Papane Bandhyu Paniyaru

Author(s): Bhadraguptasuri
Publisher: Mahavir Jain Aradhana Kendra Koba
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/008918/1

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pAMpaNe HiaaN pANiyAruM zrI priyadarzana For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pAzAyAha mahAsatI naSidanAnI sunItaratI kathA... dardabharI vyathA.. ane satya tathA sAnI aganaparIkSA mahAsatI hiMdatAnI AsapAsa vecAyelI A prAcIna vArtA, Aje paNa... AjanA dezakALamAM paNa eTalI ja preraNAdAyI ane Adadha che. hadayadi crone jhaNajhaNAvI denArI A romAMcaka kathA dareka strI-puruSa ghAMcI ja rahI zrI priyadarzana [AcArya zrI vijayabhadraguptasUrIzvarajI ma.] For Private And Personal Use Only

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punaH sAMpAdana jJAnatIrtha - kobA pAMcamI AvRtti vi.saM. 2035, 31 ogasTa 2009 maMgala prasaMga rASTrasaMta zratoddhAraka AcAryadevazrIpadmasAgarasUrijIno 75mo janmadivasa. tithi : bhAdaravA suda-11, tA. 31-8-2009, sAMtAkrujha - muMbaI actha pAkuM pUMThuM : rU. 125.00 kAcu peThuM = rU.50.00 Arthika saujanya zeTha zrI niraMjana narottamabhAInA smaraNArthe ha. zeTha zrI narottamabhAI lAlabhAI parivAra prakAzAka zrI mahAvIra jaina ArAghanA kendra AcArya zrI kailAsasAgarasUri jJAnamaMdira kobA, tA. ji. gAMdhInagara - 382007 phona naM. (079) 23276204, 23276rapara ernail : gyanmandir@kobatirth.org website : www.kobatirth.org mudraka : navaprabhAta prinTarsa, amadAvAda - 98rapapa98855 TAITala DIjhAIna : Arya grAphiksa - 9925801910 For Private And Personal Use Only

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pUjya AcArya bhagavaMta zrI vijayabhadraguptasUrIzvarajI zrAvaNa zuklA 12, vi.saM. 1989 ke dina pudagAma mahesANA (gujarAta) meM maNIbhAI evaM hIrAbahana ke kuladIpaka ke rUpa meM janme mUlacandabhAI, juhI kI kalI kI bhAMti khilatIkhulatI javAnI meM 18 barasa kI umra meM vi.saM. 2007, mahAvada 5 ke dina rANapura (saurASTra) meM AcArya zrImad vijayapremasUrIzvarajI mahArAjA ke karamakamaloM dvArA dIkSita hokara pU. bhuvanabhAnusUrIzvarajI ke ziSya bane. muni zrI bhadraguptavijayajI kI dIkSAjIvana ke prAraMbha kAla se hI adhyayana-adhyApana kI sudIrgha yAtrA prAraMbha ho cukI thI. 45 AgamoM ke saTIka adhyayanoparAMta dArzanika, bhAratIya evaM pAzcAtya tatvajJAna, kAvya-sAhitya vagairaha ke 'milasTona' pAra karatI huI vaha yAtrA sarjanAtmaka kSitija kI tarapha mur3a gaI. 'mahApaMthano yAtrI' se 20 sAla kI umra meM zuru huI lekhanayAtrA aMta samaya taka athaka evaM anavarata calI. taraha-taraha kA maulika sAhitya, tatvajJAna, vivecanA, dIrgha kathAe~, laghu kathAe~, kAvyagIta, patroM ke jariye svaccha va svastha mArgadarzana paraka sAhitya sarjana dvArA unakA jIvana saphara dina-ba-dina bharApUrA banA rahatA thA. premabharA ha~samukha svabhAva, prasanna va mRdu AMtara-bAhya vyaktitva evaM bahujana hitAya bahujana sukhAya pravRttiyA~ unake jIvana ke mahattvapUrNa aMgarUpa thI. saMgha-zAsana vizeSa karake yuvA pIr3hI, taruNa pIr3hI evaM zizu-saMsAra ke jIvana nirmANa kI prakiyA meM unheM rUci thI... aura isI se unheM saMtuSTi milatI thI. pravacana, vArtAlApa, saMskAra zibira, jApa-dhyAna, anuSThAna evaM paramAtma bhakti ke viziSTa AyojanoM ke mAdhyama se unakA sahiSNu vyaktitva bhI utanA hI unnata evaM ujjvala banA rahA. pUjyazrI jAnane yogya vyaktitva va mahasUsa karane yogya astitva se sarAbora the. kolhApura meM tA. 4-5-1987 ke dina gurudeva ne unheM AcArya pada se vibhUSita kiyA. jIvana ke aMta samaya meM lambe arase taka ve aneka vyAdhiyoM kA sAmanA karate hue aura aise meM bhI satata sAhitya sarjana karate hue dinAMka 19-11-1999 ko zyAmala, ahamadAbAda meM kAladharma ko prApta hue. For Private And Personal Use Only

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= = = = = === = = = prAzakIya pUjya AcArya zrI vijayabhadraguptasUrijI mahArAja (zrI priyadarzana) dvArA likhita ane vizvakalyANa prakAzana mahesANAthI prakAzita sAhitya jaina samAjamAM ja nahIM parantu jainetara lokomAM paNa khUba ja utsukatA sAthe vaMcAtuM lokapriya sAhitya che. pUjyazrI 19 navembara 1999nA roja amadAvAdamAM kALadharma pAmyA pachI vizvakalyANa prakAzana TrasTanuM visarjana karI teozrInA prakAzanonuM punaHprakAzana baMdha karavAnA nirNayanI vAta sAMbhaLIne amArA TrasTIone bhAvanA thaI ke pUjya AcAryazrInuM utkRSTa sAhitya janasamudAyane hameMzA maLatuM rahe te mATe kaMIka karavuM joIe e Azaya sAthe vizvakalyANa prakAzananA TrasTamaMDaLane A vAta pUjaya rASTrasaMta AcArya zrI padmasAgarasUrijInI saMmati pUrvaka jaNAvI. baMne pUjya AcAryonI parasparanI maitrI ghaniSTha hatI. aMtima divasomAM divaMgata AcAryazrIe rASTrasaMta AcAryazrIne maLavAnI icchA vyakta karI hatI. pUjyazrIe A kArya mATe vyakti, vyaktitva ane kRtitvanA AdhAre potAnI saMmati prerakabaLa rupe ApI. teozrInA AzIrvAda pAmIne kobAtIrthanA TrasTIoe A kAryane | AgaLa dhapAvavA vizvakalyANa prakAzana TrasTanI pAse prastAva mukyo. vizvakalyANa prakAzana TrasTanA TrasTIoe paNa kobA tIrthanA TrasTIonI divaMgata AcAryazrI priyadarzananA pracAra-prasAranI utkRSTa bhAvanAne dhyAnamAM laI zrI mahAvIra jaina ArAdhanA kendra-kobAtIrthane potAnA TrasTa dvArA prakAzita pustakonA punaHprakAzananA badhAja adhikAro saharSa soMpI dIdhA. te pachI zrI mahAvIra jaina ArAdhanA kendra saMsthAnA zrutasaritA (jaina bukasTola)nA mAdhyamathI zrI priyadarzananA lokapriya pustakonuM vitaraNa jAhera janatAnA hitamAM cAlu karyuM. zrIpriyadarzananA anupalabdha sAhityanA punaHprakAzana karavAnI zRMkhalAmAM prastuta zrI pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM graMthane punaHprakAzita karIne vAcakone upalabdha karAvI rahyA chIe. - zeTha zrI saMvegabhAI lAlabhAInA saujanyathI A prakAzana mATe zeTha zrI niraMjana narottamabhAInA smaraNArthe ha. zeTha zrI narottamabhAI lAlabhAI parivAra taraphathI je udAra Arthika sahayoga prApta thayo che e badala amo samagra zeThazrI narottamabhAI lAlabhAI parivAranA traNI chIe tathA teonI = = = = = - - - - - - - - - For Private And Personal Use Only

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ka hArdika anumodanA karIe chIe. AzA che ke bhaviSyamAM paNa teozrI taraphathI Avo ja udAra sahayoga maLato raheze. A AvRttinuM mUriDIMga karI ApanAra zrI jagadIzabhAI prajApati, zaileSabhAI zAha tathA phAInala mUpha karI ApavAmAM saMsthAnA paMDitavarya zrI manojabhAI jaina, AziSabhAI zAhano tathA A pustakanA suMdara kampojhIMga tathA seTIMga karI ApavA badala saMsthAnA kapyuTara vibhAgamAM kAryarata zrI ketanabhAI zAha, zrI saMjayabhAI gurjara tathA bAlasaMgabhAI ThAkorano ame hRdaya pUrvaka AbhAra mAnIe chIe. Apane amAro namra anurodha che ke tamArA mitro ane svajanomAM A preraNAdAyI sAhityanI prabhAvanA karo. zrutajJAnanA pracAra-prasAra mATe apAyeluM nAnakaDuM yogadAna Apane lAbhadAyaka thaze. punaH prakAzana vakhate graMthakArazrInA Azaya tathA jinAjJA viruddhanI kAMI kSati rahI gaI hoya to micchAmi dukkaDam. sujJone dhyAna AkRSTa karavA vinaMtI. anta, navA kalevara tathA sajjA sAthenuM prastuta pustaka ApanI jIvanayAtrAno mArga prazasta karavAmAM nimitta bane ane viSamatAomAM samarasatAno lAbha karAve evI zubha kAmanAo sAthe... TrasTIgaNa zrI mahAvIra jaina ArAdhanA kendra For Private And Personal Use Only

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( paricaya: A pustakano ) kathA-vArtA e jana-janamAM vyApeluM..... AjathI nahIM... jugajugathI ciraparicita upadeza mATenuM mukhya sAdhana rahyuM che. kahenArane je kahevuM che.... je vastune vistRta rUpe vivecavI che. emAM kathA-vArtA ghaNo ja mahattvano bhAga bhajave che. mahAna jainAcAryothI mAMDIne sAmAnya vaktA lAgatA munio potAnA upadezane kathAo dvArA vadhu sArI rIte janasamAjanA haiye pahoMcADavAmAM sakSama bane che. khuda bhagavAna mahAvIra svAmInAM upadezavacanonI AsapAsa paNa vividha vArtAonI phUlagUMthaNI ApaNane jovA-jANavA maLe che. kathA-vArtA e upadezako mATe bahu ja managamatuM mAdhyama che. judA judA mahApuruSone... judAM judAM vyaktitvane.... judI judI ghaTanAone vaNI letI pAra vagaranI kathAo Aje ApaNane maLe che. ema kahevAya che ke jeTaluM kathAsAhitya jaina paraMparAmAM saMgRhIta che. eTaluM kadAca bIjI koI paraMparAmAM nahIM maLe. A vAta sAcI paNa hoI zake, kAraNa ke upadezapradAna-pravacana-vyAkhyAna e jaina sAdhuo mATe eka bahu mahattvanI javAbadArI che. samAjanA bhinna bhinna staranA lokone emanI yogyatA - emanI kakSA anusAra dharma pamADavo, emane sukha, zAMti ne prasanna jIvananI keDI cIMdhavI e upadeza pAchaLanuM abhipreta hoya che. jIvanamAM sukha-samRddhinAM phUlo khIle e mATe saddaguNonA aMkuro Atma-bhUmimAM phUTavA jarUrI che. ane e saguNonI vizeSatA-vyApakatA varNavavA judAM judAM pAtronI jIvanakathA bahu upayogI banI rahe che. AvAM agaNita pAtrone zabdonI soDamAM saMkoravAno ane akSaronA AbhamAM upasAvavAno prayAsa jaina kavio ane mahAkavio jugajugathI karatA AvyA che. saMskRta-prAkRta ke bIjA bhASAonI vAtane gauNa karIe, to paNa gujarAtI - madhyakAlIna gujarAtI bhASAomAM jaina kavioe, emAMya jaina muni-kavioe je pradAna karyuM che e jo najara-aMdAja karavAmAM AveM to kadAca gujarAtI sAhitya sAva pAMgaLuM ne prANahIna banI jAya. lagabhaga 12mA saikAthI Aja sudhI seMkaDo jaina munioe kAvyo.. rAsAo, bAramAsAo..... phArukAvyo... DhALo - gItikAo. gIto dvArA gurjara sAhityane samRddha karavAmAM potAno amUlya phALo Apyo che. jUnAmAM jUno rAsa paNa eka jaina kavinI (bharatezvara-- bAhubali rAsa : kartA zAlibhadrasUri, samaya : vi. saM. 1241) kAvya pratibhAnI nIpaja che. For Private And Personal Use Only

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prastuta kathAnakanuM RSidattA paNa evuM ja eka paurANika pAtra che. A RSidattAnI AsapAsa atyAra sudhI 28 jeTalI kRtio rAsa ane kathAnaka rUpe gUMthAI gaI che. sahuthI jUnI kRti 1959mAM lakhAyelI che, je khaMbhAtamAM lAlavijayajI nAmanA munivare lakhI che. e hastalikhita prata Aje paNa muMbaInA goDIjInA upAzraya khAtenA hastalikhita bhaMDAramAM upalabdha che. e pachI to ghaNI badhI kRtio lakhAI che. vi. saM. 1943mAM thayelA mahAkavi zrI jayavaMtasUrijIe paNa eka adbhuta rAsamAM A RSidattAnA kathAnakane vaNI lIdhuM che. 41 DhALamAM varNavAyela A rAsa gujarAtI sAhityasAgaranuM eka aNamola motI che. alabatta, judAM judAM kathAnakomAM maLatI RSidattAnI jIvana-sapharamAM ghaTanAo kyAreka judApaNuM paNa jALave che. varNanomAM vibhinna to sahaja che. chatAM paNa RSidattA to badhA ja racanAkAronA mate premanI eka Adarza pratimA jevI strI hatI. prema kevo hoI zake? e jANavA, samajavA RSidattA jevAM pAtro bahu ochAM maLe che. eka bAju strIcaritranI viSamatAno jIvaMta dAkhalo rukmiNI pUruM pADe che. jyAre bIjI bAju RSidattA nArItvanuM namaNuM, sohAmaNuM zAzvat rUpa rajU kare che. joke mane lAge che ke rukmiNInA pAtrane vadhu paDatuM vikRta banAvavAmAM paNa AvyuM hoya... kAraNa ke lagna pachInA samayamAM (RSidarAnA milana pachI) kanakaratha sAtheno eno vyavahAra eka Adarza gRhiNI ane samaju strI tarIkeno ja che. paNa thoDA samaya mATe rukmiNIne khalanAyikAnuM rUpa ApavAmAM AvyuM hoya te sahaja che. e vagara to RSidattAnuM bahumukhI vyaktitva khIlavI ja na zakAya ne? gujarAtI bhASAmAM A pahelAM paNa eka-be navalakathAo RSidattAnI ramya kathA para lakhAI che. chatAMya prastuta pustaka "pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM'mAM phoramatI RSi' adbhuta che... ajIba che ane umadA che. pustakanuM nAma sArthaka che. RSinI jIvana-ghaTanAo jotAM dardano dariyo kahI zakAya evI RSinI AMkho haMmezAM AMsuonA chalachala saravara jevI ja rahI che, vAMcanAra paNa AMsuone AliMgI rahe che. atyAra sudhI RSidattAnI AsapAsa racAyelA graMthomAM RSidattA pote ja chavAyelI rahI che. jyAre A pustakanI racanA kaMIka judI che. AmAM traRSidattAnI sAthe sAthe rAjakumAra kanakarathane paNa chavAvA dIdho che! ane vArtAno prAraMbha paNa jANe kanakaratha potAnA ja moDhe potAnI vAta - potAnA jIvananI ghaTanAonI mulAkAta - ApaNane karato-karAvato hoya evuM lAge che. Ama chatAMye RSidattAnA For Private And Personal Use Only

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vyaktitvane jarIye AMca nathI AvI. lagabhaga bIjA ja prakaraNathI e vAcakanA dilodimAga para chavAvA mAMDe che, balka kyAreka to kanakarathanA vyaktitva karatAMye RSinuM vyaktitva vadhu vistRta ane unnata lAge che. vizeSa karIne enA du:khanA divasomAM rAjakumAra jIvanathI nirAza thaI mRtyunI mAMga bharavA taiyAra thaI jAya che, jyAre bIjI bAju, "RSi eTalI ja svasthatAthI.... sahajatAthI paristhitine svIkArI le che. ene mRtyuno vicAra sarakhoye nathI Avato. A ja enA vyaktitvano vijaya che kanakaratha para! A vArtA vAMcIne jo tamArI AMkho bhInI nA bane, eka UMDo nisAso tamArI bhItaramAMthI nA UThe, to huM kahI zakuM ke tame kyAreya vizuddha premane mANI nahIM zako. jANI nahIM zako. pachI premanI pragADhatAne mANavAnI to vAta ja kyAM rahe? bhUja - snehadIpa tA. 15-10-80 For Private And Personal Use Only

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dharma, kalA tathA zruta-sAdhanAnuM AhlAdaka dhAma zrI mahAvIra jaina ArAdhanA kendra, kobA tIrtha amadAvAda-gAMdhInagara hAIve para AveluM sAbaramatI nadIthI najIka suramya vRkSonI ghaTAothI chavAyeluM kobA tIrtha prAkRtika zAMtipUrNa vAtAvaraNano anubhava karAve che. gacchAdhipati, mahAna jainAcArya zrImad kailAsasAgarasUrIzvarajI ma. sA. nI divya kRpA ane yugadraSTA rASTrasaMta AcArya pravara zrImad padmasAgarasUrIzvarajInA zubhAziSathI zrI mahAvIra jaina ArAdhanA kendranI sthApanA 26 Disembara 1980 nA roja karavAmAM AvI. AcAryazrInI evI IcchA hatI ke ahIM dharma, ArAdhanA tathA jJAna-sAdhanAnI koI ekAda pravRtti ja nahIM, paNa anekavidha jJAna ane dharmapravRttino mahAsaMgama thAya, eTalA mATe AcArya zrI kailAsasAgarasUrIzvarajInI ucca bhAvanArUpa AcArya zrI kailAsasAgarasUri jJAnamaMdiranI sthApanA karavAmAM AvI. zrI mahAvIra jaina ArAdhanA kendra anekavidha pravRttio paikI nIcenI zAkhAomAM satata prayatnothI dharmazAsananI sevAmAM tatpara che. (1) mahAvIrAlaya : hRdayamAM alaukika dharmollAsa jagADanAra parama tIrthaMkara zrI mahAvIrasvAmIno zilpakalAyukta bhavya prAsAda mahAvIrAlaya jovA lAyaka che. pahelA mALe garbhagRhamAM mULanAyaka mahAvIrasvAmI vagere 13 pratimAonA darzana alaga-alaga derIomAM karI zakAya che tathA grAunDa phlora para AdIzvara bhagavAnanI bhavya pratimA, mANibhadravIra tathA bhagavatI padmAvatI sahita pAMca pratimAnA darzana karI zakAya che. tamAma pratimAo eTalI suMdara ane cuMbakIya AkarSaNa dharAve che ke jANe ke sAme darzana karavA beThA ja rahIe! maMdirane paraMparAgata zailIthI zilpAMkanothI rocaka paddhatithI alaMkRta karavAmAM Avela che. jemAM pagathiyAMthI zarU karIne zikharanA guMbaja sudhI tathA raMgamaMDapathI garbhagRhano dareka pradeza jotAM jaina zilpakalA Adhunika yugamAM punaH jIvita thaI hoya tevuM lAge che. daravAjA para kotarAelA bhagavAna mahAvIranA prasaMgomAM 24 yakSa, 24 yakSiNIo, 16 mahAvidyAo,vividha svarUpothI sajja apsarAo, devo, kinnara, pazu-pakSI tathA latAmaMjarI vagere A maMdirane jaina zilpa tathA sthApatyanA kSetramAM eka apratima udAharaNa puruM pADe che. mahAvIrAlayanI khAsa viziSTatA e che ke AcArya zrI kailAsasAgarasUrIzvarajI ma. sA. nA aMtima saMskArano samaya eTale ke dara varSe 22 me nA roja barpore For Private And Personal Use Only

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be vAgye ne sAta miniTe mahAvIrAlayanA zikharamAMthI sUryakiraNa zrI mahAvIrasvAmInA kapALane sUryatilakathI jhagamagAve evI anupama tathA advitIya vyavasthA karavAmAM AvI che. dara varSe A AhlAdaka prasaMganA darzana khUba moTI saMkhyAmAM loko bhAvavibhora banIne darzana kare che. (2) AcArya zrI kailAsasAgarasUri smRti maMdira (gurumaMdira) : pUjya gacchAdhipati AcAryadeva prazAMtamUrti zrImad kailAsasAgarasUrIzvarajInA puNya dehanA aMtima saMskAranA sthaLa upara pUjyazrInI puNyasmRtimAM saMgamaramaranuM nayanaramya kalAtmaka guru maMdira banAvavAmAM AvyuM che. sphaTika ratnothI banAvelAM A maMdiramAM anantalabdhi nidhAna zrI gautamasvAmIjInI manohara mUrti tathA sphaTikamAMthI ja banAvelI caraNa-pAdukA kharekhara darzanIya che! (3) AcArya zrI kailAsasAgarasUri jJAnamaMdira (jJAnatIrtha) : vizvamAM jaina dharma ane bhAratIya saMskRtinA jJAna vArasAnA vizALatama saMgraha dharAvatA adyatana sAdhanothI saMpanna zodha saMsthAnanA rUpe potAnuM nAma jALavI rAkhatuM A jJAnatIrtha zrI mahAvIra jaina ArAdhanA kendranA AtmA svarUpe che A jJAnatIrtha potAnA kAryo dvArA samAjamAM pratiSThita saMsthA tarIke nAma dharAve che. AcArya zrI kailAsasAgarasUri jJAnamaMdiranI aMtargata nIce pramANenA vibhAgo kAryarata che. (a) devagiNi kSamAzramaNa hastaprata bhAMDAgAra (ba) Arya sudharmAsvAmI zrutAgAra (prinTeDa graMthonI lAyabrerI) (ka) AryarakSita zodhasAgara (kampyuTara vibhAga sAthe) (Da) samrATa sammati saMgrahAlaya-A kalApUrNa myujhiyamamAM purAtattvanA adhyetA tathA jijJAsu darzako mATe prAcIna bhAratIya zilpakalAnI paramparAnA gauravazALI darzana ahIM karI zakAya che. pASANa tathA dhAtunI mUrtio, tADapatra tathA kAgaLa para lakhelI sacitra hastaprato, laghucitrapaTa, vijJaptipatro, kASTha tathA hAthIdAMtamAMthI banAvelI prAcIna temaja arvAcIna advitIya kalAkRtio temaja anya prAcIna vastuone khUba ja AkarSaka tathA prabhAvazALI DhaMgathI dhArmika tathA sAMskRtika gauravane anurUpa pradarzita karavAmAM AvI che. (I) zahera zAkhA-pRjya sAdhu-sAdhvIjI bhagavaMto temaja zrAvaka-zrAvikAonA svAdhyAya, ciMtana ane manana mATe jainadharmanI pustako najIkamAM ja maLI rahe te hetuthI jaina loko jyAM vadhu rahe che tevA amadAvAdanA pAlaDI Tolakanagara vistAramAM AcArya zrI kailAsasAgarasUri jJAnamaMdiranI eka zaherazAkhA I. sa. 1999 thI zarU karavAmAM AvI che je Aje caturvidha saMdhanA zrutajJAnanA adhyayana mATe satata sevA ApI rahI che. For Private And Personal Use Only

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(4) ArAdhanA bhavana : ArAdhako ahIM dharmArAdhana karI zake eTalA mATe ArAdhanA bhavananuM nirmANa karavAmAM AvyuM che. kudaratI vAtAvaraNa tathA prakAzamaya be upAzrayomAM muni bhagavaMto nivAsa karIne potAnI saMyama ArAdhanAnI sAthe-sAthe viziSTa jJAnAbhyAsa, dhyAna, svAdhyAya vagereno yoga prApta kare che. (5) dharmazALA : A tIrthamAM AvatAM yAtriko temaja mahemAnone rahevA mATe Adhunika suvidhAothI saMpanna yAtrikabhavana ane atithibhavana banAvavAmAM AvyAM che. dharmazALAmAM vAtAnukUlita (e.sI.) tathA sAmAnya ema badhA maLI 46 rUmonI suvidhA che. (6) bhojanazALA ane alpAhAra gRha : A tIrthamAM padhArelA zrAvako, darzanArthIo, mumukSuo, vidvAno temaja yAtrikone jaina siddhAMtane anurUpa sAtvika bhojana maLI rahe te hetuthI vizALa bhojanazALA ane alpAhAragRha (kenTIna)nI suMdara suvidhA upalabdha che. (7) zrutasaritA: A bukasTolamAM vyAjabI bhAve jaina sAhitya, ArAdhanA sAmagrI, dhArmika upakaraNo jevA ke keseTa, sI.DI. vagere puruM pADavAmAM Ave che. ahIM esa.TI.DI. TelIphonanI paNa suvidhA upalabdha karavAmAM AvI che. prakRtinA khoLe zAMta ane suramya vAtAvaraNamAM A tIrthasthAnano varSa daramyAna hajAro yAtriko lAbha le che. (8) vizvamaitrIdhAma-borI jatIrtha, gAMdhInagara : yoganiSTha AcArya zrImad buddhisAgarasUrIzvarajI mahArAjanI sAdhanAnuM sthaLa borIja tIrthano punaruddhAra parama pUjaya AcAryadeva zrI padmasAgarasUrIzvarajI ma. sA.nI preraNA temaja zubhAziSathI zrI mahAvIra jaina ArAdhanA kendra sAthe saMlagna vizvamaitrI dhAmanA tattAvadhAnamAM prAcIna derAsaranA jIrNoddhAra rUpe navanirmita 108 phUTa UMcA vizALa mahAlayamAM 81.ra5 IMcanA padmAsanastha zrI vardhvamAnasvAmInI pratiSThA karavAmAM AvI che. vartamAna maMdiramAM A sthaLa para jamInamAMthI nIkaLelI bhagavAna mahAvIrasvAmI vagerenI pratimAonI prathama pratiSThA yoganiSTha AcArya zrImad buddhisAgarasUrIzvarajI mahArAja dvArA karavAmAM AvI hatI. navuM maMdira sthApatya temaja zilpa e baMne jovA jevA che. ahIM mahimApura (pazcima baMgALa)mAM jagaDu zeTha zrI mANikacaMdajI dvArA 18mI sadImAM kasoTI paththarathI banAvelAM bhavya ane aitihAsika jinAlayano punaruddhAra karavAmAM Avyo che. hAlamAM tene jainasaMghanI aitihAsika dharohara mAnavAmAM Ave che. nisaMdeha emAM A tIrthanA parisaramAM pUrva ane pazcima bhAratanAM jainazilpano abhUtapUrva saMgama thayelo che. For Private And Personal Use Only

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Song mAruM nAma kanakaratha che. rathamadana nagarano rAjakumAra chuM. pitAnuM nAma che rAjA hemaratha ane mAtAnuM nAma che rANI suyazA. pitAno mArA upara khUba prema che. mAtAnA hetano pAra nathI. mArAM mAtApitAne huM ekanuM eka saMtAna chuM. mArI mAtAe mArA lAlana-pAlanamAM koI ja khAmI rAkhI nathI. mArI mAtAnA mukhe meM ghaNI vAra sAMbhaLyuM che ke "A kanakarathe jyAre mArA peTe Avyo, tyAre meM UgatA sUryane svapnamAM joyo hato, tyArapachI mane hamezAM sArAM sArAM svapna ja Ave che.' A vAta lokonI AgaLa kahetAM mAtA to khuza thatI hatI, mane paNa AnaMda thato hato. eka divasa mAtAe mane kaheluM : "beTA, tane meM mArA stananuM dUdha pAyuM che.... dhAvamAtAnuM dUdha nathI pAyuM... mAruM dUdha dIpAvaje!' ane A sAMbhaLIne huM mAtAnI godamAM ALoTI paDela. mArA hRdayamAM mAtA tarapha khUba prema hato ane Aje paNa che. jyArathI mane mAruM bacapaNa yAda Ave che, dareka prasaMgamAM, dareka ghaTanAmAM mArI mAtAe mAruM kevI kevI rIte saMskAraghaDatara kareluM... mane barAbara yAda che. eNe mArI khAtara enAM potAnAM keTalAM badhAM sukhabhoga tyajI dIdhelAM? mArI pratikSaNa. pratipaLa keTalI badhI kALajI rAkhatI hatI! mArAmAM koI kusaMskAra paDI na jAya, koI kuTeva paDI jAya.... enI keTalI takedArI rAkhatI hatI.....! ghaNI vAra pitAjI mA upara gusse paNa thaI jatA... chatAM mA prasannacitte sahana karatI. pitAjIne paNa mArA upara ghaNo sneha hato. mAtAnI pAse Ave eTale mane upADIne chAtIe lagADe ane snehathI bhIMjavI de! paNa jema jema huM moTo thato gayo, pitAjI mArI sAthe ochuM hasatA, gaMbhIra rahetA. alabatta, mArA zikSaNa aMge pUratuM dhyAna ApatA hatA. mane vyAvahArika ane dhArmika zikSaNa ApavA mATe sArAmAM sArA adhyApako rokavAmAM AvyA hatA. adhyApako paNa kevA sajjana ane premALa hatA! pitAjI paNa For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #14
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pAhiyAruM emane mAna ApatA hatA. mAtA to emane "gurujI' kahIne ja bolAvatI. gurujIe mane pahelo ja pATha kevo sarasa Apelo - "mAtRvo bhava!" mane mitro paNa kevA sArA maLyA hatA! mahAmaMtrIno putra, nagarazeThano putra, senApatino putra ane rAjapurohitano putra. ame pAMca mitro hatA. mAtA mArA mitrone paNa snehathI bolAvatI. amane pAMceyane ghaNI vAra potAnI pAse besADIne sArI sArI vArtAo kahetI. Aje paNa mane e vArtAo ghaNI yAda che. sadAcAra, zUravIratA ane tyAga-balidAnanI e vArtAo amArA mitromAM kevAM kevAM saMvedano pedA karatI hatI! amArA Adarzo enA AdhAre ghaDAtA hatA. amArI kalpanAo enA sahAre racAtI hatI. mAtA to mAtA ja che! tyAre zuM ke Aje zuM, kyAreya meM mAtAne mArA pitAjIno avinaya ke anAdara karatI joI nathI. pitAjI paNa pUrA vivekI! mArA dekhatAM meM kyAreya emane mAtAnI sAthe asabhya vartAva karatAM joyA nathI. A badhI vAto huM vyartha nathI karato. mArA samagra jIvana upara A vAtonI gherI asaro paDelI che. mArA jIvananA taDakA-chAMyaDAmAM A badhI vAtoe mane ghaNI sahAya karI che. Aje huM mArI jIvanakathA kahevA beTho chuM, to mane e badhI vAto kahI devA do. pitAjI pratye huM paNa vadhu ne vadhu maryAdA rAkhato thaI gayo. hA, mane emano bhaya nahoto lAgato, paraMtu huM emanI sAme savAla-javAba karI zakato nahIM. Aje paNa nathI karato. emanA pratye sneha ane Adara hamezAM rahetAM.... basa, eka ja ghaTanA evI banI gaI ke emanA pratyeno mAro sneha ane Adara naSTa thaI gayo hato, te chatAMya maryAdAbhaMga to nahoto ja karyo. e dardabharI ghaTanAne huM bhUlI zakuM ema nathI. paNa eka rAjA tarIke e pagaluM emane bharavuM ja paDe evuM hatuM. nyAya ane karuNA baMne sAthe rahI zakatAM nathI. e pitA hatA tevI rIte rAjA paNa hatA ne! eka rAjakumArane jeTaluM sArAmAM sAruM zikSaNa maLavuM joIe, teTaluM mane zikSaNa maLyuM hatuM. mane yuddhakaLAmAM paNa kuzaLa banAvavAmAM Avyo hato. sArA sArA yoddhAo sAthe meM yuddha karIne mArI yuddhakuzaLatA puravAra karI hatI. rAjanItinuM adhyayana karIne meM "yuvarAja' tarIkenI mArI yogyatA siddha karI hatI. rAjadhAnImAM ja nahIM, samagra rAjyamAM mArI prazaMsA sAMbhaLI mane AnaMda thato hato. For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 3 mArA Adarzo hatA vizALa sAmrAjya, prajAnuM sukha, prajAnI samRddhi, zatruonuM damana ane sadAcAronuM pravartana! alabatta, pitAjI prajAvatsala rAjA tarIke prasiddha hatA. temanA zAsanakALamAM prajAe sukha-samRddhi meLavI hatI. mArA AdarzanA ghaDataramAM pitAjIno phALo nAnosUno na hato. huM ema nahIM kahI zakuM ke huM dhArmika pravRttino rAjakumAra hato! hA, mane paramAtmatattva pratye zraddhA jarUra hatI. RSimuni ane mahAtmAo pratye mArA hRdayamAM Adara hato. dAna-zIla, paramArtha-paropakAra.... vagere mane gamatA dharma hatA. dharmanA nAme thatI prANIhiMsA mane jarAya gamatI na hatI. hiMsaka yajJo upara pitAjIe pratibaMdha mUkI dIdho hato. pitAjIne sarvajJabhASita ahiMsApradhAna dharma khUba gamato hato. mAtAne to vItarAga paramAtmA ja ArAdhya deva hatA. amArA nagaramAM ane rAjyamAM aneka jinamaMdiro hatAM, aneka zivamaMdiro paNa hatAM. prajAjano potAnI icchAnusAra dharma pALI zakatA hatA. pitAjInI rAjasabhAmAM jyAre vidvAnonI carcAsabhAo yojAtI, tyAre huM rAjasabhAmAM avazya jato. mane tattvacarcA sAMbhaLavAmAM khUba AnaMda Avato. pitAjI vidvAnono Adara karatA, moTI bheTo ApatA. AthI pitAjInI anya rAjyomAM paNa khyAti prasarelI. eka divasa rAjasabhAmAM vidvAnonI tattvacarcA jAmI hatI. pitAjI rAjasiMhAsana para ArUDha hatA. huM teonI pAsenA ja siMhAsana para beTho hato. tyAM drArapAle AvIne, pitAjIne namana karI nivedana karyuM : 'mahArAjA, kAverInagarathI rAjadUta AvelA che ane ApanAM darzana karavA cAhe che.' 'emane Adarasahita ahIM laI Avo.' pitAjIe dvArapAlane anujJA ApI. turta ja dvArapAla eka tejasvI rAjadUtane laIne pitAjI samakSa hAjara thayo. AgaMtuka rAjadUte pitAjIne mastake aMjali joDI praNAma karyA, madhura bhASAmAM abhivAdana karyuM ane potAnA AgamananuM prayojana kahevA mAMDyuM : 'he mahArAjA, huM kAverIpati mahArAjA surasuMdarano agatyano saMdeza laIne ApanI sevAmAM upasthita thayo chuM.' 'he rAjadUta, mArA e paramasnehI rAjan kuzaLa che ne?' pitAjIe rAjyanI ane prajAnI kuzaLatA pUchI. 'mahArAjA! amArA rAjA ane amArI prajA kuzaLa che. mahArAjA surasuMdare mane eka viziSTa prayojanathI ahIM mokalyo che, te prayojana Apa zAMta citte For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM sAMbhaLavA kRpA karo." ema prastAvanA karIne rAjadUte mIThI vANIno pravAha vahAvyo. - "amArA mahArAjAne eka ja rAjakumArI che. mahArANI vAsulAe khUba lADakoDathI ene ucherIne moTI karI che. rAjakumArI rukimaNIe yauvananA pagathAre paga dIdhA che. rUparUpanA aMbAra samI rAjakumArIne yogya rAja kumAranI mahArAjAe tapAsa karAvI. aneka rAjakumAronA citrapaTa mahArAjAnI pAse AvavA lAgyA, paraMtu mahArAjAne koI ja rAja kumAra potAnI rAjakumArI mATe yogya na lAgyo... mahArANInI ciMtA vadhatI jatI hatI. eka divasa acAnaka mahArAjA bolI UThyA : "ApaNe bIje kyAMya bhaTakavAnI jarUra nathI. mArA AtmasnehI mahArAjA hemarathano putra kanakaratha ApaNI rukmiNI mATe suyogya vara che. meM e rAja kumArane joyelo che. rUpathI ane guNathI e ajoDa che. mahArANI vAsulA paNa saMmata thaI gayAM.... mAtA-pitAnI pasaMdagI upara rAjakumArIne pUrNa vizvAsa che. mahArAjAe A sevakane ApanI sevAmAM eTalA ja mATe mokalyo che. Apa mahArAjakumAra kanakaratha mATe rukmiNIno svIkAra karo." rAjadUtanI dRSTi vAraMvAra mArA tarapha maMDAtI hatI. e mArA manobhAva mArA mukha upara vAMcavA prayatna karato hato. jyAM rAjadUte potAnuM vaktavya pUruM karyuM, pitAjIe mArI sAme joyuM. huM zaramAI gayo... mAruM mastaka jhUkI gayuM. mArI AMkho jamIna upara jaDAI gaI hatI. pitAjIe dUtane kahyuM : tame rAjyanA atithigRhamAM Aje vizrAma karo. kAle samAcAra maLI jaze.' pitAjIe dUtane vidAya ApI, sabhAnuM visarjana karyuM ane antaHpura tarapha cAlyA gayA. mArI sAthe eka akSaranI paNa vAta na karI! paraMtu eka sUcaka dRSTi jarUra mArA para nAkhI hatI. huM samajI gayo ke pitAjI mArI mAtA sAthe A viSayamAM vicAraNA karIne nirNaya karaze. mAruM mana bolI UDyuM : "mArA pitAjI ane mAtA je nirNaya kare te yogya ja karaze. huM emano nirNaya svIkArI laIza.' sadaiva mArA sukhano ja vicAra karanArAM mAtA-pitA mATe mane bIjo koI vicAra ja kema Ave? joke A ghaTanA banI, e pUrve mane kyAreya lagna aMgeno vicAra Avelo. ja nahIM! tamane Azcarya thaze! "yuvAna puruSane lagnano vicAra na Ave tevuM bane kharuM?" hA, mArA jIvanamAM evuM banI gayuM che! eTaluM ja nahIM, tyAM sudhI koI paNa rUpavatI kanyAne joIne enA pratye anurAga paNa mane thayo nathI! For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #17
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM romAMca paNa thayo nathI....! ethI paNa AgaLa vadhIne kahuM? jyAre mAtAnI sAthe vicAraNA karIne pitAjIe mane temanI pAse bolAvIne kahyuM : "kanakaratha, tAre rukimaNI sAthe lagna karavAnAM che. te mATe tAre kAverI javAnuM che." meM mauna rahIne anumati pragaTa karI. paraMtu e vAta sAMbhaLIne mane koI harSa na thaya! lagnanI vAtoe mane pulakita na karyo... hA, meM kAverI javAnI taiyArIo zarU karI dIdhI. mAtAnA harSanuM to pUchavuM ja zuM! rAjamahelamAM ane rAjadhAnImAM vAyuvege A samAcAra prasarI gayA. sarvatra utsavanuM vAtAvaraNa jAmI gayuM. sahu loko mArI sAme hasI hasIne jovA lAgyA... huM sAMbhaLuM e rIte miNInA rUpanI prazaMsA karavA lAgyA....! pitAjIe mitra rAjAone ane snehI-svajanone A samAcAra ApavA rAjapuruSone ravAnA karI dIdhA, kAverInarezanA rAjadUtane suvahAranI bheTa ApI ravAnA karI dIdho. rAjadUta khUba ja prasanna citte vidAya thayo. lagnanI jAna mATe bhavya taiyArIo thavA lAgI. mArA mitra rAjakumAro potapotAnA rathomAM ArUDha thaIne AvI gayA. vizALa senA paNa taiyAra thaI gaI. vividha vAjiMtrothI nagara raNajhaNI UDyuM. hastIsenA, azvasenA ane pAyadaLa taiyAra thaI gayAM hatAM, mitroe mane zaNagAravA mAMDyo. mAruM mana prasanna karavA sau koI tatpara hatA. huM paNa hasato hato... dareka pravRttimAM rasa leto hato. mitronI sAthe mastI paNa karato hato... chatAM, eka vAta kahI dauM? mArA aMtaHkaraNamAM harSanI helI caDhatI na hatI.. bhavya dabadabA sAthe, zubha muhUrte meM kAverI tarapha prayANa karI dIdhuM. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #18
uttara dizAmAM amAruM prayANa anavarata cAlI rahyuM hatuM. prakRtie zaNagAra sajyA hatA. dizAo ujvala vastromAM zobhI rahI hatI. maMda maMda samIra ane madhura madhura puSparAganI suvAsa amArAM tana-manane bharI rahyA hatA. vanavAsI pazuo dUra dUra doDI jaIne amArA kAphalA sAme Tagara Tagara jotAM hatAM.... vihaMgo gaganamAM mukta mane UDI rahyAM hatAM. eka prahara vItI gayo hato. paDAva mATe yogya medAna maLI jatAM ame amAro pahelo paDAva nAMkhyo. vizALa chAvaNI UbhI thaI gaI. mitra rAjakumAronI sAthe huM AsapAsanA pradezamAM nIkaLI paDyo. Ameya mane nisarganuM sauMdarya khUba gamatuM. e pradeza vanarAjIno pradeza hato. amArA rAjyanI sImAno pradeza hato, chatAM huM kyAreya A pradezamAM Avelo na hato. meM mArA mitrone kahyuM : A kevo sohAmaNo pradeza che!" kanaka, AnAthI paNa vadhu sohAmaNo pradeza to haju AgaLa Avaze. kAverInA mArge ApaNe bharapUra sauMdaryapAna karIzuM!' Ameya ApaNo madhyapradeza nadIo, sarovaro ane bAga-bagIcAono pradeza ja che ne!" kumAra, ahIMthI ApaNe dasa kosa AgaLa vadhIzuM, eTale eka aTavI Avaze. e aTavIno pradeza aridamana rAjAno che." ema? aridamana rAjAnA pradezamAMthI pasAra thavAnuM che? e amArI sAthe niSThayojana zatrutA dharAve che!" aridamana rAjA sAthenA amArA bagaDelA saMbaMdho aMge meM mitrone vAta karI. bhojanano samaya thatAM ame amArA paDAvamAM pahoMcyA. sAthe besIne ame bhojana karyuM. vizrAma karIne namatA pahore AgaLa prayANa karavAno Adeza Apyo. ame AgaLa cAlyA. haju aTavI zarU nahotI thaI. sUryAsta thaI jatAM ame aTavInA nAke ja vizALa medAnamAM paDAva nAMkhavAno nirNaya karyo. thoDAka ja samayamAM eka nAnakaDuM nagara vasI gayuM. cAre bAju mazAlo peTAvavAmAM AvI. sainikoe surakSAno pAko prabaMdha karI dIdho. For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM amArI rAta khUba ArAmathI vItI. vahelI savAre ame prayANa AraMbhI dIdhuM. aTavImAMthI ame pasAra thavA lAgyA. be praharamAM to ame aTavI pasAra karIne amAro paDAva nAMkhyo. sahu loko potapotAnAM dainika-prabhAtika kAryomAM vyasta hatA. huM nAnAdi ane dugdhapAnAdithI nivRtta thaI eka suMdara azokavRkSanI chAyAmAM siMhAsana upara beTho beTho, bhAvi jIvananA vicAromAM khovAyo hato. bhUtakALanI smRtio vAgoLavAnI jema manuSyane Teva hoya che, tema bhaviSyanAM sapanAMomAM UDavAnuM paNa mAnavIne gamatuM hoya che! huM evAM ja sapanAMomAM UDI rahyo hato. tyAM mArA pratihArIe AvIne mane kahyuM : mahArAja kumAra, eka rAjadUta ApanAM darzana cAhe che." AvavA do ene.' pratihArIne vidAya karyo ane "jaMgalamAM koNa rAjadUta Avyo haze?' e vicAramAM paDyo. thoDI ja kSaNomAM rAjadUta AvIne, praNAma ke namanano ziSTAcAra bhUlIne bolavA mAMDyo : 'rAja kumAra, huM mahArAjA aridamanano dUta chuM. mahArAjAe tamane kahevaDAvyuM che ke "amArA pradezamAM pravezIne te kumAra, te motane notaryuM che. jo tAre yuddha karavuM hoya to taiyAra thaI jA, nahIMtara ahIMthI ja pAcho phara. jo pAcho cAlyo jaIza to huM tane jIvato javA daIza... A saMdezo mahArAjA aridamananI che." huM to dUtano saMdezo sAMbhaLIne stabdha thaI gayo! mArAM tana-mana roSathI saLagI UThyAM. huM siMhAsana uparathI Ubho thaI gayo. dUtane Aga okatI bhASAmAM javAba Apyo : re dUta, tuM ahIMthI cAlyo jA jaladI. tArA e kulAMgAra rAjAne kaheje ke rAjakumAra tAro vadha karavA mATe ja Avyo che! huM to yuddhapriya chuM.. yuddha mATe sajja thaIne ja beTho chuM... jA, tuM tArA rAjAne kahe ke e mArA zaraNe AvI jAya....' dUta tyAMthI cAlyo gayo. meM turta ja mitra rAjakumArone bolAvyA. senApatine bolAvyo. dUte ApelA aridamananA saMdezAnI vAta karI. mitro bolI UThyA: amArI A dhAraNA hatI ja, ame tArI sAthe taiyAra ja chIe.' senApatie kahyuM : "mahArAja kumAra, ApaNI pAse pUratI senA che. mahArAjAne paNa upadravanI AzaMkA hatI ja, eTale cunaMdI senA ApanI sAthe mokalI che. ame taiyAra ja chIe. huM jaIne senAne yuddha mATe taiyAra thaI javA AjJA ApuM chuM.' For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #20
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM meM vilaMba karyA vinA kavaca dhAraNa karI lIdhuM ane zastro sajI lIdhAM. mitro paNa zastrasajja banI AvI gayA. mArI dhAraNA hatI ke aridamana potAnI senA sAthe najIkanA ja pradezamAM hovo joIe. eTalAmAM dUrathI dhULanI DamarIo AkAzamAM caDhatI joI. vizALa senA sAthe te AvI rahyo hato. meM turta ja azvane palANyo ane azvArUDha banI e dizAmAM prayANa karyuM. baMne sainyo bhaTakAyAM. khUnakhAra jaMga jAmyo. jANe bhAvatuM bhojana maLyuM! be hAthamAM karALa kALa jevI talavAro ghumAvato huM aridamananI najIka jaI rahyo hato. mArA sainiko pUrA jhanUnathI zatrusenAne kApI rahyA hatA. huM aridamananI najIka pahoMcI gayo. meM aridamanane paDakAryo. re kAyara, huM kanakaratha tArI sAme chuM. Ava; mArI sAthe yuddha kara." e mArI tarapha dhase e pahelAM to chalAMga mArI huM enA upara tUTI paDyo. meM ene jIvato pakaDI lIdho. enA sainiko bhAgavA mAMDyA. mArI senAe emano pIcho pakaDyo. mitra rAja kumAroe aridamanane lAkaDAnA pAMjarAmAM baMdha karI dIdho. meM mitrone pUchyuM : "AnuM zuM karIzuM?' hamaNAM to ApaNI sAthe ja laI cAlo! AgaLa jaIne vicArIzuM." amAruM prayANa kAverI tarapha AgaLa vadhyuM. thoDAka divaso pachI mane e aridamana rAjA pratye dayA AvI. meM ene mukta karI dIdho. ene kahyuM : jAo tamArA nagaramAM ane khuzIthI tamAruM rAjya karo." paraMtu aridamananA mukha upara koI AnaMda na varatAyo. e gaMbhIra ane prazAMta hato. e koI gahana vicAramAM DUbI gayelo hato. meM ene pharIthI kahyuM : tame have mukta cho.... jyAM javuM hoya tyAM jaI zako cho.' teNe mArI sAme joyuM. tenI dRSTimAM vedhakatA hatI. rAjakamArA tame mane tamArA baMdhanamAMthI mukta karo cho, e tamArI udAratA che. huM tamArI kadara karuM chuM, paraMtu zuM ApaNe kharekhara mukta chIe?' "eTale?' mane enI vAtamAM rasa paDyo, paraMtu vAta samajANI nahIM. eTale kumAra, ApaNe mukta nathI! ApaNA upara.... ApaNA AtmA upara janamajanamanAM anaMta karmonAM baMdhana che! ApaNe baMdhAyelA chIe. parAdhIna chIe. eTale have mAre rAjya nathI joItuM. sukhavaibhava nathI joItAM... saMsAranAM sarva sukho mAtra mRgajaLa che... mAtra indrajALa che... e mRgajaLanI pAchaLa doDavAmAM jiMdagI gumAvI dIdhI..." For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM aridamana! adbhuta parivartana! thoDA ja divaso pUrvano aridamana kyAM ane Ajano aridamana kyAM! kyAM e lohI-tarasyo rAjavI! ane kyAM Ajano A zAMta-prazAMta ane dhIragaMbhIra rAjavI! meM aridamanane mArI sAmenA siMhAsana upara besavA vinaMtI karI. te beTho ane anaMta AkAza tarapha animeSa nayane joto rahyo. meM kahyuM : rAjanuM, mArA taraphathI tamane ghaNuM du:kha paDyuM..." nA re nA, narakanAM duHkho A jIve kyAM nathI bhogavyAM! tamane huM duHkhI karavA Avyo hato, tame mane duHkhI karavA nahotA AvyA. tame to zatru pratye paNa saujanya dAkhavyuM che." 'have tamArA mATe zuM karuM?' meM pUchyuM. have tamAre mArA mATe kaMI karavAnuM rahetuM nathI. mAre ja mArA mATe kaMIka karavAnuM che!" zuM karavA dhAra cho tame?" have huM samagra saMsArano tyAga karIza. saMsAranA sukhono tyAga karIza... AtmakalyANanI sAdhanAmAM lIna banIza." eTale?' huM coMkI UThyo. jijJAsAthI puchAI gayuM. huM paramAtmA naminAthanAM caraNomAM jIvana samarpita karIza. karmonAM baMdhano toDavAno dharakhama puruSArtha karIza." aridamana kharekhara aMtaranA arionuM damana karavA kaTibaddha thaI gayA. huM siMhAsana uparathI Ubho thaI gayo. emanAM caraNomAM meM mAruM mastaka mUkI dIdhuM. temaNe mane Ubho karyo ane potAnI chAtIe lagADyo, kSamAyAcanA karI ane teo tyAMthI cAlI nIkaLyA. huM.... ame emanI pAchaLa pAchaLa cAlyA. thoDe dUra gayA ane temaNe amane rokI dIdhA. ame UbhA rahI gayA. ne teo cAlyA gayA. AmUla parivartanA yuddhamAM thayelA parAjaye emanI jJAnadRSTine kholI nAMkhI hatI. e emano duHkhagarbhita vairAgya nahoto. duHkhagarbhita vairAgya to sukha maLatAM varALa thaIne UDI jAya. aridamanane meM emanuM rAjya pAchuM ApyuM hatuM. emane emanAM sukha pAchAM maLI gayAM hatAM. paNa emaNe na svIkAryA.... meM pAchaLathI sAMbhaLyuM hatuM ke teo tyAMthI sIdhA paramAtmA naminAthanAM caraNomAM ja pahoMcI gayA hatA. potAnI rAjadhAnImAM paNa gayA na hatA. For Private And Personal Use Only

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10 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM paramAtmAnAM caraNomAM jIvana samarpita karI tapa-tyAga ane jJAna-dhyAnamAM lIna banI temaNe sarve karmono kSaya karyo hato ane nirvANa pAmyA hatA. ame tyAMthI prayANa karyuM.... paraMtu hRdaya bhAre thaI gayuM hatuM. aridamana pratye hRdaya sahAnubhUtithI gadgad thaI gayuM hatuM. aridamane lIdhelo nirNaya sAro hato, ema to samajAyuM hatuM, paraMtu e sAdhu na banI jAya.... rAjya bhogave.... evuM mana bolI rahyuM hatuM.... kAraNa ke emanA pratye sneha thaI gayo hato ne! e sneha thavAnuM kAraNa pAchuM e ja hatuM.... emano sarvatyAgano nirNaya! yuddha to vIsarAI gayuM.... zatrutA to kyAMya cAlI gaI... uparathI pramodabhAva UbharAvA lAgyo. amArA ratha jaMgalanA mArge doDI rahyA hatA.... mAruM mana aridamananI pAchaLa doDI rahyuM hatuM. e ghaTanAnI mArA mana upara gherI asara thaI hatI. Ameya mAruM hRdaya bhAvuka hatuM. mane AvI karuNa ghaTanAonI asara jaladI thaI jatI. ame eka evA vanapradezamAM praveza karyo ke je vanapradeza atyaMta ramaNIya hato, sahunI icchA e pradezamAM vizrAma karavAnI thaI. sahu thAkyA paNa hatA. ame tyAM divasa ane rAta vyatIta karAvAnA irAdAthI paDAva nAkhyo. vanapradeza nagarapradeza jevo banI gayo. paDAva to nAMkhI dIdho, paraMtu tyAM pANI na hatuM! pANInI tapAsa karavA keTalAka puruSo e pradezanA aMdaranA bhAgamAM gayA. amArI pAse je pANI hatuM tenAthI madhyAhnanuM bhojana thaI gayuM.... paraMtu pANI zodhavA gayelA puruSo pAchA na AvyA! mane ciMtA thaI. trIjo prahara pUro thayo ane cotho prahara zarU thaI gayo... huM ghoDesavArone e puruSonI zodha karI lAvavA ravAnA karato hato, tyAM ja pelA puruSo pANI laIne AvatA dekhAyA. jyAre teo mArI pAse AvyA. meM roSathI temane pUchyuM : 'tame kyAM gayA hatA? tamane pANI levA mokalyA hatA ke sahela karavA? sAcuM kaho, tame kyAM gayA hatA ane ATalo samaya kema lAgyo?' te puruSoe svasthatAthI mane pratyuttara Apyo : "he mahArAja kumAra, ahIMthI pUrva dizAmAM ame gayA. eka udyAna jevA pradezamAM ame pahoMcyA. tyAM nirmaLa jalathI chalochala bharelA sarovarane joyuM, ame rAjI thayA. ame e vanapradezanuM sauMdarya jatA hatA tyAM eka bAju thoDe dUra jhUlA upara beThelI eka suMdara kanyAne joI.... ame jotA ja rahI gayA... zuM For Private And Personal Use Only

