura phira apanI hI sImA meM simaTate cale jAte haiM / barphAnI rAtoM ke tUfAna jAne kahA~ sirA gaye / havA meM eka sukhada launApana A gayA hai / koI vicitra smRti-saMvedana prANa ke taToM ko chU jAtA hai / jAna par3atA hai, dakSiNa pavana bahane lagA hai malaya kA yaha sparza jAne kisa parA ujjvalatA ke pavitra bodha se hRdaya ko pAvana kara detA hai / vanAMgana ke dUra phaile prAntaroM meM jahA~-tahA~ palAza phUTe haiM / ina raktimasindUrI phUloM meM bhItara kA pravAhI rakta, sthira jvAlAoM meM thamA raha gayA hai| sapheda, lAla, pIle kamaloM se tAlAba bhara uThe haiM / una para surabhita parAga kI pIlI sUkSma nIhArikA-sI chAyI rahatI hai / unake taToM para azoka aura karNikAravana lAla phUloM se bhara uThe haiM / unake kamala - kesara se pAMzula tala deza meM haMsa aura sArasa- mithuna keli krIr3A meM videha bhAva se lIna haiM / gA~voM ke A~ganoM meM tIsI ke nIle phUloM para laharAtI umilatA dekhatA hU~, to usameM AtmA kA vizuddha pariNamana gocara ho jAtA hai / sarasoM ke pIle phUlakhetoM meM yaha kauna apanI pIlI or3hanI utAra kara, antara-sarovara meM nahAne ko nirAvaraNa utara gaI hai / prakRti ke isa saundarya se pITha phera kara kahA~ jAU~gA / prakRta aura Atmastha honA cAhatA hU~, to sabako apane-apane nija bhAva meM pariNamana karate dekhUMgA

Page #25
15 hii| isa bIca bAhara kI isa sRSTi se udAsIna rahanA cAhA hai, tAki sva-bhAva meM sthira ho sakU / para lagatA hai, isase udAsIna nahIM, isameM tallIna hI huA jA sakatA hai / yAnI isase tadAkAra hokara, ise isakI sampUrNatA meM dekhU, jAnUM, bhogU, jiiuuN| isa bIca indriya-damana kI ceSTA bhI kI hai| mana ko mArane kA prayAsa bhI kiyA hai, ki manAtIta AtmasvarUpa ho jAU~ / para yaha mArga mujhe dharmya nahIM lagA / zannutA arihaMta kA dharma nhiiN| aribhAva kA aMtima haMtA arihaMta padArtha kA bairI kaise ho sakatA hai| loka meM saba kucha apanI-apanI jagaha para niyojita hai| sArI hI vastuoM meM dharma vividhi rUpoM meM prakaTa huA hai| astitva jisa rUpa meM yahA~ upalabdha hai, usake pIche mahAsattA kA koI abhiprAya hai, artha hai, yojanA hai| use nakArane vAlA maiM kauna hotA huuN| vaisA karanA ahaMkAra hogA / saba ko yathAsthAna svIkArU~, unake svAbhAvika pariNamana kA nirAvega citta se darzana karU~, yahI ekamAtra samyak sthiti jAna par3atI hai| indriyAM yA mana bhI apanI jagaha para apanA svAbhAvika kAma kara rahe haiN| vastue~ apanI jagaha para vividha paryAyoM meM apanI anantatA ko prakAzita kara rahI haiN| inake bIca anAvila darzana-jJAna kA eka svAbhAvika sambandha hai| usakA sAkSAtkAra karanA hogaa| usako tor3anA, sattA ke dravyatva ko vicchinna karanA hai : usakA virodha karanA hai| vaha vastu dharma kA vidroha hai| isa anAdi-nidhana sundara loka ke prati virodha aura vidroha meM kaise jiyA jA sakatA hai / AtmasvarUpa honA cAhatA hU~, niHsaMdeha / para isakA yaha artha nahIM ki sRSTi-prakRti ke svAbhAvika pariNamana se lar3AIjhagar3A kruuN| vaha to hiMsA hI hogI na ! vaha dravya ke svabhAva-droha kA aparAdha hogaa| mithyA-darzana aura kise kahate haiN| mana aura indriyoM se baira karU~, to vaha bhI AtmaghAta kI hiMsA hI hogI / prakRti, mana, indriyA~, vastue~, sabhI kA mitra hI ho sakatA hU~ / indriyA~, mana, padArtha, saba kA pariNamana yathA sthAna satya, ziva aura sundara hai / unake virodha meM nahIM, samvAda meM hI samyakdRSTi jIvana jiyA jA sakatA hai / indriyoM kA damana sambhava nahIM / mana ko mArA nahIM jA sakatA / jisa cetana tatva AtmA meM se ye sphurita hue haiM, usameM laya pAkara hI ye sampUrita ho sakate haiN| apane srotomUla caitanya meM hI ye apanI pUrNa sArthakatA pA sakate haiN| indriya aura mana kA nirantara zuddhikaraNa aura pariSkAra karake, inheM AtmA ke avyAbAdha darzana-jJAna se Alokita karanA hogaa| vaisA avalokana aura Alokana apane prANa, mana, indriyoM ke avabodhana meM anubhava karane lagA huuN| ___ apane isa zarIra ko yathAsthAna prakRti ke parivartanoM meM ghaTita hote dekha rahA hU~ / hemanta aura zizira ke tuSAroM ke prati ise khulA chor3a diyA thaa| ki

Page #26
16 prakRti ke sAtha ekatAna aura samarasa ho rahU~ / use apanI virodhinI nahIM, samvAdinI pAU~ / digambara huA hU~ isIliye, ki digambarI prakRti kA AmUlacUla utsaMga pA skuuN| usase pITha phera kara nahIM, use AliMgana meM lekara, usakA hRdaya jIta sakUM / zIta havAoM aura himapAtoM se deha kI tvacA sUkha kara papar3iyA-sI gaI thI / vasanta ke malaya vAyu kA sparza pAkara, jhAr3oM kI sUkhI chAleM utara kara jhara par3I haiN| unake tanoM aura DAloM meM bhItara kA tAjA, kaccA, nayA zarIra ubhara AyA hai / vaise hI mere zarIra kI nIrasa ho gaI tvacA khira gaI hai / snigdha candanI deha ughara AI hai / merI zArIrika sthiti havA, AkAza, jala ho gaI hai| vRkSa, phUla, phala, pazu-paMkhI kI taraha hI vaha bhI prakRta aura svAbhAvika ho gaI hai / nirantara parivrAjana kara rahA hU~ / acirAvatI taTa kI yaha sArI suramya vanabhUmi navIna pallavoM se AcchAdita vRkSoM, latAoM, gulmoM se bhara uThI hai / unakI marakata AbhA meM anubhava hotA hai, jaise vanaspatiyoM kA hariyAlA rudhira merI zirAoM meM baha AyA hai / nAnA raMgI phUloM se lade kuMjoM meM hokara guz2aratI havA, saurabha aura parAga se bhArAhuta-sI bahatI hai / aura dekha rahA hU~, ki mere nava kusumita zarIra meM se bhI eka vicitra sugandha prasArita hone lagI hai| isameM candana bhI hai, campA bhI hai, kacanAra bhI hai / isameM vana- camelI aura jala-juhI kI bhInI taralatA bhI hai / isameM kapUra, kezara, kastUrI kI gaharI mahaka bhI hai / " so. eka adbhuta vastu-sthiti ghaTita huI / tamAma phUlavanoM ke bha~vare ur3aur3a kara mere AsapAsa guMjana karane lage haiM / merI ora se koI virAdhanA aura virodha na pAkara, ve bar3e pyAra se mere sAre zarIra ko chA lete haiM / mere roma kUpoM se uphanatI sugandha meM mUrchita hokara, merI tvacA ke sAtha jar3ita se ho rahate haiM / sugandha aura makaranda ke liye Akula unake prANa kI vAsanA ko tIvratA se anubhava karatA hU~ / unakI vyAkulatA ke prati apanI deha ko zithila chor3a detA hU~ / ve sugandha-lolupa prANI kasa-kasa kara mere zarIra meM jahA~-tahA~ daza karate haiN| mere rakta ke sAre rasa aura suvAsa ko niHzeSa pI jAnA cAhate haiN| unakI madhura gandha-vAsanA kA anta nahIM / usa vAsanA kI agni ko jI bhara sahatA hU~ / deha meM jahA~-tahA~ rakta baha Aye haiM / prANa ke jAne kitane avaruddha pravAha usameM khula par3e haiN| ina madhupa mitroM kI isa prANahArI prIti ko kaise nakArUM / so unheM apanI romAliyoM meM mukta krIr3A karane detA huuN| apane romAMcana, pulakana aura parasa se unheM dularA detA huuN| jitanA hI adhika ve daMza dete haiM, mere romAMcana se Alor3ita hokara merA rakta aura bhI umar3a kara unake prati rasadAna karatA hai /

Page #27
* "taba dekhatA kyA hU~ ki ve bahuta hI saMtRpta hokara, apane aMjana-nIla paMkhoM ko spandita karate hue, Atma-vibhora ho mere AsapAsa guMjana-gAna karate haiN| phula-vanoM ke parimala-parAga lA-lAkara mere daMza-ghAyala zarIra para Alepana kara dete haiN| apanI deha-gandha ke sAtha prakRti kI sugandha ke sahaja milana meM gaharI AtmalInatA anubhava karatA huuN| sAre vraNa zAnta ho kara, eka zItala sukhoSmA meM deha tairane lagatI hai| bhUkha-pyAsa kA patA hI nahIM cltaa| mere roma-kUpoM se saMsparzita prakRti, apane rasa, rudhira, saurabha, parAga se merI jaTharAgni ko abhisiMcita karatI rahatI hai| eka akSayya tAruNya kI anubhUti hotI hai / prakRti mAM hai : vaha parama priyA hai / madhyAnha ke halke Une tApa meM ekonmukha calA jA rahA huuN| rAha ke maMjarita AmravanoM kI zItala chAyA marmara bhASA meM AmaMtraNa-sA detI hai : '.. 'Ao yAtrika, kSaNa bhara hamArI zIlI chA~va meM vizrAma karo!' . . ThiThaka kara, usa chAyA kI ora muskarA detA huuN| usake nihore ko TAla kara bhI, apane DhaMga se svIkAra letA huuN| usake A~cala ko bacA kara, khule AkAza tale, madhyAnha ke prakhara tApa meM, pralambamAna bA~hoM ke sAtha dhyAnastha ho jAtA huuN| vaha ma~jariyoM se sugaMdhita AmrachAyA Akara latA-sI mujhase lipaTa jAtI hai| mere aMgoM ke pratapta palAzI sparza meM vaha mAnoM besudha ho rahatI hai / * dhyAna na to vimukhatA hai, na unmukhatA hai : vaha sanmukhatA hai : sabake sAtha Amane-sAmane honaa| usake binA darzana kaise sambhava hai| tana, mana, prANa, indriyoM kA nirodha nahIM karatA maiM / unheM apane Apa meM samAhita, niSkampa kara detA huuN| tAki ve sarva kA mohamukta yathArtha saundarya-darzana kara skeN| akhila ke sAtha sacce antima sambandha meM samvAdI ho sakeM / taba samAdhi Apo Apa ho jAtI hai / sAre antarvigraha miTa jAte haiM / eka saghana aura gahana AtmalInatA meM cetanA vizrabdha ho jAtI hai| eka akAraNa aura niSkAma sukha se prANa umila hotA rahatA hai| * * 'jAne kaba aparAnha kI dhUpa narama ho AI hai / dUra-pAsa kI amarAiyoM meM koyala kI kUka sunAI par3atI hai| taruNa yuvaka-yuvatiyoM ke yUtha jahAM-tahAM vanakrIr3A karate dikhAI par3ate haiM / ___ kucha manacale chailA yuvaka ha~sI-ThiTholI karate mere pAsa A khar3e hote haiN| kahate haiM : 'o taruNa tApasa, tuma yaha kAmadeva ko lajAnevAlA saundarya kahA~ pA gaye ? are tumhAre dhUli-dhUsarita kAntimAna zarIra se yaha kaisI mohaka sugandha AtI hai? apane aMgoM meM yaha kisa divya aMgarAga kA lepana karate ho tuma? hameM bhI ise banAne kI vidhi batAo na / apanI aura apanI priyA kI deha ko isa aMgarAga se raMjita karake, hama usake sAtha apUrva keli-sukha pA jAyeMge...'

Page #28
18 merI nAsAgra sthira dRSTi meM apane hI oThoM kI muskAna jhalaka jAtI hai / mana hI mana unheM uttara detA hU~ : 'yuvA mitro, apanI hI nAbhi kI kastUrI meM vihAra karo / ApoApa tumhArI aura tumhArI priyAoM kI deha divya sugandhI se mahakane lagegI / khaMDita kAma se kaba taka vikala rahoge / apane kAma ko apane meM samAhita kara, sakalakAma sukha ke bhoktA bano / yuvAjana ekAeka prabodhita-se dIkhate haiM / apane hI aMgoM meM ve apanI kAminI ke sparza kA romAMcana anubhava karate haiM / kahIM dUra kI amarAI meM akele hokara, apanI veNu meM antara - priyA ko pukArate haiM / I tabhI koyala- kUjita amarAiyoM meM jhUlA jhUlatI kaI sundarI yuvatiyA~ mere pAsa ghira AtI haiN| bAloM meM ve kArNikAra aura kurbaka phUloM ke gucche khoMse haiN| kAnoM meM Ama kI ma~jariyA~ urase haiM / unake pIle aura ghera ghumera basantI cIroM meM gulAbI raMga kI bU~de chiTakI haiM / ve saheliyA~ paraspara galabahiyA~ DAla kara, merI ora caMcala madabharI citavana se kaTAkSa karatI haiM, bhrUbhaMga karatI haiN| Apasa meM kAnAphUsI karatI huI kahatI haiM : 'dekha to sakhI, kaisA kautuka ghaTa rahA hai / madana devatA saMnyAsI ho kara kisI anokhI kAminI kI khoja meM nikala par3e haiM / rati becArI manamAre kahIM kuTaja kuMjoM kI chA~va meM chaTapaTAtI hogI / isa anaMgarAja ke pAsa Ane kI usakI himmata nahIM | aisA sundara aura manamohana yuvA to hamane kabhI dekhA nahIM / isake rUpa-yauvana kI prabhA ko dekha kara hameM apane laukika pati priyatama bhUla gaye haiM / vicitra jAdUgara jAna par3atA hai yaha tApasa / arI suna rI, lagatA hai isake pAsa koI mahAmohinI vidyA hai| isake digambara lAvaNya kI vibhA bar3I haThIlI aura anahonI haiM / barabasa hI hamAre tana-mana ke sAre AvaraNa utAre le rahA to unameM se koI eka yuvatI kumArikA sahasA hI bolI : 'mana karatA hai, isakA nAma - gA~va aura patA puucheN| kisa mA~ kA lAr3ilA hogA yaha ? isakI koI priyA nahIM kyA ? hAya, kaisA jI cAhatA hai, ki yaha hameM aMga lagA le / kaisA sukha hogA rI, isake aMgoM ke rabhasa meM ! phira ekAeka koI dUsarA vyAkula svara sunAI par3atA hai : 'ore nIlotpala se nayanoM vAle yogI, cupacApa khar3e ho, para bar3e cakora jAna par3ate ho| tuma to hamArA cIra-haraNa karate se lagate ho / hamAre tana, mana, prANa, indriyoM ko tumane apanI nAsAgra citavana se kIlita kara diyA hai / apanI vItarAga muskAna meM hamArI sArI cetanA ko tumane kaise gahana surati-sukha se vibhora kara diyA hai / tumane to hamArA sarvasva hara liyA / apanA ApA hAra kara,

Page #29
. 19 hama to sarvahArA ho gaI haiN| tumheM chor3akara aba hamArA jI saMsAra ke kAjakarma meM kaise lagegA? mAtA-pitA ko kyA uttara deMgI ? hamAre kaTAkSa to tumane chIna liye : aba apane priyatamoM ko hama kaise rijhAyeMgIM. * * ?' / nirAvila AMkheM uThAkara eka bAra maiMne unakI ora dekhA / mere. oThoM para prazama kI eka samakita muskAna khila AI / merI A~khoM meM unhoMne par3hA : 'tumhArA hI to hU~ / lo, merI A~khoM ko apanI A~khoM meM A~ja lo| phira apane priyatama meM bhI apanA hI rUpa dekhogI / vahI to maiM huuN| phira bichur3ana kahA~ raha jAyegI ! cintA na karo / saMsAra ke sAre kAja-karma aba tuma pahale se adhika acchI taraha sampanna kara sakogI * / ' * * *aura ve bAlAe~ sahasA hI jaise unmukta ho utthiiN| bAharI sudhabudha bhUla kara, karNikAra, kiMzuka aura kacanAroM ke phUloM chAye vana-deza meM unmana vibhora sI vicaratI dikhAI par3I / apane jAne to niruddezya hI yAtrA kara rahA huuN| kisI lakSya yA kAmanA kA pratibaMdha kyoM kara svIkAra sakatA huuN| apanI nirbandhana aura naisargika gatimattA ko upalabdha honA cAhatA huuN| lauTa rahA hU~ yA Age bar3ha rahA hU~, kyA antara par3atA hai| antataH yaha saMsAra eka hI parikramA ke kaI pheroM se Age jAtA to nahIM dIkha rhaa| isa cakrAvartana ke chora para pahu~canA cAhatA huuN| aura usa bindu se hI vaha prasthAna sambhava hogA, jisakI yAtrA phira pratipala maulika aura nita-nUtana Urdhva ke anantagAmI pradezoM meM hogI / so cAhe jitanA hI niruddezya ho merA bhramaNa, para kisI parama uddezya kI u~galI kA saMketa isake pIche z2arUra hai| hara phere ke anubhava se antima rUpa se gujara jAnA hogA tAki Age kI ora bar3hanA nirbAdha ho sake / usase pahale anabhava kI yAtrA meM, jidhara bhI gati ho, usameM koI abhiprAya hogA hii| __ cInha rahA hU~, ki lauTa kara phira morAka sanniveza ke pradeza meM A nikalA huuN| dUrI meM choTI-choTI pahAr3iyA~ phailI dikhAI par3atI haiM / dina car3hate-car3hate tez2a lU bharI havAe~ calane lagatI haiM / deha meM ve Aga kI lapaTa-sI lagatI haiM : sArA tana-badana jhulasatA calA jAtA hai| rAha ke tape hue dhUla-kaMkar3a, nagna padatrANahIna pagataliyoM meM garama zalAkhoM se cubhate haiN| pahAr3iyoM kI ora se AtI dhUlabharI ha - meM, vRkSoM se jhara-jhara kara AtI sUkhI pattiyAM ur3atI dikhAI par3atI haiN| vanAniyoM meM virala hI patte raha gaye haiN| TIloM bhare ujAr3a meM, kevala jhAr3oM ke ruMDa-muMDa kaMkAla dUra taka phaile dIkhate haiN| udAsa garma havA ke jhakoroM meM unhIM kI naMgI DAleM haharAtI rahatI haiN|... hAM, grISma Rtu A lagI hai| ___bhara dupaharI meM rAha chor3a kara, pahAr3iyoM ko pAra karatA calA gyaa| jaMgala ke jAlI beroM kI nIcI jhAr3iyAM nanhI harI pattiyoM se abhI bhI bharI ragoM aura

Page #30
rAnoM meM unake kA~Te khupa jAte haiM : una lAla beriyoM sI hI khuna kI bUMdeM piNDaliyoM meM uphana AtI haiM / jhAr3iyoM kI DAliyoM meM beriyA~ phalI haiM :to merA zarIra bhI unake kaMTaka-vedha se phalIbhUta ho uThA hai / sAmane eka jalatA pahAr3a A khar3A huA / usakI kAlI lalauMhI caTTAnoM meM eka pracaNDa pauruSazAlI chAtI kA AkarSaNa hai / so pahAr3a kI tapatI caTTAnoM ke DhalAnoM meM car3ha claa| * *Age jAkara car3hAI eka dama khar3I ho gaI hai| car3hane ke liye paira ko muzkila se hI koI avalamba milatA hai| car3hanA hI hai, to kyA sahAroM aura sIr3hiyoM kI rAha dekhUgA ? mere pairoM aura mere hAthoM ko svayam apane hI avalaMba bana jAnA hogaa| caTTAnoM kI kRpA hai, ki ve khurdarI haiM : usI pIle, jalate khurdarepana para hAtha-paira cA~patA huA, kevala ekAgra sanmukha dRSTi se Upara kI ora car3hatA calA gayA / zira para pahu~ca kara dekhA, eka akelA vRkSa abhI bhI kucha hariyAlA aura chAyAdAra thA / vRkSa bandhu ne harI DAloM kI bA~heM uThAkara mujhe bulAyA / maiMne mana hI mana kahA : 'mitra Thaharo, isa pahAr3a kI tapana ko kucha pIlU, to phira tumhArI chA~va meM Akara vizrAma karU~gA / so eka aura sabase U~ce zRMga para car3ha gayA, jahA~ kevala do paira TikAne lAyaka jagaha thii| nirAlaMbatA kA anubhava vahA~ parAkASThA para huA / so vahIM sthira hokara, asIma AkAza kI nirAlayatA aura niravalaMbatA meM apane ko chor3a diyA * * / khatare kI eka nIlI lapaTabharI khaTTI gaMdha kSaNa bhara khUna meM daur3a gayI / sahasA hI eka tez2a cakkara-sA AyA : usa pAra kI khandaka meM apane zarIra ko lur3hakate dekhA / aura tabhI pAyA ki svayam usa pahAr3a kI antima cUr3A hokara, usake mastaka para nistabdha jar3ita ho gayA huuN| lU kI lapaTeM, sindUrI latAoMsI bahuta pyAra se mere aMga-aMga ke sAtha ramaNa kara rahI haiM / merI cetanA meM biddha sArI vAsanAe~ mAnoM khula kara bAhara A giiN| apanI jhulasana se aba ve mujhe bA~dhane aura dAhane ke bajAya, mukta karane lgiiN| eka nIla-lohita antarikSa meM merI samasta cetanA nistabdha, nizcala ho gaI / dekhate-dekhate kapar3e utarane kI taraha, dehabhAna gAyaba ho gayA / antara meM zAMti kA eka zItala jharanA-sA bahane lgaa| * * tIsare pahara sahasA hI jaba A~kheM khulIM, to deha kA aNu-aNu pasIne ke ubalate lAvA meM nahAyA huA thA / sanmukha AvAhana karate vRkSa-mitra kI chA~va meM jAkara, eka zilAtala para baiTha gayA / vRkSa bAndhava ne apanI virala pallavI DAloM kA paMkhA DulAkara mujhe sahalAnA cAhA * * / 'are nahIM bandhu, isa tarala agni ke pravAha kA nirodha nahIM karUMgA / ise cukA kara, isakI avadhi para pahu~cA denA hogA / tAki yaha apanI maryAdA jAne : aura maiM apanI amaryAdA meM nirbAdha vicara skuuN| .. pahAr3a se utarane lagA, to usake IzAna koNa kI anajAna bIhar3atA meM jahA~-tahA~ pada-pada para ruMDa-muMDa bhImAkAra kAlI zilAoM se rAha avaruddha dIkhatI

Page #31
thii| jaise-jaise nIce ko AtA thA, hara caTTAna ke mor3a para, eka dvAra khula jAtA thaa| * * * isa taraha avarodhoM aura khulAvoM ke kaI toraNoM ko pAra karatA maidAna meM A gayA / udhara pare ko lAla mATI kI eka sar3aka jAtI diikhii| usI para cala par3A pazcima kI ora, jidhara sUrya nirgamana kI yAtrA para thA / thor3I dUra calane para, U~cI javAse kI bAr3a se ghirA koI Azrama dikhAI par3A / jhulasana aura dhUla-pasIne se malina zarIra ko avirAma Age bar3hate dekha kisI ne TokA : 'oho, * * 'rAjarSi varddhamAna kumAra ! maiM jvalana zarmA, tumhAre pitA siddhArtharAja kA purAnA mitra hU~ / duijjata tApasoM ke apane isa Azrama meM maiM tumhArA svAgata karatA huuN| kumArayogI prIta hoM, aura hamAre A~gana ko pAvana kreN| cAheM to AgAmI varSAvAsa yahIM vyatIta kreN| maiM yahA~ kA adhiSThAtA huuN| apane tApasoM sahita tumhArI sevA kara, hama kRtArtha hoMge !' ___ maiM kucha nahIM bolA / jahA~ ThiThakA thA, vahIM se jvalana zarmA kA anugAmI huaa| aba sA~jha hone ko hai| to rAtrivAsa yahA~ kara hI sakatA huuN| tApasa guru ne eka kuTIra kI ora izArA kara, usake A~gana kI vaTa-chAyA meM mujhe cabUtare para baiThA diyaa| hare donoM meM kucha phala, aura jala kI eka zItala mATI kI ghar3iyA sAmane lA dharI / maiMne purAtana abhyAsavaza, hAtha jor3a kara unake prati kRtajJatA prakaTa kii| ve mere mauna se saMketa pA kara cale gaye / zItala jala ke ghar3e aura phaloM ko namaskAra kara, maiM yathAsthAna paryakAsana meM dhyAna-magna ho gyaa| sUkhate oThoM aura ruddha kaNTha meM tIvra pyAsa kA dAha anubhava huaa| udara meM bhUkha kI jvAlA bhI prakhara ho kara lahakI / bhUkha aura pyAsa ke isa trAsa ko sahane yogya anubhava kiyA / 'nahIM Aja nahIM . . . phira kabhI merI bAndhavI kSudhA-tRSA, tumhAre mana kA kara dUMgA * * * / ' sArI rAta gahare dhyAna meM aisA anubhava hotA rahA, jaise kaI jvAlAgiriyoM ko pAra karatA, eka vasanta ke hariyAle phUloM bhare maidAna meM nikala AyA huuN| aura eka zItala azoka vRkSa tale bichI, kisI anAma mArdavI zaiyA meM nidrAlIna ho gayA huuN| saverA hone para jvalana zarmA aura unake anya tApasa ziSya A juTe / muskarA kara unake sammukha khar3A ho gayA / dAyA~ hAtha uThA kara unako nirvAk hI Azvasta kara diyA, ki ho sakA to grISma ke anta meM yahIM lauTakara varSAvAsa kruuNgaa| aura apane picchI-kamaMDalu uThA kara prayANa kara gayA / zeSa grISmakAla AsapAsa ke maDaMba, karbaTa, kher3A, grAma aura parisaravartI vanapradezoM meM vicaraNa karatA rahA / kabhI chaha TaMka, kabhI ATha TaMka, aura kabhI pUrA pakhavAr3A upavAsI rahanA hotA hai| apane hI nikaTa, apane hI bhItara prAyaH upavipTa rahane se, bhUkha-pyAsa kA dinoM taka anubhava nahIM hotA / kabhI-kabhI jaba unakI bAdhA asahya rUpa se prakaTa ho jAtI hai, to unheM pucakAra kara sulA detA hU~, aura apane bhItara hI kisI navyatara zItalatA aura tRpti kA kuMja khoja

Page #32
nikAlatA huuN| vahA~ nirAkula bhAva se avasthita ho jAne para, zAMta citta se kisI .. grAmabastI meM gocarI para nikala par3atA huuN| kisI bhI dvAra para acAnaka atithi zramaNa ke liye dvArApekSaNa karate gRhastha kA AvAhana sunAI par3a jAtA hai : 'bho svAmin tiSTha : tiSThaH . . .' * * pANi-pAtra kI aMjuli meM rukhA-sUkhA, sarasa-madhura, svAdu-asvAdu jo bhI AhAra diyA jAtA hai, use bhikSa samabhAva se grahaNa kara letA hai| usake paira usI AvAhana para rukate haiM, jahA~ kA bhojana prAsuka ho, pavitra ho, bhakSya ho / phira nAma, kula, gotra, jAti se nirapekSa, kisI bhI zramika, zrAvaka, dhanI-nirdhana, rAjA-raMka ke dvAra para vaha nirvikalpa citta se bhikSA grahaNa kara letA hai / apane hI liye vizeSa rUpa se pAka kiyA bhojana vaha nahIM letA / nitya jisa ghara zuddha tana-mana, zuddha hRdaya, zuddha saMskArapUrvaka AhAra banatA hai, use vaha sahaja hI pahacAna kara, usa dvAra kA Atithya svIkAra letA hai / / * svabhAva hI ho gayA hai ki mere Asana, caryA, zayana se kisI sUkSma jIva kI bhI svataMtra caryA meM bAdhA na pahu~ce, unakA ghAta na ho / jIvANu mAtra mere vartana se aghAtya raheM, tabhI to merA astitva bhI pUrNa adhAtya ho sakatA hai / so apanI puruSAkAra dUrI taka kI bhUmi ke sAre dRzya jIvoM kI rakSA karatA huA calatA hU~ / jaba tapasyA kI mahAvAsanA se unmeSita hokara parvatoM para car3hatA hU~, to zarIra svabhAvataH hI phUla-sA halakA aura mRdu ho jAtA hai / jIva kI virAdhanA taba zarIrataH hI mere liye sambhava nahIM rhtii| jisa Asana para dhyAnArUr3ha honA ho, yA jisa zilApaTTa para leTanA ho, apanI mayUra-picchikA se usakA zodhana kara letA huuN| kSaNa-kSaNa apramatta bhAva se, sarva ke prati jAgRta aura sAvadhAna jItA huuN| jar3a cetana sabhI padArthoM kA sparza AtmA ke pUrNa mArdava se hI kara pAtA huuN| jI meM yahI lau-lagana lagI rahatI hai, ki merI hara kriyA yA caryA pyAra ho / pyAra, jo hara kisI vizeSa ke prati na hokara, apane Apa meM eka svayambhu dhArA hai, merI cetanA kii| ki phira jo bhI usameM Aye, vaha samAdhAna pAye, zaraNa pAye, mere sAtha samvAdI ho jAye / isI se merI sArI jIvana-caryA hI, eka svAbhAvika dhyAna kI avasthA meM calatI hai / jyeSTha mAsa kI isa prakhara lU bharI dopaharI meM, calate-calate kahIM kisI sarovara ke tIra, koI zItala chAyA vAlA jambUvana dIkha jAtA hai| oMTha aura kaNTha kI pyAsa utkaMThita ho uThatI hai / lU aura garama dhUla se jhulasA zarIra zItalata chAyA ke liye tarasa jAtA hai / calate-calate ruka kara cAroM ora ke dizAntoM taka kA avalokana karatA hU~ / AsapAsa kI darakI huI dharatI ko dekhatA hU~ / pAnI pIne ke liye ur3ate vyAkula paMchiyoM kI hAroM para nigAha DAlatA hU~ / ghAsa aura jala kI khoja meM trasta bhaTakate pazu-caupAye

Page #33
23 dikhAI par3ate haiM / cAroM ora kA carAcara paritApa se saMtapta hai / sarvatra hI to pyAse dahaka rahI hai / kyA vaha sarovara kA jala, vaha jambUvana kI chAyA, isa paritApa ko zAMta kara detI hai ? * * to phira kyoM dikhAI par3a rahA hai cahu~ ora, tRSA kA yaha sUkhA, pyAsA, antahIna registAna * * * ? jisa caTTAna se jharanA phUTatA hai, usake oMTha bhI pyAse haiM / jisa taTa meM nadI bahatI hai, vaha bhI virahAkula hai . . / dUra usa banAlI ke antarAla meM nadI kI eka nIlI-safeda rekhA dikhAI par3a rahI hai / usa sajala nIlimA meM kyA hai, ki mere tape zarIra ko, ThIka isa pracaNDa sUryAtapa tale abhI aura yahA~ vaha upalabdha ho gaI hai ? * * eka zItala nadI merI zirAoM meM sarasarAtI calI AI / sAre sarovara, sAre chAyAvana, merI asthiyoM ke ghAToM meM laharAne lge|.. * * * eka sAMjha gAMva bAhara ke kisI zanya devAlaya ke cabUtare para A ThaharA / ekAeka bAdala chA gaye / ve gaharAte cale gaye / dUra se dhUla bharI ThaMDI AMdhI AtI dikhAI par3I / sArI bastiyA~, mandiroM ke U~ce zikhara, parvata, vana, usa vAtyAcakra meM kho gaye / kAla-vaizAlI kA prabhaMjana hai yaha / purvayA baha calI hai / varSA ke Agamana kI sUcanA milI hai| so varSAvAsa ke liye duijjanta tApasoM ke Azrama kI ora, morAka sanniveza kI rAha para cala par3A / pahu~cane para kulapati jvalana zarmA ne bahuta snehabhAva se svAgata kiyA / naiRtya koNa meM lAla mATI se lipI-chabI, eka sundara ghAsa kI kuTiyA meM unhoMne mujhe AvAsa pradAna kiyA / Azrama kA antarAyana yahA~ se dIkhatA hai / vahAM bhI tApasoM ke liye aise hI kaI ghAsa-phUsa ke kuTIra jahA~-tahA~ bane haiM / bIca ke caugAna meM suramya vRkSAvaliyoM ke bIca lAla mATI kA svaccha-sundara A~gana hai / usake ThIka madhya meM yajJa vedikA hai / vahA~ nitya prAtaHkAla nirdoSa zrauta yajJa hotA hai / vAtAvaraNa yajJAhuta dravyoM aura vana-auSadhiyoM kI sugandha se vyApta hai / merI mauna mudrA ko dekha kara tApasa-garu asamaMjasa meM dIkhe / maiM ISat muskurA AyA / hAtha uThAkara unheM Azvasta kara diyA / ve samAdhAna pAkara cale gaye / * * tApasa-baTuka Akara sA~jha-sakAre kuTiyA aura A~gana buhAra jAte ' haiM / merA kamaNDalu zuddha jala se bhara jAte haiM / bhojana ke samaya yajJa kA madhuparka, aura phala-mUla ke done le Ate haiM / donoM hAthoM se unakA vandana kara unheM lauTA detA hU~ / ve merI sthira A~khoM meM jhA~ka kara, merA bhAvAzaya samajha lete haiM / yaha sAvadhAnI baratate haiM ki merI dhyAna-caryA meM koI bAdhA na pahu~ce / kuTiyA meM to maiMne kabhI praveza kiyA nahIM / jisa dina

Page #34
24 se nandyAvarta kI chata aura cahAradIvArI chor3I hai, kisI ghara-dvAra kA sAyA nahIM svIkArA hai / jaba dizAe~ hI merA vasana bana gaI haiM, to bIca me dIvAreM aura chateM kahA~ raha pAtI haiM ! mandaracArI mandira ke sAye meM kaise samAye ? AkAza ke isa virATa nIlama-mahala se adhika rakSA anyatra kahA~ sambhava hai / so kuTiyA ke khule A~gana meM eka ora par3A zilA-talpa hI merA eka mAtra Asana aura zayana bana gayA hai / prAya: usI para pratimAyoga meM AsIna ho, cAhe jaba dhyAnalIna ho jAtA hU~ / kabhI khulI A~khoM sakala carAcara ko sampUrNa saMcetanA se apalaka nihAratA rahatA hU~ / ghaMToM palaka animeSa khule raha jAte haiM / prakRti ke eka-eka AkAra, spandana, pariNamana se tadrUpa tadAkAra ho rahatA hU~. . . / aura bahirmukha darzana kI yaha tallInatA hI, jAne kaba AtmalInatA ho jAtI hai / ApoApa hI palaka muMda jAte haiM / aura bhrUmadhya ke AjJAcakra meM avasthita hokara, apane nAsAgra para samasta loka kI lIlA kA tadgata sAkSAtkAra karatA rahatA huuN| kabhI hilora AtI hai, to bAhara ke parisara meM vihAra karatA, kisI vanakhaNDa ke ekAnta meM jAkara dhyAnastha ho jAtA hU~ / ___saMdhyA meM kabhI-kabhI ASAr3ha ke bAdala ghira kara manda-manda garjana hotA hai| IzAna koNa meM bijalI lahaka jAtI hai| kabhI halakI baMdA-bAMdI bhI ho jAtI hai| para abhI bhI khula kara varSA nahIM huI hai| bastI ke loga jaMgaloM kI sArI ghAsa kATa le jAte haiN| naI ghAsa abhI ugI nahIM hai| so jaMgalI gAyeM, nIla gAyeM, hariNa Adi kSudhAta hokara vana meM tRNa-cAre ke lie bhaTakate haiN| Azrama ke kuTIroM kI vipula ghAsa dekhakara ve idhara lapaka Ate haiN| tApasa brahmacArI apanI dinacaryA meM vyasta rahate haiN| tabhI unakI asAvadhAnI meM bhItara ghusa Akara ye vanya caupAye, unakI kuTiyoM kI ghAMsa khAne lagate haiN| patA lagane para tApasa daur3e Ate haiM, aura una para DaMDoM kA prahAra kara unheM bhagA dete haiN| * * vicitra hai merI yaha kAyA, ki una nirdoSa kSudhArta prANiyoM para jaba mAra par3atI hai, to mere aMga usase kasaka uThate haiN| nayA to kucha nahIM hai, bacapana se hI merA zarIra aisA hI samvedanazIla rahA hai| tApasoM kI mAra ke bhaya se bhAga kara, ye vanale jIvadhArI aba merI kuTiyA kI ora Ane lage haiN| yahA~ koI bAdhA yA varjanA na pA kara, sukhapUrvaka merI kuTiyA ko carate rahate haiN| aura yahA~ se Azrama prAMgaNa ko nirjana dekha kara, anya kuTiyoM kI ghAMsa carane ko bhI cale jAte haiN| tApasoM ko merI yaha taTasthatA dekhakara bahuta krodha aayaa| ve Apasa meM batiyAne lage ki kaisA vicitra hai yaha rAjaputra zramaNa, jo apane AvAsa kI rakSA taka nahIM krtaa| pazu bar3I mauja se isakI kuTiyA khAte rahate haiM,

Page #35
25 para yaha na to unakA tAr3ana karatA hai, na unheM barajatA hai| ulaTe cAhe jaba ye pazu-mRga usake AsapAsa nirbhaya sabhA jur3Aye khar3e rahate haiN| kuTiyA kI ghAsa bhakusa lA kara, usI ke sAmane DAla, nirApada bhAva se use carate aura jugAlI karate rahate haiN| aura to aura isa sundara sukumAra tapasvI ko apane tana kI taka parvAha nhiiN| zilAsana para svayam bhI zilIbhUta ho kara jar3avat nizcala baiThA rahatA hai| aura ye pazu bekhaTaka isase zarIra se apane tana kA rabhasa kara, apanI khujAla miTAte rahate haiN| to kabhI isake aMgoM ko jihvA se cATate dIkhate haiN| para yaha to aisA jar3a bharata hai, ki koI bher3iyA Akara, isake aMgoM kA bhakSaNa kara jAye, taba bhI ise koI bhAna na aaye| .. tApasoM ke ina manobhAvoM aura kathanoM ko isa sAmane ke AkAza kI taraha par3hatA-sunatA rahatA huuN| saca hI to kahate haiM ye| para kyA upAya hai| rAjazvarya chor3a kara isIlie to nikala par3A hU~, ki eka kaNa para bhI apanA koI adhikAra nahIM rkkhuugaa| svayam svatantra vicarU~gA aura kaNa-kaNa ko apane se svatantra, usake nija bhAva meM mukta pariNamana karane duuNgaa| taba mere lie kyA Azrama, kyA kuTIra, kyA vana, kyA pahAr3a, kyA bastI, kyA smazAna, sabhI eka samAna haiN| jaba svayam pUrNa svatantra ho jAU~gA, to sAre carAcara prANI, apanI svatantratA meM akSuNNa raha kara mere dharma-sAmrAjya kA zAsana sahaja hI svIkAra leNge| usase pUrva kisI varjana yA tAr3ana se koI zAsana calAnA, mere svabhAva meM saMbhava nhiiN| ___mere pAsa Ane kA sAhasa to ve tApasa na kara ske| para apane kulapati se unhoMne merI udAsIna caryA kI zikAyata kI : 'he kulapati, Apako yaha taruNa rAjarSi AtmA ke samAna priya hai, hama jAnate haiN| so hama bhI isakI yatheSTa sevA aura sammAna karate haiN| para vicitra hai ApakA yaha atithi, jo vanya-caupAyoM ko nirbAdha apanI jhoMpar3I carane detA hai| taba ve DhITha pazu hamArI sArI tAr3anA ke bAvajUda, nirbhaya hokara, hamAre kuTIroM ko khAne A jAte haiN| na to yaha devAnupriya apanI rakSA karatA hai, na auroM kI rakSA kA dhyAna rakhatA hai| kaisA udAsI, akRtajJa, dAkSiNyahIna, aura pramAdI hai yaha shrmnn| aura kaho ki maunI aura samabhAvI muni hai, to vaha to hama bhI haiM, phira hameM hI kyA par3I hai, jo isakI sevA aura rakSA kareM. . / ' kulapati dharma-saMkaTa meM par3a gye| unheM pahale to pratIti na huii| taba svayam Akara unhoMne dekhaa| saca hI jo kuTIra mujhe diyA gayA thA, vaha ujar3a gayA thaa| zAkhA-patrahIna jaise koI ThUTha ho| pA~khoM Aye paMchI kI taraha vaha AcchAdanahIna aura ur3ane ko udyata diikhaa| kulapati cintAmagna ho gye| soca meM par3e cupa khar3e rhe| phira bahuta hI mRdu vacanoM meM mujhe sambodhana kiyA :

Page #36
26 'AyuSyamAna, tuma to janmajAta prajApati ho / kSatriya-putra ho / apanI aura sarvakI rakSA hI tumhArA jIvana-vrata hai / yaha kaise sambhava hai ki yahA~ tumhAre rahate, tumhAre ina tApasa bandhuoM ko kaSTa ho / unakI sAdhanA meM vighna aaye| jaba taka jIvana hai, zarIra hai, aura isa dharatI ke sAdhanoM para hama jIvana dhAraNa karate haiM, taba taka varjana- tAr3ana dvArA prakRti aura pazuoM ke vighna se bacAva to karanA hI hogA / sukhapUrvaka yahA~ varSAvAsa karo / para apane ko aura sabako nirbAdha rakkhoge, aisI AzA hai / ' svabhAva ke anusAra, kulapati kI ora ekaTaka nihAra kara, maiMne muskurA bhara diyA / aura cupa rahA / kulapati mAno Azvasta hokara cale gaye / maiMne mana hI mana socA, mujhe to kahIM koI bAdhA dIkhatI nahIM / sarvatra apane ko sukhI aura nirbAdha hI anubhava karatA huuN| para yadi merI svAbhAvika caryA ke kAraNa ina AzramavAsiyoM kA jIvana bAdhita ho gayA hai, to merA yahA~ se vihAra kara jAnA hI ucita hai / * jahA~ rahane se kisI ko aprIti ho, usa sthAna para bhaviSya meM kabhI nahIM viharU~gA / * jaba taka arihanta na ho jAU~, apane mauna ko aTUTa rakkhUMgA / cupa rahU~gA / * nitya kAyotsarga kI avasthA meM rahU~gA / * nirgratha svAdhIna digambara hU~, apanA svAmI Apa hU~, so aba kisI ke vaiyaktika svAmitva ke sthAna meM, parAdhIna Azraya grahaNa nahIM karU~gA / * aba se kisI ke bhI prati bAhya vinaya kA upacAra na karU~gA / svayam hI vinayamUrti ho rahU~gA '1 * aura agale dina prAtaH kAla uSA belA meM hI maiM apane alakSya yAtrA patha para vihAra kara gayA /

Page #37
bhaya-bhairava ke rAjya meM kabhI-kabhI eka vicitra avabodhana hotA hai| dekhatA hU~ ki koI varddhamAna hai, aura vaha apanI jagaha para hai| phira eka mahAvIra hai, aura vaha apanI dhurI para gatimAna hai| taba yaha jo tIsarA maiM hU~, yaha kauna hai ? jo ina donoM ko alaga se dekhatA hai| zAyada ina donoM ke bAda jo baca rahatA hai, vahI to maiM huuN| merA koI nAma nahIM, dhAma nahIM, mAna nahIM, anumAna nahIM, jJAna nahIM, ajJAna nahIM / anAma, akoI, jisakI koI saMjJA nahIM, paribhASA nhiiN| eka zUnya jo basa dekhatA hai : apane ko aura sarva ko| eka saMcetanA, sva kI para kI : phira bhI ina donoM se atIta / abhed| mAtra eka anubhUti / aura aisA maiM dekha rahA hU~ : -ki varddhamAna calate-calate jAne kisa apane hI bhItara kI jhAr3I meM ulajha gayA hai| asaMprajJAta jAne kisa pUrva janma kI graMthI meM aTaka kara, aTapaTA-sA ho gayA hai ... / ...para usase Age bekhaTaka calA jA rahA hai mhaaviir| jaise maMdarAcala cala rahA hai| zIta lezyA vAlA caMdramaMDala pRthvI para anAyAsa vihAra kara rahA hai| tapa aura teja ke isa mahAsUrya ko dekhate A~khoM ke palaka Dhalaka jAte haiN| meru ke samAna yaha nizcala hai, phira bhI jala kI taraha pravahamAna hai| pRthvI ke samAna sAre sparzoM ko sahane vAlA hai| gajendra kI taraha dhIragAmI hai : siMha kI taraha akutobhaya hai| ghRta-havyAdi se home hue agni ke samAna, mithyA-dRSTiyoM ke lie adRzya hai / geMDe ke eka zRMga ke samAna ekAkI hai| pracaMDa sAMr3ha ke samAna mahAbalazAlI hai| kUrma kI taraha apanI indriyoM ko gopana rakhane vAlA hai| sarpa ke samAna ekAgra dRSTi rakhakara vicaratA hai| zaMkha kI taraha yaha niraMjana hai| suvarNa kI taraha yaha jAtarUpa sundara, aura nirlepa hai| pakSI kI taraha yaha mukta hai| jIva ke samAna yaha askhalita gativAlA hai| . . aisA apramatta hai yaha, jaise bhAraMDa pakSI ho koI / AkAza sarIkhA yaha nirAzraya hai| mRga kI taraha sevaka rahita, phira bhI adIna aura akiMcana hai| pitA ke samAna jIvoM kI rakSA meM nirantara tatpara hai| kamaladala kI taraha aspRSTa hai, phira bhI apane mArdava se saba ko madu kara detA hai| zatru aura

Page #38
mitra, tRNa aura triyA, suvarNa aura pASANa, maNi aura mRttikA, loka aura paraloka, sukha aura duHkha saba ko yaha eka-sA upalabdha hai| saMsAra aura nirvANa donoM hI meM yaha samAna hRdaya se nigraMtha vicaratA hai| aisA niSkAraNa karuNAla hai isakA mana, ki bhavasAgara meM DUba rahe mur3ha jagata ko yaha taTa ho rahanA cAhatA hai| sAgara-mekhalA se valayita, vividha grAma, pura, pattana, parvata araNyoM se maMDita isa pRthvI para yaha pavana ke samAna apratibaMdha bhAva se vicara rahA hai . . / .. are, yaha kyA huA? nahIM hai kahIM koI alaga vrddhmaan| nahIM hai kahIM koI anya mhaaviir| basa kevala eka, ekAkI maiM hU~, jo apane hI ko yoM nirgamana karate dekha rahA huuN| ___ jisa dizA meM cala rahA hU~, udhara se bhaya ke bhairava kA nimaMtraNa sunAI par3a rahA hai| lomaharSaNa ho rahA hai, aura apane bAvajUda, usa bhayAvahatA kI ora khiMcA calA jA rahA huuN| jAne kauna, jAne kisa janma meM bhaya se saMtrasta huA hogaa| aura vahI cira bhayArta AtmA, aba svayam matimAna bhaya hokara prakaTa huI hai| * * *sAre loka ko vaha AtaMkita kiye haiN| * * *phira bhI apane Apa meM apane hI bhaya se saMtrasta ho kara, vaha AtmA kahIM vANa ke lie Akranda kara rahI hai| use apanI hI AtmabhIti se kauna mukta kareM? bar3I viSama hai usakI vednaa-grNthi| usakA unmocana kauna kare ? abera pUrvAhna meM eka gAMva ke prAMgaNa meM A phuNcaa| dekhA ki vahA~ asthiyoM kA eka stUpAkAra Dhera lagA hai / usake Asa-pAsa bhI dUra-dUra taka asthiyoM se chAyA eka pUrA maidAna phailA par3A hai| mere sAre zarIra meM vAsa kI eka kaiMpa-kapI-sI daur3a gii| mRtyu, bhaya aura vinAza ko maiMne jaise sAmane khar3e dekhaa| * *aura dekhate-dekhate eka prabala A~dhI-sI uThI / aura usameM vaha haDDiyoM kA stUpa aura prAntara ur3a kara dUra-dUra jAtA dikhAI pdd'aa| anantara dekhA, ki vaha prAMgaNa aba eka nirjana ujAr3a pradeza mAtra raha gayA hai| usameM eka dUrastha TIle para koI maMdira dikhAI pdd'aa| usakA ekAnta aura nairjanya mujhe apane AvAsa ke yogya lgaa| ___* * * maiM behicaka usa ora bar3ha claa| tabhI grAmajanoM kA eka TolA mere AsapAsa ghira aayaa| maiMne U~galI ke saMketa se una logoM ko vijJApita kiyA ki maiM isa maMdira meM vAsa karanA cAhatA huuN| mujhe koI maunI muni samajha kara unhoMne mere Azaya ko bhAMpa liyaa| taba unake bIca se utpala nAmaka eka daivajJa Age AyA, jo tIrthaMkara pArzvanAtha ke dharma-saMgha kA anusArI thaa| merI caryA aura cinhoM se mujhe pahacAna kara, vaha mere prati praNata huA aura grAmajanoM kI ora se usane nivedana kiyA :

Page #39
29 'bhante, hama Apako isa mandira meM nahIM Thaharane deNge| yaha zUlapANi yakSa kA mandira hai| koI bhI manuSya yahA~ rAtrivAsa kare, to vaha sabere jIvita nahIM nikalatA hai| yakSa kA kopabhAjana ho kara vaha mauta ke ghATa utAra diyA jAtA hai| * bhante, hama Apake AvAsa ke lie anyatra sundara vyavasthA kara deNge|' o. . . ! taba to yahI mandira merA ekamAtra AvAsa yahA~ ho sakatA hai| isI ke nimaMtraNa para to yahA~ AyA huuN| * * *aura maiM abhaya mudrA meM donoM hAtha uThA kara, avicalita pagoM se phira usa TIle kI ora bar3ha claa| grAmajana daur3e Aye aura cAroM ora se mujhe ghera kara unhoMne merI rAha roka lii| utpala daivajJa ne mere paira pakar3a liye aura kAtara kaMTha se prArthanA karane lagA : 'nahIM bhagavan, yaha hama nahIM hone deNge| vaizAlI ke devarSi rAjaputra zramaNa varddhamAna ko pahacAna rahA hai| unakI hameM jarUrata hai| hamArI kaSTa-kathA suneM aura hamArA vANa kreN| * * / ' maiMne AzvAsana kI hathelI uThA dii| anumati pAkara utpala ne kahA : 'bhante zramaNa varddhamAna, isa grAma kA nAma bhI pUrve 'varddhamAna' thaa| aba yaha asthika grAma kahalAtA hai| isakI eka bahuta kAruNika kathA hai| sunane kA kaSTa kareM bhagavana * * _ 'isa gAMva ke parale pAra eka vegavatI nAmA vikaTa nadI bahatI hai| pAnI to usameM bahuta gaharA nahIM, para kIcar3a-kardama ke kAraNa vaha aisI durgama aura jaTila hai, ki use pAra karane kA sAhasa jo bhI karatA hai, vaha usake daladala meM sadA ko so jAtA hai| eka bAra kauzAmbI kA eka dhana nAmA zreSThi apane pAMca sau zakaToM ke eka sArtha meM vipula vastu-sampadA lAda kara hamAre grAma ko A rahA thaa| nadI ko uthalI dekha kara, usake sArtha ke zakaTa pAra jAne ko usameM cala pdd'e| para majhadhAra meM A kara usakI sArI gAr3iyA~ gahare kAdava meM phaMsa gii| sArathiyoM ne cAbuka mAra-mAra kara bailoM ko calAnA caahaa| unakI tvacA ughar3a AI, aura ve DakAra kara Akranda karane lge| para Age na bar3ha ske| taba zreSThi ko apane ati baliSTa aura priya eka vRSabha kA khyAla aayaa| so saba se Age ke zakaTa meM usako jota kara, usake sAtha anya gAr3iyoM ko bA~dha diyA aura bar3I kaThinAI se ve nadI pAra utara aaye| 'pAra to utara Aye, prabhu, lekina zreSThi ke pyAre usa balavAna baila kI bar3hI durgati ho gaI / usake zarIra ke sA~dhe TUTa gaye, haDDiyA~ daraka gaIM aura camar3e ughar3a Aye / zreSThi bahuta dukhita ho vilApa karane lagA / dUra

Page #40
pAsa ke aneka pazu-cikitsaka usane bulavAye / rAta-dina khar3e paga raha kara usakI sevA-suzruSA karane lagA / para baila kI hAlata meM sudhAra kA koI cihna na dIkhA / sArthavAha zreSThi Akhira hAra kara Age bar3hane ko lAcAra ho gayA / usane gA~va ke mukhiyAoM ko apanA pyArA mitra vRSabha dharohara ke rUpa meM saheja diyaa| usake poSaNa aura cikitsA ke lie unheM vipula dravya de diyaa| aura eka dina apane dharAzAyI pazu-bAndhava kI A~khoM ke A~sU poMchatA, svayam A~sU TapakAtA, apanA sArtha lekara, vaha Age kUca kara gayA / kaha gayA ki vRSabha ke svastha hone para, phira use livA le jaauuNgaa|... . 'aba Apa se kyA chupA hai, bhante, manuSya manuSya kA hI sagA nahIM hotA, to pazu kA kyoM kara hogA / so hamAre gA~va ke usa samaya ke mukhiyA, baila kI sevA-cikitsA ke lie diyA sArthavAha zreSThi kA dhana har3apa kara nizcinta ho gaye / pIr3ita vRSabha to unheM svapna meM bhI yAda na rahA / becAre usa mUka tiryaMca pazu kI bahuta durgati huI / na kisI ne use cArApAnI dene kI cintA kI, na usakA auSadha-upacAra kiyaa| kucha hI samaya meM vaha bhUkha-pyAsa se pIr3ita baila adhamarA ho kara, asthi-carma kA DhA~cA mAtra raha gayA / vaha pazu saMjJI mana vAlA paMcendriya prANI thA / atizaya dukha ke kAraNa use apanI dayanIya sthiti kA tIvra bodha huA / manuSyoM kI nirdayatA aura pravaMcakatA ke prAMta usakA hRdaya utkaTa glAni aura krodha se bhara uThA / eka ora to apane svAmI kI kAruNikatA aura maitrI ke prati usakA mana kRtajJA se kAtara ho AyA / dUsarI ora mAnava mAna kI svArthaparatA ke prati usake antas meM prabala dhikkAra aura tiraskAra upjaa| ___'so prabhu vahI vRSabha akAma nirjarA se mRtyu ko prApta ho kara, isa grAma ke sImAntara para zulapANi nAmA vyantara huA / vyantara deva ko janma se hI vibhaMga avadhijJAna hotA hai| usI se usane apane pUrvajanma kI kathA jAna lii| pichale bhava ke apane santapta vaSabha zarIra ko bhI usane apanI A~khoM Age pratyakSa dekhA / satyAnAzI krodha se vaha yakSadeva zUlapANi unmatta ho uThA / apanI adhomukhI daivI zakti se usane hamAre isa pradeza meM bhayaMkara mahAmArI kA roga vikurvita kiyA / usake kAraNa saikar3oM grAmajana nitya marane lage / so yahA~ mRtakoM kI asthiyoM kA Dhera laga gayA / yahA~ kA sArA vanAMgana asthiyoM se chA gyaa| usI kAraNa isa grAma kA sundara nAma 'varddhamAna' logoM ko bhUla gayA / aura ve ise asthika grAma ke nAma se hI pukArane lage ... / ' .. suna kara maiM sahasA hI kSaNa bhara ko antarmukha ho gayA / merI ardhonmIlita dRSTi meM phira eka bAra vaha haDDiyoM kA pahAr3a aura prAntara jhalaka aayaa| * * he bhavyo, sAre hI janAlaya mUla meM to barddhamAna hI hai| .

Page #41
manuSya ke kaSAyoM aura kukRtyoM se, kAla pAkara ve asthika grAma ho jAte haiM / hAr3a-piMjaroM ke jaMgala aura smazAna ho jAte haiM / hAya re, kaSAyakliSTa manuSya kI niyati / - 'merI A~kheM khulIM, to phira se utpala kA svara sunAI par3A : ____ 'ajJAnI aura andha zraddhAlu grAmavAsI isa durdaiva kA rahasya gA~va-gA~va ke daivajJoM se pUchate phire / satya ko daivajJa kyA jAneM / unhoMne aTakala paMcU managaDhanta kAraNa batAye / aise karma-kANDa aura vidhi-vidhAna batAye, jisase unakI udarapUrti ho sake / hara caure, devala, vRkSa, patthara ke deva hamAre logoM ne pUje-padharAye / para mahAmArI kA prakopa bar3hatA hI gayA / taba adhikAMza loga yaha pradeza chor3akara paradeza cale gaye / vahA~ bhI yamadUta kI taraha pahu~ca kara, yakSa ne cunacuna kara hamAre grAmajanoM ko mahAmArI kA grAsa banAyA / taba grAmaloka ne milakara vicAra kiyA : jAna par3atA hai anajAna meM hamane kisI deva, daitya, yakSa yA kSetrapAla ko kupita kiyA hai / so apane hI janapada meM lauTakara use prasanna karane kA upAya kareM / ataH lauTakara hamAre pUrvaja phira apane grAma Aye / 'taba eka dina saba ne snAna se pavitra ho kara, uttarAsaMga dhAraNa kara, zveta uttarIya paridhAna kiyaa| keza khule chor3a hAthoM meM pUjA-dravya aura dhUpa-dIpa lie AbAlavRddha-vanitA, hara catvara, trika, udyAna, vanakhaNDa, bhUtagRha, khaMDahara meM bali ur3Ate hue, dIna vadana, mukha U~cA kiye, jAne-anajAne sAre hI devI-devatA, asura, yakSa, rAkSasa,kinnaroM se prArthanA karate ghUma cle| - 'ki he devatAo, yadi asAvadhAnI meM hamase ApakI koI avamAnanA huI ho to hameM nirbala, kSudra, ajJAnI jAna,hamAre aparAdhoM ko kSamA kareM / hameM jIvanadAna kareM / 'taba lokajanoM kI Arta vANI ke uttara meM antarikSa se yakSa bolA : ore dRSTa, durbhAvI mAnavoM, tuma ghora kRtaghna, svArthI aura pApAtmA ho / pUrva janma meM mere pazu zarIra vRSabha kA jIvitavya taka tuma har3apa gaye / vaha vRSabha mRtyu pA kara aba maiM zUlapANi yakSa huA huuN| aura usI pUrva baira se kSubdha ho kara maiM tumhArI sArI jAti se badalA le rahA huuN| * * *para aba tuma dInadayanIya hokara prArthI hue ho to suno : isa asthiyoM ke stUpa kA cabUtarA cunavA kara tuma usa para mere AvAsa ke lie eka mandira nirmANa karo / aura usameM mere pUrva janma ke vRSabha-rUpa kI mUrti sthApita kara nitya, usakA pUjana-ArAdhanA karo / tabhI merI kSubdha AtmA zAnta hogI, aura tumhArA vANa ho sakegA / 'so he bhante, yaha sAmane kA mandira hamAre usI prAyazcita kA pratIka hai / indrazarmA nAmaka eka brAhmaNa ko bhArI vetana dekara yahAM pujArI niyukta

Page #42
kiyA gayA hai / sA~jha hote na hote, mandira nirjana ho jAtA hai / pujArI bhI apane ghara calA jAtA hai / koI bhaTakate kApAlika, sAdhu, kArpaTika haThapUrvaka yahA~ rAnivAsa karate haiM, to sabere unakI lAza hI milatI hai / bar3A durdAnta aura bhayaMkara hai yaha yakSa / Apa lokanAtA sukumAra yogI haiN| ApakA jIvana hamArI sampadA hai / hama para dayA kareM, aura yahA~ vAsa na kareM, bhante !' __ mere niHzvAsa meM se dhvanita huaa| sasmita vadana maiMne sAmane ke maMdira para dRSTipAta kiyaa| apalaka use avalokatA rhaa| lokajana bhayabhIta, staMbhita dekhate raha gye| maiMne bekhaTaka dA~yA hAtha uThA kara, maMdira kI ora nizcala aMguli-nirdeza kiyaa|* * mahAvIra kA AvAsa, anyana nahIM, isI maMdira meM ho sakatA hai| merA nizcaya patthara kI lakIra ke samAna lokajanoM ke hRdaya para aMkita ho gyaa| ve samajha gaye ki yaha lipi aTala hai : ise TAlA nahIM jA sktaa|* * * aura apratiruddha gati se calatA huA, mandira kI sIr3hiyAM car3ha bhItara praveza kara gyaa| lauTate hue grAmajanoM ke bhayabhIta cintAkula cehare maiM dekha skaa| - 'he bhavyo, kaba taka bhaya se yoM bhAge phiroge ? .. mandira ke eka kone meM maiM pratimAyoga Asana lagA kara dhyAnastha khar3A ho gayA / * sandhyA ghira aaii| pujArI dhUpa-dhUnA karake zaMkha, ghaMTA, ghar3iyAla aura nakkAr3e ke caNDanAda ke sAtha vRSabha devatA kI AratI karane lgaa|...ekaaek nIravatA vyApa gii| pujArI ne mere nikaTa A kara anurodha kiyA : 'devArya, mandira kA tyAga kreN| yakSa devatA manuSya kI chAyA taka se ghRNA karate haiN| yahA~ rAta raha kara, koI jIvita nahIM niklaa|' maiMne koI uttara nahIM diyaa| apane pairoM meM maiMne meru ko anubhava kiyaa| mandira nirjana nicATa ho gyaa| ghanIbhUta andhakAra / sUnakAra snnaattaa| devAsana ke pAda prAnta meM bahuta maddhima ekelA diiyaa| bAhara sA~ya-sAMya, bhA~yabhAya karatI sAMjhiyA hvaaeN| baja cuke nakkAr3e kI avaziSTa pratidhvani / bhaya-bhairava kA dhauMsA akhaNDa nAda se merI dhamaniyoM meM bajane lgaa| bAhara kI patajhAroM meM kinhIM vanya jIvoM kI pgcaa| pIpala aura udambara vRkSa kI virala pattoM vAlI zAkhAoM meM khar3akhar3AhaTa / kisI adRzya sattA kI khar3AuoM kI gambhIra AhaTa / * 'sahasA hI utkaTa ghoSa ke sAtha megha gar3agar3Ane lge| IzAna koNa meM vidyullekhAe~ tar3akane lgiiN| mandira kA piNDIbhUta andhakAra dhasaka AtI dIvAroM sA mujha para TUTane lgaa| dIvAroM meM dvAra khulane lge| hajAroM bhUtapretoM kI bhISaNa AkRtiyA~ unameM se savArI kI taraha nikalane lgiiN| bhayAvaha

Page #43
narjanya kI stabdhatA meM kisI ajJAta naTa kI chAyA-khelA calane lagI . / saMsArI prANiyoM kI AtmA meM AdikAla se biddha puMjIbhUta bhaya, pracaMDatara AkAroM meM lambAyamAna hotA huA mere cAroM ora tANDava nRtya karane lgaa| __ mere pairoM ke nIce kI dharatI ghasakane lgii| Upara se AkAza phaTatA dikhAI pdd'aa| zUnya kI khaMdaka meM adhara Ta~gA raha gayA huuN| raha-raha kara merI nasoM meM kisI adRSTa kA dunivAra pada-saMcAra ho rahA hai| roMgaTe kIloM kI taraha khar3e ho jAte haiN| rakta meM bijaliyoM ke visphoTa ho rahe haiN| apanI kAyA meM uThate hilloloM ko dekha rahA huuN| lekina cetanA kA laMgara kisI atala-amUla meM par3A hai| aura paira mere mandarAcala meM gar3e hue haiN| * *aura unnata mastaka, udbhinna chAtI ke sAtha nivedita huuN| utsargita huuN| * * *sahasA hI stabdha dIpAloka meM, vRSabha para eka kajjala giri jaisI durdaNDa bhairavamUrti savAra dikhAI pdd'ii| usameM raha-raha kara agni kI sindUrI dhAriyA~ sa~paliyoM-sI laharA kara vilIna ho jAtI haiN| vajra ninAda se dharatI dahala utthii| aura eka ghora rava sunAI par3A : ' 'ore uddhata manuja-putra, terA aisA sAhasa ! zUlapANi yakSa kA nAma nahIM sunA, kyA re nAdAna? merI zakti ko lalakAra rahA hai? mere pratApa ko cunautI dene vAlA tU kauna ? maiM terI jAti ko nirmUla karake hI caina luuNgaa| . . 'merI vyathA ko tU nahIM jAnatA, pAkhaNDI! jAna bhI nahIM skegaa|' mandira ke gumbada meM se uttara gUMjA merA : 'jAnatA hU~, mitra, tere marma kI yAtanA ko| Atma-saMkleza ke narakAgAra me mukti nahIM cAhegA, bandhu ?' 'mukti' * * ? tU mujhe mukti dene AyA hai, krUra, kRtaghnI manuSya kI santAna! dUra haTa mere sAmane se, yA phira apane kAla kA AliMgana kara * * !' mujhe aDiga dekha kara, yakSa ghora aTTahAsa kara utthaa| sArI sRSTi tharrA uThI, aura AkAza vidIrNa hone lgaa| mere pairoM meM bhUkampa ke hilore daur3a gye| aura unake bIca maiMne apane ko akampa lau kI taraha sthira dekhaa| . . aura dekhA ki grAmajana apane banda gharoM meM baiThe tharatharA rahe haiM : aura kaha rahe haiM--nizcaya hI aba zUlapANi ne usa sukumAra zramaNa para khar3aga prahAra kiyA hai| ___ mujhe aTala aura apratihata khar3A dekha kara, phira durdAnta garjanA karatA huA yakSa, agnibANa kI taraha sanasanAtA huA, jaise gumbada ko bheda kara pAra ho gayA /

Page #44
34 * aura kyA dekhatA hU~, ki vanyA ke pUra kI taraha ciMghAr3atA huA eka ghora hAthI donoM paira uThA kara mujha para TUTa par3A / merI kAyA ne komala hariyAle krIr3A - parvata kI taraha lahaka kara, gajarAja ke usa bhArI bharakama padAghAta ko jhela liyA / 'hAthI eka gaharI niHzvAsa chor3akara mere pairoM meM apanI sUMr3a DhAla kara loTane lagA / maiMne mana hI mana use pyAra se sahalA diyA / ki ThIka tabhI bhUmi aura AkAza ke mAnadaNDa samAna eka pizAca sAmane A khar3A huA / usake sAre zarIra meM zUla uge hue the / nimiSa mAtra meM cItkAra kara vaha mujha se lipaTa gayA / kasa-kasa kara vaha mujhe apane AliMga meM adhika-adhika jakar3ane lagA / mere roma chidra sikur3e nahIM, ekadama DhIle ho kara khula par3e / unakI USmA meM pizAca kI deha ke sAre zUla pighala - pighala kara bahane lage / hA~phate hue vaha merI chAtI meM gur3I-mur3I ho kara zaraNa khojane lagA / * * parAjaya ke AghAta se aura bhI adhika vikSipta hokara yakSa ne phira bhayaMkara huMkAra dhvani kI / aura maiMne dekhA ki usa abhedya andhakAra meM se nIlI- harI viSa - jvAlAe~ ugalatA huA eka bhujaMgama sarpa AvirbhUta huA / apanI phuMphakAroM se hariyAlI lapaTe pheMkate hue usane merI sArI kAyA ko apanI kuMDaliyoM meM jakar3a liyA / mere po-pora meM duHsaha viSadAha dhadhakane lagA / maiM jaise Ahuti kI taraha udgrIva ho kara, usa havana kuMDa meM kUda par3A / sarpa kI umra DAr3heM, mere aMga-aMga ko Dasane lgiiN| usake dezoM ke prati, mA~ kI dUdhabharI chAtI kI taraha, merI rakta dhamaniyA~ umar3ane lagIM / nAgadevatA pIte-pIte aghA gaye / aura alasA kara, mere padanakha para phana DhalakA kara vizrabdha ho gaye / hAre hue yakSarAja kA vikSobha parAkASThA para pahu~ca gyaa| unakA sArA zarIra eka jalatI huI pralamba zalAkA bana kara sAre mandira meM pherI dene lagA / phira vaha zalAkA kaI jAjvalyamAna ballama bana kara cAroM ora se sannAtI huI mere aMgoM kA chedana karatI-sI lagI / 'aura haThAt anubhava huA, ki mere mastaka, netra, nAsikA, dA~ta, pRSTha, merudaNDa, mUtrAzaya aura nakha Adi sAre hI marma sthAnoM meM eka sAtha durdamya zUla kI vedanA pragaTa huI hai / apane snAyuoM meM, pIr3A se chaTapaTAte apane prANoM ke usa saMtrAsa ko maiM nagna aura nirnimeSa nayanoM se dekhatA hI raha gayA / pUrNa jAgRta aura sanmukha bhAva se usa vedanA ko maiM sahatA hI calA gayA | aTUTa aura avirodhI cetanA ke sAtha | akSuNNa aura akSubdha citta se yakSa devatA ke janmAntaroM ke vikSobhoM ko maiM apane snAyu-maMDala meM dhAraNa karatA calA gayA / pratiSedha hIna / niSkampa, durdamya * maiM / antahIna

Page #45
* * 'haThAt mere pairoM meM dhamAkA huaa| nIlI-sindUrI lampaToM se prajjvalita zUlapANi yakSa kA vizAla zarIra mahAvIra ke caraNoM meM Dhalaka par3A / aMjulibaddha karoM ke sAtha vaha prArthanAkula svara meM bolA : 'mahAkAruNika prabhu / mere akAraNa vatsala pitA / sarvazaktimAna ho, svAmI / isa durAtmA ne tumhArI zakti ko na jaanaa| tumheM pahacAnane meM mujhe bahuta dera laga gaI / janma-janmAntara ke vallabha eka tumhIM to ho / jAne kitane bhavoM kI merI vyathAe~, vedanAe~, vikSobha tumane hara lie| mere dAruNa se dAruNatama prahAroM ko avicala tuma sahate hI cale gye| aura merI cetanA meM baddhamUla kaSAyoM kI bhavAntaroM kI viSa-graMthiyAM khulatI calI gayIM / maiM mukta huA, maiM upazAnta huaa| mere muktidAtA...A gaye tuma ! bolo, tumhArA kyA priya karUM ?' devAsana para AsIna vRSabha ke bhItara se uttara sunAI par3A : 'merA nahIM, apanA hI priya karo, bandhu / apane hI ko pUrNa pyAra kro| itanA ki prANi mAtra ApoApa tumhAre priyapAtra ho jaayeN| tuma nahIM, sarvatra kevala tumhArA pyAra raha jaaye| mittI meM savva bhUdeSu. . .!' yakSa ke bhrUmadhya meM samyaka cakSu khula uThA / vaha Ananda vibhora ho kara kilakAriyAM karatA huA, mere cAroM ora, phUTa par3ate jharanoM ke samAna nRtya-saMgIta karane lgaa| Adi kAla se usakI cetanA meM jamI kalmaSa kI caTTAneM usameM galagala kara bahane lgiiN|...bhyaakul grAmajanoM ne socA nizcaya hI yakSa ne usa kumAra-yogI kA vadha kara diyA hai| aura aba vaha vijaya-garva se matta hokara saMgItanRtya kara rahA hai| cAra prahara rAtri taka bhaya-bhairava ke sAtha jo anavarata yuddha calA thA, usa zrama ke kAraNa eka gaharI mukti kA-sA bodha huaa| so antima prahara meM mujha para eka sudakha tandrA-sI chA gaI / aura usake daurAna vicitra sapanoM kI eka paramparA merI cetanA meM khulatI calI gii| bAlya autsukya se usa chAyAlIlA ko dekhatA rahA / sattA ke vibhinna staroM meM jAne kahA~-kahA~ kaise anahone khela cala rahe haiM, so kitane loga jAna pAte haiN| jaba jAga kara bahirmukha huA, to dekhA ki mandira ke pUrva dvAra meM Akara sUrya vandanA kI mudrA meM khar3e haiN| mana hI mana namaskAra karake prathama aditi-putra kA maiMne svAgata kiyaa| tabhI grAmajanoM kA eka bar3A samudAya maMdira ke prAMgaNa meM khar3A dikhAI pdd'aa|...maiN mandira ke sopAna para A khar3A huaa| mujhe akSata, pUjita aura prasanna dekha kara grAma loka Ananda-vibhora ho jayaninAda karane lge|

Page #46
UrdhvabAhu abhaya-mudrA meM mere donoM hAtha Upara uTha gye| jAne kitane hI vinata mastakoM kI paMktiyA~ sAmane dikhAI pdd'ii| saba se Age khar3e the, pArkhApatya daivajJa utpala zarmA / aSTAMga nimittajJAnI ve jyotivid bole : 'avasarpiNIkAla ke antima tIrthakara, utpala ke praNAma svIkAreM / dhanya haiM mahAzramaNa varddhamAna, jo asthi-piMjara ho gaye asthikagrAma ko phira apanI dharmajyoti se apane mUla varddhamAna svarUpa meM lauTA lAye / 'svAmin, kyA yaha satya hai ki vigata rAtri ke antima prahara meM Apane dasa svapna dekhe haiM * * * ?' maiM cupa, sthira muskurA aayaa| utpala bhAvita ho kara bole 'prabhu kI AjJA le kara maiM una svapnoM kA phala kahanA cAhatA hU~ / apanI gati Apa svayam jAnate haiM, antaryAmin ! phira bhI bhaktivaza nivedana karatA huuN| kRpA kara suneM, bhante / * pahale svapna meM Apane tAlapizAca kA hanana kiyA hai : to jAne lokajana ki yogIzvara mahAvIra eka dina moha kA nirmUla nAza kara deMge / dUsare svapna meM Apane zukla pakSI dekhA hai : to svAmI paramotkRSTa zukla dhyAna meM ArUr3ha hoNge| tIsare svapna meM Apane jo citra-vicitra kokila dekhA hai, vaha batAtA hai ki prabhu ke zrImukha se dvAdazAMgI jinavANI uccarita hogI / pA~caveM svapna meM prabhu ne govarga dekhA hai : so usake phala-svarUpa caturvidha dharmasaMgha ApakA anusaraNa kregaa| 'aura suneM bhagavan, chaThe svapna meM dekhA padma sarovara sUcita karatA hai ki solahoM svargoM ke deva tIrthaMkara prabhu kI sevA meM niyukta hoMge / sAtaveM svapna meM devArya samudra tara gaye : so ye mahAvIra bhava samudra tara jAyeMge / AThaveM svapna meM Apane lokazIrSa para sUryodaya hote dekhA : so prabhu kevalajJAna ke mahAsUrya hokara lokAloka ko prakAzita kareMge / nauveM svapna meM, he nAtha, Apane mAnuSottara parvata ko apanI A~toM se AveSThita dekhA : so ApakI kaivalya kIti se tInoM loka jhalamalA uTheMge / dasaveM svapna meM Apane apane ko merugiri ke zikhara para ArUr3ha dekhA : to sarva lokajana jAneM ki ye bhagavAna triloka aura trikAla ke siMhAsana para AsIna hokara, sarva carAcara ko apanI dharmadezanA se Alokita kareMge / . lekina he bhagavan, cauthe svapna meM jo Apane sugandhita puSpoM kI do eka-sI mAlAe~ dekhIM haiM, unakA rahasya maiM nahIM samajha sakA * * ?' . kahakara daivajJa utpala jijJAsu dRSTi se merI ora dekhate raha gye| maiMne apanA dAyA~ hAtha, sIdhA Upara uThA diyA aura bA~yeM hAtha se nIce kI ora iMgita kiyaa| aMtarikSa meM se uttara dhvanita huA :

Page #47
'apulvo * * apuvvo nigaMThanAtaputto / apUrva hai : apUrva hai yaha nigraMthajJAtaputra / saMsAra aura nirvANa donoM meM yaha jinendra samAna rUpa se vicaraNa karegA. . .!' utpala ke mukha se nikalA : 'yaha to kucha apUrva aura asambhava suna rahA hU~, prabhu / kisI arhat ne pahale aisA to nahIM kahA / ' aucaka hI lauTa kara maiM mandira meM praveza kara gyaa| dUra-dUra jAtI sahasroM kaNThoM kI samaveta jaya dhvaniyA~ kSitija para maMDalAtI sunAI pdd'ii| mandira kA prAMgaNa nirjana ho jAne para, maiM vahA~ ke eka sappacchada vRkSa tale kI zilA para Akara dhyAnastha ho gyaa| * * dUrI meM dekhA ki gA~va meM bhArI utsava maca gayA hai| aneka grAmya vAjina-dhvaniyoM ke bIca nara-nArIjana raMgabiraMge vastrAbhUSaNoM meM saja kara nAca-gAna kara rahe haiN| kaI pIr3hiyoM ke bAda samAroha pUrvaka phira 'varddhamAna' grAma kA navajanmotsava ho rahA hai / . . AsapAsa ke sAre sanniveza ke lie vividha vyaMjanI rasoI kA pAka huA hai| kSIrAnna ke kezara-mevoM kI sugandha ne merI deha ko vyApa liyaa| usa samasta bhojana kA ApoApa jaise mujha meM AharaNa ho gyaa| * dina car3hane para gAjebAje ke sAtha grAma-lakSmiyA~ pakvAnoM kA eka vizAla svarNa thAla sajAye yahA~ aaii| use mere sammakha naivedya kara lokajanoM ne mujhase anunaya kI : _ 'bho svAmin, AhAra-jala zuddha hai, zuddha hai, zuddha hai / grahaNa kara hameM kRtArtha kareM / . . .' ___ uttiSTha ho kara pANi-pAtra me eka grAsa le maiMne hAtha khIMca liye / - phira hAtha jor3a kara Atmastha ho gyaa| grAmajana Ananda-vibhora ho prasAda khAte hue nAcagAna ke sAtha hula-dhvaniyA~ aura zaMkhanAda karane lage* * / saba kI ora se preSita eka ujjvala vezinI kumArikA ne Akara anurodha kiyA : 'bhante devArya, yaha varSAyoga yahIM sampanna karake, prabhu isa grAma ko nitya / varddhamAna kreN| mere nizceSTa mauna se ve svIkRti kA bodha pA kara gadgad ho gye| phira mere manobhAva se iMgita pA kara ve mandira meM gye| devAsana para pratiSThita vRSabhamUrti meM unhoMne sarva-saMrakSaka dharma kA darzana paayaa| utpala zarmA ne nanheM bAlakabAlAoM dvArA usakA pUjana karavAyA / aura mandira kI chata meM se pahalI bAra zUlapANi kA mRdu vatsala kaNTha svara sunAI par3A : 'mittI me savva bhudeSu * * * !'

Page #48
38 antima rUpa se abhaya aura surakSA kI anupama zAMti meM magna ho kara jana pravAha phira Anandotsava manAtA huA grAma kI ora lauTa claa| usI dina ke tIsare pahara AkAza meM prakANDa nakkAr3oM kA tumula ghoSa hone lgaa| pegharAja kAlAguru ke pahAr3a jaise diggaja para car3ha kara aaye| unakI ghanaghora garjanA se diganta dahalane lge| AkAza ko tar3akAtI bijaliyA~, ajJAta parvata-zikharoM aura khandakoM meM TUTane lgiiN| mUsalAdhAra varSA Arambha ho gyii| bIca-bIca meM alpa virAma hotaa| aura phira humaka-humaka kara bAdala velAe~ nita naye vega se ghumar3ane lagatIM / logoM ko kahate sunA, isa bAra kA caumAsA avaDhara dAnI ho kara barasa rahA hai| . ___maiM rAta aura dina isI saptachada ke tale avirala bhAva se dhyAnastha rahane lagA huuN| U~cI-U~cI hariyAlI aura kIca-kAdava ke gaharoM se cAroM ora kI rAha ruMdha gaI hai| bhItara aisI rasavaSTi hotI rahatI hai, ki zarIra meM gamanAgamana kI koI ceSTA hI nahIM rahI hai| grAmajana nitya bhojana-belA meM maMgala-kalaza sAje, bhikSuka kA dvArApekSaNa karate thaka gye| zramaNa avirAma vRSTidhArAoM meM nahAtA saptacchada vRkSa tale zilIbhUta baiThA hai| hilane kA nAma nahIM letaa| bar3hatI vanaspatiyoM meM usakI deha DhaMkI jA rahI hai| lokajanoM ne socA ki hariyAlI kA tana rauMda kara zramaNa bAhara caryA nahIM kregaa| so unhoMne kucha zilAkhaMDa rakha kara, mere nikalane kI rAha bnaayii| aura usI rAha svayaM bhI A kara aneka vinatiyA~ karane lage : ki viSAkta jIvajantu se bhare ina vanaspati-jAloM se bAhara aauuN| varSA-pAnI ke thaper3oM se bacUM aura mandira kI chA~va svIkArU~ / unake dvArA Ayojita prAsuka AhAra grahaNa kruuN| * yaha nitya-krama sAmAyika ke kAlAbAdhita sukha ko bhaMga karane lgaa| * * *so eka dina kisI nirjana belA meM, vahA~ se uTha kara cala pdd'aa| eka pagaDaNDI mujhe livA le calI / jahA~ pahu~ca kara vaha zeSa huI, vahA~ pAyA ki eka vIhar3a araNya pradeza meM A gayA huuN| kisI pahAr3I kI Urdhvamukha caTTAna para AsIna ho gayA huuN| cAroM ora durgama araNyAniyoM aura saMkula vanaspatiloka se ghira gayA huuN| aura virAT varSAkula prakRti ke bIca mAnoM usakA hArda-puruSa bana kara avasthita hU~ / pracaNDa gar3agar3AhaTa ke sAtha ghaTATopa meghoM ke dala mujha para car3ha Ate haiM / aura kalpAntakAla kI bahiyA bana kara mujha para phaTa par3ate haiM / cAhatA hU~, isa AplAvana meM baha jAU~, DUba jAU~, niHzeSa ho jAU~ / nirvApita ho nirvANa pA jAU~ / para kyA hai yaha mere bhItara, jo eka dhruva,

Page #49
kUTastha mandarAcala kI taraha Urdhva meM unnIta hai / aura yagAnta ke samudra jAne kitanI hI vanyAe~ bana kara Ate haiM, aura merI zirAoM meM se komala zAMta nadiyA~ bana kara bahate dIkhate haiN| * * durdAnta ghoSa karatI huI zampAe~, jaba kSitijoM para kar3akar3A kara TUTatI haiM, to mere mUlAdhAra dahala uThate haiM aura unameM se eka mahAvAsanA kI jvAlA-sI lahakatI hai / jI cAhatA hai ki ulkAoM ke ye vaja mujha para TUTeM, aura inake satyanAza ko maiM sahU~, jAne, jI jAU~ / aura merI isa askhalita vAsanA ke uttara meM, ve vidyullatAe~ mere aMgoM para atIva sundarI, sukumArI aMganAe~ bana kara TUTatI haiM / unakI visphoTaka dhvaniyoM meM, mere sarvAMga ko AliMgana meM kasatI bAhuoM ke kaMkaNarava raNakAra uThate haiM / - * * kucha hI dinoM meM dekhA ki isa niHsIma carAcara prakRti ke sAtha ekIbhUta, tadAkAra ho gayA hU~ / mAnoM ki isI kI anAdi purAtana sA~valI kAyA meM se eka kAsya puruSa utkIrNa ho AyA hai / A~dhI-varSA ke mUlocchedaka thaper3oM ke bIca, vaha AkAza ko vedhatA huA uttAna aura unmukta khar3A hai / usakI AjAnu pralaMbamAna bhujAoM, aura rAnoM para latAe~ lipaTa gaI haiM / maNiyoM se damakate bhujaMgama nAga usakI jA~ghoM aura chAtI ko parirambhaNa meM kase haiM / phira usake hRdaya-deza para cumbana karate hue ve gaharI sugaMdha-mUrchA meM zithila ho gaye haiM / aMgAMgoM para komala kAI Azvasta bhAva se uga AI hai / usake pagataloM aura TAMgoM meM kaI sarisRpoM ne apanI bAMbiyAM banA lI haiM / usake caraNa yugala ke bIca nyole sA~poM ko apanI chAtI se cA~pe sneha-sukha se vibhora leTe haiM / vRSTidhArAoM se sanasanAtI bhayAvaha prANahArI rAtriyoM meM aneka viSAkta goha, chipakaliyA~ Adi jantu usakI avicala latAcchAdita jA~ghoM aura bAhu-mUloM ke USma gahvaroM meM abhaya bhAva se zaraNAgata haiM / cAhe jaba ve usake zarIra ke kisI bhI bhAga meM nizcinta bhAva se reMgate dikhAI par3ate haiN| . . . __ tApasa varddhamAna ne phira eka bAra mahAvIra ko akutobhaya mudrA meM sAmane khar3A dekhA / * * 'oha, Atman, tumhI to mere ekameva svarUpa ho / anAvaraNIya, anAghAtya / deza kAla kA bodha vismRta ho gayA hai / aura mere roMye-royeM meM anavarata jAne kisa mA~ ke vakSoMjoM kA dUdha abhisiMcita hotA rahatA haiM / . . trizalA, tuma udAsa kyoM hotI ho ? dekho na, tumhArI chAtI kitanI vismRta ho gaI hai ! aura usameM tumhArA beTA jaise sadA ko amartya ho gayA hai / * * varSAyoga kI samApti para, eka dina dekhA ki vRSabha-mandira ke sopAna utara kara maiM prayANa kara rahA hU~ / parisara ke saniveza se hajAroM

Page #50
40 lokajana merI aniyata rAha para bahuta dUra taka mujhe pahu~cAne Aye / ekAgra, eka dizonmukha calA jA rahA hU~ / pairoM meM kitane hI mastaka, sugaMdhita keza-kalApa, aura A~cala vicha kara simaTa jAte haiM / ... lauTate janoM kI premAkula sisakiyA~ sunAI par3a jAtI haiM / " Azvina kI naI suhAnI dhUpa meM hariyAlI vanya rAha para, ekAkI haMsa kI taraha apane ko gatimAna dekha rahA huuN| tabhI acAnaka pIche se kisI ne merA kandhA chU diyA / phira eka vizAla tamasAkAra AkRti mere pairoM meM A girI / sunAI par3A : 'bhagavan, tribhuvana ke tAranahAra ho / bhava-bhava kI klipTa kaSAya graMthiyoM se tumane mujha pApAtmA ko mukta kara diyA / he akAraNa bhavyavatsala prabhu, jo dAruNa kaSTa tumako maiMne diye. unake lie mujhe kSamA kara jAo ! ' uttara meM sunAI par3A : 'zUlapANi, sAvadhAna, tuma pApAtmA kaise ? AtmA aura pApa sAtha nahIM jAte / pApa se aspRzya hai AtmA / kSamA anya kauna kara sakatA hai ? svayam hI apane prabhu ho jaao| Apa hI apane ko kSamA kara sakate ho / Apa hI apane ko pyAra kara sakate ho / bujjhaha 'bujjhaha, zUla pANi ! . tatvama'si ! ' dekhate-dekhate vaha kajjalakAya yakSa zvetAbha ho gayA / usake lalATa meM samyaktva cakSu khula AyA / avijJAta dizA meM, apane hI samaya patha para calAcala rahA hU~ /

Page #51
appa dIpo bhava maiM to kucha bolatA nahIM / kevala dekhatA rahatA hU~, jo bhI sAmane Aye / jahA~ kahIM bhI a~dherA dIkhatA hai, bhItara kI rozanI ApoApa prakaTa ho kara use ujAla detI hai / vAtAvaraNa meM vyApta zabda ke paramANu taba Apa hI sphUrta ho kara usa prakAza ko dhvanita kara dete haiM / parAvAk vAkmAna ho uThate haiM / so jaba bhI kahIM koI prazna uThAtA hai, to ApoApa hI uttara antarikSa meM se sunAI par3a jAtA hai / maiM bhI use suna kara adhika sambuddha hotA hU~ : samAdhAna pAtA hU~ / hara prazna ke samakSa maiM to cupa hI rahatA hai : para zrotA ko acUka uttara sunAI par3atA hai / saba jagaha jAnA hai / sabake pAsa jAnA hai / so kahIM yA kisI ke pAsa jAne kA cunAva kyoM kara sambhava hai / jahA~ bhI rikta hai, kaSTa hai, vahIM kI pukAra mere pairoM ko khIMca le jAtI hai / apane se to kahIM jAtA nahIM : mAnoM le jAyA jAtA hU~ / jahA~ se bhI AvAhana sunAI par3e, prastuta ho jAtA huuN| dekha rahA hU~, ki phira morAka sanniveza meM A nikalA hU~ / eka vaTavRkSa tale ke cabUtare para siddhAsana se baiThA hU~ / usakI zAkhAoM meM se phira jar3eM phUTa AI haiM / dharatI kI ora bar3hatI huI, ve phira usI meM samA jAnA cAhatI haiM / yaha vRkSa jahA~ se AyA hai. vahIM lauTa jAnA cAhatA " hai / yaha to koI AtmajJAnI lagatA hai / para isake bhAva para kisI kI nigAha nahIM / saba kI nigAheM apane bhayoM aura icchAoM para lagI haiN| cabUtare para. tane ke sahAre kaI pUjita patthara par3e haiM / hAya re bhavAraNya meM bhaTakate manuSya kA ajJAna ! jitane patthara haiM, utane hI deva, usane banA liye haiM / vaha inameM apane duHkhoM se trANa khojatA hai| hara vRkSa tale eka ruNDa-muNDa patthara deva banA baiThA hai / hara bastI kI sImA para, koI sAdhu Azrama banA kara, guru ke Asana para birAjamAna ho gayA hai / hara vRkSa kA pattA zAstra ho gayA hai / ajJAnI jana, apane saMsArI paritApoM se ubarane ke liye inake caraNoM meM zaraNAgata hote haiM / jo svayam hI bhavatApoM se trasta haiM, ve auroM ke tAranahAra bana kara baiThe haiM / mUr3ha janatA ko pravaMcita kara, ve apanI ziSnodara kI bhUkha pyAsoM ko tRpta kara rahe haiN|

Page #52
bhavya AryAvarta kA jJAnasUrya isa samaya astaprAya hai / isa ajJAnAndhakAra meM paramparAgata dharma-jyoti ke siMhAsana para chadma deva, guru aura zAstra ne adhikAra jamA liyA hai / sattA aura sampadA ke svAmiyoM ne apane vaibhava se ina tejohIna mithyA guruoM ko kharIda liyA hai / zAzvata dharma kI jyoti muTThI bhara ucca vargoM ke Theke kI vastu ho gaI hai / rAjA, purohita aura vANika mila kara dharma kI oTa apane svArtha poSaNa aura zoSaNa kA vyApAra anargala bhAva se calA rahe haiM / vyabhicArI aura anAcArI sAdhu ke veza meM guru Asana para baiTha kara tyAga aura tapa kA upadeza prajA ko pilA rahe haiM / ve sampattizAliyoM ke krIta dAsa haiM, aura g2arIba prajA kI una taka pahu~ca nahIM / ve g2arIba ko sadA g2arIba aura ajJAnI hI rakhanA cAhate haiM / puNya-pApa ke managaDhanta mithyA zAstra racakara, ve apane zrImanta yajamAnoM ke puNya kA rAta - dina jayagAna kara rahe haiN| zramika, zUdra aura caNDAla ke liye vedavANI sunane kA niSedha kara diyA gayA hai / so bahu saMkhyaka nimna vargIya prajA apar3ha aura ajJAnI hai / vaha mUr3hatA aura andha vizvAsoM ke andhakAra meM bhaTaka rahI hai / apane hI bhayoM aura ajJAnoM ko vaha devatA banA kara pUja rahI hai / viSama vAsanAoM se pIr3ita bhUta-pretoM, vyantaroM aura yakSoM ko, vaha ujAr3oM, vana-khaNDoM, khaNDaharoM, vRkSoM aura jalAzayoM meM pUjatI phira rahI hai / are kauna samajhegA ina ajJAnI bhavajanoM kI vedanA ? kauna ina a~dhere meM bhaTakate saMtrasta saMsAriyoM ko ajJAna aura andha vizvAsoM ke timirapAza se mukta karegA ? kauna isa tamasA meM jJAna kA dIpaka jalAyegA ? 42 * . dekhA ki eka gvAlA apanI gAyoM ko jaMgala meM caratI chor3a, merI ora calA A rahA hai / 'namostu, bhante zramaNa 'dharmalAbha karo, gopAla / ' !' ' tana-mana kI, jana - vana kI saba kathA jAnate ho, svAmI / kucha mere jI kI batAo / ' 'tene sovIra aura kaMgakUra kA bhojana kiyA hai, AyuSyamAna / terA godhana koI curA le gayA hai / abhI rAste meM sA~pa para terA paira par3a gayA thA / aura pichalI rAta sapane meM tU bahuta royA, vatsa... Jain Educationa International 'antarjJAnI ho, nAtha / ApakA darzana pA kara, dIna jana dhanya ho gayA / mere saba kaSTa haro, svAmI, mere dukha dUra karo / ' 'apane ko jAna, vatsa / tere saba duHkha Apa hI dUra ho jAyeMge / ' For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #53
43 'kaise apane ko jAneM, bhanne / maiM to ajJAnI hU~ / ' 'kevala apanI ora dekha, vatsa / kevala apane meM raha / terI zaraNa tU svayam hI hai / anya koI terI zaraNa nahIM, tega svAmI nahIM / tUhI apanA svAmI hai / ' 'svAmI . . . !' 'appa dIpo bhv| apanA dIpaka Apa hI ho jA re * * * !' gvAlA bhAvita ho kara gA~va kI ora daur3A gayA / vaha grAmajanoM ko ekatrita kara harSAvaga meM apanI Apa bItI munAne lagA / bolA ki-'aho, suno re saba zubha vArtA ! hamAre gA~va ke bhAga khula gaye / hamArI sImA para eka trikAlavettA devArya Aye haiM / tana-mana kI saba jAnate haiM / vipala mAtra meM jI kA sArA duHkha-kleza hara lete haiM / ' . grAmajana suna kara gadgad ho gaye / pUjA-sAmagriyoM ke thAla sajAye mere pAsa daur3e Aye / mere sAmane akSata-phUloM ke Dhera laga gaye / 'bhante zramaNa, hamAre grAma meM bhI Apake samAna hI eka siddha-puruSa rahatA hai / vaha agama-nigama ke bheda jAnatA hai / jo, huA aura jo hone vAlA hai, saba batA detA hai / tantara, mantara, jantara saba vidyAoM kA vaha pAragAmI 'acchaMdaka * * * !' 'vahI svAmI, vahI / Apa to lokAloka kI saba jAnate haiM ! . . . acchaMdaka hI hamAre gA~va kA guru hai / hama use acchA-bAbA kahate haiM / '! 'vaha tumhArA acchA-bAbA, saccA-bAbA bhI hai kyA ?' 'saba saca-saca batA detA hai, bhante / aura sAre duHkha dUra karane ke upAya bhI batA detA hai / ' 'tumhAre duHkha dUra ho gaye, AyuSyamAn ?' gAMva kA mukhiyA bolA : 'aba bhante, vaha to aisA hai ki, jaisA jajamAna, jaisA usakA dAna, vaisA usakA vrANa * * / ' 'pASaNDa * * pASaNDa * pASaNDa / ajJAna * * 'ajJAna * * 'ajJAna * * / kevala tuma svayam hI kara sakate ho apanA trANa / aura saba pravaMcanA aura kujJAna / pAo apane Apa kA jJAna / Apako dhyAo, Apako pUjo, Apako prema karo / Apa hI bano apane bhagavAna / Apo Apa pA jAoge saba duHkhoM se nirvANa / '

Page #54
Azcarya-cakita logoM kI bher3iyA-dhaMsAna gA~va meM lauTa kara acchaMdaka ke pAsa pahuMcI / bole ki : 'gurujI, gA~va bAhara jo devArya Akara Thahare haiM, ve trikAla jJAnI haiN| tuma to kucha jAnate nahIM, pAkhaMDa karake hameM Thagate rahate ho|' acchaMdaka bhayabhIta ho uThA : bolA : 'usa nagna zramaNa ko trikAla jJAnI kahate ho! calo tumheM dikhAU~, ki pAkhaMDI vaha hai yA maiM huuN|' krodha se unmatta acchaMdaka ne zramaNa ko parAjita karane kI yukti mana hI mana soca lI / kautukI grAmajanoM se ghirA vaha mere sammukha AyA aura donoM hAthoM kI u~galiyoM ke bIca eka ghAsa kA tinakA lekara bolA : 'batAo to trikAlajJAnI zramaNa, yaha tinakA maiM tor3a sakaMgA yA nahIM ?' usake mana meM yaha thA ki zramaNa jo kahegA, usakA ThIka ulaTA maiM karU~gA, so isakI vANI jhUTha siddha ho jaayegii| acchaMdaka ko uttara milA : 'yaha tinakA nahIM TUTegA!' acchaMdaka ne khela-khela meM tinakA tor3a dene kI ceSTA kI / * para mAnoM kisI ajJAta vajra se usakI u~galiyA~ staMbhita, Ahata ho rahIM / tinakA bina TUTe hI akhaNDa dharatI para gira par3A / grAmajana ullasita hokara devArya kA jayakAra karane lge| isI bIca niSprabha, hatAhata hokara acchaMdaka jAne kaba vahA~ se bhAga khar3A huA / sahasA hI sunAI par3A : 'yahA~ jo vIraghoSa nAmA sevaka hai, vaha sAmane Aye / ' 'maiM vIraghoSa, bhante / ' aura vaha praNata huaa| 'kabhI tere ghara meM se dasa pala parimANa kA eka pAtra kho gayA thA ?' 'satya hai, bhagavan !' 'acchaMdaka guru vaha curA le gaye the| tere ghara ke pIche, pUrva dizA meM jo saragavA kA vRkSa hai, usake tale eka hAtha dharatI khoda kara vaha gAr3a diyA gayA thA / jAkara le aa|' daur3A haA jAkara vIraghoSa nidiSTa sthAna se pAtra nikAla laayaa| sabake sAmane prastuta kiyA / grAmajana stabdha / phira munAI par3A : 'yahA~ koI indrazarmA nAmaka gRhastha hai ?' 'maiM indrazarmA, prabhu ! kyA AjJA hai ?' 'bhadra, kabhI terA eka meMDhA kho gayA thA?' 'so to kho gayA thA, bhante!' 'acchaMdaka guru meMDhe ko mAra kara usakA AhAra kara gaye the / usakI asthiyA~ bera vRkSa kI dakSiNa dizA meM gar3I haiN|' kucha logoM ne vahA~ jAkara dharatI khodI, to sUcita asthiyA~ sAbita miliiN| prANa pAkara grAmajanoM ke harSa aura vismaya kA pAra nhiiN|

Page #55
'grAmajanoM, bahuta huA / apane guru kA antima duzcarita jAnakara kyA karoge * * * !' ____'satya sampUrNa kaheM, prabhu / tAki hamArI mithyA dRSTi aura andha zraddhA ke a~dhere sadA ko phaTa jAyeM / 'to acchaMdaka ke ghara jAkara, usakI strI se puucho|' kucha loga daur3akara acchA-bAbA ke ghara unakI strI ke pAsa jA pahu~ce / apane pati ke pAkhaMDoM aura durAcAroM se pahale hI vaha bahuta jalI-bhunI baiThI thii| sArI kathA sunA kara anta meM usane apane mana kI vyathA prakaTa kara dI : 'yaha tumhArA gama aura merA kahA jAtA pati, apanI bahana ke sAtha hara rAta viSaya-sukha bhogatA hai| merI icchA to yaha kabhI karatA nhiiN|' grAmaloka ne jaba yaha satya kathA sunI, to unake pravaMcita hRdaya bahuta vyathita ho utthe| kintu phira eka apUrva mukti ke bodha se AlhAdita ho ve saba Akara zramaNa ke caraNoM meM loTa gaye / kRtajJatA se nIrava ho kara bar3I dera A~sU bahAte rhe| acchaMdaka pravaMcaka aura pApAtmA ke nAma ke nAma se sarvatra khyAta ho gayA / kahIM se bhikSAnna pAnA bhI use muhAla ho gayA / jaMgala ke ekAnta meM par3A-par3A vaha ro-ro kara apane pApoM kA pazcAtApa karane lagA / zramaNa karuNArdra ho Aye / loka dvArA parityakta. niSkAsita usa ekAkI dIna-akiMcana ho gaye brAhmaNa ko sunAI par3A : 'tumheM kSamA kiyA gayA, acchandaka / jaba koI tumhArA nahIM rahA, to maiM tumhArA hU~, vatsa / Ao mere pAsa / mujhe tumhArI pratIkSA hai|' ___.. dUra se hI rAjasaMnyAsI varddhamAna kI kAyotsarga meM lIna, nirdoSa bAlya mukha-mudrA para usane eka ati mRdu pyAra kI muskAna dekhii| vaha sammohita sA khiMca AyA aura devArya ke caraNoM meM samarpita ho rhaa| 'pApI zaraNAgata hai, svAmI / yaha yAtanA asahya hai / dayA kara mujhe mRtyu deM aura mukta kreN|' 'mRtyu hai hI nahIM, to kahA~ se duuN| aura mukti tumhArA svabhAva hai / use kevala jAno, vatsa ! AtmA ho tuma, acchaMdaka / tuma zAzvata asti ho / pApa nAsti hai : usakA astitva nahIM / vaha kevala ajJAnajanya abhAva kA andhakAra hai| dekha rahA hU~, tumhAre bhItara satata pratikramaNa cala rahA hai / tuma apane meM lauTa rahe ho / mRtyu meM mukti kahA~ ? vaha ananta andhakAra meM bhaTakanA hai / para tuma to prakAza ke taTa para A lage ho / idhara sAmane dekho / taTa tumhArI pratIkSA meM hai / . .'

Page #56
'pA gayA * * *pA gayA* * taTa pA gayA, prabhu !' 'evamastu ..!' dakSiNa vAcAlA sanniveza se vihAra karatA huA, uttara vAcAlA kI ora agrasara hU~ / yAtrApatha meM dekhA : eka ora svarNabAlukA nadI baha rahI hai : to dUsarI ora rajatabAlukA nadI / lagA ki jaise merI hI donoM bAhue~ bahatI huI digantoM taka calI gaI haiM / haThAt pIche kisI kA vyAkula pagarava sunAI pdd'aa| maiM thama gyaa| 'svAmI, maiM ApakA pitR mitra vahI somazarmA brAhmaNa / ' 'bhagavan, ApakI kRpA se prApta vaha devadUSya vastra le jA kara maiMne eka tantuvAya ko dikhAyA thaa| vaha bolA ki yaha mahAmUlya vastra khaMDita hai : zramaNa se yAcanA kara isakA uttarArddha bhI prApta kara lA / taba ina donoM khaNDoM ko jor3a kara akhaNDa kara dUMgA / use becakara hama donoM vipula sampadA ke bhAgI hoNge| * * 'kRpA kareM bhagavanta, khaNDa ko akhaNDa kareM / ' 'yahA~ ke azana-vasana mAtra saba khaMDita haiM, brAhmaNa ! akhaNDa bhoga pAnA hai, to svayam akhaMDa ho jaa|' 'bhagavan, kintu loka meM sabhI thor3e bahuta sampanna haiM / phira maiM durbhAgI hI nipaTa vipanna kyoM raha gayA?' ___ 'yahA~ sabhI vipanna haiM, koI sampanna nahIM / sabhI khaMDita haiM, koI akhaNDa nhiiN| sabhI bhikhArI haiM, koI svAmI nahIM ! . . .' 'para mujha sA dIna vipanna to yahA~ koI nhiiN|' 'carama vipanna huA hai, tU ! parama kRpA tujhe pUrNa sampanna kiyA cAhatI hai|' 'mujha dIna-hIna ko, jise eka pUrA bhojana yA vasana bhI nasIba nahIM ?' 'maiM to nirvasana hU~, brAhmaNa ! aura mere bhojana kA ThikAnA nahIM !' 'bhagavan, kRpA kareM!' 'nirvasana ho jA, brAhmaNa, triloka ke vaibhava terA bhojana-vasana hone ko tarasa jAyeMge !' 'nAtha * * *!' * * *aura sASTAMga praNipAta meM samarpita brAhmaNa para divya vastroM kI varSA hone lgii| 'bacAo prabhu, yaha bhAra nahIM sahA jAtA / ye sAre vastra bhI mujhe DhA~ka nahIM pA rahe / merI nagnatA kA anta nhiiN|'

Page #57
47 'evamastu / vahI tU hai, brAhmaNa !' 'yaha maiM kauna ho gayA, bhante ?' 'madrUpa ho gayA, tadrUpa ho gayA !' 'devArya kA anusaraNa karatA hU~, bhante / ' 'anusaraNa apanA kara, merA nahIM / ' 'bhagavan . . . !' 'kisI kA anugamana na kara / apanI hI ora pratigamana kr|' 'kahA~ jAU~, svAmI ?' 'jahA~ terI AtmA tujhe le jAye / jahA~ tere paira tujhe le jAyeM / saba mArga vahIM jAte haiM !' 'kahA~ pahu~canA hogA, svAmin ?' 'gantavya para pahu~ca kara, svayam hI jAna legaa|' * * dUra-dUra jA rahA nagna brAhmaNa bindu-zeSa ho, ojhala ho gayA / kisane kise pratibodha diyA, patA nahIM / maiM to bolatA nahIM, upadeza karatA nahIM / svayam hI chadmastha hU~, apUrNa huuN| para jo abhI sunA hai, usase apane Apa meM adhika prabuddha huA hU~, adhika Alokita huA huuN| o akiMcana brAhmaNa, terA kRtajJa hU~ !

Page #58
bujjhaha, bujjhaha, caNDakauzika pavana kI taraha askhalita gati se zvetAmbI nagarI kI ora bar3hA calA jA rahA hU~ / isa tez2a raphtAra meM bhI pAtA hU~ ki vizuddha gati mAtra hU~, aura pUrNa saMcetana hU~ / mere gamana se kisI bhI nikAya ke jIvoM kI raMca bhI hAni nahIM hotI / anubhava hotA hai ki unake sAtha AzleSita hotA cala rahA hU~ / ve svayam mere liye mArga bana jAte haiM : aura maiM apane bhItara anavaruddha mArga kI taraha khulA rahatA hU~ / eka tirAhe para pahu~ca kara maiM aTaka gayA / sAmane do rAste phaTate the, aura donoM hI zvetAmbI ko jAte the / jo rAstA sarala aura choTA dIkhA, usI para maiM cala par3A / ThIka tabhI eka ora se bher3a-bakariyAM carAte A rahe kucha gar3ariyoM ne Akara mujhe ghera liyA / __ 'nahIM devArya, isa rAste nahIM, usa rAste jAyeM / yaha rAstA dIkhane meM sarala aura sugama hai, para utanA hI kuTila aura karAla hai / vaha dUsarA rAstA lambA hai, para nirApada hai|' vikalpa karanA aura aTakanA merA svabhAva nahIM / so maiM unakI anasunI kara, calatA hI rahA / taba ve bahuta AtaMkita hokara mere mArga meM leTa gaye / kAtara vikala ho kara anunaya karane lage : 'nahIM bhagavana, isa mArga para hama Apako nahIM jAne deMge / isakI rAha meM tApasoM kA kanaka-khala nAmaka eka ujAr3a Azrama par3atA hai / vahA~ eka dRSTiviSa sarpa kA vAsa hai / usake dRSTipAta mAtra se sthAvara-jaMgama, choTebar3e sAre prANiyoM kA kSaNa mAtra meM dehapAta ho jAtA hai / bar3e-bar3e zaramA isa rAha gaye, aura phira kabhI nahIM lautte| varSoM ho gaye, manuSya ke liye agamya aura vajita ho gayA hai yaha pradeza / isake mArga meM prANI to dUra, vAyu taka saMcAra karane se bhayabhIta hotA hai|' taba to avazya isI rAha jAnA hogaa| avyAbAdha hone nikalA hU~, to rAha kI hara bAdhA ko tor3a kara Age bar3hanA hogA / agama-nigama ke bheda jAnane calA hU~, to mere liye

Page #59
agamya kyA ho sakatA hai ? bacapana se hI varddhamAna ke liye vajita to kucha nahIM rahA / vivarjita jise honA hai, use hara varjanA kA atikramaNa karanA hogA / deza aura kAla para ArohaNa karane calA hU~, to kSetra vizeSa kI maryAdA meM kaise vicara sakatA hU~ ? aura phira kanaka-khala ke Azrama meM, jo prANI apanI hI bhayaMkaratA se itanA parityakta aura akelA ho gayA hai, usakI pIr3A ko jAne binA, mere liye nistAra nahIM / anyatra gati nahIM / jisake pAsa koI nahIM jAnA cAhatA, usake pAsa mere sivAya kauna jAyegA / AtA hU~ tere pAsa, Atman / tere hI liye to isa rAha aan| huA hai| aura maiM nizcayapUrvaka kanaka-khala kI ora u~galI uThA kara, usI rAha cala par3A / sarala yadi kuTila huA hai, to kyoM ? dekhanA cAhatA hU~, maiM kitanA sarala hU~ ! maiM usa niSiddha araNya meM praveza kara cukA thA, aura gvAle merA pIchA karane kA sAhasa na kara sake / ve hAya-hAya karate raha gye| ___OM namo arihantANaM. . . !' : merI sAMsa apanI nahIM raha gaI hai / jhA~yajhAMya karatI isa vikarAla aTavI meM kevala yahI maMtra-dhvani sunAI par3a rahI hai / karpUra, tamAla aura tiniza vRkSoM kI suramya vIthI se pAra ho rahA hU~ / saghana sugandhi se vyApta hai yaha durbhedyatA / mere pada saMcAra se isake barasoM ke ulajhe zAkhA-jAla mAnoM haTa kara rAha banA dete haiM / atimuktaka, vAsaMtika aura kadalI ke kuMjoM meM se kramazaH guz2ara rahA hU~ / inake chora ke vAsara kakSa meM kauna vadhU merI pratIkSA meM hai ? __.. haThAt pAyA ki eka bhayaMkara vIrAna meM A nikalA hU~ / hariyAlI jAne kaba pIche chuTa gaI / dUra-dUra taka phaile vRkSoM ke kaMkAla aMtahIna ho gaye haiM / hAr3a-piMjaroM kA eka biyAbAna / bhaya se nipIr3ita, dabatI usA~seM aura ghAyala sisakiyAM sunAI par3a rahI haiM / nirjanatA deha dhAraNa kara, jaise cetanA ko AkrAMta kara rahI hai / havA taka yahAM se bhayabhIta ho kara bhAgI huI hai / zvAsa-prazvAsa avaruddha hone lage haiM / deha meM roMgaToM kI kaTIlI jhAr3iyAM uga AI haiM / laga rahA hai, bhayArta hokara mere zarIra taka ne merA sAtha chor3a diyA hai| nitAnta gati raha gayA hU~ / eka nipaTa nirIha cetanA mAtra raha gayA huuN| anAtha, anAlamba, ekAkI cala rahA hU~ / svabhAva se hI nirAkula huuN| para isa samaya eka antima AkulatA se vigalita hU~ / kisI ke prati apanA sarvasva de kara zUnya ho jAnA cAhatA hU~ / 'o koI ajJAta Atman, tumhArA AdikAla kA eka mitra tumhArI khoja meM isa mRtyu ke mahAraNya

Page #60
meM A nikalA hai / miloge nahIM ? tumheM pyAra karane ko merA jI bahuta vikala hai / jAnatA hU~, tumheM koI pyAra nahIM karatA / yaha mujhe asahya hai| isI se jAne kitanI bhavATaviyA~ pAra kara tumhAre dvAra para calA AyA huuN| kyA mujhe nahIM pahacAnate. * * ? sAmane Ao, to phcaanoge| acAnaka vakSa-kaMkAloM kA AcchAdana haTa gayA / eka parityakta Azrama dikhAI par3A / usake khaNDaharoM meM bhI kisI gopana ramaNIyatA kA AbhAsa hai / bhagna, janahIna dAlAnoM, dvAroM, khir3akiyoM meM jAne kaisI eka jar3IbhUta upasthiti kA bodha vyApta hai / isa parityaktatA meM bhI eka purAtana prIti kA saMsparza hai| bIca ke A~gana meM zUnya vedI para havana-kuNDa kI agni bujhe muddateM ho giiN| para dekha rahA hU~, eka nIlI-harI sindUrI jvAlA usameM se anAhata uTha rahI hai / eka havana-zikhA, jo zatAbdiyoM se merI pratIkSA meM hai| vaha eka sarvAMga sulakSaNa puruSottama kI Ahuti cAhatI hai / kyA merI Ahuti isa anAdyanta yajJazikhA ko tRpta kara sakegI ? prastuta hai vrddhmaan| .. dekha rahA hU~, vRkSoM meM, Azrama kI dIvAroM meM, yahA~ ke konoM-a~taroM meM, jhAr3iyoM meM vilupta prANiyoM meM, jagaha-jagaha par3e jIva-jantu, pazu-pakSiyoM ke mRta dehoM meM, yahA~ ke AkAza-vAtAsa taka meM eka dAha kA vAsa nirantara vyApta hai / sabhI kucha kisI nirantara jalana se bhasmIbhUta aura kalauMchA dIkha rahA hai / eka cira atRpti kI vahrimAna jihvA cAroM ora lapalapAtI huI tRSNAta bhaTaka rahI hai| Azrama ke ujar3e yakSa-maNDapa meM Akara, pralambAyamAna bhujAoM ke sAtha, khar3agAsana se kAyotsarga meM lIna ho gayA / ahaMzUnya apane Apako nivedita paayaa| * prastuta hU~, jo cAhe mujhe le| - 'aho, Atman, pahacAna rahA hU~ mitra, tumheM ! tumhArI yAda A rahI hai| : 'tumhIM to aba se pahale ke tIsare janma meM gobhadra brAhmaNa the / svabhAva se akiMcana, sarala, nirIha / sarva vidyAoM ke pAragAmI / para nirdhana / tumhArI sundarI brAhmaNI garbhavatI huii| prasavakAla samIpa pA kara usane binatI kI, ki kahIM jA kara tuma Avazyaka dhanArjana kara laao|' tuma nikala par3e dhanArjana ke lie, vArANasI kI rAha para / mArga meM eka bhavya kAntimAna vidyA-siddha puruSa tumhArA sahayAtrI huA / vidyAbala aura kAtyAyanI ke kavaca se maMDita vaha puruSa, maMtroccAra mAtra se ThIka samaya para divya bhojanoM ke thAla prastuta kara detA / rAtri zayana ke liye, vaha sundarI yoginiyoM ke sAtha, camatkArika vaibhava-zRMgAra se bharA vimAna upasthita kara detA / parama lAvaNyavatI candraprabhA nAmA yoginI ke sAtha vaha zaiyAramaNa karate hue rAtri vyatIta karatA / candraprabhA kI bahana candralekhA tumhAre

Page #61
zaiyA-sAhacarya ko eka rAta tumhAre nikaTa samarpita huii| . 'tumhAre ajeya brahmacarya ko dekha, vaha staMbhita raha gaI / vaha tumhAre pUrNakAma prema kI dAsI ho gaI / apane kAmarUpa deza ke jAlaMdhara nagara meM tumheM ur3A le gaI / vahA~ aneka vidyAoM kI svAminI jAne kitanI sundarI yoginiyA~ tumheM samarpita huI / apanI vipula sampadA unhoMne tumhAre caraNoM meM DAla dii| apane brahmacarya ke kSuradhAra teja se tumane una saba ke hRdaya jIta liye| .. nidAna, aDhalaka ratna-sampadA lekara eka sA~jha tuma apane nagara lauTa Aye / para apane ghara ko dhvasta khaMDahara pA kara tumheM kATa mAra gayA / deharI para tumhArI brAhmaNI kI pratIkSArata A~kheM kahIM na dIkhIM / patA calA ki viraha-pIr3A aura dhanAbhAva se brAhmaNI jAne kaba paraloka sidhAra gaI / usa asahya AghAta se tumhAre antarakapATa khula gaye / tumhArA janmajAta virAgI citta pUrNa virAgI ho gyaa| vikSipta kI taraha tuma vana-kAntAroM meM bhaTakane lage / acAnaka vahA~ pA~ca sau manisaMgha sahita vicarate dharmaghoSa nAmA mahAzramaNa se tumhArI bheMTa huii| unase pratibodha pA kara tuma pravajita hue / askhalita zramaNa-caryA meM rahate hue tuma apUrva teja aura mahimA meM pratiSTita hue / para hAyare mAnava hRdaya, tumhArA utthAna hI tumhArA patana ho gayA / bar3I durUha, nigUr3ha aura acintya hotI hai, AtmotthAna kI yAtrA / bahuta Rju-kuMcita aura cakrAvartI hai usakA vikAsa-patha / utkarSa kI cUr3A para pahu~ca kara bhI koI AtmA kaba apakarSa ke pAtAla meM A giregI, so kevalI ke sivAya kauna jAna sakatA hai| nau graiveyaka aura sarvArthasiddhi jaisI Atmonnati kI Urdhva zreNiyoM para ArUDha ho kara bhI kabhI-kabhI AtmAe~, nArakI aura tiryaMca yoniyoM taka meM A par3atI haiN| ___ so tumhAre tapateja kI mahimA ne anajAne hI tumhAre bhItara jAne kava ahaMkAra jagA diyA / tuma pramatta vicarane lage / eka dina tumhAre eka kSullaka ziSya ne iMgita kiyA ki tumhAre pairoM tale kitane hI meMDhakoM ke bacce kucala kara mara gaye haiN| doSAropa suna kara tuma krodha se unmatta ho uThe / tuma daur3a kara apane ziSya para prahAra karane gaye * * / bIca meM khar3I eka caTTAna se TakarA kara tumhAre mastaka kA marmapradeza phaTa gayA / ati Artaraudra dhyAna se mara kara, o patha bhraSTa yogI gobhadra, tuma jyotiSI devoM meM utpanna hae / vahA~ deva nikAya kI RddhiyoM ko bhogate hue kAla pA kara, tuma isa kanaka-khala Azrama ke vAsI, pA~ca sau tApasoM ke kulapati kI bhAryA ke garbha se janma lekara, usake kauzika nAmA putra hue / tumhAre pitA lokavikhyAta RSi the| unake jJAna, tapa aura teja kI kalyANa-chAyA meM A kara bhavAraNya meM bhaTakI aneka AtmAeM zAMti-lAbha karatI thiiN| Aye dina yahA~ aneka dUra dezAntaroM ke zramaNa, tApama aura AtmakAmI jana atithi hote the| yajJa kI maMtra-dhvaniyoM aura mugandhoM se isa vanapradeza ke vRkSa, latA-gulma, pazu-pakSI sadA praphullita rahate the|

Page #62
52 kAla pA kara tumhAre pitA lokAntara kara gaye / tuma isa Azrama ke kulapati hue / ' tumhArI AtmA sadA gahare aura graMthila ahaMghAta se pIr3ita rahatI / tumhArA Ahata ahaM bAhara akAraNa krodha ke jvAlAmukhI-sA phuMphakAratA rahatA / loga tumhArI chAyA taka se Darate the / manuSya se lagA kara, pazu-pakSI aura vanaspatiyA~ taka tumhAre padAghAta se AtaMkita ho uThatIM / isI se loka meM tuma caMDakauzika ke nAma se kukhyAta ho gaye / tumhArI cira Ahata cetanA ne jIne ke lie Azrama ke udyAna meM sahArA khojA / eka andha mUrcchA se rAta-dina tumhArA citta apanI vATikA meM Asakta rahane lagA / dAruNa adhikAra - vAsanA se pramatta ho kara tuma isa vanakhaNDa ke eka-eka patte taka kI rakhavAlI karate rahate the / isa upavana ke phUla, phala, mUla, pallaba kI ora koI A~kha uThA kara bhI dekha nahIM sakatA thA / kabhI koI ajAna vyakti bhUle-cUke bhI yahA~ kA nIce par3A sar3A phala yA pattA bhI uThA letA, to tuma lAThI aura kulhAr3I le kara usake pIche daur3a par3ate / tuma itane zaMkAlu ho gaye ki nirdoSa AgaMtukoM ko bhI apane udyAna kA cora samajha kara, unheM Dhele aura patthara uThA kara mArate / Akhira eka dina aisA AyA ki AzramavAsI sAre tApasa eka-eka kara vahA~ se cale gaye / tuma nitAnta ekAkI ho gaye / tumhAre akelepana meM, tumhArA AtmasaMtApa aura bhI tIvratA se tumheM dahane lagA / tumhAre krodha kA AkheTa banane vAlA bhI koI na baca / nirAlamba aura anuttarita tumhArI usa kaSAya kI vedanA ko maiM isa kSaNa bhI anubhava kara sakatA hU~ / hAya, tumhArA krodha taka anAtha ho gayA ! sarva ke saMhAraka : para kitane becAre aura dayanIya tuma ! svayama apane Upara dayA karane jitanI ArdratA se bhI vaMcita / apane hI amitra / apane Apako pyAra karane se bhI majabUra / isa bIca jAne kaisI viSama duzcintA se pIr3ita tuma, Azrama chor3a kara isa vanakhaNDa ke dUragAmI jhAr3I-jhaMkhAr3oM meM bhaTakane lage / so kaI dinoM se upavana ko arakSita jAna kara zvetAmbI ke kucha rAjaputra yahA~ Aye / bandaroM kI taraha uchalakUda karate ve sAre upavana meM chA gaye / cuna-cuna kara ve sAre phala khA gaye / vRkSoM ko kulhAr3iyoM se kATa-kATa kara unhoMne TUTI DAloM, pattoM, phUla-phaloM se sArI bhUmi ko chA diyA / acAnaka kucha gvAloM ne tumheM khabara dI ki, pUrve ekadA tumhAre dvArA apamAnita zvetAmbI ke rAjaputra, tumhAre udyAna kA dhvaMsa kara rahe haiM, aura apane apamAna kA badalA bhunA rahe haiM / bhISaNa krodha se hu~kArate hue tuma Aye aura eka kharadhAra kulhAr3I lekara unheM mArane daur3e / bandaroM kI taraha kUdate-phA~date ve sAre kizora palaka mArate meM vahA~ se palAyana kara gaye / tumheM apane prahAra ke lakSya taka kA bhAna nahIM

Page #63
rahA / tuma mUcchauMdha hokara pAgala kI taraha pralApa karate nirlakSya, dizAhArA daur3ate hI cale gye| phira aTTahAsa kara tumane apanI kulhAr3I AsamAna ke zUnya ko phAra dene ke lie uchAla dI aura tabhI cakkara khA kara, tuma yama ke mukha jaise eka andha gahvara meM gira par3e / agale hI kSaNa tumhArI uchAlI kulhAr3I bhannAtI huI tumhAre hI Upara A kara pdd'ii| tumhArA mastaka phaTa kara do phA~ka ho gyaa| tumhArI usa maraNa vedanA kA sAkSI hU~ maiM, caNDakauzika * * * ! tumhArI moharAtri parAkASThA para pahu~cI / tIvrAnubaMdhI krodha ke pUMjIbhUta viSa ne zarIra dhAraNa kiyA / dRSTiviSa sarpa ke rUpa meM tuma phira isa pRthvI para avatarita hue| isI vanAMgana kI vanaspatiyoM meM tuma jnme| tumhArA prANa-pyArA udyAna bhI tumheM dhokhA de gayA thaa| usa para pUrNa adhikAra rakhane ke sAre prayatnoM ke bAvajUda vaha tumhArA na raha skaa| usa para tumhAre baira kA pAra na rhaa| usake vaMzaja samasta vanaspati-rAjya, pazu-rAjya aura antataH prANimAtra se usa baira kA pratizodha lene kI vAsanA se tuma pAgala ho gye| aura tumhArA vaha pujIbhUta baira antataH apane hI manaja bhAiyoM para kendrita huaa| zvetAmbI ke rAjaputroM kA vaMzaja manuSya ! so isa ujAr3a Azrama ke nairjanya ko tumane apanA AvAsa bnaayaa| bhUle-bhaTake jo paMthI idhara A nikalatA hai, tumhAre dRSTipAta mAtra se vaha lAza hokara dharAzAyI hotA hai| sar3atI huI lAzoM se cira durgandhita rahatA hai yaha vnkhnndd| jAne kitane hI pazu-pakSI, jIva-jantu tumhAre dRSTi nikSepa se yahA~ nirantara maraNa pAte rahate haiN| nivir3a viSa kA kRSNa-nIla koharA yahA~ chAyA huA hai| jhilliyoM kI jhaMkAra taka se vaMcita ho gayA hai. yaha vijana kAntAra / tumhAre ati priya sAre pair3a-paudhe tumhAre hI viSa kI phUtkAroM se jala-jala kara bhasma ho gaye haiN| vAyu taka kA saMcAra yahA~ mAno zakya nhiiN| havA, pAnI, vanaspati, mATI taka yahA~ kI trasta, dAhagrasta aura nirjIva ho gaI hai| prANahInatA ke isa vIrAne meM tuma kevala apanA AtmadAha le kara jI rahe ho, caNDakauzika ! tumhArI yaha ekalacArI vikalatA, tumhArA yaha Atma-saMtrAsa mujha se sahA nahIM jaataa| Ao mitra, maiM tumase milane AyA huuN| ho make to tumhAre isa viSa ko niHzeSa pI jAne AyA huuN| apane ko khAlI karo mujha meM / tumhAre kaSAya kA pAtra banane ko udyata hai vaddhamAna * * * ! ' aura niHzabda, vicAra-zUnya ho kara maiM carama kAyotsarga meM lavalIna ho gayA / merI cetanA ke antara-cakSu meM jhalakA : apane pUrva bhavAntaroM ke jAti-smaraNa se sarparAja caNDakauzika vedanA se vikSipta ho gayA hai| usakI pratizodha-jvAlA AkAza cUmane lagI hai| usakA janmAntaroM kA Ahata ahaMkAra sahasra-jihva hokara phUtkArane lagA hai|

Page #64
54 sahasA hI eka ghora AvAz2a kI bijalI kar3akI : 'are o nagna avadhUta, itanA duHsAhasa, ki mere rAjya meM niHzaMka praveza kara gayA tU ? aura zaMku ke samAna sthira ho kara nirbhaya khar3A hai, o DhITha / kisa mAnavI mA~ ne, merI sarvanAzI sattA ko lalakArane vAlA, yaha aparAdhI putra janA hai ? Aja maiM tere nRvaMza kA mUlotpATana karake hI caina lUMgA' '' aura dekhate hI dekhate, ghane viSaile nIla- harita kohare kI lahareM tez2I se sAra vAtAvaraNa meM chAne lagIM / patajhAroM meM hotI bhayaMkara sarasarAhaTa se sArA jaMgala jAga uThA / virala pakSI paMkha phar3aphar3A kara ur3a gye| ajJAnI, asaMjJI jIva-jantu jahA~ ke tahA~ bhasmIbhUta ho gaye / vRkSoM ke sUkhe sthANu bhI caramarA kara cItkAra karate hue dharAzAyI hone lage / * krodha se ubalate jvAlAmukhI-sA phaNamaNDala vistArita karatA, vaha bhujaMgama sarparAja merI ora bAr3ha kI taraha bar3hA A rahA thA / sammukha Akara vaha apane sahasroM phaNoM ko pUrNa unnata kara merI ora ekAgra dRSTi se dekhane lagA / mayUrapaMkhoM kI nIlI-hariyAlI AbhA se valayita usakI haz2AroM A~kheM eka sAtha jaise jvAlamAlAoM kA vamana karane lagIM / eka ghanaghora vahni maMDala kI lapaToM ne mujhe cAroM ora se chA liyA / para sarparAja ne dekhA ki una vikarAla agni- DAr3hoM ke bIca bhI, yaha kumAra yogI nispanda, aspRzya aura akSuNNa khar3A hai / usakI janmAntaroM kI saMcita krodhAgniyA~ bhI use jalAne meM asamartha, parAjita, staMbhita raha gaI haiM / taba apane samasta prANa ko pheMka kara, vaha bhujaMgarAja parvata zikhara para girane vAlI ulkA kI taraha mujha para TUTA / para usakI vaha prANorjA bhayabhIta, zaraNAgata paMkhI kI taraha mere pairoM ke pAsa A girii| aura bhI caMDatara krodha se phuMphakAra kara usane animeSa sUrya kI ora tAkA / sUryAtapa se usakA viSa kaI gunA adhika utkaTa ho kara mujha para aMgAre barasAne lagA / usa satyAnAza ke sammukha maiMne apane prANa ko nigraMtha chor3a diyA / merA kAyotsarga parAkoTi para pahu~ca gayA / niHzeSa AtmadAna ke sivAya aura koI saMcetanA mujha meM zeSa nahIM rhii| apane usa sarvanAzI pratApa tale bhI isa kumAra zramaNa ko phalabhAra- namra vRkSa kI taraha nivedina aura avicala dekha kara, sarparAja ne havA meM jora se phana phaTakArA, aura mere paira a~gUThe ko kasa kara Dasa liyaa| phira bhI mujhe aTala dekha kara, vaha unmatta ho kara Upara-UparI mere aMgAMgoM para daMza karatA calA gayA / antima daMza usane mere hRdayadeza para kiyA / aura vahA~ se phira vaha apanA sara na uThA sakA / humakahumaka kara vaha gahare se gahare mere hRdaya ko DasatA hI calA gayA / merI pIr3A se kasamasAtI dharmAnayoM meM mA~ kA vaha mamatAyita muchar3A jhA~ka utthaa| mere royeM- royeM me mA~ ke stana umar3ane lge| merI zirA-zirA meM dUdha ke samudra ghaharAne lage /

Page #65
_ 'piyo' . 'piyo, caMDakauzika ! kitanA pyAra umar3a rahA hai, tumhAre phaNoM ke isa parirambhaNa meM, tumhAre daMzoM ke ina aMtahIna cumbanoM meM / cukAo apanI cirakAla kI saMcita mahAvAsanA ko mere bhItara / lo, mujhe lo, mujhe lete hI cale jAo, caNDakauzika / tAki maiM samUcA tumhArA ho jaauuN| maiM tumhAre hI lie janmA huuN| yaha kAyA tumhArA antima AhAra hone ke lie hI janmI hai| kitane svAda aura pyAra se pI rahe ho tuma merA rakta / kaisI gaharI mukti ke mukha se tumane merI nasa-nasa kI gA~The khola dI haiM . . . / ' are basa, itane se hI tRpta ho gaye ? * * * nanhe vAlaka kI taraha nirIha , rudana-kAtara A~khoM se mujhe tAka rahe ho / kitane komala, kitane madhura, kitane nirdoSa lagate ho tuma, kauzika ! 'are merI jA~ghoM aura vakSa para diye tumhAre daMzoM ke cumbanoM se yaha kaisA ujalA dUdha jhara rahA hai ! pA gayA maiM tumhArA pyaar| tumane mere rakta ko dUdha meM pariNata kara diyA ? * . 'tumane mujhe kRtArtha kara diyaa| kitanA kRtajJa hU~ tumhArA !' _ 'caNDakauzika, mere vatsa, tuma kitane saumya, sayAne, zAnta ho gaye / kaisA mArdava uphana AyA hai, tumhAre ina morapaMkhI phanoM kI kAlI cintAmaNi A~khoM meM . / ___ 'idhara dekho merI ora * * * / kauzika, * * * bujjhaha * * bujjhaha ! 'jAne kitane janmoM se AtmaghAta karate cale A rahe ho / yAda karo apanI ahaM-baMdI yAtanAe~ * * nahIM, aba tumheM ve kabhI nahIM vyaapeNgii| aba apane ko yoM tila-tila mAroge nahIM, saumya, satAoge nahIM * * * / dekho, maiM hU~ na . phira aura kyA cAhiye tumheM / apane ko pyAra karo, kauzika * * * dekho merI ora * * / ' ___maiM nitAnta nIrava, nispanda dRSTi se yaha saba kevala dekha aura suna rahA thaa| kevala eka akala, kriyAtIta saakssii.| ___* haule haule logoM ko apane Apa hI eka abhaya bhAva kI pratIti ho gii| ve bekhaTaka, nirApada mujhe Tohate yakSa-maNDapa kI ora A nikale / sarparAja caNDakauzika ko unhoMne parama zAnta bhAva se zramaNa ke caraNoM meM vizrabdha dekhA / Ananda aura Azcarya se ve pulakita aura stabdha ho rahe / saba ke mana sarva ke prati karuNA aura pyAra se umar3a Aye / AsapAsa ke strI-puruSa, vRddhajana, bAlaka jhuMDa ke jhuMDa Ane lge| sahaja bhAva se ve sarvarAja kI vizAla aura nizcinta par3I kAyA ko hAtha phera kara pucakAra dete| una saba ke manoM meM usase gaharI zAnti aura prIti kA plAvana anubhava hotaa| grAmAMganAe~ aura kumAriyA~ nitya pUjA-thAla liye AtIM / ve zramaNa kI pUjA-vaMdanA karane ke uparAnta sarpa devatA kI bhI AratI utAratI /

Page #66
unake tana ko ghI-dUdha Adi se abhiSikta krtiiN| aura gItagAna karatI huI lauTa jaatiiN| ghI-dUdha ke nirantara abhiSeka se sarpa ke tana para cITiyoM ke jhuMDa chA gaye / ve bahuta nizcinta ho kara usakI tvacA meM caTake bharatI huI, usake rakta kA AhAra karane lgiiN| usakI vedanA kA pAra nahIM thA / para cITiyoM ke hara daMza ke sAtha use apane purAtana vairoM kA tIvra smaraNa hotA / so vaha cupacApa pazcAttApa karatA huA, cITiyoM ke daMzoM ko atyanta dhIra bhAva se sahane lgaa| use lagA ki vaha apane pUrva vaira-vidveSoM ke RNAnubandha cukA rahA hai| cukA denA hogA, janama-janama kA sArA dInA-pAvanA / usakI cetanA meM nirantara pratikramaNa cala rahA hai / vaha hara naye daMza ke sAtha, mAno adhikAdhikaM apane svarUpa meM avasthita hotA jA rahA hai| usake bhItara jAgate prazama bhAva kI zItalatA ko svayaM anubhava kara rahA huuN| samatva ke udaya se usakI AtmA meM amRta kA AplAvana ho rahA hai / . . 'kauzika * * Namo arihantANaM * * * ! appo bhava / - appo bhava kauzika !' eka gaharA nizcinta niHzvAsa / . . . usakI sA~sa chUTa kara kapUra kI taraha sArI vanabhUmi meM vyApa gaI / sAre per3a jaise candana ke ho gye|

Page #67
cakravartiyoM kA cakravartI bhUkha lagI hai / yAda nahIM, kitane dina bIta gaye, AhAra nahIM liyA hai| AvazyakatA hI anubhava mahIM hotI / Aja sahasA hI kSudhA kI pukAra anubhava kara rahA hU~ / svAgata hai / jAna par3atA hai, bhUkha kevala anna ke liye nahIM / bhUkha kevala tana kI pukAra nahIM, samUce jIvana kI ekAgra pukAra hai / samagra samanvita sRSTi kA anurodha usake pIche hotA hai / dharma jaba karma meM pravAhita hotA hai, to jIvana ke sabhI aMga apanI paripUrti cAhate haiM / deha kA bhI apanA eka dharma hai, vaha pUrA hogA hI / damana se nahIM, zamana se hI deha anusAriNI ho sakatI hai / dama nahIM, zama hI paripUrNa jIvana kI kuMjI hai / dabAyI huI deha, aura dabAyA huA mana, cAhe jaba droha kara uTha sakatA hai / taba vaha AtmA ko upazama zreNI se bhI naraka ke atala meM ghasITa le jA sakatA hai| zatru nahIM, mitra mana aura tana se hI sampUrNa jIvanmukti sambhava hai / virodha se nahIM, samvAda se hI sarva ko jItA jA sakatA hai| * zatru pud gala nahIM, usake prati hamArA ajJAna hai, jo Atmabodha ke abhAva meM hama para hAvI ho kara zuddha dravya meM bhI hameM zatrutva kA anubhava karAne lagatA hai / muktimArga vikAsamAna hai / vaha uttarottara sugama hotA jAyegA, aisI pratIti hotI hai / merA tItha apUrvaM hogA / usa yuga ke manuSya deha kA tiraskAra karake nahIM, usake svIkArapUrvaka mukti cAheMge / usa nUtana mukti kI patha-rekhA mere samakSa dina-dina pratyakSatara ho rahI hai / tana, prANa, indriya, mana, cetana kI samvAvaditA hI pUrNa jIvanmukti upalabdha karA sakatI hai, aisA bodha mujha meM spaSTatara hotA jA hai| bhUkha lagI hai Aja, to jaise koI nirdoSa gulAbI bAlaka mujhe bulAne AyA hai / kyA use nakArU~gA ? sAmane uttara vAcAlA nagarI dIkha rahI hai / vahA~ nAgasena gRhapati ko atithi ke lie dvArApekSaNa karate dekha rahA hU~ / usakA ikalautA beTA bAraha barasa pUrva dezAntara gayA thA, so phira lauTA hI nahIM / kala sA~jha ekAeka usakA vaha khoyA putra ghara lauTa AyA hai| isI se usake ghara Aja samasta grAma kA nyotA hai / parivAra ke harSa kA pAra nahIM / para nAgasena kA mana usa bhikSu atithi ke lie vyAkula hai, jisake pairoM meM deza-dezAntaroM kI mATI lagI

Page #68
58 hai / usakI icchA pUrI ho ! ... * * 'nAgasena ke dvAra para bhikSuka ne pANi-pAtra meM yatkiMcit AhAra grahaNa kara hAtha khIMca liye / divya vAjina dhvaniyoM ke sAtha gRhapati ke AMgana meM vasudhArAeM barasane lagIM / maMgala prAtihAryoM se sArA grAma jagamagA uThA / : 'bhikSuka jA cukA hai| jAne kitanI mA~-bahanoM kI A~sU bharI A~kheM, usakI dUra loTatI pITha kI AratI utAra rahI haiN| ___ zvetAmbI nagarI kI sImA se gujara rahA huuN| vahAM kA rAjA pradezI vipula vaibhava ke sAtha vandanA ko AyA hai| kSatriya ko sammukha pA kara, kSaNa bhara thama gayA / rAjA bolA : 'vaizAlI ke rAjavaMzI zramaNa hamArA Atithya svIkAreM / ' 'varddhamAna nivaMza ho gayA, rAjan / ' 'pratibodha cAhatA hU~, bhante / ' 'apane vaibhava ko sarvajana kA bhoga banA de, kSatriya ! yahI lokapAla viSNu ke yogya hai| ... tena tyaktena bhuMjIthaH / ' 'pratibuddha huA, devArya / ' maiM to cupa hI rahatA hU~ / koI uttara detA nhiiN| para dekhatA hU~, mauna svataH hI mukhara ho kara, antima zabda kaha detA hai / . . . * * "grAmAnugrAma vihAra karatA surabhipura ke samIpa AyA hU~ / haThAt apane ko gaMgA ke taTa para khar3A paayaa| mahAnadI gaMgA / devAtmA himAlaya kI duhitaa| isake taTavartI tapovanoM meM veda aura upaniSadoM kI maMtravANI uccarita huI / AryoM kA jJAnasUrya isakI laharoM para bAlaka kI taraha khelaa| isane apane RSi-putroM ko caitanya ke cUr3AntoM para ArohaNa karate dekhA / para isane apane vizvAmitroM aura kAzyapoM ko vahAM se utara kara kAminI ke urojoM para AtmArpaNa karate bhI dekhA / kAma aura AtmakAma kI saMdhi isake hillolita vakSojoM para hastAkSarita huii| pArvatI yoga ke siddhAcala se yogIzvara zaMkara ko phira eka bAra apanI goda meM lauTA laaii| Arya draSTAoM se adhika sattA kI anaikAntinI lIlA ke rahasya ko kisane thAhA hai ? * * *aura isI gaMgA ke garbha kA yonibheda kara AdinAtha vRSabhadeva isake utsa ko pAra kara gye| svayam himAcala ho kara ve kailAza kI cUr3A para avicala samAdhistha khar3e ho gye| aura unake caraNa-yugala se aparAjeya zramaNa-dharma kI jinezvarI dhArA pravAhita huI /

Page #69
usI mahAnadI gaMgA ke taTa para A khar3A huA hai| sahasrAbdiyoM ke itihAsoM ko isakI laharoM meM uThate-miTate dekha rahA hai| isakI uttAla taraMgoM meM himavAna ke zRMgoM kI U~cAiyAM gala-gala kara baha rahI haiN| ve isake garbha kI gaharAiyA~ hone ko vivaza ho gaI haiM / saMsAra aura nirvANa isakI kuMvArI or3hanI meM ekAkAra jhalakate dIkha rahe haiN| isake snigdha ujale bAlukA taTa meM mere paira Thahara nahIM pA rahe haiN| isake zItala sIkaroM se taTavartI tarumAlAe~ dhula-dhula kara kaisI snigdha aura prAMjala laga rahI haiM / isakI laharoM kI layAtmakatA, unakI pallava-poM meM citrita ho gaI hai| .. kSitija taka phailakara isakA vakSamaNDala isake parama priyatama samudra kA AbhAsa de rahA hai| AvAhana hai ki isa gaMgA ko pAra karU~ / cAhU~ to apanI bAhuoM se isakA saMtaraNa kara sakatA huuN| cAhU~ to isa para cala sakatA huuN| . . para nahIM, niyati kucha aura hI dIkha rahI hai| pAsa hI kaI lokajana A khar3e hue haiN| para pAra jAne ke lie ve nAva kI pratIkSA meM haiN| inheM nAva denI hogI : aura akele nahIM, ina saba ke sAtha usI nAva meM mujhe bhI gaMgA pAra karanI hogii| * * tabhI siddhadanta nAmaka eka nAvika ne apanI eka vizAla nAva taTa para lagA dii| eka hI chalAMga meM maiM nAva para ArUr3ha ho gayA / anusaraNa meM anya sAre yAtrika bhI nAva para car3ha Aye / mRdu-manda phira bhI kSipra gati se nAva gaMgA para khelatI-sI bahane lgii| siddhadanta nAva kI koTi para khar3A hai / usase bhI Age nAva ke antima chora para pralamba bAhu khar3A ho gayA hU~ / siddhadanta kI huMkAroM se protsAhana pAkara nAva ke donoM ora usake paMktibaddha mallAha tez2I se DA~r3a calA rahe haiN| * * 'ki sahasA hI dUra ho rahe taTa para se ullU kA dhRSTa svara sunAI pdd'aa| nAva ke yAtriyoM meM eka nimittajJAnI khemila bhI thaa| usane ucca svara meM TokA : 'sAvadhAna, yaha yAtrA nirvighna nahIM hogii| yogirATa varddhamAna rakSA kreN| . / ' nAva kucha hI dUra Age bar3hI hogI, ki acAnaka pUrva dizA meM gahare bAdala ghumar3ane lge| tez2a pAnI bharI A~dhI bahane lagI / dekhate-dekhate eka pracaNDa tUphAna meM taTa aura diganta dRSTi se ojhala ho gaye / vAyu ke prabala thaper3oM se uchalate jala ke sivAya aura kahIM kucha bhI dikhAI nahIM par3a rahA thaa| ghaTATopa jala kI uddAma taraMga-lIlA meM nAva cAroM ora se DhaMka gaI / * * * dekha rahA hU~, Avartaka nAmA jalAplAvana ghaTita huA hai| zuddha jalatatva ko usake samasta pariNamanoM ke sAtha, apane samakSa nagna khar3A dekha rahA huuN| zuddha aura nagna jala-dravya / apane sAre rahasyoM aura gaharAvoM kA anAvaraNa karatA vaha sAmane A rahA hai| parAkrAnta hai usakA nartana / usake padAghAtoM se jala

Page #70
loka ke nita-nUtana dvAra khulate jA rahe haiM / dekha rahA hU~, loka ke bhItara loka hai, aura usake bhItara aneka lokAntara haiM / anta nhiiN| . 'pratyeka paramANu ke bhItara saMkhyAnubaMdhI loka-sRSTiyA~ haiM / aura hara sRSTi ke utsa meM kaI-kaI sRSTiyA~ / jAnane kA anta nhiiN| svayam ananta hue binA isa ananta ko kaise jAnA jA sakatA hai ? bhayAnaka hai isa sAkSAtkAra kI ramaNIyatA ! parAtpara hai yaha saundarya ! * * * sahasA hI tanmayatA bhaMga huI / bAhara nAva meM baiThe manuja tumula kolAhala ke sAtha hAhAkAra kara rahe haiM / Arta vilApa ke sAtha apane-apane iSTa devoM ke nAmoccAra kara rahe haiN| khemila kI saba se U~cI AvAz2a pukAra rahI hai : 'trAhi mAm yogirAT, trAhi mAm !' parvata para parvata, aura ulkA para ulkA kI taraha uttuMga lahareM nAva para TUTa rahI haiN| merI avicalatA utanI hI adhika bar3hatI jA rahI hai / nAva ke chora para UrdhvabAhu meru-nizcala khar3A maiM vinAza kI isa lIlA kA mAtra dRSTA raha gayA hU~ / akriya aura abhaya isa AkrAnti ko samarpita ho gayA huuN| DA~r3a calAte paMkti-baddha mallAha DA~r3a chor3a kara nAva meM gur3I-mur3I ho par3a gaye haiN| pAla phaTa gayA hai| usakA merudaNDa udhvasta hokara jAne kaba kA gira cukA hai / nAva ke mudRr3ha paTiye tar3atar3A kara phaTa par3ane kI dhamakI de rahe haiM / tUphAna meM jhaka-jhole khAtI nAva aba-DUbI, aba-DUbI ho rahI hai| nAva meM bhara Aye vipula jala ke taraMgAghAtoM meM mAnavoM kI cItkAreM DUbatI jA rahI haiM / akelA siddhadanta mere koNastha pagoM para kasa kara lipaTA huA hai / * * *aura mujha para cAroM ora se vikarAla jalacara AkramaNa kara rahe haiM / sarvanAza ke isa sImAnta para, sahasA hI bAharI sRSTi merI A~khoM ke sAmane se ojhala ho gaI / vastu-jagata vilupta ho gyaa| niviSaya dhyAna kI gahana tallInatA meM, merI cetanA antarmagna, unmagna ho gaI / apane sivA aura kucha dekhane kI icchA nahIM raha gaI hai / apane sivAya aura kucha dekhanA sambhava hI nahIM raha gayA hai / . ki dekhatA hU~, saba kucha ApoApa dikhAI de rahA hai / jala-tatva ne samarpita ho kara apanI tahoM meM par3I sRSTiyoM ke tumula saMgharSa sammukha pratyakSa kara diye haiN| haThAt jala kI antima taha meM se eka vAtAyana khula pdd'aa| *oha, nAgakumAra jAti ke jala-devoM kA loka ! usameM se daNDAyamAna ho kara eka bhISaNa dAnavAkAra jalAkRti mujhe cahu~ ora se AvepThina karatI dikhAI pdd'ii| pAnila gaharAva meM se eka uddaNDa AvAz2a kI garjanA huI : . 'ore o uddhata, terI yaha majAla, jo tUne mere isa ekarAT jala-sAmrAjya meM praveza karane kA duHsAhasa kiyA hai ! . . .'

