Jainendra Kahani 07

Author(s): Purvodaya Prakashan
Publisher: Purvodaya Prakashan
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/010360/1

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jainendra-sAhitya [18] jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] [ 'TakarAhaTa' (ekAMkI) tathA 'rAjIva aura bhAbhI' aura anya kahAniyA~] pUrvo da ya prakAzana 7, dariyAgaMja, dillI

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pUrvodaya prakAzana 7. dariyAgaMja, dillI prathama saMskaraNa 1954 mUlya sAr3he tIna rupae pUrvodaya prakAzana, 7 dariyAgaMja, dillI kI ora se dilIpakumAra dvArA prakAzita aura nyU iNDiyA presa, naI dillI meM mudrita

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prakAzaka kI ora se 'jainendra-sAhitya' kA yaha aThArahavA~ bhAga aura 'jainendra kI kahAniyA~' kA sAtavA~ bhAgA hai / / isa saMgraha meM kahAniyoM ke atirikta 'TakarAhaTa' nAmaka ekAMkI bhI saMkalita kiyA gayA hai / yadyapi jainendra jI ne yaha eka hI ekAMkI likhA hai, phira bhI isakI bahuta carcA huI hai| hindI meM aise kama ekAMkI hoMge, jina meM caritroM kA itanA manovaijJAnika citraNa kiyA gayA ho| apane DhaMga kA yaha advitIya manovaijJAnika ekAMkI hai| prastuta saMgraha kI kahAniyoM meM samasyApUrNa jIvana ke vaividhya ko eka Antarika saMsparza aura dArzanika gaharAI ke sAtha vividharUpoM meM prakaTa kiyA gayA hai| jainendra kI yaha kahAniyA~ par3ha para lagatA hai ki kevala rocakatA aura ghaTanA se kahAnI nahIM banatI; balki kahAnI meM jIvana ko jIvita rakhane vAle Atma-tattva kI pratiSThA anivArya hai, aura yaha Atma-tatva jainendra ke prema-mUlaka dRSTikoNa kA AdhAra hai, jo unakI kahAniyoM meM pratidhvanita hotA rahatA hai / jainendra ke apane isa maulika dRSTikoNa ke kAraNa hI unakI ye kahAniyA~ apanA eka pRthak aura maulika mahattva rakhatI haiN|

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TakarAhaTa rAjIva aura bhAbhI soddezya kucha ulajhana mauta kI kahAnI rukiyA bur3hiyA darzana kI rAha to lAye vyartha prayatna tribenI prema kI bAta AlocanA kyA ho? cAlIsa rupaye pyAra kA tarka vaha ceharA 107 123 128 134 ra05

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TakarAhaTa pahalA dRzya [ eka bar3e kamare kA bhItarI bhAga / dIvAreM sapheda, korI | sAmAna bahuta kama / pharza nagna | rAmadAsa ke Asa-pAsa kAgaja phaile haiM, kucha likha rahA hai, baiThA caTAI para hai, sAmane caukI hai| eka ora moTA gaddA bichA hai, usa para cA~danI, eka masanada / pAsa alaga eka Deska / ] [ kailAza praveza karate haiM / kSaNa-ika daravAje para ThiThakakara saba dekhate haiM / rAmadAsa sahasA unheM dekhate hI ghabarAyA-sA uTha khar3A hotA hai | ] ! (jora kailAza -- nahIM | baiTho - baiTho / rAma ke dAsa ko ghabarAhUTa se ha~sate haiM / rAmadAsa unake paira chUtA hai / ) acchA, huA / kaho, saba maje meM ? tumhAre prayoga cala rahe haiM na ? rAmadAsa - jI hA~ / kailAza - to mahAtmA rAmadAsa banane kI ThAnI hai ! [ ha~sate hue calakara biche gadde para takiye ke sahAre baiTha jAte haiM / rAmadAsa kucha kAgajoM kI phAila lAkara sAmane rakhatA hai / ] - lekina usa kone meM makar3I ke jAle kI jarUrata kyoM huI ? (ha~sate haiM) kala kamare kI saphAI hamAre Upara / samajhe ? 1

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] rAmadAsa cupa rahatA hai| kailAza phAila dekhane lagate haiN| kucha dera meM nAyara kA praveza / vaha kucha jhijhaka rahA hai / kailAza-(dekhakara) Ayo / kho| nAyara-misa sikleara pApa se kaba mileM ? kailAza-lilI na ? Aja se unheM lIlA kho| ina kAgajoM se nibaTa taba bhejnaa| unakI vyavasthA to saba ThIka hai ? nAyara-saba ThIka hai| kailAza-pAzrama kA khAnA unheM anukUla hotA hai ? dekho, mehamAna ke lie hameM apane niyamoM kA Agraha nahIM ho sktaa| tuma unase milate rahate ho na? nAyara-jI haaN| kailAza-kyA khyAla hai| yahA~ raheMgI ? nAyara-abhI to Apa se milane ko utsuka haiM / kailAza-(sAmane ghar3I dekhate hue) kalA kA kyA hAla hai ? nAyara-vaisA hI hai| Temparecara ho pAtA hai| unheM kAma se nahIM rokA jA sakatA hai| hara ghar3I kucha-na-kucha karate rahane kA Agraha karatI haiN| unheM Apa kahIM seneToriyama jAne ko lAcAra kareM to ThIka ho| hamArI kisI ko to sunatI nhiiN| kailAza-pagalI hai ! acchA, to aba mujhe chodd'o| nAyara-misa sikleara ko Apa abhI samaya de sakate to... kailAza-vaha adhIra haiM ? nAyara-jI, kucha vyagra haiN| ruSTa mAlUma hotI haiM ki maiM amarIkA se calakara AI aura pA~ca roja se baiThI hU~, phira bhI Apa se milana na huaa| ___ kailAza-acchA to abhI bhejo| (nAyara ko vahIM khar3e dekha kara) kyoM, kucha aura ?

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TakarAhaTa nAyara -- amarIkA se yaha tAra bhI AyA hai / [tAra detA hai / ] kailAza - ( par3hakara) inheM likha to diyA na ki khuzI se AveM / nAyara - mAlUma hotA hai ki misa siMkleara kI khAtira - / eka tAra unake nAma bhI thA / kailAza to ? nAyara meM... phira... dekha lIjie / kailAza - ( khilakhilAkara ha~sate hue) vaha meM samajhA / tuma saba sarala cAhate ho / para vakra se hameM DaranA na caahie| tAra de do ki jarUra AveM / acchA, aba lIlA ko bheja do / yAda rakho, lIlA / na misa, na lilI / [ nAyara calA jAtA hai / kailAza sAmane ke kAgajoM meM lagate haiM / ] kailAza - rAmadAsa, inameM se koI aisA to nahIM hai jo kala taka Thahara sake / rAmadAsa - jI, saba jarUrI haiM / kailAza - acchA, to mujhe sunAte jAo / javAba likhate jAnA / rAmadAsa -- ( pAsa baiThakara par3hanA zurU karatA hai) majadUroM ke sAtha kiye munAhide ko phira mAlikoM ne tor3a diyA hai / har3atAla kA chaThA roja hai | zrApa kaba taka pahu~ca sakeMge ? yA tArIkha deM ki hamAre pratinidhi AveM / kailAza - zanivAra likha do / pA~ca baje / aura dekha lo ki vaha vakta khAlI hai na / rAmadAsa - ( par3hatA hai) pradAyagI kI tArIkha A gaI hai / seTha jI Apake Adeza binA kucha na kreNge| aisA na ho ki naubata adAlata kI zrAve / kRpayA seTha jI ko prerita kreN| AjJA deM to sevA meM pahu~ca kara mAmalA saba khulAsA rakhU /

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* jainendra kI kahAniyAM [mAtavA~ bhAga] kailAza-paTanA kI gozAlA kI bAta hai na ? vahA~ siMha bAbU se .tAra se hAla maMgA lo / seTha jI se bhI vivaraNa maaNgo| (kucha aAhaTa pA Upara akheiM uThAte haiM to dIkhate haiM nAyara) A gae ! le Apro.-(lIlA kA praveza) Akhira pA~ca dina bAda meM mila to gayA ! bar3hI calI aayo| para dekho maiM bUr3hA hU~, uTha nahIM sktaa| [khilakhilAkara ha~sate haiN| lilI pAsa AtI hai| gadde para hI jarA saraka kara usake lie jagaha kara dete haiN| para vaha pAsa nIce pharza para baiTha jAtI hai| kailAza-(muskarA kara) rAmadAsa, apane kAgaja chor3o aura bhaagaa| (rAmadAsa calA jAtA hai / lilI se ) gadde se pharza ThaNDA hai, zAyada isI se nIce baiThI ho / ThIka / sunA tuma ina pA~ca dina khUba trsiiN| para merA kyA hAla rahA, yaha bhI jAnatI ho ? merA tuma se acchA hAla nahIM rahA / kaho, tumheM mAlUma huA ki nahIM ki tuma aba lIlA ho| bezaka zarta yaha ki tuma lIlA honA pasanda kro| lilI-maiM hindustAnI nahIM huuN| kailAza-hindustAna meM to ho / (ha~sate haiM) roma meM romana, hindustAna meM hindustaanii| bolo maMjara ?...para merA pUchanA vyartha hai| yaha sAr3I batA rahI hai| khaddara kI sAr3I meM kaisI bhalI lagatI ho, kucha mAlUma hai ? khaira yahI hai ki yahA~ koI AinA nahIM hai| (khilakhilAkara ha~sate haiM ) cAhatI ho, AinA ma~gAU~ ? . lIlA-mujhe yahA~ kaI roja ho gaye... kailAza-hA~, maiM bhuulaa| sabase pahale mujhe mAphI mAMganIM thii| para mujhe to daure pakar3e rahate haiM / Aja yahA~, to kala vahA~ / lekina tumheM Akara kyA yahA~ raha jAnA thA ? jahA~ hotA vahIM pahu~ca mujhe pakar3a letiiN| maiM to DaratA thA ki amarIkA se A rahI ho to prAsAnI se mujhe chuTTI na hogii| amarIkana pakke zikArI hote haiN| tumheM yahA~ koI kaSTa to nahIM huA ?

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TakarAhaTa lIlA-nahIM, kaSTa koI nhiiN| kailAza-hindustAnI khAnA cala to jAtA hai ? mijAja na ho to yahAM kA khAnA burA to nahIM hotaa| (khilakhilAkara ha~sate haiN|) . lIlA-mujhe yaha khAnA bahuta acchA lagatA hai| kailAza-hA~ ? taba to hama asabhya nahIM haiN| kalA ke pAsa vAle kamare meM hI ho na ? yAda rakhanA, vaha aba klerA nahIM hai| maiM cAhatA hU~ ki tuma use samajhA sako ki tapasvinI na bane / deha sukhAne ke lie to hameM nahIM milii| lIlA-unhoMne to mujhe aise rakhA jaise maiM ghara meM huuN| lekina Apa batAie, klerA ke sAtha mujhe bhI Apa apanI zaraNa meM rakha sakate haiM ? kailAza--zaraNa ! prabhu IsA kI zaraNa tumane gahI, taba phira kyA cAhie ? aura yaha dharatI Izvara kI hai| yahA~ kauna kisako zaraNa dene kA dambha kara sakatA hai| tumhArA ghara hai; grAmo, rho| kaho, kyA tuma yahA~ rahanA cAhatI ho ? lIlA-hA~, rahanA bhI cAhatI huuN| para kyA Apa kahate haiM mujhe yahA~ vaha milegA jo maiM cAhatI hU~? kailAza-kyA, sukha ? (khilakhilAkara ha~sate haiN|) lIlA-sukha to nahIM, lekina maiM duHkha se bacanA cAhatI huuN| maiM apane se, duniyA se bacanA cAhatI huuN| maiM amarIkA se bhAgI AI hU~, kyoM ? sunA thA koI hindustAna meM kailAza hai jise duniyA nahIM chuutii| kyA yaha saca hai ? yahA~ duniyA mujhe nahIM chU sakegI ? agara kaho ki aisA hai to maiM yahA~ rahanA cAhatI huuN| ___kailAza-(ha~sakara) tumhArA savAla to bar3A hai| (hAtha ghar3I meM lekara use dekhate hue ) para abhI to tuma ho hI / aba hama phira zAma ko mileN| yA zAma ko sone ke phle| zAma ko sAtha ghUmane cala sakatI ho| lIlA-kyA Apake kisI aura kAma kA samaya ho gayA hai ?

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] kailAza-hA~, so to ho hI gayA hai| vaise bhI milane-julane kA samaya aura hai / para tumheM zaMkA kI jarUrata nahIM hai / zAma ko phira bAteM hoNgii| mujhe amarIkA aura yorupa ke bAre meM bahuta kucha jAnanA hai / tumane bhI isa choTI umra meM vicitra anubhava pAye haiN| abhI tIsa kI tA nahIM huI ho na ? lIlA-agale janma-dina para chabbIsa varSa pUre hoNge| kailAza-(khilakhilA kara ha~sate hue) lekina maiM bUr3hA ho gyaa| para dekhogI ki tumhAre sAmane maiM tIsa varSa kA-sA dIkhane kA sAhasa kruuNgaa| phira bhI ghar3I pala-pala calatI hai| samaya kisI ko javAna rahane detA hai ! jumhArI aMgarejI meM kahAvata hai, Time is money lekina Time is much more. Money is nothing. (ghar3I Age karake) And one time is up. lIlA-aba maiM jAU~ ? kailAza-zAma ko phira milane ke vAyade para jaao| lIlA-mumakina hai, maiM Aja hI lauTa jAnA caahuuN| kailAza-Aja kaise lauTogI ? mujhe samaya die binA jA sakogI ? lIlA-dekhatI hU~, maiM ApakA harja karatI huuN| maiM harja karanA nahIM caahtii| kailAza-tabhI to kahA, hama zAma ko mileM / samaya do ki maiM bUr3hA bhI apanA prema jatalA skuu| [khilakhilAkara ha~sate haiN|] lIlA-prema ! Apa use jAnate haiM ? kailAza-pro rAma, aura maiM kise jAnatA hU~ ! lIlA-Apako vizvAsa hai, Apa hRdaya-hIna nahIM haiM ? kailAza-DAkTaroM ne abhI taka aisA nahIM btaayaa| aura mujhe bharosA hai ki dekhakara tuma bhI yaha phaisalA na do| nahIM haiM?

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TakarAhaTa lIlA-Apa apanA kAma kreN| Apa ko bahuta kAma hai| maiM prAja hI lauTa jAnA cAhatI huuN| kailAzanahIM, mujhe maukA dogI / maukA dene se pahale mujhe aparAdhI banAnA nyAya nahIM hai / aura tIsare pahara ke samaya thor3A ArAma... lIlA-ArAma mujhe nahIM caahie| ___ kailAza-(khilakhilAkara) to bhAI, mujhe to caahie| mai bUr3hA huuN| aura yaha kAgajoM kA puliMdA merA ArAma hai| aisI hAlata meM tuma isa bUr3he AdamI para akRpA karogI ? maiM jAnatA hU~, tuma mujhe avasara denA caahogii| maiM, samaya milate, bolo, tumhAre kamare kI ora AU~ ? dekhanA cAhatA hU~ isa dehAtI ghara meM tumane apanA amarIkA kaise surakSita rakhA hai| lIlA-zAma prApa akele ho sakate haiM ? kailAza-dekhatA hU~, tuma kaThina ho| tisa para hRdayahIna mujhe kahA jAtA hai / ( khilakhilAkara ha~sate haiN|) akelI merI zAma cAhatI ho, to vaha shii| [ lIlA isa para binA kucha bole calI jAtI hai|] kailAza-rAmadAsa, lo bhAI, ava A jAo / [ rAmadAsa pAsa Akara par3hanA cAhatA hai / kailAza takiye para jhuka kara mAno jarA vizrAma karate haiN|] dUsarA dRzya [ sandhyA, nadI kA kinArA / kailAza aura lIlA / ] kailAza-calI calogI, yA yahA~ baitthe| (nadI-taTa kI eka caTTAna kI ora bar3hate hue) prAyo, baittho| [kailAza baiThate haiM / jarA nIce kI ora lIlA bhI baiTha jAtI hai|]

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] kailAza-kaho-kaho, ruko nhiiN| basa itanA yAda rakhanA hai ki prArthanA kA samaya sAr3he-sAta hai / lIlA-maiM kahatI thI, maiM pUchanA cAhatI hU~ ki pApa kyA cIz2a hai| maiM pApa nahIM mAnanA caahtii| Apa saca kyA use mAnate haiM ? kailAza-pApa ko nahIM mAnane ke lie prArthanA hai| lIlA-maiM aba taka Azrama kI prArthanA meM nahIM zAmila huii| na honA cAhatI huuN| Apa isase nArAja haiM ? kailAza-bAta to nArAja hone kI hai| lIlA-to Apa nArAja ho sakate haiN| maiM yahA~ kucha roja rahanA bhI cAhatI hU~ aura apane mana ke khilApha bhI kucha nahIM karanA caahtii| Apa kaheMge to maiM nahIM rhuuNgii| agara mujhe apanI taraha rahane dekara bhI rakha sakate haiM to mai jarUra yahA~ kucha dina rahanA cAhatI huuN| mujhe jAnanA hai ki vaha zAnti kyA hai jo Apake Asa-pAsa pratIta hotI hai| kyA vaha jar3atA se kucha bhinna hai| ____ kailAza-acchI to bAta hai| raho aura jaano| lekina dekho, vidroha jhelane kI cIja hai| phailAne kI baha cIja nhiiN| dvandva bhar3akAnA nahIM cAhie / usakI mandatA uttama hai| lIlA-mandatA kyA jar3atA nahIM hai / santoSa bhI honatA hai / AsamAna kitanA bar3A hai, kaisA nIlA hai, kaisA sUnA hai| cir3iyA kahA~-kahA~ ur3a jAtI hai| maiM kyoM na unakI taraha ur3anA caahuuN| kyoM na maiM AsamAna bana jAnA caahuuN| mujhe kyoM haka nahIM hai ki maiM becaina rhuuN| phira prApakI zAnti mujhe asambhava lagatI hai / zAnti andhe banane meM hai / A~kha kholakara jo zAnta hai vaha...use maiM nahIM smjhtii| hA~, agara hai to zAnti pApa hai| apanI apUrNatAoM ko lekara koI kaise zAnta ho sakatA hai| kailAza-(muskarAkara) ThIka to hai !

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TakarAhaTa lIlA- --kyA ThIka hai ! azAnti ThIka hai / azAnti ko Apa samajhate bhI haiM ? maiM azAnta hU~ / mujhe batAiye meM kyA karU~ ? kailAza - prArthanA meM zAmila huA karo / lIlA - chor3ie prArthanA / maiM apanA dila Apake sAmane rakhatI hU~ | jI meM hotA hai, maiM calatI rahU~, calatI rahU~ / eka chana na Thaha / zrAja AkAza, kala pAtAla | mujhe hoza rahe hI nahIM, aisI behoza rahU~ / acchA, saca batAie, Apane kabhI nazA kiyA hai ? kailAza nahIM | lIlA- -taba Apa kucha nahIM jAnate ho| maiM cAhatI hU~ nazA, jo utare nahIM / kailAza jo nahIM utaratA, vaha bhI kyA phira nazA rahA ? lekina agara nazA ho to sAmane dekhatI to ho, usa naze ke lie zarAba hara ghar3I hara kahIM maujUda hai / nadI baha rahI hai; per3a haule-haule hila rahe haiM; ghAsa hariyAlI bichI hai; prAsamAna hai, jo saba ko lekara phira bhI sUnA hai; aura yaha dharatI jo saba sahatI hai aura gU~gI hai / isa saba-kucha ke bhItara kyA vaha nahIM hai jo prakSaya hai ? vaha kabhI nahIM cukatA / usakA nazA kabhI nahIM cukatA / usako cAho, usako pAtro / vaha nazA hai, jo utaregA nahIM / vaha azAnti meM bhI zAnti degA / lIlA- - basa / maiM aura nahIM suna sakatI / ApakA matalaba hai, Izvara / aura matalaba hai, dharma / mujhe nahIM cAhie Izvara nahIM cAhie dharma | Izvara ko maiMne DhakosalA pAyA hai / maiM cAhatI hU~ caina / mujhe yaha bhItara se kyA uksAhaTa satAtI rahatI hai / mAno koI kahatA rahatA hai, 'aura Age !' 'aura Age !' aisA jI kyoM hotA hai ki saba pA jAU~, aura phira usa saba ko masala du / sabako pairoM ke nIce rauMda dU~ aura phira chAtI se lagA lU~ ! kailAza - (karuNA kI ha~sI ha~sakara ) maiM samajhatA hU~ / zrAja calo

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] prArthanA meM zAmila homo / mere vicAra meM zAnti apanI maryAdAoM kI svIkRti hai| prArthanA meM hama apanI sImAoM ko kRtajJa bhAva se svIkAra karate haiN| prArthanA meM hama apane ko ajJa mAnate haiM, isI kAraNa prArthanA se vala milatA hai| liilaa-nhiiN-nhiiN| apanI maryAdAe~ mujhe kATatI haiM / meM khula jAnA cAhatI hU~, jaise hvaa| jisake lie kahIM roka nahIM, kahIM niSedha nahIM / jisakA niyama saba apane meM hai / [kailAza kI aura mAno avaza bhAva se dekhatI hai| kailAza muskarAte raha jAte haiN|] lIlA-Apa ha~sate hai| ha~sanA nirdaya hai| phira bhI Apake hI sAmane meM Aja saba khuuNgii| Apake pAsa amarIkA se eka tAra AyA hai / jo vyakti pAnA cAhatA hai, vaha mujhe behada prema karatA hai / maiM usake prema ko prema karatI huuN| lekina usakI bhUkha aisI hai ki vaha cAhatA hai ki maiM usI ke lie houuN| maiM kyA karU~ ? auroM ne bhI mujhe prema kiyA hai| una sabake prema ko maiMne prIti-pUrvaka svIkAra kiyA / maiM kisI eka AdamI ke lie kisI dUsare prAdamI ke prema ko kaise chor3eM / maiM kucha nahIM chor3anA caahtii| yaha AdamI naraka taka merA pIchA karanA cAhatA hai ki mujhe svarga meM le jaaye| mujhe usake sadAzaya para vizvAsa hai| mujhe usake svarga para vizvAsa hai| para maiM vaha nahIM caahtii| mujhe apane bhAgya para vizvAsa nahIM hai| vaha prAdamI mujhe itanA pyAra karatA hai ki usakA sArA pyAra meM na le sakI to acaraja nahIM ki isI para vaha mujhe mAra de| mujhe marane se Dara nahIM hai| usake hAthoM maranA mujhe na lgegaa| lekina mujhe mArane ke bAda usakI kyA hAlata hogI, yaha socatI hU~ to Dara jAtI huuN| phira bhI maiM apane tana ko usake hAtha meM nahIM sauMpa sakatI maiM vivAha nahIM kara sktii| aba taka jinhoMne mujhe prema kiyA, una sabake prati vivAha kRtaghnatA hogii| maiM taMga huuN| Apa mujhe apane Azrama meM

Page #16
TakarAhaTa 11. 1 rahane deM to bar3A prAbhAra ho / para mujha meM viSa hai jo maiMne batA diyA / mujhe isa Azrama para Apa para, saba para, IrSyA hotI hai / baccA ha~satA haiM to mujhe krodha zrAtA hai / koI kaise dhIra, kaise zAnta kaise prasanna raha sakatA hai, jaba mujhameM itane prazna aura itanI azAnti bharI huI hai / kahA~ se yaha saba kucha mere bhItara zrAyA hai| aba to par3hanA bhI chor3a diyA hai / phira kalpanA kyoM nahIM cupa rahatI ? jAna par3atA hai gati mujhe cAhie, gati, gati, gati / rukI ki marI / lekina bhAgate rahane se maiM taMga hU~ | cAhatI hU~ koI mujhe jabaradastI pakar3a le aura roka le / Apa kyA mujhe roka nahIM sakate haiM ? kailAza - to yahA~ mata ruko| a~dherA ho rahA hai / aba caleM / [ khar3e ho jAte haiM / lIlA girakara usake paira pakar3a letI hai / ] lIlA - thor3A rukie / aMdhere se mujhe Dara lagatA hai / vaha mujhe lIlane ko AtA hai / lekina meM abhI Apa ko yahA~ se haTane denA nahIM cAhatI / prArthanA meM kyA thor3I dera bahuta hogI ? kailAza - calo, tuma bhI prArthanA meM calo / lIlA- - jarA dera ruka nahIM sakate ? kailAza - dekho yaha ghar3I / yaha kahatI hai ki calo / isakA kahanA kAla- devatA kA pradeza hai | ( hAtha pakar3akara lIlA ko uThAte ha / ) calo, uTho / [ lIlA cupacApa uThakara sAtha cala detI hai, jaise mantra- baddha ho / sahasA vaha cihu~katI hai, cakita bhItA-sI dekhatI hai / ] lIlA - Apa vahA~ inakAra likha dIjie / kailAza - kahA~, amarIkA ? maiMne likha diyA hai ki vaha jarUra khuzI se yahA~ AveM / lIlA - nahIM nahIM / maiM usa rAha nahIM jAU~gI / kailAza -- ghabarAo nahIM /

Page #17
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [ sAtavA~ bhAga ] lIlA - maiM udhara na jaauuNgii| maiM apane ko modd'eNgii| maiM prArthanA meM zAmila houuNgii| maiM zrAzrama-vAsinI bnuuNgii| unheM zrApa jarUra inakAra likha deM / maiM kleza se kama nahIM hoU~gI / zrApa phaurana inakAra kA tAra de deM / kailAza - ghabarAo nahIM / 12 lIlA - vacana dIjie ki Apa cArlsa ko mujha taka na Ane deMge / mujha se na milane doge / meM unakI nigAha ke nIce bebasa ho jAtI hU~ ! unakI A~kha meM na jAne kyA hai / lekina Apa dekheMge ki maiM klerA se kama nahIM hU~ / kailAza - suno | agara zrAzrama kI banakara grAzrama meM rahanA cAhatI ho, to kala se apane upayukta kAma cuna lo / yaha yAda rakho ki tuma sadA AjAda ho ! apanA zAsana zakti detA hai, dUsare kA zAsana bandhana hai| hama sabako svAdhIna cAhate haiM / isalie kaisA bhI khaTakA tumheM mana meM nahIM rakhanA caahie| merI salAha hai ki kala se koI kAma tuma apane Upara le lo| usase citta sthira hogA / lIlA- -- vacana dIjie Apa cArlsa ko mujha se dUra rakheMge / hRdaya / jaise kailAza - meM dUrI meM vizvAsa nahIM rakhatA / meM pAsa hone meM vizvAsa karatA hU~ / aise pAsa ki eka / maiM tumheM kisI se dUra nahIM, saba ke pAsa dekhanA cAhatA hU~ / usase bhI adhika pAsa jitane unake unakI AtmA / ( kahate hue lIlA ke kandhe para hAtha rakha lete haiM / ) kisase dUrI kI jarUrata hai ? saba eka hai / ghabarAo nhiiN| jo apane ko nivedita kara sakatA hai, vaha Izvara kA AzIrvAda pAtA hai / Iza - kRpA se pApa kSAra ho jAtA hai / ( lIlA zrapane mu~ha ko hAthoM meM chipA letI hai / ) Izvara jisakA sAkSI hai, vaha jaga ke prati nirbhIka banatA hai / Izvara ke prati kAtara, mAnava ke prati nirmama / kyoM ghabarAtI ho ? lIlA - maiM abalA hU~ /

Page #18
TakarAhaTa 13 kailAza-bala basa prabhu hai| usake hAtha meM prabala rahanA hI hamArA lIlA--vacana dIjie ki mujhe apanI zaraNa meM rkheNge| kailAza-hama mAnava dAsa haiN| hama apUrNa haiN| Izvara azaraNazaraNa hai| [lIlA calate-calate eka ucchvAsa ke sAtha dharatI para baiTha jAtI hai|] kailAza-kyoM-kyoM ? kyA huA ? lIlA-( darda bhare svara meM ) kucha nhiiN| mujhe chodd'ie| kailAza-kyA hai ? kahIM darda uTha pAyA hai ? lIlA-hA~, darda kA daurA ho pAtA hai| hokara phira calA jAtA hai / cintA na kiijie| Apa jaaie| [chAtI apanI masosatI hai|] kailAza-purAnA roga hai ? zAyada hRdaya kA roga hai| lIlA-hA~, hRdaya kA rog| kaI barasa se hai / prAha ! [karAha ke sAtha donoM hAthoM se dila ko dabAtI hai / ] kailAza-dekhU, pITha para le sakatA hU~ kyA ? dekho aise... [use uThAne kA prayAsa karate haiM aura batAte haiN|] liilaa---nhiiN| Apa jaaeN| maiM kucha dera meM Apa pahu~ca jaauuNgii| ApakA prArthanA kA samaya A gayA hai| kailAza-hA~, vaha samaya to pA rahA hai| acchA, ( calate hue) meM jAkara kisI ko bhejU ? liilaa-nhiiN| maiM hAtha jor3atI hU~, nhiiN| ___ kailaash-acchaa| prArthanA ke bAda maiM hI A jaauuNgaa| isa bIca tuma ThIka hokara calI Ano to mujhe pIche milnaa| tumhArA yaha roga asAdhya honA caahie|

Page #19
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] [kailAza cale jAte haiN| unake nikala jAne ke bAda lIlA mAthe ko dharatI kI ghAsa para DAla kara chAtI masosatI huI karAhatI huI raha jAtI hai| tIsarA dRzya [kalA kA kamarA / kalA baiThI kucha sI rahI hai| lIlA kA praveza / / kalA-lIlA bahana, tuma ! kyoM, kaise ? lIlA-kucha nahIM / aba mai acchI huuN| kalA-maiM tumhArI tarapha hI Ane kI soca rahI thii| tumheM to abhI calane-phirane se bacanA cAhie ! lIlA-nahIM,aba meM acchI hU~ / kala se phira apanA kAma le luugii| kalA-itanA apane ko thakAmo mata, lIlA ! yA apane se badalA lenA cAhatI ho ? lIlA-aura tuma jo itanA kAma karatI rahatI ho ? kalA-merI aura bAta hai| tuma to sukumAra ho| abhI naI ho| maiM abhyAsI ho gaI huuN| mere mana meM aba kAmanAeM nahIM haiN| tuma kyoM apane ko khotI ho ? ____ lIlA-meM tuma-jaisI kyoM nahIM ho sakatI huuN| tuma bhI kabhI sundarI thiiN| prazaMsakoM se ghirI rahatI thiiN| aba bhI kauna tumhArI Ayu jyAdA hai ? aura yaha kaisI zakala banA lI hai ? kalA-(muskarA kara) bhAgya ! lIlA-bhAgya nahIM / saca batAyo / kalA-aura kyA btaauuN| rAga-raMga meM merA mana nahIM thaa| bahuta bhaTakI, para mAlUma huA jo khojatI thI vaha aura hai| vaha kyA hai ? bhaTaka meM yahAM A lagI to aba jI nahIM hai ki aura bhttk| lIlA-~-kabhI tumheM vilAyata kI z2indagI kI yAda nahIM pAtI ?

Page #20
TakarAhaTa kalA-matalaba, cAha nahIM hotI ? hA~, cAha nahIM hotii| lIlA-kisI taraha kI cAha nahIM hotI ? putra kI cAha, pati kI cAha, premI kI cAha / kalA-nahIM, vaisI to cAha nahIM hotii| lIlA-phira bhI samajhatI ho, tuma strI ho ? kalA-nahIM to kauna hU~ ? lIlA-maiM nahIM jaantii| para tuma strI nahIM ho| saca batAo, kailAza ko tuma prema nahIM karatI ? / kalA-prema se adhika karatI haiN| lIlA-phira yaha kyoM nahIM kahatIM ki tuma jaisI hU~ ? / kalA-aisI kaisI ? lIlA-jaisI maiM / jaisI saba ? kalA-vaisI hI to raha rahI haiM / lIlA bahana, tuma kyA cAhatI ho? lIlA-maiM cAhatI hU~ ki tuma mAna lo ki tuma tapasvinI nahIM ho| cAhatI hU~ ki maiM bhI mAna lU ki tuma vaha nahIM ho, bilakula merI jaisI ho| . kalA-maiM bilakula tumhArI hI jaisI hU~, liilaa| balki tuma se apAtra huuN| idhara to mujhe tumane lajjita kara hI diyA hai| aisI kaThora sAdhanA to... lIlA-maiM jo rAta ko tIna baje uTha kara jAr3e meM tamAma prAzrama / meM jhADU dene lagatI hU~, isako tuma sAdhanA kahatI ho| [ha~satI hai ] " kalA-aura kyA khuuN| dekhatI hU~, tumheM apane tana kI sudha nahIM hai| idhara AzramavAsiyoM ko tumane apane kaThora zrama se moha liyA hai / tumhAre vyavahAra kI miThAsa maiMne aura jagaha nahIM paaii| saba tumhArI prazaMsA karate haiM / phira tuma apane se kyoM nArAja ho ?

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jainendra kI kahAniyAM [sAtavAM bhAga lIlA-tuma nahIM jAnatIM / tuma nahIM jaantiiN| sAdhanA ! [khilakhilA kara ha~satI hai|] kalA-aise na ha~so, lIlA ! tumhArI tabiyata abhI ThIka nahIM hai| lIlA-merI tabiyata to ThIka ho jaaygii| tabiyata DhIlane se bigar3atI hai| kala se phira saphAI kA kAma merA hai aura yaha kAma pau phaTate taka meM nibaTA luugii| kala se TaTTI-ghara sApha karane kA kAma bhI mujhe de do| thor3e kAma se merA jI nahIM bharatA aura roga hAvI hone lagatA hai| kalA-kyA kaha rahI ho ? abhI tIna roja tumheM kisI taraha ke kAma karane kI ijAjata nahIM honI caahie| lIlA, tana se yuddha na ThAno / calo, tumhAre kamare meM cleN| ArAma karanA / ____ lIlA-ArAma se maiM taMga huuN| cAra roja se aura kyA kara rahI huuN| tuma kahatI ho ki rAta ko tIna baje uTha kara jo buhArI lagAne lagI, so bar3A kAma kiyA hai / (ha~satI hai| ) para rAta meM pahara ke pahara jAgate kATanA usase AsAna nahIM hai| taba uThakara karane ko kAma pA jAtI hU~, to caina pA jAtI hU~ / nahIM to...aura tuma kahatI ho, sAdhanA ! [khUba ha~satI hai|] ___ kalA-dekhatI hU~, tumhArI tabiyata kharAba hai| aise bolanA-ha~sanA ' ThIka nhiiN| lIlA-nahIM, tuma cintA na kro| saba ThIka hai| tabiyata merI kharAba nahIM hai| yaha batAo, kalA bahana, tuma ki hama jIte kyoM haiM / tuma kyoM jI rahI ho ? mai kyoM jIU~ ? batAo, maiM kyoM jIU~ ? kalA-tumhAre upavAsa kA Aja tIsarA roja hai, lIlA ! jyAdA bolanA kamajorI laayegaa| lIlA-upavAsa kahA~ hai / saba TUTa gyaa| kailAza bAbU Aye aura

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TakarAhaTa 17 apane hAtha se saMtare kA rasa pilA gye| unake pAge kisI kI haTha calatI hai ! kalA-calo vaha acchA huaa| - lIlA-tuma loga jAne kaisI bAta karatI ho| khuda upavAsa para upavAsa karatI ho, mujhe manA karatI ho / kailAza jarA bAta para anazana rakhate haiM, mujhe eka jUna khAnA nahIM chor3ane dete| dekhatI hU~, tuma loga svArthI ho| mujhe batAyo, kailAza kyA aise haiN| vaha tumhAre kauna haiM ? kalA-kailAza bandhana-mukta AtmA haiM / maiM basa unake prakAza meM cala rahI huuN| lIlA-mAlUma hai, kahA~ calI jA rahI ho ? kalA-kahA~ pahu~cUgI, nahIM mAlUma / cala ThIka rahI hU~ to pahu~cA galata jagaha nahIM jaaygaa| hama to cala hI sakate haiN| patha kA anta to pathika ke hAtha meM nahIM hai| lIlA-tuma cala sakatI ho, kyoMki pAsa prakAza hai| aura calane ke liye jI sakatI ho| mere pAsa prakAza nhiiN| para gati to bhItara bharI hai / savAla hai ki calU to kidhara / a~dhere meM calA to jAtA nahIM, TakarAyA bhara jAtA hai| TakarAte rahane ko maiM kaise jIU~ ? kabhI jI hotA hai ki kahIM jAkara aisI TakarA pa ki TUTakara cuka jAU~ / kalA, mujhe tuma apane prakAza ko de sakatI ho ? . kalA-lIlA bahana, tuma kyA kaha rahI ho| tumhArA citta kaisA hai / calU, kailAza kyA kara rahe haiN| kahU~gI, tumheM dekheN| liilaa-nhiiN-nhiiN| unase mujhe Dara lagatA hai / vaha mujhase aise bAta karate haiM, jaise meM baccI huuN| batAyo kalA, kyA tumheM unakA Dara nahIM lgtaa| kalA-lagatA hai| tabhI to cAhatI hU~, unheM khabara kara duuN| unakI

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18 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga ] tAkIda hai ki tumheM udvigna dekhU to unheM sUcanA de dU~ / mujhe unakI kSamA se aura bhI Dara lagatA hai / vaha kSamA se daNDa dete haiM / [ calanA cAhatI hai / ] lIlA - ( kalA ko rokakara ) nahIM nahIM / mata jaao| maiM udvigna nahIM hU~ / kyA maiMne aba taka saba kAma ThIka nahIM kiyaa| dekhogI abhI bhI vaise hI saba kAma ThIka nibhAU~gI / tuma unheM mere bAre meM yaha mata kahanA ki maiM hAra sakatI hU~ / kalA, vaha mere bAre meM kabhI kucha kahate haiM ? kalA:- tumhArI unheM cintA rahatI hai / vaha kahate haiM ki tuma zAyada yahA~ se jaldI calI jaaogii| kyA aisA tuma socatI ho ? lIlA - meM ? nahIM, vaha mujha e kamajora samajhate haiM, isalie aisA kahate haiM / maiM kyoM jAU~gI ? kalA, tuma yahA~ saba chor3akara raha rahI ho to maiM kyoM nahIM raha sktii| maiM raha sakatI huuN| maiM udhara aba nahIM dekhuuNgii| vaha mujhe ThIka kyoM nahIM samajhate / kalA - meM unheM kahU~gI ki tuma yahA~ hI rahanA cAhatI ho, jAmrogI nahIM / lIlA - hA~, nahIM jAU~gI / kyA vaha cAhate haiM jisase baca sakI usI meM pha~sU ? mujhe jAne kaba avasara milA hai to kyA usako bhI maiM chor3a dU~gI ? kalA, unhoMne mere viSaya meM tumheM kucha aura kahA ? kalA -- nahIM, kucha nahIM kahA / lIlA - kalA ! kalA ! tumane kisI se prema kiyA hai ? kalA -- kyA kaha rahI ho, lIlA ! lIlA - samajha nahIM AtA ki prema ko lekara koI kyA kare / maiM kisI kA prema nahIM cAhatI / meM nIMda cAhatI hU~ / prema meM nIMda nahIM hai / kyA prema meM sukha hai ? kalA-kyA kaha rahI ho !

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TakarAhaTa 19 lIlA-kucha nhiiN| tuma kailAza bAbU ko kucha na khnaa| meM aba jA rahI huuN| merI tabiyata aba ThIka hai| to bhI tumhAre kahane se aba jAkara leTa jaauuNgii| lekina kala se merA saphAI kA kAma pakkA hai| ___ kalA-nahIM, yaha nahIM ho sktaa| abhI tuma kAma ke yogya nahIM ho| lIlA-ho sakatA hai| maiM khuda kailAza bAbU ke pAsa jAkara kaha detI haiM ki maiM aba acchI hU~ aura kala se apanA kAma sa~bhAlatI huuN| basa, tuma isameM kucha na bolnaa| kalA-lIlA ! lIlA-maiM abhI hI jA rahI huuN| mujhe tuma-jaise banane kA adhikAra kyoM nahIM hai| (cala detI hai| ) kalA-abhI jA rahI ho ? abhI to... lIlA-hA~, kahU~gI ki kisane kahA ki maiM ThIka nahIM huuN| kalA--lIlA ! [ lIlA calI jAtI hai| cauthA dRzya lIlA kA kamarA / lIlA AtI hai| usake hAtha meM jhAr3a hai, bAla phaile haiM, cehare para dhUla hai| jhAr3a, eka prora rakha detI hai aura zIzA dekhatI hai| dekhakara prAinA dUra kara detI hai aura pAsa eka ora bAlTI se pAnI lekara muMha dhotI hai / dhokara phira prAinA dekhatI hai| bAla ThIka karatI hai aura phira kapar3e badalanA prArambha karatI hai| isI samaya bAhara dvAra para thapathapAhaTa hotI hai|] lIlA-kauna ? AvAja-maiM caarlii| lIlA-kauna ! ( prasanna hokara sahasA soca meM par3a jAtI hai|)

Page #25
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [ sAtavA~ bhAga ] Thaharo / ( jaldI-jaldI kapar3e ThIka karatI huI daravAje kI ora jAtI hai / pAsa pahu~cakara phira soca meM par3a jAtI hai / ) milane kA samaya yaha nahIM hai / AvAja - maiM cArlI hU~, lilI / ( uttara na pAkara ) mujhe Ane kI ijAjata do | lIlA - abhI nahIM / abhI meM taiyAra bhI nahIM huI / cArlI - Adhe ghaNTe meM phira zrAU~ ? lIlA - acchA / cArlI acchA [ cArlsa ke lauTa jAne kI AvAja pAkara daravAjA kholatI aura lauTate hue cArlsa ko dekhatI hai / cArlsa jAte-jAte ThaharatA hai, kSaNa-ika samanjasa meM rukatA hai aura vApisa lauTa mAtA hai / dekhatA hai, lIlA dvAra khole khar3I hai / lIlA ko samaya nahIM milatA ki daravAjA banda kara de / ] cAlsa - ( pAsa Akara ) meM dera na lU~gA / nibaTa lo, taba aura bAteM hoMgI / lekina mujhe yAda AyA ki tumhArI mA~ kI bImArI kI khabara mujhe denI hai-- lIlA - prAno, andara baiTho / cArlI - yaha samaya andara Akara baiThane kA hai ? lIlA - tuma nArAja ho ? merI mA~ bImAra hai / maiM bImAra hU~ / phira tuma nArAja ho ! cArlI - yaha tuma ko kyA huA hai ! yahA~ kisa jagaha A gaI ho ! apane ko yaha kyA banA DAlA hai ! kabhI AinA bhI dekhatI ho ? mA~ kA kucha hAla-cAla rakhatI ho ? lIlA - maiM kyA karU~ ? cArlsa - calo, ghara calo /

Page #26
TakarAhaTa . lIlAdhara calakara kyA karU~ ? cArlsa-yahA~ rahakara kyA kara rahI ho ? apanA paraloka ThIka kara raho ho ? paraloka ko maiM nahIM jaantaa| lekina isa loka ko bigAr3ane se hI kyA vaha banatA hai, lilI ? lIlA-to mujhe le kyoM nahIM calate ? cArlsa-le cluugaa| usI ke lie AyA huuN| lekina tumhArI tabiyata ko yaha kyA ho gayA hai / aisI kyoM bolatI ho, jaisI tumhArI apanI koI icchA hI nahIM hai| lIlA- yahA~ apanI koI icchA na rakhane kA dharma sikhAyA jAtA hai| cArlsa-tabhI to... lIlA-cArlI, yaha galata nahIM hai| icchAe~ hameM satAtI haiN| hama pahale cAhate haiN| phira usa cAha meM rote haiM / ___ cArlsa-binA icchA ke jInA cAhatI ho ? phira jInA hI kyoM cAhatI ho ? para vaha saba chodd'o| bolo, calogI? mA~ kA sadamA dUra hogaa| apane pIche mA~ ko to mata bhuulo| merI phikra mujhe nhiiN| jindagI tIna-cauthAI to kaTa hI gii| bAkI barasa bhI idhara-udhara bitA duuNgaa| unakI taiyArI karake AyA huuN| pIche kucha nahIM chodd'aa| saba nakada banA kara pAsa kara liyA hai ki jaba jaise cAhe luTA sakU / tuma amarIkA nahIM calatI aura yahA~ hindustAna meM tapasina banakara rahanA cAhatI ho, to vaisA kho| taba maiM bhI parivrAjaka kI taraha DolatA phiruuNgaa| aura dhana kI aisI phulajhar3I jalAU~gA ki bujhane se pahale usakA prakAza tuma bhI sraahogii| ___ lIlA-cArlI, mujhe kSamA kro| tuma kyA cAhate ho ? maiM vaha nahIM hU~ jo tuma samajhate ho| cArlsa-maiM kyA samajhatA hU~ ? lIlA-vivAha cAhate ho ? maiM vivAha ke yogya nahIM huuN| merA...