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11 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM e vanadevI haze ke svarganI apsarA haze! addabhuta rUpa.... adabhuta lAvaNya! e enI mastImAM hatI. jhUlA para hIMcatI hatI.... gAtI hatI...... ane manane harI le tevA hAvabhAva karatI hatI... paraMtu jyAM eNe amane joyA.... ekadama jhUlA uparathI UtarI gaI.... ane kSaNavAramAM e vanamAM adazya thaI gaI. he kRpALu, ame e kanyAne zodhavA mATe e bAju gayA. eka eka vRkSanI pAse jaIne tapAsa karI... paNa e na jaDI te na jaDI. ame nirAza thaI gayA.... zuM enuM gajaba rUpa hatuM... haju paNa amArI kalpanAmAM evI ja tAdRza taravare che... amane vilaMba thavAnuM A kAraNa che." e puruSonI vAta sAMbhaLI mAruM mana caMcaLa thaI gayuM. mArA cittamAM khaLabhaLATa thavA mAMDyo. sUryAsta thaI gayo hato. saMdhyAkAlIna kartavyone pUrAM karI huM palaMgamAM paDyo.... mane pelA puruSoe karelI vAte evo ja kaDI lIdho hato ke mane nidrA ja na AvI. For Private And Personal Use Only

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3 Acharya Shri Kailassagarsuri Gyanmandir mArA sainikonA mukhe jenA rUpanI prazaMsA meM sAMbhaLI, te vanakanyAne jovAno meM nirNaya karyo. prazaMsAnA zabdonA sahAre meM e vanakanyAnI kalpanAmUrti to ghaDI ja kADhI hatI.... e kalpanAmUrtie mArA manane mohI lIdhuM hatuM..... kyAreya nahIM jAgelAM.... evAM saMvedano huM anubhavI rahyo hato. 'bhale mArA sainiko e rUpasIne zodhI na zakyA, huM jarUra ene zodhI kADhIza.... ane enA divya rUpanuM nayanakorA bharI bharIne pAna karIza....' prabhAte UThIne meM turta ja chAvaNImAM ghoSaNA karAvI dIdhI ke 'Aje ApaNe ahIM ja vizrAma karavAno che, AgaLa vadhavAnuM nathI.' snAnAdithI nivRtta thaIne meM 52mAtmAnuM pUjana karyuM. mAtAe pratidina paramAtmapUjana karavAnI Teva pADI dIdhelI. ratnanI eka suMdara jinamUrti meM sAthe ja rAkhelI hatI. zuddha jaLathI paramAtmAne abhiSeka karI, tAjAM sugaMdhI puSpothI meM bhAvapUrvaka pUjA karI.... mane pUjana karatAM karatAM romAMca thayo..... mArI romarAjI vikasvara thaI gaI. stavana karatAM mArI AMkho harSanAM AMsuothI bharAI gaI.... koI avyakta divya AnaMda meM anubhavyo. mArA jIvanamAM A paNa pahelo ja anubhava hato. 'pa2mAtmapUjanamAM divya AnaMdanI anubhUti thaI zake che.' A satya meM e divase manomana svIkArI lIdhuM. e divase paramAtmAnI vItarAgamudrA mane prasanna bhAsI. paramAtmAnI AMkhomAM bhArobhAra prItinAM amRta UchaLatAM joyAM. pUjanavidhi pUrNa karI mitra rAjakumAro sAthe dugdhapAna karyuM ane gaI kAle vanakanyAne joI AvanArA pelA sainikone sAthe laI ame e dizAmAM UpaDyA. jema jema e dizAmAM ame AgaLa vadhatA gayA, tema tema kudaratanuM sauMdarya amane mugdha karatuM hatuM. 'jaMgalamAM kudarate ATalo zaNagAra konA mATe sajyo haze?' A prazna UThatAM ja mArI kalpanAmUrti sAkAra thaI! 'samajAyuM! AvI svargakanyA A pradezamAM vicaratI hoya.... pachI kudarata kema zaNagAra na sarja!' ame eka vizALa sarovaranI pAse AvI pahoMcyAM. pANImAM dhoLA dhoLA haMsalAo mukta krIDA karI rahyA hatA. kinArA uparanAM vRkSonAM pANImAM pratibiMba paDatAM hatAM. ThaMDI ThaMDI havA tana-manane praphullita karatI hatI. mArA For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM sainikoe kahyuM: "mahArAja kumAra, A ja e pradeza che ke jyAM ame gaI kAle rUparUpanA aMbArasamI vanakanyAne joI hatI. ane mArI pyAsI AMkho cAre dizAmAM e vanakanyAne jovA mATe pharI vaLI.... meM sarovaranI AsapAsa pharIne e vanakanyAne zodhavA mAMDI. tyAM eka vananikuMjanI pAse UbhelI ane mArI tarapha ekITase joI rahelI eka kanyAne meM joI.... huM joI ja rahyo, e jarA paNa hAlyAcAlyA vinA e jagAe UbhI rahI hatI. kyAreya... kyAMya na joyeluM rUpa meM joyuM. sAkSAt kAmadeva ja suMdarInuM rUpa dharIne pRthvI upara utarI Avyo hato, ema mane lAgyuM. "A koNa haze? A jaMgalamAM ATalI nirbhayatA zuM kharekhara A koI divya pradezanI apsarA haze? Ano svAmI koNa haze?' mArA manamAM vicAronI hAramALA cAlu thaI gaI. huM vAraMvAra enI sAme joto hato. e mArI sAme je joI rahI hatI.... kutUhalathI! AzcaryathI! mAruM mana enA pratye anurAgI banI gayuM. huM enI pAse jAuM? pAse jAuM ane adRzya thaI jAya to?' mane mArA sainikoe gaI kAle kahelI vAta yAda AvI gaI! paraMtu turta ja mane vicAra Avyo : "e mArI sAme animeSa nayane joI rahI che.... UbhI rahI che... mArA pratye enA manamAM paNa anurAga jAgyo hovo ja joIe.... nahIMtara e bhAgI jAta." Ama huM vicAruM chuM, tyAM meM mArA sainikono kolAhala sAMbhaLyo. sainiko snAnAdi mATe sarovara pAse AvelA hatA. e vanakanyAe sainikone joyA ane e ja kSaNe e doDI gaI... kyAM cAlI gaI enI mane khabara na paDI. huM e bAju jhaDapathI AgaLa vadhyo. mitra rAjakumArone kahyuM : "tame chAvaNImAM jAo, huM AvI jaIza.' huM e vanakanyAne zodhato AgaLa cAlato gayo. mArAM tana-mana vyAkuLa banI gayAM hatAM. huM rAganA pragADha baMdhanamAM jakaDAI gayo hato. ene joyA pachI ene meLavavAnI prabaLa icchA jAgrata thaI hatI. mAruM puruSatva UchaLI rahyuM hatuM. thoDo AgaLa vadhyo. UMcAM UMcAM azokavRkSonI vacce UbheluM eka ramaNIya maMdira joyuM. maMdiranI AsapAsano pradeza svaccha hato. meM vicAryuM : "jarUra e sulocanA A maMdiramAM ja hovI joIe.... sainikothI DarIne maMdiramAM ja pravezI gaI haze...." ema vicArIne meM maMdiramAM praveza karyo. maMdiramAM praveza karatAM ja meM sAme paramAtmA RSabhadevanI bhavya ane nayanaramya mUrti joI. turta ja be hAtha joDAI gayA... mastaka namI paDyuM... For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #26
14 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM namo jiNA' bolAI gayuM.... kharekhara, huM e vanakanyAne bhUlI gayo! mananA vicAronuM kevuM ekAeka parivartana! nimittonI kevI asara! mArA mananA vikAro zAMta thaI gayA. mArI AMkho bhagavAna AdinAthanI karuNArasabharI AMkho sAthe jaDAI gaI. mane paramAtmAnuM pUjana karavAnuM mana thayuM. mArAM vastra zuddha hatAM. huM maMdiranI bahAra Avyo. pAse ja bagIco hato. bagIcAmAM jaIne sugaMdhabharapUra puSpo laI Avyo. uttarIya vastrathI mukhakoza bAMdhIne meM paramAtmAnI puSpapUjA karI... puSpapUjA karatAM vaLI pAcho jevo savAre thayo hato evo ja romAMca thayo... evuM apUrva AtmasaMvedana thayuM ke ene zabdomAM vyakta karI na zakuM. mArA mukhamAMthI sahaja bhAve ja paramAtmAnI stavanA relAvA lAgI. mukhethI zabdo relAyA.... AMkhomAMthI AMsu relAyAM... uttarIya vastrathI AMkho lUchIne jouM chuM to maMdiranAM sopAna caDhIne eka vayovRddha muni dhIme pagale maMdiramAM AvI rahyA che! mAthe zveta vALanI lAMbI jaTA che.. paramAtmAne praNAma karyA, Ubho thayo ane muninI sAme jaIne temane praNAma karyA... karuM chuM tyAM to hAthamAM puSpono karaMDiyo laIne e ja vanakanyA jhaDapathI maMdiramAM AvIne e vRddha muninI pAchaLa UbhI rahI gaI. e mArI sAme joI rahI hatI. huM vRddha muni sAthe vAta karatAM karatAM enI sAme joI leto hato. enI AMkhomAM Adara hato, sneha hato.... ghaNuM ghaNuM hatuM. bhramarathI vadhu kALA vALanI jaTA vacce enuM goruM mukhaDuM vAdaLonI vacce camakatA candramAne yAda karAvatuM hatuM. vaddhatve jemanA samagra dehane jarjarita karI dIdho hato, tevA e mahAmunie sAkarathIye madhura vANImAM mane pUchyuM : vatsa! tuM kyA kuLano zaNagAra che? tAruM nAma zuM che ane ahIM A vanapradezamAM AvavAnuM zuM prayojana che?' meM mAro paricaya parimita zabdomAM Apyo. RSie mane vizeSa na pUchayuM. meM ApelA paricayathI emane saMtoSa thayo hoya ema mane lAgyuM. meM mArI jijJAsA saMtoSavA RSine pUchayuM : "he maharSi, A jaMgalamAM ahIM jinamaMdira koNe baMdhAvyuM che? Apano paricaya zuM che ane A kanyA koNa che? kRpA karIne mArI jijJAsA saMtoSo, jo Apane vAMdho na hoya to." e gRhastha RSie khUba snehabharyA svare mane kahyuM : "kumAra, amArI kathA For Private And Personal Use Only

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15 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM. lAMbI che, tene kahevAmAM mane koI vAMdho nathI... pahelAM ame paramAtmA-pUjA karI laIe. tuM thoDo samaya amArI pratIkSA kara.' meM e mahAtmAmAM jema sahaja snehALatA joI, karuNA joI, tema koI UMDI vedanAnuM paNa anumAna karyuM. emanI kAyA bhale kSINa banI hatI, paraMtu emanuM vyaktitva bhavya hatuM, AkarSaka hatuM, lAMbI zveta jaTA ane dADhImAM emanI tejasvitA vadhu jhagArA mAratI hatI. teo paramAtmA RSabhadevanAM arcanapUjanamAM pravRtta thayA. pelI kanyA paNa e RSivaranI sAthe cAlI gaI hatI ane pUjanamAM sahAya karI rahI hatI.... enA mukha upara narI mugdhatA hatI. saMsAranA taDakA-chAMyaDAthI sAva aparicita evI e kanyA pratye mAtra rUpathI ja nahIM, paraMtu koI avyakta AkarSaNathI huM kheMcAI rahyo hato. eno mArA pratyeno anurAga huM pAmI gayo hato. khUba zAMtithI, samatAthI ane bhaktibhAvathI pUjA karIne e maharSi mArI pAse AvyA. mArI sAme dRSTi sthApita karI temaNe kahyuM : 'kumAra, ahIM najIkamAM ja mArI jhUMpaDI che, tyAM cAlo. tamAro satkAra karavAno mane lAbha. Apo." meM mauna saMmati ApI ane emanI sAthe maMdiranAM pagathiyAM UtaravA mAMDyo. RSikanyA RSino eka hAtha pakaDIne cAlI rahI hatI. maMdiranI najIka ja emanI jhUMpaDI hatI. e jhUMpaDI na hatI, eka nAnakaDo suMdara Azrama hato. e AzramamAM sAdAI, svacchatA ane suMdaratAno saMgama thayelo hato. prAMgaNamAM nAnI zI puSpavATikA hatI. judAM judAM sugaMdhI puSpothI samRddha vATikA sugaMdha relAvatI hatI. ame vATikAmAMthI pasAra thaI kASTha, parNa ane mATIthI nirmita eka vizALa khaMDamAM dAkhala thayA. mane besavA mATe RSikanyAe darbhAsana bichAvyuM. RSi kASThAsana para beThA, emanI pAse ja huM darbhAsana para beTho. RSikanyA aMdaranA khaMDamAM cAlI gaI ane thoDI ja vAramAM dUdhano pyAlo ane svAdiSTa phaLa laIne hAjara thaI. RSie mane kahyuM : "amAruM Atithya svIkAro, kumAra. amane AnaMda thaze.' RSikanyA mauna hatI, paraMtu e paNa mane maunapaNe Agraha karI rahI hatI. huM emano Agraha TALI na zakyo. Atithyano svIkAra karIne meM saMtoSa anubhavyo. RSie kahyuM : "kumAra, have huM tamane A jinamaMdira aMge, mArA aMge ane A kanyA aMge sarva vigata jaNAvuM chuM. amArI A kathA kharekhara vyathA bharelI che. chatAM e vyathAne hRdayamAM bhaMDArI daIne ame jIvana jIvI rahyAM chIe. For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM ApaNA ja A dezamAM amarAvatI nAmanuM nagara che. nagaranA rAjAnuM nAma haripeNa ane rANInuM nAma priyadarzanA. temane eka putra hato, tenuM nAma jitasena. eka divasa rAjA hariSaNa azvArUDha banI nagaranA bAhya udyAnamAM jaI rahyA hatA. azva upara ArUDha thayA hatA te azva navo hato. rAjAne khabara nA paDI ke A azvane viparIta zikSaNa ApavAmAM AvyuM che! azva rAjAnA kAbUmAM na rahyo. pavanavege te doDavA ja mAMDyo... keTalAMya yojana eNe doDyA karyuM..... chevaTe A vanapradezamAM AvIne e azva Ubho rahyo, jevo azva Ubho rahyo..... e rAjA nIce UtarI gayo. rAjAnA sainiko paNa rAjAnI pAchaLa azvArohI banIne, rAjAne zodhatA A pradezamAM AvI pahoMcyA hatA. rAjA hariSaNa A vanapradezamAM pharatAM pharatAM A AzramamAM AvI caDyA. e vakhate A AzramamAM 'vizvabhUti' nAmanA maharSi kulapati hatA. aneka saMsAratyAgI saMnyAsIo A AzramamAM rahI AtmasAdhanA karatA hatA. maharSi vizvabhUtinI saMnyAsa paraMparA kaccha-mahAkacchanI hatI. bhagavAna RSabhadevanI sAthe ja kaccha-mahAkaccha saMsArano tyAga karI cAritra grahaNa kareluM hatuM... bhagavAna RSabhadevane jyAre eka varSa sudhI bhikSA na maLI, kaccha-mahAkaccha bhagavAnane choDI, nadInA kinAre rahI, kaMdamULa ane sevALano AhAra karatA, tapazcaryA karatA hatA. satata bhagavAna RSabhadevanuM smaraNa karatA hatA.... e kaccha-mahAkacchano sAdhanAmArga haju cAlyo Ave che. temanI paraMparAmAM A "vizvabhUti' maharSi thayA hatA. rAjA haripheNa jyAre AzramamAM AvyA, kulapatine vinayapUrvaka namaskAra karyA. kulapatie harirSaNane AvakAra Apyo. rAjacinothI kulapatie jANI lIdhuM ke "A rAjA che." rAjAne premapUrvaka AzIrvAda ApyA ane pUchyuM : mahAnubhAva, tame kyAMthI ahIM AvyA cho? tame ekalA ja kema cho?' rAjAe yathArtha paricaya Apyo. banelI ghaTanA kahI saMbhaLAvI, eTalAmAM to rAjAnA sainiko AzramamAM AvI pahoMcyA. rAjAne joIne teo harSita thayA. kulapatie AzramanI bahAra sainiko mATe taMbUo taNAvyA. rAjAne maharSi vizvabhUtino snehapUrNa vyavahAra to gamI gayo, paraMtu AzramanuM vAtAvaraNa paNa khUba gamI gayuM. AzramavAsI sAdhu-saMnyAsIonuM prasannatAbharyuM, pavitratAmaya ane AtmaArAdhanAthI bharapUra jIvana joIne rAjAne anahada pramoda thayo. For Private And Personal Use Only

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17 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM maharSi vizvabhUtie rAjA hariSaNanI AgatA-svAgatAmAM jema koI UNapa na rAkhI, tema rAjAnA hRdayane dharmavANIthI evuM bhIMjavI dIdhuM ke rAjAne maharSi pratye aMtaraMga prIti jAgrata thaI. maharSie paramAtmA RSabhadevanA evA guNo gAyA... ke rAjAnA hRdayamAM paramAtmA RSabhadeva pratye bharapUra bhaktibhAva ullasyo. temanA manamAM manaratha pragaTyo ke "huM A AzramamAM bhagavAna RSabhadevanuM suMdara maMdira banAvI, paramAtmAnI nayanaramya pratimA padharAvuM!' temaNe kulapatine potAnI bhAvanA batAvI. kulapatie manorathanI anumodanA karI. rAjAe turta ja sainikone bolAvI AjJA karI : "AzramamAM eka suMdara maMdiranuM nirmANa kArya zarU karo. nagaramAM jaIne kArIgarone bolAvI lAvo. sAmagrI bhegI karo. jyAM sudhI maMdiranuM kArya pUrNa nahIM thAya tyAM sudhI huM ahIM ja rahIza." he kumAra, rAjA harieNe ullasita bhAvathI A jinamaMdiranuM nirmANa karAvyuM ane tame hamaNAM je prabhunuM sugaMdhI puSpothI pUjana karyuM te AdinAtha prabhunI pratimAne e rAjAe birAjamAna karI." mArA eka praznano javAba ApI e vayovRddha munie thoDI kSaNe vizrAma karyo. mArI eka jijJAsA saMtoSAyAno mane harSa thayo. RSikanyA paNa ekAgra citte badhI vAta sAMbhaLI rahI hatI. kyAreka kyAreka e mArA manobhAva jANavA mArI sAme joI letI hatI. jyAre e mArI sAme jotI hatI ane amArI daSTi maLI jatI hatI.... tyAre huM romAMca anubhavato hato, RSivare mArI bIjI jijJAsA saMtoSavA, potAnI vAta AgaLa calAvI. For Private And Personal Use Only

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4 Acharya Shri Kailassagarsuri Gyanmandir 'kumA2, jyAre jinamaMdiranuM kArya saMpUrNa thaI gayuM, tyAre rAjA hariSaNe kulapatine kahyuM : 'he kRpAvaMta, have huM amarAvatI jaIza, mane anujJA Apo.' kulapatinA hRdayamAM rAjA pratye khUba AdarabhAva hato. temaNe rAjAne kahyuM: 'rAjanU, tame prasanna citte amarAvatI padhAro. tamane huM A eka viSApahAra maMtra ApuM chuM. A maMtranA prabhAve koI paNa manuSyane game tenuM jhera caDyuM hoya, te UtarI jAya che. tame paropakArI cho, paramArthI cho, mATe A maMtra tamane ApuM chuM.' rAjAe maharSinAM caraNomAM mastaka mUkI dIdhuM. vinayathI maMtra grahaNa karyo ane AMkhomAM AMsu sAthe rAjAe A AzramamAMthI vidAya lIdhI. jyAre rAjA amarAvatI pahoMcyA, tyAre nagaravAsI hajAro strI-puruSoe rAjAnuM bhAvabhInuM bhavya svAgata karyuM. rANI priyadarzanAne khUba harSa thayo. kumAra jitasenanuM hRdaya AnaMdathI khIlI UThyuM. eka divasa mahArAjA hariSaNa rAjasabhAmAM beThA hatA, tyAre eka aparicita puruSe rAjasabhAmAM praveza karyo. praNAma karIne teNe nivedana karyuM : 'he dayALu narezvara, huM maMgalAvatI nagarIthI AvuM chuM. amArA rAjAnuM nAma che priyadarzana. mahArANInuM nAma che vidyutprabhA. temanI rAja kumArI che prItimati. he rAjezvara, e prItimatine eka bhayaMkara sApe DaMkha dIdho che. rAjakumArI nizceSTa thaIne paDI che. rAjA-rANInA kalpAMtano pAra nathI. rAjAe A duHkhada paristhiti Apane jaNAvavA mane mokalyo che....' saMdezavAhakanI AMkho bhInI thaI hatI.... eno avAja gaLagaLo thaI gayo hato. rAjAe saMdezavAhakane kahyuM : 'ApaNe hamaNAM ja maMgalAvatI tarapha prayANa karIe chIe.' eka kSaNanoya vilaMba karyA vinA rAjA azvArUDha banI, thoDAka sainikonI sAthe maMgalAvatI tarapha UpaDI gayA. pavanavegI athe bIjA ja divase rAjAne maMgalAvatImAM pahoMcADI dIdhA. sIdhA ja rAjamahelamAM pahoMcIne rAjakumArI prItimatine tapAsI. rAjakumArInA zvAsocchvAsa cAlu hatA. rAjA hi2SeNe turta ja 'viSApahAra maMtra'no prayoga AraMbhyo. maMtradAtA gurudeva vizvabhUtinuM smaraNa karIne karelA maMtraprayogathI turta ja prItimati viSamukta banI. teNe For Private And Personal Use Only

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19 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM AMkho kholI. rAjA priyadarzana ane rANI vidhutrabhAnI AMkhomAMthI harSanAM AMsu vahevA lAgyAM. rAjakumArIne potAnA utsaMgamAM laI rAjA-rANI bhAvavibhora thaI gayAM. rAjA harieNe rAjA priyadarzanane kahyuM : "rAjanuM, mane anujJA Apo, huM amarAvatI jaIza." rAjA priyadarzane kahyuM : "he upakArI mahApuruSa, tamane ema ja nahIM javA dauM. thoDA divasa ahIM rokAvuM ja paDaze. amane ApanI sevAno avasara ApI amArAM cittane saMtuSTa karavAM paDaze." rAjA priyadarzananA ati Agrahane rAjA hariSaNa TALI na zakyA. teo maMgalAvatImAM thoDA divasa rokAyA. e arasAmAM rAjA priyadarzana ane rANI vidyutUbhAe nirNaya karI lIdho ke "prItimatinuM lagna rAjA haripeNa sAthe karavuM." eka divasa temaNe rAjA haripeNane potAno manoratha jaNAvI dIdho. zubha divase ane zubha muhurta prItimatinAM lagna rAjA haripheNa sAthe thaI gayAM. prItimatine laIne rAjA haripeNa amarAvatI AvyA. nagaravAsIoe rAjA-rANInuM AnaMdabhera svAgata karyuM. rANI priyadarzanAe prItimatino haiyAnAM hetathI Adara karyo. prItimatie rANI priyadarzanAmAM jANe potAnI mAtAnAM darzana karyA. baMne rANIonA saMge varSo sudhI rAjA haripeNe bhogasukha bhogavyAM. rAja kumAra jitasena yauvanamAM AvatAM eka suzIla rAjakumArI sAthe enAM lagna karyA. lagnamahotsava pUrNa thatAM ja rANI priyadarzanAe dehano tyAga karyo... acAnaka ja rANIe A saMsAramAMthI vidAya laI lIdhI... rAjA haripeNanA hRdayane bhAre AMcako lAgyo. temanuM mana udvigna thaI gayuM. rANI prItimati rAjAnA manane zAMta-prazAMta karavA aneka upAyo kare che.... rAjAnuM mana haLavuM bane che, paraMtu saMsAranAM bhogasukhothI virakta bane che! pAMca indriyonAM viSayasukho temane asAra bhAse che. rAjyavaibhavo temane kSaNika samajAya che. eka divasa temaNe prItimatine kahyuM : "devI, mAruM mana have rAjamahelamAM TharatuM nathI... saMsAranuM koI sukha have mane sukharUpa lAgatuM nathI.... have to basa, zeSa jIvana gurudevanA AzramamAM rahIne vyatIta karavAnI icchA thAya che. paramAtmA RSabhadevanAM caraNakamaLanI sevA karatAM karatAM jIvana pUrNa thAya...." prItimatie rAjAnI ucca bhAvanAne abhinaMdatAM kahyuM : "he nAtha, ApanI bhAvanA uttama che. uttarAvasthAmAM AtmakalyANa sAdhI levAnI bhagavAna RSabhadeve prarUpelI saMskRti che. Apano manoratha mane paNa gamyo che. huM paNa ApanI sAthe ja AvIza.' For Private And Personal Use Only

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20 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM rAjA hariSaNanuM mana khUba prasanna thaI gayuM. temane potAno manoratha saphaLa thato dekhAyo. paraMtu rANIe sAthe AvavAnI vAta mUkI, tethI rAjAe kahyuM : devI, tame to ahIM ja raho. tamane ahIM koI ja kaSTa nahIM paDe. AzramanuM jIvana tamArAthI nahIM jivAya...' "mArA nAtha, mAre mana to jyAM Apa ho tyAM rAjamahela che. ApanI chAyAmAM ja mAruM svarga che. huM ApanI chAyA banIne rahIza, ApanI AtmasAdhanAmAM bAdhaka nahIM banuM.' prItimatie potAnI bhAvanAne spaSTa karI. "zuM tamane ema lAge che ke rAjakumAra jitasena tamArI sArasaMbhALa nahIM rAkhe... tamArI avagaNanA karaze?" "nA re nA, rAjakumAranI mArA pratye apAra bhakti che, mArA deva! e mArAmAM mahAdevI priyadarzanAnAM darzana kare che! e mAtRbhakta rAjakumAra mATe mArA eka rUMvADAmAMya zaMkA nathI.... paraMtu huM ApanA vinA mahelamAM rahI zakuM nahIM. ApanA vinAno mahela mAre mana smazAna che...." 'rAjA hariSaNanI AMkho harSanAM AMsuthI bhInI thaI gaI. temaNe prItimatine sAthe AvavAnI anumati ApI. bIjI bAju rAja kumAra jitasenanA rAjyAbhiSekanI taiyArIo karAvavA mAMDI. alabatta, haripeNanA manamAM eka UMDI vedanA jarUra hatI. je AzramamAM e zeSa jIvana vitAvavA icchatA hatA, have e AzramamAM kulapati vizvabhUti rahyA nathI! temano svargavAsa thaI gayelo che. rAjAnI kalpanA-sRSTimAM jyAre jyAre Azrama Ave che, tyAre tyAre vizvabhUtino abhAva temanA manamAM bhArobhAra vedanA janmAve che. temAM... temanuM AzvAsana bane che bhagavAna RSabhadevanuM maMdira! aneka AtmasAdhaka saMnyAsIono satsaMga ane sahavAsa! kAraNa ke rAjAne emAMnA ghaNAM saMnyAsIo oLakhatA hatA. kulapati vizvabhUtinA parama prItipAtra banelA rAjA pratye e saMnyAsIone Adara paNa hato. rAjAnA manamAM A vAtanI hUMpha hatI. sArA muhUrtamAM rAja kumArano rAjyAbhiSeka thaI gayo ane rAjA-rANIe vizvabhUtinA Azrama tarapha maMgala prayANa karyuM. rAjA jitasene ane hajAro prajAjanoe azrubhInI AMkhe... bhAvabharI vidAya ApI. For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 21 svargastha kulapati vizvabhUtinA AzramamAM jyAre rAjA-rANI pahoMcyAM, tyAre AzramavAsIoe temanuM ucita svAgata karyuM. temane mATe suyogya AvAsasthAna ApyuM. rANI prItimatine paNa AzramanuM vAtAvaraNa gamI gayuM. rAjAnI sAthe tamAma dainika kRtyo te Acare che. vinaya, namratA, udAratA vagere guNonI suvAsa AzramamAM prasarI gaI. rAjA-rANI vividha tapazcaryA kare che. paramAtmA RSabhadevanI sevA-pUjA kare che.... prasannatAthI emano samaya pasAra thAya che. pAMceka mahinA pasAra thayA. eka divasa rAjA hariSaNanI najara prItimatinA zarIra para sthira thaI. rAjAne lAgyuM ke 'prItimati garbhavatI che!' rANIne pUchyuM : 'A kevI rIte banyuM?' 'nAtha, ApaNe AzramamAM AvyA te pUrve huM garbhavatI banI hatI, paraMtu meM Apane eTalA mATe vAta nahotI karI ke ApanA tyAgamArgamAM vighna UbhuM na thAya. vaLI, Apa mane to sAthe lAvata ja nahIM.' rAjA hariSeNanA mananuM samAdhAna to thaI gayuM, paraMtu AzramavAsI tapasvIomAM A vAta gaMbhIra carcAno viSaya banI gaI. prItimati tarapha tapasvIone aruci thaI gaI. rAjA hariSaNa pratyeno AdarabhAva ocho thaI gayo. 'A AzramamAM saMpUrNa brahmacaryanuM pAlana karanAra ja rahI zake. rAjAe A niyamanuM ullaMghana karyuM. AzramamAM AvIne temaNe viSayasevana karyuM che, jenA pariNAme prItimati garbhavatI banI che.' tapasvIo bhegA thayA. eka tapasvIe upa2 mujaba vAta rajU karI. bIjA tapasvIe kahyuM : 'ApaNe rAjAne nivedana karIe ke A rIte AzramamAM na rahI zakAya.' 'to pachI rAjA kyAM jaze?' eka avAja UThyo. 'ene jyAM javuM hoya tyAM jAya.... AzramamAM A rIte kema rahevAya?' 'enA karatAM ApaNe ja Azrama choDIne cAlyA jaIe to kema? rAjAne Azrama choDavAnuM kahevuM anucita che, rAjA-rANI bhale AzramamAM rahe.' sahu tapasvIo A vicAramAM saMmata thaI gayA, ane eka divase vahelI savAre sahu tapasvIoe Azramano tyAga karyo. jyAre A vAta rAjA-rANIe jANI, tyAre emanA hRdaya para vajraghAta thayo. For Private And Personal Use Only

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22. pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM rAjA haripeNa ghora udAsInatAmAM DUbI gayA. rANI prItimati dhrusake dhrusake raDI paDI. rAjA-rANIe tapasvIonA pagamAM paDIne kSamA mAgI ane satya hakIkata jaNAvI.... ke "ame AzramamAM AvIne saMpUrNa brahmacaryanuM pAlana karyuM che. AzramamAM AvyA te pUrve rANI garbhavatI hatI. mATe tame saha Azrama tyajIne cAlyA na jAo.' paraMtu tapasvIonAM mana udvigna thaI gayAM hatAM. temaNe koI pratyuttara na Apyo.... teo cAlyA gayA. pachI AzramamAM mAtra rAjA ane rANI be ja rahyAM. temanA hRdayamAM pazcAttApano pAra na hato.... paramAtmA RSabhadevanAM caraNomAM anekavAra rANI prItimati raDI paDatI hatI. rAjA rANIne AzvAsana ApIne svastha karatA hatA. ema karatAM zeSa cAra mahinA pasAra thaI gayA. eka divase prItimatinA zarIramAM tIvra vedanA UpaDI.... teNe putrIne janma Apyo. putrIne janma ApyA pachI prItimatinuM svAthya bagaDatuM gayuM. rAjA rANInI khUba sevA-suzruSA kare che. putrIne paNa sAcave che.... chatAM rAjAne haju koI navo AghAta sahevAno hara... eka divasa rANIe kAyAnuM pIMjaruM tyajI dIdhuM, haMsalo UDI gayo... pIMjaruM paDI rahyuM. rAjA hariSeNe potAnA bhAvuka hRdaya para paththara mUkIne rANInA dehane agnisaMskAra karyo. navajAta putrIne saMbhALI lIdhI. RSinA AzramamAM putrIno janma thayo hato, tethI putrInuM nAma RSidattA' pADIne rAjA ene RSidattA kahIne ja bolAve che. potAnA jIvanamAM niraMtara ugra tapazcaryA karatA e rAjarSi "RSidattAne ucca koTinA saMskAro Ape che. jema jema RSidattA moTI thatI jAya che, tenuM rUpa ane lAvaNya khIlI UThe che. ATha varSanI RSidattA thaI ane eNe pitAnI sevAnuM jANe vrata laI lIdhuM. vananAM haraNa-haraNInAM joDalAM to RSidattAnAM sahavAsI banI gayAM hatAM. RSidattA vanya pazuo pratye apAra sneha varasAvatI... enI duniyA ja e hatI ne! eka divasa rAjarSie RSidattAne joI.. dhyAnathI joI... emanA manamAM eka bhaya jAgyo : "mArI A rUpavatI dIkarInuM kyAreka vanavAsI loko apaharaNa karI jaze to?' rAjarSi ciMtAmAM paDI gayA. tyAM emane kulapati vizvabhuti yAda AvyA. jyAre A jinamaMdiranA nirmANa vakhate rAjA vizvabhUtinI 1.se rahelA tyAre vizvabhUtie rAjA pratyenA vizvAsathI ane anurAgathI jema viSApahAra maMtra' Apelo, tema adazya thaI javAnuM eka "aMjana' paNa batAveluM! For Private And Personal Use Only

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23 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM rAjarSine e "aMjana' yAda AvI gayuM. "aMjana' banAvavAnI vidhine barAbara yAda karI lIdhI ane aMjana' taiyAra karI dIdhuM. e adazyIkaraNa-aMjana evuM hatuM ke jenI AMkhomAM AMjavAmAM Ave tene koI joI na zake, e bIjAone joI zake! rAjarSi avasare avasare A "aMjanano prayoga RSidattA para karavA lAgyA. pachI to RSidattAne e aMjanavidhi ja batAvI dIdhI. A aMjananA sahAre RSidattA svecchAnusAra A vanapradezamAM pharavA lAgI. ene have koI bhaya na rahyo. jaMgalavAsI puruSo RSidanAne joI ja zakatA nathI! bharayauvanamAM pravezelI RSidanA nirbhaya ane nizcita banIne pitAnI sevAmAM lIna rahe che. he kumAra! he saujanyazIla! e haripeNa rAjA te huM chuM ane e RSidattA te A mArI putrI che!' rAjarSi zramita thaI gayA hatA. temaNe AMkho baMdha karI ane bhIMtanA sahAre zarIra TekavI dIdhuM. meM RSidanA sAme joyuM.... mArA haiyAmAM enA pratye apAra sneha chalakAyo. enI AMkhomAM mArA pratye meM Adara joyo, prema joyo... ame arasaparasa ekabIjA sAme maunapaNe joI rahyAM hatAM.... enI noMdha rAjarSie laI lIdhI hatI. temanA mukha upara mita ramavA mAMDyuM. mArI sAme joIne mane kahyuM : kumAra, mArI eka bheTano svIkAra karazo?' "Apa mArA pUjya cho, rAjarSi cho, ApanI AjJA huM zirodhArya karIza. Apa AjJA karo." meM natamastake pratyuttara Apyo. 'kumAra, mArI putrI RSidattA huM tamane soMpuM chuM, tame eno svIkAra karI mane mamatAnA baMdhanathI mukta karo.' ApanI AjJAno svIkAra karuM chuM. meM temanAM caraNe mastaka mUkI temanA AzIrvAda lIdhA. madhyAhunano samaya thaI gayo hato. bhojanaveLA thaI gaI hatI. mArA hRdayamAM AnaMdano mahodadhi ghUghavI rahyo hato. For Private And Personal Use Only

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meM rAjarSine ane RSidattAne Aje mArI sAthe bhojana karavA mATe, mArI sAthe chAvaNImAM AvavA ghaNo Agraha karyo, paraMtu rAjarSie mAruM AmaMtraNa na svIkAryuM. temaNe mane kahyuM : "kumAra, tAruM aucitya tArA zreSTha kuLanI maryAdA sUcave che, paraMtu ame atyAre AzramavAsI chIe. RSi-munine to jaMgalanAM phaLa vagereno ja AhAra karavAno hoya. ame amArI maryAdAmAM jIvIe e ja ucita kahevAya.' RSidattAnA mukha upara apAra prasannatA chavAI gaI hatI. zaramathI e mArI sAme joI zakatI na hatI. tenA komaLa zarIre rAmarAjI vikasvara thaI gaI hatI. te mauna hatI; chatAM e bolatI mane saMbhaLAtI hatI. rAjarSie RSidattAne kahyuM: "beTI, ApaNA AhAranI taiyArI karo." RSidattA mArI tarapha snehabhInI dRSTi pheMkatI, mukha para smita pharakAvatI tyAMthI cAlI gaI. huM paNa bhojana mATe mArI chAvaNImAM cAlyo gayo. mArA mitra rAjakumAro mArI rAha jotA beThA hatA. teo vanakanyA aMge jANavA khUba Atura hatA. je rAjapuruSoe gaIkAle e vanakanyAne joI hatI ane mane A pradezamAM laI AvelA, teo paNa "zuM banyuM?' te jANavA khUba Atura hatA. meM mArA zveta vastronA banAvelA suMdara AvAsamAM jaIne mitrone kahyuM : pahelAM ApaNe bhojana karI laIe! pachI tamane huM badhI vAta karuM chuM. 'zake. vikIya mowvama-' sa kAma choDIne paheluM kAma bhojananuM karavuM joIe!" huM khUba praphullita hato. peTamAM bhUkha hatI chatAM mArAM tana-mana khUba ullasita hatAM. ame mitroe sAthe besIne AnaMdathI bhojana karyuM. bhojananI ja jagyAe besIne meM mitrone rAjarSinA AzramamAM banelI sarva vAto khUba rasathI kahI saMbhaLAvI. pelA mArA rAjapuruSa paNa AvIne sAMbhaLavA besI gayA hatA. sahune mArI vAta sAMbhaLIne atyaMta harSa thayo. RSidattA sAthe lagna karavAnuM meM svIkAryAnI vAtathI sahunAM citta AnaMdita thaI gayAM. mitroe kahyuM : "kanaka! sArA muhUrta RSidattA sAthe lagna karI ja le." pitAjIe rAjapurohitane mArI sAthe mokalelA hatA ja. mitroe rAjapurohitane bolAvyA. rAjapurohite AvIne mane praNAma karyA ane temane bolAvavAnuM For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 25 prayojana pUchyuM. mitroe saghaLI vAta kahI saMbhaLAvI. rAjapurohite vAta sAMbhaLI, AMkho baMdha karI ane dhyAnamAM DUbI gayA. thoDI kSaNo pachI AMkho kholIne temaNe mArI sAme joyuM ane kahyuM : "kumAra! thoDA divasa ahIM rokAvuM paDaze. pAMca divasa pachI sAruM muhUrta Ave che.' ame tyAM rokAvAno nirNaya karyo. pAsenA nagaramAMthI Avazyaka khAdyasAmagrI maMgAvI lIdhI. sainyane jaNAvI dIdhuM ke "A pradezamAM thoDA divasa vadhu rokAvAnuM che." joke chAvaNImAM darekane khabara to paDI ja gaI hatI ke rAjarSi haripeNanI putrI RSidattA sAthe mArAM lagna thavAnAM che. sahunI avarajavara AzramamAM thaI gaI hatI. paramAtmA RSabhadevanA maMdiramAM savAra-sAMja sahu darzana karavA jatA-AvatA hatA ane sAthe sAthe rAjarSinAM caraNe vaMdana paNa karI AvatA hatA. sahue RSidattAne joI.. sahunAM mana rAjI thayAM. ApaNA rAjakumArane suyogya ja A RSikanyA che! AvuM adbhuta rUpa to ApaNe kyAMya joyuM nathI. kharekhara kumAra bhAgyazALI che...' chAvaNImAM AvI AvI vAto thatI rahI, mArA kAne athaDAtI rahI. mAruM mana harSavibhora banI gayuM. huM pratidina paramAtmAnuM bhAvapUrvaka pUjana karato hato. rAjarSinI pAse besI emanA mukhe dharmatattvonI vAto sAMbhaLato hato. RSidattAnA jIvanamAM A badhuM pahelavaheluM hatuM. A badhA mANasone te pahelavahelI jatI hatI! tenA mukha para kutUhala.... Azcarya.... adbhutatAnA bhAvo UbharAtA hatA. lagnano zubha divasa Ugyo. rAjapuruSoe Azramane zaNagArI dIdho hato. RSabhaprAsAdane paNa zaNagArI dIdho hato. rukmiNI mATe lIdhelAM mUlyavAna vastro ane suMdara alaMkArothI RSidattAne zaNagAravAmAM AvI hatI.... ene to meM ja pote sajAvI hatI. tyAM ene sajAvanAra bIjuM koNa hatuM rAjapurohite lagnanAM vidhi-vidhAnonI saMpUrNa taiyArIo karI dIdhI hatI. vAghonA sUro e vanapradezamAM prasarI rahyA hatA. ghaNAM vanya pazuo tyAM doDI AvyAM hatAM. rAjarSi haripeNanA mukha upara svasthatA hatI, gaMbhIratA hatI. prazasta lagna samaye amAro hastameLApa thayo. huM RSidattA sAthe lagnagraMthithI joDAyo. meM vidhipUrvaka RSidattAne mArI patnI tarIke svIkArI. rAjarSie amane baMnene aMtaranA AzIrvAda ApyA. lagnavidhi saMpUrNa thaI gayA pachI, rAjarSi temanA nivAsamAM gayA ane amane temanI pAchaLa pAchaLa AvavAno izAro karatA gayA. ame baMne temanI pAchaLa emanAM AvAsamAM gayAM ane vinayapUrvaka emanA caraNomAM beThAM.... For Private And Personal Use Only

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23 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM thoDI kSaNo e AMkho baMdha karIne mauna besI rahyA, pachI temaNe mArI sAme joyuM. teo mane kaMIka kahevA icchatA hatA. meM maunane toDyuM : he tAtatulya rAjarSi! koI ja saMkoca rAkhyA vinA je kahevuM hoya te kahevAnI kRpA karo." kumAra, RSidattA have tamane soMpI che. have tame ahIMthI javAnuM paNa vicArazo.... paraMtu mArI icchA evI che ke tame thoDA vadhu divasa ahIM rokAo....'rAjarSino svara bhIno thaI gayo hato. temanI UMDI UtarI gayelI AMkho paNa bhInI banI hatI... teo RSidattAnI sAme joI rahyA hatA. RSidattAnI AMkhomAMthI jamIna upara AMsu TapakI rahyAM hatAM. vIsa-vIsa varSathI satata vAtsalyabharyA pitAnA ullaMgamAM UcharIne moTI thayelI traSidattAne "have pitAne choDIne eka ajANyA puruSa sAthe... ajANyA nagaramAM mAre javuM paDaze... pitAnAM darzana kyAre thaze.' A vicAra AvI jAya ane tene vizvaLa banAvI de e svAbhAvika hatuM. potAnI lADakavAyI... hRdayanA TukaDA jevI putrI potAnAthI dUra dUra cAlI javAnI.... A kalpanA nehALa pitAnA hRdayane gadgad karI mUke te paNa svAbhAvika ja hatuM. chatAM pitA to eka RSi hatA, tattvajJAnI hatA. teo potAnA mananuM samAdhAna karI zake ema hatA, paraMtu dIkarInuM zuM! e to mugdhA hatI.... pitRpremathI chalochala bharelI hatI... pitRviyoganI kalpanA enA nAjuka hRdaya upara..... huM dhrUjI UThyo. meM rAjarSinI sAme joyuM ane kahyuM : he pUjyapAda, ApanI icchA haze, tyAM sudhI huM ahIM rahIza, prasannatAthI rahIza. mane A Azrama game che... A haraNAMnAM joDalAM game che. huM ahIM rahIza. mArI vAtathI rAjarSi gadgad thaI gayA ane mane emanA bAhupAzamAM jakaDI laI.... mArA mastakane vAraMvAra paMpALavA lAgyA. mArI AMkho sajala banI gaI hatI. rAjarSinA vAtsalyathI mAruM hRdaya UbharAI rahyuM hatuM. huM Ubho thayo. RSidattA paNa UbhI thaI. meM ene izArAthI samajAvyuM ke, e tyAM rAjarSi pAse ja bese. e besI gaI. huM AvAsanI bahAra Avyo. AzramanA udyAnamAM mArA mitra rAjakumAro AnaMdathI pharI rahyA hatA. huM emanI pAse gayo. meM temane kahyuM : "mitro, mAre ahIM thoDA vadhu divasa rokAvuM paDaze. rAjarSinI icchA evI che. eTale, jo tamAre tamArA nagare javuM hoya to tame jAo." For Private And Personal Use Only

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27 pAMpaNe bAMbu pANiyAruM to zuM ApaNe kAverI nagarI nathI javAnuM? rukimaNI sAthe pANigrahaNa nathI karavAnuM?" eka mitra bolI UThyo. sAcuM kahuM? A vAta to meM vicArI ja na hatI! RSidattAne je divase joI hatI, tyArathI mAMDIne Aja sudhImAM rukimaNIno vicAra ja mane nathI Avyo! mitrano prazna sAMbhaLIne huM vicAramAM paDI gayo, paraMtu thoDI ja kSaNomAM meM nirNayAtmaka javAba Apyo : nA, have ApaNe kAverI nathI javuM. rukimaNI sAthe pANigrahaNa nathI karavuM. ahIMthI ja ApaNe pAchA pharIzuM.' ema karavAthI mahArAjA hemaratha nArAja nahIM thAya?' mitre bhayasthAna batAvyuM. mArI kalpanAmAM pitAjI AvI gayA. mArA manamAM lAgyuM ke pitAjI nArAja nahIM thAya. meM mitrone kahyuM : pitAjI zA mATe nArAja thAya? huM teone samajAvIza." pelI rukmiNInuM zuM thaze?' bIjA mitre prazna karyo. enI icchA mujaba kare. huM have bIjuM lagna nahIM karI zakuM." dRDhatApUrvaka mAro nirNaya jaNAvyo. huM RSidattA sivAya have bIjI strInI kalpanA paNa karI zakuM ema na hato. to pachI ahIM keTalo samaya rokAvAnuM thaze?' "kaMI nakkI nahIM. jyAre rAjarSi anujJA Ape tyAre pAchA pharavAnuM.' mArA mitra rAjakumAroe parAmarza karyo ane mane kahyuM : mitra, tuM sukhethI ahIM rahe. tAruM ahIM rahevuM ucita che. jo amAruM koI prayojana na hoya to ame amArA nagare jaIe.' meM teone prasannacitte vidAya ApI. teoe rAjarSinAM caraNe praNAma karyA ane tyAMthI prayANa karI gayA. mArA sainyanA paDAvane vyavasthita karI devAmAM Avyo. meM mAro nivAsa AzramamAM pheravI dIdho, jethI huM rAjarSinI vadhu nikaTa rahI zakuM. RSidattA paNa emanI najIka ja rahI zake. AzramamAM mArI dainika jIvanacaryA vyavasthita goThavAI gaI. RSidattA, jANe huM deva houM te rIte mArI sevA karavA lAgI. namratA, vinaya ane saujanyanI jANe sAkSAt mUrti! bolavAnuM bahu ja ochuM... ane sneha apAra! ame roja saMdhyA samaye AsapAsanA vanapradezamAM pharavA paNa jatAM hatAM. eka divasa eNe mane pUchyuM : For Private And Personal Use Only

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Shri Mahavir Jain Aradhana Kendra 28 www.kobatirth.org pAMpaNe bAMdhyu pANiyAruM 'nAtha, zuM Apane mAtA che?' 'hA, bahu ja vAtsalyabharI mAtA che! tane khUba gamI jaze! tuM to ene khUba ja gamI jaIza..... Acharya Shri Kailassagarsuri Gyanmandir mArI vAta sAMbhaLIne e UMDA vicAramAM DUbI gaI. mane yAda AvI rAjarSinI vAta. 'kumAra, rANI prItimati putrIne janma ApyA pachI turta ja mRtyu pAmI....' RSidattAe mAtAne joI ja na hatI.... mAtAnuM sukha meLavyuM na hatuM. meM ene kahyuM : 'mArI mAtAne paramAtmA khUba game che. RSimunio pratye khUba zraddhA che. khUba dhArmika vRttinI che. mArA upara ene khUba prema che.' 'pUcho?' 'nArAja nahIM thAone?' 'to to mane khUba gamaze tamArI mAtA....' eNe mArI sAme evI dRSTithI joyuM. meM enI AMkhomAM parama saMtoSa joyo! bIjI eka vAta pUchuM?' 'kyAreya nahIM!' eNe mArI sAme joyuM. mArI AMkho vAMcI, pachI bolI : 'tamArA parivAramAM mAMsAhAra to nathI thato ne?' 'tAro bhaya asthAne che. rAjaparivAromAM lagabhaga mAMsAhAra thato hoya che, paraMtu amArA parivAramAM mAMsAhAra varjita che, kAraNa ke ame paNa pa2mAtmA RSabhadevanA nigrantha pravacanane mAnIe chIe. ahiMsA dharma pratye amArA parivAranI zraddhA che.' 'to to bahu sAruM!' tenA mukha upara AnaMda chavAI gayo.... te bolI : 'tame bahu sArA cho, mane khUba gamo cho....' teNe mAro hAtha pakaDI lIdho. jANe ke sAco hastameLApa e ja vakhate thayo! jANe ke ene managamatuM badhuM ja maLI gayuM! 'paNa tane mahelamAM rahevuM gamaze, RSidattA?' meM enI AMkhomAM AMkho parovIne pUchyuM. 'kema nahIM phAve? jyAM tame hazo tyAM mane phAvaze ja.... mane tamArI pAse ja rAkhazo ne?' teNe be hAthe mAro jamaNo hAtha pakaDI lIdho... potAnuM mukha hAtha para TekavI dIdhuM. For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 29 'tane mArI pAse ja rAkhIza. ApaNo suMdara mahela che. tane mahela nahIM game to Avo majAno Azrama banAvI daIzuM tyAM!' 'tame mahelamAM rahelA cho, tamane AzramamAM nahIM phAve. mane mahelamAM phAvI jaze.... paNa ...' 'paNa zuM?' 'mArI eka icchA pUrI karazo?' 'eka nahIM, badhI ja!' 'ApaNe ahIMthI jaIe tyAre mArI haraNa-haraNInI joDIne sAthe laI jaIzuM?' 'oho! sarasa! mane paNa e joDI gamI gaI che.... kevAM bhoLAM.... kevAM suMdara ne premALa che e haraNa-haraNI! ApaNe emane ApaNI sAthe ja laI jaIzuM....' jo ApaNe sAthe na laI jaIe ne to....' bolatAM bolatAM RSidattAnI AMkho AMsuothI UbharAvA lAgI.... gaLagaLA svare bolI : 'mArA vinA e jIvI ja na zake....' e mArA hAthane paMpALavA lAgI. 'huM jANuM chuM tAro e joDalA sAtheno prema! premIono viyoga karAvavAnuM pApa huM nahIM karuM.' 'kumAra.... tame bahu sArA cho!' 'ane tuM?' eNe mArA moDhA upara potAnI komaLa hatheLI dAbI dIdhI. aMdhAruM thaI gayuM hatuM. maMdiramAM AratIno samaya thaI gayo hato. ame Azrama tarapha cAlavA mAMDayuM. AzramanA hAre rAjarSi amArI rAha jotA UbhA hatA. ame pahoMcyAM eTale amArI sAthe teo paNa maMdiramAM AvyA. RSidattAe nityakrama mujaba AratI taiyAra karI ane dIvA saLagAvI rAjarSine ApI. meM zaMkhanAda karavA mAMDyo. RSidattAe madhura svare AratI bolavA mAMDI, bhagavAna RSabhadevanI manohara mUrti Aje mane khUba vahAlI lAgI.... meM dharAI dharAIne darzana karyAM. For Private And Personal Use Only

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RSidattA sAthe lagna karyAne eka mahino vItI gayo hato. AzramamAM mane phAvI gayuM hatuM. covIse kalAka RSidattA mArI pAse rahetI. rAjarSi harirSaNanuM vAtsalyapUrNa sAnnidhya hatuM. havAmAna khuzanumAM hatuM. kudaratanuM apAra sauMdarya hatuM. vRkSonI jhUlatI DALIo, nirdoSa kriIDA karatAM haraNo, AkAzamAM UDatAM raMgaberaMgI paMkhIo, khaLakhaLa vahetAM pANInAM jharaNAM... mukta mana ane mukta AkAza.... svarganAM sukho paNa AvAM nahIM hoya, ema mane lAgyuM. paraMtu manamAM kacavATa kaho athavA du:kha kaho, eka ja vAtanuM hatuM... rAjarSi haripeNanA mukha upara dinapratidina udAsInatA vadhatI jatI hatI. teo vadhu samaya paramAtmA RSabhadevanA maMdiramAM bhaktibhAvamAM ane dhyAnamAM vitAvatA hatA. mArI sAthe ane RSidattA sAthe kAma pUratI ja vAta karatA hatA. alabatta, amArA baMne pratye teonI AMkhomAM sneha vartAto hato. mane vicAratAM vicAratAM ema samajAyuM ke teo potAnA manane vadhu ne vadhu virakta banAvI rahyA hatA. RSidattA sAthe baMdhAyelI mamatAne toDavA teo mathI rahyA hoya, ema mane lAgyuM. temanA manamAM "putrI rAjakumArane paraNI che, e kaMI ahIM kAyama na rahe.. have emane vidAya ApavI joIe.. paNa RSidattA vinAnA AzramamAM...' A vicAra ghoLAto hovo joIe. bhale teoe RSinuM jIvana aMgIkAra karyuM hatuM, paraMtu AzramamAM AvyA pachI temane satata neha, vAtsalya ane mamatAnuM ja jIvana jIvavuM paDyuM hatuM. teo eka RSinA jIvanamAM hoya tevI virakti, udAsInatA, kaThoratA.. keLavI zakyA na hatA. varSothI RSidattAne temaNe prema ane vAtsalyanA amRtapyAlA pAyA hatA..... varSono A abhyAsa teone atyAre duHkhI karI rahyo hoya, ema mane lAgyuM. teo potAnA mananI vAta nahotA karatA, paraMtu emano jIvana-vyavahAra ghaNuM ghaNuM bolato hato! eka divasa madhyAhunanuM bhojana karIne huM AzramamAM azoka vRkSanI chAyAmAM eka ghAsanI caTAI para ADo paDyo hato. RSidattA paNa thoDe dUra beThI beThI haraNa-haraNInA joDalA sAthe AnaMda-pramoda karI rahI hatI, tyAM rAjarSi dhIme pagale AvI pahoMcyA. huM Ubho thaI gayo. RSidattA paNa pAse AvI gaI. For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 31 rAjarSi mArI pAtharelI ghAsanI caTAI para besI gayA. mane ane RSidattAne teoe potAnI pAse besADyAM. ha2Na-haraNI amArI AsapAsa doDavA lAgyAM. rAjarSie mArA baMne hAtha potAnA hAthamAM lIdhA hatA. teo Aje koI vAta kahevA ja AvyA hatA, ema mane lAgyuM. ane teoe kahyuM : 'kumAra, tame suvinIta cho. mArI AMtarecchAne tame anusarI rahyA cho. rAjamahelane choDI tame A dhULa bharelA AzramamAM mArA mATe ja rahyA cho, tamAro moTo upakAra....' meM temanA mukha para hAtha dAbI dIdho ane kahyuM : 'he kRpALu, Apa AvuM na bolo. mane ahIM rAjamahela yAda paNa nathI Avato. rAjamahela karatAM paNa vizeSa AnaMda huM ahIM anubhavI rahyo chuM. ApanuM punita sAnnidhya sukhanI varSA karI rahyuM che.' rAjarSinI AMkho sajala banI. teo gadgad svare bolyA : 'kumAra, sAce ja RSidattAnAM anaMta puNya jAgyAM ke tame ene maLI gayA. tame vanamAM janmelI ane vanamAM UcharelI A kanyAno svIkAra karIne enA upara to upakAra ja karyo che, paraMtu mane paNa tame moTo saMtoSa Apyo che. mane ciMtArahita karyo che...' teonI AMkhomAMthI be AMsu jamIna para paDyAM. meM mArA uttarIya vastrathI temanI AMkho lUchI. teo hAthane paMpALatAM bolyA : 'kumAra, tame guNavAna cho eTale RSidattA mATe tamane bhalAmaNa karavAnI jarUra nathI, chatAM pitAnuM haiyuM che ne.... eTale be vAto kahuM chuM. meM kyAreya A mArI dIkarIne dhikkArI nathI, tiraskArI nathI. ene dhikkAra ane tiraskAra eTale zuM, enI paNa khabara nathI. mATe tame kyAreya ene dhikkArazo nahIM. enA komaLa hRdayane dubhAvazo nahIM. rAjamahelanI putravadhUmAM je kArya-kuzaLatA joIe, je dakSatA joIe, te enAmAM nathI, kaLAomAM e nipuNa nathI.... evI mArI dIkarI meM tamane soMpI che.... enuM tame tamArA prANanI jema jatana karajo....' vayovRddha ati kRza kAyAvALA rAjarSi codhAra AMsue raDI paDyA. huM ane RSidattA paNa raDI paDyAM. haraNa ane hariNI.... RSidattAnA mukhane cATavA lAgyAM.... vRkSa upara beThelAM paMkhIono kalarava baMdha thaI gayo. tUTelA avAje rAjarSi bolavA lAgyA : 'kumAra, tamArA sahavAsathI te kaLAsaMpanna thaze, dakSa banaze. e suzIlA che, suvinItA che.... e tamane paramAtmAtulya mAnIne pUjaze. tamArI AjJAnuM yathArtha pAlana karaze... chatAMya vanavAsinI che ne... For Private And Personal Use Only