Page #71
61 hU~. . . ? DhITha kahIM kA / jAnatA hai tU kauna hai, aura maiM kauna hU~ ? tU merA janama-janama kA bairI hai / yAda kara * * *yAda kara apanA vaha pUrva janma / jaba tU apane tripRSTha vAsudeva ke bhava meM, trikhaMDa sAmrAjya ke mada se cUra thaa| taba maiM apane jaMgala rAjya kA ekAdhipati siMha thaa| tU AkheTa para nikalA thaa| apane krIr3AkautUhala ko tRpta karane ke lie tUne mere vanarAjya kI zAMti bhaMga kI thii| maiM apanI ekAnta guphA meM sukhAsIna leTA thaa| aura tUne vahA~ A kara khela-khela meM merA vadha kara diyA thaa| janama-janama se usa vaira kI agni meM bhasma hotA huA, maiM terI khoja meM kaI yoniyoM meM bhaTakatA rahA * * / Aja AyA hai tU mere paMje meM / Aja terI haDDI-haDDI ko bedha kara, maiM apane vaira kA pratizodha kruuNgaa|' hU~. . . ? o dhRSTa, o mere Adima hatyAre / bolatA kyoM nahIM hai re ! 'jAnatA hai, maiM kauna hU~ ?' 'jalaloka ke adhIzvara sudraMSTra nAgakumAra ko pahacAna rahA huuN|' 'aura jAnate hue bhI phira eka bAra tU merI AtmA kI zAMti bhaMga karane AyA hai ? nirlajja, hatyAre !' 'bhaMga karane nahIM, lauTAne AyA hU~ tumhArI zAnti / tumhAre vara kA RNa cukAne AyA hU~, bandhu ! 'aparAdhI ho kara bar3abolI karatA hai re, kRtAnta !' 'bujjhaha, bujjhaha, nAgakumAra / ' 'sAdhu ke chadmaveza meM tU phira mujhe chalane AyA hai ? mere mAna para coTa karane AyA hai, durAtmA !' 'to parIkSA kara dekho, saumya ! sammukha huuN|' aura bhISaNa garjanA se pAtAloM ko tharrAtI huI vaha dAnavAkRti mujha para TUTa par3I / apanI phUtkAroM se prakANDa magara-maccha aura ajagaroM kI rAziyA~ pheMkatA vaha merI aMtar3iyoM meM dhaMsane lgaa| ___'sudraMSTra, Ao mere bhItara / merI boTI-boTI ko cheda kara apanI vairAgni ko tRpta karo, mitra !' vaha rudra se rudratara hotA huA mere asthi-bandhoM ko bIMdhane ke lie chaTapaTAne lgaa| maiM nizcala se nizcalatara hotA huA, usake Atma-pradezoM meM jaladhArAsA cupacApa sarasarAne lgaa| vaha bAra-hAra hAra kara, adhika pracaMDa vega se mujha para apane ko pachAr3ane lgaa| mAnoM samasta jalaloka mere bhItara dhaMsane ko akulA

Page #72
tabhI usa jalimA ke saghana andhakAra meM me do sundara yuvA nAgakumAra udaya ho kara, merI ora Ate dikhAI pdd'e| unake ceharoM para jala kA parama zAMta mitrAvaruNa rUpa jhalaka rahA thA / * * * pahacAna rahA hU~ tumheM, saumya devAMziyo ! zaMbala aura kambala / ekadA pUrve tuma samyaktva vatsala jinadAsa zrAvaka aura usakI sahamiNI sAdhudAsI ke priya pAlita vRpabha the / vratI zrAvaka-dampati apanA hI prAsuka madhura bhojana tumheM bhI dete the| unakI dharmavANI meM tanmaya ho kara tuma prabodhita hote the| unake upAsI hone para tuma bhI bhojana tyAga dete the / ekadA unakA koI nikaTa mitra, unakI anumati binA, bhaMDIvaraNa ke yAtrA-mele meM hone vAlI rathoM kI daur3a-pratiyogitA meM tumheM jota gyaa| cAbuka mAra-mAra kara usane tumhArI sukumAra dharma-lAlita tvacA ko lahUluhAna kara diyaa| pratiyogitA meM vijayI ho kara vaha pramatta ho gyaa| so binA tumhAre ghAvoM kI parvAha kiye phira cupacApa Akara tumheM ThAna meM bA~dha gyaa| zrAvaka-dampati ne tumheM bhojana dene aura tumhArI cikitsA karane ko bahuta nihore kiye| para tumane mu~ha phera liyA / anna-jala tyAga kara sallekhanA ke vratI ho gaye / zrAvaka tumheM avirAma NamokAra maMtra sunAtA rahA / aura tuma unmagna A~sU bharI A~khoM se apane una zrAvaka mAtA-pitA ko nihArate dehAnta ko prApta ho gaya / * * * jalaloka kI isa uttama devagati meM janma le kara tuma mujhase kyA cAhate ho, vatso ?' 'prabhu kI sevA se kRtArtha honA cAhate haiM !' kahate hI ve donoM hI sukumAra kamalAkRti nAgakumAra mujha se guMtha rahe sudaMSTra ke vikarAla jabar3e meM kUda gaye / sudaMSTra kI sA~se ghuTane lgiiN| aura kaMbala-zaMbala usakI pracaNDa deha ke pora-pora meM ghusa kara use aMtarikSa meM cakrAkAra uchAlane lage / aura sudaMSTra sau-sau gunI adhika zakti se pramatta aura vighAtaka ho kara una phUla-se bAlakoM ko kucalane lagA / - sura aura asura zakti ke saMgharSa ko maiMne usakI tAtvika nagnatA meM visphoTita dekhA / maiMne andhakAra kI Adi purAtana guphAoM kA bhaMjana karate prakAza ke tIroM ko dekhaa| ___zAMtam pApaM * * * zAMtam pApaM * * *Atman, zama * * *zama * * *shm| sudaMSTra maiM tumhArA hU~ / ' * kaMbala-zaMbala maiM tumhArA hU~ / so'ham, so'm, so'ham . . .'' aura merI nAsAgra para sthira dRSTi meM jhalakA : merI chAtI para do sundara kamaloM ke bIca sudaMSTra zizu ke samAna nizcita nirvikAra, zAnta bhAva se so gayA hai| kAyotsarga ke zikhara se avarUDha ho kara jaba maiMne A~kheM kholIM. to nAva para pAra ke ghATa para A lagI thI / taTa kI bAlakA ke zvetAbha prasAra meM padmAsana se AmIna thA / aura sAre yAtrI bANa aura surakSA kI gaharI niHzvAsa chor3ate hue,

Page #73
mere jAna-sampuTa para mAthe DhAle hue haiN| * eka sapheda kapota aura kapotI kahIM se Akara mere kaMdhoM para A~kha-micaunI khela rahe haiN| .. dekha rahA hU~... surabhipura kA sAmudrika zAstrI puSpadanta gaMgA ke taTa para se gujara rahA hai| vaha yahA~ kyA khoja rahA hai, so use bhI ThIka-ThIka patA nahIM hai / itanI hI saMcetanA usameM hai ki use apanI vidyA Aja Azvasta nahIM kara pA rahI hai, aura vaha jAne kisa alakSya vastu ko TohatA, niSkAraNa yahA~ bhaTaka rahA hai| sahasA usa ujjvala, ati sUkSma, snigdha bAlukA prAntara meM use kisI ke pada-cihnoM kI paMkti aMkita dikhAI pdd'ii| oha, ye caraNa-chApeM to padma, cakra, aMkuza, kalaza, prAsAda Adi cihnoM se lAMchita haiM . . / __ . . 'zAstra meM jinake viSaya meM kevala par3hA thA, unheM Aja pratyakSa dekha liyaa| nizcaya hI koI SaT khaNDa pRthvI kA adhIzvara cakravartI isa mArga se gayA hai| mana hI mana usane socA : kyoM na isa pada-paMkti kA anusaraNa karU~ / kahIM na kahIM vaha devAnupriya avazya mila jAyegA / usakI sevA karU~gA, to merI sArI manokAmanAe~ pUrNa ho jaayeNgii| aura vaha una caraNa-cihnoM kI rAha cala pdd'aa| .. 'thUNAga sanniveza ke caitya-upavana meM eka azoka vRkSatale dhyAnArUr3ha baiThA hU~ / sahasA hI puSpadanta sAmane khar3A dikhAI par3A / vismaya se vaha diGgamUr3ha ho gayA hai / soca rahA hai : 'nizcaya hI, yahI vaha puruSottama hai| * *isakA vakSasthala zrIvatsa cihna se lAMchita hai| isakA nAbhi-maNDala dakSiNAvarta ke kAraNa gaMbhIra hai| isake aMga-aMga sUryamaNi mANikya kI komala raktAbhA se damaka rahe haiM / mahardika cihna kevala isake caraNa-taloM meM hI nahIM haiM ; isake zarIra kA pratyeka avayava apane viziSTa lAMchanoM se dIpita hai / para vicitra hai yaha vyakti / aise prazasta lakSaNoM se maMDita hai, phira bhI nipaTa sarvahArA aura akiMcana hai| isake tana para to eka jIrNa vastra kA lattA bhI nahIM / eka kASTha kA kamaMDalu aura mayUra-picchikA, yahI isakI eka mAtra sampadA hai| kisI pAMzukulika se bhI yaha gayA-bItA hai| lUke-sUkhe bhikSAnna para nirvAha karatA jAna par3atA hai / dvAra-dvAra kA bhikSuka / dIna-hIna, kaMgAla, yAcaka ! * * * ... to kyA samasta bharata-kSetra kI rAjya-lakSmI ke sUcaka, sAmudrika-zAstra ke vacana mithyA ho gaye ? dIrghakAla taka kaSTa uThA kara, deza-deza bhaTaka kara, maiMne isa vidyA kA gaharA maMthana kiyA hai| pUrvApara doSa se rahita, avyabhicArI mAnA jAtA hai yaha sAmudrika vijJAna / hAya, vaha bhI Aja jhUThA siddha ho gayA / mere jIne kA AdhAra hI samApta ho gayA / kyoM na usI gaMgA meM jA kara DUba marU~, jisake bAlukA taTa ne mujhe yoM pravaMcita kiyA hai / hAya re hAya, bhAgya kI viDaMbanA / mere sAre zAstra

Page #74
jJAna ke chora para mujhe khar3A milA hai yaha nirvastra bhikSuka / kima para yahA~ bharosA kiyA jAye, kisakA yahA~ sahArA liyA jAye / mAre avalambana jhUTe par3a gaye / jhUThe haiM sAre zAstra, sAre jJAna-vijJAna, sArI lakSaNa-vidyAe~ / kitanI sArI mRgaricikAe~ / kahA~ hai vaha cakravartI, jisakI mahimA ke gAna se lakSaNa-zAstra bhare par3e haiM . . * / yA to use pA lenA hogA, yA mujhe apane isa kaMgAla jIvana kA anta kara denA hogaa|' __antarikSa meM se dhvanita huA: 'bujjhaha - 'bujjhaha* * bujjhaha / yahI hai. . . yahI hai . * yahI hai vaha cakravartI, puSpadanta ! para kevala bharata-kSetra kI SaT khaNDa pRthvI kA nahIM / yaha lokAloka kI samasta sattAoM kA ekarAT mvAmI hai| yaha cakravatiyoM kA cakravartI hai| * * *AgAmI yugatIrtha kA pravartaka, tIrthaMkara mahAvIra / tere zAstroM meM bhI jo nahIM likhe, aise battIsa hajAra lakSaNoM se dIpita hai, isa puruSottama kI kAyA / . . __'nipaTa akiMcana eka mAtra yahI, nikhila sampadAoM kA akhaNDa bhoktA aura prabhu hai ! * * "saca hI anubhava kiyA tUne, tere sAre zAstra, vijJAna, sampadAe~, sahAre, jahA~ samApta ho gaye, vahIM ise dekhA aura pAyA jA sakatA hai| jAna, jAna, jAna puSpadaMta, yahI hai vaha, jise tU ciradina se khoja rahA hai| yahI hai vaha, jise sArI vidyAe~, AdikAla se thAhane meM lagI haiN| - bujjhaha - 'bujjhaha* * bujjhaha puSpadanta / ' apane bhramadhya meM sthita tRtIya netra tale, mere oMThoM para asphuTa mmita khila aayii| . . . puSpadanta ko AMkhoM se A~sU jhara rahe haiN| aura apane bhIne kapAla aura kapola ko mera eka pagatala se jur3Aye vaha gaharI sA~seM le rahA hai / zAyada isa AkAMkSA se ki usakA lalATa isa niSkicana cakravartI ke caraNa-cihnoM se sadA ko lAMchita ho jAye * /

Page #75
avasarpiNI kA vidUSaka : maMkhali gozAlaka magadha ke A~gana meM A khar3A huA huuN| paMca zailoM ne gardana uThA kara kautUla se mujhe dekhA / unase pare, vipulAcala unnata mastaka khar3A hai : vItarAga / usake pAdaprAnta meM bimbisAra zreNika kA sAmrAjya-svapna karavaTeM badala rahA hai / dUra para rAjagRhI ke abhraMkaza gumbadoM aura bhavanoM ke garvIle mAthe jhuka gaye haiN| unase pITha phera kara gA~voM kI ora cala par3A huuN| rAha meM nAlanda-pAr3A gAMva ke bAhara, kisI tantuvAya-zAlA kA vizAla chappara dikhAI pdd'aa| bhItara praveza kara gyaa| saikar3oM julAhoM ke paMktibaddha hAtha bunAI ke sA~coM para tejI se cala rahe haiM / kammakara : bunakara / * * *yAda A gaI barasoM purAnI usa dina kI bAta / pippalI-kAnana ke mele se cupacApa nikala kara, ina kRSakoM aura kammakaroM kI bastiyoM meM calA gayA thaa| vahA~ se phira merA hRdaya lauTa kara kabhI nandyAvarta ke rAjabhavana meM nahIM aayaa| kevala yahI zramika to ve loga haiM, jo saccI aura jIvita roTI khAte haiM / garma khUna se sIdhe uThI tAz2A rottii| usake bAda mahaloM meM basate abhijAtoM kA bhojana bAsA aura mata lagA thaa| mahAsattA se curAyA huA mohana -bhog| - phira to bhojana kI ora se merA mana hI virakta ho gayA !... avirAma zrama karate, ye jIvana ke zilpI zramika / dharma jinameM sahaja hI karma ho gayA hai| ye janmajAta aparigrahI haiM / aparigraha kA vrata lene kA dambha inheM nahIM karanA pdd'taa| kyoMki parigraha hI inheM anajAnA hai| inake bAda kevala anagAra zramaNa hI saccA aparigrahI hotA hai| prakRta dharma kI rekhA sIdhe zramika se zramaNa kI ora gaI hai| tantuvAya-zAlA ke jeThuka ne Akara zramaNa kA vinayAcAra kiyaa| phira sAmane kI ora khar3I zramaNa-vasatikA kI ora iMgita kara vaha mujhe usa ora le gyaa| dAlAna ke eka kone meM biche takhta kA mayUra-pIchI se zodhana kara, maiM usa para AsIna ho gyaa| jeTTaka merI AvazyakatAe~ pUchatA rahA / so to kucha thI hI nhiiN| maiM cupa rhaa| jeThuka mAthA navA~ kara calA gayA / . .

Page #76
66 agale dina bar3I bhora tantuvAya-zAlA ke eka kone meM jA kara dhyAnastha ho gayA / karSoM kI khar3akhar3AhaTa meM cetanA ekatAna ho kara anahada nAda se saMyukta ho gaI / eka adbhuta samvAda kI dhyAnAnubhUti huii| karma meM akarma : aura akarma meM karma / sahasA hI sunAI par3A : 'magadhanAtha zreNika praNAma karatA hai, bhagavan / ' phira eka komala kaNTha svara sunAI par3A : 'vaidehI celanA praNAma karatI hai, bhante / ' samarasa zramaNa kI sthira nAsAgra dRSTi meM, rAjamukuToM ke ratna pighala kara eka zveta dhArA meM bulabuloM-se visarjita ho gye| 'magadha ke sAmrAjI zramaNagAra kA Atithya svIkAreM, bhagavan / ' unheM koI uttara nahIM milA / zramaNa ne dA~yA hAtha uThA kara, karSoM para tejI se ghUma rahe, sahasroM paMktibaddha hAthoM kI ora u~galI uThA dii| * * dekha zreNika, pRthvI kA AgAmI sAmrAjya bunA jA rahA hai| mahArAnI celanA ne nivedana kiyA : 'devAnupriya, hamArI sevA sviikaareN| magadha ke mahAlaya ko apanI padaraja se pAvana kreN|' cupa raha kara, zramaNa phira pratimAyoga meM nizcala ho gyaa| eka tIsare pahara vanacaryA se lauTa kara dekhA : zramaNa-zAlA ke eka kone meM koI thakA-mA~dA yuvaka Akara Thahara gayA hai| usake tejasvI cehare para bholApana hai| diGgamUr3ha-sA lagatA hai / nipaTa akiMcana, pAMzukulika jAna par3atA hai| usake ikahare gore sundara zarIra para, kevala jarjara-sA antarvAsaka, aura uparanA par3A hai / ghane dhuMgharAle avahelita bAla dhUla meM sane haiN| 'bhante Arya, maiM maMkhali-putra gozAlaka praNAma karatA huuN|' maiMne nigAha uThA kara Upara se nIce taka use herA / 'bhikSaka vaMza meM hI merA janma huA hai, bhante / janmajAta anagAra huuN| pravAsa kI eka gozAlA meM acAnaka merI mA~ ne mujhe prasava kiyA thA, so gozAlaka kahalAtA hU~ / zramaNa cupa rhaa| 'pitA maMkhali citere haiN| bhadra logoM ke citrapaTa banA kara peTa pAlate haiN| merI bhI vahI AjIvikA hai|'

Page #77
8.9 cupa .. . 'devArya jaisA sundara puruSa to Aja taka maiMne dekhA nahIM / AjJA ho to ApakA citra A~kU, bhante * * !' zramaNa mauna, dUra kI pahAr3I tAkatA rhaa| . 'kRpA kareM bhante, aise hI kisI nigraMtha guru kI khoja meM jAne kaba se bhaTaka rahA huuN|' 'citrAMkana meM aba mana nahIM lagatA / bhadra , logoM ke bhoMthare cehare kaba taka A~k / so nikammA samajha kara pitA ne nikAla diyA hai| dara-dara mArA-mArA phira rahA huuN| kahA~ jAnA hai, patA nhiiN| kisa khoja meMhU~, nahIM mAlUma / bhikSA bhI nahIM miltii| kaI dina upAse nikala jAte haiN| loga mujhe kaMgAla bhikhArI. samajha kara tAr3a dete haiM / maiM kahatA hU~, maiM zramaNa huuN| ve upahAsa karate haiN| baccoM ko mere pIche chU lagA dete haiN| uddhata bacce mujha para dhUla pheMkate haiM, mujhe mAra-pITa kara bhagA dete haiM / ye loga mujhe samajhate hI nhiiN| kahA~ jAU~, kyA karU~, bhante, rAha dikhaaeN|' ___ maiM apalaka mauna use tAkatA rhaa| 'bhante, kSamA kareM, isa saMsAra meM saba ora mujhe mAyAcAra hI dIkhA / saba jhuutth| koI kisI kA nhiiN| saba svAratha ke sage / rAjA dekheM, zreSThi dekhe, zrAvaka dekhe, zramaNa bhI bahuta dekhe| saba paakhNddii| haiM kucha aura, dikhAte kucha aura haiN| para maiM to nirA mUrkha hU~, bhnte| caturAI AtI nahIM / jo mana meM AtA hai, vahI baka detA huuN| saccI bAta kahane se DaratA nhiiN| isI se saba mujha se cir3hate haiN| dhakkA dekara hakAla bAhara karate haiN| unakI pola khola detA hU~ n| kyA karU~, svabhAva se lAcAra hU~, bhante / ' 'Apa mahAnubhAva haiM, devArya / merI bakajhaka saba suna rahe haiN| itane dhIraja se kisI ne mujhe nahIM sunA / bahuta anugRhIta huA Apako pA kara / ...' akAraNa vAtsalya merI A~khoM meM jhalaka aayaa| maiM usa malinavezI dIna yuvA ke prati dayArdra ho aayaa| nirA sarala, cira anAtha bAlaka hai yh| _ 'bhagavan, apane Upara mujhe bahuta khIjha aura krodha AtA hai| AtmaglAni se merA mana sadA kSubdha aura kAtara rahatA hai| kitanA TUTA-phUTA, ghRNita, bekAra hU~ maiN| lagatA hai ki bahuta adhUrA aura aTapaTA huuN| yahAM saba adhUre aura aTapaTe haiN| para kapaTa kauzala se apane chidra chupAte haiN| mujhe kapaTa-kUTa AtA nhiiN| karanA cAhatA hU~, para kara nahIM paataa| saphala nahIM hotA / so ulaTI mAra par3a jAtI hai|'

Page #78
'suneM bhante, isa adhUrepana se maiM bahuta Uba gayA hU~ / pUrNa hue binA, mujhe pala bhara caina nahIM / aura bhante, saMsAra meM svArtha, bhaMguratA, mRtyu dekha kara bahuta-bahuta vyathA hotI hai / kyA inase nistAra kA koI acUka upAya nahIM ? * isa saMtrAsa meM aba jiyA nahIM jAtA, bhante / kyA pUrNatA aura mukti jaisI koI cIz2a sambhava hai, bhante ?' 68 merI A~kheM pUrI visphArita ho kara usakI Arta karuNa mukha - mudrA para chA gayIM / vaha unameM khoyA, kucha AzvastatA anubhava karane lagA / bhante, auddhatya kSamA kreN| ye jo ajita keza-kaMbalI Adi kaI zramaNa mokSamArga kA pravacana karate ghUma rahe haiM na, ye saba duSTa aura pAkhaNDI haiM / inake dila meM dayA nhiiN| hAthI ke dA~ta dikhAne ke aura, khAne ke aura / bArIka tatva carcA aura dharmopadeza karate haiN| para inakA pravacana alaga, jIvana alaga / jIvana meM sAdhAraNa saMsArI se bhI ye gaye bIte haiM, bhraSTAcArI haiM / ' 'mukti mArga ye kyA jAneM / maiM to DaratA nahIM kisI se / akkhar3a hU~ na / inake mu~ha para inakI bakhiye udher3a detA hU~ / so mujhe dutkAra dete haiM / apane ziSyoM se piTavA kara mujhe bhagA dete haiM / ' I' mujhe niruttara dekha kara, gozAlaka kA choTA-sA bAlaka mana kSubdha ho AyA / vaha jhallA kara apane kone meM jA baiThA / socane lagA : 'maiMne to ise mahAnubhAva samajhA thA, para yaha zramaNa bhI nirA patthara jAna par3atA hai / uttara taka nahIM detA / basa hU~ hU~ karatA rahatA hai| nirmama, nirdaya / para dekhane meM kitanA bhavya, sundara aura vItarAga hai / lagatA to dayA kI mUrti hai| phira mere prati aisA krUra kyoM hai ? kucha samajha nahIM AtA / jAna par3atA hai, jagata meM satya hai hI nahIM / saba jhUTha aura pAkhaNDa hI hai / saba niHsAra, nirarthaka, mAyA / yA phira maiM hI bahuta durguNI, apAtra, abhAgA hU~ / koI mujhe pyAra nahIM karatA 'koI mujhe nahIM cAhatA / kyA karU~, kahA~ jAU~ ? kyA AtmahatyA kara lU~ ? ' aura vaha cupacApa rotAsubakatA dIkhA / auMdhe hAthoM se apane A~sU poMchatA dIkhA / matibhramita aura kiMkartavya vimUr3ha-sA ho kara apane jhole meM bharI citra - sAmagrI aura nirarthaka vastuoM ko ulaTanepalaTane lagA / 1 .. Jain Educationa International usake mana kI sArI gatividhiyoM ko hathelI kI rekhAoM-sA spaSTa dekha rahA hU~ / dIna-daridra hai yaha vRtti se kSudra hai / krodhI, mAnI, lobhI, dveSI bhI hai| hara samaya pratikriyAoM se jalatA - kur3hatA rahatA hai / mailA -kucailA hai| jar3a aura akarmaNya bhI hai / para isake kaSAya pAnI kI lakIra se kSaNika haiM / bAlaka kI taraha, kSaNikaM For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #79
ruSTaM, kSaNikaM tuSTaM hai / kisI bhI kaSAya kI graMthi isameM ba~dha nahIM pAtI / nipaTa pAnI hai| kAle ke sAtha kAlA, dhaule ke sAtha dhaulA / saMsArI astitva kA.jItAjAgatA, calatA-phiratA vyaMgacitra hai| yaha jagata ise rAsa nahIM AyA / so koI duniyAvo ceharA apanA yaha banA nahIM pAyA / apane kisI vilakSaNa cehare kI khoja meM hai| bhItara-bAhara eka hai| koI kapaTa-kUTa, mAyAcAra isameM nahIM / isa duniyA kA yaha nahIM / yahA~ isakI koI hastI nahIM / asmitA nahIM / jAnane ko Akula hai ki 'kauna hU~ maiM ?' AtmA hai yaha : sahaja hI jijJAsu, mumukSu / svataMtra / * * *caumAsA baiTha gayA hai / varSAyoga nAlandA meM hI nirgamana ho rahA hai| magadha ke samrATa-samrAjJI prAyaH A kara anurodha kara jAte haiM, ki zramaNa unake bhojana ko prasAda kreN| so kyA vaha mere hAtha hai ? cupa rahatA hU~ / sunatA hU~, mahArAnI celanA nitya rAjadvAra para dvArApekSaNa karatI haiM / para bhikSuka kabhI usa rAha nahIM AyA / mAsa-kSapaNa ho gayA : eka mAsa nirAhAra hI bIta gayA / pAraNa rAjagaha ke vijaya zreSThi ke yahA~ huA / sarvasva-tyAgI zrAvaka hai vaha / arjana kara saMcaya nahIM krtaa| koTi sUvarNa-dravya nirdhanoM ko hara dina dAna kara detA hai| udanta phailA hai, zramaNa ne usake ghara AhAra liyA, to usake A~gana meM ratna-vRSTi huI ! Azcarya prakaTa hue| mujhe to kucha patA nahIM / udanta sunakara gozAlaka vismita hai / soca rahA hai -pratApI hai yaha nigaMTha / jisakI bhikSA yaha grahaNa kara le, usI kA dvAra suvarNa se bhara uThatA hai / yaha sune yA na sune, maiM to isakA ziSya ho rhuuNgaa| isake prasAda se anna-bhojana to pA hI jaauuNgaa| * so A kara vaha mere nikaTa praNata huA aura bolA : 'anugata hU~, bhante / ApakA ziSya huuN| dIna jana ko apanA sevaka svIkAreM / ApakA kyA priya karU~, bhante ?' maiM sAmAyika meM tallIna thaa| use koI uttara na milA / para dekhatA hU~ aba vaha hara samaya merA anusaraNa karatA rahatA hai| tAka meM rahatA hai, ki use koI sevA. batAU~, to vaha dhanya ho jAye / para mujhe to koI sevA darakAra nahIM / yaha zarIra svayam hI apanI sevA kara letA hai / parAzraya merA svabhAva nhiiN| kintu gozAlaka mere AsapAsa maeNDalAtA rahatA hai / cupacApa hara samaya mujhe nihAratA rahatA hai| kahI se bhI rUkhA-sUkhA pA kara jIvana-yApana karatA hai / apane meM rahatA hI nahIM / aharniza usakA jI mujhI meM lagA rahatA hai / cAhe jaba A kara kahatA hai : 'zaraNAgata hU~, bhante / mere ekameva Azraya ho / saMsAra meM merA koI nhiiN| . . maiM kisI kA nahIM * / '

Page #80
maiM usake bhole cehare ko eka nigAha dekha, cupa ho rahatA hU~ / eka aura mAsa-kSapaNa kA pAraNA Ananda lohAra ke yahA~ huaa| phira eka mAsa nirAhAra bIta gayA, to sunanda julAhe ke kuTIra dvAre bhikSuka pratilAbhita huA / gozAlaka Akara bolA : 70 'bhante, loga kahate haiM, sunanda julAhe ne prabhu ko sarvakAmaguNa AhAra se tRpta kiyA / 'utkRSTa rasavatI to samajha sakatA hU~, bhante, para AhAra meM sarvakAmaguNa kahA~ se A gaye ?' maiM usakI bAlya - jijJAsA para muskurA AyA / vaha bahuta gadgad ho gayA / na samajha kara bhI, mAnoM marama guna liyA ho usane / gozAlaka socatA rahatA, niHsandeha yaha svAmI mahA pratApI hai / jAna par3atA ' hai, parama jJAnI hai / dekhUM to, kitanA jJAnI hai ? so kArtika pUrNimA ke sabere mere nikaTa A kara usane pUchA : .. 'devArya, Aja nAlanda ke gRhastha vArSika utsava manA rahe haiM / sabake yahA~ bhArI anna-madhurAnna kA pAka ho rahA hai| to mujhe Aja bhikSA meM kyA milegA, bhante ? ' maiM eka Taka cupa use dekhatA rahA / use jAne kahA~ se uttara sunAI par3A : 're bhadra, khaTTA ho gayA kodrava, aura kUra dhAnya pAyegA tU / aura dakSiNA meM eka khoTA rupayA !' uttama bhojana kI prApti ke liye lAlAyita gozAlaka, sabere se sA~jha taka dvAra-dvAra bhaTakatA phirA / para use kahIM se kucha milA nahIM / taba sAyaMkAla hone para eka sevaka rAha meM usa para dayA kara use apane ghara le gayA / usake phaile hAthoM meM A kara par3e sacamuca hI khaTTe kodrava aura kUrAnna / bhUkha kI vyAkulatA vaza vaha unheM bhI khA gayA / ' * aura dakSiNA meM eka camakatA rupayA bhI pAyA usane / paNya meM parIkSA karAI to patA calA ki sikkA khoTA hai / hAya re bhAgya ! saca hI mere guru jJAnI haiN| honI Tala nahIM sakatI / niyati jaisI koI cIz2a avazya hai / A kara mujha se bolA : 'bhante, sarvajJAnI haiM Apa / bhAvI kI rekhA aTala hotI hai / niyativAda hI satya hai / ' 'nizcaya, ajJAnI niyatibaddha hai / para jJAnI svayam apanA niyantA hai / jo sva-bhAva meM hai, apanA bhAvI vaha Apa hai / ' Jain Educationa International gozAlaka cauMkA / mujhe mauna dekha acaMbhita ho rahA / svAmI to cupa haiM, phira uttara kisane diyA ? * asamaMjasa meM khoyA vaha apanI rAha calA gayA / For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #81
varSAyoga samApta hone para nAlaMdA se vihAra kara gyaa| calate samaya dekhA, gozAlaka kA konA sUnA par3A hai| usakI jholI bhI vahA~ nahIM hai| kahIM bhaTakatA hogaa| phira kollAga sanniveza meM A nikalA hU~ / yahA~ ke bahula brAhmaNa kA bhAva ujjvala hai| caumAse ke antima mAsa-kSapaNa kA pAraNa usI ke dvAra para huaa| usake hAtha se jaise candramA ne bhikSuka ke pANi-pAtra meM payasa DhAla diyaa| __ bhUkhe-pyAse gozAlaka kA nirIha kumhalAyA mukha sAmane A gyaa| dekha rahA hU~ : nAlanda kI tantuvAya-zAlA ke zramaNAgAra meM lauTa kara, jaba usane majhe vahA~ nahIM pAyA, to vaha udvigna ho gyaa| saba se pUchatA phirA : svAmI kahA~ gaye ? kisI ne koI uttara nahIM diyaa| sArA dina udAsa mukha laTakAye cAroM ora khojatA phiraa| mana hI mana kAtara ho kara use rulAI A gaI : 'hAya, maiM to phira vaisA hI ekAkI ho gyaa| vaha vikSipta-sA ho gyaa| usane jholI rAha para pheMka dI / tatkAla mastaka muMDavA kara aura vastra tyAga kara, nagna ho nikala pdd'aa| kollAga sanniveza meM A kara usane sunA ki bahula brAhmaNa ke yahA~ eka zramaNa ne AhAra liyA, to ratna-suvarNa kI vRSTi se usakA ghara bhara gyaa| usane socA : 'aisA prabhAva to mere guru kA hI ho sakatA hai|' khoja-talAza karatA vaha nadI taTa ke ekAnta meM A pahuMcA, jahAM maiM kAyotsarga meM lIna thA / caraNoM meM sara DhAla kara bolA : 'maiM bhI nagna niHsaMga ho gayA, prabhu / aba ina zrIcaraNoM se mujhe alaga na rakkheM / kSaNa bhara bhI aba svAmI ke binA mujhe caina nhiiN| para tuma Thahare vItarAgI, tuma se prIti kaise sambhava hai? lekina vivaza hU~, balAt merA mana tumhArI ora khiMcatA hai| upekSA karate ho, taba bhI apane hI lagate ho / kyoMki vikasita kamala jaisI dRSTi se tuma merI ora dekhate ho / aisI citavana aura kahA~ pAU~gA !' 'Atman, bhavya hai tU !' zramaNa ke nispanda oThoM se use sunAI pdd'aa| usakI A~khoM se Tapa-Tapa AMsU girane lage aura vaha pAgala ho kara nAcane lagA / avadhUta kI taraha niraMjana hai isa lar3ake kI cetnaa| tana-mana ke UparI taloM meM jAne kitane hI virodhI khela calate rahate haiN| para bhItara se eka dama hI unmana hai yaha / akAraNa krIr3A-kautuka karatA rahatA hai / kitanI vicitra hotI haiM, jIvoM kI pariNatiyA~ / svarNakhala kI ora jA rahA huuN| pIche-pIche gozAlaka cupacApa cala rahA hai| mArga meM kucha gvAle khIra pakA rahe haiM / gozAlaka bolA :

Page #82
72 'prabhu, maiM kSudhAtura ho gayA huuN| caliye ina gvAloM se pAyasAnna kA bhojana paayeN|' 'yaha khIra nahIM pakegI !' jaMgala bola utthaa| gozAlaka apanI bhUkha ko bhUla kara utpAta kI mudrA meM A gyaa| jA kara gvAloM se bolA : 'are gopAlo, suno, ye devArya trikAlajJa haiN| kahate haiM ki yaha khIra nahIM pkegii| pakate na pakate, tumhArI haMDiyA phaTa jAyegI, aura khIra mATI meM mila jaayegii|' ___ bhayabhIta aura kSudhArta gvAle caukanne ho gaye / unhoMne turata ha~DiyA ko bA~sa kI khipacciyoM se kasa kara bA~dha diyaa| kintu cAvala adhika anupAta meM hone se phUla gaye, aura haMDiyA sacamuca hI phaTa par3I / gvAloM ne ThIkaroM meM avaziSTha khIra khA kara saMtoSa kiyaa| para gozAlaka ke palle kucha nahIM pdd'aa| mana hI mana vaha budabudAyA : 'hAya rI niyati ! prabhu saca hI kaNa-kaNa kI jAnate haiN| niyativAda parama satya hai|' aura apane khoje satya kI pratIti pA kara hI vaha mAnoM santuSTa ho gyaa| ___Age vihAra karate-karate hama brAhmaNa grAma A pahu~ce / gAMva ke do pAr3e haiM : nanda aura upananda nAmaka do bhAI kramazaH unake svAmI haiN| nanda kA ghara choTA hai, usakI samRddhi kama hai| maiM usI ke dvAra para bhikSArtha calA aayaa| bahuta prema se usane bhikSuka ko dahI aura kurAna kA AhAra diyaa| upananda kA ghara bar3A dekha kara gozAlaka usake yahA~ bhikSArtha jA pahu~cA / gRha-svAmI kI AjJA se eka dAsI ne use bAsI cAvala bhikSA meM diye| gozAlaka ne ruSTa ho kara upananda ko dhikkArA / suna kara upananda ne dAsI se krodhAveza meM kahA : 'jo vaha bhikSAnna na le, to use usake mAthe para hI DAla de|' bAsI cAvaloM se nahA kara gozAlaka garaja uThA : 'zramaNa kA aisA ghora apamAna ? yadi mere guru kA tapateja saccA ho, to re madAndha, terA dhara jala kara bhasma ho jaaye|' tapateja to kisI kA sagA nahIM / merA bhI nahIM / * dekhate-dekhate upananda kA ghara ghAsaphUsa ke puMja kI taraha jalakara bhasma ho gyaa| merA kisI se kyA lenaa-denaa| jIva paraspara apanA dInA-pAvanA cukA rahe haiN| prANiyoM ke rAgadeSoM ke ina duzcakroM meM se anubhava-yAtrA kiye binA chuTakArA nhiiN| jise pAra karanA hai, use bhedanA to hogA hii| use jAne binA nistAra nhiiN|

Page #83
73 campA nagarI kI ora A nikalA huuN| sunA hai, pUrva ke samudrapAla rAjA dadhivAhana magadha ke AkramaNa se apane rAjya kI rakSA ke liye lar3ate hue campA ke durga-dvAra para kAma A gye| ajAtazatru aura varSAkAra yahA~ Adhipatya jamAye, vaizAlI para AkramaNa karane kA kUTacakra raca rahe haiN| - mahArAnI padmAvatI aura zIla-candanA mahAvIra kI zaraNa khojane zrAvastI kI ora calI gaI haiN| niyati ke cakravyUha para khar3e ho kara, campA ko eka nigAha dekhaa| phira, mahAvIra ne zrAvastI kI ora udbodhana kA hAtha uThA diyaa| _AkAza meM bAdala garajane lage haiN| dharatI ne daraka kara pyAse oMTha Upara uThA diye haiN| annamaya koza ko kaMcuka kI taraha utAra pheNkaa| aura candanA taTa ke eka durgama kAntAra meM varSAyoga sampanna karane ko, samAdhistha ho gayA huuN| ArAtri-divasa barasatI vRSTidhArAoM, aura samudrI tUphAnoM tale nizcala khar3A huuN| aura yAvanmAtra jIva-sRSTi kI nUtana sarjana-prajanana prakriyA ke isa parva meM tallIna ho gayA huuN| pRthvI, jala, vanaspati ke ina nivir3a rAjyoM ke gahana aMdhiyAroM se pAra ho rahA huuN| jIvoM kI Abaddha AtmAoM ke bhItara chAye, karmoM ke jaTA-jUTa zAkhA-jAloM kA anta nahIM hai| Agneya cakra kI taraha apanI cetanA ko, isa AlajAla meM pha~satI hI calI jAtI dekha rahA huuN| * para yaha kauna hai, jo durgama aura bhayAnaka araNya kI trizUlAkAra zilA para avicala baiThA hai| * varSAyoga kI samApti para, campA ke bAhara, puMDarIka caitya meM pratimAyoga se avasthita huuN| campA-durga kI saba se U~cI burja para, eka suvarNa ke mArIca dAnava ko aTTahAsa karate suna rahA huuN| * * arihantoM kI AdikAlIna vihAranagarI campA, jAga * * 'jAga * * jAga * * ! campA se prasthAna kara rahA thA ki gozAlaka ko phira chAyA kI taraha anugAmI pAyA / sA~jha hote, kollAga grAma pahoMca kara bAhara ke eka zUnya gRha meM vAsa kiyaa| rAtri ghira AI / cira parityakta zUnya gRha ke eka kone meM pratimAyoga se dhyAnastha huuN| dvArA para gozAlaka capala vAnara kI taraha caMkramaNa kara rahA hai| tabhI grAma ke svAmI kA siMha nAmA eka putra apanI abhinava yauvanA dAsI vidyunmati ke sAtha ekAnta meM keli-krIr3A karane ko zUnyagRha meM praviSTa huaa| ucca svara meM usane pukArA : ___ 'yahA~ koI sAdhu, brAhmaNa yA yAtrAlu ho to vole / tAki hama anyatra cale jAyeM !' ____ a~dhere meM chupa-chupe gozAlaka vidyunmati ko dekha kara galadazru ho aayaa| usake jI meM mIThI-mIThI dhukadhukI hone lgii| eka madhura jijJAsA se usakA sArA prANa kAtara ho AyA / so vaha kutUhalI apanI jagaha gupacupa ho rahA /

Page #84
74 ... aura maiM ? maiM to utsargita hU~, utkrAnta huuN| yahA~ hU~ hI nahIM / jAne kahA~ huuN| maiM to kucha dekhatA nahIM : saba kucha dekhatA huuN| yahA~ bhI hU~, anyatra bhI huuN| mujha se kyA chupA hai ? uttara kauna de ? * * * ___siMha ne Azvasta ho kara, zUnya gRha ke nirjana andhakAra meM, vidyunmati ke sAtha nirdvandva aura tallIna hokara rati-krIr3A kI ! * * 'jaba vahA~ se ve donoM nikale, to dvAra ke pAsa a~dhere meM khar3e gozAlakaM ne vivaza ho kara dAsI kA kara-sparza kara liyaa| vaha cillA uThI : 'svAmI, kisI puruSa ne mujhe sparza kiyA hai . . . !' tatkAla siMha ne lauTa kara gozAlaka ko dhara pkdd'aa| bolA : 'are kapaTI, nirlaja, tene cupa rahakara hamArI madana-krIr3A dekhI hai / bulAyA thA, to uttara bhI nahIM diyA re nIca ?' kaha kara usane gozAlaka ko donoM hAthoM se uThA kara, patthara kI dIvAra se kaI bAra pachAr3a diyaa| aura apanI dAsI ko lekara chUmaMtara ho gyaa| ___gozAlaka ghAyala billI-sA A kara mere pairoM meM dubaka gyaa| bolA : 'svAmI, Apa ke dekhate isa duSTa ne mujhe mArA / aura Apane merI rakSA bhI nahIM kii| mere saMrakSaka ho kara bhI, merI durgati ko cupacApa dekhate rahe / kaise svAmI ho tuma ?' ____ maiM kucha nahIM bolaa| niSkaMpa aura nizcala usakI durgati aura durdazA ko sahatA rahA / : 'mujhe akriya dekha, vaha hAra kara kisI kone meM jA pdd'aa| bar3I dera subakatA rahA / phira apanI hI chAtI meM muMha DAla kara, pazu kI taraha sukha pUrvaka gAr3ha nidrA meM magna ho gyaa| kauna kapaTI hai, kauna kAmI hai, kauna akAmI hai, kauna saccA hai, kauna jhUThA hai, so kevalI ke sivAya kauna ThIka-ThIka jAna sakatA hai ? dUsare caritna ke nirNAyaka hama kauna hote haiM ? kollAga se cala kara patrakAla grAma AyA huuN| yahA~ bhI gAMva bAhara ke eka zUnyagRha kA andhakAra AvAhana detA diikhaa| so usake eka kone meM jAkara saMcetana bhAva se dhyAna meM lIna ho rhaa| dekhU, isa andhakAra meM kyA cala rahA hai ? kucha rAta bIte acAnaka ucca svara sunAI par3A : 'are koI hai yahA~ ?' zUnya meM se koI uttara nahIM lauttaa| jhillI kI jhaMkAra aura bhI gaharI aura tIvra ho gii| eka nara-nArI yugala kI pada-cApa se sannATA bhaMga huaa| "priyatama skanda !' "priye, daMtilA' * * ?'

Page #85
'tuma grAmapati ke putra, maiM eka tuccha dAsI !' 'Aha, tumhArA rUpa-yauvana ! dAsI nahIM, rAnI ho merI / * *Ao !' jhilliyAM taka cupa ho giiN| zUnya gaharAtA calA gyaa| eka mAtra upasthiti meM, anya saba anupasthita ho gyaa| - eka dRSTA ke bhItara dravya kA zuddha pariNamana cala rahA hai| kucha dhruva hai : usI meM kucha udIyamAna hai, kucha vyatItamAna hai| nAma, rUpa, sambandha se atIta, kevala paryAyoM kA saMkramaNa / haThAt dvAra-pakSa meM gozAlaka kA aTTAhasa sunAI pdd'aa| grAmapati kA putra skanda krodha se garaja uThA : 'are yaha kauna pizAca hai, jisane hameM chalA hai !' tar3Atar3a lAta-ghUsoM kI mAra se gozAlaka ko gaTharI hote dekha rahA huuN| . . phira sannATA chA gyaa| sahasA hI apane pairoM meM A par3e gozAlaka kA Ata svara sunAI par3A : 'bhagavan, ye nara pizAca zUnyagRhoM meM A kara durAcAra karate haiM, to maiM inake pApoM ko khalI A~khoM dekhatA huuN| ApakA ziSya hU~, aura dRSTA hU~, so saba-kucha dekhUgA hii| Apa se to kucha kahane kI sAmarthya inameM nahIM / kintu mujha nirdoSa ko nirbala jAna kara, ye mujha para atyAcAra karate haiN| yaha kahA~ kA nyAya hai ? * * *aura Apa inakA varjana bhI nahIM karate aura merA rakSaNa bhI nahIM krte| phira maiM kisakI zaraNa lUM, bhante ?' 'kisI kI nhiiN|' 'to phira mujhe kauna bacAye ?' 'koI nhiiN|' 'to phira maiM kyA karU~ ?' 'apane ko dekha / * * * tU hI apanA saMrakSaka, tU hI apanI zaraNa / ' 'samajhA nahIM, bhagavan / ' 'vAcAla tItara ! * * "mauna ho jA, vatsa / ' anabUjha, nirAza gozAlaka rAta bhara bAhara kI patajhAroM meM svayam apane hI dvArA AkheTita vyAdha-sA, apane hatyAre kI khoja meM vikSipta bhaTakatA rahA /

Page #86
makti-mArga : sabakA apanA-apanA kumAra sanniveza ke campaka-ramaNIya udyAna meM eka zilAtala para upaviSTa huuN| zarada Rtu ke sunIla AkAza tale, zephAlI ke jharate phUloM ne saurabha se nahalA diyA hai| dopaharI ho AI hai / sundara bhUkha, merI U~galI ke izAre para cupakI lar3akIsI, sAmane baiThI mujhe Tukura-Tukura tAka rahI hai| 'bhante, madhyAnha ho gayA / bahuta bhUkha lagI hai| caliye nagara meM gocarI para cleN|' mujha se koI uttara na pAkara kSudhAtura gozAlaka bhikSATana ke liye gA~va meM calA gyaa| vaha kahIM bhI jAye, usakI caryA para merI A~kheM lagI rahatI haiM / samUcesaMsAra kA nATaka, usake vyaktitva meM eka bAragI dekhatA rahatA hU~ / mAnava astitva ke vaiSamya kI vaha eka khulI kitAba hai / avacetanA kI sArI sambhava graMthiyAM, usake vartanoM meM pratipala nagna aura nigraMtha hotI rahatI haiN| * * * kumAra grAma ke cauka meM gozAlaka ne dekhA ki kaI zramaNa vastra, kamalI, pAtrA, daNDa dhAraNa kiye bhikSATana kara rahe haiN| usakI jijJAsA vAcAla ho uThI : 'are tuma kauna ho, bhikkhuo ?' 'hama bhagavAn pArzvanAtha ke nirgratha ziSya haiM / ' 'ore mithyAvAdiyo, dhikkAra hai tumheM / tuma kaise nigraMtha ? duniyA bhara kA graMtha-parigraha to apane Upara lAde ghUma rahe ho / mahAzramaNa pArzva to digambara avadhUta vikhyAta haiM / tuma unake ziSya kaise ?' 'hama sthavira kalpI haiM / apane saMhanana ke anusAra vicarate haiN|' 'sthavira to sthAvara hote haiM, aura kalpI kalpaka hote haiN| para tuma to pUre jaMgama ho, jaMgI / tuma to Thosa bhojana kI khoja meM, ulaMga ghUma rahe ho / saMhanana to maiM karatA hU~, gatadina apanI hAni karatA hU~ * tapa ! samajhe kucha ?' pApitya zramaNoM ko usakI mUr3hatA aura vAcalatA para kicit ha~sI A gaI * * /

Page #87
77 'are pAkhaMDiyo, merA upahAsa karate ho ? tuma kaise nigraMtha, saccA nigraMtha to maiM huuN| koI gA~Tha mere mana meM nahIM, jaisA hU~, tumhAre sAmane hU~ / naMgA, bhUkhA, kAmI, lolupa, jo hU~, use chupAtA nhiiN| para tuma nigraMtha bane ghUmate ho, aura vastra-pAtroM meM apanI vAsanAoM ko chupAye vicarate ho / ' zramaNa use unmAdI samajha kara, cupacApa apanI rAha cala pdd'e| 'basa kalaI khula gaI na, to bhAga nikle| are suno, mahAzramaNa pArzva kA nigaMTha rUpa dekhanA cAhoge? to calo mere sAtha, aura mere guru ko dekho / ve bhItara-bAhara eka-se digambara haiM, asaMga haiM, apekSA rahita haiN| mauna haiM / jitendriya aura manojita haiM / mahInoM meM ekAdha bAra kisI bhavyAtmA ko kRtArtha karane ke liye, usakA AhAradAna grahaNa karate haiN|' _ 'jaisA tU, vaise tere guru ! koI guru vihIna, svacchandI, manamAnA liMga dhAraNa karane vAle dIkhate haiM tere guru ?' 'hA~, guru unakA koI nahIM / ve svayam hI apane guru haiM / anuyAyI jo hote haiM, ve pAkhaMDI ho hI jAte haiN| jaise tuma / mere guru ne isI liye mujhe apanA ziSya nahIM aMgIkArA / kahate haiM-apane ko dekha, apane ko jAna, terA guru tere bhItara baiThA hai| tere sivAya koI nahIM / samajhe kucha, mUryo !' zramaNoM ne sahaja ha~sa kara usakI upekSA kara dI aura cala diye / apamAna se jala kara kruddha kArpaTika kI taraha gozAle ne zApa diyA : 'mere guru kA tapa-teja satya ho, to jAo dambhiyo, tumhArA upAzraya jala kara bhasma ho jAye / usakA yaha vAtula rUpa dekha grAmavAsiyoM ne use dhakke mAra kara bAhara kara diyA / bhikSA se vaMcita, bhUkhA-pyAsA, rotA-kalapatA vaha druta pagoM se udyAna kI ora daur3A AyA / apanI vyathA mujha taka pahu~cAne ko vaha bahuta vyagra thaa| para mujhe vahA~ na pA kara, vaha bahuta vyAkula ho gayA / krodha se uttejita hokara caMkramaNa karatA, upAzraya ke jalane kI pratIkSA karane lagA / para na to maiM hI use milA, na upAzraya hI jalA * / agale dina jaba maiM campaka-ramaNIya udyAna meM lauTA, to dekhA ki nirAhAra, luMjapuMja vaha zilAtala para mAthA DhAle par3A thaa| sahasA hI Asana para mujhe upasthita pA kara vaha jaise jI utthaa| 'svAmI, bAra-bAra mujhe chor3a kara cale jAte ho| tumhAre dila meM koI dayA-mAyA bhI nahIM ?' ___ maiM cupa, mAtRka dRSTi se use tAkatA raha gayA / 'bhante, kala grAma meM maiMne pArzvanAtha ke kucha pAkhaMDI ziSyoM ko dekhA / AcUr3a parigraha se lade haiM, aura apane ko nigaMTha zramaNa kahate haiM / maiMne unake pAkhaMDoM kA pardA

Page #88
78 phAza kara diyA / ThIka kiyA na bhante ?' ' maiMne kucha nahIM kahA / merI A~kheM kSuradhAra dekha utthiiN| 'bhante, ve kyA nigaMThI haiM ?' 'nizcaya, nigraMtha vaha, jo savastra aura avastra se pare hai / nagna ho kara bhI koI nigraMtha nahIM bhI ho sakatA hai| aura savastra ho kara bhI koI nigraMtha ho sakatA hai|' mere cehare para usane jaise agni ke akSaroM meM likhA, yaha par3ha liyaa| 'bhante, ve ApakI nindA kara rahe the| kaha rahe the, hogA koI kuliMgI, svecchAcArI, terA vaha guru * * * ! pArzva ke ziSya aise pramAdI, ki arhat mahAvIra ko nahIM jAnate !' maiM cupa rhaa| apane Upara jharate zephAlI phUloM ko hAthoM meM jhelatA rahA / 'bhagavan, maiMne una arhat-nindakoM ko zApa diyA ki mere guru ke satya-teja se tumhArA upAzraya jala jAya * * * / para aba taka to jalA nahIM, prabhu ? kyA ApakA tapateja asatya siddha hogA loka meM ?' 'upAzraya nahIM jalA, para tU rAta aura dina jala rahA hai, saumya / kyoM AtmadAha karatA hai , vatsa ? arhat upAzraya meM bhI haiM, tere pAsa bhI haiN| apane ko dekha . . . dekha * * *dekha, saumya / ' gozAlaka zAnta hokara arhat ke Asana-prAnta meM hI zizuvat so gayA / madhya rAtri jhA~ya-jhaoNya kara rahI hai / kAyotsarga meM ekAeka maiM unmukha huaa| * * *udhara dekha rahA hU~, municandra sUri ko / upAzraya se dUra aTavI meM ve jinakalpa kI mahAtapazcaryA meM lIna, Atmajaya kI uccAti-ucca zreNiyoM para ArohaNa kara rahe haiM / isa grAma meM unhIM ke sacelaka ziSya bhikSATana karate haiN| samAdhistha municandra ke vastra sarpa-kaMcuka, vRkSa-chAla, athavA jIrNa patroM kI taraha ApoApa hI jhara par3e haiM / upAzraya kA svAmI kupanaya kumbhAra madirApAna meM unmatta ho, madhyarAtri meM, par3osa ke jaMgala meM bhaTaka rahA hai / usane vahA~ zilIbhUta zramaNa ko dharta cora samajha kara, unakA galA ghoMTa diyaa|shrmnn pratikriyAhIna, nivaira bhAva se apanI vedanA ko sahate rahe / akasmAta avadhijJAna se unakI AtmA jyotita ho utthii...| aura unhoMne saharSa prANa tyAga diye : __.. dUra para ulkA kI taraha prakAzamAna devazreNi AkAza meM vAhita diikhii| gozAlaka cakita romAMcita ho kara bola par3A / 'bhante, Apa ke satya-teja se upAzraya meM Aga laga gaI / jvAlAeM AkAza cUma rahI haiN|'

Page #89
'nibhrAnta ho, vatsa / upAzraya nahIM jalA / zramaNa municandra sUri kI tapaHpUta AtmA devaloka meM gamana kara rahI hai !' / 'to arhat mahAvIra kA tapateja mithyA siddha ho gayA, bhante ?' 'vaha satya siddha ho gayA / yaha vidyallekhA usakI sAkSI hai . . .!' gozAlaka ne antarikSa meM vAhita usa jyoti-zikhA ko praNAma kiyaa| gozAlaka ke cApalya aura kautUhala ko caina nhiiN| vaha daur3A-daur3A gayA aura upAzraya Tohane lgaa| pAsa jA kara dekhA, sugandhita jaloM kI divya vRSTi meM nahAyA upAzraya sunasAna par3A hai| eka parindA bhI vahAM nahIM phar3akA / bhItara jA kara usane dekhA, sUri ke ziSyAgaNa gaharo nidrA meM kharrATe khoMca rahe the / usane koharAma macA diyA : __ 'ore muMDo, ore pramAdI ziSyo, tuma kaise zramaNa ho? tumhAre guru svarga sidhAra gaye, aura tuma para jUM bhI nahIM reMgI ? dina meM gocarI karanA, aura rAta meM ajagara kI taraha so rahanA / kyA yahI tumhArI zramaNacaryA hai, SaNDo* * * ?' khalabhalA kara sAre zramaNa jAge, aura apane pramAda para unheM ghora pazcAtApa hone lgaa| vAnaravaMzI gozAlaka apanI saphalatA para harSa manAtA, mere pairoM meM A dubakA / astitva kI eka mauna, visphoTaka cItkAra / corAka grAma kI eka sImAvartI pahAr3I para Akara paira ruka gye| usI sthala para anAyAsa dhyAnastha ho gayA / mere samakakSa hI gozAlaka bhI dhyAnalIna ho rahA / aba vaha anusAriNI chAyA kI taraha hI merI hara caryA kA anukaraNa karane lagA hai| usakA mana to khAlI hai| usameM kucha ThaharatA nhiiN| so sahaja hI merA pratibimba ho rahatA hai| dekhatA hU~, sImAntaka pradeza hone se Ajakala yahA~ paracakra kA bhaya vyApta hai| koTTapAla apane ArakSakoM ko sAtha liye gazta lagAte rahate haiN| acAnaka kucha padacApeM, kucha phusaphusAhaTeM sunAI pdd'ii| 'are SaNDo, tuma kauna ho ?' unheM hamase koI uttara nahIM milA / bAra-bAra pUchane para bhI uttara nahIM milaa| unheM zaMkA huI : nizcaya hI ye koI paracakra ke guptacara haiN| koTTapAla kar3aka uThA : 'are bahare ho kyA ? jAna par3atA hai gUMge bhI ho ?' uttara kauna de . . . ? 'Thaharo, abhI tumhArI bahara aura gUMga donoM nikAle detA huuN| . .

Page #90
...... 'ArakSako, bA~dho inakI muzkeM, aura isa andhe kue~ meM DAla kara inakI marammata karo !' 80 Azcarya ki gozAlaka bhI mere sAtha akampa aura mauna hI rahA / ArakSakoM ne hama donoM ko Amane-sAmane jur3A kara rassiyoM se bA~dhA aura uchAla kara kue~ meM DAla diyA / * phira jaise pAnI bharane ko ghar3A jala meM pachAr3A jAtA hai, usI prakAra ve hama donoM ko usa andhe kue~ meM pachAr3ane lage / 'bolo duSTo, bolo, aba to apanA bheda kholo ! ' 1 phira bhI koI uttara nahIM milA / gozAlaka mAre bhaya ke mUka, mere vakSa meM gaTharI huA jA rahA hai| ve aura bhI prabalatA se hameM pUre kue~ meM ghumA ghumA kara pachAr3ane lage / kue~ kI dIvAroM ke tIkhe pattharoM se TakarA kara merI vajravRSabha haDDiyA~ tar3akatI sI anubhava huiiN| unake polAnoM ke aMdhakAra vidIrNa hone lage / unameM se anta timirAndha guphAoM kI sA~kaleM TUTane lgiiN| unameM jame janma-janmoM ke jAle kaTane lage / una jAloM ke TUTate hI eka karAla makar3I niHsahAya ho kara chinna-bhinna hotI diikhii| puMjIbhUta hiMsratA ke bhayAvaha jaMtu, trasta raktANuoM ke aNDoM meM se nikala kara kue~ kI andhatA meM reMgane lage / rassiyoM ke jhakajhorate AghAta, vedhaka pattharoM kI TakkareM, jitanI hI adhika ghAtaka hotI gaIM, tana-mana meM eka rezamIna rAhata aura zAnti kA anubhava hone lagA / tabhI gozAlaka kI graMthIbhUta cuppI kA mauna Akrandana mana hI mana sunA : 'are pramai, merA aMga-aMga, aNu-aNu tumhAre aMgAMgoM se biMdhA hai / tumhAre gAr3ha AliMgana meM DUbA hU~, taba bhI tuma merI rakSA nahIM karate ? dekho na, merA pora-pora chila gayA hai| haDDiyA~ TUTa gaIM haiM / lahUluhAna ho gayA huuN| phira bhI tumheM merI koI paravAha nahIM *?' kSaNa bhara vaha cupa rahA, phira ru~AsA ho kara bolA : 'hAya, para tuma to apanI bhI rakSA nahIM karate / khuda mAra khA rahe ho, mujhe bhI maravA rahe ho / kaise svAmI ho tuma ? aise asamartha ?' ekAeka rassiyA~ thama gaI pachAr3a ruka gii| kue~ ke dhAre para sahasA hI kisI nArI kA kaNTha-svara sunAyI par3A : 1 'koTTapAla, jo svarUpa tumane batAyA hai, vaha to vaizAlI ke devarSi rAjaputra kA hI hai / kyA tuma nahIM jAnate, ve carama tIrthaMkara mahAvIra haiM / abhI chadmastha avasthA meM haiM, so mauna hI rahate haiM / dAruNa tapa se, durdAnta karmacatroM kA bhedana karate vicara rahe haiM / '

Page #91
...ArakSakoM ne hameM bAhara nikAla kara, muzke khola khar3A kara diyA / do zveta vasanA sAdhviyA~ hamArI pradakSiNA kara, caraNAnata huIM : ___ hama somA aura jayantI, bhagavan / pArzva prabhu kI parivrAjikAe~ / utpala devajJa kI bahane haiM hama / ' 'dharma lAbha karo, deviyo !' ThIka mere hI anusaraNa meM gozAlaka ne bhI udbodhana meM donoM hAtha uThA diya / koTTapAla aura ArakSaka usake tale bhUsAt ho rahe / 'kSamA kareM, bhagavan, hama ajJAnI haiN| 'jJAna hI tumhArA eka mAtra svarUpa hai / apane ko pahacAno, saumya !' ...hama apanI rAha para Age bar3ha gaye / 'Azcarya vatsa, tU bhI Aja akhaNDa mauna rahA ? 'zrI guru kI kRpA se kucha bodha pAyA hai| kucha pAtra huA huuN| phira Apa jahA~ ho bhante, vahA~ merA koI aniSTa ho hI nahIM sktaa|' maiM kucha nahIM bolaa| pRSThacaMpA meM varSAyoMga samApita kara, kRtamaMgala nagara kI ora AyA hU~ / usakI eka vasatikA meM, strI-santAna vAle parigrahI sthavira rahate haiM / ve pitarapUjaka haiM, aura laukika pArivArika sukha meM hI mokSa kA anveSaNa karate haiN| unake pAr3e ke bIca eka bar3A devAlaya hai| usameM unake parAmparAgata kula-devatA kI pratimA pratiSThita hai / usa maMdira meM kaI khambhoM kI saraNiyA~ haiM / usI ke eka kone meM, koNa-stambha kI taraha niSkampa, kAyotsarga meM lIna ho gayA huuN| __ bAhara mAgha-pUsa kI tIkhI zIta havAeM cala rahI haiN| mandira meM AratI kA zavaghaMTA rava thama gayA / usake uparAnta usa rAta sthaviroM kA koI parvotsava Arambha ho gayA / nAnA grAma-vAdyoM kI tumula samaveta dhvaniyoM ke bIca, surApAna aura nRtya-gAna karate hue, ve sthavira nara-nArI jAgaraNa-bhajana karane lge| para puruSa aura paranArI kA bhAva inake manoM meM nahIM hai / manamAne yugala jor3a kara, hAthoM meM surApAna liye, aMgAMga jur3Aye AtmabhAna bhUla kara ve nAca rahe haiN| unakI kAma ceSTAe~ parAkASThA para pahuMca kara, nRtya-saMgIta ke sura-tAloM meM mUcchita ho jAtI haiN| cAhe jaba ve eka-dUsare se chUTa kara, naye yugala jor3a kara, phira krIr3AlIna ho jAte haiM / isa tallIna madana lIlA meM madana-parAjaya kA eka vicitra dRSya dekha

Page #92
82 rahA hU~ / puSpadhanvA ke bANa inakI Atma-vismRta dehoM para parAhata ho gaye haiM / loka meM manuSya nAnA bhAvoM ke mAdhyama se apane bhItara baiThe bhagavAna AtmA ko khoja rahe haiM / ekAeka kAmAkula gozAlaka cillA par3A : 'are o pAkhaMDiyo, devatA ke maMdira meM yaha kaisA ucchU khala anAcAra kara rahe ho ? apane ko sthavira kahate ho, aura dharma kI Ar3a meM ulaMga kAmAcaraNa karate ho / are pApAtmAo, dhikkAra hai tumheM, sau bAra dhikkAra hai / . . . utsava meM bhaMga par3ate dekha kara kucha yuvakoM ne gozAlaka ko dhakke dekara, maMdira se bAhara kara diyaa| dekha rahA hU~, vaha mUr3ha vahIM khar3A, zIta pavana ke jhakoroM meM, danta-vINA bajAtA huA, Arata A~khoM se nRtyotsava kA sukha bhoga rahA hai / so kucha vRddhoM ne usa para dayA kara, phira use andara le liyA / ThiThurA zarIra garma hote hI phira gozAlaka cIkhA : 'are uddaNDo, tumheM to lajjA nahIM / para maiM lajjA se marA jA rahA hU~ / maiM ThaharA nigraMtha zramaNa / para tumhAre svacchandAcAra se merA rakta bhI kAmAkula ho uThA hai / apanI isa nagna kAyA ko kahA~ chupAU~...! kaise nirgati pAU~ isa naraka se ? hAya, hAya, chi:chi:, asahya hai yaha pApAcAra / phaTa par3o pRthvI mAtA, aura mujhe apane garbha meM samAlo... merI rakSA karo, mA~ / ' 1 sthaviroM ne phira use ghUMse mAra-mAra kara bAhara Dhakela diyA / vaha pahale kI taraha hI phira mandira kI sIr3hiyoM para khar3A lubdha, lAlAyita A~khoM se nRtyotsava kA Ananda lUTane lagA / usakI danta - vINA kA AlApa prakharatara hotA huA, bhItara kI saMgItadhArA meM vyAghAta pahu~cAne lagA / taba kucha yuvatI striyoM ne usake Arta prANoM para dayA kara, use bhItara lA kara, eka kone meM biThA diyaa| kucha dera cupa raha kara vaha phira nAnA anargala pralApa karane lgaa| phira bAhara dhakela diyA gayA / tIna bAra kramazaH kopa aura kRpA kA bhAjana hokara bhI, use caina nahIM AyA / 'are vyabhicAriyo, satya kahatA hU~, to tuma mujha para kopa karate ho ! para kahe binA rahA nahIM jAtA / apane pApoM para kopa karo to tumhArA uddhAra ho jAye / maiM to spaSTa bhASI huuN| aura dekho, merI AtmA apane hI kAma para bhISaNa kopa kara rahI hai / ' kucha yuvakoM ne kruddha ho kara use ghera liyA / muTThiyA~ tAna kara ve usakA kuTTana karane ko tatpara hue / tabhI sahasA unheM dikhAI par3A, ki are yaha to koI nagna bhikSuka hai / itanA sundara, komala, chaunA-sA, phira bhI aisA DhITha, utpAtI ! aura Azcarya hai ki kuTAI-piTAI jhelane ko bhI nirIha bhAva se prastuta ho gayA hai / koI vikSipta avadhUta jAna par3atA hai /

Page #93
ki tabhI eka sundarI yuvatI cillA par3I : 'are idhara dekho, hAya-hAya, kona meM devatA prakaTa ho gaye haiM . . ! hamArA pUjotsava sArthaka ho gyaa|' eka aura AvAz2a : 'devatA ne hamArI pUjA se prasanna ho kara darzana de diye|' sabakI nigAheM AnandAzcarya se stabdha, kone meM dekha uThIM / eka vRddha ghUra. kara bolA : 'are ye to vaizAlI ke devAMzI zramaNa varddhamAna kumAra haiN| aura yaha AyuSyamAna inakA koI sevaka ziSya jAna par3atA hai . . . / ise kSamA kara do|' ___ gozAlaka trANa pAkara merI eka jaMghA ke sahAre A Dhulaka rahA / sAre naranArI jana bhUmisAt praNata hue| 'bhante, hamArI ArAdhanA kI yahI rIti hai / kula-paramparA se calI AI hai| bhagavAna kA koI aparAdha huA ho, to kSamA kreN|' 'anekAnta hai mukti mArga...!' mandira ke devAsana para se uttara dhvanita huaa| gumbada meM se pratidhvani huI 'so'ham ...so'ham . . .so'ham !' sthavira nara-nArI asamaMjasa meM stabdha ho rahe : are ye devArya bole, ki hamAre devatA bole ? mujhe nizcala, mauna dekha unake Azcarya kA pAra na thA / aura unake devatA to Aja taka bole nahIM kabhI / apUrva ghaTA hai kucha.. / 'nizcaya hI hamAre pitara devatA hamAre pUjA-nRtya se prIta hokara AMja zabdAyamAna hue haiN| hamArI pIr3hiyoM kI sAdhanA-ArAdhanA sArthaka ho gaI !' mana hI mana ve mudita -magana ho rahe / ___ uparAnta abUjha bhAva se hama donoM kI vandanA kara, sthavira jana cupacApa AviSTa se apane ghara ko lauTa gye| 'bhante, ina pAkhaMDI pApiyoM kI Apane bhartsanA bhI nahIM kii| merA unhoMne ghora apamAna kiyA, phira bhI Apane unheM kSamA kara diyA / akhaNDa brahmacArI ho kara, Apane ina vyabhicAriyoM kI kAmuka pUjA kA samarthana kiyA ?' 'inake mana meM vyabhicAra kA vikalpa nhiiN| vyabhicAra zabda hI inheM anajAnA hai| inakA kAma Atma-kAma hai / inakA lakSya Atma-ramaNa hai|...' 'Apa to vicitra haiM, svAmI !'

Page #94
84 'satya vicitra hI hai, vatsa / pApa na dekha, AtmA dekha / apamAna meM nahIM, svamAna meM raha / eka mAtra pApa hai, ajJAna / AlocanA auroM kI nahIM, apanI hI kara AyuSyamAn !' ... mandira kI dIvAreM bola rahI haiN| devArya to vaise hI cupa khar3e haiN| gozAlaka suna kara diGamUr3ha hai / ** vaha anutApa-vihvala ho AyA hai / A~sU jharatI A~khoM se vaha zrIguru-caraNoM meM dhyAnastha ho gayA /

Page #95
kevala AkAza, merA ceharA apane mastaka para udaya hote sUrya ke sAtha zrAvastI AyA hU~ / sudUra gaMgA ke taTa para khar3e ho kara, kosalendra prasenajita ke AkAzacuMbI rAjabhavanoM ko dekha rahA hai| unake zikhara aura burja kAMpa rahe haiN| unake tale eka sar3A huA rAjA, kezara-kastUrI se apane galitAMgoM ko sa~vAra rahA hai| nahIM, zrAvastI meM nahIM jaauuNgaa| abhI merI yAtrA sataha para nahIM, tahoM meM cala rahI hai| gaMgA ke pAniyoM meM dhaMsa kara, zrAvastI kI nIvoM ko jhkjhoruuNgaa| kosalendra kI prAsAda-mAlAoM ke pAye ddoleNge| * 'candrabhadrA zIlacandana, hatAza na hoo, maiM A gayA huuN| dekha rahA hU~, zrAvastI ke antaHpuroM meM , bhayAnaka cakravyUhoM ke bIca pha~sI tuma chaTapaTA rahI ho| para tumhAre AsapAsa ujjvala AtmAe~ bhI haiM / jo tumhArI hI taraha, yahA~ ke kuTila aMdhakAra kI kuMDaliyoM meM jakar3I haiN| mAlAkAra-putrI mahArAnI mllikaa| zAkyoM kI dAsI-putrI mahArAnI reNukA / prasenajita ke vilAsa-paryaMka meM ve zuliyoM-sI khaTaka rahI haiN| unake bIca tuma khar3I ho, akelii|* * * maiM Azvasta huuN| ye zUliyA~ eka dina tumhArA siMhAsana bneNgii| vaha dina dUra nahIM, jaba pitRghAtI dAsI-putra viDuDhaba kI varitA ho kara, tuma kozala kI paTTamahiSI ke Asana para unnIta hoogii| taba kozala ke loka-hRdaya para tumhArA rAjya sthApita hogaa| vahI hogA merA sAmrAjya / jinezvaroM kI zAsana-devI ho kara tuma pRthvI para clogii| . . * * * lubdhakoM kI martya aura paudagalika campA mara gii| acchA hI huaa| vaha usakI anivArya niyati thii| lekina arhatoM kI amarA campAnagarI kA tumhAre bhItara phira utthAna hogaa| tumhAre saundarya kI svayaM-prabhA meM uddIpta ho kara, vaha zAzvatI meM sarvakAla varddhamAna rahegI / tathAstu, zIlacandana * * *! 'caliye bhante, bhikSATana ko caleM, asAra saMsAra meM sArabhUta vastu eka bhojana hI to hai|' mujhe niruttara dekha kara, gozAlaka phira bolA :

Page #96
'mujhe to bhayAnaka bhUkha lagI hai, bhante / batAyeM svAmin , Aja mujhe kaisA AhAra milegA ?' 'naramAMsa * * * !' - mujhe mauna dekha kara vaha bar3abar3AyA : 'prabhu to bolate nahIM, yaha kauna pizAca bolA ? prabhu aisA kaise kaha sakate haiM ?' __'jahA~ mAMsa kI gandha taka nahIM ho, aisI hI bastI meM gocarI kruuNgaa| aura mithyA kara dUMgA yaha vacana / ' * * * dekha rahA hU~ : zrAvastI ke pitRdatta gRhapati kI bhAryA zrIbhadrA ke sadA mRtaka putra hI Ate haiN| zivadatta naimittika ne use parAmarza diyA hai, ki : 'isa bAra mRtaka putra Ane para, zrIbhadrA usake rudhira -mAMsa se dUdha, ghI, madhu ke sAtha khIra bnaaye| phira koI dhuli-dhUsarita pagoM vAlA, subhaga bhikSuka dvAra para A ye, to use usakA AhAra kraaye| aisA karane se Age vaha jIvita santAna hI jnegii| bhikSuka ke AhAra kara jAne para gRha kA mukha-dvAra cunavA kara, dUsarI dizA meM khulavA denaa| tAki patA lagane para vaha bhikSuka, lauTa kara tere gRha ko apanI kopAgni se bhasma na kara de / ' dekha rahA hU~ : Aja zrIbhadrA kI prasUti huI hai / nirdezAnusAra vaha yathAvidhi mRtaka zizu ke rudhira-mAMsa kI khIra banAkara dvArApekSaNa kara rahI hai|... gozAlaka ko dvAra para pA kara usake harSa kA pAra nahIM / usane umaga kara use pAyasAna kA AhAra kraayaa| parama tRpti anubhava karatA gozAlaka lauTa aayaa| 'bhante, ApakI kRpA se uttama pAyasAnna kA AhAra pAyA / pizAca kI vANI mithyA ho gii| bhante jayavanta hoM!' use sunAI par3A : 'are o lubdhaka, tere peTa meM nara-zizu ke avayavoM kA pAyasAnna par3A hai ! aura jo ghaTita huA hai, usakA sArA vRttAMta use sunAI pdd'aa| hAya-hAya, yaha kaisA anartha / usakI aMtar3iyA~ vidroha kara utthiiN| udvigna ho kara usane vamana kara diyaa| usameM use mRta zizu kI u~galiyA~, keza, nakha Adi dikhAI pdd'e| krodha se phuphakAratA vaha usa gahiNI ke ghara kI ora jhpttaa| usa sthAna para koI dvAra na dekha, vaha bahuta nirAza ho gyaa| AtmaglAni se Akranda karate hue usane zApa uccArita kiyA : __ 'vaha ghara jahA~ bhI ho, mere prabhu ke tapa-teja se jala kara rAkha ho jAye !' * * *ghara jalane kI pratIkSA meM vaha usI bastI meM vyAkula ho kara cakkara kATatA rahA / ghara to koI jalA nahIM, usake zarIra meM hI tIvra dAha jAga

Page #97
87 uThI / chaTapaTAtA huA vaha Akara mujha se bolA : 'kyA mere prabhu kA tapa-teja mithyA hai, jo merA vacana mithyA ho gayA par3atA hai niyati hI eka mAtra satya hai / aura sAre tapa- teja bhrAMti hai / ' 'niyati se bhI adhika zaktimAna hai yati, saMyati / vaha niyati ko bhI jaya kara sakatA hai, use mana cAhI mor3a sakatA hai / apane ko dekha, saumya, apane ko dekha ! 'maiM cala pdd'aa| anyamanaska gozAlaka bhI mere pIche-pIche calane lagA / haridu grAma ke parisara meM Akara haridra vRkSa ke nIce pratimA-yoga se dhyAnastha ho gayA hU~ / usI chatanAra vRkSa kI chAyA meM eka ora zrAvastI kI tarafa jA rahA koI bar3A sArtha utArA kiye hai / rAta meM zIta ke AghAtoM se bacane ke liye unhoMne vana-kASThoM kI bhArI agni prajjvalita kI thI / sabere uTha kara prasthAna kI utAvalI meM sArthavAha usa agni ko bujhAye binA hI cala diye / tabhI hemantI havA kI eka tez2a A~dhI uTha AI / samudra - garbha meM prasupta bar3avAnala kI taraha vaha agni bhabhaka uThI, aura bAr3ha kI taraha phaila kara usakI lapaTeM mere pairoM ko cUmane lgiiN| usa dAha ke samakSa maiMne apanI deha meM eka adbhuta sthiratA anubhava kI / gozAlaka kolAhala kara uThA : !' 'are prabhu, bhAgo, bhAgo yahA~ se, bhayaMkara agnikAMDa ne hameM ghera liyA hai kaha kara vaha kAka pakSI kI taraha vahA~ se palAyana kara gayA / para mere bhItara uTha rahI dhyAnAgni ne sAmane uTha rahe hutAzana kA AliMgana kiyaa| bhItara ke kitane hI kRtAnta karmacakroM ko maiMne usameM bhasmasAt hote dekhA / A~kheM khulIM to dekhA, ki mere donoM paira jhulasa kara kalauMche ho gaye haiM / maiM kSaNaika unakI usa paryAya ko vyatIta hote dekhatA rahA / ' sahasA hI pAyA ki vahA~ zramaNa ke paira nahIM rahe / ve Age jA cuke haiN| do kamala-koza tuSArapAta se kumhalAye hue vahA~ par3e haiM / AvarttagrAma ke baladeva mandira meM calA AyA hU~ / pUrvAhnika pUjA-bhoga samApita karake pujArI aura darzanArthI jA cuke haiN| jana-zUnya mandira ke devakakSa meM praveza kara, eka antarita kone meM khar3A ho gayA hU~ / manda dIpAloka meM deva-pratimA sajIvana ho AI / saumya muskAna ke sAtha haladhArI ne mAno' mujhe TokA 'sunatA hUM, yugandhara ho ! para tuma to kAyotsarga kI niSkriya mudrA meM sthirIbhUta ho / bAhara se muMha phera kara apane meM lavalIna ho / jina ho kara siddhAlaya meM hI jA baiThanA cAhate ho ? jana nAyaka ho kara janAlaya ke 'duHkhAndhakAra meM

Page #98
88 nahIM utaroge? tumhArA unnata maMdarAcala-sA kaMdhA dekha kara merA yugoM se niSkarma ho par3A hala calane ko udyata ho uThA hai / manuSyoM ke tana kI mATI jar3ita ho gaI hai| lo, unake zatiyoM se jar3IbhUta ho gaye rakta meM hala calAo * * !' ___maiM apalaka, cupacApa muskurAtA huA una bhadra puruSottama ko tAkatA rahA / aura merI cetanA antarlIna ho kara, digantoM taka phailI vasundharA ke baMjaroM meM vyApatI huI, unake nIrasa sUkhe garbhadezoM meM dhaMsatI calI gii| . . udhara gozAlaka kahIM se preta kA vIbhatsa rUpa dhAraNa kara, gA~va ke A~gana meM khela rahe bAlakoM ke bIca A kUdA hai| vipula lomaSa kAle bhAlU kI taraha hu~kAratA aura chalAMgeM mAratA vaha bAlakoM ko DarA rahA hai| mAre bhaya ke nirdoSa bacce cIkhate hue bedama bhAgane lge| badahavAsa ho kara ThokareM khA-khA kara girane lge| kisI kA sara phUTa gayA, kisI kI nAka kucala kara nathunoM se rakta bahane lagA, to kisI ke hoTa kaTa gye| bhayArta bAlakoM kI cIkheM suna kara, gA~va meM se unake mAM-bApa daur3a Aye / hUlkAra kara gozAlaka una para bhI lpkaa| unheM pahacAnane meM dera na lagI ki yaha koI duSTa bahurUpiyA hai / AtaMka jamAkara Ananda lUTane kA kotuka kara rahA hai| so kucha baliSTha puruSa usa para TUTa pdd'e| aura jama kara usakI kuTamapaMcamI karane lge| ghAyala kutte kI taraha gAliyA~ bhUkatA, gozAlaka piTAI kA Ananda bhI usI sama bhAva se lUTane lgaa| ___ tabhI mandira kI ora se daur3atA huA, eka vRddha pujArI hA~ka mAratA A phuNcaa| 'are ise mAra kara kyA milegA ? isakA nagna guru mandira ke devakakSa meM ghusA baiThA hai aura usI ke Adeza se to yaha upadrava macA rahA hai| cala kara usI kI khabara lo|' 'cora' - 'cora * * * cora' : pukArate kaI laThaita, mandira meM ghusa aaye| eka sAtha kaI lAThiyoM ke vAra mere mastaka para sannAne lage : maiM zilpIbhUta-sA utsagita ho rhaa| ThIka lAThiyAM mere tana para girane kI anI para, deva-pratimA meM se dhvanita huA : 'sAvadhAna !' aura devAsana se utara kara baladeva ne, apanA hala uThA kara una laThatoM para prahAra kiyA / anAyAsa prahArakoM para chA kara merI dakSiNa bhujA unake mAthoM para phaila gii| tANa pA kara kaI kaNTa eka sAtha pukAra uThe : 'vAhimAm devatA ! * * .' aura prahAra kI mudrA meM staMbhita raha gaye hala ko khIMcakara maiMne apane dAyeM kandhe para dhAraNa kara liyaa|

Page #99
'haladhArI kA Adeza loka meM sampanna ho !' devatA phira Asana para sthira ho muskurA diye / lokarava sunAI par3A : . . 'hamAre ArAdhya devatA Aja mAnava-tana meM prakaTa ho gye| pUrve aisA to kabhI huA nahIM / zatAbdiyoM meM kabhI sunA nahIM gayA ki yahA~ haladhArI balarAma svayam birAjamAna haiN| dhanya bhAga * dhnybhaag|' 'jaya baladevA, jaya haladhArI ! . . . * * harSAvega meM bebhAna gAte-nAcate hue ve sAre lokajana zramaNa kI AratI utArane lge| mujhe kiMcit kautUhala kI ha~sI A gaI : 'are manuSyo, kaba taka yoM devatAoM kA sahArA lete phiroge? apane bhItara baiThe devatA ko nahIM pahacAnoge ? maiM vahI to hU~...!' lekina pUjA-pravAha kA anta nahIM hai| apane bAlakoM ke hatyAre gozAlaka ko bhI baladeva kA sevaka svIkAra kara liyA unhoMne / * * 'are hamAre pApoM se hameM DarAne ko bhagavAna ne apanA bher3iyA hamAre bAlakoM para chor3a diyA thA !' so devatA ke sAtha unakA daNDadhArI bher3iyA bhI pujane lgaa| lagA ki avikalpa zraddhA kI isa mATI meM to merA hala gaharI se gaharI bhUmi kATa sakegA! * * * corAka grAma ke jambUvana tale akAraNa hI caMkramaNa kara rahA huuN| dekhanA cAhatA hU~, calate samaya mere paira kahA~ par3ate haiM / bhUtala para reMgate aneka sUkSma jIvoM ke AvAgamana meM dRSTi rammANa ho gaI / lagA ki videha huA jA rahA huuN| paira mere dharatI para par3a hI nahIM rhe| nitAnta cetanA-pravAha ho kara, una asaMkhyAt jIvoM kI kiMcit dehoM meM saMcarita hU~ ! * * *isa sukha kA pAra nahIM / gozAle ko sadA bhakha lagI rahatI hai| aura vaha prAyaH gocarI para hI hotA hai / yahA~ bhI vaha anna kI khoja meM gayA hai / dekha rahA hU~ : eka amarAI tale kucha grAma-yuvakoM ne goTha kA Ayojana kiyA hai| dAla, bATI, cUrame ke vanabhojana kA pAka ho rahA hai| pAMtare ke tAz2A ghI kI sugandha se vanabhUmi mahaka uThI hai / bhojana-rasa-lubdha gozAlaka kisI Amra vRkSa ke tane kI oTa chupa kara gahare bhojana-dhyAna meM lavalIna hai| Tukura-Tukura tAka rahA hai ki kava bhojana taiyAra ho, aura kaba vaha jA kara bhikSA ke liye kara-pAna pasAra de / ___ isa gA~va meM Ajakala coroM kA bhaya vyApta hai / so eka caukasI para baiThe yuvaka ne gozAle ko chupe hue dekha liyaa| 'cora' - 'cora' cillAtA huA vaha usa para jhapaTA / sAtha hI aura loga bhI jhapaTa pdd'e| 'are yaha to nirA bholA-bhAlA naMgA chokar3A hai| isakI kyA bisAta ki corI kre| kisI cora kA cara jAna par3atA hai|'

Page #100
90 so kisI ne use dhamakA kara pUchA : 'saca-saca batAnA re, kahA~ hai terA svAmI, vaha coroM kA zrI pUjya ?' gozAle kI jAna meM jAna AyI / usane socA : 'mere svAmI kA pratApa dekha kara, ye zaraNAgata ho jAyeMge / aura mujhe madhu-golaka kI bhikSA sahaja hI sulabha ho jAyegI / ' so vaha una goThiyoM ko jambUvana meM le AyA / dUra se mujhe Tahalate dekha kara, ve harSa manAne lge| pakar3AI meM A gayA Aja coroM kA saradAra / aura ve eka sAtha cItkAra kara, mujhe mArane daur3e / unake tar3Atar3a par3ate lAta-ghUMsoM ke nIce maiM vasundharA-yoga meM gahare se gahare utaratA calA gayA / itanA stabdha aura vajrIbhUta ho gayA merA zarIra ki unake coTeM karate hAthoM ko coMTa lagane lgii| ve apane ghAyala hAthoM ko sahalAte, merI ora ekaTaka dekhate raha gaye / sahasA hI unheM anubhava huA ki unake aMgAMgoM meM caMdana kA lepa ho gayA hai / 'are ye to koI arhat jAna par3ate haiM ! aura ve saba bhUmiSTha praNAma kara, mana hI mana anutApa - vigalita ho kSamA yAcanA karane lage / , 'apane hI ko kSamA karo, bhavyo, apanA aparAdhI apane sivAya aura koI nahIM / ' aura maiM apanI rAha bar3ha gayA / gozAlaka ko pIche peTa bhara cUrame kA madhurAna prApta huA / tRpti ke Ananda se kilakArI karatA, vaha mere pIche daur3A A rahA hai / kalaMbuka grAma kI ora vihAra kara rahA hU~ / sAmane se vahA~ kA zailapAlaka kAlahasti eka sainya kI Tukar3I lekara coroM ke pIche bhAga rahA hai| hama para zaMkita ho kara usane pUchA : 'tuma kauna ho ?' maiMne uttara nahIM diyA / gozAlA bhI kautuka vaza sayAne vAnara kI taraha mauna rahA / AvAz2a phira kar3akI : Jain Educationa International 'saca batAo, tuma kauna ho ?' vanabhUmi meM uttara gUMjA : 'koI nahIM ' !' hasti cakita ho gayA / ye taskara to gU~ge-se khar3e haiM, aura jaMgala javAba de rahA hai / jAna par3atA hai, koI jAdUgara cora haiM / khuda cupa rahate haiM aura per3oM se uttara dilavAte haiM / ye to ora bhI khataranAqa haiM / For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #101
91 'sainiko, bA~dhoM inakI muzkeM, aura le calo gAMva meN| mAra khA kara hI ye bhUta boleNge|' sainika hama donoM ko eka hI muMja kI rassI se kasa kara bA~dhane lage / maiM apratiruddha bhAva se laharA kara cupacApa ba~dhatA calA gayA / gozAlaka mujhase cipaTa kara karAhane lgaa| maiMne use tAka kara cupa kara diyA / - 'sainika hamAre rajju-baddha zarIroM ko kandhoM para lAda kara, grAma meM lAye / kAlahasti ne lakar3I ke bhAre kI taraha, hameM lA kara apane bhAI megha ke samakSa paTakavA diyA / ..'are megha ye indrajAlI cora haiM / apanI mAyA se jaMgala jagAte haiM / okhale ke mUsala se kuTa kara hI ye apanA bheda batAyeMge / ye bar3e DhITha jAna par3ate haiN| kachuvoM kI moTI khAla kUTane para hI bolegii|' A~gana meM eka bar3A sArA patthara kA okhalA gar3A huA hai| hameM muzarke khola kara khar3A kara diyA gayA / phira megha garajA : _ 'are duSTo, tAkate kyA ho, okhala tumhAre sara kI pratIkSA meM hai / DAlo isameM apane-apane mAthe !' __ aura maiMne okhala meM sira gar3A kara apane zarIra ko uttAna adhara meM ThaharA diyaa| gozAlA tharatharAte aMgoM, dhamanI kA mRdaMga bajAtA huA, bhAga chUTane kA upakrama karane lgaa| kAlahasti ne use Dhakela kara, usakA bhI sira mere sAtha okhala meM de diyA / 'calAo mUsala!' megha ne kar3aka kara sainikoM ko Adeza diyA / gozAlA bilakha kara cillAyA : 'svAmI * * * I I I I !' 'are mUrkha, okhale meM sara de diyA / aba mUsala se kyA DaranA?' do lokhaNDI mUsala havA meM tulane lge| : 'agale hI kSaNa eka huMkAra ke sAtha hama para mUsaloM ke prahAra hone lge| - are yaha kyA, mUsaloM ke AghAta mAnoM havA ko khAMr3a rahe haiM / okhala meM par3e Thosa mastakoM para ve nahIM TakarA rahe / havA ko khAMr3ate-khAMr3ate sainikoM ko pasIne A gaye / mUsala dharatI para Teka kara ve hA~phate khar3e raha gaye / kAlahasti ne lalakArA : 'are inake mAthoM ko khA~Do sainiko, havA ko kyoM kaSTa de rahe ho?' 'svAmI, ina jAdUgaroM ne havA ko bA~dha diyA hai| mUsala ina para coTa nahIM krte| hama kyA kareM !' sunakara saba cakita-stambhita ho rahe / kAlahastI ne phira garjanA kI : 'uTho maradoM, tumhArA bhUta utAranA hogA / * sainika, bulAo khecara tAMtrika ko!'

Page #102
sahasA hI maiMne apane ko daNDAyAmAna dekhA / 'tAMtrika anAvazyaka hai| * * !' mere oThoM se phUTA / aura maiMne sainika ke hAtha se mUsala lekara apane hI mastaka para vAra kiyA / .bIca meM megha ne hAtha phailA kara use jhAla liyaa| 'kSamA kareM, devArya varddhamAna kumAra ! Apake sivAya yaha kisakI sAmarthya ho sakatI hai ? * * vaizAlI ke devarSi rAjaputra ke pratApa ko pahacAnane meM dera ho gii| .. maiM megha, Apake pitA siddhArtharAja kA cira kiMkara / AryAvarta ke sUrya ko praNAma karatA hU~: * * !' aura kaI mastaka sAmane jhuke dIkhe / / 'kalyANamastu ! . . .' kahakara yAtrika apane paMtha para ArUr3ha ho gyaa| 'vaizAlI kA devarSi rAjaputra ?' . . 'isa TIke ko apane bhAla para dhAraNa kara kaba taka calUMgA ? nizcinha AkAza ke sivAya aura koI zarIra mujhe svIkArya nahIM / eka mAtra vaha antima zarIra, jisameM se sAre zarIra prakaTa hote haiN| jo akhila kA zarIra hai| ___yahA~ to sabhI mujhe pahacAna lete haiM / vaizAlI kA rAjaputra mere asalI aura AkhirI cehare kA avaguNThana banA huA hai| isa AvaraNa ko chinna karanA hogaa| isa AryoM kI bhUmi meM zramaNa ke tapa-teja se bhI loga prabhAvita aura namita hote haiN| yaha tapolakSmI bhI mAyA kI eka sAtvika cAdara hI lagatI hai / tamoguNa aura rajoguNa se bhI yaha satoguNa kA AvaraNa adhika bhrAmaka aura khataranAka hai / puNyaprabhA kA chala tor3anA hI to sabase adhika duSkara hai| ahaMkAra aura mamakAra kA vahI sabase adhika durbheda aura mAyAvI durga hai / trividha karma-mala ko kATane ke liye sata, raja, tama ke isa trikoNa ko bhI bhedanA hI hogA / sahI pahacAna eka hI ho sakatI hai : antartama svarUpa kI pahacAna / merA yaha ceharA usa sva-rUpa kI ArasI jaba taka na bana jAye, taba taka isakI hara anya pahacAna ko asvIkAra karatA hai| apane tapa-teja ke sAtvika prabhA-maMDala kA yaha prajA-vandana svIkAranA, puNya kI suvarNa sA~kaloM ko samarpita honA hai / ___ apane hI bhItara, apanI sampUrNa pahacAna se abhI maiM bahuta dUra hU~ / Aja dhyAna meM antazcetanA ke aura bhI gahiratara paTaloM kA sahasA hI anAvaraNa huA / eka mUlagAmI dhakke ke sAtha, jaise koI mahA purAtana Adima caTTAna ttuuttii| koI virATa khandaka khula pdd'ii| usake atala meM andhakAra kA eka sImAhIna registAna phailA hai / a~dhiyAre kI rAzikRta bAla kA-raja ke prAntara parta para parta kI taraha, dRSTi ke pAra taka phaile haiN| karma-vargaNAoM ke duvindhya pahAr3a cAroM ora ghaTATopa ghire

Page #103
haiM / anAdikAlIna kaSAyoM ke tamasAraNya unake DhAloM ko pATe hue haiN| unakI agamya gopanatAoM meM ahaM-vAsanA ke jAne kauna durmatta vyAghra huMkAra rahe haiM / vRkSa ke bhItara bezumAra vRkSa haiM, eka zAkhA meM ananta zAkhAe~ phUTa rahI haiM / ina jhAr3IjhaMkhADoM aura zAkhA-jAloM meM bAra-bAra apanA antara-sUrya jhAMka kara kho jAtA hai| karma ke ina apAra parvAtAraNyoM ko bhede binA virAma nhiiN| merI isa deha meM hI isake mUla par3e haiN| merI haDDiyoM, aura mere snAyu-jAloM meM hI inake zAkhAjAla vistRta haiN| aba taka jo AghAta isa zarIra para hue haiM, ve kAphI nhiiN| - 'pracaNDa se pracaNDatara hote AghAtoM ke binA, Adima tamasa kA yaha loka dhvasta nahIM ho skegaa| saMsAra meM bhramaNa karate jIvoM kI tamAma ekatrita hiMsA kI ekAgra coTa ke binA, pUrNa cinmati kA akhaNDa dIpaka nahIM ujala skegaa| ___.. 'UparI pahacAna ke isa sAtvika AryAvarta meM vaha coTa sambhava nhii| use pAne ke liye anAryoM aura mlecchoM ke pahacAnahIna deza meM jAnA hogA / vahA~, jahAM majhe koI pahacAna na sake / jahA~ manuSya aura manuSya ke bIca kI pahacAna kho gaI hai| aparicaya kI ghanaghora tamisrA meM jahA~ AtmAe~ nirantara apanA hI pIr3ana aura ghAta karatI vicara rahI haiM / jahA~ cehare cInhe nahIM jA sakate / mukhamaNDalahIna, beceharA, chinnamastoM ke jhuMDa jahA~ cAroM ora ghUNicakra kI taraha bhaTaka rahe haiN| ___ are kauna praveza karegA unakI Arta-raudra cetanA ke hiMsaka aMdhakAroM meM ? kauna unakI avacetanA meM ciMghAr3ate bher3iye ke karAla jabar3e meM kUdegA ? * * * unheM tumhArI pratIkSA hai vartamAna ! * * *

Page #104
nara-bhakSiyoM ke deza meM anAryoM ke lATadeza kI deharI para paira rakhate hI pIche se kisI ne TokA : 'isa pradeza meM na jAe~, Arya / yaha narabhakSiyoM kI bhUmi hai| bhUle-bhaTake koI Arya kabhI isa deza meM calA gayA, to vaha lauTa kara nahIM AyA !' 'isI se to vahA~ jAnA hai| . . !' 'anurodha suneM, bhante, Apa una logoM ko nahIM jAnate / ' 'jAnatA huuN| isI se to jAnA anivArya ho gayA hai !' mur3a kara nahIM dekhA, aura lambe-lambe Daga bharatA huA usa patha-rekhAhIna jaMgala meM rAha kATane lgaa| * 'chAyA kI taraha anusaraNa karatA gozAlaka cihukA : 'Aha, kAMTe haiM ki tIra haiM ! aura ye nukIle patthara' * pairoM meM bhAle gar3a rahe haiM, bhante. !' maiMne koI uttara nahIM diyA / gati kSipratara hotI jA rahI hai| apane hI rakta me jo patha-rekhA banatI jA rahI hai, vaha acUka hai / gantavya ko vahI ThIka-ThIka pahacAnatI hai / grISma kI prakhara dopaharI meM lU ke jhakore prakharatara hote jA rahe haiM / aDAbIr3a jaMgala pAra kara khule maidAna meM pahuMcate hI bhUkate hue kuttoM ke kaI jhuMDoM ne agavAnI kii| donoM hAthoM se unakA svAgata karate hue, nizcinta pagoM se unake bhUkate maMDaloM ke bIca sahaja hI yAtrA ho rahI hai / yAtrI ke isa apanApe se ve anabhyasta the| unakI bhaMkeM kautUhalI aura mitra hotI aaiiN| mAnoM ki ve bole : 'acche pathika, kahA~ se Aye ho, kahA~ jAoge? * * *aura yahAM Ane kI bhUla tumane kyoM kI hai? * . .' unake bhaMkane meM kAtaratA A gaI hai| maiMne unake bar3e-bar3e DIla-DauloM ke jhabare bAloM ko sahalA diyaa| merI piMDaliyoM se rabhasa karate ve calane lage / gozAlaka bhI unheM sahalAtA huA, Azvasta bhAva se anusaraNa karane lgaa| kar3e bAloM kA eka vastra kamara para pahane koI kAkabhupuMDI zramaNa daNDa dhAraNa kiye sAmane Aye : ___ he sukumAra yogI, kyA marane Aye ho yahA~ ? lauTa jAo turanta / AtatAiyoM ke Dere meM kyA lene Aye ho ?'

Page #105
'kucha nahIM : 'saba kuch|' 'mauta bhI?' 'kevala jIvana / ' 'mauta ke jabar3e meM * * * ?' 'ho. * vahI to jIvana hai / ' 'mara kara * * ?' 'jIte jii|' maiM beroka cupa-cApa bar3hA jA rahA huuN| uttara merI Age jAtI pITha se lauTa rahe haiM / zramaNa tAkatA hI raha gyaa| . . 'lAr3ha, vajabhUmi, zubhra bhUmi meM, kramazaH vihAra kara rahA huuN| kAle, jAmunI yA tAMbiyA varNa ke ardha-nagna nara-nArI bana-mAnuSoM kI taraha bhayaMkara aura khaMkhvAra A~khoM vAle haiN| jaMgalI jAnavaroM kI taraha mAMdoM meM rahate haiN| yA phira caTTAnoM meM gaphAeM tarAza kara, yA zA~kharoM ke jhopar3oM meM / inake bIca mAnoM bhakSaNa aura yaunAcAra ke sivAya aura koI sambandha nhiiN| cAhe jaba koI balavAna kisI nirbala ko AhAra banA sakatA hai / anna-vanaspati sulabha hone para bhI jighAMsA vaza eka dUsare ko mAra kara mAnuSa-mAMsa ke bhojana aura raktapAna kA utsava karate haiM / akAraNa hI eka-dUsare ko trAsa denA inakA priya manoraMjana hai| eka-dUsare ko phAr3a khAnA hI inake mana sabase bar3A parAkrama hai / jahA~ bhI jAtA hU~, mere zarIra ko ve bar3I cakita, mugdha, lolupa A~khoM se ghUrate haiN| phirarIchoM jaise bar3e-bar3e kutte ve hama para chor3a dete haiN| unakI tIkhI bhaMkoM se 'mAthA tar3akatA hai| acAnaka kahIM se Akara ve piMDaliyA~ noca lete haiN| jAMghoM aura nitamboM meM apane har3ake dA~ta gar3A dete haiM / khUna ke phaMvvAroM ke sAtha mAMkha-khaNDa gira par3ate haiN| kilakAriyA~ karate kaI strI-puruSa aura bacce usa mAMsa para jhapaTate haiM / Arya ke mAMsa-bhojana kI spardhA meM unake bIca mArA-mArI bhI ho jAtI hai| * *unakI lAlasAkulatA ko dekha calate-calate aTaka jAtA hai| merI A~kheM unase anurodha karatI haiM : kyoM lar3ate ho, kyoM akulAte ho, Atman ! yaha zarIra tumhAre hI liye hai| kama nahIM par3egA kabhI isakA mAMsa / lo, khar3A hU~. - 'jI cAhA mujhe samUcA lo / ' ve cakarAye, cupa tAkate raha jAte haiM / unakI raktAkta phAr3a khAtI A~khoM meM kaisA bholApana jhAMkatA hai| ve mujhase pUchate haiM : 'o ajanavI tuma kauna ho? aisA Arya puruSa to pahale hamane dekhA nahIM !' . . ' merI nagnatA unheM bahuta priya lagatI hai| usake kAraNa ve mujhe apane bahuta nikaTa anubhava karate haiN| * * * kautUhalavaza merA zarIra cha kara dekhate haiN| u~galiyoM se merI cummI le kara kilakArI karate bhAga jAte haiN|

Page #106
naMge pahAr3oM-se puruSa / naMgI dharatI-sI nAriyA~ / per3a-paudhoM jaise bcce| vizuddha icchAjIvI haiN| umaMgoM aura AvegoM para hI jIte haiN| hiMsA unakA hara kSaNa kA khela hai| ve nahIM jAnate, ki ve kyA kara rahe haiM / gozAle ko ve uThA kara cakarI yA laTTa kI taraha ghamA dete haiN| khela-kautUhala meM usakI khUba marammata karate haiN| vaha isa samarpaNa se zAkAnna pA jAtA hai| unakI mAMsa-bhakSitA para vaha dhikkAra vANI bolatA hai / ve usake ucca udghoSoM ko apanA abhinaMdana mAna kara, use manacAhe annapAna se tRpta rakhate haiN| mujhe bhI phalamUla lA kara bheMTa karate haiM / maiM muskurA detA hU~ / ve samajhate haiM, maiMne AhAra kara liyaa| lAr3ha pradeza se vihAra karane ke dina, eka chatanAra babUla vRkSa tale pUjita par3I zilA para dhyAnArUr3ha ho gyaa| "sahasA hI dala bA~dha kara nara-nArI cAroM ora ghUmara nAcate dikhAI par3e / jhA~jharoM kI jhamaka, khaMjar3I kI khanaka, turahI kI tAna, DholoM kI dhamaka / sArA jaMgala gUMja rahA hai / nadI, parvata, jalAzaya unake sAtha ekatAna nAca aura gA rahe haiM / unake bhole bhAvika Adima hRdayoM ko bharosA ho gayA hai, ki sadiyoM se pUjita isa patthara kA devatA Aja prakaTa ho gayA hai| * vajrabhUmi meM praveza karate hI jaMgalI sA~r3ha hama para chor3e gaye / DakArate hue car3ha Ate haiM ve prANi, sIMgoM se bhiTTI mAra kara hameM uchAla dete haiM / aura kaI ekatrita sIMgoM kI zaiyA para hama jhela liye jAte haiN| bIca-bIca meM gozAlaka kI cIkha sunAI par3a jAtI hai| phira vaha mere anukaraNa meM cupa ho rahatA hai, aura dhIra bhAva se ina AghAtoM ko sahatA hai / tIkhe sIMgoM ke vedha se zarIra meM jagaha-jagaha gaDDhe par3a jAte haiN| rakta-mAMsa nikala Ate haiN| * * * utsagita hokara sahate hI banatA hai / lagatA hai, jaise sAre zarIra meM se kaI rAheM khula rahI haiN| kitanA sArA AkAza bhItara A gayA hai / hA~phate hue sAMr3ha hAre-thake khar3e, cupacApa tAka rahe haiM / unakI A~khoM ke koyoM meM jala-bindu camaka rahe haiN| __ * * 'suDola, jAmunI paThThoM vAle nara-nArI kAnA-phUsI kara rahe haiM : 'kaisA ujalA aura mulAyama makkhana sA hai isa Arya kA mAMsa * * ! are, isake ghAvoM meM se rakta nahIM, dUdha jhara rahA hai|' ve bahuta utkaMThita ho gaye haiN| ve pyAra bhI coTa de kara hI karate haiN| unake svabhAva kI vivazatA ko samajha rahA hU~ / itanI coTeM eka sAtha huIM, ki sArA zarIra hI cUracUra ho gayA / pIr3A ho to kise ho ? 'are kitanI madhura haiM, isa Arya kI boTiyAM ?'. 'khAo priya, tumhAre hI liye haiM, merI sArI bottiyaaN|' 'are kitanA acchA hai yaha Arya / yaha to mIThe phaloM se ladA vRkSa hai / Ao isakI chAyA meM virameM aura phala tor3a kara khaayeN|' una sundara kAlI mAMoM ne apane unnata nagna stanoM se zramaNa ke ghAvoM ko cApa liyA / aisA bharapUra umar3a AyA unakA mAtRtva ki ve ro aaiiN| ronA to unheM

Page #107
anajAnA thA / apane A~suoM ko dekha kara ve cakita aura AlhAdita haiN| unameM apane puruSoM aura baccoM ke prati aisA pyAra umaga AyA, jaisA pahale kabhI unhoMne anubhava nahIM kiyA thaa| mere ghAvoM meM eka sAtha kitane-kitane hRdaya kasaka uThe haiM / zAMti aura sukha kA yaha AsvAda apUrva hai| ___.. 'zubhra bhUmi meM nyagrodha ke kisI chatanAra vana tale eka vizAla cabUtarA dekhaa| vaha ina Adima jaMgaliyoM kA bali-caurA hai| koI Arya bhUlA-bhaTakA A jAye, unake deza meM, to usakI sundara kAyA ko ve yahA~ apane parokSa devatA kI bali car3hAte haiN| cabUtare kI zAMti meM eka adbhuta AvAhana hai : ' . 'Ao Arya, maiM kaba se tumhArI pratIkSA meM huuN|' nyagrodha ke zAkhA-pallavoM ne maramarA kara hAmI bhrii| * * * maiM cabUtare ke ThIka kendra meM jA kara pratimA-yoga se dhyAnastha ho gayA / gozAlA bhI merI pITha pIche saTa kara, surakSA kI khola meM dhyAnalIna hone kI ceSTA karane lagA / ___ * * "sAre gA~va meM nakkAr3A pITa kara ghoSaNA huI : 'bali caure para bali-puruSa svayam hI A baiThA hai / hamArI bhUmi kA bhAga khula gayA / bali-yajJa kI taiyArI karo* * * !' sA~jha DUbate na DUbate saikar3oM mazAloM ke sAtha dala ke dala bA~dha kara nara-nArI, AbAlavRddha-vanitA, ghora kolAhala ke sAtha cabUtare ke cAroM ora ghUmara dete dikhAI pdd'e| bali-puruSa ke cAroM ora Aga jalA dI gaI hai| lapaToM ke maNDala meM vaha nizcala avasthita hai| nAcate hue siMdUra-carcita kRSNa badana karAla bhairava-bhairaviyoM jaise ve strI-puruSa, una lapaToM meM apane bhAle aura ballama tapAte jAte haiM, aura jvAlAkendra meM baiThe hue Arya kI deha meM cubhote jAte haiM / bali-puruSa to caM bhI nahIM krtaa| lo, usakI ora se ve svayam hI usake dAhaka vedhana kI vedanA ko apanI hI cIkhoM aura karAhoM se vyakta karate jAte haiM / isa Arya kI cuppI jitanI hI gaharA rahI hai, isakI akriyatA jitanI hI prakhara ho rahI hai, una bali-karmiyoM ke hajAroM barasoM se ruddha hRdaya adhikAdhika samvedita hote jA rahe haiN| .. ekAeka unhone dekhA, AsapAsa kA vaha lapaToM kA gherA jAne kahA~ antardhAna ho gayA / svayam bali-puruSa ke zarIra se hI eka vahni-maNDala phUTa AyA hai| usakA zarIra hI mAnI nIla-lohita jvAlAoM kA ho gayA hai| para kaise komala, madhura, zItala haiM usakI deha ke ye agni-sphuliNg| phUloM kI taraha ve unheM mAnoM tor3a kara unase apane aMgoM kA zRMgAra kara rahe haiM / phaloM kI taraha unheM hAthoM meM jhela kara, ve bar3e cAva se khA rahe haiM / somala vRkSa kI pattiyoM kI tAz2I harI surA pIte aura nAca-gAna karate ve yajJa-puruSa kI ora tejI se jhapaTa rahe haiM / ve vyakti na raha kara eka puMjIbhUta prANa

Page #108
zakti bana kara maNDalA rahe haiM / aura dala ke dala ve una agni-zikhAoM para TUTa rahe haiM / aura unake pAda-prAnta meM Dhera ho rahe haiM / . . jAne kaba* * * mazAleM haThAt gula ho gyiiN| eka stabdha, aphATa sannATe meM anagina sA~seM Apasa meM gutthama-gutthA ho rahI haiN| * * * aura phira eka gahana suSupti kA samAdhIta prasAra, aura usameM jaMgala yakasA bola rahA hai / * * * sabere jaba vaha Adima loka-samUha jAgA, to dekhA ki bali-puruSa vahA~ kahIM nahIM thaa| unhoMne anubhava kiyA ki vaha unake bhItara udarastha ho kara unakI rakta-zirAoM meM AtmasAt ho gayA hai / bali-yajJa kA aisA madhuparka to unhoMne pahale kabhI cakhA nahIM thA / apUrva hai yaha svAda, aura yaha tRpti / isa bhojana kA anta nahIM ! . . . __. 'Arya deza kI ora lauTate hue, pUrNakalaza grAma kI taTinI se vihAra kara rahA huuN| dekha rahA hU~, sAmane se ye jo do jana A rahe haiM, cora haiN| lAr3ha deza kI anArya bhUmi kI ora tejI se bar3ha rahe haiM / ThIka pUrNakalaza kI bhAgala para maiM unheM sAmane se AtA dikhAI par3A / gozAlaka bhA~pa kara mere pichavAr3e gupa-cupa mujha se ekameka ho rahA / maiM akelA huuN| 'oha apazakuna' * * naMgA !' 'jahA~ jA rahe ho, vaha bhI naMgoM kA hI deza hai| unakA kyA lUToge ?' 'cupa' 'luccA kahIM kA / ' 'unake pAsa jo thA, vaha to maiM lUTa lAyA / ' 'are yaha bhI koI taskara jAna par3atA hai| . .' 'luTerA hU~, lekina pahale svayam luTatA hU~, phira auroM ko lUTatA huuN| aisA ki kucha chor3atA nhiiN|' _ 'are yaha to kucha bolatA nahIM ! phira javAba kauna de rahA hai ? jAna par3atA hai, maMtravAdI cora hai|' 'z2arUra kahIM gaharA khajAnA gar3A hai isake pAsa / ' 'o mAyAvI, batA kahA~ gar3A hai terA qhaz2AnA ?' 'merI nAbhi meM ! . . .' 'yoM nahIM batAyegA yaha / isakI nAbhi phaTegI, tabhI yaha bolegaa|'

Page #109
aura cItkAra kara, ve apanI katikA uThAye merI nAbhi meM bhoMkane ko bddh'e| * * ki tabhI havA meM eka bijalI kar3akI / usameM se vajrAstra nikala kara una do mAnuSoM ke mastaka para tdd'kaa| 'nahIM indra, ye isa yogya nahIM / ajJAnI para prahAra kaisA !' coroM ke mastaka para phailI merI uttAna bA~hoM para gira kara, zakendra kA vaha vajrAstra vyartha ho gayA / 'kSamA kareM arhat, pahacAnane meM bhUla ho gii|' 'ThIka huI / ghara lauTa Aye tuma, AyuSyamAn / ' 'pratibodha deM, bhagavan / ' 'apane hI ko luTA do| sAre jagata kI sampadA, binA lUTe hI tumhAre pairoM meM A pdd'egii|' 'A~kheM khula gaIM, bhante !' 'dekho apane hI bhItara / sAre qhaz2Ane vahIM gar3e haiM, anyatra kahIM nhiiN|' laMgUra kI taraha uchala kara gozAlA bIca meM Tapaka par3A aura kilakAriyA~ karane lagA / maiM Age bar3ha calA huuN| bhaddilA meM varSAyoga sampanna kiyA hai / gozAlaka AsapAsa ke grAmoM meM bhikSATana kara kAla yApana karatA rhaa| caMpaka-gandhA nadI ke eka nirjana dvIpa meM utkRSTa kAyotsarga huA / nadI kI laharIlI bA~hoM meM AliMga-sukha ananta ho gayA / acAnaka hI ghanaghora varSA Arambha ho gaI / nadI meM durdAma bAr3ha AI hai| grAma-janoM ne bAr3ha meM dvIpa ko DUba jAte dekhaa| taTa para se aneka kAruNika pukAreM sunAyIM pdd'iiN| hAya, zramaNa DUba gye| nadI ne battIsa lakSaNe 'puruSa kA bhoga le liyA / / / * * * * kadalI-samAgama nAmaka grAma ke A~gana meM A pahu~cA huuN| 'prabhu, yahA~ loga yAcakoM ko muMha mA~gA bhojana-dAna kara rahe haiN| Aiye bhante, rasavatI kA Ananda lUTa / ' maiMne uttara nahIM diyaa| 'bhayAnaka haiM, Apa, bhante / Apako bhUkha hI nahIM lagatI kyA?' 'tU hai merI bhUkha, vatsa / ' 'samajha nahIM par3atA, bhagavan / Apa to cupa haiM / yaha arthahIna uttara kauna detA hai ? * . 'to maiM akelA hI bhojana pAU~, bhante ?' * * * gozAle ne dAniyoM ke dvAra para jA kara bhara peTa bhojana kiyA / phira bhI vaha atRpta hI rahA / hAtha phailAtA hI calA gayA / grAmajana bole : 'jAna

Page #110
100 par3atA hai, koI piNAca hai !' unhoMne vipula anna se bharA-pUrA thAla hI use arpita kara diyA / vaha sArA anna vaha khA na sakA / AkaNTha khA kara vaha udara ke Aphare se Akranda karane lagA / pAnI kA cUMTa taka utAranA azakya ho gyaa| loga bole : ___ 'are tU apanI AhAra karane kI kSamatA bhI nahIM jAnatA re? bhojana parAyA ho, peTa to parAyA nahIM ! jAna par3atA hai, mUrtimanta duSkAla hai !' ___'are logo, merA to peTa bhI parAyA hai| jAna par3atA hai, merA apanA to kucha hai hI nahIM / ina nIca peTa taka ne dhokhA de diyA / aba taka yaha sAtha de rahA thA, Aja isa pApI ne bhI sAtha chor3a diyA !' bar3abar3AtA huA aura peTa para hAtha pheratA vaha merI ora aayaa| 'bhante, peTa taka apanA nahIM rahA / kyA karU~ ? Apa to kucha bolate nhiiN|' 'peTa meM samA jA aura dekha, tU peTa hai ki aura koI ?' 'saca hI maiM peTa nahIM, bhagavan, koI aura hU~ / para patA nahIM calatA, kauna huuN| yaha peTa bar3A zatru hai merA / Ar3e AtA hai. aura mujhe apanA patA nahIM lagane detaa| . . 'bhante, Apa kaheM to phAr3a pheMka isa peTa ko ?' 'peTa ko apane meM samA le / phira tU hI raha jAyegA, vatsa / ' .. aura vaha cupacApa mere samakakSa hI dhyAnastha ho gayA /

Page #111
aNu-aNu merA AgAra ho jAye jambUkhaNDa aura kUpikA me vihAra karatA huA, vaizAlI kI ora agrasara huuN| eka sthala para pahu~ca kara, eka dorAhA sAmane aayaa| eka mArga rAjagRhI ko jAtA hai, dUsarA vaizAlI ko| calate-calate acAnaka hI gozAlaka bolA : 'nahIM bhante, ava maiM Apake sAtha nahIM cala sakatA / ApakA mArga durgama hai| usameM pada-pada para Apada-vipada kA anta nhiiN| usa para calanA mere vaza kA nhiiN|' 'phira yaha bhI hai ki jaba koI mujhe mAratA hai, to Apa mujhe bacAte nahIM / taTastha hI rahate haiN| uttara taka nahIM dete / Apa kaise tAraka haiM, kaise svAmI haiM, samajha meM nahIM AtA / Apa to apanI hI rakSA nahIM krte| Aye dina Apa para vikaTa upasarga hote haiM, mujhe bhI unakA bhoga bananA par3atA hai| Aga hI to ThaharI, sUkhe ke sAtha mujha hare ko bhI jalA detI hai| aura loga bhI pakSapAtI haiM, pahale merA nikandana nikAlate haiM, taba Apako pITate haiN| Apa to piTakara bhI paTiye kI taraha aprabhAvita rahate haiM, merA to cUrA ho jAtA hai / susvAdu bhojana ko mana tar3apatA hai, para Apa to sadA upAsI, so mujhe kaI bAra bhUkhoM maranA par3atA hai| - 'phira Apa to pASANa aura ratna meM, araNya aura Alaya meM, dhUpa aura chA~va meM, agni aura jala meM, saMhAraka aura sevaka meM koI bheda hI nahIM karate / nivizeSa samadRSTi se vicarate haiN| aise meM mUDha putra kI taraha ApakI sevA kaba taka kruuN| niSphala tAla-vRkSa kI phalAzAhIna mevA meM itane varSa bitA diye / isa bhrAMti meM kaba taka rhuuN| ho sake to merI sevA yAda rakhanA / kabhI tAlavRkSa phale to mujha akiMcana ko yAda kareM, prabhu ! bidA letA hU~ bhante, AjJA deM. . / ' tAlavRkSa ke niSphala DhUMTha ne koI uttara nahIM diyaa| maMkhaliputra gozAlaka akelA gajagRhI ke mArga para cala diyaa| .avizrAnta vaizAlI ke mArga para vihAra kara rahA hU~ / eka nigAha merI gozAlaka kA anusaraNa kara rahI hai| . . . vaha rAha se bhaTaka kara eka ghanaghora araNya meM praveza kara gayA hai| usakA citta jAne kahA~ pIche chUTa gayA hai| vaha unmana

Page #112
102 bhAva se, vRkSa se TUTI DAla kI taraha, bhalate rAstoM para TakkareM khA rahA hai| kisI vizAla sarpa kI bA~bI meM jaise cUhA bhUla se ghusa jAye, vaise hI vaha usa araNya bhUmi meM ghusa gayA / vahA~ vikaTa pA~ca sau coroM kA aDDA thA / gRddha dRSTi se eka cora ne vRkSa kI DAlI para se gozAlaka ko Ate dekhA / usane dUsare coroM se kahA : 'mitro, koI dravyahIna nagna puruSa A rahA hai / ' sAthI coroM ne kahA : 'nagna bhale hI ho, hama ise chor3eMge nahIM / zAyada kisI rAjya kA cara ho. yA cora kA cara ho / aura mitra, rAjya bhI to coroM kA aDDA hI hai / corI karane kA apanA-apanA DhaMga hI to hai / Ao mitro. rAjya meM hI suraMga lagA deM, to corI kI jhaMjhaTa hI samApta ho jAye / na rahegA bA~sa na bajegI bA~surI / ...' aura ve mAre cora ThahAkA mAra kara ha~se / 'Ao mAmA, Ao mAmA, svAgata hai / khIra-pUr3I taiyAra hai| bhojana karo / . gozAlaka prasanna ho gayA | zramaNa ko chor3anA turaMta phalIbhUta ho gayA / tatkAla khIra-pUr3I kA AmantraNa mila gayA, vaha bhI isa ghora jaMgala meM, jahA~ na mAnavI, na mAnavI kA jAyA / khilI bA~choM se vaha apane ha~sate yajamAnoM ko herane lgaa| coroM ne use ghera liyA, aura bArI-bArI se usake kandhoM para car3ha kara, use sA~r3ha kI taraha hA~kane lage / jhApar3a mAra-mAra kara use daur3Ane lage / ... thor3I hI dera meM usakA dama akhIra hone lagA / use antima sA~sa letA chor3a kara. ve jaMgala ke apane ajJAta Dere meM jA chupe / gozAlaka bilakha-bilakha kara rone lagA : 'hAya, svAmI se dUra hote hI zvAna kI taraha isa duHsaha vipatti meM par3a gayA hU~ / maiM kRtaghnI yaha bhUla gayA ki saMkaTa Ane para maiM to sadA unake aMgoM meM duvaka jAtA thA, aura merI ora se bhI ve hI sArI mAra khAte the / samartha ho kara bhI ve apanI rakSA se udAsIna rahate the. to koI gaMbhIra kAraNa hogA / cupa raha kara bhI ve apanI A~khoM se mujhe kitanA pyAra karate the / aise svAmI aba kahA~ pAU~gA ? hAya re hAya, maiM janama janama kA abhAgA, anAtha, aba una nAtha ko kahA~ khojUMgA ! ' aura vaha mimakatA, hatheliyoM kI pITha se A~sU pochatA. usa vanakhaNDa kA atikramaNa kara, svAmI kI khoja meM udbhrAnta bhaTakane lagA /

Page #113
103 * * * nahIM vaizAlI , Aja maiM tere dvAra para nahIM AyA, tere lohakAra ke dvAra para AyA hU~ / jahA~ tere durga, toraNa-kapATa aura koSAgAroM kI argalAe~ DhAlI aura gar3hI jAtI haiM, usa lohazAlA meM AyA huuN| tere lohakAra kA ghana merI pratIkSA meM hai, kyoMki usakI prakANDa nihAI bhagna ho gaI hai| usakA loha gala gayA hai, aura kisI bhI taraha Dhalane meM nahIM A rahA hai| vaha coTa kare to kisa para kare ? terI jIrNa aura kSINa ho gaI argalAoM ko vaha phira se gar3he, to kaise gar3he ? vaizAlI kI sImA-vartI mahA lohazAlA ke eka kone meM bar3I bhora hI Akara vajra-yogAsana meM dhyAnastha ho gayA huuN|. . .lohakAra caNDavega kaI dinoM se rugNa thaa| hAla hI meM vaha nIroga huA hai| Aja ke zubha muhUrta meM, Arogya lAbha karane para prathama bAra usane svajanoM ke sAtha lohazAlA meM praveza kiyA / kone meM nigAha par3ate hI vaha cauMkA, kSubdha ho uThA : 'are isa maMgala-muhUrta meM, kammazAlA meM praveza karate hI, yaha kauna naMga-dhaDaMga dikhAI par3A hai ! jAna par3atA hai koI dasya, zramaNa kA rUpa dhara kara cupake se yahA~ ghusa baiThA hai| lAo, isI para apane ghana kI pahalI coTa karUM aura isake rakta se zubhAraMbha kA svastika kruuN| * * ____ 'merI kaI dinoM se bhagna par3I nihAI, jar3ane meM nahIM A rahI / isake mastaka kI bali usa para car3hAU~, to zAyada jur3a jAye / ..' aura vaha krodha se hu~kAratA huA apanA ghana lene ko daudd'aa| 'maiM tere ghana kI nayI nihAI hone AyA hU~, vaizAlI ke mahAlohakAra! . . .' apane bhItara mujhe sunAI pdd'aa| * * *aura bhagna nihAI para mastaka DhAla kara zramaNa nizcinta so gayA / lohakAra ke parijana bhayAnaka durghaTa kI AzaMkA se Dara kara bhAga khar3e hue| lohakAra ne ghana uThAkara phira garjanA kI : 'le pAkhaNDI, taiyAra ho jaa| tere bali-rakta se Aja maiM apanI nihAI ko sAbuta karU~gA !' 'tathAstu * * * !' aura z2ora se ghana ko havA meM tIna bAra ghumA kara vaha zramaNa ke mastaka para coTa karane ko huA, ki ghana uchala kara usI ke mastaka para A TuTA / isase pahale ki usa para coTa ho, antara-muhUrta mAtra meM zramaNa ke mAthe ne lohakAra ke mastaka ko chatra kI taraha chA liyaa| * ghana bhannA kara nihAI para jA girA / khaMDita nihAI cUra-cUra ho kara pAre kI taraha bikhara gii| 'oha, mahAzramaNa varddhamAna kumAra ! vaizAlI ke merudaNDa * * * ! hAya, merI A~khoM para yaha kaisA mAyAvI pardA par3a gayA thaa| kSamA kareM, bhagavana / AryAvarta ke

Page #114
104 zramikoM ke ekamAtra tAranahAra mere sAmane khar3e haiN| * * apanI A~khoM para vizvAsa nahIM hotA / .. oha prabhu, Apake mAthe para yaha raktadhArA, yaha phaTAna kaisI? . . . mere ghana kI coTa to lauTa kara mujhI para AI thI na ? * . . 'samajha gayA, apane hatyAre ke zirastrANa ho kara, mujha para lauTe hue mere hI vAra ko, tumane apane mastaka para jhela liyA...! ___bhante, mujhe sau bAra dhikkAra hai| ugAra leM isa pApI ko| mere liye prAyazcita kA vidhAna kreN| 'maiM vaizAlI nahIM AyA, kevala tere pAsa AyA hU~, AyuSyamAna / sAvadhAna, merA nAma bhI kahIM tere muMha se na nikale / maiM upasthita ho kara bhI, yahA~ anupasthita 'evamastu, bhante / ' eka dIrgha sannATA . . . 'mere pApa kA koI prAyazcita nahIM, bhante ?' 'mahAvIra pApa nahIM dekhatA, vaha kevala cidghana AtmA dekhatA hai / vahI tU hai, maiM tujhe dekhatA huuN|' _ 'kRtArtha huA, kRpAnAtha ! * * * para merI nihAI to sadA ko samApta ho gaI, bhante ? aba kyA hogA, sadiyoM purAnI aisI vizAla nihAI aba kahA~ milegI ?' 'mahAvIra kA mastaka Aja ke bAda terI nihAI hogA, lohakAra !' 'khammA, khammA svAmI, mere pApa kA anta nhiiN|' 'pApa kA sadA ko anta ho gayA / apanI cidghana AtmA ke ghana se aba tU mere mastaka kI nihAI para vaizAlI ke liye nayA zastra gar3hegA / sAMkaleM aura Agale nahIM !' 'samajhA nahIM, bhagavan ?' 'samaya Ane para samajhegA, saumya / ' 'pratibuddha huA, devArya / ' * * *lauTa par3A hU~ vaizAlI se / rAjamArga chor3akara ar3AbIr3a aTavI meM rAha kATa rahA hU~* * / mere lahUluhAna pairoM ko ye kauna do mRNAla pIche khIMca rahe haiM . . . ? nahIM AmrapAlI, Aja nahIM * * ! jAnatA hU~, kala AdhI rAta tuma kisI visphoTaka AvAz2a se acAnaka jAga uThI thii| tumhAre kakSa ke banda ratna-kapATa acAnaka TUTa kara gira par3e the. / nahIM, bhrAMti nahIM thI vaha tumhArI / tumhAre dvAra meM

Page #115
105 mahAvIra khar3A huA thaa| : 'rAkha meM DhaMkI Aga-sI tumhArI supta vedanA jAga uThI / ThIka hI huaa| pUta-pAvanakArI hai yaha pAvaka / ise dabAo nahIM / nirantara prajjvalita rkkho| isI kI rAha eka dina AU~gA tumhAre pAsa / isI bhaTThI meM tumheM apane hAthoM nutana vaizAlI kA bhAgya DhAlanA hogA / Aja ke bAda tumhAre dvAra para kapATa banda nahIM hoNge| suvarNa-mudrAoM kI argalAoM se ve jar3e nahIM rheNge| saba ke liye saba samaya ve khule rheNge| phira samrATa Aye ki bhikhArI aaye| tuma samAna rUpa se saba kI cAha pUrI karogI / saba kI ho kara rahogI . / ' 'maiM, janapada-kalyANI ?' 'jagadambA hI janapada-kalyANI ho sakatI hai|' .. - 'nAtha, nigAha par3ate hI tuma kahA~ cale gaye ? darzana de kara bhI pyAsI hI chor3a gaye . . ?' 'maiM hI tumhArI pyAsa hU~, aMbe / mujhe sahanA hogaa|' . . pairoM ko bA~dha kara pIche khIMcate bAha-bandhoM ke puNDarIka vivaza Dhalaka kara khila pdd'e| zramaNa niSThura padAghAta ke sAtha, abhedya kAntAra meM rAha bhedane lgaa| * * * zAlizIrSa ke udyAna meM eka saghana zirIpa vRkSa tale dhyAnastha hU~ / mAghapUsa kI zizira rAtri meM himAnI havAeM baha rahI haiN| vRkSa kI ghaTA meM se kaisI barpha pighala kara zarIra para Tapaka rahI hai| himavAya ke jhoMke unameM bANa calA rahe haiM / zarIra ke pora-pora meM bachiyA~ biMdha rahI haiN| * * *kisane aisI kRpA kI hai, ki mere reze-reze meM jame hue anAdikAla ke karma-mala kaTa rahe haiM / o - tuma ho, bANa-vyantarI kaTapUtanA / tApasI kA rUpa dhara kara mujhe tArane AI ho / tana para valkala, mAthe para jaTA. aura aparUpa sundara mukhar3A lekara AI ho / merI khAtira kitanA kaSTa kiyA tumane ! isa zIta-pAle kI rAta meM hima-sarovara meM apane ko Dubo kara AI ho, tAki apane lAvaNya ke jala me mujhe sArI rAta nahalAtI raho / / - jAnatA hU~, tripRSTha vAsudeva ke bhava meM tuma merI vijayA nAmA rAnI thii| maiM sahasroM rAniyoM ke bIca madamatta lIlA-vihAra karatA thaa| tumhAre nivedana-kAtara nArItva kI mujhase vAra-bAra avajJA huI / IrSyA, TepakuNTina vAsanA kI tIvrAnubandhI kaSAyoM ko apane atala meM daphanAye, tuma janmAntara karatI rhii| eka sAtha prIti aura pratizodha kI Aga meM jalatI huI, apane hara agale janma meM mujhe bAvalIsI khojatI phirI / badalA bhanAne ko, yA merA pyAra pAne ko ? so to tumhIM jaano|

Page #116
* * jAnatA hU~, pratizodha kI hiMsA se pAgala ho kara hI, Aja tuma mujhe yaha himadAha de rahI ho / para pratizodha bhI to usI se liyA jAtA hai, jo nitAnta apanA ho / jisake binA rahA na jA sake / badalA lene ke bahAne jI bhara mujha se pyAra hI to vasUla kara rahI ho / tumane itanI avahelanA saha kara bhI mujhe isa yogya samajhA ! maiM tumhAre astitva kI zarta ho rhaa| * to suno, aparAdhI prastuta hai : pratizodha lo yA pyAra karo, use koI antara nahIM par3egA / kyoM ki tumhArI AtmA kI lau ko usane dekha liyA hai| jAno ki aba vaha ekAnta rUpa se tumhArA hai| 'nAtha * * * , mere tInoM lokoM aura tInoM kAloM ke svAmI ! A gaye tuma ? eka hI jhaTake meM merI saMsAra-rAtri ko kATa diyA tumane / Thor3I pakar3a kara merA cUMghaTa uThA diyA tumane / prItama ne aparAdhI kI mudrA meM A kara AtmArpaNa kara diyA hai| kSamA kisase, kaise mA~gU? tumheM to jhelate hI banatA hai . / ' __ zramaNa ne jhaka kara apane caraNoM meM par3e usa tApasI ke mAthe ko chu diyaa| ve ba~dhI huI graMthila jaTAe~ khula kara mukta kuntaloM meM mahaka utthiiN| - - dekha rahA hU~, kisI anuttara divya loka ke vimAna para khar3A, nikhila loka kA avalokana kara rahA huuN| * * *lokAvadhi-jJAna kI sarva-darzI zreNi para ArUr3ha ho gayA hU~ / AtmA kI zaktiyoM aura rahasyoM kA pAra nhiiN| bhadrikApurI AyA hU~ / candrabhadrA nadI ke taTa para, eka saptacchada vRkSa ke nIce, zilA tala para baiThA hU~ / nadI kI dhArA para nigAha sthira ho gayI hai| grISma kI yaha pANDura tanvaMgI nadI virahiNI-sI lagatI hai| soca meM par3a kara, mere sAmane mAno ruka-sI gaI hai| pUcha rahI ho jaise : 'kahA~ se AyI hU~ maiM, aura kahA~ jAnA hai| bahate hue janama-janama bIta gaye, para Aja apanA patA pAne ko jI bahuta akulA gayA hai|' __.. 'o nadI, bahatI raho apane meM avikala / ruko nahIM, soco nahIM, pUcho nahIM : eka dina Apa hI jAna logI ki kauna ho, kahA~ hai tumhArA udgama, kyoM hai tumhArA abhigama, kahA~ hai tumhArA nirgama / . .' * * *ASAr3ha ke pahale bAdala garajane lage / vanabhUmi nAcate mayUroM kI pukAroM se pAgala ho gaI hai| bijaliyA~ kar3akane lagI haiN| nadI aura usake taTavartI grAma aMjanI chAyA meM vizrabdha ho gaye haiN| dharatI ke garbha meM byAkulatA hai, visphAra hai, ki vaha megha ke ulkAvegha se biddha ho, navajIvana ko jhele, dhAraNa kare, asaMkhya aMkuroM aura jIvANuoM meM prasphuTita ho / * * patA nahIM kaba, mUlAdhAra meM antarlIna ho gayA huuN| merI pRthula jaMghAoM meM pRthivI simaTa AyI hai| punarAvRtti se aba vaha Uba gaI hai / cAhatI hai, usake

Page #117
107 zarIra meM koI apUrva nAvinya lahaka uThe / usake aNu-aNu meM koI asambhava nayI rUpazrI jhalamalA utthe| dizAe~ kisI vajrabhedI zaMkhanAda se tharrA uThIM / ghanaghora garajate meghoM kA brahmAMDI DamarU bajane lagA / kar3akatI bijaliyoM ke trizUla parvata-zikharoM meM bhidane lge| * * mUsalAdhAra varSA AraMbha ho gaI / merI bAhya cetanA jAne kaba tirohita ho gaI / dRSTi mAtra raha gayA hU~ : aura dekha rahA hU~ : . . eka vAtarazanA puruSa adhara meM daNDAyamAna hai / udbhinna garbhA dharatI, usake AzleSa ke liye Akula, usake caraNoM meM lipaTI hai / usa puruSa meM koI spandana nahIM, pratikriyA nahIM / vaha svayam hI eka vizuddha kriyA kA pravAha hai| kriyA jo agocara hai, para svAntaHsaMcAriNI hai| dhArAsAra vRSTi-dhArAe~ mAnoM usI meM se uTha kara, meghanAda karatI huIM, usI para barasa kara usakA abhiSeka kara rahI haiM / usakI asthiyA~ hI visphoTita ho kara bijaliyoM meM kar3aka uThatI haiM : aura phira usI para TUTa kara usakI pasaliyoM meM samA jAtI haiM / usI kA snAyujAna, ina AsapAsa kI araNyAniyoM meM phaila kara, apAra zAkhA-jAloM meM vyApa gayA hai / usI ke nAbhi-kamala se udgIrNa ho kara yaha nadI uddAma vega se alakSya meM baha rahI hai| aura jAne kaba usakI dhamaniyoM meM dhaMsa AI hai| . . nadI meM anirvAra bAr3ha AI hai / AdhI rAta vaha sAre taTavartI grAmoM ke upma Alokita haz2AroM gharoM ko AplAvita karatI huI, apane meM DubA le gaI hai / aura mAnoM ki pRthvI ke taTAntoM taka pahu~ca kara, bebasa apane hI meM lauTatI huI, isa digjayI puruSa kI jaMghAoM meM pachAr3e khA rahI hai / usake pora-pora asaMkhya gopuroM-se khula par3e haiN| aura mAnoM zata-sahasra nara-nArI, vAla-vRddhoM se bhare lokAlaya ke sAre bADha meM DUbe ghara, usakI mAMsa-peziyoM ke, nayI dhUpa se jagamagAte, prAntaroM meM A kara surakSita basa gaye haiM / unakI purAtana iyattA kho gaI hai : apanI nayI asmitA meM apane ko pahacAna kara ve AlhAda se stabdha hai| itanA adhika to apane Apako unhoMne kabhI nahIM pahacAnA thA . . ! * * varSA ke bAda pahalI bAra Aja nayI dhUpa khilI hai / cAroM ora prasanna hariyAlI kA prasAra hai / dUravartI eka TIle para baiThA dekha rahA hU~ : sAre sanniveza ke grAmajana raMga-biraMge vastroM meM saje, gAje-bAje ke sAtha julUsa nikAla kara usa saptacchada vRkSa ke tale Aye haiM / usake taladeza meM par3e zilAtala kI ve pUjA-AratI kara rahe haiM / yahA~ yogirAT varSA-tapa meM dhyAnastha dikhAI par3e the, unhIM kI kRpA se to unakI sArI vastiyA~, bAr3ha meM DUba kara bhI bAla-bAla baca gaI thIM ! - - hAya, ve mahApurupa kupita nadI-devatA ko apanI bali car3hA kara, hamArA uddhAra kara gaye ! . . .