Page #27
jainendra kI kahAniyAM sAtavA~ bhAga cArlsa-mujhase isa taraha kI bAteM na kro| lIlA-merA tana malina hai| cArlsa-cupa kro| bako mata / maiM deviyoM meM vizvAsa nahIM krtaa| vaha bAta bAra-bAra kaha kara merA apamAna kyoM karatI ho ? maiM bar3A pavitra hU~ na ! lIlA-hAgartha ko tama jAnate ho ? viliyama ko tuma jAnate ho? meM saba tumase kaha cukI huuN| una sabake prati prakRtajJa bhI maiM kaise bana ? cArlI, tuma itane samajhadAra, itane neka-mujha vyabhicAriNI ko tuma dutakAra kyoM nahIM dete / mujhe naraka ke lie chor3a do| vivAha mere lie naraka hai aura tuma-jaisoM kA prema mere lie yAtanA hai| usa prema kA pratidAna mere die diyA jAyagA ? isI se kahatI hU~, cArlI, mujhe isa Azrama kI kaThoratA se alaga na kro| ___ cArlsa-(lIlA kA hAtha pakar3akara) kyA tuma Izvara ke sAmane kaha sakatI ho ki maiM tumhAre lie kucha nahIM hU~, ki meM tumhArA hI nahIM hai ? taba tuma mujhe svIkAra karane se vimukha kaise ho sakatI ho ? lilI, mujhe yahA~ kA saba-kucha amAnavI mAlUma hotA hai / yahA~ eka manuSya hai, vaha kailAza, aura vaha mahAn hai| lekina usakA yaha Azrama to Subhumans kA kArakhAnA hai / calo, yahA~ se clo| maiM tumheM le cluu"gaa| kyA tumheM cAhie ? jo dhana de sakatA hai, vaha maiM de sakatA huuN| hama donoM sAgaroM para bihareMge aura havA meM tireNge| prema kA devatA hama donoM ke sAtha rhegaa| jagat ke saba dhandhe dUra rheNge| mere pAsa bahuta kAphI hai| koI prabhAva pAsa phaTakane na paaygaa| calo, lilI, clo| [ lIlA kA hAtha cUmatA hai, jisa para mAno vaha nIlI par3a pAtI hai| vaha apane hAtha ko eka-dama khIMca letI hai aura bhauMcaka cArlsa / ko dekhatI raha jAtI hai|] cArlsa lilI ! pyArI lilI ! pro merI apanI lilI !

Page #28
TakarAhaTa 3 lIlA-(ekadama alaga khar3I hokara) proH, yaha kyA karate ho ? Azrama hai, yaha pAzrama hai ! yahA~ meM prabhu kI hU~ / kailAza bAbU mujha para vizvAsa karate haiM / cArlI, tumhAre hAtha jor3atI huuN| ___ cArlsa-mujhe mAfa kro| lekina saca tumheM kyA ho gayA hai, lilI ? lIlA-maiM nahIM kahatI maiM yahA~ se nahIM jaauuNgii| lekina jaba taka yahA~ hU~, mujha se dUra rho| maiM tumhAre pairoM par3hatI huuN| (sahasA, stambhita, sAmane dekhatI raha jAtI hai / ) proH ! - cArlsa-kyA huA ? lIlA--(citra-likhI-sI) unhoMne dekhA to nahIM ? cArlsa-kauna ? kisane ? lIlA-kailAza bAbU A rahe haiN| cArlsa-(mur3akara dekhate hue) Ane do| kailAza-(pAsa Akara) lo, tuma donoM yahA~ acche mile / lIlA, inako bhI hindustAnI banAne kA irAdA hai ki nhiiN| cArlI, yaha to TheTha bhAratIya banane kI ThAna cukI mAlUma hotI haiN| kyoM lIlA ? cArlsa-koI apane ko kahA~ taka badala sakatA hai| kailAza- (ha~sakara) yaha to lIlA batalAyagI / yaha bhI ThIka hai ki manuSya apane ko nahIM badala sktaa| vaha prAtma-khaNDa hai| lAkha koziza para bhI kucha aura nahIM ho sktaa| kyoM lilI ? cArlI, tuma Azrama ke aura bhAI-bahanoM se mile ? cArlsa-kucha se milaa| maiM isa sabase sahamata nahIM huuN| Apa yahA~ manuSya kI zakti kama karate haiN| ___ kailAza-(ha~sakara) saMzodhana sujhAie / maiM to sIkhanA cAhatA huuN| mujhe aise hI loga cAhie~ jo jaldI santuSTa na hoM, nirmama Alocaka / lekina abhI to-lIlA, tumhArI darakhvAsta nAmaMjUra hotI hai|

Page #29
24 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] (haisakara) nayA kAma tumheM aura nahIM milegaa| maiMne sifAriza kI hai ki purAnA china jAya / apane se baira ThAnanAM kyoM ? isa bAra bAhara jAU~gA to tuma sAtha calanA cAhogI ? cArlsa-lekina yaha to yahA~ rahanA nahIM caahtiiN| kailAza-yaha bAta hai ! taba to saba ThIka hai / tuma kaho, jii| lIlA~yaha khabara dete haiM ki merI mAM jyAdA bImAra haiN| mere akelI vahIM haiN| Apa kahate haiM na ki mujhe jAnA cAhie ? kailAza-tumhAre do bhAI bhI to haiM na / kyA ve sevA meM nahIM haiM ? agara vahA~ vyavasthA ThIka ho to tumhArA vahA~ jAnA baca bhI sakatA hai| vaise zAyada yaha jagaha tumhAre lie ThIka nahIM hai / yahA~ tumhIM dekho, kyA hai ? cArlsa-kyA meM anumAna karUM ki Apa inheM jAne se rokanA cAhate haiM ? kailAza-nahIM / balki cAhatA hUM ki yaha apane deza jAveM / pAzramajIvana to koI cAhe saba jagaha sAtha raha sakatA hai| ghara kyA pAzrama nahIM hai ? kyoM lIlA ? jAne meM jhijhakatI ho ? lIlA-maiM phira A jaauuNgii| mA~ ke acche hone para A jaauuNgii| kailAza-jaba cAhe aaro| saMskRta kA vAkya yAda hai na-vasudhA hI hamArA kuTumba ho / tuma hama sabako kuMTumba jaisA mAno taba to bAta hai| mAna sakogI ? kyA amarIkA, kyA hindustAna, saba paramAtmA kI goda hai| lIlA meM mAM ko dekhane ke lie jA rahI huuN| kailAza-jomo z2arUra / para yaha to kAfI kAraNa nahIM hai / kyoM cArlI, tumhAre rahate kyA maiM inako yakIna nahIM dilA sakatA ki inakI mAM ko koI khatarA nahIM hai|

Page #30
TakarAhaTa cArlsa-maiM abhI mumakina hai bhramaNa para aura Age nikala jaauuN| abhI pUrva kI vicitratAe~ kAfI dekhanA bAkI haiM / ____ kailAza-(gambhIra vANI meM) kyA Apa yAda dilAnA cAhate haiM ki vaha ApakI to mA~ nahIM haiM, aura inakI haiN| lekina yaha to Apake lihAz2a se koI bar3A antara nahIM honA caahie| cArlsa--ApakA Azaya... kailAza-lIlA abhI svastha nahIM hai| mAM ke svAsthya-lAbha meM kyA vaha vizeSa sahAyatA pahu~cA sakegI? aise samaya Apa kahane Aye haiM ki vahA~ mA~ jyAdA bImAra haiN| yaha ThIka hai| lekina isa sUcanA se use kaSTa pahu~cAne ke sAtha kyA Apa yaha AzvAsana bhI nahIM de sakate ki use cintA karane kI AvazyakatA nahIM hai| maiM samajhatA hU~ Apa lIlA kI asvasthAvasthA meM use daNDa nahIM denA cAhate / merI salAha hogI ki Apa havAI jahAz2a se vApisa lauTa jAveM aura vahA~ se khabara deM ki mA~ ThIka ho rahI haiN| ___cArlsa-prApakI dhvani se mAlUma hotA hai ki Apa bhUlate haiM ki maiM Azrama-vAsI nahIM huuN| __ kailAza-mujhe kSamA kareM / lekina meM anumAna karatA hU~ ki isa lar3akI ke svAsthya ko prApako cintA honI caahie| usakA citta svastha nahIM hai / acchA ho ki vaha Apake sAtha calI jaave| lekina mA~ kI cintAkulatA ke kAraNa jAnA svAsthya ke lie ThIka na hogaa| taba kyA yaha upAya nahIM hai ki Apa havAI jahAz2a se vApisa cale jAveM tAki unheM dilAsA ho / kyA Apa inheM itanA prema nahIM karate ? cArlsa-lekina maiM inheM yahA~ isa pAgaloM kI bastI meM nahIM chor3a sktaa| kailAza-hA~, yaha to ThIka hai| lekina jAnA ho to merI salAha hai

Page #31
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA bhAga] ki samudra se nahIM, havA se jaano| samaya kI bacata hogI aura paisA... cArlsa-unakI fikra nahIM hai| __ kailAza-hA~, paise kI fikra na honI caahie| lIlA, yaha khuzI hai ki yaha taya hai, tuma aba jA rahI ho / yahA~ ke loga ekadama to nahIM, lekina hA~ thor3e-thor3e pAgala z2arUra hoMge / para phira bhI tuma unako yAda rakha sakatI ho / aba maiM cluu| lIlA-to ApakI ijAz2ata hai ? kailAza-(ha~sakara) z2arUra ijAjata hai / lIlA-(ekAeka) lekina kyA maiM yaha taya nahIM kara sakatI ki maiM na jAU~ ? kailAza-usakI bhI ijAjata hai| lIlA-to maiM nahIM jaauuNgii| kailAza-soca dekho| [ kailAza cale jAte haiM / lIlA kucha dera unheM jAte hue dekhatI rahatI hai| projhala hone para donoM hAthoM se muMha ko Dhaka letI hai aura subakane lagatI hai| phira vaha sira ko ghuTano para DAlakara avaza ho rahatI hai|] cArlsa-lilI ! lilI ! [usake kamara meM hAtha DAlatA hai|] lIlA-haTa jaano| mujha se na bolo| o, Izvara, maiM kyA karU~ ? cArlsa-lilI, DIyara, calo, yahA~ se clo| lIlA-(muha uThAkara) mujhe kyoM mAra rahe ho ? mujhe jabardastI uThAkara kyoM yahA~ se ekadama bhagA nahIM le calate ho ? maiM yahA~ rhuuNgii| mara jAU~gI, para apane pApa nahIM jA sktii| tumase itanA bhI nahIM hotA ki balAtkAra karo aura mujhe le jaano| mujhase tumheM itanA Dara lagatA hai ? kahatI hU~, le jAyo / nahIM to maiM kho jaauuNgii|

Page #32
TakarAhaTa cArlsa-calogI ? lIlA-tumako zarma nahIM AtI ki pUchate ho, calogI ? maiM calane na calanevAlI koI nahIM hotii| jAmo, haTa jAno mere sAmane se / [cArlsa avaza bhAva se baiThakara usako donoM kaMdhoM se pakar3a kara ____thAmatA hai ] cArlsa-maiM z2arUra tumheM yahA~ se le calUgA / lilI ! lilI !! [ lIlA ekaTaka sAmane dekhatI raha jAtI hai / mAno gUMgI ho aura prAMkheM patharA gaI hoN|

Page #33
rAjIva aura bhAbhI rAjIva ko nAma se Apa na jAnate hoM, yaha kaThina hai-jI hA~, zilpI rAjIva hI / usake sAtha, koI bIsa varSa hue, eka holI ke dina kyA aghaTanIya ghaTita humA, so Aja sunAne kI chuTTI huI hai| Aja to vaha bahuta bar3A AdamI karake jAnA jAtA hai| bar3e prAdamI se avazya bhAva yaha nahIM ki deha usakI saMkSipta nahIM hai| dubalA to vaha aba bhI sadA kI bhAMti hai / lekina aba jo sampannatA usako cAroM ora se U~cA uThAe hai, vaha na thii| naI giristI usakI huI thI, aura taba mA~ bhI thii| jaise-taise apane ko aura unako pAlatA thaa| bIsa-bAIsa varSa kI avasthA meM manuSya kI AkAMkSAe~ svapnila hotI hai / unako paravariza mile to vaha panapeM, nahIM to sUkhakara murajhA jAtI haiM, aura yauvana bItate-bItate AdamI apane ko cukA huA anubhava karatA hai / ve AkAMkSAe~ sneha mAMgatI haiN| sneha anukUla samaya para aura yathAnupAta mile to ve harI-bharI hokara kaise-kaise phUla na khilA pAe~, kahA nahIM jA sakatA / nahIM to ve apane ko hI khAtI-cukAtI rahatI haiN| mUla jinakI dRr3ha hoM, aisI prakRtiyA~ virodha meM se bhI rasa khIMcatI haiM, avazya; aura ve mAno cunautI-pUrvaka bar3hatI rahatI haiN| para isa zakti ko pratibhA kahA jAtA hai; aura pratibhA sarala nahIM hai, vaha to virala hI hai| 28

Page #34
26 rAjIva aura bhAbhI kahanA kaThina hai ki rAjIva meM pratibhA kI zakti kitanI thii| kintu jaba usameM atIva bhUla thI ki koI use pUche, taba vaha nirA akelA apane ko pAtA thA / duniyA kI nigAha bAjAra kI ora thI, bhalA rAjIva meM kyA usakA aTakA thA ? basa mA~ usakI thI, jo ghara kA kAja-dhandhA karatI thii| patnI taba nahIM AI thii| eka roz2a mA~ kI tabIyata kucha kharAba thii| vaha roTI nahIM banA sakatI thIM / so roTI banAI, saba kAma kiyA, aura rAjIva naukarI khojane ke lie nikala gyaa| lauTakara A sakA kahIM zAma ko| hArAthakA thA, aura bhUkhA thaa| ki sustA kara jaba cUlhe para kucha car3hAne ke vicAra se cauke meM vaha gayA to dekhatA hai, ki vahA~ to kaI bhA~ti ke ujjvala bartanoM meM pakkA khAnA rakhA huA hai ! rAjIva ne pUchA, "mA~, tumane khAnA banAyA hai ?" mA~ ne kahA, "nahIM to beTA, bahU-rAnI ne bheja diyA hai|" mA~ se kaI bAra rAjIva ne bahU rAnI kA jikra sunA hai / yaha havelI unakI hI hai / aura bhI jAyadAda hai / vaha bar3I dayAvanta haiN| rAjIva kI naukarI lagane ke bAre meM aksara pUchatI rahatI haiN| havelI kA thor3A-sA hissA rAjIva aura rAjIva kI mAM ko uThA diyA hai, bAkI Upara vaha khuda rahatI haiM / do bacce haiM, jo unheM bhAbhI kahate haiM / kabhI-kabhI moTara meM unheM jAte rAjIva ne dekhA hai| isa ghara meM bhI kabhI-kabhAka vaha dIkha gaI haiN| z2arA deha se sthUla haiM, lekina ha~sane vAlI bar3I haiN| mana kI to bahuta hI acchI haiN| aura rUpa kI-( lekina, vahA~ to vaha andAz2a se hI kAma letA hai, kyoMki ThIka taraha usane koI unheM dekhA thor3e hI hai )-rUpa kI to vaha sarvathA devI hI haiM, aisA suzrI mukha hai| ___rAjIva ne kahA, "mA~, tumane kaha na diyA ki rajjo pAkara khuda banA legaa| vaha kyoM takalIfa karatI haiM ?"

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Page #36
rAjIva aura bhAbhI 31 isase kyA use chor3a diyA jAya ? bhAbhI aisI kyA pasta- himmata haiM ? hA~-hA~, rAjIva- sAhaba bar3e hI bujurga, bar3e hI sajjana haiM, lallo patto bhI jAnate haiM / lekina yoM bacane se durgati dugunI hogI, jAna lIjiegA / kyoMki holI holI hai aura bhAbhI bhI bhAbhI hai / usa varSa rAjIva kI khAsI marammata huI / aura to aura, usakI navelI patnI bhI bhAbhI ke SaDyantra meM zAmila ho gaI / taba rAjIva ne bhI kamara se sAhasa bA~dhakara bacAva meM thor3A kucha Udhama kiyA karAyA / usa roz2a khula par3I huI zrAnanda kI bayAra ne rAjIva kI jIvana- naukA ke pAloM ko aisA bharapUra bhara diyA ki vaha ur3atI hI calI gaI / vaha tamAma saMvatsara taira gayA ho, mAno aise nikala gayA / isa varSa rAjIva kI paristhiti bhI khUba sudhara AI, mA~ga bar3ha uThI aura usakI pahu~ca U~cAiyoM meM hone lagI / isI taraha kaI varSa nikalate gae / jisa holI kI bAta kahane cale haiM, usake lie taya pA gayA thA ki bhAbhIjI bar3I tamIz2adAra haiM aura bar3I acchI haiM, so rAjIva ko mAfa hI rakheMgI / taya to pA gayA thA, kintu holI se do roz2a pahale bAta-bAta meM jaba ajIba gambhIratA se bhAbhI ne kahA, "dekho, unheM acchA nahIM lagatA / ora kunabe meM eka gamI bhI ho gaI hai / abake kucha daMgA mata macAnA / " taba anAyAsa rAjIva kaha uThA, "yaha bAta hai !" bhAbhI ne kahA, "nahIM bhAI, maiM hAtha jor3atI hU~, isa bAra ghara meM raMgavaMga kucha bhI na hogA / " rAjIva ne kahA, "maiM to DAlU~gA / " prati vinIta hokara bhAbhI ne kahA, "tumhAre hAtha jor3atI hU~, rAjIva ! aba gamI ho gaI hai / maiM nahIM to kabhI aisA kahatI hU~ ?" 1 rAjIva bhAbhI ke isa anunIta bhAva para mana-hI-mana zaMkita aura

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rAjIva aura bhAbhI 33 vizaJca Upara baiThe-baiThe muskarAe hoNge| kahate hoMge -- 'dekho lar3ake kI bAta ! are, hama phira kucha Thahare hI nahIM ! jo ye duniyA ke chokare hameM binA vUjhe saba karane lageMge, to ho liyA kAma / ' aura unhoMne usa samaya kautukapUrvaka proThoM hI moThoM meM kahA hogA - acchI bAta hai, ciraMjIva rAjIva ! to lo, krIr3A dekho / ' moTara savA nau para AtI, rAjIva kyA dekhatA hai ki usase pahale hI cale A rahe haiM- - DAkTara sItAzaraNa / gulAla se muha ra~gA hai, aura kapar3e tarabatara haiM / rAjIva ne kahA, "kyA hAla hai DAkTara sAhaba ?" DAkTara ne batAyA ki ye bAlaka bar3I balA hote haiM / dekhate to ho ki kyA gati banA dI hai| ghara se acchA bhalA calA thA, yahA~ zrAte taka khAsA laMgUra ho gayA hU~ / usake bAda DAkTara ne pUchA ki yaha kyA hai ? kyoM hai ? kyA akelA hai ? zrImatI kahA~ haiM ? chuTTI huii| rAjIva ghara meM banda chor3a gaI ? - calo rAjIva ne kahA ki nahIM, aisI zocanIya paristhiti nahIM hai / phira bhI mAyake gaI haiN| tabhI to vaha jarA caina se dikhAI detA hai / usa samaya jeba meM se DAkTara ne cupake se raMgIna pAnI se bharI eka zIzI khiiNcii| rAjIva ne kintu dekha liyA, kahA, "heM - heM DAkTara ! mujhe pArTI meM jAnA hai / " 'Daro mata, ' DAkTara ne kahA, "yaha jAdU kA raMga hai" aura rAjIva ke bahuterA kahate-kahate aura bhAgate-bacate DAkTara ne usake ujale kapar3oM para raMga chir3aka hI diyA aura muhaM para jarA gulAla bhI mala diyA / "ghabarAo nahIM rAjIva, dekho raMga abhI g2Ayaba ho jAyagA / " aura sacamuca pAnI sUkhate - sUkhate kapar3e para jarA bhI raMga kA dhabbA nahIM rahA /

Page #39
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] rAjIva apratyAzita bhAva se kaha uThA, "yaha to bahuta ThIka bAta hai| DAkTara aisA aura raMga tumhAre pAsa hai ?" DAkTara ne kahA, "jitanA cAho" aura jeba meM se ATha-dasa pur3iyoM kA baNDala-sA nikAla kara sAmane rakha diyA ! "prAdhA-pAva gunagune pAnI meM eka pur3iyA DAla do, basa, raMga taiyAra / kaI raMga kI pur3iyA haiM / " anAyAsa rAjIva ne pA~ca-sAta pur3iyA~ uThA lIM, aura utanI hI zIziyA~ nikAla kara, usane jAdU kA raMga taiyAra kara liyaa| aura tvarAgrasta ho usane kahA, "dekhanA DAkTara, kyA bajA hai ?" ____ "sAr3he-nI hone vAle haiM, pA~ca-sAta minaTa haiN| acchA, meM cluu|" aura DAkTara cale ge| ___taba muha kA gulAla, dhokara sApha kiyA, zIzA dekhA, bAla z2arA ThIka kie aura zIziyA~ hoziyArI se jeba meM saMbhAlI / aura rAjIva lapaka kara calA Upara / cupa hI cApa pahu~cA / dekhA, bhAbhI befikarI ke sAtha andara ke kamare meM pAna banA rahI haiM, aura eka TraMka khulA par3A hai| acaka, paira rakhatA-rakhatA bhAbhI ke pIche vaha pahu~cA aura pahu~cate-pahuMcate tIna-cAra zIziyoM ke muMha khola kara eka sAtha kaI raMga bhAbhI kI sAr3I para chir3aka die| bhAbhI eka sAtha cauMka kara mur3I, dekhA, rAjIva ! vaha pahale to zAyada muskarAne ko huIM / rAjIva ko aisA bhI lagA ki kahIM hoziyArI se jhapaTa kara usake hAtha se zIzI hI ur3A lene vAlI to yaha nahIM ho rahI haiM ! kintu tatkSaNa phIkI aura cintita par3a kara unhoMne kahA, "nahIM jI, yaha hameM acchA nahIM lgtaa|" rAjIva sAmane ha~satA huA khar3A rhaa| usakA manasUbA thA ki gulAla kI bhI eka rekha bhAbhI ke mAthe para lagAyagA, para kahane ko vaha ha~satA rahA, lekina mana usakA jaise eka sAtha ba~dhakara khar3A ho gayA thaa|

Page #40
rAjIva aura bhAbhI 35 bhItara-bhItara jaise use paritApa ho rahA thA, bhAbhI ke mukha para aisI kucha vyathA kI chAyA thii| "nahIM-nahIM' bhAbhI ne kahA, "hameM yaha bilkula acchA nahIM lagatA hai / tuma jaao|" rAjIva ne kahA, "bhAbhI, yaha jAdU kA raMga hai / abhI ur3a jaaygaa|" bhAbhI ne kahA, "nahIM, tuma jaano|" apanI svaccha kamIz2a kA pallA Age pakar3akara rAjIva ne kahA, "yaha dekho" aura usa palle para thor3A-sA raMga chir3aka liyaa| "dekho, tumhAre sAmane-sAmane yaha ur3a jAtA hai yA nhiiN|" sacamuca, raMga to nAma ke dhabbe taka ko vahA~ na rahA / rAjIva Azvasta bhAva se hNsaa| bhAbhI ne kahA, "nahIM, nahIM, tuma jaano|" rAjIva bolA, "bhAbhI !" bhAbhI ne anunIta hokara kahA, "hamAre yahA~ gamI ho gaI hai| nahIMnahIM, tuma jAno / " ___ rAjIva jisa utsAha ko lekara yahA~ AyA thA vaha to aba use bilkula chor3a hI calA / usane kahA, "bhAbhI, isa raMga se kapar3e bilkUla kharAba nahIM hoNge|" bhAbhI ne cupacApa muha pherakara pAna lagAnA zurU kara diyaa| phira mur3akara pAna kI taha kara use dete hue kahA, "yaha pAna lo rAjIva, aura tuma jAno, dekho|" bhAbhI kI vANI meM kucha vaha bAta thI, jisakA rAjIva to ullaMghana jIte jI kabhI kara hI na sakatA thaa| usane kahA, "jAU~ ?" "hA~, jaao|" "to, lo, yaha zIziyA~ / maiM inakA kyA karU~gA ?"-rAjIva ne khinna bhAva se hAtha phailAkara unheM Age kiyaa|

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavAM bhAga] binA kucha kahe zUnya-bhAva se bhAbhI ne bhI hAtha bar3hAkara unheM le liyaa| rAjIva taba mauna khar3A raha gyaa| bhAbhI bhI kucha nahIM boliiN| usI samaya jora-z2ora se bajate hue moTara ke horna kI. AvAz2a aaii| rAjIva ne kahA, "acchA bhAbhI" aura jhaTapaTa jhukakara khar3I huI bhAbhI ke carana chUkara vaha jaldI-jaldI lauTa paayaa| Akara baiThaka kA daravAjA khola, bAhara barAmade meM jo gayA ki dekhatA hai, moTara meM svayaM lA0 zivazaMkaralAla baiThe haiN| zivazaMkara ne dekhate hI kahA, "kyA banA rahe ho, rAjIva ! calo n|" rAjIva ne kahA, "basa, A hI rahA huuN| do miniTa / " aura andara jAkara jhapaTakara bA~hoM meM koTa DAlA, patalUna car3hAI, TAI ko khulA hI laTakane diyA, haiTa rakhA, char3I thAmI, baiThaka ke kivAr3a die, moje aura usa para bUTa pahanA aura sahana se hokara makAna kI Dyor3hI kI ora lpkaa| ___ sahana pAra kara rahA hI thA, eka sAtha bAlTI-bhara garama raMgIna pAnI Upara se aina usake sira para Akara par3A, aina sira para ! usakI coTa se haiTa nIce A rahA, kapAla bhIga gayA aura kapar3e saba kharAba ho gae ! kintu usa samaya rAjIva kA jI phUla-sA khila aayaa| jaise vaha isa bhA~ti nahAkara dhanya ho utthaa| usane bigar3akara dhamakI ke svara meM kahA, "yaha kauna hai ? dIkhatA nahIM hai ki koI bhalA AdamI kahA~ jA rahA hai !" isake uttara meM bar3I z2ora se khilakhilAne kI dhvani rAjIva ke kAnoM meM pdd'ii| "hA~-A~ ?" aura z2ora se bUToM ko sahana ke farza para paTakatA huA vaha usI muha apane kamare meM lauTakara AyA, dhotI pahanI, pairoM meM cappala DAlI, aura baiThaka ke kivAr3a khola sAmane barAmade meM aayaa|

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rAjIva aura bhAbhI vahA~ use dekhate hI moTara meM se zivazaMkara ne kahA, "ajaba AdamI ho / aba taka cala hI rahe ho ! aise caloge ?" rAjIva ne barAmade ke nIce sar3aka para Akara kahA, "aba nahIM cala skuuNgaa|" "kyoM ?" "yaha aurata-jAta bar3I kharAba hai jii| maiM to abhI bAz2Ara se pakkA raMga lekara pAtA hU~ !...hA~, calo tumhArI moTara meM cluu|" zivazaMkara ne kahA, "kyoM, to sAtha nahIM caloge ?" / "sAtha calUgA ? dekhate to ho, yaha sira kA hAla / bAjAra se raMga lAkara isa sira kI aba marahama-paTTI karanI hogii|" bAz2Ara pAne para rAjIva vAstava meM hI moTara se utara gyaa| mAne na mAnA / itane meM hI use sAmane se Ate dikhAI die, bhAI-sAhaba, yAnI jinako bhAbhI ke nAte rAjIva jAnatA thaa| ha~sate hue A rahe the kapar3e unake bhI raMga-biraMge ho rahe the, hAtha meM rUmAla meM phala laTake the, eka ora se seMdha banAkara do coila kakar3iyA~ nikala rahI thIM aura bhItara se laukATa ujhaka rahe the| pUcha uThe, "kahie, kahA~ ?" rAjIva ne kahA, "kucha nahIM, yoM hii|" "moTara meM ye kauna the ?" rAjIva ne kahA, "lAlA zivazaMkaralAla the|" "acchA ?" aura 'acchA' kahakara bhAI-sAhaba Age bar3ha ge| rAjIva kA utsAha haThAt kucha manda huaa| phira bhI jaise eka mada savAra thaa| dukAna se kaI taraha ke raMga lie, ghara Akara unheM gholA aura loTA bharakara pahuMcA vahIM Upara / bhAbhI kA choTA bAlaka, jisakA nAma par3A thA-choTe, aura jo bar3A

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] khoTA thA, chajje para khar3A thaa| rAjIva ko car3hate dekha, vahIM se bolA, 'bhAbhI, yo bhAbhI, cAcA pA rahe haiM !" aura, paryApta-kAyA bhAbhI, yaha sunate hI, saba kAma chor3a phurtI se bhAga chuuttii| bhAgakara bhItara ke kamare meM bhAga gaI / jaldI meM kintu usake paTa ThIka taraha se unase banda nahIM hue aura vaha hAtha ke z2ora se unheM banda kie hue unake pIche DaTI khar3I ho gaI ! rAjIva Upara AyA taba usI khoTe choTe ne izAre se batAyA ki bhAbhI hA~, usa pIche vAle kamare meM haiN| udhara ko bar3hatA hI thA ki jora kI DapaTa kI AvAz2a AI, "kyA hai ?" AvAz2a kama kAfI na thI, usa para svayaM bhAI-sAhaba bhI sAmane Ae / ajaba DA~Ta unakI mudrA meM thii| bole, "kyA hai ?" rAjIva ne koTharI kI ora bar3hate hue hI kahA ki kucha nhiiN| - "kucha hai bhI ?"-aura bhI z2ora se bhAI-sAhaba ne khaa| ____ "raMga kA loTA hai|" rAjIva ne dhIme se khaa| kahakara bhAI-sAhaba ke dekhate-dekhate vaha koTharI kI ora bar3hA aura loTe ko bAe~ hAtha meM lekara dAe~ hAtha se usane kivAr3oM meM jA dhakkA diyA ! bhAbhI ne pUrA jora lagAkara kivAr3a banda rakhe / bhAI-sAhaba ne cillAkara kahA, "rAjIva !" / rAjIva ne kahA, "raMga to hama ddaaleNge|" aura kivAr3a meM dUsarA dhakkA diyaa| kamare ke pIche se chajje-chajje eka dUsare makAna meM jAyA jA sakatA hai| vahA~ eka sad-gRhastha rahate haiN| AryasamAja ke vaha eka utsAhI sadasya haiM aura relave ke hisAba-daphtara meM kAma karate haiN| citrakalA ke prazaMsaka aura pArakhI haiN| rAjIva ke ekAdha citroM meM bhI unhoMne DrAiMga kA ThIka honA svIkAra kiyA hai| unakI dRSTi meM rAjIva, hA~, honahAra ho bhI sakatA hai / una sajjana kI avasthA tIsa-battIsa hogii| para bujurgI

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rAjIva aura bhAbhI una para kaccI nahIM baitthtii| vaha cazmA lagAte haiM, aura pA~ca unake lar3ake haiN| bhAI sAhaba ke hitaiSI haiN| yaha sajjana jyoM-jyoM sosAyaTI meM rAjIva kI kalA kI bar3AI suna lete, tyoM-tyoM usake prazaMsaka honA svIkAra karate haiN| kintu rAjIva ke raMga-DhaMga kucha unheM acche nahIM lagate / usake svabhAva ke sAtha jo eka prakAra kA khulApana hai, usase ina sajjana ke citta meM Apatti banI rahatI hai ki rAjIva ko praur3ha hone kI AvazyakatA hai, vaha jimmedAra AdamI nahIM hai| jaba bhAbhI ne pAyA ki kibAr3a 'aba khule aura aba khule !' taba sahasA unheM chor3akara pIche kI ora vaha bhAga khar3I huii| basa, chajje para se dUsare ghara meM calI jaaeNgii| taba tAkA kareM rAjIva bAbU; hA~, to Ae haiM bar3e... kintu chajje kA ikapaTA kholA hI thA ki sAmane par3e vahI zuddha Arya sad-gRhastha sajjana ! vaha kursI para idhara hI dekhate hue baiThe haiM, hAtha meM kitAba hai / bhAbhI ne eka-dama lambA ghUghaTa khIMca liyaa| vaha ThiThakI aura kAThamArI-sI raha gaI / chi-chi:, vaha vahA~ gar3a hI kyoM na jA skii| sajjana ne sAvadhAnatApUrvaka evaM miThAsa ke sAtha kahA, "proha, seThAnI jI haiM !" tabhI pIche se rAjIva kI AvAz2a bhAbhI ke kAnoM meM par3I, "aba kahA~ jAmogI, bhAbhI !" rAjIva bar3hatA huA pAsa hI A gayA / bhAbhI ko saba sUjhanA banda ho gyaa| vaha mAno kA~pane lgiiN| rAjIva vijaya-garva meM bolA, "aba kho|" hAya-hAya, aba kyA hogA ! rAjIva jItegA ? jItegA ? majhase jItegA ? acchA !...bhAbhI ko prAMva dIkhA na tAva, vaha sAmane kI ora bhAga khar3I huI ! kursI para baiThe bAbU se chUtI huI, unakI rasoI meM se

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga bhAgatIM, dAlAna pAra karatIM, phaile sAmAna ko phA~da, usa ghara ke chajje meM se ho, jIne car3ha, hAMphatIM aura phalAMgatIM, vaha, jA pahu~cI usa ghara kI chata para / pahu~cakara jhaTa apane pIche paTa banda kara die aura una para kuNDI car3hA dii| phira usa nirjana tapatI chata para, akelI, kar3I ghAma meM, patthara para sA~sa letI huI baiTha gii| unheM caina par3A ki aba chakAyA rAjIva ko| kintu isa caina ke paga-bhara pIche se unake citta meM A baiThA unakI sthiti kI viSamatA kA bodha, jo unako samUcA hI mAno nigala jAne lagA / taba vaha bar3I glAni aura bar3A trAsa bhI anubhava karane lgiiN| bhAbhI bhAgIM to hAtha meM loTA lie pIche-pIche calA rAjIva ! sAmane par3e vahI baabuujii| unhoMne sAtvika jhir3akI ke sAtha TokA, "yaha kyA hai, rAjIva ?" rAjIva binA usa ora dhyAna die Age bddh'aa| bar3hA, ki tabhI ThiThaka kara bhI raha gyaa| Age to eka aparicitta mahilA ( bAbUjI kI dharmapatnI ) apane cauke meM haiM ! usake paira jaise ba~dhe raha ge| usa ghara meM aura kaI vayaHprApta lar3ake-lar3akiyA~ thiiN| sabako isa nae Udhama para bar3A kautuka laga rahA thaa| kabhI ve una bhAbhI ko dekhate, jinake lie unake mana meM bar3A sambhrama thA / ve to AsapAsa saba logoM ke manoM meM seThAnIjI ke rUpa meM hI aMkita thIM, sambhrAnta aura aadrnniiy| saba kI nigAhoM meM vaha to ativiziSTa hI thiiN| taba phira yaha kyA hai ? aura kabhI ve isa rAjIva ko dekhate, isa nigAha se ki kutUhala to unheM hai, para jaise ve jAnanA cAhate haiM ki yaha hai kauna AdamI ! bAbUjI ne kahA, "It is not decent, Sir." rAjIva kA mana bhItara-hI-bhItara use kATa-kATakara kahane lagA, "It is abomina ble, Sir / isase bhI tIkhe vizeSaNa use apane

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41 rAjIva aura bhAbhI lie upayukta mAlUma hone lage / kintu vaha hAtha meM raMga kA loTA liye khar3A hI raha gayA, uttara meM kucha bhI na kaha skaa| kintu lar3akiyA~ ! mAnA, ve balA haiM; kintu duniyA meM kyA unase hAranA hogA ? bhAbhI ke Asa-pAsa se ( kyoMki bhAbhI kI dhvani bhI unameM use cInha par3atI thI ) apane parAjaya para khilakhila ha~sI jAtI huI sunI, una kalakaMThiniyoM kI vyaMga kI ha~sI, mAno ki lalakAra ho / usane use DaMka mAra kara cetA diyaa| abalA kI ora se sabala ko cunautI ?-to acchA !... rAjIva bhI taba usI bhAMti cauke ko, dAlAna ko, aura chajje ko lA~ghatA huA kucha hI chalA~goM meM jA car3hA jIne para ! jIne ke chora para pAyA mArga avaruddha aura dvAra banda / usane jhaTaka kara dvAra kholaa| kintu ve to virodha meM kucha svara karake bhir3e hI raha ge| isa para usake kAnoM para bajI dhAradAra phira bhI saMgIta-sI komala kaI kaNThoM kI kala-kala ha~sI kI dhvani ! . usane kahA, "acchA bhAbhI, kabhI to utrogii|" kahakara thor3I dera vahIM khar3A rahA / phira nIce utara pAkara chajje para A khar3A ho gayA / do- ka minaTa pratIkSA meM khar3e rahane para usane sunA, Upara lohe ke jAla para jhukI bhAbhI kaha rahI haiM, "raMga DAloge ?" "hA~, ddaaluugaa|" "to maiM nahIM utruuNgii|" "mata utro|" thor3I dera meM bhAbhI ne kahA, "kaba taka khar3e rahoge ?" rAjIva ne kahA, "aura tuma kaba taka vahA~ rahogI ?" bhAbhI ne kahA, "acchI bAta hai !" rAjIva ne bhI kahA, "acchI bAta hai !"

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] _____ idhara yaha thA, udhara bAbUjI ne bhAI-sAhaba se kahA, "Apane bahuta DhIla de rakhI hai, lAlAjI !" vAstava meM bhAI-sAhaba meM bhAbhIjI ke prati atIva prema hai| vaha prema Adara taka pahu~ca gayA hai| ghara kI ora se jo bhAI-sAhaba sadA sarvathA nizzaMka rahe haiM, yaha saba bhAbhIjI ke bharose hI to| kintu vahI unakI patnI AdarAspada se kucha aura hoM, yahA~ taka ki logoM ke kautuka aura kutUhala kI viSaya hoM, yaha ekadama unake citta ko durvisahya jAna par3atA hai| aura yaha vyakti, rAjIva ! moha, isa sthala para to unheM apanApati kA-evaM pati nAmaka saMsthA kA ati dussaha asammAna hI hotA huaA jAna par3atA hai| prabhutA ke prati aisA aparAdha ! strI kI aora se aisI avajJA, aisI avagaNanA ! chi:-chi: ! bhAI-sAhaba ne jora se pUchA, "vaha kahA~ hai ?" bAbU ne pUchA, "kona ?" 'kauna ?' eka hI prazna meM usakI patnI ke sAtha koI dUsarA bhI A sakatA hai, jise prazna karake alaga chA~TanA hogA-'kauna ?' isa bAta para . bhAI-sAhaba ko atiroSa huA / unhoMne z2ora se kahA, "kauna kyA hotA hai, bAbU ?" bAbU isa prazna para asamanjasa meM raha gae, aura bhAI-sAhaba dhar3adhar3Ate hue Age bar3ha gae / chajje para pahu~cakara rAjIva ko dekhakara dRr3ha svara meM unhoMne pUchA, "vaha kahA~ hai ?" "Upara haiN|" saba sannATA thaa| mAno jo honahAra hai, usakI aba pratIkSA hI karate banegI, aura kucha na ho sakegA / aura bhAI-sAhaba hI vahA~ yugayugAnumodita patitva ke svatva-rakSaka kI bhA~ti khar3e the| -bhAI-sAhaba ne Upara kI ora DapaTa ke sAtha kahA, "calo, nIce clo|"

Page #48
rAjIva aura bhAbhI 43 saba sunna / "sunatI ho ? calo, nIce aayo|" ekadama sunn| "sunA nahIM jAtA hai, ki mujhe aura cillAnA hogaa|" thor3I dera meM DaratI-DaratI AvAz2a meM eka lar3akI ne kahA, "yoM kahatI haiM ki unheM haTA do|" __bhAI-sAhaba ne uddhata roSa ko saMyata karate hue kahA, "rAjIva, tuma nahIM jAnoge ?" __ prA-par3I isa viSama paristhiti ke nIce rAjIva bhayabhIta ho uThA thaa| phira bhI mAno usakI AtmA AtaMka asvIkAra karanA cAhatI thii| usane kahA, "mujha para raMga DAlA gayA thA, bhAI-sAhaba / aura maiM bharA loTA nahIM le jaauuNgaa|" ___ bhAI-sAhaba ne bhayaMkara sthira vANI meM kahA, "acchA, clo| vaha AtI hai|" rAjIva calA gayA, taba bhAI-sAhaba ne usI akampa svara meM kahA, "aba calo, utro|" ___usI lar3akI ne Upara se kahA, "kahatI haiM, Apa caleM / maiM bhI rahI huuN|" ___ z2ora se paira paTaka kara bhAI-sAhaba ne kahA, "phauran paae| sunA ?" aura vaha usI bhA~ti dhamakate hue pairoM se lauTa aae| bhAbhI eka hI dhotI pahane thiiN| zarIra ke cAroM ora use ThIka kiyA, aura jIne ke dvAra khola, vaha dhIre-dhIre, Daga-Daga, calatI calI aaiiN| kisI ke muMha se eka bhI zabda na niklaa| chajjA pAra kiyA, koThA pAra kiyA, usase Age ke dAlAna se nikalatI huI, sahana ke Upara ke chajje para se rasoI-ghara meM calI jaaveNgii| dAlAna ke kAlInoM para se bhAbhI jA rahI thIM ki unhoMne dekhA,

Page #49
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] chajje ke kone meM loTA lie rAjIva khar3A hai, aura usase agale vAle . kamare meM hI kursI para unakI (bhAbhI kI) ora se muha phere mUrtimAna saMkalpa bane bhAI-sAhaba sthira bhAva se baiThe haiN| bhAbhI ne kAlIna para khar3e-khar3e hAtha jor3akara izAre-izAre meM kahA, "rAjIva, jaano| dekho, cale jaao|" kintu, hAya-hAya bhAgya, aba bhI to rAjIva ne bhAbhI ke una aoThoM para smita kI kvacit rekha pAI / are, aba bhI to vyaMga sarvathA vahA~ se anupasthita nahIM hai| vaha rekha aba bhI to bA~kI hI hai| hAya, aba bhI to mAnoM vaha cunautI cupa hokara baiThI nahIM hai; bulA hI rahI hai, bulA hI rahI hai| rAjIva ne kahA, "dekho, maiM g2alIcA kharAba karanA nahIM caahtaa| Age praayo|" bhAbhI ne ati saMkaTApanna mudrA ke sAtha gunagunAkara kahA, "nahIM-nahIM, rAjIva, hama para rahama kro|" rahama ? una aoThoM kI saMdhiyoM meM are, hai bhI kahIM rahama kI darakhvAsta ? kyA usameM nahIM hai ki maiM aparAjitA hU~ ? ki puruSa ke nikaTa strI kabhI bhI parAjita nahIM hai / aparAjitA hI meM huuN|' rAjIva ne kahA, "bhAbhI !" - usI samaya bhAI-sAhaba ne isa ora dekhakara jAne kaisI vANI meM kahA, "kyA hai ?" svara hote haiM, jinakI koI zreNI nahIM hotii| jinameM eka hI sAtha jAne kyA-kyA kucha nahIM hotA / jinameM krodha hotA hai apAra, kintu jo sarvathA zAnta aura niSkaMpa bhI hote haiN| vaja-dRr3ha, kintu hrasva ghoSa / unameM eka hI sAtha mana kI vedanA hotI hai aura roSa bhii| unheM sunakara AdamI ko hilanA hI hotA hai / gUja uThI, "kyA hai ?"