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32 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM kyAreka bhUla thaI jAya to kSamA karI dejo.' teo thAkI gayA hatA. ATaluM bolIne teo mauna thaI gayA. mAruM hRdaya eTaluM bharAI gayuM hatuM ke huM khUba muzkelIthI bolI zakyo. meM kahyuM : Acharya Shri Kailassagarsuri Gyanmandir 'hai tAtapAda, Apa zA mATe A badhI vAto atyAre karo cho? ame ahIM ja chIe ne? ApanI pAse ja chIe.' 'nA, nA, kumAra, have tame RSidattAne laIne 2thamardana nagare padhAro. have mArA mATe tamAre ahIM rahevAnuM nathI.... huM mArA mArge jaIza....' huM kSaNabhara mUMjhAyo. meM RSidattA sAme joyuM, e paNa mUMjhAyelI hatI. meM kahyuM : 'Apa kyAM jazo? A avasthAmAM have Ape sthAnAMtara na karavuM joIe. Apane vAMdho na hoya to Apa paNa amArI sAthe rathamardana padhAro. tyAM ApanA mATe udyAnamAM kuTira taiyAra karAvIza. ApanI icchA haze to tyAM navuM jinamaMdira baMdhAvIza....' 'kumAra, have mAre konA mATe jIvavAnuM che? huM to ATaluM paNa AnA (RSidattA tarapha hAtha karIne) mATe jIvI rahyo chuM. have ene tamane soMpI dIdhI, mAre have jIvavAnuM koI prayojana nathI....' 'eTale?' huM gabharAI gayo hato. 'eTale have huM agnipraveza karavA icchuM chuM.' 'haiM?' huM ane RSidattA cIsa pADI UThyAM. 'hA, mArA jevA mATe jIvana karatAM mRtyu ja zreSTha che....' 'nA, nA, ema na ja karAya, tAta....' RSidattA codhAra AMsu vahAvatI pitAnA khoLAmAM mAthuM nAMkhI raDI paDI. raDatI raDatI te kahI rahI : 'mArA upara karuNA karo.... dayA karo.... he tAta, mane tarachoDI na Mail....' 'beTI, ema na bola. mArI hitazikSA sAMbhaLa. pUjyonI sevA karaje. zIlanuM pAlana karaje . sahapatnI pratye roSa na karIza. sukhamAM ke duHkhamAM kyAreya pApa na AcarIza. dharmaniSTha raheje,' rAjarSinA nirNaye mane kartavyamUDha banAvI dIdho. huM muninAM caraNomAM paDI gayo. 'he pUjya, prANatyAganI vAta paNa na karazo. koI paNa saMyogomAM huM prANatyAga nahIM karavA dauM.' For Private And Personal Use Only

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33 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM rAjarSie mane svastha karatAM kahyuM : "kumAra, tame mArA zarIra sAme to juo. have A dehamAM zuM rahyuM che? ane have mAre konA mATe jIvavAnuM che? mArA sukha mATe, mArA svArtha mATe huM tamane ahIM jaMgalamAM jakaDI rAkhavA nathI mAgato.' "paraMtu ApaghAta to kema ja karAya, kRpAvaMta?" "mArA mATe have bIjo koI mArga nathI, kumAra, mane asamAdhi thavAnI nathI. meM deha ane AtmAnuM bhedajJAna dRDha kareluM che. AtmAnI ajaratA ane amaratAnI mane pratIti thayelI che..." nA bApu.... nA bApu... Apane agnipraveza nahIM karavA dauM. mArA para dayA kara...' AMsuothI bhIMjAI gayelA mukhe karuNa rudana karatI RSidattA rAjarSine lapeTAI gaI, meM mArI pAchaLa joyuM to eka ghAsanI jhUMpaDImAM Aga lAgI hatI. e jhUMpaDImAM AzramanAM lAkaDAM bharelAM hatAM. AganI jvALAo UMcI jatI hatI.... mane turta khyAla AvI gayo ke ahIM amArI pAse AvatAM pahelAM rAjarSie ja tyAM Aga peTAvelI hovI joIe. huM e bhaDabhaDatI Aga tarapha joI rahyo hato, tyAM rAjarSie mane kahyuM : 'kumAra, RSidattAne saMbhALo, e koI duHsAhasa na karI bese.' chAtI phATa rudana karatI RSidattAne meM mArA ullaMgamAM lIdhI. rAjarSi UbhA thayA. be hAtha joDI, AkAza sAme joI paMca-parameSThI navakAra maMtrano dhIra gaMbhIra dhvanimAM pATha karyo.... AMkho baMdha karI.... ane tvarita gatie bhaDabhaDatI AgamAM kUdI paDyA..... - RSidattAe bhAna khoI nAMkhyuM hatuM. meM ene chAMyAmAM suvADI ane amArA AvAsamAM jaIne pANI laI Avyo. meM RSidattA para zItala pANIno chaMTakAva karavA mAMDyo..... haraNIe RSidattAnA mukhane cATavA mAMDyuM.... uttarIya vastrathI meM pavana nAMkhavA mAMDyo.... thoDI vAra pachI eNe potAnI AMkho kholI.. ane "he tAta! he tAta! agnipraveza na karo.." bolatI te UbhI thaI ane Aga tarapha jyAM paga upADyA, meM ene pakaDI lIdhI. huM enA karuNa rudanathI raDI paDyo... mArA khoLAmAM enuM mastaka laI, paMpALavA lAgyo. e bolatI hatI : "hA... hA... pitAjI, tame A zuM karyuM? have huM anAtha thaI gaI... mAtAne For Private And Personal Use Only

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34. pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM to meM joI ja nahotI... he tAta, tame ja mArI mAtA hatA..... mAruM sarvasva hatA.... he tAta. tame A zuM karyuM....?' huM RSidattAne upADIne amArI kuTiramAM laI Avyo. tenA astavyasta thaI gayelA vALa ThIka karyA. AMsuothI kharaDAyeluM enuM mukha pANIthI dhoI nAMkhyuM. ene mArI komaLa zayAmAM suvADI, huM enI pAse beTho. mane lAgyuM ke atyAre mAre ene pUrI sAttvanA ApavI joIe. enA ghavAyelA hRdayane khUba paMpALavuM joIe...." jarAya nahIM dhArelI evI ati du:khada ghaTanA kSaNomAM banI gaI hatI.... AzramamAM agninI jvALAo dUrathI joIne mArA sainiko paNa AzramamAM AvI gayA hatA. mane ane RSidattAne vilApa karatAM joIne, temane kaMIka amaMgaLanI AzaMkA thaI ja hatI. senApatie dhIme pagale mArI pAse AvIne, mArA kAnamAM pUchyuM paNa kharuM. meM senApatine saMkSepamAM banelI ghaTanA kahI saMbhaLAvI. senApatinI AMkho paNa bhInI thaI gaI. vaja hRdayanA sainiko paNa rAjarSinA agnipravezanI vAta jANI, raDI paDyA. mane lAgyuM ke "RSidattA mATe A vAtAvaraNa vadhu vedanA ApanAruM banyuM che.' meM sainikone chAvaNImAM mokalI dIdhA. meM mAruM dhyAna RSidarA tarapha kendrita karyuM. devI! have tAre zoka na karavo joIe, tArA pitAjIe pUrvAvasthA rAjA tarIke vitAvI hatI ane uttarAvasthA vratadhArI RSi tarIke vitAvI, temaNe potAnuM AtmakalyANa sAdhI lIdhuM che. temanI pAchaLa kalpAMta na karavo joIe.' meM RSidattAnA mastake mAro hAtha pheravavA mAMDyo. tenAM DUsakAM ochAM thavA lAgyo. tenI AMkho sUjhI gaI hatI. mukha plAna thaI gayuM hatuM... ghora udAsInatAe, apAra vivazatAe ene bhAMgI nAMkhI hatI.... dhIre dhIre teNe mArI sAme... mArI AMkho sAthe AMkho milAvI. meM kahyuM : RSidanA, zuM tane mArA upara vizvAsa nathI? zuM huM tane nathI cAhato? mArA zabdo snehathI bhInA bhInA hatA. teNe mArA be hAtha pakaDI laIne mAthuM halAvIne hA pADI... tenA hoTha sukAtA hatA. meM pANIno pyAlo Apyo; te beThI thaI ane potAnA hAthe mArA moDhe pyAlo lagADyo. meM be ghUMTaDA pANI pIdhuM, pachI eNe pANI pIdhuM. pANI pIne teNe mArA khoLAmAM mastaka mUkI dIdhuM. huM enA mastakane paMpALato rahyo... For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 35 bIjA divase ame rAjarSinI uttarakriyA karI. je sthaLe temaNe dehotsarga karyo hato, te jagAe eka stUpa banAvavA meM senApatine AjJA karI. senApatie turta ja mArI AjJAno amala karyo. stUpanirmANanuM kArya AraMbhI dIdhuM. huM RSidattAne laI 5ramAtmA RSabhadevanA maMdiramAM gayo. paramAtmAnAM darzana karatAM karatAM ja RSidattA raDI paDI.... tenA jIvanamAM A pahelo ja divasa hato.... ke e rAjarSi-pitA vinA maMdiramAM AvI hatI! varSothI e pitAnI sAthe ja paramAtmAnAM darzana-pUjana-stavana karatI hatI. meM RSidattAne kahyuM : 'devI! prabhu kevA nirvikAra che! vItarAga che! ApaNe paNa AvA ja nirvikAra banavAnuM che. rAgarahita, dveSarahita banavAnuM che... ApaNe prabhune prArthanA karIe ke ApaNane prabhu evA banAve!' meM madhura svare prArthanA zarU karI. RSidattA paNa sAthe prArthanA bolavA mAMDI. ame ThIka ThIka samaya prArthanAmAM pasAra karyo, prArthanA karIne ame maMdiranI bahAra AvyAM. haraNa-haraNInuM joDaluM taiyAra ja hatuM. RSidattA sAthe lADa karavA lAgI gayuM. 'nAtha, A joDalAne ApaNe sAthe laI jaIzuM ne?' teNe pUchyuM. 'hA, e tArA vinA jIvI nahIM zake! ApaNe sAthe ja laI jaIzuM.' RSidattAnA mukha para prasannatA chavAI gaI. mane AMtiraka AnaMda thayo. AvAsamAM AvIne eNe mArA mATe dUdha ane phaLa taiyAra karyAM. mane khyAla hato ke Aje e khAvAmAM AnAkAnI karaze! eNe AnAkAnI karI ja. paraMtu meM kahyuM : 'tuM upavAsa kare to huM paNa upavAsa karIza. ApaNe je kaMI karavAnuM te sAthe ja karavAnuM...' eNe potAno Agraha tyajI dIdho ane mane bhojana karAvIne pachI eNe bhojana karyuM. bhojana karyA pachI meM kahyuM : 'have tArI icchA hoya tyAre, ApaNe ApaNA nagare javA prayANa karIe.' teNe kahyuM : 'have ApaNe jaladI ahIMthI cAlyAM jaIe.... have mane ahIM jarAya gamatuM nathI. bApu vinAno Azrama.... kharuM kahuM? smazAna lAge che....' meM senApatine bolAvIne, rathamardana javAnI taiyArIo karavAno Adeza Apyo. For Private And Personal Use Only

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RSidattAe jyAM rathamAM paga mUkyA, te dhrusake dhrusake raDI paDI. jo meM ene pakaDI lIdhI na hota, to e paDI jAta. e enI janmabhUmine choDI enA mATe ajANI duniyAmAM AvI rahI hatI ne! enI prasannatA mATe meM haraNa ane haraNInA joDalAne sAthe ja lIdhuM hatuM. meM ene khuba sAttvanA ApI. mArA uttarIya vastrathI enAM AMsu lUchayAM. e kaMIka svastha thaI eTale ame prayANa AraMbhI dIdhuM. mArA hRdayamAM RSidattA pratye jema prema hato, tema karuNA paNa hatI. rAjarSie enA mATe karelI lAgaNIbharelI bhalAmaNo mane barAbara yAda hatI. joke RSidattAnuM vyaktitva ja eTaluM mohaka hatuM ke mane kyAreya enA pratye aNagamo thAya, e zakya na hatuM. mArgamAM ame jyAM jyAM rokAtAM hatAM, paDAva nAMkhatAM hatAM, tyAM tyAM RSidattA potAnI sAthe lIdhelAM keTalAMka phaLane vAvatI hatI! meM AzramamAM paNa joyeluM ke ene vRkSAropaNa karavAnuM khUba gamatuM hatuM. meM ene pUcheluM paNa kharuM. ke "A kyAM phaLa che?' eNe kahyuM : "A "sadAphaLa" vRkSanAM phaLa che ane mane khUba game che." e je tanmayatAthI vRkSAropaNa karatI hatI. huM joI raheto hato. mane khUba AnaMda thato hato. meM ene kaheluM : "RSidattA, rAjamahelamAM AvuM vRkSAropaNa karavAnuM nahIM maLe!" eNe pratyuttara Apyo : "eTale mane mArgamAM peTa bharIne vRkSAropaNa karI levA do!' ane eNe mArI sAme kevI nirdoSa AMkhothI joyuM hatuM! Ameya e mRganayanA hatI. enI AMkhomAM kharekhara kAmaNa hatuM. jema jema rathamadana nagara najIka AvatuM hatuM, tema tema mArA manamAM mAtAnA ane pitAjInA vicAro vadhu AvatA hatA. "zuM mAtA nArAja to nahIM thAya ne? zuM pitAjI roSe to nahIM bharAya ne?kAverI javAnuM mArI icchAthI ja mAMDavALa karyuM hatuM. RSidattA sAthe lagna paNa meM mArI icchAthI ja karyA hatAM. mArA jIvanamAM A rIte mAtA-pitAne pUchyA vinA mArI icchAthI mahattvanA nirNaya karyA hatA. mArI AjJAMkitatA mane thoDIka ciMtita karatI hatI. mAtA-pitAnI nArAjI mArA jevA AjJAMkita rAjakumArane posAya ema na hatI.... bIjI citA to mane na hatI, paraMtu jo pitAjI AjJA karI de ke For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 37 "mAre A RSikanyA putravadhU nathI joItI...' to zuM thAya? kSaNavAra to mAruM hRdaya cacarI UThyuM. meM RSidattA sAme joI lIdhuM... paraMtu e to jaMgalanI naisargika zobhA jovAmAM tallIna hatI. meM turta mArI dRSTi pAchI kheMcI lIdhI. mArA manamAM eka samAdhAna ja DI gayuM.... huM mAtAnA caraNomAM mastaka mUkIne, pitAjIne manAvI levA mAtAne kahIza. karuNAmayI mAtA jarUra mArI vAta mAnaze. ene to RSidattA jotAM ja gamI jaze! mAtAnA saMrakSaNa vicAre mane A zasta karyo. mane mAtAnA vicAro AvavA lAgyA. "mAtA RSidattAne rAjamahelanI jIvanapaddhati khUba premathI zIkhavADI deze. RSidattA koI bhUla karaze to paNa mAtA gusse nahIM ja thAya.. joke A mugdhA kanyAne jotAM ja gusso Avyo hoya to paNa UtarI jAya evo che....... ane vaLI meM RSidattA sAme joyuM! e vakhate RSidanAnI dRSTie mane pakaDI pADyo. teNe mane kahyuM : 'A sAme dekhAya te rathamardana nagara che ne nAtha?' hA, e ja ApaNuM nagara che!' e nagara tarapha ekITase joI rahI hatI. huM enI sAme joI rahyo hato. rathanA azvonI gati vadhI rahI hatI.... jANo azvo paNa potAnA nagarane oLakhI gayA hatA! bahu thoDA samayamAM ame nagaranA bAhya pradezamAM pahoMcI gayAM. tyAM to amAruM svAgata karavA maMtrImaMDaLa ane hajAro nagarajano amArI rAha jotA UbhelAM hatAM. amArA pahoMcatAM lokoe jayadhvani karavA mAMDyo. sahunI najara RSidattA tarapha jatI hatI. mane lAgyuM ke sahu loko RSidattAne joIne rAjI thayA che. mArA manamAM AnaMda thayo. mahAmaMtrIe mArI kuzaLatA pUchI. meM khUba namratAthI pratyuttara Apyo. tyAra pachI khUba dhAmadhUmathI amAro nagarapraveza thayo. nagaramAM Thera Thera prajAjano amane umaLakAthI vadhAvatA hatA. RSidattAnA mukha upara prasannatA hatI. mAruM citta paNa AnaMdita thayuM hatuM. ame rAjamahele pahoMcyAM. nagarajanone be hAtha joDI abhivAdana karyuM, ane RSidattA sAthe meM mahelamAM praveza karyo. Ama to huM sIdho pitAjI pAse ja jAta, paraMtu RSidattAne saMkoca na thAya eTalA mATe ame pahelAM mAtAnI pAse gayAM. meM mAtAnAM caraNe praNAma karyA. RSidattAe paNa mAruM anukaraNa karyuM. mAtAe amArA baMnenA mAthe hAtha mUkIne hRdayanAM heta varasAvyAM. RSidattAne to mAtAe potAnA khoLAmAM ja laI lIdhI.... vAraMvAra enA mukha sAme jovA lAgI.... ane premathI ene bhIMjavI nAMkhI! RSidattA khUba zaramAI gaI hatI.... mAtAe ene ja pUchuyuM : For Private And Personal Use Only

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38 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM beTI, tane kyA nAmathI bolAvuM?" 'RSidattA" nIcI dRSTie ne natamastake eNe javAba Apyo. meM mAtAne kahyuM : huM pitAjInAM caraNe namaskAra karI AvuM mA!' RSidattAne paNa sAthe laI jA...." mAtAnA nehabharyA vyavahArathI mana nirbhaya thaI gayuM hatuM. pitAjI pAse javAno saMkoca rahyo na hato. pitAjInA khaMDamAM ame praveza karyo. pitAjI prasannacitta hatA. meM jaIne emanAM caraNe praNAma karyA. RSidattAe paNa praNAma karyA. pitAjIe amArA baMnenA mastake hAtha mUkI AzIrvAda ApyA. mAro hAtha pakaDI emanI pAse besADyo.... meM RSidattAne AMkhonA izArAthI mAtAnI pAse pahoMcI javA jaNAvI dIdhuM. turta ja pitAjI bolyA : beTI, have A mahela tAruM ghara che. sukhI thAo... RSidattAe mastaka namAvIne pitAjIne namaskAra karyA. ane dhIme pagale natamastake te khaMDamAMthI bahAra nIkaLI gaI. pitAjI ene jatI joI rahyA hatA. enA gayA pachI teoe mArI sAme joyuM ane bolyA : vatsa, amarAvatInA mahArAjA haripheNa mArA paricita hatA. rAjyano tyAga karIne rANI prItimati sAthe temaNe AzramavAsa svIkArelo, te huM jANato hato. eTale A kanyA rAjakanyA ja che. enI mukhAkRti kahe che ke mArI putravadhU suzIla che. jevuM rUpa che tevA ja guNa che.' - huM natamastake, dRSTi jamIna para sthApIne sAMbhaLI rahyo hato. pitAjInA zabdo sAMbhaLIne mane avarNanIya AnaMda thayo. kharekhara mane 'RSidattA puNyazAlinI strI che.' e vAtano nirNaya thayo. pitAjIe mane koI ja upAlaMbha na Apyo... "teM mane kaMI puchAvyuM paNa nahIM? kAverI kema na gayo? kAverIpati mArA pratye kevA nArAja thaze? te ayogya pagaluM kema bharyuM...?' AvuM kaMI ja na bolyA. RSidattAnI prazaMsA karI. eTaluM ja nahIM, paraMtu mane zikhAmaNa ApI ke : beTA, RSikanyA che, rAjamahelanI rItabhAtathI TevAtAM vAra lAgaze... enA para gusso na karIza.... sAva mugdhA che....' pitAjI pAsethI AvA saujanyabharyA vyavahAranI koI AzA na hatI! ane saujanyabharyo vyavahAra jovA maLyo, tethI mArA hRdayamAM teonA pratye AdarabhAva vadhI gayo. For Private And Personal Use Only

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39 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM haju mAre dainika kartavyothI pa2vA2vAnuM bAkI hatuM. pitAjInI anumati laI huM sIdho mAtAnI pAse pahoMcyo. mane jotAM ja RSidattAe ciMtita AMkhe mArI sAme joyuM, meM pUchyuM : 'kema?' 'ApaNuM ha2Na-ha2NInuM joDaluM kyAM....?' 'hA! ahIM maMgAvI lauM?' meM hasIne pUchyuM. mAtAne kaMI samajAyuM nahIM eTale eNe jijJAsAthI mArI sAme joyuM. meM mAtAne kahyuM : 'ame AzramamAMthI eka sarasa haraNa-haraNInuM joDuM sAthe laI AvyAM chIe. mA tane paNa e gamI jaze!' 'ema? kyAM che e haraNa-haraNI? mahelanA ja pAchaLanA bagIcAmAM ene rAkhIzuM... kema beTI?' mAe RSidattAne pUchyuM. RSidattAe mAthuM namAvIne potAnI saMmati ApI dIdhI. meM dAsIne sUcanA ApI. dAsI haraNa-haraNIne levA cAlI gaI ane RSidattAne laI huM mArA AvAsamAM pahoMcI gayo. snAnAdithI nivRtta thaI ame beThAM ja hatAM, tyAM mAtAe bhojana mATe bolAvyAM. 'tamArI mAtA keTalAM premALa che! mane khUba gamI gayAM....' RSidattA mAro hAtha pakaDIne, mArI sAme joIne bolI. 'tArI vAta sAcI che. mAtA to vAtsalyanI gaMgA che!' ame bhojana mATe pahoMcI gayAM. huM jamavA beTho. RSidattA mAtAnI pAse jaIne beThI, mAtAe ene mArI sAthe jamI levA kahyuM, paNa eNe nA pADI. eNe mAtAnI sAthe bhojana karavAno Agraha rAkhyo. mAtAe eno Agraha mAnya rAkhyo. meM mAtAne kahyuM : 'e enA haraNa-ha2NIne jAte lIluMchama dhAsa khavaDAvaze, tyAre ja ene bhojana bhAvaze! mATe pahelAM e kAma kara!' mAtAe RSidattAnA mukha para potAno premALa hAtha pheravyo ane prasannavadane kahyuM : 'beTI, pazumAM paNa ApaNA jevo ja AtmA vase che, enA sukha-duHkhano vicAra ApaNe karavo ja joIe.... Aje to huM paNa tArI sAthe AvIza. ApaNe baMne e joDalAne khavaDAvIzuM!' RSidattAnI AMkhomAM harSanAM AMsu AvI gayAM. mAe potAnA vastrathI enAM AMsu lUchyAM. bhojanathI nivRtta thaIne meM vizrAma karavAnuM vicAryuM. RSidattA mAtAnI sAthe hatI. huM zayanagRhamAM pahoMcyo. dIrgha yAtrAno thAka hato. palaMgamAM paDatAMnI For Private And Personal Use Only

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40. pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM sAthe ja ghasaghasATa UMghI gayo. divasano trIjo prahara pUro thaI gayo hato. jyAre huM jAgyo, RSidattA mArA palaMga pAse ja jamIna para beThelI hatI..... e khUba praphullita hatI. eNe mane pANI ApyuM. meM pANI pIdhuM ane pUchyuM : 'tuM ahIM kyAranI beThI che?' hamaNAM ja AvI! mAtAe mane Akho mahela batAvyo.. pelA haraNaharaNIne joIne mAtA eTalAM badhAM rAjI thaI gayAM ke haraNIne to chAtIe lagADIne khUba prema karyo! emanA mATe bagIcAmAM meM sarasa jagA pasaMda karI che... ApaNA AvAsamAMthI emane joI zakIe.. cAlo, tamane batAvuM....' mAro hAtha pakaDI mane e eka jharUkhAmAM laI gaI. jharUkhAmAMthI teNe ramatAMkhIlatAM haraNa-haraNI batAvyAM. mAruM mana prasanna thaI gayuM. meM ene kahyuM : RSi, ApaNe mAtA pAse jaIe.... e mArI rAha jotI haze...!" hA, mane kahyuM hatuM mAtAe, e jAge eTale mane kahI jaje... huM to kahevAnuM ja bhUlI gaI!' kyAM bhUlI gaI che? mane kahI dIdhuM! haju hamaNAM ja huM jAgyo chuM ne!' "to huM kahI AvuM?" nA, ApaNe ja jaIe..." huM AvuM?' tAre vizrAma karavo che? "nA, paNa mAtAne tamArI sAthe koI vAta.....' huM hasI paDyo. enA mananI vAta huM samajI gayo. meM ene kahyuM ke "evo saMkoca na rAkhIza RSi, tuM ne huM judAM nathI....' eNe mArI chAtImAM mukha chupAvI dIdhuM. ame baMne mAtAnI pAse pahoMcyAM. mAtAnI pAse moTA gharanI ATha-dasa strIo beThelI hatI. mAtAnI pAse paDelA bhadrAsana para huM besI gayo. RSi mAtAnAM caraNomAM jamIna para besI gaI. maLavA AvelI strIoe mArI kuzaLatA pUchI ane AvI rUparUpanA aMbAra jevI patnI maLavA badala abhinaMdana ApyAM. te strIoe RSidattAnA rUpanI evI prazaMsA karavA mAMDI ke RSei zaramAI gaI.... ane tyAMthI UbhI thaIne bhAgavA lAgI! mA hasI paDI ane RSino hAtha pakaDI potAnA khoLAmAM chupAvI dIdhI. saMdhyAkAlIna bhojanano samaya thayo hovAthI AgaMtuka strIo mAtAne praNAma karIne cAlI gaI. For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 41 mAtAe mArI sAme joyuM. mA khUba prasanna hatI. jANe RSidattA sAthe janamajanamanI prIta hoya tema mAtA RSine cAhavA lAgI hatI. mA have mArI sAthe zAMtithI vAto ka2vA icchatI hatI. teNe dAsIne kahI dIdhuM ke 'have koIne maLavA mATe AvavA na daIza.' mAtAne, huM 2thamardanathI kAverI javA nIkaLyo, tyAMthI mAMDIne badhI ja vArtA sAMbhaLavAnI jijJAsA hatI. ane jijJAsA svAbhAvika hatI.... meM athathI iti sudhInI badhI ja vAta kahI saMbhaLAvI.... jyAre meM rAjarSi hariSaNanA agnipravezanI vAta karI.... mAtAnI AMkhomAMthI AMsu TapakavA lAgyAM. RSidattA paNa mAtAnA khoLAmAM mukha chupAvIne raDI rahI hatI.... mAro svara paNa gadgada thaI gayo hato. meM turta ja vAta badalI nAMkhI. gaMbhIra banI gayelA vAtAvaraNane haLavuM karavA prayatna karyo. badhI vAto sAMbhaLyA pachI mAnA hRdayamAM RSidattA pratye vAtsalya vadhI gayuM hatuM. sAMjanA bhojanano samaya thaI gayo hato. RSidattA rAtribhojana nahotI karatI eTale meM mAtAne kahyuM : 'mA, A tArI putravadhU rAtribhojana nathI karatI!' 'bahu sAruM beTA, have tAre paNa rAtribhojanano tyAga thaI jaze ne!' 'tane bhojana karAvyA vinA e bhojana nahIM kare ne!' RSidattAe mArI sAme joyuM.... meM bhojananI vAta karI, e ene na gamI hoya ema lAgyuM. mArA mukha para smita AvI gayuM. mA RSine laIne rasoIghara tarapha cAlI gaI. dAsIe AvIne samAcAra ApyA ke mArA mitro mArI rAha jotA bahAra UbhA che. huM jhaDapathI mitro pAse pahoMcyo. mitro sAthe thoDIka aupacArika vAto karI, tyAM to bhojana mATe nimaMtraNa AvI gayuM! dAsI AvIne kahI gaI. pitAjI paNa bhojana mATe AvI gayA hatA. mitrone pachI maLavAnuM kahI, vidAya ApI, huM bhojanagRhamAM pahoMcyo, pitAjI mArI rAha jotA hatA. ame pitA-putre bhojana karyuM. mAtA pAse besIne Agraha karI karIne bhojana karAvatI hatI. RSi mAtAnI pAchaLa besIne saMkoca sAthe mAtAne sahAya karatI hatI.... vacce vacce te mArI sAme jotI hatI.... te mArI prasannatAno pratipaLa khyAla rAkhatI hatI.... For Private And Personal Use Only

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RSidattAne rAjaparivAranI raheNI-karaNImAM goThavAI jatAM vAra na lAgI. mArI mAtAnuM vAtsalyabharyuM mArgadarzana ene maLatuM hatuM. e mArI mAtAne sAsu nahotI mAnatI, mAtA ja mAnatI hatI. mArI mAtA paNa ene putrI ja mAnatI hatI. 'huM sAsu chuM' evo vicAra paNa mAtAne Avyo nahIM hoya, pachI sAsupaNAno ahaMkAra ene hoya ja kyAMthI? mAtA ane RSidattAnA premabharyA saMbaMdhoe rAjaparivAramAM AnaMdanI vRddhi karI hatI. hasatI-khIlatI RSidattAne joIne mAruM hRdaya prasannatAthI chalakAtuM hatuM. huM haMmezAM e cAhato hato ke 'RSidattAne mAnasika kaSTa paNa na paDavuM joIe.' joke e paNa mArA mATe eTalI ja jAgrata rahetI hatI. eka divasa meM ene pUchyuM : 'RSi, tane Azrama yAda Ave che?' tyAre teNe mane kahyuM : 'ahIM AvIne Azramane to bhUlI ja gaI chuM.... huM naguNI kahevAuM ne? je Azrame mane varSo sudhI AnaMda Apyo, tene huM sAva bhUlI gaI!' tenI moTI moTI AMkhomAM meM pANI joyuM.... mane thayuM ke meM Azrama yAda karAvIne bhUla karI! meM vAta badalavA prayatna karyo. meM kahyuM : 'nA nA, huM e rIte nathI pUchato, huM to e pUchuM che ke tane ahIM rAjamahelamAM koI pratikULatA to nathI ne? koI UNapa lAgatI nathI ne ? teNe bhAvavibhora thaIne kahyuM : 'nAtha, ahIM zAnI UNapa hoya? ahIM zAnI pratikULatA? Apa mArI keTalI kALajI rAkho cho! mAtA kevAM premabharyAM mane maLI gayAM che! mAtA to sAce ja mAtA che..... huM RSidattAnA nisarga premane jANato hato eTale ene laIne huM ghaNI vA2 nagarathI dUra ramaNIya lIlAchama pradezamAM jato hato. khaLakhaLa vahetAM jharaNAMnA kinAre besI e potAnA baMne paga jharaNAMnA pANImAM nacAvatI.... khetaronA UbhA pAkanI vacce doDI jaI chupAI jatI ane mArI pAse zodhAzodha karAvatI.... TekarAo upara doTa mUkIne caDhI jatI.... huM pAchaLa rahI jAuM to e khaDakhaDATa hasI paDatI.... pAchI AvI mArA hAtha pakaDI mane upara laI jatI. emAMya jo koyalanA TahukA sAMbhaLavA maLatA to to e nAcI UThatI! enuM hAsya, enuM nRtya... enuM gIta... mArA hRdayane AnaMdathI bharI detuM. alabatta enI pratyeka For Private And Personal Use Only

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43 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM pravRtti aucityathI bharapUra rahetI. vinaya ane vivekathI sabhara rahetI. paramAtmAnA maMdire e mAtAnI sAthe jatI hatI. vividha raMganAM sugaMdhI puSpothI paramAtmAnI mUrtine e evI to sajAvatI hatI ke mAtAnuM mana pulakita banI jatuM. paramAtmAnI stavanA karatAM to baMne sAsu-vahu bhAvavibhora banI jatAM hatAM. RSidarAnA kaMThamAM evo jAdu bharelo hato. enuM samagra vyaktitva ja jAdubhareluM hatuM, A mAtra mAruM ja kathana che ema nahIM, mAtA ane rAjaparivAranI bIjI vyaktionuM paNa A ja kathana hatuM. RSidattAnA sahavAsamAM A rIte jIvana vyatIta thaI rahyuM hatuM, haju mahinAo paNa vItyA na hatA; je divaso vItyA hatA te paNa eTalI jhaDapathI vItyA hatA ke sahune lAgatuM hatuM : "haju rAjakumAra kAle ja paraNIne ghera Avyo che!" tyAM eka prabhAte na banavAnI ghaTanA banI gaI. haju sUryodaya nahoto thayo, uSAkALa hato, tyAM mahelanI bahAra kaMIka kolAhala saMbhaLAyo. RSidattA nidrAdhIna hatI. huM palaMgamAMthI UThyo ane zayanagRhanA vAtAyanamAMthI bahAra joyuM. rAjamahelanA dvAre mANaso bolI rahyA hatA : "Aje rAtre nagaramAM eka puruSanI hatyA thaI gaI che.' amArA nagaramAM Avo hiMsAno banAva bhAgye ja banato eTale A banAvathI cokIdAro coMkI UThyA hatA. huM AvIne palaMgamAM beTho. meM sUtelI RSidattA sAme joyuM ane camakI gayo.... mArI AMkho pahoLI thaI gaI. RSidarAnuM mukha lohIthI kharaDAyeluM hatuM! enA kapola upara paNa lohInA DAgha hatA. meM dhyAnathI RSidattAnuM mukha joyuM! AjubAju joyuM... to ozIkA pAse mAMsanA TukaDA joyA! mAruM mAthuM bhamavA lAgyuM. mArA manamAM tIvra gatithI vicAro UbharAvA lAgyA. "nagaramAM eka mANasanI hatyA thaI che. bIjI bAju RSidattAnuM mukha lohIthI kharaDAyeluM che ane enA ozIkA pAsethI mAMsanA TukaDA maLI Ave che.... zuM rAtrinA samaye jyAre huM bharanidrAmAM hoIza tyAre A RSidattAe nagaramAM jaIne pelA mANasanI hatyA karI haze? zuM A RSikanyAmAM rAkSasa chupAyo haze? zuM ANe ja hiMsA karI haze? kyAreya meM A strInuM AvuM rUpa joyuM nathI.... ane A kevI rIte banyuM? je kanyAno janma RSinA AzramamAM thayelo che, jeno uchera eka mahAtmA pitAnI chAyAmAM thayelo.... jene janmathI ahiMsA ane satyanA pATha bhaNAvavAmAM For Private And Personal Use Only

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44 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM AvyA chejeNe mane mAMsAhAranAM nukasAno samajAvyAM che.... te strI AvuM hicakAruM kRtya kare kharI? mAruM mana vyagra banI gayuM. pratipakSI vicAro AvavA lAgyA. hA hA, game tema toya strI che ne! strIcaritra hamezAM gahana hoya che. nItizAstramAM kaheluM che : "rupanIrapAyala' sAcI vAta lAge che. AnuM bAhya klevara jema atyaMta rUpavALuM che, teTaluM ja AMtarika rUpa atyaMta bhayAnaka lAge che... A rAkSasI lAge che.... bhayaMkara mAyAvinI lAge che.' je RSidattA mATe, meM ene sarvaprathama joI hatI tyArathI mAMDIne AjanI kSaNa sudhI eka paNa khoTo vicAra nahoto karyo, te RSidattA mATe mArA manamAM kharAbamAM kharAba vicAra AvavA lAgyA.. meM punaH RSidattA sAme joyuM. bhale enA hoTha, kapola, nAka vagere lohInA DAghavALAM hatAM paraMtu enA mukha para saumyatA hatI.... enA mukha para nirbhayatA ane nizcitatA taravaratI hatI... vaLI mane bolavA mAMDyuM... nA, nA, RSidattA AvI nirdaya na hoI zake, krUra na hoI zake, AvuM ghara kRtya A nArI na ja AcarI zake...." manamAMthI e ja prazna UThyo : "to pachI lohIthI mukha kharaDAyuM kevI rIte?" samAdhAna maLatuM nathI.... mana akaLAya che.... mati mUMjhAya che.... tyAM vicAra Avyo : "ene ja pUchI jouM? e zuM kahe che? e atyAra sudhI mArI pAse kyAreya asatya bolI nathI." meM RSidattAne jagADI. zayanagRhano daravAjo baMdha ja hato. eNe AMkho kholI, mArI sAme joyuM. mArA caherA upara eNe kyAreya nahIM joI hoya tevI vikRti joI haze... eTale eNe pUchyuM : "nAtha, Aje ApanA mukha para viSAda kema che?" joke mane enA A praznathI enA para gusso AvI gayo. manamAM huM bolI UThyo : "tuM tAruM moDhuM to jo... viSAda na Ave to bIjuM zuM thAya?' paNa gussAne dabAvIne meM RSidattAne kahyuM : "mAre tane kaMIka pUchavuM che...' teNe kahyuM : "pUchone!" tenI AMkhomAM narI nirdoSatA taravaratI hatI. rAjarSi harirSaNanA kuLamAM utpanna thayelI tuM rAkSasI che?' mAro prazna sAMbhaLIne te bhayabhIta thaI gaI.... eNe potAnA be hAtha mArA mukha upara dAbI dIdhA ane bhInI AMkhe ane ArTa svare te bolI : For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 'nAtha, A tame bolo cho? zuM bolI rahyA cho?' Acharya Shri Kailassagarsuri Gyanmandir 45 'devI, tuM ja tAruM mukha arIsAmAM jo. tAruM mukha lohIthI kharaDAyeluM che ane tArA ozIkA pAse jo.... mAMsanA TukaDA paDelA che.... bIjI bAju Aje rAtre nagaramAM eka puruSanI hatyA thaI gaI che...' RSidattA jhaTa palaMgathI nIce UtarI. arIsAmAM potAnuM mukha joyuM.... ane ozIkA pAse paDelA mAMsanA TukaDA joyA.... te thatharI gaI. kSaNabhara e vicAramAM DUbI gaI.... paNa turta ja svastha banI, khUba dRDhatApUrvaka teNe mane kahyuM : 'mArA nAtha, jo huM mAMsabhakSiNI hota to Apane huM mAMsabhakSaNano niSedha kema karata? huM A banAvamAM sAva ajANa chuM.... kaMI ja jANatI nathI.... mArA koI vidveSIe, mArA ja koI pApakarmathI prerita thaIne A kRtya karyuM lAge che... te chatAM jo Apane mArA pratye aprIti thaI hoya.... to Apa mane zikSA karI zako cho..... e mArI sAme animeSa nayane joI rahI. enA zabdo.... enI AMkho.... enuM vyaktitva.... e badhAMmAM mane saccAI lAgI. mAruM mana bolI UThyuM : 'nA, nA, RSidattA nirdoSa che.... jarU2 koI vidveSI, IrSyALu mANasanuM A kAvataruM che. RSidattAne badanAma karavA ja A kAma koI duSTa mANase karyuM che.' meM turta ja RSidattAne kahyuM : 'tuM nirdoSa che, AvuM pApakRtya tuM na ja kare.... meM khoTI kalpanA karI.... mane kSamA karI de...' RSidattA to UbhI ja rahI hatI.... mArA zabdo eNe sAMbhaLyA ke nahIM, tenI mane khabara na paDI; paNa meM turta ja mArA hAthe ja pANIthI enuM mukha dhoI nAMkhyuM ane mAMsanA TukaDA khALamAM nAMkhI dIdhA. RSidattAnA hRdayanI zuM sthiti thaI haze.... enI kalpanA mane AvavA lAgI. meM enI pAse besIne ene Azvasta karI. enA pratye mArA hRdayamAM have koI zaMkA nathI rahI, e vAta enA manamAM ThasAvavA meM pUro prayatna karyo.... mane lAgyuM ke mAro prayatna saphaLa thayo che. enA mukha upara pUrvavat prasannatA jhaLakI UThI. For Private And Personal Use Only ame jyAre zayanagRhanI bahAra nIkaLyAM, tyAre jANe kaMI ja banyuM nathI, e rIte ja bahAra nIkaLyAM. RSidattA mAtAnI pAse pahoMcI gaI ane huM sIdho pitAjInI pAse gayo. pitAjInA mukha upara ciMtAnI rekhAo UpaselI hatI. prajAvatsala rAjAne prajAjananI hatyAnA samAcArathI du:kha thAya, te svAbhAvika

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46 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM hatuM. mane pitAjIe vAta paNa karI ane hatyArAnI tapAsa cAlu karAvyAnA samAcAra paNa ApyA. meM amArA zayanagRhanI ghaTanAnI vAta pitAjIne ke mAtAne nahIM karavAno nirNaya karyo hato. RSidattAne paNa meM kahI dIdhuM hatuM ke e mAtAne vAta na kare. e sivAya bIjA koIne vAta karavAnI zakyatA enA mATe na hatI. jo e saraLa hRdayathI mAtAne vAta kare to mAtA pitAjIne vAta kare ja. pitAjI e vAtano saMbaMdha nagaramAM thayelI hatyA sAthe joDyA vinA na rahe.. ane to pariNAma kevuM bhayaMkara Ave? RSidarAnI nirdoSatA kAMI ja kabUlavA taiyAra na thAya, RSidattAnI prazaMsA karatAM na dharAtA mANaso paNa ene doSita mAnavA taiyAra thaI ja jAya. are, meM paNa kSaNabhara to RSidattAne doSita mAnI lIdhI hatI ne? ene "rAkSasI' mAnI lIdhI na hatI? to pachI bIjA loko to bicArA mAnI ja le ne! mArA manamAM bIjo prazna UThyo : "AvuM kRtya koNe karyuM haze? zA mATe karyuM haze? RSidattA pratye AvI verabhAvanA konA haiyAmAM jAgI haze? zA mATe jAgI haze? RSidattAe koInuM kaMI bagADyuM nathI. AzramamAM paNa eno koI zatru na hato ane AvI suzIla strIno zatru koNa hoya? meM khUba gaDamathala karI paNa samAdhAna na ja maLyuM. madhyAhnanA bhojana pachI jyAre huM zayanagRhamAM ArAma karavA gayo, tyAre RSidattA mArI pAse AvI. tenA mukha upara sahaja nirdoSatA hatI... chatAM UMDI UMDI koI vedanA meM jANI. meM enA baMne hAtha mArA hAthamAM laI khUba premathI pUchyuM, "RSi, Aje tane mArA vartAvathI khUba du:kha thayuM, nahIM?' emAM Apa zuM karo? mArAM pApakarma udayamAM Ave to ApanAthI paNa evuM vartana thaI jAya! Apane koI doSa nathI. mArA karmano ja doSa che....' nA, nA, tArAM karmo to sArAM che! doSa mAro ja che!' "jo manuSyanAM karma sArAM hoya to ene koI duHkhI na karI zake, ema mArA pitAjI kahetA hatA. mANasanAM potAnAM pUrvabhavomAM upArjita karelAM pApakarmo A bhavamAM udayamAM Ave to ene duHkha Ave che. A vAta mane mArA bApujI ghaNI vAra samajAvatA.' "tArA pitAjIe tane zuM nathI ApyuM? kevuM sarasa tattvajJAna tane ApyuM che! mane paNa tuM e tattvajJAnanI vAta karIza ne?" For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM nA re, mane evI vAto karatAM na AvaDe!" tane AvaDe che.... tArI e vAto sAMbhaLIne mane khUba AnaMda thaze. mane AnaMda nahIM Ape?" nAtha! Apane AnaMda nahIM ApuM to kone ApIza? Apa mane keTalo badho AnaMda Apo cho?" "kyAM ApuM chuM AnaMda? Aje to bhArobhAra viSAda Apyo che.' have e vAta bhUlI jAo... saMsAramAM AvuM badhuM banyA ja kare! paNa eka vAta kahuM?' RSidattAe mArI sAme joyuM ane pUchuyuM. meM saMmatisUcaka mAthuM dhuNAvyuM. teNe kSaNabhara to zayanagRhanA vAtAyana tarapha nIla gaganane joyuM... ane pachI te bolI : prANanAtha, mane lAge che ke mArA koI pUrvajanmanAM pApakarma udayamAM AvyAM che. e sivAya mArI sAthe AvI ghaTanA na bane. khera, huM to je duHkha Avaze te sahI laIza, paraMtu mArI khAtara Apane duHkha sahevAnuM Ave tyAre Apa mAro tyAga....' meM enA mukha upara jamaNo hAtha dAbI dIdho... mArA e hAtha upara enI AMkhomAMthI AMsu TapakI rahyAM hatAM. meM bIjA hAthe enAM AMsu lUchI nAMkhyAM.... mArA gaLe DUmo bharAyo hato. rUMdhAtA svare meM kahyuM : RSi, eno vicAra paNa na karIza..... tArAthI to huM keTalo badho sukhI chuM.. ane tArI khAtara kadAca duHkha sahevAnuM Avaze... to te paNa sukha mAnIne sahIza. "sukhamAM sAtha ane duHkhamAM tyAga" e to adhama mANasonuM kAma che." saraLa... nirdoSa.... ane bhoLI RSikanyA mATe mArA prANa pAtharI devAnI utkaTa lAgaNI mArA haiyAmAM jAgI gaI.. paNa chevaTe lAgaNI ne? lAgaNIo kyAM zAzvat hoya che? kSaNajIvI..... pANInA parapoTA jevI.... For Private And Personal Use Only

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s bIjA divase savAre paNa pahelA divasanI durghaTanAnuM punarAvartana thayuM. meM vahelA jAgIne sarvaprathama RSidattAnuM mukha joyuM. mukha upara pahelA divasanI jema lohInA DAgha hatA ane ozIkA pAse mAMsanA TukaDA hatA. meM sAcavIne RSidattAnA mAthe hAtha mUkIne ene jagADI. eNe paNa UThIne arIsAmAM potAnuM mukha joyuM... ane ozIkA pAse paDelA mAMsanA TukaDA joyA.. enA mukha para glAni thaI AvI. Aje meM ene khUba snehabharyA zabdomAM kahyuM : RSi, koI duSTa tattva ApaNane herAna karavA, badanAma karavA mathI rahyuM che, paNa tuM ciMtA na karIza. paramAtmA RSabhadevanI kRpAthI vipna TaLI jaze." me svayaM pANIthI enuM mukha sApha karyuM ane mAMsanA TukaDA khALamAM nAkhI dIdhA. RSidattA mArI sAme... mArA manane pAmavA.. joI rahI hoya, ema mane lAgyuM. mArA manamAM have koI AzaMkA rahI na hatI. mArA hRdayamAM RSidattA. pratye jarA paNa aprIti thaI rahI na hatI. ene paNa mArA pratye pUrNa vizvAsa hoya, evuM mane lAgyuM. enA manamAM jarA paNa ajaMpo na rahe, evuM huM icchato hato. jyAre huM zayanagRhanI bahAra Avyo tyAre rAjapuruSo pAsethI samAcAra maLyA ke "Aje paNa nagaramAM eka mANasanI hatyA thaI gaI che." mAruM hRdaya dhrujI UThyuM. meM rAjapuruSone kahyuM : "hatyArAne game te rIte pakaDavo joIe. nirdoSa mANasonI hatyA rokavI ja joIe.' mArA manamAM e ja vakhate bIjo vicAra Avyo : mAre rAtrinA samaye jAgrata rahIne jANavuM joIe ke "RSidattAne koNa kalaMkita karavA prayatna kare che. meM rAtre jAgatA rahevAno manomana nirNaya karyo. UMghatA hovAno dekhAva karavAno ane jAgatA rahevAnuM! "je mANasa.... je duSTa tattva nagaravAsInI hatyA kare che, e ja tattva RSidattAnuM mukha lohIthI raMgI jAya che.' ema mane lAgyuM. mane e vyakti asAdhAraNa lAgI. rAjamahelanI cArebAju saMpUrNa sainika-pahero hovA chatAM e vyakti rAjamahelamAM AvI jAya che.... mArA zayanakhaMDamAM pravezI jAya che.... emAMya gaI rAtrie to meM zayanakhaMDanI eka bArI paNa khullI rahevA dIdhI na hatI. daravAjo aMdarathI For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM baMdha karIne huM sUto hato... chatAM e vyakti zayanakhaMDamAM pravezI gaI.... nathI dvAra tUTyuM.... nathI bArI tUTI... nathI koI corI thaI! mAre mana A eka khUba gUMcavaNabharyo koyaDo banyo hato. huM prAtaHkarmathI paravAryo hato tyAM pitAjIe mane bolAvyo. huM pitAjI pAse gayo tyAre pitAjInI pAse nagaranA AgevAna saddagRhastho beThelA hatA. mahAmaMtrI ane senApati paNa beThelA hatA. sahunA caherAo upara udAsInatA chavAyelI hatI. huM pitAjInI pAse jaIne beTho. pitAjIe mArI sAme joyuM. kakaratha, Aje paNa eka nagaravAsInI nirmama hatyA thaI gaI che... hatyAro pakaDAyo nathI." pitAjIe gaMbhIra vANImAM vAtano prAraMbha karyo. meM senApatinI sAme joyuM. senApatinI dRSTi jamIna para coMTelI hatI. 'senApatijI!" jI', senApatie mArI sAme joyuM. Aje rAtre samagra nagaramAM guptacaronI jALa pAtharI do. koI paNa rIte hatyAro pakaDAvo joIe. A aMge tame mArI sAthe cAlo. gupta maMtraNAlayamAM jaIne ApaNe vicAra karIe.' pitAjI bolyA : "beTA kanakaratha, hatyAro asAdhAraNa lAge che. khUba kuzaLa lAge che. chatAM tame khUba kunehathI ane cIvaTathI tapAsa karo to ene pakaDI zakazo.' meM kahyuM : "pitAjI, ame ema ja karIzuM." ane huM tyAMthI Ubho thayo. nagarazreSThIo paNa Azvasta thayA hatA. senApatine meM izArAthI mArI pAchaLa AvavA jaNAvyuM ane ame maMtraNAlayamAM pahoMcyA. meM senApatine guptacaronI jALa kevI rIte pAtharavI ane hatyArAne kevI rIte pakaDavo e aMge mArI yojanA samajAvI. senApatie mArI vAto khUba dhyAnathI sAMbhaLI ane e pramANe kArya karavAnI potAnI tamannA batAvI. joke mArA manamAM saMdeha to hato ja. je rAjamahelanA jAgrata cokIdArone thApa ApI mArA zayanagRhamAM pravezIne RSidattAnuM mukha lohIthI kharaDI jaI zake che.... te hatyAro sAmAnya na hoI zake. enA mATe koI nagaravAsInA gharamAM pravezI mANasanI hatyA karavI.... khUba AsAna kAma kahevAya! chatAM jo guptacaro ene pakaDI pADe... to moTo bheda khUlI jAya. mArA manamAM e vAtano to nirNaya thaI ja gayo hato ke je vyakti nagaramAM hatyA kare che te ja For Private And Personal Use Only

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50 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM vyakti RSidattAnuM mukha lohIthI kharaDe che! ane Ama karavAno Azaya RSidattAne hatyArI tarIke siddha karavAno hoI zake.... paNa zA mATe? te huM samajI zakato na hato. saMdhyAnAM aMdhArAM dharatI para UtaryAM ane guptacaronI jALa nagaramAM sarvatra patharAI gaI. nagaramAM bhayanuM vAtAvaraNa to chavAyeluM hatuM ja. nagaravAsIo paNa potapotAnAM ghara baMdha karIne potAnI surakSAno prabaMdha karatA hatA, meM rAjamahelanI cAre bAju kaDaka cokI-pahero goThavI dIdho. zastrasajja sainikone satarka karI dIdhA hatA. jANItA ke ajANyA koI paNa mANasa upara zaMkA paDatAM, tene pakaDIne mArI pAse hAjara karavAnI sUcanA ApI dIdhI hatI. nagaramAM ane rAjamahelamAM vAtAva2Na gamagIna to banI ja gayuM hatuM. RSidattA upara enI asara thAya, te svAbhAvika hatuM. enA mukha upara paNa gaMbhIratA ane udAsInatA AvI jatI hatI. chatAM huM ene nizcita ane prasanna rAkhavA enI sAthe hasIne vAto karato hato. Aje meM enI sAthe ghaNI vAto karI, enuM mana praphullita thayuM.... te nidrAdhIna thaI... huM jAgato ja rahyo. meM mArI kaTA2I mArI pAse ja rAkhI hatI. mArA zayanagRhane khUba jhINavaTathI tapAsI meM bArI-bAraNAM baMdha karyAM ane palaMgamAM jAgato ADo paDyo. madhyarAtrino samaya thayo. nIrava zAMti hatI. cokIdAronI Alabela ane azvonA haNahaNATa.... pakSIono kyAreka kalarava.... ke havAmAM aphaLAtI vRkSonI DALIono avAja .... e sivAya kaMI ja saMbhaLAtuM na hatuM. zayanagRhanA ratnadIpako jhAMkho jhAMkho prakAza pAtharI rahyA hatA. RSidattA nidrAdhIna hatI. tenA hAtha kyAreka kyAreka mArI tarapha laMbAtA hatA. tenA mukha para prasannatA patharAyelI hatI.... mane Azrama yAda AvI gayo.... rAjarSi yAda AvI gayA.... emaNe karelI vAto yAda AvI gaI.... bhUtakALanI e smRtio mane sukhada sparza karI jatI hatI.... paraMtu e smRtione vAgoLato huM kyAre nidrAdhIna thaI gayo, enI mane khabara na paDI! jyAre mArI AMkho khulI tyAre prabhAta thaI gayuM hatuM.... huM saphALo beTho thaI gayo.... meM RSidattAne joI.... 'o....' mane tammara AvI gayAM.... e ja durghaTanAnuM punarAvartana... RSidattAnuM mukha lohIthI kharaDAyeluM ane mAMsanA TukaDA enA ozIke! meM kalpanA karI ja lIdhI ke nagaramAM jarUra hatyA thaI haze.... ane mArI kalpanA sAcI paDI. RSidattAnuM mukha dhoI nAMkhIne, mAMsanA TukaDAo khALamAM nAMkhI daIne huM zayanagRhamAMthI bahAra nIkaLyo, tyAre nagaramAM thayelI hatyAnA samAcAra mane maLI gayA.... For Private And Personal Use Only

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51 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM RSidattA to enA nityakrama mujaba mAtAnI pAse cAlI gaI. huM pitAjI pAse pahoMcyo. pitAjI khUba ja vyagra hatA. Aje rAtre eka kumaLA bALakanI hatyA thaI hatI. guptacaronI jALa bhedAI hatI. hatyAro pakaDAyo to nahoto ja, eno paDachAyo paNa koI joI zakyuM na hatuM. meM pitAjIne kahyuM : 'Apa nityakramathI paravAro, pachI ApaNe punarvicAra karIe.' pitAjI bolyA : have to mAre pote ja e hatyArAne pakaDavA bahAra nIkaLavuM paDaze. nirdoSa prajAjanonI hatyAthI mAruM hRdaya raDI rahyuM che.... pitAjInI AMkho bhInI thaI gaI hatI, prajA pratye apAra vAtsalya dharAvatA pitAjI khUba vihvaLa banI gayA hatA. meM teone Agraha karIne snAnAdi ane dugdhapAna karAvyuM. mAtAnA mukha upara paNa bhArobhAra udAsInatA hatI. traNa traNa hatyAothI sahunAM mana udvegathI bharAI jAya te svAbhAvika hatuM. dugdhapAna karIne pitAjInI sAthe huM maMtraNAgRhamAM gayo. mahAmaMtrI ane senApati paNa AvI gayA hatA. guptacaronA nAyaka paNa hAja2 hatA. sahunI mukhAkRti evI mlAna hatI ke koI koInI sAme joI zakatuM na hatuM. meM vArtAno prAraMbha karyo. , mahAmaMtrI! Ama nirAza thaye nahIM cAle. Apa to pIDha anubhavI cho. Apa A mUMjhavaNamAM mArgadarzana Apo.' vayovRddha mahAmaMtrIe mArI sAme joyuM ane pachI pitAjI sAme joI teo bolyA : 'A hatyAo karanAra koI mAnavI tattva mane nathI lAgatuM.' 'to pachI?' huM bolI UThyo. 'koI AsurI tattva lAge che.' mahAmaMtrIe mArI sAme jANe trATaka karyuM. 'prayojana?' meM pUchyuM. 'potAnI koI duSTa vAsanA saMtoSavA asuro AvI hatyA karatA hoya che.' 'nirdoSa manuSyonI hatyA?' For Private And Personal Use Only 'hA! vAsanAgrasta jIva sardoSa-nirdoSano viveka nathI karI zakato.' 'paraMtu Apa zAnA AdhAre A anumAna karo cho?' 'guptacaroe ApelI mAhitInA AdhAre..... 'eTale?' 'jo koI mAnavI hatyAro hota to ApaNA guptacaro ene pakaDI pAData ja.