Page #118
108 . . . 'are o bhavyo, kaba taka apane ko bhala kara, bhaya ke vazIbhata ho, sahana koTi mithyA devoM ko pUjate rahoge ? tuma saba kA vAtA tumhAre hI bhItara baiThA hai| usI ko pAo, usI ko dhyAo, uso ko pUjo, usI ko pyAra kro| vahI tumhArA eka mAtra tAranahAra hai| anyatra aura anya, aura koI nahIM, koI nahIM, koI nahIM * * / ' saptacchada vRkSa ke nava-pallavoM meM se yaha prabodhana vANI sunAI pdd'ii| apane anajAne hI, Atma-pratIti se Azvasta ho kara. Ananda ke gIta gAte grAmajanoM kI zobhA-yAtrA lauTa gii| tabhI acAnaka sunAI par3A : 'svAmI * * 'svAmI' 'mere svAmI / pA gayA apane nAtha ko ! maiM maMkhaliputra gozAlaka lauTa AyA, bhante / Apa se bichur3a kara ina chaha mahInoM meM maiMne apAra vipadAe~ sahIM / mRtyu ke mukha meM se lauTa kara AyA hU~, prabhu / Apa hI ke anugRha se nayA janama pAyA hai| aba ina zrIcaraNoM ko chor3a kara jAne kI bhUla kabhI nahIM karU~gA / bhava-bhava kA bhaTakA zaraNAgata hai, bhagavan / ' maiMne koI uttara nahIM diyA / kIcar3a, zaivAla, pattoM-kA~ToM se AkIrNa gozAlaka kI ghAyala nagna mUrti praNipAta meM bhUmiSTha dekhii| 'bujjhaha - 'bujhaha, - 'Atman / ' 'samajha rahA hU~, bhante, saba samajha rahA huuN| phira bhI bAra-bAra mUr3ha ho jAtA huuN| Apake pAsa koI aisA kIlA nahIM bhante, jisase mere isa mana markaTa ko Apa kIlita kara ke rakkheM ?' mayUra-pIchI se usake jaTAjUTa mastaka para tIna bAra AghAta kara, maiM prayANa kara gyaa| vaha phira pahale kI taraha merA chAyAnusaraNa karane lgaa| * * * parivrATa hU~ / parivrAjana hI merA svabhAva hai / vahI vastu aura vyakti mAtra kI svAbhAvika sthiti hai| dravya ke zuddha pariNamana kA yAvI, parivrAjaka ho ho sakatA hai| kevalajJAna ke siddhAcala para ArUr3ha honA cAhatA huuN| to triloka aura trikAla ke atalAntoM meM avarUr3ha honA pdd'egaa| parama utkarSa para pahu~cane ke liye, carama apakarSa kI isa prakriyA se guz2are binA caina nhiiN| . . . * * * kauna hai yaha gozAlaka, jo eka anivArya, AsurI uttarIya kI taraha mere kandhe para Ta~ga gayA hai| aNu-aNu ke bIca jo ajJAna kI a~dhiyArI khaMdakeM haiM, unhIM

Page #119
10 kA yaha vigraha hai / yaha zuddha aura nagna andhakAra kI mUrtimAna cunautI hai, jo nirantara mere oredore cakkara kATa rahI hai| mahAtamasa ke loka meM utarane ko yaha mujhe pratipala lalakAra rahA hai / yaha vajrIbhUta jar3atva kA anAvaraNa svarUpa hai| isake bhItara caitanya kI jota ujAle binA nistAra nahIM / ajJAna ke dhvAnta-valayoM meM utarane ke liye, yaha sIr3hI bana kara sadA mere sAmane cala rahA hai / ajJAna abhAva hai| andhakAra vibhAva hai| pApa, andhakAra, abhAva kI koI sattA nhiiN| vaha nAsti hai| uma nAsti ke bhrAnta bhaya ko bhede aura chede binA, astitva apane svabhAva se Alokita nahIM ho sktaa| dravya svabhAva se hI sat hai, pavitra hai, prakAzamAna hai / paramANu apane nisarga rUpa meM hI dIpta hai| dravya kA vaha avyakta svabhAva , apane vyakta astitva meM prakaTa na ho, aisA kaise ho sakatA hai ? antata: sabhI kucha jyotirmaya hai / kaNa-kaNa apane antarvama meM eka akhaNDa jyoti se bhAsvara hai| kaI bAra dhyAna meM, prakAza ke eka aphATa-virAT prAntara meM apane ko vicarate dekhA hai / graha-nakSatroM meM vahI Aloka jala rahA hai / bhUgarbha ke aMdheroM meM vahI ratnoM ke rUpa meM dIpita hai| prANi mAtra kI A~kheM usI rozanI se dekhatI haiN| jalacara, thalacara, nabhacaroM ke zarIroM meM, vanaupadhiyoM meM, vaha jAne kahA~-kahA~ udbhAsita hai / sAre carAcara padArtha usI prabhA ke sahAre jIvana-caryA kara rahe haiM / antataH jyoti ke sivAya kahIM kucha nahIM hai / use na jAnanA hI, ekamAtra pApa hai, patana hai, andhakAra hai, mRtya meM jInA hai / use jAnanA aura usameM jInA hI, svabhAva hai, ekamAtra utkarSa hai, AnandaM hai, mokSa hai| chaha varSa bIta gaye, anAgAra bhramaNa kara rahA huuN| tAki aNu-aNu merA AgAra ho jAye / apane usa ANavika ghara meM AdikAla se jo jAle, dhUla, a~dherA DerA jamAye haiM, unheM sApha karanA hogA / usI ko jinezvaroM ne karmanAza kahA hai| aneka mohajanya abhiniveza, AsaktiyA~, saMskAra-jAla apane ghara ko malina aura AvRta kiye hue haiM / mana aura indriyoM kI jIvanavAhI khir3akiyA~, unase AcchAdita ho gaI haiN| usa kalmaSa ko dhvasta kiye binA, jIvana nirbAdha, svastha, samvAdI, sukhada nahIM ho sktaa| gozAlaka ke rUpa meM karmoM kA vahI viSama cakravyUha rAtadina mujhe ghera kara cala rahA hai / para isa tamisrA ke chora para jo dIpaka akhaNDa jala rahA hai, use maiM pratyakSa dekha rahA hU~ / isI se jIvana ke isa viDambanA-citra ko maiM mAyA ke bhrAmaka pardo se adhika kucha nahIM mAnatA / gozAlaka usI kA samagra aura jItA-jAgatA

Page #120
svarUpa hai / vaha astitva ke vaiSamyoM kA calatA-phiratA darpaNa hai / vaha pUre jagatanATaka kA eka kendrIya naTa hai / vaha ajJAnI saMsAra kI sArI mUr3hatAoM kA eka sacoTa vyaMgakAra aura vidUSaka hai| apanA aura sabakA samAna rUpa se maz2Aka ur3A kara, hAsya-vidrUpa karake, vaha saMsAra kI yathArtha sthiti ko ujAgara kara rahA hai / vaha apanI bali de kara, auroM kA patha ujAla rahA hai / use maiM nahIM apanAU~gA, to kauna apanAyegA ? mere sivAya isa svArtha-pramatta jagata meM usakI tamograsta AtmA ko kauna pyAra karegA ? usakI bholI, mUr3ha, vibhora A~khoM meM aneka bAra, usakI mumukSa AtmA ke udagrIva dIye ko maiMne dekhA hai| . . . J

Page #121
kauna uttara detA hai phira magadha meM vihAra kara rahA hU~ / isakI sataha para nahIM cala rahA, isakI tahoM meM vicara rahA huuN| kitanA prazasta, gahana aura lacIlA hai isakA garbhakoza / usake gaharAva meM gopita hai eka zrIkamala / usakI sahasroM pA~khuriyoM meM nirbAdha saMcarita ho rahA huuN| kisI parama garbhAdhAna ko Akula mA~ kI kokha kI taraha yaha bhUmi mujhe apane meM AtmasAt kara rahI hai| para isakI sataha para cala rahe kUTa-cakroM kA anta nhiiN| magadhezvara zreNika lubdhaka purohitoM, kuTila brAhmaNoM, tAMtrika rAsAyanikoM se ghirA rAta-dina sAmrAjyavistAra ke SaDyaMtra raca rahA hai| Aye dina nitya ho rahe pazu-yajJoM se magadha kA AkAza malina aura saMtrasta hai| zreNika ke tAMtrikoM ne viSa-kanyA ke prayoga se ajeya yoddhA aMgarAja dadhivAhana kI hatyA karavA dI hai / aura pUrva ke samudra-durga campA para adhikAra kara liyA hai| para usakI madirA ke nIlamI pyAle meM jo parachA~hI par3a rahI hai, vaha sAmrAjya kI nahIM sundarI kI hai| anupama saundarya kA khojI antataH AtmakAmI hotA hI hai / kAma apanI uddAmatA ke chora para pahu~ca kara AtmakAma hI ho sakatA hai| zreNika, terA tana-mana cAhe jahA~ bhaTake : aura use abhI bahuta bhaTakanA hai| para terI cAhata kI sundarI mere antaHpura meM baiThI hai| usake pAsa pahuMce binA tujhe caina nahIM mila sktaa| so terI sArI pravRttiyoM aura SaDyaMtroM kI dhurI para vahI kamalA AsIna hai / jisa dina vaha cAhegI, apanI bAhu ke eka hI Alor3ana se vaha tujhe apanI chAtI para khIMca legii| tere sAre rAste antataH usI kamalA ke mahala kI ora jA rahe haiM / zreNika, pichalI bAra tU apane aizvarya ke bIca mujhe AmaMtrita karane AyA thaa| maiM cupa rahA / A~kha uThA kara bhI maiMne terI ora nahIM dekhaa| kyoMki merI dRSTi ekAgra terI AtmA para lagI hai| usakI mujhe z2arUrata hai| tarala, nirmala, aura niSkapaTa hai terI cetnaa| ThIka muhUrta Ane para vaha mere pyAle meM sahaja hI Dhala jaayegii| para Aja merI cuppI aura avahelanA se tU nArAz2a hai| apane cATukAroM ke bIca tU zramaNa varddhamAna kI nindA meM rata rahatA hai / sAmrAjya ko bhUla terA samUcA jI isa nagna bhikSuka meM A aTakA hai / isakI mahimA ko DhA~ke binA

Page #122
112 tU apanA pratApa mahesUsa karane meM asamartha hai / sAmrAjya aura sundarI se bhI adhika tU isa mahimA kI abhIpsA se pAgala ho uThA hai| isa bhikSaka ke ahaMkAra ko tor3e binA, tere samrATa kA ahaMkAra khar3A nahIM raha pA rhaa| tere parAjita aura ghAyala aham kI isa vedanA ko anubhava kara rahA huuN| lekina tU bhrAMti meM par3A hai, zreNika ! akiMcana varddhamAna ke pAsa to vaha ahaMkAra bhI nahIM bcaa| usane to sabhI kucha hAra diyA / aura yadi terI dRSTi meM abhI bhI usakA koI svatva bacA hai, to use bhI vaha tere nikaTa hAra dene AyA hai| aise sarvahArA aura akiMcana kI pratispardhA meM tU par3A hai, to iSTa hI huA hai / apane ko samUcA hAre binA terA nistAra nhiiN| usa bhikSuka jaisA hue binA, terA jInA asambhava ho jaayegaa| jAnatA hU~, madrUpa ho kara hI tujhe caina milegA / tujha jaisA apanA premI aura kahA~ pAU~gA * * ? __kaI bAra paMcazaila kI talahaTI meM kAyotsarga se nirgata hone para dekhA hai, magadha kI samrAjJI celanA jAne kaba se sAmane baiThI hai| maktakezI, ujjvala vasanA, ghaTane para cibuka TikAye vaha ekaTaka bhikSuka ke dhUli-dhasarita caraNoM meM tanmaya hai| mujhe unmukha dekha, usakI ve bar3I-bar3I cintAmaNi A~kheM mere cehare para vyApa jAtI haiN| usa citavana kA athAha darada, aura usakI AratI mujhe vivaza kara detI hai| usake vidagdha vilAsI locanoM meM, samyaktva kI anAvila AbhA jhA~katI hai| una palakoM ke kinAroM meM chalakate gopana sarovara meM yogI cAhe jaba snAnakeli karane calA jAtA hai / - 'aura kabhI-kabhI usameM gaharI DubakI lagA kara, magadha kI dharatI ke lacIle aura udAtta garbha meM utara jAtA hai| ATha mahIne magadha meM vihAra karatA rahA / koI vighna yA upasarga rAha meM nahIM AyA / mere bhItara ke mArdava ko, isI mArdavI bhUmi ne pahalI bAra aisA acUka uttara diyA hai| - acchA mAgadhI, aba hama caleMge / aTakanA hamArA svabhAva nahIM, aTana hI hamArI ekamAtra caryA hai| * * *AlaMbhikA meM varSAyoga sampanna kara kuMDaka grAma AyA hU~ / yahA~ ke vAsudeva mandira ke eka kone meM dhyAnastha ho gayA huuN| ekAeka dikhAI par3A : gozAlaka vAsUdeva kI pratimA ke sammukha apanA puruSa-cihna rakha kara uddaNDa bhAva se khar3A hai| pujArI use dekhate hI bhaya ke kA~pa uThA / use lagA ki kisI manuSya kI sAmarthya nahIM, jo aisA kara sake / nizcaya hI gA~va ke bhairava yahA~ prakaTa ho kara, yaha rudrakrIr3A kara rahe haiM / vaha bedama vahA~ se bhAgA aura grAmajanoM ko bulA lAyA / kSaNa bhara ve bhI bhairava ke bhaya se AtaMkita ho rahe / tabhI gA~va ke lar3ake kilakAriyA~ karate hue gozAlaka para TUTa par3e / dekhate-dekhate unhoMne lAta-ghuse mAra kara usakI haDDI-pasalI eka kara dii| phira use le jAkara bAhara kahIM kaTIlI jhAr3iyoM meM DAla diyA /

Page #123
113 dopaharI ke nirjana sannATe meM chile badana, dIna mukha, hata prANa gozAlaka mere sAmane A khar3A huA / 'svAmI, ApakA hRdaya patthara kA hai ki phaulAda kA ? mujha niraparAdha ko duSToM ne maraNAntaka mAra mArI, aura Apa cupacApa khar3e, tamAzA dekhate rahe ?' !' 'merA kyA aparAdha hai, bhante ? Apa to jAnate haiM, maiM cira dina kA askhalita brahmacArI hU~ / Apa hI kA nagna nigraMtha ziSya hU~ / para yaha kAmadeva bar3A nIca aura nirlajja hai, prabhu ! pizAca kI taraha vaha mujha para car3ha baiThA hai, aura apane dAruNa jvara se usane mujhe hatAhata kara diyA hai| Apa to merI guhAra sunate nahIM, so maiM dIna dayAlu vAsudeva kI zaraNa calA gayA / apanA udvigna kAmadaNDa maiMne unake sAmane naivedya kara diyA / tAki ve kAmadeva ke isa krUra vAhana ko hI lIla jAyeM, aura mujhe sadA ke liye isa duSTa kI upAdhi se mukta kara deM / aba ApahI nyAya kareM, bhante, isameM merA kyA doSa thA ?' 1 'kApAlika ! ... mandira kI dIvAroM ne pratidhvanita kiyA : 'kApAlika ' * kApAlika kApAlika !' 'maiM kApAlika ? ApakA parama priyapAtra ziSya maiM aura kApAlika ?' 'vaha tU nahIM / vaha tere mana kI eka paryAya / avazyambhAvI / tU liMgakAma nahIM / tU hai liMgAtIta mahAkAma / ' 'to phira isa duSTa kAma ko kaise jItUM, bhante ?' 'krodha se kAmajaya karegA re ? kaSAya ke kaSAya jaya kaise hogA ? sadA svayaMkAma raha / jo svayam hI apanA kAma ho rahe, vaha sahaja hI pUrNakAma hotA hai / akAma nahIM, pUrNakAma hI huA jA sakatA hai, vatsa / ' 'maiM mar3ha manda mati ApakI gUr3ha bAteM samajha nahIM pAtA, bhante ! ' 'samajha nahIM, kevala suna, dekha, saha, tapa / anubhava Apa hI prakAza hai / ' 'prabuddha huA, bhante !' purimatAla ke zakaTamukha meM udyAna caMkramaNa kara rahA hU~ / sAmane dikhAI par3a rahA hai kacanAra-vana / taladeza kacanAra ke kAsanI phUla - gucchoM se chAyA hai / dhyAna A rahA hai, yahA~ eka dina isa nagara ke vAgura zreSThi ne apanI vandhyA seThAnI ke sAtha kusuma-krIr3A kI thI / krIr3A meM tallIna vicarate hue, ve yugala eka vizAla jIrNa mandira kI ora jA nikale / kautuka vaza devAlaya meM praveza kara

Page #124
114 gaye / zUnya caitya ke devAsana para mallinAtha prabhu ke atyanta manohArI jIvanta bimba ke darzana hue| una arddhanArIzvara prabhu ke rUpa meM ekabAragI hI unheM nara-nArI ke darzana hue| dekha kara zreSThI-yugala kI marma-vedanA umar3a aaii| vandanA meM vinata ho kara unhoMne prArthanA kI : 'he deva, Apake anugRha se yadi hameM santAna lAbha ho, to hama Apake jinAlaya kA jIrNoddhAra kraayeNge| cirakAla Apake bhakta ho kara raheMge ! . . .' __ mallinAtha to kucha karate nhiiN| ve na to nara haiM, na nArI haiM : basa kevala Apa haiN| para unakI bhAvamUrti se abhibhUta ho kara usa yugala ke hRdaya meM antanihita bhagavattA jAgRta ho uThI / bhAva hI to bhagavAna hai| * * vaha pUrNa prakaTa ho jAye, to asambhava sambhava ho jAye / - vandhyA bhadrA seThAnI garbhavatI ho gii| yathA samaya eka sundara putra se usakI goda bhara gii| . . . * * 'kacanAra vana kI zItala saurabha-chAyA meM mujhe gabhIra nijAnanda kI rasa-samAdhi ho gaI / . . . mandira kA jIrNoddhAra ho gayA hai| vAjitroM aura maMgala-dhvaniyoM ke harSakolAhala ke sAtha bharI zobhA yAtrA isa ora A rahI hai| maMdira meM siddhacakra pUjA kA bhavya anuSThAna cala rahA hai / sabase Age duija kI candrakalA-sA zizu godI meM uThAye bhadrA seThAnI bhakti -vinamra bhAva se calI A rahI haiN| unakI dAyIM ora pulaka-romAMcita vAgura zreSThi cala rahe haiM / . . . kacanAra vana kI kusuma-krIr3A kA smaraNa hote hI, dampati ne sahaja hI udhara dRSTi utthaayii| yugala ke pA~va vahIM ThiThaka gaye / sArA harSa-kolAhala Azcaryavimugdha, staMbhita ho rahA / dampati Ananda-vibhora ho pukAra uThe : _ 'hama dhanya hue, hamArA mAnava-janma kRtArtha ho gayA ! mallinAtha prabhu ne sAkSAt prakaTa ho kara, hameM darzana diye * * / bhagavAna mallinAtha jayavanta hoM, jayavanta hoM, jayavanta hoM !' sArI loka-medanI antahIna jayadhvani karane lgii| bhadrA ne apanI upalabdhi ko prabhu ke caraNoM meM arpita kara diyaa| mandira kI sArI pUjA-arcA kusuma-vana meM A gii| kacanAra ne Dhera-Dhera phUloM kI vRSTi kii| * * . maiM muskurA AyA / * * 'zunya maMdira meM phira ekAkI ho gaye mallinAtha kyA soca rahe hoMge ? * - 'mujhe kyA patA, ki vahI devAsana tyAga kara yahA~ bAhara

Page #125
115 A gaye haiM / bhagavAna se bhI adhika samartha haiM zAyada bhakta / jo apane bhAva ke bala unase manacAhA karavA letA hai / bhAva hI to vastu-svabhAva hai / uSNAka nagara kI ora agrasara hU~ / haThAt gozAlA cillA uThA : 'anartha * * 'anartha * * 'anartha ho gayA, bhagavan / hAya hAya, kaisA apazakuna ho gayA * amaMgala amaMgala !' mujhe aprabhAvita, akSuNNa calate dekha kara vaha phira cIkhA : 'are prabhu, Apa to calate bhI dhyAna meM hI haiN| acchA-burA, kurUpa-surUpa kucha bhI nahIM dekhate / bacAiye prabhu, isa durdaiva se bacAiye ! ' maiM cupa, akampa vaisA hI cala rahA hU~ / 'are svAmI, aisA vIbhatsa dRzya to maiMne kabhI dekhA nahIM / mana qharAba ho gayA / asahya hai N asahya asahya hai yaha vidrUpa / 'are eka nigAha dekheM svAmI, ye turata ke byAhe vara-vadhu A rahe haiN| kitane bar3e-bar3e haiM inake peTa, sAkSAt vRkodara haiM / aura ye inake bar3e-bar3e bhayaMkara dA~ta ! are, ye dA~ta haiM ki darA~te haiM / battaqha sI lambI haiM inakI gardaneM / aura ye Thor3iyA~ haiM ki ghor3iyA~, cAho to ina para savArI kara lo / kandhoM meM kUbar3e nikala AyI haiM, ki pahAr3iyA~ haiM ? ' aura ye inake capaTe nAka haiM, ki sapATa maidAna ! aho, dhanya hai vidhAtA kI lIlA ! kaisI anupama jor3I milAyI hai, khoje na mile| jAna par3atA hai ye vidhAtA bhI bar3A kautukI hai, bhante ? ' 1 gozAlA ThIka unake sammukha jA kara hI, ucca svara se yaha kAvya-gAna kara rahA hai, aura unmAdI kI taraha aTTahAsa kara rahA hai| sAtha ke bArAtiyoM ne sahasA hI isa tallIna kavi ko dhara pakar3A aura cora kI taraha mayUra-bandha se bA~dha kara bA~sa kI jhAr3I meM pheMka diyA / vaMzajAla meM ulajhA, chaTapaTAtA vaha guhAra rahA hai : ? 'he svAmI, ina duSToM ne mujhe jAnavara kI taraha bA~dha kara, jAlI meM ghuser3a diyA hai / phira bhI Apa merI upekSA kara rahe haiM dekhate taka nahIM ? auroM para to Apa aDhalaka kRpA karate haiM / dIna sevaka para hI kRpA nahIM kareMge ? ' Jain Educationa International maiM niruttara hI Age bar3ha gyaa| kucha dUra jA kara khar3A raha gayA, usakI pratIkSA meN|.. * mujhe yoM aTakA dekha, bArAtiyoM ne socA, jAna par3atA hai yaha koI durvipAka kA mArA durmati ina mahAtapasvI devArya kA sevaka hai, pIThadhArI aura chatradhArI hai / so unhoMne use uThA kara, usake pAza khola, mere sAmane puriyA kI taraha lA paTakA, aura vandana - namana kara kSamA-yAcanA karate apanI durnivAra kaMTaka A~kha uThA kara kyA apane isa For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #126
116 rAha cala pdd'e| gozAlA abhI bhI puTariyA banA hI par3A hai, bandhana khulane kA use bhAna nhiiN| 'svAmI, kyA aparAdha hai merA, jo ina duSToM ne mujhe aisA dAruNa daNDa diyA hai ? are maiM to jo yathArtha dekhatA hU~, vahI kahatA hU~ / kurUpa ko kurUpa kahanA bhI kyA gunAha hai, bhante ? aisA vIbhatsa rUpa, ki abhI taka mujhe matalI ho rahI 'kyA AkAra ko hI dekhegA, AtmA ko nahIM dekhegA re ?' 'asundara AkAra kI AtmA kaise sundara ho sakatI hai, prabhu ? surUpa aura kurUpa jur3a hI kaise sakate haiM ?' svarUpa dekha vatsa, jo sadA sundara hI hotA hai| svarUpa dekhane kI dRSTi nahIM khulI hai, isI se to virUpa dekha rahA hai ?' ____ 'aisA koI aMjana nahIM hai, bhagavan, Apake pAsa, jo Apa merI A~khoM meM A~ja deM, to sarvatra sundara hI dikhAI par3e, asundara dekhane kI pIr3A se hI sadA ko mukti pA jAU~ ?' 'vaha aMjana tere hI pAsa hai, AyuSyamAn, terI AtmA kI zIzI meM / ' 'AtmA to arUpI hai, bhante, usa meM sundara rUpa dikhAne vAlA aMjana kahA~ se milegA ?' __'sAre rUpa usI arUpa meM se Ate haiN| usa arUpa kA svarUpa prakaTa ho jAye, to sabhI kucha sundara ho jAye / draSTA bhI, dRzya bhii|' 'aisA rasAyana, bhante, Apake sivAya aura kahA~ pAU~gA? bUMda do bUMda apane isa dAsAnudAsa ko bhI pilA deM, to deha aura dehI kI jhaMjhaTa hI khatma ho jAye / jaisA bhItara, vaisA bAhara / 'are, pA gayA * * 'pA gayA * * 'pA gayA, bhagavan ! yahI gura to maiM khoja rahA huuN| bhItara-bAhara kA yaha bheda jagata meM dekha kara hI to merI AtmA pIr3ita hotI hai, aura Aye dina roja mujhe. mAra par3atI hai . . !' 'madrUpa ho jA, vatsa, to tadrUpa ho hI jAyegA * * !' aura maiM Age bar3ha gyaa| gozAlA bhI sIdhA sar3aka ho, pIche-pIche calane lgaa| gobhUmi sanniveza ke carAgAha meM A kara khar3A ho gayA huuN| gocAraNa karate gvAloM ko dekha, gocarI kA svarUpa sAkSAt kara rahA huuN|

Page #127
.. 117 sahasA hI gozAlaka kA tIvra Aveza bharA svara sunAI par3A hai : 'are o vIbhatsa mati vAlo, are o vikaTa karkaTo, are o mleccho, apane hI gocara meM zUravIra bana vicarate gopAlo, kaho to yaha mArga kahA~ jAtA hai ?' __ gopAla bole : 'are o paMthI, tU binA kAraNa hameM kyoM gAlI detA hai ? hamane to terA kucha bigAr3A nhiiN| jA sAle, terA nAza ho jAye !' gozAlA aura bhI utkaTa ho bolA : 'are o dAsI-putro, jo tuma merA yaha Akroza sahana nahIM karoge, to maiM aura bhI Akroza karU~gA / maiMne to tumako koI gAlI dI nhiiN| saca pUcho to maiM maba ko gAlI de rahA huuN| maiM isa sArI duniyA se nArAz2a huuN| yahA~ kA saba mujhe kurUpa aura kadarthI lagatA hai|' 'lagatA hogA tujhe| usake liye hameM kyoM gAliyA~ de rahA hai / hamane terA kyA vigAr3A hai, paNDa ?' 'acchA yaha batAo, kyA tuma mleccha nahIM ho, vIbhatsa nahIM ho, dAsI-putra nahIM ho ? tumhArI ahIranI mA~e~ kyA ina dharta grAmapatiyoM kI bhoga-dAsiyA~ nahIM haiM ? himmata ho to, maca-saca batalAnA * * *!' ___gvAloM ne kruddha ho kara, apane caupAyoM ko hA~ka dI, aura unheM gozAle para daur3A diyaa| nirIha go-bailoM ke sIMgoM aura khuroM kI mAra se kucala kara vaha adhamarA ho rahA / - - maiM apanI rAha para dUra nikala gayA huuN| hA~phatA-hAMphatA gozAla pIche daur3A AyA / 'Apa ke mauna kA rahasya samajha rahA hU~, bhante / cupa raha kara Apa mere caitanya kI zIzI khola rahe haiN| Aja to jAna par3atA hai, sIMgoM aura khuroM kI mAra me vaha phaTa par3I hai| eka sAtha hI usakA sArA aMjana merI A~khoM meM laga gayA hai| moraja ne bhItara taka ghusa kara merI A~khoM ke mAre jAle kATa diya haiM / para ThIka patA nahIM cala rahA hai, ki isa duniyA kI kurUpatA naMgI huI hai, yA merI hI kurUpatA ughar3a kara sAmane A gaI hai / Apake sAtha ghisate-ghisate kabhI to zAligrAma ho hI jAU~gA, prabhu !' maiMne koI uttara nahIM diyA, aura cupacApa apane yAtrA-patha para ArUDha huuN| . . rAjagRhI kI suramya zAdala hariyAliyoM meM jo caumAmA bItA hai, usakI komalatA tale, bhItara kI tahoM meM chupe karma-kaMTaka-kAntAra aura bhI prabala ho kara ubhare haiN| so phira mleccha khaMDoM kI yAtrA kI hai| vahA~ ke chedana

Page #128
118 bhedanakArI upasargoM se, isa deha ke kozoM aura nAr3iyoM ke kaI sapa-gaMjalkI graMthijAla chinna-bhinna hue haiN| * * 'nahIM indra, majhe tumhArI sahAyatA kI z2arUrata nhiiN| zramaNa apanI hI Atma-zakti ko zANa-paTTa para cddh'| kara arihanta hote haiM . . ! karmagrAma meM pratIkSA karatA gozAlaka phira mere sAtha ho liyA / siddhArthapura ke mArga meM sAta phUloM vAlA tila kA eka kSupa dekha kara usane pRcchA kI : 'svAmI, yaha tila kA kSupa phalegA ki nahIM?' 'yaha phalegA, bhdr| ina sAtoM hI phUloM ke jIva eka phalI meM sAta tila hoNge|' yaha suna kara gozAlaka ne usa tila stambha ko vahA~ se ukhAr3a kara pheMka diyaa| * * *Age jA rahA hU~, aura pIche kA dRzya dikhAI par3a rahA hai| . . . akAla meghavRSTi huI hai| ucchinna tila-kSupa ko Ardra kara, meghadhArA ne dharatI ko bhI bhijo diyA hai| tabhI eka gAya ne A kara bhIne tila-kSupa ko apane khura se mATI meM gaharA jar3ita kara diyA hai / bhUmisAt ho kara vaha mUlabaddha aura aMkurita ho AyA hai| * 'jo kahatA hU~, vahI ho jAtA hai / para maiM to kucha cAhatA nahIM, karatA nhiiN| bolatA taka nahIM / cupa hI rahatA huuN| phira yaha kauna hai, jo hara prastuta prazna kA uttara detA hai ?' * * 'maunam girAm ! |

Page #129
sarvatobhadra puruSa : sarvatobhadrA kA AliMgana * * yaha kyA huA ki calate-calate aucaka hI lauTa kara ulaTe pairoM phira kUrmagrAma kI ora cala par3A huuN| yaha parikramA kisa liye ? yaha pratikramaNa kyoM ? o, * * 'vezikA-putra vaizikAyana / terI viSama tApAgni kA AvAhana suna rahA huuN| tere jIvana kA citrapaTa A~khoM ke sAmane se gujara rahA hai| .. dekha rahA hU~, tere janma kI vaha a~dhiyArI saMkaTa-rAtri / tere kheTaka grAma ko coroM ne lUTa liyaa| terA pitA usa AkramaNa meM mArA gyaa| prANa-rakSA ke liye bhAgatI terI garbhavatI mA~ vezikA ne tujhe eka per3a ke nIce janma diyaa| sadya prasUtA vezikA ko coroM ne pakar3a liyaa| usake rUpa-lAvaNya ke lobhI taskaroM ne bAlaka ko balAt vahIM per3a tale usase chur3avA diyA / prAtaHkAla gobara grAma kA dhanI AhIra-pati gauzaMkhI apanI vandhyA strI bandhumatI ke sAtha udhara se niklaa| IzvarIya varadAna samajha usa sundara bAlaka ko unhoMne apane putra rUpa meM aMgIkAra kara liyaa| unake lAr3a-kor3a meM pala kara, eka dina tU sundara tejasvI yuvAna ho gayA / . . - - 'udhara terI sundarI mA~ vezikA ko coroM ne campA nagarI ke caurAhe para eka vezyA ke hAthoM beca diyaa| kAlAntara meM vaha apsarAoM ko bhI lajAne vAlI rUpasI, campA kI prakhyAta gaNikA ho gii| * * *aura vaizAyana, yogAyoga ki, tU vyApAra nimitta campA aayaa| eka rAta gaNikA-catvara ke kisI bhavana kI khir3akI para khar3I, eka paramA sundarI gaNikA para terI dRSTi par3a gaI / aniri thI vaha rUpa kI kajarArI moharAtri ! * * 'phUloM kI zaiyA para vArAMganA ko sammukha pA kara, tU usa cehare ko tAkatA hI raha gyaa| tere prANa jAne kaisI janmAntarINa viraha-vedanA se kAtara ho aaye| tere citta meM hillolita kAma sahasA hI avaruddha ho gyaa| * * vaha gaNikA tere nihore kara ke hAra gyii| para tU avicala, mUka patthara kA devatA ho rahA / * * 'tUne usa rUpasI ko apanI vedanA se vivaza kara diyA, ki vaha apanI pUrva-kathA sunAye / * * 'suna kara eka gaharI AzaMkA se tU sanna ho gyaa|

Page #130
120 ulaTe pairoM gobara grAma lauTa kara, tUne apane mAtA-pitA se apanA janma-vRttAnta kisI taraha nikalavA liyaa| ' 'o vezikA, vezyA, tu merI mAM hai ! maiM tere sAtha ramaNa karane AyA thA * * *!' usI Avega meM bhAga kara tU phira campA nagarI pahuMcA / apanI vezyAmAM ke caraNoM meM loTa kara tUne apanA Atma-nivedana kara diyaa| . . . * * 'pratyakSa abhI isa kSaNa anubhava kara rahA hU~, bichar3e mA~-beTe kA vaha gAr3ha AliMgana aura marmavedhI rudn| kuTTinI ko vipula dravya de kara tU apanI mA~ ko chur3A laayaa| aura use dharma-mArga meM sthApita kara, kucha dinoM bAda, eka rAta acAnaka mA~ se kahe binA hI tU nikala pdd'aa| terA citta saMsAra kI bhUmi se hI uccATita ho cukA thaa| tApasI pravrajyA le kara tU Atma-prApti kI khoja meM vyAkula, unman bhaTakane lgaa| * * dekha rahA hU~ Aja, grISma kI isa lU bharI dopaharI meM, tU kUrmagrAma AyA hai| vaTa-vRkSa ke mUloM-sI jaTAe~ dhAraNa kiye, AkAza meM hAtha pasAre, ThIka sUrya ke sanmukha apalaka dRSTi sthira kiye, AtApanA le rahA hai / abujha hai terI AtmA kI yAtanA / nirdhama agni-sA jAjvalyamAna tU, apanI hI antara-vahni meM nirantara apanI Ahuti de rahA hai| ati vinamra-vinIta hai terA bhAva / terA roma-roma dayA-dAkSiNya se AplAvita hai| samatva ke yogAsana para ArUr3ha hone ke liye vikala tU, apanI avacetanA meM baddhamUla janama-janama vyApI mohanI karma ke nAgacUr3oM se dAruNa yuddha kara rahA hai / tere dayArdra citta kI karuNA kA pAra nahIM / sUrya-kiraNoM ke tApa se udvigna ho, terI jaTAoM se jo jUe~ nIce khira rahI haiM, unheM tU phira se uThA-uThA kara apanI jaTAoM meM lauTA rahA hai, ki ve sUkSma jIva Azraya-cyuta na hoN| isa krUra saMsAra ke pramatta padAghAta tale ve kucala na jAyeM / * * 'hAya, ye becAre nanheM jIvANu, kahA~ jAyeMge? * * 'merI jaTAoM se bichar3a kara ye kahA~ AsarA pAyeMge ?' terI antara-AtmA kI homAgni se merA gaharA sarokAra hai, vaizAyana ! kyoMki vaha cirakAla ke santapta saMsAra kI puMjIbhUta duHkha-jvAlA hai| kuTila cakrapatha se cala kara eka dina vaha mere hI dvArA niyojita rAha se, mere kaivalya zarIra para AkramaNa kregii| usa cunautI kA uttara de kara, tIrthaMkara mahAvIra ko apanI arhattA pramANita karanA hogA / mere abhinna Atma-sahacara vaizAyana, hamAre prathama milana kI yaha ghar3I anivArya aura nirNAyaka hai| * * 'tere samakSa upasthita hU~, mitra vaizAyana ! eka bAra bhI A~kha uThA kara merI ora nahIM dekhegA, bandhu ? apanI jUoM se adhika, kyA saMsAra meM tujhe kucha bhI priya nahIM ? kyA maiM tere maila kI aNDaja ina jaMoM se bhI gayA-bItA hU~? manuSya ke kapaTa-kUTa aura krUratA se tU aisA nArAja ho gayA hai, mitra ? terI

Page #131
121 AtmA kI karuNA ne merI vItarAgatA ko dravita kara diyA hai| eka bAra idhara dekha, devAnupriya ! * * 'vicitra hai terI yaha Atma-dahana kI samAdhi, jisameM se karuNA ke azrujala jhara rahe haiN| - - vaizAyana kI agni-samAdhi ko bhaMga kiye binA gozAlaka ko caina nhiiN| usake ThIka sAmane khar3A ho vaha uddaNDa svara meM pUchane lagA : 'are to tApasa, kyA tU tatvajJAnI hai ? yA tU koI purAtana zaiyA-kAmI hai ? dhanya hai terA tapa, balihArI hai tere tatvajJAna kii| * * 'jUMe~ bInane meM kauna-sA tatvajJAna hai, o mUr3ha mati ? apane hI maila kI dayA pAlane meM kauna-sA dharma hai, he parama mUrkha ?' vaizAyana bahuta dera taka gozAle kI bakavAsa ko avicala titikSA se sahatA rhaa| pratikArahIna mauna se vaha usakI avagaNanA karatA rahA / tApasa ko niruttara pA kara gozAlA jhuMjhalA gyaa| vaha mere pAsa A kara kahane lagA : 'bhante, tApasa ke veza meM yaha koI pizAca hai kyA ? auMdhA laTaka kara apanI hI deha kA chUTA maila cATane meM yaha magana hai / aura apane ko koI mahAtapasvI samajha rahA hai| uttara taka nahIM detA yaha pAkhaNDI / aura aisA ghamaMDI , ki devArya kI ora A~kha uThA kara taka nahIM dekhtaa| isa pizAca kI lIlA se naraloka ko bacAo, bhagavan !' tApasa ke dhairya kA sumeru visphoTita ho uThA : 'naraloka * * ? o narapizAcoM kI santAna, mahA narapizAca, le jAna ki maiM kauna hU~ . . .!' __ aura vaizAyana kA nAbhi-kamala haThAt phaTa pdd'aa| eka vikarAla satyAnAzI jvAlA kI lapaTa, usameM se tIra kI taraha chUTa kara gozAlaka ke kapAla para jA ttkraaii| gozAlAka bhISaNa dAvAgni kI asahya lapaToM meM ghirA Akranda karatA huA tANDava karane lagA / mAno mAnavatA kA jaMgala apanI hI Aga meM jala rahA hai| ' . . 'o vaizAyana, apanI tejo-lezyA kA AghAta kiyA hai tUne, manuSya kI sArI jAti para ! terA koI doSa nahIM, vatsa, aparAdhI maiM hU~ / maiM manuSya kA prathama aura antima bettaa| zAnta ho mitra, zAnta ho| apane bhAI ko nahIM pahacAnegA re . . ?' * * *aura haThAt mere hRdaya ke zrIvatsa cihna meM se sahasroM jaladhArAe~ phUTa kara, gozAlaka kA dAha zamana karatI huI, vaizAyana kA AcUr3a abhiSeka karane lgiiN|

Page #132
122 'kSamA kareM bhagavan ! anAthoM ke ekameva nAtha ! merI cira kAla kI santapta AtmA ke pahale AtmIya ! acUka bAndhava ! : - 'akSamya aparAdha ho gayA mujha se| tIra mere hAtha se nikala cukA hai| * * 'hAya maiM tumhArA hatyArA ho gayA, mahAvIra ! ho sake to usa tIra ko lauTAo, bhagavan / ' 'tIra ThIka chUTA hai, aura vaha apanA lakSyavedha karake hI lauTegA, vatsa / hatyArA tumhAre hI sanmukha khar3A hai, devAnupriya , phira cintA kisa bAta kI ?' 'khammA, khammA, devArya ! hatyArA to maiM hU~, svAmI / ' 'isa lie, ki isase pUrva kabhI maiM terA hatyArA thaa| : / paraspara devobhava, Atman / kevala yahI maMtra hatyA kI isa cira purAtana zRMkhalA ko tor3a sakatA 'evamastu, mahAzramaNa / arhat zAzvatoM meM lokAloka para zAsana kareM !' aura vaizAyana bhUmiSTha praNipAta kara. niHsaMga bhAva se apane ekAkI yAtrApaMtha para nikala par3A / . . . 'bhante, bar3A vikaTa hai yaha tApasa / isakI nAbhi kyA hai, mAnoM agnibANoM kA tUNIra hai| isa camatkAra kA rahasya batAyeM, prabhu / ' 'tejo lezyA * * *!' 'yaha kyA koI siddhi hai, bhagavan ? isa labdhi ko prApta karane kA upAya batAyeM, bhagavan / ' 'sampUrNa Atmadamana / dAruNa tapasyA dvArA deha, prANa, indriya, mana kA Atmagopana / tapa kI bhasma se DhaMkI, cirakAla ke saMcita kaSAyoM kI ekAgra agni / jo antima AghAta pA kara, antima pratyAghAta karatI hai|' 'isa siddhi kI koI vidhi, bhante ?' jisa astra ke AghAta para, eka dina merI arhattA ko kasauTI para siddha honA hai, usake sandhAna kI vidhi ko yathA samaya prahAraka ke hAthoM sauMpe binA nistAra kahA~ ? so zramaNa ke mukha se sahaja hI vaha vidhi uccarita ho gii| gozAlaka vidyA-taMtra pA kara harSa-vibhora ho rahA / 'aura Apake hRdaya se pravAhita ye jaladhArAe~, bhante ? jAna par3atA hai, Apake hRdaya meM na jAne kitane jharane chupe par3e haiN| apane cira kiMkara ko isakA bhI rahasya samajhAyeM, bhante / ' 'zIta lezyA . . .!'

Page #133
123 'yaha kahA~ se AtI hai, bhagavan ? isakI siddhi kA koI upAya, bhante ?' 'yaha soddezya siddhi nahIM / yaha niruddezya, nirvikalpa Atmasiddhi kA svAbhAvika pariNAma / yogI jaba samatva ke siMhAsana para ArUr3ha ho jAtA hai, to kaSAyasantapta jIvoM ke kalyANArtha yaha svataH prakaTa hotI hai / ' 'to yaha zItalezyA, tejolezyA kA pratikAra hai, bhante ?' 'yogI kaSAya kA pratikAra nahIM karatA, samUla saMhAra karatA hai, samAhAra karatA hai / pratikAra ahaMkAra meM se AtA hai / yogI nirahaMkAra hotA hai / ' 'isakI koI vidhi, bhante ? ' 'sampUrNa nividhi ho jAnA / ' 'aba, bhante, aisA hai ki nirvidhi ko lekara kyA karU~gA / vaha to jaba honA hogA, ApoApa ho hI jAU~gA, ApakI kRpA se / usakI cintA abhI se, aura maiM kyoM karU~ ?' 'to phira tU zramaNa kaisA ?' 'mahAzramaNa kA ziSya hU~, to zramaNa to hU~ hI, bhante / so Apake mahAzrama kA prasAda to mujhe ApoApa hI mila jaayegaa| phira mujhe kyA cintA / ' 'evamastu / ' 'dhanya haiM, bhante / dInAnAtha ! ' 'bujjhaha, bujjhaha, gozAla / pratikramaNa pratikramaNa pratikramaNa gozAlaka eka vidyuta dhArA se jhanajhanAyA - sA zramaNa kI ora tAkatA gayA / siddhArthapura ke mArga para vihAra karate hue, eka sthala ko cInha kara haThAt gozAlaka bolA : 'he svAmI, Apake kahe anusAra vaha tila kA kSupa to ugA nahIM / ' 'ugA hai, vaha yahIM para hai / ' gozAlaka kI dRSTi tatkAla usa uge hue tila-kSupa para par3a gii| usane usakI phalI ko tor3a kara use ciiraa| usameM ThIka tila ke sAta dAne aMkurita the / vaha Azcarya se stabdha / kSaNa bhara soca magna raha kara vaha budabudAyA : 'zarIra kA parAvartana karake jIva phira jahA~ ke tahA~ utpanna hote haiM ! ' 'jIva kA kArmika parAvartana, kevalI -gamya hai, mAnuSa buddhi se usakA antima vidhAna sambhava nahIM !'

Page #134
124 'para Apane to kiyA, bhante ?' 'vaha vidhAna nahIM / jo dekhA, vahI khaa| jahA~ taka dekhA, vahA~ taka kahA / ' gozAlaka cupacApa bahuta dUra taka anusaraNa karatA rahA / eka tirAhe para,. zrAvastI kA mArga mur3atA thaa| vahIM aTaka kara bolA : 'bhante, AjJA deM, zrAvastI jAU~gA / tejolezyA siddha kiye binA caina nahIM / ' zramaNa ne koI uttara nahIM diyA / aTala bhavitavya - rekhA ko dekhate, vaha apane patha para ekAgra ArUr3ha rahA / gozAlaka zrAvastI kI rAha para mur3a gayA / 'kAla-pravAha meM dUra para dekha rahA hU~ / 'tejolezyA siddha gozAlaka, aneka - Rddhi-siddhi se sampanna ho kara, mUr3ha loka-janoM ko AtaMkita karatA huA, prabhutA - pramatta bhAva se pRthvI para vicaraNa kara rahA hai| tIrthaMkara pArzva ke chaha ziSyazoNa, kaliMda, kArNikAra, acchidra, agnivezAna tathA arjuna use zrAvastI meM daivAt mila gaye / unase aSTAMga nimittajJAna sIkha kara, saMsArI manuSyoM ke bhAgya aura bhaviSya kA nirNaya karatA huA, vaha sarvatra apane ko 'jinezvara' udghoSita karatA ghUma rahA hai / vaha apane ko AjIvika paramparA kA cama tIrthaMkara kahatA hai, aura ajJAnI lokajana usake caraNoM meM praNata ho, usakA anusaraNa karate haiM / prabhutA ke pyAse maMkhali gozAla, pazcAttApa kI jvAlAoM ke bIca eka dina terA yaha ahaMkAra bhasma ho kara sohaMkAra ho jAyegA / Aja tU prabhutA ke pIche bhAga rahA hai / usa dina prabhutA svayam terA varaNa karegI / evamastu / jagata ke sAre rAste kyA vaizAlI hI jAte haiM ? phira vaizAlI ke vizva-vikhyAta pramada - kAnana 'mahAvana' ke sugandha-nivir3a a~dhiyAroM meM vicara rahA hU~ / vaizAlI, terI umbelA ke gopana guhAdeza ko bheda kara hI merA mArga jAtA hai| tere keli-magna yuvA-yuvatiyoM ke pyAloM kI madirA sahasA hI Aga ho uThI haiM / mUrcchita yugaloM ke AliMgana ekAeka TUTa gaye haiM unake surA-caSaka hAthoM se chUTa kara phUTa gaye haiM / cintA na karo, tumhAre drAkSAvanoM ke aMgUroM meM maiM hI Alor3ita huuN| maiM hI tumhArI surAoM meM visphoTita ho kara jala rahA hU~ / maiM hI tumhArA AliMgana hU~, yuvAjano, usase chUTa kara hI mujhe pahacAnoge ! : o, * * 'apane bhUzAyI kezoM ko sa~vArate hue, AmrapAlI, tuma haThAt cauMka uThI ho| tumhAre kuntaloM kA tamAlavana yaha kisakI satyAnAzI pagacApa

Page #135
125 se haharA uThA hai? vaizAlI kA durgabheda, inhIM suraMgoM se sambhava hai| anya upAya nhiiN| * * 'vizAlA ke zaMkha gaNarAja, apanA samasta parivAra aura parikara le kara tuma kisakI vandanA ko Aye ho ? yaha ni ma nagna jvAlA, aba pUjA-vandanA se Uba cukI hai| vaha tumhAre samasta kI Ahuti cAhatI hai| bhikSuka kI aMjulI samasta vaizAlI ke vaibhava kA AhAradAna cAhatI hai| lauTa kara jaba taka, saMthAgAra meM khabara doge, tumhAre azvArohI vyartha hI dizAoM ko khuudeNge| pakar3a meM na Ane vAlI dizAoM se alaga, ve digambara ko anyatra kahA~ khojeMge? * Age bar3ha kara vANijya grAma kI maMDikIkA nadI ke taTa para A khar3A huA huuN| nadI cAhatI hai ki maiM use pAra kruuN| ki maiM usakI laharoM para cluuN| calane ko udyata huA ki tabhI dekhatA hU~ ki eka nAvika taTa para nAva lagA kara, prArthI hai ki usakI nAva para car3ha kara nadI pAra kruuN| tathAstu / nAva para pAra ke taTa para A lagI hai| madhyAnha ke sUrya se tapI reta para utarA, ki nAvika ne hAtha phailA kara utarAI kA mUlya mA~gA / bhikSaka ke pAsa mUlya kahA~ ? jalatI bAlU para, vaha akiMcitkara, nispanda khar3A raha gayA hai| kavaTa ne donoM hAtha reta meM pasAra kara usake pairoM ko ghera liyA hai / mUlya cakAye binA bhikSuka kI nirgati nahIM / bhikSuka ne mayUra-pIchI se nAvika ke tapta bAla meM gar3e mAthe ko thapathapA diyaa| usake kamaMDalu se kucha jala bindu kevaTa ke ughAr3e kAle tana para cU pdd'e| ___ 'nAtha, tara gayA / tAranahAra ko pAra utArane vAlA maiM kauna ? bhUla ho gayI, bhante, ajJAnI ko kSamA kreN|' 'kRtArtha huA maiM, nAvika / bhikSuka ko tumane apanI bhujAoM para apane hI pAra utAra kara uRNa kiyA hai| tumhArA mUlya kauna cukA sakatA hai ?' 'pAra to maiM huA, nAtha, svayam tAranahAra kI bA~hoM meN|' 'tathAstu * * !' sAnuyaSTika grAma ke padmazrI-upavana meM praveza karate hI eka prabala vidyuta dhArA se zirA-zirA UrjAyita ho uThI hai| dhyAnastha hote hI dekhA ki cetanA

Page #136
126 ke naye hI paTaloM meM utkrAnta ho rahA hU~ / deha, prANa, iMdriya, mana para apanA koI adhikAra nahIM raha gayA hai| antazcetanA ke kendra meM AsIna eka jyotidehI sundarI kI goda meM utsaMsagita ho gayA huuN| yoga kI eka apUrvajJAta mudrA meM usane mujhe unnIta kiyA hai| . . . * 'sphurita huI bhItara eka bhAsvara dhvani : bhadrA prtimaa| * * 'apane ko pUrvAbhimukha, bhadrAsana meM upasthApita dekha rahA huuN| eka hI pudgala-paramANu para dRSTi sthira ho gayI hai| apAra pudgala dravya kI rAziyA~ samudra kI laharoM kI taraha jvArita hotI huI, isa ekameva lakSya-bindu meM nirvApita hotI calI jA rahI haiN| annamaya koza sarpa ke tyakta nirmoka ke samAna, sAmane jhar3akara isI ekameva pudgalANu meM saMvilIna ho gayA hai| eka pUrA dina pUrva dizA meM hI yaha yoga-yAtrA calatI rahI / phira usI rAtri ko dakSiNAbhimukha hone para, dakSiNa dizA kA samasta pudgala-vizva dhArAsAra isa eka mAtra pudgala-paramANu kI raktezvarI jyoti meM vilIyamAna hotA rahA / dUsare dina pazcimAbhimukha, aura dUsarI rAtri ko uttarAbhimukha bhadrAsana meM yahI yoga-kriyA avirAma calatI rhii| bhadrA ke samApana para, bhItara ke nAbhi-kamala meM eka vicitra kezariyA jvAlA amRta-prAzana ke liye uddIpta dikhAI par3I / aura usake uttara meM zrIyoginI mahAbhadrA ne mujhe apane stana-maNDala para khIMca liyA / yahA~ merI zirAzirA meM eka adbhuta saundarya aura yauvana rasa kA AplAvana hone lgaa| raharaha kara zvetezvarI aura kRSNezvarI jyotiyA~ apane A~cala meM kramazaH mujhe tapAtI aura nahalAtI rhiiN| cAroM dizAoM meM kramazaH cAra ahorAtra yaha prakriyA calatI rhii| ikSu, geMhU~, tIsI, sarasoM ke hariyAle, ujale, nIle, pIle kheta romAliyoM meM laharAte dIkhe : sArI deha nAnAraMgI phUla vanoM, kamala vanoM aura phala vanoM se namrIbhUta ho AI : aura maiM usase atikrAnta hotA huA kisI apUrvajAta kAmaloka meM prastArita hotA calA gyaa| . . * * 'sahasA hI apane ko eka kalpa kAnana ke nIla sarovara ke taTAnta para upasthita dekhA / mahAbhadrA pIche chUTe kalpavRkSoM kI bahuraMgI jyotir-chAyAoM meM ojhala hotI diikhii| * * 'ki haTAt eka nilAMginI nIlimA ne mujhe AcUr3a AzleSita kara liyaa| taccinmayo nIlimA' kI maMtradhvani se samasta cetanA Urjasvala ho utthii| * 'mahAyoginI sarvato bhadrA kA yaha AzleSa merI aura vizva kI samagra vividharUpiNI sattA ko, eka mahInAtimahIna sunIla prabhA ke athAha meM keli-taraMgita karane lagA / eka deza-kAlottIrNa nIla jyotirabindu meM sAre lokAloka eka bAragI hI apasArita aura prastArita hote dikhAI pdd'e| usa binduvAsinI cinmaNi bAlA kA saundarya rUpAtIta, zabdAtIta hote

Page #137
hue bhI, sArI hI indriyoM ke sukhoM kI ekAgra aura aparampAra paritRpti meM mujhe paryavasita kiye de rahA hai / sparzendriya se pare kA yaha sparzana, apane hI bhItara Urmila aisA gahana mArdava aura Alor3ana hai ki aindrika bhASA meM vaha kathya nahIM / 127 dasoM dizAoM meM kramazaH eka-eka ahorAtra avasthAna aura atikramaNa karate hue, parAyoginI sarvatobhadrA ke sarvAliMgana meM kAla ko mahAkAla meM nirvANa pAte dekhA / Urdhva aura adho dizAoM ke pudgala - paramANuoM meM jaba yugapat ArohaNa aura avarohaNa kA saMyukta abhisAra huA, usa samaya saMsAra aura nirvANa kI bhedarekhA anAyAsa tirohita hotI dIkhI / rUpa aura rUpAtIta meM eka adbhuta sAmarasya kI anubhUti se cetanA vizrabdha ho gaI / aisA lagA ki sarvatobhadrA ne loka ke sarvatomukhI maMgala-kalyANa kI mAMtrika- vidyut se mere samasta rudhira - pravAha ko UrjAyita kara diyA hai / so isa ratnatrayI pratimAyoga se avarUr3ha hote hI, maiMne lokAlaya kA atyanta USma AmaMtraNa anubhava kiyA / sAnuyaSTika grAma meM praveza karate hI Ananda zrAvaka ke dvAra para apane ko upasthita pAyA / dekhA, vahA~ usakI dAsI bahulA pAta dho rahI hai / mujhe sammukha pA vaha bahuta asamaMjasa meM par3a gaI / vastu avastu kA bhAna hI use na rahA / bhAva-vibhora ho kara usane apane liye nikAlA huA ThaMDA anna aMjuli meM le kara mujhe arpita kiyA / bhikSuka ne pANi- pAtra meM use sahaja jhela liyA / 'dAsI bhikSuka kI vaha samarasa mudrA dekha kara, apanI vivazatA para Akrandana kara uThI : ." 'hAya nAtha, tribhuvanapati, maiM abhAgina- dAsI yaha chUTA huA jUThA, ThaNDA anna hI to mere pAsa hai 'bhikSuka tere bhojana kA sahabhAgI hai, kalyANI ! ' 'nA nA nA svAmI, maiM dInA, malinA, raMkinI dAsI / aura tuma kyA dUM tumheM / apane bhAga kA ''' 'sarvatobhadra puruSa / dAsoM kA dAsa, svAmiyoM kA svAmI / ' 'hAya, "yaha kyA ? ThaMDe, jUThe taMdula kyA hue mere ? svAmI ke pANi-pAtra meM yaha kaisA devabhoga ! ' Jain Educationa International 'eka hI dravya / kSaNa-kSaNa nava-nUtana paryAya / divya bhojana bhI vahI, jUThana bhI vahI / dAsI bhI vahI, devI bhI vahI / .' For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #138
128 'bhagavan, mAnuSa ke dAsatva se mukta karo / ina caraNoM kI dAsI banA lo* * *!' 'evamastu, devI bahulA * * !' * * 'apane pIche divya vINA vAdana karatI devAgaMnAoM ke bIca, bahulA dAsI kA rAnI-pada para abhiSeka hote dekha rahA huuN| Ananda gRhapati bahulA kA caraNodaka le, dUra jA rahe bhikSuka ke pIche bhAgA / usane zramaNa kI pIche chUTI pagadhUli meM loTa kara zramaNa kA kamaNDalu uThAnA cAhA / ___'abhI samaya nahIM AyA, zreSTi / bahulA kA sevaka ho kara raha / kalyANamastu . !' zramaNa ne mayUra-pIchI se Ananda gRhapati kA vakSa-deza buhAra diyA, aura apanI rAha prasthAna kara gayA /

Page #139
mArajayI madana-mohana phira mlecchoM kI dRr3ha-bhUmi ne pukArA hai / so Arya bhUmi kI sImA kA atikramaNa kara mleccha deza meM vicara rahA huuN| rote hue kuttoM ke eka pUre kSitija ne yahA~ merA svAgata kiyA hai| Adi purAtana vaTa vRkSoM ke jaTAjAla se chAye eka bhUtihA vana kI koTaroM meM se eka sAtha kaI ulUkoM kI hulu-dhvani raha-raha kara sunAI par3atI hai| kisI carama maMgala kA sandeza isameM bujha rahA huuN| ____ mlecchoM ke per3hAla grAma ke nikaTa, polAsa nAmA caitya-upavana meM praveza kara, jhilliyoM kI jhanakAra-dhvani ke bIca eka bhImakAya zilA para ArUr3ha ho gyaa| jhillI-rava, ulUka-dhvani aura zvAna-rudana ke samaveta saMgIta kI dhArA meM dhyAnastha cetanA Urdhva se Urdhvatara antarikSoM meM uDDIyamAna hotI calI gii| "haThAt AkAza kA koI sunIla taTAnta visphoTita ho kara, eka vizAla nIlamI toraNa meM khula gyaa| * * 'sAmane dikhAI par3a rahI hai zakendra kI sudhrmaa-sbhaa| jIvanta ratnoM kI nAnAraMgI prabhAoM se dIpita virATa aishyrylok| caurAsI haz2Ara sAmAnika devatA, taitIsa trAyatriMza devatA, tIna prakAra kI maMDalAkAra deva-sabhAe~, cAra lokapAla, asaMkhya prakIrNaka devtaa| cAroM dizAoM meM dRDha parikara bA~dhe caurAsI haz2Ara aMgarakSaka / vipula deva-sainya se AvRta sAta senApati devendra / sevaka vargIya Abhiyogika deva-deviyoM kA gaNasamUha / kilviSyAdika devatAoM kA vizAla parivAra / isa saba deva-parikara ke kendra meM dakSiNa lokArddha ke rakSaka saudharma indrezvara apane uttuMga zaMkhAkAra siMhAsana para nAgamaNiyoM ke vipulAkRti chatra tale AsIna haiN| kinnariyA~ aura apsarAe~ nRtya-saMgIta se unakA manoraMjana kara rahI haiN| haThAt zakendra siMhAsana tyAga kara uTha khar3e hue| pAdukAe~ utAra Age bar3ha aaye| uttarAsaMga se bhUmi-zodhana kara apanA dAyA~ jAnu pRthvI para sthApita kiyA tathA bAyeM jAnu ko kiMcit jhukA kara zakra-stavana se ve prabhu kI vandanA karane lge| phira vahIM bhami para jAnuoM ke bala baiTa kara, romAMcita aura galadazru ho kara apanI deva-sabhA ko yoM sambodhana karane lage

Page #140
130 'ore saudharma kalpa-svarga ke devatAo, isa kSaNa pratyakSa A~khoM ke sAmane maiM mleccha bhumi meM dhyAnastha mahAtapasvI mahAvIra prabhu kA darzana kara rahA huuN| paMca samitiyoM ke dhAraka, tIna guptiyoM se pavitra, krodha, mAna, mAyA aura lobha se ajeya, karmAzrava rahita aura dravya, kSetra, kAla, bhAva sambandhI sAre hI pratibaMdhoM se apratibaddha ve yogIzvara bhagavanta isa samaya eka rUkSa pudgala para dRSTi sthira karake mahAdhyAna meM lIna haiN| devatA, asura, yakSa, rAkSasa, uraga, manuSya, are trailokya kI koI bhI zakti unheM isa samAdhi se vicalita karane meM samartha nhiiN| . . .' deva-sabhA ke eka kone meM baiThA sAmAnika saMgama deva, zakrendra kI yaha stuti suna kara vikSubdha ho utthaa| bhRkuTi kuMcita kara, kopAgni se dahakate netroM ke sAtha, kA~pate oThoM se vaha bolA: ___he zakrendra, eka zramaNa rUpadhArI baune manuSya kI aisI prazaMsA kara rahe ho? eka martya manuja ke sammukha svargoM ke adhIzvara ne parAjaya svIkAra lI? yaha tumhArA svacchaMdAcAra hai, surendra ! devoM kI samasta jAti ko Aja tumane lAMchita aura apamAnita kiyA hai| jisake zikhara AkAza ko avaruddha kiye haiM, jisake mUla rasAtala kA bhedana karate haiM, aise sumeru giri ko bhI apane bhujabala se ucchinna kara eka Dhele kI taraha uThA pheMkane meM samartha haiM hama devatAgaNa / kulAcaloM sahita pRthvI ko apane meM DubA lene kI kSamatA rakhane vAle svayambhuramaNa samudra kA mAtra gaMDUSa (kullA) karake hama use havA meM uchAla sakate haiN| aneka parvatoM se maMDita isa pracaNDa pRthvI ko hama apane bAhudaNDa para uThA kara chatra kI taraha dhAraNa kara sakate haiN| aise atula samRddhizAlI, amita parAkramI aura icchAnusAra siddhi prApta karane vAle hama kalpavAsI devoM ke samakSa, isa mAnuSa tanadhArI tuccha tApasa kI kyA hastI hai ? zakendra suneM, sAre svarga suneM, samasta devagaNa suneM, maiM eka nimiSa mAtra meM usa nagna vAmana ko dhyAna se calAyamAna kara dharAzAyI kara duuNgaa| ...' itanA kaha kara saMgama deva ne pracaMDa vega se bhUmi para hAtha-paira pachAr3e aura vaha sudharmA sabhA se palAyana kara gyaa| saudharmendra eka macchara kI taraha usa kaSAya-pramatta deva kI avajJA kara, phira se nRtya-saMgIta ke Ananda meM lIna ho gaye / dhyAna kI ucca se uccatara saraNiyoM meM ArUr3ha ho rahA huuN| merI deha kI pRthvI cUrNita parvata kI taraha nIce kI ora jhar3a rahI hai| jala, vAyu, anala, AkAza ko apane cAroM ora bhA~vare dete anubhava kara rahA huuN| eka bhAravihIna adhara meM cetanA unmukta paMchI sI taira rahI hai|

Page #141
131 tabhI pralayakAla kI jAjvalyamAna agni ke samAna, ghanaghora meghanAda karatI huI, eka raudra AkRti sAmane dhaMsa AtI dikhAI pdd'ii| apanI bAhuoM aura jA~ghoM para AghAta karate usake uddaNDa paMjoM para jaise graha-maMDala tharatharA rahe haiN| sahasA hI una paMjoM ne antarikSa ko vidIrNa kara diyaa| eka bAragI hI asaMkhyoM rAtriyoM ke puMjIbhUta andhakAra jaisI raja dhArAsAra mujha para barasane lagI hai| . . . phira paMca-tatvoM ke skandhoM se Abaddha ho gayA hai merA zarIra / merI nipaTa mAnuSa deha ke sAre dvAra isa antahIna raja-varSA se avaruddha ho gaye haiN| zvAsoM meM aisI ghuTana hai ki prANa chUTane kI anI para pahu~ca gaye haiN| roma-roma pise hue kAle kA~coM kI isa dhUli se vidIrNa ho rahe haiN| o mere zarIra, tU vyAkula na ho : terI vedanA mere hI kAraNa to hai| maiM jo prANa hU~, AghAta ora saMvedana ko anubhUti karane ko kSamatA rakhatA huuN| * * maiM saha rahA hU~ tere sAre saMtrAsoM ko : ki parAkASTA taka inheM sahakara, ho sake to tujhe bhI sadA ko AghAtya kara duuN| kyoMki antata: maiM avadhya hU~, aura kaSTagrAhI prANacetanA se uttIrNa ho kara apane svabhAvagata amRta meM Atmastha ho sakatA huuN| sAre AghAtoM ko saha kara, ho sake to apane cidAmRta se tujhe bhI abhisiMcita kara denA cAhatA huuN| * * 'usa samasta raja ko niHzeSa apane meM dhAraNa kara maiMne zvAsa rodha kara diyaa| mere nispanda, anAhata zarIra para ho rahI rajovarSA sahasA hI staMbhita ho gayI / bhItara jAne kitane hI anAdikAlIna karmoM ke bhUbhRta cUra-cUra ho kara, mere AjJAcakra meM uTha rahI jJAnAgni meM bhasmIbhUta ho gye| mere bhItara kI zilIbhUta raja ne hI to bikhara kara, cAroM ora se phira mujha para antima AkramaNa kiyA thaa| isa liye ki vaha raha hI na jAye, samApta ho jAye / * * * aura aucaka hI dekha rahA hU~, astAcala ke sAre mAyA-paTaloM ko chinna-bhinna kara, navIna candramA kI taraha apane hI bhItara ke zAzvata udayAcala para zIrSArUr3ha ho gayA hU~ / . : 'oha, yaha kyA huA ki merA AcUr3a zarIra asaMkhya lAla cITiyoM se AcchAdita ho gayA hai| mere pora-pora ko ye apane mukhAgra ke anIle daMzoM se isa taraha bIMdha rahI haiM, jaise bezumAra suiyo kisI vastra ko sItI huI ArapAra ho rahI haiN| kyA merI nagna kAyA para ina nanhIM prANa-bAlikAoM ko dayA A gaI hai, ki apanI mukha-sUciyoM se ye mere tana para sadA ke liye koI vastra buna kara mI denA cAhatI hai| jo sAdhana inake pAsa hai, usI se to ye merI tana-rakSA kA jatana kara rahI haiN| pIr3A cAhe jitanI hI kyoM na ho, ina ajJAninI bAlikAoM ke isa ghanIbhUta pyAra ko sahe binA nistAra kahA~ hai ? kRtajJa hI to

Page #142
132 ho sakatA hU~ inkaa| kyoMki calanI ho gaye zarIra meM inhoMne naI havA ke jharokhe khola diye haiN| aura isa saMjIvanI prANavAyu ke saMcAra se merI cetanA suSumnA kI gaharI sukhada zaiyA meM tandrAlIna-sI ho gaI hai| . . . khule vAtAyanoM kI sugandhita vAyu se AkRSTa ho kara, cAroM ora kI gandI havA se nipaje DA~sa bhI mere bhItara makta sA~sa lene ko cale aaye| apane prANa meM vyApta kaluSa ko bAhara ur3ela dene ko ve akulA uThe haiN| hara jIva kI kSudhA, tRSA, vAsanA Akhira to mukti pAne kI eka chaTapaTAhaTa hI hai na ? so ve DA~sa apanI rakta-pipAsA se vyAkula ho kara merI rakta-zirAoM ko kasa kara cUsane-cUmane lge| unake dAhaka cumbanoM se merI yoga-taMdrA bhaMga ho gaI / maiMne apane TIsate zarIra kI ora dRSTipAta kiyA : usakI vedanA ko saMvedita kiyaa| * * * lagA ki nipaTa gAya ho gayA huuN| aura apane dhAvana ke liye vikala baccoM ko tRpta karane ke liye mere roMye-roMye meM stana phUTa Aye haiM, aura ve dUdha se umar3ate hue una nanheM DA~soM ke mukha meM anavarata baha rahe haiN| * * * apanI isa raktasnAta deha ko dekhakara, indroM ke dvArA kSIra-samudra ke jala se abhiSikta, sumerugiri kI pAMDuka-zilA para virAjamAna tIrthaMkara-zizu kI dugdha-snAta chabi A~khoM meM jhalaka uThI hai| usa zizu ke liye Aja prANi mAtra kI kAmadhenu banane ke sivAya aura cArA hI kyA hai ? kaisA hI kaSTa-saMtrAsa kyoM na ho, vaha merI niyati ko siddha karane ke liye hI to hai| __ svajana, zaiyA aura ghara kA tyAga kiye dasa barasa ho gaye haiN| ina barasoM meM dharatI aura AkAza taka ke avalamba ko asvIkArate hI banA hai| apanI dharatI aura apanA AkAza svayam hI ho jAne ko vivaza huA huuN| isI kAraNa, sahanA hI merA svabhAva ho gayA hai| vedanA bhI vallabhA-sI hI priya lagatI hai| eka mAtra kaSTa hI to pratipala kA saMgI ho gayA hai| zatra bana kara vaha AyA thA aura mitra bana kara raha gayA hai| kintu pIr3A denA usakA svabhAva hai, so use svIkAre binA nistAra nhiiN| mAnuSa tanadhArI ho kara, pIr3A se pare hone kA dambha kaise kara sakatA huuN| lekina nirantara AkrAntiyoM aura vipattiyoM meM jIne ke kAraNa pIr3A ko aNu-pratiaNu dekhanA sIkha gayA hU~ / sampUrNa saMcetanA ke sAtha use sahatA hU~, dekhatA hU~, to parAkASThA para pahu~ca kara usakA prabhAva samApta ho jAtA hai / huA yaha hai ki cIz2oM ko dekhane kI daSTi hI isa bIca badala gaI hai| khaNDa para ruka nahIM pAtA hU~, to akhaNDa kA sAmanA hue binA nahIM rahatA / / * * 'sthiratA bhItara adhikAdhika ghanIbhUta ho rahI hai / * * 'are yaha kyA huA ki isa ghanatva meM jAne kaise kasIle cipakAva kA ahasAsa ho rahA hai / kisI pakar3a kA eka bahumukhI paMjA sAre zarIra ko jakar3e le rahA hai| oha, hajAroM

Page #143
133 kanakhajUre aura keMkar3e jAne kahA~ se A kara mere zarIra ke cappe-cappe se cipaTa gaye haiM / apane bezumAra hAtha-pairoM se inhoMne mere deha-piNDa ke hara pradeza ko jaise kaI-kaI sa~DAsiyoM se jakar3a kara asahya vedanA utpanna kI hai| aise kasa kara ye jar3ita ho gaye haiM mere aMga-pratyaMgoM se, ki jAna par3atA hai, mere zarIra meM alaga inakA aura koI astitva hI nahIM hai| jaise ye merI kAyA meM se hI phUTI, usakI svAbhAvika romAliyA~ haiN| lomaharSaNa ho rahA hai, bezaka isa saMtrAsa se, para apane hI lomaja ina jantuoM ko kyA apane tana se ukhAr3A jA sakatA hai, alaga kiyA jA sakatA hai ? yadi isa tana ko svIkArA hai, to isake ina jAyoM ko kaise nkaaruuN| * * 'balki dekha rahA hU~, ki mere hara avayava meM ina jIvadhAriyoM ne paraspara guMtha kara koI adbhuta zilpa racanA kara dI hai| jaise yuga-yugAntaroM ke ArapAra cala rahI kAla kI tamAma lIlAe~ kisI Adima caTTAna para eka bAragI hI utkINita ho gaI haiM / sattA ke isa samagra saundarya ko apane hI bhItara se prakaTa hote dekha rahA hU~, to ise asvIkArane kI dhRSTatA kaise kara sakatA hU~ ? * *aura anAyAsa pAyA ki dhyAna meM eka aura bhI uccatara cetanA-zreNI para ArUr3ha ho kara stabdha ho gayA huuN| * * 'kintu agale hI kSaNa , yaha kaisI nIlIharI lahareM mere rakta ko vikSubdha kara uThI haiN| koI antahIna kaTIlA tAra mAnoM merI pagataliyoM kI zirAoM meM biddha ho kara, mere samUce snAyu-maMDala meM vyApatA huA, merI sahasroM nAr3iyoM ke zAkhA-jAloM ko Ara-pAra bhedatA huA, mere hRdaya kI kendrIya dhamanI meM kuNDIkRta ho rahA hai / daihika vedanA itanI kuMcita aura viSama bhI ho sakatI hai, isakI to kabhI kalpanA bhI na kI thii| usake hara sambhava prakAra ko bhoge aura jAne binA mahAvIra kI AtmA ko caina nahIM hai / sampUrNa use jAne binA, sampUrNa kaise jItA jA sakatA hai / * * 'dekha rahA hU~ mere tana-pudgaloM ke skandha ina DaMkhoM se chinna hue jA rahe haiM aura zarIra aura adhika sAtha dene ko taiyAra nhiiN| kisa pudgala zakti ne prANavedha kI yaha guthIlI vedanA utpanna kI hai ? dhyAna kI UrdhvagAmI zreNi se nIce avarUr3ha hone ko vivaza huaa| * * 'oha, bicchuoM kA eka aparampAra jaMgala ! bicchuoM kI nadiyA~, bicchuoM ke aise vipula per3a, jinakI hara DAla-DAla pattIpattI bicchU hai / mUla se cala taka aura sArI paridhi meM kevala daMzAkula bicchuoM kI eka antahIna pRthvI / ve maMDalAkAra cakarAte hue, DaMkha mArate hue mere zarIra ke samasta paramANu-maMDala meM vyApta ho gaye haiN| apane hI rakta kI bUMda-bUMda bicchU ho kara apanI ka~TIlI paMcha se apane hI ko daMza kara rahI hai| __ * * sahasA hI mA~sa banda ho kara, hRdaya-deza ke anAhata cakra meM laya pA gaI / eka Adima mA~kala jaise acAnaka eka hI jhaTake meM TUTa gii| usakI kar3iyA~ moma-sI gala-gala kara bikhara gii| kahA~ gaI vaha bichuoM kI ananta

Page #144
134 maNDalAkAra pRthvI ? kahIM koI cihna usakA zeSa nahIM hai padArtha ke jagata meN| kyA vaha mere bhItara se uThakara, mere hI bhItara vijita ho gaI * * *? prazna ke uttara meM, kisI atala meM nirvApita ho rahA, ki jahA~ eka akatha svayaMbodha ke atirikta aura kucha bhI zeSa nahIM hai| ___ . . 'isa atala meM se ekAeka yaha kaise eka tala kA AvirbhAva huA hai| apane hI zarIra ko eka sapATI kI taraha vyApate dekha rahA huuN| aura usa para anaginatI nakula cAroM ora daur3ate hue kolAhala kara rahe haiN| apanI ugra DAr3hoM se ve merI deha kI dharatI meM kudAliyA~-sI mAra kara use phor3a rahe haiM, tor3a rahe haiM / mAMsa ke Tukar3e kaI AkAroM meM TUTa-TUTa kara, eka pattharoM ke maidAna kI taraha chA gaye haiN| uph kitane gahare a~dhere, kAlA khUna bana kara merI mAMsapeziyoM meM dabe hue the| kitane kalmaSa mere pudgala-paramANuoM meM ghAtaka coroM kI taraha chupe hue the| karmoM kA Azrava-rAjya kitanA jaTila hai, jAna kara aura adhika sAvadhAna aura apramatta ho gayA hai| apanI nirmAMsa mattA kI svAdhInatA ke nikaTatara pahu~ca kara mere Ananda aura AzvAsana kI sImA nahIM hai| . . . - lekina nahIM, abhI virAma nahIM hai| jAna par3atA hai maMz2ila abhI bahuta dUra hai| kyoMki mere bhUzAyI mAMsa-khaMDoM kI zilAoM ko phor3a kara zata-sahasra sarpa apane phaNoM ko kSitija taka vistArita karate hue, eka para eka yamarAja ke kaI bhayaMkara bhuja-daNDoM kI taraha mujha para cAroM ora se TUTa par3e haiN| sara se paira taka ve mere pratyeka aMga aura avayava se, isa taraha kuMDaliyoM para kuMDaliyA~. mAra kara lipaTa gaye haiM, jaise kisI vizAla vRkSa para amara beliyoM ke AlajAla chA gaye hoN| apane prANa kI samUcI hiMsaka vAsanA ko cukA dene ko becaina ho kara ve aisI ugratA se apane phana phaTakAra kara mujha para AghAta kara rahe haiM, ki unake phaNa-maMDala chinna-bhinna hue jA rahe haiN| aisI tIkhI jighAMsA se ve apanI karAla DAr3hoM dvArA merI haDDiyoM taka meM daMza kara rahe haiM, ki unake dA~toM kA viSa cuka gayA hai, aura niHsatva ho kara ve dA~ta ukhar3a kara unhIM ke peTAloM kI viSAgni meM havana ho rahe haiN| jaba ve nitAnta niviSa ho kara mere zarIra para chUchI DoriyoM jaise laTake raha gaye, to nakula unheM khIMca-khIMca kara khAne lge| jAne kahA~ se nikala Aye cUhoM ke dala ke dala apanI tIkhI coMcoM se unheM kutara-kutara kara cIMcAriyA~ karane lge| . . ___ . . 'hiMsA-praptihiMsA kA eka antahIna duzcakra mere astitva kI parikramA karatA. dIkhA / isa cakra-vyUha meM ghira kara kyA prANa-rakSA kA upakrama sambhava hai ? yoM bhI kabhI vaha to kiyA nhiiN| para isa kSaNa spaSTa pratIti ho rahI hai, ki mere prANa bacAne ke liye nahIM, de dene ke liye hI race gaye haiN| loka ke prANi cira kAla se isa hiMsA-pratihiMsA kI sA~kala meM jar3e apanA hI ghAta karane meM

Page #145
135 lage haiM / 'mere prANa ananta ho jAne ko vyAkula haiN| tAki hara ghAta-pratighAta ke bIca apane ko bahA kara, ho sake to vizva - prANa kI isa dhArA ko avicchinna dekhane, pAne, jIne ko merA sArA astitva chaTapaTA rahA hai / 'mahAvIra, asambhava ko sambhava kiyA cAhatA hai ? kisI jJAnI aura tatvajJa ne Aja taka aisI kisI sambhAvanA kA patA nahIM diyA / ho sakatA hai, maiM bhrAMti meM hU~ / lekina bhItara se jo apane vilakSaNa svabhAva kI apUrva pukAra caina nahIM lene de rahI, to merA kyA vaza hai ? 'jIvo jIvasya jIvanam' mujhe satya nahIM lagatA, to kyA kara sakatA hU~ ? use kaise svIkAra kara sakatA hU~ ? isa sthala se, 'dekha rahA nahIM, nahIM tyAga sakU~gA yaha dhyAnAsana, nahIM Tala sakUMgA jaba taka apanI isa abhIpsA kI pUrti kA koI iMgita na pA jAU~ / hU~, dharatI kI dhRti aba mere pairoM ko dhAraNa karane se inkAra kara rahI hai / ThIka hai, mA~ vasundharA, sameTa lo apane ko chor3a do apane isa beTe ko adhara meM / o pRthA, merI sattA tujha para samApta nahIM / tujha para nirbhara nahIM / acchA hI hai, sAre bAharI Ayatana - AdhAra cuka jAyeM, tAki apane usa sarvathA svataMtra AdhAra meM sadAko avasthita ho sakU~, jisakA anta nahIM, aura jo kabhI mujhe dhokhA nahIM de sakatA / jo merA aparichinna, abhinna svarUpa hai / dharatI se apane pairoM ko uThA kara zUnya meM pheMkane ko maiMne chalAMga bharI / lekina apanI sArI asahyatA ke bAvajUda pRthvI ne apane vakSa se mere pairoM ko na ukhar3ane diyA / aura bhI kasa kara apanI bhujAoM meM jakar3a liyA, aura vaha mujhase lipaTa lipaTa kara Akranda karane lagI / 'acchA mA~ na chor3o mujhe, dhAraNa karo mujhe / maiM to tumheM chor3anA hI kaba cAhatA hU~ / lekina tumhArI dhRti ko cukate dekha kara, vivaza huA mahAvIra, ki vaha tumheM aura pIr3A na pahu~cAye / ho sake to apane khar3e rahane ko koI apanI svAdhIna dharatI khoja nikAle / tuma cAhogI mA~. to cirakAla maiM tumhArA rahU~gA / tumhArI goda meM jIvana kI navya- nUtana lIlA kIr3A karatA calA AU~gA / aura apane caraNoM se lipaTI vasundharA ke dugdhAvila vakSojoM meM maiM gaharI samAdhi meM nimagna hotA calA gayA / ' ki sahasA hI apane danta - mUsaloM se diggajoM ko lalakAratA aura ukhAr3atA eka mahA bhayaMkara gajendra sAmane se jhapaTatA dikhAI par3A / apane padAghAtoM se vaha mAnoM pRthvI ko dabA kara rasAtala pahu~cAne lagA aura apanI sUMr3a ko uchAla kara vaha AkAza ko tor3atA huA, graha-nakSatra-maMDaloM ko chinna-bhinna karatA dIkhA / usane pralaya ke durvAra samudra !

Page #146
136 kI taraha apanI sUMDa se mujha para AkramaNa kiyaa| usameM mere zarIra ko kasa kara lapeTa liyA / aura phira apanI sampUrNa zakti ke sAtha usane mujhe AkAza meM itanI U~cAI para uchAla diyA ki apane bhAra kA bhAna hI calA gyaa| tAra-tAra vicchinna ho kara jaba merA zarIra phira nIce ko lauTane lagA, to usa mahAbalI gajendra ne phira saMDa Upara pheMka kara mujhe jhela liyaa| phira vaha, merI mamatA se vikala ho Akranda karatI vasudhA kI chAtI ko jaise caTTAna samajha kara usa para mujhe bArambAra pachAr3ane lgaa| una nirantara AghAtoM se. merI vajravRSabha-nArAca saMhanana kI dhAraka haDDiyoM taka se tar3aka kara agni kI cinagAriyA~ phUTane lagIM / mahAnubhAva gajendra apane hI AghAtoM se utpanna isa agni kI lapaToM ko sahana na kara pAye, aura vipala mAtra meM jAne kahA~ antardhAna ho gaye / * 'nahIM, aba kisI jhUThI rAhata kI mAyA mujhe nahIM chala sktii| susthira, avikala sannaddha hU~ aura nivedita hU~, aba jo bhI sanmukha aaye| jAna par3a rahA hai, mRtyu to bahuta pIche chUTa gaI hai| maiMne to usakI goda meM bhI bahuta pyAra se umar3a kara sara DhAla diyA thaa| para yaha kyA huA ki apane A~cala se mujhe jhaTaka kara vaha bhI bhAga khar3I huii| mRtyu taka apanI mamatA mujhe dene se katarA gii| taba nahIM jAnatA, ye saba mujhase kyA cAhate haiM ? apane samatva aura saMvara meM aura adhika nizcala ho gayA hU~ / jhelane aura na jhelane se pare, sahane aura na sahane se pare, kevala basa hU~ / mAno ho kara bhI nahIM hU~ : nahIM ho kara bhI huuN| * * 'lekina nahIM, merI isa sthiti ko bhI yahA~ svIkRti nhiiN| . . . kyoMki eka durmatta yuvA hathinI jAne kahA~ se acAnaka A kara, apane mada jharate kapoloM ko merI jaMghAoM para pachAr3a rahI hai / phira bhI hila nahIM sakA hU~, to hA~phatIhaoNfatI kSobha se phuphakArane lagI hai| usake jI meM kacauTa hai ki kaise pASANa se pAlA par3a gayA hai| so apane kumbha ke AghAtoM se merI chAtI kA bhaMjana karatI huI, apane dA~toM se mere pheMphar3oM aura pasaliyoM ko bheda rahI hai| rakta-mAMsa to mana cAhA usane pAyA, para use kisI taraha bhI kala nahIM A rahI / pyAra to anAyAsa mere ghAyala aMgoM taka se sadA bahatA hI rahatA hai| usake sivAya to mujha akiMcana kA koI dhana nahIM / vaha merI antima vivazatA hai / para use bhI ye lenA nahIM caahte| jAna par3atA hai, vaha kama par3a rahA hai inake liye / lagatA hai, abhI merA astitva sImAoM se ubara nahIM pAyA hai, isI kAraNa merI prIti ananta nahIM ho pA rhii| ho sakI hotI, to usake liye cirakAla se tarasate prANi, usameM avagAhana kara nizcaya hI zAnta ho jAte / kyA isa sImita deha ke rahate, usa ananta ko jInA sambhava nahIM ? lekina ananta jo hai, usake liye kucha bhI asambhava kaise ho sakatA hai ? asaM

Page #147
137 khyAta pradezI hai pratyeka paramANa, usameM sImA ko avakAza kahA~ ? para usa vizuddha paramANu ko upalabdha honA jo zeSa hai / / / * * 'zvAsa ko sahasrAra meM khIMca kara, ekameva paramANu meM kendrita kara diyA hai apane ko / eka dAruNa visphoTa se snAya aura mAMsa-peziyA~ tanI jA rahI haiM / apanA hI zarIra kaI gunA vizAla ho kara sAre AkAza meM AsphAlita hotA dIkhA / - - 'nahIM, yaha nahIM hone diyA jAyegA ki pUre avakAza ko maiM apanA Ayatana banA luuN| __ - 'haThAt prakRti kI eka aura vinAzaka sattA mujha para AkramaNa kara utthii| magara-sI DAr3hoM vAlA eka vizAla pizAca : bhayaMkara bhaTTI-se dahakate usake jbdd'e| pralambAyamAna kAlI caTTAnoM-sI apanI jaMghAoM tathA urusthaloM ke bIca mujhe bhIMcane meM usane apanI sArI tAqata nicor3a dI / para yaha kyA huA ki kSaNa bhara pahale virATa meM betahAzA phaila rahI merI deha palaka mArate meM vAmana ho kara, usakI jA~ghoM kI sA~r3asI se chiTaka gaI / apanI donoM bA~hoM ko kaiMcI kI taraha vistArita karatA huA, vaha tez2I se kataranI calAne lgaa| maiMne apane Apako usa kattikA ke bIca DAla diyA / ki usase kaTa kara bhI, ho sake to, ina saba kA mamatva pA sakU. inake bIca rahane lAyaka ho saku~ / magara mere vaza kA kyA hai ? ekAeka anubhava huA ki vaha kaicI pAnI meM cala rahI hai, havA ko katara rahI hai / usakI dhAroM para bAra-bAra apane ko pheMkA, lekina hAya, yaha paizAcika kaicI bhI mujhe dhokhA de gaI / __ sahasA hI, cuke tela vAle dIpaka-sA vaha pizAca jaise ghupa se bujha gyaa| eka zUnya a~dhiyAre athAha meM saba kucha asUjha ho gyaa| basa eka pIle kanera phUla kI taraha halakI, mahIna merI ekAkI kAyA usameM jaise taira rahI hai| * * eka guphA taTa ke sarovara meM nikala AyA hU~, aura cA~danI rAta meM, sampUrNa candramaNDala kI taraha, usa jhIla kI zItala milatA para apane ko nirbAdha vicarate anubhava kiyA / * * 'acAnaka usa taraMgima pAnilatA meM kahIM eka khandaka-sI khula pdd'ii| aura dahAr3atA huA, eka darddharSa siMha usameM se uchala kara bAhara aayaa| aura apane donoM agale paMje uTA kara, usane merI kaTi meM donoM ora se nakha gar3A kara mujhe uru-saMghi meM se vidIrNa kara denA cAhA / maiMne apanI jA~ghoM ko pUrA pasAra kara use suvidhA kara dI, ki ho sake to apanI DAr3hoM se merI trivalI ko bheda kara, mere bhItara ArapAra calA Aye / tAki merI isa nirI vAyavIyatA ko usa vizAla bhayAvaha prANi-piDa meM sahArA mila jAye / * * 'sahArA to milA, magara yoM ki vyAghra mere bhItara Ane ke bajAya maiM hI usake bhItara khIMca liyA gayA / * * *usake bhItarI deha-vizva kI saMracanA meM ramamANa ho kara, kucha aisA sukha anubhava huA jaise sRSTi ke kisI gahanatama rAjakakSa meM, jAne kitane hI rahasyoM kI sugandhita maMjUSAe~ mere sAmane khula rahI hoM / eka agocara paramANu ke skandha hone se lagA kara, prakRti

Page #148
138 aura prANi-jagata ke piNDa-dhAraNa aura paricAlanA taka kI sArI hI pratriyAoM meM se jaise svayam hI yAtrita hotA calA jA rahA huuN| * * 'apane dhrauvya kI dhurI para avicala ArUr3ha, utpAda aura vyaya kI parizuddha pratriyA ko akhaNDa kAla-paramANu meM jI rahA hU~ . . / * * eka vizAla sArtha kI chAvanI mere cAroM ora phailI dikhAI par3a rahI hai| karma-kolAhala kA anta nhiiN| * * 'koI thakA-hArA bhUkhA pathika dharma-saMkaTa meM par3A hai / use bhAta pakAne haiM, para calhA banAne ke liye use patthara kahIM nahIM mila rahe haiM / cAroM ora patthara khojate vaha thaka gayA, lekina eka patthara bhI kahIM dikhAI nahIM par3a rahA / * * *usake kSobha aura krodha kA pAra nahIM / kyA prakRti meM se patthara hI lupta ho gaye ? ..bar3I dera se vaha mere AsapAsa cakkara kATa rahA hai / * * *Akhira usakI duvidhA samApta ho gii| isa nagna sAdhu ke parvata-se sthira caraNoM se adhika uttama cUlhA aura kahAM milegA ! banA-banAyA cUlhA hI to agni-devatA ne svayam usake Age prastuta kara diyA hai / so dhyAnastha zramaNa ke jur3e caraNoM ke bIca agni prajjavalita kara ke usane apane bhAta kI patIlI usa para car3hA dii| una pairoM ke jIvanta pattharoM para pakA bhAta khA kara, jAne kitane dinoM kA bhUkhA pathika mAno kisI divya bhojana kA AsvAda pA kara harSa vibhora ho gayA / ___ 'aise svAdiSTa, sugandhita bhAta to isase pUrva jIvana meM maiMne kabhI cakhe nhiiN|' -mana hI mana vaha socatA rahA / dAha mujhe jo bhI anubhava huA ho, lekina eka nayI upalabdhi ho gaI hai| hAr3a-mAMsa ke caraNa bhasma ho gaye, para unameM se yaha kaise tapta hiraNya se naye caraNa prakaTa ho gaye haiN| * * 'pathika, tumhAre prati merI kRtajJatA kI sImA nahIM ! * * sAmane se A rahe vyAdha ne dekhA ki isa jaMgala meM yaha puruSAkAra vRkSa kADhUTha kahA~ se A gayA hai / bahuterI raMga-biraMgI jaMgalI cir3iyAe~ usane nagara meM becane ke liye pakar3I thIM, aura unake kaI piMjar3e Dhote vaha thaka gayA thaa| use Dara thA ki piMjar3e nIce rakhane para, AkAza na dikhAI dene se, nayI pakar3I cir3iyAe~ vyAkulatA se tIliyoM para paMkha mAra kara prANa de deMgI / kyoM na isa DhUMTha para sAre piMjar3e laTakA duuN| isake AsapAsa to AkAza hI AkAza hai / aura gadgad ho kara vyAdha ne ve sAre piMjar3e mere donoM kAnoM para, gale meM, kaMdhoM para, bhujAoM para bA~dha kara laTakA diye| paMchiyoM ko koI nayA AkAza cahu~ ora phailA dikhAI pdd'aa| usameM ur3ane kI chaTapaTAhaTa unheM itanI asahya ho gaI, ki apanI coMcoM ke AghAtoM se piMjar3e por3a kara, ve isa nUtana AkAza meM itane U~ce ur3ate cale gaye ki vyAdha kI A~kheM bhI

Page #149
139 ruka nahIM sakIM, aura ve svayam bhI cir3iyA bana kara una paMchiyoM kI Toha meM jAne kahA~ kho gaIM / bar3I kaThinAI meM par3a gayA vyAdha ! yaha usakI A~kheM haiM, ki AkAza hai, ki cir3iyAe~ haiM ? apane sivAya aura kucha bhI to dikhAI nahIM par3a rahA hai use| 'haThAt vyAdha ko lagA, are, yaha kaisA khUna baha AyA hai, isa vRkSa-ThUTha kI chAloM meM se? itanA ki merA apanA hI pUrA zarIra isase nahA uThA hai| maiM vyAdha svayam hI AkheTa ho gayA ? oha * * yaha to ThUTha nahIM, koI sAdhu hai . . ! nAtha * * 'nAtha * * 'nAtha, kSamA kareM bhante, ajJAnI se bhUla ho gaI / . . . * * *aura dekha rahA hU~, apane cAroM ora parikramA karate eka jAjvalyamAna kAla-cakra ko / aura dasoM dizAoM se uThI A rahI kAla-jhaMjhAe~ bar3e pracaNDa vega se use cakrAyita kara rahI haiN| eka mATI ke piNDa kI taraha mujhe usake Upara rakha kara, koI adRzyamAna kAlA bhuja-daNDa mujhe manacAhA svachanda gati kI parAkASThA taka ghumA rahA hai, uThA-uThA kara mujhe meru zikharoM para paTaka rahA hai| para yaha kyA hai| ki maiM to apane dhyAnAsana para jyoM kA tyoM nizcala upasthita hU~, aura apanI usa mRttikA-piNDa kAyA ko, kAla-cakra meM paTakhaniyA~ khAte, uThate-girate dekha rahA huuN| aura isa prakriyA meM jAne kaba use, bhISaNa visphoTa ke dhar3Ake ke sAtha phaTa kara, una kAla jhaMjhAoM meM tAra-tAra bikhara jAte dekhA / paMcatva ko prApta ho gayA varddhamAna ? apanI mRtya ko, apane vinAza ko maiMne pratyakSa apanI A~khoM Age dekhA / lekina yaha jo dekha rahA hai, yaha phira kauna hai ? * * kauna hai yaha, jo pIche zeSa raha gayA hai ? - - 'oha, bar3A dhUrta hai yaha avadhUta / isake zarIroM kA anta nahIM, isake rUpoM aura zaktiyoM kA anta nhiiN| lekina isa samaya yaha apanI maulika sattA meM nagna, niSkriya aura ekAkI khar3A hai| antima prahAra kA ThIka muhUrta A pahu~cA hai| isa samaya yaha apanI carama deha meM, nitAnta arakSita, apratiruddha khar3A hai / 'sAvadhAna vAtarazanA, pAkhaMDI, kAla ke isa antima vAtyAcakra se bacakara kahA~ jAyegA ?' * * *aura do vikarAla vanhimAna ballamoM jaise prakANDa bhujAdaNDoM ne usa kAla cakra ko antarikSa meM U~cA se U~cA uThA kara, mere mastaka para prahAra kiyA / kulAcaloM ko bhI cUra-cUra kara dene meM samartha usa cakra ke AghAta se trivalI paryanta merA zarIra pRthvI meM magna ho gyaa| * * 'prakRti aura puruSa ke nitya avyAbAdha mahAmathana meM lIna hone kI-sI anubhUti huii| * * 'eka sarvAMgINa samAveza kA mahAsukha-kamala mere hRdaya-deza ke zrIvatsa cihna para khula aayaa| varddhamAna kRtajJatA ke A~suoM meM vigalita ho kara, apanI antaravartinI mahAzakti ke usa rUpa-vigraha ke caraNoM meM bhUsAt ho rahA / prazamamUrti mahAvIra,

Page #150
140 basa kevala dekha rahA hai * * dekha rahA hai / para kyA hai, jo vaha nahIM kara rahA ? kyoMki vaha kucha nahIM kara rahA * * / basa, hai / asti / - 'o, yaha antima puruSa, isa qadara hara coTa aura pakar3a se bAhara hai, Upara hai ? ThIka hai, aghAtya hai isakA tana / lekina isakA mana, isakA prANa, isakI cetanA ? jo kamala-pA~khurI kI nasoM kI taraha komala, lacIle, mahIna haiN| isake tana ko nahIM tor3A jA sakA, to isake mana ko todduuNgaa| isakI ati komalAMgI sundarI-sI AtmA ko eka hI vAra meM cUra-cUra kara duuNgaa| phira kisake sahAre TikegA isakA aghAtya zarIra? isakI ye vajrIlI haDDiyA~ * * * *? * * *aura acAnaka dikhAyI par3A, pitA sAmane khar3e haiN| sunAyI par3I unakI spaSTa AvAz2a : 'varddhamAna, beTA varddhamAna ! mujhe pahacAna taka nahIM sakate ? maiM tumhArA pyArA pitA siddhArtha / tuma mere hI Atmaja ho| * * eka bAra A~kha khola kara sAmane bhI nahIM dekhoge? * * * 'mAna, mere lAla, mere rakta, merI AtmA, tuma? yaha tumane kyA kiyA? kyoM tuma hameM chor3a gaye ? hamArI pyAra bharI chAtiyoM para lAta mAra kara cale gaye ! isI dudina ke liye ? isa antahIna rAkSasa-lIlA ke duzcakra meM phaMsa kara nirantara apanI miTTI palIda karavAne ke liye * * ? 'kisa aparAdha ke liye tumane hameM aisA dAruNa daNDa diyA hai ? tumheM sahana nahIM huA hamArA sukha ? apanA sukha taka tumheM asahya ho gayA ? kaisI bhayaMkara prahAravANI tuma vaizAlI para bolate the / tumhAre mana kA ho gayA, varddhamAna ! tumheM khabara dene AyA hU~ / AtatAyI ajAtazatru ne bhArata ke pA~coM mahArAjyoM ko apanI muTThI meM kara, asaMkhya vAhiniyoM ke sAtha eka AdhI rAta vaizAlI para AkramaNa kara diyA / agale sUryodaya tale vaizAlI mahAsmazAna ho kara sulaga rahI thI, aura usakI lapaToM para tumhArI priya ambapAlI hamAre vinAza kA tANDava-nRtya kara rahI thii| 'hamAre sAre rAjamahala AkrAntAoM ne hamase chIna liye / hameM nikAla bAhara kara, biyAbAnoM meM lA paTakA / hama beghara-bAra, nirjala nirAhAra dara-dara kI khAka chAna rahe haiM / hama saba eka-dUsare se bichur3a kara pretoM kI taraha apanI lAzeM Dho rahe haiN| aura jAnate ho, tumhArI priya candana kahA~ haiM ? * * 'are tuma to pahAr3a kI taraha qhAmoza ho ! tumheM hamase koI sarokAra nahIM? candana taka ko tuma bhUla gaye ? * . . kahA~ hai tumhArA vaha tIrthaMkara, kAla kI avasarpiNI kA antima paritrAtA ? jisakI ghoSaNAe~ karate tuma thakate nahIM the / - - 'mAna, bolo mAna, beTA, eka bAra to A~kheM uThAo, oMTha kholo * * / tumhArA janaka tumhAre caraNoM meM zaraNa khojane AyA hai, trANa kI bhIkha mA~gane AyA hai / - are tumheM apanI mA~ taka para dayA nahIM A

Page #151
141 rahI / 'dekho vaha pAgala strI, vaha dhAr3e mAra-mAra kara una per3oM se sara pachAr3atI tumheM guhAra rahI hai !' aura sAmane mA~ kI ati karuNa kSINa mUrti Akranda karatI chAtI pITatI dikhAI par3I / asUryaM pazyA trizalA kI kAyA para lAja DhA~kane taka ko vasana zeSa nahIM hai ? saba sunA, dekhA / cupa hI raha sakA / anAhata, avikampamAna mAtra eka lau / usake ujAle meM saba spaSTa aura yathAsthAna hai / usameM koI mInamekha sambhava nhiiN| maiM raMca bhI na hilA / maiM kucha na bolA / bolane ko thA hI kyA ? para mastaka-pIThikA meM se uThatI eka AvAz2a ne uttara diyA : 'kahIM kucha nahIM hai, siddhArtha rAja, kisa mAyA ke cakra meM pha~sa gaye tuma ? dekho apane ko / apane nandyAvarta ke zayana kakSa meM sugandhita zaiyA para bahuta rAjan ! sukha se leTe ho, 'ambapAlI isa kSaNa taka to lAsya nRtya hI kara rahI hai / para kaba mahAkAla kA DamarU bajane para, mahAkAlI tANDava nRtya kara uThegI, kahA nahIM jA sakatA / aura viplavI rudrANI kA vaha tANDava dharatI para nahIM, mahAvIra kI chAtI para hogA / mahAvIra ke vakSa deza para hI AmrapAlI apanI sampUrNa UrjA ke sAtha nAca skegii| vaha, jisake dAyeM hAtha meM amRta- kuMbha hogA, aura bA~ye hAtha meM nAgina kA viSa pyAlA / 'lekina usameM abhI bahuta dera hai, rAjan / mahAvIra kI vaizAlI, pRthvI para cirakAla ajeya hai, siddhArtharAja ! kAMcanakAminI vaizAlI kA vinAza kabhI bhI sambhava hai / para vaha aura kisI pArthiva sattA ke hAthoM sambhava nahIM / vaizAlI kA vikrAnta rAjaputra mahAvIra hI vaha kara sakatA hai / usakI bA~yI bhauMha para vaizAlI kA vinAza ThaharA hai : usakI dA~yIM bhauMha para vaizAlI kA apUrva nirmANa / para isa kSaNa to apanI bhRkuTI kI gandhakuTI meM vaha nizcala baiThA hai / nirNAyaka muhUrta kI pratIkSA karo, siddhArtha'Daro nahIM, apanI surakSita sukha- zaiyA meM apane ko mahasUsa karo / aura candanabAlA ? jAnatA hU~, vaha svayam apanI niyati hone ko janmI hai to bhedanA aura jItanA hI hogA use / rAja ! . Jain Educationa International kahA~ hai ? 'koI upAya nahIM / candana / to rAha ke cakravyUhoM ko 'maiM hU~, candana, maiM hU~, dhruva maiM / ' "mere sAmane khar3I parvatAkAra tamasamUrti kAThamArI-sI khar3I raha gaI hai / socA usane : 'nahIM moha-mAyA ke mamatA-pAza se niSkrAnta hai isakA prANa, mana, AtmA / nahIM, lokAloka kI koI coTa, isake tana aura mana kI lau ko nahIM tor3a sakatI / karAla se nahIM, komala aura madhura se hI yaha bhuvana mohana jItA jA sakatA hai / svayam kAmadeva hai yaha / rati ke sivAya For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #152
142 isake caitanya ko kauna mUcchita kara sakatA hai, isakI AtmA ko kauna jIta sakatA hai / vizva- ramaNI ke sivAya kauna isake Urdhvaretas Atmateja ko skhalita kara sakatA hai ! yaha, jo nirantara sahasrAra ke sUryacakra meM khela rahA hai / .... "ratnoM se jhalahalanta eka vimAna Akara sAmane utarA hai / usameM se utara kara eka tuMga kAya lalitAMga deva sammukha prastuta huA / maNiprabha mukuTa se maMDita apanA mAthA bhUmi para DAla kara usane praNAma kiyA aura bolA : ' darzana pA kara kRtakRtya huA, maharSi varddhamAna / aisA ugra tapa, teja, satva, aisA samyaktva, aisI sahiSNutA, aisI titikSA, aisI mumukSA anyatra nahIM dekhI / astitva kI bhI avahelanA karake siddhatva -lAbha ke liye aisA anAhata parAkrama Aja taka kisI puruSa-puMgava ne nahIM kiyaa| maiM tuma para prIta huA, devaSi / isI lokAloka kI samasta Rddhi-siddhi tumheM samarpita karane AyA huuN| jo cAho mA~ga lo, dU~gA / jahA~ icchA karane mAtra se sAre manokAma tuSTa hote haiM, cAho to una svargoM meM tumheM isI deha se le jAU~ / to anAdi bhava se saMrUr3ha hue sarva karma se tumheM vipala mAtra meM mukta karake, ekAnta paramAnanda svarUpa mokSa meM isI kSaNa tumheM utkrAnta kara dUM / tAki asaMkhya videha siddhoM ke bIca tuma sadeha mukti-lakSmI ke sAtha ramaNa karo / cAho to, jJAta aura ajJAta pRthivI ke tamAma maMDalAdhIza rAjezvara apane mukuTa jhukA kara jisake zAsana ko zirodhArya kareM, aisA triloka cakravartI sAmrAjya tumheM arpita kruuN| jo cAho mA~ga lo, rAjarSi, yaha muhUrta durlabha aura anivArya hai / suna kara muskurA AyA hU~, aura cupa hU~ / cupa, anuttara, nizcala hU~ / kintu devatA ko jAne kisa anyatratA se uttara sunAI par3A : 'vaha saba pA kara pIche chor3a AyA hU~, AyuSyamAna lalitAMga deva !' 'oha, kAMcana aura sAmrAjya se bhI pare jAkara ajeya ho cukA hai yaha devArya ?' "hAra kara jhallAyA-sA lauTa par3A hai vaha devatA apane vimAna meM / usakI vaha icchA pUrI ho, jise vaha svayam nahIM jAnatA hai / 'kintu kauna hai, jo kAminI ke bAhupAza se baca nikale ? sRSTi kI usa janetA ko jIta kara bhI, anyatra gati kahA~ hai ? sRSTi ke bAhara to siddhAlaya bhI astitva meM nahIM raha sakatA / 'Ao mAdinI, tumhArA videha madana pahalI bAra deha dhara kara tumase milane AyA hai / 'dekha rahA hU~, chahoM Rtue~ galabA~hI DAla kara saheliyoM kI taraha sAmane AyI haiM / una saba ne mila kara eka sAtha apane vividha saundaryo kA

Page #153
143 ." utsava racAyA hai / ghanI zyAmala amarAiyA~ maMjariyoM se lada AI haiN| unake gopana antarAla meM kuhukatI koyala ko 'pihU pihU pukAra antahIna ho gaI hai| usameM janmAntaroM kI jAne kitanI priyAoM kI vidagdha smRtiyA~ kasaka rahI haiN| dizAoM kI bA~heM kiMzuka phUloM se vyAkula ho kara dahaka uThI haiM / Agneya koNa meM grISma kA saverA alasAyA hai / kRSNacUr3A ke vana tale kisane kezariyA zaiyA bichA dI hai ? amalatAsa kI DAleM jAne kaise tandrila, svapnila pIle phUloM se namita ho AyIM haiN| vikasita kadamba puSpoM kI raja se sairandhrI jAne kisa padmAMginI ke stana maMDala para patralekhA raca rahI hai / aura sahasA hI IzAna dizA meM, ghira Aye bAdaloM kI nirjana chAyA meM nAcate mayUroM ke kekA-rava se virahiNI ke prANa pAgala ho uThe haiM / kRSNa kamaloM se ladI kAdambinI zaiyA para avirAma vRSTi dhArAoM meM nahAtI nagna bijaliyA~ chaTapaTA rahI haiM / una para kisane yaha indra dhanuSa kI mahIna or3hanI DAla dI hai ? sahasroM nIla kamaloM kI A~kheM kisake liye TakaTakI lagAye haiM ? pAradarzI nIlimA ke taTAnta para, kAza phUloM ke vanAntarAla meM chupI kauna zvetAMginI raha-raha kara jhA~ka uThatI hai ? vana mallikA aura kAminI phUloM se mahakatI isa zarada saMdhyA meM kisa milana-rAtri kA AmantraNa hai ? 'aucaka hI hemanta kI tuhina tarala rAta siMdhuvAra puSpoM kI mahaka se mAtula ho kara, apane bhItara kI agni ko khoja rahI hai|'' aura kahIM hima - zilAoM se jaTila sarovara ke ekAkI sphaTika taTa para sAre hI vana-kAnanoM ke piyarAe patte eka sAtha A kara jhar3a rahe haiN| barphAnI A~dhI ke vinAza-paka para koI anAdikAla kI virahiNI apane ajJAta yogI priyatama ke liye agni-kaMkaNoM bharI bA~heM phailAye hai / * Rtu-rAniyoM ke isa saMyukta utsava kA A~gana, palaka mArate meM sahasroM sundariyoM se bhara utthaa| martya pRthvI kA sArabhUta lAvaNya jinameM mUrta huA hai, aisI jJAta-ajJAta tamAma dvIpa - dezAntaroM kI rUpasI bAlAe~ / solahoM svargoM kI indrANiyA~, devAMganAe~, apsarAe~ / urvaziyA~, tilottamAe~ / kinnariyA~ aura gandharva - kanyAe~ / rUpa aura yauvana kA uttAla taraMgita sAgara / hara taraMga meM jAne kitanI lahariyA~ / hara lahara meM anaginatI rUpasiyA~ / hara rUpasi meM se AvirbhUta hotI, nita-navya yauvanA sundariyA~ / aura hara sundarI ekAkI, atyanta vaiyaktika priyA kI taraha mere sammukha A rahI hai / sarvasva samarpaNa kI cetanA aura vAsanA se usakA aMga-aMga vyAkula aura caMcala hai / nivedana ke Arata acchvAsa se vaha vivhala hai / kAtara AhoM meM phUTatA usakA

Page #154
144 kaMTha-svara ati mRdu, madhura aura mahIna hai / aisA svarAghAta, ki zravaNa mAtra se koI moha kI mUrchA-rAtri meM sadA ko so jaaye| suramya aMgoM vAlI una ramaNiyoM ne, rati ke acUka vijayI maMtrAstra samAna saMgIta Arambha kiyA / caumAse kI vegIlI nadiyoM kI antaHsalilA prakRta layoM ke sAtha, ve gAndhAra grAma se aneka rAginiyA~ gAne lgiiN| devAMganAe~ krama aura utkrama se, apanI vINA kI laharIlI surAvaliyoM meM svara, vyaMjana aura dhAtuoM ke mAMtrika svarUpa ko mUrta karane lgiiN| gandharva-bAlAe~ kUTa, nakAra aura dhoMkAra se megha-rava utpanna karatI huI trividha mRdaMga bajAne lgiiN| bahuta hI mahIna, komala mIDa-mUrcchanAoM meM Arohita aura avarohita hai yaha saMgIta kI dhaaraa| isameM asIma dUriyoM ke AmaMtraNa haiN| virahiNI AtmA kA janmAntara gAmI saMvedana hai| ajJAta milana-kakSoM kI kacanAra-zaiyAe~ haiN| sarvasvadAna ke liye vyAkula-vibhora deha, prANa mana kI AtmahArI vidagdhatA hai| suratisaMgharSa meM deha ko cUra-cUra kara niHzeSa ho jAne kI eka kacoTa hai| Atmamilana kI tar3apa se anAtma ke jar3a tamasa-taToM meM TakarAne kI ghAyala vedanA hai, Aha-karAha hai| isameM bekAbU vAsanA kI AkAza-dAhaka jvAlAe~ haiN| isameM ajJAta antavaMdanA se ghumar3ate samudroM kI gaharAiyA~ haiN| * * 'taTa para khar3e raha kara dekhane aura anubhava karane kA Ananda itanA bar3A hai, ki moha ke isa athAha timira-sAgara meM DUba nahIM pAtA hU~, kho nahIM pAtA huuN| * * dekha rahA hU~ isa sAmane nRtya karatI apsarA ko| aMgabhaMga aura mudrAoM ke nRtyAbhinaya se yaha apane kaMcukI-bandha tor3atI huI, zithila kezapAza ko bA~dhane ke bahAne apane bAhumUloM ko dikhA rahI hai| yaha tilottamA, dizAvedhI kaTAkSoM ke sAtha, prabala aMga-saMcAlana dvArA apanI deha meM na samAte lAvaNya ko bebasa bahA rahI hai| nivedana kI vedanA ke chora para, aneka aMgamaror3oM se avayavoM ko adhikatama ubhAra kara havA meM Alekhita kiye de rahI hai| utsarga kI cUr3Anta chaTapaTAhaTa meM pahu~ca kara, isa urvazI ne apane urojoM ko kulAcaloM kI taraha udbhinna kara, antarikSa meM uttIrNa kara diyA hai| .. 'airAvata kSetra kI yaha bAlA zara-sandhAna ke liye khice dhanuSa kI taraha doharI ho gaI hai| isake pIche Dhalake mAthe ke vipula cikura pAza ne isakI nUpura-zobhita er3iyoM ko bA~dha liyA hai| isake Alor3ita vakSojakumbhoM se umar3atA kSIra-samudra isake uttolita nAbhi-kamala meM sarovara bana kara thamA raha gayA hai| aura adbhuta hai yaha videha kSetra kI padminI / isakI AtmA kI pAradarzI ujjvalatA, isake abhinna bhAva se jur3e uru-dvaya ke sandhi-mUla meM, anirvAra saMvega ke nirjhara-sI uphana rahI hai| * * 'dekha rahA hU~, kAmAta ramaNIdeha ke sAre hI aMgoM aura bhaMgoM meM, uttolana aura Alor3ana meM, apane ko pAne ke liye baicena AtmA kI caitanya vAsanA hI to hillolita hai|

Page #155
* * 'o prabhAsa dvIpa kI sundarI, samajha rahA hU~, apane zithila ho gaye adho vastroM kI graMthi ko dRr3ha karane ke lIlA-vyAja se, tuma apanI nAbhi kI gahana ratna-vApi hI to mujhe dikhAnA cAhatI ho / khula par3e nIvi-baMdha ko phira se kasa kara bA~dha dene ke chala se tumane apane antara-vAsaka ko, ibhadanta nRtya-mudrA ke sAtha kaI bAra Arohita-avarohita kiyA hai| graMthi meM ba~dha nahIM pA rahe haiM chora, aura tumhArI jhuMjhalAhaTa kI vidagdha mohinI antahIna ho gaI hai| soco to, AvaraNa kyA kevala vasana kA hI hai ? kRSNa kA cIraharaNa kyA kevala deha kI nagnatA para aTaka sakA thA? usane to antaravAsinI cidambarA ke kaMcuki-bandhoM aura nIvi-graMthiyoM ko sadA ke liye tor3a diyA thaa| taba jo anAvaraNa huA thA, vaha nire mAMsala stana aura yoniyA~ nahIM thIM :ve yoginiyA~ thIM / ve antarAgni se jAjvalmAna AtmA kI nagna sundariyA~ thiiN| dekha rahA hU~, tumhAre janma-janmAntaroM ke virahAkula prANoM kI isa graMthila pIr3A ko| * * 'nahIM, tuma nirI deha nahIM ho| nipaTa dehinI nahIM ho| videhinI hai tumhArI vaasnaa| phira kyoM deha ke ina carama ubhAroM para A kara aTaka gaI ho? kyoM hai yaha zaMkA, yaha bhaya, yaha hicaka ? * * 'isa liye ki tuma apane Apa ko kevala deha samajha rahI ho| tor3a do mithyA-darzana kI isa antima moha-graMthi ko| usake bAda jo AliMgana hai, usameM tU aura maiM nahIM hai| kevala tU hai yA kevala maiM hU~ / sparza kA vaha sukha, deha ke taTa para ho kara bhI, sparzAtIta hai| vaha bAhubaMdhana bA~dhatA nahIM, antima rUpa se mukta kara detA hai| .. * 'samajha rahA hU~, tumhArI ina pragAr3ha AliMgana kI ceSTAoM ko| apanA hI to parirambhaNa kara rahI ho / apane hI se DarogI? to jala-jala kara marogI hii| AvaraNa kI oMTa, apanI rUpazrI ko kabhI chupA kara aura kabhI dikhA kara, tuma apane ko denA cAhatI ho| phira bhI apane tana ke eka-eka saundaryANa ko kasa kara pakar3e rahanA cAhatI ho| aise parigraha ke parakoToM meM skhalana hI sambhava hai, pUrNAliMgana aura parama milana kaise sambhava hai / ina sAre AvaraNoM, kaMcukiyoM, nIvi-bandhoM, keza-graMthiyoM, avayavoM ke ubhAroM ko bheda kara, deha ke pAra kyA tuma apane ko mujhe nahIM de sakatIM, mujhe le nahIM sakatI ..? * aura sahasA hI eka ulkA avakAza meM ArapAra laharA gii| pRthvI ke garbha meM, koI gahanatama graMthibheda kA AghAta huaa| eka aisA bhUkampa, jisameM vasudhA ne phaTa kara, apane ko apane hI meM samA liyaa| sAre AkAza kI nIlimA dravita ho kara, tamAma digantinI dUriyA~ pighala cliiN| kSitija kI

Page #156
146 bhrAnti-rekhA jAne kahA~ visarjita ho gii| * * *aura maiM apane kAyotsarga meM avikampa khar3A huuN| - 'haThAt nivedana se kAtara nArI-kaNTha kI vidagdha vANI sunAI par3I : _ 'anukampA ke avatAra sune jAte ho, mahAvIra, aura tuma aise niSkampa, aise nirmama, prvt| hamane tumhAre kandhoM para mukhar3e DhAla tumheM cUma-cUma liyaa| hamane AheM bhara-bhara kara apanI gopana marma-vyathA tumhAre kAnoM meM khii| hamane apane anAvaraNa urojoM se tumhAre unnata sumeru jaise vakSa kA rabhasa-AliMgana kiyaa| usa meM apanI samasta dAhaka kAmAgni ko ur3ela diyaa| tumhArI kaTi aura jaMghAoM se lipaTa kara hama roIM, bisuurii| para tuma nispanda, nizcala pASANa! 'tuma kaise anukampA ke avatAra ! tuma kaise vItarAga, mahAkAruNika, triloka-pati bhagavAna ? ki tumheM itanI bhI dayA na AI, ki tuma hama ajJAniniyoM kI yaha asahya kAma pIr3A hara lete| tuma to ajita-vIrya sune jAte ho, tuma hameM tRpta kara dete, to tumhArA kyA bigar3a jAne vAlA thA! tumhArI vItarAgatA meM kauna-sA baTTA laga jAtA / jAna par3atA hai, tumheM apanI vItarAgatA meM sandeha hai| tuma abhI bhI bhaya se mukta nahIM ho sake ho, isI se to hameM chUne-sahalAne kI himmata tuma na kara ske| bhaya se patharA kara pASANa ho rhe| _ 'yadi tuma saMcamuca vItarAga ho, to tumhAre sivAya kauna hamArI isa pIra ko hara sakatA hai| tuma cAho to lIlA mAtra meM hamArI hara kAmanA ko tRpta kara sakate ho| he parama dayAlu, tuma itanI bhI dayA hama para nahIM kara sakate ? pUchatI hU~, phira tuma kaise dayAlu * . .?' .. aura abhI, yahA~, isI kSaNa mere oMTha rAzikRta cumbanoM ke mAdhurya meM nimajjita aura tallIna ho gaye haiN| mere kandhoM para jAne kitane kastUrI gaMdha se Urmila kuntala-chAye mukhar3e Dhalake haiN| mere kaNTha para jAne kitane hI mRNAloM ke grIvAliMgana jhUla gaye haiN| merI bhujAoM meM jAne kitane aparampAra vakSojoM kI agAdhinI vipulatA aura gaharAiyA~ AliMgita haiN| sahasroM kaTiyoM se kaTisAt mere urusthaloM meM mAMsalatA niHzeSa ho gaI hai / mere isa sparzasukha meM sparza samApta ho gayA hai / apUrva hai Aja kI yaha nispandatA, niSkAmatA / samAhiti kA sukha Aja pahalI bAra aisA avyAbAdha huA hai / sabako apane meM samA lene kI AkulatA, saba meM eka sAtha samA kara Aja vizrabdha ho gaI hai| carama rati hI to parama samAdhi ho gaI hai| ___.'sAmane kI havA meM eka devAkRti taira rahI hai| usameM antima parAjaya kA kSobha hai| para vaha eka bodha se stabdha hai| usake bhItara gUMja rahA hai :

Page #157
147 'kahA~ gaI ve sArI kAminiyA~ ? kahA~ avasAna pA gayI vaha kAmalIlA? kahA~ kho gaIM ve tInoM lokoM kI sArAMzinI sundariyA~ ? oha, yogIzvaroM ke yogIzvara ho tuma, mahAvIra ! tuma se bAhara to kucha bhI nhiiN| kAma bhI tuma se bAhara nhiiN| vaha bhI mAtra tumhArI eka taraMga hai| taraMga kaise samadra ko jIta sakatI hai| so vaha usI meM se uTha kara, usI meM nimajjita ho gaI, visarjita ho gaI, nirvANa pA gii| . . .' 'maiM saudharma svarga kA saMgama deva, zaraNAgata huA, trilokInAtha ! maiMne pratyakSa dekhA, mArajayI haiM mahAzramaNa varddhamAna / mRtyuMjaya hai mahAvIra / devajAti kI samasta zrI, zakti, sampatti, martya mAnava-putra ke AtmajayI puruSArtha ke sammukha antima rUpa se parAjita ho gii| * * 'aba kauna-sA muMha lekara zakrendra ke sAmane jAU~ * * *? devArya se mahattara sattA isa samaya loka meM vidyamAna nahIM / aise dAruNa aparAdhI ko arihaMta ke sivAya kauna kSamA kara sakatA hai . . ? mujha ajJAnI pApAtmA ko kSamA kareM, svAmI ! * * * 'khammA, khammA, khammA / arihaMta zaraNaM gacchAmI, siddha zaraNaM gacchAmI, sAhu zaraNaM gacchAmI / kevalI paNatto, dhammaM zaraNaM gcchaamii| 'zaraNAgata hU~, bhante ! * * para carama kSamA pA kara bhI aparAdha se mukta nahIM ho pA rahA mana !' _ 'vaha tU nahIM, saMgama / tU AtmA hai, aura AtmA aparAdha se Upara hai / isstt| hI kiyA tU ne : apanI zakti kI sImA jAna gayA / aba apanI bhUmA ko jAna sakegA / aham TUTA hai, to vaha sohama hogA hI !' . 'aba mere lauTane ko koI sthAna nahIM / kahA~ jAnA hogA, bhagavan ?' 'saudharma svarga kI indra-sabhA meM devoM kI samasta jAti terA tiraskAra karegI, parihAsa karegI, apamAna kregii| usase terA kalyANa hI hogA : kyoMki ahaMkAra kA antima pAza usase TUTegA / svarga se nirvAsana pA kara, merugiri kI cUlikA para tU apanI zeSa eka sAgaropama Ayu bitaayegaa|' 'bhagavan !' 'dhanya huA tU, saMgama / amaroM kI bhoga-mUrchA se jAga kara, mayoM kI maraNa-jayI pRthvI para aba tU mokSalAbha kA parama puruSArtha kara sakegA !' 'ina zrIcaraNoM ko chor3a kara, aba kahIM jAnA nahIM cAhatA, devArya !' 'arhat niyati se palAyana nahIM krte| use jhela kara hI jItate haiN| ve sadA sarvatra tere sAtha haiN| ve anyatra kahIM nahIM / zaraNa mAtra mAyA hai| tU jo Apa hai, vahI raha, saMgama ! ityalam / '

Page #158
nirAle haiM tere khela, pro antarjJAnI dRDhabhUmi, bidA letA hU~ tumhAre A~gana se / kisane kaha diyA, tuma mleccha bhUmi ho ? tuma to parama AryA ho mA~, tumheM praNAma karatA huuN| AryoM ke deza meM maiM anArya-putra hU~, anAryoM ke bIca maiM Arya-putra huuN| ThIka hI to hai, tumane merI niyati ko antima rUpa se paribhASita kara diyA / varNasaMkara / maiM kisI bhI deza, jAti aura kula kA ho kara nahIM raha sakatA / adezIya, ajAtIya aura akulIna hU~, yA phira sarvadeza, jAti aura kula kA hU~ / yahI ekamAtra merI svAbhAvika sthiti hai| ___o anAryA kahalAtI mA~, tumane pichalI rAta apanI dhRti ke garbha meM se mujhe eka aura bhI pUrNatara janma diyA hai| tumhArI maraNAkrAnta goda meM se maraNajayI hokara uThA huuN| amaroM kA aizvarya aura parAkrama tumhAre paira ke aMgUThe para ThiThakA khar3A raha gayA, kyoMki tumhAre vakSa para car3hakara maiM mRtyu ke AliMgana meM utsaMgita ho skaa| tuma-sI mA~ aura priyA aura kauna ho sakatI hai ? * . . lagatA hai, Aja sUrya svayam dvijanmA hokara udaya huA hai| bahuta bhinna , nayA aura uttIrNa hai Aja kA sUryodaya / isake prakAza meM akhila vastu-jagata kA eka nayA hI ceharA dekha rahA huuN| dRr3ha bhUmi se nikala kara phira Arya bhUmi ke upAnta meM vihAra kara rahA huuN| bahuta dinoM bAda phira aisI bhUkha lagI hai, jaisI ki mAnoM pahale kabhI na lagI thii| barasoM se dekha rahA hU~, merI hara bhUkha pichalI se Age kI aura navInatara hotI hai| vaha koI aisA AhAra mA~gatI hai, jo pahale kabhI na milaa| gokula grAma kA vaha nadI taTa bulA rahA hai / amarAI tale ke kuTIra dvAra para vaha kauna khar3I hai ? gopI vatsapAlikA / paccIsa zatAbdiyoM se vahA~ khar3I tuma kisakA dvArApekSaNa kara rahI ho? kitanI-kitanI bAra tumhArI deha vRddhA huI, marI, kintu tuma to akala kuMvArI hI rahI / muhUrta A pahu~cA hai, aura lo, maiM A gayA huuN| tumhArA vaha manacItA kumAra, jo dvApara meM tumase bichur3a gayA thA, aura DhAI hajAra varSa ho gaye, tumheM kahIM nahIM dikhAI par3a rahA thaa|

Page #159
149 "tiSTha : tiSTha : svAmI, AhAra grahaNa karo, AhAra grahaNa kro| yaha tumhArA kalpa hai, kevala tumhArA / . . ." bhikSuka ne pANipAtra pasAra kara vatsapAlikA ke mRttikA pAtra se DhalatI khIra grahaNa kI / eka aMjulI payasa pIkara, hAtha khIMca liye| 'nAtha * * ! A gaye tuma, mere sarvasva, mere svarUpa * * / ' . 'bahuta madhura hai tumhArA payasa, vatsA / apUrva / ' 'dAsI tara gayI, devtaa|' 'dAsI mara gayI, devii|' 'dUra-dUra jAtA bhikSuka gorambhA nadI ke taTAnta meM A~kha se ojhala ho gayA / vatsapAlikA kuTiyA meM phira na lauTa sakI / vaha A~kha se Age ke vRndAvana meM vihAra kara gaI / zrAvastI AyA huuN| nagara ke prAMgaNa meM kArtika svAmI kI rathayAtrA kA mahotsava bhArI samAroha ke sAtha manAyA jA rahA hai| nagarajana mayUrapaMkhI vastroM meM saja kara, vipula pUjA-sAmagrI ke thAla uThAye, gAje bAje ke sAtha devatA ke pUjana ko nikala par3e haiN| gaMgA pulina kI eka zilA para avasthita huuN| zaMkha, ghaMTA aura turahiyoM ke samaveta nAda aura jayadhvaniyoM ke sAtha deva-pratimA kA abhiSeka kiyA gayA hai| pUjAarcA sapita kara, mahAmUlya kirITa-kuMDala, aMzuka, puSpahAroM se unakA zrRMgAra sampanna huA hai| anantara bhaktagaNa sahasroM kaNThoM ke stuti-gAnoM ke sAtha, vidhipUrvaka deva-vigraha ko ratha meM birAjamAna karane ko tatpara hue| pratimA ko uThAne ke liye bar3he hue kaI hAtha sahasA hI ThiThake raha gaye / . . are, yaha kyA huA ? kArtika svAmI svayam hI devAsana se uTha kara cala par3e haiN| logoM ke Azcarya aura Ananda kA pAra nahIM / romAMcaka harSa ke A~suoM meM unakI antahIna jayakAreM DUba calIM / hajAroM varSoM ke itihAsa meM aisA pahale kabhI huA, kisI ne sunA nahIM thA / dhAtu pratimA meM vigrahIta devatA jIvanta ho kara, svayam hI pRthvI para cala rahe haiN| apane cira janmoM ke duHkhadvaMdvoM se vyAkula virATa mAnava-medanI ke bIca A kara, usake kandhoM se kandhe ragar3ate hue ve cala rahe haiM / Apa hI svayam cala kara, Aja bhagavAna ratha para ArUr3ha hoMge / mAnava-buddhi se itanI pare ghaTI hai yaha ghaTanA, ki dRzya aura darzanArthI, pUjya aura pUjArthI kA bheda isa bhIr3a kI bahiyA meM luptaprAya ho gayA hai| sArA janapravAha devatA ke oredore kIrtanagAna karatA huA, kucha dUra para khar3e ratha kI ora dhaMsA jA rahA hai| * * 'are yaha kyA ho rahA hai ? kArtika

Page #160
150 svAmI ne sahasA hI bhIr3a kI dhArA ko tor3a kara, usake rukha ko dUsarI ora mor3a diyA hai / suvarNa-ratnoM kA bhavya ratha mu~ha tAkatA eka ora khar3A raha gayA hai / * aura ThAkura gaMgA ke dUravartI pulina kI ora druta gati se bar3he jA rahe haiN| kyA svAmI gaMgA snAna kiyA cAhate haiM ? kyA ve anAdikAla se bahatI gaMgA ke taraMga - ratha para ArUr3ha hokara yAtrA kareMge Aja ? vismaya se vizrabdha jana- medinI mAtra mugdha prazrAkulatA ke sAtha, devatA kA anusaraNa kara rahI hai / gaMgA pulina kI laharoM se vicumbita eka zilA para yaha kauna kumAra yogI paryakAsana meM dhyAnastha hai ? kArtika svAmI avikalpa caraNoM se usI ora gatimAna haiM / 'sahasroM bhaktoM kI ekAgra dRSTi, dhyAnalIna yogI ke bhrUmadhya meM udbhAsita eka jAjvalya cakra meM kendrita ho rahI / antara- muhUrta mAtra meM jAne kaba kArtika svAmI usa cakra kI agnila dhurI meM antardhAna ho gaye / zatAbdiyoM se calI A rahI pUjA kI dhArA ko devatA ne svayam eka nayI dizA meM pravAhita kara diyA hai / jAna par3atA hai, ThAkura ne Aja ke pUjA muhUrta meM koI nayA hI rUpa - parigraha kiyA hai / zata - sahasra medinI asamaMjasa meM par3I hai, ki devatA isa naye svarUpa kA kisa nAma se jayajayakAra kareM ? so jayadhvani stabdha ho rahI / mAtra mauna pUjArpaNa kI rAzikRta puSpa mAlAoM se, vaha taraMgavAhI devAsana Dha~ka gayA hai / 'vaizAlI, tere suramya prAMgaNa se bidA hue gyAraha varSa ho gye| isa bIca kaI bAra A kara tere bhItara se guz2ara gayA / tere bhUtala para nahIM AyA, tere bhUgarbha meM hI saMcarita huA hU~ / merA sarokAra tere kAMcana, kAminI aura AkAzagAmI bhavana - zikharoM se nahIM, terI kokha se hai / vaha kokha, jisase merA yaha zarIra avatIrNa huA hai| tere usa hRtkamala ko Aja sattA aura sampadA ke kardama kI moTImoTI tahoM ne AcchAdita kara diyA hai / isa bIca bAra-bAra lauTa kara usI dala-dala kI pAtAlI tahoM meM yAtrA kI hai| tAki ho sake to sadiyoM se jame isa kAdava ko ulIca kara, terI kokha ke hatAhata kokanada ko phira se ujjvala aura Urdhvamukha kara sakUM / isI se phira eka bAra AyA hU~, terI markalata pharzoM para nahIM, tere bhUgarbha ke Adima andhakAra ke talAtala meM / apane anagAra jIvana kA yaha gyArahavA~ caumAsA tere hI nipIr3ita antaHpura meM bitAnA cAhatA hU~ / samara-vana nAmA ujar3e udyAna ke dhvasta aura parityakta baladeva mandira meM cAra mAsa kSapaNa aMgIkAra, kAyotsarga kI mahAsamAdhi meM utara gayA hU~ / svayam hI haladhArI balarAma kA hala bana kara tere manodeza kI patharA gaI mATiyoM kI partoM ko bheda rahA hU~ / * vizAlA purI kA jinadatta zreSThI ekadA sAmAyika meM apanI apAra vaibhava-sampadA ke mUla taka jA pahu~cA / usa udgama ko dekhate hI usakI taheM kA~pa

Page #161
151 utthiiN| sampatti mAtra se use asahya glAni ho gayI / * * 'oha, anavarata mAnuSahiMsA ke binA sampatti kA saMcaya sambhava nhiiN| usI ke AdhAra para vaha TikI hai| * * 'parama zrAvaka jinadatta kI cetanA meM prabala saMvega kA saMcAra huA / usane apanA samasta dhana-vaibhava nimiSa mAtra meM dIna nirdhanoM ko luTA diyaa| * * 'aba vaha ekAkI nirjanoM, khaNDaharoM, smazAnoM meM sAmAyika lIna bhAva se akAraNa hI vicaratA rahatA hai / kaI-kaI dinoM meM ekAdha bAra apanI girastI meM lauTatA hai, jisakA caritArtha vaha eka kammazAlA meM kaThora zrama karake calAtA hai| apanI isa sarvahArA sthiti ke kAraNa vaha loka meM jIrNa zreSThi ke nAma se vikhyAta ho ho gayA hai| * * 'isa bIca jinadatta ko kaI bAra akelA baladeva maMdira ke nibhata ekAnta meM, apane samIpa sAmAyika meM upaniviSTa dekhA hai| merI dhyAnastha mudrA ko nihAra usakI A~khoM meM ujalate A~suoM para nimiSa bhara dRSTi ThaharI hai| usake mukha se ucchavasita hote sunA hai : 'avasarpiNI ke carama tIrthakara ? * * 'prabhu ke durlabha darzana pA kara yaha akiMcana kRtakRtya huA / kaba taka nAtha, kaba taka calegA tumhArI duddharSa tapasyA kA yaha anAhata parAkrama / mujha se aba nahIM sahA jAtA, nahIM dekhA jAtA / . . .' prati dina A kara jAne kitanI dera vaha zramaNa ke kardamacArI caraNoM ko apanI A~khoM ke jala se dhotA rahatA hai| * * cAra mAsakSapaNa kI samApti kA dina A pahu~cA / kArtika pUrNimA kI sandhyA meM Akara usane zramaNa se nivedana kiyA : 'bhagavan, kala prAtaH mujha akiMcana ke dvAra para pAraNa ko pdhaareN|' mere pAsa to sabhI bAtoM kA eka hI uttara zeSa raha gayA hai : mauna / aura pAyA hai ki hara prasaMga para uThane vAle prazna ke uttara meM yaha mauna, jana ke mana meM yatheSTa mukharita huA hai| jinadatta ko bhI usakA uttara milA hI hogaa| * * 'agahana kI pratipadA ke pUrvAnha meM, ThIka muhurta kSaNa Ate hI bhikSuka gocarI para nikala par3A / usake cAhe binA, use koI pahacAna sake yaha sambhava nhiiN| zramaNa to vaizAlI meM kaI Ate rahate haiM, eka yaha bhI sahI / vaizAlI ke upAnta mArga para vaha bhUmi ke kaNa-kaNa para dRSTipAta karatA bhikSATana kara rahA hai| jinadatta zreSThi ne prAsuka aura eSaNIya bhojana kA pAka kiyA hai / vaha apane gRha-dvAra meM AvAhana kalaza uThAye, apane prabhu ke paMtha meM apalaka A~kheM bichAye hai / mana hI mana vaha soca rahA hai : 'jinake darzana mAtra se cetanA mokSa pA jAtI hai, ve arhata jaba merI aMjuli kA AhAradAna grahaNa kareMge, vaha ghar3I kaisI dhanya hogI / kaisI anupama ! mere hAthoM ve cAra mAsakSapaNa kA pAraNa kareMge ?' * * aisI hI taraha-taraha kI kalpanAoM meM

Page #162
152 vaha mudita aura magana hai : prabhu ko apane A~gana meM sammukha pAkara kaisA lagegA? kaise bAra-bAra zIza navA~ kara vaha unakI parikramA kregaa| aura unakA vaha ekameva dRSTipAta / prIti kA yaha Aveza vaha apane meM samA nahIM pA rahA hai| * * kintu jo ghaTita huA, use dekha kara, jinadatta vajrAhata-sA raha gyaa| vaha pukAratA hI raha gayA : 'bho svAmin tiSTa : tiSTha : . . .' aura nagna ballama kI taraha nirbAdha gatimAna prabhu sAmane se nikala gaye / eka nigAha uThA kara bhI unhoMne usakI ora nahIM dekhA / 'hAya, aisA kyA aparAdha ho gayA merA?' jIrNa zreSThI kI tapasyA se jarjara kAyA patte-sI kA~pane lgii| usakI A~khoM se A~sU Dharakane lge| * * prabhu kI pITha kA anusaraNa karatI usakI sajala dRSTi sahasA hI, kucha dUra para garvoddhata khar3I navIna zreSThi kI havelI para ThiThaka gii| . . . usa havelI ke dvAra para koI dvArApekSaNa karatA nahIM khar3A hai| Atithya bhAva se zUnya hai vaha bhavana / ThIka usI ke sammukha khar3e ho kara zramaNa ne pANi-pAtra pasAra diyA / gavAkSa para baiThe navIna zreSThi ne lakSmI ke mada se uddaNDa grIvA uThA kara apanI dAsI ko Adeza diyA : 'kiMcanA, isa bhikSuka ko bhikSA dekara turanta bidA kara deN|' dAsI bhItara jAkara kASTha ke bhAjana meM kulamASa dhAnya le AyI, aura zramaNa ke phaile karapAtra meM use avajJA ke bhAva se DAla diyaa| . . . . . . 'tatkAla AkAza meM deva-duMdubhiyoM kA nAda gUMjane lagA / celotkSepa huA / vasudhArA kI vRSTi hone lagI / nAnAraMgI divya puSpa aura sugandhita jala barasane lge| loga ekatrita ho abhinava zreSThi ke pAsa A pUchane lage : 'yaha kyA camatkAra huA, zreSThi ?' zreSThi gadgad hokara bolA : 'maiMne svayam pAyasAnna dvArA, prabhu ko pAraNa karAyA hai|' AkAzavANI ne samarthana kiyA : 'aho dAnam, aho dAnam !' suna kara prajAjanoM aura gaNarAjanyoM kA bhArI samudAya vahA~ A upasthita huA, aura navIna zreSThi kI vAhavAhI hone lgii| udhara dharatI meM nigar3ita-sA jIrNa zreSThi yaha dRzya dekha kara staMbhita hai| para usake bhItara bhUcAla hai| deva-dudabhiyoM kA nAda suna kara aura vasudhArA kI vRSTi dekha kara vaha gahare viSAda aura vicAra meM DUba gayA hai : 'kyA satya jaisI koI vastu isa sRSTi meM hai ? yA yaha saba mAtra indrajAla hai ? * * dhikkAra hai mujha maMdabhAgI ko| trilokInAtha prabhu naka ne merI avahelanA kara dI aura mAyA para kRpAvanta hue|'

Page #163
rAjA, zreSThi, lokajana vasudhArA se barase dravya ko johane-baTorane meM tanmaya ho gye| zramaNa jAne kaba cupacApa vahA~ se jA cukA thaa| kucha virala jijJAsu aura mumukSu lokajana dUra se usakA anusaraNa kara rahe the| * * 'samarodyAna ke baladeva maMdira meM pahu~ca kara, apane Asana para avasthita ho gayA huuN| tabhI kucha AtmArthI Akara praNata hue, aura pUchA : __ 'bhante zramaNa, isa kSaNa isa nagara meM kauna AtmA ujjvala samyak darzana se maMDita hai?' _ 'jIrNa zreSThi jinadatta !' 'so kaise bhante ? usa hatagAmI ke dvAra para to prabhu kA pAraNa na ho skaa| vaha to navIna zreSThi ke hAthoM haa| usake A~gana meM divya atizaya 'navIna zreSThi ke hAthoM nahIM, kiMcanA dAsI ke hAthoM * * * !' 'Azcarya prabhu, navIna zreSThi to kahatA hai . . .' 'ThIka kahatA hai vaha, use dAna karane ko vivaza honA par3A, para kiMcanA ke hAthoM * * *!' 'nimUr3ha hai svAmI kI riit| hama samajhe nahIM, bhnte|' 'zramaNa kA bhAva-pAraNa to jIrNa zreSThi ke hAthoM hI ho cukA thaa| vaha Apta jana hai, so use bAhara se apanAne kA upacAra anAvazyaka ThaharA / mithyA dRSTi navIna zreSThi kA ahaMkAra parAkASThA para thaa| umakI bhikSA le kara hI, usase nistAra sambhava thaa| divya atizaya mAyA meM bhUle bAlaka kA mana bahalAva hai| samyak dRSTi jIrNa zreSThi usase Upara hai|' 'bhante zramaNa, jorga zreSThi ko manasthiti isa samaya kaisI hogI ?' 'Arya zrAvaka jinadatta abhI-abhI deha-tyAga kara gye| acyuta devaloka meM saMkramaNa kara ve saMsAra kI eka vRhad sA~kala tor3a gaye haiN| apane ko avahelita anubhava kara, par3osI ke ghara divya atizaya dekha, yadi ve khinna na hue hote, to antara-muhUrta mAtra meM unakI AtmA paramojjavala kevalajJAna se Alokita ho utthtii| dhanya hai zrAvaka zreSTha jinadatta ! . . .' mauna, avikalpa, apane meM samAhita, ye sAre praznottara sune haiN| sAkSI hU~, zrotA hU~ kevala ina sbkaa| aura bhItara anAyAsa prabodha kI kaI nayI pa~khuriyA~ khula AyIM haiN|

Page #164
tadrUpa bhava, madrUpa bhava, Atman suMsumArapura AyA hU~ / yahA~ ke AzokakhaMDa udyAna meM azoka vRkSa tale eka zilA - talpa para baiThA hU~ / jo prastuta hai, use basa dekha rahA hU~ / vastu apanI jagaha para hai, hotI rahatI hai : maiM apanI jagaha para hU~, hotA rahatA hU~ / usa aura mere bIca hai kevala darzana / zuddha, avikalpa, akampa darzana | yaha darzana aba aisA askhalita aura dhArAvAhika ho gayA hai, ki cintana anAvazyaka ho gayA hai| 'pahale bhI socanA mere svabhAva meM nahIM rahA : bacapana se hI apane ko kevala dekhate pAyA hai / lagA hai ki socanA, sampUrNa dekhane ke AnaMda meM bAdhaka hotA hai / soca hamAre aura vastu ke bIca AvaraNa paidA karatA hai / usameM aham aura rAga anivArya hai / isI se socanA mithyA darzana hai : kevala dekhanA samyak darzana hai / akhaNDa bhAva se dekhanA hI eka mAtra zuddha vastusthiti hai / * so satata dekhatA rahatA huuN| aura yaha ekAgra darzana kI tanmayatA hI, anAyAsa jAne kaba dhyAna ho jAtI hai / A~kheM maiM mIcatA nahIM, jAne kaba ve Apa hI mica jAtI haiM : ardhonmIlita ho jAtI haiM / 'azoka kA eka rAtula phUla mAthe para TapakA / phira sAmane A girA / bhrUmadhya meM vidyut kA tIvra prakarSaNa anubhava huA / azoka phUla kI lalita lAlI meM, Arakta jvAlAe~ uThane lagIM / bhItara eka dUrAtidUra chora para koI AkAzI khir3akI -sI khula pdd'ii| dRzyoM aura dhvaniyoM kA eka pravAha usameM uphana rahA hai / usameM eka taraMga uThI aura vyApa kara kaI paloM vAle asura loka meM rUpAntarita ho gaI / 'dekha rahA hU~, asura-rAjya kI amaracaMcA nagarI / asurezvara camarendra isI kSaNa apanI upapAda zaiyA meM janma le kara, apanI devasabhA ke siMhAsana para ArUr3ha ho gayA hai| zakti ke mada meM cUra, usane bhrU ucakA kara apane avadhijJAna ke vAtAyana se Upara-nIce cAroM ora nihArA / Urdhva dRSTipAta karane para use dikhAI par3A saudharmendra / apane saudharmAvataMsa vimAna kI sudharmA sabhA meM sahasroM deva-parikara se ghire, mahaddhaka vajradhArI zakendra kA vaibhava aura pratApa dekha kara vaha garjanA kara uThA : 1

Page #165
155 'are yaha kauna indrajAlI hai, jisane mujha se Upara apanI sattA kA siMhAsana bichAyA hai / aprArthita kI prArthanA karane vAlA yaha kauna durAtmA deva mere mastaka para baiTha kara nirlajjatA se vilAsa kara rahA hai ! ' asurendra ke sAmAnika devoM ne mastaka para aMjuli dhAraNa kara namra nivedana kiyA : 'he svAmI, ye mahAparAkramI aura pracaNDa sattAdhArI saudharma kalpa ke zandra '' camarendra bhabhaka utthaa| bhRkuTiyA~ tAna kara nathunoM se phuMphakArate hue vaha bolA : 'o ajJAnI asura devo, mere pratApa ko tuma nahIM jAnate, isI se apane svAmI ke sammukha tuma merI caraNa-dhUli ke eka kaNa jaise tuccha isa zakrendra kI prazaMsA kara rahe ho| tuma dekhoge ki maiM ise apanI eka sA~sa se pissU kI taraha naSTa kara dUMgA / mere hote, aise kITa-pataMge devoM kI jagatI para zAsana kareMge ?' camarendra ke sevaka sAmAnika devoM ne bahuta anunayapUrvaka phira camara ko samajhAyA : 'svAmin, pUrvopArjita puNya se ye zakrendra saudharma pati hue haiM / mahAsattA kI vyavasthA meM unakI samRddhi aura parAkrama, asurezvara camarendra se kaI gunA adhika hai / para apanI jagaha Apa bhI to kama nahIM, hamAre jaise sahasroM asuroM ke rAjarAjezvara haiM / pUrva karmopArjita parAye vaibhava kI IrSyA karane se kyA lAbha ? hamArI sevAoM se santuSTa raha kara apane svArjita aizvarya aura sattA kA Apa nizcinta upabhoga kareM, isI meM ApakA kuzala-maMgala hai / ' apane hI adhInoM ke isa pratibodha ne camarendra kI IrSyA ko jvAlA - giri kI taraha vanhimAna kara diyA / vaha cItkAra uThA : 'o hatateja napuMsako, haTa jAo merI A~khoM ke sAmane se / mujhe tumhArI sahAya kI z2arUrata nahIM / apane isa pratIndra kA dhvaMsa karane ko maiM akelA hI kAphI hU~ / Aja ke bAda sura aura asura rAjya kA bheda samApta ho jAyegA / ina do lokoM ke aba do indra nahIM, eka hI indra hogA / vaha ekameva indrezvara maiM hU~gA, aura pratisparddhAhIna maiM akhaNDa deva-sAmrAjya para zAsana karU~gA / ' tatkAla AkAza mArga se ur3a kara kalpa svargoM para AkramaNa karane ko udyata camarendra, havA para tamAce mAratA huA, apanI AyudhazAlA kI ora dhAvamAna huA / usake mastiSka kI phaTatI nasoM meM viveka kI eka cinagArI phUTI : 'mere mAtahata ye sahasroM asura deva, mere zatru nahIM, sevaka hI to haiM / merI hitecchA se prerita jAna par3atA hai inakA bhAva / 'zAyada 'zAyada

Page #166
156 devayoga se kabhI * * 'merI * * 'parAjaya ho jAye, to isa zakrendra se adhika parAkramI aisI kauna sattA ho sakatI hai, jisakI zaraNa meM jA sakaM . . ?' * * 'camarendra ke avadhijJAna kI eka aura uccatara prakAza-zreNi usake bhItara jhalaka utthii| aura anati dUra, anati pAsa, use eka bhavya dRzya dikhAI par3a gayA hai| * * saMsumArapura ke azoka vana meM carama tIrthaMkara mahAvIra apanI chadmastha avasthA meM mahAtapa ke himAcala kI taraha, apanI kAyotsarga mudrA meM aTala haiM / vaha, jisake aMguSTha para, jagata ke sAre sattAdhIzoM kA mAna mardana ho jAtA hai ! jisake caraNa viloka ke sAre adhIzvaroM kI caDAmaNi se cambita haiN| * * 'jinake caraNoM meM svarga zaraNa khojate haiM ! Azvasta huA camarendra / aura apanI AyadhazAlA meM se apanA vajrapANi nAmA mudgara uThA kara, AkAza ke maNDaloM ko usake aghAtoM se kampita karatA huA, vaha camarendra, vipala mAtra meM mere sammukha A upasthita haA hai| parigha Ayudha ko dUra rakha, tIna pradakSiNA de, namana kara vaha bolA : 'bhagavan, acUka hai merI yaha pratIti, ki maiM ina zrIcaraNoM kI kRpA se usa durjaya, durmatta zakrendra ko lIlA mAtra meM jIta lNgaa| jaba taka vaha mere mastaka para baiThA hai, taba taka mere citta ko caina nahIM, nAtha ! merA yaha manokAmya pUrA karo, aura merI isa asahya pIr3A ko haro, svAmI / tumhAre sivAya aise kapTI ko aura kahA~ zaraNa - - 'avaloka rahA hU~, avabodha rahA hU~, isakI vedanA ke bIhar3oM ko| isake kaSToM ke sarpila AlajAloM ko / * * *isase pUrvabhava meM isa AtmA ne, agale bhava meM apratima sattA, mahattA pAne kI lAlasA se ghora ajJAnI tapa kiyA thA / balAtkArI deha-damana aura antahIna bhukhamarI ke sAtha santhArA karake isane svecchatayA mRtya kA varaNa kiyA thA / jJAnI kA bhoga bhI mokSadAyaka hotA hai, kintu ajJAnI kA ahaMkAra me Arta, raudra tapa mana cAhA phala pradAna karake bhI, cetanA meM nita naye pApoM, santApoM, kapAyoM ke antahIna naraka khola detA hai / ' . 'camarendra, tere ina sAre narakoM kI jvAlAoM ko saha~gA maiM, yadi tU jAga sake * * / bujjhaha ... * * bujjhaha * * bujjhaha, Atman / ' * * 'kitanA hI bar3A pApI kyoM na ho, Atma-samarpaNa ke sAtha prArthI hone para vaha mAhezvarI sattA kA anugRha prApta kara letA hai / * * 'jAnatA hU~, tU nahIM suna rahA hai isa kSaNa pratibodha kI vANI / terI mAna kapAya isa samaya ghaTasphoTa kI anI para pahu~ca cukI hai| akSama pAtra Apa hI phaTa par3egA, usake bAda tU, camarendra, tU apane Amane-sAmane hogA / svayama apanI zaraNAgata / anya koI kisI ko zaraNa nahIM de sakatA, asur| * * 'jA, apanI sAmarthya kI mImA dekha le / kalyANamastu /

Page #167
157 * * aura dekha rahA hU~, apanA parigha Ayudha le kara camarendra IzAna dizA meM gatimAna hai| eka aroka prabhaMjana / usane apanI AsurI vibhUti ke bala, vaikriya samudghAta se, apane rUpa ko yojanoM ke vistAra meM vikurvita kara diyA hai| zyAma kAnti se udbhAsita eka mahA shriir| jaise mUrtimAna AkAza ho| nandIzvara mahAdvIpa kA aMjanagiri jaise jaMgama ho kara dhAvita hai| phailI DAr3hoM kI karavatoM se bhayaMkara ho uThA hai isakA cehraa| isake mukhAgra ke agnikuMDa se uTha rahI jvAlAoM se sArA antarikSa pallavita ho rahA hai| kajjala-giri jaise isake vakSasthala se sUrya-maMDala AcchAdita ho rahA hai| isake bhujA-daNDoM ke saMcAlana se graha, nakSatra aura tAre jhar3a rahe haiN| isake nAbhi padma para eka kuNDI mAra kara baiThA mahAsarpa phuphakAra rahA hai| isake lambe-lambe jAnu Daga bharate hue, parvata-cUlikAoM se TakarA kara, visphoTaka dhvani utpanna kara rahe haiN| apane paga ke avaSTaMbha se yaha bhUmaMDala ko vyAkula kiye de rahA hai| bhairava garjanA karatA huA vaha brahmANDa ko phor3a rahA hai| prati-yamarAja kI taraha vyaMtaroM ko bhayArta karatA huA, apanI siMha-chalA~goM se jyotiSka devoM ke vimAnoM ko santrasta karatA huA, nA kucha samaya meM hI, sUrya-candra ke maNDaloM kA ullaMghana karatA huA, vaha zakendra ke maNDala meM jA pahu~cA hai| usa bhayaMkara kAlamUti ko yoM akasmAt bijalI ke vega se sammukha Ate dekha kara, kilviSa devatA chupa gye| Abhiyogika devatA bhaya-trasta ho, gaThariyA~ bana laDhaka pdd'e| apane sainyoM sahita sAre deva-senApati palAyana kara gye| soma tathA kubera pramukha sAre dikpAla usakI huMkAroM se pasIja kara bhUsAt ho gye| sAre parikara aura aMgarakSakoM se parityakta ekAkI saudharmendra, isa akalpa AkrAmaka ko sAmane pAkara staMbhita hai| aTala gaMbhIra mudrA ke sAtha vaha sannaddha bhAva se apane siMhAsana se uTha khar3A huA hai| * * * ___ camarendra ne dAnavI huMkAra ke sAtha apane eka paga se padma-vedikA ko cA~pA, aura dUsarA paga sudharmA sabhA meM pttkaa| phira parigha Ayudha dvArA indra-kIla para tIna bAra tAr3ana kara, utkaTa bhRkuTi-bhaMga ke sAtha durmada camarendra ne zakendra ko lalakArA : ____'sAvadhAna, zakkara / cATukAroM ke bala tU kApuruSa kaba taka devalokoM para rAjya kara sakatA hai ? dekha, terA pratiyoddhA aura vijetA janma le cukA / aba tU aura tere sAre suraloka, asurezvara camarendra ke caraNoM tale rheNge| . . . sAvadhAna, maiM isa brahmAMDa ko zIrSAsana karA dUMgA, antarikSa gulATa khaayeNge| maiM aura merA asura sAmrAjya Upara ho rhegaa| tU aura terA amara loka, hamArA pAdapITha ho kara rahegA * * / ' .. 'zakendra ne apane avadhijJAna se andhakAra rAjya ke adhIzvara camarendra ko phcaanaa| vismaya ke sAtha sahaja muskurA kara ve saumya svara meM bole :

Page #168
158 'amara, apanA astitva cAhe, to yahA~ se bhAga jaa| yathAsthAna raha, aayussymaan|' __ camarendra isa saumyatA se avamAnita ho, saugunA adhika kopAyamAna ho, dhamapachAr3a karane lgaa| * * 'zakendra kI kamanIya bhauheM pratyaMcA-sI tana utthiiN| avikalpa, nirudvega bhAva se unhoMne camarendra para apanA vajra pheNkaa| jaise pralayakAla kI agni sahasA hI prakaTa ho uThI hai| tamAma sAgaroM ke garbha meM saMcita vidyutrAzi aura bar3avAnala eka bAragI hI phUTa par3e haiN| * * 'tar3a . . . tar3a * * 'tar3a * * taDit TaMkAra karatA huA vaha vajra camarendra ke mastaka para bhannAtA A rahA hai| sUrya ko sahane meM asamartha ulUka kI taraha A~kheM mIca, patte kI taraha tharatharAtA camarendra, vaMTa-ba~dariyA kI taraha zIrSAsana karane laga gayA hai| * * *aura aba vaha, citrA ko dekha jaise camarI mRga bhAga jAtA hai, vaise hI mahAvIra ke caraNa A~khoM meM ujAle vahA~ se susumArapura kI ora palAyamAna hai| . . . ___* * *aura apane pIche use saudharma vimAna ke hajAroM sAmAnika devoM kI dhikkAra vANI sunAI par3a rahI hai| 'are o surAdhama, apanI durgati ko tU svayam dekha / meMr3haka ho kara sarpa ke sAtha muThabher3a kI tuune| bher3a kA baccA tU, hAthI ke sAtha bhir3a gyaa| hAthI kA yaha duHsAhasa, ki aSTApada para AkramaNa kare? sarpa kI aisI durmati kI garur3a ko lIla jAnA cAhe ? o anAtmajJa, apanI sthiti ko jAne binA tUne prakRti ke parama niyama-vidhAna ko tor3anA cAhA, isI se terI aisI durdazA huI hai| ahaMkAravaza brahmAMDI deha dhara kara AyA thA tU, para kSudra rajakaNa kI laghu deha meM rahanA bhI tujhe muhAla ho gyaa| * * devendra hone kI spardhA kI tUne, parama sattA ne terI AsurI mahAzakti bhI tujha se chIna lii| dhikkAra hai, sau bAra dhikkAra hai, tere isa durghaNa ahaMkAra ko| satyAnAza kI khaMdaka ke sivAya, aba tujhe kahIM zaraNa nahIM, o jaghanya pApAtmA !' * * dekha rahA hU~, zakrendra kA vajra diganta vyApI jvAlAe~ vistAra karatA huA camarendra kA pIchA kara rahA hai, aura camara laghutama deha ho jAne ko chaTapaTAtA, apanI antima niyati kI ora, gati se pare bhAgA jA rahA hai| zakrendra ke vismaya kA pAra nahIM / soca meM par3A hai vaha, kisI bhI asura kI yaha sAmarthya nahIM ki vaha prakRti kI maryAdA ko tor3a sake, devendra kI padmavedI ko padAkrAnta kara sudharmA sabhA meM paira dhara sake, zakrendra kI indrakIla kA tAr3ana kara ske| isa vibhUti kA svAmI hU~, phira bhI yaha apanI nahIM lagatI / yaha vyavasthA merI nahIM, svayama sattA kI hai| maiM yahA~ koI nahIM hotA / phira vaha kauna tAqata hai, jisake bala yaha asura sattA kI maryAdA taka ko tor3a gayA ?