Page #50
rAjIva aura bhAbhI aura rAjIva ne dekhA, bhAbhI kA muha fak, pIlA, pake patte-sA ho gayA hai| para aba bhI kyA vahA~ abalatA kI cunautI likhI hI nahIM hai ? kyA vaha tanika bhI miTI hai ? usa bhayabhIta mukha para to aba mAno pauruSa ke hAthoM daba kara aura bhI durdamanIya, parAsta hokara aura bhI avijeya, strI hone ke kAraNa aura bhI haThIlI hone kA saMkalpa akSaroM kI bhA~ti spaSTa hokara likha pAyA hai / aoThoM ke konoM ke cAroM aura vahI to hai, are vahI hai ! rAjIva ne kahA, "merA loTA to abhI bharA-kA-bharA hI hai|" "tU raMga DAlegA ?" "DAlanA to cAhatA huuN|" "acchA / " kahane ke sAtha bhAI-sAhaba uThe / sthira Daga ke sAtha calate hue prAe / tanika-tanika ghUghaTa kI kora mAthe ke Age hai, aura bhAmI khar3I haiM / bhAI-sAhaba ne Akara unake donoM hAtha pkdd'e| kahA, "cala rI cala, raMga DalavA / " ___ bhAbhI vahIM-kI-vahIM baiTha gaI, unakI bA~heM bhAI-sAhaba ke hAthoM meM thamI murar3atI calI gii| donoM bAMhoM se z2ora se bhAbhI ko khacer3ate hue bhAI-sAhaba ne kahA, "raMga DalavA / vaha khar3A hai|" bhAbhI vahIM kI ho rahI; sarakI bhI nhiiN| z2ora se unakI kamara meM lAta mArakara bhAI-sAhaba ne kahA, "aba DalavAtI kyoM nahIM raMga ?" rAjIva loTA hAtha meM lie sunna-kA-sunna raha gyaa| bhAbhI cupa / na A~kha meM unake A~sU nikale,na muha se kucha nivedana / z2ora se hAthoM ko jhaTaka kara aura do-tIna lAteM eka sAtha jamA kara unheM khacer3ate hue hI bhAI-sAhaba ne kahA, "arI dekha to, kaisA raMga hai ? cala DalavA, raMDI !"

Page #51
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [ sAtavA~ bhAga ] rAjIva kI A~khoM ne dekhA to tIna-cAra, eka sAtha donoM hAthoM kI kaI kA~ca kI cUr3iyA~ caTa caTa TUTa gaI haiM, aura unake Tukar3oM ne cubhakara bhAbhI kI kalAiyoM meM jagaha-jagaha lAla-lAla lohU ke sotoM ko cheda diyA hai / aba bhAbhI kI eka bA~ha bhAI sAhaba ke hAtha meM hai, dUsarI kAlIna para TikI hai / usa bA~ha kI kalAI para phasda ke pAsa ke eka bindu para rAjIva kI dRSTi ' jakar3a gaI hai / yaha raktabindu vahA~ utsAha ke sAtha mAno kSaNa-kSaNa phUlatA A rahA hai / 46 --- "arI bar3hatI nahIM hai ? kAlIna para vaha raMga nahIM DAlegA, aura vaha raMga liye khar3A hai / " granantara lAta aura lAta aura... rAjIva ne sahasA jora se loTA pheMka diyaa| Age bar3hakara kahA, "bhAI sAhaba ! kyA karate haiM ?" kabra ke-se ThaMDe svara meM bhAI sAhaba ne kahA, " tU raMga DAlegA na / le DAla / " rAjIva ne prabhAva se pukArA, "bhAI - sAhava ! " 'are jA, tU jA / ' rAjIva cupa / bhAI sAhaba ne eka sAtha cIkha kara kahA, "jA, jA / nahIM to maiM jAnavara ho sakatA hU~ / " bhAI sAhaba ne yaha kahA aura vaha mAno ThiThake raha ge| usake bAda phira eka sAtha bhAbhI kA hAtha chor3a, lauTa kara tejI se kamare meM cale gae aura apane Upara darvAjA banda kara liyA / rAjIva ne dekhA, bhAbhI farza ko TakaTakI bA~dha dekha rahI haiM / A~khoM se na A~sU nikalA hai, na mu~ha se nivedana / hA~, kalAiyoM meM se jagahajagaha se phaTakara lahU hI khulakara nikalA hai / hAtha vaise hI kAlIna para TikA hai, sira ughar3a gayA hai, aura bhAbhI baiThI haiM ki baiThI hI haiM / are, baiThI hI haiM /

Page #52
rAjIva aura bhAbhI rAjIva mugdha-sA dekhatA rahA / phira eka sAtha bhAga prAyA / * * * 47. yaha bIsa varSa bIte kI bAta hai / mujhe rAjIva kala milA thA / kahatA thA, usa dina ke bAda kala dopahara hI use vaha bhAbhI milI thiiN| sarAya- bAz2Ara meM jo rAjIva kI jAyadAda meM dasa-dasa rupaye vAle kvArTara haiM, unhIM meM eka apane lie lene ke silasile meM vaha usake pAsa AI thiiN| vaha aba bur3hiyA hai| rAjIva ko vizvAsa hai, bhAbhI ne use pahacAna liyA hai / kintu kisI pahacAna kA jikra una donoM ke bIca meM na huA, aura rAjIva ne anta meM kahA ki kvArTara nahIM diyA jA sakegA / una bhAbhI ke sambandha meM apane ko jAyadAda vAlA pAe, samajhe, kyA yaha daMbha rAjIva se jhele jhilatA ? isase kahIM adhika sahya to use niSThuratA hI ho sakI, isase nissaMkoca usane kahA ki kvArTara koI khAlI nahIM hai / kala hI mujhe rAjIva ne chuTTI dI hai ki usakI kahAnI ke sAtha meM icchApUrvaka vyavahAra kara sakatA hU~ / so yaha peza hai /

Page #53
soddezya "musolinI giraphtAra ho gayA, meM kahatA na thA !" brajakizora ne kumArI vINA se kahA / vINA kavitA likhatI hai aura brajakizora vaktRtA detA hai | vINA bolI, "to phira ?" "tuma kahatI na thIM ki hiTalara-musolinI, svayaM meM jo hoM, bhaviSya kI dizA meM rakkhe gae do kadama haiM / bolo, aba kyA kahatI ho ?" "rUsa, briTena aura amarIkA ke hAtha rAjanIti kA dharma-kA~TA hai, yaha maiM nahIM mAnatI / nahIM, yaha meM nahIM mAna sakatI / phira sAthI rASTra eka haiM, to yuddha ko lekara / bhItara se ve eka nahIM haiM / isase rAjanIti ke rAja meM aura nIti meM kisako kisakA guru mAnA jAya ?" sAthI vrajakizora ne kahA, " phAsijma kA anta nikaTa hai| taiyAra rahie, kaba khabara zrA jAya ki hiTalara bhI pakar3A gayA / hArane se pahale apane bhItara kI phUTa se hI ve TUTa rahe haiM / yaha to honA hI thaa| mAnavatA ke zarIra para kA yaha phor3A kaba taka na phUTatA !" vINA hNsii'| bolI, "Aja musolinI ne mujhe bacA liyA, nahIM to merI musIbata thI ki naI kavitA dikhAU~ !" "hA~," brajakizora ne kahA, "vaha to dikhAnI hI hogI / krama Apa 48

Page #54
46 soddezya ko tor3anA nahIM hai / kAnti ko dekhie ki dUsarA saMgraha nikalane vAlA hai / vaha kyA tuma se jyAdA jAnatI hai ? kala kI to bAta hai ki mujhase sIkhatI thI / " vINA ko apane kavi hone ke sambandha meM koI antaradhvani nahIM milii| phira bhI icchA thI ki patra-patrikAoM meM kucha chape, jisake Upara usakA nAma ho / jAna-pahacAna kI kaI aura likhatI haiM / dekhA - dekhI kucha likhA to sAthI brajakizora ne batAyA ki vaha pratibhAzAlI hai / isa pratibhA ke kAraNa idhara pandraha-bIsa dina se hara roja use ekaeka kavitA likhanI par3atI hai aura sAthI kizora ko use sikhAnA aura chapAnA par3atA hai / sAthI zabda, hRdaya kI dRSTi se--yoM kizora ema0 e0 ke AkhirI sAla meM, aura vINA bI0 e0 ko parIkSA degii| para zreNI kA hI sAtha saba-kucha nahIM hotA / hRdaya zreNiyA~ nahIM ginatA / phira kizora prakRti se sAthI hai, mAnava jAti ke hara sadasya ke prati vaha sAthI hone meM vizvAsa rakhatA hai| garIboM kA, dalitoM kA sAthI hai to phira vIraNA ke sAthI hone meM use kyA dikkata hai ! vIragA garIba nahIM hai, aura dalita nahIM hai / amIra hai aura lAr3alI hai / isake atirikta bhI bahuta kucha hai / yoM pUchie to zikSA, saundarya aura AbhijAtya vIraNA ke pakSa meM bAdhAe~ haiM, para kizora sahiSNu hai aura itara vizva kI bhA~ti isa eka vINA kA bhI sAthI hai / kahA, "lAmro lAo, dikhAo / " vINA kI ki kA kAraNa thA - sAvana ke dina cala rahe haiM / kala kucha phuhAra thI / halakI-mIThI dhUpa bhI thii| aise samaya AkAza meM indradhanuSa dIkha zrAyA / chata para khar3I hokara vaha use nihAratI rhii| dekhatI hai ki dhanuSa to do haiM / prakRti nahA uThI hai / saba kucha salonA hai / phira usa samaya jAne kaisA mAlUma huA ! vaha akelI thI para akelepana meM bhI mAno bhItara se bhara AI / hiMDole meM bhUlatI bhUlatI kucha gunagunAne

Page #55
50 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga ] lagI / bhAtara ke rItepana ko jo vastu granAyAsa bhara jAtI hai usake svAda ko kucha ThIka taraha kaha nahIM sakate / vaha mIThA bhI hai, aura tIkhA bhI hai aura kar3avA bhI hai, aura salonA bhI hai / para nahIM, vINA kucha nahIM jAnatI / use yAda AtI hai, para kisI khAsa kI nhiiN| vaha cAhatI hai, para jAne kyA saca yaha ki vaha kucha nahIM caahtii| dina bahuta - bahuta suhAvanA hai| saba kucha suhAvanA hai / bayAra kaisI pyArI hai| AsamAna kaisA bhIgA hai | nanhIM-nanhIM phuhAra kaisI bhalI lagatI hai / nahIM, vaha kucha nahIM jAnatI, vaha kucha nahIM cAhatI / vaha basa hai aura hiMDolane meM bhUlatI huI gunagunA rahI hai | mAnatA TUTI to use kucha burA bhI lagA / lekina usane svayaM tor3I thI, kyoMki apane se alaga kara use kucha paMktiyoM meM bA~dha rakhane kA khyAla ho prAyA / kAgaja-pensila lekara taba usane kucha likha DAlA / sAthI kizora ke sAmane use bhibhaka yahI thI ki yaha kaisI bar3I bhArI mUrkhatA huI / dukhI, dIna, dalitoM ko bhUla kara usane yaha kyA kara DAlA / bolI, "nahIM-nahIM, mujha se kucha likhA nahIM gayA / " sAthI ne kahA, "vINA, aise nahIM calegA / lAo, dekheM kyA likhA hai / " vINA ne kahA, "Aja nahIM, zAma kucha likhakara kala dikhAU~gI / Apane kyA viSaya batAyA thA, maiM bhUla gaI / " "koI viSaya le sakatI ho ---- jaTharAgni, kudAlI, kIkara kA ThUMTha, viSaya - hI viSaya par3e haiN| jinakA duHkha mUka hai, kAvya kI vANI unhIM ke lie ho / usase haTa kara kAvya vilAsa ho jAtA hai / vIragA, sAhitya na vinoda na vilAsa, vaha dAyitva hai / sAmAjika pRSThabhUmi jisameM nahIM, vaha racanA sva-rati kI dyotaka hai| apane ko bhulAne aura bahakAne se nahIM calegA, sAmAjika cetanA ko prabuddha karanA hogaa| hama pU~jIvAdI vyavasthA kI jakar3a meM haiM, vIraNA / usakA samarthaka sAhitya mIThA hone kI..

Page #56
soddezya 5 1 koziza karatA hai / bhAvanA kI utkaTatA ko manda karake mAno hameM sulAnA cAhatA haiM / hama ko jAganA hogA aura sAhitya se sabako jagAnA hogA / isa jakar3a ko tor3anA aura krAntiko siddha karanA hai, vINA / jo dIna haiM, ve dIna nahIM raheMge aura jinake hAtha meM zrama hai, ve hI vidhAtA hoNge| parasoM kI tumhArI kavitA ThIka thii| maiMne vaha sAthI umeza ko de dI hai / usakA khyAla hai ki vaha acchA 'mArca -sauMga' bana sakatI hai / lekina kala bhI to kucha likhA hogA, dikhAo na ?" "nahIM, kucha nahIM likhA / " "nahIM bIragA, likhA hai aura yaha bhI kaha sakatA hU~ ki acchA likhA hai| tuma jo likhogI, acchA likhogI / " vINA kucha kahe ki mA~ kI gU~jatI huI AvAja sunAI dI, "vINA !" vINA ko isa bAta para jhallAhaTa hai / yaha baiThaka, makAna ke bAharI hisse meM hai / sAthI koI milane Ae to andara vighna upasthita nahIM hotA / para baiThaka meM bAtacIta kA svara car3ha jAye to bhItara sUcanA ho hI jAtI hai / aise samaya mA~ bhI pukArane se cUkatI nahIM dekhI jAtIM / vINA kucha purAne DhaMga kI hone para bhI yaha soce binA nahIM rahatI ki maiM vINA hU~, padArtha nahIM hU~ / kImatI cIja ko caukasI kI jarUrata ho, maiM apanA bhalA-burA jAnatI hU~ / bhallAI huI bolI, 'kyA hai, mA~?" "kyA-kyA hai ?" kahatI huI mA~ usI kamare meM AI aura bolIM, " itanI dera se bAteM kara rahI hai / yaha nahIM ki mA~ cUlhe meM hogI, so dekha lU, kucha kAma to nahIM hai !" kizora ne kahA, "namaste, mAtAjI !" "namaste, tU kahatI thI, rAyatA meM banAU~gI / cala, dekha na ?" "calo, abhI prAI "

Page #57
52 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [sAtavAM bhAga "aura tujhe khabara bhI hai, zAma ko cauka se ve loga Ane vAle haiM !" "hA~, khabara hai|" "to A rahI hai na ?" "abhI pAtI huuN|" mA~ calI gaI / khucha dera donoM cupa bane rhe| phira kizora ne pUchA, "kauna pAne vAle haiM ?" "koI nhiiN|" "to bhI kauna ?" "kaha to rahI hU~, koI nhiiN|" "nahIM vINA, ThIka batAo, kauna pA rahA hai ?" "mujhe dekhane koI A rahe haiN|" kizora jhijhakA / vIraNA kA ceharA prasanna na thaa| utsAhita hokara kizora ne kahA, "vINA, hama kisI kI sampatti nahIM haiN| hameM par3hAne-likhAne kI kisI ne bhUla kI hai to kyA yahI pariNAma na honA cAhie ki hama kaheM, hamAre apane vicAra haiM aura hamArA apanA rAstA hai| zikSA ne hamArI A~kheM kholI haiM to hama andhe banakara rUr3hiyoM ke cakkara meM kaise cala sakate haiM ? vINA, tuma kamajora nahIM hogI!" kahatekahate kizora ne vINA kA hAtha pakar3a liyA, "tumase hameM bahuta prAzAe~ haiM, aura maiM...maiM ...!" vINA ne kSaNeka apanA hAtha vahAM rahane diyA aura bolI, "maiMne kala eka kavitA likhI thI," aura andara kI jeba se kAgaja nikAlate hue kahA, "dekho !" kizora ne kAgaja liyA aura kholAvINA ne kahA, "aba maiM jAtI huuN|" sunakara, sira uThAkara, usane vINA ko dekhaa| kAgaja kholate hue anAyAsa hI kavitA kI Upara kI paMkti usameM utara gaI thii| aura vaha

Page #58
soddezya 53 soca rahA thA, "mo, aparicita prANa mere / " maiM, jisako apanA banAkara aura phira aparicita kahakara pukArA gayA hai, vaha kyA maiM hI nahIM hU~ ! ___"jAtI huuN|" kahakara vINA vahA~ se jAne lagI to pArdra kaNTha se kizora bolA, "vINA !" kintu vINA udhara se pITha mor3akara calI jA rahI thii| kizora kAgaja sAmane bichAkara kavitA par3hane lgaa| par3hate-par3hate vaha kho gyaa| kaba usameM A~sU bhara Ae, use patA na thaa| jaba Tapa-Tapa , Tapaka kara kavitA kI syAhI unhoMne phailA dI, taba use ceta huaa| A~sU / poMche / use kisI taraha nizcaya na ho rahA thA ki kavitA kA aparicita prANa, jisase bichur3A isalie jA rahA hai ki bichur3anA sambhava hI nahIM hai, jo itanA apanA hai ki aparicita honA saha sakatA hai, vaha kyA maiM hI nahIM hU~ ! usane kavitA ke kAgaz2a ko aoThoM se lagAkara apane hI A~sU ko pI liyaa| use laga rahA thA ki kavitA meM zabda nahIM hai, vAkya nahIM haiM, chanda nahIM, artha nahIM haiM, una sabake pAra kucha hai, jisase use chuTakArA nahIM milegaa|

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kucha ulajhana 1 : zyAma, lo, meM bambaI A gayA / prAja mujhe yahA~ cauthA roja hai / tuma zAyada samajhate hoge, meM likhU~gA ki bambaI mujhe naraka mAlUma hotA hai / aisA nahIM hai / naraka kI koI bAta nahIM / AdamI becArA hai aura lAkhoM kI tAdAda meM ikaTThA ho jAne para bhI usameM yaha sAmarthya nahIM ki vaha apane mana ke bAhara kahIM naraka paidA kara sake / tumane kahA ki maiM bambaI rahU~ / vahA~ jo bhAgA-bhAgI aura grApA-dhApI macI huI hai, usake sparza meM par3a / tuma jAnate the ki mujha meM yogyatA hai, taba pramAda bhI hai / aura zAyada tumheM bharosA thA ki cAroM ora se sparddhA ke dabAva meM par3akara pramAda ur3a jAyagA aura mere bhItara kI yogyatA nikhara uThegI / meM nahIM jAnatA pramAda mujha meM kitanA hai / agara vaha hai to phira agAdha hai aura prakAraNa nahIM hai / khaira, vaha hogaa| abhI yahA~ ke vyagra jIvana ke Avarta cakroM meM to yadyapi maiM nahIM gayA hU~, phira bhI usa jIvana ke pravAha meM utara calA hU~ / usa dhArA ke bIca apane ko sthira rakhane meM kaThinAI mujhe hotI nahIM lagatI hai / zyAma, maiM apane jaGgala meM rahatA thaa| vahIM kucha maiM hI thor3e thA-- 54

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kucha ulajhana 55 ghAsa thI, paudhe the, per3a the, pakSI the / ina sabake bIca maiMne apane ko kabhI akelA nahIM pAyA / phira kyoM aura kaisA yaha tumhArA Agraha ki maiM janasaMkula isa bambaI meM rahU~ / tumane samajhA ho ki zAyada tuma mujhe apane akelepana se bacA rahe ho / para maiM akelA kabhI thA nahIM, kabhI hoU~gA bhI nahIM / kyoMki, zUnya ko bhI apanA sAthI banA liyA jA sakatA hai / lekina kyA tuma sacamuca samajhate ho ki isa bambaI meM aura usa himAlaya kI tarAI ke jaMgala meM bahuta antara hai ? antara to hai, para vaha bahuta nahIM hai / vaha antara itanA hI hai ki vahA~ AdamiyoM kI na hokara per3oM kI bhIr3a thI / per3a kyA kama jIte haiM ? kyA ve kama vicitra haiM ? kyA ve kama duSTa aura adhika sAdhu hote haiM ? hA~, ve kolAhala zravazya itanA nahIM karate haiM aura bhAgate bhI nahIM phirate haiM / lekina, unakI bhIr3a kaba manuSya ko nizcinta chor3anA cAhatI hai ? meM, zyAma, tumako yahI kahanA cAhatA hU~ ki maiM bambaI A gayA hU~, isameM mere lie koI vizeSa vyAkulatA kI bAta nahIM haiM | AdamiyoM kI duniyA meM milane-julane ke adaba- kAyade huA karate haiM | unase jarA kama paricita hU~, ise hI prasuvidhA samajho to samajho; nahIM to yahA~ mere sAtha saba ThIka hai / isa vakta eka hoTala meM ThaharA hU~, jisameM sirfa bIsa rupaye roja mujhe denA hotA hai / vaha bIsa rupaye de DAlatA hU~ aura roja rAta ko yaha pA letA hU~ ki maiM vaisA hI eka, vaisA hI svatantra, vaisA hI svayaM hU~, jaisA jaMgala meM thA / mujhe pUchane do zyAma, ki jaba yahA~ vizeSa suvidhA mujhe nahIM hai taba mujhako isa bambaI ke bIca pAne ke zrAgraha meM tuma kyoM va-jida ho ? maiM jAnatA hU~ ki tuma aise bahuta paise vAle bhI nahIM ho / taba tumane kyoM haTha- pUrvaka mere palle pA~ca hajAra rupaye bA~dha diye, ki maiM bambaI jAkara unheM kharca kara DAlU ? maiMne bhI yaha 'pA~ca hajAra rupayoM kA bojha tumase le liyA aura nirApada bhAva se unheM yahA~ kharca kara duuNgaa| tumhArI manacItI hone meM maiM kyoM bAdhaka banU ? maiM saca kaha rahA hU~ ki mujhe isameM duHkha nahIM hai / lekina, mujhe isa bodha kA bhI sukha nahIM hai ki isa mere sukhAbhAsa meM tumheM

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [ sAtavI bhAga ] eka kSaraNa ko bhI sukha mila rahA hai / rAta ko jaba sotA hU~, yahA~ cAroM zrora zora rahatA hai / vahA~ sannATA rahatA thA / vahA~ mere svapna nirbAdha prAte aura vaise hI nirbAdha cale jAte the / yaha kahane kA matalaba yaha na samajhanA ki mujhe apanI usa nirjanatA kI yAda kasakatI hai, yA ki maiM yaha socatA hU~ ki tumase pA~ca hajAra rupaye lekara maiMne tumako kyoM prabhArI banAyA / kahane kA matalaba sirfa itanA hI hai, zyAma, ki tuma aura bhI pakke hokara samajha lo ki paisA duniyA meM nikammI cIz2a nahIM hai / maiM eka mahIne meM eka hajAra se jyAdA kharca nahIM karU~gA / eka hajAra kA kharca kyA tuma mere lie aura apane lie bhI kAfI nahIM samajhate ho ? tuma kyoM nahIM merI isa bAta ko mAna lo ki eka haz2Ara ur3A dekara maiM lauTa jAU~, zeSa cAra hajAra tumhAre tumheM sauMpU, aura phira vahIM apane jaGgalI basere para pahu~ca jAU~ / mujhe zrAzA karane do, zyAma, ki tuma samajhadAra ho / tuma mujhase kucha barasa choTe ho, yahI samajhakara maiM tumhAre rupayoM ko asvIkAra na kara sakA thA / yahI dekhakara maiMne tumhArI bAta nahIM tor3I / maiM tumhAre lie aura bhI jyAdA kara sakatA huuN| agara tumhAre pAsa kula pacAsa hajAra rupayA ho aura vaha saba kA saba bhI tuma 56 ! mujhe luTAne ke lie denA cAho to maiM le lU~gA aura luTA DAlU~gA / dAnapuNya meM nahIM, mAtra apane para luTA DAlU~gA / lekina isa DhaGga se mujha dvArA milI huI tumhArI tRpti tumhArI apanI hI tRpti nahIM banegI / isalie eka hada taka hI vaisA santoSa maiM tumheM milane denA cAhatA hU~ / yaha kahane kI jarUrata nahIM ki tumhArI icchAnurUpa maiM aba DhaGga ke kapar3oM meM rahatA hU~ | sUTa-bUTa saba ThIka kiye le rahA hU~ / yahA~ kI sosAyaTI meM bhI praveza kara lU~gA / jo hogA usakI sUcanA samaya - pamaya merI eka mahIne para tumheM detA rahU~gA / lekina, mujhe AzA karane do ki kI sAMsArikatA se tumheM tRpti ho jAyagI / dekho bhAI, zyAma, tumhAre cAra hajAra rupaye mujhe tumheM lauTA dene do / rupayA bahuta kAma AtA hai / eka yahI usa rupaye kI caritArthatA nahIM hai ki vaha mujha para kharca ho / maiM

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kucha ulajhana usake yogya nahIM haiN| vaha bhI zAyada mere yogya nahIM hai| isalie to tuma dekhate ho, ki agara maiM usakI paravAha nahIM karatA to usI ko merI kaba paravAha hai ! hA~ kala varmA milA thaa| yAda AyA ? vahI apanA varmA ! yahIM hoTala ke hAla meM eka meja para akelA baiThA tIsare pahara ke sannATe meM zarabata pI rahA thaa| mujhe dekhakara vaha pAka se uThA nhiiN| hama loga jAnA karate the ki vaha duniyAdAra hai / para usa vakta usa cehare para duniyAdArI anupasthita thii| aisA lagatA thA jaise koI saMkalpa, koI svapna usa para savAra ho / maiMne kahA, "halo varmA !" usane tanika svIkRti meM sira jhukAyA aura AvAja dI, "baoNya / ___baoNya ke A jAne para usane merI tarafa dekhakara kahA, "kyA ? zarbata yA...?" maiMne kahA, "nahIM, kucha nhiiN|" ___ usane sira ghumAkara kaha diyA, "baoNya, eka gilAsa zarbata, kevdd'aa| hA~ blADI, kevdd'aa|" itanA kahakara vaha phira apane zarvata ke gilAsa se laga gyaa| zyAma, vaha usa vakta hamArA purAnA varmA na thA / bhalA kabhI vaha itanA banda, itanA mitavAka, itanA gumasuma ho sakatA thA ? kyA vaha una purAne dinoM meM sadA hI khilakara bikhara par3ane ko udyata na rahA karatA thA ? lekina mez2a para baiThA huA vaha varmA to apane meM hI aisA samAyA huA thA mAno bhItara koI bAta usake prANoM ko Dasakara baiTha gaI hai| ____ mere sAmane zarbata A gayA, lekina maiMne piyA nhiiN| varmA ne bhI kucha nahIM khaa| vaha kaI-kaI sekeNDa bAda zarbata kA jarA-sA ghUTa letA thaa| isa taraha kaI minaTa ho gaye / anta meM jaba usake gilAsa meM se AkhirI bUda cUsa lI gaI aura barfa kA eka choTA-sA Tukar3A hI basa vahA~ bAkI

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga ] raha gayA, taba apane sAmane se usa gilAsa ko dUra haTAkara varmA ne kahA, "sadAnanda, maiM abhI tumheM hI yAda kara rahA thA / tuma bambaI meM ? yaha bhI kismata hai !" 58 maiMne kahA, "varmA mujhe mAlUma na thA ki tuma yahA~ rahate ho / bilakula aura ho ho gaye ho !" zyAma, yaha mata samajhanA ki varmA usa vakta bhI apanI bAharI dhaja meM vahI custa-durusta na thA / para mAlUma hotA thA ki jaise vaha aba usakI Adata kA hissA hai, mana usakA vahA~ nahIM hai| usane kahA, "aura ho gayA hU~ ! hA~, zAyada | duniyA badalA karatI hai, sadAnanda / khaira, tuma yahA~ kala isa vakta miloge to ?" maiMne kahA, "varmA, maiM isI hoTala meM hU~ / grAmro caleM, kamare meM caleM / " "caleM !" vaha asta-vyasta-sA hokara bolA, "khaira calane kI bAta dekheNge...| pracchA sadAnanda, vaha tumhAre mitra zyAma kahA~ haiM.. lakhanaU meM ? vaha duniyA ke nAkAma zrAdamiyoM meM se nahIM haiM na ? vaha kAma kA AdamI hai, kyoM sadAnanda ? sunA hai, usakI bar3I acchI zAdI huI hai / usakI bIbI..." zyAma, tuma hI batAo, maiM usa vakta varmA ko kyA samajhatA, kyA kahatA ? vaha kucha sunane ke 'mUDa' meM usa vakta na thA, jaise apane hI bhItara kahIM giraphtAra ho / Aja kI zAma bItI jA rahI hai aura aba taka varmA nahIM prAyA hai / maiM jarUra usake bAre meM tumheM likhU~gA / 1 aura koI naI bAta mere sAtha nahIM hai / tuma yakIna rakha sakate ho ki tumako meM apane bAre meM a~dhere meM na rakhanA cAhU~gA / tumhArA sadAnanda

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* kucha ulajhana 56 lakhanaU, 10 aktUbara priya bhaiyA, ___sAdara vande / Apake patra ke lie kRtajJa huuN| Akhira itane varSoM bAda Apane patra likhA to| merA aisA anumAna hai ki bambaI meM tabIyata lagane kA guNa aura jagaha se kucha jyAdA hI hai / Apake bAre meM avazya tabIyata lagane na lagane kA prazna itanA nahIM hai, para bAta yaha hai ki Apa ema0 e0 meM pharsTa kyA isalie Ae the ki duniyA se Apa vimukha vana jAya~ aura duniyA ko apane se lAbha na pahu~cane deM? mujhe nahIM mAlUma pahAr3a kI tarAI ke vRkSa-paudhe prApa se kitanA lAbha lete hoMge / yo bambaI pApa se lAbhAnvita hone ko ciMtAtura hai, aisA to nahIM hai| lekina vahA~ cUMki mAnava-samparka anivArya hai, isalie samAja para vyaktitva kI kucha chApa par3anA bhI anivArya hai| samAja ke prati vyakti meM vimukhatA hI to nahIM cAhie na / isI se maiMne cAhA ki hindustAna meM jahA~ sarvAdhika karma-saMkulatA hai aura jahA~ paraspara behada ragar3a hai, usa bambaI meM Apa apane ko pAyeM / jaMgala ke lie to hIna-sAmarthya loga adhika upayukta haiM / jahA~ hor3a itanI tIna hai ki eka ke vyaktitva kI sImA-rekhAe~ dUsare kI maryAdAoM ke sAtha saMgharSa meM Aye binA raha nahIM sakatIM, jahA~ vyaktitva paraspara ragar3a meM prAkara eka-dUsare ko chIlane meM aura eka-dUsare se chInane meM lage haiM, aisI jagaha hI eka sabala, svastha puruSa kA parIkSaNa hogaa| vahIM kA nimantraNa Apako kaise asvIkAra karane diyA jAya ? rupae kI bAta kRpayA na kIjie / maiM bhI usase taGga hU~ / usake kamAne se taGga huuN| usake kharca karane se taGga huuN| kamAne ke lie kharcI, kharca karane ke lie kamAyo / kucha nirarthaka-sA cakkara hai / para jIvana hai hI eka cakkara / grahaNa karo, visarjana kro| pAtro, khoyo|

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga lo, do| aura thaka jAyo, to aA~kha mIca so jaao| jIvana kI paribhASA hI yaha hai / hama pitA se jIvana lete haiM, putra ko jIvana dete haiM / pitA ko hama kucha nahIM dete, putra hameM kucha nahIM detA / phira bhI pitA ko bhI denA par3A, hameM bhI denA par3A, putra ko bhI denA par3egA / ina sabako phira lenA bhI par3A thaa|-sNsaar kA yahI cakkara hai| yahA~ RNa jhUTha hai, uRNatA bhI jhUTha hai| jisase lete haiM use bhalA de kyA sakeMge ? aura prApase to maiM letA hI hU~,-chuTapana se letA AyA huuN| sphUrti lI hai, jise kharcatA hU~ utanI bar3hatI hai / taba itanI dayA kareM ki rupayoM kI bAta na kreN| lIlA ko kyA Apane dekhA hai ? zAyada mujhe kahanA cAhie, zrImatI lIlA / vaha taba calI gaI thIM jaba Apa yahA~ the| para nAma se to jAnate hI haiM / lekina zAyada yaha na jAnate hoMge ki vaha Apako khUba jAnatI haiN| maiMne jaba kahA ki Apa bambaI jA rahe haiM taba vaha merI tarapha dekhatI raha giiN| unake muha se dhIme se nikalA 'bambaI ?' aura vaha mujhe dekhatI hI raha gii| mAno bambaI mAyApurI ho aura Apa itane sAdhu ki vaha Apa ke ayogya ho / maiMne kahA, "kyoM, unake bambaI jAne para aisI hairata meM kyoM ho ?" vaha bolI, "nahIM, kucha nahIM / " maiMne taba batAyA ki tuma unheM jAnatI nahIM ho / vaha bhalA bambaI apane Apa jAne vAle haiM / yaha to tumhAre ina sevaka pati zyAma bAbU kI khAtira hai ki sadAnanda kucha mahIne vahA~ rheNge| vaha sAzcarya bolI, "tumhArI khAtira ?" maiMne kahA, "kyoM ? mujhe vaha sagA choTA bhAI mAnate haiN|" phira vaha dhImI par3a gaIM / bolI, "nahIM, kucha nhiiN|" kSaNeka cupa rahane ke bAda unhoMne kahA, "choTA bhAI mAnate haiM to tumhAre vivAha meM kyoM nahIM pAye ? tumhAre dulAte-bulAte to yahA~ Ate nahIM haiM, aisI hI tumhArI khAtira mAnate haiM ?"

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kucha ulajhana __ maiMne ha~sa kara kahA, "are bhAI, vaha jogI-dhyAnI haiN| vivAha Adi ke bakher3oM meM unheM kyA rAga hai ?" isa para vaha kucha nahIM bolIM aura calI gaI / para tIsare pahara maiM akelA thaa| unhoMne Akara kahA, "bambaI meM vaha ThahareMge kahA~ ? mujhe unakA patA denaa| maiM una vairAgI ko Ane ko likhU gI / likha dU?" maiMne kahA, "kyoM nahIM, jarUra likho| merI tarapha se bhI likha denA, jarUra aaveN|" ____ usake javAba meM unhoMne kahA, "tumhArI tarafa se maiM kyoM likhUgI ? meM apanI tarapha se likhuugii| bolo, nahIM likha sakatI ?" maiMne kahA, "are-are, jarUra likha takatI ho|" so bhaiyA, tumhArA patA maiMne unheM de diyA hai / zAyada vaha tumheM likheN| sadAnanda, meM unheM nahIM samajha pAtA hU~ aura tumhArI madada cAhatA huuN| ___ varmA bambaI meM hai ? mujhako mAlUma nahIM thaa| kucha aura usake bAre meM patA calA ? mujhe utsukatA huI hai| bAta yaha hai ki kahIM isa umra meM Akara prema ke prati varmA khulA hai / yaha eka mitra ne mujhe likhA thaa| dera kA nazA gaharA hotA hai / prema bhI itane dinoM apane dabe rahane, parAsta rahane kA, use bharapUra pratiphala degaa| una mitra kA andAja thA ki kucha aisI hI bAta hai| kAleja meM to varmA ko kheloM aura sosAyaTI meM camakane se phusaMta na thii| aura aba jarA duniyA ke lie vaha khAlI huA hai taba prema ne usa para cora-mArga se Akara dhAvA bola diyA mAlUma hotA hai / mujhe lagatA hai ki yahI bheda usake parivartana ke mUla meM dubakA baiThA hai| varmA kI tatparatA, usakI sAhasikatA, usakI prakRti kA khulA kharApana, ye saba-kucha isa prema-vyApAra meM usake khilApha hI kahIM na par3a jAyeM / dekhie, jarA usakI khabaradArI bhI rkhiegaa| patra avazya dete rhiegaa| mujhe pratIkSA rhegii| ApakA zyAma

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga lakhanaU, 10 aktUbara mere Anana, ( maiM tumheM aura kyA kahU~ ? ) Aja bambaI kA tumhArA patA mujhe mAlUma huA taba yaha patra tumheM likha rahI huuN| unase pUcha kara likha rahI huuN| unhoMne kahA hai, jarUra likho| vaha jAnate haiM ki maiM unakI mArphata tumheM jAnatI huuN| maiMne unheM nahIM kahA ki aisA nahIM hai| sadAnanda, yaha kaisI viDambanA hai ! sadAnanda, prAja merA mana azAnta hai / behada prazAnta hai / - mere vivAha ko pA~ca varSa se Upara ho gaye haiN| taba se maiMne tumheM kabhI patra nahIM likhA / kabhI cAhA ki tuma se milU? kabhI nahIM cAhA / cAha kara bhI maiM kyA pAtI ? maiM jAnatI thI ki tuma nahIM pAyoge / maiM yaha bhI jAnatI thI ki tumako nahIM AnA cAhie / patra likhatI to kyA tuma usakA uttara dene vAle the ? kyA isa patra kA bhI tuma uttara doge ? aura mujhe isase duHkha nahIM hai / isa jJAna meM mujhe sukha hai ki tuma dUra rahate ho, aprApya rahate ho / kyA isIlie nahIM ki kahIM bhItara tuma mujhe pAsa bhI pAte ho ? maiM yAda meM hU~ to mujhe bhUlane kI koziza kaisI ? isalie tumhAre samAcAra kA cirantana prabhAva, tumhArA abhAva, mujhe sukha detA rahatA hai ki tumhAre bhItara maiM hU~, abhI bhI vahAM se nikalI nahIM huuN| aura Aja yahI sukha merA sabase bar3A bhArI duHkha hai / meM yaha jAnakara kyoM sukhI hotI hU~ ki tuma mujhe yAda rakha rahe ho ? dekho sadAnanda, ve dina aba nahIM haiM jaba maiM lilI thI aura tuma Anana huA karate the| maiM Aja giristina hU~, tuma virAgI ho| maiM pativratA hU~, tuma brahmacArI ho / maiM ghara meM hU~, tuma vana meM ho / maiM dAyitvoM meM hU~, tuma nirdvandva ho / duniyA meM apanI jagaha maiM hU~, tumhArI jagaha tuma ho| sadAnanda, tuma mere lie nahIM maiM tumhAre lie nhiiN| tuma apane lie ho aura mujhe chor3a sabake lie ho| yahI hAla merA hai| basa, tumhArI ho nahIM

Page #68
kucha ulajhana 63 aura sabakI sevA kA adhikAra mujhe prApta hai / kahate haiM, saba vidhAtA kA vidhAna hai| vidhAtA ko meM nahIM jAnatI / para usI kA vidhAna hogA / aura nahIM to kisakA hai ? usI kI yaha duniyA hai / hamAre mana kI yaha kaba hai ? yoM hI yaha calatI hai, yoM hI cleNgii| lekina merI tabIyata kabhI-kabhI bahuta ghabarA jAtI hai, bahuta ghabarA jAtI hai / nanda, sadAnanda, batAo, kyA vaha vidhAna saba ThIka hai ? kyA Anana bhU thA ? kyA ve dina jhUThe the ? kyA lilI mithyA thI ? phira ve dina pyAre kyoM lagate the ? phira kyoM eka-dUsare ke lie marane ke artha jIne meM bhI hameM harSa mAlUma hotA thA ? taba samaya raMgIna kyoM bana gayA thA aura jagat kyoM sukhamaya ? taba saba kucha ha~satA-sA kyoM dIkhatA thA ? sadAnanda una dinoM para varSoM kI taha para taha jama gaI haiM, lekina una sabake nIce kyA ve dina hariyAle lahalahAte hue aba bhI jI hI nahIM rahe haiM ? sadAmaiM Aja 'zrImatI lIlAvatI' hU~, aura tumhAre samakSa bhI aba kahatI hUM ki mere bhItara vaha 'lilI' bhI hai aura vaha sadA rhegii| Aja kI dharmapatnI lIlAvatI se tanika bhI kama vAstava nahIM hai vaha lilI / zAyada hai ki adhika satya vaha hI / sadAnanda mujhe batAo ki isa apane bhItara ke atyanta satya ko kyA patideva ke proTa meM hI sadA rakhanA hogA ? pA~ca varSa se isa jIvanta dhar3akate hue satya ko apane bhItara liye hI liye isa ghara meM jI rahI hU~ ! idhara aba yaha mere lie dUbhara ho calA hai / mere pati ko tuma jAnate ho / kaise snehI haiM, kaise sIdhe haiM, kitane parAyaNa haiM / lekina meM idhara unase bahuta lar3ane lagI hU~ / unheM dekhakara jI svastha rahatA hI nahIM / vaha ha~sate haiM to maiM kur3hatI hU~ / jI hotA hai, zrare meM mara kyoM na gaI / sadAnanda, tuma virAgI ho, mujhe batAo ki kyA z2indagI ke ekaeka dina aise hI jIne hoMge ? maiM tumhAre pratyanta priyabandhu, -- apane pati se bahuta anamanI-sI rahane lagI hU~ / jaba-taba takarAra khar3I karatI rahatI hU~, jisase ki koI kSaNa to aisA bane ki maiM Aveza meM bhUla jAU~ aura kaha paDU" ki pUrNa satya kyA hai / kaha dU~ ki jo satI pativratA devI

Page #69
64 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA bhAga] lIlAvatI haiM, unake bhItara eka aura hai, usakA nAma hai lilI / vaha patideva kI nahIM hai, vaha jAne kisa,-aura kI hai / are o mere svAmI, maiMne usa lilI ko kucala-kucala kara miTA denA cAhA hai, para vaha nahIM miTI hai,-nahIM miTI hai| maiMne yaha tumase kaha diyA hai / aba jo kaho, vahI kruuN| para sadAnanda, apane vizvAsI pati kI ciraprasanna mudrA dekhakara merI himmata TUTa jAtI hai / maiM usa nirmala prasannatA ko kaise tor3eM ? jahA~ khilakhilAtI dhUpa hI bharI hai, kAlA bAdala kahIM bhI koI nahIM hai, usa svaccha AkAza ko kaise eka sAtha apane maila ke sphoTa se vikSubdha kara hU~ ? yaha muzkila hai / mujhase nahIM hotA, nahIM hotaa| lekina hAya, apane bhItara kA yaha bojha bhI kaise DhoU~ ? kaba taka DhoU~ ? sadAnanda, jI meM hotA hai eka dina sabere uThakara apane pati para anaginata lAMchana lagA DAlU, apane mana ko unake prati kAlimA se bhara lU aura apane prati balAtkAra-pUrvaka kaha dUM, 'tumhArA-sA pati maiM nahIM saha sakatI, isalie maiM jAtI hU~, aura isa ghara kI chAyA ko chor3akara cala huuN| sadAnanda, tuma mujhe samajho / merI sArI vyathA yaha hai ki kyoM mere pati itane nizchala, itane udAra, itane svarUpavAn haiM ? kyoM vaha majha para itane vizvAsI, itane snehI haiM ? kyoM vaha itane kRpAlu haiM ? mere liye sadAnanda, pati-kRpA asahya huI jA rahI hai / jaba se maiMne jAnA hai ki unhoMne tumako pA~ca hajAra rupaye dekara bambaI bhejA hai, taba se maiM behada vikSubdha huuN| vaha mujhe kyoM yoM satAte haiM ? mujhe mAlUma hotA to maiM eka paisA nahIM dene detI / tumheM kyA hai, rAga na zoka / tumhAre lie cAhe pA~ca haz2Ara aise hoM jaise pA~ca kaur3I, lekina, mere mana para to ve jaise merI hI kabra kA patthara bana kara baiTha gaye haiN| tuma batAo, aise pati ko maiM pati kaise mAnU jo mujhe itanI takalIfa de sakatA hai ? sadAnanda, tuma unako likho ki meM ayogya huuN| nAma se nahIM to guma nAma patra se hI unheM mere

