Mari Mangalyatra

Author(s): Sunandaben Vohra
Publisher: Anandsumangal Parivar
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/001999/1

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aied aisiacuisin gianba nan www n Yu

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mArI maMgalayAtrA lekhaka: sunaMdAbahena voharA . * subhASitam : saMto, sano, sAdhujanono saMga-prasaMga e to saMsAra sAgara tarI javAnI nAva che. avanInuM amRta che. e gaMgAsAgara jevo nirmaLa che. e saMga jene, jayAre, jayAM maLe tyAM mANajo. A pustakamAM evo saMga, zabdazruta dvArA kaMIka prApta thaze.

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pustakanuM nAma : mArI maMgalayAtrA lekhaka : sunaMdAbahena vohorA prakAzake : AnaMdasumaMgala parivAra amerIkA amadAvAda. prakAzana varSa : I.sa. 2006 prathama AvRtti nakala : 1,800 1. sunaMdAbahena vohorA 5, mahAvIra sosAyaTI, amadAvAda gujarAta. 380 007. bhArata phona : 26587954 ra. jaina prakAzana vIra saMvata H 253ra * prApti sthAna * 3. 32, khatrInI khaDakI, dozIvADAnI poLa, amadAvAda-380 001. phona : 25356806 vikrama saMvata : 2062 Kalpana P. Shah 992 Mc. nair Dr. Lansdale PA 19446 U.S.A. Tel. : 2153625598 4. Urvashi V. Shah 24122 HUBER Ave Torrance CA 90501-6720 U.S.A. Tel. : 310 326 5685 mudraka : zAlibhadra ophaseTa prinTarsa 237-8, pahele mALa, gaMjabajAra, junA mAdhupurA, amadAvAda-380004. phona : (079) 221 21 021

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svijana mitrone saMbodhana (sau prathama vAMcavA yogya) vAstavamAM jIvana e yAtrA ja che, jIvananA cakro jemAM gati-pragatimAna rahyA che. eTale meM AgaLa jaNAvyuM che ke A dharmakathA ke parAkrama kathA nathI, paraMtu sAMsArika ane AdhyAtmika jIvananA anubhavo che. vaLI A lekhanamAM kevaLa mArA sAMsArika jIvananA sukhad duHkhad prasaMgo che eTaluM ja nahi paraMtu vividha sAdhu-gurujanInA paricaya sAthe bodhavacano che. paMDitajanonA jIvanano jIvaMta saMdeza che. sAdhakonI sAdhanA mArganI uttama jhalaka che. sAmAjika rIte dIna duHkhI mAnavonI kathanI che. maMgalayAtrAnA A vividha pAsAo che. te lagabhaga pragatizIla rahyA che, tenuM kAraNa temAM prAraMbhathI ja saMtakRpA maLI che. vAcaka mitrone eka sUcana ke pustakanuM moTuM kada joI muMjhAtA nahi tame te kadane nAnuM banAvI zako cho. e mATe prathama anukrama joI lejo. pachI tamArI rasarUci pramANe viSaya nakkI karajo. bhojana samAraMbhamAM pUrI thALI pIraselI mane koI pUruM bhojana Aroge, koI amUka vastu pasaMda karI premapUrvaka Aroge, basa tamAre evuM karavAnuM che. A pustaka tamArA saunA "bahena'nAM jIvananuM tAraNa che. eTale bahenathI paricita cho to A pustaka tamane bolatuM lAgaze. temAM tame saue je yogadAna karyuM che tenuM mane hArdika mUlya che. paraMtu tenA karatA vizeSa tame tene vAMcazo, vicArazo, vinimaya karazo teno mane AnaMda che ane raheze. have ApaNe kayAreka pratyakSa maLazuM. paraMtu tamArA pAse mAruM pUruM jIvana zabda-zratarUpe maLe che. mArI taraphanA sabhAvanI jema pustaka sAthe paricaya rAkhazo to AnaMda thaze. temAM saMtonI saravANIne punaH punaH ghUMTajo. gurujanoe dharmano marma hArdikapaNe jaNAvyo che, tenuM mAtra atre Acamana mUkyuM che. atyAra sudhImAM pacAsa jevA pustako lakhyA temAM ghaNI sahajatA ane saraLatA rahI. A pustakamAM kayAreka vikalpa uThato ke kayAMya alpokita ke atizayokti thaI haze? je je vyaktio

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A viSe yogasaMyoga lakhyA temAM paNa alpokti ke atizayokti thaI haze. kyAMka doSadarzana thayuM haze ! vaLI viddhatujano, sAdhako, ane sAdhusaMtono paricaya tathA upadezavacanonA ullekhamAM aviveka thayo haze ? chatAM saunA sadUbhAvathI, mArA mananI sadbhayatAthI, sau pratye AdarabhAvathI lakhyuM che tevI mArI samaja sau svIkArajo. chatAM kaMI kSati lAge to tene vyaktirUpe na letA samagrabhAve nihALajo, sAthe kSamAbhAva rAkhavA vinaMti che. mArA pustako vIseka varSathI lagabhaga bhagavatI presamAM zrI rohitabhAI koThArInA mArgadarzanathI prakAzita thatA. dareka rIte suMdara ane saMtoSajanaka kArya thatuM hatuM. A vakhate amArA satsaMgI jyotibahena sAthe temanA pati parAgabhAI satsaMgamAM AvatA. temaNe jANyuM ke huM mArI maMgalayAtrA lakhI rahI chuM. ekavAra kahe ke "A pustakano lAbha mane Apo.' meM kahyuM ke, lAbha ApuM ane kAma ApuM jethI baMnenI bhAvanA jaLavAya ne ! tame satsaMgI cho eTale AdapremathI karazo te lAbha che. vaLI tamArA paricayamAM tamArI kuzaLatA vartAya che. eTale kArya uttama rIte thaze teno vizvAsa che. kharekhara tema ja thayuM teo satsaMganA mAdhyamathI paricita che. eTale A lekhanamAM temanA sUcano upayogI thayA. A kAryamAM temanI kuzaLatAne kAraNe pUrA pustakamAM kayAM zuM pheraphAra karavA, vaLI pustakadarzana janasamAjanA netrone nihALavuM game tevI racanA karavI teno zrama temaNe karyo tethI pustaka sAyaMta suMdara rIte prakAzita thayuM che. te mATe daMpatine abhivAdana ApuM chuM. A yAtrAmAM vividharUpe yAtrI banelA saunuM abhivAdana karuM chuM. koIe patrarUpe potAnA bhAvanuM saheje lekhana karyuM. koIe lakhavA preraNA karI, koI svajanoe prasaMgo dvArA yAtrAmAM sAtha Apyo. koIe yogadAna karyuM. sAdhakoe sAtha Apyo ane sAdhu-gurujano e to zubhAzISa dvArA kRpA ja varasAvI. AthI aMtamAM kahyuM ke AmAM mArA kazuM nahi eTale saunuM saune arpaNa karI viramuM chuM. AgaLa maLIe chIe. - sunaMdAbahena vohorA

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bodha sUcita mudrA adhyAtmayogI pU.A. zrI vijayakalApUrNasUrijI lagabhaga eka dAyakA uparAMtanA samayamAM vividha sthaLoe savizeSa jJAnasAra graMthanI aMgata noMdhamAMthI mane bodha ApatI A mudrA mArA jIvananI Atmonnati mATe cira smaraNiya raheze. koTizaH vaMdana.

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caraNapu koTizaH vaMdana AgamavettA pU. zrI jaMbUvijayajI bhaktayogI pU. zrI yazovijayasUrijI jaina zAsana prabhAvaka rava. pU. zrI bhadraMkarasUrijI zAstra saMzodhaka pravacana prabhAvaka Jain Education is ugdolzfy For Private & Personal use Usi cozjezzy ibrary.org

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> 6 = | mArI maMgalayAtrAnuM aSTamaMgala vividha pustaka prakAzanamAM pU.AcArya bhagavaMtonA dharmalAbha ane zubhAzISanuM A avataraNa che. suzrAvikA sunaMdAbahena dharmalAbha "muktibIja" pustakanuM lakhANa joyuM, jemAM tame samyagadarzananuM mAhAbhya ane vizeSatA darzAvavA mahApuruSonA graMthamAMthI saMkalana karyuM che tethI te pramANabhUta jaNAya che. temAM vividha viSayonuM saMkalana hovAthI zrAvakone ghaNuM ghaNuM upayogIjJAna A pustakamAMthI prApta thaze, saMtajanonI maLelI kRpAthI ane tamArA vizALa vAMcana-abhyAsathI suMdara suMdara viSayonuM avataraNa graMthomAMthI cUMTIghUMTIne ekatra karyuM che te jijJAsu jIvone ghaNuM upayogI che. vaLI ratnakaraMDa zrAvakAcAra Adi digaMbara AmnAyanA graMthonA AdhAre keTaluMka lakhANa levAmAM AvyuM che, te paNa te te graMthono A viSayomAM vivecanA tathA vicAradhArA kevI che te jANavAmAM abhyAsIone upayogI thaze tame jaNAvo cho tema paradezamAM baMne AmnAyanA jijJAsuo ekaThA maLIne svAdhyAya satsaMga kare che tethI saune mATe prastuta pustakanI vividha vicAraNA rocaka banaze. AvA suMdara viSayanI saMkalanA karavA mATe tathA te te viSayonA tamArA vizALa vAMcananA AdhAre thatA pravacanonA nimittathI deza paradezamAM AvA tAttvika viSayamAM sau rasa letA thayA che, te paramArtha kArya mATe ghaNA ghaNA abhinaMdana che. tame sva-para zreya karatA raho, ane sAthe tamArA jIvanamAM vizeSapaNe tAttvika sAdhanA thatI rahe tevI zubhAzISa che. devagurukRpAe atre sukhazAtA che. tamane paNa ho. jaMbUvijayanA dharmalAbha paMcAsara tA. viramagAma. gujarAta che phAgaNa suda 15-2219

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dharmapremI zrI sunaMdAbahena, vijayakalApUrNasUrinA dharmalAbha adhyAtmasAra para saraLa bhAvArtha lakhI rahyAM cho, te jANI AnaMda thayo. mahAna zAstrakAra upAdhyAya zrI yazovijayajIe jJAnasAra, adhyAtmasAra jevA sArabhUta grantho lakhIne kharekhara sAdhako para ghaNo upakAra karyo che, haribhadrasUrijI ma.nA pagale cAlIne emaNe Agamono sAra loko samakSa rajU karyo che. emaNe mAtra vidvAno ja vAMcI zake tevA ja grantha nathI banAvyA, sAmAnya mANaso paNa vAMcI zake, samajI zake, sanmArga para gamana karI zake, evI gujarAtI racanAo paNa karI che. adhyAtmasAra graMtha emanI pAse mAtra tarkathI parikarmita buddhi ja nahotI, bhaktithI madhura hRdaya paNa hatuM. tarkathI pragalla prajJA ane sAdhanAthI paripakava jIvananA svAmI upA. zrI yazovijayajI jevI vibhUtio seMkaDo varSe ekAda ja pedA thatI hoya che. temane adhyAtma para khUba ja uMDo prema hato. sAdhanAnA prabhAvathI teo Atmika anubhava prApta karI cUkayA hatA. evuM temanA grantho vAMcavAthI spaSTa jaNAya che. adhyAtmasAra nAmanA prastuta granthamAM emaNe sAdhako samakSa saMpUrNa sAdhanAmArga pradarzita karyo che emAM paNa Atmanizcaya adhikAra, anubhavAdhikAra to khAsa vAMcavA, samajavA jevA che. A granthanA sahAre gurugama dvArA sAdhaka jo sAdhanA karato rahe to aneka mata-matAMtaronI jALamAM te kadI bhUlo paDe nahi. madrAsa tA. 25-2-96 - vijayakalApUrNasUri da

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adhyAtmasAra granthanI AMtarika vAta suzrAvikA sunaMdAbahena pUjyapAda gurudeva zrImAna vijaya kastUrasUrizvarajI mahArAjAne pU. upAdhyAyajI yazovijyajI ma.nA jJAnasAra ane adhyAtmasAra graMtha aMgeno AMtarika lagAva vakhatovakhata ghaNI vAra jovA maLyo che. A baMne graMtho aMge ciMtanAtmaka navanIta prasaMgopAta sAMbhaLavA paNa maLyuM che. ane tethI ja te pUjyazrI cAturmAsika ke vArSika AlocanA mAMganAra ArAdhakone AlocanA ApatA tyAre jIvadaLa jo tattva rucivALo ne sujJa hoya to A baMne graMtho paikI koI paNa eka grantha mukhapATha karavA ApatAM ane e zakaya na hoya to A baMne granthonA bhASAMtara paNa vAMcI javA acUka AlocanA aMge ApatAM meM joyAM che. mArI saMyamayAtrAnI prAthamika avasthAmAM baMne graMtho aMgeno abhiprAya pUjayazrIne pUchatAM teozrInI e rasaprada evI tattvagarbhita mArmika chaNAvaTa sAMbhaLatA pUjyazrInI AdhyAtmika uMcAIno uMcAmAM uMco khyAla prathamavAra mane maLyo. teo pUjyazrInI umeda hatI ke jema ajainone gItAjIno svAdhyAya jarUrI gaNAyo che tema ApaNA caturvidha saMghanI pratyeka vyaktinA jIvanamAM A be graMthono abhyAsa atyanta Avazyaka che. AvA jJAna ane adhyAtmanA graMthano bhAvAnuvAda karavA mumukSu saMnaMdAbahena vohorAne pre2NA karatAM teoe pU. paMnyAsa zrI gaMbhIravijyajI ma.nI adhyAtmasAra uparanI TIkAnA bhASAMtarane kendramAM rAkhI A adhyAtmasAra granthano gujarAtImAM je bhAvAnuvAda karyo che ane te aMge teoe potAnA kSayopazamathI je parizrama karyo che te aMge teonI zrutabhakti prazaMnIya ane amumodanIya gaNI zakAya tevI che. adhyAtmanA sArabhUta padArthonA jijJAsuo A bhAvAnuvAda vAMcI jIvanamAM potAnI AMtarika kSatio, uNapo, doSo ane karmamaLane dUra karI adhyAtmapUrNa pUrNatAne pAme e ja aMtaranI zubhecchA sAthe emanA parizramanuM phaLa gaNIe. pAlItANA phA.su.15. 5-3-96 - vijaya caMdrodayasUrinA dharmalAbha -

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- Fe karo nivedya) (pudgalano parivAra paramArthanI prApti) suzrAvikA sunaMdAbahena bhadraguptasUrinA dharmalAbha o mArA mana ! parabhAvanAM AvaraNo cIrIne jarA mukta thA, jethI AtmavicArarUpa caMdanavRkSanI zItala havA tane sparzI zake !" mahattvapUrNa prazna e che ke AtmavicAra have karavo che ? atyAra sudhI to jIvAtmAe pudgalano vicAra ja vadhAre pramANamAM karyo che. anaMta janmothI 5dUgalabhAvonI ja ramaNatA jIve karI che. have AtmavicAra karavo che? to eka kAma avazya karavuM paDaze; pagalabhAva ke je parabhAva che, e pugalabhAvonAM AvaraNane cIrI nAkhavA paDaze. padUgalabhAvonAM AvaraNo naSTa karavA mATe pagalabhAvonI anarthakAritA tathA bhayaMkaratA ane paramArthanuM svarUpa jANavuM paDaze, samajavuM paDaze. pagalagItAmAM yogI cidAnaMdajIe pudagalabhAvonI anarthakAritA ane bhayaMkaratA samajAvI che. kharekhara, kurukSetra upara zrI kRSNa arjunane gItAno bodha jema Apyo, tema bhItaranA kurukSetra upara, pudgalabhAvarUpa kauravono saMhAra karavAno upadeza cidAnaMdajIe viSAdagrasta banelA sAdhakane Apyo che. eTale A kAvyanuM nAma emaNe "pugalagIta ApyuM che. suzrAvikA sunaMdAbahena adhyAtmamArganAM pravAsI che. teo zraddhAnaMta to che ja, sAthesAthe samyagujJAnanA upAsaka che ! emAMya A kAvya upara vivecana lakhavA, meM ja emane prerita karyA hatAM; ane temaNe e vivecana lakhyuM ! saraLa, suMdara ane svAdiSTa banyuM che vivecana. enuM nAmakaraNa temaNe "pudgalano parihAra ane paramArthanI prApti' ApyuM che te vivecananA mAdhyamathI sArthaka che. pudgalagItApudgalano parivAra eTale paramArthanI prAptinuM vAcana-manana ane ciMtana karI sahu jIvAtmAo pugalabhAvomAM anAsakta bano. AtmajJAnamAM ane paramArthaprAptimAM nimagna bano, evI maMgalakAmanA sAthe viramuM chuM. 65, zyAmala ro-hAusa, 3-e, - bhadraguptasUri seTelAITa, amadAvAda-380 015. tA. 24-11-1997 da'

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amRtadhArAgraMtha sujJa zrI sunaMdAbahenanuM nAma AdhyAtmika rasa dharAvatA vartuLamAM AjakAla supere paricita che. A agAu temanAM saMkhyAbaMdha pustako prakAzita paNa thayAM che. chatAM A pustaka aneka ghaTanA (kuMbhanA) jaLane potAnA ghaTamAM jhIlIne sujJa-bhAvaka vAcakone aMjali-aMjalie pAna karAvyuM che. amRtanI dhArAne jhIlavA vAcaka jo sajja hoya to tenI dhaNA vakhatanI bhramaNAnuM cokkasa nirasana thaI jaze. tarasa chipAze. pR. 68-69 upara je vAkyakhaMDa che te paNa ApaNI e viSayanI samajane vistAre to che ja, paNa ApaNI te bAbatanI samajaNanA uMDANamAM vadhAro kare che. eka vAta nakkI che - A pustakane (amRtadhArA) vArtAnA pustakanI jema vAMcIne mUkI devAnuM nathI; tenA hArdane AtmasAta karavA mATe vAraMvAra vAMcavA jevuM che. tenAthI Atmika vikAsamAM pragati thaze ane zuddhadaSTino ughADa thaze te vAta nakkI che. sAdhakane to satata eka maMtranuM smaraNa rahevuM joIe ke AtmAnA guNa vikAse sAtatya ane guNa vizeSe sthiratA keLavavAnI che. tenAthI ja dhIredhIre paNa lakSya siddha thaI zake che. A ja ApaNA jIvananI phaLazruti che. AnA vAcana dvArA dharmarasika jIvonI zuddha cetanA vistAra pAmo - (amRtadhArA graMtha) vi.saM 2060 mahA vadi-pAMcama-budhavAra devakInaMdana jaina upAzraya, paliyaDanagara pAse, nAraNapurA, amadAvAda-13. e ja zrI nemi-amRta-devahemacandrasUri ziSya pradyumnasUri. < *

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hRdaya pradIpa chatrIsI bhItara jhaLAMhaLAM hRdayapradIpa patrizikA... aMdaranA aMdhArAne ulecIne hRdayane jhaLAMhaLAM banAvanAra chatrIsa kaDIo... (hRdayapradIpa chatrIsI) A graMthanI eka eka kaDImAM hRdayane prakAzita karavAnuM sAmarthya che. bhAvaka kaDIone gaNagaNato jAya, e vedhaka zabdo hRdayanI ArapAra pahoMcI jAya... ajavALuM ja ajavALuM... pU. vIravijya mahArAja sAheba kahe che : "vedhakatA vedhaka lahe, bIjA beThA vA khAya..." bhAvaka cetanA A kaDIomAM, enA vivecanamAM jhaboLAI uThaze... jANItA sarjaka zrI harIndra davenI eka paMkti yAda Ave : "bhItara jhaLAMhaLAM che prakAzanuM zuM thaze ?' bhItara prakAza relAI uThayo. have bahAranA prakAzano zo artha ? "hRdayapradIpa patrizikA para astitvanuM paroDha' pustakamAM traNa vidvadarya AcArya pravaroe vivecanA ApI. prastuta graMthamAM e ja graMtha paranI bahujanahRdayane sparzI jatI majhAnI saMvedanA sunaMdAbahenanA aMtaHpUta hRdayamAMthI jhareluM A zabda jharaNuM aneka bhAvakonA cittane nirmaLa banAvaze e ja bhAvanA. kArtika sudi 15, vi. 2061 - AcArya yazovijyasUri zaNagAra hola, dazA poravADa sosAyaTI, amadAvAda.

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hRdaya pradIpa chatrIsI suvicAranI chAbane preme vadhAvIe gaI | vizvamAM Arogyano eka niyama pravarte che ke jayAre rogacALo phelAvA lAge ke turta tenA pratikAra mATenA upAyo bharapUra pramANamAM yojavAmAM Ave che. jAhera dainikamAM prajAjoga sUcanAo ApavAmAM Ave che. davAno puSkaLa pramANamAM chaMTakAva karavAmAM Ave che. te roganI pratirodhaka rasI mUkavAno paNa kAryakrama jhuMbezarUpe calAvavAmAM Ave che. basa Aje durvicAra ane durgAnano rogacALo phelAyo che tyAre tenA pratirodha mATenA bharacaka upAyo sajjanoe yojavA ja rahyA. suvicArono mAro calAvavAmAM Ave, eTale badhI rIte e durvicArone khALavA mATe prayatno karavA ja rahyA. jene je sUjhe te rIte e upAya yoje ane durvicAranA humalAne maMda ane aMte nAbUda banAve te AjanI tAtI jarUrata che. te abhiyAnanAM bhAgarUpe ja sunaMdAbahena voharA eka zubhavicAranI chAba laIne AvyAM che. ApaNe saue tene susvAgatam kahevAnuM che, premabharyo sasmita AvakAra pAmavAno che. ahIM 36 dIvaDA evA tejavaMta peTAvavAmAM AvyA che, tenA tejovalayathI ApaNI hRdayaguhAmAM yugo jUnAM aMdhArAM DerAtaMbU tANIne paDayAM che tene dhrujArI vachUTe tevo ujAsa A dIvaDAmAM che. mana bharIne pharIpharI e dIvaDAnA ajavALAne apanAvIe cittane tenA vaDe mAMjIe evI e ja zubhecchA - amadAvAda-13. nAraNapurA, mAga-1.4 2061 zrI nemi-amRta-devahemacandraziSya pradyumnasUri 1 1

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dharmapremI suzrAvikA sunaMdAbena yogya dharmalAbha siddhAMtano artha ApaNe A paNa karI zakIe ke jene jIvanamAM AtmasAt karavAthI AtmA aMte siddha banIne ja rahe tenuM nAma siddhAMta. dUra dezamAM gaMbhIra gaNAtA tAttvika viSayane saraLatAthI samajAvI tame tyAMnA vargane zraddhAvAna banAvI sadAcAravAna banAvavAmAM je saphaLatA hAMsala karo cho te jANI AnaMda thAya rojIMdA jIvana vyavahAramAM prabhu AjJAno sparza anubhavavA maLe e sAce ja virala parAkrama che. evuM parAkrama karanArA viralAonI saMkhyA vadhatI jAya temAM nimitta banavAno lAbha maLe sva-para zreya thAya. deva-guru kRpAe atre AnaMda-maMgaLa varte che. tyAM paNa tema ja haze. gaI kAle sAMjanA ja tamAro patra maLyo. tamArA saMsmaraNonA bahAra paDanAra pustakane "mArI maMgalayAtrA' e nAma ApavAnuM nakkI karyuM e jANI khUba AnaMda thayo. - sAcA arthamAM e pustaka vAcakonI jIvanayAtrAne maMgalayAtrAmAM rUpAMtarita karI devA mATe protsAhaka banyuM rahe eja aMtaranI zubhakAmanA... ame Ajaroja jayapuramAM praveza karyo che. 12 bhAvanAnI anuprekSA hAlamAM cAlI rahI che e jANI AnaMda thayo. hamaNAM ja sAdhu bhagavaMtone apAyela vAcanAmAM eka vAta e karI ke "bIjA mATe ApaNe je karIe e ApaNI zakti che. paNa bIjAnuM ApaNe prasannatApUrvaka sahIe e ApaNo prema che. jIvanamAM zakti jarUra ubhI karIe paNa zakti karatAM ya premane ApaNe vadhu prAdhAnya ApatA rahIe." eja zubhakAmanA sAthe - ratnasuMdarasUri 1 2

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maMgalayAtrAnA sanmitronuM abhivAdana mArI maMgalayAtrA lakhavAmAM preraka ane sahayoganA sAthIo jemaNe mArI amerIkAnI satsaMgayAtrA sArthaka karavAmAM tana-mana-dhanathI Adara Apyo che. yadyapi teo saunA jIvanano e eka subhaga avasara hato, ane Aje che tema paNa kahuM, kAraNake phona, patra ane sahayoga dvArA saMparkanA aMkoDA guMthAyelA ja che. meM to saheje jaNAvyuM ke "mArI maMgalayAtrA' lakhAya che ane saue tene saharSa vadhAvI lIdhI. Avo sAtvika Atmiya sahayoga anyonya zreyArtha mATe saphaLa thayo che. teno mane AnaMda che. sau mitronI "nA" chatAM mArA AnaMdanI abhivyakti mATe A nAma gAma ane dAma yukta zubha nAmAvali prastuta karI che. kayAMya kSati hoya to sudhAravA apekSA che. saune hArdika abhivAdana. - saunA 'bahena' losa enjalisa yu. esa. e. harasukha ane AnaMdI zAha zrI suzIlAbahena girIzabhAI zAha hiMsA ane narendra zAha zrI vINA mahendra khaMdhAra lIlAvatI ena. zAha zrI bIjala ane mAlu pradIpa ane maMjarI zAha hemendra ane rekhA dozI AnaMda ane yogI zAha kizora ane dhAminI zAha nya jarsI jaina saMgha dilIpa ane suSmA pArekha rajanI ane arUNAbena rohaka ane smitA zAha rameza ane premIlAbena mahendra ane harSidA zAha sumati ane zailAbena kAmadAra rasIlAbena zAha anila ane hemalatAbena zAha vIrendra ane urvazI zAha Da. mahendra ane anilAbena zAha yogeza ane saurabha zAha lakSmIbahena dharamazI zAha nikhila ane hInA dhAmI kusumabahena zAha loMga AIlenDa nyuyorka jaina saMgha savitAbahena ane Da. maNIlAla mahetA sudhAbahena praphullabhAI lAkhANI maheza ane mItA zAha vaizAlI satIzabhAI zAha pradIpa ane bInA zAha rohitabhAI ane pUrNimAbena dozI navIna ane smItA zAha pravINa ane bhAvinIbena vAMkANI hasmitA ane caMdrakAnta pArekha prakAzabhAI ane devI mahetA sUrajI ane urmilA gaDA seMTa luIsa jaina saMgha kizorI ane dhIrU zAha bharata ane devIbena zAha vijaya ema. zeTha zAraloTa jena saMdha rameza ane dInA pArekha vijayabhAI ane nalInIbahena dozI

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kalIvalenDa ohAyo haMsAbena ane vinoda sutariyA smItA ane dilIpa maNiyAra caMdrikA ane prabhudAsa lAkhANI nalInI ane hasamukha zAha AzA ane dilIpa nArIcanIyA zikAgo smRti zazIkAMta zAha hyusTana vasaMtabahena ke. TI. zAha cerIhIla nyujarsI zrI prazAnta ane varSo pArekha praviNabhAI rAjeza cheDA lensaDela pIe kalpanA praviNabhAI zAha dAminI narendra zAha masAmI bhAvanA janakakumAra zAha pisabarga lInA bharatakumAra dalAla gItA caMdrakAMta zAha DeTroITa mIzIganA rakSA paMkajabhAI zAha aTalAnTA. madhubahena jagadIzacaMdra zeTha rAle jyoti kirITakumAra zAha DalAsa DalAsa jaina daherAsara saMgha vozingaTana DIsI bInAbahena mahetA yojJA narendra goDA zrI sudhAbahena eca. zAha zrI vAsaMtIbena saMghavI zIlpA ajItabhAI zAha arUNAbena ane atulabhAI zAha nayanAbena talasAniyA jayotibahena saMghavI oralAnDo jena saMgha dayAbahena pAnAcaMda mehatA parivAra hAla TempA phalorIDA (rAjakoTa) zrI caMdrakAMta ane jhona dozI zrI sUryakAMta ane uSA davAvAlA zrI zaileza ane nItA zAha zrI rAjendra ane kumuda mehatA zrI kSamA ane hInA zAha zrI dIpaka ane dharmI zAha nAIrobI-kenyA zrI jayAbahena somacaMda zAha TorenTo-keneDA. vanitAbahena lakSmIcaMda nAgadA AnaMda sumaMgala parivAra, amadAvAda zrI saMghavI parivAra amadAvAda zrI caMdrikAbahena mahendrabhAI pUnAtara (hAla muMbaI) zrI nautamabhAI ra. vakIla zrI prajJAbahena gautamabhAI nANAvaTI nItAbahena girISabhAI nANAvaTI kalpanAbahena vi. dozI puSpAbahena kAMtIlAla zAha jyotibahena kalyANabhAI zAha manAlIbena tathA jIganabhAI zAha pakSAbahena dIlIpakumAra zAha sAmAyika maMDaLa jena maracanTa, amadAvAda 14

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vibhAgIkaraNa - viSacasUci prastuta pustakanuM daLa joI tame muMjhAzo nahi. nIce pramANe vibhAgIkaraNa joI tamane anukULa viSaya pasaMda karI vAMcavAnuM zarU karajo. prathama pAnAthI vAMcavAno Agraha rAkhavo jarUrI nathI. 1. maMgalayAtrA viSeno marma 2. 3. 4. 5. janma bAlyAvasthA H cAra varSa sudhI saMpanna mAtApitAnA vAtsalyamAM uche2. tyAra pachI mAtAnI ciravidAya. moTIbahene mAtulya uche2 karyo. bALapaNa doSa-sadoSamAM vItyuM. koI vizeSatA na hatI. zizuvaya : janmathI cauda varSano samaya. zikSaNamAM kuzaLatA hatI. mitromAM Adaprema hato. vargamAM netAgIrI jevuM pradAna hatuM. prAthamika zikSaNamAM sAta dhoraNa sudhIno abhyAsa pUrNa karyo. sAMsArika pariNIta jIvana saurabha : cauda varSanI vaye zALAethI sIdho ja sAsare praveza. gRhakAryanuM zikSaNa maLyuM. pati sAthe sarva prakAre sukhada jIvanano samaya hato. sAthe dharmanAM bIjanI vAvaNIno yoga maLyo. sukha- sAmagrIthI bharapUra saMpannatA hatI. kuTuMbIjanonAM jIvana sAttvika hatAM. pArivArika saMbaMdhonA RNAnubaMdha : putra-putrI be saMtAnonI prApti sAta varSanA gALAmAM thaI hatI. baMne kuTuMbomAM sAttvikatA ane saMpannatA hatI. bhAgyodaye ghaNuM parivartana thayuM. temAM saunI leNadeNa pramANe saMgharSa ane samAdhAna thatAM rahyA. amadAvAdathI muMbaI dhaMdhArthe sthaLAMtara : muMbaImAM paNa moTuM makAna, anya vipula sAmagrI, adyatana sAdhano, svataMtra jIvana, patinI ujjavaLa kArakirdI, kauTumbika jIvana zArIrika mAnasika sukhathI chalakAtuM. be bALako sAthe sukhada saMyoga. AchAM pAtaLAM dhArmika anuSThAno thatAM hatAM teno AnaMda hato. vaLI sAthe mAnavasevAkArya karatI hatI. pU. zrI kAnajIsvAmInA bodhanI prApti(14 thI 28 varSano samaya) kALanI phALa ane vaidhavyarUpa viSamatA : uparanI hakIkata cAra divasanA cAMdaraNA jevI puravAra thaI. jagatasthiti pramANe kSaNika sAbita 15

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thaI. mAnavI badhAM joSa-muhUrta jovarAve. A mRtyunuM muhUrta to tenA samaye Ave. pAMceka divasanI bImArI bhogavI patinuM tetrIsa varSanI bhara yuvAna vaye aramAnabharyuM jIvana samApta thayuM. mArI vaya pUrAM aThThAvIsa varSanI hatI. muMbaIthI punaH amadAvAda bhaNI : keTalAka anivArya saMyogone kAraNe punaH amadAvAda sthaLAMtara karyuM. jo ke te samaye paristhiti vikaTa hatI paNa samaya jatAM kaMIka kaLa vaLI, temAM paMDita janonA saMparkathI zAMti ane samAdhAna maLatuM gayuM. savizeSa pU. paM. sukhalAlajInA samAgamathI mananI svasthatA keLavAtI gaI. sAmAjika kAryanA kSetramAM praveza : amadAvAdamAM samAjakalyANanI grAmavistAramAM bALamahilA pravRttinA kSetre saMtoSajanaka sevAkArya tathA apaMga mAnavamaMDaLanI sthApanA dvArA apaMgonuM zikSaNa ane svAvalaMbananuM kArya prasAra pAmyuM. sAmAjika sevA sAthe saMta samAgamano yogaH AcAryazrI rajanIzajI tathA AdaraNiyazrI vimalAtAI ThakAra sAthe dhyAna maunanI sAdhanA tathA himAlayanI satsagayAtrAo. zrImad rAjacaMdranI pAvana bhUminI sparzanA zreSTha sAdhakono samAgama, sAdhanA kendra kobAmAM ArAdhanA, laMDana-AphrikA paradezanI satsagayAtrAnuM nirmANa sAmAjikakSetranA nivRtti. 10. pU. AcAryazrInI nizrAmAM : zAstrAnusArI ArAdhanAno krama, anya kSetranI nivRtti, nivAse satsaMgI baheno sAthe vividha zAstromAM svAdhyAya. 1989mAM amerIkAno sakAraNa pravAsa : 1991 thI 2004 amerIkAnI sArthaka satsagayAtrA 12. adhyAtmayogI guruvarya pU. zrI vijayakalApUrNasUrijInI nizrAmAM bodhaprApti ane AdhyAtmika jIvananI pUrtinI niHzaMkatAnuM pradAna. 13. moTara akasmAtathI gaMbhIra mAMdagI : azAtAnA yogamAM bodhano saMketa, sAdhujano, sanmitro-svajanono avirata saddabhAva. 14. guNAnurAgI mitrono aMtarabhAva, samIkSA. 9. 16

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mArI maMgalayAtrAno marma karUNAno tuM sAgara moTo, nAnI che muja naiyA, jhaMjhAvAte jALavaje ho, bhavasAgara khevaiyA. nAvika tuM che mAro, huM sAtha mAMguM chuM, caraNe AvI svAmI, tamAro hAtha mAMguM chuM. to che ? maMgalakArI pAvanadhAma tAruM maMdira che bhagavAna, tAruM maMdira che bhagavAna pAponuM che pUrNa virAma.

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pU. A. zrI ratnasuMdarasUrijInI jJAnatijorI (pustaka) mAMthI sadguNonA arjana dvArA jyAM AtmA prabhutvanI bhUmikAne sparzI javA satata prayatnazIla banyo rahe che e yAtrAnuM nAma maMgalayAtrA'. ahIM kahevAtA sukho kadAca ochA hoya che toya prasannatA to pAra vinAnI hoya che. jayAM kevaLa astitva TakAvI rAkhavA ja jIvanabhara jhajhUmatA rahevuM paDe che e yAtrAnuM nAma jIvanayAtrA che. ahIM kadAca sukha che to biMdu jeTaluM bAkI AkhI jIdaMgI tanAva ja tAnAva che. ahaM puSTa karavA satata vyaktitva ja vikasAvatA rahevAnA prayatno thatA rahe che. jemAM temane kSaNika AnaMda Ave che e yAtrA AnaMdayAtrA che. ahIM puNyayoge ghaNA sukho che paNa temAM sadaguNa kSetre to kaDAko ja hoya che. kAraNa temAM ' nirdoSa AnaMda nathI. - A. zrI ratnasuMdarasUrijI. hae,

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mArI maMgalayAtrAno marma | "mArI maMgalayAtrA." zAstrakAroe maMgalano artha karyo che ke maMgala eTale sukhane lAve, athavA pApane gALe. paraMtu ahIM meM A pustakanuM nAma maMgalayAtrA ApyuM tenuM anusaMdhAna A che : pU. AcArya zrI ratnasuMdarajInI tijorI maLI (pustaka) te kholatAM yAtrA viSeno suMdara abhigama maLyo. "saguNonA arjana dvArA jyAM AtmA prabhutvanI bhUmikAne sparzI javA satata prayatnazIla banyo rahe che e yAtrAnuM nAma "maMgalayAtrA'. ahIM kahevAtAM sukho kadAca ochAM hoya che toya prasannatA to pAra vinAnI hoya che. pU.zrIno samyagu saMparka to hato. temAM vaLI temanA jJAnadhananI tijorImAM yAtrAnuM hArda maLyuM. pustakanA nAma viSe manamAM kaMI vikalpa cAlato hato. paNa chellA keTalAya samayathI eka prabhukRpA UtarI che ke AvA prasaMgonA ukela sAmethI maLI jAya che, tevuM ahIM banyuM che. teozrIe jIvanayAtrAne to satata tanAvavALI ane sukha ke sAra varjita kahI che. "maMgalayAtrA" nAmadhAraNane mArI pUrI yogyatA hAla bhale na hoya paNa bhAvanAe to mane maMgalakArI jaNAI che. te rIte ke janmatAM dAdIe gaLathuthImAM navakAra mahAmaMtra Apyo tyAMthI ajANe mArI maMgalayAtrAno prAraMbha thayo. tyAra pachI temAM tAtkAlika koI vizeSatA na thaI. paraMtu maMtrabIja vavAyuM tema mAnI zakAya. te mahAmaMtra betraNa varSanI uMmare kaMThe vasyo, vaLI vaya vadhatAM te ja mahAmaMtra sUtAM UThatAM cUMTAyo, ane zubha prasaMgomAM gaNAto gayo. Ama ajJAta avasthAmAM maMgalakArI maMtra saMskArarUpe ghaDAto gayo, tenI mAtrA ati alpa hatI. paraMtu te svayaM mahAmaMtra hato tethI sUkSma rIte jaLavAI rahyo, samaye pragaTa thayo. vaLI A maMtra sAsare prathama vAra pragaTa bolavAno thayo tyAre khyAla Avyo ke A maMtra barAbara ghUMTAyo nathI. pachI to te maMtrane ghUMTatAM bIjA ghaNA zubhayoga maLyA te ApaNe prasaMge joIzuM. ahIM to e ja kahevuM che ke A pramANe maMgalayAtrA nAmakaraNa suprayojya jaNAyuM che. prakAza ane aMdhakAra e sanAtana satyo che. te jIvanamAM paNa sarjAtAM hoya che. maMgalayAtrAno prAraMbha e pUrNatA nathI paraMtu zUnyamAMthI sarjana mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-1 19

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thavAnI prakriyA che. kyAreka temAM kevaLa aMdhakAra chavAI jato hoya che. kyAreka prakAza relAI jato jaNAya. AthI gurudeva kahetA : "apUrNamAM rahIne pUrNatA pAmavAno parama puruSArtha prayojavAno che. pApa ane pramAdathI jeTalA dUra eTalA pUrNatAnI najIka thazo. mATe pUrNapaNe pragaTa thayA te paramAtmAne pakaDI rAkho. pachI jyAM paramAtmA tyAM tame hazo." A bhAvanAne pU.zrI pratyethI aneruM poSaNa maLyuM. saddabhAgye teozrI pAsethI vAcanA maLatAM ghaNA asadubhAvone khALavAno mahApuNyodaya prApta thayo, jIvana dhanya banyuM. mitrone eka namra nivedana, A lekhana sagurujanonA bodhanI saravANIo pachI lakhyuM che, eTale dareka prasaMge ke pAne bodhavacano Avaze. te bodha mane maMgalakArI thayo saune thaze tevI bhAvanA kharI. pustakanA nAmanA vikalpo karelA, saMvedananAM saMbhAraNAM athavA jIvanadohana. paraMtu A kevaLa saMvedana ja nathI ke jIvananI tAravaNI pUratuM nathI, paraMtu durlabha evA mAnavajanmamAM "maMgala" sAdhya karavuM, saunuM maMgaLa cAhavuM tevuM AMtarika abhilASAyukta lekhana hovAthI nAmakaLaza maMgalayAtrA" para DhaLyo che. maMgala e Atmika sukha pratye laI janAruM sUcaka che temAM saMvedana to Ave ja che. mArI maMgalayAtrAnA upakArI ane mArgadarzaka ke gurujano viSe je kaMI alpAkSarI ke mitAkSarI paricaya Apyo che te koInA graMthonA AdhAre atre prastuta karyo nathI paraMtu te saunI samIpatAthI, anubhavathI ke zravaNathI je prApta thayeluM tenA AdhAra para che. temAM alpokti thavA pAmI hoya to kSamAyAcanA. saunuM traNa mArA mastake caDheluM raheze te mAruM sadbhAgya che. mArI maMgalayAtrAnuM vizeSa mArgadarzana te samaye yuvAnImAM prathama AcAryazrIthI prAraMbha thayuM hatuM te anya AcAryazrInA samAgame pAMgaryuM ane AcArya zrI kalApUrNasUrijInA caraNamAM zamyuM te puNyayoga che. sau prathama ja jaNAvI dauM ke A navalakathA, parAkramakathA ke dharmakathA nathI. vaLI koI satI ke mahApuruSonuM caritra nathI chatAM janajIvanamAM upayogI thAya tevA jIvananA prasaMgonuM Alekhana che. teno mULa hetu to adhyAtmayoga pratye javAnI dRSTinI mukhyatA che. gRhasthajIvana prabhunA pAvana paMthe prayojAya tevI jijJAsAnuM poSaNa kevI rIte maLe ke maLyuM tenA prasaMgo ane anubhavo che. A pustakanA lekhanano mULa Azaya to e ja kAraNano hato paraMtu ghaNA vicAranA aMte lAgyuM ke uttarArdha pUrvArdhathI vibhAga-1 mArI maMgalayAtrA 20

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samajavo sahelo rahe che. pUrvArdha pAyo che, uttarArdha imArata che. AthI A yAtrA janmathI AlekhI che. sAmAnya mAnavajIvananA prasaMgomAM ke sAdhakanI sAdhanAnA kramamAM vizeSatA zuM hoya! paraMtu dezavidezamAM anekavidha jijJAsu mitro maLyA. keTalAkanI sAthe aMgata paricaya thayA. tyAre nirAMtanI paLomAM jIvanamAM ghaTelI ghaTanAo saheje vyakta thatI. temAM kaDavo-mITho rasa hoya. sukhadaduHkhada prasaMgo hoya, sAmAnya mAnavIo emAMthI pasAra thatA hoya. paraMtu keTalAka mitrone lAgyuM ke mArA jIvananA ghaNA prasaMgo dayabhedaka che ane adhyAtmano yoga to marmasparzI che. keTalAka mitro kahe, "have amAre tamArA jIvananI ghaTanAonA pustakanA sahayogI thavuM che mATe tame jarUrathI lakho." te mitrone lAgyuM ke jo A anubhavo tamArI kalamamAM Utare to gRhasthajIvana jIvatA mAnavane upayogI che. tame saheje badhuM kahyuM paraMtu kharekhara keTalI vIsIe so bane che te AvI tAdazya ghaTanAothI samajAya che. tame ja kahyuM tema abhimanyunA sAta koThA bhedavA jevuM che. Aje jIvonI dhanasaMpatti vadhavA chatAM, parivArano saMkSepa hovA chatAM, bahoLo mitrasaMyoga hovA chatAM, yazakIrti hovA chatAM mAnavanuM jIvana kevuM pAMkhuM che, azAMta che ? vaLI rasarucivALAne dharmasAdhana, zubha saMyoga maLavA chatAM prAye kaMI samAdhAna nathI. - jJAnIoe kahyuM che ke evo mAnava ke jene cittanI svasthatA nathI, nizcita zraddhA nathI te mINanA goLA jevo che. jyAre bodha sAMbhaLe tyAre kaheze gurujano kahe che te so TakA sAcuM che. parivAramAM bese tyAre ene lAge che ke A vAto to savAso TakA jevI sAcI che. Ama mINanI jema garamImAM ogaLe, ThaMDImAM Thare. ane AyakhuM pUruM thAya tyAre paNa nirNaya para AvI na zake ke sAcuM zuM che? temAM vaLI jenI pAse pUrvanA ArAdhananuM vizeSa baLa nathI, vartamAnamAM saMtasaMyoga nathI te jIvo kathaMcita saMsAramAM rajhaLI paDe che. tyAre samajAya che ke jIvanamAM sattva ane tattvanI kevI jarUra che ? A pustakamAM AlekhelI jIvanaghaTanAmAM sAmAnya rIte mAnavajIvananI avasthAonA prakAra che. jemAM bALaavasthA, zizu avasthA, yuvAna avasthA, prauDhAvasthA ane vRddhAvasthA che. paraMtu te dareka avasthAmAM je je ghaTanAo ghaTI temAM vartamAna anubhavanI vizeSatA sAthe AdhyAtmika kSetre, sAdhanA mArI maMgalayAtrA 21 vibhAga-1

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karatAM je je sAdhusaMto ane vyakti vizeSathI je bodha thayo te te bodha dareka prasaMga sAthe ghaTAvyo che. bALa-yuvAna jevI avasthAno jIvanamAM nizcita krama hoya che. AdhyAtmika kSetre krama che paNa temAM kSayopazama hovAthI caDhaUtara thayA kare, koI vyakti potAno nizcita krama kevI rIte darzAve ? zAstramAM krama nihita che, jema ke mAnusArI, samakita, dezavirati, sarvavirati, kSapakazreNI, mukti. caDhaUtara thaIne A krame jIvanane sArthaka karavAnuM che. vAcakane lAgaze te te avasthAmAM tyAre koI bodha pariNamyo na hoya, tethI viSamatAo sarjAI. to pachI te prasaMga sAthe Aje samajAyelo bodha lakhavAnuM prayojana zuM ? ghaTanAo bhale bepAMca ke sAta dasakA pahelAM ghaTI paNa tenuM lekhana je avasthAmAM, je vicAra ke je zraddhAmAMthI pragaTa thayuM, je bodha grahaNa thayo te Aje samajAyuM to pachI te bhUtakALanA prasaMgone bhale prakAza maLe, teno lAbha e che ke je kaMI viSamatAo thaI tene mATeno e upAya banyo ke "AgaLa karelAM pApono pazcAttApa karuM chuM. jema jema sUkSma vicArathI UMDo UtaruM chuM tema tema tamArA tattvonA camatkAro mArA svarUpano prakAza kare che." zrImadjIe kevuM adbhuta vidhAna batAvyuM che jenAthI bodha grahaNa thaI te viSamatAo dUra thavAnI zakyatA UbhI thAya che. pUrvanI bhUlonuM punarAvartana thatuM aTake. ane jyAM samatA-samAdhAna rahyAM tyAM dharmano prabhAva samajAya che. dharma karmano nAza karavAmAM sahAyaka che. bAMdhelAM karmo bhogavavAM na paDe tene dharma kahyo nathI paNa dharmano bhAva samatA rakhAve eTale pUrva karmo nAza thatAM navAM karmo tevAM ne tevAM na baMdhAya e dharmanI vizeSatA che jenI pAchaLa devagurunI kRpA che. sAmAnya rIte ApaNane koIne viSe kahevA-lakhavAnuM hoya to guNonuM kathana karavAno bhAva rahe che. paraMtu jyAre ApaNe ApaNA viSe lakhavAnuM hoya tyAre doSane niSpakSapAtapaNe lakhIe to temAM satyanuM sattva hoya che. jo ke gAMdhIjI jevI, doSonuM varNana lakhavAnI, nirbhayatA hovI durlabha che, te paNa mahAtmA jevI prasiddhi maLyA pachI doSone pragaTapaNe kahI devA temAM aMtaramAM satyanI niSThAnuM pAcana thayeluM che. teTalI hade mArA jevA sAmAnya mAnavInI lakhavAnI kuzaLatA ke nirbhayatA na hoya. chatAM gAMdhIjInI kathAnA avalaMbane kaMIka nirbhayapaNe lakhI zakAyuM che. mukhyatve trIjA puruSanI vibhAga-1 mArI maMgalayAtrA 22

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vicAradhArAthI lakhAyuM che. sva-52 doSa darzAvavAno hetu koI dveSaprerita nathI tema sva-52 guNa darzAvavAmAM kaMI pakSapAta paNa nathI. svadoSadarzana pazcAttAparUpa che, paradoSadarzana prArabdhanI vicitratArUpa che. svaguNadarzanamAM puNyayoga darzAvyo che ane paraguNadarzana mArA para thayelA u5kA2ne jaNAvavA anumodanArthe che. chatAM ati alpajJa avasthAmAM lakhAyeluM A lekhana pUrNa satyane kyAMthI AMbI zake ? pUrNatA pAmavAnA manoratha thaI zake te hetusabhara A lekhana che. A lekhana pragaTa thaze tyAre temAM jenA nAmano ullekha che, temAMnA thoDAka ciravidAya pAmyA che. jemanI upasthiti che, teo A lekhanamAMthI kaMI paNa aghaTita lAge to kSamA kare. chatAM AgaLa darzAvyo te hetunI mukhyatA rAkhe. kAraNa ke apUrNa-alpajJa mAnavI pUrNatAne nyAya kevI rIte Ape ? eTale vyakti, paristhati ane matithI sApekSa A lekhana che. saMyogAdhIna je kaMI banyuM te RNAnubaMdhanI cukavaNI hatI tema mAnI sau udAra dile vicArIzuM to samAdhAnanuM kAraNa che. te kSetra bhale vyavahArika ho ke AdhyAtmika. chellAM pAMceka varSathI keTalAka mitro sUcavatA ke tamArA anubhavo ane prasaMgo lakhavA jevA che. tyAre mane pU. paMDita sukhalAlajI yAda AvatA. teono nikaTano paricaya thayA pachI, temanA jIvananA prasaMgothI prabhAvita thaI, ame kahetA ke paMDitajI Apa A badhuM lakhAvo to ApanuM jIvanacaritra ame prasiddha karIe. teo javAba ApatA, pU. gAMdhIjInI jema doSadarzana yathAtathya darzAvavAnI niSpakSa vicArasaraNI joIe. vaLI keTalA mahApuruSonAM jIvanacaritra lakhAyelAM che ! hajI evA mahAmAnavonAM jIvanacaritra lakhAze, temAM kaMI mArI vizeSatA nathI." chevaTe ghaNuM thoDuM kaMIka mAruM '"jIvanavRtta' temanuM lakhAveluM maLe che. jo teono A javAba hoya to mArA jevAnI zI vizeSatA hoya ! pacIsa mALanA makAnamAM pahele mALe beThelI vyakti ane pacIsame mALe beThelI vyakti baMne eka ja makAnamAM che paNa beThakamAM aMtara che. chatAM jema baMne vyakti eka makAnamAM che te hakIkata che, tema mA2A jevA pahele mALe besI A sAhasa kare to tene sau saharSa svIkArajo. A mArI maMgalayAtrAnuM eka mahatvanuM aMga che paradezanI satsaMgayAtrA. satkAryo ane sadbhAvathI sabhara che. vaLI e yoga aMtarayAtrAnA 23 vibhAga-1 g satkathA, mArI maMgalayAtrA

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sAdhanarUpe pariNamyAM che. te tame sau A lekhanathI jozo. e aMtarayAtrA maMgalayAtrA ke satsaMgayAtrA karatAM paNa vizeSarUpe kheDAI. temAM gurujanonI kRpA ja varasI che. AthI jJAna, dhyAnanI koI keDI maLe ke mArA paga te dizAmAM vaLe, te paNa tame jojo. vAstavamAM maMgalayAtrA saMkSepamAM lakhavI tema dhAryuM hatuM. paraMtu pUnamanA UgavAthI sAgara UchaLe tema kalama hAthamAM Ave ke mArI vicAradhArA UchaLe. lekhananA saMskAro, cittapradeza 52 aMkti thayelA anekavidha anubhavo, upakArIjano pAsethI maLelI jJAna saMpatti, deza-52dezanA sanmitronI dharma jijJAsAthI nipajelA sAttvika-tAttvika pariNAmo, temAMthI zuM mUkuM ane zuM lakhuM ? AthI kudaratI rIte kalamane dhapavA dIdhI. eTale vistAra to thayo ja. vaLI A lekhana utArA nathI. paraMtu mahadaMze potIkopradeza che. jemAM vAstaviktA raju thaI che. vaLI vizeSa saMtapurUSo, paMDitajanonA bodhanuM avataraNa ke jIvana prasaMgo mAnavajIvanane upakArI che. te jeNe jyAM AlekhyA temaNe mAnavasevA ja karI che. guNagrAhI jIvone mATe te bhavasAgara taravAnuM jahAja che. saMtapurUSo sattne jIvI gayA, pacAvI gayA, pragaTa karI gayA. Akhare saune vaheMcI dIdhuM. pachI to ApaNI pAtratA pramANe ApaNAmAM pariNamaze, ApaNe tene jhIlavuM paDaze. aMtamAM jaNAvuM ke A lekhanamAMthI jene je kaMI anurUpa paDe te saunuM ja che. udAradile mANajo. AnaMda ho maMgala ho. sarvatra zAMti vistaro. parAkramonI tame pratimA, caDhANa kIdhA caramagatimAM; gaganabhUminA amara minArA, prabhu ! tamone namana hamArA. vibhAga-1 jIvana laDAI jItI janArA, prabhu ! tamone namana hamArA; 24 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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pitAzrI sva. nakaracaMda maganalAla maMgalayAtrAnA prAraMbhamAM paramAtmAne praNAma sunaMdAbahena vohorA janmathI mAMDIne keTalIka sukha du:khabharI kahAnInuM zravaNa kareluM je A pustakamAM AlekhyuM che. sunaMdAbahena vohorA zravaNanA saMvedanamAM jemanA mukhe zravaNa kaheluM te moTI bahena sva. subhadrAbahena

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vyApAra kSetre pitA putranI Adarza joDI mesarsa sI. ke. vohorAnI kaMpanInA : Adya sthApaka-saMcAlaka : rava. zeTha nemacaMdabhAI popaTalAla vohorA mesarsa sI. ke. vohorAnI kaMpanInA : saMcAlaka: zrI jagatacaMdra nemacaMda vohorA sva. nemacaMdabhAInuM kuTuMba-putra, putrIonA parivAra sAthe I.sa. 1941 bIjI haroLamAM jamaNI bAjuthI jagatacaMdra (khoLAmAM atula) bAjumAM sunaMdAbahena

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2 janma bAlyAvasthA -zizuvaya zikSaNa janmathI cauda varSano gALo * mAtA-pitA tathA pArivArika paricaya-janma * bALapaNamAM sagapaNa * mAtAnI ciravidAya * bApujInA trIjIvAra lagna * moTA bahenanuM vAtsalya * prAthamika zALAnuM zikSaNa * zvasura pakSano paricaya * piyarapakSe Arthika muzkelI * bicArI dAdI * bahenanI sAsare vidAya-paNa duHkhadAyaka To Con T "A bAlyavayamAM koInA mAtA-pitA marazo nahi, o Iza Avo kopa bALakanI upara karazo nahi." rakSaka tuM che mArI huM rakSaNa mAMgu chuM; caraNe AvI svAmI, tamArA guNa mAguM chuM."

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Atma zakti-prema svarUpe zUlapaNe jotAM lokhaMDano TUkaDo kaThaNa che pANI narama che. paraMtu pANImAM sUkSmapaNe lokhaMDIbaLa paDayuM che. lokhaMDane pANInA pAtramAM mUkI rAkhavAmAM Ave to kaTAIne lAla lAla kaNa thaIne havAmAM uDI jaze, tyAre pANInuM baLa samajAya che. tema sthUla dRSTie jotA karmothI AvRtta jIvane karma baLavAna lAge che. AtmA nirbaLa lAge che. paraMtu ataMra dRSTithI jotAM AtmAnA jJAnAdi baLa che tenAthI dIrghakALanA kaThina karmono nAza pAme che. - jeno vikAsa nathI tevA jaDabhautika padArthono kevaLa paricaya karajo . paNa jeo vikAsazIla AtmA che, bhale jaMtu to paNa temano prema karajo, sukhI thavAno zreSTha upAya che. - pU. panyAsajI (bhadraMkara gaNi)

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prAthamika prasaMgapaTa amadAvAda zaheranI e madhyama kakSAnI poLa (mahollo) hatI. lagabhaga ATha dAyakA pahelAMnI smRti pramANe kahuM to jaina kuTuMbothI bharapUra garbhazrImaMtonA nivAsavALI poLanuM citra gauravavaMtuM hatuM. yadyapi saMbhava che ke ghaNA dAyakA pachI e paristhiti ghaNI palaTAI hoya chatAM Aje daherAsara, upAzrayanuM sthAna yathAvat jaLavAyuM che. vaLI ghaNA samaya pahelAM A sthaLe luhAro vasatA haze ke koI paNa kAraNa hoya, hAlanA mANekacokanI najIka e luhAranI poLa apabhraMza banI lavAranI poLa e nAme Aje paNa tenI prakhyAti che. e poLamAM mAruM mosALa hatuM, ane janmasthaLa paNa hatuM. e poLamAM eka sAmAnya sthitinuM jaina kuTuMba rahetuM. traNa bhAI, eka bahena ane vidhavA mA. pitA to yuvAna vaye avasAna pAmyA hatA. gharanuM ghara paNa sthiti sAmAnya. traNe bhAIo kAme lAgyA hovAthI sthitimAM sudhAro thato gayo hato. vidhavA mA ane dIkarI caMpA baMne phurasadanA samaye gharanA oTale besI nirvAhamAM sahAyarUpa thavA bharatagUMthaNa kare. te poLanI bAjunI poLano eka jaina yuvAna daherAsare Ave ane A yuvAna kanyAne jue. kanyA rUpALI ane mukhAkRtimAM guNanAM darzana paNa thAya tevuM sauSThava hatuM. e yuvAnane A kanyA gamI gaI, manamAM vasI gaI. lagabhaga so varSa pahelAM samAjanI racanA evI hatI ke ghoDiyAmAM sUvA jevAM bALakonAM vivAha-lagna thatAM. te samaye vara-kanyAnI koI sarakhAmaNI karavAnI na hatI. phakata kauTumbika khAnadAnI saMpannatA, pratiSThA jevAM paribaLonI mukhyatA rahetI. te rIte A yuvAnanA paNa ghoDiyA lagna thayAM hatAM. vara-kanyA uMmaralAyaka thatAM temanAM lagna thayAM. patnI sAthe gharasaMsAra zarU thayo. eka saMtAnanI prApti thaI, tenuM nAma ramaNalAla pADyuM. Ama betraNa varSa nirvighna nIkaLI gayAM. paraMtu have yuvAnanI najare caMpA najarAI. svataMtra vicArasaraNIvALA mArI maMgalayAtrA 27 vibhAga-2

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yuvAnane mAtApitAnI rajA levAnI jarUra na lAgI. teNe caMpAnI mA pAse caMpAnA hAthanI mAMgaNI karI. pati bIjI patnI kare te koI paNa strIne na game paNa te samaye puruSanI e svAdhInatA (samAje ApelI ?) strI svIkArI letI. sAmAjika ke naitika rIte eka patnIvratano vizeSa prabhAva tyAre na hato, savizeSa puruSane javalle lAgatuM ke bahupatnItva khoTuM che. yuvAne caMpAnA hAthanI mAMgaNI karI, tyAre tenI mAe prathama vicAra karyo ke potAnI lADakI dIkarIne sapatnI thavuM paDaze. paraMtu e kALe e ghaNuM mahattvanuM manAtuM nahi. eTale vadhu TakA lAbha e bAju gayA ke puruSa yuvAna che, rUpALo che, kuTuMba khAnadAna che, garbhazrImaMta che, cAhIne kanyAne premapUrvaka svIkA2vA Avyo che. (Love Marriage) mAe Ama vicAryuM, bhAIone paNa badhuM yogya lAgyuM. ane e yuvAne gharamAM ja cAra loTAnI lagnacorI karI joSI samakSa kanyAnuM pANigrahaNa karyuM. te kALe kanyAne kaMI vizeSa vicAravAnuM rahetuM nahi. mAtA-pitA dore tema dorAya. tema caMpAnAM lagna thayAM. rAtre yuvAna navI patnI sAthe ghare Avyo. yogAnuyoga jUnI patnI piyara gaI hatI. gharamAM mAtApitA hatAM. mAne kahe kanyA paraNI lAvyo chuM. ghaDIbhara mAne vikalpa thayo haze paraMtu e kALe AvA prakAro kevaLa ajugatA gaNAtA na hatA. joke prathama vAranI patnIne duHkha lAge te paNa svAbhAvika hatuM. mAtApitAne AMcako lAgyo paNa yuvAnanI tejasvitA pAse temaNe namatuM jokhyuM. purANa kALamAM, madhyakALamAM ke vartamAnamAM strI-jIvana kSetre keTalAka prazno jaTila rahyA che. koI vAra lAge ke keTalAka prazno UkalyA che paNa prAye e bhrama bane che. jamInamAM sUkAyelI vanaspati jaLanuM siMcana thatAM jema phUTI nIkaLe che tema AvA prazno anya rIte udbhavatA ja rahe che. e kALe patnIne saMtAnaprApti na thAya to puruSono doSa ke khAmI nahi, paraMtu strInI khAmI gaNAtI ane e kAraNe pati bIjI-trIjI patnI karato. khera ! pachI banyuM evuM ke prathama patnIne mATe gha2mAM koI sthAna nathI rahyuM tema mAnI, mAtApitA saMpanna hatAM tethI putrIne potAne tyAM rAkhI lIdhI. vaLI e kALe be-traNa mAtAnAM saMtAno sukheduHkhe sAthe rahetAM vibhAga-2 28 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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eTale prathama patnInA putrane sAruM zikSaNa maLe tevA vicArathI udAradila caMpAbAe tene putravat svIkArI lIdho ane potAnI sAthe rAkhyo. te kALa pramANe sAruM zikSaNa maLyuM. kAmadhaMdhe lAgyo ane suMdara kanyA sAthe vivAha thayA. bApujI paNa te ramaNabhAIne premathI rAkhatA. vyApAradhaMdhAmAM paNa sAthe laI tenuM dhyAna rAkhatA. mAtApitA tathA pArivArika paricaya-janma : A yuvAnanuM nAma nakaracaMda e mArA pitA ane caMpA e mArI mAtA. samAjanI ane vaDIlonI daSTie caMpA sukhI thaI, ane sAMsArika rIte ema ja hatuM. yuvAnI, dhana, saMpatti, zarIrasauSThava, kuzaLatA Ama sAMsArika jIvana sukhethI jIvavAno puNyayoga hato. caMpAnI hAjarImAM, caMpAnI jIvanazailImAM nakaracaMda potAne khUba sukhI mAnatA. divasa ane rAtanA bheda vagara baMne sukhacenamAM jIvatAM hatAM. vaLI svataMtra ghara vasAvI kuTuMbathI judA rahevA lAgyAM. vepAradhaMdhAmAM caDhatI hatI. sAMsArika sukhanA saMyoge caMpAbAne prathama saMtAnamAM putrInI prApti thaI, tenuM nAma subhadrA. e kALe vijJAnano vikAsa ke rakAsa AjanA jeTalo phAlyo na hato. rakAsa eTale saMtAna na joIe to temAM khAsa karIne to mA potAnA ja vicArathI garbhamAM AvelI putrIno nirdayatAthI nikAla karI de. kathaMcita vikAsa e arthamAM ke saMyama rahita paNa saMtAnaprApti aTakAvI zakAya. TUMkamAM e kALe koI vAra varSe, savA varSe ke doDha varSe ke alpAdhika samaye saMtAnaprApti thatI e kAMI nivArI zakAya tevuM bhAgye ja banatuM. Ama caMpAbAne bIjA doDha varSe vaLI saMtAnaprApti thaI paNa te bALaka avasAna pAmyuM. bALamRtyuno AMka tyAre UMco hato. khera, tyAra pachI vaLI eka putrano janma thayo ane tenuM nAma manu. cothA kramamAM janmelI putrInuM nAma sarasvatI hatuM, je pAchaLathI sunaMdA thayuM. jenA jIvananI saMsArayAtrA atre varNavavAmAM AvI che. nAma badalavAnuM kAraNa khabara nathI. bahenane pUchatI ke mane devalokamAMthI koNe A dharatIne soMpI, je hoya te sarasvatI ane sunaMdA baMne devalokamAM che ! bhaviSyamAM mokSe ! sarasvatInuM sthAna jJAnavidyAnI devI tarIke che. sunaMdA prathama tIrthakara RSabhadevanAM patnI hatAM. te devalokamAM che. te AdhAre A ullekha che. mArI maMgalayAtrA 29 vibhAga-2

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bAlyAvasthA-zizuvaya :bALapaNanuM alpakAlIna gaLapaNa, ane sagapaNa janma I.sa. 19rara navembara, tArIkha trevIsa, vi.saM. 1979 kArtakI pUnama. Ama ame traNa bhAIbahena mAtApitAnA khUba vAtsalyamAM, tathA mAtApitAnI sthiti saMpanna hatI eTale sukhamAM UcharatAM hatAM. mAtA gharanA vaibhavathI guNamaya kuzaLatAthI kuTuMbamAM paNa priyatA pAmyA hatA. pitA vyApAradhaMdhAmAM pratiSThA pAmyA hatA. sunaMdAnI vaya cAra varSanI hatI. kAMI suMdaratA paNa kharI, bALavayamAM paNa hAla Ave evI capaLatA. AvA kAraNe eka saMpanna kuTuMbanA vaDIlone kanyA tarIke gamI gaI. ane temanA putra jagatacaMdra sAthe caMpAbAnI hAjarImAM bALavivAha thayA. A prasaMga baMne kuTuMba mATe sukhaprada hato. tyAre sAsare lakSmIbA (navIbA) AvI gayAM hatAM. joke bALako-je varavahu hatA temane AmAM kAMI vizeSa jANavAnuM na hatuM. ane tenuM bhAna paNa na hatuM. bhAI cAra varSano, huM lagabhaga be varSanI. savAre bApujI bhAIne khoLAmAM besADIne navarAve, mane thAya ke huM paNa bApujInA khoLAmAM kema na nahAuM ? bA kahe tane huM navarAvIza. paNa huM to kapaDAM sAthe ja bApujInA khoLAmAM jagA karI lauM. bApujI baMnene premathI navarAve. AvuM ja banatuM bApujI jamavA Ave tyAre. traNa baheno vacce janmelo bhAI, te samaye dIkarAnuM mAhAsya vadhu hatuM ne? (Aje paNa che to kharuM) bAne ema thatuM ke bhAI bhale bApujInI sAthe jame, ane mane ramavA mokale. paNa huM kaMI mAnuM nahi, pAchI AvI jAuM. bApujI kahetA bhale sAthe bese. bApujI jamatA jAya amane jamADatA jAya. saMsAramAM mAtApitAnuM vAtsalya ja evuM hoya che ke teo potAnI jarUriyAtone gauNa kare ane saMtAnone mATe badhuM ja karI chUTe. tyAre temane koI vikalpa hoto nathI ke A saMtAno amane sukha Apaze ke nahi ! AvA ja kAraNathI jagata para janma letuM bALaka AMkha ughADe ane mAnA hAtha ane khoLA dvArA vAtsalya pAmIne rakSita rahe che. mAtApitA Thapako Ape, samaya Ave dhola-dhapATa kare ke polIsanI bIka batAve sarva kAraNonI pAchaLa temano verabhAva nathI hoto paraMtu 30 mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-2

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saMtAnone saMskArI banAvavAnI bhAvanA hoya che. kyAreka prakRti hoya che, ane te samaye saMtAnonI laMgAra lAgI hoya che eTale dhIraja paNa khUTe che. chatAM eka hAthe dhola mAre ne bIje hAthe paMpALe evuM mAtApitAnuM vAtsalya hoya ja che. mArI moTI bahene je je kaheluM tenuM kaMIka ahIMyAM avataraNa karyuM che. bIjI bAju vAstavikatA vicArIe to koIka ja puNyazALI mAtApitA vRddhAvasthAmAM saMtAnothI yogya sevA pAme che. bhale kALa duSama kahyo paNa kevaLa e ja kAraNa nathI. paraMtu svArthavRtti vadhu prabaLa hoya che, eTale mAtApitAnA vAtsalyanuM RNa adA karavAnuM puNya bhAgye ja hoya che. viSama kALanA pravAhano jhapATo, yamarAjanuM eka aDapaluM ! : e kALa kayA khUNe bharAI beTho haze ke ekAeka viSama vAvAjhoDAnI jema phUMkAIne teNe e jhapATo-sapATo evo lagAvyo ke A kuTuMbanA sukhanA divaso svapnavat banI gayA. e hatuM caMpAbAnuM akALe mRtyu. caMpAbAnI uMmara lagabhaga trIsa varSa bharayuvAnI hatI. pAMcamA saMtAnanI prasUtino samaya hato. pAMcamuM saMtAna putrI janmI. paNa chaThThA divase mAne prasUti samayanI koI kSati thaI. te kALe A rIte prasUtimAM strIo cepI-jherI tattvano (sepTika) bhoga banatI ane maraNane zaraNa thatI. koNa jANe keTalAMya bALako mAM vihoNAM thatAM. prasUtinA chaa divase caMpAbAnA zarIramAM jherI tattva vyApI gayuM. kAMI upAya kAma na lAgyo. lavAranI poLamAM mosALanA gharamAM mAnI maraNapathArIe ghaDIo gaNAtI hatI. e divase savArathI badhuM sUmasAma chatAM sagAMonI bhIDa hatI. moTI bahena zUnyamanaska thaI mosALanA gharane oTale beThI hatI. ame be bhAI-bahena tyAM nAnA cokamAM ramatAM hatA. moTI bahena ghaDIkamAM raDatI, ame pAse jaIe eTale chAnI rahetI. pUchIe tyAre kahetI bA mAMdI che. vaLI ame ramatamAM lAgI jatA. vaLI paDozInA gharamAM koI laI jatA, kaMI khAvApIvAnI vyavasthA thatI. mAtAnI cira vidAya : chappaniyo dukALa seMkaDo mAnavIono bhoga laIne te kALe dharAyo nahi hoya ke zuM ? tenI kSudhA adhUrI haze ke zuM ? tIvra banIne e nirdaya mArI maMgalayAtrA 31 vibhAga-2

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kALe mAne divasanA bAra vAge upADI ja lIdhI. aMdaranA oraDAmAMthI raDavAnI cIso saMbhaLAI ane bahena aMdara doDI gaI. ame paNa doDyAM, ane moTI bahenane vaLagI paDyAM, tenI sAthe raDavA lAgyA. sagAMoe bahenane samajAvI, amane laIne bahAra mokalI. paNa oha ! bahena to bhIMte mAthuM pachADe ane bole. (bahena bahu moTI uMmare mane AvI vAto kahetI te AdhAre temAM kaMI pheraphAra sAthe avataraNa karyuM che.) "he bhagavAna! he nirdaya kALa ! tane A be bALakonI dayA na AvI ! taratanI janmelI A putrInI dayA na AvI ! teM mAne upADI lIdhI. he kALa ! koIne bharakhavuM ja hatuM to huM hatI. tAre mane laI javI hatI. hajI paNa jo tane dayA AvatI hoya to mane upADI le. mArI mAne pAchI mUkI jA, mUkI jA, mUkI jA. o kALa, A mArI arajI moTA manano thaIne svIkArI le. tAre kAMI gumAvavAnuM nathI. ane mArI mA jo maLatI hoya to mAre tArI pAse rahetA kAMI gumAvavAnuM nathI. bahena koI vAra kahetI, mA mAMdI che e sAMbhaLyuM tyArathI raDatI hatI, paNa kALadeve kAMI noMdha nA lIdhI. vaLI bahena bhIMte mAthuM pachADe, raDe. ame to tenI kAMkhamAM gabharAIne bharAI gayA hatA. A sarva vigata bahenanA mukhe sAMbhaLelI. te kahetI ke mane AvA karuNa bhAva UpajatA. tyAM to be sagAM AvyAM. bahenane khUba ja paMpALI, pAse besIne samajAvI. paNa bahenanA dilano ghA evo moTo hato ke A nAnA malamapaTAthI rUjhAya kevI rIte ? chevaTe sagAMoe eka upAya tenI sAme dharyo ke A be bALakane tAre kAMkhamAM levAnAM che. tAre te baMnenI mA banavAnuM che. paNa bahena to eka ja bolatI ke kALane dayA na AvI? sagAMoe kahyuM ke have tene kAMI upAya nathI. tuM A bALakonI sAme jo; bicArAM hijarAya che (A lakhatAM Aje to pena aTakI gaI.) te samaye kAMI vadhu samaja na hatI paNa jayAre Aje lakhuM chuM tyAre e dazya sAdazya thayuM. kAraNa ke e bAra varSanI bahenanI dazA Aje samAjamAM Ave che. tyAre to samaja na hatI ke bAra varSanI bahenanuM zuM gajuM ! mA banavAnuM ke mAnA viyoge jhUravAnuM ! ahIMyAM samayanA vaheNane jovA sivAya koI upAya na hato. vibhAga-2 mArI maMgalayAtrA 3ra

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ame nAnAM bALako, temAM paNa jeNe hajI pUrI AMkha kholI nathI, mAno khoLo mANyo nathI, mAnA khoLAne bhIMjavyo nathI, vAtsalyano sparza pAmI nathI, mAnA stananuM pAna paNa karyuM nathI, e janmI ane mAne bImArI AvI. duniyAmAM aMdhakAra che ke prakAza kAMI jue te pahelAM aMdhakAra tene vIMTaLAI vaLyo. darekanA mukhamAM e putrI bicArI' hatI. AkhuM vAtAvaraNa AvI duHkhada carcAnuM sthAna banI gayuM. vaLI vacamAM bAnI bA(dAdI)nuM chAtI phATa rudana. darekanAM dila dravI UThatAM. ane sagAM svajano sahu e rudanamAM rudana bheLavIne AzvAsana UbhuM karatAM hatAM. dAdIno valopAta, chAtI be hAthe kUTatAM, mAthuM pachADatAM ema lAgatuM hatuM, ke A dAdI dIkarI pAchaLa prANa ApI deze ! tenuM jIvatara pUruM kaDavAzathI bharAI gayuM. koI vAra evuM lAge che ke AjanA kALa karatAM te kALe svajananA viyoge duHkha vadhu pragaTa thatuM? eTale kadAca kahevAya che ke goLamAMthI gaLapaNa gayuM, sagAmAMthI sagapaNa gayuM ! je hoya te dAdI para duHkhanA DuMgara tUTI paDyA tevuM bahena kahetI. karuNatAno AkharI aMjAma : hajI karuNatAno AkharI aMjAma to have hato. Ama be-traNa kalAka nIkaLI gayA. arthAt nanAmInI taiyArI cAlatI hatI. tyAre zabavAhinI na hatI. sagAmAM je AvA kAmamAM kuzaLa hoya teo badhuM saMbhALI letA. bAnI nanAmI upADI puruSo gharanI bahAra AvyA ane varNana na thaI zake tevo rudanano ulkApAta thayo, jANe gagana paNa rudananA avAjathI phATI jaze ke zuM? mRtyuno Avo ghA haze? AkAza to nirlepa rahyuM. bahena lagabhaga zUnyamanaska hatI. ame be ene vIMTaLAIne beThAM hatAM. paNa nanAmInuM dRzya joI mUMjhAI gayAM. meM bahenane pUchyuM, "bAne badhA Ama kema laI jAya che ?" bahena bolyAM : bA bhagavAnane ghera gaI. AvA samAdhAnanI paddhati Aja sudhI cAlI AvI che. pharaka eTalo ke tyAre bALako A vAta tarata ja svIkArI letAM. vaLI mAnI khoTa lAgatI tyAre saMyukta kuTuMbanA kAraNe puNyayoge bALakone koInuM rakSaNa maLatuM. temAM kAMI vAtsalya paNa maLI rahetuM. kayAMka azubha yoge bALakone ghaNuM sahevuM paNa paDatuM. DAghuo saune mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-2 33

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tasa ra aa aa Aya raDatAM mUkI bAnI nanAmI laI vidAya thayA. vAstavamAM bA have pAchI AvavAnI na hatI. e sanAtana satya chatAM, saunI pAse rudana sivAya zuM hatuM? strImaMDaLa raDIne thAkyuM ! chAtIo kUTIne hAtha heThA mUkayA. kevaLa vivazatA hatI. koI upAya na hato. samaya pasAra thato hato. saMsAranA mAdhyamathI kahevAya che, duHkhanuM osaDa dahADA. jJAnIo kahe che, duHkhanuM osaDa vairAgya. paNa tyAre kAMI AvuM jJAna na hatuM. joke A sarva dazyanuM varNana te samayanI koI smRtithI nathI lakhAyuM. paNa lagabhaga mArI ghaNI moTI uMmara pachI koI vAra bahena potAnA duHkhanuM varNana karatI, tyAre ame baMne baheno ghaNAM varSo pahelAMnA kALamAM pahoMcI jatAM ane mana haLavuM karatAM. te divasomAM bahena kahetI, anAtha AzramanAM bALako phaMDa mATe baeNnDavAjAM laIne nIkaLatAM, tyAre gIta gAtAM, A bAlyavayamAM koInAM mAtApitA marazo nahi, o Iza Avo kopa bALakanI upara karazo nahi." e divase bahena khUba raDatI. ame kaMI bahu samajatAM nahi paNa sAthe raDatA, eTale bahena zAMta thaI jatI. Aje lakhuM chuM tyAre? : vaLI A lekhana karuM chuM tyAre to AvA anya ghaNA duHkhada prasaMgomAMthI svayaM mAre pasAra thavuM paDyuM che. temAM vaLI vItarAgano mArga, tenI samaja, gurujanonI nizrAmAM maLelo bodha, dharmanI zraddhA, tattvano bodha, saMsAranuM svarUpa, janma-maraNanuM rahasya AvAM anekavidha zAstravacanono sahAro AtmAne samAdhAna Ape che, chatAM apUrNadazAne kAraNe duHkhada ke sukhada paristhiti asara upajAve che. joke pratyakSa gurujanonuM sAnnidhya tevA samaye atyaMta upakAraka banyuM che ane bane che. AthI uparanuM varNana lakhatAM AvAM dazyo jovA maLelAM tenA anusaMdhAnathI te kALanuM vAtAvaraNa sAdazya thayuM tyAre jotI hatI ke nAnapaNanI nirdoSatAmAM kAMI vadhu duHkha anubhavyuM nahi hoya. Aje ghaTanAonAM AvAM rahasyonI samajanA AdhAre samAdhAna rahe che. paraMtu vacceno gALo evo kahI zakAya ke bahena pAse A sarva sAMbhaLatAM ghaNuM vibhAga-2 mArI maMgalayAtrA 34

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duHkha lAgyuM hatuM. vaLI ema paNa vikalpa UThe che ke 80 varSanA gALA pachI A lakhavAno zo artha ? evuM banatuM ke koI nikaTanA satsaMgIo anubhavanI kAMI vAto pUchatA tyAre saMsAranuM svarUpa kevuM vicitra che chatAM evo saMsAra chUTato nathI e anubhava-prasaMgo kahetI. vaLI koIne lAgatuM ke e badhuM lakho to sAruM, amane to upayogI lAge che. eTale lakhavAnI phuraNA thatI. chatAM thoDuM lakhANa thatuM ane vaLI vikalpa UThato kharekhara lakhuM ! vaLI pelA mitronI preraNAthI lakhavAnuM zarU karatI. khera ! bApujInuM zuM thayuM ? : bApujInI sthiti paNa e samaye dayAjanaka hatI. teo paNa mAthuM phUTatA hatA. vAstavamAM sau sAMtvana ApatA ke have hiMmata rAkhyA sivAya koI chUTako nathI. hakIkatamAM caMpAe potAnA guNathI bApujInA hRdayamAM sthAna lIdhuM hatuM. tethI temano ghA ghaNo moTo hato. saMsAranI racanA A rIte nirmita thaI che. saMyoga-viyoganAM sukha-duHkha e saMsAra. pelI nirdoSa bALakIno zuM doSa? sau kapALe hAtha mUkI kahetA, lalATe lakhyA lekha bhUMsAtA nathI. jIve bAMdhelAM karmo bhogavyA vagara koI chUTatuM nathI. moTAM mAmA-mAmIne saMtAna na hatuM. AthI temaNe tarata ja e bALakIne potAnA saMtAna tarIke apanAvI lIdhI. mAmA relavemAM nokarI karatA hatA. eTale kAMIka sAdhana-saMpanna hatA. Ama bALakInuM koI khUNe paDeluM puNya udayamAM AvyuM paNa hA, daivane e maMjUra na hatuM. mAmA-mAmIne lAgyuM bhale amAro khoLo bharAyo, paNa e bALakI cha mAsa pachI A duniyA choDI ciravidAya laI jANe mAne maLavA pahoMcI gaI. vyakti eka vidAya thaI hatI paNa tenA vyaktitvathI keTalI khoTa UbhI thaI ! bahena pAsethI sAMbhaLIne, anya prasaMgonA anubhavathI, anya kathAonA vAMcanathI lakhavAmAM bodharUpa saraLatA rahI. kAraNa ke bALavayamAM kaMI A vicAraNAno vikAsa saMbhavita na hato. vaLI bApujInI sthiti bAnA samayamAM ja saMpattithI saMpanna thatI hatI eTale bhADAnuM ghara choDI pote ghAMcInI ane nAgajIbhUdaranI poLa banne vacce saMdhiyogavALuM ATheka oraDAnuM moTuM ghara lIdhuM hatuM. bAnI prasUti pate pachI e gharamAM rahevA javA mATe navAM sAdhano mArI maMgalayAtrA 35 vibhAga-2

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vigerenI pUrva taiyArIo karI lIdhI hatI. kevaLa praveza ja bAkI rAkhyo hato. ane bIjuM zubha kAma e hatuM ke je pahelI patnIno putra ramaNalAla jene caMpAbAe potAnI pAse rAkhelo tenuM zikSaNa pUruM thayuM hatuM. te dhaMdhAmAM paNa pitA sAthe lAgyo hato. tenA vivAha thaI gayelA. tenA lagnanI bAne bahu hoMza hatI. A baMne kAma rAha jotA hatA, caMpAnI prasUti pachInI hAjarI. paNa chupAyelA bhAvinA garbhamAM kaMI juduM ja citra nirmANa thayuM hatuM. bApujI kahetA, ghara have smazAna lAge che. bahena moTI paNa bAra varSanI, nAnI to kharI ja ne? te A gharamAM kyAM bese, kyAM phare ! eTale bhAInAM lagna tarata ja karI dIdhA. eka vyakti AvavAthI bahenane kAMIka rAhata thaI. paNa bApujIne keme karI AzvAsana maLatuM na hatuM. dhaMdhA-vyApAramAM mana lAgatuM na hatuM. divaso sudhI uparanA mALe eka oraDAmAM caMpA caMpA karatA, raDatA paDI rahetA. e divaso paNa vItatA hatA. bApujInA bhAgIdAra samaja hatA. dhaMdho saMbhALI letA. vaLI mAmAo AvI samajAvatA. ema bApujIne kaMI kaLa vaLI, dukAne javA lAgyA. bahenanuM jIvana amane saMbhALavAmAM ane anya kAmamAM lAgyuM. te kALe bALakone sAcavavAM bahu agharuM na hatuM. khAI-pIne zerImAM ramatAM. vaLI bALapaNamAM bIjA koI vizeSa vikalpo paNa na hatA. saMsArano krama ja evo che ke samayocita badhuM goThavAtuM jAya. A prasaMga saMsAramAM kaMI prathama ja banyo che tevuM na hatuM. saMsAranuM svarUpa evuM che ke janma-maraNa, saMyoga-viyoganAM dvandramAMthI koI mukta nathI. paraMtu jene mAthe Ave tene te prasaMga kAramo lAge. bahena kahetI ""tuM zAMta ane DAhI hatI." bhAI eka ja hato eTale lADako hato. tenA lADa pUrA karavAmAM takalIpha hatI. rAtre sUvAmAM eka agavaDa thatI. baMnene bahenanI bAju joIe. eTale bahena cattI ja sUI jatI. jethI baMnenuM samAdhAna thatuM. vaLI ame bAnI bA dAdI pAse jatAM tene sAruM lAgatuM paNa hajI tenAM AMsu sUkAtAM na hatAM. ane nAka sudhI sADIno cheDo DhAMkI rAkhatI. kema jANe caMpA sivAya koIne mo vibhAga-2 mArI maMgalayAtrA 36

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batAvavuM tene yogya lAgatuM nahi hoya! mRtyu sudhI teNe A krama jALavyo hato. e kALe sagAnA viyoganuM duHkha vadhu rahetuM evuM lAge che. e kALe ke Aje puruSo patnInA viraha zokamAM game tevA hatAza thAya paNa samAjanI praNAlI, savizeSa prakRti ane strIsukhanI jijJAsAvRtti tene bIjA lagna karavAnI icchA pedA karatI. vaLI moTAM mAmI gaMbhIra hatAM. bApujI pratye sahAnubhUtivALAM hatAM. temAM vaLI temanI nAnI bahena kuMvArI hatI. mAmIne lAgyuM, bALakonI javAbadArI che paNa bIjI rIte sAdhanasaMpattivALuM ghara. bApujInI uMmara batrIsa AsapAsa je te kALe bahu moTI na lAgatI. kanyA soLa varSanI ane bApujI pAse te kanyAnA hastano mAmIe prastAva mUkayo. bApujI hajI zokamAMthI, caMpAnI mIThI smRtimAMthI bahAra AvyA na hatA. eTale strIsukha, jijJAsAnI vRtti tAtkAlika UThI na hatI. jo ke Aje vicAra karuM chuM tyAre eTaluM to lAge ke koI jIvone viraha duHkhanI vedanA vadhu gherI hoya che, koIne ochI hoya che. Aje to koI vAra evuM lAge che ke jIvone mRtyuno zoka pALavAnI paNa phurasada nathI. strI ho ke puruSa ho dareka doDamAM che, duHkha thatuM hoya to paNa duHkhane svIkAravAnuM baLa nathI, tethI bAhya doDa karIne duHkha bhUlI jAya che. joke tethI kaMI aMtaradAha rUjhato nathI. yadyapi traNathI pAMceka dAyakA pahelAMnA samayamAM duHkhanuM vedana savizeSa strIomAM vadhu jaNAtuM. temAM ghaNA sAmAjika, kauTumbika saMyogo, lAcAra dazA, zikSaNano abhAva AvAM kAraNothI strI vadhu du:kha sahana karatI. Aje sthiti badalAI che, paraMtu e sarvAze na kahI zakAya. puruSa kSetre svAdhInatA, bIjA lagnano tarata ja avakAza. yadyapi jIva mAtra svajananA viyogathI abhyAdhika duHkha pAme te mAnavanI prakRti che. vaLI koIka ja jIva e paristhitimAM bodha pAmI jIvanane tyAga, vairAgya mArge dorI du:khanA mULane chedI nAMkhe. strI moTe bhAge svecchAe ke anicchAe vaidhavyane saMyamathI nibhAvatI. te kALanI strIjIvananI ghaNI maryAdAo hatI. temAM Aje ghaNuM parivartana thayuM che. moTAM mAmIe vAta barAbara pakaDI hatI. AjanA mAdhyamathI vicArIe mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-2 37.

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to kadAca temanuM maMtavya ajugatuM lAge. traNa bALako, temAM paNa gharamAM oramAyo putra ane putravadhU jenI vaya ane e kanyAnI vaya samAna hatI. paNa e kALanAM mUlyo judAM hatAM. batrIsa varSano yuvAna che, vyApAra-dhaMdho dhIkato cAle che, saMpattivAna che, moTuM ghara che. e jamAnAmAM gharaAMgaNe ghoDAgADI hatI. moTAM mAmIne thayuM ke bALako emanA bhAganuM khAze-pIze, paNa A moko javA devA javo nathI. AthI roja bApujI pAse AvatAM ane samajAvatAM. chevaTe mAmI saphaLa thayA. bApujInAM trIjI vAra lagna thayAM: Ama karatAM cha mAsa pUrA thayA. bApujI dhaMdhAmAM pUrvavat joDAI gayA. zokano bhAra haLavo thayo. prakRti pramANe mAmInI vAta para vicAra karavA lAgyA. ane aMte trIjI vAra lagnagraMthithI joDAyA. trIjI vAranAM patnInuM nAma zAradAbA hatuM. zAradAbA svabhAve nikhAlasa hatAM. bApujI paNa lAgaNIbhInA hatA. ame be bahenonuM premathI dhyAna rAkhatA manubhAI to caMpAbAno eka ja putra. ene prema ane lADa baMne maLatA hatA. - duHkhanuM osaDa dahADA. gharamAM bahena, bhAbhI ane navAbA (bhAbhu). traNe vayamAM betraNa varSanA aMtaravALAM eTale samAna vayaska hatAM. rasoI karanAra hato. pUrA samayano kAma karanAra hato. ghoDAgADI hatI. bApujI zokha prakRtinA hatA. navAbAnuM lokadaSTie ane potAnI buddhithI sukhI jIvana hatuM. arthAt kuTuMbajIvanano nirvAha sukhapUrvaka thato hato. vaLI bApujI navAbA sAthe sukhapUrvaka jIvavA lAgyA. amane bahena saMbhALatI eTale navAbAne amArA ucherano bojo na hato. te kALe bALakono saMyukta kuTuMbamAM kaMI vizeSa bhAra na hato. bApujI khuzamijAjI hatA. kuzaLa hatA, tevA ja prakhara hatA. temanA kahevAthI viruddha cAlanArAne te sahI zakatA nahi. caMpAbAnI zAMta prakRti ane samajane kAraNe bApujI paNa tyAre zAMti rAkhatA hatA. evo caMpAbAno temanA para prabhAva hato. prathama patnIno putra ramaNalAla samajadAra hato. pitAnI jema kuzaLa hato. potAnI mAnI sthitino khyAla AvatAM duHkha lAgyuM. temAM vaLI dhaMdhAnI vAtamAM mataphera thayo. tethI teNe alaga ghara lIdhuM. mAtAne sAthe vibhAga-2 mArI maMgalayAtrA 38

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rAkhI. potAno svataMtra dhaMdho vikasAvyo. AthI bApujI khUba nArAja thayA. moTAM bahenanuM vAtsalya : koI vAra zuM banatuM teno khyAla nathI, tyAre bApujI mane bolAvIne dhamakAvatA. kadAca bhaNavA bAbata haze. huM raDatI raDatI bahena pAse pahoMcI jatI. bahena mane samajAvI detI. vaLI mAre mAthe hAtha pheravI de eTale huM zAMta thAuM. zAradAbA bhoLAM hatAM. temanA taraphathI kaMI takalIpha na hatI. amArI sAthe temano vyavahAra apara saMtAno jevo na hato, tema bahena kahetI. bahena paNa bAnI jema samatAvALI hatI. baMne sumeLathI rahetAM. eka vAra bahena mane kahetI hatI ke tuM raDatAM raDatAM pUchatI ke "bA bhagavAnane gherathI pAchI kyAre Avaze ? vaLI kahetI hatI ke bA pAchI kevI rIte Ave ? mAmAo ane badhA ene kevI rIte laI gayA hatA? eTale ene AvavuM nA game ne !" samaya pasAra thatAM bALamAnasa para aMkAyelA A taraMgo paNa zamI gayA. bahena paNa navAbA sAthe goThavAI gaI. paNa hA, dAdI jiMdagI sudhI duHkhI ja rahI. hAsya zuM e ene mATe kalpanA ja banI. Aje have zAstronI vAto jANatA thayA eTale evuM lAge ke mohanI kevI prabaLatA ! te vakhate dharmanA saMskAra nahi, sAdhujanono samAgama nahi, strIne gharanAM kAma ane bALakono vistAra, AvI dIvAlamAM kyAMthI jJAnIonI vAta pahoMce ! dAdI kyAMthI bodha pAme ? e kALe dharmArAdhanAnA yoga to maLatA hatA athavA kaho ke evuM puNyabaLa nahi. ame bhAI-bahena zALAe jatAM thayAM. e samaye zALAjIvana AjanI jema bahu bhArarUpa na hatuM. poLamAM rahetAM eTale bALasulabha ramatono AnaMda mANavA maLato. kuzaLatAne kAraNe ramatomAM netAgIrI rahetI, yadyapi e kSetramAM mitrapriyatA hatI. bALapaNa sAmAnyapaNe nirdoSatAmAM gayuM. joke koI moTI guNasaMpannatA paNa na hatI. koI yAdagAra prasaMgo paNa banyA na hatA. koI kuceSTAnA doSa thayA hatA tevo khyAla che. tyAre tenuM bhAna na hatuM, ke e khoTuM che. mArI maMgalayAtrA 39 vibhAga-2

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jJAnIo kahe che mAnavajanma maLavA chatAM bALapaNa to ramatamAMkhelakUdamAM gumAvyuM, kAraNa ke pUrvano koI jJAnamaya dRDha saMskAra laIne jIva Avyo nathI. pUrvanA saMyama ke saMskArayukta jIvone bALapaNathI ja AtmahitanI sphuraNA thatI hoya che. ane evA yoga paNa maLI jAya che. jemake aImuttA, zrI gautamasvAmInA yoge ATha varSe svayaM sphuraNAthI dIkSita thaI kevalajJAna pAmyA. A kALe paNa keTalAka rUDA jIvo bALavayathI ja saMsAratyAga kare che. A vAtane AThe nahIM paNa Aje eMzIe vicAra karuM chuM ane e vaya para najara jAya che tyAre samajAya che ke jJAnIoe kaheluM sAcuM che. bALapaNa to vahyuM jatuM hatuM. kaMIka nirdoSatA hoya to paNa te jJAnamUlaka na hoya, vaLI saMbhava che ke pUrva saMskAre ahaMkAra jevA anya doSanuM sevana thayuM hoya, bALapaNa to AtmahitanA saMskAra vagara gayuM. ATha, bAra ke cauda varSa ramyAM, bhaNyAM, khAdhuM, pIdhuM ane pasAra thayuM. dhArmika zikSaNano puNyayoga thayo na hato. vyavahArika zikSaNa pUruM prAthamika zALA jeTaluM thayuM hatuM : zALAjIvana bhaNataranI dRSTie saMtoSajanaka hatuM. kuzaLatAne kA2Ne zALAmAM 'moniTara' jevAM kAryothI mAna hatuM. mitro paNa saMskArI hatAM. kathaMcita te samaya sAdhusaMtono paricaya nAnA bALakone, strIone javalle ja thato. Aja jeTalI mokaLAza nahi hoya, chatAM puNyayogavALAM jIvone tevo avasara maLato hato. mArA jIvanamAM e puNyayoga na hato. pAThazALAnuM paNa khAsa zikSaNa maLyuM hatuM. vaLI A jIvane pUrvanuM paNa e kSetranuM saMskArabaLa ochuM hatuM. khera. zvasura pakSano paricaya : agAu jaNAvyuM tema bAnI upasthitimAM bALapaNamAM sagapaNa thayuM hatuM. e kuTuMba paNa khAnadAna hatuM. sAdhanasaMpannatAmAM praveza pAmeluM hatuM. sasarAjInuM (nemacaMdabhAI) bALapaNa garIbImAM gayuM hatuM. yuvAnI ghaNA zramayukta hatI. paraMtu puNyayoge have dhana-yazano udaya thayo hato. vaLI sasarAjIne paNa bIjI vAranAM patnI hatAM. prathama vAranAM patnI be dIkarIo mUkI gujarI gayAM hatAM. bIjI vAranAM patnIthI prathama dIkarI vibhAga-2 40 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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zAradAbahena ane pachI eka dIkaro jagatacaMdra (pati) thayo. patnI prasUti pachI TI.bI.no bhoga banyAM. beeka varSa patie ghaNo zrama karI, dhana kharcI sevA karI paNa kudaratane A sukhanA divaso mAnya na hatA ane patnIne kALa bharakhI gayo. lokasaMjJA kahetI are ! bhogavavA jevuM thayuM ane cAlI. sau kALane doSa detA. kALa zuM kare ? tenuM kArya je kALe je paLe karavAnuM hoya tyAre kare. temAM Indra, caMdra ane jinendra paNa apavAda nathI. to pachI mAnavanuM zuM gajuM ? paNa lokadaSTi yuktAyukta hatI. jema piyara pakSe bahene ghaNA samaya pachI pUrva jIvananI vAto karI hatI tema zvasuramAM paNa (naNaMda) bahene vAta karelI. tenA AdhAre ja A vigata lakhAI che. prathama patnInA be dIkarIonA lagna thaI gayAM hatAM. temAMnAM moTAbahene paNa bALako mUkI yuvAnavayamAM ciravidAya lIdhI hatI. bIjA maMjubahena hayAta hatAM. oha e kALe strI ane bALako TapoTapa kALane AdhIna thatAM. mArAM sAsunuM nAma paNa caMpAbA hatuM. te paNa zAMta ane guNiyala hatAM. sukhanA divaso TUMkA hatA. teo paNa cauda varSanI dIkarI ane nava varSano dIkaro mUkI bharayuvAnImAM sadA mATe poDhI gayAM. jema piyara pakSe banyuM tevuM ja punarAvartana sAsarA pakSe banyuM hatuM. kALe jANe spardhA mAMDI hatI ke zuM? guNiyala patnIne sAjI karavAnA zrama ane bhAva chatAM lakhyA lekha koNa miTAvI zake ? sasarAjI ghaNA duHkhI thayA. azubhanA yoge teo paNa sakhata mAMdagImAM paTakAyA. saMdhivAnuM darada asahya hatuM. bhAgyayoge bImArImAMthI UThayA paNa jidagIbharanI paganI khoDa bImArIe bheTa ApI. arthAt laMgaDAtA cAlavAnuM lamaNe lakhAyuM. prAraMbhamAM banne kuTuMba sarakhI ja saMpanna paristhitimAMthI pasAra thaI rahyAM hatAM : nakaracaMdanAM trIjI vAranAM lagna thayAM. nemacaMdabhAInAM paNa trIjI vAranAM lagna thayAM. yogAnuyoga navAbAnAM (zAradAbA) prathama bAnAM dIkarI arthAt oramAI bahena jemane cauda varSanI rUpALI kanyA hatI, tenI mAtA bALavidhavA hatA. sthiti sAmAnya hatI. vAMcanArane gajabanuM punarAvartana lAgaze. e kanyA (subhadrA) mATe zuM khoTuM ane zuM sAruM e mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-2 41

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prazna koNa uThAve ? ane teno upAya zo ? kuMvArI kanyA mATenuM mUlyAMkana kuTuMba khAnadAna che, ghara moTuM che, sAdhanasaMpatti che. chokarAM hovAM te kaMI agatyanuM na manAtuM. puruSane mATe patnInuM sukha maLatuM, gharanI saMbhALa lenAra patnInI jarUra jaNAtI. bALakane bhalene paNa oramAna "mA" maLatI. e kanyA nAme subhadrA, paNa AgaLanI patnInI dIkarInuM nAma subhadrA hovAthI nAma badalAyuM. cauda varSanI e kanyA have lakSmI (sAsu) nAme nemacaMdabhAI sAthe paraNIne sAsare AvI tyAre sapatnInI kanyAo samavayaska hatI. nemacaMdabhAIne page khoDa hatI. paraMtu kuTuMba khAnadAna, sAdhanasaMpanna AthI e suMdara kanyA sAthe lagna thaI gayAM. lakSmIbAnI hAjarImAM mAruM sagapaNa thayuM hatuM. bALapaNanA sagapaNane yogya prasaMgo : yogAnuyoga mAruM piyara ane sAsaruM eka ja poLamAM hatuM, banne ghara vacce cAlatA javAmAM traNacAra miniTa thatI. eka ja dIkaro ane pitA hoMzIlA. avAranavAra prasaMge putravadhUne bolAvavAnI hoMza thAya. A bAju bApujI saMpanna hatA. chasAta varSanI mArI uMmara, sAsarAnI koI gatAgama nahi, suMdara vastro ane dAgInAnI sajAvaTa, mAthe sAcA jarInI bharelI makhamalanI TopI, AkhA paganAM mojAM-bUTa, kaMThamAM motIno kaoNlara, pUrI sajAvaTa karIne bApujI joIne harakhAtA, sAsare mokalatA. sAsare lakSmIbA harakhAtAM, sasarAjI khoLAmAM besADatA. sAsare paNa lADa-prema, khAvApIvAnI moja. Ama sAsare javAmAM paNa bALasulabha AnaMda hato. baheno A badhuM AnaMdathI kahetAM. sAMje vidAya thatAM mIThAInuM pekeTa. divALI hoya to phaTAkaDAnuM baoNksa laIne bApujInA ghera javAnuM. zvasura pakSanI saMpannatA. tame ja kaho bALapaNamAM A badhuM sagapaNanuM gaLapaNa kharuM ne? (baheno pAsethI sAMbhaLeluM) sasarAjIe muMbaI vyApArakSetre vistAra karyo. vyApArI kuzaLatA ane bAhozIthI ghaNI saphaLatA prApta karI. Ama patino abhyAsa muMbaI thayo. vaLI vyApAramAM bhAgIdAro chUTA thatAM sasarAjI puna: amadAvAda pAchA AvyA. navI peDhI zarU karI, te Aje paNa oLakhAya che sI. ke. vohorA eNnDa kaM. "sI" ane "ke" anya bhAgIdAro voharA nemacaMdabhAI. vibhAga-2 mArI maMgalayAtrA 42

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dhaMdho lokhaMDano hato. nemacaMdabhAIne bALako "bhAI' kahetA. jagatacaMdrane bAbu' kahetA. nokaro moTA zeTha ane nAnA zeTha kahetA. tyAre mArI vaya 11 varSanI lagabhaga hatI. nAnAM naNaMda zAradAbahenanAM lagna levAyAM. lakSmIbA paheravA-oDhavAnA zokhIna hatAM, saMpannatA hatI, bhAI emAM sAtha ApatA. muMbaI kharIdI mATe gayA hatA. tyAM potAnA mATe karyofTanI moTA camakatA TIkAvALI sADI ane bIjI vastuo kharIdI. mAre mATe caNiyo, coLI, oDhaNI, camakatA (khoTA hIrA jaDelA ryorjaTanAM vastro tathA eka caLakatI TIkIvALuM phroka lAvyAM hatAM. sau kahetAM ke jyAre lakSmIe mAthAmAM nAganI phaNA jevo vALano moTo masa aMboDo gUMcyo ane A sADI paherI zaNagAra sajyA tyAre sau emane jovA bhegAM thayAM hatAM. ane mane jyAre kAca jevA hIrA jaDelAM vastro paherAvI taiyAra karI tyAre DhIMgalI jevI lAgatI vahune badhA bolAvI pAse UbhI rAkhIne jotA. mane bIjI kaMI akkala hoziyArI na hatI. paNa bALasulabha ceSTA pramANe A bALapaNanA sagapaNanuM gaLapaNa lAgatuM haze. Aje e kAMI smaraNano koI vikalpa nathI. tyAre ke Aje te bALasulabha ceSTA ja hatI ne ! prasaMgo lakhavA pUratuM ja che. tyAra pachI 13 varSanI vaye lagnanA AgalA varSe moTAbhAInA mitranI putrInA lagna nimitte vaDIlo muMbaI laI gayA hatA. tyAre teo to saMsAravyavahAra ane vyApAramAM kuzaLatA dharAvatA thayA hatA. mane paNa vaya pramANe kaMI samaja pedA thaI hatI. tyAre vaLI te samaya pramANe jIvane AnaMda hato. haravuM, pharavuM, khAvuM, pIvuM; badhuM puNyanA udayavALuM hatuM. nAnAmoTA dareka prasaMge vaDIlo hoMzathI bolAvatA. premathI rAkhatA. baMne baheno samajavA jevuM samajAvatAM. jaina ane vohorA saraneIma? nemacaMdabhAIno dhaMdho lokhaMDano hato. te samaye jaina vANiyA moTe bhAge kApaDa ke kariyANAno dhaMdho kare. lokhaMDano dhaMdho vahorAo karatA, eTale vahorAnA dhaMdhAvALAne kAraNe kadAca lakhANamAM vahorA thayuM hoya. kuTuMbamAM eka vaDIla kahetA asala pAMcasAta peDhI pahelAM anya mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-2 43

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pradezathI koI saMpanna kuTuMba yAtrAe AveluM, mArgamAM nANAM khUTayAM. jAte khUba ja uttama ane zrImaMta vahorA kuTuMba. te kuTuMbane kaMI paNa paricaya vagara vaDIloe nANAM dhIryA hatAM. tethI teNe potAnA mAnabharyA e paricayamAM ""vahorA" zabda amArA vaDIlane Apyo hato. vaLI koI vaDIla kahetA te samaye surata tamArA vaDIlo sAdhu mahAtmAone voharAvavAno khUba lAbha letA Ama voharAvavAvALAmAMthI vohorA rahyuM. je hoya te paNa ame ""vorA" nahIM paraMtu "vahorAmAMthI oLakhAIe chIe. samayanuM vaheNa vahyuM jatuM hatuM ? amAruM bALakonuM jIvana bhaNavAmAM, puruSonuM jIvana vyApAra-dhaMdhAmAM, sAMsArika pravRttiomAM, sukhabhogamAM, patnIonuM jIvana ghara-vyavahAra saMbhALavAmAM pasAra thaI rahyuM hatuM. jANe kaMI ja banyuM nathI ! ane je cAle che te ThIka che tema samayanA vaheNamAM saunuM jIvana jotarAI gayuM hatuM. caMpAbAnI ciravidAyanI, jyAre AjanI bhUmikAe e saMyogo tarapha dRSTi karuM chuM tyAre ema jaNAya ke kyAM gayo e divasano kalpAMta, kyAM dharabAI gaI e samayanI karuNa paristhiti? anAdi kALathI saMsAranA AvA prakAro, e jANe jIvane sadI gayelo krama che. koI maryuM nathI, ane koIne maravAnuM nathI ! duHkhane mAthe upADIne ochuM pharavAnuM hoya ? vairAgyano koI aMza jaNAya tevA prakAzanuM koI cihana na hatuM. joke vairAgya jevo vicAra jhabake evuM yogabaLa ane satsaMga kyAM hatAM ? ane hatAM to A paMcamakALamAM aMtaranI ruci thavI durlabha ja manAI che. tyAre sAdhujanonA upadezanuM sAdhana to hatuM ja, paraMtu sAMsArika jIvananA mohamAM e upadeza mohanA kavacane bhedI zakato na hato. Aje paNa mohanuM sAmrAjaya pragaTa ja che ne ! bApujInA grahano palaTo : zAradAbAne caMpAbAnI jema saMtAnaprAptino yoga hato. paNa dhanaprAptinA yogamAM temanuM bhAgya nabaLuM nIvaDyuM. temAM temano doSa na hato. pUrva karmano tevA prakArano udaya hato. bApujIno kApaDano dhIkato dhaMdho cAlato hato. bajAramAM nakaracaMda maganalAlanuM nAma hatuM. paNa bhAgye vibhAga-2 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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bhulAvyA. kApaDano dhaMdho tyajI ze2bajA2mAM jhukAvyuM. ane saMpattinA vaheNa osaravA mAMDayAM. azubhano yoga cAre bAjuthI phUTI nIkaLyo. joke hajI bApujInA magajanI khumArI sateja hatI. bApujInAM mAtA-pitAnI hayAtI hatI, moTAbhAI hatA. mAtApitA baMnenA ghare rahetAM. ghara vigerenA bhAga vaheMcavAmAM kaMI vAMdho paDyo. bhAI-bhAInA saMbaMdha maTI gayA. saMpattinI panotI sAthe bApujInI prema-sagAI-saMbaMdhanI panotIno jANe prAraMbha thayo. jJAnIo kahe che aho ! ajJAnavaza jIvo jaDa padArthanA mamatvane kAraNe, ane e mArA che evA ahamnA kA2Ne jIvo sAthe vera bAMdhI traNe kALanuM duHkha vahore che. eka to bhUtakALano paudgalika padArthonA paricayathI paDelA duHkhadAyI rAgano saMskAra, vartamAnamAM tenA udayane AdhIna rahI zuddha svabhAvathI cyuta thavuM, atyaMta duHkhadAyaka che. dUrita karma, je raDatA paNa jIve bhogavavuM paDe che. je padArtho mATe moha karyo hato te padArthamAMthI eka 52mANu jeTalo aMza paNa sAthe laI javAto nathI, chatAM ghora ajJAnavaza jIva jIvananA marmane ane dharmane gumAvI de che. karmano nacAvyo nAce che. mahad aMze ApaNI saunI sthiti AvI che. RNAnubaMdhanI vicitratA paNa evI ke koI nimitta maLatA premasneha, naSTa thaI jIvomAM ve2-vRtti sthAna le che. evuM kaMIka bApujInA jIvanamAM banyuM te karmanI vicitratA ja hatI. vaLI ahIM e aTakayuM nahIM. A hakIkata koI vyaktinI che te mAnIne lakhavI nathI. pUrvanA saMcita azabha karmanA udaye gherAI jatAM jIvonI dazAnuM A citra che. ema samajIne lakhuM chuM. saune mATe vicAraNIya che. Aje vicAruM chuM tyAre temAM ghaNo bodhapATha maLe che. bApujI Ama to te samayanA sAdhubhagavaMtonA kaMIka paricayamAM hatA. vyAkhyAnamAM praznakartA hatA. pUjAo rAga-rAgaNImAM bhaNAvavAmAM kuzaLa hatA. caMpAbA guNiyala hatAM. zAradAbA to bhalAM hatAM. vaLI e kALe strI javalle ja svataMtra vyaktitva dharAvatI. joke strIo evA kauTuMbika klezamAM sAmela nA ja hoya evuM mAnavAnuM nathI. chatAM zAradAbAnI bhalAI hatI te klezamAM paDatAM nahi. khera ! bApujI buddhi pratibhAvALA mArI maMgalayAtrA 45 vibhAga-2

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hatA, paraMtu bhAgya rUThayuM hatuM ne ? kahe che, "sukha veLA - svajana ghaNA, duHkha veLA viralA saMsAra" azubhanuM pariNAma evuM che. saMpatti gaI, Apattie barAbaranuM jora karyuM. bhAIno saMbaMdha gayo. putra paNa judo thayo. anyonya saMbaMdho na rahyA. dukAnamAMthI bhAgIdAra, mAmA sau vidAya thayA. dukAna vastI thaI. bApujI ekalA rahyA. ane zerabajArano vyApAra karatA rahyA. temanA bhAgye duHkha ja UbhuM thayuM. vyAja jAya paNa samULagI mUDI ane anya sAdhano homAI gayA tevI sthiti thaI. koI Azcarya na pAmazo, paNa bodha pAmajo. jIva duHkhane kevuM AmaMtraNa Ape che? ahIM viSayAMtara nathI karavuM. jaina darzanamAM kathAnI praNAlI ja "poLamAM poLanI jema', kathAmAM kathAnI che. vaLI AmAM mArI bApujInA doSadarzananI rajUAta paNa nathI. kevaLa saMsAramAM janmelA jIvone, saMbaMdhomAM paNa kevA puNyayoganI jarUra che ke jenA kAraNe mAnavajIvana sukhethI jIvI zakAya. emAM mahApuNya hoya to dharmamArge jIvIne nikaTa muktigAmI thAya. nahi to aMjAma duHkhamaya ja che. vacalA mAmA je bApujInI peDhImAM besatA hatA. zerabajAramAM jatA bApujInuM dhyAna A peDhImAM rahetuM nahi. ane sALAnI bahu kuzaLatA nahi, eTale kaMI ne kaMI vAMdho paDe. temAMthI thayo jhaghaDo ane temanI sAthe paNa saMbaMdha samApta thayo. dukAna paNa Akhare vastI thaI. A viSamatAno bhoga banI bicArI dAdI (nAnI) : saune sAMbhaLIne Azcarya thaze ke AnA chAMTA kayAM UDyA? bApujI sAthe matabheda thatAM mAmAo sAthe saMbaMdha na rahyo. A pariNAmano bhoga dAdI ane ame traNa bhAI-bahena paNa banyAM. bApujIe bahenane bolAvIne jaNAvyuM : ""tamAre traNe bALakoe mosALa paga na mUkavo. e gharanuM pANI paNa na pIvuM, dAdIne maLavuM nahi." bApujInI kahevAnI kaDakatA evI hatI ke koI kaMI bolavAnI hiMmata na kare. zAradAbAnuM paNa AmAM kaMI bApujIne kahevAnuM koI gajuM nahi. dAdInA paNa pUrva janmanAM pApa udayamAM AvyAM haze ? ame paNa tenA bhAgIdAra hoIzuM ne ? jo ke bApujI amArA para prema rAkhatA, saMbhALa letA. paraMtu A bAbatamAM vibhAga-2 mArI maMgalayAtrA 46

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bAMdhachoDa zakya na hatI. lAgaNIpradhAna chatAM bApujI Ama ugra kema thayA te samajavAnuM tyAre amAruM gajuM na hatuM. bahena kahetI, e divase caMpAbA gujarI gaI hatI ane manane jevo ghA paDyo hato te jANe punaH khotarAyo. ApaNe have dAdIne maLavAnuM nathI ema kahI, amane pAse besADI khUba raDI. teNe ghaNAM varSo pachI A vAta kahI tyAre amArAM mana dravI gayAM hatAM. Aje e vicArI zakuM chuM ke koI khUNe besIne koIne evA viyoga karAvavAmAM, karavAmAM, anumodavAmAM doSa karyA haze tenuM ja, A pariNAma haze. vAstavamAM "e karma taNo prasAda !' dAdI bicArI to hatI ja, have kayo zabda vAparavo !? amArA karatAM dAdInI hAlata hRdayane kaMpAve tevI hatI. te kahetI, caMpAnA gayA pachI mAruM jIvana eka zrApa jevuM thayuM che. tamArAM moM joI jIvatI hatI have to prabhu mane ja upADe to sAruM ! paNa dila kAMI jhAlyuM rahe ! amArA gharanI pachavADe eka dUranA sagA rahe. te sau bhalA hatA. eka divasa tyAM dAdI AvI. tapAsa karI. nakaracaMda ghera nathI. bAjuvALAne kahe : mArAM bALakone bolAvone ! e bahene bArImAMthI dhImethI bahenane bUma pADIne kahyuM, "tamArAM dAdI AvyAM che." bahena kahetI, prathama to huM mUMjhAI gaI. paNa hiMmata karIne gaI. prathamanI thoDI miniTo zuM thayuM teno vAMcanArane khyAla Avyo haze. bAnA mRtyunA rudanane yAda karAve tevuM baMne vaLagIne raDyAM. ame bhAIbahena to zALAe gayAM hatAM. chevaTe pADozIe samajAvI chAnAM rAkhyAM. dAdInA prema mATe zuM lakhuM ? sAllAne cheDe thoDAM kAju, drAkSa, badAma bAMdhIne lAvI hatI. bahenane sUcanA ApI, "bhAIlAne ghaNuM bhaNAvavAno che eTale badAma ene Apajo. ane tame baMne baheno kAju khAjo." e kALa mATe A vicArasaraNI svAbhAvika hatI. amane svIkArya hatI. vastuo kImatI hatI kAraNa ke sAthe dAdInA haiyAnuM heta hatuM. pachI to mahine ekabe vAra chUpI rIte dAdI AvatI. kAju, badAma cheDe bAMdhIne lAvatI. anyonya moDhAM joIne AzvAsana meLavatAM. saraLa citta zAradAbA temane A lAgaNI samajAtI ke game tema, te jANatAM paNa mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-2 47

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bApujIne kaMI kahetA nahi. hA, koI vAra bApujI jANI jatA tyAre ThapakAno bhoga ame banatAM paNa pachI to temaNe te svIkArI lIdhuM hatuM. puNyavaMtI caMpAbAnA gayA pachI mosALamAM mAmAo paNa meLa na rAkhI zakyA. moTAmAmAM to bahAragAma nokarImAM hatA. vacalA ane nAnA mAmAnI patnIone meLa na rahyo. sau judAM thayAM. dAdIne paNa eka oraDI ApI judI rAkhI. bAnA zokathI dAdI nabaLI paDI hatI. have uMmara paNa thaI hatI. zuM rAMdhavuM, zuM khAvuM, e tene mATe moTI vimAsaNa hatI. pote ja bAMdhelAM karmanI kiMmata cUkavyA vagara chUTako na hato. paNa ajJAnavaza navAM karmo baMdhAtAM hatAM. dAdI lezamAMthI bahAra na AvI. Ama dAdI vahelI vRddha thaI gaI. bodhano koI yoga na hato. ema dAdInuM jIvana karmanA dhakke caDheluM samayanA vaheNamAM vahetuM hatuM. bahenanI vaya vadhatAM UbhI thayelI mUMjhavaNa H * mArA piyarapakSe ane sAsarApakSe navAM bAnuM AvavuM, saunuM kauTuMbika jIvanamAM goThavAI javuM, ema jIvana nabhatuM hatuM. lakSmIbA niHsaMtAna rahyA. prasaMgopAtta mAre sAsare AvavAnuM thatuM. ema samaya jatAM mArI vaya cauda varasanI thaI. tyAre cauda varSe kharekhara kanyA kAyadAthI lagnane yogya gaNAtI. sAsare eka ja putra. sasarAjInI tabiyata kaMIka nAjuka eTale lagnanI utAvaLa karatA. A bAju bahenanuM sagapaNa thayuM na hatuM. tenuM zarIra ThIka sthaLabhAre hatuM. vaLI bahene manamAM nizcaya karelo ke bIjavarane (jene AgaLa patnI thaI hoya) paraNuM nahi. ema karatAM enI vaya bAvIsa varSanI thaI. te kALa mATe A vaya ghaNI moTI kahevAya. mArAM lagna mATe AvatuM varSa nakkI thayuM hatuM. eTale bApujI khUba ciMtAmAM hatA. moTInAM lagna karyA vagara nAnInAM lagna karavAnI sAmAjika daSTie mUMjhavaNa hatI. bIjavaranAM saMpanna ghara maLatAM hatAM. paNa bahenanI nA hatI. paMthavara ja joIe. chevaTe khAnadAna kuTuMbano yuvAna paMthavara nakkI thayo. koInI peDhImAM nokarI karato hato. bApadAdAno dhaMdho saMkelAI gayo hato. tyAM paNa navAM bA hatAM. ane khUba vastArI hatA. nAnuM ghara hatuM paNa paMthavara sAMbhaLIne bahena taiyAra thaI. ene khyAla paNa nahi hoya ke paMthavaranA mohamAM pUruM vibhAga-2 mArI maMgalayAtrA 48

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jIvana ja samasyA banaze. bhAvinI bhItaranuM rahasya samajavAnuM mAnavInuM gajuM nahi ne ! karmarUpa bhAgya keTalA nAca nacAve che. jIva naTa banIne nAce che. Aje vicAruM chuM to e ja vicAra Ave che ke AvA duHkhamaya saMsAramAM jIva kaI bhramaNAthI sukha zodhato haze ? duHkha maLavA chatAM sukhanI AzAe jIva kevI yAtanA sahe che ? bhagavAne saMsAranA svarUpanuM varNana karyuM che te che to bihAmaNuM paNa jIvane mohavaza te lobhAmaNuM lAgyuM che. paraMtu A gUDhatA samajavAnuM jJAna kyAM che ? tyAre to na ja hatuM. ane Aje paNa kevaLa samajAI gayuM che tema nathI. bahenanAM lagna paNa duHkhadAyaka : 1935 lagabhaga bahenanAM sagapaNa thayAM. tarata ja lagna levAyAM. bApujInI Arthika sthiti nabaLI paDI hatI. atyAra sudhI svajana mitro, putra vi. sAthe saMbaMdho samApta thayA hatA. te azubhayogamAM hajI bIjanA aMkura phUTyA. dhanalakSmIe pitA sAthe saMbaMdha tyajI dIdho. ghaNI mUMjhavaNamAM kaMIka sagavaDa karI bahenanAM lagna lIdhAM. mAre have cha-ATha mahinA bahena vagara gALavAnA hatA. e samaye mAre mATe, e divaso kaparA hatA. eTale evuM nakkI karyuM ke lagna sudhI zALAjIvana cAlu rAkhavuM. ane e rIte sAta dho2Nano abhyAsa pUro karI, phakta cha-ATha mAsa mATe mAdhyamika zALAnA daravAjA meM joyA hatA. nakkI samaye bahenanAM lagna thaI gayAM, bahena vidAya thaI. bahenane vaLAvI huM ane bApujI khUba raDayAM. baMnenuM kAraNa juduM hatuM. huM bahena pAse mAnuM vAtsalya meLavIne moTI thaI hatI eTale bahenano viyoga mane satAvato. bApujInA raDavAnuM kAraNa thoDuM gUDha hatuM te pachIthI samajAyuM. paMthavara joyo paNa dhaMdho nahi, sAmAnya nokarI, gharamAM mokaLAza nahi, kula nava jeTalAM bhAI-baheno, A dIkarI tyAM kevI rIte sukha pAmaze ? e vAtathI, rAta bApujIe raDavAmAM gALI. rAganuM baLa mAnavIne kSobha pamADe che te svAbhAvika che. bIje divase savAre bahena sAsarethI AvI, bApujI pAse u52 gaI mArI maMgalayAtrA 49 vibhAga-2

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ane baMneno raDavAno moTo avAja saMbhaLAyo. mAruM to kaMI samajavAnuM gajuM nahi. koI kaMI bole nahi. zAradAbA sUnamUna beThAM hatAM. vidhavA thayelI dIkarI AvuM raDe te samajAya paNa sAsarethI AvelI dIkarIno Avo kalpAMta ! A prasaMganuM rahasya pAchaLathI samajAyuM. bahenane sAsare rasoDAmAM temanA bhAre zarIre besI zake teTalI jagA ja nahotI. temanA saMDAsamAM bahena besatI tyAre bhIMtamAM bhIDAI jatI. ane teno oraDo paNa evA ja mApano hato. jyAre huM bahenane ghare gaI tyAre meM A joyuM. tyAre temanA rudanano ghaTasphoTa thayo. patinI nokarI rU. 60nI te paNa niyamita nahi, te moTI samasyA hatI. vaLI koI kAraNasara nAnA eka o2DAmAM e ja gharamAM judA thayA. divase tyAM rasoI kare rAtre tyAM ja sUI jAya. divaso pasAra thatA hatA. bahena khUba sahiSNu hatAM. Ama kaMI sukha nahotuM sivAya ke pariNIta jIvananuM jAtIya sukha. joke tyAre mane kaMI bahu samajAtuM nahi. ema karatAM ATha mAsa to vahI gayA. mArAM lagnanI taiyArI karavAnI hatI. konI prArthanAthI thAya che ? sUrya konI prArthanAthI Uge che ? phUla konI prArthanAthI khIle che ? pANI konI prArthanAthI tarasa chipAve che ? vAyu konI prArthanAthI vahe che ? vAdaLa konI prArthanAthI varase che ? koyala konI prArthanAthI Tahuke che ? e temano svabhAva che, bhagavAnano paNa paropakAra karavAno svabhAva che. hemacandrasUrijI vItarAga stotramAM kahe che : 'saMvatra vAdhavAH' bhagavAna ApaNane sUcave che, tame kadI paropakAramAM saMbaMdha jozo nahIM. vibhAga-2 50 A. zrI kalApUrNasUrijI mArI maMgalayAtrA

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zrI jagatacaMdra nemacaMda vohorAnuM kuTuMba sunaMdAbahena vohorA zrI jagatacaMdra vohorA atula, dakSA putra, putrI vaya: 7 - 2

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3 sIsArika pariNito jIvano saurabha vaya maryAdA 4 thI ra4 * mArA lagna levAyA * bApujInA pakSe mUMjhavaNa * gRha vyavahAranuM zikSaNa * zvasurapakSe sukhasAmagrIthI sukhajIvana * pitA-putranI Adarza joDI * maMgalayAtrAmAM dharmabhAvanAnuM eka kiraNa * pU. AcArya mahAtmAono samAgama * be saMtAnonI prApti * aNasamajanuM pariNAma ane samAdhAna * aMgata jIvanacaryA * brahmacaryano bodha ane vratamAM vikSepa * dAdInI ciravidAya * bhAI, vaDIlanI ciravidAya XTRE "sukha saMpa sajjanatA vinaya paza rasaadhika varasAvajo - sevA dharamanA zokha ama aNu aNu viSe ubharAvajo.'' "sukha samayamAM chakI na javuM, duHkhamAM na hiMmata hAravI sukha duHkha sadA TakatA nathI, e nIti ura utAravI.''