Page #169
159 * * 'zakendra ne apane avadhijJAna kA sandhAna kiyA / * * * 'oha, yogIzvara varddhamAna kA zaraNAgata hai yaha asura ! hAya, mujha se bhArI aparAdha ho gayA / maiMne isa para vajra prahAra kiyaa| merA vajra to kyA, loka kI koI daivI, dAnavI, mAnavI zakti isakA saMhAra nahIM kara sakatI / zrI bhagavAn ke zaraNAgata ko mAra sake, aisI tAqata loka meM vidyamAna nhiiN| * * tapobala se bar3A aura koI bala nahIM !' __ . . 'bedama, betahAzA, AtmabhAna bhUla kara indra apane vajra ko lauTA lAne ko bhAga rahA hai| saba se Age camarendra, usake pIche AkrAntA vajra kA jvAlAmukhI, aura usake pIche zakrendra martyaloka kI ora vidyut-vega se dhAvamAna haiN| vajra camarendra ke mastaka para maMDalAtA, brahmAMDIya visphoTa ke sAtha abhI-abhI usa para phaTa par3ane ko hai| * * 'ki lo, vipala mAtra meM jhIMgura se bhI kSudratara ho kara camara, 'trAhimAm nAtha, trAhimAm * * *!' zabda karatA huA tapo-himAcala mahAvIra ke caraNa-yugala ke bIca antardhAna ho gyaa| aura vajra tatkAla eka kSudra cinagArI ko taraha bujha kara, zakrendra kI muTThI meM samA gyaa| * * 'saudharmapati pazcAttApa se vivhala ho kara, trilokInAtha ke zrIcaraNoM meM bhUmisAt ho rhaa| phira kAtara svara meM prArthI huA : ___ 'ajJAnavaza mujha se parama bhaTTAraka prabhu kA aparAdha ho gyaa| samasta carAcara ke mAtA-pitA, paritrAtA ke zaraNAgata para maiMne vajra prahAra kiyaa| kSamA kareM, bhagavan !' _ 'saSTi meM saba kucha, yathAsthAna, yathocita ghaTita ho rahA hai, zakrendra / mahAsattA kI isa dvaMdvAtmikA lIlA se pAra ho kara hI AtmAe~, apane svarUpa meM pratikramaNa kara sakatI haiN| yahA~ kauna kisI kA nyAya kara sakatA hai ? Atma-nirNaya kara, Atman, sarva-nirNaya Apa hI ho rahegA !' samAdhIta ho kara zakrendra lauTa gyaa| taba zrIcaraNa guhA se nikala kara, vaha kSudra kuMthu ho rahA camarendra sammukha huaa| aneka vidha pazcAttApa-vilApa karatA vaha laghu se laghutara huA jA rahA hai| ___'nAtha * * 'nAtha * * 'mujha pApI se adhika kSudra loka meM koI nahIM / nigodiyA jIva bhI nhiiN| isa glAni aura pIr3A meM aba nahIM jiyA jAtA, svAmI !" 'kSudra bhI nahIM, mahat bhI nhiiN| parimANa aura tulanA se pare, apane nija rUpa meM, tU atulya hai Atma n, anupama ! kevala tU, kevala maiN| ananta, amApa kevala Apa jo na puNya hai, na pApa |...viNdhyaacl ke vibhela grAma

Page #170
160 vAsI gRhastha pUraNa, pahacAna rahA hU~ tujhe| ghora ajJAnI tapa karake, tUne vizva para prabhutA pAnA caahii| tapa kabhI niSphala nahIM hotA / saMkalpita phala detA hI hai| terA ahaMkRta manokAma siddha huaa| vizva-pIr3aka asurendra kI sarvasaMhAraka sattA tujhe prApta huii| usa sattA kI sImA bhI dekhI tuune| aba dekha, isase pare kI ananta sattA ko| Atma-sattA, svayam apanI sattA!' 'use to samakSa bhagavAna meM mUrtimAna dekha rahA hU~, he parameSThin / ' 'tadrUpa bhava, Atman ! madrUpa bhava, Atman !' . 'prabuddha huA, bhagavan / ' * * 'padanakha para eka aura azoka phUla A kara ttpkaa| nIlezvarI dhyAna-jyoti ke AliMgana se mukta ho kara, bahirmukha huaa| dhyAna meM abhI dekhI ananta saMsAra samudra kI eka taraMga-lIlA kA smaraNa ho rahA hai| isameM kauna kisakA aparAdhI hai, kauna nirNaya kare? apane sivAya, kauna yahA~ kisI kA kartA, dharatA, hartA ho sakatA hai ? kevala eka jJAna, eka kriyA antima nirNAyaka hai, nirmAyaka hai| AtmajJAna, aatmkriyaa|... prazna anivArya ho kara sAmane A khar3e hote haiN| uttara jahA~ hai, vahA~ se acUka pratidhvanita hotA hI hai| maiM to kucha socatA nahIM, bolatA nahIM, karatA nhiiN| kevala cupa rahatA hU~, svayam hotA rahatA hU~, aura saba dekhatA rahatA huuN| yaha mahAvIra kauna hai ? * * 'nahIM mAlUma / ...

Page #171
jo yahA~ hai, vahI vahA~ hai vicitra hai yaha sthiti / samaya jaise simaTa gayA hai / sArA avakAza bhItara samA gayA hai / gati eka mAtra, apanI raha gaI hai / anya sArI gatiyA~ mAnoM usI kA aMza ho gayI haiN| sAre padArtha, bhUgola, itihAsa merI raktazirAoM meM taraMgita haiM / cala nahIM rahA, apane ko calate hue dekha rahA hU~ / aneka parvata, nadI, grAma, nagara mere calate pairoM ke gopuroM meM se yoM gujara rahe haiM, jaise bahate pAniyoM kI tahoM meM jalacara rilamilAte dikhAI par3ate haiM / aura dekhA, ki vindhyAcala pAra kara rahA hU~ / zAzvata parvata vindhyAcala / jisakI caTTAnoM, kAntAroM aura jaMgaloM meM lAkhoM varSoM kI sthAvara, jaMgama aura mAnava pIr3hiyoM ke ullAsa, saMgharSa, parAkrama aura jayalekhAe~ aMkita haiM / car3hate hue sUrya ke sAtha, zItala saghana vanaspatiyoM ke loka vASpita ho rahe haiN| unakI pAnIlI gandhoM meM bhavAntaroM kI jIvana - lIlAe~ saMsarita ho rahI haiN| isa hariyAlI taralatA meM kAlAtIta ho kara sRSTi kA sArA itihAsa tairatA dikhAI par3a rahA hai / zAzvatI meM jiye hue apane jAne kitane hI pUrva janmoM ko isa kSaNa jaise eka sAtha sampUrNa jI rahA hU~ / aba se sattAisa bhavAntaroM pahale, apane purUravA ke sAtha usakI bhIlanI kAlI ko, apanI Daga bharatI TA~goM meM aTUTa yugala kI taraha isa kSaNa bhI calate dekha rahA hU~ / 'aura jI rahA hU~, abhI aura yahA~, apanI kumArAvasthA kI vaha sandhyA, jaba isI vindhyAcala kI caTTAna para vaha koI eka anAmA kAlI phira mila gaI thiiN| isa Adima parvata kI AtmA usa dina deha dhAraNa kara mujha se milane AyI thI / aura isa kSaNa bhI vaha merI nAr3iyoM meM spandita hai / anAdikAla se aba taka kA dekhA, jiyA, bhogA, sahA-sa kucha mAnoM mere raktANuoM kI dIvAroM para caMcala citrapaTa-sA ubhara AyA hai / kahIM kucha TUTA yA chUTA nahIM hai / eka aTUTa jIvana-mekhalA ko apane Asa-pAsa parikramAyita anubhava kara rahA hU~ / vindhyAcala kI sarvocca cUr3A para khar3A huuN| aura apAra dUriyoM meM phaile mAlava ke suramya hariyAle paThAroM ko dekha rahA hU~ / aura kahIM alakSya meM aMkita AdyA nagarI ujjayinI mere pairoM ko khIMca rahI hai| usake mahAkAlI

Page #172
162 mandira ke prAMgaNa meM nara-bali kA vArSika utsava bar3e samAroha se manAyA jA rahA hai| AryAvarta ke zrAvaka zreSTha vaizAlIpati ceTakarAja kI putrI mahArAnI zivAdevI kI rAjanagarI ujjayinI meM nara-bali kA mahotsava ho rahA hai| vartamAna kI mausI shivaadevii|* * 'bali ke liye upayukta sarvalakSaNa-sampanna puruSa abhI upalabdha nahIM ho sakA hai| mahApratApI avantInAtha caNDapradyota ke azvArohI usakI khoja meM dizAe~ khUda rahe haiN| * * Azvasta hoo zivA, caNDapradyota, vaha bali puruSa svayam hI tumhAre mahArAjya kI deharI para A upasthita huA hai| dekho, vaha tumhAre vindhyAcala kI isa cUr3A para khar3A hai| .. 'dina DUbane kI belA meM kSiprA ke eka sunasAna taTa para A kara mere paira ApoApa ruka gye| cAroM ora nigAha uThA kara dekhA : yaha smazAna bhUmi hai, ujjayinI kA atimustaka nAmA smshaan-ghaatt| * * 'ghirate pradoSa kI belA meM koI ekAkI citA jala rahI hai| mRtaka ke parijana usake citAlIna zava kA parityAga karake abhI-abhI jA cuke haiN| kevala nIlIsindUrI jvAlAe~ usakI ekamAtra sAthI haiM / kahIM bahuta dUra alakSya meM eka kutte ne bhUka kara merA svAgata kiyA hai| * * usa parityakta udAsa sannATe ke marma kA vahI ekamAtra saMgIta hai| citA meM ciTakhatI haDDiyA~ aura carbI usake antare haiM : Antarika svaragrAma / * * *aura yaha saMgIta bhI jisa taTa meM avasAna pA gayA hai, nIravatA ke usa chora para maiM anAyAsa hI dhyAnastha ho gayA huuN| .. kSiprA kI cirakAla se avirAma pravAhita dhArA ekAeka ruka gii| usane mur3a kara dekhaa| usakI vikala rAginI mere bhItara A kara stabdha ho gaI hai| nadI ne mujhe phcaanaa| usakI aura merI nigAheM miliiN| aura usI kSaNa eka tIsarI nigAha hamAre bIca khula utthii|' * * trilocana mahAkAla, aura koI nahIM, maiM hI AyA hU~ : tumhArA vitIya nayana !' mahezvara prIta ho kara muskurA aaye| unake lIlA-nATya kI isa antima bhUmikA kA atithi aura kauna ho sakatA hai ? . . . rAta gaharAtI jA rahI hai| zeSa citA kI bhasma meM DhaMkA ekAkI aMgArA raha-raha kara dahaka uThatA hai| vaha ekamAtra A~kha, jo cira jAgRta hai, jo yahAM kI ekamAtra upasthiti hai / jo merI akelI saMgI aura sAkSI hai| pIpala antima bAra marmarA kara abhI-abhI khAmoza ho gayA hai| aba havA taka stabdha ho gaI hai| aura isa aphATa sannATe meM kevala bhaya-bhairava kI nagna padacApa spaSTa sunI aura dekhI jA sakatI hai /

Page #173
- 163 * * kSiprA ke para pAra bahuta dUra, avantInAtha caNDapradyota ke vipula aizvarya se jagamagAte hue rAjamahAlaya jAne kyA dekha kara staMbhita haiN| unakI AkAzagAmI cUr3AoM ke ratnadIpa caukanne ho uThe haiN| * * kala prAtaHkAla hI, narabali kA muhUrta hai, para abhISTa bali-puruSa kA dizAntoM taka patA nahIM hai| sAre AzvArohI pRthvI ke choroM taka jA kara nirAza lauTa Aye haiN| aura aba avantI ke mahA senApati, mahAmAtya aura koTibhaTa yoddhA svayam caMDIyajJa ke AkheTa narottama kI khoja meM, a~dhiyAroM kI taheM ulaTa rahe haiN| isase pUrva bali-puruSa kabhI itanA durlabha na huaa| isa bAra zUnya kI caTTAna sAmane A khar3I huI hai| * * 'ujjayinI ke mahAyAjaka kahate haiM, ki yadi muhUrta Tala gayA to avantI kA siMhAsana bhUsAt ho jaayegaa| usakI rakSA kA antima upAya hogA kevala yaha, ki svayam avantInAtha * * 'balivedI para * * *? kalpanA mAtra se caNDapradyota eka sA~sa meM sau bAra maraNa kI kAlI bahiyA meM gote khA rahA hai| ratnoM aura phUloM se ladI rAjazaiyA zRMgArita arthI-sI tharatharA rahI hai| mahArAnI zivAdevI zava ke pairoM jaise ThaMDe apane patideva ke caraNataloM meM mAthA DhAla kara, anavarata bahate A~suoM se unheM garamA rahI haiM, aura sisakiyA~ bhara rahI haiN| * * * 'zAntam, zAntam zivA, caNDapradyota ! bali-puruSa svayam hI A gayA hai| muhurta se pahale hI tumhArA naramedha saMpanna ho cukegaa| jisa mRtyu aura smazAna se tuma itane bhayabhIta ho, tumhArI vartamAna sukha-zaiyA aura siMhAsana usI meM biche haiM : vahIM par3e haiM unake paaye| tumhAre usa smazAna ko apanI chAtI para dhAraNa kiye khar3A huuN| mujhe pahacAna sako, to kala ke yajJa-muhUrta meM, tumhArI zaiyA, aura tumhArA siMhAsana, zAzvata jIvana kI bhUmi para ArUr3ha ho sakate haiN|' * * 'dekha rahA hU~, ujjayinI ke mahAkAla mandira kA grbhgRh| kAla kI caMcala dhArA para, anAdikAla se avicala adhiSThita hai yaha svayambhU jyotirliNg| yaha kisI martya mAnava-zilpI kI kRti nahIM : svayam sRSTi ke mahAzilpI ne isake bhItara apane Apako piNDIkRta kiyA hai, rUpAyita honA svIkArA hai| liMga, jo sRSTi ke jIvana kA srotomUla aura mRtyu eka sAtha hai, usI ke rUpa meM prakaTa honA, yahA~ svayam amRtezvara ne aMgIkAra kiyA hai| martya pRthvI kI kAmezvarI yoni ko bheda kara, ve yahA~ uttiSThita haiN| jIvana ke saMvAhaka maraNa-dharmA kAla ko unhoMne apane mastaka para mahAsarpa ke phaNAmaNDala ke rUpa meM dhAraNa kiyA hai| cira pravAhI vizuddha kAla-tatva yahA~

Page #174
mahAkAlezvara ke aMgUThe tale staMbhita hai| devAdhideva yogIzvara zaMkara Aja apane hI isa piMDIkRta liMga para ArUr3ha ho kara, apUrva prasanna mudrA se muskurA kSiprA taTa ke ketakI aura mAlatI kuMjoM ke sAre hI phUla pUjA bana kara dhUrjaTI ko cAroM ora se Avarita kiye haiN| madhya rAtri ke gabhIra sannATe meM, chata meM TaeNge ratna-kumbha meM se raha-raha kara liMga para Tapakate jalabindu kA 'Tapa * * 'Tapa' zabda spaSTa sunAI par3atA hai| dhUpAyanoM se uTha rahI dazAMga dhUpa kI agaru-kapUrI gNdh| usase suvAsita garbhAlaya kI dIvAreM galagala kara, dhUmra-laharoM meM asaMprajJAta gaharAvoM ke alinda khola rahI hai / ekAkI suvarNa dIpa kI akhaNDa jota usa stabdhatA meM anahada nAda ko sAkAra kara rahI hai| kone ke sahasra-jota dIpAdhAra meM nAnAraMgI maNiyoM kI AbhAe~ pratipala navya-nUtana AkRtiyA~ raca rahI haiN| sRSTi sAre lIlA-khela unameM eka bAragI hI taraMgita haiM / __.. 'sthANu rudra abhI-abhI atimuktaka smazAna se lauTa kara mandira meM AyA hai| vaha jyotiliMga ke yoni-mukha para mastaka DhAle sASTAMga praNipAta meM jAne kitanI dera se nizcala leTA hai| mana hI mana usake oThoM se prArthanA kara rahI hai : 'he triloka aura trikAla ke adhIzvara, devoM ke deva, IzvaroM ke Izvara, parama paramezvara, mahezvara, pRthviyoM kI pRthvI, AkAzoM ke AkAza, ? mahAmaNDalAkAra zUnyoM ke ekamAtra kaivalya-vihArI, ekalacArI virAT puruSa, bhagavAna mahAkAlezvara, suneN| * 'yaha kauna digambara puruSa tumhArA pratispardhI ho kara Aja tumhArI lIlA bhUmi atimuktaka smazAna meM A khar3A huA hai ? martya mAnava-putra kA aisA duHsAhasa, ki vaha svayam mRtyuMjaya mahAkAlezvara kI sattA ko cunautI de rahA hai ! '- 'maiM aura koI nahIM bhagavan, ApakA parama kRpApAtra aura priyapAtra sevaka sthANu rudra huuN| maiM svayam usake sammukha gyaa| maiMne use llkaaraa| are Apa ke hI aMgIbhUta maiMne, svayam zaMkara ne, use sambodhana kiyaa| para vaha uddhata ApakI pralayaMkarI dahAr3a suna kara bhI Tasa se masa na huA / avikampa, sudhIra, dhRtimAna sAkSAt mandarAcala kI taraha nirbhaya aura nizcala rhaa| merI ora A~kha uThA kara bhI usane nahIM dekhaa| pRthvI meM aisA koI pauruSa Aja taka nahIM janmA, jo usa bhayaMkara bhairava smazAna meM yoM AdhI rAta vicaraNa kara sake, aura svayam mahAkAla kI garjanA suna kara bhI jo avicala raha ske|

Page #175
165 --- AjJA deM bhUtanAtha, zakti deM sakala brahmANDapati, ki maiM devAdhideva zaMkara kI bhattA ko cunautI dene vAle isa mAnava-putra tApasa ke durjaya tapo-garva ko chinnabhinna kara skeN| usakI samAdhi ko pairoM tale rauMda kara, use jIvita jalA kara, usakI bhasma se mahAkAlezvara ke zrIcaraNoM ko carcita kara sakU~ / ' sthANu rudra ko anubhava huA ki jyotiliMga kampAyamAna hue haiM / aura gumbada meM se gabhIra pratidhvani huI : 'yathA ava tathA anyatra : jo yahA~ hai,vahI vahA~ hai / AdinAtha * * *AdinAtha! . . . yahA~ bhI vahI, vahA~ bhI vahI / anya koI nahIM / ' . . ' * * vANI cupa ho gaI / sannATA aura bhI gaharA ho gayA / zabdAtIta parama zAnti meM jagata kA aNu-aNu vizrabdha ho gayA hai| * azAnti zeSa raha gaI hai kevala sthANu rudra kI kaSAya se paMkila AtmA meM / apane ahaMkAra ke sivAya vaha aura kucha bhI dekha pAne meM asamartha hai / so yaha vANI usake jar3ita hRdaya ko jAgRta na kara skii| kiMkartavyavimUr3ha pahelI bujhatA-sA, vaha cahu~ ora tAkatA raha gayA hai / usake ahama ne jo samajhAyAH vahI usane samajhA 'jo yahA~ hai, vahI vahA~ hai / jo AdinAtha yahA~ hai, vahI usa smazAna meM bhI merI sahAya ko upasthita haiM, usa naMge zivadrohI ke mAnabhaMjana meM ve acUka sahAya kareMge hii| * *ore ulaMga utpAtI, chadma digambara, 'le maiM AtA hU~, aura tere digambaratva ke mada ko cUra-cUra karake hI caina luuNgaa| . . ' * * *aura sthANu rudra durmatta ahama se garajatA huA, vidyut vega se atibhuktaka smazAna kI ora dhAvamAna hai| * * *dhyAna meM cetanA kA abhisaraNa deha ke sImAntoM ko pAra kara gayA hai| eka AyAmavihIna gahana meM prANa rakSAtIta ho kara, Upara, nIce, cahu~ ora aparichinna bhAva se vyApate jA rahe haiM / eka.anAhata prasAraNa, pravAhana aura uDDayana ke atirikta aura koI bodha zeSa nahIM raha gayA hai| - - hAt brahmANDIya visphoTa ke sAtha, sArI smazAna bhUmi tumula kolAhala se bhara utthii| dekha rahA hU~, mere AsapAsa saikar3oM citAe~ jala rahI haiM. . . 'rAmanAma satya hai !' kI gaMjoM ke sAtha, eka para eka kaI smazAna-yAvAe~ calI A rahI haiN| mere pAdaprAnta meM athiyoM aura nagna bhayAvane zavoM ke Dhera lagate jA rahe haiN| kAle cUMghaTa kAr3he striyoM ke vizAla samudAya chAtI-phATa vilApa karate A rahe haiM / giddha, kauve, ullU aura kutte zavoM ke asthi-mAMsa nocate hue paraspara saMgharSa kara rahe haiM / aura nAnA prakAra se, zoka-viSAda ke udbodhaka samaveta rUdanagAna, tArasvara meM gA rahe haiM / * * *aucaka hI jAne kahA~ se dhamAke para dhamAke hue : pRthvI phaTa kara kaI pAtAla loka khula pdd'e| antarikSa vidIrNa hote dIkhe / * * * unakI vikarAla

Page #176
166 jabar3oM-sI darAroM meM se nikala kara bhUtoM, pretoM, vyaMtaroM, vaitAloM, cuDailoM, DAyanoM ke antahIna samUha maMDalAkAra apane cAroM aura nAcagAna karate dekha rahA hU~ / vIbhatsa, bhISaNa, bhayaMkara haiM unake zarIra, jo kabhI U~ce aura vistRta ho kara AkAza ko chA lete haiM, kabhI sikur3a kara TiDDI dala-se mujha para TUTa par3ate haiM / unakI gAnatAnoM, nakkAr3oM, DholoM, mRdaMgoM, zRMgoM aura turahiyoM ke saMgIta meM yaha kaisA gaharA viSAda hai / usameM sRSTi ke prANi mAtra ke saMgharSa, mAra-phAr3a, duHkha, Akranda, zoka, vilApa eka bAragI hI AlApita ho kara digantoM ko tharrA rahe haiM / sahasA hI kyA huA ki, una nAcate-kUdate preta-maNDaloM para chalA~ga mAra kara, eka tuMgakAya tamasAkAra danuja mUrti pracaMDa huMkAra aura dhamAke ke sAtha, ThIka mere sAmane A dhamakI / koyale ke pahAr3a-se usake vidrUpa vIhar3a zarIra para siMdUra kI pravAhita-sI dhAriyA~ haiM / usakI krodha se visphAsti ratanArI A~khoM meM jvAlAmukhI thame haiM / usake hA~phate jabar3oM meM hiMsra pazuoM se bharI adhiyArI khandakeM haiM / . . usane apane donoM hAthoM ke prakAMDa trizUla bijaliyoM kI kar3akar3AhaTa ke sAtha aMtarikSa meM uchAla kara, har3akampI aTTAhAsa kiyA / phira apane trizUloM ko jhela kara unheM merI ora saMcAlita karane lgaa| ...aura haThAt kyA dekhatA hU~, ki ve sAre nAcate-gAte danuja-maNDala titarabitara ho kara gutthama-gutthA ho rahe haiM / * *aura cAroM ora se mujha para jalatI citAe~ barasa rahI haiN| noce-khasoTe, lahUluhAna, durgandhita zava mere aMga-aMga para A kara par3a rahe haiM / mere mastaka aura kandhoM para jalatI mazAleM pheMkI jA rahI haiN| prahAra, pIr3ana, tAr3ana, dahana kI ye sArI AkrAntiyA~ guNAnuguNita ho rahI haiM / ' - para dekha rahA hU~, vindhyAcala ho kara raha gayA huuN| aura isa asahya saMtrAsa se ghAyala merA cAroM ora phailA prANa udvelita ho uThA hai / vaha mere hRdaya-gavhara se vedanA aura karuNA ke nirjhara kI taraha phUTa par3A hai / vindhyAcala ke antastala se, carmaNavatI bhUtala para baha AyI hai| zramaNa ke pAsa to isake atirikta aura kucha dene ko hai nahIM / * para, kauna hai yaha mahAvIra, jo vindhyAcala kI cUr3A para acala khar3A, ardhvabAhu AvAhana de rahA hai : 'dekho, maiM A gayA hU~, tumhArA bali-puruSa * * * !' __.. citAoM, zavoM, trizUloM, mazAloM kI antahIna bauchAroM ke bIca bhI vaha Upara, aura Upara hI uThatA jA rahA hai| hAra kara rudra devatA kA krodha parAkASThA para pahuMca gayA / dAnavIya dahAr3a ke sAtha usane apane samasta rudraloka ko isa naMgadhaDaMga DhITha para TUTa par3ane kA iMgita kiyA / huMkAroM aura hUlakAroM ke sAtha haz2AroM bhayAvaha AkRtiyA~ AkAzinI ho kara eka sAtha mujha para TUTa rahI haiN| . . . .. ki haThAt eka mazAladhArI sainya ke bedama daur3ate ghor3oM ne unheM rauMda ddaalaa| vipala mAtra meM hI bhayaM aura mRtyu kA vaha Apathiva dRzya jAne kahAM lupta ho gyaa|

Page #177
167 avantI ke mahAsenApati, mahAmAtya aura sainika staMbhita, isa sarvalakSaNa sarvAMga sundara nagna puruSa ko dekhate raha gaye ! Ananda se unhoMne jayanAda kiyA : 'jaya mahAkAlI, jaya jagadambe, jaya mahAkAla, jaya mahAkAla, jaya mahAkAla mAna-saMbhrama pUrvaka usa nagna bali- puruSa ko eka bhavya-divya ratnoM ke ratha meM baiThAyA gayA / puruSa ne unnata vadana, niSkampa, muskurAte hue isa bali-sammAna kA kA varaNa kara liyA / * ' brAhmamuhUrta kI saMjIvanI havA meM balipuruSa ke ratha ko ghere daur3ate azvArohI, harSAkula jayakAreM karate hue, mahAkAlI maMdira ke caNDI-maNDapa kI ora ur3e jA rahe haiM / * ' mahAkAlI maMdira ke tahakhAne meM dhyAnastha hU~ / dekha rahA hU~, merI mUrddhA para, apane garbhagRha kI caTTanI vedI ke madhya, virAjamAna haiM mahiSAsura mardinI mhaacnnddikaa| unakI viplavI tAMDava mudrA anAyAsa komala lAsya kI bhaMgimA meM pariNata hotI jA rahI hai / unakI vikarAla lapalapAtI jivhA unake mukha meM apasArita ho gaI hai| unakI nathar3I tale, unake adhara-sampuTa meM, cumbana ke makaranda se bharA lalita lohita kamala muskarA uThA hai / unake sarva-saMhAraka tAMDavI caraNoM meM mRdu-manda nupura-rava runajhunA rahA hai| unakI sunagnA mohinI jaMghAoM ne phaila kara mAno mujhe samUcA apane urumUla meM samAhita kara liyA hai / aura dhyAna meM aisI sarvAzleSI samAhiti anubhava kara rahA hU~, ki mAno akhila vizva brahmANDa mA~ ke stana - maNDala meM visarjita ho kara mere mastaka kA sirahAnA bana gayA hai / '' bAhara se sunAI par3a rahA hai duMdubhiyoM kA AkAza - vidAraka mahAghoSa / kaIkaI DamaruoM aura mRdaMgoM kA lomaharSI avirAma vajra - ninAda / yugAnta ke samudragarjana ko pratidhvanita karane vAle zaMkhoM kI samaveta dhvaniyA~ / raNa-bheriyoM kA tumula nAda / aura anubhava kara rahA hU~, mere kuMbhakalIna zvAsa meM kisI apUrva sRSTi-saMgIta ke svara-grAmoM kI racanA ho rahI hai / dekha rahA hU~, bali-puruSa kA vividha prakAra ke gaMdhajaloM aura paMcAmRta se abhiSeka kiyA gayA hai / mahArgha phUleMloM se usakI anaMga- mohana kAyA ke pratyeka sukomala avayava ko basAyA gayA hai / phira usake sAre hI aMgAMgoM para sukomala divya aMgarAgoM kA Alepana kiyA gayA hai| mahAbhAga hai yaha bali-puruSa, jisakI vadhasthala para car3hane vAlI deha kA, mRtyu ke taTa para, aisA dulAra zRMgAra ho rahA hai / mujhe usase IrSyA ho AI !

Page #178
168 . vAjitoM, zaMkhoM, nakkAr3oM kA ghoSa caNDa se caNDatara hotA diggajoM ko dahalA rahA hai / hIroM se jagamagAtI haMsa-dhavala pAlakI meM, nagna khar3aga ke samAna austrmAna bali-puruSa ko caNDI - maNDapa meM lAyA gayA hai| ujjayinI ke durdaNDa malla bhI usakI nizcala kAyA ko mor3a kara use baiThAne meM samartha nahIM ho sake haiM / balidAna ke muhUrta meM kAyotsarga mudrA hI to bali-puruSa kA ekamAtra Asana ho sakatA hai / isI se mahAzramaNa kA kAyotsarga Aja himavAna kI taraha anamya ho uThA hai / dekha rahA hU~ : caNDI-maNDapa ke vizAla vitAna tale, mAlava- janapada kI sahasroM mAnava medinI bhaya-vivhala kaNTha se avirAma jayajayakAra kara rahI hai : 'mahiSAsura mardinI, zuMbha-nizuMbha saMhAriNI, bhagavatI mahAkAlI jayavanta hoM / mahAmahezvara, rudra-pralayaMkara bhagavAna mahAkAla jayavanta hoM jayavanta hoM jayavanta hoM / ' ThIka mandira hAra ke sammukha lAla- mATI se Alepita prazasta maMDalAkAra balivedI banI hai / usake cAroM ora kaI paMktibaddha havana kuNDa dhadhaka rahe haiN| Rtvika ke maMtroccAroM ke sAtha sahasroM yAjanika unameM nAnA sugandhita havyoM kI AhutiyA~ de rahe haiM / balivedI ke ThIka kendrasthala meM vizeSa rUpa se kATa kara lAyI gaI vindhyAcala kI eka U~cI caTTAna Aropita hai| usake zIrSa ko phUloM se AcchAdita kiyA gayA hai / caTTAna ko vartulAkAra ghera kara kaI bhayaMkara AkRti vAle bhairava aura kApAlika khar3e haiM / unake pracaNDa kajjala - lepita zarIra sindUrI trizuloM se citrita haiM / ve parigha, muzala, pAza, parazu, trizUla Adi vividha zastra dhAraNa kiye haiM / ThIka caTTAna ke agala-bagala do pramukha vadhika bijaliyoM se camacamAte nagna khaDga tAne khar3e haiM / gale meM ve muNDa - mAlAe~ dhAraNa kiye haiM / ' ThIka balivedI ke sammukha, vizAla mAnava samudra ke bIca eka saba se U~ce takhte para bichA hai avantInAtha kA suvarNa - ratnima siMhAsana / usameM caNDapradyota apanI mahArAnI zivAdevI ke sAtha, markata- muktA kI jhAlaroM se suzobhita sapheda caMdove tale Izat manda muskAna ke sAtha ArUr3ha haiM / pratihAriyA~ una para ca~vara Dhola rahI haiM / para yaha kyA ho gayA hai mahArAnI zivA ko, ki unakI deha zava kI taraha zveta aura jar3ita ho gaI hai / unakI A~kheM patharA gaI haiN| 'sahasA hI 'jaya mahAcaNDike, jaya mahAkAlI, karAlI, karavAlI, muNDamAlinI kI tumula cItkAreM aura hu~kAreM gUMja utthiiN| usake sAtha hI kaI kApAlikoM ke hAtha khar3agAsana bali-puruSa ko pAlakI meM se uThAne ke liye bar3he / kintu usa narottama ne donoM hAtha uThA kara unheM roka diyA / ' aura palaka mArate meM vaha eka hI chalAMga meM svayam hI, yathAvat khar3agAsana mudrA meM, mAraNa- zilA para A khar3A huA / vismaya kI eka virATa nistabdhatA vyApa gii| aisA to pahale kabhI huA

Page #179
16.9 nahIM / yUpa sUnA hI mu~ha tAkatA raha gayA / usase ba~dhane kI vivazatA isa narapuMgava ne svIkAra nahIM kI / svayam hI isane bali vedI kA varaNa kara liyA / haz2AroM kaNThoM se 'jaya bholAnAtha jaya zivazaMkara ! ' kI jayadhvani barabasa phUTa par3I / usa digambara kAmadeva ke vadhasthala para AsIna hote hI, upasthita mAnava- medinI meM mUrcchA ke hilore daur3a gaye / sahasroM nArI kaNThoM se kAtara sisakAriyA~ phUTa par3IM / 'hAya, yaha kisa mAI kA lAla hogA? dhanya hai vaha kokha, jisane ise janA hai ! ' aura sahasra-sahasra komala kokheM, aura godiyA~ use jhelane ko Akula vyAkula ho uThIM / sahasra-sahasra ramaNI-stana umar3a Aye aura unake A~cala bhIMja gaye / mAlavavasundharA ke vakSa kI kAlI, lacIlI, mRdulA mATI dhasakane lagI / usake ataloM bhItara dUdha ke samudra hillolita hone lage / 'bali-puruSa para kamaloM aura nAnA sugandhita puSpoM kI mAlAe~ barasane lagIM / mallikA, pArijAta aura bemI phUloM kI vRSTi ne use DhA~ka diyA / megha-mandra dhvani meM, mahARtvika maMtroccAI aura stotra pATha karane lage : * OM namazcaNDikAyai, OM namazcaNDikAyai, OM namazcaNDikAyai OM aiM hrIM cAmuNDAyai vicce / OM glauM huM klIM jUM sa: jvAlaya jvAlaya jvala jvala prajjavala prajjavala aiM, hrIM klIM cAmuNDAyai vicce jvala haM saM laM kSaM phaT svAhA / dhAM dhIM dhuM dhUrjaTe patnI vAM vIM vUM vAgadhIzvarI / krIM krU kAlikA devi zAM zIM zuM me zubhaM kuru / huM huM huMkAra rUpiNyai jaM jaM jaM jambhanAdinI / bhrAM bhrIM bhraM bhairavI bhadre bhavAnyaMte namo nama : / aM kaM caM TaM taM paM yaM zaM vIM daM aiM vIM haM kSaM dhijAgraM dhijAgraM voTaya troTaya dIptaM kuru kuru svAhA / .... 'zaM zaM zaM mA~, daM daM daM mA~, mahAcAmaNDe, mahAkAlI, karavAlI, vikarAlI, sarvaasura saMhAriNI, digambarI. tANDavakarI, iMdaM bali grahaM grahaM grahaM mA~ !' " makkAr3oM aura DamaruoM ke vajraghoSa parAkASThA para pahu~ce / dharatI vidIrNa hone lagI / AkAza phaTane lagA / mahARtvika ke saMketa para agala-bagala khar3e vadhikoM kI nagna talavAreM bijaliyoM kI taraha kauMdha kara bali-puruSa ke mastaka para sana-sanAne lagIM / 'haThAt brahmANDoM ko hillolita karatA huA eka ghanaghora viplavakArI visphoTa huA / vadhasthala ke ThIka pIche bali-vedI phaTa par3I / ' rudra huMkAra karatI bhagavatI mahAkAlI sAkSAt prakaTa ho kara, balidAna - zilA para ArUr3ha ho giiN| kaI

Page #180
170 muNDamAlAoM se zobhita, sahasrAkSa, sahasrapAda, sahasrabhujA, nAnA zastrAstroM, se sajjita ve bhayaMkArI, digambarI, pralaMyakarI mahAtANDava karane lagIM / loka-hRdaya meM zavIbhUta ho gaye ziva kI chAtI para paira dhara kara, ve apanI tamAma zoSita, pIr3ita, Arta, vasta, Akranda karatI koTi-koTi bhUkhI-naMgI mAnava-santAnoM ke paritrANa ke liye, digantavyApI asuroM, pIr3akoM, zoSakoM AtatAyiyoM para bhayaMkara visphoTakArI Agneya astroM kI varSA karane lgiiN| 'bAhimAM mAM, vAhimAM mA~' pukArate, bhayArta krandana karate RtvikoM, yAjanikoM aura zata-sahasra prajAjanoM ko dikhAyI par3A : ..caNDapradyota kA ratnima rAja-siMhAsana satyAnAza kI jvAlAoM se ghira kara nIce dhasaka rahA hai| aura usake sAtha hI, usake AsapAsa jAne kitane hI sattAsiMhAsana Aga ke samudra meM Ubha-cUbha hote dikhAI par3a rahe haiM / caNDapradyota aura mahArAMnI zivAdevI siMhAsana se laDhaka kara, bali-caTTAna ke pAdaprAnta meM A par3e haiM / ve Arta svara meM avirAma pukAra rahe haiM : * * * trAhimAM mAM, trAhimAM mA~ ! ... ___ haThAt pralaya, vinAza aura vahni-maMDaloM kI vaha rudralIlA jAne kahAM vilIna ho gii| carama-parama nagnA sarvasaMhAriNI mahAkAlI, sarva manamohinI lalitA bhuvanezvarI ke komala rUpa meM muskurAtI dikhAI pdd'iiN| una parAtparA digambarI ke lAvaNya siMdhu se jvArita nIlotpala vakSadeza para vaha digambara bali-puruSa nirdoSa zizu kI taraha utsaMgita hai| apanI sarvakAminI bAhuoM se mAM ne apane usa AtmajAta beTe ko abhinna bhAva se AliMgana meM bA~dha liyA hai| * 'prakRti ne apanI kokha se isa bali-muhUrta meM, apane apUrva nUtana vizva-sRjana ke liye, eka aise puruSa ko janma diyA hai, jo adyAvadhi purANa, itihAsa aura kAlacakra meM atulya hai, apratima hai| * * . animeSa nayana sabako dikhAI par3A : pUrNimA ke pUrNa candrodaya kI taraha mAM ke usa hemAbha mukhamaNDala se amRta-kalAe~ barasane lagIM / virAT meM khile ekAkI kumuda kI paMkhuriyoM jaise unake muskurAte oMTha spandita hue / gaganamaNDala ke gahana athAha meM se atizaya mArdavI vANI sunAyI par3I : ___maiM prIta huI, maiM paritRpta huI / merA cira pratIkSita puruSottama A gayA, merA paritrAtA A gayA / * * aba taka jo bhI balipuruSa merI balivedI para Aye, ve svArthiyoM ke balAtkAra ke AkheTa ho kara Aye / vaha Atmalipsu zoSakoM kA yajJa thA, merA nahIM / usase sarvabhakSI balAtkAra kI pAzavI zaktiyA~ janmIM aura Aja AryAvarta sarvanAza ke AsurI jabar3e meM A par3A hai / . . '. . 'are suno, prathama bAra Aja Aye haiM puruSottama pazupatinAtha / ' prathama bAra AtmAhuti dene Aye haiM, svayam yjnypuruss| AtmahotA vedapuruSa, pUSan / : .. ___ 'maiM prIta huI, maiM parituSTa huI / asura-nirdalita merI koTi-koTi santAnoM ke paritrAtA, muktidAtA A gaye / - A gaye mere mahAkAla puruSa, mAnava-tanadhArI ho kara A gye|

Page #181
171 'ore ajJAnI Rtviko, parabali nahIM, nirdoSa pazubali nahIM, Atmabali, AtmAhuti, Atmahavana karo / apane hI bhItara chupe svArthalipsu pazu kI bali do / svayam aMgirA, agnihotrI ho kara janme haiM Aja merI kokha se| ve svayamhI AtmAhuti dete Aye haiM / he Rtviko, he Aryajano, ina parama yajJezvara ke caraNoM meM apane janma-janmAntaroM ke saMcita pazutva kA balidAna karo / A gaye mere mahAkAla puruSa, A gaye mere parama paramezvara, A gaye mere digambara, zivazaMkara, bholAnAtha A gaye * * * !' ___isa anAhata vANI meM, samasta loka kA prANa ekIbhUta, vizrabdha ho gayA / sahasroM A~khoM se jharate A~sU ekameva kSiprA kI dhArA ho gye| ___.aura tabhI mahAkAla mandira ke suvarNa-zikhara se pratidhvani sunAyI par3I : 'yathA ana tathA anyatra : jo yahA~ hai, vahI vahA~ hai : jo yahA~ hai, vahI vahAM hai / * * * *AdinAtha * * * *AdinAtha * * *AdinAtha / vizvanAtha barddhamAna vizvanAtha varddhamAna' - 'vizvanAtha varddhamAna ! 'itthaM prabhava RSabho'vatArI hi zivasya me / satAM gatirdIna bandhurnavabhaHkathita stava // ' * * *aura vindhyAcala ke zikharoM se guMjAyamAna huA : 'mahAkAla mahAvIra jayavanta hoM, mahAkAla mahAvIra jayavanta hoM, mahAkAla mahAvIra jayavanta hoN|' * * *zRMga se zRMga para Daga bharatA. ekAkI AryAvarta ke ArapAra cala rahA huuN| merI dhamaniyoM meM mahAkAla kA DamarU baja rahA hai| mere rakta kI bUMda-bUMda meM mahAkAlI tANDava nRtya kara rahI hai| ..

Page #182
maiM candana bAlA bola rahI hU~ 'varddhamAna, Akhira tuma cale hI gaye * ?' : tumhAre mahAbhiniSkramaNa kI khabara pAkara, itanA hI to mere mu~ha se nikalA thA / udAsa ho kara vAtAyana kI meharAba thAme, usake khambhe para mAthA DhAla kara khar3I raha gayI thI aura sUryAsta taka bhI mujhe hoza nahIM AyA thA / mUrtivat staMbhita thI, aura dizAoM ke pAra dUra-dUra jAtI tumhArI pITha dekhatI raha gaI thii| jAnatI thI tumhArI niyati / phira bhI isake liye mana ko taiyAra na kara sakI thii| 'ki aucaka hI tuma jhaTakA de kara jA cuke the| aura merI niyati ? nandyAvarta mahala meM, prathama bAra tumase milane ke bAda usa ora se dhyAna hI haTa gayA thA / kevala tumhArI ora nigAha lagI rahatI thI / apanI ora dekhane kI sudha hI kahA~ rahI thI ! jaise maiM raha hI nahIM gayI thI / phira kisakI niyati ? kauna soce ? lekina jaba tuma cale gaye, to apane meM lauTa Ane ko tuma mujhe vivaza kara gaye / apanI ora dekhane ke sivAya, aura tumane kucha bhI mere liye sambhava na rahane diyA / aura taba merI apanI niyati sAmane A kara khar3I ho gii| kitanI praznAkula aura a~dhiyArI ! andhakAra kI parvata zreNiyA~, jo AvAhana de rahI thIM : 'ArohaNa karo hama para !' itane acUka, sundara, ujiyAle, pAradarzI tuma ! kevala yahI varadAna mere liye pIche chor3a gaye ? pahacAnate ho varddhamAna, maiM candanA bola rahI hU~ ? tumhArI candana mausI / mausI to dUra, apanI candana kI bhI aba tumheM kahA~ yAda hogI / digantoM para vihAra kara rahe ho / antarikSoM meM vicara rahe ho / deha aura padArtha se le kara prANi mAtra ke mana-manAntaroM meM samAna rUpa se gatimAna ho| jar3a aura jaMgama kA bheda bhUla kara yakasA saba ke ArapAra yAtrita ho| aise meM mujhe alaga se pahacAnane kI z2arUrata tumheM kahA~ rahI ? usase tuma Age jA cuke / tumhAre darzana ke ananta virAT meM eka lar3akI kA kyA mUlya ? sAre hI puruSottama hamArI hI goda se uTha kara bhI, antataH hameM basa gaye / hameM AdhI rAta zaiyA meM sotI chor3a jAne meM bhI ve kabhI nahIM

Page #183
173 hicke| aura phira lauTa kara bhI nahIM dekhaa| tisa para tuma to tIrthaMkara ho kara janme ho| loka ke Aja taka ke sAre sUryoM ke ananya pratisUrya / sUrya ko kyA garaz2a ki vaha kisI vizeSa ko pahacAne / vaha to saba para samAna rUpa se camakatA hai| tumhAre mahAprasthAna kI sUcanA, pUrva sandhyA meM hI vaizAlI. pahu~ca gayI thii| suna kara nasoM meM bijaliyA~ kar3aka uThI thiiN| tanI pratyaMcA kI taraha pratIti huI thI : 'tumhArI hara yAtrA ke chora para maiM khar3I huuN| * * *o digambara, maiM hU~ tumhArI digambarI, tumhArA digambaratva / tumhArI digvijaya ke digantoM ko maiMne apanI kalAiyoM para cUr3iyoM kI taraha dhAraNa kara rakkhA hai|' . . . abhimAna A gayA thA mana meN| nahIM, maiM nahIM AU~gI tumheM bidA dene / merI sattA ke hara paNimana meM jo khela rahA hai, usakI bidAI kaisI? sAre loka-lokAntaroM ko jaya kara ke eka dina tumhIM ko lauTa AnA hoMgA mere paas| * * 'bar3I bhora hI kaI ratha mA~, pitA, bhAiyoM-bhAbhiyoM, aneka parijano ko le kara kuNDapura ko prasthAna kara gye| mujhe sAtha le calane ko sAre mahaloM aura udyAnoM ke kone-a~tare chAna DAle gye| para merA patA koI na pA skaa| indroM aura mAhendroM ke sAre svarga tIrthaMkara ke dIkSA-kalyANaka kA utsava racane ko, kuNDapura ke prAMgaNa meM utare the| para candanA usa meM kahIM nahIM thii| apane antara-kakSa kI vaibhava-zaiyA ko bheda kara, nagna pRthvI se AliMgita thI vaha / apanI chAtI kI vyathA meM, gamanAgamana kI sArI mAyA ko usane vyartha kara diyA thaa| * * 'mujha se jA kara mujhI taka pahuMcane kI isa mahAyAtrA ke yAtrika kA svAgata karU~ yA use bidA dUM, isI asamaMjasa meM par3I thii| * * 'antartama meM yaha pratIti cAhe jitanI hI aTala rahI ho, para deha, prANa, mana, cetana, indriyA~ cUra cUra hotI calI gayIM thiiN| apane astitva kI asmitA aura iyattA ko pArthiva meM bA~dhe rakhanA mere vaza kA nahIM raha gayA thaa| * 'mere bAra-bAra bulAne para bhI tuma kabhI vaizAlI nahIM aaye| Akhira . hAra kara maiM hI AyI thI tumhAre paas| usa dina kAyA bhale hI vahA~ se lauTI ho, para maiM phira usa kakSa se lauTa kara A nahIM skii| prathama dRSTipAta meM hI jo tumhArA svarUpa dekhA, to vismaya se avAk raha gii| lagAM thA ki * * * raMca bhI nayA, aparicita, anya koI nahIM hai yaha ! smRti jAgane ke dina se hI mere svapna ke kSitija para jo ajJAta anaMga yuvA khela rahA thA, vahI A~khoM Age sAkAra ho gayA / cakSuoM kA dekhanA jahA~ samApta ho jAtA hai, vaha avAGga-manasa-gocara rUpa dekhA / merI hara umaMga aura cAha

Page #184
174 kA acUka uttara ! * * 'bahuta tarka aura kasauTI karake bhI, apane se anya, bhinna, pratikUla tumheM aNu mAtra bhI kahIM se na dekha sakI, nA pA skii| calatI baira pUche binA na raha sakI thI : 'phira kaba miloge?' uttara meM tuma samarpita ho kara svAmI ho uThe the : 'jaba cAhogI ! * * 'jaba pukArogI, aauuNgaa|' * * ekadama niSThura ho kara lauTI thI : nahIM * * nahIM cAhU~gI, kabhI nahIM pukaaruuNgii| mauta sAmane A khar3I ho, taba bhI nhiiN| * * 'Aja isa kSaNa jahA~ hU~, vahA~ se bhI nhiiN| yamarAja ko pukAra sakatI hU~ yahA~ se, para tumheM nahIM * * tumheM hargiz2a nahIM / mere pairoM kI yaha ber3I aura isa tala ghara kA yaha a~dherA, mujhe tuma se adhika priya hai| kyoMki yaha merA arjana hai, yaha merA svayaMvaraNa hai| tuma kauna hote ho mere? tumheM merI AvazyakatA nahIM : to mujhe bhI tumhArI AvazyakatA nhiiN| milana kI cAha aura pukAra merI hI ho, tumhArI nahIM ? yahI to kahA thA, tumane usa dina bidA ke kSaNa meM / * * 'nahIM, tumhArI kRpA kI mujhe z2arUrata nahIM hai| * * 'nahIM, tumhArI cAhata kI bhikhAriNI nahIM ho skuuNgii| tumhArI vItarAgatA tumheM dhanya aura mubAraqa rhe| A~sU, dUdha, khUna, vyathA se bhIgI dharatI hU~ maiM : anurAginI dharitrI, tumhArI jnetrii| jisakI kokha se tuma janme, jisakI goda se tuma uThe, jisakI chAtI khUda kara tuma vItarAgatA ke zikhara para ArUr3ha hue ho| * * 'tuma apane meM rho| mujhe apane meM rahane do| nahIM, mujhe tumhArI qataI z2arUrata nahIM hai / . . . .. 'ThIka lagna-muhUrta Ane para ekAeka tuma vaizAlI aaye| AryAvarta kA bhAvI tIrthaMkara, licchaviyoM kA kula-sUrya, apanI prajAoM se milane AyA thA usa din| merI pukAra para, mujha se milane tuma nahIM aaye| * * 'nahIM, maiMne tumheM pukArA bhI nahIM thaa| jo anavarata pukAra bhItara macI thI, use yoM cupa kara diyA thA, jaise dIye kI lau para tarjanI rakha kara use masala diyA ho| * * para yaha kaise chupAU~ ki vaha kucalI huI lau, jaMgala-jaMgala dAvAgni kI taraha phaila gayI thii| eka pAgala pukAra ke sivAya, aura koI astitva hI merA nahIM raha gayA thaa| vaizAlI ke jana-samudra para ArohaNa karate, tumhAre 'tribhuvana-tilaka' ratha meM, tumheM siMha-mudrA meM ArUr3ha dekhaa| kitane aparicita, kitane suparicita, kitane apane, kitane parAye, kitane pAsa, kitane dUra tuma eka sAtha lage ! * * 'roMyA-roMyA romAMca se ro aayaa| sArI deha kapUra kI taraha prajjvalita ho kara galatI hI calI gii| tumhAre yugatIrtha kI mahAdhArA ko pratyakSa sAmane se bahate dekhA : usakI eka ajJAta taraMga ho kara, usameM cupacApa visajita ho rhii| * * phira bhI raha-raha kara, ratha meM tumhAre bAyeM kakSa meM baiThI dikhAI par3a rahI thI pagalI candanA !

Page #185
. 175 socA thA, nahIM jAU~gI saMthAgAra meN| nahIM sunanA mujhe tumhArA abhi. bhASaNa / kyA nayA sunanA hai usameM candanA ko? usake aNu-aNu meM nirantara hI to bola rahe ho| pratipala tumhArI ajasra sarasvatI kI nipaTa-nirIha zrotA hI to ho kara raha gaI huuN| tumheM sunate hI cale jAne kI tarasa aura pyAsa kA anta nahIM rhaa| * * to tuma cupa kaise raha sakate the| mere ekAnta kA AkAza tumhAre sadeha zabdoM se Akula hokara mujhe chAye rhtaa| aura eka bAra dekha lene para jo rUpa merI putalI bana kara raha gayA, use alaga se aura kyA dekhanA thaa| barauniyoM ke gavAkSa-reliMga para khar3A, vaha kauna sadA jhA~ka rahA hai ? * * 'palakoM ke kapATa mUMdate hI, antara-kakSa kI kamala-seja para akelI to kabhI na rhii| . . . - phira bhI kucha aisA lagA, ki chAtI kA eka Tukar3A kaTa kara sAmane A khar3A huA hai| usakI USmA ko sahe binA, aura usakI dhamanI ko mune binA caina nhiiN| * * 'saMthAgAra meM tuma bole| zravaNa aura darzana se pare, merI deha mAtra kisI kI Agneya vANI ho kara raha gyii| * * 'antimetam diyA tumane, ki tuma vaizAlI chor3a kara cale jAoge : tuma hamAre USmA bhare rasa-raMga bhare, saMsAra kI sImAoM se niSkrAnta ho jaaoge| tuma ina apsarAkUjita raMgamahaloM se muMha mor3a jaaoge| anAgAra ho kara vIrAnoM meM vicroge| ___tumhAre SaDyaMtra aura cakravyUha ko khUba samajha rahI thI / so usakI dhurI bana kara prastuta ho gayI thii| * * lekina tuma sacamuca hI cale jAoge, yaha to kalpanA bhI na kara sakI thii| * * para, eka dina acAnaka sunAI par3A : 'varddhamAna gRha-tyAga kara gye|' * * 'eka Thokara sIdhI A kara merI chAtI para lagI thii| mAno vaha cunautI vaizAlI aura loka ke prati na ho kara, sIdhI mere lalATa ke tilaka para A kara TakarAI thii| bezaka * * kyoM anivArya ho ki mujhe pUcha kara jAo tuma ? maiM hotI hI kauna hU~ ? anantoM kA samrATa kisI kI anumati lekara nahIM calatA ! ____ saMthAgAra se mahAlaya lauTane ko mana mukara gyaa| vaizAlI ke sUrya ne jina mahaloM ke aizvarya meM Aga lagA dI, unameM lauTa kara kyA kruuNgii| aura phira yaha bhI jAnatI thI, ki tuma ghara Aoge, saba AtmIya parijanoM se milne| taba sAmane na AU~, yaha kaise ho sakatA hai| * * 'mere bulAye to tuma Aye nahIM, phira sAmane Ane kI vivazatA merI kyoM rahe? * * 'nahIM, mujha nahIM milanA hai tumse| merI g2araz2a kI pukAra jaba hogI taba dekhA jaayegaa| tumhAre bhItara to aisI koI pukAra nahIM, ki tumheM kevala mere pAsa AnA par3e, yA maiM tumhAre pAsa Ane ko phira vivaza ho jaauuN| tumheM mujha se kucha pUchanA nahIM hai, kahanA-sunanA nahIM hai, to mujhe bhI tuma se kyA pUchanA

Page #186
176 hai ? tuma apanI marjI ke mAlika ho| aura maiM hU~ kevala tumhArI marjI / phira dekhane-sunane, milane-milAne kI bAta hI kahA~ uThatI hai ? mahAlaya ko na lauTa kara, sIdhI AyudhazAlA ko calI gaI thii| azvapAla ko Adeza diyA thA, ki merA ghor3A sajja karake prastuta kre| phira zastrAgAra meM jA kara yoddhA kA veza dhAraNa kiyA thaa| ThokareM mAra-mAra kara, dIvAroM aura AlayoM meM TaeNge, vaizAlI ke Adi purAtana mahAmUlya zastrAstroM kA Dhera lagA diyA thaa| anantara kavaca aura zirastrANa para, manamAne kaI zastrAstra dhAraNa kara liye the| aura phira mukta kezoM ko havA meM laharAtI, unmAdinI kI taraha vaizAlI ke rAjamArgoM para apanA ghor3A pheMkatI calI gaI thii| hAtha meM sanasanAtI naMgI talavAra ko sAmane ke antarikSa meM pheMka kara, apane ghor3e ko uchAla kara, usakI TApoM se use nirdalita karatI nikala gayI thii| eka-eka kara apane Upara dhAraNa kiye sAre zastrAstroM ko rAha para luTAtI calI gayI thii| merI nasoM meM tumhAre zabdoM kI mAMtrika bijaliyA~ laharA rahI thiiN| so zastra mAtra kI zakti ko nirasta kara dene ke udvelana se maiM pAgala ho gayI thii| * * *aura dekhanA cAhatI thI tumhArI usa asmitA aura prabhutA ko, jo usa sabere vaizAlI ke jana-jana aura AkAza-vAtAsa para chA gayI thii| kezariyA dhAraNa kiye, licchavi yuvA-yuvatiyoM ke dala ke dala, nagara ke hara rAjamArga, haTTa, paNya, antarAyaNa, aura vIthiyo meM tumhArA prazastigAna karate, nAcate-kUdate dikhAI par3a rahe the| mere pheMke zastrAstroM ko uddAma ullAsa ke sAtha apane padAghAtoM se kucalate hue, ve tumhArI jayakAroM se AkAza tharrAne lagate the| __.. phira vaizAlI ke siMhatoraNa para pahu~cate-pahu~cate maiMne kavaca aura zirastrANa bhI utAra pheMke the| merA kezariyA uttarIya bhI, tharatharAte kulAcaloM jaise mere kandhoM para Thahara nahIM sakA thA / unmukta kezAvaliyoM ko bheda kara uchalatI sunagnA chAtI ko dizAoM para pheMkatI huI, maiM siMhatoraNa ke pAra ho gaI thii| tumhAre jaya-ninAdoM se AkrAMta usa AkAza aura pRthvI meM kyA asambhava thA? tamAma jar3IbhUta maryAdAeM dhvasta ho kara, usa antarikSa-maMDala meM dhUla ke bagUloM aura ghAsa-phUsa kI taraha ur3a rahI thii| uDDIyamAna prabhaMjana jaise apane ghor3e kI pITha para, kitane bhUvalayoM aura dhuvalayoM ko pAra karatI calI gaI, patA hI na cala sakA / * * 'agale dina sabere hI lauTanA ho sakA thaa| * * sAmane par3ate hI mA~ mujhe bhujAoM meM bhIMca kara ro par3I thiiN| isa anahonI beTI se kaiphiyata mAMgane kA sAhasa to ve kabhI kara nahIM sakI

Page #187
177 thI, so Aja bhI pUcha na sakI ki kahA~ calI gayI thI maiM ? para bar3I kasaka aura sisakiyoM ke sAtha batAyA thA unhoMne ki tuma Aye the aura mujha ko pUcha rahe the| * * kataI tumheM koI acambhA yA zikAyata nahIM thI, ki maiM kyoM nahIM hU~ vahA~ tumhArI pratIkSA meM! ulaTe samarthana aura sAmI dI thI tumane mAM ke samakSa, ki maiM jaisI hU~ aura jo karatI haiM vaha saba acUka aura ThIka hai : candanabAlA g2alata ho nahIM sakatI! .. bhAga kara, apane kakSa meM calI gaI thii| dvAra banda kara, dhar3Ama se pharza para jA girI thii| phUTa-phUTa kara rotI hI calI gaI thii| dharatI mujha se alaga to kahIM raha nahIM gaI thI, jo phaTa kara mujhe samA letii| phaTI kevala apanI hI chAtI, aura usameM samA kara jahAM pahuMcI, vahA~ tuma khar3e ye avicala aura ekAkI, muskurAte hue| * * 'lokAkAza kA vaha tanuvAtavalaya, jisake Age siddhAtmAoM aura paramAtmAoM kI bhI gati nhiiN| maiM hAra gii| merI sArI matiyAM aura gatiyAM khAmoza ho gyiiN| mahAprasthAna ke bAda ke ina dasa-gyAraha barasoM meM, kaI bAra tuma vaizAlI Aye / Akara jaba cale jAte the, tabhI havA meM udanta sunAyI par3atA thA, mahAzramaNa varddhamAna yahA~ A kara cale gye| tumhAre bina cAhe tumheM koI pahacAna sake, yaha tumane kisI ke hAtha nahIM rakkhA thaa| apanI sattA kA svAmI jo ho gayA thA, vaha eka hI rUpa kI iyattA kA bandI ho kara kaise raha sakatA thaa| jise kucha bhI chupAnA nahIM thA,' vaha hamAre carma-cakSuoM ke dekhane-dikhAne meM kaise simaTa sakatA thA? * .. * * *aura phira tumhAre liye merI pratIkSA, vaizAlI kI sarahadoM aura rAjamArgoM para kaise aTaka sakatI thI? kyoMki merI A~kheM to sadA se tumheM kSitija ke maNDaloM para calate dekhane kI abhyasta ho gaI thiiN| tAroM bharI rAtoM meM tumheM aksara eka graha se dUsare graha taka Daga bhara calate dekhA thaa| taba maiM svayam bhI kahA~ isa zarIra kI sImA meM raha pAtI thI? . . . phira yaha bhI to mujha se chupA nahIM thA, ki apane kAla aura loka kI vikRtiyoM ke viruddha, eka apratiruddha SaDyaMtrI kI taraha tuma uThe the / tuma nire pRthvI-paTa ke parivrAjaka nahIM, samasta vizvaprANa ke parivATa ho kara vicara rahe the / tuma vaizAlI ke rAjamArgoM para nahIM Ate the, apane sara ke bala usakI kokha ke talAtala meM dhaMsate cale jAte the| taba apanI kuMvArI kokha meM jo phaTAna kI asahya madhura pIra anubhava hotI thI, usI se jAna jAtI thI ki tuma Aye ho / * taba tana-badana kI sArI sudha-budha hI calI jAtI thI / mUrchA ke usa mAdhurya meM kaba kahAM hotI thI aura kyA karatI thI, patA hI nahIM calatA thaa|

Page #188
178 phira yaha bhI thA, ki tumhAre jAne ke bAda una aizvarya-mahaloM kI chateM, dIvAreM aura sukha-zaiyAe~ hI mujhe bairana ho gayIM thiiN| kahA~ rahatI thI, aura kyA karatI thI, pUcha kara kyA karoge? aura vaha jAnane kA hoza hI kahA~ raha gayA thaa| balAt jo pahale hI milana meM, merI sArI gatividhiyoM kA svAmI ho gayA thA, usase alaga merI aura kyA gati-vidhi ho sakatI thI? . . . * * 'barabasa hI Aja bAlApana kI yAda A rahI hai| dekha rahI hU~, solaha barasa kI candana ko| apane hI mRNAla se ucchinna ho kara, dizAoM ke choroM para khelane calI gayI vaha kmlinii| apanI hI paMkhuriyoM ke AliMgana meM na samA sakane vAlI vaha caMcala ldd'kii| yAda AtA hai, vaizAlIpati kI sabase sundara, choTI aura lAr3ilI beTI hone se, sAre AryAvarta ke AtmIya rAjakuloM kA mujha para behada pyAra thaa| mujhe livA le jAne ko, prAya: hI merI saba dIdiyoM, mausiyoM, buAoM ke rAjyoM ke ratha Ate the| kaI-kaI dina ve mahAlaya ke rAjadvAroM para mere lie pratIkSamAna rahate the| mAM-pitA, bhAI, parijana saba samajhA kara thaka jAte the| para apane ekAnta kakSa se hilane kA nAma taka nahIM letI thii| phira, kakSa meM hI kahA~ Tika pAtI thii| kabhI ratha le kara, aura kabhI ghor3e kI pITha para car3ha kara jAne kahA~-kahA~ ur3I phiratI thii| vipulAcala, vaibhAra aura gRddhakUTa ke zikharoM para khar3I ho kara, rAjagRhI ke ratna-kuTTima prAsAda-vAtAyanoM ko ekaTaka nihArA karatI thii| kalpanA karatI thI, celanA dIdI inhIM mahAlayoM ke jAne kisa antara-kakSa meM, jAne kyA kara rahI hoMgI, jAne kisa soca meM DUbI hoNgii| khar3e jAnU para cibuka TikAye, udAsI meM ibI unakI mukha-mudrA kI chApa hI mere mana para sabase gaharI aMkita thii| unake kaumArya ke ekAntoM meM unheM prAyaH isI bhaMgimA meM dekhA thaa| usa samaya unake pAsa jAne kI himmata nahIM hotI thii| kabhI jI na mAnA, to jA kara pIche se galabA~hI DAla kara, unakI pITha para jhUla jAtI thii| taba mujhe khIMca kara ve goda meM le letI thIM, aura chAtI se cA~pa kara kitanA pyAra karatI thiiN| mere bAloM ko sahalAtI huI, mujhe cumbanoM se DhA~ka detI thiiN| unakI bhInI A~khoM meM baMdhe samandaroM ke lauTate jvAroM ko maiM dekha letI thii| unakI A~khoM meM A~kheM DAla kara pUcha letI thI : 'dIdI, aise udAsa kyoM ho jAtI ho? saca batAnA, merI zapatha hai !' ruAMsI ha~sI ke sAtha ve khilakhilAkara kahatI thIM: 'pAgala kahIM kI, maiM kyoM udAsa hone lagI? dekhatI to hai, kitanI ha~sI A rahI hai mujhe !'

Page #189
179 aura unake mukha se ha~siyoM ke phaMvvAre phUTa par3ate the| .saca hI to kahatI thIM dIdI, una jaisI ha~sor3a aura vinodI prakRti to hamAre ghara meM kisI kI nahIM thii| kAraNa-akAraNa duranta, alhar3a bAlikA kI taraha ve zarArata, vinoda aura ha~siyoM meM kallola karatI rahatI thiiN| unakI ina kautuka-krIr3AoM meM sabhI taMga A jAte the| * * para unakI akAraNa udAsI ke ekAntoM kA rahasya mere sivAya koI nahIM jAnatA thaa| isI se apane saba parijanoM aura dIdiyoM meM, kevala unheM hI maiMne apane antaraMga ke nikaTatama pAyA thaa| isI kAraNa jisa dina abhaya rAjakumAra unakA haraNa kara le gayA thA, usa dina maiM apane kakSa ko banda karake, kitanI roI thI, koI nahIM jAna sakA thaa| lagatA thA, vahI to merI akatha atarvedanA kI ekamAtra saMginI thIM / adbhuta sAmya thA, hama donoM kI antaHprakRti meN| faraqa itanA hI kara sakatI hU~, ki ve prakaTa meM sabake bIca rasa-basa kara culabulApana karatI rahatI thIM, jabaki maiM apane ekAntoM se hI bAhara nahIM A pAtI thii| hamAre bIca itanA Antarika ekatva hone para bhI, yaha kabhI sambhava na ho sakA, ki hama apane hiye kI pIr3A ko hoThoM para laayeN| jisa pIr3A kA koI prakaTa kAraNa hI na ho, usake viSaya meM kyA bAta ho sakatI thii| apanI-apanI gaharAiyoM meM DUbate-utarAte, usa abUjhatA ko cupacApa sahanA hI to hotA thaa| . 'usa dina jo abhaya rAjakumAra unheM hara le gaye, usake bAda ve phira kabhI prakaTataH apane pIhara na lauTa sakIM / sAmrAjya-lolupa magadhapati ne celanA ko aMkastha karake, mAno vaizAlI ko apane pairoM tale rauMdane kI AtmatuSTi mahasUsa kI thii| unakI sAmrAjya-sthApanA kI rAha meM, ajeya vaizAlI hI to sabase bar3A ror3A thii| usa vaizAlI kI sUryAMzI beTI ko apanI zaiyAGganA ke rUpa meM pA kara unakA. ahaMkAra asIma ho uThA thaa| jaba magadha aura vaizAlI kA saMgharSa parAkASThA para pahuMca rahA thA, aura videhoM kI muktivAhinI bhUmi ko balAtkArI mAgadha apanI phaulAdI padacApoM se tharrA rahe the, taba barasoM bAda vivaza ho kara, patideva kI AjJA kA ullaMghana kara, gupta rUpa se dIdI vaizAlI AyIM thiiN| usameM bhI kevala vaizAlI kI rakSA kA svArthI bhAva hI nahIM thA, zAyada magadhanAtha kI kalyANa-kAmanA hI sarvopari rahI ho| tabhI ve sahAyatA kI prArthinI ho kara, tumhAre pAsa bhI AyIM thIM, mAna ! para tuma to kisI ke sage nahIM the, apane taka nhiiN| tumane celanA mausI ko coMTa dene meM koI kasara nahIM rakkhI thii| para vicitra huA thA, ki ve tumhAre nikaTa apanA hRdaya hAra AyIM thiiN| unake hoThoM para eka hI bAta thI :

Page #190
180 'varddhamAna hai, to phira cintA kisa bAta kI? vaizAlI aura magadha kI to bAta kyA, sArA jambUdvIpa usakI tarjanI ke izAroM para Ta~gA huA hai !' * so to svayam hI apanI A~khoM dekha AyI thii| tumheM dekha lene ke bAda, koI soca zakya hI nahIM raha gayA thaa| dIdI ke cale jAne ke bAda antima rUpa se ekAkinI ho gayI thii| taba apane ekAkIpana ko AMkhoM ke sAmane sadeha khar3A dekhatI thii| lekina vicitra lagatA thA, ki vaha tumhIM to ho| mAno ki, utanI akelI hue binA, tumheM saMgI ke rUpa meM nahIM pAyA jA sakatA ! . . .

Page #191
antara- dvIpa kI ekAkinI rAjakanyA taba apane pIche chUTI kizorI kI yAda var3I madhura kasaka ke sAtha AtI thI / smRti jAgane para pahalepahala jaba apane mana se paricaya huA, tabhI jAna gayI thI ki sabase alaga aura anokhA mana pAyA hai maiMne / sabase birAnI hotI-sI hI maiM bar3I ho rahI thI / mAno ki sabase haTa kara aura alaga hI janmI hU~ / bacapana meM mA~ kI goda meM, nirjana dvIpa meM nirvAsita jisa ekAkinI rAja- kanyA kI kahAnI suna kara maiM ro par3atI thI, hoza meM Ane para pAyA ki vahI to maiM hU~ / use khoja kara, usako apanI chAtI se lagA Azvasta karane kI jo vyAkula pIr3A mere vAlya hRdaya meM TImatI thI, so kucha bar3e ho kara usa taka pahu~ca kara hI caina milaa| yAnI vahI maiM svayam ho rahI / usa ni:saMga mana-prANa ko le kara phira bAhara ke loka meM koI sakhImahelI pAnA mere vaza kA na rahA / hamAre gaNa-rAja- kuloM kI kaI samavayaskA kanyAe~ mujhe Akara ghera letIM thiiN| apane mahaloM, udyAnoM aura vanakIr3AoM meM ve mujhe barabasa khIMca le jAtI thIM / para unake bIca maiM apane ko bahuta hI ajanavI pAtI thI / merA to bola hI nahIM khulatA thA / unake kheloM aura krIr3A-kalloloM meM merA jI raMca bhI nahIM jur3a pAtA thA / ve khIMca-khIMca kara mujhe apane bIca letI thIM, para maiM gilaharI kI taraha chaTaka kara DAla-DAla, pAta-pAta, phudakatI phiratI thI / aisA lagatA thA, koI banalI hiranI kisI sundara upavana meM qaida kara dI gayI ho| unake bIca mahaddhika veza-bhUSA aura alaMkAroM kI hor3a lagI rahatI thI / unake apane - apane anokhe pramAdhana, kezarAga aura itra - phulaila hote the / eka se eka bar3ha kara dvIpa- samudroM ke ratnoM aura muktAphaloM kI unakI apanI-apanI romAMcaka kathAe~ thIM / sukha-vaibhava kI pratisparddhAoM ke isa jaTila jAla meM merA dama ghuTatA thA / so taMga Akara maiM apane hI ekAntoM meM chupI phiratI thI / mere vAtAyana para se, dUra diganta meM koI ekAkI vRkSa dikhAyI par3atA thA / usakI phunaMgI para ThaharI sandhyA kI antima kiraNa ko vilIyamAna hote ekaTaka dekhatI rahatI / usake lupta hote hI, maiM bahuta udAsa ho jAtI thI /

Page #192
182 usa phunagI para ur3a rahe, pakSI ke paMkha pakar3a kara, maiM usa pAra jAne kahA~ utara gayI usa pIlI kiraNa-bAlA kI khoja meM jAne ko akulA uThatI thii| vasanta Rtu kI nistabdha dupahariyoM meM, aura saMdhyAoM meM, ajJAta AmraDAlI meM kuhakatI koyala kI Tera mere prANa ko jAne kina vanAntoM meM ur3A le jAtI thii| lagatA thA, jAne kauna antahIna pukAra ke sAtha mujhe hI TeratA calA A rahA hai| * * maMjariyA~ aMbiyAM ho jAtI thIM, aMbiyA~ Ama ho kara khA lI jAtI thiiN| aura koyala kI Tera na jAne kisa taTa meM DUba jAtI thii| merA jI cAhatA ki maeNjariyA~ kabhI na aMbiyAe~, ve Ama ho kara kabhI na khAyI jaaeN| basa apane hI rakta kI-sI unakI khaTa-mIThI gandha sadA vAtAsa meM bahatI rahe aura koyala sadA bolatI rhe| koI mujhe sadA TeratA hI rahe / * para Ama khAne vAle, merA zAzvata vasanta mujha se chIna kara mujhe bahuta hatAhata kara dete the| una para mere roSa kA anta nahIM thaa| svayam hI apanI maMjarI bana kara, svayam hI usakI gandha ho kara, apane prANa kI koyala kA unman gAna usameM sunatI rhtii| khAne-pIne vAle jagata ke logoM se merA mana dUra hI dUra bhAgA phiratA / mAnoM unase merA koI nAtA hI na ho| grISma meM pake aura piyarAte AmoM kI gandha se Akula, zyAmala amarAiyA~ mujhe pukAratI thiiN| maiM unake tale khelane calI jAtI thii| jAne kauna eka zyAmala-nIla mohana tanoM kI oTa mujhase A~kha-micaunI khelatA thaa| usake pItAmbara kI kora mAtra A~kha meM jhalaka jAtI thii| aura eka muskAna apane cAroM ora bhA~vareM detI-sI lagatI thii| * dUra kahIM jaMgala meM amalatAsa kI jhImatI phUla-DAloM meM merI palakeM tandrAlasa ho kara svapnalIna ho rhtiiN| pAsa hI kRSNa-car3A kI kesariyA phUloM se ladI vanAlI meM kisane merA cIra-haraNa kara liyA hai ? sArA jaMgala eka Taka merI ora dekha rahA hai / . . * * * lAja se mara rahatI thii| apane hI bhItara kI sarasI meM DubakI lagA kara chupa rahane ke sivAya aura cArA hI kyA thA ? para jaloM kI usa gopana gaharAI meM bhI, eka lacIle zarIra kA jo gahana mArdava cAroM ora se mujhe Avarita kara letA thA, usase bacata kahA~ thii| .. pAMzula dupahariyoM meM, ur3ate pattoM ke dhUsara prAntaroM meM bhaTaka jAtI thii| dUra-dUra taka chitarI kiMzuka-jhAr3iyoM meM jharate palAza-phUla mere sImanta meM sindUra bhara dete the| . . * * koyala kI DAka dUra-dUra taka sunAI par3atI hai| hAya, kisa taTa se vaha AyI thI, aura kahA~ lauTa rahI hai, usakA patA kisase pUrvI ? bichur3ana kI isa pIra kA sAthI, isa jagata meM kahA~ milegA?

Page #193
183 ASAr3ha ke pahale hI dina vanAnta meM nIla medura megha umar3a Aye haiM / bAdaloM kI nIrava prazAnta meM chAyA meM mayUra paMkha khola kara nAca uThe haiM / unake kekArava se sArI araNyAnI pAgala ho uThI hai / nadI pAra ke aMjana - chAyA chAye nIla prAntara meM kisakI DAka sunAyI par3atI hai ? lauTa kara jAne ko koI mahala-vAtAyana aba pIche nahIM chUTA hai / bAdaloM ke ina gandhamAdana hasti - kAnana meM jisakI mAtaMga - mohinI vINA baja rahI hai, usakA patA pAye binA prANa ko virAma nahIM hai / ... sindhuvAra aura saptaparNa kI vanAliyoM meM kRSNasAra aura kastUrI mRga mantra - mohita se khar3e dikhAyI par3a rahe haiN| inakI nAbhi kI kastUrI ne merI sA~soM ko chA liyA hai / - betahAzA ratha daur3AtI huI vAgmatI ke tIra para A pahu~cI hU~ / kahA~ se AyI hai yaha ujjvala vasanA nadI, aura kahA~ jA rahI hai ? kyA isakA koI ghara kahIM nahIM hai ? isakI nIlamI jalimAoM meM rilamilAtI machaliyA~ merI A~kheM ho kara raha gayIM haiM / phira bhI inake jaloM ke udgama merI dRSTi kI pakar3a meM nahIM A rahe haiM ! kyoM hai yaha jagat ? kahA~ hai isakA udgama, kahA~ hai isakA anta ? kauna jAna sakA hai Aja taka ? aneka jJAniyoM ne, aneka taraha se isa jagata ko kahA hai| unake kathanoM meM antara hai / yadi ve saba satya - jJAnI the, to sabhI ke kathanoM meM ekatA kyoM nahIM hai ? jAna par3atA hai, vizva-tatva ko kahA nahIM jA sakatA, kevala anubhava meM sAkSAt kiyA jA sakatA hai / lagatA hai ki ananta aura anekAnta hai yaha saba, jo dikhAI par3atA hai / aura ananta saba eka sAtha dikhAI kaise par3a sakatA hai ? to phira kahA bhI kaise jA sakatA hai ? kAla meM isake pariNamana kA anta nahIM / kAla se pare khar3e hue binA, kAla meM cala rahI isa jagata kI tamAma taraMga - lIlA ko eka sAtha upalabdha nahIM kiyA jA sakatA / A~kha eka bAta kahatI hai, sparza meM koI aura hI bodha hotA hai, gandha aura dhvani meM kucha dUsarA hI pratibhAsita hotA hai| kyA kucha aisA nahIM jisameM saba indriyA~ aura inakA rAjA mana eka ho jAyeM, aura eka hI anubhUti pA kara, eka hI bAta kaheM ? kyA kucha aisA nahIM, jisameM ghaTana aura vighaTana eka bindu para mila jAyeM? kyA kucha aisA nahIM, jo utpatti aura vinAza ke isa khela meM zarIka ho kara bhI, sadA eka vahI aura akSuNNa banA rahe, aura usase aprabhAvita raha kara usakA sampUrNa bodha pAtA rahe ? jo isa khela ko khula kara khele, phira bhI isakI uThAna, miTAna aura hAra-jIta kA AkheTa na ho, usa saba meM eka-sA banA rahe ? kucha bhI to yahA~ Thahara nahIM pAtA hai / jo isa kSaNa hai, agale hI kSaNa nahIM bhI ho sakatA hai / phira apane hone para kaise vizvAsa karU~ ?

Page #194
184 aura apane hone para hI jaba bharosA nahIM kiyA jA sakatA, to kisa sahAre para jiyA jAye, aura kauna jiye? zIta Rtu kI hima-pAle kI rAtoM meM aMgIThI ke pAsa mA~ kI goda meM dubaka kara kahAniyA~ sunane vAlI vaha bAlikA kahA~ gayI ? aba mA~ kI goda meM dubaka kara Azvasta aura nizcinta nahIM huA jA sktaa| vaha sahArA aura vizvAsa jAne kaba kA TUTa gyaa| aba vahA~ dubaka kara nizcinta honA bhI cAhU~, to ho nahIM sktii| 'saba kucha ko khulI A~khoM dekhane aura samajhane laga gayI huuN| apane hI isa zarIra meM hone vAle sAre parivartanoM se paricita ho gayI huuN| dekha rahI hU~, ki parivartana kI isa lIlA meM sabhI vivaza haiM, nirAdhAra, anAtha aura kAtara haiN| apanI A~khoM ke sAmane, apane hI pariveza meM, logoM ko kSaya hote, bar3hA hote, mara jAte dekhA hai| hara cIz2a meM kSaNa-kSaNa kSaya kA ghuna lagA dekha rahI hU~ / kSaya, vinAza, roga, bur3hApe aura mRtyu ke bhItara hI yaha sArA khela cala rahA hai| yahA~ kA sArA saundarya, prema aura Ananda kSaya aura mRtya ke adhIna hai| mRtya hai, to phira jIne kA kyA artha raha jAtA hai ? * .. __utpatti aura vinAza ke do choroM ke bIca baha rahI isa jaga-jIvana kI dhArA meM kyA kucha bhI aisA nahIM, jo sat ho, jo nita ho, jo satya ho, jo nitya ho, jisa para bharosA kiyA jA sake, aura jisameM surakSita aura nizcinta jiyA jA sake ? kyA hai isa sabakA AdhArabhUta satya, kyA hai isakA satva aura prayojana ? yadi jagata aura jIvana kA koI prayojana aura artha nahIM, to isameM kaise jIU~ ? kisa liye jIU~ ? * * 'sabhI kucha to yahA~ arthahIna, prayojana hIna, anAtha, arakSita dikhAyI par3atA hai| hama ekadUsare ke bhItara sahArA khojate haiM, lekina majA yaha hai ki hama sabhI besahArA haiN| eka-dUsare ko hama jJAna sikhAte haiM, lekina svayam hI ajJAnI haiN| jo svayama hI anAzvasta hai, usameM AzvAsana kaise khojUM ? jIvana ko, jagata ko, cIz2oM ko pUrI taraha jAne binA, inheM kaise jIU~, kaise bhogaM ? kisa AdhAra para inheM apanAU~ ? isa besahAragI meM jIvana-dhAraNa asahya ho gayA hai| isa anAthatva aura zaraNahInatA meM sA~sa taka lenA dUbhara lagatA hai| pUchatI hU~, jagata aura jIvana kI yaha sArI lIlA yadi kevala mithyA-mAyA hI hai, to phira yaha hai hI kyoM? jo hai, vaha nirarthaka aura niSprayojana kaise ho sakatA hai ? vaha asatya aura nirAdhAra kaise ho sakatA hai? parijanoM, gurujanoM aura zramaNoM se AtmA, kaivalya, mokSa aura nirvANa kI bAta sunI hai| ve yahI to kahate sunAyI par3ate haiM : 'isa vinAzIka, bhaMgura aura mAyAvI jagata ke mohapAza kATa kara, mukta ho jAo, nitya, buddha, siddha ho jaao| vaha ho bhI jAU~, taba bhI yaha prazna to anuttarita hI raha

Page #195
. 185 jAtA hai, ki 'abhI aura yahA~' jo yaha jIvana aura jagata kI UpmA bharI, AnandabharI, mohaka lIlA hai, vaha kyA nirarthaka hI hai ? apane Apa meM isakI koI sArthakatA aura paripUrti nahIM ? to phira kyoM yaha anAdi-ananta kAla meM cala rahI hai ? jo hai, aura maraNa, kSaya aura vinAza meM bhI barAbara jArI hai, vaha mithyA, nirarthaka aura prayojanahIna kaise ho sakatA hai ? kevala siddhAtmA satya-nitya haiM, aura jagata-jIvana antataH mithyA hI hai. yaha apane Apa meM hI eka antavirodhI bAta hai| ajIba hai vaha sarvajJa, jimakA pUrNa jJAna kevala mithyA-mAyA ke khela ko dekhane meM hI anantakAla lagA huA hai ? . . 'vaya ke bar3hate hue varSoM ke sAtha ye prazna aise tIvra hote gaye, ki sattA meM rahanA hI kaThina ho gayA / ghara meM to ThIka, dharatI aura AkAza taka meM paira Tika nahIM pAte the| nirAdhAra, niruttara ke zUnya meM kaise khar3I rahU~, kaise ThaharU~, kaise use jIU~ aura bhogU ? so jaMgaloM aura pahAr3oM kI vIrAniyoM meM bhaTakane lgii| abhedya aura vajita meM dhaMsatI calI gaI haiN| durgamoM meM car3hI aura utarI huuN| bhayAvaha araNyoM kI kaiMTIlI. patharIlI durbhedyatA kA bhedana kiyA hai| parvatoM kI coTiyoM se mAnoM sIdhI chalAMga bhara kara, nadiyoM ke durdAnta pravAhoM para A par3I huuN| jahA~ manuSya kabhI na gayA hogA, aisI Adima gufAoM ke maraNAndhakAroM meM bhaTakatI calI gaI haiN| himra pazuoM aura sarisRpoM kI karAla DAr3hoM ke bhItara bhI yAtrA kI hai| * * 'jAnanA hogA, saba kucha ko aNu-aNu meM jAnanA hogA ! jAne binA. jiyA nahIM jA sakatA, ThaharA nahIM jA sakatA, bhogA nahIM jA sktaa| kintu jIte jI mRtyu ke bhItara se guz2ara kara bhI to kala nahIM par3I, caina nahIM aayaa| . . . merI usa antima vikalatA ke chora para, jAne kyoM, varddhamAna, kevala tumhIM khar3e dikhAyI par3ate the| usI carama anAthatva aura zaraNahInatA kI pratikArahIna vedanA ko le kara, usa dina Akhira tumhAre pAsa daur3a AyI thI / nandyAvarta meM pahu~ca kara tumhAre kakSa ke uma ekAnta sAmrAjya ko bhaMga karane ko vivaza ho gayI thii| antahIna praznoM kI jalatI zUliyA~ merI ku~vArI chAtI meM kamaka rahI thiiN| * * para yaha kyA huA ki tumhAre sAmane Ate hI. tIkhe praznoM kA vaha asidhAra jaMgala, suramya bAdaloM ke khela-sA bikhara gyaa| dRSTi me pare kapUra kI DalI jAne kahA~ ur3a gayI; sAMsoM meM kevala usakI zItala, zAmaka mugandha bhara raha gii| baramoM bAda usa dina jaise merI mA~se eka anAdikAlIna phA~sI ke phande se mukta ho gii| kyA uttara milA. patA nhiiN| para dekhA, ki sAmane baiThA, yaha jo lIlA-caMcala lar3akA apane hamI-vinoda se merI

Page #196
186 sArI pRcchAoM ko phUMka mAra kara ur3Aye de rahA hai, yahI apane Apa meM kAphI hai mere liye| yahI vaha AdhAra hai, AzvAsana hai, antima uttara hai, jo uttara nahIM detA, vyAkhyA nahIM karatA, basa, mujhe anAyAsa jIvana aura jagata meM nizcinta bhAva se basAye de rahA hai, rammANa kiye de rahA hai| - 'yaha hai to phira, yahA~ kA kucha bhI kSaNa-bhaMgura aura nAzavAna nahIM hai| yaha hai to kSaya, roga, zoka, vichoha, jarA-maraNa kucha bhI nahIM hai| vaha saba kevala mAyA hai, bhrAnti hai| yaha hai to jagata ke sAre hI saundarya, pyAra, Ananda nitya-satya, aura avinAzI haiN| isake hote nizcinta aura surakSita bhAva se sattA meM ThaharA jA sakatA hai, jIvana-pravAha meM machaliyoM kI taraha khula kara terA jA sakatA hai, khelA jA sakatA hai| mukta paMchiyoM kI taraha sthira paMkhoM se jIvana ke isa ananta virAT lIlAkAza meM ur3A aura viharA jA sakatA hai| * * yaha hai to prazna aura pUchanA samApta ho jAtA hai| eka antahIna AzvAsana aura amaratA meM ghanasAra kI taraha ghulatI hI calI gayI thii|'' 'mAnoM janmAntaroM ke bAda usI rAta bekhaTaka, aura pUrNa nizcinta hA kara so sakI thii| . . . lekina mAno merA vaha sukha, tuma se sahA na gyaa| tumase adhika merA IrSyAlu aura kauna ho sakatA thA : aura mujha se adhika tumase IrSyA aura kise ho sakatI thI? * * 'yahIM aTaka kara, bekhaTaka ho jAU~, yaha tuma kaise saha sakate the? mAnoM ki mere usa sahAre ko tor3ane ke liye hI tuma vaizAlI aaye| hajAra bahAnoM se tumane yaha ghoSita kara diyA, ki tuma isa suramya saMsAra ko tyAga kara cale jaaoge| eka hI jhaTake meM tumane apanA hI diyA caina mujhase chIna liyaa| eka hI bhrU-bhaMga meM mAnoM, mahAvIra ne merA vaha varSamAna mujhase jhapaTa kara chIna liyA, jise eka dina itane pyAra se usane mujha khela-khela meM hI de diyA thaa| mAnoM ki kaha gaye tuma : 'varDamAna-nirapekSa hokara jInA hogA tumheM, candana !' ulkA ke akSaroM meM bIja-maMtra kI taraha tumane yaha bAta mere citta-paTala para ukera dii| vipala mAtra meM hI tumane apane hI diye dharatI aura AkAza mujhase chIna liye| eka hI Thokara meM tumane mere saMsAra-pAza ko chinna-bhinna kara diyaa| 'saMsAra sAram' ho kara jo eka dina mere jIvana meM AyA thA, vahI usa dina saMthAgAra se merA 'saMsArahArI' ho kara prakaTa huaa| soca meM par3a gaI, isa mitrahIna jagata meM jise eka mAtra mitra ke rUpa meM pAyA thA, vahI saba se bar3A zatru ho kara sAmane A gayA hai| tumheM pyAra kara sakU~, yahI tumane mere lie sambhava na rahane diyA : aura taba kevala tumheM

Page #197
18 187 hI pyAra karane kI merI vivazatA ko tumane antahIna kara diyaa| antima avalamba jo bana gayA thA merA, usane svayam hI, apanI usa avalambitA ko cUra-cUra kara diyaa| phira jo nahIM raha gayI thI, usa lar3akI kI avazeSa niyati kA khela Arambha huaa| tumhI batAo mAna, vaha kaise phira vaizAlI ke aizvarya-mahaloM kI phUla-zaiyAoM meM lauTa sakatI thI ? apanI antima niyati se TakarAye binA, usake liye aura cArA hI kyA raha gayA thA * * *? niyati-puruSa isI ko to kahate haiM ! - - - pahalI bAra tumase mila kara jaba lauTI thI, to bAhara kucha bhI pAne aura khojane ko zeSa nahIM raha gayA thaa| sAre hI praznoM aura jijJAsAoM kA ekameva uttara antara ke devAlaya meM mUrta pA liyA thaa| virAT prakRti ke bIhar3oM meM jise khojatI phira rahI thI, sahasA hI pAyA ki vaha jAne kaba cupacApa bhItara A baiThA hai| merI bhaTakanoM kI usa nikhila carAcara prakRti ko vaha apane uttarIya kI taraha dhAraNa kiye thaa| bAhara kI yAtrAoM ke agama vistAra, uttuMga U~cAiyA~ aura bhayAvane gaharAva bhItara hI khula par3e the| so apane kakSa meM banda hokara apanI sukha-zaiyA meM A~kheM mUMde kaI-kaI pahara leTI rahatI thI, aura akAraNa hI sAre agamyoM meM yAtrA eka sugama khela kI taraha calatI rahatI thii| lekina jaba tuma mahAbhiniSkramaNa kara AraNyaka ho gaye, to apane ananta abhiyAna ke pahale hI pada-saMcAra se, tuma mere bAhara-bhItara ke bIca kI oTa ko chinna-bhinna kara gaye / zaiyA meM hI nahIM, isa tana meM bhI kA~Te uga aaye| . . . aMga-aMga meM nukIlI caTTAneM aura tumhAre ArohaNa ke parvata-zikhara phUTa nikale / bAhumUla aura urumUla ke gaharAva tumhArI durdAnta chalAMgoM ke bIca kI khandakeM, ghATiyA~, samudra aura nadiyA~ ho kara phaila gye| tana kA aNu-aNu tumhArI rAha kI dhUla ho kara raha gyaa| ... taba bolo, vaizAlI ke parakoToM aura mahAlayoM kI dIvAra-chatoM meM Thahara pAnA kase sambhava hotaa| : - pahale kI taraha jaba nikala par3ane ko huI, to pAyA ki mere svairAcAra para pahare baiTha cuke haiN| pAyA ki svAtaMtrya kI siramaura nagarI vaizAlI meM najara-kaida huuN| mahala, udyAna, rathAgAra, azvAgAra, nagara-dvAra, sarvatra hI mujhe gamanodyata dekha kara pratihArI, rathI, azvapAla aura praharI, merI rAha meM jhuke mastaka bichA kara rAjAjJA ke pAlana ko vivaza aura mUka dikhAyI pdd'e| samajha gayI, ki yaha saba kyoM huA hai| tumhAre dIkSA-kalyANaka se lauTa kara, mA~ aura parijanoM ne merI jo bekalI aura behAlI dekhI thI, usase ve samajha gaye the, ki aba isa aizvaryarAjya meM maiM Thahara nahIM skuuNgii| mAnoM ki unhoMne cInha liyA thA ki merI

Page #198
188 A~kheM una digantoM para vichI thIM, jinakA tuma nirantara atikramaNa kara rahe the| * * 'unheM spaSTa dIkhA ki, mUrtivat ThagI-sI, ghAyala paMkhinI-sI maiM una dUra-dUra jA rahe caraNoM meM loTatI calI jA rahI haiN| * * 'taba una sabako pratIti ho gaI, ki aba merA svaira-vihAra khataranAqa hI ho makatA hai| so cira dina kI mukta AkAzinI ko piMjar3e meM pUra diyA gyaa| * * 'nahIM, tumhArI niSThara pITha kA pIchA nahIM kiyA cAhatI thii| jAne se pahale tuma eka bAra mujhe sandezA to bheja hI sakate the| maiMne tumheM pukArA yA nahIM. so to tuma jAno, para tuma mujhe pukAro, yaha tumhAre pauruSa ko kaise gavArA ho sakatA thA ? nahIM, tumhArI khoja meM bhaTakU, yaha mujhe aba sahya nahIM thaa| jisa khoja kI madhura kasaka merA eka mAtra jIvana thA, use to sAmane par3ate hI, tumane samayAtIta bhAva se samApta kara diyA thaa| * * ava to kevala itanA hI zepa raha gayA thA, ki apane ko khojUM / * * maiM hU~ ki nahIM hU~ ? merI koI sattA bhI hai yA nahIM ? yadi hU~, to kauna hU~ maiM ? isakA uttara pAye binA china bhara bhI sRSTi meM kahIM ThaharAva sambhava na raha gayA thaa| tumhArI virAgI mudrA dekha AyI thI, para apane prati jo anurAga tumhArA itanA jvalanta dekhA thA, usake bAvajUda tuma mere prati itane nirmama bhI ho sakoge, yaha to kalpanA meM bhI nahIM A sakatA thaa| mUlAdhAra ko bIMdha kara jaba prazna merI zirAoM aura asthiyoM ke polAnoM meM gaMjatA thA ki 'kauna hU~ maiM ?' to kevala usa dina kI tumhArI lIlA-caMcala chabi mere dRSTi-patha' aura sAre AkAza-patha para chA jAtI thii| tumhAre prati roSa aura kSobha se merI nasa-nasa meM gA~TheM par3a jAtI thIM / apanI Thokara ke yogya bhI jise nahIM samajhA, usakI rAha roka kara, hara paramANu para kyoM A khar3e hue ho? merI chAtI para, mere nikalane ke eka mAtra dvAra bana kara kyoM jar3a gaye ho ? .. para kRpA huI tumhArI, abhAginI candanA para, ki usa para kiMvAr3a bana kara banda nahIM hue, dvAra hI bane ki jahA~ cAhU~, jA sakatI huuN| aura kisa moha-mamatA yA rAjasattA kA paharA, usa dvAra kI rAha ko rUMdha sakatA thA, jo ki mahAvIra svayam thaa| kRtajJa hU~ tumhArI, ki bhale hI parityAga kara gaye, para bhItara-bAhara ke sAre kArAgAroM se nikala par3ane kA nirbAdha dvAra mere liye mukta kara hI gye| . . . - - 'mo usa AdhI rAta, jaba vikalatA se tana kA tAra-tAra TUTa gayA, aura besudha bebasa pAgala-sI cala par3I thI, AtmahArA, sarvahArA, dizAhArA, taba koI dIvAra, chata, parakoTa. praharI kahIM dikhAyI nahIM pdd'aa| vikSipta nAgina-sI dharatI kI tahoM ko tarAzatI huI nikalatI hI calI gyii|

Page #199
. 189 * * sUryodaya kI belA meM, nUtana vasanta kI hariyAlI AbhA se maMDita, jisa kAnana-bhUmi meM apane ko vicarate pAyA, usake bhUgola kA koI anumAna pAnA zakya nahIM lgaa| * * 'nAnA raMgI phUloM kI chAyA se citrita isa sAre AkAza-vAtAma meM eka vicitra dUra-dezIya gandha vyApta hai| vahA~ dUra para jo hariyAle TIle dikhAyI par3a rahe haiM, unakI tRNAlI meM kahIM gAyeM cara rahI haiM, to kahIM bher3a-bakariyA~ / lAla-pIlI or3hanI or3he koI ekAkinI lar3akI caupAyoM ko hA~ka de rahI hai| kauna videzinI hai yaha kanyA ? kyA kahIM isakA koI ghara hogA ? laga rahA hai, TIle meM se hI janma lekara vaha vahA~ khar3I ho gayI hai| usa tRNAlI ke antarAla meM jo AkAza jhA~ka rahA hai, vahI usakA ghara hai| hAya, vaha kitanI akelI hai ! kyA vaha bhI merI taraha apane hI ko khoja rahI hai ? * * 'TIle ke para pAra se bA~surI kA gAna sunAyI par3a rahA hai| lar3akI cauMka uThI hai| * * 'are isa nirjana meM use kisane pahacAna liyA hai? - nahIM. isa pahacAna ke deza meM nahIM ThaharanA caahuuNgii| * * *aura maiM tez2I se bhAgatI huI, apane hI se bhAgatI huI, jAne kitane vana-pradezoM ke suramya chAyA-prAntara pAra kara gii| * * 'dina car3ha AyA hai| sAmane dikhAyI par3I hai, eka vn-pusskrinnii| prAkRtika zveta pattharoM ke ghAToM se vaha ghirI hai| pIle kamaloM kI sonala kesara usa para nIhAra-sI TaeNgI hai / sarasI ke jala meM paira DAla kara, usake ghATa para baiTha gayI hU~ / ekAeka apane hI mukhar3e kI parachA~hI dekha kara kA~pa uThI huuN| * * yaha kauna mAyAvinI hai ? nahIM, nahIM paDUMgI isake sammohana-jAla meN| yaha puSkariNI kI saundarya-devatA mujhe Atma-vimohita kiye de rahI hai| para hAya, isase baca kara nikalanA kaThina ho gayA hai ! kise pukArU~ isa nirjana meM, kauna merA trANa karegA isa mohinI se? * * *aura A~kha mIMca kara maiM apane bAvajUda cIkha uThI . . ! * * 'A~kha jaba khulI to dekhA, ki eka ati ramaNIya vimAna kI chata para ekAkI khar3I ur3I jA rahI huuN| nIce par3I dharatI kA sArA bhUpaTa aisA lagA, jaise eka vizAla citra kucha sUkSma rekhAoM meM simaTatA jA rahA hai| aucaka hI kisI padacApa se cauMka kara pIche dekhA / * * 'eka ratna-kirITa dhArI sundara yuvA sAmane khar3A hai| * * sahasA hI usane sambodhana kiyA : 'sundarI, vaitADhyagiri kA vidyAdhara vasanta-mitra, tumhArI eka citavana kA prArthI hai !' merI sArI nAr3iyA~ jhanajhanA utthiiN| sUkhe patte-sA tharatharAtA merA zarIra, mAnoM abhI-abhI jhara pdd'egaa| usa sundara yuvA kI rAtula kamala-sI sundara

Page #200
A~khoM meM jo Arta tRSA dekhI, vaha mere liye sarvathA nayI thI / mundara rUpa kI ArasI meM, aisA asundara aura kurUpa bhAva maiMne kabhI nahIM dekhA thA / padmarAga maNi ke pyAle meM jaise koI pighalI huI viSAkta jvAlA lapalapA rahI thI / 190 'haThAt do sazakta puruSa- bhujAe~ phuMphakArate pIle nAgoM -sI mujhe ghera lene ko bddh'iiN| aura maiM bijalI kI taraha kar3aka kara, ur3ate vimAna tale guz2ara rahI, eka qhandaka meM kUda par3ane ko huI / tabhI eka komala nArI- kaNTha kI Aha, acAnaka sunAyI pdd'ii| vidyAdharI madanavegA ne A kara apanI bA~hoM meM merI kUdane ko udyata kAyA ko jakar3a liyA thA / kruddha bhRkuTiyoM se usane apane vidyAdhararAja kI bhartsanA kI, para bolI kucha nahIM / vidyAdhara dharatI meM gar3a rahA / vidyAdharI merI kAyA kI agnilekhA ko dekha kara bhayabhIta, staMbhita ho rahI / usake saMketa para vidyAdhara ne vimAna dharatI para utaaraa| maiM tatkAla chalAMga mAra kara eka caTTAna para kUda par3I / 'palaka mArate meM vidyAdhara kA vimAna adRzya ho gayA / eka bhayAvaha nirjana araNya meM, akelI isa caTTAna para khar3I hU~ / sallakI aura bA~soM kI ghanI araNyAnI meM, vanaspatiyoM kI Adima sugandha se bharI ISat garma havA sITiyA~ bajA rahI hai / manuSya kA yahA~ koI cihna nahIM dikhAyI par3atA / vanauSadhiyoM kI jhAr3iyoM meM, sugandha se mUrcchita bhayaMkara nAgoM ke yugala ratikrIr3A meM lIna haiM / 'o AraNyaka, samajha rahI hU~, isI sarpa-saMkula kuTila aTavI meM se tumhArA mArga gayA hai / bhaya kI isI bhujaMgama ghATI meM, Aja gyAraha barasa ho gaye, tuma durdAnta vega se bhramaNa kara rahe ho / para mAnavIya rUpa meM yahA~ koI tumhArA AkAra-prakAra zeSa nahIM hai / nirI nagna mRtyu ke isa bhayAraNya meM, bhAluoM, rIchoM, sarisRpoM ke bIca tumane mujhe lA paTakA hai / aura svayam Apa jAne kahA~ campata ho ? nahIM, mujhe tumhArI rakSA aura zaraNa kI jarUrata nhiiN| maiM tumhArI khoja meM nahIM, apanI khoja meM AyI huuN| aura isa saMkaTa kI ghATI meM, mujhe tumhArA nahIM, apanI mauta kA intaz2Ara hai / mere rakta ke pratyeka spandana meM isa kSaNa kevala vinAza kI vINA baja rahI hai / ' 'nahIM, aba dhIraja nahIM hai / deha kA roMyA-roMyA naraka ke semara-vRkSoM ke tIra - phala jaise pattoM kI taraha dhAradAra ho kara, apanI hI mAMsa-peziyoM ko tarAza rahA hai| pIr3A kI sarpa- kuNDalI meM guMjalkita hotI huI, apane eka-eka sA~dhe ko jaise aiMTha kara tor3e de rahI hU~ / mUrchA ke ye nIle-hare hilore, jAne kisa kAle pAnI kI ora mujhe Dhakela rahe haiN| lagA ki abhI thor3I hI dera meM isa asthi-paMjara se mukta ho jAU~gI / .....

Page #201
191 * * 'acAnaka eka tIra sannAtA huA merI A~kha ke kone ke pAsa se guz2ara gyaa| palaka mArate meM merA hoza jAtA rhaa| * * 'hoza meM Ane para dekhA, vaha kAlA bhayaMkara araNya, svayam deha dhAraNa kara mAnoM sAmane khar3A . . . bhIlarAja, kyA cAhate ho?' 'apanI vanadevI kI ArAdhanA karate umara bIta gyii| * * 'Aja sAdha pUrI huii| merI nAgakanyA mere liye prakaTa ho gaI !' bhIla kI A~khoM meM isa sAre hiMsra jaMgala kI bhUkha dahAr3atI dikhAyI pdd'ii| sArI carAcara sRSTi kI cira atRpta vaasnaa| kAza, ise tRpta kara sakatI! para apanI isa eka svalpa, lacIlI, nAjuka kAyA ko le kara, kyA isa virAT bubhukSA ko zAnta kara sakU~gI * * *? nahIM, isa kAyA kI sImA meM vaha sambhava nhiiN| kyA mere isa zarIra ke bhItara, koI aisA dUsarA zarIra nahIM, jisakA pAra na ho, anta na ho? apane ko jAnatI hI kitanA hU~ ? zAyada kisI dina / . kirAtarAja caNDakAla ne kaI dina aneka taraha se merI sevA-paricaryA kii| mujhe bhlaayaa-bhulaayaa| vana-phUloM ke bichaune bichAye, vanauSadhiyoM kI divya madirAyeM sAmane dhrii| * * 'rakSA aura cira sukha kA AzvAsana diyaa| para kyA karU~, maiM usakA manacItA na kara skii| rAta-dina usI tapta cubhIlI caTTAna para par3I usa bhIla kI kAtara Arta vikalatA ko dekhatI rahatI thii| vanacArI jaMgalI ho kara bhI, vaha balAtkArI nahIM thaa| para sarpa jisa vAsanA se daMza karatA hai, bicchU jisa pIr3A se umar3a kara kATa lene ko vivaza hotA hai, bhAlU ke paMje jisa hiMsA se vivaza ho kara phAr3a khAne ko lAcAra ho jAte haiM, vahI bebasa aura raktAkta hiMsratA usa bhIla kI A~khoM meM sulagatI rahatI thii| kAza, prANi mAtra ke rakta meM cirakAla se jala rahI isa pipAsA kI dAvAgni ko sadA-sadA ke liye zAnta kara sktii| . . . mere kuMvAre stanoM meM yaha kaisA dUdha kA pArAvAra-sA umar3atA hai| hAya, yaha ajJAnI bhIla kyA merI isa pIra ko samajha sakegA? . . . .. . kaI dinoM bAda bhIla hAra kara mujhase bolA : 'calo sundarI, tumheM tumhAre deza pahu~cA AU~ !' . * "socA : kyA sacamuca yaha jaMgalI barbara puruSa mere usa deza kA patA jAnatA hai, jahA~ jAne ko jagata kI sArI mAyAmamatA tyAga kara nikala par3I hU~ ? ...

Page #202
dAsiyoM ko dAsI caMdanA eka vizAla sundara nagarI ke caurAhe para pahu~ca kara, bhIla ne mujhe baila se utarane ko kahA / utara kara pAyA ki apane jaisI hI kaI anAtha, sarvahArA, deza-deza kI sundara striyoM ke bIca ghirI khar3I hU~ / bhIla ne usa nArIsamUha ke saradAra se kucha bAtacIta kI phira kucha suvarNa mudrAe~ pA kara merI ora tarasabharI A~khoM se dekhatA, vaha nagara kI bhIr3a meM kho gayA / thor3IhI dera meM patA cala gayA ki yaha jagata vikhyAta vilAsa nagarI kauzAmbI kA dAsI - paNya hai / aura maiM dAsiyoM ke saudAgara ke hAtha beca dI gayI hU~ / jo huA hai, ThIka hI to huA hai / bacapana se hI AryAvarta ke dAsI-paNyoM ke bAre meM sunatI rahI hU~ / manuSya kI nirAdhAra, anAtha, nAmakula - gotrahIna, sundarI beTiyA~ ina paNyoM meM becI jAtI haiM / brAhmaNa, kSatriya, vaizya varNoM ke ucca kulIna, abhijAta vargIya loga apane suvarNa ke mola ina rUpasiyoM ko kharIda kara apane antaHpuroM meM sevA-dAsiyoM ke rUpa meM rakhate haiM / kSatriya rAjanyoM, aura dhanakubera zreSThiyoM kI sarva manokAmanA pUrti ke hetu yajJa-yAgAdi karane para, brAhmaNa purohita vipula dravya aura bhoga-sAmagriyoM ke sAtha hI, kaI-kaI sundarI dAsiyA~ bhI dakSiNA meM pAte haiM / hamArI vaizAlI meM bhI abhijAtoM ke ghara krIta dAsiyA~ to hotI haiM, para vahA~ unakA zoSaNapIr3ana utanA nahIM hotA / koI atyAcAra balAtkAra bhI nahIM / yathA sammAna sevikA ke rUpa meM ve rahatI haiN| para sunatI rahI hU~, anya mahArAjyoM meM manuSya kI ina lAvArisa beTiyoM para amAnuSika julama-z2ora atyAcAra hote haiM / sattA - pramatta rAjanyoM aura zreSThiyoM ke mahAlayoM meM, tathA dakSiNA jIvI mAladAra yAjanika zrotriyoM ke gharoM meM, ve unakI durmatta bhoga- lAlasAoM kI AkheTa ho kara rahatI haiM / ThIka hI to AyI hU~, apanI ina cira kAla kI bichur3I bahanoM ke bIca | inakI jIvana-kathAe~ prAyaH apanI dIdI - mahArAniyoM se suna kara mere prANa hAhAkAra kara uThate the / apane kamare meM jA kara par3a jAtI, aura A~cala mu~ha meM de kara phaphaka-phaphaka kara rotI thI / inake durbhAgyoM aura DipattiyoM kI karuNa gAthAe~ merI samUcI cetanA ko hatAhata kara detI thIM /

Page #203
193 merI dharmAniyA~ pracaNDa pratikArI roSa aura vidroha ke lAvA se ubalane lagatI thIM / Aja apane ko apanI ina bahanoM ke sAtha dAsI- paNya meM bikane ko khar3I pA kara, merI chAtI meM aiMThatI cira dina kI eka marma-pIr3A ko jaise gaharI zAnti milii| unake sundara nirdoSa mukhar3oM, unakI bholIbhAlI nirIha A~khoM, unake anizcita, arakSita bhAgya - bhaviSya ko khulI A~khoM sAmane dekha kara, apane kulIna rakta ke prati mere dhikkAra kA anta nahIM thA / ThIka hI to huA / * apane hI rAjavaMzI rakta ke zatAbdiyoM-vyApI, pIr3hiyoM-vyApI anAcAra kA badalA, apane hI hRdaya ke khUna se cukAye binA Aja kSaNa bhara bhI caina nahIM hai / unameM se hara lar3akI apane Apa meM eka mUka vedanA kA dvIpa banI khar3I thI / AryAvarta ke samarthoM ke pazutva ne, unako nirI lAcAra AkheTa - pazu banA chor3A thA / Tukura-Tukura eka-dUsarI ko tAkatI, ve apane andhe bhaviSya kI a~dherI khandaka meM Dhakela diye jAne kI pratIkSA meM thiiN| eka naraka se nikala kara, dUsare naraka meM pheMka diyA jAnA hI, unake jIvana kA ekamAtra abhikrama thA / una saba kI ora dekhatI, maiM akulA kara mana hI mana bolI : 'merI pyArI bahano, sadiyoM se jo nirghaNa atyAcAra tuma para abhijAta kulInoM ne kiye haiM, una saba kA badalA tuma mujha se jI bhara cukAo / maiM AryAvarta ke cUr3AmaNi rAjavaMza ikSvAkuoM kI eka beTI huuN| merI nasoM meM RSabhadeva, bharata, raghu aura rAma kA rakta bahatA hai / aura maiM tumhArI ekamAtra abhiyukta ho kara tumhAre sAmane khar3I huuN| jo cAho daNDa mujhe do, saharSa jhelUMgI / bhAratoM ke samasta itihAsa meM vyApta, tumhAre zoSaNapIr3ana kA pratizodha lene ko, sUryavaMza kI isa jAyA kA rakta kama nahIM nahIM par3egA / jo tumane aura tumhArI pIr3hiyoM ne AdikAla se bhogA hai, usa naraka kA saharSa varaNa karane AyI hU~ | tAki use talachaTa taka jAnUM, jIU~, bhogUM, aura usake mUloM ko apanI nasoM meM dhAraNa kara, apanI AtmAhuti se hI unheM nirmala jalA kara bhasma kara dUM / 'varddhamAna, AryAvarta ke caurAhoM para mUka rudana se bilakhatI ina sahasroM anAthaniyoM ko tANahIna dazA meM chaTapaTAtI rahane ko chor3a kara, tuma kisa mukti kI khoja meM, nirjanoM meM bhaTaka rahe ho ? loka meM jIvita mAnavatA ko, manuSya dvArA hI race gaye phA~sI ke phaMdoM se jo muktAtmA nahIM chur3A sakatA, usakI lokottara mukti kA mere mana kaur3I bhara mUlya nahIM / usakA ananta jJAna aura ananta vIrya mujhe Aja puMsatvahInatA kA eka paryAya hI laga rahA hai / kyA koI puruSottama ho kara, AdikAla ke pIr3ita loka se yoM palAyana - sakatA hai kara

Page #204
194 'nahIM mAna, mujhe tumhArI jarUrata nahIM / apane liye, aura apanI ina sahodarAoM ke liye maiM hI kAphI huuN| kahA na apanI khoja meM nikalI hU~, tumhArI nahIM / aura ina khA~ciyoM nirdoSa sundara AtmAoM ke jakhmoM meM, apanA patA kucha-kucha pA gayI hU~ / inakI bhaya, Arati, aura Asanna pIr3anabalAtkAra se kA~patI - tharatharAtI nasoM maiM maiMne apanI jAgRta jIvanI-zakti kA paricaya pAyA hai / inakI AzAhIna a~dhiyArI A~khoM kI ArasI meM maiMne apanA ekameva ceharA spaSTa dekha liyA hai / inake sAtha maiM bhI bikUMgI, aura inakI hI taraha apane andhe bhAgya ko, kisI dhana sattA ke a~gUThe tale daba kara eka bAra bharapUra bhoguuNgii| dekhUMgI, ki usa a~gUThe meM kitanA bala hai, usake balAtkAra kI sAmarthya kitanI dUra taka jA sakatI hai / , 'merI mahArAnI-dIdI mRgAvatI, tumhArI aizvarya nagarI kauzAmbI ke caurAhe para, tumhArI lAr3ilI bahana candanabAlA dAsI- paNya meM bikane ko khar3I hai / 'vatsarAja udayana tumhArI mAtaMga-vimohinI vINA kA saMgIta-saundarya nArI-niryAta ke rakta meM nahAyA huA hai / tumhArI candana mausI, tumhAre ajeya vikrama - pratApa, kalA, aura praNaya-lIlAoM kI chA~va meM nIlAma para car3hI hai ..! 'udayana ke mausere bhAI varddhamAna, suno, maiM tumheM nahIM pukArU~gI ! vRSabhasena zreSThi kI isa havelI meM rahate, kitane dina, mAsa, varSa bIta gaye haiM, usakI ginatI mere pAsa nahIM hai / jisa kSaNa tumheM pahalI bAra dekhA thA, mAna, usI muhUrta meM bAhara ke samaya kA bhAna mAnoM calA gayA thA / bhItara ke samaya meM hI taba se jIvana kI yaha vicitra yAtrA Arambha ho gayI thI / * kaSTa kI kAlI rAta ke sivAya aura koI patha tumane mere liye nahIM chor3A thA, mahAvIra ! taba bAhara ke viSama cakrAvartoM ke samakSa, bhItara ke svasamaya kI zuddha kriyA meM jIne meM ko maiM vivaza ho gayI thI / vaha vivazatA hI mere liye varadAna bana gayI, yaha tumhAre sivAya kauna jAna sakatA hai / bhASA - paribhASA se pare ke usa bhavitavya ko kevala bhogate hI to banA hai / kaSTa kI to avadhi na rahI, para usakI avamAnanA mujhase na ho sakI / tumhArI dI huI duHkha kI hara thAtI ko, chAtI se cA~pa kara, apane bhIne A~cala meM use sahalAtI rahI / itanA sukha thA usameM ki kabhI aNu mAtra bhI koI anuyoga abhiyoga mana meM nahIM AyA / barasoM pahale, usa dina kauzAmbI ke dAsI - cauhaTTe para zreSThi vRSabhasena kA ratha ekAeka aTaka gayA thA / nikaTa Akara eka Taka ve merI ora dekhate raha gaye the / usa bhavya gaura varNa bhadra mukha para eka vicitra anatizaya viSAda thA / aura una A~khoM meM bichala rahA thA karuNA kA samudra / akAraNa vAtsalya se Avila thI

Page #205
195 vaha dRSTi / nIlama ke kaNThahAra se vibhUSita apane usa samartha kretA para mujhe jAne kaisI dayA-sI A gayI thI ! zreSThi mauna hI rahe / koI mola-bhAva unake vaza kA nahIM thA / A~kha ke eka iMgita para, saudAgara kA muMha mA~gA mola unhoMne usakI hathelI para rakha diyA / maiM sahaja hI anugAminI huI, aura ratha meM jA baiThI bhAva se sara jhukA kara hI apane bhAgya ko samarpita huI thI lekina sahasA hI bodha huA thA, ki svAminI ho kara hI ratha para car3hI hU~ / : zreSTha vRSabhasena kI seThAnI, sundarI dAsI ko sAmane pA kara caukannI ho gayI / una kAlI-pIlI A~khoM kI vaha karAla dRSTi Aja bhI bhUlI nahIM hai / bhAga khar3e hone ko jI akulA uThA thA / para krItA dAsI ke jI jaisI koI cIz2a kaise ho sakatI hai ! apanI niyati ko zirodhArya kara, AjJA pAlana ko prastuta ho gayI / zreSThi niHsantAna the / dekhatI thI, mujhe puttrI ke rUpa meM pA kara ve bhara Aye the| ghara kI dAsI hone ke kAraNa, gRhasvAminI mulA seThAnI ke zAsana meM hI mujhe rahanA hotA thA / eka to dAsI hone ke kAraNa hI, svabhAvataH mAlakina ke apamAna, upekSA aura daNDa-tAr3ana kI pAtra hI ho sakatI thI / tisa para dAsI ananya rUpasI thI, so seThAnI ke tiraskAra aura DAha kA anta nahIM thA / seThAnI ke ghAyala garva kI tuSTi ke liye, mujhase acchA AkheTa aura kahA~ mila sakatA thA / so mujhe nikAla bAhara karanA bhI unheM sahya nahIM thA / merA pratipala apamAna, tiraskAra, zoSaNa, pIr3ana karake, jo tRpti ve anubhava karatI thIM, vaha anyathA kaise sambhava thI / phira mu~ha mA~ge mola para qharIda kara lAyI gayI thI, so merI hara boTI se, hara pala dAma to vasUla karanA hI rahA / mujhe nikAlanA hara taraha se seThAnI ke lie bahuta ghATe kA saudA thA / para zreSTi kI sahaja sneha-bhAjana puttrI ke rUpa meM hI kyoM na ho, eka sundarI kanyA ko yoM vinata - nayana, svAmI kI tanika sI sevA karate dekha kara bhI, seThAnI ke tana-badana meM Aga laga jAtI thI / hAya re mAnava mana, vicitra kuTila hai terI gati / kaSAyoM dvArA prati pala apane pIr3ana meM bhI tU kitanA gaharA rasa letA hai ! mAnoM ki kaSAyoM aura paritApoM ke sahAre jInA hI terA eka mAtra sukha ho gayA hai / isa havelI meM A kara, nA kucha samaya meM hI samajha gayI thI, ki vayovRddha zreSTha ke hRttala meM kahIM bahuta gahare eka rikta nirantara TIsa rahA hai / unakI A~khoM meM eka vicitra zUnyamanaskatA aura udAsI sadA banI rahatI thI / mAnoM eka antahIna vIrAna meM unakA jI sadA khoyA-bhaTakA rahatA thA / kaI bAra ekAnta meM unakI zUnya mudrA dekha kara merA mana hAhAkAra kara uThatA thA / bacapana se hI aisI prakRti pAyI thI, ki kisI kA bhI kaSTa mujha se dekhA nahIM jAtA thA /

Page #206
196 jI cAhatA thA ki hara pIr3ita jana kI pIr3A meM bhAga le skeN| usakI vedanA merI ho jAtI thI, aura use dUra na kara sakU~, to mujhe caina nahIM AtA thaa| isa havelI meM Akara thor3e hI dinoM meM samajha gayI thI, ki zreSThi sAre sukh| sadbhAva aura vaibhava ke hote bhI, yoM ucATa kyoM rahate the / santAna ke abhAva se adhika, unake kaSTa kA kAraNa yaha thA ki ve apane ko nitAnta akelA pAte the| malA seThAnI svabhAva se hI zuSka, bhAvahIna aura karkazA thii| nArI-sulabha sneha, sahAnubhUti aura USmA kA unameM sarvathA abhAva thA / kAraNa-akAraNa ve apane svAmI para sadA bigar3atI rahatI thiiN| choTI sIdhI-sI bAta kA bhI ve bahuta karkaza svara meM vakra uttara hI detI thIM / dampati ke bIca AtmIya AdAna-pradAna kA koI setubandha thA hI nhiiN| pArasparika prIti, sahAnubhUti aura samajha jaisI koI cIz2a vahA~ thI hI nhiiN| yugala dAmpatya vahA~ ghaTita hI nahIM ho sakA thaa| ___svabhAva se hI ati mRdu, vatsala aura dhArmika prakRti ke zreSThi cupa raha kara saba kucha sahate rahate the / itane maryAdAvAna aura vivekI the ve, ki apane adhikArakSetra se bAhara kahIM apane abhAva kI pUrti khojanA unake vaza kA hI nahIM thA / jaba maiM isa ghara meM A gayI, to pAyA ki unake citta kA sArA cira upekSita snehasadbhAva mujha meM kendrita ho gayA hai / ve mujhe beTI kI taraha mAnate the, aura cupacApa ekAnta bhAva se merI sammAna-rakSA, mere hita-sAdhana aura AzvAsana kI maka ceSTA ve karate rahate the| unake vAtsalya kI isa antaHsalilA ko apane bhItara pravAhita hote maiMne spaSTa anubhava kiyA thaa| eka bAra avasara pA kara unhoMne mere deza-gA~va, kula-nAma-gotra, mAtApitA aura kaSTa kI kathA ko jAnane ke bhAva se sAMketika pRcchA kI thii| sAyaMkAla ke adhomukha kamala kI taraha natazira, mUka, udAsIna maiM cupa khar3I raha gayI thii| merA sArA hRdaya umar3a kara mere oThoM para jaise eka cirakAla kI banda maMjUSA para lagI niSedha-mudrA sA aMkita ho rahA thaa| merI niruttara kaThora khAmozI se unake hRdaya para jo AghAta huA, use maiMne mana hI mana bUjha liyaa| mere muMha se itanA hI asphuTa svara nikalA : ___'bApU, mujhe koI duHkha nahIM, abhAva nhiiN| Apa haiM, phira cintA kisa bAta kI / maiM bahuta bhAgyazAlI huuN|..' ___ isake uparAnta maiMne dekhA thA, ki ve bahuta prasanna, parituSTa aura sakriya rahane lage the| unake cehare kI udAsI aura vIrAnI g2Ayaba ho gayI thii| eka nirudvega, prasanna zAnti unake mukha para virAjita dIkhatI thii| eka dAsI apanI sImA-maryAdA meM raha kara unakI jo bhI sevA-saMbhAla kara sakatI thI, vaha mujhase sahaja hI hotI thii| vastutaH gRha-dAsI hone ke kAraNa, maiM

Page #207
... 197 gRha-svAminI ke adhikAra-kSetra kI bandinI thii| unakA AtaMka itanA bhayAvaha thA, ki usa ghara ke sAye meM praveza karate hue AkAza kI mukta paMkhinI bhI DaratI thI / bhUla se A jAye to usakI bolI banda ho jAtI, usake paMkha mAno kaTa se jAte / eka dAsI ke nAte ucchiSTa yA bAse anna para hI merA nirvAha thaa| para anna jIvitA mujha meM AraMbha me hI nahIM thI, so bace-khace phala-mUla se hI maiM santuSTa ho rahatI thii| __ zreSTi cupacApa merI acUka paricaryA, akhaTa dhairya aura sahiSNutA ko dekha kara vahuta kAtara vigalita dikhAyI par3ate / kaI bAra ekAnta kA avasara pA kara ve kapizA ke aMgra. yA sudUra gAndhAra ke durlabha phaloM kI choTI-sI TokanI duvakA kara mujhe de jAte / majhe lagatA thA ki kabhI bhI laMkA-kANDa ho sakatA hai / aura bApU ke cira marmAhata hRdaya ko maraNAMtaka AghAta laga sakatA hai / so eka dina maiMne dhIre se kaha diyA : 'bApU. isa taraha kyA isa ghara meM mujhe koI rahane degA ? yaha kyA kama hai, ki Apake vAtsalya kI chA~va meM, vyAdha ke tIra se trANa pA kara, eka nIr3ahArA paMkhinI murakSita hai / ApakI sevA karane kA bhAgya merA nahIM, para ApakI A~khoM Age hU~, yahI mujha abhAginI ke lie kyA kama santoSa kI bAta hai ? * * *aura kisI dina nikAla bAhara kara dI gayI to, * * 'to' : 'to' : 'tumhArA kyA hogA . . . bApU. . . ?' ___ isake bAda mere liye cIz2a-vastu lAnA unhoMne banda kara diyA thaa| para dekhatI thI, mere tiraskAra, apamAna aura upekSA ko dekha kara unakA hRdaya sadA TIsatA rahanA thA / maiM unake pUjA-gRha kI paricaryA karatI, apane hAthoM maba jhAr3a-poMcha kara, upakaraNoM ko dho-mAMja kara rkhtii| bAg2a kI kuiyA meM se prAsuka jala kA bhRgAra bhara lA kara rakha detii| pUjA ke phUla-phala, dIpa, dhUpa, naivedya saba sajA kara rakha detii| brAhma-muhUrta meM kisI ke uThane se pahale hI yaha sArI vyavasthA maiM cupacApa kara detI thii| kisI ko patA hI nahIM cala pAtA thaa| usake uparAnta apane mAmAyika dhyAna meM baiTha jaatii| gahacaryA Arambha hote hI, dAsI ThIka samaya para seThAnI kI cAkarI meM hAz2ira ho jaatii| maiMne dekhA ki merI isa adRzya sevA se bApU gaharI tRpti aura zAnti anubhava karane lage the / kintu kuTila niyati, sArI sAvadhAniyoM ko viphala kara, kisa samaya ghaTamphoTa kara degI. kauna jAna sakatA hai| kaisI SaDayaMtrI ho kara AyI thI, grISma kI vaha bhayAvaha dopaharI ! * * bApU ko usa dina apane gA~va-khetoM se lauTane meM bahuta abera ho gayI thii| bhojana ke uparAnta ghara meM saba vizrAma karane jA cuke the| bApU kA nijI bhRtya bhI yogAt so gayA thaa| usa sannATe meM osAre ke eka khambhe

Page #208
198 ke sahAre baiThI maiM sacinta bhAva se bApU kI pratIkSA kara rahI thii| unake marane-jIne kI cintA karane vAlA isa saMsAra meM koI nahIM thA, yaha maiM acchI taraha jAnatI thii| * * * madhyAkAza meM jeTha kA sUraja tapa rahA thaa| pracaNDa lU bharI usa dupaharI meM ekAeka bApu sahana meM dikhAyI par3e / unake paira dhulAne ko vahA~ koI nahIM thaa| ve pasIne se tara-batara, dhUla-dhasara deha aura cehare ke sAtha. bahuta malina, viSaNNa aura klAnta dikhAyI pdd'e| unakI vaha nirIha, kAtara mudrA mujhe asahya ho gayI / kyA unake liye saMsAra meM kisI ko pratIkSA nahIM . . . ? mujha me rahA na gayA / uTa kara A~gana ke kadalI-kyAre ke pAsa caukI bichA dI, aura kumbha meM jala tathA tauliyA lekara khar3I ho gyii| mA~ ke A~cala kI jhalaka pAte hI, jaMgala meM bhalA-bhaTakA bAlaka Azvasta ho jaise pAsa Dhalaka Aye, vaise hI bApU caukI para A khar3e hue / maiM kumbha se jala dhArA unake pairoM para DAlane lgii| * kSaNa bhara mana-mana hI socA * ina caraNoM ko apane hAthoM dho sakU~, aisA bhAgya merA kahA~ ? merI A~kheM umar3a aayiiN| mujha se rahA na gayA, maiM cupacApa una cira zrAnta gaura caraNoM ko apane hAthoM se dhone lagI / A~kheM umar3atI hI calI AyIM / A~sU chupAne ko grIvA eka ora mor3a lI / ki tabhI mere Dhera sAre kAle-kAle, bhaMvarAle lambe kezoM kA jUr3A khula kara, sArI kezarAzi bApU ke pairoM para A girI aura kyAre kI kIcar3a meM una kezoM ke chora sana gaye / bApU se rahA na gayA, unhoMne turanta hI mere kezoM ko donoM hAthoM se sAdara uThA kara, mere kandhe para DAla diyA / * * *isake pahale ki merI sisakI phUTa par3e, maiM druta paga vahA~ se bhAga khar3I huii| * * 'patA nahIM kaba kaise mUlA seThAnI jAga uThI thIM, aura apane kakSa ke alinda para se unhoMne yaha dRzya dekha liyA thaa| * * 'sAzcarya usI sA~jha acAnaka dekhA ki bApU ko jAne kisa ajJAta bAdhyatA ke kAraNa kucha dinoM ko kauzAmbI se bAhara cale jAnA par3A hai| * * 'agale dina bar3I bhora hI anabhra vajrapAta-sA svAminI kA Adeza sunAyI par3AH 'Ao mahArAnI, tumhAre kAle-kuTila kezoM ke ina nAgoM ko nAgaloka pahu~cA dUM, nahIM to mere ghara kA sarvanAza ho kara rhegaa|' __ maiM samajha gayI, kisa mUla meM se yaha viSa umar3a AyA hai| saMjJAhata, zUnya, staMbhita ho rhii| * * 'agale hI kSaNa merI gardana Dhakela kara nApita kI kaiMcI ke nIce Thela dI gyii| candanA ke jisa kezapAza se devI AmrapAlI taka IrSyA karatI thI, vaha vipala mAtra meM kaTa kara usakI A~khoM Age Dhera ho gyaa| piTArI meM banda karake nAgoM ko rasAtala pahu~cA diyA gyaa| . . .

Page #209
199 atyanta moTA khurdarA vasana mujhe pahanA diyA gyaa| A~khoM para paTTI bA~dha kara svAminI ke Adeza para, havelI ke tahaqhAne kI eka aMdhI koTharI meM mujhe Dhakela diyA gyaa| taba A~khoM kI paTTI utAra dI gayI, aura mere pairoM meM lohe kI ber3iyA~ DAla dI gyiiN| maMDita kezI, bandinI dAsI candanA ke isa svarUpa ko dekha kara mujhe eka vicitra mukti anubhava huI / * * 'samasta AryAvarta kI haz2AroM dIna-dalitA apanI dAsI-bahanoM ke zatiyoM vyApI AmaraNa kaSTa-nirdalana ke ekIbhUta pratizodha kI pAtra Aja maiM yatheSTa rUpa meM ho gayI . . 'o parama satya, o parama nyAya, tuma kahIM ho astitva meM to dekhanA, yaha pratizodha merA tila-tila dahana kara, acUka sampanna ho / dAsiyoM kI dAsI candanA kA yaha yajJa amogha ho, koI kasara na raha jaaye| . . ' 'nirjala, nirAhAra, unnidra dina-rAta bItane lge| DA~sa-macchara, kIr3emakor3e, barra-tataiye tathA vicitra sarisRpoM kI isa tamasAcchanna sRSTi meM pAyA, ki merA ekAkI jIva jAne kitane bhava-bhava ke bichur3e jIvoM kA saMga-sAtha sahasA hI pA gayA hai / jIvoM ke paraspara upagraha kI nirbAdha aura nagna anubhUti satata bhItara saMcarita rahane lgii| bhUkhA-pyAsA tana-badana niDhAla samarpita, avaza bhAva se dhula bhare pharza kI zilAoM para par3A hai| aura usa akriya nizceSTatA meM, nAnA jIva-jantuoM ke taraha-taraha ke daMza, cubhana, pIr3ana, sarasarAhaToM ko avArita bhAva se sahanA hI merA ekamAtra sukha ho gayA hai| deha ke aNu-aNu meM apane ko niHzeSa de dene kI, cukA dene kI aisI vikala vedanA umar3atI rahatI hai, ki kahane meM nahIM aatii| kisI cumbana, AliMgana, athavA zizu ke oThoM meM umar3ate mA~ ke stana kI Ananda-vedanA kyA aisI hI nahIM hotI hogI? . . . eka tandrAcchanna jhillI-rava meM stabdha merI cetanA meM, vigata jIvana kI sArI citramAlA, chAyA-khelA kI taraha khulatI rahatI hai| * * 'usa dina tumane kahA thA, mAna : 'tuma kitanI sundara ho, mausI ! * * aisA saundarya yadi kahIM bhI hai, to mere liye vivAha anAvazyaka hai !' . . aura usake bAda kahane meM tumane kucha bhI to zeSa nahIM rahane diyA thaa| niHzabda, nirvicAra ho gayI thI suna kara / kevala itanA hI bodha zeSa raha gayA thA : merA niyati-puruSa bolA hai ! acUka aura avikalpa hai yaha vaannii| - 'merA kartRtva samApta ho gayA hai| jAne kaise samajha gayI thI, ki isa saundarya ko pArthiva meM sahejA aura sahA nahIM jA sktaa| mATI ke tana meM yaha jvAlA simaTI nahIM raha sktii|

Page #210
200 use jalA kara bhasma kara degI, yA use bhI Aga meM rUpAntarita karake hI caina legii| * 'khataranAka ho tuma, o anahone yuvAn ! nirantara qhatare meM jIne vAle tuma, mujhe apane pIche surakSita jagata meM jIne ko kaise chor3a jA sakate the ! __.. 'merA kyA vaza thaa| apane bAvajUda tumhArI sahacAriNI, anugAminI ho kara raha gyii| hiMsra vAsanA ke khUkhAra jaMgaloM aura andhI khaMdakoM meM apane ko vicarate dekhaa| jisa saundarya para tumane apanI mudrA A~ka dI thI, use apanI hI Aga meM tapa kara, apanI asmitA siddha karanI hI thii| antima andhakAra ke loka meM praveza kara ke hI jAna sakI thI, ki ekamAtra isI saundarya kI rozanI ke sahAre to mRtyu meM bhI calA jA sakatA hai ! * * hiMsra jantuoM se bhare isa aMdhiyAre talaghara kI tamasAkAra dIvAreM usa rUpa kA AinA bana gayI haiN| ber3iyoM meM ba~dhI par3I muMDitA dAsI ne apanI vAsukI alakoM ke sAmudrika vaibhava ko Aja pahalI bAra phcaanaa| tumhAre zabda mithyA kaise ho sakate the, o kAla-puruSa! dAsI bhikSuNI ho kara mere sAmane khar3I hai| ise bhikSA dene yogya mere pAsa aba kyA bacA hai ? sarvasva chIna kara bhI tumheM caina nahIM ? aba bhI yadi mujha meM kucha avaziSTa bacA ho, to le lo| prastuta huuN| nirjana, nirAhAra, zithila ho rahe isa gAta ke taTa para yaha kauna garur3a paMkha mAra rahA hai ? kauna AyA hai isa vainateya para car3ha kara? * * * - zaizava se isa kSaNa taka kI candanA eka samagra jIvanta citrapaTa kI taraha sAmane khulatI rahatI hai| khaNDa-khaNDa smRtiyA~ aba mujhe nahIM satA paatiiN| kabhI kahIM aura thI, aura taraha thI, aura aba yahA~ isa avasthA meM hU~, aisI koI TIsa bhI nahIM staatii| jo vahA~ thI, vahI to yahA~ bhI huuN| mere eka raktANu meM vaha saba jaise ekatra simaTa AyA hai| mA~, pitA, bhAI, bhAbhiyAM, parijana, vaizAlI ke mahala aura vaibhava, sabhI kucha to jahA~ kA tahA~ hai| cAha kara bhI cintA nahIM kara pAtI, ki mere usa Akasmika vilopana se mere AtmIyoM para kyA bItI hogI, bIta rahI hogI? mere vichoha kA kitanA gaharA AghAta merI vRddhA mA~ ko lagA hogA? * * kyA karU~, koI zokasantApa aura viraha-vedanA mere jI ko vikala nahIM kara paatii| kyA jar3a ho gayI hU~? aisA to nahIM lgtaa| * * 'mahaloM kA vaha aizvarya-vilAsa aura yaha kArAvAsa, bahuta hI saMcetana aura ekAgra cetanA se eka sAtha bhoga rahI hU~ / ... apane vAtAyana kI meharAba pakar3a kara, sAmane ke nIla antarikSa meM tairatI, usa malaya-kapUrI tanvaMgI bAlA ko, isa kSaNa bhI apanI zirAoM meM jyoM

Page #211
. 201 . kI tyoM mahesUsa kara rahI huuN| socatI hU~, indranIla maNi ke vAtAyana-reliMga para jo Thahara nahIM pAtI thI, use eka dina carama andhakAra kI khandaka meM kUdanA hI thaa| vahA~ se yahA~ taka, eka hI chalAMga meM to calI AyI hU~ . . . vRddhA dAsI manasA dUra se hI mujha para bahuta mamatA rakhatI hai| vaha eka dina A kara talaghara ke baMda dvAra kI zalAkhoM para budabudA gaI thI : 'hAya re daiyA, aisI sundara komala lar3akI kaisI vipada meM A par3I hai ?seThAnI to ise banda kara usI dina pIhara calI gayI thii| so aba taka lauTane ke lakSaNa nhiiN| zreSThi ko usa karkazA ne jAne kahA~ paThA diyA hai, kauna jAne ? kitane dinoM se upAsI par3I hai biTiyA isa kAla-koTharI meN| * * 'corI se bhojana lA kara, pukAratI hU~, to uttara taka nahIM detii| usa aMdhare kone meM lAza banI par3I hai !' uttara to nahIM diyA, para merI nirjIva-sI ho par3I sArI deha manasA mausI ke liye vyAkula-vihvala ho uThI thii| A~sU umar3a Aye the| mana hI mana phUTA thA : ___. . 'aura mausI, tuma svayam ? tumhArA apanA bhAgya ? tuma bhI to cira janma kI dAsI ho? apane duHkha-durbhAgya ko bhUla kara mere kapToM para A~sU bahA rahI ho? kitanI bar3I ho tuma mausI ? AryAvarta kI kauna mahArAnI tumase bar3I ho sakatI hai?' eka savere acAnaka tandrAloka kI paratoM ko bheda kara sunAyI par3A : 'beTI candana, maiM A gayA, tumhArA bApU ! * * 'tumhArI yaha dazA * * *?' sIMkhacoM para sara DhAla kara, bApU phaphaka-phaphaka kara ro rahe the| * * 'sahA na gyaa| uTha kara aayii| A~kha uThA kara mere usa rUpa ko dekhanA unake vaza kA na thaa| 'nahIM bApU, aise nahIM krte| * * dekho' : 'merI ora * * 'maiM hU~ na! kahIM calI thor3e hI gayI hU~ ?' * * 'bApU Thahara na sake / 'ruko beTA, abhI AyA * * / ' kaha kara ve ulaTe pairoM lauTa pdd'e| ____ jAne kaba pAyA ki dvAra khula gayA hai| ghara kI bhediyA manasA dAsI ne kahIM se cAbhI Toha nikAlI hogii| * * rasoIghara meM kahIM kucha na milA shaayd| bhaMDAra para maz2abUta tAle par3e the| bApU eka kSaNa bhI aba mujhe niranna chor3a kara vahA~ se haTanA nahIM cAhate the| bahuta TaTola kara jo milA vahI tatkAla le aaye| eka sUpa meM kulamASa dhAnya ke kucha daane| eka miTTI ke

Page #212
202 kulhar3a meM jala / * * 'mere sAmane vaha deharI meM rakha kara ve bhAge, ber3I kATane ke liye lohAra ko bulAne, bAz2Ara se phalAhAra laane| manasA mausI bhI kisI anya prabandha meM vyasta ho gayI haiM khiiN| pUrvAhna kI dhUpa kA eka Tukar3A koTharI kI deharI para A kara par3a rahA hai| - 'kitane dinoM bAda Aja mere liye sUraja ugA hai ? merA sUraja * * ! yaha anna-jala tatkAla grahaNa na karU~gI, to lauTa kara bApU dukhI hoNge| * * 'tumhAre diye isa amRta kA prAzana karatI hU~, bApU / basa itanI hI dera hai ki dvAra para koI atithi A jaaye| atithi-devatA mere isa bhojana ko prasAda kara deN| * * kyA dAsiyoM kI dAsI candanA ke dvAra kA abhyAgata ho sake, aisA koI jana manuSya ke isa loka meM hogA ?' . : mere nAtha * * 'mere bhagavAna * * 'tuma kahA~ ho * * ?' * * 'kahIM dUrI para, kauzAmbI ke rAjapatha se ye kaisI dhvaniyA~ sunAyIM par3a rahI haiN| dhvaniyA~ pAsa se pAsatara calI A rahI haiM : ___mahAzramaNa varddhamAna kI jaya ho| devarSi jJAtaputra kI jaya ho| . . . bhagavAna mahAvIra kI jaya ho * * *!' * * * 'oha, tuma A gaye, mere atithi * * *?'' kisI taraha sIMkhace pakar3a kara khar3I ho gyii| eka kadama se Age to bar3ha nahIM sktii| ber3I jo par3I hai pairoM meM / eka paira koTharI meM, aura eka paira deharI ke pAra dhara kara ThiThakI raha gayI huuN| sUpa meM ye tuccha kulamASa ke dAne bhara haiN| aura yaha mATI kA kulhar3a bhara pAnI / malinA, muMDitA, dIna-dukhiyArI dAsI kA yaha dAna grahaNa kara sakoge ? * * 'mahAlayoM kI mIMva ke isa adRzya, a~dhiyAre kone meM, tuma jhA~ka sakoge, o tribhuvana ke rAjAdhirAja? : ..