Page #70
kucha ulajhana 65 sambandha meM cetA dA / unheM batA do ki maiM pativratA nahIM huuN| maiM tumhArA ahasAna maanuuNgii| ____ yA tumhI batAo, kyA ho ? kyA aisA ho sakatA hai ki tuma yahA~ prAyo ? maiM kabhI-kabhI soca uThatI hU~ ki hama donoM eka dUsare kA hAtha pakar3akara unake sAmane caleM aura meM unase kahU~ ki 'suno jI, byAha se pahale maiM lilI thI, yaha Anana the / byAha ko lekara hama donoM ke bIca meM tuma A gye| lekina maiM jAnatI hU~, tuma mahAn ho, tuma kisI ke bIca meM AnA nahIM caahoge| taba suno, kyA hama donoM tumhArI ijAjata se aba phira vaise hI nahIM ho sakate ? tuma kyoM pati banate ho ?--kyoMki tuma to mere pUjya ho|' sadAnanda, mujhe lagatA hai ki maiM to isa taraha kI koI bevakUphI kara baiTha bhI sakatI.hU~, kyoMki mere bhItara tuma nahIM jAnate kaisI yAtanA hai / lekina, unake citta ko coTa dene kI kalpanA para hI maiM sihara jAtI huuN| o rAma, mere pati jarA bhI nAlAyaka kyoM nahIM haiM ? sadAnanda, mujhe bacAyo / maiM tumhAre sAtha vilAsa meM bhI jA sakatI hU~, naraka meM bhI jA sakatI hU~, jaGgala meM bhI jA sakatI hU~, tumhAre sAtha duniyA kI kutsA ko bhI maiM jhela lUgI, lekina yaha jo mujhe svarga meM rakha rahe haiM, yaha mujhase nahIM miltaa| yaha svAmI kA akapaTa sneha, yaha sarvasantuSTa gRhasthI, yaha svarga mujhe nirantara kATatA hai| ___ maiMne isa pAMca hajAra rupaye kI bAta para unheM khUba kahA-sunA hai / ki rupayA-paisA ur3AnA hI tumheM AtA hai / pAlana-poSane ke lie gRhasthI meM to jaise koI hai hI nhiiN| basa, mitroM meM hI vaha kharcA jAtA hai| maiM rUThI hU~, maiM jhIMkI hU~, maine na kahane lAyaka kahA hai / para vaha muskarA dete rahe haiM, kaha dete rahe haiM ki 'sadAnanda ko tuma jAnatI nahIM ho / ' usa samaya jI hotA hai ki unheM gAlI dekara apanA sira phor3a DAlU, para saba sahakara cupa ho gaI hU~ aura sadAnanda, pA~ca-hajAra kyA, kucha bhI vaha tuma para vAra deNge| sadAnanda tuma merI vipatA samajhate to ho| batAo, yaha saba maiM kaise saha~ ? apanI kSudratA ko maiM Upara lAkara dikhA denA cAhatI haiM, para

Page #71
___ jainendra kI kahAniyAM [sAtavAM bhAga] pati kI anAyAsa mahattA ke noce kucalI jAkara vaha merI kSudratA atyanta santrasta hai / sadAnanda, mujha kSudra ko yahA~ se ubAro / mujhe isa svarga se tor3a kara cAhe kahIM bhaTTI meM jhoMka denA / maiM vahA~ sukhI rhuuNgii| sadAnanda, praayo| batAyo, maiM kyA karU~ ? kyA karU~ ? tumhArI lilI bambaI, 1 navambara zyAma, kSamA karanA, maiM isa bIca tumheM patra na likha sakA / kucha ulajhA rahA / aba suno, maiM tIna tArIkha ko lakhanaU pahu~ca rahA hU~ / nahIM, dalIla na kro| maiM bambaI nahIM rhuuNgaa| aura apane bAkI bace cAra hajAra rupaye tuma cupacApa le loge,-samajhe ? cAho to unheM pheMka denaa| para aba maiM tumhAre khAtira bhI vaha rupayA na le skuuNgaa| tumhArI dharmapatnI lIlAvatIjI ko maiM jAnatA huuN| unheM merA praNAma kahanA aura kahanA maiM tIna tArIkha ko ghara pahuMca rahA huuN| hA~, eka khabara hai / abhI par3hane ko milA, varmA ne Atma-ghAta kara liyA hai| varmA aura Atma-ghAta ? akhabAra kI kaTiGga sAtha bhejatA huuN| par3hakara mana sanna raha jAtA hai / zyAma, isa ajaba duniyA meM AdamI bhI ajaba jAnavara hai ! zeSa milane pr| tumhArA sadAnanda

Page #72
mauta kI kahAnI carcA chir3I prema para, prA pahuMcI mauta para / kisa rAste prema se cala. kara behUde viSaya para hamArI carcA A gaI, yaha hamako ThIka taura se pata nahIM calA / hamArI klaba-maNDalI ke rasa-pradhAna sadasya bAbU premakRSNa bhaTanAgara eDavokeTa ne kahA, "yaha mauta jAne kahA~ se bIca meM kUda par3atI hai ki hamArA saba karA-karAyA caupaTa kara detI hai / isake mAre nAka meM dama hai / Aja yahA~ baiThe haiM, kala kA bharosA nhiiN| aise meM kyoMkara kucha karane ko jI cAhe / yahI hai, ki jAne kaba vaha bIca meM A Tapake; isalie jitane dina rahanA, maje se rahanA; apanA to yahI usUla hai|" isake samarthana meM phira eka zera kahA, "jo mujhe yAda nahIM hai|" prophesara jJAnavihArI ne kahA, "basa aba vaha thor3e hI dinoM kI mehamAna hai / aba bhI apanI davAiyoM se kambakhta ko sAla-do-sAla dUra bhagAye rakhate haiM / thor3I dera aura Thaharane kI bAta hai, phira to use aisI dhatA batAI jAyagI, ki idhara bhUlakara bhI muha na kre|" prophesara jJAnavihArI sAiMsa ke bar3e prophesaroM meM se the aura padArthavijJAna meM vizeSa paiTha rakhate the| ____ DA0 vidyAsvarUpa ne kahA, "usakI AvazyakatA aba dhIre-dhIre samApta hotI jA rahI hai / jIvana kyA isalie hai, ki usakA anta mauta meM ho

Page #73
68 janendra ko kahAniyAM [sAtavAM bhAga] jAya ? nahIM, jIvana kI yaha hAra cirakAlIna nahIM ho sakatI / jIvana kA kucha artha hI nahIM, agara mauta usake Age phulasTApa kI taraha Akara baiTha jAya / isalie mRtyu sthAyI vastu nahIM hai| prakRti hameM isalie nahIM jilA sakatI ki pIche se hameM mAra denA hai| kahIM kucha gar3abar3a avazya hai jo hama marate haiN| nahIM to maranA aprAkRtika honA cAhie, asambhava honA caahie|" ____ maiMne pUchA, "mauta kA khAtA banda ho jAyagA, to janma kA silasilA bhI roka denA par3egA / nahIM to dharatI para aisI kicamica macegI ki sA~sa lene ko bhI jagaha na rahegI / bacce nahIM hoMge, to strI bhI nahIM rhegii| phira puruSa bhI aise nahIM raheMge / saba milakara hijar3e-se bana jaaeNge| kyoM yahI bAta hai na ?" ... itanI dUra kI bAta vidyAsvarUpajI aura jJAnavihArIjI ne kAhe ko socI hogii| vaha sahasA uttara na de sake / jJAnavihArI ha~sa par3e, aura vidyAsvarUpa, jaise soca meM par3a gye| vaha pI-eca0 DI0 haiM; isalie hara bAta ko unheM hastAmalakavat jAnanA cAhie, aisA unakA khayAla hai| mi0 khannA eDITara ne kahA, "hogI, nahIM hogI, isase hameM kucha bhI matalaba nahIM; para cIz2a bar3I kharAba hai / merA vaza cale, to ekadama roka duu|" ___ maiMne kahA, "merI bhI yahI rAya hai / isa cIz2a ko abhI roka denA caahie| aura isake lie abhI yaha kAma karanA cAhie ki agalI bAra isa manamAne paramAtmA ko khIMcakara jaba apanI marjI ke mutAbika voTa dekara paramAtmA banAne kA maukA Aye, to isake lie hama taiyAra rheN| khUba voTsa kanavAsa kareM, aura mi0 khannA ko usake lie cuna ddaaleN| misTara khannA gaye, ki hameM mauta se chuTakArA mila jaaygaa|" - isI taraha kI bAtoM se hama mauta ko pakar3a kara z2indagI kA majA lene lge|

Page #74
... mauta kI kahAnI ... maiMne kahA, "hama loga usake pIche itanI bar3I-bar3I bAteM banAte haiN| khatama kara deMge, yaha kara deMge, vaha kara deNge| sAmane jaba vaha A pahu~cegI, to muha se bAta bhI na niklegii|" premakRSNa ne kahA, "vAha, mauta kI kyA bAta hai ! saikar3oM ha~sate-ha~sate mara jAte haiM / kaisA malAla, kaisA duHkha, z2arA kucha bhI jo unheM khayAla hotA ho / para aisA vahI kara sakate haiM, jo jindagI kA lutpha uThAnA jAnate hoN| vahI mauta kA bhI majA le sakate haiN|" phira bAta calI, ki kisI ne mauta dekhI bhI hai yA nhiiN| AmanesAmane dekhI ho, yaha nahIM ki kitAboM meM par3ha liyA, yA dUsare ko marate dekha liyaa| saba sahamata hue ki bhaya nAma kA deva, hai sacamuca bar3A ddraavnaa|| aura socane lage ki vAstava meM vaha kisI astra-zastra se AdamI ko nahIM mAratA, daraasala mAratA hI nahIM, prAdamI use dekhakara Dara ke mAre pApa hI mara jAtA hai| eka hamArA membara hai pramoda / isa sthala para vaha bhI A phuNcaa| hama saba logoM ko bar3I khuzI huii| pUchA, "tuma to kalakatte the, kaba Aye ?" ..usane kahA, "basa, A hI rahA hU~ smjho| socA, zAma kA vakta hai, pahale Apa hI logoM se mila lU, phira aura kucha karU~gA |....kyaa bAtacIta hai ?" premakRSNa ne kahA, "bar3A jhamelA A. par3A hai / savAla yaha hai ki kisI ne myAU~ kA Thaura pakar3A hai|" lagabhaga sAtha hI maiMne kahA "bAta yaha hai ki mauta kA mAmalA hai / yaha jAnanA hai ki kisI ne use Amane-sAmane dekhA hai / tumane itanA saba-kucha dekhA; para ise bhI dekhA hai ?" pramoda ne kahA, "Apa logoM ko zAma ke vakta yahA~ klaba meM mauta

Page #75
70 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavAM bhAga] dekhane kI sUjhI hai| yahI thA, to akele maraghaTa meM jAkara baiThate / vahA~ dekha pAne kI kucha AzA bhI ho sakatI thii| vAstava meM mauta apanA raMga badalatI rahatI hai| kisI ko kaisI dIkhatI hai, kisI ko kaisii| aba kucha, to phira kucha / yA kaho ki vaha vaisI hI rahatI hai, alaga-alaga taraha kI dIkhatI hai / maiMne jaba dekhA thA, taba to bilakula DarAvanI nahIM mAlUma huI thI, aba jAne kaisI lgegii|" hama saba jAnane ko bar3e kutUhala-grasta hue ki isane kaise use dekhA, aura ise kyoM DarAvanI nahIM lgii| ____ DAkTara vidyAsvarUpa ne ha~sakara kahA, "mauta jise dekhatI hai, use apane sAtha le jAtI hai| isalie ki koI use dekhakara yahA~ phira usakA | bheda na khola de, jisase usakA sArA Dara-vara jAtA rahe / tuma to yahA~-keyahA~ maujUda ho !" pramoda ne kahA, "to Apa cAhate haiM, maiM yahA~ na hotA, kahIM aura calA gayA hotA / Apa kyA cAhate haiM ki maiM svarga-loka meM car3ha gayA hotA, yA naraka-loka meM jA par3A hotaa| yA batAie Apa caurAsI-lAkha joniyoM meM se kisa jonI meM mujhe bhejanA pasanda karate ?...maiM to apane ko bilakula chor3a baiThA thA ki mujhe aba koI le jAya, aba koI le jAya / para koI lene hI na paayaa| aura pAMca-minaTa isa mauta ke cakkara meM par3e rahane ke bAda maiM caMgA ho gyaa| zaka hai ki pAMca-minaTa bhI lage yA na lge| zAyada tIna hI minaTa meM saba kAma ho gayA ho / una tIna minaToM ke bAda maiM jaisA bhalA-caMgA thA, vaisA hI ho gyaa| pAna maiM tabhI se nahIM khAtA huuN| mauta se Darane ke bajAya maiM pAna se Dara lenA apane lie kAphI samajhatA huuN|" isa taraha bahuta dera taka khUba jhikAkara khUba ukasAkara, jo kahAnI usa kambakhta ne hameM sunAI, vahI maiM Aja Apako sunAtA huuN| usake lie Apa mujhe jimmedAra na maaneN|

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* mauta kI kahAnI usane kahA pahale Apa yaha samajha lIjie ki meM hamezA aisA na thA / jaba par3hatA thA, taba acchA zakIla thA, javAna thaa| jAne umra ke sAtha zakala kyoM buDDhI hotI hai / zakala kA kyA jAtA hai, jo vaha usI taraha bharI gulAbI nahIM rhtii| aba kI zakala se Apa bilkula andAz2A nahIM lagA sakate ki maiM kAmadeva thA, aura mana AsamAna meM rahatA thaa| taba socatA thA, vyAha nahIM kraauuNgaa| kyA vyAha-byAha ! ghara ke andara hI nona-telalakar3I ke cakkara meM par3akara ghUmate raho, aura eka dina Ae ki thakathakAkara vahIM Dhera ho jAo / taba koI kahatA ki tU ar3atIsa barasa kI umara meM cAra baccoM kA bApa hokara phira dUsare byAha ke lie maratA phiregA, to maiM use thappar3a lagAkara gAlI dene kA majA cakhA detA / para Aja maiM acaraja nahIM karatA / yahA~ hara bAta para acaraja karate phiroge, to usI meM mara jAoge / z2arrA-z2arrA yahA~ kA acaraja se bharA par3A hai| yahA~ to apane kAma-se-kAma rakhanA cAhie / to maiM Apako vaha bAta sunaauuN| bahuta dinoM kI bAta ho gaI hai / maiM sekaNDa-Iyara meM thA, yA tharDa-Iyara meM, acchI taraha yAda nhiiN| una dinoM meM bar3I sudhAra kI bAteM socA karatA thaa| gAMvoM meM vidyA kI kitanI hInatA hai, aura hama loga jo par3he-likhe haiM, isa ora apanA RNa bilakula nahIM cukAte haiM-yaha socakara mujha para jisa bhArI kAma kA uttaradAyitva hai, usakA bojha meM apane kandhoM para anubhava kiyA karatA thA / socatA thA-jarA par3ha lU, kucha ho jAya, phira gA~voM kI hAlata sudhArane meM laga jAU~gA / jIvana kI saphalatA hai utsarga meM, bane-Thane phirane meM kucha nahIM hai| una dinoM yaha bAta mAno maiMne apanI raga-raga meM samA lI thii| dadhIci aura zivi ke kArya aura sanAtana prAdarza ko mAno khIMcakara apane bhItara rakha liyA thA aura use aisA sajaga rakhatA thA ki kabhI A~kha se vaha aojhala na hone paae| usake prakAza aura uSNatA kI ora se kabhI citta pherakara raha hI na sakU, usa Adarza ko aisA prajjvalita karake maiMne apane bhItara samA

Page #77
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] rakhA thaa| __ mere eka dUra ke cAcA the / vaha gA~va ke jamIMdAra the, vahIM rahate the| dA~toM ke bIca meM jaise jIbha rahe, vaise hI mAnoM apanI kuzalatA ke bala para vaha vahA~ raha pAte the| unake pitA ne kahIM dUra deza se pAkara apane eka mitra kI sahAyatA para bharosA rakha kara, asampanna dazA meM vahA~ paira rakhA thA / vaha sAtha kauna bhAgya lAye the, ki jahA~ kRpAprArthI aura kRpAjIvI hokara paira-bhara rakhane kI unhoMne jagaha pAI thI, vahA~ hI havelI uThakara khar3I ho gaI / aura isake sAtha hI unake mitra, jo vahA~ ke jamIMdAra the, unakA saba-kucha girane laga gayA / hote-hote yaha mitra hAla-be-hAla ho gaye, aura mere cAcA ke pitA, bisvA-bisvA hote, gA~voM ke bIsoM bisve jamIMdAra ho cale / purAnI brAhmaNoM kI amaladArI aura jamIMdArI ukhar3akara vahA~ binA kisI utpAta ke eka baniye kI amaladArI kAyama hone lagI, to gA~va ke kucha vRddha brAhmaNa puruSa cete / unhoMne dala banAkara kaTibaddha hokara isa vaizya-putra kA mukAbalA karane kA nizcaya kara liyA; para unakI pramattAvasthA meM yuga-dharma ne brAhmaNa-vRtti ko talAka dekara vaizya-vRtti ko varaNa kara liyA hai-yaha unako patA nahIM thaa| isa gA~va meM hI nahIM, aura bar3I-bar3I jagaha Akara baniyoM ne siMhAsana para apanA sthAna banA liyA hai, aura unhoMne bar3I-bar3I adAlateM aura bar3I-bar3I cIjeM khar3I kara dI haiM, isakA bheda bhI unheM acchI taraha nahIM mAlUma thaa| isa lie isa ajJAnatA meM usa brAhmaNa-dala ne jo-kucha kiyA, adAlata Adi bahuta-sI bAharI vastu ( Factors) bIca meM A jAne ke kAraNa aisA kucha huA ki vaha unhIM ke muMha para pAkara pdd'aa| vaizya-putra ke jhUThe mAmale bhI sacce hone lage, aura unheM apanI maurUsI jamIna se bedakhala honA pdd'aa| idhara unake sacce mAmale bhI citta par3ane lage / isakA pariNAma yaha huA ki brAhmaNa-dala cupa ho baiThA-khulakara vaidha-rUpa se kucha kara pAne kI prAzA chor3a baiThA / aura akelA eka vaizya sarva-zaktimAn hokara vahA~ rAjya karane lgaa| sarva-zaktimAn hone se merA matalaba

Page #78
. mauta kI kahAnI yaha hai ki vaha saba zakti, jo bAhara se jamA ho sakatI thI, usake paise ke nIce Akara ikaTThI ho gaI / vastutaH vahI saba parAI zakti vaizya ke paise se puSTa hokara vahA~ rAjya karatI thii| mere cAcA ke vaha pitA to apanI nija kI bhItarI zakti ke abhAva meM becAre rAjya kyA karate the, usa rAjya ke vistAra meM kaida hokara apanI jAna ke lie Darate-Darate dina bitAte the / jo unhoMne jamA kara pAyA thA, usakA bahuta-sA bhAga usako kAyama rakhane ke lie, aura usake kAraNa jo Dara unhoMne apane cAroM tarapha khar3A kara liyA thA, usase apane ko bacAne ke lie unheM kharca karanA par3atA thaa| lekina jo Dara bhItara hai, usase bacane ke lie laTTha lekara bAhara AdamI ko khar3A kara dene se to kAma nahIM cala sktaa| isase hara to unakA jAtA nahIM thA, hAM, apanI Aya ke isa tIna-cauthAI kharca-se paramukhApekSitA unake hAtha avazya AtI thii| lekina eka taraha ke vaha dabaMga AdamI the aura catura the| vANI meM eka prakAra kA prabhutva thA / bhItara khaTakA rahatA thA, para bAhara-se aise nizzaMka hokara, DA~Takara bolate the, ki sabako dabadabA mAnanA par3atA thaa| isalie vaha to ThIka taura se cAlIsa barasa kI avasthA meM mara gye| vaha sthUlakAya the, bhItara lage Dara ke kIr3e ko dasa barasa taka unake kalevara meM se khAdya milatA rhaa| anta meM usane cAlIsa barasa kI avasthA meM bilakula khokhalA karake unheM girA diyA aura isa saMsAra se bidA kara diyaa| .. pIche chor3a gaye do lar3ake / "kyA ? kahAnI kahU~ ? bhUmikA kI jarUrata nahIM hai ?" mere Tokane para merI ora mur3akara usane kahA, "bhUmikA ke binA to kucha ho hI nahIM sakatA / vaha to bar3I jarUrI cIja hai, jaise laMgUra ko pUcha usake lie bar3I jarUrI hai / usake pUcha na ho, to Apa samajhate haiM, vaha kUdatA-phA~datA raha sakatA hai ? laMgUra to vaha daraasala pUcha ke kAraNa hI hai, nahIM to

Page #79
sira-dhar3a to hareka meM hotA hai / vAstava meM vaha pUcha hI se laMgUra hai, bAkI saba vyartha kI bAta hai / yahI kahAnI kI bAta hai / bhUmikA..." "maiM bAz2a AyA aise Tokane se / " maiMne kahA, "acchA-acchA, bAbA, jaisI marjI ho tumhArI, kaho / nayA lekcara mata zurU kro|"... usane binA ruke kahanA jArI rakhA-"pApa ukatAte haiM, to maiM chor3a detA huuN| lekina phira Apake pachatAne kA meM doSI nahIM hU~gA / maiM aba bAta para hI pA rahA huuN| hA~, to hamase kaTe hue hamAre dAdA mere do cAcA chor3a gye| ghabar3Ae~ nhiiN| yahAM eka bAta aura khuuNgaa| jabakI bAta kahatA hU~, usase eka sAla pahale taka ina cAcAoM ke astitva kA mujhe patA bhI nahIM thaa| bAta yaha thI ki hamAre dAdA do bhAI the| choTe bhAI kI bahU zAdI ke do sAla bAda mara gaI / aba dUsare byAha ke lie birAdarI meM lar3akI na milii| hAra kara hamAre sage dAdA ne choTe bhAI ko byAha birAdarI chor3akara kara diyaa| natIjA yaha huA ki hamAre paradAdA jAta se khArija ho gaye / khaira, vaha to daNDa-vaNDa dekara aura do-eka jyonAra dekara phira jAta-birAdarI meM A gye| choTe dAdA ko kATa kara aisA alaga kara diyA gayA, ki unase sambandha rakhanA pAtaka hogyaa| birAdarI ke loga isa para kar3I nigAha rakhane lage ki ve loga Apasa meM khAna-pAna to eka nahIM karate / unakI nigAha bacAkara sambandha kaise banAyA rakhA jA sake ? ghara se TUTa kara Akhira aura kahIM una choTe dAdA ko apanA baserA banA lene ko lAcAra honA par3a gyaa| aisI hI hAlata meM bhaTakabhaTakA kara vaha AgarA jile ke usa gA~va meM jA pahuMce the| vahA~, jisa taraha vaha jamIMdAra bana baiThe, yaha Apako mAlUma ho hI gayA hai| hama saba baccoM ko una cAcA-dAdA ke astitva ke bAre meM cintApUrvaka bilakula a~dhere meM rakhA jAtA thaa| isalie pichale sAla jaba mujhe ekadama patA calA ki hamAre eka cAcA hai, jo gAMva meM rahate haiM, jamIMdAra

Page #80
mauta kI kahAnI 75 haiM, to mujhe acaraja ke sAtha prasannatA bhI huii| dillI zahara meM rahatA thA aura jAne gA~dhI-vAMdhI kisa-kisakI kitAbeM par3hatA thA; isalie gA~va kI... bhUkha jI meM bar3I lagI rahatI thii| cAcA ke gAMva meM rahane kI bAta kyA / sAmane A gaI, bhUkhe ke sAmane parasI-parasAI thAlI A phuNcii| aura . sAtha hI, usake sAtha bar3e pyAra kA khAno-khAo kA anurodha bhI aayaa| vaha bAta yoM huI thI hamAre gharoM meM yoM to AnA-jAnA lagabhaga nahIM thaa| ciTThI-patrI bhI nahIM AtI-jAtI thii| phira bhI AtmIyatA thI / aisI bhI AtmIyatA hotI hai, jo Ane-jAne, ciTThI-patrI ke vyavahAra para Tika kara hI nahIM jiitii| vaha binA isa sahAre ke yoM hI sadA harI rahatI hai / so eka dina unameM se bar3e cAcA kI ciTThI AI ki choTe bhAI ko duzmanoM ne lAThI se bar3A mArA hai, baca jAya to khaira samajho, nahIM to ummIda bilakula nahIM hai| pitA Adi ko turanta pAne ke lie likhA thaa| hama logoM ko bhI sAtha bulAyA thaa| pitAjI khabara pAte hI phaurana cale gaye, aura strI-varga ne ronA prArambha kiyaa| mujhe merI mAtA se yaha bhI mAlUma ho gayA ki abhI eka mahInA pahale ghara Akara jo mujhe khUba bAjAra kI saira-vaira karAne le gaye the, aura jinhoMne mujhe taraha-taraha kI cIjeM khilAkara aura tamAze dikhAkara merI khUba khAtira kI thI, vaha vahI mere choTe cAcA the, jinake mAre jAne kI khabara AI hai / unakI yAda to mujhe khUba thii| vahI cAcA the aura unako hI duzmanoM ne mArA hai, yaha mAlUma karake merA jI bhara kara phUTa calA aura maiM ekAnta meM jAkara rone lgaa| phira vaha mara gaye, acche nahIM ho ske| vaha kAlija meM ema0 e0 meM par3hate the| aura hama meM apane meM kisI taraha kA antara nahIM mAnate the| agale varSa kI garmI kI chuTTiyoM meM meM apane cAcA ke pAsa gayA / basa, aba maiM kahAnI para A gayA huuN| sunie||

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] ____ maiMne jAkara dekhA, cAcA usa bar3e-se gA~va meM burI taraha akele rahate haiN| apane pitA kI taraha kharca karane kA zauka unheM nahIM hai| isalie paisA kharca kara kucha musAhaba-kArindoM ko bhI vaha apane pAsa nahIM juTA sake haiN| vaha epha0 e0 taka a~garejI par3he haiN| usake bala para aphasaroM se / kucha dostI banA baiThe haiM / aura usa dostI ke bUte para chor3akara aura kartavya-parAyaNa hokara akele-dama apanI jamIMdArI kA kAma calAte haiM / ____yahA~ Akara gA~va meM merA yaha karane aura vaha karane kA irAdA saba miTTI ho gyaa| yahAM kA hAla-cAla hI kucha Ter3hA dikhAI diyaa| maiM apanI sadicchAoM ko lekara logoM ke pAsa pahu~catA, to unakI jubAna jAne kahA~ calI jAtI / yoM dina-bhara hukke ke cAroM ora khAToM para baiTha kara kahA~-kahA~ ke kulAve milAyA karate hoMge, mere jAte hI guma-suma ho rahate / maiM jAnatA hU~, maiM koTa-peMTa meM rahatA thA, bilakula unhIM kI bolI meM maiM bAta nahIM kara sakatA thaa| lekina kyA vaha samajhate haiM, unameM milakara kAma karane ke lie koI pUrA unake jaisA hokara hI rahegA ? maiMne bhI socA, agara nahIM hai garaja unheM zikSA aura rozanI kI, to kyoM maiM vyartha bahuta-sI cintA mola lekara hairAna hotA phirUM / maiM phira adhikatara ghara meM rahane lgaa| kabhI akele bAgoM meM, khetoM meM saira karane subaha-zAma nikala jAyA krtaa| cAcA ne paitRka-rUpa meM do cIjeM khUba pracuratA meM pAI thIM-eka dravya aura dUsare adAlata-bAz2I kA zauka / dUsarI vastu ko unhoMne khUba bar3hAcar3hAkara utkarSa para pahu~cA liyA; isalie pahalI vastu utanI pracuratA meM saMgRhIta na raha sakI / vaha dravya pAnI kI bhAMti dravita hokara baha-bahakara adAlata ke gaDDhe meM jA girane lgaa| aura usa gaDDhe ke pAnI meM usake cAroM ora basane vAle jIva, Tarra-Tarra karate hue, use bhara-pyAsa pI-pIkara, khUba sthUla hone lge| . cAcA ke usa adAlatabAjI ke zauka kA mere hita meM yaha pariNAma

Page #82
mauta kI kahAnI 77 huA ki maiM apanA dina-bhara cAcI ke pAsa bitAne ko khAlI pAne lgaa| cAcI bhI mere sAtha bAta-cIta karane ko apane ko khAlI pAne lgiiN| vaha hoMgI koI 22-23 varSa kI, par3hI-likhI acchI thIM aura samajhadAra to... premakRSNa ne bIca hI meM kahA, "aba itanI dera meM AI kahAnI ! hA~, par3hI-likhI thIM, aura kaisI thIM ?" pramoda kA svara bhArI ho paayaa| usane kahA, "kahAnI AI nahIM, unake sAtha to kahAnI gaI / vaha aba nahIM haiN| maiM phira dubArA unake ghara pahu~cA, to zava dekhane pahu~cA / maiM samaya para pahu~ca jAtA, to prAzA hai, vaha marane na paatiiN| vaha mujhe bahuta pyAra karatI thIM / apane beTe ko bhI itanA na karatI hoNgii|" premakRSNa cupa ho rahe / pramoda ne rUmAla muha para phera kara kahanA jArI rakhA____ "vaha bar3I snehazIlA thiiN| sabako vaha pyAra karatI thiiN| maiM unakI bAtoM ko sunakara aghAtA na thA; kyoMki una saba meM unakA sneha bahatA rahatA thaa| vaha aksara lAlA-devara-kA jikra karatI thiiN| ghaNToM ho jAte, lAlA kI bAtoM kA pAra na pAtA / unakA atIta lAlA-lAlA-lAlA se bharA thaa| eka paga bhI usameM rakhatIM ki lAlA kI kisI-na-kisI bAta-se A tthkraatiiN| vaha bAta phira jI meM vidroha macAtI huI umar3a aatii| aura usake bAda silasilA bA~dhakara lAlA kI mUrti ke sAtha jur3I huI aura-aura saba bAteM bhI, sinemA-citroM kI bhA~ti Akara phiratI huI calI jAtIM, aura usI prakAra katAra bA~dhakara A~sU bhI Dhulakate cale aate| __maiM kucha vaise hI eka bAra ke sAkSAtkAra se, svargIya choTe cAcA ke prati kucha Ardra bhAva rakhatA thaa| aba ve atyanta komala aura atyanta dRr3ha ho gaye / maiMne unake citra ko apane sAmane bilakula pratyakSa kara liyaa| unake jIvana aura mRtyu ke pratyeka vivaraNa se maiMne apane ko avagata kara liyaa|

Page #83
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga ] idhara cAcI sunAyA karatI thIM, udhara zAma ko maukA pAkara cAcAjI vahI apane choTe bhAI kI hatyA kA hAla sunAte the / jinhoMne unake bhAI kI hatyA kI, una sabake nAma vaha jAnate haiM / isa bAre meM unheM bilakula hI sandeha nahIM hai / pramANa asandigdha haiM / para lAkha koziza karane para bhI unameM kisI ko bhI saz2A na mila sakI / gA~va kA gA~va jo vipakSa meM hokara, eka bana baiThA hai, usake kAraNa gavAha nahIM mila pAte haiM, yaha a~dherakhAtA hai / 78 jina-jinake nAma batAye gae ki inhoMne usa hatyA meM bhAga liyA thA, ve mere apane-Apa duzmana bana ge| unameM DAlacanda kA nAma aura usakA bhAga pramukha thA / pahale usI ne lAThI mArI thI, isa bAre meM kAphI sabUta cAcA pA cuke haiN| isameM koI zaka hai hI nahIM / usa krUra ne girane para bhI kaI lAThiyA~ mArI thiiN| vahI choTe cAcA kA hatyArA hai / yaha bhI patA calA thA, ki vaha abhI taka inakA karz2adAra hai aura usa silasile meM jaba kabhI milatA hai, bar3I bhalamanasAhata se milatA hai / bar3A vinIta bana jAtA hai / vyavahAra calana meM bar3I milI bhagata rakhatA hai / Aye gaye nega-kAja para cAcA ke yahA~ nyautA taka bheja detA hai / bAta mIThI karatA hai, para bhItara churI hai| pAsa eka gA~va hai, usakA cAra AnA mAlika hai | bar3A robavAlA aura rasUkhavAlA AdamI hai; para eka nambara kA badamAza hai / kambakhta kisI taraha hAtha nahIM AtA / isake bAda parasAdIlAla, mAdhorAma ke bhI nAma Ate the| unhoMne bhI apane mana kI karane meM kasara nahIM kI hai / ve saba loga maukA pAe~, to hamAre ghara ke hareka AdamI ko mAra ddaaleN| jaise-taise bar3e Dhaba se, yaha to cAcA baca rahe haiM; nahIM to mauke kI talAza meM rahate haiM / cUkane vAle nahIM haiM / ina saba bAtoM se maiM bar3A sazaMka hokara rahatA thA / yaha DAlacanda nAma kA AdamI kaisA hai, kauna hai, yaha jAnanA cAhatA thA, phira bhI nahIM jAnanA cAhatA thA / vaha mAlUma kara le, ki meM inakA riztedAra hU~, to

Page #84
' mauta kI kahAnI 76 mujha para hI na hAtha sApha kara baiThe / mAdho ke dene na Udho ke lene meM rahanevAle, eka ha~samukha, miThabola, nirIha prAraNI ko jaba yaha DAlacanda apane sAthiyoM ko lekara lAThiyoM se kucala-kucalakara mAra sakA, to usake hAtha se aura bhI kucha kyoM nahIM vaisA hI AsAnI se ho sakegA, yaha mere mana meM nahIM baiThatA thaa| maiMne gAMva ke pAsa ke bAga ke kinAre kI jAmuna ke per3oM aura kucha jhAr3iyoM se DhakI huI vaha timirAcchanna jagaha kaI bAra dekhI aura usake sAtha milAna karake hara-hara bAra usa DAlacanda kI kAlI ghanI bhayaMkaratA bhI apane mana se sAkAra banAkara dekha lii| sAtha hI kabhI-kabhI maiM yaha socatA thA ki yadi eka ora se vizvAsa aura sacAI ke sAtha maitrI kA hAtha bar3hAyA jAya, to kyA vaha dUsarI ora kI barbaratA utanI hI krUra banI rahegI ? kyA vaha kucha kama kaThina na hogI ? aura kyA yaha acchA na hogA ? gA~va meM rahate-rahate mujhe pandraha-bIsa dina ho gye| jindagI meM itane dinoM meM koI naI bAta hI sAmane nahIM AI, jisameM svAda mAlUma hotaa| jaisA Aja kA dina, vaisA hI kala kA dina, ThIka bilakula vaise hI aura saba dina / mana lagAne ko aura bahalAne ko yahA~ adala-badala koI z2arA bhI nahIM milii| eka-sA sapATa jIvana, koI car3hAva-utAra nhiiN|-meraa isase jI bhara gyaa| jise mai bhUkha samajhatA thA, vaha zAyada bhUkha nahIM hogii| kyoMki gA~va kA svAda cakhane-cakhane meM hI maiM to aghA uThA thA, acchI taraha cabAkara use bhItara DAlane kA avasara bhI nahIM Ane diyaa| bhUkha hotI, to binA itanA kiye miTatI ? __ khaira, to mujhe usa samaya bar3A ArAma milA jaba cAcA ne kahA, "calo, Aja eka dAvata khAne calanA hai|" maiMne kahA, "kahA~ calanA hai ?"

Page #85
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavI bhAga ] unhoMne kahA, " pAsa hI eka gA~va hai / dUra nahIM hai| zahara kI dAvateM dekhI haiM, eka yaha bhI dekho / " bIsa roz2a meM eka to cIz2a milI, use bhI chor3a detA ? - maiM jhaTapaTa bilakula taiyAra ho gayA / 80 dAvata kyA thI viDambanA thI / una guTThala-sI kacauriyoM ko sAmane lAkara kahA jAtA 'bAbUjI, yaha aura lIjie, bar3I karArI hai, garamAgarama, to jI hotA, uThAkara pheMka dUM / sAga meM namaka hai, to mirca nahIM, aura masAloM kA to nAma na lIjie / basa dahI - bUrA, dahI - bUrA / jyonAra kyA thI, dahI-bUrA thA / vahI sapoLe jAo / aura sacamuca loga aise paTTe mAra rahe the, ki sur3ar3asapa kI AvAja dUra taka sunAI par3e / " eka ne kahA, "bAbUjI ko dahI denA, dahI / " jisase kahA gayA, vaha mere pAsa AyA hI thA, ki cillAyA, parasAdI, zrI parasAdI, vaha bUrA uThAtA lA / " maiM haThAt isa parasAdI nAma ke AdamI ko dekhane meM laga gayA / idhara dahI vAle prAdamI ne Dhera-sA dahI pattala para bikhera diyA | vaha parasAdI bUrA lekara merI tarapha zrAyA / kAlA ceharA hai, A~kheM surucipUrNa nahIM haiM / bAla, abhI kaTI dUba se haiM, mUcheM ghanI - kAlI haiM / maiMne kahA, "maiM bUrA nahIM lU~gA / " parasAdI ne pasa bharakara bUrA pattala para DAla dene kA irAdA karate hue kahA, "bAbUjI, thor3A le lIjie / " maiMne pattala ko donoM bA~hoM se Dhakakara kahA, "maiM nahIM lU~gA, nahIM luuNgaa|" ." bAbUjI thor3A to lenA hI hogA" - yaha kahakara vaha pasa-bhara bUrA usane vahIM chor3a diyA / usameM se kucha mere hAthoM para nA rahA, kucha jagaha pAkara pattala meM jA girA aura vaha kAlA muha lekara parasAdI isa para ha~sane lagA /

Page #86
mauta kI kahAnI isa parasAdI nAmaka kulakSaraNa vyakti ko kyoM ekAeka mere zrAtithya ke prati sAgraha ho uThanA cAhie, yaha usa samaya mere liye bar3I durbhAvanAoM kA viSaya bana gayA / kucha dera bAda maiMne samajhA ki maiMne isakA bheda samajha liyA / 1 81 isa sapheda pirAmiDa ke bhItara dabe hu dahI-sAgara se, itane logoM ke bIca meM baiThakara, maiM kyA karake apanA piMDa chur3AU~ / isako socakara kucha nizcaya karU~ ki eka nAma pighale- sIse kI taraha kAna meM sanasanAtA calA gayA / kisI ne kahA, "cAcA DAlacanda, bAbUjI ko dahI diyA hai, eka kacaurI to aura de jAnA / " maiMne ekadama prA~ Upara uThAkara dekhA / DAlacanda tAjA kacauriyoM kA DallA lekara ha~satA huA mere sAmane AyA / gorA-bharA ceharA thA, majabUta hAtha-pA~va the / bilakula ga~vAra nahIM mAlUma hotA thA / zrA~kheM ha~sa rahI thIM, jAne kyoM ha~sa rahI thIM / Akara bolA, "lo bAbUjI, eka kacaurI to mere hAtha kI bhI lo / " hAya rAma, yaha kyA ho rahA hai ! maiM kucha bola nahIM sakA, hAtha pattala ke Upara karake phailA diye / 'bAbUjI, yaha bAta nahIM hogI' -- usane kahA, "eka to lenI hI par3egI / " aura yaha kahakara bar3I tarakIba se eka kacaurI usane merI pattala ke bIcoM-bIca DAla hI dI / aba maiM usa kacaurI ko lekara kyA karU~ ? use usI DAlacanda ke, vehayAI se ha~sate, cehare para pheMkakara mAra sakUM, to ThIka ho jAya; lekina itane bar3e jana-samudAya se ghira kara - jo aba bar3e sammAna aura Agraha ke sAtha mujha zaharI sabhya ko hI dekha rahA thA - yaha mujha se kisI taraha bhI nahIM bana sakA / aura meM cupacApa usa kacaurI ko eka hAtha se cUra-cUra karake, usakI ekAdha kinakI ko bUre ke Dhera se chunA kara mu~ha calAcalAkara khAne kA dikhAvA karane lagA /

Page #87
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtava bhAga ] jaba paMgata uThI, to isa bhArI saMkaTa se meM chuuttaa| rAma-rAma karake, bhaTapaTa hAtha vAtha dhokara, bAhara nikalakara, kaba ghara bhAga jAne kA maukA milegA, yaha soca rahA thA / lekina bAhara AtA hU~, to dekhatA hU~, dvAra roke pAnoM ke thAla liye logoM kI eka bhIr3a khar3I hai / 82 maiM pAsa AyA, to sunA, kisI ne kahA, "cAcA DAlacanda, bAbUjI ko pAna do / " mur3akara dekhA, to kahanevAlA hai, "parasAdI / " DAlacanda ne eka bar3A-sA bIr3A dekhakara, thAlI meM se uThAkara, ha~sate hue, mere sAmane kara diyA / jhapaTakara use lete hue meM daravAje se bAhara ho gayA / pAna pheMka dene kI kahIM suvidhA mujhe nahIM mila rahI thI; isalie upayukta avasara aura sthAna kI pratIkSA meM meM pAna ke bIr3e ko hAtha meM hI liye thA, ki cAcA ne kahA, "z2arA rUmAla denA / " maiM bAyeM hAtha se bAyIM tarapha kI jeba TaTolane lagA / lekina rUmAla thA koTa ke dAyIM tarapha ke andara kI jeba meM / cAcA ne kahA, "nikAlA ?" bAyeM hAtha se usa jeba meM se rUmAla nikAlane meM kaThinatA ho rahI thii| maiMne jhaTa usa hAtha ko khIMcakara, usameM pAna lekara, dAhinA hAtha jeba kI tarapha bar3hAnA cAhA / isI samaya -- "are, abhI taka rUmAla nahIM nikalA !" - kahate hue unhoMne merI ora mur3akara merI saMkaTApanna avasthA ko dekha liyaa| pUchA, "are, hAtha meM yaha kyA hai, pAna hai ! rakha kyoM chor3A hai, khA kyoM nahIM letA ?" maiMne kahA, "maiM khAtA nahIM hU~ pAna / " "aiM, khAtA nahIM hai !" - unhoMne kahA, "khA- khUkara khatama kara / kyA tamAzA banA chor3A hai / " yaha kahakara jaise vaha mere hAtha se lekara pAna mere muha meM dene ko ho gaye /

Page #88
'mauta kI kahAnI taba maiMne svayaM use muha meM le liyA / cabAnA zurU karanA thA, ki jhaTa thUka DAlane ke lie mujhe kahIM daur3akara alaga jAnA par3a gayA / halaka taka se sArA thUka maiMne bar3e jora ke sAtha khakhAra-khakhora kara nikAla diyA aura pAsa ke per3a kI chA~ha meM par3I eka cArapAI para leTa gayA / * * sira cakarA rahA thA / badana meM sanasanAhaTa - so phaila rahI thii| jo meM ubakAI A rahI thI aura dharatI AsamAna bhUlane laga gayA thA / saba-kucha jaise mujhe bIca meM karake mere cAroM ora cakarAne lagA / * aba jaise saba kucha ThIka-ThIka samajha meM Ane lagA / sira meM ruI dhunI jA rahI thI, phira bhI vicAroM meM adbhuta saMgati thI / pAgala ho jAnejaisI koI bhI bAta nahIM thI / hareka bAta kA kArya-kAraNa aura pariNAmasambandha ThIka milA karake baiThA sakatA thA / saMzaya nahIM rahA, ki kUca kA vakta aba prAyA, aba AyA / mahAyAtrA ke lie prasthAna karane se pahale jahA~ baiThe haiM, vahA~ se kaise vidA lenI cAhie, yaha prazna apanI spaSTatA meM sAmane A gayA / maiM usI ko nizcita karane meM lagA aura idhara-udhara kI bAta koI bhI mujhe taMga karane nahIM AI / ghabar3AhaTa kucha nahIM thI, jaldI bilakula nahIM thI / jahara hai, kyA hai; sambhava ho sakatA hai, ki bhUla se kahIM kucha kama z2aharIlA raha gayA ho; upAya kI sambhAvanA ho sakatI hai, kama-se-kama vaisI ceSTA Avazyaka hai - prAdi-Adi vicAra mujhe asthira nahIM kara pAye / jAnA hai, so kisa taraha khUbI ke sAtha jAyA jAya, yahI eka vicAra mujhe vaza meM kiye thaa| mere cupacApa uTha jAne kI bAta kramazaH mAtA-pitA, bahanabhAI ko mAlUma ho hI jAyagI, isakI cintA karane kI AvazyakatA nahIM hai / unake jI meM eka kasaMkatA huA prabhAva raha jAyagA -- isakA halakA-sA AbhAsa hRdaya meM kSaraNa-bhara ko udita huA; kintu phira vaha vilApa kA rUpa dhAraNa karegA, kaisA dAruNa vilApa macegA -- ina saba -

Page #89
84 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [sAtavAM bhAga] sambhAvanAoM para jAkara phirane kA avakAza mere vicAra ko nahIM milaa| basa, isI eka prazna ko kendra banAkara merI samagra mAnavIya cetanatA usake cAroM ora, sulajhAne ke yatna meM parikramA karatI huI ghUmane lagI, ki kisa prakAra apanI bidA ko sundara banAkara yahA~ se apane ko maiM mukta kruuN| socA-kyA yaha nahIM ho sakatA, ki yaha saba ApasI vaira-bhAva ko merI lAza ke Upara milakara A~khoM kI rAha bahA deM aura paramAtmA ke do sage putroM kI bhA~ti hila-milakara rheN| mujhe marate hue kI tarapha dekhakara kyA yaha loga merI antima abhilASA ko mAna lene ke lie vivaza nahIM ho jAe~ge ? marate-marate maiM agara eka ke hAthoM ko dUsare ke hAthoM meM dekara donoM ke A~sU apane Upara DhalavA sakA, to maiM phira bar3I sukha-zAnti ke sAtha A~kha mIca luuNgaa| mRtyu phira mere lie bar3I sundara ho jaaygii| samajhUgA, jIvana isa mauta meM Akara sArthaka ho gyaa| usa sukhada dRzya ko utpanna karake phira use isa dharatI para apane pIche cirantana-rUpa meM jIvita rahane ke lie A~kha mIMcakara, cupacApa cala dene ke lie mujhe kyA darda zeSa raha jaaygaa| maiM phira mAnoM amara hokara apane sRSTa kiye hue isI svarga-dRzya ke loka meM rahane ke lie calA jaauuNgaa| ____ mana kI vaisI vimala zAnti aura sthiratA ( Equipoise ) usake pahale aura usake bAda maiMne phira kabhI anubhava nahIM kii| lekina badana mAnoM aiMTha rahA thA / aisI kucha micalAhaTa jI meM maca rahI thI, ki jaise aMtar3iyA~ bhItara se ubaka kara. bAhara hokara, eka-eka bikhara jonA cAhatI haiN| eka AdamI udhara se jA rahA thaa| sahasA mujhe vahA~ par3A dekhakara mere pAsa AyA aura vismita praznavAcaka dRSTi se merI ora dekhane lgaa| bahuta sAhasa karake usane pUchA, "kyA huA ?" _maiMne jaise-taise, saMketa se kucha bolakara use yaha samajhA diyA ki cAcA ko turanta yahA~ AnA caahie|

Page #90
mauta kI kahAnI lagabhaga turanta cAcA vahA~ A gye| pUchane lage, "kyoM kyA huA ?" usa samaya mere dila meM eka sAtha kaisI vinIta yAcanA aura kaise dur3ha vizvAsa ke bhAva kA udaya ho pAyA thA, vaha saba-kucha merI A~khoM meM pA rahA hogaa| maiMne vANI ko bilakula sthira banAne kI ceSTA karate hue kahA, "huA kucha nahIM hai| jarA jI micalAtA hai / " phira leTe-leTe, barAbara kI khATa para baiThe aura hairAna hokara mujhe dekhate hue cAcA ke cehare para apanI usa samaya kI A~khoM ko bharapUra jamAkara aura unake donoM hAtha apane hAthoM meM lekara maiM unako dekhatA raha gyaa| cAcA ne ghabar3Akara kahA, "aisA kyA huA hai ?" maiM phira A~kha nIcI karake rone lgaa| cAcA ne apane hAthoM ko usI taraha mere hAthoM meM rahane diyA aura vaha merI ora dekhane lge| ___ maiM unheM kisa taraha se kahU~, ki maiM yahA~ kucha minaToM ke lie aura huuN| aura una minaToM meM vaha jaldI karake isa bhatIje ko pyAra kara leM aura DAlacanda Adi ko bulA deM; kyoMki unakA bhatIjA ina minaToM meM yahA~ kI dharatI ko svarga banAkara cala denA cAhatA hai| jyAdA samaya usake pAsa nahIM hai| meM unake donoM hAthoM ko mIMja-mIMjakara kabhI apane gAla ke nIce karake aura kabhI A~khoM ke pAsa pherakara khUba rone lgaa| unhoMne kahA, "are, bAta kyA hai, kyA bAta hai ? kucha kaha bhii|" meM kaha kyA pAtA ? sisaka-sisakakara raha jaataa| kucha dera bAda mAnoM apane Apase kahA, "Thaharo, DAlacanda se jAkara kahatA huuN| abhI sAikila para car3hakara zahara se DAkTara ko bulAkara laae| lar3akA ro kyoM rahA hai, jAne kyA ho gayA hai|" phira vaha tejI se uThakara andara ko cale gye| hAya ! cAcA, tuma DAlacanda ko kahIM mata bhejo aura DAkTara ko

Page #91
86 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] mata bulaao| kucha phAyadA nahIM hai / aura tuma saba loga yahA~ aayo| merI eka bAta suno| maiM bahuta nahIM karU~gA, basa, vaha...mAna lenaa| maiM sukhI ho jAU~gA aura tumhArA ahasAna mAnUgA / aura calA jaauuNgaa| cAcA ke lauTane para yaha saba bAteM unheM samajhA dUgA / aura bar3I acchI bAta hogI ki DAlacanda bhI unake sAtha hoMge / vaha merI bAta avazya mAna leNge| marate hue ke jI kI eka bAta nahIM mAneMge ? vaha jarUra mAna leNge| basa ! ___ itanA kahakara pramoda cupa ho rahA / hama saba cupa baiThe the| cupa baiThe-baiThe eka-do-tIna minaTa ho gaye / cauthA bItane laga gyaa| yaha pramoda kyoM yoM cupa hokara kursI para A baiThA hai / phira kyA huA, kahatA kyoM nahIM / hArakara isa sannATe ko tor3akara premakRSNa ne kahA, "phira ?" pramoda ne kahA, "phira kyA, basa / " premakRSNa ne jhallAkara kahA, "are to phira kyA huA ? lauTakara Aye, DAkTara Aye, phira kaise huA ?" pramoda ne ha~sakara kahA, "basa, kahAnI khatama ho gii| honA-jAnA kyA thaa|" premakRSNa ne aura bhI khIjhakara kahA, "to tuma yahA~ kaise baiThe ho ? ThIka batAo, kyA huA, tuma kaise baca gaye ?" pramoda ne kahA, "baca kahA~ gayA, mara gyaa| marakara phira jI gayA aura aba yahA~ A gayA huuN|" , ___premakRSNa ne kahA, "kyA phajUla bakate ho jI ! ThIka batAyo, phira kyA huA, kyA nahIM ? phira tuma baca kaise gaye ? bar3A hoziyAra DAkTara hogA, yA usa DAlacanda ko jahara denA nahIM AyA hogaa|" pramoda ne kucha aura jhikAkara kahA, "acchA, batA hI dU?" sabane batAye jAne kI icchA prakaTa kii| pramoda ne kahA, "vahA~ se baca gayA, to yahA~ pApa loga mujhe nahIM mArane lageMge ?"