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sukha duHkhanuM kaMda (saMsAramAM sukha puNyodayathI maLe che mATe puNya karo te hakIkata hovA chatAM sAthe e samajavuM jarUrI che ke e sukha bhogavavA jevuM lAge e pApodaya che. bhale te puNyodayathI maLyuM paraMtu te sukha che ema mAnI bhogave te manuSyabhava hArI jAya che, ane durgatigAmI thAya che. kAraNa te to pApAnubaMdhI puNya che. puNyanA samayamAM saguNa saMpanna thavuM pApanA udayamAM du:khano svIkAra karI samatA rAkhavI. jaina zAsana-vItarAga mArga bhautika IcchApUrti mATe nathI. paraMtu IcchA du:khanuM mULa che tethI tene naSTa karavAno mArga e vItarAga mArga che. anukULatAno rAga choDo pratikULatAno dveSa choDo A temanA bodhano sAra che. A maMtra AtmasAta karavo. - pU.A.zrI naravAhanasUrijI

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sAMsArika pariNIta jIvanasaurabha mArAM lagna levAyAM : 1936mAM mArI vaya cauda varSanI thaI, mArAM lagnanI tithi nakkI thaI. sagapaNa pachI eka dasakA pachI lagna levAyAM hatAM. sagapaNa samaye baMne pakSanI sthiti samAna saMpanna hatI. paraMtu A dasakAmAM pitRpakSe sthiti ghaNI palaTAI gaI. Arthika bhIMsa UbhI thaI hatI. sAsaruM ane piyara eka poLa te mAMDavInI poLanI, nAgajIbhUdaranI poLamAM hatA. lagna samaye mArI vaya to nAnI hatI. teonI vIsa varSanI hatI, paraMtu agAu jaNAvyuM tema sasarAjInI tabiyata nAjuka hatI, vaya vadhatI hatI tethI lagna nAnI vayamAM levAyA, joke te samaye e vaya nAnI gaNAtI na hatI. nemacaMdabhAInI (have 'bhAI' kahIzuM) saMpatti vadhatI gaI. poLanAM moTAM be makAno hatAM. vaLI tyAre "nadIpAra' jyAM chuTTI jagA hatI. cAre bAju vanarAjI, kyAMka zAkabhAjInAM khetaro, rastA kyAMka kAcA, hamaNAMnA phArma hAusa jevuM hatuM. eka baMgalo tyAM vaDIle bhADe rAkhyo. sAMsArika rIte sau sukhamAM rahetAM hatAM. baheno (naNaMdo) paraNIne sAsare hatI. sAsu lakSmIbA zokhIna, mojI svabhAvanAM, bharatagUMthaNamAM khUba kuzaLa, gAvAbajAvavAmAM kuzaLa. emane gharavyavasthA ane vyavahAra prayojana pratye rasa ocho. lakSya paNa nahIM. AthI bhAInI kuzaLatA ane baMne baheno avAranavAra AvI badhu saMbhALI letA. lakSmIbA piyaramAM vidhavA mAnuM lADakuM eka ja saMtAna eTale ane ghaNI nAnI uMmaramAM lagna thayAM; AvAM kAraNothI temanI gRhavyavasthAnI kuzaLatA na keLavAI. khera, te samayanA nokaravargamAM kAmanI kALajI jevA kAraNe gharavyavasthA suMdara rIte nabhatI hatI. bhArata dezamAM Ame nokaravarga ghaNo bahoLo hato ane che. te praNAlIe A gharamAM paNa be nokaro, rasoIyo, DrAyavara vi. hatA. zevaroleTa gADI AMgaNe hAthInI jema zobhatI hatI. vaLI pachIthI bagI (ghoDAnI vikaToriyA), nAnI moTara, nAnI ghoDAgADI jevAM vAhano hatA. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-3 53

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jagatacaMdra meTrika sudhI pahoMcyA. jagatacaMdrane vaDIlo lADamAM "bAbu' kahetA. A lekhanamAM "teo"thI lakhIzuM. e kALe potAno dhIkhato dhaMdho hoya to putrane vadhu bhaNAvavAnuM prayojana na jaNAtuM. vaLI bhAInI tabiyata paNa nabaLI. lakSmIbAne saMtAna nahi. AthI bhAIe 18 varSanI vaye putrane dhaMdhAmAM joDI dIdho. ane ekavIsamA varSe lagna levAyAM. jaina dharmanA abhyAdhika saMskAra paNa rUDA jIvane upakArI thAya che. I.sa. 1935mAM kuzaLa ane kAryakSama bhAIe mahAvIra jaina sosAyaTInuM Ayojana karyuM. jyAM khetaro hatAM te jamInane mitro bhegA karI kharIdI lIdhI. bAra ploTa pADyA. pote dIrdhadaSTithI be ploTa rAkhyA. tyAre AjanI jema lenAranI paDApaDI na hatI. khUba mahenata karI sosAyaTI UbhI karI, potAnA eka bhANeja lAlabhAIne taiyAra karyA. ane baMnee baMgalA bAMdhavAnI zarUAta karI. te samayanI bhAvanA evI ke jaina sosAyaTI hoya tyAM daherAsara hovuM joIe. prabhunuM sthAna paheluM rakhAtuM. ane temaNe baMgalAmAM suMdara majAnuM cAMdInA pabAsanavALuM daherAsara karyuM. bhAvanA to kevI ke eka ploTamAM baMgalo ane bIjA ploTamAM prabhunI AMgInAM phUla mATe 1200 vArano bAga. tene mATe pAlItANAthI mALI rAkhavAmAM Avyo. mogarA, gulAba, jAsuda, jAI, jUI ema vividha phUlono thALa bharAya. AjubAjunA daherAsare paNa mokale ane "teo" bhAvavibhora thaIne jAte suMdara AMgI race. A phUlano aMgata upayoga karatA nahi. dara mAse pU. lAlabhAI suMdara snAtrapUjA bhaNAve. prasaMge paMcakalyANa vi.nI pUjA paNa teo bhaNAve. A nimitte bhaktino saMskAra teone ghaNo daDha thayelo. zAstrAbhyAsa, sUtrAbhyAsa na thAya paNa bhaktithI prasanna rahetA. be ja stavana AvaDe paNa masta thaI teo gAyA ja kare. gharamAM saMpannatA hatI. eka ja saMtAna ane enI vahu lAvavAno saune bhAre utsAha hato. baMgalo taiyAra thayo. hajI amArAM lagna thayAM na hatAM. paNa vaDIle amane sajoDe besADI 1936mAM vAstupUjana karAvyuM. vaLI, jharUkhAvALo baMgalo tyAre mInI mahela jevo lAgato. baMgalAmAM ghara-daherAsara tethI snAtrapUjA ane svAmI-vAtsalya te divase khUba ja vibhAga-3 54 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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ThAThathI karyA hatA. I.sa. 1936mAM amArAM lagna levAyAM. lagna e mAnavajIvanano utsava che. Aje lagna to badhA hoMzathIja kare che, chatAM atre saheja varNana prasaMgopAtta jaNAvuM chuM. sAsare dasa divasa pahelAM ujavaNI zarU thaI. aThThAI mahotsavathI zubha prAraMbha thayo. garabA-goyaNIo paNa kharAM. temAM jyAM jyAM putravadhUne bolAvI zakAya te pramANe mAre AvavAnuM. Ama ghaNo ThAThamATha goThavAyo. dasanA vIsa kharcAya to vAMdho na hato. putra khUba vinayI, kuzaLa, pitRpremano Adarza eTale pitA-putra khUba ja prasanna rahetA. pUruM kuTuMba AnaMdamAM hatuM. kuTuMbamAM bhAInI khUba suvAsa hatI eTale kuTuMbanA anya sau A prasaMgamAM prasanna hatA. tyAre bApujInA pakSe mUMjhavaNa : A bAju mArA piyarapakSe jANe sopo paDI gayo hato. bApujIne mArAM lagna to utsAhathI karavAM hatAM. temanA vicAramAM ThAThamATha kaMI ocho na hato paNa bhAgya rUkyuM hatuM. kApaDanI peDhInI to vastI thaI gaI hatI. zerabajAramAM roje gumAvIne ja ghare AvatA. eka vAra bApujInA zabdo bahene kahyA ""caMpAnI pAchaLa lakSmIne paga thayA che. eka dIkarI gaI ane vadhelI lakSmIe paga karyA. bIjI dIkarI vaLAvuM te pahelAM lakSmIe chellA paga paNa upADI lIdhA !" ema bApujI vyathA vyakta karatA. kyAM javuM, konI pAse nANAM laI prasaMga pAra pADavo tenI mUMjhavaNamAM AnaMda kyAMthI hoya? najIkanA, putra bhAI ke bhAgIdAra sAthe to saMbaMdha samApta thayA hatA. eka bAju ati umaLako hato. bIjI bAju mUMjhavaNa hatI. sAmA pakSa pramANe vyavahAra nabhAvavo paDe. vaLI bApujInI aMdaranI sthiti hajI jAhera thaI na hatI. samAjamAM hajI nakaracaMda maganalAlanI khyAti hatI. vaLI sAmA pakSe paNa suMdara AvakAranI AzA hoya. ghaNI mUMjhavaNa anubhavI. Akhare bApujI bhAI pAse AvyA. eka samaye zrImaMtAImAM mAthuM UMcuM rAkhanAra, bAhoza, kuzaLa evA puruSanI khumArI kyAM ane AjanI lAcArI kyAM ? bApujI bhAI pAse AvyA, temaNe jaNAvyuM ke "zeTha, tamAre mArI mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-3 55

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vahAre AvavAnuM che. tamAro utsAha ane sAmAjika pratiSThA jANuM chuM. jo mArI sthiti hota to mArI poLathI tamArI sosAyaTI sudhI mAMDavo kADhI tamAruM svAgata karuM. paNa huM gharane ja sajAvI zake tevI sthitimAM nathI. chevaTe poLa sudhIno mAMDavo tamArI sahAyathI Ubho karI mArI-tamArI baMnenI zobhA sAcavavI che. jo anya pAse jauM to kaheze pArake paise mAMDavA kADhavAnI zI jarUra che ?" TUMkamAM bApujInI e vakhatanI vyathA mATe kaMI lakhavAnuM paNa sUjhatuM nathI. ema lAge che A badhuM lakhavAno zo artha che ? vaLI huM to A viSe ajJAta hatI. bhAIne evI rakama ApavAnI suvidhA hatI. eTale temaNe premapUrvaka e kAma patAvyuM. varSo sudhI to A vAta temanA ane teonA udAra udaramAM daTAIne ja rahI. kyAMka lakSmIbAne kahevAI jatAM bahAra AvelI. mane paNa tyAre ja khabara paDI. joke pitA-putranI udAratAthI e badhuM zamI gayuM. rakama copaDe caDhAvI ja na hatI, tevI udAratA hatI. TUMkamAM baMne pakSe umaMgathI ane samayocita lagnaprasaMga UjavAI gayo. pitA-putra vivekI ane samajadAra hatA. temanI koI mAMga na hatI. vaLI temane kaMI khoTa na hatI. gharamAM putravadhUnA AgamananI temane hoMza hatI. tethI vizeSa apekSA na hatI. zubha vidAya ke vasamI vidAya ? bApujInI dazA : bApujIe maNano bhAra rAkhIne prasaMga pUro karyo. mArI uMmara Ama to nAnI. bahenanA vAtsalyamAM kaMI vizeSa duHkha jaNAyuM na hatuM. sAsarA pakSe to samAjamAM sau kahetA ke nakaracaMdanI dIkarI sonAnI TekarI para beThI. joke e samaye anya atisaMpanna kuTuMbo hatAM. A to samayanAM gANAM che. eTale bApujIne bahenanI tulanAmAM mAre mATe khUba nirAMta hatI. paNa pelA bojathI ke game tema vaLAvatI vakhate bApujI khUba raDyA, huM paNa raDI, vAtAvaraNa khUba ja gaMbhIra banI gayuM. koIe bApujIne saMbhALI lIdhA. mArAthI dUra laI gayA. zevaroleTa gADImAM dIkarI vidAya thaI. jayAre sAsare pahoMcI tyAM to saune AnaMda ja AnaMda hato. yadyapi te vakhate mArI vicArazakti kevaLa jyAM Ave tenA vAtAvaraNane anusaravAnuM vibhAga-3 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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hatuM. sAsare khUba AvakAra maLyo. sAhajika vRtti anusAra patino yoga paNa sukhada hato. teo prasannacitta hatA. te divasonI prasaMganI vidhio pUrI thaI. mahemAno, sagAM sau vidAya thayAM. mAruM have gharamAM rojiMduM jIvana zarU thayuM hatuM. gRhasthajIvananuM zikSaNa : bALapaNathI sAsare AvatI eTale sau paricita hatAM, chatAM saMyogAdhIna pharaka hato. vAstavamAM navA jIvanano prAraMbha hato. bApujIne tyAM kaMI kAmanI javAbadArI na hatI, cheka sudhI zALAe gaI eTale gRhakAryanI kuzaLatA na hatI. vaLI sAsare nokaracAkaro, sAdhanasAmagrInI vipulatA, vastrAlaMkAranI vRddhi, sudhAraka vicAranA eTale raheNIkaraNI mAre mATe kaMI navI lAge. gharamAM Teliphona hato. thoDA divasa pachI eka vAra phona Avyo. pAMDu kahe bhAbhI Teliphona lejo . tyAre bhUMgaLA phona hatA. kayuM kAne lAge kayuM moTuM lAge te khabara nahi. meM lIdho nahi, eTale pAMDue lIdho te barAbara joI lIdhuM. "moniTara" Ama abUjha hatA. gharanA ThAThamAThamAM goThavAtI gaI. "bhAI kaMIka sUcanA ApatA, lakSmIbA bharatagUMthaNa tathA gAvAmAM ghaNAM kuzaLa hatAM. ane teo emAM ja gUMthAyelAM rahetAM. mane paNa bharatagUMthaNa hAthamAM ApyuM. mAre mATe e paNa navuM ja hatuM. chatAM zIkhatI, roja traNacAra kalAka bharatakAmamAM samaya jAya. bhAIne A badhuM pasaMda nahi. zani-ravi zAradAbahena Ave, vaDI pApaDa jevAM kAma kADhe te zIkhuM. buddhizakti hatI eTale vAra na lAgatI. "moniTara" napAsa thayA : eka vAra rasoIyo dezamAM gayo. pAMDue dALa caDhAvI rAkhI hatI temAM masAlo ryo. mUMjhAtA muMjhAtA zAka karyuM. roTalI sarakhI AvaDe nahi. bApujIne tyAM bA, bahena, koI vAra rasoiyo hato tethI jamavA sivAya rasoDuM joyuM ja na hatuM. pitA-putra sau jamavA beThA. bhAI ramUjI hatA. dALa khAIne kahe Aje vevAIe goLano ravo mokalyo lAge che. savAre jematema patyuM. bhAIne ema ke sAMje khIcaDI-kaDhI-bhAkharI-zAka kare to saheluM paDe. te mArI maMgalayAtrA pa7 vibhAga-3

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samayamAM kUkara na hatAM. khIcaDInA pANInA mApanI khabara nahi. khIcaDI dhUNAI gaI. ane bhAkharInA moNa mATe divelanI baraNI kevI rIte hAthe caDhI gaI ! divelanuM moNa nAkhI bhAkharInI kaNaka bAMdhI. sIjavavA sagaDImAM nAkhI te vakhate bhAI cokamAM UbhA hatA, te samajI gayA ke zuM thayuM che. pAMDune mokalyo, vaLI e sAMje badhuM thALe paDayuM. monITara nApAsa thayA. bhAIe vAtsalyathI nibhAvyuM. teo to haMmezAM prasanna ja hoya. na phariyAda, na carcA. paraMtu mAruM mana mUMjhAI gayuM. poLamAM sau kahetA ke nemAbhAInI dIkarAnI vahu hoziyAra che. zerImAM saunI uparI thaIne rame che. ahIM to philama ja UtarI. pachI zina-ravi bahena AvyAM. vaLI temanI pAse thoDuM zIkhI lIdhuM. joke tyAra pachI rasoIkAma karavAnuM khAsa AvatuM nahi eTale e kuzaLatA to traNa dasakA pachI jyAre jarUra paDI tyAre ja thaI. chatAM pAMDu jUno mANasa kuzaLa hato. bahena AvatAM tyAre ghaNuM zIkhI letI. ekaMdare yauvanajIvananA sukhazAMtibharyA e divaso hatA. rojiMduM sukhada jIvana H have agatyanI vAta jaNAvavAnI che. A ghara mAre mATe sAMsArika rIte zArIrika, mAnasika sukha uparAMta khAvuM, pIvuM, paheravuM, pharavuM evAM sukhothI bharapUra hatuM. temAM vizeSa puNya to e mAnuM chuM ke mAre mATe sAttvika jIvana sAthe dhArmika jIvananI dizA khUlI. Aje vicAruM chuM to lAge che ke koI janmamAM pUjelA devagurunI kRpA ja hatI. mAno ke eka subhaga camatkAra hato. dharmanAM bI ghaNI abodhadazAmAM vavAtAM hatAM paNa ghaNA dasakA pachI enA aMkuronI suvAsa pragaTa thaI tyAre devagurukRpA pAse mastaka jhUkI jAya che ke 'prabhu' mArI to koI bhUmikA na hatI paNa Ape to tyAre ja bhAvi AyojananuM bI vAvI dIdhuM. ane mArI maMgalayAtrA AgaLa vadhatI gaI. lagnajIvana bhAvabharyA premathI zarU thayuM hatuM. e kALe kaMI patipatnIne bahu vAtacIto na hatI. kyAMka sinemA joyo hoya tenI carcA thAya. betraNa mitradaMpatI hatA temane maLavAnuM thAya. vaLI gharamAM daherAsara eTale savAre sevA-pUjA hoya. thoDuM bharatagUMthaNa thAya. sAMjanA bhAInI vibhAga-3 58 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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sUcanA hatI : ''eka-doDha kalAka pharavA javuM. gharamAM kaMI kAma nathI. jIvana beThADuM na karavuM.' rAtre thoDI vAra pAnAM ramatAM ane rAta-divasa AnaMdapramodamAM pasAra thatA gayA. patine khyAla Avyo ke bhaNatA bhaNatA AvI chuM eTale mane vAMcavAnuM maLe to game. eTale ramaNalAla vasaMtalAla, dhUmaketu, kanaiyAlAla munazI vagerenI navalakathAo lAvyA hatA. temane potAne pustako sAthe mitratA nahi. huM vAMcuM temAMthI kaMI saMbhaLAvuM. pachI thoDI vAra pAnAMbAjI cAle, sukhada samaya gALI nidrAdhIna thaIe. pitA-putranI Adarza joDI : saMsAramAM manuSyadeha ghaNA puNyathI maLe che. tema tenI sAthe zArIrika svAsthya ane sAttvika RNAnubaMdha paNa ghaNA puNya maLe che. Aje moTA bhAge kauTuMbika pArivArika saMbaMdho, saMgharSa ane vaicArika matabhedathI grasita thayelA hoya che. kyAMka saMvAditA jovA maLe che. A kuTuMbamAM pitA-putranI joDI dazaratha-rAmanA AMzika premanI yAda apAve tevI hatI. pitAe putrane khUba lADathI ucherelo chatAM putramAM lADanI koI svacchaMdatA nahi. pUrA vivekathI pitA sAthe ane anya sAthe premapUrNa AcAra rAkhatA. pitA-putra savAre dAtaNa-pANI bAMkaDe besI sAthe ja ka2tA. pachI pATalA-bAjoThI para besI savAranuM zirAmaNa sAthe karatAM. joke ame sau sAthe ja rahetA. pitA-putra pUjA sAthe karatA, oNphise sAthe jatA-AvatA. ghare sau sAthe jamatAM. bapore bhAI ArAma karatA. ame amArA oraDAmAM ArAma karatAM. vaLI punaH sAthe ja oNphise javAnuM. sAMje ame pharIne AvIe pachI 1/2 kalAka pitA-putra sAthe ja besatAM. teo dara saptAhe eka vAra klabamAM jatA tyAre rAtre dasa vAge AvatA, ke ame koI vAra sinemA jovA jatA tyAre rAtre dasa vAge AvatA, tyAre bhAI nIcenA haoNlamAM besI rahe. varaMDAmAM AMTA mAre. teo gharamAM AvI jAya pachI sUvA jatA. teonuM koI vAra svAsthya ThIka na hoya, tAva jevuM hoya to amArA oraDAnI bAjumAM haoNlamAM bhAI mArI maMgalayAtrA 59 vibhAga-3

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kyAMya sudhI besI rahe. teo bahAragAma jAya tyAre roje eka vAra pitA sAthe phonamAM vAta karI letA. A badhuM to prasaMgopAtta che paNa bhAIne mAnasika rIte atyaMta zAMti ApavA satata tatpara rahetA. pitA paNa evA ja udAra ane premALa hatA ke putranA sukha mATe sadAya teo dhyAna rAkhatA. e uparAMta mAruM paNa eTaluM ja dhyAna rAkhatA ke ame baMne sukha mANIe ane AnaMdamAM rahIe. koI vAra vaDIla tarIke mIThI zikhAmaNa paNa ApatA. yadyapi kuTuMbamAM sau nemAbhAI kahetA. kuTuMbamAMthI koI paNa maLavA Ave, bhAI khUba Adara ApatA, jamADatA. saunI sAthe AnaMda-goSThi karatA. Ama temanI jana-priyatA vyApaka hatI. samAjamAM paNa temanA gAMbhIrya ane kuzaLatAne kAraNe temanuM sthAna gauravabharyuM hatuM. jevI saMpattinI saMpannatA hatI tevI dilanI saMpannatA hatI. vaLI vaDIloe upAzraya jevAM sthAna karAvyAM hatAM. temAM paNa sAtha ApI dAna jevAM satkAryo karatA. sAdhujanonA AdarathI sevA karatA. dharmakSetramAM prathama pravezanuM kiraNa, eka puNyayoga : maMjubahena-moTAM naNaMdanI zIkha jIvananI navI dizA khUlavAno prAraMbha khAsa vizeSatAvALo na gaNIe to paNa mAre mATe agatyano hato ema Aje samajAya che. mArAM moTAM naNaMda...moTAM bahena maMjubahena, kSaya roganA dardI. darda vadhI jatAM, amAre baMgale rahevA AvyAM. e vakhate khAsa davAo zodhAI na hatI. eka phephasuM kAma karatuM na hatuM. DaoNkTara kahe "A dIkarI maravAnI ALase jANe jIvatI hoya evuM lAge che." bahenamAM dharmanA saMskAra hatA. emaNe te vakhatanA auSadha-pathya zarU karyA. paNa e badhA sadoSa hatA eTale bhAre duHkha anubhavatA. paraMtu pati ane pitAnA dabANathI davA karatA. have maravAnuM ja che ema samajI dharmabhAvanAne poSaNa ApatA. dharmabhAvanAvALA eTale pratikramaNa, sAmAyika, sevA-pUjA karatA. eka divasa mane kahe ""mArI sAthe sAmAyika kara." meM to koI divasa kaTAsaNuM pAthareluM nahi. pAThazALA joI na hatI. pUrvanA koI puNya ochA, bApujIne tyAM darzana karavA ane navakAra gaNIne sUvA-UThavA jevuM zikSaNa vibhAga-3 6 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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maLyuM hatuM. eTale sAmAyika kema karavuM te mUMjhavaNa hatI. bahene kahyuM tema beThI. pachI kahe 'sthApanAcArya sthApa'. mAre mATe A duniyA sAva navI. Aje vicAruM chuM ke meM e pahelA sthApanAcArya joyA haze ? zALAjIvananA moniTara bhAre mUMjhavaNamAM mukAyA ! bahene sAmAyika levarAvyuM. mananI dazAthI kahuM to mAMDa mAMDa pUruM thayuM. AkhI bAMdhI navakAravALI gaNavI, jANe mAthe maNano bojo. moTethI navakAra bolatAM jIbha ja na UpaDI, pasIno vaLI gayo. A paristhitino aMdAja pAmI bahena kahe, ''ApaNane jaina dharma mahApuNye maLyo che. ane navakAra jevAM sUtro na AvaDe ? dharma na karIe to mAnavabhava nakAmo jAya. vaLI A gha2mAM tArA mATe keTalI mokaLAza che ! dharma karavAno Avo avasa2-samaya to amane maLato nathI.'' temaNe to badhuM sAruM ja kahyuM paNa pelA moniTaranuM aham ghavAyuM. manane du:kha pahoMcyuM. prAraMbhamAM manamAM aNagamo pedA thayo, paraMtu zAMtithI sAMbhaLI rahI. joke e Thapako rucyo nahi. e Thapako na hato paNa vaya nAnI eTale joIe tevuM ghaDatara thayuM na hatuM ne ? tethI mana dubhAyuM. bApujIne tyAM to savAre taiyAra thaI zALAe javuM. AvIne lesana karavuM. sAMja paDe sakhIo sAthe kUkA, kacIyA ane kacUkA vaDe ramavuM. A sivAyanI bIjI duniyAnI khabara na hatI. jIvanamAM phariyAdano najIvo prasaMga : rAtre oraDAmAM teo AvyA, kadAca nAnI vayane kAraNe ke game tema mArA moM para jANe kevuMya duHkha paDyuM haze tevuM raDamasa mukha joI teoe pUchyuM. tyAM to nayana sajaLa banyAM. Aje to AmAM kevaLa akkalamaMdatA ja jaNAya che. e kaMI vizeSa yAdagAra prasaMga paNa na hato. paNa samaya samayane mAna che ne ? teo samajadAra, khUba lAgaNIpradhAna. emanuM vyaktitva premathI sabhara, putra tarIke pitAno, lakSmIbA (bhAbhIno) Adara rAkhe. teone paNa putra pratye ghaNo prema. bahenone bhAI vahAlo. nokarone nAnA zeTha vhAlA. bhANAone mAmA vahAlA. saune mATe premamUrti. ame paNa anyonya premanA dhAge baMdhAyA hatA. mArI maMgalayAtrA 61 vibhAga-3

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meM badhI hakIkata jaNAvI. teo hasIne kahe, "kevuM sAruM thayuM? teM prathama vAra sAmAyika karyuM. vaLI A gharamAM kaMI kAma nathI. bharatagUMthaNa e jIvanamAM agatyanuM nathI. thoDo samaya pasAra thAya te mATe ThIka che. paNa jo dharmanI kriyA ane sUtro zIkhe to ghaNo lAbha thAya. tane kharekhara AnaMda Avaze. vaLI bahena lAMbo samaya rahevAnA che eTale zIkhavAnuM paNa sahaja goThavAze." e vAtane premapUrvaka evI palTI ke mAruM mana tarata ja svastha thayuM. huM paNa haLavI thaI gaI ane AnaMdamAM AvI gaI. thoDI vAra pAnAM ramI, sukhada rAtri mAnI, nidrAdhIna thayAM. bIje divase samaya thayo. bahene sAmAyika levAnI taiyArI karI. meM khuzI batAvI sAthe sAmAyika karyuM. ane kahone navakArathI ja zarUAta karI. pachI to sUtra zIkhavAmAM AnaMda Avyo. teo khUba khuza thayAM. dAdI dvArA gaLathuthI samaye maLelo navakAra jANe udayamAM Avyo, vistAra pAmyo jenI sAthe bhAvi jIvananA vikAsanuM chU5 rahasya rahyuM haze. jJAnIo kahe che tame zubha tarapha jAva. pUrve ArAdhelA dharmanuM puNya je DhaMkAyeluM hoya te pragaTa thAya che. tamArI bhAvanAnI rAha jue che. mArA mATe AvuM ja hatuM. badhA uttama saMyoga goThavAtA hatA. dhArmika zikSaNaprAptinA aMkoDA joDAtA gayA, maMgalayAtrAnI gati thaI? bahenane vadhu upacAra mATe jAmanagara javAnuM thayuM. tyAre yogAnuyoga mArA mAmAjI ke jemanI patnIe dIkSA levAthI, temanI nAnI dIkarIne laIne amAre tyAM rahevA AvyA teone paMDitanI jema sUtro AvaDatAM ane zAstrAbhyAsa paNa kharo. dhArmika zikSaNa paMca-pratikramaNanAM sUtrothI thatuM. AthI mAmAjI pAse sUtronA pAThano prAraMbha karyo. zALAno abhyAsa chUTyA pachI taratano ja A samaya eTale badhuM saraLatAthI mukhapATha thatuM. traNeka varSamAM paMcapratikramaNanAM sUtro, lagabhaga navasmaraNa kaMThastha karyA. vaLI mAmAjI abhyAsI hatA eTale artha samajAvatA. AthI nAnI vaye prAraMbhathI je kaMI zIkhavA maLyuM te paddhatisaranuM hatuM. tene kAraNe Aje paNa te sUtronA upayogamAM bhAva TakI rahe che. te samayanI praNAlI vizeSa bodhAtmaka na hatI. paraMtu vibhAga-3 62 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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sUtrono mahimA hato. Aje samajAya che ke e sUtro baLapreraka kema banatAM hoya che? tenI pAchaLa satpuruSonuM yogabaLa kArya karatuM hoya che. jIvanI zraddhA, satpAtratA ane gaNadhara jevA puruSonuM yogabaLa jIvane AtmakalyANarUpa thAya che. prathama pU. AcArya bhagavaMtono samAgama : baMgalAmAM anya vyavasthA sArI, ane daherAsara eTale vihAra karatA sAdhubhagavaMtono lAbha maLato. eka divasa-rAta rokAI jatA eTale sAdhu saMparka ane upadezano paNa lAbha maLato. saMta-samAgamathI bhAvanAo jAgI ane prathama vAra comAsAnAM vyAkhyAno sAMbhaLyAM. savizeSa kathAnuyoga paNa khUba lAbhadAyI banyo. novelonuM sthAna gauNa banyuM ane dharmakathAonuM sthAna mahattvanuM banyuM. vaLI paryuSaNamAM prathama vAra ja cha4, aThThama karyA. vaDIle teno utsava paNa Ujavyo. vAstavamAM A puNyayoga hato, te Aje samajAya che. tAtvika dharmanI samaja na hatI. tyAre evA upadezanI prathA paNa gauNa hatI. gujarAtI bhASAmAM tevuM sAhitya upalabdha na hatuM. e tAtvika bodha mATe bhUmikA joIe te kheDAtI hatI evuM Aje lAge che. hA, bhale tene cAra, pAMca, cha dasakA lAgyA. paraMtu bIja vAvAI cUkyuM hatuM. kevaLa kriyAtmaka dharma chatAM mAro anubhava e thayo ke te kriyAe mArA mATe bhAvi AdhyAtmika vikAsanAM dvAra kholI ApyAM. kazuM nirarthaka na gayuM. Aje paNa koI kiyAno niSedha kare tyAre mAro A anubhava huM kahuM chuM. "teone' kaMI sUtra ke zAstrAbhyAsa na hato paNa prabhubhaktino saMskAra hato. saraLatA to temane AtmasAta hatI. kahetA ke ""vAMcavuM, gokhavuM, emAM mAruM gaju nahi ane bhejuM nahi. paNa tuM kare to bahu AnaMda Ave. vaLI ApaNe bheda kevA? mAruM e tAruM ane tAruM e mAruM "huM kahetI" mahArAjajI kahetA ke je kare tene ja phaLe". tarata ja javAba ApatA, "paNa huM karavAmAM sAtha ApuM eTale mane anumodanano bhAga maLe." Ama amane te vakhatanI bhUmikA pramANe vrata, tapa ane dharmakriyAmAM AnaMda Avato. sAMsArika sukha paNa AnaMdathI bhogavatA. tyAre kaMI tyAga-virAgano eka kaNiyo paNa sparyo na hato. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-3 63

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dharmakriyAno rasa, paNa temAM sAMsArika sukhano bhAga hato. A badhA subhaga yogano vicAra karuM chuM tyAre devagurukRpAnA mahAbhya AgaLa mastaka jhUkI jAya che. bahenano sUtranI aNaAvaDatano Thapako paNa puNyamAM pheravAI gayo. zIkhavAnI jijJAsAne yogya zAstrAbhyAsI mAmAjI maLI gayA ane abhyAsano avasara maLyo. satudeva, satvaguru ane dayArUpa dharmathI pAyAnI imArata H bhaNavAno mahAvaro tAjo hato. mana-magaja tAjAM-sAjAM hatAM. mAmAjI paNa vAtsalya ane utsAhathI zIkhavatA. jaina dharmanuM zikSaNa sUtra-paMca pratikramaNathI prAraMbha thAya che. sadevagurunI bhaktirUpa zraddhA, AcAramAM dayAnI mukhyatA hoya che. Ama, prAraMbhathI ja dharmane yogya paddhatithI bhUmikA thaI. te samayane yogya temano bhakti-kriyAno saMskAra ane mAro jJAnaArAdhanAnA saMskArano meLa hato. vAstavamAM anyonya pUraka thatAM. daherAsaramAM temanI sAthe pUjA-stavanA karatI, ane huM kaMI zAstronuM adhyayana karuM ke sUtro zIkhuM temAM temanuM anumodana maLatuM. dharmakAryamAM sumeLane kAraNe je kaMI ArAdhanA thatI te saullAsa thatI. bhAI A badhuM jANI prasanna thatA. mAruM bhaktimAM joDAvuM te saraLa hatuM, paraMtu temanuM zAstrAdimAM joDAvuM rUci chatAM jAmatuM nahi. huM kahetI, "tame svayaM saraLa cho eTale tamArI bhaktimAM badhuM AvI jAya. huM tamArA jevI saraLa nathI tethI mAre baMne vastu joIe." tyAre kaMI jJAnakriyAbhyAM mukti ke yoga jevA zabdo AvaDatA na hatA, jANatI na hatI. pU. zrI sAgarAnaMdajI, pU. zrI nemisUrIzvarajI ane te kALanA tripuTI mahArAjajI padhArelA tevo khyAla che. pU. nyAyavijayajI, pU. jJAnavijayajI ane pU. darzanavijayajIno samAgama thayo. Ano ullekha karavAnuM mULa kAraNa e ke A prakAranA sAdhubhagavaMtanA upadezanI nAnI vaya chatAM asara ghaNI moTI thaI. mAro khyAla che ke tripuTI mahArAjanA utArA vakhate ame banne temanI pAse beThA hatA. temaNe bodha Apelo tenA anusaMdhAnamAM mAro prazna hato ke : Ape kahyuM ke puNya karyuM hoya to A lokanAM sukha maLe, dharmanI vibhAga-3 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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prApti thAya. paNa meM to kaMI puNya A janmamAM karyuM nathI. navakAra paNa pUrA AvaDatA na hatA. vrata kaMI karyuM nathI. bhaNatAM, ramatAM, A gharamAM AvI. (sAMsArika zabda bolatA AvaDato na hato) A cAre bAju sukha ja sukha kayAMthI AvyuM ?" mane pUrvajanma zabdanI paNa khabara na hatI. eTale vadhAre pUchatA paNa na AvaDyuM. mahArAjajI samajI gayA. temaNe kahyuM ke, "tArI vAta sAcI. A janmamAM te kaMI karyuM nathI. paNa sukha che ne?" "hA" tenuM kAraNa pUrvajanmanuM puNya udayamAM AvyuM che, mane bahu samajAyuM nahi paNa temanuM kahevuM mAnI lIdhuM : chatAM mArI AMkhamAM prazna hato ke have zuM ? mahArAjajIe bodha vacana kahyA: "A sukha to sAMsArika che. te puNyathI maLyuM che. paNa puNya vaparAI jAya che mATe dharma karIne navuM puNya upArjana karavuM. jethI jyAM sudhI bhava thAya tyAM sudhI sukha maLe, pachI dharmathI mokSa maLe." te samaye mokSanI raja mAtra samaja na hatI. meM pUchyuM to mAre zuM karavuM ?" "jo kevo yoga che ! gharamAM bhagavAna, dharma karavAno nirAMtano samaya, patinI dharmabhAvanAno yoga, koI vAra maLato sAdhusaMtono upadeza, have puruSArthamAM lAgI jA. darzana, pUjana, navakAra maMtra, sAmAyika vigere karu" hA, vaLI te divasomAM gharamAM saunA jIvana sAttvika hatAM. gharamAM rAtribhojana-tyAga hatuM. (kyAreka ame chUTa laI letAM) kaMdamULa, mAkhaNa, madha jevA padArtho to jovA ja maLatA nahi. anya vyasana paNa gharamAM pravezeluM nahi. parvo, tithiomAM ArAdhanA thatI. Ama mahArAjajInI vAta rUcI gaI. mane sAdhujanono samAgama ane bodhano prathama avasara hato, paNa rucI gayo. temAM vizeSa to teono sAtha hato te kAraNa hatuM. teo je kahe te gamI jatuM. temAM sAMsArika rAganI-mohanI vizeSatA hatI. tenA pratyenA rAgathI paNa mane dharmakriyAo rucatI hatI, kAraNa ke teone e badhuM gamatuM hatuM. ane sAthe karatA hatA. bhUpendra (atula)no janma : Ama yuvAnInI dIvAnImAM eka varSa uparAMta samaya pUro thayo. mane putraprAptino avasara Avyo. sau khuza hatAM. mArI vaya to nAnI mArI maMgalayAtrA 5 vibhAga-3

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hatI. paNa te kALe ema manAtuM nahi. lagna pachI be varSe putraprApti thaI. bhAI jANe A avasaranI rAha jotA hatA. samAcAra maLyA ane eka kalAkamAM sagAM-svajanone peMDA vaheMcAI gayA. te samaye dIkarI prasUti mATe piyara mAtApitAne tyAM jatI. pitRgRhe sadbhAgye svAsthya sArI rIte jaLavAyuM. bALakano paNa puNyayoga jabaro hato. be mahine ghare AvuM te pahelAM to bALakane mATenAM bAbAgADIthI mAMDIne pAMca varSano thAya tyAM sudhInAM palaMga Adi badhAM sAdhano taiyA2 hatAM. cAMdInAM ramakaDAM ane ghUgharA sAthe, badhAnA hAthamAM ja pharyA kare. saMpanna rIte uchera thayo. tenuM nAma bhUpendra rAkhyuM paNa pachI te 'atula' nAme oLakhAto. te divase gharamAM nAno utsava thayo. bhAImAM, kudaratI rIte kuTuMbamAM bALako ane vyakti mATe sneha. rAga hato. teo pratye temane ghaNo rAga... temAM paNa teonA janma pachI trevIsa varSe pautra janme eTale bhAIne AnaMda AnaMda. te kALe vaDIlomAM AvuM manAtuM 'mUDInuM vyAja vahAluM'. atula mATe gharamAM cAre bAju puNyayoga hato. tenI khUba saMbhALa levAtI. ramakaDAM vigerenI to vipulatA hatI. teo to tenI badhI ja icchA pUrI karatA. tyAre mAre koI vAra nAno jhaghaDo thato ke lADathI bALaka bagaDI jAya. teo javAba ApatA, ''bALaka lADa na kare, tophAna na kare to ApaNe ka2vAnAM chIe ? moTAM thAya eTale badhuM samajatAM thAya. Ama atulane lADa laDAvavAmAM AkhuM ghara eka bAju ane huM eka bAju thatI eTale mAruM kAMI cAlatuM nahi. traNa varSe bAlamaMdiramAM mUkavAnuM kahyuM to bhAI kahe, ''hajI utAvaLa zI che ? ramavAno samaya che. 2mavA do ne.'' joke te samaye pAMca varSe zikSaNa pharajiyAta hatuM. ,, e samaye nAnI uMmaramAM lagna thatAM eTale bALako nAnI uMmaramAM thAya. huM dhAruM chuM ke mA-bApa ja hajI bALaka jevA hoya temane bALakane ucheravAnI zuM kuzaLatA hoya ! chatAM gharamAM vaDIlo A javAbadArI vadhu rAkhatA ane saMyukta kuTuMbamAM bALakone saheje zikSaNa maLI rahetuM. joke amAre to gharamAM eka ja bALaka. bahena temanAM bALako sAthe rajAmAM Ave tyAre atulane bahu ja gamatuM. eTale badhAMnI sAthe jamavA karavAnuM vibhAga-3 mArI maMgalayAtrA hRda

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saraLa rIte thatuM ane samUhajIvananuM zikSaNa paNa maLatuM. te divasomAM atulanI snAnAdinI sarva javAbadArI phaIbAnI thaI jatI. lakSmIbAno (bhAbhI kahetAM) sAdhu mahAtmA sAtheno paricaya ane phITanA dardInI vidAyaH gharamAM daherAsaranA nimitte sAdhu saMtonuM Agamana thatuM rahetuM. eka vAra paMjAba bAjuthI zrI vallabhavijaya sAdhu mahArAja padhAryA. temanuM cAturmAsa bAjunI sosAyaTImAM thayuM. teonuM vyaktitva prabhAvazALI hatuM. zAMta prakRtinA hatA. vastRtva paNa vizALa ane rasaprada hatuM. avAja bulaMda hato. temanA vyAkhyAnathI sau prabhAvita thatAM. ghare padhArelA eTale bhAbhIe temanI vaiyAvacca karelI tethI paricaya thayelo. bhAbhI temanAthI khUba prabhAvita thayAM. temanA bodhathI dharmamArge vaLyA. pratikramaNa jevAM anuSThAno karatAM thayAM. temane jIvanamAM e eka sukhada samaya lAgato. vaLI A mahAtmA maMtranA jANakAra hatA. bhAbhIne phITa-hisTIrIyAnuM darda hatuM. temane sapatnInuM naDatara che tema manAtuM. bhAIe kALajIpUrvaka ghaNA upacAra karyA hatA. paNa darda zamyuM na hatuM. - jyAre phITa Ave tyAre pachaDAtA, UchaLatA, bhAI ane ghATI jorathI pakaDI rAkhatA. mahArAje A darda dUra karavAno maMtra Apyo. tenI vidhi batAvI. kALA rAtA kapaDAM paherI rAtre jApa japatA. bAraNe lIMbu bAMdhatA. AvuM badhuM kaMI karatA, A joI mane to ghaNo gabharATa thato. Akhare maMtra vaDe temanI phITa dUra thaI, mULamAMthI darda gayuM. te hakIkata najare joI. A kAraNe bhAbhI mahAtmA pratye khUba AkarSAyA. saMbaMdha nirdoSa hato. jo ke bhAbhIne Ame gharamAM rasa na hato. have temane bhAI pratye paNa kaMI rasa na rahyo. mahAtmA pAchaLa pharavuM, dhana kharacavuM, dhananI satata mAMgaNI. A emanA jIvanamAM kyAreya na maLyuM hoya tevuM sukhadAyI hatuM. paNa puruSamAM e calAvI le tevI udAratA na hoya ! eTale pariNAme bhAI-bhAbhI vacce saMgharSa vadhI paDyo. koI vAra temAM ame paNa lapeTamAM AvI jatAM. vaLI e mahAtmAe maMtra mATe zuddhinuM vidhAna ApeluM, ke temaNe snAna karyA pahelAM pUrNa zuddhi sAcavavI. snAna pachI amuka kalAka maMtramArI maMgalayAtrA 67 vibhAga-3

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jApa sudhI koIno sparza na karavo. temanA oraDAmAM, temanA sthAnamAM koIe praveza na karavo. AvuM badhuM ghaNuM hatuM. temAM kAMI garabaDa thatI to bhAbhI bhAre ugra svarUpa dhAraNa karatA ane khUba apazabda bolatA. tyAre asaMtoSa, IrSA badhuM ja ThalavAI jatuM. temAM bhAI to lapeTamAM Ave. moTI vaye laI AvyA hatA te kAraNa mukhya banI jatuM. ane huM to akAraNa athavA to pUrvanA koI leNadeNanI UNapathI lapeTamAM AvI jatI. mane paNa kaMIka saMbhaLAvI letA. saMsAramAM kauTuMbika jIvanamAM AvuM banavuM te kaMI navuM nathI. ekaMdare jyAre vAstavikatAthI vicAratI thaI tyAre mane temanI ghaNI anukaMpA thatI, e samaye mane dharmabodhanuM sAcuM mUlya jaNAtuM. paNa te samaye kaMI mArI dharmabodhanI UMDI samaja na hatI. Aje mAnuM chuM ke meM tyAre saMgharSa karI keTalAMya karma ajJAnavaza, ahaMkAravaza bAMdhyAM haze. akAraNa baMnenI aNasamajanuM duHkhada pariNAma ane samAdhAna : te divase kAraNa sAva ja zudra hatuM. bhAbhIne hisTIrIyAnuM darda hatuM. temane maMtravALA sAdhu maLI gayA. temaNe vidhi ApelI. temAM zuddhi pALavAnI hatI. ApaNe agAu joyuM hatuM ke temAM snAna pachI koIne aDavAnuM nahi. maMtra bhaNe te sthAnamAM koIe javAnuM nahi. te mATe snAna karatAM pahelAM snAnAgAra dhoI nAkhavAnuM pachI emAM koIe javAnuM ke paga paNa mUkavAnuM nahi. mane A vAtanI khabara hatI. eka divasanI vAta che. mane thayuM, AvuM tUta zA kAmanuM ? eTale huM to snAnAgAramAM jaI AvI. bhAbhI joI gayAM ane aMdaramAM raheluM temanuM raudra svarUpa ugrapaNe pragaTa thayuM. eka kalAka sudhI zabdono mAro cAlu rahyo. mane pastAvo thayo. paNa te kAMI samajayA nahi. jyAre temaNe bhAIne khUba apazabdo saMbhaLAvyA tyAre bhAI khUba akaLAyA. bhAbhI to zAMta paDe tema hatA nahi. bhAIe mane Thapako Apyo: ""tArAmAM kaMI viveka che ke nahi? zA mATe snAnAgAramAM gaI ?" meM kahyuM : "teo dukAnethI Ave tyAre temane kahejo . mane zA mATe kaho cho ?" A bolI javuM jo ke barAbara na hatuM. mAro doSa hato. mAre zAMta rahevuM joItuM hatuM. bhAI mArA javAbathI khUba ja duHkhI thayA. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-3 68

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temane mATe AvuM mAruM vartana prathama vAra ja hatuM. pachI mArA manane khUba duHkha thayuM. mAre tyAre mitra na hatAM. eTale AvuM du:kha ThAlavavAnuM eka ja sthAna, kSetra tarIke oraDo ane vyakti tarIke pati, mAre mAthe Abha tUTyuM hoya tevuM du:kha vyakta thaI jatuM. teo dukAnethI AvyA. pitA-putra premanA taMtuthI baMdhAyelA hatA. baMne ekabIjAnI nADa pArakhI letA. teoe AvIne pitA sAmuM joyuM. temanA mukha para akaLAmaNa hatI. bhAIe jAte ja hakIkata jaNAvI : ''TUMkamAM Aje sunaMdAe mane Avo javAba Apyo''. teonA jIvanamAM eka moTo puNya yoga hato ke temanA hRdayamAM mAruM, pitAnuM, bahenonuM, nokaronuM saunuM sthAna snehabharyuM hatuM. chatAM pitAno Adara vizeSa hato. sau jamavA khAtara jamyA. pachI ame oraDAmAM bhegA thayA. nAnI vAta hatI paNa e divase saunA dilane khUba dhakko pahoMcyo. temaNe mane haLavethI premasabhara kahyuM : ''tAre bhAIne sAmo javAba Apavo joIto na hato. mane khUba du:kha thayuM che. ApaNe nAnA chIe. kaMI sAMbhaLI levAmAM zuM vAMdho paDe ? ane nAjuka tabiyatavALA bhAInA manane dhakko pahoMce to temanA AyuSyanAM dasa varSa ochAM thAya. kevaLa jo ApaNe thoDuM sahana karIne bhAInA manane zAMti ApIe to temanA RNano badalo vALI zakIe. bhAI ApaNA sukhamAM keTalA rAjI che ? ApaNe AnaMdamAM rahIe tevI kALajI rAkhe che. tArI kuzaLatAnI prazaMsA kare che. tAre chevaTe mArA prema khAtara paNa bhAIne duHkha lAge tevuM kaMI ja na karavuM ATaluM vacana Apa. mArA taraphathI kaMI duHkha tane nahi thAya te mAruM kartavya. joke mAruM mana ghaNuM asvastha hatuM te tyAre to zAMta thayuM. chatAM mane thayuM koIne mArA pratye kaMI prema ja nathI. jIvonA jIvanamAM AvA saMgharSo thavA e aNasamaja che paraMtu ahaMkAra jIvane mUMjhave che ne ? vAMcanArane lAgaze vAta to kaMI mahattvanI na hatI. nakAmA mAnasvamAnanI gerasamaja hatI. mArA mananuM samAdhAna thatuM na hatuM. moTA kema na samaje ? temAM vaDIla to be ja hatA. badhuM mAre ja sahana karavAnuM ? mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-3 69

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AnI asara ekAda-be divasa rahI. keme karI sahaja hasatA-ramatA rahevuM tarata ja banyuM nahi. chevaTe teonI samatAnI jIta thaI. gADI pATA para caDhI. vaLI nirdoSa bALakanI hAjarI paNa sahAyarUpa thaI ane bhAIe paNa dhAreluM to kharuM ja ke amane duHkha thaze. eTale jAte ja vAtsalyathI vAtane vALI lIdhI. ane vaLI saunAM mana mukta banyAM. vAstavikatA vicArIe to AjanA saMgharSo paNa AvI ajJAna dazAnA ja che ne ! tyAra pachI AnuM punarAvartana na thayuM te puNyayoga. punaH meM kyAre paNa bhAIno Adara choDyo nathI. - mahAtmAnA bodhathI bhAbhI kaMIka tyAgamArge vaLyAM. paNa jJAnarahita e ceSTAo lAbhadAyaka na hatI. kAraNa ke jJAna ane vairAgya vagara jIva satumArge jaI zakato nathI. te kALe upadezanI paddhati tattvarUpa na hatI. bhAbhI paNa khUba AvezamAM rahetAM kAraNa ke bhAI temanA para dhanAdimAM pratibaMdha mUkatA. eTale eka divasa AvezamAM temaNe bhAI chatAM aMga parathI alaMkAra vigere badhuM ja tyAgI dIdhuM. kevaLa sapheda vastra paheryA. kadAca hAthe be rabaranI baMgaDI haze. A chellA saMgharSe A gharamAM je sukha-zAMti hatAM tene tAtkAlika kaMIka AMcako Apyo. prAraMbhamAM gharanAM sau eka jAtanI glAninA bhoga banI gayAM. lakSmIbA to daDha hatAM ane masta rahetAM. dhIme dhIme e paNa thALe paDI gayuM. ame sau punaH zAMtithI rahevA lAgyAM, TevAI gayAM. vaLI badhuM yathAvat cAlatuM. Ama to gharamAM badhuM hatuM tema ja hatuM. e ja gADI, vADI, nokara varga, dhana parivAra darekamAM vadhAro thayo hato. gharamAM saMpannatA vRddhi pAmatI hatI. bhAI paNa zokhIna ane mojI hatA. e kALe sAmAnya rIte strI bIjavara sAthe sukhethI rahe ane goThavAI jAya. lakSmIbA pAchaLathI e sukha mANI na zakyA. chatAM pote ja pAchAM hasatAM-ramatAM thaI jAya e rIte bhoLAM hatAM. chatAM TharelI Aga kyAre bhabhUkI UThatI. saMpanna kuTuMbane kAraNe sAdhanonI vipulatA hatI. sAthe alaMkAronI paNa ThIka saMpatti hatI. vaLI vaya paNa e sAmagrIne mANavAnI hatI. chatAM koI vAra ema thatuM A badhuM ghaNuM che. vaLI gharamAM daherAsara eTale vibhAga-3 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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divALImAM bhagavAnane hIrAnA mugaTavALI AMgI thatI. tyAre vicAra Avato ke hIrAnA alaMkAro bhagavAnane caDhAvIe to kevuM ! paNa prabhunA aMga upara caDhAvAya nahi, ane caDhAvIe to pAchA paherAya nahi. AthI divALImAM amAsane divase AMgI thayA pachI, (jo ke bhagavAnane hIrAnA mugaTa vi. to hatA) mArA alaMkAro arIThAthI dhoI, zuddha karI, bhagavAnanI AgaLa goThavI detI ane mane kaMIka saMtoSa thato. bIje divase paheratI kharI. paraMtu teonA avasAna pachI eja divasathI pUrA alaMkAra zarIra parathI tyajI dIdhA. pachI punaH kayAre tene mATe vikalpa Avyo ja nahi. dhIme dhIme to ramonAnA AvyA pachI pUrA alaMkAra tene soMpI dIdhA. pachI eka vAla paNa sonuM pAse rAkhyuM nahi. koI vAra lAgatuM ke bhagavAnane caraNe te divase dharI dIdhAno ja kadAca A saMketa haze ke phalazruti haze. tethI lAkhonA alaMkArono tyAga saheje thaI gayo. uttama bhAvanAone yoga kevA sArA maLe. A sosAyaTImAM bhAI (mAmA) ane temanA bhANejano ema be ja baMgalA hatA. e bhANeja daMpatI te kAMtAbahena ane lAlabhAI. stavano, sajajhAyo bahu suMdara AvaDe. be ja kuTuMba eTale ekabIjAne tyAM javAnuM banatuM. teo pAse lagabhaga 194pa46 mAM AnaMdaghana covIsI vigerenAM stavano zIkhavAno avasara maLyo. teo zAstrAbhyAsI paNa hatAM. eTale e bodha paNa sAMbhaLavA maLato. teo Adarza daMpatI hatAM vaLI temanI guNiyala dIkarI jayAbahena mArAthI lagabhaga be varSa nAnI hatI. paNa tejasvI ane khUba maLatAvaDI hatI. enI pAse vAto karavAnI vizALatA paNa ghaNI. sAMje sAthe pharavA Ave. teo bahAragAma jAya tyAre rAtre sUvA Ave ane ghaNo sahayoga Ape. Ama jIvananuM vaheNa vahe jatuM hatuM. 1941-42 lagabhaga gAMdhIjInI satyAgraha Adi caLavaLo ane anekavidha kAryakramo cAlatA temAM kaMI karavAno utsAha thayo. paNa bhAI kahe, "ApaNuM emAM javAnuM kAma nahi ! A dharma vadhAre sAro che. eTale mana vALI lIdhuM. sAdhu mahArAjazrInA upadezAnusAra paMdara pakhkhA eTale roja eka sAmAyika karI ekasAthe paMdara pUrA karI lIdhA hatA. have baso mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-3 71

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belA, roja (be sAmAyika) karavAno niyama lIdho te khAsso eka varSa cAlyo. temAM abhyAsa paNa thato. pachI traNaso tellAtraNa sAmAyika sAthe karavAnA divasano AMtaro cAle. paNa A niyama bALakonA kAraNe tyAre pUro na thayo. te cha dasakA pachI IDara tIrthe nivRttinA divasomAM pUro thayo. te saMtonA yogabaLanI preraNA ja mAnuM chuM. A gharamAM nokarInI khUba ja sagavaDa hatI. paraMtu vyavasthA saMbhALavI jarUrI hatI. te bahenanI sahAyathI ane jUnA nokaronI sAthe rahIne gRhakArya lagabhaga jANI lIdhuM. pachI to A mAruM ghara che tevI mAyA baMdhANI eTale pUrA gharanI vyavasthA saMbhALavI te gamatuM. kuTuMbamAM Ama to cAra-pAMca ja hatAM. paNa mahemAno ane sagAMonI avarajavarane kAraNe gharano vahIvaTa moTo hato. vaLI dhananI chUTa ane svataMtratA hovAthI e sarve kArabhAra karavAmAM gamatuM hatuM. koInI rokaToka na hatI, AthI badhuM saraLatAthI nabhatuM hatuM. niyamita rIte darzana, pUjA, dharmakriyA thatI hatI. vaLI dara ravivAre rAjapara jevA daherAsare darzana karavA javuM. besatA mahine naroDA javuM. thALa caDhAvavo, kuLadevI padmAvatImAne bhAvapUrvaka sukhanI abhilASAo sAthe cUMdaDI caDhAvavI, A krama paNa bhakti-AnaMdathI thato. koI vAra vaDIla hatA tyAre kuTuMba sAthe Akho divasa tyAM rahI thALa dharatA, pUjA bhaNAvatA, e dhArmika prasaMga manAto. aMgata jIvanacaryA : bhAInI tabiyata nAjuka temAM hAIprezara ane DAyAbITIsanI takalIpha thayelI. tethI unALAmAM be mAsa dariyAkinAre baMgalo rAkhI nokara, rasoiyA sAthe tyAM javAnuM thatuM. e divasomAM unALu rajA hoya eTale kuTuMbameLo bhego thAya. khAvuM-pIvuM, dariyAkinAre ramavuM, pharavuM, jo najIkamAM daherAsara hoya to javalle ja devadarzana maLatAM. eTale phakta sAmAyika jevuM kyAreka thAya. thoDuM vAMcana thAya. sau haLImaLIne kauTuMbika AnaMda letA. kyAreka pattAbAjImAM samaya pasAra thato. ziyALAmAM paMdara divasa jAtrAe-savizeSa pAlItANA-javAnuM thatuM. pAlItANA rasoDuM kholatAM. sAta-ATha divasa yAtrAno ane sAdhu-bhaktino vibhAga-3 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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khUba lAbha letA. kadamagirI tathA AgamamaMdiramAM pratimAjInI pratiSThA jevo lAbha paNa letA. sAthe bahena bhANejIyA paNa kharA. Ama jIvanamAM kaMI tAlamela jaLavAto. samUhano ane utsavano AnaMda maLato temAM saMskArasiMcana thatuM. teone dhaMdhArthe kyAreka bahAragAma javAnuM thatuM. tyAre mUMjhavaNa thatI. mArA zALAnA mitrono abhyAsa cAlu hato tethI temano mane saMparka na rahyo. navA mitro thayA nahi, bahena sAsare hoya. ghara ke bahAramAM khAsa pravRtti nahi. AjubAju lAlabhAInA ghara sivAya koI vastI nahi, zaheramAM vastImAM rahelI, poLamAM paNa bahenapaNIo sAsare hoya, eTale tyAM javAnuM mana thatuM nahi, baMgalAmAM ekalavAyu lAgatuM. mArA mananuM baMdhAraNa lagna pachI teonA AdhArita banI gayeluM. agara to mitrone tyAM javAAvavAmAM samaya pasAra thAya. AthI baMgale sAMja paDe sAva sUnakAra lAge. nokaro kAma paravArIne gayA hoya. joke novelo to hatI ja. vaLI jayAbahena rAtre AvatAM, mane sAruM lAgatuM. pachI to vaLI atula hato. - mane lAge che koI jIvanI (mArI) prakRti vadhu mohajanita hoya che. tyAre huM jotI ghaNAM bahenonA pati bahAragAma jatA tyAre teo piyara ke mitrone tyAM majA mANI AvatAM. meM ja mane mohapAzathI bAMdhI dIdhI hatI. kyAMya jatI nahi eTale duHkhI thatI. khera, mULamAM jIvamAM samaja hovI joIe. saMyoga-viyoga e to saMsArano krama che. alpAdhika samayanuM zuM mahattva che ? anAdikALathI Aja sudhI keTalAya jIvo sAthe saMbaMdha bAMdhyA ane choDyA. hajI A ja janmamAM to zuM banavAnuM che te have joIzuM. teonA hRdayanI komaLatAnuM mApa tyAre mane samajAyuM. eka vAra teo dhaMdhA prasaMge kalakattA paMdara divasa mATe javAnA hatA. mAre mATe e gALo ekalA rahevA mATe lAMbo hato, paraMtu chUTako ja nahato. teo mArI manodazA barAbara samajatA hatA tethI zaradabAbunI navalakathAnAM pustako laI AvyA. vaLI jayAbahenane kahI rAkhyuM ke te roje sUvA Ave. temanA kalakattA javAnA divase mAruM mana savArathI udvegavALuM hatuM. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-3

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paraMtu mArI pharaja hatI ke mAre svastha citte vidAya ApavI. atula temanAthI khUba TevAyelo, tethI teo jyAre oNphise javA nIkaLe tyAre tene bahAra ramavA mokalI devo paDe. nahi to pAchaLa paDe, raDe. A lagabhaga rojano niyama hato. A divase mane ema ke paMdara divasa mATe javAnA che to bhale gharamAM rahyo. paNa teo jyA bahAra nIkaLyA ke jhabhbho pakaDIne vaLagI paDyo. te lagabhaga pAMca varSano hato. mane laI jAva, huM to tamArI sAthe AvIza. teoe samajAvyo, cokaleTa jevuM kaMI ApyuM. pachI kahe kalakattAthI ramakaDAM lAvaze, paNa te to vadhu raDavA lAgyo... mAre sAthe AvavuM che. meM samajAvyo. samaya thavA Avyo hato, eraporTa pahoMcavAnuM hatuM. teo moTara pAse gayA, atula moTaramAM caDhavA gayo temaNe tene rokyo. bAraNuM baMdha karyuM. DrAIvare gADI calAvI. teo vidAya thayA. atula thoDI vAra pachI raDIne ramatamAM lAgI gayo. meM navalakathA vAMcIne mana svastha karavA prayatna karyo. tyAM to eraporTa parathI teono phona Avyo. atula kema che, ramato thaI gayo ? tuM kema che ? meM kahyuM : ""phikara nA karatA. badhuM barAbara che. thoDA divasa vahelA AvavA prayatna karajo teonuM hRdaya AvuM komaLa hatuM. koI vAra vAta nIkaLatAM huM kahetI: ""tamArAmAM Dhagalo sneha ane Dhagalo samatA kevI rIte samAya che ! mArAmAM sneha che paNa jyAre mane kaMI apriya hoya tevuM bane tyAre gusse thAuM chuM eTale tamArA jevA udAtta sneha ane samatA mArAmAM nathI." tyAre teo hAsyathI javAba ApatA, ke AmAM kaMI duHkhI thavA jevuM nathI. paNa kyAre ema kahe nahi ke tuM gusse thAya che te khoTuM che, mane gamatuM nathI. temanuM maMtavya eka ja ke ApaNane zuM duHkha che ! nAhakanuM du:kha Ubhu karavuM ? zAMtithI rahevuM ane thAya tevuM dharmadhyAna karavuM. AvA maMtavyane kAraNe teo sadAya prasanna rahetA. kahetA gUMca pADavI nahi, paDe to samatAthI ukelavI. vibhAga-3 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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pAchA jUnI dharatI para, dAdInI cira-vidAya : have ApaNe pAchA jUnI dharatI para jaIe, mosALamAM dAdInI dazA dayanIya hatI. ekalI rAMdhI khAtI. have zarIra paNa cAlatuM na hatuM. saMbhALa paNa levAtI nahi. amArA para pratibaMdha hato. eka vAra bahena kahe, 'ApaNe chAnAmAnA jaIne paNa cAkarI karavI joIe ! bahenanI paNa sthiti nAjuka hatI. eTale meM ja kahyuM ke huM mosALa jaIza. bApujI Thapako Apaze to sAMbhaLI laIza. vaLI sAsarethI javAnuM hatuM. Ama vicArI amuka divase khAvAnuM laIne jatI. kapaDAM dhovAnuM vigere karatI. dAdIne kaMIka rAhata thatI. A badhuM vAMcIne sau ema vicAra karajo ke karmanI sattAnA gUDha bheda kevA che ! kyAre bAMdhyA, kema bAMdhyA e praznonA kaMI ukela nathI, kevaLa samatAthI bhogavyA sivAya. bApujIne kaMI gamyuM nahi. paNa ame sAsarethI jatAM eTale khAsa vAMdho na Avyo. pachI to dAdI pathArIvaza thayAM. moTAM mAmA-mAmIe najIka ghara lIdhuM hatuM. nokarImAM mAmAne lAMbI rajAo bhegI thaI hatI tethI teo AvyA. dAdIne temanA ghera laI gayA. mAre roja be-cAra kalAka madada karavA javuM tema nakkI karyuM. atula zALAe jato hato. ghATI sArI rIte sAcave tevo hato, eTale badhuM goThavAI gayuM. thoDA mahinAnI mAMdagI bhogavI. dAdI tenI dIkarI pAse pahoMcI gaI. dAdInuM jIvana azAMtimAM gayuM hatuM. paraMtu puNyayoge aMtima bImArImAM zAtA pahoMce tema temanI sevAcAkarI thaI. aMte temaNe zAMtipUrvaka cira vidAya lIdhI. mane thayuM ke dAdIe janma sAthe navakAra Apyo hato, tyArathI mArI maMgalayAtrAno prAraMbha thayo haze, samaya jatAM te vikAsa pAmI. tenI sevAcAkarI karavAnI taka maLatI temAM eka RNano bhAva samajuM chuM. bhAInI ciravidAya : Ama lagabhaga sAta varSo nAnI bAbatone gauNa karIe to sukhapUrvaka pasAra thayAM. 1943 mAM traNa divasanI TUMkI bImArI bhogavI lagabhaga aThThAvana varSanI vaye bhAInuM avasAna thayuM. tyAre bhAbhI lagabhaga ADatrIsa mArI maMgalayAtrA 5 vibhAga-3

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varSanAM hatAM. eTale yuvAna ja hatAM. temane mAthe duHkha AvI paDayuM. teone to pitAnA viyoge ghaNo kSobha pedA thayo. chatAM samaya to vaNathaMbhyo vahe che. bhAInA avasAna pachI "teoe bhAbhIne kaMI paNa ochuM na Ave tema badhI ja sagavaDa karI dIdhI. kharekhara ! amane baMnene bhAbhI du:khI thatAM tyAre tenuM duHkha lAgatuM. mAMgaNI pramANe ApatA tethI vaLI kaMI zAMti jaLavAtI. paNa te upara uparanI hatI. vaDIla vIla vaDe yogya vyavasthA karI gayA hatA. hAlano baMgalo atalanA nAme karI gayA hatA. bhAbhIne temAM amuka bhAgamAM jIve tyAM sudhI rahevAno hakka hato. te uparAMta amuka rakama paNa temanA nAme karI hatI. paNa bhAbhIne te mAnya na hatI. eTale asaMtoSanuM duHkha rahyA karatuM hatuM. vaLI pelA saMtanA kahevA pramANe anuSThAnamAM dhananA upayoganI maryAdA cUkI jatAM ane du:khI thatAM. dakSAno janma : bhAInA avasAna pachI 1944mAM dakSAno janma thayo. janmathI ja hRSTapuSTa deha, priya lAge tevI mukhAkRti hatI. teo svayaM premALa hatA. temane dakSA atyaMta priya. moTI thatI gaI tema tema bhadrikapaNAne lIdhe saraLatAthI uchera thato. lakSmIbAne tathA saune priya lAgatI. tene nidrAyoga sAro hato eTale mArI dharmArAdhanAmAM anukULatA rahetI. jIvanamAM vratano prAraMbha-brahmacarya vratamAM kSati : Ama sAMsArika rIte sukhabhogamAM rAcatuM amAruM jIvana pasAra thaI rahyuM hatuM. puNyayoge dharmapravRttinI taka maLI hatI. poLamAM vaDIle sarjana karelA upAzrayane nimitte cAturmAsamAM upAzrayamAM pU. AcArya bhagavaMtonI padharAmaNI thatI. temAM vaDIla ane teonI sAthe ame paNa vyAkhyAnamAM jatA. te samaye kathAnuyoganI vizeSatA rahetI, sAthe rojanA jIvananA pApothI virAma pAmo tevo bodha paNa maLato. eka cAturmAsamAM AcAryazrIe prathamanAM pAMca pApa paikI maithunasevanaabrahmanA pApanuM varNana karyuM. jemAM asaMkhya jIvonI hiMsA thAya. jIvane temAM tIvrarAga thAya eTale durgatinuM kAraNa che. temAM kevaLa sparza sukhanI vibhAga-3 76 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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kSaNika kalpanA che. jIvo kaMcana ane kAminInA sukhAbhAsamAM adhama pariNAmo vaDe adhama pApo karI narakagAmI thAya che. mATe jIvoe brahmacaryanuM pAlana karI A pApathI mukta thavA prayatna karavo. vaLI A viSayavAsanAno saMskAra prANImAtrane mUMjhave che. sthUla brahmacarya pALe to paNa mAnasika saMskAra jato nathI te mATe dRDha manobaLa keLavavA ane tapazcaryA karavI joIe. tene mATe sacoTa daSTAMta paNa ApyAM hatAM. A pravacana sAMbhaLI meM teone kahyuM ke ApaNane to A pApa che te ja khabara nathI. ApaNe to viSayavAsanAnI tIvratAmAM sukha mAnIe chIe. mahArAjajInI vAta sAcI che viSaya sukha kevaLa vAsanA ja che, sukha nathI. teo temanI Adata mujaba sAMbhaLI rahyA. A brahmacarya kema pALavuM teno amane pUro khyAla nahi. bahene samajAvyuM ke ''sparza karavAno nahi. pathArI, oDhavA vigerene judAM karavAM. joke tame nAnAM cho paNa brahmacarya jeTaluM paLAya teTaluM sAruM che. eTalAM pApa ochAM thaze.'' meM teone vAta karI teone lAgyuM ke pAMca tithi barAbara che paNa lAMbo vakhata saMyama Take nahi e rIte ame khyAla rAkhIne abhyAsa zarU karyo. e samaye mArI vaya covIsanI ane teo lagabhaga trIsa najIka hatA. vAsanAnI pracuratA to hatI. paNa teoe kaMI virodha na karyo. jyAre bIje varSe cAturmAsa AvyuM, te pahelAM mane bhAva thayo ke pUruM cAturmAsa nahi paraMtu prathamanA doDha mAsa ApaNe brahmacaryanuM pAlana karIe ? teonI prakRtimAM virodhano bhAva na hato. mAro ullAsa hato tethI saMmata thayA paNa kahe ApaNuM manobaLa kadAca na paNa Take mATe pratijJA nathI levI, prayAsa karazuM. Ama nakkI karI meM mAre mATe pathArI kaDhAvI nAMkhI ane dhAbaLo patharAvyo. Ama baheneM samajAvyuM hatuM tema badhuM juduM karyuM. sAthe sAmAnya tapa karatAM. cAturmAsanAM vyAkhyAna hatAM eTale jematema manobaLa TakyuM to paNa sUkSma rIte to vikSepa thato. chatAM doDha mAsa brahmacaryanuM sthUlapaNe pAlana thayuM. yadyapi tyAre e paNa samajAyuM ke ApaNAmAM viSayavAsanAnI pracuratA ane saMskAra UMDA che tethI sahajapaNe paLAvAne badale prayAsa karavo paDe mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-3 77

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che. vrata vacana kAyAthI to paLAyuM paNa manane dRDha rAkhavA prayatna karavo paDayo hato. joke e rIte paNa pachInA cAturmAsamAM A krama jaLavAI rahyo, tethI lAgyuM ke abhyAsa karavAthI e vrata pALavuM zakya che. ane temAM prasannatA rahI. mane lAgatuM ke e divasomAM dharma-anuSThAnomAM paNa sthiratA rahetI, ane patipatnInA saMbaMdhomAM snehamAM nirdoSatA rahetI. moTe bhAge vAsanAnA Avegane jIvo prema mAne che, te khoTuM che te samajAtuM gayuM. yadyapi vAsanA jitAI na hatI. vratamAM vikSepa : lagabhaga 1945mAM teoe parvAdhirAja zrI paryuSaNamAM aThThAI tapanI ArAdhanA karI. chellA divasa sudhI svasthatApUrvaka, saullAsa, zAtA sahita tapa pUrNa karyuM. mane bhAva hato sAthe aThThAI karavAno paNa cAra upavAsa pUrA thatAM pahelAM to manobaLa tUTI gayuM. rAtre UMgha na Ave, AhArasaMjJA jAgI UThe, eTale e bhAvanA adhUrI rahI. pachI kyAreya e hiMmata na AvI. aThThAI tapanA pAraNe sAdhumahAtmAnAM pagalAM karAvyAM. vahorAvavAno umaMgabhera lAbha lIdho. pachI ame hAtha joDIne UMbhA rahyAM. mahArAja sAheba kahe, ''kaMI pratijJA lo.'' ame to hAtha joDIne bhAvapUrvaka UbhA hatAM. temaNe svayaM eka mAsa brahmacarya ane rAtribhojanatyAganuM paccakkhANa ApyuM. amArA hAtha joDelA hatA. rAtribhojanatyAga to sahajapaNe thatuM. paNa ame chellAM be varasathI comAsAmAM prathamanuM 15 mAsI brahmacarya vrata sthUlapaNe pALatAM hatAM. tethI e vrata tarata ja karavAnuM hatuM. ane aMtarAya vagara laMbAvavAmAM jarA kasoTI thaI. vratamAM TakI na zakyA tyAre prAyazcitta levAnI samaja paNa na hatI. ane saMkoca paNa kharo. vaLI jANIjoIne karelI bhUlanuM prAyazcitta zuM hoya ! Ama vratabhaMga thayo hato. meM pahelAM ja jaNAvyuM che ke jyAre mArA jIvanaprasaMgo lakhavAnI hiMmata karI te trAhita vyaktipaNuM rAkhIne lakhuM chuM tethI manamAM bhUtakALa satAvato nathI. AvI ghaNI kSatio thatI hatI. ahIM saheje jaNAvI che. vibhAga-3 mArI maMgalayAtrA 08

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chatAM paNa jema tapa karyA pachI AhAra to levAno che tethI tapamAM manobaLa TakatuM tema kathaMcita brahmacarya pALyA pachI vaLI pAchuM viSayasukha to che tethI te divasomAM saMskAra zAMta raheto hato. paNa mULamAM to tenI asara hatI. chatAM temAM pApa che te vAta manamAM vasI javAthI e vrata pALavAnA bhAva TakI rahetA. paraMtu mULamAM vRtti to hatI ja. vaLI jyAre zAstrAbhyAsa karyo tyAre e bhAna thayuM ke A prakRtino nAza navamA guNasthAnakanA prAraMbhamAM thAya che. tevI dazAnI prabaLatA mATe sAdhakoe nIcenI kakSAe abhyAsa to karavo ja joIe. to ja saMskAranAM mULa nabaLAM thAya. jo abhyAsa na karo to saMskAra jIvane A mArge AgaLa vadhavA na de. anubhave jaNAya che ke AhAra, bhaya, maithuna ane parigraha-mUchanA saMskAra keTalA gherA che. tapa jevAM anuSThAno chatAM A saMskAra jIvanA manobaLane pAMkhuM karI nAkhe che. mATe sAdhake punaH punaH puruSArtha karI manuSyajanmamAM maLelI zaktino saupayoga karI A saMjJAone upazamAvavA prayAsa karavo. ema vicAraNA karatI. vizeSapaNe to svabhAva sanmukhatA keLavyA vagara A saMskAro mULamAMthI jatA nathI te tathya ghaNuM moDuM samajayuM hatuM. teonI lAgaNIvazatA : teo jevA samatAvAna tevA lAgaNIpradhAna hatA. atulane gaLAmAM kAkaDAnuM darda thayuM, tenI sarjarI karavAnI hatI. tene mATe ame muMbaI gayA. atula hospiTalanuM nAma sAMbhaLI raDe. te joIne teo hospiTale sAthe AvI na zakyA. kAkAne laIne huM gaI. thoDI vAre phona karIne khabara ApI ke ciMtA na karazo. bIjo prasaMga evo banyo ke dakSA garbhathI ja vajanadAra hatI. tenA janma vakhate kaMI bhUla thavAthI koI nasa dabAvAthI tenI Doka jarA vAMkI thaI. te jayAre besatI thaI tyAre khyAla Avyo. muMbaI jaIne DaoNkTarane batAvyuM. DaoNkTare teone bolAvIne kahyuM ke juo, huM batAvuM te pramANe tamAre gaLAne pakaDIne kheMcavAnI kasarata karAvavAnI che. DaoNkTare e vidhi batAvI tyAre dakSA raDI UThI. teoe tarata ja DaoNkTarane kahyuM tame A mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-3

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vidhi tenI mammIne batAvo. teonuM hRdaya AvuM komaLa hatuM. - tyAra pachI e vidhi meM zIkhI lIdhI te pramANe cAra mAsa raDAvIne roje be vAra te masAja karavuM paDatuM. nahitara ATha. dasa varasanI thAya tyAre sarjarI karAvavI paDe. AthI meM mana daDha karIne e masAja cAra mAsa karyA karyo ane Doka sIdhI thaI gaI. Ama mArI chApa jabarI che ema paDatI gaI. Akhare phAvyA vakhaNAya tevuM che. lagnajIvananAM sAteka varSamAM sAmAnya prasaMge kaMI manaduHkha thatuM to tenuM sahaja samAdhAna thatuM. teo je kaMI samAdhAna karatA te svIkArI letI. bhAInA avasAna pachI bhAbhI to potAnI prakRti pramANe saMgharSa karatAM, meM joyuM. have mane te khaTakatuM eTale huM temanA para gusse thatI. atula jIda kare tyAre tene paNa dholadhapATa karatI. yadyapi temanI samatA joI zAMta thaI jatI. koI vAra e tasavRtti lAMbI cAlatI pachI jayAre mana zAMta thatuM tyAre kahetI ke tame mArA gussA sAme gusso karo to mane lAge che ke huM zAMta rahI zakuM. teo smita karI letA, zuM javAba Ape ! teomAM buddhipratibhA hatI, yazasvI jIvana hatuM, paraMtu koI kSetre teo ugra thaI zakatA nahi. koInA doSa joI zakatA nahi. pachI mAro doSa kyAMthI jue ! AthI mArA gussAne samatAthI nibhAvI letA, atulanI jIdane vAtsalyathI nibhAvatA, bhAbhInI ugratAne lakSyamAM letA ja nahi. teo kahetA ke ApaNane zuM duHkha che ! nAhakanA azAMti karavI. pachI to muMbaI gayA. tyAM koI vizeSa saMgharSanuM kAraNa na hatuM. jIvana sukhadapaNe vahyuM jatuM hatuM. te AgaLa joIe. | hatA kaurava ane pAMDava, jagatanA mahAbaLI yoddhA na jANya zrI kRSNa jevAe na jAyuM bhISmapitAe savAre zuM thavAnuM che ? vibhAga-3 80 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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amadAvaoNdathI zuMbaI bhaNI sthaLAMtara 1947 * atulanI bimArInA nimitte muMbaI bhaNI * navA makAnanuM nirmANa * bALako sAthenI sukhada caryA * muMbaImAM jagatazeThanI alpakAlIna ujavaLa kArakIrdi * muMbaImAM mArI muMjhavaNa * sAmAjika mAnavasevAno prAraMbha * saralAbahenanI hArdika mitratA * kudaratanA khoLe sauMdaryano AnaMda * pU. kAnajI svAmInuM AMzika bodha zravaNa tathA nizrAno yoga "lakSmI ane adhikAra vadhatA, zuM vadhyuM te to kaho ? zuM kuMTuMba ke parivArathI, vadhavApaNuM e naya graho vadhavApaNuM nasa sAra nuM, naredehane hArI jevo. teno vicAra nahi ahoho ekapaLa tamane havI . uzrImad rAjacaMdrajI "satkarmo nI su gaMdhI tArI cogaradama phelAze, biMdu saumAM Atama nirakhaje, phero sArthaka thAze."

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prabhubhakta zrAvakanI bhavyatA rAdhanapuranA zreSThI kamaLasIbhAI bahu moTA prabhu bhakta hatA. temanA mAtuzrInI mAMdagI daramyAna kamaLasIbhAIe pucheluM : mA! tArA dAgInA baso tolAnA che; enuM zuM karavuM che ? mAe kahayuM : tArI dharmapatnIne e Apaje. kamaLasIbhAIe kahyuM : mA ! tuM kaheze e pramANe thaze. paNa tArI putravadhu e dAgInA paheraze to ene rAga thaze; ane jo e sonAnI prabhunI AMgI karAvIzuM to loko enuM darzana karIne virAgI banaze. tuM kahe mA ! zuM karavAnuM ? mAe kahayuM : to prabhunI AMgI banAvarAvajo ! zrAvakapaNuM Ama pragaTa thAya, pariNAme jIva prabhuparAyaNatA pAme che. - pU. A. zrI yazovijyasUrijI

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| atulanI bImArI nimitte muMbaI bhaNI 1945/46mAM atulane khurasInI bImArI thaI. DaoNkTaranI salAha mujaba muMbaI gayA. tyAMnA niSNAta DaoNkTarane batAvyuM. temaNe salAha ApI, nAsika sUkI havAmAM A bALakane cAra mAsa rAkhavo. sAthe keTalAka ilAja lakhI ApyA. bhAre davAo ApI. Ameya thoDI jIdanI prakRti temAM bImArI AvI. davAothI kaMTALI jato. teo vyApAramAM bAhoza, paNa lAgaNIpradhAna hovAthI mUMjhAyA. muMbaImAM vaDIlakAkAnI ghaNI otha hatI. Ama ame lagabhaga cAreka mAsa nAsika rahyAM. atulane kAraNe AhArAdimAM pauSTikatA, phaLa-phaLAdinI vipulatA, tethI khAvA-pIvAnI bhAre mijabAnI to hatI. rasoiyo, ghATI, bAI, DAyavara, gADI badhI ja vyavasthA hatI. mAMdagI tathA bhAre davAone kAraNe atulanuM zarIra vaLe ja nahi. tyAre dIkarI dakSA traNeka varSanI, mULathI sArI taMdurasta, Ama paNa ame traNe sArA hRSTapuSTa hatAM, temAM vadhAro thayo ane jene mATe A prayojana hatuM, te atulabhAInA vaizAkha caDhyA nahi. paNa roga dUra thayo. (mANasone paNa kAma ochuM, khAvAnuM sarakhuM eTale badhAMnuM lohI caDhyuM.) - teo nAsikathI dhaMdhArthe muMbaI bajAramAM jatA; sAMje pAchA AvatA. koI vAra amadAvAda jatA... pAchA tarata ja AvatA. paraMtu muMbaImAM dhaMdhAmAM vadhu vikAsa jaNAvAthI teoe muMbaI sthAyI thavAnuM vicAryuM ane zrejIsa roDa para eka ploTa kharIdyo jemAM traNamALAmAM bhADUAta hatA. bAjunA khAlI ploTamAM traNa mALanuM navuM makAna baMdhAvavAnuM zarU karyuM. amadAvAda pAchA AvI muMbaI javAnI taiyArI karI. muMbaI sthAyI thayA : 1947mAM vekezana hatuM eTale ame juhu dariyAkinAre rahyAM, tyAM sudhImAM makAna taiyAra thaI gayuM. cAra blaoNka bhADe ApyA. be bloka ame rAkhyA. kula ATha oraDAmAM adyatana pharnicara vasAvyuM. eka bhADUAta ghara derAsara sAthe AvyA. temane prathama agrimatA ApI. AthI manamAM bhaktibhAva hatA te sacavAI gayA. thoDA vakhatamAM nokaro vigere paNa sArI rIte maLI gayA. bhautika rIte lAgyuM ke badhuM vyavasthita goThavAI gayuM. paNa hAya ! koNa jANatuM hatuM mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-4

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ke A badhuM cAra divasanA cAMdaraNA jevuM nIvaDavAnuM che. sukha kUdakA mAratuM hatuM ke duHkha tarapha laI jatuM hatuM te kudaratanuM gUDha rahasya hatuM. 1947mAM Ama to zubha muhUrta vAstupUjana karI navA makAnamAM rahevA lAgyA. Akhare to te muhUrta ThagAruM nIvaDyuM. muMbaI rahevA gayA tyAre atulane nava varSa ane dakSAne cAra varSa pUrAM thayAM hatAM. muMbaImAM phelozIpa mAdhyamika zALAmAM atula ane dakSAnuM bhaNatara zarU karyuM. atulano svabhAva maLatAvaDo eTale goThavAI gayo. dakSA sAthe bAI zALAe mokalavI paDatI. bAI kalAsanI bahAra besI rahetI. jevI risesa paDe ke dakSA bAInA khoLAmAM goThavAI jAya. zarIra taMdurasta (jADuM), mukha para bhadrikatA eTale zALAnA sau zikSako paNa tenA gAla para hAtha pheravI letA. vaLI bhaNavAmAM kuzaLa eTale eka varSa AgaLa levAmAM AvI. bALako sAthenI sukhada caryA : dakSA zarIre hRSTapuSTa eTale vajana sAruM hatuM. chatAM sAMje pappA Ave, gADInuM haoNrna sAMbhaLe, doDatI nIce jAya. pappAnuM pAkITa pote bagalamAM rAkhe ane pappA tene teDIne dAdarA caDhe. mALAmAM sau kahe, "A jADIne teDIne caDhatA hAMphI jazo tyAre teo sasmita javAba ApatA : jADI to vahAlI che. bhAra lAgato nathI. vaLI upara jaIne te mArA paga dabAve che." koIvAra nIcethI ja atula sAthe thaI jato. traNe bAjumAM ramakaDAMnI dukAne UpaDI jAya, ane Dhagalo ramakaDAM laIne Ave. ghATIne pUchuM ke "kema koI dekhAtuM nathI ?" ghATI kahe, ""bAbAbhAI ane bebIbahena zeTha sAthe kaMI gayA che." Ama sAMsArikapaNe teo bALako sAthe sukhada jIvana mANatA hatA. sAMje jamI paravArIne nirAMte bese tyAre dakSA teonA peTa para goThavAI jAya... jANe te khorAka pacAvavAnI kriyA hoya ! atula bAju para besIne teonA hAthanI koNIne paMpALe. huM sAme beThI joyA karuM. Ama muMbaImAM be varSa sukhamAM kyAMya pasAra thaI gayA. bALako thoDI vAra mALAmAM mitro sAthe ramavA jAya. pachI vaLI thoDI vAra bALakone kaMIka ramADIe, huM vArtA kahuM. bALako sUI jAya. ame kaMIka vAto karIe. thoDI vAra bhADUAta mitrane tyAM jaIe. agara thoDI vAra pAnAM vibhAga-4 84 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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ramIe. sUI jaIe. Ama kaMI kleza ke vikSepa vagara jIvana pANInA relAnI jema sukhamAM vahyuM jatuM hatuM. vaLI teonA zokha paNa bhAre. mAre bajAramAM sADIo jovA mahadaMze javuM na paDe. amaracaMdakAkAnI putrI maMjulAbahena navI sADIo lAve eTale teo maMgAvI le. te rIte alaMkAro navA navA AvI jAya. atula-dakSAne paNa dara traNacAra mAse navAM navAM kapaDAMnA DhagalA thAya. pote paNa tevA ja bhAre kapaDAM lAve. bIjI paNa aneka vastu gharamAM Ave. e pramANe dAna jevAM kAryo paNa kare. AvI mastIthI jIvatA hatA. muMbaImAM jagatazeThanI ujjavaLa kArakirdI : 1947mAM muMbaI gayA pachI hyujIsa roDa para makAna lIdhuM ane khAlI jagAmAM bIjA traNa mALa bAMdhyA, adyatana pharanicara vagere vasAvyuM. vaLI teono dhaMdho saphaLatApUrvaka vikasato hato. vaya nAnI (30/31) paNa te kSetre bhAgya moTuM hatuM ! amadAvAda lokhaMDa esosiezananA pramukha hatA. muMbaImAM eka varSamAM sArI khyAti meLavI. dhana-samRddhimAM vadhAro thayo. sAthe dAna-dharma paNa rucato gayo ane dAnanuM satkArya thatuM rahetuM. varSamAM eka vAra khUba dabadabAthI hila sTezane ekAda mAsa javuM. navI navI vastuo kharIdavI. ghaNA prakAranA mojazokhathI rahevuM. varSamAM ekabe vAra yAtrAe javuM. tyAM paNa lakSmIno sadvyaya karavo. jarUriyAtavALAne gupta rIte sahAya karavI, utsava-mahotsava karavA. dhArmika saMsthAomAM yogadAna karavuM eTale e kSetramAM paNa sArI khyAti meLavI. amadAvAda kula sAteka makAno hatAM. vaLI muMbaInAM makAnono vadhAro thayo. A sarva paristhitimAM mArA manamAM keTalAka prazno uddabhavatA ke ATaluM badhuM zA mATe ? vaLI have bhAI na hatA eTale pelA gAMdhI bApunI hAkala saMbhaLAtI. jo ke 1947mAM AjhAdI maLI eTale dezanI rUparekhA badalAI gaI. gAMdhIbApu kahetA, ""sau racanAtmaka kAma karo." ane mane e vAta racatI. muMbaImAM mArI mUMjhavaNa : vaLI mArA mATe muMbaImAM samaya pasAra karavo tenI mUMjhavaNa hatI. navuM hatuM eTale mitro nahi, tyAre Aja jevA dharmanAM maMDaLo nahi, klaba jevuM jIvana to pasaMda na hatuM. gharamAM nokaro kAma kare te jovA sivAya kaMI mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-4 85

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kAma na hatuM. keTaluM vAMcuM? keTalAM sAmAyika karuM? banne bALako zALAe jatAM. teo ophise jatAM 11 thI 4 sudhI samaya khAvA dhAto. eka divasa meM kahyuM, ""mane muMbaI gamatuM nathI, amadAvAda mAre ekalA rahevuM nathI. mAre gAMdhIjInI hAkala pramANe kaMI kAma karavuM che. A sAdhanothI bharapUra gharamAM mane to mUMjhavaNa thAya che. koI garIbonuM kAma karIe to ApaNuM jIvana saphaLa thAya. koIne sukha ApIe, sukha vadhe." mArI vaya lagabhaga 27 varSa jevI. A vicAra thavA e mAruM puNya hatuM. agara je gharamAM sonAnI thALImAM prabhunI pUjA karavAnI, cAMdInAM pAtromAM jamavAnuM, cAMdInI kuMDImAM vAra-tahevAre nahAvAnuM, hIrA-sonAnA seTa paheravAnA, moTA ArasanA haoNlamAM adyatana sophAseTamAM besavAnuM, erakaMDizana rUmamAM sUI javAnuM, yuvAnI dIvAnI jevuM hatuM. paNa te javAnI paNa hatI ne ! vaLI banne sAthe pratikramaNa, sAmAyika, prabhu-pUjA karatAM eTale kaMI mUMjhavaNanuM kAraNa na hatuM. prathama teone na samajAyuM ke mane A sukhamAM mUMjhavaNa kema thAya che ? enI pAchaLa mArA manamAM to ghaNA vikalpa hatA. A mATe ApaNe thoDAM varSo pAchaLa jovuM paDaze. ke tyAre zuM zuM banyuM ane tene mArA mana para kevA pratyAghAto paDyA hatA. paropakAranI bhAvanA sAthe e prasaMgo paNa mArI A mUMjhavaNanuM AMzika kAraNa hatuM. mArA piyara pakSanI Arthika nabaLI paristhitino manamAM raMja hato. koI vAra ukela sUjhato nahi. bApujI : zerabajAramAM dhana gumAvatA rahyA. e khoTa pUrI karavAnuM zakya na hatuM. mArI pAse aDhaLaka dhana hoya toya mArI guMjAyaza rojanA nirvAhamAM sahAya karavA jeTalI hoya. jo ke te to zAradAbAnAM bhAIbahena paNa nibhAvatA. saMtAnone paNa rAkhatA. chatAM darekanI maryAdA rahetI. bApujI mArI pAse vizeSa apekSA rAkhe te svAbhAvika hatuM. paNa mArI keTalIka maryAdAo rahetI tethI bApujI nArAja rahetA. bahena : temanA patine nokarI na hoya. "teoe' koI jagAe nokarImAM mUkyA paraMtu temanA khaTapaTI svabhAvathI tyAM TakyA nahi. zerabajAra jatA, gumAvatA, lAvatA ema kaMIka nabhatuM hatuM. saMtAnaprAptinI vRddhi thatI rahetI. temane ghaNI madada karavI paDatI. tethI duHkhe duHkhe nabhatuM hatuM. tethI mane duHkha thatuM. vibhAga-4 mArI maMgalayAtrA LE

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bhAI : mArAthI moTA hatAM grejayueTa thaI zakyA nahi eTale nokarImAM takalIpha thatI. bApa-dAdAno dhaMdho nahi. "teoe" lokhaMDanA esosiezanamAM mUkI ApyA. paraMtu lagna thayelAM, judA rahelA, saMtAnaprApti thatI rahI... A kAraNothI te paNa Arthika bhIMsamAM rahetA eTale mArI pAse apekSA rAkhatA. vaLI sAmAnya sahAya karavAthI nabhatuM. bIjI bAju poLamAM vaDIlano upAzraya. amAruM kuTuMba agragaNya gaNAya. parvonI ArAdhanAmAM prabhAvanAnI; utsavanI bhAvanA thatI eTale temAM dhanano sadvyaya thato tevuM "teone vaDIlane lAgatuM. ane teo te pramANe satkAryo karatA. mAruM sAsaruM ane piyara eka ja poLamAM eTale A badhuM saunI najare paDatuM, tethI paNa sahAya mATe koI vikalpo te saune UThe te banavA joga hatuM. game teTalI saMpatti hoya to paNa vaDIlanI hAjarI eTale amArI maryAdA rahetI. ame muMbaI sthaLAMtara karyuM tyAre uparanI hakIkatamAM koI phera paDyo na hato tenI mane raMja jarUra raheto. paNa nAnI vaya, strI prakRtinI udAratA ochI eTale mArAthI vadhu kaMI banatuM nahi. je kaMI Azika banatuM temAMthI kaMI vaLatuM nahi. darekanI badhI ja jarUriyAta pUrI thaI zakatI nahi. mAnavajIvana kevaLa sukha bhogavavA mATe nathI : uparanAM A kAraNothI ke koI pUrvanA saMskArathI game te kAraNe teonA niraMtara sahavAsa sivAya, khUba mojazokha, khUba vastrAlaMkAra, khUba sAdhanasAmagrI vigeremAM sukha to lAgatuM paNa lolupatA na thatI. kyAreka vaibhavano ahaMkAra AvI jato, parantu anya sevAnAM kSetronA kAraNe te vadhu vega na pakaDato. teonA zAMta saraLa svabhAva, khUba premabharyA sahavAsamAM mane kyAreka sukhanuM zikhara hoya tevuM lAgatuM. chatAM bhautika sukha kema mUMjhavatuM haze ? AmAM pUrve jaNAvelAM ghaNAM kAraNo sAthe mukhya kAraNa mane lAgatuM ke ApaNe sukhI chIe. samaya che to teno upayoga karavo. savizeSa mAnavasevAnAM kAma karavAM, evI eka bhAvanA hRdayamAM bharelI hatI. eka divasa sAMje beThA hatA. meM pUchayuM : ""Akho divasa vizALa gharamAM mAre zuM karavAnuM !' "bALako che, navalakathAo vAMco, sAmAyika kara." evA javAbathI mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-4 7.

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mane saMtoSa na thayo. mAre to gAMdhIjIe kahyuM che tevuM kaMI kAma karavuM che. "mAnavajIvana kevaLa sukhabhoga mATe nathI." gAMdhIjI ane dharma paNa Ama kahe che ke mAnavane mATe avakAza paropakAra karavo te kartavya che. teo mArI vAtamAM saMmata thayA. temanI prakRtimAM virodha karavAnuM hatuM nahi tethI mane saraLatA rahI. sAmAjika kSetre mAnavasevAnuM maMDANa : sAmAjika sevAnA vicArone teoe sahakAra Apyo. bIje divase amArA vaDIla amaracaMdakAkAnA bhAIne tyAM gayA. temanI dIkarI saralAbahena, gAMdhIjInA kAryakramomAM bhAga letAM, temano mane paricaya karAvyo. huM temanI sAthe kAme lAgI. te bahena to khUba bhaNelAM. caLavaLamAM hiMmatapUrvaka kAma kareluM. temanI pAse huM to ghaNI aNaAvaData jevI lAge. zALAnuM zikSaNa alpa. paNa mAre to kAma karavuM hatuM eTale mane teno saMkoca na thayo. temaNe nakkI karyA mujaba temanI sAthe gaI. e hatI caMdanavADI khAravA mAchImAronI cAla. cAreya bAju mAchalAM sUkAtAM hoya tenI gaMdha. gharomAM lasaNanA vaghAra thAya tenI gaMdha, ane temanA jAjarU to pANInI achate gaMdakIthI UbharAya. Ama gaMdhanI triveNI kharI paNa apavitra saMgamanA Are mAre kAma karavAnuM hatuM, kema thaze ? gharamAM eka rajakaNano kacaro na dekhAya tevI svacchatA, bAtharUma to Arasa ke adyatana raMgaberaMgI TAilsanAM. be vacce eka ja bAtharUma vaparAya, te paNa be vAra dhovAya. kAMdA-lasaNa to joyelA ja nahi. ane A vAtAvaraNamAM be-traNa kalAka besavAnuM. ApaNuM pANI sAthe laI jaIe to paNa pIvAnI icchA na thAya. chatAM manamAM ema hatuM ke gAMdhIjInA Adarza pramANe kAma to karavuM. vaLI saralAbahena paNa saMpanna gharanA ja hatAM. te kAma kare to mArAthI kema nA thAya? prathama divase cAlImAM pharI, prauDha zikSaNanuM kAma karavAnuM ane sArA saMskAra maLe tevI vAto karavAnI. cAlInA saue khUba AvakAra Apyo. temanI oraDIo svaccha hatI. paNa temanA zarIramAM temanA AhAra pramANe gaMdha AvatI ! manamAM mUMjhAI ane nakkI karyuM "have kAle nahi AvuM." paNa saralAbahenane ""nA" na pADI zakI roje mana " "nA"' vibhAga-4 88 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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pADatuM, paNa bIje divase jatI. bALako zALAe jAya, teo oNphise jAya, tyAre bapore 2 thI 4 sudhI cAlImAM jatI, pachI to te sauno sabhAva, saralAbahenanI preraNA, ane sevAkAryanI bhAvanAne kAraNe lagabhaga sAtaATha varSa tyAM kArya karyuM. vacamAM saMyogAdhIne eka varSa jaI zakI na hatI. samayanA saduupayogano saMtoSa maLyo hato. saralAbahenanI hArdika mitratA : muMbaImAM amArA vaDIla amaracaMdakAkA, temanA bhAInI suputrI te saralAbahena. ame muMbaInI saphare jatAM tyAre kAkAne tyAM rahetAM, tyAre saralAbahenano sAmAnya paricaya thayo. teo gAMdhIjIe cIMdhelA racanAtmaka kAryamAM joDAyelA. saraLa svabhAva, sevAbhAva, kAryakuzaLatA sAthe ema.e. sudhIno abhyAsa paNa kharo, hajI kuMvArA hatA. saralAbahenano paricaya e samaye mAre mATe khUba ja upayogI ane Azvasta hato. kAraNa ke 1948mAM saralAbahena sAthe meM sevAkArya zarU karyuM ane 1949mAM teoe ciravidAya lIdhI. tyAre mitranI jema saralAbahena ghaNo sAtha ApatAM. bALako sAthe khUba ja premathI bhaLI jatAM. eTale kuTuMbanA sabhya ja hatA. hiMdustAna-pAkistAnanA bhAgalA samaye sarahada para kaTokaTI UbhI thaI tyAre strIonI khUba hAlAkI thaI hatI. tyAre te vistAramAM teo sevA ApavA gayA hatA. tyAM kaSTa paNa sahevuM paDyuM. saMpanna gharamAM UcharelAM chatAM sevAbhAvathI varelAM hatAM. Ama te samaye AvA sevAkAryamAM otaprota rahetAM. tyAra pachI temaNe caMdanavADI khAravAnI cAlImAM sthAyI racanAtmaka kArya zarU karyuM je agAu jaNAvyuM che. huM temanAmAMthI preraNA laIne e kAryamAM TakI hatI. atula-dakSA to temanI sAthe khUba ja haLI gayelAM. tenA pariNAme saralAbahena bALakone TyUzana ApatAM. teo kahetAM mane nANAMnI jarUra che tema nahi. pote kuMvArA hatAM. eTale ema ke mArAmAM zakti che to huM svAvalaMbI thAuM. Ama samajI teo TyUzana letAM thayA hatAM. atuladakSAne paNa te khUba anukULa hatuM. teo saralAbahenane khUba AvakAratAM. huM koI haravA-pharavAnA sthaLe jatI nahi. eTale bALako saralAbahena sAthe kAzmIra paNa gayAM hatAM. mArI maMgalayAtrA 89 vibhAga-4

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sevAkAryanA photramAM temane mArkaDabhAI ThAkorano paricaya thayo hato. te thoDA varSe praNayamAM pariNamyo. eka bAju sevAkAryano rasa ane bIjI bAju mAnavIya prakRti. chevaTe lagabhaga pAMtrIsathI paNa vadhu vaye pahoMcyA pachI lagnajIvana svIkAryuM. eTale jIvanapaddhati badalAI. thoDI javAbadArI paNa kharI. eTale amAre tyAM AvavAnuM ochuM banatuM. AthI atuladakSAne prAraMbhamAM duHkha lAgatuM. teo baMne mAnavapremI hatAM. tethI jANe temanA vagara sUnuM lAgatuM paNa TevAI gayAM. pachI to mArkaDabhAI sAthe amAro paricaya vRddhi pAmyo. amArAM kAmomAM te sahAyaka thatA. bALakone paNa temanI sAthe gamatuM. vaLI saralAbahene paNa eka putrIne janma Apyo hato. tenuM nAma zIvAnI che. 1956mAM ame amadAvAda sthaLAMtara karyuM. mArI jema saralAbahenanA jIvanamAM adhyAtmabhAvanA jAgI. teoe caMdanavADInuM kAma alpa karyuM ane satsaMgamAM vadhu samaya gALavA lAgyA. savizeSa temano digaMbara saMskAra hovAthI temanA svAdhyAyI vigere e praNAlInAM hatA. paraMtu tattva- jijJAsAne kAraNe teo dhyAna jevI paddhatio yogya lAge temAM utsAhathI joDAI jatAM. AthI Ama ame pAchaLanA samayamAM satsaMgI mitro thaI gayAM hatAM. chatAM gRhasaMsAranI gUMco to AvatI hatI. jyAre teo mUMjhAI jatA, tyAre amadAvAda AvIne paMdaravIsa divasa rahI jatA. temanI sAthe amAro pArivArika saMbaMdha paNa ghaNo lAMbo samaya rahyo arthAta traNa peDhI sudhI rahyo. ame lagabhaga samavayaska hatA. 1999mAM huM amerikA hatI. saralAbahenane ekAda varasathI zArIrika nabaLAI, kaMIka takalIpho zarU thaI hatI. temAM kiDanIne kaMI takalIpha thaI ane paMdareka divasanI mAMdagI bhogavI teo ciravidAya thayAM. ame baMne sukhaduHkhanAM sAthI hatAM te prasaMgonI yAda hajI paNa smRtimAM che. tethI A lakhavA prerAI chuM. kudaratanA khoLe sauMdaryano AnaMda : bhAI hatA tyAre temanI nAjuka tabiyatane kAraNe ame kyAMya pharavA jatA nahi, joke tyAre e praNAlI paNa ochI hatI. vaLI ame varSamAM eka vAra yAtrAe ane eka vAra dariyAkinAre sau sAthe ja jatAM, eTale anya prayojana rahetuM nahi. vibhAga-4 mArI maMgalayAtrA O

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1943mAM bhAInuM avasAna thayuM. 1944mAM dakSAno janma thayo. te eka varSanI thaI tyAre 1945mAM ame amArA mitra zrI hIrAlAla bhagavatInA kuTuMba sAthe kAzamIra gayAM. tyAre amAre AhAranA keTalAka niyama hatA. vaLI temanAM be ane amArAM be ema cAra bALakonI sagavaDa sacavAya eTale rasoIyo ane nokara sAthe laI gayA hatA. traNeka saptAha tyAM hAusa boTamAM rahyAM, anyatra pharyA. teonA zokha pramANe sArI evI kharIdI paNa karelI. tyAre tyAM hAla jevI sagavaDo na hatI. ane ThaMDI to ghaNI ja chatAM yuvAnI hatI eTale sahya hatuM. AnaMdapUrvaka saphara thaI hatI. kAzmIranA sauMdarya ne kAraNe pacAsa varSa pahelAM sauMdaryarasiyA zrInagarane svarga kahetA. ahIMnAM sthaLo lIlAchama pradezane kAraNe ati raLiyAmaNA lAgatA. himagirinI hAramALAnuM sUryanA tejamAM camakatuM sauMdarya ghaDIbhara jovA jevuM jaNAtuM. joke mArI prakRtimAM AvAM sthaLomAM, boTamAM pharavuM vigereno ghaNo rasa na hato. tethI koI vAra dakSAne laIne nivAse ja rahetI. thoDuM gamatuM tyAre vaLI saunI sAthe sauMdaryane jovAmAM AnaMda letI. bajAramAM paNa ochuM javAnuM banatuM. teo pote ghaNuM kharIdIne lAvatA eTale khAsa prayojana rahetuM nahi. pUro eka mAsa kudaratanA khoLe ArAmathI ane AnaMdathI rahyA. punaH javAnuM banyuM nathI, IcchayuM nathI. tyAra pachI muMbaI nivAsa thayo tyAre mALAnA ja bhADUAta ramaNabhAI vasubahenanA kuTuMba sAthe 1948mAM uTAkAmaMDa bAju gayA hatA. tyAre paNa rasoiyA ghATIne laIne gayA hatA. tyAM pharavA mATe agAuthI zevaroleTa gADImAM mANaso mokalyA hatA. AhArano zokha eTale ghaNI vastuo gADImAM mUkI hatI. tyAre paNa paMdaravIsa divasa majA mANI AnaMdathI pAchA pharyA. - uTI jatAM vacamAM ekabe sthaLonI madrAsa-beMgaloranI yAtrA goThavI hatI. tyAM devadarzanano lAbha maLyo hato. kharIdIno paNa ghaNo lAbha lIdho hato. Ama teonuM mAnasa mojazokha pratye jhUkatuM. paNa sAthe dharmanA saMskAra hovAthI kyAMya AhAramAM dUSaNa lAgavA na detA, musApharImAM paNa tapano divasa Ave to upavAsa karI letA. AthI kaMIka bhAvanAo jaLavAtI, yadyapi yuvAnImAM saMpannatA pramANe jIvana mojIluM hatuM. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-4

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uTAkAmaMDano vistAra raLiyAmaNo che. chatAM kAzmIra jeTaluM na gaNAya. paraMtu sahelANIo mATe AnaMdapramoda maLI rahe tevuM che. eka prakAranI bhautika nivRttino e AnaMda hato. punaH keTalAka satsaMgI-sahelANIo sAthe 1988mAM uTI bAju javAnuM banyuM hatuM. tyAre madrAsa vigere sthaLonI yAtrAno bhAva hato. joke bahu yAtrA jevuM banyuM nahi. AthI jyAre sau pharavA nIkaLatA ke sarovara jevA pANInA pravAhamAM sahelagAhe nIkaLatA tyAre nivAsehoTelamAM sAmAyika vAMcana karatI. eka vAra evA sarovarane pA2e beThI hatI. dUra sudhI gIca jaMgala hatuM. dUra najara nAMkhI ane jotI hatI ke bhagavAna AvA ja vanamAM rAtridivasa nirbhayapaNe gALatA hatA ane te dRzyathI hRdaya bhAvabhInuM thaI jatuM. A sarovara vIsa mAIlanA vistAravALuM hatuM. prathama divase uTImAM mitrone pUchyuM ahIM derAsara haze ? sau kahe nathI. sau bajAra vigere pharavA gayA hatA. huM hoTelanA oraDAmAM sAmAyika karatI hatI. mane bhAvamAM derAsara dekhAya. sAmAyika pUrA karI bahAra nIkaLI hoTelanA maeNnejarane pUchyuM. derAsa2mAM na samaja eTale kahe 'jaina maMdira hai.' ane sAMje mitrone vAta karI bIje divase derAsara pahoMcyA tyAM pUjA karI. bajAranA jaina vyApArI temanA nivAse laI gayA ane AdarapUrvaka prItibhojana karAvyuM. ghaNA divase prabhuno sparza maLyo. mAruM hRdaya prasanna thaI UThayuM hatuM. svapnanI jema be varasa pasAra thayAM. samaya jaldI pUro kyAre thAya ane lAMbo kyAre lAge te mAnavanA mananI aMtara paristhiti ane bAhya saMyogo para AdhArita che. ghaDiyALanA kAMTA to enA e ja phare che. kaeNlenDaranAM pAnAM paNa pharatAM rahe che. mAnavanuM mana lolakanI jema laTakyA kare che. amadAvAdamAM kauTumbika jIvananI keTalIka ghaTanAothI saMgharSa pedA thato, keTalAka sAmAjika baMdhano paNa kharAM, muMbaImAM to tadana svataMtra jIvana. kaMI aMtarAya nahi. saunI taMdurastI paNa kharI. vaLI dharmabhAvanAnA kAraNe paNa AMtarika AnaMda je sAMsArika puNyayoga sAthe joDAyelo hato. jIvana eka saMvAditAthI vahyuM jatuM hatuM. rAtridivasa AMkhanI palakamAM pasAra thatAM evuM lAgatuM. vibhAga-4 92 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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vaLI saMtAno sAthe amAruM jIvana paNa sukharUpa hatuM. amArI caryA suMdara rIte cAlatI hatI. makAnamAM bIjA bhADUAta hatA. temAM eka kuTuMba potAnI sAthe derAsara paNa lAvyA hatA. savAre pAMca vAge UThI ame sAme ja haMgiMga gArDanamAM pharavA jatAM. cha vAge AvI pratikramaNa ke sAmAyika sAthe karatAM. pachI bALakone uThADI, sAthe navakArazI karatAM. snAnAdithI paravArI sAthe sevA-pUjA karatAM. ravivAra hoya to sAthe darzana karavA jatAM. 9 thI 10 bALakone zikSaka bhaNAve ame vaLI kaMI vAMcana ke sAmAyika karIe. pachI teo ane bALako jamI le. teo oNphise jAya, bALako zALAe jAya. huM gharamAM ekalI paDuM. nokara, rasoiyo ane bAI hatAM. eTale mAre kaMI karavAnuM nahi. novela vAMcuM. dhArmika vAMcuM... paNa keTalA kalAka thaI zake ? eTale mUMjhAtI ke kyAre sAMja paDe ? cAra vAge bALako Ave; teo chasAta vAge Ave. vaLI pAcho ullAsa Ave. muMbaImAM hajI amane bahu paricaya na hato eTale bahAra javAnuM na hoya paraMtu amane bALako sAthe gharamAM paNa AnaMda hato. vaLI koI vAra bIjhIka pAnAM ramIe. koI vAra bhADUAta mitro sAthe besatAM, bALako tyAM ramatAM. gharamAM koInI kaMI rokaToka na hatI eTale kaMI paNa aMtarAya vagara divaso sukhacenamAM pUrA thatA. pU. zrI kAnajIsvAmIno bodha : | muMbaI amArA eka bhAgIdAra, kALIdAsakAkA, sonagaDhanA mahAna saMta zrI kAnajIsvAmInA bhakta hatA. I.sa. 1949nI zarUAtamAM pU. svAmI muMbaI padhAryA hatA. kAkA amane vyAkhyAnamAM laI javA bahu Agraha kare. huM zvetAMbara saMpradAyanA sAdhu-AcAryonA vyAkhyAnanI pradhAnatA dharAvatI. tevA abhyAsathI TevAyelI eTale mane khAsa rUci na thatI. eka vAra najIkamAM vyAkhyAna hatuM. kAkA kahe tame cAlo, pachI anukULa nA paDe to nA Avazo. teo kahe cAlo, emAM kaMI vAMdho nathI. mane dharma kAryamAM khAsa virodha karavAnI Teva nahi, eTale ame gayA. pU. svAmInI vANInI madhuratA, mukha para saMyama-pavitratAno ghaNo prabhAva. temanA pratyenI bhaktithI zrotAjanomAM bhAvavibhoratAnuM vAtAvaraNa. kAkAe amArI beThakanI vyavasthA paNa suMdara rIte karI hatI. pU. svAmIjInuM vyAkhyAna digaMbara zailInuM savizeSa tAttvika hatuM. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-4

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dhyAna daIne sAMbhaLatI hatI, A paddhati ke tAttvika zabdono mahAvaro nahi. tethI khAsa samajAyuM nahi. paraMtu pU. svAmIjInI vANI evI hatI ke zravaNapriya lAgatuM. vAtAvaraNamAM besavuM gamyuM ane sAMbhaLyuM ke "samyagdarzana vagaranAM tapa, japa, pUjA, anuSThAno nirarthaka che. bhale puNya baMdhAya paNa saMsAranuM paribhramaNa samApta na thAya. e puNya paNa pApa che." mArA kAna ekadama camakyA. thoDI vAra pachI punaH bolyA: "kaMI samajANuM? "samyagdarzana vagara badhuM ja vyartha." pUrA vyAkhyAnamAM ATaluM barAbara smaraNamAM rahyuM. paNa e praNAlIthI bilakula ajANa. eTale prathama lAgyuM ke AvuM kaMI hoya? ame to kevA bhAvathI dharma karIe chIe, te kaMI vyartha hoya? AmAM ApaNuM kAma nahi. puNya paNa pApa ? teo to bhadrika jIva. AnaMda Avyo eTaluM karIne khuzamijAjamAM ghare AvyA. ravivAra hato. thoDI vAre e ja vAta pUchuM ke ApaNe dharma karIe chIe te badhuM vyartha evuM kaMI hoya ? samyagdarzana zabda khAsa sAMbhaLyo ke vAMcelo nahi ane kathaMcita zravaNamAM Avyo hoya to lakSya nahi. puNya laIne AvyA cho, puNya karo. ATalo dharma samajAyo hato. ane nizcita mane e badhuM thatuM hatuM. paraMtu have vicAramAM moTo UhApoha jAgyo. jyAre nirAMte besIe, tyAre A ja mAro prazna : "zuM ApaNe karIe chIe, te badhuM vyartha ?' saraLa citte teo kahe : "jo, mane AmAM samaja na paDe, kAkA Ave tyAre pUchaje." betraNa divasa pachI kAkA AvyA. teo kahe, ""Ane bhAre ajaMpo thayo che. tame samajAvo." me kahyuM: "svAmIjI kahetA hatA ke samyagudarzana vinA badhuM vyartha. juo, ame to kevA uttama dravyathI, uttama bhAvathI sevA, sAmAyika, jAtrA vigere karIe chIe. amArA mahArAjajI to kahe che ke sAruM karo cho ! ane pU. svAmI kahe che "badhuM vyartha"! A kaMI samajAtuM nathI." kAkA kahe mahArAjajI tamArI bhUmikAe sAruM kahe paNa siddhAMtathI to pU. svAmI kahe che tema ja che. tamAre vadhu jANavuM hoya to eka paMDitajI che te tamane A badhuM samajAvaze. mane e racyuM. teone kaMI prazna na hato, pUro sahayoga hato. ane bIje divase vibhAga-4 mArI maMgalayAtrA 4

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kAkA paMDita zrI cImanalAla, je digaMbara zAstramAM pAraMgata hatA teone laI AvyA. temane Adarasaha yogya Asana ApI, ame banne sAme beThA. teoe jaina saiddhAMtika pravezikAthI abhyAsa zarU karAvyo. joke te paddhatino abhyAsa karelo nahi eTale prAraMbhamAM kaThaNa lAgyuM. teo sAthe besatA samajaNa na paDe paNa zraddhA rAkhatA. pU. zrI kAnajIsvAmIno alpakAlIna nizrAno yoga : zrI kALIdAsabhAI pAsethI sAMbhaLeluM ke zrI kAnajIsvAmI adhyAtmakSetre mahAna vibhUti che. teoe kevaLa bAhyakriyAmAM ja dharma mAnatA jIvone jAgrata karyA che. teoe sthAnakavAsI samAjamAM dIkSA lIdhelI. paraMtu zrImad rAjacaMdranI zrI Atmasiddhi, apUrvaavasara jevA gUDhArthavALAM padothI khUba prabhAvita thayA. svayaM medhAvI, sUkSmadaSTivALA, tattvaciMtaka to hatA ja. temAM vaLI digaMbara AmnAyano samayasArajI graMthano abhyAsa karatAM temanI AMtarika avasthA palaTAI gaI. teo saMpradAyanA kocalAmAM rahI na zakyA. teono jagatamAM jIvo sAthe eka ja paDakAra hato. "tArA trikALI dhruva paramazuddhAtmAne jANa, teno bodha pAma, te pratye dRSTi laI jA. A saghaLI bahAranI kaDAkUTa mUke. tuM bahAramAM kaMI karI zakto nathI. puNyapApanA bhAva paNa tArA nathI. tuM to kevaLa zuddhAtmA ja chuM. nizcayanayanI dravyadRSTinI mukhyatAthI teo upadeza ApatA. samyagdarzana mATe teo atyaMta bhAra ApatA. te sivAya karelA badhA tapAdi vyartha che." joke mane AmAM kaMI samajAtuM nahi chatAM temanI vANInI mIThAza, vyAkhyAnanI tejasvitA, temanI pavitratA mane sparzI gaI. AthI eka vAra kAkA sAthe ame sonagaDha betraNa divasa mATe gayAM. amane pU.zrIe be divasa thoDo samaya ApI svabhAvadharmano bodha Apyo. mane tyAre khUba ja bhAvanA UThI hatI ke pU.zrIno bodha sAco che. teo bhadrika hatA tethI prasanna thaI gayA pU.zrI kahe : "bAI kuzaLa che, eTale mArga pakaDI leze. bhAI bhadrika che eTale mArga pakaDI leze. baMne jIvo rUDA che." vaLI kAkA sAthe vicAra karI ame tyAM be oraDA rakhAvyA. jethI thoDA divase rahevA AvI zakAya. muMbaI AvI paMDitanI pAse abhyAsa cAlu karyo tyAra pachI saMyogo badalAI gayA. vaLI kAkA bhAgIdArIthI chUTA thayA. teono saMparka ocho thayo. ema A yoga tyAM ja aTakI gayo. yadyapi mane pU.zrI pratye AdarabhAva to rahyo ja che. mArI maMgalayAtrA 95 vibhAga-4

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pU.zrIno bodha sAMbhaLyA pachI ame muMbaI AvyAM. mArA manamAM bodhano raNakAra guMjato hato. meM teone kahyuM ke tamane sahelAIthI dhanaprAptinI vRddhi thAya che tema bhautika sukhasAmagrI vadhe che. ane pU.zrI to kahetA ke jyAM sudhI bhautika sukhano rAga na chUTe tyAM sudhI sabhyodha na thAya. mATe have kaMI maryAdA karavI joIe. vaLI A rIte sahelAIthI maLatAM nANAMthI ApaNI bhautikatA keTalI vadhI che. joke kAkA paNa teonI sAthe bhAgIdArImAM ja hatA. teo A vAta sAMbhaLIne vicAra karatA thayA hatA. tyAM to AkhI paristhiti ja badalAI gaI. hAla temanuM sAhitya ane pravacano paNa vAMcuM chuM. temAM yathAzakti grahaNa karuM chuM. paraMtu kevaLa dravyadRSTinI mukhyatA ane AcAranI gauNatA e mArA bhAvamAM besatuM nathI tethI vizeSa paricaya rAkhyo nathI. vaLI e kSetre sAdhusaMtono samAgama paNa na maLe. Ama e kSetra chUTI gayuM. joke abhyAsa dvArA dravyadRSTinI samaja to keLavI che. hAla mane zrI gokuLabhAInuM mArgadarzana maLI rahe che. ane samajAyuM paNa che ke tattvadRSTi, dravyadRSTi, ke svarUpalakSa vagara samva sAdhya nathI to mukti to kyAMthI maLe ? AthI temanA bodhathI mane samyak prAptinI jhaMkhanA lAgI, te pU.zrInuM RNa che. nizcaya rAkhI lakSyamAM je Adare vyavahAro jI te puNyavaMta pAmaze, bhavathI pAro jI. upAdhyAya zrI yazovijayajI have to pU. upAdhyAyajInA jJAnasAra jevA graMtho vAMcI, pU. svAmIjInI vAta apekSAe samajAI che ke nizcayadRSTi vagara vyavahAradharmanuM mUlya nathI. paraMtu je vyavahAramAM niSNAta thayo nathI ane nizcayane jANavAne icche che eTale ke jeNe vyavahAranayathI banAvelI kriyAo jIvanamAM AcarIne pacAvI nathI ane nizcayanaya mujabanI AtmAmAM lIna banavAnI vAtane apanAve che, te taLAvamAM taravAne asamartha hovA chatAM sAgarane taravAnI icchA karanAra jevo mahAmUrkha che. pahelAM vyavahAranayane jIvanamAM pacAvo, tenuM pAcana e ja nizcayanayamAM lIna banavAnI bhUmikA che. mahopAdhyAya pU. zrI yazovijayajI vibhAga-4 96 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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14 varSa 26 varSa 28 varSa

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11vyanI viSama durghaTanA vayamaryAdA-28 * 1949mAM ogaSTanI 19mIe kALanI phALa * sukha saMpannatA cAra divasanA cAMdaraNA jevI thaI pariNAme vaidhavyanI viSama durghaTanA huM svayaM sarvasthAnathI bAkAta thaI, bALakonI paNa dIna dazA * mananI asara tana para paDI - lamIbA hatA paNa lakSmIjIe paga karyA * nirmaLAbahena-bharatabhAI sAthe karmagraMthano abhyAsa * zrI paramAnaMdabhAIno paricaya zrI je. kRSNamUrtinuM dUrathI darzana * prajJAcakSu pU. paMDitanI sukhalAlajI mAre AMgaNe * saMta kedAranAthajIno samAgama * lakSmIbAe hAIkorTanA daravAjA batAvyA "nA mArA tana rUpa kAMti yuvati, nA putra ke bhrAta nA nA mArA bhUta snehIo svajana ke, nA gotra ke jJAta nA nA mArA dhana dhAma yavana dharA, e, moha ajJatvanA re re jIva vicAra emaja sado anyatvadI bhAvanA.'', I pika / To zrImada rAjacaMdra ''sukhadu:kha sarajayA jANI re Apada saMpada hoya, lIlA dekhI parataNI karI roja ma dharajo koI re prANI, mana nA ANo vikhavAda Ato karmataNo prasAdare."

