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PRABUDDH JEEVAN
MARCH 2014
the book Saman Suttam, 'Anger destroys love, pride behaviour of the offending person or situation. A good destroys modesty, deceit destroys friendship, and example is a mother getting angry with a child, or a greed destroys everything.'
teacher getting angry with a student, for misbehaving. A major step is often missing between the Clearly both cases involve a harmless emotional reoriginnation of anger and its expression: awarness of sponse based upon a pure motive. our anger.
Some anger management consultants suggest we If we recognize the negative emotion of anger as it must express our anger and not keep it botteld up. I do arises, we can dilute and even dissipate the emotion. not agree with this, because immediately expressing How can we identify and control anger? This requires anger does not provide any permanent solutions to the us to pause, assess, and reflect. If we walk away from issue at hand and frequently exacerbates the situatiuon. the situation and take a few minutes, or even a few In contrast, becoming aware of the anger attempts to days, to think through the problem constructively, the stop the emotion immediately. The goal is controlling rage most certainly loses its intensity.
and preventing anger rather than expressing it in deJainism shows a strong connection between karmic structive ways. bondage and anger. The higher the intensity of anger, In addition to becoming aware of our anger, we can the stronger the bondage and the more serious the also utilize a huge reservoir of positive emotions, such impact on one's destiny. When a person walks away as humility, tolerance, love, and forgiveness. These from an anger-provoking experience, he should think feelings help us alleviate anger if it occurs. In the Jain about how that anger can harm his future. In addition, faith, we follow the example of Lord Mahavir, Jain Enwhether Jain or non-Jain, a person should use the time lightened Master, who was tortured, beaten, and to consider the following:
abused several times but never became angry. Alow for the possibility that we may be wrong.
One day, Lord Mahavir was meditating in woods. A Listen to the other party.
shepherd approached him and asked him to look after Look at the situation from other person's point of his cows while he went for an errand, not realizing that view.
the man was deep in meditation. When the shepherd See if it is a fair criticism. Perhaps you can learn returned, he found that the cows had wandered away from the feedback.
because Lord Mahavir had not taken care of them as Be gentle to others. We ourselves are far from be- he had requested. The shepherd got angry and started ing perfect
beating him. Lord Mahavir stayed clam. When the shepLaugh it off!
herd realized his mistakes and apologized, Lord Ask: Why am I wasting precious time brooding over Mahavir forgave him. Lord Mahavir's deep awarness what can't be changed? It is better to look ahead and of his emotions prevented anger from originating and prepare than to look back and regret.
thus from ever being expressed. Focus on worthwhile long-term goals, and ignore When Lord Jesus Chirst was being crucified, he did the minor irritations of life.
not get angry. Instead, he uttered the famous words Remember it is a lot easier to change ourselves out of compassion: 'Lord, forgive them. They know not than others.
what they are doing'. Granted, not many of us can reThink: 'This shall pass, too.' Remember everything spond the way the spiritual masters of many religions in life is transient.
have done in the past but there are other ways disIntrospection on the above points can calm us down cussed above that can be effectively used in daily livand make us think from a different perspective. ing. The whole idea is not to start a cycle of revenge
Some people may ask: What do we do about riah- when some one misbehaves. Perhaps we can find more teous anger,' or feelings that arise from compassion peaceful and creative ways to manage unpleasant situand justice? In my opinion, anger based upon noble ations without getting angry or upset. intention, compassion, and justice is really not anger, Stressful situations will come, but it is our choice as there is no ego or feeling of revenge involved. whether to allow ourselves to get angry or not. The key People usually express this emotion to improve the is being aware of our emotions as they arise. ***