Page #92
mauta kI kahAnI hama saba loga ha~sa pdd'e| para ha~sI meM usane bAta ur3a nahIM jAne do / usane sabase vacana lekara hI chodd'aa| kahA, "eka bAra mauta meM par3akara aba bAra-bAra marane kI icchA nahIM raha gaI hai / isalie khUba soca-samajhakara calanA cAhatA hU~ / " sabase vAyade lekara aura saba kucha pakkA karake usane kahA, "uTho, calo / pAna meM z2arA-sI tambAkU par3a gaI thI / " meM uThakara cala diyA | pramoda ke bajAya hama sabane apane sAmane kI mez2a ko khUba jora-jora se pITanA zurU kara diyA ! 87

Page #93
rukiyA bur3hiyA bur3hiyA kA nAma rukiyA hai / isa muhalle meM vaha tIna barasa se raha rahI hai | muhalle vAloM ko isakA patA nahIM hai / zahara hai, apane-apane dhandhoM se kisI ko bahuta samaya nahIM bacatA hai / tisa para, vaha bur3hiyA hai / hA~, jaba Ate-Ate hI usane sA~jha ke mela meM, jamanAjI se lauTatI belA isa bAlikA yA usa bAlaka ke hAtha meM Apa hI Apa phUla dene Arambha kiye, to caTa muhalle ke saba bAlaka use jAna gaye, to unake pAsa isa bur3hiyA ke lie banA-banAyA nAma thA hI, nAnI / vaha inakI nAnI bur3hiyA ho gaI / hote-hote nAnI se bhI bAlakoM ko santoSa honA kama hone lagA / sambodhana meM mAno jitanA apane jI kA apanApA ve bAlaka bhara denA cAhate haiM, yaha nAnI zabda utanA apane meM dhAraNa nahIM rakha sakatA hai / yaha zabda jaise kahIM zrochA raha jAtA hai / eka sA~jha bur3hiyA jamanA se phUloM kI DaliyA sira para rItI liye lauTatI thii| tabhI rAha meM bAlakoM ke isa UdhamI dala ne ghera kara use roka liyA / ve saba ke saba jarUra jarUra eka- eka phUla apane lie leMge / dekha lenA, binA liye Tala jAya~ to | cillAkara bole, "nAnI bur3hiyA, phUla de / " 88

Page #94
* rukiyA bur3hiyA usI samaya usa jhuDa meM kI sarasoM beTI ne kahA, "nAnI nahIM..." aura mAno gAkara kahA, "nAno bur3hiyA, phUla de|" anAyAsa nAnI usa sarasvatI kumArI ke kaNTha meM se nAno banakara nikliiN| aura turanta vahA~ khar3e bAlakoM ne pratyakSa dekha liyA ki nAnI kA yaha navAviSkRta rUpa, nAno, unake mana ke adhika bhItara hai / nAnoarthAt hamArI apanI nAnI / nAnI meM apanA nijatva bharA jAya, to kisa taraha use nAno bana uThanA hogA-yaha hamArI samajha meM kucha bhI nahIM A sakA hai; para saca, bAlakoM ko laga rahA hai ki nAno banAkara nAnI ko unhoMne apane jI meM jaise aura gaharA utAra liyA hai| bAlaka-buddhi hI to hai ! phUla aba bilakula bisara gaye, aura hilamilakara ve saba doharAne lage, "nAno bur3hiyA, phUla de| nAno bar3hiyA phUla de|" aura usa bur3hiyA ke cAroM ora ve bAlaka uchala-kUda bhI macAne lge| bur3hiyA ne kahA, "phUla rahe nahIM, bettaa|" yaha bur3hiyA bhI kaisI hai ! phUla rahe nahIM, to isameM kauna bahuta bar3e anyAya kI bAta hai ? para yaha unakI bur3hiyA kyoM acchI taraha nahIM suna pAtI hai ki vaha nAnI nahIM, nAnI se bar3hakara Aja se vaha nAno hai| unhoMne kahA, "nAno bur3iyA phUla de|" bur3hiyA ne kahA, "phUla nibaTa gaye, bettaa|" sarasoM ne kahA, "bur3hiyA tU nAnI hai ?" "hA~ beTA..." bAlA ne jora se kahA, "nahIM, tU nAnI nahIM hai|" bAlikA ne batAyA, "nAnI nahIM hai, bur3hiyA, tU nAno hai / nAno bur3hiyA hai|" bur3hiyA ke jI meM huA, vaha isa pyArI nannI ko uThAkara tanika pyAra kara le / kaisI phUla-sI hai ! para, soca AyA, vaha bur3hiyA hai, aura usake kapar3e cIthar3e haiM, aura maile haiM, aura usakI deha meM hAr3a bar3e nikala rahe haiM / baccI ddregii| usane kahA, "acchA beTA !"

Page #95
jainendra kI kahAniyAM [sAtavI bhAga] sarasoM ne kahA, "nAno bur3hiyA, tU phUla nahIM lAI hamAre lie ?" bur3hiyA ne kahA, "kala lAU~gI, beTA, kala z2arUra laauuNgii|" devendra urpha dibbU ne pUchA, "nAno rI, tU kaba maregI ?" dillU (dilIpakumAra) ne kahA "jaba mare, hama se kaha diijiyo| binA kahe mata mriyo| hama satta-rAma kreNge| nAno, hama saba sAtha cleNge|" "acchA bettaa|" sarasvatI ne kucha socakara kahA, "nAno bur3hiyA, tU maregI, maiM tere pai phUla DAlUgI / jitte phala hoMge, saba DAla duuNgii|" bur3hiyA ke hAthoM meM DaliyA thii| aAMkheM usakI bhIgane ko prA gaIM, aura vaha unheM poMcha sakI nhiiN| bolI, "nahIM beTA, phUla tuma saba bAMTa lenA / maraghaTa meM kyA acche lageMge, tumhAre hAthoM meM phUla acche lgeNge|" aba bur3hiyA ko kauna batAye ki nahIM, acche lagane kI bAta bilakula nahIM hai| aisI sarasvatI mUrakha nahIM hai / so kyA usake jI meM yaha hai ki maraghaTa meM phUla acche lageMge ? para, nAnI ko jaba hoza nahIM rahegA, taba lar3ake saba-ke-saba usake phUloM para hallA macAnA cAheMge; so, taba nAnI kA eka bhI phUla vaha idhara-udhara kisI ko nahIM le jAne degI-hA~; 'ekAeka nAnI kI arthI para cinakara rakha degI-yaha sArI bAta hai| unne kahA, "tU to mara jAyagI, nAnI, tujhe kucha bhI patA nahIM calegA, aura maiM saba-ke-saba phUla tere para hI ddaaluuNgii|" aura vaha aisI sannaddha-sI khar3I ho gaI, jaise phUla Dala rahe haiM, aura 'vaha dekhane ko taiyAra hai, kauna hai jo eka bhI phUla le jAnA cAhatA hai| nAnI ne kahA, "acchA bettaa|" nimmo nAma vAlI nirmalA ne kahA, "nAnI, tU acchI nahIM hai| hameM tU phUla nahIM lAke detI roz2a / " eka aura ne usakI dhotI pakar3akara kahA, "nAnI, hameM DaliyA dikhA, phUla haiM tere pAsa / "

Page #96
rukiyA bur3hiyA nAnI ne kahA, "nahIM haiM beTA, aura DaliyA nIcI kara dii|" usa DaliyA meM jo phUla kI pattiyA~ aura TUTe batAze, tulasI aura bela ke patte, aura nAja ke dAne par3e the, ekadama una para chIna-jhapaTa maca pdd'ii| DaliyA sambhAle rakhanA bur3hiyA ko muzkila ho gayA / / ___ aba bolo, yaha kahIM kA zaUra hai ! bur3hiyA ne kahA, "calo, htto| nahIM hai koI phUla-vUla-hA~, to...badamAza / " aura yaha kahane ke sAtha bur3hiyA ne apanI DaliyA chinA lenI caahii| isase kama, yA isase adhika, bAlakoM ko aura kyA cAhie thaa| kucha idhara ho gaye, kucha udhara ho gaye, aura aba DaliyA ke sAtha, svayaM bur3hiyA para chIna-jhapaTI-sI karane lge| bur3hiyA ko kucha sUjha nahIM par3A / use gussA ho gayA, aura DaliyA thAme, saba prahAroM ko bacAtI huI, usI hAtha se apanI ora se bhI kucha prahAra-sI karane lgii| - itane meM hI kauzala se DaliyA usake hAtha se china gaI, aura sAmane hI va dUra pheMka dI gaI, aura bAlaka phurra ho gaye / bur3hiyA cupacApa apanI DaliyA uThAkara bar3abar3AtI huI apane sthAna ko calI gii| isa taraha bAlakoM ke sahAre vaha bar3hiyA rahatI hai / aura kahIM usakA sahArA nahIM hai| saba ora TUTa cukI hai, kisI bhI prora aura hilagA huA bandhana zeSa nahIM hai| aba apane hRdaya ke sAre tAroM ko ina bAlakoM meM aTakAkara vaha jI rahI hai / inase ulajha letI hai, ha~sa letI hai; unheM kosa letI hai, aura pyAra kara letI hai| inhIM ko lekara prA~suoM ke kar3ave ghUTa pI letI hai, inhIM se phira apane jI ko harA bhI kara letI hai;vaha bur3hiyA isI bhA~ti jI letI hai| eka choTI-sI koTharI meM rahatI hai| vahA~ pahale eka kI gAya ba~dhatI

Page #97
12 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [sAtavAM bhAMga] thii| bar3I muzkila meM vahI koTharI use mila gaI hai, usI ko gobara se sutharA karake, apanI cIz2a-basta lekara vahIM rahatI hai| usakA Der3ha rupayA mahIne kirAyA detI hai, aura usameM sIla bhI kama nahIM hai, aura cUhe bhI kama nahIM haiM, aura dhUpa vahA~ kabhI dIkhatI nahIM hai, aura gAya-baila bhI par3osa ke lAlA-sAhaba ke barAbara meM rahate haiM, aura vaha paramAtmA ko dhanyavAda detI huI usa koTharI meM rahe AtI hai| vaha sabake hAtha jor3ane ko taiyAra hai, aura apane jIne ke lie paramAtmA se lekara saba AdamiyoM kI kRtajJa hai| __ phUla vAlI hai, phala aura patte lekara sA~jha-savere jamanAjI pai jAtI hai| vahA~ se jo pAtI hai, usameM se makAna-mAlika ko kirAyA detI hai, peTa pAla letI hai, aura bahuta-kucha bAlakoM meM bA~Ta detI hai| tar3ake-sabere tIna baje uThakara jamanAjI ke lie vaha cala par3atI hai| bela ke aura tulasI ke patte, aura batAze Adi saba-kucha vaha apanI DaliyA meM sahI-zAma se hI ThIka karake rakha detI hai| para phUla sabere-hAla DAla se utAre le jAtI hai| isa koTharI meM jisameM dina meM rAta rahatI hai, aura rAta meM jisameM usa bur3hiyA aura una cUhoM ke atirikta zAyada kevala naraka hI raha sakatA hai-usa koTharI meM kaise patA calAtI hai ki tIna baja gaye, samaya ho gayA, aba cala par3anA hogA ! para isameM cUka nahIM hotii| phUla lekara koI nahIM pahu~catA, tabhI jamanAjI pahu~ca jAtI hai, aura sar3aka ke mor3a para baiTha jAtI hai| baiThI-baiThI DaliyA sAmane lie vaha socatI hai...nahIM, socatI nahIM hai / socane ko usake pAsa hai kyA ? saba ThIka-hI ThIka hai, so usake mana meM mAlika ke lie dhanyavAda hI hai| aura kucha nirmAlya ke A~sU bhI haiN|...nhiiN, socatI nahIM hai,...ThiThurI basa baiThI rahatI hai |...nhiiN jI, ThiThurI bhI kahA~ baiThI rahatI hai-basa, tabhI jamanA vAloM kA AnA-jAnA laga jAtA hai| usa samaya vaha kAma se bhara uThatI

Page #98
63 rukiyA bur3hiyA hai| jaldI-jaldI phUla-parazAda ke done lagAne lagatI hai / kahatI hai, 'mAIjI, phUla-parazoda le jaao|" ___ aura mAI phUla-parazAda kA donA le jAtI haiN| kahatI haiM, "rukiyA, acchI hai ?" rukiyA prasAda kA dUsarA donA lagA rahI hotI hai, AbhAra meM, nika Upara dekha sakuca rahatI hai, aura dUsarA donA dUsarI mAI ke hAtha meM thamA detI hai| vaha isa samaya bar3I prasanna ho jAtI hai| ye jo roja prasAdI le jAtI haiM, inameM se vaha kisake nAma nahIM jAnatI hai, sabake hI jAnatI hogii| unake beTe-potoM ke bAre meM bhI thor3A-bahuta jAnatI hai| kabhI-kabhI donA detI huI pUchatI hai, "prajI tumhArA nayA munnA to acchA hai ?" uttara milatA, "bar3A daMgA karane lagA hai jI vaha to-" vaha kahatI, "bhagavAna bar3I umara de|" ina itanI janiyoM ke sukhoM-dukhoM meM jAnakArI aura sahAnubhUti rakhakara use apanA alaga kucha na rakhane kA abhAva bisara jAtA hai| kahatI jAtI hai-'mAIjI parazAda le jAo, parazAda car3hAyo,' aura vaha tatparatA ke sAtha parazAda ke done detI jAtI hai| jisake hAtha meM jo hotA hai, DAlatI huI apane done sa~bhAle mAI calatI calI jAtI haiM / koI paisA DAla detI hai, koI AdhI muTThI gehU~ DaliyA ke pAsa biche vastra para bikhera detI hai, koI passa-bhara jau girA detI hai, koI mansUrI tA~bA pheMka jAtI hai / koI-koI puNyavatI ikannI bhI DAla jAtI hai / bur3hiyA sabako eka-sI prasannatA aura udyatatA ke sAtha prasAda detI jAtI hai| badale meM use kauna kyA diye jA rahA hai, use bilakula hI dhyAna nahIM rhtaa| hA~, ikannI giratI hai, taba use patA cale binA nahIM rhtaa| saba chor3a, pahale vaha use apane salUke ke bhItara kI jeba meM rakha letI hai| koI binA kucha diye hI calI jAtI hai| bur3hiyA nahIM jAnatI, so nahIM; para

Page #99
64 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga ] aisI kauna-kauna haiM, yaha usane kabhI bhI apane mana ko diyA hai| eka hI zraddhA bhAva se sabako done detI hai / usase nahIM chipatA sahI; para ikannI DAlane vAlI isa bhIr3a meM se khAsa kauna hai, mAno yaha pahacAna aura yAda rakhane kI usameM sAmarthya nahIM hai / kabhI koI mAI kahatI hai, "rukiyA, Aja meM paisA lAnA bhUla gaI hU~, aura bhI kucha nahIM lA sakI hU~ / " taba rukiyA ko aisA pratIta hotA hai, jaise kisI abhiyoga kA zrAropa usa para kiyA jA rahA hai / vaha bacAva sA karatI hai, kahatI hai, "jI, maiMne kabhI kucha kahA hai. ?" mAI kahatI, "kala letI AU~gI, rukiyA / " aura rukiyA kA jI mAno ekadama kaThora ho jAnA caahtaa| usake jI maiM hotA, kaha dU~, to kala hI le jAnA prasAda' para usase kisI bhA~ti bhI kaThoratA prakaTa karate na banatI, zraura vaha tiraskRta aparAdhI kI bhA~ti kuNThA se lajA utthtii| use lagatA, hA~, vaha svayaM ina phUla-pattoM ke car3hAve ke donoM ko mola tola kI cIz2a banAkara baiThI hai ! aura tabhI jaise isa pApamayI cetanA kA nirAkaraNa kara DAlane meM saceSTa hokara usakA jI kahatA, nahIM, maiM inheM mola karake becatI nahIM hU~ | maiM to de detI hU~, aura phira usI taraha dUsaroM kA aura paramAtmA kA prasAda rUpa meM dAna diyA huA jo pAtI hU~, usa pai jI letI huuN| aura vaha kahatI, "mAMjI, kaisI bAta tuma kahatI ho !" patA nahIM calane ikannI giranA aura mA~jI bhI anubhava karatIM ki vaha prayukta bAta hI kahatI thIM, aura saMkocapUrvaka bur3hiyA ke hAthoM se donA lekara calI jAtIM / koI dasa baje dina taka yaha rahatA hai / taba taka vaha aisI rahatI hai, mAno usake bhItara koI prabhAva vidyamAna nahIM hai / prAte-jAte se bekAma bhI khuza hokara do bAta kara letI hai; zrAsa-pAsa phUlavAliyoM se kucha kI bAtacIta bhI ho jAtI hai, aura kinhIM kinhIM se rasIlA bhI kucha ho jAtA hai /

Page #100
rukiyA bur3hiyA 65. phira taTa sUnA ho jAtA hai / loga cale jAte haiM / jamanA akelI bahatI rahatI hai / patha nirjana dIkhatA hai / prAnta sannATA le uThatA hai / kabhI-kabhI moTara bhAgatI prAtI, aura dhUla ur3AtI huI bhAgatI calI jAtI hai, sapane meM jaise cir3iyA apanI rAha zraI, aura ur3a gii| per3a vaise hI khar3e rahate haiM / aura vaTohI, parAye se, kucha DhUMDhate- se, rAha jAte dIkhate haiM / ... aura dhUpa sira para AtI hotI hai taba vaha cAroM ora dekhatI hai, aura sA~sa letI hai, aura DaliyA meM avazeSa phUla-pattiyoM ko, aura Aja pAye paise aura anAja ko alagaalaga sa~gavAkara, uTha khar3I hotI hai, kapar3e jhAr3atI hai, a~gar3AI letI hai, aura sira para DaliyA lekara cala par3atI hai / | calatI calatI, ThIka sUraja kI jalatI AMkha ke nIce tIna mIla rAha tai karake ghara AtI hai | vahI ghara, jahA~ dina meM rAta rahatI hai, aura rAta naraka rahatA hai / aura dina-rAta yaha bur3hiyA rahatI hai / phira tIsare pahara jAtI hai, aura a~dherA hue zrAtI hai, aura phira a~dhere a~dhere meM hI tar3ake tIna baje calI jAtI hai / subaha ko isa taraha vaha zAma se milA detI hai, isa taraha rAta kATatI hai, aura apane jIne ke dina kATatI hai / : 3H / kyoM jI, bur3hiyA ke aura rukiyA ke aura phUlavAlI ke atirikta kyA kucha aura, yaha kabhI nahIM rahI hai ? kyA yaha janma kI bur3hiyA hI hai, aisI hI bur3hiyA hai ?... kintu kabhI yaha aura kucha kaise raha sakI hogI ? bur3hiyA aura nAnI na hokara yaha kaise hogI ?... aura kyoM jI, bAlakoM ne milakara nAnI banAyA hai, to kyA unheM patA calA hai ki yaha mA~ kaba bana sakI thI ? jIvana meM yaha kaba mA~ banane kA avasara pA sakI hai ? - yA pA sakI bhI hai yA nahIM ?... para isameM bhAI, bAlakoM kA koI jimmA nahIM hai, aura yaha koI tarka

Page #101
66 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga ] nahIM hai ki nAnI banI haiM, to mA~ unheM bana cukanA hI caahie| nahIM, bAlaka so kucha nahIM jAnate / unakI yaha nAnI hai, tuma cAhe kucha kaho, cAhe kucha karo / ... lekina, hama pUcheM, jaisA hai vaisA hI kyA rahegA ? aura vaisA hI kauna rahatA AyA hai ? parivartana meM se hI hama satya dekheMge / satya parivartanIya na ho, hama parimita haiM | hama yahI jAnate haiM, jo jaisA hai, vaisA na thA, aura vaisA na raha pAyagA / aura hamako isI bhA~ti jAnanA cAhie / isameM hamArA basa nahIM hai / jItA huA purAnA hokara mara jAyagA, nayA jiyegA | nayA uThatA hai, jIta meM jItA hai, isIlie ki hAra kara purAnA ho, jhar3e, aura khAda banakara dhUla meM mila jAya / yaha bhAgya nahIM hai, - yaha saubhAgya hai / isI saubhAgya ke maMgala cakra ke nIce, bebasa hama jar3a prANI bilakhate hue jIte-marate haiM / kambakhta hama ha~sa bhI to nahIM sakate ! so, yaha rukiyA nahIM thI, rukmiNI thI / phUla nahIM le jAkara becatI thI, svayaM bolate phUla kI nAI ghara ke A~gana meM cahakatI phiratI thI, aura mA~-bApa ko dhanya karatI thI / mA~-bApa paise se hona na the, acche - khAte-pIte the / unakI yaha pahalI lar3akI thI, aura aba taka AkhirI bhI thI / aise lubhAvane baina bolatI thI ki kyA kahA jAya ! aura aisI nikharatI - khilatI AtI thI ki bar3I umara taka, Dara ke mAre, mA~ isake mAthe pai kAjala kA kAlA TIkA lagA detI thI / cA~da niSkalaMka na dIkhe kahIM, nahIM to gajaba ho jAyagA / isI bhA~ti umara vaha ho AI ki mA~-bApa ko soca hone laga gyaa| -byAha karake, apane ghara se dUra kara deM ise, taba unheM caina kI nIMda mile | aura par3osa meM rahatA thA eka bar3haI / ye loga khatrI the, aura vaha khAtI / aura usa khAtI ke eka lar3akA thA / bar3A huziyAra uThA thA /

Page #102
67 rukiyA bur3hiyA dillI Aye-haphte AyA-jAyA karatA thA, aura kala-purje kI bar3I bAteM sIkha gayA thA / nAma thA dInA / ... so, jaba vyAha kI taiyAriyoM kI bAteM hone laga gaI, taba dInA ne bar3e cupake se kamare meM praveza kiyA, jisameM usa vakta darpaNa ke sAmane khATa para rukmiNI baiThI thii| vaha akelI thI, aura nahIM, darpaNa meM nahIM dekha rahI thI, darpaNa kI sudhi use nahIM thI, soca meM murajhI, muha laTakAye baiThI thii| dInA ne kahA, "rAnI ?" rukmiNI ne suna liyA, para dekhA nahIM, bolI nhiiN| dInA ne kahA, "merI rAnI" rukmiNI ke A~sU chalachala kara Aye, aura phera kara muha jo cAdara meM usane DhaMkA, to phaphaka-phaphaka kara ro utthii|| aba taka isa ekAnta meM, kucha usake bhItara se uTha kara ghanA hotA huA vyApa rahA thaa| paribhASAhIna, lakSyahIna, arthahIna-sAMdhyavelA meM dharatI kI chAtI meM se nikalatI huI usA~sa jaisaa| rAtri meM parivyApta zItalatA se chakara phira vaha usA~sa Apa-hI-pApa dharatI ke hare romoM para girakara bUMda-bUda motI banA pA Thahara jAtA hai-vaisA hI dInA ke sambodhana se ekAeka usakA ucchvAsa tarala hokara jhara-jhara-jhara uThA / dInA kho-sA gayA / khATa para pAkara ekadama use goda meM sambhAlA, kahA, "kyA hai, merI rAnI ?-bolo|" aura rAnI goda meM rahI, bola nahIM sakI, phaphakatI rhii| aura phira eka sAtha uThakara jAne ko ho gii| dInA ne use kaThoratara AliGgana meM bAMdha liyaa| rukmiNI ne jora se kahA, "haTo," aura vaha apane ko jaise, chInakara alaga ho gaI, aura calI gii| nahIM, rukmiNI ko isase prasannatA nahIM hai / are, usakA jI cIrakara

Page #103
18 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [sAtavAM bhAga] dekha lo-nahIM hai| para kyA hai ? nahIM jaantii|...vh koTharI meM mAkara caTAI para auMdhe muha par3a gaI, aura sisakane lgii| mA~ kI AvAja AI-"rukmI !" aura rukmiNI ne uThakara dvAra kI kuNDI lagA lI, aura pharza para bichI caTAI para jora se mAthA Thokakara vaisI hI par3a gii| ... mA~ kahatI rahI-rukmI,-"yo rukamanI !-kahA~ gaI lar3akI, jAne..." ___rukmiNI ne uThakara chata ko dekhA, A~sU DhAlate hue, donoM hAthoM ko jor3akara kahA, "o, mere bhagavAn !" aura chAtI masosakara khar3I ho gaI, kuNDI kholakara bAhara AI, aura bar3I tatparatA ke sAtha mAM ke sAmane pahuMcakara bolI, "kyA hai, mA~ ?" "tU kahA~ thI ?" "kahIM nahIM, yahIM thii|-kaam hai, mA~ ?" / "hA~"-aura mA~ ne jo kAma batAyA, karane meM laga gii| para, vidhi kI gati aparampAra hai / byAha nahIM huA, aura byAha se eka roz2a pahale, usane dekhA, apane mAM-bApa ke ghara se TUTakara, rotI huI, dInA ke kandhe se lagI aura bAhuoM meM thamI, vaha usake sAtha calI jA rahI hai|-nhiiN, usako sukha nahIM hai| usake jI meM darda hai; kahA~ jA rahI hai, usako patA nahIM hai; phira kyA hogA, kucha usako khabara nahIM hai;-para, vaha usake hAthoM meM thamI, kandhe se lagI,-jA rahI hai|... vaha samandara meM lejAke paTaka degA ?-kyA burA hai; paTaka de; vaha aA~kha madakara, usakA nAma letI, DUba jaaygii| vaha jA rahI hai| aura dillI hai zahara, jo pAsa hai, aura jahA~ saba khapatA hai| vahIM

Page #104
rukiyA bur3hiyA 66 vaha rukmiNo zraI / yahA~ dInA kI birAdarI vAloM kA eka kA ghara hai | dUra kA riztA bhI dInA kA unase hotA hai / vahIM vaha ThaharI / rukmiNI sundarI hai / lajjAzIlA hai, sAvana-bhAdoM meM jaise palI hai / prema jaisI bhArI cIja se bharI hai, isase svayaM halakI nahIM hai / isalie premikA nahIM hai, gRhiNI hai / sevA meM usakA prema tuSTa hai, utsarga meM use tRpti hai / adhikArazIla usakA prema kama hai, isalie usameM laga sakatA hai ki camaka kama hai, dhAra kama hai, namaka kama hai / phuhAreM usameM nahIM haiM, kyoMki gaharAI adhika hai / ... vaha gRhiNI hai, gRhiNI nahIM bana sakI isalie abhAginI hai / vaha prema-bharI hai, isase premikA honA usase nahAM sambhalegA / aura dInA ! dInA utAvalA hai, isase jaldI zraghA jAne vAlA haiM / use atRpti cAhie, tRpti jhelane kI usameM sAmarthya nahIM / isIse tRpti tRpti kI bhUkha usameM lapaTeM mAratI rahatI hai / aura aba yahA~ vaha bahuta sara paTaka cukA hai / use roz2I ke lie koI kAma bhI nahIM mila sakA hai | vaha asantuSTa hai / asantoSa bhItarI hai, isase saba ora phaila rahA hai, aura zrAsa-pAsa jo haiM, una sabhI para apane phana paTakatA hai / aise samaya use cAhie - nazA / aise samaya use cAhie, thapakI nahIM, coTa / vihita, yukta, gambhIra, mIThA prema nahIM; dhuA~dhAra, unmatta, caraparA, cuTIlA, sakaTAkSa, niSiddha prema, jo DaGka mAra-mArakara use cetAe rakhe / - nahIM to vaha jar3a hotA jA rahA hai ! aisI jagaha, uSA kI aruNimA sundara nahIM hai, pAna kI lAla lA se ra~ge strI- proTha adhika sundara haiM / saundarya kahA~ nahIM hai ? saundarya paramasatya hai, parama- satya kI abhinna vibhUti hai, satya kI bhA~ti saba Thaura vyApA hai / jisakI jahA~ A~kha hai, vahA~ hI, vaha use dekha legA / isI se ambara nIla sundara hai, dhUpa jhakajhakAtI dhaulI khilatI hai; dharatI harI bhAtI hai; rAta tAroM-TakI, zyAmala suhAtI hai; prabhAta gulAbI acchA lagatA hai /

Page #105
100 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga to, na kaho, usa ghara meM rahane vAlI vidhavA vaha campo, sundara na thii| umara Dhala rahI thI, aura vaha lAla pAr3a kI dhotI pahanatI thii| aura vaha bar3e salIke se rahanA jAnatI thii| pAna khAtI thI, aura tambAkU bhI thor3A khA letI thii| aura bahuta mIThA bolatI thI, aura bar3I ha~samukha rahane vAlI thI, aura saba ke duHkha-darda meM zarIka hokara rahatI thii|... vaha vahA~ rahatI thI, jahA~ saba ko prasanna rakhA jA sakatA hai, aura jahA~ darda se dUra, khuda prasanna rahA jA sakatA hai| aura usakI citavana aisI thI ki bAlaka-vRddha kauna usa para nahIM rIjha jAya ? __rukmiNI, andhI na thii| para usane saundarya ko apane sajAkara na rakhA / hAratI gaI, aura hAra apanAtI gaI, para yaha na kiyaa| apanA kucha bhI, adhikAra ke sAtha saMrakSaNa kara rakhane kI buddhi, ceSTA, usameM nahIM huI, nahIM jaagii| vaha apanA saba-kucha kho dene ko taiyAra hotI jAne lgii| aura cupacApa eka-eka ghar3I kATakara usa dina ko johane-sI lagI, jaba usase kaha diyA jAya-"nikala yahAM se|" __Age kI usane koI bAta socI hai, so nhiiN| para binA soce bhI mauta AtI hai| aura binA soca-vicAra kiye bhI hama jAnate haiM, mauta apane vakta A hI jaaygii| hamArI taraha duvidhA meM rahane vAlI mAnavI vaha nahIM hai| dInA eka rAta dera se ghara aayaa| ghara meM kucha nahIM banA thA, aura vaha kahIM bAhara kucha khA-pI AyA thA / sIdhA khATa para A gyaa| rukmiNI, nIce pharza para baiThI thI / __eka-do minaTa ho gaye, aura koI bolA nhiiN| dInA ne kahA, "kyoM, kucha muha se bola nahIM sakatI ?" . rukmiNI ne kahA, "aAja dera se Aye / " jaise bAta kahane ke lie hI usane yaha khaa| dInA-"hA~, dera se aayaa|"-aur tuma baiThI mujhe kosa rahI ho| rukmiNI-"nahIM..."

Page #106
rukiyA bur3hiyA 101 dInA-gAMva meM ghara para mujhe kAma kI kamI nahIM thii| aura tuma jAnatI ho, yahA~ dillI meM kisake lie Akara marA huuN|" rukmiNI cupa / kucha Thaharakara dInA ne pUchA, "Aja kyA banAyA hai ?" rukmiNI phira cupa / dInA, "kyoM, bolA nahIM jaataa|--yaa, maiM acchA nahIM lagatA !" rukmiNI cupa rhii| aura dInA ke bhItara Akroza uThakara use ghoMTane lgaa| dInA-"maiM calA jAU~, taba tujhe caina pdd'e| itanI rAta gaye lauTatA hU~, taba bhI yaha nahIM ki muha to khole, kucha kahe / --koI bakatA hai, to bakatA rhe| maiM jAnatA hU~, tU mujhe nahIM caahtii| cAhatI hai, maiM mara jaauuN|" rukmiNI-"kucha nahIM banA hai|" dInA ne cillAkara kahA, "kyoM kucha nahIM banA hai ?" thA nahIM-" dInA ne aura jora se cillAkara kahA, "thA nahIM ! kyoM nahIM thA ?" rukmiNI cupa ho rhii| dInA ne bahuta z2ora se cillAkara kahA, "sunatI hai ki lAta se sunAU~ ?--kucha kyoM nahIM thA ?" rukmiNA ko lagA jaise lAta se sunAyA jAyagA, tabhI usake lie adhika ThIka hogaa| vaha, saca, khUba piTanA cAhatI hai isa samaya / jI ke bhItara asahya nirAzA kA uddhata muha isI bhA~ti kucalakara kucha dera nIcA rahe, to tanika caina to use mile / vaha kucha nahIM bolii| dInA ne pharza para paira paTakakara kahA, "to nahIM sunegI tU-aiM ?" rukmiNI cupa baiThI rhii|

Page #107
102 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtA bhAga] ekadama khar3e hokara dInA ne use jhaTake se bA~ha khIMcakara khar3A kara diyA, "aba bhI bolegI, yA nahIM-harajAina / " rukmiNI ne donoM hAtha jor3akara kahA, "tumhAre hAtha jor3atI hU~, mujhe Aja khUba mAra lo| tumhArA bar3A ahasAna hogaa|" dInA hAtha chor3a kara alaga khar3A ho gyaa| bolA, "to tU samajhatI hai, maiM mAra nahIM sakatA,-aiM ?" aura mAno kucha svastha hokara kahA, "rukmiNI, maiM mAra sakatA huuN|" dInA kI isa sthira kaThora, mAno zAnta, dhvani ne rukmiNI ke citta meM yathArtha hI bhaya utpanna kara diyA / vaha sakapakI-sI dekhane lgii| dInA ne kahA, "rukmiNI, maiM mAra sakatA hai|" tabhI kucha rukmiNI ke bhItara se kaThina hotA huA uTha kara AyA, jisane use eka sAtha hI nirbhaya kara diyA, aura pAnI bhI kara diyaa| vaha ekadama dInA ke pairoM meM apanA sira gera kara par3a gaI, bolI, "tumhArI hA-hA khAtI hU~, eka bAra mujhe khUba mAra do|" dInA tana kara khar3A rahA / aura vaha kucha nahIM kara sakatA thaa| kahA, "rukamanI !" ___ rukmiNI, binA AMsU, pairoM ko aise lie par3I rahI, jaise unakI khUba lAteM khA legI, tabhI chodd'egii| dInA ne hukma-bharI AvAz2a meM kahA, "rukamanI !" rukmiNI hilI nhiiN| dInA ne z2ora se apane paira ko jhaTakA diyA, kahA, "haTo !-mujhe baiThane do|" __jUte kI Thokara donoM chAtI ke saMdhisthala meM bahuta kaccI nahIM baiThI, aura rukmiNI dUra jA pdd'ii| vahIM eka hAtha se chAtI dabAye, dUsarA dharatI para Teka, ekaTaka farza ko dekhatI huI vaha baiTha rhii|

Page #108
rukiyA bur3hiyA dInA ke paira chUTa gaye aura vaha khATa para pA rahA / guma-suma, kucha kSaraNa bola use nahIM sUjha sakA / vaha apane hI khilAfa lar3a rahA hai,apanI cetanA ke kisI bhA aMza meM use yaha bhAna nahIM hai, so nahIM hai| isIlie, isa bhAMti, mAnA praNabaddha, vaha kaThora hai| kucha dera meM dInA ne kahA, "kucha nahIM thA, to campo se kyoM nahIM mAMga liyA ?" ___ rukmiNI usI bhA~ti farza ko dekhatI rhii| campo !-isa nAma para vaha aDola, cupa, vaisI hI rhii| dInA-"kyoM, vaha DAyana hai ?" rukmiNI cup| dInA-"vaha nahIM, DAyana tU hai, tU hai / --sunA?" rukmiNI jhapaTakara phira usake pairoM se cipaTa gaI-"hA~,DAyana maiM hU~, maiM huuN| maiM hI DAyana huuN| tumhAre paira pakar3a', mujhe mAra do|" tabhI bAhara se AvAz2a AI, "lAlA, kyA hai ?--kyoM cillA rahe ho ?--aura campo ke udhara hI Ane kI padadhvani bhI aaii|" dInA ne kahA, "arI, chor3a-chor3a, ThIka se baiTha !" rukmiNI ne pairoM ko aura kasa liyaa| kahA, "mujhe mAra do, mAra do|" he-heM, dekha, koI A rahA hai / ' dInA lajjA aura asamanjasa se bhIta vANI se bolaa| aura bAhara pairoM kI AhaTa sannikaTa A gii| rukmiNI, turanta paira chor3a, khATa ke bistaroM ko ThIka karane lgii| ___ "lAlA, kyA zora hai" kahatI huI campo pAI, "ghara meM aura bhI to haiM / tuma na somo, unheM to bicAroM ko so lene do| kyA bAta hai ?" dInA-"kucha bAta nahIM, bhAbhI ! tumhArI khA~sI kaisI hai aba?rukamanI, dekha udhara pIr3hA hai, bhAbhIjI ko baiThane ko de na de, khar3I haiN|"

Page #109
104 . . jainendra kI kahAniyAM [sAtavA~ bhAga] pIr3he para baiThakara campo ne kahA, "lAlA, tuma rukamanI se jora se mata bolA kro| vaha aisI suzIlA hai / vaha sahAra nahIM sktii|" rukmiNI ne dhIre se pUchA, "tumhAre kucha khAne ko bacA hogA ?" campo-'to tumane kucha khAyA nahIM, lAlA? pahale se kyoM nahIM kahI ? aura tuma bhI aise ho ki bhUkhe ho, so usase lar3ane ko baiThate ho|" dInA-nahIM-nahIM, maiM bhUkhA nahIM huuN|" campo-"mujhe lAne meM dera kitanI lagatI hai| aura maiM koI ghisa nahIM jaauuNgii|" dInA-"nahIM bhAbhI, tuma hairAna mata ho / mujhe bhUkha nahIM hai|" / campo calI gaI, aura rukmiNI bistara ThIka karane se haTakara pharza para baiTha gii| dInA ne kahA, "dekho, eka yaha hai ki kaisI bolatI hai, aura tuma"rukmiNI vahI farza ko dekhane lgii| aba dInA meM krodha nahIM hai| campo-bhAbhI yahA~ ho gaI hai-aba vaha udAra hai, mIThA hai| dInA-"maiM to khAU~gA nhiiN| aura tuma bhI to bhUkhI hogii| lo, yaha mujhe patA hI na rahA ki tuma bhI bhUkhI ho / tumhIM khaanaa|" rukmiNI khA sakegI ? na-na, vaha nahIM khA skegii| vaha cupa rhii| dInA-"dekho, tumako hI khAnA hogA / inkAra na ho skegaa| campo nahIM to fijUla hairAna hogii|" __ rukmiNI-"mujhe bhUkha nahIM hai|" dInA-"bhUkha nahIM hai to dUsarI bAta hai / para, bhUkha honI caahie| kyoM nahIM ?" campo ( Akara )-"lo, lAlA ! yahI thA, aura jyAdA to thA nhiiN|" dInA-bhAbhI, tumane yoM hI hairAnI kii|"

Page #110
, rukiyA bur3hiyA 105 campo-"tuma bhUkhe raho, aura merI hairAnI kI ginatI ho / dekho, rukamana kaisI sUkha rahI hai / usase ThIka rahA kro| aisI bhAga se milatI haiM, kaisI sundara hai, suzIla !... aura, lo, maiM jAtI hU~, tuma donoM ke bIca meM maiM na rhuuNgii| aura khA-pIkara tuma ArAma karanA, lar3anA-lar3AnA mt|" ___ campo calI gaI, aura dInA ne kahA, "rukamanI, aba tuma yaha khA lo| khA-pIkara phira so jAnA hai / sunA ?" rukmiNI ne kahA, "acchaa|" aura uThakara usa khAne ko lekara bAhara calI gii| aura dInA khATa para leTa kara campo bhAbhI ko dekhane lgaa| rukmiNI ne bAhara AkAza dekhA, tAroM se bharA thaa| aura usake nIce jagata soyA thaa| sabakI A~kheM nIMda se aura sapanoM se bharI haiM, aura usakI A~kheM-usakI A~kheM kisI se bhI nahIM bharI haiM, bilakula sUnI haiM, rItI haiM, aA~suoM se bhI nahIM bharI haiN| hA~, usake hAtha usa khAdya se bhare haiM, jo jahara hai, para jahara hokara bhI, marane taka ke lie jise vaha khA nahIM sktii| AdhI rAta meM, tAroM kI asaMkhya A~khoM ke nIce, usa akhAdya khAdya ko hAthoM meM lekara khar3I hai ki vaha use, una daidIpya nakSatroM ke sAkSya meM, kyA kare ? aura vaha jAnatI hai, bhItara kamare meM hai eka dInA, jisako lekara vaha kahIM se TUTa kara Aja yahA~ khar3I hai / vaha, dInA, avazya nizcinta par3A huA hai ki vaha jaldI lauTatI hai, yA kaba lauTatI hai, yA lauTatI bhI hai yA nahIM___ vaha khAdya ko avajJA ke sAtha morI meM nahIM pheMka sakI, jaisA ki vaha cAhatI thii| usane use bAhara, khulI chata para khulA chor3a diyaa| aura, AI ki dInA so cukA thaa| aise dina bIte ki jaldI vaha dina A gayA, jaba kahane kI AvazyakatA hI jar3a-mUla se naSTa ho gaI ki 'tU nikala jaa|' usane pAyA ki

Page #111
106 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA bhAga] vaha vahA~ akelI hai, dInA nahIM hai, campo bhI nahIM hai, jAne kahA~ cale gaye haiM / aura vaha be-paisA hai, aura pichale cAra mahInoM kA makAna kA kirAyA usase hI liyA jAne vAlA hai| taba bar3I zIghratA se paramAtmA ne use bur3hiyA banA diyaa| aura kisI ko cAlIsa barasa lagate, rukmiNI kA prAdhe kAla meM yaha saba kAma nibaTa gayA, aura vaha rukiyA bana gii| kintu yaha samajha lenA cAhie ki vaha rukiyA hai, rukmiNI smRti dvArA bhI nahIM hai / smRti se chuTTI lekara vaha baiThI hai / smaraNa kare, isase acchA nakadAnakada bAlakoM ko kyoM na kosa kara vaha apanA kAma calA le, aura unameM hI kyoM na pUrI taraha magna ho le| punarjanma bhI to loga mAnate haiM / kintu taba ke nAtoM ko koI yAda nahIM rakhatA / taba kI bAtoM ko hama saba chuTTI de cuke hote haiN| taba hama yaha the, isakA dambha hameM nahIM phulAtA; yaha na the, isakA duHkha bhI hameM nahIM satAtA / usa saba ghaTita atIta se apane ko sarvathA tor3a kara naye janma meM hama jIte haiN| nahIM to apane ananta itihAsa kA bojha apane mAthe pai lekara hama jI sakate haiM ? hamArA jJAna saMkucita hai, yahI hamArA varadAna hai / hama parimita haiM, yahI hamArA dhanya bhAgya hai| rukiyA ko rukmiNI ke sAtha mata jodd'o| na-na, vaha sapane meM bhI bhUla kara apane ko una dinoM se nahIM jodd'tii| ve usake bhItara kahIM kAyama hI nahIM haiM, nahIM, bilakula nahIM haiN| ___isI se vaha kahatI hai, "bhagavAn, sabakA bhalA kare / duniyA ke lie usameM kar3avAhaTa nahIM hai|" . para ye bAlaka ! ye koI duniyA ke haiM, jAne kisa loka ke jIva haiM ye !-zarAratI, daMgaI, saba-ke-saba / aura vaha kahatI hai, "he rAma, tU inheM sabako mere sira pai se kaba uThAyegA ?"