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pAThazALA (mukhapatra) teozrInI pharatA phonanI jema pharatI pAThazALA che. temAM savizeSa uttama pAtrone zAstromAMthI zodhIne pAThazALAne pAne caDhAve che. te ghaNA preraka hoya che. tevuM eka pAtra ujamaphaI. bhAvanagaranA garbhazrImaMtanI dIkarI ujama, lagna levAyA. pitAe kariyAvaramAM aDhaLaka sAmagrI ApavA taiyAra karI. paNa A ujamano temAM kaMI pratisAda nahi ! pitAne lAgyuM kaMI ochuM paDayuM che ? ujama kahe 'nA mAre to girirAja para prabhumaMdira joIe.' ane ApaNe navaTuMkamAM darzana karIe chIe te 'ujamaphoInI TUMka'nuM nirmANa thayuM. samaya thatAM ujamanA lagna thayA tyArapachI bhAI sAthe ujama pAlItANA navANu karavA gayA. amadAvAda pati akALe avasAna pAmyA. pAlItANA khabara AvyA. bhAIe amadAvAda javAnI taiyArI karI. ujamaphoI kahe 'bhAI banyuM te pharanAra nathI ApaNe bhagavAnanI bhakti choDIne zuM pAmazuM ? mATe amadAvAda javuM nathI." tyAra pachI krama pramANe navvANu yAtrA pUrI karI ujama phoI samatAbhAve amadAvAda pahoMcyA. aMdarano AtmA jAgI gayo hato. vairAgyanA vaheNa vahetA hatA. pachI pUrI jIMdagI ujama phoIe AtmArAdhanAmAM gALI. o saMjJA tyajI lokasaMjJA tyajI yogadaSTi pAmyA. nAma amara banyuM. girirAja sAthe ujamaphoInI TUMka raheze. sau jIvo A preraNA pAmIne dhanya banIe, vaidhavyanA duHkhano kaDavo ghUMTaDo bhaktinA amRtamAM parivartita karI Atmadharma mANyo. - pU. A. zrI pradyumnasUrijI

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karmanI gati nyArI che ? 1947thI ame muMbaI sthAyI thayA hatA. paraMtu ame divALI muMbaI karatA, ane zrI paryuSaNa amadAvAda karatA hatA. kAraNa ke poLamAM amArA vaDIla sthApita upAzraya hato, tethI svapnadarzananA caDhAvA vigere utsavamAM amane ullAsa raheto. AthI ame 16mI ogasTanA roja nIkaLIne amadAvAda javAnI saghaLI taiyArI karI lIdhI hatI. vaLI tapa vigere karavAmAM paNa amadAvAda sArA bhAva thatA. muMbaImAM 1949nI sAla, AjhAdIne be varSa pUrAM thayAM hatAM. bhAratamAM 15mI ogasTa UjavAI. ame paNa makAnane lAITa ane dhvajathI zaNagAryuM. paryuSaNanI ArAdhanA mATe amadAvAda javA 16mIe taiyArI karI, paNa te sAMje teone tAva caDhyo. DaoNkTaranI salAha mujaba rokAI gayAM. tAva to vadhato gayo. te vakhate phalu ke hAI phIvara bhAratamAM navo phelAyo hato. tenI yogya davA zodhAya te pahelAM ghaNAM bharakhAI gayAM. teone evo hAIphIvara ke koI davA iMjekzana lAgu na paDe. tyAre te vakhate hAI Dojha kloromAIseTIna davA zodhAyelI. te paNa maLe nahi. kyAMkathI rU. 300nI eka evI thoDI goLIo maLI. tA. 17mIe A davA zarU karI, kadAca tenI pratikriyA na thAya tevuM iMjekzana ApavuM joIe te game te kAraNe ApeluM nahi. be goLIothI tAva to 18mIe saDasaDATa UtarI gayo paNa hRdayane toDato gayo. hArTa para evI asara thaI ke teoe bhAna gumAvI dIdhuM. ardhI rAtre DaoN. kohIyAra AvyA. teo paNa bhAre ciMtAmAM paDyA. be kalAka beThA, upAya karyA paNa vyartha. DaoNkTara savAre nirAza vadane vidAya thayA. 1949nI 19 oNgasTanI savAre karALa kALanI phALa : oNgasTa 19mInI savAra, Ama to teonI bebhAna jevI sthiti. savAre cha vAgyA haze. huM pAse beThI hatI. narsa paNa hatI. tyAre teo hAtha ekabIjA para pheravavAnI ceSTA kare. pUchavAthI koI javAba na maLe. mane evuM lAgyuM ke sAmAyikano A samaya che. aMtaramAM paDelA koI saMskArathI A muhapattInI ceSTA thatI haze ? pachI bhAna sAva osaratuM gayuM. punaH DaoNkTara AvyA. upAya karyA. paNa badhuM vyartha. lagabhaga 12 vAge Ame kALano samaya. kALa tyAM ja pharato hato. chellA zvAsa zarU thayA. mArI samajamAM e bhayaMkara sthitino khyAla ja na mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-5

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Avyo ke A zuM thaI rahyuM che ? koIe tyAMthI uThADI dUra besADI. eka vaDIla AvyA temaNe navakAra saMbhaLAvyA. mane ATalI gaMbhIratAno khyAla nahi. bALakone zALAe mokalyAM hatAM, temane bolAvI lIdhAM. bapore 1-30 lagabhaga teonA AtmAe A pArthiva deha, vahAlo parivAra, ghaNA aramAne sajAvelAM gharabAra, vahAlA saMtAno, patnI, jemanuM tema tyajIne ciravidAya lIdhI. jANe ke enI sAthe have koI saMbaMdha nathI. mArA mATe A rIte bhAInI vidAya pachI najIkathI mRtyuno prasaMga prathama hato. khUba kSobha pAmIne mRtyuzayyA pAse beThI hatI. koI vaDIle mane uThADI tyAre paNa mane hajI vAstavikatAnuM bhAna na hoya tema UThI. vaLI ekAeka UbhI thaI, mRtyuzayyA pAse javA lAgI ane vaDIle mane pAchI vALI. premathI besADI ane mAro azruno dhodha tUTI paDyo. bhUpendra dasa varSano, dakSA pAMca varSanI. zALAethI AvyA. pAse beThAM. banne khUba mUMjhAI gayAM. huM eTalI kSobha pAmI gaI ke bALakone khoLAmAM besADI khUba raDI. vaidhavyanI viSaya durghaTanA H mAruM mana eka ja vAtanuM raTaNa karatuM hatuM. bhagavAna ! A tame zuM karyuM ! tamArI pAse bIjuM kaMI ApavA jevuM du:kha na hatuM ? daridratA ApavI hatI. jhUMpaDI ApavI hatI. mane mRtyu ApavuM hatuM. paNa bhagavAna, A viyoga ati asahya che. tamArI dayA kyAM gaI ? A bALako to keTalAM vahAlAM, je mAMge te hAjara thatuM. have A badhuM koNa ka2ze ? kudaratamAM koI saMketa hoya che. teo chellA cha mAsathI oNphise jAya. vaLI vacamAM phona karIne mArI, bALakonI pRcchA kare H zuM karo cho ! bahAragAma javAnuM TALe. vaLI gha2mAM ame ane bALako eTale je kaMI dinacaryA thatI te sAthe ja thatI. savAre pharavA javuM, AvIne sAmAyika pUjA karavI, bALako sAthe jamavuM, sAMje Ave tyArathI rAtrino krama tadana nikaTavartI raheto. kudaratane zuM A maMjUra nahotuM ? zuM doSa hato ke AMkhanI palakamAM badhuM chinnabhinna thayuM, jANe eka svapna pUruM thayuM ? Aje dharmanI sahAya ane samaja pedA thaI che eTale svastha citte lakhI zakuM chuM. bAkI to Abha tUTI paDe te paNa mane ochuM lAgyuM ! koI AkAzamAMthI pheMkI de ane eke aMga sAjuM na rahe tevI mArI dazA. eka vakhatanI khamA khamA thatI, kSaNa mAtramAM bicArI thaI gaI ! khUba umaLakAthI vibhAga-5 100 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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sajAveluM ghara smazAna thaI gayuM. premathI nItaratuM jIvana ja maraNa jevuM thaI gayuM. bhagavAnane dayA na AvI paNa teone paNa dayA na AvI ? eka divasano sahavAsa choDavAnuM jene gamatuM na hatuM. tene kAyama choDavAnuM kema gamyuM ? bALakono paNa vicAra na Avyo. AvI mathAmaNa cAlatI. sagAM-svajano mAre rudana joIne kahetAM ke e jIvane paNa A badhuM choDavuM kema gamyuM haze ? paNa maraNa AgaLa sau azaraNa che. mArA mananuM samAdhAna kemeya thatuM na hatuM. vaDIlo, nokaro, sau mArI dazA joI mUMjhAI jatA. vaLI mana mRtyunI vAstavikatA svIkAravA taiyAra na thatuM. eTale UbhI thaI mRtyuzayyA pAse javA prayatna karatI, tyAre vaDIlo bAjue besADatA ane premathI samajAvatA. Ama have kalAkono ja hisAba hato. eka bAju saMsAranA khela pramANe badhI vyavasthA thaI. caMpAbAnuM avasAna thayuM tyAre kaMI samajAyuM na hatuM ke sagAMo ja AvI rIte laI jAya ! e divase prazna evo thayo ke A badhAMne kharekhara kaMI dayA-mAyA jevuM nathI. Aje e samajAya che ke saMsAranuM svarUpa lobhAmaNuM bhale ho paNa bhAre bihAmaNuM che. zrIkRSNa jevAne paNa kALe bhara jaMgalamAM ekAkI upADI lIdhA hatA. saMsAramAM janmamaraNa nakkI che paNa kharAM ane nakkI nathI paNa. janma che to maraNa nakkI che paNa jyAre te nakkI hovA chatAM ApaNe jANatA nathI. maraNa pachI karma pramANe janma che paNa jyAM te jANatA nathI. kudaratano A niyama abAdhita che chatAM mAnava nizcita thaIne jIvI zake che. mRtyunI bhayaMkaratA paNa kSaNika nIvaDe che. joke huM to AvI kSaNikatA svIkAravA varSo sudhI taiyAra na hatI. tevA bodhanuM mAruM gajuM paNa na hatuM. mana eka ja pokAra karatuM. mane zA mATe AvuM duHkha have kema jIvI zakAya! mAnavano deha cetana-rahita zaba manAya che, tene javA devuM gamatuM nathI ane rakhAtuM nathI. eTale jJAnIo kahe che, chevaTe deha agni saMskArane yogya che. vyavahArika vyavasthA saue saMbhALI, je karavuM paDe te saue karyuM. tema karyA vagara chUTako na hato. prasaMgane AdhIna vidhio karavAnI hatI te thaI. teonI vasamI vidAya pachI snAna mATe mane laI gayA. e vakhate duHkhanA AvegamAM mane ema thayuM ke have A alaMkAra vigere konA mATe ? ane sarve dAgInA mArI maMgalayAtrA 101 vibhAga-5

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utA2Ine mUkI dIdhA. sADI sapheda paheravAnI zarU karI. agnisaMskAranI vidhi patAvI sagAM-svajano vIle moDhe ghare AvyAM temanI sAthe atyaMta kalpAMta, rudana, AkraMda, sivAya mArI pAse kAMI na hatuM. e vaDIla kAkAne meM kahyuM, 'kAkA, tame A badhAMnI sAthe bhaLI gayA ? ane teone pAchA na lAvyA ?'' paNa koIno kAMI upAya na hato. AvI karuNatAno A to prAraMbha hato. hajI ghaNuM vItavAnuM bAkI hatuM. mAruM rudana evuM karuNa hatuM ke mArAM bALako paNa mArI pAse AvatAM mUMjhAI jatAM. dakSA kahetI : pappAne bhagavAna kyAre mokalaze ? javAbamAM mArI pAse AMsu hatAM. bhoLI dIkarI mArAM AMsu lUchatI. bIje divase meM lUkhuM sUkuM khAvAnuM zarU karyuM. dharmapravRttimAM ekalavAyApaNuM lAgavAthI mana lAgatuM na hatuM. mArI AvI hAlatamAM sagAMo paNa mUMjhAI gayAM teo paNa keTaluM rahI zake ? saune potAnI javAbadArI hoya. samaya thatAM sau vidAya thayAM. huM sarva sthAnethI svayaM bAkAta thaI gaI, sAthe bALakonI dIna dazA : dharmanA ane sAMsArika vyavahAronA prasaMgomAMthI jANe huM jAte ja bAkAta thaI gaI. eTale sonagaDha ane pU. svAmInI nizrA paNa mAre mATe svapna banI gayuM. yoga-saMyoganI paNa kevI vicitratA hoya che ? paMdara divasa pachI huM ane bALako rahyA. eka varasa lagabhaga gharanI bahAra na nIkaLI. Ane kAraNe bALakone bhAre anyAya thayo. joke te vakhate du:khagrasta vairAgyanI dhUnamAM vicAra Avyo na hato. paNa bALako moTAM thayAM. carcA karatAM tyAre e vAta samajAI ke mArA potAnA viyoganA duHkhanA kAraNe meM je tyAga-vairAgyanI paddhati svIkArI temAM bALakone moTo anyAya thayo hato. kAraNa ke bALakone pitA ane mAtA baMnenuM vAtsalya maLavuM jarUrI hatuM. ane mAre ja te ApavAnuM hatuM. paNa gayo vakhata kAMI pAcho Avato nathI. e sarve bhAvibhAva. mArA mATe sinemA, nATaka, pradarzana, lagna jevAM sthAnomAM javAnuM na banyuM. yAtrAe javAnuM na banyuM. mAruM mana evuM kaThora thaI gayuM ke mane zA mATe AvuM duHkha ! have mAre koI sukha ja nA joIe. eTale bALakone paNa A badhuM zoSavuM paDyuM. patinA mohathI e duHkhagarbhita vairAgya ke tyAga kAMI sAcA sukhanI jhaMkhanAnAM na hatAM. chatAM prabaLa mohanA virahamAM te TakayA. punaH bhautika sukhano koI vikalpa kyAre paNa UThayo nahi. ane zIlAdi sArI rIte vibhAga-5 102 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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sacavAyAM. ekAda varasa pachI kaMI khyAla AvatAM bALakone anyanI sobata karI ApI lagna jevA prasaMgamAM ke anya sthaLoe mokalatI ane saMtoSa letI. paNa e thIgaDA mAravA jevuM hatuM. mArI UNapa to kharI ja. khUba suMdara sajAvaTavALI mammIne badale tadana garIba ke sAdhvI jevI sapheda khAdInAM jADAM vastromAM alaMkArahIna jevI mammIne joIne temanA kumaLA mana para kaMI asara pedA thaI haze te tyAre to mArA zokagrasta manamAM kaMI vicAra pedA na thato, ane mAro upAya paNa na hato. mana du:khagarbhita vairAgyathI bharAI gayuM hatuM. temAM koI vicArane avakAza na hato. hA, bALakone jema rahetA tema rAkhavAmAM kAMI agavaDa na hatI. paNa mAruM mana sAva sUkA raNa jevuM zuSka banI gayuM hatuM. mANaso javAthI ghara paNa sUnakAra thaI gayuM. svajana, mitro, mANaso eka pachI eka vidAya thayA hatA. tithi pramANe A divaso zrI paryuSaNanA hatA. zrAvaNa vada dasamanA divase teoe deha tyajI dIdho. bArasathI paryuSaNa hatA. zoka, virahAgnie mane evI gherI lIdhI ke mane e paNa bhAna na rahyuM ke A parvAdhirAja paryuSaNa karmanAza thavA mATe che. ane huM to ArtadhyAnathI karmane bAMdhuM chuM. mArI AvI avadazA joIne koI mane e vAta samajAvavAnI hiMmata karatuM nahi. mane e paNa smaraNamAM AvatuM nahi ke ame to ArAdhanA karavAnA hatA. bhale duHkha che paNa bhakti-vAMcana to karI zakAyane ? mohathI mUMjhAyelI huM bhagavAnane badale teonA phoTA pAse kalAko sudhI besI rahetI. Ama divaso to pasAra thatA hatA. mAtra sAta divasa pahelAM lAgatuM hatuM ke sukhanA zikhare chuM. ane jANe vAdaLAM vIkharAya tema saghaLuM vIkharAI gayuM. karmanI vicitratAnI gahanatA jANavAnuM mAnavanuM zuM gajuM ? paMcara paDelI gADI gerejamAM dhakkAthI pahoMce tema jIvana karmanA dhakke jivAtuM thayuM. mAre mATe eka miniTa eka varasa jevI banI gaI. na devadarzana jevA sthAne javuM, na koI mitrane tyAM javuM, na vyavahArika prasaMgamAM javuM, na mAnavasevAnA kAme javuM. darekane mAro eka ja javAba hato : "huM ekalI kyAMya nahi AvuM." A koI upAya na hato. jIvana eka boja banI gayuM. mitro, svajano mATe mAruM jIvana karaNAmaya thaI gayuM. je ghaDI ke divasa pahelAM mArI maMgalayAtrA 103 vibhAga-5

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ati sukhamaya gaNAtuM hatuM, te ja jIvana kALajAne korI khAvA lAgyuM. dharmasthAno paNa teonA vagara rasahIna thaI gayAM. Aje samajAya che ke mohanIya karmanuM kevuM vicitra sAmrAjya che. divasa jema tema pasAra thato. rAta to vaLI moTI samasyA banI gaI. sUvAno oraDo, sAdhano badalAyAM ane sahavAsa vagara nidrA paNa risANI. bhAgye ja ekAda kalAka jarAka jholA jevuM AvatuM. ema thaI AvatuM ke AvuM vyartha jIvana jIvavA karatAM jIvanane samApta karI dauM ! AvI nirAzAmAM divaso nathI jatA, to varSo kema jaze ! ane A jIvana jIvavAno hetu zo ! dharmanI AMzika sevelI bhAvanA to kyAMya gAyaba thaI gaI ! jANe kaMI karyuM ja nathI. manamAM bALaceSTA jevA taraMgo UThatA ke teone zodhavA jaMgalamAM cAlI jAuM ! bhagavAnane kahuM ahIM rahIzuM paNa te teone pAchA mokalI de ! kyAreka mana tadana khoTI AzA sevatuM ""Avaze", ""pAchA Avaze." A priya bALakone mATe to Avaze ja vaLI sagAMo mane samajAvatAM ke jIvane paNa ze javuM gamyuM haze ? mATe tuM manane anya dharmakAryomAM parovI de. samAjasevAmAM punaH lAgI jA. paNa mArI vicArazakti kuMThita thaI gaI hatI. lakSmIbA to hatAM paNa lakSmIdevIe dhImethI paga karyA? teonI ciravidAyane sAteka divasa thayA ane bhAgIdAro AvyA. teoe bhAgIdArInA dastAveja anvaye kahyuM ke je bhAgIdAranuM avasAna thAya teno bhAga rada thAya che. atula sagIra hato teno bhAga naMkhAya nahi. meM kahyuM : "bhale." vaLI jUnA Teksa bAkI vigere gaNatarI karI, sAmAnya rakamanI cukavaNI karI, pUrI dukAna badho kabajo meLavI mArI sahI karAvI. mAre saMpatti mATe lAMbuM vicAravAnuM na hatuM. - sAMje kAkAne vAta karI, teo kahe ""are ! A bhAgIdAro jemane jagata muMbaI lAvyo tyAre bhUlezvaranI oraDImAM rahetA hatA teo Aje tAlevaMta thayA che. temaNe vaDIla thaIne atulanA hitano vicAra na karyo. teo vaDIla hatA tyAre jagata to nAno hato, tyAre teo vaDIla jevA hatA chatAM rAkhI zakyo. temaNe ja AvuM vartana karyuM. ane mAmUlI rakamathI cUkavI dIdhuM ?" Ama, eka kAma sameTAI gayuM. mane kaMI raMja nahoto. ane khAsa kiMI kuzaLatA na hatI. mana kSobhita hatuM. kAyadesara je hatuM te thayuM. vibhAga-5 104 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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thoDA divasa thayA sArAbhAI, ramaNabhAI badhA bhegA thayA. kabATa joyuM : cAMdInAM vAsaNono Dhagalo, 100 seTa, cAMdInI nahAvAnI kUMDI vigere joI vicAramAM paDyA, teo yuvAna hatA, sAttvika ane sAdAIvALA hatA. vaLI vicAryuM ke sunaMdAne ekaluM rahevAnuM, AvuM jokhama rAkhavuM barAbara nahi. mAre kaMI lAMbo vicAra karavAno na hato. bIje divase mitro badhuM laI cAMdI bajAramAM vAsaNo gaLAvI 1949mAM 300 kilonA 30 hajAra laI AvyA. jokhama gayuM, nirAMta thaI. thoDA divasa thayA eka mitra AvyA ke mAre dhaMdhAmAM khoTa gaI che. tamAre gharamAM jokhama che. huM tamane varasamAM ApI daIza. mAre to lAMbo vicAra karavAno na hato. mitra sajajana hatA trIsa hajAra rokaDA ApyA. pachI zuM thayuM te samajI jajo. lakSmIjIe sthAna badalyuM ! vaLI mitroe seIphamAMthI dAgInA joyA e paNa ghaNuM hatuM. mane kaMI evo vicAra karavAnI zakti na hatI ke bALako moTAM thaze. temane kAma lAgaze. te mitronA kahevAthI thoDAka dAgInA kADhI nAMkhyA. cAlIsa hajAra AvyA. thoDA divasa pachI teonA lokhaMDanA vyApArI mitra AvyA. "juo, bhAgIdAroe to atulanuM hita nA joyuM. huM navI kaMpanI karuM chuM temAM bhAga rAkhIza. tame A rakama hamaNAM Apo te tamane pAchI maLaze." jUnA mitra hatA. meM e rakama ApI. pachI kaMpanI to karI ja nahi. vaLI mAMDa mAMDa thoDI rakama pAchI ApI. chelle mUMjhAIne makAna paNa sastAmAM vecyuM. jenA eka blaoNkanI kiMmata eka lAkha thAya te pUrA sAta blokanuM makAna aDhI lAkhamAM vecyuM. pAghaDI levI na hatI. tyAM eka mitra AvyA. meM phekaTarI karI che. temAM zera lo, pachI atula moTo thaze eTale DirekaTara banAvaze. emAM aDhI lAkha ApyA. kaMpanI cAlI nahi. hAjara hatA temaNe potAnI rakamo laI lIdhI. ane A lakSmIjI to paga karI gayAM. AmAM mArI aNaAvaData ane leNadeNa.... kathAnA prasaMgo jevuM lAge che ne ? mitro sAttvika, nisvArthI ane sarjana hatA. huM ekalI, yuvAna, vaLI zuSka jIvana eTale keTalIka mitrapatnIone bahu AvavuM, maLavuM rucatuM nahi. ema ghaNAno saMparka chUTI gayo. paNa te sArA mATe thayuM. kAraNa ke pachI sAttvika mitrono saMparka maLato rahyo. prAraMbhamAM huM to gharanI bahAra ja nIkaLatI nahi. mArI maMgalayAtrA 105 vibhAga-5

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meM sinemA, nATaka, pradarzana, lagna jevA prasaMgo, are yAtrAnAM sthaLo, upAzrayo sarva sthAnoe javAnuM choDI dIdhuM hatuM. kyAMya ekalI gayelI nahi tethI kSobha thato hato. ekAda varasa pachI mane bALako mATe khyAla Avyo tethI temane laI sAMje dariyAkinAre jAuM, vaLI koI sthaLe temanA mitro sAthe laI jAuM. paNa te thIgaDAM mAravA jevuM. temanI ruci pramANe anya jarUriyAta pUrI thatI hatI. temanA pappAnI jema vipula sAmagrIo lAvI zakatI nahi. Ame karakasaranI prakRti, temAM gAMdhIjInA AdarzanI asara svIkArelI. zrama ane sAdAI, te vaLI sArA mATe che evA vicAra eTale bALakone paNa e paddhatie uchera karavAno prayatna karatI. dakSAne hajI khAsa samaja na hatI te goThavAI gaI. atula bALapaNathI pappAnA zokha ane paddhatithI Ucharyo hato. tene koI vAra kaMI levA javAnI icchA thatI. te vaLI samayocita pUrI thatI. thoDA divasa thayA, amArA cArTarDa ekAunTanTa vImA kaMpanInA mANasone laIne AvyA. teono eka lAkhanI rakamano vImo mArA nAme caDhAvelo hato. te rakama mAre sahI karIne levAnI hatI. meM kahyuM: are! teonA mRtyu nimitte mAre dhana levAnuM che? mAre te joItuM nathI." cArTarDa ekAunTanTa kahe : bahena, A to kAyadAnI paddhati che. temAM mAre sahI karavAnI vidhi karavI pharajiyAta che. Ama teoe mane paMdara miniTa samajAvI. meM AMkhamAM azru sAthe sahI karI ceka lIdho, te vakhate mArA hAthamAM kaMpa thayo, sAthe manamAM eka saddavicAra jhabakyo ke A rakama sAMsArika kAmamAM nahi vAparuM, paNa tenAthI satkArya karIza. samaya pramANe te rakama satkAryamAM vaparAI hatI. A vicAranI pAchaLa mane lAgyuM ke teonI ja koI sAttvikatAe baLa ApyuM haze. rasoiyA mahArAjanI bhAInI hAlapa : savAre mahArAja mArI Teva mujaba dUdha-nAsto lAve. huM te haDaselI mUkuM ane raDIne mahArAjane kahyuM ""teone gamatuM tevuM kaMI paNa mArI pAse lAvavuM nahi." bapore jamavAnuM lAve, mAro A ja kakaLATa : "bhAIne gamatI koI cIja karavAnI nahi, mane ApavAnI nahi." eka vAra kArelAnuM zAka lAvyo. te bahu suMdara banAvato. teo zokhathI khAtA. meM e zAkavALI thALI pAchI ApI. vibhAga-5 mArI maMgalayAtrA 1ne

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mahArAja kahe, bhAbhI, bhAI to khIcaDI-chAzathI mAMDIne badhuM ja premathI jamatA, mane jamADatA paNa AnaMda thato. paNa mAruM mana mohanA zokathI eTaluM badhuM prasAyeluM hatuM ke mane samAdhAna thatuM nahi. bALakane paNa jamavA pAse besADI zakatI nahi. mahArAja bALakone jamADI leto. ekAda varasamAM bIjuM ghaNuM banI gayuM. jemAM teo jamavAmAM zokhIna hatA, tema mahArAja roja navI navI vAnagIo banAvavAmAM utsAhita. mArI jamavA pratyenI ati udAsInatAthI mUMjhAIne eka divasa jatA rahyA. jatAM kahe ke huM bIjA zeThanI nokarI nahi karuM, paNa mane ahIM gamatuM nathI. teNe rojI mATe anya vyavasAya zodhI kADhyo. mane thayuM te kevo ghara choDIne jaI zakyo, huM na game to paNa gharamAM rahuM chuM ! pachI jUno DrAIvara dezamAM gayo tyAM koIe adAvatathI mArI nAkhyo. bAIne tenA dezamAM kAma maLI gayuM. Ama badhA jatA rahyA. meM te saunA vagara calAvavA mAMDyuM. pAMcacha nokarane badale eka gharaghATI ane eka chUTaka nokarathI navyuM. kAraNa have kAma paNa zuM hoya ! bALakonI zALA najIka hatI. mANasa mUkI Avato. Ama vaibhavI kuTuMbamAM eka oTa AvI. badhI sAmagrI to hatI, paNa teno have lagAva na rahyo ! je thAya te ThIka thAya che. koI divasa rasoI karelI nahi, pUrI AvaData nahi. prAraMbhamAM bAInI madadathI rasoI karatI. pachI bAI gaI. huM to jANe du:khanA medAne paDI hatI. bIjI bAI na rAkhI. mAre vAstavikatAnI dharatI para javAnuM hatuM : thoDAM sagAM-svajano AvelAM vidAya thayAM. mAruM mana duHkhagarbhita tyAga ane vairAgya tarapha javA lAgyuM. Ama to te ja divase hIrAnA, sonAnA dAgInA kImatI vastrAlaMkAra zarIra parathI kAyama mATe to kADhI ja nAMkhyA hatA. lUkhe sUkuM khAvuM. kyAMya bahAra javuM nahi. gharamAM dila lAgatuM nahi. bALakone gamatuM karI ApavA prayatna karatI paNa pahelAM jevuM to nahi. mAre have vAstavikatAo vicAravAnI hatI. teonA avasAna pachI mAre amadAvAda rahevA javuM tevuM sagAMonuM maMtavya. sAsarAmAM Ama to sagAMmAM be baheno, temanA pati ane sAsu sivAya to badhAM pitarAI sagAM hatAM. e badhAM bhegAM maLI eka ja sUra para AvelAM, mAre amadAvAda javuM joIe. mArI nAnI vaya, yuvAnI, aDhaLaka saMpatti saMbhALIne rahevuM joIe. te mATe amadAvAda rahevuM yogya che. kema jANe huM saddyAritramAM mArI maMgalayAtrA 107 vibhAga-5

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TakI zakIza ke nahi. AvA kaMI tukkAo sagAMo lagAvatA. vaLI teo ekAeka avasAna pAmyA eTale vIla jevuM kaMI nahi. eTale saune thAya ke amane kaMI maLavuM joIe. AthI saue khoTuM lagADIne muMbaI AvI sahAnubhUtithI sAthe rahI khAsa sAtha na Apyo. evuM lagatuM. muMbaImAM teonA vakhatanA amaracaMdakAkA vaDIla jemano niHsvArtha saMbaMdha lagabhaga traNa peDhIno hato. teo kahetA huM jIvuM tyAM sudhI tane amadAvAda javA na dauM. A badhA tane sukhethI jIvavA nahIM de. tAruM zuM ne badale amAruM zuM ? temAM tuM kevI rIte jIvIza ? te samayanA saMgharSo zamAvatA mArA manane ane mArAM svajanone ghaNI takalIpha paDI. vaLI eTalAM AMsu sAryA hatAM ke have jANe raDavuM AvatuM na hatuM. teonA avasAna pachI alaMkAra to UtaryA paraMtu vastromAM paNa atyaMta sAdAI svIkArI. temAM vaLI gAMdhIjInA AMdolananI asara ane temAM sUryakAMta parIkha jevA mitronA saMparke khAdI paheravAnuM zarU karyuM. zarUAtamAM traNeka joDa kapaDAM kharIdyAM pachI to sUryakAMte hAtha-reMTiyo Apyo eTale kAMtavAnuM zarU karyuM. temAM vaLI vicAra thayo ke jeTaluM kaMtAya teTalAM ja vastro rAkhavAM. hAtha-reTiyAmAM be ja joDa kapaDAM thAya teTaluM kiMtAtuM hatuM. e pramANe sAteka varSa cAlyuM khAssAM jADAM kapaDAM thatAM. e paherIne sagAMone maLavAnuM thatuM teoe agAu mane adyatana prakAre vastrAlaMkAramAM joyelI tethI duHkhI thatA. huM kahetI meM to A Adarza lIdho che, teno mane AnaMda che. lagna jevA prasaMge jatI ja nahi. huM kahetI ke tamArI bahena sAdhvI hoya to zuM karo ! e na Ave to cAlene ! ema tamAre samajavuM. duHkha lagADavuM nahi. zokathI atyaMta gherAI gayelI, jyAM sudhI AMtarika samaja pedA na thAya tyAM sudhI bahAranA AzvAsana zuM kare ? mohano, saMsArasukhano prabhAva Avo ghero hoya te samajavAnuM gajuM paNa nahi. saunI pharaja pramANe sagAMo AvatAM ane vidAya thatAM. amadAvAdanA teonA bALapaNanA mitra ramaNabhAI ane vasubahena rahyAM hatAM, sAttvika ane niHsvArtha bhAvavALAM. mArA duHkhe duHkhI thatAM hatAM teo bALako mUkIne AvyAM hatAM paraMtu mArI dazA joI teo amadAvAda javAnuM uccArI zakatAM na hatAM. chevaTe temanuM javAnuM nakkI thayuM. vibhAga-5 mArI maMgalayAtrA 108

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zrI nirmaLAbahena ane bharatabhAI sAthe abhyAsano yoga : A daMpatI sAttvika ane dharmavRttivALA hatAM. saMsAramAM chatAM alpa AraMbha ane sAdAIthI rahetAM hatAM. AthI dhaMdhArthe vadhu samaya gALatA nahi. vaLI teo paMDitajI rAkhIne karmagraMthano abhyAsa karatAM hatAM. yogAnuyoga ramaNabhAIne vicAra Avyo ke huM temanI sAthe abhyAsa karuM. mane paNa e vAta rica gaI. Ama to huM gharanI bahAra nIkaLatI na hatI. paraMtu ema karatAM ja cha mAsa pUrNa thayA. bharatabhAI ane nirmaLAbahena avAranavAra ghare AvatAM AthI mane temane tyAM javAnA bhAva thayA. meM javAnuM zarU karyuM. pU. paMDitajI pAnAcaMda saraLa svabhAvI ane sAdhujIvana jevA hatA. temanI paddhati bAhyakriyAnI sAthe bhAvazuddhinI vizeSatAvALI hatI. teo kahetA ke pratikramaNa karI kayA pApathI pAchA vaLyA ? pApa zuM che te jANo cho ? vibhAva mAtra pApa che. paramAtmAnI pUjA zA mATe karo cho ? pUjA ka2tAM AtmAno mahimA vicAro cho ? jIvane karmanA baMdhananI khabara nathI to muktino bodha kema thaze ? aMtarazuddhi te mokSano mArga che. tenAM sAdhano samyagdarzanAdi che. anAdikALanAM bAMdhelAM karmo samaya pAktAM udayamAM Ave tyAre jIvane sukhanA rAgamAM vivaza banAve che, duHkhamAM muMjhave che. tethI punaH navAM karma baMdhAya che. pUrvanAM karma udayamAM Ave ja, tyAre jIvane Atmabodha hoya to ja punaH karma na baMdhAya. te mATe A karmagraMthano abhyAsa ka2vAno che. Atamane oLakhyA vagara A saMsArano kSaya zakya nathI. AvA bodhano noTamAM utAro karatI. A jIvanuM mana zokathI grasta hatuM. paMDitajInuM zikSaNa mane khUba upayogI hatuM. karmano hisAba evo spaSTa samajAvatA, paNa mohe ajJAnanuM godarejanuM tALuM evuM mAryuM hatuM ke temano bodha mULa sudhI na pahoMcyo. eTalo samaya, jIvana haLavuM lAgatuM vaLI eka samasyA banI jatuM. kevaLa jyAre ''huM'nA kendrasthAne rahetI tyAre mane lAgatuM A saMsAra kevAM du:khathI bharelo che. ane dharma-anuSThAnamAM besatI tyAre lAgatuM ke A rIte karma khapatA jaze mATe abhyAsa kara. bharatabhAI-nirmaLAbahena tadana kauTuMbika bhAve bhaLyA hatA, sAthe dharmamaitrI paNa sAttvikarUpe vikasatI hatI. atula-dakSAne teo khUba vahAla ApatA. sAMja paDe amArA saune mATe sUkA raNamAM teo mIThI vIraDI jevA hatA. temanI rAha ame traNe mArI maMgalayAtrA 109 vibhAga-5

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AturatAthI jotA. temanI sAthe amArI sAMja AnaMdamAM jatI. ame vaLI abhyAsa viSe carcAvicAraNa karatA. paMDitajIe ApaNane je dizA batAvI che tevI samajathI dharma ka2vo joIe. aMtaramAM saMsAranAM sukhanI ruci che ane bAhyakriyAo karIe to chANa para lIMpaNa jevuM che. mATe ApaNe ahaMkAra ane mamatva tyajavAM joIe. vaLI kaMI Apatti Ave che te karmano hisAba cUkavavA Ave che. tene vadhu azubha tarapha na laI jAva. manane bhagavAnanA mArgabodhathI dRDha karo to azubhakarma haLavuM banaze. mananI asara tana para paDI : pU. paMDitajInA paricayathI haLavAza lAgatI paraMtu mana para duHkhano boja hato. virahAgnithI mana saMtapta hatuM. mananI A dazAnI asara zarIra para paNa paDI. traNacAra mAsamAM lagabhaga 60 pauMDa vajana UtarI gayuM. 150 52thI 90 pauMDa thayuM. eTale bImArIo paNa vadhI. prezara ghaTI jAya. saMgrahaNI thaI. peTamAM kRmi pedA thayA. kiDanImAM kaMI takalIpha thaI. anidrAno roga lAgu paDyo. saune mAruM zarIra, sAdAI, udAsInatA joIne sahAnubhUti thatI. huM kahetI mane have e badhuM gamatuM nathI mATe koIe saMtApa nA karavo ane mane kaMI paheravAno ke khAvAno Agraha na karavo. mane kAme laI jatAM saralAbahena tyAM kAme laI javA AvatAM temaNe joyuM ke mAruM zarIra to ghasAI rahyuM che. vajana 150 parathI UtarI 90 jevuM thaI gayuM hatuM. teo khUba du:khI thayAM. teo khUba premALa ane paropakArI hatAM. mane DaoN. bhaNazALIne tyAM laI gayA. jeone teonI chellI ghaDIe vijhiTa mATe bolAvyA hatA. teo o2DAmAM AvyA ne teoe chello zvAsa mUkayo. ATalo ja temano paricaya. mane tapAsI kahe, "tAro bhAI chuM. huM kahuM tema tAre karavAnuM che. mAre tane maravA devI nathI. bALako mATe paNa tAre jIvavAnuM che." meM kahyuM : tamArI vAta sAcI. paNa mane jIvanamAM kaMI rasa nathI. bALako vahAlAM che. jANuM chuM huM ja mA ane huM ja pitA chuM paNa mAro eka eka divasa pahADa jevo jAya che. jJAnIo jIvananI paLane lAkhanI kahe che jyAre te samaye mArI to avaLI dazA A hatI. khUba raDI. DaoN. sAhebe khUba snehathI samajAvI. auSadha vi. ApyA. phI to nAM ja lIdhI. joke temanI lAgaNI sahita davAthI ThIka thavA lAgyuM. ane kharekhara bALako vibhAga-5 110 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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pratyenA premathI mAre jIvavuM hatuM. tevI jijIviSA kharI. mAre bALakone vAtsalyathI rAkhavAM hatAM. vaLI mAruM mana mAne ke na mAne-mAre vAstaviktA para AvavAnuM hatuM. gha2, bahAra, vyApAra kSetra sarva sthaLe mAre mAthe kArya UbhuM hatuM. - amadAvAdanI peDhI amArA pitarAI jeTha (menejara tarIke) khUba prAmANika ane nItithI saMbhALatA. te teonI jema sAhasathI navo vyApAra na kare eTale khAsa Avaka na thAya. muMbaInA makAnanA bhADA para nabhI jatuM kAraNa ke nokaro ochA thayA. jIvana sAdAIvALuM hatuM. traNa gADImAMthI eka gADI rAkhI. pArTa TAima DrAivara hato. vaLI meM jAte gADI calAvavAnuM zIkhI lIdhuM. A sarva javAbadArI paNa muzkelIvALI hatI. saralAbahenanA sadbhAva ane AgrahathI meM caMdanavADInuM sevAkArya zarU karyuM. duHkha to satIone kevAM paDyAM hatAM temAM mAruM to biMdu jevuM cheH teonI hayAtImAM sADI, kapaDAM, dAgInA, zAkabhAjI ke bALakonI vastuo levA javAnuM temAM paNa ekalA to banyuM ja na hatuM. jarUra pahelAM vastuo gharamAM AvI jatI. have e paNa mArA mATe AkaruM hatuM. beMkamAM koI vAra gaI ja na hatI. eka mitranI sahAyathI te zIkhI lIdhuM to paNa beMkamAM jatAM to jANe kevo gabharATa thato ! saMsAranA vyavahAra paNa gajabanI mAyAjALa jevA che. e badhuM gamatuM nahi paNa karatI thaI. moTara to hatI paNa DrAIvara na hato. basamAM javA to TevAyelI nahi. te paNa banyuM. ekavAra eka vaDIla basa sTenDe maLyA. gaLagaLA thaI gayA. ghaNA varSe sukalakaDI kAyAmAM, tadana sAdAIbharyA paheravezamAM ane te paNa basa ane UbhelI ! temaNe AMsu sAthe mananI vyathA vyakta karI. oha, eka varSamAM AvuM banyuM che ! mane koIne AvuM lAge tenuM duHkha na thatuM. basamAM javAnuM paNa duHkha na thatuM. mAro badho vaLa eka cheDe Avato ke teonI hayAtI nathI. pU. zrI paramAnaMdabhAIno paricaya : bhAvanagaranA te kALanA uttama zrAvaka ane vidvAna kuMvarajI kApaDiyAnA suputra paramAnaMda kApaDiyA svabaLe muMbaImAM Arthika kSetre ThIka, paNa vidvattAnA kSetre agragaNya gaNAtA hatA. muMbaImAM jaina yuvaka saMghamAM teoe varSo sudhI sevAo ApI hatI. Aja sudhI saMghanI pravRtti vikasatI rahI che. mArI maMgalayAtrA 111 vibhAga-5

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mAre tyAM rahetAM mArAM bhatrIjI jayAbahenane kAraNe mane temano paricaya thayo. zrI paramAnaMdabhAI sudhArakavAdI hatA, temanI vidvattAno sudhAraka kSetre ThIka upayoga karatA. temaNe bALadIkSA virodhI kamiTInI sthApanA pU. paM. zrI sukhalAlajInA pramukhapaNA nIce karI hatI. jyAM jyAM evI dIkSAo thatI tyAM teo virodha noMdhavatA. vaLI temaNe jaina samAjamAM sAdhujano dvArA cAlatAM vyAkhyAnone rUDhi paraMparA mAnI vyAkhyAnamALA zarU karI hatI. jemAM vividha prakAranA vyAkhyAtAone bolAvatA ane aneka viSayonAM pravacano goThavatA, je lokabhogya thatAM. vaLI A saMsthA dvArA "prabuddha jIvana" mukhapatra paNa prasiddha thatuM hatuM jemAM teoe sevA ApI hatI. je Aja sudhI astitvamAM che. te uparAMta A saMsthA dvArA anekavidha pravRttio vikasatI rahI che. teonI najara haMmezAM muMbaI nagaramAM padhAratA vidvajano tarapha rahetI. teone AdarapUrvaka maLavuM, carcA-vicAraNA karavI, vidvAnonAM pravacano goThavavAM. A temano vyavasAya kaho ke vyasana kaho paNa temAM cUkatA nahi. vaLI vidvatajano paramAnaMdabhAIno Adara rAkhatA. apekSAe temaNe jaina samAjanI ghaNI sevAo karI che. zrI je. kRSNamUrtinuM dUrathI darzana-zravaNa : pU. paramAnaMdabhAI sudhArakavAdI vidvAna hatA. paraMparAgata cAlatA pravAhamAM na hatA. teone vidvAnono bahoLo saMparka hato. eka vAra mane temanI sAthe zrI je. kRSNamUrtinA pravacanamAM laI gayA. meM kahyuM ke mane aMgrejI eka zabda paNa nahi samajAya. chatAM kahe : cAlo AnaMda thaze. koI haoNlamAM pravacana hatuM. sau prathama mane e gamyuM ke vaktAnA AvatA pahelAM zistabaddha beThaka, soya paDe ne saMbhaLAya tevI zAMti, saunA manamAM vaktA pratyeno A Adara hato. seMkaDo varSo thayAM. ApaNe upAzrayamAM AvuM kema karI zakatA nathI? ApaNe kadAca ghoMghATane umaMga ke utsava mAnatA hoIzuM? A vAtAvaraNamAM mane lAgyuM ke saMtapta mana paNa zAMta thaI jAya. vaktA pravacana na Ape to paNa jIva TharIne besI zake. pU. dIdInI sabhAo lagabhaga A prakAranI thatI. samayasara zrI kRSNamUrti padhAryA. temanuM sapramANa zarIrasauSThava, sAdAM vastro, koI ADaMbara nahi. prasanna mukhamudrA, tejasvI cakSu jemAMthI jharatuM vibhAga-5 112 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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vAtsalya, e pratibhAvaMtanI upasthiti saunA cittane harI le tevI hatI. puruM pravacana aMgrejImAM hatuM. kyAMka ekabe vAkya samajAyAM hatAM. tamArI jAtane jevI che tevI jANo. pakSapAta karIne doSo ke guNo na juo. UMDA nirIkSaNathI samajAze ke ApaNe aMtaramAM doSane DhAMkavA pakSapAta karIe chIe. jIvana pavitratAthI jIvo, saunI sAthe prema-maitrIthI jIvo. pachI tamAre gurunI jarUra nahi rahe. tame tamArA guru cho. khoTI jaMjALamAM nA paDazo. premathI zAMtino anubhava thaze. ATaluM samajAyuM te sAruM to lAgyuM. have tenuM samAdhAna thAya che. yoga asaMkhya prakAranA che. te mahAmanA puruSonA kSayopazama pramANe vyakta thAya che. temAM samagratA sarvajJa jevI na hoya paNa AMzika satya chupAyeluM hoya che, teTaluM pakaDIe to jIvanamAM bAdhakatA AvatI nathI. zrI kRSNamUrtinA pravacanamAM bIjI kaMI vadhu samaja na paDI, paraMtu tyAra pachI temanA keTalAka anuyAyIone maLavAnuM thatuM. jo ke teo guru paddhati ke gurUparaMparAnA virodhI hatA. paraMtu lokamAnasa eka yA bIjI rIte jenA paricayamAM Ave tenI vAta rUce eTale saheje te vyakti pratye Adara dharAve, ane temanI paddhatine anusare. tame tene je nAmAbhimAna karavuM hoya te karo. gura, ziSya, anuyAyI (pholoara) ?. je. kRSNamUrti kahetA, tame ja nakkI karo ke huM koI paraMparAgata dharma praNAlIno AdhAra rAkhavA mAMgato nathI. koI bhagavAnane vyaktirUpe ke samaSTirUpe zraddhA rAkhavA mAMgato nathI. te guru ke bhagavAnanI kRpA mane kiMI sahAya karI zake tema nathI. tamArAmAM potAmAM evI UrjA che ke te khUlaze ane tamane mULamAMthI badalI zakaze. bahAranAM koI sAdhana tamane badalI nahi zake. tame bhramamAM ja tamAro samaya cUkI jAva cho. . tamArI UrjAne vikasAvavAmAM tame tamArI mAnyatAothI avarodha Ubho na karo. tamArA purANA khyAlothI mukta karo. ApaNe purANA khyAlo para jIvanane goThavyuM che te ApaNo vikAsa na karI zake. gayelA samayane bhUlI jAva, kharekhara tame pUrve je jANyuM che te Aje nirarthaka che. vartamAnamAM tame tamArI jAtane niSpakSapAtathI jANo, temAM deva guru ke temanI kRpAnI jarUra nathI. A temanA maMtavyamAM saMpradAyonI paraMparAgata cAlatI praNAlI kyAMya mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-5 113

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baMdha besatI na thatI. ane janasamAja paraMparAthI koI ne koI praNAlImAM goThavAyelo hoya. navuM sAMbhaLavuM sAruM lAge, paNa jeo UMDANamAM Utare te ja samajI zake. jaina darzanamAM eka nizcayanaya che tenI praNAlI svataMtra ane svAvalaMbI che paraMtu tenuM bIjuM paDakhuM vyavahAranaya che. te te sthAne baMne satya che te vAta nizcayanaya svIkArIne vastunuM darzana karAve che. AtmA svayaM paramAtmasvarUpa che. tene devagura kaMI ApatA nathI te nizcayanayanuM darzana che. paraMtu bhUmikAnusAra sAdhake kevI rIte nizcayanayane anusaravuM te vyavahAranayanuM darzana che. Ama ekAMte satyanuM darzana thatuM nathI. ethI evI prarUpaNAo zravaNanuM sukha Ape. thoDI sAttvikatA keLavAya paNa tAttvikapaNe muktinI prAptimAM anekAMta paddhati satyanuM darzana karAve che ema jJAnIjano kahe che. vaLI mAro saMskAra devaguru-paraMparAno hato tethI A kaMI bahu rucyuM nahi, eTale vadhu paricaya na rahyo. prajJAcakSu pU. paMDitajI sukhalAlajI mAre AMgaNe : pU. paramAnaMdabhAInA paricaye 19paramAM pU. paMDita sukhalAlajIno utAro mAre tyAM thayo. gharamAM puruSa nahi eTale thoDo saMkoca thato paraMtu temanA ja bhakto sarva vigato saMbhALI letA. ghara moTuM hatuM tethI sagavaDa badhI sacavAtI. vaLI paMDitajI prajJAcakSu eTale khUba ja sAvadha ane svAyatta hatA. prathama divase ja mane kahe, "mane jAjarU ane jamavAnI sagavaDavALI jagA batAvI do." meM te eka vAra batAvyuM. temaNe eTalI bhUgoLa pagalAthI mApI lIdhI. sAthe mANasa hato chatAM A bAbatamAM teo svAyatta hatA. dharmamArgamAM jholAM khAtA mArA jIvane AvA prakhara, bhAratavarSamAM khyAtanAma, vikajanano yoga maLyo te saubhAgya hatuM. anya vidvAnono paricaya paNa thayo. paMDitajI sAthe sAMje besatI tyAre temanA vAtsalyatAthI mArA jIvane svasthatA maLatI. jANe snehALa pitA hoya tema vAta karatA. dharmano marma paNa samajAvatA. thoDA divasamAM nikaTano paricaya thayo eTale kyAreka mArI mAnasika vedanA paNa kahetI. tyAre mAruM manobaLa vadhe ane zAMti maLe tevI haLavI vAto karatA. tyAre mane ema lAgyuM, A vaDIla vidvAna ane dharmaparAyaNanI chatrachAyA maLavAthI mAruM du:kha-zoka jarUra haLavo thaze. e divaso kharekhara AnaMdamAM gayA. kaMIka kaLa vaLI ke jIvanane zokamAM veDaphavA jevuM nathI. vibhAga-5 114 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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jIvana uttama rIte jIvavAno hajI ghaNo yoga che. ApaNA karatAM paNa ghaNAM du:khI jIvo che temane sahAya karavI. jIvananI bIjI takone vikasAvI jIvana sArthaka karavuM. teo thoDA divasa rahyA paraMtu jIvanakALa sudhI te sahAro sacavAI rahyo. kharekhara, DUbatA mAnavane sAgaramAM sIsamanuM lAkaDuM maLyuM tevuM lAgyuM. bALako paNa temanI pAse besatA tyAre bALakonI sAthe paNa teo prasannatAthI vAtacIta karatA. thoDA divasa pachI teo vidAya thayA. samayanuM vaheNa vahetuM hatuM? bhora bhayo ne zora sUNuM, koI hase koI rUe nyAruM, sukhiyo sUe du:khiyo rUe akala gatie vicAruM." - zrI munisuvrata jina stavana duHkha zuM che ? sukha kyAM che? vicAravAnuM mAnavanuM paribaLa keTaluM ! jIvana Ama jholA khAtuM hatuM. jIvanamAM pahelAM paNa kaMI dhyeya nakkI karyuM na hatuM. evI samajaNa paNa na hatI ne ! paNa sukhathI vahetuM hatuM. Aje to koI dhyeya nakkI thAya tevI mAnasika sthiti na hatI. eTale uparanI paMkti pramANe jIvana vyatIta thatuM hatuM. aMtaramAM ghero zoka bharyo hato. chatAM temAM sahasrAMza jo zAMti maLatI hoya to te kaMIka dharmabhAvanAnI hatI. saMto ane mitronA sahavAsanI hatI. A badhuM lakhatAM vicAruM chuM ke Aje e zokanI kaMI asara UpajatI nathI ne! A pUro lekha lakhavAnI hiMmata ja jIvane trAhita vyaktinI kathA upajAvIne lakhatI houM tevuM lAgyA pachI ja karI che. jema koI satInI kathA vAMcatAM vAstavikatA sparza, dila drave, upadeza sparze, sattva maLe ane tattvadRSTie samAya tevuM kevala AMzika lagabhaga anubhavuM chuM. A mArI kathA nathI paNa jIvonI karmanI aneka pravRtionI vicitratAnuM darzana che. hA, satIo ke puruSo jevI UMcAI ke mahAnatA nIpajI nathI eTale sAmAnya jIvanaupayogI jIvananI kathA, vyathA che. chatAM devaguru kRpAe dharmakSetre nIpajelI AMzika sArthakatA ane saphaLatA saune bodharUpa nIvaDaze. Akhare ApaNe maMgalayAtrA tarapha javAnuM che ne ! samaya vaNathaMbhyo pasAra thato hato. vaLI kaMIka sUjha thavA mAMDI hatI. cAra-cha mAsa thAya tyAre naNaMdone, bahenane, bApujIne ema bolAvyA karatI. teone maLyAno saMtoSa thAya, mane ane bALakone ghara bharyuM bharyuM lAge. atula-dakSAne khUba ja gamatuM, e sau bALako upara prema rAkhatAM. mArI maMgalayAtrA 115 vibhAga-5

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eTale khAsa javA AvavAnI TikiTa mokalAvI detI. te saune paNa havAphera jevuM thatuM. ane amArI sAthe AnaMdathI rahetAM. tyAre huM paNa haLavA dilathI koI zoka saMtApanI vAta karyA vagara AnaMdathI temanI sAthe samaya gALatI ane bhojana vigere paNa sau sAthe maLIne vividha prakAranAM banAvatAM. unALAmAM kerIno rasa ane AisakrIma jevA prakAro paNa thatA. bALakone saune AnaMda Avato. sau haLavAza anubhavatAM. joke mAre ghaNI vastuo varjya hatI. te daramyAna mane vicAra Avyo ke bahenane bALakone ucheravAnI, zikSaNa ApavAnI ghaNI ja agavaDa che. tethI temanI be dIkarIone muMbaI bhaNavA lAvI. vaLI rasoiyAe jema bIjA zeTha na karyA tema meM bIjo rasoiyo na rAkhyo. ane A dIkarIonI madadathI rasoI karI letA. A divaso daramyAna pU. paMDitajI pAse abhyAsa karatA mitra daMpatIe muMbaIthI amadAvAda sthaLAMtara karyuM. AgaLa jaNAvyuM tema keTalAka mitro paikI e daMpatI lagabhaga roja sAMje AvatAM. dharmacarcA karatA. divase karelA abhyAsanuM punarAvartana karatAM. eTale divase ane sAMje kaMIka prasannatA rahetI. bALakone paNa emano sahavAsa gamato. A vAta kaMI moTI na hatI. paNa DUbatAne taNakhalAnI kiMmata lAge tema mAre ane bALakone uttama sahavAsanI khoTa UbhI thaI. nirmaLAbahena ane bharatabhAI khUba sAttvika dharmajijJAsu, sajjana ane premALa. AvA daMpatInI hUMpha paNa javAnI hatI. chatAM vaLI teoe eka mitrano paricaya karAvyo. te pannAlAlabhAI modI hatA. temaNe saMsAra mAMDyo na hato. gAMdhIjInI jIvanazailavALA hatA. Ama eka pachI eka sanmitronA aMkoDA goThavAtA hatA. pannAlAlabhAInI preraNAthI pU. kedAranAthajIno samAgama thayo. yogAnuyoga te gAMdhIbApunI vicAradhArAvALA hatA. te pU. kedAranAthajInA sAMnidhyamAM sAdhanA karatA. temanI sAthe javAnuM rAkhyuM. pU. nAthajIno bodha vyavahArazuddhino hato. mojazokhanI atyaMta gauNatA hatI. emAM mane bahu takalIpha na paDI. joke have aMze vyApArI ane vyavahArika kAryonI javAbadArI hatI. emAM koI vAra svArthavaza bhayAdhIna mAyAthI asatya vacananI kSati thAya tevo saMbhava hato. svArthavaza thoDI kSatio thaI paNa kharI. chatAM pU. nAthajInA bodhanI asarathI jAgRta rahetI. jevuM azubha udayamAM hatuM, tevo puNyayoga paNa hato. tethI vibhAga-5 116 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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uttama mahAtmAono saMga maLI raheto. tene kAraNe muMbaInA mALAnA vecANamAM hajAronI 2kama pAghaDImAM maLe te levAno aMzamAtra vicAra na Avyo. te rIte maLeluM bhArarUpa lAgatuM hatuM ke have vadhAre konA mATe? saMta pU. kedAranAthajI : kedAranAthajIne sau saMta kahetA. gRhastha chatAM saMtapaNAnA guNo hatA ne ! eka vAra teo haradvAra bAju yAtrAe gayA hatA. pagapALA darzane nIkaLyA hatA. mArgamAM eka ghoDAgADImAM keTalAka pravAsIo jatA hatA. koI paricite gADI UbhI rakhAvI. praNAma karI kahyuM ke nAthajI Avo gADImAM besI jAo, jagA che. nAthajIe hAtha joDIne nA pADI. gADIvALo kahe bApajI, beso, jagA che, kharca ApavAnuM nathI. nAthajI kahe, "bhAI tAro AbhAra. paNa ghoDo rajA Ape to besuM, eno bhAra vadhe ne ? cAlavAnI zakti che. prANInI dayA ane potAnI jAtane ghasavI A saMtapaNuM che ne ? teo kyAMya gustAbhAva lAvatA nahi. gAMdhIbApune teo vaDIla mAnatA. temanA guNa gAtA. chatAM kizoralAla ke gAMdhIbApune jarUra paDe to tAttvika mArgadarzana ApatA. teo namrabhAve prArthanA karatA kahetA ke ApaNe saue evA bhAva karavAnA che ke je saguNo ApaNAmAM na hoya teno khaTako ApaNane rahe, ane mAnavocita e saddaguNo hoya to tenuM abhimAna na rahe, te pragaTa karavAnI lAlaca na rahe, ane te sadaguNa koIne jaNAvavAnI vRtti na UThe. ApaNA aMgata doSonI ApaNane khabara hoya che. te doSone ApaNe ja kADhavAnA che. laDavuM che to enI sAthe laDo. ane sadguNa keLavAya tevA dara mAse eka eka niyamane daDha karatA jAva. jema ke dhaMdhAmAM nIti rAkhIza. A mahine satya bolIza. sinemA jevA prakArono tyAga karIza. Ama teo jIvanane sadAcAra yukta jIvavAno saMdezo ApatA. kaDavA anubhava ane jAgRti : sadbhAgye A mitro savRttivALA hatA eTale sahAya karatA. koI vAra kaDavA anubhava paNa thatA. puruSaprakRtimAM strI bhogya vastu manAI che. puruSamAM mahaaMze saMyama gauNa hoya che. bhale puruSa vadhu parAkramI gaNAto hoya, paNa jo tenAmAM kAmuktA hoya to te nirbaLa manano parastrInA saMgamAM paNa pApa mAnato nathI, chevaTe sahana strIne karavuM paDe che. mATe zIlanA saMskAra e mArI maMgalayAtrA 117 vibhAga-5

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ja strInuM rakSaNa mAnuM chuM. eka vAra te vyakti koI tuccha apekSAvALI paNa paricayamAM AvI. paraMtu dharmanA saMskAra, teonA pratyenA snehe evo javAba vALyo ke punaH moM ja na batAvI zake. teve samaye ugratA paNa AvatI. eTale AkrozathI javAba ApatI. jethI punaH te vyakti mArI pAse AvavAnI ceSTA ja na kare. jo ke tenI vAto evI ke mAre A bALakonuM dhyAna rAkhavuM che. bhale temanA pappA nathI paNa huM bhaNAvIza. vaLI tamAruM kAma karavAno AnaMda Avaze. meM kahyuM juo, teo ghaNuM mUkatA gayA che. koInI jarUra paDe tevuM nathI. ane huM ja mA chuM ane bApa paNa huM ja chuM. e khoTa huM ja pUrI karIza. tamAre e mATe ahIM AvavAnuM jarUrI nathI. tame tamArAM bALakone saMbhALo. emanuM kAma AnaMdathI karo. e vyakti samajI gaI. ahIM kaMI maLe-vaLe tevuM nathI. eTale punaH AvavAnuM prayojana na rahyuM. Ama ghaNuM saMbhALavuM paDatuM. tyAre lAgatuM ke dharmanI niSThAnA aMzataH saMskAra kevA upayogI nIvaDe che ? ane baLa Ape che. je zIlane sAcavI rAkhe che. vaLI te mitra pratye manamAM kaMI dveSabhAva paNa na hato tethI maitrI muMbaI rahI tyAM sudhI dUrathI jALavI rAkhI. AvA be-traNa prasaMgo banI gayA. prAraMbhanA divasomAM pativirahanA dAruNa duHkhamAM anya saMskAra UThatA nahi. jamavA vigere dareka kAraNomAM teonI AkRti najaramAMthI khasatI nahi. paraMtu kahe che samaya jatA badhuM badalAya che. AthI zArIrika vAsanAnA saMskAro paNa kyAreka UThatA. joke thoDo brahmacaryano abhyAsa hato tethI vaLI zamI jatA. temAM pApa che te saMskAra daDha hovAthI kyAreya koI anya vikalpa alpAMze UThyo na hato. jIvanamAM e prasaMgo banyA tyAre zIlanA saMskAre te vyaktio sAme kaDaka valaNa rAkhIne pavitratA jALavI hatI. temAM pALelA vratanA saMskAranuM baLa paNa kharuM. vaLI mArA manamAM teo mATeno ati moha paNa mane anya saMbaMdhamAM calAyamAna karI zakato nahi. tevA prasaMgomAM mArI ugratA vyakta thatI. yadyapi mAro mahadaMze paricaya sajjana ane sAttvika mitro sAthe hato. paMDitajano pAse abhyAsa thato hato eTale tevo prasaMga kvacita ja banato. vaLI ApaNo paraMparAno saMskoravaidhavya saMyamathI pALavAno paNa kharoja. A hakIkata jaNAvavAno hetu ke strI pakSe strIe keTaluM manobaLa vibhAga-5 118 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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keLavavuM jarUrI che ? agara to saMsAra lapasaNI bhUmi jevo che. mATe strIe svayaM A saMskAra uttejita thAya tevA vAtAvaraNa, sinemA jevAM kAraNothI dUra rahevA prayatna karavo. sAMsArika kSetre AvA anubhava thAya te uparAMta jene ApaNe dharmavRttivALA mAnIe te paNa nabaLA mananA mAnavI tarIke puravAra thatA hoya che. evI eka vyakti mane maLI te kahe : sAthe pharavA javAmAM kaMpanI raheze, AnaMda Avaze. temanI vAta karavAnI kAmuka paddhatino mane khyAla AvI gayo. huM kahetI : pharavAmAM mane ekalA ja AnaMda Ave che. mane tamAre te vAta pUchavI ja nahi. Ama, evI vyaktione TALavI paDatI. eka vyaktine evI Teva ke kaMI nimitta maLe, pustaka ApavAnuM ke jatI vakhate "Avajo' kahevAnuM hoya tyAre zarIrane sparza karIne vAta karavA jAya. mane tenI vRttino khyAla AvI gayo. eka vAra kahI ja dIdhuM ke je koI puruSa jANIne sparza kare to mAre AyaMbilanI AlocanA che. chatAM tenI caMcaLatA evI ke e vAta gaNakAre nahi. tyAre mArAthI temane TALavAnuM ja banatuM, te Ave tyAre maLuM ja nahi, athavA kAma laIne besuM. Ama strIne pakSe prabhukRpAe rakSaNa karavAnuM kevuM jarUrI che ! viSamatAomAM bhaLI samasyA - eka duHkhada ghaTanA : tyAre lakSmIbA (sAsujI) nA mAnyAM teo hatA tyAre amArA muMbaI rahevA gayA pachI teoe lakSmIbAne amadAvAda baMgale badhI ja vyavasthA paNa karI ApI hatI. te ane sAmAjI rahetA hatA. game te kAraNe bhAbhI khUba kharco karatAM. teo hatA tyAM sudhI namyuM. paNa pachI to muMbaInA makAnanA bhADAnI Avaka ane bIjI thoDI Avaka para ja amAre calAvavAnuM hatuM. vaLI mArAmAM evI udAratA paNa kyAMthI hoya ? Ama mArI maryAdA hatI. ane svArtha paNa kharo. chatAM vaDIla sukhethI rahe evI bhAvanA rAkhatI. teonA vakhatanI jema kharca ApI zakatI na hatI. temanI badhI vyavasthA baMgale karI hatI. vaLI temano vikalpa sAco hato ke dasa jeTalAM makAno, lAkhonA dAgInA, cAMdInA vAsaNo, dhIkato dhaMdho hato eTale bIjuM paNa ghaNuM hoya. vaLI kuTuMbanA vaDIlonA kahyA pramANe huM amadAvAda rahevA na gaI eTale saue bhAbhInI sahAnubhUti rAkhI. vaDIlanI ane vakIlanI salAha laIne lakSmIbAe ardhI milakatano haka mAMgyo. eTale jayAre muMbaI sau maLyA tyAre meM vaDIlanI salAha mujaba amadAvAdano baMgalo, pUrA samayano mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-5 119

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nokara ke bAI ane dara mAse rokaDA rU. 350 mokalavA (1954mAM) ema nakkI karyuM. vaDIlo ane lakSmIbAnI najara upara jaNAvyuM te milakata para hatI. te adhadhadha-ghaNuM lAge te svAbhAvika hatuM. enA pramANamAM A ghaNuM ochuM kahevAya. te paNa sAcuM hatuM. mane ema ke have A patI jaze. teo amadAvAda pahoMcyA. baMgalo choDIne pote potAnA piyara bA pAse rahevA gayAM. thoDA samayamAM temaNe korTamAM kesa karyo. lakSmIbA kharekhara bhoLAM hatAM. sAthe hitAhitano sAMsArikapaNe vicAra karavAnI kSamatA ochI haze ! game te, paraMtu sAmAnya strI-prakRtie vicArIzuM to temAM temanA pakSe khoTuM na gaNAya. te samaye huM temanI sagavaDamAM sahamata hatI. tethI temane sukha maLe evI bhAvanA rAkhatI. alabatta strInI sAmAnya prakRtinA pramANe mane kaMI temano A vartAva gamyo to na ja hato. paNa leNadeNa gaNI duHkha sAthe samatA rAkhavA prayatna karatI. Aje vicAruM to lAge ke temanI bhUmikA pramANe anyanI salAha mujaba je kAMI karyuM te te vakhate temane mATe ThIka haze ? khera. lakSmIbA :- mArA samAna hakkanuM zuM ? temaNe vicAryuM ke A gharamAM huM AvI, tuM AvI. teo hatAM, tyAM sudhI vIlanA baMdhAraNa pramANe badhuM patinuM. amadAvAdanuM ghara atulanA nAme hatuM ane muMbaInI milakata mAre nAme hatI. temaNe vicAryuM ke huM ane tuM banne sarakhA hakadAra chIe. tyAre temaNe nAnAM bALakonI noMdha nahi lIdhI hoya ane temaNe joyeluM ke ATalI aDhaLaka saMpatti e ekalI bhogave ? temane samajAvavA kaI rIte ke huM bhogavatI nathI, mAre bhogavavI nathI. mAre to te upAdhi che. vAstavamAM mane ja mArI vyavasthA ane milkatanI pUrI samaja na hatI. vaDIle vIla dvArA temanI pUrI vyavasthA karI hatI. AthI temanA hakkano prazna na hato. teo sukhethI rahe tevI bhAvanA rAkhatI. joke temane to ghaNI apekSA hatI. - amadAvAda mahAvIra sosAyaTImAM amArA baMgalAmAM derAsara hatuM. temAM cAMdInuM siMhAsana vigere hatuM. te lakSmIbA Abu laI gayAM. vaLI pelA sAdhu-mahAtmA sAthe teo Abu delavADA rahevA lAgyA. temanA kahevA pramANe kharca karatAM. eTale emane je kaMI vIlanA AdhAre maLeluM te thoDA vakhatamAM vaparAI gayuM. kALakrame sAdhu-mahAtmA kALadharma pAmyA. temanuM kaMI lakhANa nahi eTale A cAMdInI lAkhonI sAmagrI sAthe bhagavAnano kabajo delavADAnI peDhIe laI lIdho. Aje paNa A vastuo vibhAga-5 120 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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tyAM eka oraDImAM rAkhavAmAM AvI che. lakSmIbAno paNa temAM haka na rahyo. meM to te vAta para paDado ja pADI dIdho. Akhare lakSmIbAe hAIkorTanA daravAjA batAvyA : kalpI na zakAya tevI duHkhada ghaTanA ghaTI. eka divase bapore ArAma karatI hatI tyAM daravAjAnI ghaMTaDI raNakI. cArapAMca sAva ajANyA mANaso hatA. temaNe zistabaddha korTano kAgaLa batAvyo. temAM korTanI kAryavAhI hatI. gharanI tamAma vastuo noMdhAvI devI. huM A aMge kaMI vicAra karuM tyAM to amadAvAdanA amArA maeNnejara bhAIno kola Avyo ke ahIM oNphise korTa taraphathI sIla lAgyA che. baMgalAnI vastuonI paNa noMdha lIdhI che. kAraNa lakSmIbAe tamAma milakatamAM bhAga maLe tema hAIkorTamAM kesa karyo che. tenI A kAryavAhI che. korTanA AvA kAmano vicAra karavAnuM mAruM gajuM nahi, koIne pUchuM tevo avakAza nahi. gharamAM koI vaDIla to hatA nahi, AvI sthitimAM raDavA sivAya mane zuM sUjhe ? pelA mANaso temanI ciThThInA cAkara. samansa bajavavo paDe chatAM teo zAMtithI beThA. mane jarA kaLa vaLI. paristhitino svIkAra karI UbhI thaI. e lokoe mAMgyuM te badhuM kholI ApyuM. pahelAM jaNAvyuM tema cAMdInAM moTA bhAganAM vAsaNo kADhI nAMkhyAM hatAM. joke te mANasone mAro gabharATa joIne ke game tema paNa seipha DipojhiTanuM khAnuM yAda nahi AvyuM hoya, - temane vastuo lakhavAnuM kAma soMpI huM seIphamAM doDI gaI. pU. kAkAne lAkhonA dAgInAnuM baoNkasa sopI AvI. emAM kaMI UMDI akkala na hatI. paNa e vastuo jAhera na thAya e bhayathI soMpI hatI. e gabharATamAM kAMI satyano dharma mane sUjhe kevI rIte ? eTale meM e vAta bhayathI chupAvI. Ama vicArIe to kevI vicitratA ! e dAgInA paheravA na hatA. te pratye moha paNa na hato. Aje vicAruM chuM ke tyAre chupAvyA kema ? UMDANamAM kSobha ane moha hato. khera ! chatAM satya AgaLa AvyuM, te have joIzuM. sAMje amArI traNa peDhInA vaDIla, niHsvArthavRttivALA, khUba sAdhanasaMpanna, jemanI salAhathI muMbaI choDyuM na hatuM evA zrI kAkA pAse gaI ane azruno dhodha chUTyo. temaNe sAMtvana ApyuM ane samajAvyuM ke mAthe AvyuM te ukelavuM paDe. teoe mane pratiSThita evA amArA solisiTara kAMgA enDa kAM.vALA pAse kesa mUkavAnuM kahyuM. temanA kAryAlaye jatAM mArI maMgalayAtrA 121 vibhAga-5

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pahelAM temanA hAtha nIcenA vakIla pAse mane temanA ghare laI gayA. teo khUba samajadAra hatA. badhuM sAMbhaLyA pachI kahe : ApaNe seiphanA badhA dAgInA noMdhAvI devAnA. tArA bhAgyamAMthI koNa laI jaze ? ApaNe je kaMI karavuM te sAcuM ja karavuM. Aje lAge che ke dharma-saMskAra A rIte sahAya karato hoya che, eTale asatya karavA gaI chatAM tene sudhAravAnI taka maLI. temanI vAta samajAI. gabharATa ocho thayo. ane kesanA kAgaLa taiyAra karavAmAM e dAgInA noMdhAvI dIdhA. jIvanamAM vaDIlo ke vakIlo maLe te paNa satyaparAyaNa maLe tene paNa suyoga mAnuM chuM. Ameya mane teonA gayA pachI e vaibhavamAM rasa na hato. e badhuM bojA jevuM ja hatuM. ane bALako nAnAM hatAM eTale mane kaMI dAgInAnI upayogitAno koI vicAra e rIte udbhavato paNa na hato. have nyAyamaMdiranA daravAjA jovAnA hatA : Ama, cha mAsa pachI kesanI mudata AvI. hAIkorTamAM hAjara thavAnuM hatuM. te divase mana para bhAre asara thaI. prezara ghaTI gayuM. zarIra zithila thaI gayuM. bhUkha marI gaI. teonI hAjarImAM sADI, dAgInA ke zAkabhAjI levA paNa ekalI kyAMya gaI na hatI. temAM mAMDa thoDI pA pA pagalI bharI tyAM to kudarata kahe doDa. kyAM ? hAIkorTanA daravAje, jIvanamAM AvatI AvI AphatomAM svajana-mitro, dharmanI sAttvikatAnI rucinA saMskAra, saMtonA samAgama, temanuM mArgadarzana, saMskAranAM bIja vAve che. tenuM vRkSa thaI kasoTInA samaye chAyA Ape che. te A kSetramAM pravezelAono anubhava che. te camatkAra nathI, sAkSAtkAra che. Ama savAra to kevI UgI tenI vyathA zuM lakhuM ? manamAM gata AtmAne uddezIne kahetI hatI ke mane Ane mATe mUkatA gayA cho ? tamArA guNa pramANe devalokamAM hazo tyAM sukhamAM ane mAre mAthe du:khanA DuMgara ? zuM tamArI prIta sAcI hatI ? vaLI mAre kyAM A vaibhava joIto hato ? ! mane to chaThThI AMgaLI jevo lAge che. chatAM A badhuM saMbhALavAnuM, veThavAnuM ? Ama mAnasika vikalpono jhaMjhAvAta UmaTyo hato. nyAyamaMdira ke prabhumaMdira ? : have zuM karavuM ? manamAM keTalAya taraMgo UThatA. nirAza thaI sophA para beThI hatI tyAM sAme Tebala para gAMdhIbApunuM pustaka 'satyanA prayogo' hatuM, jANe koI deve labdhithI mUkyuM ke zuM ? meM hAthamAM lIdhuM. vAMcavAmAM vibhAga-5 122 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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kaMI rasa na hato paNa amastu pAnuM kholyuM. te pAnuM ke vAkya yAda nathI paNa evo matalaba hato ke satyanuM AcaraNa karanArane satya madada kare che. A vAkyanI sAthe bIjAM vAkyo vAMcyAM, manamAM hAza thaI, haLavAza thaI. mane thayuM ke mAre kaMI khoTuM karavuM ke kahevuM nathI. lakSmIbAnA sukhamAM rAjI chuM. mane ciMtA zAnI ? mahAtmAonA prasaMgomAM, kathanamAM kevo camatkAra-sAkSAtkAra hoya che ? zarIra-mana svastha thayuM, prezara sarakhuM thaI gayuM. thoDuMka jamI. avalaMbanarUpa vicAra-ciMtananI Teva sahAre AvI. korTa eTale nyAyamaMdira. prabhumaMdiramAM prabhunAM guNagAna gAvAnAM. nyAyamaMdire navakAramaMtra gaNavAnA ane A ja satya jALavIne amArA pitarAI jeTha je amadAvAdanI peDhInA maeNnejara hatA. temanI sAthe nyAyamaMdire (hAIkorTamAM) pahoMcI. prabhumaMdire na jAya to kudarata paNa zuM kare ? nyAyamaMdira batAvene ? A divasomAM amaracaMdakAkAnuM avasAna thayuM hatuM. paraMtu bharatabhAInA sasarAjI zrI trikamalAla anubhavI hatA temanuM mArgadarzana maLI rahetuM. vaLI sArAbhAI maNiyAra paNa sahAyarUpa thatA. lakSmIbA temanA khyAtanAma vakIla sAthe hAjara hatAM. hRdayanI aMtaHkaraNanI sAkSIe eka vaDIlanI jema temanA pratye saddabhAva rAkhI, meM temanI sAme najara meLavI. zakya teTalA navakAra gaNavA prayatna karatI. joke manamAM sthiratA pakaDAtI na hatI. mUMjhavaNa TaLI hatI paNa eka prakArano zUnakAra jaNAto hato. joke lakSmIbAne joIne mane koI dveSa pedA thayo na hato teno barAbara khyAla che. kAraNa ke mArA manamAM to teo sukhI thAya tevA bhAva hatA. pApanAM chidro purAIne kayAreka puNya paNa pragaTatuM : amArA solisiTara kAMgA ke nA hatA. ghaNAM pratiSThita. jevuM nAma moTuM tevuM dAmanuM kAma paNa moTuM ja hoyane ! kesanI taiyArI mATe bolAve tyAre eka mulAkAtanA, phakta pAMcasAta miniTanA 500/1000nI rakama hoya. te uparAMta bIjA kharcA judA. kesanI rajUAta lagabhaga 12 vAge thaI, traNacAra vAgyA sudhI badhI rajUAta thaI. vaDIle kareluM vIla evuM spaSTa hatuM ke temAM lakhyA uparAMta kyAMya temano hakka na hato. ane teoe rajU karelI milakato lagabhaga atula ke mArA nAma para kAyadesara hatI. sAmenA vakIla svAbhAvika che ke temanA asIla mATe pUrato prayatna kare, amArA hAjara rahelA vakIla mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-5 123

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jaina hatA. khUba kuzaLa hatA. temaNe vicAryuM ke jo Aje kesa nahi pate to vaLI mudata paDaze. baMne pakSe 1955nI sAlamAM darekanA vakIlanI phI eka divasanI rU. 25,000 jevI hatI. Ama baMne vidhavA bAIonI milakata veDaphAI jaze. AthI temaNe jajasAhebane AvuM kaMIka samajAvyuM. teo paNa jaina hatA. A eka suyoga hato. teo amane khAnagI cembaramAM laI gayA. temaNe mane kaMIka pUchyuM. meM kahyuM lakSmIbAne sukha paDe tema karo. baMgalo vigere meM pahelAM je nakkI karyuM hatuM te kahI dIdhuM. sAme pakSe vakIle bhAga mATe dalIlo karI tyAre jajasAhebe jaNAvyuM ke vIla pramANe je che te uparAMta kAyadesara bIjuM kaMI ja maLe tevuM nathI. ema jajasAhebe abhiprAya Apyo tyAre sAmenA vakIla mUMgA thaI gayA. Akhare jajasAhebe jajamenTa lakhAvyuM ke baMgalAmAMthI traNa oraDAmAM lakSmIbA jIve tyAM sudhI rahevAno hakka, je vIlamAM lakheluM hatuM. mAsika rU. 400 ApavA. huM have hiMmata karIne vacamAM bolI ke ""sAheba, temane pUro baMgalo Apo mane vAMdho nathI. mAre muMbaImAM moTuM makAna che. jajasAheba : ""tAre amadAvAda javAnuM thAya, bALakonA bhAvimAM prasaMgo Ave, to kyAM rahIza ? vaLI teo ekalA che eTale A pUratuM che." Ama vaDIlo sAthe je vicAryuM hatuM tenAthI kaMI vadhyuM na hatuM. kesa patyo paNa e kALe be pakSanA thaIne eka lAkha jevI rakama kharcAI gaI. kahe che jayAM jayAM je leNAM hoya te cUkavavAM paDe. te pachI vakIlo, vaidyo ke vyaktio dvArA hoI zake teno aphasosa karavo vyartha hato. lakSmIbAne saMtoSa na thAya te svAbhAvika hatuM. jo A vAta ghara beThe patI hota to kaMI gumAvavAnuM na hatuM. hajAronI rakama kharcAne paNa meM pahelAM je kahyuM hatuM te ja pramANe temane maLyuM. Akhare e kAma patyuM tema mAnavuM. te bAMdhelI A mahelAto ane vaibhava sAthe nA Ave, saunuM bhAvi saunI sAthe tenI ciMtA zA mATe, je nA Ave saMgAthe tenI mAyA zA mATe? vibhAga-5 124 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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I.sa. 1956 muMbaIthI punaH amadAvAda bhaNI jatAM dakSA (putrI) atulakumAra (putra) vaya-12 sunaMdAbahena, vaya-3) saralAbahena ThAkora sAmAjika sevA kSetranA sahayAtrI, muMbaI

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38 varSa 45 varSa atula, dakSA, ramonA

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6 muMbaIthI punaH amadAvAda bhaNI * * * * * * jIvanamAM eka vaLAMkano saMyoga samasyAonI vaNajhAra amadAvAdamAM lakSmIjIe punaH jagA badalI baMne bALako sAthe gaMbhIra vicAraNA lakSmIbA punaH baMgale rahevA AvyA zvasura pakSanA anya saMbaMdho amadAvAdamAM punaH piyara pakSanI paristhiti * punaH paMDita zrI sukhalAlajInA samAgamamAM * pU. paMDitazrI sukhalAlajIno saMkSipta paricaya * A kALanI bodhadAyaka AzcaryakArI ghaTanA * * * mana mAnavano musIbate maLe | carANo guruvAranA tI purNayathI maLe mATInA kuMbhathI to pANI DhaLI jAya, divasane rAta mane ema kahI jAya."

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pU. paM. zrI sukhalAlajImAM pAMcavratanA darzana thatAM ahiMsA : teo vAtsalyapUrNa, nirlobhI tathA nispRha / hovAthI koIne pIDA thAya tevo bAhya AcAra karatA nahi ane aMtaramAM tevA bhAva pedA na thatAM te pratyakSa kaLAtuM. satya : temanI vANI prakhare chatA satyaparAyaNa hatI tethI temAM mAyA, daMbha, mAna jevA doSo bhaLI zakatA nahi, satya chatAM hita ana mita. acaurya : teo potAnI maryAdAthI kazuM vizeSa rAkhatA nahi, koInuM kaMI letA nahi, are lekhana jevA kAryomAM paNa spaSTatA rAkhatA. brahmacarya : AjIvana brahmacArI hatA. sAthe sAthe jIvananI pavitratAmAM jAgRta hatA. aparigraha : teo traNa jeDa vaza, eka TuvAla, be nepakIna, eka ja Da jUtA, suvA oDhavAnA alpa sAdhana sivAya, A gaNatrIthI kazuM vadhavA detA nahi. AhAramAM paNa ati alpAhArI hatI. AjIvikAmAM svAyatta rahetA temAM paNa alpa parigraha hato.

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jIvanamAM eka vaLAMkano saMyoga 1954 lagabhaga korTanuM kArya upAdhi chatAM saraLatAthI patyuM. 1955 lagabhaga atalanI koI bhUlathI tene tathA anya vidyArthIone esa.esa.sI.nI vArSika parIkSAnuM phaoNrma maLyuM nahi. mAre mAthe A ciMtAno viSaya hato. hajI bhaNavAnuM hatuM. muMbaImAM koI oNphisa nahi, bhAgIdAroe to A bAbatamAM saMparka ja rAkhyo na hato. have zuM karavuM? e divasomAM roja tenI zALAe AMTA khAvA, prinsipAlane vinaMtI karavI, mana udvegamAM hatuM, temAM vadhAro thayo. chatAM prayatna karIne phorma meLavyuM. bIjA vidyArthIone paNa maLyuM. te badhA pAsa paNa thayA. joke A prasaMga banyA pachI atula mAnasika rIte bhaNavAmAM nabaLo thayo eTale parIkSA samaye gabharATa raheto. chatAM anya mitrone sAthe rAkhI vaMcAvatI, ema karatA pAsa thayo. kaoNlejamAM dAkhala thayo tyAre paNa kaMIka evuM banyuM. eka peparamAM te napAsa thayo. have A prazna gaMbhIra banyo. mArI paNa kaMI vizALa samaja nahi. koIne tyAM kaMI kAme lAge tevA saMyoga nahi. vaLI koInI khuzAmata karavI paDe. AthI A prazna jaTila banyo. sAthe bIjI samasyAo paNa kharI. samasyAonI vaNajhAra : (1) atula napAsa thavAthI eka varSa to ghare ja rahevAnuM hatuM. muMbaImAM vyApArI kSetre te ajANa hato. kaMI kAma vagara jIvanavikAsa kema thAya? (2) jenI huMpha hatI te bharatabhAI nirmaLAbahena amadAvAda sthAyI thayA, pachI 5. pAnAcaMdabhAI bImAra thavAthI abhyAsa paNa chUTI gayo. (3) saralAbahene paNa lagna karI lIdhAM eTale temano sahavAsa ocho thayo, eTale amane saune ekalavAyuM lAgatuM. (4) amArI saMbhALa rAkhatA salAha ApatA te amaracaMdakAkAnuM avasAna thayuM. vahIvaTI kAryomAM takalIpha rahetI. (pa) mArI tabiyata sArI rahetI na hatI. hajI mAnasika udvega zamyo na hato. (6) bahenanAM bALakone bahu gamatuM nahi ane makAna moTuM hatuM te have jANe khAvA dhAtuM hatuM. (7) muMbaInA makAna vigerenI vyavasthA kevI rIte karavI ? mArI maMgalayAtrA 127 vibhAga-6

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Ama abhimanyunA koThAnI jema cakravyUha racAyo hato. vaLI e samaye eTalI kuzaLatA nahi ane mAnasika svasthatA nahi ke badhuM kArya saraLatAthI cAle. chevaTe ema lAgyuM ke amadAvAda sthAyI thavuM. punaH amadAvAda bhaNI : amadAvAda jaIne badhuM sukharUpa che tema to na hatuM. paraMtu sAttvika mitronI hUMpha hatI. atula peDhIe besato thAya ane vyApAra saMbhALe tenI mukhyatA hatI. AkharI nirNaya karI sArAbhAI ane mArkaMDabhAInI sahAyathI, muMbaInuM pharnicara amadAvAda ravAnA karyuM. makAna vecavAnI jAherAta karI. ame 1956nA vekezanamAM amadAvAda pahoMcyA. saMyogavazAt mAnavI dezavidezamAM phare, sthaLAMtara kare temAM kaMI vizeSatA na hoya. ahIM mArA jIvananI ghaTanAo kevI rIte ghaTI, mArI maMgalayAtrA kevI rIte thatI hatI te jaNAvavA, te te yAtrAmAM sahAyatA kevI rIte maLI te jaNAvavA mATe A citrAmaNa jarUrI lAgyuM che. Ama, jIvanamAM pAcho eka vaLAMka Avyo. ane te pramANe amAre traNee have jIvana goThavavAnuM hatuM. atula : atulanuM bALapaNa khUba lADAkoDamAM gayeluM. e mojI prakRtino hato. pachI pitAzrIe paNa lADa pUrA karyA hatA. vaLI bImArIne kAraNe paNa tenI prakRtimAM ugratA hatI. paraMtu khAvuM, khavarAvavuM, udAradila ane jarUra paDe mitrone sahAya karavI, paropakAra jevA guNo hatA ane che. khAsa karIne ramUjI che. tene kAraNe tenuM mitramaMDaLa moTuM che. amadAvAda AvI teno abhyAsa zarU thayo. joke tene abhyAsamAM rucinI vRddhi thaI nahi, mArA dabANathI grejyueTa thayo. dhaMdhAmAM kAMtibhAI (kAkA) ghaNuM saMbhALI letA eTale tene bahu bojo na hato. vaLI pachI teNe dhaMdhAnI paddhati badalI, te anukULa na AvavAthI nivRtta thayo. potAnI rIte jIvana goThavAI gayuM. dakSA : dakSAne amadAvAda bilakula game nahi. tene koI mitra nahi. navI zALA. e raDatI-kahetI : "mammI ! tame mane kahezo te badhuM huM karIza. paNa cAlone muMbaI pAchAM jaIe, mane ahIM gamatuM nathI." Ame svabhAve vibhAga-6 128 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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bhadrika, uMmara 11 varSanI, tethI bIjI kaMI samaja na hoya, Ama kahI raDatI ane tenI sAthe huM paNa raDI jatI. vAtsalyathI tene samajAvatI, Akhare te paNa goThavAI gaI. atula Ama paNa ghaNo maLatAvaDo eTale thoDA vakhatamAM mitromAM ane bhaNavAmAM goThavAI gayo. muMbaInI jema amadAvAdamAM paNa lakSmIjIne paga thayA : amadAvAda atulanA pitA ane dAdAe sarjana karelI saMpatti ThIka hatI te vizeSa sthAvara hatI. e saghaLo vahIvaTa karavAnI paNa trevaDa joIe. tethI tenuM vecANa zarU karyuM. poLanAM traNa ghara bhADe ApelAM eTale ApaNI garajane kAraNe ochI kiMmate vecANa thayuM. bajAramAM mArkeTamAM be dukAno hatI. te eka saMbaMdhIe atulane samajAvI thoDA vakhata mATe bhADe lIdhI, pachI te pote ja ochI kiMmate laI lIdhI. bIjI dukAna paNa vecAI gaI. pAlaDImAM eka makAna hatuM te paNa vecAI gayuM. pachI A mUDI kyAM jatI te samajAtuM nahi. khera, lakSmIjI paga karatA gayA. Akhare lAkhonI kiMmatanI sI. ke. vohorAnI peDhI te paNa sastAmAM gaI. aruNa sosAyaTIno plaoNTa jhUMpaDAvAsIe pacAvyo. bIjI khAlI jagA je nemacaMdabhAIe mahAvIra sosAyaTImAM rAkhelI te paNa vecAI gaI. javA do... hajI yAdI lAMbI nathI karavI. hA, paNa atulano puNyayoga sonInA bhaMgAra jevo che. sonInA bhaMgAramAM paNa sonAnI rajakaNo nIkaLe. tema A hakIkata banavA chatAM ame sau saMtoSa, zAMti ane sukha-saMpannatAthI rahIe chIe. saMsAra che... kaMI ne kaMI saMgharSa to 2he. vaLI tenuM paNa samAdhAna thAya. amadAvAda keTalIka muzkelIo hatI, muMbaImAM paNa hatI. azubhano yoga sAthe ja rahe. chatAM mane khyAla hato ke amadAvAdamAM pU. bApujI (zrI trikamalAla), bharatabhAI, kalyANabhAI jevA sAttvika mitrono saMga maLaze. pU. paMDitajI paNa hatA. ekaMdare muMbaI karatAM to amAre mATe amadAvAda rahevuM yogya hatuM. muMbaImAM ghaNo khAlIpo-sUnakAra lAgato. te rIte mane paNa nizciMtatA lAgatI. chatAM eka vAta to nivArI zakAya tema na hatI. te e hatI ke dara vakhate AvatA tyAre 'teo'nI upasthiti hatI. mana bharyuM bharyuM rahetuM, ghara paNa sagAM-svajanonA ullAsathI bharyuM bharyuM rahetuM. A samaye amadAvAda AvavAmAM ghaNuM aMtara A hatuM. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-6 129

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vAstavamAM sagAM, svajana, mitrono sahavAsa hato. sAdhanasAmagrI hatI. paraMtu chellAM varSomAM mAruM jIvana teonA AdhAre hatuM. teonI AjubAju goThavAI gaI hatI. AthI anyatra mane kaMI lagAva rahyo na hato. AthI mArA manane hajI samAdhAna thatuM na hatuM, ke teo vagara amadAvAda kevI rIte jIvavuM ! je svIkAryA vagara chUTako na hato. baMne bALako sAthe gaMbhIra vicAraNA ? : mArA para gAMdhIjInI vicAradhArAnI asara tethI zramanI mukhyatA rAkhI, eka ja nokarathI kAma goThavyuM. gADI paNa muMbaIthI ekAda varSe AvI. tyAM sudhI basa-rikSAthI navyuM. bALakone moTarane badale sAIkala para javAnuM rahetuM. A sAdAI ane zrama mArA mATe saMtoSakArI hatAM. bALakonuM badhuM sacavAtuM paNa temaNe jiMdagInAM prathama varSomAM pitAnI hAjarImAM je sukhasAmagrI, aDhaLaka vastro, aneka prakAranA khAvA-pIvAnA zokha, ramatanAM sAdhano, moTaranI sagavaDa e badhuM alpa thaI gayuM hatuM. temane e vakhate du:kha lAgyuM haze. paNa kahevA jevI vaya nahi ! teo TevAI gayA hatA. temanI koI phariyAda nahotI. dakSAne mammInI sAthe rahevAmAM ja badhuM samAI jatuM. atulane je kaMI UNapa hatI te mitro ke sagAM dvArA pUrI karI leto. te svayaM udAra ane koInuM kAma karI levAnI vRttivALo. tema sagAMo tene khUba ja premathI sAcavatA. mArA sAdAInA AdarzanI dhUnamAM bALakonA mananA UMDA stara para zuM cAlatuM hoya tenI mane sUjha na hatI. mane lAgatuM sAdAI to Adarza che. vaDIlo kahetAM zuM duHkha che ? nokaro ane bIjI sagavaDa mUkI zA mATe garIbImAM jIve che? zuM javAba ApuM? e sAdAImAM mane have duHkha na hatuM. svecchAe meM teno svIkAra karyo hato. tethI mane saMtoSa hato. bALakone sArA saMskAra maLe tevuM mAruM maMtavya hatuM. ema karatAM atula lagabhaga vIsano thayo. dakSA paMdaranI thaI. eka vAra nirAMtanI paLe vAta karatAM teoe manamAM paDelA keTalAka vicAro vyakta karyA. tyAre khabara paDI ke pappAe bhale dasa varSamAM paNa, ghaNAM sukha-sagavaDa ane temanI icchAo pUrI thAya tema ucheryA hatAM. ane meM to pachI ekAeka ja temane, sAdAInA AdarzomAM sAdhanasagavaDo gauNa karI ucheryA. mArI karakasara temane mATe kyAreka agavaDa UbhI karatI. vibhAga-6 13) mArI maMgalayAtrA

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jemake gADIne badale sAikala maLe. dakSAne bahu vAMdho na Avato paNa atula tenA pitAnI jema zokhIna, sAdhanasAmagrInI vipulatA game. eTale kyAreka manaduHkha thatuM haze. jo ke 1962thI lagabhaga to teNe ja dhaMdho ane gharavyavasthA saMbhALI lIdhAM hatAM. tethI potAnI sagavaDo pramANe sAmagrIo vasAvI leto. Ama tenI rIte pote raheto hato. eTale have te aMge mArI javAbadArI gauNa thaI hatI. lakSmIbA punaH baMgale rahevA AvyAM; saMgharSanA aMtano saMtoSajanaka aMta : muMbaInA korTanA cukAdA pachI lakSmIbA amadAvAda pAchAM AvI, potAnA bAne tyAM rahevA gayAM, mArAM bhAI-bhAbhIne gharanI takalIpha hatI, ane baMgalo sacavAya eTale teo amArA baMgalAmAM rahe tevI goThavaNa karI hatI. korTanA cukAdA pramANe lakSmIbAnA traNa oraDA khAlI hatA. chatAM koI nAnI sAmAnya bAbata mATe vaLI temaNe vakIla dvArA kesa karyo. thoDo vakhata ema cAlyuM. paNa badhuM patyuM. temanAM bAnuM avasAna thavAthI teo baMgale rahevA AvyAM. AthI mArAM bhAI-bhAbhIe bIje makAna lIdhuM. ame baMne sAsu-vahu gharamAM paNa svataMtra rahetAM amArA rasoDA judA hatA. lakSmIbA rahevA AvyAM paNa temanI asala pelA maMtra mATenI zuddhi jALavavI vigere ane bIjAM paNa kAraNo saMgharSanAM maLatAM. Ama amAre lakSmI ane sarasvatIne (mAruM mULa nAma) kaMI meLa paDato nahi. paraMtu yogAnuyoga amArI je jUnI bAI cAlI gaI hatI te mArI pAse nokarI mATe AvI. tene meM lakSmIbA pAse goThavI dIdhI. tene amAre mATe lAgaNI eTale tene kAraNe vaLI badhuM zAMtithI cAlyuM. vaLI bAIne meM kaheluM ke tamArI rojanI vastu sivAya bahArathI kaMI lAvavuM nahi. ApaNA gharamAM ghaNuM che. eTale laIne vAparajo. Ama meLa paDato gayo. bhAva e ja ke vaDIla sukhethI rahe. koI saMgharSamAM na Utare. mane paNa zAMti maLe. paraMtu lakSmIbAne hajI pUratuM maLyuM na hatuM, teno asaMtoSa hato. tethI koI vAra kajIyo karatAM. eka vAra mAro roSa paNa evo bhabhakyo ke barAbara dhamakAvyA. tyArathI zAMta thaI gayAM. phakta bahAra temanA mitromAM jayAM jayAM jAya tyAM ghaNI khoTI mArA cAritra-dUSaNanI upajAvelI vAto karI Ave. mArAM kauTumbika, dhaMdhAkIya ane samAjasevAnAM kAryo evAM mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-6 131

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hatAM ke jemAM puruSonI sahAya ane paricaya rAkhavo paDe. dharmanA saMskAre ane sahaja rIte huM to jAgrata hatI. pavitratA jALavatI. paraMtu temane A badhuM pasaMda na hoya eTale strI-prakRti mujaba vAto phelAvatAM tyAre huM mauna rAkhatI. huM tenI noMdha na letI. badhAM pAse khUba raDe. saune emanI dayA Ave. ane mAro doSa dekhAya. paNa temAM dhIraja sivAya mAro upAya na hato. prabhune prArthanA karatI ke mane samatA Apo. temane zAMti ane sAva Apo. ane kharekhara A prArthanAe kAma karyuM. chellAM pAMca varSa teo prasannatAthI sAthe rahyAM. gADI jarUra paDe vAparatAM, kajIyo paNa choDI dIdho. mArI praNAlI ane samaja mATe temane mAna thayuM. pachI to anyane salAha ApatAM ke tamane takalIpha hoya to mArI sunaMdAne pUcho. tamane mArgadarzana Apaze. atula-ramonA ane temanAM bALako pratye paNa prema rAkhe. Ama A janmamAM amArI vacce kleza zamI gayo. te prabhukRpA. teoe thoDA divasanI bImArI bhogavI 70 varSanI vaye ciravidAya lIdhI. sevAcAkarI karavAnI taka ApI yaza ApatAM gayAM, pote paNa aMtima divasomAM zAMtithI rahyAM. amadAvAdamAM punaH piyarapakSanI paristhiti : bApujI : joke have temanAM saMtAno moTAM thayAM hatAM temAM moTAM cAra to lagabhaga mAmA-mAsIne tyAM ja hatAM. kaMI thoDuM kamAya to paNa bApujIne sahAya karI na zake. vaLI bIjAM cAra saMtAno have bApujInA ghare rahetAM eTale thoDI Arthika mUMjhavaNa kharI. huM punaH amadAvAda AvI tyAre mArI sthitimAM akalpanIya taphAvata hato. teonI hAjarI nahi. hajI atula dhaMdhe lAgyo na hato, AvakanI maryAdA hatI. tethI mArI muzkelI to manamAM ja zamAvI dIdhI hatI. bApujI zerabajA2mAM badhuM ja gumAvI beThA hatA. have avasthA thaI hatI. zAradAbAnAM bhAI-baheno sahAya karatAM, kyAreka huM karatI, joke te pUratuM na hovAthI bApujI pahelethI nArAja hatA ja. vaLI bahenanI to pUrI javAbadArI hatI. tene to koI ja madada kare tema na hatuM. Ama ATha saMtAna, patnI chatAM bApujInuM jIvana chelle sudhI upAdhiyukta rahyuM. temanA gayA pachI saMtAno moTAM thayAM. kAme lAgyAM, vibhAga-6 132 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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temanA puNyayoge sau saMpanna che, zAradAbA A badhuM joIne gayAM. jevA bhAvibhAva. bahena-subhadrAbahena : temanI sthitimAM paNa koI sudhAro nahi. temanA patine eka jagAe kAme mUkayA paNa vakratAne kAraNe TakI na zakyA. dhaMdhA mATe rakama ApI te mULamAMthI gaI. bahenane bIjo koI AdhAra ja na hato. zikSaNa, anAja, vastro, badhuM ja pUruM karavuM paDatuM. huM paNa kayAre vicAratI ke AvuM kyAM sudhI calAvavuM. bahena samatAvALAM hatAM paNa te zuM IlAja kare ! hajI saMtAnaprApti cAlu hatI. sAta saMtAno thayAM pachI mAnI gayAM ane kuTuMbaniyojanano upAya karyo. Ama chatAM koI vAra sAMjanI AhAranI sAmagrI na hoya tyAre mArI pAse AvatAM. thoDI vAra vAto kare. mane tApamAM gAmaDe bahAra jatI joIne ciMtA kare. chevaTe jatI vakhate kahe zera-be zera loTa hoya to Apa, gharamAM kaMI nathI, loTanuM khIcuM karIne chokarAone jamADI zakuM. ame baMne duHkhI thatAM, vaLI jarUrI cIjo ApI detI. bIjI vyavasthA paNa karatI. Ama karatAM temanI moTI dIkarI maMdAne bhaNAvIne taiyAra karI. mArI saMsthAmAM nokarI e rAkhI. te vakhate 125 rU. pagAra hato. temAM thoDI madada karIne pUruM thatuM. vaLI pachI dIkarAne kAme mUkyo. te to pAcho Avyo ja nahi, kaMI ADe caDhI gayo. tyAra pachI dIkarIo bhaNatI gaI tema kAme lAgatI gaI. vaLI banevIne gAMdhInidhimAMthI jelanivAsa karelo eTale kaMIka maLatuM ane rojanuM jIvana svasthatAthI nabhatuM hatuM. have e oraDAmAM sAta saMtAno ane pote be-nava vyaktio sUe kevI rIte ? - have be-traNa dIkarIo kamAtI hatI, eTale bahAra sosAyaTImAM eka phaleTa laI Apyo. dara mAse hatA temane bharavAnA hatA. Ama rojiMdu jIvana thALe paDyuM. saMsAramAM kazuM thALe ke mALe caDhatuM nathI. tema bahena dAdarethI paDI gayAM, page phrekTara thayuM. phalaeNTa thayo, rojiMdA jIvananI ciMtA TaLI tyAre khATalAvaza, tema sattara varSa gayAM, joke samatAvALA hatAM. eTale TakI gayAM vaLI dIkarIoe sevAcAkarImAM jarApaNa kacAza rAkhI nahi. Ama coryAzI varSanI vaye teo ciravidAya thayAM. joke mArI maMgalayAtrA 133 vibhAga-6

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dIkarIo cAra kuMvArI rahI. putra to Avato ja nahi. chelle Avyo to kamANI nahi, chatAM teo AMzika rIte pAchaLanuM jIvana zAMtithI jIvI zakyA. pathArImAM zakya teTalAM sAmAyika karatAM, vAMcatAM, Ama jIvanayAtrA samApta thaI. bhAI-manubhAI : teone temaNe nokarIe mUkyA hatA. paNa te khAtuM baMdha thavAthI nokarI nahi. cAra saMtAno hatAM. Ama to mArA baMgale rahetA paNa have judA thayA. sAmAnya nokarI hoya paNa pUruM na thAya. bhAbhInA bhAIbaheno AMzika sahAya karatAM eTale teo mArI pAse apekSA rAkhe. jo pUrI na thAya to saMbaMdha paNa gauNa thaI jatA. ema karatA temanA be dIkarAone meM nokarI para mUkI ApyA. eTale jIvana to svasthatAthI nabhatuM thayuM. amArA saMbaMdha sudharyA. joke meM to bhAbhI sAthe saMparka rAkhyo hato. teo khUba bImAra thayAM tyAre nAnA putrane tyAM rahetAM. bhAIe pUrA premathI temanI lagabhaga 70 jevI vaya chatAM Adarza sevAcAkarI karI. bhAbhInuM mRtyu thayuM. bhAIne lagabhaga 75 varSanI vaye kensara thayuM. teo samatAvALA hatA. kensara darda jANIne svayaM nakkI karyuM ke mAre kaMI upacAra karavA nathI. upacAranuM darda sahana karavuM. tenA karatAM kudaratamAM je thavAnuM haze te thaze. annanaLInuM kensara eTale AhAra baMdha thayo. phakta eka glAsa jevA pANI para pUro divasa gALatA. Ama ekavIsa divasanI mAMdagI bhogavI. temanuM manobaLa daDha hatuM. huM tyAre roje jatI, navakAramaMtra tathA paMcasUtranA pATha saMbhaLAvatI. pachI mAre amerikA javAnuM thayuM, tyAre maLavA gaI. mane lAgyuM ke have punaH maLazuM ? teo paNa e ja bolyA ke ""have ApaNuM maLavAnuM nahi bane." ane amArA jIvanane pUrA premathI ame te divase AvakAryuM, ane kSamApanA karI. amArAM netra sajaLa banyAM. tyAra pachI teo chellA be divasa vadhu bImAra thayA. temanA banevIe suMdara nirdhAmaNA karAvI. teo zAMtithI ciravidAya thayA. tyAre huM amerikA hatI. roje phonathI vAta karIne navakAranuM smaraNa karAvatI. Ama A badhuM keTalI vIsIe so thavA jevuM banyuM che ? vibhAga-6 134 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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amadAvAda punaH paMDita zrI sukhalAlajInA samAgamamAM : 1956mAM muMbaIthI sthaLAMtara thayuM. sAta varSo ghaNA prasaMgomAMthI pasAra thaI hatI. amadAvAdamAM jIvana goThavAtuM gayuM. muMbaImAM hatI tenA karatAM manobaLa sudharyuM hatuM. saMsArakathA hamaNAM mulatvI rAkhIe ane satsaMga bhaNI jaIe. vAMcakone paNa saMsArakathAthI have satsaMgano lAbha maLaze. muMbaImAM pU. paMDitajIno paricaya hato tethI pU. paMDitajI pAse roje traNeka kalAka judA judA viSayo vAMcI saMbhaLAvatAM mane paNa lAbha thayo. temanI pAsethI vastune uttama rIte vicAravAnI zakti maLI. je Aje ciMtanarUpe vikAsa pAmI. vaLI pU. paMDitajI prakhara satyavAdI, chatAM vAtsalyapUrNa eTale temanI pAse jJAna sAthe jIvanabaLa maLI rahetuM. Ama bapo2e be-traNa kalAka AnaMdamAM jatA. vaLI pU. paMDitajI sAthe anya mitro ane ucca vidvAno, sAdhako sAthe maLavAnuM thatuM. padmazrI vibhUSita pU. paMDitajI vidvAnomAM prathama koTInA gaNAtA. paNa cUsta zvetAMbara mUrtipUjaka saMpradAyamAM teonuM sthAna gauNa hatuM. kAraNa ke teo pUrve bALa dIkSA pratibaMdhanA himAyatI hatA. tathA bIjAM evAM thoDAM kAraNo hatA. joke te samaye sAdhujanono mane paricaya nahi. ane paMDitajI e samAjathI bahAra hatA. vaLI te samaye mArAmAM saMpradAyanI pakaDanI asara na hatI. eTale to temano lAbha levA pacIsa jevAM varSo saMparkamAM rahI. sAmAjika kAryonI sAthe sAthe temanI sAthe dharmacarcAono samaya goThavAI jato. mAruM jIvana sAva sAduM, lokaraMjananA kAryakramo varjya hatA. eTale samaya ghaNo maLato. mane ema ke saMskRta zIkhuM to zAstrAbhyAsa thavAthI mane navI dizA maLaze. mULa zAstrono abhyAsa thaze. AthI pU. paMDitajInI pAse meM prastAva mUkayo. paMDitajIe bahAranI sarva pravRttio saMkelI hatI. ghaNe bhAge ekAMta ja gALatA. joke ghaNA vidvAno vigere dharmagoSThI mATe AvatA. tethI mane paNa teno lAbha maLato. je Aje aMkura rUpe Ugyo tema mAnI zakAya. pU. paMDitajInI saMmatithI saMskRta zIkhavA tenAM pAThyapustako lAvI. pU. paMDitajI pAse zIkhavAnuM zarU karyuM. paNa A "rAmaH rAmau rAmAH" vigere dhA2Na ja na thAya to paNa pAMceka pATha zIkhI. pachI to gADI pATe mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-da 135

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na caDhI. pU. paMDitajI gAMdhIjInA saMparkamAM AvyA hatA. temanAthI khUba prabhAvita thayA hatA. eTale mane kahe : ""tamane hajI zokano ghA rUjhAyo nathI. eTale citta svastha nathI. vaLI cAre bAjunA vAtAvaraNamAM paNa klezanAM kAraNo ghaNAM che. eTale paNa citta svastha nathI. A saMskRtino abhyAsa svastha citte thAya. mAre tamane nirAza nathI karavA. guNavikAsa tarapha lakSya rAkhavuM te Atmika vikAsa che ane samAjanA duHkhI varganI sevA karavI te hamaNAM zokamuktino upAya che. tamAre mATe AjanI paristhiti ane bhUmikA pramANe e barAbara che." vaLI muMbaImAM huM mAnavasevAnuM kAma karatI hatI tethI mane te vAta rucI gaI. pU. paMDita sukhalAlajI viSe saMkSipta paricaya : pU. paMDitajInuM vyaktitva, pratibhA, sAduM jIvana ane niHspRhatA eTalI UMcAIe hatAM ke mArA jevAnI kalama temane viSe zuM lakhI zake ? chatAM temanA pratyeno mAro ahobhAva kaMIka lakhavA prerAya che. pU. paMDitajIno janma saMbhavataH gujarAta-saurASTranA vaDhavANa najIka lImalI gAme thayo hato. tyAre koNa jANatuM hatuM ke mATI mizrita sonAnI khANamAMthI nagada sonuM pragaTa thaze! pU. zrIno kauTumbika dharma sthAnakavAsI praNAlIno hato. A kuTuMba saMghavI oLakhANa dharAvatuM. saMpanna gharamAM teo lagabhaga soLa varSanA thayA tyAre temane bhAre baLiyAnA roge gherI lIdhA. temAM AMkhanuM teja harAI gayuM. arthAt pU. aMdhApAnA bhoga banyA. pU.no gAmanI zALAmAM sAta dhoraNano abhyAsa thayo hato. tyAM vaLI A bhayaMkara Aphate gherI lIdhA. saMyukta kuTuMba eTale anya muzkelI na hatI, paraMtu have jIvananA vikAsanuM zuM ? jo ke mAtA-pitA vicAratAM ke prArabdha bhogavyA vagara chUTako nathI. gharamAM khAze, pIze ane dharmamArge ArAdhanA karaze. AthI gAmanA upAzraye AvatA sAdhujano pAse pU. jatA ane kaMThe thAya te rIte zAstrano abhyAsa karatA. sAthe keTalAka vrataniyama dhAraNa karyA hatA. sAdhujanono vizeSa paricaya thatAM koI sAdhumahAtmAe A sonAne pArakhI lIdhuM ke AgaLa abhyAsa mATe banArasa jAya to ghaNo lAbha thAya. vibhAga-6 136 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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lagabhaga so varSa pahelAM vaDIlo AvuM sAhasa karavA taiyAra thatA nahi. paraMtu sAdhumahAtmAnA kahevAthI pU.nI aMdara rahelI zaktie A vAta jhIlI lIdhI, ane pote banArasa javA taiyAra thayA. paNa javuM kevI rIte ? kharca koNa Ape ? bhAgyayoge samAcAra maLyA ke kAzImAM jaina sAdhu-mahAtmA saMskRta vigereno abhyAsa karAvatA. vaLI mAMDalanA zrAvakoe sAdhu ke gRhastha vidyArthIone kAzI abhyAsa karavA javA sagavaDa karI Ape che, tevI khabara maLI. pU.ne adhyayananI tIvra jhaMkhanA hatI. ane potAnI parAdhInatA jANatA hatA chatAM A samAcArathI teo kAzI javAno nirdhAra karI cUkayA. have vAta AvI vaDIlonI saMmati levAnI. prathama to vaDIle nano bhaNyo. paNa jyAre pU.nI daDhatA joI tyAre saMmati ApI. pU. je vidhi karavAnI hatI temAM saphaLa thayA ane eka dekhatA bhAI sAthe kAzI pahoMcyA. tyAM koI udAratAthI sahayoga Ape na Ape paNa aMtaramAM abhyAsanI tIvra abhilASAe agavaDane sagavaDa mAnIne pU. kAzInI pAThazALAmAM goThavAI gayA. mAMDalanA zrAvakonI udAratAthI jamavAnI to sArI sagavaDa hatI. abhyAsa mATe ghaNI muzkelImAMthI teone pasAra thavuM paDyuM. tyAre kaMI breIlalipi na hatI. koI saMbhaLAve te sAMbhaLIne abhyAsa karavAmAM ghaNI takalIpha thatI, chatAM aMtaramAM adamya utsAha temane TakAvI rAkhato. AthI teo TUMka samayamAM vyAkaraNa jevA kaThina viSayono abhyAsa pUrNa karI zakyA. aMte prAdhyApaka tarIke kAryano AraMbha karyo. pU.nA mULa saMskAra sthAnakavAsI hatA. eka maMdiramAM pUjA sAMbhaLIne temane mUrtinA AlaMbanano svIkAra thayo. vaLI zAstranA abhyAsa dvArA temAM vRddhi karI. joke mUrtipUjAnI temanI A bhAvanA kevaLa jaina paraMparA pUratI sImita na hatI. temane lAgyuM ke sthAnakavAsIno mUrtipUjA virodha phakta temAM thayelI atizayokti pUrato che. temAM viveka jALavavAne badale mUrti, zAstro ane saMsthAono virodha karIne temAM rahelo sAra bhAga gumAvyo che tema teo mAnatA. vaLI zvetAMbara tathA digaMbara baMne phirakAmAM ghaNI sudhAraNAnI jarUra che tema teo mAnatA. Ama, temanI vicArasaraNI mahadaMze saMpradAyathI mukta hatI. mane jayAre pU. paMDitajIno paricaya thayo tyAre uparanI AvI mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-6 137

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hakIkatothI huM ajJAta hatI. paraMtu teo mAre tyAM muMbaImAM rahyA tyAre temanAM vyaktitva, jJAnapratibhA, sAdhu jevA AkiMcanyanA uccaguNothI mane temanuM sAnnidhya rucyuM hatuM ane lAbhadAyI jaNAtuM hatuM. teoe mane kriyAnI zuddhi, jIvanamAM satyanuM sthAna vigere jaNAvyuM hatuM paraMtu kyAreya kriyAno niSedha kahyo na hato. joke gAMdhIjInA paricaye teo mane racanAtmaka kArya mATenuM dhyAna doratA, ane te mAre mATe yogya mAnatA. AthI meM paNa te pramANe mAnavasevAnA kAryamAM jhukAvyuM. 1978mAM temano dehavilaya thayo tyAre 9899 varSanI temanI vaya hatI. joke temaNe zArIrika pratikULatAne kAraNe lagabhaga vIseka varSathI bahAranI pravRttio saMkelI lIdhI hatI. vidvajano ke vidyArthIo temanI pAse AvatA temane yogya mArgadarzana ApatA. svayaM ciMtanapradhAna prakRtinA hatA eTale mahaddaaMze teo ciMtanamAM ja vadhu rata rahetA tevuM lAgatuM. temanI smRti chellA samaya sudhI sateja hatI. koI vidvajana sAthe carcA karatA tyAre je kaMI prazna hoya teno zAstrakathana ke te te prasaMgone tAdazyapaNe kahI detA. paMDitajI to potAnA citana vigeremAM ja rahetA. temanI bAhya sagavaDa temanA bhatrIjAthI sacavAtI. temane anya jarUriyAta hatI nahi. vyAkhyAna vigerenI pravRtti to sameTI lIdhI hatI temanI je kaMI mUDI hatI tenA vyAjamAMthI badhuM nabhatuM hatuM. vastunI moMghavArI thaI. Avaka to vadhavAnI na hatI. eTale potAnA ja AyojanamAM pheraphAra karyo. mosaMbInA rasane badale lIbu pANI, dUdha-vaparAzamAM ghaTADo. kapaDAM to be joDa ja rAkhatA. eka oDhavAnI cAdara ke dhAbaLo. eka joDa jUtA. A temanI jIvana-sAmagrI. tame jANo cho ? temanA becAra bhakto ghaNAM zrImaMta hatA. teo kaDhAyu dUdha ane mosaMbInA rasa pUrA pADe tema hatA. paNa temaNe to Avaka-jAvakamAM svAtaMtrya rAkhyuM hatuM. eka vAra mArA jANavAmAM AvyuM tyAre huM tarata ja ghIno Dabbo ane mosaMbIno karaMDiyo laIne gaI. gharamAM mukAvyA. suzIlAe paMDitajIne vAta karI. paMDitajI mane kaheH juo, mAre to vrata che ke koInuM kaMI levuM nahi. vibhAga-6 mArI maMgalayAtrA 138

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chatAM tame mArI dharmaputrI cho. jarUra paDe tamArA taraphanI meM chUTa rAkhI che. suzIlAne paNa kahyuM che. ane mAre mAthe hAtha mUkyo. e vakhate mArI AMkhamAMthI azru sarI paDyAM. meM kahyuM : paMDitajI, upakArano kaMIka to lAbha levA do. RNa adA karavA do. mAthe hAtha pheravatAM kahe : meM je kaMI ApyuM te mAruM kyAM hatuM? bhagavAnanA kevaLajJAnanA sAgaranA srotano e lAbha hato. vaLI jarUra paDe tamAre karavAnuM che. paNa kyAreya jarUra UbhI thavA dIdhI nahi. eka vAra teo bImAra paDyA. hospiTalamAM dAkhala karyA. tyAM dhotiyuM badalavAnuM thayuM. paraMtu trIjuM rAkhatA ja na hatA. huM tarata ja khAdImaMdiramAM jaIne dhotiyuM kharIdI lAvI. te paherAvyuM. dhotiyuM koruM hatuM. hAthano sparza thatAM suzIlAne pUchyuM. dhotiyuM koruM lAge che. "hA, jarUra hovAthI bahena lAvyAM che." bhale, rakama cUkavI dejo." mArI AMkha ane mana gagada thaI gayAM. paNa temAMthI zIkhavAnuM ghaNuM maLyuM. lobha upara eka bUca jANe mAryo hoya tevuM lAgyuM. joke A jIva kaMI evo baLavAna na hato eTale AMzika pAlana thaI zakyuM. temanA jevI daDhatA na AvI. Ama temanI vAcA karatAM paNa temanI jIvanazailImAMthI tyAganuM - aparigrahanA saMskAranuM baLa maLyuM hatuM te Aja sudhI jaLavAI rahyuM che. suzIlAnAM lagna pachI temanA bhatrIjAe temanI badhI ja vyavasthA saMbhALI lIdhI hatI. vaya vadhatI gaI. zarIra svastha hatuM paNa nAnI takalIpho thatI tyAre auSadha levAnuM TALatA. ane kahetA : have zarIra paDe to bhale. paNa upacAra to karavA paDatA. chellI mAMdagImAM pezAbanI takalIpha thatI. auSadha levAnuM TALatA tyAre mArA kahevAthI nAnA bALakanI jema mAnI jatA. e mAre mATe saubhAgya hatuM. chelle pezAba baMdha thaI javAthI vA.sA. hospiTalamAM laI javA paDyA. tyAM temanuM avasAna thayuM. vAstavamAM paMDitajI eka mahAna vibhUti hatA. paraMtu temanA ja vicAronA paDaghA paDyA ke zuM? hospiTalamAM ame ATha-dasa jaNa hatA tyAMnA sTrecaramAM temanA pArthiva dehane krImeToriyamamAM laI gayA ane aMtyeSTikriyA tyAM karI. na koI jAherAta, na koI bhIDa. jANe eka paDado UMcakAI gayo. jo ke temanuM sAhitya temanA jIvanano mArI maMgalayAtrA 139 vibhAga-1

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saMdezo Ape che te ja temanI cirasmRti che. paraMtu mAro AMtarika visAmo hato te virAma pAmyo. pU. paMDitajI bodhanI bhASAmAM vizeSa kaMI kahetA nahi paraMtu temanuM satyaparAyaNa, Arkinya, niHspRhabhAva, manobaLa jevA guNo ghaNuM zIkhavatA. koI viSayanI samajaNa Ape tyAre tenA UMDA stare laI jAya. pU. paMDitajInA sAnnidhyano yoga lagabhaga 25 varSa rahyo. temAM ghaNuM manobaLa ane satyaniSThA keLavAyAM, daDha rahyAM. je Aja sudhI jaLavAyAM che. pitA samAna vAtsalya e vakhate mArI mUDI hatI. temanA samAgamathI mArA mananI svasthatA punaH pAMgaratI hatI. jayAre vetanathI kAma karatA tyAre je kaMI bheguM thayeluM tenA vyAja mAMthI (alpa Avaka) nibhAva karatA. vaLI temanA dehavilaya pachI jenI sevA maLelI te saune te rakama ApI devAnuM lakhIne ApyuM hatuM. Ama jANe pAchaLa kaMI levAdevAnI koI khaTapaTa na hatI. A temano bodha hato. lAMbA jIvanano paNa saghana ane AcArayukta bodha temanA jIvanane vAcA Apato. A kALanI bodhadAyaka AzcaryakArI ghaTanA : pU. zrI ramaNIkabhAI ane tArAbahenano paricaya gAMdhIjInA custa anuyAyI amadAvAdanA ramaNIkalAla ane tArAbahena modI hatAM. temano paricaya bApujIe (zrI trikamalAle) karAvyo hato. ramaNIkabhAIe 18 varSanI yuvAnavaye sAdhusaMparkamAM AvatAM dIkSA levAnI pratijJA karI. tyAM to gAMdhIjInA paricayamAM AvyA. temAnAthI khUba prabhAvita thayA. bApunA kahevAthI satyAgrahamAM joDAyA. bALapaNamAM temanAM ghoDiyA lagna thayelAM. have teo to gRhasthapaNe rahyA. eTale kanyAnA vaDIloe lagnano prastAva mUkayo. khUba dabANa lAvyAM. kAkAe to dIkSA levAnA bhAvathI AjIvana brahmacarya lIdhuM hatuM. kanyAnA vaDIlo mAne nahi. ame sau temane kAkA-kAkI kahetAM hatAM. - kAkA to gayA gAMdhIjI pAse. bApune badhI vAta jaNAvI bApu kahe, "kanyA ane temanAM vaDIlone kaho ke lagna karuM paNa AjIvana brahmacarya vrata lIdheluM che te pALIza." kAkAne ukela maLI gayo. temaNe vaDIlone vAta karI. kanyA ja svayaM vibhAga-6 140 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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taiyAra thaI gaI. Ama ramaNIkabhAI tArAbahena sAthe lagnagraMthithI joDAyA. paNa brahmacArI rahyA. sAdhu thayA na hatA. paNa pAMce vratanA pAlanakartA jarUra hatA. gAMdhIjInI vicArasaraNImAM sAdAI ane saMyama to hoya ja tethI ahiMsA dharma paLAto. satyaniSTha to hatA ja. manathI, tanathI ke dhanathI acaurya to pALatA hatA. brahmacArI hatA. gAMdhIjInI rAhabarImAM racanAtmaka kAma karatA hatA. samaya jatAM deza svataMtra thayo, tyAra pachI vRddhAvasthAmAM bApunA AzramamAM ja rahetA. gAMdhInidhimAMthI je maLatuM te temanA nirvAhanuM sAdhana hatuM. alpa parigrahI hatA. pitAjIe kaMIka mUDI mUkI hatI. tenuM emaNe apaMga mAnava maMDaLamAM dAna karyuM hatuM. tyAra pachI gAMdhInidhimAMthI jela bhogavanArane sarakAre puraskAra Apelo, te pacIsa hajAra jevI rakamanuM paNa temaNe apaMga mAnava maMDaLamAM dAna karyuM. " meM kahyuM, "kAkA, A rakama hamaNAM rAkho. vIlamAM lakhI dejo. eTale pachI meLavI laIzuM.'' kAkA : ''atyAra sudhI A rakama kyAM hatI ? chatAM jIvana namyuM che ne ? have paNa nabhaze.'' teo amane bodha paNa Avo ja ApatA. satyathI jIvajo. parigrahanA pApane vadhArazo nahi. nispRha bhAve sevA karo. ochuM bolatA, paNa mArmika bolatA. svabhAve ghaNA bhadrika hatA. AvAM kAkA-kAkI pAse kalyANabhAI-bhAbhI ane huM ghaNuMkharUM jatAM. satsaMga... goSThi karatAM. teo prasanna thatAM. teonA pavitra jIvananI amArA upara ghaNI asara thatI. teo paNa jyAMthI satsaMga sAMbhaLIne AvIe te premapUrvaka sAMbhaLatA. kAkI bolakA ane kuzaLa hatAM. paNa temanI vAtomAM sAMsArika kaMI na hoya. kAraNa temano saMbaMdha sAMsArikapaNe khAsa kaMI hato nahi. eTale gAMdhIjI sAthenA jelavAsanA vigere prasaMgo kahetA. have to kAkA-kAkInI vRddhAvasthA hatI. lagabhaga rasoI vigere svayaM karI letAM. thoDuMka kAma bAI pAse karAvatAM. ame jatAM tyAre nAnuMmoTuM kAma karI letAM. mArI maMgalayAtrA 141 vibhAga-6

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kAkIne page hADakAM bhAMgI javAthI pathArIvaza thaI gayAM hatAM. kAkA temane mA gaNI, pote putra hoya tema nirdoSatAthI snAnAdi sarva sevA jAte karatA. brahmacaryanI niSThA jANe vijayazeTha ane vijayA zeThANInuM dRSTAMta pUruM pADe tevI hatI. samatA ane dhIraja evI aDaga ke kAkI akaLAya to paNa teo mA mA karIne sevA karatA. kAkA TUMkI mAMdagI bhogavIne lagabhaga 92 varSanI vaye avasAna pAmyA. gAMdhI AzramamAM pathArIvaza kAkIne ekalAM rAkhavAnI takalIpha hatI. tethI temanA eka dUranA sagA temane laI gayA. temanA pachI temanI mUDI teone maLe tema vyavasthA karI, chevaTe kAkI paNa avasAna pAmyAM. A daSTAMtano sAra e che, ke prabhu mahAvIranA pavitra zAsanamAM te kALanA vijaya zeTha, vijayA zeThANInA saMskAranA vArasAnA ApaNane A kALamAM kaMIka darzana thAya che. AthI nizcaya rAkhavo ke dharmazAsana sanAtana che. gRhastha chatAM sAdhunI jema pAMca vratanuM pAlana karI AkiMcanyapaNe rahevAnI bhAvanAvALA jIvonuM darzana thAya che. prArabdha para vizvAsa kevo! bhAvi prajA na hatI ke temano nirvAha kare. navI Avaka thavAnI na hatI. chatAM pitAnI mUDI ane gAMdhInidhino puraskAra maLyo tene eka rAta paNa potAnI pAse rAkhyo nahi. nirbhayatA ane nirlobhatAne AtmasAt karI gayA. AvA jIvonuM jIvana zAstrane pAne bhale na caDe paNa janasamudAya para sUkSma rIte tenI asara nIpaje che. te ja tenuM mUlya che. ame-temanI pAse janArA mitro upara temanA jIvananI pavitratA surekha aMkAyelI che. ame mAnIe chIe ke A amArI mUDI che. janmAMtare sAthe Ave evI vImA yojanA che. amArA janmo thatA raheze tyAM sudhI amane hAtha pakaDI UMce laI janArA A rUDA AtmAono saMyoga thato raheze, ane sanmArge javuM saraLa banaze. mArI maMgalayAtrAmAM A ghaTanAo eka aMga che. vibhAga-6 142 . mArI maMgalayAtrA

Page #154
samAja kalyANa saMghanA kAryAlayanA bhUmipUjananI vidhI rAjyapAlazrI maheMdI navAjha jaMganA varad haste vidhI atulakumAra - 2monA vohorA vidhImAM beThA che. amadAvAda jillA samAja kalyANa saMghanA kAryAlayanA bhUmipUjana samaye rAjya gavarnara zrI maheMdI navAjha jaMga, bhUmipUjanano lelo pAcho ApavAno che ? saMsthAnA pramukhazrI IndumatIbahena zeTha saMsthAnA maMtrI zrI sunaMdAbahena vohorA saMgha saMcAlita kaThavADA kanyA chAtrAlayanA udghATana samaye rAjyapAlazrI zrImannArAyaNa sAthe

Page #155
amadAvAda samAja kalyANanI pravRttionA saMsmaraNa saMsthAnA kamiTinA sabhAsado-1960 rAjabhavananI mulAkAte grAmavistArano bALameLo grAmavistAranA bahenonuM mahilA saMmelana

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apaMga mAnava maMDaLanI pravRttio laMDananA mumukSuo - aipaMga mAnava maMDaLanI mulAkAte bALakonI pravRttio apaMga, mIna.va maMDaLa saMcAline.. nIrasaMI[Ena pahoza mAdhyamika zA sthApanA varSa juna 1987 sunaMdAbahena vohorA mAdhyamika zALA Yog) TWAMWno bhajanika purUSottamajhaloTAnuM svAgata rajatAMti samaye

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apaMga mAnava maMDaLanI pravRttio apaMga mAnava maMDaLanA makAnanI bhUmipUjana vidhI ramonA - atula vahorA apaMga mAnava maMDaLanA makAnanA bhUmipUjana prasaMge rAjyapAlazrI maheMdI navAjha jaMga, rAjya zikSaNa maMtrI zrI IndumatIbahena zeTha, rAjya samAja kalyANa borDanA ceramena zrI puSpAbahena mahetA saMsthAnI mulAkAte - bALakonI salAmI rASTrapati zrI vI. vI. giri tathA zikSaNapradhAna zrImatI Indumatibena sAthe saMsthAnA sAravAra kendranI mulAkAte rAjyapAlazrI vizvanAthana

Page #158
sAmAjika mAnava sevAkAryanA hIromAM pravezI mithI thALI dIsA thI pAMtrIsa varSa * kAryanA prAraMbhamAM muMjhavaNa * zrI puSpAbahena mahetAno paricaya * samitinA anya kAryakarono saullAsa sahakAra che. grAma vistAranA nAnA bALakonI vividha pravRttio * a. ji. samAja kalyANa saMghanI sthApanA * pramukhazrI IndumatIbahenano paricaya * grAmavistAranI tyaktA-vidhavA vigere bahenonuM zikSaNa kArya bahenonI ApavItI ghaTanAo che. A kSetre strIone jokhamadArI kharI * saMsthAnI pravRttio ane phaLazruti * apaMga mAnava maMDaLanI sthApanA * apaMgonA kAryamAM muzkelI hatI apaMga mAnava maMDaLanA kAryanI phaLazruti "rUDI rIte jIvo jagamAM rUDA karajo kAma, sAcA dilathI sevA karatA rIjhe mArA nAtha. du:khanI veLA mahIM hArI jazo nA hAma, jaLa kamaLa jevA banI karo saghaLA kAma. 1 maLI che kAyA mAnavInI, jagatamAM dhupe saLI thAjo, su badhI anya ne, davA, tame jAte baLI jA jo. tamArUM thAya te thAya na karajo ko Ine du:khI, tamArI deha ghaMTIthI, bIjAnA duHkha daLI jAjo.''