Page #213
ujjayinI kI mahAkAlI kI goda se utara kara jo calA, to gaMgAyamunA ke saMgama para A khar3A huA hU~ / gandharva nagarI kauzAMbI kI abhraMkaSa prAsAda-mAlAe~ / unake nAnA raMgI ratnadIpoM kI prabhA yamunA ke jAmalI jala meM jhalamalA rahI haiM / 'vatsa deza kI parama zrAvikA mahArAnI mRgAvatI, tuma cauMka uThI ho ? nahIM, yaha bhikSuka tumhAre siMhatoraNa kA atithi hone nahIM AyA / - udayana, tumhArI mAtaMga - vimohinI vINA zUnya aura svarahArA huI par3I hai / vAsavadattA ke sindhu-bhairavI rUpa-yauvana aura hRda-mAtula hastivanoM ko pIche chor3a, tuma kina patharIle biyAvAnoM meM bhaTaka rahe ho ? para tumhAre dvAra-kakSoM aura udyAnoM kI zAla bhaMjikAe~ akulA kara calAyamAna ho uThI haiM / kauzAMbI ke mahAlayoM ke svarNa-zikhara nahIM, unakI mAnuSa-bhakSI nIvoM ke ThaMDe aMdhiyAroM kA AvAhana mere pairoM ko yahA~ khIMca lAyA hai / 'mahArAnI mRgAvatI, tumhAre ratna pratimAoM vAle jina-maMdiroM ke zilIbhUta devatA mujhe AkRSTa na kara sake : tumhAre jIvanta dAsI - paNyoM kI jaMjIreM merI. raktavAhiniyoM meM jhanajhanA uThI haiM / " ... kahA~ hai vaha azrumukhI rAjabAlA ' jAne kitane dinoM kA upAsI hai bhikSuka / mAyApurI kauzAMbI meM kauna use AhAradAna karegA ? are yaha kisane pukArA : 'tuma kahA~ ho ?' 'mere nAtha 'mere bhagavAna * * avijJAta dUrI meM dekha rahA hU~: eka mahAlaya kA talaghara / muMDita zIza, dhUli -dhUsarita, dIna- malina vasanA koI rAjaputrI ber3iyoM meM par3I bandinI / niSkampa dIpazikhA - sI prAjjavalyamAna sundarI satI / ' * ber3Ibaddha eka paira kAla- koTharI kI deharI ke bhItara dUsarA paira bAhara / donoM hAthoM para uThe sUpa meM kulamASa dhAnya ke dAne / mATI ke kulhar3a meM nirmala jala / jAne kaba kI upAsI, bhUkhI-pyAsI / usakI A~khoM se baha rahe haiM avirala A~sU / 'kauna ho tuma ? kahA~ ho tuma, o kalyANI ? kAminI aura kAMcana ke sau-sau parakoTa par3e haiM hamAre biic| rote-bilakhate, mUka pazu kI taraha jUA

Page #214
204 Dhote dAsatva kI jAne kitanI pIr3hiyA~ rAzibaddha ho kara par3I haiM hamAre bIca / AdikAla kI santapte, cira zoSita mAnava - santAnoM ke duHkha- paritApoM aura ghaTe A~suoM ke dhuMdhavAte samudra par3e haiM sAmane / ina saba meM se saMkrAnta hokara hI to pahu~ca sakUMgA, tere dvAra para, o kArAvAsinI AtmA ! ' kauzAMbI ke dvAra-dvAra para bhikSuka, usa karuNa-mukhI azrulatA ko khojegA' dekha rahA hU~, bhikSuka hara dina gocarI para nikala kara anAhAra hI lauTa jAtA hai| kauzAMbI ke jinopAsaka zrAvakoM meM isase bhArI vikSobha chA gayA hai / bhavya mahAlayoM ke dvAroM para dvArApekSaNa karatI sundariyoM ke hAthoM ke ratna-kalaza aura AvAhana mu~ha tAkate raha jAte haiN| divya anna pakvAnnoM kI rasavatI ke thAla prati dina parAjita, upekSita, ThukarAye par3e raha jAte haiM / bhikSuka ekAkSI agnibANa-sA siMhAvalokana karatA, nagara kI sArI vIthiyoM, antarAyaNoM, catrapathoM, rAjapathoM ko beroka pAra karatA nikala jAtA hai / sarvasAdhAraNa prajA se lagA kara, zreSThi zrAvakoM kI haveliyoM aura rAjamahAlayoM taka meM isase bhArI cintA vyApa gayI hai / khalabhalI maca gayI hai / *! * niSphala bhikSATana ke ye cAra mAsa, cAra yuga kI taraha bIte haiM / bar3I duHsAdhya parIkSA lI hai, merI usa kArAvAsinI annapUrNA ne / zatAbdiyoM ke daurAna, mahAjanoM ke bhaMDAra dhana-dhAnya se bhare hone para bhI, una mA~ kI koTi-koTi santAneM jo bhUkhI naMgI rahatI AyIM haiM, usI kA daNDa zAyada ve jagadambA mujhe de rahI haiM / unakA jo svarUpa mere abhigraha meM jhalaka rahA hai, use dekhakara siddhAlayoM ke jyotirmaya zikharoM kI ora se mahAvIra ne A~kha phera lI hai| bhItara jhA~kate, pukArate mokSa mandira ke kapATa usane jhuMjhalA kara banda kara diye haiM / * aura vaha kauzAMbI kI aMdhI galiyoM meM sarvahArA, malina- vadanA, azrumukhI mA~ ke usa saMtrasta mukhar3e ko khojatA phira rahA hai|' sugupta maMtrI ke dvAra-paura se eka dina guz2ara rahA thA / dUra se mujhe dekha usakI strI nandA harSAkula hokara bola par3I : 'lo, mahAvIra arhanta, saubhAgya se mere dvAra para hI A rahe haiM !' vividha vyaMjanI rasavatI ke suvarNa thAloM se sajjita dAlAna meM nandA AvAhana karatI raha gaI / para bhikSuka usa ora A~kha uThAye binA hI nikala gyaa| pIche sunAyI par3A nandA ke kAtara kaNTha kA udAsa svara : Jain Educationa International 'hAya, kaisI hatabhAginI hU~ maiN| Aja eka sau bIsavIM bAra merI rasavatI prabhu kA kalpa na ho skii| merA naivedya hara bAra prasAda hone se vaMcita hI For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #215
205 raha gayA / * orI bhadrA dAsI, yaha kaisA pApodaya huA hai, mere aura sArI kauzAmbI ke, ki bhagavAna Aja cAra mahIne se, gocarI para nikala kara bhI, hamAre anna ko kRtArtha nahIM krte| hamArI sArI pUjAMjaliyoM ko pITha dekara ve cale jAte haiN| ." sugupta maMtrI jaba sA~jha ko ghara lauTe, to dekhA ki nandA rAnI udAsa mukha liye A~sU sAra rahIM haiN| maMtrI ne unakI manuhAra kara kAraNa jAnanA cAhA, para nandA ke mukha meM bola ru~dha gayA hai / uttara nahIM miltaa| maMtrI hAre-se usake pairoM ke pAsa nirupAya baiTha rahe / taba bahuta dera bAda A~cala se A~sU poMchatI nandA upAlambha ke svara meM bolI : 'ojI mantrIzvara, vatsa deza kA mahArAjya kisa buddhi se calAte ho ? tuma yaha bhI patA nahIM lagA sake, ki kisa kAraNa mahAzramaNa mahAvIra bhagavanta, tumhArI vipulA nagarI meM cAra mahIne se hara dina bhikSATana karake bhI, bhUkhepyAse hI lauTa jAte haiM ? dhikkAra hai tumhArI vilAsa nagarI kauzAmbI kA devopama vaibhava / niHsatva haiM, tumhAre apAra dhAnyoM se lahalahAte kheta / rasahIna haiM tumhAre rasamAte phalodyAna / dugdhahIna haiM tumhAre dUdha-dahI kI nadiyA~ bahAte godhana / tumhAre isa vizAla annakUTa meM kucha bhI devArya varddhamAna ke liye kalpa na ho sakA ? 'kaisA durddharSa abhigraha dhAraNa kara bhUkha-pyAsa kI jvAlAoM meM tapa rahe haiM ve mahAtapasvI ! kauzAmbI ke vaibhava se cauMdhiyAte, dhana-dhAnyoM se bharapUra rAjamArgoM kI avagaNanA kara, ve nagara kI bhUkhI-pyAsI, trasta, anAtha andhI galiyoM meM cale jAte haiM / aura phira lauTa kara Ate nahIM dikhAyI pdd'te| 'hamArI lajjA aura anuzocanA kA pAra nahIM / hamAre A~caloM ke dUdha sUkha gaye haiM, isa dAruNa hatAzA se / aura tuma rAjapuruSoM ke kAnoM para jUM bhI nahIM reMgatI / dhikkAra haiM tumhAre ye rAjya aura pauruSa / dhikkAra haiM tumhAre aura tumhAre rAjezvaroM ke ye mukuTa-kuNDala ke abhimAna / gaMdhazAliyoM se lahalahAte tumhAre gaMgA-yamunA ke ye doAba mujhe banjara lagate haiM / prabhu ne tumhAre eka taMdula ke dAne ko bhI apane AhAra ke yogya nahIM samajhA ! ' maMtrIzvara niruttara, lajjita, natamAtha dharatI meM gar3e raha gaye haiM / phira bahuta manuhAra kara rUThI rAnI ko manAyA hai / vacana diyA hai ki zIghra hI prabhu ke dAruNa abhigraha kA patA calAyeMge 1 mahArAnI mRgAvatI ke siMhadvAra para bhI hara dina AhAradAna kA bhavya rAjasI Ayojana hotA hai / para bhikSuka usa rAha to AyA hI nahIM / mausImahArAnI kA mAtR-hRdaya usase masosa uThA hai, aura unake aizvarya garvI ahaMkAra

Page #216
206 ko bhI isase kama Thesa nahIM pahu~cI hai| isa komala hRdayA, dharmAtmA zrAvikA ne apane ratnima devAlayoM meM zAnti ke anuSThAna Ayojita kiye haiN| hara dina ve koI rasa tyAga karake hI bhojana karatI haiN| mahArAja zatAnIka ko hara dina kosane meM ve koI kasara nahIM rakhatI haiM : 'o rAjezvara, dhala-mATI se bhI nikRSTa haiM, tumhAre ye sattA aura sampadA ke DhUha, tumhArI ye mANika-muktA kI rAziyA~ / kAka-bIToM ke Dhera haiM tumhAre qhaz2AnoM kI ye puztainI, cira purAcIna, mahAmUlya nidhiyaaN| merA tribhuvanapati beTA varddhamAna, pahalI bAra mere A~gana meM AyA, aura tumhArI isa urvarA dharatI kA eka anna-kaNa bhI use rAsa na AyA, use na bhAyA ! kaise mAna ki gaMgA-yamunA ke kachAra jIvanta aura urvara haiN| mujhe tumhAre gandha-zAliyoM meM sar3ate dhAnya kI gaMdha A rahI hai| tumhAre mahAlaya zavAlayoM se lagate haiN| isa lajjA aura lAMchanA se kahA~ nistAra hai ? * . . 'hamArI vaibhava-lAlita sukumAra kAyA to eka dina ke liye bhI prabhu ke sAtha upAsI nahIM raha paatii| para suna rahI hU~ ki una andhI-gandI galiyoM ke kaI nara-nArI, AbAla-vRddha-vanitA, arhat prabhu kI isa dAruNa pariSaha-tapasyA ko asahya pA kara, svayam bhI kaI dinoM se nirjala nirAhAra ho kara par3a gaye haiN| ve andhI gliyaaN| ve dainya, dAridya, durAcAra aura pApa ke aDDe / nIca vargoM ke vezyAlaya, madirAlaya, jinameM kabhI hama jhAMkanA bhI pasanda nahIM krte| unhIM meM jA kara ve nigaMTha jJAtuputra jAne kahA~ kho jAte haiN| lauTa kara Ane kA nAma nahIM lete| 'hAya re bhagavAna, yaha kaisA lajjAspada vyaMgya janmA hai kauzAmbI meN| aura aise meM udayana, tU jAne kina vIrAnoM kI khAka chAna rahA hai? tere pratApa, kalA, saundarya, praNaya aura vijaya kI, havAoM meM gUMjatI gAthAe~, mujhe Aja miTTI meM loTatI dIkha rahI haiN| apane hI raktajAta bhAI ke isa tapohimAcala vaibhava ko eka bAra, kAza, tU dekhatA udayana ! tere sAre parAkrama usake caraNoM meM pAnI bharate rahate jAte . . . !' mahArAnI mugAvatI, maMtrIzvarI nandA aura sambhrAnta kuloM kI aneka aMganAoM ke A~sU-bhIne A~caloM ne mAno tUfAna barapA kara diyA hai| usase tAr3anA pA kara samUcA rAjaparikara devArya vardhamAna ke duranta abhigraha kA patA pAne kI koziza meM prANapaNa se juTa gayA hai| mahArAja zatAnIka rAta-dina maMtraNA-gRha meM maMtriyoM, AmAtyoM, senApatiyoM ke sAtha maMtraNA-parAmarza meM

Page #217
207 vyasta rahate haiN| kauzAmbI ke sAre hI nimitta jJAnI, tAMtrika, mAMtrika, daivajJa, jyotirvida eka-eka kara Aye haiM, aura mahAvIra ke manomaMtra kI thAha na pA kara, mlAna mukha lauTa gaye haiN| vipula dAna-dakSiNA de kara rAjya ke mahAyAnikoM se havana-anuSThAna karavAye jA rahe haiN| sAre hI jinAlayoM meM siddhacakra-pUjA ke maNDala-vidhAna cala rahe haiN| . . . para hutAtmA varddhamAna ke kSudhA-tRSA-yajJa kI pUrNAhuti sambhava na ho sakI hai| hara dina bhikSA kI aMjuli phailAye sukumAra rAja-saMnyAsI kauzAmbI kI parikramA kara bhUkhA hI lauTa jAtA hai| kauna ghAva usake marma meM TIsa rahA hai ? antarayAmI ke antara kI thAha lene meM kauna samartha ho sakatA hai| kauzAmbI meM hAhAkAra maca gayA hai| dAsI-paNyoM meM Akranda karatI dAsiyA~, caMDikAe~ ho uThI haiN| apane saudAgaroM ke sAre nAgapAzoM ko tor3a kara, ve pAgala kI taraha vilApa karatI, isa sundara sukumAra nagna avadhUta ke pIche bhAgI phiratI haiN| jahA~ usake paira par3ate haiM, vahA~ kI dhUli meM ve loTane laga jAtI haiN| usakI caraNa-raja ko AMcaloM meM bharane kI kAmeM hor3a lagI rahatI hai| dAsI-paNya ujar3a gaye haiN| saudAgara hAra mAna kara hAthoM para hAtha dhare baiThe raha gaye haiN| aneka to apanI haTTI uThA kara, vyApAra kI Toha meM paradesa cale gaye haiN| kauzAmbI ke vezyAlayoM ke kapATa banda ho gaye haiN| ve rUpa-jIviyA~ rUpa-yauvana tathA ziznodara kI bhUkha-pyAseM bisara gayIM haiN| sA~jhoM meM zRMgAraprasAdhana aura atithi-AvAhana kI sudha-budha unheM nahIM raha gayI hai| dIpabelA meM, apane iSTadeva ko dhUpa-dIpa phUla-gandha car3hA kara, A~cala mAthe para or3ha kara, ve sAzru-nayana prArthanA meM lIna ho rahatI haiM : 'he mujha pApina ke devatA, kaba taka kumAra-bhAgavata aise hI bhUkhe-bharakhe hamAre dvAroM se lauTate raheMge, aura hama peTa bhara zAli-khIra khA kara, sukha kI nIMda soyeMgI? jAna par3atA hai, hamAre hI janama-janama ke pApoM kA prAyazcita kara rahe haiM hamAre ye parama prItama, parama pitaa| dhikkAra haiM hamAre ye sAre siMgAra aura praNaya-vyApAra, yadi hamArI ekAkinI AtmA ke ye ekAkI vallabha prabhu unase prasanna aura parituSTa nahIM hote . . . !' aura ve A~sU sAratI huI jahA~ kI tahA~ zava kI taraha lur3haka par3atI haiN| - cAra mahIne ho gye| hara andhI galI ke antima a~dhere meM dhaMsatA hI calA gayA huuN| pAyA hai ki tamasaloka kI usa kuhA kA anta hI nahIM hai| hara parde ke bAda eka aura moTA pardA hai : usameM bhI taha ke bhItara kaI taheM haiM, parta ke bhItara kaI parte haiN| jAle ke bhItara kaI jAle haiN| gavhara meM

Page #218
208 gavhara hai, aura usake caha~ora gavhara para gavhara khalate cale jA rahe haiN| aura phira AyI hai vaha gufA, jisameM jA kara Aja taka koI nahIM lauTA hai / aisI hor3a lagI hai, ki yA to vaha gufA rahe, yA phira maiM rhuuNgaa|' * sunAyI par3atI hai usake chorAnta meM se eka kAtara, kaThora, bahuta mahIna, mRdu AvAja : 'nahIM. * tumheM kabhI nahIM pukArU~gI, mRtyu ke jabar3e meM par3a jAU~, taba bhI nhiiN| tumhArI khoja meM nahIM, apanI hI khoja meM bhaTaka rahI huuN| tuma mere hote hI kauna ho. * * ?' aura usa AvAz2a ke udgama para pahu~cane kI anivAryatA bar3hatI hI gayI hai| adhika-adhika apanA ApA hAratA calA gayA huuN| pAyA hai ki apanA 'mAna' maiM nahIM, koI aura hI hai| varddhamAna kA koI eka mAna kaise ho sakatA hai ? * .. jIvana meM aisI kSudhA to kabhI nahIM lgii| aisI ki zasya-zyAmalA dharatI ke samUce rasa kA ekabAragI hI prAzana kiye binA, mAno vaha zamita na ho skegii| kahA~ hai vaha antima stana, jisameM kAlAtIta rUpa se dUdha stana meM, aura stana dUdha meM pariNata hotA rahatA hai| usa taka pahu~ce binA prANa ko virAma nahIM hai| __.. mere nAtha, mere bhagavAna, tuma kahA~ ho? * * "tuma kahA~ ho ?' avijJAta dUrI kI vaha pukAra apane hI antaratama meM se sunAyI par3a rahI hai| aMdhere kI antahIna kuhA yoM tirohita ho gayI, jaise eka gaharA rezamI jAmanI A~cala sahasA hI kisI ne khasakA diyA ho| ujjava dUdha kA pArAvAra, eka ati gaura vakSadeza ke taToM meM thamA huA hai| * * * mA~ * * *AtmA ! * * 'bhikSuka eka mahAlaya ke talaghara kI a~dherI koTharI ke dvAra para A kara aTaka gyaa| '. "oha, vahI to svarUpa sAmane prastuta hai, jo usa dina saMgama ke pulina para, mere bhItara abhigrahIta huA thaa| para, * * 'A~sU nahIM haiM isakI A~khoM meN| nahIM, yahAM nahIM aTaka skNgaa| * * *aura Age jAnA hogaa| kahIM aura * * * ! are kahA~ hai vaha karuNamukhI ashrultaa| kahA~ hai vaha azrumukhI rAjabAlA?' tapAka se bhikSuka lauTa gyaa| * * Age bar3ha gyaa| pIche sunAyI par3A : 'nAtha, mujhe nahIM pahacAnA? dekha kara bhI anadekhI kara gaye ? mujhI se bhUla ho gyii| * 'tumhArI candana tumheM pukAra rahI hai. . . !'

Page #219
bandinI kI A~khoM ke bA~dha TUTa gye| bhikSuka tatkAla lauTa aayaa| 'bhikSAdehI . . . !' anugaMjita huA havAoM meN| bhikSuka ne sahaja namrIbhUta ho kara, dAsiyoM kI dAsI candanA ke Age apanI bhikSA kA pANi-pAtra pasAra diyaa| candanA ne jhaka kara apane avirala bahate A~suoM se bhikSuka ke caraNa pakhAra diye| caraNodaka A~khoM aura mAthe para car3hA liyaa|* * *A~sU kI bUMdeM Tapa-Tapa bhikSuka kI karAMjali meM ttpkiiN| aura usake sAtha hI usa kalyANI ne sUpa ke eka kone se, usameM par3e ve kulamASa ke dAne atithi ke pANi-pAtra meM ur3ela diye| __* koI vajra-sA~kala bijalI ke jhaTake se jhanajhanA utthii| haThAt dAsI kI ber3iyA~ TUTa gyiiN| bhikSuka kI aMjuli meM sugandhita payasa chalachalA utthaa| cira dina ke kSudhita bAlaka kI taraha bhikSuka eka hI cUMTa meM usakA prAzana kara gyaa| 'anAthinI ke nAtha, mere patita-pAvana prabhu !' kaha kara candanA bhikSuka ke caraNoM meM loTa gyii| A~suoM se una dhUlidhUsarita, avizrAnta yAtrika pairoM ko pakhAratI huI, unheM apane gIle gAloM se poMchane lgii| 'parama paritrAtA, patita-pAvana bhagavAna mahAvIra jayavanta hoN|' . . . antahIna jaya-jayakAra karatI jana-medinI ne dekhA : divya vasudhArA barasAtI, nAnA vAjitroM se antarikSa ko guMjAtI, deva-paMktiyA~ usa a~dhiyArI koTharI ke A~gana meM utara rahI haiN| . . vipula utsava-kolAhala meM lokajana kho gye| bhikSaka jAne kaba kauzAmbI ke sImAnta se pAra ho gyaa| pIche use eka vidhura vivhala pukAra sunAyI par3I : 'aba majhe chor3a kara na jAo, mere nAtha / * * maiM A rahI hU~. . * maiM A rahI hU~ tumhAre sAtha * * * !' havA ne uttara diyA : 'evamastu . . . !' bhikSuka ne lauTa kara nahIM dekhaa| vaha calatA hI calA gayA * * *calatA hI calA gyaa|

Page #220
sRSTi kA ekameva abhiyukta maiM campA meM varSAvAsa vyatIta kara, jRmbhaka grAma, meDhaka grAma se vihAra karatA huA, SaDgamAni grAma AyA hU~ / yahA~ ke upAnta bhAga meM, suramya zAlmali-vana ke taladeza meM eka zilAtala para A baiThA hU~ / cAroM ora dUradUra taka phaile carAgAhoM meM gvAle gAyeM carA rahe haiN| dUrAnta meM eka TIle para caratI ekAkI gAya ke catuSpada meM dIkhA : AkAza ke taTa para jhUlatA kisI mahala kA alinda / use ekaTaka nihAratA jAne kaba antaragAmI deza-kAla ke jAne kitane hI paTaloM meM yAtrA karane lagA / dhyAna gabhIra se gabhIratara hotA gayA / aisA ki jahA~ vistAra aura gaharAva ekAkAra ho gaye haiM / atIta jIvana-janmoM kI jAne kitanI hI saraNiyA~ pAra hotI calI gayIM / - haThAt dekhA, ki maiM hUM tripRSTha vAsudeva, tIna khaNDa pRthvI kA adhIzvara, parama pratApI ardhacakrI / apane vipula vaibhava maMDita kakSa meM, eka vasanta rAtri kI zayana - belA meM, kundandhArijAta phUloM kI sukha-zayA meM adha-leTA hU~ / pharza para dUra dvIpAntara se AyI eka kinnara - maNDalI, apane apArthiva saMgIta se cakrI kA manoraMjana kara rahI hai / usake svarAlApa se sammohita maiM stabdha citra-likhita sA raha gayA huuN| aisA saMgIta ki jisakI mIr3a-mUrcchanA meM lavalIna ho kara tiryaMca pazu-prANi taka bhUkha-pyAsa bhUla kara Atma-vismRta ho jAyeM / pahara rAta gaye mujha para gaharI tandrA chAne lagI hai / maiMne apane zaiyApAla ko Adeza diyA : 'jaba mujhe nIMda A jAye, to tU isa saMgIta sabhA ko visarjita karavA denA / ' maiM gaharI nidrA meM magna ho gayA, phira bhI saMgIta-sabhA jArI rahI / pichalI rAta acAnaka maiM jAgA, to pAyA ki saMgIta kI dhArA vaisI hI avirAma baha rahI hai| merI bhRkuTiyA~ Ter3hI ho gyiiN| maiMne zaiyApAla ko talaba kiyA : 'maiM so gayA, phira bhI saMgIta cala hI rahA hai / merI AjJA kA pAlana kyoM nahIM huA ?"

Page #221
211 sudhabudha bhUlA zaiyApAla hoza meM Akara bolA 'svAmI, saMgIta itanA mohaka thA, ki merA to ApA hI kho gyaa| AjJA-pAlana kauna kare? dAsa kA aparAdha kSamA kreN|' * * * usa samaya to nidrAvaza hone se maiM apanA krodha pI kara so gyaa| para sabere rAjasabhA meM Ate hI maiMne zaiyApAla ko talaba kiyA aura lalakAra uTA : 'o nIca, pAmara, terA itanA mAhasa ki cakravartI kI AjJA kA bhaMga kiyA tUne ? vikhaNDa pRthvI ko sattA aura sampadA kA svAmI jisa saMgIta sukha kA upabhoga karatA hai, usI kA Ananda tU bhI legA re, pAMzukulika ? eka dAsAnudAsa kI aisI spardhA ? eka barbara pazutulya kSudra sevaka ko kyA adhikAra ki vaha mere yogya manamohaka saMgIta ko suna kara mugdha ho ? ApA taka bisAra de, mujhe bhulA de, merI AjJA taka kI avahelA kara de ?' zaiyApAla kA~patA-tharatharAtA bolA : 'svAmI, kyA karU~. mere kAnoM para merA kyA vaza hai ? pazu taka bhAna bhUla jAyeM, aisA thA vaha saMgIta / lAcArI ko kSamA kareM mahArAja * * * mere kAnoM se bhArI aparAdha ho gayA * * !' 'oha, eka dAsa ke kAna mere saMgIta kA AsvAda kareMge ? * * * trikhaNDAdhIza kA aisA apamAna ? are sevako, haTAo isa jAnavara ko mere sAmane se / lejA kara isake donoM kAnoM meM tapta sIse aura tAMbe kA rasa u~Dela do / merA vaza cale to, mere zravaNa-sukha kI spardhA karane vAle hara kAna kA maiM mUloccheda karavA dUM. . . !' __.. kahIM naipathya meM zaiyApAla ke kAnoM meM ubalate lAvA-sA pighalA huA sIsA aura tAMbA ur3elA jA rahA hai / ' : ' aura jAne kitane janmAntaroM ko pAra kara, usakI ve Arta krandana karatI cIkheM Aja mere tana ke pora-pora ko bIMdha rahI haiN| * *o bandhu zaiyApAla, kahA~ ho tuma isa ghar3I? Aja asahya hai mujhe tumhArI usa kSaNa kI vedanA / merI antazcetanA ke atala bheda kara vaha mujhe tilamilA gayI hai| . . 'Ao mere priya zaiyApAla, suno merI vAta, kinnaroM ke saMgIta aba maiM nahIM sunatA / sakala carAcara kI nAr3iyoM kA saMgIta aba mere antara-zravaNa meM pravAhita hai / jAno bandhu, prANi mAtra ke sarvakAla ke sAre pApa-aparAdhoM kA uttaradAyI maiM huuN| tamAma itihAsa ke ArapAra, pramatta sattA-sampadA-svAmiyoM ne jo dInadalita, abala-asahAyoM para valAtkAra kiye haiM, unakA ekAgra AropI maiM hU~ / tumhArA aura sarva kA cira janmoM kA aparAdhI maiM hU~ / mujhe pahacAno mere bAndhava,

Page #222
212 sRSTi kA ekameva abhiyukta maiM, varddhamAna mahAvIra, yahA~ tumhArI pratIkSA meM huuN| tumhArA jI cAhA daNDa jhelane ko udyata, prastuta / ... kevala niSkampa bhAva se samarpita, kAyotsarga meM visita khar3A huuN| jo sammukha Aye, usake prati utsargita , aura koI vikalpa yA kriyA sambhava nahIM rahI hai isa kSaNa / hara pariNamana ko kevala dekha rahA hU~, suna rahA huuN| kevala mAtra apanI cikriyA meM lavalIna, anya sArI kriyAoM kA nipaTa sAkSI, draSTA / sahasA hI sunAyI par3I eka gvAle kI AvAz2a : 'devArya, mere ye baila Apake nikaTa hI cara rahe haiN| ina para nigAha rakkheM / gA~va meM apanI gAyeM duhane jA rahA huuN| thor3I dera meM lauTa aauuNgaa|' sunA bhI nahIM, anasunA bhI nahIM kiyaa| maiM apanI jagaha para hU~ : baila apanI jagaha para haiM / niraMkuza baila jAne kaba carate-carate, bahuta dUra nikala gaye, aura kahIM jhAr3iyoM kI oTa ho gaye / gvAle ne jaba lauTa kara bailoM ko yahA~ nahIM dekhA, to bolA : 'devArya, mere baila kahA~ cale gaye ? Apako sauMpa gayA thA na ? kaI bAra pUchane para bhI gvAle ko koI uttara nahIM milA / vaha bhabhaka uTha : 'are o adhama sAdhu, uttara taka nahIM detA ! mAnuSa hai ki patthara ?' phira bhI koI uttara nahIM lauttaa| anuttara hai yaha sAdhu, patthara se bhI adhika avicala / 'are o jogar3e, tere ye kAna haiM, ki kIr3oM ke bila haiM ? sunatA taka nahIM re narAdhama ! bola mere bailoM ko kahA~ chupA diyA hai tene ?' sAdhu parvata se bhI adhika nizcala, havA se bhI adhika lAparvAha dIkhA / kevala kAna se to vaha sunatA nhiiN| tana ke tAra-tAra se sunatA hai / sAre praznoM kA eka hI uttara hai, mAno usakI vaha anuttrtaa| 'acchA, Thahara duSTa, tere kAna ke kIr3e abhI nikAla bAhara karatA hU~ ! . . . ' nAkucha samaya meM hI gvAlA kahIM se kAsa kI eka salAI tor3a lAyA / usake do Tukar3e kiye| phira nipaTa nirdaya bhAva se usane zramaNa ke donoM kAnoM meM ve salAiyA~ behicaka khoMsa dii| taduparAnta patthara uThA kara unheM donoM ora se ThoMkane lagA / jaba donoM salAiyoM ke chora bhItara eka dUsare se bhir3a gaye, to jo salAiyoM ke sire bAhara raha gaye the, unheM darA~te se kATa diyA, tAki unheM koI nikAla na pAye / taba usane rAhata kI sAMsa lii|

Page #223
213 phira vaha cupacApa santuSTa bhAva se khar3A raha kara zramaNa kI vedanA kA Ananda lene ko udyata huA / 'are, isake to kAna para jUM taka nahIM reNgii| * AdamI hai ki jAnavara ? aisI pIr3A se to jAnavara bhI cIkha uThe / patthara kahIM kA / patthara se bhI badatara / ' gvAlA matimUr3ha, stabdha ho rahA / kaise isa duSTa ko daNDita kare / mAra DAlatA to tatkAla chuTakArA pA jAtA yaha duSTa / 'para nahIM' cAhatA hU~, yaha antahIna pIr3A bhogatA rahe / tila-tila jala kara mre| lekina jalana aura maraNa kI kauna kahe, aise dAruNa zalyavedha se bhI, isakA eka roMyA taka nahIM kA~pA ? Azcarya ! " - gvAle kI samajha - buddhi guma ho gayI / usakA krodha parAkASThA para pahu~ca kara. ApoApa qhAmoza ho gayA / use apanI sthiti para acambhA huA : 'are yaha ho kyA gayA hai mujhe ? isa patthara se TakarA kara maiM bhI patthara ho gayA kyA ? ' gumasuma nirvicAra cupacApa vaha apane bailoM kI khoja meM jaMgala kI ora cala par3A / para usake jI meM yaha kaisI khaTaka hai ? caine nahIM *! ArapAra bidhe ina zalyoM kI pIr3A sahI nahIM jaatii| kahI nahIM jAtI / dekha rahA hU~. tana kI sahanazakti kA atikramaNa kara vaha apAra ho gayI hai / jAna par3atA hai. tana kI sImA ko lA~gha kara vaha jAne kahA~ vilaya pA gayI hai / tapta sIse aura tA~be ke rasa kI apekSA zAyada vaha kama par3a gayI hai / isI se, lagatA hai. mere zravaNoM ko vaha paryApta kaSTa na de pAne ke kAraNa vyartha ho gayI hai / bhAI gvAle kI AtmA ke atala meM bidhA baMra kA vaha zUla maiMne dekha liyA thA / so anta taka cupa rahA, niruttara rahA, isIliye ki usake kaSAya kA vaha kA~TA AmUla ucaTa kara bAhara A jAye, manacAhA kaSTa mujhe dekara, usakA hRdaya kisI taraha niSkaMTaka ho jAye / cAhA ki vaha zUla mere kAnoM ke ArapAra biMdha kara, usa bandhu kI AtmA meM se sadA ko nirgata ho jAye / para, kyA use caina par3A ? vaha to aura bhI becaina, parezAna, khoyA-bhaTakA dIkha rahA hai| baila to mila gaye use, jAne kaba ke / para usake jI meM jo khaTaka hai, use kaise dUra karU~ ? - yaha zalyavedha jo anukSaNa mere mastaka ke ArapAra jArI hai, zAyada eka hada ke bAda mere prANa hara kara, usakI pIr3A hara le / ' 'lekina prANa de dene kI chuTTI mujhe kahA~ hai ? koI kisI ke prANa le nahIM sakatA, apane prANa de nahIM sakatA / yaha khyAla mAtra hI mithyA - darzana hai, bhrAnta cintana hai / mArane aura marane ke nimitta mAtra banate haiM hama / isa vyApAra ko apane 'maiM' se jor3a kara, hama isa mithyA ahaMkAra se duHkha hI baTora pAte haiM, niSkrAnta nahIM ho sakate / mahAsattA meM mRtyu kA astitva hI nahIM / yaha jIvana kA svabhAva nahIM, ki hama yA aura koI usakA ghAta kara sake / pAnI kI dhArA ko apanI talavAra

Page #224
214 se kATane kA ahaMkAra hama bhale hI kara leM / para haqIqata kucha aura hI hai / apane hI prANa se palAyana kara hama jAyeMge kahAM ? - lekina isa zalyavedha kI vedanA se sampUrNa gujare binA to nistAra nahIM / ise anta taka saha kara hI to isako jItA jA sakatA hai| isase niSkrAnta huA jA sakatA hai | vedanA aura mRtyu ko sampUrNa saMcetA se jI kara hI to use jAnA jA sakatA hai / use nakAra kara nahIM, svIkAra karake hI use jaya kiyA jA sakatA hai / isI taraha usake mUla srota taka pahu~ca kara, usake aura usake pare ke satya ko sAkSAt kiyA jA sakatA hai| so samarpita bhAva se isa pIr3A ko sahana kara rahA hU~ / isa vedanA kI pratyeka kasaka, aiMThana, maror3a aura mArakatA ko apane aNu-aNu meM kAma karate ekAgra bhAva se dekha rahA hU~ / yAtanA aura mRtyu kA nizcala bhAva se nirantara sAkSAtkAra hI isa ghar3I mere dhyAna kA eka mAtra viSaya raha gayA hai / para jo dhyAtA ise dhyA rahA hai, dekha rahA hai, isakA sAmanA kara rahA hai, vaha kauna hai ? 'ghara chor3e Aja bAraha varSa ho gaye / kabhI ghara ke sAye, surakSA yA mA~ kA khyAla taka nahIM AyA / para mahAvedanA ke isa carama ekAkIpana meM, hara kasaka ke sAtha mA~ kA vaha vatsala mukhar3A, AMkhoM meM jhUla jAtA hai| oThoM taka se phUTa par3A hai : 'mA~' mA~ mA~ mA~ mA~, tuma kahA~ tuma kauna ho ? lekina tuma bhI to apanI deha kI svAminI nahIM / tuma bhI to pIr3A aura mRtyu ke sammukha avaza ho / ' .. ho taba apane Apa ko chor3a kara aura zaraNa kahA~ hai: ? mA~ hai kevala vahI N ''At* 'mA! AtmA jo nirantara apane sAtha abhI aura yahA~ hai| * caraiveti, caraiveti, caraiveti / yahI to eka mAtra sva-bhAva hai merA / so calAcala rahA hU~ / vedanA apanI jagaha para cala rahI hai, maiM apanI jagaha para cala rahA hU~ / madhya apApA nagarI AyA hU~ / siddhArtha vaNika ke dvAra para A kara bhikSA ke liye aMjuli pasAra dI hai| usake harSa kA pAra nahIM / vipula kezara, mevA, drAkSa se madhura aura sugandhita payasa usane mere karapAtra meM DhAla diyA hai| usake ghUMTa kaNTha se nIce utArane meM jo kaSTa ho rahA hai, vaha pAsa hI khar3e zreSThi ke parama mitra kharaka vaidya ne lakSya kara liyA / vicakSaNa prANAcArya ne apane mitra siddhArtha ke kAna meM kahA : 'mitra, ye sarvAMga sundara bhagavanta vedanA se vyAkula aura mlAna dIkha rahe haiM / yaha zalya-pIr3A kA lakSaNa hai / zalya se biddha hai saundarya kI yaha mUrti / '

Page #225
215 siddhArtha zreSThi ne trasta hokara kharaka vaidya se anurodha kiyA ki vaha zramaNa . ke zarIra kI parIkSA kara nidAna kare ki unake zarIra meM kisa jagaha yaha zalya bhidA huA hai| * zramaNa hAtha khIMca kara kAyotsagita ho gayA hai / usakA deha-bhAna calA gayA hai| avicala sumeru kI taraha, AjAnu bhujAe~ lambAyamAna kara vaha stambhita khar3A raha gayA hai| kharaka vaidya ne bar3I nipuNatA se sUkSmatA pUrvaka usake zarIra ke pratyeka aMga aura avayava kI parIkSA kii| taba zramaNa ke donoM kAnoM meM Thuke zUloM para usakI dRSTi aTaka gayI / kharaka ne siddhArtha ko ve zulabiddha zravaNa dikhaaye| hAhAkAra kara uThA siddhArtha / 'mitra kharaka, turanta tU aisA upAya kara, ki ye sukumAra prabhu, kisI mahA pApAtmA duSTa dvArA diye gaye isa dAruNa duHkha se mukta ho skeN| zalya to ina bhagavanta ke zravaNoM meM bhidA hai, para inakI pIr3A se merA sArA zarIra aiMThA jA rahA hai / zIghra ina jagatpati bhagavAna ko, tU isa asahya kaSTa se mukta kara, AyuSyamAn / ' "mitra siddhArtha, ye prabhu to eka bAragI hI isa samasta vizva kA kSaraNa aura rakSaNa karane meM samartha haiM / para apane hI bA~dhe karmoM kA kSaraNa karane ke liye, ina arhat ne apane apakArI puruSa ko bhI kSamA kara diyA hai / apane karmakSaya ke liye, svecchatayA inhoMne isa prANahArI vedanA kA bhI varaNa kara liyA hai| apanI hI deha kI jisane upekSA kara dI hai, usakI cikitsA karane meM maiM kaise samartha ho sakatA hU~ ? vaha to nirA dambha aura ahaMkAra hogA, mitra !' tarka-yukti karane kA samaya nahIM hai, AyuSyamAn / mujhe prANAntaka vedanA ho rahI hai / tU tatkAla ina bhagavanta ko zalya-mukta kara, tAki maiM jIvita raha sakU / ' jhalaka rahA hai mere bhItara : yaha zalya-pIr3A kevala merI hI nahIM raha sakI hai / siddhArtha meM saMkramita ho kara, vaha jaise prANi mAtra meM vyApatI jA rahI hai / isake sarjaka gvAle ko bhI caina nhiiN| * * vahI ho, jisase sabakI zalya-pIr3A dUra ho, saba ko sAtA mile / - - - maiM cupacApa cala pdd'aa| zAlmalI -udyAna meM apane sthAna para pahu~ca kara padmAsana meM dhyAnastha ho rahA / * 'kucha hI dera bAda dikhAyI par3A : siddhArtha aura kharaka vaidya Avazyaka auSadhi-upacAra ke sAdhana le kara udyAna meM daur3e Aye haiN| mere zarIra ko padmAsana meM hI jyoM kA tyoM uThA kara eka tela kI kuNDI meM baiThA diyA gayA hai| pratyeka aMgAMga meM tela kA abhyaMgana kiyA gayA hai / balavAna mardana karane vAle mardakoM ne merI deha ke cappe-cappe kA bar3I mRdutA se mardana kiyA hai| isa prakAra mere zarIra ke pratyeka sA~dhe ko zithila kara diyA gayA hai| phira do vyaktiyoM ne zalya-ucchedaka saMDAsiyA~ le kara, donoM kAnoM ke zUloM para pakar3a baiThA kara, eka sAtha unheM pUrI zakti se khiiNcaa| * * usa kSaNa barabasa hI mere mukha se eka bhayaMkara cIkha nikala par3I / aisI vedanA kI anubhUti huI, jaise koI vajrabANa brahmANDa ke hRdaya ko bheda kara mere ArapAra nikala gayA ho| . .

Page #226
216 apanI cIkha ko dabAne kI kama ceSTA nahIM kI maiMne / laga rahA thA, ki yaha cIkha yadi parAkASThA para phUTegI, to triloka ke sakala carAcara prANI isase ghAyala ho par3eMge / para eka hada ke bAda mere vaza kA kyA thaa| merI yaha vedanA sRSTi ke asaMkhya jIvAtmAoM meM vyApe binA na raha skii| . . __ zUla nikala kara sAmane A pdd'e| donoM zravaNoM se khUna ke phavvAre phUTa nikle| * * 'janmAntaroM ke bAda eka apUrva rAhata anubhava huI / mere zravaNoM se phUTate rakta kI dhArA meM, kaI bhavAntaroM pUrva zaiyApAla ke kAnoM meM mere dvArA DhalavAyA gayA tapta sIse aura tAMbe kA rasa, samUcA bAhara baha AyA / * * 'niHzalya ho gaye, mitra, zayyApAla ? * * *aura anAdyanta itihAsa ke o jAne kitane zaiyApAlo, kyA tuma sabhI niHzalya ho sake ? mahAvIra ko kSamA kara sake tuma ? nahIM jAnatA / * * para lagatA hai, merI cetanA jAne kitanI jAnIanajAnI jaMjIroM aura zUliyoM se mukta ho kara, kisI carama-parama samAdhi meM DUbI jA rahI hai / ... * * dekha rahA hU~, apane bAndhava usa gvAle ko| kucha dera pahale taka vaha eka abUjha becainI se chaTapaTA rahA thA / aba vaha apane A~gana kI nIma-chA~va meM, bekhaTaka ho kara gaharI nidrA meM nimajjita ho gayA hai| use laga rahA hai, ki sukha kI aisI nIMda kA jvAra aura qhamAra to usakI A~khoM meM pahale kabhI nahIM AyA thaa| nIMda meM hI vaha svapnastha zizu kI taraha muskurA AyA hai| anAgAra hokara vihAra karate hI, pahale dina jagata ke eka gopAla kA hI to aparAdhI huA thA / saMsAra ke aneka vidha duHkha-saMtrAsoM kI parikramA karake, bAraha varSa bAda phira zAyada usI bindu para lauTA hU~, jahA~ se vizva-yAtrA para mahAprasthAna kiyA thaa| aura phira se jagata ke eka aura, zAyada antima gopAla kA aparAdha mujhase huaa|aise antahIna maulika aparAdhI ko jagata meM kauna kSamA kara sakatA hai ? / para itanA isa kSaNa z2arUra laga rahA hai, ki mere aura saba ke usa maulika aparAdha kA unmocana, isa muhUrta meM huA hai / aura hama saba ne eka dUsare ko aura apane Apa ko kSamA kara diyA hai / pratIti ho rahI hai, antataH yahA~ koI kisI kA aparAdhI nahIM, aura koI kisI ko kSamA karane samartha meM nahIM / hama svayam hI apane-apane aparAdhI haiM, aura kevala hama svayam hI apane ko kSamA kara sakate haiM / ___ * 'vaizAkha kI prakhara madhyAhna belA meM, vAyuvega se vihAra karatA huA, apanI hI sanmukha chAyA kA, Apa hI atikramaNa karatA huA, magadha ke sImAnta meM praveza kara gayA hU~ /

Page #227
bhagavAna nahIM, manuSya cAhiye 'mA~' * * !' 'At . - 'mA!' Aha, yaha kaisA zUla merI chAtI ke ArapAra ho gayA, haThAt isa AdhI rAta meM / deza aura kAla ko bheda kara kisane mujhe pukArA hai, madhya-rAtri ke isa zUnyAMzI muhUrta meM : 'mA~' * * !' 'At. - 'mA!' samaya kI dhArA thama gaI hai| kevala trAsa kI eka cIkha antahIna ho gaI hai| loka ke sAre astitva isa pukAra meM kho kara tadAkAra ho gaye haiM / __ yaha to tumhArI AvAz2a hai, varddhamAna ! mere mAna, mere kaleje ke ttukdd'e| ise pahacAnane meM kaise bhUla ho sakatI hai| saba kucha ko bhUla kara, kevala tumheM hI to yAda rakha sakI hU~, kevala tumheM / beTA, yaha kyA ho gayA hai tumheM ? tumhAre vajra ko bheda kara koI tumheM pIr3ita kara sake, aisI sattA to, sattA meM tumane kisI kI rahane nahIM dii| sAre prahAra, atyAcAra, saMtrAsa, vadha tumhArI svIkRti ke bhikhArI aura zaraNArthI ho kara rahe gye| phira tumheM, tumheM, tumheM koI aisA prahAra de, ki tuma cIqha uTho, pukAra uTho, kaise vizvAsa karUM? para AvAz2a spaSTa hI tumhArI hai, mAna, aura merA supta garbha ekAeka phaTA hai, bhara nIMda meM, isa nistabdha rAtri ke sannATe meM / ise jhuThalAnA mere vaza kA nhiiN| ise vyantara-mAyA kaha kara TAla nahIM skuuNgii| kyoM ki koI mAyA, koI chala tumhAre aura mere bIca nahIM khela sktaa| apane sAtha mujhe itanI tadAkAra karake chor3a gaye ho ki, ki tumhAre usa satya meM mithyA kI aisI koI darAra paidA ho sake, yaha sambhava hI nahIM hai| tumheM lekara jo vichoha kI vyathA bhItara Aja bhI subaka rahI hai, vaha bhI tumhAre pyAra aura karuNA ke atirikta aura kucha kabhI laga nahIM skii| aisI saghana ekAtmatA ko jagata kA koI bhI tIra kaise cIra sakatA hai ?

Page #228
218 * * *para chAtI merI cira gaI hai, garbha merA daraka gayA hai| aura koI carama tIkSNatA mere pora-pora ke pAra ho gaI hai, ise kaise jhuThalAU~ ? merI aMtima gopanatA chinna-bhinna ho kara mere sAmane nagna A par3I hai| yaha kaisA khuna kA favvArA mere atala meM se phUTa par3A hai| ye kaise A~sU merI godI meM uphana rahe haiN| itane antima aura anivAra haiM ye, ki inheM rokanA aura sahalAnA mere vaza kA nahIM / varddhamAna, yaha kha na, ye AMsU tumhAre sivAya aura kisI ke nahIM ho sakate / kyoM ki ye antima haiM, antahIna haiM / ye nirAdhAra aura nirAlamba haiM / apane hI Apa meM sArthaka aura samApta haiN| * * para ye itane mere apane aura atyanta nijI laga rahe haiM, ki inheM tumhAre kaha kara apane se alaga kaise karU~ ? itanI virATa aura carama hai yaha raktadhArA aura azrudhArA, ki mAno hara kAla aura deza ke hara jIva kI AtmA meM se yaha bahI calI A rahI hai| 'priyakAriNI trizalA, isI kSaNa ke liye tumheM yaha nAma prApta huA thaa| isI kSaNa ke lie tuma janmI aura mAM huIM thIM, ki tumhArA garbha antima rUpa se vidIrNa ho kara eka dina kisI ayonija sRSTi kA dvAra ho jAye ! . . . so jAo, priyakAriNI, tumhAre sivAya kahIM aura kucha nahIM hai| tumhIM ne apane Apa ko, apane Atmaja ko qatla kiyA hai, Aja kI rAta / * aisA hatyArA mahAvIra ke sivAya aura kauna ho sakatA hai ? vaha, jo Apa hI hI mAratA hai, Apa hI maratA hai| * *aura saba mAyA hai, mA~ * * * !' 'At* * *mA !' __ mA~ ko pukAra kara bhI, tumane use pare Dhakela diyA, beTA ? soca meM par3I thI ki yaha dUsarI AvAz2a kise pukAra rahI hai ! yaha mere sivAya dUsarI kauna mA~ hai-At : 'maa| tumhArI pIr3A se bar3I ho kara uTha rahI thI, yaha iirssyaa| * * 'aba samajhI, mujhe nakAra kara tumane apanI hI AtmA ko pukArA antata : / * * IrSyA kA AdhAra pA kara, terI yaha mA~ apane pyAra ko vyakta karane kA mAdhyama pA gaI thii| vaha bhI dekara tumane chIna liyaa| tumhArI nirmamatA kA anta nahIM / tumhArI mamatA kA anta nahIM / tumane antima rUpa se mujhe apane se alaga kara diyA / tumane antima rUpa se mujhe apane meM miTA diyA / phira bhI eka dUsare zarIra meM jiye cale jAne ko tumane mujhe lAcAra kyoM chor3A ? ___gopana aura graMthi kA mocana hone para kaise jiyA jAye ? jIvana kA rahasya hI nagna nirAvaraNa ho gyaa| isa nagnatA ko kaise shuuN| mRtyu meM bhI anta nahIM mere lie ? use AliMgana meM lekara jInA hogA !

Page #229
219 aura yaha zUla ? kisane isase tumheM bIMdha kara, merA yonivedha kiyA hai ? * * *oha kaise bhayAnaka, krUra ho tuma ? apane aura mere hatyAre ke rUpa meM tumhIM khilakhilAte hue sAmane A khar3e hue ho ! aba bhI tumhArA bacapana gayA nahIM, mAna? vahI khilAr3I rUpa, vahI lIlA-khela / socA thA, aba to tuma gahana gambhIra ho gaye hoNge| para .. 'kauna ? varddhamAna ? tuma yahA~ kaise ?' 'maiM siddhArtha, trizalA ! * - yaha tumheM kyA ho gayA hai ?' 'tuma kyoM Aye ? kisane bulAyA tumheM ?' 'tumhArI cIkha suna kara AyA, trizA ? aisI cIkha to tumhArI kabhI munI nhiiN|' __ 'maiM cIkhU yA marUM, mujhe tumhArI z2arUrata nhiiN|' 'zAnta, priyakAriNI, zAnta / ' 'tumheM merI cIqha aura pIr3A adhika priya hai| maiM nahIM / varddhamAna gayA, usa dina ke bAda se, tumheM merI koI cAha nahIM rahI / phira tuma kevala merI qhAtira mere pAsa kabhI nahIM aaye| merI sisakiyA~ suna kara, merI pIr3A aura ghAva ko sahalAne z2arUra aaye| nahIM, mujhe tumhAre jhUThe dilAse nahIM cAhiye / maiM apane lie kAphI hU~ / ' : 'jAo vahIM, jahA~ tumhArA beTA gayA hai !' 'rAnI-mA~, tumhI nahIM, to aura kauna samajhegA mujhe ? varddhamAna se var3ha kara aura kauna sA prema hamAre bIca ho sakatA hai ?' 'prANAdhika ho kara bhI, koI beTA, merI apanI AtmA se bar3A nahIM ho sakatA / kyA varddhamAna mere kahane se rukA ? mujhe rotI-kalapatI chor3a kara apanI AtmA kI khoja meM vaha calA gayA / merI bhI apanI AtmA hai, aura vaha hara kisI se svataMtra hai / ' 'vahI to mahAvIra hai| tumhArI parama svtNtrtaa| hara AtmA kI apanI svAdhIna sttaa|' 'mujhe upadeza nahIM sunnaa| apanI pIr3A mujhe usase adhika priya hai|' 'prANa, merI AtmA ! * . .' 'maiM kisI kI prANa aura AtmA nahIM / kevala apanA prANa, apanI AtmA huuN|' 'itanI nirmama to tuma kabhI na huI, priyakAriNI !'

Page #230
220 '.. 'merI chAtI para se hAtha haTA lo / merA jakhma tumhAre sahalAvoM aura pucakAroM kA kAyala nahIM !' _ 'tuma kucha budabadAI thauM, cIkhane ke bAda : 'Aha, yaha kaisA zUla merI chAtI ke pAra ho gayA * * * !'--kahA~ hai vaha zUla, kauna sA zUla?-bolo tRzA. mujhe dUra na tthelo| aba adhika jIne vAlA nahIM hU~...' maiMne unake bolate oThoM ko U~galiyoM se dAba diyA / 'nAtha, aisA na kaho / mana se to baTe ke mahAbhiniSkramaNa kI rAta hI tuma mujhe tyAga cuke the| para A~khoM ke sAmane raho merI / bahuta akiMcana ho gayI hU~ 'tumheM tyAga kara kahA~ jAU~gA ? para tumheM le sakane kI merI sAmarthya hI usa sA~jha samApta ho gayI / bahuta, bahuta bar3I lagI tuma usa rAta / - tumhArI subakatI chAtI para rakkhA merA hAtha tharatharA rahA thaa| tumhAre usa rudana ko roka na sakA, khuda hI usameM gala kara baha gayA / ' 'nahIM, tumheM bahane nahIM dUMgI / para mere rudana kA anta nhiiN| lagatA hai, ki isa chAtI meM sArI sRSTi kA Arta prANa sisaka rahA hai| para para. mere kinAre bana kara raho / tAki jagata kAyama raha sake, tAki astitva jArI raha ske| maiM pahale jagata ko hU~, astitva kI hU~, mokSa kI nhiiN| tumhAre beTe kA mokSa, mujhe samA nahIM skegaa| samudra kI sArthakatA isI meM hai ki vaha bAdaloM meM ghire, phira barasa kara nadI bne| aura jaba pAgala-vikala nadI daur3atI huI usake AliMgana meM A par3e, to vaha dhanya ho jAye !' 'o merI nadI, tumhIM mujhe samudratva detI ho| phira mere khArepana ko tumhI madhura banAtI ho| tuma na Ao merI bA~hoM meM, to merI uttAla taraMgoM kA kyA artha? merI virATatA kevala tumheM sameTa kara sArthaka ho sakatI eka gahare Adima mauna meM, samudra nadI ko bA~dhane kA viphala prayatna karatA rahA / rAnI, bar3A bhayAnaka sapanA dekhA maiMne !' 'merA lAlU to surakSita hai na ? bolo, jaldI bolo|' 'eka zUla mere donoM kAnoM ke ArapAra bhida kara, merI rIr3ha ko vedhatA calA gyaa| merI mUtra-nalikA meM tIra kI taraha sanasanAtA huA, mere mUlAdhAra ke pAra ho gyaa|' '.. aura phira merI chAtI ko ArapAra vedha gayA !'

Page #231
221 'aura tabhI tuma cIkha uThIM ?' 'maiM nahIM cIkhI, merA garbha vidIrNa ho kara cIkha utthaa| merA lAla merA beTA, merI chAtI kA Tukar3A / use kucha ho gayA hai jarUra ! ' ke vakSa para Dhalaka kara bilabilA uThI / aura maiM uTha kara apameM svAmI mujhe sahalAte hue ve dhIre-se bole : ' lagA to mujhe bhI aisA hI, rAnI / para aba taka jo udanta usake upasargoM hamane sune haiM, usake bAda aba jagata kA kaunasA zUla mahAvIra kI prANahAni kara sakatA hai ? ' 'jAnatI hU~, use mArane vAlI sattA pRthvI para nahIM janmI / para jo pIr3ana usane aba taka jhele haiM, usake Age kA koI aura pIr3ana bhI to ho sakatA hai ? ' ' caNDakauzika ke daMza kyA kama the ? zalapANi yakSa ke dAnavIya paMjoM se kauna jItA nikala sakatA thA ? aura saMgama deva ne kauna-sA tAsa use nahIM diyA ? usakI zirAoM meM khUna nahIM, bicchU bahe / usakI aMtar3iyoM meM pralaya ke samudra dha~se / vyAghroM aura madonmatta hAthiyoM ne use rauMdA, usake eka-eka avayava ko phAr3a diyA / phira bhI usakI sukumAra kAyA ke jakhma hI naye kamaloM kI taraha khila kara, usake zarIra ko aura bhI taruNa aura tarotAjA banA gye| hara pIr3ana aura prahAra usake zarIra ko adhika akhaNDa, adhika aghAtya banAtA calA gayA / 'so to apanI godI ke gaharAvoM meM jyoM kA tyoM sahA, aura pratyakSa anubhava kiyA hai / usake sAtha hI jaise mRtyu ke jabar3oM meM gaI hU~, aura usakI amRta lekara lauTI aMjuli ne hara bAra mujhe mAno nayA amRta-sA pilAyA hai / para yaha ghaTanA usake Age kI lagatI hai / kAraNa 'kyA kAraNa ?' 've sAre upasarga devI mAyA the / use AkrAnta aura bhayabhIta karake bhI usakI deha ke Thosa pudgala ko nahIM bheda sake the / para Aja pahalI bAra lagA ki, Thosa pudgala manuSya ke Tosa pudgala zUla ne, mere beTe ke mAnavIya rakta-mAMsa ko vidAra diyA hai| ' aura aura vaha cIkha uThA hai ! ' 'lekina, tRzA, kyA lAr3ha aura vajrabhUmi ke mAnuSa-bhakSI mlecchoM ne usa para khUkhAra kutte nahIM chor3e ? kyA una kuttoM ne usakI piMDaliyoM aura jAMghoM ke Thosa mAMsa nahIM kATa girAye ? kyA AryoM ke madhura rakta-mAMsa ke bhUkhe-pyAse una barbaroM ne usakI Thosa boTiyA~ cabA-cabA kara apanI cira kAla kI Arta IrSyA aura tRSNA

Page #232
222 ? ko nahIM bhunAyA 'kyA ku~e meM DAla kara usakI Tosa haDiDayoM ko pattharoM para nahIM pachAr3A gayA ? kitane hI rAjyoM ke caroM aura sipAhiyoM ne use cora aura mujarima samajha kara apane cAbukoM se usake camar3e nahIM utAre ? Thosa mAnuSI paMjoM Thosa manuSya mahAvIra ko phAr3a khAne meM kyA kamI rkkhii| para taba to usakI cIkha tumheM kabhI na sunAI par3I, devI ! mujhe to lagatA hai ki, mahAvIra z2akhma aura cIkha se Age jA cukA, tRzA / ' 'nahIM maiM kisI dhokhe meM nahIM hU~, devatA / yaha usakA antima jakhma aura antima cIkha hai / usake prANa 'azubha na bolo, devI / hama donoM hI kisI mAyA ke kucakra meM par3a gaye haiM / hama bhrama meM haiM / mahAvIra nahIM, tuma cIkhIM, rAnI ! tumhArI AvAz2a maiMne sApha sunI hai / ' / 'nahIM' 'nahIM' 'nahIM / tuma nahIM samajhoge / suno, phira suno vaha cIqha ! 'dekho vaha havA meM gUMja rahI hai / merA garbha cIqhA, merI chAtI visphoTita huI, merA vizva-samrATa, akhilezvara beTA cIkha uThA / manuSya kI hiMsA, pazu, rAkSasa, deva sabase adhika bhayaMkara hotI hai / Aja manuSya ke antima hiMsaka beTe ne manuSya ke carama zarIrI beTe para AkhirI prahAra kiyA hai ." 'tuma to kisI avadhijJAnI aura mana:paryayajJAnI kI taraha bola rahI ho, devI ! ' 1 'kevalajJAnI kI taraha kyoM nahIM ? merI yoni bola rahI hai / maiM nahIM / kyoMki vaha biddha ho cukI / vaha jAna lI gaI / usakA bheda khula gayA / vaha jIta lI gaI antima rUpa se / kisa kevalajJAna se kama hai, usakI yaha cIqha, usakI yaha parama vedanA ! eka gaMbhIra sannATA hamAre bIca abhedya ho rahA / 'mujhe kucha nahIM samajha rahA, tRzA / mujhe Azvasta karo, rAnI- mA~ / ' 'tumhArA beTA, aba mauta se Age jA cukA / jAo, nizcita ho kara soo, mere nAtha ! ' 'lekina usakA zarIra ?' 'usakA zarIra siddha aura amartya ho gayA / ' 'samajhA nahIM maiM? zarIra kA svabhAva nahIM amaratA / 'mahAvIra ke lie kucha azakya nahIM ! 'matalaba ?'

Page #233
223 'yahI ki eka zarIra se use mamatva nahIM / kyoM ki vaha ananta zarIroM meM apane ko raca aura miTA sakatA hai / vaha eka sAtha asaMkhya piNDoM meM krIr3A karegA. . . !' ___ sunA nahIM aisA kbhii| kisI kevalI ne aisA kabhI nahIM khaa| koI trikAlajJAnI, triloka-pati bhI aisA dAvA nahIM kara sakA / ' 'kAla aura lAka tIna para qhatma nahIM / ananta haiM ve / aura mahAvIra kI bhRkuTi meM ve apane nita naye AyAma khola rahe haiM, rAjana' 'kahA~ hai vaha isa kSaNa ?' 'jahA~ usake sivAya aura koI nahIM !' / 'triloka aura trikAla se bAhara kahIM ?' 'apane Apa meM / apane sva-samaya meM, apane sva-deza meM / jahA~ sAre dezakAla mAtra usake Atma-pariNamana kI taraMgeM ho kara raha gaye haiN|' 'kevalajJAnI mahAvIra huA ho yA nahIM Aja kI rAta, tuma z2arUra vaha ho gaI ho, rAnI !' 'jJAna se merA kyA lenA-denA ? maiM hU~ nirI samvedanA, 'dra anubhti| nipaTa naarii|' 'mA~ * * *!' 'At * * *mA !' kaba kitanI dUra taka ve mere bhItara Aye, aura jAne kaba kahA~, kisa para pAra meM utara gaye, patA hI na cala sakA / basa, eka samudra ko apane bhItara ghaharAtA anubhava karatI rhii| aura sahasA hI vaha stabdha ho gayA / aba merI zaiyA phUla-sI halakI hokara, antarikSa meM taira rahI hai| itanI sArthaka to vaha pahale kabhI na huii| usa rAta bhI nahIM, jaba tuma garbha meM Aye the, mAna ! sUnA hai, tIrthakara kI mA~ dubArA garbha dhAraNa nahIM krtii| para kitanA jvalanta hai yaha ahasAsa, ki Aja maiMne dubArA garbha dhAraNa kiyA hai / tInoM loka aura tInoM kAla merI kokha kI sIpI meM tarala muktAphala kI taraha taira rahe haiN| eka motI ke bhItara, asaMkhya motI haiN| aura hara motI ke bhItara ananta kA samudra hilore mAra rahA hai| kitanI vicitra hai yaha anubhUti ! eka naye hI loka kA janma hone ko hai| usakI prasava-pIr3A ko sahane ke

Page #234
224 lie yaha eka zarIra kama par3a rahA hai| mere hara roMye meM se eka naye zarIra kA aMkura phuTa rahA hai| koI aisA zarIra, jisameM zuddha caitanya kI taraMga hI mAno AkRta aura piNDIbhUta ho rahI ho / - haThAt yaha kaisA bijalI kA-sA khaTakA mere mastiSka meM huA / kisI bahuta UparI plaina se, bahuta nIce ke plaina para A par3I huuN| merI antarikSa meM taira rahI phUla-zaiyA, phira isa kamare kI Thosa pharza, chata aura dIvAroM ke bIca A par3I hai| kSaNa bhara pahale bhArahIna ho gayA merA zarIra phira bhArI aura sImita ho gayA hai| . . . mAna, usa dina tuma mujhe AkhirI viyoga de kara, bar3I nirmamatA se merA A~cala jhaTaka gaye the| kyA usase bhI tumhAre puruSa kA mokSArthI ahaMkAra tRpta na ho sakA ? jo Aja phira barasoM ke bAda, mere soye hue z2akhma ko cher3a kara tumane use naye sire se rauMdA aura matha DAlA hai| tumhAre lie yaha nirA khela ho sakatA hai, para mere lie yaha hara pala mRtyu se lar3a kara jIne kA saMgharSa hai| * are, kauna thI vaha, jo kSaNa bhara pahale mujha meM vidyullekhA-sI khela rahI thI, gahana meghamAlA-sI bola rahI thii| aba raha gaI hU~ phira se eka nipaTa akiMcana martya mAnavI nArI, eka Adi kAla kI virahiNI ramaNI aura mA~ / eka cira pyAsI, khaNDa-khaNDa darakatI dhrtii| aura usakI hara darAra meM abUjha andhakAra ke sivAya aura kucha bhI nahIM hai| isa rAta jaise pahalI bAra, tuma se antima rUpa se bichur3a gaI hU~, mAna / ina sAre barasoM meM tumhAre maraNAntaka upasargoM ke udanta Aye dina sunatI rahI huuN| cAhe jitanI hI vedanA aura cintA unase huI ho, para kahIM bhItara ke bhItara meM yaha pratIti aTala rahI ki, nahIM, mere mAna kA ghAta kara sake, aisI tAqata kabhI nahIM janmI, nahIM jnmegii| para, Aja ? isa madhya rAtri ke zUnya pala meM, vaha dharatI hI mere pairoM se kisI ne chIna lI hai| tumhAre sivAya aisI sAmarthya kisakI ho sakatI hai, jo tumhArI mA~ ko bedharatI kara de| - bAraha barasa ho gaye, tumhArA koI sapanA yA parachA~hIM taka dekha sakU~, yaha tumane sambhava na hone diyaa| itane asampRkta, itane nirAsakta ho kara gaye tuma, ki prakRti kA koI pudgala-paramANu tumhAre tana yA mana kI chApa grahaNa kara sake, yA tumhArI cetanA ko bina cAhe raMca bhI saMkramita kara sake, yaha zakya na ho sakA / aisI vItarAgatA, jo sAre lokAkAza meM chA kara raha gii| vaha isa antarikSa kI eka aura hI taha, sataha aura svabhAva bana gii| mAno ki saba-kucha ko isa qadara tuma apane bhItara antarlIna kara gaye, ki

Page #235
225 bAhara se usake sAtha koI alaga se sambandha yA yoga hI anAvazyaka ho gayA / taba tumhArI mA~ tumase bAhara kaise raha sakatI thI ? tumhArA sapanA dekhane yA jhalaka pAne ko vaha alaga kaise chUTa sakatI thI ? tumhAre mahAbhiniSkramaNa kI sandhyA meM, jaba lauTa kara nandyAvarta AI, to aisA lagA ki ghara nahIM lauTa sakI hU~, kisI ajAna videzI samudra-taTa ke ajanavI vIrAne meM A utarI hU~ / eka bheMkAra sUnepana meM saba kucha jaise paryavasAna pA gayA thA / nandyAvarta kA bhavya siMhatoraNa vijayArddha parvata ke kisI aise prakRta caTTAnI mahAdvAra-sA lagA thA, jisameM dha~sa kara koI ajJAta - nAma pracaNDa nadI, jAne kisa vijana kAntAra meM kho gaI hai / mahala kI sIr3hiyA~ mAno maiM nahIM car3hI, koI rahasIlI preta-chAyA una para apanI vicitra caraNachApeM chor3atI, kisI antahIna U~cAI ke nairjanya meM car3hatI calI gaI thI / mere kakSa ke kone meM khar3A ratnima dIpAdhAra kisI pAralaukika AtmA ke Akasmika AvirbhAva-sA bhayAvanA lagA / AtaMkita, romAMcita ho kara betahAzA bhAgatI huI jaba apanI zaiyA jAkara lur3haka par3I, to agale hI kSaNa jaise kAlA burkA or3he koI DAyana mujha para A TUTI aura usane mujhe samUcA daboca liyA / cIkhane ko huI, para mAre bhaya ke cIkha taka na nikala sakI / jaise do phaulAdI paMjoM ne mere kaNTha ko jakar3a liyA ho / bhaya aura mRtyu ke usa zaraNahIna chorAnta para merI cetanA sahasA hI stabdha ho gaI / eka jAmalI rezamIna pardA-sA simaTa gayA / aura dekhA ki jJAtR-khaNDa udyAna ke usa azoka vRkSa tale, sUryakAnta zilA para nispaMda khar3A dUdha-sA ujalA zizu, ekAeka muskurA diyA / usake prabhAmaNDala meM DUbatI sUrya kI antima kiraNa tale merI kokha kA kamala pUrA khila AyA, aura usameM tuma calate hI cale Aye / bhItara se bhI bhItara, tuma avirAma yAtrita the, aura merA bhItara adhika se adhikatara khula kara tumhArI pagacApoM ko jhelatA calA jA rahA thA / tumhAre hara uThate kadama ke sAtha, antardeza ke bhUgola meM khar3e durladhya parvatoM kI sA~kale jhanna jhanna kara TUTatI jA rahI thIM / itanI mukta, videha aura prAMjala ho gaI merI cetanA, ki jAne kaba maiM gaharI nidrA kI samAdhi meM sugandha-nidrita ho gaI / - kintu phira majha rAta ke pahara meM, svapna meM aisA anubhava huA ki jaise loka-zIrSa para se aucaka hI gira kara kisI ghora a~dhiyArI qhandaka meM lur3hakatI calI jA rahI huuN| mere mu~ha se cIkha phUTa pdd'ii| "taba hoza meM Akara pAyA thA, mAna, tumhAre bApU mere bahuta pAsa laTe haiM, aura apanI donoM premAkula bhujAoM meM mujhe samUcI sameTa kara pucakAra rahe haiM, Azvasta kara rahe haiN| unake bArambAra dulArane aura pUchane para bhI merA bola phUTa nahIM sakA thA / eka vidagdha garvIle mAna se mana itanA mUka ho gayA thA,

Page #236
226 ki apanI usa parama ekAkI vedanA ko maiM kisI ke bhI sAtha ba~TAne ko taiyAra na ho sakI / tumhAre bApU bahuta kAtara, vivhala hue / phUTa kara merI chAtI para lur3haka par3e / unheM DhA~panA to dUra, unheM chUne taka ko merI bA~ha na uTha skii| unheM AzvAsana dene kA upacAra bhI mujhe nirA mAyAcAra lagA / antima ekatA ke isa kinAre para kauna kisI ko AzvAsana de sakatA hai ! 'jJAtRkhaNDa udyAna se lauTane ke bAda kI usa sandhyA ke uparAnta ina bAraha varSoM meM phira kabhI tumhAre bApU kevala mujhI se milane mere pAsa na Aye / usa rAta bhI merI cIqha para hI Aye the / aura bAda meM bhI tumhAre upasargoM . ke lomaharSI samAcAra milane para jaba maiM bahuta hatAhata ho kara Akranda karatI thI, to vivaza ho kara daur3e Ate aura aneka taraha se mujhe sahalA-dularA kara DhArasa baMdhAte rahate / varnA to isa nandyAvarta meM hama kisI vijana mahAsamudra ke bIca do apane Apa meM banda rahasIle dvIpoM kI taraha hI rahate haiM / anivArya kAma-kAjI bAtacIta jaise hama do yaMtroM kI taraha kara lete haiN| para phira bhI kaisA alaukika hai yaha ahasAsa, ki jaise tere bApU cupacApa merI zirA-zirA meM bahate rahate haiM, aura jaise maiM unakI dhamaniyoM meM jvAroM-sI umar3atI rahatI hU~ / nintAta asampRkta ekAkI ho kara bhI, hama nirantara isa taraha sAtha haiM, jaise dharatI para chAyA AkAza / aura usa AkAza ke kisI nIlamI TIle para tuma eka nidvaMdva zizu kI taraha mukta krIr3A kara rahe ho / para hAya, merA A~cala tarasa kara raha jAtA hai, mere stana umar3a kara jhara par3ate haiM, para para tumheM goda nahIM liyA jA sakatA / basa, vivaza hU~ ki vaha TIlA ho rahU~, jisa para tuma khela rahe ho / * vaizAlI se qhabareM AtI rahatI haiM, ki tumhAre jAne ke bAda se videhoM kI yaha vaibhava-bhUmi eka adhika adhika kholatI kar3hAI ho kara raha gaI hai / Aye dina magadha aura vaizAlI ke bIca chuTapuTa yuddha-vigraha hote hI rahate haiM / kauna jAne, tumheM patA ho yA nahIM, zIla- candanA ke svapna kI jinezvarI devanagarI campAkA mAgadhoM ke hAthoM patana ho gayA / viSa kanyA ke sarpadaMza se zrAvaka zreSTha mahArAja dadhivAhana kI hatyA karavA dI gaI / terI mausI padmAvatI zIla-candana ko lekara zrAvastI calI gayI / vahA~ se tumhArI khoja meM ve rAha-rAha bhaTakatI phiriiN| jisa bhI grAma-nagara pahu~catIM patA calatA ki tuma usI prAtaH kAla anyatra vihAra kara gaye ho| tumhArA pIchA karake, kauna tumheM pA sakatA hai? havA aura AkAza ko koI kaise pakar3a sakatA hai, jabaki hama hI unakI pakar3a meM jIvana dhAraNa kiye haiM / apanI hI AtI-jAtI sA~soM kA pIchA kara, hama kahA~ pahu~ca sakeMge ? apane hI meM lauTa kara virama jAne ko vivaza ho jAyeMge / sunatI hU~, candrabhadrA zIlA ko koI aisA Antara

Page #237
227 Adeza prApta huA hai, ki vaha kosala ke dAsI- rAnI putra viDUDhaba se vivAha kara, zrAvastI ke rAjasiMhAsana kI jinezvarI adhiSThAtrI ho jAye / prabhutApramatta zAkya kSatriyoM se avamAnita dAsa rakta kA varaNa karake, vaha arihantoM ke zAzvata mukti-yajJa ko Age bar3hAye | 'kucha barasa tumhAre navama khaNDa ke kakSa meM jAne kA sAhasa na kara sakI / aba kabhI-kabhI calI jAtI hU~, to dekhatI hU~, ki vaha rikta nahIM hai, zUnya nahIM hai eka adbhuta sukhada upasthiti se vaha pUrampUra bharA huA hai / eka-eka vastu yathAsthAna, kucha isa taraha akSuNNa aura aTala hai, mAno ki ve zAzvatI (iniTI) meM nita navIna hotI huI vidyamAna haiN| hara cIz2a meM jaiseM A~kheM khula uThI haiM, aura ve itanI pUrNatA se mukta, Azvasta aura paripUrita haiM, mAno unakA bhoktA unake reze - reze meM nitya krIr3AzIla hai / jaba bhI kabhI ekAeka mana ucATa yA udAsa ho jAtA hai, to tumhAre usa kakSa meM calI jAtI hU~ / tumhAre sphaTika siMhAsana ke pAyatAne leTa jAtI hU~, aura lagatA hai ki yaha kauna lapaka kara merI chAtI ke pAsa A baiThA hai, mAno ki merI chAtI hI kaTa kara usakA eka Tukar3A phira usa para A leTA hai / acAnaka, - phira bhI navama khaNDa se nIce utarate-utarate jAne kyoM mana meM gahare viSAda kI ku~vArI jAmunI badalI chA jAtI hai| itanI bekala ho jAtI haiM ki hAya isI kSaNa janmAntara yA lokAntara kara jaauuN| jaise yahA~ ke isa paricaya aura pariveza meM jI nahIM skuuNgii| hara cIja meM se tumhArI yAda udgrIva ho kara bola uThatI hai, aura maiM ro par3atI huuN| ghaMToM rotI rahatI huuN| aura vaha rulAI hI jAne kaba tumheM merI bA~hoM meM khIMca lAtI hai / koI zikAyata yA abhiyoga mana meM nahIM hai, phira bhI raha-raha kara eka prazna jI meM hUka uThatA hai / ki rAha-rAha, nagara-nagara, grAma-grAma, ghATa-ghATa, jaMgala-jaMgala, nadI-nadI, kaNa-kaNa aura digdiganta meM parivrAjana kara rahe ho / ki bAraha varSa se avirAma, avizrAnta cala rahe ho / ki vaizAlI ko dhUli ko bhI kaI bAra apane zrIcaraNoM se dhanya kara gaye / para kSatriya-kuNDapura kI hiraNyavatI kA taTa kabhI tumhArI atithi pagacApa se caukannA na huA ? tumhArI parachA~hIM taka yojanoM kI dUrI se hI nandyAvarta ko TAla kara nikala gii| tumane madhyAnha sUrya - belA kI jalatI parvata caTTAnoM para car3hanA kubUla kiyA, para merI tarasatI darakatI chAtI ke vyAkula nivedana ko eka bAra bhI bUMda jAnA, tumheM maMjUra na ho sakA ? zAyada isa lie nahIM Aye ki, jo dvAra tuma pAra kara cuke the, jo sIr3hiyA~ tuma utara cuke the, unakI ora lauTa kara AnA tumhArI nirantara purogAmI yAtrA ke nakze meM sambhava nahIM thA / zAyada

Page #238
224 isa lie nahIM Aye, ki nandyAvarta ke siMhapaura para bhikSArthI ho kara Aoge, aura pANi-pAtra pasAra doge, to tumhArI mA~ ko vaha sahana nahIM hogaa| zAyada yaha bhI socA ho, ki jina mAtA-pitA aura parijanoM kA sarvasva hI chIna le gaye ho, unase aura mA~gane ko kauna-sI bhikSA zeSa raha gayI hai ? kAraNa jo bhI rahA ho, mAna, para yaha bAta kA~Te kI taraha mere jI meM khaTakatI hai, ki sArI duniyA ko apanAne ke lie kyA yaha anivArya thA, ki hama tumhAre nitAnta parAye ho jAyeM ? sunatI rahI hU~, sahasroM AtmAe~ tumhArI isa mahAyAtrA meM tumhArA pyAra pA kara uttIrNa ho giiN| asurarAja camarendra ke durmada ahaMkAra ko bhI tumhAre caraNoM meM zaraNa prApta ho skii| pApiyoM, vezyAoM aura cANDAloM taka ko tumane gale lgaayaa| caNDakauzika se apane hRdaya-deza taka ko daMza krvaayaa| khoja-khoja kara apane janama-janama ke zatruoM kI pratihiMsA ke hAthoM tumane apane pora-pora ko nuMcavA ddaalaa| agamya jala-lokoM meM utara kara sudRSTra nAgakumAra ke ubalate vaira ke prati AtmArpita ho gye| * * para hamArI bhUmi, nagara, A~gana aura dvAra se tumane itanA paraheja kiyA, ki phira lauTa kara usa ora muMha taka na pheraa| apane janaka-janetA kI ananta pratIkSAvatI A~khoM ke uttara meM, eka jhalaka dikhAnA yA A~kha uThA kara dekhanA bhI tumheM gavArA na ho sakA? sAre kAraNa bUjha kara bhI, yaha bAta kAraNAtIta lagatI hai| kyoM ki itanA mamatva tuma meM kahA~ raha gayA hai, ki tuma jAnabUjha kara hamase baca kara niklo| socatI hU~, carama avahelanA zAyada usI kI kI jAtI hai, jise pyAra karane kI vivazatA chorahIna ho gaI ho| so tumhArI isa avajJA meM bhI tumhArA ananta pyAra dekhane ko lAcAra hai, tumhArI mA~ / pUcha sakate ho, ki 'tRzalA, (mA~ to aba tuma mujhe kahoge nahIM ! ), tumhI kyoM na mujhe khoja kara mere pAsa Ane ko vivaza huIM ?' . yaha to tuma se chupA nahIM, mAna, ki tumhArI mA~ kA jI kitanA-kitanA ucATa rahA hai| kaI AdhI rAtoM meM isa kadara becaina huI haiM, ki isa mahala se bhAga chUTeM, aura bAvalI ho kara tumhAre pIche daur3I phirUM / .. aura dekho na, merI cetanA kyA tumhAre vihAra ke digantoM para hI hara pala nahIM bhaTaka rahI hai ? * . . .. para bAra-bAra yahI lagA hai, ki tumhAre sAmane par3a kara, tumhArI muktiyAtrA kI bAdhA hI bnuuNgii| vaha upasarga anya sAre upasargoM se adhika krUra hogA tumhAre lie / tumhArI mA~ tumhArI aisI hatyArI kaise ho sakatI thI ? aura phira tumhArI usa avadhUta kAyA, aura jaMgala-jaMgala kI dhUla se sane aura

Page #239
229 kAMToM se phaTe tumhAre sukumAra caraNoM ko dekhane kA sAhasa bhI mana juTA na sakI / so apane ekAnta kI isa zaiyA para apanI chAtI bichA kara, anupala tumhAre una vizva- lAlita caraNoM kI cAyeM jhelane kA sukha anubhava karatI, apane stanoM kI umar3ana meM visarjita hotI rahI / para merA yaha itanA sA sukha bhI kyA tumheM sahana na ho sakA ? jo isa AdhI rAta bhara nIMda meM, mahAkAla kA zUla bana kara tuma merI isa cira pratIkSAkula chAtI ko hUla gaye / aisA laga rahA hai, ki isa carama vidAraNa ke sAtha, tuma mAnuSika bhUmikA kA atikramaNa kara, mAnuSottara zikhara para ArohaNa kara rahe ho / hamArI isa USmAvila dharatI ke kaNa-kaNa aura jIva-jIva kI pIra tumhAre hRdaya ko sadA marmAhata kara detI rahI hai / prANi mAtra kI AtmA meM AtmA U~r3ela kara hI tuma aba taka jiye ho / para isa kSaNa aisA laga rahA hai, ki apane AtmotthAna kI yAtrA meM, tuma prANa-jagata kI sImA ko bhI pAra kara gaye ho / tana aura mana ke sAre nAte jhaMjhor3a kara tor3a gaye ho / to kyA, mAna, tuma aba manuSya nahIM rahe, bhagavAna ho gaye ? ho nahIM gaye, to ho jAne kI anI para khar3e ho / bhagavAnoM kI to kamI nahIM itihAsa meM / hara patthara ko manuSya kI bhayabhIta AsthA ne AdikAla se bhagavAna banA kara pUjA hai / usa patthara kI nirmamatA sadA anuttara rahI, phira bhI manuSya usI se cipaTa kara tANa pAne ke bhrama meM sadiyoM se jI rahA hai / usa dUravAsI, sarva sattAdhArI pASANa - bhagavAna kA maiM kyA karUMgI ? siddhAlaya ke siddhAtmA se merA kyA prayojana ? ve apane trikAlAbAdhita jJAna meM hamAre saMsAra kI cira kaSTa-lIlA ke nire akriya sAkSI ho kara hI, apane Ananda meM magana rahate haiM / unakA vaha AtmalIna cidvilAsa, mujhe hamAre duHkhAkrAnta hRdayoM ke sAtha ayyAzI lagatA hai / hama pRthvI ke vAsI, siddhAlayoM meM Atma-rati-magna bhagavAnoM ke svArtha se aba Uba gaye haiM ! mujhe bhagavAna nahIM, manuSya cAhiye, mAna / nitAnta rakta-mAMsa meM prakaTa hama jaisA hI, hamArA hamarAhI manuSya, jisake bhItara bhagavattA svayam utara Ane ko vivaza ho jAye / aura vaha pArthiva kI A~sU-rakta-bhInI mATI meM apane ananta aura amRta ko u~Dela kara pahalI bAra dhanyatA anubhava kare / mere mAna, sAre jagata ke mAna, kyA pratIkSA karUM, ki kisI dina tumhAre usa bhavya mAnava rUpa meM, bhagavAna AryAvarta kI dharatI para caleMge ? hamAre ghara-ghara, A~gana-A~gana, dvAra-dvAra, ghATa-bATa, tumhArI bhagavattA se bhAsvara ho uTheMge ? aisA bhagavAna, jo hara mA~ kA A~cala ho jAye, hara priyA kA prItama ho jAye, hara kaSTI kI sA~soM meM basa jAye, jo hamArI isa dharatI kI dhUla meM se hI eka nayA AkAra le uThe /

Page #240
230 ' para kaise ? isa kSaNa to tuma merI mAnuSI yoni kA bhedana kara, mAnuSottara ke zUnya - rAjya meM utara gaye ho / kyA vizvAtmA hone ke lie, eka bAra vizvottIrNa ho hI jAnA par3atA hai ? para merI yoni ko dhokhA de jAo, yaha isa bAra sambhava na hone dUMgI / usI ke dvAra se punarAgamana kiye binA, tumhArI bhagavattA ko yahA~ kauna pahacAnegA ? mukti- ramaNI isa bAra, siddhAlaya kI candrima zaiyA tyAga kara, tumhAre sAtha ramaNa karane ko isa pRthvI para hI utara AI hai / vaha yahA~, merI isa zaiyA meM, tumhArI pratIkSA kara rahI hai /

Page #241
ziva aura zakti zaizava ke bAda, tumhAre vayaska hone para, barasoM pahale kevala eka bAra usa dina tuma se milanA ho sakA thA, varddhamAna / tumhAre bina cAhe koI tuma se mila sake, yaha tumhArI sattA ko kubUla nahIM / so vahI eka milana mAno prathama aura antima ho rahA / usa dina kI tumhArI sUrata - sIrata aura bhAvabhaMgimA merI AtmA kI zAzvatI meM cira kAla ke lie zilpita hokara raha gayI hai / aisI hai usakI mohinI, ki mokSa kA sukha bhI usake Age phIkA lagatA hai / usa dina merI sA~soM se adhika tuma mere samIpa Aye, phira bhI AkAza se bhI adhika achUte hI bane rhe| ThIka sAmane baiThe the, lekina lagatA thA ki kahIM aura ho, aura tumhArI yAda se prANa pAgala ho rahe the / tumhAre viraha kI vyAkulatA se maiM dadha huI jA rahI thI / bidA hote samaya tumheM apane AliMgana meM sadA ke lie qaida kara lenA cAhA thA, lekina taba taka tuma jA cuke the, aura merI bA~hoM meM chUTa gayA thA kevala apanA hI A~suoM se bhIMgA A~cala / aura vaha bhI isa qadara agnila, jIvanta aura tumalIna ho gayA thA, ki use chUne kA sAhasa na kara sakI thI / 1 calatI bera tumane kahA thA : 'eka dina mujhe rAjagRhI ke caitya- kAnanoM meM vicaratA paaogii|' so to ina bAraha barasoM meM kaI bAra dekhA hI / lekina isase bhI adhika tumhArI antima bAta yAda raha gaI thI / tumane kahA thA : 'eka dina tumheM livA le jAne ko rAjagRhI AU~gA, mausI ! ' so jaba magadha meM pahalI bAra, nAlandapAr3A kI tantuvAyazAlA ke zramaNAgAra meM tumhAre Agamana kA udanta sunA, to maiM harSa se ro AI thI / spaSTa anubhUti huI thI ki -- merA mAna mujhe livA le jAne ko A gayA hai| socA ki jaba livA le jAne Aye ho, to tuma svayam hI mere dvAra para Aoge, maiM khuda cala kara kyoM tumhAre pAsa AU~ ? kaisA vidagdha mAna jAga uThA thA mana meM ! usI mAna kI madhura tapana meM sudha-budha kho kara, jAne kitane dina abolA le kara, apane mahala ke kakSa meM banda ho rahI thI / samrATa kitanI hI bAra dvAra khaTakhaTA kara cale gaye, para merA dvAra nahIM khula sakA thA / AkAza, havA aura sUraja bhI mere usa ekAnta ko bhaMga na kara sakeM, isa qhayAla se sAre hI dvAra- vAtAyana banda kara diye the /

Page #242
232 eka lau-sI bhItara akampa jala rahI thI, aura yahI lagatA thA, ki jaba tuma mere dvAra para Akara bhikSA kA pANipAtra pasAra doge, to mujhe acUka patA cala jAyegA / aura maiM kSaNa mAtra meM daur3I Akara tumhAre samakSa samarpita ho rahU~gI / vaha pratIkSA antahIna jvAlA ho kara raha gaI / para tuma : nahIM Aye / jAna par3atA hai, mana kI cAha ke carama sapane ko tor3a denA hI tumhArA ekamAtra dastUra hai / phira bhI eka durnivAra cuTIle mAna kI kuNDalinI meM apane ko kasatI hI calI gaI thI / yahI lagatA thA, livAne Aye ho to rAjadvAra para bhI dvArApekSaNa kyoM karU~ ? mere satakhaNDe mahala kI sIr3hiyA~ car3ha kara tumheM hI mere kakSa ke dvAra para AnA hogaa| tuma Akara dastaka doge, tabhI samrAjJI celanA ke kiMvAr3a khula skeNge| tumhArI vaha anaThoMkI dastaka hRdaya kI dhar3akaneM bhale hI ho rahI, para mere ratnoM ke kiMvAr3oM para vaha kabhI na sunAI par3I / yaha mAnabhaMga raha-raha kara apanI chAtI para eka ghUMro-sA anubhava hotA thA / hara kSaNa usake smaraNa se mere hRdaya kI aiMThana bar3hatI hI jAtI thI, aura koI jaise use Thokara mAra kara, eka bijalI kI-sI churI se parta-dara-parta kATatA calA jA rahA thA / eka dina socA ki kisa birate para aisA abhimAna kiye baiThI hU~ ? zAyada yaha bhUla nahIM sakI hU~ ki samrAjJI hU~, aura AryAvarta kI Asamudra pRthvI jisa vijetA kI talavAra ke teja se tharatharA rahI hai, usakI paTTamahiSI huuN| * * * para apane jAne kisI samrATatva se tumheM mApane kI bhUla mujha se kaise ho sakatI thii| para apane bhItara kI baddhamUla ho gayI samrAjJI kI sattA ke AdhAra ko jarUra hI kahIM avacetana meM kasa kara pakar3e hue thI / kintu magadhezvara kI dastaka para bhI na khulane vAle kiMvAr3oM ke kakSa meM kyA kevala magadhezvarI hI bandinI huI par3I thI ? apane hI Ape ke sivAya, kauna-sA samrAT aura sAmrAjya mujhe isa qadara vivaza kara sakatA thA ? chIlatI hI calI gaI thI apane ko, aura antataH pAyA thA, ki sAmrAjya, sattA, mahala, kakSa, kiMvAr3a, ratna- zaiyA aura sAre aizvarya pIche chUTa gaye haiM / kevala adhara ke palaMga para eka nirAdhAra naMgI lapaTa chaTapaTA rahI hai ! kitanA niSThura hai usakA svAmI, jo eka dina use Akara ujAla gayA thA, para usake bAda usane svapna meM bhI mur3a kara phira usakI sudha nahIM lii| usI ke bala para to apane antara-rAjya kI ekAkinI samrAjJI banI baiThI hU~ / para nahIM, merA vaha mAna bhI tumheM kubUla na ho sakA / merA vaha svapna bhI tumheM jhaTaka kara tor3a dene lAyaka hI lagA / nArI ke usa AkhirI aramAna kA bhI tumane majAka hI ur3A diyaa| mere nArItva taka se mujhe vaMcita kiye binA jaise

Page #243
233 tumheM caina nahIM, o arddhanArIzvara ! mAno ki tumhArI nagnaagni-zalAkA se yonibheda jhele binA, koI nArI tumhArI arddhAMginI nahIM ho sakatI / Akhira hAra gaI apanA samUcA ApA / isa bIca TapakAye apane sAre A~suoM kI poTalI apanI zaiyA para pheMka kara, mAnoM antima rUpa se samrAjJI apanI ramaNa - zaiyA se nIce utara AyI / usa seja para celanA kI bhuvana mohinI, kAyA kA tAbUta bhale hI chUTA ho / * apane TUTe svapna ke lahUluhAna Tukar3e aura umar3atI A~kheM le kara, 'inake' sAtha nAlanda ke caitya- upavana meM tumhAre nikaTa Ane ko nikala par3I / 'inake' bahuta nArAja hone para bhI ratha para car3hakara AnA svIkAra na kara sakI thii| paira-paidala cala kara hI AyI thI, aura usa rAha kI dhUla ke kaNa-kaNa se IrSyA karatI AI thI, jisa para tuma una dinoM vicara rahe the / mana hI mana usa dhUla meM mila kara, tila-tila miTatI calI gaI thI, phira bhI yaha abhAgI kAyA niHzeSa na ho sakI thii| tumhAre zrIcaraNoM taka jo use pahu~canA thA / unakI raja hue binA isase chUTa pAnA kaise sambhava thA / dUra se hI tuma kAyotsarga mudrA meM, nagna teja kI talavAra se khar3e dikhAyI pdd'e| usa teja ko sahana na kara skii| A~kheM nIcI ho giiN| dharatI meM dha~sakatI-sI kisI taraha lar3akhar3Ate pairoM tumhArI ora bar3hatI calI AI | ardhonmIlita A~khoM meM kevala tumhAre caraNoM kI jyotirmaya u~galiyA~ zreNibaddha jhalaka rahIM thIM / unhIM ke sahAre tuma taka pahu~ca kara, pAda prAnta kI dhUli meM laTa gaI / agni ke una kamaloM ko chUne kA sAhasa na kara skii| phira bhI unheM AMcala meM baTora lene ko jI cAhA / para dekhA, ki A~cala hI khicakara una jvAlA kI paMkhuriyoM meM lIna ho gayA hai / ' isa taraha anAvaraNa hotI calI gaI, ki apane nArItva aura usakI lajjA kA bodha hI samApta ho gayA / magadhezvara tumhAre sammukha A kara namita hue yA nahIM, yaha dekhane kA bhAna hI kahA~ raha gayA thaa| kisI taraha samhala kara jAnuoM ke bala jaba tumhAre caraNa- prAntara meM upaviSTa huI, to dekhA ki ye bhI mere sAtha aTUTa yaMtravat, usI taraha baiThe haiN| dekhA ki bAlaka kI taraha nipaTa ajJAnI aura kiMkartavyavimUr3ha ho gaye hai / bhRkuTiyoM kA mAna apanI jagaha avicala thA, para A~kheM unakI vismaya se avAk aura stabdha ho kara raha gaI thiiN| eka Taka tumheM nihAra rahe the, aura mAnoM praznAyita the ki kyA SaTkhaNDa pRthvI ke cakra tatva se bhI bar3I koI sattA ho sakatI hai ? bhrUmadhya meM kendrita, nAsAgra para sthira tumhArI vaha dRSTi tanika bhI vicalita na huI / taba hamArI ora A~kha uThA kara dekha lo, yaha pratyAzA kaise kara sakatI thI / AkAza, ghAsa ke tinake aura cIMTI ko dekha rahe ho, to

Page #244
234 hameM bhI dekha hI rahe ho| una meM aura AryAvarta ke sarvopari sattA-svAmI aura usakI samrAjJI meM tumhAre liye koI antara nahIM thaa| ro AI maiN| mana hI mana kitanA nihorA kiyA, ki mujhe cAhe mata dekho, eka bAra nigAha uThAkara inheM jarUra dekha lo| kitanI muzkila aura manuhAra se inheM lAyI huuN| jisa magadhanAtha kI eka naz2ara pAne ko AryAvarta ke bar3e-bar3e chatradhArI tarasate haiM, vartamAna itihAsa kA jo prathama cakravartI samrATa hai, rAjagRhI ke paMcazaila jisake Age zIza jhakAye khar3e haiM, pUrvI aura pazcimI samudra kI maryAdAe~ jisake pratApa se DagamagA rahI haiM, vaha zreNika celanA ke A~cala kI gA~Tha-baMdhA tumhAre caraNoM meM upaviSTa hai| * * para tumhArI samyak aura sama-dRSTi meM eka tRNa, kaNa yA kITa se adhika aura alaga kyA koI hastI nahIM ? inheM Adata nahIM yaha dekhane kI, ki jIvita loka kI koI sattA inake samakSa ho kara inheM jhuke nahIM / inheM kaisA lagegA, kaise inheM samhAlUMgI ? hor3a laga jAyegI, aura cunautI hogI mere sAmane, ki tuma donoM meM se kisI eka ko mujhe cuna lenA hogaa| nahIM to zAyada celanA ko apane prANoM kA phaisalA kara lenA hogaa| videhoM kI vaizAlI ko jo apane paira ke a~gUThe se kucala dene ko udyata aura uddhata ho uThA hai, usa vaizAlI kI eka beTI ko apanI chAtI kI phUlamAlA kI taraha tor3a kara, masala kara pheMka denA, usakI eka truTakI kA khela hI to ho sakatA hai| merI sArI mauna vinatiyA~ aura A~sU tumheM raMca bhI vicalita na kara sake, o merI AtmA ke ekameva svAmI ! hAra kara gardana apane khar3e jAnU para DhAla dI, aura eka nigAha inakI ora dekhaa| hairata bharI A~khoM se eka Taka, ye tumhArI AjAnabAhu jaMghAoM ke virATa staMbhoM ko yoM dekha rahe the, jaise mAnuSottara parvata ke mahAgopuram ko sAmane pA kara kisI mAnava cakravartI kA cakra-ratna cUra-cUra ho gayA ho| .. kitanI marmAhata ho kara ulaTe pairoM lauTa par3I thii| hamAre pIche A rahA hamArA ratha kucha dUra para hamArI pratIkSA meM thaa| inake sAtha calate hue ratha taka pahu~cane meM bhI kitanI kaThinAI huI thii| mastiSka ke kendra se jaise snAyu vicchinna ho gaye the| merudaNDa mAno bhagna ho gayA thaa| zirAoM meM rakta kA pravAha jaise thama gayA thaa| ghuTane TUTa gaye the / - aisA lagA, jaise marmara kI eka nirjIva putalI hI ratha taka pahu~cI hai| hIre-pannoM ke stUpasA khar3A ratha, raMga-biraMge pattharoM ke Dhera se adhika na lgaa| ___ bhayabhIta aura kATha-mArI-sI thI, ki patA nahIM aba ye kyA kaheMge? para ye bhI mUrtivat qhAmoza aura staMbhita the| lekina itanA spaSTa apane hRdaya meM anubhava kara sakI ki inake bhItara bhUcAla thamA huA hai / apanI hAra ko na

Page #245
235 svIkArane kI haTha se inakI mukha-madrA itanI abhedya aura patharAI lagI, ki merI putaliyAM bhI inakI ora dekhate-dekhate mAno patharA kara raha gii| merI citavana ko dekha kara ye vigalita na ho jAyeM, aisA pahalI bAra huA thaa| mauna-mauna hI hama mahala lauTa aaye| usa dina nAlanda se lauTa kara phira ye mere kakSa meM nahIM aaye| inakI anamanaskatA ko maiM eka kSaNa bhI nahIM saha sktii| para inake pAsa svayapa jAne kI himmata bhI nahIM huii| mujhase adhika inako kauna samajhegA, sivAya tumhAre, mAna ! inakI raga-raga ko apane reze-reze meM mahasUsa karatI huuN| jo kA~TA inake jI meM gaharA gar3a gayA thA, usakI cubhana ko apane hRdaya meM acUka anubhava kara rahI thii| aparAjeya magadhezvara ko, itanA parAjita, mlAna aura sarvahArA to kabhI nahIM dekhA thaa| lagatA thA ki apane palaMga para eka paravaza nanheM zizu kI taraha soye par3e haiN| * * use jagAnA, to pralaya ko jagAnA hai| aura usa pralaya kI niSphalatA para merA mana apAra karuNA se bhara aayaa| __.. socI, aisI sthiti meM, kitanI muzkila se inheM uThA kara phira dubArA tumhAre pAsa le AyI thii| rAste meM mere kahe ko inhoMne cupacApa sunA aura gunA thaa| ___ jaba hama Aye, tuma tantuvAyazAlA ke eka kone meM dhyAnastha khar3e the| samajha nahIM sakI, ki saikar3oM karSoM kI usa khaTakhaTAhaTa na, tuma kauna-sA dhyAna kara rahe the ? dhyAna to ekAnta nIrava meM hotA hai, aisA hI sunatI AI huuN| para vahAM upasthita tumhArI mudrA dekha kara, spaSTa avabodhana huA ki tumhAre lie dhyAna nirA antarmukha ekAnta-sevana nahIM, vaha pratipala kA sampUrNa jIvana hai| tumhArI dRSTi meM lagA, ki vaha sArI tantuvAyazAlA tumhAre bhItara cala rahI hai, aura tuma apane meM avicala stabdha ho / gati aura sthiti ke santulana kA aisA sacoTa darzana pahalI bAra huA / pAsa pahu~cate hI inhoMne vinamra nivedana kiyA : 'magadhanAtha zreNika praNAma karatA hai, bhagavan / ' aura ThIka inake anusaraNa meM mere muMha se uccarita huA : 'vaidehI celanA praNAma karatI hai, bhante / ' aura phira eka svara meM hI mAno hama donoM ne anurodha kiyA : 'magadha ke sAmrAjI zramaNAgAra kA Atithya svIkAreM, bhagavan !' * * para na tuma hamArI ora unmukha hue, na tumane koI uttara diyA / uttara milA kevala isa rUpa meM-ki tumane apanA dA~yA hAtha uThA kara, karSoM para tejI se ghUma rahe hajAroM paMktibaddha hAthoM para U~galI uThA dI /

Page #246
236 mAno ki tumane kahA ho : 'dekha zreNika, pRthvI kA AgAmI sAmrAjya bunA jA rahA hai ! maiMne phira kAtara kaMTha se anunaya kI : 'devAnupriya, hamArI sevA svIkAreM / magadha ke mahAlaya ko apanI padaraja se pAvana kareM / ' lekina tuma cupa raha kara phira pratimA - yoga meM nizcala ho gaye / maiM to aura bhI gala kara hI lauTa sakI / vyathA kA pAra nahIM thA, phira bhI tumhAre prati koI anuyoga abhiyoga mana meM nahIM jAgA / tumheM kevala samajhate aura sahate cale jAnA hai / aura koI gati merI nahIM hai / para aba rUThane aura banda hone kI inakI bArI thI / inake kakSa ke nIlamI kapATa sArI duniyA ke lie banda ho gaye / celanA ke halake se dUrAgata nUpura-rava se bhI vidagdha ho jAne vAle prItama ke banda kapATa para calanA ke mAthe kI pachAr3a aura cItkAra bhI vyartha ho gaI / taba eka hI mArga mere lie zeSa raha gyaa| tumhArI pratIkSA kI rAha meM bichatI hI calI jAU~ / dekhUM, kaise nahIM Aoge mere pAsa / pratidina bar3I bhora se hI rAjadvAra para zrIphala - kalaza lekara tumhArA dvArApekSaNa karane lagI / hara dina gocarI kI belA sUnI hI Tala jAtI / magadha kI asUryapazyA aparUpa sundarI rAjarAjezvarI ko, yoM ghaMToM dvAra para aDiga khar3e raha dhUpa meM tapate dekha kara, sArI rAjagRhI aura usakA vaibhava sanAkA khA gayA / magadha meM apavAda phaila gayA ki mahArAnI celanA devI, nigaMTha nAthaputta kI tApasI ho gaI hai / samudra-kampI magadhezvara kA siMhAsana aura devopama aizvarya tumhArI pratIkSA meM patharA gayA / magadha kA sAmrAjI siMhatoraNa tumhArI padaraja kA bhikhArI ho kara raha gayA / para bhikSuka hamArI rAha nahIM aayaa| hamArA mahAdvAra Thokara khAyA-sA mAno dhUlisAta ho rahA / paMcazaila ke araNyoM meM tuma tamAma jar3a-jaMgama ke pAsa svayam hI gaye / kaMkar3a-patthara, kITa-pataMga, kAsa-kusa, jAlA - makar3I, macchara-pissU taka tumhAre pUrNa sparza kA sukha pA sake / gRdhrakUTa kI guphAoM ke sadiyoM purAne agama a~dhere bhI tumhAre AliMgana meM bhAsvara uThe / rAha ke hara dIna-akiMcana grAmINa, khetihara, kammakara, Doma, cANDAla taka ke lie tuma calate-calate ruka jAte / muskurA kara udbodhana kA hAtha uThA dete / taMtuvAyazAlA ke karmoM taka se tuma ekatAna hue / matimanda maMkhali gozAla kI mUr3ha vAcAlatA ko bhI tuma hara samaya sahate

Page #247
237 rahate the| vaibhAra kI upatyakA ke durdAnta hiMsra kAntAra meM akAraNa hI ghusate cale jAnA, tumhArA mAmUlI krIr3A-kautUhala thaa| para celanA kI rAjagRhI kI ora dekhanA, tumheM kisI bhI taraha gavArA na ho skaa| saMkalpa to tuma meM thA hI nahIM, phira kaise kahU~ ki tuma haThapUrvaka hamArI avajJA kara rahe the| vikalpa aura vidveSa ke rAjya se uttIrNa ho kara hI mAno tuma janme the| socatI thI, jo apane prANahArI zatru kI bhI avahelanA nahIM karatA, khuda hokara usake pAsa jAtA hai aura use gale se lagA letA hai, vaha hamArI avajJA kare, itanA choTA vaha kaise ho sakatA hai| ___tumheM samajhane meM celanA bhUla nahIM kara sakatI, mahAvIra ! phira bhI abUjha hai yaha rahasya ki sAre loka ko apanI bA~hoM meM sameTa kara bhI, tuma mujhe pITha de kara kyoM nikala gaye ho ? * * *para coTa jisa marma para tumane dI hai, usI ne samajhA diyA hai, ki maiM tumhArI kauna hotI haiN| mausI nahIM, magadha kI rAjezvarI nahIM, saundarya kI mAnakezvarI nhiiN| * kevala ekameva celanA, saba se alaga, kevala tumhArI / itanI tumhArI, ki alaga se use lakSya karanA sambhava hI nahIM, ataH Avazyaka bhI nahIM / so jitanI hI adhika dUra Thela rahe ho, utanI hI adhika tumhAre nikaTa A rahI huuN| para samrATa kA samAdhAna kaise ho? tuma to unheM sadA se behada pyAra karate rahe ho / dUra se hI tuma unake dila kI hara harakata ko par3hate rahe ho / kapaTa kI kuMcanA to unameM kahIM hai hI nahIM / phira yaha kyA ho gayA hai tumheM, ki tumane prathama milana meM hI unheM uThA kara dUra pheMka diyA? unheM svIkArane se tumane inakAra kara diyaa| unake mAna ko tuma ThukarA sakate the, para unake praNAma ko bhI tumane ThukarA diyA / kahIM aisA to nahIM hai, ki vaizAlI kA rAjaputra zramaNa, vaizAlI ke AkramaNakArI aura zatru ko bhUla nahIM sakA hai ? ... to jAno licchavi-putra varddhamAna, maiM kevala vaizAlI kI beTI nahIM, magadha kI samrAjJI bhI huuN| mere hRdaya-samrATa kA apamAna merA apamAna hai| yaha nahIM ho sakatA ki tuma celanA ko unase chIna lo / yaha nahIM ho sakatA, ki tuma celanA ko le lo, aura unheM TAla kara akelA kara do / yaha nahIM ho sakatA, ki vaizAlI kI vijaya ke lie vaizAlI kA tIrthakara rAjaputra apane ajitavIrya ke pratApa se magadha ko rauMda jaaye| * * 'hAya, balihArI hai merI durbuddhi kii| caNDakauzika mahAsarpa kI DAr3ha meM apanA hRdaya de dene vAle mahAvIra para aisI zaMkA karanA kyA asatya, ajJAna aura anyAya kI parAkASThA hI nahIM hai ? yaha bhI kaise kahU~ ki tumhAre pyAra meM inake aura mere bIca antara ho sakatA hai|

Page #248
238 tuma eka bAra inake sAmrAjI mahAdvAra para apane zrIcaraNoM ke kamala A~ka dete, to inakI AtmA kI janama-janama kI phA~siyA~, eka hI jhaTake meM kaTa jaatiiN| tumhAre eka dRSTipAta mAtra se inakI sArI graMthiyA~ mulajha jaatiiN| tumhAre pyAra kI eka citavana mAtra se ye cinmaya ho jaate| * * * phira yaha kyA huA, varddhamAna, ki inako itanI nirmamatA se naz2arandAja karake tumane inake hRdaya ko antima graMthi se kasa diyA? inakI pIr3A kI kalpanA mAtra se maiM sahama uThatI hU~, aura ro-ro par3atI huuN| para tuma ho ki mero chAtI-tor3a rulAiyoM ke prati bhI nire pASANa ho kara raha gaye ho / __jaba nahIM rahA gayA hai, to bharI dopahariyoM meM, paMca-zaila ke araNyoM meM tumhArI khoja meM bAvalI-sI bhaTakatI phirI huuN| aura Akhira tumheM acAnaka sAmane pA kara, tumhAre caraNoM meM pachAr3a khA kara par3a gaI huuN| tumhAre padanakha para apanI lilAra kA tilaka aura mA~ga kA siMdUra ragar3a-ragar3a kara bilakhatI rahI huuN| aura isa taraha apane saubhAgya kI bhIkha tumase mAMgI hai| para hAra kara pAyA hai, ki usa aMgUThe kI avicala kaThoratA ke Age mandarAcala bhI pAnI bhara gayA hai| ___ghaMToM, paharoM, tumhAre caraNoM ke nikaTa baiThI bisUratI rahI hU~, A~sU sAratI rahI huuN| taba mujhe dekha kara vipulAcala kA zikhara kA~pa uThA, tamAma jar3a jaMgama kAtara ho Aye, para tumhArI samAdhi nahIM TUTa skii| pIr3A kA pAra nahIM hai, para aisA lagatA hai, ki jise apanA kara tuma apane samAna banAnA cAhate ho, usI ko aisI dAruNa parIkSA tuma lete ho| tumhArI avicalatA kI kasauTI para jo Thahara sake, vahI to nizcala hone kI sAmarthya prApta kara sakatA hai| jAna par3atA hai, bhagavAna apane priyatama jana ko isI taraha pyAra karate haiN| eka AdhI rAta acAnaka mere kakSa ke kiMvAr3a para dastaka huii| pala mAtra meM pahacAna gaI, kauna AyA hai| kiMvAr3a khola kara ulaTe pairoM lauTa aaii| acAnaka jaise bijalI kar3akI : 'varddha mAna kyA cAhatA hai ?' 'jo tuma cAhate ho, devtaa|' 'sAmrAjya ?' 'dharatI kA nahIM, dharma kaa|' 'mere Upara ho kara ?' 'dharma to sabase Upara hai hI, svAmI !' 'merI dharatI para?'

Page #249
'dharatI kisI kI nahIM / na kabhI huI hai / pUrA itihAsa bhrama meM hai|' 'zreNika bimbisAra kisI bhrama meM nhiiN| 'ho bhI, to isake bAda nahIM raha sakoge?' 'celanA * * !' 'svAmI' . .!' 'maiM yA vaha ?' 'mere mana meM tumhAre aura unake bIca kI dIvAra TUTa gaI !' 'isI lie to gaMgA-zoNa ke saMgama-jala para mAgadhoM aura vaizAlakoM kI talavAreM TakarA rahI haiN|' 'para kyA ve gaMgA kI akhaNDa dhArA ko kATa sakI ?' 'maiM apanI bhujAoM se gaMgA kI dhArA mor3a duuNgaa| usake g2alata pravAha ko tor3a duuNgaa|' 'vaha talavAra se sambhava nhiiN| vaha mahAvIra se sambhava hai|' 'matalaba ?' 'yahI ki tumheM kaSTa nahIM karanA hogaa| bAhubala aura talavAreM ApoApa gira jAyeMgI / mahAvIra apanI muskAna mAtra se vaha kara degaa|' 'usakI sAmarthya ? usakI haisiyata ?' 'yahI ki usake tana para tumhArI dharatI kA eka tAra bhI nhiiN| usakI tAqata talavAra aura prahAra kI kAyala nahIM / samrAToM kI dharatI usakI eka padacApa ko tarasatI hai| para tumhArI z2amInoM para usakA paira TikatA nhiiN| bahate hue AkAza kI apanI koI sattA nahIM, iyattA nahIM / phira bhI sArI sattAe~ usake bhItara kAyama hai / usake sAmrAjya se bAhara kucha bhI nahIM / tuma bhI nahIM, maiM bhI nahIM, nAtha !' 'tumheM nirgaya kara lenA hogA, celA / magadha yA vaizAlI ?' 'RjubAlikA nadI ke taTa para vaha sImA antima rUpa se TUTa gaI / merI raktadhArA meM vaizAlI aura magadha eka ho gaye / ' 'kAza, maiM tumheM itanA pyAra na karatA hotA, celA ! mere hRdaya meM AkhirI cAkU utAra diyA tumane / phira bhI * / ' 'phira bhI kyA ?' 'tuma adhika pyArI laga rahI ho !'

Page #250
240 celanA kI zaiyA, apane svAmI kI pratIkSA meM hai / ' 'aMgAroM para kauna leTa sakatA hai?' 'merI Aga se baca kara kahA~ jAoge ?' 'Asamudra pRthvI kA sAmrAjya merI pratIkSA meM hai / ' 'celanA kI zaiyA se bAhara vaha kahIM nahIM hai ! ' 'tumhAre isa mAna ko tor3e binA, zreNika ko caina nahIM / ' mAna to apanA koI nahIM rakkhA, sivAya varddhamAna ke / aura vaha tumhAre prahAra ke intaz2Ara meM hai / ' 'use TUTa jAnA hogA / ' 'hara TUTana para jo adhika akhaNDa hotA gayA, use tor3a kara kyA pAoge ?' 'tumheM / itihAsa kA eka azrutapUrva sAmrAjya / ' 'to tuma aba taka mujhe pA nahIM sake ? 'suno, celanA aura vaha sAmrAjya tumheM antima rUpa se de dene ko hI to mahAvIra AyA hai ! ' 'yaha mere vIrya kA apamAna hai / ' 'mere hote vaha kauna kara sakatA hai ! para para mujhe pahacAnane ko tumheM ajitavIrya ho jAnA par3egA / ' 'isakA nirNAyaka kauna ?' 'merI zaiyA ! ' eka gaharA, aTUTa sannATA / 'baiThoge nahIM ? Ao mere pAsa / ' 'merI dharatI hI tumane chIna lI, celA / baiThane ko aba kyA bacA hai / ' 'isa ora dekho / pahacAno apanI dharatI ko / aba bhI z2amIna para hI rahoge ? ' maiM dhapa se farza para baiTha gaI / aura ve merI goda meM Dhalaka Aye / * lekina phira usa rAta jo merI goda se uThakara ve gaye, to jaise kho hI gaye / mahala to kyA, magadha ke sImAntoM taka bhI unakA patA na cala skaa| aisA pahalI bAra nahIM huA thA / para isa bAra unakA yaha guma ho jAnA, bAharI se adhika bhItarI lagA / yoM unake bhItara ke bhUgola ko bhI maiMne hadoM taka jAnA hai| lekina aisA pratIta huA, ki isa bAra ve una hadoM

Page #251
241 taka ko tor3a kara, usa AkhirI andhakAra rAtri meM kho gaye haiM, jisakA anta ujAle ke sivAya aura ho nahIM sktaa| cintita kama nahIM hU~, para nizcinta bhI kama nahIM huuN| phira bhI anivArya ho gayA hai, ki apane ko aura adhika talAzeM, apanI sthiti ko aura adhika spaSTa rUpa se smjhN| kahIM aisA to nahIM hai, ki merA pAtivratya khatare meM par3a gayA hai ? kyA pati aura trilokapati ke bIca koI khAI sambhava hai ? ___AryAvarta kI satiyoM kI to yahI paramojjvala paramparA rahI hai, ki apane pati ke prati pUrNa AtmArpaNa ke dvArA hI unhoMne svayam paramAtmA ko prApta kara liyA / aura phira apanI AtmA ko bhI prApta kara liyA / isI samapaNa kI rAha ve svayam bhagavatI-svarUpa ho rhiiN| sAvitrI ne satyavAna se bar3ha kara kisI aura bhagavAna ko nahIM jAnA, nahIM mAnA, aura apane isa sampUrNa pyAra ke bala vaha svayam yamarAja se apane pati kA prANa jIta lAI / mRtyuMjayinI taka ho gii| rAdhA apane ArAdhya parama prItama kRSNa se sadA bichuDI hI rahI / para apane devatA kI Ajanma ku~vArI rAnI raha kara, ananta kAla meM bhagavAna ke sAtha abhinna bhagavatI ho kara khar3I ho gii| usane brahma-puruSa ke liMgAtIta ekAkIpana ke mAna ko sadA ke lie bhaMga karake, itihAsa meM yugala bhagavattA kA apUrva nayA mAna sthApita kara diyaa| * * * dakSa-kanyA satI ne apane pati zaMkara kI sammAna-rakSA kI khAtira jIte jI havana-kuNDa meM kUda kara apane prANa de diye| aura apanI isa AtmAhuti ke bala svayam devAtmA himAlaya kI beTI ho kara vaha phira jnmii| aura taba] apanI aTala tapasyA se, durddharSa ekAkI avadhUta mahAziva kI samAdhi ke kailAsazikhara ko usane kapA diyaa| aura taba svayam kAmadeva kI sahAyatA se usane kAmAtIta zaMkara ko sadA ke lie jIta liyaa| phalataH AryAvarta ke loka-hRdaya para, ve akhaNDa ekala vihArI brahmacArI zaMkara, pArvatI ke sAtha hI sadA ke lie khar3e ho rahane ko bAdhya ho gaye ! __ * * 'bolo mahAvIra, tuma kyA kahanA cAhate ho ? merI yaha pratIti g2alata to nahIM? hajAroM varSa kA itihAsa aura purANa isakI sAkSI de rahA hai| phira bhI tuma cupa kyoM ho, mahAvIra? bhale hI cupa rho| merA yaha saMkalpa acUka aura aTala hai, ki nArI apane svadharma meM raha kara hI tumheM prApta kregii| aura isI ke bala vaha tumhAre mokSa-mandira ke kapATa balajabarI tor3a kara, tumhAre barAbara meM A khar3I hogii| mujhe apane sAtha lekara caloge,

Page #252
242 tabhI merI deha-rUpa pRthvI para, tuma apanA dharma - sAmrAjya sthApita kara skoge| merI komalA mATiyoM meM apane kaivalya ke bIja bo kara hI vasundharA para tumhArA tIrthaMkaratva siddha aura saphala ho sakegA / 've to merI naz2aroM se ojhala ho hI gaye haiM / aura yaha jAnate hue bhI ki tuma isa samaya kahA~ khar3e ho, tumhAre pAsa Ane kI himmata nahIM ho rahI hai, varddhamAna / apane parAjita aura mlAna nArItva ko le kara, kisa mu~ha se tumhAre nikaTa AU~ ? jaba AU~gI, inheM apane sAtha aTUTa yugalita lekara hI bharIpUrI aura praphullita AU~gI / aura taba dekhUMgI, ki zakti ko inakAra karake tumhAre zivatva kI sattA kaise khar3I raha pAtI hai ! 7

Page #253
kAmadhenu pRthvI kA carama dohana isa udAsa sandhyA meM akelI vipulAcala ke pAdaprAnta meM A baiThI hU~ / bhItara mAno janama janama kI yAdoM ke jaMgala haharA uThe haiN| yAda A rahA hai, apanI vilakSaNa niyati kA vaha SaDyaMtra, jisane mujhe magadha kI samrAjJI banAyA / Aja barasoM bAda pahalI bAra apane atIta kI usa marma - kathA ko apane aNu-aNu meM phira se jI rahI hU~ / yAda A rahA hai, ayodhyA kA vaha anokhA citrakAra bharata / usa akiMcana kalAdhara ne ayodhyA kI rAjakumArI vAsavI ko pyAra karane kA aparAdha kiyA thA / eka bAra pAvasa kI eka bAdala chAyI belA meM vana-krIr3A karatI vAsavI kI eka citavana mAtra usane dekha lI thI / usake manovana meM eka kuraMgI aura mayUrI nAca uThI thI / usake bAda usake prema kI tanniSTha Aga aura ekAgratA ne usakI kalpanA ko itanA pAradarzI, acUka aura jvalanta kara diyA, ki usane apane saikar3oM citrapaToM meM, vAsavI kI pala-pala kI hara bhaMgimA ke sAtha use sarvAMga sAkAra kara diyA / svAbhAvika thA ki vAsavI ke Atma-rAjya ko usane apanI vidagdha kacauTa se ArapAra bheda diyA thA / usake mana kI hara taraMga ko usane apanI tUlikA se giraftAra kara liyA thA / bharata ke ve agnima citra vAsavI taka pahu~ce binA na raha ske| use lagA ki yaha kauna teja - puruSa hai, jisane usakI raga-raga aura roMye-roMye ko apane phalakoM para anAvaraNa kara diyA hai ? vaha use dekhane aura pAne ko bAvalI ho gaI / vaha prAya: mUcchita aura vikSipta-sI rahane lagI / ayodhyApati ko isa rahasya kA patA lagAne meM dera na lagI / bAta kI bAta meM bharata ko. muzkiyoM se ba~dhavA kara, ayodhyA kI sImA se nirvAsita karavA diyA gayA / isa nirvAsana aura viraha-vyathA se, bharata kI kalpanA aura usakA viz2ana adhikAdhika sateja aura vedhaka hotA calA gyaa| AryAvarta ke janapadoM meM bhaTakatA huA vaha apane nita-navya citroM kI mohinI ke bala jAne kitanI hI asUryaM pazyAoM kA manamohana ho gayA / apane isI alakSya bhramaNa ke daurAna vaha eka bAra mahAnagarI vaizAlI AyA / usane eka dina vaizAlIpati kI paramA sundarI beTiyoM-jyeSThA, sujyeSThA,

Page #254
244 candanA aura celanA ko, 'mahAvana udyAna' meM vasanta-krIr3A karate dekha liyA / kucha samaya meM hI usane cAroM rAjakumAriyoM kA eka bhavya citra A~kA, aura apanA citrapaTa le kara vaha vaizAlIpati mahArAja ceTaka ke rAjadvAra para A upasthita huA / 'hamAre udAttamanA, nirmala hRdaya, samyak - dRSTi bApU ne usa rUpadakSa kA svAgata kiyA / hRdaya se usakA sammAna kiyA / usake citrapaTa dekha kara ve usake kalA-kauzala para mugdha vibhora ho gaye / hama logoM ko bulavA kara citrakAra se hamArA paricaya karAyA gyaa| yAda AtA hai, jaba hama cAroM sammukha huI, to kevala eka bAra A~kheM uThA kara bharata ne sahaja zIlapUrvaka hamArA abhivAdana kiyA thA / usake bAda vaha mauna-mugdha mAtra namita nayanoM se hI jaise hamAre padanakhoM ko dekhatA rahA / A~kha uThA kara dubArA usane hamArI ora nahIM dekhA / para prathama sAkSAtkAra kI usakI vaha ujjvala dRSTi Aja taka maiM bhUla nahIM sakI huuN| alakha saundarya kA vaha citerA, apanI bhAvabhaMgimA kucha aisA lagA, mAno ki svarga se cyuta ho kara koI devakumAra pRthvI para bhaTaka rahA hai / usa dina ke bAda phira bharata se merA kabhI AmanA-sAmanA nahIM huA / basa, eka jhalaka bhara hI to usane mujhe dekhA thA, para aisA lagA thA, jaise koI bijalI kI-sI tUlI mere reze - reze meM jAne kitane raMga bahA gaI ho / bApU ne bar3e gaurava ke sAtha hama cAroM bahanoM kA vaha citraphalaka rAja-dvAra ke kakSa - gavAkSa para TeMgavA diyA thaa| sArI vaizAlI use dekhane ko umar3I thii| aura bharata ke citra-kauzala kI kIrti saurabha bana kara lakSalakSa hRdayoM meM vyApa gaI thI / yaha bhI sunane meM AyA thA ki bharata ne devI AmrapAlI ko kevala eka sandhyA meM, unake gavAkSa para pUnama ke candramaNDala- sI udIyamAna dekhA thA / aura usI eka darzana ke AdhAra para usane, unake ekAnta banda kakSa kI, aisI gopana zaiyAgata mudrA meM unheM aMkita kiyA thA, jo kisI mahAyoginI kI tallIna samAdhi se kama nahIM lagatI thI / devI ke pAsa jaba vaha citrapaTa pahu~cA, to ve stambhita raha gaI / apanA saba se priya hIraka-hAra unhoMne puraskAra-svarUpa bharata ko bhejA / bharata ne yaha kaha kara vaha lauTA diyA ki : 'devI kI dRSTi ne mujhe pahacAnA, to merA citrAMkana kRtakAma ho gayA / hIraka-hAra se usa dRSTi ko bAdhita karU~, aisA abhAgA maiM nahIM / 'aura pravAsI ke pAsa use rakhane kI jagaha bhI kahA~ hai ? '

Page #255
245 kahate haiM ki devI AmrapAlI yaha uttara suna kara bahuta kAtara ho AI thiiN| svayam apane ratha para ArUr3ha ho kara ve 'mahAvana udyAna' meM bharata ke kuTIra-dvAra para use livA lAne gaI thiiN| unake jI meM AyA thA, ki use ve 'sapta-bhUmika prAsAda' meM rAjasI vaibhava ke sAtha rkkheNgii| use 'vaha ghara' deMgI, jisakI khoja meM kalAkAra cira kAla se bhaTaka rahA hai| tAki apanA vaha abhIpsita 'ghara' pA kara, vaha abhizapta kAmakumAra cetanA aura saundarya ke nita-naye svarga apane phalakoM para kholatA calA jaaye| bharata ke kuTIra-dvAra para pahu~ca kara. devI ne use zUnya paayaa| paMchI apanI ur3Ana para kahIM aura nikala cukA thaa| bahuta khoja-talAza karane para bhI phira devI bharata ko na pA skiiN| yogAyoga ki caitra ke eka aparAnha meM merI tInoM choTI bahaneM-jyeSThA, sujyeSThA aura caMdanA, maeNjariyoM se mahakate aura koyala se kuhakate eka AmrakAnana meM vicara rahI thiiN| tabhI ekAeka bharata kahIM se unake sAmane A khar3A huaa| patA-ThikAnA pUchane para usane koI uttara na diyaa| vahota manuhAreM karake ve hAra gaIM, para bharata ko ve bahalA aura bulavA na skiiN| muskurA kara vaha cupa ho rahatA, aura anyatra dekhane lgtaa| . taba merI catura-cAlAka bahanoM ne use mukhara-mukhAtiba karane kI eka yukti socii| unhoMne bharata se prastAva kiyA ki vaha celanA kA eka saccA, tadrUpa, nagna citra aMkita kre| parIkSA kI cunautI ke sAtha una tInoM ne usa para kaTAkSa pAta kiyA / bharata taba bolA : . 'bhagavatI celanA cAheMgI, to avazya ve mere phalaka para nirAvaraNa hue binA raha skeNgii| maiM kauna hotA hU~ unheM nagna karane vaalaa|' lauTane para candanA ne jaba bharata kA yaha uttara mujhe sunAyA, to eka aisI samapiti mere hRdaya meM umar3I ki merA pora-pora khula kara nivedita ho AyA / mere kumArI jIvana kA vaha vilakSaNa saMvedana mujhe AtmAnubhUti ke prathama pArasaparasa sA lagA thaa| . - - eka dina acAnaka tar3ake hI bharata AyA, aura dvAra-paura para candanA 'ko bulavA kara citrapaTa sauMpa diyaa| aura cupacApa ulaTe pairoM lauTa gayA / . . . 'merA nagna citra dekha kara, merI bahaneM vismaya se avAka raha gaIM / jaba maiMne bhI ekAgra use dekhA, to lagA ki hAya, videha huI jA rahI huuN| janmajAta vaidehI ko bharata ne ArapAra dekha liyaa| merI A~kheM nIcI ho giiN| merA bola na phUTa skaa| apane sAre guhyAMgoM meM eka viplava kA-sA anubhava huaa| mere gopana aMgoM aura avayavoM ke sUkSma se mUkSma ubhAroM, bhaMgoM aura layoM ko

Page #256
246 bhI usane apanI rekhAoM meM tAdraSTa ujAla diyA thA / tila, lAMchana aura anya sUkSma rekhA-cinha taka usane 'celanA ke guptAMgoM ke jvalanta A~ka diye the / itane bar3e satya aura saundarya para pardA kaise DAlA jA sakatA hai / bAta vaizAlI ke mahaloM aura antaH puroM meM vyApatI huI, jvAlA kI taraha jana-jana taka pahu~ca gii| mujhe aura bharata ko jor3a kara aneka kalaMka-kathAe~ taka cala par3IM / sarala citta mahArAja- pitA ceTaka aura mA~ subhadrA bar3e asamaMjasa meM par3a gaye / lajjA meM unake mAthe jhuka gaye / yaha kaise sambhava ho sakatA hai, ki kisI kumArI ke gopana deha - pradeza ko dekhe binA, use koI itanA tAdRSTa A~ka sake ? savAla bahuta tIkhA aura jAyaz2a thA / para isakA uttara sivAya mere yA kalAkAra ke, jagata meM aura kisI ke pAsa nahIM thaa| para maiM cupa hI rhii| isa rozanI kI kaifiyata denA, mujhe apanI AtmA kA apamAna lagA / vaizAlI ke nyAyAlaya meM bharata para nAliza huI, ki usa AvArA ne vaizAlI kI satI rAjaputrI celanA kA nagna citra A~ka kara, sAre vaizAlI gaNa ko apamAnita aura kalaMkita kiyA hai / para usa citra ko banavAne vAlI merI choTI bahanoM ke kautuka -kautUhala kA anta nahIM thA / kintu mere izAre para ve bhI cupa rahIM, aura cuhula - maz2Aqa se hI sabako bahalAtI rahIM paramocca nyAyAlaya ke ailAna para vaizAlI ke cauka-caurAhoM, rAhoM aura upavanoM taka meM ghaMTe - damAme bajA kara, bharata kI sArvajanika talabI ghoSita huii| para abhiyukta kA dizAntoM taka patA na cala sakA / vaizAlI ke sainya aura guptacara pAtAloM meM balliyA~ DAla kara bhI, use khoja lAne meM samartha na ho ske| usa dina sabere jo hamAre anta: pura kI Dyor3hI meM candanA ko vaha citra sauMpa kara gayA, usake bAda usane mu~ha nahIM dikhAyA / yaha jAnane kI jijJAsA bhI use nahIM rahI, ki usake citra kA kyA prabhAva par3A hogA / - vaizAlI ke paramocca nyAyAlaya ke kaThaghare usa abhiyukta ko pAne meM samartha na ho sake / samaya ke sAtha bAta bisAre par3a gaI / purAnI ho gaI / rahasya, zAzvata rahasya ho kara hI raha gayA / eka dina vaha prasaMga phira chir3ane para canda mujhe se pUchA : " dIdI kyA rahasya thA usa bAta meM ? ' 'vahI, jo tuma samajha rahI ho, candana / yAnI use kholanA pavitra nahIM hogA / vaha ananta hI rahe / ' Jain Educationa International 'ThIka mere mana kI bAta tumane kaise kaha dI, dIdI !' 'tuma se adhika kauna mujhe yahA~ samajhatA hai?' For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #257
247 'eka bAta pUrvI, dIdI ?' 'puucho|' 'vaha kalaMka tumheM chU sakA?' 'kalaMka to sadA satI ko hI lagatA AyA hai, candana, kulaTA ko nahIM !' 'phira bhI pUchatI hU~, tumheM kaisA lagA thA ?' 'jAnate hae bhI kyoM pUcha rahI ho?' 'mana kI tahoM kA pAra nahIM, diidii|' 'apane tana ko apane mana se alaga to tumhArI dIdI kabhI rakha na skii| kyA mere cehare ko tumane kabhI malina, parAhata dekhA ?' 'ujjvalatara hotA dekha rahI hU~, tumhArA ceharA !' 'suno candana, dUrI meM niyati kA koI viSama cakravyUha dekha rahI huuN| merI civAMkita nagnatA kI lau meM koI jvAlAmukhI sisaka rahA hai !' 'dIdI, bahuta Dara laga rahA hai| sAfa-sAfa kaho na, kyA bAta hai ?' 'so to mujhe bhI ThIka patA nahIM, candana / yaha adRSTa kA khela hai| jAna liyA jAye, to adRSTa kaisA? jo Aye use jhelane ko sannaddha huuN|' 'koI saMkaTa hai, dIdI?' 'patA nahIM, para itanA jAna lo ki tumhArI dIdI Upara hI jA sakatI hai, nIce nahIM AyegI / aura nizcinta ho jaao|' candanA eka bhrUbhaMga ke sAtha ulkApAta kI taraha ha~sa pdd'ii| hama donoM bahaneM Ananda magana ho kara eka-dUsarI se lipaTa gyiiN| bahate samaya ke pAnI para bAta- itanI dUra jA kara kho gaI, ki usakA kahIM koI jikra hI nahIM rahA / / acAnaka eka dina hamAre antaHpura meM khabara huI ki haMsadvIpa ke koI ratna-zreSThi kaI jauhariyoM ko sAtha le kara vaizAlI meM Aye hue haiN| unhoMne kucha alabhya ratna vaizAlIpati mahArAja ceTaka ko bheMTa kiye haiN| sAdara unheM hamArI atithizAlA meM hI ThaharAyA gayA hai| aura vaizAlI ke ratna-hATaka meM unakI vilakSaNa ratna-sampadA se eka vicitra rozanI paidA ho gaI hai| kaI mInA-khacita ratna-maMjUSAoM ke sAtha, eka dina hamAre antaHpura meM bhI unakA Agamana huaa| zreSThi ke rUpa-svarUpa ko dekha kara hI maiM itanI abhibhata ho gaI, ki unake ratna-alaMkAroM para merA dhyAna hI na jA skaa|

Page #258
248 * * "eka anirvAra jijJAsA mere hRdaya ko kuredane lgii| yaha puruSa mahaja vyApArI nhiiN| yaha kevala samadroM kI sataha kA sArthavAha nahIM, samudra ke talAtala kA pravAsI koI ratna-anveSI hai / eka dizAvedhI dhanuSa mere bhItara TaMkAra uThA / maiM vahA~ Thahara na skii| apane kakSa meM jA dvAra banda kara liyA, aura A~kheM mUMda kara eka svapnamAyA meM kho rahI isa bIca prAyaH sabere, pArzvavartI atithi-zAlA kI chata para bane caityAlaya meM se pUjA kI bahuta hI lalita-kaNThI gAna-dhvani sunAI par3atI thii| aura mujhe eka ajIba becanI-sI ho aatii| eka sabere Aqhira maiM apane ko roka na sakI, aura pUjArghya car3hAne ke bahAne, atithizAlA ke chatavartI jinAlaya meM calI gii| * * mujhe yoM acAnaka vahA~ hAtha jor3e, vandana-mudrA meM vinata dekha kara ratna-zreSThi ke pUjAgAna kI dhArA bhaMga-sI huii| hamArI nigAheM milIM, aura aisA lagA ki jaise unhoMne mujhe pahacAna liyA ho| mAno ki TokA ho, ki are, tuma A gaIM ? * . 'tumhArI hI to khoja meM huuN| maiMne A~kheM usa ora se phera lIM, aura maiM dIvAra tAkane lgii| Azcarya! . . . dIvAra ke ThIka bIcobIca eka vizAla citra-phalaka TaeNgA thaa| usameM eka devopama sundara, bhavya pratApI rAjapuruSa kA citra aMkita thaa| * dRSTi par3ate hI merI cetanA ke atala meM jaise visphoTa-sA huaa| kaI janmoM kI yAdoM se mAno' maiM vyAkula ho aaii| nakha se zikha taka maiM pasIne meM nahA aaii| .. hAya, yaha kaisI apUrva mamatA mere rakta meM umar3I A rahI hai| isase pUrva aisI mohAkulatA maiMne kisI puruSa ke prati anubhava na kI thii| citrAMkita puruSa kI A~kheM, mujhe eka Taka ghUratI huIM, mere prANa ko khIMce le rahI thiiN| aura maiM A~kha mUMda kara bhI jaise usa ora se dRSTi haTAne meM samartha nahIM ho pA rahI thii| * mujhe mUrchA ke hilore-se Ane lge| lagA ki abhI gira pdduuNgii| tabhI ratna-zreSThi kA madhura kaNTha-svara sunAyI par3A : 'devI, ApakI jijJAsA ko samajha rahA hU~ ! maiMne cauMka kara A~kheM kholiiN| aMSThi ekadama hI samIpa khar3e the| eka asahya pRcchA kA kaTAkSa merI A~khoM meM kauMdha gyaa| aura merI palakeM lajjA se Dhulaka pdd'ii| ___ye magadha-samrATa bimbisAra zreNika haiM, devI / inakI talavAra. ke teja se AryAvarta kI pRthvI aura samudra ke sImAnta kA~pa rahe haiN|'

Page #259
249 suna kara merA ceharA phUTatI USA-sA lAla ho AyA / merI A~kheM phira uTha na sakIM / maiM mUrtivata stambhita, behada namrIbhUta ho rahI / 'ApakA kyA priya kara sakatA hU~, devI celanA ? AryAvarta kI sauMdaryazikhA celanA kI sevA karake kRtArtha honA cAhatA hU~ / ' apanA nAma eka aparicita dUra dvIpavAsI ratnazreSThi ke mukha se suna kara merI taheM kA~pa utthiiN| vahA~ ThaharanA duSkara jAna pdd'aa| para jaise kisI apArthiva sammohana se kIlita maiM, vahA~ se hila taka na sakI / 'bhante zreSThI, Apake samrATa ananya haiM, apratima haiM / ' 'so to haiM, kalyANI / vaizAlI kI rAjabAlA kA yaha abhinandana una taka caukasa pahu~cA dU~gA / ' 'mahAnubhAva zreSThI, zreNikarAja kI rAjagRhI, aisI koI bahuta dUra to nahIM / Apake digvijetA samrATa meM mujhe koI dilacaspI nahIM / para kyA isa citrapaTa ke zreNika kumAra * 'niHsaMkoca AjJA kareM, devI / ' 'kyA ve vaizAlI ke sImAnta para mujha se mila sakate haiM ? " 'Aja kI sUryAsta belA meM, zreNika kumAra vaizAlI ke sImAnta para ApakI pratIkSA meM hoMgeM ! ' 'to kyA ve yahIM para haiM ?" 'diganta - vijetA zreNika bijalI ke ghor3e para savArI karate haiM, sundarI / ApakA saMdeza una taka pahu~ca gyaa| ve manovedha vidyA ke pAraMgata haiM / ' to vaidehI celanA, ThIka sUryAsta ke muhUrta meM gaMgA taTa ke 'candrodayaudyAna' meM upasthita hogI / ' 'Aja pUrNimA hai, devI / ThIka sUryAsta aura pUrNa candrodaya ke lagna muhUrta meM Apake zreNika kumAra, Apake darzana kI pratIkSA meM hoMge / ' "hAya, nigor3I pRthvI phaTa kyoM nahIM par3I ! kaise maiM itanI nirlajja ho gaI, kyA-kyA maiM kaha gaI, kucha sudha-budha hI nahIM thii| koI tIsarI zakti jaise mujha meM se bola rahI thii| itanI sammohita, paravaza, AtmahArA ho gaI thI, ki apane Upara merA koI adhikAra hI nahIM raha gayA thA / kaise maiM mahAlaya lauTI, aura kaise vaha sArA dina bItA, mujhe mAno patA hI nahIM cala sako /

Page #260
250 ThIka niyata samaya para, guptaveza meM, apanA ratha svayam hI haoNkatI huI 'candrodaya udyAna' meM, mAno ThIka niyata sthala para yaMtravata bApoApa hI jA phuNcii| eka bhavya ratna-jaTila ratha, cAroM ora raMgIna rezamI yavanikAoM se AveSTita, vahA~ khar3A thaa| aura usakI valgA thAme eka rAjapuruSa pAsa hI khar3A thaa| citrapaTa kA zreNika na ho kara, vaha ThIka usako praticchabi lgaa| ratha se utara kara digbhramita-sI usake sammukha jA khar3I huii| zabda zakya na ho skaa| kisI SaDyaMtra ke AtaMka se maiM kaoNpa-kA~pa utthii| . 'Azvasta hoM devI, maiM zreNika nahIM, unakA jyeSTha rAjaputra abhaya rAjakumAra ApakA abhivAdana karatA huuN|' 'aura ve ratna-zreSThi kahA~ haiM ?' abhaya rAjakumAra aneka rUpoM meM eka sAtha khelatA hai, kalyANI ! usako isa badanAmI se AryAvarta kA kauna-sA antaHpura aparicita hai !' mere pairoM ke nIce kI dharatI sakatI lgii| 'Apa yahA~ kaise, bhante yavarAja ? ApakI sAhasa-kathAoM se maiM aparicita nahIM / - 'para yaha rahasya maiM bujha nahIM pA rhii|' 'maiM Apako livAne AyA hU~, bhAratezvarI !' bhAratezvarI? paheliyA~ na bajhAyeM, bhante yavarAja / * * maiM * * maiM akelA huuN| Apa mujha se kyA cAhate haiM ?' 'aba Apa akelI nahIM, raajeshvrii| AryAvarta kA ekameva cakrezvara Apake dAyeM kakSa meM khar3A hai !' 'hAya, yaha kyA suna rahI hU~ maiM ? he bhagavAna, maiM kahA~ A gaI ?' 'Apa ThIka apanI niyata jagaha para AI haiM, devI / magadhezvara kA AdhA cakravartI siMhAsana, samrAjJI celanA kI pratIkSA meM hai|' 'nahIM nahIM - yaha saba sunane ko maiM nahIM aaii|* * * maiM calI, mujhe kSamA kareM, bhante gajaputra / ' 'vaizAlI lauTane kA rAstA aba banda ho cukA, magadhezvarI / yaha niyati hai, devii| yaha Tala nahIM sktii| Ao mA~ * * !' - merI A~khoM meM eka bijalI-sI kauNdhii| vipala mAtra meM hI eka balazAlI, kintu ati komala bhujA ne jaise mujhe adhara, anachue hI uThA kara ratha kI yavanikA meM banda kara diyaa| mAno kucha huA hI nahIM / aura saba-kucha samApta ho gyaa|

Page #261
251 . . . 'tUfAna para AroharaNa karatA ratha gaMgA ke taTAnta ko pAra kara gyaa| banda ratha ke usa vicitra sugandha-nivir3a andhakAra meM mujhe eka janmAntara kIsI anubhUti huI / cetanA ke eka naye hI taTa para utara kara maiMne apane ko naye sire se pahacAnanA cAhA / sahaja svastha ho kara, maiMne ratha ke agale bhAga kI yavanikA ko sarakA diyaa| pUrNimA kA pUrNAMkAra keriyA candramaNDala uttarottara pItAbha hotA huA, dUrAnta kI vanalekhA para kisI samrATa kI garimA se udyotamAna dikhAyI pdd'aa| ___ 'bhante AyuSyamAna, aba to merI niyati kI valgA tumhAre hAtha hai| batAo, yaha saba kyA khela cala rahA hai ?' 'suno mA~, saba spaSTa jAna lo| * koI bharata nAmaka yAyAvara citrakAra eka dina acAnaka, jAne kaise samrATa ke gopana krIDodyAna meM praveza pA gyaa| usane vaidehI celanA kA eka nagna citrapaTa unake sAmane anAvarita kiyA / . . use dekhane ke bAda samrATa kaI-kaI rAtoM palaka na jhapakA sake / unakI anamaskatA ko bhAMpane meM mujhe dera na lgii| eka dina avasara pA kara maiM, dabe pairoM AdhI gata ko unake krIDodyAna-mahala ke zayana-kakSa meM cupacApa praviSTa ho gyaa| * * dekhA ki usa citrapaTa ke samakSa ve kucha isa taraha dhyAnastha, AMsU sArate baiThe haiM, jaise koI yogI hoM / ' . 'oha, devAnu priya, Azcarya ! eka svapna meM yaha dRzya maiMne bhI dekhA thaa| mAnava mana kI gati aura zakti itanI dUragAmI aura sUkSma bhI ho sakatI hai, yaha to kabhI jAnA nahIM thaa| samajha gaI hU~ saba, phira bhI kho| sunanA cAhatI huuN|' __ 'magadha ke sAre jyotirvida, mAMtrika-tAMtrika bhI mahArAja kI manovedamA kI thAha na le ske| sAre maMtrIzvara aura AmAtya pAnI bhara gye| para samrATa ke manorAjya kI kuMjI kevala mere pAsa hai, yaha maiM bahuta lar3akapana meM hI jAna gayA thaa| ve merI nirvAk manovedhaka dRSTi ko TAla na sake / khula Aye mere sAmane / maiMne unheM acUka Azvasta kara diyaa| ve praphullita ho Aye / ' * * kahate-kahate pala bhara abhaya rAjakumAra ThiThaka rahe / 'cupa kyoM ho gaye, AyuSyamAna ?' 'ratna-zreSThi ke SaDyaMtra ko kyA doharAnA hogA, samrAjJI? samrATa kA vaha citrapaTa merI hI tUlI kA khela hai|' 'kitanI vidyAeM jAnate ho, bhante yuvarAja, koI ginatI hai?'