Page #112
darzana kI rAha jinakI yaha bAta kahatA hU~ unakA nAma Apa na jAnate hoM, yaha kama sambhava hai / yaha bhI Apa jAnate hI hoMge ki unakA eka hI upadeza hai ki mauta ko sAmane lo| sthAna-sthAna para isa Adeza kI ghopaNA ke atirikta mAno unake lie aura kucha nahIM hai| ___mRtyu koI priya vastu nahIM hai, para unake andara ghAva hai / vaha kyA ? vahI eka dina maiM pUcha baitthaa| (mujha para unakI kRpA hai aura sneha hai|) pUchA, "kyA mauta ko cAhanA hogA ?" ____ bole, "nahIM / para udyata to rahanA hI hogaa| svecchita mRtyu mukti hai / mRtyu kA citra hameM sadA pratyakSa rahe to kSudratA meM hama na gireM / " ___jaise usa viSaya para unakA mana sadA bharA rahatA hai / halkI-sI koI cher3a milanI caahie| phira to vaha phUTa hI calate haiN| maiMne kahA ki mRtyu kA dabAva hamAre mana para hara ghar3I banA rahe . to kyA isase usa mana ke vidrohI ho par3ane kI AzaGkA bhI na ho jAyagI ? meM taba soca sakatA hU~ ki Age mauta hI to hai hI, phira kyA to viveka aura kyA aviveka ? mana kA aMkuza isase DhIlA bhI to ho sakatA hai na ? khinna-bhAva se vaha bole ki, "hA~ ho bhI sakatA hai| para mujhe usase 107

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga lAbha humA hai / jo na jhela sake use usa darzana se bacanA caahie| lekina saccI zakti sadA jhelatI hai| mauta se A~kha bacAveM to lagAyeM kahA~ ? anta meM niSedha hI satya hai| Izvara neti hai| DrAiMga-rUma kI sajAvaTa ko apane cAroM tarapha lapeTakara koI Azvasta nahIM raha sakA / jo prAvaraNa aura paridhAna hamane khar3e kiye haiM una sabako pAkara mRtyu hara samaya hamAre tana ko chUye rahatI hai / so hI hamArA jIvana hai / jagat mRtyu ke / varadAna para mukhara hai| vartamAna kA hara pala cukakara bhUta hotA jA rahA hai| kahA~ jAkara tuma A~kha mIMcoge ? tuma tumhIM nahIM ho / tuma bApa ho, . bhAI ho, putra ho, pati ho| sambandhiyoM ke bIca tumhArI sambhAvanA hai| ve sambandha sambandha na baneM, isase ve jur3eMge aura ttuutteNge| tuma samartha hoo, . isa hetu meM tumhAre mAM-bApa mreNge| zAvaka ur3e, isake lie khola ko TUTanA hogaa| bIja marakara vRkSa ugaaygaa| hameM janma dekara mAtA-pitA matya kI tarapha bar3he- hama janma svIkAra karake ise ucita mAnate haiN| isI meM mRtyu kI pratiSThA hai| jIvana prapaJca hai aura bhUla hai, yadi usakI mRtyupUrvakatA kA bhAna hameM nahIM hai / mRtyupUrvaka vahI sukha-dAna hai / ... maiMne yaha zurU meM nahIM smjhaa| mauta apanI nagna sajjA meM mujha taka AI / vaha AI thI mujhe vizada karane. para maiM sNkucaa| maiM simaTA aura use TAlA / usa sampada ko vipada mAna Dara ke mAre maiM cipaTa baiThA usase jo prApta thaa| isI meM vaha prApta mujha se vimukha hokara kho gyaa| mRtyu ke dvAra se hI prApya prApta hai / anyathA, prApta mAtra pravaJcanA hai| Aja usa ananta ke dvAra se meM dekhatA hU~ tabhI satya pratIta hotA hai| nahIM to saba mAyA hai / isI se kahatA hU~ ki mRtyu dvAra ko jIvana-yAtrA meM sadA sammukha rkho| taba saba tumhAre lie satya hai, ziva hai, sundara hai| nahIM to......" - maiMne dekhA ki kahate-kahate vaha kahIM aura pahu~ca gaye haiM / anta meM sahasA ThiThaka kara vaha muskarAye-karuNa muskarAhaTa / mAno apane lie bhI unake pAsa karuNA hI hai|

Page #114
darzana kI rAha maiM unheM dekhatA raha gayA / bole, "kyA dekhate ho ? sunanA cAhate ho ?" maiM aura kyA cAhatA thA ? bole 106 1 : 1 vivAha ke zIghra hI bAda patnI maike calI gayI / tumhAre yahA~ bhI gaune kA to rivAja hai na ? vivAha ke kucha kAla kA antara DAla kara dvirAgamana hotA hai / so vivAha ke avasara para to mAno khulakara bheMTa bhI na ho sakI / bhalI-bhA~ti taba meM unheM dekha bhI pAyA, isameM sandeha hai / maMgalAcAra kI aisI kucha dhUma-dhAma rhii| bahaneM thIM aura par3osa kI bhAbhiyA~ thIM / unake kAraNa bahU kI itanI pUcha-tAcha huI ki vara kI yAda hI na rakhI gaI / aura ginatI ke ye tIna-cAra roja bItate- na-bItate sasurAla se unake bhAI livAne zrA gaye / vaha calI gayIM / 1 1 usa kAla meM akelA thA / akele yAnI kendra hIna / mana meM bahutabahuta AkAMkSAe~ thIM / AkAMkSAe~ kizora jI umagA prAtA thA / mAno bhItara se eka vaibhava uchAha meM hilora letA, phuhAra meM phUTa kara kisI ke Age bhara par3anA cAhatA thA / para kisake Age ? apane bhItara kI bhAvanA kI vipulatA ko kisake samakSa lAkara luTA dU~ / aura apane ko dhanya karU~, yaha samajha meM na AtA thA / mAtA se anAyAsa dUra par3atA jAtA thA / apane ko saba zAvaka nahIM balki samartha pAnA priya lagatA thA / jI hotA thA - para kyA jI hotA thA ? jaise kisI ko zrAzraya meM lU aura apane bhuja-daNDa ke bala para samUce vizva ke virodha meM usakI rakSA karU~ / jo mere dvArA rakSaNIya ho aura prArthanIya bhI ho / mujha se nirbala, para svAminI / jisake Age maiM apanA samUcA bala aura samUcI prabhutA arghya kI bhA~ti visarjita karake sArthaka karU~ /

Page #115
110 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavAM bhAga] para vaha aisA kauna ? maiM dvirAgamana ke lie rela meM baiThA jA rahA thA aura mana meM dekha rahA thA, merI pUjA kI vaha vedI aba adhika kAla anabhiSikta na rhegii| usa ke abhiSeka kA avasara prA pahuMcA hai| svapna umar3a-umar3a kara Ate the prAMsU kI bhAMti usa vedI ko dho jAte the| Akhira dina aayaa| choTI rela, choTA sTezana, sekimDa klAsa ke rijarva Dibbe ke eka kone meM ghUghaTa ke bhItara vaha baiThI thIM aura khir3akI para hokara pleTaphArma para khar3e unake bhrAtR-janoM ko maiM praNAma kara rahA thaa| gAr3I cala dii| pleTaphArma dhIme-dhIme pAra ho gyaa| maiM haThAta khir3akI para khar3A rhaa| mujhe Dara laga rahA thA, khir3akI se haTakara kampArTameMnTa ke andara jAkara baiThanA mujha se kaise banegA ? khir3akI para maiM khar3A hI rahA, khar3A hI rhaa| bastI ke makAna nikale, bAga nikale, aba kheta A gaye / Akhira maiM khir3akI se httaa| ghUghaTa kama ho gayA thaa| sAr3I kI kora mAthe taka thI / rUpa para: Apane to kaviyoM kI kavitA par3hI hai, vaisA hI kucha smjhiye| unhoMne merI ora dekhA / una A~khoM meM kyA thA ? maiMne bar3hakara kahA, "jarA uTho, bistara bichA hai|" vaha bolI nahIM / "bistara se prArAma rhegaa|" phira bhI vaha nahIM boliiN| kucha pUchatI-sI A~khoM se mujhe dekhatI rhiiN| "uTho na jarA / " "ThIka to hai / mujhe nahIM caahie|" para itane meM to maiMne Upara se bistara utAra liyA thaa| maiM use kholane lgaa| sahasA uThakara unhoMne mere hAtha ko vahA~ se alaga kara diyA / bolIM, maiM yaha saba kara lUgI / tuma baittho|"

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darzana kI rAha maiMne kahA, "maiM bichA to de rahA hU~ / tuma raho na / " para merA pauruSa na claa| unhoMne nahIM mAnA, nahIM mAnA / bistara bichA diyA aura bolIM, "baiTho / " 111 maiMne kahA, "maiM to udhara dUsarI tarapha baiTha jAU~gA / tuma zrArAma se leTa sakatI ho / " "udhara maiM baiThI jAtI hU~ / " kahakara vaha dUsarI beMca para jAne ko udyata huiiN| usa samaya meM hAra na mAna sakA / unako hAtha se pakar3akara baiThAte hue maiMne kahA, "yaha kyA baiTho bhI / " baiTha to gaIM, lekina baiThate-baiThate unhoMne jora se mere koTa kA chora pakar3a liyaa| kahA, "tuma bhI baittho|" lAcAra meM pAsa baiTha gyaa| baiTha to gayA lekina aba ? usa samaya zabda kSudra ho gaye aura bhASA ne mauna kA prAzraya liyA / kucha kSaNa A~khoM hI A~khoM meM raha gaye / usa darzana meM amita bhAva thA / do vyaktiyoM ke bIca kI athAha dUrI A~khoM kI rAha mAnoM pala meM pAra ho gaI / aba kyA zeSa thA ! ...... .. mAlUma huA vedI kA abhiSeka sampanna ho gayA / svapna aba ur3ane kI AvazyakatA meM nahIM haiM / ve saba paMkti bA~dha Tapa Tapa Tapaka par3ane ko udyata haiM ki kisI ke caraNoM ko chU skeN| unakI spardhA bhakti meM aba sArthaka ho AI hai / vAyavya se aba tarala banakara mAno svapna svayaM apane ko pAte jA rahe haiM / maiMne kahA, "sudhA so jAo / " "meM ? maiM to ThIka hai~ / lo, tuma leTa jAo / " kahane ke sAtha hI vaha pIche saraka gaI, aise ki maiM leTa sakatA aura hA~, koI bAta nahIM jo sira goda meM A jAya / nahIM, nahIM, koI hara nahIM hai / hcG usameM

Page #117
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavI bhAga ] mujhe baiThA-kA-baiThA dekha bolI, "leTa na jaao| abhI bahuta saphara karanA hai / " maiMne ha~sakara kahA, "saphara mujhe hI karanA hai / tumheM to kucha karanAdharanA hai hI nahIM / " bolI, "merA kyA hai, para tuma leTakara thor3I nIMda le sako to acchA hai / " maiM prabodha, mujhe kucha nahIM suujhaa| aura dekhatA kyA hU~ ki maiM leTa gayA hU~ aura merA sira unhoMne ArAma se goda meM le liyA hai / 112 haThAt maiMne A~kheM mIMca lIM / cAhA ki soU~, para nahIM kaha sakatA ki maiM so sakA / phira bhI A~kha merI mudI rahI aura meM jAgate sapane lene lagA / ... para yaha kyA ? jhaTakA kaisA ? gAr3I ekadama rukI kyoM ? siganala na huA hogA / lekina nahIM kucha aura bAta hai / maiM uThA / uTha kara jhA~kA / dekhatA hU~ ki loga utara rahe haiM aura eka tarapha bar3he jA rahe haiM / jidhara jA rahe haiM vahA~ cAra-pA~ca prAdamiyoM kA jhuNDa- sA khar3A hai / bAta kyA hai / jAte prAdamiyoM se maiM pUchane lagA, "bhAI kyA bAta hai ?" pahalA AdamI to binA bole tejI se Age bar3ha gayA / phira dUsare se pUchA, "kyoM bhaI, kyA hai ?" "kyA mAlUma ?" tIsare se, "kyoM bhaI, hai kyA ?" "rela ke nIce koI A gayA sunate haiM / " zro, yaha hai ! meM apanI jagaha zrA baiThA / calo, hogA kuch| yaha to roja kI bAta hai / para rela yahA~ dera kitanI lagAyegI ? calatI kyoM nahIM ? mujhe burA mAlUma hone lagA ki gAr3I itanI muddata ThaharI kyoM hai ?

Page #118
darzana kI rAha sudhA ne pUchA, "kyoM kyA huA ?" jaise haThAt apane sira se kucha TAlate hue maiMne kahA, "hogA kucha, tumhArI choTI lAIna hai, jo na ho thor3A hai|" javAba dekara maiMne cAhA ki gAr3I cala par3e aura maiM idhara-udhara kI koI bAta socane ko khAlI na raha jAU~ / ___ itane meM sudhA khir3akI se bAhara hokara jhAMkane lagI / bolI, "saba loga jA rahe haiM / jAkara dekho to kyA hai|" maiMne apane viruddha hokara kahA ki "hogA kucha, chor3o bhii|" sudhA isa para kucha na bolI aura bAhara kI ora hI dekhatI rhii| . meM Dibbe ke andara lage hue rela ke nakzoM ko A~kha bAMdha kara dekhane lagA / jaise mujhe mana ko kisI bhI dUsarI tarapha nahIM jAne denA hai / "are, use uThAke lAmo na |"-yh kucha aisI bAnI meM kahA gayA ki maiM cauMke binA na rhaa| sunakara maiM khir3akI para pahu~cA aura bAhara dekhane lgaa| kaI prAdamI eMjina kI tarapha se hamArI tarapha eka AdamI ko uThAye hue A rahe the / ve pAsa Aye, ki sudhA ne apane muha ko hAthoM se DhaMka liyA aura baiMca para auMdhe muha par3a gyii| jo dekhA vaha dRzya use asahya huaa| merI to A~kheM usa para gar3a rhiiN| sATha se Upara umara hogii| deha se kSINa / A~kheM khalI thiiN| sA~sa tejI se A-jA rahA thaa| vaha idhara-udhara bhaucakkA-sA dekha rahA thaa| usakI eka TA~ga jA~gha ke pAsa se kaTakara bilakula alaga ho gayI thii| vahA~ se gozta ke chichar3e laTaka rahe the aura khUna baha rahA thaa| kaTI TA~ga ko eka AdamI alaga hAtha meM uThAye hue A rahA thaa| ____ vaha buDDhA usa apanI kaTI TA~ga kI tarapha dekhatA aura phira apane ko le jAte hue una AdamiyoM kI tarapha dekhatA / jaise usakI kucha samajha meM nahIM A rahA thaa| mere sAmane se ve usa AdamI ko le gye| utara

Page #119
114 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtalA bhAga] kara maiM bhI usake sAtha ho gyaa| pIche mAlagAr3I kA DabbA thA, usako kholA gyaa| gArDa ne kahA, "jaldI karo jaldI, gAr3I leTa hai|" logoM ne mulAkara buDDhe kI lotha ko Dabbe taka phuNcaayaa| buDDhA abhI jItA thaa| darda ke mAre vaha karAhA aura caukhaa| "jaldI karo, jaldI / are usako pIche kI tarapha dhakelo aura piiche| gAr3I leTa hai|" usa zarIra meM mAno icchAzakti nahIM raha gayI thii| sira jidhara hotA udhara hI laTakA raha jAtA thA / khaira, dhakela kara use jyoM-tyoM pIche kiyA gyaa| "banda karo, daravAjA banda kro|" loga mAlagAr3I ke Dabbe ke lohe ke daravAje banda karane lge| "oha, tU yahA~ khar3A hai ! yaha TAMga usake sAtha nahIM rakhI ? TAMga bhI usameM rkho|" daravAjA phira khulA aura vaha TAMga buDDhe ke pAsa pheMka dI gyii| vaha kaTI TA~ga buDDhe ke sira ke pAsa jAkara leTa gyii| lahU se kapar3e aura Dabbe kA pharza lAla ho gaye the / para buDDhe kI jAna nikalI na thii| vaha aba karAha nahIM rahA thA, na cIkhatA thaa| vaha mAno acaraja se hama jIte huoM ko dekha rahA thaa| aura usI bhAva se apane Upara banda hote hue lohe ke daravAje ko vaha dekhatA rhaa| prAsapAsa jamA hue logoM ko gArDa ne kahA, "kyA yaha tamAzA hai ? calo calo, gAr3I leTa hai|" kahakara vahIM se usane gAr3I calane kI sITI dii| maiM apane Dabbe meM A gayA / buDDhA mAlagAr3I ke Dhakane meM ucita DhaMga se banda ho gayA thaa| Upara tAlA jar3a gayA thaa| gAr3I leTa pahale se thI, aba vaha cala dii|

Page #120
darzana kI rAha 115 sTezana Ane para kulI bulAyA gayA, tAlA kholA gayA, mAla ke Dabbe se buDDhe ko khIMcakara utArA gayA, eka AdamI sAtha TUTI TA~ga lekara calA / aura buDDhA aba taka barAbara jItA thA, aura dekha rahA thA.......... phira DabbA dhula gayA / saphAI ho gayI / dAga kahIM nahIM chor3A gayA / huI bAta bItI aura gAr3I sTezana se cala dI / usa samaya maiMne kyA kiyA ? sudha khoI rahI taba taka khoI rahI, anta meM sudha pAkara vaha saba bisAra dene kI maiMne koziza kI / mere pAsa sudhA thI, dUsare darje kA rijarva DabbA thA / phira maiM usa TA~ga kaTA lene vAle behayA buDDhe kI yAda para kisa bhA~ti kSaraNa-bhara bhI ruka sakatA thA ? niSTa ko bhUla, iSTa ko hI maiMne yAda rakhA aura usI ora mu~ha phera kara kahA, "sudhA'..... lekina kyA tuma samajhate ho ki aise sahaja bacanA ho sakatA hai ? hama apane meM banda nahIM ho sakate / jagat-ghaTanA se bacakara koI kahA~ jAyagA ? aura bhoga se adhika satya hai mRtyu / bhoga meM hokara kyA mRtyu ko bhulAyA jA jakatA hai ? jItA jA sakatA hai ? para maiMne vahI cAhA aura vahI kiyA jagat-satya se A~kha mIMca lenI cAhI aura hAtha ke sukha ko cipaTakara pakar3a lenA cAhA / lekina kyA huA ? dekhA, to hAtha khAlI thA / usakI pakar3a meM kucha na prAyA thA / aura jise bacAyA thA vahI Aga kA zolA banakara sadA ke lie A~kha meM samA gayA / vaha eka cetAvanI thI jo mujhe sadA ko cetA gayI / merA saba calA gayA / saba ujar3a gyaa| lekina eka sIkha mila gayI / 2 : are bhAI, saba tumheM kyA sunAU~ ? chor3o-chor3o, usameM koI khAsa bAta nahIM hai /

Page #121
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavI bhAga ] ghara kI sthiti burI na thI aura maiM javAna thA / so raMga-rAga meM maiMne apane ko DubA diyA / lekina AdamI kyA apane ko sacamuca DubA taka sakatA hai ? Upara jo tAranahAra hai / vaha sahAyaka ho to DUbatA bhI tira AtA hai / 116 sudhA jAne kyA cAhatI thI anupama saundarya pAkara mana usane phira aisA taraMgahIna kyoM pAyA thA ? maiMne apanI sArI AkAMkSAe~ usa para vAra diiN| para jaise vaha mujhe rAma ke Adarza meM rakhakara dekhanA cAhatI thI / usakA apanA mana sItAjI meM thaa| usake saMskAra mujhe patirUpa meM svIkAra karate the / pati to devatA hI hai / para jaiseM meM svayaM meM hokara usakI nigAha se zrochA hI raha jAtA thA / mere samarpaNa meM use rAga na thA / mAlUma hotA thA ki jaise vaha mujhe kucha anya dekhanA cAhatI hai / mAno mujhe devatA pAnA cAhatI hai / isI se mujhe kabhI anubhava nahIM huA ki maiM use pA sakA hU~ / jagat ke bahumUlya upahAroM ko dikhA kara maiMne kahA, "sudhA logI ?" mAno sudhA kahatI, "maiM dAsI hU~ / jo svAmI kI icchA / " maiM kahatA, "tuma yaha kyoM nahIM jAnatIM ki tumane apsarA kA saundarya pAyA hai, sudhA ?" mAna sudhA kahatI, "merA kAma sevA hai, mujhe lajAo mata / " maiMne cAhA ki usameM anurAga ho, lekina usameM virAga hI AtA calA gayA / aura merI prA~khoM ne dekhA ki usa nispRha bhAva ke saMyoga se usake saundarya meM kucha aisI bhavya zobhA prAtI calI gaI ki maiM apane taI hIna lagane lagA / hIrA-motI ke AbharaNoM se sAgraha sajA kara maiM use dekha sakatA to vaha mujhe pAsa bhI jAna par3atI, jaise vaha saundarya prApya bhI ho| lekina nIcI prA~kha se kAma karatI huI sapheda dhotI meM jaba maiM use dekhatA - aura yahI usakI ruci kI veSa-bhUSA thI- taba maiM mana meM sahama kara raha jAtA thA / alaMkAra - zrAbharaNa se vihIna usakA zuci saundarya

Page #122
) darzana kI rAha 117 mujhe aisA birala jAna par3atA ki aprApya / icchA hotI ki sadA vaha raMgaviraMga sAr3iyA~ pahane rahe ki mujhe DhArasa to ho ki vaha hama sabake nikaTa hai / nahIM to vaha dUra, dUra, dUra kahA~ calI jA rahI hai ki jJAta nahIM ! mAlUma hotA thA ki jisa dharatI para maiM hU~ usase vaha ur3atI jA rahI hai| are, kahIM ekadama hI ur3a na jAya ! taba merA kyA hAla hogA? sudhA ne eka roja kahA, "tuma mujhe itanA prema kyoM karate ho ? zarIra to nAzavAna hai|" maiMne kahA, "nAzavAna kucha nahIM hai| vaha zabda muha se na nikaaln||" __ bolI, "usa buDDhe ko bhUla gaye ? saba kI kAyA meM vahI hai| mA~sa hai, rudhira hai, vahA~ koI saundarya nahIM hai|" ____ maiMne kahA, "sudhA, tuma aisI bAteM na kiyA kro| ve kyA tumhAre muha ke lAyaka haiM ?" __ kucha ruka kara vaha bolI, "tumheM phira apane kAma dhandhe kA kyoM khyAla nahIM hai ? mA~ kitanI ciMtita rahatI haiM, jAnate ho ?" sunakara maiM usakI tarapha dekhatA rahA / jatalAyA ki jAnatA huuN| "kyA dekhate ho ? merI hI vajaha se tuma ghara ko caupaTa kie de rahe ho na?" "hA~"-muskarAtA huA maiM use dekhatA raha gyaa| sudhA gusse meM bolI, "tuma ha~sa sakate ho| para tumhArI ha~sI mere khie kyA phala lAtI hai, yaha kyA tuma aba taka nahIM jAna pAye ho ?" maiMne kahA, "saca sunanA cAhatI ho sudhA ? to sunI; paisA jaba taka saba na calA jAyagA maiM sIdhI rAha para na aauuNgaa| se kI rAha Ter3hI hai| paisA hai to maiM sIdhe kaise cala sakatA hU~, tumhIM kaho ?" ___ sudhA ne gaura se merI ora dekhakara kahA, "yaha kyA kaha rahe ho ?" maiMne kahA, "sudhA, saba bhUla jAyo / kartavya ko kyoM yAda karatI ho, jaba taka sukha sAmane hai ? mujhe kartavya kI yAda na dilaayo| mujhe kaSTa

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118 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtathI bhAga ] mata do / sudhA, merI sahAyatA kyoM nahIM karatI ho ? Azro, mujhe saba bhUlane meM madada do / " sudhA ne kahA, "yaha tumheM kyA ho gayA hai ?" maiMne kahA, 'sudhA, maiM zarIra ke bhItara kI bAta nahIM dekhanA cAhatA / bhItara AtmA hai, yaha jAnane taka bhI nahIM ThaharanA cAhatA / kyoMki bhItara zrAtmA to pIche hogI, pahale to hAr3a, mA~sa aura rudhira hai / usa buDr3he ko hamane dekhA to thA / isase usa zarIra se indriya dvArA prApta hone vAle lAvaNya taka hI hama basa karake kyoM na raheM ? isI se sudhA, maiM cAhatA hU~ ki tuma kartavya kA dhyAna cAhe chor3a do lekina apane pa ke aizvarya ko samajhane laga jAo / tuma rUpagaviNI bano na / aisI banogI to mujhe bhI apane vijaya garva kA sukha lAbha hogA / " sudhA merI bAtoM ko sunatI rahI, bolI, "aise kaba taka calegA ?" maiMne kahA, "jaba taka bhI cala sake tabhI taka bahuta hai / " saca yaha hai ki sudhA ke viSaya meM mujhe idhara DhArasa kama hotA jA rahA thA / vaha devadurlabha-sI banatI jAtI thI, jAne zrAge kyA ho ? jaba taka kiMcita bhI usameM mAnavIya hai taba taka apane hI hAthoM apanA saubhAgya meM kyoM kama karU~ ? yaha bhI mujhe pratIta hotA thA ki mere isa moha ke kAraNa sudhA meM mere prati anurakti bar3hatI nahIM hai / uttarottara aisA lagatA thA ki mAno vaha aba chUTI, aba chuuttii| mAno apane moha ke kAraNa hI usake mana se meM utaratA jAtA thA aura vaha jaise usI ke jora se nirmoha kI ora bar3hatI jAtI thI / pariNAma yaha huA ki parivAra kA kAma dhandhA DUbane para A gayA / sudhA ne mujhe bahuta cetAyA / kahA, " mA~ kyA kahatI haiM, jAnate ho ? kahatI haiM ki maiM cur3aila hU~, jisane tuma para jAdU kiyA / tuma A~kha khola kara dekhate kyoM nahIM ho ki isa ghara meM merA jInA dUbhara ho rahA hai ? maiM roja bhagavAn se tumhAre lie prArthanA karatI hU~ / "

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darzana kI rAha 116 "kyA prArthanA karatI ho?" "ki tumheM subuddhi deN|" "aura dubuddhi vAle mujhako tuma prema nahIM kara sakatIM, yaha bhI na?" "yaha tumheM kyA ho gayA hai ? maiM nahIM to kise prema karatI hU~ ?" "zAyada bhagavAna ko prema karatI ho| suno sudhA, agara mujha meM vizvAsa rakhakara mujhe tuma tanika bhI prema kara sako to ho sakatA hai ki maiM ekadama gayA-bItA prANI na bhI nikluu|" / lekina isa bAta ko sudhA jaise samajha nahIM pAtI thii| kahatI, "yahI to tumhArA roga hai / tuma mujhe bhUla kyoM nahIM jAte ho ? dekhatI hU~, maiM hI tumhArA satyAnAza kara rahI huuN| maiM satyAnAsina yahA~ se uTha jAU~ to bhalA ho|" ___ meM samajhAtA / kahatA ki sudhA, yaha kyA kahatI ho ? tuma samajhatI kyoM nahIM ho ? tumako kyA nahIM milA hai ? phira tuma aisI kyoM hotI ho ? ___ bolI, "jisakA pati nikammA ho usako yahA~ kyA sukha ho sakatA hai, batAno to|" ___maiMne kahA ki taba to duHkha mujha nikamme AdamI kA haka hai| tuma duHkha kyoM uThAtI ho ? sudhA ne kahA ki tuma jAnate ho ki tuma par3he-likhe aura vidvAn ho / loga jAne kyA kyA AzA tuma se rakhate haiN| aura tuma ko basa prema kI bAteM haiM / zarma ke mAre kisI ko muha dikhAne lAyaka bhI to nahIM raha gayI huuN| maiMne kahA ki sudhA, batA sakatI ho, ki maiM kisake lie nikamme ke sivA kucha aura banU ? ___sudhA merI ora dekhatI raha gayI / anantara bolI, "phira tuma aisI hI bAta karane lage ? tuma kyoM nahIM jAnate ki mujha para kyA bItatI

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga ] maiMne usa samaya cAhA ki kahU~ ki tuma kisI bhI aura tarapha kI bAta na soco, sudhA / maiM to hU~ aura merA saba prema tumhArA hai| lekina meM kucha kaha nahIM sakA / 120 sudhA anta meM mu~ha phera kara yaha kahatI huI calI gayI ki merI jAna cAhate ho to kArobAra ko kucha dekho - bhAlo / lekina mere mana meM kArobAra nahIM thA / mere mana meM huA ki sapane kyA jhUTha hote haiM, aura kArobAra saca ? nahIM, aisA meM aba bhI nahIM mAnatA | apane sapane ko hama jilA sakeM isase adhika hamAre lie koI kAma mahatva kA nahIM hai / maiM apane sapanoM ko kaise ga~vA detA ? lekina sudhA nahIM, to sapanA kyA ? kendra hI nahIM, to paridhi kA vistAra kyA ? isa * se jaba maiM dekhatA ki sudhA mujha se dUra hotI jA rahI hai aura usakI ra se azraddhA hI mujha taka pahu~catI hai, to merI sArI kSamatA aura saba utsAha avasAda meM murajhA kara raha jAtA / apane meM merI niSThA na raha jAtI / socatA ki jAne do kArobAra ko cUlhe meN| jaba meM svayaM nahIM ho sakatA hU~ to kArobAra hokara kyA hogA ? mA~ ne cetAyA / mitra ne samajhAyA / lekina usameM samajhane kI bAta mere lie kyA thI ? A~kheM to mujha meM bhI thIM / dekhatA thA ki saba gaDDhe meM jA rahA hai lekina mujha meM to gaDDhe se bacane yA bacAne kI icchA hI nahIM raha gayI thI / saba kahate the ki tumheM yaha ho kyA gayA hai ? maiM ucaTa kara kahatA ki merI samajha meM nahIM AtA ki maiM kyoM jI rahA hU~ ? maiM bar3I AsAnI se mara sakatA hU~ / aura Apa loga yahI cAhate ho, to yahI ho jAyagA / nahIM to mujhe kyoM kucha sujhAte ho / jagate ko to jagAyA nahIM jA sakatA / Aja usa avasthA ko meM pUrI taraha yAda nahIM kara sakatA hU~ /

Page #126
darzana kI rAha 121 nizceSTatA mujhe priya ho calI thii| aura jaise-jaise nivRttibhAva bar3hatA thA vaise hI sudhA kI A~khoM meM meM dayA pAtra hotA jAtA thA / eka roja kI bAta -- ki maiM sunAtA hU~ ki apanI upAsanA kI koTharI meM akelI baiThakara, A~kha mU~de sudhA prArthanA kara rahI hai / kaha rahI hai ki he bhagavan, mere pati ko subuddhi do / nahIM to mujhe bala do ki unakI rAha se meM haTa jAU~ ? mujhe lekara vaha tumako bhUla rahe haiM aura kartavya ko bhUla rahe haiN| unheM jagAgro, nahIM to mujhe uThA lo / : 3: nahIM, aura meM aba nahIM kahU~gA / hai aba kyA kahane ko ? merA mana jaise jar3a ho gayA / usake bAda mujha se sudhA kI bhora prA~kha uThAkara dekhA nahIM gayA / maiMne soca liyA ki aba vakta A gayA haiM ki maiM kinArA le jAU~ / aise niSphala tiraskRta jIvana se kisakA kyA lAbha ? maiM bhI use kyoM DhoUM ? I lekina vaha ho na paayaa| eka-eka kara pAMca-chaH dina aura bIte / divAlA sira para zrA TUTanevAlA ho gayA / pala bitAnA tapasyA thI / hara pala mAthe para TUTatA pahAr3a dIkhatA / pUrvajoM kI saMcita ijjata dhUla meM milane kI ghar3I A phuNcii| para maiMne kahA ki ho, jo honA hai ho / mujhe usameM kyA karanA hai / para yadi maiMne kucha nahIM kiyA to sudhA ne hI kucha kiyA ! bahAdurI use maiM nahIM kahU~gA / dharma bhI meM nahIM kahU~gA / para jo usase banA, kiyA / vaha gayI, aura rela ke nIce jAkara kaTa gayI / ....... .. kaTane ke sAtha vaha sA~sa lene ko bhI bAkI na rahI / TAMgoM para se vaha nahIM kaTI thii| sira hI kucala gayA thA / aura isa prakAra aMga-bhaMga huA thA ki yAda karate......

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122 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtaka bhAga] __ lekina chor3o usa bAta ko / kahAnI thI so ho gyii| tuma kahoge ki kyA huaa| maiM kahU~gA ki merI A~kha khula gyii| ___taba se maiM mRtyu kA kRtajJa honA sIkha gyaa| sudhA to phira mujha se dUra ho hI nahIM sakI / vaha sadA ko mere sAtha eka ho gyii| aba maiM anubhava karatA hU~ ki mRtyu ke dvAra meM se hI satya ko prApta karanA hogaa| sudhA ne mujhe prApti kI vaha rAha dikhaayii|

Page #128
to lAye ? daphtara jAtA hU~ to sAmane ke ghara ke cabUtare para eka khaTiyA par3I rahatI hai / pAtA hU~ taba bhI vaha khATa vahIM hI milatI hai| vaha dina-rAta vahIM rahatI hai| __ usa para ke AdamI kI tarapha merA jyAdA dhyAna nahIM hai| sivAya isake ki vaha khA~satA bahuta hai aura isa vajaha se Asa-pAsa kAphI gandagI rahatI hai / khaira, maiM Upara se utara sIdhA daphlara calA jAtA hU~ aura zAma ko jInA kholakara Upara ghara AjAtA hU~ / ghara meM se mAlUma huA ki isa nIce par3e AdamI kI ghara vAle bar3I bekadarI karate haiN| aura to aura Upara se DA~Tate-DapaTate bhI rahate haiN| ho to unase eka bAra jarA kahakara dekho na ? ___maiMne kahA, "kahane se to vRthA gA~Tha par3egI, lAbha kucha hogA nahIM, aura maiM nayA anajAna AdamI huuN|" vaha bolI, "rogI ko maranA to hai hI, para kyA aise jAna-bUjhakara mArA jAtA hai| le ke nikAla paTakA hai bAhara ! aura gandagI bhI to isase phailatI hai| maiM to dina-rAta khoM-khoM se parezAna rahatI huuN| kyoM jI ! kucha kiyA nahIM jA sakatA ?" 123

Page #129
124 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] maiMne kahA, "isake sivA ki hama apane ghara meM jagaha deM, dUsarA kucha karanA na karane se kharAba hogaa|" apane ghara meM lAne kI bAta vaha sunane ko taiyAra na thiiN| aise dina kaTate cale ge| eka dina maiM dera se lauttaa| mitra mila gae aura sinemA le ge| aisI dera bhI nahIM thI, sAr3he-nau kA samaya hogA / para daravAjA khaTa-khaTA rahA hU~ aura AvAja lagA rahA hU~, lekina Upara kisI ko kucha khabara hI nahIM hai| isa prayatna meM mujhe pA~ca-sAta minaTa ho ge| mujhe behada burA mAlUma huaa| itane meM sAmane ke cabUtare se AvAja AI, "bAbUjI, Apa khar3e kyoM haiM, yahA~ aajaaie|" eka-Adha bAra to maiMne TAlA / para yaha socakara ki isameM vaha apanA apamAna na samajhe, maiM usake pAsa jA baitthaa| usane kahA, "bahU-beTiyA~ haiM, A~kha laga gaI hogii| Apa yahA~ pArAma se baiTha jaaie| phira kucha dera meM AvAja de lIjiegA, A jaayeNgii|" ___bAtoM-bAtoM meM usakA itihAsa mAlUma huaa| do usake choTe bhAI haiN| inheM usI ne pAlA-posA hai, byAha kiyA hai| usakI pAna kI dUkAna thii| calatI thii| phira usameM ToTA prAne lgaa| paisA detA rahA taba taka bhAI usake the aura unakI bIbiyA~ bhI use mAnatI thiiN| bhAI do paisA lAne lage aura dUkAna uTha gaI to aba use yahA~ paTaka rakhA hai| na davA hai na dArU hai| Upara se tAne aura sunAye jAte haiN| do vakta khAne kA bhI ThIka nhiiN| khakhAra DAlane ke lie rAkha kA eka miTTI kA bartana pAsa thA, phira bhI vaha AdamI idhara-udhara khakhAra detA thaa| vaha dubalA thA, pIlA aura kanapaTI kI haDDiyAM bahuta ubharI huI thiiN| A~kheM andara dhaMsa gaI thiiN| saba milAkara dRzya rucikara na thaa| bhAiyoM kI aura unakI bIbiyoM kI usane sakhta zikAyata kii| ve

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to lAye ? 125 aba A~kha bacAte haiM aura pAsa nahIM phttkte| do-cAra kA jo usa para denA AtA hai, vaha hameM ghar3I bhI caina nahIM lene dete| unakI tarapha balki Asa-pAsa savakI tarapha usake mana meM kar3avAhaTa thI / aura chor3ate-chor3ate bhI vaha mAno isa duniyA ko abhizApa dekara jAnA cAhatA thaa| anta meM usane mujhase kahA ki kyA do rupaye maiM use de sakatA hU~? bar3I meharavAnI hogii| do roja jI lUgA / maiMne kaha diyA thA ki de duuNgaa| ___yahA~ zrImatI kI bAta kahanI cAhie / yaha sahI nahIM hai ki unakI nIMda kumbhakarNI hai / jarA khaTake para jaga jAtI haiN| kintu nau baje unake samaya kI avadhi hai / AvAja para vaha jaga to gaI thIM para nau kaba kA ho cukA thaa| isalie nivighna bhAva se unhoMne mujhe kuNDA khaTakhaTAte aura cillAte rahane diyA / ghar3I mere pAsa rahatI hai, phira bhI zAyada unakA tarIkA yaha batAne ke lie thA ki aba kyA bajA hai ! aba vaha calakara daravAjA kholane ko tatpara hI thIM ki nIce se pukAra banda ho gii| Upara cupake jharokhoM meM se jhAMkakara dekhA ki maiM khATa vAle buDDhe ke pAsa huuN| vaha isa bAta para aprasanna thIM ! kucha dera to dhIraja se sahatI rhiiN| anantara asahya hone para nIce pAkara dvAra kholakara bolI, "pAoge nahIM ?" ____ maiM tatkAla uThA / pAkara kahA, "itanI AvAjeM dI, tumane sunA nahIM ?" bolI, "merI A~kha laga gaI thii| AdhI-AdhI rAta pAoge to maiM kaba taka jAgatI rahU~gI !" ___ "aba to binA AvAja ke jAga gaI ?" "ye buDDhe kI khauM-khauM rAta ko sone detI hai ? usase kyA bAta ho rahI thI ?" saca yaha hai ki vivAha ko pandraha varSa ho gae, para unake guNa maiM abhI nahIM jAnatA / batA diyA do rupaye dene ko kaha AyA huuN|

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126 janendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtadA~ bhAga] klarka AdamI hU~, isase merI girastI kA hAla Apa jAna hI sakate haiN| hisAba kasA-baMdhA rahatA hai / ghaTa-bar3ha kI gujAiza to usameM se zAyada hI nikale / tIsa dina ke vetana meM 28 dina kA kharca / isa taraha do dina hisAba meM sadA car3he rahate haiM / isa caukasa hisAba meM aisI kahIM sandhi nahIM hai ki dayA-mAyA kA usameM se praveza ho sake / bolI, "tumheM mAlUma nahIM, isI bAta para usake ghara ke loga roja kitanA kahate-sunate haiN| hara kisI se vaha kucha-na-kucha mAMgatA rahatA hai / do-do cAra-cAra Ane taka le letA hai / tumhIM na dekho ki ghara vAloM ko haya kitanA burA lagatA hogA ? saba unheM doSa na dete hoMge ? tuma haragija yaha rupaye na denaa| bhalA vaha loga kyA kaheMge ki par3osI hokara hama sabake bIca unheM zarmindA karA deN|" socA ki sacamuca savAla kA yaha pahalU bhArI thA ! yoM to hisAba kI bAta bhI choTI na thI para pati kA diyA vacana patnI ke lie itanA sarvopari hotA hai ki hisAba-kitAba kI ginatI usake Age nahIM hai| para yaha socane kI bAta hai ki rupaye dekara par3osiyoM ke apamAna kA to maiM bhAgI nahIM ? rupaye kA vaha karegA bhI kyA ? na khAne yogya kucha khAyagA, aura kyo! isa bhA~ti agale roja samaya para nIcI nigAha kiye maiM sIdhA daphtara calA gyaa| prAyA to sIdhA car3hatA huA Upara ghara aagyaa| daravAje ke pAsa ke dasa kadama meM atyanta vyastatA ke sAtha rakhatA thA, ki jaise koI bahuta jarUrI kAma hai| binA dekhe maiM dekhatA thA ki khATa para se AzA kI do A~kheM mujha para lagI haiM / usa prAzA ko nirAza kara rahA hU~ yaha bhI nahIM, mAno kAma behada hai, nahIM to-nahIM to| aise cAra-pA~ca roja aura nikala ge| tejI se daravAje se nikalatA aura tejI se dAkhila hotA / phira bhI maiM una A~khoM ko bacA pAyA, ye sAntvanA mujhe na huii| pA~cave yA chaThe roja dekhatA hU~ ki cabUtare para kucha saragarmI hai, ghara

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to lAye ? 127 vAle vyagra haiM / bAhara kAphI loga A-jA rahe haiN| do-cAra pAsa-par3osa ke prAdamI bhI vahA~ jamA haiM / zAyada tabiyata jyAdA kharAba hai| isa taraha maiM bhI vahAM pahuMca gyaa| buDDhA usa vakta behoza thaa| upacAra kiyA jA rahA thA, para loga dekha rahe the ki ghar3I antima hai / aba hoza Ae bhI ki na paaye| maiM eka lohe ke sTUla para khATa ke pAsa baiThA thaa| ghara ke aura loga khar3e the| itane meM use hoza huA, A~kheM kholI, idhara-udhara dekhaa| phira mujha para A~kheM ttikiiN| jaise mujhe pahacAnane meM kucha samaya lgaa| phira bolA, "to lAye ?" kahakara merI tarapha dekhate hue usakI A~kheM phaTI-kI-phaTI raha gii| maiM usakI A~khoM kI mora dekhatA raha gyaa| loga mauta ko pahacAna ge| ve rone lge| usakI mA~khoM meM maiM jo dekha rahA thA vaha mauta hI thI, yA ki aba bhI prazna thA-"lAye ?" ___ mujhe lagA ki jaise mere aura sabake prati vaha yahI pUchatA huA gayA hai, "to lAye ?"