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manuSyanuM satva - 'jayAM sudhI manuSyane tame kevaLa hADamAMsanuM pUtaLuM samajIne mAnava sevAne kevaLa anna vastra AvAsanI vyavasthA karavAmAM bAMdhI dezo tyAM sudhI A duniyA zAMti, samatA, prema, sahayogano rasto pakaDI nahi zake. manuSya kevaLa vikArI vicArono puMja nathI. manuSyanuM satva AtmasattAmAM che. bhagavadyattAmAM che. tene pragaTa karavA mATe manuSya janma maLyo che.' teo ghaNIvAra kahetA samAjasevA karatA pahelA adhyAtmane jANo, AtmasattAnI zuddhatAne samaje. tamArA ahaM mamatva dUra thaze. anyane tame bhagavarUpe jozo. tyAre tame sAcI samAjasevA karazo. prematattvano sAco prasAra thaze. jIvanamAM samagratAno saMcAra thaze te sAcA sukhano rAha che. - zrI vimalAtAI ThakAra (pU. dIdI)

Page #160
amadAvAdamAM sAmAjika kAryano prAraMbha (158-1984) prAraMbhamAM mUMjhavaNa : amadAvAda sthiratA pachI pU. paMDitajInA mArgadarzana pramANe temanI pAse temanuM jarUrI sAmAnya vAMcana cAlu rAkhyuM. temAM mane ghaNuM jANavAnuM maLatuM. temanI AjJA, salAha mujaba meM pU. trikamalAla bApujI pAse jaI vAta karI ke mAre sAmAjika kArya karavuM che. teo mane amadAvAdanA vikAsagRhamAM laI gayA. tyAre saMsthApaka puSpAbena mahetA hatAM temano paricaya karAvyo. huM vadhu bhaNelI nahi eTale, mane kAma soMpyuM reMTiyo kAMtatAM zIkhavavAnuM ema sAmAjika sevAno prAraMbha thayo. jo ke mane e kAma phAvyuM nahi. eTale e sevA tyAM ja aTakI gaI. mAruM mana virahanA zokamAMthI tathA anya viSama saMyogothI have haLavuM banyuM hatuM. paraMtu mAre samayano saduupayoga karI jIvanane praphulla karavuM hatuM. jIvananI sArthakatA karavA mane kyAM to dhArmika zikSaNa ke kyAM to paropakArayukta jIvana A be pAsA dekhAtA hatA. temAM pU. paMDitajInI salAhathI meM mAnavasevAnI bhAvanA rAkhI. sAthe satsaMga-svAdhyAyano yoga to hato ja. vaLI saMskAra pramANe ghare sAmAnya dharma-anuSThAna thatAM hatAM. satsaMgI mitrono saMparka raheto hato. agAu jaNAvyuM tema muMbaImAM teonI upasthitimAM sukhI jIvanamAM maLelA samayanA sapiyoga mATe sevAkArya karyuM hatuM. amadAvAda sthira thayA pachI eka varSa pUruM thayuM. tyAM vikAsagRhamAM maLI hatI te zrI puSpAbahene manamAM mArI bhAvanAnI noMdha rAkhI haze. tethI eka divasa temano phona Avyo ke bhadramAM amadAvAda jillA paMcAyatanA makAnamAM samAjakalyANa samiti dvArA grAmavistAranuM kAma cAle che. te samitinA tamane "ceramena' tarIke nImavAmAM AvyAM che. tame kAle savAre agyAra vAgyA pachI tyAM jajo. meM bhale' kahIne phona mUkI dIdho. pachI vicAra karyo ke mane hajI e khabara nathI ke ceramena eTale zuM ane ceramene zuM karavAnuM? Ama A "moniTara' chatAM mAre ghara bahAra badhAM ja kSetro aNakheDAyelAM eTale kAryanI bhAvanA hatI, paNa mUMjhavaNa thaI. AthI bApujIne phona karyo ke mArI maMgalayAtrA 15 vibhAga-7

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Avo phona Avyo che, paNa mane A kAma kevI rIte AvaDe ? bApujI kahe : "bhale, huM puSpAbahenane nA pADI dauM chuM. pachI vaLI jo Iza.' te pramANe bApujIe phona karyo. eTale puSpAbahenano mArA para punaH phona Avyo : ""tamArI ceramena tarIke nimaNUka karavAmAM cha mAsathI patravyavahAra thayo pachI saMmati maLI che. eTale tamArI nimaNUka rada karavAmAM ane bIjAnI nimaNUka karavAmAM pAchA cha mAsa joIze. mATe tame hamaNAM to A kAma hAthamAM lo, vAMdho nahi Ave." A pramANe vAta thayA pachI vaLI huM pU. paMDitajI pAse gaI. teo kahe : ""kAma kAmane zIkhavaze. temAM kaMI mUMjhAvAnI jarUra nathI. teoe zubhAziSa ApI ke niSkAma sevA karo, A karmayoga che. mAna-hoddAthI dUra rahevuM. dhana meLavavAnI apekSA na rAkhavI to A kSetre paNa tamArI dharmabhAvanA jaLavAze. tamAruM duHkha paNa virAma pAmaze." mane lAgyuM ke niHspRha evA saMtonI vANImAM lAbha ja hoya che. vaLI pU. paMDitajInA AziSa che pachI mUMjhAvAnuM koI kAraNa nathI. vAstavamAM pU. paMDitajInA AziSathI kArya niSkAmabhAve thayuM. khUba vikAsa pAmyuM. mAna hoddAnI apekSA gauNa rahetI. cittane prasannatA maLatI. pachI AgaLa zuM banyuM te joIe. zrI puSpAbahena mahetA : sAmAjika kSetre eka saMniSTha vibhUti temane kema bhulAya? zrI puSpAbahena kAma ghaNuM karatAM, khapa pUratuM bolatAM sAmAjika kSetre sevAkAryamAM temano prathama paricaya thayo hato. joke vadhu nikaTatA na hatI, paraMtu temanI sevAnI niSThA, samaja ane nirbhayatA mATe ghaNuM mAna hatuM. mArA sAMbhaLavA pramANe teo bALavidhavA hatAM. mane paricaya thayo tyAre cha dasakA jevI vaya haze to paNa rUpa-lAvaNya dekhAtuM. te kALamAM vidhavA mATe zikSaNakAryano lagabhaga sAmAjika virodha hato. te kaparA kALamAM puSpAbahene zikSaNa mATe hAma bhIDI. tyAra pachI anukrame potAnI AvI paristhitino vicAra karI samAjanI anya bahenone sahAyabhUta thavA mATe strI-vikAsagRhanI prathama sthApanA karI. samAjamAM anAtha, vidhavA ane tyajAyelI strIonA rakSaNa ane svAvalaMbananuM kArya A saMsthA dvArA hAtha dharyuM. tyAre temane samAjano ane strIonAM sagAMvahAlAMno ghaNo sAmano karavo paDyo. paraMtu temanI kAryazailI puruSanA puruSAtana jevI hatI. vibhAga-7 146 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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potAne je sahana karavuM paDyuM teno bodha grahI temaNe anya strIone te muzkelIomAMthI ugArI sannArItvanI jyota jalAvI. temanuM A satkArya bhAratadezanuM gaurava hatuM. svabhAve prakhara chatAM zAMta gaMbhIra ane buddhisaMpanna hatAM. haMmezAM kALI sADI ane sapheda blAujha paheratAM. eka vAra kahe : kAgaDAno raMga kALo, bole kA kA karI, paraMtu vijhA paNa vaheMcIne khAya. kA kA kA karIne kAga mitrone bolAve. bhale teno raMga kALo paNa udAra kharo. Ama kALA raMgano guNa kahetA. AthI lAgatuM ke teo kevA guNagrAhI che? strIonA rakSaNa ane svAvalaMbananuM kArya strI-vikAsagRha dvArA hAtha dharIne strIsamAjamAM strInA utkarSa dvArA temaNe ghaNI cAhanA meLavI hatI. kharekhara te samayanA puruSonI sAme nirbhaya ane daDha manobaLathI potAno prabhAva TakAvI rAkhatA. temanA sahakArathI amAruM kArya vikasyuM hatuM. temane kema bhulAya ? prathama divase zuM banyuM? : e pramANe pU. paMDitajInA AziSa laI, bApujIne jANa karI basamAM barAbara a.ji.paM.nA makAnamAM kAryAlaye pahoMcI. tyAM paTAvALo beTho hato. teNe mArA khAdInAM sapheda jADAM kapaDAM joIne mAnI lIdhuM ke huM nokarI meLavavA AvI chuM. teNe ArAmathI beThA beThA ja mane javAba Apyo ke "bahena, ahIM koI jagA khAlI nathI ane je baheno kAma kare che temane cha mAsathI pagAra maLyo nathI.' huM paNa vicAramAM paDI ke mAre tene zuM kahevuM ? huM nokarI mATe nathI AvI, ceramena thaIne AvI che tema bolI na zakI. e to ArAmathI koInI sAthe vAta karavA lAgyo. tyAM to jillA paMcAyatanI ophisethI paTAvALo kahevA Avyo ke puSpAbahenano phona che ke tyAM sunaMdAbahena Avaze. te have tamArI jillA samitinA ceramena che. temane besADajo." kAryAlaya? (nAnI oraDI) kAryAlayano paTAvALo samajI gayo A havenAM ceramena sunaMdAbahena che. tarata ja netaranI tUTI gayelI khurazI sApha karI jarjarita Tebala sApha karyuM. huM tenA para beThI. svAgatamAM eka khUNAmAM dhULa khAto ghoDo (sTenDa) ane tenA para paMdara-vIsa phAIlo paNa aNa-UghaDI dhULa khAtI paDI hatI. bIjI eka pATalI, pANInI mATalI ane eka-be pavAlAM hatAM. jIpa mArI maMgalayAtrA 147 vibhAga-7

Page #163
cAra vhIla utArelI paDI hatI. A kAryAlayanI sAmagrI hatI. teNe kahyuM ke cha mAsathI ceramena AvatA nathI. samitinA sabhyo sAthe kaMI vAMdho paDyo che. eTale koI sabhyo paNa AvatA nathI, ane zikSikAo pagAra levA Ave che te pAchA jAya che. tame ceramena tarIke AvyA te sAruM thayuM. have kaMI kAma thaze. ane te mArI sAme pATalI para beTho. huM to manamAM mUMjhAtI hatI ke A ghaMTa meM kyAM gaLe bAMdhyo? aDadhA kalAka pachI eka prauDha bhAI AvyA. teo amadAvAda jillA paMcAyatanA pramukha hatA zrI choTubhAI paTela. pitA jevI temanI pratibhA hatI. jillAmAM temanAM kAryo vaDe teo lokapriya hatA. gAMdhIjInI vicArasaraNIvALA hatA. temaNe kahyuM haze eTale eka bIjA bhAI paNa AvyA. mArI pAse to A kAmanuM jJAna na hatuM. eTale kaMI vAta paNa na hatI. kAryAlaya zaheramAM hatuM paNa kAryakSetra gAmaDAM hatAM. teoe vAta zarU karI ke baLatuM ghara kRSNArpaNa jevuM che. amAre jUnA ceramena sAthe meLa na hato, paNa tamane jarUra sAtha ApazuM. A samiti dvArA pAMca gAmamAM bALamaMdira cAle che, te ApaNe joIzuM. vaLI tamane kAryAlayamAM kAmamAM sahAya kare evA eka nirIkSakabahena paNa maLaze. teo gayA pachI meM phAIlo mAMgI te dhULa khaMkherIne paTAvALAe ApI. paNa e badhuM aMgrejImAM hatuM tethI meM pAchI mUkI. kAraNa ke mane aMgrejI AvaDatuM na hatuM. prathama divase mane ema ke kAryAlayanA samaya sudhI besavuM paDe. eTale 11 vAge pahoMce 6 vAge ghare jauM. basamAM javAAvavAnuM hatuM. A cha-sAta kalAkanuM karavuM zuM? vAMcavAnuM pustaka laI jatI. pANI sAthe laI jatI. paNa kaMI snAnAgAra ochuM laI javAya ? manamAM thatuM ke A badhuM kema goThavAze. paNa samAja-mAnavasevAnA bhAva hatA eTale TakavA prayatna karatI. pachI to khyAla Avyo tethI bapore be vAgyAthI pAMca vAgyA sudhI jatI. samitimAM zrI cInubhAI zAha utsAhI, kAryakSama hatA. teo roja bapora pachI Ave. temanI vAtomAMthI phalita thayuM ke prathama pagAranI jogavAI thAya to kAma saraLa bane. mane thayuM ke kAma karavuM che to ghasAvuM paDe eTale lagabhaga pAMca hajAra meM mArA potAnA kAryAlayamAM ApyA. pagAra cUkavAyA. pachI dilhIthI maMjUrI meLavI lagabhaga cha mAse jIpa ripaeNra karI. pagAra maLyA, nirIkSakabahena tyA DrAIvaranI maMjUrI maLI. kAryAlayamAM cetana AvyuM. zikSikAonI avarajavara thaI. samitinA vibhAga-7 148 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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bIjA sabhyo AvavA lAgyA. saune lAgyuM ke jADAM khAdInAM kapaDAMmAM garIba jevAM dekhAtAM bahena gharanAM saMpanna ane mananAM udAra che tethI sauno utsAha paNa vadhyo. jUnI samitinA sabhyoe nakkI karyuM ke ApaNe borDane batAvIe ke kAma karavA amArI taiyArI che, AthI samitie utsAhapUrvaka mane sAtha Apyo. cInubhAI patravyavahAra aMgrejImAM saMbhALatA. kAryakramonI ujavaNI dvArA batAvavAnuM hatuM ke samitinA sabhyo kAryakSama che. AthI A bhAIoe sau prathama pAMca gAmanA sarapaMca, zikSikAo, sabhyo ane anya nAgarikonI lAMbhAmAM mArA sanmAna mATe eka sabhA yojI. temAM saue khUba utsAha batAvyo. vaktAonuM vaktavya pUruM thayuM. saMcAlake kahyuM have ceramenanuM pravacana thaze. huM to manamAM kaMI bhAMjagaDamAM hatI ane ahIM ceramena huM chuM te to khabara na hatI. eTale beThI hatI tema ja besI rahI. tyAre pelA bhAI mane kahe : bahena tame have sabhAne saMbodhana karo. DisembaramAM prathama pravacanamAM parasevo thayo : mAro khyAla che A lagabhaga 1958no Disembara hato paNa mane to parasevo vaLyo. mane thayuM huM kyAM bharAI paDI ! chatAM UbhI thaI. pahelAMnA vaktAoe bhASaNo karelA teno thoDo khyAla rAkhI mAMDa pAMca vAkyo bolI : ""mAre gAmaDAM prathama ja jovAnAM che. mane khAsa anubhava nathI paNa ApaNe sau sAthe rahIne suMdara kAma karIzuM." saue tALIothI vidhAvI. A kAmanI khAsa AvaData nahi. vaLI thoDuM kAma zarU karyuM pachI thoDI mUMjhavaNa thaI. dhArmika abhyAsanuM zuM ? pU. paMDitajI mane kahe : jAo tamArI buddhipratibhA che. eTale kAma kAmane zIkhavaze. hamaNAM to cAlu rAkhajo." meM kahyuM : ApanI pAse zikSaNakAryane bAdhA pahoMcaze. teo kahe e pachI joIzuM. pU. paMDitajInA zubhAziSa, bodha ane temanI satyaparAyaNatAnI labdhie mane trIsa jevA varSanI sevAmAM niSkAmatAnI bhAvanA ApI. vaLI jyAre jyAre samaya maLe tyAre tyAre lagabhaga bapore ke sAMje jAuM. bodha meLavuM, vAMcana karuM. vizeSa karIne mananI svasthatAnuM baLa maLI rahetuM. have huM prasanna rahetI. samitinA anya kAryakarono ullAsa sahakAra : samitinA sabhyo, nazAbaMdhI Ayojana samiti ane jillA mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-7 149

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paMcAyatanA pramukha, saue mane sahakAra Apyo. e saMsthAonA dara mAse grAma vistAramAM kAryakrama hoya. temAM mane acUka sAthe laI jAya. e rIte mane ghaNuM zIkhavA maLyuM. a.ji.paMcAyatanA pramukhe te vakhate so gAmamAM boriMga karavAnuM saune vacana ApyuM hatuM. mane paNa kevuM sUjhayuM ! meM kahyuM tame je je gAmomAM boriMga karo tyAM tyAM bAlamaMdira mATe paNa kaho. pachI to mane te viSe bhASaNa karavAno samaya ApatAM. te mATe ghera gAMdhIjI, vinobAjI, ravizaMkaradAdAnuM sAhitya vAMcI-gokhIne jatI ane saMtoSajanaka bhASaNa ApatI. pachI anekavidha kAryakramo UjavAtA. roje chApAmAM nAma Ave, phoTA Ave tethI mArI prasiddhi paNa thaI. eTale kAmane vega maLyo. mane A badhuM gamatuM, bhAvatuM ane phAvatuM thaI gayuM. muMbaIthI amadAvAda pAchA AvavAnuM thayuM tyAre agAu jaNAvyuM tema zArIrika nabaLAI hatI. 1958mAM amadAvAda jillAnAM gAmaDAMomAM pharavAnuM, kAryakarono sahavAsa, kAryano umaMga, savizeSa gAmaDAMnA cokhkhAM ghI-dUdhano khorAka maLato tethI zArIrika nabaLAI dUra thaI vajana vadhavA lAgyuM. davAo to sAta dasakA pUrA thayA tyAM sudhI jarUra na paDI. TUMkamAM paropakAranI niHsvArthabhAvanAno AnaMda hato. sevAkAryamAM aMtaranI vAta : eka to saMpanna ghara, khAsa zarIra kasAyeluM nahi, ane gAMdhIjI jevAnuM sIdhuM sAnnidhya-baLa nahi. eTale anya kAryakaro kArya mATe game tyAM jaI game tevA saMyogomAM kAma karatAM temAM mArI maryAdA rahetI. chatAM paNa mArI bhAvanA hatI tethI kArya to khUba vikasyuM. samAjanuM eka nabaLuM aMga vidhavA, tyakatA, nirAdhAra parAdhInatAne kAraNe, lAcArIne kAraNe duSTa tattvono bhoga banatI, tevI bahenone svAvalaMbana maLyuM. jIvanamAM taka maLI. teno AnaMda hato. AthI mane eka saMtoSa hato ke mAruM duHkha bhUlavAno, samayanA saddaupayogano mAre mATe sAro avasara hato. e bahenonAM duHkha pAse mAre kaMI duHkha na hatuM. vAstavikapaNe kahuM to mane to e bahenonI duA ja maLI che, je Aja sudhI mArA tana-manane adazya sahAya kare che. - temAM paNa anubhavI zrI puSpAbahena mahetA, cArubahena yoddhA, IndumatIbahena zeTha, saralAdevI sArAbhAI, maNibahena paTela jevA sAthIo pAsethI ghaNuM zIkhavA maLyuM. kAryane ThIka saphaLatA maLI. Aje e kAma cAlu che. lagabhaga 1OjevAM bahenone svAzrayI jIvana maLyuM, hajAro vibhAga-7 150 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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bALako pAyAnuM zikSaNa pAmyA, te moTo lAbha hato. gAmaDAMmAM bALakonuM prAthamika zikSaNa pAMca varSe cAlu thatuM. eTale traNathI pAMca varSanAM bALakone ramata sAthe zikSaNa saMskAra maLe tevAM bAlavADIbAlamaMdironI jarUra hatI. tenI 158mAM samiti dvArA pAMca bAlavADIo cAlatI hatI. meM 1960mAM navI pAMcanI mAMgaNI karI te maMjUra thaI. Ama kAma vikasatuM thayuM. te uparAMta dilhI samAja kalyANa borDamAMthI suMdara sahakAra maLyo, ane grAnTa paNa maLI. jethI kAma karavAmAM ghaNI saraLatA thaI. A lakhuM chuM te samaya 19pa7/1958 lagabhagano. amadAvAdathI dasa mAIla pachI gAmomAM javAnA rastA kAcA, comAsAmAM baMdha thAya; pachI evA khADA-TekarA thaI jAya ke eka adhikArI mane kahetA ke jo peTamAM epenDikasa hoya to maTI jAya, ane na hoya to thAya kharuM. eka vAra jaIne AvIe tyAre dhULamaya thayelAM kapaDAM tarata ja badalavA paDe. chatAM dara saptAhe gAmaDAMmAM javAnuM thatuM. comAsAnA cAra mAsa... gAmonA rastA kAdavathI kharaDAI jatA. tyAre naMdanavananI upamA ahIM eLe jatI. chatAM jIpane kAraNe suvidhA rahetI. joke koI vAra jIpa paNa pANImAM ke kAdavamAM khUMpI jatI tyAre baLado maMgAvIne bahAra kaDhAvavI paDatI. chatAM kArya karavAno utsAha, ane pariNAma dekhAvAthI A kAryamAM AnaMda Avato. grAmajanonA bhAva, temanA dUdha, roTalA khAIne mArI tabiyata paNa sudharI gaI, te lAbha moTo hato. zrI IndumatIbahena zeThanA pramukhapaNAthI amadAvAda jillA samAjakalyANa saMghanI sthApanA (1960) : Ama jillA paMcAyatanA pramukha zrI choTubhAI tathA anya sabhyo sAthe amAruM kAma thoDA vakhatamAM vistAra pAmyuM. vyavasthita goThavAI gayuM. AthI samitinA sabhyoe vicAryuM ke have tAlukAne badale jillAmAM A kAryano vistAra karavo. tethI zrI IndumatIbahena zeThanA pramukhapaNA nIce ame 1960mAM amadAvAda jillA samAja kalyANa saMghanI sthApanA karI. bhAratabharamAM bAlavikAsa kSetre A saMsthAnI prathama haroLamAM khyAti hatI. hajAro bALako dhULamAM ghUmavAne badale kAlI kAlI bhASAmAM gAtAM, nAcatAM, saMskArayukta thayAM. Aje te sau paNa kuTuMba-parivAravALA ane khAdhepIdhe saMpanna che. mArI maMgalayAtrA 151 vibhAga-7

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A kArya karatAM eno saMtoSa hato ke seMkaDo dukhiyArI bahenone ane grAmavistAranAM hajAro bALakone zaikSaNika kSetre UjaLuM jIvana jIvavAnI taka maLI che. baheno dInahIna dazAthI mukta thayAM che. vaLI mArI vicAradhArA pramANe ame varSamAM dasa divasanI eka zibira rAkhatAM. temAM A bahenone temanA zikSaNa sAthe, guNasaMpanna kema thavuM tenuM zikSaNa ApatAM. vaLI saMsthAnA grAmavistAranA nirIkSaka tarIke kAma karatA. maMdAbahena zAha khUba kuzaLa ane sanniSTha hatA. tethI pravRttiono vikAsa thato rahyo. A sarve kAryo karavAmAM, sarakArI grAMTo meLavavAmAM kaMIka saMgharSo ke aTapaTAM kAryo karavA paDatAM, tyAre samAdhAna e thatuM ke duHkhI bahenonA lAbhamAM che. ApaNe kaMI levuM nathI. zrI indumatIbahenano saMkSipta paricaya : zrI indumatIbahena cImanalAla zeTha gujarAtanA gAMdhIyuganA sevAbhAvI sAmAjika kAryakara hatAM. ati zrImaMtAImAM UcharelAM, saMskArasaMpanna ane kartavyaniSTha hatAM. lagabhaga naveka dasakA pahelAMnA jamAnAmAM paNa kaoNlejano abhyAsa karelo. gujarAtabharamAM prasiddha sI. ena. vidyAvihAra te temanA pitAzrInI sthApita saMsthA Aje paNa ghaNI prasiddhi dharAve che. teoe tenA vikAsamAM ghaNo phALo Apyo hato. mahAtmA gAMdhIjInA satyAgraha vigere AMdolanomAM sakriya bhAga lIdho hato. te kAryanI niSThA mATe AjIvana kaumAryavrata svIkAryuM hatuM. jelavAsa bhogavyo hato. deza AjhAda thayA pachI racanAtmaka kArya mATe saMsthAonI sthApanA karI hatI. ane pote anekavidha saMsthAomAM potAnI sevAo ApatAM. lagabhaga rAtridivasa temanuM jIvana sevAmaya hatuM. amArI saMsthAnA vikAsa ane vistAra mATe thoDA sabhyoe nirNaya karyo ke amadAvAda jillA samAja kalyANa saMghanI sthApanA karavI. tene mATe kuzaLa, sevAbhAvI ane A kSetramAM kSamatA dharAvatI vyakti mATe ame vicAra karatAM hatAM. te mATe zrI indumatIbahenane vinaMtI karI. temaNe saharSa saMmati ApI. temanA pramukhapaNA nIce amane ghaNuM mArgadarzana maLatuM. amAruM kAma ghaNuM vikasyuM. teo amArI sAthe grAmavistAramAM pharatAM, ane ghaNo sAtha ApatAM. teo potAnA jIvanakALa sudhI potAnI sevAo ApatAM rahyAM hatAM. huM jyAre lagabhaga 1980mAM temane mArI nivRttinI vAta karatI tyAre kahetAM : A dharma nathI ! ekalA nivRtta thavuM e ja dharma che ? tyAre vibhAga-7 upara mArI maMgalayAtrA

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huM temane bhagavAna mahAvIranA bodhanI vAta kahetI, tyAre kahetAM : bhale e badhuM karo paNa A kAma to tamAre karavAnuM che. prema ane gaMbhIratAthI kahetAM tyAre huM paNa temane dubhavI zakatI nahi. temanI vAta mAnIne thoDAM varSo kAma ane nivRtti ema mAro krama jaLavAto. teoe mArA jIvanamAM A kSetre vaDIla jevI hUMpha ApI che temane kema bhulAya? teo rAjyanA keLavaNI maMtrI tarIke nimAyAM tyAre paNa A saMsthAnA pramukhapaNAne jArI rAkhyuM hatuM. 2mAbahena jhaverI mAnad maMtrI : teo kaThavADAmAM rahetAM hatAM temane khetI tathA dUdhanI DerI hatI. teo mArI sAthe kAmamAM joDAyAM hatAM. ramAbahena khUba saMpanna kuTuMbanAM hatAM. temanAM dAdIsAsu gaMgAbA jhaverI jemane gAMdhIjInuM sAnnidhya ane saMskAra maLyAM hatAM. jelavAsa bhogavyo hato. Ama ramAbahenane temanA taraphathI paNa samAjasevAnI bhAvanA maLI hatI. pote kuzaLa ane kAryakSama hatAM. jIvana samRddha chatAM sAduM hatuM. AthI amArA baMneno meLa barAbara sacavAto. dareka kAmamAM pUro sahakAra ApatA. Akhare huM nivRtta thaI paraMtu teoe to A kArya barAbara nibhAvI rAkhyuM. AmAM temanA pati navInabhAI jhaverIno ghaNo sAtha hato. zrI maNibahena paTela (sANaMdavALA) : teo A saMsthAnA sabhya hatAM. grAmavistAramAM pharavAmAM khUba sAtha ApatAM. zaheranA sabhyo kAryAlaya pUratI hAjarI ApatA. maNibahene zrI saMtabAlajI pAse grAmasevAkAryano bhekha lIdho hato. dalita vargamAM vizeSa kArya karatAM. teonI kAryasUjha ane hiMmata prazaMsanIya hatI. amadAvAda jillAmAM teo sanmAnIya hatA. tethI mane prAraMbhamAM temano sAtha upayogI rahyo. sAthe pharIe eTale keTalI jIvanakathAo paNa carcAtI. eka vAra kahe huM to sAsare ghara ne vara joyA vagara ja vidhavA thaI chuM. huM to ghaDIbhara sAMbhaLI ja rahI. arthAt ghoDiyA lagna thayelAM. ane pati to bAra varSanI vaye ja mRtyu pAmyo. tyAre teo nava varSanAM hatAM. vaLI pUrvanA saMskAra, ane te vakhate gAMdhIjInAM racanAtmaka kAryono vega dezabharamAM phelAyelo hato. avasara maLatAM teo temAM joDAI gayAM. pU. saMtabAlajI pAse zikSaNa pAmyAM. ane pUrI jiMdagI teoe mArI maMgalayAtrA 153 vibhAga-7

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grAmavistAramAM mUka sevaka tarIke kArya karI e ja bhAvanAmAM gAMdhInagaranA koI kAryAlayamAM hRdayaroganA humalo thatAM thoDA samayamAM dehano tyAga karyo. temano sAtha-sahakAra Aje paNa mArI smRtimAM aMkita che. grAmavistAranA tyaktA, vidhavA vigere bahenonuM zikSaNakArya : amane mukhya muzkelI hatI gAmaDAmAM zikSaNanI yogyatAvALI baheno maLatI nahi. tethI borDanI zikSikA tAlImanI yojanA lIdhI. amAre te yojanA grAmavistAramAM karavI paDe. te mATe ramAbahenanA prayatnathI kaThavADA gAma pAse tyAMnA koI udyogapatinI DerInI khAlI paDelI jagyA hatI, jemAM mANaso ane pazuo mATenAM makAno hatAM te amane mAphIthI vAparavA maLyAM. ame tyAM samArakAma karI zikSikA tAlIma zarU karI. moTA bhAganI baheno duHkhI, daridri ane tyaktA hatI. temanA jIvananI kathanIonuM eka alaga pustaka lakhyuM che. tAlimArthI baheno dukhiyArI hatI. temanA mana asvastha hatA. ame temane khUba premathI mosALa ke piyara AvyAM hoya tema rAkhIe. traNathI cAra varSe teo pramANapatra sAthe taiyAra thatAM, ane gAmaDAnI bAlavADImAM zikSikA tarIke kAme lAgI jatAM. jIvana svAvalaMbI banatAM, temanA jIvanamAM jhaLakATa Avato. grAmavistAramAM bALakone zikSaNa maLatuM. amadAvAda jillA samAja kalyANa saMghanI sthApanA pachI, kAryano vega vadhyo. have lokasaMparka paNa ghaNo raheto, eTale kAryAlayanA makAna mATe Ayojana karyuM. sau prathama meM rU. 15,000-00 ApyA. jemAM, jillA paMcAyatanI sahAya ane phALo bhegAM karI bhadramAM jillA paMcAyata dvArA maLelI jagAmAM ja traNa mALanuM makAna bAMdhyuM. 1958mAM gAmaDAMmAM khAsa samajaNa ApI bALamaMdira cAlu karAvavA paDatAM hatAM. paNa e bALamaMdiro dvArA jillAmAM cAre bAju amArI saMsthAnI prasiddhi thaI eTale have grAma paMcAyato pote ja bAlavADI mATe mAMgaNI karatI. Ama bIjAM dasa varSamAM sono AMkaDo bevaDo thayo. A kAryamAM cInubhAI tathA jillA paMcAyatanA pramukha vaDIlanI jema sAtha ApatA. vaLI sANaMdavALAM maNibahena paTela to gAmaDe gAmaDe pharavAmAM khuba sAtha ApatAM. grAmasevAkAryamAM teo kuzaLa hatAM. bahenonI ApavItI ghaTanAo : jemAM badhA prasaMgo AlekhyA che te pustakanuM nAma hatuM "nArIjIvananA taDakA ne chAyA." ahIM ekAda-be dAkhalo ApuM. eka vidhavA vibhAga-7 154 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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bahena uMmara 28 varSanI, cAra bALako mUkIne bhaNavA AvelI. AvakanuM koI sAdhana nahi. eka bALaka mosALa, be bALako sAsu pAse, cothuM bALaka bahenane tyAM. vicAra karIe to tenuM mana bhaNavAmAM kevI rIte lAge ? koI vAra bALako yAda Ave ane raDe. vaLI tenA jevI ja duHkhiyArI bahenone joI AzvAsana meLave. teNe be varSa bhaNavAnAM purAM karyA bALakone laI gAmaDe gaI. kAme lAgI pagAra meLavI kaMIka hAza anubhavI. bIjI bahenane patie bALavA prayatna karelo, bacI gayelI, te paNa bhaNI ane kAme lAgI; AnaMdathI svAvalaMbanathI jIvatI thaI. eka bahena potAnI bahenanI suvAvaDa karavA gayelI, banevInI lAlacano bhoga banI. kuMvArI mAtA thaI bALakane AzramamAM mUkyuM. te bhaNIne kAme lAgI. vaLI koI thoDI saMpannatAvALA paNa bALakonA zikSaNane pahoMcI vaLavA, bhaNIne nokarIe lAge. eka bahena rUpALI, kuzaLa ane caMcaLa. pati zAMta eTale phAve nahi. jyAM tyAM phare. tene nokarI ApI ke mana zAMta thaze eTale goThavAze. paNa te koI puruSanI sobate caDhI gaI. tene eka bALakI thaI. puruSano moha chUTI gayo. ghaNA jhaghaDA thatA. te tene jUnAgaDha jaMgalamAM laI gayo ane tenA bALakane tathA bAIne mArI nAMkhI. eka vAra eka bahena ghare maLavA AvI. tenuM mukha dardathI bhareluM hatuM. kema AvI chuM ? "mane sAsare duHkha che. pati mAre che, tene sAsu sAtha Ape che. traNeka varSano dIkaro che tene mUkIne nokarI mATe AvI chuM. mArAM mAtApitA atyaMta garIba che. tyAM jaIne zuM karuM? sAsarethI kahyA vagara AvI chuM. pAchI jAuM to mAraze." te divase ravivAra hato, meM kahyuM kyAM rahe che, ""dhoLakA gAma sAsaruM che." Aje to ravivAra che, kAryAlaya baMdha che. tuM kAle kAryAlaye Avaje kayA gAme tane nokarI mUkavI te mane khabara nathI. ane kAgaLo taiyAra karavAM paDe tethI tuM kAle mane kAryAlaye maLaje. te sAMbhaLI te thoDakI kSaNo vicAramAM paDI, kyAM jAuM ? meM tene kahyuM ke tuM Aje ahIM rahI jA. ema kahI tene kaMI khAvAnuM mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-7 155

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ApyuM. thoDI vAra pachI te UThI, kahe huM kAle kAryAlaye AvIza. tenA bhAvimAM kaMI juduM ja lakhyuM haze ? traNa divasa pachI samAcAra AvyA ke te bahenane sAsu ane patie mArI nAMkhI che. tapAsa karAvI to gAmamAMthI jANavA maLyuM ke kaMI thaI zake tema nathI. anumAna karatAM ema lAgyuM ke teNe vicAra karyo haze ke bALaka mUkIne AvI chuM, kAle nokarI maLaze eTale sAthe rAkhI zakIza. tethI bALakane levA gaI haze. be divasathI kahyA vagara nIkaLelI tethI patie krodhe bharAIne mArI nAkhavA prayatna karyo haze. sAsue sAtha Apyo haze. Ama bicArInuM jIvana TUMkAI gayuM. AvA prasaMgo koI bahenonA jIvanamAM banatA tyAre lAgatuM ke AvI strI-vikAsanI saMsthAo A bahenone mATe mAtRgRha jevI hoya che je temane svamAnabhera jIvatA zIkhavAnI taka Ape che. duHkhiyArI, samAjathI kuTuMbanI tarachoDAyelI bahenone amArA karmacArIo sAtha ApatA. ame premathI AvakAratA. chatAM teonI bhUlo thatI tyAre temane yogya zikSA paNa maLatI. chatAM ekaMdare UMDANanA so mAIlanA vistAramAM patharAyelA kAmano sAro vikAsa thayAno saMtoSa che. Ama, A kAmamAM ghaNuMbadhuM AvuM banatuM. paNa e bahenonI jarUriyAta evI hatI ke A kAmonuM sAhasa karavuM paDatuM. moTe bhAge to grAmajanonA sahakArathI sukhada pariNAma ja AvatAM. navuM zikSaNa laI hasatAM-ramatAM pAchAM potAne sthaLe pahoMcI jatAM, potAnuM kArya kuzaLatAthI karatAM. A kSetre strIne jokhamadArI kharI : strI puruSa mATe bhogya vastu che tevI puruSanI mAnyatAthI strIne ghaNuM jAgrata rahevuM paDe. temAM vaLI strI ekalI hoya, asahAya hoya tyAre durjana puruSa teno lAbha uThAvavA prayatna kare. kAmukatAnI mAjhA mUke tyAre strI kharekhara muzkelImAM mukAya. temAM jo duSTa manuSyanI najare caDI to strIne potAnuM zIla pALavuM paNa durghaTa thaI jAya. temAM strIoe paNa potAnA sattvane ane zIlane jALavavAnAM che. AkarSaka hAvabhAva, nirlajja vastraparidhAna jevA kAraNe puruSa strIno geralAbha uThAvavA utsuka thAya che. tenA pariNAme kuMvAruM mAtRtva jevuM vibhAga-7 mArI maMgalayAtrA 156

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duSTa pariNAma strIe ja bhogavavuM paDe che. strI-puruSanuM yauvana kevaLa bhoga mATe nathI te baMne pakSe samajavuM jarUrI che. savizeSa strIoe manobaLa keLavIne paNa puruSanA duSTabhAvane AdhIna na thavuM joIe. sAmAjika, kauTumbika ke dhArmika kSetre paNa kAmajanita vRttithI, vijAtIya saMbaMdhothI strI-puruSa baMne durAcAra seve che. pariNAme strIne tenuM pariNAma bhogavavuM paDe che. grAma-vistAranAM amArAM kAmomAM A jokhama che, hatuM ane rahevAnuM. sAgaramAM mAchalAM anyonya athaDAya chatAM jaLamAM potAno mArga karI le che, tema strIoe svabaLe mArga karavo rahyo. vaLI have to strIone rakSaNa ApatI saMsthAono vikAsa thavAthI strIo mATe muzkelImAM mArga maLI rahe che. A kSetre mahadaMze puruSavarga sAthe kAma karavAnuM, puruSonI vicitra prakRtione jANIne, cetIne, cAlavAnuM. vaLI mArI sAthe kAma karanAra baheno lagabhaga yuvAna ja hoya. temane ekAkI gAmaDAmAM bAlamaMdira calAvavA mokalavAnA, puruSone vAraMvAra maLavAnuM, temanI kAmuktAthI bacavA sAvadha rahevAnuM. temAM A bahenone ghaNuM sattva sAcavavuM paDatuM. yadyapi be-pAMca prasaMgo jatA karIe to ema kahevuM paDe ke gAme gAme sajjanatAno sAro sahakAra maLato. vaLI A baheno paNa gAmamAM anukuLa thaIne rahetI. mAnava pote ja apUrNa che eTale so TakA apekSA kevI rIte rakhAya ? chatAM Aje seMkaDo bahenone svAvalaMbana maLyuM ane hajAro bALakone bALavayamAM saMskAranuM zikSaNa maLyuM. A kAmamAM bahenone jyAre muzkelIo paDatI tyAre amArA karmacArIo temane sAtha ApI samAdhAna karI letA. maMdAbahena pote satvazALI hatA. saune samaja ApatA. amArA vakhatamAM gAMdhIjInA jIvanasaMdezanA AdarzanI asara hatI eTale mAnasevA ApavAnI bhAvanAvALAM bhAIbaheno A kSetramAM suMdara kAmagIrI bajAvatAM. Aje e bhAvanAo TakI che paraMtu vicAronuM ane AdarzonuM vaheNa kaMIka badalAyuM che. mAna, dhana ke sattAnA lobhe lokone AkarSita karyo che. chatAMya gAMdhIjInA AdarzonI paraMparA jaLavAI rahI che ane Aje paNa mAnavasevAnAM kAryo vikasatA jAya che. bALapravRttine vega : varSe eka vAra bAlavADInAM bALako jenuM chelluM varSa hoya temano mArI maMgalayAtrA 157 vibhAga-7

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bALameLo karatAM. amadAvAdanI cArebAjuno so mAIlano vistAra hato. sarapaMco sahakAra ApI bALako mATe vAhananI vyavasthA karI mokalatA. A bALako mATe ame vizALa jagyA mATe zALAnA makAnamAM Ayojana karatA lagabhaga be-traNa hajAra jeTalAM bALako AvatAM darekanI maMDaLI nATaka jevA kAryakramo rajU karatI. darekane nAma-gAmano billo alagaalaga raMgano lagAvavAmAM Avato, nahi to jo bALakone oLakhavAmAM bhUla thAya to bALaka eka gAmane badale bIje gAma pahoMcI jAya ane moTI muzkelI UbhI thAya. vaLI A bALakoe chUTA cAlavAnuM nahi. eka-bIjAnuM kapaDuM pakaDIne chUka chUka gADI karIne cAlavAnuM. - navA navA kAryakramo yojAya. rASTrapati, vaDApradhAna, mukhyapradhAna ane moTA hoddedAro Ave. moTI sabhA thAya. have to bhASaNa karatAM AvaDI gayuM hatuM. vaLI prasaMge chApAMmAM nAma Ave, phoTA Ave, prasiddha thAya. grAmajano khUba Adara Ape. zikSikA baheno to "mA" gaNe. saMsthAno lAkhono vahIvaTa paNa saraLatAthI cAle. kyAreka muzkelI thatI, chatAM badhuM pAra paDI jatuM. samitimAM sau Adara rAkhatA. eTale e kArya mAre mATe kevaLa mAnavatAnuM ke paropakAranuM, paNa rAjakAraNanI koI asara na hatI. te khAtAMo ja kAryanI suvyavasthA joI yogya sahAya karatA. senTrala ane sTeTa samAja kalyANa borDamAMthI sarakArI sahAya tathA grAma paMcAyatanI sahAyathI saMsthAnI sadhdharatA ane saMpannatA vRddhi pAmI hatI. gAMdhInagara jillA samAja kalyANa saMgha : vaLI gujarAta rAjyanI alaga sthApanA thaI. tyAre gAMdhInagara pATanagara tarIke astitvamAM AvyuM. ane jillA tarIke tenAM gAmonuM alaga sthAna UbhuM thayuM. A kAraNe grAMTanuM mALakhuM badalAyuM. eTale ame gAMdhInagara jillA samAja kalyANa saMghanI sthApanA karI. kAryAlaya to eka ja hatuM. Ama amadAvAda ane gAMdhInagaranA grAmavistAramAM so mAIla sudhI vistarelAM traNaso jevAM gAmomAM kAryanA vyavasthita saMcAlana mATe ame dareka kendra para chApelA sAhitya eka ja paddhatithI dareka zikSikAne ApatAM, jemAM dareka mahinAnI pAMca tArIkha sudhImAM teo sulekha hevAlahisAba mokalatAM. te dareka bahenone dara mAse pagAra ane kharcanI rakama samayasara maLe te mATe kAryAlaye tenI vyavasthA niyamita jaLavAtI. tenA vibhAga-7 158 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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lAkhonA hisAbano vahIvaTa oNDiTa karAvI dilhI borDane suprata karavAno raheto. AthI kAryAlayamAM paNa paMdara-vIsa karmacArIo kAma karatA. grAmavistAranuM nirIkSaNa karavA mATe alaga nirIkSako rAkhavAmAM AvatA. vahIvaTI kArya vyavasthita cAle teno huM Agraha rAkhatI tethI roje bapore 2 thI 6 kAryAlayamAM hAjara rahetI. prasaMge grAmavistAranI mulAkAta karavA jatI. vaLI have maMdAbahena grAmavistAranuM ghaNuM kAma saMbhALI letA. saMsthAnI pravRttinI rUparekhA : saMsthAnI pravRtti mukhyatve aDhIthI pAMca varSanAM bALakonuM pUrvaprAthamika zikSaNa, prauDha tathA silAI vargo, pUrva prAthamika mahilA zikSaNanI hatI. vaLI A kSetramAM grAmavistAranA AvA vargo calAvavA mATe zikSita baheno maLatAM nahi. AthI grAmavistAranAM ja bahenone zikSaNa ApI ame taiyAra karatAM. samAjathI tarachoDAyelI tathA dAridratAvasthAthI du:khI baheno mATe A saMsthA AzIrvAdarUpa hatI che. saMsthA dvArA temanuM svAvalaMbana thatuM. grAmavistAranAM bALakone zikSaNa tathA saMskAra maLatAM, bahenone silAI jevuM zIkhavA maLatuM. vaLI satsaMga ane bhaktinA kAryakrama thavAthI saMskAra maLatA. prathama pAMca gAmanI pravRttithI zarU thayeluM kArya eka dasakAmAM amadAvAda jillAnA so gAma sudhI pahoMcyuM. janatAmAM jAgRti AvavAthI bIjA dasakAmAM A AMkaDo bevaDo thayo. ane 1975 sudhImAM to lagabhaga traNaso gAmomAM A pravRtti vikAsa pAmI. grAma paMcAyata, tAlukA paMcAyata ane janatAnA sahakArathI lagabhaga dareka gAme pAkAM makAnonI sagavaDa thaI. kaNa vAvo maNa Uge tema saunI sadbhAvanA ane sahakArathI A pravRtti gujarAtabharamAM viziSTatA ane prazaMsanIya banI. DerInA makAnanI cAlatI pravRttio joIne te vistAranA saMpanna sajjanonI ane paMcAyatanI sahAyathI kaThavADA gAmanI hadamAM saMsthAnI mAlikInAM chAtrAlaya, mAdhyamika zALA vigere suMdara pravRttio cAle che. - svAvalaMbana maLatAM bahenonI zakti paNa yogya kSetre pragaTa thaI. Arthika sadhdharatA thaI. dara varSe A bahenonI dasa divasanI zibiranuM Ayojana karI, temanI sAthe pArivArika saMbaMdha keLavAto. navAM navAM Ayojana karI, temane dara varSe navuM zIkhavA maLatuM. je bALako ane baheno sudhI grAmavistAramAM vyApaka banatuM. mArI maMgalayAtrA 159 vibhAga-7

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vaLI senTrala borDano suMdara sahakAra maLavAthI bALakone sAttvika nAstAnuM suMdara Ayojana thatuM. grAmajanono suMdara sahakAra hato. huM to 198485thI A pravRttithI nivRtta thaI tyAre zUnyamAMthI thayeluM sarjana saMtoSajanaka ane AnaMdadAyaka hatuM. saMsthAnI Arthika saddharatA thaI hatI. have koI vAra darzanArthe te mArge jAuM tyAre gAmano dekhAva evo parivartana pAmyo che ke mane Azcarya thAya ke A e ja gAma che ! tyAM kAdava-kIcaDa jovA maLatAM keTalAMka gAmo hAIve para AvI gayAM che. pAkA rastA, pAkA makAna, phekTarIo jevA dhaMdhAno vikAsa thayo tema tema gAmajanatAno paNa amuka aMze vikAsa thayo che. - trIseka varSa A kArya karI aMtara dhvaninA AdhAre huM to nivRtta thaI. paraMtu ramAbahena vigere A pravRttine sArI rIte nibhAvI rahyAM che. e saunI "duvA" mArI sAthe che. mArI zubhabhAvanA temanI sAthe che. kAryanI phalazruti : vAstavamAM 1958mAM sAmAjika kAryano prAraMbha karyo tyAre jema eka daridrI kuTuMbanA jIvananI zarUAta hoya tevuM hatuM. paraMtu saunA sahakArathI kArya vikasyuM. rU. 100/- nA phaMDa mATe milamAliko pAse jatAM, phaMDaphALo karatAM. me mAsanI garamImAM gAmaDAMmAM jIpamAM pharatAM, varasAda paDI gayA pachI kAdava khUMdIne gAmomAM pharatAM. nadInA vaheLAmAM pANI Ave tyAre jIpa phasAI jatI, tyAre baLada bolAvI bahAra kaDhAvatA. have gAmegAma rastA pAkA thayA che, anya sagavaDo paNa thaI che. saMsthAnI saMpannatA vadhI che ane kSetrano vikAsa thayo che. grAmavistAramAM pratiSThA paNa vRddhi pAmI hatI. mAre have rAjakAraNamAM javuM tevI sau salAha ApatAM. vaLI dhArAsabhAnI beThaka mATe mane taka hatI. prathama najare paNa A beThakanI lAlaca thAya evuM mane na hatuM. tenuM mukhya kAraNa pU. paMDitajInI zIkha ane AjJA hatI. vaLI rAjakhaTapaTanA aTapaTA kAvAdAvAmAM mAruM sAhasa paNa nahi. paraMtu ji. paM. pramukhe jyAre dhArAsabhAmAM javAnuM svIkAryuM tyAre amArA kSetramAMthI temane kaMIka sahAyaka thaI hatI. te phakta temanA RNane kAraNe. AthI mu. morArajIbhAI desAI kahetA : khetI karIne khetarano pAka bIjAne Ape che ? arthAtu keTalo zrama karI grAmavistAramAM zikSaNa vigerenuM kArya karyuM, ane jyAre AvuM pada maLe che tyAre tame letAM nathI ? tyAre huM hasI letI. temane kaMI kahevA jevuM lAgatuM nahi. vibhAga-7 mArI maMgalayAtrA 160

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keTalIka aNadhArI Aphata AvatI : samAja kalyANa saMghamAM kAma karatAM aTapaTA prasaMgo banatA tyAre vyavahArika kuzaLatA pUrato ja vicAra Avato. paraMtu jene sAttvika ke tAttvika kahIe tevuM manobaLa kAma na karatuM te Aje anubhavuM chuM. te samaja mATe ghaNuM moDuM bhAna AvyuM. e prasaMga e hato ke saMghanA kAma mATe eka apaMgane sahAyabhUta thavA hisAbanIza tarIke rAkhyo. tene kAma mATe taiyAra karyo. teNe thoDA varasa kAma sAruM karyuM. dhaMdhukA bAjunAM gAmaDAMno mANasa darabAra jAtino hato. saMghano vahIvaTa krame karI daramAse lAkhonA hisAbano hato. temAM keTalIka rokaDa Ave. A mANasanI dAnata bagaDI, kadAca phIcara jevA dhaMdhe caDhayo haze ke kema? rokaDanI pahoMca Apato ane rakama copaDe caDhAvato nahi. cha mAse cArTarDa ekAunTanTa hisAba tapAsI jatA. temaNe joyuM ke lAkha rUpiyA jevI rakama jamA thaI nathI. A mANasa kaMI javAba na Ape. tenA ghare tapAsa karAvI to rakama ghare gaI ja nathI. tenA vaDIlane kahyuM ke jo A rakama jamA na thAya to kesa thaze. eTale teo gharamAM je kaMI dAgInA hatA te vecIne thoDI rakama bharI gayA chatAM moTI rakama bAkI hatI. amArA cArTarDa ekAunTanTa kahe : tame vakIlanI salAha lo. vakIla kahe : ceriTebala saMsthA che eTale tamAre kesa mAMDavo paDe. nahi to tamAre rakama bharavI paDe, vaLI rakama bharo to saMbhava che ke tamAro hisAbanIza kahe meM tamane ja rakama ApI hatI. Ama mAre to bheMsanAM zIMgaDAMmAM mAthuM bheravavA jevuM thayuM. kesa mAMDIne rakama maLavAnI na hatI. korTamAM mAre ja hAjara thavuM paDe. bhAre upAdhinuM kAma AvI paDyuM. mAnavatAnuM kArya karyAno AnaMda thoDI vAra mATe jhaMkhavAyo. paraMtu hiMmata hArI na hatI. A rakama kyAM mUkI, zuM thayuM ! teno pelo mANasa javAba na Ape. 2kama bharI zake tevI sthiti nahi. khetaro hatAM paNa teno vakIla tene kaMI vecavAnI salAha na Ape. eTaluM sAruM hatuM ke e bhalA hisAbanIze evuM nA kahyuM ke A rakama to maMtrIoe ja lIdhI che. amArA vakIlane evI zaMkA hatI, evo anubhava hato. paNa kesa to mAMDavo ja paDyo. nIcalI korTamAM dara mAse dhakkA khAvAno bhAre kaMTALo Avato. tyAre manane mArI maMgalayAtrA 161 vibhAga-7

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manAvatI ke A paNa kartavya che. vakIlane kahetI ke A mANasane sajA thAya tevuM huM IcchatI nathI. te thoDI rakama bhare to pachI kaMI rasto kADhIzuM. paNa vakIla kahe korTathI je nikAla Ave te jovuM paDe. be varSe nikAla Avyo : te mANasane sakhata kedanI sajA thaI. te sAMbhaLIne mane duHkha thayuM. jo pahelA vicAryuM hota to thoDI rakama ugharAvIne rasto nIkaLI zakyo hota. paNa tyAre evuM sUjhayuM nahi. vaLI TrasTanI javAbadArIthI te saMgata na hatuM. AthI e yuvAnane sAce mArge caDhAvavAnI taka ApavAnI bhAvanA chatAM mArI hiMmata na rahI. eka vAra eka daSTAMta vAMcyuM ke eka zeThe corI karanAra nokarane gAme jaIne bolAvyo. rakama mApha karI ane pAcho kAme caDhAvyo. evAM ghaNAM daSTAMta sAMbhaLyAM tyAre mAre mATe te moDuM hatuM. AvA udAtta vicAra karavAno saMskAra ghaDAyo na hato. vyavahAra pramANe kAma karavuM paDe paNa mANasane duHkhI karIne vyavahAra sAcavavAne badale thoDuM sahana karIne ke anya upAya karIne rasto kADhavo joIe tevuM Aje lAge che. chatAM saMsthAmAM saMsthAkIya upAya karavA saunI sAthe rahevuM paDyuM te hakIkata che. vastuno lagAva, pharajanuM bhAna, potAno yaza-apayaza, vyavahAru ukela AvAM ghaNAM kAraNo, AmAM bhAga bhajavatA hoya che. aMte evuM lAge che ke anya mANasane du:kha ApavAmAM sAtha na Apavo tevuM vicArabaLa keLavavuM joIe. to ja ApaNAM sattva ane tattva baLavAna rahe. khera. saMsAramAM je kaMI karIe temAM badhuM saraLa, sukhada ane sugama kyAMthI hoya? temAM muzkelI Ave te paNa nibhAvavI paDe ane hasate mukhe upAya karavA paDe. bhAvanA rAkhatI ke koIne duHkha na paDe. saune sadabuddhi maLe. yadyapi A kAraNathI saMsthAnI koI pravRttine kaMI AMca AvI nathI. apaMga mAnava maMDaLanI pravRtti : 1960mAM amadAvAda jillA samAja kalyANa saMghanI sthApanA pachI grAmavistAranuM kArya khUba vikAsa pAmyuM. A kAraNe sAmAjika kSetre mArI prasiddhi thatI. te samaye zirISa zAha je apaMgatA dharAvatA hatA paNa potAnI kuzaLatAthI korTanA nyAyAdhIza pade pahoMcyA hatA. bIjA kanubhAI mahetA je be page apaMgatA dharAvatA hatA. teo paNa potAnI buddhipratibhAthI grejyueTa thaI, aMbikA milamAM kAma karatA hatA. chatAM te divasomAM te baMne yuvAnone khUba musIbata naDI hatI. tevA anubhavane vibhAga-7 162 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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kAraNe temaNe anya apaMgonI sahAyatA mATe Arogya samiti, prItamanagaranI saMsthAmAM besI apaMgonI sevA mATe noMdhaNI zarU karI. te daramyAna temaNe mAruM nAma sAMbhaLI mane temanA kAryamAM sAtha ApavA vinaMtI karI. mane mAnavasevAmAM ruci hatI. AthI meM tarata ja temanI vAtane vadhAvI lIdhI. ekAda mAsa temanI sAthe carcAvicAraNA karI. meM kahyuM ke kAma karavuM hoya to ApaNI pAse kaMI sAdhana joIe. kevaLa noMdhaNIthI kAma na thAya. A vicAra meM a.ji. paMcAyatanA pramukha jemano mane saMghamAM ghaNo sathavAro hato, temane vAta karI teoe vA.sA. haoNspiTala sAme revAbAInI dharmazALAmAM amane patarAnA chAparAvALo nAno eka oraDo bAMdhI Apyo. ame temAM kAma zarU karyuM. apaMgonuM kArya karavAnuM kaMIka muzkela hatuM : a.ji.sA.ka.saMghamAM jema gharethI rakama ane sAdhana laIne kAma zarU karyuM hatuM tema apaMga mAnava maMDaLamAM paNa sau prathama gharethI thoDAM sAdhana laI gaI. chApAmAM jAherAta ApI ke apaMgonI sahAyatA mATe kAmano prAraMbha karyo che. to apaMgoe jAte AvIne maLI javuM. prathama divase traNa apaMga bhAIo AvyA. ekane paga nahotA, bIjAne besavAnI khoDa hatI, trIjo maMdabuddhi hato. ame temanI mulAkAta to lIdhI paNa zuM javAba ApIe? amane anubhava nahi. vaLI traNenI khAsiyata, khoDa paNa alaga prakAranI. e divase mAro utsAha ogaLI gayo. chatAM ema karatAM bIjA be-traNa apaMgo AvyA. ane silAI kAma zarU karAvyuM. vaLI phAIlo banAvavA jevuM kAma zarU karyuM. ati maMdagatie kAma thatuM. ame temane 1960mAM rojanA dasa rUpiyA ApatA. eka divasa basa sTenDe UbhI hatI tyAM traNa apaMga bhikhArI bhIkha mAMgatA hatA. temane bIje divase saMsthAmAM bolAvyA. e traNamAMthI be to bIjI vAra AvyA ja nahi, kAraNa ke temane bhIkhamAM rojanA vIsa rUpiyA jevuM maLatuM hatuM. ame rojanA dasa rUpiyA ApatA. AthI eka ja bhikhArI rahyo. tyAra pachI apaMga bhAI-baheno AvatAM thayAM. saMkhyA 25 upara thaI. amArI saMsthAnA pramukha zrI jayakRSNabhAIe amane vA.sA. haoNspiTalamAM moTA be oraDA apAvyA. sarakArI khAtAnuM silAI kAma ane phAIlonuM kAma amane maLatuM thayuM. ane apaMgone rojI maLatI gaI. vaLI DaoN. hasamukha zAha paNa A kAryamAM sahAyaka hatA. mArI maMgalayAtrA 163 vibhAga-7

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Ama patarAnA zeDa (ovanamAMthI) ame moTA oraDAmAM kArya karatA thayA. sauno sahakAra maLI raheto. apaMgo utsAhathI kAma karatA. temanuM nirvAha thaI jato. samAja kalyANa saMghane kAraNe mAre paNa sarakArI khAtA sAthe sAro paricaya hato. AthI amArA kAryane kAma ane grAMTa vigerethI ghaNo vega maLyo. vaLI amArA satsaMgI mitra kalyANabhAI trikamalAla paNa A saMsthAmAM joDAyA. pachI to ghaNI pratiSThita vyaktioe A saMsthAmAM pradAna ApyuM. dareka sabhyo tana, mana ane dhanathI paNa sahAya karatA. saunuM lakSya eka ja hatuM. apaMga bALakone suMdara jIvana jIvavAnI tako pUrI pADavI. tyAra pachI lagabhaga 1970mAM amane vastrAparanI hadamAM sarakArI khAtA taraphathI eka talAvaDI thoDI jagA sAthe mAphIthI maLI. najIkamAM jagA meLavavA ane pAMca varasathI ghaNI ophisomAM AMTA lagAvatA, chevaTe talAvaDIvALI jagA maLI. te jagA batAvavA kamizanarazrI kAMTAvALA mane laI gayAM. talAvaDIno moTo khADo joIne mArI AMkho sajaLa thaI gaI. teo kahe bahena, A jagA rUpiyA ekathI tamane ApavAmAM Ave che. tame betraNa varasa rAkho. pachI na joIe to pAchI soMpajo. teo anubhavI ane dIrdhadaSTivALA hatA. kharekhara Aje e jagA lAkhonA mUlyanI thaI che. vastrApuranI talAvaDI maLI te rAtre mane ghaNA vikalpo UThyA. tenI sAthe eka vikalpa UThyo ke sAco sevAbhAvI pAyAmAM purAya." ane mane thayuM ke huM atulane vAta karuM ke A khADo ApaNe purAvIe. teNe tarata ja saMmati ApI. 1970 mAM A khADo pUravAnA 25 hajAranuM kharca thayuM. jamIna samataLa thaI eTale tenA para eka moTo zeDa bAMdhI kAmakAja zarU karyuM, jemAM kevaLa udyoganI tAlIma ane apaMgonuM svAvalaMbana thatuM. te kAmo amane sarakArI khAtAmAMthI maLatAM. eka nizcita sthAna maLyuM eTale amAruM vicArabaLa vikasita thayuM. ame samAja kalyANa senTrala borDamAM arajI karI. borDa amane tAtkAlika badhI yaMtrasAmagrI ApI. pachI makAnanA plAna karyA. temAM saMsthAnA sabhyo, TrasTIo, senTrala borDa ane janatAnI sahAyathI paMdara oraDAnuM makAna bAMdhyuM. jemAM varkazopa, apaMganuM sAravAra kendra ane prAthamika zALA zarU karyA. tyAre amadAvAdamAM A eka ja saMsthA hatI. jayAM vividha pravRttio cAlatI. vibhAga-7 mArI maMgalayAtrA 164

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vaLI 1975mAM e ja pramANe sahAya meLavI be chAtrAlaya bAMdhyAM, kanyA ane kumArI baMne mATe A pravRtti cAlatI. temAM ATha varSathI vIsa-pacIsa varSanA vidyArthIo vidyArthinIo hatAM. tethI koI vAra jAtIyatAnA saMbaMdhothI prazno UbhA thatAM. AthI 1985 lagabhaga kanyA chAtrAlaya juduM bAMdhyuM. tyAra pachI to nANAMkIya rIte saMsthAno ghaNo vikAsa thayo. eka ja saMsthA dvArA kanyA, kumAra chAtrAlaya, prAthamika zALA, mAdhyamika zALA, udyogakIya tAlIma, sAravAra kendra, kayUTara paddhatithI zikSaNa vigere samagra pravRtti bhAratabharamAM koIka ja saMsthA dvArA yojita gaNatarInI saMkhyAmAM saMsthAo hatI. traNa vyaktiothI karelI zarUAta, Aje traNaso jevI apaMga vyaktione lAbha maLe che. apaMgo vadhavA e agatyanuM nathI paNa temane taka maLI te agatyanuM che. Ama jyAre huM nivRtta thaI tyAre saMsthAnI garIbAI nivArI zakAI hatI. saMsthAne aneka prakAranI sahAya maLatI thaI. ane vividha kSetre ghaNo vikAsa thato rahyo che. temAM koI vAra muzkelIo AvatI te nivArI letAM. vaLI ramAbahena jhaverI saMsthAnI najIka rahevA AvyAM hatAM. te paNa mArI sAthe mAnad maMtrI tarIke khUba sAruM kAma karatAM hatAM. zrI kAlindIbahena kAjI muMbaIthI AvI vasyAM hatAM. kolejanAM snAtaka hatAM. saMpanna kuTuMbamAMthI AvyAM hatAM. pati hAIkorTanA plIDara hatA. kAlindIbahena samAjasevAnI vRttivALA hatA tethI tenuM kSetra zodhatA hatA. baMne saMsthAonI kAryavAhI, aneka pravRttio chApAmAM prasiddha thatI. te AdhAre temaNe mane zodhI kADhI. eka divasa apaMga mAnava maMDaLanI saMsthAmAM pelA patarAnA zeDamAM AvIne UbhAM rahyAM. ""tame sunaMdAbahena ?" ""hA." "mAre samAjasevAnuM kAma karavuM che, tamAruM nAma sAMbhaLIne AvI chuM." meM kahyuM, "bahu sAruM. AnaMda thayo, amAre tamArA jevAnI jarUra che." pachI to teo roja be kalAka AvatA thayA. kuzaLa hovAthI tarata ja kAma upADI lIdhuM. nAnI moTI sarva bAbatomAM dilacaspIthI kAma kare. mane to eka sAthIdAra maLI gayA. teo aneka klaba jevA kSetronA sabhyapade tathA pati paNa kAryakSama eTale amArA kAmane ghaNo sahakAra ane dAna maLatAM. vAstavamAM saunA sahakArathI saMsthA ghaNI vikAsa pAmI. mArI maMgalayAtrA 165 vibhAga-7

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huM to nivRtta thaI. paraMtu kAlindIbahena kensaranA dardI chatAM chellA zvAsa sudhI temaNe saMsthAnI niHsvArthapaNe sevA jALavI rAkhI hatI. temanA parivArano artha-sahayoga paNa ghaNo moTo rahyo. apaMgone mATe have ghaNAM zaheromAM svamAnabharyuM jIvana jIvavA mATenI saMsthAo sthapAI che. kyAreka nirUpAyatA dekhAtI : vaLI zakya teTalI apaMgatA nivAravA tabIbI sAravAra apAtI. chatAM koI vAra teno upAya na thaI zake tevI paristhiti pedA thatI. eka vAra paMdareka varSanA yuvAnane laIne tenA pitA AvyA. tenA be hAtha na hatA. saMcAmAM vastu mUkatAM hAtha kheMcAIne chuMdAI gayA te kapAvavA paDyA hatA. atyAra sudhI amArI saMsthAmAM chevaTe eka hAtha hoya tevAM bALako hatAM, paNa be hAtha vagaranA bALakane kevI rIte rAkhavo ? tevo prazna mane thayo. be paga vagaranAM hatAM temane ame sagavaDa ApIne bhaNAvatAM hatAM. te bALaka kahe huM mAruM badhuM karI laIza; tame mane ahIM bhaNavA rAkho. tenI hiMmata parakhI ame tene saMsthAmAM rAkhyo. kharekhara te pote ja pagano upayoga hAthanI jema karato, kayAMya thoDI sahAya ke anya vidyArthIo ke mANaso karatA. jamavA mATe dALanI vATakI hoTha vaDe pakaDI, roTalI paNa te rIte pakaDI jamI leto. lakhavAnuM paga vaDe thoDuMka karato, pachI tene peInTaranI tAlIma ApI. temAM teNe kuzaLatA meLavI ane peInTarano dhaMdho karI zake tevo taiyAra thaI gayo. svAvalaMbI banyo. Ama koI vAra azakya paNa prayatnathI zakya banatuM. tyAre lAgatuM ke saMsthAo dvArA AvA keTalAye apaMgone suMdara taka maLe che. AthI apaMga yuvAna kaheto ke amArAM aMgo apaMga che paNa amArAM dila-dimAga apaMga nathI. amane taka maLe to ame svamAnathI jIvI zakIe tema chIe. koI vAra koI upAya jaDato nahi tyAre ame nirUpAya thatAM. eka vAra eka kanyAne laIne enAM mAtA-pitA AvyAM. dekhAve suMdara mukhAkRtivALI kanyAnA gaLA nIcenA badhA ja avayavo hADakAmAMsano kothaLo bharyo hoya tevA hatA tene UMcakIne ja badhuM karavuM paDatuM. vaLI uMmara paNa vIsa varSanI hatI. eTale zALAnuM zikSaNa paNa ApI zakAya vibhAga-7 166 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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nahi. hAtha-pagathI kaMI karI zake nahi tethI kaMI zIkhavI zakAya nahi. AthI AvI vyaktione praveza na ApI zakatAM. tyAre duHkha thatuM paNa upAya karI zakatA nahi. Ama dareka apaMga bALaka pAchaLa koI prasaMga chupAyelo paDyo che tenuM alaga pustaka lakhyuM che "eka mALAnA maNakAM." arthAtu dezabharamAM ane A saMsthAmAM AvA apaMgo haLImaLIne zikSaNa meLave che. karmacArIone kahetI tamane sAruM kAma karavAnI taka maLI che tema samajI kAma karo. ame kAryakaro to A bALakone vAtsalyathI AvakAratAM. emAM amane saMtoSa thato. apaMga mAnava maMDaLa viSenI vizeSa mAhitI : bhAratabharamAM prasiddhi pAmelI A saMsthAmAM apaMga bALaka praveza meLavatAM te lagabhaga ghaNI garIbImAMthI AvatAM. bImAra jevA hoya, AthI prathama tabIbo dvArA temanI zArIrika tapAsa karatA. tenI yogya sAravAra ApatA. prathama dhoraNamAM dAkhala thaI dasamA dhoraNa ke AgaLano abhyAsa karI, dhaMdhAkIya tAlIma meLavI svAvalaMbana sudhI pahoMcI jatA. A saMsthAnA ghaNA vidyArthIo UMcA hoddA para che. vaLI temanI apaMgatA zakya teTalI nivAravA sarjarI paNa karAvatA. saMsthAmAM orthopeDika sAravAra vibhAganI sagavaDa karelI che. eka vAra koI khAsa prasaMge saMsthAnA gRhapatie suMdara rajUAta karI hatI ke "A saMsthAnI jagA eTale vastrApuranI talAvaDI hatI. e jagA joIne sunaMdAbahenanI AMkhamAMthI be azru TapakyAM hatAM. te chIpamAM paDelA svAti nakSatranAM hatAM. temAMthI Aje keTalI motI jevI vyaktio pedA thaI che ! A eka-be bhAI to mAruti gADI rAkhe che ane vakIlanI kArakirdI dharAve che, bIjA bhAI gAMdhInagaranA sacivAlayanA sArA hoddA para che. keTalAka kalAkAra che. vyApArI che. Ama saMsthAmAMthI abhyAsa karIne motIo pAkayA che. e temanA azrubiMduno prabhAva mAnavo rahyo." lagabhaga 1984mAM maMDaLamAMthI meM nivRtti lIdhI. tyArapachI anya kAryakaroe ghaNo vikAsa karyo che. vaLI mane bhAvanA thatAM meM mAdhyamika zALAmAM satsaMgI mitro dvArA amerikAnI keTalIka sahAyathI sAta lAkhanI rakamanuM pradAna karyuM che. tethI saMsthAe sunaMdAbahena vohorA mAdhyamika mArI maMgalayAtrA 167 vibhAga-7

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zALA" ema nAmakaraNa karyuM che. Aje sauno sadbhAva e ja amArI mUDI che. vaLI saMsthAnI Arthika sadhdharatA paNa sthira thatI jAya che. bALakonA sarvAgI vikAsanA dhyeyathI sau sadUbhAvathI kArya karI rahyA che. hAlanA TrasTIjanonI AdarabharI bhAvanA hatI ke saMsthAmAM mArI sevAo ane dAnanA svIkAra sAthe eka pratikRti (bAvaluM) mukAya. temanI A bhAvanA mATe meM temano AbhAra mAnI zrI pArzvanAtha bhagavAnanuM citrapaTa prArthanA khaMDamAM mUkavA mokalI ApyuM. joke mAdhyamika zALA sAthe mAruM nAma joDyuM che. pU. paMDitajInI zIkhanuM A pariNAma hatuM ke manamAM mAnanA bhAva UpajatA nahi. Ama pacIsa varSa apaMgonA sevAkAryamAM nimitta thavAnuM banyuM. te saMtoSajanaka hatuM. saMsthAnI prAraMbhanI pravRttinA samaye DaoN. hasamukhabhAInI mAnad sevA prazaMsanIya hatI. vaLI DaoN. maNibhAI desAI jeo vA.sA. haoNspiTalamAM kArya karatA hatA teo A pravRttimAM khUba preraNA ApatA. kanubhAIe to saMsthAne jIvana arpaNa karyuM hatuM. teo nivRta thaI saMsthAmAM pUro samaya kAma karavAnI bhAvanA rAkhatA hatA. temanI A bhAvanA sAkAra thAya te pahelAM teo saMsthAnA kAryAlayamAM kAma karatAM karatAM khurazI para hRdayaroganA humalAthI avasAna pAmyA hatA. saMsthAnA kAryakaro ane bALakonI zraddhAMjali sAthe teo ciravidAya thayA. vikasatA vijJAna ane zikSaNa pramANe saMsthAnA kAryakaro bhAvanA ane parizrama dvArA amArA prAraMbha karelA kAryane vikasAvI rahyA che. eka vizALa vaDalA jevI A saMsthAmAM kayAMye khUNe paDelA apaMgonuM jIvana vikAsa pAmI rahyuM che teno saune saMtoSa che. mArA jIvana daramyAna je A sevAkArya thayuM teno mane saMtoSa che. mArI prArthanA che ke apaMga bALako tathA saunuM kalyANa ho. muMbaInA nivAsane chellI salAma : agAu muMbaImAM pasAra karelA sukhada ane du:khada prasaMgothI ApaNe paricita chIe. 1948mAM ghaNAM aramAnathI sajAveluM makAna khAlI karI 1956mAM ame amadAvAda sthAyI thayA. paraMtu hajI makAnanI vecavAnI kAryavAhI bAkI hatI. mArI zakti-buddhi nahi. muMbaImAM kaMI sathavAro nahi. koI mANasa vyavasthA saMbhALe tevuM banyuM nahi. tethI Akhare te vecI devuM tema nakkI karyuM. mULamAM mane have A vaibhava pratye koI lagAva na hato. vaLI amadAvAda mAM je hatuM te ghaNuM hatuM. pAMca rUmanA be bloka. vibhAga-7 168 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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ghaNI moTI jagA bhADe ApIe ne vaLI khAlI na thAya. te samaye sarakArI kAyado hato makAna khAlI hoya to sarakAra kabajo meLave. te uparAMta te varSo "muMbaI amacI Ahe'nuM AMdolana cAlatuM hatuM Ama tripAMkhiyA takalIpha hatI. AthI hajI mAre be mAsa pachI dara eka mAsa muMbaI rahevA AvavuM paDatuM. amadAvAda dakSAne koIne tyAM mUkavI paDe. kAraNa ke baMgalAmAM koI hatuM nahi. tenI zALAno samaya-savAre 5-30nI basa eTale muMbaI rahuM tyAre enI ciMtA. ane muMbaI teonA samayanA je paricito hatA te have AvatA ja na hatA. saralAbahene, ane pannAlAle gharasaMsAra mAMDelo eTale potAnA kArabhAramAM hatAM. mAre anya mitro nahi ane kAma nahi. thoDA ja samaya pahelA moTA makAnanuM gaurava hatuM te makAna have osarI gayuM. phakta eka ja oraDo khullo rAkhatI. ekalAM rahevAnuM, sUvAnuM; rAtridivasa pahADa jevA jaNAya. A uparAMta udarapUrti karavI paDe, zuM rAdhuM ne zuM khAvuM ? jUnA ghATIne zodhIne jematema badhuM nabhAvyuM. ema karatAM eka varasa pUruM karyuM. temAM thoDo sahAro zrI paramAnaMdabhAI ke sArAbhAI jevAno maLI raheto. chevaTe koI makAna lenAra maLI AvyA paraMtu pelI tripAMkhiyA takalIphane lIdhe sAva maphatanA bhAve makAna vecavAnuM nakkI karyuM. aDhI lAkhamAM lIdheluM. tenA upara cha mALA bAMdhyA. temAM be mALA khAlI hatA chatAM lakSmIjIe AvI rIte saraLatAthI javAnuM pasaMda karyuM. makAna aDhI lAkhamAM vecAyuM. mane thayuM ke hAza eka chUTakAro thayo. vaLI e rakama paNa koI mitre sArA mATe rokANa karavA lIdhI te e rIte ke e rakama saMbhALavAnI upAdhi TaLe. upAdhi TaLI ke nahi teno zuM vicAra karavo ? khera paristhitio kevA vaLAMka le che ? - jJAnIoe saMsArane Ama ja asAra kahyo che. tene game tyAMthI ukelo... sAra hoya to nIkaLe ne ? TUMkamAM mane to lAgyuM ke eka bhAra Utaryo. amadAvAda AvIne paNa manamAM nirAMta lAgI. AthI have dharmakSetre ke paropakAra kSetre kArya karavAnI aMtaramAM phuraNA thaI. te have AgaLa joIe. pU. paMDitajInA mArgadarzanathI have sAmAjika kSetre praveza thayo. sAmAjika kArya sAthe kauTumbika kAryo paNa UkalatAM gayAM. saunI sAthenA RNAnubaMdhamAM paNa zubhayoga vikasato gayo. te pahelA ghaNuM cUkavavuM paDyuM, e to jevI leNadeNa. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-7 169

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kauTumbika kAryo : atulanAM lagna ApaNe 1979 sudhI pahoMcyAM hatAM. have punaH 1963mAM pAchAM jaIe chIe. muMbaIthI amadAvAda sthaLAMtara thayuM hatuM. atulano abhyAsa pUro thayo hato. amArA karmagraMthanA abhyAsanA sAthImitro amadAvAda AvI sthAyI thayA hatA. atula temanA ghare vAraMvAra jato hato. tyAM temanA moTAbhAInI dIkarI ramonA sAthe paricaya thayo. sagapaNa nakkI karyuM ane 196ramAM temanAM lagna levAyAM. atula pote zokhIna hato. have svataMtra rIte badhuM karato hato. eTale lagnanuM ghaNuMkharuM kAma te ja patAvato. mArI potAnI te kSetre rasaruci ochI eTale kuzaLatA paNa ochI. AthI zAradAbahena ane nAnubhAI (naNaMda-naNaMdoI) bannee ghaNIkharI vyavahArika javAbadArI upADI hatI. teo daMpatI mArA nAnAmoTA vyavahArika kAmamAM khUba sabhAvathI sahakAra ApatAM. eTale huM nizcita rahetI. kAraNa ke teo AvA sarva kAmamAM kuzaLa hatAM. vaLI AvA prasaMgomAM koIne kaMI manaduHkha thAya te paNa badhuM UkalI jatuM. kauTumbika kSetre agAu jaNAvyuM tevI takalIpha have rahI na hatI. tethI saue premathI lagnaprasaMgamAM hAjara rahI zubhecchAo ApI hatI. sAme pakSe jainakuLa, garbhazrImaMta ane pratiSThita kuTuMba hatuM. eTale banne pakSe lagnotsava AnaMdathI UjavAyo. savizeSa tyAre huM sAmAjika kSetre ghaNI pratiSThA dharAvatI hatI, eTale mAnanIya gavarnarazrI, mAnanIya mukhyamaMtrIzrI tathA anya hoddedAro ane sAmAjika kAryakaro zrI saralAdevI, zrI Indumatibahena zeTha vigeree hAjarI ApI hatI. te samayamAM tenuM paNa gaurava hatuM. phoTogrAphara tevA prasaMgomAM kemerAnI cAMpa avazya dabAvI detA ane phoTA pADatA, te samaye kaMIka gamatuM. mA hatI eTale saMtAnanAM lagna nirvine thAya, umaMgathI thAya tevI lAgaNI rahe. paNa aMtaramAM pelo jakhama hato ne te pAcho A prasaMge khUlyo. Ama to e saMyoganA viyogane cauda varSa thayAM hatAM eTale ghaNI svastha hatI. manane vALI lIdhuM hatuM. atula gharamAMthI varaghoDe javA nIkaLyo ane pappAjInA phoTAne vaMdana karavA gayo. te khUba raDI paDyo tyAre mArI paNa hiMmata chUTI gaI. te divasomAM mana para ghaNuM dabANa rAkhyuM hatuM. saune huM khUba svastha vibhAga-7 mArI maMgalayAtrA ( 170

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dekhAtI hatI. paraMtu e paLe atula, dakSA ane huM khUba raDI paDayAM. jo ke hAjara rahelAM sau gaddagada thaI gayAM. chevaTe vaDIloe atulane zAMta pADyo. ame sau zAMta thayAM. chevaTe khela khalakanI jema varaghoDo nIkaLyo. ane lagnotsava khUba AnaMdapUrvaka nirvine thayo. atale vyApAra-vyavahAra saMbhALI lIdho hato. jo ke hajI zarUAta hatI. mArI karakasaranI ane sAdAInI prakRti, enI teonA (pitAjI) jevI udAravRtti hatI. amAre kaMIka matabheda thatA, gharSaNa thatuM. te tarata zamI jatuM. vicAra karatI have mAre kyAM levA-cUkavavAnuM che ? vadhe-ghaTe emane ja levAnuM-mUkavAnuM che. eTale mana vALI letI. kyAreka atula ugra thato tyAre huM paNa ugra thatI. paraMtu chevaTe to-ame zAMta thaI jatAM. ane pAchAM ame kauTumbika bhAvathI joDAI jatAM. Aja sudhI zAMtithI sAthe rahyAM chIe. vaLI samaya paripakva thatAM ramonAe kuzaLatAthI gharanI ghaNI ja javAbadArI saMbhALI hatI. chatAM hajI huM gharanA kAmamAM vyavahAramAM alpAdhika rasa letI, thoDI javAbadArI gaNatI. jamAnAnA saMskAra pramANe kyAreka anyonya kaMIka manaduHkha thatuM paNa ramonA kaMIka namra hatI. eTale amArA saMyogomAM ugratA na AvatI. tethI te badhuM tvarAthI zAMta thaI jatuM. samayocita teone paNa be putrIo prApta thaI hatI. baMne putrIo moTI thatAM ramonAe svayaM dhaMdhAkIya pravRtti dharamAM zarU karI hatI. je ghaNI kAryadakSatAthI nibhAvatI rahI che. dakSA viSe : amadAvAda AvI tyAre dakSA lagabhaga agiyAra varSanI hatI. bharatabhAIne kAraNe temanA kuTuMbano paricaya thavAthI temanAM vidhavAbhAbhI savitAbahenanI dIkarIo sAthe tene zreyasamAM bhaNavA mUkI hatI. agAu jaNAvyuM tema mAre vacamAM kAma mATe muMbaI javuM paDatuM tyAre kalyANabhAIne tyAM ke mArA bhAIne tyAM rahetI. tyAre tene ghaNuM vasamuM lAgatuM. te divaso paNa vItI gayA. mArA mana para tene ekalI mUkyAno boja raheto kAraNa ke zALAe javA mATe basa 5-30 vAge savAre Ave. paNa e divasa nibhAvyA vagara chUTako na hato. dakSA namra ane bhadrika hatI. tethI tenA taraphanI thoDI ciMtA rahetI. dakSAnuM zreyasamAM bhaNatara pUruM thayuM. tene zAradAmaMdiramAM mUkI. have moTI thaI hatI. goThavAI gaI hatI. mitro paNa thayA hatA. esa.esa.sI. mArI maMgalayAtrA 171 vibhAga-7

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pAsa karI. gujarAta kaoNlejamAM ema.e. sudhI abhyAsa karyo. tenI prakRti evI hatI ke pharsTa kalAsa pAsa thavA jevI mahenata nahi ane sekanDa klAsathI nIce javuM nahi. Ama ekadhAryo abhyAsa karI ema.e. thaI. sAthe rasoI jevA kAmamAM paNa kuzaLa hatI. khAsa kaMI anya vizeSatA na hatI. thoDo vakhata pU. paMDitajI pAse jatI. vaLI apaMga mAnava maMDaLamAM sevAkAryano prayatna karyo. paraMtu kaMI goThavAyuM nahi. vaLI have tenAM lagna mATe paNa goThavavAnuM hatuM. lagabhaga 1966thI zrI dIdInA samAgamamAM AvyA pachI varSamAM be-traNavAra huM Abu nivRtti mATe jatI. tyAre ramonA gharane saMbhALe tevI thaI hatI. dakSA hajI kuMvArI hatI. baMne bahenonI jema premathI rahetAM. vaLI mitramaMDaLa paNa hatuM. ' have dakSAnAM lagna karavAnuM kArya bAkI hatuM. te samayanA hAIkorTanA jajasAheba zrI jayaMtilAla mahetA je satyaparAyaNa ane sAttvika prakRtinA hatA. temano eka putra niraMjana je pote hAIkorTamAM prekiTasa karatA hatA. dakSA lagabhaga covIsa varSanI thaI hatI. tenAM sagapaNa niraMjana sAthe nakkI thayAM. ane tarata ja lagnanI tithi paNa nakkI karI. lagna pahelAM eka durghaTanA banI gaI teno saheja ullekha karuM chuM. eka nAjuka ghaTanA : prasaMge ApaNI manovRttinA saMskAro pragaTa thAya tyAre samajAya che ke guNonI UMcAIe pahoMcavA kevuM manobaLa joIe che ! 1968mAM dakSAnAM lagna thavAnAM hatAM. prasaMge paheravA gharamAM dAgInA rAkhyA hatA. Ama to e badhuM ramonA pAse rahetuM. paNa dakSA sAsare jatAM-AvatAM paheratI tethI keTalAka dAgInA dakSAnA kabATamAM hatA. te samaye rAkhelo nokara kAmamAM kuzaLa ane namra hato. ame vizvAsa rAkhatA. e kAma karatA kabATa kholavA vigere joto haze. dakSA kabATanI cAvI sAthe na rAkhatI. amuka jagAe mUkatI, te joI gayo haze. te divase naNaMda-bhANiyA vigerene jamavA bolAvyAM hatAM. ame sau nIce kAmamAM hatAM. lagabhaga agyAra vAge kAma mATe nokarane bolAvyo, paNa te gharamAM ja na hato. be kalAka thayA dekhAyo nahi. AthI atulane amasto ja vicAra Avyo ke dAgInA kabATamAM mUkyA che tenI cAvI ThekANe che ne ? ramonAe joyuM enI cAvI enI pAse hatI. dakSA upara gaI. vibhAga-7 mArI maMgalayAtrA 17ra

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joyuM to cAvI kabATamAM bharAvelI hatI. kabATa kholyuM to khAnAmAM dAgInA na maLe. e vakhate te lAkhonI kiMmatanA hatA. atule tarata ja polIsamAM khabara ApyA. veltha TekasamAM bharelA phorma pramANe vastu ane kiMmata noMdhAvI. bIje divase chApAmAM paNa te prasiddha thayuM. temAM vaLI pAMca-sAta divase pelA nokaranuM eka kArDa AvyuM ke "meM tamAre tyAM corI karI hatI. mArI sAthe eka mANasa pAlaDI gAmano hato. ame amadAvAdathI bhAgyA. paNa pachI mane pastAvo thayo eTale huM to nadImAM paDatuM mUkIne DUbI jAuM chuM." zuM thayuM haze te khabara nathI paNa A kArDa parathI polIse pelA mANasane zodhI kADhyo. pelA mANasanI banAvaTa haze ane je mANasa badhuM pacAvI gayo tene pakaDAvI devAnI tenI dAnata haze. A be mANasoe khAvApIvA mATe thoDAka dAgInA vecyA hatA paraMtu kImatI dAgInA rahyA hatA. - have pakaDAyelA mANase jaNAvyuM ke ame koI zaherathI Treina pakaDavA sTezane AvyA. amArI pAse rakama hatI. eTale pelo mANasa thoDA dAgInA laI zaheramAM gayo. badhuM sAthe laI javAmAM jokhama hatuM. mane sTezana para besADyo hato. mArI pAse ATalo badho mAla AvI gayo tyAM vaLI Treina maLI gaI eTale huM to amadAvAda AvI gayo. A pramANe rAtre bAra vAge polIso pelA corane muddAmAla sAthe lAvyA. tene mAra paDelo tevuM tenA zarIra parathI lAgyuM hatuM. joke tyAre mane kaMI vicAra nahi Avelo. pelA mANase pANI mAMgyuM. meM tene polIsonI jema kokAkolA pIvA ApI te gaTagaTAvI gayo. tyAre mane dayA AvI ke arere, Ane kevo mAra paDyo che ? chatAM tene kaMI maLyuM to nahi. saMsAranA prasaMgomAM jANe-ajANe ApaNe kevA nimittamAM bharavAI jaIe che te pariNAme duHkhadAyaka hoya che. temAM kaMI meLavavAnuM hotuM nathI. jIvanamAM AvA prasaMge anyane du:kha na paDe tevA manobhAva baLavAna saMskAra vagara ubhavatA nathI tethI guNonI UMcAI thatI nathI. tyAre mahApuruSonA prasaMgonuM smaraNa thaI AvatuM. khera. dakSAnI sAsare vidAya 1968 : lagnanAM kAryomAM atula-ramonA nipuNa hatAM eTale dakSAnI sAmAnya kharIdI sivAya mAre kaMI karavAnuM na hatuM. vaLI jamaNavAra jevA prasaMga mATe mArAM naNaMda ane naNadoI zAradAbahena ane nhAnAlAlane bolAvI mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-7 173

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lIdhAM hatAM. teo vyavahAranipuNa hatAM tethI badhuM saMbhALI letAM. AthI mAre mAthe khAsa bhAra hato nahi. e samaye mAruM sAmAjika kArya cAlu hatuM. eTale bhUpendra (atula)nAM lagnanI jema mAnanIya gavarnara, mAnanIya mukhyamaMtrIzrI tathA anya pradhAno, sAmAjika kAryakaro vigere padhAryA hatA. te prasaMga mATe zobhAspada hatuM. saunI sAthe phoTA paNa paDatA hatA. kauTumbika rIte paNa ghaNo sumeLa hato. sarva kuTuMbIjanone AmaMtraNa ApyuM hatuM. atule maMDapa, jamaNavAra vigerenI suMdara racanA karI hatI. e rIte lagnasamAraMbha sAnaMda saMpanna thayo. vevAIpakSa paNa pratiSThita ane saMpanna hovAthI ghaNo samudAya upasthita hato. varakanyAne vidAya ApavAno samaya thayo. savizeSa dakSAne vidAya ApavAnI hatI. atula varaghoDe caDhyo ane pappAnI smRtimAM je vAtAvaraNa thayuM hatuM tevuM rudananuM vAtAvaraNa dakSAne vidAya ApatAM thayuM. lADakoDathI UcharelI kanyAne anyanA hastamAM soMpI devAnI? joke Aje kaMI te bahu duHkhadAyI manAtuM nathI. kAraNa ke pati sAthe paricita hoya che. chatAM vidAya eTale vidAya. A vAtAvaraNa jo I niraMjana bolyA : ""mammI, tame dakSAnI phikara nA karazo. ame dakSAne barAbara sAcavazuM." varakanyA ane temano pakSa vidAya thayo. amArAM svajano vidAya thayAM. dhamadhamatA maMDapamAM sUnakAra chavAyo. ame sau gharamAM AvyAM. e ja ghara hatuM. eka ja vyakti gaI hatI. ghara khAlI lAgyuM. ramonA kahe : mammI, dakSA sAsare gaI... ghara sUnuM lAge che." ane 2DI gaI. meM kahyuM : tuM paNa Ama ja AvI hatI ne ? tyAM to pautrI naMditA raDavA lAgI : mane AnTI sAthe paraNAvI done to huM tenI sAthe sAsare jAuM. mane AnTI vagara gamatuM nathI." AvA prasaMgo jIvanamAM bane che, avanavA bhAvo UThe ane ame che. tyAra pachI keTalAMka kAmo sameTyAM. sau nidrAdhIna thayAM. savAra paDI, sau kAme lAgyAM. rivAja pramANe dakSA sAsarethI prasannacitte AvI. Ama A prasaMga nirvighna ukelAyo. tyAra pachI saunI vicArasaraNI pramANe dakSA-niraMjana pitAzrIthI alaga rahyAM. temanI hAIkorTanI kArakirdI krame karIne khUba vikasatI gaI. vibhAga-7 mArI maMgalayAtrA 174

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zarUAtamAM phalaeNTamAM bhADe rahyAM. pachI potAnuM moTuM makAna rAkhI saMpannapaNe sthAyI thayA. joke A paNa mArA jIvananI jema ThagAruM nIvaDyuM te AgaLa joIzuM. vAstavamAM saMsAramAM kazuM vyavasthita nathI. kSaNe kSaNe parivartanazIla jagatamAM jIve sthAyIpaNuM mAnavuM e bhrama nIvaDe che. Avo bodha durlabha manAyo che. vaLI anukrame dakSAne be saMtAnonI prApti thaI te prasaMgo paNa samayocita UkalyA. Ama prathamanA traNa dasakA jevo samaya sAMsArika rIte sAmAnya rIte sukhaduHkha chatAM dharmabhAvanAomAM kaMIka puNyayogavALo hato. tyAra pachI vaidhavyapaNe eka dasako svayaM dInadazAmAM vitAvyo. vaLI punaH eka dasako te dInadazA nivAravA ane kaMI sevAnI bhAvanAthI pUro thayo. ema karatAM ApaNe lagabhaga 1970 sudhI AvyAM. pachI saMtonA samAgamanA avasaramAM vizeSatA thaI. tenA bodhanA saravANI pUrve vacamAM mArI kuTuMbakathA karI lIdhI. vaLI Ama to 1967thI mAnasika svasthatA rahI, viSAdamuktine kAraNe AMtarika prasannatA hatI. temAM bahAranA sevAkAryathI paropakArabhAvano saMtoSa hato. kauTumbika rIte paNa bAhya ane gharamAM kaMI viSamatA na hatI. saMsAra viSamatAthI bharelo che te vAta sahI paraMtu AvA puNyayogane ApaNe sukhada mAnIe chIe. vaLI have baMne saMsthAono paNa ghaNo vikAsa thayo hato. bhAratabharamAM prazaMsanIya kArya tarIke prasiddhi hatI. te pravRttine yogya kAryakramo thatAM temAM paNa eka prakAranA vikAsathI saMtoSa hato. Ama lagabhaga 1975 sudhI A yAtrA thatI rahI, temAM A rajanIza ane pU. vimalAtAI ThakArano paricaya thatAM aMtaramAM paDelA adhyAtmajIvananA-AtmadarzananA saMskAro camakavA lAgyA. amArA kalyANabhAI vigere mitro paNa A vicAramAM pravRtta thayA. te gALAmAM mane sAdhujanono saMparka na hato. tethI prAraMbhamAM huM IDaravaDavA zrImad rAjacaMdranA AzramomAM satsaMgI mitro sAthe nivRtti laI ArAdhanA mATe javA lAgI. tyAre mArA manamAM sulasA, subhadrA, caMdanA jevI parama zrAvikAonuM citra kathA dvArA aMkita thatuM. ane mane lAgatuM ke have jIvana prabhu prItyarthe jIvavuM che. joke A paddhati apanAvyA pachI lagabhaga 1984 sudhI saMsthAnAM mArI maMgalayAtrA 17pa vibhAga-7

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kAryo, gauNatAthI cAlu hatAM. kauTumbika kAryothI to mahadaMze nivRtti hatI. eTale ArAdhanA sthiratAthI thatI hatI. pachI to saMta-samAgamathI adhyAtmabaLanI vizeSatA mATe vizeSa thaI te have joIzuM. A saMta-mahAtmAono saMga, nizrA e to mArA jIvanamAM amRta banI gayuM. jIvana kheMcI kADhavAnuM che evuM nabaLuM manobaLa to kyAMya naSTaprAya banI gayuM. A saMto dvArA jJAnanI gaMgotrI ane vAtsalyanI janmotrI mANavA maLI, temAM UMDI DUbakIo lIdhI ane jIvananI badhI samasyAo pAtALamAM dharabAI gaI. je je saMtonI nizrAmAM rahevAnuM thayuM te te samaye te te saMto pAsenA amRta rasAyaNamAM A jIvana paNa rasAtuM gayuM. koI puNyayoge Avo jIvanarasa maLyo tene parakhavA hRdayamAM aMkita karavA, jyAre jyAre evo avasara maLe tene vadhAvI ja letI. zuM varNana karuM zuM nA karuM ? kyAM pelI cauda-covIsa varSanI bAlaceSTA? kayAM pelI vaidhavya dazAnuM AkraMda ? dIna-hIna dazA tathA zoka pachInA viSAdano jakhama ? e badhuM varNana thaI cUkyuM che. A saMtoe zuM jAdu karyuM... evuM lAge jANe e badhAM vAdaLA saMtonI karuNAnA samIrathI vIkharAI gayAM. cidAkAza cokhkhuM thayuM. hA, paNa jAgrata to rahevAnuM che. kone khabara pUrvasaMcita koI khUNAmAM paDelAM pAchA udayakarmanA vAdaLAM UmaTI Ave ? tapa-japa-moha-mahA tophAne, nAva na cAle na mAne. paNa bhaya nahi muja hAtho hAthe, tAre te (saMto) che sAthe. Ama saMtonA sathavAre je banyuM te akalpanIya che. have tenA ja sahAre saMsArasAgara pAra karavAno che. teno vizvAsa e ja A saMtonuM ApeluM amRta che. "je karma ekavAra bhogavIne chUTI jAya tevA AtmA sAthe ekAkAra thayelA karmanA joDANane baMdha kahevAya che. ane je karmo, bhogavatI vakhate navAM karmanAM baMdhana mUkIne jAya che. pharI ene bhogavatAM e bIjAM baMdhana mUkI jAya che. evA AtmA sAthenA paraMparAvALA karmanA, joDANane anubaMdha kahevAya che. "AtmAne oLakho' evI nizcayanayanI bUmo pADavAne badale, baMdhanone sau prathama oLakho. baMdhanone oLakhyA pachI e baMdhanono toDo." baMdhananA kAraNothI dUra raho. vibhAga-7 176 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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AdaraNiya mAnavaMtA vidvatajanonI sAthe dIrghakALa jemanuM vAtsalyapUrNa sAnnidhya ane vividha viSayonAM jJAnagoSTi samayanI mudrA pU. paMDita zrI sukhalAlajI nivAse pU. zrI ravizaMkaradAdA tathA pU. dIdI sAthe subhaga yoga zrI gokuLabhAInI kuTiramAM satsaMga pachI zrI nemubhAI caMdarayA tathA zrI caMdrikAbena sAthe, amadAvAda

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AdaraNiya mAnavaMtA vidvatajanonI sAthe pU. dAdA zrI sujAnamala jaina sAthe zrI IDara tIrtha zrI sameta zikharajInI yAtrA pachI atula Ayojita bhojana satkAra milana pU. zrI AtmAnaMdajInI sAthe zrI adhyAtmasAdhanA kendra, kobAnA prAMgaNamAM

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sAthe prApta sAmAjika e pAjika sevA kAryanI sAthe paNa saMtasamAgama * pU. paMDita sukhalAlajI nizrA sAthe * AcArya zrI rajanIzajIno samAgama 1968 sudhI * pU. AdaraNiyazrI vimalAtAI ThakArano samAgama zrIlaMkA tathA himAcala pradezanI satsaMgayAtrA * viSAdamukti, aMtaraMga prasannatAnI anubhUti : AsAmanA maitrI AzramamAM kudarata sAthe kadama * pU. vimalAtAIthI sakAraNa kSetriya nivRtti sAmAjika kAryothI AMzika nivRtti 1984thI - so prANI A saMsAranA, sayitri muja vahAlA hajo, sad guNamAM AnaMdo mA nuM mirA ke varI hajo . du:khIyA prati karUNA ene duzmane prati madhyasthatA, zubha bhAvanA prabhu cAra A, pAmo hRdayamAM sthiratA."

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'mRtyu zuM che. manuSya mAne che ke te jIvI rahyo che. vAstavamAM ne je jIvana dekhAya che. te pUrNa thaI mRtyumAM pariNata | thAya che. jANe ke jIvana jevuM kaMI hatuM ja nahi kevaLa mRtyu pratyenI yAtrA hatI. jIvo e mRtyune jANatA nathI, te kevaLa mRtyuthI bhayabhIta che. jJAnI kahe che mRtyu to ajJAta che, to pachI teno bhaya zA mATe ? jene ApaNe mRtyuno bhaya kahIe chIe te zuM che ? jene ApaNe jIvana kahIe chIe tenuM samApta thavuM ane je jJAna che tenuM gupta thavuM te mRtyu che. bhautika padArtho jeno ApaNane paricaya (jJAna) che. zarIra, gRha saMpatti, pratiSThA, saMskAra, A sarve sAthe tAdAya che. ane tAdAmanuM chUTI javuM teno bhaya che. tAdAmya janita padArthomAM mArApaNAnA, 'huM'nI mAnyatA bhaya pedA kare che. te te padArthonuM tAdAo chUTI jAya, to jIva ema jANI le ke jene huM' mAnato hato te '' nathI. huM te sarvathI bhinna chuM te ja kSaNe bhaya visarjita thaI jAya che. A. rajanIzajI

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saMta samAgamano suavasara sAmAjika kSetre kArya karatAM manamAM pU. kAnajIsvAmIno bodha smaraNamAM Avato "samyagdarzana." te anvaye kaMI avasara maLato tene vadhAvI letI. sAttvika mitronA sAthathI, paMDitavaryanA saMparkathI A bodhanuM guMjana rahyA karatuM. mArI maMgalayAtrAmAM vaLI mAnavasevAnuM satkArya AnaMdadAyaka hatuM. mULa jijJAsAthI thoDo vaLAMka hato paraMtu te vakhatanI e bhUmikA ane yoga pramANe je banyuM te ThIka ja hatuM. - pU. paMDita sukhalAlajIno saMparka cAlu hato. vAMcana-adhyayanano avakAza raheto hato tathA tattvArthasUtrano abhyAsa thayo hato ethI sAmAjika kArya sAthe A yoga mane hitakArI hato. AcArya zrI rajanIzajIno samAgama : 1954/55 thI AcArya zrI rajanIzajI AdhyAtmika kSetre viziSTa vaktA tarIke prasiddhimAM AvyA. zrI paramAnaMda kApaDiyAnA kAraNe muMbaImAM temano prathama paricaya thayo hato. teonI sAttvikatA ane tejasvitA ghaNI ucca koTinI hatI. vacanalabdhi paNa ghaNI mArmika hatI. emanuM pUruM vyaktitva ati prabhAvazALI hatuM. temanA bodhanI UMDI asara thatI. temanA pravacanamAM AnaMda Avato. amadAvAdamAM 1957mAM mRtyu viSenuM pU. rajanIzajInuM pravacana TAuna haoNlamAM sAMbhaLI mana atyaMta prasanna thayuM. yadyapi AkhI sabhA ja stabdha hatI. "mRtyu e mahotsava che, AnaMdathI AvakAro" A zabda para huM to khUba ja vArI gaI. sabhA vikherAI pachI paNa dasa miniTa temanA zabdalokamAM mArA astitvane bhUlI gaI. thoDI kSaNo to thayuM ke deha chUTI gayo che. AtmA nizcita thayo che, na duHkha che na sukha che. hRdayanI duniyA nirAmaya banI gaI. joke mArI jema thoDA mANaso besI rahyA hatA. vaLI temAMthI jAgrata thatAM bahAra AvI vyavahArakAryanI vAstavikatAmAM rojanI jema goThavAI gaI. parantu Aje paNa tenI smRti evI ne evI jaLavAI che. jo ke anya saMskArane kAraNe tenuM baLa vizeSa pravartana karatuM nahi. vaLI te samaye eka adamyabhAva UThyo ke A mahApuruSa che. tenA bodhathI | saMparkathI mAro ajaMpo TaLaze. Atmadarzana thaze, zeSa jIvana AnaMdapUrNa banaze ane sArthaka thaze. AthI temanA sAhityano paNa AdhAra mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-8 179

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letI. temanA graMtho vAMcatAM evA bhAva thatA ke have mArA hRdayamAM kaMI bhAra ke zaMkA nathI. emanA sAhitya ane bodhathI mane aMdaramAM nirAMta lAgatI. vAstavamAM temanAM pravacano ane graMtho mAre mATe eka sahAro banyAM. - AcArya zrI rajanIzajI amadAvAda AvatA tyAre bApujI (pU. zrI trikamalAla)ne tyAM utAro hoya. temanI sevA mATe bApujI mane bolAvI letA. te vakhate temanuM sAnnidhya jIvane je AnaMda ApatuM, tenuM varNana tyAre karI zakatI na hatI. Aje paNa kema karI zakuM? pU. paMDitajI pAse AcAryazrInA pravacanano sAra kahetI tyAre teo kahetA ke teonAM pravacano tarkapradhAna che. paNa vaktavya ghaNuM sacoTa hovAthI janatAne ruce ane tenAthI prabhAvita thAya te svAbhAvika che. e samaye huM mane khUba saddabhAgI mAnatI. teonI sAthe vAto karavAnuM gajuM na hatuM. paraMtu temanI nizrAmAM koI jAdu hato. netromAM jANe gajabanuM AkarSaNa hatuM. joke temanI sevAnuM khAsa kAma na rahetuM. temano te samaye vastuno parigraha bahu sImita hato. AhAra sAdo hato. mAtrA alpa hatI. sAmAnamAM eka baeNga. temAM vadhArAnAM be joDa vastro, nIcenI luMgI, uparanuM khesa jevuM, eka AzIkuM. teo kahetA : ""ranekA sthAna badalatA rahetA hai, hameM yaha pilo anukULa rahetA hai." nAnA koI baoNksamAM braza vi. ane bATAnI slipara, ekAda-be pustako, svayaM pote ja pustakAlaya jevA hatA. teo kahetA ke temaNe dasa hajAra jeTalAM pustako vAMcyAM che. teonI svAdhyAyalabdhi gajabanI hatI. pAnA para AMkha ja pheravatA ane pAnuM vaMcAI jatuM. akSarazaH smRtimAM aMkAI jatuM. pachI to teonA mahArASTramAM, saurASTramAM ane amadAvAdamAM ghaNAM pravacano yojAtAM. chevaTe janatAnI saMkhyA 20/rapa hajAra jevI thatI. parantu TI.vI.nI sagavaDa, temanI vacanalabdhi, temanI AMkhanI camatkArika najara... sabhA maMtramugdha banatI. pravacanadhArAnAM vAkyono asmalita pravAha zrotAjanonA kAnamAM guMjyA karato. pachI to aneka sthaLoe zibiro thatI. janatA sarva sthaLe UmaTI paDatI. cAre bAju prasannatA prasarI jatI. saumAM navuM ojasa pragaTa thatuM. dareka samaye eka kalAka akhkhalita pravacanadhArA vahetI. lagabhaga 1960 thI 1970 temanA ghaNA kAryakramomAM javAnuM thatuM. vibhAga-8 180 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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teono aMgata paricaya paNa thato. tyAra pachI teonI zailImAM zAstrasiddhAMta, vartamAna dharmanI sAttvika, tAttvika lokapraNAlIthI ghaNuM viruddha vAtAvaraNa UbhuM thatuM lAgyuM. kuMDalinI jAgRtinuM temanuM AMdolana temAM koIka zibirArthIo nagna thaI nAce, evA prakAro pradarzita thatAM, temAM teo ajugatuM na mAnatA. evuM ghaNuM banavA mAMDyuM. mane aMgata rIte temanA viSe ghaNo ahobhAva hato. paraMtu A praNAlImAM mAruM mana saMmata na thayuM. viSayavRttione uttejita karavI nathI paDatI te to jIva mAtramAM mULamAM paDI che. saMyama pedA karavo paDe che. tema mArA saMskAra hatA. vikArone uttejita karI, te vyakta thaI viramI jAya te lagabhaga asaMbhava che. jeNe saMsArathI mukti prApta karI che te saue viSayathI mukta thaI, saMyama dvArA ja prApta karI che. tema mAruM zikSaNa hatuM. te kevaLa rUDha mAnyatA na hatI. parantu sapuruSoe pragaTa karelo mArga che. AvA mArA ane mArA mitronA maMtavyathI ame teono saMparka tyajI dIdho. teo sAthe A carcA karavA jevuM mane lAgatuM na hatuM. manamAM kaMI mArga maLyAno vizvAsa pedA thayo temAM vaLI A kaThinAI UbhI thaI. kAraNa ke hajI A kSetre svAvalaMbana banyuM na hatuM. AcArya zrI rajanIzajInuM punaH milana : joke te daramyAna zrI vimalAtAI-dIdIno paricaya thayo hato. eTale dhyAnamArge AgaLa vadhavAnI taka maLI hatI. thoDAM varSo bAda mAre muMbaI sTezane koIne levA javAnuM thayuM. tyAre sTezana upara "hare rAma'nI dhUna sAthe eka ToLuM AvatuM hatuM. meM joyuM to AcArya zrI rajanIzajInI AjubAju vartuLa karIne sau "hare rAma'nI dhUna sAthe AvatA hatA. huM kaMI vicAra karuM te pahelAM mArA paga temanI tarapha vaLyA. pahelAMno saddabhAva, te samayanI mArI paristhiti pramANe teo vaDe thayelo lAbha. AvA aMtaramAM paDelA bhAve temanI pAse jaIne meM hAtha joDI namaskAra karyA. e ja vAtsalyapUrNa najare prasanna vadanathI bolyA, "kaise ho sunaMdAjI?" ane mArA joDelA baMne hAtha para teoe eka kSaNa hAtha mUkayo. paNa temanA e vAtsalyapUrNa sparzamAM zuM hatuM ? traNa divasa mArA hAtha para tenI asara rahI. jemAM nirdoSa prasannatAno anubhava thato. tyAra pachI kyAMya maLavAnuM banyuM nathI. jIvanamAM temano upakAra hato. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-8 181

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te Aje paNa mAnuM chuM. tethI have sAmAjika kSetrane badale AdhyAtmikatA pratye AMtara jhukAva vadhato gayo. je je samaye mananA stara para je banyuM te jevuM che tevuM AlekhuM chuM. tyAra pachI jIvanamAM ghaNA prasaMgo banyA tema ghaNuM badalAtuM paNa rahyuM. je je vItarAga mArgathI dUra lAgyuM te sahajapaNe chUTI jatuM. te samaja pAkI hatI. mAro saMskAra e praNAlIthI ghaDAyo hato ne ? AcArya zrI rajanIzajIno sAdara saMkSipta paricaya : ApaNuM baMdhAraNa bhAvasvarUpa che. saMyoga ane yoga pramANe bhAvanA parivartana pAme che. pU. zrI rajanIzajI sAthenA samAgamamAM kaMI maLyuM hatuM, gumAvyuM na hatuM tevuM Aje lAge che. mArI bhAvanA, maMtavya ane zraddhAthI kaMI viparIta lAgavAthI huM temanA sAnnidhyathI dUra thaI. paraMtu temanAthI maLelA lAbhane kAraNe kRtajJatA kema choDAya ? tethI temanA pratyeno ahobhAva vyakta karavA mArI alpabuddhi vaDe kaMIka lakhavA prerAI chuM. temanuM vyaktitva vizvavyApI che, te kaMI nAnI kalamamAM samAya nahi. AcArya rajanIzajIne temanA anuyAyI "ozo" kahetA ane mAnatA. temanI jIvanakathA lakhAI haze. paraMtu chellAM varSomAM e pratyeno paricaya na hovAthI kaMI khAsa mAhitI mArI pAse nathI ane meLavIne lakhavuM tenA karatAM mane mArA bhAva jaNAvavA vadhu pasaMda che. AthI paricita mitro pAsethI ane temanA sva-mukhe sAMbhaLeluM tenI smRti dvArA atre mArI pAtratA pramANe keTalAka bhAvo rajU karuM chuM. temano dehavilaya 1990mAM thayo tyAre teonI vaya lagabhaga 59 varSanI hatI. jo ke teo A jIvananA janmane utpAda ke maraNane aMta mAnatA na hatA. vAstavamAM sva-svarUpe to jIvane janma-maraNa nathI. zrI paramAnaMdabhAI kahetA ke teo jabalapuranA sthAnakavAsI jaina hatA. janmathI ati buddhizALI hatA. darzanazAstra sAthe ema.e. thayA hatA. temanI vidyArthIjIvananI kArakirdI ja temanI pratibhAne upasAvatI hatI. teone kaoNlejamAM AcAryapadavI prApta thavAthI teo AcArya rajanIza tarIke prakhyAti pAmyA. kaoNlejamAM AcAryapade thatA pravacanothI vidyArthI temanA pratye saheje AkarSaNa pAmatA. pachI to teone bhAratabharamAM pravacana mATe AmaMtraNa maLavA lAgyAM. vibhAga-8 mArI maMgalayAtrA 182

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pU. vimalAtAI jabalapura temanI mulAkAte gayAM hatAM tema sAMbhaLeluM. tenA anusaMdhAnamAM jANavA maLyuM hatuM ke teo jabalapuranA jaMgalamAM rAtre jatAM ane kyAreka vRkSa nIce ke vRkSa upara teo dhyAna ciMtana karatAM. tyAre eka vAra temano pArthiva deha ane cetanA bhinna thayelAM temaNe anubhavyAM. cetananA pradezo jANe dehathI dUra anubhavyA. A temano AtmasAkSAtkAra hato. tyAra pachI evI sAdhanA dvArA temane anya labdhio paNa prApta thaI hoya tevuM jaNAtuM. jemake temanI manamohaka vANI, daSTi sAme ApaNI AMkha maLe tyAre jANe be sarcalAITanA goLA jevuM jaNAtuM. temanI najIka besatAM kaMIka kaMpanano paricaya thato. teonA pravacanamAM tarkapradhAnatAnI vizeSatA hatI, paraMtu zrotAgaNane te maMtramugdha karatI. temaNe eka vAra kaheluM ke teoe hajAro pustako vAMcyAM che. pustakanAM pAnAM para najara karatAM ja temane pUruM pAnuM smRtimAM aMkita thaI jatuM. teonI kuMDalinI zakti tIvrapaNe jAgrata thaI hatI, tenI paNa A badhI labdhio hoI zake ! AvI aneka zaktio-saMpanna temane eka kaoNlejakSetra kevI rIte puratuM thAya ? AthI teo AcAryapadathI svayaM mukta thaI, AdhyAtmika kSetrane svIkArI dezanAM aneka kSetromAM pravacano ApatAM. mArA lekhanamAM temanA pravacananI labdhi ke zaktinuM varNana karyuM che. te meM jAte anubhavyuM che. loko kahetAM ke teo saMmohana zakti dharAve che tethI zrotAo maMtramugdha banI jAya che. temane prApta kuMDalinI zakti ke labdhi dvArA have teo dhyAna zibiro paNa karatA. jotajotAmAM temano zrotAgaNa hajAronI saMkhyAmAM vRddhi pAmyo hato. 1954mAM muMbaInA prathama pravacanamAM 500 zrotAgaNa hatA. 1966 lagabhaga amadAvAdamAM zrotAgaNanI saMkhyA 25/30 hajAra uparAMta hatI. te divasomAM lUMgI ane uparanuM uttarI vastra, mukha dADhIvALuM A temanI dehAkRti paNa mAnavane AkarSaNa pedA karatI. teono bodha svayaMne jAgrata karavAno hato. tame svayaMmAM jhUko tyAM paramaAnaMda, amRta paDeluM che. tame sau tyAM pahoMcavAnuM sAhasa karo. tene mATe tamAre keTalIka anaupayogI jUnI praNAlI tyajavI paDe to te sAhasa karajo. tamArA sukhanI khoja tamArA svayaM astitvamAM karo. tyAMthI ja maLaze te tamAruM svanuM haze, ane anaMta avyAbAdha sukharUpa haze." mArI maMgalayAtrA 183 vibhAga-8

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pUrA bhAratamAM A. rajanIzajInI lokacAhanA khUba vistAra pAmI. prasaMgakathAo upajAvavAnI temanI zakti addabhuta hatI. joyuM che ke rajanIzano virodha karanArA vaktAo paNa temanI prasaMgakathAonAM nAma badalIne, jarA pheraphAra karIne potAnAM pravacanomAM upayoga kare che. vAstavamAM temanI e prasaMgakathAothI lokonA mana sudhI temanI vANI sparzatI, kyAMka te kathAo hAsyarasa veratI to kyAMka pAtra jIvane vicAranI jAgRti ApatI. pU. paMDitajI kahetA ke A. rajanIzanuM vastRtva dhAradAra tarkayukta che. savizeSa temanI vANI ane nayanamAM pelI kuMDalinI zakti dvArA kaho ke temane thayelA AtmasAkSAtkAranuM kAraNa kaho, eka jAtanuM saMmohana hatuM. jethI temanA vANI-zravaNamAM loko DolI UThatA ke ekAgra thaI jatA. jainadarzananA paraMparAgata mALakhAthI temanI paddhati nirALI hatI. paraMtu teo te bAbatamAM nirbhaya hatA. game tema ho paNa temanA zrotAgaNa, ziSyagaNa hajAronI saMkhyAmAM vistRta hatA. joke e kAraNa koIne jJAnI tarIke puravAra karavA mATe na hoI zake. teo dvArA yojAtI dhyAna zibiromAM paNa hajAronI saMkhyA thatI. vaLI temaNe pUnAmAM Azrama sthApyo, pachI amerikAmAM ziSyoe oregonanA raNavistAramAM vipula jagyAmAM moTI saMsthA UbhI karI. te paNa temanA koI labdhibaLe raNa jevA vistAramAM ati AkarSaka evuM sthaLa alpa samayamAM astitvamAM AvyuM tema loko mAnatA. pachI to anya vaibhava paNa vadhyo. eka vAra teo gahana maunamAM paNa rahyAM. temanuM prabhutva gajabanuM hatuM. eka vAra pUnAmAM teonuM pravacana hatuM. teo samayasara AvyAM. potAnI beThaka para AvI eka kalAka mauna rahyAM. hajAro mAnavo paNa maunamAM besI rahyA. sAMbhaLeluM ke maunanI paNa mana keseTa UtarelI te hajAronI saMkhyAmAM vaheMcAI. A vibhUtinuM mApa kADhavA jeTalI mArA jevAnI guMjAyaza nahi. paraMtu saMbhogathI samAdhi, nagnapaNe zibiromAM nAcavuM te mArA maMtavya ke jainadarzana anvaye vItarAga mArgane anurUpa na hatuM. jainadarzanano mArga viSayathI virakti ane kaSAyothI muktirUpa vairAgyano che, temAM evuM nathI ke pahelAM bhogavo pachI chUTI jaze. bhogavIne paNa je Akhare vibhAga-8 184 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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vairAgyavaMta thayA te ja mukti pAmyA che. saMsAramAM rahyA chatAM baMdhAya nahi te koI vItarAga koTinA jIvo hoya che. damana ke zamana, bhUmikA pramANe jIve muktinA mArge puruSArtha prayojavo paDe che. koI vAra AvI pravRtti ArAdhanAne nAme karIne jIva vikRti poSe ane ajJAnapaNe janma veDaphe evuM bane, je hoya te... AvI mArI mAnyatA ane zraddhA hovAthI meM temanuM sAnnidhya tyajI dIdhuM. joke ApaNA jevAnI anaupasthiti temane kaMI ochapa lAvatI nathI. te to jema vikasavAnuM hatuM tema vikasyuM. ane je banavAnuM hatuM te banyuM. tyArapachI teo akALe dehavilaya pAmyA. jevI temanI vANInI pratibhA hatI tevI temanA sAhityanI paNa vistRta prasidhdhi thaI ane Aje thatI rahI che. aneka bhASAomAM temanuM sAhitya pragaTa thayuM che. Aje hajAro cAhako temanA pratye zraddhA dharAve che. mane mArA saMskAra ane Agama praNita siddhAMtothI viparIta lAgavAthI meM te taraphanuM valaNa sadaMtara tyajI dIdhuM. te te samaye je lAbha thayo te pUrato temano Adara rahyo che. AdaraNIya zrI vimalAtAI ThakArano samAgama (1966 thI 1979): sAmAjika kAryanuM kSetra vistaratuM jatuM hatuM. sAthe sAthe have AdhyAtmika kSetre paNa kaMIka bhAvanA UThI hatI. aMtaramAMthI avAja UThato ke have AdhyAtmika vikAsano samaya thayo che. muMbaImAM zrI paramAnaMdabhAInA nimitte AcArya zrI rajanIzajIno paricaya thayelo, tyAra pachI huM amadAvAda sthAyI thaI hatI. te daramyAna lagabhaga 1966mAM zrI paramAnaMdabhAIno amadAvAda patra Avyo ke AbumAM zrI vimalAtAI ThakAra nivAsa karavAnAM che. vidvAna viduSI, AdhyAtmika dRSTiyukta bALabrahmacArI che. A bahenano paricaya karavA jevo che. tame kahetA hatA ke mAre koI mahilA saMta pAse dhyAna vigereno abhyAsa karavo che, tamane anukULa Avaze. vaLI teoe zrI vinobAjI sAthe pUrI bhAratanI padayAtrA karelI teno anubhava, zrI kRSNamUrtino paricaya ane svataH potAno aMtaraMga AdhyAtmika abhigama, brahmacaryanuM ojasa Ama ghaNA prakAre temanuM vyaktitva prabhAvazALI che. vaLI thoDA divasa pachI zrI bApujI khabara lAvyA ke AbumAM huM zrI vimalAtAI ThakArane maLIne Avyo chuM. teoe AbumAM nivRtti mATe mArI maMgalayAtrA 185 vibhAga-8

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makAna lIdhuM hatuM. teo avAranavAra jatA ane zrI tAIne maLatA, temanAthI prabhAvita thayelA. bApujInA kahevAthI kalyANabhAI, suzIlAbhAbhI ane huM ame traNe Abu temanI pAse pahoMcI gayAM. prathama mulAkAte temanA tejasvI cakSuo ane madhura vANI jemAM jIvanalakSI dRSTinI vizeSatA hatI, te amane sparzI gaI. mArAmAM adhyAtmapreraka sAdhanAnI utkaMThA tIvra banatI hatI. te mArge mane avalaMbananI jarUra hatI. tethI temanA paricayamAM mane AzA baMdhANI. ame traNa divasa temanI nizrAmAM rahyAM. roje be kalAka satsaMga thato. 1966thI ame temanA paricayamAM AvyAM. pachI ame temane "dIdI" ke bahena kahetAM. lagabhaga 1967nA jAnyuArImAM dIdI sAthe AbumAM traNacAra divasa temanI nizrAmAM rahevAnuM thayuM hatuM. temanI vicAradhArAnuM mukhya dhyeya vartamAnamAM jIvo, samagratAmAM jIvo, pratikriyAthI jAgrata raho, maitrIbhAva keLavo, aMtaranirIkSaNa karo. koI paNa paristhitimAM mUMjhAIne vikalponI, zaMkAonI jALamAM jIvanane khaMDita na karavuM. aMgata ke saphAI jevAM kAryo karo to te pUrA dhyAnathI karo. kapaDAM sUkavo ke je kaMI kArya karo, upayogapUrvaka karo. AthI jyAre dhyAnamAM jazo tyAre upayoganI caMcaLatA nahi rahe. samagratAmAM astitva jevuM zuddha che tevuM pragaTa thavA do. vyavahAramAM dUSaNathI malinatA na lAvo. premanuM phalaka vizALa thavA do saMkucitatAno tyAga karo. satyanuM AcaraNa karo. arthAt adhyAtmane lagatI ghaNI uttama paddhati hatI. eTale mane prAraMbhathI ja badhuM rucatuM gayuM. sAthe jJAna-dhyAna ane maunanuM zikSaNa vadhu AnaMdadAyaka hatuM. - tyAra pachI anukULatAe temanI pAse ame jatAM hatAM. ema amAro paricaya vRddhi pAmyo. pU. vimalAtAI viSe mitAkSarI paricaya : vAstaviktA e che, vibhUtiono paricaya svayaM teonI pratibhA ja pragaTa kare che. chatAM paNa temanA pratyenA ahobhAvathI ja kaMIka paricaya ApavAnI preraNA thAya che. yadyapi game te kAraNe meM pU. paMDitajI, rajanIzajI, dIdI ke 5.pU. AcAryazrI kalApUrNasUri sudhI koInI sAthe aMgata paricayanI vAta karI nathI. kyAreka prasaMgopAtta jANavA maLyuM te athavA anya vyaktio pAsethI sAMbhaLyuM hoya tenA AdhAre ahIM hArdika ahobhAva vyakta karuM vibhAga-8 mArI maMgalayAtrA 186

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chuM. temAM kaMI kSati hoya to te mATe kSamAyAcanA. pU. vimalAtAIne ame tAI ke dIdI kahetAM. teo janme mahArASTrI briAhmaNa hatAM. darzanazAstra sAthe teo ema.e. nuM vyavahArika zikSaNa dharAvatAM hatAM, te vigato joke temanA vizALa ane AdhyAtmika jIvana AgaLa gauNa che. temanI daSTi ane sRSTinuM phalaka samagratA che. teoe pU. vinobAjI sAthe pUrA bhAratanI bhUdAnayAtrA karI hatI. temanA anubhavonuM kSetra vizALa hatuM. tema chatAM temano svayaM abhigama vizeSa karIne adhyAtmakSetrano, AMtarika saMzodhanano ane jIvananI samagratA pratyeno hato. temanA sAnnidhyamAM temanI vicAradhArAnAM darzana thatAM, vaLI temAM eka prakAranuM mAdhurya hatuM. jethI temanI samIpatAnuM AkarSaNa raheluM. bhUdAnayAtrAthI mukta thaI teoe aMtaranI adamya preraNAthI lagabhaga 1964/6pa AbumAM sthira nivAsa karyo. yadyapi tyAra pachI potAne prApta adhyAtmanuM rahasya janasamUha sudhI pahoMcADavA dezavidezamAM teoe ghaNI pravAsayAtrA karI, sAthe dhyAna zibironuM Ayojana karatAM. temanI pravacana paddhatinuM phalaka koI paNa mata paMthathI mukta hatuM. vANImAM prakharatA chatAM madhuratAno svAda maLato. temanA nikaTanA paricayathI sAdhakone yogya mArgadarzana maLatuM. temanA cAhakonI saMkhyA vizALa hatI. Akhare temaNe A saghaLI pravRttio saMkelIne AbumAM sthiravAsa svIkAryo che. kyAreka koI sAdhakane maLavAno avakAza rAkhe che. te sivAya svayaM aMtarmukha thaIne rahyA che. vizeSa to temanI sAthenA yAtrA pravAsamAM meM ghaNuM jaNAvyuM che. Aje paNa mArA jIvanamAM temanA RNa mATe AdarabhAva che. mAro-temano samAgama lagabhaga tera varSa jevo rahyo. temAM ghaNo bodha prApta thayo. temanA sAhityathI te prasiddha thayelA che eTale vizeSa vistAra karatI nathI. kyAreka darzanano lAbha maLe che. pU. dIdInI nizrAmAM anya satsaMgIonuM milana : vaLI himAlayamAM maratolA AzramamAM dIkSita thayelA gujarAtanA sAkSara zrI kizanasiMha cAvaDA tyAM ekAMta sAdhanA karatA hatA. te dIdInA paricayamAM AvyA. ane mIratolA choDI ghaNo samaya dIdI sAthe rahevA lAgyA. koI vAra pU. dAdA dharmAdhikArIno saMparka thayo hato, e rIte anya viziSTa vyaktiono saMparka thato hato. mArI maMgalayAtrA 187 vibhAga-8

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vaLI bhAgavata kathAkAra zrI DoMgarejInAM dharmapatnI zAlinIbAI jemanuM nAmakaraNa pU. dIdIe kRSNAmAI karyuM hatuM. ame sau kRSNAmAI kahetAM. teo DoMgarejIno saMbaMdha tyajI pU. dIdIne samarpaNa thayAM hatAM. pAMca-sAta varSa sAthe rahyA pachI kensaranA dardamAM teo dIdInI nizrAmAMthI ciravidAya thayAM. pU. dIdI sAthe zrIlaMkAnI cirasmaraNIya yAtrA-viSAda mukti : lagabhaga 1967mAM huM pU. dIdI sAthe zrIlaMkA gaI hatI. temanAM pravacanono kAryakrama hato. temanI nizrA ane sevA sivAya pharavA ke jovAnuM kaMI bIjuM prayojana na hatuM. eka vAra sAMje ame nirAMte beThAM hatAM. meM pUchyuM : ""dIdI" Apa mArA jIvanathI kaMIka paricita cho. patinA avasAna pachI prAraMbhamAM jIvana pratye duHkhagarbhita vairAgyathI kaThoratA AvI temAMthI zuSkatA AvI, tyAra pachI have aMtaramAM zAMtinI, AnaMdanI cAhanA UThe che. paNa pelA zuSkatAnA saMskArathI eka prakAranA udvegano, viSAdano saMskAra thaI gayo che. bahAramAM prasanna chuM. mane duHkha che te bhAva pAMkho paDyo che. viSama prasaMge duHkha lAge che, te to saMsAranA kramane samatAthI nibhAvI levAya che. mahAbhAratamAM che ke arjunano viSAda 17mA adhyAye dUra thayo. mArA A viSAdane sattara varasa pUrAM thayAM che. tene mATe adhyAtmanI koI cAvI batAvo." sAmAjika sevA karI duHkhI bahenonI ghaNI duvA maLI. apaMga bALako paNa ghaNo saddabhAva rAkhe che. satsaMgI mitrono prema maLyo che, tamAruM sAnnidhya maLyuM che. paNa mArA aMtarano khAlIpo rUjhAto nathI. samaya sArI rIte satkAryamAM pasAra thAya che. paNa temAMthI AMtarika AnaMdanuM vaheNa maLatuM nathI. kevaLa satkArya karyAno saMtoSa che. have kaMI pariNIta jIvananI jhaMkhanA jevA sAMsArika vicAro satAvatA nathI. AthI adhyAtmanI vyAkhyA sAMbhaLuM chuM paNa AtmAnI samIpa javAtuM nathI. vacamAM A viSAdano sUkSma saMskAra naDe che? vartamAnamAM jIvavAnuM eTale "jANo, paNa gUMcAI na jAva', te sAMbhaLuM chuM paNa jANavAne badale jIva parabhAvamAM mUMjhAI jAya che. manamAM koI khUNe zArIrika vAsanAo paDI che teno saMskAra jAge che paNa saMtakRpAe zamI jAya che. jagatanA anya sukhabhoganA koI vikalpo khAsa mUMjhavatA nathI. e vibhAga-8 mArI maMgalayAtrA 188

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badhA tyAgamAM to haLavAza anubhavuM chuM. jagatamAM kazuM jovA-jANavAno, haravA-pharavAno koI pratibaMdha nathI. paraMtu e saMtakRpA kaho, koI paNa vRtti pedA thatI nathI. tyAga-vairAgyano bhAva dRDha thato jAya che. temAMthI AnaMda maLavAne badale zuSkatA-khAlIpo kema lAge che? evuM mAnuM chuM te barAbara che ? kyAreka sAttvika AnaMda anubhavuM chuM tyAre lAge che ke have kArya siddha thatuM jAya che. paraMtu te bhAva vAdaLAnI jema vikharAI jAya che. A sarva huM kahetI gaI; teo zAMtithI sAMbhaLatAM hatAM. AvuM ghaNuM kahI huM zAMta thaI. dIdI kahe : ""jayAre tame jene sukha mAnyuM hatuM te koNe ApyuM hatuM? te konuM hatuM ? kema maLyuM hatuM ?" meM kaMI javAba na Apyo. mAre kahevAnuM meM kahI dIdhuM hatuM. punaH kahe : ""tyAre tame ema mAnatAM hatAM ke A sukha sadAnuM che, mAruM che. mArA puNyathI maLyuM che. paNa te prArabbAdhIna hatuM. prArabdhaIzvare ApyuM te pUruM thayuM. jeNe ApyuM hatuM teNe pAchuM lIdhuM. Ano tame svIkAra karI zakyA nathI. tethI tamAruM duHkha haLavuM banatuM nathI. adhyAtma e che ke sukha tamAruM hatuM. gamyuM hatuM. duHkha paNa tamAruM che, samatAthI gamADavuM joIe. to duHkha TaLaze." pachI jarA teja svare kahyuM : "tame karmagraMtha bhaNyA teno bodha pariNAma pAmyo nathI. adhyAtmano bodha pariNAma pAmaze tyAre tame AtmabhAve jIvatA zIkhazo. te ja samaye du:kha, zuSkatA, boja badhuM dUra thaze. tamArI bhAvanA adhyAtmajIvananI che, eTale e kArya muzkela nathI. tame jarUra e dizAmAM pahoMcI zakazo. paMDitajIe zikSaNa ApyuM che ne ?" punaH kahe : "atyAra sudhI tame satkArya karyuM. paMDitajI pAse vAMcana karyuM, karmagraMtha zIkhyA, satkAryamAM chidravALuM pAtra bharAya nahi, jo ke tame samaya pasAra karyo te nirarthaka nathI gayo. paNa tenuM vaheNa Atma pratye vahyuM na hovAthI e pAsuM nirAmaya na banyuM. hRdaya bhIMjAyuM nahi, paNa badhuM zoSAI gayuM. hajI samaya che, zakti che. manobaLa keLavo, prabhune samarpita thAo. tamArI aMdara rahelI zaktine AnaMdarUpe pragaTa thavA do. thaze tenI khAtarI rAkho. mArI zubhAziSa che." prasannatAnI anubhUti : Ama ghaNI rIte mArA manano khulAso karyo. samaya thatAM teo mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-8 189

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ArAma mATe gayAM. amAro utAro dariyAkinAre zAMta sthaLe hato. mArI nidrA Ame ochI hatI. temAM A carcAmAMthI ghaNA vikalpo UDyA. lagabhaga rAtanA be vAgyA sudhI varaMDAmAM ekalI besI rahI. jema vRkSa uparathI pAkAM pAna kharatAM jAya tema mArA mananA vikalpo kharatA gayA tema tema pelo ajaMpo zamato gayo. zuM anubhava thayo ? barAbara be vAge mAruM citta mULa astitvanA AnaMdathI bharAI gayuM. jANe mane kahevA lAgyuM tArI aMdaramAM sukha ja che. zA mATe duHkhanI bhUtAvaLa UbhI kare che ? Ama ghaNI haLavAza anubhavI. varaMDAmAMthI rUmamAM gaI, tarata ja nirAMte nidrAne AdhIna thaI. savAre UThatAM khUba prasannatA anubhavI, aMtarasaMzodhana dvArA thayelA samAdhAnathI viSAda dUra thayo. savAre ame maLyAM mauna hatAM. paraMtu dIdI mArA mananI zAMtine kaLI gayAM. mAro hAtha dabAvI pratisAda Apyo. pU. dIdInA svazikSaNamAM zistabaddhatA : pU. dIdInI ArAdhanA-paddhati ghaNI ja zistabaddha hatI. pramAdavaza amArI bhUlo thayA kare tyAre zikSAmAM mauna ane ekAMta sUcavatAM, tyAre thoDI mUMjhavaNa thatI. paraMtu temanA pratyenI zraddhA-bhakti TakAvI detAM. dharmakriyA ke sevA, vAMcana ke vyavahArakriyA, darekamAM vyavasthita-cokkasapaNAno khUba Agraha-zista rAkhatAM. teo svazikSaNanI mukhyatA samajAvatAM. TUMkamAM emAM A jIvane ghaNuM zikSaNa maLyuM. teo aMtarathI vAtsalyapUrNa hatAM. tethI ame sau temanI pAse ucca zikSaNa meLavI zakyAM. nikaTatA sAdhI zakyAM hatAM. have teo AbumAM vadhu samaya gALe che. temanA nivAsanuM nAma "zivakuTi che. vizeSamAM Abu tathA himAlayamAM zibironuM Ayojana thatuM. tyAre mukhyatve mauna dhyAna prerita zikSaNa maLatuM, te mane ghaNuM lAbhadAyaka thayuM che. teo mane koI vAra kahetAM prathama jIvanamAM adhyAtma keLavo, jemAM AkuLatA nathI. pachI sAmAjika sevA thaze to te paNa adhyAtmarUpa banaze. pU. dIdInA sAnidhyamAM himAlaya pradezamAM nArAyaNa AzramanI satsaMga yAtrA : pU. dIdInA paricayamAM vividha sthaLo ane vyaktiono vizeSa paricaya rahyo. teo pote zrI vinobAjI sAthe pUrA bhAratanI pagapALA bhUdAnayAtrA karIne AvyAM hatAM. eTale vividha sthaLono paricaya hato. vibhAga-8 mArI maMgalayAtrA 190

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vaLI pote medhAvI, ghaNA anubhavI ane adhyAtmabaLavALAM hatAM. tethI sau temanA sAnnidhyamAM rahevA icchatAM ane bodha pAmatAM. sAdhako, vidvajano, saMto, sAmAjika kAryakaro ema vividha vyaktio temanA paricayamAM AvatA tevI temanI pratibhA hatI. himAlayanA pradezomAM be vAra DelahAusI uparAMta eka vAra 1967mAM ame nArAyaNa Azrama gayAM hatAM, je kailAsa jatA mArgamAM Ave che. moTaramAM ke basamAM alamoDA thaI vahetI nadInA pravAho pAse dhAracUlA gAma thaIne lagabhaga cauda kilomITara pahADa caDhavAno che. hAla to lagabhaga cheka sudhI vAhanavyavahAra thaI gayo che. nArAyaNa Azrama lagabhaga 11,000 phITa UMco che. varSo pahelAM nArAyaNa svAmI nAmanA saMta A TekarI para kuTira bAMdhIne rahyA hatA. nArAyaNa Azrama jatAM pahelAM vizrAma sthaLa jevuM nArAyaNanagara Ave che. tyAM traNa divasa rahyA.. te samaye vAhanavyavahAra nahIM hovAthI mANaso pITha para sAmAna lAvatA. ghaNA parizrame kArya thatuM, chatAM A AzramamAM suMdara sAmAnya sagavaDavALAM makAna, rAtri-divasa pANInI suvidhA, pahADamAM paNa sapATa bhUmimAM mIThA pANInuM sarovara AveluM che. sapATa bhUmi para unALAmAM vaTANA jevuM kaMIka zAka maLI rahetuM. te sivAya koI paNa cIja cauda kilomITara nIcethI lAvavI paDatI. tAra-TapAla paNa e ja rIte maLatAM. nArAyaNa AzramathI kailAsa pagapALA javAtuM. pU. dIdIe kailAsa javAnA vicArathI A sthaLa pasaMda karyuM hatuM paNa tyAre amane tyAM javA mATe maMjUrI maLI na hatI. pU. dIdInA paricayathI amane tyAM sArI suvidhA maLI hatI. nIce tavAgADha nAmanA gAma pAse eka gesTa hAusa hatuM. ame basamAM tyAM pahoMcyA. amane levA AzramanA 50 mANasono eka kAphalo levA Avyo hato. pU. dIdI, kalyANabhAI, bhAbhI, temano dIkaro zrIkAMta, prabhAbahena, huM, dakSA ane ame eka mANasa sAthe lIdho hato. pU. dIdInI paddhatimAM pUrI sagavaDa karIne javAnuM rahetuM. ane chatAM agavaDa paDe to hasatA mukhe rahevAnuM. na avAja, na phariyAda. huM, prabhAbahena ane bhAbhI traNe tAjI ja sarjarIvALAM hatAM. eTale amArI DoLInA darekanA 8 mANasa adalAbadalI karavAne kAraNe kula 24, mArI maMgalayAtrA 191 vibhAga-8

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amArA darekanA traNa muddA ane thoDI rasoI, khAkharA, nAstAnA sAmAnanA trIsa jevA muddA, te UMcakavA mATe 15 jevA mANaso - Ama lagabhaga amAro 50 jevA mANasano kAphalo pahADa para UpaDyo. vahelI savAre nIkaLyAM. vacamAM thoDuM rokAtAM, ame sAMje cAra vAge nArAyaNa Azrama pahoMcyAM. sthaLa sAva ajANyuM paNa atyaMta raLiyAmaNuM, game tevuM hatuM. jyAM juo tyAM cAMdInI jema camakatI himagirinI hAramALA. vAtAvaraNa evuM zAMta ke soya paDe to paNa saMbhaLAya. rAtre ApaNA hRdayanA dhabakArA moTA avAja jevA lAge. eka-be kalAkamAM ame goThavAI gayAM. lagabhaga menI Akharano samaya hato. sAMja paDI. thoDo varasAda ane karA paDyA, ane ame to TharI gayAM. khIcaDI jevuM karIne jamyAM. thoDI vAra tApaNAM pAse beThAM pachI sUvAnI taiyArI karI. tApaNA pAsethI UThyA anya oraDAmAM tApaNAM na hatAM. jADA be oDhavAnA ane je kAMI paheryuM hoya te. mane kaMI AvI ThaMDIno khyAla nahi. mArI pAse paheravAnuM ochuM hatuM. mArI UMgha ochI, rAtre bahAra javuM paDe, ThaMDIne kAraNe lagabhaga rAtri jAgatA kADhavI paDI. divase paNa phakta nAka-AMkha khullAM rakhAya tevI ThaMDI kharI. chatAM ArAdhanAno AnaMda hato. pU. dIdI sAthe divase dhyAna-vAcanamAM ekAMta nirava zAMtimAM AnaMda Avato. judI ja duniyA lAgatI. bapore taDako thAya tyAre sAruM lAge paNa sAMja paDe ThaMDI vadhe ane varasAda paDe. rAta paDe nidrAdevI risAya tyAre kAgane DoLe huM savAranI rAha jouM. anya sau ThaMDImAM godaDAmAM UMghI jatAM. te saune mIThI IrSAthI jotI, bhale te sau sukhe nidrA le. - savAranA tyAM DabbAnA dUdhanI cA banatI. huM sUMThanI goLI laI jatI, te UkaLatA pANImAM nAkhIne pI letI. (rAba) nAsto laI gayA hatAM te karatAM. rasoImAM masUranI dALa, kyAreka bhAta, roTalI taiyAra loTanI, kyAreka vaTANA maLatA. koI bhAjI maLatI, ame hAthe ja rasoI banAvatA. te rasoI te pradezamAM mIThI lAgatI. himAlayanA pradezamAM savAre vahelI thatI. 4-30 thI pa-00 vAge jo AkAza cokhyuM hoya to sUryadeva pragaTa thatA. himamALA paNa cAMdInI jema camakatI. te jovAno paNa AnaMda hato. ame vahelAM UThI jatAM. savAre pa-30 thI 6-30 dhyAnamAM besatAM. pachI dUdha-pANI vigere patAvI, vibhAga-8 mArI maMgalayAtrA 12

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snAna karavAnI garama pANInI sArI sagavaDa hatI. tyAM snAnanI roje jarUra na hatI. paraMtu Adata pramANe snAna karatAM. 10 thI 11 pU. dIdI bodha ApatAM. pachI jamI paravArI aMgata vAMcana ke dhyAna karatAM. vaLI 3-30 vAge pU. dIdI sAthe besatAM. sAMje thoDuM pharatAM. savAre vahelI tema sAMja paNa vahelI thatI. sAMje prabhAbahena, bhAI, bhAbhI khAsa vAtacIta mATe anyatra beThA hoya tyAre sAMje mane ekalavAyuM lAgatuM. chatAM pU. dIdIno sahavAsa ja prasannatApUrNa hato. te divasomAM ArAdhanAnuM baLa vikAsa pAmyuM. ThaMDaka hovA chatAM pramAda vagara dinacaryA goThavAtI. temAM dIdIno satsaMga vizeSa AnaMda Apato. A sthAna sAMsArika viSayo sparyA vagaranuM pavitra hatuM. eTale ekAgratA mATe bahu prayAsa karavo paDyo na hato. - nArAyaNa AzramamAM tyAMnA becAra nivAsI rahetA hatA. kyAreka vAtacIta thAya tyAre temanA jANavAmAM AvyuM ke huM amadAvAda samAjasevA karuM chuM. tyAre mane kahe ke tame ahIM rahI jAva. thoDe aMtare ahIM vacamAM becAra gAma che tyAM amane tamArI sevAno lAbha Apo. meM kahyuM, "unALo che chatAM huM to sAMja paDe TharI jAuM chuM. eTale jo ahIM rahuM to ziyALAmAM to taddana ja TharI jAuM. pachI kAma zuM karuM? thoDA divasa sagavaDabharyuM rahevAnuM, jJAna-dhyAna karavAnuM eTale bhAI, amane sAruM lAge. bAkI ame to samataLa bhUmimAM rahenArA jIvo. ahIM raLiyAmaNuM chatAM amane DarAmaNuM lAge." mArI tathA dakSAnI AzramathI vidAya : mAre ane dakSAne ekavIsa divasa pachI amadAvAda mosALAnA prasaMga mATe nIkaLavAnuM hatuM. bIjA sau hajI paMdara divasa rahevAnAM hatAM. ame baMne DoLImAM vIseka mANasa sAthe nIkaLyAM. nIkaLatAM amArAM nayana sajaLa hatAM. dakSA kahe : mane rahI javA do. paNa vaLI kahe : nA, paNa tame ekalA kevI rIte jAva ? chevaTe ame baMne nIkaLyAM. agAu jaNAvyuM te pramANe amadAvAda vahelA AvavAnuM prayojana mAre zAradAbahenanI dIkarInAM lagnanuM mosALuM laI javAnuM hatuM. AzramanI nIce tavAgADha pahoMcyAM. DoLIvALA paNa pAchA jatA hatA. tyAre dakSA kahe : "mammI" cAlone pAchA nArAyaNa Azrama jaIe. amadAvAda bhAIbhAbhI mosALuM karI Avaze. tene samajAvI to paNa DoLIvALAne jatA mArI maMgalayAtrA 193 vibhAga-8