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para pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM teo nathI pakaDI zakyA, eno artha e che ke hatyAro mAnavI nathI! koI asara che" 'jo AsurI tattva hoya to ApaNe zuM karI zakIe?' ApaNe kaMI na karI zakIe. AsurI tattvano sAmano daivI tattva ja karI zake." e devI tattva kyAMthI lAvavuM? e paNa maLI zake che!" "kyAMthI?' "A ja duniyAmAMthI!' mahAmaMtrI emanI lAMbI sapheda dADhI para be hAtha pheravatAM bolyA. temanI AMkhomAM camaka hatI. mahAmaMtrInI vAta sAMbhaLIne mArA manamAM khUba prabaLa jijJAsA jAgI hatI....! UMDe UMDe mAruM mana mahAmaMtrInI vAta kabUlatuM jatuM hatuM. mArA zayanagRhamAM banatI durghaTanAnuM A vAtamAM mane kAraNa jaDatuM hatuM. AsurI tattva mArA zayanagRhanAM bArI-bAraNAM baMdha hoya te chatAMya pravezI zake! RSidattA pratye koI AsurI tattvane duzmanAvaTa hoya... koI pUrvajanmanI vairabhAvanA hoya... ane RSidattAne raMjADatuM hoya.... AvuM banI zake...! mahAmaMtrIe potAnuM vaktavya AgaLa calAvyuM. "rAja kumAra! meM mArA jIvanamAM AsurI baLo sAme daivI baLone laDatAM joyAM che ane vijaya pAmatAM joyAM che! alabatta, AsurI zakti manuSyonuM nukasAna karI jatI hoya che.... traNa traNa hatyAo enuM ja pariNAma mane lAge che. jo mAnavInuM A kAma hota to gaI rAtrimAM e pakaDAI ja jAta! AkhI rAta meM nagaramAM pharIne ApaNA guptacaranI kAryavAhI tapAsI che....' pitAjIe mArI sAme joyuM.. jANe teo mane upAlaMbha ApatA hatA ke mahelamAM ArAma karavAthI prajAnuM rakSaNa na karI zakAya." meM mahAmaMtrIne pUchyuM : "zuM AsurI baLa koI manuSyamAM AvatuM haze ane e manuSya hatyA karato haze? ke svayaM AsurI zakti Ama karatI haze? baMne saMbhAvanAo che. AsurI baLa koI manuSyamAM saMkrame ane e manuSya hatyA karato hoya athavA sIdhI ja AsurI zakti kAma karatI hoya.' "jo manuSyamAM AsurI zakti avataratI hoya ane e manuSya hatyA karato hoya to ApaNA daSTipathamAM na AvI zake?" na AvI zake. evI zaktio hoya che ke enA sahAre manuSya adazya banIne kAma karI zake! ApaNe ene na joI zakIe!" For Private And Personal Use Only

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53 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM eTale Apa ema kahevA mAgo cho ke evI koI AsurI zaktinA sahAre koI vyakti adazya banIne A hatyAo karI rahyuM che?" hA, mAruM A anumAna che.' mahAmaMtrIe dRDhatApUrvaka javAba Apyo. mArA mananI gUMca UkalatI jatI hatI. mArA zayanagRhanI ghaTanAnuM samAdhAna thatuM hatuM. meM mahAmaMtrIne pUchayuM : "to Ano upAya zuM?' Ano upAya ApaNI pAse nathI, rAjakumAra! e upAya hoya che evA yogI puruSo, sAdhu-saMnyAsIo pAse! teo AvI zaktinA upAsaka hoya che. maMtrasiddhio emanI pAse hoya che." evA yogIpuruSo kyAM maLe? ApaNA nagaramAMthI paNa maLI Ave!" ema? mane khUba Azcarya thayuM. "hA jI, ApaNA rAjyamAM sAdhu-saMnyAsIonI ane yogI puruSonI prajA sevA-bhakti kare che, eTale teo ApaNA rAjyamAM maLI zake!' meM pitAjInI sAme joyuM. pitAjI paNa mahAmaMtrInI vAta rasapUrvaka sAMbhaLatA hatA. teoe mane kahyuM : kumAra, mahAmaMtrI je saMbhAvanA batAve che te zakya che. A saMsAramAM AvI ghaTanAo banatI meM paNa joI che. evA zaktinA upAsaka yogI puruSo mokSamArganA ArAdhaka hoya che, teo AvAM kAmomAM paDatA nathI.' eTale yogI puruSo be prakAranA hoya che?' "hA, jeo eka mAtra AtmasvarUpane pAmavA, AtmaramaNatAmAM rahe che, teo jinezvara devanA zuddha mokSamArgane anusare che. teo daivI zaktio ke daivI camatkAronI pAchaLa samaya kharcatA nathI. jeo zaktimArganA upAsaka hoya che, teo evI zakti dharAvatA hoya che tema ja AsurI zakti paNa dharAvatA hoya che!' to pachI, pitAjI! evA zaktimArganA upAsaka yogI puruSanI zodha karAvIe ane ahIM bolAvIe, jo A upadrava AsurI zaktino haze to teo dUra karI zakaze! temanI zaktinuM paNa mApa nIkaLI jaze!' pitAjIe mahAmaMtrIne tevA yogI puruSonI zodha karAvavAnI AjJA karI ane ame sahu vIkharAyA... For Private And Personal Use Only

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10 zuM AkhA nagaramAM DhaMDhero piTAvI devAmAM Avyo. nagaramAM rahelA tamAma yogI, sAdhu, saMnyAsI... bAvAone rAjasabhAmAM bolAvavAmAM AvyA. mAtra mokSamArganA ArAdhaka zramaNone bolAvavAmAM na AvyA. lagabhaga so jeTalA yogI-saMnyAsI vagere AvyA. sahune yogya Asane besADavAmAM AvyA. pitAjIe e sahune uddezIne kahyuM : "tame sahu jANatA hazo ke ApaNA nagaramAM traNa divasathI roja eka mANasanI hatyA thAya che. e hatyA karanArane pakaDavA mArA sainikoe ane guptacaroe thAya eTalA prayatno karyA, paraMtu hatyAro pakaDAyo nathI. amane ema lAge che ke A koI mAnavInuM kRtya nathI, koI AsurI zakti A kukRtya karI rahI che ke karAvI rahI che. e AsurI zakti para devI zakti vijaya meLavI zake. tame sahu yogI-saMnyAsIo AsurI ane daivI zaktinA upAsaka cho, to tame A upadravane dUra karI Apo.' ATaluM kahIne pitAjIe mahAmaMtrInI sAme joyuM. mahAmaMtrIe yogIone kahyuM: 'tamArI devI zaktino mahArAjAne paraco dekhADavAno A avasara che. vaLI prajAjanonI hatyA rokavAnuM A pavitra kArya che. mATe jenI pAse devI zakti hoya teo AgaLa AvIne jAhera kare ane kAryano prAraMbha kare.' rAjasabhAmAM sannATo chavAI gayo. dareka yogI-bAvA ekabIjAnAM moDhAM jovA lAgyA. maMtra-taMtranI vAto karIne, daivI zaktinI vAto karIne prajAjanone chetaranArAonA motiyA marI gayA! pitAjI akaLAyA. teo bolyA : kema tame badhA cUpa cho? tamArAmAM koI eka evo yogI nathI ke je sAcesAca daivI zakti dharAvato hoya? to pachI tame mArA rAjyamAM zA mATe paDyA rahyA cho? mAtra khAvA-pIvA ane UMghavA mATe? jo tame mAruM A kArya nahIM karo to tamane badhAne mArA rAjyamAMthI kADhI mUkIza." sahu jogI-saMnyAsIonAM mukha plAna thaI gayAM hatAM. teo koI ja javAba ApI zakavA zaktimAna na hatA. pitAjIno gusso vadhato jato hato. temaNe mahAmaMtrIne kahyuM : A badhAne mArA rAjyamAMthI kADhI mUko.' mahAmaMtrIe pitAjInI AjJAnuM For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM papa pAlana karyuM. jevA badhA jogI-saMnyAsI rAjyasabhAmAMthI bahAra nIkaLyA, eka saMnyAsinIe rAjasabhAmAM praveza karyo. pitAjIne AzIrvAda ApI teNe kahyuM : he rAjana, Ape je kAma mATe yogI-saMnyAsIone bolAvyA hatA, e kAma mATe huM AvI chuM. nagaramAM je traNa divasathI roja eka mANasanI hatyA thAya che te hatyA karanAranI mane jANa thaI che....' pitAjI sihAsana uparathI UbhA thaI gayA. be hAtha joDI emaNe e saMnyAsinInuM abhivAdana karyuM ane kahyuM : 'tame jaladI batAvo. koNa che e hatyAro? ane tame kevI rIte jANyuM?" yoginIe AMkho baMdha karI e bolavA mAMDyuM : "mahArAja, Aje rAtre meM eka svapna joyuM. svapnamAM koI deva mArI pAse Avyo ane eNe mane kahyuM : "AvatI kAle rAjA nagaranA tamAma sAdhusaMnyAsIone bolAvIne emane nagaramAM thatI hatyAonA viSayamAM pUchaze. eno javAba koI ApI nahIM zake ane rAjA e badhAMne rAjyamAMthI kADhI mUkaze... mATe tAre jaIne rAjAne kahevAnuM ke roja eka mANasanI hatyA karanAra vyakti rAjamahelanI che.... ane te che rAjakumAranI patnI... ke jene vanamAMthI rAja kumAra laI AvyA che... te kharekhara rAkSasI che. mATe tame A badhA sAdhu-saMnyAsIono parAbhava na karo." pitAjI coMkI UThyA.... temaNe mArI sAme joyuM... roSathI mAruM zarIra dhrUjI rahyuM hatuM.... mAro hAtha mArI kamare laTakatI talavAra para gayo hato.... tyAM vaLI yoginIe kahyuM : mahArAjA, mAre bIjI eka vAta kahevI che, paNa te Apane ja kahevAnI che...' pitAjIe mArI sAme joyuM. huM Ubho thaI rAjasabhAnI bahAra nIkaLI gayo. mArI pAchaLa mahAmaMtrI vagere badhA ja bahAra nIkaLI gayA. mAruM mana atyaMta udvigna thaI gayuM hatuM. huM tyAMthI sIdho ja rAjamahelamAM cAlyo gayo. mAre tatkAla RSidattAne maLavuM hatuM ane rAjasabhAmAM saMnyAsinIe karelI vAtanI jANa karavI hatI. RSidarA zayanagRhamAM mArI ja rAha joIne beThI hatI. huM jaIne palaMgamAM phasaDAI paDyo. RSidattA gabharAI gaI. teNe mArA mastaka para hAtha mUkI pUchyuM : "nAtha, Aje ATalA badhA udvigna kema cho?'huM ene zuM kahyuM? AMkho baMdha karIne huM bolyA vinA paDyo rahyo. For Private And Personal Use Only

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53. pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM RSidattAe mane bolavA mATe Agraha to karyo, paraMtu vadhu Agraha na karyo. tenI AMkhomAM AMsu UbharAI AvyAM. te ghora viSAdamAM DUbI gaI. meM enI sAme joyuM. mArA uttarIya vastrathI enI AMkho lUchI ane kahyuM : 28Si, teM kahelo karma siddhAMta mane sAco lAge che...' eNe mArI sAme joyuM, te kAMI bolI nahIM. Aje mane samajAya che ke manuSyane sArAM ke narasAM karmonuM phaLa bhogavavuM paDe che. bhale manuSya duHkhothI bacavA mATe prayatno kare, paraMtu jo enAM pApakarmo udayamAM Ave to ene duHkha bhogavavuM ja paDe!" huM bolato hato, RSidattA sAMbhaLatI hatI, paraMtu ene mArA A tattvajJAnamAM atyAre rasa nahoto. e rAjasabhAnI ghaTanA sAMbhaLavA Atura haze, ema mane lAgyuM. huM ene rAjasabhAnI ghaTanA kevI rIte kahuM? mane mUMjhavaNa thatI hatI. chatAM enI jijJAsA saMtoSavA meM kahyuM : Aje rAjasabhAmAM so jeTalA bAvA-jogI-saMnyAsI AvelA. nagaramAM roja thatI hatyA aMge pUchavAmAM AvyuM. teoe e vAta to kabUlI ke A kAma mAnavInuM nathI... koI AsurI zaktinuM che! paNa enuM nivAraNa karavAno upAya teo batAvI na zakyA.... pitAjI gusse bharAyA ane e sahune rAjyamAMthI kADhI mUkavAnI AjJA karI..." RSidattA mArI najIka sarakI AvIne AturatApUrvaka vAta sAMbhaLatI hatI. mArA manamAM paNa gaI kAlathI A ja AzaMkA hatI. AvuM kAma... A rIte koI mAnavI na karI zake... haju hatyA to karI zake... paraMtu mArA zayanagRhamAM kevI rIte AvI zake? paraMtu AvuM hIna kRtya karanAra khUba pAvaradho lAge che. enuM lakSya nAgarikonI hiMsA karavAnuM nathI, enuM lakSya tuM che! tane kalaMkita karavAnuM che.... tane duHkhI karavAnuM che....' RSidattAnuM zarIra dhrUjI rahyuM hatuM. meM enI pITha para hAtha pheravatAM kahyuM : 'RSi, tuM ciMtA na karIza.... huM mArAthI banatA tamAma prayatno karIne e mAyAvI zaktino pratikAra karIza. rAjasabhAmAM AvelI eka saMnyAsinIe ene AvelA svapnanI vAta karatAM. A hatyA karavAnuM kalaMka tArA upara mUkyuM che. paraMtu pitAjI enA svapnanI vAta sIdhesIdhI mAnI le ema nathI. koI paNa mANasa A vAta mAnI zake ema nathI. mane to e ja vakhate evo gusso Avelo ke talavArathI tyAM ja saMnyAsinIne yamalokamAM pahoMcADI dauM... paraMtu pitAjInI maryAdAe mane rokyo....' For Private And Personal Use Only

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pa7 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM RSidattA TagaraTagara mArI sAme joI rahI hatI. alabatta ene mArA upara saMpUrNa vizvAsa hato. huM eno game tevA vikaTa saMyogomAM paNa tyAga nahIM karuM, evI ene khAtarI hatI. eNe gadgad svare mane kahyuM : pUrvajanmamAM bAMdheluM koI pApakarma udayamAM AvyuM che. Apa zuM karo? Apa mArA duHkhe duHkhI na thazo.. huM mAruM pApakarma bhogavIza...' bolatAM bolatAM te raDI paDI. meM ene khUba sAttvanA ApI. eNe be hAthe potAnuM mukha dabAvIne kahyuM : Aje huM mAtA pAse nahIM jAuM.." bhale, Aje ApaNe ahIM ja bhojana karIzuM.' paraMtu tyAM to mAtA svayaM mArA khaMDamAM pravezI. huM ane RSidanA baMne UbhAM thaI gayAM. mAtAe AvIne RSidattAne potAnA utsaMgamAM lIdhI. enA mastake hAtha mUkIne dhIme dhIme paMpALavA lAgI. mAtAnA mukha para glAni ane ciMtAnI rekhAo UpasI AvI hatI. huM pazcima dizAnI bArIe Ubho Ubho nagara tarapha joI rahyo hato. mAruM mana asvastha hatuM. pitAjI mane bolAvaze ane RSidattA aMgenA prazano pUchaze, evI mArI dhAraNA hatI. pitAjI kevA kevA prazno pUchaze ane enA javAbo huM kevA ApIza, enA vicAro paNa mArA manamAM UbharAvA lAgyA hatA. pelI yoginIe pitAjIne ekAMtamAM zuM vAta karI haze - e aMge mAruM mana aneka anumAno karatuM hatuM. je yoginIe RSidattAne "rAkSasI' batAvI, nagarajanonI hatyAnI javAbadAra batAvI, te yoginIe mArA zayanagRhamAM banatI ghaTanA paNa pitAjIne kema na kahI hoya? zuM A yoginInuM A payaMtra haze? paraMtu e zA mATe RSidattA pratye dveSa rAkhe? mane kaMI samajAtuM na hatuM.... huM mArA zayanagRhamAM niSpayojana AMTA mAravA lAgyo. rAjasabhAmAM yoginIe je vAta karI hatI, te vAta mArI mAtA pAse pahoMcI gaI hatI ane eTale ja mArI mA mArA khaMDamAM doDI AvI hatI. enA hRdayamAM RSidattA pratye apAra vAtsalya hatuM. "RSidarA ane rAkSasI?" A vAta koI paNa nagaravAsInA manamAM ke koI paNa rAjapuruSanA manamAM Utare evI na hatI, pachI mAtAnA manamAM UtaravAno prazna ja kyAM rahe? mAtAe amArA baMne mATe sAMjanuM bhojana mArA khaMDamAM ja maMgAvI lIdhuM hatuM. mArI ke RSidarAnI bhojana karavAnI icchA ja na hatI. chatAM mAtAnA ati AgrahathI ame thoDuMka khAI lIdhuM. ame mAtAne vidAya karI. mAtAnI AMkho AMsubhInI hatI. For Private And Personal Use Only

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pa8 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM mAtAnA gayA pachI thoDI ja kSaNomAM mane teDuM AvyuM. RSidattAne zayanakhaMDamAM nizcita banIne rahevAnuM kahI huM pitAjInI pAse pahoMcyo. pitAjI palaMgamAM AMkho baMdha karIne sUtelA hatA. huM emanI pAse paDelA eka bhadrAsana para zAMtithI beTho. thoDI vAre pitAjIe AMkho kholI mArI sAme joyuM. teo dhImA svare bolyA : kanakaratha, Aje mArI tabiyata sArI nathI." rAjavaidyane bolAvuM, pitAjI?" nA, hamaNAM bolAvavAnI jarUra nathI. jarUra paDe tyAre bolAvIzuM. paNa Aje rAtre tuM mArI pAse sUI jaje. kadAca rAtre tabiyata vadhu bagaDe to?' mane peTamAM dhrAsako paDyo....pitAjIne pharIthI kahyuM : pitAjI, evuM lAgatuM hoya to atyAre vaidarAjane bolAvI lAvuM. atyAre davA laI lo to rAtre tabiyata bagaDavAno bhaya na rahe." "bhale, atyAre vaidarAjane bolAvI lAva, paraMtu Aje rAtre tAre mArI pAse sUI javAnuM che. mane mArI tabiyata ciMtA karAve che...." huM mauna rahyo ane vaidarAjane bolAvI lAvavA nokarane ravAnA karyo. mArA manamAM bhAre gaDamathala cAlu thaI gaI hatI. "pitAjI mane emanI pAse sUvAnuM kahe che, enuM kAraNa emanI asvastha tabiyata nathI, paraMtu RSidanA che.' A vAta samajatAM mane vAra na lAgI. pitAjInuM svAthya ghaNI vAra bagaDeluM che, paraMtu kyAreya mane emanI pAse suvAkyo nathI... mAtA ja badhI sevA karatI hatI. jo huM pitAjInI pAse ahIM suI jAuM to vahelI savAre RSidattAnuM lohIthI kharaDAyeluM mukha... mAMsanA TukaDA... A badhuM koNa sApha karaze? ane e to svaye vahelI jAgI zakatI nathI.... koI paricArikAnI najare jo A badhuM caDhI gayuM to?' A kalpanAthI huM dhrUjI UThyo. jo lohIthI kharaDAyelA mukhavALI RSidattAne koI joI le to e "rAkSasI' che, A Aropa siddha thaI jAya... enuM kevuM bhayaMkara pariNAma Ave?... mAruM mAthuM bhamavA mAMDyuM. mAthAmAM casakA UpaDyAM.... huM Ubho thaIne jharUkhAmAM gayo. aMdhAruM thaI gayuM hatuM. nagaramAM dIpako saLagI gayA hatA. vaidarAje AvIne pitAjIne tapAsyA ane davA ApIne "savAre sAruM thaI jaze.' ema kahIne cAlyA gayA. mAruM mana pokArI UhyuM : "savAre mAruM badhuM bagaDI jaze...... mArA mukhamAMthI nisAso nIkaLI paDyo. kSaNabhara mane vicAra AvI gayo. "pitAjIne kahI dauM ke huM ApanI pAse For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhya pANiyAruM nahIM sUI zakuM. RSidatA ekalI nahIM sUI zake...' paraMtu eno javAba to pitAjI ApI de : "tArI mAtA sAthe e sUI jaze....to pachI huM zuM kahuM? pitAjI to kAMI bolatA ja na hatA. teo AMkho baMdha karIne sUI rahyA hatA. meM RSidattAne kahI AvavAno vicAra karyo. e sAvadhAna rahe.... vahelI UThIne enI jAte mukha dhoI nAMkhe ane mAMsanA TukaDA khALamAM nAMkhI de.... huM dhImethI pitAjInA khaMDamAMthI bahAra nIkaLyo.... tyAM pitAjIno avAja Avyo : "kanakaratha, jaladI pAcho AvI jaje." sAruM, pitAjI', kahIne huM mArA zayanakhaMDamAM pahoMcI gayo. RSidattA jharUkhAmAM UbhI UbhI dUra dUra AkAza tarapha joI rahI hatI. enA manamAM kevA kevA vicAra AvatA haze.. "huM vanavagaDAnuM paMkhI.... ane jyAM A sonAnA piMjarAmAM lobhANuM...zuM ene anaMta AkAzamAM UDI javAnA vicAro AvatA haze? zuM ene atyAre enA vAtsalyabharyA pitAjI yAda AvatA haze? e Azrama.... e jinAlaya.... e vanya pazuo..... e mukta jIvana... A badhuM atyAre ene bolAvatuM haze? AvI jA RSi, ahIM.... tArA mATe to A ja mahela che. A ja svarga che... e rAjamahelanAM sukha tArA kAmamAM nahIM. e badhI indrajALa che... mAyAjALa che....' huM enI pAchaLa jaIne Ubho rahyo. mArA mukhamAMthI "Ahu" nIkaLI gaI.... ane eNe coMkIne pAchaLa joyuM.... e mane vaLagI paDI....meM enuM mAthuM paMpALyuM... RSi, Aje mAre pitAjInI pAse sUvAnuM che. tAre ekalIe Aje A zayanagRhamAM sUvAnuM che.... bIjo koI bhaya nathI.. basa, tuM sAvadhAna raheje. savAre vahelI UThIne tuM svayaM tAruM mukha dhoI nAMkhaje..... ane pelA TukaDA khALamAM nAMkhI deje... AmAM jarAya gaphalata karIza nahIM." Apa kema pitAjI pAse Aje....' "pitAjIe AjJA karI che.... nA kevI rIte pADuM? nA pADuM to temanI zaMkA vadhu dRDha thAya....' RSidattA kAMI bolI nahIM.... palaMgamAM UMdhI paDIne.... dhrusake dhrusake rovA lAgI. enI pITha paMpALato huM thoDoka samaya besI rahyo.... ane prathama prahara pUro thatAM laDathaDatA page zayanagRhanI bahAra nIkaLyo.... For Private And Personal Use Only

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maka huM huM pitAjInA zayanakhaMDamAM sUI gayo, paraMtu huM AkhI rAta jAgato ja rahyo. mane nidrA kevI rIte Ave? satata mane RSidattAnI ciMtA satAvatI hatI. rAtrinA chellA praharamAM mane jhokuM AvI gayuM. prabhAte jyAre huM jAgyo... AkAza vAdaLachAyuM hatuM. vAtAvaraNa viSAdabharyuM hatuM. haju huM pitAjInA zayanakhaMDamAM ja hatI tyAM be nagararakSakoe AvIne pitAjIne samAcAra ApyA : mahArAjA, Aje rAtre paNa eka puruSanI hatyA thaI gaI che....' pitAjInA mukha para roSa ane udvega UbharAyo. teo kaMI bolyA nahIM. nagararakSako praNAma karI cAlyA gayA. thoDI kSaNo vItI ane be guptacaroe AvIne pitAjIne namana karyuM ane kahyuM: "mahArAjA, ame rAjakumAranA zayanakhaMDamAM rAtrinA chellA praharamAM avalokana karyuM. ApanI sUcanA mujaba khUba kALajIthI yuvarAjJInuM mukha joyuM.... te lohIthI kharaDAyeluM hatuM ane ozIkA pAse mAMsanA TukaDA paNa paDelA hatA... ame najare joIne AvyA chIe." huM to guptacaronI vAta sAMbhaLI stabdha thaI gayo. mArI AzaMkA sAcI paDI hatI... pitAjInI pratikriyA aMge paNa mArI kalpanA sAcI paDavAnI mArI dhAraNA baMdhAI gaI. pitAjIe mArI sAme joyuM. temanuM zarIra roSathI dhrujI rahyuM hatuM. temanI AMkhomAMthI krodhanA aMgArA varasatA hatA... teoe mane kahyuM : teM mArA kuLane kalaMkita karyuM che... tuM jANe che ke RSidanA rAkSasI che.... chatAM e vAta tuM mane nathI kaheto. roja nagaramAM nagaravAsInI hatyA thAya che.... roja e rAkSasI mArA prajAjananuM lohI pIe che.... mAMsa khAya che.... chatAM tuM ene pALe che, poSe che..... prema kare che. roja enuM mukha lohIthI kharaDAyeluM tuM jue che ke nahIM? bola, sAcuM bola...' | pitAjI eTalA badhA jozathI ane roSathI bolatA hatA ke bolatAM bolatAM hAMphI rahyA hatA.... teo emanA palaMga para beThA hatA, huM mArA palaMga para beTho hato. meM khUba namratAthI kahyuM : For Private And Personal Use Only

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1 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM "mane A koI bhayaMkara jayaMtra lAge che. RSidattAne kalaMkita karavA A badhuM thaI rahyuM che. huM nathI mAnato ke e rAkSasI hoya.' to pachI enuM mukha lohIthI kevI rIte kharaDAya? mAMsanA TukaDA kyAMthI Ave che? nagaramAM hatyAo koNa kare che?' pitAjI UchaLI paDyA. e huM nathI jANato, pitAjI! e rahasya haju chatuM thatuM nathI. RSidattAne huM enA AzramamAM hato tyArathI joto Avyo chuM. te eka rAjarSinI putrI che. e rAkSasI na hoI zake." meM khUba makkamatAthI RSidanAno bacAva karyo. pitAjI upara enI koI asara na thaI. teo vadhu krodhe bharAyA. "tuM enA mohamAM AMdhaLo thaI gayo che... AvuM pratyakSa pramANa hovA chatAM tuM nathI mAnato! tuM cAlyo jA, mArI sAmethI. huM tAruM kALuM moM jovA nathI icchato... nIkaLI jA ahIMthI....' huM turta ja Ubho thaI zayanagRhamAMthI bahAra nIkaLI gayo ane sIdho mArA zayanakhaMDamAM pahoMcI gayo. RSidattA palaMgamAM UMdhI paDelI hatI.... hIbakI hIMbakIne roI rahI hatI.. raDI raDIne AMkho sUjI gaI hatI. meM jaIne ene bolAvI : "RSi!' mAro avAja sAMbhaLatAM te saphALI UbhI thaI gaI ane mane vaLagI paDI. tenuM karuNa rudana mArA haiyAmAM kALo kakaLATa pedA karatuM hatuM. meM RSidattAne kahyuM : "RSi, cAla ApaNe A mahela choDIne cAlyA jaIe... ApaNe A mahelamAM, A rAjyamAM nathI rahevuM." tyAM to pitAjI svayaM mArA zayanakhaMDamAM AvI pahoMcyA ane rADa pADI : kyAM cAlyA javuM che tamAre? tAre kyAMya javAnuM nathI, eka bAju Ubho rahI jA. choDI de A rAkSasIne. ene to huM Aje jallAdone soMpI daIza. smazAnamAM eno vadha thaze...." "to pachI pitAjI, tame sAMbhaLI lo.... tamAro putra paNa prANatyAga karaze.' ane meM mArI kaTArI myAnamAMthI kheMcI kADhI..... tyAM mArI mAtA zayanagRhamAM doDI AvI ane mane vaLagI paDI. mArA hAthamAMthI eNe kaTArI kheMcI lIdhI..... te hAMphI rahI hatI. pitAjI sAme joIne mA bolI UThI : A tame zuM karI rahyA cho? tame kone "rAkSasI' kaho cho?' For Private And Personal Use Only

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kare_ pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM ' 'A tArI putravadhUne. bola, tAre zuM kahevuM che? roja eka nagaravAsInI hatyA karI raktapAna kare che... ane mAMsanI mahephilo uDAve che..... ane A tAro lADakavAyo jANavA chatAM A rAkSasIne pALe che ne poSe che..." bhale e rAkSasI hoya, ame cAlyA jaIe chIe tamAruM rAjya choDIne....' meM RSidattA pAse jaI eno hAtha pakaDyo.... tyAM pitAjIe RSidattAno coTalo pakaDI tene DhasaraDavA mAMDI.... sainikoe mane pakaDI lIdho ane pitAjInI AjJAthI mane eka thAMbhalA sAthe bAMdhI dIdho. mA... bicArI mA... karuNa kalpAMta karatI RSidattAne choDAvavA AgaLa vadhI.. paraMtu pitAjIe trADa pADI ene eka dhakko daI khUNAmAM dhakelI dIdhI ane RSidattAne jallAdonA havAle karI dIdhI ane jallAdone kahyuM : A rAkSasIne AkhA nagaramAM pheravajo, nagaramAM jAhera karajo ke "A yuvarAjJI rAkSasI che..roja ANe ja nagarajanonI hatyA karI che....nagaravAsInAM lohI pIdhAM che... mAMsa khAdhAM che...' pachI smazAnamAM laI jaI eno vadha karI dejo." basa, pitAjInA A kaThora zabdo mArA kAne paDyA... ne behoza thaI gayo hato, mAtA paNa bebhAna paDelI hatI. bIjuM to koNa karuNAvaMta hatuM amArA mahelamAM? bicArAM dAsa-dAsIonuM pitAjInI AgaLa zuM cAle? AMkhomAMthI bora bora jevaDAM AMsu varasAvatA rahyA te loko, ane haiyAphATa rudana karatI RSidattAne krUra jallAdo rAjamahelamAMthI DhasaDI gayA, jyAre huM bhAnamAM Avyo, tyAre meM mArI jAtane mArA zayanagRhanA palaMgamAM joI. pAse ja pitAjI beThelA hatA. daravAje sazastra sainiko pahero bharatA hatA. meM AMkho kholI ne baMdha karI dIdhI. mAruM AkhuM zarIra tUTI rahyuM hatuM.... ane tAvathI dhakhI rahyuM hatuM. pitAjIe pUchyuM : beTA, pANI ApuM?" meM mAthuM dhuNAvIne nA pADI. mArA hRdayanI ghora vedanAnuM huM kyA zabdomAM varNana karuM? pitAjI tarapha bhayaMkara aprIti jAgI gaI hatI.... rAjamahelanAM sukho tarapha ghora aNagamo thaI gayo hato. RSidattAnI smRti mane khUba ja asvastha karI rahI hatI.. For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 'RSidattA, huM tArI pAse AvuM chuM.." ema bUma pADato huM palaMgamAM Ubho thaI gayo. pitAjIe mane pakaDI lIdho ane suvADI dIdho. traNa divasa sudhI meM khAdhuM nahIM ke pANI pIdhuM nahIM, tyAre pitAjI gabharAyA. temaNe mArI mAtAne kahyuM : tuM game te rIte kumArane samajAva." mAtAe pitAjIne mArA zayanagRhamAMthI bahAra mokalI dIdhA ane dvArarakSakone paNa ravAnA karI dIdhA. mAtAe mArA mastakane potAnA khoLAmAM lIdhuM. tenI AMkhomAMthI nItaratI azrudhArAe mArA mastakane bhIMjavI dIdhuM. mAtA raDI rahI hatI. meM AMkho kholI.. mAtA dhrusake dhrusake raDI paDI. mArA zarIramAM tAva bharelo hato. meM mArA garama garama be hAthathI mAtAnI AMkho lUchI. ane dhImA svare meM mAtAne kahyuM : 'tuM raDa nahIM. raDavAthI zuM?' "to beTA, have raDavA sivAya jIvanamAM rahyuM che zuM? mArI devI jevI putravadhU...." mA vadhu bolI na zakI. teNe potAnA pAlavathI potAnuM mukha DhAMkI dIdhuM. mA RSidattAne yAda karI karI jhUrI rahI hatI. huM RSidattAne yAda karI karI saLagI rahyo hato... mArI AMkho paNa raDI raDIne sUjI gaI hatI. eka prahara sudhI mA besI rahI. eka akSara paNa bolI nahIM, chevaTe teNe kahyuM : beTA, zuM tuM dUdha ke pANI nahIM le?' have zA mATe dUdha lauM? zA mATe pANI?" pAse ja UbhelI RSidattAnI priya paricArikAe saheja mArA tarapha namIne mane kahyuM : mahArAjakumAra, traNa divasathI mAtAjIe paNa annapANI nathI lIdhAM. Apa lezo to ja e leze...." ane teM anna-pANI lIdhAM che kharAM?' mAtAe paricArikAne pUchyuM; ane mArI tarapha joIne mA bolI : beTA, A vasaMtAe paNa traNa divasathI anna-pANI nathI lIdhAM...." rAjamahelanA sarva dAsa-dAsIomAM RSidattAne vasaMtA upara sahuthI vadhAre lAgaNI hatI. vasaMtAne paNa RSidattA upara apAra sneha hato, A huM jANato hato. mArAthI bolI zakAtuM na hatuM. chatAM meM vasaMtAne pUchyuM : For Private And Personal Use Only

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34 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 'vasaMtA, RSidattAne ahIMthI laI gayA tyAre tuM sAthe gaI hatI?' 'mahArAjakumAra, mane sAthe koNa javA de? paraMtu huM gaI hatI.... nagaranI bahAra.... TheTha smazAnanA daravAjA sudhI gaI hatI....' 'ene kevI rIte laI gayA hatA e jallAdo?' meM bIjo prazna karyo. Acharya Shri Kailassagarsuri Gyanmandir 'e vAta huM atyAre nahIM kahuM. pahelAM Apa pANI pIo. davA lo. bhojana karo.... pachI badhI ja vAta karIza....' 'hA, beTA, tuM pANI pI le, davA le ane tane bhAve te bhojana le....' mAtAno premALa hAtha mArA mukha upara pharI rahyo hato. mAtA mArI vedanA jANI zakatI hatI. mAnA haiyAmAM RSidattAnuM nirdoSa vyaktitva jaLavAyeluM hatuM. 'mA, enuM zuM thayuM haze?' beTA, e mahAsatI che.... eno dharma enI rakSA karaze ja.' 'mA, zuM e jIvatI haze? pelA yamadUta jevA jallAdoe eno vadha nahIM karyo hoya?' mArI kalpanAsRSTimAM vikarALa AkRtivALA jallAdo UpasI AvyAM.... RSidattAnA vALa pakaDI DhasaDI jatAM.... mArA mAthAnI naso kheMcAtI hatI. zarIramAM bhAre kaLatara thatuM hatuM, meM paDakhuM pheravyuM ane mAtAnA baMne hAtha laI mArA mukha para DhAMkI dIdhA. mAtAe mane snehathI kahyuM : 'beTA, thoDuM pANI pI le....' mane vasaMtAnA zabdo yAda AvyA : 'tame pANI, davA.... dUdha laI lo.... pachI huM tamane RSidattAnI vAta kahIza....' meM mAtAnA hAthe thoDuM pANI pIdhuM. mAtAne khUba saMtoSa thayo. mAtAe vasaMtAne saMketa karyo ane vasaMtA zayanagRhamAMthI cAlI gaI. thoDI vAre te vaidarAjane teDIne hAjara thaI, vaidarAjane mAtAe AvakAra Apyo ane besavA bhadrAsana ApyuM. vaidarAje besIne mAruM zarIra tapAsavA mAMDayuM. zarIra tapAsIne davA ApI. mAtAne kahyuM : 'ciMtA na karazo. eka-be divasamAM tAva UtarI jaze. kumAranuM mana praphullita rAkhajo.' vaidarAja cAlyA gayA. mAtAe mArA mATe dUdha taiyAra rAkhyuM hatuM. sUtAM sUtAM ja mane mAtAe dUdha pAyuM. thoDI vAramAM ja mane nidrA AvI gaI.... jyAre huM jAgyo tyAre rAtrino cotho prahara cAlato hato.... mArI smRtimAM RSidattA For Private And Personal Use Only

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u5 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM AvI gaI. chellA traNa divasa roja A samaye huM enuM lohIthI kharaDAyeluM mukha sApha karato hato... mAMsanA TukaDA khALamAM nAkhI deto hato... ane chellI savAranuM dRzya to keTaluM bhayAnaka hatuM.? pitAjIe eno coTalo pakaDIne enI sukomaLa kAyAne DhasaDI... ahA.. kevI krUratA hatI e? garIba gAya jevI RSidattA.. tyAre kevI bhayabhIta thaI gaI hatI? tenI AMkho pahoLI thaI gaI hatI...! tenA mukhamAMthI kevI dAruNa cIsa nIkaLI hatI...! mArA mAthAmAM casakA mAravA lAgyA. mAruM mana roSathI dhamadhamI UThyuM. vasaMtAe mane kahyuM : "mahArAja kumAra, traNa divasathI Ape snAna karyuM nathI. uSNa jala taiyAra che. Apa snAna karI lo to zarIramAM skUrti AvI jaze." huM dhIredhIre palaMga parathI nIce Utaryo. snAnAgAramAM jaIne meM snAna karyuM, vastraparivartana karyuM. zarIra kaMIka svastha banyuM, tAva UtarI gayo hato. sUryodaya thaI gayo hato. mAtA mArA mATe dUdha laIne AvI gaI hatI. mAruM mana becena hatuM. mAtAe khUba Agraha karIne mane dUdha ApyuM. dugdhapAna karIne meM vasaMtAne kahyuM : vasaMtA, have tuM mane kahe, e jallAdoe RSidattAnuM zuM karyuM?" vasaMtA mArI mAtAnAM caraNomAM besI gaI hatI. mAro prazna sAMbhaLI tenA mukha upara gaMbhIratA. udAsInatA chavAI gaI. thoDI kSaNo mauna rahIne teNe kahyuM : "mahArAja kumAra, A sAMbhaLIne Apa zuM karazo? ApanA dilane khUba AghAta lAgaze... e jallAdoe yuvarAjJIne duHkha ApavAmAM kaMI bAkI rAkhyuM nathI...." nA, mAre sAMbhaLavuM che.... e nirdoSa abaLAne kevAM duHkha sahevAM paDyAM, te mAre jANavuM che.... kyAreka kAIka bhavamAM e maLI jAya... to enI huM kSamA mAgI zakuM ne!" kumAra, to tame sAMbhaLo. jallAdo yuvarAjJIne ahIMthI bahAra laI gayA.... enA gaLAmAM lImaDAnAM pAMdaDAMno hAra paherAvyo, enA samagra zarIra upara kALA.... lAla.... evA raMga copaDyA.... enA mAthe sAta nALiyera bAMdhyAM... pagamAM ghUgharA bAMdhyA.... AgaLa Dhola-trAMsA vagADanArA mANasone rAkhyA.. satata enA upara kaMkunI vRSTi karavA lAgyA.... tyAra pachI yuvarAjJIne AkhA nagaramAM pheravavAmAM AvI. nagarajanomAM hAhAkAra vyApI gayo. sahunA zvAsa adhdhara thaI gayA hatA... "arere, mahAsatI RSidattAnuM A zuM thayuM? koNe A For Private And Personal Use Only