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vyartha prayatna cintAmariNa ko avasthA adhika nahIM hai / deha se dubalA hai, mastaka bar3A, A~kheM choTI aura tIvra / ceharA prabhAvAtpAdaka / lekhaka hai, aura prophesara / kama likhatA hai, para likhatA hai to gahana / sAthI adhyApakoM meM acchI khyAti hai / bahuta par3hatA hai| vetana milatA hai pA~ca sau, bacatA eka paisA nahIM / yaha usa vakta jaba ki vaha akelA hai, zAdI nahIM kI / koI vyasana use nahIM hai / pichale zanivAra kI saMdhyA ko pahalI bAra sigareTa usane pI / vaha use burI mAlUma huI, isIlie haThapUrvaka use usane pUrA pIkara chor3A / yaha usane sa~gI-sAthiyoM ke bIca meM nahIM kiyA, ekAnta meM sirpha apane sAmane kiyA / apane saMkalpa meM vaha sa~gI-sAthiyoM kA sAtha nahIM cAhatA / "maiM akelA calU~gA, akelA / maiM, maiM hU~ / " aba taka koI kabhI use sigareTa na pilA sakA / jaba sabane dekha liyA ki vaha vijeya hai, taba usane socA ki maiM aba khuda apane para vijaya pAU~gA isalie usane ekAnta kamare meM sparddhApUrvaka sigareTa jalA kara pii| usa kA mana macalA AyA, ubakI Ane lagI, lekina zahIda kI bhAMti vaha saba saha gayA / usane socA ki yaha saba mana kI kamajorI hai / maiM apane para vijaya pAU~gA / striyA~ kaI usake jIvana meM AI haiM, lekina saba rAha meM TUTa gaI haiM / 128

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vyartha prayatna 126 aura cintAmariNa unake kSata-vikSata hRdayoM ke bIca meM se, dAe~-bAe~ aba battIsavAM varSa pAra kara / dekhatA huA, barAbara apanI rAha para calatA rahA hai / kabhI sUnA-sA lagatA hai, to lago kucha yAda uThatI hai, to uTho / yaha to vyaktitva kI truTi hai / tabhI to cAhie sAdhanA / zraura vaha bhItara kA aura bAhara kA saba sUnApana pI jAnA cAhatA hai / vaha nahIM jAtA sinemA, nahIM dekhatA mele-tamAze, jalase jalUsa, aura nahIM zAmila hotA hA-hA - hI - hI meM / vaha khAlI vakta ko khAlI rakhatA hai aura vakta ke khAlIpana se apanI jAna bacAne ke lie kisI bhI Dhakosale meM, kisI bhI oTa meM, jA chipane meM vizvAsa nahIM krtaa| vaha vakta ko bitAegA nahIM, use jhelegA / vaha usa samaya kI zUnyatA meM A~kha gar3A kara dekhatA hai / dekhatA hai ki, jo ho, dokhe / apane mana kI hI prAkAMkSAtroM kI tasvIroM ko usa varNahIna samaya ke paTa para dekha kara to mAna jAne vAlA cintAmariga hai nahIM / vaha vahI dekhanA cAhatA hai, jo hai / para jo hai, vaha zUnya hai / zUnya apane peTa meM bhI zUnya hI hai / isalie dIkhatA yaha hai ki kucha nahIM / para nahIM kucha dIkhatA to na dIkhe, cintAmariNa hAranevAlA nahIM hai, bhAganevAlA nahIM hai / kyA saba kucha eka korA 'nahIM' hai, yaha vaha mAna le ? A~kheM usakI banda nahIM haiM, vaha jagat para itanI khulI haiM jitanI khula sakatI haiM / dekhatA hai-- ye lar3akiyA~ haiM, aisI ha~satI haiM jaise phuhArA / Aja nIle raMga kI sAr3I hai to kala lAla raMga kI / jaise phUloM se bharA bagIcA ho, vaise unase bharA saMsAra hai / dIkhatA hai - yaha cA~danI cauka hai / yahA~ saba kucha apane ko dikha rahA hai / yaha vilAyatI bAjAra hai, jahA~ kyA nahIM haiM jo lubhAvanA hai / saba dekhatA hai, lekina... a~ha... usakA mana una meM khiMcAye nahIM khiMcatA / dekhatA hai - sar3aka ke kinAre par3e ye kor3hI haiM, ye bhikhArI / aspatAla meM se yaha cIkha nA rahI hai / ye maraghaTa para murdA liye jA rahe haiM, jo ghar3I -: -bhara pahale jindA thaa| yaha zora hai, yaha har3atAla hai, yaha jalUsa hai, yaha sabhA

Page #135
130 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavaH bhAga ] hai | vaha saba dekhatA hai, para usakA mana inameM se kisI se nahIM bharatA / vaha sUraja nikala rahA hai / AsamAna kaise raMga se khila AyA hai / kiraNoM kI kaisI lahareM cahu~- prora vyApa rahI haiM / vaha dekho sUraja lAlalAla gola-gola uga AyA / ... yaha sandhyA A gii| kaisI mIThI a~dhiyArI hai / bAdala kaise salone, raMga-biraMge aura pyAre lagate haiM / ... yaha bAdala kar3akA / ghana-ghora ghaTA ghira AI / vaha bijalI camaka gaI / aba meha par3egA / pakSI basere kI Toha meM bhAge jA rahe haiM / ... vaha saba dekhatA hai aura prasanna ho jAtA hai / gAya raMbhA rahI haiH bachar3A kahA~ hai, kahA~ hai ? rassI se chUTa kara bachar3A vaha kUdatA AyA aura bhare thana meM mu~ha mArane lagA / per3a khar3e haiM jA havA kI thapakI lagI nahIM ki jhUma uThate haiM / sAla-sAla khaTTe-mIThe phala dete haiM / ... ghAsa hai, jo nanhIM-nanhIM cAroM ora dharatI para uga chAI jAtI hai aura phira becArI havA caubIsoM ghaNTe calatI bhItara lekara unhIM nathanoM bahatI rahatI haiN| pAnI 1 / vaha calate pairoM kI coTa ke nIce pisa mu~ha uThAkara dhUpa kI ora dekhane lagatI hai| rahatI hai aura caubIsoM ghaNTe hama use nathanoM se bAhara kara dete haiM / aura vaha bahatI rahatI hai, Upara se barasatA hai to dharatI meM se bhI phUTatA hai| bAdala meM aura bAsana meM, samAna bhAvase bharA huA rahatA hai |... cintAmaNi saba dekhatA hai / jijJAsA se bharA huA saba dekhatA hai / nadI meM aura nala meM pAnI pAnI hI banA se, vismaya se, prazna kabUtara kI jor3I baiThI kyA kara rahI hai ? kyA kara rahI hai ? bar3I mana hai ! guTura guTara-gU vaha kyA kara rahI haiM ? ... cintAmaNi Adara ke sAtha saba dekhatA hai / vaha saba cAhatA hai, isalie vaha kucha nahIM caahtaa| usakA kamarA jJAna kI kitAboM se bharA par3A hai / naI se naI aura purAnI se purAnI kitAbeM usakI apanI haiM / saba haiM, para kucha nahIM hai / usakA apanA ApA kahA~ haiM ? aura ina sabakA zrApA kahA~ hai ?...

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vyartha prayatna 131 aura yaha usakA prazna, cAhe jitanA soce, jitanA par3he, aura bhI tIvratA se usake bhItara aisA prAvarta detA huA ghumar3atA rahatA hai, jaise vyathA kI ghU~Ta / uttara kahA~ hai, kahA~ hai ? kahIM se bhI to vaha usake pAsa calake nahIM AtA hai / jo hai prazna hai / 'yaha' kyA hai ? - nahIM mAlUma / 'vaha' kyA hai ? - nahIM mAlUma | para ina sArI kitAboM kI madada se aura apane mana kI madada se itanA avazya mAlUma hai ki 'yaha' 'yaha' nahIM hai, 'vaha' 'vaha' nahIM hai / taba 'yaha' aura 'vaha' kyA hai, kaise mAlUma ho ? yahI kaise mAlUma ho ki aise mAlUma ho ? cintAmariNa dubalA hotA jAtA hai| striyoM se miThAsa se bolatA hai / aura muskarAkara bolatA hai / vaha jAnatA hai, baccoM, mUrkhoM aura striyoM se aise hI bolanA cAhie / vidvAnoM se vaha bolatA hI nahIM / bolatA hai to aura bhI muskarAkara bolatA hai, kyoMki jAnatA hai ki ve sabase bhArI mUrkha hote haiM / para hAya, ye saba mUrkha isIse usa para aura mugdha hote haiM / taba vaha unake lie ronA cAhatA hai / usako bar3A krodha AtA hai / para kauna hai jo nirIha nahIM hai aura jisa para vaha krodha taka kara sake ? kala zAma vaha kyoM hviskI kI botala sAtha letA AyA, kyA koI jAnatA hai ? zAyada koI nahIM jAnatA / aura vaha kyA jAnatA hai ? kyA vaha apane Upara vijaya pAnA cAhatA hai ? vaha saba bAta para vismita hai, lajjita hai / jitane dhokhe khar3e kiye zarAba se use atyanta ghRNA hai / AdamI ne unameM zAyada sabase bar3A yaha hai / eka isase bhI bar3A dhokhA hai, vaha hai paramAtmA / lekina vaha to itanA bar3A hai ki usa meM par3a kara AdamI ko yaha sUjha hI nahIM rahatI ki yaha dhokhA hai| ki yaha vaha khuda nahIM hai, jo hai zarAba hai, zarAbI naze meM bhI jAnatA hai dhokhA hai /

Page #137
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavAM bhAga ] prAja pichale ATha varSoM se cintAmaNi apane prANa - praraNa se khojatA rahA haiM ki vaha mile jise kahate haiM - 'paramAtmA'... vaha eka aura akelA jhUTha, jisake Age saba jhUTha sira jhukAte haiM; vaha dhokhA jisameM hamArI saba saccAI bahakara aisI kho jAtI hai jaise samudra meM nadiyA~; vaha zUnyatA jisameM hamArA saba vAstava samAyA huA hai / vaha paramAtmA mile jisameM - saba kucha eka sAtha milatA hai / vaha nazA jo kabhI utare hI nahIM / use cAhie vahI sanAtana, zAzvata, avAstava satya jisake AzIrvAda se nitaprati raGga badalane vAlA saba jhUTha sarasa ho jAtA hai| vaha eka jisakA sabako AsarA hai / 132 para saba jJAna chAna mArA vaha to kahIM milA nhiiN| kahIM nahIM milA, kahIM nahIM milaa| kyA vaha milegA bhI ? nahIM hI milA, to cintAmariNa zrAja yaha hviskI kI botala le zrayA hai / isakI madada se pA~ca minaTa, ghaNTA prAdha-ghaNTA to jarUra hI kucha na pAne para bhI saba kucha pA rahA jaisA apane ko samajhegA / are, kucha surUra to milegA / khudI bhI to bekhudI meM hI hai / vaha khudI bhI kyA kucha na milegI ? botala AlamArI meM rakhakara vaha apane akele kamare meM palaGga para zrAkara leTa gayA / vaha chata kI tarapha dekhatA huA socatA rahA, socatA rahA / phira IzopaniSad lAkara leTe-leTe use par3hane lagA / eka mantra par3hA aura usameM DUba gayA / kitAba banda karake eka tarapha rakha dI aura donoM hAthoM se zrIMkha mIMcakara karavaTa lekara par3a rahA / rAtabhara kyA use nIMda A sakI ? lekina vaha jAgatA bhI nahIM rhaa| tamAma rAta usakA sira cakarAtA rhaa| bIca meM kaI bAra uThakara barAmade se bAhara Akara ThaNDI havA meM vaha Tahala-Tahala gayA / para dimAga meM kyA dhamAdhama cala rahA thA ki ghar3I-bhara ko cupa na huA / Akhira cAra baje kA ghaNTA usane sApha sunA / usane apanI ghar3I dekhI / sekinDa se kinDa sahI thI / 1

Page #138
vyartha prayatna vaha zabhya-bhAva se usa cAra ko cAroM-ora dekhane lagAkyA vaha pAgala ho jAyagA ? kyA hai ? rozanI ! rozanI kyoM ? kyA hai ? yaha kyA hai ? vaha kyA hai ? maiM kyA hU~ ? saba kyA hai ? kacha nahIM hai ? to 'kucha nahIM kyA hai ? aura vaha kahA~ hai jo saba kahIM ? kahA~ hai vaha ? are, kahA~ hai vaha ?...moha !... aura usane AlamArI meM se botala nikAlI aura do pega pI gayA ! -

Page #139
tribenI tribenI Akhira cauka se bAhara aaii| yaha kulacchanI lar3akA jAne kahA~ dhUla meM khelatA phiratA hai| aura AtA hai to rotA huaa| ghar3Ibhara caina nahIM lene detA, hA~ to| - cauka se bAhara Akara kAna pakar3a-kara usane kahA, "kyoM re ! tU kahA~ thA ? bola kahAM thA ? bolatA nahIM ?-to jA, mara / " baccA na bolA, na gayA, na marA / rotA AyA thA, so ronA bhI banda ho gayA aura muha phulA kara gumasuma khar3A ho gyaa| tribenI ne kAna aura khIMca kara kahA, "kyoM re ! javAba kyoM nahIM detA, kahA~ gayA thA ? lar3ake kA nAma ripudamana hai / vaha phUle kATha ke laTThe kI nAI aTala aura aparAjita banA huA khar3A rhaa| "abhI to kapar3e pahanAe the, abhI kaise kIcar3a kara lAyA ? kyoM re ! gayA kahA~ thA ?" kaha kara tribenI ghara meM khAne ko ho to bacce ke lie lene calI gii| ripudamana A~gana meM akelA raha gyaa| pahale to vaha khar3A rahA, khar3A rahA / phira usake bAda cupacApa bAhara nikalA aura pAsa ke eka kue~ para car3ha, usameM paira laTakA kara baiTha gyaa| 134

Page #140
tribenI 135 kucha gajaka-revar3I hAtha meM lie tribenI jo bAhara AI to dekhatI hai, AMgana meM cir3iyA kA pUta bhI nahIM hai| bolI, "pAjI kahIM kA / " aura ekadama calatI huI daravAje se bAhara A gii| pukAra kara bolI, "pro, kahA~ gayA re ? le, yaha le|" . ____itane meM dekhatI kyA hai ki vaha sAmane kue~ meM paira laTakAe jo baiThA hai, vaha hai ripudamana / lapakI aura bA~ha pakar3a kara jhaTake se use uThAkara ghasITatI huI le calI / ghisaTate hue bAlaka bolA, 'nahIM khaauuNgaa| kucha nahIM khAU~gA / kabhI nahIM khaauuNgaa|" aba bAlaka ne apanA bojha hI chor3a diyA, aura vaha dharatI para girA jAne lgaa| usako sIdhA thAme rakhane meM tribenI kI kalAI duHkha clii| taba usane bAlaka kI bA~ha chor3a kara kahA, "nahIM khAyagA ! tU nahIM khAyagA ?" aura yaha kaha kara use thappar3oM, lAtoM se mArane lgii| bAlaka royA bilakula nahIM / ulaTe uddaNDatA se cillAtA rahA"mAra le Aja / tU khUba mAra le| jI bhara kara mAra le / maiM nahIM, nahIM, nahIM khaauuNgaa|" "mata khA, mata khA, caMDAla !" kaha kara hAtha kI gajaka aura revar3I ko jora se bacce ke sira para paTaka kara tribenI jhIMkatI huI ghara meM calI gii| andara cUlhe ke pAsa gaI / pA~ca mandI ho gaI thii| usane dhuA~ dekara jalatI huI lakar3I ko jora se cUlhe ke bhItara kiyaa| pAsa se uThA kara dUsarI lakar3I ko bhI usameM ThUsA / phira jora-jora se phUka mArane lagI aura bIca-bIca meM jhallAtI jAtI thii| prAga Akhira bala aaii| usane cUlhe kI baTaloI ko ThIka kiyaa| phira vahIM cUlhe ke barAbara mAthe ko hathelI meM lekara baiTha rhii| ...aba taka nahIM pAye ! chuTTI nahIM huI ? U~ha, hogA kucha |...sc, aba mujha se nahIM hotA kAma / vaha jAneM, unakA kAma jAne aba / phira:::

Page #141
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga ] 5 136 yaha sA~sata prAye sAla sira para rakkhI hai / bhagavAn, tUne aurata ko kyoM janamAyA ? Aye dina yahI dhandhe, tisa para kleza ! mujha se nahIM hotA, nahIM hotA / sira to phaTA jAtA hai, kaise karU~ ? ... uTha-kara kamare meM lAkara khATa para baiTha gaI / usakA jI ThIka nahIM rahatA / vyAha ke bAda se hI kucha gar3abar3a hAla hai| tabiyata anamanAI, micalAI rahatI hai / sira meM darda to hara ghar3I banA rahatA hai / harArata bhI laga prAyA karatI hai| ArAma cAhatI hai, para ArAma kahA~ milatA hai ? aura milatA hai to usase bhI ukatAhaTa jaldI A jAtI hai / eka dina kaTatA hai, dUsarA dina A jAtA hai| usakI samajha meM nahIM zrAtA, ye dina para-dina kyoM Ate haiM ? kahA~ se Ate haiM ? saba kucha eka sAtha khatama kyoM nahIM ho jAtA ? jInA eka dina ke lie ho aura khUba khuzI se phulajhar3I kI taraha usa dina jI liyA jAya, phira agale dina ke lie kucha rahe hI nahIM, aisA ho to kyA harja hai ? dekho, par3osa meM unake ghara kaisI ha~sI rahatI hai / bacce kaise phUla se khile rahate haiM / eka hama haiM ki . U~ha... haiM to haiM ! - e~ vakta kyA ho gayA ? vaha Ate na hoM ? di socane lagI ki vaha uThe, jAkara garama pAnI ThIka kara de, kucha nAzte kA bandobasta kara de, kyoMki vaha Ate hI hoMge / trivenI ke pati manasArAma skUla meM mudarrisa haiN| caubIsa rupae mAhavAra pAte haiM / byAha ko pA~ca se kucha hI Upara sAla hue haiN| bar3A baccA ripudamana hai hI / eka lar3akI huI thI, jo eka barasa ke Upara kI hokara cecaka meM jAtI rhii| dUsarA baccA marA paidA huA, AkhirI garbha gira gyaa| isa taraha tIna prAraNI haiN| so, caubIsa meM ka taraha se gRhasthI maje meM nibha jAtI hai| do-cAra rupaye bacA kara ve donoM jane prAyandA ke lie saiMta kara jor3ate bhI jAte haiM / isa bhA~ti gRhasthI kI gAr3I cala hI rahI hai| cala to rahI hai, para cU ~-cU N bhI karatI jAtI hai| jiyA jA rahA hai,

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trivenI 137 para jIne kA kucha rasa nahIM mila rahA hai| donoM jane milate to haiM, bolate bhI haiM; Aye sAla donoM apane bIca naI sRSTi bhI hai, cala rahA hai / jo ho rahA hai, hue jA rahA hai| nahIM / mAno saba kucha bItane ke lie bIta rahA hai kahIM chuTTI hogI / / karate haiM / para DharrA kucha lutfa nahIM, sAra mauta AvegI taba , trivenI soca rahI thI ki aba uThU jAU~, unake lie pAnI ThIka kara dU~ / itane meM pati A gaye / Ate vakta rAste meM unhoMne dekhA thA ki ripudamana dharatI se cipaTa kara par3A hai / rUThA mAlUma hotA hai / zAyada piTA ho / unhoMne pUchA thA, "kyoM re ! kyoM ro rahA hai ?" jaba pUchane aura bA~ha pakar3a kara Tikane se bhI lar3akA nahIM bolA, taba mAsTara ne kahA, "mA~ ne mArA hogA / kyoM ?" bAlaka phira bhI kucha na bolA / isa para bhArI mana se mAsTara bacce ko vahIM chor3a cupa-cApa cale Aye | tribenI uTha rahI thI ki pati ko AtA dekha kara khATa para hI baiThI rahIM / pati kamare meM Aye, sAphA utAra kara khU~TI para laTakA diyA, koTa bhI utAra kara TAMga diyA aura binA bole cupacApa bAhara prAMgana meM prA gaye / vahA~ ghar3e se pAnI lekara hAtha-mu~ha dhone lage / tribenI baiThI dekhatI rhii| donoM meM se koI kucha nahIM bolaa| pati ne ArAma se vakta lagA kara hAtha-mu~ha dhoyA, a~goche se poMchA, phira kamare meM Aye / vahA~ zrAkara koTa pahanA aura sAphA sira para rakhate hue bole"maiM khAnA nahIM khAU~gA Aja / " pala-bhara mauna rahakara trivenI ne kahA, "khAnA nahIM khAoge / kala bhI nahIM khAoge ?" "nahIM dogI to nahIM khAU~gA / dekho, merA intajAra mata karanA / lauTane meM mujhe bhAja dera ho sakatI hai / " "kucha kAma hai ?"

Page #143
jainendra kI kahAniyAM [sAtavA~ bhAga "kAma bhI hai|" __isake bAda tribenI ne kucha nahIM pUchA / mAsTarajI ne bhI kucha apekSA nahIM kI aura kadama bar3hAkara cale gye| tribenI kucha dera to vahIM-kI-vahIM baiThI rhii| thor3I dera bAda uThI aura jAkara cUlhe meM pAnI jhoMka diyA, baTaloI ko utArakara dharatI meM paTaka diyA / phira khATa para muMha DhA~pakara par3a gii| AdhA ghaNTA hunA hogA ki tribenI uThI / eka sAtha uThakara jhADU se ghara kA A~gana buhArane lgii| vahA~ kUr3A jyAdA nahIM thA, para tribenI A~gana sAfa karanA cAhatI thii| buhArI hAtha meM thI, tabhI usane sunA ki koI daravAje ke bAhara se 'unheM pUcha rahA hai / pUcha rahA hai, "mAsTara mansArAmajI kA ghara kyA yahI hai ?-mAsTarajI ! mAsTarajI !!" pahale to vaha usa svara para cauMkane ko huI, phira 'hogA koI' mana meM kahatI huI apane kAma meM lagI rhii| itane meM hI prAgata vyakti andara A gayA aura AMgana ke kinAre khar3e hokara pukArane lagA, "mAsTara mansArAmajI, mAsTarajI haiM ?" tribenI ne A~kha Upara uThAkara dekhA / dekhakara vaha sanna raha gii| buhArI hAtha se khisaka gaI / vaha vyakti bhI akacakA gyaa| haThAt bolA, "mAsTarajI haiM ? maiM milane AyA thaa|" hA kSaNeka to tribenI vimUr3ha ho gii| phira usake muMha se nikalA 'praayo|' nikalA to, para vaha khar3I vahIM-kI-vahIM raha gii| ___ vyakti ne bilakula hI pAsa Akara mAno usakI A~khoM meM kahA, "maiM milane AyA huuN| vaha haiM ?" aba tribenI svastha ho AI / muskarAkara bolI, "vaha to nahIM haiM".... kahakara andara gaI aura usane kone se mor3hA khIMcakara apanI dhotI se use jhAr3akara khATa ke pAsa bichA diyaa| kinAre eka kATha kI kursI par3I thI, use bhI bichA diyaa| nIce par3I darI khIMcakara, taha karake

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tribenI 136 kursI para DAla dI / vyakti A~gana meM khar3A thA / tribenI ne kahA, 1 "Aie / " vyakti ne ha~sakara kahA, "lekina maiM to eka hU~ / "-- aura vaha kamare meM gayA / tribenI ne udhara dhyAna na dekara kahA, "baiThie / " vyakti ke baiThane se pUrva vaha hI kamare se bAhara calI gii| cauke meM pahu~cakara use acaraja huA ki usane yaha cUlhe meM pAnI kaba DAla diyA, kyoM DAla diyA ? kyA aba a~gIThI meM Aga sulagAve ? usane a~gIThI lI aura A~gana se hokara ghara ke bAhara calI / vyakti ne A~gana meM se jAte hue use dekhakara kahA, "kyA kara rahI ho ? kyA irAdA hai ?" lekina tribenI ne usakI bAta sunI bhI nahIM aura bAhara jAkara eka par3osina se kahA, "bIbIjI, apane hema se cAra paise kA dahI ma~gA do / zraura rabar3I, , - cAra paise kI rabar3I / aura do bIr3e pAna / ... aura tumhAre ghara meM A~ca ho gaI haiM ? do koyale A~A~ca ke aura de do, bIbIjI ! mujhe jaldI hai / " kahakara par3osina ko paise de diye aura a~gIThI meM koyale lekara calI AI | jA rahI thI, taba vyakti ne phira kahA, "yaha kara kyA rahI ho ?" tribenI ne kucha nahIM sunA / cauke meM jA a~gIThI meM koyale DAlakara vaha jaldI-jaldI phUka mArakara unheM dahakAne meM lagI rahI / zrAMca ho gaI, taba vahI AlU kI baTaloI usa para rakha dI / aba kamare meM AI / atithi ne kahA, "yaha kyA kara rahI ho ? dekhanA kucha... / " " vaha bolI, "mAsTarajI yahA~ nahIM haiM...' " nahIM haiM ? kaba AyeMge ?"

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140 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] "mAlUma nahIM / dera bhI ho sakatI hai|" "kitanI dera ?" "mAlUma nhiiN|" "acchA, to maiM cluu| milanA thaa| mujhe isI gAr3I se jAnA "pApa mAsTarajI se hI milane Aye the ? vaha to haiM nhiiN|" vyakti kucha dera tribenI ko dekhatA rhaa| vaha bhI dekhatI rhii| sahasA vaha bolA, "merA tA~gA khar3A hai| tAMge vAlA intaz2Ara karatA hogaa|" tribenI ne kucha nahIM kahA, cupacApa khar3I rhii| jaba dekhA ki use bolanA hI hogA, nahIM to kahIM yaha AdamI pratyAzA se use dekhatA hI na jAya, taba bolI, "maiM kyA kaha sakatI huuN| Apa Aye haiM / jAnA cAheM to rokane vAle mAsTarajI hote, vaha haiM nahIM / kyA unake nAte maiM rukane ko kaha sakatI hU~ ?" vyakti ne kahA, "tribenI, hama saca kyoM na boleM ? saca yaha hai ki mujhe mAlUma nhiiN| aura aba to kala mujhe kAnapura z2arUra pahu~canA hai| yaha AkhirI gAr3I hai / mujhe jAne do, tribenI !" tribenI ne kahA, "jAmro na / maiM kyA kucha kahatI hU~ ?" "lekina tuma nArAz2a to nahIM ho ?" nArAz2a ! nArAja hokara kyA kara lUgI ?" "dekho tribenI, isIse mujhe aura bhI calanA caahie| lo, maiM calA / " vyakti kursI se uThA / tribenI daravAje kI rAha chor3a alaga ho gii| jaise kisI kI rAha ke bIca meM hokara khar3I hone vAlI vaha kauna hai ?-vaha koI nahIM hai| pati kI patnI hai aura pati isa samaya nahIM hai|

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tribenI vyakti ne kahA, 'acchA to trivenI, mujhe mApha karanA / " trivenI kucha nahIM bolI / vyakti calakara A~gana meM A gayA / kamare meM se hI aba tribenI ne kahA, "lekina sunro meM pUchatI hU~, tuma zraye kyoM ?" 141 vyakti mur3akara trivenI kI ora dekhatA huA khar3A raha gayA / dina hue, jindagI meM eka bAta AI thI / vaha prAI nahIM ki bIta gaI / usa nanhIM sI bAta kI samAdhi ke Upara se barasa-ke-barasa ghar3adhar3Ate hue nikala gaye haiM / vahI bItI bAta una saba varSoM ko vyartha banAkara Aja koMpala phor3akara harI-harI uTha AnA cAhatI hai kyA ! na, na, so na hone devA hogA | atithi kucha na bolA / tribenI ne kahA, "nahIM Ate to kucha harja thA ?" vyakti yaha sunakara ekAeka lauTakara kamare meM A gayA aura kursI para baiTha gyaa| baiThakara thiratA se bolA, "suno tribenI, isake bAda gAr3I rAta ke eka baje jAtI hai / lekina khaira, eka kAma karo / tA~ge meM se samAna ma~gavA lo|" " sAmAna ma~gavA lU ?" "hA~, ma~gavA sakatI ho| yaha haiM tA~ge vAle ke paise | para tribenI, bar3I dayA ho agara na ma~gavAo / mere yahA~ rahane se kisako sukha milegA ? tumako nahIM, mujhako nahIM / phira kisako ?... tribenI, maiM phira kahatA hU~, mujhako jAne do / " tribenI kucha dera cupa rhii| phira dhIme-se-dhIme bolI, "meM to kucha bhI nahIM khtii| maiMne kabhI tumheM likhA ? tumheM bulAyA ? - phira tuma kyoM Aye ?" vyakti lajjA se kucha lAla ho prAyA, jaise prabhiyukta ho, bolA, "maiM yaha nahIM jAnatA thA, trivenI | saca, nahIM jAnatA thA / nahIM to - "

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [ sAtavA~ bhAga ] usa samaya zIghratA se tribenI ne kahA, "jAnA bilakula jarUrI hai ? - bilakula ?" 142 "jarUrI ? -- lekina maiM tribenI / isalie bilakula jarUrI hai / " tumako eka kSaNa bhI duHkha nahIM de sakatA, itane meM par3osina kA vaha lar3akA hema 'cAcI-cAcI' kahatA huA andara AyA aura cAra-cAra paise kA dahI aura rabar3I aura do bIr3e dikhAkara bolA, "cAcI, dekha, maiM daur3akara lAyA hU~ / dahI vAlA kama detA thA / maiM bhalA kama lene vAlA hU~ ? merA nAma hai, hema / maiMne kahA, aura rakha / usane aura rkhaa| maiMne kahA, aura rakha / vaha idhara-udhara karane lagA | cAcI, usane samajhA, maiM lar3akA huuN| merA nAma hai hema / maiMne kahA, rakhatA hai yA nahIM / cAcI, rakhavA ke chor3A rakhavA ke / -- cAcI, aba tumhIM batAo, isa kAma kA merA eka paisA huA ki nahIM ? kyoM cAcI ?" cAcI tribenI ne kahA, "eka nahIM, do / lA, yaha cIz2a yahA~ mor3he para rakha de| aura dekha, hema bhaiyA, cauke meM se daur3a ke eka taztarI to le A / " taztarI A gaI / sAmAna usa para rakha diyA gyaa| do paise hema ne pAye aura vaha uchalatA huA bhAga gayA / tribenI ne atithi se kahA, "to meM khAnA na banAU~ / " atithi ne Azcarya se kahA, "khAnA ? khAnA banAne kI soca rahI thIM ?" "kaho to na banAU~ / " atithi ne jora se kahA, "nahIM bilakula nhiiN| maiM mAnatA hU~, maiMne galatI kI, meM AyA / maiM nahIM khAU~gA / meM nahIM khA sktaa| maiM isI gAr3I se calA jAU~gA / " 1 tribenI use dekhatI rhii| bolI, "to ina cIz2oM ko vApasa kara

Page #148
. tribenI 143 dU? mere dasa paise kharca hue haiM / dasa paise,--jAnate ho ? para tuma bar3e prAdamI ho-kyA jaanoge|" kahakara vaha kaThina ha~sI ha~sI / bolI, "aura inheM aba vApasa kauna karegA ?" vyakti kucha dera to mAno sahamA-sA raha gyaa| phira ekAeka vaha khila kara ha~sA / jora se bolA, "chodd'o,-chodd'o| acchA, yaha batAo, . tumhAre kyA bAla-bacce haiM ?" kahakara vaha aura bhI hNsaa| tribenI kI muskarAhaTa phaila gaI, para vaha muskarAhaTa kaThina se aura kaThina ho pAI / bolI, "bAla-baccA ! haiM kyoM nhiiN| hue cAra, hai eka / bAhara tumheM koI nahIM milA ?" vyakti kI ha~sI bhI isa para sahasA ruka gii| mUr3ha banA vaha bolA, 'kyA-pA"... tribenI ne usI bhAva se kahA, "kyA-yA nahIM, bAla-baccA ! saca, tumheM bAhara koI nahIM milA ?" vyakti ne ha~sakara kahA, "tuma jAne kaisI bAta karatI ho ! para, sacamuca eka lar3ake se maiMne makAna pUchA thaa| vaha dharatI para par3A thaa| merI bAta sunakara cupacApa uThA aura mujhe yaha makAna batA gyaa| phira jAkara vahIM leTa gayA / lekina tuma kaha kyA rahI ho?" ___ maiM kaha rahI haiM, "bAla-baccA" aura usakI ha~sI aura bhI anabUjha ho gii| tribenI kI isa ha~sI ko dekhakara vyakti kA~pakara pIlA par3a gyaa| phira ekAeka vyasta bhAva se bolA, "dekho-dekho, maiM kahatA na thA, majhe jAnA caahie| dekho, aba tuma ro rahI ho / maiMne, saca, bar3I bhUla kI, maiM AyA / mujhe mAfa karo, tribenI / maiM claa| tribenI, isI minaTa calA jA rahA huuN| phira tuma kyoM ropro ?" ___isa AdamI ke mana kI vyathA ko kyA vaha samajhatI nahIM ?-taba vaha use apane A~suoM se kaise bar3hA de ? use apanA duHkha apanA pApa

Page #149
144 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAvA~ bhAga ] mAlUma huA / vaha gumasuma khar3I raha gaI / A~khoM meM jo pAnI A rahA thA, vahIM ruka gayA / aura sacamuca vaha prasanna banI bolI, "kabhI rAjIkhuzI kA khata sAla hai mahIne meM nahIM DAla de sakate ? itanA kAma rahatA hai !" vyakti ne rukakara kahA, "kAma ? para aba to khata nahIM hI DAla sakatA / batAno, kyoM DAlU ? aura rAjI khuzI / oha, rAjI aura khuzI to maiM sadA kA hU~ / " tribenI ne asamanjasa meM kahA, "acchA acchA / jaisI tumhArI marjI / merI kucha icchA nahIM hai / khuza raho, yaha cAhie / ... acchA aura to kucha nakhA sake, lo, yaha pAna to le lo / " hAthoM se uThAkara tribenI ne taztarI sAmane kara dI / tithi ne rukakara kahA, "pAna, maiM" - tribenI aba bhI haThAt muskarAI / bolI, "pAna bhI nahIM khAteto, jAne do / " vyakti ne usa murjhAI muskAna ko dekhA aura jaldI macAkara kahA, "acchA lAbho, jaldI lAno / " aura rakhakara phira uThAI huI tribenI ke hAthoM meM thamI taztarI meM se mAno jhapaTakara bIr3A usane uThA liyA / tribenI ne kahA, "idhara sTezana se to kabhI-kabhI gujarate hoge / yadi kAma kA haraja na ho, chaThe-chamAhe darzana de doge to RNa rahegA / " vyakti ne kahA, "RraNa ! tuma jAnatI nahIM, tribenI / lekina tumhAre pratApa se aba yaha kasUra mujha se na hogA / " yaha kahakara vaha haTha - pUrvaka apane ko sa~bhAlakara cala hI diyA / pAna hAtha meM rahA / tribenI dekhatI rahI, dekhatI rhii| phira mAno mUrcchA se jAgakara ekadama karttavyatatpara ho pdd'ii| socane lagI, rAta ko jaba pati praveMge, meM maiM unase kSamA mAMgakara apane sutroM se unakA saba krodha bahA dU~gI / maiM bar3I svArthina hU~, bar3I svArthina hU~ / isI taraha kI bAteM socate-socate

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tribenI 145 lekina bacce ne taka nahIM prakaTa hone vaha bAhara gaI aura bacce ko goda meM uThAkara cUmatI huI ghara le AI / usase ro-rokara mAphI mAMgane lagI aura manAne lgii| jaba taka done kI pUrI rabar3I nahIM khA lI taba diyA ki usakA krodha tanika bhI manda huA hai / yaha bhAva huA ki yaha baccA itanA bar3A kyoM ho gayA ki meM Aja ise apanA stana pAna nahIM karA sakatI / usakI chAtI meM mAno dUdha umar3ane usa samaya usa nArI meM lagA /

Page #151
prema kI bAta 1 bAta kA prema para AnA thA ki prasAda bole, "jI nahIM, maiM mAphI cAhatA hU~ / prema meM niyama nahIM hotA / niyama AdamI banAtA hai / prema para usakA basa nahIM / vaha aisI cIja hai, jaise bhUkampa / vaha zrApa meM se nahIM AtA hai, hama meM se nahIM AtA hai, zragama, agocara meM se AtA hai / yA jAne kambakhta kahA~ se AtA hai / usa para bAta nahIM kI jA sakatI / " prasAda pacAsa para pahu~cate hoMge / para kabhI unheM bhI umra bhUla jAtI hai, hameM bhI bhUla jAtI hai| unakI jindagI dilacaspa rahI hai aura hama jAnate haiM ki jaba vaha apanI bAta sunAne lagate haiM to jarUrI nahIM hai ki kalpanA se kAma na leM yA namaka mirca se paraheja kreN| hamane samajha liyA ki koI kahAnI zrA rahI hai| isase bar3hAvA diyA aura phira sudane kI rAha meM ho baiThe / prasAda ne anta meM kahA, "bahasa chor3ie / lIjie apanI bItI sunAtA huuN| aisI bahuta dinoM kI bAta nahIM hai, yahI varSa 15 hue hoMge / isI zahara meM thA, aura Apane zrImatI mizra kA nAma sunA hogA / jI, vahI / jI hA~, moTara eksIDenTa meM jinakI mRtyu huI / kahA~ vaha, kahA~ maiM ? lekina chuTapana meM maiM unheM jAnA karatA thA / itanA chuTapana bhI nahIM, zrImatI mizra vaha taba bhI 146 PETRAYER

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* prema kI bAta 147 thIM, lekina naI thIM, 17 - 18 varSa kI hogI / para jamAnA vaha aura thaa| deza meM Andolana thA aura unakA nAma thA aura vaha jagaha-jagaha samAjoM meM bolatI thIM, aura mAlAe~ pAtI thiiN| maiM taba eka vAlanTIyara thA aura merI bhI karIba vahI umra thI, lekina maiM unheM dUra se dekhatA thA, pAsa hotA taba bhI apane ko dUra lagatA thA / isase unheM dekhatA thA yA unheM sunatA thA / mu~ha na khola pAtA thA aura pAsa na jA pAtA thA / vAnTIyara bahuta the aura saba unakI AjJA meM the| para, dekhatA ki ve merI taraha cupa rahane kI jarUrata meM nahIM hai / isIlie zAyada yA kRpA zraura karuNA ke kAraNa unhoMne mujhe chA~TA aura apanI sevA meM liyA / usa sevA kI kyA bAta batAU~ ? hukma sakhta hote aura kAma betuke / cAkarI kA na samaya, na usake kAnUna / kisI taraha kA koI khata lekara kisI samaya kahIM bhejA jA sakatA thA / aura rAta dopahara bItI ho ki tIna pahara, sTova para cAya taiyAra karane ko kahA jA sakatA thaa| mere pAsa apane rupae rahate the; kahA jAtA, ki jAno cAra TikiTa sinemA ke le aao| TikaTa le AtA aura unake tIna mitroM ko nimantrita karA: zrAtA aura sinemA taka pahu~cA kara pUchatA, ki "aba jAU~ ?" to sunatA ki "nahIM, jAnA mata / bAhara hI rahanA / jAne hameM kyA jarUrata ho / " sunakara hama muskarAne ko hue ki prasAda ne ha~sa kara kahA, "maiM bevakUfa thA na ? jI, meM bhI jAnatA huuN| para, usa vakta jAnane kA maukA thA ? inTaravala para kabhI vaha bAhara A bhI jAtIM aura mujhe daur3A kara yaha vaha cIja ma~gA bhejatIM / nahIM toM maiM pUre DhAI ghaNTe unake kama kI rAha dekhatA bAhara khar3A rahatA / zrajaba dina the aura vaha mujhe kamare meM apane palaMga ke pAsa hI pharza para sone ko kahatIM ki z2arUrata para phaurana kAma A sakUM / aura meM barAbara hara jarUrata para yAnI ki kapar3e sApha ho jAte, jUte camaka jAte aura pyAle meM cAya peza ho jAtI / " kAma AtA rahA / tar3ake a~dhere kiMrca