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joIne raDI paDI. kharekhara ApaNe amadAvAda javuM paDaze ! mAthe hAtha pheravIne chAnI rAkhI. thoDI vAra tenI sAthe pAnAM ramI paNa tene pAnA ramavAmAM rasa na paDyo. sUnamUna thaIne UMghI gaI. ApaNuM mana kevuM pAtaLI kAcanI baMgaDI jevuM che ! gameluM chUTI jatAM naMdavAI jAya. musApharImAM sajjanatAno anubhava : - nArAyaNa AzramanI taLeTImAM tavAgADha rAtre rahyAM. tyAMnA eka bhAI sAthe savAre basamAM rANIkheta pahoMcyAM. vaLI savAre nIkaLI rAtre dilhI pahoMcyAM. sTezana para khabara paDI ke amAruM rijharvezana thayuM nathI. dakSA hajI svastha na hatI. ame pharsTa kalAsanA eka DabbAmAM sAmAna goThavIne beThA tyAM eka yuvAna tenAM traNa nAnAM bhAI-baheno sAthe Avyo. te TikiTa batAvI kahe A DabbAmAM mAruM rijharvezana che, tame khAlI karo. meM kahyuM : bhAI, amane rijharvezana maLyuM nathI. ame rAtre nIce besI jaIzuM, tame tamArI sITa para ArAma karo. tyAM to TI.TI. AvyA. sAmAnya rIte TI.TI. to AmAM khAsa rakama paDAve. paraMtu sadbhAgye te sajjane pelA yuvAnane samajAvyo ke bhAI, tamArI mA mAnI A bahenone besavA de. tArAM bhAI-baheno to nAnAM che. jagAno vAMdho nahi Ave. pelo yuvAna Ama relave adhikArIno dIkaro hato tethI zarUAtamAM jarA AkarA thaI nA pADI. TI.TI. ne khyAla hato ja ke Ame A yuvAna to phrI pAsethI musApharI karavAno che. tethI ke game tema paNa TI.TI.e tene zAMtithI samajAvyo. yuvAna jarA dhImo paDyo. teNe teno sAmAna goThavI dIdho. rAtre lagabhaga 9 vAgyA hatA. ame mA-dIkarIe nIce bistaro pAtharyo. dakSAnA manane vALavA meM pAnAM kADhyAM. Ama huM to ramatI nahi paNa teNe pAnAM sAthe rAkhelAM. ame pAnAM ramavAM zarU karyA. te vakhate pelAM nAnAM bALako amArI AjubAju goThavAI gayAM. teone pAnAM ramavAnI majhA paDI. pachI to yuvAna paNa amArI sAthe pAnAM ramavA beTho. Ama ekAda kalAka AnaMdathI pasAra thayo. AmAM saMtonAM AziSa paNa kAma kare che. saue suvAnI taiyArI karI. pelo yuvAna kahe : mArAM bhAI-baheno nAnA che, upara sUI nahi jAya. tame uparanI eka khAlI sITa che te laI vibhAga-8 194 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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zako cho. Ama dakSA upara sUI gaI huM vacamAM sUI gaI. ame baMne nArAyaNa AzramanI mIThI smRtine manamAM vAgoLatA hatA. mana kahetuM zA mATe vahelA pAchA vaLyA ? - savAra thaI tyAM to have pelo yuvAna amAre mATe pANI laI Avyo. bIjA kAma paNa pUchavA lAgyo amAre kaMI kAma hatuM nahi. dakSA AhAramAM cIkaNI hatI. eTale ene kaMI khAvuM na hatuM. mAre paNa khAvAnuM na hatuM. ema karatAM 11 vAge sAbaramatI AvyuM. amane levA atula, ramonA. naMditA AvyAM hatAM. naMditAne joIne dakSA rAjIrAjI thaI gaI. tene upADIne vahAla karavA lAgI. mane lAgyuM ke nArAyaNa Azrama have bhuloco? hajI dakSAnAM lagna thayAM na hatA. pelA yuvAnano AbhAra mAnI, sAmAna laI ame ghare javA nIkaLyAM. ghare pahoMcyAM eTale thoDI vAramAM badhuM goThavAI gayuM. saMsAranA khela AvA che. ghaDI rAjI ghaDI nArAjI, ghaDI harSa ghaDI zoka. Ame atula-dakSA nAnAM hatAM tyArathI temane mANasonI hAjarI khUba game. khAvA-pIvAnA jalasA thAya. huM te pramANe badhuM karI ApuM. paNa takalIpha e ke jyAre sau vidAya thAya tyAre mANelo AnaMda bASpIbhavana thaI jAya. baMne lagabhaga raDI jAya. vaLI thoDo vakhata thAya eTale ramatAM thAya. temAM paNa temanA pitAjInA gayA pachI teone sagA-mitro sAthe rahevuM bahu ja gamatuM. Ama amAro pravAsano prasaMga saMpanna thayo. amadAvAda AvI mosALAne divase mosALuM laIne haoNla para gayAM. saue AvakAryA, beThakamAM beThAM, tyAM eka vicAra jhabakyo ke huM A prasaMgamAM AvI na hota to varaghoDiyAM kuMvArAM rahe kharAM ! A prasaMga atula-ramonA karI zakayAM hota. ane te vakhate eka nirNaya karyo ke have satsaMga jevAM anuSThAno choDI sAMsArika prasaMgamAM javuM nahi. Ama joke huM teonA gayA pachI lagna vigeremAM jatI na hatI. paraMtu vaLI chellAM dasa varSathI, atulanAM lagnathI javAnuM zarU karyuM hatuM. te have gauNa karavAno nirNaya karyo ane chevaTe lagabhaga 1975 thI to taddana tyAga ja karyo. emAM mArI hAjarInI jarUra jaNAtI na hatI. atula-2monA te mATe sakSama hatAM, te kArya karI letAM. koI vAra te prasaMgonA dhArmika prakAromAM hAjarI ApatI. mArI maMgalayAtrA 15 vibhAga-8

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pU. dIdI sAthe DelahAusInI satsagayAtrA : pU. dIdI sAthe 1966mAM prathama vAra DelahAusI satsaMga yAtrA thaI tyAre ame pAMca ja hatAM. eka sagavaDavALuM makAna rAkhIne cha saptAha sAthe ja rahyAM. kAma mATe eka mANasa laI gayA hatA. amAruM makAna ekAMta sthAne hatuM. ahIM ThaMDI sahya hatI. pU. dIdI sAthe huM, kalyANabhAI, suzIlAbhAbhI, prabhAbahena, rahetAM. vaLI je koI paricita AvatA te potAnI vyavasthA karI letA. savAre snAnAdi karI zuddha vastra paherIne pU. dIdInI sAthe dhyAnamAM besatAM, savAre 5 thI 6 dhyAna thAya. pachI eka kalAka dIdI adhyAtmapreraka vArtAlApa karatAM. savAranuM zirAmaNa thaI jAya pachI svAdhyAya karIe. rasoI vigere karI jamIne tarata ja 12 thI 1 lagabhaga 5-7 kilomITara pharavAnuM. kAraNa ke sAMje A pradezamAM lagabhaga varSA thatI. bapore ArAma karI vaLI eka svAdhyAya thato. sAMje rasoI jamI paravArI pU. dIdI sAthe haLavI carcA-vinoda thatAM. bIjA saune nIMdara sAthe mitratA, eTale nava vAge sUI jatA. koIvAra bhAI, bhAbhI ane prabhAbahena temanI khAsa carcA mATe besatA tyAre huM kaMI vAMcana karatI, pachI sUI jatI. A sthAnomAM AvanAra be-pAMca divasa rahe pachI anya sthaLe jAya. ame cha saptAha rahevAnA hatA. eka divasa eka oLakhItA mitra maLyA. "tame ahIM ATalo vakhata zuM karazo?" "ame ahIM kaMI na karavA mATe AvyA chIe. karavAnuM to amadAvAda paDayuM che, hA paNa ArAma ke mojamajA mATe nathI AvyA. paraMtu jJAna-dhyAnanI ArAdhanA mATe AvyA chIe." e bhAI kevI rIte samaje? ahIM koI tIrtha nahi, maMdira nahi. ane ahIM sAdhanA zuM karavAnI ? are bhAI ! jyAM saMtono samAgama te tIrtha, ane ArAdhakono samUha jyAM bese te ArAdhanA sthaLa hoya ! vaLI adhyAtma preraka zikSaNa levuM te sAdhanA. ame sAMsArika vyavahAra-vyApAranAM kAryothI mukta thaIne AvyAM hatAM. hila sTezane paNa zarIranA dharma khAtara pharavAnuM rAkhatAM. kaMI jovAjANavAnuM hatuM nahi. je kAMI jovuM-jANavuM hatuM te have aMtaHstalamAM hatuM. tethI bAhya jIvananI praNAlIonI gauNatA thaI ja jatI. AhArAdimAM paNa saMyama paLAto. Ama jIvanamAM ArAdhanAno uttama avasara hato. vibhAga-8 mArI maMgalayAtrA 196

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vaLI kyAreka AjubAjunA pradezomAM pUro divasa gALatAM, tyAM paNa dhyAnapravacana hoya. punaH DelahAusInI satsaMgayAtrA : pachI bIjI vAra lagabhaga 1973mAM DelahAusI gayAM. tyAre to vyaktigata judA nivAsamAM rahevAnuM hatuM. jethI ekAMta, mauna tathA nirbhayatAno guNa keLavAya. eka haoNTelanA makAnamAM ATha jevA blaoNka rAkhyA hatA. tyAM saunA vyaktigata nivAsamAM potAnI rasoI karI levAnI. koIe bhegAM maLIne gappAM goSThi karavAnAM nahi. pU. dIdIe darzAvelo krama svataMtrapaNe karavAno. bapore phakta 3 thI 4-30 pravacana hoya. te pachI pharavAmAM mitro maLe. cha vAgatAM to nivAse pahoMcI javAnuM. kAraNa ke sAMja paDe ThaMDaka ane varSo lagabhaga thAya. koI vAra taddana ekAMtathI mUMjhavaNa thAya. samAjanAM kAryo, gharanAM svajano yAda Ave. temAM paNa naMditA traNeka varSanI hatI. amArI sAthe rahetI, sUtI eTale te yAda AvatI. vaLI khabara AvatAM ke naMditA tamArA vagara raDI jAya che. tyAre savizeSa yAda AvatI. paraMtu pU. dIdInuM prerakabaLa ane navakAramaMtra dvArA mana prasanna thatuM. savAre dUdha, khAkharA; bapore pUruM jamaNa cAra cIjanuM dareke jAte banAvavAnuM hatuM. sAMje dUdha, phaLa. Ama AhArano krama raheto. ekaMdare ArAdhanAno AnaMda hato. sAthe pU. gaMgAbA bAjunA blokamAM hatAM, AbumAM mane temanA nivAsa sAthe rahevAno paricaya hato. eka vAra evuM banyuM ke bAjunA oraDAomAM pAMca-sAta yuvAno AvelA. teo vyasana karIne tophAne caDhelA. mAruM eka bAraNuM te oraDAmAM paDatuM hatuM. eTale thoDo Dara lAgyo. paNa jAgatI rahI. navakAra gaNyA. Ama nirbhayatAno abhyAsa thato. te samaye samAjasevAnuM kAma cAlu hatuM. eTale mAre amuka tArIkhe nIkaLavAnuM meM pU. dIdIne jaNAvyuM hatuM. bIjAM badhAM eka divasa pachI nIkaLavAnAM hatAM. mAre ekalA nIkaLavAnuM hatuM. tethI TikiTa levA janAra bhAI pUchavA AvyA ke amArI sAthe tamArI TikiTa karAvIe ? meM kahyuM: "meM dIdIne mArI tArIkha ApI che. tethI have pheraphAra na karI zakuM." ""paNa tame sAva ekalA cho, ane ame to dasa vyaktio chIe." hA, paNa pheraphAra karuM te barAbara nahi.' mArI maMgalayAtrA 197 vibhAga-8

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pelA bhAIne TikiTa levA lagabhaga 40 mAIla nIce javAnuM hatuM. tethI kaMI kAmakAja che ema pUchavA pU. dIdI pAse gayAM. temaNe pote pU. dIdIne saheje vigata jaNAvI. ane khAsa kahyuM ke sunaMdAbahena ekalAM ja che. Apane tArIkha kahI hovAthI pheraphAra karavAnI nA kahe che. pU. dIdIe tarata ja pheraphAra karAvI dIdho. Ama je thAya te ThIka ja thAya che. ame sau sAthe nIkaLyAM. AjJApAlana paNa jaLavAyuM. pU. gaMgAbA paNa sAthe hatAM. pU. gaMgAbA jhaverIno paricaya : pU. dIdInA samAgama samaye pU. gaMgAbAno mAro paricaya dIrghakALa sudhI rahyo tethI kaMIka lakhavA prerAI chuM. teo bALavidhavA hatAM. amadAvAdanA garbhazrImaMta lagabhaga pAMca dasakA jevI vayanA zrI bAlAbhAI jhaverI sAthe gaMgAbA soLa varSanI vaye lagnagraMthithI joDAyAM, alpa samayamAM vidhavA thayAM. vaidhavyanA divaso duHkhe pasAra to thatA hatA. saMyukta kuTuMbamAM jIvana nabhatuM hatuM. jJAti ane dharma ane samAna praNAlInAM hatAM. lagabhaga 1942mAM gAMdhIjInI satyAgrahanI laDatamAM, kAryakramamAM teo nIDaratAthI joDAyAM. sAthe kuTuMba paNa joDAyuM hatuM. pUruM kuTuMba gAMdhIjInA raMge raMgAI gayuM. AthI gaMgAbAne ghaNI mokaLAza rahI. teoe jelavAsa bhogavyo hato. vaLI sAbaramatI Azrama sthapAyo tyAre teo bA ane bApujI sAthe nikaTatAthI rahyAM. teo temanA anubhava kahetAM tyAre lAgatuM ke jyAM temanI zrImaMtAI ane kyAM atyaMta sAdAIbharyuM zramavALuM jIvana ? paNa bA pAse AMtarika baLa ghaNuM hatuM. AjhAdI pachI AbAdI mATe je je kAryonuM Ayojana thatuM temAM bhAga letAM. vaLI vikAsagRha ke jayotisaMgha jevI saMsthAomAM vayovRddha thayA chatAM hAjarI ApatAM. tyAre to yuvAna ja lAge. AbumAM temanA dIkarAoe nakhI taLAva upara makAna rAkheluM. koI vAra tyAM jatAM, temane pU. dIdIno paricaya thayo. pachI to ghaNI vAra temanA saMparkamAM rahetAM. pUjya dIdInA AdezathI temanI sAthe satsaMga yAtrA mATe DelahAusI eka vAra AvyAM hatAM. AbumAM mane temano paricaya thayo. mane te vaDIla jevI hUMpha ApatAM. Abu mAre ghaNI vAra temanI sAthe rahevAnuM thatuM. temano eka jUno mANasa sAthe rAkhatAM. eTale mAre kaMI kAma na hoya paraMtu, temane pravacanamAM laI javAM, temanI vibhAga-8 mArI maMgalayAtrA 198

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sAthe bhakti-satsaMga karavAthI temane AnaMda thato. eka vAra mane kahe : "tame mArI kevI sevA kare cho ? AvatA janma tame mAro dIkaro thajo.' "bA, have ApaNe vaLI AvA janma levAnA bhAva karavAnA nA hoya; janma-maraNa TALavAnA bhAva karavAnA che" ""to ema karo mArA maraNa pachI mArI nanAmI UMcakavA Avajo" "bA, tamAre cAra dIkarA (pautro) cAra bAju UMcake evA che pachI mAruM zuM kAma ?" (sAvakA putrono parivAra hato paNa bheda na hatA.) "to doNI laIne pAchaLa Avajo." "e paNa tamArA svajana kare ne ?" "sAruM jA, to pachI aMta samaye navakAra saMbhaLAvavA to avAyane?" "bA, hA, e to ApaNA baMne mATe sAruM." pachI meM hasatAM ramUja karI ke "bA. tame dIkaro banAvavAnI vAta karo cho paNa tamArA vIlamAM mAruM nAma lakhyuM che ke pachI dIkaro dIkaro bolyA karo cho?" bA kahe, "tame bahu jabarA nIkaLyA." Ama bA sAthe amAro nirdoSa nAto hato. eka vAra huM apaMga mAnavamaMDaLanA kAryAlayamAM beThI hatI. bA lAkaDI ThakaThaka karatAM AvyAM. meM temano hAtha pakaDI mArI sAme khurazI para besADyAM. "bA, Aje ahIM kyAMthI? AvyAM te sAruM karyuM." "tame kahetA hatA ne ke vIlamAM mAruM nAma lakhyuM che ? lo, A pacAsa hajArano ceka. tame to lo nahi eTale A tamArI saMsthAne ApavA AvI chuM." Ama temaNe majAkanI vAtane paNa sAcI TharAvI. A rIte mAre temanI sAthe ghaNI vAra rahevAnuM thatuM. ame anyonya saraLabhAvathI rahetAM. kyAreka gADI rAkhatAM tyAre roje delavADA darzanapUjA karavA laI jatI. teo mArI jema zvetAMbara mUrtipUjaka saMskAranA hatA tethI temane paNa e badhuM gamatuM. sAmAyika ane navakAranI ArAdhanA ame sAthe karatAM. pU. dIdI paNa amArA nivAse koI vAra bhojana mATe padhAratAM. nirAMte besatAM, satsaMga karatAM. teo bAnI bahu saMbhALa rAkhatAM. ethI bA vadhu khuza rahetAM. "saMtono sneha kyAMthI. ?" te vakhate gaMgAbA lagabhaga bANuM varSanI vaya vaTAvI gayA hatA. mArI maMgalayAtrA 199 vibhAga-8

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pAchaLathI paga aTakyA eTale javA-AvavAnuM baMdha thayuM hatuM. tyAM to temane eka divasa bImArI AvI. bebhAna thaI gayAM. kaMI sudhAro thAya tevo na hato. be divasa sudhI mane khabara maLyAM na hatAM. ramAbahena apaMga mAnava maMDaLamAM mArI sAthe kAma karatAM hatAM. be divasathI joyAM nahi eTale pUchatAM khabara maLyAM ke temanAM dAdI-sAsu bImAra che. mane ema ke be divasa pachI jaIza. saMsthAmAMthI ghare AvavA nIkaLI. tyAM vaLI vicAra Avyo ke gaMgAbAnI khabara levA Aje ja javA de. ane gADI temanA dIkarAnA ghare levarAvI. joke gaMgAbA to bebhAna hatAM. paNa mane peluM temanuM vacana yAda AvyuM ke navakAra saMbhaLAvavA AvIzane ? mane thayuM ke temane bhale bhAna nathI paNa hajI zarIramAM cetanA che. eTale temanI pAse besI meM navakAramaMtra zarU karyA. barAbara traNa navakAra pUrA thayA, tyAM to narse hAtha karyo, huM samajI gaI ke temano AtmA A pArthiva deha tyajI prayANa karI gayo che. mane eTalo saMtoSa thayo ke temanI bhAvanA ane mAruM vacana baMne pUrNa thayAM. saMtonA samAgamamAM karelI bhAvanAo A janme A rIte sAkAra thAya che, te uparAMta teno saMskAra sAthe AvI anya janmamAM paNa sahAyaka nIvaDe che. mATe jene sukhI thavuM hoya teNe saMta-samAgama sevavo. pU. dIdI sAthe banArasanI yAtrAmAM pU. AnaMdamayI mAno saMparkaH pU. dIdI sAthe eka be vAra banArasa javAnuM thayuM hatuM. tyAM temanA pravacano hatA. teone ArAma paNa karavo hato tyAre zrI kizanasiMha cAvaDA sAthe hatA. jo ke mAro nivAsa temanAthI thoDe dUra eka oraDAmAM judo hato. paraMtu divase temanA sAnnidhyamAM rahevA jamavAnuM goThavAtuM. te samaye pU. AnaMdamayI mA ne maLavAnuM thayuM hatuM. saMsArathI aliptabhAve rahenAra vyaktiomAM pavitratA pamare che tevI anubhUti pU. mA ne maLIne thaI. teo khAsa vAtacIta karatA nahi. ame temanI sAme mauna beThA hatA. te amArI sAthe najara meLavI "kRSpo' bolI sasmita vadane pAchA zAMta thatA. paraMtu temanI prasannatA ane "kRSNo' zabdano guMjArava mArA para ajabano prabhAva pADatuM. te samaye mane nIrava zAMtino anubhava thayo. pArthiva jagatanA bhAva zamI gayA tevuM aMtaramAM anubhavAyuM. Ama jIvanamAM keTalA mahAmanA AtmAonuM pavitra jharaNuM vahyuM che ! vibhAga-8 mArI maMgalayAtrA 2OO

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jeno strota baLapreraka rahyo che, ghaDatara thatuM rahyuM che. AsAmanA "maitrI' AzramamAM zibira : AsAmanI sarahade zrI vinobAjIe maitrI Azrama sthApyo hato. mULa Azaya e hato ke tyAM pAkistAnanI sarahada hatI, temAM maitrIbhAva sthApita thAya. A Azrama bhAratanA grAmINa jIvananA Adarza para racAyo hato. tenA saMcAlaka amRtakuMvara bahena garbhazrImaMta kuTuMbano tyAga karI AjIvana bhekha laI atre sthira thayAM hatAM. lagabhaga pacIsa jevAM baheno atre sevAkArya karatAM hatAM. temanI sAdAI, zrama ane sevAbhAvathI ghaNuM zIkhavA maLatuM. tene mATe ApaNI AMkha, mana khullAM joIe. pU. dIdInI nizrAmAM ahIM zibiranuM Ayojana karavAmAM AvyuM hatuM. AzramanuM nAma "maitrI' hatuM. AthI viSaya paNa maitrI jevo ja rAkhyo hato. be vAra pravacana thatAM hatAM. pU. dIdI sAthe zrI kisanasiMha cAvaDA, banArasathI premAbahena ane huM ame cAra AsAma gayAM hatAM. A AzramamAM Adhunika vijJAnano kAMI sparza na hato. A pradezamAM dUdhALAM pazuonI alpatA che. vaLI A Azrama tadana sarahada para hato eTale tAjA dUdhanI zakyatA na hatI. moTe bhAge AzramArthIo cA jevI AdatathI mukta hatAM. chatAM pAvaDaranI cAnI vyavasthA thaI zakatI. vaLI hajI ahIM gesanA cUlA jevI sagavaDa na hatI. lAkaDAnA cUle rasoI karavAnI ane kUvAmAMthI pANI kADhavAnuM hatuM. tyAM keLa para keLAM thatAM te zAka, masUranI dALa ane cokhA maLatAM. ame sAthe thoDo ghauMno loTa laI gayA hatA. amArI sAthe banArasathI premAbahena joDAyAM hatAM. teo pU. dIdInAM pravacana akSarasaH lakhI ApatAM. jenuM pachI pustaka prasiddha thayuM hatuM. meM rasoInuM kAma lIdhuM hatuM. koI baheno lAkaDAno cUlo saLagAvI ApatAM. to paNa lIlA lAkaDAM eTale AMkhamAMthI pANI (raDAve) nIkaLe. koI vAra pU. dIdI vahelAM AvI jAya to kahe : ""are kyoM raDatI hai, ghara yAda AtA hai na !'' Ama hase-hasAve. vaLI koI bahena madada kare... ema AnaMdapUrvaka rasoI thatI. vaLI kUvethI nahAvA, kapaDAM dhovAnuM pANI kADhavAnuM, garagaDI hoya paNa doraDuM kheMcavuM paDe, eTale zarIramAM lohI che tenI khabara paDe, hAtha lAla lAla thaI Ave ne! mArI maMgalayAtrA 201 vibhAga-8

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masUradALa, bhAta, roTalI ke paroThA, keLAMnuM zAka teono rasama paNa hoya. A badhuM khUba sAttvika hatuM, tevuM svAzrayI hatuM. ApaNA AzramonI jema nokaranI prathA ja nathI. AzramArthIo lagabhaga sAdhu jevuM sAduM jIvana gALatA. temanuM jIvana joIne saheje ja zIkhavA maLatuM. ahIM ame paMdara divasa rahyAM. ekaMdare prasannatApUrvaka te divaso pasAra thayA. anyatra betraNa sthaLoe javAnuM thayuM hatuM. ame AsAmathI nIkaLyAM. premAbahena banArasanI TreIna badalavA vacamAM UtaravAnAM hatAM. pU. dIdI ane kisanasiMhabhAI eka kUpamAM hatAM. ame baMne bIjA kaMpArTamenTamAM hatAM. premAbahena rAtre UtarI gayAM. pachI huM bAraNuM baMdha karI beThI hatI, koIe bAraNuM khakhaDAvyuM. mane jarA bhaya lAgyo paNa meM bAraNuM kholyuM ja nahi. pachI to savAra sudhI besI rahI. ajANyo pradeza ane ekalI hatI. paraMtu gurukRpAe kaMI vAMdho na Avyo. nirbhayatAno guNa keLavAto gayo. pU. dIdInA zikSaNamAM maitrI, nirbhayatA jevA guNono bodha vizeSa prakAre raheto. tevA prayoga paNa karAvatA. zrI badrInAthajI tathA zrI kedAranAthajInI yAtrA : lagabhaga 1970mAM pU. dIdIe cAra dhAmanI yAtrA nakkI karI hatI. teonI sAthe kalyANabhAI, bhAbhI, prabhAbahena ane huM joDAvAnAM hatAM. paraMtu amAre traNene sarjarI thayelI eTale pU. dIdI vahelAM nIkaLyAM. gaMgotrI-jamanotrI jaI AvyAM. tyAra pachI badrInAtha ane kedAranAthanI yAtrA mATe amane temano Adeza maLyo. kalyANabhAI, suzIlAbhAbhI, prabhAbahena ane huM. amAre cAra mitroe amadAvAdathI amArI gADI laIne temane haradvAra maLavuM ema nakkI thayuM. lagabhaga me mAsamAM ame gADImAM nIkaLyAM. traNa divase teone haradvAra ame maLyAM. pU. dIdI pagapALAM bhUdAnayAtrAmAM ghaNAM sthaLoe gayelAM. eTale khUba paricita hatAM. dareka sthaLe amane emanA kAraNe sArI sagavaDa maLatI. vaLI ame khAvAnuM ghaNuM kharuM jAte banAvatAM. eTale amArI pAse sAmAna ghaNo hoya. jyAM UtarIe tyAM kalyANabhAI bahAranuM kAma saMbhALe. prabhAbahena pU. dIdInuM kAma saMbhALe. huM ane bhAbhI prAyamasa para rasoInuM kAma saMbhALIe. Ama amArI satsaMgayAtrA khUba ja svAzrayI ane sAttvikatApUrNa hatI, vibhAga-8 202 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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virAmasthAnoe vizrAma karatAM. satsaMga karatAM AnaMdathI pravAsamAM AgaLa vadhatAM hatAM. pahADanA peTamAM gADI cAle. pUrA rastA ekamArgI TrAphikavALA hoya. savAre baso tathA badhAM ja vAhano UpaDe. bapore badhAM vAhano pAcho Utare evI vyavasthA hatI. eTale ekAMta chatAM vAhanono moTo kAphalo sAthe ja hoya. eka ja vAhana jaI zake. vAhananuM ullaMghana to thAya ja nahi. eka bAju UMcA pahADa, tenI bIjI bAju moTI khINa. jemAM nadInuM jabarajasta vaheNa vahetuM hoya. ekasarakhuM jotAM cakkara ja Ave. haradvArathI badrInAtha ame amArI gADImAM javA nIkaLyA. Ama to sAMje pahoMcI javAnuM hatuM. paraMtu mArgamAM koI jagyAe zIlA dhasI javAthI mArga baMdha thayo hato. himAlaya pradezamAM pAkistAnanI sarahada najIkamAM eTale miliTarI ane vAhanavyavahAranI suvidhAvALA mArgo hatA. ane tethI mArgamAM miliTarI dvArA tarata ja sudhAro thaI jato, chatAM eka rAta to amAre kyAMka gALavAnI hatI. mArga baMdha thavAthI badhA ja so jevAM vAhano. je gAmamAM so jevAM mANasone sUvAnI sagavaDa maLe tyAM hajAra mANasa rokAI gayuM. sAMja paDI, ThaMDI vadhI. loko jyAM jagA maLI tyAM goThavAyA. ThaMDI ghaNI hatI. garIba, zrImaMta bheda TaLI gayA hoya tevuM lAgyuM. amane eka jagAe eka ozarI maLI gaI. tyAM ame amArA bistarA pAtharIne rAta gALI. pU. dIdImAM muzkelImAM paNa hiMmata ane dhIrajathI je maLe te vyavasthA svIkAravAnuM sattva hovAthI amane khAsa takalIpha jevuM lAgyuM nahi. savAre UThyAM, najIkamAM kaMI kudaratI kAryanI sagavaDa maLI. taiyAra thayAM. Ama to ekAda kalAkano ja mArga bAkI hato. mArganuM samArakAma thatAM ame vaLI UpaDyAM. sAMja pahelAM badrInAtha pahoMcyAM. amArA utArAnI vyavasthA "hAza' thAya tevI hatI. eka moTo oraDo, sUvAnA-oDhavAnAM sAdhano hatAM. jo ke ThaMDInuM pramANa kharuM chatAM amane sagavaDa sArI maLI hatI. sAmAnya rIte A sthaLe loko be-traNa divasa rahe. ame nava divasa rahevAnAM hatAM. pavitra sthaLanI sparzanA lAMbo vakhata rahevAthI ja lAbhadAyI thAya. sAdhanasAmagrI pramANe rasoI vigere karatAM. garama pANInA kuMDamAM snAna karI letAM. amAro samaya jJAna-dhyAnanI ArAdhanAmAM jato. pU. dIdI himAlayamAM vadhu mauna rAkhatAM mArI maMgalayAtrA 203 vibhAga-8

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chatAM khUba prasannatAno anubhava thato. pUrA nava divasa badrInAthajI rahyAM pachI ame kedAranAtha javA nIkaLyAM. A sthaLa lagabhaga 13000 phITa UMcAIe che. 22 mAIla jevuM caDhANa che. ahIM vAhanavyavahAra nathI. pahADanA peTamAM pagapALA mArga karelo che. pU. dIdIe pUrI yAtrA pagapALA karI. kalyANabhAI lagabhaga pagapALA caDhyA. ame traNa DoLImAM hatAM. ardhA pahADa caDyA pachI to pahADamAMthI hAthe ja barapha laI zakAya tema jANe (baraphanA pahADa) himagirinA sAkSAta najIkathI darzana thatAM hatAM. thoDuM cAlIe... vaLI vacamAM virAmasthAnomAM rokAIe. jarUrI sAmAna sAthe mANasono kAphalo paNa hato. gADI ane vadhArAno sAmAna nIcenA gAme mUkI dIdhAM hatAM. zrI kedAranAtha pahoMcyAM tyAre sAMja DhaLavA AvI hatI. ThaMDI to dhrujAve tevI hatI. ghaNAM to sAMje darzana karI pAchAM pharI vaccenA virAmasthAnamAM jatAM rahetAM. ame to traNa divasa rahevAnAM hatAM. ahIM nAnI nAnI cokhkhI brAhmaNo saMcAlita vIzIo hatI. garama paroThA ane AlunuM zAka maLatAM. ame evI eka vIzImAM jamyAM. pU. dIdIne kAraNe utArAnA be oraDA amane maLyA hatA. garamI mATe sagaDI-nAnI bhaThThI jevuM paNa hatuM. rAtre sagaDI pAse besIne satsaMga karyo. vaLI garama pANInI kothaLIo bharI pathArImAM paDyA. - A jIvane be maNanI taLAI maLe, be oDhavAnAM gAdalAM maLe. garama kapaDAM hoya paNa nidrAdevI lADakAM; jaldI mAne nahi. saunI prathama nidrA pUrI thAya tyAre thoDI navarAza laI nidrA Ave. vaLI A kSetromAM to cAra vAgyA pachI tarata ja savAra zarU thAya.eTale sAruM lAge paNa ThaMDIne kAraNe pathArI choDavI na game. ame kaMI hila-sTezana samajIne gayAM na hatAM. eTale samayasara dhyAna vigere krama zarU thAya. lagabhaga trIje divase sAro taDako hato. kapaDAM jarUrI ja lAvyAM hatAM. eTale mane ema ke eka caNiyo dhoI lauM. pANI to gajabanuM ThaMDuM. pANImAM kapaDAM boLIne pachI tAravavA mATe hAtha kAma na kare. te evA TharI gayA ke AMgaLAM to vAdaLI thaI gayAM. mAMDa mAMDa kapaDAM tAravIne taDake nAkhI, svayaM taDake ja besI rahI. AMgaLAMmAM kaMI kauvata AvyuM tyAre bIjuM kAma thaI zakayuM. topaNa ekaMdare traNa divasa amAre mATe ArAdhanAnA hatA. eTale AnaMda Avyo. vibhAga-8 204 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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jainonAM parvatIya tIrthasthAnothI A tIrtho UMcAIe che. tethI yAtrAmAM mAnIe to ThaMDI vigere kaSTa kharuM. sagavaDa ochI chatAM paNa dara varSe hajAro AbAla-vRddha yAtriko pagapALAM mastIthI yAtrA karatAM hoya che. bhAratanI adhyAtmabhUmimAMthI AvuM baLa maLatuM hoya che. jemAM sagavaDa gauNa hoya che. yadyapi have to ghaNI sagavaDo maLatI jAya che. to paNa vizeSatA tIrthadarzananI hoya che. vRddho "jaya bhoLAnAtha'nA dhvani sAthe yuvAnonI jema pahADa caDhatA dekhAtA. 1967mAM pU. dIdIno samAgama thayA pachI tIrthayAtrAo sivAya 1970 thI 1980 sudhI lagabhaga pU. dIdI Abu hoya tyAre varSamAM betraNa mAsa temanA samAgamano lAbha maLato. kyAreka sAthe rahevAnuM hoya, kyAreka juduM makAna levAnuM hoya. jyAM lagabhaga ekAMta ane mauna sAdhanA thAya mATe dareke potAno nivAsa alaga levAno hoya. varSamAM eka vAra AbumAM zibira thatI, tyAre dhyAna-maunanI vizeSatA rahetI. tyAre AtmadaSTine poSaNa maLe te rIte pravacano thatAM. teonI sAthenI pAMca satsaMgayAtrAnI pustikA lakhAI hatI te "paMcadhArA' sAdhanA samayanA anubhavo : pU. dIdI sAdhakonI sAdhanA pratye sadAya sajAga rahetAM. zibiromAM vizeSa mauna-dhyAnanA prayoga thatA. temanuM sAnnidhya AMtarika baLapreraka banatuM. eka vAra dhyAna zibiramAM bahenonI ane bhAIonI hAra vacce thoDI jagAe beThaka hatI. sabhA pUrNa thaI pachI eka bhAI mArI pAse AvyA. temaNe kahyuM ke tame to ghaNuM prApta karI lIdhuM che. huM kaMI samajI nahi punaH kahe : tamArI bAjumAM mArI beThaka hatI mane spaMdano maLatA hatA. meM kaMI javAba na Apyo. pU. dIdIne meM A vAta kahI. teo kahe "cittanI sthiratA ane zuddhithI koI vAra spaMdana pragaTa thAya. tamAre tene mAhAnya ApavuM nahi ane vAta pragaTa na karavI. have dhyAnamAM zAla oDhIne besavuM. jo vAta vahetI thAya to tamArI zakti tyAM ja aTakI jaze." joke anyonya AvI vAto karavAnI manA hatI tevuM zista paLAtuM. eka vAra ame beThAM hatAM, meM kahyuM : dIdI, koI ghaMTano suMdara raNakAra guMje che. ATalAmAM maMdira to nathI ? mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-8 25

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tere kAno meM ye raNakAra bajatA hai, zAMti se zravaNa karanA !'' eka vAra huM temane pustaka vAMcI saMbhaLAvatI hatI. mArI AMkho punaH punaH tejathI bharAI jAya. meM teone kahyuM ke mArI AMkhamAM kaMI thayuM che. teja chUTyA kare che. "tame AMkho baMdha karI zAMtithI joyA karo, teno koI vikalpa nA karazo. dhyAnamArgamAM AMtarika zuddhi sAthe AvA anubhava thAya te joyA karavA. tene mAhAbhya na ApavuM ke ghaTasphoTa na karavo. tema karavAthI zakti vIkharAI jaze." Aja sudhI A vAto amArA mitromAM koI jANatuM nathI. ahIM prasaMgopAtta rajU karI che. koI vAra nirAmaya aMtaranA bhAvonuM tAdazya citra UpasatuM. tyAre AnaMda Avato, prasannatA rahetI. chatAM temano bodha hato ke te to mananI sapATI uparanuM che. AgaLa vadho... AtmikabaLa vRddhi pAmaze. vaLI mananA taraMgonI caDha-utara thatI. koI vAra baLa maMda paDatuM tyAre kaSAyabhAva, zArIrika vikAro UThatA. paraMtu pelA saMskAranuM baLa pakaDI letAM te badhuM zamI jatuM. pU. dIdInA samAgamano bArathI tera jeTalAM varSo lAbha maLyo. tene mATe RNI chuM. Aje paNa temanA pratye ahobhAva che. vAstavamAM jenuM sAnnidhya maLyuM te samaye mArI bhUmikA pramANe tyAre je pUrti thatI teno mane lAbha thayo che. vaLI koI gUDhatA mane AgaLa mokalI de che. eka vAra pU. dIdI traNa divasa mATe bahAragAma javAnAM hatAM. mane kahe tame zivakuTimAM rahejo, ArAdhanA karajo. teo vidAya thayAM, mAre ekalAM rahevAnuM hatuM. kyAreka bhUtapretanI vAto thatI. chatAM temanA AdezamAM baLa hatuM, prAraMbhamAM thoDo Dara rahyo. paNa pachI nizcita thaIne rahI. mAre koI lokasaMprarka karavAno na hoto. meM traNa divasa mAro ArAdhanAno krama goThavyo. savAre 5 vAgyAthI rAtre dasa sudhI zuM zuM karavuM. be vAra pharavA javuM. sAMje koI ekAMta sthaLe besavuM. ciMtana karavuM, trIje divase manamAM bhAva AvyA, kaMIka lakhIne dIdIne ApuM. ane meM mAro traNa divasano pUro krama ane aMtara bhAva kAgaLa para cItaryA. meM pAMca vAgyAthI rAta sudhI zuM zuM karyuM ? badhuM sAruM ja lakhyuM hatuM. vibhAga-8 206 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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traNa divasa pachI dIdI AvyAM. sAMje meM pelo lAMbo kAgaLa Apyo. temaNe tenA para najara pheravI, kAgaLa bAju para mUkyo. huM temanA sAmuM joI rahI hatI. kahe "badhuM bahAranuM che; aMtaramAM zuM zuddhi thaI ! AtmAne jANyo ! samajAyo ? traNa divasanuM ekAMta aMtarmukha thavA mATe hatuM. tame traNa divasa nirbhayapaNe, prasannatAthI gALyA te to lAbha che. paraMtu hajI aMtaranA UMDANamAM UtaravAnI jarUra che. prayAsa karajo. tame paMDitajI pAse zikSaNa pAmelA cho, eTale kaThaNa nahi paDe. thoDA prayAsanI jarUra che. je tamAre joIe che te maLI raheze.' pU. dIdInuM sAnnidhya paNa choDavAnuM thayuM ? pU. dIdInI nizrAmAM sAdhanAno krama jaLavAto hato. zrI kalyANabhAI vigereno sAtha maLato hato. paraMtu lagabhaga 1978/79 sAlamAM kaTokaTI jAhera thatAM teone phuraNA thaI ke zrIkRSNane samayocita raNamedAnamAM UtaravuM paDyuM hatuM ne ! to dezanI AvI avadazAmAM mAre kaMI pradAna karavuM joIe. yadyapi teo zrI vinobAjI tathA sarvodayanA mukhya kAryakaronA saMparkamAM hatA. eka Apaddharma tarIke temaNe kaTokaTInI paddhati sAme dezanA hitanI keTalIka pravRtti hAtha dharI. tenI sAthe temane anusaratA, samarpita thayelA cAhakoe temanI sAthe rahevAnuM nakkI karyuM. AthI A prazna mArI samakSa Avyo. mArAmAM vItarAgamArgano saMskAra hato, vaLI huM svayaM sAmAjika kAryane sameTI adhyAtmajIvana IcchatI hatI. tethI teonI daSTie e Apadharma hoya to paNa mane temAM rAjakAraNa jevuM lAgatuM. bhUgarbha pravRttimAM bhAga levo vigere mane rucyuM nahi. vaLI meM evuM samarpaNa karyuM na hatuM. AthI thoDA divasa vicAra karI meM pU. dIdIne eka patra lakhI, A kSetre mArI nabaLAI, ane adhyAtmanI ruci, jaNAvI mukti mAMgI. Ama meM teo pratye aMtaramAM Adara rAkhI, kSamA yAcI lagabhaga 1979mAM kSetrIya nivRtti lIdhI. AMtarika sabhAvanA sAthe hatI. tyAra pachI kvacit jo darzanano lAbha maLe to jatI. te sivAya temanA pratyethI maLelA lAbha ane mArgadarzana mATe Aje paNa ahobhAva che. temanuM mArA pratye vAtsalya vahetuM rahyuM che. mArI maMgalayAtrA 207 vibhAga-8 *

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te samaye mArI bhUmikA pramANe mane temanA samAgamamAM aMtaraMga jIvanamAM zAMtino, jAgRtino, nirbhayatA jevA guNavikAsano lAbha maLyo te mATe RNI chuM. teo paNa mitro maLe tyAre mArI saMbhALa pUche che. teono saMparka chUTyA pachI te kSetre zrI kalyANabhAI vigere satsaMgI mitrono saMparka paNa ati alpa thaI gayo. mitro ! jJAnIo kahe che ke je kaMI thAya che te ThIka mAnavuM, svIkAravuM. mArA mATe lagabhaga AvuM banyuM che. AgaLanA vikAsa mATe mane koI gUDha rahasya dhakko mArI AgaLa dhapAve che. pU. dIdIno saMparka mUkyA pachI A jIvane kaMIka UNapa to lAgI, ke have AgaLa kono sAtha laI A gUDha mArganuM joDANa karavuM ? pachI zuM banyuM te have joIzuM. pU. dIdInI hitazikSA : "pratikULa jevA viSaya prasaMge prasanna rahevAnI mUDIne AtmasAt karavAnuM sAhasa virala jIvo karI zake kharA. temane saMsAranA ThaMdrano vAstavika khyAla hoya che. dhAryuM kaMI paNa thAya ke na thAya, aNadhAryuM ghaNuM banI jAya che. Avo saMsAra che, teno bodha prApta thayo hoya to viSamatAo pacAvI zakAya che. janma sAthe nizcita thayelA prArabdhane pheravavAnuM nathI. pratikriyA karavAnI nathI. kevaLa sAkSI banavuM te paramajJAnIono mArga che. te mArge cAlavAnuM che." eka prasaMganuM smaraNa jenuM virala vyaktitva hatuM te pU. gaMgezvarAnaMdajIno AbUmAM nivAsa hato. traNa varSanI vaye cakSunuM teja harAI gayuM. pU. paMDitajInI jema teo banArasa abhyAsa karavA gayA. vedAMtanA prakAMDa paMDita tarIke temanI pratibhA hatI. pUrA cha phUTanI kAyA, 95 jevA varSe paNa nakhI taLAvano ekAda phero kare. prasannamudrA, vAtsalyapUrNa madhura vANI. jayAre jAva tyAre zAMta citte aMtaramAM sthira thaIne beThelA jovA maLe, tyAre temanAmAM yogAtvanA darzana thAya. koIvAra pU.dIdI temanI pAse temanI sukhAkArInI pRcchA mATe mokale. temanI sAme jaIne aMtaramAM AdarabhAva saheje Ave. huM sunaMdA chuM, vaMdana karuM chuM, vimalAjIe Apane vaMdana kahyA che, sukhAkArI pUchI che. tarataja sasmita javAba Ape. vimalAjI ko namaskAra kahanA, meM ThIka huM, vimalAjI ThIka hai ? tu bhAgyazAlI hai, vimalAjI ke pAsa rahatI hai. Aje paNa teonI A mudrA smRtipaTa para aMkita che. vibhAga-8 208 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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T - e - dhyAtA dhyAna dhyeya guNa eke, bheda cheda karazuM have Teke. kSIranIra peThe tumazuM maLazuM, vAcakAza kahe heje haLazuM. - upAdhyAya zrI yazovijayajI jIvanayAtrA, satsaMgayAtrA, maMgaLayAtrA pharyA - have aMtimalakSya TharyA

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svAdhyAya pachInI tenA aMgarUpe anuprekSA

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Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu ka zreSTha sAdhakono samAgama 555555 Bu Bu Bu Jie 5555555555555 che. zrImad rAjacaMdranI pAvana bhUminI sparzanA * zrI rAjacaMdra viSe aMtarabhAva : zrImad rAjacaMdra vacanAmRtanuM bhAvAtmaka avataraNa-abhyAsa * kalyANamitra jyotibehana pratyeno ahobhAva * prajJA cakSu zrI moTAbhAInuM maLeluM yogadAna (khaMbhAta) ka svAdhyAya varasItapa * aMtaraMga anubhavanI AchI jhalaka * pU. dAdAzrI sujAnamala jainano samAgama * pU. zrI panAbhAI gAMdhI pAse dravyAnuyogano abhyAsa * IDaramAM zreSTha sAdhaka zrI gokuLabhAIno samAgama * ekAMtavAsI sAdhaka zrI yogezabhAInI sAthe dharmavArtA * IDaranI anokhI bheTa (harSAbahena dIkSita thayA) * AdaraNiya pU. zrI AtmAnaMdajInI nizrAmAM sva-para zreyarUpa sAdhanA kaSAyanI upazAMtalA, mAnImola abhilASa, 2. " bhalekhe aMtara dayA, te kahIe jizAsa. te jijJAsu jIvana thAya sadgurU bodha to pAme samakitane varte aMte zodhe che - zrI AtmasiddhizAstra

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vardhamAna svAmI je vardhamAna svAmI gRhavAsamAM chatAM abhogI jevA | hatA, avyavasAyI jevA hatA, niHspRha hatA, ane sahajabhAve muni jevA hatA, AtmAkAra pariNAmI hatA, te vardhamAna svAmI paNa sarva vyavasAyamAM asArapaNuM jANIne nIrasa gaNIne dUra pravaryA; te vyavasAya, bIjA jIve karI kayA prakAranI samAdhi rAkhavI vicArI che, te vicAravA yogya che. te vicArIne pharI pharI te caryA kAryuM kAryo pravartana pravartane smRtimAM lAvI vyavasAyanA prasaMgamAM vartatI evI rUci vilaya karavA yogya che. ema na karavAmAM Ave to ghaNuM karIne lAge che ke haju A jIvanI yathAyogya jijJAsA mumukSupadane viSe thaI nathI, athavA A jIva lokasaMjJAe mAtra kalyANa thAya evI bhAvanA karavA te Icche che. paNa kalyANa karavAnI tenI jijJAsA ghaTatI nathI, kAraNa ke beya jIvanA sarakhA pariNAma hoya ane eka baMdhAya, bIjAne abaMdhatA thAya ema trikALamAM banavA yogya nathI. - zrImad rAjacaMdrajI

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| zrImad rAjacaMdranI pAvana bhUminI sparzanA sAmAjika kAryathI nivRtta thavAnI bhAvanA sAthe, pU. dIdInA samAgamamAM hatI. paraMtu tyAM sakAraNa mukta thaI. mAro abhigama dhyAna, mauna, zAstravAMcananI mukhyatAvALo hato. amArA satsaMgI mitro, vasubahena tathA ramaNabhAI, jyotibahena IDara rahetA hatA. pU. bApujI zrImad rAjacaMdranI zraddhAmAM hatA. ane pU. dIdI pAse AvatA keTalAka sAdhako paNa e matamAM hatA. tethI te saunI sAthe kyAreka IDara, vaDavA jevA sthaLe zrImad rAjacaMdra AzramamAM javAnuM thatuM hatuM. vAcakane thaze tamArA kuTuMbanI paraMparAmAM to dharmanI praNAlI hatI. e vAta sAcI paNa prathama ja jaNAvyuM tema teonA gayA pachI e badhA saMyogo ja palaTAI gayA. amadAvAda AvI, ghara-daherAsara parata padharAvI dIdhuM. bhagavAna ja gharamAMthI vidAya karyA, AthI sAdhu-saMtono saMparka paNa chUTI gayo. ane te paddhatino saMparka paNa chUTI gayo. vaLI huM sAmAjika sevA karatI, tyAre jaina samAjamAM javalle ja evAM kSetromAM koI baheno joDAtI. Ama ghaNI rIte je paraMparAgata saMyogo hatA tenAthI huM dUra hatI. temAM mane A satsaMgI mitro sAthe khUba AtmIyatA thaI. ane meM IDara, vaDavA kSetre mArI nivRttapradhAna sAdhanAne vega Apyo. vaLI 1975thI lagabhaga pU. dIdI Abu na hoya tyAre IDaramAM nivRtti ane mauna mATe jatI hatI, tethI te sthaLa mane paricita hatuM. te divasomAM nivAse hatI. manamAM sAdhanAmArge vikAsanI jhaMkhanA hatI. thoDo ajaMpo hato. eka vAra savAre lagabhaga cAra vAge UThI, rojanI sAmAyika sAdhanAnI jagAe Asana para beThI. mArI AMkho baMdha hatI, tyAM mane ekAeka oraDAmAM prathama kaMIka prakAza dekhAyo. pachI eka tejasvI hastamAM bhagavAnanA citrapaTanA spaSTapaNe darzana thayA, ane bhaNakAra thayo ke A tAro AdhAra che. bhakti karo, AgaLano mArga maLI raheze. A camatkAra nathI, sahaja saMketa che. saMbhava che ke zAsanadevInI sahAya hoya. je citrapaTa mane varSo pahelAM bharatabhAIe ApyuM hatuM. thoDI vAra prasanna citte jotI rahI, pachI te citrapaTa adazya thayuM paNa mArA mana para barAbara aMkita thayuM hatuM. muMbaIthI amadAvAda sthaLAMtaramAM te citrapaTa gumAI gayuM hatuM. AthI punaH te meLavavA huM savAre bharatabhAIne mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-9 211

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tyAM gaI. meM kahyuM : "tame ghaNAM varSo pahelAM bhagavAnanuM citrapaTa ApyuM hatuM. te have mArI pAse nathI, ane bIjuM Apo." temaNe kahyuM : ""hAla mArI pAse nahi hoya." meM kahyuM : ""upara cAlo tame. tamArA kabATamAM jyAM AvI vastuo rAkho cho tyAM haze." ame upara gayA. kabATa kholyuM. temAMthI e citrapaTa maLyuM. meM mastake lagADI AnaMdathI grahaNa karyuM. jANe sAkSAta AdhAra maLyo tema nizcita thaI. ghare lAvI tenuM yogya jagyAe sthApana karyuM, jenAM darzana Aja sudhI thAya che. eTale ema lAge che ke graMtha, guru ke bhagavAna koIne paNa sevyA hoya, ghUMTyA hoya teno yoga maLI rahe che. - vartamAnakALe bhAratanI bhUmi para anekavidha dharmamatI pravarte che. jIva potAnI buddhi vaDe javalle ja satudharmane pAme che, athavA teno nirNaya karI zake che, AthI moTAbhAge paraMparAe saMpradAyano jevo yoga hoya te matanA gurujanonI praNAlImAM jIvo dharma kare che. temAM virala jIvo sadharmane pAmI satu puruSArtha karI zake che. koI vAra saMpradAyamAM jJAnIjanono yoga thatAM jIvane sAdhanAnuM baLa maLI rahe che. saMsAra tyajIne nIkaLelA tyAgIjanone paNa yathAyogya jJAnI gurujanonI nizrA na maLe to AtmavikAsa aTake che. vaLI je jIvo adhyAtmamAM UMDA gayA tevA AnaMdaghanajI jevA yogIo samudAyanI praNAlImAM TakI na zakyA. ane ekAMta vana-upavanamAM gupta thaI gayA. paNa te to jayAre jIva svabhAvAlaMbanamAM TakI zake tevA ucca koTinA sAdhakonI dazA che. te sivAya gurugame mArge caDhAya che. vikalpa viSayottIrNa svabhAvalaMbana sadA jJAnasya paripAko yaH sa zarmA parikirtataH - zrI jJAnasAra jemanA vikalpo zamyA che teo to svabhAvanuM ja AlaMbana le che. AthI temanuM jJAna paripakva thAya che. te jJAnanuM phaLa samatA che. eTale svabhAvamAM samAI javuM. paraMtu tevI dazA na thAya tyAM sudhI yogIjanonuM avalaMbana jarUrI che. vibhAga 212 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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IDara-zrImad rAjacaMdra vihArabhavana (ghaMTiyo pahADa) : kauTumbika saMbaMdhathI paricita zrI ramaNabhAI tathA vasubahena sAthe IDara javAnuM thatuM. muMbaI choDyA pachI amadAvAda sthira thaI. eTale teono sAtha maLato. eka vAra lagabhaga 1954mAM IDara eTale taddana kudaratI vAtAvaraNamAM be-traNa patarAMnA chAparAvALAM makAnono Azrama. lagabhaga 350 jeTalAM pagathiyAM caDhI TekarI upara rahevAnuM. tyAre lAiTa, paMkhA, pANInI vyavasthA A TekarI para na hatI. nIce jaI snAnAdi karavAnAM. koI vAra mANaso kAvaDathI pANI upara lAvatA. koI vAra sApa, rIMcha, dIpaDA jevAM prANIo dekhAya. Aje paNa te jIvo dekhAya che. eTale khUba kALajIpUrvaka rahevuM paDe. temanA kuTuMbamAM badhAne ruci eTale unALAnA vekezanamAM bALako sAthe dasa-paMdara divasa tyAM jatAM. jo tamAre hAla tenI upamA ApavI hoya to ovanamAM baporanA 12 thI rAtanA ATha sudhI rahetAM. rAtanA ATha-nava vAge patharA TharatA. divase cAre bAju sUkA DuMgarA tape. chatAM sau AnaMdathI rahetA. kAraNa ke vadhu sagavaDanI Teva te samaye ochI hatI ne ? IDaranI A TekarI zrImad rAjacaMdranA caraNasparzathI pAvana thayelI che. teo eka zilA para sAta kalAka ArAdhanA karatA. munione upadeza ApatA. temanA dehavilaya pachI temanA anuyAyI bhakta zrI bhogIbhAIe I.sa. 1930mAM e TekarI para nivRtta jIvana gALavA thoDI sagavaDa karI hatI. zrImadjInI pavitrabhAvanAnAM spaMdanono tyAM lAbha maLato. Aje to khUba suvidhA-sagavaDavALA nivAsanI racanA karavAmAM AvI che. tIrthabhUmi tarIke Aje paNa sAdhako tyAM sAdhanA kare che. nAnuM derAsara, upAsanA. svAdhyAyakhaMDa-vAstavamAM pUrI TekarI ja upAsanA mATe pavitra che. tyArapachI sAmAjika kSetre sevAkArya lIdhuM. eTale javAnuM ochuM thayuM. te pAchuM 197pathI lagabhaga cAlu thayuM. 1978mAM cAturmAsamAM doDha-be mAsa saLaMga rahevAnuM banyuM tyAre jayotibahena tyAM ghaNuMkharuM hoya eTale temano satsaMga-sahakAra maLI raheto. zrImad rAjacaMdra viSe aMtarabhAva : zrImad rAjacaMdra viSe temanA prabhutva viSe jANavA temanuM gadyapadya sAhitya pUratuM che. chatAM ahIM prasaMgopAtta jaNAvavuM che. teo saurASTranA morabI sTeTanA vavANiyA gAmamAM hIrAnI khANamAMthI hIro jhagamage tema teono janma lagabhaga 130 varSa pahelAM thayo hato. pUrvajanmanI jJAnasaMpatti mArI maMgalayAtrA 213 vibhAga-9

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sAthe lAvanAra janmathI jJAnavRddha hoya che. tevuM temanI bAbatamAM banyuM hatuM. zALAnA abhyAsanI temane jarUra na hatI. vyavahAra purato karyo. svayaM pote ja bAra varSanI uMmare Azcaryajanaka chatAM dharmanI vigatothI bharapUra lekhana karatA. soLa varSanI uMmare mokSamALA lakhAI. pragalkatA vizeSa pragaTa thaI hatI. vyApAramAM joDAyA tyAre "sAcA zeTha" tarIke bajAramAM oLakhAtA. - savizeSa vyApAramAM beThA, vairAgI jevI temanI carcA hatI. mAtA sthAnakavAsI saMskAravALAM, pitA vaiSNavadharmI. paraMtu zrI rAyacaMda to gacchamatathI para. jo kahevuM hoya to ema kahevAya ke AtmAmatanA hatA. Ama temanI dRSTinuM phalaka ati vizALa ane gahana hatuM. sAteka varSanI vaye temanA kAkAnAM akALa avasAna ane aMtimakriyA joI temane jAtismaraNa jJAna pragaTa thayuM hatuM. te prasaMga temanI pUrvanI ArAdhanAno aMkoDo banyo, jethI temanAmAM vairAgyanI bhAvanAo daDha thaI. vaLI teo saheje jayotiSanuM jJAna dharAvatA hatA; te uparAMta zatAvadhAnI hatA. jagatajIvone sAmAnyataH alabhya evA zatAvadhAna jevA jJAnanI temane sahaja prApti chatAM temAM laukikatA jANI kSaNamAtrano vicAra karyA vagara te vidyAo apragaTa karI. jo temaNe dhAryuM hota to A vidyAothI aDhaLaka saMpatti prApta karI zakayA hota. paraMtu aMtaramAM anAsaktayoganI zakti jhaLahaLatI hatI. sAcA sukhanuM mahAbhya AtmasAtu hatuM. tethI temane dhananI TaMkazALa paNa tuccha lAgI. prasiddhi to eka prakAranuM baMdhana ja lAgyuM. vaLI gRhasthajIvana hatuM, bhogakarma bAkI hatuM. mAtApitA-patnIputro parivAranI javAbadArI hatI. eTale muMbaImAM zramajIvana pasaMda karI, saccAIthI dhaMdho karI, jenI leNadeNa hatI te cUkavatA hatA. tema chatAM temanuM citta to satsaMga jhaMkhatuM. jarA paNa samaya maLe ke dhaMdho mUkI tarata ja satsaMgapatro lakhe. te patrono abhyAsa karIe to jaNAya ke temanI aMtaraMga dazA ane vyathA kaI hatI. jANe gRhasthajIvana paNa nirjarA mATe ja hatuM. aMtaraMganA koI bhAvo kaThina zabdomAM aMkita thayA che te saMpradAyavAdIne khaTake tevA che. paraMtu temAM temano ahaMkArarahita sahaja vibhAga-9 mArI maMgalayAtrA 214

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Azaya garbhita che. temAM temanI vyathA e che ke jIvo sAco mArga pAme. jainadarzananI temanI bhakti temanA ja zabdomAM aMkti thaI che. te keTalAka patrothI joIzuM. zrImad rAjacaMdra nAme vacanAmRtanA graMthamAM ghaNA rahasyo pragaTa thayA che. Akhare saMsAratyAganI bhAvanA sevatA hatA. tyAM teo lakhe che ke "saharAnuM raNa vacce AvyuM. paga thAkI gayA." chellAM be varSamAM teo zArIrika nabaLAInA bhoga banyA. je bImArIthI teono e manoratha A janme pUrNa na thayo. paraMtu temanA ja zrImukhe temaNe jaNAvyuM che ke "deha eka dhArIne jAzuM svadeza jo." sAmAnya rIte lAge ke A janmamAM teo kAryanI pUrNatA karI na zakyA, paraMtu AvI vibhUtionI yAtrAnuM sAtatya hoya che, je pUrNatA sudhI jaLavAya che. sva-parakalyANarUpa temanAM vacanAmRto-patro e temano akSaradeha che. jenA AdhAre ane zraddhAe pAtrajIvo sanmArge javA prayatna karI rahyA che. AthI anuyAyIvarga temane "parama kRpALu deva" kahetA. ApaNI eka praNAlI che ke jeno upadeza prApta thayo hoya te gopavavuM nahi, bhale pachI anya paricaya thatAM te paricaya chUTI jAya, paraMtu je atItamAM lAbha thayo hoya tene mATe kRtajJa rahevuM. koI RNAnubaMdha mane te te kSetramAM laI gayo. tyAM mane vacanAmRtano abhyAsa karatAM mArI bhale alpamati chatAM vItarAgamArgane upayogI ghaNo bodha maLyo. tyAre mArA aMtaramAM uttamabhAvonuM sevana thayuM. e nimittanA upakAravaza meM mArA bhAva vyakta karyA che. vizALa dRSTithI te samajAya tevuM che. zrImad rAjacaMdra vacanAmRtanuM aAkSarI bhAvAtmaka avataraNa : zAstra-adhyayanano suavasara mAre mATe koI kaMI kahe te sAMbhaLI mauna rahejo. je puruSa para tamAro prazasta rAga che tenA ISTadeva paramAtmA jina mahA yogIndra pArzvanAthAdikanuM smaraNa karajo. jema bane tema nirmohI thaI muktadazAne Icchajo vi. e ja tamane punaH punaH AzIrvAdapUrvaka mArI zikSA che.... - vIrasvAmInuM bodheluM dravya, kSetra, kALa, bhAvathI sarvasvarUpa yathAzma che te bhUlazo nahi. tenI zikSAnI koI paNa prakAre virAdhanA thaI hoya to te mATe pazcAttApa karajo. A kALanI apekSAe mana, vacana, kAyA AtmabhAve tenA khoLAmAM arpaNa karo e ja mokSano mArga che. mArI maMgalayAtrA 215 vibhAga-9

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teonA aMtaranirIkSaNanA UhApohathI bodhaprAptiH ""aMtajJanathI smaraNa karatAM evo koI kALa jaNAto nathI yA sAMbhaLato nathI ke je kALamAM je samayamAM A jIve paribhramaNa na karyuM hoya ane saMkalpa-vikalpanuM raTaNa na karyuM hoya ane e vaDe "samAdhi" na bhUlyo hoya. niraMtara e smaraNa rahyA kare che ane e mahA vairAgya Ape che. (vigere)." kSaNe kSaNe palaTAtI vRtti nathI joItI. amuka kALa sudhI zUnya sivAya kaMI nathI joItuM. te na hoya to amuka kALa sudhI saMta sivAya kaMI nathI joItuM. te na hoya to amuka kALa sudhI satsaMga sivAya kaMI nathI joItuM. te na hoya to AryAcaraNa sivAya kaMI nathI joItuM. te na hoya to jinabhaktimAM ati zuddhabhAve lInatA sivAya kaMI nathI joItuM. te na hoya to pachI mAMgavAnI icchA paNa nathI. niHzaMkatAthI nirbhayatA utpanna hoya che, ane tethI niHsaMgatA prApta hoya che. mokSamArganI prAptine rokanArAM traNa kAraNo. A lokanI alpa paNa sukhecchA, parama dainyatA (vinaya)nI ochAI ane padArthano anirNaya. A traNemAM dainyapaNuM (vinaya) baLavAna kAraNa che. jagatane AtmarUpa mAnavAmAM Ave, je thAya che te yogya ja mAnavAmAM Ave, paranA doSa jovAmAM na Ave, potAnA guNo utkRSTapaNe sahana karavAmAM Ave to ja A saMsAramAM rahevuM yogya che. bIjI rIte nahi. jina thaI jinavara je ArAdhe, te sahI jinavara hove re bhUMgI ilikAne caTakAve, te bhRgI jaga jUe re" - zrI AnaMdaghanajI nitya chUTavAno vicAra karIe chIe. ane jema te kArya tarata pate tema jApa japIe chIe. joke ema lAge che ke e vicAra ane jApa hajI tathArUpa nathI, zithila che. mATe khacita vicAra ane jApane ugrapaNe ArAdhavAno alpakALamAM yoga karavo ghaTe che, ema vatya kare che. sva-para zreyarUpa svAdhyAyano suavasara : IDara-vaDavA : lagabhaga 1980thI IDara kSetre vadhu sthiratA thavAthI zrI vacanAmRtano abhyAsa karavAmAM AMtarika UMDANa AvatuM gayuM. pUrve maLelo zrI AcAryothI, graMthono kaMIka abhyAsa, tattvapipAsA, vaLI sAmAjika kSetre vaktA tarIkeno 216 mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga9

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mahAvaro, mukhyatve to devagurukRpAMjanane kAraNe IDaramAM svAdhyAya-satsaMga karavA-karAvavAmAM nirdoSa AnaMdano anubhava thato. temAM sahaja kSayopazama vRddhi pAmyo AbumAM koI vAra IMdirAbahena sAthe rahetI, teo pU. dIdI pAse AvatAM. teo zrImad rAjacaMdrajInA bhakta hatA. teo eka vAra mane vaDavA laI gayAM. daravAjAmAM paga mUkatAM ja kaMIka paricita hoya tevo AbhAsa thayo. ame kevaLa darzanArthe gayAM hatAM paraMtu traNa divasa rahyAM. tyAM bolatI bhIMto (vacanAmRtanAM lakhANa) joIne bhAvanA rasAtI. AthI thoDA divasa pachI divALImAM mauna rAkhIne tyAM rahI. sAmAyikamAM besuM ne koI ne koI vacanAmRta ciMtanamAM sahaja Ave. jayAre vacanAmRta vAMcuM tyAre tene maLatAM vacano temAMthI maLe. AthI te graMtha pratye ane zrImadjI pratye mAro sadbhAva vRddhi pAmyo. te samaye je bhAva thayA te Aje lekhana karatAM chupAvavA zA mATe ! vaLI gAMdhIjInA Adarzane mAnya karelo, pU. paMDitajIno aham mukta bodha, pU. dIdInI zistabaddhatA, sAmAjika kSetre maLelI kuzaLatA, A sarva jIvane sahAyakartA nIvaDyuM. savizeSa to vItarAgamArganI jhaMkhanA samyakatvanI jijJAsA satpaMthe doratI hatI tevuM jaNAtuM. e mArI maMgalayAtrAne sahAyaka hatuM. zrImadjInA vacanAmRta rasALa ane marmasparzI hatAM, te to Aje paNa jaNAya che. Aje paNa kaMThamAM kyAreka guMje che. smRtimAM aMkAI gayA che. ahIM tenI prasAdIrUpe A lakhuM che. te kevaLa utAro nathI. mArA hRdayanA bhAvano nirdeza che. game te prakAre rAgadveSathI mukta thavuM ane svabhAvamAM rahevuM te dharma che. (mahAvIrano bodha che.) AtmAnuM sukha AtmAnI samazreNImAM che, aMtara saMzodhanathI te prApta thaze, bahAra zodhavAthI nahi maLe. tArA doSe tane duHkha che anyane doSa na devo. jagatane Atmavat mAnavAmAM Ave, anyanA doSa na jovA. potAnA guNane sahana karavA. kuTuMbarUpI kAjaLanI koTaDImAM rahevAthI mokSa nathI. zraddhotpatti karavI te mATe alpabhASI, alpaparicayI, alpaAraMbhI thavuM. ArtadhyAna karavAne badale dharmadhyAna karavuM. anaMtakALa dehane arthe gALyo che. eka deha AtmAne arthe gaLAze mArI maMgalayAtrA 217 vibhAga-9

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to janma sArthaka thaze. AvAM bodhayukta suvAkyo laIne vistAra karavAno thato. vacamAM mahApuruSonI rocakakathAo joDavAthI prasannatA thatI. citta te bhAvone jhIlIne zAMti anubhavatuM. zrImad rAjacaMdranAM anya kSetrono paricaya : prAraMbhamAM sAmAjika sevAnuM kSetra choDyuM na hatuM, paNa gauNa banyuM hatuM. te kSetra ghaNA prakAre jIvane jAhera prasiddhivALuM hatuM. jyAre A AzramajIvana nivRttivALuM ane gupta jevuM hatuM te paNa pAchaLathI jAhera banI javA pAmyuM. AzramamAM deza-videzathI sAdhako darzana karavA AvatA. IDara zrImadjInA anuyAyIo mATe tIrthayAtrAsthaLa manAtuM. ahIM AvatA sAdhako svAdhyAya sAMbhaLatA. eTale A jIvanI zrImadjInAM anya kSetromAM prasiddhi thavA lAgI. ene kAraNe A jIvane muMbaI, rAjakoTa, kalakattA anya kSetromAM svAdhyAya mATe AmaMtraNa AvavA lAgyAM. sva-para zreyano Azaya pakaDAyo hato. eTale AmaMtraNono svIkAra thato. pachI to muMbaI ghATakopara, rAjakoTa sthaLoe paNa pravacana ke paryuSaNa ArAdhanA mATe vAraMvAra javAnuM thatuM hatuM. prajJAcakSu zrI moTAbhAInuM maLeluM yogadAna (khaMbhAta) : - IDaranI jema satsaMgI mitro sAthe vaDavA zrImad rAjacaMdra vihArabhavanamAM javAnuM banatuM. tyAM zrImad rAjacaMdra vacanAmRta vAMcatAM ghaNuM UMDANa maLatuM. mauna ArAdhanA paNa sArI thatI.yogAnuyoga khaMbhAtamAM zrImadjInA ananya bhakata prajJAcakSu zrI bhogIlAla rahetA hatA. temane khabara maLI ke vaDavAmAM mArI sthiratA che. eTale tarata ja temanA nivAse jyAM svAdhyAya thato tyAM mane AmaMtraNa ApyuM. temanI vacanAmRta-adhyayanazailI khUba rocaka hatI. temane sau moTAbhAI kahetA. cakSu gumAvyA pachI temaNe najaramAM zrImadjInI chabIne dhAraNa karI hatI. ane vacanAmRtane kaMThe dhAraNa karyA hatAM. teo kahetA meM mArA kRpALudevane araja karI ke have huM cakSu vaDe vacanAmRta vAMcI nahi zakuM mATe te mAre kaMThe dhAraNa thAya tevI kRpA karo. ane temane lagabhaga vacanAmRta kaMThe thayA hatA. AthI eka patra sAthe bahAranA koI kathananuM joDANa na karatA patrathI patranuM joDANa karIne samajAvatA. temanI pAsethI A paddhati zIkhavA maLI. teoe paNa khUba vibhAga 218 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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sadUbhAva Apyo. ane patravyavahAra dvArA lagabhaga 200 jevA patronuM lekhana mArI pAse karAvyuM hatuM. arthAt teo vacanAmRtanuM eka vAkya lakhe tenA para mane je bhAva UThe te pramANe dara saptAhe be pUrA AkhA kAgaLathI javAba Apavo. A krama lagabhaga traNa-cAra varSa cAlyo hato. A patravyavahArathI mane khUba lAbha thayo hato. temaNe sUcavelA patra para mAre khUba ciMtana karavAnuM thatuM hatuM. jemAM ghaNAM navAM navAM rahasyo khUlatAM. AtmAne AnaMda Avato te nimitte be sAmAyika thaI jatA. pU. moTAbhAIe e patronI suMdara phAIla banAvI hatI. te vacanAmRtayukta hovAthI AdarathI sAcavatA. AthI zrImad rAjacaMdra vacanAmRtano abhyAsa ghaNI vizadatAthI thayo. Ama traNacAra varSomAM nivRttimAM sAdhanA thatI rahI. svAdhyAya varasItapa : eka vAra vaizAkha suda ekamanA zubha dine mAre vaDavAthI nIkaLavAnuM hatuM. moTAbhAI kahe trIja-akSayatRtIyA che. varasItapanAM pAraNA che. bahena, tame varasItapa zarU karo. meM saMskAra mujaba javAba Apyo : bhAI, mArAthI upavAsa thatA nathI. moTAbhAI kahe : A to svAdhyAya varasItapa vacanAmRtathI karavAno che. tamAre roja traNa pAnAM Adara ane sthiratAthI vAMcavAnAM che. barAbara eka varSe pUruM thaze. hAtha joDI pratijJA lIdhI. amadAvAda AvI akSayatRtIyAne divase zrImad rAjacaMdra vacanAmRta graMthanuM vAsakSepathI pUjana karyuM. pachI bhAvathI moTAbhAIne vaMdana karyA. sAmAyika lIdhuM. ane traNa pAnAM bhAvapUrvaka vAMcI gaI. te samaye kharekhara apUrva AnaMda thayo, te pAnA paranAM vacanAmRtomAMthI thoDuM sahaja ja kaMThastha thayuM. koI vAra bahAragAma jatI tyAre nAnI pustikA sAthe rAkhatI, tapa jaLavAtuM. eka varSe jayAre tapa pUruM thayuM tyAre mane ghaNAM vacanAmRto hoThe ane haiye vasyAM hatAM jenI saravANI Aja sudhI vahe che. mArA A anubhava pachI ghaNAMne A varasItapa sUcavuM chuM. satsaMgIo A tapa AdarapUrvaka karIne jJAnanI vRddhi kare che. jIvamAM maMgalayAtrAnI keDI A rIte kaMDArAtI jAya che. yAtrAne anurUpa vividha yoga te sadbhAgya che. mArI maMgalayAtrA 219 vibhAga-9

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88rI . prAsaMgika anubhava : eka divasa savAre vaDavAtIrtha derAsaramAM bhagavAnI pUjA karavA jatI hatI. hAthanI thALImAM eka phUla ane caMdananI vADakI hatAM. daravAje eka bhAI maLyA. mArA sAmuM joI pUchyuM, bahena pUjA karavA jAva cho ? "hA." kRpALudeve kahyuM che ke "puSpa pAMkhaDI jayAM dubhAya tyAM jinavaranI nahi AjJA" eTale huM pUjA karato nathI. "ThIka, tame zAka-phaLa khAva cho ? "hA.' prasaMge ghare toraNa bAMdho cho ? "hA." gusso Ave che ? "hA." zAkaphaLa khAvAmAM doSa che tevuM bhAna rahe to saMyama Ave. toraNa sAMsArika vyavahAra che te sadoSa che. tame gusso karo tyAre te vyaktinuM hRdayakamaLa dubhAya, te pAMkhaDIrUpa che. have jo tame prabhunI puSpapUjA karazo to A doSa haLavA banaze. sAMsArika vRttinuM poSaNa karIe ane jyAM uccabhAvanAnAM nimitta che tyAM jJAnInA vacanane tarkabaddha karIne Avazyaka karaNI na karIe to te AjJApAlana nathI paNa samajamAM bhUla che. yadyapi temAM vivekasaha vartavuM. joke have to zrImadjInA pratimAnA pratiSThA jevA prasaMge temanI ja pratimA upara puSpapUjA thAya che. aSTaprakArI jevo AkAra apanAvyo che. Ama karavAmAM bhAvanA hoya to paNa atireka ane avivekanI saMbhAvanA che. AvAM kAraNonI carcAmAM paDavuM tenA karatAM tenAthI dUra rahI, bodhagrahaNa karavo hitAvaha lAgyo che. sau potAnI samaja pramANe viziSTa doravaNI vagara anusaratA hoya che evuM jaNAtuM. aMtaraMga anubhavanI AchI jhalaka : IDara jevA pavitra sthAnamAM ekAMta khUba maLatuM. aMtaramAM pelI samyakatvanI jijJAsA, anya kSetrane sAMbhaLelA AtmasAkSAtkAra, AtmAnubhUti, jevA zabdo, te aMgenAM pravacano ane pU. rajanIza tathA pU. dIdInA sAMnidhyamAM karelI dhyAna zibirothI te taraphanuM valaNa thayuM hatuM. paraMtu tyAre sAMsArika ane sAmAjika pravRttimAM tenA abhyAsanuM sAtatya jaLavAtuM nahi. AthI temAM kaMI UMDANa AvyuM na hatuM. paraMtu IDaramAM nivRttino samaya vadhu maLato. vAtAvaraNa zAMta. pavitratAnA paramANu paNa kharA. mane dhyAnamAM (vAstavamAM koI ciMtana ke zubhabhAva hato) besavAno mahAvaro hato ethI sau jyAre jaMpI jatA vibhAga-9 rara0 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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tyAre khullI jagAmAM rAtre moDA dhyAnamAM besatI. tyAre zarIra-saMpannatAne kAraNe be kalAka ke vadhu zArIrika sthiratA paNa rahetI. zarIranI sthiratA ane zAtA, bahAramAM zAMta pavitra vAtAvaraNa, AthI ciMtana karatA karatA evI zAMti anubhavAtI ke citta prasanna thaI jatuM. tyAre huM tene AMzika AtmAnubhUti mAnatI. vaLI zAstrabodha maLelo temAM zama, saMvega, nirveda, anukaMpA ane AsthA jevAM lakSaNo jANavAmAM AvyAM hatAM. ciMtanamAM tene jIvana sAthe mUlavatAM zraddhA thatI ke A lakSaNo keTaleka aMze dhAraNa thayAM che, temAM pelI zAMti ane prasannatAthI evo bhAsa thato ke A AtmAnubhUti che, eTale A samyagdarzana che. joke A vAta pragaTa karatI nahi (te samaya mATe te barAbara thayuM.) paraMtu keTalAka mitrone jJAnano kSayopazama, vaktatva, sAmAnya rIte svastha, saraLa ane samatAyukta jIvana, saMsAra pratyenI anAsakti (jenuM) vigere kAraNothI khUba Adara thato, A kAraNo temane mATe jJAnI mAnavI jevAM hatAM, AthI teo praNAma karavA jevo bhAva vyakta karatA. mane temAM sauno premabhAva jaNAto. pU. paMDitajInI zIkha ke koI mAna-hoddo na levAM. AthI A kSetre saunI cAhanA chatAM gurupadano Aja sudhI leza paNa bhAva UThyo nathI. pU. dIdInI kaDaka sUcanA ke pUrNatA pAmo nahi tyAM sudhI koI aMtarabAhya ceSTA vyakta karavI nahi. pU. AcArya bhagavaMtonI praNAlI ke gRhastha jJAna jevI bAbatamAM guNasthAnakanI maryAdAmAM rahevuM. gurupada jevI khoTI kalpanA karIne samyakta sanmukha thavAne badale mithyAtvanuM poSaNa na karavuM. yadyapi mithyAtvayukta sAdhu karatA. jJAnI samakitI zrAvaka AdaraNIya che tema zAstrakathana che. paraMtu e sikko potAnI meLe lagAvI na devo. zAstranA anumAnathI lokomAM prasiddhi meLavI, mAnano bhAva poSI mokSathI dUra nIkaLI javAnuM thaze. AvA maLelA ghaNA bodhane kAraNe lAbha thayo. pachI jema jema jinAjJAyukta avataraNono abhyAsa karyo, koI anubhavInA prasaMgamAM AvI tyAre samajAyuM ke te te dazAo sapATI paranI hatI. temAM uttama zubhabhAvomAM zAMtinuM vadana thatuM te satya hovA chatAM tene AtmAnubhUti mAnI na levI. hA paNa te prayogano vAraMvAra abhyAsa karavo, kALalabdhi paripakva thatAM kArya sArthaka thaze. zuddhanA pakSano zubhabhAva te bhUmikAne yogya che. A anubhavamAM koI kalpanA na hatI. tyAra pachI A abhyAsa cAlu che. manamAM te zuM che teno vikalpa mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-9 221

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UThato nathI. vItarAga sarvajJa kathita tattvonI praNAlIno saMskAra zraddhAne TakAvI rAkhato, punaH punaH e zAMti-prasannatAno anubhava thato raheto. pU. AcArya bhagavaMto pAse, yogezabhAI jevA sAdhaka pAse, zrI gokuLabhAI jevA zAstranA marmI ane upAsaka pAse, A bAbatamAM gahana carcAvicAraNA thatI, tema tema sanmArganI zraddhA paripakva thatI. AgaLanovikAsa samajaNamAM Avato. kyAreka bhAva UThatA ke pU. AcArya bhagavaMtoe hAtha pakaDyo che tema paramAtmAe paNa hAtha pakaDyo che. vyavahAra samyaktvathI AgaLa vadhI nizcaya samyaktva A janmamAM ja prApta karavAnuM che, te thaze. pU. A. kalApUrNabhagavaMta kahetA : ""jenuM zaraNa tamane ahIM sudhI lAvyuM che te ja tamane pUrNa sudhI laI jaze." zrImad rAjacaMdra svayaM nigraMtha mArganI zraddhAmAM hatA. temanA patro tenI sAkSI pUre che. paraMtu pAchaLathI kathaMcita temanA pratyenA ahobhAvathI A sthAnomAM devagurunuM sthAna gauNa thatuM hoya tevuM jaNAtuM. A mArI mAnyatA che te koI rUDhine kAraNe nathI paNa nigraMtha mArganI paripATI anusAra che tema samajuM chuM. chatAM zrImadjI mATe temanA vairAgyanI dazA pratye mane Aje paNa ahobhAva che. nivAse samUhamAM savAre vacanAmRtano svAdhyAya saddabhAvathI thAya che. pU. dAdA sujAnamala jainano samAgama : lagabhaga 1983/84mAM mane pU. dAdAno samAgama maLyo. agAu jaNAvyuM tema kauTumbika rIte saMbaMdhI zrI ramaNabhAI, vasubahena have satsaMgI mitro hatAM. vasubahenano saMskAra digaMbara AmnAyano vizeSa hato. zrImad rAjacaMdranA bhakto to kharA ja. vasubahena sonagaDha jatA. tyAM temane zrI sujAnamala jaina (dAdAno) paricaya thayo hato. pU. dAdAnuM mULa vatana phalodI, teo pU. kAnajIsvAmInA paricayamAM AvyA ane sAITha varSanI vaye gRha-vyApAra tyajI sonagaDha sthAyI thayA. gRhasthapaNAmAM paNa prakhara vyaktitva hatuM. vaLI vIseka varSa pU. kAnajIsvAmInA paricayamAM rahyA. AtmAnA svAtaMtryanI, AtmA zuddha paramapariNAmika bhAve yukta che. nizcayathI AtmA ja paramAtmA che, A ja samaye te pUrNa cho, evI svabhAva-AzrayI zraddhA vagara samyagdarzana thAya nahi vigere bodha teo ApatA. AvI rIte temanI prarUpaNA hatI. aneka vAra zrI samayasArajInuM zravaNa karI nizcayapakSamAM teo khUba daDhatA mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-9 222

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dharAvatA. tapAdi anuSThAno gauNa mAnatA. yadyapi temanuM jIvana saMyamI ane daDha manobaLavALuM hatuM. teo temanAM putra-putrI sAthe rahetA. mAsika rU. 60nI temanI Avaka hatI. te sivAya temaNe koI jarUriyAta rAkhI na hatI. savAre phakta dUdha levuM pachI taddana sAduM bhojana letA. kapaDAM hAthe dhotA. traNacAra joDa kapaDAM rAkhatA. 99 varSe avasAna pAmyA. te chellI cha-ATha mAsanI bImArI sivAya TekA vagara kalAko sudhI TaTTAra besI ciMtana, dhyAna, svAdhyAya karatA. avAja to mAIka vaoNisa hato. sadA hasatA rahetA. mane tAttvika zAstro vAMcavAnI ruci hatI. zvetAMbara AmnAyamAM tevAM zAstro kvacit maLatAM. paraMtu meM zrI samayasArajI viSe sAMbhaLeluM tethI ramaNabhAI sAthe pU. dAdA pAse gaI, teo samayasArano svAdhyAya ApatA. prAraMbhamAM apaMga mAnava maMDaLa jatI tyAre teo te bAju rahetA eTale avakAze temanI pAse svAdhyAya karavA jatI. vaLI teo amArA nivAsanI najIka rahevA AvyA, tyAre huM kobAthI nivRtta thayelI hatI. eTale roja niyamita svAdhyAyano lAbha letI. pU. dAdA pAse kyAreka zrImad rAjacaMdra vacanAmRta, zrI samayasAra, zrI pravacanasAra graMthono sAnaMda svAdhyAya thato. zrImadjI gRhasthadazAmAM hatA paNa temanAM jJAnavairAgyamaya vacanAmRtothI teo mAnatA ke A vANI aMtaradazAmAMthI pragaTelI che, tethI te vacanAmRtone te graMthonA lekhana sAthe joDatA. "savizeSa teo parama pariNAmikabhAvamAM upayogane laI javAnuM samajAvatA. jene svarUpAnubhUti pratye aruci ke pramAda che te game tevA zubha anuSThAna kare te vyartha che. svarUpamAM Thare, rame te ja puraSa che, puruSArthI che. bAkI zubhAzubha baMnemAM, te mATe thatA zubhAzubha kAryo te avaLo puruSArtha che." prAraMbhamAM mane A paddhati thoDI kaThatI. pU. dAdA nizcayanayanI. dravyadRSTinI mukhyatA rAkhatA. vyavahAranaya jANavo prayojanabhUta che paraMtu AdaravA yogya nathI. te mithyAtva che, ema samajAvatA. teono thoDo paricaya thayA pachI kaMI prazna pUchatI athavA kahetI ke pUjA karuM chuM. sAmAyika Adi karuM chuM te dharma che ne ? tyAre kahetA ke temAM dharma nathI, e saghaLA zubha bhAva phakta azubhathI mArI maMgalayAtrA 223 vibhAga-9

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chUTavA mATe che, paraMtu upAdeya nathI. upAdeya zuddhAtmA ja che. punaH pUchatI : tapa ke saMyama vagara Atmika vikAsa kevI rIte thAya? kevaLa zuddhAtmA chuM mAnI laIe to hajI zubha bhAvanAM ja ThekANAM nathI, to zuddhAtmA to kevI rIte samajAya ! vaLI koI vAra kahetI ke AzramamAM bhakti svAdhyAya to uttama thAya che te AtmakalyANa mATe ja che ne ? eka vAra ugra thaIne kahe (sArA mATe) : tame hajI mithyAbhAvamAM cho, A samayasAranI vAta nahi samajAya, kAlathI Avazo nahi. chatAM huM bIje divase pahoMcI jatI. vaLI thoDA divasa zAMtithI sAMbhaLatI ke ""he pariNati, tuM tArA svabhAvano Azraya le, jyAMthI AvI chuM tyAM ja samAI jA-A dharma che." huM pUchatI : zubha bhAva dharmanuM nimittakAraNa to kharuMne ? mIThAne sAkaranA vATakAnI bAjumAM mUkIe to gaLyuM thAya? are pApane pApa badhA kahe paraMtu AtmAnubhavI puNyane paNa pApa mAne kAraNa ke te paNa saMsAranuM kAraNa che. zuddhopayoga ja mokSanuM kAraNa che." zubha bhAva mokSanuM kAraNa nathI, vItarAgabhAva mokSanuM kAraNa che, pachI te gRhastha hoya paNa vItarAgabhAva jeTale aMze che teTalo dharma che. bharatajI jevA gRhasthadazAmAM aMze vairAgI hatA teTalo dharma hato. ""dAdA ! mane bhakti, vAMcanamAM AnaMda Ave che. vaLI ghaNA tapasvIone jouM . teo paNa prasanna hoya che, sAdhujano paNa kevA sahanazIla hoya che ! te zuM dharma nathI ?' A ja tamAro mithyAtvano bhAva che. huM kahuM chuM ke tamane svAtmAnI vAto nahIM samajAya, tame Avazo nahi. Ama be-traNavAra banyuM. paNa mane manamAM evA bhAva hatA ke zuddhAtmAnuM svarUpa samajavuM to joIe ja. vaLI dAdA ugra chatAM ni:spRha hatA, vaDIla hatA eTale teo kahetA ke kAlathI Avazo nahi, tethI mane kaMI duHkha lAgatuM nahi. bIje divase hAjara thaI jatI. trIjI vAra evuM banyuM tyAre paNa gaI. dAdAnI AMkho baMdha hatI. dhyAna-ciMtanamAM hatA. huM zAMtithI beThI hatI. temaNe AMkha kholI, mane joI, gaMbhIra mukhamudrA karI kahe : "tuma merA guru ho gaI." meM be hAtha joDI jayajinendra karyA. pachI kahe : ""mane ema ke zrImaMta gharanAM tame, moTAM kAryakara eTale svamAna ghavAya, tethI Avazo vibhAga-9 rara4 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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nahi. tame kharekhara vivekI cho, sAcA jijJAsu cho." meM kahyuM : "dAdA. mAre to AtmA samajavo che je paddhatithI samajAya te grahaNa karavAnI. Apa vaDIla cho; je karo te sArA mATe." pachI to temanI mArA pratyenI vAtsalyatA vRddhi pAmI. koI vAra to mane AgaLa karIne pote zIkhatA hoya tevA bhAva paNa pragaTa kare, ke yaha tumane ThIka kahA.' Ama amAro svAdhyAya thato hato. 1989mAM AzramamAMthI mukta thaI. eka vAra temanI pAse gaI. meM vAta karI ke have huM nivAse rahevAnI chuM. tyAre kahe : "tAre gharamAM keTalI TikiTa che ?" huM samajI nahi. mane kahe : "putra, putravadhU ane tenI putrI eTale aDhI TikiTa thaI. te paNa sAcavavAnI javAbadArI nahi. tenA badale aDhIso TikiTa saMbhALavAnI zI jarUra ? (AzramamAM)" pachI pUche : "tAre gharamAM keTalA oraDA? ATha ke dasa, tene badale aThThAvIsa oraDAnI TopI zA mATe paheravI ? eTale je thayuM che te sAruM che. ApaNe have Azrama karavA nathI ane AzramanI jarUra nathI. A AtmAne saMbhALo, te najIkamAM najIka kaMI ja upAdhi rahita AnaMdathI bharapUra che, tenuM lakSya karo." pU. dAdAno lagabhaga daseka varSa alpAdhika paricaya rahyo. temano 99 varSanI vaye TUMkI bImArIthI lagabhaga 1999mAM temanA vatanamAM dehavilaya thayo. teono mArA para ghaNo upakAra che. tethI A lekhana karyuM che. pU. dAdA kaMI paNa takalIpha hoya to tarata ja mane yAda kare. chellI bImArImAM paNa mArAM sUcano grahaNa kare. chellAM darzana temanA dezamAM jaIne karI AvI hatI, tyAre te khUba bhAvavibhora thaI gayA hatA ke meLApa thaze ke kema ? kharekhara huM amerikA hatI tyAre temano dehavilaya thayo hato, eTale meLApa na thayo. pU. zrI panAbhAI gAMdhIno samAgama (1982 thI 1995) : pU. kAnajIsvAmInA vyAkhyAnanA zravaNa pachI ane pU. paMDita zrI cImanabhAInA jaina siddhAMta pravezikA'nA alpa zikSaNa pachI tattvArthabodhanI jijJAsA jAgI hatI. tene zrI pAnAcaMda paMDita pAse kaMIka poSaNa maLyuM. tyArapachI amadAvAda sthaLAMtara thatAM paristhitimAM ghaNo palaTo thayo. yadyapi satsaMga paricaya to thatA rahyA paNa te sAttvika sudhInA hatA. tAttvika rIte mane saMtoSa na hato. joke paMDitajano te te guNAtmaka paddhatie mArI maMgalayAtrA rarapa vibhAga

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ghaNI UMcAIe hatA. vaLI sAmAjika kSetre mAnavasevAnuM kArya hAtha dharyA paI. samyagadarzananI vAta ghaNI gauNa thaI. vaLI pU. vimaLAtAInA paricayathI dhyAnanuM zikSaNa maLyuM paraMtu jainadarzanamAM je rIte tattvanuM kramika nirUpaNa che tenA abhyAsa mATe vicAra karatI hatI. tyAM jANavA maLyuM ke muMbaImAM pU. panAbhAI gAMdhI A viSayanA maulika rIte abhyAsI che. 1982mAM eka vAra muMbaImAM temano paricaya thayo hato. pU. zrI panAbhAIH mULa dhrAMgadhrAnA vatanI, bALabrahmacArI, bALavayathI tattvajijJAsAnA saMskAra. AthI temaNe prathama AyaMbila tapa sAthe karoDo maMtrajApa karyA; ane pUrvagata saMskAranA aMkuro pragaTyA. temaNe zAstrAbhyAsa to alpa karelo paraMtu svayaM kSayopazama evo thayo ke zAstranAM sUkSma tattvo temane maulikapaNe samajamAM UtaryA. ethI ema samajAtuM ke AtmazaktinuM jJAnasvarUpa keTaluM baLavAna che. teo kalAko sudhI tenA ciMtanamAM rahIne jJAnAdi viSayaka khoja karatA ane ghaNuM nUtana avataraNa anubhavatA. anukrame teo muMbaI sthira thayA. tyAM sAdhu-sAdhvIjano temanI pAse abhyAsa mATe AvatA. mane eka vAra eka mitra temanI pAse laI gayA. mane temanA paricayamAM AnaMda Avato te daramyAna huM amadAvAda rahetI hatI. lagabhaga 1987mAM eka vAra khAsa samaya laI muMbaI temanA sAnnidhyamAM pahoMcI gaI. savAre ane bapore be-be kalAka teo svAdhyAya ApatA. prAraMbhamAM dravya, guNa ane paryAyano viSaya lIdho. jema savAre ane bapore be vAra bhAre jamaNa pace nahi tema prathama be divasa mAruM thayuM. eka-be mitro TakyA. bIjAne anukULa na thayuM. huM to A mATe ja AvI hatI. eTale zraddhApUrvaka TakI gaI, ane trIjA divasathI samajAvA mAMDyuM. pachI to lagabhaga daseka varSa temano samAgama avAranavAra thato. amadAvAda AvatA tyAre khAsa satsaMga mATe bolAvatA. temano vArtAlApa AtmalakSI ja hoya. mAre to mArI sAdhanAmAM A badhuM prerakabaLa hatuM. temanA svAdhyAyanI noMdhonI lagabhaga 44 phAIlo hato. chellA divasomAM mane kahe: "tame A aMge kaMI karajo." paNa te kAma jarA kaparuM hatuM. dareka pAne viSaya badalAya, viSaya paNa gUDha hoya eTale tenuM lakhANa taiyAra karavAnuM muzkela lAgyuM, eTale mulatvI rAkhatI. paraMtu temanA avasAna vibhAga mArI maMgalayAtrA

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pachI pelo avAja saMbhaLAto : "A aMge kaMI karajo'. eno vicAra karatAM ukela maLyo. daseka phAIlo lIdhI. dareka pAne viSaya bAMdhyA ane amArI satsaMgI bahenone viSayavAra utArA karavA ApyA, te rIte daseka phAIlonuM kAma thaI zakyuM. te pustakarUpe "svarUpasAdhanAnAM sopAna" pragaTa thayuM. jenuM kharca dhrAMgadhrAnA jaina zve. mU. tapAgaccha saMghe karyuM hatuM. te uparAMta temanuM anya sAhitya paNa pragaTa thatuM jAya che. temanA svAdhyAyano sAra A pramANe che. AtmA (upayoga) AtmAmAM upayogamAM) lIna thAya to paramAtmA bane. bahAra nIkaLelo bahAramAMthI aMdara arthAt bahirmukhI evo aMtaramukhI thAya ane aMtaralIna bane to arihaMta bane. mAnavamAM paheluM mAnavatAnuM bIjuM sajajanatAnuM, trIjuM sAdhu-saMta aMtarAtmAnuM ane cothuM siddha svarUpa-paramAtmAsvarUpanuM lakSaNa ane svabhAva che, A vikAsakrama che. mAnava duHkhI hoI zake, sajjana paNa duHkhI hoI zake. jayAre sAdhu-saMtane duHkha hoya paNa te duHkha temane duHkha ApI na zake. jyAre arihaMta paramAtmA ke siddha paramAtmA to na sukhI hoya ke na duHkhI hoya, teo to sadA sarvadA svabhAvadazAmAM saccidAnaMda svarUpamAM nimagna hoya. upayogano niyama : koI paNa parapadArthamAM upayoga tanmaya thAya eTale te rUpe upayoga pariName che. sajAtIya ane svarUpa-aikya arihaMtasiddhapadamAM upayogathI pariNamavuM te mokSamArganI ananya sAdhanA che. upayoga anAdikALathI lakSaNa rUpe che. ane upayogamAMthI azuddhi nIkaLI jAya eTale upayoga zuddha rahe che. te nirAvaraNa jJAna che. - paMcaparameSThinuM svarUpa e pratyeka jIvanuM sva-svarUpa che. eTale ke svaguNaparyAya che. jyAre paMcaparameSThi vyakti e sajAtIya paradravya che. paMcaparameSThino zabdArtha e ja jagatamAM satyajIvana che. virodhI padArthanA saMyogano nAza karavo athavA pudgalathI sarvathA judAM paDavuM tenuM nAma ja "arihaMta' ane pharI pAchA pugalasama (deharUpI pagalAvaraNane na dhAraNa karavA) na banavuM tenuM nAma siddha. adhyAtma: AtmabhAvamAM rahevuM te adhyAtma che. te vaDe rAga naSTa thaIne vItarAgatA Ave che. pUrNa vItarAgatA pragaTavAthI jJAna nirAvaraNa bane che, nirvikArI bane che. mArI maMgalayAtrA 227 vibhAga-9

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tIrthayAtrA karIne tuM sahajAvasthAmAM na Ave to vyartha. pratimA pUjana karIne tuM sahajAvasthAmAM na Ave to vyartha. dhyAnadhAraNA karIne tuM sahabhAvasthAmAM na Ave to vyartha. zrI panAbhAI muMbaInA nivAsane sameTI pAchaLathI potAnA vatana dhrAMgadhrA vadhu samaya gALatA chatAM joke muMbaInA temanA bhAviko temane muMbaI rokI letA. lagabhaga 1999mAM temane kensaranuM darda thayuM. teo dhrAMgadhrA AvI gayA hatA. ame temanI zAtA pUchavA gayA. mane ane dakSAne te divase temaNe be vAra bodha Apyo. evuM lAge ke jANe dardI nathI. teone vAraMvAra ahesAsa Avato ke temane mAthe sarasvatIdevI jhUmI rahyAM che. AthI teo khUba prasannatA anubhavatA. tyAra pachI thoDA divasamAM temano dehavilaya thayo. dhrAMgadhrAnA samAje temanI pAlakhI yukta aMtimavidhi sAdara pUrNa karI hatI. IDaramAM zreSTha sAdhaka zrI gokuLabhAIno samAgama : - lagabhaga 198ranA cAturmAsamAM mane IDaramAM doDhamAsI karI nivRttimAM rahevAnI bhAvanA thaI. tyAre tyAM zrI ramaNabhAI ane vasubahena hatAM vaLI jyotibahena paNa hatA. te samaye zrI gokaLabhAIno prathama paricaya ghaNo lAbhadAyI nivaDyo. temanA satsaMgano uttama lAbha maLyo. cAturmAsanA divasomAM IDaramAM nivRtti mATe sAdhako AvatA. temAM prathama vAra savizeSa karIne zrI gokuLabhAInA svAdhyAyanuM zravaNa thayuM. sAMbhaLeluM ke temaNe yuvAnImAM vIsI-paccIsI pUrI thatAM ajabano palaTo lIdho. vaDIloe lagnano prastAva mUkyo ane pUrvano koI gahana saMskAra jAgyo. lagna zAne mATe ? ane vaDIlone abhiprAya jaNAvyo ke pote brahmacArI rahevAnA che. bIjo prazna dhaMdho zA mATe? dhaMdhAthI mukta thaI potAnI svayaM AjIvikA parimita karI dharmamArge satvara prayANa karyuM. mULa saMskAre zvetAMbara saMpradAyanA che paraMtu zAstranA abhyAsa ane digaMbara AcAryonA paricayathI teo mukhyatve digaMbara AmnAyane anusare che chatAM vizALa buddhinA ane madhyastha che. vaLI zrImad rAjacaMdranI pratye temanI ananya zraddhA che. gRhasthadazAmAM paNa vairAgyanI pratibhAnAM darzana temane zrImadjImAM thatAM. mULa nAma hiMmatabhAI paraMtu gokuLabhAInA nAmathI oLakhAya che. zAstra-abhyAsamAM nipuNa che, tapasvI che. teo IDaranI guphAmAM dhyAna ArAdhanA karatA. AthI IDara koI vAra temanA sAnnidhyano lAbha maLato. 228 mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga

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teonI sAdhanA zailImAM mukhyatA e hatI ke "svabhAva Azraye dharma e sAcI sAdhanA che. bahAramAM je je kAMI kriyAnuM AlaMbana hoya te bhUmikA pramANe thatuM rahe tyAre paNa dRSTinuM jora svabhAva pratye ke te ja dharma che. mATe prathama to sva ane parano bheda jANo. svabhAva sAthe abheda ane parathI bheda jJAna e sAdhanA che. zAstra jJAnathI niveDo nathI paraMtu anubhavajJAnathI ja niveDo che. mATe koI paNa sAdhanAno dharma ane marma svabhAvanA ke svarUpanA AlaMbanathI ja thaI zake." teo kahetA : prathama bhUmikAmAM bAhya AlaMbanamAM vItarAganI mUrti, (digaMbara) nigraMtha guru ane svabhAvarUpa dharma e zraddhAnA baLe vyavahAra-dharma sAco kahevAya. e sivAya vyavahAradharma paNa khoTo che. to nizcayadharma to dUra ja mAnavo. dehathI bhinna evA AtmAnuM ciMtana karo, manana karo. teno vAraMvAra prayoga karo. jenI bhedajJAnanI prakharatA che tevA jJAnIjanonA saMparkamAM rahevAthI svarUpadaSTi keLavAze. te sivAya je kAMI karazo tenAthI svabhAvAlaMbana nahi Ave. bhUmikA anusAra darzanapUjana-sAmAyika-svAdhyAya hoya paNa te sarvenA mULamAM to vItarAga deva, nigraMtha guru ane svabhAvarUpa dharmanA daDha zraddhAna aMgeno nirNaya thavo joIe, tenA AdhAre navatattvone zraddhAna paNa sAcuM Thare che. gokuLabhAI vayamAM to nAnA che paNa jJAnavRddha che. temane zrI samayasAra - zrI niyamasAra jevA uttama graMthono UMDo abhyAsa che. temanI pAse e graMthono abhyAsa karavAno mane paNa uttamayoga thayo. tattvanI zraddhAmAM jarApaNa mAMDavALa na kare. praznonuM nirAkaraNa samatAthI ane zAstranA AdhAre ja.kare. zAstronA siddhAMtonuM temanuM avalokana daDha che. carcAvicAraNA tenA AdhAre ja karatA hoya che. teono nivAsa amadAvAdamAM che. eTale atre tathA anya sthaLomAM temanA svAdhyAya-zibiranuM Ayojana thatuM hoya che. joke teo bAhya pravRttimAM ati alpa samaya mATe jatA hoya che. nivRttisthAnamAM na gayA hoya tyAre temanA nivAse paNa teo ekAMtamAM vadhu samaya rahetA hoya che. prAye ekAsaNAnuM tapa hoya che. eka vAra huM divALImAM lagabhaga 2001mAM gaDhanA pahADa para digaMbaranA maMdiranA sthAnamAM temanI nizrAmAM rahI hatI. be vAra svAdhyAya ApatA; te sivAya ekAMtamAM mauna sAdhanA karatA. eka vAra guphAmAM te ane eka bIjA bhAI dhyAnamAM beThA hatA. pelA bhAIne pAchA AvelA mArI maMgalayAtrA rara9 vibhAga

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joIne pUchyuM, te kahe ke "guphAnI bahAra dIpaDo beTho che. gaMdhathI meM AMkho kholI. dIpaDo joI gabharAyo eTale pAcho Avyo.' samaya thaye gokaLabhAI AvyA. meM pUchayuM ke Aje dIpaDAnA darzana thayA ? kahe : te Avyo, beTho, samaya thayo ane te gayo. ame baMnee anyonya joI lIdhA. kAma pUruM thayuM. AvI nirbhayatA temane AtmasAt hatI. Aja sudhI temanI A ekAMta sAdhanA thatI rahI che. jayAre zarIramAM kAMI vyAdhi thAya tyAre teo puSTa AlaMbana dvArA upayogane joDI rAkhe ane bhedajJAnano prayoga kare. na chUTake upacAra kare. prAraMbhamAM e zarIrane kahe ke AgatAsvAgatA tane nahi maLe. tame raho ke jAva, mArA Atmapradezane koI kSati thavAnI nathI. upacAra dahalakSI na kare paNa vikalpa zamAvavA pUrato kare-AvuM temanuM svabhAvalakSI manobaLa che. saune A paddhati samajAve che. amadAvAda hoya tyAre temanA satsaMgano lAbha ghaNo preraNAdAyI rahe che. mukhyatve tattvadRSTinI pradhAnatAthI bhUmikA anusAra ArAdhanA viSe nirUpaNa kare, aMgata rIte mane emAM ghaNo lAbha thayo che. bhedajJAnanI vizeSatA samajAvatA. temAM bhedajJAnanA anubhavIno paricaya upayogI thAya mATe evo paricaya keLavavA mATe carcAvicAraNA karatA. teono sAttvika ane tAttvika paricayano lAbha Aja sudhI mArA jIvanamAM prerakabaLa che. mArI bImArImAM temaNe mane satsaMga vaDe ghaNI sahAya karI che. AtmalakSa baLavAna rahe tevI preraNA ApI che, Avo puNyayogano zakya teTalo lAbha uThAvuM chuM. mArI maMgalayAtrAnA A sau sAthIo che. ekAMtavAsI sAdhaka zrI yogezabhAInI sAthe dharmavArtA : IDaramAM jayAre mArI sthiratA hoya, tyAre DaoN. haribhAI sAthe yogezabhAI AvatA te samaye temano paricaya thayo hato. tyAre teo zrotAgaNa tarIke svAdhyAyamAM besatA. pachI to temano AtmavikAsa yuvAnImAM vRddhi pAmyo. eTale kahuM ke have huM zrotA chuM. vAstavamAM temanI sAdhanAnI pratibhAno evo prabhAva mArA para rahyo che. teo mULa pAlanapuranA garbhazrImaMtanA suputra che. vaLI temanA bhAI muMbaImAM rahetA, temanI sAthe dhaMdhAmAM joDAyA. teo kahetA ke eka vAra paMnyAsapravara zrI caMdrazekharajInuM pravacana sAMbhaLI mArI vicAradhArA palaTAI gaI. anukrame meM saMsArathI mukta thavAno mAro abhiprAya mAtAne kahyo. vibhAga-9 mArI maMgalayAtrA 23O

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temaNe mArI ghaNI cakAsaNI karI. tyArapachI mArA aMtaradhvani pramANe hunI zodhamAM nIkaLyo. teoe zrI goyaMkAjInAM sthAnomAM sAteka varSa vipazyanAnI ArAdhanA karI maunane ane sAkSIbhAvane puSTa karyA che. tyAra pachI pAlanapuranA sonagaDhamAM pU. kAnajIsvAmI pAse bodha pAmelA DaoN. zrI haribhAIno meLApa thatAM temanI ArAdhanAmAM svasvarUpabodhanuM Akalana thayuM. temAM vaLI zrImad rAjacaMdra vacanAmRta, bodhAmRta vigerenA UMDANapUrvakanA punaH punaH abhyAsathI aMtaramAM kSayopazamabhAva vRddhi pAmyo. DaoN. zrI haribhAI temanA gurusthAne hatA. yogezabhAInI sevAparAyaNatAnAM darzana kocInamAM thayAM. ame lagabhaga 1988mAM zrI viNAbahena, yogezabhAInAM phoInA AmaMtraNathI kocIna satsaMga mATe gayAM hatAM. tyAM mane temano nikaTathI paricaya thayo. zrI haribhAI savAre amane zrI samayasArajIno svAdhyAya ApatA, vaLI tyAMnA upAzrayamAM savAre mAro svAdhyAya ane rAtre zrI haribhAIno svAdhyAya raheto. - zrI haribhAInI dinacaryAmAM yogezabhAI eka palakamAM temanI jarUriyAta samajI letA. zrI haribhAInuM vAtsalya ane yogezabhAInI sevAnuM yugala bodhadAyaka hatuM. vaLI bhAIno bodha svAtmasvarUpa pratyeno hato. ""tuM paranuM kaMI karI zakato nathI, to pachI zA mATe ATalo mathe che? jayAM tAruM karavApaNuM che tyAM daSTi kara to tAruM svarUpa prApta thaze." - yogezabhAI A bodhane khUba ghUMTatA. chevaTe bhAIe temane evuM sUcana kareluM ke tAre bahu bhIDamAM rahevuM nahi, bAhya pravRttinI vizeSatA karavI nahi. zakya teTalo ekAMtamAM lAbha che. teonA avasAna pachI yogezabhAI ghaNuM kharuM ekAMtamAM sAdhanA kare che. IDaranI uparanI guphAmAM, acaLagaDha (Abu)nA pahADamAM, chellAM thoDAM varSothI kauzAnI himAlayamAM mauna ekAMtanI sAdhanAmAM rahe che. IDaranI khullI guphAmAM rahe eTale dIpaDA, rIMcha, sarpa jevAM prANIo. (mitro)no meLApa thAya. temano maitrIbhAva joI te prANIo paNa jarA najara nAMkhI svasthAne jatA rahe. emAM nirbhayatAnuM darzana thatuM. kauzAnI eTale himAlayano ThaMDo pradeza. tyAM teone dehamAM sAkSIbhAvanI puSTi thAya che. vipazyanAnA gherA abhyAsathI temanAmAM A zakti AvirbhAva thaI che. temanAmAM bhaktibhAvanuM prabhu prItyarthanuM prAdhAnya mArI maMgalayAtrA 231 vibhAga-9

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che. sAthe svalakSya paNa puSTa che. vAraMvAra eka tattva ghUMTe che: "tuM jANanAra chuM, karanAra nathI." koI vAra saLaMga eka, be ke cAra mAsa kASThamauna pALe che. ekAsaNAnA vrata sahita temanI sAdhanA hoya che. Ama vaLI teo pharatA sAdhu jevA che. IDaranAM sthAnomAM hoya to paNa lokasaMparka ati alpa hoya che. AvuM ekAMta sevana virala jIvomAM jovA maLe che. amadAvAda Ave tyAre kyAreka satsaMgano yoga thAya che. mauna pachInI temanI vANImAM evuM rasAyaNa jhare che ke tenA zravaNamAM prerakabaLa maLatuM anubhavAya che. prANImAtramAM maitrIbhAva, deha pratye sAkSIbhAva, zrImajI tathA prabhu pratye ananya bhaktibhAva, vigereno temanA jIvanamAM pavitra saMgama che. teo kahetA hoya che ke : je kAMI bane che teno tuM jANanAra chuM. kartAbhAva choDe to bhoktAbhAva chUTe. mArA upayoganA darpaNamAM padArthanuM-rAgAdinuM pratibiMba paDe che teno huM jANanAra chuM, tema puruSArtha phorave to tuM mukta chuM." vaLI teo svadoSadarzana pratye jAgrata rahevAnuM ane nirIkSaNa karavAnuM kahetA hoya che. svayaM karatA hoya che. ekAMtamAM prabhu sAthe evI rIte manobhAva vyakta karavAnI temanI paddhati che, jenA vaDe doSa jaNAya ane jAya. cittanI nirmaLatA pragaTe che tevo temano anubhava pratyakSa anubhavAya che. yogezabhAInuM yogamaya jIvana preraNAdAyI che. kalyANamitra jyotibahena pratyeno ahobhAva : vAstavamAM jayotibahena ane huM eka ja poLanI dIkarIo. paNa uMmaramAM huM pAMceka varSa moTI ane mArAM lagna nAnI vayamAM thayelAM eTale amAro vizeSa paricaya na hato. paraMtu zrI ramaNabhAI ke je IDara AzramanA TrasTI hatA temanA avasAna pachI temanA nAnAbhAI eTale jyotibahenanA pati zrI kalyANabhAI TrasTIpaNe AvyA. teo dhaMdhAthI nivRtta hatA tethI A daMpatI IDara ghaNo samaya rahIne vyavasthA saMbhALatAM. te pahelAM jayotibahenano sAmAnya paricaya ramaNIkakAkAnA saMbaMdhathI thayelo. teo mAnavasevAnuM kArya karatA tyAre paNa paricaya thayo hato. vaLI kauTumbika sagapaNa kharuM paraMtu ahIM Atmika saMbaMdhathI AtmIyatAnI vAta che. teo bALapaNathI sAttvikatA dharAvatA hatA. zvetAMbara saMskAravALA hovAthI sAdhujanono paricaya paNa kharo. eTale bALapaNathI sAdAI, satya jevA guNonA grAhaka ane dhArmika vRttinA hatA. temAM sAsare vaDIlo vibhAga-9 ra3ra mArI maMgalayAtrA

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zrImad rAjacaMdranA anuyAyI hovAthI teone tenA saMskAro maLyA. teone saMtAnanI koI javAbadArI na hatI tethI teo vadhu samaya IDara gALatA. tyAre mAre paNa nivRtti mATe IDara javAnuM thatuM. daMpatI AzramanI suvyavasthitapaNe, sAttvikatApUrNa vyavasthA saMbhALatAM. jayotibahena to zAstranA abhyAsI, tyAgamayajIvana, saMtasevAsevI, kuzaLa chatAM namra, adhyAtmapremI to kharAM. TUMkamAM sAdhanArata jIvana jIvavAnI rucivALAM (joke emanI sAthe vAta karatAM A badhuM kahuM tyAre mane rokatAM) paNa mane je bhAva thayA, temanA guNono anubhava thayo, te uparAMta teo IDara jayAre huM sthiravAsa karatI tyAre mArI saMbhALa rAkhatA, satsaMgamAM khUba sAtha ApatA. tethI kaMIka lakhavA prerAu temAM navAI zI? IDaramAM pote svAdhyAya karatA ane karAvatA. vaLI ghaNI vAra rAtre amAro aMgata satsaMga paNa thato. have chellAM thoDAM varSothI zArIrika takalIphane kAraNe ane temanA patinA avasAna pachI teo pUjaya zrI AtmAnaMdajInI nizrAmAM kobA AzramamAM ghaNo samaya nivRtti gALe che. zrImadjInA vacanAmRtano tathA samayasArAdi graMthono UMDo abhyAsa karI temAMthI dharmano marma grahaNa karI aMtaramukha sAdhanA mATe temano puruSArtha anumodanIya che. zrImadjI pratye temanI ananya zraddhA che, te temanA jIvananuM uttama preraka baLa che. vaLI jyAre amadAvAda hoya tyAre ghaNA samayathI rAtre be kalAka satsaMga ke vAMcana ame avazya karatAM. Ama mane paNa temanI pAsethI ghaNI preraNA maLatI. vAstavamAM ame baMne anyonya preraNA letAM. ane amArA anubhavonuM AdAnapradAna karI jIvanasvarUpalakSI kema bane tenI UMDANathI vicAraNA karatA ane prasannatA anubhavatA. teo vAraMvAra eka vAta ghUMTatAH A mAnavajIvananI paLepaLa kImatI che. tenA vaDe jeTaluM aMtara mokSa pratye kapAya teTaluM kApI levuM, caDhatApaDatA paNa AgaLa vadhavuM. teo kahetA, ghaNI vAra saMskAravaza pramAdane vaza thaI javAya che tyAre satpuruSanA bodhanuM temanA jIvanaprasaMganuM smaraNa karIne TakavA mathyA ja karavAnuM che. svarUpadaSTi mATe teo zAstranAM ghaNAM TAMcaNa kahetA, temane kaMThastha thayeluM ghaNuM carcAvicAraNAmAM kahetA tyAre mane AvA satsaMgI-kalyANamitra maLyAno ghaNo ahobhAva thato, joke teone mArA tarapha ghaNo pUjyabhAva hovAthI mArI AvI vAtone svIkAratA nahi te temanI namratA che. TUMkamAM mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-9 233

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mArA jIvanamAM ghaNA satsaMgI mitromAM temanuM sthAna hRdayamAM hArdika rIte aMkita thayeluM che. vaLI mArI akasmAtathI thayelI bImArImAM temaNe ghaNo samaya ApI, satsaMga dvArA mahApuruSonA, zrImadjInA bodhanuM pAna karAvatA, AthI mane dehAdhyAsa taraphanuM lakSya maMda thavAmAM preraNA maLatI. kahevAya che ke sanmitro-kalyANamitro maLavA te puNyodaya che. teo AhArAdinI prakriyAmAM khUba saMyama rAkhe che, sthUla hiMsAmAM paNa jAgrata, AraMbhanA prakArathI sAvaceta rahetA. jIvana nirdoSa rahe te mATe jAgrata rahetA AthI temanI pAsethI preraNA maLatI. temanA jIvanamAM uttama mahAnubhAvono sahavAsa thayelo tenA saMskAra paNa kharA. saMtasevA e temano hRdayamAM aMkita thayelo bhAva che. huM haMmezAM temane mArA jevA, agara tyAgamAM AgaLa mAnuM. te teno nakAra kare. IDara houM tyAre oraDAnI saphAI karI jAya, kapaDAM mUkI jAya. AvI to keTalI sevA kare, huM kahuM tame ghaNuM puNya lUMTI lo cho. amArI nikaTatA evI che ke AMtarika vicAraNAmAM ghaNI mokaLAza anubhavIe chIe. purANA ke vartamAnamAM thatA doSanuM nirIkSaNa karIne kema dUra karavA tenI zAstrabodhanA AdhAre vicAraNA karIe. pUrve thayelA mAyAnA ke ugratA-doSanuM te prasaMganuM varNana laI vicArIe ane punaH tevo doSa na thAya te mATe anyonya nikhAlasatAthI salAhasUcana karIe. savizeSa jIvadayA pratye ane AhAranI zuddhi mATe teo jAgRti rAkhI jIvanamAM ghaNo saMyama keLavI zakyA che. temanI paNa mArA jevI eka jhaMkhanA che-samyaktvanI sanmukha rahI tenI prApti mATe jIvanane te mArge dorI javuM. Ama amArI ArAdhanAmAM ghaNuM sAmya che. eTale lyANamitro chIe. harSAmAMthI sAdhvI daDhapratijJAzrI (IDaranI bheTa) : amadAvAdamAM varSo pahelAM vartamAna sudhAraka tripuTIbaMdhu sAdhu avasthAmAM hatA tyAre vidyAzALAnA upAzraye mane mAMDavInI putrI harSAno paricaya thayo hato. pachI te paricayane kAraNe huM IDara houM tyAre te ArAdhanA mATe Ave, sAthe rahe. zrAvikAnA AcAranA pAlanayukta tenuM jIvana hatuM. te uparAMta vinaya ane namratAnA guNothI vibhUSita hatI. potAnI ArAdhanA kare, ane sevAkArya paNa kare. hA, khUba lAgaNIpradhAna hatI. kayAreka kasoTI samaye raDI javuM te tene sahaja hatuM, paraMtu tarata ja 234 mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-4

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mana vALI letI. IDaranI sahasAdhanAne kAraNe IDaranI bheTa kahuM chuM. koI vAra sAthe yAtrAmAM AvatI. huM mAMDavI jatI tyAre temanA pitAne ghare jatI. tenI dIkSA levAnI bhAvanA hatI. paraMtu mAtApitA maMjUrI ApatAM nahi. teo koI zrImannA bhaktane maLelA, temaNe salAha ApI ke A kALamAM dIkSAno kaMI artha nathI. kaSAyamukta thavuM te dharma che. A vAta temanA manamAM ThasI gaI. huM mAMDavI gaI tyAre carcA thaI mane kahe : kaSAyamukta thAya pachI dIkSA le. vaLI have amArI uMmara thaI che. meM kahyuM : "varSA zuM kaSAya kare che ! vaLI kaSAyanA saMskAra to sAmAnya rIte hoya te nAza karavA cAritra che. vaLI tamAre putra che, A mAnavabhavamAM ja dIkSAno yoga hoya che. zrImade dIkSAnI nA pADI nathI, e khoTo khyAla che. tame vRddha thayA cho, vaLI tame na hoya tyAre harSAe zuM karavAnuM? bhAI bhAbhI sAthe saMsAramAM rahe tenA karatAM upAzraye gurunI nizrA vadhu sArI che. jeTalAM karma cAritrathI khapaze teTalAM kaMI saMsAramAM khapavAnA nathI. vaLI Ameya tenAmAM klezanI maMdatA che. Ama carcA thaI. temane gaLe vAta UtarI haze. harSAnA aMtarAya khapyA haze. mAtA-pitAe rajA ApI. tenI dIkSA pU. zrI kalApUrNasUrijInA samudAyamAM thavAnI hatI. tethI gurudevanI AjJA mATe temanAM guNIno patra Avyo. te samaye AcAryazrI sUrata hatA, tyAre yogAnuyoga huM sUrata gurudeva pAse vAcanA mATe gaI hatI. te patramAM mArA nAmano ullekha hato ke harSAe sunaMdAbahena pAse ArAdhanA karI che. - huM vAcanA samaye gurudeva pAse gaI. temaNe pUchyuM ke "tame mAMDavInI harSAne oLakho cho ?' hA, te mArI sAthe rahetI hatI. abhyAsI, AcArayukta ane vinayI che." "tene dIkSA levAnuM muhUrta ApavAnuM che." mArAthI sahaja kahevAI gayuM: "sAhebajI ! tene kriyAonI vizeSatA anukULa nahi paDe, zAstrAbhyAsa mauna-ciMtananI rucivALI che." gurudeve patramAM AjJA lakhI, sAthe jaNAvyuM ke tenA guNI noMdha le ke tenI pAse kriyAno vizeSa Agraha na rAkhe, tema sAdhujIvanane yogya kriyAmAM te pramAda na kare vigere. - tyAra pachI harSA "dRDhapratijJAzrI" sAdhvI thayAM. tenA guru mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-9 235

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divyadarzanAzrIjI che. te Aje paNa mArA pratye evo ja Adara rAkhI nivAse Ave che. sArI rIte cAritrapAlana kare che. amArA AvA sAdhakono yoga te dhanabhAgya che. AdaraNIya pU. zrI AtmAnaMdajIno paricaya tathA samAgama : pU.zrInuM janmathI nAma mukuMda sonejI. tabIbI kSetre abhyAsa karI, DaoNkaTaranI DigrI meLavI kuzaLa DaoNkTara tarIke kAmagIrI bajAvatA hatA. potAnA ja svabaLe e kSetre prasiddhi prApta karI. kauTumbika jIvanamAM zarmiSThAbahena jeo DaoNkTara che, temanI sAthe lagna thayAM. baMne potAnA vyavasAyamAM goThavAI gayAM hatAM. eka saMtAnanI prApti thaI hatI. eka vAra teone bhayaMkara mAMdagI AvI, tyAre bhAvinuM koI gUDha nirmANa temAM chupAyeluM hatuM ke zuM ? te samaye temanA hAthamAM "zrI kuMdakuMdanAM traNa ratno" pustikA jemAM digaMbara AcArya bhagavaMtazrI kuMdakuMdAcAryaracita samayasArAdi graMthonuM saMkalana hatuM enA adhyayane evuM UMDANa paDyuM ke teo svayaM graMthanuM maMthana karavA lAgyA. (sAMbhaLeluM) A zarIra roganuM ghara, AtmA tenAthI bhinna kevaLa sacit AnaMdamaya. e maMthanamAM emano vicArakaLaza AtmA para DhaLyo. bALapaNamAM mAtApitA taraphathI maLelA saMskAro ane saMtasamAgamarUpI sarovaramAM karelAM chabachabiyAM jANe saritAnA pravAhamAM pahoMcyAM, AtmA jAgyo. zarIra thAkeluM nidrAdhIna thAya, AtmA jAgelo vadhu saMzodhana kare tema DaoN. mukuMdanuM AMtarika jIvana parivartana pAmyuM. DaoNkTarInA abhyAsakALathI ja zAstra-adhyayana karatA. vaLI saMtono samAgama thatAM zAstrAbhyAsa vRddhi pAmyo. svAtmA pratye jhukAva vRddhi pAmatAM kSayopazama vikAsa pAmyo. tyAM vaLI teone zrImad rAjacaMdranAM vacanAmRtono yoga thayo. teo kahetA ke AcArya bhagavaMtonA tAttvika zAstrabodhathI svAtmasvarUpanuM nizcayarUpa lakSya thayuM. paNa te mArge cAlavAnuM zrI vacanAmRtathI samajAyuM. sanmArganAM gUDha rahasyo UkalatAM gayAM. A abhigame lagabhaga cAlIsa AsapAsa varSanI vaye, jyAre DaoNkTarI dhIkhatI cAlatI hatI tyAre temaNe AMzika nivRttino abhyAsa zarU karyo. pote svAdhyAya pradAna karatA, zibiro goThavatA, potAnA tyAga ane tapanA baLe temanA cAhakonI saMkhyA vadhI. saune lAgyuM ApaNuM sAdhanA mATe nivRtta sthAna hoya to sAruM. teo mata paMthanA AgrahI nathI. mukhya paddhati digaMbara AmnAyanI vibhAga-9 236 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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chatAM sau sAdhako temanI nizrAmAM samAI jAya tevA vizALa vaDalA jevuM temanuM vyaktitva che. Ama sva-para zreyarUpa temanA jIvanathI maLatA bodhathI cAhakonuM AkarSaNa vRddhi pAmyuM. AthI saunI bhAvanA lakSyamAM rAkhI tenI vicAraNA karI 1981-82mAM amadAvAdathI 22 ki.mI. dUra gAMdhInagaranA kobA gAmanI sarahade, zrImad rAjacaMdra AdhyAtmika kendranI sthApanA thaI. AthI krame karIne teo mahadaMze pArivArika saMbaMdha ane vyavasAyathI mukta thaI AzramamAM rahevA lAgyA. e daramyAna teoe mane AzramamAM ArAdhanA-svAdhyAya mATe AmaMtraNa ApyuM. temanA medhAvI, jJAnavRddha, saraLacitta ane namrasvabhAvI guNonuM mane darzana thatAM temanuM sAnnidhya anukULa rahyuM. temanA svAdhyAyamAM sadAcAra-zIlayukta jIvana ane svarUpalakSyanuM samanvayakArI vaktavya AnaMdadAyaka rahetuM. teono vizeSa jhukAva digaMbara AmnAyano che, chatAM teo vizALatA dharAve che. thoDA samaya pachI teo vizeSa nivRttimAM sAdhanA karavA lAgyA. vizeSa prakAre tyAga ane saMyamajIvana sAthe sva-para zreyanI pravRtti sahaja rIte vikasatI gaI. temanA cAhakono temanA pratye ati Adara che, teone gurupade rAkhI sau AjJApAlanathI sAdhanA karI rahyA che. tyAgasaMyamanI vRddhi sAthe jevA bhAva che tevuM nAmakaraNa karyuM che : "AtmAnaMdajI." saMtazrI AtmAnaMdajI nAme hAla teo paricita che. nAmathI mukuda sonejInuM jIvana have utkRSTa sAdhanAnA abhigame yathAnAma pravRtta che. mane temanA samAgama ane bodhano ghaNo lAbha maLyo che, te mATe teo mArA upakArI che. chellAM thoDAM varSomAM Azramano anekavidha vikAsa thaI rahyo che. tenA praNetA teo che. teonuM saMtatva saune sparze che. sAMsArika jIvanasAthI Do. zarmiSThAbahenane huM "RSipatnI' kahetI. temane paropakAra tathA samataguNa AtmasAtu che. patinA tyAgajIvana sAme emaNe kyAreya aMtarAya Ubho karyo nathI. patnIne strI prakRti pramANe patinuM tyAgIjIvana svIkAravuM kaThaNa paDe toye temaNe hasate mukhe te nibhAvyuM che. vaLI zrI AtmAnaMdajInI bhAvanA evI ke jo sAco mArga maLyAno yoga che to saMsArano moha choDavo. A bodhane grahaNa karI eka ArAdhaka tarIke teo paNa have AzramamAM rahI ghaNI nivRtti gALe che. sva-para zreyanI pravRttimAM saunI cAhanA meLavI che. AzramamAM temanuM janapriyatna mArI maMgalayAtrA 237 vibhAga-9

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che. .zrInI jihavAnA baMne kAma mitalakSI ane saMyamita che, arthAt AhAra saMyama ane vANIno saMyama temane AtmasAt che te anubhavamAM Ave che. maitrI Adi bhAvanAothI teo bhAvita che. pU.zrInA bodhano sAra mukhyatve bhaktipradhAna ane tattvabodhano hoya che. temanA pravacano saraLa, rasALa, mArmika hoya che. 'mithyAgrahano tyAga karavo, pramAda varjita, viSalolupatAthI mukta rahevA vItarAgatA poSaka sadbhutanuM niraMtara zravaNa-vAcana karatA rahevuM. gurugame kaSAyane upazAMta karI zAzvata sukha meLavavA mATe A mAnavadeha maLyo che. te mATe satpAtratA keLavavI". teonuM jIvana tyAgaparAyaNa, prayogAtmaka ane vairyamAna che. bhedajJAna jevA tattvabodha sAthe teo bhaktimArganI vizeSatA darzAve che, je jIvo mATe saraLa che. teo kahetA hoya che : A deha jIvatuM zaba che, tenA mohathI karmasattA saMsAramAM rakhaDAvanAra che. te mATe prabhubhakti dvArA nirmamatva thavuM. sagurunA bodhanA sAphalya mATe satpAtratA keLavavI temanI AjJAnuM pAlana karavuM. aMtaraMga jAgRti rAkhavI. te mATe anityAdi bhAvanAothI bhAvita thavuM. A mArga mahApuruSArthano che. mATe satata saMta-samAgamanA grAhaka rahevuM.' zrImad rAjacaMdrajInA sAdhanA kSetro vistRta che. 1981mAM zrI sonejInI preraNAthI amadAvAdanI najIka 22 ki.mI. dUra kobA gAmanI hadamAM AzramanI sthApanA thaI. te pahelAM teozrInI nizrAmAM yojAtI zibiromAM pravacana mATe javAnuM thatuM. tyAra pachI A kendramAM nivRtti mATe rahevAnuM ghaNuM anukULa thayuM. vaLI teozrInA sabhAvathI svAdhyAyasamAgamano lAbha maLato. AzramamAM teozrInI sthiratAne kAraNe mumukSuo paNa nivRtti mATe rahetA. teonI sAdhanA mATe nityakramanuM Ayojana thatuM. savizeSa bhaktisatsaMgane kAraNe sAdhanAmAM saraLatA rahetI. sAmUhika Ayojana uparAMta teozrI vyaktigata mArgadarzana ApatA. savAre 5 thI 7 vAge bhakti-AlocanA, pachI aMgata dinacarcA, 9-30 thI 11-30 svAdhyAya-satsaMga thatA. aMgata kArya, vyaktigata ArAdhanAno samaya raheto. 3-30 thI pa carcA, praznottarI, anya pravacano 238 mArI maMgalayAtrA --- -- ~ --- vibhAga-9

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thatAM. vaLI rAtre 7-30 thI 9 bhakti AlocanA thatAM. khAsa prasaMgonI ujavaNI thatI. zibironuM Ayojana thatuM tyAre bahAranA vidvajanono lAbha maLato. zrI paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanAnuM vizeSa Ayojana thatuM. chellAM pAMceka varSamAM to saMsthAno ghaNo vikAsa thayo che. dezaparadezanA cAhako sAro lAbha meLave che. adhyAtmayogI AnaMdaghanajInI smRti aMkAI gaI tyAre ? eka vAra huM Abu nivRtti mATe rahI hatI. nakhI taLAva para nityakrama pramANe pharatI hatI. pachI eka zAMta jagyAe beThI hatI. pahADanI jhADImAM dUra dUra najara gaI. ane abhuta rIte zrI AnaMdaghanajInI pratimA najaramAM UpasI AvI. pachI to temanuM vana-upavanamAM ghUmavuM, dhyAnamAM lIna thavuM, vigere AkRtio UpasavA mAMDI ane teo dhyAna mATe upadeza ApI rahyA che tevI manamAM kalpanA UpasI. AnaMdathI citta bharAI gayuM. e ja bhAvamAM nivAse pahoMcI. AbumAM pU. gaMgAbA jhaverInA makAnamAM temanI sAthe be mAsa mATe nivRtti mATe AvI hatI. te divase evA bhAvo UpasyA ke tarata ja noTa laI lakhavA beThI. pachI to roja roja lakhatI. ajJAnapaNe paDeluM nAnuM bI aMkura thaI pragaTe, tema nAnI vayamAM AnaMdaghana covIsInAM stavano zIkhelI teno paNa A lekhanamAM prabhAva haze. lagabhaga 200 pAnAM lakhAI gayAM. - pU. AcArya yazovijayasUri kahetA : "eka ja zAstra ghUsyA karo, eka ja gurunizrA sevyA karo te tamAro saMskAra banI A janma ke AgaLanA janmamAM paNa pragaTa thaze." AbuthI amadAvAda AvI vaLI thoDA divasa mATe kobA AzramamAM gaI. tyAre saMsthAnA sAhitya-prasAranuM kAma zrI harilAla zAha saMbhALatA hatA. dara mAse "divyadhvani' nIkaLatuM hatuM. mane temaNe te mATe lekhanI vAta karI. meM temane A noTo ApI ke tame emAMthI ThIka lAge to lekha tarIke laI zako cho. temane A lekhana racyuM. eTale pU. sAhebajIne batAvyuM. temane paNa ThIka lAgyuM. temAM yogya sUcano karyA. AthI satazrata sAhitya dvArA dhyAna, eka parizIlana' nAme pustaka rUpe prasiddha thayuM. jeno zrI kumArapALa desAIe "gujarAta samAcAra'mAM suMdara ullekha karI lekha Apyo hato. jene kAraNe te pustaka ghaNuM prasAra pAmyuM. tyAra pachI pU. sAhebajInI preraNA, Adeza ane sahakArathI bIjA pustako paNa prasiddha thayAM. mArI maMgalayAtrA 239 vibhAga-9