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36 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM sannArI upara kalaMka mUkyuM?' AvA zabdo spaSTa saMbhaLAtA hatA. ghaNI strIo to A dazya joIne raDatI hatI. ghaNA puruSo paNa A banAvathI khUba nArAja thayA hatA, paraMtu sattA AgaLa konuM cAle? 'rAjakumAra, huM to dUra dUra cAlatI hatI, yuvarAjJInI mArA upara najara nA paDI jAya, enI kALajI rAkhIne cAlatI hatI.... mArI AMkhomAMthI zrAvaNabhAdaravo varasI rahyo hato.... traNa-cAra vakhata to Thokara khAIne huM jamIna para paDI gaI hatI.... jyAre smazAna AvyuM tyAre sUrya paNa asta thaI gayo hato.... jANe ke yuvarAjJI para varasatA sitamathI sUrya paNa zaramAI gayo ane asta thaI gayo..... 'basa, smazAnamAM yuvarAjJIne laIne jallAdo pravezyA, te pachI sahu loko rotA-kakaLatA pAchA vaLyA.... huM paNa pAchI vaLI gaI....' vasaMtAnI vAta sAMbhaLIne mArA hRdayamAM roSanI Aga bhabhUkI UThI. AMkho AMsuothI chalakAI gaI.... huM palaMga uparathI Ubho thayo ane jharUkhAmAM jaIne Ubho rahyo. mAtA pAlavamAM mukha chupAvIne raDI rahI hatI. vasaMtA mAtAne zAMta karavA prayatna karavA lAgI. mane cAre bAju ane aMtaratamamAM aMdhakAra ja dekhAvA lAgyo.... kharekhara huM mUDha banI gayo hato. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #79
zoka, udvega ane AkaMda mAruM jIvana banI gayuM. RSidattAnI smRti sivAya mAruM mana kaMI ja vicArI zakatuM na hatuM. mArI azakti, mArI kAyaratA ane mArI nirvIryatA upara mane dhikkAra Upajyo. sAthe sAthe, pitAjIe batAvelI krUratA, nirdayatA ane pAzavatAe mArA manane vidrohI banAvI dIdhuM. huM RSidattAne bacAvI na zakyo, enI rakSA na karI zakyo, enuM pArAvAra du:kha hatuM. RSidattA nirdoSa hatI, niSpApa hatI... niraparAdhI hatI... e huM jANato hato... chatAM enI sAthe koNe AvI krUra ramata ramI e huM jANI zakyo na hato... enA upara lAgelA kalaMkane dUra karavA mArI pAse koI purAvo na hato, koI buddhi na hatI, koI upAya na hato.... eka ja purAvo hato... ane te mAruM hRdaya! paraMtu mArA hRdayano purAvo pitAjIne maMjUra na hato. A duniyAmAM hRdayanI saccAIne koNe sanmAnI che? koNe svIkArI che? RSidattA bhale pitAjI mATe putravadhU hatI, parAyA gharanI kanyA hatI, paraMtu huM to emano putra hato ne? RSidanAnI saccAI upara bhale emane vizvAsa na Ave, paraMtu potAnA putra upara paNa avizvAsa? pitAno putra upara avizvAsa! pitAjIe mAnI ja lIdhuM hatuM ke huM RSidattAnA premamAM AMdhaLo banI gayo chuM ane eTalA mATe huM RSidattAnA duSparitrane jANavA chatAM chUpAvuM chuM. mane rAjyanI prajA karatAM RSidattA upara vadhu rAga che! A badhI pitAjInI dhAraNAo hatI. je pitAjIno meM aparaMpAra sneha meLavyo hato... je pitAjI pratye mArA hRdayamAM atyaMta Adara hato, bhakti hatI, bahumAna hatuM.... ane pitAjI jANatA hatA A badhuM! paraMtu mArA pratyenI emanI zraddhA tUTI gaI! kAraNa ke duniyAmAM eka mAnyatA dRDha thayelI che ke patnInA gADha premamAM paDelo putra potAnAM mAtA-pitAno nathI raheto! mAtA-pitA icchatA hoya che ke putra enI patnI karatAM potAnAM mAtA-pitAne vadhu cAhe! mAtA-pitAnI khAtara patnIno tyAga karavo paDe to kare, paraMtu patnInI khAtara mAtA-pitAno tyAga na kare! pachI bhale patnI nirdoSa hoya ane mAtA-pitA doSita hoya! For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #80
68 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM mArA manamAM AvA yAhIna Adarza pratye napharata jAgI gaI. Adarza mAnavI khAtara ke mAnavI Adarza khAtara? bhale, maLelA purAvAonA AdhAre pitAjIe RSidattAne hatyArI mAnI lIdhI, paraMtu jo emane mArA pratye sneha hato, zraddhA hatI to emaNe mArI vAta sAMbhaLavI joItI hatI, mAnavI joItI hatI paraMtu pelI jogaNanI vAta sAMbhaLyA pachI emano mArA pratye sneha rahyo ja na hato. jogaNanI vAta emane sAcI lAgI... ane sAcI lAgI jAya evI e vAta hatI.... RSidattAnuM mukha lohIthI kharaDAyeluM guptacaroe joI lIdhuM hatuM.... mAMsanA TukaDA paNa joI lIdhA hatA.... te chatAM RSidattAne nirdoSa mAnavA eka vikalpa hato! RSidattAnuM nirdoSa vyaktitva e eka rAjarSinI putrI hatI. pavitra AzramamAM janmelI ane UcharelI hatI. pitAjI RSidattAnA pitAne jANatA hatA. mane pitAjIe vAta paNa karI hatI. AvI RSikanyA hatyArI na ja hoI zake. jarUra enI sAthe koI AsurI tattva ramata ramI rahyuM che : Ama enI nirdoSatA puravAra thaI zakata, paraMtu te mATe pitAjI vicAravA ja taiyAra na hatA. jo ke mane pelo divasa yAda AvI gayo... sarvaprathama meM jyAre RSidattAnuM mukha lohIthI kharaDAyeluM joIne ane mAMsanA TukaDA enA ozIkA pAse paDelA joIne je ugra rUpa dhAraNa karyuM hatuM ane RSidattAne je kaDavA zabdo saMbhaLAvyA hatA. huM dhrUjI UThyo.... RSidattAnI AMkho tyAre kevI AMsuothI chalakAI gaI hatI. enA mukha upara kevI karuNatA chavAI gaI hatI! alabatta turta ja meM mArI bhUla sudhArI lIdhI hatI. paraMtu eka vAra bhUla to thaI ja gaI hatI! lagna pachInA thoDA ja mahinAomAM kevI du:khada ghaTanA banI gaI hatI? na dhArelI... na kalpelI e du:khadAyI ghaTanAe mAro ja tana-manane toDI nAMkhyAM hatAM ema na hatuM, mArI mAtAnI paNa evI ja paristhiti sarjAI hatI. rAjamahelanA dAsa-dAsIonI paNa evI dazA thaI hatI. koNa kone AzvAsana Ape? koInA mukha upara AnaMda nahoto. koI bolatuM na hatuM. koI khuzI na hatI. khAmozI ane vivazatAnAM ghanaghora vAdaLo rAjamahela upara chavAI gayAM hatAM. nagaramAM prajAjanonI hatyA thatI baMdha thaI gaI hatI, paraMtu RSidattAnI thayelI krUra hatyAnI vedanAthI prajAjano kAramI vedanA anubhavatA hatA. eka mAtra mArA pitAjI evA hatA ke jemane koI duHkha ke vedanAno anubhava na For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM hato. hA, mArI kathaLatI jatI tabiyatanA kAraNe kadAca teo ciMtAtura haze... kAraNa ke huM emano putra hato ne? mane jema bhojana, vastra, AbhUSaNa upara koI rAga na rahyo, tema saMsAranI koI vyakti pratye paNa prema na rahyo. mAruM mana virakta banatuM gayuM. samagra saMsAra udAsInatAthI bharelo bhAsavA lAgyo. huM rAjamahelanI bahAra jato na hato. kyAM jAuM? kyAreka saMdhyA samaye mArA mahelanA jharUkhe Ubho rahI DUbatA sUryane joto, kyAreka dUra dUra cAlI jatI mauna vaNajhArone joto! mAruM mana nirAzApUrNa viraktimAM DUbI jatuM hatuM. jIvana karatAM mane mRtyu vadhAre gamavA lAgyuM. jIvana jIvavAnuM koI prayojana rahyuM na hatuM. alabatta tyAre huM jANato na hato ke mRtyu pachI paNa jIvana maLavAnuM hoya che! mRtyu pachI maLanAruM e jIvana kevuM hoya che, e tattvajJAna mArI pAse na hatuM. huM to mArA viSAdapUrNa jIvanane jIravavA zaktimAna na hatI... eTale mRtyu sAthe vahAla karavA mAMDyo hato. hA, UMDe UMDe e jhaMkhanA hatI ke mRtyu pachInA jIvanamAM RSidattA maLI jAya to? bAlyakALamAM mAtA pAse sAMbhaLelI vArtAomAM meM evuM sAMbhaLeluM hatuM ke vartamAna jIvananAM premI yugalo jo emano prema sAco hoya to bIjA jIvanamAM paNa emanuM milana thAya che....... mArA hRdayamAM mRtyu pachInA RSidattA sAthenA milananI jhaMkhanA jAgI gaI. huM khUba vihvaLa banI gayo. ApaghAta karIne jIvanano aMta lAvI devAnA vicArothI huM gherAI gayo; paraMtu mArI AsapAsa pitAjIe evo cokIpahero mUkI dIdho hato ke huM evuM kaMI ja karI zakavA asamartha hato. kadAca pitAjIne mArI manaHsthitino khyAla AvI gayo haze! meM pitAjInI pAse javAnuM choDI dIdhuM hatuM. huM emanI sAme jovA ke emanI sAthe bolavA paNa rAjI na hato. pitAjIe paNa mauna dhAraNa karyuM hatuM. mAtra mArI mAtA mArA zayanakhaMDamAM avAranavAra AvI jatI hatI. mArA mAthe hAtha mUkI thoDI kSaNa paMpALI jatI hatI, maunapaNe saMvedanA vyakta karI jatI hatI. nokaro ane dAsIo yaMtravatu potAnAM kAma karye jatAM hatAM. huM jANato hato ke e sahunAM haiyAM RSidattA vinA sUnAM sUnAM hatAM. mArI vedanA emanAM haiyAMnI vedanA banI gaI hatI. mane kyAreka e paricArako ane paricArikAo pratye dayAM paNa AvI jatI hatI.... chatAM eka zabda paNa bolI zakato na hato. virakta banelA manamAM eka divasa RSidattAnA AzramanI smRti prabaLa banI gaI. AzramamAM AveluM bhagavAna RSabhadevanuM maMdira ane maMdiramAM For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #82
70. pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM birAjamAna bhagavAna RSabhadevanI bhUmi yAda AvI gaI. RSidattA sAthe divaso sudhI e paramAtmAnAM darzana-pUjana karyA hatAM. kalAkonA kalAko e paramAtmAnAM stavana gAvAmAM vitAvyAM hatAM. e badhuM evuM yAda AvI gayuM ke huM palaMgathI nIce UtarI gayo ane zayanagRhanA dvAre pahoMcI gayo. Azrame pahoMcI javA mana taDapI rahyuM. tyAM sAme ja mArI mAtA AvIne UbhI, mArA baMne hAtha potAnA hAthamAM laI mAtAe snehabharyA zabdomAM pUchyuM : vatsa! kyAM javuM che?" huM mauna rahyo. mAtAnI sAme joI rahyo. beTA, jo tAre udyAnamAM javuM hoya to ratha maMgAvuM ane huM paNa tArI sAthe AvuM! have tuM kaMIka svastha thA... tArI becenI... tAro viSAda mArAthI have sahana nathI thato.." mAtAe sADInA pAlavathI AMsu lUkyAM, mAtAne kahyuM : mA, mAre RSidattAnA AzramamAM javuM che. tyAM bhagavAna RSabhadevanuM maMdira che. e maMdira mane khUba game che. mAre tyAM javuM che.. tuM cAla mArI sAthe." mAtA mArI sAme joI rahI. meM kahyuM : "mA, tuM cAla mArI sAthe ane jo e Azramane, jyAM RSidattA janmI hatI ane UcharI hatI. evA pavitra sthaLamAM janmanAra ane UcharanAra kanyA zuM hiMsaka hoI zake? tyAM to hiMsaka pazuo ane hiMsaka mANaso paNa ahiMsaka banI jAya! e AzramanI dhULamAMthI dayA ane karuNAnAM puSpo khIle che. e AzramanI havAmAM premanuM saMgIta guMje che, mA! tuM eka vAra jo e Azramane. ane pachI mArA pitAjIne batAva. e paramAtmA RSabhadevanA ramaNIya maMdirane joje. paramAtmAnI manohara mUrtinAM darzana karaje. e badhuM tuM pratyakSa jo. pitAjI pratyakSa jue tyAre RSidattAne, enA vyaktitvane oLakhI zakaze." huM A badhuM ekI zvAse bolI rahyo hato. kadAca A bhAvAvezamAM mArI tabiyata bagaDI jAya, tethI mAtAne gabharAmaNa thaI gaI! mAtAe kahyuM : vatsa, tuM svastha thaI jA. pachI huM tArI sAthe e AzramamAM AvIza. bhagavAna RSabhadevanAM darzana karIza ane rAjarSinI samAdhine sparza karI kRtArtha thaIza.... paraMtu beTA, have tuM viSAda tyajI de. have tuM rAjakAjamAM tArA manane parovI de." snehathI vivaza karavAno prayatna karatI mAtAe mArA mastake AliMgana ApyuM, mAruM mana AkraMda karI rahyuM hatuM. meM mAtAnA khoLAmAM mAruM mastaka DhALI dIdhuM. huM rudanane rokI zakyo nahIM. mAM paNa codhAra AMsue raDI paDI. For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 71 mAro zayanakhaMDa azrujalathI bhIno thaI gayo hato, e bhInAzamAM RSidattAnI chAyA mane dekhAvA lAgI.... jANe mane dilAso ApavA na AvI hoya. meM 'RSidattA... RSidattA....' bUma pADI.... mAtAe mane pakaDIne palaMga upara suvADyo ane paMkho laI mane havA nAMkhavA lAgI. divaso eka pachI eka vItatA hatA. mAruM mana dhIre dhIre paramAtmAnI bhakti tarapha vaLatuM hatuM, kAraNa ke RSidattAne paramAtmabhakti khUba gamatI hatI. RSidattA je paramAtmabhaktinAM gIto gAtI, te gIto mane yAda hatAM, huM e ja gIto gAvA mAMDyo. duniyAdArInI vAto mane aNagamatI thaI hatI. rAjakArabhAranI vAtothI huM sAva alipta thaI gayo hato. pitAjInI sAthe huM koI ja vAta karato na hato, dhIre dhIre pitAjI taraphano mAro roSa ocho thaI gayo hato, paraMtu te chatAM emanA pratye hRdayamAM sadUbhAva to jAgI zake ema hato ja nahIM. RSidattA sAthe temaNe karelo bhayaMkara durvyavahAra huM bhUlI zakuM ema hato ja nahIM. bIjI bAju, mAruM mana rAjapATathI virakta banI gayuM hatuM. pitAjI taraphathI mane koI apekSAo rahI na hatI. eka divasa meM mAtAne kahyuM paNa hatuM ke 'huM RSidattAnA AzramamAM jaIne mAruM zeSa jIvana vyatIta karavA icchuM chuM. mane A rAjamahela ane rAjamahelanA vaibhavo upara jarAya rAga nathI.' paraMtu mAtAe mane anumati na ApI. khera, te chatAM meM dhIre dhIre rAjakumAranA jIvanano tyAga karI, sAmAnya manuSyanuM jIvana jIvavA mAMDyuM hatuM. pitAjInA manamAM ema haze ke 'duHkhanuM osaDa dahADA! divaso vItatA jaze tema kumAra RSidattAne bhUlato jaze....' paraMtu emanI dhAraNA khoTI paDI. huM RSidattAne bhUlI zakyo ja nahIM, RSidattAnA sthAne bIjI koI strI pratye anurAgI paNa banI zakyo nahIM. mArA manamAM koI paNa strI pratye anurAga ja janmato na hato, meM mArA hRdayano prema paramAtmAnA caraNe dharI dIdho hato. pitAjIe mArI mAtA dvArA mane bIjI koI rAjakumArI sAthe lagna karI levA samajAvavAno prayatna karyo, paraMtu mArA mATe e vAta azakya hatI. meM namratApUrvaka mAtAne kahI dIdhuM ke 'mArI pAse A vAta tuM kyAreya karIza nahIM. mArA jIvanamAM have bIjI koI strI pravezI zakaze nahIM.' mAtA mAruM mana dukhavavAmAM jarAya rAjI na hatI. e to pratipaLa mArA sukhano ja vicAra karanArI hatI, mArA duHkhe du:khI thanArI hatI. RSidattA pratye paNa mAtAnA hRdayamAM to mamatA ja hatI. RSidattAne mAtA nirdoSa ja mAnatI hatI. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #84
72 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM be mahinA vItI gayA hatA. rAjamahelanuM jIvana rAbetA mujabanuM thatuM jatuM hatuM. mArA mitro mArAM manane praphullita karavAnA prayatno karatA hatA. paraMtu meM emane kahI dIdhuM ke teo evA prayatno na kare. be mahinA vIte ke be varSa vIte.. jiMdagI vItI jAya, paraMtu huM RSeidattAne bhUlI zakuM ema ja na hato. RSidattA sivAya koI strI pratye mAruM mana rAgI bane e zakya ja na hatuM. eka divasa mArA zayanakhaMDamAM huM jamIna para ArAma karI rahyo hato, tyAM mAtAe zayanakhaMDamAM praveza karyo. meM UbhA thaIne mAtAnAM caraNomAM namana karyuM. mAtAe mastake be hAtha mUkI AzIrvAda ApyA. ame mA-dIkaro jamIna para beThAM. mAtAe mauna toDyuM : "vatsa! hamaNAM huM tArA pitAjI pAsethI sIdhI ahIM AvI chuM. Aje rAjasabhAmAM kAverI nagarIthI rAjadUta Avelo hato. kAverIpatino saMdezo laIne Avyo hato. jyAre tuM rukimaNI sAthe lagna karavA kAverI na pahoMcyo ane mArgamAMthI ja RSidattAne laI pAcho pharyo, tArAM RSidattA sAthe lagna thaI gayAM, A samAcAra kmiNIne maLyA, to nirAza thaI gaI. teNe pratijJA karI che ke huM paraNIza to kanakarathakumArane ja paraNIza. e sivAya koIne A jIvanamAM paraNIza nahIM.' kAverIpati ciMtAmAM paDI gayA. temaNe potAnI putrIne bIjA koI rAja kumAra sAthe lagna karI levA khUba samajAvI, paraMtu putrI samajatI ja nathI. chevaTe dUtane tArA pitAjI pAse mokalIne saMdezo kahevarAvyo che ke "game tema karIne rAja kumArane samajAvIne, rukmiNI sAthe lagna karavA kumArane kAverI mokalo. ApaNA varSothI mITho saMbaMdha che. e saMbaMdhathI prerAIne Apane A saMdezo mokalyo che. mArI putrInA jIvanamaraNano prazna che...' - kAverIpatino A saMdezo sAMbhaLIne tArA pitAjI khUba mUMjhAI gayA che. temaNe mane bolAvI ane kahyuM ke "tuM game tema karIne paNa kumArane samajAva. je banavAkALa hatuM te banI gayuM che.... mane e vAtanuM ghaNuM duHkha thAya che. paraMtu have rukmiNInA jIvanano vicAra karavo joIe." mAtAe mArI sAme joyuM. mArI dRSTi dharatI upara sthira hatI. huM mAtAnI vAta dhyAnathI sAMbhaLato hato. vAta sAMbhaLI kharI, paraMtu mArA haiyAmAM rukmiNI tarapha koI anurAga na pragaTyo. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #85
93 duHkha, vedanA ane ajaMpAthI mAruM mana vihvaLa hatuM, tyAM rukmiNI sAthe lagna karavA, kAverI nagarI javAnI mAtAe vAta karI. smRtinA saMgrahasthAnamAM RSidattAnI pratimA akhaMDa hatI. enuM kSaNe kSaNe smaraNa hatuM. paLe paLe enI yAdamAM mAruM mana ramaNa hatuM. mane mAtAnI vAta jarAya na gamI.... huM mauna rahyo. mAtA paNa mauna rahI. e divase e cAlI gaI. huM jANato hato ke mAtAe mAtra pitAjInA saMdezAvAhakanuM kAma karyuM hatuM. pitAjI jANatA hatA ke huM mArI mAtAnI AjJAne, mAtAnI icchAne kyAreya avagaNato na hato. bIjA divase paNa mAtAe kAverI javAnI ane rukmiNI sAthe lagna karavAnI vAta kADhI. meM duHkhabharyA zabdomAM mAne kahyuM : "mA, tuM paNa mane rukmiNI sAthe lagna karavAnuM kahe che? tuM zuM mArA mananI vyAkuLatA nathI jANatI? huM RSidattA sivAya koI strImAM patnInI kalpanA paNa nathI karI zakato.. haju RSidattAnI nirmama ane niSphara hatyA thayAne be mahinA paNa vItyA nathI, e krUra hatyAnA kALA paDachAyA haju A rAjamahela upara ane nagara upara chavAyelA che.... viSAda... nirAzA ane vivazatAnA karuNa svaro haju vAtAvaraNane gamagIna banAvI rahyA che.. tyAre huM lagnanI zaraNAIo vagaDAvuM? huM zaNagAra sajuM..? mA, tuM A vAta ja na kara... A vAta kyAreya na karIza. A jIvanamAM have bIjI koI strIno praveza saMbhavita nathI." be hAthanI hatheLIo para mukha TekavIne, nIcI najare mAtA mArI vAta sAMbhaLI rahI hatI. enA mukha uparanI komaLatA para vedanAno kALo raMga phelAyelo hato. tenI snehabharI AMkhomAM vivazatA pratibiMbita thaI rahI hatI. tenA mukhamAMthI thoDoka niHzvAsa sarI paDyo. tenI AMkhomAMthI becAra AMsu sarI paDyAM... teNe sADInA pAlavathI e AMsu lUchI nAMkhyAM. te UbhI thaI ane pazcima dizAnA jharUkhAmAM jaIne UbhI rahI gaI. huM paNa palaMga uparathI Ubho thaI mAnI pAse jaIne Ubho rahyo. mAe karuNAbhInI AMkhe mArI sAme joyuM ane dUra dUra kSitija para enI dRSTi sthira thaI gaI. teNe mAro hAtha pakaDyo ane mArI sAme joyuM. e bhadrAsana para besI gaI. huM enA caraNomAM jamIna para besI gayo. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #86
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM beTA, tArI vedanA huM samajI zakuM chuM. tArI vedanA e mArI vedanA banI gaI che... koNa sahRdayI mAnavI tArI vyathAne na samajI zake? paraMtu A saMsAre hamezAM bhAvuka hRdayone kacaryA che... mATe ja tIrthakaroe saMsArane duHkharUpa kahyo che.... karmonI parAdhInatAmAM duHkha, trAsa ane vedanA ja jIvAtmAne bhogavavAnI che... bhale ne ApaNe rAjamahelamAM hoIe, bhale ne ApaNI pAse vipula bhogasAmagrI hoya.... chatAM Aje ApaNe sukhano zvAsa laI zakatAM nathI... prasannatAno pamarATa anubhartI zakatAM nathI... kharekhara tane kahuM beTA? mAruM to mana ja A saMsAranAM bhogasukhothI virakta banI gayuM che... A rAjamahela mane jelakhAnuM lAge che... pAMca indriyonAM viSayasukho mane viSa samAM lAge che.... mokSamArganI ArAdhanA mATe mana taDapI rahyuM che..... gaI rAtre ja AMkha khUlI gaI ane mana tIvratAthI bolI UThyuM : "aMdhArI rAta che.... nIkaLI jA rAjamahelamAMthI... pahoMcI jA gurudevanA caraNomAM.... sarva sukhono tyAga karI banI jA sAdhvI..... banI jA zramaNI.....' tyAM smRtipaTa para tuM AvI gayo, beTA! mAtRtva saLavaLyuM hRdayamAM, tane AvI azAMta ane kalAnta manaHsthitimAM mUkIne huM kema cAlI jAuM? A paNa baMdhana che, vatsa! snehanuM baMdhana! rAganuM baMdhana! hA, e baMdhana paNa tUTI jaze eka divasa.... tane zAMta, prasanna ane AnaMdamagna jaIza tyAre e baMdhana tUTI jaze.... ane huM saMsAravAsano tyAga karIza.... zarIranI paNa mamatA tyajIne tapazcaryAnA caraNe jIvana samarpita karIza.... Aje sarvaprathama mAtAnA mukhe A agama-agocaranI vAto sAMbhaLato hato. mA svasthatAthI bolatI hatI. eno eka eka zabda enA aMtarAtmAmAMthI pragaTI rahyo hato. tenI UMDI samaja, tenuM unnata dhyeya ane mAnavajIvananI saphaLatA aMge enI jAgRti.... A badhuM joI.... huM gadgad thaI gayo. mAnA caraNomAM mastaka mUkI raDI paDyo... mAruM hRdaya atyaMta bhAvuka banI gayuM. kSaNo mATe huM mAruM duHkha bhUlI gayo.... mAtAnI hRdayavyathAe mane vyAkuLa karI dIdho. huM zuM karuM, mA?' "tuM tArA pitAnI icchA mujaba kAverI jA ane rukmiNI sAthe lagna karI le." mAtAe AkAza sAme dRSTi sthira karI, gaMbhIra ane spaSTa zabdomAM kahI dIdhuM. to zuM tAruM mana rAjI thaze? tAruM citta prasanna thaze?" For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #87
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 75 beTA, tArA pitAjI rAjI thaze, emanuM citta prasanna thaze ane e karavuM tAruM kartavya che. mArI cittaprasannatA to have paramAtmAnA pAvana caraNomAM ja che. meM A saMsArane samajI lIdho che. saMsAranAM sukha paNa duHkharUpa che! saMsAranI zAMti paNa azAMtinI nidrA che! beTA, A duniyAmAM mAtra kartavyanI bhUmikA nibhAvavAnI che.... RSitAnI AsapAsa banI gayelI sArI-narasI dhaTanAoe mane.... mArA manane saMsArathI virakta banAvI dIdhuM che.' to pachI mA, tuM ane huM ApaNe baMne saMsArano tyAga karIne koI AzramamAM.... koI gurudevanA caraNomAM jaI AtmasAdhanAmAM lIna thaI jaIe! mane paNa have A saMsAranAM sukho pratye koI ja anurAga nathI! mane AzramanuM zAMta ane prasanna jIvana khUba game che." AjanA ApaNA saMyogomAM e asaMbhava che. tArA pitAjI rAjA che, sattAdhIza che.... sAthe sAthe emanA hRdayamAM tArA mATe ane mArA mATe bhArobhAra anurAga paDelo che. bhale tArA hRdayamAM emanA mATe anurAga na hoya ke mArA hRdayamAM emanA pratye Asakti na hoya. saMsAramAM kyAreka AvuM kartavyapAlana karavuM anivArya hoya che.... ke ApaNane jenA pratye rAga na hoya, prema na hoya, chatAM ene ApaNA pratye rAga hoya, sneha hoya tyAre enA snehane saMbhALavo paDe! enA hRdayane agni rAkhavuM paDe.... te mATe ApaNe ApaNI lAgaNIone kacaravI paDe! tane khabara che? jo tuM ane huM saMsAratyAganI vAta karIe ne tyAM ja tArA pitAjIne evo AMcako lAge ke emanI hRdayagati baMdha paDI jAya.... ane..." mA vihvaLa banI gaI. teNe potAnA baMne hAthamAM mAruM mukha pakaDI lIdhuM ane mArA mukhane paMpALavA lAgI. mArA manamAM mAnI A vAtano eka UMdho pratyAghAta paDyo hato. meM mAne kahyuM : mA, tuM pitAjInA hRdayane AghAta na pahoMce, e vAta kare che. paraMtu pitAjIe zuM mArA ane RSidattAnA hRdayanA TukaDe TukaDA nathI karI nAMkhyA? emaNe amArA para sitama varasAvavAmAM zuM bAkI rAkhyuM che? to pachI mAre emanA hRdayano vicAra zA mATe karavo joIe? bIjI vAta kahuM? emanA hRdayamAM bhale tArA tarapha anurAga hoya. paNa mArA pratye emanA hRdhyamAM jarAya sneha nathI, jarAya anurAga nathI, temanuM hRdaya niSphara che. evA hRdayanI mAre zA mATe ciMtA karavI joIe? huM saMsAravAsa tyajI dauM to emane koI duHkha thavAnuM nathI." For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #88
76 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM beTA, tyAM ja tArI bhUla thAya che. mAnavanA mananI vicitratAo aparaMpAra che. tArA upara to emane anurAga che ja, tAro jenA upara prema hato e RSidattA emane aparAdhinI lAgI.... rAkSasI lAgI... prajAnI hatyAnI prakriyA evI ekataraphI thaI gaI ke emAM tArA pitAjI e na vicArI zakyA ke "rAja kumAranA hRdayanuM zuM thaze? mane bhale RSidattA rAkSasI lAge che, paraMtu rAjakumArane to te prANathI paNa vadhu pyArI che... RSidattA vinA ene eka kSaNa paNa cena nathI paDatuM.. enuM zuM thaze?' A vicAra emanA asvastha, ciMtAmagna ane vyAkuLa manamAM na AvI zakyo. kadAca tAro vicAra emane Avyo haze to emaNe ema vicArIne potAnA mananuM samAdhAna karyuM haze ke mArA kumArane A RSidattA karatAM paNa caDhiyAtI rAjakumArI sAthe paraNAvIza. " vatnA vasudhA' - AvI RSidattAo bIjI paNa maLI raheze. paNa AvI rAkSasIne to jIvatI na ja rakhAya." kumAra! moTA bhAge mAnavI strI-puruSanA saMbaMdhane eTalA mATe Avazyaka mAne che ke ethI ene zArIrika-vaiSayika sukhanI prApti thAya, saMtAnasukhanI prApti thAya.... pArivArika jIvananA sukhanI prApti thAya.... basa, ATaluM maLyuM eTale lagnajIvana saphaLa! saMsAre kyAreya premanA pavitra tattvane mahattva nathI ApyuM. zArIrika ane pArivArika sukho karatAM mAnasika premanuM sukha, nirapekSa premanuM sukha caDhiyAtuM che, A vAta koNa samaje che A duniyAmAM! strInuM sukha joIe che ne? eka strI marI gaI to bIjI laI Avo! strI vinA gharamAM agavaDa paDe che ne? bIjI strIne gharamAM besADI do! duniyAnI A rItarasama che. tArA pitAjIe tArA mATe A rIte vicAryuM hoya... RSidattA ane tArA AMtarika.... mAnasika.... Atmika saMbaMdhanI dRSTie tAro vicAra teo kevI rIte karI zake...? huM mAnI arthapUrNa vAta sAMbhaLato ja rahyo. mAnI vAta mane yathArtha lAgI. mAnI gaMbhIra vicAradhArA mArA hRdayane sparzI gaI. mAe mArI AMkhomAM dRSTi sthira karIne kahyuM : kanaka! have tuM strInA hRdayano vicAra kara. tuM RSidattAne khUba cAhato hato, eno viyoga thayo, tAruM mana keTalI ane kevI ghora vyathA anubhave che? priyano viyoga manuSyane kevo duHkhI karI nAMkhe che? te vAta teM anubhavI ne? tuM e ja rIte rukmiNIno vicAra kara. rukmiNI tane cAhe che. enA hRdayamAM tArA mATe atyaMta prIti che. e For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM priyanI aprApti..... priyane pAmavAnI jhaMkhanA... ene keTalI vyathA upajAvatI haze? eNe saMkalpa karyo che ke "huM lagna karIza to kanakaratha sAthe ja karIza, bIjA sAthe nahIM!' zuM tAre enA hRdayanI kadara na karavI joIe? enA saMtapta hRdayane zAMti na ApavI joIe? tuM bIjAne sukha Apa, tane sukha maLaze.' meM mAtAne bolatI aTakAvIne, vacce ja kahyuM : "mA, zuM rukmiNI sAthe lagna karavA mAtrathI ene huM sukha ApI zakIza? mArA hRdayamAM jenA pratye koI anurAga nathI, koI snehanI saravANI phUTI nathI, enI sAthe lagna karavAno zo artha? lagna karyA pachI...enI mArA taraphanI apekSAo huM pUrNa nahIM karI zakuM tyAre ene keTaluM duHkha thaze? huM e rIte ene duHkhI karavA nathI icchato." beTA, mananA bhAvo parivartanazIla che. Aje jenA pratye dveSa hoya, bIjA divase enA pratye rAga jAge che! Aje jenA pratye rAga hoya, bIjA divase enA pratye dveSa jAge che! saMsAramAM AvuM banatuM hoya che! RSidanAne laIne tuM ahIM Avyo tyAre tArA pitAjInA hRdayamAM RSidanA pratye sneha-vAtsalya ane sadUbhAva hatAM ke nahIM? pachI enA ja pratye ghora dveSa jAgyo! tArA hRdayamAM tArA pitAjI tarapha anurAga hato ke nahIM? Aje aNagamo jAgI gayo che ne? ema, Aje bhale rukmiNI pratye tArA hRdayamAM sneha na hoya, lagna pachI sneha Agaze! 'paNa mAnI le ke sneha na jAgyo to? enuM zuM thaze?' pachI jevuM enuM bhAgya!' "eTale?' eTale e ja ke chevaTe sukha-duHkhano AdhAra enAM zubha-azubha karmo hoya che. puNyano udaya AtmAmAM hoya tyAM sudhI sukhano prakAza ane puNyano asta thayo.. pApanI rAta jAmI eTale duHkhano gADha aMdhakAra! sukhaduHkhanI bAbatamAM mAnavIno puruSArtha gauNa hoya che, enuM prArabdha ja mukhya niyAmaka hoya che. beTA, puNyakarma ane pApakarmanA siddhAMtone tuM samajIza to tane ghaNI ghaNI samasyAonA samAdhAna maLI jaze.' huM vicAramAM DUbI gayo. paricArikAe mAtAne ane mane pANI ApyuM. pANI pIne mAtAe potAnI vAta AgaLa calAvI. kanaka, bIjI eka mahattvanI vAta tane kahuM? te mane nahotuM kahyuM, "mAre RSidattAnA AzramamAM javuM che?' kahyuM hatuM ne? Ama to tane tArA pitAjI For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #90
78 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM AzramamAM nahIM javA de , paraMtu jo tuM kAverI javA saMmata thAya to tAre kAverI e ja mArge javAnuM che ne? mArgamAM e Azrama Avaze! tuM tyAM thoDA divasa rokAI paNa zakIza... tAruM mana paNa haLavuM banaze, tane tyAM praphullitatA prApta thaze... pachI tuM kAverI jaje, mAtAnI A vAta mane gamI gaI.... khUba gamI gaI... huM A mahela ane nagara choDIne dUra dUra cAlyA javAnuM to vicArato ja hato... AzramamAM javAnI paNa tIvra icchA hatI.... mane mAtAnI A vAta gamI gaI.... mukti maLatI lAgIrukmiNInAM sukhaduHkhano vicAra meM enA puNyapApanI khIMTIe vaLagADI dIdho.... Azrama.... ane RSidattA.... mArA manane kheMcanArAM e be prabaLa nimitta hatAM. mArA mukha upara malakATa AvI gayo. meM mAtAne kAverI javAnI saMmati ApI dIdhI! mAe mArA mastake cuMbana karyuM ane prasanna vadane te vidAya lIdhI. teNe pitAjIne A zubha samAcAra ApavAnA hatA ne? pitAjIne pelA kAverIpatinA dUtane javAba ApavAno hato! e dUte kAverI jaIne kAverIpatine ane emanI rAjakumArIne zubha samAcAra ApavAnA hatA.... mArA mahelanI AsapAsa goThavAyelA sainiko khaseDI levAyA. mane mahelanI bahAra javAnI chUTa maLI gaI.... huM AzramanI sRSTimAM khovAyo-khovAyo rahevA lAgyo. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #91
14 meM kAverI tarapha prayANa karI dIdhuM. pitAjI khUba prasanna thayA. mArI mAtA paNa prasanna thaI. eNe mane khUba vAtsalyathI vidAya ApI. hRdayamAM vedanA hatI, saMtApa hato, chatAM lokavyavahArane anusaratAM meM mArA mukha upara smita pharakAvyuM ane parivAranI vidAya lIdhI. maMtrIvarga, senA ane sevakagaNanI sAthe mAruM prayANa AraMbhAI gayuM. mArA rathamAM huM ekalo ja hato. e ja mArge ratha doDI rahyo hato ke je mArgethI huM RSidattAne laIne Avyo hato. Aje mArA rathamAM e na hatI.. chatAM enI smRti pratipaLa jIvaMta hatI. priya vyaktinI smRtithI mukta banavAnI mArI zakti na hatI. eno sahavAsa.... kSaNika sahavAsa atyaMta sukhada hato... mATe eno viraha.... enuM karapINa mRtyu.. ane enI smRti mArA hRdayane vyathAthI valovI rahI hatI. e ja mArga... e ja vRkSo ane e ja jaLAzayo hato. A mArge huM te pachI pahelI ja vAra Avyo hato. RSidattAe A mArge AvatAM sthaLe sthaLe vAvelA. vRkSo... mArganI AjubAju nAjuka choDa svarUpe.... lIlAMchama banIne UbhA hatAM. jevI komaLatA ane nAjukatA RSidattAmAM hatI tevI ja nAju katA ane teTalI ja komaLatA A choDavAomAM hatI! keTalI utkaTatAthI.... keTalAM ullAsathI eNe e vRkSAropaNa karyuM hatuM....! sthaLe sthaLe rathamAMthI UtarIne e vRkSAropaNa karatI hatI ane e karatI vakhate vAraMvAra snehapUrNa locanothI e mArI sAme jotI hatI.... enI mArI pAsethI e apekSA hatI ke huM tene vRkSa vAvatAM rokuM nahIM! paNa bhalA, huM ene kevI rIte rokata? priya.... atyaMta priya vyaktinuM kArya eTaluM ja priya lAgatuM hoya che ne! je RSikanyA eka yuvarAjJI banI gaI hatI... tene eka grAmakanyAnI jema vRkSAropaNa karatI joIne mArI sAthenA mANasone jarUra aruci ke Azcarya thayuM haze; mane to enI dareka pravRtti AnaMda ApanArI ja lAgatI hatI. enI dareka pravRtti aucityapUrNa thatI hatI. amAruM prayANa avirata cAluM hatuM. mAtra bhojanAdi Avazyaka kAryo mATe For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #92
80. pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM ja ame rokAtA hatA. jyAM ame e ramaNIya pradezamAM praveza karyo tyAre mArA zarIramAM romAMca thayo. mArAM romerome harSanAM phUla khIlI UThyAM.... e lIlAMchama vRkSo... vRkSonI DALI para madhura kalarava karI rahelAM paMkhIo, yatra tatra vahI rahelAM jharaNAMo... kUdAkUda karI rahelAM mRgabaccAMo...vRkSaparNothI AcchAdita zilApaTTako ane svaccha gulAbI retIthI chavAyelAM vizALa medAno.... sarvatra sauMdarya hatuM... mArA hRdaye kSaNika AnaMda anubhavyo. azAMta hRdaya sauMdaryane kadAca joI zake, paNa mANI to na ja zake; ane, huM ahIM sauMdarya mANavA ja Avyo hato? sauMdaryane mANavAnI icchAo ja upazAMta thaI gaI hatI. RSidattA vinAnuM jIvana ja akAruM banI gayuM hatuM. mArI icchA e rAjarSinA AzramamAM ja paDAva nAkhavAnI hatI. meM mahAmaMtrIne sUcanA ApI ane mAro ratha Azrama tarapha doDavA lAgyo. samagra parivAra paNa mArI pAchaLa AvavA lAgyo. thoDI ja kSaNomAM meM dUrathI bhagavAna RSabhadevanA e suMdara jinAlayanAM darzana karyA. meM romAMca anubhavyo. mArI jamaNI AMkha skurAyamAna thavA lAgI. AzramanA dvAre ja meM mArA rathane Ubho rAkhyo. rathamAMthI UtarIne meM AzramamAM praveza karyo. AzramanA eka-eka vRkSa sAthe mAre oLakhANa hatI! AzramanA eka-eka paththara sAthe mAre paricaya hato. bhagavAna RSabhanA e maMdiranA eka-eka sopAna sAthe mAre prema hato. bhagavAna RSabhanI nayanaramya mUrti sAthe to jANe AtmIyatA ja sadhAI gaI hatI. RSidattAnA saMge e prabhunAM darzana-pUjana ane stavanamAM aneka divasa apUrva AnaMda anubhavelo hato. jinAlayanAM sopAna caDhIne meM maMdiramAM praveza karyo. tribhuvanapati paramAtmAnAM darzana thatAM ja hRdaya gadgad banI gayuM, romarAjI vikasvara thaI gaI.... AMkho harSanAM AMsuothI UbharAI gaI. meM bhAvasabhara hRdaye paramAtmAnI stavanA karI. traNa vAra paMcAMga praNipAta karyA... ane AMkho baMdha karIne paramAtmAnA caraNomAM besI gayo. mane baMdha AMkhe paramAtmAnI prasanna mudrAnAM darzana thavA lAgyAM... paramAtmAnA nayanomAMthI karuNAmRta jharatuM dekhAyuM! kharekhara, mAro zoka, udvega ane saMtApa dUra thaI gayAM. AMtaraAnaMdathI mAruM hRdaya chalakavA lAgyuM. huM samajI zakato na hato ke mane zuM thaI rahyuM che! mArA bhAvonuM gajaba parivartana huM anubhavI rahyo hato. mane khyAla na rahyo ke huM keTalo samaya tyAM prabhunA caraNomAM besI rahyo! For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #93
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM jyAre huM jinAlayanI bahAra Avyo, meM eka RSikumArane maMdiranAM sopAna caDhato joyo. huM e RSikumArane joI ja rahyo ! e eka khUbasUrata RSikumAra hato. enA mukha upara prasannatA hatI. e prasannatA enA sauMdaryamAM vadhAro karatI hatI. enA komaLa hAthomAM puSpo hatAM ane enI AMkhomAM snehabhInuM AkarSaNa hatuM. eNe mArI sAme joyuM... amArI AMkho maLI... RSikumAra jhaDapathI sopAnapaMkti caDhIne mArI pAse Avyo ane mane AdarapUrvaka puSpaguccha ApyA. meM namana karIne e puSpagucchono svIkAra karyo. huM enA mukha tarapha ja joI rahyo hato.... to tyAM ja Ubho rahI gayo. mArA manamAM prazna udbhavyo : "A AzramamAM Avo RSikumAra kyAMthI Avyo haze? keTaluM mohaka enuM vyaktitva che! keTalI vinamratA .... ane keTalo viveka che! A koNa haze? AvI bharayuvAnImAM eNe zA mATe saMnyAsa svIkAryo haze ?" mArA hAthamAM puSpo hatAM. huM punaH maMdiramAM gayo ane paramAtmAnA caraNe puSpa samarpita karyA. RSikumAre paNa pUjanavidhi pUrNa karI ane ame baMne sAthe ja bahAra AvyA. meM RSikumArane be hAtha joDI, mastaka namAvIne kahyuM, "he RSikumAra! zuM tame mArI sAthe mArI chAvaNImAM padhArazo?' 'tamAro zubha paricaya?' RSikumAre mane pUchyuM. 'tame mArI sAthe mArI chAvaNImAM cAlo, tyAM mArI kuTiramAM besIne huM tamane mAro paricaya ApIza ane tamAro paricaya meLavIza." huM RSikumArane laIne mArI chAvaNImAM Avyo. chAvaNImAM mArI kuTira taiyAra thaI hatI. ame baMne kuTiramAM pravezyA. RSikumArane eka svaccha ane suMdara Asana para besADIne, khUba AdarapUrvaka emane bhojana karAvyuM. khUba Agraha karyo tyAre to emaNe bhojana karyuM. emanA RSijIvanane anurUpa vastronI bheTa ApI. temaNe zveta vastro paridhAna karelAM hatAM. sAdAM tathA svaccha zveta vastromAM RSikumAra zobhatA hatA. meM teone mAro saMkSipta paricaya Apyo. tyAra pachI meM teone pUchyuM: "he RSikumAra, tame A AzramamAM kyAre padhAryA?" munine, sAdhune, RSine emanI pUrvAvasthA aMge na puchAya e huM jANato hato. RSikumAre kahyuM : "he rAjakumAra, A AzramamAM haripeNa nAmanA rAjarSi vasatA hatA. temane RSidattA, For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #94
82. pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM nAmanI atyaMta vinItA putrI hatI. rUpavatI ane guNavatI e RSidattAne A ja AzramamAM eka rAja kumAra sAthe prema thayo.... rAjarSie e suyogya rAjakumAra sAthe RSidattAnAM lagna karI dIdhAM ane temaNe svayaM agnipraveza karI dIdho... RSidarA rAja kumAra sAthe zvasuragRhe cAlI gaI.... pachI A Azrama sUno paDyo hato.... huM A pRthvI para paribhramaNa karato karato acAnaka ja A AzramamAM AvI caDyo! mane A AzramanI dharatI gamI gaI! bhagavAna RSabhadevanuM maMdira ane mUrti gamI gayAM.... ane huM rahI gayo....' jevI madhuratA RSidanAnI vANImAM hatI evI madhuratA nikumAranI vANImAM hatI! nikumAranI vAta karavAnI paddhati paNa RSidattAnA jevI ja hatI. huM ajANyo banIne kutuhalano abhinaya karato muni kumAranI vAta sAMbhaLato hato. he munikumAra! tamArAM darzana karIne sAce ja huM dhanya thayo chuM. kahyuM. 'rAja kumAra, tamane maLIne mane paNa AnaMda thayo che. tamArAmAM vinaya che, viveka che, are! vinamratA che. tame rAja kumAra cho, chatAM tamArAmAM uddhatAI nathI, abhimAna nathI. tamArA paricayathI mAruM hRdaya prasannatA anubhave che.' muni kumAre kahyuM. nikumAranA mukha upara smita ramI rahyuM hatuM. mAruM mana vadhu ne vadhu mohita thatuM jatuM hatuM. meM pUchayuM : "munikumAra, tamArA prathama darzane ja mAruM mana tamArA pratye ATaluM badhuM kema AkarSAI gayuM che. tamane joyA ja karuM... joyA ja karuM... ema thayA kare che. tamArA darzanathI mArI AMkho dharAtI kema nathI?" mAro prazna sAMbhaLIne RSikumAra hasI paDyA. emanuM hAsya paNa kAmaNa karanAruM hatuM. temaNe kahyuM : "rAja kumAra, koI koIne priya hoya che.... caMdrane joI kumuda khIlI UThe che ne? sUryanA darzane kamaLa khIlI UThe che ne? e jema svAbhAvika che, tema A paNa janma-janmAMtaranA saMbaMdhothI svAbhAvika che! pUrvajanmomAM tamAro ane mAro koI evo sneha-saMbaMdha haze!" zuM pUrvajanmono snehasaMbaMdha vartamAna jIvana sAthe saMkaLAyelo hoI zake?' hoya che rAja kumAra! koI paNa jAtanA pUrvaparicaya vinA, koI ajANI vyaktine jotAMnI sAthe ja sneha thAya che, te pUrvajanmanA snehanA saMskAra vinA na ja bane. evI rIte koI aparicita ane ajANI vyaktine jotAMnI sAthe For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #95
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM. 83 ja enA pratye dveSa ke aNagamo jAge che te paNa pUrvajanmanA verabhAvanA saMskAro vinA na ja banI zake.' mane muni kumAranI vAtamAM rasa paDyo. meM pharIthI pUchyuM : "to zuM ahIM thatA badhA ja nehasaMbaMdho ane veranAM baMdhanonI pAchaLa pUrvajanmanA saMskAro kAma kare che?' "nA, keTalAka saMbaMdhonI pAchaLa pUrvajanmonA saMskAro kAraNarUpa hoya che ane keTalAMka saMbaMdho navA paNa banatA hoya che. eTale ke koI vyakti sAthe pUrvajanmomAM snehasaMbaMdha na hoya, chatAM A jIvanamAM enI sAthe sneha baMdhAI zake. evI rIte, koI vyakti sAthe pUrvajanmamAM vera baMdhAyeluM na hoya chatAM A jIvanamAM enI sAthe vera baMdhAI zake!' paNa mane ema lAge che ke tamArI sAthe pUrvajanmomAM jarUra pragADha snehasaMbaMdha haze ja, nahIMtara tamane pahelI ja vAra jotAM, mArA hRdayamAM ATalo badho prema kevI rIte jAge?" RSikumAranI dRSTi jamIna para sthira hatI. teo mArI vAta dhyAnapUrvaka sAMbhaLatA hatA. temaNe nIcI dRSTie ja kahyuM : 'kumAra, ajANI ane alagArI vyakti sAthe prema na karavo joIe, sneha na bAMdhavo joIe. huM to RSikumAra chuM. Aje ahIM chuM. kAle bIje cAlyo jAuM! tame paNa musAphara cho! Aje acAnaka ahIM AvI caDhyA cho... hamaNAM tamAro samaya pUro thatAM cAlyA javAnA! mArI sAthe sneha na bAMdho, nahIMtara viyoganuM duHkha anubhavazo...." teo UbhA thayA ane "jaya RSabhadeva!' bolIne cAlavA lAgyA. huM kuTiranI bahAra, AzramanA dvAra sudhI emane vaLAvIne pAcho pharyo.... paraMtu pAchA pharatAM meM emane kahyuM ke, "Aje to ame sahu ahIM rokAI jaIzuM, kAle tamane jarUra maLIza.' temaNe mArI sAme snehabharI dRSTithI joyuM ane jhaDapathI teo potAnI kuTira tarapha cAlyA gayA. huM pAcho pharyo. paraMtu RSikumAre mAruM hRdaya jItI lIdhuM hatuM. mane e RSikumAramAM RSidattAnAM jANe darzana thatAM hatAM! RSidattAnA mRtyu pachI jo mAruM mana praphullita thayuM hoya, AnaMdita thayuM hoya, to te Aje ja! A RSikumAranA Akasmika milane mArA saMtapta hRdaya upara caMdana vilepana karyuM hatuM. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #96
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM huM mArI kuTiramAM Avyo, bhojanAdi pravRttithI nivRtta thaI ArAma karavA palaMgamAM ADo paDyo. mAruM mana RSikumAramAM khovAyeluM hatuM. mane vicAra Avyo : "zuM A RSikumAra mArI sAthe kAverI na Ave? jo e mArI sAthe rahe, kAyama mATe mArI sAthe rahe to.... kevuM AphlAdaka enuM vyaktitva che? kevI UMDI enI tattvasamajaNa che! enI AMkhomAM sneha chalakAya che, enI vANImAM amRta UbharAya che. huM ene mArI sAthe AvavA mATe jarUra Agraha karIza...' paraMtu e RSikumAra che! vairAgI che! saMsAratyAgI che! zuM e mArI sAthe AvavA saMmata thaze? bhale, mane emanA pratye prema thaI gayo, paraMtu emane mArA pratye prema jAgyo che ke kema, e to huM jANato nathI! RSi-munio virakta hoya che. teo saMsArI jIvo pratye anurAgI banatA hotA nathI.... to zuM meM virakta AtmA sAthe prema karIne bhUla karI? paNa.... meM prema karyo ja nathI ne? prema thaI gayo che... pUrvajanmanA saMskAranA kAraNe ja prema thaI gayo che. jema mane emanA pratye prema thayo, tema emane mArA pratye prema nahIM thayo hoya? kAle huM emane pUchIza... nA nA, kAle zA mATe? Aje saMdhyA samaye bhagavAna RSabhadevanAM darzana karavA jaIza, tyAre e RSikumArane maLIza ane pUchIza. kadAca e kaheze ke : "mane tamArA pratye sneha nathI jAgyo!' to? to paNa huM emane mArI sAthe cAlavA vinaMtI karIza. RSi-munine bhale saMsArI jIvo pratye sneha ke prema na hoya, paraMtu karuNA to hoya ne? vAtsalya hoya ne? teo kaThora ke niSphara to na hoI zake. huM emane kahIza, "mArA tarapha karuNAbhAva rAkhIne paNa mArI sAthe cAlo... huM tamAro upakAra mAnIza!' e komaLa hRdayanA RSikumAra che..... mArI prArthanAne avagaNaze to nahIM ja! vicAro karatAM karatAM huM nidrAdhIna thaI gayo. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #97
pa sUrya asta thaI gayo hato. dUra dUra kSitije raMgaberaMgI cUMdaDI oDhI lIdhI hatI. vividharaMgI vihaMgo potapotAnA mALA tarapha AvI rahyAM hatAM. samagra prakRti prasannatAthI pulakita hatI. Ameya Azramano A pradeza prakRtinI zreSTha bheTa hatI. temAMya saMdhyAnA TANe to A pradezanA pASANomAMthI paNa saMgIta relAtuM hatuM. eka eka kumaLA choDavAmAMthI hAsya verAtuM hatuM. | jinAlayanuM zveta zikhara ane enA upara UMDI rahelI dhajA... bhUlAbhaTakatA pathikone jANe rAha cIMdhatI hatI : ahIM Avo, ahIM tamane zAMti maLaze, AnaMda maLaze.... sAco mArga maLaze... jIvananuM amRta maLaze...." huM mArI vastrakuTiramAMthI bahAra nIkaLI, eka svaccha medAnamAM AvIne Ubho hato. prakRtinA sauMdaryadarzane mArAM tana-manane praphullita karI dIdhAM hatAM. mAre mArA ArAdhya devAdhideva bhagavAna RSabhanAM darzana karavA javuM hatuM. ane sAthosAtha RSikumArane maLIne, mArI sAthe kAverI AvavA mATe emane manAvI levA hatA. huM maMdire pahoMcyo. maMdiranA prathama sopAne ja meM e sukomaLa chatAM dhIragaMbhIra RSikumArane UbhelA joyA. huM tvarAthI AgaLa vadhyo ane RSikumArane abhivAdana karyuM. RSikumAre paNa jamaNo hAtha UMco karI, mukha para smita pharakAvI mAruM svAgata karyuM. rAja kumAra, huM tamArI rAha joto ja ahIM Ubho chuM. cAlo, ApaNe paramAtmAnI AratI utArIe!" khUba AbhAra Apano, AratI utAravAmAM mane AnaMda thaze." "hRdayanI arati paNa dUra thaze!' RSikumAre mArI sAme joyuM, thoDuMka smita veryuM ane mAro hAtha pakaDI maMdiranAM sopAna caDhavA mAMDyA. RSikumAre mAro hAtha pakaDyo hato... mane temanA karasparzathI romAMca thaI gayo. e sparza mane atyaMta priya lAgyo. e sparzamAM jema komaLatA hatI, tema na samajI zakAya evuM madhura saMvedana hatuM. mane kSaNabhara ema thayuM ke "RSikumAra mAro hAtha na choDe to sAruM!' paraMtu nisihI' bolIne, be hAtha joDIne, mastaka namAvIne maMdiramAM ame praveza karyo... emaNe mAro hAtha choDI dIdho hato. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #98
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM | RSikumAre AratI taiyAra karI ane mArA hAthamAM ApI... meM bhaktipUrNa hRdaye paramAtmAnI AratI utArI, mAruM hRdaya AnaMdathI chalakAvA lAgyuM..... RSidattA sAthe huM AratI utArato hato, tyAre mane AvA ja AnaMdano anubhava thato hato. mArI smRtimAM jhabakAro thayo ne e jhabakArAmAMthI RSidattAnI AkRti UpasI AvI. meM RSidattAne paramAtmAnA caraNe namana karatI joI! cAlo rAjakumAra, ApaNe have AzramamAM jaIe." RSikumAranA zabdoe mane svapnalokamAMthI bahAra kADhyo. ame punaH paramAtmAne praNAma karyA ane maMdiranI bahAra AvyA. sopAnapaMkti UtarIne praNAma karyA ane maMdiranI bahAra UbhA rahyA.... kSaNabhara ame baMne mauna rahyA. Aje tame mArI sAthe mArI kuTiramAM Avazo?' RSikumArane be hAtha joDI natamastake vinaMtI karI. kema? zA mATe?" mAre tamArI sAthe ghaNI vAto karavI che. AjanI rAta tame mArI sAthe ja vitAvo, evI mArI icchA che.' RSikumAranI sAme joyuM. rAtrino aMdhakAra gADha thato jato hato, najIkanA mArA paDAvanI bahAranI mazAlono jhAMkho jhAMkho prakAza AzramamAM Avato hato. cAlo kumAra, huM tamAro Agraha TALI zakato nathI.' mane khUba harSa thayo. RSikumArane bheTI paDavAnuM mana thaI gayuM. paNa maryAdAnA baMdhane mane vAryo. game tema toya e tyAgI puruSa hatA ane huM bhogI puruSa hato. e RSi hatA, huM saMsArI jIvAtmA hato. mArA premanA atirekamAM aucityabhaMga na thaI jAya, enI mane jAgRti hatI. ame baMne mArI parNakuTiramAM AvyA. praharIoe amane namana karyuM ane teo kuTirathI thoDe dUra jaIne emanA niyata sthAne UbhA rahI gayA. meM RSikumArane dugdhapAna karavA prArthanA karI, paraMtu temaNe kahyuM : "huM rAtrinA samaye bhojana nathI karato. dugdhapAna paNa nathI karato, jalapAna paNa nathI karato." bahu sahaja bhAve temaNe kahyuM. meM paNa dugdhapAna karavAnuM mAMDI vALyuM. pANI pI lIdhuM ane ame baMne eka ja kASThAsana para beThA. meM kASThAsana pahelethI ja mArI kuTiramAM goThaveluM hatuM. kuTiramAM be suMdara dIpakono prakAza patharAyelo hato. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #99
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 'kharekhara RSikumAra, A bhUmipradeza. A AzramanI dharatI mane khUba game che. huM pUrve paNa A AzramamAM Avelo chuM. keTaloka samaya ahIM rahelo chuM..." jyAre rAjarSi jIvaMta hatA, tyAre AvyA hazo?' hA, rAjarSinA agnipravezano huM sAkSI chuM.' "ema? to emanI putrI...' hA, emanI putrI RSidattAnI sAthe meM ja ahIM pANigrahaNa kareluM ane ene rathamardana nagare laI gayelo." "atyAre tamArI sAthe patnI nathI, kema?" RSikumAranA A prazna mane hacamacAvI nAMkhyo. haiye thaDakAra thayo ane AMkho bhInI bhInI thaI gaI. huM RSikumArane zo javAba ApuM? "nA, te mArI sAthe nathI." mAro svara paNa bhIno thaI gayo hato. kumAra, A vAta tamArI vyaktigata kahevAya eTale mAre na pUchavuM joIe. chatAM pUchIne tamArA dilane meM duHkhI karyuM che. mane kSamA..." meM RSikumAranA mukha upara hAtha daIne AgaLa bolatA aTakAvI dIdhA ane meM kahyuM : "he AtmIya baMdhu, tame pUchI zako cho. mArA jIvananI eka-eka vAta pUchI zako cho. tamArA praznathI mane duHkha nathI thayuM, paraMtu RSidattAnI ramRti mane pala-pala, kSaNa-kSaNa raDAve che." mArA uttarIya vastrathI meM mArI AMkho lUchI. mArA rUMdhAyelA kaMThane sApha karavA thoDuMka pANI pIdhuM ane svastha banyo. RSikumAra, RSidattAne meM mAruM hRdaya nicovIne prema Apyo. paraMtu enI rakSA na karI zakyo, huM ni:sattva ane namAlo siddha thayo." RSikumAranA mukha para glAni, Azcarya ane vedanAnA mizra bhAvo tarI AvyA. teo mArI sAme ekITase joI rahyA hatA. mane AzvAsana ane mauna sahAnubhUti ApI rahyA hatA. meM temane RSidattA para kevuM kalaMka AvyuM, jogaNanA kahevAthI pitAjIe kevI rIte tapAsa karAvI, kevI rIte RSidattA para julma karavAmAM Avyo, jallAdo kevI rIte ene smazAnamAM laI gayA, e badhI ja vAta kahI saMbhaLAvI. e pachInA mArA divaso kevA duHkhapUrNa, vedanApUrNa ane RSidattAnA ja vicAromAM vyatIta thayA, e paNa raDatI AMkhe kahI dIdhuM. mAruM hRdaya kaMIka haLavAza anubhavavA lAgyuM. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #100
88. pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM tyAra pachI kAverIpatinA AgrahathI, rukmiNI sAthe lagna karavA mATe pitAjIe mAtAjI dvArA kevo Agraha karAvyo - e badhI vAto paNa spaSTatAthI karI. manikumAranI sAme mAruM hRdaya khUlI gayuM hatuM. chevaTe meM kahyuM : "mArA hRdayamAM rukmiNI pratye koI prema jAgyo nathI. mAtra mAtAnA AgrahathI ane pitAjInA baMdhanamAMthI chUTavA mATe ja, kAverI javAnuM meM svIkAryuM che. mArgamAM A Azrama Avato hovAthI, ane AzramanuM prabaLa AkarSaNa mArA hRdayamAM hovAthI huM kAverI javA nIkaLyo chuM. ane kharekhara, A AzramamAM AvavAthI mane bahu moTo lAbha thayo che - te lAbha che tamAruM Akasmika milanA" lagabhaga eka prahara sudhI meM mArI karuNa kathanI RSikumArane kahI haze. RSikumAre saMpUrNa mauna dhAraNa karIne, khUba lAgaNIpUrvaka mArI vAta sAMbhaLI - pachI teo bolyA : kumAra, kharekhara tamArA jIvananI A bahu moTI karuNatA kahevAya. paraMtu A saMsAramAM AvuM badhuM banI zake. pApakarmanA udaya koI jIvane choDatA nathI. RSidarAnAM evAM koI pApakarmano udaya Avyo. ane e nirdoSa strIne asahya yAtanAo bhogavavI paDI. mRtyunA mukhamAM dhakelAI. alabatta, tamArA hRdayamAM e vAtanuM ghora duHkha thAya, te svAbhAvika che, paraMtu have tame svastha banI jAo. RSidattAno deha naSTa thayo haze. eno AtmA to amara che! AtmAno AtmA sAtheno prema ja akhaMDa rahI zake che." thoDI kSaNo mauna chavAyuM. rAtrinA be prahara pUrA thaI gayAM hatAM. haju mAre RSikumArane mahattvanI vAta kahevAnI to bAkI ja hatI. meM mArI e vAta prastuta karI : have mArI Apane eka vinaMtI che." kumAra, have tamAre vinaMtI karavAnI na hoya, huM tamane mArA AtmIya mitra mAnuM chuM. mitranI pAse vinaMtI na hoya.' zuM kharekhara tamane mArA pratye prema jAgyo che, RSikumAra?" RSikumAranA baMne hAtha mArA be hAthamAM jakaDI laI emanI atyaMta nikaTa jaIne pUchayuM. kumAra, tamane jyArathI joyA che, tyArathI tamArA pratye hRdayamAM prema jAgI gayo che. jo ke eka RSi tarIke mane tamArA pratye ke bIjA koI paNa saMsArI jIva pratye prema na thavo joIe. chevaTe prema e paNa eka baMdhana che ane baMdhana e ja saMsAra che. muktimArganA musApharane baMdhano bAMdhavAnAM na hoya, toDavAnAM hoya. chatAM, mane tamArA pratye sneha jAgI gayo che e sAcuM che.' For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #101
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM. RSikumAranI vAta sAMbhaLI mArI AMkho harSanAM AMsuothI bhInI thaI gaI. RSikumArano AbhAra mAnavAnA mane zabdo na jaDyA.... tyAM RSikumAre mane pUchyuM : kaho, tamAre zuM kahevuM che?' 'tame mArI sAthe cAlo!" sIdhI ja vAta kahI dIdhI. kyAM?' "kAverI!" kAverI? lagnamAM? rukmiNI sAthenAM tamArAM lagnamAM?" "hA." "eka RSikumAra tarIke lagnaprasaMgamAM AvavuM anucita kahevAya.' bhale anucita kahevAya, mArI khAtara... eka duHkhI... saMtapta mitranI khAtara anucita kArya paNa ucita kahevAze.' evuM na bolo kumAra, tamArA manane zAMti maLe, prasannatA maLe, e mATe mArAthI zakya badhA ja prayatno mAre karavA joIe, paraMtu A to meM mArI RSiavasthAnuM aucitya-anaucitya batAvyuM." to pachI sAthe Avazo ne? hA kahI do, RSikumAra!' RSikumAre AMkho baMdha karI dIdhI. emanA mukha upara gaMbhIratA chavAI gaI. e UMDA vicAramAM khovAI gayA. huM emanA pratyuttaranI rAha joto.... utsuka hRdaya ane Atura nayane emanI sAme joto ja rahyo. thoDI kSaNo vItI, temaNe AMkho kholI. mArI sAme joyuM. emanI AMkhomAM meM RSidattAno prema joyo!RSidattAno Adara joyo.... evI ja nirdoSatA... evI ja komaLatA.... evI ja snehanI bhInAza! teo bolyA : kamAra, mAno ke huM tamArI sAthe kAverI AvuM, paraMtu rukmiNI sAthe tamArAM lagna thaI gayA pachI huM tamArI sAthe nahIM rahI zakuM." kema? zAthI na rahI zako?" 'chevaTe tame rAjakumAra cho. tamArA pitAjI rAjA che.... eka Sa sAthenI.... eka vanavAsI sAthenI mitratA temane na game, rukmiNIne paNa na game ane jyAM koInA dilane duHkha thatuM hoya tyAM mArAthI... eka RSikumArathI na rahevAya." For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #102
80 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM kSaNabhara mATe mane AMcako lAgyo. RSikumAranI vAtamAM mane satyAMza lAgyo, kadAca mArA pitAjI virodha kare to? kadAca RSikumAranuM apamAna karI de to? RSidattA sAthe mArA pitAjIe karelA durvyavahAranI punarAvRtti thaI jAya to? paNa meM RSikumArane kahyuM : 'tame kAverI sudhI to cAlo. vaLatAM ApaNe A ja rastethI pasAra thavAnuM che. e vakhate, jo 2thamardananagara AvavuM ThIka na lAge to tame ahIM rokAI jajo....' RSikumAre mArI sAme joyuM. temanA mukha para smita AvI gayuM. temaNe kahyuM: Acharya Shri Kailassagarsuri Gyanmandir 'kumAra, sAthe rahevAthI ApaNI mitratAno sneha dRDha thaI jaze.... pachI jyAre judA paDavAnuM Avaze tyAre viyoganI vedanA kevI thaze, teno vicAra karyo che? tame to rAjamahelamAM rahezo.... jyAre mAre to punaH AzramanuM ekalavAyuM jIvana jIvavAnuM.... mATe sAthe AvavAno Agraha choDI do to sAruM!' 'nA, sAthe AvavAnuM ja che. AgaLanI vAta AgaLa upara ApaNe vicArIzuM! evuM ja lAgaze to huM mAro eka mahela AzramamAM baMdhAvI daIza! jyAre nagaramAM nahIM game, to ahIM AvIne rahIza! jyAre tame bolAvazo, tyAre hajAra kAma paDatAM mUkIne AvI jaIza!' mArA atyaMta AgrahathI RSikumAre mArI sAthe AvavAnuM kabUlyuM. mArA AnaMdanI avidha na rahI. rAtrino trIjo prahara cAlI rahyo hato. ame baMne sAthe ja palaMgamAM sUI gayA, RSikumAre mArA kAna pAse mukha lAvIne kahyuM : 'kumAra, tame mane tamAro rAgI banAvI dIdho!' 'ane tame to mAruM hRdaya ja harI lIdhuM. tenuM zuM?' 'have e hRdaya pAchuM nahIM maLe hoM!' 'bhale!'. 'pachI pelI bicArI rukmiNIne zuM Apazo?' 'ene hRdaya vinAno mAtra deha ApIza!' amArI maitrInI madhuratA mANatA ame nidrAdhIna thaI gayA. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #103
16 brAhma muhUrtanA samaye RSikumAre mane jagADyo ane kahyuM : "kumAra, cAlo ApaNe snAnAdithI nivRtta thaI paramAtmA RSabhadevanuM prabhAtakAlIna pUjana karI laIe." RSikumAra, tamAruM kathana ucita che. paramAtmapUjana karIne pachI ApaNe ahIMthI kAverI tarapha prasthAna karIe.'RSikumAranI sAthe huM AzramamAM gayo. tyAMthI ame baMne sarovara kinAre gayA ane snAna karI, zuddha vastra paridhAna karI, paramAtmAnA maMdire pahoMcyA. rastAmAM RSikumAre sugaMdhI puSpo cUMTI lIdhAM hatAM. zuddha jalathI paramAtmAnI abhiSeka pUjA karIne, khUba bhaktibhAvathI ame paramAtmAnAM aMge puSpa caDhAvyAM. pUjana karatAM mAruM zarIra romAMcita thaI gayuM. AMkho harSanAM AMsuothI chalakAI gaI. meM jyAre mArAM uttarIya vastrathI AMkho lUchI, tyAre RSikumAre mArI sAme joI lIdhuM. ame sAthe ja paramAtmAnI stavanA karI ane maMdiranI bahAra AvyA. RSikumAre maMdiranAM pagathiyAM UtaratAM mane pUchyuM : kumAra, haju tamArI hRdayavyathA haLavI thaI nathI ne?' "evuM anumAna tame kevI rIte karyuM?" 'tamArI AMkho ja bolI rahI che!' RSikumAra, AMkhomAM vyathAnAM AMsu nahotAM AvyAM, kAMI na samajAya tevA sukhada saMvedananAM e AMsu hatAM!' "to to najIkanA bhaviSyamAM tamane koI viziSTa lAbha thavo joIe!" ema? sAcI vAta che tamArI najIkanA bhaviSyamAM ja rukmiNIno lAbha thavAno che!' "mAruM kahevAnuM tAtparya e che ke tamane koI priya vastuno, priya vyaktino lAbha thAya! jo miNI tamane priya che, to teno lAbha thavAno ja! meM dharmagraMthomAMthI jANyuM che ke paramAtmAnAM darzana-pUjana karatAM jo romAMca thAya, harSanAM AMsu Ave to iSTaprApti thAya che, priyaprApti thAya che!" For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #104
92 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM RSikumAranI vAta sAMbhaLIne huM gaMbhIra banI gayo. RSikumAranI hasatI mukhamudrA sAme ekITase joI rahyo. temanA baMne hAtha pakaDI laI meM kahyuM : "RSirAja! mArA jIvanamAM RSidattA sivAya koI priya nathI... koI iSTa nathI.... kaho, enI prApti thaze mane? RSikumAre mArI sAme joyuM. arthasUcaka smita karyuM ane mAro hAtha pakaDI cAlavA mAMDyuM. chAvaNI uThAvI levAmAM AvI hatI ane prayANa mATe senA taiyAra UbhI hatI. mArA suzobhita rathane be zveta azvo joDI devAmAM AvyA hatA. pUrva dizAmAMthI sUryanAM tejakiraNo prasarI rahyAM hatA. cAra-pAMca mRgazAvako paNa mArA rathanI pAse kutUhalathI AvI UbhAM hatAM. RSikumAre e mRgazAvakonAM mukhaDAM paMpALyAM ane ame baMne rathArUDha thayA. mArA rathanI AgaLa eka nAnakaDI azvasenA cAlI rahI hatI. rathanI pAchaLa azvasenA ane pAyadaLa paNa hatAM. haju kAverIno traNa divasano rasto bAkI hato, paraMtu RSikumArano saMgAtha maLavAthI amAro mArga zIghratAthI kapAto jato hato. muni kumAra sAthe evI AtmIyatA keLavAI gaI hatI ke huM mukta manathI emanI sAthe vAto karato hato. Aje savAre maMdiranAM pagathiyAM UtaratAM emaNe karelI vAta haju mArA manamAM ghUmarAtI hatI, emAMya emaNe vAparelo dharmagraMtha' zabda mane khAsa yAda rahI gayo hato. emanI pAse dharmagraMthonuM jJAna che, e huM samajI zakyo hato, eTale meM mArA manamAM ghumarAto prazna emane pUchayo: nikumAra, mane e vAta samajAvo ke nirdoSa ane niraparAdhI RSidattA para AvuM kalaMka kema AvyuM? enA para Avo julma zAthI thayo?" | RSikumAre mArI sAme joyuM. AMkho baMdha karIne bolavA mAMDyuM : "kumAra, A saMsAra.. A duniyA anAdi che ane emAM rahelA jIvo paNa anAdi che. manathI, vANIthI ane kAyAthI jIvo sArAM-narasAM kAma kare che. e mujaba e jIvo puNyakarma ane pApakarma bAMdhe che. e bAMdhelAM karmanuM phaLa e ja jIvanamAM maLe, evo niyama nathI. pachInA game te janmamAM e karmo udayamAM Ave che ane enuM phaLa jIvone maLe che. puNyakarmanA udayathI sukha maLe che, pApakarmanA udayathI du:kha maLe che. pApakarmanA udaya vinA duHkha na ja Ave." For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #105
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM. vartamAna jIvanamAM manuSya koI aparAdha na karyo hoya, koI kharAba AcaraNa na karyuM hoya chatAM pUrvajanmonAM pApakarma udayamAM Ave to te manuSyanA jIvanamAM duHkha Ave ja. evI rIte, vartamAna jIvanamAM manuSya ghaNAM kharAba kAma karato hoya chatAM jo pUrvajanmanAM puNyakarma udayamAM Ave to tene vartamAna jIvanamAM sukha maLe ja!' RSikumAre mArI sAme joyuM.... meM kahyuM : "RSikumAra, tame ema kahevA mAgo cho ke RSidattAne je duHkha AvyuM, te tenA pUrvajanmanAM pApakarmonAM udayathI AvyuM? hA, taddana sAcuM! pUrvajanmomAM.... koI paNa jIvanamAM enA AtmAe koI nirdoSa jIvAtmA upara kalaMka mUkIne, evuM pApakarma bAMdheluM hovuM joIe! e sivAya enA upara AvuM kalaMka na Ave!" eNe pUrvajanmamAM konA upara kalaMka mUkyuM haze?" "e to koI avadhijJAnI ke kevaLajJAnI ja batAvI zake! mArI pAse evuM viziSTa jJAna nathI.... mATe huM na batAvI zakuM." "to zuM jenA upara RSidattAnA AtmAe pUrvajanmamAM kalaMka mUkeluM haze, e ja jIvAtmAe A jIvanamAM traSidanA upara kalaMka mUkeluM haze?" evo niyama nathI, kumAra! kalaMka mUkanAra kalaMkita bane! bIjI koI vyakti dvArA paNa kalaMkita bane!' 'kalaMka mUkanAra.... nirdoSane doSita siddha karanAra svayaM kalaMkita bane ? zuM evo cokkasa niyama ja che? nA, kalaMka mUkanAra manuSyane kalaMka mUkyA pachI bhAna thAya, ke meM A khoTuM kAma karyuM che, nirdoSane-akalaMkane khoTI rIte raMjADyo che... ane te kSamA mAge, pazcAttApa kare ane prAyazcitta kare to eNe bAMdhelAM pApakarma tUTI paNa jAya!" huM mauna rahyo. mArA mATe A tattvajJAnanI vAto navI hatI. chatAM huM e vAtone sArI rIte samajI rahyo hato, RSikumAranI vAto buddhigamya hatI. kAraNa vinA kArya na ja bane, e vAta samajAya evI hatI. huM jANato hato ke vartamAna jIvanamAM RSidattAe koInAya upara khoTuM ALa mUkeluM na hatuM. koI paNa jIvAtmA para eNe kalaMka mUkeluM na hatuM... chatAM enA upara kalaMka AvyuM hatuM... enI pAchaLa koI kAraNa to hovuM ja joIe! e kAraNa jANavAnuM jJAna mArI pAse na hatuM. RSikumAra pAse paNa evuM jJAna na hatuM... eTale e jijJAsA ema ne ema ja rahI. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #106
94 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM RSikumAra, have to enuM e pApakarma bhogavAI gayuM haze ne?' ApaNe anumAna karI zakIe ke enuM e pApakarma bhogavAI gayuM hovuM joIe. nizcayAtmaka rIte na kahI zakIe, jo pUruM na bhogavAyuM hoya to adhUruM bhogavavuM paNa paDe... bIjA bhavamAM ke A bhavamAM!" A bhavamAM to have e kevI rIte bhogavavAnI? jallAdoe ene motane ghATa utArI dIdhI....' 'kumAra, have tame e duHkhada ghaTanAne yAda na karo. bhUlI jAo!' "A jIvanamAM huM e ghaTanAne bhUlI nahIM zakuM.... RSikumAra! huM samajuM chuM ke e ghaTanAo yAda karavAthI mane RSidattA maLavAnI nathI, chatAM e yAda AvI ja jAya che. ene bhUlavAnuM mAruM sAmarthya nathI.' evI du:khadAyI smRtione vAgoLatAM vAgoLatAM lagna karavA javAnuM?' A lagna mAtra pitRAjJAnuM pAlana mATe ja che. mAruM hRdaya A lagnane svIkArI zakavAnuM nathI. A lagnano mahotsava bhale rukimaNIne AnaMda Ape, mane to viSAda ja thavAno che." kumAra, A saMsAramAM harSa ane viSAda, khuzI ane nAkhuzI, AnaMda ane udveganAM asaMkhya dvandra cAlyA ja kare che. A saMsArasAgaramAM rAga ane dveSanAM mojAM UchaLyA ja kare che! emAM kyAMya zAzvat zAMti nathI, avinAzI AnaMda nathI. mATe ja vItarAga paramAtmA saMsArane - saMsAranA guNone tyAjya kahe che ne?' sAcI vAta che tamArI, RSikumAra! dvandromAM azAMti ja hoya, nirlendromAM ja zAMti maLe. chatAM dvandromAM mana kheMcAya che. saMsAranAM kSaNika sukhonuM AkarSaNa tUTatuM nathI." madhyAhunano sUrya mAthe Avyo hato. bhojana mATe amArI yAtrA sthagita thaI hatI. chAvaNI naMkhAI gaI hatI. RSikumAranI sAthe huM mArI vastrakuTiramAM jaIne bhojananI rAha joto beTho hato. ame baMnee eka ja thALamAM bhojana karyuM. eka ghaTikA vizrAma karyo ane tyAMthI amArI yAtrA AgaLa vadhI. rathamAM ame baMne pAse pAse ja beThA hatA. thoDoka samaya maunamAM pasAra thayo, pachI RSikumAre ja maunano bhaMga karyo. temaNe kahyuM : For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #107
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 95 'kumAra, mane samajAtuM nathI ke tamArA pratye mAruM mana ATaluM badhuM kema anurAgI banI gayuM? mArA jIvanamAM ATalo prema bIjA koI sAthe meM karyo nathI!' 'pUrvajanmano ApaNo koI snehasaMbaMdha haze!' 'ema ja mAnavuM paDe!' 'paNa tamArA mATe judI vAta che!' 'zI?' Acharya Shri Kailassagarsuri Gyanmandir 'tamane mArA pratye je anurAga che, tenA karatAM vadhu anurAga RSidattA pratye che! athavA kaho ke RSidattA tarapha vadhu anurAga hato.... kharuM ne?' 'tamArI vAta tamArI dRSTie sAcI haze, paraMtu mane ema lAge che ke tamArA pratye mane eTalo ja anurAga thaI gayo che ke jeTalo RSidattA tarapha hato! aMtara che mAtra dehanuM. e strI hatI, tame puruSa cho! tamArI sAthe mitratAno anurAga che, RSidattA sAthe patnIno anurAga hato.' 'puruSa sAthenA prema karatAM strI sAtheno prema pragADha nathI hoto?' 'evo niyama nathI. kyAreka strI sAthenA prema karatAM puruSa sAtheno prema vadhu pragADha hoya che! zrIrAmane sItAjI pratye prema hato, paraMtu enA karatAMya vadhu pragADha sneha lakSmaNajI sAthe hato. lakSmaNanA mRtadehane cha-cha mahinA sudhI potAnA khabhe laIne ayodhyAnI galIomAM e pharyA hatA! jyAre sItAjIe saMsArano tyAga karI sAdhvIjIvana svIkAryuM tyAre zrIrAme kalpAMta paNa nahoto karyo!' 'kumAra, tame kharekhara vicakSaNa puruSa cho.' 'ane tame? sAcA tattvajJAnI puruSa cho.' ame baMne mauna thaI gayA. baMnenAM hRdaya vadhu nikaTa AvI gayAM hatAM. huM atyaMta AMtarasukha anubhavI rahyo hato, paraMtu mAruM nabaLuM hRdaya zaMkAzIla banI gayuM hatuM. jevI ghaTanA.... durghaTanA RSidattA sAthe banI gaI, tevI durghaTanA A RSikumAra sAthe to nahIM bane ne? athavA to A RSikumAra mane tyajI to nahIM jAya ne? kAverIthI ja e mane choDI jAya to? mArA haiye phALa paDI.... mArA mukhamAMthI nisAso sarI paDyo... RSikumAre mArI sAme joyuM, 'kema acAnaka mukha para viSAda chavAI gayo?' For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #108
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM mArI AMkho bhInI thaI gaI hatI ane mAro kaMTha rUMdhAI gayo hato. RSikumAre haLave hAthe mArI AMkho lUchI nAkhI ane mArA mAthe hAtha pheravavA mAMDyo. pachI mane madhura zabdomAM kahevA mAMDyuM : "kumAra, bhUtakALa satAve che ke bhaviSyanI koI ciMtA vyathita kare che?' bhaviSyanI aniSTa kalpanAe vyathita karyo che." huM jANI zakuM e kalpanA?' 'avazya. e kalpanAnA pAtra tame ja cho!' to to huM ja tamArI vyathAmAM nimitta banyo." e vyathAne tame ja dUra karI zako ema cho." mArAthI zakya haze to jarUra huM prayatna karIza.' 'tame mane kahI do ke mAra tyAga karIne cAlyA nahIM jAone!" RSikumAre anaMta AkAza tarapha daSTi sthira karI. te UMDA vicAromAM DUbI gayA. mukha upara gaMbhIratA chavAI gaI. mAruM mana vadhu zakita banI gayuM. meM RSikumAranA baMne hAtha pakaDI laI pUchyuM : zuM meM ayogya vAta karIne tamArA dilane dubhAvyuM che?' RSikumAre mArI sAme joyuM. temanA mukha para smita pharakyuM. temaNe kahyuM : rAja kumAra, huM tamane kevI rIte choDI zakIza? hA, mArA nimitte tamane du:khI thatA joIza tyAre..." RSikumAranA mukha upara hAtha dAbI daI temane bolatA baMdha karI dIdhA. tame evuM na bolo. tamArA nimitte mane duHkha thAya ja nahIM." "kumAra, A saMsAra che! duHkharUpa saMsAra che! parivartanazIla saMsAra che. Aje je sukharUpa lAge te kAle duHkharUpa banI zake! Aje je du:kharUpa lAge te kAle sukharUpa banI zake! eTale, A saMsAramAM AvI badhI ja saMbhAvanAo samajIne, svIkArIne jIvavuM joIe. tame jyAre AzramamAMthI RSidattAnuM pANigrahaNa karIne tamArA nagaramAM laI gayA hatA tyAre tamane kalpanA paNa hatI ke AvI durghaTanA banaze? banI gaI ne durghaTanA?' | RSikumAranI eka eka vAta mArA samagra vyaktitvane AMdolita karatI hatI. emano eka eka zabda mArA aMtarAtmAne rasataraboLa karato hato. meM kahyuM : For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM RSikumAra, tame RSi cho ne? tamArA vicAro, tamAruM ciMtana yathArtha ja che, paraMtu zuM badhA manuSyonA jIvanamAM AvI durghaTanAonuM punarAvartana thatuM rahe che? pApodaya pachI puNyodaya paNa Ave ne? nahIMtara tamAruM Akasmika milana thAta ja kevI rIte? eka suMdara ramaNIya pradezamAM ame AvI pahoMcyA hatA. kAverInA rAjyono A pradeza hato. amAruM svAgata karavA kAverIMpatinA mANaso tyAM upasthita hatA. kAverIpatinA mahAmaMtrIe amAruM abhivAdana karyuM ane kAverIpatino saMdezo Apyo. kAverImAM amArI vATa jovAI rahI hatI. bhojanAdithI nivRtta thaI ame amArI kuTirImAM vizrAma karyo. mAruM mana prasannatAthI pulakita hatuM. RSikumAra paNa AnaMdavibhora hatA. mArI prasannatAthI mArA sainiko ane maMtrIo paNa prasanna hatA. nirdhArita divase ame kAverInagaranA dvAre pahoMcI gayAM. For Private And Personal Use Only