Page #262
252 'yaha pUcho, mAM, ki kauna vidyA nahIM jAnatA?' 'maiM dhanya huI tumheM pA kara, abhaya !' 'mA~' . . !' 'to tuma merA haraNa karane ko vaizAlI Aye ! tuma apanI anajAna, svapna. kalpA mAM kA haraNa kara laaye| tumhAre isa putratva ko kaise dulArU~ ?' 'mA~ kA haraNa, AryoM kI maryAdA meM vajita na ho, to vaha karake maiM gaurava hI anubhava karatA huuN| para saca to yaha hai, ki maiM magadhezvara kI manomaNi, magadha kI bhAvI samrAjJI kA haraNa karake lAyA huuN| Apako koI Apatti to nhiiN|' atyanta nigUr3ha lajjA se pasIja kara maiM apane meM hI mara rhii| phira umaga kara bolI : vaha haraNa to itihAsa meM nayA nahIM, abhaya apUrva yaha hai, ki merA anya kokha se janmA beTA, apanI manacItI mA~ ko balAt ur3A lAyA hai|' 'balAta kahogI, mA~ ? abhaya brAhmaNI kA garbhajAta hai, aura kSatriya kA vIryAMzI hai / balAt nahIM, sUryAta kaha sakatI ho !' 'sUrya kA to balAtkAra hI celanA ko priya ho sakatA hai| maiM nArI hU~, abhaya rAjakumAra !' 'mA~' . . !' 'beTA' . . !' * * * kitanI dUra calI AI hU~, apane atIta jIvana meM / isase eka amola pratIti ho gaI / pUnama kI usa pUrNacandrA rAta meM, mahArAnI hone se pahale hI mA~ ho gaI thii| prabhaMjana para ArohaNa karate usa ratha meM spaSTa anubhUti huI thI, ki abhaya jaise beTe ko pA kara, pRthvI para kucha bhI pAnA zeSa nahIM raha gayA hai| prasava-pIr3A ke binA hI pAyA yaha putra, sUryAMzI karNa se kama nahIM lagA thaa| pratIta huA thA ki yaha sAtha khar3A hai, to mauta bhI mujhe sAmane pA kara merI goda kA chaunA ho rahane ko vivaza ho jaayegii| taba rAjagRhI ke rAjamahAlaya meM A kara, nayA to kucha bhI pAne ko zeSa nahIM raha gayA thaa| rAjezvarI kI sohAga-zayA aura samrAjJI kA siMhAsana bhI, mAno saMsAra ke antahIna saMgharSa aura saMtrAsa se pIr3ita aura bhayabhIta, mere vakSa meM A dubake the| usa pahalI hI rAta jo 'inakA' pAgalapana dekhA, to nitAnta AtmahArA ho gii| kyA koI samrATa bhI itanA akiMcana, nirIha aura nAdAna ho sakatA

Page #263
253 hai ? magadha aura vaizAlI ke saMgharSa se aparicita to nahIM thii| * * cAhatI to usa rAta apanI chAtI meM, vaizAlI para tanI inakI talavAra ko sadA ke liye galA de sakatI thii| para inakI abhIpsA aura inake sAmrAjya-svapna ko tor3ane meM mujhe apanI hAra, aura apanI hI AsAmarthya anubhava huii| binA kisI mA~ga aura zarta ke apane ko niHzeSa de dene para jo sAmrAjya prApta ho sakatA hai, usase kama para, tumhArI mausI kaise aTaka sakatI thI, mahAvIra ? apane ko acUka aura sampUrNa de kara pala bhara ko spaSTa sAkSAtkAra huA thA, ki samrAjJI kevala magadha kI nahIM, sattA mAtra kI ho gaI huuN| sakala carAcara kI mA~ hone kA gaMbhIra gaurava aura mAna mere aMga-aMga meM umar3a AyA thA / para usa parama anabhUti ko jIvana ke pala-pala ke yathArtha meM jInA kyA itanA sarala ho sakatA hai ? kintu pyAra, saundarya, vaibhava, aizvarya, bhoga, sattA, siMhAsana - sabhI kA apAra sukha dina-dina kama par3atA gayA thaa| nA kucha samaya meM hI usa saba kI sImA nagna sAmane A kara khar3I ho gaI thii| bhItara ke marma meM eka aisA rikta aura abhAva anupala TIsatA rahatA thA, ki jisakI pUrti bAhara ke deza aura kAla meM kahIM sambhava nahIM lagatI thii| ___ bacapana se hI jisa carama abhAva kI vedanA mere bhItara nigUr3ha rUpa se kasaka rahI thI, aura mere kaumArya kI rAtoM meM jisakI becanI ne jInA dUbhara kara diyA thA, vaha jagata ke sAre sambhAvya sukhoM se gujara kara, aba nitAnta anAtha ho uThI thii| inheM kabhI nahIM laga sakA, ki kahIM se kama par3I hU~, yA merA jo kahIM anyatra bhaTakA huA hai| para tumhAre samakSa to yaha svIkAra kara hI sakatI hU~, mahAvIra, ki samrATa ke AliMgana meM ho kara bhI celanA usase bAhara thI, ramaNa kI zaiyA meM ho kara bhI vaha ramaNI vahA~ nahIM thii| hA~, vaha zaiyA bhale hI usake bhItara kI eka taraMga mAtra ho rahI ho| rAjagRhI ke sAmrAjI rAjamahAlaya meM celanA sarvatra ho kara bhI, kahIM nahIM thI, yaha tumhAre sivAya kauna jAna sakatA hai ? . . . usa dina jo bahuta becaina ho kara, Akhira tumhAre pAsa nandyAvarta meM calI AI thI, usake pIche apanI yaha antima abhAva kI vedanA hI pradhAna thii| magadha aura vaizAlI ke saMgharSa kI pIr3A bhI kama nahIM thii| para vaha bhI mAno loka ke prANi mAtra ke bIca cira kAla se cala rahe rAga-dveSa, moha-mAtsarya, yuddha-saMgharSa se saMtrasta eka mA~ kI mahAvedanA kA aMza mAtra thii| so vaha samasyA to eka nimitta aura mAdhyama bhara thI, tuma taka Ane ke liye / apane antaratama ke cirantan santApa ko sIdhe A kara tumhAre sAmane khola denA, ramaNI-mA~ ke svabhAva meM sambhava nahIM thaa| . . . para tuma ho, mAna, ki sRSTi kA kauna rahasya tumhArI A~kha se bacAyA jA sakatA thaa| aura usa sRSTi kI utsa aura carama graMthi tArI tumhAre

Page #264
sammukha A kara apanA parama gopana avaguNThana yA A~cala haTAne ko vivaza na ho jAye, yaha kaise sambhava thA ? 254 eka 'neti neti' kI marmabhedI zalAkA se, krIr3A - kautuka aura khela - khela meM hI tuma merI cetanA ke antaratama kuMcuki-bandha aura nIvi-bandha kholate cale gaye the / magadha aura vaizAlI kA dvaMdva to kyA, loka ke tamAma saMgharSo ke dhruvoM ko tumane zataraMja kI samApta bAjI kI goToM kI taraha vyartha karake lur3hakA diyA, aura zataraMjI ulaTa kara cupacApa muskurA diye| saMsAra ke sAre khela ko cuTakI mAtra meM qhatma kara ke, tumane A~khoM meM A~kheM DAla kara mujhe aMtima rUpa se uccATita kara diyA / apane nArItva aura mAtRtva kI bhUmi ko phira bhI maiM kasa kara pakar3e rahI / aura samrATa se milane Ane ke bahAne, tumheM rAjagRhI Ane kA AmantraNa diyA / mAno ki apane anajAne hI mere bhItara kI prakRti ne usa vyAja se apanI acUka mohinI sattA ke paricakra meM tumheM AmaMtrita kara, apane sAmrAjya meM tumha qaida karanA cAhA thA / samApta causara ke phira lur3haka kara sAmane A par3e DhITha pAse ko eka cuTakI se dUra pheMka dene kI taraha, tumane samrATa ko hamAre bIca se haTA diyA / unase milane Ane kI bAta para tuma bole ki : 'nahIM, ThIka samaya para ve hI mere pAsa AyeMge / ' 'aba mAno magadha meM koI samrATa nahIM raha gayA thA, kevala samrAjJI apane mahala meM akelI chUTa gaI thI / aura ThIka apanI usa svAyatta bhUmikA para tumane ha~sa kara sIdhe apanI antima cAla cala dI thI : 'mere sAtha calogI, mausI ?' .. 'kahA~* * * ?' 'jahA~ maiM le jAnA cAhU~ / ' 'taba kyA na AnA mere vaza kA hogA, mAna ! ' 'to jAno mausI, eka dina maiM tumheM livA le jAne ko rAjagRhI AU~gA / ' aura usake bAda kA tumhArA ati sUkSma, adRSTa bhrUbhaMga kitanA prANahArI thA, kaise batAU~ / astitva meM raha pAne kI vivazatA se vikala ho kara, tumheM apanI chAtI meM sadA ko bA~dha lene ke liye umar3a par3I thii| para hAya, apanI bA~hoM meM tumheM ghera sakUM, usake pahale hI, tuma jAne kahA~ campata ho gaye the 1 usake bAda, saba-kucha ke bIca rahate hue bhI, ina bAraha-pandraha varSoM meM, astitva meM raha pAnA kitanI pIr3aka kasauTI rahA hai mere liye, so tumhAre sivAya aura kauna jAna sakatA hai / rAto-dina kA bheda bhUla kara sArI maryAdAe~ tor3a kara cAhe jaba rAjagRhI ke caitya -kAnanoM meM, tumheM TeratI phirI hU~ /

Page #265
255 * * 'haThAt eka dina lagA, ki saca hI magadha kI havAoM kA rukha badala gayA hai| paMcazaila ke AkAzavedhI zikhara jhuka gaye haiN| jAna gayo, ki tuma A gaye ho / * * inheM le kara, tumhAre nikaTa A upasthita huii| : tumhArA vaha niraMjana avadhUta rUpa dekha kara eka akatha Ananda-vedanA se prANa hAhAkAra kara utthe| para hAya, tumhArI eka citavana ke yogya bhI na ho skii| mAno ki bole : 'nitAnta akelI ho kara Ao, celanA !' .. usa taraha bhI A kara, paMcazaila kI talahaTiyoM meM kitanI na bAra tumhAre pada-nakha ke sumeru para apanA mAthA pchaadd'aa| para tuma eka ke do na ho ske| sarvasva chIna kara bhI tumheM caina na aayaa| sAre mahaloM aura kakSoM ke, sAre kapATa tumane tor3a diye| tumhArI caraNa-dhUli pAne ko magadha kA sAmrAjI siMhatoraNa dhUla meM loTa gyaa| * *celanA aura zreNika ke bIca tuma naMgI talavAra kI taraha aTala khar3e ho gye| bolo, aba aura kyA cAhate ho? . . . vaizAlI ko pITha de kara pIche chor3a Aye ho / magadha kI bhUmi para antima rUpa se A khar3e hue ho| jambhaka grAma ke nikaTa, Rju-bAlikA nadI ke taTavartI jIrNa udyAna ke pAsa, zyAmAka gAthApati ke zAli-kSetra meM, saghana zAla-vRkSa ke taladeza meM, godohana mudrA meM, jAnU para jAnU mor3a, Upara nIce ba~dhI muTThiyoM se yaha kona mahAkAla-puruSa kAmadhenu pRthvI ke stanoM ko avicala aMguSThoM se dabA kara, antima rUpa se usakA dohana kara rahA hai ? ___.Rju-bAlikA nadI kI laharoM para laharAtI tumhArI tUfAnI alake cupacApa dUra se dekha AI huuN| - kAla-vaizAkhI kI pAnI bharI A~dhiyAM, paMcazaila ke mUloM aura vana-kAntAroM / ke aMdheroM ko jhaMjhor3a rahI haiN| . ( . . 'magadhezvara zreNika kA dizAntoM taka kahIM patA nahIM hai / aura celanA vipulAcala ke kA~pate zikharoM para, kevala mAtra A~dhI kA uttarIya or3he, aura tar3akatI dAminI kI kaMcukI dhAraNa kiye, kise ro-ro kara pukAratI huI pherI de rahI hai|

Page #266
tuma raho yA meM rahU~ maiM hU~ ki nahIM hU~ ? apane hone para hI sandeha karane lagA hU~ / kyA varddhamAna ke hone kI yaha zarta hai, ki maiM na raha jAU~ ? lekina aisA to nahIM lagatA ki vaha kisI zarta yA dAve ke z2ora para qAyama hai| itanA bezarta AdamI maiMne Aja taka nahIM dekhA / lekina phira bhI ajIba hai, ki eka zarta-sI laga gaI hai, ki varddhamAna ko svIkAra kara ke hI maiM astitva meM raha sakatA hU~ / fafaa hai yaha videha-vaMzI, ki kahIM koI koNa yA dhAra isameM hai hI nahIM, ki jisase TakarAyA jA ske| lekina phira bhI isameM koI aisI adRzya aura sUkSma dhAra hai, ki A~kha taka uThAye binA, yaha nimiSa mAtra meM taha-dara-taha mere samasta ko kATa-chA~Ta kara rakha detA hai / koI aisA pAnI aura havA se bhI adhika mahIna phala hai, jo apane manacAhe DhaMga se mujhe tarAza kara, merI koI nayI hI AkRti ukera detA hai / raha-raha kara apanI sthApita pahacAna hI hAtha se calI jAtI hai| zreNika ke nAma aura rUpa ke sAtha apanI tadAkAritA ko mahesUsa karane meM kaThinAI hotI hai / yA to ina nagna zramaNa ko sAmane pAkara aisI abhedya kaThoratA se muqAbilA hotA hai, ki jisase TakarAne meM apane cUra-cUra ho kara samApta ho jAne kA acUka qhatarA anubhava hotA hai / yA phira aisI avyAbAdha komalatA sammukha hotI hai, ki TakarAva yA saMgharSa ko sambhava hI nahIM hone detI / eka aisA vizAla kamala, jo vRhata se vRhattara hotA huA, mere samasta ko barabasa apane meM samAhita kara letA hai, aura nikhila ke ArapAra apanI paMkhur3iyA~ phailAtA calA jAtA hai / eka aisA koNAkAra tIkhA parvata zRMga jo mujhe ApAda mastaka bheda kara, apanI hI taraha abhedya kaThora aura nizcala banA denA cAhatA hai / aura tisa para musIbata yaha hai, ki maiM kAla ke kisI AkhirI taTa para akelA svayam hone ko chUTa jAtA hU~ / cunautI hotI hai sAmane, ki apane ko pahacAnUM / ajIba hai yaha vyakti ki jIne bhI nahIM detA, marane bhI nahIM detA / jo hU~, vaha nahIM rahane detA, jo honA cAhatA hU~, vaha nahIM hone detA, aura samApta ho jAne kI chuTTI bhI nahIM detA / apUrva bhayaMkara aura qhataranAqa

Page #267
257 hai yaha aadmii| aisA balAtkArI , jisane merI AtmA para kabjA kara liyA hai, phira bhI merI icchA-zakti ko AjAda rakkhA hai, ki maiM apanI niyati kA nirNaya karUM, maiM apanI hara icchA pUrNa kruuN| merA saba kucha lUTa kara, yaha sarvasvahArI aba mujhase kisa cunAva kI AzA karatA hai ? bolo varddhamAna, tumhAre sAtha kaise salUka kiyA jAye ? * * * mAmane sumeru parvata bhI A kara merI rAha roka le, to usase Takkara le sakatA huuN| use apane bAhubala se jhaMjhor3a kara ukhAr3a pheMkane kA dama rakhatA hai zreNika / kahIM kucha Thosa grAhya ho to sAmane, ki jisa para apanI pakar3a baiThA sakU, coTa kara skuu| lekina yaha sukumAra saMnyAsI , sumeru se adhika aTala aura abhedya saghana hone para bhI, pakar3AI se bAhara lagatA hai| antarikSa se koI kaise TakarAye, use kahA~ se pakar3A jAye ? vajra se adhika Thosa hai yaha vaizAlaka / lekina vajra se bhir3a kara, merA prANAnta bhale hI ho jAye, vaha to Talane yA galane se rhaa| isa asamaMjasa meM pala-pala kA jInA dUbhara ho gayA hai| baiTha yA leTa bhI nahIM sktaa| dina-rAta satata calatA rahatA huuN| avizrAnta caMkramaNa ke cakra meM ghUma rahA huuN| isa mahala se usa mahala, isa udyAna se usa udyAna, isa pramadavana se usa krIr3A-parvata, isa pramadA se usa ramaNI taka, isa sImAnta se usa sImAnta taka bhaTakatA phira rahA huuN| ThaharAva merI sA~sa ko kubUla nhiiN| bhItara koI mukAma nhiiN| paira TikanA bhUla gaye haiM / divA-rAtra avizrAnta becaina cala rahA hU~, cala rahA hU~, cala rahA huuN| kisI pramadA kA rUpa mujhe nahIM roka paataa| kisI rAnI kI samarpita goda mujhe samA yA sahalA nahIM paatii| abhaya kI mA~ mahArAnI nandazrI kaI mahInoM se tIkhe pattharoM kI zaiyA para so kara mujhe viramAne aura pighalAne ko dAruNa tapa kara rahI hai| mere sarvasva kI svAminI celanA, Aja kitanI parAyI aura dUra lagatI hai| jisa celanA kI eka citavana para merA jIvana aura maraNa tulatA rahatA thA, usakI chAyA taka se Aja maiM katarAtA huuN| usake usa divya ujjvala mukha-maNDala meM mujhe apanA kAla dikhAI par3atA hai| . usake una uzIra zItala kezoM meM mujhe kaI chupe Sar3ayantroM kI gandha AtI hai| usakI usa mahIna dardIlI AvAz2a kI vidagdhatA mujhe hara pala pravaMcita karatIsI lagatI hai| usa AdhI rAta cAroM ora se sarvathA nirAza ho kara, barabasa hI sAlavatI ke nIlakAnti prAsAda meM calA gayA thaa| hare pannoM kI AbhA se chAye usake zayana kI zItalatA meM Adima ajagaroM kA AtaMka chAyA diikhaa| * . kA~pate-tharatharAte, apane lar3akhar3Ate zarIra ko jaba sAlavatI kI phailI bA~hoM

Page #268
258 meM Dhala jAne diyA, to lagA ki asahya nAgapAza meM jakar3a gayA hai| . 'oha, ina kezoM kI bhaMvarAlI moha-rAtri meM aba prANa ko vizrAma nhiiN| isa zAlinI ke kuMvAre vakSoja-gavhara meM jaba pahalI bAra sara DuboyA thA, to lagA thA ki yahI mokSa hai, yahI mokSa hai, mokSa yahIM hai| * *Aja usI vakSamaMDala ke adhika savana aura oMDe gaharAva meM jaba kho jAnA cAhA, to vaha kitanA ThaMDA, uthalA aura nIrasa lgaa| kahA~ gaI vaha agAdhatA, vaha athAha mArdava, jisameM eka dina amaratva aura ananta kA AzvAsana milA thaa| apane rAjya ke hara sImAnta para ghor3A TakarA AyA huuN| eka antahIna vIrAniyata meM sara pachAr3a kara lauTa Ane ke sivAya, usameM kyA paayaa| mere rAjya ko cAroM ora se ghera kara jaise alaMghya khAI khoda dI gaI hai / mAno kisI indrajAlI kA bhedI Sar3ayaMtra sarvatra cala rahA hai| . oha, vaizAlI kA yaha rAjaputra zramaNa aisA anirvAra AkramaNakArI bhI ho sakatA hai ? zatru ke hI rAjya meM A kara jo itanA aTala aura abhaya khar3A ho gayA hai, aise yoddhA se kaise peza AyA jAye? akelA, nihatthA, mAtRjAta naMgA, nitAnta ghAtya, hara prahAra ko samarpita, jo sAmane hara kabhI prastuta aura sulabha hai, usa para prahAra karane meM bhI apane vIratva aura kSAtradharma kA apamAna anubhava hotA hai| eka dama nirIha, akiMcana, akiMcitkara hai yaha yuvaan| yaha kucha nahIM kara rahA / kevala akampa, nirdvandva khar3A hai| * * *aura mAno merA sAmrAjya-svapna bAdala ke mahaloM kI taraha bikharatA calA jA rahA hai| apanI prabhutA aura mahattA ko reta-ghar3I meM giratI raja kI taraha bekAbU baha jAtI dekha rahA huuN| * * kucha thAmane ko na hogA, to abhI-abhI gira pdduuNgaa| aura apane astitva ko mahasUsa karane kI kazamakaza meM bhAgA huA apane gopana maMtraNA kakSa meM jA kara, dIvAroM para TaMge vizAla nakzoM para apane sAmrAjya kI sarahadoM ko TohatA huuN| para lagatA hai, ki merI ghUmatI U~galI ke nIce sarahadeM TUTa rahI haiM, nakze simaTa rahe haiN| dharatiyA~ kA~pa rahI haiM, maMtraNA graha kI dIvAreM dhar3adhar3A kara TUTa rahI haiM / antaHpuroM meM Aga laga gaI hai| zaiyA meM soyI sundarI mahArAniyoM ke lavANya meM se hI jaise lapaTeM phUTa par3I haiN| kaise sarvanAza kI ina lapaToM se bacanA hogA? kahA~ jAnA hogA? kyA karanA hogA? are kahIM, kahIM bhI to isa visphoTa se bacane ko koI dizA nahIM chuuttii| maMtrIgaNa, AmAtya, senApati, senAe~, apane khoye hue samrATa ko jaMgaloM, pahAr3oM, daroM, ruddha araNyoM, kandarAoM taka meM khoja rahe haiN| para usakA kahIM koI patA yA nizAna nahIM mila rhaa| uph, kasA cuppA qhAmoza khar3A hai, yaha durdAnta nagna AkrAntA, RjubAlikA ke isa ekAnta taTa para! * * *aura isakA yaha bAlaka-sA mAsUma, nirdoSa ceharA itanA Sar3ayaMtrI hai, ki isane magadha samrATa

Page #269
259 kAhI apaharaNa kara liyA hai / azrutapUrva hai yaha ghaTanA itihAsa ke paTala para / maiM tuma meM apanA pratispaddha, pratidvaMdvI khoja rahA thA, mahAvIra ! magara tuma kucha itane aniruddha, khule aura utsargita ho hara zai ke prati, ki tumase koI Aqhira kaise muqAbilA kare / jo AjAna apanI bhujAe~ nizcinta DhAla kara, nistabdha khar3A hai, usa para apane bAhubala ko kahA~, kaise Aja - mAyA jAye ? talavAra kI dhAra para hI jo hara kSaNa cala rahA hai, usakA vadha jagata kI kauna-sI talavAra kara sakatI hai ? ajIba fitaratI hai tumhArI hastI, jJAtRputra kAzyapa ! tuma bacAva kI lar3AI nahIM lar3ate / tuma zatru ke AkramaNa kI pratIkSA nahIM karate / tuma svayam hI pralaya ke pUra kI taraha merI bhUmi meM dha~sate cale Aye ho / beroka, durdAma, anirvAra / o durdaNDa AkramaNakArI, merI dharatI ke garbha meM tuma eka dhruva - kIla kI taraha Thuka kara aTala khar3e ho gaye ho, aura dekhatA hU~ ki magadha para sarvagrAsI AkramaNa huA hai| tumhAre avicala caraNa-yugala kI dha~sAna se magadha kA sAmrAjI siMhAsana Dola rahA hai / rAjagRhI kI devaramya prAsAda-mAlAoM ke aizvarya meM bhItara hI bhItara jvAlAmukhI dhadhaka rahe haiM / cAroM ora azanipAta, ulkApAta, dhvaMsa aura vinAza kA dRzya dekha rahA hU~ / apane isa 'maiM' ko ThaharAne ke liye kahIM koI jagaha baca nahIM sakI hai / astitva aura asmitA ke sAre avalambana cUracUra ho gaye haiN| jisa mere 'maiM' ko hI mujhase chIna liyA, usase bar3A merA zatru aura kauna ho sakatA hai ? kaMsa ke janmajAta kAla kRSNa kA khyAla A rahA hai / lekina merI kaThinAI usase Age kI hai| yaha aisA vikaTa zatru hai, jo mujhe mAra kara santuSTa nahIM ho sakatA, yaha mujhe jindA pakar3a kara apane bhavya sundara sIne para kucala denA cAhatA hai / apanI eka cuTakI meM yaha mujhe zUnya kara denA cAhatA hai / Aha, isa durvAra parAkrAnta zatru meM kaise jUjhA jAye, jo nitAnta akriya hAtha DhAle, kAyotsarga meM khar3A hai / lar3ane ke koI lakSaNa nahIM, magara hara pala mujhe yuddha ke lie lalakAra rahA hai / mahAvIra, kyA isI ko tuma pyAra kahate ho ? to phira zatrutA kI zAyada koI nayI paribhASA khojanI hogI / kaise kahU~, ki tuma pAkhaNDI ho / ArapAra prajvalita nagna hutAzana ko, pAkhaNDa, jhUTha, dhUrtatA kahU~, to satya kise kahanA hogA ? - mere sAmane se tumheM haTa jAnA hogA, kAzyapa, maiM tumheM sahana nahIM kara sktaa| lekina ajIba lAcArI hai, ki maiM aba tumheM apanI A~kha se eka kSaNa bhI ojhala nahIM hone de sktaa| aise rahasIle sarvasvahArI zatru kA bharosA

Page #270
260 kyA, jo kisI bhI kSaNa mere gAr3hatama praNayAliMgana meM bhI visphoTita ho sakatA hai / jo mere prANoM kI paramezvarI celanA ke sIne meM zeSazAyI viSNu kI taraha apanI zAzvata nAgazaiyA bichAye leTA hai, usase baca kara maiM Akhira kahA~ jA sakatA hU~ / - lekina Aja kahIM cale jAnA hogA / magadha kI sImA ko atikAnta kiye binA Aja caina nahIM / ' lekina magadha kI sImA hI jo hAtha nahIM A rahI / laga rahA hai, ki bhUgola aura itihAsa se nirvAsita kara diyA gayA huuN| taba parAkrama, vijaya aura sAmrAjya kA kyA artha raha jAtA hai ? 'lekina sAmrAjya se bar3I cIz2a hai merA svapna / merA saundarya svapna / vaizAlI nahIM. AmrapAlI ! o merI svapna, tuma kahA~ ho isa kSaNa, kyA kara rahI ho ? nizcaya hI tuma bhI bhUgola aura itihAsa se bAhara ho Aja kI rAta / aisA saundarya bhUgola, khagola aura itihAsa kA bandI ho kara kaise raha sakatA hai ? aura maiM bhI usase niSkrAnta hU~ isa kSaNa / maiM AtA hU~, maiM A rahA hU~, maiM A rahA hU~ isa daurAna kitane na chupe vezoM meM jAne kahA~-kahA~ bhaTakatA phirA huuN| jise apanA hI mu~ha dekhanA aba acchA nahIM lagatA, aisA parAjita samrATa auroM ko apanA mu~ha kaise dikhAye / aneka taraha ke rUpoM aura vezoM meM apane ko chupA kara aura adala-badala kara hI to ina dinoM jInA sambhava ho rahA hai / isa qadara chipa gayA hU~ apane hI Apase bhI, ki magadha kA apratima rAjaparicakra bhI apane khoye samrATa ko khojane meM hAra mAna baiThA hai| - vaizAlI kI eka vilAsa - sandhyA meM, tAmralipti ke kisI ratna zreSTha kA ratha, devI AmrapAlI ke saptabhUmika prAsAda ke sAmane A kara rukA / zreSThi ne pAyA ki mahala bezaka aba bhI asaMkhya dIpamAlAoM aura ratna-vibhAoM se jagamagA rahA hai, lekina devI apane lohitAkSa-jaTita ratna - vAtAyana para nahIM AyI haiN| usake zUnya meharAba meM kevala eka zatadIpa AratI kA nIrAjana jhUla rahA hai / mAno kinhIM adRzya komala U~galiyoM ke poroM para se isa AratI kI joteM ujala rahIM haiN| kisakI pratIkSA meM ? * aura ThIka vAtAyana ke nIce ke bhavya ratna - zilpita suvarNa dvAra ke kapATa mudrita haiM / tAmralipti ke ratna zreSTha sAgaradatta kA citta yaha dRzya dekha kara udAsa ho gyaa| pUchatAcha karane para unheM patA calA ki eka arse se idhara devI AmrapAlI asvastha haiM / ve kisI se milatI nahIM, vAtAyana para sAndhya - darzana bhI nahIM detIM / unake dvAra atithiyoM ke liye banda ho gaye haiM !

Page #271
261 zreSThi ne abhivAdana pUrvaka devI ke pAsa sandeza bhejA, ki ve eka aisA ratna devI ko bheMTa karane lAye haiM, jo hajAroM varSoM meM ekAdha bAra hI pRthvI para prakaTa hotA hai| samaya aura avakAza ke vyavadhAna jisakI vibhA meM vyartha ho jAte haiN| devI AjJA deM, to ratna-zreSThi vaha nidhi lekara sevA meM prastuta ho / isa bIca kI lambI avadhi meM parAkrama, pratApa, puruSArtha, rUpa, ratnakAMcana, kIrti, Rddhi-siddhi saba devI ke banda kapAToM para TakarA kara parAjita lauTa gaye the| kintu AmrapAlI kA dvAra na khula sakA thaa| lekina Aja yaha kyA huA ki devI ne zreSThi sAgaradatta ko bheMTa kI anujJA de dii| : zItala kiraNoM se Avila markata aura muktAphala kI zaiyA meM devI AmrapAlI eka upadhAna para sInA TikAye adhaleTI haiN| vipula AlulAyita kuntaloM tale, udAsa saundarya kI apUrva mohinI dekha, zreSThI vikala-vivhala ho aaye| bandhUka phUloM-sI ratanArI madirA kA caSaka, usa cehare kI sAndhya vibhA tale, panne kI caukI para achatA par3A thaa| una bar3I-bar3I kaTAvadAra A~khoM meM bina piye hI eka agAdha khamArI macala rahI thii| 'tAmralipti ke ratna-kalAdhara kA svAgata hai !' 'AbhAra, kalyANI !' 'Apa ke alabhya ratna ko dekha sakatI hU~ ?' 'prastuta hai, devaanupriye|' 'o* * * yaha to manaskAnta maNi lagatI hai| hamAre pAsa yaha hai| . . ' aura devI ne apane hRdaya para jhUlate eka bahuta mahIna partIle dUdhiyA ratna kI aura saMketa kiyaa| phira bolIM : lekina yaha hamArA mana na thAha sakA, zreSThi ! manomaNi ratna se . pare hai|' 'kSamA kareM, bhagavatI, merA yaha ratna manaskAnta nahIM, antarikSa-vedha cintAmaNi hai|' 'isakI sAmarthya ?' 'isameM dRSTi kendrita karane para Apa, jaba cAheM deza-kAla meM kahIM bhI avasthita apanI manokAmya vastu yA vyakti ko dekha sakatI haiN|' ___ kyA maiM isI kSaNa isameM, magadha kI bhUmi para niSkampa khar3e arhata mahAvIra ko dekha sakatI hU~ ?' 'yadi ve saca hI Apake ananya kAmya aura darzanIya hoM!'

Page #272
- 262 ___ 'mahAvIra se adhika darzanIya aura kAmya isa samaya pRthvI para kyA hai, zreSThi ?' 'sAvadhAna, devI AmrapAlI * * !' 'mujhe sAvadhAna karane vAle tuma kauna, o ajanavI ?' 'pUrvIya samudrezvara samrATa biMbisAra zreNika * * * !' AmrapAlI aprabhAvita, acala, ekaTaka mujhe kSaNaika tAka rahI / 'samrATa kA abhivAdana karatI huuN| pracaMDa sUryapratApI magadhezvara ko mere pAsa corI se AnA par3A?' 'apanI svapna-sundarI ke pAsa deza-kAla meM kaise AyA jA sakatA hai| antarikSa-maNi meM hI vaha milana sambhava hai|' 'kSamA kareM samrATa, yadi AmrapAlI kisI dusare hI svapna meM jI rahI ho, to ApakI antarikSa-maNi meM vaha anupasthita bhI ho sakatI hai !' 'devI kA vaha svapna puruSa kauna mahAbhAga hai ?' 'saMsAra meM Aja jisase adhika kamanIya, kAmanIya, darzanIya aura kucha nahIM !' 'magadhanAtha zreNika kA koI pratispardhI nahIM ho sakatA !' 'vaha ApakI pratispardhA se Upara hai, rAjezvara ! vaha vartamAna loka meM ekameva aura advitIya saundarya-sattA hai !' 'usakA nAma jAnane kI dhRSTatA kara sakatA hU~?' _ 'jo ekameva nAma Aja digantoM para likhA huA hai, use Apane nahIM par3hA, nahIM sunA ? Azcarya !' 'zAyada nahIM . / ' 'usa ananta, anAma ko, rUpa aura nAma meM kauna bA~dha sakatA hai ?' eka gaharI marmAhata, dhAyala khAmozI kSaNa bhara vyApa rahI / 'Aha pAlI, mere cirakAla ke svapna ko tumane bahuta niSThuratA se tor3a diyaa| tumase adhika komala to maiMne kisI ko nahIM mAnA / apanI abhinna aMkazAyinI celanA ko bhI nhiiN| . lekina tumase kaThora aura kauna ho sakatA hai?' 'mere mana mere isa bhAva se adhika komala kucha nahIM, samrATa !' 'amiyA, kyA tuma nahIM jAnatI ki. . . ' '. * * ki zreNika biMbisAra mujhe apanI AMkhoM meM aMjana kI taraha AMje hue haiN| ki maiM unakI hara agalI sAMsa kA kAraNa huuN| . .'

Page #273
'saba kucha jAna kara bhI, merI AtmezvarI, tumane mujhe avikalpa pAtAla meM pheMka diyA?' 'tAki Apa vahAM A sakeM, jahA~ mujhase acUka milana sambhava hai| kevala mAtra jahA~ ApakA svaka siddha ho sakatA hai|' vaha tumhAre aura mere bIca na hokara anyatra kahA~ sambhava hai ?' 'Apake aura mere bIca pUre saMsAra-cakra kA pardA par3A hai, mahArAja / hamAre sIne saTa kara ArapAra guMtha jAyeM, taba bhI unake bIca jarA, mRtyu, roga, vichoha, deza-kAla kI alaMdhya khAiyA~ phailI par3I haiN|' ___. . maiM khar3A nahIM raha pA rahA, ambe ! tumhAre atirikta aba lauTane ko koI sthAna nahIM chuuttaa| tuma bahuta nirmama ho rahI ho|' isase adhika mamatA kyA , Apako, samrATa, ki Apako antima vichoha kI vedanA se bacA lenA cAhatI huuN|' 'arthAt . . . ?' 'yahI ki Apa mujhe vahA~ mileM, jahAM phira bichur3ana nahIM, jahA~ saundarya kA kSaya nhiiN| jahA~ svapna TUTatA nahIM, antima rUpa se sAkAra hotA hai|' "kahA~ hai vaha svapna-bhUmi, bhagavatI ?' 'RjubAlikA nadI ke taTa para * * !' . . haThAt eka aphATa yavanikA hamAre bIca par3a gii| maiM ulaTe pairoM lauTa kara andhakAra ke jAne kina atala pAtAloM meM utarAtA calA gyaa| . . mahAvIra, tumane merA antima Azraya bhI tor3a diyA ! merI manomaNi ko bhI tumane sadA ke liye cUra-cUra kara diyaa| mere antaratama svapnadvIpa kI zaiyA ke carama virAma se bhI tumane mujhe vacita kara diyaa| tuma raho, yA maiM rahU~, aisI zarta laga gaI hai| hama donoM eka sAtha astitva meM do ho kara nahIM raha sakate, nahIM raha sakate / .. tuma saca hI kahate ho, mahAvIra, zreNika saundarya aura pyAra kA pyAsA hai| apanI usa cirantana pyAsa kI atRpti se tar3apa kara hI, vaha digvijaya aura sAmrAjya-svapna meM palAyana karatA rahA hai| bezaka, apane vAhabala aura parAkrama se maiMne kuzAgrapurI ke choTe se paitRka rAjya ko, vartamAna AryAvataM ke sarvaprathama sAmrAjya meM pariNata kara diyaa| ujjayinI ke durjaya caMDaprabota ko bhI apane zUrAtana se AtaMkita kara diyaa| taba pArasika deza kA durdAnta zAsAnuzAsa bhI merI maitrI ke liye lAlAyita ho gyaa| phalataH

Page #274
264 vItibhaya kA adhIzvara udAyana mujhe praNAmAMjali arpita karane lgaa| natIjA yaha huA ki hindUkuza ke durgamya dareM aura pazcima samudra ke pAnI merI raNahuMkAra se tharatharAne lage / ___ . . ' merI digvijaya ke lakSyIbhata bhUgola ke nakze to aba banane lage haiN| vaha bhI maiMne nahIM, mahAmAtya varSakAra aura mahatvAkAMkSI kuNIka ne banavAye haiM / maiMne to hoza meM Ane ke dina se hI, apane bhItara kevala eka nAmahIna nirAkAra anirvAra Avega ko anubhava kiyA thaa| vaha eka saMyukta mahAvAsanA thI, kisI aise aprApya ko pAne kI, jise pAye binA jiyA nahIM jA sakatA, jIvana aura jagata kI sArthakatA ko anubhava nahIM kiyA jA sktaa| mere bhItara kI vaha avirAma Arta pukAra aura pIr3A pyAra ke liye thI, saundarya ke liye thI, yA sAmrAjya ke liye, mujhe kucha bhI patA nahIM thA / mujha nahIM patA thA, maiM kyA khoja rahA hU~, lekina merA abUjha abodha hRdaya jAne kisa zai ko DhU~Dhe calA jA rahA thaa| usI ekAgra mahAvAsanA kA cira becaina sAmudrika hilolana kabhI merI balazAlI bhujAoM meM sarvajayI zUrAtana bana kara prakaTa huA. to kabhI achUte rUpa-saundaryoM kA durdAma AliMgana / eka ora apanI dAyIM bhajA se maiM Asamudra pRthvI para apanI talavAra kI bijaliyA~ kar3akAtA rahA, bhUgola aura khagola kI hadoM para apanI vijaya patAkAe~ pharakAtA rahA / to usI eka saMyukta kSaNa meM maiM apanI bAyIM bhujA meM pRthvI kI zreSTha mundariyoM ko apane parirambhaNa-pAza meM bA~dhatA calA gyaa| hara deza, dvIpa aura samudra-mekhalA kI nira-nirAlI kumArikA ke lAvaNya meM DubakI lagAne ko merA vakSa hara pala vikala rhtaa| hara nayI bAra, kisI aura hI priyA ke, gAr3hatara gahanatara saundarya aura pyAra ko pAne ke liye merI AtmA sadA tarasatI rhtii| kumAra kAla meM pitA dvArA nivAsita kiye jAne para dravir3a deza kI anupama sundarI brAhmaNa-kanyA nandazrI ko apanI bAhulatA banA laayaa| kosalendra kI ikalautI bahana kosalavatI ko byAha kara maiMne gagA-yamunA ke doAba kI sauMdhI hariyAlI mATI ko AliMganabaddha karane kA sukha paayaa| Upara se dahez2a meM pAye kAzI-kosala ke eka vizAla bhUkhaNDa para merA vijaya dhvaja bhI gar3a gyaa| hara bhUmi aura usakA sArAMzinI sundarI ko aMkastha karane kA sukha maiM eka sAtha pAtA calA gyaa| ujjayinI kI janapada-kalyANI padmAvatI kA hRdaya apane rUpa aura pratApa se jIta kara, use maiMne rAjagRhI meM lA bsaayaa| mAlave kI usa parama madulA kAlI lacIlI mATI meM apane teja ko sIMca kara, usakI kokha meM

Page #275
265 eka ananya pratibhAzAlI putra utpanna kiyaa| isa prakAra purANa-prasiddha mAlava kI bhUmijA ko bAhubaddha karake maiMne use magadha kI mATI meM samo dene kA akathya vijayollAsa anubhava kiyA / aura antataH samakAlIna vizva kI ziromaNi mahAnagarI vaizAlI kI anaMga-jayinI beTI celanA ko apanI aMkazAyinI banA laayaa| aura yoM maiMne pRthvI ke sarvopari gaNataMtra kI svAtaMtryavAhinI havA ko apane sIne meM giraphtAra kara liyA / aura Aja durjaya svAtaMtrya-garvI vaizAlI kI svataMtratA pala-pala magadhezvara zreNika kI talavAra tale tharatharA rahI hai / phira bhI kyA mujhe caina AyA? bhItara ke bhItara meM barAbara ho aisA ahasAsa hotA rahA, ki celanA samUcI mere bAhubaMdha meM vadha kara bhI, usase bAhara hI raha gaI hai| pRthvI aura samudra ke jAne kina aparikramAyita kaTibandhoM meM jAne kahA~-kahA~ khelane calI gayI hai| usakI A~khoM kI kAjalI gaharAiyoM meM, pUrva janmoM kI jAne kitanI hI dardIlI rAtoM ke dvArA khulate cale jAte haiN| unameM isa taraha betahAzA khotA calA jAtA hU~. ki dehaguMphana ke sAre kinAre hAtha se chaTate cale jAte haiN| eka antahIna AtmavismRti meM DUbatA calA jAtA huuN| para pAra meM utara kara yAda ke jisa taTa para apane ko khar3A pAtA hU~, vahA~ celanA kahIM nahIM hotI hai| eka ajIba asamaMjasa meM hotA hU~, ki yahA~ jo ekAkI upasthita hai, vaha maiM hU~. yA celanA hai, yA koI aura hI hai ? koI ho, kyA farka par3atA hai| __ taba merI khoja vahA~ kaise ruka sakatI thI / - u. acInhe videzI taToM kI jala-velAe~ hRdaya meM TIsa uThatIM, jinake mudUra goroM meM celanA ko kho jAte dekhatA thaa| * * lagatA thA ki yaha celanA eka nahIM, dezadezAntaroM kI anaginata sundariyA~ eka sAtha haiN| * *aura unameM se hareka ko apane sparza kI Thosa pakar3a meM liye binA kaise caina A sakatA hai . . ! . ___ aura taba nAnA deza aura nAnA veza meM, merI chupI jala-yAtrAe~ aura antarikSa yAtrAe~ hotI thiiN| magadha, aMga, vatsa aura avantI ke sArthanAhoM ke jahAz2oM para car3ha kara, jAnI huI pRthvI ke hara kaTibandha ko parikramA kara AyA / hara taTa kI anupama lAvaNyA kumArikA ko hara laayaa| magadha ke upAnta bhAgoM meM tAmralipti, suvarNa-dvIpa, haMsadvIpa, misra, mahAcIna. yUnAna aura pArasya kI sundariyoM ke apane-apane harmya aura udyAna bana gye| * * * jAne kitanI hI mAdhavI sandhyAoM meM, una udyAnoM kI sphaTika-chanoM para apane sapanoM ke sAtha mana-mAnA khelA huuN| lekina kyA phira bhI jI kI kasaka ko virAma mila sakA hai. . . ? yAda AtA hai vasanta kA vaha kokila-kUjita aparAnha / jaba nIla nadI ke deza kI bAsinI eka bAlA ke harmya-upavana meM usake sAtha, pArijAta

Page #276
266 vana meM vihAra kara rahA thaa| tabhI vaizAlI kA eka ajJAta-nAma kavi-citrakAra, acAnaka kisI gandharva kI taraha sAmane A khar3A huaa| usake anadhikArapraveza ko TokaH sarvaM, usase pahale hI usane eka citrapaTa cupacApa mere sammukha anAvarita kara diyaa| jAne kisa chaThavIM iMdriya se turanta pahacAna gayA, are, yaha to AmrapAlI hai ! vahI AmrapAlI, jisakI lAvaNya-prabhA se jambUdvIpa ke diganna jhalamalA rahe haiN| aura jo merA pratipala kA divA-svapna ho uThI hai ina dinoM / aura taba kavi ne AmrapAlI ke saundarya kA jayagAna, jisa rasavidagdha vANI meM kiyA, usake darada ne mere astitva ke mUloM ko hilA diyaa| * vipula mahAmUlya puraskAra pA kara kavi-rUpadakSa calA gyaa| nIla nadI kI nIlAginI bAlA merI antara-pIra ko thAhane meM viphala, udAsa ho rahI / maiM cupacApa atyanta unmana ho kara apane mahAlaya lauTa AyA / . . hAya hAyarI, merI niyati-naTI vaizAlI ! celanA kI coTa kyA mujhe tar3apAne ko kama thI, ki tUne eka aura citrapaTa khola kara, mere cira vikala citta ko yaha AkhirI coTa de dI : AmrapAlI ! isa uccATana ke bAda pRthvI para mere pairoM kA TikAva jaise antima rUpa se samApta ho gayA / ___ abhaya ne phira merI unmana udAsa bhaTakanoM ke ekAntoM ko tAr3a liyA / bAra-bAra usakI sahAnubhUti se kAtara binatI bharI A~kha mere caha ora pherI detI dikhAI pdd'iiN| * Akhira usane mere marama kI isa pIra kA bheda bhI jAna hI to liyaa| 'cintA na kareM vApU, rAjagRhI kI vilAsa-sandhyAe~ aba aura sUnI nahIM rheNgii| unake camelI-vAtAyana para aisI eka loka-kalyANI khar3I dikhAyI par3egI, ki sau AmrapAliyA~ pAnI bhara jAyeM. . .!' aura taba aiMdrajAlika abhaya rAjakumAra magadha kI lAvaNya-khAni meM se, eka apUrva saundarya-ratna khoja laayaa| sAlavatI / * nIlakAnti prAsAda ke mANikyavAtAyana para jisa sA~jha pahalI bAra sAlavatI phUloM bharI ArUr3ha huI, usa kSaNa mAno lokAkAza meM eka dUsare hI candramA kA udaya huaa| phAlgunI pUrNimA kI usa pUrNa candrilA utsava-sandhyA meM sAre magadha kA prANa pAgala ho gyaa| pala bhara ko vaizAlI kI AmrapAlI bhI merI A~khoM meM phIkI par3a gyii| .. ___. usa sAlavatI ko apane aMgoM kI atyanta vizvasanIya pakar3a meM samUcA gaha kara bhI kyA mujhe caina AyA ? tana aura mana kI yAtrA, kisI dUsare tana aura mana meM jitanI dUra ho sakatI thI, hone meM koI kasara na rhii|

Page #277
267 usakI carama phala- zruti ke rUpa meM sAlavatI kI kokha se AryAvarta ko bhagavAna dhanvantarI kA eka aura avatAra bhale hI prApta ho gayA, para kyA mere prANa kI vikalatA ko virAma mila sakA ? ' dekhate-dekhate meM, sAre utsava kolAhala ke bIca bhI rAjagRhI kI madhu - mAlatI vilAsa sandhyAe~ phira mere liye kumhalA gii| sUnI ho gayIM / aura mantraNA - graha kI dIvAreM merI digvijaya ke nakzoM se adhikAdhika paTatI calI gii| magadha ke sAmrAjI nakkAr3oM ke yuddha ghoSa se dharatI ke garbha dahalane lage / vaizAlI - vijaya ke liye, yA AmrapAlI - vijaya ke liye : nahIM, nahIM, jAne hue jagata ke hara sImAnta para apanI digvijaya ke stambha gAr3a dene ke liye / pRthvI aura samudra ke chorAntoM kA atikramaNa kara jAne ke liye ! lekina mahAvIra, aise bhayaMkara aura anirvAra ho tuma, ki merI digvijaya ke hara diganta para tumhIM khar3e ho / pratikSaNa eka cunautI mere sAmane mazAla kI taraha jala rahI hai, ki isa digambara puruSa kA atikramaNa kara jAnA hogA ! para kaise ? mere antartama cetanA-kakSa meM eka svapna kI sIpI taira rahI hai / usameM banda motI kI tarala AbhA meM zAyada vizrAma mile / ambapAlI ke kezoM ke * su.bhita ambAvana bhItara pukAra uThe / aura usa rAta tAmralipti ke ratna-kalAdhara ne, hara zaiM ke liye banda ho gaye ambA ke kivAr3a khulavA liye| sAmane par3ate hI. una AlulAyita ghanasAra kezoM kI kastUrI chAyA meM sadA ke liye so jAne ko kaisA vivhala ho uThA thA / para hAya, mere pyAra ke usa kalpa-vana meM bhI tumhIM anirvAra khar3e mile, mahAvIra ! mAno tumheM pAye binA yahA~ kA koI saundarya, pyAra, sAmrAjya nahIM pAyA jA sakatA / sattA ke kaNa-kaNa para tumhArA ceharA chapA huA hai| tumheM pAye binA na celanA ko pAyA jA sakatA hai na AmrapAlI ko, na vaizAlI ko / " prAyaH hI celanA ke mukha se yahI sunatA rahA thA ki tuma mujhe vehada pyAra karate ho, varddhamAna ! tumhArI jisa vizvamohinI bhAva-bhaMgimA ko celanA dekha AyI thI, usakA varNana usake mu~ha se sunate-sunate maiM ApA hAra gayA thaa| bhara-bhara AyA thaa| bahuta gaharI ArdratA ke sAtha anubhava kiyA thA, ki saca hI tuma se adhika pyAra mujhe koI nahIM kara sakatA / tanmayatA ke kisI bhI kSaNa meM zreNika varddhamAna ho jAtA thA, aura varddhamAna zreNika / aura taba ghaMToMpaharoM tumhAre sAtha jAne kaisA hRdayahArI samvAda calatA rahatA thA / apanI iyattA ko kisI dUsare jIvita manuSya ke samakSa pahalI bAra visarjita ho jAte anubhava kiyA thA /

Page #278
268 isI se durdAnta tApasa ke rUpa meM jaba tuma pahalI bAra nAlandapAr3A ke upAnta meM dikhAyI par3e, to khabara milate hI apanI manomaNi celanA ke sAtha tumhAre zrIcaraNoM meM A upasthita huaa| para tumhArI nizcala nAsAgra . dRSTi kiMcit bhI vicalita na huii| tuma hamArI ora raMca bhI unmukha na hue| hamArI upasthiti kI bhI mAno tumane avahelanA kara dii| isase adhika zreNika kA apamAna aura marmachedana, koI jIvita sattA Aja taka na kara sakI thii| * * *jitanA hI adhika Ahata huA, utanA hI adhika tumhAre pAsa Ane ko phira-phira vivaza huaa| nAlanda kI tantuvAyazAlA meM phira hama tumhAre darzanArtha aaye| ajIba thI tumhArI vaha dhyaan-bhNgimaa| saikar3oM koM kI khar3akhar3AhaTa meM mAno tuma saMcarita the| bunakaroM ke sahasroM hAthoM meM daur3atI zaTaloM meM tuma khela rahe the| nirjIva yaMtroM ke usa kolAhalapUrNa karma-cakra meM tuma lAparavAha bAlaka kI taraha akAraNa hI krIr3A kara rahe the| aura apane usa niruddezya lIlA-khela meM hamAre pyAra aura pIra se umar3e hRdayoM ko tumane sahaja ho naz2arandAz2a kara diyaa| usake bAda bhI kitanI na bAra vaibhAra aura gRdhrakUTa kI hiMsra prANi saMkula bhayAvaha aTaviyoM meM, akelA bhI tumhAre kAyotsargalIna caraNoM meM paMToM Akara baiThA rahA / lekina tumhArI eka naz2ara taka pAne meM vaha magadhanAtha majabUra rahA, jisakA naz2arAnA ho jAne ko duniyA kI hara vibhUti tarasatI hai / magadhezvara ke sAmrAjI zramaNAgAroM ke Atithya ko tumane apanI eka marmIlI muskAna se ur3A diyaa| para rAjagahI ke parisaravartI jAne kitane hI grAmoM kI kanmazAlAoM kA anAmaMtrita mehamAna honA tumane adhika pasanda kiyaa| lohakAra, vaddhika, zinAkAra, julAhe, carmakAra, aura caMDakarmo cANDAla taka tumhAre manabhAvana mejabAna hone kA saubhAgya pA sake. lekina magadha ke sAmrAjI siMhadvAra para jhA~kanA taka tumheM maMjUra na ho skaa| celanA, nandazrI, kosalA, kSemA jaisI kesara-komalA mahArAniyA~ kaI-kaI dina vratI aura upAsI raha kara, aneka tapasyAe~ dhAraNa kara, hamAre rAjadvAroM meM mahAzramaNa varddhamAna kA dvArApekSaNa karatI thaka gii| lekina nigaMTha-nAthaputra ke hRdaya ko hamArI koI Arati, pukAra, pIra, prArthanA pivalA na sakI, chU taka na skii| phira bhI celanA, tumhArI hara avahelanA se adhikAdhika marmAhata ho kara, adhikAdhika tumhAre nikaTa miTatI hI calI gii| anya mahArAniyAM bhI apane hI antarAya-karma ko kosatI huIM, tumhArI ananta mahimA meM adhika dhika abhibhUta hotI calI gii| * * * lekina mAno zreNika ko tumane vilita hone se bhI vaMcita kara diyaa| mere vijita aham ke mUchita nAgacUr3a ko tumane phira apanI Thokara

Page #279
269 kI coTa se jgaayaa| tumheM yaha svIkArya nahIM thA, ki zreNika kA samrATatva tumhAre caraNoM meM samarpita ho vizrAma pA jAye, caina pA jaaye| mere bhItara ke, apane dvArA padamardita samrATa ko tumane hajAra gune adhika vega ke sAtha phira se jagAyA hai| merI iyattA aura asmitA ko, mere cakravartitva ke garva ko, phira tumane parAkASThA taka ubhArA hai| mujhe tumhAre caraNoM meM miTa jAne taka kI chuTTI nhiiN| kyA yahI hai mere liye tumhArA pyAra ? * eka mauna lalakAra hai mere saamne| ki mujhe tumhAre muqAbila khar3e rahanA hogaa| mujhe tumase TakarAnA hogaa| * samajha rahA hU~ videha-putra vaizAlaka, tuma mujhe yuddha dene Aye ho| apanI nagna kAyA ke kAyotsarga meM tane khar3ag kI dhAra se, tuma merI diganta-jayinI talavAra ke pAnI utAra dene Aye ho| svayam merI talavAra kI dhAra para cala kara, tuma mujhe hara pala cunautI de rahe ho ki, maiM tuma para prahAra karU~ ? apanI arakSita nagna deha ke piNDa rUpa meM sArI vaizAlI ko usakI samasta zakti aura aizvarya ke sAtha tumane merI bhUmi meM lA paTakA hai| aura mauna muskarA kara mujhe AhUta kara rahe ho ki : 'lo zreNika, yaha vaizAlI hai-tumhAre cakravartI sAmrAjya kI anivArya zarta / sAmarthya ho to isa para prahAra karo, qabjA kro| yaha khulI hai, aura prastuta hai, tumhAre saamne| isakI hRdayezvarI AmrapAlI tumhAre vizva-vijaya ke garvI vIrya ko parakhanA cAhatI hai| prahAra karo usa para / bhuvanezvaro ambA tumhAre bezarta samarpaNa se prasanna nahIM ho sktii| vaha tumhAre puruSa kI AkhirI coTa ko hI samarpita ho sakatI hai|' . . tuma mere vIrya kI bUMda-bUMda meM Aga lagA rahe ho, mahAvIra ! tumane mere mUlAdhAra meM supta kuMDalinI ko bhayaMkara padAghAta de kara jagA diyA hai| mere meru-daNDa meM divArAtri yaha mahAsarpiNI zakti kI sahasroM vidyutdhArAeM vana kara laharA rahI hai| bezaka, zarta laga gaI hai, ki tuma raho yA maiM rahU~. . . ? sAmrAjya tumhArA ho yA merA ho? AmrapAlI tumhArI ho yA merI ho ? celanA tumhArI ho yA merI ho ? mere merudaNDa ke myAna meM do talavAreM eka-dUsarI se guMtha rahI haiM, eka-dUsarI ko kATa rahI haiN| unheM paraspara kaTa kara eka ho jAnA hogaa| isa eka myAna meM do talavAreM nahIM raha sktiiN| lekina merI iyattA itanI aparAjeya aura durdAnta ho uThI hai, ki apanA miTanA aba mujhe kisI bhI taraha maMjUra nhiiN| apane hone, rahane, aaura karma karane kI anivAryatA ko Aja se adhika nagna, nizcala aura avikA maiMne kabhI anubhava na kiyaa| itihAsa kA yaha eka apUrva bhedI Sar3ayaMtra hai| zreNika ko isa cakravyUha kA bhedana

Page #280
270 karanA hogA / kyoMki yaha usake astitva kI zataM hai| yaha usako AtmA para carama AkrAnti hai| apane se zreSTa aura balavattara to maiMne Aja taka kisI ko nahIM jAnA / apane se Upara kisI ko svIkAranA merI Adata meM nhiiN| * mahAvIra, tuma merI hI bhUmi para aTala dhruva kI taraha khar3e ho kara, mujha se vaha svIkRti cAhate ho ? tuma mere aham kI samarpiti se santuSTa nahIM ho skte| use adhikatama udaMDAyamAna kara ke, usa para apane ko chApa denA cAhate ho| tumase bar3A merA zava deza aura kAla meM kabhI huA nahIM, hai nahIM, hogA nahIM / Aja kitane hI mahIne ho gaye, RjubAlikA nadI ke taTavartI isa jIrNa udyAna meM, zyAmAka gAthA pati ke isa zAli-kSetra meM, mAno sArI pRthvI se nirvAsita ho kara, vicara rahA huuN| usa mATI kI atala aMdhiyArI gaharAiyoM meM dhaMsa kara 'apane astitva ke liye saMgharSa kara rahA hU~, jisa para tuma nizcala mahAmeru kI taraha aparAjeya khar3e ho / isa mahAmeru ko hilA denA hogA, jIta lenA hogA, ukhAr3a kara pheMka denA hogA, varnA zreNika se jiyA nahIM jA skegaa| __ o dhruva, tumhAre rahate, maiM apanA nayA dhruva kaise sthApita kara sakatA hU~ ? antima dA~va laga cukA hai : tuma raho, yA maiM rahU~, yA koI na rhe| kevala satA rhe| zreNika parAjita honA nahIM jAnatA / vaha apane gantavya para pahu~ca kara rahegA / . .

Page #281
maiM hU~, ki nahIM hU~ bezaka, jAne hue jagata ke choroM taka bhaTaka AyA hU~ / pRthvI ke hara cappe para apanI mahimA ko aparAjeya pAyA hai| apane se bar3A yahA~ kucha bhI dekha nahIM sakA, pA nahIM skaa| phira bhI ajaba hai ki dina-dina choTA hI par3atA jA rahA huuN| vasundharA meM jo kucha darzanIya hai, vaha saba maiMne dekha liyaa| jo kucha bhogya hai, vaha saba maiMne bhoga liyA, jo kucha prAptavya hai, vaha saba kucha maiMne pA liyA, jo kucha jItavya hai, vaha saba kucha maiMne jIta liyA / / lekina kyA bAta hai, ki apane ko ekadama khAlI, aura khokhalA pA rahA huuN| merI atRpti kA anta nahIM / merI durdAma vAsanA, kucale hue zeSanAga ke phana ko taraha, yahAM Akara bhUluMThita par3I hai, isa nagna nirIha puruSa ke pairoM tale kI miTTI cATa rahI hai| isase bar3A apamAna merA kyA ho sakatA hai ? isase bar3I mAna-hAni jagata meM kisI kI kyA ho sakatI hai ? eka rajakaNa, tRNa yA patige kI bhI apanI yahA~ iyattA hai| magara jagajjayI zreNika apanI usa asmitA taka se vaMcita ho gayA hai| ujAgara rahanA usake liye asAdhya ho gayA hai, aura apanA muMha chupAne ke liye oTa pAnA bhI Aja usake liye muhAla hai / apanI itanI bar3I hAra ko le kara astitva meM kaise rahU~, yahI Aga praznoM kA prazna hai mere sAmane / jala, sthala, AkAza meM kahIM Thaharane ko mere liye jagaha nhiiN| RjubAlikA nadI ke isa taTa para, zyAmAka gAthApati ke isa ujar3e udyAna meM, dharatI ke sAtha ekIbhUta ho gaye isa avadhUta ke acala paMkila caraNoM meM bhUsAta ho rahane ke sivA, aura koI gati zreNika ko nahIM rahI ? mahAmaMDalezvara zreNika kI puNya-prabhA kabhI kahIM chupI na raha sko| lekina Aja usakI pahacAna kho gaI hai| dina ke bharapUra ujAle meM bhI duniyA kI koI A~kha use pahacAna nahIM sakatI / sAre jagata kI A~khoM se vaha ojhala ho gayA hai, sabakI nigAhoM meM vaha kho gayA hai| magadha jaise parAkrAnta sAmrAjya kA paricakra bhI use khoja lAne meM hAra mAna gayA hai| sArI pRthvI se nirvAsita ho kara,

Page #282
272 vaha Aja kaI-kaI mahInoM se isa akiMcana tApasa ke caTTAnastha caraNoM meM TakaTakI lagAye baiThA hai / * ki kaise ina pairoM ko apanI bhUmi para se ukhAr3a kara, apanI vizvajayI hastI ko phira se qAyama kara sakU~ / magara koI upAya nahIM hai| apanI antima hAra kI isa mahAvedanA meM apane samUce bhUtakAla ko duharA rahA huuN| phira se usake hara pala ko jI rahA huuN| aura apane vigata jIvana ke isa siMhAvalokana meM pAtA hU~, ki apane ko kabhI kisI se choTA to zreNika meM jAnA hI nhiiN| smRti jAgane ke pahale dina se Aja taka, zreNika manuSyoM ke bIca sadA sarvopari rahA, sarvazreSTa rahA, sarvajyeSTha rahA / yAda ke pahale kSaNa se pAtA hU~, sabase bar3A, zreSTha aura aparAjeya hI rahA huuN| sabase bar3A hI janmA, sabase Upara hI sadA jiyA / jIvana ke prathama prabhAta se aba taka kI eka-eka ghaTanA yAda A rahI hai| usa pUre itihAsa meM apanI mahimA ko sarvatra ajita, akSuNNa aura aparAjeya hI dekhatA huuN| __ kuzAgrapura ke rAjA upazreNika prasenajita mere pitA the| aise durdaNDa mahAbanI ki unake eka bhranikSepa para hI, aneka narapati aura rAjya unake mANDalika ho rahe / jisa bhUmi ko unhoMne jItA, usakI zreSTha sundariyA~ unakI antaHpurikAeM ho rahIM / unake aneka rAjaputroM meM eka maiM bhI thaa| aise apratihata pathvIpati kA Adhipatya svIkArane ko, abhimAnI rAjA somazarmA ne inakAra kara diyaa| prasenajita ke aham ko coTa de sake, aisA to koI jagata meM janmA nhiiN| mahArAja-pitA svayama eka choTA-sA sainya lekara somazarmA para car3ha dhaaye| cukaTI bajAte meM candrapurAdhIzvara somazarmA ko parAjita kara, bandI banA laaye| sasammAna use apane darabAra meM mANDalika pada para abhiSikta kiyaa| prakaTataH somazarmA ne Adhipatyi svIkArA / lekina uma hAra ke kA~Te ne use caina na lene diyA / apane rAjya meM lauTa kara somazarmA ne upazreNika ko bheMTa svarUpa kaI mahAgha vastue~ bhejiiN| unameM eka azva-ratna bhI thaa| lekina kuTila thA yaha ghor3A, aura sIkha ke anusAra zatru ko mRtyu-mukha meM Dhakela detA thaa| upazreNika ghor3e ke bhavya vAhana-rUpa para mugdha ho, eka dina usa para car3ha kara akele hI jaMgala meM AkheTa ko nikala pdd'e| ghor3A rAjA ko ajJAta dizA meM ur3A le gyaa| mahArAja-pitA ne pAyA ki vaha unakI valgA ke kAbU se " bAhara ho cukA hai| * "eka vIhar3a aTavI meM pahu~ca kara ghor3e ne rAjA ko kisI gahare a~dhere gavhara meM girA diyA aura campata ho gyaa| coTa se karAhate rAjA kI AvAz2a suna kara , pAsa se gujara rahe eka yamadaNDa nAmA kirAtapati ne unheM bAhara nikaalaa| rAjapuruSa ke yogya sammAnapUrvaka unheM apane ghara livA

Page #283
273 lA kara apanI vidyunmatI nAmA rAnI kI sevA-surakSA meM rakha diyaa| usa avadhi meM bhIlarAja kI putrI tilakamatI kI sukomala sevA-zuzrUSA aura madhura rasavatI ke bhojana se rAjA ne apUrva svAsthya aura navajIvana kA anubhava kiyA / .. ___ aise pratApI rAjA ko apanI putrI ke prati anurakta jAna bhIlarAja gadagad ho gyaa| tilaka ke pANigrahaNa ko udyata upazreNika ke samakSa yamadaNDa ne zarta rakkhI ki yadi tilakamatI kA putra kuzAgrapura kI gaddI kA vArisa ho sake, to rAjA saharSa use byAha le jaayeN|* * *aura yoM tilakamatI kuzAgrapura kI paTTamahiSI ho gii| yathAkAla usakI kokha se cilAti nAmA putra janmA : vizAla kuzAgrapura rAjya kA bhAvI raajaa|| __anaginatI rAjaputroM ke bIca maiM kisase bar3A yA choTA thA, yAda nhiiN| itanA hI yAda hai ki una saba ke bIca sabase bar3A hI dikhAI par3atA thaa| DIla-Daula kaisA thA, kitanA balazAlI thA, isakI bhI koI kalpanA nahIM / lekina spaSTa dekhatA hU~ Aja bhI, ki saba se U~cA aura anahonA thaa| kaI muNDoM ke bIca Upara uThA apanA taruNa bhavya mastaka aura maidAnasA vistRta lalATa Aja bhI dekha pAtA hU~ / AsamAna ko cunautI detA haharAte jaMgala-sA unnatha mAthA / aura caur3e vRSabha-skandhoM para jhUlatI alakAvaliyoM meM jaise hAtho lUmate-jhUmate calate the| kheloM meM ho, ki ghur3adaur3a meM ho, ki bhedI bhayAvane jaMgaloM meM rAstA khojane kI hor3a meM ho, ki nadI santaraNa meM ho, ki durlabha ko pA lene ke dAvoM meM ho, ki pahAr3a aura nadiyA~ lA~ghane kI pratispardhAoM meM ho, ki malla-vidyA meM ho, ki bhayAnaka alaMghya ko lAMghanephA~dane meM ho, sAre hI sAhasoM aura parAkramoM meM saba se Age ajeya aura Upara hI dIkhatA thaa| - bhIla-rAnI kA jAyA, behada lAr3oM meM lAlita-pAlita cilAti merI isa balavattA aura garimA ko dekha kara ro-ro detA thaa| anya rAjaputra Aye dina kI merI vijayoM para jaba merA jayajayakAra karate, to cilAti IrSyA se jala kara bilabilAtA huA apanI kirAtinI paTarAnI mA~ aura mahArAja upazreNika kI godI meM jA dubakatA aura taraha-taraha se merI jhUThI cagaliyA~ khAtA, zikAyateM karatA / ___ mahArAja-pitA bhArI cintA meM par3a gaye / ujAgara rUpa se uddaNDa pratApI yuvarAja zreNika ke sammukha hote, dIna-durbala cilAti ko kuzAgrapura kI gahI para kaise baiThAyA jA sakatA hai| mana hI mana ve chIjane lage ki sA~valIsalaunI tilakamatI ko diyA vacana kaise pUrA ho / buddhimAna maMtriyoM ne upAya sujhAyA ki gaddIdhara kI pAtratA kA nirNaya karane ke liye rAjaputroM kI parIkSA

Page #284
274 lI jaaye| aura usa daurAna aneka dAMva-peMcoM se zreNika ko ayogya ThaharA diyA jaaye| anya rAjaputroM ko to saMtameta meM ur3A diyA jaayegaa| so kaI parIkSAoM kA Ayojana huaa| __ pahalI parIkSA yaha huI ki sAre rAjaputroM ko eka sAtha bhojana para baiThA kara unake sAmane pAyasAnna ke thAla dhara diye gye| jaba saba kumAra khAne lage, to una para vyAghra kI taraha muMha phAr3a kara Ate zvAna chor3a diye gye| anya rAjakumAra to tatkAla bhayArta ho kara bhAga khar3e hue| para maiM akelA bahuta hI ArAma-itamInAna se baiThA bhojana karatA rhaa| maiM anya chUTe hue thAloM meM se thor3A-thor3A pAyasAnna zvAnoM ko detA rahA / zvAna use cATane meM mazagUla ho rahe, aura maiM apane bhojana meM avicala tallIna ho rahA / dekhakara mahArAja pitA svayaM mugdha-vismita ho rahe / prakaTataH bole ki nizcaya hI yaha zreNika kumAra hara kisI upAya-cAturI se zatruoM kA nirodha kara sakegA, aura nirbhaya bhAva se pRthvI ko bhogegaa| eka aura bAra acAnaka aisA huA ki mahArAja ne saba kumAroM ko ekatrita kara modaka se bhare karaMDaka aura pAnI se bhare ghar3e mudrita karavA kara, sabake sAmane prastuta kara diye| phira rAjAjJA huI ki ina karaMDakoM meM se mudrA tor3e binA hI modaka khAo, aura ina ghar3oM meM se binA chidra kiye hI pAnI piyo / anya sAre rAjaputra hatabuddhi, gumasuma, kiMkartavya vimUr3ha ho tAkate raha gye| mujhe jAne kyA sUjhA ki maiMne modakoM ke karaMDakoM ko khUba joroM se hilA-hilA kara, modakoM kA cUrA kara DAlA / taba karaMDoM kI khipacciyoM meM se khirA-khirA kara modaka-cUrNa premapUrvaka khAne lgaa| usake bAda , cAMdI ke stavaka jala bhare ghar3oM ke nIce rakha kara, mATI ke chidroM meM se sahaja jhara rahe jala ko ekatra kara use sukhapUrvaka pIne lgaa| mahArAja upazreNika gadgada svara meM mukhara ho uThe : 'nizcaya hI zreNika kumAra eka dina apanI kuzAgra sUjhabUjha se abhedya ko bheda kara, kuzAgrapura ko sarvopari rAjasattA banA degaa|' ekadA kuzAgrapura meM bAraMbAra agni kA upadrava hone lgaa| taba mahArAja prasenajita ne AghoSaNA karavAI ki : 'Age se isa nagara meM, jisake bhI ghara meM pahale Aga lagegI, use rogI U~Ta kI taraha nagara meM se nikAla bAhara kiyA jaayegaa|' yogAyoga ki eka dina rasoiye ke pramAda se hamAre rAjamahAlaya kI pAkazAlA meM se hI Aga kI lapaTeM phUTa pdd'iiN| jaba agni-jvAlAe~ niyaMtraNa se bAhara ho, cAroM ora phaila calIM, taba rAjA ne apane kumAroM ko AjJA dI ki :

Page #285
275 'isa ghar3I mere mahala meM se, jo koI kumAra, jo bhI vastu nikAla le jAyegA, vahI usakI apanI sampadA ho jaayegii| sabhI rAjaputra apanI-apanI ruci ke anusAra aneka mahAmUlya vaibhavasAmagriyAM lekara bhAga nikle| lekina vicitra thI merI khopar3I, ki maiM eka bhambhA-vAdya le kara use phUMkatA huA, sare rAha nagara se bAhara ho gyaa| rAjA ne mujhe pakar3a bulavA kara pUchA : __'zreNika beTe, durmUlya ratna-khajAne chor3a kara, tU bhalA yaha tuccha bhambhA-vAdya le kara kyoM nikala par3A hogA ?' maiMne kahA : 'tAta, yaha bhambhA-vAdya rAjAoM kA sarvaprathama jaya-cinha hai| isako phUMkane para rAjAoM kI digvijaya meM mahAna maMgala hotA hai| isI se kisI bhI rAjA ko sarvaprathama isI kI rakSA karanI cAhiye / ' . .' mere mukha se isa mahecchA kA udghoSa suna kara mahArAja prakaTataH bar3e prasanna garva se bole : 'jAna par3atA hai, upazreNika ke vaMza meM cakravartI samrATa kA janma ho cukA hai| nizcaya hI zreNika kumAra digvijaya kregaa| maiM Aja se isakA nAma zreNika bhambhAsAra ghoSita karatA huuN|' kuzAgrapura ke rAjabhavana ko isa bhayAnaka agni-kANDa se bacAne ke sAre upAya niSphala ho rahe the| pAnI kI bauchAroM dvArA bAhara se Aga avazya bujhI laga rahI thI, para bhItara ke bhAgoM meM vaha anivArya rUpa se gaharI aura adhikAdhika vinAzaka hotI calI jA rahI thii| mAno ki koI daivI prakopa huA ho, aura sAre kuzAgrapura ke bhUgarbha meM jaise koI jvAlAmukhI andara hI andara dhadhaka rahA ho / daivajJa brAhmaNoM ne nirNaya prastuta kiyA, ki zAnti ke anuSThAna meM devI Adeza prApta huA hai ki : 'jo kuzAgrapura kA bhAvI rAjA ho, vaha jalate rAjabhavana meM ghusa kara yadi rAjasiMhAsana ko surakSita nikAla lAye, to vipala mAtra meM hI agni-devatA zAnta ho jaayeNge|' taba maiM qataI nahIM jAnatA thA ki yaha mere viruddha Ayojita Sar3ayaMtroM kI eka suniyojita zRMkhalA thii| aura aba jaba maiM sArI parIkSAoM meM aparAjeya rUpa se saphala siddha ho cukA thA, to yaha antima parIkSA mujhe jIte jI jalA dene kA hI eka acUka Sar3ayaMtra thaa| apane rAjyAbhiSeka ke bAda hI, maiM variSTha rAjamaMtriyoM ke muMha se ina gapta durabhisaMdhiyoM kI sArI lomaharSaka vArtA suna sakA thA / ___ maiM svabhAva se hI bahuta bholA aura sIdhA thaa| taba to meM isakI gandha bhI nahIM pA sakA thA, ki koI vyavasthita parIkSAoM kA krama cala rahA hai / atyanta nirIha, abodha, apane meM hI khoyA-khoyA apane ekAntoM meM

Page #286
276 vicaratA rahatA thaa| merI mAM bhI merI hI taraha sarala aura lagabhaga ajJAninIsI thii| mere parAkrama aura vijaya kI vArtAeM suna kara vaha harSa se ro AtI aura mujhe godI meM cA~pa kara mauna-mauna hI cumbanoM se DhA~ka detii| use bhI qataI nahIM mAlUma thA ki usakA prANAdhika priya putra rAjapitA kI rAha kA ror3A ho gayA thaa| aura use ukhAr3a pheMkane meM sAre rAjacakra kI zakti saMlagna aura kendrita ho gaI thii| maiM kucha itanA nirmoha aura beparvAha bhI thA, ki mA~ kI lAr3a-pyAra bharI bA~hoM aura kror3a ke sAre baMdhana jhaTaka kara, qhataroM aura saMkaToM kI Toha meM hI mujhe maz2A AtA thaa| cahu~ ora jvAlAoM se AkrAnta rAjabhavana meM praveza kara rAjasiMhAsana ko akSata bacA lAne kI AghoSaNA jaba huI, taba bhI mere hRdaya meM rAjyA'dhikAra pAne kI koI vAsanA rahI ho, aisA to raMca bhI yAda nahIM AtA / itanA hI yAda AtA hai, ki yaha cunautI mujhe bhayAnaka rUpa se AkarSaka aura anirvAra lagI thii| anya sAre hI kumAra ise suna kara tharrA uThe the, aura mu~ha bacA kara apanI-apanI rAha bhAga nikale the| mujhe eka ajIba kautuka -kautUhala kA bodha huA, aura mere mana meM eka maz2Aqa kA aThAsa-sA gUMja uThA / maiM cupacApa khisaka kara nagara ke eka zastra-zilpI lohakAra ke yahA~ / calA gyaa| use apanA eka mahAmUlya muktAhAra de kara, usase pUre zarIra kA eka phaulAdI kavaca aura zirastrANa prApta kara laayaa| * agale dina bar3I bhora hI, kavaca tathA ziroTopa se sajjita ho kara, pichale dvAra se rAjabhavana meM dhaMsa gayA, aura aneka prakoSThoM aura upadvAroM ko maraNAntaka saMgharSa ke sAtha pAra karatA, rAjAsabhA-gRha meM pahuMca gyaa| suvarNa kA rAjasiMhAsana aba bhI lapaToM kI chAyA meM achUtA par3A thaa| mAno ki mujha meM koI paizAcika zakti bephAma udvelita ho rahI thii| eka hI chalAMga meM siMhAsana para jA kUdA, aura donoM hAthoM se use mastaka para dhAraNa kara mukhya rAjadvAra se bAhara AtA dikhAI pdd'aa| palaka mArate meM sAre kuzAgrapura nagara kI prajA vaha dRzya dekhane ko upasthita ho gii| haz2AroM naranArI ke azru-vigalita kaNThoM kI jayakAroM ne mujhe DhA~ka diyaa| siMhAsana mastaka se utAra kara maiMne mahArAja pitA ke caraNoM meM arpita kara diyaa| mahArAja ne apane gAr3ha AliMga meM mAno mujhe kucala-kucala diyaa| unake usa nigar3ha vAtsalya-pIr3ana kA vaha romAMcana, mere romoM meM Aja bhI eka adbhuta rahasya kI phuraharI paidA kara detA hai| ve mujhe AliMgana meM mauta denA cAhate the, yA amara jIvana kA AzISa, yaha maiM Aja bhI bUjha nahIM pAtA huuN|

Page #287
277 'jisake ghara meM agni prakaTa ho, use nagara tyAga kara cale jAnA hogaa|' svayam apanI hI isa rAjAjJA ke anusAra mahArAja upazreNika prasenajita ne nagara-tyAga kara diyaa| apane samasta rAjaparikara sahita, ve nagara se eka yojana dUra, pUrvAraNya meM chAvanI DAla kara basa gaye / kuzAgrapura ke prajAjana Aye dina mahArAja ke darzanArtha chAvanI meM jAte rahate / ve kisI saMjJA ke abhAva meM rAjA ke isa naye ghara ko 'rAjagRha' kaha kara pukArane lge| nA kucha samaya meM hI vahA~ rAjagRha nAma kA eka suramya nagara basa gyaa| prAcIra, parikhA, durga, aneka bhavya prAsAdoM, udyAnoM, antarAyaNoM, cauka-caurAhoM se vaha sajjita ho gyaa| __ saba vyavasthita ho jAne para, eka dina mahAmaMtrI yazovijaya ne mujhe ekAnta meM le jAkara samajhAyA ki apane bala-parAkrama aura buddhimattA se maiMne jo apanA rAjyAdhikAra siddha kara dikhAyA hai, usase sAre hI rAjaputra mere zatru ho uThe haiN| kirAtinI-putra cilAti ke netRtva meM ve saba mila kara mujhe mArane kA SaDyaMtra raca rahe haiN| mahArAja upazreNika cUMki mujhe hI siMhAsana kA yogya adhikArI mAnate haiM, isa kAraNa merI prANa-rakSA ke lie ve atyanta cintita haiN| isI se mahArAja kA yaha prastAva hai ki maiM kucha kAla ke lie cupacApa videza-gamana kara jAU~ / rAjyArohaNa kA ThIka muhUrta Ane para mujhe bulA liyA jAyegA / maiM yaha saba sunakara hatabuddhi, ThagA-sA raha gyaa| mAnoM mujhe kucha bhI samajha meM nahIM A rahA thaa| maMtrIzvara pravAsa-kharca ke liye mujhe dene ko vipula suvarNa-rala kI thAtI lAye the| use lene ko merI antara-AtmA ne inakAra diyaa| usakI ora maiMne A~kha uThA kara bhI nahIM dekhaa| binA eka bhI zabda kahe, maiM kSaNa mAtra meM vahA~ se campata ho gyaa| maMtrIzvara kA vidyuta vegI ghor3A bhI phira merI gamana-dizA kA koI anusandhAna na pA skaa| . . * * * yAtrA kI rAha meM jisa bhI pura, pattana, nagara, grAma se guz2arA, sarvatra hI vijaya aura lakSmI merA varaNa karane ko jayamAlA liye sAmane AyI / mere bala, buddhi, parAkrama ke aneka prAsaMgika karizmoM se nara-nArIjana mugdha-cakita raha jaate| merI rAha meM sArI vasudhA kI sampadA aura vibhUtiyA~ Akara pdd'tiiN| para merA mana itanA virakta, udAsa aura ruSTa ho gayA thA, ki kAMcana aura kAminI ke sAre pralobhanoM ko apanI eka khAmoza citavana se ThukarA kara, apanI rAha para niruddezya, nirvRdva bar3hatA hI calA jaataa| * * * ekadA veNAtaTa nagarI ke rAjapurohita somazarmA ke yahA~ mehamAna huaa| unake kAraNa vahA~ ke rAja-darabAra meM bhI bhArI sammAna paayaa| merI sUjha

Page #288
278 bUjha se vahAM kI aneka rAjakIya gutthiyA~ sulajha giiN| vahAM ke aMjanagiri parvata para sthita sahasrakUTa caityAlaya ke vajra-kapATa Aja taka koI kholane meM samartha na ho sakA thaa| mere lalATa ke sparza mAtra se ve kapATa khula gaye / usa kAraNa rAjya meM apUrva puNya aura aizvarya prakaTa huaa| veNAtaTa kI rAjaputriyA~ mujha para nichAvara huiiN| para merI hRdaya-guhA kA bhedana karane meM koI saundarya, koI sampadA kAragara na ho skii| * isase pUrva kI yAtrA meM bhI kitane na mukuTa majhe jhake, kitanI na rUpa-yauvana kI rAziyA~ mere caraNoM meM bichiiN| para mere hRdayapadma para kuNDalI mAra kara baiThe ahaM-puruSa ke nAgacUr3a ko koI Tasa se masa na kara skaa| * * * lekina veNAtaTa nagara ke rAjapurohita aura mere Atitheya somazarmA kI putrI nandazrI ne hAra nahIM maanii| jagata ke sAre garvI puruSArthoM ke unnata mastakoM ke Upara, usane mere mastaka ko mRtyu kI taraha aTala, bhayAnaka aura uttAna dekhaa| apane usa svapna-darzana ko, usane mujhe eka dina ekAnta meM kaha sunAyA / apanI AtmA kI gufA meM se vaha mAno AkAzavANI taraha bola uThI : ___ 'devAnupriya atithi, maiMne prAtaH sAyaM kI aneka sandhyAoM meM tumheM giri-zRMgoM para aSTApada kI garimA se chalAMga bharate dekhA hai| jagata ke sAre vijetAoM aura yoddhAoM ko tumhAre pAdaprAnta meM paMktibaddha vAmanoM kI taraha hatateja, parAjita, sara jhukAe khar3e dekhA hai| * brAhmaNabAlA nandazrI tumhAre usa AgAmI cakravartI siMhAsana ke arddhabhAga kI adhikAriNI honA nahIM caahtii| mata karo tuma merA varaNa, mata byAho mujhe| kevala eka bAra bharapUra merI ora dekho| aura apane caraNoM kI raja mujhe de jaao| phira cAhe kahIM jAo, cAhe kucha karo, cAho to mujhe bhUla jaao| para maiM antima zvAsa taka tumhArI kuMvArI rAnI ho kara rhuuNgii| . .' suna kara mere bhItara kA parvata-vIrya pasIja aayaa| usa sAndhya dvAbhA meM bharapUra maiM usa padmAbha bAlA kI anantabharI citavana meM dekha utthaa| usakI donoM Ayatta kRSNa-kamala A~khoM meM usake atala ke do A~sU ujala aaye| aura vaha mere pairoM meM kalpa-latA sI lipaTa kara phUTa pdd'ii| .. veNAtaTa nagarI kI rAjasabhA meM zreNika ke teja, gaurava aura dedIpyamAna pauruSa ko dekhane ke lie, sAre dakSiNAvarta ke tejodhara aura vaitADhya giri ke vidyAdhara cakkara kATate the| nandazrI kI candanI AMcala-chA~va meM sapanoM kI taraha jAne kitanA kAla bIta gayA / isa bIca mere anajAne hI, mere pratApa aura parAkrama kI kIrtigAthAe~ havAoM para car3ha kara uttarAvarta ke sudUra pUrvIya choroM taka bhI pahu~ca

Page #289
279 gayIM thIM / * eka sA~jha godhUli belA meM, rAjasI dalabala sahita eka bhavya rAjaratha hamAre dvAra para A khar3A huA / sArathI ne eka sandeza patra mere sammukha prastuta kiyaa| usameM likhA thA ki rAjagRhI ke mahArAja upazreNika prasenajita mRtyu zaiyA para merI pratIkSA kara rahe haiN| maiM jahA~ bhI hU~, vahA~ se tatkAla isa pavana-vegI ratha para car3ha kara calA AU~ / rAjagRhI ke paMcazaila zreNika ko pukAra rahe haiM / Adi / mujhe lene Aye rAja-sevakoM ne yaha bhI batAyA ki, aba se eka varSa pUrva asvastha hone para mahArAja upazreNika ne cilAti ko gaddI para baiThAyA thaa| para usa uddaNDa garvIle kirAtinI-putra ne nA kucha samaya meM hI qahara barapA kara diyaa| usake atyAcAroM se prajA trAhimAm pukAra rahI hai / rAjagRhI kI jAe~ zreNika bhaMbhAsAra ko guhAra rahI haiN| maiMne niyati ke isa aTala vidhAna ko par3ha liyA / turanta nandA aura rAjapurohita somazarmA ko saMkSepa meM sArI sthiti kA samyak bodha karA diyA / 'usa rAta nandazrI ke bhItara kI gahana marmaguhA meM jahA~ maiM samarpita huA, vahA~ eka alaukika teja kI zalAkA khar3I dekhii| usa kSaNa jIvana meM pahalI bAra eka nArI ke pagatala ko cUma lene ko maiM akulA uThA / para mere pauruSa-garva ne mujha para eka argalA sI DAla dI / prAtaHkAla prasthAna kI belA meM mAno nandazrI naye sire se merA paricaya pUcha uThI / una mauna-mugdha nayanoM meM maiMne par3hA : 'panthI, phira kaba lauToge ? o atithi, apanA nAma-gA~va, patA to batA jAo ! ' nandA ke kuntala chAye kandhe para hAtha rakha kara maiMne itanA hI kahA : 'devI, jahA~ kI ujjvala bhIteM amAvasyA kI rAta meM bhI cA~danI-sI camakatI haiM, usI rAjagRhI nagarI kA maiM gopAla hU~ / ' aura palaka jhapakAte meM merA ratha uttarApatha ke mArga para ArUr3ha ho gayA / 'mere Agamana kA saMvAda dUra se hI sunakara, rAjagRhI nagarI navelI vadhU-sI saja kara jayamAlA liye prastuta huI / para usa sAre gaurava sammAna kI avahelA kara, maiM cupacApa pichale dvAra se rAjamahAlaya meM praveza kara sIdhA roga-zayArUr3ha mahArAja-pitA ke samakSa jA upasthita huA / jIrNa-zIrNa rAjA pazcAtApa kI vyathA meM rAta-dina jala rahe the| mujhe sAmane pAte hI ve caitanya se ho Aye / ekAeka uTha baiThe aura bA~heM phailA kara ARRnda karate-se mAnoM unhoMne mere pairoM para Dhalaka AnA caahaa| maiMne unheM uThA kara AliMgana meM bAMdha, bahuta mudatA se zaiyA para liTA diyaa| unake caraNa-sparza ko ubata

Page #290
280 sA ho AyA merA lalATa, jAne kyoM mRtyu kI usa carama sAkSI meM bhI jhuka na skaa| anamya zreNika ke isa aham para merI anAvila AtmA bhI dahala kara kAtara ho aayii| rAjapitA ke lAlaTa para maiMne antima AzvAsana kI hathelI rakha dii| aura apalaka merI ora dekhatI unakI ve donoM A~kheM, do A~sU DhalakA kara nispanda ho gii| ___ mana hI mana maiMne unheM kSamA kara diyA thaa| aura usakA acUka bodha pA kara ve nizcinta bhAva se deha-tyAga kara gye| daivajJoM ne bAda meM batAyA, ki merI hathelI ke sparza mAtra se rAjA kI AtmA uttama devagati meM ArUr3ha kara gyii| * * * tatkAla rAjyAbhiSeka ke dundubhi-ghoSa, turahiyA~, ghaMTArava aura zaMkhanAda guMjAyamAna ho utthe| * * * siMhAsana para ArUr3ha hote samaya anubhava huA, ki maiM siMhAsana ke pAsa nahIM AyA hU~, svayam siMhAsana mere pagadhAraNa ko prastuta huA hai| udhara mere pIche nandazrI ne durvaha garbha dhAraNa kiyaa| ekadA use aisA dohada par3A ki : 'maiM tuMgakAya hAthI para car3ha kara nikalUM, aura loka-janoM para vipula samRddhi kI varSA karato huI, unheM surakSA aura abhayadAna se Azvasta kruuN|' veNAtaTapura ke rAjA ne bar3e utsava-samAroha ke sAtha nandA kA vaha dohada sampanna kiyA / yathAkAla usake garbha se udIyamAna sUrya-sA tejasvI putra utpanna huA / nandazrI ke dohada-pUrti utsava ke abhayadAna kI smRti meM usake pitA somazarmA ne apane dohitra kA nAma abhaya kumAra rkkhaa| barasoM ke pAra nandazrI apanI prathama pratijJA ko hRdaya meM nigUr3ha devat kI taraha sa~joye rhii| vaha mAninI satI rAnIpada kI bhikhAriNI ho kara apanI ora se rAjagahI nahIM AnA cAhatI thii| merA pyAra bhI aisA parvata kI taraha anamya aura udgrIva thA, ki bhItara nandA ke viraha meM divArAtri tapatA rahA, para use livA lAne yA bulAne kA koI bAhya upAya mujhe rucikara na huA / aisA lagatA thA ki samudra aura parvata ke bIca garimAoM kI hor3a lagI thii| * 'kizora abhaya ko usake sAthI-sakhA usake pitA kA nAma-kulagotra pUcha kara parezAna karate the / isa rahasya para ghara meM eka gahare mauna kA AvaraNa par3A thaa| Akhira eka dina abhaya ne mA~ ko apanI AkrandabharI haTha se vivaza kara diyA ki apane pitA kA paricaya pAye binA vaha jI nahIM sakatA / nandazrI ne kahA :

Page #291
281 'tumhArA pitA usa rAjagRhI nagarI kA gopAla hai, jahAM kI ujjvala bhI amAvasyA ke andhakAra meM bhI cA~danI kI taraha camakatI haiN|' ___vicakSaNa tejasvI abhayakumAra kI A~khoM meM eka bijalI-so kauMdha gayI, aura eka sampUrNa bhavya nagarI aura usakA adhIzvara sAkAra ho utthaa| mA~ ko beTe ke Age hAra mAna lenI pdd'ii| aura kaI mahInoM bAda eka prAtaHkAla abhayakumAra kA ratha rAjagRhI ke toraNa dvAra para A khar3A huaa| * * * DAla-pake Ama-sI rasabhAra-namra nandazrI mujhe sammukha pAte hI, dUra para hI A~cala pasAra kara praNipAta meM nata ho gii| yaha mere liye zakya na rahA ki usa A~cala ko maiM zirodhArya na kruuN| * * *aura tabhI nandA ne mAsUma siMha-zAvaka-se abhaya ko merI phailI bA~hoM meM arpita kara diyaa| * * *aura Aja abhaya rAjakumAra kI kaniSThA U~galI para magadha kA sAmrAjI bhAgya jhUla rahA hai| aura Aja zreNika ko jagata kI sArI mahimAe~ praNAma kara rahI haiN| kuzAgrapurI ke rAjamArga para usa dina jo abodha kumAra bhambhA-vAdya phUMkatA huA nikala gayA thA, use kyA patA thA ki usake usa jaya-ninAda ne aMtarikSa kI adRzya partoM meM AgAmI bhUgola ke naye nakze chApa diye haiN| usa abodha vaya se Aja taka kI apanI sArI vijaya-lekhAoM para jo dRSTipAta karatA hU~, to Azcarya se diGagamUr3ha ho rahatA huuN| nahIM yAda A rahA, ki usa bholabhAle avahelita rAjaputra ke mana meM koI kAmanA. kAMkSA yA abhIpsA rahI hogii| __ jIvana kI rAha meM, jo bhI saMkaTa, bAdhA yA cunautI sAmane AI, usa para nipaTa nirIha lIlA-khela ke bhAva se hI to vijaya pAtA calA gayA huuN| khela-khela meM hI mAno dharatI aura AkAza ke nita-naye paTala ulaTatA calA gayA huuN| merI U~galI ke besArUtA ghumAvoM para jaise itihAsa merI manacAhI karavaTeM badalatA calA gayA hai| vRhadratha aura jarAsandha kI sAmrAjyaparamparA mere zizunAgavaMzI rakta meM naye sire se Age pravAhita ho gaI hai| mahAcIna, suvarNadvIpa aura tAmralipti se lagA kara, pArasya, misra aura sudUra yavana -deza yUnAna taka ke bhUpaTa aura sAgara-taTa zreNika bhaMbhAsAra ke digjayI bhambhAnAda se apane sImAnta badala rahe haiN| Aryavarta ke solahoM mahAjanapadoM kI niyati zreNika ke khar3aga kI noka para TaeNgI huI hai|

Page #292
282 . solomana kI khadAnoM kA zuddha suvarNa magadha kI mahArAniyoM ke nUpuroM meM Dhala kara apanI carama dhanyatA prApta karatA hai| nIla nadI ke gopana jala-goM ke ratnoM ne magadhezvarI celanA ke vakSahAra kI kaustubha-maNi meM jar3ita hokara, mere AliMgana ko graha-nakSatroM kI nigar3ha jyotiyoM se bhAsvara kara diyA hai| tAmralipti aura haMsadvIpa ke alabhya hIroM ne magadhanAtha ke mukuTa meM dIpita hone ke liye bhUgola aura khagola kI parikramA kI hai| rAjagRhI ke ratna-paNyoM meM hI kAlodadhi ke durlabha muktA-phaloM kA mUlyAMkana sambhava hotA hai| samasta jambUdvIpa ke dharma, jJAna, tIrthak, jJAnI, tapasvI, rAsAyanika, vaijJAnika rAjagRhI ke caitya-kAnanoM meM A kara apane jJAna-vijJAna kI carama upalabdhiyoM ko prakAzita karate haiN| sudUra etheMsa ke pAyathAgaoNrasa aura hirAkliTasa jaise durddharSa tatvajJAnI zreNika kI gati-vidhiyoM ke AdhAra para saMsAra kA marma-cintana karate haiM aura apane darzanoM ke antima niSkarSa nikAlate haiN| vedoM ke yajJa-puruSa aura upaniSadoM ke brahmajJAnI RSi vaibhAra parvata kI agamya guphAoM meM vizva-rahasya ke antima chora khoja rahe haiN| himavAna kI antarikSavedhI cUr3AoM ne vipulAcala ke zikhara para apane mastaka DhAla diye haiN| isa prakAra pahale dina se Aja taka ke apane jIvana-itihAsa meM jaba nigAha daur3AtA hU~, to pAtA hU~ ki samakAlIna vizva kI bar3I se bar3I sampadA, sattA, vyakmittA bhI zreNika se bar3I, UMcI aura Upara ho kara nahIM raha sakI hai| maujUdA jagata kI sArI hI zreSThatAe~ aura vibhUtiyAM usake vyaktitva ke prabhAmaNDala kI kiraNeM ho kara raha gaI haiN| Adi se Aja taka zreNika ne kisI se choTA honA nahIM jAnA, nahIM sviikaaraa| .. lekina Aja ? Aja to sRSTi meM mujhase choTA, kahIM kucha nahIM 'dikhAyI pdd'taa| paramANu se bhI choTA ho gayA zreNika ? itanA, ki dikhAI nahIM pdd'taa| hara najara se vaha bAhara ho gayA hai| oha, isa taraha astitva meM kaise raha jAye, kaise jiyA jAye? kaba taka, kaise ? uttara do mahAvIra ! tuma kauna ho, kauna ho tuma? tuma : 'tuma ho mere isa avamUlyana ke uttaradAyI / mere isa satyAnAza ke aparAdhI / bolo, cupa kyoM ho? tuma ho ki nahIM ho, maiM hU~ ki nahIM hU~, kauna uttara de? kauna kisI ko samajhAye ? samajha samApta hai, aura prazna antahIna hotA jA rahA hai| * * * lekina eka avalamba bhItara jhAMka rahA hai| yAda A rahA hai, abhI eka varSa pUrva kA vaha saverA / tumheM parivrAjana karate, kaI varSa bIta cuke the, vardamAna ! usase pUrva kaI-kaI bAra tuma magadha ke vanAMgano aura grAmAMganoM meM

Page #293
283 vihAra kara cuke the| merI apanI hI prabhutA kI bhUmi meM, kaI bAra mujhe pITha de kara merI avahelanA kara cuke the| 'yAda A rahA hai, zarada Rtu kA vaha sundara sveraa| maiM apane rAjamahAlaya ke vAtAyana para khar3A, alakSya bhAva se nIce kI ora tAka rahA thaa| tabhI acAnaka rAjagRhI ke bhavya rAjamArga para, kASAya cIvara dhAraNa kiye eka tuMgakAya yuvA saMnyAsI AtA dikhAyI pdd'aa| abhijAta puruSa -saundarya kI parAkASThA / dUdha sI ujjvala sukumAra rAjasI kAyA para, kevala eka akhaMDa gairika vasana / antarvAsaka hI kandhe para car3hakara uttarIya ho gayA hai| muMDita vizAla mastaka, kSitija-sA lAlaTa / naMge paira / hAthoM meM bhikSA pAtra uThAye, yaha kauna rAjezvara rAjagRhI meM bhikSATana kara rahA hai ? * * * dekhA, sArA nagara usa puruSottama ke rUpa ko dekhane ke liye saMkSubdha ho umar3a par3A hai| mAnoM svayam acyuta svarga kA zakendra rAjagRhI ke rAjamArga para cala rahA hai| mAno asurendra ne merI rAjanagarI meM praveza kiyA hai| gajapuruSoM ne Akara mujhase kahA : 'deva yaha kauna svarga-nirvAsita devatA rAjAgRhI meM ghUma kara madhukarI mAMga rahA hai| yaha deva hai yA manuSya hai, nAga hai yA garur3a hai, kauna hai-hama nahIM jaante| svayam IzAnendra Apake nagara meM bhikSATana kara rahA hai| hamArI vuddhi guma hai| hama isake sAtha kaisA vyavahAra kareM ?' maiMne AjJA dI : 'jAo, dekho to, yadi a-manuSya hogA, to nagara se nikala kara antardhAna ho jAyegA, yadi devatA hogA, to AkAza-mArga se calA jAyegA, yadi nAga hogA to dekhate-dekhate pRthvI meM DubakI lagA kara lupta ho jAyegA, yadi manuSya hogA to kahIM vana ke ekAnta meM jAkara milI huI madhukarI kA bhojana kregaa|' rAjya ke anucaroM ne dUra-dUra raha kara, chupe-chupe cupacApa bhikSuka kA anusaraNa kiyaa| kucha samaya bAda A kara unhoMne namita ho mujhase nivedana kiyA : 'parama bhaTTAraka, svalpa madhukarI ko ityalam kaha kara vaha bhikSuka nagara ke praveza-dvAra se hI bAhara nikala gyaa| pANDava-parvata kI chAyA meM pUrvAbhimukha baiTha kara vaha bhojana karane lgaa| usa samaya aisA lagA ki usakI A~teM ulaTa kara mAno bAhara A rahI haiN| usa pratikUla bhojana se pIr3ita hue apane mana ko phira vaha yaha kara samajhAne lagA-'siddhArtha, tU anna-pAnasulabha kula meM, vipula rAjyazvarya ke bIca palA hai| tIna varSa ke purAne,

Page #294
284 . sugandhita, kumudoM meM basAye zAli-tandula kA tU bhojana karatA rahA hai| phira bhI kanthAdhArI bhikSaka ko dekha, usase IrSyA karatA rhaa| usake bhikSAnna ko tarasatA rahA / terI yaha sadA abhIpsA rahI, ki kaba AyegA vaha muhUrta, jaba maiM bhikSAnna kA bhojana karU~gA? yahI socakara to tU ghara se nikala par3A thaa| para aba vaha manovAMchita pA kara, tU usI se glAni kara rahA hai ? to aba terI kyA gati ho sakatI hai, o mUr3ha, ajJAnI, kAyara ?' aura deva, yaha phusaphusA kara vaha zAnta samAdhIta ho gyaa| phira avikAra citta se usane bhojana kiyaa| aura aba vaha prasanna zAnta mudrA se taru-chAyA meM baiTha aprayojana hI saba-kucha ko nihAra rahA hai|' merA mana prabala jijJAsA se udagra ho aayaa| maiM tatkAla akelA hI pANDava-parvata kI chAyA meM jA phuNcaa| vinata mAtra ho maiMne apane sAre aizvarya mana hI mana bhikSuka ko arpita kara diye| taba maiMne nivedana kiyA ki : 'devAnu priya, ajJAta rAja-saMnyAsI, merI bheMTa sviikaaro| mere kisI pradeza ke rAjyapAla ho kara amita sukha-vaibhava kA bhoga kro| kauna ho tuma. he puruSapuMgava ? kRtArtha karo mujhe|' saMnyAsI avicala, mauna, apalaka dUriyoM meM dRSTi khoye nistara baiThA rhaa| mere bArambAra anunaya karane para vaha mukhara huA : 'rAjan, kapilavastu kA Aditya gotrIya, zAkya rAjaputra siddhArtha gautama, jAna-bUjha kara hI apane prApta rAjyaizvarya ko kAka-bITavat tyAga kara nikala par3A hai| saMsAra ke kisI bhI sukha-bhoga meM usakI ruci nahIM rahI / * vastu aura bhoga kI kAmanA se uparAma, uttIrNa ho gayA huuN| nitya, zAzvata sukha dene vAle buddhatva kI khoja meM parivrAjana kara rahA huuN| vaha pAkara rahU~gA, yA dehapAta kara duuNgaa|' ___'dhanya ho, dhanya ho, he zramaNa gautama ! vacana do ki buddhatva lAbha kara sarvaprathama rAjagRhI meM aaoge| sarvaprathama mujha hI usakA upadeza kroge|' 'tathAstu rAjan / ' 'merA Atithya sviikaaroge| magadha ke rAjakIya zramaNAgAra ko dAna meM grahaNa kara, use cirakAla suzobhita. kroge|' _ 'aisA hI hogA, bhambhAsAra zreNika !' aura eka madhura komala smita ke sAtha zAkyaputra gautama udbodhana kA hAtha uThA, mujha se bidA ho gayA thaa| kitanA gaharA AzvAsana thA usakI

Page #295
usa udbodhana mudrA meM, usakI usa mahAkAruNika dRSTi aura mAdhurI muskAna meM / 285 aura dUsarI ora tuma ho, zramaNa varddhamAna / prathama darzana se Aja taka avibhaMga, acala, vajra - kaThora mandarAcala / merI aura celanA kI sArI prArthanAoM aura A~sU bharI vinatiyoM ko nirantara ThukarAte hI cale gaye / magadha kI sArI mahArAniyoM ke, apanI rAha meM phaile A~caloM ko tumane rauMdane yogya taka nahIM samajhA / rAjagRhI ke deva-durlabha vaibhava ko tumane A~kha uThA kara taka nahIM dekhaa| mere hara dAna aura arpaNa kI tumane avahelanA kara dI / mere sarvasva samarpaNa taka ko tumane asvIkAra kara diyA / mere astitva taka ko tumane nakAra diyA / f aise askhalita durdAnta tapasvI hokara bhI bhayaMkara vItarAgI ho kara bhI, zAyada tuma yaha na bhUla sake ki tuma vaizAlI ke rAjaputra ho ! ki tuma ajita sUryodayI ikSuvAkuvaMza ke Aja apratima pratApI vaMzadhara ho| tuma yaha na bhUla sake ki maiM vaha magadha samrATa bhaMbhAsAra zreNika hU~, jo vaizAlI ko apanI er3I se rauMda kara Asamudra pRthvI kA cakravartI honA cAhatA hU~ / tumheM mere bhAvI cakravatitva se IrSyA hai / tuma mujhe apanA ananya pratispaddha mAnate ho| tuma mere Upara ho kara apanA cakravartitva sthApita kiyA cAhate ho| tuma mujhe kucala denA cAhate ho / 'lekina, lekina, jAno mahAvIra, zAkyaputra siddhArtha gautama buddha ne mujhe apanAyA hai / Azvasta kiyA hai / mere bhUdAna ko svIkArA hai / eka dina vuddha kI bodhisatva-prabhA se rAjagRhI ke caitya-kAnana jagamagA uttheNge| tumhIM to antima nahIM, niggaMTha nAtaputta, mahAvIra ! eka eka bar3hakara jJAnI, buddha, tIrthaMkara isa dharAtala para vicara rahe haiM / tumhIM antima kyoM ? zAkyaputra siddhArtha gautama kyoM nahIM ? 'oha oha, yaha ekAeka kyA huA ! mere pairoM tale kI dharatI gAyaba ho gii| mere mAthe para kA AkAza haTa gayA hai / antarikSa meM pralayaMkara viplava kI pagacApeM dhamaka rahI haiM / RjubAlikA nadI kI laharoM meM lapaTeM uTha rahI haiN| bijaliyA~ tar3aka rahI haiM / ananta koTi brahmANDa hila rahe haiN| mahAvIra, mahAvIra, mahAvIra bahiyA meM mujhe akelA chor3a tuma lauTa Ao mahAvIra ! tuma, kevala Jain Educationa International - yaha tumane kyA kiyA ? kahA~ antardhAna ho gaye ? tuma / aura koI nahIM For Personal and Private Use Only ina kalpAnta kI jahA~ bhI ho, !

Page #296
kevala tuma raho mahAvIra, maiM nahIM, maiM nahIM, maiM nhiiN| maiM kahIM nahIM haiN| .. oha, aise niruttara, aise aphAT virATa anuttara mauna tuma / dekhate-dekhate nirastitva ho gye| A~kha se pare cale gye| hAya, kaise kahA~, kisa AdhAra para apane astitva ko lauttaauuN| kaise apane hone ko mahesUsa kruuN| itanA nirAlamba nirupAya kara diyA tumane mujhe, o akiMcana zramaNa ? maiM hU~ ki nahIM hU~? maiM rahU~ ki na rahU~ . . . ? eka digantavAhI pralaya-garjana ke sivAya kahIM se koI uttara na hIM mila

Page #297
carama ekalatA ke kinAre trizalA, bhara nIMda meM majha rAta ke sannATe ko cIra kara jo zUla tumhAre vakSa ko bheda gayA, vaha jhUTha nhiiN| mere mastaka ke ArapAra ho kara, tumhArI chAtI ko bIMdha kara, sRSTi ke pratyeka paramANu aura jIvANu meM hokara vaha guz2ara gayA hai| mAnA ki isa prahAra se sakala carAcara hatAhata ho gaye / lekina phira bhI ve anAhata hI raha gaye, yaha nahIM dekhogI ? nizcaya, vaha bhI dekhA tumane / AghAta kI parA koTi para hI, kyA tumane mujhe aghAtya bhI nahIM dekhA? usa kSaNa, isa AghAta se pUrva mujha para hone vAle sAre prahAroM aura pIr3anoM ko bhI kyA tumane vyartha aura vyatItamAna nahIM dekhA? vedanA mAtra ke usa ekAgra bindu para kyA tumhArI kokha hI nahIM bola uThI, rAja-pitA ke samakSa, ki-- / .. 'tumhArA beTA aba mauta se Age jA cukA . . 'jAo, nizcita ho kara soo!' lekina darzana-jJAna kA vaha antarmuhUrta bhI tirohita ho gyaa| aba dekha rahA hU~, ki tumhArA mAnava citta phira saMdigdha aura zokAkula hai| * * *kisane pukArA 'mA~', patA nhiiN| kauna hai vaha 'mA~', nahIM mAlUma / lekina brahmANDa meM gUMja uThe usa 'mA~' meM se jo anuguMjita huA 'At - 'mA' : vahI AtmA tuma ho, vahI maiM huuN| carama coTa kI anI para cinmaya huI tumhArI cetanA meM bhI vaha zruta aura pratizruta eka sAtha huaa| tuma sambuddha ho kara apanI pIr3A ke bAvajUda satya kI sAkSI dene ko vivaza huii| tuma nahIM bolIM, svayam satya tumhAre oThoM bolA, tumhAre rakta kI taraMga-taraMga meM vaha anudhvanita huaa| abhI bhI tumhAre sAre nAr3I-maMDala meM vaha dhvani anAhata, avyAhata pravAhita hai| tumhArI dhamaniyoM ke mRdaMga meM avirAma vahI anahada nAda baja rahA hai| satya ke uttIrNa taTa para avikampa lau-sI khar3I usa AtmA kI anakSata prabhA meM tumhAre mAtRtva aura mere putratva kA inakAra nahIM hai / paryAya kI ye do taraMgeM jyoti ke samudra meM anagina bAra uThI aura vilIna ho gyiiN| jAne kitane na janmAntaroM meM, kitanI na bAra tuma merI mA~ huIM, maiM tumhArA putra huaa| nAma-rUpa-sambandha kI vaha lIlA mahAkAla ke pravAha meM jAne kaba, jAne kahA~ vilupta ho gii| para tuma jo ho, vaha to avilupta, avicchinna Aja bhI jyoM kI tyoM ho hii| maiM jo hUM, vaha bhI amiTa, alopanIya, akSuNNa Aja bhI hU~ hii|

Page #298
288 sRSTi meM mA~ aura putra kA sambandha bhI apanI jagaha zAzvata qAyama hai hI / vaha mA~ trizalA ho yA aura koI, vaha putra varddhamAna ho yA koI aura, nayA antara par3atA / ekameva mA~ sadA thI, sadA hai, sadA rhegii| ekameva putra sadA thA, sadA hai, sadA rahegA / para nAma rUpa aura tAtkAlika sambandha kI paryAya, usake vaha rahane kI bAdhyatA nahIM, zarta nahIM / koI bhI nAma, rUpa, sambandha, paryAya yA prIti kyoM na ho. ekameva AtmA ke atirikta antataH vaha kucha nahIM / vizuddha dravya ke atirikta daha kucha nahIM / Adi, madhya aura anta meM, nitya vidyamAna hai kevala samudra / usameM jo nirantara taraMgoM kA pariNamana hai, usI meM sAre nAma-rUpasApekSa jIvana kI sambandha-lIlA yathA-sthAna cala rahI hai / samagra samudra ho raho, to taraMgoM kI kSaNa-kSaNa udIyamAna vilIyamAna lIlA kA satya bhI sahaja avabodha hotA rahatA hai / samudra hai, to usakA svabhAva taraMgimatA bhI hai hI / samudra satya hai, to taraMgamAlA bhI satya hai hI / dravya satya hai, to usakA svabhAvagata pAryAyika pariNamana bhI satya hai hI / samudra meM taraMga kA inakAra nahIM, taraMga meM samudra kA inakAra nahIM / yaha sAkSAt hone para, sArI varjanAe~ samApta ho jAtI haiM, virodha, viparyaya, vichoha kI vedanAe~ tirohita ho jAtI haiM / sahaja svabhAva meM rahane lagate haiM / isa sahajAvasthA meM saMsAra aura nirvANa kA bheda hI nirvANa pA jAtA / saMsAra kI lIlA meM hI, sarvatra sahaja nirvANa kA bodha hotA hai| nirvANa meM sthita siddhAtmA meM saMsAra avyAbAdha rUpa se ramaNazIla rahatA hai / muktiramaNI kI goda meM koI vidhi - niSedha, inakAra - svIkAra nahIM / yathAsthAna jIvana kI hara lIlA ko vahA~ sahaja svIkRti prApta hai / mAnavoM ke sAre sambandha vahA~ sahaja surakSita bhAva se pravarttamAna haiM / jahA~ gantavya svayam upasthita hai, vahA~ yAtrA ke par3AvoM kA bhI mUlya apanI jagaha yathArtha hai hI / 'vezaka, deza-kAla ke saMkSubdha samudra kI majhadhArA para khar3A hU~ isa kSaNa / para gantavya ke usa sahasrAra padmavana ko apane snAna - sarovara ke lIlA- kamala kI taraha apanI bA~ha kI pahoMca meM spaSTa dekha rahA hU~ / isI se aba pAne yA khone, milane yA bichur3ane, jIne yA marane kI bhASA nirI bhrAnti laga rahI hai / nire khokhale zabda, jo apanA kSudra artha kho cuke haiM / taba, o trizalA, tuma mA~ raho yA aura kucha, maiM putra rahU~ yA aura kucha, kyA antara par3atA hai / yadyapi vaha rahane ke Agraha aura AvazyakatA se pare jA cukA hU~, para tuma cAho to vaha bhI yathAsthAna rahane se mujhe parahez2a nahIM / 'taba soco, o nArI, kyoM vahI aura vahIM rahanA cAhatI ho / jahA~

Page #299
289 tumhAre aura mere sampUrNa aura ananta kI aneka sambhAvanAoM se hameM vaMcita raha jAnA par3atA hai| __ kyoM na abhI aura yahA~, nitya mere sAtha raho, jahA~ hama donoM hI, nirnAma akhaNDa ekameva AtmA haiM, jahA~ hama mA~ aura putra bhI cAheM to haiM hI, lekina usase pare hama kyA nahIM haiM eka-dUsare ke liye ? jahA~ hama prati kSaNa manacAhe rUpa meM eka-dUsare ko nita-nayI bAra pAne aura apanAne ko svataMtra haiN| jahA~ eka-dUsare ko kSaNa-kSaNa adhika-adhika jAnane pAne aura pyAra karane kA anta hI nahIM hai| jahA~ hama eka-dUsare ko asaMkhya AyAmoM meM eka sAtha upalabdha haiN| jahA~ tuma apane meM parama svataMtra ho, maiM apane meM parama svataMtra huuN| apanI-apanI carama sattA meM jahA~ hama akSuNNa, avyAbAdha haiN| phira bhI jahA~ svabhAvagata rUpa se tumhIM maiM hU~, maiM hI tuma ho| phira bhI sadA zAzvatI meM do yA aneka raha kara, pUrNa jJAna kI jyotirmayI taTa-velA meM ananta kAla romAMsa karate hI rahane ko svacchanda haiN| ___.. suno ayi yoSitA, mAnavatA aura bhagavattA meM bheda aura virodha kI rekhA khIMca kara, anya aura anyatra meM tumhIM to bhagavattA ko sthApita kara rahI ho| kahIM aura, koI aura hai, jo bhagavAna hai, ho sakatA hai, use sthApita kara usase vidroha karane kA yaha Agraha kyoM? kyA apane hI bhItara kI bhUmA ke aizvarya ko nakArogI? kyA apane hI mahattama aura vRhattama svarUpa ko inakAra karogI? apane bhItara ke asIma, ananta-sambhAvI AtmA ke atirikta aura koI bhagavAna maiM nahIM jAnatA, nahIM maantaa| vRhadAraNyaka meM RSi kahatA hai : atha yo'nyAM devatAm upAste anyo'sau anyo'ham asmIti na sa veda, yathA pazurevaM sa devatAnAm / ' 'jo vyakti apane se anya aura bAhara ke kisI devatA kI upAsanA karatA hai, jo aisA mAnatA hai ki vaha anya hai aura maiM anya hU~, vaha bhagavAna ko nahIM jaantaa| vaha devatAoM ke pazu ke samAna hai|' apane hI aizvarya se aparicita, maiM nirA pazu hU~, aisI koI bhrAMti tumheM kaise ho gaI, trizalA ? apane sampUrNa aura sarva-sambhava svarUpa ko upalabdha hone se pUrva, kaise kahIM ruka sakatA hU~? vahI yadi bhagavAna hai, to vaha hone ko . maiM vivaza hU~ / kyA manuSya ko nipaTa manuSya raha kara kabhI caina A sakA ? manuSya, jo manas kI santAna hai, kyA mana kI sImA meM hI kabhI virama sakA? mana ke sukhoM, jJAnoM, vaibhavoM ko hada taka pA kara bhI, kyoM itihAsa meM yaha manas-puruSa sarvatra parAjita, mlAna, thakA, udAsa, duHkhAkrAnta dikhAI par3atA hai ? caMcala mana ke kSaNa-kSaNa ke badalAvoM kA anta nhiiN|

Page #300
290 isI se sthiti nizciti, zAMti, tRpti mana kA svabhAva nahIM / mana svayam apane svabhAva se hAra kara, udvigna hokara, bAra-bAra apane hI ko atikramaNa karane jAne ko chaTapaTAtA dikhAyI par3atA hai / kyoMki apanI alpatA meM use caina nahIM, virAma nahIM / kyoMki yaha cetas ( mana ) svayam bhI to caitanya kA hI eka prastAraNa hai-- sattA kI bahirmukha abhivyakti meM / 1 apanI carama vedanA meM, apane hI ko biddha kara, jaba mana sImAhIna virATa meM visphoTita ho uThatA hai, to jAne kahA~ se apAra aizvarya ke srota phUTate dikhAI par3ate haiM / bhagavatI AtmA ke bhaga-mUla meM se hI vaibhava kA yaha ajasra pravAha, sarvatra avyAhata vyApta, pravAhita anubhava hotA hai / vaha bhagazvaryamAna 'maiM' hI to bhagavAna hai / 'rakta-mAMsa kI kAyA se una ananta - sambhava paramezvara ko kyA virodha ho sakatA hai ? jisameM sAre dvaMdvoM aura virodhoM kA visarjana hai, vikalpa se jo pare hai, deha jisake bhUmA samudra kI eka rUpa taraMga mAtra hai, usa mahat virAT ko apanI hI UrjA ke eka sahaja rUpAyana se kaise inakAra ho sakatA hai ? sthiti hai, to abhivyakti anivArya hai, dhruva hai, to utpAda-vyayAtmaka pariNamana meM hI vaha pramANita ho sakatA hai / jisa AtmA ke aNu -aNu meM Aloka, vIrya aura sauMdarya ke zatadhA jharane ajasra phUTa rahe haiM, vaha apanI mahimA kI prakAzaka, rakta-mAMsa kI kAyA ko adhanya kaise rahane de sakatA hai ? ananta guNa- paryAyavatI, ananta zaktimatI mahAsattA meM kyA asambhava hai ? o bhagavatI AtmA, mA~, trizalA, yadi tumhArI kAmanA avikalpa hai, to vaha astitva meM sRjita sAkAra hokara rahegI / sakArane yA nakArane vAlA maiM kauna hotA hU~ / parama- svataMtra sattA puruSa arhat ke ananta darzana, jJAna, sukha, vIrya meM jo apanA parama kAmya rUpa tuma dhyAogI, vahI tumhAre vakSadeza meM se utkIrNa, udbhinna ho kara tumhArI vasundharA para zAzvata calegA / tumhArI yoni kyA nirI mAMsa- mATI kA eka kSaNika anubandha mAtra hai ? jo yoni ananta ke samAveza aura prajanana ko cItkAra uThI hai, vaha to antarikSagarbhA aditi hai / vaha sRSTi kA cirantana srota hai / usameM saMsAra aura nirvANa eka bAragI hI saMyukta bhAva se saMgopita haiM, lIlAyita haiM / usameM se udviddha hokara, anantakAma puruSa ko lokAkAza ke ArapAra tumhArI isa pRthvI para avizrAMta, avirAma calate dekha rahA hU~ | tathAstu trizalA !

Page #301
291 celanA, tumhArI marma-vyathA merI AtmA meM satata anukampita hai / bacapana se hI apane ko dekhA hai, to pAyA hai ki kabhI- koI saMkalpa yA icchA mujha meM nahIM rhii| koI nirNaya yA cunAva bhI apanA nahIM rahA / jo, jaisA hU~, basa huuN| lekina akriya haiM, aisA to kabhI nahIM lgaa| eka antahIna svayambhU kriyA ko satata apane bhItara calate dekha rahA huuN| apane Atma kA eka sahaja anavarata pariNamana / ____ Aja usa pariNamana ko usakI sUkSmatama AkRtiyoM aura layoM meM adhikatama tadrUpa bhAva se dekha rahA huuN| kabhI-kabhI antara-darzana kA eka adbhuta vAtAyana khula uThatA hai| usameM se varddhamAna ke asthi-DhA~ce ko, usake nADImaMDala ko, usakI raktavAhiniyoM ko, usake zarIra ke eka-eka avayava aura unake sAre kriyA-kalApoM ko, usakI sA~soM ke krama taka ko, eka sAmane phaile citra yA zilpa kI taraha tAdRSTa dekha dekha letA huuN|... taba lagatA hai, karane ko kucha hai hI nhiiN| yaha darzana aura jJAna svayam hI avakAza meM sarvatra vyApa kara eka nizcita kriyA ho jAtA hai| aura taba ApoApa jAne kahA~-kahA~, jAne kyA-kyA apUrva nayA utpanna aura ghaTita hote dekhatA hU~ / vastu-jagata ke guhya antarikSoM meM bhida kara yaha jJAnorjA rUpAntara ke eka rasAyana kI taraha plavita hotI dikhAI par3atI hai| kucha karatA nahIM, kucha socatA nahIM, kucha cAhatA nahIM yA acAhatA nhiiN| basa eka dhruva 'maiM' meM apane ko nirantara nita-navya hote dekhatA rahatA huuN| * lakSita huA hai bAra-bAra, ki mere paira magadha kI bhUmi para khiMcate cale Aye haiN| kyA prayojana hai isameM sattA kA, mujhe nahIM mAlUma / yaha na mAnane kA koI kAraNa nahIM, ki celanA aura zreNika ne hI mere bAvajUda bArambAra mujhe paMca-zaila kI kAnana bhUmi meM khIMcA hai| kyA yaha apane Apa meM paryApta nahIM ? yoM magadha kI UrjasvalA bhUmi ne, usake parvata-kUToM aura kAntAroM ne, usake suramya prAkRta udyAnoM aura chAyAvanoM ne, usake kammakaroM aura cAMDAloM ne, usake jala-rAjya, vanaspati-rAjya, usake kITa-pataMga aura hara jIva, aura kaNa kaNa, tRNa-tRNa ne bhI mujhe kama nahIM khIMcA hogaa| kyoMki sRSTi ke aNu-aNu ke AkarSaNoM aura AmantraNoM ko sadA merI AtmA kA uttara milatA hI rahatA hai / ... __.. para magadha kI sImA meM paira rakhate hI, celanA vahA~ ke cappe-cappe aura patte-patte para chAyI dikhAI par3atI hai| aura usakI usa chabi meM, usake hRdayezvara zreNika ko sadA usake aMka meM sthita dekhA hai| * * aura taba samasta mAgadhI bhUmi kI eka-eka AtmA ke khiMcAva ko, usI abhinna yugala meM se AtA anubhava kiyA hai|

Page #302
. . 'aba tumhIM batAo, celanA, tumheM aura zreNika ko, kahA~ kaise alaga se dekhatA? tantuvAya-zAlA ke karSoM meM isaliye apane ko bune jAne ko chor3a diyA, ki magadhanAtha ke sAmrAjya-svapna ko unakI kamma-zAlAoM meM kalpavRkSa kI taraha Aropita kara duuN| bAra-bAra lagA ki varddhamAna, celanA aura zreNika ke hara manokAmya ko acUka sampUrita karane ko hI mAno lauTa-lauTa kara bAmbAra magadha kI bhUmi meM bhaTaka par3A hai| magadha kI mahArAniyoM ke A~sU bhIne A~caloM meM Dhalakane se apane ko kahA~ bacA pAyA hU~ ? .para usase pahale unake A~suoM meM hI jo uphanA hU~, so kAza ve aura tuma jAna sakatIM! tumhAre rAjadvAroM para AvAhana ke maMgala-kalaza anutarita hI raha gye| tumhArI anavarata pratIkSAoM ko pITha dekara maiM anyatra hI vicaratA rahA / tuma aura zreNika nirjana zUnya belAoM meM mere samIpa ghaMToM baiThe raha gaye, merI eka sanmukha dRSTi pAne ko vikala / para maiMne A~kha uThA kara bhI tumheM nahIM dekhA, nahIM sviikaaraa| .. para merI vicitra vivazatA rahI, celanA, kaise tumheM samajhAU~ / jaba-jaba bhI tuma donoM mere samIpa A kara upaviSTa hue, maiM tatkAla antarmukha ho gahana dhyAna meM calA gyaa| mAnoM ki tumheM bAhara nahIM, apanI AtmA meM hI avikala dekhA jA sakatA thaa| aura tumheM samUcA dekhe binA maiM raha nahIM sakatA thaa| mAnoM ki tuma donoM ko dekhanA, apanI hI AtmA ko sAkSAt dekhanA thaa| aura vaha bAhara se A~kha mUMda, antarmukha hue binA kaise sambhava thaa| tumheM AtmA ke antaHpura meM le kara hI to tumhAre sAtha milana aura samvAda sambhava thaa| apanI ora se vaha sukha maiMne paayaa| para merA vaha samvAda tuma donoM taka sampreSita na ho sakA, to vaha merI hI kamI rahI , merI hI apUrNatA rhii| usa pUrNatA-lAbha ke liye hI to tumhArA pyAra, mujhe bArambAra tumhArI locabharI mATiyoM ke gaharAvoM meM khIMca lAyA hai. celanA / RjabAlikA kI ye lahareM sAkSI haiM, ki inake taTa para kUTastha ho kara Aja maiM kyA pAne ko aTala, anirvAra, sannaddha khar3A huuN| __ tumhAre sAmrAjI rAjadvAroM meM tumhAre bhItara kitanI dUra A sakatA thA ? tumhAre kSIrAnna mAtra se vaha bhikSuka kaise tRpta ho sakatA thA, jo tumhAre sarvasva kA yAcaka aura bhojaka hai| tuma donoM ko sampUrNa pAye aura apanAye binA, mAnoM kSapaka zreNi para ArUr3ha nahIM huA jA sakatA / apanI usa sImA kA atikramaNa karanA hogA, jisake rahate hamAre bIca asamajha, ajJAna aura g2alatafahamI kI a~dherI khandaka par3I haiN| tumhAre sAtha samparka hote hI, tumheM sampUrNa dekhane aura pAne ko barabasa dhyAnalIna hote hue bhI, apanI Atmalau meM prANa kI ekAgra UrjA se tumheM khIMca kara bhI, tuma se ekatAna na ho skaa|

Page #303
293 jJAnAvaraNI, darzanAvaraNI aura mohanIya karmoM kA kaisA abhedya vIrAna antarAla hamAre bIca mahAkAla sarpa kI taraha anirvAra ho kara par3A hai| RjubAlikA ke satata pravAhI jala-lokoM meM dhaMsa kara tumhAre supta hRdayoM meM sahasA eka jota kI taraha jAga uThanA cAhatA huuN| loka kI eka bhI AtmA mere samvAda aura sampreSaNa se vAhara raha jAye, to mere pyAra kI kyA sArthakatA? itanI sArI g2alataphahamiyA~ hamAre bIca, itane sAre vikalpa ? ina sAre karmAraNyoM kA bhedana kiye binA, mahAvIra ko virAma nahIM / / - apane jAne to, indriyoM aura mana ke sImita gavAkSoM se pare, apanI samagra AtmA ke sAtha, AtmA meM, AtmA dvArA hI sarva ke saMga sampRkta hone kI adamba mahAvAsanA meM hI satata jItA huuN| phira bhI dekha rahA hU~, ki merA darzana-jJAna, merA daka-bodha, abhI indriyoM ke bAdhita dvAroM ko nahIM cheka sakA hai| abhI samagra se samagra kA AliMgana sambhava nahIM ho rahA hai| abhI gaharAva se gaharAva kA gumphana aura avikala AzleSa zakya nahIM ho pA rahA hai| usI pUrNa parirambhaNa meM sukhalIna aura Alokita hone ke liye, RjubAlikA kI laharoM ke vipula jala-paTaloM meM durdAma tairatA huA, apanI Atma-ramaNI ke nIvi-bandhana kA chora khoja rahA huuN| ki jise eka jhaTake ke sAtha khIMcate hI, sArI granthiyA~ aura AvaraNa khula par3eMge, aura vaha zrIkamala sammukha hogA, jisakI karNikA meM tuma bA~heM pasAra kara anAvaraNa khar3I ho, celnaa| aura tumhArA samrATa tumhAre uroja-gavhara ke bhItara kasa kara cipaTA baiThA hai| kitanA bhayabhIta, vikala, ISyAkula, zaraNAkula, AzaMkita, parAjita, Atma-hArA hai, tumhArA yaha priyatama / mohinI ke isa rajasa aura tamasa-rAjya ko bhede binA, tumhArI kaNikA kI usa vedI para kaise pahu~ca sakatA hU~, jahA~ tuma samagra khar3I ho / moha ke ghane bha~varAle cikurajAla se AveSTita, zreNika se AveSTita, sAmrAjya se AveSTita, dharatI se AveSTita-phira bhI jAtarUpa digambarI, hemAMginI celnaa| lo maiM AyA * * * maiM AyA, nivir3a Antarika aDAbIr3a , nIrandhra jalAndhakAroM kA yAtrI mahAvIra / * * 'rAjagRhI meM, celanA ke ekastambha prAsAda kI chata ke keli-udyAna meM sahasA hI apane ko Avirbhata dekha rahA huuN| ketakI ke eka kaTIle dala para gAla DhAle celanA mAno mugdha-machita sarpiNI-sI adhaleTI hai| mAlatI kA vitAna hI jaise usake liye AkAza para khulI eka zaiyA ho gayA hai|' 'ro rahI ho, celA?'