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digaMbara AcAryazrI vidyAsAgarajInA darzanano lAbha : kobA AzramamAM sthiratA daramyAna pU. zrI sAthe satsaMgayAtrAmAM javAnuM thayuM hatuM. tyAre 1983 lagabhaga jabalapura digaMbara AcArya bhagavaMta zrI vidyAsAgarajInAM darzana ane bodhano lAbha maLyo hato. jo ke temano bodha ziSyagaNane lakSIne kevaLa tattvadRSTiyukta ane zAstrIya hovAthI samajAyuM na hatuM. paNa ekAda vAra amane judo samaya Apyo hato. tyAre zrAvakAcAranI zuddhi viSe kaMIka samajAvyuM hatuM. meM pUchyuM hatuM ke gRhasthane dhyAna hoya ke nahi, uttama saMtAnavALAne dhyAna hoya ema kahyuM che ne ? AcAryazrI bolyA : jIvane dhyAna hoya ja che, jIva dhyAna vagarano che nahi. ArtadhyAna ane raudradhyAna niraMtara cAlu che. mATe dhyAnane badalavAnuM che. gRhastha ke sAdhu navakAramaMtra dvArA zubhabhAvathI bhAvita thaI dharmadhyAna jarUra karI zake che. jo gRhasthapaNe zubhadhyAnamAM nahi rahe to azubhadhyAna to rahyA ja kare che mATe navakAramaMtranuM dhyAna karI durgAnathI bacavuM. (hiMdImAM). pU. AcAryazrI vidyAsAgarajI digaMbara AmnAyamAM prakhara jJAnI, zAstrajJa ane tejasvI vyaktitva dharAve che. tyAre lAgatuM ke A kALamAM paNa AvI utkRSTadazAne prApta mahAtmAo hoya che. AmnAyabhedathI thoDo vivAda che. paraMtu te divasomAM joyuM ke dehAdhyAsa choDavAno prayoga jabarajasta hoya che. unALAnI garamImAM bapore 12 thI 4 bahAra svAdhyApa, dhyAna kare ziyALAmAM rAtrie besIne kare. parigraha rahita temanI dinacaryA jovA maLI. joke mAro saMskAra zvetAMbara AmnAyano hovAthI tyAra pachI vizeSapaNe tyAM javAnA bhAva thayA na hatA. guNagrAhatAnI daSTie darzanano lAbha maLyo hato. adhyAtmayogI pU. A. zrI vijaya kalApUrNasUrijIno AMzika samAgama: lagabhaga 1984no e samaya haze. huM eka bahenane tyAM maLavA gaI. temane tyAM (pastI) kADhI nAkhavAnAM pustako paDyAM hatAM. tenA para mArI saheja najara gaI. temAM "tattvajJAna pravezikA' nAmanuM pustaka hAtha AvyuM. Amatema pAnAM pheravatAM prathama najare ja temAM kaMI navuM darzana thayuM. e navatattvano mane khAsa abhyAsa hato ja nahi. pUrA kramathI nAma paNa khabara na hatI. A pustakanAM citro ane lekhane mane AkarSaNa pedA vibhAga-9 240 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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karyuM. tapAsa karatAM jANavA maLyuM ke A pustaka zrI vijaya kalApUrNasUrijInuM lakheluM che. te kacchamAM maLe che. mAro abhyAsa na hato paNa jJAnIo kahe che tame sanmArge prayANa karo, satu tamArI sAthe kadama milAvaze. kobA AzramanA nivRtta, nivAsamAM nAIrobInA zrI somacaMdabhAIno paricaya thatAM 1984mAM mAre nAIrobI javAnuM hatuM te daramyAna e pustaka huM pUruM vAMcI gaI. pU. A. zrI bhadrakarasUrijInuM thoDuM mArgadarzana maLyuM. AthI nAIrobI kenyAnA zrotAjanonA abhyAsa mATe A pustaka laI javuM tevA bhAva karyA ane traNaso nakala maMgAvI. vaLI yogAnuyoga kaccha javAnuM thayuM. pU. AcAryazrI lagabhaga trIseka varSathI kaccha-vAgaDanA pradezamAM viharatA hatA. temanA gurujIe ane teozrIe kaccha-vAgaDanA pradezamAM satudharmanI dhajA pharakAvI hatI. loko kahetAM A daivI puruSa che jyAM jAya che tyAM kaMkanAM pagalAM thAya che arthAta jIvo bodha pAme che. amane (pazumAMthI) kheDUtamAMthI mANasa banAvyA che. vAgaDanI pUrI prajAmAM Avo Adara hato. ame be divasa mATe gayAM hatAM. manamAMthI e vAta nIkaLI gayelI ke A pradezamAM e pustikAnA praNetA AcAryazrI che. temanAM darzana karIe. paraMtu temanI pustikA mATe thayelA bahumAnanA bhAvanAnI e camatkRti haze? ame sAMje mAMDavI prabhu-darzanArthe derAsara gayA. tyAM khabara maLyA ke pU. A. zrI kalApUrNasUrijInI mAMDavImAM AjanI rAta sthiratA che. ame paNa e rAta mAMDavImAM rokAvAnAM hatAM. sAMja paDI hatI. ame upAzraye gayAM. koIno paricaya na hato. eka bhAIne pUchyuM : amAre AcAryazrInAM vaMdana karavAM che. ame traNa baheno hatAM. sAMja DhaLI hatI. eTale e bhAI kahe : have AcAryazrInAM vaMdana nahi thAya. meM kahyuM : tame kaho to kharA ke amadAvAdathI baheno AvyAM che. jo vadhuM kahevuM paDe to kahejo : teozrInA tattvajJAnanA traNaso pustako maMgAvelAM te bahenane tattva vize kaMI pUchavuM che ke e bhAIe aMdara jaIne vAta karI. tarata ja AcAryabhagavaMta eka ziSya sAthe bahAra osarImAM AvyA. sUkalakaDI deha, cAlamAM garimA nikhare, AMkhamAM vAtsalya ane nirmaLatA chalakAya. vaLI vyaktine mApI le. tevI tIkSNatA, cittanI saraLatA, hRdayanI niHspRhatA pratyakSa anubhavI. mane jyAre navatattva samajAvyAM tyAre lAgyuM ke vANInuM amRta maLyuM. Ama anekavidha pratibhAnAM mArI maMgalayAtrA 241 vibhAga-9

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darzanathI citta prasanna prasanna thaI UThyuM. teozrI osarImAM Asana pAtharI beThA. amane nirAMta lAgI ke have kaMIka bodha to maLaze. ame sAdara vaMdana-vidhi karyA. pachI namra bhAve nivedana karyuM ke amadAvAdathI meM navatattva pravezikA pustako maMgAvelAM te mATe mArgadarzana joIe chIe. mAre nAirobImAM eno varga levo che. pU. zrI vijaya kalApUrNasUrijInI vacanalabdhino dharmalAbha : - teozrIe tarata ja pahelo pATha samajAvavAnI zarUAta karI. sAva TUMkuM ane marmagrAhI. tattva nava che : jIvaH cetanA ane upayoga sahita che. manuSyAdi. ajIva H tenAthI viparIta. cetanA rahita che. upayoga rahita che. khATalA-pATalA tathA dharmAstikAya vigere. puNya : zubha bhAvathI thAya, puNyathI sukha maLe. pApa : azubha bhAvathI baMdhAya. udaye du:kha paDe. AzravaH pUro saMsAramithyAtvAdi kAraNothI thatI badhI kriyAthI karyagrahaNa thAya. saMvaraH saMyamAdithI AvatAM karma rokAya. (rAgAdibhAvanuM rokAvavuM.) nirjarA : tapathI AvelAM karmo krame krame kSINa thAya. baMdha : AtmAnA pradezo sAthe karmarajanuM dUdha-pANInI jema maLavuM. mokSa : saMpUrNa karmano kSaya thavo. zuddha AtmAnuM pragaTa thavuM. pachI kahe : juo saraLatAthI zIkhavuM ane zikhavADavuM. jIva kahyA pachI tenAthI viparIta ajIva. Ama nava tattva paraspara virodhamAM che. jIvanA lakSaNathI viruddha ajIva, puNyanI viruddha pApa. AzravanI sAme saMvara, nirjarA; baMdhano pratipakSa mokSa dasa miniTamAM to eka pAThano bodha maLyo. paNa temAM teozrInI vacanalabdhinI camatkRti thaI, pachI jyAre e pustaka vAMcyuM tyAre eka ja vAramAM samajAI gayuM. vaLI jyAre jyAre vargamAM teno abhyAsa karAvuM tyAre svataH rahasyo khUlatAM jAya. thoDAM puNya ochAM paDyA ke punaH pAMca-cha varSa darzanArthe javAnuM sUjhayuM nahi. joke temaNe ApelI zIkha dIrghakALa sudhI TakI hatI te temanI ja kRpA hatI. AnA pariNAme navatattvanuM zikSaNa svamAM ane anya pAtra jIvonI sAthe abhyAsa dvArA cUMTAtuM rahyuM, jenA kAraNe jIvomAM tatvarUcino ullAsa pragaTato rahyo che. te jIvo jIvananA mULa marmane pAmavAne pAtra bane che. vibhAga-9 242 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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kenyA - nAIrobI satsaMga yAtrA I.sa. 1984 jayAbahena, somacaMdabhAI, sudhAbahena vigere bhajanika zrI IdumatI dhAnaka sAthe mombAsA daherAsaramAM bhakti pachInI vidAya

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kenyA - nAIrobI satsaMga yAtrA I.sa. 1984 DEGUATOR ALTITUDE THIS BOAD WAS BUILT BY H.Z.& CO. LTD. mombAsA jatA pravAsamAM IkveTara (viSuvavRtta)nI rekhAmAM kenyA pravAsamAM kudaratanA khoLe

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laMDananI satsagayAtrA (zrI paryuSaNaparva nimitte) 1984 | bAheM, zubhaccho sAthe rabA~na . sunaMdAbahenanuM - mAna. ko sunaMda6oMnTa 0Il/ Abora laI : dAhoda laMDananI satsaMga yAtrAnI zubha vidAya samAja kalyANa saMgha laMDananA hIthro eraporTa para susvAgatam laMDanamAM mahilA zibira

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laMDananI satsaMgayAtrA (zrI paryuSaNa parva nimitte) 1984 NAUNAT VANIK ASSOCIATION WELCOMES YOU SAdAnuM che, | dA raNacha beeTIel EL SELLA ritra sAIna -che. ti sama. roDL nanhIM. tera prabhu prabhu laya lAge. naI . ghaTI laMDananA navanAta bhavanamAM prathamadharmasabhA 3 k Duty Fresh hIthro eraporTa para bhAvabharI vidAya saMcAlaka zrI nemubhAI caMdarayA tathA zrI sudhAbena vigere

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paradezanI satsagayAtrAno prAraMbha : AphrikAnA dezonI satsagayAtrA zrImad rA. sA. kendramAM pU. zrInA samAgama mATe paradezathI mumukSuo AvatA. AphrikA-kenyAthI zrI somacaMdabhAI zAha AvelA temaNe pU zrIne nAirobI satsaMga yAtrAnuM AmaMtraNa ApyuM hatuM. pU. zrIne te samaye anukULa na hovAthI teozrIe mAruM nAma sUcavyuM. pU.zrInA Adeza ane sahakArathI sau prathama 1984mAM mArI AphrikAnA nAIrobI vigere sthaLoe satsagayAtrA goThavAI hatI. tyAre Indubahena dhAnakano bhakti-kAryakrama sAthe goThavyo hato. - 1984nA eprilamAM ame kenyA nAIrobI pahoMcyA. lagabhaga 50 jevA saMtsaMgIo erapaoNrTa svAgata mATe AvyA hatA. jayasoma bhavana pahoMcyA tyAre gIto gavAyAM. umaLakAbhera ame saunA AvakArane mANyo. nAirobI moTuM derAsara che. jainonI vastI paNa traNa hajAra uparAMta hatI. savAre roja 10 thI 12 daherAsaranI mahAjanavADImAM "natattvajJAna pravezikA." pU. zrI vijya kalApUrNasUrijInuM hatuM tenA vargo be saptAha cAlyA. lagabhaga rapa0-300 jevA bhAI-baheno roje lAbha letA hatA. ahIM sau prathama ja A vargono kAryakrama thayo hato. AthI sauno utsAha hato. sAMje zrI Indubahena dhAnaka dvArA eka kalAka bhakti ane eka kalAka mAro svAdhyAya hatAM. temAM bAra bhAvanAno viSaya keTalAMka dRSTAMto sAthe hovAthI jijJAsuone rucikara thayo hato. roje lagabhaga 700 uparAMtanI saMkhyAmAM saue lAbha lIdho hato. vaLI keTalAka satsaMgI mitronI bhAvanA darekanA ghare savAre svAdhyAya ane svAmIvAtsalyanI rahetI, AthI 150/2OO jevA satsaMgIone amArI sAthe AmaMtraNa ApI khUba utsAhathI svAdhyAya pachI bhojanano kAryakrama rAkhatA. kula 21 divasano kAryakrama sAnaMda saMpanna thayo. temAM vacce be divasa saphArImAM javAnuM hatuM. tyAM hAthInAM ToLAM jovAnAM, vAgha-siMhane najIkathI jovAnA, ema paryaTana goThavyuM hatuM. paNa mAre to niyama hato ke AvAM sthaLomAM javuM nahi. vaLI bicArAM je prANIo pazujIvananI parAdhInatAmAM jIvatAM hoya temane joIne ApaNe khuzI manAvavI te to hitAvaha nathI. somacaMdabhAI kahe ke ""tyAM sAMje to bhakti, svAdhyAya rAkhyAM mArI maMgalayAtrA 243 vibhAga-9

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che." e kharuM, paNa derAsara jevA pavitra sthAnane badale saphArImAM svAdhyAya rAkhavAthI kaMI satsaMgano Atmika lAbha na thAya. pachI to thoDAka mitro gayA ane ghaNAkharAne vAta sAcI lAgI teo gayA nahi. vaLI sAMbhaLavAmAM AvyuM ke A dezanI vAta nyArI che. baheno tapa kare, paNa pAraNuM thAya ane rajAnA divaso hoya to kAsIno-jugAra ramavA jevAM sthAnomAM paNa pahoMcI jAya. bahenone A duSaNathI karma baMdhAya che te samajAvyuM. keTalAMke te sthAne na javAnI pratijJA lIdhI. ekaMdare satsaMgamAM utsAhapreraka vAtAvaraNathI ghaNo lAbha thayo. te samayanA pravacananI pustikA zrI somAbhAI dvArA prakAzita thaI hatI. mombAsA ane kisumumAM paNa svAdhyAya-satsaMgano kAryakrama utsAhabhera saMpanna thayo hato. eka vAra eka satsaMgIe svAmIvAtsalya rAkhyuM hatuM. lagabhaga 200 jeTalA satsaMgIone AmaMtraNa hatuM. te divase AThama hatI. meM kahyuM : mAre AyaMbila che. yajamAna kahe : to to bahu sAruM. amane tapa karAvavAno lAbha maLaze. pachI jAhera karyuM ke kAle AThama che; bahena AyaMbila karavAnAM che. tyAM to lagabhaga trIseka satsaMgIoe potAnAM nAma noMdhAvyAM, ane te divase AyaMbila tapanI ArAdhanA thaI. anya rasoI paNa tithinA niyama mujaba karavAmAM AvI hatI. tyAra pachI 1988mAM somacaMdabhAIe puna: 21 divasano satsaMgano kAryakrama goThavyo hato. tyAre paNa savAra-sAMja jijJAsuoe sAro lAbha lIdho hato. te vakhate eka zrImaMta ane jANItA kAryakarabhAI maLavA AvyA ke vyavasAyane lIdhe satsaMgamAM AvI zakato nathI. paNa mAre ghera mArA mitro bhegA thaIe, tame Avo ane svAdhyAya Apo ? e rIte svAdhyAyano kAryakrama thayo. svAmIvAtsalya thayuM. pachI te bhAI mArI pAse beThA. kahe ke kharekhara svAdhyAya sAMbhaLIne lAgyuM ke "jIvana to doDAdoDamAM vahyuM jAya che ane Atmahita kaMI thatuM nathI. mAre zuM karavuM joIe ?" "ThIka che, saMsthAmAM sevAbhAvathI kAma karo to te satkArya che. paNa AtmakalyANa mATe samaya rAkhavo joIe. vadhAre nahi paNa roje savAre 25-30 miniTa phALavo. tamane zAMti maLaze. te samaye zAMta citte prabhune samarpita thaI 27 navakAra, eka-be pAnAM zAstravAMcana karajo . stuti bolI nityakrama pUro karaje." prayatna karIza." vibhAga-2 mArI maMgalayAtrA 244

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"mArI zubhecchA." ""je saMsthAmAM mAnavatAbharyA kAryo na hoya ane kevaLa zrImaMta cho, mATe saMsthAmAM rahetA hoya to temAMthI mukta thazo to paNa samaya maLaze. tyArapachI chelle 1995nI sAlamAM punaH nAIrobI javAnuM thayuM paNa A vakhate zrImadjInA cAhakoe kAryakrama goThavyo hato eTale khAsa ekAda kAryakrama sivAya jAhera kAryakrama thayA na hatA. zrI vacanAmRtanuM vAMcana thatuM hatuM. joke zrotAomAM jijJAsuvRtti sArI hatI. vaLI mombAsAmAM svAdhyAya rAkhyo hato. svAdhyAyanI sabhAonA nimitte jenA jenA vyaktigata paricaya thayA, teone jIvanadaSTinA vikAsano ghaNo lAbha thato. temAM keTalAka jijJAsuo rojane mATe, jIvananI pavitratA keLavavA keTalAka niyamo letA, vyasanathI mukta thavAnI pratijJA letA vigere. eka phekTarInA mAlika temanI phekTarImAM (pagalAM) laI gayA. Ama to ame evA sthAnomAM jatAM nathI. paNa koI vAra lAbhanuM kAraNa thaI jatuM eTale javAnuM banatuM. phekTarImAM kaMI jovA jevuM to hatuM nahi. ApaNe vaLI jinabiMba sivAya jovAnuM zuM hoya ? navakAra gaNatAM thoDuM pharyA. nIkaLatI vakhate temaNe phekTarImAM banatI zAla ApI. meM kahyuM : mane AvI jarUra nathI hotI. temaNe khUba Agraha karyo. meM kahyuM tame mArI pAsethI kaMI lo to kadAca vicAra karuM. temaNe javAba na Apyo. meM kahyuM, ""roja eka navakAravALI gaNavAnA bhAva karo, ane pratijJAbaddha thaI gaNavAno niyama karo to jarUra thaze." eka miniTa vicAramAM paDyA. ame sau UbhAM hatAM. vaLI bolyA, "Ama to mArA lAbhamAM che. paNa vizvAsa Avato nathI." meM kahyuM, "temAM vizvAsa prabhuno rAkhavAno che. tame bhAva karo eTale thAya. ATalo saMsAra Ubho thayo. phekTarI UbhI thaI, konA vizvAsathI? tamArA AtmAnA vizvAsathI ne ?" "hA." "basa, to have tamane triveNInuM baLa maLaze. tamArA AtmAnuM, prabhunuM ane amAruM. pachI eka nahi, ghaNI mALA gaNazo." tarata ja temaNe AnaMdathI te pratijJA lIdhI. e zAla hajI mArI pAse che eTale mane vizvAsa che ke teo navakAravALI gaNatA haze. nahi to e zAla mArI pAse Take nahi, te anyatra jatI ja rahe tevuM lAge che. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-9 25

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zrI somacaMdabhAInuM vyaktitva : AphrikAnA samagra kAryakrama vyavasthita rIte goThavavA ane AnaMdapUrvaka karavAno parizrama zrI somacaMdabhAI tana-mana-dhanathI karatA. savArathI pUrA kAryakramamAM athAkapaNe chAyAnI jema sAthe rahetA. moTA vyApArI chatAM viveka sahita sevAbhAva rAkhatA. mAIlo sudhI jAte ja gADI calAvatA ne AnaMdathI sArathinuM kAma karatA. teo svayaM sAdhaka hatA. rojanI prabhubhakti, svAdhyAya, dAna e temanA jIvananuM mukhya kartavya hatuM. kauTumbika javAbadArIo nibhAvatA ane prabhu prItyarthe nivRtti paNa gALatA. sAttvikatAnA saMskAra emane bALapaNamAM maLyA hatA. teo jAmanagara choDIne AphrikA gayA. vIseka varSanI uMmara hatI. mAtuzrIe abhakSya AhAra ane vyasana vyarjananI pratijJA ApI hatI. eka vAra evA pradezamAM javuM paDyuM ke paMdara divasa tarabUca sivAya kaMI paNa AhAramAM khape tevuM na hatuM. teo kahetA : "dhana kamAvAvA mATe kevo zrama vekyo che ! have dharma karavAnI ghaNI anukuLatAo che to paNa A saMsAra chUTato nathI." vAstavamAM te samaye AphrikA hajI navA navA gayelA paNa mAtuzrInI zIkha hatI ke abhakSya khAvuM nahi. te niyama kaThinAI chatAM temaNe dhaMdhAmAM paNa pALyo. tyAre sthiti to sAmAnya hatI ane koI kaMpanI taraphathI moTuM vyApAranuM kAma maLyuM, temAM bIjI vastu sAthe mAchalInA pAuDara jevI vastu paNa hatI. temaNe tarata ja kaMpanIne lakhyuM ane bIjI vastuo ApIzuM paNa A mAchalIno pAuDara nahi ApIe. kaMpanIe badho ja sodo rada karyo. chatAM temaNe potAnI nIti jALavI. abhakSya khAvuM nahi to khavarAvavuM paNa kevI rIte ? temaNe puNya upara vizvAsa rAkhyo to puNya temanI pAse hAjara thayuM. tyArapachI temane ghaNA moTA vyApAranAM kAmo maLyAM. teo A lakhuM chuM tyAre ghaNA garbhazrImaMta sthitimAM che. samAjamAM agragaNya sthAna dharAve che. satkAryo karavAmAM AgaLa hoya che. teonA nivAse mAro utAro hoya, temanAM dharmapatnI jayAbahena gharamAM rahIne mUka sevA karatA. teo paNa dharmajijJAsAvALAM che. AthI temanA nivAsanuM nAma meM jayasomabhavana rAkheluM. - zrI somacaMdabhAI A lakhuM chuM tyAre hayAta nathI. 2004nA oNkTobara vibhAga-9 mArI maMgalayAtrA 246

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mAsamAM ekAeka hArTa eTekathI bAya-pAsa sarjarI thatAM thatAM ja teo pArthiva dehatyAga karI gayA. jIvana daramyAna ghaNI suvAsa mUkatA gayA che. temanI ciravidAya pachI have AphrikAnA dezomAM javAnuM banatuM nathI. vaLI vacamAM 1987nI AphrikAnA sudAnanI satsaMgayAtrA karI laIe. AphrikAnA sudAnanI satsaMgayAtrAmAM eka kaTokaTI : vaLI 1987mAM AphrikAnA sudAnanA mumukSuonuM, kobA AzramamAM AmaMtraNa AvyuM. pU. sAhebajIne anukULa na hatuM. teonI sUcanA mujaba mArI satsaMgayAtrAnuM Ayojana thayuM. sudAna, dazAlA vigere sthaLoe javAnuM hatuM. A deza hajI ghaNo pachAta che. A badhAM sthaLo eTale amadAvAdanA mAMDala-dahegAma jevAM gAmo. hajI koI jagyAe phalazanAM ToyaleTa paNa na hatAM. prajAmAM garIbAI kharI. bhAratavAsIo parizrama karI sArI sthitimAM rahetA. tyAM eka mAsa rokAI. satsaMgIoe sAro lAbha lIdho. mane tyAM eka takalIpha thaI. thoDA divasa pachI khorAka levo na game. gharo svaccha hatAM. rasoI svAdiSTa hatI. sauno prema hato. chevaTe meM sAMje jamavAnuM choDI dIdhuM. svAthya sAruM hatuM. peTamAM takalIpha na hatI. paNa AhAra pratye aruci thatI. AnuM kAraNa eka divasa maLI gayuM. ame koIne ghare jamavA mATe moTaramAM jatAM hatAM. gADI calAvanAra bhAIe eka zerImAM gADI lIdhI. tyAMthI pAchI vALatA hatA tyAM eka chokaro doDato Avyo. teNe kaMI pUchyuM, pelA bhAIe "nA' pADI. AthI meM pUchyuM zuM thayuM ? bhAI kahe te chokaro pUchato hato ke tamAre bakarI vigerenuM mAMsa joIe che ? tarata ja kApIne maLaze. huM to sAMbhaLI ja rahI ! pachI kahe te ja dukAne zAka, phaLa, phaLAdi maLe. A dezamAM eTalAM badhAM prANIo kapAya che ke, temanuM lohI khetaromAM vaparAya che. vadhelA vAsI mAMsa paNa khetaramAM khAtara thaIne naMkhAya che. mane AhAranI arucinuM kAraNa maLI gayuM. mAre to bahAranI rAMdhelI cIjono paNa tyAga hato. himAlayamAM to svayaM pAkI sAdhanA hatI. koInA hAthanuM rAMdheluM e divasomAM khAvAnuM nahi. AvI AhAra-viSayaka sUkSmatAne kAraNe kathaMcita azuddha AhAranI asara UpajavAnI saMbhAvanA hatI tema mane tyAMnA AhAramAM thayelI arucithI samajAyuM. - ekaMdare sudAna jevA vistAramAM paNa dharmanI rucivALA jIvono mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga 247

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sadUbhAva, svAdhyAyathI maLelo lAbha, temanA utsAhamAM vyakta thato hato. vaLI chellA divase lagabhaga baso uparAMta mumukSuoe AdarapUrvaka vidAyano kAryakrama saullAsa goThavyo hato. ane bheTamAM dareka vyaktie niyamo lIdhA hatA. keTalAke to vyasanamuktinA AjIvana niyama laIne jIvananA vikAsanI dizA pakaDI hatI. temAM eka bhAIe roje sAmAyikano niyama lIdho ke sAmAyika thAya pachI savAranI kaoNphI pIvI. tyAra pachI teo bhAratamAM himAlayanI yAtrAe gayA. pUrA divasanI basanI musApharI. temAM sAmAyika kevI rIte thAya ? e bhAIe manamAM mAruM smaraNa karyuM ane temanA aMtaramAM phuraNA thaI ke basamAM 1 kalAka mauna rAkhI navakAra gaNavA. jo tyAra pachI basa UbhI rahe tyAre kaoNphI maLe to mAnavuM ke pratijJAbhaMga thayo nathI. Ama maunamAM, jApamAM eka kalAka pUro thayo. samaya thatAM basa virAma mATe UbhI rahI. paNa tyAM kyAMya kaoNphI na maLI. bhAInI pratijJA pUrI na thaI te mATe ane kaoNphI na maLI tethI mUMjhAyA. chevaTe eka nAnI daTTI pAse gayA. tyAM kaoNphI maLI gaI. baMne rIte hAza thaI. amadAvAda mane maLavA AvyA. huM IDara hatI. tethI pelI pratijJAnA khulAsA mATe me mAsanA tApamAM bapore IDara AvyA. kahyuM ke pravAsamAM temaNe sAmAyikane badale A rIte mauna rAkhyuM te cAle ? agara to prAyazcitta Apo. mane temanI daDha bhAvanAthI AnaMda thayo. prAyazcittamAM teTalA sAmAyikathI bevaDA sAmAyikavALI ApavAnuM kahyuM. sAdhakonI A niSThAthI amane preraNA maLe che. vaLI mane zIkhavA maLyuM ke koI paNa pratijJA le tyAre daDhatAthI pALavI Avazyaka che tema anivArya saMyogomAM teno upAya paNa jaNAvavo. Ama dareka kSetre mumukSuonI bhAvanA AtmavikAsapreraka banatI jAya che. teno AnaMda che. laMDananI satsaMgayAtrA : agAu jaNAvyuM tema pU.zrI AtmAnaMdajInI preraNAthI sthapAyela zrImad rAjacaMdra sAdhanA kendra (AzramamAM) kobAmAM teonA sadUbhAva ane sahayogathI 198rathI teonI nizrAmAM nivRttinI sAdhanA karavAno avasara maLyo hato. e nivRttimAM yoga thayo pravRttino. eTale samAja-kalyANanAM kAmomAM je grAmavistAramAM pharavAnI nivRtti lIdhI hatI tene badale have dariyApAranA vistAranA paradezamAM zaheromAM pharavAno yoga thayo. vibhAga-9 mArI maMgalayAtrA 248

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pU.zrI AtmAnaMdajInI zrImad rAjacaMdranA kSetramAM khyAti hatI. AthI AzramamAM deza, paradezanA jijJAsuo satsaMga mATe AvatA hatA. 1984mAM AphrikAthI zrI somacaMdabhAI ane laMDanathI zrI nemubhAI caMdarayA sAthe sudhAbahena, vinubhAI ane keTalAka mumukSuo AvyA hatA. te saune pU. zrInuM sAnnidhya tathA saMsthAnI pUrA divasanI ArAdhanA tathA svAdhyAya ghaNAM rucI gayAM. AthI teoe 1984mAM sau prathama pU.zrInI satsaMgayAtrA yojI je sAnaMda saMpanna thaI. tyArapachI teoe pU. zrInI saMmati ane AdezathI 1984nA zrI paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanA mATe mane AmaMtraNa ApyuM. kAryakramanA Ayojana mATe ame sau AzramamAM beThAM hatAM. meM kahyuM. bhAI "mane aMgrejInA be-traNa zabdo AvaDe che. te sivAya kaMI AvaDatuM nathI. eTale mAre mATe tamArA dezamAM AvavuM te paNa ahIMthI ekalAM, te zakya nathI. nemubhAI kahe, ""tamAre aMgrejI bolavuM nahi paDe ane laMDananI phalAiTamAM tamane gujarAtI musApharono yoga maLI raheze." tamArA traNa zabdo theMkyu, sorI, helpa mI to ghaNA che. (sI hasI paDayAM.) Ama nivRttine badale pharavAno yoga nirmita hato ? ke manamAM, UMDANamAM hajI aMdara TharI javAnuM AMtarika baLa ekaThuM thayuM na hatuM ? nemubhAI ane sudhAbahenanA umaMga ane sadUbhAve mane prabhAvita karI, mArAmAM paradeza javAnuM sAhasa AvI gayuM. meM kahyuM, ""bhale, satsaMgano lAbha maLaze. tamArA sauno premasadUbhAva mArA manane AkarSe che. agara to have pharavuM nathI, TharavuM che. paraMtu tamArA utsAha ane Adara pratye mAruM mana jhUkI jAya che." laMDana satsaMgayAtrA nakkI thatAM AzramamAM paNa satsaMgI mitro utsAhamAM hatAM. pU. zrInI doravaNI mujaba vidAya avasara goThavAyo. pU. zrIe hArdika maMgaLa AziSa ApyA. saue zubhecchA pAThavI ane zubha divase ghare AvI. muMbaI prayANa karyuM. A saghaLuM evI rIte goThavAyuM ke mana taddana nizcita hatuM. vaLI paradezamAM pravacano ApavAnAM eTale manamAM tenA ciMtanano zubha pravAha cAlato hato. paradezanI laMDananI satsaMgayAtrA prathama vAra ja hatI. tethI te samaye tripuTIbaMdhu munio amadAvAdamAM hAjara hatA. temanI maMgaLa AziSa lIdhI ane pravacana mATe salAha mAgI. temaNe yogazAstra graMthanuM sUcana karyuM. vaLI temanI mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-9 249

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preraNA mujaba IDara rahIne AyaMbilatapa karI graMthano abhyAsa paNa karyo. Ama pUrvataiyArI karI lIdhI. laMDanamAM zrI parvAdhirAja paryuSaNanI ArAdhanA : nemubhAInA kahevA pramANe muMbaI nivAsI, AzramanA ArAdhaka (hAla sva.) zazIkAMtabhAI dhruva phalAITamAM cheka aMdara sudhI mUkI gayA. phalAITamAM thoDAka gujarAtIo hatA eTale manane dharapata rahI. phalAiTa moDI rAtre UpaDI. savAre pahoMcavAnI hatI. cAturmAsamAM ekAsaNAM cAlatAM hatAM. eTale kaMI khAvA-pIvAnuM hatuM nahi. savAre 9 vAge sukharUpa laMDananA hIthro eraporTa para pahoMcI. koI gujarAtI daMpatInI sAthe rahI sAmAna bahAra lIdho. TrolImAM mUkI bahAra nIkaLI ane sAme ja zrI nemubhAI, mInAbahena, sudhAbahena temanI maMDaLI sAthe vIseka mitro sasmita vadane AvakAravA hAjara hatAM. sukhaDanA hArathI ane madhura gItanA AvakArathI umaLakAbhera mAruM svAgata karyuM. huM paNa khUba AnaMdamAM AvI gaI. thAka to lAgyo ja na hato. vaLI satsaMgamAM thAka UtaravAno hato. mAro utAro mInA nemubhAI caMdarayAne tyAM hato. lagabhaga dasa vAge pahoMcyA. mitro sAthe haLavI vAto karI, prAtaH vidhi pUrNa karI. aMgata ArAdhanAno krama pUro karI ArAmathI divasa pUrNa thayo. laMDana, amerikA jevA dezomAM sau divase kAmamAM hoya. eTale satsaMga svAdhyAyanI sabhA rAtre 8 thI 10 vAge hoya. savizeSa laMDanamAM jainanI vastI najIkamAM vadhAre che. vaLI A kAryakrama vizeSa karIne zrImad rAjacaMdranA svAdhyAya maMDaLanA mAdhyamathI yojelo hato eTale savAre koI eka satsaMgInA nivAse 10 thI 12-30 svAdhyAya-bhakti thatAM. ane tyAM ja svAmIvAtsalya thatuM. lagabhaga 50 thI 70 jevA satsaMgIo lAbha letA, so 2 vAge vidAya thatAM hatAM. te cAturmAsanA divaso hovAthI mAre ekAsaNA hoya tenI vyavasthA sau premathI jALavI letA. savAranA vizeSa karIne zarUAtamAM bhakti pachI zrImad rAjacaMdra vacanAmRtano svAdhyAya thato. zrotAgaNa temAM abhyAsI hato. tethI svAdhyAyamAM ghaNuM bodhadAyaka tattva pragaTa thatuM hatuM. temAM 128 ane 254 nA patramAM hRdayanA tAra halI UThe tevo bodha hato. te divase saue jIvananI dhanyatA anubhavI. sAthe sAthe samajamAM AvyuM ke ghaNuM gumAvyuM che. have jAgavAnuM che. vibhAga mArI maMgalayAtrA ra5O

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rAtre 8 thI 10 svAdhyAya navanAtabhavana haoNlamAM thato. jemAM 300 jevA zrotAo hAjara rahetA. prAraMbhamAM mAMgalika-bhakti thatI. pachI yogazAstranuM vAMcana thatuM. yogazAstramAM mokSamArgamAM kema joDAvuM tenI mukhyatAthI bodha ane kathA hatI. te kathAomAM saune saraLatAthI bodha prApta thato. tyAra pachI mAganusAritAnA guNothI graMthakAre sacoTa bodha ApI krame bAra vrata ane Akhare dhyAnanI prakriyA batAvI, potAnA anubhavano prakAza pragaTa karyo che. te saune lAbhadAyaka nIvaDyo. zrI kalpasUtrano svAdhyAya : zrI paryuSaNa parvamAM zrI kalpasUtrano svAdhyAya lIdho hato. A dezamAM sau prathama ja zrI kalpasUtranuM pUruM vAMcana thayuM. prAraMbhamAM savAre zrAvakanA kartavya ane RSabhadevAdinAM cAritronuM vAcana thatuM. rAtre bhagavAna mahAvIranA bodhadAyaka sattAvIza bhavanuM vAcana thatuM. A pravacanonI asara ghaNI sArI UpajI. sAthe sAthe e divasomAM tapanI ArAdhanA thaI hatI. vaLI zrAvako sahelAIthI zrI kalpasUtranuM vAMcana karI zake te AzayathI sva. zrI caMcaLabahena zAMtilAla mahetAnA nAnA putra kumudacaMdra ane sudhAnI sahAyathI "zrI kalpasUtra kathAsAra' gRhasthanI maryAdAmAM vAMcI zakAya te rIte prasiddha karavAmAM AvyuM hatuM. tyArapachI tenI sAta AvRttiomAM vRddhi sAthe daseka hajAra nakalo prasiddha thaI. caMcaLabahena vayovRddha paNa dareka dharmasabhAmAM hAjara rahe. jamavAmAM sAthe ja bese. dhIme rahIne tharmosa khole ane mane premathI rAbaDI pIrase. tyAre mane khabara paDI ke rojanI rAbaDI eka ja sarakhI kema hoya che? tyArathI meM temanuM nAma badalyuM. caMcaLabA nahi paNa caMdanabA. teo mane mA" kahetAM. huM temane "bA" kahetI. pUrA pacIsa divasano kAryakrama hato. kAryakramanuM saMpUrNa Ayojana zrI nemubhAI khUba vyavasthitapaNe karatA. eka mahinA pahelAM Ayojana saune maLI jatuM. dareka divasano pUro kAryakrama, sthaLa, samaya sarva vigata saune ApavAmAM AvatAM. te pramANe zistabaddha krama jaLavAto. amadAvAdathI nIkaLe tyAMthI phalAITanI TikiTa javA-AvavAnI kAranI suvidhA. laMDana eraporTa para paga mUkayo ane dareka kalAkano vyavasthita krama nemubhAInA komyuTara mAInDamAM goThavAyelo hoya. chatAM koI dekhAva ke ADaMbara nahi. koIne kAma batAvavAne badale jAte ja karI le. laMDanamAM anya sthaLe javA-AvavAmAM sAthe ja hoya, agara anya mitronI sAthe mArI maMgalayAtrA 251 vibhAga-9

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suvyavasthita goThavI de. sudhAbahena vinubhAI to chAyAnI jema sAthe ja hoya. teo abhyAsI paNa kharAM, eTale aMgata satsaMga goSThi paNa thatI rahetI. eka divasa nirAMtano hato. sudhAbahena mane kahe : cAlo pharavA jaIe. meM kahyuM ke mane evI ruci nathI. vaLI A vizvamAM keTalA cakkara lagAvyA che, have javA do. paNa temano ghaNo Agraha, eTale nIkaLyAM. amuka jagyAe pahoMcyAM ke gADI ja baMdha paDI. keme karI te cAle nahi. teo kahe soLa varSamAM gADI prathama vAra baMdha paDI che. meM kahyuM ke gADIe mArI vAta svIkArI, ke pharavAmAM kaMI maLavAnuM nathI. sau hasI paDayAM. pachI ame TreInamAM ghera AvyAM. sudhAbahena vacanAmRtanAM abhyAsI che, e khabara hatI. paNa rAMdhaNakaLAmAM kazaLa che te to temane tyAM ekAsaNuM karavA beThI tyAre khabara paDI. lagabhaga 2022 cIjo banAvI hatI. mAre amuka cIjono niyama hato. meM samajAvyuM ke Aje to zakya teTalo nyAya ApIza. paNa have darekane sUcanA Apajo ke ATha dasa cIjathI vadhu na banAve. tame keTalI mahenata karo, eTalAM vAsaNo sApha karavAnAM, ghaNo zrama paDe. saune vAta barAbara lAgI. nemubhAIe saune e rIte sUcanA ApI. mAro prIti-vAtsalyabhAva ane mitrono AdarabhAva-sevA subhagayogamAM ghaNA jIvo, dharmamArgamAM pravezyA. jemano kaMI ruci-praveza hato te vRddhi pAmyo. satsagayAtrA saune AnaMda-preraNAmUlaka nIvaDI. A divasomAM nAIrobIthI zrI somacaMdabhAI khAsa satsaMga mATe AvyA hatA. vaLI ravivAra to jANe moTo utsava hoya tema koI satsaMgInA ghare savAre 10-30 thI pa-30 ArAdhanA (zibira) Ayojana thAya. so jevA jijJAsuo pUro divasa sAthe rahI satsaMga mANe. vaLI sAuthamAM lesTaramAM ane anyatra paNa satsaMga-pravacanonuM ane zibiranuM Ayojana thayuM hatuM. Ama pacIsa divasa pUrA thayA. nemubhAIne tyAM te divase vidAyano kAryakrama hato. saunAM hRdaya bhAvabhInAM hatAM. koI bahene vidAyanuM gIta gAyuM. saue jhIlyuM. jAgo jAgo jagADanAra AvI gayA." gIta pUruM thayuM. meM paNa gadgadita kaMThe saunI khUba ja bhAvabharI vidAya mAMgI. sva-para zreyano AnaMda vyakta karyo. saunAM hRdaya to bhIMjAyelAM hatAM. ane saunAM netroye sajaLa banI gayA chatAM sau premabhAva chUTAM paDyAM. yAdagAra satsagayAtrAnI vibhAga mArI maMgalayAtrA rapara

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pUrNAhuti thaI. meM bheTa jevo vyavahAra rAkhyo na hato chatAM saunA premavaza kaMIka bheTano svIkAra karyo. nemubhAI kahe : ""tamAro bheTa nahi levAno niyama che ne ? amAro ApavAno niyama che." bIje divase savAre bhAvabharI vidAya lIdhI. je bIjA varSanI yAtrAnA Ayojana sAthe hatI. 1985nI satsagayAtrAnA svAdhyAya ane zrI paryuSaNaparvanI ArAdhanAnI apUrvatA saune sparzI thaI. eTale tarata ja bIjA varSanuM zrI paryuSaNa ArAdhanAnuM Ayojana paNa teoe nakkI karI dIdhuM. kobA sAdhanA kendramAM zrI paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanA mATe pU. zrInI hAjarI anivArya hovAthI 1984 pachInA 1988 sudhI dara varSe zrI nemubhAI vigerenA AyojanathI zrI paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanA mATe mAre javAnuM thatuM hatuM. zrI paryuSaNamAM kalpasUtra-vAMcana ane anya divasomAM zAstra-vAMcana thatuM. vaLI roja savAre zrImad rAjacaMdrajI vacanAmRta ane bhakti koI satsaMgIonA nivAse thatI. AvA vividha AyojanathI saune saMtoSa thato. pravacano lokabhogya banatAM hovAthI keseTo UtaratI ane tenA AdhAre te pravacanonuM pustaka saMsthA dvArA prakAzita thatuM. te prakAzanano artha-sahayoga laMDananA satsaMgI mitrono raheto. Ama 1988 sudhI ArAdhanA ane satsaMga yAtrA anyAya lAbhadAyI nIvaDI. zrI nemubhAI caMdarayAnuM kuzaLa vyaktitva : zrI nemubhAI caMdarayA mULa jAmanagaranA vatanI che. dhaMdhArthe AphrikAnA dezomAM rahyA hatA. tyAra pachI hAla laMDanamAM sthira thayA che. joke vyApArArthe anya dezomAM teono pravAsa niraMtara thato hoya che. svabaLe arthopArjana tathA ujvaLa kArakirdImAM ghaNA nipuNa che. teo mitabhASI che. ghaNuM bolavAne badale te te kArya kaMI saMkoca vagara karI levAmAM haMmezAM tatpara hoya che. teo 1984mAM zrI rA.A.sA.kendramAM pU. zrInI nizrAmAM laMDananA anya mumukSuo sAthe satsaMga mATe AvyA hatA. te saune AzramanI praNAlI, pU. zrInAM pravacano, mAro svAdhyAya vigere rucI gayAM. te ja divasomAM teo saue nirNaya karyo ke pU. zrInI satsaMgayAtrA laMDananAM vividha sthAnomAM yojavI. Ama, nemubhAI A kAryanA paNa pArakhu che te anubhava thayo. laMDananA nivAsa daramyAna temanI kAryakuzaLatA, sevAbhAva sAthe mArI maMgalayAtrA 253 vibhAga-9

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sauno sahakAra chatAM zistabaddhatA, udAratA vigeremAM temanI pratibhA pragaTa thatI. vyApArakAryo chatAM dareka kAmanI temanA magajamAM samayasara thavAnI noMdha paDI hoya. teo te divasomAM mArA pUrA kAryakramanI, svAthyanI, AhArAdinI vyavasthAnI evI kALajI rAkhatA ke mane temanA para hArdika vAtsalyabhAva Avato. sAthe sAthe teo mArA parivAra sAthe kauTumbika sabhyanI jema nikaTatA dharAve che. amadAvAda Ave tyAre teo ane temanAM patnI mInAbahena amArA nivAse ja rahetAM hoya che. mArA putraputravadhu-atula-2monA sAthe temanI nikaTanI mitratA che. vaLI teoe vizvavyApI kAryanI bhAvanAthI pavazrI kumArapALa desAInA sahayogathI amadAvAdamAM jainaoNlojI saMsthAnuM nirmANa karyuM che. te dvArA teo vizALatAthI aneka pravRttio karavAnuM yazanAma dharAve che. bolavuM ochuM ane karavuM ghaNuM e temanI prakRti che. AvAM anekavidha kSetromAM, dezavidezamAM temanI vividha sevAkAryanI kadara karIne briTiza sarakAre te dezamAM sau prathama temane evaoNrDa Apyo che..... ophisara oNpha briTiza empAyara" (0.B.E.) amArI laMDananI satsaMga yAtrAnA saMyojaka hovAthI temano paricaya Apavo e mAruM kartavya che. laMDananAM sudhAbahena vinubhAI zAhano sAttvika yoga : agAu jaNAvyuM tema kobAnA zrImad rAjacaMdra AzramamAM laMDananA mumukSuo satsagayAtrAe AvyA hatA. tyAM pU. sAhebajIne ane mArA svAdhyAyanuM zravaNa karI teo prasanna thayA. temAM nemubhAI caMdarayA ane sudhAbahena vinubhAI mukhya saMcAlaka hatAM. temaNe amane laMDana svAdhyAya mATe AmaMtraNa ApyuM. sudhAbahena svayaM vacanAmRtanA abhyAsI che. jIvana sAduM, sAttvika che, svabhAve zraddhAvAna ane namra che. mArI sAthe paricaya thatAM amArI mitratA saghana thaI hatI. nirdoSatAthI ame carcAvicAraNA karatAM. teo mane vaDIla tarIke Adara ApatAM. khUba utsAhathI sAthe ja rahetAM. pote svayaM sArA svAdhyAyakAra che. hAla teo laMDanathI nivRtta thaI sAyalAmAM ArAdhanA kare che. vaLI laMDanamAM sthiratA karI svAdhyAyanI sva-para zreyarUpa pravRtti jALavI rAkhI che. varSonAM vahANAM vAyAM paraMtu satsaMganA mAdhyamathI thayelA paricayanI vibhAga-9 ra54 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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smRti prasannatA Ape che tethI kaMIka lakhavA prerAI chuM. laMDanamAM mArI sAteka varSanI satsagayAtrAmAM temaNe ghaNI sevA karI hatI te kema bhulAya? teno badalo eTale temanI sAttvika smRti che. zrI sametazikharajInI saullAsa cirasmaraNIya yAtrA (1986/87): laMDanamAM pUjyazrInI tathA mArI satsagayAtrA yojAtI. tenI phalazrutimAM zrI nemubhAI tathA temanA sAthIoe zrI sametazikharanI yAtrAnuM Ayojana pU.zrInI nizrAmAM karyuM hatuM. cha mAsa pahelAM zArIrika tapAsathI mAMDIne "e Tu jheDa' sudhIno suvyavasthita kAryakrama nemubhAInI sakuzaLatApUrvaka taiyAra thayo. laMDanathI cAlIsa yAtriko AvavAnA hatA. ane pU.zrInA Azrama vigerethI cAlIsa yAtriko joDAIne lagabhaga eMsI jevA yAtrALuono saMgha thayo hato. nAIrobIthI zrI somacaMdabhAI tathA jayAbahena paNa joDAyAM hatAM. saMsthAnA pramukhazrI jayaMtabhAI ane TrasTI sva. zrI zazIkAMtabhAIe suMdara vyavasthA karI hatI. pU.zrIne kalakattA svAdhyAya satsaMganA kAryakramo hovAthI teo pAMceka divasa pahelAM nIkaLI kalakattA pahoMcyA hatA. tyAre huM ghATakopara pravacana mATe gaI hatI. tyAM jayaMtabhAI ane zazIkAMtabhAI mane maLyA. teo kahe : laMDanavALA mumukSuo Ave tyAre temanI sAthe tamAre ke pU.zrI koIe yAtrAmAM sAthe rahevuM joIe. meM kahyuM mane kaMI A aMge khabara nathI. mane pU.zrIe kaMI kahyuM nathI. ane huM to be mAsa pahelAM sametazikharajInI yAtrA karI AvI chuM. eTale mArI IcchA nathI. teo kahe : ""to paNa sAheba nathI eTale tamAre AvavuM joIe. vaLI nemubhAI vigerenuM tamane AmaMtraNa to che ja." mane thayuM ke pharaja tarIke javAnuM che, vaLI mane yAtrAno lAbha maLaze. laMDananA satsaMgI mitro sAtheno paricaya hato eTale AnaMda Avaze. Ama vicArI huM yAtrAe javA taiyAra thaI. jayaMtabhAIe anya yAtrikone taiyAra karyA. mukarara divase ame muMbaIthI yAtrAe javA nIkaLyAM eka pUrI bogI e.sI.vALI laMDananA yAtrikonI hatI ane bIjI bogI muMbaInA yAtrikonI hatI. bhojanAdinI suvyavasthA sahita Ayojana hatuM. TreinamAM lagabhaga chatrIsa kalAka gALavAnA hatA. meM saheje ja kAryakrama kahyo ke bhale TreIna che paNa tame laMDanathI Avo cho. phakta tera mArI maMgalayAtrA ra55 vibhAga-9

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divasano A lhAvo che. ApaNe samayano pUro upayoga karIe. AthI rAtre eka kalAka bhakti-ArAdhanA karI. savAre 5-30 vAge UThIne bhaktimauna-ArAdhanA karI, prabhAtika anya kAryo ATopI sI 10 vAge taiyAra thayAM. sITanI upara, nIce, vacamAM ema amArI dharmasabhA goThavAI gaI. 10 thI 12 svAdhyAya karAvyo. pachI vaLI bapore 3-30 thI 5 svAdhyAya, satsaMga, rAtre bhakti. Ama TreinanA samayano saduupayoga thayo. te pramANe jayAM jayAM basamAM gayA te pramANe satsaMga-bhakti thatAM hatAM. temAM e saunI rucino prabhAva hato. yAtrAnAM sthaLoe saullAsa darzana-pUjana thatAM. kolakatAthI pU.zrI sAthe thayA, eTale temanAM bhakti-svAdhyAyano lAbha maLato rahyo. zrI sametazikharajImAM eka divasa uparanI yAtrAmAM darzana-pUjanano lAbha lIdho. pArzvanAthanI TuMkamAM bhakti karI. khUba ja bhAvabharyA dayathI, dhuna gAtAM gAtAM nIce UtaratAM hatAM. eka divasa nIcenA derAsaramAM aSTaprakArI pUjA thaI. zrI digaMbara maMdiramAM ke jyAM samaya hoya tyAM pU.zrIno svAdhyAya thato. pUrI yAtrA hArdika bhaktibhAvathI AnaMdapUrvaka saMpanna thaI. laMDananA samUhanI vyavasthA nemubhAI vigere nipuNatAthI karatA. 4) yAtrALu, darekanA traNa muddA, 125 uparAMta muddA sTezana para khaDakAya. garabo gAvAno hoya tema sau sAmAnanI AjubAju goLa garabo karI le. sAmAna UpaDe pachI garabo mukta thAya. AhArAdimAM paNa vyavasthita hAra. baMdha sau goThavAI jatAM. pU.zrInI ane mArI thALI pirasAya pachI anya yAtriko thALI para goThavAya evA vivekanAM darzana thayAM. muMbaI yAtrikonI vyavasthA jayaMtabhAI saMbhALatA hatA. vaLI zrI somacaMdabhAI jayAbahene zrI sametazikharanI prajAne sADI, dhAbaLo, anAjanuM vyavasthita vitaraNa karyuM hatuM. rAjagRhImAM virAyatanamAM rahyA tyAMnI vyavasthA mANI ane saMsthA darzana karyA. prabhunI nirvANanI pAvanabhUmi pAvApurImAM sAMje AratImAM to sau evAM magna thaI gayAM ke AratInAM pado be vAra cUMTAtA rahyAM saunA manamAM alaukika bhAvanAno anubhava thayo. Ama, yAtrA cirasmaraNIya banI tethI ahIM saheje ullekha thayo. vibhAga-9 256 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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pU. zrI sonejI sAthe madrAsa, beMgalora taraphanI satsagayAtrA : madrAsamAM pU.zrInA cAhako, savizeSa vasaMtabahenanA parivAre svAdhyAya-satsaMganuM Ayojana karyuM hatuM. temanA hRdayanA bhaktibhAva prazaMsanIya hatA ane Aje paNa che. amAro utAro, AhArAdinI sapramANa vyavasthA, niyamita pU.zrInA svAdhyAyanuM Ayojana vigere A parivAre premapUrvaka saMpanna karyuM hatuM. moTI saMkhyAmAM saue pU. zrInA svAdhyAyano lAbha lIdho. e svAdhyAya ghaNA marmasparzI hatA. eka nAnA sthaLe mArA svAdhyAya rAkhyA hatA. tyAM eka bAra varSanA bALakano mane hRdayaMgama anubhava thayo. te bALaka roje AgaLa AvIne bese (nAma yAda nathI). eka vAra meM pUchayuM ke tane A badhuM samajAya che? "badhuM samajAya nahi, paNa AnaMda Ave che. tame mane tamAruM A jJAna Apo ne !" tane kevI rIte samajAyuM ke A jJAna che ? e to mArA manamAM mane samajAya che, tame mAre ghare cAlo. mane jJAna Apo." ame ene ghare gayA. tenA mA kahe : ene bALapaNathI A saMskAro che. karmagraMtha jevA zAstrono abhyAsa karavo game. ramatagamatamAM tenuM dhyAna ochuM rahe che. amArA karatAM tenI bhAvanA UMcI che. meM ene kahyuM, tuM bhajana gA pachI jJAna ApuM.' tamane kevI rIte samaja paDI ke mane bhajana gAtAM AvaDe che ?" "tane jema jJAnanI samaja paDIne tema mane bhajananI samaja paDI." teNe madhura bhAvathI gAyuM : ""akhiyAM haridarzananI pyAsI." ame sau tenA bhajanamAM lIna thaI gayA. thoDI vAra mauna prasarI gayuM. tenI jJAna viSenI gaMbhIratA joI meM tene ahiMsA, satya, acaurya, Indriya saMyama ane alpaparigrahanA mAdhyamathI jJAnaparicaya Apyo. alpaparigrahanI vAtamAM meM kahyuM: tArI pAse pensila jevAM sAdhano jUnAM thAya te tAre jarUriyAtavALAM bALakone ApI devAM. te kahe: "e bALako pAse jUnAM paNa hotAM nathI to pachI zA mATe ApaNe temane navAM ja na ApavAM ?" meM tarata ja mArA kAna pakaDyA : "beTA, tArI vAta sAcI che. navAM ja Apaje. huM paNa ema karIza." Ama guru maLe che. pachI kahe : huM mAmA sAthe arUNAcalama gayo hato. tyAMnA badhA ja mArI maMgalayAtrA ra57 vibhAga-9

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paththaro para mane prabhudarzana thatAM hatAM. mane thayuM ApaNe pAlItANA ""kAMkare kAMkare anaMtAsiddhA" bolIe tyAre AvuM thAya che? Ama, pUrvanA ArAdhaka jIvomAM bALaka chatAM paNa ApaNane guNonI UMcAInAM darzana thAya che. zrImad rA.sA. kendra, kobAnI nivRttimAM zubhadhyAnamAM sthiratA, cittaprasannatAno kvacit anubhavayoga : taddana prAraMbhamAM pU. AcAryazrIe jainadarzanano mahAmaMtra navakAra mArI bhUmikA pramANe jApa rUpe Apyo hato. te gaNAto rahyo. tene pannAlAla gAMdhIe opa Apyo ke A to svarUpamaMtra che. maMtra ghUMTAto jAya ane svarUpa-anusaMdhAna thatuM jAya. Ama navakAramaMtranI zraddhA hatI ja. vaLI AcAryazrIe tene vadhu zraddhAyukta karyo. vaLI zrImadjIe prakAyuM che ke : "zubha bhAva vaDe mana zuddha karo, navakAra mahA padane samaro, nahI eha samAna sumaMtra kaho, bhajIne bhagavaMta bhavaMta laho." (zrImadjInAM sthAnomAM bhale A maMtranI gauNatA thatI rahI paNa vAstavikatA A che.) A maMtra mArA citta para aMkita hato, temAM vaccenA gALAmAM dhyAna-maunanI zibirothI sthiratAno abhyAsa puSTa thayo hato. teno prayoga cAlu hato, jyAre manamAM tenI bhAvanA UThe manAdi yoga goThavAI jAya upayoga sthiratA pakaDato. rAta ho, ardhI rAta ho gurukRpA hatI. sAdhanA kendranuM paMdara varSa pahelAM Aja karatAM vAtAvaraNa zAMta hatuM. lokavI alpa hatI. ramya ane raLiyAmaNuM to hatuM ane che. pU.zrInA bodha vacano, jijJAsuonI zubhabhAvanAthI eka vAyumaMDaLa racAtuM hoya. tenAM spaMdano vikharAtAM hoya, tyAre sAdhakane tenI sahAya-AlaMbana maLI rahe che. A jIvane himAlayamAM, IDara jevAM sthAnomAM Avo abhyAsa hato tethI A kendramAM paNa A prayoga thato. zArIrika avasthA paNa Asanane yogya rahetI. AthI koI vAra agAsI ke rAtre bahAra medAnamAM dhyAnamAM javAnuM sulabha banatuM. - navakAra maMtra, bhAvanA, zvAsa sAthe jApathI A dhyAnano prAraMbha thatAM, anukrame nIrava zAMtino laya mAvato. vacamAM mUkeluM avalaMbana vibhAga-9 mArI maMgalayAtrA ra58

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pakaDAtuM. vaLI koI saMskAra jora karIne bahAra laI jato tyAre alpa samayamAM avalaMbanathI vaLI sthiratA AvatI, ghaNI vAra AvA anubhavathI cittamAM prasannatAno anubhava smRti para lAMbo samaya Takato. AthI evuM samajAya che ke te samayanI cittazuddhi jIvana para aMdarabahAra prakAza ApatI rahI che. AvI eka prakAranI sUkSmatA AvatAM, zAstrabodha saraLatAthI samajAto, koI prasaMgonuM prathamathI ja samAdhAna thaI jatuM. dareka prasaMge vyaktio pratye samAdhAna rahetuM. apUrNatA to che ja chatAM Atma-avalaMbananI zraddhAnuM baLa vRddhi pAmatuM. tyAre koI vAra ema thatuM ke A prayoga anyane paNa batAvavA jevo che. kyAMka prayatna karatI paraMtu vaLI ema thatuM ke evuM bahAranuM kartutva zA mATe ? hajI paripakvatA thavA do. TUMkamAM kyAreka AvA prayoga vagara paNa aMtara AnaMda-prasannatAthI bharAI jatuM. te pachI sAmAyika ho, koI prasaMga ho, ekAMta ho ke lokasamUhamAM ho. AvI vAtono visphoTa na karavo tevuM zikSaNa hovAthI te manamAM ja samAyeluM rahetuM je vadhu lAbhadAyI banatuM. Aje A gurukRpA varasatI rahI che jethI e anubhUti jaLavAI che. sthiratA, sUkSmatA ane zuddhinI vRddhi anubhavAya che. zrImad rAjacaMdra AdhyAtmika sAdhanA kendra, kobAthI nivRtti : (1988-1989). vAcako ! tame joyuM ke mArI maMgalayAtrAnAM cakro pharatAM badalAtAM rahe che, tene yAtrA kahevAya ne ? athavA mAno ke vikAsanA e gUDha rahasyo che. mAruM dhyeya AtmadarzananA bIjanuM vavAyeluM eTale bahAranA sthAna badalAya paNa aMtaradhvani jaLavAyo che. vaLI te te nimitto je samaye banatA hoya che, tyAM koI sthAna ke vyaktinI kSati nathI, paraMtu RNa che tema mAnyuM che, leNadeNa che. A kendramAM 1982mAM pU. zrInA sadUbhAvathI praveza thayo hato. pU.zrInI nizrAmAM mArI ArAdhanA thatI hatI. vaLI teonI ja preraNAthI AphrikA tathA laMDananI satsaMgayAtrA yojAI hatI. tyAMnA svAdhyAya vigere sAnaMda saMpanna thatA. vaLI dareka vakhate te te pravacanonI pustikA te satsaMgIonA artha sahayogathI pragaTa thatI. AthI mane evo utsAha ke saMsthAnA sAhityakSetre kArya thAya che. temAM te vakhatanA saMsthAnA mAsikanA saMcAlaka zrI haribhAI paNa utsAhathI A kArya pUruM karatA. Ama traNamArI maMgalayAtrA 259 vibhAga-9

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cAra pustako prakAzita thayAM, te saMsthAnA grAhako ane cAhako sudhI pahoMcyA. yadyapi temAM tattvabodha gauNa hato te hakIkata sAcI hatI. AthI TrasTIgaNane lAgyuM have A kAma mulatvI rAkhavuM. hamaNAM ghaNAM pustakonuM prakAzana thayuM che. tyAre vaLI koI prakAzana mATe mAMgaNI AvatI. te vakhate TrasTagaNanA abhiprAya mujaba prakAzana pratibaMdhita hatuM. mane paNa te vAta samajAI ke kendramAM rahIne tenI praNAlI pramANe kArya hovuM joIe. vaLI tyAre samAjakalyANamAM kAma cAlu hatuM tethI e pustaka te saMsthA dvArA pragaTa thayuM. sAmAjika kArya kuzaLatAthI kareluM eTale paNa evo utsAha kharo ke kaMI vizeSa ArAdhanA karIe. te vakhate AyaMbilatapanI oLI hatI. pU.zrIne vAta karI ke A tapa yathAzakti sau karIe. pachI to saunA utsAhathI pUrI vidhi sahita e tapa thayuM. yadyapi te zvetAMbara AmnAya pramANe hatuM. temAM mAro Agraha na hato. vaLI pU. zrI paNa vizALa dRSTiyukta hatA chatAM AmAM temanI pUrI sUcanA levAne badale mArA utsAhathI Ayojana thayuM. temAM kendranI praNAlInI zista sacavAI nahi hoya tevuM TrasTIgaNane lAgyuM. te mane pachI samajAyuM. khera. mArA svAdhyAya paNa zvetAMbara AmnAya para vadhu AdhArita rahetA. teno mane Agraha na hato paraMtu mAro zAstrAbhyAsa te paddhatino hato. mane zrI vacanAmRta ke anya sAhityano abhyAsa kharo paraMtu digaMbara zAstro anvaye tAtvika abhyAsa nahivat hato. mane teno UMDo khyAla nahi. AthI pU.zrIe eka vAra sUcana karyuM ke tamAre hamaNAM svAdhyAya mulatavI rAkhavo, vaLI bIjA svAdhyAyakAro hamaNAM che. tame tattvadaSTinAM zAstrono abhyAsa karo te jarUrI che. pU. zrInI vAta lAbhadAyI hatI. paNa mane te vakhate tevI rUci pedA na thaI. vaLI 1988mAM teozrInA janmadine pU.zrIe AzramArthIo mATe samarpaNa vidhi' jAhera karI temAM keTalIka pratijJAo hatI. je pALavI mane mAre mATe zakya na lAgI. mAro saMskAra paMcaparameSThi ane cAra zaraNano hato. vaLI meM hajI koInA gurupadane dhAraNa kareluM nahi tethI mane A samarpaNa bhAva UThyo nahi. guru pratye ziSyanI samarpaNatA hovI sAdhanakSetramAM jarUrI che paNa mArI mAnyatA paMcaparameSThi pratyenI hatI. AvAM kAraNothI eka savAre zAMta citte nirNaya karyo ke AzramamAM rahevuM to tenI zista ane praNAlIthI rahevuM agara mukta thavuM. AthI vibhAga-9 260 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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pU.zrI pAse jaI meM mArA nivAse javA rajA mAMgI. nivRttinI vAta karI na hatI. te pAchaLathI jAhera thaI. te divase jema saMsthAomAMthI koI samAraMbha vagara nivRtta thatI hatI tema A kendrathI 1988nA aMtamAM maunabhAve mukta thaI. pU.zrIne kSamApanA patra mokalI sAthe teonA saddabhAvano AbhAra mAnI lIdho hato. - zrImad rAjacaMdra AdhyAtmika sAdhanA kendrathI nivRtta thayA pachI 1991 92mAM be varSa laMDananI satsaMgayAtrA yojAI hatI. chellAM pAMca varSathI laMDana, AphrikAnA svAdhyAya-satsaMgathI sau paricita hatAM. 1991mAM amadAvAda nivAsI suzIlAbahena ramezacaMdra zAha jeo dhaMdhArthe velInabaro rahyAM hatAM. tyAre temaNe potAnA nivAse zrI paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanAnuM Ayojana karyuM hatuM. saMkhyA alpa hatI paraMtu jijJAsuvRttivALA hovAthI zrI prazamaratigraMthanuM adhyayana karyuM hatuM. jemAM saune vairAgyanuM mUlya samajamAM AvyuM, jIvanadaSTi maLI. 1992mAM lesTaranA derAsaranA saMgha dvArA zrI paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanAnuM Ayojana karavAmAM AvyuM hatuM. amAro utAro zrI naTubhAI tathA bhAnubahenane tyAM hato. zrI paryuSaNa parvamAM zrI kalpasUtranuM vAMcana karavAmAM AvatuM hatuM. anya divasomAM navatattvano abhyAsa karavAmAM Avyo hato. jemAM te saue prathama ja vAra navatattvanI samaja meLavI hatI. 1992nA lesTaranA kAryakrama daramyAna enTavarpamAM zrI rAkezabhAI jhaverInA sUcanathI enTavarpanA jijJAsuoe sAta divasano satsaMgano kAryakrama rAkhyo hato. lagabhaga jijJAsuonA nivAse kAryakrama thato. temAM zrImad rAjacaMdra vacanAmRtanuM vAMcana thatuM. temAM prazna thayelo ke bhakti karavI ke pratikramaNa karavuM ? sAmAyika kaI vidhithI karavuM ? meM kahyuM : "mokSamALAnA pAThamAM ghaNAM anuSThAnomAM A traNa anuSThAna mUkyAM che. tamAre samayocita, saMskAra pramANe traNenI ArAdhanA karavI jarUrI che. jema tame vastro pahero tyAre je mukhya traNa paheratA hoya temAMthI kevuM vastra varSa karavuM ? traNe vadhu jarUrI che ne ? tevI rIte AhAramAM amuka vastu, masAlA jarUrI che ne ? temAM gauNa mukhyatA thaI zake paraMtu Avazyaka che tene kema choDAya ! bhale bhakti Adi Avazyaka karaNI che. jo kapAya-viSaya maMda mArI maMgalayAtrA 261 vibhAga-9

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karavA che to bhakti jarUrI che. vItarAganI bhakti vairAgya pedA kare to viSaya-kaSAya maMda paDe ne ! rojanA gRhastha jIvanamAM hiMsAdi, rAgAdi, IrSA, nidA jevAM pApo thAya che ? "hA', to pachI pAparUpI malane dUra karavA pratikramaNa jarUrI kharuM ke nahi ? pApa karatA raho ane tenA pratikramaNane badale kevaLa vAMcana ke dhyAna kevI rIte thAya ? zrImadjIe kahyuM che ke "satsaMga vagara dhyAna taraMgarUpa che' mokSamALAmAM, divasa-rAtanA baMne pratikramaNa karavAnAM kahyAM che te temanI AjJArUpa che. vaLI mokSamALAmAM sAmAyikanA traNa pATho che, vAMcyA che ? nathI vAMcyA ne ? vAMco, to A praznanuM nirAkaraNa tame svayaM karI zako. samabhAvarUpI svabhAvamAM javA A sAmAyika che, je mokSanuM prathama caraNa che. zrImadjIe pATha-34 vigeremAM prakAyuM che ke "Atmazaktino prakAza karanAra, samyagudarzanano udaya karanAra, zuddha samAdhi bhAvamAM praveza karAvanAra, nirjarAno amUlya lAbha ApanAra, rAgadveSathI madhyasthabuddhi karanAra evuM sAmAyika nAmanuM zikSAvrata che. vidhipUrvaka sAmAyika na thAya e bahu khedakAraka che ane karmanI bAhulyatA che. asaMkhyAtA divasathI bharelA anaMtA kALacakra vyatIta karatAM paNa je sArthaka na thayuM te be ghaDInI vizaddha sAmAyika sArthaka kare che." have tamAre ja nirNaya karavAno che. vidhi mATe tamane je saMskAra hoya te pramANe karo. zvetAMbarano hoya to te vidhithI karo. sthAnakavAsI hoya te vidhithI, digaMbara hoya to te vidhi. eke vAsI na hoya to (sutro zIkho) traNa navakAra gaNIne 48 miniTa svastha citte beso. Asana rAkhavuM khAsa jarUrI che. sAmAyikamAM navakAramaMtra gaNAya. zAstravAMcana thAya. sUtro gokhAya, ciMtana thAya. pramAda na karavo ane saullAsa karavuM. cAlo AjathI ja niyamane ! AnaMda ho, maMgaLa ho. Ama enTavarpanI yAtrA paNa sAnaMda-saMpanna rahI. have ApaNe amerikAnI satsaMgayAtrAmAM maLazuM. sAmAyika e AtmA ja che. sAmAyikano marma samabhAvanI mukhyatAno che. cittanI rAgAdi bhAva rahita sama sthiti te sAmAyika che. temAM madhurarasa, samAnarasa ane darzanAdi traNe bhAvanI pracuratA che. vidhi phakata sthiratA mATe. samabhAva e ja AtmAnuM chUpuM amRta che, je jANe che te mANe che." vibhAga-9 mArI maMgalayAtrA ra6ra

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10 pU. AcAryazrInA avalaMbanathI ArAdhanAno epUrva avasara (prAraMbha 1938) 1988thI jIvananI maMgalayAtrI sudhI * pU. A. zrI bhadraMkara vijyasUrijIno samyagubodha * pU. pacAsajI bhadraMkara vijyanA graMthano satapaMtha * pU. AgamajJAtA zrI jaMbUvijyajIno guNavRddhino bodha * sva. pU. A. zrI bhadraguptajInuM sAhitya darzana * pU. bhaktayogI A. zrI yazovijyasUrijIthI bhaktimArganI viziSTatA * pU. A. zrI pradyumnasUrijInI pharatI 'pAThazALA' * pU. A. ratnasuMdarasUrijInAM hRdayaMgama lokabhogya sAhityanI saravANI * pU. A. naravAhanasUrijInA karma siddhAMtanuM adhyayana * pU. sAdhvIjanono paricaya * vidUSI sva. zrI sulocanAjI * maunI sAdhvI zrI nayaprabhAjI 2 "ATalo saMdezo mArA gurujIne kahe jo, sevakanA hadIyAmAM rahejo.....saMdezo sevAne smaraNa ane kenA ra karIe teno Adeza amane dejo.....saMdezo."

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T ? dhanya ne munivarA jeno AtmA nizcita thaI gayo, jenA manamAM nizcaya thaI gayo ke tene mATe dehanI mamatA paNa gauNa banI jAya che. te yogI dharmazAsanane kAje dharma pALavA mATe deha ane pratijJApAlana e bemAMthI eka pAlana karavAnuM Ave to dehano tyAga taNakhalAnI jema karI de che paNa dharmane pratyenuM tenuM mana evuM aDaga banI gayuM hoya ke Indriyono sukhAnurAga ene calita na karI zake. game tevA jhaMjhAvAta vAya paNa mahAparvata merUne jema kAMI na thAya tema te daDha ane acalanI jema acala rahe che. (parama pavitra zrI daza vaikAlika sUtranI cUlikAnI gAthA) (pAThazALA) - A. zrI pradyumnasUri nirmaLa rohaNa guNa maNibhUdharA, munijana mAnasa haMsa, dhanya nagarI dhanya veLA ghaDI, mAta-pitA kula vaMza. - jinezvara. - dharma jinezvara stavana. zrI AnaMdaghanajI.

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pU. sAdhubhagavaMtanA samAgamano suyoga ane subodhI vAstavamAM pUrve jaNAvyuM che tema 1938mAM pU. AcArya bhagavaMtanA bodhathI jIvananI dharmamaya bhAvanA sevAtI hatI. tyAra pachI traNacAra jevA dasakA anya mahAtmAonA samAgamamAM te bhAvanAne kaMIka prakAza maLato rahyo. paraMtu saMskAramAM bIjanuM ropaNa AcAryazrIthI thayeluM te punaH udayamAM AvyuM. vividha kSetro ane samAgama pachI aMtamAM 1988mAM zrI rA. sA. kendra, kobAthI nivRtta thaI nivAse AvI. tyAra pachI puNyayoge AcAryabhagavaMtonA samAgamanAM sopAna goThavAtAM gayAM. yadyapi 1984thI teno kaMIka prAraMbha thayelo paraMtu tenuM sAtatya 1988thI rahyuM. je AjasudhI jaLavAyuM che. te gurukRpA vaDe maMgalayAtrA pUrNa thaIne pUrNatA sudhI laI jaze tevI bhAvanAne poSaNa maLyA kare che. mArA jIvanamAM kevA saMketo maLe che te vicAra karuM chuM tyAre gurukRpA ja javAba maLe che. lagabhaga 1988 jevuM varSa haze. eka vAra eka zrAvaka pU. paMnyAsajI bhadraMkara racita "AtmotthAnano pAyo" graMtha mane ApavA AvyA. tenAM becAra pAnAM jotAM te graMtha pratye ane pU. paMnyAsajI pratye ahobhAva jAgyo. eTale meM sahaja pUchayuM, ke paMnyAsajIno meLApa kayAM thAya ? A graMtha to satapaMtha jevo che. are ! e to kALadharma pAmI gayA che." temanA viSe temaNe keTalIka vigato jaNAvI. mane thayuM A kALamAM AvA yogIo thavA chatAM kaMI darzana na thayAM. vaLI pUchyuM : hamaNAM koNa evA AcArya che ? temaNe kahyuM ke pU. AcArya bhagavaMta bhadraMkarasUrijI che. uttama-pavitra cAritrazIla che. temanA graMtho prakAzita thayA che. meM kahyuM ke mAre temanAM darzana karavAM che. te samaye traNa vAgyA hatA. "cAlo hamaNAM ja jaIe." ame upAzraye pahoMcyAM. AcAryazrI potAno svAdhyAya karatA hatA. sAmAnya rIte bahenone vyAkhyAna sivAya upAzrayamAM pravezabaMdhI rAkhatA. mArI sAthenA bhAIe ane meM vaMdana karyA. temaNe amArA sAmuM joyuM. bhAIe saheja jaNAvyuM, A sunaMdAbahena tattvajijJAsu che. temanI saMmatithI ame beThAM. pachI meM hAtha joDI pUchyuM, mAre samyakatva prApti mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-10 265

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viSe bodha joIe che. te vakhate temaNe guNavikAsanI keTalIka vAto kahI. pachI meM paDyuM : sAhebajI, thoDA divasa samaya ApI zakAze ? ""ahIM paMdara divasa chuM. kAlathI bapore 1 thI 2 A bhAI sAthe Avajo." mane A praNAlIno saMskAra eTale temAM vadhu ruci thaI. vaLI temaNe be graMtha ApyA. teno abhyAsa rucyo. temanI cAritrazIlatAnI mArA mana para sArI asara UpajI. mArA saMskAramAM zvetAMbara praNAlInAM anuSThAnonuM mAhAbhya hatuM temAM vadhu vRddhi thaI. pachI zuM banyuM te joIe. pU. sva. AcAryazrI bhadraMkarasUrijIno samAgama-bodha : (siddhapuruSa pU. A. bApajInA AjJAvartI hatA.) pU. zrI yazovijayasUrijIe teono paricaya A rIte Apyo che. "AcAracusta jIvana, ciMtana sabhara citta, dekhItI kaDakAIne pele pAra AzritonA kalyANanI satata ciMtanA karatuM madhura hRdaya." teozrInAM darzana ane hitazikSA mATe paMkaja sosAyaTI temanI nizrAmAM rahelo. bapore gocarI pachI mane sUI javAnI Teva, paNa sUvAnI taiyArI karatAM pahelAM mArI dRSTi paDI pUjyAdazrIjI para. navvANuM varSanI vaye TekA vagara svAdhyAya karI rahyA hatA. apramattatAnI AdhArazIlA para svAdhyAyane temaNe kevo AtmasAt karI lIdho hato ! AvA mahAtmAo jyAre mArA jevI eka zrAvikAnI jijJAsA mATe samaya Ape, te eka suavasara ja hato. AthI to mArI tattvajijJAsA pamaratI rahI ane AgaLanA yoga-suyoga banyA. ame traNeka divasa gayA pachI pelA bhAI to bahAragAma gayA. AthI huM ekalI gaI. bahAra UbhA rahI puchAvyuM ke pelA bhAI Aje AvavAnA nathI. pU.zrIe ziSya sAthe kahevarAvyuM ke tame aMdara Avo, bIjA ziSyo ahIM abhyAsa kare che eTale AvI zako cho. jaina sosAyaTImAM temanI paMdara-vIsa divasanI sthiratA hatI, tethI te divasomAM A lAbha maLyo. pachI paNa koI jagAe sthiratA hoya ane anukULa hoya to samaya ApatA. teoe mane sevA, sAmAyika Adi viSe kaMI pUchyuM nahi. teoe mAnyuM haze ke AvI moTI mUlyavAna vastu levA AvyA che to kaMIka bhUmikA haze. meM pUchyuM hajI aMtaramAM vikalpo ane vikAro UThe che te vibhAga-10 266 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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kema zame ? "samyaktvanI prAptinA sAdhake viSayothI virakti keLavavI joIe ane kaSAyone zamAvavA joIe. jeTalI aMtaranI zuddhi teTalI samyakatvane yogya pAtratA keLavAze. sAdhujanone saMsArano tyAga karyA pachI ghara karI gayelA saMskAronA udaya samaye AMtarika yuddha karIne haTAvavA paDe che. tyAM te mATe sAdhune paNa pramAdasevana vajarya che. tame to saMsAramAM viSayakaSAyathI gherAyelAM cho eTale samyaktva pAmavA mATe ghaNo puruSArtha joIe." samyakatva viSe mArgadarzana Apazo?? sAmAnya Avazyaka kriyAo pUratI nathI, paraMtu vItarAgadeva ane tenA vacananA ArAdhananI apUrva zraddhA vaDe samyakatvanI bhUmikA thAya che. saMsAra pratye jyAM sudhI sukhecchA haze tyAM sudhI A bhUmikA nahi baMdhAya. saMsAranI sukhecchAnAM mULa ghaNAM uMDAM che. mithyA mAnyatAonuM ajJAna pravarte che te badhA avarodha che. te mATe niraMtara svAdhyAya jevAM tapanuM pavitra manathI ArAdhana karavuM. rAgAdinAM mULiyAM DhIlAM paDe mithyAtva maMda thAya che tyAre jIvane vItarAgadevAdi para apUrva zraddhA thAya che te sAthe tene yogya guNo vikAsa pAme che. e guNo dvArA je zubha bhAva chatAM zuddha pakSanA bhAva utpanna thAya temAM sthira thavAno prayatna karavo. AraMbha parigrahanA cittavALAne mATe A ghaNuM duSkara che. tamArI jijJAsA sAcI ane tIvra che, mArganA khapI cho, prayatna karajo. zraddhA rAkhajo to samyakatva prApti sAdhya che - zubha bhAvo paNa zuddha svabhAvanA pakSavALA joIe; to ja A mArge AgaLa vadhI zakAya. thoDo paricaya vadhatAM temanA jANavAmAM AvyuM ke huM paradeza pravacana mATe jAuM chuM. pU. AcAryazrI kalApUrNasUrijInI "tattvajJAna pravezikA'no abhyAsa karAvuM chuM. tyAre eka vAra kahe : tamArI lekhanazailI saraLa che. zrI udayaratnanA navatattva prakaraNano abhyAsa karo, na samajAya tyAM pUchajo ane tenA parathI saraLa zailImAM tame pustaka taiyAra karo. te pramANe meM te pustakano abhyAsa karyo. teozrInAM mArgadarzana ane preraNAthI navatattvano saraLa paricaya pustaka 1990mAM taiyAra thaI zakyuM. je dezavidezamAM hajAronI saMkhyAmAM pracAra pAmyuM ane ghaNA jijJAsuoe teno abhyAsa karyo. mArI maMgalayAtrA 297 vibhAga-10

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mukhyatve to teozrInA paricayathI sAdhujanonA tathA mahAna AcAryozrInA samAgamanI dizA khUlI teno lAbha Aja sudhI maLato rahyo. ane vItarAgamArganI ArAdhanAmAM niHzaMkatA ane saraLatA rahI. vaLI teoe samyakatva prAptinI saiddhAMtika paddhati dharmaratna prakaraNa Adi zAstramAMthI samajAvI. Ama AcaraNayukta zailI ane zAstrazailI baMnenA samanvayathI mane samyaktvano bodha rasaprada jaNAyo. tamArI ruci uttama che, paraMtu jIvanazailI ane pariNati badalyA vagara samyakatva pAmavuM nizcayathI agharuM che. mATe abhyAsa karo, ane prathama to kaSAyanI maMdatA karI, saMsAra pratyethI Asakti tyajI guNavRddhi karo. aMtarmukhe thavAthI jarUra prApti thaze. te mATe temaNe zAstrIya samaja ApI. teone kAnanI takalIpha thayA pachI teo svayaM ghaNuM ochuM bolatA hatA. ane kahetA mArI A takalIpha che. eTale darzanano lAbha maLato. tyAM vaLI pUjaya zrI kalApUrNasUrijIno yoga thayo. samyakatvanI zAstrIya paddhati : caramAvarta, apunabaMdhaka, yathApravRttakaraNanI samaja : mokSamArganI pAtratA thAya tyAre jIva caramAvartamAM Ave che tyAre tene du:khI jIvo pratye atyaMta dayA pragaTe, guNavAno pratye bahumAna ane mokSamArganI ruci jevAM lakSaNo pragaTe che. apunabaMdhaka dazA pAmI, maMda kaSAyI thavAthI A jIvamAM tIvrapaNe pApAdi bhAva thatA nathI. sAMsArika pravRttimAM ati rasa nathI hoto. aucityanuM pAlana kare. AthI jIva mithyAtvayukta hovA chatAM tenAmAM samyaktva sanmukha thavAthI zraddhA Ave che. aMtarazuddhino krama vikAsa pAme che. mArgAbhimukha thAya che. mArgane yogya dharmadezanA pariNAma pAme che. have te mohanIyakarmanI sittera koDAkoDI sAgaropamanI sthiti bAMdhato nathI. tyAra pachI adhyavasAya zuddhi vaDe samyakatvane yogya karaNa thAya che, teno krama A pramANe che. yathApravRttakaraNa (adhyavasAya) : jIvanA tathAbhavyatvano (kALalabdhino) paripAka thavAthI nadIno paththara ghasArAthI goLa thAya tema A jIva viziSTa zubha adhyavasAyavALo thavAthI AyuSya vinA karmonI sthiti aMtaH koDAkoDI sAgaropama pramANa 268 mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-1)

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thAya che. AthI te graMthideza Avyo kahevAya. arthAtu anAdikALanI rAgadveSanI graMthi moLI paDI che, chatAM te durbhedya hovAthI apUrva puruSArthanI jarUra rahe che. AthI ghaNA jIvo pAchA phare che. arthAt pariNati palaTAI jAya che. jIvane maMdakaSAyane kAraNe bhrama pedA thAya che ke mane samyaktva sparyuM che. paraMtu pAcho pharavAthI punaH paribhramaNa pAme che jeno carama yathApravRttakaraNano kALa che te AgaLa vadhe che. apUrvakaraNa : je jIvo Asannabhavya che, samIpamuktigAmI che, je AdhyAtmika baLavALA che te to apUrva vIrSollAsa-zuddha adhyavasAya vaDe nibiDa graMthine bhedI-toDI nAMkhe che. tene have pAchA pharavAnuM nathI. te jIva apUrvakaraNa jevA zuddha adhyavasAya vaDe have AgaLa vadhe che. mithyAtva chatAM te ati maMdatA pAmyuM che. eTale Atmazakti vaDe jIva AgaLa vadhe che te samaye Atmazakti prabaLa bane che. karmaprakRtinAM rasa, sthiti ghaTatAM jAya che. anivRttikaraNa : graMthibheda vaDe te jIva AMzika alpakAlIna AtmAnA ullAsane anubhavIne AgaLa vadhe che. uttarouttara vizuddha adhyavasAya vaDe mithyAtvanA zeSa dalikone dabAvato jAya che. aMtarakaraNa : ahIM sudhI mithyAtvanI sthiti ati maMdapaNe che, muhUrta pramANa sthitimAM rahelA mithyAtvanA dalikone tyAM upazamAve arthAt mithyAtvanA daliko rahita sthiti bane che. tethI AMtara paDe che te aMtarakaraNa che. mithyAtvakarma aMtarakaraNa jevA zuddha adhyavasAya pAse AvatAM zAMta thaI jAya che. te aupathamika samyakatva che. te aMtamuhUrta alpakAlIna sthitivALuM che. paraMtu jIvane mokSamArge caDhAvavAnuM mahAkAya ahIM thAya che. savizeSa aMtarakaraNamAM rahelo jIva mithyAtvanA dalikone zuddha kare che. tyAra pachI tenA traNa vibhAga thAya che : (1) zuddha puMja - samyakatva mohanIyA (2) ardhazuddha peja - mizra mohanIya (3) azuddha puMja - mithyAtva mohanIya zuddha puMja udayamAM Ave te kSAyopathamika samyakatva pAme che. eka vAra paDe to paNa tene punaH samakitanI prApti thAya che. te Akhare ardha pagala mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-10 269

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parAvartana kALa sudhImAM mukta thAya che. A samakita dIrghakALavALuM che. A paMcama kALamAM prAye kSAyika samyakatva prApta nathI. Ama darzana mohanIyanuM mithyAtva ane cAritramohanA anaMtAnubaMdhI kaSAyonuM upazamana te samyakatva aupathamika, kSaya-upazamavALuM lAyopathamika, ane sattAmAMthI kSayavALuM kSAyika samyakatva kahevAya che. je vadhAremAM vadhAre trIje bhave muktidAtA che. vyavahAranayanI apekSAe sadeva, saguru tathA sadharmanI zraddhA. jIvAjIvAdinuM yathArtha jJAna e samyaktva che paraMtu aMtaraMga kAraNa darzanamohanI traNa ane anaMtAnubaMdhI cAra ema darzana saptakanA kSaya upazamAdi che. nizcayanayathI mithyAtva mohanIya AdinA kSaya-upazama ke kSayopazamathI pragaTa thayelA zuddha pariNAma te nizcaya samyaktva che. samyagu zraddhA, samyagu jJAna, samyaguM cAritra rUpa ramaNatAthI pragaTa thayelI zuddha pariNati, sva-saMvedana nizcaya samyaktva che. teozrI A rIte aneka paDakhAthI samyaktvanI samaja ApatA hatA. pachI to AgaLanA yoga maLatA gayA. paMnyAsa pravara sva. zrI bhadraMkaravijayajI : parokSa paricaya-bodha parokSa ke graMtharUpI akSaradehathI thato paricaya yogIjanonI pavitratAnA vaheNathI pratyakSasvarUpa bane che tevuM meM anubhavyuM tethI atre teono paricaya saune lAbhadAyI banaze ema mAnI Apyo che. teonI upasthitimAM kaMI darzanavaMdanano lAbha maLyo na hato. paraMtu A graMtha dvArA temanA prabhAvano, navakAra maMtranA mahimAno suparicaya thayo. pU. AcAryazrI kahetA ke mane navakAramaMtra ApanAra pU.paMnyAsajI che. vaLI teono Adeza che ke saune navakAramaMtra Apajo. saMsAra taravAnuM amogha sAdhana che. paMnyAsajIe navakAramaMtra sAdhya-siddha karyo hato tevuM temanA samIpa rahelA sAdhakoe tathA pU. AcAryazrIe anubhavyuM che. teozrI bhaktavatsalathI bharapUra hatA. maitrIbhAva temano viziSTa koTino hato. jIvamaitrI ane jInabhakti e teozrIno aMtaraMga pratibhAva hato. teonI daSTimAM kRpA varasatI, to vANImAM amI varasatuM. te saunI dRSTine ane haiyAne bhIMjavI jatI. AthI vaNakheDelA pradezomAM, vibhAga-10 ra70 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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jIvomAM paNa teoe navakAranAM bIja vAvyAM hatAM. "AtmotthAnano pAyo' mane maLyo. meM tenuM adhyayana karyuM. pachI tene amadAvAda tathA amerikAmAM khUba gAyo. be-traNa varSa sudhI tenA upara svAdhyAya thayA. baso uparAMta kuTuMbonAM gharamAM e vasyo. saue tene hArdika bhAve vadhAvyo. ekaso pacIsa jevI keseTo banI, te ghara ghara guMjatI thaI. Aje paNa guMje che. A kALamAM mokSamArganI durlabhatA che, chatAM temaNe saraLa cAvIo ApI ke paraMparAe jIva mokSamArgI banI zake te che "catudazaraNa gamana, duSkatagaha, sukRtAnumodana." A cAvIone teozrIe pragaTa karI jijJAsu jIvo sudhI pahoMcADI. arihaMta, siddha, sAdhu, kevaLI prarUpita dharma svIkAre tenAM duSkRtyo nAza pAme, punaHdoSothI bacato rahe. tenA kAraNe sukRtyonuM amodana karI svayaM tevAM padone prApta karavA pAtra bane. teo svayaM A pATha-bhAvanAnA nitya ArAdhaka hatA. teozrIno A graMtha ja svabodha arthAtu AtmaciMtanathI prAraMbha thAya che. tenI zaratono anivArya svIkAra thavo joIe to jIvane sanmArganI prApti thAya. te zarato A che. "mohano tyAga karIne je AtmA AtmAne AtmA vaDe AtmAmAM jANe che te ja jJAna-darzana ane cAritra che e ja paramAtma svarUpane pAmavAno upAya che." deha dRSTithI jotAM huM dAsa chuM. jIvadRSTithI jotAM huM AtmA chuM. AtmadaSTithI jotAM huM paramAtmA chuM. mahadaMze jIvo pulabhAve varte che. tethI tene AtmazaktinuM bhAna nathI. A Atmadravya eTaluM baLavAna che ke te kSaNamAtramAM Alokaparalokane jANI zake che. A zakti tenAmAM tyAre ja pragaTe che ke jyAre tenAmAM paugalika Adi kutUhalavRtti zame che. meruparvata game teTalo UMco hoya, svayaMbhU samudra game teTalo gahero hoya tenuM mApa kADhavAnI ke jANavAnI zakti AtmAnA jJAnamAM rahelI che. parvatanA kaThaNa paththaro pANIno pravAha toDI zake che. are ! cheka retInA kaNamAM pheravI zake che. lokhaMDano kaThaNa TukaDo pANInA saMyoge kaTAI ghasAvA mAMDe che. mArI maMgalayAtrA 271 vibhAga-1)

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Ama bAhyadaSTithI jotAM karma kaThina ke baLavAna lAge che. AtmA nirbaLa lAge che. paraMtu tene svAbhAvika dRSTithI jovAmAM Ave to dhyAnajJAnAdi vaDe AtmA ja te kaThina jaNAtAM karmone kSaNa mAtramAM chinnabhinna karI zake che. arthAt AtmAnI zuddha avasthA e ja mokSa che ane azuddha avasthA te saMsAra che. azuddha avasthAmAM be doSo thayA kare che. eka to potAne yogya bhUmikAmAM zubha kriyAmAM ALasa, ane azubha kriyAmAM pravRtti. bIjuM AtmasvarUpanuM ajJAna ane parasvarUpamAM AtmapaNAno bhrama. chadmastha jIvomAM A be doSarahita koIka ja haze tethI jyAre tattvajJAnanI vAta sAMbhaLe che tyAre kriyAmAM pramAda seve che. ane kriyAno mahimA sAMbhaLe che tyAre jJAnamAM pramAda seve che. vAstavamAM sAcuM jJAna ane sAcI kriyA anyonya pUraka che. jaLa ane rasanI jema paraspara saMyogavALA che. vizeSa rucivALAe te graMthano abhyAsa karavo. pU. AgamavettA-sthavira jaMbUvijayajI viSe mitAkSarI paricaya : pU. jaMbUvijayajIno paricaya lagabhaga vIseka varasathI thayo hato. joke vAraMvAra darzanano lAbha laI zakI nathI. teo gujarAtanA viramagAma tAlukAnA mAMDala gAmanA vatanI. mAtA-pitA sAthe amadAvAda AvI vasyA. paraMtu mAtA-pitA sAthe cauda varSanI vaye saMsAratyAga karyo. pavitra sAdhupaNAnI dhUNI dhakhAvI. svAdhyAya, zAstrAbhyAsa te temane mATe havApANI-AhArathI paNa vizeSa che. pU. jaMbUvijayajIno paricaya zuM ApIe? svAdhyAyarata, AgamaprAjJa, zrutasthavira bhaktiyogI, dArzanikanI virala pratibhA. savizeSa Agama-saMzodhananA prANa samA, guruvacana tahatti ane AgamanuM saMpAdana e temanI sAdhanA banI. vihAra hoya ke sthiravAsa hoya temanI AgamasevA prabhuvANInI sevAnuM kArya vaNathaMbhya thayA ja kare. jinazAsana sevAnAM AvAM ratnonA samAgamamAM ApaNe kAMkarA jevA hoIe to paNa ApaNuM kalyANa thAya. lagabhaga ATha bhASAonuM jeo jJAna dharAve che, te paNa lokottaramArganI upayogitAthI sabhara rAkhyuM che. te sivAya anya prayojana vibhAga-1) 27ra mArI maMgalayAtrA

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nahi. jainasamAjanA sAgaNamAM zAsanasevAnA teo mUka sevaka rahyA che. koI bAhyADaMbara nahi. kAryanI prasiddhi nahi. vAjAM-varaghoDA nahi, teo kahetA : ""temAM ghaNo samaya jAya che." joke teone loko kahetA ke A to zAsananI sevA che, te to karavI joIe. tyAre koI vAra kaMIka bhAga letA. caityavaMdana jevI mudrA e temanI lakhavAnI beThaka. Ubho paga Deska banatuM tenA para Teko rAkhI lekhana karatI temanI mudrA vaMdanIya lAgatI. kalAko sudhI e kArya karatA. praznonA uttara samatAthI ane TUMkamAM ApatA. lAMbI vAto karatA te phakta temanA lekhananA kArya mATe ke vidyArthIone zIkhavavA mATe. temanI pAse jarmanIthI vidyAvyAsaMga mATe yuvAno AvatA. temane jainasaMghoe AcArya padavI mATe vinaMti karI hatI. paNa temaNe joyuM ke e padavI levAmAM Agama-saMzodhananuM kArya gauNa thaze. tethI teno vivekapUrvaka asvIkAra karyo, tyAre saMghoe pU. zrI AcArya bhagavaMta bhadrakarasUrijInI upasthitimAM "Agama sthaviranuM pada ApyuM hatuM." temano ziSyagaNa A kAryamAM upayogI rahe teTalo maryAdita che. temanA sAnidhyamAM rahetA sAdhvIjano paNa prAkRta jevI bhASAnAM zAstronA abhyAsI che. tAjetaramAM teozrIne kalikAlasarvajJa zrI hemacaMdrAcArya suvarNa caMdrakanI padavI enAyata karavAmAM AvI che. chatAM teo sadA evA kSetrathI niHspRha rahyA che. ghaNAM varSo pahelAM bharatabhAI sAthe teozrInAM darzane javAnuM thayuM hatuM. te paricayanA AdhAre zaMkhezvara jyAre javAnuM thatuM tyAre temano lAbha maLato. teonAM mA-sAdhvImahArAjanI vayavRddhatAne kAraNe teo paNa zaMkhezvaranAM AjubAjunAM nAnAM gAmomAM cAturmAsa karatA, jethI Agama-saMzodhananA kAryanuM ekAMta maLI rahetuM. lagabhaga trIsa jevAM varSa sudhI teo amadAvAda AvyA na hatA. eka cAturmAsa karIne tAravaNI kADhI ke lokasaMparkamAM rahevuM hoya to A zaheramAM rahevuM. ane jo AgamasaMzodhananuM kArya karavuM hoya to nAnAM gAmomAM sthiravAsa karavo. AthI vaLI pAchA nAnAM gAmomAM ja cAturmAsa karatA. apramAdapaNe kAryarata rahevuM. AhAradimAM saMyama, dara mAse aThThamanI ArAdhanA. prabhubhaktimAM parAyaNa, mahAna ciMtaka evI A vibhUti Aje mArI maMgalayAtrA 273 vibhAga-10

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ATha dasakAnI vaya pUrI thavA chatAM roje 2025 kilomITara pAdavihAra kare che, te cAle tyAre yuvAnI ke vRddhatAno bheda parakhAto nahi. vaLI chellAM ATha varSamAM teo zaMkhezvarathI cheka jesalamera, dilhIthI cheka badrInAtha (himAlaya), banArasathI cheka sametazikharajI, Ama bhAratanI pradakSiNAno pAdavihAra karIne te vistAramAM vizALa buddhithI janasaMparka karI rahyA che. sAthe pharatuM Agama saMzodhana to kharuM ja. A pradezomAM vihAra kasoTIbharyo hato paraMtu potAnA sAthIo sAthe sahiSNu rahIne prasannatAthI vihAra thayo. teo saraLa citta ane niHspRha che. jIvadayA pratye anukaMpAyukta che. jo amadAvAda Ave to paricitone pote ja darzana Ape. (arthAt maLavA Ave). temAM pagalAM'nA AmaMtraNanI rAha na jotA. koI sAthe phaMDaphALAnuM koI kArya ja rAkhatA nahi. anya bAhya pravRttimAM teo bhAga na letA. ane te viSe carcAo karatA nahi. Aje ATha dasakA uparAMta vaya thavA chatAM e ja gatie kAryarata che. jyAre jAva tyAre prasannatAthI samaya Ape. TUMko ane mITho upadeza Ape. "teo kriyAkAMDa karatAM "guNakAMDa' para vizeSa bhAra mUkatA. kriyA guNo tarapha javA mATe che; ke kriyA e kevaLa saMzodhana mATe che, te vAta Aje bhulAI gaI. sau doDavA lAgyA che. kyAM javuM che te jANatA nathI. kyAMya javAnuM nathI. je kaMI karavAnuM che te guNalakSI banI vItarAgamArge javAnuM che." chellAM dasa varSamAM teonA bodhano vizeSa lAbha maLato rahyo che. vaLI bhAratanAM ghaNAM sthaLono paricaya thavAthI have teonI lokapriyatA pragaTa thavAthI nAnAM gAmomAM hoya to paNa tyAM mAnavameLo jAme. saune AvakAre, bodha Ape ane punaH potAnA kAryamAM goThavAI jAya. eka vAra nivAse padhAryA tyAre bodha Apyo ke have svAtmA pratye javAno samaya pAkyo che. te mATe zAstrabodhane grahaNa karo. tame svayaM abhyAsa karo; bAhyAMDabara gauNa karI atyaMtara zuddhinI vizeSatA karo. te vakhate amerikAnA satsaMgI mitro AvyA hatA. temano paricaya karAvyo. tyAre khAsa kahyuM ke tamArA jevA ATha-dasa jijJAsuo mAro sthira vAsa hoya tyAM Avo. tamane A AgamanuM mAhAbhya ane anya abhyAsa karAvuM. vibhAga-10 274 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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dhanya te munivarA. vayamAM 80 jeTalAM varSa, kAryazIlatAmAM 40 jeTalAM varSa, ane cAlavAmAM 20 varSa jeTalAM temanuM apramAda darzana karavA jevuM che. ane vartanamAM 10 varSa jeTalAM nirdoSa chatAM jJAnavRddha che. vaLI je koI paricita jAya tenI sAthe dharmalAbha' kahevarAve. eka vAra eka bahena temanI pAse gayelAM te bahene traNeka vAra - kAmasevA mATe pUchyuM haze. pU.zrIe traNa vAra kahyuM ke "sunaMdAbahenane dharmalAbha kahejo." . pelAM bahena jAteja mArI pAse AvyAM bahena, tame kevAM bhAgyazALI cho ? meM kahyuM, "chuMne ? tame dharmalAbha lAvyA cho ? "bahena, tame vaLI kevI rIte jANuM ?" "tamArA ja bhAva uparathI." pachI kahe : ""sAhebajIe traNacAra "dharmalAbha' kahyA tyAre mane thayuM ke sulatAzrAvikAne bhagavAne "dharmalAbha" kahAvyA hatA teno aNasAra maLI rahe che. evo bhAva thavAthI phona karavAne badale jAte ja kahevA AvI chuM." AnaMda thayo, pU.zrI sukhazAtAmAM che ne? "hA." vaLI meM kahyuM : "bahena, A ja amArI bhAgyamUDI che." . sva-AcArya zrI bhadraguptajInuM sAhitya darzana : saMsAramAM vyApAre nIkaLelA vyApArIne jema dhaMdhArthIo maLatA jaya, tethI vizeSa mane have AdhyAtmika kSetre uttama sAdhu-sAdhvIjanono saMparka thato gayo. pU. AcAryazrI bhadraguptajI viSe pUrvArdha kaMI vizeSa jANatI nathI. paraMtu lagabhaga 1995thI temano paricaya kyAreka thato hato. joke teone zArIrika bImArI ghaNI hatI tethI chellAM varSomAM amadAvAdamAM sthira thayA hatA. tyAre vizeSa lAbha maLato. teozrIe jaina samAjane mATe uttama koTinA sAhityanuM sarjana karyuM che e sarjana bImArI chatAM thatuM rahyuM. teo kahetA: ""auSadha upacAra to karavA paDe che paNa A zAstrAbhyAsa, avalokana, ane lekhana te to auSadha, upacAra ane pathya pUruM pADe che." Ama temanuM sAhitya te temano bolato paricaya che. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-1) 25

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teonuM sAhitya rasALa, saraLa, adhyAtmarasapUrNa chatAM lokabhogya banyuM che. kathAonI racanA vaividhya pUruM pADe che. ame temanA darzane jaIe tyAre prasannavadane praznonA javAba ApatA. pApa karatAM vicAra karajo. pAchA paDajo. sukRtyonA sahAre purANA saMskArane zAMta karI navuM sarjana karajo. zAMtasudhArasa jevAM zAstromAM bAra bhAvanAthI vairAgyano bodha pragaTa karyo. zrAvakanA pAMtrIsa guNonA vistArathI zrAvakajIvanane puNyanAM dvAra kholI ApyAM. samarAditya kathAthI verabhAvanI paraMparAthI agnizarmAno karuNa aMjAma kalamamAM utArI tenA pratipakSamAM guNasenanI uttamakSamA dvArA mokSanI vATa batAvI. aMjanAsatInI kathAmAM utAvaLA pariNAmavALA puruSanA avicArI pagalAthI satI duHkha pAmI. tyAre paNa satItva kevuM TakAvI rAkhyuM? sAsu, sasarA, pati, pitA, bhAI koIne doSa na detAM jaMgalanI vATa lIdhI. mitra samAna dAsIne sahAre guphAmAM nivAsa karyo. satInAM pApa ekalA udayamAM nathI hotA, paya paNa sAthe hoya che. tethI guphAno yakSa ja rakSaka banI gayo. e guphAmAM satIe prabhunI mUrtinuM sthApana karyuM ane teno sahAro lIdho. putrajanma pachI to puNyabaLa kAma karatuM thayuM. aMte patino meLApa thayo. samaya thatAM saMyama dhAraNa karI muktino mArga pakaDyo. sulasA zrAvikAnI kathAmAM sulatAnI prabhubhaktinI sAdazyatA darzAvI, ApaNI pAse savizeSa strI kSetre eka Adarza mUkyo ke zrAvikApaNuM maLo to AvuM ja maLajo je muktidAtA thAya. "tArA sukhane vikherI nAkha, duHkhane khaMkherI nAkha." arthAt sukhane vaheMcI nAkha, tArA sukhanAM sAdhanothI sukRtya karIne pApAnubaMdhI puNyathI chUTI jA. ane duHkha to karmano vipAka che temAM anyano doSa nathI, samatAthI veThI le, khaMkherI nAkha. puNyAnubaMdhI puNyane meLavI le. vaLI pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM' mathALuM vAMcI thAya ke e zuM haze ? paNa RSidattAnI rasabharapUra kathA eka ja beThake vAMco ane vicAro. AMkhe AMsu sukAya nahi kyAM sudhI ? cAritradharma pAmuM nahi tyAM sudhI. evo kathAno marma che. vibhAga-10 276 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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"prIta kiye duHkha hoya" jo paugalika padArthonI prIta che to te saMyoga-viyoge duHkhadAyI thavAnI che. paraMtu prabhu sAthe prIta karI le. prabhu parama sukhI... tAro AtmA paNa parama sukhI. "mAraga sAcA mila gayA' stavanonA AdhAre prabhubhaktino adbhuta pravAha relAvyo che. prabhunuM mAhAbhya bhAvapUrNapaNe pragaTa karyuM che. jJAnasAra to ati uttama koTinuM zAstra che. pU. zrI kalApUrNasUrijI kahetAM dareka sAdhaka, sAdhu, sAdhvIjanoe kaMThastha karavA jevuM che. jJAnasAra kaMThastha thAya to tenA kaSAyo maMda paDe, cAritra nirmaLa bane, zraddhA-jJAna paripakva thAya. pachI samatArUpI AtmA ja pragaTa thAya. eka eka aSTakamAM amRta bharyuM che. pUrNatAthI prAraMbha karIne vividha guNAtmaka bhAvothI bharapUra Atmika darzana karAvyuM che. AvuM amUla sAhityasarjana temanuM cirasmaraNIya smaraNa che. bhaktayogI pU. AcAryazrI yazovijyasUrijI : anokhI pratibhA pU.AcAryazrI, sva. A. zrI uThekArasUrijInA AjJAvartI che. gurudevanA vAtsalyapuMjamAMthI temane A "bhaktipadAratha' prApta thayo tema teo jaNAve che. vaLI teo ahobhAvathI kahe che ke "A jIvanA mastaka para siddha yogIpuruSano varada hasta mukAya tyAre sahastrAra khIlI UThatuM. jenA vaDe te pravAha avirata cAlyA ja karato. e varada hasta jenA mastakane sparze e kalyANayAtrI banI ja gayo." teonI kalamamAM jyAre AvA bhAva nikhare, ApaNA cakSumAM e zabda najarAya, tyAre lAge ke e aMtarabhUmi kevI gUDha haze ? je jANe te ja mANene ? vaLI A mahAtmA paNa kevA khullA dila-dimAgavALA hoya che ? gurukRpA varasI ke jhilAI, AvuM joIe tyAre mArA jevAne lAge ke ApaNe to korA dhAkora chIe. makSIjI tIrthamAM prathama darzana thayA pachI amadAvAda prasaMge prasaMge darzana thatAM. bhakti svayaM bhaktavatsala hoya. jyAre jyAre temanA samAgamamAM jaIe tyAre temanI bhaktinI lahera temanA mukha para jovAnI paNa eka dhanyatA che. jIvaMta nItaratI bhaktinAM darzana javalle ja thAya che. bhakti ane samakitano saMbaMdha zuM che ?? mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-1) 27.

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teozrI kahe che ke prabhunuM dhyAna, guNagAna, darzana badhuM ja samakita rUpa che. jema ke prabhunA kSamAguNanuM dhyAna svasaMvedanarUpa bane tyAre te AMzika sukhano anubhava karAve che, to pachI jyAre prabhu, tame to kSamAguNanA zikhare rahyA tyAM kevo AnaMda ? te guNamAM jo ApaNI tanmayatA thAya to jJAnarUpa che. te guNamAM UMDI lInatA te cAritra che. AtmA-paramAtmAnuM tyAM aMtara nathI. bhakti dvArA ratnatrayInuM prAgaTya che. bhaktiyoga sAthe draSTAbhAva ane jJAtAbhAva te pachI kevaLa udAsIna, nirvikalpatA, te samakitanI pUrNatA che. jJAtA-draSTAbhAva kevI rIte levo ? dRzyomAM aTavAI javAne badale cetanA mAtra jovAnI kriyA kare te draSTAbhAva, jANavAnI kriyAmAM upayoga te jJAtAbhAva. AtmA jyAre joyo jANato hato tyAre te te padArtha ane vyaktinuM sArI-kharAbanuM mUlyAMkana karI rAgadveSanI laheromAM aTavAI jato hato. jJAtA-draSTA tyAM aTavAto nathI. jyAre jyAre teozrI sAthe bodhavArtA thatI tyAre lAgatuM ke teo nakhazikha bhaktiyogathI bhIMjAyelA che, temAMthI A bodharasa nIkaLe che. tyAre vicAra Avato ke anya rasanAM pINAM kevAM phikkAM hoya che ? ane A rasa Atmapradeza pradeze jharato amRtapUrNa hoya che. teo te samayanA bhAva yogamAM DUbakI mAratA hoya tevuM jaNAtuM. * teo kahetA : mana jyAre nistaraMga, nirAzraya bane tyAre zubha ke azubha karmANuono praveza thato nathI. tyAre jIvano upayoga puNyapApanA kaMrahita hoya che. tyAM karma kevI rIte praveze ? tyAre baMdha nathI ane karmano udaya thaze to te nirjarA mATe haze. pachI gajasukumAranuM diSTAMta ApatA. e dhyAna dazA eTale svarUpasthiti, potAnI aMdara TharI javuM te sAdhujanonuM kartavya. prabhunA dhyAna viSe kahetA : prabhu padArtha para cakSane TekavI rAkhatA. e mAtra jovAnuM ghaTita thAya che. vAstavamAM prabhu aMdara pahoMcI gayA hoya che. bahAranA game tevA upasargomAM prabhunA bhItarI khaMDano laya hato. svayaM pote kahetA : aDhaLaka zAstronuM adhyayana karyuM tyAre je vAta samajAI nahotI te vAta devacaMdrajInAM stavanothI samajAI ke zAstra cakSu vibhAga-10 278 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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che, te mAtra nirdeza kare che. vAstavika sAdhanA bhItara javA mATe che. mAro zAstrokta jJAnano kepha UtarI gayo. nemi prabhu dhyAne re ekatvatA nijatattva ekatAno che, zukala dhyAne re sAdhI siddhatA pAme mukti nidAno jI." tyAM to AnaMda ghanajI e eka Takoro karI dIdho : nAma adhyAtama, ThavaNa adhyAtama dravya adhyAtama chaMDo re, bhAva adhyAtama nija guNa sAdhe, to teha zuM raDha maMDo re. adhyAtama je vastu vicArI bIjA jANa labAsI re. labAsI-gaNavezavALA aMdara DUbakI ne mArI zake che. te to dekhAdekhI oghadaSTie dharma karatA rahe che. svanA lakSyavALo ja adhyAtmavAna hoya. teo kahetA : rAga ke dveSa thAya te tamArA upAdAnanI azuddhinuM kAraNa che. nimitta kaMI karatuM nathI. e nizcayanayanuM dRSTibiMdu che. chatAM prAraMbhika sAdhakoe azubha nimittothI dUra rahevuM joIe. puSTa zuddha avalaMbananuM sevana karavuM. Avo ghaNo jJAnano lAbha maLyo che. pU. AcAryazrI pradyumnasUrijIno alpAkSarI paricaya : (jJAnamArganA pratibhAsaMpana saMzodhaka) pU. AcAryazrI pradyumnasUrijI zAsanasamrATa AcAryazrI nemisUrijInI paraMparAnA che. teozrI zAstrajJa, cAritrazIla che. teozrI jainadarzananA aitihAsika arvAcIna prAcIna prasaMgo ane pAtronA saMzodhaka che. zAstranA koI adazya khUNAmAMthI ajabagajabanAM rahasya zodhIne "pharatI pAThazALAmAM" mUke tyAre ghaNI vAra na jANeluM ghaNuM pragaTa thatuM lAge. teozrInA pravacanamAM paNa lagabhaga AvI zailI rahI che. koI kavionA gIta dvArA ke kudaratanA saMketathI pAThazALAmAM te vAcA Ape che, tyAre sAzcarya AnaMda thAya che. pAThazALAte mukhapatra che. samayocita prakharatA paNa kharI ane vANImAM mRdutA paNa kharI. bahu moTAM Ayojano ane utsavomAM teo samayane anusarIne pravRtta hoya che. temanA dvArA thatA pratiSThA mahotsavamAM paNa bahu moTA ADaMbarane badale zAMta suramya ane suvyavasthita Ayojana hoya che. teo kahe che : have cAturmAsa jevA divasomAM kevaLa vyAkhyAna pUratAM nathI. saue bodhapUrvaka jJAnavardhaka ArAdhanA karavI joIe, tevuM sUcana haMmezAM karatA hoya che. - teozrI madhyastha ane vizALacitta che. teo dharmavidhio ke siddhAMto vibhAga-10 mArI maMgalayAtrA 279

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kevaLa rUDhinI peTImAM pUrI detA nathI. paraMtu prAcIna arvAcIna aitihAsika prasaMgo ane pAtro dvArA tenA maulika ane mULa rahasyane pragaTa karI Ape che. ApaNI e kathAo caMdanabALAno prasaMga ke RSabhadevanuM varasItapanuM pAraNuM hoya teonI kalamamAM te rasaprada ane rahasyamaya bane che. savizeSa teozrI prAcIna graMthonuM adhyayana karI agamanigamano bodha pAThazALAmAM rajU kare che. ane vyAkhyAnamAM paNa te jhalaka jovA maLe che. vaLI teo navadIkSita hatA tyAre ghaNA mahAtmAonA paricayamAM rahevAthI temano AtmavikAsa tvarita utthAna pAmyo hato tema temanA paricayathI jaNAya che. hAla ekAMta mauna-yoga sAdhanA karanArA sAdhu che ? e mahAtmAo yogIo kevA hatA te temanI kalama, hRdayanI zAhIthI jaNAve che ke yogI puruSanA manano upayoga deha-Indriya-mana tene oLaMgIne tene pele pAra je AtamarAma che tyAM che. teo potAnA gaNAtA dehane paNa bIjAnA dehane jotA hoya tema jue che, e dehAtma viveka pudgala bhAvothI judo che. huM jJAna mAtra chuM. A yogIonuM hRdaya che. hA, paNa hAla tevA yogIono meLApa thato nathI. AtmatvanI anuprekSA dvArA ja A deha-AtmAnuM bhedajJAna lAdhyuM hovuM joIe. tevA mahAtmAonI chAyAmAM rahevA maLe te saubhAgya gaNAya. zAstrokta kathana anvaye ApaNe kahIe chIe ke A paMcamakALa che. paraMtu pU. AcAryazrInA paricayamAM AvIne jANyuM ke jenA pUrA kuTuMbamAM sarvavirati pratyenuM pramANa hoya teo mATe paMcamakALa kema kahevAya? hA, ApaNA jevA saMsAravAsIne mATe kahIe to ThIka che. zrI pradyumnasUrijInI dIkSA jANe pUrvanA ArAdhananA baLe sahaja paNe hoya tevuM "pAThazALA'nA graMthamAM jovA maLyuM. vaDIlo kahe : tArI dIkSA thavAnI che. gurumahArAja kahe : tArI dIkSA thavAnI che. pU. guruNIbA mahArAja e sAMbhaLI harSabhera AzIrvacana mokale. Avo avasara maLe kevuM moTuM saubhAgya? tyAM ApaNI nabaLAI zira jhukAvyA vagara zuM karI zake ? gurumahArAja pAse kaThina zAstrono saullAsa abhyAsa; vaLI anya AcArya bhagavaMtono suyoga, navAdIkSitanuM ghaDatara jhaDapathI thatuM hatuM. kAraNa ke svayaM teo temAM tatpara hatA. eka vicAra temanA zabdomAM vibhAga-10 280 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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aMkita : "Ama dRzya-adazya evI ghaNI vyaktionA alpa athavA mahAna upakAronI amIvarSA satata thatI rahI che tethI Aje je jovA maLe che, te piMDa AkAra ane sAra sahitano baMdhAyo che." teozrInI sAthe kaMI nimitta maLatAM vAta thatI tyAre mane je je saMta, mahAtmAo, sAdhako, sAdhuo maLyA tenI vAta kahetI. tyAre teoe mane kahyuM ke ""tamane bhAratanA, gujarAtanA ucca koTinA vyaktivizeSa vibhUtiono meLApa thayo che te saubhAgya che. paNa tame e Adarza pakaDI rAkhyo ke vItarAga mArgane anurUpa hoya tyAMthI lAbha meLavavo, agara to tyAM kaMI paNa doSAropaNa karyA vagara khasI javuM te tamArA mATe lAbhadAyaka banyuM che." anya darzanamAM je yogIo thayA che, temAM koIka ja sAcA nispRha, pavitratA pAmelA hoya che. temAM jainadarzana jevuM vItarAgatva, akartutva jevuM yogabaLa nathI kaLAtuM. jainadarzanamAM ekAMtamAM ArAdhanA karanArA yogIjanonI paNa ati alpatA che. ApaNe jyAM chIe tyAM pariNatinI zuddhi tarapha vizeSa lakSya rAkhavuM-vigere vinimaya karatA. pU. AcArya vijaya ratnasuMdarasUrijIno paricaya zuM ApIe ? : (jainajainetaranA prabhAvaka pravaktA) vijaya ratnasuMdarasUrijIno paricaya teonAM cAturmAsa amadAvAdamAM 1999thI thayAM tyAre prathama temanI talasparzI vANIthI thayo. hajAronI janamedanIne kalAko sudhI zravaNamAM gUMthelI rAkhavI te temanI vacanalabdhi che. teo garbhazrImaMta kuTuMbanA panotA putra, bALabrahmacArI muni, zAstrAbhyAsI, prakhara vaktA, zIdhra lekhaka-A sAthe sarvadA prasannamudrAmAM rahenArA, ziSyo pratye vAtsalya varasAvanArA anekavidha pratibhAsaMpanna che. dakSA saMtasamAgamane zodhI le, khAsa vaMdana karavA jAya. paricaya Ape : "huM sunaMdAbahenanI dIkarI." tenI jijJAsAvRtti paNa evI ke sau saMto tene vAtsalyabhAve samayocita bodha Ape. dakSA mane paNa laI jAya. teo pUrA vyAkhyAnano sAra daseka miniTamAM samajAvI de. temanA vaktavyamAM koInI upekSA ke TIkA na hoya. teo haMmezAM vidheyAtmaka dRSTi rAkhe. temano upadeza savizeSa evo ke jIvananA rojanA saMgharSothI jIvo bace, premathI kauTumbika jIvanamAM dharmanuM AcaraNa karo. mArI maMgalayAtrA 281 vibhAga-1)

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kaSAyone, khoTI mahattvAkAMkSA ane phariyAdone tilAMjali Apo. tenuM mIThI ane tIkhI bhASAmAM nirUpaNa karo. thoDA bodhanAM chAMTaNAM kare. kauTumbika jIvananA zravaNa karelA darda bharelA prasaMgo kahI janasamUhane 2DAve, dayAnA bhAva pedA karAve. samatAne sthAna ApavA vedhakapaNe samajAve. ane jhera vamIne amRtapAna karanAranA prasaMgo kahI jIvonI guNavattAnI vRddhi karavAmAM mArgadarzana Ape. thoDI ramUjI rasaprada vAto kahI janasamUhane hAsyathI taraboLa karI prasanna kare. prabhu pratyenI zraddhAnuM baLa kema vadhe? huM khAsa vaMdana karavA jAuM tyAre kaMI bodha mAMguM, tyAre savizeSa prabhu pratye zraddhA ane samarpaNanI bhAvanAne poSaNa Ape. prabhu pratye bhakti ane jIvo pratye maitrI, prema-A maMtra hRdayamAM jaDI rAkhajo . "tame svAdhyAya karavA ane ApavAmAM tatpara raho cho. have anuprekSAmAM jAva. eka viSaya laI tenuM vistAra ane UMDANathI ciMtana karo, tenA vaDe cittazuddhi thaze." A paddhati kaMIka cAlatI hatI. temAM teonA bodhathI vadhu preraNA maLI ane niyamitatAno lAbha thayo. 2001mAM dakSAnuM kensaranuM oNparezana hatuM, tyAre mAMgalika sAMbhaLavA gaI hatI. sAhebajI kahe, ""roga zarIrane che ne AtmA to dharma pAmyo che. have ciMtA zAnI ?" vAstavamAM dakSA oparezananA pUrA samaya sudhI prasanna hatI, te tenI devagurunI bhaktinuM kAraNa che. teozrInuM sAhitya eTaluM vistRta ane bolatuM che ke temAMthI zuM avataraNa karIe. dareka pustaka hajAronI saMkhyAmAM prasiddha thaI janasamUhanA gRhe ane haiye vase che. temAMthI kaMI bodha tAravI lIdho. bodha : - 1999mAM nivAse pagalAM karavA padhAryA hatA. tyAre kahyuM ke satkAryo je paNa karI levAM che e Aje ane atyAre ja karI levA jevAM che kAraNa ke AyuSyano koI ja bharoso nathI. AyuSya kadAca lAMbuM hoya to ya puNyakarmano bharoso nathI ane puNyakarma jIvananA aMta samaya sudhI majabUta ja kadAca rahevAnuM hoya to ya ApaNA khudanA mananA zubha bhAvono koI bharoso nathI. jIvana vaMdanIya lAgatAM sana saMta ane prabhune anukaraNIya banAvI do. jIvana saphaLa banI jaze. dharmane jIvanamAM amalI banAvavo ja hoya to tAtkAlika zubha vicArane vibhAga-10 282 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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amalI banAvI do. ane sAthe sAthe pApothI bacavuM hoya to tevAM pApone amalamAM mUkavAnI bAbatamAM vilaMba karatA jAo. - A jIvanamAM mane je kAMI zubha ke suMdara maLyuM che te badhuM ya mAre puNyane ja ApavuM che e nirNaya para kadAca ApaNe na AvI zakIe, paraMtu e badhuM ya mane puNyathI ja maLyuM evI zraddhA to rAkhIe. puNyavAnane arthAt gADI-baMgalA-paisAvALAne sukhI mAnavA mana hajI taiyAra che, paraMtu dharmIne arthAt sAmAyika-pratikramaNa-tapazcaryA karavAvALAne sukhI mAnavA mana lagabhaga taiyAra nathI. A karuNA nahi to zuM che? aNasamaja che. adhikaraNa choDAvIne upakaraNa gurudeva kadAca ApI zakaze paNa ApaNAM mana-vacana-kAyAnA karaNa vaDe tenA saduupayogI aMta:karaNa to ApaNe ja taiyAra karavuM paDaze. jiMdagIno badho ja samaya tame jene ApI rahyA cho emAMnI eka paNa cIja AMkha baMdha thayA pachI sAthe AvavAnI nathI ane je cIja sAthe AvavA taiyAra che ene mATe tamArI pAse samaya ja nathI ? samakitanI prAptine jo samyak pariNAmanuM kAraNa ApaNe banAvavA mAgIe chIe to teno saraLa ane sacoTa eka ja vikalpa che : ApaNI pAtratA ApaNe vikasita karatA ja rahIe, karatA ja rahIe. dharmanuM zreSTha koTinuM phaLa che : "huM mArI sAthe bharapUra prasannatApUrvaka rahI zakuM chuM teja anubhUti'. AcAryazrI naravAhanasUrijIno paricaya ane bodha : sva. gacchAdhipati zrI vijaya rAmacaMdrasUrijInA ziSya (karmagraMthajJAtA) lagabhaga vIseka varSa pahelAM teozrI amadAvAda AvyA tyAre paricayanuM mAdhyama mAruM eka pustaka hatuM. tyAra pachI temanAM darzanArthe javAnuM kvacit banatuM hatuM. teo pote khUba prasiddhi thAya tevA kAryakramo karatA nathI. ethI khAsa jijJAsu hoya temane teozrIno paricaya thAya lagabhaga 2001 thI temanAM be cAturmAsa dazA poravADanA upAzrayamAM thayA tyAre teozrInA saraLa svabhAvano ane jJAnano nikaTathI paricaya thayo. teo sAhityanuM sarjana vizALapaNe karI rahyA che. temano vizeSa paricaya e che ke teo karmasAhityanA jJAtA che tema mArI maMgalayAtrA 283 vibhAga-1)

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sau jANe che. temanA darzana-vaMdana mATe koI saMkoca rAkhavo paDato nathI. temanA upAzrayanAM dvAra abhaMga hoya che. jyAre temanAM darzanArthe jAva tyAre sadAye AgamanA siddhAMtanA jJAnanI mastImAM ja masta hoya che. ane jJAnAmRtanuM ja pAna karatAM hoya che. karmagraMthane lagatI koI paNa mUMjhavaNa laIne temanI pAse jaIe to teno ukela eTalI saraLa bhASAmAM Ape ke tarata ApaNI samajamAM AvI jAya. karmagraMthane lagatA badhA AMkaDAonuM gaNitanuM to temanA manamAM eka komyuTara phiTa thaI gayuM hoya tema badhA javAba turata maLI jAya. temaNe lakhelA karmagraMthanI praznottarInAM pustako dvArA karmagraMthano abhyAsa khUba saraLa rIte karI zakAya tema che. temanI abhyAsa karAvavAnI rIta pahelAMnA gurukulo ane Azramo yAda AvI jAya tevI che. te samajAve ane sAthe sAthe badhuM ja lakhAve. dharmanI zarUAta kevI rIte karavI? teo haMmezAM kahe che ke dharmanI zarUAta mokSAbhilASathI thAya che. sukhano lAlacu ane duHkhathI kAyara dharma mATe lAyaka ja nathI. sukhathI je gabharAya ane duHkha jene gamatuM thaI jAya e dharma mATe lAyaka che. anukULatAno rAga choDo ane pratikULatAno dveSa choDo. A temano jIvanamaMtra che ane badhAne A maMtra Ape che. paradezathI AvanAra jijJAsu satsaMgIone meM jyAre teonI pAse mokalyA che tyAre te badhAne sadharma haiyAmAM UtarI jAya ane zAsana pratye bahumAna thAya tevI rIte sadAya AcAryazrI samaja Ape che. Ama teo jaina samAjanA upakArI che. "sau mokSAbhilASI bano. eka vAra Atmazuddhi mATe jhUkI paDo tamAruM zreya tamArA hAthamAM che." teoe AcAryanI padavIne 40 varSothI dhAraNa karela che. chatAM khUba ja saraLa, saumya che. sva. pU. viduSI sAdhvIzrI sulocanAjI : tame mArA anya prasaMgo parathI joyuM haze koI eka pratibhAzIla vyaktino paricaya tamane keTalA aMkoDA gUMthI Ape che. teozrI mATe mane vizeSa mAhitI nathI chatAM mAre RNa adA karavA paricaya ApavAno che. teono paricaya mane pU. AcAryazrI bhadraguptajInA nimittathI thayo hato. pachI to yoga hoya tyAre huM temanA vaMdanArthe jatI. teo zAstrAbhyAsI hatAM. dravyaguNa paryAyanA rAsa jevA viSayonA graMthanI tathA evA gUDhArtha 284 mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-10

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graMthonI racanA teoe karI hatI. zabda-vyAkaraNamAM nipuNa hatAM. prAraMbhamAM te samaye teone graMthaprakAzanamAM muzkelIo naDI hatI. paraMtu teo zAsanasevAnA bhAvathI te kArya karatAM rahyAM. meM jyAre "jaina saiddhAMtika zabda paricaya" lakhavAnuM zarU karyuM tyAre tenI kaThinAIno mane khyAla na hato. vaLI mane ema ke koI sAdhumahAtmAnI sahAya maLI raheze. vaLI e mAruM svataMtra lakhANa na hatuM. paraMtu anyatrathI saMgraha karyo hato. lakhANa taiyAra thayuM. lagabhaga 400 jeTalAM pAnAM, zabdo paNa traNa hajAra jevA kharA. meM eka-be paricita AcAryazrIne A lakhANa batAvyuM ke mane ApanA koI ziSya pAse AnuM saMzodhana karAvI Apo. mane javAba maLyo ke A kAma mATe vyAkaraNanI jANakArI joIe. anya graMthonI jarUra paDe. tethI A kAma karavAnuM amArA ziSyothI banaze nahi. vaLI eka evA vidvAna sAdhu maLyA paNa temaNe kahyuM ke A pustaka vecANamAM na mukAya to ja mArAthI banaze. pustaka jaina prakAzana jevA rAkhe eTale vecANa thAya. jJAnabhaMDAromAM ke anyatra bheTa mukAya. AthI mAruM kAma muzkelImAM paDyuM. eka vAra pAlItANA hatI. tyAM eka mahArAjazrIne maLI, temaNe teonuM nAma sUcavyuM. tyAre teo paNa pAlItANA hatA. temaNe dasa paMdara divasamAM A kAma saraLatAthI joI ApyuM. teono mane paricaya hato eTale ame anyonya sabhAva dharAvatA hatA. teo TUMkamAM bodha ApatA. dharma sAcI bhAvanAthI karo. klezathI dUra rahevuM. zAstrAbhyAsa karIne cittanI zuddhi karavI. teo svayaM svAdhyAyamAM rata rahetA. mArA para temanuM RNa hovAthI temane kema bhUlI javAya. hAla teo kALadharma pAmyA che. pU. sAdhvIzrI nayaprabhAjI (maunI) : agAu jaNAvyuM tema sAdhusamAjamAM tamAro saMparka thAya eTale tamane tevA yoga maLyA ja kare. pU. nayaprabhAjI, sva. AcArya bhagavaMta zrI bhadrakarasUrijInA AjJAvartI che. baMne baheno bALavayamAM dIkSita thayAM hatA. savizeSa teo grAmavistAramAM vadhu rahetA ke jyAM ArAdhanAno pUrato yoga maLI rahe. temanI pAse AvanArane sUtra ke navakAramaMtranuM anusaMdhAna laIne ghaNuM saMkSipta samajAve. mArI maMgalayAtrA 285 vibhAga-1)

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koI jagAe prasaMgopAtta mAro svAdhyAya hato, teo tyAM upasthita hatAM. tyAre mane paricaya thayo. vaLI mArA jANavAmAM AvyuM ke teo to vIsa bAvIsa jevA kalAka mauna rAkhe che. kobA kendra chUTyA pachI mArI mauna ArAdhanA vikSepa thaI hatI. parva tithie dasa sAmAyika nivAse karuM. AthI mane temano paricaya ruci gayo. ethI koI parvatithimAM huM temanI sthiratA hoya tyAM pahoMcI jatI, dezAvagAsika (dasa sAmAyika) maunathI karavAmAM ghaNI saraLatA rahetI. vaLI sAmAnya divasomAM dara mAse eka vAra teonI pAse jAuM. lagabhaga teo mArI pAse koI graMtha vaMcAve. svabhAve saraLa ane namra, prasannatA to temane varelI. eka vAra meM teonI prasannatAnuM kAraNa pUchayuM. kahe ke "huM vizvamAM sau caitanyanA kalyANanI bhAvanA karuM chuM eTale mAruM mana prasanna rahe che." Ape ATalA kalAka mauna kema lIdhuM che ? mArAthI tapa ke zAstrAbhyAsa thato nathI. eTale pU. AcAryazrIe mane be kalAka mauna ApyuM hatuM. temanA AziSathI vRddhi thatAM Aje bAvIsa kalAka saraLatAthI mauna thAya che." tyAre zuM karo ? mane paNa zikhavADo. "zvAsa sAthe navakAra, anya japa, samovasaraNanI racanAnuM mAhAbhyA ane ciMtana, sarva jIvonA kalyANanI bhAvanA, paramAtmAnI atyaMta ahobhAvathI bhakti, svAtmAnuM ciMtana. vaLI amArI rojanI Avazyaka kriyAo paNa hoya. jo ke teoe koI anubhavI pAse cakronI zakti paNa jANI che. eTale te rIte UMDANathI dhyAna kare che. maunamAM temanI e zaktithI sadA - prasanna hoya che. hAla paganI takalIphathI amadAvAdamAM sthAyI thayAM che. paraMtu temanI mauna sAdhanA avirata cAle che. phakta sAMje 4 thI 6 nakkI samaye ja mauna choDe che. pAMcatithi pUrNa mauna pALe che. dhanya che mInIjIne ! savizeSa ame pU. paMnyAsajInA "AtmautthAnano pAyo' graMthano svAdhyAya karatAM. jethI vaMdanArthe AvelA bhAviko teno lAbha laI zakatA. Ama sAdhujanono subhagayoga A kALamAM mahapuNya che. vibhAga-10 286 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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amerIkAnI satsaMgayAtrA losaeMjalIsamAM vINA nivAse parimalanA nimitte svAdhyAya goSTi zrI girISabhAI, suzIlAbahena, vINA, 1989 avakAze mauna ane lekhanamAM lIna vINA nivAse zrI girISabhAI tathA mahendrabhAI sAthe losaeMjalIsamAM svAdhyAya varganA prAraMbha viSe vicAraNA, 1991

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amerIkAnI salaMgayAtrA nyuyorkamAM sudhA praphullabhAI lAkhANI nivAse pU. AtmAnaMdajInA sAnidhyamAM (zrI somacaMdabhAI DAbIbAju) sAnaojhamAM derAsaranI pratimAjInI prANa pratiSThA samaye zAMtikaLaza pUjAmAM, amerIkA

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amerIkAnI satsagayAtrAnI sArthakatA * 1989 mAM vyavahArika prasaMge prathama pravAsa (eka durghaTanA) * pU. zrI naMdiyazAjIno bodha che. amadAvAdanA satsaMga tathA satsaMgIo * amerIkAnI anokhI bheTa parimalanuM parimala 1991 thI 2004 satsayAtrA eTale maMgalayAtrAnuM eka aMga * amerIkAmAM zrI paryuSaNaparvanI ArAdhanA tathA svAdhyAyanuM suvyavasthita Ayojana * amerIkAnuM pravAsIo mATenuM zistabaddha ane suvyavasthita prazaMsanIya taMtra * zAstrAbhyAsa, tattva jijJAsA, vrata-niyama tathA tapa jevA anuSThAnono Atmika abhigama * ArAdhakono AMzika paricaya :- zrImatI vINA mahendrabhAI, zrImatI suzIlA girISabhAI, zrImatI urvazI virenabhAI, zrI rajanIbhAI zAha, zrI nautamabhAI vakIla (amadAvAda) 'sukhI rahe saba jIva jagata meM, koI kabI na ghabarAve, vaira pApa abhimAna choDa, jaga nitya naye maMgala gAve, ghara ghara carcA rahe dharma kI, duSkRta duSkara ho jAve, jJAna carita unnata kara apanA, manuja janmaphala saba pAve.