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617 mahArAjA surasuMdare amAruM bhAvabhInuM svAgata karyuM. bhavya pravezamahotsava Ujavyo. amane eka suMdara zveta mahelamAM utAro ApavAmAM Avyo. mahArAjA surasuMdare svayaM amArI AgatA-svAgatAmAM dhyAna ApyuM. mArI kuzaLapRcchA karIne temaNe kahyuM : kumAra, mahArAjA hemarathe prArthanA svIkArIne tamane mArI putrI rukmiNI sAthe lagna karavA mokalyA, tethI mane khUba AnaMda thayo. mahArAjA hemarathano neha huM nahIM bhUlI zakuM ." potAnI putrInI manokAmanA phaLI rahI hatI, eno AnaMda surasuMdaranA hRdayamAM samAto na hato. emanI potAnI eka moTI ciMtA dUra thaI hatI ne? yuvAna putrInA lagna na thAya tyAM sudhI mAtA-pitAnA haiye satata ciMtA satAvatI rahetI hoya che. jyAre e ciMtA dUra thAya che tyAre mAtA-pitAnA haiye nirAMta vaLe che. mArI sAthe RSikumArane joIne mahArAjAe pUchyuM : kumAra, RSirAja koNa che ane ApanI sAthe kevI rIte...?' . mahArAjA, A RSikumAra mArA mitra che.... mArgamAM maLI gayA.... mitratA thaI gaI ane sAthe laI Avyo!' meM pratyuttara Apyo ane mahArAjA e RSikumAranI sAme joyuM. RSikumAranA mukha para smita ramI rahyuM hatuM. huM hasI paDyo. mahArAjAnA mukha upara paNa prasannatA tarI AvI. kumAra, mitranI pasaMdagI to ghaNI sArI karI che! "bAkRtiH 5thati guna' - manuSyanI mukhAkRti enA guNadoSo kahetI hoya che. kharekhara, RSikumAranuM vyaktitva ja evuM che ke prathama mulAkAtamAM maitrI thaI jAya.' mahArAjAe amArI sAthe ja bhojana karyuM. badhI ja vyavasthA goThavI dIdhI ane vidAya lIdhI. zveta mahelamAM huM ane RSikumAra ja hatA. amArA paricArako hatAM. e sivAyanA mArA mANasono utAro bIjA mahelamAM ApavAmAM Avyo hato. eka ja moTA palaMgamAM ame baMnee zayana karyuM. bIjA ja divase rukmiNI sAthe lagna karavAnuM hatuM. RSikumAre mane kahyuM : For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #111
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 'kumAra, tame rukmiNIne joI che kharI?' 'nA....' mane RSikumArano prazna samajAyo nahIM. Acharya Shri Kailassagarsuri Gyanmandir 99 to zuM joyA vinA ja enI sAthe lagna karazo? tame kharekharA pitRbhakta cho! lagna karyA pachI pasaMda nahIM paDe to zuM karazo?' RSikumAra hasI paDyA. hasavAnuM rokI kRtrima gaMbhIratA dhAraNA karI meM kahyuM: 'zuM tamane koI rahasyabhUta samAcAra maLyA che? rukmiNIne koI khoDakhAMpaNa to nathI ne? evuM kaMI jANavA maLyuM hoya to kahI dejo! to rAtre ja ahIMthI ravAnA thaI jaIe!' 'evA koI samAcAra nathI maLyA, paraMtu AvA mahattvapUrNa kAmamAM cokasAI to pUrI karI levI joIe ne? lUlI-laMgaDI to nahIM hoya, paraMtu kadAca zyAma haze to gamaze ne?' haju RSikumAra hasatAM hasatAM ja vAta karatA hatA. Aje teonA mukha para khUba AnaMda chavAyelo hato. meM temane kahyuM : 'RSikumAra, to eTaluM kAma AvatI kAle tame ja karI dejo ne! bhikSAnA bahAne rAjamahelamAM pahoMcI jajo ane kahejo ke 'huM to rAjakumArI rukmiNInA hAthe ja bhikSA grahaNa karIza ane ene AzIrvAda ApIza.' eka mitra tarIke ATaluM kAma karI Apo!' 'eTale mArI pasaMdagI-nApasaMdagI tamArI pasaMdagI-nApasaMdagI banI jaze? eka muninI pasaMdagI ane eka rAjakumAranI pasaMdagI - baMne vacce aMtara na hoI zake? amArI pasaMdagInuM mAdhyama rUpa nathI hotuM, guNa hoya che! saMsArI mANaso rUpanA mAdhyamathI pasaMdagI karatA hoya che!' 'RSidattAmAM rUpa ane guNa - baMneno samanvaya hato.' 'atyAre huM rukmiNInI vAta karuM chuM, RSidattAnI nahIM! rukmiNImAM rUpa haze paNa guNa nahIM hoya to? guNa haze ane rUpa nahIM hoya to?' 'RSikumAra, javA do ne A badhI vAto! mAre to mAtra e rAjakumArI sAthe lagna karIne rathamardana nagaramAM laI javAnI che.... ene rahevA mATe eka rAjamahela ApI daIza. nokara-cAkara ApI daIza.' For Private And Personal Use Only 'ane tame enI pAse nahIM jAo ema ne? e vizvAsaghAta nahIM kahevAya? tamArA pitAnI icchAne saMtoSavA khAtara tame eka strInA jIvana sAthe ramata nathI ramatA?'

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100, pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM ' 'to rAjakumArIe mArI sAthe ja lagna karavAnI haTha na karavI joIe ne? e mArI sAthe ja lagna karavAnI haTha laIne beThI che." rAjakumAra, mane e ucita lAge che ke tame rukmiNIne maLIne A vAta spaSTa karo! tamArI vAta sAMbhaLIne pachI e tamane paraNavAnI haTha rAkhe to vAMdho nahIM....' "have ene maLIne vAta karavAno avakAza ja kyAM che?' "to pachI enA pratye tame niSphara na banatA, rAjakumAra!" huM RSikumAra sAme joI rahyo. RSikumAra mArI sAme animeSa nayane joI rahyA hatA. ame baMne mauna thaI gayA. mane e vAta na samajAI ke RSikumAranA manamAM rukmiNI mATe sahAnubhUti kema che? paraMtu meM mArA mananuM samAdhAna karyuM : "game tema toye e vairAgI jIva che ne! karuNA to muninA haiyAmAM hoya ja! e karuNAthI prerAIne RSikumAre A vAto karI hoya.. koIne paNa du:kha thAya, evuM RSikumAra na ja icche!" meM RSikumArane kahyuM : RSikumAra, tamArI vAtane mAnya karuM chuM. rukmiNI pratye niSphara vyavahAra nahIM rAkhuM." RSikumAranA mukha para saMtoSanI rekhAo UpasI AvI. mane paNa saMtoSa thayo ane vAto karatAM karatAM ame nidrAdhIna thaI gayA. kAverInA ekeeka rAjamArgane zaNagAravAmAM Avyo hato. ghera ghera toraNa baMdhAyAM hatAM. mArgo para sugaMdhI jaLa chAMTavAmAM AvyuM hatuM. kAverInA prajAjanono harSa hiloLe caDhyo hato. Thera Thera maMgalagIto gavAI rahyAM hatAM. rAjamahAlayano zaNagAra cittAkarSaka hato. rAjaparivAra AnaMda-ullAsamAM jhUmI rahyo hato. rAjapurohite maMtroccAra karyA ane meM rukmiNInuM pANigrahaNa karyuM. rumiNI sAthe huM lagnagraMthithI joDAI gayo. rathamAM besIne ame amArA zveta mahelamAM AvyAM. meM mahelamAM AvIne RSikumArane zodhyA, paraMtu te na maLyA. paricArikAoe kahyuM : "teo bahAra gayA che ane ema kahIne gayA che ke huM kAle savAre pAcho AvIza." RSikumAranA aucityapAlana ane vyavahAradakSatA para huM rAjI thayo. sAthe ja temanA alpakAlIna virahathI vyathita paNa thayo. For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 101 rAtrinI nIrava zAMti hatI. gItavAjiMtrono dhvani zAMta thaI gayo. mArA AvAsamAM dIpako maMda maMda saLagI rahyA hatA. rukimaNI mArI pAse palaMga para beThI hatI. paraMtu koNa jANe kema mArA hRdayamAM enA pratye anurAga ja janmato na hato. meM jyAre enI sAme joyuM, enI AMkho mArA tarapha ja maMDAyelI hatI. enA mukha upara smita relAyuM. e mArI nikaTa AvI ane eNe mane prazna kayo : nAtha. e tapasvinI -RSidattA evI te kevI rUpavatI hatI ke jeNe ApanuM hRdaya harI lIdhuM hatuM? rukmiNInA prathama paricaye ja eno A prazana sAMbhaLI huM stabdha thaI gayo. mArA mukha para gaMbhIratA chavAI gaI. AMkho baMdha thaI gaI. mArI kalpanAsRSTimAM RSidattA upasthita thaI gaI. mAruM hRdaya vihvaLa banI gayuM. meM rukimaNIne kahyuM: tuM RSidattAnA rUpanuM varNana sAMbhaLavA icche che ne? to sAMbhaLa. meM enA jevuM rUpa A duniyAmAM bIjI koI strInuM joyuM nathI. mane lAge che ke sAkSAt kAmadevanI patnI paNa RSidattAnI dAsI banavAnuM pasaMda kare! nAgalokanI devIo paNa RSidattAnA caraNonI raja mAthe caDhAvavAnuM pasaMda kare!" meM Akho kholIne rukmiNI sAme joyuM. to eno cahero UtarI gayo hato! enI AMkho jhINI thaI gaI hatI.... e potAnA be hAtha masaLI rahI hatI. ene kahyuM : mAruM parama saubhAgya hatuM ke mane e rAjarSi-kanyA patnI tarIke maLI, paraMtu mAruM e saubhAgya devane na gamyuM. RSidattA saMkaTamAM mukAI ane mane eno viraha thayo." zuM Apane haju RSi dattA yAda Ave che?" rukmiNIe prazna karyo. RSidattAnI smRti to mArA zvAse zvAse vaNAI gaI che. huM ene kyAreya bhUlI na zakuM. A to eka daivayoga che ke eno viraha thayo ane tArI sAthe lagna thayAM." to zuM Apane mArA para prema...." prema? RSidarA sivAya koI strI pratye mArA haiye prema jAgavo azakya lAge che....' For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #114
102 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM to zuM e RSidattAnI AgaLa huM kAMI ja nathI?" rukimaNI palaMga parathI UbhI thaI gaI ane roSathI bolI UThI. : 'tuM? RSidattAnI AgaLa tAruM koI astitva ja nathI." mAruM to astitva tamArI sAme ja che, tamArI e RSidattAnuM astitva nAmazeSa thaI gayuM! kevI kalaMkita banI gaI tamArI e priyatamA? e rAjasabhAmAM AvelI yoginI sulatAne tame joI hatI ne? e yoginIne meM ja mokalI hatI!" miNInI vAta sAMbhaLIne huM stabdha thaI gayo. mArAM rUMvADA khaDAM thaI gayAM. huM phATelI AMkhe ene joI rahyo. e bolatI ja rahI.... "jyAre tame kaSidarAne paraNIne pAchA vaLI gayA, kAverI na AvyA, mane samAcAra maLyA... mAruM sukha jhUMTavI lenArI e jaMgalanI jogaNane huM sukhamAM mahAlavA dauM? meM sulatAne sAdhI. e maMtra-taMtramAM pAraMgata jogaNA che. kevI rIte RSidattAne phasAvavI enI rUparekhA meM ja ene ApI hatI..! - roja rAtre enuM mukha lohIthI kharaDAtuM hatuM ne? enA ozIke mAMsanA TukaDA maLatA hatA ne? roja nagaramAM eka mANasanI hatyA thatI hatI ne? e hatyAno Aropa tamArI e priyatamA para Avyo ne? mAruM sukha jhUMTavI lenAranI A ja durdazA thAya!" roSathI lAlacoLa banI gayelI rukmiNI hAMphI rahI hatI. mAruM mAthuM phATI rahyuM hatuM.... zarIranI naso taMga thaI gaI hatI - lohI garamAgarama thaI gayuM hatuM.... hAtha dhrUjI rahyA hatA... sAruM hatuM ke zayanakhaMDamAM talavAra paDI nahotI... nahIMtara e ja kSaNe huM strIhatyA karI besata. huM palaMga parathI Ubho thaI gayo. enA baMne hAtha mArA be hAthamAM jorathI jakaDIne meM rADa pADI : "are duSTA.... pApiNI.... teM ja AvuM bhayaMkara kukarma karAvyuM? e guNavatI ane rUpavatI RSidattAno vadha karAvyo? e mahAsatInA prANa laI lIdhA? kharekhara, teM tArI jAtane to narakamAM nAMkhI, sAthosAtha mane paNa narakamAM paTakI dIdho. tAro svArtha sAdhavA mATe teM kevuM aghorI kRtya karyuM?' meM dAMta bhIMsyAM. eka hAthe enA be hAtha jakaDIne bIjA hAthe enA vALa pakaDIne ene hacamacAvI nAMkhI.... palaMga upara paTakIne huM zayanagRhanI bahAra AvI gayo. For Private And Personal Use Only

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103 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM. mAruM hRdaya ghora vyathAthI valovAI rahyuM hatuM. huM asahya-akathya vedanAthI vyAkuLa banI gayo. AvuM dANa strIcaritra? potAno svArtha sAdhavA mATe A strI ATalI hade gaI? zuM A eno mArA pratyeno prema? nA, nA, prema nahIM, narI vAsanA... narI viSayAMdhatA.... jo Ane mArA pratye prema hota to e mArA sukhano vicAra karata. eNe mAro koI vicAra ja na karyo. eNe to nirdoSa RSidattAno kAMTo kADhI nAMkhavAnuM ghora pApa AcaryuM. vicAryuM : "A RSidattA rAja kumAra pAsethI dUra na thAya tyAM sudhI e kumAra mane paraNavA nahIM ja Ave. mAre e rAjakumArane ja paraNavuM che. e kumAranI huM vAgdattA chuM. kumAra mArI che. ene e AzramanI kanyA kevI rIte mohita karI le?' enI jAtIya vAsanA vikRta banI gaI ane eNe nirdoSa RSidattAno bhoga lIdho. paraMtu Ama karIne zuM e mane meLavI zakaze? zuM lagna karyA eTalA mAtrathI ene mAro prema maLI javAno che? AvI duSTA... adhama nArI upara prema thAya? arere.... RSidattA... mArA nimitte tAro vadha thayo. tuM A pApiNI. rukmiNInA paryaMtrano bhoga banI gaI. tArA vinAnuM mAruM jIvana vyartha banI gayuM che. have mAre konA mATe jIvavAnuM? have jIvIne mAre zuM karavuM che? nA, have huM jIvI ja nahIM zakuM. citAmAM paDIne prANatyAga karIza..... huM punaH zayanakhaMDamAM gayo. rukmiNI palaMgamAM UMdhI paDI rahI hatI. eNe enuM moTuM sADImAM chupAvI dIdhuM. meM ene kahyuM : "tuM tAre majethI jIvaje. khUba rAjI thaje. je mArge RSidattA gaI e ja mArge huM jaIza. prabhAte citAmAM praveza karIne prANa no tyAga karIza.' rukmiNI saphALI beThI thaI gaI. palaMgathI nIce UtarI mane vaLagavA AvI. meM ene be hAthe dhakko mArIne palaMga para pachADI dIdhI. dhutkArI kADhI ane kahyuM : "are pApiNI, huM tAruM moDhuM jovA paNa nathI icchato. mane aDavAno jarAya prayatna na karIza...." huM rukimaNIne tyAM ja choDI, bahAra Avyo. mahelanA jharUkhAmAM jaIne Ubho. pUrva dizAmAM aruNodaya thaI gayo hato. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #116
saMsAranI kevI viTaMbaNA? potAnA sukhanI khAtara manuSya bIjA manuSyane UMDI khINamAM dhakelI de che! potAnA sukhamaya jIvananI khAtara bIjA jIvAtmAne motanA kUvAmAM pheMkI de che! AvA ghora svArthI saMsAranuM mAre zuM kAma che? mAre nathI joItuM AvuM kalaMkita sukha. huM rukmiNIne sparza to na karI zakuM, enuM rUpa paNa jaI na zakuM. eNe karelo akSamya.... asahya aparAdha huM mApha karI zakuM nahIM... sAthe ja, mAre ene koI sajA paNa karavI nathI. mane have jIvanano paNa moha nathI... konA mATe jIvavAnuM? jenA saMge jIvanano umaMga hato te RSidatA have mane maLe ema nathI..... huM... kAyara... nisattva ene mRtyudaMDathI bacAvI na zakyo, to have mane jIvavAno adhikAra nathI.' huM zUnyamanaska banI gayo. meM mArA anucarane bolAvI kahI dIdhuM : "nagaranI bahAra citA khaDakI do. huM agnisnAna karIza." anucara stabdha banI gayo. ene kAMI samajAyuM nahIM. e tyAM ja Ubho rahyo. meM ene punaH kahyuM : tuM vilaMba na kara. jaladI jA ane citA khaDakI de.' enI AMkho AMsu sAravA lAgI. te raDI paDyo. enA rudanano avAja sAMbhaLI rAjamahelanA bIjA anucaro ane paricArikAo doDI AvyAM. sahu mauna UbhAM rahI gayAM. "nA nA, mahArAja kumAra, ema na karo.... agnisnAnano vicAra tyajI do. ApaNe Aje ja rathamardana nagare cAlyA jaIe.' nA, have pitAjI pAse paNa nathI javuM. kyAMya nathI javuM. tuM citA banAvI de. have huM jIvavA samartha nathI." paricArako paristhiti pAmI gayAM. teo doDatA rAjA surasuMdara pAse gayA. samAcAra jANIne rAjA surasuMdara zIdhra mArI pAse doDI AvyA. huM rAjamahelanAM pagathiyAM UtarI rahyo hato. rAjAe mane temanA bAhupAzamAM jakaDI lIdho. mane teo mahelamAM laI AvyA. badhA paricArakone dUra karI rAjAe mane khUba vAtsalyathI kahyuM : "kumAra, huM koI kAraNa jANato nathI ke tamAre agnisnAna zA mATe karavuM che, paraMtu tamAre AvuM strIsulabha akAya na karavuM joIe. game tevA duHkhamAM paNa parAkramI puruSa ApaghAtano vicAra na kare. tame svastha bano.' For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #117
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 105 meM kahyuM : 'rAjan, have svastha banavuM mArA mATe zakya nathI. mane jIvavAno rasa nathI. jhUrI jhUrIne jIvavA karatAM huM motane vadhu pasaMda karuM chuM. tame mane A nirNayanuM kAraNa na pUchazo.' mahArAjA surasuMdaranI AMkhomAMthI AMsunI dhArA vahevA lAgI. gadgad kaMThe teo bolyA : 'kumAra, acAnaka evuM zuM banI gayuM? mAruM kevuM durbhAgya? huM mahArAjA hemarathane zuM moDhuM batAvIza? nA, nA, kumAra, huM tamane koI paNa saMyogamAM agnisnAna nahIM karavA dauM.' amArI vAta cAlatI hatI tyAM RSikumAre amArA khaMDamAM praveza karyo, paraMtu teo dvA2mAM ja UbhA rahI gayA. mahArAjA bolI UThyA : padhAro padhAro.... RSikumAra. tame kumArane choDIne kyAM cAlyA gayA hatA?' mahArAjAe UbhA thaIne RSikumAranuM svAgata karyuM. RSikumAra AvIne mArI pAse palaMga para besI gayA. temaNe mArI sAme joyuM. mArI dRSTi jamIna para jakaDAI gaI hatI. mahArAjAe RSikumArane kahyuM : 'RSikumAra, A tamArA mitra agnisnAna karavA taiyAra thayA che. tame emane samajAvo. tame ja samajAvI zakazo.' meM joyuM to rAjAnI vAta sAMbhaLIne RSikumAra hasI rahyA hatA! temaNe mane kahyuM : 'kumAra, A zuM vAta che? mArI anupasthitimAM Avo nirNaya kema laI lIdho?' meM RSikumAranI sAme joyuM, RSikumAre mahArAjA sAme joIne teone khasI javA izAro karyo. mahArAjA tyAMthI UThIne cAlyA gayA. RSikumAra mArI nikaTa AvyA. mArA baMne hAtha temanA be hAthamAM pakaDI temaNe khUba snehapUrNa zabdomAM kahyuM : 'kumAra, zuM banyuM? jo mArAthI chupAvavA jevuM na hoya to kaho.' mArI dRSTimAM dRSTi parovIne temaNe vAta karI. mArI AMkho sajala banI gaI hatI. kaMTha avaruddha thaI gayo hato. meM gadgad svare kahyuM : 'munikumAra, tamane zuM kahuM ? tamArAthI meM mArA jIvananI koI vAta chupAvI nathI ke chupAvavI nathI, paraMtu je ghaTanA banI gaI che te eTalI badhI duHkhada che ke tamane kahIne du:khI karavAnA....' 'bhale, mitranA duHkhe duHkhI thavAmAM paNa AnaMda samAyelo hoya che! mane vAta ka2vAthI tamAruM duHkha haLavuM thaze.' For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #118
106 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM rAjamahelanA vAtAyanomAMthI prabhAtakAlIna taDako mahelamAM AvI gayo hato. mArAM badhAM ja prabhAtika kAryo bAkI hatAM, asvasthatA, udvega, saMtApa ane uttejanAthI huM gherAyelo hato chatAM, RSikumAranuM sAnnidhya mArA manane gamatuM hatuM. mane lAgatuM hatuM ke amAsanI ghora aMdhArI rAtri jevA mArA jIvanamAM eka tAro camakI rahyo che. meM muni kumArane kahyuM : "nikumAra, Aje rAtre eka gupta bheda khUlI gayo! RSidattA akalaMka siddha thaI gaI. te mAnavabhakSI na hatI. tenA upara irAdApUrvaka kalaMka mUkavAmAM AvyuM hatuM.....!' "zuM vAta karo cho kumAra? A tame kevI rIte jANyuM? konI pAsethI jANyuM?' muni kumAre visphArita nayane AturatAthI pUchyuM. meM jANyuM rukimaNI pAsethI. samagra SaDayaMtra rukimaNI racanArI hatI...' heM?' munikumAra palaMgamAMthI UbhA thaI gayA. meM temano hAtha pakaDI temane mArI pAse besADyA ane kahyuM : rukmiNIe sulasA nAmanI yoginInA sahakArathI RSidarAne kalaMkita karI hatI. mArA nagaramAM roja mAnavahatyA karanArI e yoginI hatI. RSidarAnuM mukha lohIthI lepanArI ane enA ozIke mAMsanA TukaDA mUkanArI e yoginI hatI!' "yogavidyAno Avo bhayaMkara durupayoga?' hA, ayogya ane apAtra jIvo koI paNa zaktino sadupayoga karI zakatA nathI. potAne maLelI zaktiono durupayoga karI svayaM potAno ja vinipAta sarje che!' "sAcI vAta che tamArI, kumAra! yoginIe potAnA tuccha svArthathI prerAIne AvuM bhayAnaka kukarma karyuM... nirdoSa RSidattAne..' motanI khINamAM dhakelI dIdhI.... munivara, mArA hRdayamAM enI ja ghora vedanA che... rukmiNIe mane meLavavA mATe, mArI sAthe lagna karavA mATe RSidattAnuM kAsaLa kaDhAvI nAMkhyuM ane A vAtanuM ene abhimAna che! e le che AvA karapINa kRtya para gaurava!" RSikumAra AMkho baMdha karI gaMbhIra vicAramAM DUbI gayA hatA. huM mauna thaI gayo. mAruM hRdaya saLagI rahyuM hatuM. mana raDI rahyuM hatuM. RSikumAre AMkho khalI, mArI sAme joyuM.... meM kahyuM : "RSikumAra, have mane jIvavAno koI rasa nathI. RSidanAno viraha mane ati vyAkuLa banAvI rahyo che. huM agnisnAna karIza.' For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #119
107 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 'kumAra, A saMsAra ja duHkhamaya che! agnisnAna karavAthI tame saMsArathI to mukti meLavI zakavAnA nathI. pharIthI kyAMka janma levo paDaze. tyAM vaLI bAMdhelAM pApakarmonuM phaLa bhogavavuM paDaze! ApaghAta e du:khathI chUTavAno mArga nathI, vadhu duHkhI thavAno mArga che.' huM muni kumAranI vAta sAMbhaLato rahyo. mArI pAse pratyuttara na hato. muni kumAre kahyuM : kumAra, zuM tame ema mAno cho ke ApaghAta karavAthI tamane bIjA bhavamAM RSidattA maLI jaze? evI bhramaNAmAM na rahezo. A anaMta saMsAramAM koI jIva kaI gatimAM jAya che, to koI jIva vaLI kaI gatimAM jAya che! emAMya ApaghAta karanAranI to prAyaH durgati ja thAya che. mATe Avo ayogya vicAra na karo. vaLI tame jyAre AzramamAM mane maLyA tyAre mane zuM kahIne sAthe lAvyA cho? tamArI AvI vAtathI mArA hRdayane keTaluM duHkha thAya, teno tame vicAra karyo?' "nikumAra, mane kSamA karo.... tamane huM jarAya duHkhI karavA nathI icchato, paraMtu.." paraMtu baraMtu kAMI nahIM, tamAre ApaghAta karavAno nathI. jo tame jIvatA hazo to kyAreka RSidattA maLI Avaze!" kevI asaMbhavita vAta karo cho manikumAra? have A bhavamAM RSidattA mane kevI rIte maLaze? e jIvatI hoya to maLe ne? paraMtu zuM mRtyu pAmelI e punaH jIvaMta banI zake kharI!" hA kumAra, tamArA AvA apUrva sattvathI ane zraddhAthI e punarjIvita paNa thAya!' pharIthI bolo, munivara pharIthI bolo. zuM tame ene kyAMya joI che? e jIvita che, evA samAcAra tamane maLyA che? tame bolo, RSikumAra.... mane tamArA para pUrNa zraddhA che. tamArI vAtane huM satya mAnuM chuM." huM palaMga parathI Ubho thaI gayo. RSikumAranA khabhA pakaDIne meM temane AjIjI karI. RSikumAranA mukha para smita khIlI UThyuM. temaNe mane kahyuM : kumAra, tame vacana Apo pahelAM, ke tame ApaghAta nahIM karo, agnisnAna nahIM karo.. pachI bIjI vAta karuM.' meM RSikumArane vacana ApyuM. RSikumAre kahyuM : kumAra, huM mArA jJAnathI jANuM chuM ke RSidattA kyAM che." For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #120
108 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM "zuM e jIvita che?" meM atyaMta utsukatAthI pUchyuM. hA kumAra! e jIvita che!" mane lalacAvo nahIM, munikumAra, turta ja kahI do... e kyAM che?" rAja kumAra, cAra dizAonA cAra adhipati hoya che, te tame jANo cho ne? temAM je dakSiNa dizAnA adhipati che, temanA nagaramAM RSidanA jIvita che." "ene huM kevI rIte lAvI zakuM?' e mATe kumAra, mAre mArI jAtane tyAM mUkavI paDe! mArA mitranI khAtara huM mArI jAtane tyAM samarpI daIza. ane RSidattA tyAMthI mukta thaze. tamane maLI jaze 'RSikumAra, huM tamane zuM ApuM? mAro AtmA tamane samarpI dauM chuM..... tamAro upakAra koI janmamAM nahIM bhUluM....' tamAro AtmA tamArI pAse rAkho, kumAra, paraMtu mArI eka vAta tame mAnazo?' eka nahIM, tamArI badhI ja vAta mAnIza paNa have tame vilaMba na karo.....' to, huM jyAre tamArI pAse vacana mAguM tyAre tamAre te ApavAnuM avazya, huM pratijJA karuM chuM." bhale! to huM have jAuM chuM, tamane thoDI ja kSaNomAM tamArI draSidattA maLI jaze... tamAruM kuzaLa thAo! tame sukhI thAo!" ema kahIne RSikumAra tyAMthI cAlyA gayA. meM be hAtha joDyA, mastaka namAvyuM. emanA bhavya samarpaNane huM hRdayathI vaMdI rahyo. emanI niHsvArtha maitrI upara huM ovArI gayo. huM mArA zayanakhaMDamAM RSidattAnI pratIkSA karato beTho hato! mRta RSidattA mane jIvaMta svarUpe maLavAnI hatI. jenA milananuM mane svapna paNa nahotuM AvyuM.... tenuM milana... yathArtha milana thavAnuM hatuM. thoDI kSaNomAM ja A apUrva... romAMcaka ghaTanA banavAnI hatI! mAro viSAda ogaLI gayo hato. mAro paritApa zAMta thaI gayo hato. mArAM romerome romAMcanAM phUla khIlI gayAM hatAM. koI avyakta AnaMda mArA hRdayamAMthI UbharAI rahyo hato. mahelanA jharUkhe menA ne popaTa AvIne besI gayAM hatAM. moranA zora zarU thaI gayA hatA. mahelamAM jIvaMtatA bhAsatI hatI. dIvAlo para aMkita citrapaTo For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #121
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 129 cetanavaMtA banI gayAM hatAM. huM palaMga parathI Ubho thayo. RSidattAnuM svAgata karavA ja jANe huM zayanakhaMDanA dvAra sudhI gayo! ane A koNa? RSidattA? mArI AMkho visphArita thaI gaI. mArA be hAtha prasArita thaI gayA. huM AgaLa vadhyo. | RSie mane praNAma karyA. meM dhArIdhArIne joyuM. e RSidattA ja hatI. meM mArI AMkhone masaLI. uttarIya vastrathI sApha karIhA, e RSidattA ja hatI, mArI bhramaNA na hatI. huM kaMI boluM te pahelAM to teNe ja mArI kuzaLatA pUchI "nAtha, Apa kuzaLa cho ne?' devI, tamane punaH prApta karIne kuzaLa ja nahIM, kRtArtha banI gayo....! mane tame maLyAM eTale jIvana maLyuM...' huM RSidattAnI sAthe mahelanI aTTAlikAmAM gayo. khullA AkAzanI nIce ame baMne UbhAM hatAM, tyAM AkAzamAMthI puSpavRSTi thavA lAgI. eka divya dhvani guMjI UThyo : "mAratI RSid Myatu!' A divya ghaTanA joIne mahArAjA surasuMdara rAjamahelamAM doDI AvyA. meM teone kahyuM : "RSikumAranI apUrva kRpAthI mane mArI RSidattA maLI gaI che!" mahArAjA atyaMta prasanna thaI gayA. teoe nagaravAsIone A vAta kahI, nagarajano RSidattAne joIne anahada AnaMdita thaI gayA. mahelanI paricArikAono vArtAlApa mArA kAne athaDAyo: 'AvI priyAne khAtara rAja kumAra agnisnAna na kare to konA mATe kare? kevuM adbhuta rUpa che RSidattAnuM? AnI AgaLa rukmiNI kAMI ja nathI. suvarNanI AgaLa naryuM loDhuM!" mahArAjA surasuMdare mane kahyuM : "rAjakumAra, RSidattAnI sAthe mArA paTTahastI para birAjamAna thAo ane mArA rAjamahelane pAvana karo." vividha vAdyo sAthe ane hajAro nagarajano sAthe nagaramAM amArI zobhAyAtrA nIkaLI. mAruM mana.... mArAM nayana.... RSidattAmAM parovAyelAM hatA. mArA manamAM jijJAsAono sAgara ghUghavI rahyo hato. mArI jihvA RSidattA sAthe premAlApa karavA Atura banI gaI hatI.... paraMtu mArI pAse ja mahArAjA surasuMdara beThA hatA. huM mauna hato, RSidattA paNa mauna hatI. chatAM e maunamAM madhuratA hatI. amArAM hRdayono paraspara vArtAlApa to kyAranoya zarU thaI gayo hato! For Private And Personal Use Only

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RSidattAnI acAnaka prApti thavAnA niravadhi AnaMdamAM mAro pahADa jevaDo viSAda ogaLI gayo! mAruM jIvanaAkAza nirabhra banI gayuM hatuM. priyajanano saMyoga mAnavahRdayane harSathI kevuM jhaMkRta karI de che, eno mane pratyakSa anubhava thayo. | RSidanA kevI rIte jIvaMta rahI - e jANavAnI jijJAsAne hRdayamAM dAbIne huM ekAMtano avasara zodhato hato! paraMtu ame - huM ane RSidattA surasuMdaranA mahemAna banyAM hatAM. mahArAjA surasuMdara praphullita banyA hatA. enuM kAraNa RSidanA mane maLI AvI, e nahIM hoya paraMtu meM ApaghAta karavAno vicAra paDato mUkI dIdho, e hovuM joIe. mAruM agnisnAna emanA mATe paNa agnisnAnanuM ja nimitta banI jAta! mArI svasthatAthI, prasannatAthI emano UMce caDhI gayelo jIva nIce beTho hato. alabatta emanA manamAM paNa prazna ghoLAto ja haze, ke meM acAnaka agnisnAna karavAno nirNaya zA mATe karyo. temaNe rukmiNIne paNa pUchyuM haze. rukimaNIe emanA mananuM samAdhAna thAya, tevI spaSTa vAta nahIM ja karI hoya. nahIMtara, amane bhAvapUrvaka bhAvatAM bhojana jamADIne, mUlyavAna alaMkAro ane vastrothI amAruM bahumAna karIne, RSidattAne mahArANI pAse besADIne, mahArAjA ane teonA ekAMta maMtraNAkhaMDamAM na laI jAya! teoe premALa zabdomAM mane kahyuM : "kumAra, cAlo ApaNe have zAMtithI thoDI vAto karIe, pachI ArAma karIe. RSidattA rANI sAthe bhale vAto kare. rANIne paNa AnaMda thaze.' meM RSidattA sAme joyuM, eNe saMmatisUcaka mastaka halAvyuM. huM mahArAjAnI sAthe Ubho thayo. mahArAjA mane teonA maMtraNAgRhamAM laI gayA. ame beThA. huM maMtraNAgRhanI dIvAlo para lAgelAM yuddhacitrone jovA lAgyo. mahArAjA mauna hatA. temanA mukha para gaMbhIratA chavAyelI hatI, viSAda paNa kharo. teoe dhImA svare mane kahyuM : kumAra, bahu sAruM karyuM tame.... tamArA vicAra badalIne... nahIMtara mAre paNa jIvavA jevuM na raheta." huM mauna rahyo. mArI dRSTi jamIna para sthira hatI. "kumAra, zuM tame mane kahezo ke tamAre Avo ati gaMbhIra vicAra zA mATe For Private And Personal Use Only