Page #304
294 'oha varddhamAna, - 'tuma yahA~ acAnaka ? svapna dekha rahI haiM, ki satya ?' 'svapna, jo satya huA cAhatA hai !' 'lekina tuma * * * kaise, kaise yahA~ ho, abhI ? kisa rAha, kaise * * * kaise Aye ?' eka vistRta, uttAna, uttara detA-sA mauna / '* * "yaha mAyA hai koI ? koI vyAMtarika prapaMca ? indrajAla ? mahAvIra RjuvAlikA taTa para aTala mAnuSottara kI taraha khar3A hai| vaha vahA~ se haTa nahIM sakatA, visphoTita hI ho sakatA hai| . . "phira tuma kauna, o pravaMcaka ? haTa jAo mere sAmane se !' 'mahAvIra ko kyA usa eka zarIra meM hI bandI dekhatI ho, celanA ? kyA vaha kevala mAtra vaha eka zarIra hai, jo vahA~, usa jIrNa udyAna ke vIrAna meM akampa upaviSTa hai ?' eka adhikAdhika gaharAtI nistabdhatA / '. * maiM nirdhAnta huI / maiM kRtakRtya huI / mere svapna, tuma A gaye ?' 'tuma taka pahu~ca sakA mahAvIra ?' 'lajjita na karo, mere prabhu ! tuma to sadA ArapAra Aye mujha meM / para maiM hI bAra-bAra ruddha ho gayI / kama par3a gaI / saMkoca aura vikalpa meM rhii| hicaka gaI. / ' 'phira vikalpa ? sammukha jo hai, use nahIM dekha rahI?' 'dekha rahI hU~, apanA vaha svapna jo tathya se bhI adhika satya, Thosa aura vizvasanIya hai|' 'phira kyA soca rahI ho? mana se Age nahIM AogI?' 'bAra-bAra mujhase bhUla ho gii| tumhArI ekAgra dhyAnalIna citavana kA vaha samataula kaTAkSa maiM saha na skii| usa khiMcAva kI coTa se vikala, Ahata, betahAzA lauTa gaI / ' * tumhAre antarkakSa ke AmantraNa se merA aNu-aNu pasIja gyaa| * * maiM bhayabhIta, lajjAkula ho kara apane hI se palAyana kara gayI / taba maiM Apa hI apane ko bharamA kara, tumheM bAhara hI kahIM khojane kA abhinaya karatI rahI / maiM samajha na sakI, usa sarvasvahArI sammohana kA rahasya / maiM zikAyata hI karatI rahI, ki tumane mujhe A~kha uThA kara bhI na dekhA ? * * *aura maiM tumhAre ayaskAnta ke usa cambaka-cumbana

Page #305
295 se dUra-dUra hI bhAgI phirii| - hAya, maiM apane hI ko chalatI calI gii| nAtha, . . . aisI mUrchA kyoM ?' 'tuma apane pAtivratya ke kho jAne kA khatarA dekha rahI thii| tuma duvidhA meM rahI, dvaita meM rahI / phira bhI advaita kA dAvA karatI rahI * * / ' ____ 'mere, prabhu * * * !' 'lekina jAno samrAjJI, tumhArA hRdaya-samrATa tumhArI kaMcukI meM se kabhI kA carAyA jA cukA hai !' vajrAhata celanA dharatI meM gar3I jA rahI hai| . . . 'o balAtkArI, aba aura na kamo / kholo, DhIlA karo yaha kasAva / mujhe sA~sa lene do, apane hRdaya ke antarikSa meM / ' ___'tumhArA samrATa tumheM surakSita lauTA dene AyA hU~, samrAjJI / mahAvIra AtmAoM ko tor3atA nahIM, jor3atA hai|' _ 'lekina ' . . 'lekina jor3ane se pahale, dA ke bIca kI moha-graMthi ko antima rUpa me tor3a detA hai| tAki phira jo jur3Ava ho, jo gumphana ho, vaha antima ho aura Atmastha ho|' '. - tuma se bAhara koI zreNika mujhe nahIM cAhiye, svAmI !' 'vaha bhI maiM hI huuN| vahA~ bhI maiM hI haiN| jo yahA~ hai, vahI vahA~ hai !' 'mujhe livA le jAne Aye ho, mere nAtha?' 'vaha agalI bAra AU~gA, abhI lagna-muhUrta nahIM AyA !' 'kyA rahasya hai, samajhI nahIM?' 'taba pUrNa puruSa pUrNa nArI kI khoja meM aayegaa|' 'aura Aja ?' 'apUrNa puruSa apanI pUrNatA kI khoja meM AyA hai !' 'mujha apUrNa meM ?' 'pUrNamadaH pUrNamidam, pUrNAt pUrNamadacyate * * * !' --mAlatI latA meM bahatI havA meM aura ketakI kI sugandha-nivir3a kaNTakacubhanoM meM gUMja utthaa| '. . hAya, haThAt tuma kahA~ cale gaye, mere bhagavAna ? * * *Aha, yaha kyA suna rahI hU~? 'RjubAlikA ke jala-kakSoM meM Ao, celanA ! . . . '

Page #306
296 anamya zreNika, yaha tumheM kyA ho gayA hai ? samadra-kuntalA pRthvI kA pati eka niSkicana, nirIha naMge ke AsapAsa cakkara kATa rahA hai ! suvarNa-khacita upAnaha kA dhAraka, sukomala gaura-caraNa rAja-puruSa, naMge pairoM isa nadI-taTa kI paMkilatA meM kyA khoja rahA hai ? mahaddhika rAjaveza tyAga kara, vaha eka pAMzukulika pathahArA baTohI kI taraha, isa parityakta ujar3e udyAna ko bhagna sarAya meM kyoM A basA hai ? bAdala-belA kI aMjanI chAyA meM, nadI ke ina nicATa nirjana prAntara-choroM meM vaha kyA khoja rahA hai ? * * *usa bar3hiyA kA dhyAna A rahA hai, jo ghara meM khoI apanI sUI ko, bAhara vijana ke A~ganoM meM, lAlaTena le kara khoja rahI hai| rAja-kAja tyAga kara yahA~ kyA lene Aye ho ? tumhArA cakravartI siMhAsana sUnA par3A tumhArA mu~ha tAka rahA hai| tumhArA chinna-bhinna sAmrAjyasvapna eka sarvahArA bhikSuka ke pairoM meM par3A kauna-sI siddhi khoja rahA hai ? komala masUNa haMsa-paMkhI zaiyA tyAga kara, isa nagna dharatI ke kaMkar3a-kAMToM se bAligita tumhArI rAjasI deha para mujha tarasa A gayA hai| * * kyA tuma mujhe apanI zaiyA nahIM banA sakate ? jAnatA hU~ zreNika, apanA mastaka utAra kara, tumhAre sirahAne dhara daM,taba bhI tuma yahI kahoge--'nahIM, yaha mujhe cubhatA hai'.. to bolo, maiM tumhAre liye kyA karU~ ? / digantoM taka vyApta tumhArI kIti ke kalaza mere dhyAna se bAhara nahIM / kuzAgrapura ke rAjamArga para bhaMbhAvAdya phaMkatA huA, jo rAjaputra anargala dizAoM meM nikala par3A thA, use pahacAnatA huuN| usakI Aja taka kI aura AgAmI jayA-yAtrA ke dig-cinha merI nigAhoM meM jhUla rahe haiN| jalate rAjabhavana meM se jo siMhAsana nikAla lAyA thA, use siMhAsana kI koI kAmanA nahIM thI, yaha mujhase chupA nahIM / dakSiNAvarta kI paga-paga para samarpitA sundariyA~, jisa nigAha meM na a~Ta sakI, usa nigAha kA maiM bhikSuka hU~ / aMjanagiri ke sahasrakUTa caityAlaya ke vajra-kapATa jisa lalATa kI chuvana mAtra se khula gaye, usakI lipi ko mujhase adhika kauna par3ha sakatA hai ? rAja-purohita-kanyA nandazrI ke sarvasva-samarpaNa, aura bhavya bhaviSya-darzana ke sammukha stabdha hokara bhI, jo usake USmAkula AliMga meM bhI anamya hI rahA, usa zreNika ko itanA sarvahArA dekha kara maiM kAtara ho AyA huuN| tumhAre pratApa, parAkrama aura aizvarya ke sImAstaMbha, maiM tumhArI nigAha se Age ke antarikSoM meM uThate dekha rahA huuN| tumhAre svapna ke cakravartitva se pare kA eka cakravartI siMhAsana tumhArI pratIkSA meM hai / sahasrAbdiyoM ke pAra, maiM tumhAre usa diganta-vyApI rAja-chatra kA sAkSI huuN| mujhe patA hai, zreNika, mahAcIna kA yugAntara-draSTA kanphUziyasa apane kAg2ajI phAnUsa kI raMga-biraMgI rozanI meM, tumhArI

Page #307
297 zAsana-nIti ke AdhAra para, rAjanIti ke naye mUtra gar3ha rahA hai / tumhArI gatividhiyoM kI zataraMja para lAotsa Atmika kriyA-zakti ke naye maMtra par3ha rahA hai| .. phira bhI Aja tuma itane sarvahArA, AtmahArA, digbhramita kyoM? sAgaraNa kAma aura IhA se pare kI tumhArI durdAma mahAvAsanA ko anukSaNa samajhatA, anubhava karatA huuN| vaha Urdhva-retas vAsanA, vaha ba~dhe pArada-sA vIrya, jo celanA jaisI anantinI ramaNI ke parirambhaNa meM bhI a-kSarita rahane kI vajrolI sAdhe rahA ! use bindu-dAna karake bhI, jo use aura apane Apako mukara gayA / usa citta kA paricAlaka Avega merI kaniSThA u~galI ke pora meM spandita hai / AryAvarta aura jagata kI hara naz2ara par3a jAne vAlI zreSTha lAvaNyA ko bAhubaddha kiye binA tumheM kala nahIM par3a sakI ! hara janapada ke kundojjvala kaumArya ko apane cumbana se mudrAMkita kiye binA tumhArA aham khAmoza na ho skaa| jambUdvIpa kI hara janapada-kalyANI tumhArI garbhadhAriNI hone ko tarasa gii| tumhAre usa ajita-vIrya ahaMkAra kI mujhe z2arUrata hai, zreNika ! uTho zreNika, uttAna mastaka mere sAmane khar3e raho / maiM tumhAre aham / kI usa U~cAI ko apane AliMga se mApa kara, use aura bhI Upara le jAnA cAhatA huuN| maiM tumheM usa U~cAI para khar3A kara denA cAhatA hU~, jahA~ se tuma apane pratispardhI lagate mahAvIra ko ThIka-ThIka dekha sako, pahacAna sko| tuma itane vizAla ho jAo, ki majhe kevala apane hRdaya-deza kA aMguSThapramANa antarikSa bhara dekho| yAnI tuma kevala apane ko dekho, mujhe na dekho| usa darzana kA darpaNa bhara ho rahe mahAvIra, tumhAre liye / jaba tuma darpaNa meM dekhate ho, to darpaNa ko nahIM dekhate, kevala apane ko ekAgra dekhate ho| aura darpaNa kI sattA anajAne hI lupta prAya ho rahatI hai| * *aura yaha darpaNa aisA hai, ki jyoM hI tuma apane Amane-sAmane hoge, to vaha Apa hI vAyu meM vilIna hI jAyegA / taba graha-tArA maMDita jo virAT gagana-maMDala khulegA, usake bIca tuma brahmAMDa ke zIrSa para apane ko ekAkI baiThA dekhoge / . . - bhayabhIta ho uThe, zreNika ? apane usa virATa rUpa se baca kara bhAga rahe ho ? isa qadara, ki apanI hI pahacAna ko bhulAne ke haz2Ara upakrama, betahAzA hara pala kara rahe ho / tumhArI yaha yAtanA, merI apanI ho gaI hai| yaha pratyeka jIvAtmA kI carama yAtanA graMthi hai| isakI gAMTha-gA~Tha meM se aNu-prati-aNu, parta-dara-pataM guz2are binA, apane mukti-mArga para merA agalA abhiyAna sambhava nahIM / paramANu se bhI choTe ho jAne kI bhrAnti meM par3e ho? isase bar3A ahaMkAra aura kyA ho sakatA hai ? para vaha tuma meM jAga kara, tana kara,

Page #308
298 itanA AsphAlita huA hai, to sadA ko vicchinna ho jAne ke liye / isa laghuttama ke zUnyAMza para hI, Atmika paramANu-visphoTa hotA hai| aura usameM se vaha cidAkAza khulatA hai, jo laghu aura mahat ke sAre akSagata parimANoM aura AyAmoM se uttIrNa hotA hai| to ThIka hai, jitanA tAna sako apane ko, tAno mujha para / isa dhruva para tumhAre hara AtmaghAta ke tanAva ko cuka kara nirarthaka ho jAnA par3egA / kyoMki mahAvIra se bAhara tamhArA koI AtmaghAta sambhava nhiiN| mahAvIra hI tumhArA antima AtmaghAta hai| jIvana kA vikalpa mRtyu nahIM hai,zreNika / nirantara kA vikalpa antarAla nahIM hai| antarAla meM kaba taka Thahara sakate ho ? Age bar3ho, ki kevala jIvana hai / hara dezAntara, hara kAlAntara, hara janmAntara eka aura jIvana hI hai / eka aura jIvana, eka aura jIvana / ananta jIvana / vahI mahAvIra hai| usase tumhArI bacata nhiiN| avyAbAdha jIvana / paripUrNa jIvana / / tava kyA magadha aura kyA vaizAlI ? merA pichalA caraNa vaizAlI meM TikA hai, to Daga bhara kara agalA caraNa maiMne magadha meM rakkhA hai| apanI yAtrA kI isa eka hI chalAMga ko kATa kara do kaise kruuN| yadi eka hI akhaNDa bhUmA, tumhAre bhUgola meM do meM vibhAjita hai, to rahe / para usI kAraNa kyA maiM calUMgA nahIM, Daga nahIM bharU~gA? aura yadi maiM calaMgA, to sAre khaNDa-khaNDa bhUgola ko akhaNDa ho jAnA pdd'egaa| mere isa caraNa pAta meM yadi vaizAlI aura magadha ke sImAnta TUTa gaye haiM, mAnacitra lupta ho gaye haiM, to maiM kyA karU~ ? jo vastu kA sva-bhAva hai, vahI to ghaTita huA hai| aura aba jaba zyAmAka gAthApati ke zAli-kSetra ke kinAre, isa parityaktA bhUmi meM dhruva nizcala khar3A ho gayA hU~, taba dekha rahA hU~, ki basundharA ke garbha meM hI bhUcAla AyA hai| usakI taheM ulaTa kara mere pairoM se lipaTa gaIM haiN| manuSya kI uddhata vijayAkAMkSA ne bAra-bAra usake akhaNDa garbha ko kSata-vikSata, khaMDa-khaMDa kiyA hai| usake payodhara vakSa ko apane balAtkArI nAkhUnoM se lahUluhAna kara ke usa para apane nAma aura adhikAra kI mahareM mArI haiN| use carAcara mAtra kI usa AdyA mA~ ne merI kAyotsargita dRSTi ke samakSa nivedita kara diyA hai / ki nahIM, vaha mujhe isa nadI-taTa se haTane nahIM degI, jaba taka maiM use apane dhruva meM ekAgra, saMyukta, akhaNDa na kara duuN| apanI trivalI ke trikoNa meM usane mere cira calAyamAna caraNoM ko jakar3a kara mAno kUTastha kara diyA hai| apane aparampAra payodharoM ko usa AdyA mA~ ne antarikSa meM udbhinna kara mere oSThAdharoM meM baravasa visphoTita kara diyA hai, ki maiM usake akSayya jIvana-srota ko jaanuuN| jAnUM , ki vaha kauna hai, aura maiM kauna huuN| jAnUM, ki vaha kevala kSaNika mRttikA-piMDa nahIM, zAzvata

Page #309
brahmAMDa hai| jAna, ki carama pariprekSya meM usake sAtha merA kyA sambandha usa vasundharA kI kAtara nivedanAkula pukAra ko suna rahA hU~ : 'mere vatsa, mere vallabha, kahA~ cale ? merA satva cUsa kara, mujhe niHsatva, niHsAra, niSphala kaha kara, lokAgra ke kisa siddhAlaya meM ArUr3ha honA cAhate ho ? bhrAMti huI hai tumheM, ki maiM sImita hU~, bhaMgura hU~, aura cuka gaI huuN| cuka gaye ho tuma, maiM nahIM cukI ! cuka gaI hai tumhArI sAmarthya, tumhArA ojas, mere rajas kI raktadhArA to anAdyanta kAla meM askhalita pravAhita hai| mahAkAla ke pravAha meM tuma jaise asaMkhya tIrthaMkara mere garbha se uThe, aura merA hI yonivedha kara siddhAlaya ke candrArdha para ArUr3ha ho gye| . . 'para mere hI eka akhaNDa vakSamaNDala ke do candrAoM ko bhinna, aura virodhI samajhane kI bhrAnti meM ve rahe / mere hI eka stana para pichalA paga dhara kara, agalA paga mere dUsare vakSArdha kI car3A para dharane ko hI unhoMne mokSArohaNa mAna liyA / ' ___ 'tumhArI isa bAla-lIlA para tumhArI mA~ ko garva hI ho sakatA hai| o yogIzvaro, o tIrthaMkaro, tumhArA yaha lIlA-khela hI to usakI kRtArthatA hai| para mahAvIra, tumheM isase Age kA khela sikhAnA cAhatI huuN| yahI ki eka bAragI hI apane oSThAdharoM se mere donoM stanoM ko piyo aura jAno ki jIvana aura mukti, bhoga aura yoga eka hI akhaNDa sattA-mA~ kI do karavaTeM haiN| unameM pravAhita eka hI caitanya payas ke do srota haiN| . . ahaM-svArtha pramatta manupya ne itihAsa ke mahApravAha meM bAra-bAra apanI hisaka vAsanA se mA~ ke usa akhaNDa vakSa-maMDala ko kSata-vikSata aura khaMDita kiyA hai| usa para apanA ekAnta adhikAra sthApita karanA cAhA hai| hiMsA aura parigraha kI isa mUrchAndha rAtri meM, bAra-bAra tumhArI isa ekameva mA~-vallabhA para balAtkAraatyAcAra, chedana-bhedana, prahAra-vyabhicAra hue haiM / tuma saba bhale hI patha-bhraSTa, vibhAjita, khaMDita, vyabhicarita, skhalita hue hoMge / para tumhArI yaha mA~ to tumhAre una sAre AghAtoM tale bhI avyabhicarita, avikSata tumhArI satI hI rahI hai|' _ 'mahAvIra, mujhe pUrNa lo, mujhe pUrNa jAno, mujhe avikala utsaMgita karo, mujhe piyo apane meM samUcI aura jAno, ki tuma cuka gaye ho. * "yA maiM cuka gayI hU~. . . ? jAno, ki tuma sAnta ho, yA maiM sAnta hU~ ? lo* * *lo * * * lo* * *lo mahAvIra' . . !' __ aura maiMne pAyA ki merA kAyotsarga bhaMga huA hai| merA paryakAsana DolA hai| aura godohana mudrA meM, jAnu para jAnu dhAre, aura muTThI para muTThI

Page #310
300 kase, maiM eka hI mahAmaNDalAkAra vakSamaMDala ke do brahmANDoM ko ka sAtha, eka hI sA~sa meM duha rahA hU~, pI rahA hU~ / cakita ho na, zreNika ? romAMcita aura praharSita ho na? bijayollAsa se bhara uThe ho na? ' . . 'yahI ki mahAvIra carama kAyotsarga ke zikhara se patita ho gyaa| ki usane zreNika kI dharatI para ghuTane Teka diye / ki vaizAlaka nigaMTha nAtaputta kI arhattA RjubAlikA ke jaMghAtaToM meM dharAzAyI ho gayI ? ___.. 'jAno zreNika, tumhArI vijaya ke liye, o manuSya ke beTebeTiyo, tumhAre kuNThA-chedana ke liye, tumhAre prAMjala sugama udbodhana ke liye hI, mahAvIra ne bhUgarbha kI rAha brahmagarbha meM atikrAnta honA svIkAra kiyA hai| tAki bheda aura viccheda kI sArI bAdhAe~ aura kuNThAe~ prANi mAtra ke bIca se haTa jaayeN| tAki mukti-ramaNI isa dharatI aura kAyA ke mUrta kalevara meM hI, tumheM savitA aura sAvitrI kA bharga pAna karAye / __ . . mujhe kyA antara par3atA hai, yadi mere isa avarohaNa se, sRSTi kA sArA itihAsa, apane duzcakra kA bhedana kara jaaye| yadi hara AtmA eka anAdikAlIna dvaMdva ke nAgacUr3a se sadA ko mukta ho jaaye| kyoM ki merI jJAna-cetanA meM, mere avabodhana ke vAtAyana para, Upara nIce, ArohaNa-avarohaNa, utthAna-patana ke AyAma ekAntika nahIM, nirapekSa nahIM, anaikAntika aura sarvasApekSika haiN| merA yaha avarohaNa bhI, eka aura uccatara zikhara para ArohaNa nahIM hai, yaha kauna kaha sakatA hai ? trizalA, celanA, zreNika, o manuSya ke trikAlavartI beTe-beTiyo, tumhArA manacAhA ho sakA na? vahI to karane ko yahA~ AyA huuN| vahI na kara sakU~, to tIrthakaratva aura arhatattva phira kisa liye ? trizalA, apane rakta-mAMsa ke yonijAta putra ko dekho| use jI cAhA pAo, jI cAhA lo| - kyA tumhArI sAdha pUrI huI ? * * *celanA, tumhAre kaMcuki-bandha TUTa gaye ! . . para kyA tuma, pUrNakAma huI ? * * *zreNika, lo dekho - 'maiM RjubAlikA ke jala-garmoM meM zAyita hokara, magadha kI bhUmi meM AtmasAt ho gyaa| vijita, vivajita, vilopita ho gyaa| tuma niHzaMka, nirbhaya, nidvaMdva ho sake, samrATa bimbisAra zreNika ? * * nahIM, nhiiN| tuma sabake ceharoM para vRhattara praznacinha jala uThe haiN| tuma saba kitane-kitane akele, dvIpAyita, dIna, mlAna, udAsa, AtmahArA ho aba bhI / apane hI aham meM kunnddiikRt| tumhAre mUlAdhAra kI yaha sahasra

Page #311
301 kuNDalA sarpiNI kaise jAge, kaise utthAna kare ? kaise usakI pU~cha usake mukha meM A jAye, aura AtmA akhaNDa kaivalya - jyoti kA prabhAmaNDala ho jAye ? jagajjayI zreNika. kAMcana, kAminI, kIrti ke sAre sImAnta jIta kara bhI tuma kitane akele chUTa gaye ? aura aisA yaha ekarAT samrATa akelA nahIM raha sakatA / vaha bhayabhIta hai / vaha apane hI se bhayabhIta aura bhAgA huA hai| aba taka khoje usake sAre abalambana TUTa gaye haiM / vaha eka aura, eka aura avalamba khoja rahA hai / aura zreNika, aba tuma eka aura avalamba zAkya - putra siddhArtha gautama meM khoja rahe ho| tuma usake usa ajJAta AgAmI bodhisatva meM AzAnvita ho / vaha bodhisatva, jo abhI upalabdha nahIM bAhara kahIM bhI, jo abhI Ane ko hai / vaha eka aisA bhaviSya hai, jo abhI siddhArtha gautama kI bhI pakar3a se bAhara hai / jise pAne ko vaha svayam maraNAntaka tapasyAoM se guz2ara rahA hai| aura tuma apane ko Azvasta karate ho, ki eka dina vaha use labdha kara, sarvaprathama tumhAre pAsa AyegA, aura tuma sapanA dekha rahe ho, ki usakI bodhi prabhA se usa dina rAjagRhI ke caitya - upavana jhalamalA uttheNge| aura tumheM lagatA hai, ki vaha tumheM jyoM hI hAtha uThA kara udbodhita karegA, to usakI dRSTi se dRSTi milate hI tumhAre bhrUmadhya meM koI samyaktva-netra khula uThegA / mAno ki usake cIvara kI gaharI tahoM meM koI cintAmaNi chupI hogI, jo vaha nikAla kara tumhAre hAtha meM thamA degA / aura tuma, ArapAra Atma-sambuddha aura prakAzita ho uttheNge| kAza, aisA ho sakatA, zreNika ! nahIM, tumhArI isa mA~ga ko maiM 'tathAstu' nahIM kaha sakatA / aura maiM to jAtarUpa nagna hU~; mere tana para aisA koI cIvara nahIM, mere mana meM aisI koI gopana taha nahIM, jahA~ aisI koI jyotira maNi saMgopita ho, ki tumhArI Arta pukAra para vaha nikAla kara tumheM soMpa dUM / camatkAra kara dUM / nahIM, mahAvIra aisA koI AzvAsana, aisI koI AzA tumheM nahIM de sakatA / vaha kucha kahatA hI nahIM, vaha kucha karatA hI nahIM / aise kisI vAk aura karma se vaha prativaddha nahIM / apane prati bhI vaha prativaddha nahIM / atyanta apratibaddha, vaha kevala sahaja svayam Apa hai / jo jitanA, jaisA hai, vaha tumhAre sAmane hai / usakI nagnatA kevala tana kI nahIM, kevala mana kI nahIM / usa tattva kI hai, jo antataH vaha svayam Apa hai /

Page #312
302 hA~ zreNika, nigraMtha jJAtRputra tumhArA bhUdAna na svIkAra skaa| jo sambhava nahIM, use kaise sviikaaruuN| jo svabhAva nahIM vastu kA, usa vibhAva meM kaise pravRtta houuN| jisa bhUmi para antata: tumhArA adhikAra hI nahIM, usakA dAna karane vAle tuma kauna hote ho? use lene vAlA maiM kauna hotA huuN| itihAsa meM asaMkhya bAra bhUpatiyoM ne isa bhUmi para apanA ekarAT Adhipatya ghoSita kiyaa| para kyA ve saca hI, usa para adhikAra kara sake ? use rakha sake kevala apane liye, ekAnta apane dvArA adhikRta ? apane tana aura mana para bhI jo adhikAra aura zAsana na kara sake, ve bAhara kI bhUmi ke svAmI kaise? sambhava hai kevala AtmadAna / tumhArA atyanta nijI Atma, tumhArA eka mAtra svarUpa, tumhArA svayamatva, tumhArA vaha carama astitva, jo antataH tuma ho, vahI to tuma nivedita kara sakate ho| use hI to dene kA acUka adhikAra tumhArA hai| para vaha bhI kyA kisI saMkalpa yA irAde ke sAtha, kisI ko de dene kI sattA tumhArI hai ? aisA koI rAga yA vikalpa jaba taka hai, taba taka tuma vaha vizuddha Atma ho hI kaise sakate ho| saMkalpa hai to vikalpa hai hI, rAga hai to dveSa hai hI / maiM kisI ke prati apane ko detA hU~, maiM isa vyakti yA vastu kA upakAra aura trANa karU~gA, yaha aham jaba taka zeSa hai, taba taka tuma vaha zuddha Atma hote hI nahIM, jise dene kA, yA jisakI sAmarthya se para kA upakAra uddhAra karane kA dambha tuma karate ho / vaha Atma tabhI apane avikala rUpa meM prakaTa hotA hai, jaba lene-dene, karane-karAne ke sAre saMkalpa aura vikalpa samApta ho jAte haiN| basa, eka saccidAnanda jyoti kA nirjhara jAne kisa acinha , anAma utsameM se phUTa par3atA hai| vaha dAna karatA nahIM, usakA apane Apa meM nirantara pravAhana hI eka virAT AtmadAna hai, jo ApoApa aNu-aNu meM vyApta ho use prakAzita, AplAvita aura ApyAyita karatA rahatA hai| nahIM, zreNika isake atirikta kisI aura AtmadAna, jJAnadAna, sukhadAna, samAdhAna, upakAra-uddhAra kA dAvA merA nahIM / kyA dharitrI yaha kahatI hai, ki maiM tumheM dhAraNa karatI hU~? kyA AkAza yaha udghoSa karatA hai, ki maiM tumheM Thaharane ko avakAza AvAsa detA hU~ ? kyA jharanA yaha dAvA karatA hai, ki maiM tumheM jaladAna karatA hU~? kyA nadI yaha saMkalpa karake bahatI hai, ki maiM taTavartI sArI prakRti aura janAlayoM ko jIvanadAna karatI hU~ ? kyA havA ke mana meM raMca bhI koI aisA irAdA hai, ki maiM bahatI hU~, tAki

Page #313
303 prANi mAtra mere bhItara prANa dhAraNa kareM, sA~sa lete raheM? kyA vRkSa yaha socatA hai, ki maiM pathika ko chAyAdAna karatA hU~ ? yadi nahIM, to mahAvIra bhI aisA koI saMkalpa nahIM rakhatA, aisA koI AzvAsana nahIM detA, aisA koI dAvA nahIM karatA / vaha AzvAsana tumheM jahA~ se prApta huA hai, vahA~ se vaha bodhi tuma sAnanda prApta karo, zreNika / maiM nizcinta hU~, maiM Azvasta hU~, apane bAre meM, tumhAre bAre meM / jahA~ se bhI jo cAho pAo, jisa bhI rAha jAnA cAho jAo / sArI rAheM antataH usI eka Atma kI ora jAtI haiN| sAre gamanAgamana usI ekameva gantavya kI ora gatizIla haiM | apanA sukha, apanA prAptavya jahA~ bhI tumheM dIkhe, usa ora nirvikalpa, nirdvadva bar3ha jAo / mila jAyegA / para yaha anivArya hai ki vikalpa aura dvaMdva mana meM na rahe / tarka-vitarka aura hicaka jI meM na Aye / avicala, ekAgra apane lakSya kA sandhAna karo, vaha jahA~ bhI dikhAI par3e / para unnati aura mukti kI yAtrA kuTila jaTila aneka cakra-pathoM ko pAra karatI huI hI sambhava hotI / hara AtmA apane bhItara kI usa parama kumArikA ko pAne ke liye apanI hI cAhoM ke atyanta apane aura nirAle ku~vAre jaMgaloM ko pAra karake hI, usa taka pahu~ca sakatI hai| usa rAha meM mahAvIra par3atA hai yA siddhArtha gautama par3atA hai, to unase bhI guz2ara hI jAnA hogA / vahA~ bhI maMz2ila nahIM / vahA~ bhI rukA nahIM jA sakatA / ye saba siddhAcala ke ArohaNa mArga ke aneka par3Ava haiM, caTTiyA~ haiM, dharmazAlAe~ haiM / jo tumhArA gantavya hai, vaha atyanta vilakSaNa, atyanta nijI, ekameva tumhArA hai / apanI usa ekameva akala ku~vArI priyA taka pahu~ce binA caina aura virAma tuma pA nahIM sakate, jo sarvadeza aura sarvakAla meM nitAnta tumhAre liye hai, kevala tumhArI hai| jo vaha apanI ekAnta satI rAnI hai, jisa taka pahu~cane ke liye AtmAe~ avizrAnta bhAva se jAne kitane hI durgama, durbhedya, sarpa-kuMDalita bhavAraNya pAra karatI hI calI jAtI haiM / rAga-dveSa aura IrSyA ke aneka graMthila nAgacUr3oM meM grasta hotI hai / jo priyA atyanta aura antima apanI nahIM hai, use hI apanI AtmA mAna kara usakI USma-zItala kuntalachA~va meM parama prIti kA AzvAsana, ekatva aura vizrAma khojatI hai / para dekhate-dekhate vaha priyA parAyI ho uThatI hai / dekhate-dekhate nigAheM badalI badalI ho jAtI haiN| jo savere mere liye prANa taka de dene ko udyata thI, vaha usI zAma mere prANa lene taka ko bhI sannaddha ho sakatI

Page #314
304 hai / jo kala taka merI sarvasva thI, Aja vahI merI sarvasvahAriNI ho kara prakaTa ho jAtI hai| jo kala taka, apane prANa aura AtmA se bhI adhika apanI lagatI thI, vaha Aja itanI itanI parAyI ho uThatI hai, ki pahacAnanA kaThina ho jAtA hai / kitane ajanabI, kitane parAye haiM, hama saba yahA~ eka dUsare ko / aura isa ajanaviyata aura parAye pana ke registAna meM, hara kahIM dUra para apanI pyAsa kA bhrAnta jala dekha daur3a par3ate haiM usa ora betahAzA / jAne kitane hI apanatva ke osiyasa jagaha-jagaha dikhAyI par3ate haiM / hA~pha jAte haiM, giragira par3ate haiM, sA~se cukacuka jAtI haiM-- una taka pahuMcane meM aura ve dUra hI sarakate jAte haiM, apanI bA~ha aura A~khoM meM A kara bhI kSaNa mAtra meM sirA jAte haiM / 1 isa aphATa maru- prAntara meM aba taka tumane kitane na sahAre khoje, zreNika ! vastu, sampadA, bhUmi, sAmrAjya, ratna-kAMcana, ramaNI, mahAvIra, aura aba siddhArtha gautama / kyA tumhArI cAha kA vaha antima avalamba, tumheM mila sakA ? kyA apane prANa kA vaha cira abhIpsitta zaraNAMcala, samAdhAna, upadhAna tumheM prApta ho sakA, jisa para mAthA DhAla kara tuma antima rUpa se nizcinta, bekhaTaka, vizrAnta, vizrabdha ho sako ? celanA ne tumheM kyA na denA cAhA ? usa jaisI paramA sundarI satI kA sarvasva samarpaNa bhI kyA tumheM paritRpta, samAdhIta kara sakA ? usase pUrva nandazrI kA AtmArpaNa bhI kyA kama niSkAma thA ? celanA aura nandA ne kyA kucha bacA kara rakkhA, ki jo unhoMne tumheM na diyA ? kosalA, kSemA aura deza-dezAntaroM kI aneka rAniyA~ aura kumArikAe~ tumhArI ekAnta samarpitA antaHpurikAe~ hokara raha gaIM / sAlavatI kA lAvaNya aura yauvana mAno tumhAre hI liye magadha kI bhUmi meM se ratna kI taraha prakaTa huA aura vaha tumhArA kaNThahAra ho kara raha gayA / phira bhI kyA vaha tumheM manacAhA ApalAvana aura utsaMga de sakI ? aura tumhArI carama svapna AmrapAlI ! sAkSAt hote hI vaha svapna tumhArA TUTa gayA / tuma aharniza usake dhyAna meM jI rahe the, usI ke saurabhavidhura kalpAMcala meM sA~sa le rahe the / aura tumane pAyA ki vaha rudeha sammukha upasthita ho kara bhI apane usa aizvarya kakSa meM nahIM thI / vaha apanI usa muktA-markana zaiyA meM adhaleTI ho kara bhI, vahA~ nahIM thI / vaha vetAMba thI, becaina thI, aura apane hI Apa ko sulabha nahIM thI / vaha apane hI

Page #315
305 vaza meM aura apanI hI nahIM thii| vaha apane hI Apako ajanabI aura parAyI thii| taba vaha tumhArI kaise ho sakatI thI? tumhArA samasta citta usameM lagA thA, aura usakA citta kahIM aura hI lagA thaa| tuma usake dhyAna meM hI ekAgra jI rahe the, aura vaha usa nagna akiMcana puruSa ke dhyAna meM kendrita jI rahI thI, jo kisI eka kA hone ko janmA hI nahIM hai| jo hara kisI kA hai, isI se kisI kA nahIM hai| hamAre gAr3hatama AliMgana meM gutha kara joM ramaNI hamArI sA~soM meM mUcchita, samarpita aura vijita ho rahI hai, vaha kaba hamAre AliMgana se bAhara ho gaI,hai, patA hI nahIM cltaa| hara AliMgana, hara maithuna meM hama usI eka parama ekatva aura ananyatva ko hI to khoja rahe haiM, jo hara AtmA kI parAtpara vAsanA hai, aura jise pAye binA anAdi-ananta kAla meM bhI, hameM caina nhiiN| para kyA gAr3hatama AliMgana aura caramatama maithuna meM bhI vaha ekatva upalabdha ho pAtA hai ? TUTatI huI rakta kI dhArA aura cukatI huI sA~soM se Age, usa AliMgana aura maithuna kI gati nahIM / jAno vizva-vijetA zreNika biMbisAra, pratyakSa dekho Atman, nirdhAnta dekho : janmAntaroM kI ina sArI milanAkula yAtrAoM meM, carama-parama saundarya aura pyAra ke parAtpara AliMganoM aura maithunoM meM bhI, kyA tumhArA vaha anAdi abhIpsita, acUka milana tumheM upalabdha ho sakA? __ jo dekha rahA hU~ samakSa, pratyakSa, vaha yaha hai ki eka-dUsare meM ekatva lAbha karane kI sArI kasakoM, tar3apanoM, kazamazoM ke bAvajUda, tuma saba kitane akele, ekAkI ho| kitanI akelI ho gaI hai celanA! kitanI akelI hai nandA! kitanI akelI hai sAlavatI / kitanI akelI hai AmrapAlI / kitane akele ho tuma ! kitanA asaMga ekAkI, maraNAntaka saMgharSa kara rahA hai siddhArtha gautama, bodhilAbha kI agama rAhoM meM, mRtyu kI durbhedya ghATiyoM meM ! aura tuma, zreNika, usameM eka aura avalamba khoja rahe ho ? aura dekho, kitanA akelA, ekAkI, akiMcana, akiMcitkara hai nigraMtha jJAtRputra mahAvIra ! vaha tumhArI bhUmi ke atalAnta pAtAloM meM utara gayA hai, ki kAza, vaha sattA meM koI aisA dvAra mukta kara sake, jisakI rAha vaha tuma sabakI AtmAoM meM acUka praveza pA ske| koI aisA vAtAyana, koI aisA kakSa, koI aisI zaiyA, jahAM hara ramaNa aura ramaNI, usa AliMgana aura maithuna meM ekatva lAbha kara sakeM, jisameM phira anya aura anyatra kI virahavyathA sadA ko nirvANa pA jaaye|

Page #316
306 yahA~, isa ujAr3a udyAna meM, isa nirjana nadI ke taTa para se vaha puruSa' lupta ho cukA, zreNika, jisake rahate tuma itane parAjita aura bhayabhIta the / jisakI upasthiti tumhArI carama IrSyA kA viSaya thii| jise tuma saha nahIM sakate the, aura jisake binA tuma raha nahIM sakate the / vaha mahAvIra kisI aura hI taTa para utara gayA, Atman / aba yahA~ akele raha kara tuma kyA karoge ? lauTa jAo zreNika, apane ghara, apane mahAlaya meM, celanA ke pAsa, AmrapAlI ke pAsa, apane sAmrAjya meM, yadi vaha sambhava ho ! aura cAho to pratIkSA karo tathAgata gautama buddha kii| zAyada ve tumheM vaha de sakeM, jo maiM tumheM nahIM de sakA / albidA, anamya, ajeya zreNika bhambhAsAra / O

Page #317
bhItara khulate vAtAyanoM para bAharI pRthvI se asampRkta ho gayA hai| apane hI zarIra kI mUla pRthvI meM utara gayA huuN| rakta-zirAoM ke andhakAra ko pAra kara, haDDiyoM ke polAnoM meM vyApta tamasa se gujara gayA huuN| majjA ke ati mahIna ghanatva ko vidIrNa karatA huA vizuddha mATI ke loka meM se saMkramaNa kara rahA huuN| pudgala ke skandhoM meM se rAheM khula rahI haiN| yahA~ usa maulika kArmika raja ke sIdhe saMsparza meM hU~, jisake uttarottara parivarddhamAna ghanatvoM meM se, sRSTi meM AkRtiyA~ prakaTa hotI haiN| yahA~ hamArI cetanA kI vibhinna pariNatiyA~ hI kaise piNDIkRta aura bhAvita hotI haiM, usa prakriyA kA sAkSya anubhava meM A rahA hai| ___ isa carama aura tAtvika andhakAra kI nIrandhratA meM eka ajIba aura beroka vyAkulatA hai| mAno ki yaha andhatA aba apane Apa meM Thahara nahIM sktii| jaise ki abhI aucaka hI isameM A~kha khula utthegii| raha-rahakara mAno isa tamasA meM prakAza ke paramANu tAroM kI taraha Timaka kara bujha jAte haiN| abhIabhI jaise kahIM eka niHzabda visphoTa hogA, aura koI vibhrAT jyoti jala utthegii| koI aisA ujAlA, jo andhakAra kA virodhI nahIM, andhakAra bhI jisase bAhara nahIM, mAtra isakI eka bahirmukha pariNati hai / tatva kI isa antarimA meM usake sAre sambhavita AyAmoM ke bIja, sarvatra rAziyoM meM phaile, phUTate aura a~khuvAte dIkha rahe haiN| "cAroM ora jaise asaMkhya khulI A~khoM se ghira gayA huuN| aura taba isa ghanIbhUta aMdhiyAre kardama se lagA kara, isameM se phUTane vAle kamala taka kI dUrI lupta-sI ho gaI hai| eka mAyA, eka lIlA mAtra / "kitanA akelA ho gayA huuN| bhayAvaha hai yaha ekAkIpana / bAhara ke jagata . se, jIvana se, isa qadara viyukta to pahale kabhI nahIM huA thaa| saba-kucha se kaTa kara, bichur3a kara, itanA akelA par3a gayA hU~, ki isa ekalatA meM ThaharA nahIM jA rahA hai| saba ke sAtha zAzvata jur3Ava meM jIne kI anavarata sAdhanA aba taka karatA rhaa| saba ke prati apane ko itanA niHzeSa diyA, ki apane Atma ko maiMne jaise rahane hI nahIM diyaa| phira bhI kyA saba ke sAtha saMpUrNa yoga aura ekatva siddha ho sakA?

Page #318
308 hara sammukha Ane vAle jIvAtmA ke janma-janmAntarINa andhakAroM meM saMkramaNa aura atikramaNa kiyA hai| mere usa sampUrNa AtmadAna se, pUrvajanma kI aneka sambandhita AtmAoM kI janama-janama kI graMthiyA~ unmocita huI haiM, mere aura unake bIca ke karmAvaraNa kI aneka abhedya dIvAreM TUTI haiN| eka mahAbhAva prema ke bhItara unake sAtha, niravachinna milana kI anubhUti huI hai| lekina phira bhI kyA unake aura mere bIca vaha mukti ghaTita ho sakI, jisake bAda koI bhI graMthi yA AvaraNa zakya na raha jAye ? kyA antima graMthi kA mocana ho gayA, kyA antima AvaraNa haTa gayA ? pahale hI dina apane baila ke guma ho jAne para, apanI rassI ko tiharI ba~Ta kara mujhe kor3e mArane vAlA gvAlA ho, ki zUlapANi yakSa ho, ki saMgama deva ho, ki sudaMSTra nAgakumAra ho, ki kaTapUtanA bANa-vyantarI ho, ki antima bAra zUloM se ArapAra merA karNavedha aura mastakabheda karane vAlA gopAla ho, nizcaya hI ina sabhI kI janama-janama kI kaSAya-graMthiyoM kA mocana huA hai| ina sabhI ke manoM meM, mere prati jo cirakAla kI vairAgni jala rahI thI, usakA zamana bhI niHsandeha huA hai| ina sabhI kI kSamA aura prIti bhI mujhe sadA ko prApta ho gaI hai| apane jI kI bAta, apanA pyAra inakI AtmAoM taka pahu~cAne meM bhI zAyada maiM yatkicit saphala huA huuN| phira bhI kyA triloka aura trikAla meM inake sAtha maiM niravachinna-rUpa se ghaTita ho sakA hU~? kyA inake sAtha merA samvAda aura sampreSaNa avyAhata ho sakA hai ? lagatA hai ki inake aura mere bIca aba bhI koI aisA aparibhASeya rikta banA hai, jisakI sampUrti abhI nahIM ho sakI hai| sarvakAla aura sarvadeza kI asaMkhya koTi AtmAoM ke sAtha abhI jaise pUrNa jJAnAtmaka sAyujya upalabdha nahIM ho sakA hai| apane ko aNumAtra bhI to bacAkara nahIM rakkhA hai| apanI isa deha ko tila-tila havana ho jAne diyA hai| phira bhI sadeha jaise mRtyu kA samudra taira gayA huuN| bArambAra eka anAhata, avyAbAdha jIvana jIne kI anubhUti bhI huI hai| phira bhI kyA kAraNa hai ki eka aphATa zUnya meM Aja akelA chUTa gayA hU~ ? ""maiM maiM maiN| vaha vaha vh| isa cirantan dvaita se kahAM nistAra hai| kyA yaha satarkatA aba bhI mujha meM nahIM hai, ki maiM hU~ koI viziSTa puruSa mahAvIra ? jisane apane janama-janama ke bairiyoM ko khoja kara, unheM apane prema aura kSamA se jaya kiyA hai| ki maiM ina saba kA taraNopAya banA huuN| ki maiM trAtA hU~, sarva kA paritrAtA huuN| sarva paritrANa ke liye hI merA avataraNa huA hai| kyA mere isa aham kA nirmUlana ho sakA hai ? aura yaha aham jaba taka aNu mAtra bhI zeSa hai, taba taka sarva ke aura mere bIca kI antima khandaka kaise paTa sakatI hai? vaha nahIM paTa sakI hai, isIse to isa zUnya meM itanA akelA chuTa gayA huuN|

Page #319
. aisA laga rahA hai, ki isa dvaita kA nirAkaraNa kisI advaita meM bhI nahIM hai| vaha bhI eka zAbdika vikalpa yA dhAraNA hI to hai| zuddha AtmAnubhUti meM na dvaita hai, na advaita / basa, jo yathArtha meM hai, vahI hai, jisakI paribhASA sambhava nhiiN| paribhASA mAtra vikalpa hai| / ina aneka jIvAtmAoM kI kaSAya-kliSTa cetanA ke prati maiM dayA aura karuNA se bhara-bhara AyA huuN| aura yaha dayA aura karuNA bhI kyA dvaitabhAva hI nahIM hai ? pUrNa vItarAga hue binA, pUrNa prema aura pUrNa ekatva meM avasthiti kaise sambhava hai ? maiM aura vaha kA vikalpa jaba taka hai, taba taka saba ke sAtha sUkSma rAga to banA hI huA hai| phira cAhe vaha kitanA hI sAtvika aura mAMgalika kyoM na ho| aura jaba taka yaha rAga. hai, taba taka viccheda aura alagAva hai hii| yaha rAga saMvedana hai, spandana hai, utsphuraNa hai| isake rahate caitanya meM vikSobha aura vikalpa kA cAMcalya rahegA hii| yaha samvedana jaba taka pUrNa jJAna se prakAzita na ho uThe, taba taka sarva ke sAtha samyak darzana, samyak jJAna aura samyak cAritya meM avasthita nahIM huA jA sktaa| apane Atma-pariNAmoM ko isa kSaNa pratyakSa dekha rahA huuN| karmodaya se jo rAga-dveSAtmaka bhAva utpanna hote haiM, usa vikSobha se maiM bezaka Age jA cukA huuN| sAtvika vRttiyoM ke saMvega ke kAraNa jo karma-bIja kA nipaTa tAtkAlika upazamana hotA hai, usa kSaNikatA meM bhI mere pariNAma baddha nahIM haiN| tIvra vItarAgatA ke udaya se kabhI-kabhI apane anAdi karma-mala kA vipala mAtra meM kSaya honA bhI anubhava kiyA hai| para niHzeSa karma-mala kI nirjarA to huI nhiiN| taba yaha kSAyika bhAva bhI AtmA kI eka guz2aratI avasthA se adhika na ho sakA / kSayopazamika bhAva meM hI aba bhI yAtrA cala rahI hai| kucha karma mAtra upazamita ho rahate haiM, to kucha karma jhar3a jAte haiN| kSaya aura upazama kI yaha eka milI-julI avasthA-sI hai| ina sArI avasthAoM se pare jo Atma-sthiti hai, usakI bArambAra jhalaka pA kara bhI, usakI antara-muhUrta anubhUti meM stabdha hokara bhI, phira avasthA vizeSa meM avarUr3ha ho jAnA hotA hai| ___ karmoM ke udaya, upazama, kSaya, kSayopazama se pare kI vaha Atma-sthiti kaise upalabdha karU~, jisameM binA kisI bAhya nimitta ke, binA kisI nimna yA Urdhva pratikriyA ke, eka zuddha bezarta, nisarga pariNamana meM hI avasthAna ho jaaye| eka aisI mahAbhAva-sthiti, jisameM darzana, jJAna, sukha aura vIrya nitAnta svataMtra hokara, eka vizuddha aura akAraNa AtmorjA ke rUpa meM mere bhItara ramaNazIla rheN| eka aisA bezarta ninaimittika Atma-ramaNa aura antamathuna, jisameM binA kisI cAha, vikalpa yA bAharI kriyA ke bhI, jIva mAtra aura padArtha mAtra ke sAtha, eka nirantara milana-maithuna antahIna ho jaaye| usa zuddha pAriNAmika bhAva ko kaise upalabdha huA jAye?

Page #320
310 jaba taka usa mukAma para na pahu~ca jAU~, taba taka mere satya, ahiMsA, aparigraha, dayA, sahAnubhUti, karuNA, prema, khaNDita aura apUrNa hI rheNge| ye saba saMvedana haiM, pravRttiyA~ haiM jo para-nirbhara haiM, isI kAraNa dvaita aura vikalpa se grasta haiN| ye saba ahamjanya mana kI udAtta avasthAoM se adhika nhiiN| inakA pratikalpa aura pratiloma kahIM hai hii| aisA lagatA hai, ki mere isa Urdhvamukha saMvedana ko hI, nitAnta jJAna ho jAnA pdd'egaa| carama samvedana kI parama pariNati pUrNajJAna meM hue binA raha nahIM sktii| samvedana nahIM, zuddha Atmavedana cAhiye / vahI AtmajJAna hai| pUrNa AtmajJAna binA, pUrNa sarvajJAna sambhava nahIM dIkha rhaa| 'maiM kauna hU~ ?' kA uttara, aneka prasaMgoM meM, aura aneka cetanA-staroM para samyak rUpa se pAyA hai| para kyA vaha uttara maiM svayam ho sakA hU~? taba taka kaise kahU~, ki ThIka jAna gayA hU~, ki maiM kauna huuN| merA Atmabodha abhI dUsaroM ke sAtha ghaTita hone para nirbhara karatA hai, vaha akAraNa svataHsphUrta akhaNDa anubhUti kI lau nahIM ho sakA hai| ___..abhI kala taka bhI, kyA zreNika ke sAtha eka udbodhanAtmaka pratikriyA meM hI ghaTita nahIM ho rahA thA? zreNika, aura usase jur3I haiM celanA, nandA, kosalA, kSemA, AmrapAlI, saalvtii| usase sambaddha AryAvarta kI sArI hI nagara-vadhueM, dUra-dUrAnta ke sAre dezoM, dvIpoM, samudra-taToM kI ve sundariyAM, kumAriyAM, jinake sAtha zreNika kI AtmA antargrasta hai| abhaya rAjakumAra, ajAtazatru, varSakAra, vaizAlI aura magadha ke bIca kA saMgharSa, zreNika kA sAmrAjyasvapna / tamAma samakAlIna vizva kI jIvana-lIlA, usake vaiSamya, visamvAda, usake yuddha aura saMdhiyA~, zAntiyA~ aura ashaantiyaaN| upagrahoM aura vigrahoM ke bezumAra zAkhAjAla / zreNika meM ho kara, celanA meM ho kara, trizalA kI vedanA meM ho kara, isa sArI saMsAra-zRMkhalA se abhI kala taka jUjhatA rahA hai| apane pyAra ke madhura rakta-rasAyana meM DubA-DubA kara isa lohe kI sA~kala ko sone kI sAMkala meM rUpAntarita kiye binA jaise mujhe caina nhiiN| para dekhatA hU~ ki alaga-alaga kar3iyoM ke jur3Ava se nirmita yaha saMkalanA jaba taka sAMkala hai, taba taka bandhana aura alagAva banA hI hai| TakarAva, bhaTakAva aura ulajhAva antahIna rUpa se jArI hai| aura dekha rahA hU~ ki sahasA hI, isa mahAraMgamaMca ke hama sAre hI abhinetA, eka jhaTake ke sAtha nitAnta akele par3a gaye haiN| jhanajhanA kara sAMkala TUTa par3I hai| kar3iyA~ bikhara kara apane-apane ekAntoM meM jA par3I haiM, aura chaTapaTA rahI haiN| saMvAda aura sampreSaNa kI sImAntika khir3akiyAM acAnaka banda ho gaI haiN| mana aura indriyoM ne javAba de diyA hai| unhoMne apanI sImA aura hAra svIkAra kara lI hai| eka gatyavarodha ke mAnuSottara parvata ne hamArI cetanA kI rAheM rUMdha dI haiN| ekalatA ke isa mahAzUnya taTa para hama saba, hAya, kitane-kitane-kitane akele haiM !

Page #321
311 yAda A rahA hai, SaDgamAni grAma ke upAnta bhAga meM usa dina kAyotsarga meM praveza karate hI, kaisI bhayAvaha niyati kI padacApa samasta AkAza-nAr3I meM dhvanita sunAI par3I thii| aura phira usa gopAla ne jaba zalya dvArA merA karNavedha kiyA, to lagA ki merI cetanA meM jo bahuta gahare kahIM eka darAra chupI thI, vaha nagna hokara sAmane A gii| usa mahAvedanA meM, ekAeka maiM avaza cItkAra uThA apane bAvajUda 'mA~' ! saMsAra ke pratyeka prANi aura vastu kA anAthatva usa meM anuguMjita ho utthaa| vaha pukAra mAno kahIM antima zaraNa pA jAne ke liye thii| para kyA vaha zaraNa apane se anya meM aura anyatra kahIM sambhava hai ? aura vaha cIkha jaise ananta-koTi brahmANDoM ko vidIrNa kara gii| samasta vizvAtmA ke hRdaya meM jaise darAra par3a gii| yA ki vaha darAra cirakAla se vahA~ thI, aura usa AghAta se vaha khula kara sAmane A gaI? ___"basa, usI kSaNa maiM antima rUpa se akelA par3a gayA thaa| mAno apane hI se bichur3a gayA thaa| apane hI Upara, kaisI dayA, karuNA A gaI thii| mAno apane hI liye pahalI bAra ro uThA, aura kahIM kisI mA~ meM zaraNa khojii| pukAra uThA : 'o mA~, tuma kahA~ ho ?' vaha ronA nitAnta apane hI liye ho kara bhI kyA saba ke liye nahIM thA? kyA trizalA kI viraha-vedanA usameM nahIM thI? kyA candanA kI bhaTakane, khoja, saMkaTa-saMgharSa, uccATana, usakI antahIna pukAra kA pratikAra usameM nahIM thA? "oha, laga uThA thA ki hAya, kitanA anizcita, arakSita aura ghAtya hai yahA~ hamArA astitva ! roga, zoka, jarA, viyoga, akasmAt, mRtyu ke caMgula meM hI hama pratipala jIte haiN| kyA koI aisA jIvana sambhava nahIM, jisake hama svAmI hoM, jisameM kSaya, mutyu aura dhiyoga mAtra hamAre adhIna anivArya sajJAna avasthAe~ hoM? jinameM se hama yoM gujara jAyeM, jaise Upara kI maMz2ila meM car3hane ke liye, hameM nicalI maMjila ko pIche chor3a denA hotA hai| siddhArtha vaNika aura kharaka vaidya dvArA zalya-mukti pA kara jaba calA, to kitanA akelA pAyA thA apane ko magadha kI rAha pr| bichoha kI usa anubhUti ko, kisI bhI mAnavIya viyoga ke pariprekSya meM nahIM samajhA jA sktaa| 'mA~' kI avaza pukAra jaba 'AtmA ' meM pratidhvanita huI, taba bhI kyA khoja usa ekameva mA~ aura ramaNI kI hI nahIM thI, jisakI goda meM hI parama vizrAma aura mukti sambhava hai? . "aura maiM celanA ke deza calA aayaa| aura taba kyA nahIM diyA mujhe celanA ne ? saMsAra meM usase bar3A sukha aura kyA ho sakatA hai ? prIti aura AtmArpaNa kI usa yajJazikhA se adhika sundara aura kauna ceharA ho sakatA hai ? AtmA kI carama viraha-vyathA se vidagdha vaha dardIlI mukha-mudrA ! para hAya, phira bhI kyA celanA mujha meM sampUrNa A sakI, yA maiM usameM sampUrNa jA sakA?

Page #322
312 kyA vaha maiM ho sakI, yA maiM vaha ho sakA? .. antima bichoha ke taTa para, kitane vivaza apane meM banda, mUka, hama eka-dUsare ko tAkate raha gaye! talachaTa taka eka-dUsare ko jAnakara bhI, kaise ghora ajJAna ke pahacAnahIna a~dhiyAre samudra meM hama chUTa gye| tUfAnI laharoM meM DUbate mastUloM-se hama eka-dUsare kI naz2aroM se ojhala hote cale gye|... zreNika bhI eka aura nimitta banA, apanI pahacAna ke saMgharSa kaa| magadha meM mere yoM nizcala khar3e rahate, use apane astitva ke aham ko TikAye rakhanA azakya ho gyaa| aura maiM manuSya ke usa carama aham se jUjhe binA apane Atma ke dhruva para kaise ArUr3ha ho sakatA thaa| mAno ki zreNika merI kasauTI thaa| mAno ki vaha merI sattA ke mApa kA merudaNDa thaa| aura usa para apane ananta ko siddha kiye binA maiM jaise apanI AtmA kA ceharA anavaguNThita nahIM kara sakatA thaa| mAno ki zreNika se nivRtta hue binA, use udbodhe aura ubAre binA, jaise maiM svayam Apa nahIM ho sakatA thaa| mo anta taka use sambodhana kiyA, saba ko sambodhana kiyaa| "aura acAnaka pAyA ki saMvAda-sampreSaNa kI khir3akiyA~ dhar3Ama se ekAeka banda ho gayI haiN| hama saba apane-apane meM lauTa gaye haiN| eka Adima andhakAra ke samudra meM kIlita, dUra-dUra para chiTake aneka dvIpa, jo apane hI bhItara kI qhandakoM meM avaruddha haiN| jagata, jIvana, vastu, vyakti, saba ke sAtha aba taka jisa cetanA-stara para sampreSaNa aura samvAda sambhava thA, vaha aba pIche chUTa gayA hai| vahA~ lauTanA aba sambhava nhiiN| vahA~ gatyavarodha aura kuNThAM kI AkhirI caTTAna sAmane A gaI, tabhI to vahA~ se uccATita aura utkrAnta ho jAnA pdd'aa| aba isa ekalatA ke sImAhIna zUnya meM, kisI naye kSitija kI kora dekhane ko pratikSaNa chaTapaTA rahA huuN| apanI pichalI pahacAna hAtha se nikala cukI hai| aura agalI pahacAna aba maiM nahIM khoja rhaa| kyA koI ekameva aura avikala pahacAna merI nahIM? vaha jaba taka hAtha meM na A jAye, taba taka kaise jAna sakatA hU~, ki 'maiM kauna hU~?' aura jaba taka apane hI ko antima pariprekSya meM na jAna lUM, taba taka auroM ko antima rUpa se jAna lene kA dAvA kaise kara sakatA huuN| .''jahA~ Aja khir3akiyA~ banda ho gaI haiM, kyA usase Age vastuoM aura vyaktiyoM para koI aisA sampUrNa maNDalAkAra vAtAyana nahIM khula sakatA, ki jisake taTa para maiM unake bhItara abAdha saMkramaNa aura atikramaNa karU~, aura ve mere bhItara beroka aura anAhata bhAva se AliMgita hote cale aayeN| '.."maiM hU~, aura ve haiN| maiM kauna hU~, ve kauna haiM ? unase merA kyA sambandha hai ? unheM maiM kaise pUrNa jAnUM, pUrNa prApta kara lUM? kaise unase anivAra tadAkAra ho rahU~? kaise maiM ve ho

Page #323
313 jAU~, ve maiM ho jAyeM ?'-ye sAre vikalpa jahA~ samApta ho jaayeN| basa, kevala vizuddha sva-bhAva meM mila vaha samudrAnubhUti raha jAye, jisameM taraMga kA samudratva aura samudra kA taraMgatva svataH hI nirNIta hotA rhe| jahA~ sva-para, dvaita-advaita, nitya-anitya se pare, svAyatta sattA meM sAre astitva Apa hI prabuddha, paribhASita, sahaja sambandhita hote rheN| jahA~ Atma-samvedana aura Atma-jJAna, para-saMvedana aura para-jJAna bhI, usa ekameva jJAnAnubhUti meM lau-lIna ho jAye, jahA~ alaga se jAnanA aura anubhava karanA taka anAvazyaka ho jaaye| aisA laga rahA hai, ki eka bAra sattA kI usa zuddha pAriNAmika sthiti meM AtmottIrNa hue binA, AtmA aura padArtha, jIvana aura jagata ke sAtha vaha sampreSaNa aura samvAda sambhava nahIM, jise pAye binA majhe virAma nhiiN| jisake binA mAno maiM eka sattAhIna zUnya ke taTa para, sadA ke liye jaise nirvAsita ho gayA huuN| jisake binA aba kSaNa bhara bhI sattA meM merA ThaharAva sambhava nhiiN| ___ kyA yaha ekAkIpana hI merI aura saba kI antima niyati hai ? yA koI aisA ekatva bhI kahIM sambhava hai, jahA~ alagAva nahIM, bichoha nahIM ? yahAM to jJAna taka eka pAradarza sphaTika kI mahIna kintu abhedya dIvAra bana kara, hama sabako asaMkhya koNoM, AyAmoM, AkAroM meM khaNDita, vibhAjita kara chor3atA hai| kyA kahIM koI aisA sAmarasya sambhava hai, eka aisA agAdha aura akatha milana-sukha, maithuna-sukha, jisameM pratikSaNa dvaita advaita aura advaita dvaita hotA rahatA hai ? jisameM eka meM aneka aura aneka meM eka kA lIlA-khela avinAbhAvI bhAva se calatA rahatA hai / jahA~ eka hI antara-muhUrta meM pUrNajJAna hI pUrNa samvedana, aura pUrNa samvedana hI pUrNa jJAna hotA rahatA hai| "asIma pariNamana ke samudra para eka akampa lo, jisameM sArA samudra apanI ananta vAsanA ke sAtha nirantara ekAgra Alor3ita hai| dekhatA hU~, ki eka anuprekSaNa mere bhItara cala rahA hai| lagatA hai ki yaha saMsAra mAno eka vizAla karaNDaka kI taraha mere sAmane upasthita hai| isakI paraspara bunI-guMthI tIliyAM apane hI Apako dhokhA de gaI haiN| aura merI nAsAgra dRSTi ke bhedana se ve chinna-bhinna ho kara isa karaNDaka ke sAre gopita ulajhAvoM aura rahasyoM kA pardA fAza kara denA cAhatI haiN| aura yaha saMsAra mere sammukha yoM khula rahA hai, mAno hara piTArI ke bhItara se eka aura banda piTArI nikala kara sAmane A jAtI hai| piTArI ke bhItara piTArI, piTArI ke bhItara piTArI, eka aura eka aura eka aura pittaarii| bacapana meM mAM kI kahI eka kahAnI meM, aisI hI eka Adi vRddha bur3hiyA kI rahasyamayI mahA piTArI kI bAta AtI thii| hara dina vaha bur3hiyA piTArI meM se eka aura piTArI nikAla kara usake tilasmoM

Page #324
314 kA varNana karate na thakatI thii| aura Aqhira hara piTArI kA tilasma aucaka hI TUTa jAtA thA, aura bur3hiyA hAya-hAya kara vilApa karane lagatI thii| mujhe usake sAtha kaisI hamadardI aura asahya sahavedanA anubhava hotI thI ! ... Aja usI mahA karaNDaka kI kathA, mere liye satyAnveSaNa kA eka mAdhyama bana gayI hai| aura isa jagata ke mohaka indrajAla eka-eka kara bur3hiyA ke una tilasmoM kI taraha TUTa rahe haiN| isa hada taka, ki apane isa draSTA ko ThaharAne ke liye hara upalabdha pRthvI choTI par3a rahI hai| ThaharAva kA hara paTala hAtha se nikalA jA rahA hai| kahAM, kitanI dUra hai vaha dhruva, jisa para avicala rUpa se TikA jA sake, avasthita huA jA ske| kahIM koI dhruva hai bhI, yA nahIM ? / aura atikramaNa kI isa prakriyA ke daurAna, sahasA hI jaise pariprekSaNa kI eka nayI dRSTi kisI adRSTha meM se utara AI kuMjI kI taraha mere sAmane taira AI hai| spaSTa pratibodha pAyA ki aba taka maiM kisI AtmA ko pUrva-sthApita kara, usI ke cazme se astitva ko dekhatA thA, aura usakI eka mUlagata vyAkhyA karatA. calA jAtA thaa| tatva se Arambha karake astitva taka jAtA thaa| apane hI Atma meM avasthita ho kara, astitva kI sArI viSamatA, jaTilatA aura vAsadI ko vyartha kara detA thaa| tatva meM astitva ko nirvApita kara, mAno usase palAyana kara jAtA thaa| zAyada yahI kAraNa ho ki astitva ke virAT anekatva aura vaividhya ke sAtha acAnaka, parAkASThA para pahuMca kara, merA saMvAda bhaMga ho gayA hai| jIvanta astitva ko, usake duHkhoM, saMgharSoM, santrAsoM, visamvAdoM sahita aNu-prati-aNu, koNa-prati-koNa, jiye-bhoge avagAhe-jAne binA, usake sAtha anaikAntika tatva ko kaise samagra AzleSita kiyA jA sakatA hai ? isa sImAhIna astitva ko, isakI nAnAmukhI virAT trAsadI ke sAtha, samUcA sAkSAt karanA hogaa| ise tatva meM visarjita kiye binA, isake bahutva aura vaiSamya ko jyoM kA tyoM, jaisA vastutaH sAmane hai, vaisA dekhanA, bhoganA aura jAnanA hogaa| isakI bhayAvahatA aura trAsadI kA bezarta, nirvikalpa muqAbilA karanA hogaa| ise apanI dhAraNAoM se vyAkhyAyita nahIM karanA hogA, nirvicAra aura niHsaMga saMcetanA se isake sAtha TakarAnA hogaa| nahIM, na astitva kA koI vAda banAnA hogA; na tatva kaa| nirvivAda aura nirvikalpa vastu-sthiti jo, jaisI sAmane A rahI hai, jaisI vaha upalabdha hai, usI meM apane ko ghaTita dekhanA aura samajhanA hogaa| apane ko pUrA jAnane aura pAne ke liye, sarva ke sAtha sampUrNa ulajhAva anivArya hai| ...aura isa prakANDa billaurI karaNDaka kA raMgIna tilasmI pardA, vipala mAtra meM caracarA kara jIrNa vastra kI taraha phaTa gyaa| aura dekha rahA hU~, ki yahA~

Page #325
315 ke ye sAre rUpAkAra pratikSaNa vinAza se grasta haiN| jo rUpa, jo AkAra, jo ceharA pichale kSaNa sAmane thA, vahI agale kSaNa nahIM hai| hara AkAra, hara ceharA apane ko dhokhA detA calA jA rahA hai| apanA hI yaha zarIra, yaha ceharA apanA nahIM haiM, apane vaza meM nahIM hai| eka vibhrATa anityatva meM hI yaha sArA khela cala rahA hai| ___ yAda A rahe haiM, bezumAra paricita AtmIya cehare / jAne kitanI vyaktiyoM, vastuoM ke samAsa se bane mahala, makAna, muqAma, jinameM hama apanA ghara khojate haiM, jinameM lauTa kara virAma-vizrAma pAne kI bhrAMti meM hote haiN| para ve saba apane hI sAtha ghara para nahIM haiM, eka muqAma para nahIM haiN| ve pratikSaNa parivartamAn haiN| apanI kisI ekameva iyattA se ve svayam hI anajAna haiN| unameM ghara, surakSA yA AzvAsana kaise pAyA jA sakatA hai? jo ghara svayam hI apanA nahIM hai, apane meM nahIM hai, usameM apane liye ghara kaise pAyA jA sakatA hai ? yAda A rahA hai apanA vaha bAlaka, vaha kizora, jo khelate-khelate acAnaka aTaka jAtA thaa| khela se usakA mana ucaTa jAtA thaa| khela se chiTaka kara vaha bAhara khar3A ho jAtA thaa| khela meM Ananda lenA usake liye azakya ho jAtA thaa|" so usase pITha phera kara, udAsa muMha laTakAye, vaha dizAhIna rAha para bhAga khar3A hotA thaa| aura vaha mana hI mana kAMpa uThatA thA : '.."Aha, khela, jo eka dina acAnaka ruka jaayegaa| khela ke sAthI, jo abhI haiM, ve kabhI na kabhI bichur3a jAyeMge, aura phira kabhI na dikhAyI pdd'eNge| aura yAda AtA hai hiraNyavatI pAra kA vaha sallakI-vana, vaha khela kA prAMgaNa, jo aba sUnA, udAsa, nIrava par3A hogaa| khela jo abhI khelA hai, vaha phira nahIM lauttegaa| vahI lar3ake-lar3akiyAM nahIM lauTeMge, jo kala khela meM sAtha the|...' nandyAvarta meM nava-Ayojita sarasvatI-bhavana meM kabhI kucha sIkhane yA karane ko jI na cAhA / vAtAyana aura gelarI para khar3e ho kara, bAdaloM meM uThate navanavIna mahaloM kI jAduI bhItarimAoM meM apane svapna kA saundarya khojatA thA, apanA manacAhA ceharA aura saMgI TohatA thaa| aura dekhate-dekhate pAtA thA, ki navanavya mahaloM kI vaha saundarya-mAyA jAne / kahA~ tirohita ho gayI hai| "nIla zUnya ke athAha meM akelA chUTa gayA huuN| nandyAvarta kI vaha gailarI mAno vahA~ se kaTa kara, jAne kisI ajJAta taTa ke kohare meM vilupta ho gaI hai / koI ghara kahIM pIche nahIM chUTA hai, jahA~ lauTA jA sake / ____ "ThIka A~kha ke sAmane sirA jAte aneka mAtA-pitA dekhatA thaa| kitanI mAMoM kI mamatAlI USma godiyA~ jala-bubud kI taraha vilIna hotI dIkhatI thiiN| taba apanI hI mA~ kI ve kamanIya sundara bharI-bharI bA~heM, usakI vaha athAha goda, usameM gopita vaha surakSA aura zaraNa saba jaise barpha ke nirjana nicATa, sapATa

Page #326
316 maidAna ho rahate the, jahA~ digantoM taka kisI ke hone kA koI nizAna nahIM, koI ahasAsa nahIM / taba kitanA akelA udAsa ho kara apane usa sphaTika kakSa ke nairjanya meM ghaMToM - paharoM banda ho rahatA thA / prANa kA~da- kA~da uThate the / ro kara bhI jaise usa vedanA se mukti nhiiN| kyoM ki kauna, kisake liye roye, kyoM roye ? Akhira koI eka, avicala, akSuNNa kucha ho taba na ? viraha bhI kisakA, jaba kisI ke hone kA koI nizcaya nahIM, pratIti nahIM / ...phira bhI jIvana kA khela khelane ko vivaza to thA hI / mahaloM kI sukhazaiyA se uccATita ho kara vIrAnoM, parvatoM, jaMgaloM, nadiyoM ke pravAhoM para kyA khojatA phiratA thA ? zAyada yahI ki kyA vividha rUpa - AkAroM ke isa nAnA raMgI jagat meM koI aisI AkRti, aisA ceharA, aisA vyaktitva hai, jise antima rUpa se apanA kahA jA sake ? anomA-taTa ke zAlavana kI vaha bAlikA zAlinI, usa kSaNa kitanI satya lagI thI ? aura phira virAT vindhyAraNya meM, mAno zAzvata vindhyAcala meM se hI AvirbhUta ho gaI, vaha prakRta bAlA kAlI milI thI / parvata kI caTTAna ke bhItara se apanA sukaThina vakSAliMgana usane mujhe anubhava kraayaa| para kyA usakA vaha milana kisI nityatva kI anubhUti karA sakA ? .... usa dina acAnaka candanA kaisI vikala sAdha lekara mujha se milane navam khaNDa ke kakSa meM AI thii| use sammukha pA kara kaise zAzvat saundarya ke sAkSAtkAra kI anubhUti huI thii| lekina vaha candanA kyA svayam apanI bhI raha sakI, apane hI sAtha apane ghara Thahara sakI ? bhaTakatI hI calI gaI vaha, usa varddhamAna kI khoja meM, jo svayam hI apane Apa se nAtA tor3a, jAne kisa 'Atma' kI khoja meM abhiniSkramaNa kara gayA thA, jise vaha jAna kara bhI jAnatA nahIM thaa| jisa varddhamAna ko svayam hI aneka vinAzoM aura mautoM se jUjhate cale jAnA par3A, apane ko rakhane aura pAne ke liye / ... aura kahA~-kahA~ na bhaTakI vaha candanA ? kaise-kaise kaSTa usane jhele / kyA maiM usakA sAtha de sakA ? kyA vaha merA pIchA kara mujhe pakar3a sakI ? aura phira kauzAmbI kI usa havelI ke talaghara kI deharI para, ber3iyoM jakar3e pairoMvAlI usa bandinI candanA se sAkSAt huA thA / usakA vaha bAlA - saundaryaM jAne kahA~ kho cukA thA / usakA vaha AmrapAlI ke kezakalApa ko bhI lajjita kara denevAlA keza-vaibhava kahA~ calA gayA thA / muNDitA, dAsI, bandinI, vivaza, lAcAra, bhUkhIpyAsI usa atithi kI pratIkSA meM Akula, jo AyA bhI, to ber3iyA~ bhale hI , TUTI hoM, svarga se maNi - muktA bhale hI barase hoM, para vaha atithi kyA ruka sakA ? kyA vaha candanA ko aura bhI bar3e aura carama viraha kA AghAta dekara, usase pITha na phera gayA ? kyA usakI pukAra ko anuttarita chor3a, vaha apanI rAha para ekAkI palAyana na kara gayA ?

Page #327
317 kitanA na pyAra mere jIvana meM aayaa| mA~ aura pitA kI vaibhava aura USmA se lacakatI godiyA~ / zAlinI, kAlI, candanA, celanA, AmrapAlI, zreNika, "oha yAda AyA, abhinna lagatA mitra somezvara, aura vaha nirI videhinI AtmA lagatI sukomalA bAlA vainateyI / aura ve AryAvarta kI cunindA zreSTha sundariyA~, jinhoMne apane aMga-aMga se, mere aMga-aMga aura aNu-aNu ko dularAyA / jinake lAvaNya aura yauvana ne mujhe cAroM ora se DhA~pa kara, mere samUce astitva ko umar3a umar3a kara piyA aura kRtArtha kiyaa| kitane sundara mamatAvila mukhar3e, kitanI balAyeM letI bA~heM, ovArane lete A~cala, mujhe bA~dhane ko macalatI kitanI parasa- kAtara bhujAe~, uphanAtI godiyAM / pyAra aura saundarya ke kitane samudra mere cAroM ora umdd'e| para para kahA~ hai Aja vaha sArA vaibhava ? ve sAre pyAra, saundarya, komalatAe~ - mere hAthoM kI a~juliyoM meM se ArapAra baha jAtI laharoM kI taraha, kAla ke jAne kina ajJAta taToM meM jA kara vilIna ho gaye / .... kitane rUpa, AkAra, mukhar3e, yauvana se pradIpta cehare, kitane AtmIya paricita vyaktitva / kitane vaibhava, USmAbhare mahala, nagara, sAmrAjya, sattAe~ / mahAkAla ke samudra para bhavya taraMga-mAlAoM kI taraha uThe aura vilIna ho gaye / kala taka jo dikhAI detA thA, vaha Aja kahIM nahIM hai, phira kabhI na dIkhegA / aura hama zAyada use bhUla bhI jAyeMge / to kyA rUpa - nAma - vaividhya, AkAra-prakAra kA yaha jagata koI astitva nahIM rakhatA ? kyA ina badalatI rUpa-paryAyoM kA koI artha nahIM, abhiprAya nahIM, koI sArthakatA nahIM ? kintu jaba ye AvirmAna hote haiM, aneka sambandhoM meM ghaTita hote haiM, to inakI koI maulika sattA to honI hI cAhiye / inakA prakaTa honA hI apane Apa meM, inakA artha aura prayojana sUcita karatA hai / to nizcaya hI koI sat padArtha honA cAhiye / koI sandarbha, koI pariprekSya, koI srota honA cAhiye, jahA~ se ye Ate haiM, aura jisameM phira paryavasAna pA jAte haiM / koI aisA zAzvata, nitya Ayatana AdhAra honA cAhiye, jisameM ye uThate aura miTate haiM / kyA vaha mUla dravya, vaha padArtha, vaha sattA dhruva nahIM, jisameM se ye sArI paryAyeM sambhava hotI haiM ? ananta - sambhava dravya yadi sat hai, nitya hai, to ye paryAyeM bhI kyA apane sAre parivartanoM ke bAvajUda, apane ghaTita hone ke bhAva aura artha pravAha meM koI zAzvata abhiprAya nahIM rakhatIM ? pratIti ho rahI hai, ki sattA apane utpAda aura vyayAtmaka pariNamana meM anitya hote hue bhI, apane kisI dhruvatva meM nitya bhI hai| vaha nitya bhI hai, anitya bhI hai / nityAnitya ho kara ina donoM se pare, basa, vaha kevala hai / aura usa nitAnta hone meM - kyA vizalA, vainateyI, candanA, celanA, somezvara- hara sambhAvya vyakti aura sambandha, apanI bhAva-sattA meM, arthavattA meM nitya sArthaka nahIM hai ? nizcaya hI hai / para yadi anyathA kucha hai, to usakA bhI mujhe pratyakSa sAkSAtkAra nA hogaa|

Page #328
mana ke pAra jAnA hogA zrutijJAna aura avadhijJAna lekara janmA thaa| sAre zAstra mujha meM kamaladala kI taraha khulate rahate the| aura deza-kAla meM avadhi bAMdha kara, vahA~ ke hara lakSita vyakti, vastu, ghaTanA, sthiti, sambandha kA manacAhA jJAna pA letA yaa| mAno ki kisI tIsarI AMkha se bahuAyAmI vizva-ghaTanA ko abhISTa khaNDoM meM dekha letA thA / yaha alaga bAta hai, ki usakA upayoga karane kI koI icchA mujha meM nahIM thii| jaba anivArya hotA thA kucha jAnanA, to bhrUmadhya meM eka lI-sI ujala uThatI thI, aura usameM lakSita dRzya jhalaka uThatA thaa| varnA to jIvana ke hara vyavahAra meM, apanI ekAgra Almika UrjA ke sAtha hI pravRtta rahatA thaa| apane samvedana se hI hara kucha ke sAtha sampRkta honA cAhatA thaa| .."phira jaba jJAtRkhaNDa udyAna meM anAyAsa digambara ho gayA, to merI mahAvratI pratijJA kI asi-noka para sahasA hI merI cetanA manaHparyayajJAna se bhAsvara ho utthii| "manuSya loka meM vidyamAna tamAma paryApta aura vyakta manavAle paMcendriya prANiyoM ke manogata bhAva merI antazcetanA meM pratyakSa ho utthe| maiM mana-manAntaroM kA pravAsI ho gayA / phira kaTapUtanA ke himapAta-upasarga ke samApana meM mujhe ekAeka lokAvadhi zAna upalabdha huA / "mAno kisI kalpavAsI deva ke svargika vimAna kI karNikA para khar3A hUM, aura loka meM jahA~ taka cAhUM dekha sakatA huuN|" itanI bar3I zAna-sampadA kA svAmI maiM, bhale hI sAre tanoM aura manoM ko parta-parta meM dekha sakatA hU~, para unake sAtha tadrUpa nahIM ho sakatA / unakI AlmA meM AtmA ur3ela kara bhI pAyA hai, ki merI AlmA usa AlmA kA uttara banane meM viphala rahI hai| bAra-bAra lagA hai, ki merI gaharAI ne mere priyapAtra kI gaharAI meM avagAhana kiyA hai| lekina dekhatA hU~, ki gaharAI apanI jagaha hai, aura hama donoM usake virodhI kinAroM para chiTake, bichur3e khar3e raha gaye haiM / jaba taka yaha bichur3ana hai, taba taka isa jJAna kA kyA upayoga ? nahIM, yaha kAfI nahIM hai| mujhe Age jAnA hogaa| aura maiM apane bhItara kI ora, jaise tejI se abhiyAna kara gyaa| bAhara jahA~ cAhU~, tatkAla pahoMca jAne ke liye| hara sthiti kA sAkSI hone ke liye|

Page #329
...aura dekhatA hU~ ki eka jIrNa havelI ke, kisI ekAnta kakSa meM upasthita huuN| sAre kamare meM eka dhvaMsa kI mauna chAyA phailI hai| mInA-khacita dIvAroM para dhUla jamI hai, ve tar3aka gaI haiN| chata kI madhyavartI vizAla jhUmara dIpakahIna aura mlAna TaeNgI hai| eka marmara ke bhagna dIpAdhAra para sAdhAraNa taila-dIpa jala rahA hai| usakI maddhima rozanI meM dikhAI par3A : kone ke TUTe palaMga para eka tanvaMgI rogiNI leTI hai| kSayI cAMda kI antima kalA kI taraha pANDura / usake sirahAne usakA pati sira jhukAye cupa baiThA hai| usakI A~kheM ekaTaka rogiNI kI A~khoM meM lagI haiN| ekAeka vihvala ho kara usane apanA mAthA rogiNI kI chAtI para DhAla denA caahaa| 'nahIM"nahIM svAmI, nahIM !' 'utpalA, aura maiM kahA~ jAU~ ?' 'vaha aba kahA~ ? maiM aba kahA~ ?...' 'yahIM ho na, merI bA~hoM meM ?' ' 'nahIM, unase bAhara huuN| sAre jagata se bAhara huuN| ekadama akelI hU~ !' 'cupa-cupa, cupa karo utpalA, mujhe zaraNa do isa chAtI meN|...' 'jo chAtI hI kSaNa bhara bAda rahane vAlI nahIM hai, usameM zaraNa khoja rahe raho, sAgara?' rogiNI kI AvAz2a A~suoM meM DUba gii| 'vaha chAtI nahIM rahegI, jisake liye maiMne sAre jagata se muMha mor3a liyA? ""yAda karo utpalA, vaha pahalA din| ujjayinI meM usa dina apane dvAra-paura meM tuma caukhaTa para sara DhAle khdd'ii-thiiN| taba tumhAre A~cala aura kaMcukI se jhAMkatI jo vakSa-kora dekhI thI, kyA vaha nahIM rahegI? aisA ho nahIM sktaa| usa kora tale jo ubhAra aura gaharAva chupA dekhA thA, usameM sara DhAlane ko maiM usa kSaNa pAgala ho gayA thaa| lagA thA, isa chAtI ko prApta kiye binA jiyA nahIM jA sktaa|" 'vyavasAya ke liye ujjayinI AyA thA, vaha bhUla gyaa| mAM-bApa kI sudhabudha kho gii| pAsa kA sahasroM suvarNa dravya ujjayinI kI galiyoM meM baha gyaa| barasa para barasa bItate cale, para tumhArI citavana merI ora na utthii| maiM tumhArA hRdaya na jIta paayaa| "lekina jaba pahalI hI bAra tumhArI nigAha merI ora uThI, to lauTa na skii| tuma mAno usI dina apane pitA ke vaibhava-mahala kI sIr3hiyA~ utara giiN| "nipaTa eka-vastrA karake tumhAre pitA ne tumheM nikAla bAhara kiyaa| aura tuma mere pIche calI aaii| hamane gAndharva vivAha kiyaa| aura pahalI rAta jaba tumhArI usa vakSa-kora para sara DhAlA to lagA-ki hAya, parama zaraNAdhAma hai yaha chAtI / merA eka mAtra abhISTa mokss| "usa mokSa meM hI to isa kSaNa taka jItA rahA hU~, utpalA!

Page #330
'lekina jaba muddatoM bAda tumheM lekara campA loTA, to mAtA-pitA mara cuke the / havelI dhvasta parityakta par3I thI / nagara-janoM ne mujhe pahacAnane taka se inakAra kara diyaa| khaira, Aqhira kisI taraha hamane havelI meM praveza pAyA / dhUla - jAloM se DhakA merA paitRka aizvarya dhvaMsa ke Dhera-sA par3A thaa| isI vinAza ke bIca hamane apane pyAra kA palaMga bichAyA / tumhArI isa vakSa-kora se kSaNabhara bhI dUra rahanA mujhe sadA asahya rahA / vaha vakSa nahIM rahegA ? ho nahIM sakatA, utpalA !' 320 ... 'ho gayA devatA ! sAmane AnA bAqI hai| usa vakSa ko rAjayakSamA ho gayA, sAgarasena ! usameM chidra par3a gaye / usameM jantu laga gaye / vaha jantuoM kA khAdya ho gayA / aura aba haDDiyoM kI rAkha ... 'oha utpalA, merI zaraNa, merI mokSa ! aisA na kaho / sahana nahIM hotA / ' 'saca hI to kaha rahI hU~ / kisI bhI kSaNa aba yaha zarIra chUTa sakatA hai, sAgara ! yaha merA hI zaraNa nahIM, mokSa nahIM, to tumhArA kaise ho sakatA hai ? 'nahIM mujhase nahIM sahA jAtA / haTA lo sara / tumhAre sara ko jhUTha meM paDA nahIM dekha sakatI ! ' 'nahIM, yaha mere liye jhUTha nhiiN| lAo, lAo, lAo merI chAtI mujhe do, pallI !' sAgarasena udbhrAnta vihvala ho kara usa asthizeSa vakSa meM Alor3ita hone lagA / utpalA ko utkaTa khA~sI kA daurA par3A / usane Dhera sArA khUna ugala diyA / vaha mRtavat Dhalaka pdd'ii| kucha kSaNoM bAda bahuta kSINa ka~Tha se vaha bolI : 'dekho, yaha hai tumhArA pyArA vakSa / yaha durgandhita sar3e rakta kA Dhera ! ' aura usakI muMdI A~khoM se A~sU cUte Aye / 'pallI, tuma isase adhika ho mere liye / isase atirikta bahuta kucha ho / .... 'chAtI khAlI ho gaI, sAgara ! khokhala ! Aha, sA~sa sAMsa..' aura utpalA para bhayaMkara zvAsa kA AkramaNa / antima sA~seM / ...' 'arihanta . arihanta haMsaH haMsaH ! sAgara, apane meM sukhI rahanA / ... za za zaraNa mo mo mokSa kevala vahIM hai / maiM calI, sAgara ! sahasA hI dIpa nirmANa ho gayA / aura usa a~dhere meM haMsa palAyana | " kara gayA / Jain Educationa International cIqha kara sAgarasena zava ke vakSa se lipaTa gayA, aura usa para sara ragar3aragar3a kara rone lagA / ... For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #331
321 'maiM bhI AyA pallI, isI chAtI para sara DhAle tumhArI citA meM tumhAre sAtha jalUMgA / ..." .... aura haThAt usa a~dhiyAre kone meM se sunAI par3A : 'kisake sAtha jaloge citA para ? utpalA vahA~ nahIM hogI / lAza kI chAtI para jaloge ? lAza, jisakI niyati sirfa qhAqa ho jAnA hai / bujjhaha, bujjhaha, sAgarasena ! ' 'mujhe merI utpalA cAhiye ! ' 'usa rUpa meM aba vaha nahIM mila sakatI / ' 'tuma kauna ho ?' 'tumhArI AtmA ! mahAvIra !' 'bhagavan, Apa yahA~ ? kauna * kaise ... ?' 'pratyakSa ko pramANa kyA ! 'bhante, kyA utpalA kI AtmA meM maiM jA nahIM sakatA ? ' 'mahAvIra svayam apane se yaha prazna pUcha rahA hai ! ' 'bhagavan, trilokInAtha, Apa kahIM kaise aTaka sakate haiM ?" 'aTakA hU~, tumhArI AtmA ke dvAra para / aura kitanA cAhatA hU~, ki maiM tumhArA samvedana bana jAU~, tumhArI AtmA bana jAU~, utpalA kI AtmA bana jAU~ / aura tuma donoM mere bhItara do jotoM kI taraha AliMgita ho jAo / lekina.... 'bhagavan, Apa aura lekina ?' 'dekha rahA hU~, jAnane-samajhane se Age tumhAre bhItara merI gati nahIM hai, sAgara ! eka pUrNa sahAnubhUti hai / samavedana hai / lekina antarvedana nahIM / tumhAre bhItara vedana nahIM kara sakatA / tumhAre sAtha tumhAre bhItara maiM sahana nahIM kara sktaa| hama saba alaga-alaga / akele / asaMkhya dvIpa AtmAoM ke / bIca meM hai kevala jJAna kA jala / ajJAna ke a~dhere se Dha~kA huA / jJAna kI ina laharoM meM hama eka-dUsare ko ArapAra dekha sakate haiM / para eka-dUsare meM ArapAra tadAkAra nahIM ho sakate / 'koI kisI kA zaraNa, AdhAra nahIM ho sakatA yahA~, zaraNa hI ekamAtra niyati hai, satya hai / ' 'lekina...' 'mahAvIra, aura phira lekina ?' sAgara ! svayam

Page #332
'maiM Age jAnA cAhatA hU~, sAgara! jJAna se Age hai, mahAbhAva saMvedana, Atma-vedana / aisI sahAnubhUti, jo paraspara eka-dUsare kI AtmAnubhUti ho jAye / ' 'dhanya, dhanya, bhagavAn !' 322 'maiM jJAnAtIta ekatva kI mahAbhAva sattA meM jAnA cAhatA hU~ / bhinna hI nahIM hai, abhinna bhI hai / dvaita hI nahIM, advaita bhI hai / ... ' 'zAzvata varddhamAna haiM Apa, bhagavan, zAzvata vidyamAna / Apa kisI pichalI maryAdA para nahIM ruke / zAzvata pragatizIla / nirantara navya- nUtana / ' 'utpalA kahIM gaI nahIM hai, sAgara! Ao mere sAtha, usa taTa para le calUMgA, jahA~ utpalA tumheM usI prathama darzana ke rUpa meM milegI ! ...' 'bhante, bhante, bhante maiM anugAmI huA / ' 'nahIM, akele vicaro / tumheM apane hI rAste AnA hogA / usa taTa para mileMge / ' ... . aura lauTate hue apane pIche maiMne sAgarasena ko atyanta zaraNahArA dekhA / azaraNa, ekAkI, smazAna kI akelI citA / sAgarasena / 'hA~, isI citA kI rAha Age bar3hanA hogA, sAgara! haDDiyoM ke jaMgala se guz2aranA hogA / rakta dhamaniyoM ke andhakAra bhedane hoNge| usa kinAre para pahu~cane ke liye / ' .... aura maiMne dekhA, sAgarasena utpalA kI citA para car3ha kara, mere pIche calA A rahA hai / aura bhI dekhanA cAhatA huuN| merI jJAnorjA meM eka aisA hillolana huA, ki jaise dehapAta ho gayA ho| aura mAno eka aura hI deha meM uttIrNa ho, mahAnagarI kAzI ke rAjamArga ko pAra rahA hU~ / eka ora eka vizAla aTTAlikA ke paura- prAMgaNa meM dIpoM se jagamagAtA bhavya raMgamaMca zobhita hai / vAjitroM ke ghoSa se sArA nagara dhamadhamA rahA hai / vastra - alaMkAroM meM sajI aneka ramaNiyA~ gIta gA rahI haiM / kahIM surApAna kI goSThiyoM meM vArAMganAe~ nAca rahI haiM / zreSThI madanadatta ke putra kA vivAhotsava ho rahA hai / ... Jain Educationa International ... mArga ke dUsarI ora eka choTe se makAna ke Age, kaI striyAM gola bA~dhakara baiThI haiM, aura vilApa karatI huI chAtiyA~ pITa rahI haiM / kucha loga arthI bA~dha rahe haiN| mATI ke bAsana meM eka ora palItA jala rahA hai / eka dIna-daridra vRddha dampati kA eka mAtra putra nau mahIne kI byAhI achUtI sohAgana ko chor3a svarga sidhAra gayA hai| aura vAjitroM ke ghoSa, tathA nRtya-saMgIta ke kalanAda meM ye chAtI-phAr3a rudana DUba gaye haiM / '' For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #333
." aura nagara dvAra pAra kara, eka sunasAna ujar3e udyAna meM A pahuMcA huuN| manamAre khar3e eka aMdhiyAre bhagna-bhavana meM calA AyA hai| yahA~ manuSya ke hone kA koI cihna nhiiN| Upara timaMz2ile ke eka arddha-bhagna jarjara kakSa meM upasthita huuN| Ale meM eka mATI kI DhibarI jala rahI hai| usake bahuta kSINa Aloka meM dIkhA : eka jholI-sI lagatI khaTiyA meM jaise eka sar3e mAMsa kA Dhera par3A hai| lekina usake tala meM avaza par3A eka mAnava-mana gahare socavicAroM meM cakkara kATa rahA hai : 'o... o... merI prANa hutA, tuma tuma kahA~ calI gaIM ?..Aha, yAda A rahI hai sudUra atIta kI vaha baat| isI sAmane kI gaMgA ke eka dUrAntika taTa meM, apanI kuTiyA meM tuma akelI rahatI thiiN| maiM kAzI kA rAjaputra varuNa, usa taTa para magara kA AkheTa karane AyA karatA thaa| tuma anAtha ekAkinI RSi-kanyA thiiN| "sunA thA, apane svapna ke satyavAna ko pAne ke liye tuma kaThora sAvitrI-tapa kara rahI thiiN| isI gaMgA kI jaladhArA-sA pAradarza, pavitra thA tumhArA saundarya / bhayAnaka magara-maccha taka tumhAre tapa se, tumhAre vazIbhUta ho gaye the / ___'aura maiM kAzI kA rAjaputra varuNa kisI sAvitrI kA sapanA dekha rahA thaa| tumhAre rUpa meM apanA vaha svapna maiMne sAkAra dekhaa| maiMne mahala, rAjazyarva, siMhAsana ThukarA diyA, aura tumheM prApta karake hI caina liyaa| .. . 'nirvAsita rAjaputra ko isa ujar3e udyAna ke bhUtihA bhavana meM naz2ara-kaida kara diyA gyaa| lekina tumhAre sAtha, hutaa| "tumheM jaba AliMgana meM bA~dhatA thA to lagatA thA, ki roga, kSaya, jarA, mRtyu ko maiMne jIta liyA hai| maiM mRtyuMjaya ho gayA hU~, tumhArI goda meM ! ... _ 'lekina tumhAre hote, yaha kyA huA hutA; maiM isa mahAduSTa galita kuSTha kA grAsa bana gyaa| rakta-pIva kA bahattA pnaalaa| merI A~khoM ke ratana bhI dhIre-dhIre dhuMdhalA gye| eka bhRtya merI sevA meM nirata rahane lgaa| ...aura tuma ? sunA, tuma phira sAvitrI-tapa meM lIna ho ekAgra, mujhe punarjIvita karane ke liye / " ____ 'Aha, tuma jaba apanI gorI ujalI bA~ha se mujhe kar3avI auSadha pilAtI ho, to lagatA hai, amRta pilA rahI ho| para aba to kevala tumhArI vaha mohilI, mahIna AvAz2a bhara suna pAtA huuN| tumhArI vaha kamanIya bA~ha kahA~ gaI...? Aha, asahya hai ina avirAma jharate z2akhmoM kI piidd'aa| "hutA'tuma kahA~ calI gayIM ?' 'dekho na maiM A gii| bhiSaga kA bhRtya auSadhi lekara AyA thA, vahI taiyAra kara lAyI huuN|' .

Page #334
usa sar3e mAMsa ke Dhera meM se sUkhe DaNThala-sA eka hAtha uThA / 'Aha, Aha, merI sAvitrI, pilAo amRta ...' aura varuNa ne vaha USma sugandhita A~cala pakar3a lenA cAhA / hutA dUra chiTaka gii| aura usane kSaNa mAtra meM auSadhi kA cammaca rogI ke AkArahIna cehare meM khule eka gaDDhe meM u~Dela diyA / 'oha, kaisI sugandha hai tumhAre A~cala meM, hutA ! 1 jalajUhI kI latAsI zItala / mere pAsa Ao hutA, mujhe DhA~pa lo na apanI chAtI meM, jahA~ mRtyu nahIM hai, sadA amRta jharatA hai / aura mujhe china china yaha kAla kA nAga Dasa rahA hai|''tumne A~cala kyoM chur3A liyA mere hAtha se, hutA ? tuma tuma... ...merI sAvitrI ! tuma itanI nirmama kaise ho gaI ? .... eka ghuTana bhare sannATe meM ukhar3atI sA~soM kI khar3akhar3AhaTa / 'aisA na bolo svAmI, maiM aba samagra tuma rUpa ho jAnA cAhatI hU~ / tuma se alaga aba kSaNa bhara caina nahIM / aba kevala A~cala dekara jI nahIM bharatA / apanI isa pUrI kAyA meM tumhAre haMsa ko khIMca lenA cAhatI hU~ / ' 324 'Aha hutA, tuma tuma merI ho na, kevala merI, trikAla meM, janmAntaroM meM ekamAtra merI kabhI aura kisI kI nahIM ?' 'hA~, mere devatA, mere satyavAna, kevala tumhArI, sirpha tumhArI / aura kisI kI nahIM / AdikAla se anantakAla taka tumhArI ! ' 'merI AtmA tuma, hutA ! ' zt***aert***-art***3rt***** .... 'to Aja khIMca lo mujhe samUcA apane meM, aba bAhara nahIM rahA jAtA / hutA kahA~ ho tuma / pAsa Ao na merI sA~soM meM Ao..! ' 'isa deha se kitanI-kitanI pAsa AI tumhAre / para kyA tumhAre bhItara A sakI ? kyA tuma mere bhItara A sake ? so isa deha kA mamatva na karo / maiM akhaNDa brahmacarya kA vrata dhAraNa kara tumhArI deha meM amRta sIMca dene kI sAdhanA kara rahI hU~ ! Jain Educationa International 'Aha merI satI, merI sAvitrI / are dekho na, merI dhuMdhalI putaliyoM meM yaha kaisI jota ujala gayI hai / tuma solahoM siMgAra kiye Aja kitanI sundara laga rahI ho ! sAkSAt devI, bhagavatI / aisA zRMgAra to tumane kabhI kiyA nahIM / apUrva hai tumhArA yaha sohAgana rUpa / pahalI bAra dekhA / ye itane mahaddhika vastra - ratnAlaMkAra kahA~ se A gaye ? ' For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #335
325 'svayam sAvitrI ne Aja siMgAra kiyA hai tumhArI satI kA, mere varuNa, mere satyavAna !' 'Aha merI hutA, merI veda-putrI gaaytrii| divo-duhitA uSA.' sIr3hI meM koI satarka dabI pagacApa sunAI par3I / hutA caukannI huii| aura agale hI kSaNa vaha cupacApa kakSa se bAhara ho gyii| "bAhara a~dhere lambe galiyAre meM sunAI par3A eka phusaphusAtA-sA vArtAlApa : 'kAzI ke koTTapAla mere jIvanadhana !' 'isa ratna-sajjA meM ekadama devAMganA laga rahI ho, merI pyAra / ' 'tumhAre hI diye to ye ratnAlaMkAra, ye cInAMzuka, ye phUlala...!' aura surA ke naze meM pramatta koTTapAla ne galiyAre kI usa andhI dIvAra meM hutA ko kasa kara bhIMca diyaa| anavarata vyAkula cumbanoM aura AliMganoM kI dabI-dabI dhvaniyA~! .."Ahe. sisakAriyA~ / 'Aha'basa basa' 'kaba taka basa..?' 'nahIM chor3a do, Aja nahIM...' 'mere dhIraja kI hada huii|"oh, Aja nahIM to phira kaba ? kala kisane dekhA hai...?' andhe galiyAre meM madanAkula dehoM kA ghamAsAna / 'Aha, hutA, tuma kahA~ calI gaI ?.."dekho to, galiyAre meM yaha kaisI rahasyabharI dhamadhamAhaTa hai. ? koI pretalIlA to nahIM ? hutA, tuma kahA~ calI gaI...? mujhe akelA na chor3o, bahuta bhaya laga rahA hai !' ...sA~soM kI dhamanI se prajjvalita, lAla-lAla lapaTa-sI hutA lauttii| vastrAlaMkAroM kI sugandhita sarsarAhaTa suna varuNa cIkha uThA : ___'oha, merI hutA, merI AtmA, merI prANa, merI zarIra ho na tuma ? kevala merI !' 'hU~ na, kevala tumhArI / ..' 'kaho ki tumhArI AtmA, tumhArI prANa, tumhArA zarIra hU~..! kaho na !'

Page #336
326 'jo tuma kahate ho, saba hU~ tumhArI / usase bhI adhika kucha ho to, vaha bhI / tuma so jAo, svAmI / zAnta ho jAo ! ' 'aura tuma... ?' 'tumhAre pAsa baiThI hU~ na !' 'Aja mujhe apane AliMgana meM lo, hutA / galiyAre meM mRtyu kI padacApa spaSTa sunI hai abhI / apanI chAtI meM mujhe DubA lo, aura isa mRtyu se mujhe bacA lo, merI sAvitrI !' 'brahmacarya ke binA vaha sambhava nahIM / mere brahmacarya ko akSuNNa rahane do Aja kI rAta / aura kala kala tuma ekadama caMge ho jAoge ! ' saca saca saca sacamuca ? oha, saca hI tuma mAnavI nahIM, devI ho, hutA / merI sAvitrI !" 'tumheM nIMda A rahI hai na ?' ' tumhAre hAtha kI usa auSadha se yaha kaisA madhura nazA A rahA hai / saca hI amRta-surA pilA dI tumne| jaise zarIra meM koI roga hI nahIM rahA / phUla-sA taira rahA hU~, tumhAre A~cala kI sugandha meM / Aha, kaisA sukha hai ! ... ' kahate-kahate sarpagandhA ke gahare naze meM varuNa kI cetanA DUbatI hI calI gaI / aura usa dUrI meM se hI usane pukArA : 'hutA hutAtuma kahA~ jA rahI ho pITha phera kara ?' 'gaMgA-taTa para khar3I hokara Aja akhaNDa rAta sAvitrI-tapa kA samApana karU~gI / sukha se so jaao| maiM tumhAre bhItara hI to hU~ !' ''aura majha rAta ke stabdha chalAMge bharate ratha meM baiThI hutA, gaI / ... sannATe meM, kAzI ke koTTapAla ke havA meM kAzI aura gaMgA kI sImA ke pAra ho aura varuNa saMjIvanI - surA pI kara aisA soyA, ki usakI agalI sA~sa eka aura garbha ke a~dhere meM ghuTane lagI / nayA jIvana AraMbha karane ko chaTapaTAne lagI / .... saMsAra ko usakI asalI prakRti meM nagna dekhA maiMne / yahA~ koI kisI kA nahIM / hama saba eka dUsare ko anya haiM, parAye haiM / hama dUsare ko pyAra nahIM karate, dUsare meM bhI kevala apane hI ko pyAra karate haiM / hama kevala apane meM rahane ko abhizapta haiN| kevala apane ko pyAra karanA hI hamArI

Page #337
ekameva niyati hai| hamArI yaha kAyA, yaha sAMsa bhI hamArI nahIM / saba anya hai, para vyakti hai, para AtmA hai, para padArtha hai| ananya kevala maiM hU~ apane liye / aura jo bhI apanatva hai, mamatva hai, jo yaha dUsare ko apanAne kI yA dUsare ke apanA ho jAne kI acUka prANAkulatA hai, vaha mAtra AtmAbhAsa hai, Atmachala hai| anya meM kevala apane hI ko dekhane, khojane, pAne kA bahAnA hai| eka niSphala mAyAvI prayAsa hai| hAya se saMsAra ! ... lekina kyA sAvitrI satyavAna se tadAkAra nahIM huI thI? kyA vaha yama se apane vallabha ke prANa nahIM jIta lAI thI? kyA usane apane ananya pyAra se mRtyu ko nahIM jIta liyA thA? kAla ko nahIM pachAr3a diyA thA? kyA vaha eka vizuddha Atma kI, dUsare vizuddha Atma meM apane ananyatva aura abhinnatva kI upalabdhi nahIM thI? kyA sAvitrI satyavAna nahIM ho gaI thI, kyA satyavAna sAvitrI nahIM ho gayA thA ? isakA uttara pAne ko zAyada kevala samyak darzana aura samyak jJAna kAphI nahIM hai| avadhijJAna aura manaHparyaya-jJAna dvArA kevala deza, kAla aura manoM ke sImAntoM taka yAtrA karanA kAphI nahIM hai| usase Age jAnA hogaa| dUsare kI AtmA se sIdhe TakarAnA hogaa| aura usake liye zAyada, deha, prANa, mana, indriyoM ke sAre dvAra eka bAra bAhara se nitAnta mudrita kara lene hoNge| isa rAha jo bhI sampreSaNa hai, saMvAda hai, darzana-jJAna hai, vaha adhUrA hai| usI se saMsAra aura manuSya kI sthiti kA antima nirNaya kaise kara luuN| ekameva, pratyakSa, avikalpa koI jJAna, koI samvedana kahIM hai ?.."to usa taka pahuMcanA hogaa| aisA koI jJAna, jo sva-para ke bheda-vijJAna se pare, basa eka abheda akhaNDa bodha ho, saMyukta saMvedana ho / jahA~ jJAtA aura jJeya kA bheda taka samApta ho jaaye| usake binA jJeya ke satva ko Atmavat kaise anubhava kara sakatA huuN| aura Atmavat jo anubhava na ho, jo AtmAnubhUti na ho jAye, aisA para kA jJAna bhI satya, avikalpa, nirdhAnta kaise ho sakatA hai| . "apanI gahiratama gaharAI meM paryavasAna pA jAnA hogA! 00

Page #338
antardeza ko antarikSa-yAtrA pRthivI ke bhItara jaise-jaise gahare utarAtA gayA hU~, to pAyA hai ki parta ke bhItara parta hai| aura hara parta meM se sahasroM nayI parte khulatI dikhAyI par3atI haiN| aura hara parta meM aura bhI jAne kitanI antarimAe~, antarAla, aura unameM se uga AtI-sI bezumAra partoM kI rAziyA~ / inake bhItara yAtrA saMsaraNa dvArA hI sambhava ho rahI hai| janma aura maraNa, Agamana aura gamana, udaya aura avasAna kI eka antahIna paramparA meM se guz2aranA ho rahA hai| utpAda, vyaya aura dhruva kI saMyuti ko samaya ke avibhAjya muhUrta meM ekabAragI hI jItA calA jA rahA huuN| isa tamisrA meM jAne kitanI A~kheM bana kara cAroM ora khula gayA huuN| para eka aise rezamIna sarpila nIhAra kA koharA, uThate-miTate parvatoM-sA yahA~ laharAtA calA A rahA hai, jAne kisa ajJAta meM se, ki usameM ye A~kheM budabudoM-sI camaka-camaka kara visarjita ho jAtI haiN| saba kucha dekha kara bhI, ye dekha nahIM pAtI haiM, saba kucha jAna kara bhI ye ThagI-sI raha jAtI haiM, aura kho jAtI haiN| asaMkhya A~kheM bhI isa bhItarimA ko bheda pAne meM viphala ho, jAne kisI tatva meM vizIrNa ho jAtI haiN| akSa se nahIM, ekAgra avicala Atma ke sIdhe samvedana se hI isa antarimA ke jagata kA avabodhana sambhava hai / eka cakSuhIna, lakSyahIna avagAhana kI anubhUti bhara raha gayA huuN| eka abhedya tamisrA kA kSitijahIna maNDala cakrAkAra mere cAroM ora ghUma rahA hai| aura vaha alokAkAza ke sattAhIna zUnya meM prasArita hotA calA jA rahA hai| eka anirvaca sUkSma raja ke AzravaNa ko apane Upara AkramaNa karate dekha rahA huuN| rAzikRta paTaloM meM yaha raja kA pravAha kisI mahArNava kI taraha mere bhItara-bAhara taraMgita hai| kahanA kaThina hai ki nirI mATI hai, yA nirA jala hai| kyoMki isameM zuSka mATI kA bikharAva aura sarasarAhaTa bhI hai, aura jala-laharoM kI-sI mRdutA aura nirantaratA bhI hai| isameM mATI kA loca aura namyatA bhI hai, pAnI kI ajasra pravAhitA bhI hai, vAyu kI meghavarNI zItalatA bhI hai, aura isakI sandhiyoM meM sindUrI jvAlAoM kA dAhaka tApa bhI hai|

Page #339
329 .."eka avirala mohinI kA ghanasAra kRSNa-nIla sNsaar| kabhI nIrandhra andhakAra kA athAha gaharAva / kabhI usameM AzIviSa sarpa kI A~khoM se praspharita, acUka nIla sammohana. aura prakarSaNa ke hillolana / eka aisA bhaMgura dolAyita mArdava, jo cetanA ko vipala mAtra meM apane bhItara AtmasAt karake, apanI antartama jagatI meM khIMca le jAtA hai| yahAM ati suramya gaharI hariyAlI araNyAniyoM kA apAra prasAra hai| usameM sugandha-nivir3a bhInI mATI kI adbhuta USmA aura zIlatA hai| asaMkhya juganuoM kI TimaTimAtI AMkhoM se isake antarAla vyApta haiN| kevar3e kI kaTIlI sugandhAvilatA meM, jAne kitane hI vivara khule haiN| unake bhItara, rAzikRta sarpa eka bhayAvaha saMkulatA aura graMthilatA ke sAtha eka-dUsare meM gutthamagutthA ho rahe haiN| ve aisI agnima maNiyA~ ugalate haiM, jo pala mAtra meM virAT agni-paTala ho kara svayam unheM hI bhasma kara detI haiN| ve aura bhI tIvratA se apanI rAkhe meM anubandhita ho kara, nita-navya AkAroM meM, zAkhAjAla kI taraha. prasphoTita hote cale jAte haiN| mATI, jala aura vanaspati kI ina sarpila tarala zaiyAoM meM liMgoM aura yoniyoM kA eka tumula saMghAta satata pariNamanazIla hai| usa gharSaNa meM se caitra ke kacce AmoM-sI khaTa-mIThI sparza-gandha aura rakta-gandha visphUjita hotI rahatI hai|"oh, sparza ke saMkarSaNa aura rakta ke kAmAkula saMgharSa-hillola meM se uThane vAlI yaha moha-gandha kitanI kuMvArI aura nita-navyamAna hai| svarga ke saghana mandAra-vanoM kI USmAkula shiitltaa| pAvasa kI rAta meM umasatI, rAta-rAnI ke phUloM kI prANahArI gandhAkulatA / rakta aura parasa ke isI moha-madanAvila nirantara saMghAta meM se anavarata pravAhita hai saMsAra-paramparA, janma aura mRtyu kA eka antahIna silsilaa|"oh, to yahI hai mohinI karma kA vaha Azrava-loka, jo hamAre darzana aura jJAna ko kRSNa, nIla, kApota bAdaloM ke sadA badalate paryoM se Avarita kiye rakhatA hai| jahA~ dekhanA aura jAnanA mAtra juganuI A~khoM kI bhUlabhulaiyA hai| jahAM dekha kara bhI hama kucha nahIM dekhate, jAna kara bhI hama kucha nahIM jAnate / dRgbodha nayanaH so'ayamajJAna timirAhataH / jAnAnnapi na jAnAti, pazyannapi na pazyati / / ..aura sarpajAla-graMthila vaha zaiyA, uttarottara phailatI huI, dRkabodha se pAra asIma ho uThI hai| use dekhate-dekhate cetanA bhaya se macchita hotI jA rahI hai| chinna-bhinna hotI AMkhoM ke tar3akate billaura kA eka sailaab| pahacAna aura lagAva kI raMga-biraMgI kAMca-khir3akiyoM kA acAnaka tar3atar3A kara TUTa jaanaa| praNaya ke nivir3atama AliMgana meM ajanaviyata kA eka aphATa registAna / sambandhoM ke indradhanuSI AvaraNoM meM DhaMkI parAyepana kI khndkeN| mitratA,

Page #340
. 330 zatrutA ke kagAra para jhUlatI huI / bhAva-vihvalatA kI laharoM meM se uTha AtI churiyAM |... ""kSaya, jarA, roga, mRtyu ke biloM para basA huA manuSya kA sukha - dukhoM se Ardra, USma ghara / prANi mAtra kI rakta vAhiniyoM meM sukha-surakSA kI dhukadhukI / mudrita kamala kI surabhita kesara - zaiyyA ko koratA huA moha aura vedanIya kA kITa / sukha kI markata- piTArI meM chupA duHkha kA kAlA sarpa / nAgakesara kI gandha-sI yaha kasailI vedanA / mohinI nAga kanyA, jisake mohaka vakSa meM ugA hai sukha kA pIlA kamalavana, aura jisake sarpa-pucchila pairoM meM se phUTa rahA hai duHkha kA bhISaNa ajagara / kSayaroga kI zaiyA para, bujhatI huI A~khoM kI maNiyA~, hAr3a-piMjara zarIra, aura usameM raha-raha kara TimaTimA uThatI tRSNA kI lAlaTena, moha ke abUjha andhakAra meM / .... '' tUfAnI samudra para dUrAtidUra kahIM machaliyA~ pakar3ate mAchImAra kI nAva / usake mastUla para ekAkI TimaTimAtA dIyA : bujhane kI anI para prajvalita usakI antima nIlI lau / taTa para khar3I machihArina kI bhayAkula caTTAnI chAtI para sara pachAr3atA, andha samudra / sahasroM maratI machaliyoM kI mUka cIkhoM para sira dhunatA, DUbatI nAva kA bujhatA dIyA / machihArina ke jUr3e se bikhara par3e campaka phUla / " kevala ghaharAtA kAlA sAgara / aura kahIM kucha nahIM / jhoMpar3e meM pakate zAkAnnoM kI sauMdhI gandha / madirA se vAsita madana - zaiyA / ... saba kahA~ lupta ho gayA ? ghane ghuMgharAle vipula kezoM kI lahareM / una para lipaTe sA~poM ke pAza meM avaza mRtyu kA atalAnta | oha, yaha vedanIya karma kA Azrava-loka hai, jahA~ prANI nirantara moha-mUrcchA ke gahana gavharoM meM, sukha-dukha kI karavaTeM letA chaTapaTA rahA hai / jahA~ eka hI prANI kI dAyIM karavaTa sukha hai, to bAyIM karavaTa duHkha / jahA~ pyArI kI suramya sA~jhiyA chAtI para, mauta mohaka kaMcukI bana kara kasI hai / .... mohAraNya ke tamasAvRtta taladeza meM, aMgar3AiyA~ bhara kara uThatA-sA sAndra nIla andhakAra / usameM adRzya paramANuoM meM se utsita hote rakta kA abhisiMcana / usameM parasa - lAlasA kA kampana, saMsaraNa / usameM kisI naipathya meM ghUmate carakhe se khiMcA A rahA mATI kA sUta / AkAza ke karce para bunI jA rahI usakI bArIka jAliyA~ / unameM se uTha rahIM mATI kI gaDDa-maDDa nalikAoM ke vizAla prAntara / unameM se sarasarAte nikala rahe bezumAra kecuoM ke nire sparzAkula zarIra / .... jhillI - rava meM spandita kITa, laTa, patiMgoM ke zvAsocchavAsa meM pratikSaNa janamate-marate zarIroM kI rAziyA~ / koTi-kuNDalIkRta vAsukI ke pRthvIdhara maMDala meM cakrAkAra ghUmatI-cIMTI se lagA kara, pazu caupAyoM, vyAghroM,

Page #341
331 rIchoM, hastiyoM taka kI saMjJAvAna tiyaMca yoniyA~ / unakI vikaTa hiMsAkula, kruddha, kAmojita vikarAlatA / usameM sahasA hI eka antara- muhUrta mAtra ke liye jAgRta apane astitva kI pahacAna / kSaNa bhara ke liye zamita vaira kI zAnta sapATI / usameM se haThAt eka garbha kA visphoTa : usake bhinna, virodhI do kagAroM para khar3A nara-nArI yugala / bIca meM phailI mRtyu kI khAI / usake mohavASpita aMdhakAra meM unakA prANahArI saMghAta, saMgharSa : eka-dUsare meM antahIna saMkramaNa / usa andha, jJAna-hIna saMkramaNa meM se uThatI, suDaula - kuDaula, surUpakurUpa, aneka vidha rUpAkRtiyA~, mAnavAkRtiyA~ / ... aho, yaha nAmakarma kA Azrava - loka hai / sRSTi kA kaSAya samvedita manastatva, kSaNa-kSaNa badalatI bhAva -dazAoM meM se guz2aratA huaa| kisI cUr3Anta bhAva- sthiti meM pahu~ca kara, yaha sahasA tadanusAra sakala yA vikala, sundara yA asundara dehAkRtiyA~ dhAraNa kara rahA hai| aura ye dehadhArI phira apanI jIvanalIlA ke pArasparika saMghAtoM meM, apane saMkalpa-vikalpoM ke anusAra Ayu ke kAla-paTala meM vistArita aura saMkocita hote hue jIvana kI avadhiyoM meM nirdhArita ho rahe haiM / rakta, bhAva aura saMskAra vizeSa se kula, vaMza, parivAra meM paramparita ho rahe haiM / vyakti ke prati vyakti kI bhAva-prakriyA, pratikriyA / kula, vaMza, paramparA ke vyAmoha se utpanna aham ke visphoTa / raktAkta rAga-dveSoM ke saMgharSita jaMgala / eka hI deha-kASTha ke vibhinna TakarAte aMga-pratyaMga / vibhinna kASTha- sthANuoM kI Takkara, gutthamagutthA / Apa apanI hI bhAvAgni se jala uThA jaMgala / nirantara dahyamAna snAyu-maMDala meM se phUTatI nava-nUtana vyaSTiyA~, samaSTiyA~, pazu-jhuNDa, mAnava - kabIle, jAtiyA~, deza, rASTra / vyaSTiyoM ke saMgharSa / samaSTiyoM ke saMgharSa / rAjA zreSTha, dhanI-nirdhana, sattAvAna sattAhIna, dIna-daridra, kaMgAla, kulIna - akulIna, U~ca-nIca, zoSaka aura zoSita / unake antahIna rAga-dveSoM kA duzcakrI pariNamana / kriyA-pratikriyA, prakriyA kI deza-kAla meM anivArya bar3hatI jA rahI zrRMkhalA | itihAsa | " ....moha kI dUdha-gaMdha aura rakta-gaMdha kA vASpita nIhAra-loka / aisI garbhila mRdutA aura namyatA, ki usameM phisalate hI jAnA hotA hai| liMga-yoni dvAroM se eka-dUsare meM samAte hI jAnA hotA hai / moha-raja kI isa dhArAsAra snigdha pravAhitA ke andhe gaharAvoM meM, ye kaise bAdhA ke mAnuSottara parvata haiM / anirvAra dhAvita kAmanAkula prANI acAnaka jAne kisa adRzya vajra caTTAna se TakarA jAtA hai / rAha ru~dha jAtI hai / abhinna prANa, ekAtma lagate praNayI janoM ke bIca acintya g2alatafahamI ke vindhyAcala haharA uThate haiM / durvAra avarodha kI

Page #342
332 himAnI zUnyatA vyApa jAtI hai / janama janama ke mile aura byAhe nara-nArI kAla ke nizcinha, abUjha samudra taTa para akasmAt TakarA jAte haiN| phira pracaNDa taraMgAghAtoM se agamya kinAroM para pheMka kara, bichur3A diye jAte haiM / ayogya, akSama, pApAtmA sukha ke svargoM meM bilakhate haiM / saccI, premala, sahRdayI AtmAe~ abhAva meM dama tor3atI haiN| pyAra kI eka bUMda ko tarasatI ghuTa-ghuTa kara maratI rahatI haiM / saundarya kI sUkSma pAradraSTA AtmA ke liye saundarya AkAza-kusuma ho rahatA hai| jar3a, bhAvahIna, hiMsra vAsanAkula bhujAoM meM, sAvitrI-sI kumAriyoM kI svapna - saMvedanAe~ AjIvana tila-tila jalatI, galatI, ghuTatI rahatI haiM / jJAnateja se udbhAsita sArasvata AnAdRta, upekSita vIrAnoM meM kho rahate haiM / mUrkha ajJAnI, bhAva- samvedanahIna dhana kubera sarasvatI kI vINA ko apanI sampatti se qharIda kara use apanI pratiSThA kI rAjasabhA meM pradarzana kI vastu banA dete haiM / eka andhI bAdhA kI barphAnI parvatamAlA, jo cetanA ke tamasAMdha samudra kI gaharAiyoM meM chupI rahatI hai / kSaNa-kSaNa, manuSya kI pragati kI rAha meM aneka niSkAraNa abUjha kuNThAe~, avarodha, ghuTana ke atala kholatI rahatI hai| itrasuvAsita rezamIna, maMdu paroM ke lihAfa meM ekAeka jAne kahA~ se ullU bola uThate haiM, aura gRddha TUTa par3ate haiM / bichoha, abhAva, zoka-saMtrAsa ke jvAlAgiri phUTa par3ate haiM / ""aho, yaha antarAya karma kA Azrava - loka hai, jahA~ komala, Rju-sarala nadI kI zveta dhArA ke bhItara ajJAta bhujaMgamoM kI bA~biyA~ chupI haiM / ... kArmika vizva kI buniyAdoM meM utraa| usakI jar3oM meM sarasarAyA / usake raktAkta mohoM aura lohoM se sIdhA ttkraayaa| usake sAre AtmaghAtaka dabAvoM se sIdhA guz2arA aura juujhaa| aura dekhatA hU~ ki, samyak darzana, jJAna, cAritrya se Age kI hai yaha cetanA sthiti / avadhijJAna aura mana:paryayajJAna se Age kI hai yaha kriyAtmikA UrjA | sRjanAtmikA abhIpsA / jo kevala dhyAnasamAdhi meM dekha aura jAna kara hI tuSTa nahIM ho sakatI / samAdhAna nahIM pA sakatI / kevala vizrabdha hokara caina nahIM le sktii| jo karmoM ke ar3AbIr3a jaMgaloM meM svayam dha~sa kara unake sAtha ulajhatI hai, jUjhatI hai / aura yoM unake mUloM taka jAkara unakA bhedana, utpATana aura bhaMjana karatI hai / ...karma cakra ke dabAvoM aura TakarAvoM ko sIdhe jhele binA Atma- mukti kaise sambhava hai ? jIvana-jagata kI sArI saMzliSTatAoM aura jaTilatAoM meM se, apanI sampUrNa samvedanA aura saMcetanA ke sAtha guz2are binA, kaise unheM sampUrNa jAnA aura jiyA jA sakatA hai| sRSTi prapaMca ke mUla srotoM meM sIdhe svayam

Page #343
333 saMsarita hue binA, jagata meM arhat kI mukta jIvana-caryA kaise sambhava hai | jJAnazarIrI siddhAtmA, jJeya vizva-prapaMca ke sAtha jJAna-saMvedanAtmaka tadAkAritA na anubhave, to usakI sArthakatA kyA ? jJeya ke binA jJAtA kA jJAna kyA dekhe, kyA jAne ? aura apane ko pUrNa jAnane kI kasauTI bhI, kyA sarva ko pUrNa jAnanA hI nahIM hai ? sarva ke sandarbha meM hI to apane ko jAnane kI jijJAsA uThatI hai / sarva ke samakSa hI to samyak darzana, jJAna, cAritrya kI anivArya AvazyakatA anubhava hotI hai / hara cIz2a, hara vyakti ke sAtha apane samyak sambandha ko jAne binA, unake sAtha samyak tarIqe se jiye binA, unake sAtha acUka samvAda aura sampreSaNa meM Aye binA, apane Atma meM antima rUpa se kaise avasthita ho sakatA hU~ ? kyoMki jJeya ke binA jJAtA kI ThIka pahacAna sambhava nahIM : jJAtA ke binA jJeya kI ThIka pahacAna sambhava nahIM / yaha eka aisI avinAbhAvitA hai, jise vizleSaNa se nahIM samajhA jA sakatA, kevala saMvedanAtmaka saMzleSaNa se jisakA acUka bodha pAyA jA sakatA hai / 'lekina bandhaka karma-raja ke isa AplAvana ko roke binA, vizva-lIlA meM mukta ramaNa sambhava nahIM / magara mukti ko bhI yogI draSTAoM ne sadA ramaNI ke rUpa meM hI bhAvita kiyA aura cAhA hai| nara-nArI ke ramaNa-sukha kI tallInatA ke binA ve usakI kalpanA nahIM kara sake haiN| .... hama kyA kevala eka-dUsare meM pratibimbita hI ho sakate haiM ? paraspara meM bimbAta nahIM ho sakate ? isa parama rahasya kA uttara zabdoM meM nahIM pAyA jA sakatA / kevala usameM avagAhana kiyA jA sakatA hai / usameM avyAbAdha vicarA jA sakatA hai / .... abhI Atma- prasAraNa dvArA vizva meM vyApta karma cakra ke bhItara se guj'raa| use sampUrNa dekhA, jAnA, sahA, bhogA / aura usase uttIrNa ho kara jahA~ A khar3A hU~, vahA~ apane ko anAyAsa apane meM apasArita, saMvarita anubhava kara rahA huuN|''htthaat apane Apa meM niHzeSa simaTa kara, nispanda ho gayA hU~ / deha, prANa, mana, indriyoM kI judA-judA khir3akiyA~ eka-dUsare meM saMkrAnta, atikrAnta ho rahI haiM / deha mAno sparza, rasa, gandha, varNa, dhvani kI tanmAtrAe~ raha gaI hai / indriyA~ unameM yoM pighala gaI haiM, jaise jalajAyA machalI jala meM visarjita ho gaI ho / tanmAtrAe~ prANa meM lIna hotI jA rahI haiM / prANa mana meM vilIyamAna anubhava ho rahA hai / aura cetas mana, caitanya kI lau meM akampa bhAva se mukta ho gayA hai / "

Page #344
334 ""aura lo, karmoM ke cakra makar3I ke sUkSma taMtu-jAloM kI taraha TUTate jA rahe haiN| eka AdikAla kI mahArAtri, zuddha pariNamana kI nIlAbha samudravelA meM avasAna pA rahI hai| rajas aura tamas kI mohAvila raja kA koharA dhIre-dhIre phaTa rahA hai| bhItara ke pUrvAcala kI cUr3A meM antarita eka abhitAbha sUryamukha kI USA sarvatra chiTakI hai| ...aura cetanA ke vizrabdha saghana paTala meM yaha kaisA kampana hai, AplAvana hai| kucha UrjAyita hai, AkAra lene ko ? aura kyA dekhatA hU~, ki svayam lokAkAra hokara kAyotsarga mudrA meM khar3A huuN| phira bhI isa triloka-bimba se alaga, apane hI Apa meM avasthita ho kara, eka hI avibhAjya muhUrta meM ise dekha rahA hU~, apane ko dekha rahA huuN| "mahAbhiniSkramaNa kI pUrva-sandhyA meM, jo apane antaHsAkSAtkAra ke vAtAyana se alokAkAza se lagA kara, loka-cUr3Anta meM vidyamAna siddhazilA taka kI yAtrA kI thI, usakI phalazruti ko isa kSaNa pratyakSa apane meM AtmasAta anubhava kara rahA huuN| usa samaya darzana ke sAtha hI, isa samasta lokAloka meM kevala parikramaNa anubhava huA thaa| isa samaya kevala parikramaNa nahIM, vizuddha darzana-jJAnAtmaka ramaNa kI anubhUti ho rahI hai| lokAkAza aura alokAkAza kI vAyu-sandhi para apane hI bhItara daNDAyamAna ho kara mAno eka chalAMga meM aloka-zUnya ko mApa rahA hU~, to dUsarI chalAMga meM loka-ghanatva ko sameTa rahA huuN| "apane cAroM ora anantAnanta pradeza rUpa AkAza ko dekha rahA huuN| yaha svapratiSTha hai| apane hI AdhAra para hai| na yaha mujha para AdhArita hai, na maiM isa para AdhArita huuN| yaha svayam Apa apanA dhruva hai| maiM svayam Apa apanA dhruva huuN| ina do dhruvoM ke bIca jo antara-dhruvIyatA hai, usI kA nAma saMsAra hai| parasparopagraha tatvAnAm / tatvoM meM pArasparika saMkarSaNa, saMkramaNa, upagrahaNa hokara bhI, antataH ve eka-dUsare meM ho kara atikramaNazIla haiM, pratikramaNazIla haiN| ve bArambAra apane meM lauTa rahe haiM, aura phira-phira eka-dUsare meM caMkramita ho rahe haiN| aura ina do dhruvoM kI adRzyamAna sandhirekhA para maiM kAyotsargita huuN| isa AkAza se bar3A anya koI padArtha nahIM, jisa para yaha AdhArita ho ske| mujha se bar3A koI padArtha nahIM, jisa para maiM AdhArita ho skuu|

Page #345
335 isI se svabhAvataH isakA mujha meM avagAhana, aura merA isameM avagAhana, isakA mujhameM rUpAyana aura merA isameM rUpAyana eka adbhut, anirvaca jIvana-lIlA kI sRSTi karatA hai, jo ki vizva brahmANDa hai| ___ yaha loka eka hI avibhAjya kAla-paramANu meM utpAda, vyaya aura dhruva se saMyukta hai| cetana-acetana padArthoM kI paraspara atikramaNazIla rAziyoM se ApUrita hai| isakA na koI Adi hai, na koI anta hai| yaha anAdisaMsiddha hai| kisI ke dvArA kisI ke kartRtva-vyApAra se varjita hai| ...dekha rahA hU~, apane isa lokAkAra virAT svarUpa ko, jo kamara para hAtha dhara kara khar3A, pairoM ko prasArita kiye mAno kisI pratipuruSa ke rUpa meM mere samakSa daNDAyamAna hai| apane phaile pairoM ke bIca ke atala vistAra meM yaha nigodiyA jIvoM ke sUkSmAtisUkSma saMsAra ko dhAraNa kiye hai, jo ghar3e meM bhare ghI kI taraha ghanIbhUta, usameM otaprota haiN| ye sparzendriya deha mAtra haiN| anupala eka-dUsare meM akAraNa saMgharSita ho kara, ye eka aisI andha pIr3A se prapIr3ita haiM, ki usake anubhava taka se mAno vaMcita haiN| .."inake Upara haiM narakoM kI sAta pRthviyaaN| nIce se Upara kI ora ye haiM-mahAtamaHprabhA, tamaHprabhA, dhUmra-prabhA, paMka-prabhA, bAlukA-prabhA, zarkarA-prabhA, ratna-prabhA / isa ghanaghora jar3AndhakAra meM, tatva Upara se nIce kI ora manda se mandatara hotI apanI maulika prabhAoM se prasphurita haiN| mAno ki vizuddha andhakAra kA kahIM astitva hI nahIM / padArtha apane svabhAva meM hI bhAsvara hai| pArasparika ragar3a-gharSaNa meM, usakI prabhAe~ Urdhva-adho pariNamana ke anusAra bujhatI-ujaletI rahatI haiN| sAta paTaloM aura unake bhItara vyApta asaMkhya biloM meM jIvAtmA vividha-rUpiNI yAtanAoM kI parAkASThAe~ bhoga rahe haiM, apaneapane vibhinna karmAnubandhoM ke anusaar| yahA~ sambandhoM kA sarvathA abhAva hai| na yahA~ jIva kA koI mitra hai, na bandhu, na saMgI-saMginI, na sakhA, na bhRtya, na strI-puruSa, na mAtA na pitA / yahA~ vaha Apa apanA hI mitra aura svAmI nahIM / eka carama, paravaza anAthatva meM cItkAratA, vaha nipaTa nirAdhAra yAtanApiNDa mAtra raha gayA hai| jahA~ kevala yAtanA hI, yAtanA kI sAkSI hai| Atma yahA~ mAno viluptaprAya hai| apane duHkhoM kA antima bhoktA aura sAkSI nitya rahane ko vivaza hokara bhI, isa asUjha tamasA meM vaha mAno nipaTa andhakAra aura usameM Umila raktadhArA kA kampana-paTala mAtra raha gayA hai|" ...aura isa lokapuruSa ke kaTibhAga meM, DamarU-madhya kI taraha asaMkhyAta dvIpa-samudroM se AveSThita madhyaloka hai| anantAntakAla meM yahA~, caurAsI lAkha jIva-yoniyoM ke bIca manuSya jAti kI jIvana-lIlA cala rahI hai / svayam

Page #346
manuSya hU~, mAnava-santAna hU~, aura isI se apane mUlAdhAra, upastha, yoni-liMga, aura vivalI ke atyanta saMvedanazIla marmapradeza meM isa samasta manuSya loka ke rAzikRta sukha-dukhoM ko anukSaNa saMvedita kara rahA huuN| eka manuSya meM, mAno sarvakAlIna manuSya mAna kA eka avikala brahmANDa huuN| "aura merI Urdhva deha ke meru-daNDa meM nIce se Upara kI ora solaha kalpa-svarga, nau grevayaka, aura usase Upara sarvArthasiddhi ke anuttara vimAna haiN| deha-sukha yahA~ uttarottara kAlabodha se pare nivir3atama aura sUkSmatama hote jAte haiN| aise ki, aindrika sukha meM hI atIndrika sukha kA AbhAsa-AsvAda hotA hai| kAmanA mAtra karate hI, kalpa-vRkSoM se yA apane hI bhItara kI kAmagraMthiyoM ke prasravaNa meM se hara sambhava icchA yahA~ tRpta ho jAtI hai| para hAya re, phira bhI AtmakAma yahA~ atRpta hI raha jAtA hai| carama apanatva kI tallInatA yahA~ bhI sambhava nhiiN|" aura acAnaka dekhatA hU~, ki mere mastaka meM khula par3A hai ananta-vyApI sahasrAra : sahasradala kml| jisakI pA~khuriyA~ dikkAla kA atikramaNa kara rahI haiN| mAno ki dikkAla usakI kesara-karNikA meM se nirantara pravAhita saurabha-parAga kI taraMgamAlA mAtra haiN| usa kesara karNikA meM uttiSTha eka jyotira-mRNAla para avasthita hai ardha candrAkAra siddhshilaa| ___..aura lo, usakI cUr3Anta kora para apane ko parama jyotirAkAra, puruSAkAra khar3e dekha rahA huuN| aura mujha meM se AkAza ArapAra baha rahA hai| aura usa AkAza meM samasta dravya-paryAya apane vizuddha svarUpa meM nirantara pariNamanazIla haiN| kintu 'maiM' abhI 'vaha' nahIM ho sakA huuN| usake cAroM ora parikramAyita hU~ : apane hI Atma-samudra ke aneka kaTi-bandhoM aura dvIpa-dvIpAntaroM se santaraNa karatA huA, lokAgra ke vAtavalayoM para A khar3A huA huuN| aura dekha rahA hU~, yaha trilokAkAra puruSa cAroM ora se antahIna, mahA vegavAna, mahA balavAna tIna pavanoM se AkIrNa hai| pahalA hai ghanodadhi pavana, jo apane meM atyanta caNDavegI ho kara bhI bAdala-belA ke samudra-kSitija kI taraha ghanazyAma aura stabdha pratIta hotA hai| usase pare hai ghanavAta pavana, jo maMgiyA ra~ga kI ati sUkSma UrmiyoM se Avila eka vAyavIya prasAra hai| aura usase pare hai tanuvAta-valaya jo uttarottara zIrNatara hotA huA, rUpa-raMgaAkAra se atIta hotA huA-eka atIrya zUnya meM vilIna ho gayA hai| aura isa lokAkAra puruSa ko dekha rahA hU~, alokAkAza ke sattAhIna zUnya meM Daga bharatA huA ki aura Age aura Age aura Age jAnA hai ! kyA hai vahA~ ?