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saMpattihIna daridra mANasa ciMtAmaNi ratnanA svarUpane jANanAro hoya to tenI prAptinA upAyane choDIne bIjI pravRtti kare nahi, jo kare to te ciMtAmaNine jANanAro nathI. tema azuddha avasthAmAM rahelo jIva azuddha avasthAnA du:khane ane zuddha avasthAnA sukhane kharekhara jANato hoya to te azuddha avasthA TALIne zuddha avasthA meLavavAnA upAyamAM pravRtti karyA sivAya rahI zake nahi. enA upAyanuM nAma samyaga darzanAdi kriyA che. tathA zuddha azuddha avasthAnAM svarUpanuM sAcuM jJAna te samyagU jJAna che. mokSa ho ke saMsAra ho pratyeka kAryanI siddhimAM jJAna kriyA paraspara maLelA che. 1 - pU. paMnyAsajI bhadraMkaravijayajI

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amerikAno sakAraNa prathama pravAsa dIkarI-jamAI sAtheno vyAvahArika prasaMga : 1989mAM amerikA prathama vAra javAnuM prayojana to vyavahArika kAraNathI hatuM. dakSAnA pati (jamAI) niraMjanane kensarano vyAdhi thayo. temane amerikA laI javAnuM nakkI karyuM. dakSAne madadarUpa thavA ane manobaLa Take te mATe koIe sAthe javuM ema nakkI thayuM. niraMjananAM mAtA-pitAne anukULa na hatuM. tethI mAre javAnuM thayuM. amAre saune losa eMjalIsamAM niraMjananAM bahena-banevInA nivAse rahevAnuM hatuM. kobA AzramanA nivAsa samaye ahIM rahetA koI satsaMgI mitrono paricaya thayo hato. AthI puNyayoga ke gurukRpAthI tyAM mane satsaMga-svAdhyAyano yoga maLI gayo. 1989nA mArcamAM ame tyAM pahoMcyA. losa eMjalIsamAM rahetAM DaoN. maNibhAI ane savitAbahena mahetA temanA paricita hatAM, tethI niraMjanane maLavA AvyA. teo mane paNa oLakhatAM hatAM. daMpatI paropakArajIvI, sAttvika ane satsaMga premI hatAM. temaNe tyAMnA senTaramAM dara guruvAre sauprathama mArA svAdhyAya goThavI dIdhA. teo mane laI jatA ane bIje divase hospiTale jatAM mUkI jatA. DaoN. zrI maNibhAI niSNAta DaoNkTara che. samAjamAM A daMpatInuM agragaNya sthAna dharAve che. - tyAra pachI bIjI be-traNa jagAe khabara maLyA, ethI nyUjarsI, DITroiTa vigere sthaLe paNa anukULatAe svAdhyAyano kAryakrama sArI rIte thayo. niraMjanane kaMI sAruM jaNAya tyAre AvA kAryakrama thayA te kAraNe amerikAmAM sauno paricaya thayo. amAre be-traNa mAsa rokavAnuM hatuM. niraMjananI mAMdagI jIvaleNa hatI. amadAvAdanA DokaTaroe cha mAsanI avadhi batAvI hatI. paraMtu mAnave AzAvAdI che. eka taka levA tyAM javAnuM banyuM hatuM. temanA bahena DaoNkTara hatAM tethI badhuM goThavAI gayuM. paraMtu kaMI sudhAro jaNAto na hato. temanI sAravAramAM sahAya karatI. vaLI koI vAra prArthanA karatAM, gharanA kAmamAM paNa madadarUpa thatI. niraMjana svabhAve paragaju. hAIkorTanA plIDara tarIke khUba khyAti hatI. khUba kartavyaniSTha hatA, tevA ja bAhoza hatA. paNa meM joyuM ke A mArI maMgalayAtrA 289 vibhAga-11

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darde temane hatAza karI nAkhyA ane temanuM zarIra paNa khUba nabaLuM thaI gayuM. chatAM temane ema ke huM kAma para caDhI jAuM tevo kyAre thaIza ? zuM AjanA vijJAne ATalI zodha karI che, te paNa kAma nahi Ave ! tyAre mane dharma-vijJAnathI javAba maLato ke A to azAtAnuM pUrvasaMcita karma udayamAM AvyuM che, temAM vijJAnanA bApa paNa pahoMcI na zake. mRtyu jitAya nahi ane jIte te jinendra hoya che, je dharma-vijJAnanA sarvocca sthAne che. sAmAnya mAnava paristhitine AdhIna hoya che. yadyapi khAsa sudhAro jaNAto na hato, chevaTe ame lagabhaga jUna mAsamAM pAchA pharyA. huM laMDana eka mAsa rokAIne gaI. teo amadAvAda pahoMcyA. ekAda mAsa kaMIka ThIka lAgyuM. paraMtu A roganA niSNAta DaoNkTare to hAtha UMcA karI ja dIdhA hatA. lohI ApavA vagerenI kriyAo cAlu hatI. Ama chatAM teo mRtyu tarapha jaI rahyA hatA te nakkI hatuM. - chevaTe DaoNkTare kahyuM ke "have paMdara divasathI vadhu samaya jaze nahi. niraMjana moTA vakIla che, vaLI keTalAMka vyavahArika kAryo paNa mulatvI rAkhyAM hoya mATe tamAre temane jaNAvavuM joIe. ane dakSAbahenane paNa jANa karavI joIe.' amArA mATe A kaTokaTI hatI. paraMtu amArA kuTuMbamAM amArA bhANeja jamAI DaoN. sureza zAha tabIbI kArya mATenA salAhakAra hatA, amArI saMbhALa rAkhatA. chevaTe temaNe niraMjanane A vAta kahI. vAta muzkela hatI, koI mANasane kahevuM ke tAruM amuka divase mRtyu che te saMsAra saMbaMdhe ghaNuM du:khadAyaka che. niraMjana e sAMbhaLIne zAMtithI bolyA : "bhale'. dakSAne paNa vAta karI te ghaNI asvastha thaI gaI. joke niraMjana zArIrika vedanAthI mUMjhAyelA hatA. vaLI surubhAIe e paNa kahyuM ke tamAre koIne kaMI kahevA ke lakhavAnuM hoya to te paNa vicAravuM paDaze. teo hajI svastha hatA. temanA mitra vakIlane bolAvyA. je kaMI vyavahArika vidhi hatI te svasthacitte patAvI. jANe have temaNe svIkArI lIdhuM ke javAnuM nakkI ja che. chevaTe kALanI phALa, niraMjananI ciravidAya : je kaMI sAravAra hatI te cAlu hatI. paraMtu te badhuM zarIrane sAtha ApatuM na hatuM. chevaTe kALanI phALa bharAI, oNgasTanI tA. 10 nA roja savAre ame sau dhImA avAje navakAra maMtranuM raTaNa karatAM hatAM, tyAre 45 varSanI vaye niraMjane A pArthiva dehano tyAga karyo. vibhAga-11 ra90 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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jJAnIo kahe che ke mRtyu pAse jIva azaraNa che. DaoNkTaranI hAjarI, sagAM-svajanonI hAjarI, patnI-putro-mitronI hAjarI, navakAramaMtranuM raTaNa, chatAM kALe tenuM kArya tenA samaye karyuM. ane sau nirAza vadane sajaLa nayane jotAM rahyAM. jJAnIo kahe che zarIrAdino saMyoga che teno viyoga avazya thavAno che. paraMtu puruSanI chAyAmAM, dharmanA zaraNamAM je deha choDe che te azaraNa chatAM tene zaraNa che, samAdhi che. vaLI kahyuM che ke mRtyu sAthe maitrI hoya, mRtyu kadI AvavAnuM ja nathI tevI khAtarI hoya te bhale sukhe sUe. janma ane maraNano svIkAra karavAnI mAnavInI samaja sAmAnya rIte prajJAyukta nathI hotI. AthI mRtyuno bhaya ane duHkha mAnavIne duHkhI kare che. niraMjane vyApAra kSetre ghaNo yaza prApta karyo hato. ghaNA kuzaLa ane niSNAta vakIla tarIkenI temanI khyAti hatI. temane temanA kSetramAM hajI paNa ghaNI vikAsanI tako dekhAtI hatI. atyaMta prAmANikapaNe, sadAcArayukta ane paropajIvI temanuM jIvana hatuM. jevI bAhozIthI jIvyA tema mRtyune svIkArIne svastha citte vyavahArika kArya patAvyAM. dakSA niraMtara temanI pAse ja rahetI. chevaTe temanA mukhamAMthI udgAra nIkaLyA "dakSA huM jANuM chuM mArA javAthI tame duHkhI thazo paNa have koI upAya nathI." dakSAe mane A vAta karI hatI ke te samaye ame baMne raDI paDayAM hatAM. pachI meM ja mana daDha karI temane zAMta karyA. dakSAe chellI paLa sudhI manamAM duHkhano bhAra chatAM svastha citte sevA karI. pachIno samaya to kAramo hato. saMsAranI A ja cAle che, koNa chaTakI zakyuM che ! vyaktinuM ke vyaktinA svajananA mRtyuno divasa jANIne manane svastha rAkhavuM kaThina che. prArabdha sarjelI karuNatA : be-traNa divasa pachI baLeva hatI. niraMjananI traNe bahenone AzA hatI ke rakSAbaMdhana sudhI bhAI haze. tethI rAkhaDI lAvI rAkhI hatI. jIva sahita jIvanI vyavasthA ane nirjIva dehanI vyavasthAmAM gajabanuM aMtara che. te pramANe niraMjananA pArthiva dehanI aMtima vidhinI taiyArI thaI gaI. ane bahenoe rudana sAthe e deha para rAkhaDI mUkI tyAre hAjara rahelA koI paNa potAnAM AMsu rokI na zakyAM. niraMjananI nanAmI mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-11 291

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aMtima vidhi mATe zabavAhinImAM vidAya thaI. huM paNa ghaDIbhara hAlI gaI ke A zuM banyuM ? atula paNa ghaNo vyathita thaI gayo hato. e ja punarAvartana? cAra varSanI uMmare meM mAnI goda gumAvI hatI. dakSAe cAra varSe pitAno khoLo gumAvyo hato. meM bharayuvAnImAM patinuM duHkhada avasAna joyuM, vekyuM. dakSA prauDha hatI 42 varSanI, paNa e ja punarAvartana thayuM ? dakSAnI dazA dayanIya banI gaI. jJAnIo kahe che : oha! vizva AkhuM parivartanazIla che. sImA mAnavI AMkI zakto nathI. jIvananI rojanI prakriyAthI mAMDIne jaMtu Adi sau janmamaraNanuM punarAvartana karyA kare che. jJAnIoe temAMthI ja saMzodhana karI vairAgyanI cAvI vaDe nivaNanI prApti karI. jethI janmamaraNanuM punarAvartana samApta thAya. te jJAnIjanoe bodha temaja karyo. tyAra pachI huM nivAse AvI. snAnAdithI paravArI dakSA pAse javA bahAra nIkaLatI hatI. nivAse roja bapore 3 thI 4 svAdhyAyanA vargo cAlatA hoya che. je bahenone khabara na hatI te baheno AvI gayAM. takSaNa mane lAgyuM ke A paNa yogya thayuM, eka kalAka satsaMgathI mAruM mana vizeSa svastha thaze, ane baLapreraka thaze. eTale rojanI jema svAdhyAya svastha citte karyo, aMtaramAM kaMIka chUpI vedanA jarUra hatI. paraMtu e eka kalAka baLapreraka to banyo ja. vItarAganI vANImAM keTaluM yogabaLa che te tyAre samajAyuM. ane karelA satsaMganuM mAhAbhya vizeSapaNe anubhavyuM. dakSAnI sthiti svAbhAvikapaNe ghaNI nAjuka hatI. temanuM jIvana sAMsArikapaNe sukhada hatuM. be dIkarA 11 thI 14 varSanA hatA. lokaabhiprAye kAco saMsAra hato, anya Arthika saMpannatA hatI. Ama jIvane ema thAya ke badhuM barAbara goThavAI gayuM che. tyAM ja azubhanA yoge dhAreluM dhULa thaI jAya tevI dazA hatI. svajananA mRtyu pachI kaMI saMsArano vyavahAra aTakI jato nathI, teno krama cAlato ja rahe che. ema dakSAnA jIvanano vyavahAra cAlato hato. samasyAo UbhI thatI, vaLI samAdhAna thatuM. be dIkarAone hajI bhaNAvavAnA hatA; vyApAra-dhaMdhe caDhavAnI eka dazakAnI vAra hatI. dakSA pAse vakIlAtanI sanada hatI. saunI salAha hatI ke dakSA have vakIlAta kare tyAM sudhI dIkarA taiyAra thaze. ane dakSA paNa pravRttimAM rahI TakI zakaze. dakSA hajI nirNaya para AvI na hatI. AvI carcAo kuTuMbamAM ane mitromAM cAlatI hatI. eka divasa vibhAga-11 292 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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te mArI pAse beThI hatI. meM pUchyuM : "tuM vakIlAta na kare to tamAruM jIvana nabhe tevuM sAdhana che." "hA." ""hamaNA rahIe chIe te rIte rahI zakIe, thoDo pheraphAra karavo paDe, te sivAya kaMI agavaDa nathI." ' kahyuM : "jo, be gADI che, gharamAM DrAIvara tathA bAI vigere che. sukhethI khAI-pIne rahI zako tema cho to pachI A vakIlAtano vaLagADa javA de. e vaLagaNa pachI nahi chUTe. have jyAre AvI duHkhada paristhiti pedA thaI che to punaH AvA duHkho na Ave te mATe dharmamArga grahaNa kare to tAruM kalyANa che. ATha-dasa varSe bALako kamAtAM thAya tyAM sudhI oNphisa calAvavI, korTamAM AMTA pherA karavA temAM paNa kaMI zAMti nathI maLavAnI ke duHkha ochuM thavAnuM nathI; khAlI mane kyAMka rokAyeluM rahe. have manane rokavuM che to dharmamArga uttama che. kadAca thoDI karakasara karIe to paNa temAM hita che." dakSAno dhArmikakSetre praveza: dakSAnA zvasura pakSanAM sagAMonI, traNe bhaNelAM naNaMdonI salAha to oNphisa vigere cAlu rAkhavAnI hatI jemAM bALakonuM hita hatuM. paraMtu puNyayoge dakSAne mArI vAta samajAI. ane teNe sAteka divasa pachI nivAse satsaMgamAM AvavAnuM zarU karyuM. vaLI sadbhAgye A divasomAM viduSI, vAtsalyamaya, prasannavadanA sAdhvI pU. zrI naMdiyazAzrIjI upasthita hatAM. mane temanI AdhyAtmikatAno paricaya hato. tethI temanA pratye mane ahobhAva hato. dakSAne huM temanI pAse laI gaI. mArA manamAMthI sahasA ja udgAra nIkaLyA ke "huM to janmadAtA mA chuM, mArAmAM rAganA bhAva hoya te svAbhAvika che. tame dharma-kalyANadAtA mA cho, tamane soMpuM chuM, tene AtmazAMti maLe tema tamAre saMbhALa rAkhavAnI che." koI zubha RNAnubaMdhathI dakSAne teonI sAthe khUba ja anukULa paDyuM. te Aje paNa temane gurupade mAne che ane mArgadarzana meLave che. temanI sthiratA hoya tyAre ane anyatra hoya tyAre temanI pAsethI bodha meLavyA kare che. thoDA paricaya pachI teoe dakSAne sacoTa bodha Apyo ke "niraMjananA mRtyunA bhAge tane dharmaprApti thaI che tene have vaLagI raheje.' dakSAnI smaraNazakti paNa sArI che. AthI vaLI meM tene paMcapratikramaNa mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-11 293

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sUtra, navatattva, tattvArthasUtrano abhyAsa karavA preraNA ApI. kAraNa ke bALavayamAM zIkheluM ghaNuM bhulAI gayuM hatuM. eTale pacidiyasUtrathI zarU karavAnuM hatuM. zokagrasta jIvanamAM jo zubha pravRtti na hoya to ArtadhyAnathI jIvana viSAdamaya banI jAya. mane ema hatuM ke thoDo vakhata mAnavasevAnuM kAma kare ane thoDo vakhata abhyAsa-satsaMga kare. teNe tenA mitrone vAta karI ane lagabhaga paMdara jeTalAM baheno bhegAM thayAM. saue abhyAsa zarU karyo. lagAtAra pAMca varSamAM upara mujaba abhyAsa karyo. joke temAM mAnavasevAnuM kArya goThavAyuM nahi, khera. huM tene kahetI, "vaidhavyamAM meM ghaNuM ArtadhyAna karyuM che, tethI mAre tane ArtadhyAnathI zakya teTalI dUra rAkhavAnA bhAva hovAthI tene dhaMdhAne badale AtmArtha tarapha laI javA doravaNI ApuM chuM. tAruM sadbhAgya che ke tane svaruci thaI ane A mArge prayANa karyuM." Ama AtmakalyANane mArge tenuM jIvana vahetuM hatuM. tyAM pUrvakarma saMcita azAtAnA udaye tene chAtInuM kensara thayuM. dharmanA bodhathI rasAyeluM mana hovAthI tene ati lobha na thayo. niraMjananA kensarano hevAla vAMcIne gabharAI gaI hatI. potAnA dardano hevAla svasthatAthI svIkArI lIdho. mane kahe tame mA cho paNa phikara na karatAM mArA manamAM bhagavAna vasyA che. je kaMI thaze te sAruM ja thaze. vaLI te divasomAM pU. A. zrI kalApUrNajInAM tathA zrI ratnasuMdarajInAM AzIrvacana maLyAM. nidAna pramANe oNparezana thayuM. kensaranuM darda bhayaMkara che, tenI sAravAra paNa bhayaMkara che. kimotherepInI dAruNa vedanAmAMthI zAMtithI pasAra thaI. karmanA udaya Ama ja bhogavAya tevuM daDha manobaLa hatuM. ane navakAramaMtranuM zaraNa hatuM eTale samatAthI samaya pasAra thayo. kyAreka AMtarika mUMjhavaNa thAya tyAre bhaktinI zraddhAthI TakI jatI. mitro satsaMgI hatA eTale vAtAvaraNamAM tenI suvAsa hatI. svajano ke putro pAse e viSe bahu carcA na karatI. DaoNkTara kahe te badhA upAya karatI. ramonA-atule paNa tenI khUba saMbhALa rAkhI. vaLI traNa varSa pachI dardanI kaMI asara thaI tyAre paNa e ja samatAthI svIkArI lIdhuM ane sAravAra lIdhI. satsaMgI mitro AvatA, bhaktipado gAtAM Ama teno samaya sAttvika rIte pasAra thato hato. pote svastha rahetI eTale kuTuMbIjanone paNa svasthatA rahetI. vibhAga-11 mArI maMgalayAtrA 294

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A divasomAM mAre amerikA javAnuM thayuM. te kaheH "mArA nimitte satsaMgamAM aMtarAya na karatA. ahIM dIkarA, vahu, bhAI, bhAbhI ane mArA mitro che. tame jarAya phikara na karatA." ane huM amerikA gaI. yadyapi manamAM dakSAnI tabiyatano vikalpa UThato. tyAM vaLI tyAMnA mitroe phonanAM kArDa ApyAM, AthI dara trIje divase tenI sAthe vAta karatI hatI. joke tene dasa divasamAM sAruM thayuM hatuM. Aja sudhI darada to che, sAravAra le che, sAthe bhakti, satsaMga ane saMtasamAgamathI prasanna rahe che. A darda thayuM te pUrve dakSAnI preraNAthI tenA thoDA mitro satsaMgamAM tenI sAthe joDAyA. AthI temanI maMDaLIe lagabhaga dasa varSamAM yAtrAonuM Ayojana karyuM. temAM lagabhaga pUruM rAjasthAna, gujarAta, ghaNuMkharuM mahArASTra ane anya sthaLonI darzanayAtrAo amArA satsaMga maMDaLe suMdara rIte karI. A dareka yAtrAmAM vaDIla jevA dharmapremI zrI padmAbahena araviMdabhAI sAthe AvatAM. araviMdabhAI zaMkhezvaratIrthanA TrasTI hovAthI amane dareka tIrthamAM AdarabhAva ane khUba suvidhAo maLatI. padmAbahena vaDIla tarIke saunI saMbhALa rAkhatA. mArA paranA ahobhAvathI badhI ja caryAnI saMbhALa letA. paDachAyAnI jema sAthe rahetA. tyAra pachI nAnI mitramaMDaLIe amadAvAdanAM zaheranA derAsaronI yAtrA pUrNa karI. A kAraNe tenAmAM bhaktiyoga vikAsa pAmyo, temAM tenA AtmAne khUba zAMti maLI. satsaMga dvArA samatA keLavAtI gaI. nAnuM moTuM tapa thatuM gayuM. bhaktipado zIkhavAno yoga paNa maLI raheto, satsaMga to hato ja. pote paNa svAdhyAya karAve che. Ama duHkhada paristhitine gauNa karI AtmakalyANano mArga pakaDI lIdho. AraMbhAdi kAryo gauNa thaI gayAM. puna: naMdiyazAjIno bodha maLyA karato. AvuM darda chatAM hajI paNa kyAMya navA tIrthanI vAta sAMbhaLe ke mitrone laIne doDI jAya. enA manamAM sadAya prabhudarzananI jhaMkhanA rahe. kensaranuM darda che, thoDI takalIpha thAya paNa tIrthayAtrAnuM tene jabaruM gheluM che. e kahe che ke jANe hajAro prabhunI pUjA karuM ne pAvana thAuM ! tenA gurujI kahetA, "dakSA, niraMjananuM mRtyu tane dharmanI bheTa ApI gayuM che, have tuM pAchI na paDIza. huM have ziSyAo karatI nathI paNa tArA mATe eka jagA rAkhI che." dakSA kahetI : ""mArAM bhAgya UghaDyA che paNa mArI tAkAta tamAruM vacana (cAritradharma) pALavAnI nathI. keLavAya tema AzA rAkhuM chuM." mArI maMgalayAtrA rahyuM vibhAga-11

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svabhAva bhadrika hovAthI kaSAyanI maMdatAne kAraNe tenI pAtratA vikasatI jAya che. vaLI mArI sAthe uttama mahAtmAo, AcArya bhagavaMtono paricaya thato gayo. pU. zrI ratnasuMdarajI, pU. zrI yazovijayasUrIzvarajI, pU. zrI pradyumnasUrIzvarajI, pU. zrI naravAhanasUrIzvarajI jevA AcAryonuM paNa sAnnidhya maLavAthI jIvanamAM prasannatA pAMgarI te mahatu puyoga thayo. vaLI oNphisanAM kAryomAM kaMI garabaDa thatI. tethI te kArya baMdha karyuM. nAnAmoTA anya saMgharSo-prasaMgo banatA, paraMtu temAM te samAdhAna meLavI letI, gurujanonA bodhathI ArtadhyAna gauNa banatuM. bIjI moTI takalIpha na hatI. mitro sAthe satsaMganA nAte baMdhAyelI eTale e saMbaMdho nirdoSa hovAthI teno samaya prasannatAthI pasAra thAya che. - 2005nA eprilanA moTara-akasmAte mane gaMbhIra IjAo thavAthI mArI bImArI cArathI cha mAsa sudhI rahI, tyAre teNe satata sAtha ApIne savizeSa mAruM ArAdhanAnuM baLa jaLavAya te rIte rojanAM anuSThAna karAvavAM, svAdhyAya karavo ane sAravAra karavAmAM ghaNo zrama lIdho. joke te zrama gaNAto nathI, paNa hArdika bhAva hato. te divasomAM pU. dIdIno mArI svAthya-kuzaLatAno sAttvika bhAvabharyo patra hato. vaLI temAM Atmika baLapreraka bodha hato, ane sevA karanAra mATe eka suvarNa jevuM vacana hatuM ke : "tamArI sevA karanArane satsaMgano lAbha che." Ama dakSA tathA atula-ramonA sau e ja bhAve sevA karatA hatA. mAnI sevA sAthe bhaktisatsaMga ema triveNI saMgamano eno bhAva mane paNa lAbhadAyaka hato. dakSAno A prasaMga lakhavAno uddeza mane bodhadAyaka jaNAyo che. saMsAramAM mahadaMze jIvamAtra vadhatA sukhane Icche, maLelA sukhane jALavavA Icche, ane temAM bhogavavAnuM sukha mAne AvuM chatAM e sukha keTalI zIghratAthI duHkhamAM pheravAI jAya che ! savizeSa evI paristhitimAM dharma je AtmazaktirUpa ane zuddhirUpa che te ja jIvane zAMti Ape che. te A prasaMgamAM samajavA jevuM lAgavAthI atre prastuta karyuM che. ApaNe sAMbhaLIe chIe ke deha to roganuM nivAsasthAna che. vinazvara che paNa tevo bodha pariNamavo te saMta-samAgame ja samajAya che. ane tevA yoga je jIvone maLe che te jIvo evA bhAvane TakAvI rAkhe che. jenA kAraNe jIvatA ke maratA samatA rahe che. vibhAga-11 ra96 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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roja niyamita pratikramaNa, sAmAyika, pUjAbhakti, satsaMgayAtrA, anuSThAna saullAsa kare che. svAdhyAya karavo ane karAvavo tene khUba anukULa che. bhaktiyogamAM tenI vadhu sthiratA che. tIrthATana e eno jIvanano lhAvo che. 2005nI AkharamAM mArI bImArImAM tattvanA graMthonuM vAMcana karyuM. ane zrI gokuLabhAInI keseTo sAMbhaLIne tenI tattvaviSayaka dRSTi paNa vikAsa pAmI che. zrI gokuLabhAInA svAdhyAyamAM javAthI tene deha-AtmA bhinna che, tema jANavuM, te vAta samajAtI jAya che. AthI aMtaramAM darda mATe rahelo chUpo bhaya zAMta thayo tema te kahe che. zrI gokuLabhAI nivAse Ave tyAre avAranavAra maLavAnuM thAya che. tyAre teo tene A daSTithI prAye bodha Ape che. zrI gokaLabhAI svayaM dravyadaSTinA abhigamavALA che. "svabhAvanA Azraye dharma thAya te temano vAraMvArano viSaya hoya che. huM paramAM kaMI karI zakuM chuM A bhramaNA choDI do to badhA vikalpa TaLI jaze. te dRSTi keLavavA tevo samAgama rAkhavo ane satyatattvanI zraddhA karavI, mArga A rIte che. tema teo bhArapUrvaka kahe che." zrI gokaLabhAInA samAgamathI tene ghaNo lAbha thayo, cittanI prasannatA TakI jAya che. ane AtmAne darda nathI te dehathI ane dardathI judo che te vicArabaLane keLavatI jAya che. ame mA-dIkarI dharmacaryAmAM sarakhI paddhatinAM hovAthI amArI sAdhanAmAM anyonya pUraka thavAnuM bane che, tethI ame maLIe tyAre sAMsArika, vyavahArika vAto atigauNa hoya, ke prasaMgopAtta hoya. te sivAya mukhyatve satsaMga, vAMcana amAruM mAdhyama hoya che. arthAt ame kalyANamitronI jema rahyA chIe. Ama sAteka varSa thayAM ne zAlIna moTo dIkaro elaela.bI. thayo. dakSAe vicAryuM ke amerikA jaIne ela.ela.ema. kare to sAruM. joke eTaluM moTuM kharca karavAnI thoDI takalIpha hatI. paraMtu te jogavAI mitro dvArA thaI, ane eka varSamAM dIkaro amerikA kolaMbasa yuni.mAM bhaNIne Avyo. te daramyAna tenAM lagna thayAM, ane amerikA barAbara goThavAyuM nahi tethI pAcho amadAvAda Avyo. pitAjInI jema kuzaLa vakIla tarIke khyAti pAmato jAya che. te daramyAna bIjo dIkaro virala elaela.bI. thayo. dakSAe hiMmata karI mitronI sahAyathI tene paNa amerikA hArvarDa yuni.mAM bhaNavA mokalyo. mArI maMgalayAtrA 297 vibhAga-11

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te paNa sArI rIte bhaNIne Avyo. kuzaLa vakIla tarIke te paNa saMpanna thayo. darekanA devA paNa cUkavAI gayA. prAraMbhamAM lAgatuM ke dakSA khoTI hiMmata kare che. paraMtu badhuM goThavAI gayuM. viralanAM lagna thayAM, te saMsAramAM goThavAI gayo. saMsAranA prasaMgomAM zubhayoga hoya eTale jIvane lAge ke saMsAramAM badhuM barAbara goThavAI jAya che. vicAra karIe to varSo pahelAM dakSAniraMjanane lAgeluM ke jIvana vyavasthita goThavAI gayuM che, tyAre paNa prasaMgo to banatA ja hatA. teone judA rahevAnuM thayuM. tyAre kaMI niraMjananI sAdhanasaMpannatA na hatI. vaLI temanA pitA AdarzavAdI hatA. tethI niraMjanane jAte ja pagabhara thavAnuM hatuM. bhAgyayoge niraMjana cAra-pAMca varSamAM ja sArI rIte vyApAra vikasAvI zakyA. potAno baMgalo-oNphisa vagerenI jogavAI thaI ane lAgyuM ke have jIvana yogya rIte goThavAI gayuM che tyAM to niraMjanane kALe upADI lIdhA. sAruM evuM kharca paNa thayuM hatuM. chatAM dakSA sArI rIte rahe tevuM to hatuM. chatAM duHkha to yAda AvatuM te svAbhAvika hatuM. pUrvasaMcita karma bhogavyA vagara koNa chUTya che ? vaLI dIkarAo bhaNIne taiyAra thayA. lAgyuM ke vaLI badhuM goThavAI gayuM che. niraMjananI khoTa to kharI. chatAM sAMsArikapaNe punaH saMpattisaMpannatA goThavAtAM gayAM tyAM to pote kensaranI bImArImAM paTakAI gaI. Ama saMsAramAM kazuM ja sthAyI nathI. dharmavatsala pU. zrI naMdiyazAjIno abhyAkSarI paricaya tathA bodhaH amArAM svargastha satsaMgI manoramAbahena pU.zrInA paricayamAM AvyAM hatAM. teo cArUpa cAturmAsa hatAM, tyAre ame darzane gayAM hatAM. tyAre teonI kathaMcita traNa dasakAthI thoDI vaya vadhu haze, paraMtu temanI vANInI vidvattA, prakharatA chatAM mudharatAnAM darzana thayAM, prathama darzane ja mAruM mana temanA pratye AdarabharyuM banyuM. tyAra pachI teo amadAvAda AvyAM. ame satsaMgImitro temanI pAse abhyAsa karatA. temanI zaikSaNika paddhatimAM spaSTatA ane zraddhAnAM darzana thayAM. vaLI jayAre dakSAnA pati niraMjananuM avasAna thayuM, dakSAne mAthe du:kha AvI paDayuM. meM prathama divasathI ja tene satsaMgamAM vALavA prayatna karyo hato. paNa toya mAnI sagAI. mane lAgyuM ke tene tyAga, vairAgya ane vAtsalyabhAvavALA saMtanA samAgamanI jarUra che. AthI huM tene pU. vibhAga-11 298 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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zrI naMdiyazAjI pAse laI gaI, ane meM kahyuM huM janmadAtrI chuM tame dharmadAtrI mA cho, tamane soMpuM chuM. dakSAe paNa zira namAvI vAta svIkArI lIdhI. temaNe dakSAnuM ghaDatara A rIte karyuM. te tenA dvArA ja joIe. dakSAno ahobhAva : pU. naMdiyazAjInI vAta prabhukRpAthI eTalI sahaja rIte svIkArAI gaI emAM prabhusaMketa hato. mAe teozrIno paricaya karAvyo tyAre huM ISTaviyogane kAraNe atyaMta azubhadhArAmAM hatI. tyAre ArtadhyAna jevo zabda paNa khabara na hatI paraMtu mane temanI prasanna mudrA sparzI gaI. AvuM jIvana pratyenuM tadana vidheyAtmaka valaNa mArA sAMsArika anubhavamAM AvyuM nahotuM. teozrIno paricaya vadhatAM temano eka bodha manamAM barobara goThavAI gayo ke niraMjana marato gayo paNa tane sAcuM jIvana Apato gayo. mATe dharma evo karaje ke je bIjAne paNa karavA jevo lAge. teozrI haMmezAM kahe che ke dharma to prazaMsanIya hoya, pradarzanIya na hoya. jyAre paNa temanI nizrA maLe tyAre evo bodha Ape ke ApaNane jagatamAM duHkha jevI vastu lAge ja nahi. teo game te samasyA potAnI AgavI kaLAthI evI kholI nAkhe ke ApaNA jIvananuM vaheNa badalAyA vagara rahe ja nahi. temanI prasannatA atUTa che pachI e game te samaya hoya ke pachI koI paNa prakAranA pratikULa saMjogo, jevA ke koI azAtAno udaya. mane haMmezAM kahe ke "mane koI asAdhya roga thAya to mArA eka paNa rUMvADAmAM te aMge jarA paNa kSobha utpanna na thAya. badhAMne game tevA saMjogomAM temAMthI sArI ja vastunuM pAsuM batAve. amane badhAne kahe ke vicArajo ke lokomAM doSa hoya che ke tamane doSa jovAnI Teva paDI gaI che !' - darekanA jIvanamAM khUba UMDo rasa mAtAnA vAtsalyapUrvakano le. dareka maLanAra vyaktine teozrI potAnA hoya tevI pratIti thayA vagara na rahe. mArA 16 varSanA paricayamAM emanA mukhanI prasannatAmAM koI pheraphAra meM nathI joyo. temanAM jIvanamAM paNa temanA snehIonA viyoganA prasaMgo AvyA che paraMtu teoe e vAta AtmasAta karI che ke je saMyogamAM viyoganAM darzana karI zake che te koI paNa prasaMgano jIvanamAM sahaja rIte svIkAra karI ja zake che ane te ja jJAnInuM lakSaNa che. manuSyajIvana maLyuM che to parivartana karavA, nahi ke punarAvartana karavA. jIvananA badhA ja prasaMgomAM samAdhAna zodhI Ape te ja satyadharma - Avo temano AtmalakSI mArI maMgalayAtrA 29 vibhAga-11

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bodha che. nivAse tathA anyatra satsaMga svAdhyAya : 1984/8pathI sAmAjika pravRttiothI mukta thaI, pachI zrI IDara ityAdi sthaLe nivRtti mATe jatI, paraMtu jyAre nivAse houM tyAre ame baheno svAdhyAya karatAM, tyArapachI lagabhaga 1988mAM kobA AzramathI nivRtta thaI pachI keTalAka satsaMgIonI bhAvanAthI savAre saptAhamAM traNa divasa zrImad rAjacaMdra vacanAmRtanuM uttama bhAvAtmaka zailIthI adhyayana zarU karyuM hatuM, te hajI paNa cAlu che. baporanA svAdhyAyamAM sUtro, zAMtasudhArasa, prazamarati jevA graMthono abhyAsa thato. vaLI savAre sUtro tathA tattvArthasUtrano abhyAsa karanAro eka varga hato. A vargomAM kasoTIpatra rAkhavAmAM AvatuM e rIte nivAse AvatAM pacAsa jevA satsaMgIone tattvArthano abhyAsa thavAthI tattvadaSTi pratye ruci pedA thaI che. savAranA tattvArthasUtranA vargamAM vizeSa karI dakSAnA mitronI hAjarI rahetI. A uparAMta pU. zrI naMdiyazAjInA AdezathI jainanagaramAM sAmAyika maMDaLamAM, ane jaina maracanTa sosAyaTInA sAmAyika maMDaLamAM vargo cAle che. amArA sahAdhyAyIo 250/300 jeTalAM che, jeo ullAsapUrvaka vargamAM abhyAsa kare che. A sau sva-para zreyanI pravRtti gurukRpAnI prasAdI che. AthI saumAM sAtvikabhAvanuM sarjana thayuM che. jene kAraNe anyonya upakArakabhAva paNa vikAsa pAmyo che. vaLI anukULatAe IDara, pAlItANA jevAM sthaLoe nivRtti ane mauna sAdhanA karavAnuM thatuM. cAra mAsa paradezamAM mAro sAdhanAkrama jaLavAto; mauna, lekhana, zAstravAcanano ghaNo avakAza raheto. amadAvAdamAM upara pramANe sAdhanA thatI rahe che. chatAM pUrNatA pAmatA sudhI A sarva ati alpa ja che tema samajavuM ane vizeSa sanduruSArthamAM lAgavuM. amArA A vargonA zikSaNathI pAMca-sAta baheno svAdhyAya-vargo calAvavAnI kSamatA dharAve che. dakSAbahena paNa vargo calAve che. nivAse Avato satsaMgI samudAya ane sosAyaTInA sAmAyika maMDaLano samudAya lagabhaga eka ja praNAlIno che. jemAM kriyAnI vizeSatA hoya che. AthI mane saraLatA e rahI temanI pAse anuSThAna hatAM. temAM zuddhi ane svarUpalakSya karavA tattvadaSTine pUraka karavAnI hatI. te mATe prathama navatattva, tattvArthasUtranA abhyAsanuM mahAbhya saune samajAvyuM. pachI vibhAga-11 mArI maMgalayAtrA 3OO

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tattvadRSTiyukta adhyAtmasAra jevA graMthonA svAdhyAyathI tattvadRSTinuM mukhya hArda samajAvyuM. jemAM samyaktvanI mukhyatA mATe tene pUraka svAdhyAya thatA. AthI A satsaMgI-samUhamAM AMzika paNa saMtoSajanaka tattvabodhathI ruci pedA thavA pAmI te A vargonI saphaLatA che. sAthe sAthe jIvanamAM samatA, udAratA, saMgharSo nahi paNa samAdhAna zodhavuM evI daSTi maLI. rojiMdA jIvanamAM paNa zAMti, saMtoSa pedA thayAM. AthI mAtra kriyAvRddhine badale teo saumAM guNavRddhi pratye bodha pariNAma pAmyo teno AnaMda che. keTalAka to uttama tapasvI che. jJAnIjano kahe che tema pravRtti samyagu hovI jarUrI che. ane nivRttimAM manAdiyoganI gupti jarUrI che, tene mATe mauna ane dhyAnanI sAdhanAno avakAza maLI rahe che. vaLI amArAM maMDaLo tIrthayAtrAo yoje tyAre bhaktibhAvanA uttama kare. badhuM ja zistabaddha ane vyavasthita Ayojana hoya che, prasannatAbharyuM vAtAvaraNa hoya che. amArI yAtrAmAM sau savAra-sAMja pratikramaNa kare, bapore svAdhyAya. vAhanamAM bhaktipado gavAya. vAhanamAM kyAMya sAMsArika vAto thAya teNe dasa-vIsa rUpiyA dAna karavAnuM hoya che. derAsaramAM sAMje bhakti pachI dhyAnamAM besavAnuM hoya che. gAMdhAra tIrthamAM bhakti pachI sau zAMta thaI beThAM hatAM. arihaMtanuM dhyAna karavAnuM avalaMbana lIdhuM hatuM. pUjArIjI paNa beThelA, sau evA dhyAnamagna thayAM ke 9 thI 10-30 kaMI ja caMcaLatA na thaI. saune AnaMdano anubhava thayo je jIvanamAM eka smRti banI gaI. eka vAra mahuvAmAM zrI nemanAtha prabhunI bhakti karI sau zAMta thaI gayA. bhakti-gIta-guMjananA avalaMbanamAM khovAI gayAM. eka kalAka pachI sau UThayAM, saune zAMtino anubhava thayo. vaLI munImajI kahevA AvyA : ame to prathama vAra derAsaramAM AvuM vAtAvaraNa anubhavyuM. tame sau ahIM rahI jAva ane savAre A ja pramANe bhakti karo... amane paNa zIkhavA maLe. amArA satsaMgI samUhamAM AvA cirasthAyI anubhavo thAya che tethI saunA jIvanamAM parivartana thavAnI mokaLAza rahe che. A satsaMgIo vyaktigata rIte potAnA anubhava jaNAve tyAre samajAya che ke saune aMtarmukhatA pratyenuM valaNa samajAyuM che. mArI maMgalayAtrA 301 vibhAga-11

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sva. manoramAbahenanuM jIvanaparivartana ane manobaLa : garbhazrImaMta kuTuMbanAM manoramAbahenanuM jIvana pUrA saMsArI kramathI vahetuM hatuM. tyAM jaDabAnA kensaranI bhayaMkara vyAdhi thaI. temAMthI teone aMtara avAja Avyo ke have kaMI dharmanuM zaraNuM le. kyAre paNa sAdhujanono samAgama nahi. eTale kyAM javuM ! tyAM vaLI prajJAbahena nANAvaTIno meLApa thatAM, temanI pAsethI vigata meLavI te mArA nivAse satsaMgamAM AvavA lAgyAM. ane jinavANI, jinabhaktinA bhAva jAgrata thatAM tene anusaravA lAgyAM. vaLI temaNe pU. zrI naMdiyazAjIno paricaya thatAM. temaNe mane teono paricaya karAvyo hato. pote temanI pAsethI mArgadarzana meLavatA hatA. huM kahuM "moDA jAgyA cho eTale vadhu puruSArtha upADavo. ane mArgAbhimukha thavA aucitya vrata, niyama, Avazyaka kriyAo zAstravAMcana daDhapaNe niyamita karavA lAgyA. kaho ke maMDI paDyA. vacamAM vyAdhino upadrava samatAthI sahI letA. vaLI sarjarI karAvavAnI thaI, tyAre kahe ke huM roja prArthanA karuM chuM ke mane amerikA na laI jAya. amadAvAda sarjarI thAya to tamAro samAgama maLato rahe ane temanI prArthanA phaLI. te divasomAM huM kobA AzramamAM rahetI. sarjarInA eka saptAhathI roje eka kalAka AvatAM. bAra bhAvanAnuM zravaNa karatAM. sarjarI thaI bhAnamAM AvyAM. kahe ke bahenane bolAvI lAvo. huM tyAM gaI. mane izArAthI kahe mane pada saMbhaLAvo. vedanA chatAM temanuM manobaLa AvuM hatuM. koI vAra nAnI sarjarI thaI hoya to ghare javAne badale svAdhyAyamAM Ave. kahe: A zravaNamAM dehAdhyAsa chUTe che. mane AnaMda Ave che. zakya hoya to tIrthayAtrA kare. pAlItANA to mane sAthe laIne jAya. mArI sevA sevakanI adAthI kare. namratAthI bodha grahaNa karavo te temanI zrImaMtAI hatI. bahena, tame maLyA mAruM jIvana UjaLI gayuM.' pachI to ame sAdhu-bhagavaMtonI pAse paNa jatA. pU. AcArya bhagavaMta pAse temaNe spaSTa rIte svamukhe kahIne bhava AlocanA lIdhI. Ama karelAM pApo pakhALyAM. bhAvi pApomAM jAgrata thayAM. bhava sudhArI lIdho. devagurukRpAne pAtra thayAM. vibhAga-11 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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AkharI vyAdhi to jANe temane kasI levA cAre bAjuthI vIMTaLAI vaLyo. bhayaMkara vedanA. mukhanI jIbha to bahAra nIkaLI AvI. peTe kANuM pADI pAIpathI khorAka Ape. AvI asahya vedanA chatAM mane roja gADI mokalI bolAve. eka kalAka prasannatAthI svAdhyAya sAMbhaLe. koI vAra temane vAMse, page hAtha pheravuM.. temane zAtA maLatI hoya tema zAMti anubhave. vedanA asahya banatI hatI. temanI narsa paNa kahetI : temanAM karmo badhAM khapI javAnAM che eTale bhagavAne ATalI vedanA ApI haze ? eka vAra lakhIne kahe : ApaNA badhA svAdhyAyI mitrono svAdhyAya mArI pAse rAkho. ame e pramANe divasa nakkI karyo, temanA nivAse pahoMcyAM. teo sADImAM sajja thaIne beThAM hatAM. saune prasannatAthI AvakAra Apyo. svAdhyAya bhAvapUrvaka sAMbhaLyo. - tyAra pachI ekAda saptAha teoe bImArI bhogavI ciravidAya lIdhI. satsaMgI tarIke sadAya prasannatA ane temanI namratA amArA dilamAM aMkita che. satsaMgIono navaratna darabAra : satsaMganA vaDalAnI vizALa zAkhAo para amArA pAtrosatsaMgIonI anerI AbhA che. mArI citta smRti para temano Adara aMkAyelo che. konA guNa gAuM ! koIka to tapasvIo che, to koIka sevAbhAvI, to vaLI koIka abhyAsI, koIka bhajanIka, koIka vyavasthA zakti dharAve, koIka vaDIlo saune vAtsalya Ape. koIka tyAgI koIka vairAgI, koIka svAdhyAya kare karAve. Ama navaratna kahuM to vAta moTI jaNAya, ane teno vAMdho zo ? jayAM guNa che tyAM grAhakatA hovI jarUrI che. kapubahena-kalpanA bALabrahmacArI, jIdaMgI sudhInA AhAranI dasa vastu temAM zAka dUdhI ane kAkaDI. phaLa kerI ane keLAM, taLeluM ane copaDeluM tyAjya. bAkI rAma rAma. te divase kaMI tithi na hoya ane derAsaramAM prabhu sAme hAtha joDI paccakakhANa mAMge, zAnuM ! chaThThanuM ! zuM che ? prabhunA tapobaLe preraNA ApI. sAdhvIjanonI vaiyAvaccamAM badhA kyuM ne jANe. evA kAma hoya tyAre e cAle nahi doDe. mane paga dabAvavAnI Teva nahi. paNa e to paga pAse besIne hAtha prasAre. mane kahe mArA paga dUkhatA maTI jAya che. huM kahuM tArA AyaMbila joI mane AyaMbila thAya che. mArI maMgalayAtrA 303 vibhAga-11

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ekavAra kahe atyAra sudhI bahAra doDIne dharma mAnyo hato. tame to mArI AMkha ughADI, "kyu" aMdara jAva AtmAno dharma AtmAnA samabhAvamAM che." have tamAro sAtha kema chUTe ? badhAM ja satsaMgIoe tattvArtha zIkhavAmAM samyakatvanI bhAvanA pAkI karI lIdhI che. e vAta ghUTayA kare che. AthI to tAtvika zAstronA adhyayanamAM hoMzabharyA Ave che. sva-para zreyamAM sau hAtha milAve che. ekavAra meM kathA karI hatI ke bharayuvAnavaye ujamaphaInA pati gujarI gayA paNa zatruMjayanA navvANunI bhakti karavA dAdA pAse rahI gayA. bhakti na tyajI lokavyavahAra tyajyo. A vAta jANe caritArtha thaI hoya tema banyuM. amArA satsaMgI kirITabhAI saMghavI bAsaTha varSanI vaye hRdayaroganA humalAthI hamaNAMja ekA-eka avasAna pAmyA. temanI patnI latAe A ghaTanA saheje svIkArI lIdhI. svasthacitte patine vidAya ApI. huM gaI tyAre tenA mananA bhAva kevA ! saMta-bahena Ave raDAya kema ! dara vakhate jAuM ane je prasannatAthI bese tema beThI. satsaMga sAMbhaLyo. bahena bharayuvAnImAM Ape amAro hAtha pakaDayo, soLa jevA varasathI satsaMganA pATho bhaNAvyA. temAM upakAra Aje samajAya che. ke Ape Atmika vAto kevI lUMTAvI hatI ?" latA tuM kayAreka pUchatI ke bahena mAyA kema jatI nathI" huM kahetI satsaMgathI chUTavAnuM sevana thaI rahyuM che. te samaya Ave avAja Apaze. Aje kharekhara e mArmikatAnA darzana thayA. latA-kirITabhAI 19 ogaSTanA paryuSaNa karavA muMbaI javAnA hatA. latAnA gurumArgadarzaka muMbaImAM. sarayUbahena che. te kahetI mATe amadAvAda-muMbaI eka ja rAzinA guruno sumeLa che. yogAnuyoga 19mIe savAre ja kirITabhAIe ciravidAya thayA. sAMje tyAM gaI tyAre latA kahe ke Aje muMbaI sarayubahena pAse paryuSaNa ArAdhanA mATe jAuM chuM. tyAre mane ujama phaI yAda AvyA. meM kahyuM latA satsaMga phaLavAna thAya che te samajAyuM ne ? latAe svasthatApUrNa paryuSaNa ArAdhanA karI. AvA che amArA satsaMgIo. dIlIpa kahe "hA Ama ja javAnuM che. eTale ame paNa bhAbhInI jema ahIM paryuSaNamAM ArAdhanA karIzuM. ane ATha dasa divasa teNe paNa saMsAra, vyavahAra, vyApArane gauNa karI svasthacitte saunI sAthe ArAdhanA karI. vibhAga-11 304 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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Ama satsaMgIo have aMtarathI ane bahArathI saMsAranA kAryone gauNa karI aMtaraMga preraNAmAM vRddhi karatA jAya che. te tAdazya thatuM jaNAya janma, jarA, maraNa, zoka dehAdinA dharmo che. jayAre tevI Apatti AvI paDe tyAre saunI pAse satsaMganI DhAla che te anubhavAya che. vacamAM ApaNe manoramAbahena dakSAbahena vigerenA prasaMgo paNa jo yA. pallavIbahenanI yuvAna dikarI pUrvInA mRtyunA ghAne zamAvI pAlItANA prabhubhaktimAM pahoMcI gayA hatA ne AvA keTalAnA guNa gAuM? A pustakanA prakAzanano Adara-premapUrvaka sevAbhAvathI zrama karanAra jyoti-parAgabhAIno bAvIsa varSano yuvAna suputra malhAra cira vidAya thayo. e duHkhada samAcArathI paricita saune AghAta lAgyo to pachI je snehanA dhAge baMdhAyA che tevAM saMsAramAM AvA samaye kone duHkha na thAya ? paNa A eka satsaMganuM pAna saune mATe amRta banatuM jAya che. Ama ja ApaNe javAnuM che, tema manamAM raNako guMje che ane sau svasthatApUrvaka ghaTanAne svIkAre che. Atma sAdhanAmAM vizeSa daDha bane che. duHkha to lAge che paNa samAdhAna meLave che. ghaNIvAra satsaMgIonI A uMcAI mane paNa AMtiraka baLa Ape che. dUvA karatA paNa A prerakabaLa ghaNuM caDhiyAtuM che tenA darzana karI huM tRpta thAuM chuM. pustaka vistAranA bhaye kalamane na chUTake aTakAvavI paDe che. konA prasaMga lakhuM ke konA cho ? A lekhana daramyAna mArI bimArI to ThIka paraMtu e pUruM karuM te pahelA kudarate kevA paracA batAvyA? sapTembaranI 3 savAre khabara AvyA vaDIla padmAbahenane paNa kALe upADI lIdhA. tA. rajIe to kahe tamAre tyAM somavAre rahevA AvavAnI chuM. padmAbahena chelle sudhI bhaktibhAvathI bhiMjAyelA ane prasanna rahetA. lAMbA AyuSyavALAne niraMtara bodha maLe te mATe AvuM jovAnuM banyA karatuM haze ? TUMkamAM amArA A sahAdhyAyIo anyonya sabhAvavALA ane sAdhanAmArgamAM pUraka che. devagurukRpA A che. dareka vargamAMthI have keTalAMka svayaM svAdhyAya-satsaMgano anyane lAbha ApI potAnA abhyAsanuM punarAvartana kare che. amArAM padmAbahena araviMdabhAI to vayovRddha che chatAM amArA vargamAM ullAsathI niyamita abhyAsa kare che. amArI badhI ja yAtrAnuM nirvine Ayojana thatuM temAM temano moTo phALo che. amArA mArI maMgalayAtrA 305 vibhAga-11

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samudAyamAM vaDIla jevuM temanuM vAtsalya Ajeya ciraMjIva che. yuvAna sAdhaka ci. parimalanuM parimala H amerikAnI anokhI bheTa kobA AzramathI nivRtta thayA pachI Azrama dvArA yojAtI laMDananI satsagayAtrA tyAre mulatavI rahI. paraMtu te dezamAM anya paricayane kAraNe lagabhaga 9091/9ramAM velInabaro ane lesTaramAM zrI paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanA yojAI hatI. vaLI 1989mAM prasaMgopAtta amerikA javAnuM thayuM hatuM. tyAre DaoN. zrI maNibhAI mahetAnA sahakArathI losa eMjalIsamAM svAdhyAya thayA hatA, tyAre yuvAna parimala khaMdhAra te svAdhyAyamAM Avato. teNe eka divasa mane kaMI tattva viSe prazna karyo. meM kahyuM : A prazna mATe ApaNe nirAMte maLIe ? emAM evuM banyuM ke te kaoNlejamAM abhyAsa karato hato. tethI kahe : dara zanivAre huM tamane svAdhyAya mATe laI jauM, ravivAre rajA hoya eTale sAthe rahIe ane somavAre savAre vahelA tamane mUkIne huM kaoNleja jato rahuM. zrI maNibhAIne vAta karI, temaNe kahyuM ke A to bahu sAruM thayuM. vaLI niraMjananAM bahena-banevI paNa zani-ravinI rajAmAM ghare hoya eTale devagurukRpAe badhuM anukULa thayuM. AthI cAra mAsa amAro A krama saMpanna thayo. savizeSa to meM kahyuM, parimala tAro prazna hato sthiratA ane zraddhA kema vadhe? joke A pahelAM parimalane anya zibiromAM tathA pU. sonejInA saMparkamAM kaMIka abhyAsa hato. vaLI mahendra, vINA khaMdhAra tenAM kAkAkAkInA saMparkathI teno saMskAra kaMIka ghaDAyo hato. tethI meM kahyuM : tuM navatattvano abhyAsa kara. dhyAna, sthiratA, zraddhA jevA prakAro mATe tattvano abhyAsa jarUrI che. e jayAre mane levA Avato tyAMthI amAre rUpa mAIla javAnuM ane AvavAnuM rahetuM. eTale meM kahyuM ApaNe A samayano paNa upayoga karIe. e yuvAna hato. smaraNa ane grahaNazakti teja hatI. eTale huM moTaramAMja pATha vAMcatI, te sAMbhaLato. ema ame navatattvano-saraLa paricaya pustikAno abhyAsa kAramAM jatAM-AvatAM karyo. nivAse svAdhyAya karatAM. ravivAra pUro samaya maLato eTale zAstrAbhyAsa paNa karatAM. Ama lagabhaga traNa mAsa pUrA thayA. vibhAga-11 mArI maMgalayAtrA 306

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eka divasa ghare ame svAdhyAya karatAM hatAM tyAre kahe "mAro kaoNlejano abhyAsa pUro thayo che, jaoNba ane grInakArDa maLI jAya tema che. paraMtu meM nirNaya karyo che ke mAre amerikA choDI devuM che." mahendra, vINA ane huM, tenA sAme joI rahyA. badhAMne eka prazna hato, kema ? teNe kahyuM, jo A tattvano mAre vadhu abhyAsa karavo hoya, zraddhAbaLa vikasAvavuM hoya to te mATe bhAratabhUmi ane tyAMnuM vAtAvaraNa yogya che. eTale meM nirNaya karyo che ke mAre amerikA choDI devuM. vaLI mane ahIM vizeSa zuM maLavAnuM che? bIjuM joIe paNa zuM? khAvA joguM to maLI raheze. paNa mAtA-pitA to judI AzA rAkhIne beThAM che. tuM ahIM sthira thAya ane kAme lAge." "mAtA-pitAne paNa huM samajAvIza. vaLI huM eka ja dIkaro chuM eTale tyAM sAthe rahuM te sAruM che. tene be baheno che.) Ama tattvanA abhyAsa ane jijJAsAe parimalane amerikAnuM pralobhana chUTI gayuM ane kharekhara badhuM sameTIne amerikA choDIne bhArata AvI gayo. muMbaI ghare pahoMcyo. jJAnInI dRSTie teno A mahApuNya yoga hato. - vAstavamAM mAtA-pitAe to parimala mATe kanyAo joI rAkhI hatI. eTale mAtA-pitAnI A AzAone samajAvIne vaLAMka ApavAnI tenI moTI kasoTI hatI. te daramyAna mAre muMbaI ghATakopara zrI paryuSaNanI ArAdhanA mATe javAnuM thayuM. te varSe huM tene ghare rahevA gaI na hatI. mane ema ke tenA mAtA-pitAne mArA mATe vikalpa Ave ? ke kadAca meM tene A mArge laI javA prayatna karyo che. vAstavamAM to "pUrvagata janma ceSTA anubhave dharajo suniSThAnI jema tenA pUrvasaMskAro jAgyA hatA. te muMbaImAM mane maLavA Avato tyAM tene cetanabhAIno paricaya thayo. te digaMbara AcAryazrI vidyAsAgarajInA paricayamAM hatA. ane kobA zrI AtmAnaMdajInA paricayamAM paNa hatA. AthI parimalane A yoga sAro thaI gayo. te paNa cetanabhAI sAthe baMne sthaLe javA lAgyo. temAM tene AcAryazrInA paricayamAM vadhu ruci thaI. mArI maMgalayAtrA 307 vibhAga-11

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chevaTe teNe nirNaya laI lIdho. jemAM vyApArAdi karIne mane kaMI vizeSa maLavAnuM nathI, tema lagna karIne paNa zuM meLavavuM che ? A AtmakalyANa mUkIne mAre nirarthaka samaya veDaphI nAMkhavo ? ane mAtApitAne paNa jaNAvI dIdhuM ke evo koI prayatna kare nahi. Ama tenI sAdhanA pU. AcAryazrInA sAnnidhyamAM vega pakaDatI hatI. eka vAra teo saparivAra ane mitra sAthe pU. AcAryazrInAM darzanArthe gayA hatA, te divasomAM pU.zrIno janmadina hato, A baMne mitrone phuraNA thaI ke ApaNe pU.zrIne zuM ApI zakIe ? aMtarathI avAja Avyo... AjIvana brahmacarya vrata laIne bheTa dharIe' A sabaLa vicArano pravAha temanI AjubAju phelAI gayo ane mAtA-pitA tathA anya svajano paNa A bhAvanAnA bhAgIdAra ane bhAgyavAna banyAM. tyAra pachI teNe zAstrAbhyAsa zarU karyo. A prakAre temanI aMtarmukha sAdhanA thatI hatI tyAM IDaramAM zrI yogezabhAIno paricaya thayo. temanI sAthe paNa thoDo samaya saMparka rahyo. bIjA anya saMyogono vicAra karI muMbaInuM sarva kArya sameTI pUruM kuTuMba amadAvAda AvIne vasyuM che. saunI bhAvanA ekaMdare samAna hovAthI nivAse rahIne parimala daDhapaNe sAdhanA kare che. zraddhA ane cAritryabaLa keLavI rahyo che. vaLI samayocita nivRttimAM paNa rahe che. samyagudarzana mATenI tenI samaja ane bhAvanA preraNAdAyI che. te vAraMvAra kahe che ke jIva A sAdhana vagara rakhaDyo che. pUrve AtmA ja bhUlIne paribhramaNa karyuM che. dehanA sukhanI mukhyatAthI Aje paNa bhUla karI rahyo che. jyAM sudhI AtmajJAna nahi pAme tyAM sudhI tenuM paribhramaNa cAlu rahevAnuM che. A janmamAM maLelI vicArazaktine jo sva tarapha vALe to tyAMthI jJAna pragaTa thavAnuM che. kyAMya levA javAnuM nathI. koI vAra te kaheto : zarIre kyAreya sukha ApyuM nathI paNa zAtAnA udayamAM sukha mAnI beTho che, te mUrkha che. jJAnIoe sukhanI cAvI, vairAgyathI ApI che. jyAre mUrkha mAnava sukhane dhana, strI, dehAdimAM zodhe che. tAre sukha mATe kyAMya javAnuM nathI. sukha tArI aMdara paDyuM che. teNe zrImadjInAM vacanAmRta tathA anya zAstrono sAro abhyAsa karyo che. AthI teno kSayopazama paNa che. sAthe sarvajJa vItarAganA mArganI daDha zraddhA che. eTale mArgano bodha grahaNa karI AtmakalyANanI keDIe vibhAga-11 308 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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cAlato rahe che. te kahe che : jJAnI manAvAthI ke kahevaDAvavAthI jJAnI thaI zakato nathI. rAgAdi kaSAyane satyapaNe ghaTADe ane vairAgyanI vRddhi thAya to jJAna pragaTa thAya. jo svadoSadarzana binapakSapAte karavA jevI sUkSma vicAraNA ja nathI to daMbha pedA thAya che. ane jIvane bhrama pedA thAya che ke jJAnI chuM. pote potAne satyapaNe jANe to kevuM che tevuM jaNAya. te mATe jIve saraLatA sAdhya karavA jevI che. chevaTe jIve sanmArge javA para-padArthothI bhinna chuM, dehathI bhinna chuM te manobaLa keLavavAnuM che. cAritrabaLa keLavIne zArIrika kaSTa sahana kare paNa huM zuddha AtmasvarUpa chuM tyAM daSTi na kare to saMsArano kSaya thavAnI zakyatA nathI. Ama ghaNA prakAre ciMtana-manana dvArA, zAstrabodha dvArA tenuM sAnnidhya paNa preraNAdAyI che. svarUpadaSTi mATe tenuM zraddhAbaLa vizeSa vikasatuM jAya che. Ama have huM tene kahuM chuM ke bhAI, tuM bhale mArI pAse bhaNyo paNa have tAre mane bhaNAvavAnI che. temAM vacce vayamaryAdA nA lAvato. paraMtu te namratAthI kahe che tame mArA vaDIla cho ane A tattvanuM kiraNa batAvanAra cho. have to te amadAvAda hovAthI ghaNI vAra satsaMgano anyonya lAbha maLato rahe che. mArI bImArImAM teNe satsaMgano ghaNo sahayoga Apyo hato. vaLI mAtApitA vayovRddha hovAthI temane paNa ArAdhanAmAM sAtha ApI preraNA Ape che. vINA mahendra khaMdhAra dvArA amerikAnI prathama satsagayAtrA (1991): losa eMjalasa rahetAM vINA mahendra khaMdhAra eka vAra lagabhaga 1987mAM IDara yAtrArthe AvyAM hatAM, tyAre mAro svAdhyAya sAMbhaLIne paricaya thayelo. tyAra pachI 198mAM huM jyAre vyavahArika kAraNe amerikA gaI tyAre temanA kendramAM svAdhyAyanA prasaMge vizeSa paricaya thayo. zaniravi temanA nivAse parimala ane ame zAstrAbhyAsa-svAdhyAya karatAM. Ama amAro satsaMgamaya saMbaMdha thayo. 1991/92mAM laMDanamAM zrI paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanA mATe javAnuM thayuM hatuM. tyAre A daMpatIe amane potAnA taraphathI svataMtra AmaMtraNa zAstrAbhyAsanI vRddhi mATe ApyuM hatuM. tyAre zrI puSpAbahena zAha sAthe hatAM. ame traNa saptAha temanA nivAse rahyA ane zAstraadhyayana karyuM. tyAre parimala to bhArata sthira thayo hato. amerikAnI amArI A prathama vAstavika satsaMgayAtrA hatI. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-11 309

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vINA mahendra khaMdhAra daMpatI sAttvika jIvanavALAM ane dharmarucimAM utsAhita che. sAthe saMtonI sevAparAyaNatA kharI. temaNe potAnA nivAse evI goThavaNa karIne eka moTo khaMDa alaga rAkhyo che. te sAdhanA mATe khUba anurUpa che. mahendra vahelI nivRtti lIdhI hovAthI abhyAsa mATe samaya maLI rahe che. potAnuM ja pustakAlaya ane nAnuM prabhumaMdira hovAthI ekAMtamAM sAdhanA karavAno lAbha le che. parimalane kathaMcita A vAtAvaraNathI sanmArge javAnI preraNA maLI hatI. temano nivAsa paNa pravacanakAro ane saMtothI sevAyelo che. teo kahe che ke ame tenI pavitratA anubhavIe chIe. AthI baMne prasannacittathI sAdhanA kare che. - mahendranI smRti sArI che eTale bhaktipadono kaMThe saMgraha sAro che. vaLI zAstrAbhyAsa karelo hovAthI ela. e. kendramAM navatattvanA, tattvArthasUtranA vargo laI zrI girIzabhAIne sahakAra Ape che. te uparAMta kendranI pravRttimAM tana, mana-dhanathI sevA ApI rahyA che. nAnAmoTA saune priya lAge tevuM temanuM vyaktitva che. vINAnI prakRti paropakAranI bhAvanAvALI che. tyAM vRddho vaDIlonI sevA tathA kendranAM kAryomAM sahAyakArI che. temanA traNa putro taiyAra thaI gayA che. teo susaMskArI che. have vINA-mahendra ghaNuMkharuM varSamAM cAra-cha mAsa kobA sAdhanA kendramAM pU. zrI AtmAnaMdajInA sAnnidhyamAM nivRtti laIne sAdhanA kare che. sevAbhAvI hovAthI saMsthAmAM niHspRhatAthI sevAkArya paNa karatA rahe che tathA svAdhyAya vargo paNa kuzaLatAthI calAve che. vaLI mArI sAthe yAtrAsthaLoe jaI sAnnidhya TakAvI rAkhe che. potAnA svAdhyAyano abhyAsa karavAno ullAsa che ane mAnasika baLa paNa che eTale temanI sAdhanA yathAzakti vikasatI jAya che. savizeSa teo pUjyazrInI nizrAmAM rahI zibiranuM tathA lekhanakArya saMbhALe che. aMtarmukha sAdhanAnI vRddhi viSe mArI sAthe temanI carcA-vicAraNA thaI hatI. tevA abhigamanI dRDhatA mATe parigraha parimANanI alpatA karI che. jIvana to sAduM che ja. AjIvana brahmacarya vrata levAno nirNaya paNa pU.zrInI nizrAmAM karelo che. pU.zrInA mArgadarzanathI temanA jIvanamAM sahaja ja guNavRddhi thatI jAya che. A janmamAM mArganI daDhatAnA saMskAra pAmIne javAnI temanI AMtarika bhAvanA baLavAna che te mATe zubhecchA. vibhAga-11 310 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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amerikAnI satsaMgayAtrAnuM zubha Ayojana : 1991 thI 2004 vAstavamAM A jIvanI A maMgalayAtrA che tenuM eka aMga satsaMgayAtrA che. kAraNa ke temAM sva-para zreyanI bhAvanA che. amerikA prathama vAra dIkarI ane jamAI sAthe vyavahArika kAraNathI pravAsa thayo hato tyAre ame losa eMjalIsa rahyAM hatAM. te prasaMga jamAInI bImArI eTale duHkhada hato. paraMtu pariNAme mane te satsaMga-svAdhyAyanuM nimitta banyo te agAu jaNAvyuM che losa eMjalIsamAM 1989mAM DaoN. zrI maNibhAI tathA savitAbahena mahetA niraMjanane maLavA AvatAM. temane mAro paricaya hato. tethI temaNe kendra para mArA prathama svAdhyAyanuM Ayojana karyuM hatuM. amerikAmAM e mAro prathama svAdhyAya prasaMga hato. A daMpatI kendranA sevAbhAvI ane Adara dharAvatA sevako che. samAjamAM temanuM sthAna jANItuM che. amerikAnuM kSetra vistRta che. jaina samAja dvArA cAlIsa uparAMta sthaLoe nAnAMmoTAM kendro che. temAM vyavasthita svAdhyAya yojavA tathA zrI paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanAnuM Ayojana prAraMbhamAM nyUjarsImAM rahetA bipInabhAI tathA maMdA zAha saprema karatAM hatAM. te daramyAna temaNe nyUjarsInA koDavela kendramAM (derAsara) 1993nA zrI paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanA mATe AmaMtraNa ApyuM. tyArathI teo daMpatI dara varSe mArA paryuSaNa ane sAthe bIjAM kendro parano cAra mAsa samarano (unALAno) kAryakrama goThavI letA. Ama, 1993 thI amerikAnAM vividha sthaLoe svAdhyAya thatA. bhAratathI nIkaLuM, nyUyorka eraporTa para pahoMcuM. sudhAbahena praphullabhAI lAkhANI bIjA satsaMgIo sAthe svAgata kare. mAro utAro sudhAbahenane tyAM raheto koI vAra svAdhyAya nivAse thatA. eka vAra bhAvinI pravINabhAI vAMkANI svAdhyAyamAM AvyA. sudhAbahenane kahe : have ame bahenane amAre tyAM laI jaIzuM. teo sAdhaka-saMta sevI che. vinamra ane sevAparAyaNa che. pachInA varSomAM sudhAbahena ghaNuMkharuM kobA Azrama hoya tethI mAro utAro chellI yAtrA sudhI bhAvinIne tyAM rahyo. pravINabhAI mArA IsyoransanuM tathA badhe levA-mUkavAnuM saMbhALe. bhAvinI AhArAdi ghaNA ThAThathI saMbhALe, jayAre bhojana karAve tyAre jANe mA hoya tevI kALajI rAkhe. chelle mArI vidAya paNa temane tyAMthI mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-11 311

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hoya, tyAre nAnImoTI vastuo bhegI thaI hoya te sarve beMgamAM vyavasthita goThavI de. teonI eka ja bhAvanA : bahenane kaMI takalIpha paDavI na joIe. - pachI to vaLI be-traNa varSamAM je je kendra para jANa thaI te saunAM AmaMtraNa AvatAM. AthI kSetravistAranuM Ayojana vadhI gayuM. bipInabhAIne kAma ghaNuM rahetuM. te daramyAna kalpanA pravINacaMdra zAha phIlAmAM lensaDelamAM rahe temano paricaya thayo. AthI lagabhaga 1998thI kalpanAbahena A Ayojana saMbhALatAM. A kAryakrama mATe cha mAsa agAuthI Ayojana karavuM paDatuM. ghaNA phona karIne kAma thatuM temAM samaya ghaNo jato. chatAM sau premathI A zrama uThAvatA. amerikAnuM jIvana ghaNuM vyasta hoya che. chatAM have sanmArganI rucivALA jijJAsuone A aMgenuM mUlya samajAyuM che. tethI dara varSe unALAmAM dara mAse eka-be vakhata eka saptAhano kAryakrama goThave che. te rAtre 8 thI 10 ane zanivAre savAre 10 thI 4 zibira jevuM. ravivAre savAre 10 thI 1 koI khAsa Ayojana paNa hoya. A kendro thavAthI vyavahArika prasaMgomAM paNa dhArmika pravRtti dvArA utsava thAya che. snAtrapUjA, ke anya pUjano thatAM rahe che. jemAM AbAlavRddha sau umaMgathI bhAga letA hoya che. vaLI yuvAna varga AvA utsavamAM bhAga le ane sevA Ape. e rIte temanAmAM saMskArasiMcana thatuM rahe che. savizeSa A kendro dvArA mAnad sevAothI bALakonI pAThazALA dara mAse be ke cAra ravivAranI hoya che. temAM bALako sutro, tattvanA pATha, dhArmika vArtAo vaDe saMskAra pAme che. bhAratanI jema paMcatIrtha yAtrAo yojAya che. dhArmika nATakonuM suMdara Ayojana thatuM hoya che. - savizeSa parvAdhirAja paryuSaNanI ArAdhanAmAM tapa ane svAdhyAya uttama prakAre thAya che. zrI kalpasUtra vAMcana, svapnadarzana ane saMvatsarI pratikramaNa vyavasthita thatAM hoya che. svapnadarzanamAM bALako ane vaDIlo badhAM ja svapnane laIne darzana karAvatA hoya che. mAIka jevI sagavaDone kAraNe A utsavo khUba vyavasthita UjavAya che. savAre sevApUjA, pravacanazravaNa ane sAMje pratikramaNa; rAtre 8 thI 10 pravacanazravaNanuM Ayojana uttama prakAre thAya che. koI vAra dezAvagAzika vrata dasa sAmAyika ekasAthe karavAnuM vrata thAya. svAmIvAtsalyanA AyojananI sagavaDa hoya che. Ama bhAratavAsI jaino te dezamAM bhArata vibhAga-11 mArI maMgalayAtrA 312

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jevA paryuSaNanuM vAtAvaraNa sarjI ArAdhanA kare che. A uparAMta sthAnika svAdhyAyakAra have to taiyAra thavA lAgyA che. sAdhu-mahAtmAnI khoTa kharI. chatAM dareka kendranA nAma zuM jaNAvuM paNa thoDo khyAla ApuM. amadAvAdanA vatanI lInA tathA azoka cokasI daMpatIe sau prathama DiTroiTamAM svAdhyAyano zubhAraMbha 1989mAM mArI upasthitimAM karAvyo hato. te pravRtti hAla ghaNI vikAsa pAmI che. teo pAThazALAmAM ghaNA pravRtta hoya che. svayaM tattvArthasUtra jevAM zAstrono abhyAsa karI taiyAra thayAM che. dharmapravRttinI vizeSatA mATe, ghaNI AmadAnI chatAM vahelA nivRtta thayAM che. dAnadharma paNa udAratAthI karI rahyA che. savizeSa chellAM traNeka cAturmAsathI amadAvAda AvI pU. sAdhubhagavaMtonI nizrAmAM ucca ArAdhanA karI rahyA che. yathAzakti tapanI ArAdhanAmAM pravRtta che. vaLI zAstrokta paddhatine samajIne te pramANe AcAra pALe che. pAchA DITroITamAM sthiratA hoya tyAre te rIte saune mArgadarzana ApavAmAM sahakAra ApI rahyA che. DITroITamAM temanuM AdarabharyuM sthAna che. temane paNa saumAM dharmakalyANanI bhAvanA che. mane maLyuM che. saune maLo. nyUjarsImAM caMdrakAMta mahetA svAdhyAyakAra tarIke mArI ane pU. paMDita dhIrajalAla pAse zAstrAbhyAsa karIne taiyAra thaI gayA che. have svayaM teo ja sAmAyika jevAM anuSThAnomAM lokabhogya abhyAsa karAvI rahyA che. anya sthaLe zrI paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanA karAve che. tAjetaramAM nivRtta thavAthI have vizeSa prakAre svalakSya dharmArAdhanAmAM pravRtta thatA jAya che. teo tathA temanAM patnI pravINAbahena bhAratamAM AvIne paNa ArAdhanA karatA hoya che. A pramANe ghaNAM kendromAM sthAnika sevAbhAvI pravacanakArono lAbha maLato rahe che. varSothI vaselAM gujarAtIo-bhAratavAsIo kauTumbika ke Arthika rIte sthAyI thayAM che, teonI A rIte dhArmika jIvana pratye dRSTi keLavAI che. vaLI potAnAM bALakone A saMskAra maLe tevI jAgRti AvI che. sthAnika pravacanakAra dvArA dara saptAhe sau eka vAra svAdhyAya, satsaMga, darzana niyamita rIte dareka kendramAM karatA hoya che. dara varSe unALAmAM cAra mAsamAM bhinna bhinna pravacanakAro-sAdhakonA paricayamAM AvavAthI teomAM AhArAdimAM zuddhi, vyasanamukti, niyamonI raci, zAstrAbhyAsa, sAmAyika jevAM anuSThAnonI bhAvanA jAgrata thaI mArI maMgalayAtrA 313 vibhAga-11

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che. vaLI sthAnika pravacanakAro ane zAstrAbhyAsI taiyAra thavAthI unALA sivAya A pravRttio niyamita rIte Take che. vAstavamAM bhale e dezamAM sarvaviratidharonA yoganI UNapa che, te chatAM AvA zubhanimitto-yogathI rucivALA jIvo sAdhanA kare che. ane bhArata Ave tyAre tIrthayAtrA tathA sAdhujanonAM darzanano lAbha le che. pAlItANA cAturmAsa, upadhAna, navANuM tapa karavAno lAbha le che. je kendra paryuSaNanI ArAdhanA mATe pravacanakArone AmaMtraNa Ape te pUrI yAtrAnuM kharca karatA hoya che. tyAra pachI anya kendro je svAdhyAyanuM Ayojana kare tenuM kharca karatA hoya che. vaLI Adara ane premathI amArA utArAnI ane jarUrI sevAono lAbha letA hoya che. teo divase potAnAM kAryomAM vyasta hoya eTale lekhana-ArAdhanAno pUrato samaya maLI rahe. mArI A satsagayAtrAmAM prAraMbhamAM be varSa amadAvAdathI zrI puSpAbahena zAha hatAM. vaLI vaccenAM thoDAM varSo badhAM sthaLoe ekalAM javAnuM thatuM paraMtu tyAMnuM vyavasthAtaMtra sahAyakavRttinuM hovAthI ApaNane kaMI takalIpha paDe to gUMca pADe nahi paNa te ukelavAmAM sahAyaka thAya. tyArapachI pAMceka varSa kalpanAbahenanAM mammI zrI kokilAbahena zAha mArI sAthe sevA. satsaMganA bhAvathI sAthe yAtrA karatAM. teo amerikA rahelAM ane pharelAM che tethI ghare-bahAre kuzaLatA dharAve che. huM temane kahetI ke tamane rasoDAnuM avadhijJAna che. teo yajamAnanI gerahAjarImAM kAmamAM kyAMya aTake nahi. badhuM kAma pAra pADe. tyAre teo kahetAM A avadhijJAna zA kAmanuM? mAre to AtmajJAna joIe. vaLI dhArmika anuSThAno niyamita karatAM. te mATe ja teo mArI sAthe yAtrA karavAno bhAva rAkhatAM. mA-dIkarI baMne sevAbhAvI che. temano nivAsa amArA jevA sAdhakonuM utArA-ArAdhanAsthAna jevuM che. te divasomAM temane tyAM zibira jevuM thaI jAya. anya satsaMgIo paNa tyAre lAbha levA-rahevA Ave. vaLI chellAM dasa varSathI dasalakSaNA parva temanA nivAse yojAtuM hatuM. cerIphilamAM (nyUjarsI) rahetA varSA prazAMta (jainetara lakhuM te barAbara nathI, paraMtu jainadarzananI praNAlImAM zraddhA thavAthI te baMne jainadarzananA AcArane anusarI ArAdhanA kare che. huM jayAre svAdhyAya mATe cerIhila rahuM tyAre baMne rajA laI le, satata nizrAmAM rahe. sevAmAM kALajI evI rAkhe ke moTaramAM besuM, ke sophA para bese tyAre sapheda cAdara pAtharI de. AthI sau kahetA ke prazAMta tamAro pAko bhakta che. kaMI paNa doSa jevuM vibhAga-11 314 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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jaNAya to khullA dile pUchIne doSa dUra karavAmAM udyamI che. mArAM dareka satkAryo, pustaka-prakAzanamAM temano sahayoga hoya ja. koI vAra ene thAya ke amArAthI kaMI AgaLa vadhAtuM nathI tyAre samajAyuM ke gRhasthanI sAdhanA kIDIvege hoya. paraMtu satpuruSArtha karatA rahevuM. jIvana sAduM ane saraLa che. tamane prabhukRpAe mArga maLyo che. to jIvana sArthaka thaze. cerIhilamAM rahetAM snehala parezA abhyAsI che. temanA satsaMgano temane sAro sahakAra che. kendramAM sau haLImaLIne sevAo Ape che te prazaMsanIya che. amerikAmAM derAsaronAM kendro dUra hoya, tethI svAdhyAyamAM javAAvavAmAM ra5/30 mAIla jevuM aMtara hoya. chatAM sau umaMgathI lAbha le. roja devadarzanathI vaMcita na thavAya teTalA mATe darekanA ghare nAnAmoTA pavitra sthAnanuM Ayojana hoya. koI gharomAM to ghara derAsaranA jevuM ja pavitra sthAna hoya che. AthI amArA jevA sAdhakone sAdhanA karavA mATe pUratI sagavaDa maLI rahe che. A dezanuM prazaMsanIya ane zistabaddha taMtra : A dezamAM koI varSomAM ekalI pharI to paNa tyAMnuM taMtra evuM zistabaddha che ke tamArI agavaDanuM tarata ja nivAraNa kare. mane aMgrejI bolatA na AvaDe. temanA uccAra sAMbhaLatAM na AvaDe. mAre baherAmUMgAnI jema izArAthI kAma levAnuM. thoDuM nAma vigere vAMcatA AvaDe. jyAre ekalI houM tyAre kAunTara para TikiTa paranuM javAnA sthaLanuM nAma batAvuM. vhIlacera lauM tene paNa nAma batAvuM. mArI vaya joIne teo vizeSa kALajI rAkhatA. temAM paNa hAthamAM jayArathI lAkaDI rAkhI tyArathI to saMbhALa vadhI gaI. evuM lAge ke jANe hamaNAM UMcakIne ja laI jaze. kokilAbahena kahetAM : temanA dIkarAnI jAnamAM AvyA chIe tevA sAcave che ne? plenanA daravAje pahoMcatAM ja sasmita AvakAra Ape, lAkaDI joIne mArI parsa paNa pakaDI le, cheka sITa sudhI barAbara besADI jAya. mArI pAse be TaMka khAvAno thoDo sAmAna hoya. te paNa vyavasthita mUkI Ape. mAre AhAra mATe phalAITanuM kazuM ja levAnuM na hoya. koIka vAra teo pUche : kaMI ja nahi lo ? "jaina Diza che." huM kahuM mane bahAranuM kaMI cAlatuM nathI (hiMdImAM) tyAre hasIne AgaLa vadhe. eka vAra amArI phalAiTa leITa hatI. eTale meM eka hiMdIbhASI mArI maMgalayAtrA 315 vibhAga-11

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bhAIne kahyuM huM tamArI sAthe begeja kleIma para AvIza. te bhAI bhUlathI liphaTane badale sikyuriTInI amuka jagAe ghUsI gayA, bela dabAvyo, bAraNuM khUlyuM, aMdara gayA. sAva sUnakAra. tyAM to tarata ja traNacAra mANaso AvyA, pUchaparacha karI. mane AdarathI besADI, pAsapaoNrTa vigere badhuM joyuM. pUrI tapAsa evI karI ke jANe svajana ApaNane maLavA AvyA hoya ! pacIsa-trIsa miniTa tapAsa karI paNa jarAya ugratA ke AkuLatA karI nahi. gUMca ukele, pADe nahi. eka vAra bhArata AvatAM laMDananI phalAITa moDuM thavAthI UpaDI gaI. tarata ja oNphisara bahena AvI. teNe kahyuM : kaI bhASAmAM javAba Apazo? meM kahyuM : hiMdI ke gujarAtI. tarata ja hiMdIbhASI oNphisara AvyA. temaNe mane samajAvyuM ke phalAiTa have ATha kalAka pachI maLaze. ame tamane hoTelamAM badhI vyavasthA karI ApIzuM. tame ciMtA na karazo. meM kahyuM : mAre Aje vrata (ekAsaNuM) che. hoTelanuM mane cAlaze nahi. A sAMbhaLI te bhAI kharekhara ciMtAmAM paDyA ke zuM karIe ! mane eka sArI jagAe besADI, bhAratano phona mAMgI ghare samAcAra ApyA. huM navakAra gaNatI tyAM beThI hatI. tyAM mane ja ekAeka vicAra spharyo ke laMDanamAM ghaNA paricita che temane tyAM jAuM ? meM pelA oNphisarane vAta karI. te to rAjI thayA, "mAre paNa vrata che. tamArA vratathI mane ciMtA thatI hatI." tarata meM phona naMbara Apyo, temaNe phona karI mumukSu bhAIne bolAvI lIdhA. sadbhAgye gulAbabhAI, caMdrikAbahena ghare hatAM. mane levA AvyAM. pelA oNphisara paramizana meLavI cheka bahAra mUkI gayA. caMdrikAbahenane tyAM jamI paravArI, temaNe anya satsaMgIone bolAvyA. be-traNa kalAka satsaMga karI vaLI teo eraporTa para mUkI gayAM Ama guMca to paDe paNa saraLatAthI UkalI jatI. vaLI kaMI navo anubhava thato. badhuM saraLa rIte pate to zIkhavA zuM maLe ? zrImad rAjacaMdra vacanAmRtanA AdhAre zibira Ayojana : prAraMbhanAM varSomAM zrI zAMtibhAI koThArI dvArA zrImad rAjacaMdra vacanAmRtanA mAdhyamathI nyuyorka, nyUjarsImAM svAdhyAya goThavAtA. teo svayaM varSothI A kAryakrama calAvI rahyA hatA. khAsa zani-ravino samaya goThavI nyUyorkamAM sudhAbahena praphullabhAI lAkhANInA nivAse zibira goThavatA. A daMpatI khUba bhAvika che. temanI vyavasthAzakti prazaMsanIya vibhAga-11 316 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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che. hAla teo kobA pU. zrI AtmAnaMdajInI nizrAmAM uttama sAdhanA kare che. prAraMbhamAM mAro utAro ahIMja raheto hato. - zrI sudhA tathA praphullabhAI so jevA zrotAonI savArathI rAta sudhInI sarva vyavasthA saMkuzaLa yojatAM hatAM. mAro sau prathama nyUyorkamAM paricaya temaNe karAvyo hato. e be divasa sAnaMda saMpanna thatA. vaLI zrI kalpanAbahenane tyAM paNa zrImad rAjacaMdra vacanAmRtanA svAdhyAyanuM zibirayukta Ayojana suMdara goThavAI jatuM. mane zrImad vacanAmRtano abhyAsa ane zraddhA hovAthI svAdhyAya uttama prakAre thatA. A zrotAgaNamAM zrImad rAjacaMdra kRpALudevano prabhAva ananya che. vacanAmRtanuM zravaNa dattacitte kare. bhakti niyamita rIte bhaMga vagara kare. koI navA zrotA AvyA hoya to te paNa A rasamAdhuryamAM bhaLI jAya. yadyapi vacanAmRtanAM gUDha rahasyomAM jema jema bodha grahaNa thAya tema tema temAM alaukika bhAva Upaje che te meM anubhavyuM che. emAM zrImadjInI kRpAnidhi che. vaLI A zrotAonI zraddhA evI hoya che ke temane pada to kaMThastha hoya paNa gadya, vacanAmRta paNa kaMThastha hoya. AthI jayAre svAdhyAya thAya tyAre teo zravaNamAM ekacitta thAya te anubhavAtuM. vItarAgI dazAmAMthI lakhelA e zabdaprANa hatA ne ? - savAre 9-30 thI 10 bhakti pachI 10 thI 12 svAdhyAya thato. eka vAra "apUrva avasara evo kyAre Avaze"nA pada para svAdhyAya thato hato. vaktA-zrotA evA tallIna thayA hatA ke 1-30 no samaya thayo. temanI zista evI ke koI UTha-besa na kare, UMcA-nIcA na thAya. ghaDiyALa na jue, na batAve. mane acAnaka ja khyAla Avyo ke samaya 1-30 thayo che, meM kahyuM " micchAmi dukkaDa.' zAMtibhAI kahe "jJAna-gaMgAnA snAnanI zItaLatAmAM tApa-utApa zamI jAya pachI jIvone bIjuM zuM joIe. Aje to saune hArdika AnaMda Upajyo che." arthAt A zrotAvarga bhAvuka ane zistabaddha AcAravALo che. pachInA samayamAM zibiro vaizAlI satIzabhAIne tyAM thatI. teo suvyavasthita Ayojana karatAM hatAM. mArI satsaMgayAtrAnI mAhitImAM tamane e dezanAM anya sthaLonuM ke DajhanIlenDa jevAM bhautikatAnAM ke agatyanAM sthaLonuM varNana nahi maLe. mane lAge che ke mAruM pustaka vAMcanArane jIvananA svakalyANa viSayaka bhAthuM maLaze, temAM AnaMda Avaze. mArI maMgalayAtrA 317 vibhAga-11

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mArAmAM bALapaNathI ja bhautika sthaLo jovAnI vRtti ochI hatI. ame yuvAnImAM kAzmIra gayA tyAre paNa huM ghaNAM sthaLoe javAne badale hAusaboTamAM ke anyatra pustaka vAMcatI. temAM vaLI have to mAruM mAnasa AdhyAtmika kSetre paripakva thatAM, ane e samajamAM AvyuM ke jIva A cauda rAjalokanA phrI jhonamAM sarvatra aneka janmo karI pradakSiNA karI Avyo che. AkAzazreNIno eke pradeza sparzarahita rahyo nathI, je sarva dizAmAM haryopharyo che. have kazuM bAkI nathI to pachI zA mATe have pharyA ja karavuM ? jijJAsu mitro kyAreka kahetA ke temAM jovA jevuM che, tamane svAdhyAyamAM kahevA jevuM lAgaze. "are zAstramAM zuM ochuM che !" tyAre mAro javAba upara mujabano raheto. eka vAra phakta DIjhanIlenDa gaI. ekabe rAIDa lIdhI paraMtu ekabe kalAkamAM mane lAgyuM ke ahIM kaMI jovA ke rokAvA jevuM che nahi, ane rAIDamAM AraMbhano doSa lAge tethI ame pAchA pharyA. vaLI mArI jarUriyAta ja khAsa hoya nahi, kaMI kharIdavAnuM na hoya eTale bajAradarzana to karyA ja nathI. kuTuMbamAM parivAra kaMI maMgAve to temanI ciThThI sIdhI kalpanAbahenane ke nyUyaoNrkamAM bhAvinIne ApatI te pramANe teo laI AvatA, pekiMga paNa teo ja karatA. anya rIte hisAba paNa cUkate thaI jato. te vyavahAra ramonA atula saMbhALI letAM. huM kahetI ke mumukSuo pAse sAMsArika vastuo maMgAvavI nahi. ane tema karavuM paDe tyAre teo te vyavahAra nabhAvI letA. AthI koI dezanuM bajAra joyuM nathI. vaLI huM teo sau mATe uttama pustako ApatI. ema AdAnapradAna thatuM. hA, koI vAra zUjha ke sveTara jevuM lAvavAnuM thatuM te to mApathI patI jatuM. sUkomevo ane kesarano svIkAra karatI. teno thoDo sadupayoga paNa thato. svAdhyAya-kendro ane pravRtti H 1989mAM traNa sthaLonI yAtrAno keTalo vistAra thayo tenI sAmAnya vigata A pramANe che. samAMtare AvelAM sthaLonA vibhAga karIne kAryakrama goThavAto, jethI mane vadhu doDAdoDa na thAya. ToraMTo losa eMjalIsa aTalAnTA nyUjarsI DeTroiTa sena DI ego cerIhIla zikAgo hyusTana vaoNziMgTana vibhAga-11 mArI maMgalayAtrA nyUyaoNrka rAle 318

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lensaDela klIvalenDa DalAsa-tulasA agasTrA eDIsana pIsabarga oralAnDo bosTana samarpaNa kolaMbasa mayAmI InDiyAnA koI vAra be-traNa sthaLa mulatavI rakhAtAM. to pachInA varSe pheraphAra karIne goThavAtAM. A uparAMta tenI najIkanAM sthaLoe nAnA kendramAM ravivAra pUratuM javAnuM rahetuM. sthaLa ane anukULatA pramANe divaso nakkI thatA. A sthaLomAM traNeka kalAkanI musApharI hoya to kAramAM thatI. arthe raste maLatA eTale koIne vadhu paDato zrama na thato. rastA khUba sArA eTale mane paNa skUrti rahetI. koI vAra sIdhA ja svAdhyAyamAM javAnuM thatuM. te chatAM zrama na lAgato. zAstrAbhyAsa, vrataniyama, tapa vigere Atmika abhigama : A varSomAM lagabhaga nIce pramANenAM zAstro paikI amuka bhAgano samayanI maryAdAmAM rahIne svAdhyAya thato. vaLI traNe phirakAnA jijJAsuone anurUpa goThavAtuM. joke mukhyatve paddhati zvetAMbarIya rahetI. derAsaramAM mUrti lagabhaga baMne AmnAyane anusarIne rAkhavAmAM AvatI. huM khAsa karIne prAraMbhamAM navakAramaMtra ane sAmAyikanI paddhati darzAvatI. tene kAraNe mahad aMze janasamUhamAM navakAramaMtra-mALAnI niyamitatA AvatI gaI. sAthe ghaNA jijJAsuo samayanI anukULatA pramANe sAmAyika karatA thayA che jene kAraNe zAstravAMcana thaI zake che. cittane zAMti pradAna thAya che. jJAnaArAdhanAnI rUci keLavAtI jAya che. zAstravAMcana pahelAM dareka sthaLe navatattvano abhyAsa karAvatI hatI. zAstravAMcanamAM zAMtasudhArasa, guNa pAMtrIsI, bArabhAvanA, prazamarati, hAribhadrI yogadarzana, samyagudarzana, Atmavizuddhi, zrAvakAcAra, yogazAstra, jJAnasAra, tattvArthasUtra, zrImad rAjacaMdra vacanAmRta, saikALika AtmavijJAna. AtmotthAnano pAyo moTo graMtha hovAthI traNeka varSa vAMcana thayuM. uttarAdhyayana phakta gujarAtI lekhana, hRdayapradIpa chatrIsI, yogadaSTi samuccaya (nAnuM). vaLI kathAomAM zAlibhadra, samarAdityacaritra, sthUlibhadra, sudarzana zeTha, bhImasena kathA, puNiyAzrAvaka, jaMbUkamAra, rohaNIyo, zreNika rAjA. sulasA, caMdanabALA, aMjanA, subhadrA, RSidattA, mayaNA suMdarI jevI satIonAM jIvanarahasyo samajAvatI. jeno jIvana sAthe kevo meLa che temAMthI zuM bodha grahaNa karavo, tenA vicAra karatA temAM sva-para zreya sadhAtuM. kathAothI zrotAone ghaNuM jANavAnuM maLatuM. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-11 319

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vaLI anya nAnAMmoTAM dRSTAMtothI svAdhyAya rocaka banato. sarva ane tattva baMneno meLa thato. e bodha jIvanamAM kema pariName tenA upara bhAra mUkatA jethI dareka potAnA jIvanano vikAsapaMtha meLavI zake. svAdhyAyano zubha prAraMbha navakAramaMtra tathA mAMgalikathI thato. aMtamAM aMtaHmaMgala thatuM. dareka svAdhyAyane aMte koI ne koI niyama levAnI paddhati rAkhI hatI. niyamanI eka yAdI banAvIne darekane ApavAmAM AvatI. dareka pote jAte ja nakkI karIne batAvI jatA. koI vAra ciThThIo upADavAnI hoya. jene je ciThThI Ave te pramANe karavAnuM. karatA hoya teNe ja ciThThI badalavAnI hatI, temAM koI vAra koInI kasoTI thatI. cITTIne huM dastAveja kahetI : eka vAra eka bahena ciThThI laIne AvyAM, temAM hatuM rezamanAM vastro vAparavA nahi. te bahena kahe : mAre A ciThThI badalavI paDaze. mane rezamanAM vastro game che, huM paheruM chuM. meM kahyuM "ciThThI badalavAne badale vastro badalo, tamane lAbha thaze; pApathI bacazo to zatAvedanIya maLaze." thoDo vicAra karIne kahe : navA nahi lauM. vaLI eka bhAI AvyA. temanI ciThThI hatI sigareTa pIvI nahi. bhAI kahe : mArI tabiyata bagaDI jAya. are ""bhAI lAMbe gALe asAdhya roganA bhoga na bano ene mATe A ciThThI AvI che. tame bhAgyazALI cho, tamAruM bhAvi sudharI gayuM. ciThThI na badalatAM Teva badalo." temaNe prayatna karyo. talapa lAge tyAre traNa navakAra gaNatA. thoDI kasoTI thaI, paNa Teva chUTI gaI. vaLI jene tyAM bhojana hoya tene tyAM bIjA mitro paNa hoya. saunI sAthe thoDI haLavI vAto thAya. temAM eka vAra meM kahyuM juo, jene tyAM mAMsAhAra thato hoya, pote letA hoya, "bAra' calAvatA hoya tene tyAM huM jamatI nathI, tenA hAthanuM jamatI nathI. te divase eka bahena maLavA AvyAM, kahe : mane prAyazcitta Apo, huM mAMsAhAra karuM chuM. meM Aje tamane vastu pIrasI hatI. meM kahyuM "prAyazcitta huM karI laIza." te bahena vicAramAM paDyAM. bIje divase AvIne mAMsAhAra tyAganI pratijJA laI gayAM. eka daMpatImAM bahena mArA tarapha ghaNo Adara rAkhe, paNa pati gharamAM lAvIne mAMsAhAra karatA. tethI te mane ghare jamavA laI jaI zakatA vibhAga-11 320 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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nahi. eka vAra teNe vAta karI. meM kahyuM : tArA ghare AvIza. mane pAMca badAma navakAra gaNIne Apaje, huM anyatra bhojana samaye te laIza. ema be vAra gaI. trIjI vAra tenA pati kahe: mane mAMsAhAra-tyAganI pratijJA Apo ane mAre tyAM bhojana mATe padhAro. tyAra pachI temane tyAM satsaMga sAthe trIseka mitro sahita bhojanano kAryakrama thayo. amArA snehInA putrane tyAM bhojana mATe javAnuM thayuM. meM to bALapaNamAM joyelo tevo ja mAnelo. paNa bhAIne pINAnI Adata, gharamAM bAra rAkhe. huM bhojana karIne haoNlamAM beThI hatI tyAM mArI najara pelI vastu para paDI. te rAtre tyAM rahI hatI tenI sAthe vAta karI. dIkaro guNiyala hato, bIje divase svAdhyAyamAM pratijJA laI lIdhI ane gharamAMthI badhI vastuono nikAla karI dIdho. TUMkamAM jeoe bhArata bhUminA dharmanA saMskAra bacAvyA ane pacAvyA hatA teo A mArgamAM saullAsa AgaLa vadhatA hatA. ane jeo kaMI cUkyA hatA teo punaH jAgrata thaI mArge caDhatA hatA. temAM svAdhyAya, bhakti, vrato, niyamono moTo phALo che. amerikAnI jema vyavasthita dhArmika kAryakramo anyatra AphrikA, laMDana, jevA sthaLe goThavAtA nathI te kheda sahita kahevuM paDaze. te sthaLoe jaina vastI, saMgha, sthAno che paraMtu A praNAlInuM sAtatya nathI jaLavAtuM. A satsaMgayAtrAnuM alaga pustaka lakhyuM che : "deza-paradezanA pravacanono pratisAda." janapriya suzrAvaka zrI girIzabhAI tathA tapasvI suzIlAbahena : losa eMjalIsamAM rahetAM sujJa daMpatI chellAM be varSathI mArI sAthe satsaMgayAtrAmAM hoya che. zrI girIzabhAI svayaM pravacanakAra ane zAstrAbhyAsI che, baMne tapasvI paNa kharA. girIzabhAInI zikSaNa paddhati rasALa ane ullAsavardhaka hovAthI samAjamAM temanI janapriyatA ghaNI che. kevaLa zAstravAMcana nahi; sAthe tapa, vrata jevA AcAranuM paNa mArgadarzana ApI saune ArAdhanAmAM preraNA Ape che. mArI sAthe hoya tyAre te te sthaLe temanA pravacano lokabhogya banavAthI have teo amerikAnAM judAM judAM sthaLomAM zrI paryuSaNanI ArAdhanA karAve che. temanA madhura kaMThe prabhustavana sAMbhaLavAM te paNa eka suMdara yoga che. teo mULa amadAvAda najIka mahesANAmAM rahetA hatA. saMskAre sthAnakavAsI paraMtu teo AgrahI na hovAthI vizALa samudAya sAthe svamArI maMgalayAtrA 321 vibhAga-11

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para zreyanI pravRtti karI rahyA che. yadyapi teo zvetAMbara ApnAyanI paddhatithI anuSThAno kare che, karAve che chatAM temanA dvAra saune mATe abhaMga che. teo jaina samAja mATe vaDIla jevA che. guMca paDe to ukelavAnI kSamatA dharAve che. tethI jaina samAjamAM temanuM sthAna AdaraNIya che. amArI satsagayAtrA khUba AnaMdamaya rahevAmAM te daMpatIno ghaNo sahayoga che. suzIlAbahena svayaM tapasvI che. mAsakSamaNa jevuM tapa paNa sahaja rIte temane upAsya che. saumyatA ane ochAbolA e emanI prakRti che. sevAparAyaNatAmAM utsAhI che. AthI anyonya ame satsaMgano lAbha laI zakyA chIe. - gharamAM suMdara alaga nAnuM derAsara ane vyavasthita sAdhanAkhaMDa che jyAM sahAdhyAyIo abhyAsa karatA hoya che. koI vAra dezAvagAsikanuM Ayojana thatuM hoya che. A uparAMta vrata, tapa tathA niyamanI temanI preraNAthI saumAM AcArayukta ArAdhanA TakI rahI che. dara saptAhe traNa svAdhyAyano lAbha Ape che. ame anyonya sanmArganI ArAdhanAmAM preraka kalyANamitro chIe te subhaga yoga che. dharmAvalaMbI urvazI virena zAha (losa eMjalIsa) : dara varSe jAuM ane navA sanmitrono sAtha maLe. lagabhaga 2001 nI satsagayAtrAmAM urvazI sAthe rahI. mathALe dharmAvalaMbI lakhyuM che paNa huM ene dharmalobhI kahyuM che. satsagayAtrAmAM teno mULa Azaya sevAbhAvano hoya che. joke yajamAnane tyAM kaMI khAsa kAma na hoya to paNa te svayaM sevAbhAvI che. be varasItapamAM paNa sAthe ja rahI hatI. tapanuM ArAdhana cAlu ja hoya. kAmathI mukta thAya tyAre tene yajamAnanA gharanA svAdhyAyakhaMDaderAsaranI jagAmAM zodhavI paDe. tenuM pAtharaNuM tyAM pAthareluM ja hoya. tithie dezAvagAzika dasa sAmAyika karI lagabhaga mauna rAkhe e ja pAtharaNA para pUro divasa gALe. te kahe : tamArI sAthe rahI ArAdhanA karI lauM to karmabhAra ocho thAya ne ? A saMsArabhAva choDavo che te ArAdhanA vagara kema chUTe ? urvazIne dIkarIo ane pati virenano ghaNo sahakAra maLe. mArA pustaka-vitaraNanuM badhuM kAma virena saMbhALe che. meM eka vAra tene eka prazna pUchyo ke ""mane lAge che ke bhagavAna RSabhadevanA samayamAM ApaNe baMne sAthe hatAM. te kevI rIte ?" tene vibhAga-11 322 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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Azcarya thayuM. meM kahyuM : mane kaMI vizeSa jJAnamAM A darzana thayuM che evuM nathI paNa A vAta jagajAhera che. tuM zodhI le kevI rIte ? te AzcaryathI joI rahI. meM pUchayuM, RSabhadevanI eka patnInuM nAma zuM hatuM ? "sunaMdA." mAtA marudevInA naMdanA stavanamAM nATAraMbha koNa kare che ? "urvazI... rUDI apsarA.... karatI nATAraMbha." urvazIne ? hA, have samajAyuM ApaNA nAmano saMdarbha e kALane maLato Ave che. mArAmAM AvuM vicAravAnuM jJAna kyAM che ? are nAmathI paNa ApaNe sAthe hatA ne ?" te kahetI : ""mane to atyAre paNa ApanI sAthe khUba AnaMda che. peTa bharIne lAbha uThAvuM chuM. koNa jANe mArI bhUlo thatI haze ?" huM kahuM : "huM satsaMgayAtrA ane sva-adhyAya mATe AvI chuM. mane tArI bhUlo zodhavAno avakAza kyAM che? jyAM premamaya sevA che tyAM bhUla zuM hoya? ApaNe sau sAdhakoe kadama milAvIne mokSamArge cAlavAnuM che. amArI AvI nirdoSa ane arthasabhara satsaMgayAtrA nihALIne anya mitro paNa bhAva karatA ke amAre tamArI sAthe AvavuM che, sAdhanA karavI che. "nirdoSa sukha nirdoSa AnaMda' 2005no satsagayAtrAno kAryakrama lagabhaga 16 kendro para vyavasthita goThavAI gayo hato. julAIthI okTobara, temAM zrI paryuSaNa kolaMbasa hatA, ane AyaMbilatapa nyUyaoNrka navanirmANa thayelA (darAsara) kendramAM hatuM. paraMtu eprila 21mIe mane gaMbhIra kAra akasmAta thavAthI te kAryakrama rada thayo. chatAM sau AzA rAkhatA ke bahena sAjo thaI jaze, Avaze. mane te saunA saddabhAvanI AzA hatI. paraMtu, mArI bImArI laMbAI gaI eTale tyAM javAnuM banyuM nahi. paraMtu mArA keTalAka satsaMgI mitro satsaMganA vyasanavALA che. traNeka mAsa pachI huM vAta karavA jevI sazakta thaI. pachI teo phonamAM 10-15-25 miniTa satsaMganI vAto karI che. koI prazna hoya to tenuM nivAraNa kare. vrata, pratijJA, paccakakhANa le. urvazI, vINA jevAM to sAmAyika ja kare ema kahuM to cAle. huM paNa patra dvArA temano saMparka rAkhuM chuM. temAM zAstrokta bodha paNa vaNAI jato. vaLI te mitro amadAvAda Ave tyAre paNa satsaMgano lAbha le che. Ama mArI maMgaLayAtrAnuM A mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-11 323

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aMga hajI paNa sAjuM-tAjuM rahyuM che. dareka zaheramAM sau Adara-premathI amAro utAro goThave. pAMcasAta divasa vyavasthita rahevA, jamavAnuM goThavI de. koI vAra bhojanabhakti mATe ghara vadhI paDe ane amArA divaso khUTI paDe. vaLI mAre besaNAM hoya, savAre mArI ArAdhanA hoya eTale mane be vAra jamavA javuM anukULa na paDe, to paNa koI vAra javuM paDe. A sau yajamAno satsaMgI hoya eTale AhAra sAttvika hoya. sAthe satsaMga, svAdhyAya, sAmAyika paNa yojAtA. chellAM paccIsa varSamAM to gujarAtI savizeSa jaina samAjanAM kuTuMbo sArI rIte tyAM sthira thayAM che, teomAM udAratA ane Adara baMneno subhaga yoga che. tethI anyonya ghaNI saMvAditA ane samIpatAno anubhava thato. A saunI sAthe mAro je samAjasevA samaye vAtsalyabhAva hato te sAttvipaNe vikAsa pAmyo. ane teo paNa pArivArikapaNe sAttvika saMbaMdha jALavatA. huM koI vAra pUchuM ke tamane levA, jamADavA vagerenI kevI rIte anukULatA che ? tyAre teo javAba ApatA tamAre amAruM e kaMI nahi jovAnuM. tamane anukULa haze te ja karavAnuM, tamane kaMI ja muzkelI paDavI na joIe. tamAro amArA para ghaNo upakAra che. teno badalo zuM vALI zakIe ? savizeSa huM je je zaheromAM jAuM chuM tyAM dareka sthaLe amadAvAdanA svajano hoya che. te uparAMta anya satsaMgIono paNa sAdara paricaya thato gayo. AthI mane ATha dasakA pUrA thayA toya aMgata satsaMgano prema ane satsaMgIono hArdika AvakAra hovAthI tyAM javAnuM AkarSaNa rahe che. mane ATha dasakA pUrA thayA pachI dara varSe nA pADuM ane vaLI jAuM, chevaTe A satsaMgayAtrA 1991 thI 2004 sudhI satata 15 varSa devagurukRpAe cAlu rahI. - dareka gAme dharmagRha-satsaMgagRha bAMdhelAne? tethI A bImArI samaye saue kendra para zubha bhAvanAthI prArthanAo yojI. e prathamanA mahinAmAM roje be-traNa kolathI sau khabara pUchatA. jyAre huM vAta karatI thaI tyAre paNa A krama jALavI rAkhyo. amAro saMparka taddana jIvaMta rahyo che. hajI tyAMnI yAtrAno teono khUba Agraha che. paraMtu meM kahyuM ke chellI bImArIthI page thoDI takalIpha vibhAga-11 mArI maMgalayAtrA 324

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che, vaLI mane coryAzImuM varSa cAle che eTale have coryAzInA cakkara pUrAM thAya tevI sau zubha bhAvanA Apo. vaLI meM gaye varSe kahyuM hatuM ke A varSa cheluM che. te rIte paNa mAruM Ayojana pUrNa thAya che. chatAM tamane mArI jagAnI khoTa AMzika rIte pUrI karI ApI che. amadAvAda nivAsI suzrAvaka zrI nautamabhAI : kathaMcita meM mArI jagA pUrI ApI che tema kahuM to cAle ? chellAM traNa varSathI suzrAvaka zrI nautamabhAI vakIla je jaina dharmanA AcAra ane vicAranI samatulAvALA che, temano lAbha tamane maLe che. te mArA dharmaputra che. svAdhyAya mATe, saunA saMparka mATe yogya vyakti ane vaktA che. pote svayaM sAdhanasaMpanna che, eTale anya koI apekSA vagara saune lAbha ApI rahyA che. pravacanakAra uparAMta bhaktirasamAM paNa nipuNa che. savizeSa zrI paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanA mATe teo yogya che. teoe paNa sauno Adara meLavyo che. temanAM dharmapatnI nItAbahena sAthe hoya che. teo amadAvAdanI ghaNI saMsthAomAM niHsvArtha sevAo ApI rahyA che. jaina samAjamAM pratiSThita nAmanA dharAve che. dilanA udAra ane paropakArajIvI che. teoe traNa varSamAM amerikAmAM zrotAgaNanI cAhanA meLavI che eTale 2008 sudhInA zrI paryuSaNanI ArAdhanA mATenuM Ayojana nirbhIta thaI rahyuM che. vaLI mArA amerikAnA pustaka viSenAM tathA kAryakrama viSenAM kAryo I-meilathI dareka sthaLoe teo saMbhALI letA hoya che. tamane mArI puravaNI mATe eka sAdhaka maLyA teno AnaMda che. sau pUro lAbha lejo. temano amerikAmAM satsaMga goThavavAno mAro prayAsa saphaLa thayo che. amArI satsaMgayAtrA sArthaka jaNAI che : dharmanI praNAlImAM savizeSa kendromAM zani-ravi rajAmAM vividha Ayojano thAya. temAM janasamUha sAmudAyika kriyAyoga jevA utsavomAM vadhu rasa dharAvatA hoya che, kAraNa ke temAM AbAlavRddha sau bhaLI zake; jemake pUjana jevI vidhio. jemAM eka pUjanano caDhavo le temAM pUruM kuTuMba bhAga laI zake. te pramANe mahAvIra janmotsava ke gRhasthonA kauTumbika prasaMgonA nimitte yojAtI dhArmika snAtra jevI pravRtti jemAM moTI saMkhyAmAM sau lAbha le. paraMtu svAdhyAya jemAM zravaNamAM mana-magaja-buddhine kasavAM paDe, zAstrokta abhyAsa alpa hoya, pravacananA zravaNano abhyAsa paNa niraMtara na hoya, eTale rucinI vRddhi na hoya te samajI zakAya. tene mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-11 325

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kAraNe anya vidhividhAno karatAM svAdhyAyamAM saMkhyAbaLa ochuM hoya te svAbhAvika che. bI vavAyuM che to vRddhi pAmaze. koI vAra ame svAdhyAyakAro vicAratA ke zrotAnI kriyAkAMDa sAthe tattvaruci vadhe to saMkhyA vadhe. chatAM lAge che ke tattvazravaNamAM lokone rUci alpa rahevAnI, eTale ApaNe saMkhyAbaLano Agraha na rAkhavo. alpa saMkhyAmAM paNa jijJAsu che to jeTalAne lAbha thayo te kharaze. ApaNe ApaNI pharaja bajAvavI. huM to ema kahuM ke A pravRtti nirarthaka gaI ja nathI. tenA lAbha ApaNA anubhavamAM Ave che. keTalAye bhAvikoe vyasanano tyAga karyo, mAMsAhAra ke abhakSya AhArano tyAga karyo, anya vastuomAM vanaspatijanya hoya tevuM letA thayA, tapa-vrata vRddhi pAmyA, sAmAnya jIvo anya niyamothI paricita thaI teno lAbha letA thayA; sAmAyika jevAM anuSThAno karatA thayA. prasaMge bhAratamAM kaTuMbasahayAtrA karatA gayA. aMgata paricaya thatAM mAro anubhava to e che ke kauTumbika ke aMgata jIvananA saMgharSo TaLyA. pArivArika prasaMgomAM dharmakriyAo karatA thayA. dIkarA-dIkarIo temanA prasaMgoe snAtrapUjAmAM bhakti karatAM thayAM, roga ke zoka jevA prasaMgoe paNa dharmabhAvanAne pradIpta rAkhatAM thayAM. parigrahanI mUcha ghaTADI savyaya karatAM thayAM. bhautikatA chatAM bhogavRttimAM saMyama rAkhatAM thayAM. gharamAM pavitra sthAnonuM alpAvika Ayojana thayuM. pustaka-zAstro rAkhatAM ane vAMcatAM thayAM. mAro aMgata anubhava ghaNo vizALa che. vistAranA bhaye alpa rajU karuM chuM. agara to jeTalI vyakti teTalA anubhava che. konA lakhuM ne konA svajana-viyoga thAya tyAre jIvonI mAnasika sthiti vyAkuLa thAya te saMsAramAM svAbhAvika che. tyAre meM joyuM ke amArA jevAnA paricayamAM che, svAdhyAyanI rucivALA che temAM thoDuM parivartana Ave che, je temane mATe AtmakalyANarUpa hoya che. suzrAvaka AdaraNIyazrI rajanIbhAI zAha (nyUjarsI) : chellAM thoDAM varSathI nyUjarsI hAla eDIsana bAju rahetA mULa amadAvAdanA vatanI zrI rajanIbhAI zAhano navo paNa jANe purANo paricaya thayo. te amadAvAdamAM A. bhagavaMta bApajInA saMparkamAM dhArmikaAdhyAtmika zikSaNa pAmyA hatA. tene amerikA jaIne vAgoLyuM hoya vibhAga-11 326 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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tema pravacana dvArA, zibiro dvArA ke patra dvArA pragaTa karatA hoya che. temanuM vaktavya zAstrokta paddhati chatAM rasALa ane saraLa hoya che. svAnubhavathI svAdhyAya Ape ane lakhe paNa kharA. savizeSa temanI jIvanazailI pratijJAbaddha che, eTale meM joyuM ke anya jijJAsuone te pratijJAbaddha karavAmAM saraLa thAya che. teonI paddhati zAstradohananI che, temAMthI rahasyo zodhI svahaste kAgaLa para avataraNa karI jherokSa karAvI sau mitrone pahoMcatA kare. dara mAse be mAse saune patrabodha maLe. AthI amerikAnAM kendromAM teo suzrAvaka tarIke saunA paricita che. temanuM sthAna mAnavaMtuM che, chatAM namra ane saraLa che. zAstranI zistamAM bAMdhachoDa na kare, saune te pramANe samajAve. teo koI vAra mArA pravacananA zrotApaNe upasthita thAya, tyAre ame prasannatA pAmatAM. pote kAma para jAya che. te pahelAM pratikramaNa jevAM anuSThAna karI le, saune karavA preraNA Ape. koI mIThAI jevuM na vAparavAnI pratijJA mAMge to samajAve ke bhagavAne mIThAIno pratibaMdha nathI kahyo, na khAva te sAruM che, paNa kaMdamULatyAganI pratijJA pahelAM levI, pachI bIjI levI. Ama saune sAcI samaja ApI sAcA AcAra tarapha vALe. huM emane pUchuM ke A patro lakho cho kyAre? savArathI sAMja kAme jAva. zani-ravi zibira bharo. tyAre kahetAH "devagurunI kRpAthI thAya che. mArA lAbha mATe karuM chuM." amadAvAda hatA tyAre pU. bApajI pAse dara varSe eka vastu-AhAranI tyAganI pratijJA lIdhI hatI. hamaNAM have traNa vastu para AvI gayA che. eTale navI rIta zodhI kADhI ke bAra tithi phona karavA ke levA nahi ane saune sAtha ApavA jaNAvI dIdhuM che. mArA para dara mAse be mAse satsaMgapatranI nakala Ave. temAM prathama to mArAM mAnavaMtAM, pAMca-sAta vizeSaNo hoya. huM lakhuM ke bhAI, emAM karakasara karajo. vaLI A jIvane mAnamAM laI javAne badale jJAnamAM laI jajo. Ama amAro saMparka lokottara mArgamAM pUraka thAya che. AvA jijJAsumitronI subhaga yAdI mArA smaraNapaTa para kalyANabhAvanAthI aMkAyelI che. mana thAya che ke prastuta lekhanamAM e yAdI utAruM. vistAranA kAraNe mArI kalama aTakI jAya che. hA, paNa e saune kahuM chuM ApaNe vItarAgazAsananI eka ja nAvamAM beThAM chIe, pAtharaNuM eka ja che. e nAva pahoMcaze, e pAtharaNuM UMcakAze tyAre sAthe ja mArI maMgalayAtrA 327 vibhAga-11

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prabhunA caraNamAM pahoMcazuM. agara to jema yAtrAe pagapALA jatA bhAviko eka-be mAIla AgaLa-pAchaLa hoya paNa pahoMce tyAre eka ja jagAe pahoMcavAnA che. pAlItANA tIrthamAM karoDo sAthe pahoMcyA ane ApaNe so-baso pAMcaso nahi pahoMcIe? zraddhA ApaNuM sAdhana che. amArA gurudeva kahetA ke : "rajaharaNa maNinuM kAma e ke sarovaramAM mUko to lIla, kacaro badhuM taLiye pahoMcADI de ke sApha karI de. ema tamAruM zraddhArUpI baLa bAdhaka tattvone, kaSAyone dUra karI tamane mukti nagaramAM pahoMcADI deze." A jijJAsuone prAraMbhamAM sUcavatI ke bhArata Avo tyAre tamArA rokANanA be-traNa bhAga pADajo. temAM eka bhAga bhagavatabhakti arthAt tIrthayAtrA, ane bIjo bhAga sAdhusaMtono samAgama. tame sau jANo cho ke Avo sAdhu-samAgama bhAratamAM zakya che. AnuM pariNAma e AvyuM e sau sAdhu-samAgama karatA thayA. huM saune kahetI ApaNA gItArthajano pAse che te levA jevuM che. huM ghaNA anubhava pachI zraddhApUrvaka A tattva kahetI. zrI goyaMkAjInI praNAlinI zibiromAM gaI. zrI tulasI AcAryanI prekSAdhyAnanI praNAlimAM gaI. te prakAro mananI sapATI para zAMti ApanArA che. abhyAsa rAkho to te sthaLe sthiratA paNa jaNAya. bhale te prayogo janatAne anukULa hoya. temAM daihika "yogA' jevA prakAro Ave che. vaLI jIvone daihika paugalika prakArono mahAvaro che, eTale tenuM AkarSaNa thAya. AthI AdhyAtmikatA gauNa bane ane jIvo to daihikaceSTA sudhI pahoMce. punaH punaH abhyAsa kare teo tenuM hArda meLavI zake. A gItArthajanonA saMparkamAM ApaNane tatvadaSTi maLe te vadhu lAbhadAyI che ema mAro anubhava che. amerikAnI satsaMgayAtrAnA satsaMgI sAthIono saMga vizALa vaDalA jevo che. dara varSe vaDavAIo khIle tema vistarato jAya che. tethI konA nAmano ullekha karuM ne kono mUke te eka mUMjhavaNa che. eTale pachI "tame amArA ame tamArA". vibhAga-11 328 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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12 adhyAtmayogI guruvarya pU. AcAryazrI vijya kalApUrNasUrijInI nizrAmAM bodha-vAcanAno suavasara ke adhyAtmayogI pU.A. zrI kalApUrNasUrijI alpAkSarI paricaya ka A.yogIzrIno bodha tathA zrIdevacaMdrajInA stavanono bhAvArtha (amadAvAda) A.yogIzrIno bodha (dhrAMgadhrA tathA surata) * A.yogIzrIno samASTakano upadeza (haidrAbAda) * samAgama tathA vAcanAno lAbha (pAlItANA) ja savAra ugI ke AthamI ? (kALadharma) * pUjyazrInA pArthivadehano aMtima saMskAra (zrI zaMkhezvara) * bhAvukonI bhaktinuM anokhuM darzana upakAra bhalu Dema tAro gurujI, mAro saphaLa thayo janmAro, bhavI aTavImAM bhamato bhamatAM kayAre AvatA Aro, kRpA karIne kara pakaDI lIdho mArga batAvyo ane tyAro." - gurujI. I .