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11 1 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM karavo paDyo? Aje savArathI rukmiNI paNa annajaLano tyAga karIne ja rahI che. meM ene zubha samAcAra ApyA tyAre teNe rovAnuM baMdha karyuM che.' meM nIcI dRSTie ja pratyuttara ApavA mAMDyo : mahArAjA, mArA agnisnAna karavAnA nirNayanuM kAraNa Apa - jANo to sAruM che. e jANavAthI Apane sukha nahIM thAya, bhAre duHkha thaze.' have evuM duHkha nahIM thAya kumAra, kAraNa ke tame have svastha cho, prasanna cho. joke mAre tamane na pUchavuM joIe, chatAM e jANavuM kadAca mane bIjI daSTie paNa upayogI banI zake." mane paNa lAgyuM ke mahArAjAne vAstavika paristhiti jaNAvavI joIe. sAthe sAthe teo miNIne sajA na kare, tenI bAMhedharI paNa laI levI joIe. meM mahArAjAne kahyuM : mahArAjA, Apane jyAre kAraNa jANavuM ja che to e kAraNa batAvuM chuM, paraMtu Apa mane vacana Apo ke e jANyA pachI Apa ApanI putrIne koI kaThora daMDa nahIM karo." kumAra, e aMge tame nirbhaya raho. rumiNIne meM tamArI sAthe paraNAvI che, eTale enA para tamAro saMpUrNa adhikAra che. tamArI icchA viruddha huM rukmiNIne koI sajA nahIM karuM.' mahArAjAe lAgaNIbharyA zabdomAM bAMhedharI ApI. "Apa jANo cho ke pahelI vAra jyAre huM lagna mATe kAverI AvavA nIkaLyo hato tyAre mArgamAMthI ja huM pAcho pharyo hato kAraNa ke mArgamAM AvatA AzramamAM RSikanyA RSidattA sAthe meM lagna karI lIdhAM hatAM. e pachI tamArI kanyA sAthe lagna karavAno mArA manamAM jarAya umaLako na rahyo hato. RSidattAnI sAthe mArA divaso sukhamAM pasAra thatA hatA.... tyAM acAnaka mArA nagaramAM duHkhada ane Azcaryajanaka ghaTanA banavA lAgI. roja rAtre eka nagaravAsInI hatyA thavA lAgI ane RSidattAnuM mukha lohIthI kharaDAvA mAMDyuM! enA ozIkA nIcethI mAMsanA TukaDA maLavA lAgyA....! mane saMpUrNa vizvAsa hato traRSidanA para.. enI nirdoSatA, saralatA. dayALutA.... meM AzramamAM paNa joI hatI. e hatyA....mAnava-hatyA na ja kare... huM roja vahelI savAre UThIne enuM mukha dhoI nAMkhato ane mAMsanA TukaDA khALamAM pheMkI deto. paraMtu roja-roja nagaramAM mAnavahatyA cAlu hatI.... tethI mArA pitAjIe hatyA karanArane pakaDavA AkAza-pAtALa eka karavA mAMDyAM. sainiko ane For Private And Personal Use Only

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112 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM guptacaroe hatyArAne pakaDavAnA ghaNA upAyo karyA, chatAM hatyAro na pakaDAyo. tyAre pitAjIe maMtra-taMtrane jANanArA bAvA-jogI-saMnyAsIone rAjasabhAmAM teDAvyA, hatyArAne pakaDavA mATe temane temanI maMtrazaktino prayoga karavA kahyuM. koI taiyAra thayuM nahIM.... tethI pitAjIe gusse thaIne te sahune rAjya choDIne cAlyA javAnI AjJA karI. tyAM ja rAjasabhAmAM eka saMnyAsinIe praveza karyo ane eNe RSidattA upara hatyAno Aropa mUkyo. eNe pramANa ApyuM : RSidattAnuM mukha roja lohIvALuM thAya che, roja enA ozIkethI mAMsanA TukaDA nIkaLe che. rAjakumAra A jANe che... chatAM patnImAMthI chupAve che...' vagere... pitAjIne e rAtre mane irAdApUrvaka potAnI pAse suvADyo ane tyAM mArA zayanagRhanI AsapAsa guptacaro goThavI dIdhA.. vahelI savAre RSidattAnuM mukha lohIthI raMgAyeluM guptacaroe joI lIdhuM.... aMte temaNe mArA pitAjIne jaNAvI dIdhuM... pitAjIe RSidattAne "rAkSasI kahI ane eno vadha karavAnI jallAdone AjJA ApI dIdhI.... jallAdo ene....' huM AgaLa na bolI zakyo mArI AMkho bhInI thaI gaI hatI. mAro kaMTha avaruddha thaI gayo hato. hRdayamAM sulasA yoginI para roSa bhabhUkI UThyo hato. mahArAjA surasuMdara paNa uttejita thaI gayA hatA. temaNe mane pUchayuM : kumAra, banelI durghaTanAmAM RSidattA para Aropa Ave, tevuM ja banyuM che! RSidattAnI nirdoSatAno purAvo mAtra tamAruM hRdaya che. e sivAya bIjI koI purAvo dekhAto nathI." e purAvo gaI rAtrimAM maLI gayo... mahArAjA..." kevI rIte? kyAMthI maLyo? 'tamArI putrIe purAvo Apyo!' rukmiNIe! zuM kaho cho?' jI hA, A samagra SaDyuMtranI sUtradhAra ApanI putrI hatI ApanI putrI! eNe ja enA zrImukhe potAnuM parAkrama kahI batAvyuM!' 'duSTA... adhama.... kulaTA..'mahArAjA surasuMdara roSathI dhamadhamI UThyA.. siMhAsana parathI UbhA thaI gayA. meM teono hAtha pakaDIne besADyA ane kahyuM: mahArAjA, haju vAta adhUrI che, rukimaNIe A SakSetra kema racyuM ane kevI rIte racyuM, te vAta haju kahevAnI bAkI che. meM RSidattA sAthe lagna karI lIdhAM e rukimaNIne jarAya gamyuM nahIM. e mArI sAthe lagna karavA icchatI hatI. teNe vicAryuM ke jyAM sudhI mArI pAse For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 113 RSidattA che tyAM sudhI huM enI sAthe lagna nahIM karuM. eTale RSidattAne mA2I pAsethI dU2 ka2vA teNe yojanA vicArI. e yojanAne pAra pADavA tene sulasA nAmanI eka jogaNa maLI gaI.... sulasA pAse yogazakti che, maMtrazakti che. rukmiNIe ene sAdhI. sulasA rathamardana nagaramAM AvI ane eNe roja nagaramAM mAnavahatyA karavA mAMDI. yogazaktithI eNe RSidattAnuM mukha lohIthI kharaDavA mAMDyuM, enA ozIke mAMsanA TukaDA chupAvavA mAMDyAM. RSidattA upara kalaMka mUkyuM. ene motane ghATa utArI dIdhI. kaho rAjana, RSidattAnI nirdoSatAno AnAthI vadhIne bIjo koI purAvo joIe che?' mahA2AjAnuM zarIra roSathI kaMpI rahyuM hatuM. temanI AMkho pahoLI thaI gaI hatI. mukha para ghora viSAdanAM vAdaLo gherAI gayAM hatAM. 'AvuM dhorAtighora kukarma rukmiNIe karAvyuM? sulasA jogaNe karyuM? yogazaktino Avo bhayaMkara durupayoga...?' mahArAjA UbhA thaI gayA. bhIMta para laTakatI kaTArIne eka jhATake kheMcI kADhI ane bahAra javA lAgyA.... huM ekadama Ubho thaI gayo. tvarita gatie mahArAjA pAse jaI, temane mArA bAhupAzamAM pakaDI lIdhA. 'kumAra, mAre AvI putrI nathI joItI.... mArA nagaramAM AvI jogaNa nathI joItI.... huM e baMnene yamalokamAM pahoMcADIza....' 'nahIM mahArAjA, Ape mane vacana ApeluM che. Apa rukmiNIne sajA nahIM karo. eno aparAdha mApha karI do. kAraNa ke enA AkharI prayatno hovA chatAM RSidattA mane jIvatI maLI gaI che!' meM rAjAnA hAthamAMthI kaTArI laI lIdhI ane temane palaMga para suvADI ArAma karavA kahyuM. paraMtu e ArAma kyAMthI kare? temaNe turta paricArikAne bolAvIne, rukmiNIne hAjara karavA Adeza karyo. meM mahArAjAne kahyuM : 'ApanI anumati hoya to huM RSidattAne laI zveta mahelamAM jAuM.' 'hamaNAM tamo beso kumAra, huM pelI duSTa jAgaNane ahIM bolAvuM chuM.' huM maMtraNAgRhanI aTTAlikAmAM gayo. sUrya astAcala tarapha jhUkyo hato. paMkhIo vRkSo para vizrAma karatAM hatAM. AkAza svaccha hatuM. dhImA pagale rukmiNI maMtraNAgRhamAM pravezI. mArI ane enI dRSTi maLI. turta eNe potAnI dRSTi nIcI karI dIdhI. eNe enA pitAnA caraNomAM namaskAra karyA. mahArAjAe ene pUchyuM : For Private And Personal Use Only

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114 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 'tuM sulasA jogaNane oLakhe che ne?' eNe mastaka jhukAvI hA pADI. 'e kyAM rahe che, hamaNAM e kyAM maLaze, e vigata tAre jaNAvavAnI che.' rukmiNIe dhImA svare vigata ApI. mahArAjAe paricArikAne kahyuM : 'jA, senApatijIne bolAvI lAva.' paricArikAe mahArAjAne namana karyuM ane senApatine bolAvavA cAlI gaI. huM bAhya aTTAlikAmAM ja Ubho hato. rukmiNI paNa haju UbhI ja rahI hatI. mahArAjAno kaThora ane kaDavo avAja mArA kAne paDyo. 'rukmiNI, teM tAruM jIvana naSTa karyuM, mArI kIrtine kalaMkita karI. tArI mAtAnI kUkha lajAvI. teM kevuM adhama kRtya karyuM? eka nirdoSa yuvarAjJI para bhayAnaka kalaMka mukAvyuM. ene motanI khAImAM dhakko marAvyo? tane jarAya vicAra na Avyo ke e paNa tArA ja jevI rAjakanyA hatI. ene paNa sukhazAMtinI kAmanA hatI. tArA svArtha khAtara teM eno bhoga levA prayatna karyo, tane zuM maLyuM? teM dago daIne kanakarathakumAra sAthe lagna karyAM, paraMtu have e tAruM kAjaLazyAma moM jovAnuM paNa pasaMda karaze? kumAra to puNyazALI che.... ene to punaH RSidattA maLI gaI. have tuM tArI jiMdagI AMsuo, nisAsAo ane hAyabaLApA sAthe pUrI karaje. joke tAro aparAdha evo che ke tane motanI sajA thavI joIe. paraMtu kanakarathakumAre mane vacanabaddha karI lIdho che. tane sajA nahIM karavAnuM temaNe mArI pAsethI vacana laI lIdhuM che. nahIMtara Aje mArA hAthe ja putrIhatyAnuM pApa thaI jAta.' mahArAjA surasuMdara zvAsabhera bolI rahyA hatA. rukmiNI dhrUjI rahI hatI. tenI AMkhomAMthI AMsuo TapakatAM hatAM. tenA rudananA sisakArA mane saMbhaLAtA hatAM. paricArikAe maMtraNAgRhamAM praveza karI mahArAjAne namI nivedana karyuM : 'senApatijI AvI gayA che. ApanI AjJA hoya to aMdara Ave.' 'teo AvI zake che.' mahArAjA kaMIka svastha thayA. rukmiNI namana karI eka bAju sarakIne UbhI rahI. huM mArI jagAe ja Ubho hato. mArI dRSTi nIlagagana tarapha maMDAyelI hatI, chatAM avAranavAra aMdaranA khaMDamAM dRSTi cAlI jatI hatI. senApatie AvIne mahArAjAne praNAma karyA ane mahArAjAnI sAme paDelA bhadrAsana para besI gayA. 'senApatijI, ApaNA nagaramAM 'sulasA' nAmanI eka duSTa jogaNa rahe che. For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 1 15 tene pakaDI maMgAvajo. tenAM nAka-kAna kapAvI nAMkho. gadheDA upara besADajo. AgaLa Dhola vagaDAvajo. AkhA nagaramAM pheravajo ane pachI ApaNA rAjyanI bahAra kADhI mUkajo.' ' huM mahArAjAnI AjJA sAMbhaLI rahyo hato, aimiNIne joI rahyo hato. amiNInA zvAsa adhdhara baMdhAI gayA hatA. bhayanI AzaMkAthI te khUba vyAkuLa thaI gaI hatI. senApatie kahyuM : "mahArAjA, ApanI AjJAnuM akSarazaH pAlana thaze. ApanA kahyA mujaba e jogaNane rAjya bahAra kADhIne, ApanA caraNomAM sevaka upasthita thaze." mahArAjAne namana karIne senApati cAlyA gayA. mahArAjAe rukmiNIne kahyuM : "jA, have tAre tArA bhAgyane sahAre jIvavAnuM che. tArA khodelA khADAmAM tuM ja paDI che. kumAra kanakarathano koI doSa nathI. have tuM tArA sthAne jaI zake che.' rukmiNI AMsubharelI AMkhe tyAMthI cAlI gaI. kSaNabhara mArA hRdayamAM enA pratye karuNA AvI gaI. paraMtu e mAtra kSaNika vIjaLIno camakAro hato. enAM karapINa karatUto smRtimAM AvatAM, enA pratye tIvra aNagamAnAM vAdaLo gherAI AvyAM. huM mahArAjA pAse gayo. ane teoe AdarapUrvaka potAnI pAse besADIne kahyuM: "kumAra, RSidattA haripeNa rAjarSinI putrI che. mahArAjA hariSaNa sAthe amAro gADha snehasaMbaMdha hato. eTale RSidattAne huM mArI ja putrI mAnuM chuM. huM RSidattAne to kahIza ja, tamane paNa kahuM chuM ke A ghara RSidattAnuM pitRgRha ja che. mArI tamane AgrahabharI vinaMtI che ke tame thoDAka divaso ahIM raho. tame have nizcita rahejo. rukimaNI have tamArA mArgamAM ADe nahIM Ave. tame A rAjyanA ramaNIya pradezomAM pharo. A rAjya tamAruM ja che, ema samajIne tame raho. mane to kharekhara, A saMsAra pratye rAga ja nathI rahyo. mahArAjA surasuMdaranI AMkho bhInI thaI gaI hatI. temano eka hAtha mArI pITha para pharI rahyo hato. bIjA hAthe teo uttarIya vastrathI AMkho lUchI rahyA hatA, meM teone kahyuM : Apa mArA mATe pitAtulya cho. ApanI AjJA mane zirodhArya che. huM ahIM thoDA divaso rokAIza... paraMtu mArI eka vinaMtI che ke Apa have svastha rahejo ane rukimaNIno aparAdha bhUlI jajo." For Private And Personal Use Only

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RSidattAnI sAthe huM zveta mahelamAM pAcho Avyo. rAtrino prAraMbha thaI gayo hato. mahelanA bAhya bhAgamAM ane aMdara dIpako saLagI rahyA hatA. samagra nagaramAM utsavanuM vAtAvaraNa jAmeluM hatuM. mArA manamAM paNa utsavano ullAsa hato. sAthe sAthe, aneka jijJAsAothI huM uttejita paNa hato. zayanakakSamAM pravezyA pachI, kaMIka svastha banIne meM RSidattAne pUchyuM : devI, Aje savAre tame AvyAM tyArathI mArA manamAM e jANavAnI jijJAsA saLavaLI rahI che ke tame jIvaMta kevI rIte rahyA? jIvaMta rahevAnA koI saMyogo ja na hatA..." RSidanA nIce jamIna para beThI hatI. huM palaMga para beTho hato. teNe mArI sAme joyuM. enI AMkhomAM e ja haraNa jevI nirdoSatA taravaratI hatI. enA mukha para evI ja candra jevI saumyatA chavAyelI hatI.... jevI saumyatA pahelAM enA mukha para chavAyelI hatI. teNe kahyuM : nAtha, e vAta bahu lAMbI nathI, chatAM mArA manobhAvonI abhivyakti sAthe jo e ghaTanAnuM varNana karuM to samaya vadhu lAgaze. ApanI nidrAmAM vilaMba thaze.' nA nA, mane nidrA AvatI ja nathI. mAre e badhuM ja athathI iti sudhI sAMbhaLavuM che, jANavuM che.'RSidanA svastha banI, kSaNabhara AMkho baMdha karI.... UMDA vicAramAM garakAva thaI gaI ane bolI : svAmInAtha, jyAre ApanA pitAjI atyaMta roSathI dhamadhamatA ApaNA zayanagRhamAM dhasI AvyA ane mArA mAthAnA vALano coTalo pakaDI mane DhasaDavA mAMDyA tyAre mArI kalpanAmAM na Ave tevI akathya vedanA meM anubhavI. mArI asahAya... nirAdhAra dazA joI... A pUrve Apa mArI pAse AvI gayA ja hatA. Ape mane thoDI kSaNomAM ja AvanArI Apattino aNasAra ApI dIdho hato.... paraMtu Ape je chelluM vAkya kaheluM.... teNe mArA hRdayane vyathita karI dIdhuM hatuM.... Apane kadAca yAda nahIM hoya.. kAraNa ke Apa roSamAM hatA.... Ape mane sAMje sAvadhAnI ApI hatI. ke "Aje rAtre mAre For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 117. pitAjInI pAse sUvAnuM che. savAre UThIne tuM tAruM mukha dhoI nAMkhaje ane mAMsanA TukaDA khALamAM pheMkI deje..." paraMtu huM vahelI UThI zakI na hatI ane guptacaroe mAruM lohIthI kharaDAyeluM mukha joI lIdhuM hatuM tethI Apa mArA para nArAja thayA hatA ane Ape kahyuM hatuM : have je kaMI bane, te huM na jANuM. mArI sUcanAno teM amala na karyo.' ATaluM Apa bolI rahyA. tyAM ja ApanA pitAjI dhasI AvyA hatA. jyAre emaNe mArA vALa pakaDI mane DhasaDIne zayanagRhanI bahAra kADhavA mAMDI tyAre meM AMsu nItaratI ane dayAmaNI AMkhe ApanI sAme joyuM hatuM. Apa mane choDAvavA najIka AvyA. tyAM Apane dhakko mArI pitAjIe dUra haDaselI dIdhA hatA. Apa jyAre talavAra laI ApanA ja gaLe prahAra karavA jatA hatA tyAM pitAjIe ApanA hAthamAMthI talavAra chInavI laI Apane staMbha sAthe bAMdhI dIdhA hatA. ApanI A sthiti joI meM mArI jAtane saMpUrNa asahAya joI. huM dhrusake dhrusake raDatI hatI. tyAM mane bacAvanAra koI na hatuM. pitAjIe mane jallAdonA hAthamAM soMpI dIdhI. e jallAdoe mArA zarIrane kevuM kadarUpuM karI nAMkhyuM hatuM te Apane jovA na maLyuM! joke e sAruM ja thayuM hatuM, nahIMtara Apa AtmabhAna gumAvI deta.' 'e varNana ApaNI dAsIe mArI AgaLa karyuM hatuM... e sAMbhaLIne mAruM haiyuM kALo kakaLATa karI UThyuM hatuM...' evuM bihAmaNuM mAruM rUpa karI devAmAM AvyuM hatuM, jANe zuM rAkSasI na houM! rAjamArgo para mane pheravavAmAM AvI hatI. mArI AgaLa Dhola vAgatA hatA.... mArA kalpAMtano koI pAra na hato.... jyAre smazAna AvyuM tyAre sUrya asta thaI gayo.... mane jallAdo smazAnamAM laI gayA. eka jagyAe mane UbhI rAkhavAmAM AvI. eka jallAda bolyo : "are krUra rAkSasI, have tAro kALa AvI gayo che.... teM ghaNA nAgarikonuM mAMsa khAdhuM che. lohI pIdhuM che... enuM phaLa have bhogava. tArA iSTadevanuM smaraNa karI le. ahIM tArI dayA khAnAra koI nathI...' Ama kahIne e jallAde potAnuM khaga havAmAM ghumAvyuM... mArI AMkho pahoLI thaI gaI.... huM bebAkaLI banI gaI.... kSaNavAramAM bhAna gumAvIne huM jamIna para paDI gaI... basa, pachI mane khabara na rahI ke e jallAdo kema cAlyA gayA.... jyAre mane bhAna AvyuM tyAre tyAM koI ja na hatuM. AkAzamAM For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #130
118 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM candra hato. smazAnanuM bhayAnaka vAtAvaraNa hatuM. jaMgalanAM pazuo hatAM. dhImo dhImo pavana vAto hato. mane lAgyuM ke e pavananA zItaLa sparzathI ja huM bhAnamAM AvI hatI. kSaNabhara to huM e jallAdonI kalpanAthI dhrujI UThI, paraMtu dhIme pagale AsapAsa pharIne meM joyuM to koI paNa mANasa dekhAyo nahIM. meM mArA manamAM jhaDapI nirNaya karI lIdho. mAthe bAMdheluM nALiyera tyAM pheMkI daI, huM jhaDapathI smazAnamAMthI bahAra nIkaLI gaI ane jaMgalanA mArge doDavA mAMDI. mArI jeTalI zakti hatI... te badhI ja zakti lagAvIne doDavA mAMDI.... mane lAgyuM ke huM rathamardana nagarathI khUba dUra nirjana vanamAM AvI pahoMcI chuM. huM eka paththara para besI paDI. khUba thAkI gaI hatI. bhaya, saMtApa ane vedanAthI huM gherAI gayelI hatI. mane tyAM mArA svargastha pitAjI yAda AvI gayA.... ane huM dhrusake dhrusake raDI paDI... mAruM rudana mArA e pitAjInA kAne paDyuM haze ke kema te huM nathI jANatI, paraMtu huM to ema ja mAnatI hatI ke mAro kalpAMta teo jarUra sAMbhaLatA ja haze... he tAta, tame jyAM ho tyAMthI tamArI A putrIne to juo. mArA mAthe duHkhanA DuMgarA tUTI paDyA che. pitAjI, jaladI Avo ane mane bacAvI lo... bApujI, have huM tamane choDIne kyAMya nahIM jAu.... huM tamArI sevA karIza.... ApaNe ApaNA AzramamAM rahIzuM... mArA tAta, tamane mArA upara prema nathI? tamArI A dIkarI keTalI vahAlI che? tame atyAre kyAM cho, tAta? hA, ja abhAgaNa chuM, tAta.... meM Apane prANatyAga karavA dIdho.... huM paNa jo ApanI pAchaLa e bhaDabhaDatI AgamAM kUdI paDI hota to...? tAta, tame mane sAthe kema na laI gayA? atyAre huM jIvate jIva duHkhanI AgamAM baLI rahI chuM. pitAjI, mArAthI A kAramI vedanA sahana thatI nathI..... huM bhagavAna RSabhadevanuM smaraNa karIne, emanI sAkhe kahuM chuM ke tAta, meM koI khoTuM kAma nathI karyuM. ApanA ApelA saMskArone jarAya DAgha nathI lagADyo.... chatAM tAta, mArA upara kevuM kalaMka AvI gayuM? tAta, meM pUrvabhavamAM kevA pApa karyA haze? Ape kaheluM hatuM.... mane yAda che. "beTI, A jIvanamAM je du:kha Ave che te ApaNAM ja bAMdhelAM pApakarmothI Ave che...." sAcI vAta che ApanI.... bIjA koIno doSa nathI... mArAM ja evAM pApakarma hoya... pachI mArA sasarAne evuM ja sUjhe.... ane mArA svAmInAtha paNa zuM kare? e mane bacAvI na zakyA...." For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #131
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM "vhAlA tAta.... o pitAjI.... tamArI A nirdoSa. niraparAdhI beTIno hAtha pakaDo.... huM asahAya abaLA... kyAM jAuM? konI pAse jAuM?" madhyarAtrino samaya thaI gayo haze. pitAjInuM ekAgra citte dhyAna karatI rahI. tyAM acAnaka mane AbhAsa thayo.... jANe mArA e vatsala pitA mane kahevA lAgyA : "beTI, AvI jA ApaNA AzramamAM.... ahIM paramAtmA.. RSabhadevanI chAyAmAM te nirbhaya rahIza...' ane mArA zarIre romAMca thaI gayo. mArI romarAjI vikasvara thaI gaI. mArI AMkho harSanAM AMsuthI UbharAvA lAgI. mArA hRdayamAM bhagavAna RSabhadevanAM darzana thayAM.... avyakta AnaMdathI huM jhUmI UThI, mArA thAkI gayelA zarIramAM zaktino saMcAra thato lAgyo. meM AkAzamAM joyuM. AkAzanA tArAonA AdhAre meM dizAono nirNaya karyo. pitAjIno Azrama dakSiNa dizAmAM hato. meM dakSiNa dizAmAM jhaDapathI paga upADyA. have mArI kalpanAmAM mAro e ati priya Azrama sAkAra banyo hato. AzramanI mArI asaMkhya smRtio UbharAvA mAMDI hatI. jyAM mAro janma tharyo hato.... jyAMnI dhULamAM huM ramI hatI. jyAMnAM puSpo sAthe meM prema karyo hato.... jyAMnA sarovaramAMthI meM pANI bharyA hatAM. jyAMnA jinAlayamAM meM trikAla pUjA, stavanA, arcanA karI hatI... e AzramanI smRtio mArA saMtapta hRdayane apUrva sAttvanA ApatI hatI... mArA pitAjI...rAjarSi hatA e... chatAM mane ucherIne emaNe moTI karI hatI. mAtAnA mRtyu pachI e ja mAtA hatA. e ja bhrAtA.... e ja pitA hatA ane e ja guru hatA.... mAtAnI mamatA ApI hatI.... bhAIno sneha Apyo hato... pitAnI hUMpha ApI hatI.... guru banIne zikSaNa ApyuM hatuM. kevI sukhamaya, ullAsamaya mArI kumArAvasthA vItI hatI? duHkhane huM oLakhatI na hatI. vedanAno mane svapneya paNa khyAla na hato. jaMgalanAM nirdoSa haraNonI sAthe karelI bALaramato ane vinoda.... mArI AMkho sAme taravaravA lAgyAM... Aje pAchI e AzramanI dharatI pAse huM jaI rahI hatI. - prabhAta thaI gayuM hatuM. AzramanI dizA tarapha huM cAlI rahI hatI. rAjamArga para huM AvI gaI hatI... A ja mArge huM rathamardana nagara ApanI sAthe AvI hatI. meM vAvelA choDa UgI gayA hatA! e mArA choDavAonI nizAnIe huM tvarAthI cAlI rahI hatI. e mArga upara, nAtha! ApanI madhura smRti AvI gaI hatI.... sAthe ja, chelle chelle joyelI ApanI baMdhanagrasta avasthA paNa. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #132
120. pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM yAda AvI gaI hatI ane huM mArga vacce ja besI paDI hatI. thoDIka Aha nIkaLI... AMsu sarI paDyAM.... ane vaLI UbhI thaI cAlavA lAgI. ApanI sAthe, ApanA saMge vitAvelA sukhanA divaso jANe svapna hatuM.... jANe indrajALa hatI.... ema lAgyuM. "kevuM nahIM ciMtaveluM badhuM banI gayuM?' vaLI mana vyAkuLatA anubhavavA mAMDyuM. huM AzramanA bAhya pradezamAM pahoMcI gaI. bhagavAna RSabhadevanA jinAlayanAM darzana thayAM. "namo niVIIM' bolI meM mastaka namAvyuM. jhaDapathI cAlIne huM AzramanA dvAre jaI UbhI rahI. Azrama nirjana hato, chatAM jinAlayanA zikhara para beThelA more TahukAra karI mAruM svAgata karyuM. mArI DAbI AMkha phurAyamAna thavA lAgI. meM paramAtmAne be hAtha joDI namaskAra karyA ane AzramanI dharatI para paga mUkyo. jamaNI bAju najara gaI. pitAjInA agnisnAnanI jagAe UbhelA stUpane joyo.... ane huM doDI. stUpanI sAme besI.... ane poka mUkIne raDI paDI. hRdayano baMdha tUTI paDyo.... "are tAta, tamArI A vahAlI putrI tamArA zaraNe AvI che....... tamArA caraNe. pitAjI, darzana Apo. pANI vinAnI mAchalI jema huM taraphaDI rahI chuM. A dIna-hIna ane ekAkI tamArI putrIne darzana Apo, tAta... azaraNa.... asahAya banI gaI chuM... motanA dvAre jaIne pAchI AvI chuM. mArA tAta! A zUnyavanamAM konI pAse jaIne mArAM duHkha kahuM? mane ahIM koNa AzvAsananA be zabdo paNa kahe? Avo tAta, tame pAchA Avo.... have huM Apane choDIne kyAMya nahIM jAuM...' dhIre dhIre lathaDate page huM UbhI thaI..... sUpane vaMdanA karI.... ane pitAjI je kuTiramAM rahetA hatA, te kuTiramAM jaIne sAphasUphI karI. pitAjI je vyAghacarma pAtharatA hatA, te vAghacarma haju tyAM paDeluM hatuM. te pAtharIne, huM sarovaranA kinAre gaI... tyAM meM snAna karyuM... vastrone dhoyAM, mAthe vALanI jaTA bAMdhI lIdhI. tyAMthI huM jaMgalamAM gaI. jaMgalanAM phaLothI huM paricita hatI. meM phaLo lIdhAM ane AzramamAM AvI. kuTiramAM jaIne meM phaLAhAra karyo. pANI pIdhuM ane vyAghacarma upara sUI gaI... jyAre huM jAgI tyAre cotho prahara zarU thaI gayo hato. huM UThI, AzramanA udyAnamAM gaI ane thoDAMka puSpa laIne bhagavAna RSabhadevanA maMdiramAM gaI. puSpo bhagavaMtanA caraNe padharAvI meM bhAvapUrvaka stavanA karI. stavanA pUrNa karIne meM maMdirane svaccha karyuM. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #133
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM maMdiranAM e pagathiyAM pAse AvIne huM UbhI rahI ke jyAM sarvaprathama che svAmInAtha! ApaNuM milana thayuM hatuM. huM mArA rAjarSi pitAnI pAchaLa UbhI hatI ane Apane joI rahI hatI. e kSaNo.. e divaso... badhuM smRtimAM UbharAvA mAMDyuM. khATI-mIThI smRtiomAM DUbI gaI. saMdhyA DhaLI gaI, huM mArI kuTiramAM pahoMcI gaI. have mAre tyAM ja rahevAnuM hatuM eTale e aMgenA vicAromAM DUbI gaI... tyAM mane eka mahattvano vicAra Avyo : A nirjana jaMgalamAM mArA zIlanI rakSA huM kevI rIte karIza? jaMgalanA lokone khabara paDe ke AzramamAM koI ekAkI strI AvIne rahI che, to kyAreka mArA zIlanI rakSAno prazna Ubho thAya....' huM vicAratI hatI tyAM mane pitAjInI eka vAta yAda AvI gaI. teoe mane eka auSadhi batAvIne kaheluM : "beTI, A auSadhine je strI potAnA kAnamAM rAkhe te strI puruSa banI jAya che! e auSadhine kAnamAMthI kADhI le eTale puruSamAMthI pAchI strI banI jAya che!' mane khUba AnaMda thayo. mArA aMgeaMge AnaMda relAyo. dharmadhyAna karatAM karatAM huM nidrAdhIna thaI. prabhAte UThIne, snAnAdithI paravArI, paramAtmAnI pUjA karI huM jaMgalamAM gaI. zodhatAM zodhatAM mane pelI auSadhi maLI AvI...! huM nAcI UThI. turta ja meM e auSadhi mArA kAnamAM mUkI dIdhI... huM strImAMthI puruSa banI gaI. auSadhionA prabhAvo to meM pitAjI pAse ghaNA sAMbhaLyA hatA, paNa tyAre meM pratyakSa anubhava karyo. huM nirbhaya banI gaI. have mArA zIlane koI bhaya na rahyo. muni kumAranA veSamAM meM tyAM divaso vitAvyA..... eka divasa rathamardana nagaranA yuvarAja pAchA e AzramamAM padhAryA! ane meM temane joyA. temaNe mane joyo.....! "eTale e RSikumAra tuM ja?' huM AzcaryathI Ubho thaI gayo. hA, svAmInAtha! e RSikumAra te huM ja!" zayanakhaMDanA dIpako bujhAI gayA hatA. ame nidrAdhIna thayAM. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #134
[21 du:kha, trAsa, vedanA ane AMsuothI labAlaba bharelo vRttAMta sAMbhaLIne mAruM haiyuM ghora vyathAthI bharAI gayuM.... paraMtu jyAre RSikumArano bheda khUlI gayo tyAre huM harSavibhora banI gayo. RSikumAranA rUpe RSidattA ja mArI sAthe hatI! mane RSikumAra tarapha kema atyaMta prema, Adara ane bahumAna hatuM, tenuM kAraNa mane samajAI gayuM. meM aneka vAra RSikumArane kahyuM paNa hatuM ke "tamAruM mukha RSidattAnA mukha jevuM ja che.... tamArI AMkho ane RSidattAnI AMkho ekasarakhI che! tamArI vANI ane RSidattAnI vANI mane sarakhI lAge che!' eka divasa meM RSidattAne kahyuM : "priye, mane lAge che ke e jaMgalamAM.... e AzramamAM tArI rakSA tArA svargastha pitA rAjarSie ja adRzya rahIne karI che! nahIMtara e nirjana pradezamAM ekAkI strIe rahevuM bhayabhareluM ja kahevAya. bhale jaDIbuTTIthI te puruSa banIne rahI, chatAM hRdaya to strInuM ja ne?' | RSidattAe kahyuM : "nAtha, kharekhara mane paNa ema ja lAgyuM hatuM ke mArI rakSA koI adRzya tattva karI raheluM hatuM. paramAtmA RSabhadevanA aciMtya prabhAvo meM pahelAM pitAjI pAsethI sAMbhaLelA paNa hatA. e paramAtmA pratye bAlyakALathI mane akhaMDa zraddhA che.' ame amArA zveta mahelanA jharUkhAmAM beThAM hatAM. saMdhyAno zata-zItala samaya hato. mahelanA jharUkhAmAMthI kSitija spaSTa dekhAtI hatI. mArI dRSTi tyAM maMDAyelI hatI. saMdhyAnA manohara raMgo jovAmAM huM lIna hato, tyAM RSidattAe mauna toDyuM. 'nAtha! Apane yAda che ne... RSikumAranA rUpe meM ApanI pAse varadAna mAgyuM hatuM? barAbara smRtimAM che! e mitre varadAna mAgeluM ane meM ApeluM mAgo, tamAre je joIe te!" Apazo? avazya Apazo?' RSidattAe potAnuM bhadrAsana mArI najIka sara kAvyuM. zuM tane zaMkA che?' For Private And Personal Use Only

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123 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM nA re, mane ApanA vacanamAM kyAreya zaMkA na thAya.' "to niHzaMkapaNe mAgo.' 'nAtha, Apa jevo prema mArA pratye rAkho cho tevo ja prema rukmiNI pratye rAkho! basa, mane ATaluM varadAna ApI do!' huM to stabdha thaI gayo. animeSa nayane RSidattAne joI rahyo. "RSie A zuM mAMgyuM?' huM samajI na zakyo. rukimaNI pratye prema? ane te paNa RSidattAnA jevo prema? meM RSidattAne kahyuM : RSi, tuM zuM bole che? "huM sabhAna avasthAmAM chuM, nAtha! Apano prema mArI e bahenane paNa maLavo joIe. jeTalo prema mane maLe che, eTalo ja prema ene paNa maLavo joIe." enA pratye mArA haiyAmAM bhArobhAra roSa che.... ene huM kevI rIte cAhI zakuM? enuM mukha paNa jovA huM rAjI nathI." e roSane kADhI nAkho, nAtha! Apa to karuNAvaMta cho. enI bhUlane bhUlI jAo... ene kSamA karI do...' paraMtu eNe kevo bhayaMkara aparAdha karyo che e tuM jANe che ne? Avo ghAtakI ane krUra vartAva karanArIne huM kSamA ApuM? RSi, mArAthI e zakya nathI." "kaMI ja azakya nathI, svAmInAtha! Apa enA aparAdhanuM vAstavika kAraNa vicAro to Apano roSa UtarI jaze. mArA pitAjI kahetA hatA ke dareka jIvAtmA potAnA puNyakarmanA udayathI sAruM kAma kare che, potAnA pApakarmanA udayathI khoTuM kAma kare che. rukmiNInA pApakarmano udaya jAgyo haze mATe ja teNe khoTuM kAma karyuM.. enAM pApakarme enI pAse khoTuM kAma karAvyuM che.... emAM jIvAtmAno zo doSa?" paraMtu RSi, tuM vicAra kara ke tArA pratye ene kevI ghora IrSyA che? tane mArI pAsethI dUra karavA eNe kevuM paDyuMtra racyuM? tane motanA kUvAmAM dhakelI dIdhI.. e to tAro ane mAro puNyodaya ke tuM bacI gaI.. nahIMtara...?' 'bhale ene mArA pratye IrSyA hoya.... IrSyA to amArI strI-jAtamAM sahaja hoya che, chatAM have ene mArA pratye IrSyA nahIM rahe... tamAro prema e cAhe che. tamAro prema ene maLaze eTale IrSyA nahIM rahe..' For Private And Personal Use Only

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124. pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM tuM dhAre che eTalI e saraLa nahIM hoya, ema mane lAge che. ene potAnI bhUla ja samajAI nathI.' "have samajAI gaI haze! huM jIvaMta rahI gaI chuM, e jANyA pachI enA pastAvAno pAra nahIM hoya, sulasA jogaNAne je sajA thaI, ethI paNa ene sAcI samajaNa AvI haze ja. mANasa jyAre khoTuM pagaluM bharIne niSphaLa jAya che tyAre ene potAnA khoTA pagalAnuM bhAna thAya che. pharIthI evuM khoTuM pagaluM nahIM bharavAno manomana nirNaya kare che. rukmiNInI mAnasika sthiti AvI hovI joIe." mane to enI mAnasika sthiti judI samajAya che. tulasA jogaNane je sajA thaI che, ethI saMbhava che ke e mArA para roSe bharAI hoya. kAraNa ke meM ja mahArAjAne e payaMtrano paricaya Apyo hato." paraMtu jo enA manamAM ApanA pratye roSa na hoya, ene jo potAnI bhUlano pazcAttApa thato hoya ane ApanA premane cAhatI hoya... to, to Apa ene prema Apazo ne?' RSi! tuM guNavAna che, eTale duniyA tane guNavAna dekhAya che.... tAruM hRdaya komaLa che, mRdu che eTale tuM bIjAnA du:khano vicAra kare che.... bIjAnuM duHkha dUra karavA prayatna kare che... paraMtu te mAne che evI A duniyA nathI! badhA jIvo karuNAnA pAtra nathI hotA." bhale badhA na hoya karuNApAtra, rukmiNI to kaNApAtra che ja! karuNApAtra ja nahIM, premapAtra che! Apa eka vAra enA aparAdhanI kSamA ApI do... basa, pachI ApanA hRdayamAM enA pratye paNa premanI saravANI phUTaze!' eNe kyAM mArI pAse kSamA mAgI che? eNe to enA parAkramanI bahAdurI gAI che!" e vAta purANI thaI gaI. roSamAM, rIsamAM, IrSyAmAM mAnavI na bolavAnuM bolI jAya che. sujJa puruSo e zabdo yAda nathI rAkhatA, bhUlI jAya che. e bolI hatI roSamAM! mArA pratyenI IrSyAthI! have enA haiye roSa nahIM hoya. have mArA tarapha paNa ene ImprabhAva nahIM hoya." to tuM ene maLa.... enA manobhAvane jANa... pachI tArI icchA mujaba huM karIza.. basa? prasanna?' khUba ja prasanna thaI, nAtha! ApanI udAratA gajaba che... huM kAle ja enI For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 125 pAse jaIza ane enA manobhAva jANIza.. enA saMtapta hRdayane AzvAsana ApIza... enA azAMta manane samAdhi ApIza...." huM RSidattAnA saraLa, snehALa, udAra ane gaMbhIra vyaktitvane manomana abhinaMdI rahyo. potAnA prANa levAno hIcakAro prayatna karanAra pratye paNa kevI karuNAdRSTi! badalo levAnI koI duSTa manovRtti nahIM.. potAne duHkha ApanArA pratye koI dveSa nahIM, roSa nahIM, kinno nahIM! bIjA divase savAre ja prabhAtika kRtyothI paravArI, RSidattA rathamAM besIne mahArAjA surasuMdaranA mahele gaI. te madhyAhna samaye pAchI AvI. enA mukha para malakATa hato. enA haiye harSa hato... paraMtu AvIne paheluM kAma eNe mane bhojana karAvavAnuM karyuM. mane bhojana karAvIne eNe bhojana karyuM ane mane zayanagRhamAM ArAma karavAnuM kahI e cAlI gaI. be ghaDI meM ArAma karyo.... tyAM e AvI gaI. mArA palaMga pAse paDelA bhadrAsana para besIne teNe kahyuM : nAtha, mAruM kArya saraLa banyuM che. mArI dhAraNAo sAcI paDI che. huM rAjAnA mahelamAM pahoMcI. mane ekalIne AvelI joI mahArANIne Azcarya thayuM, paraMtu turta ja meM kahyuM : "mAtAjI, mAre rukmiNIne maLavuM che!" mArI vAta sAMbhaLIne mahArANIne vadhu Azcarya thayuM. teo thoDI kSaNa mArI sAme joI rahyAM.... temanI AMkho sajala banI.... meM teonA hAtha pakaDIne kahyuM : mAtAjI, badhuM sAruM thaze... Apa mane rukimaNI pAse laI cAlo." mahArANInI sAthe huM rukmiNInA zayanakhaMDamAM pahoMcI. mahArANIe zayanakhaMDamAM jaIne palaMgamAM sUtelI rukmiNIne kahyuM : "beTI, jo to, tane maLavA koNa AvyuM che?' raDI raDIne rukmiNInI AMkho sUjI gaI hatI. enAM vastro coLAI gayelAM hatAM. enA aMga para ekeya AbhUSaNa na hatuM. enuM mukha karamAI gayuM hatuM. gAla para sukAyelAM AMsunA lisoTA hatA. huM palaMga pAse pahoMcI gaI hatI. te mane joI rahI. te mane pahelI ja vAra jotI hatI. huM paNa ene pahelI ja vAra jotI hatI! e mane oLakhI na zakI.... eTale mahArANI bolyAM : beTI, A RSidattA che!" huM? devI RSidattA tame ja ?' te palaMga parathI nIce UtarI gaI.... ane mArA pagamAM paDI gaI.... meM ene mArA bAhupAzamAM laI lIdhI. tenI AMkhomAMthI For Private And Personal Use Only

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127 pAMpaNe bAMdhyu pANiyAruM codhAra AMsu sarI paDyAM.... mahArANI paNa raDI paDyAM.... potAnI sADInA pAlavathI AMsu lUchatAM mahArANI zayanakhaMDanI bahAra jaIne UbhAM rahyAM. meM rukmiNIne palaMga para besADI. huM enI pAse besI gaI. meM kahyuM : 'bahena, raDa nahIM. mANasanA jIvanamAM bhUla thaI javI svAbhAvika che. kAraNa ke anaMta janmomAM jIva anaMta anaMta karma bAMdhato Avyo che. karmaparavaza jIva nAnI moTI bhUlo karato hoya che....' 'nA.... nA, meM bhayaMkara aparAdha karyo che.... huM hatyArI chuM.... huM rAkSasI chuM.... huM mahApApI chuM... devI, mane kSamA karazo?' ane dhrusake raDatI e mArA khoLAmAM DhaLI paDI. meM enA mastake, enI pITha para hAtha pheravI... enI pratye sahAnubhUti vyakta karI. thoDI vAra ene raDavA dIdhI. pachI jyAre enuM haiyuM kaMIka haLavuM thayuM, tyAre pANIthI ene moDhuM dhoI nAMkhavA kahyuM. pANI pivaDAvyuM ane kahyuM : 'rukmiNI, kahe, have tuM zuM cAhe che!' 'devI, huM ApanI kSamA cAhuM chuM.... paraMtu kharekhara to kSamA ApaNA svAmInAthanI mAgavI joIe....' 'huM temane mAruM kALuM moM dekhADavA nathI mAgatI.... kyAM e uttama puruSa ane kyAM huM adhamAdhama' be pagamAM moM chupAvIne te raDI paDI. enI pITha paMpALatI huM bolI : 'rukmiNI, teo to ghaNA udAra ane gaMbhIra mahApuruSa che. tuM cAla mArI sAthe, teonAM caraNe tAruM sarvasva samarpaNa karI de.... teo jarUra tane kSamA Apaze.... kSamA ja nahIM, hRdayano prema Apaze!' 'nA, nA, huM temanA premane pAtra nathI.... kupAtra chuM.... IrSyAnI sAkSAt mUrti chuM.... aspRzya chuM.... e guNamUrtinA caraNone sparza paNa karavAlAyaka nathI... tame devI, kahejo ke teonuM nAma yAda karatI huM jIvana pUruM karIza....' 'evo saMkoca na rAkha rukmiNI, cAla, UbhI thA, vastra badalI le, zaNagAra sajI le. huM tane mArI sAthe ja laI javA AvI chuM.' meM rukmiNInuM mukha UMcuM karI tenI dRSTimAM mArI dRSTi meLavIne tenI anumati mAgI. tenI AMkhomAM ArdratA hatI, vivazatA hatI, vedanA hatI. meM mahArANIne kahyuM : 'mAtAjI, rukmiNInAM lagna samayanAM vastro lAvo, enA alaMkAro lAvo.... Aje huM ja ene zaNagArIza....' For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 127 mahArANInI AMkho harSanAM AMsuthI UbharAI. haiyuM gadgad thaI gayuM.... teo bolyAM... "RSidattA.... sAce ja tuM mahAdevI ... ane teo jhaDapathI cAlyAM gayAM. thoDI ja vAramAM rukimaNInAM vastro ane alaMkAro laIne AvI gayAM. temanI pAchaLa mahArAjA surasuMdara paNa AvI gayA... teone meM dUrathI namaskAra karyA. teoe AzIrvAda ApyA ane kahyuM : "beTI, rukimaNIne huM tArA khoLe soMpuM chuM.. have tuM ja enI mAtA ane tuM ja enI bahena.... mArI mera jevaDI ciMtAne te dUra karI.... tAro upakAra..." bolatAM bolatAM mahArAjA raDI paDyA.... meM kahyuM : "pitAjI, mahArAja kumAra uttama puruSa che, udAra hRdayanA che. teonA manamAM rukmiNI pratye koI roSa nathI. amane baMnene teo samAna dRSTithI joze.' rukmiNIe vastraparivartana karI lIdhuM. meM ene alaMkArothI zaNagArI. AkhA rAjamahelamAM AnaMdotsava maMDAI gayo. huM rukmiNIne rathamAM besADIne mArI sAthe ahIM laI AvI!" eTale zuM tuM ene ahIM lAvI che?" hA, mArA svAmInAtha!" ane RSidanA jhaDapathI bahAra nIkaLI gaI.... bAju nA khaMDamAMthI rukmiNIne laI te mArA khaMDamAM AvI. rukmiNI mArA caraNomAM DhaLI paDI.... meM ene UbhI karI ane kahyuM : rukmiNI, have raDa nahIM. mane tArA pratye koI roSa nathI. badho ja roSa A tArI bahene bahAra pheMkAvI dIdho che.... tArA pratye prema karavAnuM varadAna eNe mArI pAse mAgI lIdhuM che!' miNIe kRtajJatAbharI AMkhe RSidanA sAme joyuM... RSidattA nIcI dRSTi karIne dhIre dhIre zayanakhaMDamAMthI bahAra cAlI gaI. rukmiNI mArA paga pAse besI gaI. teNe kahyuM : nAtha, huM mahApApI chuM. meM bhayaMkara aparAdha karyo che.... IrSAnI sAkSAt mUrti chuM... jyAre mahAdevI RSidattA mahAsatI che... kSamAnI devI che.... udAratAno sAgara che.. asaMkhya guNono bhaMDAra che... huM emanA caraNonI raja paNa thavA lAyaka nathI....' | 'tArI vAta satya che, rukmiNI, mArA haiyAmAM enA pratye jeTalo prema che, eTalo ja prema tane ApavAnuM varadAna mAgI.... eNe kevo uccatam tyAga karyo che! kevuM bhavya satkArya karyuM che! mAruM to have e sarvasva che... nAtha!" rukmiNI gadgad thaI gaI. For Private And Personal Use Only

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22 Acharya Shri Kailassagarsuri Gyanmandir RSidattAnA niSkapaTa ane snehALa svabhAvathI ane vartAvathI rukmiNIno saMrkoca thoDA ja divasomAM dUra thaI gayo. have te mArI sAthe paNa niHsaMkoca vyavahAra karavA lAgI. meM paNa kyAreya enI bhUtakALanI bhUla yAda karAvI nahIM. meM mArA mananuM samAdhAna karI lIdhuM hatuM. koInI paNa bhUlano manamAM saMgraha karI rAkhavAthI mana ukaraDA jevuM gaMduM banI jAya che. avAranavAra RSidattA mane rukmiNInA guNo batAvatI hatI. mAruM dhyAna enA guNo tarapha AkarSIne 'rukmiNImAM ghaNA guNo che', A vAta mArA manamAM e dRDha karatI hatI, RSidattAnI A pavitra udAtta bhAvanA hatI ke huM kyAreya rukmiNIno tiraskAra na karuM. rukmiNI tarapha aNagamo na rAkhuM.... ane mArA rukmiNI taraphanA sadvyavahA2ne joIne e prasanna thatI hatI. rukmiNIe mane kahyuM : 'kharekhara, RSidattA asAdhAraNa guNasaMpatti dharAvanArI sannArI che.... jevuM enuM bAhya AkarSaka rUpa che, tevuM ja enuM AMtarika bhavya vyaktitva che... ajJAnadazAmAM meM enA tarapha kevo ghora aparAdha karyo? kevAM cIkaNAM karmo bAMdhyAM?' meM rukmiNIne AzvAsana ApatAM kahyuM : 'sarva jIvo karmavaza che. karmavaza jIva bhUla karI bese che. have e duHkhadAyI bhUtakALa yAda na karIza. teM tArI bhUlano khUba khUba pazcAttApa karI lIdho che. have jIva na bALIza. have to tame baMne paraspara khUba premathI raho, barAbara e ja che.' rukmiNIe kahyuM : 'nAtha, ApanI vAta sarvathA ucita che; paraMtu mArA jIvanamAM thayelI bhUla bhUlI zakAya evI nathI.... meM bAMdhelAM pApakarma to mAre bhogavavAM ja paDaze.... tIvra rAga-dveSathI bAMdhelAM karmo bhogavyA vinA chUTatAM nathI...' 'tArI vAta sAcI che, paraMtu have 'tuM na zodhyuM' - zoka karavo ucita nathI. tapazcaryA dvArA e karmabaMdhane haLavo karI devo, e ja ucita che.' meM rukmiNInA hRdayane haLavuM karavAno prayatna karyo. RSidattA to haMmezAM snehapUrNa vyavahArathI enuM hRdaya praphullita rAkhatI ja hatI. ame keTalAka For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 129 divaso kAverImAM vyatIta karyA. eka divasa RSidattAe mane kahyuM : "nAtha, have ApaNe rathamardana nagara jaIe to? tyAM mAtAjI ApanI ciMtA karatAM haze." ane mArI kalpanAsRSTimAM mArI snehALa mAtA mane dekhAI. meM RSidattA sAme joyuM. e mArA uttaranI apekSA rAkhatI mArI sAme joI rahI hatI. meM kahyuM: "ApaNe kAle ja ahIMthI prayANa karI daIe. huM Aje mahArAjA surasuMdarane vAta karuM chuM.' bhojanAdithI paravArI huM rathamAM besI mahArAjAnA mahele UpaDyo. mahArAjAe snehathI mAruM svAgata karI kuzaLatA pUchI. meM kahyuM : "mahArAjA, ahIM kAverImAM huM ghaNA divaso rokAyo. have rathamardana javuM joIe. tyAM pitAjI mArI pratIkSA karatA haze. thoDIka ciMtA paNa karatA haze..." mahArAjAnA mukha para glAni tarI AvI. temaNe kahyuM : "kumAra, huM jANuM chuM ke tame ahIM kAyama nathI rahevAnA.... ahIM jeTaluM vadhu rokAo, teTalo mane..... mArA manane vadhu AnaMda rahe. paraMtu... tamArI vAta sAcI che. mahArAjA tamArI pratIkSA karatA ja haze....' ame AvatI kAle prabhAte ahIMthI prayANa karavA icchIe chIe." "kAle ?' hA jI, kAle ja prayANa karIne jaladIthI jaladI rathamadana pahoMcI javAnI bhAvanA che." mahArAjAe paricArikAne mokalIne mahArANIne bolAvyAM ane amArA nirNayanI jANa karI. mahArANInI AMkho AMsuthI bharAI gaI. teo kAMI bolI na zakyAM..... sADInA pAlavathI AMsu lUchI emaNe mArI sAme joyuM. khUba ja gaLagaLA svare temaNe kahyuM : "kumAra, tamAruM hRdaya vizALa che, udAra che." tame kimaNInA aparAdhane bhUlI jaI ene kSamA ApI, ene sneha Apyo.... tamAro upakAra ame kyAreya nahIM bhUlIe....' mahArAjA surasuMdara raDI paDyA. mArI AMkho paNa bhInI thaI gaI. meM kahyuM : 'have tame rukmiNInI ciMtA na karazo. mArA hRdayamAM enA pratye sneha ane sadUbhAva che. enuM hRdaya paNa have nirmaLa ane premALa banI gayuM che. RSidattA pratye enA hRdayamAM apAra sneha UbharAyo che." 'RSidattA to RSidattA ja che, kumAra! eNe ja to rukimaNInA jIvanane du:khanA dAvAnaLamAMthI ugArI lIdhuM. For Private And Personal Use Only