Page #347
337 .... nahIM, atra prastAra meM gati sambhava nahIM / eka pracaNDa pratikramaNa ke sAtha phira apanI hI tAtvika sattA meM paryavasita ho rahA hU~ / ...aura haThAt dekhA, ki vaha lokAkAza-puruSa, paryantahIna AkAza ke adhara meM, eka vizAla sphaTika ke kumbha kI taraha uttolita hai| usake bhItara nIce se Upara kI ora cetanA uttarottara chaha raMgoM kI prabhA se taraMgita hai / tala meM hai kRSNa - ghanasAra jalimA kA paTala / nitAnta avaruddha tamasa kA pArAvAra / usakI sapATI para jo adRzyamAna taraMga sphuraNa hai, usameM se prasphuTita hai nIla bhAva kA loka / nIce kI nipaTa kRSNAndhatA se uttIrNa ho kara, yahA~ moha kAM paTala kucha adhika virala aura bhAvila ho gayA hai| yaha nIla mohinI bhI apane kAmonmAda ke sImAnta para pahu~ca kara, uttarottara viralatara hotI jA rahI hai / '''aura anAyAsa jAne kaba vaha eka kApota varNI mekhalA meM rUpAntarita ho gaI hai / yahA~ cetanA kA Avega adhika Urjasvala hai / aura vaha uttIrNa hone ke liye saMgharSazIla pratIta hotA hai / isa saMgharSa meM se uTha rahe haiM ratanAre agni-sphuliMga / ve kramaza: Upara kI ora samAsita ho kara eka raktima paTTikA meM samarasa ho jAte haiM / isa tejomAna rakta-valaya meM, cetanA kI jhIla para mAno udAtta bhAvoM kA utsarpaNa dikhAI par3atA hai / yahA~ cetanA kI gati spaSTa hI Urdhvonmukha pratIta hotI hai / ... prathama USA ke isa lohita pUrvAcala para acAnaka bezumAra pIle padmoM kI eka puSkariNI udbhinna dikhAyI par3atI hai / isa para kabhI kezariyA nIhAra chAyI dIkhatI hai, kabhI zAnta pItAbha chata kA-sA AbhAsa hotA hai / aura usa chata meM, nIce phaile padmavana meM se adRzya phavvAroM kI taraha prasravita hotI huI sugandha aura parAga kI nIhArikAe~ barasatI dIkhatI haiN| AtmA ke ujjvalatara hote bhAvoM meM se taraMgita ho kara mAno Arjava, mArdava, RjutA, pAvanatA, saundarya aura prIti kI eka hemAbha kamala - zaiyA sI bicha jAtI hai / jisa para aMgar3AI bhara kara uTatI AtmA kI kumArI apane hI hRdaya ke darpaNa meM apanA svarUpa nihAratI huI, mugdha, vibhora, antara -maithuna meM tallIna-sI dIkhatI hai / ...aura aucaka hI usake mahAbhAva mukhamaNDala ke cAroM ora eka candrAbha AbhAvalaya AvirmAna dikhAyI par3atA hai / aura agale hI kSaNa, usa kumArikA kI samagra AkRti simaTa kara usa AbhAvalaya meM zaiyAlIna hotI-sI pratIyamAna hotI hai / aura taba usake hRdaya ke padma- sampuTa meM se anAyAsa zuddha pariNamana kA eka zvetAbha samudra khula par3atA hai / aura usakI madhya-velA kI

Page #348
338 cUr3A para bhavya pUNokAra candramaNDala nitya udayamAna anubhava hotA hai| usakI amRtA cA~danI ke nirjana prasAra meM, eka zukla puruSa kI taraha apane ko una pariNamana kI laharoM para mukta vilAsa karate dekha rahA huuN| cetanA ke isa zukla darpaNa meM sahasrAra kA akhaNDa maNDalAkAra candramaNDala raha-raha kara pratibimbita ho uThatA hai| .."AtmA apane bhAvoM aura pariNAmoM kI Urdhva aura adho pariNati ke anusAra, ina SaT-lezyAoM ke nAnAraMgI billaurI phAnUsa meM, nAnA rUpoM meM bhAvita, bhAsita, pratibhAsita hotI rahatI hai| para sphaTika kA vaha kumbha, jisameM yaha saMvedanoM aura kaSAyoM kI raMga-lIlA cala rahI hai, apanI nirmala, ujjvala sphaTikatA meM sadA aspRSTa rahatA hai| usake sahasroM jagamagAte hIraka pahaluoM meM ye sAre raMga-pravAha yoM jhalaka mArate haiM, mAno vaha sphaTika hI kabhI nIlama ho jAtA hai, kabhI markata ho jAtA hai, kabhI mANika ho jAtA hai, kabhI pukharAja ho jAtA hai, aura kabhI muktA phaloM kA prAntara, to kabhI hIroM kA jagamagAtA mahala / para mUlataH vaha sphaTika raMca bhI badalatA nahIM, raMgIna nahIM hotA hai| apanI pAradarza ujjvalatA meM jyoM kA tyoM aprabhAvita rahatA hai| jaise billaura ke pyAle meM raktima madirA ho, yA koI kabUtara ho, yA hariyAlA upavana ho, use kyA antara par3atA hai| ye lezyAe~, AtmA kI bhAvAtmaka aura rAgAtmaka pariNatiyA~ haiN| ye ve mUla srota haiM, jinameM se karma-raja kA mana aura caitanya meM plavana hotA hai| Azrava hotA hai| svayam caitanya meM se hI, manocetanA meM udgIrNa hokara ye aneka rAga-bhAva ina nAnA raMgoM ke maMDaloM meM khelate haiM / para caitanya inakA kartA nahIM / ye caitanya ke kartA, vidhAtA aura nirNAyaka nahIM / ina nAnA raMgI chAyAvanoM meM caitanya anAhata, alipta khelatA vicaratA hai| jAne kisa apane hI acInhe srota meM se ye bhAvomiyA~ pravAhita hotI haiM, aura caitanya ke kaTibandhoM ko sata, raja, tama kI aneka raMgAraMga chAyAoM se AkIrNa kara detI haiN| para na billaura ina raMgoM kA kartA hai, na ye raMga billaura ke mUla dravya ko apanI AbhAoM aura chAyAoM se raMjita yA AcchAdita kara sakate haiN| caitanya kI abhAvAtmaka chAyA ke nigUr3ha rahasIle vivara meM se hI acAnaka kaSAyoM kA yaha nAgavana rAtoM rAta uTha khar3A hotA hai| jar3a aura caitanya ke gaThabandhana kI isa marma-graMthi ko kisI vizleSaNa dvArA kholA yA sulajhAyA nahIM jA sktaa| ise samagra Atmika AzleSaNa se, mAtra apane hRdaya-kamala meM sphurita ajasra saurabha kI taraha anubhUta kiyA jA sakatA hai|" "aura yaha kyA huA, ki kahIM alakSya zUnya meM kisI ne haThAt yaha lAla kamaloM kA dhanuSa tAnA hai| "uph, eka adRzya kusumabANa mere hRdaya ko bina

Page #349
339 kara gyaa| o"kAmadeva! bahuta dinoM bAda phira merI rAha Aye, madanezvara! tumhArA saharSa svAgata hai, mere apane hI manoja-devatA! yadi merI mukti kI rAha meM tumhArA kusumbhI phUladeza sAmane AyA hai, to avazya usameM se yAtrA kruuNgaa| tumhAre rAsakuMjoM ke rasAkula aMdhakAroM meM avyAbAdha saMcaraNa kruuNgaa| tumhAre tamAlavanoM meM nirantara cala rahI mithuna-lIlA ko phUla-hAroM kI taraha apane gale meM dhAraNa kruuNgaa| una phUloM ko sUMghakara unheM apanI suSumnA kI turiyAtIta nadI meM bahA duuNgaa| lo, maiM AyA kAma, tumhAre mahArAjya meM / tumhArI mAdinI havAoM se maiM aparicita nahIM huuN| ."candanI raMga kA AkAza-vAtAsa / usameM raha-raha kara chiTaka uThatI haiM gulAbI buNdkiyaaN| kahIM alakSya dUrI meM malayAgiri kI zreNiyA~ / unake zikhara-deza para jhUmatI candana-vRkSoM kI pNktiyaaN| unakI DAliyoM meM se pravAhita malaya-pavana kI lahariyA~ / sArA vAtAvaraNa unakI vidagdha unmAdanA se caMcala hai| una malaya-viTapoM ke tanoM meM lipaTe rati-vibhora sarpa-yugala / unake nIla zvAsoM se pIta vAtAsa meM ubharatI hariyAlI kA vizva / .."gulAbI nIhAra meM se AkAra letA padmarAga-maNi kA bhavya toraNa sammukha hai| usake zikhara para lohitAza jvAlA meM se taraMgita kAma-bIjAkSara : 'hriiN'| mere bhItara dhvanita huA 'hrIM aha / o, vasanta kA sadA-taruNa apsarAkAnana / sahasroM phUloM ladI DAliyoM ke AmantraNa / maiM usa padmarAga-toraNa meM praveza kara gyaa| "palAzoM kI jhAr3iyoM meM dIpita kiMzuka phUloM kI kaI-kaI rAtula htheliyaaN| unameM uThatI jvaalaaeN| unake choroM para taraMgita, dhvanita-OM hrIM OM hrIM OM hriiN|' aura cAroM ora khula par3I, saba RtuoM ke sAre hI phUla vanoM aura phalavanoM kI viithiyaaN| juhI aura mAlatI kI nAjuka talAoM se chAye belAvana |"duur para chAyI kAdambinI a~dhiyAriyA~ / unameM USma kacanAra-vana, nIle tamAla-kuMja, pItAbha kadamba kAnana / bahuraMgI phUloM kI sugaMdhita jAliyoM se AcchAdita, nigAha ke pAra taka phailA phUloM kA sImAhIna vizva / ."raMgAraMga phUloM ke jvAra, phUloM ke prAntara, phUloM ke kSitija / phUloM ke hI dinarAta / phUloM ke hI suury-cndrmaa| phUloM ke diganta / eka indradhanuSI or3hanI, havA meM ur3atI huI, isa sAre vasantarAjya para phaharA rahI hai| usakI mAdana maulazrI gaMdha / usameM jAne kina maMjarita AmravanoM kI gaharI gopanatA kA AmaMtraNa hai| kokila kI mAdinI Tera meM phUTatA pUrA ambAvana / pakane ko vyAkula eka adRzya vipula Amraphala / usakI gulAbI pIlimA / usake bhItara banda rasa, mArdava, mAdhurya, sparza kA vyAkula gaharAva /

Page #350
340 jAne kauna maMjariyoM kI bA~heM, mujhe una ramAlavanoM kI gaharAiyoM meM khIMcatI calI gii| kAminI ke padAghAta se phUle azoka vRkSa ne mujhe kuMkUmakezara se raMga diyaa| sahakAra latA kI kisalaMya hatheliyoM ne mere aMga-aMga ko abIra-gulAla se nahalA diyA / ..."Tannanana !' pRthvI ke sAgara-valaya para se uThate lAla kamaloM ke virAT dhanuSa kI TaMkAra ! .. alakSya meM se sanasanAkara AtA eka kusuma-bANa mere hRdayadeza kI kora para A kara stambhita khar3A raha gyaa| "aura sahasA hI, hajAroM raMgAraMga phUlabANoM kI vrssaa| adhara meM mere cAroM ora stambhita una tIroM ne merI rakta-taraMgoM para indradhanuSa kA eka tarala vitAna chA diyaa| ... maiM tumhAre moha-rAjya ke marmadeza meM A pahu~cA, kAmadeva / kahAM ho tuma? dikhAI nahIM par3ate! alakha sparza ke unmAdana puSpAghAtoM se sArI sRSTi kI cetanA ko vikala-ghAyala kara dete ho tuma / anaMgadevatA, tumhArI cirantan gopanatA kA rahasyodghATana karane ke liye, kyA mujhe bhI videha ho jAnA par3egA? samajha rahA hU~, svayam anaMga hue binA, anaMga kA marmabheda sambhava nahIM ! ...dekho na, vahI to ho gayA huuN| ki tumhAre phUloM ke tIra mere cAroM ora adhara meM thame raha gaye haiN| tuma bhI anaMga, maiM bhI anaMga / naMga se anaMga hone meM dera hI kitanI lagatI hai| antara-muhUrta mAtra / tumhAre tIra bIMdhe to kise bIMdhe ? ' maiM Apa hI apanA sparza ho gayA huuN| maiM Apa hI apanA raMga, rUpa, gandha dhvani ho gayA huuN| tumhAre mohana rAjya kA AbhArI hU~, o zarIroM ke adRzyamAna zarIra ! maiM to zarIra lekara AyA hU~ tumhAre loka meM |"pr tumhAre kusumabANoM ke mRdu AghAtoM ne vipala mAtra meM hI mujhe azarIra kara diyaa| AghAta se pare kA apanA avyAbAdha mArdava maiM pA gyaa| kahIM dUra ke pariprekSya meM drAkSa-latAoM se lipaTe sevavana, nAraMgIvana, jambUvana, nImbUvana, dharA cUmate pIta AmoM se lade ambAvana / unakI ajJAta gopanatA meM se phUTatI sItkAra-dhvani / parirambhaNAkula rati kI kAtara Aha, ucchavAsa / zaci aura indra kI vilAsa-zaiyA kA nakura-ziMjana / "kunda phUloM ke vAtAyana meM videha-kSetra kI kumaarikaa| usakA vivhala kezAvila vakSa-nivedana / kailAza kI do gamphita hima car3Ae~ / mANikya kI khir3akI para belA phUloM se lacakatI mAvalikA kA sandhyA bhisAra / mAtaMga-vimohinI vINA kI surAvaliyoM para udayana aura vAsavadattA kI milana-zaiyA / lATa deza kI sundarI ke bipula kuntaloM meM se ghiratA mohagandhI andhakAra / keralasundarI ke romAMcanoM se unmAdita kadalIvana aura malayavana / unake svigdha antaHpuroM meM abhisAra /

Page #351
341 pulakAkula kadamba, tamAla, campaka, kacanAra ke gahana vana / unake gaharAvoM meM jhUmatI, laharAtI kAdambinI ke anAghrAta aMdhiyAre / unameM jAne kitanI dekhI-anadekhI priyAoM ke antHpur| sisakAriyoM ke saptakoM meM, cira AliMgita rati aura kAma kA antahIna ramaNa-saMgIta / oAgata, vigata, anAgata ke sAre nara-nArI yugaloM ko apane roma-roma meM krIr3A karate anubhava kara rahA huuN| aura parAga kI cAdaroM meM rabhasalIna haMsa-mithuna, kapota-mithuna, sarpa-mithuna, mayura-mithana : kevala merA zarIra, jo kisI bhI kSaNa hotA hai, aura nahIM bhI hotA hai| mere apane hI meM lIna hote zarIra meM ye saba sArAMzita hokara pUrNakAma ho gaye haiN| o sRSTi ke sthAyI bhAva, srotomUla devatA! tuma ho kevala mere hI caitanya kI eka taraMga / prANi mAtra kI rakta-zirAoM meM tumane apane ko dhanuSAkAra tAna rakkhA hai| tInoM kAla meM tInoM loka, tumhAre puSpAghAtoM se ghAyala vivhala hote rahate haiN| aura nAnA rUpAkAroM meM, nAnA saundaryoM meM, saMcArita ho rahe haiN| ve yoM bilasa rahe haiM, ki saMsAra kI dhArA akSuNNa pravAhita hai| yaha saba caitanya kA hI cidvilAsa hai| caitanya ke binA bhAva kahA~, sphuraNa kahA~, ramaNa kahA~, pariNamana kahA~ ? ___ suno kAma, tuma mere liye merI AtmA ke atirikta aura koI nhiiN| mere hI cetas citta meM se taraMgita hokara tuma merI ekameva AtmA ko hI ananta sambhAvanoM meM vyakta karate ho| tumhArI uddAma krIr3AoM meM bhI maiM apane hI Atma kI acintya mahAzakti kA anumAna pAtA huuN| ___o mere Atma ke hI vizvasaMcArI vIrya, deza-kAla ke paTaloM meM jI bhara khele tuma ananta kAla meN| lekina o videha, tumhArI zarIriNI rati tumheM sadA dhokhA de gii| hara bAra tumheM ramaNa kI majhadhAra meM atRpta chor3a kara, vaha mohinI tumhAre hAthoM meM se jAne kahA~ phisala jAtI hai ! 'Daro nahIM kAbha, maiM tumhArA apaharaNa karane nahIM aayaa| maiM tumhAre rAjya ko miTAne nahIM, Upara uThAne AyA huuN| maiM tumheM jalA kara bhasma karane nahIM AyA, tumheM asIma anAhata meM paripUrita karane AyA huuN| Ao kAma, mere Atmaja, tumhArI zAzvata rati, mere antaHpura meM tumhArI vyAkula pratIkSA kara rahI hai|" aura lo, kAmarAjya kA indradhanuSI nIhAra loka anAyAsa bIca se vidIrNa ho gyaa| vaha mere donoM ora simaTatA calA aayaa| nIlAbha diganta kA virAT maNDala sAmane khula par3A hai| nistabdha nirjana / acAnaka usakI kora para vizAla hemAbha paMkha pasAre yaha kauna ur3A A rahA hai ? usake paMchI-mukha

Page #352
341 meM raha-raha kara koI devamukha jhalaka mAratA hai| usake mastaka para sarpa kuntaloM kI taraha laharA rahe haiN| usake donoM kandhoM para jhUlate do phukArate bhujaMgama / eka usake mastaka para phaNAmaMDala tAna kara pITha para laTaka gayA hai| dUsarA use sara se paira taka mApatA huA, usake upastha para ArUr3ha ho nIce kI ora dhAvita hai| eka mAnavAkAra mhaapkssii| "pahacAna rahA hU~ tumheM, grudd'-devtaa| samajha rahA hU~, mujhe apane prajJAloka meM le jAne Aye ho / tumhAre bhUmaNDala, jala maNDala, vAyu maNDala, agni maNDala, AbhA maNDala meM unmukta vihAra karanA cAhatA huuN| inheM pAra karake hI to apane Atma ke sahasrAra meM ArohaNa kara skuuNgaa| maiM tumhAre caraNoM ko apane kandhoM para dhAraNa karane ko prastuta huuN| tumhArI jaMghAoM kI tAtvika pRthvI mere sammukha tara AyI hai| ki maiM usa para pagadhAraNa kruuN| lo, maiM aayaa| maiM avarUr3ha huA ! 00

Page #353
AtmA kA paramANu visphoTa "indriyoM ke dvAra bAhara se banda hokara, eka antarmukha bodha meM ekAgra ho gaye haiN| manAtIta stabdhatA meM sthira ho gayA hU~ / sAtha hI talAtala meM utarate cale jAne kI anubhUti ho rahI hai| eka sAndra saghanatA meM cetanA ghanIbhUta hotI jA rahI hai| "aura dekha rahA hU~ sAmane, ki garur3arAja ke pagoM se upastha taka vyApta tAtvika pRthvI ke rAjya meM saMkramaNa kara rahA huuN| dhUli aura paMka se pAra ho kara, eka apAradarzitA meM ghira gayA huuN| nitAnta dRzyahInatA meM kisI aTala avarodha se TakarA rahA huuN| eka aisI sthiratA aura ghanatva, jisameM ThaharAva hai| cIjeM Tika sakatI haiN| AdhAra pA sakatI haiN| oha, dhAriNI pRthvI ! avaruddha karatI ho, bAMdhatI ho, rokatI ho UrjA ke pravAha ko| tAki garbhAdhAna kara sko| apanI pratibaddhatA meM se piNDa ko prakaTa kara sko| o urvI, tuma utpanna karatI ho, sRjana karatI ho / kauna kahatA hai, ki tuma jar3a tatva ho ? tuma to mA~ ho / mA~ acetana kaise ho sakatI hai| vaha to sRSTi kI svataH sphUrta prajJA hai| tuma to diye kI taraha prakaTa cinmati ho / jinezvaroM ne tumheM AtmA kI eka paryAya, pRthvIkAya dekhA aura jAnA hai| bhautika yoM kahA, ki tuma nitya bhavamAna ho, ho rahI ho / nirantara bhavya ho / jo sadA ananta-koTi piNDoM meM prakaTa ho rahI hai, vaha to jIvana kI ajasra dhArA hai| usakA jar3atva se kyA sambandha / - jar3a, kUTastha yahA~ kucha nahIM hai| mujhe to sabhI kucha cintamaya pratIta hotA hai| cinmaya yadi dIpaka hai, to mRNmaya usI ke prakAza meM se AkRta lAlaTena hai| jaba pRthvI, apa, vAyu, agni sabhI tatva jIva-nikAya haiM, to ajIva ko kahA~ khojUM / maiM vahA~ se gujara rahA hU~, jahA~ jIva aura pudgala ke bIca kA parokSa dhAgA anAyAsa sirA jAtA lagatA hai| jahA~ bhavamAna bhautika, aura sthiramAna Atmika ke bIca kA bheda-vijJAna eka akatha bodha meM viluptaprAya lagatA hai| o mA~ dharatI, kisa kadara khIMca rahI ho mujhe apane antaratama kakSa meN| anirvAra aura vizuddha hai yaha AkarSaNa / atyanta ku~vArI kaziza / "lo, maiM A gayA tumhAre garbha meM / apAradarza aNdheraa| zuddha andhakAra / "aura dekhatedekhate isameM jyoti ke bindu phUTane lage haiN| aura mAno zUnya kI isa yavanikA

Page #354
344 ke bhItara kucha anAvarita ho rahA hai| sahasA hI jaise pardA simaTa gyaa| nAgacampA kI knnik| jaisA eka pItAbha catuSkoNa sAmane aayaa| jo nigAhoM ke pAra taka sarvatra phailA hai / usake prasAra meM bahuta komala jvAroM kA AbhAsa / eka rezamIna UrmilatA, bemAlUma kampana / o, yaha pRthvI kA mUlagata maNDala hai| isake hArda meM pIle kamaloM kA zarIra lekara yaha kauna uTha rahI hai ?... isake roma-roma se kesara-parAga kI dhuli jhar3a rahI hai| isake aMga-aMga meM sugandha ke sarovara laharA rahe haiN| o pRthA, vajra-kaThora hai tumhArA yaha komala bandhana / tumhAre kaTibandha ko tor3ane ke liye kaI yogI janama-janama jUjhate haiN| para tumhArI isa vajratA ke bhItara kaise rasa aura mArdava kI suvarNA chupI hai / suvrnn-mllikaa| "tumhAre zAzvata kaumArya ke kaTibandha ko bhede binA, tumase milana sAkSAtkAra sambhava nhiiN| eka pracaNDa pravega se sara ke bala tumhAre urumUla meM pha~satA huA, tumhArI mekhalA ke gahare hote pradezoM meM utarA rahA huuN| ..'o, yahA~ gahana-gahIra a~dhere meM dIpita haiM ratnoM kI khAne, suvarNa-raupya kI khAneM, tAmra kI khAne, abhraka aura pArada kI khAne, loha kI khAneM, phaulAda ke parakoTa / vajra-paMjara ke catuSTaya se AveSTita hai tumhArA yaha durga / aura isake kendrastha sumeru meM tumhArA adhivAsa hai| kapiza-pIta lohita raMga ke do sarpa, vAsukI aura zaMkharAja, paraspara guMtha kara tumhAre kaTimaNDala ko jakar3e hue haiN| unakI ziromaNiyoM ke sahasrAra meM apAra agniyoM ke jaMgala haiN| aura maiM jvAlA ke kitane hI toraNoM se anAyAsa pAra ho rahA huuN| aura lo, vahA~ A pahu~cA hU~ acAnaka, jahA~ tumhArI trivalI meM suvarNajala kA eka sarovara hai, gahana zAnti meM Umila / pRthA, AdyA kumArI, tumhAre kaumArya ne mujhe kRtArtha kiyaa| yahA~ tumhAre pUrNAliMgana meM Ate hI, eka adbhuta atikrAnti anubhava ho rahI hai / tumhArI uru sandhi meM se eka suvarNa kamala kI taraha prasphoTita ho kara Upara utkrAnta ho gayA huuN| ___ eka ghanasAra taralatA meM avagAhana kI anubhUti ho rahI hai| antaratama ke jvArila dabAvoM kA ghanIbhUta saMsparza / cetanA ke sudUra tIroM meM tar3aphatI vidyullekhAe~ / unako bA~hoM meM Andolita meghoM ke ghaharAte paTala / jo bAta kI vAta meM dhArAsAra varasa kara samudra kA zyAmala prasAra ho gaye haiN| ___oha, yaha varuNa kA jalarAjya hai| isakI agamya gaharAiyA~ mujhe pukAra rahI haiM / 'lo, maiM AyA, maiM AyA varuNa devatA, tumhAre tAralya ke loka meN|

Page #355
345 kSitijahIna taralatA kA maNDala / dizA, darzana , jAna ke taToM ko bahAtA huA / pravAha aura pariNamana kA nagna sAkSAtkAra / apamaNDala, jalajalAyamAna vizva : jala, jala, antahIna jala / maNDalAkAra, phira bhI maNDalAtIta / padama aura karkoTaka nAmaka AziviSa soM se AveSTita / sarpa, jinameM kSIra samudra ke paTala Abaddha haiN| baMdha kara bhI jo anupala bandhana tor3a kara nita navya kuNDaloM meM Upara kI ora utthAyamAna hai| apane prabhAjAla se hI mAno jo AkAza ko AvirmAna kara rahe haiN| una soM ke bIca samartha varuNa dikpAla ne garur3a kA utsaMga nirmita kiyA hai / vaha jala ke bIjAkSaroM se sphurAyamAna hai| zveta puNDarIka vana para taraMgita akssrmaalaa| unameM anukSaNa jala zukla kamaloM meM AkRta ho rahA hai| aura kamalajAla jala meM visarjita ho rahA hai| ''jalaprabhA kA tAtvika paaraavaar| usake kendra meM arddhacandrAkAra varuNamaNDala / usameM se vicchurita hote jala-kiraNoM ke vitAna / indradhanuSa kA eka virAT gumbad / usake choroM para se phUTate digvalaya / usa gumbada tale jala-hariNI para ArUr3ha varuNa-devatA / usake hAtha meM hai laharoM kA pAza / .''lo, maiM AyA tumhAre pAza meN| lekina yaha kyA, ki koI kisI ko bA~dha nahIM pA rahA / lahareM, jo Apa hI apane ko bA~dha rahI haiM, Apa hI .apane ko khola rahI haiM / lahareM, jinameM ba~dha kara, mukti ke unmukta kror3a meM khela rahA huuN| "AplAvana, AplAvana, AplAvana ! eka sAtha Upara ke agamya meM ArohaNa, nIce ke athAha meM avarohaNa / avagAhana, avagAhana, avagAhana! atala ke vanaspati-vanoM meM mahA jalasarpa kI taraha saMsarita huuN|"oh, bar3avAnala kI maNDalAkAra rAziyA~ / himAnI kI antarnihita agniyoM meM snAna kara rahA huuN|" ""aura lo, trivalI ke trikoNAkAra dhruva-pradeza meM A pahu~cA huuN|" usake kendra meM, vAsukI ke phaNAmaNDala para magara-macchoM kI zaiyA / usa para aMgar3AI lekara uTha rahI hai, yaha kauna zvetAbha jaMlAganA ! laharoM kI hajAroM bAMhoM se pariveSTita maiM, makara ke jabar3oM meM yaatrit| usa jalAndhakAra meM, kaTi se kaTisAt bAhubaddha jalimA ke sAtha sNghrssnn| samudra-maMthana / apane hI vakSa meM se tar3akatI bijliyaaN| dAruNa vajrAghAta / usameM se visphoTita jalarAjya kI gahirama antrimaaeN| unameM dopita sIpa, zaMkha, muktAphala, pravAloM ke jyotirmaya kkss| kAlakUTa viSa ke pyAle meM uphana rahe amRtaphena / kahA~ gaI vaha varuNa sundarI ? vaha kevala merI hI A~khoM meM chalakatI vAruNI ho rahI / merI hI vaizvAnara, mere hI Atma meM se avirala prasArita vidyut kA paaraavaar| usameM se taraMgita trikAlavartI anantakoTi brhmaanndd| merI hI

Page #356
346 Atmazakti, merI hI citizakti / usake atirikta aura kahIM kucha nahIM, kucha nahIM, kucha nhiiN| lo, maiM visphoTita huaa| samasta lokA kAza ke ArapAra tar3akatI vidyullekhaaeN| vahnimAna loka-puruSa, nAbhi-kamala para daNDAyamAna |"yh kauna hai, yaha kauna hai ?... dekha rahA hU~ garur3arAja, yaha tumhArA uraHpradeza hai| vahni dikpAla kA mahArAjya / ananta aura kuvalika nAmA brAhmaNa jAti ke sau se yaha valayita hai, saMrakSita hai| ananta maNDalAkAra jvAlAoM kI paMktiyoM se yaha parivyApta hai| jvAlAe~, jinakI AkAza bhedI lapaToM meM eka mahAsarpiNI UvoM meM phUtkAra rahI hai| apanI asaMkhya kuNDaliyoM ke graMthijAla meM se unmukta hotI huI, jo agama zUnyoM ke paTaloM ko kampita kara rahI hai| nispanda stabdhatA ke prAntaroM meM jo eka sphoTa ke hilore jagA rahI hai|... lo, ghaTasphoTa ho gayA ! ..."usa zUnya ke kendra meM udgIrNa ho uThA eka dhagadhagAyamAna hvnkunndd| usakI hutAzana-zikhA para eka zveta karpUrI lau / usameM sphurita hai bIjAkSAra 'ra' : usakI 'raMkAra' dhvani se zUnyoM ke rikta maNDala sattA ke saMcaraNa se ApUrita ho uThe haiN| usa havana-kuNDa kI trikoNa vedI ke tInoM kUToM para aMkita haiM lohitAkSa jvAlA ke svastika / mANikya ke stavakoM meM, jaise sRjaka vaizvAnara kI mAMgalika agni virAjita hai| kalA meM citrita, samAhita, staMbhita / vaha sarvatra antarvyApta hai| citra-vicitra sRSTi ke agni-bIja / ajJAna ke aMdheroM meM lipaTe hue| jar3a karma-raja ke bandhanoM meM AveSTita / lekina cinmaya aMgirA una kholoM ko barabasa tor3a kara phUTa nikalate haiN| phira bhI bandhaka raja ke adRzya taMtujAla cinmaya agni zikhAoM ke svAbhAvika upagraha ko vyabhicarita karate haiN| ..aura vizuddha vaizvAnara meM kaSAya ke kar3ave dhuMe uThane lagate haiN| aura yoM mUlataH sundara sRSTi apane prAkaTya aura vistAra meM viSama, visamvAdI ho uThatI hai| sundara cehare meM se asundara phUTa nikalatA hai| isa kSaNa kA atyanta dhAtmIya lagatA pyAra, agale hI kSaNa baira ho kara sAmane AtA hai| parama jIvana agni, vinAza aura mRtyu se dhUmrAyita ho jAte haiN| sArI sRSTi ghuTana meM jItI hai; mauta, arakSA aura anizcaya kI suraMgoM meM ulajhaulajha jAtI hai| jIvana-jagata eka antahIna saMtrAsa, aura trAsadI ke atirikta aura kucha nahIM lgtaa| sAre saundarya, pyAra aura sambandha antataH apane hI ko dhokhA dete dIkhate haiN| kahA~, kaise isase niSkRti ho ? Aha, merI isa

Page #357
347 vedanA ko kauna samajhegA ? kauna kauna "kauna ? are koI sunatA hai kahIM merI pukAra, manuSya ke beTe kI pukAra, sattA ke ina antahIna maNDaloM meM ?... "lo, usa kendrIya havana-kuNDa kA 'ra' se aMkita hutAzana eka vikarAla jivhA meM pralambita hotA huA AkAza ko bheda rahA hai| asattA ke jar3a riktoM se TakarA rahA hai| aura vahA~, sattA aura asattA kI alakSya sandhi para, tumula andhatA kA bhISaNa prakopa / usameM se ekAeka koI vimAna puruSa kUda kara vedI para A khar3A huA hai| aja (bakare) para savAra hai, vaha bhjnmaa| aura vaha mujhe jvAlA kI vAhue~ uThAkara AvAhana de rahA hai : _ 'o re zAzvata manuja, Adi manu-putra, Ao, Ao, Ao, yaha 'raMkArI' hutAzana tumhArI Ahuti mAMgatA hai| tAki jar3atva ke sUkSmatama haThIle khola kaTa sakeM, aura vaizvAnara nidhUma ho kara, nirbAdha ho kara, apane vizuddha saundarya bhaura samvAda ke vizva ko manuja kI pRthvI para prakaTa kara skeN|' aura ajArohI aMgirA ne apane hAtha meM thame sArAMzI agni ke AlAta (jvalita kASTha) ko adhikatama Upara uThA kara use eka cunautI kI taraha mujha para pheNkaa| use maiMne apane nagna hRdaya ke kamala meM jhela liyA / aura lo, maiM ApAda-mastaka vizuddha, pAradarza agni-zarIra meM sarvatra vyApta ho utthaa| "aura kAla ke zUnyAMza mAtra meM, jAne kaba, maiM eka hI sahasrapAda chalAMga meM, usa asattA se saMgharSita hutAzana kI 'raMkArita' zikhA meM kUda pdd'aa| vizuddha agnilA se vizuddha vaizvAnara kA carama AliMgana / usakI nivir3atA meM, cirakAla ke aTala, ajeya karma-bhUbhRtoM kA bhaMjana, visphoTa / zveta bhasmoM kI DheriyoM se vyApta antarikSa ke bhItarI prasAra / ...aura merI Agneya sAMsoM meM ghumar3a uThe pralaya ke prabhaMjana / unameM ur3a kara vilIyamAna hotI, ve pAMDura bhasma kI rAziyAM / aphATa parjanyoM kA tumala grjn| havA ke digantavAhI pAloM meM pighala kara vilIna ho rahI bijliyaaN| vizuddha vAyu kI trNgmaalaa| aura usa para Arohita maiM / 'kahA~ "kisa mora".? "o garur3a devatA, dekha rahA hU~, yaha tumhArA mukha-maNDala hai| sakala bhuvanoM meM vyApta aneka pavanoM kI alakAvaliyoM se yaha maMDita hai| dekha rahA hU~, ki takSaka aura mahApadma nAmaka zUdra jAti ke do sau ke kuNDala yaha dhAraNa kiye hue hai| unhIM kI phUtkAra se visphUjita ho kara pavana dasoM dizAoM meM bahatA hai| caudahoM bhuvanoM ke Abhoga ko usane kampAyamAna kara rakkhA hai| apane dvArA ur3Aye hue bhramaroM kI kAlimA, tathA usase mizrita

Page #358
348 apane zarIra kI vipula ucchavAsa -prabhA se usane samasta AkAza-maNDala ko kurvarita kara rakkhA hai / ____ maruta-mudrA se maMDita, o vAyu-puruSa, maiM tumhAre Amane-sAmane huuN| jalasIkaroM se nirmita tumhAre bhAmaNDala meM, apane janmAntaroM ke bhasmIbhUta karmacakra ko vizuddha pudgala dravya meM vigalita dekha rahA huuN|"klpaant kAla kI A~dhiyA~ eka trika meM sthirIbhUta ho kara, tumhAre AsapAsa eka nilaya race hue haiN| usake kendra meM vyomAtIta vyoma ke nigUr3ha vivara meM tumhArA adhivAsa hai| nIlAMjana ghana kI sAndra chAyA tale, dekha rahA hU~ tumheM, vAtapramI jAti ke hariNa para savAra / vegIle vihAra se lIlAyita tumhAre durlalita hAthoM meM donoM ora dolAyita haiM, zAla vRkSa kI zAkhAyeM / unake choroM para raha-raha kara kisalaya phUTa rahe haiN|" uncAsa pavanoM ke jhakoroM para Arohita, puSpita zAloM kI vnlekhaaeN|... jo merI pazyantI dRSTi ke unmIlana meM, jAne kaba apasArita hokara, eka zvAsa mAtra ho rahI, mere nAsApuTa para stambhita / ... aura aba mere samakSa hai, garur3arAja kI samagra mUrti, samasta AkAza ko parivyApta kiye hue| jisakI parAtparagAmI ur3Ana ko dekhA nahIM jA sktaa| amitAbha haiM usake digantaragAmI paMkha / jo itane vegIle haiM, ki gati kA yaha carama vega hI, parama stabdhatA bana gayA hai| unake virAT prasAroM para sarasarA rahe haiM jaya aura vijaya nAmA mahAsarpa / jinakI maNi-prabhAoM se dizAoM meM ujAloM ke varaNDe khulate jA rahe haiN| anantoM meM uDDIyamAna prajJA-puruSa, garur3a devatA / apane adho bhAga meM pRthvI ko sameTe / apane Abhoga meM svayambhU-ramaNa samudra se vlyit| urasthala meM agniyoM kI vanamAlA dhAraNa kiye| mukha-maNDala meM asaMkhya vAyu-paTaloM se prakampita / tumhArI prajJA meM tatva apanI tamAma vividhatAoM ke sAtha prAkaTyamAna hai| kRtajJa hU~ tumhArA , he mahAvijJAna, ki tumhAre bhItara pAda se mastaka taka yAtrA karate hue, maiM tatva kI hara sambhava lIlA meM lIlAyita huA, abhivyakta huaa| usake bhItara-bAhara ko ekAkAra pAra kiyaa| amUrta se mUrta meM meM, aura mUrta se amUrta meM eka bAragI hI antara-saMkramita huaa| aura aba tumase uttIrNa ho kara, phira apane Atma ke aura bhI agale taTa para A khar3A huA huuN| aura dekha rahA hU~, tumhAre ekAgra sampUrNa vigraha ko / AkAza-maNDala ko kabhI apane sarvavyApI paMkhoM se prasArita karate hue, kabhI apasArita karate hue, usase bhI pare uDDIyamAna /

Page #359
....o samasta kI saMcAriNI zakti kAma, tuma mujhase anya koI nahIM / tuma bhI kevala AtmA hI ho| aura samasta ke prakIrNaka aura prajJAtA, vikIrNaka aura vijJAtA garur3adeva, tuma bhI mujhase anya aura koI nahIM / antataH kevala AtmA hI ho / AtmA, jisakI jyoti, zakti aura sambhAvanA kA pAra nahIM / ... 349 ... kevala maiM, kevala maiM / kevala Atma kevala Atma / UrdhvAtiUrdhva maNDaloM meM uDDIyamAna / ...aura Upara, aura Upara, aura uupr| AkAza se bhI pare kA AkAza / mahAzUnya meM ekAeka prasphurita nIlimA kA nilaya / taccinmayo nIlimA / ' usake gahana meM vizrabdha eka jyotirvalaya / usameM padmAsanAsIna, eka AtmalIna puruSAkRti / jisameM sAre raMga eka sAtha taraMgita haiM / aura vaha raMgAraMga taraMgamAlA, eka agAdha zvetimA meM nirvApita hai / avibhAjya samaya meM, taraMgita - nirvApita: nirvApita-taraMgita / akampa zveta, ekAkI lau / ziva, sadAziva, paraziva / parAtpara ziva / maiM / .... maiM maiM maiM mere atirikta kahIM aura koI nahIM / .... mere pairoM ko jakar3e hue kAla kA mahAvyAla / AThoM karmoM kI sA~kaleM apanI sampUrNa zakti ke sAtha jhanajhanA rahI haiN| mujhe aura bhI kasa rahI haiM / "". chaTapaTA rahI haiM, tar3atar3A rahI haiM, TUTate TUTate mujhe aura bhI adhika jakar3e calI jA rahI haiM / "" - ... mujhe pudgala ke una vikSubdha pAzoM para dayA A gii| mere hI caitanya meM se avarUr3ha rAga kI ye janmAntaragAmI santatiyA~ / nirdoSa haiM ye / ye apanA kAma kara rahI haiN| maiM apanA kAma kara rahA hU~ / ye apane svabhAva meM sakriya haiN| maiM apane cidbhAva meM sakriya hU~ / inakA svabhAva hai bA~dhanA / to ye bA~dha rahI haiN| merA svabhAva haiM khulanA, kholanA / to maiM khula rahA .hU~, khola rahA hU~ / " Jain Educationa International ....mere cAroM ora saMkSubdha, phUtkArate vyAloM ke phaNAmaNDala / tar3aka, kara TUTatI zRMkhalAoM kI jhaMkAreM / aura ThIka tabhI maiM apane pIche, asIma atIta meM ekAgra dekha rahA hU~ / mahAkAla kI asaMkhya puMjIbhUta timira - rAtriyA~ | andhakAra kI parAtparagAmI khAI / usakI ghora a~dhiyArI kagAra / tamasa kA ghaharAtA kAlA sAgara / tamisrA ke ArapAragAmI jaMgala / kajjala- giriyoM kI uttuMga zreNiyA~ / unameM saMghaTita hotI vajra caTTAneM / merI haDDiyoM meM anubhUta / .. vizuddha loha kI parvata - sA~kaleM / cumbakIya zakti ke vartuloM meM paraspara saMgharSita / vizuddha mohanIya karma kI saraNiyA~ / mere pIche chUTate padAghAtoM se TUTatI huiiN| phaulAda ke bezumAra gopuram -- eka meM se eka nikalate hI jA rahe, For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #360
350 antahIna / merI TikatI aura uThatI er3iyoM se dhvasta hote hue| merI uttarottara Upara ko Arohita chalAMgoM meM-jasata ke parvata, rA~ge kI zailamAlAe~, merI pagacApoM se atala meM satI huiiN| tAmra kI raktAbha shRNglekhaa| tejolezyA kA pradeza / karma-vargaNAoM kA mizrita prasAra / vicitra vikurvita bhAvoM ke caTTAnI zilpa / / ...pItala ke vizAla parakoToM se Abaddha kAsya kA durbhedya rahasIlA durga / raupya aura suvarNa kI bhrAntiyoM se jagamagAtA huaa| aneka nAma, rUpa, AkAra / surUpa-kurUpa avayavoM, dhvaniyoM, ceharoM ke prasAra / kIti, kAminI, kAMcana kI savarNa sA~kaloM se AveSTita mekhalAe~, kaNikAe~, bArahadariyA~, burja / sAmrAjya / itihAsa / .merI sA~soM meM pralaya ke prabhaMjana / merI pagataliyoM se phUTatI satyAnAza kI jhNjhaaeN| merI alakAvaliyoM meM dhadhakate nIla-lohita jvAlAoM ke bhujaMgama / kAla, jo mere kezoM meM, sudhA-pAlita soM kI taraha zaraNAgata hai| aura usa para udita hai duija kI candrakalA / ..."merI diGgamaNDala vyApI chalAMgoM kI jhaMjhA-jhAMjharoM meM, dhArAsAra dhUla ke parvatoM kI taraha jhar3ate mAyA ke suvarNadeza / 'karmoM kA durbhedya cakravyUha, cUra-cUra ho kara bahatA huA / ...aura mere ArohamAna agale caraNa tale zveta rUpAcala / raupya kI zrRMgazreNiyA~ / upazama zreNi kA pradeza / zikharoM para zAnta, nizcala, anAhata / nirmala dhavalatA kA prsaar| para usake taloM meM dabe par3e haiM kaSAyoM ke a~dhiyAre stuup|... lo, mere padAMguSTha se vicUrNita huA rUpAcala kA sarvocca zAnta shikhr| pAtAloM meM paryavasita vAsanA ke sahasroM vyAla usa sundara rajata cUr3A se phUTa pdd'e| mere pichale paga ke Takhane meM lipaTa kara ve zaraNAgata hue| mere saMvega kI uttAla agnima taraMgoM meM bhasmIbhUta ho kara, ve dizAoM meM vilIna ho gye| .."ArohaNa, ArohaNa, ArohaNa / eka gabhIra avagAhana kI anubhUti / mere kaTi-pradeza ko maNDalita kiye abhraka kI zreNiyA~ / mere prazama ke saMvega se virNita ho gaI ve abhraka kI rAzikRta prteN| camakIlI reNu kA ati komala, pravAhI AbhAjAla / mujhe kaTisAt karatA huA |"o, merI zivAnI kA rajo-pravAha ! .. mere upastha meM kampAyamAna pArada kA samudra / askhalita, Atma-samAhita / Upara kI ora anAhata Arohita / / sahasA hI merI kaTi ke cahu~ ora maMDalAyita, pravAhita vaha abhraka kI reNu-rAzi / haThAt vaha eka paramA sundarI meM vigrahIta ho gii|"oh, tribhuvana sundarI, prajJApAramitA, lalitA, bhuvanezvarI bhgvtii| eka pracaNDa prakarSaNa, utkarSaNa kA hillola / aura lo, vaha carama lAvaNyA lalitA, mere UrdhvaretA mahAvIrya pArada meM utsaMgita ho gii|

Page #361
. . . 351 "taraMgita pArada kA mahA prasAra / usake bIcoMbIca Abaddha, nizcala pArada kA mahA golaka / usa para chAyI abhraka kI bahuta mahIna or3hanI / "sahasA hI usameM gabhIra, adRzya Agneya pariNamana / eka nagna laharAtI jvAlAdeha / "aura dekhate-dekhate usake tale vaha pArada kA mahAliMga taraMgita hiraNyaprabhA se bhAsvara ho utthaa| jAtarUpa hiraNya kA eka suvarNAcala / apane hI Apa meM pariNamanazIla / apanI hI pItaprabhA meM sahaja Urjasvala / saMkalpa-vikalpa se pare eka kalpakAma mahecchA kA sumeru / aho, yaha pIta lezyA kA prazAnta padmavana hai, jisakI jhalaka kaI bAra apanI antazcetanA meM sthira hone para pA cukA huuN| "usa suvarNAcala kI cUr3A meM phira yaha kaisA sUkSma kampana hai ? mere atala kI zayita agniyoM meM eka visphUrjana, uttolana / vaha suvarNAcala usameM adhikaadhika pratapta hotA calA gyaa| usakI pIlimA uttarottara pighala kara, eka vRhad dhavalimA meM rUpAntarita ho rahI hai / ...mere nAbhi-kamala se uThatI tejazikhA meM, dekhate-dekhate vaha suvarNAcala gale kara eka suvarNa kA ajasra pravAha ho gayA |"aur acAnaka dekhA, ki vaha pravAha mere bhrUmadhya meM prajjvalita eka zveta lau meM lIna ho rahA hai| aura vahA~ khula par3A eka hIraka kA prabhAvila mahA praantr| usake kendra meM uttiSThita hai, eka nizcala hIraka-kUTa / ' ___ aura usakI stabdha cUr3A para baiThA hai, yaha kauna ekAkI teja-puruSa ! usakI vAsanA kA anta nhiiN| ananta dravya-paryAya meM pariNamanazIla UrjA kA vaha srota hai| UrjA, jo usI ke hRdaya-kamala meM se udgIrNa parama ramaNI hai| "Aja, isa lagna muhUrta meM, apane samasta pariNamanoM ko nistabdha kara, vaha usa UrjasvalA ko ekAgra, ekAnta rUpa se apane AliMgana meM Abaddha pAnA cAhatA hai| usa teja-puruSa kI mahAvAsanA apanI parAkASThA para pahu~ca gii| ___samasta dRzya-adRzya lokAloka, nimiSa mAtra meM usake mana meM lIna ho gye| mana prANa meM lIna ho gyaa| prANa eka zvAsa mAtra raha kara Atmasthaho gayA / eka gahana, sarvAtIta, vizrabdha samAdhi / .."usake merudaNDa ke SaTacakroM meM nIce se Upara kI ora, tathA Upara se nIce kI ora nirantara avasarpita aura utsarpita eka mhaasrpinnii| vaha pracaNDa vega se UrdhvArohaNa karatI huI phuphakAra rahI hai| usakI asaMkhya kuNDaliyA~ khula kara ekonmukha utthAyamAna ho cliiN| vaha apanI krIr3A ke sAre cakroM aura maNDaloM meM dhAvita hone lgii| AjJAcakra kI akamya lau kA bhedana karatI huI, vaha brahma-randhra meM pachAr3eM khAne lgii|

Page #362
bahattara hajAra nAr3iyoM meM pravAhita merA prANa, sahasA hI apasArita ho gayA / aura vaha sUrya aura candra nAr3iyoM meM eka tIvra milanAkulatA se pravAhita hone lgaa| jAne kaba sUrya-zvAsa candra-zvAsa meM lIna ho gyaa| candra-zvAsa sUrya-zvAsa meM lIna ho gayA / sUrya aura candra nAr3I ekIkRta ho kara suSumnA meM vilIna ho gii| ...maiMne carama zvAsa khiiNcaa| usameM lokAloka meM vyApta sAre pavana ekAgra khiMca kara paripUrita ho gye| mere hRdaya ke kumbha meM ve nizcala ho gye| ...aura lo, pRthvI apa meM lIna ho gayI, apa teja meM lIna ho gyaa| teja vAyu meM lIna ho gyaa| aura ekameva vAyu mere hRdaya-kumbha meM stabdha ho gyaa| "antara-muhUrta mAtra meM mana, vacana, kAya ke sAre kampana stabdha ho gye| viSaya aura viSayI kA bheda samApta ho gayA |"ek niviSaya nirvikalpatA meM sabhI kucha nistaraMga ho gyaa| eka zukla prazAnta antarikSa, jahA~ kahIM koI nahIM hai| kucha nahIM hai / mAtra eka niHsIma zUnya kA rAjya / usa stabdhatA meM sahasA hI eka uttolana, ArohaNa / kSapaka-zreNi para ArUr3ha hotA eka nagna teja kA vigraha / hRdaya-kumbha meM nistabdha zvAsa kA eka pracaNDa saMghAta / ___ "brahmarandhra kA bhedana kara, uttAna gatimAna teja-zalAkA / mastaka meM eka gahana udbhedana kA AghAta / ' ____ "khula par3A Urdhva meM, sahasrAra kA mahAsukha-kamala / asaMkhya pA~khuriyoM meM pallavita / lokAkAza, alokAkAza ko parivyApta karatA huA / "usameM ananta koTi sUryoM kI prabhA, ananta koTi candramAoM meM abhisaraNa karatI huii| usakI kaNikA meM gahana sukha-zAnti kI parAga-zayA / usameM AtmaramaNalIna paraziva, sadAziva, apane hI Apa meM nitya pariNamanazIla / " hRdaya ke kumbha meM se utsarpita ho kara utthAyamAna huI shivaanii| aura vaha una arhat-puruSa ziva kI goda meM utsaMgita ho kara, unakI niraMjana jyoti meM tadrUpa AliMgita ho gii|"oh, merA Atma hI ziva hai, merA Atma hI zivAnI hai / mukti svayam hI bAlA-vadhu ho kara merI goda meM A gaI hai| aura apanI gaharAiyoM meM anubhava kara rahA hU~, ananta ramaNa, apanI Atma-ramaNI ke bhItara utsaMgita ho kara / hRdaya ke kamala meM usase ajasra amRta kA kSaraNa, prasravaNa / jisake bhItara pUrNa jJAna hI, mahAbhAva ho gayA hai| Atma-samvedana hI, sarva-samvedana ho gayA hai| "sahasA hI ramaNa, eka gahana viramaNa meM vilIna ho gyaa| eka nispanda, nistaraMga vizrabdhatA /

Page #363
353 eka virAT nistabdhatA kA deza-kAlAtIta prasAra / usake bIca sahasA hI eka niHsvana brahmANDIya visphoTa / nAda, bindu, kalA kA ekAgra utsaraNa / ...aura lo, pRthA ke garbha se phUTa par3A eka anantagAmI indradhanuSI hutAzana / trikoNAkAra / usakI parama zItala jvAlAoM meM raha-raha kara uThatI nAnA raMgI UrmiyA~ / trikoNa kI donoM khar3I bhujAoM para bhaMgima lapaToM ke raMgIna chlle| ___ aura usa mahA hutAzana kI zikhA, AkAza ke sAre UrdhvAtiUrdhva maNDaloM kA bhedana karatI huI, turIyAtIta zUnya meM vilIyamAna hai|" .."anAyAsa eka agAdha zAnti meM saba kucha nirvANa pA gyaa| "eka mahAzUnya, virATa, niHsIma / "kahIM koI nahIM / maiM bhI nhiiN| vaha bhI nahIM / .."para yaha kauna hai, jo isa saba ko dekha rahA hai ? 00

Page #364
kaivalya ke prabhA-maNDala meM [ vaizAkha zuklA dazamI : aparAhna ] haThAt bhItara atala meM eka mahA ghaTasphoTa huA / Upara ke ajJAta meM anAdi andhakAra kA virAT gumbada vidIrNa ho gayA / parAtpara hRdaya kI kamala-karNikA meM anAyAsa zubhra niraMjana jyoti prasphuTita ho utthii| eka hI samaya meM usameM samasta lokAloka prakAzita ho uThe / 'akasmAt merA Asana utthAna ho gayA / antarikSa ke adhara meM utphulla ambhoja kI taraha AsIna hU~ / mastaka ke cAroM ora asaMkhyAta sUrya-candroM kA prabhA maNDala udbhAsita hai / sAre hI graha-tArA maNDala usameM taraMgita haiM / maiM bAhara kI ora unmukha huA / merI A~kheM nikhila para khula uThIM / bhItara aura bAhara bhinna nahIM rhe| ve mere eka hI jJAnacakSu ke do avinAbhAvI AyAma ho gye| dizAe~ darpaNa kI taraha svaccha ho gaI haiM / sarvatra zAzvata vasanta kA malayAnila baha rahA hai / sArI hI RtuoM ke phala-phUla eka sAtha khila Aye haiM / mere tRtIya netra ke unmIlana meM jhalakA : tInoM loka aura tInoM kAla ananta maNDalAkAra mere cAroM ora cakrAyamAna haiM / anAdi se ananta kAla taka kI sRSTi ekAgra mere caitanya kI lau meM Alokita hai / Agata, vigata, anAgata kI caurAsI lAkha jIva-yoniyA~ merI pratyakSa dRSTi meM paribhramaNazIla haiN| hathelI para rakkhe sahasra pahalU sphaTika meM, jaise triloka aura trikAlavartI padArtha aura prANi mAtra ke samasta pariNamana kA ekAgra avabodhana kara rahA hU~ / sUkSmatama paramANavika raja ke asIma dhUmila pravAha dekha rahA hai / aura usI kSaNa unake bhItara se khulate raupya aura suvarNa raja ke pravAha dekha rahA hU~ / kitanI sunamya aura mRdu hai zuddha dravya kI yaha dhArA / kitanI samvedanazIla, saMsparzazIla / bhAvoM ke anusAra yaha rUpAyita hotI calI jAtI hai / asaMkhyAta rUpa-AkAra prakaTa hote haiM / prANiyoM kI yoniyA~ paramparita hotI haiM / apane AsapAsa maNDalAkAra ghUmate dekha rahA hU~, nAnA jIva-gatiyoM ke vizva | pRthvI, apa, teja, vAyu, AkAza ke saMndhAna / khanija dhAtuoM ke vizva | pRthvI, apa, teja, vAyu, AkAza ke saMndhAna / khanija dhAtuoM ke

Page #365
355 rAjya / vanaspati rAjya / nigodiyA jIvoM kI nadiyA~ / nAnA jAti ke tiryaMca kITa, pataMga, pazu, paMkhiyoM kI uphanAtI ndiyaaN| narakoM kI yaatnaandiyaaN| kAla kI mahAdhArA meM manuSya kA mRtyaMjayI puruSArtha / usake bahuAyAmI saMgharSa / usake jaya-parAjaya, vikAsa-pragati ke abhiyAna / usake lIlAkhela, praNaya-pyAra, vidyA-vilAsa, kalA-sRjana, anveSaNa-AviSkAra / saundarya, teja aura jJAna ke mahA svapna / usake vaibhava, aizvarya, RddhiyA~, siddhiyA~ / Atmajaya aura vizvajaya kA usakA parama puruSArtha / kAla ke bhAla para aMkita usakI labdhiyoM ke amRta-lekha / sahasrAbdiyoM vyApI purANa, itihAsa, kAvya, darzana, kalA, zilpa, sthApatya meM vyakta, vyApta / anAdi se AgAmI taka kA zRMkhalita itihaas| ....yaha saba mAno eka kAla-paramANu meM ekAgra dekha rahA huuN| isa dekhane meM koI AgA-pIchA nahIM hai| samasta ko apanI antara-jyoti ke eka maNDala meM dekha rahA huuN| anukramika nahIM hai merA yaha darzana aura jJAna / avagraha, IhA, avAya, dhAraNA ke krama meM nahIM dekhatA, nahIM jaantaa| sarva ko eka hI samaya meM ekAgra, samagra, saMyukta dekha-jAna rahA huuN| jAnane kA koI saMkalpa nahIM / jJAtA aura jJeya kA koI vikalpa nahIM / jJAtA-jJeya meM, aura jJeya jJAtA meM sahaja yugapat pratibimbita haiN| darpaNa meM darpaNa kA abhisaar| gaharAva meM gaharAva kA AliMgana / jJAna kA dhArAsAra pravAha / jJeya kA dhArAsAra pravAha / unameM paraspara saMgumphana, saMkramaNa, atikramaNa, antaHkramaNa / sacetana bhI, acetana bhI jJAnAtmaka bhI, ajJAnAtmaka bhii| aura usa TakarAva meM se kSarita hotI zuddha rasa, Ananda, saundarya kI akSata dhArA |klaa aura sRjana kA nirantara kAma-kalA-vilAsa / nAda, bindu aura kalA kA anavarata liilaa-khel| ___ maiM paramANu se lagA kara brahmANDa ke hara astitva taka kI bhItarimA meM jhAMka rahA huuN| eka tRNa ke kampa meM bhI apane jJAna se saMcarita hU~, aura bhUgarbha se lagAkara mAnuSottara parvata ke ArapAra taka merA vIrya anAyAsa abhisArita hai| hara vastu, hara vyakti, hara. sattA mere hRdaya meM apanA bheda khola rahI hai| hara paramANu ke jyotirmaya kakSa meM nirantara cidvilAsa kara rahA huuN| maiM hara pattI aura phUla kI ragoM meM jIvana kA rudhira bana kara pariNamanazIla huuN| maiM triloka aura trikAla ke hara padArtha aura AtmA ke sAtha ghara para hU~-abhI aura yhaaN| maiM unake atyanta AtmIya ekAnta meM hara samaya unake sAtha huuN| unake bhAva aura abhAva kA samAna saMgI huuN| mahAbhAva meM unake sAtha tadAkAra huuN| mahAjJAna meM unakA jJAtA-draSTA sAkSI huuN| maiM eka hI samaya meM unake sAtha tadrUpa hU~, aura phira bhI unase bhinna, pare svayam Apa huuN| asampRkta, ekameva akhaNDa sattA-puruSa / jisake eka aMza meM saba kucha pariNamanazIla hai, aura svayam aMzI inase atIta haiN|

Page #366
356 hara padArtha ke nirantara utpAda, vyaya, dhruvatva rUpa pariNamana ko apanI hathelI meM khile kamala kI taraha, usake hara rago-reze meM nagna, pratyakSa dekha rahA huuN| maiM hara vinAza meM pravAhita hU~, utpAda meM UrjAyita hU~, phira bhI apane svarUpa ke dhruva meM avicala huuN| ___maiM sarvagata hU~, aura jagata ke sAre padArtha mere Atmagata haiN| kyoMki merA Atma jJAnamaya hai, aura ye sAre padArtha mere jJAna ke viSaya haiN| trikAla meM vyApta ananta dravya, unake paryAya, unake pravartana, mere jJAna ke tadAkAra prameya haiN| maiM pramAtA, prameyagata ho kara, unakI anukSaNa kI pravRtti ko dekha rahA hU~, jI rahA hU~, bhoga rahA hU~, jAna. rahA huuN| sarva padArtha bhagavAna AtmA meM hI haiN| unase bAhara kahIM kucha nahIM / kyoMki jJAna se bAhara jJeya kahA~ hai ? vicitra hai merA yaha sva-rUpa, sva-bhAva / maiM vastuoM aura vyaktiyoM ko, padArthoM aura AtmAoM ko apane caitanya meM pratikSaNa AtmasAt karatA huuN| jaise dIye kI lau meM saba kucha prakAzita ho kara, usameM AtmasAt hotA hai| phira bhI maiM una saba ko apane svAtma-pradezoM se asparza karatA huA, apraviSTa raha kara hI dekhatA-jAnatA, anubhava karatA huuN| lekina nigUr3ha hai merI jJAnazakti kA vaicitrya / kyoMki jaba maiM apanI antara-jyoti se samasta jJeyoM ke pradezoM meM pravartana karatA hU~, to unheM AmUla ukhAr3a kara jaise apane meM grAsa kara letA huuN| taba maiM unake sAtha apane sampUrNa Atma-pradezoM se saMsparzita hotA hU~, unake samasta pradezoM meM apane samasta pradezoM ke sAtha praviSTa hotA huuN| ___ hara AtmA maiM merA avyAbAdha praveza hai| hara sattA mere saMsparza meM AliMgita hai| anupala unakA sArA bhItara, mere sAre bhItara ke sAtha tanmaya hai| eka ananta niraMjana jyoti ke bhItara : eka nizcala mahAmauna parirambhaNa meM / havA aura prakAza hara kamare kI khir3akiyoM se ArapAra baha rahe haiM / kamarA unameM hai, ve kamare meM haiN| ve paraspara acUka parasita aura pravezita haiN| phira bhI ve anupala eka-dUsare ke ArapAra ho rahe haiN| eka-dUsare ko atikrAnta kara rahe haiN| kyoMki sattA sthira kUTastha nhiiN| kucha bhI avicala nhiiN| sakala carAcara nirantara pariNamanazIla haiN| pravAhI haiN| nita-navyamAna haiN| nitya taruNa haiM, nitya sundara haiN| yaha sattA ke svabhAva meM nahIM, ki koI bhI pArasparika sparzana, AliMgana, pravezana aTala sthira ho rahe / kyoMki sattA dhruva hI nahIM, utpAda bhI hai, vinAza bhI hai| isI se to sRSTi sambhava hai, lIlA sambhava hai| isI se to jagata-jIvana meM nirantara tatva kA vasantotsava cala rahA hai| pUrNarAga kI yaha zAzvata rAsalIlA vItarAga ke jyotirmaya kuMjoM meM hI sambhava hai| rAdhA ko cirakAla rAdhA rahanA hai, kRSNa ko cirakAla kRSNa rahanA hai| viraha bhI hai, milana bhI hai| dvaita bhI hai, advaita bhI hai / khaNDa

Page #367
357 bhI hai, akhaNDa bhI hai| nitya bhI hai, anitya bhI hai| yaha dvaitAdvaita vastu ke svarUpa meM hI baddhamUla hai / 'eko'ham bahusyAm' na ho, to jagata aura jIvana kI dhArA ananta meM kaise pravAhita raha sakatI hai| "tuma apane nija kakSa meM raho, maiM apane nija kakSa meM rahU~ / tuma apane vAtAyana para raho, maiM apane vAtAyana para rhuuN| dRSTi kA praNayAbhisAra satata calatA rahe / tuma mujhe aura adhika aura adhika jaano| maiM tumheM aura adhika aura adhika jaaneN| phira bhI tumhAre nija kakSa kA ekAnta abhaMga rhe| mere nija kakSa kA ekAnta abhaMga rahe / aura tabhI tumhArA sampUrNa nijatva aura ekAnta, mere sampUrNa nijatva aura ekAnta meM anAyAsa tanmaya ho rahe / akhaNDa lau ke sAtha, akhaNDa lau kA parirammaNa / __-paraspara ko adhikAdhika samajhane aura jAnane meM anajAne hI eka-dUsare ke bhItara ananta avagAhana aura abhisrnn| nahIM hai irAdA, nahIM hai icchA, ki aisA kruuN| cAhane se vaha sambhava nhiiN| anacAhe hI vaha acUka sambhava hai| jJAna aura samvedana meM aTUTa yugala-lIlA cala rahI hai| usameM anukSaNa hama saba nitAnta alaga-alaga haiM, svayam Apa haiM, ekaakii| aura usI eka samaya meM, hama saba eka-dUsare meM Alokita, saMsparzita, samvedita, sampravezita haiN| koI sthiti, koI bhAva, koI pariNamana ekAntika nhiiN| anaikAntika hai / vastusthiti anaikAntika hai, isI se to nAnA raMga-rUpAtmaka, nAnA bhAva-saundaryAtmaka sRSTi-lIlA sambhava ho rahI hai| sattA kA svabhAva hI eka nigUDha vaicitya se maMDita hai| mahAbhAva, mahAjJAna aura mahAsamvedana kA yaha saMyukta cetanA-stara kathana meM nahIM simaTa sktaa| mere jJAna kI lahareM, sarva ke nagna pariNamana kI laharoM meM jaba.paraspara saMgumphita hotI haiM, usa nijAnanda kI rasalInatA ko kaise khuuN| o re,triloka aura trikAla ke sAre paramANuo, padArtho , nara-nAriyo , hRdayo, AtmAoM, merI ora dekho| maiM hU~ tumhAre kAma kA carama utkarSa / tumhAre sAre kAma, kAmya aura kAminiyA~ mujha meM ekAgra mUrtimAna hue haiN| ve merI citavana ke unmIlana meM nirantara tumhAre sAtha krIr3A kara rahe haiN| __ triloka aura trikAla meM tumhAre eka-eka paramANu, icchA, AkAra, kriyA, bhAva-samvedana ke sAtha merA avirAma sampreSaNa aura samvAda cala rahA hai| svargoM kI kalpakAma zaiyAoM meM maiM hI tumhArA sambhoga haiN| tiryaMca yoniyoM aura narakoM ke yAtanA-kuNDoM meM, jahA~ tumhArI mUka yaMtraNAoM kA, tumhArI abUjha ghuTanoM kA koI saMgI nahIM, sahabhAgI nahIM, sAkSI nahIM, vahA~ maiM acUka

Page #368
358 tumhArA saMgI huuN| anukSaNa tumheM apane jJAnAliMgana meM le kara, maiM tumhArI samagra vedanA ko nirantara anubhava kara rahA huuN| merA cideza, mere cidbhAva meM, apanI cetanA se nirantara kriyAzIla raha kara tumhAre hara kampava, hara pariNamana ke sAtha, anukampita hai, anupariNamanazIla hai| maiM tumase nitAnta bhinna hU~ : maiM tuma se nitAnta abhinna hU~, jJAna ke isa asaMkhya-AyAmI billaurIkakSa meN| __ o mere yugatIrtha ke logo, tumhAre saMkaToM, santrAsoM, saMgharSoM ko, tumhAre yuddhoM aura vinAzoM ko, maiM apane hRdaya-kamala kI isa jvAlA aura jyoti meM satata dekha rahA hU~, samvedita kara rahA hU~, jAna rahA huuN| merI yaha dhArAsAra darzanajJAnAtmaka sahAnubhUti aura prIti, tumhAre sAtha itanI tadAkAra aura tadrUpa hai, itanI tanmaya aura marmagAmI hai, ki maiM tumhAre bhItara-bAhara ko samagra ekAgra apanI AtmA meM jyoM kA tyoM anubhava kara rahA huuN| 'Atmavat sarvabhUteSu / ' merA yaha sarvAtmabhAvI samvedana aura sarvavyApI jJAna hI apanI aMjasratA aura aviralatA meM, kaba koI vaizvika kriyA bana jAtA hai, so mere sivAya aura kauna jAna sakatA hai| o merI sarvakAlIna sArvalaukika prajAo, mere lokAloka prakAzI prabhAmaNDala ko ekaTaka nihAro, aura jAno ki usameM tuma kahA~ ho, vizva kahAM hai; tumhAre aura vizva ke sAtha merA kyA sambandha hai / jAno ki tumhAre vartamAna vizva-prapaMca meM maiM kahA~ ghaTita hU~, kahA~ spandita hU~, kahA~ sandarbhita aura sambandhita huuN|"apnii antazcetanA ko apanI tIvratama vedanA kI kSuradhAra se kharoMco, aura apane usa jakhma meM jhA~ko, aura svayam hI z2Ano ki maiM usameM kahIM samvedita aura sakriya hU~ yA nahIM ? apane samagra Atma se mere samagra Atma meM saMsparzita hoo, saMgumphita hoo, aura ThIka-ThIka jAno ki tuma kauna ho, maiM kauna hU~, yaha vizva kyA hai, isameM hamArA pArasparika upagraha, uttaradAyitva aura sambandha kyA hai ? ... kitanI locabharI, lacIlI, lAlityabharI, sunamyA aura lIlAmayI hai yaha sttaa| kitanA sahaja sulabha, suprApta hai mujhe hara paramANu, hara padArtha, hara prANi, hara hRdaya, hara AtmA / kitanA pratyakSa hai mujhe unakA kSaNa-anukSaNa kA pariNamana / mAno ki sarvatra merA hI Atma-ramaNa ho, merA hI hRdaya-spandana ho / ___ esI sunamyA, mArdavI, lacIlI, lalitAMgI hai yaha sattA kumArI, ki mere hara samaya ke hara bhAva ke sAtha yaha tadrUpa tanmaya hotI hai, bhAvita hotI hai / mere mana cAhe rUpoM meM, dravyAyita aura pariNamita hotI hai| jisa rUpa meM ise

Page #369
dhyAtA hU~, bhAtA hU~, cAhatA hU~, khojatA hU~, usI rUpa meM yaha AkRta, bhAvita, samvedita ho kara madrUpa ho jAtI hai| isa saMvidrUpA mahAmAyA ke marma ko nyAya ke nayoM aura tarka ke tor3oM se nahIM avagAhA jA sakatA / kevala anubhavagamya hai, isa sunamyA kA pUrNAliMgana / vicAra, vitarka, vizleSaNa ke Rmika, khaNDakhaMNDa jJAna se vaha gamya nhiiN| pUrNa jJAna aura pUrNa samvedana kI ekAtmika lau meM hI use anubhUta kiyA jA sakatA hai / ____ Atma-samvedana hI vizva-samvedana ho gayA hai| vizva-samvedana hI Atmasamvedana ho gayA hai| Atmabodha ke binA vizvabodha sambhava nhiiN| vizva-bodha ke binA Atma-bodha sambhava nhiiN|" __o mere yuga-tIrtha ke logo, zAstra par3ha kara sattA-svarUpa aura Atma-svarUpa ko nahIM jAna skoge| apane nitAnta svataMtra, ku~vAre samvedana, aura apane nitAnta nijI vaiyaktika Atma-saMgharSa se gujara kara hI AtmA aura sattA kI zAzvatI satI kA pANigrahaNa tuma kara sakoge : usakA pUrNAliMgana pA skoge| nyAya aura tarka ke siddhAnta raca kara, vijJAna-zAlA kI drAviNI meM use aneka rasAyanoM dvArA vizleSita karake, gaNita ke bIja, aMka aura rekhA meM use gina aura mApa kara, tuma usakA kicit bhI anumAna na pA skoge| zAstroM aura jJAna-vijJAnoM ne AtmA kI satI-sundarI ko sadA hI vyabhicarita aura lahUluhAna kiyA hai| are use kaso nahIM, chedoM nahIM, bhedo nahIM, bAMdho nahIM, chinna-bhinna na kro| niHzeSa samarpita ho jAo usakI goda meM / aura vaha tumheM apane A~cala meM le kara, apanA gopanatama satya aura saundarya tumhAre bhItara anAyAsa Alokita kara degii| maiM AtmAliMgana ke usI utsaMga meM se bola rahA huuN| maiM sarvArtha-siddhi ke anuttara vimAna kI reliMga para khar3A hU~, aura mere mastaka para prArabhAra pRthvI kI arddha-candrAkAra siddha-zilA jAjvalyamAna hai / vahI merA antima ghara hai| usameM ananta koTi siddhAtmAe~ apane vizuddha jJAnazarIra meM, svapratiSThita haiN| apane Atyantika nijatva meM, ve nitya ghara para hai| aura usI kSaNa ve apane jJAna kI ananta jyoti se triloka aura trikAla ke hara pariNamana meM ramaNa kara rahI haiN| ...aura usI eka kAlAMza meM maiM loka ke kendra meM zAzvata vidyamAna jambUvRkSa ke tale AsIna huuN| aura usI eka avibhakta muhUrta meM, loka ko ghera kara avakAza meM par3e tIna vAta-valayoM kI sandhiyoM meM khela rahA huuN| mere eka ora hai sattA kA anantagAmI cira-caMcala prasAra / mere dUsarI ora hai

Page #370
sattAhIna alokAkAza kA andhakAroM meM phailA vistAra / hU~' aura 'nahIM hU~' kI isa qhataranAqa kagAra para ekAkI avicala upasthita huuN| . ___ aura dekha rahA hU~, ekabAragI hI saSTi kI. avirAma kriyAzIla karmazAlA kI sArI bhItarimAoM ko| jo mAno ulaTa kara merI padmAsanAsIna hatheliyoM meM A par3I haiN| unameM paramANuoM kA dhArAsAra pravAha / usa pravAha meM, paramANu anAyAsa jAne kaba asaMkhya skandhoM meM anubandhita ho rahe haiN| jIvoM ke akAraNa kSaNa-kSaNa badalate U~ce-nIce bhAvoM ke anurUpa ve skandha akalpanIya prANi-rUpoM meM pINDita ho rahe haiN| eka anirvaca sandhi ke donoM ora, ye paramANu aura skandha kahIM jIva-yoniyoM urvarita ho rahe haiM, kahIM paudgalika AkAra-prakAroM meM rUpAyita ho rahe haiN| jIva aura pudgala, cetana aura acetana kA bheda-vijJAna yahA~ nirNAyaka nahIM / cara aura acara, cetana aura acetana ke bIca yahA~ jo nigUr3ha sambhoga kAlAtIta bhAva se cala rahA hai, vaha mAtra kaivalya-jyoti dvArA gamya hai, kevala anubhavya hai, kathya nhiiN| usakA kathana mAtra antataH mithyAdarzana hai| . pRthvI, jala, agni, vAyu kA jo paMcIkaraNa aura visarjana tAtvika AkAza . meM satata cala rahA hai, vaha merI jJAna-cetanA kI eka taraMga mAtra meM samayAtIta ghaTita ho rahA hai / paramANu se skandha, aura skandha se virAT carAcara piNDoM taka kA jo sarjana aura visarjana satata saMsarAyamAna hai, use apanI hI deha kI pratyeka paramANu sandhi meM pratyakSa dekha, jAna aura anubhava kara rahA huuN| do paramANuoM ke skandhita hone ke bIca kA jo adRzya avakAza hai, vahA~ maiM upasthita huuN| skandha se piNDIkaraNa ke bIca kA jo akalpya antarAla hai, vahA~ maiM upasthita huuN| nAnA bhAvoM ke anurUpa karma-raja ke rakta meM rUpAntarita hone kI jo dhAraNAtIta prakriyA cala rahI hai, usameM maiM nirantara khela rahA huuN| rakta ke mAMsa meM ghanIkaraNa, aura mAMsa ke avayavoM meM rUpAyana ke bIca kI jo gopana sandhiyA~ haiM, unameM maiM satata pravartanazIla huuN| mAMsa ke asthi-bandha hone taka ke bIca kA jo guhya saMsAra hai, usakI hara pariNamanaparamparA meM maiM anAyAsa saMkramaNazIla huuN| asthiyoM ke majjAyita hone ke bIca kA jo maMthana hai, usameM maiM cakrAyamAna huuN| aura majjA ke dehAkRta hone taka ke bIca kI jo anavabodhya riktatA hai, usameM maiM eka anavarata sabharatA kI taraha otaprota huuN| o triloka aura trikAla ke sAre prANiyo aura mAnavo, tumhArI eka sA~sa aura dUsarI sA~sa ke bIca kA jo abhedya avakAza hai, usameM kevala maiM hI huuN| tumhAre andha maithuna aura praNayAliMgana meM jo vyAkula sA~soM kA saMkulana, saMkarSaNa aura saMgharSaNa hai, usameM maiM avicala upasthita huuN| tumhAre

Page #371
361 bhAvoM aura ucchAvAsoM kA jo tumula TakarAva aura ulajhAva hai, usake bIca maiM sahaja spandita huuN| phira unake bIca kA jo sahaja sulajhAva aura samvAda hai, vaha bhI maiM hI hU~ / tumhAre sambhogoM meM, deha aura deha, AtmA aura AtmA ke ekIkRta hone kI jo niSphala sparzAkulatA hai, pravezAkulatA hai, vaha bhI maiM hI hU~ / o nara-nAriyo, tumhAre raja aura vIrya ke saMghAta, sammizraNa aura garbhAdhAna ke bIca jo AplAvana hai, vaha mere jJAna kI eka taraMga mAtra hai, aura maiM usase tatkAla uttIrNa nitAnta Atmastha hU~ / ghRta- kumbhita nigodiyA jIvoM ke eka zvAsa meM aThAraha bAra janmamaraNa karate andha saMsAra kA maiM anavarata saMgI aura sAkSI hU~ / narakoM kI akalpya duHkha - rAzi meM Alor3ita, sarvakAla ke jIvoM kI asambhava meM pachAr3a 'khAtI cetanA ke liye maiM bhavyatA aura sambhAvanA kA zAzvata sUryodayI kinArA hU~ / tumhArI carama nirAzA ke andhakAra meM, maiM AzA kA akampamAna ekameva dIpaka hU~ / akhaNDa kAla-paramANu meM, isa anantakAla vyApI sRSTi-lIlA ke bhItara maiM apane jJAna- zarIra ke sAtha nirantara khela rahA hU~ / isa saba meM sarvatra, sarvakAla upasthita, upaviSTa, saMsparzita, sampravezita hokara bhI, usI eka kAlAMza meM isa saba se asampRkta, maiM kevala svayam Apa hU~ / sarvatra, sarva meM ramaNazIla ho kara bhI, tatkAla sarvArtha siddhi ke anuttara vimAna kI isa reliMga para avicala khar3A hU~ / ThIka isI kSaNa loka ke kendrastha jambU-vRkSa tale akampa baiThA huuN| aura tabhI lokAkAza aura alokAkAza ke bIca ke tIna vAtavAlayoM kI sandhi para, nirvAta dIpazikhA kI taraha, nistabdha khar3A hU~ / sarva kA ekameva, akSuNNa, nitya upasthita sAkSI, jJAtA draSTA mAtra / sraSTA hokara bhI, asraSTA / kriyAzIla ho kara bhI, akriyAzIla / karttA bhI akarttA bhI / koI kisI kA karttA nahIM, koI kisI kA akarttA nahIM / kartA, karma, karaNa, sampradAna, apAdAna kI sArI vibhaktiyoM ke bIca avibhakta ekAgra maiM / saba kevala apane-apane karttA, dharatA, haratA haiN| phira bhI paraspara abhigrahIta, upagrahIta, paraspara meM saMkramita / antataH apane hI meM niSkrAnta / maiM, kevala maiM, saMsAra bhI, nirvANa bhI / sAta tatva aura nau padArtha, saba kevala isa AtmAnubhUti meM AtmasAt haiN| kahIM aura koI nahIM / basa, kevala hU~ / 'hU~' aura 'nahIM hU~' se pare, ekameva upasthiti / ...apane zarIra ke ArapAra dekha rahA hU~ / dhUla-mATI, mAMsa-majjA kA vaha merA bhArila zarIra jAne kaba kahA~ jhar3a gayA / merA annamaya koza dhAnyakhetoM kI urvarA mATI meM bilA gayA hai / merA prANamaya koza bikhara kara havA 1

Page #372
362 meM vyApa gayA hai, jisa meM prANi mAtra sAMsa le rahe haiN| merI mAnasika deha yoM apane hI bhItara apasArita ho gayI hai, jaise UrNanAbha ne apane hI phailAye taMtujAla ko apane meM vApasa khIMca liyA ho| merA vaha eka mana asaMkhya ho kara, sarva ke mana-manAntaroM meM abhisAra karane calA gayA hai| usakI kalpa-zakti meM se hajAroM nava-nUtana AkAroM ke vizva rUpAyita ho rahe haiN|" "aura aba dekha rahA hU~, apane vijJAnamaya zarIra ko| itanA nizcala hai yaha, ki isameM loka ke sAre zarIroM kI gati-vidhi ekAgra AzleSita anubhava hotI hai| antarbhAvita / itanA nirAvega aura vItarAga hai yaha, itanA sampUrNa samarpita, ki isa meM sAre hI tana manoM kI sUkSmatama samvedanAeM anAyAsa spandita haiM, samvedita haiM, saMsparzita haiN| isI se mAno yaha eka zveta agni kA staMbhita puMja ho kara raha gayA hai| isameM se bhItara ke jyotirmaya zarIra ekaeka kara khulate dikhAyI par3ate haiN|"rkt jyoti ke koza meM se, zveta jyoti kA zarIra prakaTa ho AyA hai| usa zveta jyoti kI bhAsvara kaMcukI meM se kRSNa jyoti-puruSa AvirbhUta ho gaye haiN| ___ aura sahasA hI unake hRdaya-kamala meM se eka nIlezvarI jyotir-kanyA uTha AyI hai| apane urojoM ke bIca ke antarikSa meM vaha adhara dhAraNa kiye hai, mere isa prastuta tejala zarIra ko| arddhapAradarza rozanI kA eka nIhArila pardA sahasA hI haTa gyaa| aura bhItara tarala sphaTika ke AbhA-koza meM, apane zarIra ke eka-eka avayava, usakI kriyAoM aura pariNamanoM ko pratyakSa dekha rahA huuN| parAga-sI majjA ke AvaraNa meM atyanta lacIlI asthiyoM kA larajatA-sA DhA~cA / asaMkhya zAkhA-jAla vAle snAyu-maNDala kI zirAoM meM avirala pravAhita rakta : dUdha kI anagina nadiyoM kA dhaaraa-sNgm| apanI bahattara hajAra nAr3iyoM meM spandita zvAsa kI sArI gatividhiyoM ko pratyakSa dekha rahA huuN| hRdaya ke padmAbha antapuraH meM, nIla jyotirmaya zaiyA meM ramaNa karatI apanI AtmA kI satI sundarI ko pratyakSa sAkSAt kara rahA huuN| sammukha hote hI tatkAla usakI sunagnA prabhA meM utsaMgita ho gayA huuN|" ___ "eka mahAvIrya kA hillolana / aura usake pravAha meM prabalaM oja se apane tejasika mAMsa-bandha kA bhedana kara, maiM trikAlIna itihAsa kI nAr3iyoM meM saMcarita ho gayA huuN| usake sAre saMgharSoM, yuddhoM, saMtrAsoM, raktapAtoM ke bIca aDiga pairoM cala rahA huuN| aura merI zirAoM kI raktANu-dIvAroM meM sArA itihAsa-pravAha eka jIvanta zilpa kI taraha utkINita hai| aise durdAnta teja kA visphoTa merI dhamaniyoM meM samhalA huA hai, ki cAhU~ to isI kSaNa samasta vikRta aura visamvAdI itihAsa ko dhvasta kara sakatA huuN| aura nimiSa mAtra meM, eka susamvAdI nUtana vizva ko abhI aura yahA~ upasthita kara sakatA huuN|

Page #373
363 "lekina nahIM, arhat tatvoM ke svataMtra svabhAva kA apaharaNa nahIM krte| unhoMne hara tatva ko itanA svataMtra rakkhA hai, ki vaha apane Apa meM eka pUrA vizva hai, itihAsa hai| ve sAre vizva aura itihAsa Apasa meM TakarAte haiN| graha-tArA maNDaloM meM gharSaNa hotA hai| sRSTi meM pralaya aura udaya kA nATaka aTUTa calatA hai| lekina jinezvara usameM hastakSepa nahIM krte| jinezvaroM kA ananta vIrya, apane Atma ke jyotiliMga meM avikampa, apane hI svarUpa meM pariNamanazIla rahatA hai| ve akSara puruSa kabhI kSarita nahIM hote| unakA akSarita retas apanI avikampatA meM se hI zakti ke aise vidyutsamudra pravAhita karatA hai, ki ve binA kisI saMkalpa yA kartatva ke bhI samagra sattA meM khAmoza atikrAntiyA~ aura rUpAntara upasthita kara dete haiN| arhatoM ke usa ananta vIrya ko maiM apane hRdaya ke padma meM niSkampa pArada kI taraha dhAraNa kiye huuN| "vastuoM kA darzana merA ananta ho gayA hai| A~kha se pare, hara vastu ko usake ananta pariNamana meM dekha rahA huuN| usake sAre dravya-paryAyoM ko ekAgra yahA~ abhI isa sAmane ke ujAle kI taraha dekha rahA huuN| aura dekhate hI dekhate, bhItara tamAma cIjeM pUrampUra rozana ho uThatI haiN| hara cIz2a apane mUla meM rozanI ke eka bIja yA taraMga kI taraha sAmane AtI haiM / aura merI cetanA ke sphaTika jala meM jaise nAnA raMgima maNiyoM kI maMjUSA khula par3atI hai / maNiyAM, jo jIvana ke UrjA-bIja haiN| __ "dekhanA aura jAnanA eka yugapat kriyA meM ho rahA hai| sUryodaya ho rahA hai, aura usI kSaNa usake virAT razmi-bimba lokAloka para vyApa rahe haiN| ananta jJAna ke isa vAtAyana para saundarya, prIti aura Ananda kA pUrNa sambhoga cala rahA hai| kAvya aura kalAe~ mere bhItara se nAnA raMgI rozanI ke phauvAroM se phUTa rahe haiN| pratyakSa hai merA yaha dekhanA, jAnanA, milnaa| zarIra ke durga aura indriyoM kI khir3akiyoM kA yaha kAyala nahIM / sArI indriyA~ eka hI maNDalAkAra vAtAyana meM khula gayI haiN| eka hI jyotirmaya netra meM ekIbhUta ho gayI haiN| rUpa hI raMga ho gayA hai, raMga hI sparza ho gayA hai, sparza hI gandha ho gayA hai, gandha hI dhvani ho gayI hai| aura dhvani hI merA cidAkAza ho kara chA gayI hai| jisameM maiM unmukta haMsa kI taraha tairatA rahatA huuN| vastu ke aura mere bIca ke samvAda aura sampreSaNa ke liye koI mAdhyama aMba z2arUrI nahIM raha gayA hai / apane nagna jJAna zarIra se, vastu ke nagna pariNamana ke sAtha sIdhA TakarA rahA huuN| samudra apane Apa ko hI taira kara pAra

Page #374
364 kara rahA hai| billaura kI bhItarI tahoM meM raMgoM kA tUfAna uThA hai| billaura apane haz2AroM pahaluoM meM una raMgoM ko camakA kara bhI, apanI ujjvalatA meM sadA ku~vArI hai| do pUrNa nagnatAoM kA yaha eka vItarAga, pUrNarAga parirambhaNa hai| __ isa paripUrNa saMcetanA aura saMvedanA meM nirAkula sukha kI kaisI zAnta nadI avirala baha rahI hai| isa nadI ke taTa para vicarate anubhava ho rahA hai, ki merI indriyA~ hI svayam apanA viSaya bana gaI haiN| ve svayam hI apanA Atma-sambhoga ho uThI haiN| merA sparza svayam hI apanA agAdha mArdava ho gayA hai| maiM Apa apane meM hI anAyAsa eka athAha komalatA meM lAlita huuN| merI rasanA meM hI amRta ke sote plavita ho rahe haiN| merI nAsikA svayam malayAcala kA candanabana ho gayI haiM / bherI A~kheM hI raMga, rUpa, lAvaNya saundarya, yauvana kA apAra samudra ho gayI haiN| mere kAna hI svayam nikhila ke nAr3I-maNDala kI vINA bana kara jhaMkRta haiN| apanI suSumnA ke laya-kakSa meM ananta ramaNI ke utsaMga meM nirAkula bhAva se sukhAsIna huuN| mahAsukha-kamala kI isa zaiyA para, tInoM kAla aura tInoM loka ke sAre saundaryoM meM maiM nirbAdha vilAsa kara rahA huuN| ___ isa vilAsa-kakSa meM apane anAdi ananta kAla-vyApI sAre hI jIvanoM aura janmAntaroM ko eka sAtha hI, sampUrNa jI rahA huuN| abhI aura yahA~ / " pururavA bhIla ke kandhe para kAlI abhI aura yahA~ jhUla rahI hai| tIrthaMkara RSabhadeva kA samavazaraNa abhI aura yahA~ mujha meM jAjvalyamAna hai| marIci ke Age namita yogIzvara bharata cakravartI kA samvAda abhI aura yahA~ mere sAtha sIdhA cala rahA hai| tripRSTha vAsudeva aura priyamitra cakravartI ke sAtha abhI aura yahA~ apanI isa sphaTika kI chata para bilasa rahA huuN| siMhagiri parvata ke gaMgA-taTavartI kAntAra meM vaha khUkhvAra aSTApada, abhI isI kSaNa mere bhItara anukampA se bhara AyA hai| aura usakI karuNA, muditA, maitrI ko * akSuNNa abhI, yahA~ anubhava kara rahA huuN| acyuta svarga ke apsarA kAnanoM meM, acyutendra maiM, abhI aura yahA~ lAvaNya ke saroveroM meM Alor3ita ho rahA huuN|... ___..aura devAnandA, RSabha, trizalA, siddhArtha, vindhyAcala kI kAlI, zAlavana kI zAlinI, sAre samakAlIna vizva kI canindA sundariyA~, candanA, celanA, ceTaka bApU, AmrapAlI, vaizAlI kA jana-jana, vainateyI, somezvara, mujha se sampakita hara sattA, merI yAtrAoM ke sAre pradeza, saba mere sAtha abhI aura yahA~, ghara para haiN| maiM unake sAtha pratipala ghara para hU~ / nitya unake sAtha upasthita huuN| durdAnta samudroM ke pravAhoM para , AdhI rAtoM jUjhatI anveSaka mallAhoM kI nAvoM para, maiM pAla bana kara tanA huA huuN| jJAta-ajJAta sArI hI pRthviyoM aura lokoM ke, sAre hI dvIpoM aura dezoM ke, dUra-dUra camakate dIyoM

Page #375
365 vAle gharoM meM, vahA~ ke sAre nara-nArIjana ke sAtha, hara kSaNa ghara para huuN| unake sAre sukha-duHkhoM, viraha-vyathAoM, kaSTa-santApoM meM, unake sAtha maiM abhI aura yahA~ ghara para huuN| unake sAre hI praNayAlApoM meM, maiM isI kSaNa sahabhAgI huuN| unake sAre hI virahAghAtoM meM maiM abhI aura yahA~ spandita huuN| aura phira bhI isI eka kAlANu meM maiM apane sphaTika ke antaHpura meM, apanI sukha-seja meM akSuNNa nirAvega zayita huuN| viraha, viSAda, avasAda, vyAkulatA ke vartula vilupta ho gaye haiN| mere isa nija kakSa meM merI zaiyA ke sirahAne sadA sUryodayaM ho rahA hai, aura mere pAyatAne sadA sUryAsta ho rahA hai| udaya aura avasAna ke takiyoM para eka sAtha sara DhAle leTA huuN| virAT pralaya kI vINA para udaya kA vasantarAga saMgIta nirantara baja rahA hai| ___ dUriyA~ apane choroM para sirA kara, mere pAsa A khar3I huI haiN| dizAe~ aMgUroM sI eka hIre kI taztarI meM mere sAmane par3I haiN| maiM apane kSIra sAgara kI zeSa-zaiyA para nirAkula zayita huuN| merI AtmA kI kamalA mere pairoM ko godI liye unheM sahalA rahI hai| usakI saMvedanAkulatA ke A~sU mere hRdaya para Dhalaka Aye haiM / aura sakala carAcara meM usI kSaNa maiM parama sambhoga meM lIna ho gayA huuN| "sahasA hI merA AtmalIna kAma, eka mahAkAma meM hillolita ho utthaa| vizva kI asaMkhya AtmAoM kI karuNA majhe khIMca rahI hai| samasta nabhacara, jalacara, thalacara loka mujhe pukAra rahA hai| mahAkAla kI ajJAta samudravelA meM, nUtana sRjana kI sAraMgI dhrupada kA AlApa le rahI hai| aura dekha rahA hU~ ki vizuddha sattA ke ananta samudra ke bhItara acAnaka eka gabhIra kampana huaa| usakI zAnta. sataha para apUrva navya pariNamana kI UrmiyA~ bemAlUma sarasarAne lgiiN| ...aura lo, vaha mahAsamudra svayam mUrtimAna hokara, apane niHsIma prasAra para cala rahA hai| prakRti virAT puruSa ko apane vakSa para vahana kara rahI hai| vipulAcala ke zikhara para se, eka campaI puNDarIka kI kumArI pRthvI usake samakSa taira AyI hai| aura samudra-puruSa ne sahaja hI usa para paga dhAraNa kiyA /

Page #376
mahInoM kI mahAsamAdhi se bAhara nikala AyA huuN| jIvanmukta ho kara, jIvana-jagata meM sadA ke liye lauTa AyA huuN| sAr3he bAraha varSa-vyApI mahAmauna, vANI ke jharanoM meM phUTa par3ane ko kasamasA uThA hai| samvAda aura sampreSaNa ke naye AkAza digantoM meM khula rahe haiN| trailokyezvara kA anahada nAda antarikSoM meM viplava ke ghoSa kI taraha ghaharA rahA hai| sakala carAcara kA vallabha, unake pAsa ghara lauTa AyA hai| 00

Page #377
pariziSTa nivedana hai ki isa pariziSTa ke antargata jo 'nirdezikA' prastuta hai, use pAThakamitra pustaka samApta kara lene ke uparAnta hI par3he / kRti aura pAThaka ke bIca vaha na Aye, yaha vAMchIya hai / isa 'nirdezikA' meM una sAre prasthAna-binduoM, racanAtmaka samasyAoM aura muddoM ko spaSTa kara diyA gayA hai, jinheM lekara bhrAnti ho sakatI hai, prazna aura vivAda uTha sakate haiN|

Page #378

Page #379
nirdezikA 'anuttara yogI ke prathama khaNDa meM mahAvIra kI pUrva janmAntara-kathA aura garmAdhAna se lagAkara, tIsa varSa kI vaya meM unake gRha-tyAga taka kI kathA ko racA gayA hai| AgamoM aura digambara graMthoM meM mahAvIra ke isa kumAra kAla kI koI khAsa ghaTanAe~ nahIM miltii| jo virala tathya milate haiM, unakA upayoga kara liyA gayA hai| ...para tIsa varSa kI vaya taka apane samaya kA yaha sUrya kase jiyA, isakA uttara diye binA upanyAsa sambhava hI nahIM ho sakatA thaa| phalataH upalabdha aitihAsika sAmagrI aura veda-upaniSad tathA bauddha AgamoM meM maiMne usa kAla-khaNDa aura kAla-cetanA kA anveSaNa kiyaa| natIje meM mahAvIra kA nijI pArivArika pariveza, usameM ghaTita aneka sambandha-sUtra aura pAtra tathA usa kAla kI dhArmika, sAmAjika, Arthika, rAjanItika sthiti sunizcita rUpa se mujhe upalabdha ho gii| aura usake bIca kendrIya sumeru-puruSa ke rUpa meM maiMne jaba mahAvIra kA sAkSAtkAra karanA cAhA, to unakA kA eka jIvanta sarvAMgINa vyaktitva apanI sampUrNa sambhAvanAoM ke sAtha mere kalpa-vAtAyana para jhalahalanta ubharatA aayaa| phalataH sRjana ke stara para unakI punarracanA mere liye sahaja sambhava ho gii| dhyAtavya hai ki isa sRjanAtmaka punarracanA meM paryApta mAtrA meM anAyAsa vipula anveSaNa, udghATana, AviSkAra aura anusandhAna kArya bhI ho sakA hai| kyoMki yaha punarracanA kalpadarzI hote hue bhI, upalabdha tathyoM aura unakI saMkalanA para AdhArita hai, aura usa kAla-khaNDa kI maulika itihAsa-dArzanika vyAkhyA se Alokita hai| isa taraha binA kisI irAde ke hI, isa graMtha ke tInoM khaNDa eka nirAle zodha-graMtha aura itihAsa-dArzanika adhyayana ke rUpa meM bhI mujhe upalabdha ho gye| 0 0 0 prastuta dvitIya khaNDa meM, gRha-tyAga ke uparAnta zramaNa varddhamAna kA sAr3hebAraha varSa vyApI sAdhanA-tapasyA kAla samAhita hai| aura antataH usakI phalazruti ke rUpa meM kevalajJAna ko upalabdha ho kara, mahAvIra ke arhat hone taka kI kathA svabhAvataH isa khaNDa kI viSaya-vastu nirmita karatI hai| tapasyAkAla meM Aramma se anta taka yaha durdAnta zramaNa aneka prAkRtika, mAnuSika, daivika AkrAntiyoM, bAdhAoM aura agni-parIkSAoM se gujaratA hai / jaina paribhASA meM ina parIkSAoM ko upasarga kahA jAtA hai| ina upasargoM se gujarate hue zramaNa prakRti, manuSya tathA parokSa devI vizvoM meM vyApta una tamAma AdhArabhUta bAdhAoM aura

Page #380
avarodhoM se TakarAtA hai, jinase guz2ara kara, jUjha kara aura jinheM jaya karake hI sampUrNa jIvanmukti sambhava ho sakatI hai| ___ yaha eka taraha se mohamayI prakRti kI AbaddhakAriNI zaktiyoM ke sAtha, mokSArthI puruSa ke carama yuddha kI bhUmikA hai| isa yuddha ke daurAna zramaNa prakRti, pazu-jagata, manuja, danuja aura deva-jagatiyoM kI sArI bandhaka aura bAdhaka zaktiyoM se sIdhA TakarAtA hai| sattA, astitva aura jagata-jIvana ke sAre sambhavita dabAvoM aura tanAvoM ko tAtvika stara para ekAgra aura puMjIbhUta rUpa se jhelatA hai| jar3a andhakAra kI ina AtmaghAtI zaktiyoM kA vaha pratirodhI pratikAra nahIM krtaa| inheM akampa bhAva se sampUrNa sahakara, jhelakara, apanI AtmA ke svabhAvagata asIma avakAza meM inheM mukta bhAva se praviSTa hone dekara, unheM cukA detA hai, vyartha kara detA hai| aura isa taraha sAnta ko cukA kara, vaha ananta zAzvata puruSa ho jAtA hai| kSaya, roga, jarA aura mRtyu ko jItakara mRtyujayI ho jAtA hai, jo ki vastutaH usakI Atmika virAsata hai| ___ isa yuddha-prakriyA meM, jo prahAra usa para Ate haiM, jo TakkareM use kSata-vikSata karatI haiM, ve usake astitva meM bAhara se saMskArita, aneka pUrvajanmoM se usakI avacetanA meM anubaMdhita, bAdhaka-bandhaka zaktiyoM ko dhvasta kara detI haiN| tamasa kI ina jar3azaktiyoM ko hI jaina draSTAoM ne karma-bandhana kahA hai, aura tapasyA dvArA inake nirasana ko hI unhoMne karmanAza yA karma kI nirjarA kahA hai| niHzeSa karma-nirjarA ke liye mahAvIra jAna-bUjhakara bhI aneka bAra khataroM aura saMkaToM meM utre| isa taraha unakI AtmA ne vizva kI tamAma sattAoM ke sAtha eka nirbAdha sAyujya-sambandha sthApita kiyA / aNu-aNu ke sAtha ve yogIzvara parama prema meM saMyukta ho gaye / taba jJAnAvaraNI, darzanAvaraNI, mohanI aura antarAya karmoM ke ve AvaraNa anAyAsa vidIrNa ho gaye, jinase AvRta hone ke kAraNa AtmA vizvajagata kA sahI jJAna-darzana nahIM kara pAtI, usake sAtha pUrNa saMvAditA meM nahIM jI pAtI / kyoMki ukta cAra karma AtmA ko samyak-darzana prakRti ke ghAtaka hote haiN| ina karmoM kA niHzeSa nAza hone para anAyAsa hI AtmA ke bhItara pracchanna kevala-jJAna kA sUrya prakaTa ho uThatA hai, aura usase lokAloka prakAzita ho uThate haiN| isa kaivalya upalabdhi taka pahu~ca kara hI, dvitIya khaNDa samApta ho jAtA hai| digambara graMthoM meM mahAvIra carita nahIM vat hai, so unake tapasyAkAla ke bhI koI vRtta yA tathya unameM nahIM milte| para zvetAmbara kahe jAte AgamoM meM mahAvIra ke tapasyAkAla kA kar3Ibaddha sAMgopAMga vivaraNa milatA hai| pravajyA ke agale hI dina se, ThIka kevalajJAna prApti kI pUrva sandhyA taka unake sAdhanA-mArga meM jitane vighna-upasarga Aye, athavA jina vipattiyoM kA unhoMne sanmukha jAkara varaNa kiyA, una saba ke pUre byore AgamoM meM milate haiN| ina upasargoM meM, unakI utkaTatA kI mAtrA ke anupAta meM hone vAlI viziSTa karma-nirjarA aura tajjanya viziSTa zreNI

Page #381
kI jJAnopalabdhi kA ullekha bhI milatA hai| isase mahAvIra ke Atma-vikAsa kI anukramika prakriyA ke kucha caraNoM ko rekhAMkita karane kI suvidhA ho jAtI hai / sAtha hI usa prakriyA kA eka anukramika manovaijJAnika adhyayana bhI sRjana ke stara para sambhava ho jAtA hai| jo maiMne yathAsAdhya kiyA hai| AgamoM meM upalabdha tapasyA ke ina sampUrNa byoroM kA maiMne upayoga kara liyA hai / usake jariye eka kathA-zrRMkhalA upalabdha ho sakI hai| AgamoM kI upasargakathAe~ mI prathama dRSTi meM kisI sarjaka ko AkRSTa nahIM kara sktiiN| kyoMki inameM adhikAMza meM atiprAkRtikaM tatvoM kI bharamAra hai / so koI hRdaya-sparzI mAnavIya samvedanA unase nahIM nipaja paatii| para jaba racanA ke stara para maiM ina upasargakathAoM ko kholane lagA, to anAyAsa hI ve gahare bhAvoM aura arthoM se Alokita ho uThIM / anveSaNa kI kaI nayI rAheM bhI unameM khulatI dikhAyI pdd'iiN| aura apanI racanA meM yathAvakAza una anveSaNoM ko maiMne eka hada taka sampanna kiyA hai / ina upasargoM meM kaI aise bhI haiM, jinameM mahAvIra ke kaI pUrva janmoM ke bairI, avasara pA kara unase pratizodha lene ke liye, unheM nAnA prakAra se pIr3ita karate haiM / manovaijJAnika anveSaNa kI dRSTi se maiMne ina janmAntarINa kathAoM kA bhI upayoga kiyA hai| unheM manovizleSaNa kI rAha punarvyAkhyAyita kiyA hai / isa taraha mujhe racanA ke eka sarvathA naye stara ko khoja kara usa para kAma karane kA sukha bhI milA / kathya aura zilpa donoM hI meM, isa kAraNa, eka nayA prayoga sambhava ho sakA / atiprAkRtika phinaoNmanana ko maiM Arambha se hI svIkAra karake calA hU~ / prathamataH isaliye ki unako TAla dene para, mahAvIra kI AdhyAtmika sAmarthya kI vaha U~cAI aura imeja upalabdha nahIM ho pAtI, jo jyotirdharoM kI zreNI meM unheM eka viziSTa iyattA aura asmitA pradAna karatI hai / una atiprAkRtika tatvoM ke sAtha hI unake vyaktitva kI vaha bhavyatA aura uttuMgatA ubhara pAtI hai, jisake prabhAmaMDala se valayita hokara ve loka-hRdaya aura kAvya meM pratiSThita haiM / dUsare, atiprAkRtika phinaoNmanana ko TAlanA Aja ke TU-DeTa jJAna-vijJAna ke pariprekSya meM avaijJAnika lagatA hai| kyoMki bhautika vijJAna aura manovijJAna ke kSetroM meM Aja atiprAkRtika ghaTanAe~ aura atIndriya anubhava, vaijJAnika khoja aura adhyayana ke viSaya bana cuke haiN| isa hada taka ki antazcetanA ke mUla utsa kI talAza meM, ina atiprAkRtika tatvoM ko anivArya 'DATA' ke rUpa meM grahaNa kiyA jAtA hai / aura bhItarI antarikSa tathA manuSya ke carama 'Atma' kI yaha khoja, Aja itanI mahatvapUrNa ho gaI hai, ki manovaijJAnika isI anveSaNa kI rAha eka sarvathA rUpAntarita naye manuSya kI sambhAvanA ko talAza rahe haiM / upasargoM meM Ane vAlI atiprAkRtika madAlatoM kA maiMne bhI anveSaNAtmaka upayoga hI apanI racanA meM, apane DhaMga se kiyA hai /

Page #382
ina pUrva bhavAntara-kathAoM ko ulaTate-palaTate vakta, mujhe bArabAra yaha sacoTa sUjhA ki manovaijJAnika khoja kI bhArI sampadA aura sambhAvanA inameM nihita hai| jaina purANa bhavAntara-kathAoM se bhare par3e haiN| ve kaI bAra bar3I Uba bhI paidA karatI haiN| lekina jaba unake prayojana ko samajhane ke khyAla se maiMne unameM gotA lagAyA, to mujhe spaSTa pratIti huI ki AtmotthAna kI janmAntara-gAmI yAtrA meM ye bhava-kathAe~ bar3I mArmika aura sArthaka kar3iyoM ke rUpa meM hAtha AtI haiN| mere vicAra se jaina kathA-sAhitya kA yaha pakSa, manovijJAna ke khojiyoM ke liye eka amUlya khajAnA siddha ho sakatA hai / sAr3he bAraha varSa ke isa dIrgha tapasyA kAla meM mahAvIra akhaNDa mauna dhAraNa kiye rahate haiN| prayojana yaha hai, ki aba ve pUrNajJAna kI khoja meM haiM, aura ajJAna yA adhUre jJAna se ni:sRta vaikalpika vANI bolane meM aba unakI ruci nahIM hai / lekina isa akSuNNa mauna meM vicarate hue bhI ve jIvana-jagata se asampRkta aura vimukha nahIM haiM, palAyita nahIM haiM / ve niSkriya nahIM haiN| pariveza meM hone vAle sAre mukAbiloM aura ghaTanAoM kA ve pUrNa saMcetA se sAmanA karate haiN| apanI Atmika kriyA dvArA ve unakA sacoTa uttara dete haiN| racanA meM prazna prastuta thA, ki akhaNDa mauna mahAvIra kI una Atmika aura bhAvika pratikriyAoM ko abhivyakti kaise dI jaaye| isake liye maiMne do yuktiyoM kA AviSkAra kiyaa| eka to yaha ki ve dRSTi, iMgita, sparza yA muskAna mAtra se bahuta kucha kaha dete haiN| dUsare unakI bhItarI AvAja se Ane vAlA vaha uttara, kabhI pAsa ke jhAr3a se, kabhI alakSya antarikSa se, kabhI kisI sammukha mUrti yA gumbad meM se sunAI par3a jAtA hai| yAnI yaha ki mahAvIra kI Atmika UrjA meM se vaha uttara itanA ekAgra aura avikalpa hokara phUTatA hai, ki vaha pariveza kI kisI bhI vastu se TakarAkara, usake mAdhyama se pratidhvanita ho uThatA hai| maiMne mahasUsa kiyA ki isa zilpagata upAya-AviSkAra se eka vilakSaNa kalA-saundarya prakaTa huA hai, eka anokhA kalA-vilAsa sambhava huA hai| racanA meM eka aura nayA prayoga karane kA maukA milA / mahAvIra ke uttara ko abhivyakti dene ke liye eka aura bhI upAya-yojanA maiMne kI hai| parivezagata ghaTanA yA vyakti se mukAbile ke kSaNa meM, unake bhItara eka ekAlApa (monolaoNga) sA cala par3atA hai| jisameM sandarbhagata kathA-sUtra bhI ubharate haiM, aura aneka pUrvApara pariprekSyoM meM, ve prastuta sthiti para bahuta hI maulika rozanI DAlate haiM, jo unake kSaNa-kSaNa meM ghaTita ho rahe Atma-vikAsa ko vyakta karatI hai| ina ekAlApoM meM ve kabhI-kabhI prastuta ghaTanA yA vyakti ko sambodhana karake mI, bahuta kucha udghATita karate haiM, anAvarita karate haiN| bAhya

Page #383
padArthoM se pratidhvanita honevAle uttara, aura Atma-sambodhana tathA anya-sambodhana ke rUpa meM phUTanevAlI bhAva-vANI, donoM hI mahAvIra kI Atma-sAkSAtkAra kI prakriyA meM yogadAna karate haiN| yAnI ina uttaroM se ve svayam bhI adhika prabuddha, adhika Atmonnata hote haiN| do khaNDa samApta kara lene para aba samajha meM AtA hai, ki isa upanyAsa meM Atma-kathA zailI apanA kara, kyA viziSTa upalabdha ho sakA hai| mahAvIra mUlataH eka Atma-puruSa haiM / aura yaha Atma-puruSa hI apane vistAra meM vizva-puruSa ho jAtA hai| Atma-puruSa kA antarloka Atma-kathA ke mAdhyama se hI samIcIna aura samagra abhivyakti pA sakatA hai| paurANika kathA ke punarsarjana meM merA lakSya purAkathA ko kevala Adhunika paridhAna denA yA navakalA-deha pradAna karanA nahIM hai, usameM merA sAdhya Atma-puruSa kI manovaijJAnika talAza hai| isakI khAtira usakI atala-vitala avacetanika gaharAiyoM meM DUbanA anivArya hai| yAnI aMgrejI meM jise 'inara proba eNDa eksplorezana' kahA jAtA hai, vahI mere sRjana kI khAsa fitarata hai| isa mAne meM bhArata kI vibhinna bhASAoM meM vartamAna meM likhe gaye paurANika upanyAsoM se merA paurANika upanyAsa sarvathA alaga par3a jAtA hai| munzI ke lokapriya paurANikoM se maiM isI artha meM sarvathA bhinna aura dUsare chora para huuN| yAnI merI kathA sataha gata ghaTanAoM para samApta nahIM, usakI vyApti kaoNsmika hai, aura vaha gaharAiyoM meM utara kara hI, apanI abhISTa tRpti pA sakatI hai| kisI pUrva vicArita yojanA yA irAde se maiMne Atma-kathA zailI ko nahIM apnaayaa| vaha mAno svayam mahAvIra ne hI mujhe dI hai, ki 'maiM isI rAha kalA meM samIcIna rUpa se utara skuuNgaa|' cUMki mahAvIra AtmakathA kI rAha vyakta hote haiM, isI se unase sambaddha anya pAtra bhI anAyAsa Atma-kathana dvArA apane ko. vyakta karate dikhAI par3a jAte haiN| kyoMki mahAvIra aura unake bIca, kathA kI samagratA meM eka aMgAgI sambandha hai| lekina mahAvIra cUMki svabhAva se hI janmajAta draSTA aura yogI haiM, isa kAraNa ve kevala uttama puruSa hokara nahIM raha sakate, samAnAntara rUpa se ve apanI hI nigAha meM eka anya puruSa ke rUpa meM bhI ghaTita hote haiN| yAnI ve 'maiM' aura 'vaha' ke rUpa meM saMyukta bhAva se ghaTita hote haiN| eka hI kSaNa meM 'maiM' acAnaka 'vaha' banakara unake sAmane A jAtA hai| arthAt usa mahAyogI meM aisI cetanA sakriya hai, ki vaha AvazyakatAnusAra, prasaMgataH apane ko apane se alaga karake sAmane khar3A bhI dekha sakatA hai| masalana eka sthala para mahAvIra kAyotsarga meM avicala khar3e haiM, aura ve svayama mahAvIra kI mUrti yA vyaktitva ko sAmane se gujaratA dekhate haiN| aura svayam hI usakI bhavya vyaktimattA kA lAkSaNika sAkSAtkAra karate haiN| aura taba svayam uttama puruSa draSTA mAtra raha kara, apane hI vyaktitva ko dRzya aura jJeya banAkara, dekhate-jAnate haiM / use apane jJAna-darzana

Page #384
kA viSaya banAkara, usakA vItarAga bhAva se sAkSAtkAra karate haiM, aura usakA sAkSya apane hI zabdoM meM prastuta karate haiN| apane hI Apako apane se alaga kara dekhanA, pahacAnanA, jAte-Ate, vartana karate, vicAra karate, karma karate dekhanA, Atma-darzana kI sAdhanA kA atyanta pariNAmakArI manovaijJAnika sAdhana aura mAdhyama hai| yogI mahAvIra kI cetanA meM baddhamUla isa uttama puruSa aura anya-puruSa kI sahagAmitA kA isa racanA meM atyanta kalAtmaka DhaMga se upayoga kara liyA gayA hai| isa prayoga meM apane hI sAtha apane saMvAda aura lIlA kI eka ajIba khUbasUrata nATakIya sthiti utpanna hotI hai| aura vaha mahAvIra ke vyaktitva ko lAkSaNika sAmarthya aura draSTA svarUpa ko racane meM gaharA yogadAna karatI hai| isa taraha sRjana aura zilpa kA eka aura bhI nayA prayoga. anajAne, anasoce hI ho gyaa| mAno ki racanA maiM nahIM kara rahA, mere bhItara se koI aura kara rahA hai| 0 0 0 jinezvarI sAdhanA meM kAyotsarga, dhyAna kI eka vilakSaNa paddhati hai| usameM sAdhaka khaDgAsana meM sthira khar3A ho kara, sannaddha bhAva se Atmastha hone kA mahA puruSArtha karatA hai / arthAt dehabhAvI 'maiM' ko utsarga karake, AtmabhAvI 'maiM' meM unnIta hotA hai| yAnI vaha apane Atma-svarUpa aura AtmabhAva meM adhikAdhika tanmaya hotA huA, eka manAtIta draSTAbhAva kI bhUmi meM avatIrNa hotA hai / taba vaha jagata-jIvana ko nayI A~khoM se dekhatA hai, vaha vyaktiyoM aura vastuoM ke ArapAra dekhatA hai| deza-kAla meM ghaTita, AtmAoM ke kaI janmAntaroM ke pariprakSya taka meM jhAMka letA hai| isa prakAra dhyAna meM vahaM samasta sattA ke sAtha eka Antarika 'DAyalaoNga' aura sambandha meM ghaTita hotA hai| kAryotsarga kI yaha merI apanI manovaijJAnika samajha aura vyAkhyA hai| ___ rUr3ha jaina zAstroM meM isa Atma-dhyAna ko moTe taura para eka bauddhika Atmacintan kA rUpa de diyA gayA hai| yAnI ki sAdhaka, zAstroM meM kucha khAsa lAkSaNika zabdoM meM varNita AtmA ke svarUpa kA cintavana karatA calA jAye / isameM eka jar3a punarAvRtti aura boriyata kA ahasAsa hotA hai / kSaNa-kSaNa-navyamAna AtmA kA cintan raTeraTAye zabdoM aura doharAvoM meM kaise ho sakatA hai| usameM eka manovaijJAnika Atma-maMthana aura AtmAnveSaNa anivArya hai| svabhAva se hI sarvataMtra:svataMtra AtmA kisI zAstrIya dAyare aura padAvalI meM apane ko kaise paribhASita kara sakatI hai| - dUsare yaha bhI hai, ki apane vAstavika pariveza se kaTa kara saccA AtmadhyAna kaise sambhava hai| Atma sarva ke bIca ghaTita raha kara, sarva ke sandarbha meM hI, apanI sahI pahacAna aura pUrA artha prApta kara sakatA hai / Atma kA asalI

Page #385
svarUpa zuddha pAradarzI jJAna hai| jJeya ke abhAva meM jJAna kI kyA sArthakatA, kyA pahacAna ? jJAtA, jJAna aura jJeya ke avinAbhAvI sambandha meM hI saccI Atmasthiti upalabdha ho sakatI hai / gaharAI se socane para samajha meM AtA hai, ki yaha eka manovaijJAnika sacAI hai / bagaira kisI irAde ke hI, racanA ke stara para jaba maiMne mahAvIra ke kAyotsarga ko sAkSAt kiyA, to vaha svataHsphUrta racanA kI rAha isI rUpa meM utsRjita hotA calA gyaa| yAnI mere racanAkAra ke svataMtra avabodhana meM mahAvIra kI dhyAna-cetanA isI rUpa meM khulatI calI gii| ve kAyotsarga meM Atmastha hone ke liye, alaga se koI Atma-cintana nahIM krte| ve pariveza se asampRkta aura kaTe hue nahIM haiN| balki sarva ke prati unakA dhyAnastha Atma adhikatama saMcetana aura unmukha ho rahatA hai| unakA dhyAna eka virAT jJAnAtmaka prakriyA hai / jJeya ke sAtha ve jJAnAtmaka bhAva se gahare tAdAtmya meM utara kara, apane jJAtA svarUpa meM adhika upalabdha aura unnata hote haiN| isa taraha hama dekhate haiM ki racanA ke stara para mahAvIra mujhe anAyAsa jvalanta vAstavikatA ke rUpa meM upalabdha ho gaye haiN| unakA dhyAna bhI alagAva nahIM, jagata-jIvana ke sAtha gahiratama ulajhAva hai, 'invalvameMTa' hai| balki yoM kaheM ki maulika 'invelvameNTa' meM utarane ke liye dhyAna dvArA Atmastha honA jarUrI ho jAtA hai| taba Atma hI anAyAsa sarva hotA calA jAtA hai / AtmadhyAna hI sarvadhyAna ho jAtA hai, aura sarvadhyAna hI AtmadhyAna ho jAtA hai| mere khyAla se dhyAna kI manovaijJAnika asaliyata yahI hai| taba mahAvIra yA usa koTi ke kisI bhI yogIzvara kA dhyAna anyathA kaise ho sakatA hai| zAstroM kI lAkSaNika bhASA meM zabdoM ke bIca nihita yahI Azaya kaI bAra jhalaka mAra jAtA hai| racanA meM cUMki hama bhAva aura saMvedanA kI bhUmi para kAma karate haiM, isI se usameM cIjoM ke nigUDha satya anajAne hI udghATita ho jAte haiN| isa mAne meM mahAvIra ke kAyotsarga ko racane meM, jaise yoga kA eka navIna aindrika anubhavagamya prayoga karane kA suyoga bhI mujhe milaa| jJAna ko saMvedana meM, aura saMvedana ko jJAna meM pariNata karane kI kaI naI manastAtvika kuMjiyAM bhI hAsila huiiN| mahAvIra kA dhyAna mujhe eka mahAna aura carama karma-zakti ke rUpa meM bhI sAkSAtkRta huaa| cAroM tarafa se kaTa kara apane meM banda, dvIpita hone vAlI dhyAnamudrA mere sAmane hI nahIM aayii| mahAzramaNa mahAvIra ke bhItara unakI durdamya jJAnotsukatA hI, eka pracaNDa kriyAzakti bana kara saMcArita hai| aura ve sAmane Ane vAle hara vyakti yA vastu -sthiti ke sAtha eka prabala saMghAta aura uddhAta ke rUpa meM 'invalva' hote haiN| unase sampRkta hone vAlI hara AtmA meM unakI jJAnorjA kA itanA pAragAmI AghAta hotA hai, unakI prIti kA aisA acUka

Page #386
plavana hotA hai, ki vipala mAtra meM hI usakI cetanA rUpAntarita ho jAtI hai / zUlapANi yakSa, caNDa kauzika, saMgama deva, camarendra, kaTapUtanA tathA anya aneka unake pIr3aka mAnavoM aura rAjyAdhikAriyoM ke sandarbha meM yaha bAta spaSTa ho jAtI hai / unakA Atma-dhyAna ApoApa hI, ina upasargoM se AkrAnta ho kara, eka mahAyuddha meM pariNata ho jAtA hai / apane meM banda, palAyita ho rahane kI chuTTI unheM nahIM hai / Atma-prApti kI rAha aneka durgama bIhar3oM, nairjanyoM, saMkaTa - khataroM, durbhedya tathA virodhI zaktiyoM ke bIca se ho kara gaI hai| sarva ko bheda kara, biddha kara, sarva meM se pAra ho kara, sarva kA pUrNajJAna aura samvedana pA kara hI Atma kI parama pahacAna prApta kI jA sakatI hai / 10 isa pariprekSya meM yaha bhI spaSTa ho jAtA hai, ki Atma-yogI mahAvIra apanI dhyAnastha AtmA kI ekAgra UrjA aura acUka kriyAzakti se hI, samasta carAcara sRSTi se mUla meM utara kara, satahagAmI itihAsa meM bhI eka apUrva krAnti aura atikrAnti ghaTita kara rahe haiM / AtmadhyAna hI isa mahAkrAntikArI kA amogha astra aura acUka karmayoga hai / o Jain Educationa International o SaDgamAni grAma ke vanAMgana meM, eka gvAle dvArA dhyAnastha mahAvIra ke donoM kAnoM ke Ara-pAra zUlavedha ke sAtha hI, AgamoM meM unake tapasyA - kAla kI kathA samApta ho jAtI hai / unakI tapasyA meM yahI carama upasarga thA, so isake turaMta bAda hI, unake parama zukla- dhyAna meM AroharaNa karane aura usake dvArA kaivalya prApta karane kA prakaraNa A jAtA hai / racanA ke stara para yahIM dvitIya khaNDa kI samApti mujhe bahuta Akasmika aura yAMtrika-sI lagI / vastuta: isa khaNDa meM Arambha se lekara, gvAle dvArA karNa-vedha ke upasarga taka, adhikAMza meM upasargoM kA eka aTUTa silasilA sA calatA hai / pUrva nirdhAraNA ke anusAra, mahAvIra uttama puruSa meM hI, ina upasargoM kI Atma-kathA kahate cale jAte haiN| lagabhaga sabhI upasarga itane utkaTa aura amAnuSika haiM, ki sarva sAmAnyataH mAnava-kathA inameM ghaTita hI nahIM hotI, aura na svayam mahAvIra kA koI mAnava rUpa hamAre sAmane AtA hai / atimAnuSika prasaMgoM kI eka sapATa zrRMkhalA hI sammukha AtI hai / usameM bhaya, AtaMka, Azcarya, romAMca aura camatkAra kA bodha bhale hI ho, para vizuddha mAnavIya samvedana kI koI gaharI apIla paidA nahIM hotI / ina prasaMgoM se sambaddha pazu prANiyoM, devoM, danujoM aura manujoM para, mahAvIra kI isa mRtyuMjayI tapasyA kA eka pratibodhaka aura unnAyaka prabhAva avazya par3atA hai| bezaka vaha bhI yathA sandarbha eka ucca starIya mAnavIya samvedana hI hai / hara upasarga ke samApana meM, prabhu ke hara pIr3aka aura prahAraka kI parAjaya, usakA For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #387
11 AtmArpaNa aura zaraNAgati tathA usakA Atmika rUpAntara bhI nizcaya hI eka unnayanakArI samvedanAtmaka apIla paMdA kara sakatA hai| una hatyAroM kI AtmaglAni, pazcAtApa, tathA usake dvArA unakI janma-janmAntaroM kI kaSAya-graMthiyoM kA mocana, aura phalataH unakA rUpAntaraNa aura Atmabodha bhI mAnava hRdaya para atimAnava mahAvIra ke acUka saMghAta aura prabhAva kA sRjana to karate hI haiM / para isa taraha anya mAnava caritra, mahaz2a mahAvIra kI mahimA ko jhelane aura pratibimbita karane vAle pAtroM aura darpaNoM ke rUpa meM hI ghaTita hote haiN| unakI kisI svataMtra mAnavIya sthiti yA pratikriyA ko isameM avasara nahIM miltaa| ... .isa samUce khaNDa meM kevala candanA kA prasaMga hI sahI mAnavIya artha meM hRdayasparzI hai| isI se caMdanA kI AtmakathA ko yathA sambhava adhikatama mAnavIya samvedanA ke paTa para racanA mere liye sambhava ho sakA hai| maiM use eka svataMtra vyaktitva pradAna kara sakA huuN| isa apavAda ke atirikta upasargoM kI pUrI AkhyAnamAlA sRjanAtmaka dRSTi se aisI kisI saMzliSTatA yA jaTilatA (kAmpaleksiTI) ko avasara nahIM detI, jisake abhAva meM eka aupanyAsika mahA kAvya apanI yatheSTa garimA aura gaharAI nahIM prApta kara paataa| yaha spaSTa hone para, isa anivArya AyAma ko ubhArane ke liye, maiMne karNavedha aura kevalajJAna ke bIca ke rikta lagate antarAla meM ATha naye adhyAya race, jo sambhavataH eka mahad upanyAsa kI uparokta zarta ko pUrA karate haiN| ina adhyAyoM meM do-tIna kAma eka sAtha ho sake haiN| isa kRti ko usakI upayukta 'kAmpaleksiTI' prApta ho sakI hai| karNavedha kI dAruNa vedanA ke mAdhyama se, atimAnavIya mahAvIra bhI apane akampa kAyotsarga se utara kara atyanta mAnavIya saMvedanA ke stara para hameM upalabdha ho jAte haiN| eka ora hai cakravartitva kI mahatvAkAMkSA se pramatta samrATa bimbisAra zreNika kA parAjeya pArthiva ahaMkAra / dUsarI ora hai trailokyezvara, phira bhI akiMcana mahAvIra kI aparAjeya Atmika prbhutaa| magadha aura vaizAlI ke saMgharSa meM, prathama khaNDa meM hI yaha TakarAva aura ulajhAva, anajAne hI sampUrNa upanyAsa kI kendrIya viSaya-vastu kA rUpa le letA hai / dvitIya khaNDa ke uparokta ATha adhyAyoM meM yaha saMgharSa eka gaharA manovaijJAnika, Antarika aura tAttvika rUpa prApta kara letA hai / isa taraha yaha TakarAva aura ulajhAva pUre upanyAsa ko eka-sUtrAtmaka anviti pradAna kara detA hai| aura eka bar3e upanyAsa ke yogya saMzliSTatA bhI, isa ulajhAva meM se upalabdha ho jAtI hai / ____iMna ATha adhyAyoM meM mahAvIra kA eka atyanta mAnavIya samvedanAtmaka vyaktitva bhI hameM anAyAsa hAsila ho jAtA hai| unake AtmavikAsa kI yAtrA yahA~ Akara, sapATa rekhA ko tor3a kara, cakrAkAra ho jAtI hai| vaha mahaz2a lIniyara' na raha kara 'sAyaklika' ho jAtI hai, aura isa taraha vaha anivArya manovaijJAnika

Page #388
12 prakriyA kI mA~ga pUrI karatI hai / apane karNa-vedha ke carama upasarga taka pahu~catepahu~cate, mahAvIra jisa qadara atimAnuSika ho jAte haiM, vaha jaise upanyAsa ko vAstavikatA se vaMcita kara detA hai / isa sthiti meM karNa-vedha kI Agamokta kathA svayam hI eka aisI kuMjI ( klyU) hameM anAyAsa de detI hai, jo atimAnava mahAvIra ko svAbhAvika rUpa se mAnavIya stara para utAra lAne meM sahAyaka ho jAtI hai / kathA-sUtra yaha hai ki jaba kharaka vaidya ke sahAyaka, bhagavAn ko tela kI kuNDI meM baiThA kara unake zUlavedha se tane hue zarIra ko DhIlA kara, unake kAnoM meM bidhe zUla khIMca nikAlate haiM,taba bhagavAna ke muMha se apane bAvajUda trAsa kI eka cIqha phUTa par3atI hai| yaha eka ati mAnava kI cIqha hai, jo usakI mAnuSika vedanA kI vyaMjaka bhI hai, aura samasta brahmANDa kI maulika astitvagata trAsadI kI ekAgra abhivyakti bhI hai / vedanA ke isa carama chora para racanAkAra ko avasara milA hai, ki usane mahAvIra ko svAbhAvika manovaijJAnika DhaMga se apanI mA~ kA smaraNa karA diyA hai / kSaNa-mAtra ke liye mahAvIra ke bhItara kA manuSya, avaziSTa moha-saMskAravaza, mAnava hRdaya kI carama zaraNa-rUpA mA~ kI goda ke liye barabasa cItkAra uThatA hai / aura agale hI kSaNa, unakI ucca jJAnAtmaka sthiti kA bodha isa zaraNa kI moha-mAyAjanya bhrAnti ko bhaMga kara detA hai / lekina isa ghaTanA se jo eka mAnavIya mRdutA aura namyatA utpanna hotI hai, vaha apanI Atmika guNavattA ke bAvajUda, mahAvIra ko eka samarasa manuSya ke rUpa meM, apane nikaTatama AtmIya mAnava pAtroM ke sAtha, sahaja mAnavIya rant adhikAdhika samanvita karatI calo jAtI hai| yAnI ki racanA meM yaha saMgata rUpa se aura haThAt sambhava ho gayA hai, ki bhagavAna jaise-jaise kevalajJAna ke nikaTatara pahu~cate haiM, ve adhikAdhika mAnavIya hote cale jAte haiM / cUMki aba vaha ghar3I A pahu~cI hai, jaba unheM pUrNajJAnI aura pUrNa premI hokara saMsAra ke tamAma mAnavoM aura prANiyoM ke pAsa sadA ke liye lauTa AnA hai / mAnoM ki yaha isa bAta kA dyotaka pratIka ho jAtA hai, ki kevalajJAna mahAvIra ke liye mahaz2a nijI, vaiyaktika AtmaprApti aura jIvanmukti kA sAdhana hI nahIM hai, balki vastutaH aura satyataH vaha unheM mAnava mAtra aura prANi mAtra ke sAtha saMvedanAtmaka rUpa se tadAkAra karA denevAlI upalabdhi hai / kevalajJAnI mahAvIra ko sRSTi ke sakala carAcara aura kaNa-kaNa ke sAtha sarvakAla AtmIya ho kara rahanA hai| unake kevalajJAna kI yahI ekamAtra zuddha samvedanAtmaka pariNati ho sakatI hai| ukta ATha adhyAyoM meM kramaza: trizalA, celanA, zreNika ke Atma - kathanoM dvArA atimAnava ke mAnavIkaraNa kI prakriyA ko samvedanAtmaka mUrtatA pradAna karane kA prayAsa kiyA gayA hai| prayAsa kyA, svayam mahAvIra isI rUpa meM yahA~ apane Apa sRjana meM ghaTita hote cale jAte haiM / 'mAM' zabda dvArA uccarita mahAvIra

Page #389
kI cIkha, AdhI rAta gaharI nIMda meM soyI trizalA ke hRdaya para AghAta kara use jagA detI hai / jo ki hamAre mahaz2a mAnavIya stara para Aja bhI eka 'TelIpaithika' pratyAghAta ke rUpa meM ghaTita honevAlI svAbhAvika mAnavIya ghaTanA kahI jA sakatI hai| zvetAmbara AgamoM ke anusAra mahAvIra ke mAtA-pitA kA dehAnta unake gRha-tyAga ke pUrva hI ho jAtA hai / para digambara kathA ke anusAra, gRha-tyAga ke samaya unake mAtA-pitA jIvita haiN| usake bAda mahAvIra kI tapasyA aura kevalajJAna taka ke sAr3he bAraha varSoM taka bhI unakA jIvita rahanA, eka saMgata tathya ho hI sakatA hai| digambara kathA isa tathya para mauna hai| aura yaha mauna sammati detA hai kathAkAra ko, ki kathA kI jarUrata ke anusAra, tIrthaMkara mahAvIra ke samavazaraNa meM bhI vaha unakI upasthiti dikhA sakatA hai| karNavedha kI pIr3A, aura tajjanya cIkha ke ThIka anusaraNa meM trizalA kA Atma-kathana A jAtA hai, jisameM usa brahmANDa-puruSa kI carama mAnavIya vedanA kA pratyAghAta, atyanta upayukta rUpa se sarvaprathama ThIka usakI mA~ ke hRdaya para hI hotA hai| aura yahIM se mahAvIra ke mAnavIkaraNa kI manovaijJAnika prakriyA Arambha ho jAtI hai| isa prasthAna-bindu se ve mA~ kI vedanA meM sahabhAgI hote hue, kramazaH celanA aura zreNika ke AtmakathanoM ke mAdhyama se unakI mAnavatA ke sAtha ulajhate hue, mAno nikaTa bhaviSya meM hI kevalajJAna dvArA prANi-mAtra kI vedanA meM hissedArI karane kI dizA meM agrasara hote dikhAI par3ate haiN| trizalA ke Atma-kathana meM, mahAvIra mAM ke sAtha tadgata hote hue bhI, moha-mukta prema dvArA mohAvRta mAtR-yoni kA veSa karate haiN| aura usa yoni ko hI ve muktiramaNI meM utsaMgita yA rUpAntarita kara dete haiM / celanA aura zreNika ke AtmakathanoM meM jahA~ eka ora mahAvIra kI mAnavIya alabhyatA, aura nigUr3ha cAritrikatA prakaTa hotI hai, vahIM usameM unakI mAnavIya USmA, udAttatA' aura mauna prIti ke jharokhe bhI khulate dIkhate haiN| isake atirikta ina Atma-kathyoM kI sarvopari racanAtmaka sArthakatA yaha hai, ki ye tInoM pAtra mahAvIra ke pariprekSya meM hI sahI, phira bhI apanI eka svataMtra vyaktimattA, asmitA aura sArthakatA prApta karate haiM / yahA~ Uonmukha mAnavaAtmA kI vikAsa-yAtrA meM muqAbila hone vAle carama Atma-saMgharSa aura AtmapIr3ana ko bhI abhivyakti milatI hai / karNavedha ke prakaraNa taka to svataMtra mAnava citta, vyakti aura usake svAbhAvika manovijJAna ko avasara hI nahIM miltaa| para ina pAtroM ke Atma-kathanoM dvArA kathA ko gaharI mAnavIyatA aura manovijJAna prApta ho jAtA hai| eka taraha se yahA~ ye tInoM mAnava pAtra, ati mAnava mahAvIra se apanI mAnavIya sthiti kI kaiphiyata talaba karate haiN| ve unake atimAnavatva ke sandarbha meM apane svataMtra mAnavIya astitva kI sArthakatA kA tIkhA

Page #390
prazna uThAte haiN| ve mahAvIra se apane manuSya hone ke prayojana kI paribhASA mAMgate haiN| isake bAda, eka adhyAya meM svayam mahAvIra ukta tInoM pAtroM kI sArI ulajhanoM kA samAdhAna karate hue, svagata kathana meM unheM sambodhita karate haiN| yahAM apanI ucca jJAnAtmaka sthiti meM raha kara bhI, ve trizalA, celanA, zreNika aura unake mAdhyama se mAnoM manuSya mAtra ke prati samarpita hote haiN| prANi mAtra ke sAtha ve carama AtmIyatA meM cira kAla Abaddha hone ko chaTapaTAte dIkhate haiN| yahA~ ve aba taka prApta apanI samasta jJAnAtmaka upalabdhiyoM ko bhI kamatara anubhava karate haiM / ve atyanta vinamra jijJAsu aura mumukSu kI taraha usa pUrNajJAna ko pAne ke liye jUjhate haiM, jise pAye binA trizalA, celanA, zreNika aura samasta jagata ke prANiyoM ke sAtha paripUrNa, avicchedya AtmIyatA meM Abaddha nahIM huA jA sktaa| yaha kaivalya ke tIra para dhyAnastha, parama puruSa kI mahAvedanA kI ghar3I hai| yahA~ unameM pracaNDa Atma-saMgharSa aura Atma-maMthana ghaTita hotA hai| yahA~ ve mAnava mAtra aura prANi mAtra ke sAtha tadAkAritA, aura pUrNa samvAda tathA pUrNa preSaNIyatA upalabdha karane ke liye utkaTa Atma-pIr3A ke sAtha kazamakaza karate haiN| vaisI kisI sambhAvanA taka pahuMcane ke liye, apanI jJAnAtmaka samvedanA dvArA, usa prakAra ke samvAda-sampreSaNa kI sambhAvya nayI rAhoM kA anveSaNa karate haiN| kaheM ki isa taraha ke samvAda-sampreSaNa kI eka nayI jamIna tor3ate haiN| isa prakAra ina adhyAyoM meM mAnava aura atimAnava mahAvIra ke bIca eka svAbhAvika manovaijJAnika sAmaMjasya aura sAmarasya upalabdha ho sakA hai| bAraha varSa vyApI kaThora tapa se gujarane ke bAda bhI, karNa-vedha ke upasarga meM mahAvIra pahalI bAra apane ko antima rUpa se akelA mahasUsa karate haiN| usake bAda trizalA, celanA aura zreNika ke sAtha mAnasika ulajhAva ke daurAna unakA vaha akelApana uttarottara bar3hatA hI calA jAtA hai| ukta tIna pAtroM ke sAtha ke apane bhItarI 'DAyalaoNga' meM ve eka tIvra pukAra anubhava karate haiM, ki kyA apane ina AtmIyoM ke sAtha, aura inake mAdhyama se samasta carAcara sRSTi ke sAtha ve ekAtma aura tadAkAra nahIM ho sakate ? kyA ve tamAma AtmAoM ke bhItara praveza kara, unameM samvedita aura saMsparzita nahIM ho sakate ? kyA sabake sAtha ve eka nitya sambhoga, samvAda aura sampreSaNa meM nirantara nahIM raha sakate ? kyA isa antima akelepana se ubarane kA yahI eka mAtra upAya nahIM hai ? aura isa prazna ke sAtha hI ve sIdhe cirantan mAnavIya trAsadI ke AmanesAmane khar3e ho jAte haiN| aba taka ve tattva se astitva kA mUlyAMkana karate rahe,

Page #391
isI se astitva kI nagna vAstavika trAsadI unakI cetanA meM pUrI taraha ghaTita aura sAkSAtkRta nahIM ho pAtI thii| aba apane AtmasaMgharSa kI pIr3A meM se, aura apane antima praznoM se jUjhate hue, ve sIdhe astitva kI trAsadI kA muqAbilA karate haiN| apane mAnavIya samvedana ke stara para ve usase jur3ate haiM, aura usakA sAkSAtkAra karate haiN| unake isa astitva -cintana meM jainoM kI anitya, azaraNa, ekatva, anyatva Adi bAraha anuprekSAoM kA ApoApa hI samAveza ho jAtA hai| yahIM se mahAvIra kI vaha bhItarI antarikSa-yAtrA Arambha ho jAtI hai, jisameM Age jAkara ve uttarottara saMgharSa, bAdhA, bandhana kI aneka mUlabhUta bhUmikAe~ pAra karate hue, utkRSTa zukladhyAna taka le jAnevAlI kaI ucca se uccatara zreNiyoM para ArohaNa karate cale jAte haiN| yahA~ racanAkAra ke sAmane samasyA yaha thI, ki dhyAna jaise amUrta viSaya kA, kalA meM mUrtana kaise kiyA jAye ? paryApta maMthana ke bAda, jaise mujhe pratyakSa vijana huA, ki bhItara ke bhUgola aura khagola meM antargAmI yAtrA ke rUpa meM hI, sRjana ke tahata amUrta dhyAna-prakriyA ko mUrta rUpa diyA jA sakatA hai| isa yAtrA kI rAha meM par3ane vAle Antarika pradezoM aura bhUmikAoM ko bimba pradAna karanA isake liye anivArya huaa| cUMki tathyAtmaka kathA yahA~ koI sambhava hI nahIM thI, isI kAraNa kAvya, kalpanA, phantAsI, pratIka aura rUpakoM dvArA hI isa Antara caryA ko racA gayA hai| ___ apanI antara-yAtrA meM samasta loka kA sAkSAtkAra karane ke uparAnta, mahAvIra karma-cakra kI tAtvika lIlA bhUmi meM utarate haiN| vahA~ karma-bandhana kI prakriyA ko aneka raMgoM, AkAroM, bibo dvArA umArA gayA hai| tamasa se prakAza taka kI cetanA kI bhAva-sthitiyoM ko racane ke liye, eka kAvyAtmaka raMga-lIlA dvArA jainoM kI SaT lezyAoM kA upayoga kara liyA gayA hai / isI prakAra Age bhAratIya yoga sAdhanA ke vibhinna mArgoM meM milane vAle aneka pratIkoM, sAkSyoM, bimbAtmaka bhUmikAoM kA samanvita DhaMga se upayoga karate hue, mahAvIra kI isa antara-yAtrA ko racanA-stara para adhikatama aiMdrika anubhavagamya, bhAvagamya, bodhagamya banAne kI ceSTA apane Apa sRjana ke daurAna huI hai| udAharaNArtha kAma, garur3a aura ziva ke svarUpoM aura lokoM meM se mahAvIra guz2arate haiM, aura unake bhItara bhI antataH apane Atma-svarUpa kA hI darzana karate haiN| garur3a ke pratIka ke mAdhyama se ve pRthvI, jala, agni, vAyu ke maNDaloM meM se abhisaraNa karate hue, unase atikrAnta ho kara AkAza meM apane pUrNa vistAra kI sambhAvanA anubhava karate haiN| phira jainoM ke yahAM nirUpita AtmA ke caudaha guNa-sthAnoM (AtmavikAsa kI anukramika bhUmikAoM) ke bhItara saMkramaNa, aura zukla-dhyAna kI uccatara zreNiyoM para kramazaH ArohaNa ko maiMne vibhinna dhAtu aura khanijoM kI parvata

Page #392
zreNiyoM ke atikramaNa ke rUpa meM bimbAyita kiyA hai| isa silasile meM rasezvara zaiva-darzana ke, pArvatI-raja abhraka, aura ziva-vIrya pArada vAle pratIkoM kA bhI anAyAsa samAveza ho gayA hai| abhraka aura pArada ke sampUrNa rajavIrya saMyoga dvArA hI caMcala pArada nizcala AtmA kI taraha sthira aura ghanIbhUta ho sakatA hai| aura isI ghanIbhUta pArada dvArA AtmA apane bhItara nihita zuddha jAtarUpa suvarNa meM rUpAntarita ho sakatI hai| isa bhUmikA meM naranArI kA kSaNika maithunAnanda hI, pUrNa yoga kI sAdhanA dvArA, Atma-svarUpa ziva-zivAnI ke zAzvata milanAnanda meM pariNata ho jAtA hai| isa prakAra mAnuSika stara ke maithuna ko bhI Atmika maithuna kI mUla bhUmikA meM yathA sthAna aucitya, samarthana aura sArthakatA prApta ho jAtI hai| isa taraha zuddhAtmA kI bhUmikA, sarva samAvezI aura samagra jIvana-AzleSI rUpa meM, racanA stara para upalabdha ho jAtI hai| ___ isake bAda kevalajJAna ke Akasmika prAkaTya kI prakriyA aura ghaTanA, nATakIya sthitiyoM se gujara kara eka anAyAsika visphoTa aura Alokana meM apane carama utkarSa para pahuMcatI hai| isake uparAnta sahasA hI mahAvIra samAdhi bhaMga kara nikhila para AMkheM khola dete haiN| kevalajJAna ke zikhara para ArUr3ha apanI Atma-sthiti kA avalokana karate haiM, sAtha hI bAhara ke loka meM prakAzita apane vyaktitva kI mahimA kA bhI tadgata rUpa se sAkSAtkAra karate haiN| taba triloka aura trikAla ke nitya jJAnI, sarvajJa mahAvIra apane usa jJAnAnubhava ko vyakta karate haiM, tAki usa taraha ve apanI upalabdhi ko loka-hRdaya taka pahuMcA sakeM, usakI eka sacoTa pratIti hara muktikAmI AtmA ko karA skeN| yahAM kevalajJAna ko bhI mahAvIra adhikatama manovaijJAnika anUbhUti ke stara para utAra kara, mAnoM use loka-bhogya banAne ko akAraNa aura niSkAma bhAva se hI utprerita hote haiN| ___ bezaka akathya hai vaha anubhUti, vaha cetnaa-sthiti| phira bhI racanA meM use anirvaca kaha kara chor3a dene se kAma nahIM clegaa| yadi koI kevalajJAna kabhI kahIM sambhava hai, aura vaha yadi kisI kathA kA viSaya hai, to use bhAva-samvedana ke stara para mUrta aura sampreSaNIya banAnA hogaa| usa parama jJAna-sthiti ko eka indriyagamya manasthiti ke saMvedanA-stara para vizvasanIya rUpa se rUpAyita karanA hogaa| usa nizcala kendra (sTila seMTara) kI anubhUti ko mahaz2a anirvaca kaha kara, usa para kalA kA mauna pardA DAla dene se racanA kevala eka rUr3ha AdhyAtmika parikalpanA para aTaka jAtI hai| vaisI cIz2a paramparA meM pahale hI se pratiSThita hai| usameM nayA kyA huA ? aura Adhunika manuSya

Page #393
17 use yathA-sthiti rUpa meM svIkAra kara, usase anubhAvita aura sampreSita nahIM .. ho sktaa| usase usakA koI sahaja mAnasika jur3Ava nahIM ho pAtA / / taba z2arUrI huA ki kaivalya-puruSa bhagavAn svayam apanI usa manAtIta jJAna-cetanA ko atyanta manogamya bhASA meM vyakta kreN| tAki Adhunika mAnasikatA ke marma meM kevalajJAna kA koI acUka saMghAta sambhava ho ske| Adhunika manuSya use grahaNa karane ko udyata ho sake, use prApta karane kI abhIpsA se prajjvalita ho ske| antataH hara AtmA use apanI anivArya z2arUrata ke rUpa meM mahasUsa kara sake, aura apanI antima niyati ke rUpa meM usakA sAkSAtkAra kara sake / isI kAraNa antima adhyAya 'kaivalya ke prabhA-maNDala meM' dvArA maiMne bhagavAna ke zrImukha se hI kevalajJAna kI anubhUti kA samagrAtmaka kathana karavA diyA hai| isameM kalA-zilpa kI dRSTi se maiMne khatarA uThAyA hai| kitanA usameM saphala ho sakA hU~, isakA nirNaya pAThaka ke hAthoM hai| Adhunika vizva-sAhitya meM kahIM bhI sarvajJatA yA pUrNa jJAnasthiti kA racanAtmaka nirUpaNa dekhane meM nahIM aayaa| mere sAmane eka sarvathA nayI aura aprayukta bhUmikA thii| aura cunautI thI ki kaise isa apUrva cetanA-sthiti ko racanAstara para Akalita karake ise adhikatama sampreSaNIya banA sakatA huuN| isake liye eka nitAnta nayI aura kuMvArI bhASA pAne ke liye maiM kaI rAtoM becaina rhaa| Akhira svayam zrI bhagavAna ne anugRha kiyA, aura kaivalyAnubhUti kI abhivyakti ke upayukta eka prAMjala bhASA sahaja merI qalama para umar3atI calI aaii| "sRjana kA vaha muhUrta kitanA sukhada aura muktidAyaka thA, kase kahA jAye ? ___ isa bhASA-AviSkAra ke daurAna kaI naye zabdoM kA nirmANa, tathA pracalita zabdoM kA navIna vyApaka Azayagata niyojana bhI huA hai| isI antaHsphUrti meM se maiMne 'sambhoga' zabda ko mahaja nara-nArI maithuna ke dAyare meM se mukta kara aMgrejI zabda 'inTarakorsa' ke vyApaka bhAvArtha meM prayukta kiyA hai| yahAM yaha svIkAra karanA ucita hai, ki isa upanyAsa meM Arambha se hI jo vijana aura phantAsI kI rAha maiMne mahAvIra aura anya pAtroM kI antazcetanA ko kholA hai, usameM 'zaktipAta' se prApta merI bhItarI yogAnubhUtiyoM ne gaharA yogadAna kiyA hai| dhyAna meM aneka bAra dekhe gaye antara-jagata, sUkSma-jagata aura svapna-jagata ke dRzyoM kI jo gaharI smRtiyAM merI samvedanA meM surakSita thIM, unake divya saundarya vaibhava ko anajAne hI isa racanA meM yathAsthAna sAMgopAMga abhivyakti prApta ho gaI hai| upanyAsa ke sabhI unnata pAtroM ke Atma-darzana ke kSaNoM kA citraNa merI unhIM anubhUtiyoM dvArA huA hai|

Page #394
prathama adhyAya meM hI acyutendra ke pUrva janma-smaraNa kI cetanA-pravAhI abhivyakti meM, kuNDalinI kI samvedana-UrjA ko maiMne spaSTa kriyAzIla anubhava kara liyA thaa| isake atirikta mahAvIra ke anukramika Atmabodha aura Atmacintana meM jo paramparAgata zAstra bhASA kA dAyarA tor3a kara, eka svatantra maulika AtmAnubhUti kI bhASA zakya ho sakI hai, vaha bhI bhagavatI kuNDalinI kA hI sahaja kalA-vilAsa hai| upasargoM ke atiprAkRtika upadravoM ke dhArasAra nATakIya citraNa meM, aura antataH kevalajJAna kI ora agrasara mahAvIra kI samasta antara-yAtrA ke citraNa meM, tathA usake liye maulika bhASA-AviSkAra kI sphurNA pAne meM, kuNDalinI mahAzakti hI eka mUlasrota ke rUpa meM mere sAmane AtI hai| yahA~ taka ki jina Atma-sthitiyoM kA maiMne citraNa kiyA hai, ve kaI bAra svayam mere bhItara acAnaka AvirbhUta ho gaI haiN| __isa prakAra yaha racanA mere liye kevala sAhitya ke liye sAhitya-sRjana, yA kalA ke liye kalA-sRjana ho kara na raha skii| anAyAsa hI yaha mere sUkSma bhItarI AtmotthAna kA sAdhana, aura usakI abhivyakti kA mAdhyama bhI bana gii| isane mujhe yahA~ taka pratIti karA dI ki kavi-racanAkAra kevala apane kAvya ke racanA-mAdhyama se hI Atma-sAkSAtkAra aura paramAtma-prApti kI bhUmikA taka bhI pahuMca sakatA hai| vaise paramparA meM bhI santoM kA sArA kAvya-sAhitya isa sambhAvanA aura anubhava kI sAkSI detA hai| isa racanAkAla meM eka aura bhI vilakSaNa anubhava mujhe huaa| merI janmajAta mAnasika saMracanA meM hI baddhamUla aisI kaI granthiyoM aura kuNThAoM kA bhI anajAne hI mocana ho gayA, jo isase pUrva merI racanA aura pragati meM sadA bAdhaka rhiiN| isa taraha eka ajIba mAnasika rUpAntara aura sudRr3ha AtmaniSThA mujhe upalabdha ho gii| zaktipAta aura nityAnanda yA muktAnanda mere mana paryAyavAcI haiN| apane pyAre gurudeva muktAnanda svAmI ko smaraNa kiye binA kaise virama sakatA huuN| zaktipAta ke rUpa meM, parama bhAgavadIya anugRha unase mujhe prApta huaa| usase akSayya rasa, saundarya, pyAra aura zakti ke srota jaise ApoApa bhItara khula pdd'e| aura unakA AplAvana mere bhItara kitanA gaharA hai, aura usase kaisI nita-nUtana sambhAvanAeM anAyAsa mere bhItara ghaTita aura kriyAzIla dIkha par3atI haiM, usako kaise bayAna kiyA jaaye| eka taraha se 'anuttara yogI' usI anubhUti kI eka ImAnadAra dastAvez2a hai| jina Atma-vallabha zrIguru se aisI divya vastu prApta ho sakI, unake prati kRtajJatA se merA hRdaya nirantara umar3atA rahatA hai| mana hI mana bAra-bAra unheM praNAma karatA rahatA huuN| aura jyAdAtara to unase alaga apane ko mahasUsa hI nahIM kara paataa| tadAkAra rahatA hU~ anajAne hI unake sAtha, aura usI bhaMgimA se jIvana-jagata ko mukta bhogatA

Page #395
19 jAnatA hU~, usameM nirbandha, nirdvandva vicaratA hU~ / vidhi-niSedha ke sAre phATaka pIche chUTa gaye / eka mukta Ananda ko satata apane sAtha calate anubhava karatA hU~ / pUjyapAda vidyAnanda svAmI bhI acAnaka usI dhArA meM mujhe mila gaye / aura mahAvIra ke isa premayogI aura karmayogI pratinidhi ne muktAnanda se prApta mere amRta ko 'anuttara yogI' meM rUpAyita karane kA acUka rasAyana prastuta kara diyA / yaha eka adbhuta saMyoga hai, aura isa para maiM Azcarya se stabdha hU~ / " 0 O O maMkhali gozAla, mahAvIra kI jIvana- kathA meM eka mahattvapUrNa pAtra hai / mahAvIra ke samakAlIna tIrthakoM meM vaha AjIvika sampradAya ke pravartaka AcArya ke rUpa meM pratiSThita hai| jaina aura bauddha darzanoM ke atirikta usa kAla ke darzanoM meM kevala AjIvika paramparA hI kucha adhika samaya taka TikI rahane kA pramANa milatA hai| bhAratIya aura videzI zodha paNDitoM ne tatkAlIna dArzanikoM meM gozAlaka ko bhI paryApta mahattva diyA hai| isake viparIta jainoM kI mahAvIra - kathA meM gozAlaka bhagavAna ke tapasyAkAla ke eka mUr3ha zaraNAgata ziSya ke rUpa meM sAmane AtA hai / vaha dIna dayanIya, Atma-hInatA se pIr3ita, tRSNArta, lobhI, bhojana- bhaTTa aura eka akAraNa zarAratI, kautukI vAnara ke rUpa meM citrita hai / racanA kI dRSTi se, AgamoM meM upalabdha usakA yaha viDambanakArI rUpa hI mujhe adhika upayukta pratIta huA / isa rUpa meM vaha kAla kI adhogAminI dhArA ( avasarpiNI kAla ) ke eka sacoTa vyaMgya-vidrUpa - kAra vidUSaka ke rUpa meM upalabdha ho jAtA hai / vaha astitva ke sAre viparyayoM, vyaMgyoM, vaiSamyoM ko apanI vAcAlatA dvArA nagna karatA hai| sAre pAkhaMDoM kA pardAphAza karatA hai / yahA~ taka ki vaha svayam apanA hI majAka ur3A kara, sAre jagata-jIvana para tIvra vyaMgya kA aTTAhAsa karatA hai / apane kAla ke aura astitva ke tamAma viparyayoM kA vaha eka tIvra nindaka aura kaTu Alocaka hai / usake isa vidUSaka svarUpa se merI kathA ko, anyoM se sarvathA bhinna eka vilakSaNa pAtra prApta ho jAtA hai| Jain Educationa International isI se binA kisI zodha-vivAda kI ulajhana meM par3e, vizuddha sarjana kI dRSTi se saMsAra jIvana ke eka mUrtimAna vyaMgya - vidrUpa ke nAte maiMne usakA upayoga kara liyA hai| mahAvIra use apane sAtha rahane dete haiM, yahI apane Apa meM usako eka nigUr3ha sArthakatA pradAna karatA hai / mAnoM ki apane eka pratitIrthaka yA virodhI ke rUpa meM bhagavAna use apane liye eka anivArya saMgI ke rUpa meM svIkAra kara lete haiM / vaha bhagavAna se hI tejolezyA siddhi kI vidhi sIkha kara, antataH usase bhagavAna para hI prahAra karatA hai / phira bhI For Personal and Private Use Only

Page #396
-20 mahAvIra use gahare meM kahIM eka bhavyAtmA ke rUpa meM jAna kara pyAra karate haiM, usake Atmonnayana bAra pANa ke nimitta banate haiN| isa taraha anya pAtroM kI taraha gozAlaka kA yaha viziSTa pAtrAlekhana maiMne zuddha sarjanAtmaka sambhAvanA kI dRSTi se hI cunA hai / zodha kSetra ke vivAda meM par3anA mujhe apane lie anAvazyaka lgaa| municandra sUri kA AkhyAna prasaMga maiMne AcArya hemacandra ke 'triSaSTi zalAkA-puruSa' meM se liyA hai| usameM sacelaka sthavirakalpI sAdhu municandra kI kaThora jina-kalpI tapasyA, aura upasarga-sahana ke Alekhana meM digambara mahAvIra dvArA, zvetAmbara municandra zramaNa ke savastra hote hue bhI, unakI ucca Atmopalabdhi ko svIkRti prApta hotI hai| isa prakAra isa kathA meM digambara-zvetAmbara ke bAhyAcAra gata kaTTara bhedoM kA nirasana hotA hai, aura zuddha AtmotthAna ke stara para donoM kA sahaja samanvaya ho jAtA hai| zodha vidvAna aura sAmpradAyika Alocaka uparokta do kathAnakoM aura pAtroM ko vyartha hI vivAda kA viSaya na banAyeM, isI khyAla se yaha tathyAtmaka spaSTIkaraNa mujhe jarUrI pratIta huaa| merI isa durgama sRjana-yAtrA kI khar3I car3hAiyoM meM, jina kucha khAsa mitroM aura AtmIyoM kA bhAvAtmaka sambala mujhe prApta huA, unakA ullekha meM prathama khaNDa ke samApana meM kara cukA huuN| para eka nAma maiM apane hRdaya meM surakSita aura gopita rakkhe rhaa| aura use alaga se lenA cAhatA thaa|"uttr chAyAvAdI kAvya ke pravartaka mahAkavi baccana / san '71 meM baccana bhAI, mAno mere liye bhagavAna ke bheje hI, ThIka vile pArale kI juhU kaoNlanI meM A base / bhItara-bhItara barasoM se, dUrI ke bAvajUda, unake sAtha merA eka gaharA samvAda calatA rahA thaa| lekina 'anuttara yogI ke garbhAdhAna ke muhUrta meM acAnaka ve mere pAsa cale aaye| taba se lagabhaga prathama khaNDa kI samApti taka unakA sukhada aura tanmaya sAhacarya mujhe prApta rhaa| amitAma kA makAna mere ghara se bahuta dUra nahIM hai, juhU-kaoNlanI meN| racanA ke kaThina par3AvoM aura car3hAvoM meM jaba bhI merA dama ghuTane lagatA, to qalama DAla kara kisI bhI zAma baccana bhAI ke pAsa jA phuNctaa| aura taba una agraja ke pyAra bhare sAmIpya meM, kisa kadara rAhata aura tAjagI milatI thI, kyA btaauuN| sRjana ke unmeSa aura prasava-pIr3A ke daurAna, unake sAtha jo AtmA kI gaharI hissedArI mujhe prApta huI, vaha apane Apa meM eka kalAkAra kI Atma-kathA kA mahattvapUrNa adhyAya hai| san '70-71 se'72-74 taka ke una tIna-cAra barasoM meM unake sAtha jo tanmaya

Page #397
stria kI zAmeM bItIM, unheM maiM eka AdhyAtmika milana prasaMga hI kaha sakatA hU~ / usa daura meM mAnoM hama donoM ne hindI ke samUce itihAsa aura samakAlInatA ko saMyukta rUpa se jiyA / hama donoM ne eka-dUsare ke Atmika itihAsa meM bhI bahuta gaharAI se avagAhna kiyA / mere jIvana meM samvedana aura sarjana kI sahabhAgitA ke aise prasaMga virala hI rahe haiN| baccana bhAI ke prati kRtajJatA jJApana karake, unheM apane se alaga kaise karU~ / TS prathama khaNDa baccana bhAI ne dillI sthAnAntarita hone ke bAda hI pddh'aa| use par3ha kara ve itane bhAvita, mugdha aura vibhora hue, ki bambaI Ate hI, miThAiyoM ke do bar3e sAre paikeTa lekara, ve mere pAsa daur3e cale aaye| aisA lAr3a-pyAra Aja ke isa baMjara bhAvahIna yuga meM kauna kisI ko detA hai / 'bacuvA' kaha kara jisa gaharI naz2ara se ve mujhe pIte rahate haiM, usa sukha ko kathana meM kaise lAU~ / 'anuttara yogI' kI candanabAlA aura vainateyI, apane vidagdha sRjanAtmaka AvirbhAva ke liye, navalekhana kI viziSTa kahAnIkAra tathA kavayitrI sunItA (DaoN. sunItA jaina ) kI RNI haiN| jisa samvedanA meM se ye donoM pAtriyA~, aura anya striyAM bhI AkAra letI calI gaIM, usameM sunItA kI bhAgIdArI ko bhulAyA nahIM jA sakatA / zrIkRSNa janmASTamI : 30 agasta, 1975 govinda nivAsa, sarojinI roDa, vile pArale (pazcima), bambaI - 56. gata pharavarI meM, 'anuttara yogI' ke udghATana prasaMga para maiMne kucha AgAhiyA~ kI thiiN| ve bAda ke mahinoM meM saca huiiN| aba phira se doharAtA hU~, ki san 1975, yAnI mahAvIra - nirvANa kI paccIsavIM zatI kA yaha varSa, eka buniyAdI viplava kA parva hai| isakI samApti kisI kRtrima ThaharAva kI zAnti meM nahIM ho skegii| AgAmI mahInoM ke antarAla meM maiM aise tUfAna garajate dekha rahA hU~, jo maujUdA saMsAra kA takhtA bhI ulaTa sakate haiN| Apa dekheM, kyA-kyA hotA hai / Jain Educationa International 0 0 O For Personal and Private Use Only - vIrendrakumAra jaina

Page #398

Page #399
vIrendra kumAra jaina antazcetanA ke becaina anveSI rahe haiM / yaha racanA unakI jIvanavyApI yAtanA aura tapo-sAdhanA tathA usase ajita sahaja yogAnubhUti kA eka jvalanta pratiphala hai| vIrendra ke lie yoga-adhyAtma mahaz2a khyAlI ayyAzI nahIM rahA, balki pratipala kI anivArya pukAra, vedanA aura anubhUti rahA, jisake bala para ve jIvita raha sake aura racanA-karma kara ske| ___ Adi se anta taka yaha racanA Apako eka atyAdhunika prayoga kA ahasa sa kraayegii| yaha prayoga svataHkathya ke unmeSa aura sRjana kI UrjA meM se anAyAsa AvirbhUta hai| prayoga ke lie prayoga karane, aura zilpa tathA rUpAvaraNa (phaoNrma) ko satarkatApUrvaka gar3hane kA koI bauddhika prayAsa yahA~ nahIM hai| yaha eka maulika prAtima visphoTa meM se Avi ni navyatA-bodha kA nava-nUtana zilpana hai| Atmika UrjA kA pala-pala kA nita-navya pariNamana hI yahA~ rUpazilpana ke vilakSaNa vaicitrya kI sRSTi karatA hai| isa upanyAsa meM ekabAragI hI bhAvaka-pAThaka, mahAkAvya meM upanyAsa aura upanyAsa meM mahAkAvya kA rasAsvAdana kreNge| ThIka isa kSaNa hamArA deza aura jagata jisa gatyavarodha __ hAmRtyu se gujara rahe haiM, usake bIca purogamana aura kA apUrva natana dvAra kholate dikhAyI par3ate haiM ye zAsana, sikke aura sampatti-saMcaya kI anivArya na karake, yahA~ mahAvIra ne manuSya aura manuSya ..aura vastu ke bIca ke navIna mAMgalika sambandha kI udghoSaNA aura prasthApanA kI hai| isa taraha isa kRti meM ve prabhu hamAre yuga ke eka acaka yugAntara-dRSTA aura itihAsa-vidhAtA ke rUpa meM AvirmAna hue haiN| www.jainary.org Jain Educationa International

Page #400
anuttara yogI: tIrthaMkara mahAvIra cAra khaNDoM meM 1500 pRSTha-vyApI mahAkAvyAtmaka upanyAsa prathama khaNDa: vaizAlI kA vidrohI rAjaputra : kumAra kAla dvitIya khaNDa : asidhArA-patha kA yAtrI : sAdhanA-tapasyA kAla tRtIya khaNDa : tIrthaMkara kA dharma cakra pravartana : tIrthaMkara kAla caturtha khaNDa: anantapura kI jaya-yAtrA (zIghra prakAzya) mUlya : pratyeka khaNDa kA mUlya ru. 30) cAroM khaNDoM kA agrima mUlya 100) va DAka kharca pRthaka / prakAzaka: zrI vIra nirvANa grantha prakAzana-samiti 48, sItalAmAtA bAjAra, indaura-2 (ma. pra.) Jaducalona international For Personal and Private Use Only s