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" "jenI AMkhamAMthI dayAnI - karUNAnI vRSTi thAya che ane jemanI vANImAMthI samatArUpI sudhA nItaryA kare che, tevA yogIpuruSane namaskAra karuM chuM'' ne emaNe evA yogInI kalpanA karI che ke, je vizva para niraMtara karUNA varasAve. kemake A vizva dravya ane bhAvathI du:khI che. | yogI puruSanuM A lakSaNa batAvyuM che ke, e koInI paNa sAme jue, teo karUNA varasAvatA lAge. AvA mahApuruSo pAse je koI paNa jAya temanA upara evI kRpAnuM buMda jhare ke, jenA dvArA tenA tApa ane saMtApa naSTa thaI jAya che. - mahopAdhyAyajI yazovijayajI

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| adhyAtmayogI pU.A.zrI vijayakalApUrNasUrijInI nizrAmAM vikaselI maMgalayAtrA eka yuvAna saMsAratyAgI thaI sagurunI zodhamAM nIkaLyo. thoDA divase te eka jaMgalamAM pahoMcyo. tyAM eka vRkSanI zAkhA nIce saMnyAsI dhyAnamagna beThA hatA. thoDI vAre temaNe sAdhakanA sAmI dRSTi karI tenuM mApa laI lIdhuM. sAdhaka kahe : ""yogIjI, mAre sadagurunI prApti karI jJAna meLavavuM che te mATe saMsAratyAga karIne nIkaLyo chuM. Apa mane sagurunI vATa batAvo." saMnyAsIe kahyuM : "A jaMgalamAM amuka sthaLo Avaze. nadI, pahADa Avaze. tyAra pachI aMte eka vizALa vRkSanI zAkhA nIce tane sadaguru maLaze." sAdhaka rAjI thayo, jijJAsA sAcI hatI. paraMtu utAvaLo hato. saMnyAsInA kahyA mujaba jaMgalamAM doTa mUkI, pAMca varSe pharIne Avyo tyAre e ja vRkSa, zAkhA ane saMnyAsI joyA. Azcarya pAmyo. vaMdana karIne Ubho. tenI AMkhamAM prazna hato, "are ! A vAta prathama divase kema batAvI nahi ? pAMca varSa huM pharyo ?' beTA, te divase tArI bhUmikA ATalI hatI. tuM pharIne paripakva thayo. tuM pharyo paNa tArA mATe huM ahIM Tharyo. have tAre pharavuM nahi paDe." Ama jIvane A mArge paripakvatA jarUrI che. tyAre maLelA sadUgurunI nizrAmAM je maLe te pUrNatA sudhI laI jatuM hoya che.' mArA mATe A kathA ghaNI lAgu paDe che. prAraMbhamAM AcAryazrIthI maLelo bodha, vacamAM ghaNAM sthaLo e pharyA pachI pAcho AcAryazrInA caraNakamaLamAM ja sArthaka thayo. adhyAtmayogI pU. AcAryazrI vijayakalApUrNasUrijI : alpAkSarI paricaya : pU. zrIno janma rAjasthAnanA phalodimAM thayo hato. pUrvanI sAdhujIvananI ArAdhanAnA saMskAra ho ke zuM teo bALapaNathI jIvadayAanuMkapAbhAvavALA hatA. koInuM ghara baMdhAya temAM keTalI hiMsA thatI haze? vanaspatinA jIvonI parAdhInatA jue, mUka prANIono zrama jue, ane mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-12 331

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temanAM nayano sajaLa banI jatAM. AthI vaDIlo tene mAkhaNiyo' suMvALo kahetA. temanuM nAma hatuM akSayarAja. sAmAnya rIte sAMsArika praNAlI pramANe vyApAramAM joDAyA, ane lagnajIvana paNa udayamAM hatuM. vaLI vyApAra mATe rAjanAMda gAma gayA. tyAM derAsaramAM prabhu zrI pArzvanAthanI pratimA sAme roja be kalAka bhakti kare. divasanA samaya na maLe to rAtre sAmAyika karyA pachI sUe. temanA zabdomAM "eka divasa mane aMtaramAMthI avAja UThyo ke tuM bhakti kare che paNa nigraMthamArge kyAre prayANa karIza?" tyAM ja utsAhapUrvaka prabhu pAse brahmacarya vrata lIdhuM. prabhu temane mATe AvA jIvaMta-sAkSAtarUpe hatA. pachI najIkanA upAzrayamAM sAdhumahAtmA pAse vratane pAkuM karavA pratyAkhyAna lIdhuM. upAzrayathI ghare jatAM dasa miniTa thAya. pelA prabhuvacanane vAgoLatAM bIjo nirNaya lIdho ke prathama paMdara divasamAM je muhUrta Ave temAM dIkSA levI. Ama utsAhabhera ghare pahoMcyAM. patnIe jamavA besADyA tyAre temaNe patnIne potAno manoratha jaNAvyo. patnI suzIla hatAM. kaMI InkAra na karyo. paraMtu potAnA pitAne jaNAvyuM ke tamArA jamAI to saMsAra tyAga karavAnuM kahe che. tame kaMI samajAvo. bALako nAnAM che tethI kaMI vicAra karavo joIe. pitAno javAba Avyo : mane jamAInA saMsAratyAganA bhAvathI AnaMda thayo, kAraNa ke huM e ja bhAvanA karato hato ane koI sAtha zodhato hato. tame kaMI phikara nA karatA. tamArI tathA bALakonI vyavasthA yogya rIte karIzuM. - sAMje akSayarAja ghare AvyA. patnI kahe : ""huM have zA mATe saMsAramAM rahuM ?" A sAMbhaLI teo rAjI thayA. "bahu sAruM." patnI kahe : ""paNa bALakonuM zuM ?" AcAryazrIne puchAvyuM, javAba Avyo : ""tamAruM saMsAramAM kalyANa nathI to bALakonuM kalyANa saMsAramAM na hoya. tame je mArge te mArge bALako." sasarAjIe gurunI tapAsa karI ane pU. zrI kaMcanavijayajIne guru tarIke svIkAryA. AthI teo baMne haLavA thaI gayAM. anukrame dareke yogya sthAne abhyAsano prAraMbha karyo ane bharayuvAnavaye, patnI, nAnAM bALako sAthe, vibhAga-12 332 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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sasarA ane sALA sAthe phalodimAM bhavyatAthI dIkSA mahotsava UjavAI gayo. AvA prasaMgo bhagavAnazrI mahAvIranA samayanA prasaMgonI kaMI jhAMkhI karAve che ke vItarAganAM darzana ane vANInuM zuM prabhutva che ? pU. zrInA gurumahArAjazrI kaMcanasUrijI mukhyatve kaccha vAgaDa pradezamAM ja viharatA hatA. pU. zrIe paNa trIsa varSa tyAM ja sthiratA karI e bhUmimAM jinazAsananI daSTino janasamUhamAM prasAra karI mahAna kArya karyuM. jema jema temanA jIvananI pavitratA nikharatI gaI tema tema teonuM adhyAtmabaLa sva-paramAM pragaTa thayuM. AthI teo "adhyAtmayogI' tarIke saunA dilamAM vasI gayA. teonuM A adhyAtma vAcanAmAM vAcA banatuM tyAre saune sparzI jatuM. 1990mAM teo sAdhu saMmelanamAM amadAvAda padhAryA hatA. tyAra pachI ghaNA pradezomAM vihArayAtrA thaI. tyAre zAsananAM ghaNAM kAryo thayAM chatAM teonI nirlepatA ajabanI hatI. pakSI gaganamAM UDe pachI tenI pAchaLa koI rekhA aMkita na thAya, tevuM temanuM jIvana hatuM. 2002nA mahA suda cothane divase vihAra samaye teo kALadharma pAmyA. temanA ziSyagaNa ane bhakto dvArA zaMkhezvaramAM zrI vijayakalApUrNasUri smAraka thaI rahyuM che. jemAM vRddha sAdhvIjanono zramaNI vihAra, guruprAsAda saMskRta pAThazALA vagerenuM Ayojana karavAmAM AvyuM che. temanI UMcAIne-guNone dhAraNa karavAno Avo prayAsa e ApaNuM RNakArya che. - 2006 nA mahA vada chaThThanA divase bhavya pratiSThA mahotsava thayo. bhaktonI bhAvanA kevI hoya che ! pUrA saMkulanuM, dasa divasanI pUrNa bhaktinuM rojanA 25 hajArathI 50 hajAra yAtrikonA sanmAnano pUrNa vyavasthA kharcano lAbha eka ja parivAre 30 karoDanA artha sahayogathI lIdho hato. dhanya te vyaktine. adhyAtmayogI pU. zrI vijayakalApUrNasUrijIno bodha (amadAvAda) : agAu jaNAvyuM tema 1984mAM pU. zrIno kaccha-mAMDavImAM darzanano lAbha maLyo hato. te sAthe navatattva pravezikAno prathama pATha temanI vacanalabdhi rUpe maLyo hato. tyAra pachI IDara, kobA jevA AzramanI nivRttimAM ane laMDana, AphrikAnI satsagayAtrA ane lekhanamAM khUba pravRtta rahevAnuM banyuM. vaLI puNyayoganI alpatA ke sAteka varSa darzanano lAbha na lIdho. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-12 333

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yogAnuyoga pU. zrI 1990mAM amadAvAda padhAryA hatA. koI satsaMgIe samAcAra ApyA. tarata ja paMkaja sosAyaTImAM upAzraya pahoMcI gaI. teo oLakhI gayA. meM paNa sahaja ja pUchayuM : "sAhebajI bodhano kaMI lAbha Apo." teoe tarata ja sAMje 5 thI 6 no samaya Apyo. lagabhaga 14/15 divasa zrIdevacaMdranA stavananA bhAvArtha je ghaNA gUDha che te mane bodharUpe samajAvyA. pUruM kathana to lakhatI nathI paNa mane temanA e bodhathI tattvaniSThAnI vAstavikatA samajamAM AvI. ane nirNaya pAko thato gayo ke tattvabodha vagaranI dharmArAdhanA ghI vagaranI roTalI jevI ke sAkara vagaranI mIThAI jevI che. amadAvAdanA samAgama pachI pU. zrI dhrAMgadhrA hatA. dhrAMgadhrAnA cAturmAsanI vizeSatA e hatI ke vyApArIoe saMgaThita thaIne nakkI karyuM hatuM ke pU. zrInA cAturmAsamAM bajAranI dukAno 10 vAge khUle. saue A vAta premathI vadhAvI lIdhI hatI. eka-be kalAka saMsAra-vyApAranI dukAnane badale dharmavyApAranA vyAkhyAne sau jatA. vaLI rAtre 8 thI 9 pU. zrI pote ja navatattvanA vargo calAvatA. lagabhaga so jeTalA puruSo A vargamAM AvatA. temAM DaoNkTaro ane enjiniyaro paNa sAro lAbha letA. A prathA anukaraNIya che. huM dhrAMgadhrA gaI tyAre savAre 10 thI 11 ane 3 thI 4 mane samaya Apyo hato. eka vAra eka DaoNkTara traNa vAge AvyA. "mane 15 miniTa Apo. huM rAtre vargamAM Avyo na hato. mane e pATha samajAvI do to rAtre taiyAra thaIne badhAnI sAthe joDAI zake." ane pUjyazrIe saharSa paMdara miniTamAM pATha samajAvyo. DaoNkTara paNa kevA utsAhI ke baporanA virAmanA samayano upayoga karI lIdho. pU. zrInuM sAnnidhya AvuM anokhuM hatuM. pUrA dhrAMgadhrAnA vAtAvaraNamAM temanI upasthiti chavAyelI jaNAtI hatI. bapore sAdhvI mahArAja bahenonA vargo calAve. 5. zrInA AdezathI eka divasa mAro svAdhyAya rAkhyo hato. saMcAlakone kahyuM ke A bahena pAse bahenone tattvano bodha ApavAnuM goThavajo. ane so jevAM bahenoe lAbha lIdho hato. pU. zrIno suratanA upAzraye maLelo bodha : bIjI vAra suratamAM cAturmAsa hatuM tyAre tyAM vAcanAno lAbha maLyo hato. suratamAM pU. zrIe jJAnasAranA pUrNatAnA prathama aSTakanI svavibhAga-12 mArI maMgalayAtrA 334

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noMdhathI bodha Apyo hato. chabastha avasthAmAM jIva apUrNa to che ja paNa dhyeya mULa svarUpanA lakSya karavAnuM che. svasvarUpe AtmA pUrNa che. pUrNa sukhathI bharelo che. tevuM daDha zraddhAna karavuM. saMsAranA padArtho game tevA suMdara ke mUlyavAna hoya, IndriyonAM sukho managamatAM ane kAyamanAM lAgatAM hoya to paNa te apUrNa ja rahevAnAM. vaLI jIvane tenAthI tRpti paNa nahi thavAnI. mATe A jIvanamAM yoga maLyo che to pUrNatAnuM lakSya karavuM, puruSArtha paNa tema ja karavo. puruSArtha vagara koI kArya saMpanna thatuM nathI. mokSamArganAM sAdhanomAM paNa puruSArthanI ja vizeSatA che. AtmA eTale puruSa pUrNatAno svAmI te puruSa, tene siddha karavuM te puruSArtha mATe pUrNatAnuM mAhAbhya svIkArI te lakSya puruSArtha karavo. tattvabodhanI phaLazruti paNa e ja che. AtmabaLanI hInatAthI ema lAge ke A badhuM kaThaNa che. paraMtu je sapuruSo pUrNa svarUpane pAmyA teo pUrNatAne lakSya ja pAmyA hatA. temanA svarUpanuM ciMtana karavuM. teozrI sAdhanAnA samAdhAna mATenI gurucAvI ApatA ane kahetA ke huM A jagatanI koI vastune cAhuM tenA karatAM zuddha AtmA-caitanya mAtrane cAhuM evI mArI prArthanA ane sAdhanA ho. AgamanA bhAvazrutane grahaNa karI ane bhagavAna na maLe tevuM na bane. hA, temAM eka zarata che ke tamAruM mana bhagavatumaya rahevuM joIe. bhagavAnane pavitra hRdayanuM Asana joIe che, huM to vAraMvAra e ja prayatna karuM chuM. kyAreka mAruM mana bhagavamaya bane che tyAre huM AtmAnA AnaMdane anubhavuM chuM. AtmA jJAnAnaMda che. jJAna che to AnaMda che. paraMtu jIvane pote Avo sukha ane AnaMdasaMpanna che tenuM bhAna nathI, mahimA nathI. chatAM gurugame jo rUci ane zraddhA kare to sva-nidhAnane te jANe. guragama prAptino upAya vinaya che. teo dhyAnanA aneka prakAramAM mukhyatA batAvatA. jyAM bhagavAnanI mukhyatA na hoya te dhyAna AtmarUpa na hoya tema kahetA. svAti nakSatramAM chIpamAM paDeluM varSAnuM pANI motIrUpe pragaTa thAya che. ApaNA pavitra manamAM prabhunAM vacana rasAI jAya to amRta pragaTa thAya, ApaNo AtmA paramAtma svarUpe pragaTa thAya. paraMtu je paudUgalika padArthomAM Asakata che tene A amRta potAnI pAse hovA chatAM mAnava mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-12 335

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viSapAna kare che. nigodathI mAMDa nIkaLyA have pAchA tyAM pahoMcazuM to te jIvo tamArI hAMsI karaze. tamane pUchaze ke ame to ema mAnatA hatA ke tame siddha thaI amane ahIMthI choDAvazo, tene badale tame ja ahIM AvI gayA ? zuM javAba Apazo? jIvonuM ajJAna zuM che? pU. zrI kahetA ke sarvajJanA vacanane na jANe, na zraddhe te ja moTuM ajJAna. saMsAranA saghaLA vyavahArane Adaravo te ajJAna, vyavahArajJAnathI vyavahAra nabhe paNa moha naSTa na thAya. upayogamAM mohanuM bhaLavuM te ajJAna, jJAnathI moha naSTa thAya. mohathI kema bacavuM? e kayA bAraNethI ghUse che te ja khabara nathI. tame sArAM kapaDAM paheryA hoya to sAcavatAM AvaDe che? rogathI bacavAnA upAya zodho cho, kAraNa ke hajI jIvane dehathI sukha che tevo bhrama che. chatAM dhAro ke maraNathI bacavA joSa jovarAve to maraNathI bacAya ? roga dUra thavA joSa jovarAve to bacAya ? bhAI ! A sarva tArA pUrva prArabdha AdhArita che. chatAM bacavA kevA upAyo yoje che ? tuM Avo buddhimAna ! mohathI kema bacAya te jANato nathI. daMDathI ghaDo banAvI zakAya ane daMDathI ghaDo phoDI zakAya. buddhi-jJAna vaDe moha jItI zakAya ane buddhi vaDe saMsAravRddhi paNa thaI zake. zuM karavuM te mATe tuM svataMtra chuM. huM mokSamArga tarapha cAlI rahyo chuM tevI pratIti na thAya to A janma, A jIvana zA kAmanuM ? - sAdhu samudAyane kahetA : samatA ja ApaNo prANa. zvAsa vinA cAle che ? samatA vinA kema cAle ? munijIvanano prANa samatA che. muninuM dhyAna, sarva kriyA samatAmaya hoya. samatAmAM ArUDha muni muktino AnaMda A dharatI para mANe che. loko bolatA ane mAnatA thayA che ke jainadarzanamAM dhyAna-yoga nathI. are ! jainadarzananAM tamAma anuSThAno dhyAnarUpa ja che. tamane tenI kaLA hastagata hovI joIe. dhyAnathI pApa nAza pAme. pratikramaNa zuM che? jenAthI pApanAza thAya che te dhyAna, bhaktithI vairAgya janme te dhyAnarUpa ja che. AvuM dhyAna choDIne have ToLe maLIne zibiro thAya che. jemAM keTalIka paddhatio daihika che. jIvone Ameya deha vahAlo che. eTale A zibiromAM ToLAM bhegAM thAya che. vaLI sAMbhaLyuM che ke e dhyAna zibiromAM vibhAga-12 336 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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rakama bharIne javAnuM. pratikramaNamAM rakama bharavAnI nahi; pApa jAya, dhyAna thAya. chatAM pratikramaNa thatuM nathI. Azcarya. pU. zrIno haidrAbAdanI sthiratAmAM maLelo bodha : - tyArapachI pU. zrI 89 varSa beMgalora-madrAsa bAju vihAramAM hatA, jayAre teo haidrAbAda padhAryA tyAre huM, padmAbahena araviMdabhAI, vIrabALAbahena tyAM gayAM hatAM. pratiSThA mahotsavamAM pravRtta chatAM amane pUrato samaya ApatA hatA. dareka vakhate amArI sthiratA pUchI letA ane te pramANe samaya goThavI ApatA. tyAMnA TrasTIo ane temanA ziSyone sUcanA hatI ke A baheno dUrathI tattvajijJAsAthI prerAIne AvyAM che tethI vAcanA samaye tattvajijJAsuo bhale Ave, bAkInA thoDI vAra bahAra besajo. te samaye jJAnasAranA zamASTakanI vAcanA ApI meM nodha karI hatI ane teozrI praNIta sarvajJa kathita sAmAyika vijJAnamAMthI mAhitI laI bhavAMtano upAya sAmAyika yoganuM pustaka prakAzita karyuM hatuM. temanI sAthe bhaktino lAbha paNa maLato. bhaktimAM bhagavAna sAthe bhaktanuM aikya kevuM hoya te tyAre anubhavamAM AvatuM. rAga-rAgaNI ke vAjiMtranI gauNatA rahetI. eka kalAka uparAMta A bhakti thatI. bIjA zrI ajitanAtha bhagavAnanuM stavana atipriyatA dharAvatuM : "prItalaDI baMdhANI re ajIta niNaMdazuM.' temAM paNa jyAre paMkti bolatA "tArakatA tuja mAhire zravaNe sAMbhaLI" pachI to "tArakatA tArakatA" zabda bhAva banI jato, te bhAva laya banI jato, tyAre lAgatuM teo sthaLakALathI mukta thaIne prabhuguNa sAthe ekatva mANI rahyA che. tyAre samUha paNa e bhAvane jhIlIne dhanya banato. Avo temano bhaktiyoga hato. pU. zrIe svayaM prabhubhaktimAMthI vairAgya pAmI batrIsa varSanI vaye be putro ane patnI sAthe saMsAratyAga karyo hato. temanI jIvanakathAnI nAnI pustikA bahAra paDI che "dhanya te dharA." temAM temanA jIvananI vizeSatA jANavA maLaze. huM koIvAra kahetI : "sAhebajI, sAdhanAmAM AgaLa vadhAtuM nathI. have mane pahelAMnI koI mUMjhavaNa ke saMgharSa na hatA. paNa aMtaranI zuddhi ane sthiratAmAM koI vAra kSati jaNAya che." tyAre teo eka ja maMtavya raju karatA : "je ahIM sudhI lAvyA che te prabhunI bhaktimAM vadhu zraddhA rAkho. te cheka pahoMcADaze. tamAruM astitva mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-12 337

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bhUlI jAva. prabhunA guNamAM otaprota thAva; zuddhi pragaTa thaze. sthiratA Avaze. e ja AtmAno AnaMda che." mArAthI bAhyakriyAmAM vizeSa rasa ane udyama nathI thatA." "zrAvakAcArane yogya Avazyaka kriyA karavI kAraNa ke AraMbhaparigrahanAM pApa thatAM rahe ane pratikramaNa ke AlocanA na thAya to zuddhi na thAya. tamArI svAdhyAyazakti uttama che. tenAthI ghaNo lAbha thaze, nirjarA thaze." pUjya zrI haidrAbAdathI amadAvAda be-traNa divasa mATe padhAryA hatA. tyAre darzanano lAbha maLyo hato. vaLI amArA satsaMganA sabhyone laIne gaI hatI. thoDI vAra bodha Apyo. pachI eka ziSya kahe : kAle traNeka hajAra mANaso vAsakSepa mastake caDhAvI gayA. tethI hAthe have jarAya UMco thato nathI mATe mAMgalika sAMbhaLIne saMtoSa mAnajo. pUjyazrInA sAnnidhyano Atmika lAbha ane anubhava thayA pachI have evuM hatuM ke : bhaktavatsala tamAruM biruda jANI keDo na cheDo have lejo tANI." AvA bhAvollAsathI chellAM be-traNa varSamAM pAlItANA ane kaccha pU. zrInI sthiratA hoya tyAre ghaNuM kharuM darzanArthe javAnuM thayuM. pAlItANA to be vAra paMdara-vIsa divasanuM sAnnidhya maLyuM. zrI pAlItANAmAM thayelo samAgama : teono prathama prazna keTalA divasanI sthiratA che. pAlItANA paMdaravIsa divasa hatI. eTale savAre eka kalAka ane bapore sAdhvIjanonI vAcanA samaye lAbha maLato. mArI sAthe koI ekAda bahena AvatI. - savAre jJAnasAranI noMdhapothImAMthI bodha ApatA. bahAra to seMkaDo mANaso UbhA hoya paraMtu zAMtithI eka kalAka amane bodha ApatA. sau temanA ziSyone pUchatA tyAre javAba maLato. A zrAvikA eka ja evAM che ke je dUra dUrathI tattvanA bodha mATe Ave che. temanI jijJAsAne kAraNe pU. zrI temane pUrato samaya Ape che. tethI badhAMne bahAra besavAnuM kahe che. mArI sAthe puSpAbahena roje AvatAM, vaLI koI ekAda bhAI paNa hoya. pAlItANA vyAkhyAna to temanA (putra) ziSya, AcAryazrI kalAprabhasUrijI ApatA. teozrI prAraMbhamAM phakta paMdara miniTa vyAkhyAna ApatA. vayavRddhatAne kAraNe avAja ati dhImo hato. AgaLanI ekAda vibhAga-12 338 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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hAramAM avAja pahoMce paraMtu mAnavamedanI to betraNa hajAranI hoya. eka vAra meM becAra bahenone pUchyuM ke tamane saMbhaLAtuM nathI chatAM badhAM pUro kalAka beso cho ? "are, temanA darzanathI pavitra thavAya che. A to divyapuruSa che." temanA darzanamAM AvuM cuMbakIya tattva hatuM. tyAre mane paNa samajAyuM ke teonI adhyAtma-pavitratAnuM mAhAbhya keTaluM vyApaka che? A zrotAgaNa muMbaI, madrAsa, beMgalora, kaccha vagere sthaLethI Avato. teozrI daseka varSathI kaccha gayA na hatA tethI jANe pUruM kaccha-bhuja pAlItANAmAM UtarI AvyuM hoya tevuM lAgatuM ane dhanano sadvyaya to mana mokaLuM mUkIne karatA. dravyAdinI ghaNI prabhAvanA thatI. joke mAnavaprakRtimAM lobhanI mukhyatA che. eTale prabhAvanAnI bhIDamAM zista jaLavAtI nahi. je zrotAo eka kalAka zAMtithI besatA te ja zrotAo dhamAla karI mUkatA. tyAre prabhAvanAmAM AdaranuM mAhAbhya chatAM temAM azista ane tucchatA jaNAtI. tyAre thatuM ke janatAne lAlacathI dharma pamADI zakAto nathI. joke zvetAMbara AmnAyamAM A prathA phUlIphAlI che ane temAM AvuM dUSaNa paNa che. hamaNAM kyAMya sudhAro thato jAya che, khera. eka mahArAjazrIe kahyuM paNa kharuM ke prathA sudhAravA jevI che. pachI vaLI be cAturmAsa kaccha thayAM tyAre paNa darzanArthe javAnuM thayuM hatuM. pU. zrI vihAramAM hoya, ane yAtrAmAM hoIe eTale vizeSa vAcanA jevuM banyuM na hatuM. vaccenAM varSomAM duSkALanI paristhitimAM pU. zrI kahetA. mUka pazuonuM rakSaNa karajo. ane e samayanA vihAramAM lagabhaga traNa karoDa jevI rakama jIvadayA mATe thaI hatI. teo pravacanamAM kaMI kahetA nahi, temanI upasthiti ja paryApta thatI. pU. zrI kacchamAM cAturmAsa mATe padhAryA tyAre janasamUhamAM utsAha anero hato. moTAM moTAM zaheronI hadamAM temanA citrapaTa mUkIne kamAno kADhI hatI. temanA pagalAM pavitra-kaMkunA manAtAM hatAM. camatkAra gaNAya evuM ghaNuM banatuM. paraMtu teo tenI gauNatA karatA eTale vAto vahetI thavA pAmatI na hatI. pUjyazrInI vizeSatA : vizALapaNe tIrtha pratiSThAo thatI hatI. eka vAra kacchamAM pratiSThA mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-12 339

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mahotsavamAM sAmaiyAmAM jaI rahyAM hatAM. mArgamAM eka bahene vaMdana karIne potAnI hIrAnI baMgaDIo caraNamAM mUkI dIdhI. emanAM darzanamAM evuM yogabaLa hatuM ke lokone dhananI mUcha ghaTI jatI ane sadvyaya karatA. chatAM teo sadA alipta. mahotsava pUro thAya eTale zAla pramArjIne UbhA thaI jAya. koNa AvyuM, keTalI dhanarAzi bhegI thaI, keTalI vaparAI kaMI ja vaLagaNa nahi. koI TrasTa UbhAM karyA nahi. teo kahetA: 'e kAma zrAvakonuM che. sAdhuone e pApamAM pADazo mA." vAsakSepa ApavAnA samaya sivAya koI TrasTIo ToLe vaLI bese, miTiMgo thAya tevuM prayojana rAkhatA ja nahi. ekAMtamAM svAdhyAyalekhana ane jApa karavAmAM ekAgra thatA. tyAre ja to AvuM adhyAtmabaLa pragaTa thayuM hatuMne ! game tevI bhIDamAM ke bhIDa pachI jANe kaMI hatuM ja nahi tema svAdhyAyamAM lIna thaI jatA. kSINakAya, paNa mAMjarA netromAM pavitratA TapakatI. prasannavadana ane apramAdIpaNAnAM darzana thatAM. TekA vagara kalAko sudhI besavAnuM joke kacchamAM varSo pahelAM gAyanA dhakkAthI paDI javAthI page phrekacara thatAM eka paga TUMko thayo hato. tethI vhIlacera vAparatA hatA. eka vAra kahe : A jamaNo paga nizcaya ane DAbo paga vyavahAra che. jamaNo UpaDavAnI nA pADe eTale DAbo UpaDato nathI, baMne sAthe cAle che. tema nizcaya-vyavahAra gauNa-mukhya thaI sAthe ja hoya che. tattvanA nAme ekAMta mArga pakaDazo nahi. jyAre jyAre paradeza javAnuM thatuM tyAre darzanArthe jaI zubhAziSa meLavatI. teonuM sUkSma anusaMdhAna rahe te mATe dara vakhate kaMI AjJA mAMgatI. teo kahetA ke tamArI tattvajijJAsA, svAdhyAyaprema ane bhakti ja tamane AgaLano mArga batAvaze chatAM koI vAra logassa jevA jApa ApatA. chelle nava lAkha navakAra ane eka karoDa aImanA jApa ApyA hatA. ane pAMca varSamAM thaI jaze tema kahyuM hatuM. te pramANe temanI ja kRpAthI thaI zakyuM. tenA kAraNe saMtoSajanaka yathAzakti sthiratA ane kSayopazamano spaSTa lAbha anubhavamAM Ave che. manamAM ema thayA karatuM ke have A paradezanI yAtrA samApta karavI. AthI eka vAra meM pUchyuM : "mAre have paradeza javAno AraMbha baMdha karavo che.' pUjayazrI bolyA : ""tamArI zArIrika zakti hoya tyAM sudhI svapara zreyarUpa A kAryamAM kaMI bAdhakatA nathI, tyAM sAdhu jaI zake nahi. vibhAga-12 340 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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tethI yogya zrAvaka-zrAvikAe A kArya karIne tyAMnA jijJAsuonI jijJAsA pUrI karavI. AthI tamAre te pratibaMdhano niyama levAnI jarUra nathI." - pU. zrI temanA ja anubhavathI kahetA : sAcA hRdayathI bhakti karo ane jIvane vairAgyano guNa na pragaTe evuM na bane. bhagavAne mane pUchyuM hatuM ke te bhakti karI, have AgaLa vadha. ane temanA cittamAM camakAro thayo ke aho ! bhagavAna kahe che saMsAratyAga kara. te ja paLe temaNe maMdiramAM sarva viratinA manomana paccakakhANa lIdhA ane batrIsa varSanI uMmare sahakuTuMba, saMsAratyAga ryo. eTale kahetA : sAcI bhaktinuM kArya virakti che. virakti vairAgyane pedA kare che, te vairAgya ja svayaM svabhAva che, AtmAnubhUti che. koI vAra temanA sAnnidhyamAM Azcarya e thatuM ke hajAro mAnavone navakAramaMtra ane vAsakSepa pradAna karyA pachI jANe koIne maLyA ja nathI tema pATa para jJAnasAranI noMdhapothI laI adhyayanamAM lIna thaI jatA ke oraDo baMdha karAvI prabhusmaraNamAM lIna thaI jatA. temAMthI nikhareluM adhyAtma anyane mATe paNa lAbhadAyI thatuM. hajAro mAnavo temanAM darzana mATe tApamAM tape, koI vAra jAte A jotI tyAre vicAra thato ke AmAM temanI pavitra ane sarva jIvonA kalyANanI bhAvanA ja che. jIvonI UMDI samaja na hoya to paNa temanA samAgamamAM kalyANa thaze tevo vizvAsa saune preraNA Apato. yogInuM lakSaNa ja che ke temanuM astitva tApa-saMtApa dUra kare. thoDAM varSa paNa mArA bhAgyamAM temanuM yogatva mANavAnuM maLyuM. bhaktonI bhAvanAno sAkSAt darzana-anubhava to temanA aMtima saMskArane divase thayo. kahevAya che ke yogIjanone bhAvinI ghaTanAnA saMketa maLatA hoya che. 2001nuM cAturmAsa temanI A dehasthitinI janmabhUmi phalodimAM nakkI thayuM hatuM. phalodinA bhaktoe kahyuM A varSe to ame Apano cheDo choDavAnA nathI. ane e bhUminuM RNa cUkavavAnuM hoya tema pU. zrIe sAdhu-sAdhvI samudAya sAthe phalodi cAturmAsa karyuM. cAturmAsa pUruM thayA pachI phalodithI caturvidha saMgha sAthe prayANa karyuM. cha'rI pAlaka saMgha zaMkhezvara javAno hato. mArgamAM pratiSThA mahotsava jevAM kAryo, dIkSA-pradAnanAM kAryonI hAramALA lAgI hatI. athAgapaNe prasanna ane niHspRhabhAve te kAryo saMpanna thatAM. pU. zrInI sAthe mAnava-maherAmaNa to hoya ja. e dharatInuM RNa cUkavavA jANe tyAM ja aMtima zvAsa lIdhA. mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-1ra 341

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savAra UgI ke AthamI? : mahAmAsanA e ThaMDInA divaso hatA. pU. zrIne zaradI thaI hatI. temAM dhULiyA mArganI dhULa bhaLI. tenI koI gaMbhIrapaNe noMdha levAya te pahelAM savAre kapha jAmI gayo. kADhavAnI zakti nahi. mahA suda 4ne zukravAre prAtaH pratikramaNAdi pUrNa thayAM. ane kALe karAmata karI. pU. zrIno pArthiva deha chUTI gayo. temano pavitra AtmA AgaLanA sAdhanA kSetre prayANa karI gayo. eka kalAkamAM bhAratanA khUNe khUNe A du:khada samAcAra pahoMcI gayA. acAnaka ja A paristhiti UbhI thatAM sau mUMjhAyAM. rAjasthAnanA jhAlora pAse kesavaNA sAva nAnuM gAma. jayAM so mANasane paNa rAkhavAnI sagavaDa nahi ane pU. zrInA bhaktono mAhola keTalo moTo hoya teno ziSyone ane mukhya saMcAlakone khyAla hato. dUra hatA tevA agragaNyA bhakto te ja divase pahoMcI gayA. amuka najIkano sAdhu samudAya paNa pahoMcI gayo. sau mUMjhAtA hatA ke aMtima saMskAra kyAM karavA ? prathama to gAmanI janatA kahe : "amArA gAme Avo yoga thayo che mATe samAdhi ahIM thavI joIe. ame pAlakhI laI javA nahi daIe." gAmajanone pU. zrInA bhaktonI bhAvi yojanAnI vigata kahIne samajAvyA. pU. zrInI upasthitinI mahAnatA to hatI. anaupasthitinI mahAnatA temanA cIMdhelA mArge cAlavAnI che. paNa ApaNe e AMbavAnuM gaju nahi eTale smAraka karIne saMtoSa mAnavo rahyo. have prazna hato samAdhinuM sthaLa kyAM nakkI karavuM. koI bhakta to pote ja guru-samAdhimaMdira karaze tevI bhAvanA karI. koIne lAgyuM ke zatruMjayamAM samAdhi-maMdira thAya to bhAvimAM te nimitte bIjAM paNa kAryo thAya. koIne lAgyuM ke pU. zrI zaMkhezvara javA nIkaLyA hatA. vaLI teone zaMkhezvaradAdA pratye pragADha prIti hatI mATe zaMkhezvara aMtima saMskAravidhi mATe pAlakhI tyAM laI javI. Ama adhyAtmayogI to pArthiva deha tyajI gayA paNa pachInI vidhinI vyavasthA mATe pUrA chatrIsa kalAke nirNaya levAyo. bhAvukonI bhaktinuM anokhuM darzana : bhAratabharanA khUNe khUNethI bhakto nIkaLyA. kyAM javuM, zuM karavuM ! kalAko sudhI kaMI ja samAcAra na maLe. AthI moTAM sTezano para mAIka para jAherAta karavAmAM AvI ke pAlakhI zaMkhezvara tIrthe ravAnA thaI che. vibhAga-12 mArI maMgalayAtrA 342

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A samAcAra maLatAM khAsa TreIna dvArA, phalAITa, moTara, Traka, jene je sagavaDa maLI te pramANe hajAro bhAviko doDI AvyA. na koIne takalIpha lAgI, na bhUkha-na tarasa, eka ja bhAvanA pU. zrInAM aMtima darzana, yogInA pArthiva dehanuM jIvone kevuM mAhAbhya hoya che ! pavitrapaNe jivAyelA jIvananuM sattva dehane paNa darzanIya banAve che. zaMkhezvara huM paNa pahoMcI gaI. hajAro bhAviko e dehane vAsakSepathI vadhAvatAM dhanyatA anubhavatA. ame tyAM pahoMcyA ane vAsakSepathI vadhAvyA, tyAre AMkho azruthI bharAI gaI. mArA manane thayuM ke he gurudeva ! hajI mAre keTalo paMtha kApavAno bAkI che. Apano eka sahAro hato. pratyakSatAnI jarUra hatI. ane Apa to prayANa karI gayA ! tyAM besIne thoDI vAra jApa karI manane zAMta karyuM. mahA suda chaThThanA divase savAre cAra vAge pAlakhI zaMkhezvaramAM AgamamaMdiranI jagAmAM darzanArthe padharAvavAmAM AvI hatI. sAdhu-samAjanI praNAlI pramANe sarvavidhi thaI. dareka caDhAvA to lAkhothI zarU thaI karoDa sudhI pahoMcyA. bhAviko mAnatA ke Avo yoga kyAre maLe ? huM manamAM vicAra karatI ke bhAvikone kevA bhAva Upaje che. bharabapore kalAko sudhI taDakAmAM besavAnuM chatAM pANI paNa pIvAnuM yAda na Ave. - pAlakhIyAtrA bArane badale traNa vAge nIkaLI. harSa manAvavo ke zoka tenI mane to sUjha na paDe. pAlakhInI AjubAju gulAla ane dhUpa havAmAM phelAya. pAlakhI UMcakavAnI, sparza karavAnI saunI paDApaDI. eka bAju utsAha jouM ane bIjI bAju mAruM mana mUMjhAya ke have pachI zuM ? bhAviko to jaya jaya naMdA, jaya jaya bhaddAnA dhvani sAthe nAce kUde. koInA cakSu sajaLa paNa bane. lagabhaga pacAsa hajAra mAnavo kyAMthI AvyA, jyAM samAyA. moTuM rasoDuM kholyuM hatuM. kyAM jamyA ? koIe upavAsa paNa karyA, badhuM bhAvavibhorathI bharyuM hatuM. Akhare to je karavAnuM hatuM te paLa AvI. mahA suda chaThThanI DhaLatI sAMje sUraja AthamavAnI taiyArI hatI, tyAre pU. zrInA nazvara dehane bhUmi para karelI sukhaDanA lAkaDA vagerenI goThavaNImAM suprata karyo. azrubharI AMkhe bhAvikoe agni saMskAra karyo. sau sajaLa nayane bolI UThyA : adhyAtmayogI amara ho." bhaktonA A nAdathI gagana gAjI UThyuM. aMte darzanIya deha paNa agnimAM vilIna thayo. pU. zrI temanI vANI ane graMthonA akSaradehathI ApaNI sAthe ja mArI maMgalayAtrA 343 vibhAga-1ra

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che. temaNe varasAveluM vAtsalya ApaNA hRdayamAM aMkita che. temano bodha ApaNA jIvanano sahAro che. temaNe Apelo navakAramaMtra ApaNuM zaraNa che. teozrInuM yogabaLa sUkSmapaNe kalyANamaya che. mAro anubhava che ke mArI dareka sAdhanAmAM teozrInuM yogabaLa nikharyA kare che. varSonI zUnakAranI, satsaMganA virahanI vedanA, mArganI jhaMkhanAnuM samAdhAna ApIne mahAna upakAra karyo che. na azAMti, na ajaMpo. jANe evuM lAge ke saraLatAthI sanmArge cAlavAnI cAvI ApatA gayA che. je janmAMtare paNa sAthe rahIne mukti pradAna karaze. mArA jIvananI A apUrva ghaTanA che, mahatpuNyayoge maLelo A paMcama-duSama kALano sahAro hato ane che. rojanA nityakrama pramANe savAre 9 thI 12-30 sAmAyika hoya che. ekAMtamAM maunanI ArAdhanAno yoga jaLavAya che. vaLI navakAramaMtranI mALA bArabhAvanAnI ke anya anuprekSA. pachI "OM arhama nama:' jApa. aMtamAM sahaja rIte upazAMta bhAva, upayogathI upayogamAM rahevuM. A anuSThAnathI kavacit sthiratAno anubhava thato hoya che. Aje e sthiratA pachI tenI smRtimAM eka bhAva Avyo ke sAdhaka avasthAnI sthiratAmAM zAMtinuM-AnaMdanuM vedana alpakAlIna chatAM svarUpa pratyenA apUrvatAno sparza karAve che to zailIzIkaraNamAM AtmAnI sarvoccadazAnI addabhutatA kevI haze ke jenuM varNana sarvajJa paNa karI zakyA nathI. deva-gurukRpAnI prasAdIrUpa AvI ArAdhanA thatI rahe ane AtmA pUrNatA pAme tevI prabhu pratye prArthanA. mArga maLyAnI niHzaMkatAnuM pU. zrInuM pradAna e A jIvanuM amUlya Atmadhana che. tenA vaDe sanmArgamAM AgaLanI sAdhanAnuM sAtatya jaLavAya che. parama upakArI guruvarya mATe mArI kalama nAnI che, hRdayamAM temano bodha aMkita che te amApa che. koTizaH vaMdana ho. vibhAga-12 mArI maMgalayAtrA 344

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1 3 UmoTara akasmAtathI gaMbhIra bimArI (2005) bodharUpa gUDha saMketa * eprilanI 21mIe aNadhArI ghaTanA * pUrA be mAsa pathArIno saMga * sevA cAkarImAM ghaNI sagavaDo tathA parivAranI kALajI, DokaTarono sadbhAva paradezanA satsaMgI mitronI sadbhAvanAnuM darzana * sthAyI satsaMgIono satsaMga-bhaktino sAtha * AMtarika maMthana tathA anuprekSAnI saMgata * paradezanI satsaMgayAtrAnI pUrNAhUti * pU. sAdhujanonA darzana-pagalA-mAMgalikano lAbha gaI ha)%C, S) | DJ 9 prerakabaLA mANo taNA dhAryA sadAye vizvamAM tathAtAM nathI, bhAvi taNAM bhAvo kadI niSphaLa banI. jiAtA nathI. naravIra kaThI kAyarI banI, mahAkathI kAMtA nathI, zatabaMdhano veThe chatAM, paNa siMha khaDa khAtA nathI."

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'pudagala anubhava tyAga.' bahu ja majhAnA manovaijJAnika AyAmamAM A vAta thaI che. pudagala tyAga nathI kahevAyuM. pudagala anubhava tyAga kahevAyuM che. khAvAnuM raheze; eno anubhava na rahevo joIe. koI pUche : zuM jamyA? tamAre yAda karavuM paDe. asAtAno udaya hoya tyAre sAdhakanI sAvadhAnI ene emAMthI bhaLatA kevI rIce bacAvI le che ! rogane zarIramAM phelAto joyA kare che ane pote zarIrathI keTalo bhinna che, e bhedajJAnane anubhUtimAM pherave che. Aja rIte udaya mohanIya karmano che, huM to nizcayanayanI dRSTie zuddha AtmasvarUpamAM lIna chuM. mAre ne karmane zuM ? e vicAradhArAne vyApaka banAvI zakAya. - pU. zrI yazovijayasUrIjI

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| eprilanI 21mIe aNadhArI durghaTanA moTara-akasmAtathI gaMbhIra bImArI (2005) : 200pamAM amerikAnI satsaMgayAtrAno pUro kAryakrama goThavAI gayo hato, kAraNa ke cha mAsa pahelAM kendrone jaNAvavuM jarUrI hoya che, jethI teo anya kAryakramo goThavI zake. amerikAnA satsaMgI mitrono sAtha, sahavAsa, satsaMgaprema ane sadbhAvanAo mane tyAM javA prere che. chatAM saheje kaheluM ke 2005no pravAsa mAro AkharI che. kAraNa ke tyAre mane coryAzImuM varSa cAlatuM haze eTale coryAzInA cakkara pUrA karavA che tema A kAryakrama paNa pUro karavo ema lAge che. 2005nA julAImAM lagabhaga javAnuM hatuM. eprila 21mIe nAkoDAjI darzana karavA nIkaLyAM hatAM. tyAM DIsA cokaDI pAse TrekTara sAthe kArano akasmAta thayo. ame cAra satsaMgIo hatAM. huM DrAIvaranI sITanI pAchaLa beThI hatI. TrekTara sAthe gADI athaDAI jatAM, tenA AMcakAthI DrAivaranI sITa klIpamAMthI nIkaLI gaI, pelI sITa mArA para AvI gaI. mArI spAInalanA uparanA prathama be maNakAne pheMkyara thayuM, mAthAmAM moTo jakhama thayo, paganA DhIMcaNamAM phaksara thayuM. kAnamAM thoDI IjA thaI. anya traNane sAmAnya mAra vAgyo hato. sadUbhA DrAivara tadana sAjo hato. DIsAnI haoNspiTalamAM sAmAnya sAravAra laI mAthAmAM TAMkA levarAvI ame sau ebyulansa kAramAM amadAvAda AvyAM. savAre pAMca vAge nIkaLyAM hatAM. ATha vAge akasmAta thayo ane ame lagabhaga 1 vAge amadAvAda AvyAM. parivArane khabara ApI, atule DaoN. surubhAInI sAthe rahI ghaNI vyavasthA karI hatI. mane sIdhI haoNspiTalamAM laI gayA. maNakAnI IjAne lIdhe atula vagere sau ciMtita hatAM. paraMtu te IjA tyAM ja aTakI gaI eTale mane lakavA jevI asara pahoMcI na hatI. vaLI devagurukRpAe ahaMma namaH jApanA anusaMdhAne mane AkuLatA na hatI. sabhAna hatI ane samatA hatI. (sAthenA mitro kahetA.) pUrA be mAsanI pathArIno saMga : mAnasika nabaLAI, tapabhaMgano doSa : te divasamAM AyaMbilanI oLI hatI, Aso suda 12 hatI, sAtamuM AyaMbila hatuM. sAMje koI davA sAthe dUdha levuM jarUrI hatuM, jo ke mane e mArI maMgalayAtrA 347 vibhAga-13

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samaye vicAra na Avyo ke cAra vAgyA che. have divasa pUro thaze. meM prathama to nA pADI ke mAre kazI jarUra nathI. dardI bImArImAM zarIra DaoNkTarane soMpe paNa AtmAne sajAga rAkhe. DaoNkTare kahyuM : A davA sAthe dUdha levuM jarUrI che nahitara bIjI takalIpha thaze. ane huM mAnI gaI. manobaLa nabaLuM. kaMI bahu vicAra na karyo ane davA sAthe dUdha lIdhuM. maNakAnI sAravAra mATe Doke moTA AbhUSaNanI jema moTo paTTo mAthAthI Doka sudhIno majabUta rIte bAMdhavAmAM Avyo. AmAM mane AkuLatA na hatI. paraMtu rAtre mArI takalIpha anidrAnI che. Ame mArI sAthe nidrAne mitratA ochI che, temAM jagA badalAya. Doke paDyo hato. ghenanuM Ijezana paNa vyartha gayuM. lagabhaga paMdara divasa anidrAmAM gayA. kyAreka thoDuM jholuM Ave. AthI rAtre thoDI akaLAmaNa thatI. paNa jApathI thoDI vAramAM te zamI jatI. bIje divase page sarjarI thaI. DhIMcaNamAM DhAMkaNI pAMceka varSa pahelAM badalAvI hatI, tenI bAjunuM hADakuM bhAMgI gayuM hatuM. tyAM hADakuM sAMdhI skU lagAvyA. eTale pUrI pathArIvazatA AvI. paganI paravazatA hatI paraMtu vedanA na hatI. vikalpa UThato ke A paravazatA dUra thazene ? vaLI DaoNkTara kahetA : tame cAlatA thavAnAM cho. kaMThe AbhUSaNano bhAra evo hato ke jyAM jyAM dhAra ghasAya tyAM tyAM moTI cAMdIo paDe. pUrI cAmaDI ja nIkaLI jAya ane paTTIo ghasAtI rahe tenI jalana thayA kare. Doke paTTo to eka miniTa mATe paNa kADhavAno nahi. maNakAnI mukhya sAravAra e hatI. akasmAtanA samaye to meM kaMI koIne kahyuM ke pUchavuM nathI zuM thaze? teo je kaMI karatA te jotI. mane eTaluM yAda Ave che mArA aMtaramAM "ahama namaH" je gurudeve eka karoDanA jApa karavAnA abhigama-sAdhanA ApelAM tenA saMskArathI e sulabha thayuM hatuM. ethI kathaMcita vedanA sahya thatI hatI. kAraNa ke tenuM raTaNa punaH punaH jhabakatuM rahetuM hatuM. haoNspiTalamAM zArIrika takalIpho hatI paraMtu cAre bAju sevA ane sadUbhAvanA eTalA vipula pramANa mAM hatA ke takalIpho TakatI nahi. hA, zArIrika vedanAnuM karma pote bAMdhyuM udayamAM AvyuM hatuM. temAM koI bhAga na paDAve, iMdrAdi saune te svayaM bhogavavuM paDe. chatAM auSadha-upacArathI rAhata hatI ane devagurukRpAe samatA hatI. jApanA kAraNe prasannatA vibhAga-13 mArI maMgalayAtrA 348

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rahetI. kyAreka vikalpo UThatA ke ApaNe dhArIe zuM ane thayuM zuM? kayA doSe AvuM banyuM ? svanirmita azAtAno udaya. vaLI citta zAMta thaI prabhusmaraNamAM lAgI jatuM. karmasattA sAme dharmasattA ja mahAna che. pArivArika sevAcAkarInI pUrI sagavaDo : ramonA (putravadhu) sArI rIte malamapaTTA kare ethI kaMI rAhata thAya. paNa eka jagAe rUjhAya to bIjI jagAe cAMdI thAya. Ama cAreka mAsa paTTAnI dostImAM takalIpha rahI. chatAM ekaMdare tenAthI paNa TevAI gaI. arthAt svIkArI lIdhuM ke Ama ja calAvavAnuM che. azAtAnuM karma khape che. kudaratanI kaLA akaLa che. chellA thoDA samayathI phoTA paDAvatI na hatI. mArA phoTA na levA saune samajAvatI, tene badale have paga ane Doka baMnenA dara mAse eksa-re paDAvavA javAnuM. khATalethI sTrecaramAM (kothaLAne) zarIra upADIne mUke, be jagAe laI jAya. vaLI eksa-re mATe A zarIrane UMcakIne mUke ema zarIrano khela bhajavAto te jotI. DaoNkTara kahe tema karavAnuM hatuM. Ama cAra mAsa sudhI DaoNkTarane saMtoSajanaka sudhAro lAgato na hato. vayane kAraNe sudhAro dhIme thAya te samajAya tevuM hatuM. pUrA be mAsa khAvuM, pIvuM, nahAvuM, kudaratI kramamAM javuM-saghaLuM khATale ja hatuM. be mAsa pachI pagane vaoNkarathI cAlavAnuM AvaDyuM, eTale have khATalethI pATale javAnI chUTa (khurazInI chUTa) maLI. Dokano paTTo cAreka mAsa pachI thoDo nAno karavAmAM Avyo. bIjA be mAsa kecIsathI cAlatAM zIkhI, pUrA cAra mAse lAkaDIthI cAlavAnuM maLyuM. A lakhuM chuM tyAre hajI bAra mAsa thaye traNa page eTale lAkaDI sAthe cAlavAnuM rahyuM che. lAge che ke lAkaDInI mitrAcArI pAke pAye baMdhAyelI raheze. pachI jevA yoga. paTTAnA sakhata baMdhanathI gaLAnI naso paNa dabAI eTale bolavAmAM thoDI takalIpha rahI, kAnanI naso dabAvAthI thoDI dhAkanI asara rahI chatAM zarUAtanA paMdara divasa sAhajika jApa cAlu rahyA hatA. pachI dakSA sAthe pratikramaNa jevAM anuSThAna (pathArImAM sAMbhaLIne) thatAM rahyAM. vaLI manamAM zAstravAMcananI smRti Ave. zarIramAM kaMIka vedanA hatI. zrI gokuLabhAI zAtA pUchavA AvatA tyAre kahetI, "badhA kahe che ke bahenane khUba samatA rahe che, jyAre juo tyAre prasanna mudrAmAM hoya che, kaMI AkuLa thatA nathI. huM gokuLabhAIne mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-13 349

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kahetI A badhuM satya hoya toya huM sAcuM kahuM mAruM mana vedanAmAM joDAI jatuM. vedanAne jANanAro judo che, dehathI judo che - te vicAramAM letI. paNa vAstavika judo paDato nathI tevuM mane lAge che.' zrI gokuLabhAI bhedajJAnanA prAyogika abhyAsavALA che. bImArImAM zarIranI AgatA-svAgatA na kare, paNa jANanAra chuM teno satata abhyAsa kare. te mane samajAvatA. saMsArI jIvone cAritranuM baLa na hoya, eTale niSkapAyabhAvanI dRDhatA nathI hotI ane kaSAyabhAva joDAyelo hoya che, eTale Atmazakti dabAya che. AthI bhedajJAna sadhI upayoga Takato nathI. samatA, prasannatA rahI te bhUmikA pramANe ThIka che paNa jyAM sudhI cAritravairAgyanuM baLa vRddhi na pAme tyAM sudhI bhedajJAna thAya nahi chatAM upayogane AtmabhAva pratye vALavA prayatna karavo. dakSA pUrA traNa-cAra mAsa sudhI rAtridivasa sAthe rahI. te bhaktipradhAna ane satsaMgapremI hovAthI mane ghaNo anukULa sahavAsa maLyo. tyAra pachI huM jAte ja mArI sAdhanA karavA jevI sakSama thaI gaI eTale rojanA pratikramaNAdi krama niyamita thatA gayA. vaLI sAMje be kalAka zAstravAMcana dakSA saMbhaLAvatI. traNa mAsamAM vacanAmRta, samayasArano sAra, paramAtmaprakAza, paMcasUtranAM pravacano jevA graMthonuM adhyayana karyAno avasara maLyo. temAM dakSAne ghaNo lAbha thayo. tenA bhaktirasamAM tattvabodha bhaLyo. koI satsaMgI AvatA hatA. lagabhaga pAMca mAsa pachI paryuSaNano prAraMbha thatAM prabhupUjana, vizeSa anuSThAna, Azika tapa, ane saMvatsarI pratikramaNa (upAzrayamAM) karavAno yoga paNa thayo. divALI pachI asalanI jema rojanA bahenonA svAdhyAya zarU karyA. paganI sAmAnya takalIpha sivAya asalanI jema ArAdhanA thatI rahe che. pU. yazovijayasUrijI kahetA : prabhunI kRpA anugraha ane nigraha be prakAre svIkAravI. zubhanA udayamAM je kaMI ArAdhanA bane te anugraha kapA che jemAM sAdhanA vikasatI jAya che. nigraha eTale azubha karmanA udayamAM nirjarAnA yoga-saMyoga maLyA kare, karma nikharatuM jAya, te nigraha kRpA. mane A bodhanuM ghaNuM baLa maLyuM. mAro azAtAno kaThina udaya hato. saMbhava che ke ATha dasakAmAM AvI bImArI bhogavI nathI. A vibhAga-13 3pa0 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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bImArImAM AMzika AkuLatA chatAM savizeSa samatA rahI te prabhukRpA ja mAnuM chuM. dehAdhyAsa ghaTe tevuM kaMIka ciMtana thatuM hatuM. jo ke mArA parivAranAM atula, ramonA (putra-putravadhU), dakSAe ghaNI sagavaDo UbhI karI hatI. sevAcAkarI prema ane tatparatAthI karatAM. huM hasatA hasatA kahetI ke "mAruM puNya vaparAI jAya che. bahu sagavaDa UbhI nA karo, A dehanI bahu AgatAsvAgatA na karo. A uparAMta anucara vargamAM bAI, rasoIyo, mANaso sau mA samajIne kALajI rAkhatAM. bhojanAdi paNa anukuLa maLI rahetAM. mArI samatAmAM A saunI sahAya kema bhUlAya! amArA DaoNkTaro paNa bahu Adara rAkhatA. maNakAnA DaoNkTara to kahe : tame ekAda pustaka lakho A darada taddana maTI jaze. paganA DaoNkTara kahetA : have ekAda pravAsa amerikAno goThavI do. phijhiyotherepisTa kahe : tame have bahAra jAva, badhI tamArI pravRttio cAlu karI do. have kaMI ciMtAnuM kAraNa nathI. ane meM lagabhaga pUrvanI jema svAdhyAya-lekhana punaH yathAvat cAlu karyA che. zarIramAM have kaMI takalIpha nathI. A bImArImAM amArAM satsaMgI bahenonI manobhAvanA evI ke amArAM bahena jaldI sAjA thaI jAya. roje ja teo AvatAM bhaktipado saMbhaLAvatAM. Ama pUrA divasano sAtvikatAtvika krama cAlu raheto. eTale pachI samaya nakkI karyo ke saue 3 thI 4-30 AvavuM, bhakti karazuM ane dakSAbahena zAstravAcana karaze. haMsAbahena, padmAbahena to lagabhaga roja Ave ane svAdhyAyamAM sAtha ApatAM. samaya nakkI thavAthI nivRtti maLI rahetI. varSothI jenI sAthe satsaMganA, vItarAgavANInA vinimayanuM sAtatya jaLavAyuM che tevA kalyANamitra zrI jyotibahene A divasomAM kobAthI AvI amadAvAda rahIne ghaNo sAtha Apyo. vacanAmRtanA AdhAre tattvadaSTiyukata temano abhyAsa che. teo kahetAM : "ApaNe saue azubhayogamAM ApaNA svAdhyAyanI zIkhano upayoga karavAno che. ApaNI parIkSA AvA samaye thAya che. mahAmunionA upasargAdinuM smaraNa karI dehabhAva chUTe tevuM baLa keLavavAnuM che. teone kaMThe vaselAM ghaNAM vacanAmRtanuM pAna karAvIne AMtarika preraNA ApatAM. A divasomAM parimale satsaMgano khUba lAbha Apyo. meM to varSo pahelAM amerikAmAM tene aMgulinirdeza ja karelo ke tattvano paricaya karavA mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-13 351

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jevo che, teNe to tattvano saMgraha karavA mAMDyo. A divasomAM tattvabodhanI carcAvicAraNA ghaNI vizadatAthI te karato. te kaheto : jIvane je kaMI karavuM che te AtmArthe karavuM che, ane te kyAM levA javAno che. taddana najIka ja te che. tamAre upayogane tyAM vALavAno che. Ama bImArImAM dehAdhyAsa maMda thavAno baLapreraka satsaMga thato rahyo. pU. AtmAnaMdajIthI azAtAmAM samatA mATe prerakabaLano bodha maLyo. A uparAMta zrI nagInabhAI, zrI rAkezabhAI jhaverI paNa zAtA pUchavA AvI gayA, temanA satsaMgano lAbha maLyo. sau AtmapariNatinuM mAhAbhya samajAvatA. vaLI A divasomAM pU. AcAryazrI pradyumnasUrijI be-traNa vAra darzana sAthe bodha ApI gayA. pU. AcAryazrI naravAhanasUrijI mAMgalika saMbhaLAvI gayA. teo kahetA : anuSThAna niSThApUrvaka thAya temAM AnaMda Ave. te anubhUti sudhI laI jaze tyAre dehabhAva ghaTI jaze. vizeSa bodhanI vigata alaga ApI che. pU. bahena mahArAja (pU.A.zrIrAjayazajInAM AjJAvartI) mAMgalika saMbhaLAvI gayAM. teoe prakANyuM ke karmasattA evI baLavAna che ke te vipAka samaye jIvane barAbara zodhI le che. gADImAM tame pAMca hatAM. tamane ja tamArA karma vipAke zodhI lIdhAM. amArA eka sAdhvI mahArAjane ane basane eka iMcanuM aMtara rahyuM. teo bacI gayA. dUrathI jonArane lAgyuM ke zuM thaze ? Ama jagatamAM A taMtra niyamita cAle che. AvA samaye saMyogano sahaja svIkAra ane aMtaramAM samatA e ApaNo dharma. A sarva hakIkata bImArInI bAhyadazA viSenI che. keTalIka aMtaraMga dazA paNa jaNAvI dauM? eka satsaMgI mitre A aMge keTalAka prazna ane sUcana lakhyAM che tethI vaLI A vigata lakhavA prerAI chuM. bImArI eTale zArIrika azAtA, temAM dehAdhyAsa thAya. vaLI ArAdhanAnA baLe bImArI paNa kaMI bodharUpa banI. samatA rahI teTalAM karma khapyAM. koI vAra eka vikalpa UThato ke A paravazatA ja raheze ke khATalo chUTaze ? ke DaoNkTaro to khAtarI ja ApatA, tame to hajI ghaNuM kArya karavAnAM cho. lagabhaga paMdara divasa pachI mane thayuM pathArImAM paDI rahevAnuM che to koI viSayanuM ciMtana, anuprekSA karuM. prAraMbhamAM meM sulatAnA putra viyoganA samayanuM citra manamAM AlekhyuM. pachI sItAjI azokavATikAmAM rAmanA ----- vibhAga-13 upara mArI maMgalayAtrA

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virahamAM kevI rIte samaya pasAra karatAM hatAM. tattvaciMtana, bhakti, rAkSasIo sAthe rAmaguNacarcA karatAM tenuM citra UpasatuM. vaLI vacamAM koI vedanAmAM upayoga joDAto. auSadha upacAramAM samaya jato. sItAjInI azokavATikAmAM dazA kevI haze, teo AMtarika samatAmAM kevI rIte TakatA hatA tenuM vAraMvAra nirIkSaNa karatI. zArIrika vedanAmAM gajasukumAranuM smaraNa karatI. tyAre lAgatuM kyAM teonuM dRDha manobaLa, kyAM mArI nabaLAI ? thoDI vadhu svastha thaI zrI AnaMdaghanajInAM stavanonA artha ciMtana karatI. satata dhArA TakatI na hatI. vacamAM nirarthaka vikalpo UThatA. te upayogamAM jaNAtA. koI vAra zamI jAya, koI vAra pravAha lAMbo cAle, e vikalpo mahadaMze saMskAravaza hatA. kyAMya vedanAnuM lakSya thatuM, vaLI vikalpa UThato ke A akasmAta thavo, mane ja vadhu IjA thavI te kevuM nirmANa haze ? te vikalpo sahaja zamI jatA, koI vAra avalaMbana levuM paDatuM. zarIranI vadhu rAhata thavA mAMDI. eka vAra satsaMgIomAM vAta nIkaLI ke karmanI kevI vicitratA che ! akasmAtamAM sau bacI gayAM. DrAivara sITa sAthe mArA mAthe ArAmathI goThavAI gayo. ane te sadbhAgye taddana rakSita rahyo. bahenane jANe badhAMnuM bheguM AvyuM. A carcA daramyAna mane vikalpa UThayo, mArA karma bhAre azAtAnA haze ? tethI mane ATalI badhI IjA thaI ? bIjA sau sAjAM rahyAM ! e vikalpa lAMbo Takato nahi kAraNa ke e vAta zraddhAmAM hatI ke potAnA pUrvakarma sivAya kazuM nirarthaka AvatuM nathI. moTaramAM Ama to ame pado gAyAM, satsaMga karyo, pachI AcAryazrI naravAhanajIne DIsAmAM vaMdana karavAnAM hatAM. dasa miniTa pachI upAzraya Avaze ema jANI cAre navakAra gaNatAM hatAM. te daramyAna ekAeka be vAhana bhaTakAyAM ane durghaTanA banI. pUrvakarmabaLe huM jhaDapAI gaI. be mAsa thayA pachI dakSA pAse paMcasUtranAM pravacanono svAdhyAya karyo tyAre mane thayuM ke duSkRtagaha karuM, ane e rIte je je doSonI smRti thatI tenI garhA karatI. koIne mArAthI anyAya thayo hoya, gayAM varSomAM kAryavaza rakamanI levaDadevaDamAM koIne manaduHkha thayuM hoya. zArIrika vAsanAo UThI hoya, saMdharSo thayA hoya, nAnI-moTI hiMsA thaI hoya asatyavANIno mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-13 353

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doSa, AraMbha-samAraMbhanA doSa, kyAMya mAyAkapaTanA bhAva. duSkatagartAmAM AvuM smaraNamAM AvatuM. te vAstavamAM khamAvavA mATe jarUrI hatuM paNa ema karatAM mAruM mana glAnithI bharAI gayuM. thoDI thoDI vAre mana khedathI bharAI jAya. joke meM bhava-AlocanA karI lIdhI hatI. paraMtu prasaMgopAtta gaha karatAM A badhuM smaraNamAM AvyuM ke ajJAnavaza jIva kevA pApamAM paDe che. khera ! eka vAra parimala Avyo, meM tene vAta karI, te kahe, "have bhUtakALane yAda karI kALakSepa zA mATe karavo ? thayuM te thayuM. have e doSamAMthI upara UThavAnuM baLavAna sAdhana tattvadRSTi che. tame jANo cho, mATe kheda na karatA. zrImadjIe prakADyuM che ke : "huM dharma pAmyo nathI, dharma kema pAmIza e Adi kheda nahi karatA. vItarAga puruSano dharma je dehAdi saMbaMdhIthI viSAdavRtti dUra karI AtmAasaMga-zuddha, caitanya svarUpa che. evI vRttino nizcaya ane Azraya grahaNa karI te ja vRttinuM baLa rAkhavuM ane maMdavRtti thAya tyAM vItarAga puruSonI dazAnuM smaraNa karavuM. te adbhuta caritra para daSTi prerIne vRttine apramatta karavI e sarvotkRSTa upakAraka tathA kalyANa svarUpa che." A rahasya maLavAthI zAMti thaI. vaLI sukRtya anumodanAno krama lIdho, arihaMtAdinA guNonuM avalaMbana lIdhuM. vaLI mahAtmA, mahAsatI tathA vItarAgI, jJAnIjanonA upakAranI, sukRtanI anumodanA karI ane cAra zaraNAMno svIkAra karI jIva nizcita thayo. dIpakabhAI lakhe ke bImArInA anubhava lakhajo. e paNa lakhyuM. vAstavamAM A maMthanadaSTi nirmaLa banI aMtaraMga jAgRti vadhI. temAM gurukRpAnI preraNAno anubhava thayo. Ama pUrA cha mAsa pachI paganI sAmAnya takalIpha sivAya badhuM yathAvatuM goThavAI gayuM. A lekhana adhUruM hatuM. eTale mArA vyasana pramANe kalama pakaDI ane lekhana zarU karyuM. joke bImArI samaye mArA mananI dazAmAM je caDha-Utara thaI, vikalpo UDyA tyAre lAgeluM ke mArI kahANImAM kaMI viziSTatA nathI. vaLI mArAmAM hajI vikalpono gherAvo che, uccadazA sudhI pahoMcAyuM nathI, tethI have lakhavAnuM nirarthaka che. roto jAya tene duHkhadu samAcAra maLe te samajAya, ahIM juduM ja banyuM jijJAsuo yAda ApatA, tame tamArA anubhavo lakhone ! huM kahetI : meM zarU karyuM che paNa A akasmAta pachI pAchuM mana nabaLuM paDyuM che. tyAM vaLI vibhAga-13 mArI maMgalayAtrA 354

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bIjA mitro Ave ane preraNA Ape, ke lakho. Ama bhAvatuM hatuM ane vaidya kahyuM ke mevA-mIThAI khAjo. aMtaramAM rahelo lakhavAno saMskAra UThyo ane adhUruM lekhana pUruM karavA prerAI chuM. ane karyuM paNa kharuM. purANA ke vartamAnanAM strI caritro-prasaMgo vAMcuM tyAre lAge ke guNothI koI UMcAIe pahoMcAyuM nathI. A badhuM sAmAnya koTinuM che. varanI mA varanA guNa gAya temAM sadbhAvI satsaMgI mitro mArAmAM kaMIka Adara rAkhe eTale prazaMsA kare, tyAre joke huM temanA premano ja svIkAra karatI. temano mArA pratyeno ahobhAva ane mAruM temanA pratyenuM kalyANarUpa vAtsalya evuM AdAnapradAna hatuM. eTale vizeSatA na hovA chatAM paNa A lekhana thaI gayuM. cha mAsa lakhavAno "vA" mulatvI rahyo, paNa vaLI saMskAra Ugyo ne kAma thayuM. A divasomAM sthAyI satsaMgI mitronI aMtarabhAvanA, bhakti vigereno sAtha lAbhadAyI nIvaDyo che. paradezanA mitro tyAM paNa jApabhaktinA avalaMbanathI bahenanI sukhAkArI IcchatA. phonamAM niraMtara kALajI rAkhI phonamAM pRcchA karatA. Ama deza-paradezamAM saunI sabhAvanA ane devagurukRpAe punaH AMtarika khoja ane sAdhanA karavAno vizeSa avakAza A bImArIthI maLyo che tevuM anubhavathI jaNAya che. bImArIe nivRttino samaya paNa Apyo. lagabhaga ATha-nava mahinA nivAse ja sthiratA rAkhavAnI hatI. phakta DaoNkTaranI pAse kyAreka javAnuM rahetuM. nivRttimAM karelI sAdhanAne kAraNe jIvane ghaNI sthiratA, jApano avakAza, ciMtanano abhyAsa karavAno saheje avakAza raheto. yadyapi ghaNA satsaMgIjanono sAtha hato te pUraka hatuM. yadyapi mAruM eTaluM daDha manobaLa na hatuM. je pU. gurudeva kahetA ke sAdhu-sAdhakane nAnAM-moTAM azAtAnA yoga karmanirjarAnuM kAraNa hoI aMtara zaddhinI prakriyA che. mATe deha-bhAvanI gauNatA karI prabhusmaraNamAM manane joDI rAkhavuM. AtmalakSyanI pradhAnatA karI samabhAve rahevuM. AvI garujanonI kRpAthI mArImAM kaMIka samatAthI TakI javAtuM hatuM. amerikAnA satsaMgI mitro Ave, have pahelAM jevI sAjI-naravI jue eTale kahe have cAlo, satsagayAtrA amerikAnI goThavI do. koI mitra kahe tame kaho to levA AvuM. huM kahuM : have kudarate ja nivRtti ApI che to tema ja thavA do, tame mArI maMgalayAtrA vibhAga-13 355

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bhAre lobha Ubho karAvo cho ! ema karo eka vAra AvIne saune maLI jAva, lAbha ApI jAva. zuM kahyuM? pachI zuM banyuM? paradezanI satsagayAtrAnI pUrNAhuti : - jyAre oralAnDo phalorIDAnA saMgha dvArA zrI paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanA mATe AmaMtraNa AvyuM, temAM paNa zrata ArAdhaka zrI caMdrakAMtabhAI dozIe zAstrAbhyAsa mATe bhAvabharyuM AmaMtraNa ApyuM. phonamAM vAta karIne kahe phalAiTamAM pharsTa klAsanI musApharI uparAMta saghaLI vyavasthA saMghanI sAthe rahIne huM javAbadArIthI goThavI daIza. tame jarUrathI Avo. temano abhyAsa mATeno utsAha joI mAruM mana lobhAI gayuM. mane thayuM ke anya satsaMgI mitronuM milana thaze, sva-para ArAdhanA thaze. meM hA pADI. vaLI jayAre zArIrika kaMI paNa takalIpha lAgatI tyAre mana pAchuM paDatuM. tyAM vaLI caMdrakAMtabhAIno phona Ave, mAruM mana taiyAra thAya. mArA kAryakramanA Ayojaka kalpanAbahenane meM vAta karI ke tame isyoransanI tapAsa karajo. kAraNa ke ATalAM varSothI huM te goThavaNa karIne ja jatI hatI. te pravINabhAI vAMkANI saMbhALI letA. kalpanAbahene tapAsa karIne jaNAvyuM ke Inzyoransa maLavAnI saMbhAvanA nathI. AthI meM javAnuM mAMDI vALyuM. te samaye tyAMnA dharmI dIpakabhAI amadAvAda hatA te kahe ke "Avo kaMI vAMdho nahi thAya." meM kahyuM ATalAM varSo huM parivArane kahIne AvatI hatI ke "mane kaMI thAya to tamAre ciMtA karIne doDavuM nahi. tyAM svajana mitrono moTo parivAra che. badhI vidhi patAvaze." paNa tyAre mArA hAthamAM Isyoransa hovAthI anya nizcitatA lAge ke koIne kaMI muzkelI nahi thAya. eTale have mAre jokhama levuM nathI. paradeza javAnI manamAM kaMIka dvidhA to hatI ja AthI have cokkasa nirNaya karI paradezanI musApharIne AbhAra-AnaMda sAthe chellI salAma bharI dIdhI. saune kahyuM ApaNe aMtaranA bhAvathI, patralekhanathI, phonamAM vArtAlApathI maLazuM. have tamAre bhArata AvavAnuM, koI tIrthamAM sAthe rahI ArAdhanA karaze, te rIte maLatA rahIzuM. pachI kSetranuM aMtara gauNa che. joke A krama cAlu ja che. saunuM zreya thAo, AnaMda ho, maMgaLa ho. vibhAga-13. 356 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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1 4 > aMtamaMgala - * guNAnurAgI svajanono Adarabharyo preraka sabhAva * pU. gurujanono amRta bodha - maMgaLabhAvanA * samIkSA maMgala bhAvanAo khamAvuM badhA jIvane Aja prIte, khamo te badhA mujane sarva rIte; evA jIvamAM mitratAne prasAruM, nathI koI sAthe have vera mAra. badhA vizvanuM thAva kalyANa Aje, bano saso pArakA hita kAje? badhA duSaNo savathA nAza pAmo, - jano sarva rIte maMgala mAMhi jIvo.

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paramakRpALu deva ! janma, jarA, maraNAdi sarva duHkhono atyaMta kSaya karanAro evo vItarAga puruSano mULadharma (mArga) Apa zrImade anaMtakRpA karI mane Apyo, te anaMta upakArano pratiupakAra vALavA huM sarvathA asamartha chuM, vaLI Apa zrImatuM. kaMI paNa levAne sarvathA niHspRha cho, jethI huM mana, vacana, kAyAnI ekAgratAthI ApanA caraNAraviMdamAM namaskAra karuM chuM. ApanI parama bhakti ane vItarAga puruSanA mULadharmanI upAsanA mArA hRdayane viSe bhavaparyata akhaMDa jAgRta raho eTaluM mAguM chuM te saphaLa thAo. - zrImad rAjacaMdra

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guNAnurAgI svajanono Adarabharyo preraka sabhAva ratilAla dIpacaMda desAI, amUla sosAyaTI, amadAvAda. zubha paricaya 1984 bahenazrI sunaMdAbahena vohorA amadAvAdamAM garbhazrImaMta jainakuTuMbamAM emano janma thayo hato. jinabhakti ane sAdhusaMtonI sevAo dvArA dharmanA saMskAro yuvAvayathI ja prApta thayA hatAM. vaLI mahAtmA gAMdhIjInA jIvanadarzanano parokSapaNe prabhAva paDayo hovAthI, sAmAjika kalyANanI pravRttio hAtha dharI hatI. sau prathama grAmavistAramAM bALako tathA strI-keLavaNInuM kArya hAtha dharyuM. temAM khAsa karIne tyakatA, vidhavA bahenonA svAvalaMbananuM kAryakSetra paNa vikasAvavAmAM AvyuM. A pravRttione kAyamI svarUpa ApavA 1958mAM amadAvAda jillA samAja kalyANa saMgha'nI sthApanA karI. 1960mAM "apaMga mAnava maMDaLanI sthApanA thaI. temAM garIba, pachAta ane apaMga bALakonA sarvAMgI jIvana vikAsamAM mahatvano phALo Apyo. A uparAMta jIvanavikAsalakSI satsaMga maMDaLo ane zibironuM kArya paNa hAtha dharyuM hatuM. tyArapachI lagabhaga 1980thI temano abhigama mahaddaaMze adhyAtma jIvanalakSI banyo. Ama mAnava kalyaNa, jJAna ane adhyAtmayogano saMgama te temanuM virala vyaktitva che. paraMparAe jainamuniono paricaya thato rahyo. bhArata padmavibhUSaNa prajJAcakSu paMDita zrI sukhalAlajInI niSkAma karmayoganI satata preraNA maLatI rahI. emano paricaya temane paccIsa varSa rahyo. ane temanI pAse vividha zAstrono abhyAsa paNa karyo hato. sva. zrI paMDita pAnAcaMdajI pAse karmagraMthano abhyAsa karyo A ane saMta kedAranAthajI pAse jIvana-vyavahAra zuddhinA pAThonI 0i:40 mArI maMgalayAtrA 3pa9 vibhAga-14

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- uttama keLavaNI lIdhI. zrI vimalAtAI ThakAranA sAnidhyamAM lagabhaga 12 varSa sudhI himAlaya ane Abu jevA pavitra sthAnomAM ekAMta, mauna ane dhyAnanI aMtarmukhI sAdhanA karI. 1979mAM vaDavA ane IDaramAM zrImad rAjacaMdrajInA sAhityano abhyAsa karyo. tyAra pachI kobA gAme pUjya zrI sonejInI preraNAthI sthapAyelo "zrI rAjacaMdra adhyAtma sAdhanA kendramAM lagabhaga pAMca varSa rahyA hatAM. tyAM pUjaya DaoN. sonejInA sahayogathI sva-para zreyanI sAdhanA pravRttino uttama lAbha prApta thayo hato. tathA prathama ja paradezanI satsaMga yAtrA yojAI hatI. A prakAre AcAryazrI, sAdhu, saMto ane pavitra AtmAonA sAnnidhya ane sevAthI temanA jIvanamAM adhyAtmabhAvanA ane tattvaciMtana vRddhi pAmatA rahyA. tenI sAthe sva-paranA zreyarUpa adhyAtma viSayanA pravacano saMtasevAnI kRpArUpe sahajapaNe thatA rahyA. vaLI tAtvika tathA vividha viSayonAM sAhityanuM, pustakonuM sarjana paNa thatuM rahyuM. hAla AcArya zrI bhadraMkarasUrijInA mArgadarzanathI sAdhanA kare che. temanI pAse zAstronI vAMcanA dvArA tattvajijJAsAnI pUrti kare che. sAdhujIvananI bhAvanAne anusarIne gharamAM rahIne paNa lagabhaga nivRta jIvana gALe che. sAdAI saMyamI jIvana temano Adarza che. AthI temanA jIvananI jIvaMta asara temanA paricayamAM AvatAM saune preraka bane che. sva-para zreyanuM temanuM kArya saune preraka che. prabhu temane dIrdhAyu Ape ane zAsanasevA karatA rahe tevI zubhabhAvanA sAthe. lI. ratilAla dIpacaMda desAI amadAvAda-1984 vibhAga-14 360 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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V eka virala vyaktitva - mahendra khaMdhAra, LA bahenazrI sunaMdAbahena vahorA losa enjalisanA zrI mahendra khaMdhAre zrI paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanA samaye Apelo paricaya. 20OO. teo bhAratanA amadAvAda zaheranA vatanI che. temano janma amadAvAdamAM garbhazrImaMta jainakuLamAM thayo hato. jinabhakti ane sAdhusaMtonA sevA paricayathI yuvAvayamAM temane dharmanA saMskAro prApta thayA hatA. vaLI mahAtmA gAMdhIjInA jIvanadarzananI preraNAthI cAlIsa varSa sudhI sAmAjika kalyANanI pravRtti karI. savizeSa grAmavistAramAM bALa ane strI keLavaNanuM kArya ane apaMgonA svAvalaMbananuM kArya karyuM hatuM. tyAra pachI vaLI adhyAtmajIvanano yoga sAMpaDayo temAM AcAryazrI, paMDitavarya jevA mahAnubhavo nA paricayathI adhyAtmajIvanamAM raMgAI gayA. yuvAvayamAM karelA zAstrAbhyAsanI vadhu rUci keLavAtI gaI. vaLI IDara ane kobA jevA AdhyAtmika kSetromAM rahIne mauna ane dhyAnanI ArAdhanA karI. temAM vidyamAna zrI kalApUrNasUrIzvarajInA mArgadarzanathI sAdhanAmAM vizadatA maLI. jIvanamAM dhanyatA anubhavI. vaLI chellA paMdara varSathI AphrikA, laMDana ane amerikA jevA dezomAM jijJAsu mitro dvArA temanI saMbhAvanAone kAraNe satsaMgayAtrAo yojAI. ghaNA jijJAsuoe jIvanamAM dhArmika lAbha prApta karyo. jIvananA AdarzonI bhUmikAnuM nirmANa thayuM. temanuM jIvana ApaNane ghaNuM preraNAdAyI che. potAnA nivAse teo avirata gatie zAstra-vAcanano abhyAsa karAve che. amadAvAda zaheramAM mahilA kSetre koI dhArmika, tAttvika pravacana ke svAdhyAyakAra tarIke niyamita vargo calAvanAra javalle ja baheno hoya che. Aje amadAvAdamAM sosAyaTI vistAramAM 300 jevA baheno A vargono lAbha le che jemanA jIvanamAM viziSTa jAgRtino A anubhava thAya che. huMkara . mArI maMgalayAtrA 361 vibhAga-14

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A kAryo sAthe temanA tapa, dAnanI paNa viziSTatA che. lagabhaga 20 varSathI teo mukhyatve beAsaNA, ekAsaNA, AyaMbIla jevA tapa kare che. niyamita pratikramaNa, sAmAyika, pUjA, navakAramaMtranI avirata sAdhanA karI rahyA che. temanA sAnnidhyamAM mahAvI2nA yuganI zrAvikAnI pratikRti hoya tevo ApaNe AnaMda anubhavIe chIe. gRhastha jIvanamAM parivAranI sAthe rahevA chatAM sAdhu jIvananI chApa ApaNane jovA maLe che. Aje 78 varSanI vaye athAgapaNe paradezamAM AvIne paryuSaNa parvanI ArAdhanA karAve che, ane 15-20 sthaLomAM pravacana Ape che. temanA saMparkamAM AvatAM keTalAMye bhAIbahenonAM jIvana dharmamArge vaLyAM che. saune rocaka tattvajJAna, Avazyaka anuSThAnanuM mArgadarzana, gRhastha jIvanamAM paNa dharmabhAvanAnA vikAsanI preraNA ApI rahyA che. dara varSe dezAvagasika vratakarAve, bAravrata levarAve, nAnA moTA niyamothI saune potAnI sAthe cAlatA kare che. teo pustakomAM ke keseTomAM potAnAM aMgata kaMI ja meLavatA nathI. chatAM bacata rakama hoya to teno kensara sosAyaTI, hospiTalamAM vaiyAvacca ke zikSaNamAM lAbha Ape che. Aja sudhImAM temaNe 45 jevA moTA graMtho ane 15 jevI nAnI pustikAo lakhI che ane 700 jevI keseTo paNa prasAra pAmI che. Ama vividha prakAranI AgavI zailInuM temanuM vyaktitva virala che. saraLatA ane samatA e temanA jIvanano maMtra-prANa che. zrImaMta chatAM sAdAI, AvA niHspRha vyaktino, ApaNane lAbha maLyo che, te ApaNuM sadbhAgya che. vINA to kahe che ke mane to gurU ane mA baMne maLyA che. mAre mATe zItaLa chAyA jevA che. koIe temane pUchyuM 'tamArA jIvanano Avo vividhatAbharyo vikAsa kevI rIte thayo ?' teo TuMko ane mITho javAba Ape che ''devagurU kRpA saMtakRpA, prabhuno anugraha, tamArA saunI sadbhAvanA''. '....emanA anubhavanuM kSetra ghaNuM vizALa che. prabhu temane dIdhAryu Ape sva-para zreyanI pravRtti karatA rahe tevI prabhu pratye prArthanA. sarvatra zAMti vistaro. mahendra khaMdhAra, losa eMjalIsa, amerIkA, vibhAga-14 362 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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che . A rajanI cunIlAla zAha 20, Brentwood Lane Cranbury, NJ 08512 Tel. : 609 - 716 - 0009 vIra saMvata 2532 ne kArataka vadI pa ne somavAra tA. 21mI navembara, 2005 zrI suvidhinAtha prabhu janma-kalyANaka zubha dina. parama zAsana pravacana prabhAvaka pUjaya benazrI, aMtakaraNapUrvaka ane ahobhAvapUrvake mArA praNAma. bahiraMgajIvananA pAtro, saMbaMdho, saMvAdo ane ghaTanAonuM yathArtha mUlyAMkana karI, amArA aMtaraMgajIvanano ane AtmAnA vikAsano vicAra ApazrIe amerikAmAM amArI saunI samakSa aneka varSo sudhI khUba abhUta rIte rajU karyo che. bhavanirveda utpAdaka sAmagrI ane ApazrI jevA pravacana prabhAkara vyAkhyAtA-A banneno subhaga samanvaya amArA saunA puNyodayanuM pratika che, pratiti che. ApazrInA romAMcaka, hRdayasparzI ane mananIya pravacanonA bhAvabharyA zravaNa vaDe ama saunA kalyANanA dvAra ughaDyA che, te cokkasa vAta che. ApazrIe karelI, ane khAsa karIne amerIkAmAM karelI zrutabhakti-pravacana bhaktinI bhUribhUri mArI anumodanA. jainadarzananA badhA ja graMtho-zAstro cAra pAyA upara ja racAyelA che. (1) vairAgya (2) samakti (3) dIkSA ane (4) mokSa. jIvAjIvAdi navatatvone ya TapI jAya tevA tatvo be che. (1) vairAgyatattva ane (2) samAdhitattva game tevA sukhamAM ya alInatA e vairAgyatattva ane game tevA duHkhamAM ya adInatA e samAdhitattva che. jJAnI bhagavaMtoe A be tattvo para ghaNo bhAra mUkyo che. tamAma ArAdhanA karIne, tenI phalazrutisvarUpa, ApaNe A be tattvone ja AtmasAta karavAnA che. vairAgya ane samAdhi pedA na kare evuM navatattvanuM jJAna paNa jJAna nathI; mAtra magajano bojo che. - mArI maMgalayAtrA 363 vibhAga-14

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arihaMta paramAtmA e ja mArA deva, susAdhuo ja mArA gurU ane jinapraNIta hoya e ja sAcuM tattva - A traNe auSadhanuM sevana amane saune, ApazrIe thAkayA vagara niraMtara karAvyuM che. jagatane jovA, jANavA ane paugalika bhAvomAM rahevAne badale sva-AtmAne juo, jANo, mANo ane sva-svarUpamAM rahevAnA prakhara purUSArthI bano evI ApazrInI zikhAmaNa amArA hRdayamAM kotarAI gaI che. ApazrInA upakArano badalo amArAthI vALI. zakAya tema nathI. anArya bhUmi amerIkAnI ane pUjaya upakArI gurUbhagavaMtonI anupasthitivALI bhUmi amerIkAmAM, ApazrInI yogakailAza parathI vahetI jJAnagaMgAe mArA jevA anekanA jIvanapradezane pAvana banAvyo che. ApazrIe aMtarathI asIma kRpAmRta varasAvI, paramArthanI pagadaMDI para pagaraNa maMDAvyAM, saMsArasAgara pAra utaravA amane saMyamanaukA ApI, amArI jIvananaiyAnA ApazrI saphaLa sukAnI banyA cho. ApazrIe uttama zilpI banI mArA jevA aneka AtmAonI jIvanapratimAmAM prANa pUryA che. AvA bhavasinvatAraka, sadaiva upakAraka, niSkAma, karUNAdhAraka ane prazAMtamUrti, amArA parama tAraka pUjya benazrInA padapaMkajamAM bhAvavibhora haiye mArUM sAdara samarpaNa. bhaktiyoganA adhiSThAtA sva. pU.zrI kalApUrNasUrijInA gurUmaMdiramAM Arthika sahayogarUpI apUrva lAbhanI amane taka ApavA badala, huM Apano khUba RNI chuM. ApanuM svAthya sudharatuM jAya tevI amArI zAsanadevane prArthanA. ApazrInA darzananI ane AzIrvAdanI niraMtara huM abhilASA sevuM chuM. mAMgyA vagara maLelo A patra che ne ! bhAI, tame guNAnurAgamAM li. karakasara karatA rahejo javAbamAM sTeja.' rajanInA jaya jinendra. vibhAga-14 364 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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amerIkAnA phalorIDA sTeTanA oralAnDo sITImAM vasatA mULa amadAvAdanA dIpakabhAI ane dharmabahena nikaTanA satsaMgI mitro che. temane tyAM sthiratA hoya tyAre savAre pharatA ke rAtre moDA haLavI vAto thAya temAM mArA jIvananA anubhavo sAMbhaLI kahe tame A badhA anubhavonuM pustaka lakho. Ama prastuta pustakanA lekhananA prathama preraka A daMpati che paraMtu A apragaTa rahasya koI AMtarika baLathI ghaNA mitronAM hRdayataMtra sudhI pahoMcyu. vaLI anya mitro paNa kahevA lAgyA. AthI lakhu vaLI aTakuM tema karatA e saunA prerakabaLathI lakhAyuM te paNa vistArathI banyuM, temAM te saunA tana mana ane dhananI sadbhAvanA che. gurUvAra, mArca 23, 2006 pujya gurUvarya benazrI, "je svarUpa samajayA vinA, pAmyo du:kha anaMta samajAvyuM te pada namu, zrI sadgurU bhagavaMta' zrI Atmasiddhi zAstra parama kRpALu devanA dohA A kAgaLamAM lakhyA che tevA zrI sadgurU bhagavaMta pUjya benane praNAma. sukhanA AbhAsane sukha mAnavAnI bhUla sudhArIne sAcuM sukha batAvavA mATe ApazrIno khUba khUba aMtaHkaraNathI AbhAra. A dohAnI kopI zrI sImaMdharasvAmI bhagavAnanI sAme rAkhI che ane dararoja tenA darzana karatA Apane bhAvathI darzana vaMdana karuM chuM. - ApazrInA svAsthyanA samAcAra jANI AnaMda thayo. zrIsaMghamAM sau ApanA nIrogI svAsthya ane dIrdhAyu mATe prArthanA kare che ane amerIkA AvI saune dharma pratye jAgRta rAkho tevI bhAvanA rAkhe che. ApazrInI 'ATha dAyakA'nI buka saMpurNa thavA AvI che. te jANI khUba AnaMda thayo. te mATe amArA lAyaka sevA Apazo . 18mI me, 2006 mArA pU. pitAzrInI prathama varSanI puNya mArI maMgalayAtrA 365 vibhAga-14

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: tithi Ave che te prasaMge amadAvAda AvavAno plAna karyo che, ane ApazrInA pratyakSa darzana thaze tevA bhAvathI AnaMda thAya che. Aje pharIthI ApazrInI kRpA pU. jinendra varNa-racita zAMtipatha-darzana mAraphata varSA che. pustaka vAMcatA bIjA "sAdhanA khaMDa" nA 26mA ""tapa" prakaraNamAM 176mAM pAnA para "dareka samaye upayoga aMtaraMgamAM DUbakI mArI maMda maMda madhuratAne mANaze." bAhya rIte to Avazyaka kArya thatuM raheze, ane "aMtaramAM te zAMti rasanA AnaMdanuM vadana thatuM raheze." paramAMthI khasI svamAM vasavAno, aMtaraMgamAM DUbakI mAravAno, zAMti rasanA (AtmAnA anubhavanA) AnaMdanuM vedana karavAno sIdho, saraLa ane sacoTa rasto-upAya ApazrIe batAvyo che. ApazrInuM jIvana, niyamitatA, dharma pamADavAnI rUci, dharma sAhitya racanA karavAnI lagana ane A uMmare savAre pAMcathI rAtrInA 11 vAgyA sudhI pravRtti karavAnI zakti, bIjA lokono muMjhavaNanA sacoTa upAya batAvavAnI sujha...va. va...ApazrI zAMtipatha para cAlI rahyA cho te batAve che. amane paNa AvuM jIvana jIvavAnI zakti maLe tevA AzIrvAda ApavA kRpA karazo tevI prArthanA sAthe. lI. dIpakanA vaMdana. dharmInA prabhusmaraNa -- --- - --- ----- ----- --- parama pUjaya bahenazrI, jo Apa mane maLyA na hota to huM kyAM ane kevI hota! enI kalpanA A kalpanA karI zake tema nathI. jaina kuLamAM janmelI huM mAtA-pitAnA vAtsalyathI darzana pUjana jevA saMskAra pAmI hatI. sAdhu saMtono samAgama paNa NR thato. zALA kolejano mAro abhyAsa pUro thayo. sakAraNa mA efl vibhAga-14. 366 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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lagnajIvana hatuM nahi. temAM vaLI sAdhvIjanonA samAgamathI temanI vaiyAvaccanuM kAma karatI ane saMtoSa mAnatI. paraMtu jayAre vhana pAse AvI temanI jJAna ane anubhava sabhara vANI sAMbhaLI tyAre samajAyuM ke mArI pAse suvAsa vagaranuM kusuma hatuM. sAdhujano pAse AmathI tema pharatI. jo ke teo to prazaMsA karatA. tyAre saMtoSa mAnatI ke huM dharma karI rahI chuM. vAtsavamAM te kuLa paraMparAnA saMskAra hatA. ethI huM mAnatI mArI pAse jJAna ane AcaraNa bane che. eTale prathama to bahenanA viSe sAMbhaLatI paNa temanA svAdhyAyamAM jatI nahi. koI akaLa rahasyano ghaTasphoTa thavAno haze ! eka divasa temanA svAdhyAyamAM gaI. temaNe kahyuM prabhue, gurUjanoe ApelA anuSThAna kriyAo kalyANa mATe che. ApaNe keTalA dasakA pUrA karyA? kalyANano anubhava thayo ? prabhu-darzana karyA, vairAgyanosamatAno anubhava thayo? sAmAyika karyA, samabhAvano anubhava thayo ? tapa karyA tRptino anubhava thayo ? ApaNI daSTi aMtara tarapha vaLI ke hajI bahAra chIe ! tattvanA abhyAsa vagara tattvadRSTi vagara AtmAne kayA sAdhanathI oLakhazo? AtmasvarUpanI prApti mATe nIkaLyA cho ke mAthe karmabhAvanA poTalA laIne pharo cho ? puNyayogane dharma mAnIe to te bhrama che. e sAdhanA mATe bAdhaka che. A sAMbhaLyuM ane meM mArA kAryo jene jJAna ane AcaraNa mAnatI hatI tenA para x cokaDI mUkI dIdhI. mArA nayano sajaLa banyA. mAruM hRdaya bhijANuM, vAstavamAM mAre khoTuM bhareluM khAlI karavAnuM hatuM. hajI mArI evI tAkAta keLavAI nathI paraMtu be varSe mane ane saune lAgyuM ke huM badalAI gaI chuM. mArA jIvananuM kharuM ghaDatara zarU thayuM, tema mAnuM chuM., lo mAre lakhavAnuM hatuM bahenazrInuM ane meM citrAmaNa mAruM karyuM. bahenazrInA paricayamAM AvI je anubhavyuM te lakhuM chuM. temanAmAM jJAna ane AcaraNano ghaNo samanvaya che. kevaLa pravacana ja nathI hotuM paNa aMtarano niHspRha strota hoya che. bALaka, yuvAna na O mArI maMgalayAtrA 367 vibhAga-14

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( ke vRddha saune samAdhAna thAya tevI temanI vANImAM vizeSatA che. A saMsAranI samasyAnI Aga laIne gayelI vyakti bAganI beThakano anubhava kare tevuM temanuM vyaktitva che. sukhI gharanA rUDA jIvo temanI pAse AvatA hajAronI rakama mUkIne kahetA Ano sadupayoga karavo che. bahenazrI tarata ja temanI IcchA mujaba saMsthAomAM rakama pahoMcADI detA. ghaNIvAra to lAkhonI rakama hoya paraMtu bIjA divase jUo to enI pAchaLa koI rekhA nahi. saMtoSajanaka vyavasthA thaI jAya. emanuM vyaktitva ja saune samAdhAnakArI che. kauTumbika kAraNa hoya, dhArmika sAdhanA hoya, paramArtha mArga hoya dareka kSetre temanI pratibhA pragaTa thAya che. tene zuM upamA ApuM ? jANe sulasA zrAvikA jevI samyam daSTi ! madanarekhA jevuM sAhasa ? darzana thAya. keTalAka anubhavo to evA thatA ke jo jIvone camatkAramAM rasa hoya to te camatkAra tarIke pragaTa karI de. bahenazrI te vAtone gauNa karI detA. koI vAra tIrthanA ekAMtamAM temanI sAthe dhyAnamAM besatA tyAre apUrva zAMtinuM vedana anubhavAtuM. TUMkamAM mArI vAta kahuM to mArA jIvana ghaDataramAM temaNe je ApyuM che tenuM varNana zuM kahuM ? ane badalo zuM vALuM ? mArI keTalAya varSonI sAdhanAmAM mane kaMI maLyuM nathI teTaluM TUMka samayamAM temanI pAsethI maLyuM. temaNe vadhu lakhavAnI nA pADI che eTale aTakuM chuM. prabhu pAse eTaluM mAgyuM ke bahenazrIne prabhu kRpAe mukti maLo, amane temanI sAthe rAkho. temAM paNa chellI bimArImAM bahenanI AMtarika zaktinA je darzana thayA te to addabhUta ghaTanA hatI. mAre mATe e "gurumAM che, temane caraNe zIza namAvI viramuM chuM. - caraNaraja kalpanA dozI. (amadAvAda) *= vibhAga-14. 368 mArI maMgalayAtrA

Page #394
OM vItarAgAya namaH dharmapremI, vAtsalyavaMta, suzIlavaMta zrI sunaMdAbahena budhavAranA svAdhyAyamAM kaMI bhijAyela hdaya ane bhInI AMkhe prabhunA bodhane yAda karatI vidAya lIdhI. Ape atyaMta saraLa hradayathI vAta sAMbhaLI tethI guNono vikAsa kevo thayo che tenI pUrti maLI. guNonI uMcAInA zabdano prayoga sAMbhaLI e stare pahoMcavAnI khUba abhilASA che. e mATenuM baLa maLatuM rahe che. ATalA prema ane vAtsalyamayI vANIthI saMbodhana karanAra bahu virala jIvo hoya che. ''ApanA mukhethI 'kalyANa mitra' zabdano zravaNano jeTalo upakAra mAnuM teTalo ocho che. e bhAvAnA chevaTa sudhIno mArga batAvaze. kalyANa maitrI e ja che ne ? karavAnuM kArya eTaluM che ke huM AtmA chuM. zarIra nathI, baMnethI jUdo chuM.' Ano vizvAsa, pratIti, zraddhA A kALe jamAvavA jevI che. "zraddhA parama dullahA' cAritryano lathaDyo koIvAra ThekANe Ave paNa zraddhAno lathaDayo anaMtabhava kare. AptapurUSanA eka paNa vacananI pratItirUpa pUrNa zraddhA joIe. gamatuM mAnavuM, anukULa hoya te mAnavuM, sagavaDa hoya tevuM mAnavuM, e vItarAgano mArga nathI. mAthuM ghaDa parathI chUTuM thAya to paNa.....AvI agniparIkSAo thaI to paNa sItAjI sudarzanazeTha sonuM ja rahyA, pittaLa na banyA. AtmAnuM khamIra kayAreya lajavAya nahi. kayAreya nimittothI DaryAM nahi. Dara lAgyo che potAnA kaSAyano, ajJAnano. e mATe vairAgya ane upazamanuM viziSTa baLa joIe. A jagatanuM eka paNa paramANu AkarSI na zake. mamatvamAMthI samatvamAM AvavAnuM che. A pATha dRDha karavAno che. tame vAraMvAra kaho cho guNavikAsathI zuddhi che. evA guNonI uMcAIne AMbavI to jIvana dhanya che. adhyAtma ane siddhAMtano sumeLa karavAno che. ApanA e svaro guMje che. upakAra kayAre vasula thaze te khabara nathI. zAtAmAM hazo. tA. 1-7-06 vAtsalyano satata pravAha vahevaDAvI, jinavANIno mahimA lAvI, vItarAgano bodha Apyo. ravivAra to yAda rahI gayo che. azubhanI sajA bhAre che to zubhanI sajA lAMbI che. baMnethI chuTavAnuM che. A samaja pAkI karavAnI che. lI. jyoti mArI maMgalayAtrA 3 vibhAga-14

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pU. gurujanono amRta bodha-maMgaLabhAvanA moTara akasmAtamAM gaMbhira IjAothI AvelI bimArIazAtAmAM maLelo. AMtarika baLapreraka auSadharUpa amRtabodha, je mArI bhUmikAthI vizeSa prakAre AlekhAyelo che. temAM saunI maMgaLabhAvanA che. ratalAma, caitra vada-4 dharmapremI suzrAvikA sunaMdAbahena yogya dharmalAbha... narama svAsthya vacce ya tame TakAvI rAkhela masta samAdhinA samAcAra sAMbhaLI khUba AnaMda thayo che. bAkI, sattvanA sahAre thatI sAdhanA karatAM ya samajaNanA sahAre TakI rahetI samAdhi, e jIva mATe bahu moTo paDakAra che ane e paDakArane jhIlI levAmAM tame javalaMta saphaLatAne varI rahyA cho e badala tamane khUba khUba dhanyavAda dhaTe che. zubhakAmanA pAThavuM chuM ke taMdurastI, pUrNa dIrghAyu bhogavIne tame khUba suMdara dharmArAdhanA karatA raho. A ja kAma ApaNe sahue jIvanamAM karatA rahevAnuM che. mAMdagImAM paNa tame je prasannatA TakAvI rAkhI che e badala tamane khUba dhanyavAda che. prabhuzAsananI eka mAtra A ja to AjJA che... tamAma prayAsothI azubhanA baMdhathI jAtane bacAvatA jAo. .. dakSAbenane dharmalAbha jaNAvazo. emanI samAdhi sarasa haze... ratnasuMdarasUri suzrAvikA sunaMdAbahena joga dharmalAbha. dAdAnA dhAmamAM ame chIe. tamane ekasIDenTa thayAnA samAcAra jANI ciMtA thaI. have kema che ? sArI tabiyatanA samAcAra Apazo. vaizAkhavada chaThTha sudhI ame ahIM chIe. pachI viramagAma thaI zaMkhezvarajI jeTha sudi-10 AsapAsa; comAsuM zaMkhezvarajI pAse paMcAsaramAM che. deva-gurU kRpAe tamane khUba sArU thAya ane tamArI sva-52 kalyANa kara ArAdhanA cAlu ja rahe evI zubhecchA. vibhAga-14 - jaMbUvijyajInA dharmalAbha caitravadi-7 vIsAnImA bhavana, taLeTI roDa, pAlitANA-364 270. 300 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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caitra vada-2 rAdhanapura vi. kalAprabhasUri taraphathI tattvaciMtaka, tatvarasika suzrAvikA sunaMdAbane joga dharmalAbha. prabhu-kRpAthI ame AnaMdamAM chIe. zaMkhezvara tIrthamAM oLInI ArAdhanA prasaMge rahevAnuM thayuM. ce.suda 12nA divase suzrAvaka zrIyakabhAI araviMdabhAI vaMdanArthe AvyA. prAsaMgika vAto thaI chelle ame kahyuM : ""sunaMdAbenane dharmalAbha kahejo." tyAre temane tamArA ekasITenDanI vAta karI ane amane tamArI vartamAna nAdurasta zArIrika sthitinI mAhitI malI. vItarAga sarvajJa zrI vIraprabhunA karmavijJAna, AtmavijJAnanA tame abhyAsI cho. AvelI takalIpha-vipatti-vyAdhi-vedanA svakRta karmanuM ja phaLa che. emAM samatA bhAva keLavavA sAthe A vyAdhi e bhedajJAnane AtmA dehathI bhinna che, A samajane vadhu puSTa banAvavAnI taka che ema mAnI A takano lAbha uThAvajo. adhyayana zrAvaNa, vAcana, manana ane parizIlana dvArA je tattvajJAna tame bhAvita banAvyuM che. tene sArthaka karavAno samaya karma rAjAe Apyo che. ene vadhAvI ja levAno hoya ne ? . gurUdevazrInA svamukhe tamane tattvajJAna maLyuM che. tamArI upara temanI, aneka upakArI gurUdevonI kupA che prabhunI karUNA dRSTi che. ane aneka tattvajijJAsuonI sabhAvanA tamArI sAthe * zrI arihaMtAdicAranuM zaraNa * duSkRta gartA-sukRta anumodana 0 tatvaciMtana ane AtmadhyAna A badhuM dahanI ucita sAravAra sAthe thatuM rahe ane tamo dravyabhAva nirAmayatA-Arogyane prApta karo eja saddabhAvanA ane prArthanA zAsana devane... ! - lI. kalAprabhasUrijI || hiN RSS mArI maMgalayAtrA 371 vibhAga-14

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- pU. zrI bahena mahArAjasAheba (pU. A. rAjayazasUri samUdAya) bimArI samaye nivAse pagalAM karyA hatA tyAre mAMgalika saMbhaLAvyuM hatuM. tava pAdau mama hRdaye mama hRdayaM tava pAdaye lIna tiSThatu jinendra ! tAvat vAvanuM nirvANa saMprApti avaro na nidi avyo pasaMsi avo na hu kayAvi adhdhA samabhAvo kAyavo bohamsa rahassa Imeva ce-vada-1 namo zIlaprabhAzrI, ziSyAzrI nayaprabhAzrIjInA dharmalAbha AtmAnaMdanI anubhUti karatA. "saha kalevara duHkha ma ciMtayanuM " he zarIra sahana kara ! duHkhano vicAra na kara. A vicAra dhArAmAM traNa-traNa divasa vahI gayA. nirjarA ghaNI manathI tamo karI rahyAM cho. - sunaMdAbena ! nAmane sArthaka A samaye tame karI rahyAM cho. tene kevalajJAnI sivAya koNa kahe ? zAMti-zAtA ane sukhasamAdhimAM- mahAlatA tamane A bAlako zuM lakhe ? tyAM bhAvanA AvatAM-patra thI maLuM chuM. tamArI zAMti apUrva ! manane keLavyuM che tame, jethI ziddha ghA rUjhAze. ane upAyo tevA thaze. "zarira mAdya khalu dharma sAdhanamA e visaro tevuM nathI." dharmI dakSAbena bhaktimAM-tana-mana-dhana-vacana kAme. "mA". mi ke gurU ! ubhayanI sevAmAM kharuM ne ? vibhAga-14 37ra mArI maMgalayAtrA

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tA. 8-pa-06 priya sunaMdAbahena Aje zrI kalyANabhAI pAsethI tamone thayela moTara ekasIDeMTanI vAta jANavA maLI. duHkha thayuM. paNa tamo jIvita ghera pahoMcyA enI khuzI thaI. yogya sAravAra cAlatI haze. AzA karuM chuM ke zastrakriyA karAvavI nahi paDe. svastha citte jIvavAno abhyAsa che eTale tamone joIne svajanone dharapata maLatI haze. - dIdInA snehabhaya vimalaAziSa. VIMALA THAKAR Shiv Kuti, Mount Abu, Rajasthan-307 501. Phone : 02974-238434 Fax : 02974-238596 E-mail : shivkuti @sanchamet.in tA. 16-5-2005 priya sunaMdAbena gaI kAle phona para tamArA svastha AvAjamAM, svastha citte karelI suMdara vAto sAMbhaLIne anahada AnaMda thayo. paraspara sahavAsamAM gALelA samayanA sukhada smaraNo tAjA thayA. bena, tame jinanA ""mULa mAraganA pathika " "bhagavaMta bhajIne bhava anta" sAdhanArA samartha sAdhaka rahyA cho. deza-videzamAM pravAsa karIne aneka bhavya jIvone jaina darzananuM sAra tattva samajAvanArA zikSaka rahyA cho. ! zArIrika vedanAne madhyastha bhAve jIvavAnI-jIravavAnI zakti dharAvo cho ! tamAruM zarIra vedanAmukta thAo evI prabhu pAse prArthanA karIe chIe. je svajano atyAre tamArI sevA suzruSA karI rahyA cho temane mATe tamArUM sAnnidhya ane satsaMga eka aNamola lhAvo gaNAya. - pragADha snehasAthe vimala AziSa. zi Cche mArI maMgalayAtrA For Privateersonal Use Only vibhAga irary.org

Page #399
) vai.va.8 sadguNAnurAgI dharmazraddhALu suzrAvikA sanaMdAbena, dakSAbena tathA gharanA sarve, muMbaI vAlakezvarathI li. naMdIyazAzrI ThA. sarvenA dharmalAbha. tamArA akasmAtanA samAcAra jANI khUba du:kha thayuM. paNa karmasattA pAse ApaNe lAcAra chIe. je AvyuM che te bhogavavAnuM ja che. atyAra sudhI je thIyarI ApaNe zIkhyA hatA tenuM prAyogika svarUpa AvI cUkyuM che. tame to khUba samaju cho. bIjAne samatA apAvavAmAM ghaNA ja nimItta banI rahyA cho te atyAre ApaNane kAma lAgaze. dakSAbenanI tabiyata sArI haze. upacAra cAlu haze. sunaMdAbena ! khAsa yAda rAkhavuM ke karmamAM kAraNatA che. kArakatA nathI. kAraka to AtmA pote ja che. eTale ke A akasmAta e azAtA vedanIya karmanuM bAhya nimitta kAraNa che. ane karmo dravya, kSetra, kALa, bhAva bhavane laIne udayamAM Ave che to Aje A akasmAtanA bAhya nimittane pAmI azAtAvedanIya karmo udayAvalikAmAM AvyA, udayAvalikA e sakala karaNa ayogya che. tene bhogavavuM ja paDe che e vAta sAcI paNa jo vivekathI vicAravAmAM Ave to samajavuM ke jeTaluM sukha bhogavIe teTalI mUDI ochI thAya che ane jeTaluM duHkha bhogavIe chIe to teTaluM devuM cUkavAya che. vaLI A duHkha zarIrane thAya che. huM teno jJAtA chuM paNa bhogavanAra nathI evuM satata vicAravuM. jo ke bhedajJAnanI vAto karavI sahelI che avasare huM paNa TakI na zakuM evI sAdhanA che. AtmAno svabhAva vedanAne jANavAno jJAnadharma che temAM arati karavI e vibhAva che. vaLI vedanAnA anubhava vakhate sAttvika ciMtana karavuM ke meM azAtAvedanIya karma bAMdhyuM tyAre keTalAne du:kha ApyuM che have prabhu ! huM te jIvonI mAphI mAMguM chuM. tame paNa ane mAphI Apo. tame nirjarI jAva. lI. naMdIyazAzrInA dharmalAbha che . vibhAga-14 374 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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1 - samIkSA - 4 ATaluM lakhyA pachI have zuM bAkI rahe ! chatAM kaMIka kahevuM che. vizvanI racanA niyamathI nirbhara che. jIvo potAnAja zubhAzubha bhAva vaDe puNya-pApa upArjana karI sukha duHkha bhogave che. jo A zubhAzubha bhAvathI jIva tattvadaSTi vaDe upara uThe che to sukha duHkha harSa zokanA kaMthI mukta thAya che. mahadaMze saritA taTe paDelo patthara kALakrame ghasArAthI goLAkAra pAme che. tema mAnavajIvana samaviSamanA aneka vahelathI ghaDAya che. temAM paNa je jIvo sAtvikatA ke tAtvikatA sanmukha che, teo mAnavajIvanane sArthaka karI le che. yadyapi A pustaka koI satkathA ke dharmakathA nathI. paraMtu vividha kakSAnA jIvone jANavA jevuM kaMIka emAM maLI raheze. mane lAge che ke prastuta pustakamAM sAMsArika samaviSama prasaMgo, paMDitajano tathA sAdhujanono bodha upakArI thaze. jemAM jIvananI vAstavikatAo AlekhI che. maMgaLayAtrAnA kheDANamAM caDha upara thaI paraMtu te puNyayoge maMgaLayAtrAmAM pUraka thatI gaI. sAgaramAM rahetA jaLajIvo anyonya athaDAya, chatAM potAno mArga kADhI le. sAgarane choDIne kayAM jAya? paraMtu saMsAra sAgara tarI javAno mAnava mATe upAya che, ethI mAnavajIvananI uttamatA che. jJAnIoe saMsArane parvatanI upamA ApI nathI kemake tyAM to kaMIke vizrAma maLe. paNa sAgaramAM paDayA ke vizrAma kevo ? saMsAra sAgara taravAno jIvane jJAna ane paddhatino bodha hovo joIe. saMsAra sAgara pAra karavA bahAra vizeSa kaMI karavAnuM nathI. je kaMI karavAnuM che jIvane aMtaraMgane ujALavAnuM che, tyAMno aMdhakAra dUra karavAno che. tenuM sAdhana svAtmajJAna che. tene pUraka bahAranA sAdhanonI prApti hoya che. te saddagurugame samajAya che. mahAbhAratano eka prasaMga che ke mahAbhAratanuM yuddha anivArya banyuM, tyAra pachI karNane eka svapna Ave che. te jUe che ke pAMDavo dharmavIra che bhagavAnano sathavAro che eTale jIta to pAMDavapakSe thaze. paraMtu e jIta 375 vibhAga-14 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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pachI teNe joyuM ke yuddhiSThira sapheda asthinA DhagalA para besI suvarNapAtramAM dUdha pI rahyA che. A svapnano saMdarbha samajAya tevI vicakSaNatA karNa dharAvato hato. pAMDavonI jIta paNa duHkhadAyaka haze. yuddha virAma thatAM pahelA je saMhAra thayo haze temAMthI nagaramAM yuddhavijetAonuM svAgata karavA saubhAgyavatI strIo nahivat rahI hatI. koI pati viyogI ke putraviyogI hatI. evA rAjyanI jIta paNa jANe hAranI upamA pAme temAM navAI zuM ? pAMDavone jIta pachI paNa saMtApa hato. Ama mAnavajIvana pAmI bahArathI ghaNuM prApta karavuM temAM tRpti che ja nahi kAraNa ke aMtaranA sukhanI tRpti aMtaramAM che. A vAta bhale vilaMbathI samajAya paNa te ja hitakArI che. mAruM bALapaNa kaMIka nidorSatAmAM khAsa vizeSatA vagara gayuM. zizuvaya ramavA, bhaNavAmAM gayuM. 12/13 varSa yuvAnInA sukhabhoga, chalakAtI samRddhi mANavAmAM gayA. gIca jaMgalamAM sUrya kiraNo caLAIne Ave ane prakAza Ape tema sukhabhoganA vilAsI jIvanamAM dharmamArganA anuSThAno kiraNanI jema prakAza ApatA hatA. anyanA duHkhane dUra karavAnA paropakArI bhAvo thatA hatA. te kALalabdhie pragaTa thayA. temAM vaLI muMbaI sthaLAMtara thayuM. muMbaImAM sAMsArika sukhada jIvananuM svapna sevAtuM hatuM tyAM karmanI viSamatAthI vaidhavyarUpa dArUNatAe e svapna ThagAruM nivaDayuM. jIvana ArtadhyAnanA vAvAjhoDAthI gherAI gayuM. ane saMpattinuM sukha ApattirUpe pariNamyuM. AthI A divasomAM zoka saMtApane dUra karavA je je upAyo karyA te vyartha thatA. duHkha garbhita vairAgyathI bhautika sukhanA sAdhano vijaya karyA. lUkhusUku khAvuM, karmagraMthano abhyAsa badhuM ja tyAre mohanIyanA gherAvAmAM vyartha jatuM. bALakonI dazA paNa dInahIna banI. A jakhama uMDo hato rUjhAtA vAra lAgI saMyogavazAt muMbaIthI amadAvAda punaH sthaLAMtara karyuM. teonI anaupasthitimAM ame traNe khUba mUMjhAtA. keTalAka saMgharSo thatA tyAre duHkhano boja vadhI jato, tene AMsuo paNa haLavo karI zakatA nahi samayane AdhIna samI jatuM. vibhAga-14 mArI maMgalayAtrA 376

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yadyapi amadAvAdamAM satsaMgI mitro, pU. paMDitajano sAdhusaMtonA samAgamathI kaMI zAMti maLatI. vaLI sAmAjika sevAthI, dalita vargonI bahenonA vikAsathI, apaMgonI sevAthI mana svasthatA ane saMtoSa anubhavatuM jo ke te uparanI sapATinuM hatuM paNa te samaya mATe te mane lAbhadAyaka ane AnaMdapUrNa hatuM. AthI pelo jakhama maMda gatie rUjhAto gayo. jIvanamAM kaMIka haLavAza thatI thaI. vaLI samaya samayanuM kArya AgaLa cAlatuM hatuM. "tArI maMjhila dUra che keTalI tenuM mane na bhAna che, saMsAra sAgara pAra karavAno e eka ja aramAna che." sAmAjika kAryo vyavasthita thatA gayA. bALakonA lagna Adi kauTumbika kAryo saraLatAthI ukalyA hatA. tyAre lagabhaga cha dasakAnI vaya thaI gaI hatI, tyAre aMtaramAM paDelo pelo saMskAra camakArA mArato tArA AtmakalyANanuM, Atmadarzana, samyagudarzananuM zuM? temAM camatkRtinI jema nigraha ke anugrahathI AgaLano ArAdhanAno mArga maLato gayo. tevA yoga saMyoga maLyA. sAmAjika kSetrothI sahajapaNe mukta thaI. tema anya ArAdhanAnA kSetrothI paNa mukta thaI. nivRtta jIvana mATe Azrama jIvana tarapha prayANa karyuM. tyAM vacamAM paradezanI satsaMgayAtrAnI pravRtti yogano udaya thayo, te sAnaMda saMpanna thato hato. vaLI Azrama jIvanamAM paNa sAdhujanonA bodha, darzananI uNapa lAgI ane tyAMthI mukta thaI Ama AgaLano vikAsa thato rahyo. pAchaLanA je kaMI lAbha thayA temAM e badhu pUraka thatuM gayuM. mAruM mukhya dhyeya jJAnadhyAnanA mArge javAnuM hatuM ane rahyuM che. chatAM e mArge javAmAM prAraMbhamAM sAMsArika paribaLo bhaLyA. samajathI ke aNasamajathI te ukalatA gayA. paraMtu jayAre jIvanamAM tattvabodha pariNAma pAmyo tyAre aMtaramAM ujAsa thayo ke kevo khoTo zrama uThAvyo hato ? bahAramAM kaMI karavAnuM na hatuM. hA paNa tyAre Atmazakti zuM? tenuM kArya zuM! tevo bodha kayAM hato? Aje paNa tenuM uMDANa keTaluM? chatAM dhIrajapUrvaka gItArthajanoe darzAvelA mArga para zraddhAthI TakI javuM teTaluM samajAyuM che. te pramANe yathAzakti udhama cAle che. aMtamAMthI jayAMthI yAtrAno marma pU. AcAryazrI pAsethI pakaDyo mArI maMgalayAtrA 377 vibhAga-14

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hato. tema atamAM paNa tevA ja subhaga yoga maLI gayA. A. bha. vi. kalApUrNasUrijIe pUrNatAnI prAptinI jhalaka ati vizadatAthI darzAvI. adhyAtmayogImAM nitaratuM yogIta mane sparzI gayuM. mAruM mana tyAM vizrAma pAmyuM. AgaLano sanmArga khUllo thavAnI zraddhA daDha thaI. have ja kaMI zeSa karavAnuM rahe che te Atmika purUSArtha. AcAryazrImAM bhaktithI prAMgarelI nirmaLatA, jIvadayAthI aMkti thayelI karUNA, vAtsalyathI pragaTa thayelo temano samabhAva. nirmaLadaSTimAM saumAM siddhAtmAnA darzana. A sarve mane sparzI gayuM ane jIvana dhanya banI gayuM. mane pratIti AvatI gaI ke teozrIe Apelo adhyAtma bodha avazya saphaLatA Apaze, jIvana sArthaka thaze, thaI rahyuM che. have to Atmasanmukha thaI AgaLanA mArge prayANa karavAnuM che. ApaNe sanmArga pAmIe tevI abhyarthanA sAthe viramuM chuM. "svAmI guNa oLakhI svAmIne je bhaje darzana zuddhatA te pAme, jJAna cAritra tapa virya ullAsathI karma jIvI vase mukti dhAme." - zrI devacaMdrajI Iti zIvam (ArI, araja karI vibhAga-14 378 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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AphrikA, laMDana, enTavarpa, amerikA, paradezamAM sva-para zreyarUpa satsagayAtrAnI saphaLatA ane sArthakatAnI citta prasanna mudrA

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jIvanasaMdhyAe varSa-84 saMtakRpAmRta 84nuM cakkara pUru thavAno AMkameLa

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prastuta pustaka saMbaMdhita pAtra paricaya lagabhaga ATha dasakA sudhInI hRdayAMkitanI yAdi hajI vizALa che. gaNyA gaNAya nahi to pachI kAgaLamAM kayAMthI samAya ? RNamukti mATe vizeSa zuM karuM ? saunA sahayoga, upakAra, mArgadarzana, subodha AvA vividha pradAnanuM mArA jIvanamAM bahumUlya che. vAstavamAM kahuM to mArA jIvananA anekavidha vikAsanI kaDIonA sau zilpI che. A paricaya noMdha uparAMta A lekhana zrutamAM anya paricayono ullekha che. te sarvenuM ahobhAvathI avataraNa karyuM che. atre savizeSa jenI nizrA maLI teTaluM ja jaNAvyuM che. keTaluMka pustakamAM avataraNa thayeluM che. paricayanI pUrI yAdi jotAM caturvidha saMghano saheje samanvaya sadhAyo che. arthAta sau temAM samAI jAya tevI jaina saMghanI uttama praNAli che. saunuM Atmaya ho. pArivArika paricaya (Avazyaka saMkSipta) :pitRpakSa nAma saMbaMdha zrI nakaracaMda maganalAla pU. pitAzrI zrI caMpAbahena nakaracaMda pU. mAtuzrI (cAra varSa alpakAlIna chAyA maLI) zrI zAradAbahena nakaracaMda navA mAtuzrI zrI samarathabahena pU. dAdI (nAnI) jeNe janmathI gaLathuthImAM navakAra maMtra Apyo. zrI subhadrAbahena pU. moTA bahena (mA tulya) mAtAnA avasAna pachI vAtsalyathI uchera karyo zvasurapakSa paricaya (Avazyaka saMkSipta) :zrI nemacaMda popaTalAla pU. sasarAjI zrI lakSmIbahena nemacaMda pU. navA sAsujI zrI maMjubahena nemacaMda pU. moTA naNaMda jemaNe sAmAyika jevI dharma kriyAmAM praveza karAvyo zrI zAradAbahena nemacaMda jemaNe gRhavyavahAranuM zikSaNa ApyuM zrI jagatacaMdra nemacaMda sAMsArika sukhada jIvana sAthe sAmAjika sevA tathA dhArmika jIvanamAM sAtha Apyo. mArI maMgalayAtrA 379

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zrI atulakumAra (bhUpendrakumAra) zrI 2monA bahena dakSAbahena sAtvika mitra paricaya (muMbaI) zrI nirmaLAbahena bharatakumAra zrI pannAlAla modI zrI kAMtAbahena sArAbhAI maNiyAra zrI saralAbahena mArkaMDabhAI ThAkora pAramArthika kSetramAM subhagayoga pU. zrI kAnajIsvAmI sonagaDha digaMbara AmnAyanI mahAna vibhUti pU. paramAnaMda kuMvarajI kApaDIyA pU. paM. cImanalAla kAmadAra pU. pAnAcaMdabhAI paMDita saMtazrI kedAranAthajI putra, ghara, vyApAranI saMpUrNa javAbadArI saMbhALI lIdhI putravadhu, mArA nivRtta jIvanamAM sAtha ApI ghara vyavahAra kuzaLatAthI saMbhALI lIdho. putrI, sAthe hatI tyAre gharakAma kuzaLatAthI saMbhALatI. hAla satsaMga svAdhyAya yAtrAmAM kadama milAve che. : muMbaImAM karma graMthanA abhyAsamAM preraka tathA vyavahArika kAryamAM sahayoga, pachI amadAvAdamAM maLyA. muMbaImAM saMta kedAranAthajIno paricaya karAvanAra satsaMgI mitra vyavahArakAryamAM sathavAro sAmAjika sevA kSetre prathama sahayoga ApanAra (muMbaI) :nizcayanaya draSTiyukta prabhAvaka vyAkhAtA samyagdarzananA mAhatmyanA prathama bodhadAtA jaina samAjamAM sudhAraka vAdI ane jaina yuvaka saMghanA agragaNya vaDIla jemanA paricaye ghaNA vidvAnajanono sAtvika yoga maLyo digaMbara AmnAya praNita jaina siddhAMta pravezikAno abhyAsa karAvanAra karmagraMthanA jJAtA, tattvadRSTiyukta adhyayana karAvanAra vyAvahArika jIvanazuddhinA pATha tathA niyamanuM zikSaNa pradAna karyuM. 380 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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pU. A. zrI rajanIzajI mubaMImAM phakata vyAkhyAna paricaya je amadAvAdamAM samIpavartI banyo AMtarika cetanAnI jAgRtinA bodhanI daSTi maLI. prajJAcakSu mahAnavibhUti AkiMcanyapaNe jIvyA ane eja pU. paMDitajI sukhalAlajI zikSaNa ApyuM. jemano paricaya prathama paricaya muMbaImAM thayo pacIsa varSa rahyo. muMbaInI amadAvAda sudhI maulika ciMtana pradhAna vyavahAra tathA nizcayanayanuM pU. paM. zrI pannAlAla gAMdhI samanvayakArI vicAra darzana karAvyuM. sAmAjika sevA kSetrano sAtvika paricaya amadAvAda :zrI puSpAbahena mahetA, amadAvAda. sau prathama sAmAjika sevA kSetre mArgadarzaka. zrI IndumatI cImanalAla zeTha amadAvAda jillA samAja kalyANa saMghanI pravRttimAM vaDIlanI jema haMmezA sahayoga ApanAra. zrI choTAlAla paTela amadAvAda jillAnI grAma vistAranI pravRttimAM vaDIlanI jema ni:spRhabhAve sahayoga ApanAra. amadAvAda satsaMgI mitrono sAtvika paricaya : AnaMda sumaMgala parivAranA traNe svAdhyAyanA maLIne paMcottera uparAMta satsaMgI mitro. atre jenI sAthe nivRttino samaya gALyo che tevA mitronA ullekhamAM sau samAI jaze. zrI vasubahena ane ramaNabhAI zrI IDara tIrthamAM sahaadhyAyI. zrI suzIlAbahena ane kalyANabhAI paMDitajano sAthe tathA pU. dIdInI nizrA ane yAtrAnA satsaMgI. zrI jyotibahena kalyANabhAI zrI IDara tathA amadAvAda maLe samIpavartI kalyANamitra, sahaciMtananA sAthI rahyA che. ci. parimala aMdhAra je amerIkAnI bheTa amadAvAda pahocI te, tattva jijJAsu, satsaMganA sahayogI. mArI maMgalayAtrA 381

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zrI adhyAtmaniSTha zAstrAbhyAsI jemanI nizrAmAM samayasAra jevA zreSTha sAdhaka zrI gokuLabhAI gahanagraMthono abhyAsa thayo. tathA tattvaciMtananA mArgadarzaka. zrI yogezabhAI bhaNazAlI ekAMta sAdhanAnA abhyAsI, temanA anubhavano lAbha maLato. prajJAcakSu pU. zrI moTAbhAI zrI vaDavA zrImad rAjacaMdra (zrI bhogIlAla) khaMbhAta vihArabhavanamAM nivRtti samaye zrI vacanAmRtano svAdhyAya varasItapa karAvI vizadatAthI va. mRno paricaya karAvyo.. zrI gaMgAbahena jhaverI jeo AbunI nivRttinI sAdhanA kALamAM nivAsano sahayoga ApanAra. nizvAyukta pAramArthika paricaya amadAvAda :prajJAcakSu viralavibhUti zAstrabodha tathA ciMtana paddhatinuM padmazrI vibhUSita zikSaNa maLyuM. sAmAjika sevAmAM pU. zrI paMDita sukhalAlajI niSkAmayoganuM mArgadarzana maLyuM. (25 varSa) muMbaI thI amadAvAda. pU. zrI vimalAtAI ThakAra Atma jAgRtinuM zikSaNa, dhyAna-mauna (pU. dIdI) (AbumAM sthiratA) nI ArAdhanA, svazikSaNanA preraka tathA himAcala pradezanI satsaMga yAtrAnA adhiSThAtA 12 thI 13 varSa pU. AdaraNiya zrI AtmAnaMdajI kobA AzramamAM nivRtti kALamAM (zrImad rAjacaMdra sAdhanA kendra kobAnA preraka) jemanI nizrAmAM sAdhanAno uttama yoga maLyo. pU. dAdAzrI sujAnamala jaina jemaNe digaMbarIya samayasAra jevA gahana zAstronuM adhyayana karAvyuM. pU. sAdhvIgaNano bodhadAyaka paricaya :sva. vidUSI pU. sulocanAzrIjI lekhanakAryanAM mArgadarzana pU. sAdhvI zrI nayaprabhAzrIjI maunanI ucca sAdhanAno paricaya pU. vidUSI zrI naMdiyazAzrIjI zrAvikA dharmanuM yogya mArgadarzana tathA dakSAnI viSama paristhitimAM mArgadarzaka (guru) 38ra mArI maMgalayAtrA

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pAramArthika mArge pU. AcArya bhagavaMtonuM kRpAMjana (amadAvAda 1984thI) pU. A. zrI bhadraMkarasUrijI jemanI nizrAmAM svAnubhava yukta zAstrAnusArI samyaktvano bodha prApta thayo. pU. A. zrI caMdrodayasUrijI adhyAtmasAra jevA graMthalekhananA preraka tathA zrAvakadharmanA bodha dAtA. pU. zrI AgamavettA jaMbUvijyajI pramAdarahita prasanna mudrita jIvana upayogI tattva bodha dAyaka pU. A. zrI bhaktayogI yazovijyasUrijI gurumAhatmyathI maLato sanmArga, bhaktithI muktinA sanmArganI zraddhA yukta bodha prApti. pU. A. pradhumnasUrijI prAcIna arvAcIna sAdhu saMto, zrAvaka zrAvikArUpa uttamaratno-pAtronA jIvanaprasaMgo kholIne preraNA pradAtA. sva. pU. A. zrI. bhadraguptasUrijI zreSTha sAhitya sarjaka lekhananA mArgadarzaka : pU. A. zrI ratnasuMdarasUrijI Ama to pravacana prabhAvaka paraMtu darzanArthe javAnuM thatuM tyAre anuprekSA jevA Atmazodhana viSayanuM mArgadarzana maLI rahetuM. pU. A. zrI naravAhanasUrijI navatattva tathA karmaparipAkanA dareka praznanA saMkSipta ane sacoTa samAdhAna maLI rahetuM. pU. AdhyatmayogI A. zrI. vijyakalApUrNasUrijI (pU. gurudeva) aneka vidha vidvAno-saMtonA paricaya pachI mULa strota pratye bhaktimArganI vizeSatAthI sanmArganI tattva dRSTi yukta niHzaMkatAnA dAtA. parokSatAmAM pratyakSatAno bodha : pU. paMnyAsajI bhadraMkaravijayajI jemanA sAhitya zruta vaDe Adhyatma siMcana thayuM. pU. zrImad rAjacaMdrajI jemanA pAdasparza yukta pavitra bhUmimAM sAdhanAno yoga maLyo. vizeSa noMdha : sau prathama dharmamArganA bodhadAtA I.sa. 1936 lagabhaganA tripUTi baMdhumAMthI pU. zrI nyAyavijyajI hatA. tyAra pachI ghaNA samaye te saMskAranA pAyA para pAchI pU. A. pravarazrI dvArA ImArata racAI, mArI maMgalayAtrA 383

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AnaMda sumaMgala parivAra, amerikAnA sahayogathI thayelA satkAryanuM dasa varSIya Ayojana (1995 thI 2005) kArya yogadAna 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. saMsthAnuM nAma mAMDala pAMjarApoLa, pAlItANA 9. tathA bhacAu vigere. sAdhu sAdhvIjanonI bhakti amadAvAda, pAlItANA anyatra jaina zikSaNa saMskRtinuM dhAma sAmAnya kuTuMbone rAhatathI maLatI tamAma sahAya AyaMbila zALA amadAvAda AyaMbila zALA amadAvAda apaMga mAnavamaMDaLa amadAvAda 10. dhArmika pustakonA prakAzana mATe tapovana sAdharmika phaMDa tathA nivAse sAdharmikane sahAya gujarAta kensara sosAyaTI ThAkarasI hospiTala 11. sunAmI anAtha bALako mATe 12. tapovana saMskAra vidyApITha 13. pAlItANA pAraNA bhavana 14. zrI zaMkhezvara zrI. A. vijaya kalApUrNasUrijI smAraka TrasTa bhAvi saMskRta pAThazALA * A satkAryo hajI gatimAna che. jIvadayA vaiyAvacca zikSaNakArya auSadha, anAja, zikSaNa leboreTarI hola adyatana oparezana thiyeTara sAdhu-sAdhvIjanonI bhakti mATe makAna saMskaraNa karmacArI sahAyatA mATe mAdhyamika zALA mATe vikalAMga vidyArthIonA utkarSa mATe 3,00,000 384 1,35,000 6,35,000 2,45,000 2,00,000 3,50,000 50,000 2,11,000 50,000 7,00,000 10,00,000 AcAryazrI likhita 50,000 1,00,000 kampyuTara zikSaNakArya 10,00,000 traNa oraDA mATe 10,00,000 11,11,111 mArI maMgalayAtrA

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parama zrAvikA zrI sunaMdAbahena | bAhya prasiddhimAM na AvanAra vyaktinA paricayamAM AvIe tyAre ApaNe temanA Atarika guNone sparzIne prabhAvita thaIe chIe. AyaMbilakhAtAmAM jayAre huM strI hato tyAre joto ke sunaMdAbahena zA.tithI ane gaMbhIrapaNe AyaMbila karavA AvatA. tyAra pachI temaNe amerIkAnA AnaMdasumaMgala parivAranA sahayogathI saMsthAne sADA traNa lAkhanuM yogadAna ApyuM tyAre mArA puNyodaye mane temano nikaTano paricaya thayo. sapheda vastramAM zobhatA, sadA prasannacittA bahenamAM mane pratibhAsaMpanna vibhUtinA darzana thayA. jema jema huM temanI najIkanA paricayamAM Avyo tema tema temanA bAhya atyaMtara gaNo mane nIrakhavA maLyA. suzrAvikAnA jIvanane yogya zAstrokata bAhya Avazyaka kriyAomAM apramattapaNuM, ane aMtaraMga avasthAmAM kSamA, udAratA, saMyama, samatA jevA guNonuM guMjana jaNAya. temanI zAna dhyAna ane tyAgAdinI dazA to koI jhaverI ja pArakhI zake. temAM mAru paNa. gaju nahi chatAM temaNe mane A kArya mATe yogya mAnyo te mAruM sadbhAgya che. - temanA jIvananA kauTumbika sAmAjika ane dhArmika prasaMgo sAMbhaLuM tyAre mane neka nAmadAra harakuMvara zeThANI yAda Ave. temaNe sthAvara tIrthanI sthApanA karI ane bahena jaMgamatIrtha jevA che tevuM sAmya lAge. | mArI amerIkAnI prathama satsagayAtrAnA praNetA teo che. teo mane dharmaputra mAnI vAtsalyabhAve dhArmika carcA dvArA bhAthuM Ape. teo dharmanA vyavahAra ane nizcaya baMnene rathanA paiDAnI jema dhAraNa karIne paramArtha paMthanI keDIe cAlI rahyA che. A paMtha emano prANa che. teno anubhava temanI kAra akasmAtanI gaMbhIra bimArImAM temanA samatA ane prasannatAthI meM najare nihALyo. ka nivAse, deza ane videzomAM temane AcAryazrInI nizrAmAM anubhavelA tatvajJAnanuM saune pradAna karyuM che, ane jijJAsuone paramArtha paMthanA premI banAvavAmAM temano abhUta ane Atmiya phALo che. mArA to dharmamAtA ane preraNAdAyInI che. temanI zAsana prabhAvanAne punaH praNamuM chuM. teo dIrdhAyuSI rahe, mane ane saune pU. bahenano tAtvika bodha maLato rahe tevI prabhune prArthanA karuM chuM. dharmatatvaciMtaka nautamabhAI vakIla | amadAvAda. Jain Education internauonal