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130 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM kumAra, amArI to tamane eka ja vinaMtI che ke amane kyAreka yAda karajo. kAverI padhArajo.....' mahArAjAe ratha mokalIne RSidattA ane kmiNIne rAjamahelamAM bolAvI lIdhAM hatAM. amAro vArtAlApa cAlato hato. tyAM e baMnee amArA khaMDamAM praveza karyo. dUrathI amane traNeyane praNAma karI eka bAju besI gaI. rukmiNIne uddezIne mahArAjAe kahyuM : "rukmiNI, have tuM amane choDIne tArA ghera jaIza. rathamardana nagaramAM jaIza..... beTI, tyAM tuM tArAM guNonI suvAsa prasAraje. tane janma ApanArAM mAtA-pitAnI kIrti vadhAraje. patine paramAtmAtulya mAnaje, zIlane prANathI paNa adhika mAnaje. RSidattAne tArI parama upakAriNI moTI bahena mAnaje. vaDIlono vinaya na cUkIza. tArAM ucita kartavyonuM suMdara pAlana karaje... vizeSa to tane zuM kahuM? tArA viyoganuM duHkha." mahArAjA raDI paDyA. rukmiNI paNa codhAra AMsue raDI paDI. RSidattA rukmiNIne potAnA utkaMgamAM laI zAMta karavA prayatna karavA lAgI. gadgad svare mahArAjAe RSidattAne kahyuM : "beTI RSidattA, sAcosAca tuM RSinI-rAjarSinI kanyA che... tArA guNo, tArI karuNA, tAruM nirmaLa jIvana.... kharekhara abhuta che.. tAruM hRdaya kevuM premALa ane udAra che! rukmiNIne kSamA ApIne to teM amArA sahu upara upakAra karyo che.... tArA upakAranA bhAra nIce dabAyelAM ame kyAre e upakArano badalo cUkavI zakIzuM? beTI, have rukmiNIne tuM saMbhALaje. haju enAmAM nAdAniyata che. kyAreka e bhUla karI bese, kyAreka anucita AcaraNa karI nAMkhe.... to kSamA karaje.... ene tArI sAthe ja dharmArAdhanAmAM rAkhaje... tane kaMI ja kahevApaNuM nathI.... chatAM pitRhRdaya che ne! e pitRhRdaya A bolAve che..... dIkarI, kyAreka amane yAda karaje. kyAreka kAverI Avaje... A rAjamahela... A rAjA-rANI... A badhuM tAruM.... pitRgRha samajaje." RSidattAe jamIna para dRSTi sthira karI kahyuM : "he pitAjI, Apa mArI prazaMsA karI mane zaramAvo nahIM. mArAmAM evI koI ja vizeSatA nathI. bhUla to dareka saMsArInI thatI hoya che.. rukmiNI mArI suzIla ane kuzaLa nAnI bahena che. thoDA divasonA paricayamAM meM enAmAM ghaNA guNo joyA che. e puNyazAlinI che. Apa enI jarAya ciMtA nA karazo. For Private And Personal Use Only

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pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 131 'Ape ane mAtAjIe mane je sneha Apyo che, te huM kyAreya nahIM bhUlI zakuM. sadaiva ApanA AzIrvAda rahe, e ja mArA aMtaranI kAmanA che. mArAthI Apano je koI avinaya thayo hoya, Apa mane kSamA Apazo....' RSidattAnA gaLe DUmo bharAyo, te AgaLa bolI na zakI. meM mahArAjAne kahyuM : 'mahArAjA, mArA nimitte Apane khUba ciMtA thaI che. Apa udAra hRdayanA cho, mane kSamA Apazo. ApanI zubhakAmanAo laIne ame ahIMthI jaIzuM.' bhojanano samaya thaI gayo hato. ame sahu bhojana mATe UThyAM. bhojanAdithI nivRtta thaI, RSidattA ane rukmiNInI sAthe huM mArA mahele Avyo. AkhA nagaramAM amArA rathamardana nagara javAnA samAcAra prasarI gayA. nagaranA zreSThIo mane maLavA mATe AvavA lAgyA. emanI sAthe vAto karavAmAM baporano samaya pasAra thaI gayo. RSidattA ane rukmiNI paNa aneka strIothI gherAIne beThI hatI. huM thoDI vAra ArAma karavA mArA zayanakhaMDamAM gayo. palaMga para ADo paco.... AMkho baMdha karI.... tyAM manamAM rathamardana nagaranA vicAro AvavA lAgyAM. mAtA ane pitAnA vicAro AvavA lAgyA. RSidattAne joIne pitAjI vagere kevA stabdha thaI jaze! e vicAre mane romAMcita karI dIdho. jyAre teo satya hakIkata jANaze tyAre...!!! paraMtu tyAM huM gahana vicAramAM paDI gayo. satya hakIkatamAM rukmiNI saMDovAyelI hatI.... jo e vAta mAtA-pitA jANe to rukmiNI tarapha teo aruciudvegavALAM banI jAya! rukmiNIne tuccha dRSTithI jue.... to rukmiNInA mana upara gherA pratyAghAto paDe.... enAmAM udvega ane udAsInatA bharAI jAya.... enuM jIvana khAruM khAruM thaI jAya.... nA, nA, e vAta khullI karavAnI ja nahIM. A vAtamAM rukmiNIne lAvavAnI ja nahIM. mArA manamAM rukmiNI pratye sahAnubhUti pragaTI. rathamardana nagaramAM, rAjamahelamAM.... koInA paNa hRdayamAM rukmiNI pratye aruci na janme, evuM ja vAtAvaraNa rahevuM joIe. enA jIvanamAM thaI gayelI bhUla koInAya khyAlamAM na AvavI joIe.... rukmiNInA hRdayamAM mArA pratye ane RSidattA pratye pUrNa vizvAsa che.... e vizvAsa sAthe amArI sAthe AvI rahI che. huM paNa kyAreya enI bhUla yAda nahIM karAvuM, enA hRdayamAM duHkha thAya evuM For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #144
132 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM huM nahIM karuM.... mArA taraphathI e mAtra sneha ane premanI ja icchA rAkhe, e svAbhAvika che. huM A vicAromAM DUbelo hato, tyAM zayanakhaMDamAM RSidattA AvI pahoMcI. saMdhyAnA bhojanano samaya thaI gayo hato. e bhojana mATe bolAvavA AvI hatI. huM enI sAthe bhojana karavA gayo. mArI mukhAkRti joIne ene khyAla AvI gayo ke huM koI gaMbhIra vicAromAM DUbelo chuM, paNa eNe mane kAMI pUchyuM nahIM. bhojana pachI rukmiNI enAM mAtA-pitAne maLavA rAjamahele gaI. huM mahelanA jharUkhAmAM jaIne beTho, Avazyaka kAryothI paravArIne RSidattA mArI pAse AvIne beThI. meM maunapaNe enI sAme joyuM. eNe arthapUrNa dRSTithI mArI sAme joyuM. be paLa mauna chavAyuM. RSidattAe kahyuM : 'nAtha, mAre eka mahattvanI vAta kahevI che.' 'kahe!' 'mane nirdoSa siddha karavA jatAM rukmiNI doSita jAhera na thaI jAya, enI ApaNe pUrI sAvadhAnI rAkhavI joIe.' 'taddana satya vAta che tArI. mArA manamAM paNa e ja vAta rame che, Aje sAMje mArA manamAM A ja vicAro cAlatA hatA.' 'Apa koI gaMbhIra vicAramAM cho, ema to mane sAMje ja lAgeluM.' 'e gaMbhIra vicAra A ja hato ke rukmiNInI bhUla thamardana nagaramAM jAhera karavAnI bhUla ApaNI na thaI jAya! alabatta, tane jIvaMta joIne mAtAjI, pitAjI ane samagra naga2 AzcaryamAM garakAva thaI javAnuM che! tuM surakSita che, jIvaMta che.... e ja tArI nirdoSatAne siddha karavA mATe zuM paryApta muddo nathI?' 'sulasA yoginInI vAta karI zakAya, nahIM?' 'karI zakAya, paNa ene preraNA ApanAra rukmiNI hatI, e vAta na nIkaLavI joIe.... mAtra yoginIno ja nirdeza karIe to prazna thAya ne ke yoginIne evuM adhama kRtya karavAnI zI jarUra hatI? RSidattA tarapha ene zatrutA zAthI hatI?' RSidattA vicAramAM paDI gaI. thoDI kSaNo vicAramAM pasAra thaI gaI. teNe kahyuM : 'ema rajUAta thaI zake ke yoginI rukmiNInI sakhI hatI. jyAre For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #145
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 133 yoginIe jANyuM ke kumAra rastAmAMthI ja eka RSikanyAne paraNIne pAcho vaLI gayo che ane rukmiNIe e kumAra sivAya bIjA koI sAthe nahIM paraNavAno nirNaya karyo che. tyAre e yoginIe svayaM ja A paryaMtra racyuM. emAM ene saphaLatA maLI ema lAgyuM tyAre eNe kAverI jaIne rukmiNIne vAta karI! rukmiNIe yoginIne Thapako Apyo... vagere.." | 'lagna pachI A vAta rukmiNIe mane kahI. meM rukmiNInA pitAne kahI, emaNe yoginIne deza bahAra kADhI mUkI...." barAbara!' RSidattA rAjI rAjI thaI gaI. ane pitAjI jyAre A ghaTanA jANaze, tArI nirdoSatA siddha thaze tyAre kevA lajjA pAmaze?" "lajjA ja nahIM, teone pArAvAra pazcAttApa thaze. hRdayamAM ghora vedanA anubhavaze.... emanI AMkho AMsuothI chalakAI jaze." bolatAM bolatAM RSidattAnI AMkho bhInI thaI gaI. meM kahyuM : "paNa eka sAvadhAnI rAkhavAnI che! jayAre pitAjI potAnI bhUlane yAda karIne kalpAMta kare, tyAre rukimaNI svayaM potAnI bhUla kabUlI na le! bhAvukatAmAM kyAreka AvI bhUla thaI jatI hoya che... acAnaka e bolI UThe ke "nA nA... pitAjI, ApanI bhUla nathI, bhUla to mArI che.... meM yoginI dvArA paryaMtra - racAvyuM hatuM...." sAcI vAta che ApanI, rukmiNIne huM samajAvI daIza." "tArA aMge haju koI samAcAra pitAjIne jaNAvyA nathI. teo badhA to A badhI paristhitithI sAva ajANa che.. tane joIne temane khUba vismaya thaze." thavA devuM joIe vismaya. hamaNAM ApaNe kaMI ja jaNAvavuM nathI." amArI vAto cAlatI hatI, tyAM rumiNI rAjamahelathI AvI gaI hatI. te AvIne RSidattAnI paDakhe besI gaI. RSidattAe kahyuM : rukmiNI, tuM to rathamadana nagarane pahelI ja vAra joIza kharuM ne?' "e to kharuM, paraMtu e pahelAM to ApanA Azramane joIza! je AzramamAM Apano janma thayo, Apa moTAM thayAM..... ane chelle je Azrame ApanI rakSA karI! e AzramanI mATI mAthe caDhAvIza.." For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #146
134 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM e AzramamAM bhagavAna RSabhadevanuM jinAlaya joIne tuM khuza thaI jaIza." ane jyAre tuM mArI mAtAne joIza.... eno prema.... enuM vAtsalya meLavIza tyAre to dhanya banI jaIza! RSidattAne eno anubhava che...." pachI to RSidattAe mArI mAtAno evo paricaya Apyo ke rukmiNI gadgad thaI gaI. vAtomAM rAta vItI gaI hatI. savAre ja amAre prasthAna karavAnuM hatuM. thoDI taiyArIo karavAnI bAkI hatI. ame tyAMthI UThyAM ane amArAM kAryomAM gUMthAI gayAM. kAverI ane rathamardana nagaranI khATI-mIThI smRtio vAgoLato vAgoLato huM nidrAdhIna thaI gayo. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #147
23 rAjaparivAranI ane nagarajanonI azrubhInI hArdika vidAya laIne ame rathamardana nagara tarapha prayANa karI dIdhuM. je mArge ame AvyAM hatAM, e ja mArge pAchA javAnuM nakkI karyuM hatuM, kAraNa ke rukmiNIne RSidattAno Azrama jovAnI tAlAvelI hatI. RSidattAne enA pitA rAjarSinA stUpanAM darzana karavAnI bhAvanA hatI ane mArI icchA paramAtmA RSabhadevanAM darzana-pUjananI hatI. Azrama AvatAM ame tyAM paDAva nAMkhyo. rukimaNIne laI RSidattA maMdiranAM pagathiyAM caDhI gaI. huM emanI pAchaLa ja hato. bhagavAna SabhadevanAM darzanastavana karatAM mArAM romaroma vikasvara thaI gayAM. ame traNeyae khUba bhAvabharI stavanA karI. tyAMthI ame sva. rAjarSinA stUpa pAse gayAM. RSidattAnuM hasatuM mukha gaMbhIra banI gayuM. enI caMcaLa AMkho sthira banI gaI.... sthira AMkho bhInI thaI gaI... ane te paMcAMga praNipAta karatI jamIna para besI gaI. meM ane rukimaNIe paNa praNipAta karI, rAjarSine zraddhAMjali ApI. meM RSidattAne be hAthe pakaDIne UbhI karI.... RSidattA to raDI rahI hatI. meM mArA uttarIya vastrathI enI AMkho lUchI. amiNInI AMkho paNa bhInI thaI gaI hatI. teNe RSidattAno hAtha pakaDI lIdho hato. ame tyAMthI e jhUMpaDImAM gayAM ke jyAM rAjarSino nivAsa hato ane tyAra pachI munimAranA rUpe RSidattAe nivAsa karyo hato, tyAM ame traNeya beThAM. rukimaNIe RSidanAne kahyuM : "ahIM eka divasa rokAI jaIe to?' RSidattAe mArI sAme joyuM. meM svIkRtisUcaka smita karyuM. rukmiNI rAjI-rAjI thaI gaI. ApaNe A kuTiramAM ja rokAIzuM!' ema kahIne teNe kuTira sApha karavA mAMDI. RSidattAe paricArikAne bolAvIne bhojanAdinI jarUrI sUcanA ApI dIdhI. senApatine eka divasa rokAvAno nirdeza Apyo. be ghaDImAM to kuTirane rukimaNIe paricArikAo dvArA suMdara rIte sajAvI dIdhI. maMdiramAM ghInA dIpako pragaTAvyA. rAjarSinI samAdhi upara paNa dIpako For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #148
136 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM jhagamagI UThyAM... saMdhyA pUrve bhojanAdithI nivRtta thaIne ame traNeya AzramanA udyAnamAM pharavA nIkaLI gayA. RSidattAe peluM sarovara paNa rukimaNIne batAvyuM ke jyAM sarvaprathama eNe mane joyo hato. AzramanA AsapAsanA pradezamAM pharIne ame jinamaMdire pahoMcyAM. AratIno samaya thaI gayo hato. ame prabhubhaktimAM tallIna banIne AratI utArI. kuTiramAM AvIne ame beThAM. RSidattAe rukmiNIne potAnAM bAlyakALanAM aneka madhura saMsmaraNo saMbhaLAvyAM. e baMneno eka bAju vArtAlApa cAlato hato, bIjI bAju huM mArA jIvananI AdhyAtmika mulavaNI karI rahyo hato. rAtrino eka prahara vyatIta thaI gayo hato. ame sUvAnI taiyArI karI. bIje divase savAre ame tyAMthI prayANa karI dIdhuM. have mArgamAM mAtra eka ja visAmo karavAno hato, pachI rathamardana pahoMcI javAnuM hatuM. Azrame pahoMcyA pachI turta ja meM be ghoDesavArone rathamadana nagare mokalIne pitAjIne saMdezo mokalI dIdho hato. jyAre ame nagaranI pAse pahoMcyAM tyAre dUrathI dekhAyuM ke nagaranI bahAra moTo mAnavamaherAmaNa umaTyo che! rathanI gati tIvra thaI. alpa samayamAM ja rathamadana nagaranA bAhya pradezamAM ame pahoMcI gayAM. pitAjI svayaM sAme padhAryA hatA. meM dUrathI pitAjIne joyA. huM rathamAMthI nIce UtarI gayo. mArI pAchaLa RSidattA ane rukmiNI paNa nIce UtarI gayAM. meM pitAjInA caraNomAM namaskAra karyA. RSidattA ane rukmiNIe dUrathI ja pitAjIne praNAma karyA ane UbhI rahI. hajAro nagaravAsIo utsavaghelAM banI gayAM hatAM. pitAjInI sAthe huM pitAjInA rathamAM beTho. mArA rathamAM RSidattA ane rukmiNI beThAM. svAgatayAtrA zarU thaI... rathamardananA rAjamArgo para pharIne rAjamahele e yAtrA pUrI thaI. rAjamahelanA jharUkhAmAM pahoMcI meM sahu nagaravAsIonuM abhivAdana karyuM. * nagaravAsIo prasannacitte vIkharAyAM. huM tyAMthI nIkaLIne, RSidattA tathA rukmiNIne laIne mAtAjInI pAse pahoMcyo. caraNomAM mastaka mUkIne meM vaMdanA karI. tyArabAda RSidattAe mAtAnA caraNomAM vaMdanA karatAM kahyuM : mAtAjI, huM RSidattA ApanA caraNe vaMdanA karuM chuM..." mAtAjI, huM rukmiNI ApanA caraNe vaMdanA karuM chuM....." For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #149
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 137 mahArANI kSaNabhara stabdha thaI gayAM... baMne putravadhUone joI ja rahyAM... RSidattAne joIne temane potAnI AMkho para vizvAsa nathI paDato! mAtAe mArI sAme joyuM. meM kahyuM : "mA, A baMne tArI putravadhUo che! "paNa, A mArI RSidattA kyAMthI?' sajIvana thaI? ema pUche che ne?' mane kAMI samajAtuM nathI...beTA, RSine joIne mArA Azcaryano pAra nathI.." "mA tArA Azcaryano aMta AvI jaze, jyAre tuM pUro vRttAMta sAMbhaLIza!' ame pitAjIne vaMdanA karI AvIe; pachI vAta karuM chuM.. ame pitAjInA khaMDamAM pahoMcyAM. meM pitAjInA caraNomAM praNAma karyA. RSidattA ane rukimaNIe paNa praNAma karyA. pitAjIe mane temanI pAse besADI kuzaLatA pUchI... rukimaNInI sAme joyuM. pAse UbhelI RSidattAne joI.... teo kAMIka vicAramAM paDI gayA ane mArI sAme joI pUchyuM : kumAra, rukimaNInI sAthe A koNa che?' RSidattA!" ? e kevI rIte hoI zake? ene to....' pitAjI, gha rakSati rakSita:- je manuSya potAnA hRdayamAM dharmanI rakSA kare che, tenI rakSA dharma kare che! Apa e jallAdone bolAvIne pUcho ke emaNe RSidanAno vadha karyo hato? pachI huM badhI vAta karIza!' pitAjI vicAramAM garakAva thaI gayA. meM kahyuM : "pitAjI, RSidattA saMpUrNa nirdoSa che. enA upara koNe ane kevI rIte Aropa mUkyo, te vAta pachI Apane karuM chuM. ame paravArI laIe. bhojanAdithI nivRtta thayA pachI badhI vAta karIza. mArI mAtAne paNa badhI vAta jaNAvavI che...." bhale, tame sahu pahelAM snAnAdithI nivRtta thAo." huM, RSidarA ane rukmiNInI sAthe mArA khaMDamAM pahoMcyo ane dainika caryAmAM parovAyo. RSi ane rukmiNI mAtAnI pAse cAlyAM gayAM. rAjamahelamAM RSidattAnA AgamananI vAta phelAI gaI... sAthe sAthe nagaramAM paNa e vAta phelAvA lAgI. bhojanAdithI nivRtta thaI ame sahu pitAjInA khaMDamAM bhegAM thayAM. meM vAtano prAraMbha karyo. smazAnamAM RSidattAnuM mUcchita thaI javuM, jallAdonuM For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #150
138 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM mUcchita RSidattAne marelI samajIne cAlyA javuM. tyArathI mAMDIne badhI ja vAta meM karI. kAverImAM rukimaNI dvArA sulasA jogaNanA pathaMtranI jANakArI kevI rIte maLI. te vAta jyAre karI, tyAre pitAjInA zvAsa adhdhara thaI gayA... mA to RSidattAne potAnA khoLAmAM laI paMpALavA lAgI gaI. rukmiNI sADInA pAlavathI potAnI bhInI AMkho lUchavA lAgI. vAtAvaraNa ati karuNAbhInuM banI gayuM. pitAjInI AMkhomAMthI AMsu vahevA lAgyAM. teo gadgad svare bolyA : mAre hAthe ghora anyAya thaI gayo.... mahAsatI evI putravadhU para kALo kera vartAI gayo. kevuM ghora pApa kyuM? kevAM cIkaNAM pApakarmo meM bAMdhyAM?' pitAjI, dhrusake dhrusake raDI paDyA. meM teone zAMta karavA prayatna karyo ane kahyuM : pitAjI, RSidanAnuM ja koI pApakarma udayamAM AveluM, tethI ja enA para kilaMka AvyuM, Apa paNa zuM karo? have Apa zoka na karo. jene aMta sAro tenuM badhuM sAruM! RyidattA jIvaMta maLI gaI..... e ja puNyodaya - "beTA, tArI vAta sAcI che, paraMtu mArAM kukarmono mane ghora pazcAttApa thAya che.... meM mArI putravadhU upara kevo julama gujAryo? beTI RSidattA, mArA aparAdhanI tArI pAse kSamA mAguM chuM....' pitAjInA karuNa AkraMde amane sahune raDAvI dIdhAM. RSidattAe svastha banI kahyuM : "pitAjI, Ape kSamA mAgavAnI na hoya. Apa prajAvatsala cho. ApanA haiye prajAnuM hita vaseluM che... prajAjanonI hatyAthI ApanuM hRdaya akaLAya te svAbhAvika che. ane paristhiti tathA saMyogo ja evA UbhA thaI gayA hatA ke Apa mane sajA karo... Ape putrasnehanuM balidAna ApyuM ane prajAnI surakSA mATe pagaluM bharyuM... Apa nirdoSa cho...." RSidattAnI vAtathI pitAjIne thoDI zAMti maLI, paraMtu temanA haiyAnI vedanA to tevI ne tevI ja rahI. temaNe kahyuM : kumAra, nagarajanone RSidarAnI nirdoSatAno khyAla AvI javo joIe. mATe AvatI kAle rAjasabhAmAM huM sulasA jogaNanA payaMtranI vAta karIza, jAheramAM RSidattAnI kSamA mAgIza....' pitAjIe amane sahune javAnI anujJA ApI. mAtAnI sAthe ame sahu bahAra nIkaLyAM ane mAtAnA khaMDamAM pahoMcyAM. rukimaNIe mAtAnI AgaLa RSidatAnI peTabharI prazaMsA karavA mAMDI. RSidattAe kahyuM : "jo mArI prazaMsA For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #151
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 139 karavI hoya to huM cAlI jAuM!' tyAre rukmiNIe vAta baMdha karI. pachI to mAtA sAthe ghaNI vAto karI. mAnuM hRdaya praphullita thaI gayuM. bIjA divase bhavya rAjadarabAra bharAyo. nagaranA mahAjana uparAMta bIjA aneka pratiSThita sajjano rAjadarabAramAM AvyA hatA. sahunA mukha upara ullAsa hato, umaMga hato.... gaMbhIratA hatI mAtra pitAjInA mukha upara, rAjadarabAranI prAthamika vidhi pUrNa thayA pachI pitAjIe potAnuM vaktavya zarU karyuM. jyAre teoe RSidattAne kalaMkita karavA yojAyelA pAMtranI vAta karI tyAre sahunA mukha upara sulasA jogaNa para tiraskArano bhAva tarI Avyo.... jyAre teoe RSidattAnA bacI javAnI, jaDIbuTTIthI puruSarUpe badalAI javAnI ane chevaTe mArI sAthe kAverI sudhI javAnI.... vagere vAto karI.... rAjadarabAramAM AnaMdanuM mojuM UchaLavA mAMDyuM. RSidattAne laIne huM Avyo chuM, e vAta jAhera karatAM rAjasabhAmAM RSidattAno jayajayakAra thaI gayo. thoDI kSaNo maunamAM vItI .... punaH pitAjIe potAnuM vaktavya zarU karyuM : 'vaphAdAra maMtrImaMDaLa ane vahAlA nagarajano! tamane kadAca mAro nirNaya jANIne khUba du:kha thaze, paraMtu mArca e nirNaya jaNAvavo ja rahyo. mAruM mana A saMsArathI udvigna banI gayuM che. have huM tyAganA-saMyamanA mArge javA icchuM chuM. Ameya have rAjakumAra kanakaratha rAjA banavA yogya banI gayo che, mane vizvAsa che ke e rAjyanuM suMdara saMcAlana karaze ane prajAnuM sucAru pAlana karaze. have AtmakalyANa sAdhI levAnI mArI uMmara che, vRddhAvasthA AvI ja gaI che. jIvana caMcaLa che. indriyonI zakti kSINa thatI jAya che, haju jyAM sudhI deha ane indriyo sazakta che, tyAM sudhI cAritradharmanI ArAdhanA karI lauM.... pahelA zubha muhUrto huM 2AjakumArano rAjyAbhiSeka karIza, pachI huM cAritranA mArge prayANa karIza. pitAjIe rAjapurohitane rAjyAbhiSekano zubha divasa jovAnI AjJA paNa karI dIdhI. pitAjIe ekAeka.... acAnaka karelI saMsAratyAganI jAherAtathI huM DaghAI ja gayo. mArI mAtA rAjasabhAmAM hAjara na hatAM te sAruM thayuM. jo te hota to zuM thAta? e karuNa kalpAMta karata.... bebhAna banI jAta.... rAjasabhAnuM visarjana thayuM. loko vIkharAI gayA. huM pitAjInI sAthe ja For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #152
140 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM rAjamahelamAM Avyo. pitAjI sIdhA ja mArI mAtAnI pAse gayA. huM mArA nivAsamAM pahoMcyo. tyAM RSidattA ane rukmiNI mArI rAha jotAM hatAM. meM jaIne rAjasabhAmAM banelI badhI vAto kahI saMbhaLAvI. jyAre meM teone pitAjInI saMsAratyAganI vAta kahI tyAre baMne ceMkI UThI. "zuM kharekhara pitAjI saMyamanA mArge jaze? sAce ja saMsArano tyAga karI deze?" hA, pitAjIne meM kyAreya potAnA nirNayamAMthI DagelA joyA nathI." paraMtu zuM mAtAjI emane saMyamanA mArge javA deze?" bhAvuka hRdaya to javAnI rajA na ja Ape, paraMtu samajadArI tyAganA mArge jatA svajanane roke paNa nahIM! mAtA khUba rudana karaze, kalpAMta karaze.... paraMtu e pitAjInA mArgamAM vighna to nahIM ja bane. chevaTe pitAjIne mAnavajIvananI saphaLatA mATe AtmakalyANanI sAdhanA karavA devI ja joIe.' "mAtAjIne samAcAra to maLI gayA haze?" pitAjI rAjasabhAmAMthI sIdhA mArI pAse ja gayA. teo A vAta karavA ja gayA haze." to to....' bolatAM RSidattAnI AMkho sajala banI. mA khUba rudana karatI haze - ema kahevuM che ne?" "hA, huM jAuM mAtAjInI pAse?' pitAjI tyAMthI jAya eTale turta ja ApaNe mAnI pAse jaIe." RSidattA bolI nahIM. te UMDA vicAramAM khovAI gaI. rukmiNI paNa jANe zUnyamanaska jevI thaI gaI. huM pazcima dizAnA jharUkhAmAM jaIne Ubho rahyo...... nagaranAM maMdiro upara pharakatI dhajAo najare paDI... upara AkAzamAM kyAMka kyAMka UbhelI nAnI nAnI vAdaLIone joI. dUra dUra AkAza ane dharatInA milanane joyuM.. jANe ke aMtayAtrA zarU thaI gaI hoya, evo AbhAsa thayo. pitAjInA saMsAratyAganA nirNaye mArA aMta:karaNamAM paNa khaLabhaLATa pedA karI dIdho hato. UMDe UMDe mArA hRdayamAM paNa saMyamajIvanano prema paDelo hato, e mane samajAyuM. A saMsAranI asAratAnA, jIvananI kSaNikatAnA ane AtmAnI vizuddhinA vicAro mane kyAreka kyAreka AvI jatA hatA. bhojanano samaya thaI gayo hato, paraMtu koIne Aje bhojanamAM rasa na hato....! For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #153
24 Acharya Shri Kailassagarsuri Gyanmandir zubha muhUrte mAro rAjyAbhiSeka thaI gayo. samagra rAjyamAM bhavya mahotsava UjavAyo. haju rAjyAbhiSeka mahotsavanI ujavaNI pUrI paNa nahotI thaI, tyAM ughAnapAlake samAcAra ApyA ke bAhya udyAnamAM eka tejasvI ane pratibhAsaMpanna jainAcArya vizALa ziSya-parivAra sAthe padhAryA che. samAcAra sAMbhaLI amane sahune khUba ja harSa thayo. pitAjIne to joItuM hatuM ne maLI gayuM! pitAjInI sAthe ame sahu e pUjya AcAryazrIne vaMdana karavA ane teono upadeza sAMbhaLavA bAhya udyAnamAM gayAM. AmravRkSo ane azokavRkSonI dhaTAomAM evI nAnI nAnI kuTiro hatI ke jyAM sAdhu-saMto ane padayAtriko nivAsa karI zake. ame tyAM joyuM to e badhI ja kuTiro ane enAM AMgaNa, sAdhupuruSonI jJAna-dhyAna-bhakti-sevA vagere vividha ArAdhanAothI pulakita banI gayAM hatAM. AcArya bhagavaMtanuM puNyanAma zrI bhadrAcAryajI hatuM. jyAre ame natamastaka banI teonA caraNe bhAvapUrNa vaMdanA karI, teoe 'dharmalAbha'no AzIrvAda Apyo. teonAM AzIrvAda-vacanomAM mIThAza hatI, karuNA hatI ane hRdayane jhaNajhaNAvI denAra zakti hatI. teoe amane dharmopadeza Apyo. vaiSayaka sukhonI niHsAratA, mArakatA ane kSaNikatA samajAvI. mokSasukhanI kalpanA ApI. mokSamArganuM svarUpa aneka dRSTAMto ane tarkothI samajAvyuM. vANImAM jevI mIThAza hatI, evI ja vedhakatA hatI. rasalIna.... tallIna banIne ame upadeza sAMbhaLyo. upadeza pUrNa thatAM pitAjIe UbhA thaIne, be hAtha joDI mastaka namAvI AcAryadevane vinaMtI karI : 'bhagavaMta, mane cAritradharma ApI, A saMsAramAMthI mukta karavAnI kRpA karo. mane A saMsAranAM sukho duHkharUpa lAgyAM che. mArA haiye AtmAnA zuddha svarUpane prApta karavAnI tamannA jAgI che.' 'mahAnubhAva! tamAro saMkalpa zreSTha che. tame mAnavajIvanane saphaLa karazo. anaMtakALa jUnAM karmanAM baMdhano toDavAno A ja eka uttama mArga che. vilaMba karyA vinA saMkalpane AcaraNamAM mUkavo joIe.' For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #154
142 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM - pitAjIe zrI bhadrAcAryajInA pAvana caraNomAM cAritradharma svIkArI jIvana dhanya banAvyuM. samagra rAjyamAM jinezvara bhagavaMtanI bhaktino bhavya mahotsava UjavAyo. thoDA mahinAomAM,... thoDA divasomAM nahIM dhArelI ghaTanAo banI gaI. RSidanA kalaMkita banI... huM rukmiNI sAthe lagna karavA kAverI gayo..... RSidattAnuM punaH milana thayuM.... mAro rAjyAbhiSeka... ane pitAjInuM cAritrapaMthe prayANa. A badhuM aNadhAryuM banI gayuM hatuM. maMtrImaMDaLanA sahayogathI meM rAjyataMtra vyavasthita saMbhALI lIdhuM. mahAjana ane prajAjanono mArA pratye apAra sneha hato. meM paNa prajAnA sukha-duHkhane jANavAno ane prajAnI takalIpho dUra karavAno abhigama cAlu rAkhyo hato. RSidattA ane rukmiNI sAthe mArI saMsArayAtrA AnaMdapUrvaka cAlI rahI hatI. mAtA jyAM sudhI jIvaMta rahI tyAM sudhI meM ane baMne rANIoe paryApta sevA karI. pitAjInA saMsAra-tyAga pachI mAtAe thoDAMka ja varSo pasAra karyA. tenA mRtyuthI mArA jIvanamAM eka moTo abhAva pedA thaI gayo. eka divasa traSidattAe prabhAta samaye mane kahyuM : "prANanAtha, Aje rAtre meM eka suMdara svapna joyuM! eka ratha joyo... e rathane be suMdara siMha joDelA hatA!' tuM eka siMha jevA putrane janma ApIza... ApaNe e putranuM nAma siMharatha pADIzuM!" RSidattA khUba prasannacitta banI gaI. e garbhavatI hatI. enuM rUpalAvaNya khIlI UThyuM hatuM. enA manamAM sArI sArI abhilASAo utpanna thatI hatI. e abhilASAo huM pUrNa karato hato. kmiNI paNa paLepaLe RSidattAnI kALajI rAkhatI hatI. samaya pUrNa thatAM RSidattAe eka suMdara putrane janma Apyo. samagra rAjyamAM ghera ghera utsavo maMDAyA. rAjamahela asaMkhya phUlamALAothI ane dIpakothI zaNagArAyo. AkhuMya rathamardana nagara zaNagAravAmAM AvyuM. Ameya prajAjanone RSidattA tarapha atyaMta Adara hato, bhakti hatI, temAM putrajanma thayo! RSidattA mAtA banI! prajAjanono harSa hiloLe caDyo. putrajanmanA samAcAra kAverI pahoMcatAM mahArAjA surasuMdara ane mahArANI vAsulA turta ja rathamardana nagare AvI pahoMcyAM, kAraNa ke teo RSidattAne For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #155
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 143 potAnI putrI mAnatAM hatAM. AvIne temaNe e badho ja vyavahAra karyo ke je RSidattAnA pitRgRha taraphathI thavo joIe. ame rAjakumAranuM nAma "siharatha' rAkhyuM. ame thoDAka vadhu divaso mahArAjA surasuMdarane rokAI javA Agraha karyo. teo rokAI gayA. rANI vAsulA to siMharathane potAnA khoLAmAMthI nIce ja na mUke. rumiNI to jANe pote ja mAtA hoya e rIte siharathane prema ApatI hatI. TUMkamAM kahuM to siMhAthano janma thatAM amAro mahela 'AnaMdamahela" banI gayo. varSo pachI varSo vItavA lAgyAM. saMsAranAM aneka kaMdhomAMthI pasAra thatAM rahyAM... saMsAramAM jyAM anaMta janmo pasAra thaI gayA.... tyAM thoDAMka varSonuM jIvana pasAra thatAM keTalI vAra? siMha rathano bAlyakALa vItI gayo, taruNAvasthA paNa pasAra thaI gaI... aneka kaLAomAM e pravINa banato gayo. eka divasa kAverIthI samAcAra AvyA ke mahArANI vAsulA asvastha che, rukmiNIne yAda kare che... turaMta ja meM rAjakumAra siMharatha sAthe rukmiNIne kAverI javA ravAnA karI. bhojanAdithI nivRtta thaI saMdhyA samaye huM mahelanA pazcima dizAnA jharUkhe beTho hato. kSitija upara saMdhyA khIlI hatI. saMdhyAnA raMgo jovAmAM huM lIna hato, tyAM RSidattA AvIne mArI pAse besI gaI hatI.... te bolI : "saMdhyA kevI adUbhuta khIlI che!' meM RSidattA sAme arthasUcaka dRSTie joyuM! paNa enI najara kSitija para maMDAI gaI hatI. acAnaka sakhata pavana zarU thaI gayo ane kSitija para kALA bhammara vAdaLo gherAI gayAM! 'devI, saMdhyA vilAI gaI! raMgo naSTa thaI gayA! ronaka cAlI gaI! "huM, badhuM kSaNavAramAM... DUbI gayuM!' zuM ApaNuM jIvana paNa AvuM nathI? badhuM ja kSaNika! badhuM ja asthira ane badhuM ja nAzavaMta!' sAcI vAta che nAtha, yauvananA raMgo kANika ja che ne? jIvana nAzavaMta ja che ne? vaibhavo paNa asthira ja che ne?" basa, pApakarmanAM ghanaghora vAdaLo caDhI Ave, eTalI ja vAra! badhuM hatuM na hatuM thaI jAya...." For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #156
144 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM RSidattA mauna thaI gaI. mArI daSTi dUra dUra aMdhakAra tarapha maMDAI gaI. nagaramAM dIpako pragaTI gayA hatA. aMdhakAramAM e dIpakono prakAza manane gamI gayo. paraMtu Aje mana svasthatAthI ane gaMbhIratAthI ciMtana karI rahyuM hatuM. kharekhara, mane kyAreka A rAjamahela... A vaibhava.... A snehIsvajano.. A badhuM ja choDIne saMyamanA mArge cAlI nIkaLavAnI tIvra icchA thaI Ave che. vaLI mana pAchuM mohamAyAmAM lapeTAI jAya che....' | RSidattA bolI ane teNe mArI sAme joyuM. khaMDamAM dIpako pragaTI gayA hatA. meM RSidattAnI AMkhomAM vairAgyanuM pratibiMba joyuM. tenA mukha para anAsaktinA paDachAyA joyA. jevI tArA mananI sthiti che evI mArA mananI sthiti che... emAMya jyAre saMsAranI duHkhada ghaTanAo jovA maLe che, sAMbhaLavA maLe che, tyAre to mana tIvra vairAgya anubhave che. kyAreka to rAtre kalAka-be kalAka sudhI AtmaciMtana cAlyA kare che. saMsAra svapnavat bhAse che... AtmAnuM zuddha svarUpa khUba game che.... sahaja rIte AtmadhyAnamAM DUbI javAya che...." "nAtha, ApaNA vicAro.... ApaNA Adarzo.... keTalA badhA samAna che! nAtha, ApaNe A ja jIvanamAM zuM evo puruSArtha na karI laIe ke saMsAraparibhramaNano ja aMta AvI jAya! sarva karmono nAza thaI jAya.... AtmA siddha, buddha ane mukta thaI jAya!" kema na thaI zake evo puruSArtha? ApaNo daDha saMkalpa hoya to evo dharmapuruSArtha azakya nathI....' moDI rAta sudhI amAro Avo AdhyAtmika vArtAlApa cAlato rahyo. amArA baMnenAM hRdaya koI agamya AnaMdathI chalakAI gayAM hatAM. zrI namaskAra mahAmaMtranuM smaraNa karatAM nidrAdhIna thayAM. bIjA divase UThIne prAbhAtika kAryothI nivRtta thaIne beTho hato, tyAM udyAnapAlake namana karIne kahyuM : mahArAjA, kusumAkara udyAnamAM eka prabhAvasaMpanna AcArya bhagavaMta, ziSya parivAra sAthe padhAryA che. teo viziSTa jJAnI puruSa che. evuM teonA be ziSyo pAsethI jANavA maLyuM che.' mArA AnaMdanI avadhi na rahI. meM vanapAlakane suvarNanAM AbhUSaNa bheTa ApyAM ane nagaramAM jAhera karAvyuM ke "kusumAkara udyAnamAM mahAna jJAnI For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #157
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 145 AcArya bhagavaMta padhAryA che, teonAM darzana karavA ane temano upadeza sAMbhaLavA sahu udyAnamAM jAya.' huM ane RSidanA amArA parivAra sAthe udyAnamAM pahoMcyAM. AcArya bhagavaMtanAM darzana karatAM zarIra romAMcita thaI gayuM. haiyuM gadgad thaI gayuM. ame vinayapUrvaka teono upadeza sAMbhaLavA besI gayAM. AcAryadeva hRdayasparzI upadeza Apyo. teono eka eka zabda amArA rAga-dveSanAM jhera utArI rahyo hato... amArAM mana praphullita thaI gayAM. AtmabhAva khUba nirmaLa banyo. upadeza pUro thayA pachI, RSidattAe mastake aMjali joDI AcAryadevane prazna pUchayo : he kRpAvaMta, meM pUrvabhavamAM evuM kyuM pApakarma AcaryuM hatuM ke jenA pariNAme A jIvanamAM mArA upara "rAkSasI'nuM kalaMka AvyuM Apa jJAnI mahApuruSa cho.... bhUtakALa ane bhaviSyakALa ApanA jJAnamAM pratyakSa che.... zuM Apa mArI jijJAsAne saMtoSavAnI kRpA karazo? AcArya bhagavaMte AMkho baMdha karI. thoDIka kSaNo mauna patharAyuM. samagra parSadA RSidattAnA praznano uttara sAMbhaLavA Atura hatI, AcAryazrIe AMkho kholI ane RSidattAne saMbodhIne kahyuM : he puNyazAlinI, tArA pUrvajanmano vRttAMta sAMbhaLa." A ja bhAratamAM gaMgApura nAmanuM nagara che. temAM gaMgAdatta nAmano rAjA rAjya karato hato. tenI rANInuM nAma gaMgA hatuM. temanI putrInuM nAma gaMgAsenA hatuM. gaMgApuramAM candrayazA nAmanAM sAdhvI padhAryA. gaMgAsenA sAdhvIjInA paricayamAM AvI. sAdhvIjInA upadezathI gaMgAsenAne saMsAranAM vaiSayika sukho asAra lAgyAM. e vadhu samaya sAdhvIjInA sAnnidhyamAM pasAra karavA lAgI. e nagaramAM saMgA nAmanI eka zrAvikA hatI. e paNa sAdhvIjInA paricayamAM AvavAthI dharmanA raMge raMgAI, eNe eka mahinAnA upavAsa zarU karyA, nagaramAM enI khUba prazaMsA thavA lAgI. nagaravAsI loko saMgAnAM darzana mATe AvavA lAgyAM. gaMgAsenAmAM IrSyA jAgI. saMgAnI prazaMsA sAMbhaLI zakatI nathI. rAtadivasa IrSyAthI te baLe che. saMgAnI prazaMsA thatI baMdha karAvavA mATe e upAya vicAravA lAgI! gaMgAsenA viSayo pratye virakta jarUra hatI, paraMtu tenAmAM For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #158
146 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM guNAnurAga nahato, pramodabhAva nahoto, saMgAnI tapazcaryAnI prazaMsA karavI to dUra rahI, enI prazaMsA na thAya, eno vicAra karavA lAgI. gaMgAsenAnA manamAM eka bhayaMkara vicAra Avyo. teNe nagaranI strIo samakSa vAta karavA mAMDI : "A saMgA to rAkSasI che! rAtre te mAMsabhakSaNa kare che ane divase tapa kare che...' vAta vAyuvege nagaramAM prasarI gaI. saMgAnA kAne paNa vAta AvI, paraMtu te mauna rahI. saMgA pAse jJAnadRSTi hatI. teNe jarAya pratikAra na karyo, jarAya roSa na karyo.... potAnAM ja pApakarmano doSa joyo. khUba samatAbhAve teNe upavAsa pUrA karyA. samaya vItI gayo. gaMgAsenAe kyAreya potAnI bhUlano svIkAra na karyo. kyAreya saMgAnI kSamA na mAMgI.... AyuSya pUruM thatAM enuM mRtyu thayuM. marIne te A saMsAranI aneka durgatiomAM bhaTakI. vaLI e ja gaMgApuramAM rAjaputrI thaI. yauvanamAM AvI. sAdhvIjIno saMyoga thatAM saMsAra pratye vairAgya pragaTyo... eNe cAritradharma svIkAryo, sAdhvI banI gaI. sAdhvI jIvanamAM te kaSAyo para vijaya na meLavI zakI. krodhakaSAyane paravaza paDI mRtyu samaye paNa AtmanirIkSaNa na karI zakIe karelA kaSAyanI AlocanA na karI. prAyazcitta na karyuM... marIne te bIjA devalokamAM izAnendranI rANI banI. devalokanuM AyuSya pUrNa karIne, te hariSaNa rAjarSinI rANI prItimatinI kUkhe putrI tarIke janmI... tenuM nAma RSidattA! he bhadra! tArA para "rAkSasI' tarIkenuM kalaMka zAthI AvyuM, te tuM have samajI haze." | RSidattA potAnA pUrvabhavano vRttAMta sAMbhaLIne stabdha thaI gaI. ene tyAM ja jAtismaraNa jJAna thaI gayuM. teNe svayaM potAnA pUrvabhava joyA. je pramANe AcAryazrI bhadrayazAcArye enA bhavo batAvyA hatA, te ja pramANe eNe potAnA bhavo joyA.... tenuM mana saMsAranAM sukho tarapha virakta banI gayuM. mAruM mana paNa atyaMta virAgI banI gayuM. AcAryadevane punaH vaMdanA karI ane rAjamahele AvyAM. bhojanAdithI nivRtta thaI, meM RSidattAne kahyuM : "devI, kAverIthI siMharathakumArane ane rukmiNIne For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #159
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM. 14che. bolAvI laIe. siMharathano rAjyAbhiSeka karI ApaNe cAritramArge prayANa karIe." RpidattAe mAro prastAva vadhAvI lIdho. meM turta ja dUtane bolAvI kAverI javAno Adeza Apyo, dUta mAro saMdeza laIne azvArUDha banI kAverI tarapha UpaDI gayo. bIjA divase mahAmaMtrIne bolAvIne mArI bhAvanA temane kahI, vayovRddha mahAmaMtrInI AMkho bhInI thaI gaI. thoDI vAra teo kaMI ja bolyA nahIM... meM kahyuM : mahAmaMtrI, Apa sujJa cho, saMsAranA svarUpane jANo cho. chellA keTalAya divasothI mArA manamAM AMtarasaMgharSa cAlato hato.... chevaTe gaI kAle pUjya AcAryadevanA mukhe rANInA pUrvajanmono vRttAMta sAMbhaLyo ane vairAgyabhAvanA daDha thaI. rANIne meM mAro nirNaya jaNAvyo tyAre temaNe paNa mArI sAthe ja saMsAratyAga karavAnI icchA batAvI.' Apa siMharathane saMbhALajo. enAmAM aneka saguNo che, chatAMya yuvAna vaya che. kyAreka koI bhUla karI bese to Apa sudhArI lezo. prajAnuM hita enA haiye kAyama rahe te mATe samaye samaye ene mArgadarzana Apajo." mahArAja, rAjapATa choDIne, apAra vaibhavasaMpattino tyAga karIne Apa cAritrajIvana aMgIkAra karavA iccho cho, e Apano mahAna puruSArtha che. mAnavajIvanano zreSTha puruSArtha che... Apano nirNaya sAco che, sAro che, paraMtu ApanA pratyeno sneha mArA hRdayane vyathita kare che... bAkI, have mAre paNa keTalAM varSa jIvavAnuM che? huM to A saMsAramAM be-traNa varSano mahemAna chuM.... huM cAritra jIvana na laI zakyo, enuM mArA hRdayamAM duHkha che. have mArA mATe e jIvana asaMbhava che..." siMharathanA rAjyAbhiSeka aMgenI vAto karI ame chUTA paDyA. huM pUrNa vaphAdAra mahAmaMtrIne jatA joI rahyo. rAjyane ane rAjaparivArane potAno mAnI, enA taraphanA potAnA badhAM ja kartavyone jiMdagIparyaMta bajAvanArA e mahApuruSane mAruM mana vaMdI rahyuM. huM mArAM Avazyaka kAryomAM gUMthAyo. madhyAhUnano samaya thayo. RSidattAe mane bhojanAdithI paravAravA kahyuM. huM bhojana mATe bhojanAlayamAM gayo. tyAM RSidattAe mane kahyuM : For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #160
148 pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM "nAtha, jyAre ApaNI vAta rukmiNI jANaze tyAre tene kevo AghAta lAgaze? vaLI enA hRdayamAM to saMsArasukhanI icchAo bharelI che.... zuM Ape eno vicAra karyo?' RSidattAnI vAta sAMbhaLI huM vicAramAM paDI gayo. RSidattAe vaLI potAnI vAta AgaLa vadhArI : siMha rathane ApanA upara kevo agAdha prema che? e zuM Apane anumati Apaze? Apa virakta banyA cho, paraMtu e kyAM virakta banyo che?" "tArI vAta sAcI che, jIvane potAnI rAgadazA ja du:khI karatI hoya che, emane ApaNA baMne pratye sneha che mATe e du:khI thavAnA, emane AghAta lAgavAno.... huM e baMnene samajAvavAno prayatna karIza ja." thoDA divaso vItyA ane kAverIthI rukmiNI tathA siharatha AvI gayAM. temane acAnaka bolAvyAM hovAthI emanA manamAM koI aNadhArI ghaTanAnI zaMkA AvI hoya te svAbhAvika che, upara uparathI to temane evuM kaMI lAgyuM nahIM. nAna-bhojanAdithI nivRtta thaI jyAre siMharatha mArI pAse AvIne beTho, tyAre meM ene khUba vAtsalyathI kahyuM : siMharatha, thoDA ja divasomAM tAro rAjyAbhiSeka karavAno che! mATe tane jaladI ahIM bolAvI lIdho." ATalI badhI utAvaLa zA mATe, pitAjI?" "jIvana caMcaLa che.... mane lAge che ke mAre have avilaMba AtmakalyANano puruSArtha karI levo joIe." "pitAjI, haju kyAM vRddhAvasthA AvI gaI che?' vatsa, mRtyu koI paNa avasthAmAM AvI zake che... mATe jyAre hRdayamAM AtmakalyANa sAdhI levAno bhAva jAge tyAre sAdhanA karI levI joIe. vaLI, have tuM sarva kalAomAM nipuNa banyo che. rAjyasaMcAlana karavAnI yogyatA tArAmAM AvI gaI che. mATe tane rAjya soMpI meM ane tArI mAtAe, cAritranA mArge javAno nirNaya karyo che.' siMharathanA mukha upara udAsInatA chavAI gaI. e kaMI bolyo nahIM. enI AMkho ArTa banI gaI hatI. meM enA mastake hAtha mUkI ene khUba AzvAsana ApyuM. e mArI pAsethI UThIne, mane praNAma karIne enI mAtA pAse cAlyo gayo. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #161
pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM 149 enA gayA pachI rukmiNIe khaMDamAM praveza karyo. eka rAjarANIne chAje tevI garimA tenA mukha para jhaLakatI hatI. tenA vyaktitvamAMthI aneka AkAMkSAo TapakatI hatI. te AvIne mArA caraNomAM besI gaI. mArI kuzaLatA pUchIne e jijJAsAthI mArI sAme joI rahI. rukimaNI, thoDA ja divasomAM siharathano rAjyAbhiSeka karavAno che!" acAnaka nirNaya karyo?' hA, thoDAka divaso pahelAM ahIM padhArelA eka jJAnI mahApuruSa AcAryadevanA mukhe RSidattAnA pUrvajanmono vRttAMta sAMbhaLIne A saMsAranI bhayaMkaratA samajAI, viSayika sukhono rAga cAlyo gayo. hRdaya khUba ja anAsakta banI gayuM.... jevI mArI manodazA sarjAI tevI ja manodazA RSidanAnI sarjAI.... ame baMnee saMsAratyAga karavAno nirNaya karyo. tethI turta tamane bolAvavA dUtane kAverI mokalyo." rukmiNI ekAgratAthI ane gaMbhIratAthI mArI vAta sAMbhaLI rahI hatI. huM jyAM aTakyo, teNe kahyuM : "svAmInAtha, zuM Apa baMne cAritranA mArge ja zo? mArA manamAM evo vairAgyano bhAva ja jAgato nathI.... huM zuM karIza, nAtha? 'devI, tAre siMharathane saMbhALavAno. siharathanA jIvananI javAbadArI tArI. bhale tuM saMyamanA mArge na AvI zake, gRhastha jIvanamAM dharmamaya jIvana jIvavAnuM.. A mAnavajIvana dharmapuruSArtha mATe ja che.' rukmiNI raDI paDI. meM ene premathI samajAvavA prayatna karyo, paraMtu tenA mananuM samAdhAna thatuM na lAgyuM. tyAM siMharathane laIne RSidattAe khaMDamAM praveza karyo. siMha rathanA mukha para ghora glAni, udAsInatA ane asvasthatA gherAyelI hatI. RSidattAe rukmiNI ane siMharathane uddezIne evI hRdayasparzI tattvajJAnanI vAto karI ke e baMneno viSAda dUra thayo. rAga ane mohanA prabhAvamAMthI kAMIka mukta thayA. vAtAvaraNamAM haLavAza AvI. bIjA divase savAre RSidattAe mane kahyuM : "rAtre rukmiNIe khUba ja rudana karyuM hatuM. e kaMI bolatI na hatI... basa, 2DhyA ja karatI hatI....' "tuM enA mananuM samAdhAna karavA prayatna karatI raheje. be-cAra divasomAM enuM mana svastha thaI jaze....' For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #162
15o. pAMpaNe bAMdhyuM pANiyAruM siMharathanA rAjyAbhiSekano divasa AvI gayo. samagra rAjyamAM mahotsava maMDAyo, bhavya dabadabA sAthe siharathano rAjyAbhiSeka karavAmAM Avyo. rAjyAbhiSekanA samaye ja meM mAro saMsAratyAgano nirNaya jAhera karyo. nagaranA bAhya udyAnamAM AcAryazrI bhadrayazAcAryajI birAjamAna hatA. teonI jJAnadRSTi anAgatanA bhAvone paNa jANatI hatI! ame bIjA ja divase AcArya bhagavaMtanA caraNomAM pahoMcyAM... vinayapUrvaka mastake aMjali joDI kahyuM : "gurudeva, amane cAritradharma ApI A bhavasAgarathI tAravAnI kRpA karo." mahAnubhAva, tamArI bhAvanA zreSTha che. cAritradharmanI ArAdhanA karI mAnavajIvana saphaLa karI levAnuM che. anAdikAlIna paribhramaNano aMta lAvI devAno che." nagaranAM jinamaMdiromAM prabhubhaktinA mahotsavo maMDAyA. mitra rAjyonA aneka rAjAo ane rAjakumAro rathamardana nagaramAM AvI pahoMcyA. kAverIthI mahArAjA surasuMdara paNa saparivAra AvI gayA. zubha divasa ane zubha muhUrta pUjya AcAryadeve mane ane RSidattAne cAritradharma ApavAnI kRpA karI. amArAM AnaMdanI avadhi na rahI. pUjya gurudevanI sAthe ame rathamaIna nagarathI vihAra karyo. amArI saMyamayAtrAno prAraMbha thaI gayo. pUjya gurudevazrIno pratipaLa vinaya karIne meM zrutajJAna meLavavA mAMDyuM. RSidanA sAdhvIsaMghamAM rahIne saMyamasAdhanA karavA lAgI. jJAna ane dhyAna sAthe ame tIvra tapazcaryA karavA mAMDI. dharmadhyAnamAM lIna rahevA mAMDyuM. amAruM eka ja lakSa karmakSayanuM hatuM! sarva karmono nAza karI AtmAnuM zuddha svarUpe pragaTa karavAnuM! - saMyamajIvananAM varSo pasAra thavA lAgyAM. amArI Atmavizuddhi niraMtara vadhatI cAlIeka divasa huM jaMgalamAM eka paththaranI zilA para besIne dharmadhyAnamAM lIna hato. tyAM varSollAsa vadhI gayo.... dharmadhyAnamAMthI zukladhyAnamAM praveza thaI gayo... ghAtakarmono nAza thaI gayo. mane kevaLajJAnanI prApti thaI gaI.. sAdhvI RSidarAne paNa pUrNa jJAna prApta thayuM. For Private And Personal Use Only

Page #163
AcArya zrI kailAsasAgarasUri jJAnamaMdira kobA tIrtha Acharya Sri Kailasasagarsuri Gyanmandir Sri Mahavir Jain Aradhana Kendra Koba Tirth, Gandhinagar-382 007 (Guj.) INDIA Website : www.kobatirth.org E-mail: gyanmandir@kobatirth.org ISBN:978-81-89177-06-5 For Private And Personal use only