Page #153
48 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAlavA~ bhAga] ___"yaha-saba", prasAda ne ha~sa kara kahA, "maiM deza-sevA ke bhAva se uchAha se karatA thaa| para deza kabhI lupta hotA to sAmane lIlA mizra kI mUrata rahatI aura sevA unakI ho rahI hai, isase maiM aura bhI apane ko dhanya anubhava krtaa| deza kucha hogA, para vaha mere lie sAkSAt bhArata-mAtA thiiN| umra mere-jitanI ho to kyA, thIM to mahAna / itanI ki meM unheM zikhara para dekhatA thA aura apane ko pAtAla meM pAtA thaa| ____ "para mahIne bhara se adhika sevA kA puNya mujhe nahIM mila sakA kyoMki phira pitA A gae aura mAM A gaIM aura donoM mujhe manA kara le gae aura phira maiM vahIM apane zahara meM Akara TUTI par3hAI ko jor3a kara imtahAna pAsa karane lgaa|" prasAda ne yahA~ sAMsa lI, eka lambI sA~sa, aura kahA, "phira to duniyA do ho gaIM aura z2amAnA guz2ara gyaa| par3hAI pUrI huii| byAha huA / naukarI se lgaa| phira bacce hue / jimmedAriyAM banIM, ijjata banI aura bacapana kA bItA bhUla gyaa| yA yAda AtA to tAza ke tamAze kI taraha / " __"aba Apa kyA samajhate hai ? yahI na ki bItA bIta jAtA hai ? para usa roz2a zahara ke gine-cune do-tIna netA merI baiThaka meM pAe / maiMne ahobhAgya maanaa| unhoMne kahA ki amuka adhivezana kI adhyakSatA ke lie zrImatI mizra yahA~ padhAra rahI haiN| unhoMne likhA hai ki vaha Apa ke yahA~ tthhreNgii| prabandha to saba thA aura aba bhI Apa anumati deM to, anukUlatA hamArI hI vyavasthA meM Thaharane meM hotI / lekina mai sahasA kucha bola nahIM skaa|" __Agata mahAnubhAvoM ne kahA, "sara bhaTanAgara ke yahA~ kisI prakAra kA unheM kaSTa na hogaa|" _maiMne kahA, "jI haaN| ApakI hI vyavasthA ThIka rhegii| phira maiM zAyada usa dina yahA~ rahU~gA bhI nahIM, parasoM hI to adhivezana hai|"

Page #154
prema kI bAta 146 mahAnubhAva cale gae aura maiM socatA raha gayA ki kyoM zrImatI mizra yahA~ ThahareMgI ? maiMne apane ghara ko yAda kiyA, apanI haisiyata ko yAda kiyA aura apane atIta ko yAda kiyA / isI silasile meM haThAt eka ThAkura mitra ko bhI yAda kara liyA, jinakA barasoM kA zrAgraha thA ki kabhI unake yahA~ prAU~ / yAda AyA ki rela se tIsa mIla dUra unakI jagaha hai, jahA~ U~Ta se jAnA hotA hai / yahI bahuta ThIka rahegA / nizcaya huA ki pA~ca roz2a kI chuTTI lI jAya aura ThAkura sAhaba ko kRtArtha kiyA jAya / cunAMce ThAkura sAhaba ko tAra de diyA gayA aura jugarAfie kI kitAba meM se rAstA talAza kiyaa| ghara meM kahA"dekhanA, mujhe z2arUrI sarakArI kAma se jAnA par3a rahA hai / koI pIche Ae to kaha denA gae haiM / " zrImatI ne pUchA, "kahA~ jA rahe ho ?" 1 kahA, "aba tumheM kyA batAU~, kahA~ jA rahA hU~ ? mulAjamata hai yaha yA prAfata hai / " bolI, "yaha kaise ho rahe ho ? pIche koI bAta ho jAya to batAte na jAno / kahA~ khabara karanI hogI / aura kaba taka Aoge ?" kahA, "AU~gA pA~ca dina meM aura kAma nibaTA kara socatA hU~, vaha ThAkura sAhaba haiM na, lAlagar3hI ke, kaba se kaha rahe haiM / do roz2a vahIM ho zrAU~ / " zrImatI ne suna liyA aura apane kAma meM ho rahIM aura maiM lAlagar3hI ke lie ravAnA ho gayA / zrApa kaheMge ki yaha kyA ? kyA merA ghara ThaharanA nahIM ho sakatA thA ? kyoM nahIM ho sakatA thA ? para nahIM, vahIM kisI kyoM ko avakAza na thA / so bebasa aura apane bAvajUda ghUmatA - bAmatA maiM usa sTezana zrA lagA jahA~ utaranA thA / usa samaya rAta ke dasa baje the / saradI ke dina the / candramA hAla hI nikalA thA / choTA-sA sTezana | lAlaTena lie hue Akhira eka AdamI ne mujhe khoja nikaalaa| sTezana se bAhara Akara meM vismita huA apane para aura usa jagaha para / aisI

Page #155
150 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] bhI jagaha hotI haiM, jahA~ ugane ko kucha uga na ske| bIrAna aisI kI bhayAnaka ! dekho to cAroM-ora reta / aura reta ke dUha dUra se bhUta-se dIkhate the| mAlUma huA ThAkura-sAhaba kI tarapha se ratha pAyA hai, jisameM mere lie bahuta ArAmadeha bandobasta kara diyA gayA hai / ratha-vAle ne usake bAda do-eka cilama kI aura apane ko taiyAra kiyA aura kramazaH bar3hatI huI dhaulI cA~danI meM ratha Age bddh'aa| rAta gaharAtI jAtI thI, para mujhe nIMda na thii| ratha meM par3A-par3A maiM cA~da kI tarapha dekhA kiyA, jo mere sAtha-sAtha cala rahA thaa| ratha-vAlA kahatA, "so jAo, bAbU !" aura maiM usakI nigAha ke nIce soyA sA ho jaataa| para, saradI mIThI thI aura cA~danI bhInI thI, aura A~khoM meM nIMda sahaja basatI na thii|" calate-calate, calate-calate aise kaba nIMda A gaI, patA na claa| patA taba calA jaba ratha ruka cukA thA aura ThAkura-sAhaba khuda mere svAgata ke lie gar3hI ke daravAje para maujUda the| jaise-taise svAgata ko saMkSipta karake meM koI sAr3he tIna baje apanI zaiyA para AyA aura socatAvicAratA sira Dhaka kara so gyaa| kucha dera bAda ekAeka jaganA par3A, U~ghAnIMdI meM pUchA, "kauna ?" dhImI AvAz2a AI-"so gae ?" A~kha malakara dekhA, "sirahA koI khar3A hai| para, dIkha na sakA kauna hai / kyoMki a~dherA thaa|" phira mUchA, 'kauna ?" "maiM liilaa|" merI kucha samajha na pAyA / jhaTake se bolA, "kyA hai ?" "maiM lIlA hU~, prasAda ! lIlA mishr|" vizvAsa na huA / kahA, "kauna tuma ?" aura mai ghabarAyA-sA utthaa| mere kandhe para dabAva dekara vaha bolI, "uTho nahIM, leTe rho| tumheM

Page #156
prema kI bAta 151 kaSTa dene meM nahIM aaii| para tuma samajhate ho ki usa mare dillI meM adhivezana kI adhyakSatA karane meM AI thI? phira tuma bhAga kyoM pAe ?" ____ maiMne kahA, "yaha tumhI ho lIlA ? baiTha jaao| bar3I moTI ho gaI ho ?" .... bolI, "hAM, maiM hI huuN| cAra baccoM kI mAM hoke moTI na hoU~gI ?para, eka bAta tuma se pUchane itanI dUra AI huuN| itte barasa ho gae haiM / tumane mujha se kabhI kucha nahIM cAhA / yAda bhI nahIM kiyaa| usakI saz2A to maiM pA hI rahI thii| para yaha jo tuma cale Ae ho, isase kaise na samajhU ki barAbara maiM tumhArI yAda meM thI aura kitanA tumane mere kAraNa duHkha paayaa| yaha jAnakara maiM dillI Thahara nahIM sakI aura tumase mAphI mAMgane AgaI huuN| aba jo kho-kruuN|" itanA kahakara lIlA cupa ho gii| aura prasAda bhI itanA kahakara cupa ho rahA / hamane khIjhakara kahA ki are, phira tumane use kyA karane ko / kahA ? prasAda gambhIra hokara cupa banA rhaa| thor3I dera bAda dRr3hatA se bolA, "isase kahatA hU~ ki nahIM, prema kI bAta para kisI taraha hama kucha bola nahIM skte|"

Page #157
AlocanA vIrena ne Akara kahA, "Apa calate nahIM haiM ?" maiMne kahA, "kahA~ calanA hogA ?" "kAnpharensa meM nahIM caliegA ?" yaha usane isa taraha kahA, jaise pUchatA ho, "bAz2Ara nahIM caliegA ?" vIrena acchA lar3akA hai / para apanA par3hanA use yAda hai / ema0 e0 pAsa kara gayA hai, aura thor3I-bahuta avinaya se DaratA nahIM hai / kAnpharensa bAz2Ara kI dukAna nahIM hai| isameM tamAzabIna yA grAhaka kI vRtti se jAnA ThIka jAnA nahIM hai / lekina vIrena aisA jJAnI hai ki Alocaka bane bagaira usase rahA nahIM jAtA / zrAlocanA kA kAma sarala nahIM hai| para, vaha kAma utpAdaka bhI nahIM hai / maiMne kahA, "vIrena, bhAI Aja kisa kAnpharensa meM jAnA hogA ?" vIrena bolA, "Aja acchI cIja kI kAnpharensa hai | sozalisTa kAnpharensa hai / aura vahA~ yaha bAta nahIM hai ki saba desI nAgarI bolane vAle mileM / yahA~ par3he-likhe loga bhI AyeMge, jo a~garejI meM boleMge praura sensara boleMge / " maiMne mirjaI badalalI, soTA liyA aura kahA, "acchA bhAI, calo / 152

Page #158
AlocanA 153 hama a~garejI jAnate haiM, so usakA daNDa bhI tumhAre sAtha bhugatanA hogA ki kAnpharensa meM jAyeM aura saneM / " ____ vIrena hara viSaya para kucha kathana rakhatA hai / vaha rAya apanI banAtA hai| jo samajha meM nahIM AtI, cAhe vaha bAbA kI bAta ho, cAhe guru kI, cAhe zAstra kI, vaha himmata rakhatA hai ki use asvIkAra kara de| maiMne kahA, "vIrena, tuma to saMskRta bhI jAnate ho, hindI ke lekhaka bhI ho| sozalisTa ke lie koI hindI zabda to bnaayo| anyathA sozalisTa zabda ke bhAva ke mUla taka hamase nahIM pahu~cA jaataa|" vIrena ne kahA, "samAjavAda, sAmyavAda-ye zabda to haiN| hA~, sozalijma se alabattA yaha halake haiM / aura paNDita jI, Apa to a~garez2I ke itane bar3e paNDita hokara merA maz2Aka karate haiN|" para maz2Aka kI bAta nahIM thii| a~garez2I zabda kI mUla prakRti hamAre nikaTa kucha paradesI-sI hI rahatI hai| yoM, a~garez2I bola-likha lete haiM to kyaa| hamane pUchA, "kyoM bhAI, tuma sozalisTa ho ?" vIrena kI mauja yahI hai ki vaha zraddhApUrvaka koI matAvalambI nahIM hai / usane kahA, "nahIM, sAhaba, maiM kisI ijma meM nahIM huuN| maiM ba~dha nahIM sktaa| haraeka ijma mere lie eka sAinsa hai / aura sozalijma ? hA-hA ! Apa jAnate haiM kyA ? eka bAra eka vidvAn sozalisTa mile, taba bAta karate hue maiMne kahA-tuma dhotI-baNDI ke Upara aaura ghuTe sira para eka bahuta bar3A, bahuta U~cA aura bahuta acchA haiTa pAkara jamA lo, aura kahate-kUdate phiro ki dekho, kyA bar3hiyA haiTa hai, to haiTa kA bar3hiyApana mAlUma hone se pahale logoM ko tumhArI akla kA bar3hiyApana hI mAlama hogaa| haiTa prazaMsanIya hokara bhI tuma upahAsya hoge| yaha sunakara mere pratipakSI sozalisTa mahAzaya bar3e khafA ho gye| maiMne kahA, "vIrena, tuma kisI ke prayatna ko dUkAnadArI ke alAvA

Page #159
154 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [sAtavA~ bhAga] kyA kucha aura nahIM samajha sakate ? kyA nekanIyatI kA zreya kisI ko denA tumhAre lie duSkara hai ? vyakti kA prAdara tumhAre lie kaThina hai ?" vIrena ne tapAka se kahA, "paNDita jI, ve loga purAne hoMge, jo ImAnadAra hote hoNge| aba ImAna uttara hai to saphalatA dakSiNa / yaha kAnpharenseM, yaha sozalijma, yaha kA~gresa, yaha dezabhakti-saba bAteM haiN| saba zagala, saba vyavasAya / " / vIrena jaba isa taraha kI bAteM kahatA hai, taba lagatA hai ki usane duniyA ke bhItara ke tattva ko pA liyA hai| jaise duniyA kI nasa-nasa usane dekha lI hai| hameM sATha barasa ke honepara bhI aisA avizvAsa karanA nahIM paayaa| aura vIrena kI kSamatA dekho ki bharI javAnI meM vizvAsa ko dhatA batalA sakatA hai| usase Izvara kI bAta karake dekho, vaha jhaTa batA sakegA ki kina cAlAka AdamiyoM kI cAlAkI kA pratIka yaha Izvara khar3A hai aura kaise yaha Izvara raga-raga meM mithyA hai / " * sar3aka para cala rahe the ki pAsa se eka bar3hiyA ikkA guz2ara gyaa| (yaha paTane kI bAta kahatA huuN|) ghor3e ke sira para kalagI lagI thI, gardana meM basantI dupaTTA ba~dhA thA, mAthe pai bar3A lAla TIkA / ikkA phensI thA aura jagaha-jagaha lagI huI pItala camacamA rahI thii| sarapaTa cAla se vaha nikalA aura merI A~kheM anAyAsa usakI ora utthiiN| do striyAM usa para baiThI thiiN| striyA~ unheM kahU~ ki ramaNiyA~ ! umra donoM kI bIsa ke lagabhaga hogii| raMga sAMvalA, AkRti meM buddhi-prAcurya na thA / khAdI kI kesariyA sAr3I thI aura katthaI paadd'| sira tIna-cauthAI khulA thA aura bAla ghane hokara phaile the / eka kI ora merA dhyAna vizeSa rUpa se gyaa| agale hAtha kI hathelI para apanA sArA bojha diye vaha unmana, pragalbha aisI baiThI thI ki use na duniyA kI paravA hai, na duniyA ke kahane

Page #160
. AlocanA 155 kii| duniyA hai to ho, rahe, usase usakA kucha nahIM aTakA hai / A~kheM usakI bharapUra khulI thiiN| mAthe para ekAdha bala thaa| aura jaise usa tyorI kA sambandha kisI vastu-vizeSa yA paristhiti-vizeSa se na thA, pratyuta mAno vaha brahmANDa-bhara ke lie thA, aura kisI ke lie na thA / ___ikke vAlA, jisakA sAphA bUdIdAra thA aura pahalavAnI tarIke se ba~dhA thA, paira kI ghaNTI bajAtA huA, koI tarAnA gunagunAtA, sarapaTa bekhaTaka ikke ko liye jA rahA thaa| yaha dRzya mere mana ko prItikara na huaa| vaha bhItara ko sa~kuca-sA AyA / jI meM glAni-sI huI ! yaha khaddaradhAriNI mahilAe~ haiM ? yaha deza-sevikAe~ haiM ? ye kahA~ jA rahI haiM ? ye kyA cAhatI haiM ? sabako kyA pairoM-tale dekhe-binA inheM caina nahIM hai ? kyoM ye vijaya kI cAha ke pIche aisI parezAna haiM ? vIrena ne kahA, "dekhA Apane ?" maiM cupa rahA / maiMne dekhA thA, lekina mere lie yaha vAcAla hone kI bAta na thii| vIrena bola uThA, "usane strI-zikSA para bahuta-kucha khaa| use kheda na thaa| vaha rASTra ko dhanyavAda de sakatA thA ki striyoM meM jAgaraNa huA hai; ki striyA~ puruSa ko cunautI de sakatI haiM ki vaha nirbhIka niHzaMka, hA~, nirlajja bhI hokara, apanI ahaMtA kA sikkA jamAne sAmane AI haiN|" vIrena cAhe jo kahe, merA jI bhItara-bhItara choTA ho rahA thA / striyA~ laMgara kasakara puruSa se badane maidAna meM AnA cAheM, to bezaka kyoM na Ae~ ? rokane vAlA maiM kauna ? lekina ve khama Thokakara badAbadI karane AnA cAheM, isI para mujhe kleza hotA hai / vaha paristhiti nahIM bhalI hai, aura vaha manovRtti nahIM zubha hai, jahA~ se yaha cAha banakara uThatI hai| ye lar3akiyA~ !-aura mere lie striyA~ saba lar3akiyAM haiN| umra meM bahuta azakta hU~ isalie nahIM, para kauna strI aisI hai, jo baccI nahIM hai ?

Page #161
156 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA bhAga] strI-mAtra baccI hai, apane mana se khele binA usakA jI AdhA rahatA hai| vaha sadA becArI hai, mujhe usa para anukampA hotI hai / ve lar3akiyA~ !maiM yAda karatA hU~, aura merA mana bigar3atA-sA hai / zikSA yadi vinIta na banAe, taba bhI kyA vaha milanI hI cAhie ? taba bhI kyA vaha zikSA hai ? jo ulajhana paidA kare vaha bhI zikSA hai ? jIvana sarala na bane, sulajhA na bane, vyarthatA ke prADambara kA lAlaca rahe aura bar3he, to vaha zikSA hai ? isI taraha kI bahuta-sI bAteM maiM soca gyaa| mujhe mAlUma huA, hama bar3ha nahIM rahe haiM, gira rahe haiM / aura isa taraha yaha khule-muha aura mukharabuddhi, zikSitA kahalAne vAlI hamArI lar3akiyA~ isakA pramANa haiN| para, kAnpharensa... kAnpharensa huI aura bhASaNa hue aura prastAva hue aura maiM daMga raha gyaa| vaktA loga dhArA-pravAha vaktRtA de sakate the, aura yaha bAta tanika unakI a~garez2I meM hicaka na DAla pAtI thI ki sunane vAloM meM se prAdhe se adhika loga a~garez2I nahIM samajhate / aura ve Adhe se adhika loga bhI mugdha aura vizvasta the ki bAta marma kI aura jJAna kI kahI jA rahI hai, kyoMki vaha a~garez2I meM hai / mai a~garez2I jAnatA hU~, lekina kAnpharensa meM loga bhUlakara bhI bAta nahIM karate the, bhASaraNa hI karate the aura mujhe aisA mAlUma hotA thA ki unake muha meM se pustaka zuddha aura sApha bola rahI hai, hRdaya nahIM bola rahA hai| vIrena ne kahA, "paNDitajI, sunie| bAta tArIfa kI yaha ki bAta bar3I nahIM hai, phira bhI bolA kisa bar3appana ke sAtha jA sakatA hai|" maiMne kahA, "yahAM bhIr3a bar3I hai / dama ghuTa pAyA, calo bAhara caleM, kucha jala-pAna kreNge|" aura mai bAhara A gyaa| vIrena vyAkhyAna sunatA rhaa| bAhara Akara

Page #162
AlocanA 157 maiMne khulI sA~sa lI / havA meM vaktAoM kI vANI-sA joza nahIM thA, aura yaha prItivardhaka jAna par3A / itane hI meM do kAleja ke-se lar3akoM ne mere pAsa Akara vinaya-pUrvaka praNAma kiyA / unhoMne kahA, "paNDitajI, Aie, calie andara baiThie / " maiMne kahA, "maiM abhI andara se AyA hU~, kaho, tuma loga prasanna to ho ?" itane meM eka tIsarA vyakti eka kurasI uThA lAyA, kahA, "paNDita - jI, isapara baiThie / " maiMne kahA, "bhAI, kaSTa na karo, hama ThIka haiM / " yuvakoM ne pUchA, "paNDita jI, Apa kI kyA sammati hai ? sozalijma ke binA kucha ho sakatA hai ?" hamane kahA, "bhAI, hama pahale samajhate the, Izvara ke binA kucha nahIM ho sakatA / aba yaha bAta g2alata hotI jAtI hai / jo khUba karane - dharanevAle haiM, ve Izvara-pUrvaka to kucha nahIM karate haiM / isaliye aba hama kyA kaheM ki kisa ke binA kyA nahIM ho sakatA / " yuvakoM ne batAyA, "janasaMkhyA kA picAnabe pratizata aMza kyA hai ? nirdhana, majadUra, kRSaka / manuSya jAti kA bhalA, yAnI inakA bhalA / jisameM inakA bhalA nahIM, usa meM avazya manuSya jAti kA akalyANa hai / isalie adhikAra kisa kA ho ? zAsana kisa kA ho ? sarakAra kisa kI ho ? buddhi-jIviyoM kI nahIM, dhanADhyoM kI nahIM / kAma karanevAloM ke hAtha meM paisA ho, unhIM ke hAtha meM z2amIna, unhIM ke hAtha meM kAnUna banAnA unhIM ke hAtha meM qAnUna pAlana karanA, -- yaha sozalijma cAhatA hai / koI bhI nekanIyata zrAdamI yaha cAhane se kaise baca sakatA hai, kyoM paNDita jo ?" hamane kahA, "ThIka hai, beTA / hama yahA~ jarA havA ke lie A gaye haiM / hameM kisI bAta kI AvazyakatA nahIM hai / tuma loga hamAre pIche vyAkhyAna sunane meM kSati DAlanA Avazyaka na samajhanA / "

Page #163
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA bhAga] * unhoMne kahA, "nahIM-nahIM, pnndditjii|" aura ve phira mujhase cAhane lage ki maiM kahU~ sozalijma mithyA hai; nahIM to mAnU sozalijma mokSa hai| __ maiMne kahA, "dekho bhAiyo, bahuta se 'ijma' haiM / yA to manuSya ijmoM ke Upara hai, yA nIce hai| nIce hai, to vaha gulAma hai| aura gulAmI se AdamI ko chUTanA cAhie / Upara hai to yaha artha ki ijma eka vAda hai, apekSA-kathana hai, aura manuSya ko usa apekSA ko na bhUlanA cAhie, jo usa vAda meM pratiphalita hai|" unhoMne jida kI ki majhe prazna se bacanA nahIM cAhie, aura mujhe batAnA hogA ki maiM sozalisTa hU~ yA nahIM huuN| meMne kahA ki maiM AdamI apane DhaMga kA rahanA cAhatA huuN| isalie sozalisTa bhI apane hI DhaMga kA houuNgaa| kitAba meM jo DhaMga niyukta hai, usa sA~ce kA sozalisTa zAyada maiM na houuN| . ve javAna loga mujha se ekadama ulajhanA cAhate haiN| aura dalIla meM mujha meM kaTTaratA nahIM hai isase, mujhe jIta kA bharosA nahIM rhtaa| maiM isalie dalIla se bacatA huuN| maiMne idhara-udhara dekhA ki kahIM kucha khAnepIne kA sAdhana hai yA nhiiN| isa taraha mujhe ukhar3A huA-sA dekha javAna loga mujhe dhIre-dhIre akelA chor3a gye| ____ tabhI maiMne dekhA kAnpharensa ke hAla kI bAIM tarapha se vahI do lar3akiyA~ calI jA rahI haiN| cAla anamanI hai, aura cehare para vahI upekSA kA bhAva hai| mAnoM ve kisI nirjana sthAna meM ghUma rahI haiN| Asa-pAsa tarahataraha ke AdamI haiM, taraha-taraha ke raMga haiM-mAnoM isase unheM kucha vAstA na thA, isakA kucha bodha na thaa| ___ mere mana meM vahI vitRSNA phailane lgii| phokApana-sA chA AyA aura vaise hI aprItikara vicAra uThane lge| pairoM meM unake cappala thI, sira ughar3A-sA thA, dhotI sAdI aura bhArI thI, maha para udAsI aura a~dherA / aura sArI AkRti aura cAla meM

Page #164
AlocanA kucha aisA phakkar3apana aura alhar3apana thA ki mujhe bilakula nahIM bhA rahA thaa| jaise unakI ruci yogya na maiM hU~, na koI aura hai| jaise unhoMne abhI se saba dekhA aura saba heya hai| jaise ve svayaM strI haiM, yaha vizva para kRpA hai| aura ve isa kRpA kA dAna bhI kara sakatI haiM, para jagat meM pAtratA nahIM hai| para dekho, kisI se unakA lagAva nahIM, kisI se vAstA nahIM, kisI kI tarafa z2immedArI nahIM, koI karttavya nahIM ! jaise chUTI...., jaMgalI gAyeM hoN| ___ maiMne cAhA, maiM unakI ora se muha phera lU / unako dekha kara jI kA caina ur3atA thaa| maiMne dekhA, dUsarI tarapha khomace vAloM kI dukAneM haiN| unake phaile mAla kI tarapha dekhanA acchA lagatA hai| vahA~ kucha hai, jo susvAdu hai, aura mAnoM hamArA svAgata karatA hai| lekina merA mana, haThakara, udhara-hI-udhara jAtA thA / haThAt maiMne mur3a kara dekhA-ve niruddezya, nirvyAja, nizzaMka, nirlajja usI bhA~ti ghUma rahI thiiN| ve kucha dUra pAtI thIM, phira lauTa jAtI thIM, phira pAtI thIM, phira lauTa jAtI thiiN| ...kyA ye yoM hI haiM ? kyA inheM kucha kAma nahIM hai ? kyA inheM ghara prApta nahIM hai, ki kucha jhAr3a-buhArI kareM, caukA-bAsana kareM? kyA inheM koI aura prApta nahIM hai jisakI sevA-Tahala kareM, paricaryA kareM ? kyA sevA-karma inheM durlabha hai ? kyA roTI se ye bephikra haiM ? isa prakAra dekhanA aura ghUmanA-kyA yahI inheM zeSa hai ?...are, ye kyoM nahIM apane ghara meM haiM ? kyoM isa taraha yaha niSprayojana banI haiM ?... . ___tabhI sthAnIya pablika-kAleja ke eka prophesara bar3hate hue aaye| unhoMne kahA, "vAha paNDita jI ! Apa bhI padhAre haiM ? Aie, Aie, andara baitthie|" hamane kahA, "hama bAhara hI ThIka haiN|" aura bAtacIta hone lgii| prasaMga-prasaMga meM unhoMne pUchA, "aApane tAjI khabara sunI hai ?" hamane batAyA, "hamane nahIM sunii| koI bhI khabara jaba taka tAjI

Page #165
160 . jainendra kI kahAniyAM [saptavA bhAga] rahatI hai, hamAre pAsa taka AnA kabhI gavArA nahIM krtii| hama to isa duniyA meM kaI dina leTa hokara jiyA karate haiN|" prophesara ne batAyA, "dharaNI ko prAja savere phA~sI laga gii| hindustAna ke jI kI coTa kI kise phikara hai ? saba koziza, saba pradarzana, saba aradAsa vyartha huii|" ____ maiM sunakara sanna raha gayA / yaha nahIM ki hamAre prAnta kA hara vyakti mahInoM se dharaNI kI phA~sI kI khabara sunane ke lie taiyAra na raha rahA thaa| phira bhI jaba vaha ekadama ghaTita ghaTano bana kara AI, taba usakI bhISaNatA behada coTa dekara lgii| dharaNI mujha se par3ha cukA aura acchA chAtra thaa| bAta-bAta meM phira prophesara ne batAyA, "dekhie, ve do striyAM dIkhatI ha na, jAnate haiM, kauna haiM ? idhara vAlI usakI patnI hai, dUsarI usakI bahina / duniyA meM aba unakA kauna rahA hai !" mere mana para jaise vajra par3A |dhrnnii kI patnI aura bahina ! ...aura, maiM kaha diyA karatA hU~, vIrena Alocaka hai !

Page #166
kyA ho ? jaba dinakara ko phAMsI kI sajA sunAI gaI, taba usane jaja kI ora muskarA kara kahA, "theMka yU / " lekina zAma ko apanI akelI koTharI meM socane lagA ki isameM ha~sakara 'thaiMka yU' kahane kI bAta nahIM hai / koI yadi yaha nirNaya de detA hai ki kucha dinoM ke bAda mujhe jInA nahIM hogA, taba kyA usa nirNAyaka kA usa nirNaya ke lie kRtajJa honA cAhie ?... kyA mujhameM kRtajJatA hai ? kyA mujhameM khuzI hai ? taba maiMne kyoM yaha jhUThA zrAcaraNa kiyA ki maiMne jaja ko dhanyavAda diyA ? dhanyavAda mujha meM na thA / ... lekina kyA yaha hai ki roU~ nahIM, isalie maiM ha~sA? maiM samajhatA hU~, yaha bhI ThIka bAta nahIM hai / rone kI bhI koI jarUrata isa samaya mere bhItara nahIM hai / yaha ThIka hai ki nirNaya meM mAtra itanA hI nahIM hai ki amuka tithi taka maiM jIU~ / jIvana usa tithi taka cuka jAya, aura phira mauta sarakatI huI A jAya, vyavasthA itanI hI nahIM hai / vyavasthA yaha bhI hai ki maiM mArA jAU~, gale meM phandA aTakAkara merI jAna mujha meM se khIMca kara tor3a lI jAya / yaha bAta agara maiM kahatA hU~ sukha kI hai, to jhUTha kahatA hU~ / yaha sukha kI bAta ho sakatI thI ki amuka kSaNa ke bAda maiM pAU~ -- maiM nahIM jI rahA huuN| lekina jIte-jI mAra diyA jAU~, ( aura phA~sI aura kyA hai ? aura hatyA bhI aura kyA hai ? ) yaha sukhakara bAta nahIM hai / isako to sAmane 161

Page #167
162 . jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] dekhakara vitRSNA hI hotI hai / yA hA~, unmatta, andhA AkarSaNa ho sakatA hai| kintu mujhe AkarSaNa nahIM hai| mujhe vaha samUcI vastu kucha mailI mAlUma hotI hai, apAvana, azuci, asundara / maiM usa ora dekhanA nahIM cAhatA huuN|...to kyA jI phira rone ko AtA hai ? nahIM, mere bhItara abhI taka isa phA~sI kI bAta ko lekara tanika bhI ronA nahIM pA sakA hai| maiMne kucha kiyaa| maiM jAnatA hU~, maiMne vaha kiyaa| vaha karate samaya bhI maiM jAnatA thA ki usake anta meM yahI cIja ho sakatI hai, phA~sI !, jisa ko maiM aba bhI ThIka nahIM jAnatA ki kyA hai / isa phA~sI ke pariNAma ke vyApaka bhAva ke itane bhAga ko maiM jAnatA thA ki jina se maiM bolatA hU~, milatA hU~, jina se prema letA aura jina ko prema detA hU~, jinake bhItara apane ko phailA kara aura jinheM apane bhItara dhAraNa karake merA jIvana sambhava banA calatA hai; ve saba mere lie na raheMge, maiM unake lie na rhuuNgaa|...maiN unake lie na rahU~gA ! taba kyA koI hogA jisake lie rahU~gA? nahIM-nahIM, bilakula tirohita, azeSa, asat ho jaauuNgaa| vizva ke cetanA-piNDa meM koI mere vyaktitva ke astitva kA bhAsa yA vidhAtA ke bahIkhAte meM koI hisAba zeSa rahe bhI, to usa zeSa rahane ko kisa taraha kI ginatI meM rakkhA jA sakatA hai ? isa sarvatobhAvena tirobhAva hone kI sambhAvanA ko maiMne taba bhI sAmane rakkhA / aba bhI sAmane vahI hai| isalie ghabarAhaTa mujha meM bhItara se koI nahIM hotii|....maatr itanA hI hai ki phA~sI strIliMga pAkara bhI susvarUpA nahIM hai / prAkAra-prakAra meM asundara vastu hai| isase usa ora dekhanA kucha prIti-vardhaka nahIM hotaa| kintu aba taka, jIvana ke isa nizcita chora para prA lagane taka, maiMne apane hI ko mAnA hai| jo samajhA hai, kiyA hai| usake karane se bhI nahIM bacA hU~, usake pariNAma se bhI nahIM bacA huuN| mujhe apane meM kheda nahIM hai; para aba Akara mujhe yaha bodha ho rahA hai ki kyA maiM bilakula apanA hI thA ? jinhoMne mere sAtha AzAe~ aura pratyAzAe~ bAMdhI, bhaviSya bAMdhA, prema bAMdhA, apanA jIvana hI bA~dha liyA; jo merI osa ko lekara jIte

Page #168
'kyA ho ? 163 the aura jinakI AkAMkSAe~ merI ora hI A~kha bichAe baiThI rahatI thIM, unakA bhI to mujha meM kucha thaa| una logoM ko maiMne apanA kyA diyA ? jise haka samajhA, Adarza samajhA, usI kA saba-kA-saba kyA maiM na ho rahA ? kintu ina logoM ko kyA merA koI bhAga prApya nahIM thA ? yadi maiMne apane ko unake prati visarjita nahIM kiyA aura jIvana ke dhAge ko bIca se hI kATa kara jhaTa usake parale kinAre pAna baiThA, to kyA maiMne apanA karma pUrA kiyA ? kyA ucita kiyA ? __mAnA, deza hai / mAnA, Adarza hai / mAnA, bhArata-mAtA bhI hai / aura mAna liyA, gulAmI kI ber3iyoM ko tor3anA bhI kucha hai| lekina apanI sagI mA~ apanI kyA kucha nahIM hai ? bApa kucha nahIM hai ? bhAI kucha nahIM hai ? aura vaha vecArI abodhA kaccI hariyAlI-sI patnI kucha nahIM hai ? maiMne kahA aura maiM kahatA hU~, mujhe kheda nahIM hai / pachatAveM jo pchtaaveN| meM akampa huuN| lauTanA meM nahIM caahtaa| lauTane-jaisI cIja sAtha lekara meM nahIM cltaa| phAMsI AtI hai to AtI rhe| mujhe usa tarapha se bephikarI hai| mujhe kSaNa ke lie bhI mAMganA nahIM hai ki-'parI tU Thahara / mujhe itanA yaha aura kara lene de|' mere mana meM tanika bhI jijnyaas| nahIM hai ki 'parI kyoM, tU lauTa nahIM sakatI ?' maiM apane bhAgya se koI savAla-javAba nahIM karanA caahtaa| maiM cunautI dekara calatA huuN| maiM kahatA hU~, maiM yaha huuN| aba bhaviSya apanA jAne ki use kyA honA hai| bhaviSya kA jo bhI vidhAtA ho, mujhe usake samakSa koI prArthanA nahIM hai| maiM basa apane vartamAna kA vidhAtA huA calatA huuN| Age se mujhe matalaba nahIM hai| Age phA~sI hai ki svarga, jAnane kA merA koI sarokAra nahIM hai| isalie maiM kahatA hU~ ki phA~sI kI koTharI meM haiM, isameM koI galata bAta maiM nahIM pAtA / maiM itanA jAnatA hU~ ki, jo samajhatA hU~, karatA huuN| jo puraskAra prAtA hai, vaha A jAya / jo daNDa AtA hai, vaha pA jAya / mujhe yaha bhI jAnane se kyA vAstA ki yaha daNDa hai athavA puraskAra ? ki vidhanA ruSTa hai ki tuSTa ?

Page #169
164 janendra kI kahAniyAM sAtavA bhAga] lekina, bAta lauTane kI nahIM hai / jaba ki kahatA hU~ ki patnI ke, mAtA ke, pitA ke, bhAI ke prati maiMne apanA dAna nahIM kiyA, to abhiprAya yaha hai ki maiM kisI ke lie khapA nahIM, visarjita nahIM huaa| maiMne apane ko bcaayaa| yA ho sakatA hai, maiMne apane ko vArA nahIM, khoyA / rASTra para maiMne apane ko de DAlA; para rASTra kyA hai ? Adarza para maiMne apane ko vArA hai; para vaha Adarza kyA hai ? vaha rASTra aura vaha Adarza kyA itanI tuccha vastue~ haiM ki patnI ko usase bAhara ThaharanA hogA ? mAtA, pitA, bhAI-ye saba usakI paridhi se bAhara raheMge ? kyA usa kI paridhi itanI saMkarI hai ? Thaharo, ina bAtoM se kacha nahIM uThanA hai / lauTanA vyartha hai, duSkara hai. mujhe amAnya hai / taba jo maiMne nahIM kiyA, vaha kyoM socatA hU~ ? bahuta kucha hai, jo maiM karatA, para nahIM kiyaa| mana meM aramAna kyA isalie haiM ki ve pUre hoM ? kalpanA kyA isalie hai ki vaha saba siddha ho ? hama AsamAna isalie nahIM dekhate ki AsamAna hama bana hI jAe~ge; lekina AdamI kI hasarata-aramAna, uccAkAMkSAe~ isalie bhI nahIM haiM ki ve AdamI ko paMgu banAyeM, pasta bnaayeN| ve pUrI nahIM hoMgI, ThIka; para adhUrI rahane ke mAne yaha nahIM ki ve hameM avizvAsI pAyeM, viphalatA aura akRta-kAryatA ke bojha se dabe paayeN| ...patnI kI avasthA bIsa varSa kI hai| pandraha varSa kI thI, jaba meM amarIkA gyaa| aThAraha varSa kI thI, jaba lauttaa| mujhe dekhane na pAI thI aura pratIkSA meM thI, ki kaba maiM usakI banAI cAya pIne bhItara pahu~catA hU~ ki pakar3A gyaa| aba vaha bIsa varSa kI hai aura ikkIsa varSa kI na ho pAyagI ki maiM phA~sI pAkara samApta ho cukU gA !... vaha kauna hai ? merI patnI hai / patnI kyA ? patnI vaha, jisake sAtha vivAha huprA ho| vivAha ! yaha vivAha adbhuta tattva hai| manuSya ne usase bar3hakara aura kyA racA hai ? eka anajAna kanyA dUsare bilakula.

Page #170
kyA ho ? 1.65 anajAna kumAra ke sAtha kucha hI kSaNoM meM, jisa mahA-pradbhuta mantra ke uccAra dvArA Apasa meM aise ho jAte haiM ki ve kisI bhI ora se do zeSa na raheM, prabhinna jIvana ho jAyeM, usako vivAha kahate haiM / usa vivAha ke artha haiM - mareMge, to donoM mareMgeM; jiyeMge, to donoM jiyeMge; sukha-duHkha, jIvana-maraNa, hAni-lAbha, yaza-apayaza, saba meM donoM eka-se sahabhAgI hoMge / ... vivAha huA aura vaha kaThinAI se pandraha varSa kI kanyA mujha meM * milA dI gaI / ... aba meM phA~sI kI koTharI meM hU~, vaha ghara meM hai / ... manuSya ne vivAha sirajA / mAnA, manuSya aura manuSya ke bIca ke sambandha kI dRSTi se vivAha se sundaratara yuga-yuga meM manuSya ne dUsarI kRti nahIM prastuta kI; kintu vivAha kA rakSaNa jahA~ na ho sake, vahA~ ? jo na kara sake, usake lie ? usa sthala para aura vyakti ke lie bhI kyA vivAha TikegA ? kyA aise samaya arakSita ko rakSA aura vaJcita ko haka pAne kA koI yatna nahIM ho sakegA ? maiM maratA hU~; kintu kyA usa prabodhA, kizorikA kA patnItva niSThura patitva kI pratIkSA karate hue cirakAla taka, astakAla taka, parakAla taka baiThA rahegA ? maiM apane kAmoM ke lie marA, yaha mere kAma kA puraskAra hai, yA cAhe usakA daNDa hai / kintu, jisako apane jIvana ke sAtha to A milane diyA; lekina jo merI una puraskaraNIya athavA usate karatUtoM ke lie tanika uttaradAtA nahIM hai, vaha becArI bhI kyA usa zrA~ca se jhulase ? maiM eka zabda meM mAna lU ki vivAha kI rakSA mujha se nahIM huI / vivAha ke nema kA nibhAva maiMne nahIM kiyaa| maiM apane ko usase tur3Akara aba yahA~ mRtyu ke taTa para phA~sI ke mallAhoM kI pratIkSA karatA baiThA hU~ / taba kyA vaha vivAha usa navInA ko vaMcitA, usa pheroM kI gunAhagAra ko arakSaNIyA banA rakhane ke lie hI TikA rahegA ? lekina vivAha bhI kyA cIz2a hai ? vivAha ne mujhe pati banA diyA /

Page #171
166 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga ] kyA pati kA yaha artha thA ki maiM patnI ke prati eka dina ke lie bhI prApya na banU~ aura bahuta jaldI apanI mauta ko khoja lekara usa navoDhA ke lie ciraprApya aura cira- zodhya bana jAU~ ? kintu vivAha hI to hai ki patnI ke lie sadA meM hI ArAdhya rahU~gA / aura jaba sadeha 'mujha' ko sevA ke lie vaha nahIM pA sakegI, taba vigata - deha rUpa meM hI use apanI pUjA mujhe bhejatI rahanI hogI / jisane mana kI bhakti aura sneha ko isa prakAra ekaniSThA ke sAtha amuka eka dhyeya kI ora unmukha bana umar3ate rahane aura bharate rahane kA upAya prastuta kara diyA, vaha manuSya kI anupama kRti haiM -- vivAha | aba yahA~ isa pAra Akara meM usa saMsthA kA mahattva dekhatA hU~ / vaha saMsthA cAhe samAja kI vyAvahArika AvazyakatA meM se hI nikalI ho; para vaha vardhiSNu bhAva se manuSya kI paronmukha vRttiyoM ko apane meM dhAraNa karatI rahI hai / ... kintu vivAha saMsthA kA pariNAma atyAcAra kyoM ho ? kulavanta paccIsa varSa kA to hogaa| vaha suSamA kI tarafa se kinArA karatA bhI nahIM dIkhatA / isa ora vaha zranugrahArthI bhI ho, to mujhe vismaya na hogA / Akhira to javAna hai| use koI Apatti nahIM honI cAhie | UparI sa~koca ? -- so maiM samajhA-bujhA dU~gA / lekina suSamA ko rAha kaise lAnA hogA ? vaha kyA merI bAta bhI sunegI ! sune bhI, to kyA tanika bhI apane mana para use Thaharane degI ? nahIM-nahIM, vaha nahIM maanegii| vaha zikSitA nahIM hai / becArI satiyoM kI kahAniyoM ko pakar3e baiThI hai / vaha kisa taraha mAna sakegI ? para maiM phA~sI ke prati kitanA hI nissaGga hU~, merI samApti kA artha sadAke lie suSamA kA suhAga pucha jAnA yadi hogA, to usa mauta meM mujhe kalaka rahegI hI / ... nahIM, vaha nahIM vidhavA hogI / meM marU~gA; kintu maiM use vidhavA nahIM hone dU~gA / ...

Page #172
kyA ho ? 167 agale roja jaba mAtA-pitA aura usake bhAI usase milane pAe, taba lambA ghUghaTa kAr3he hue, simaTI-simaTAI usakI patnI bhI aaii| saba loga bAteM karane lage aura suSamA ghUghaTa meM banda, pIche, eka ora cupacApa baiThI rhii| aise samaya jaba ki bidA antima hotI hai, taba kahane ko pAsa koI bAta nahIM mAlUma hotii| jIvana ke saba vyApAra mAno usa mahA ghaTanA ke sAmane prati tuccha ho par3ate haiN| vahI bAta yahA~ thii| sabake mana usa samaya aise pakakara bhare hue the ki muha kisI kA khulatA hI na thaa| usa nIravatA ke trAsa ko tor3ate hue anta meM dinakara ne hI apanI pora se bar3hakara pUchA, "hiriyA, aba kaisI hai, bAbUjI ?...aura kyoM kulavanta, kaise ho ?" pitA ne kahA, "usane paMkhA diyA hai|" aura kulavanta ne kucha guna-guna kiyaa| bAta phira khatama hotI-sI mAlUma huI / saba ke mana meM itanA kucha thA ki kisa ora se usameM se kisa tAra ko cher3akara mana ke vyathA-piNDa ko chilane deM, yaha kisI ko sUjha na par3atA thaa| ___ itane meM dinakara kI mAM ne suSamA ke pAsa jAkara bharrAe kaNTha se kahA, "beTI, aba bola to le / aba kAhe kI lAja !" suSamA vahIM jamI raha gaI / kucha bhI bolane-batalAne pati ke pAsa na jA skii| usa samaya sabake kaNTha bhara pAe aura saba sayatna hue ki uThate hue . A~sU ve bhItara hI pI jAya, kahIM ve Dharake nhiiN| usa samaya pitA mukha Upara uThAkara niruddezya bhAva se bole, "pohA 'tIna baja gae !" aura rUmAla nikAlakara be-mAlUma taura para AMkha aura nAka kA pAnI unhoMne poMcha liyA aura Upara kI hI ora zUnya mudrA meM tAkate raha ge|

Page #173
- 168 janendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavAM bhAga] - tabhI khule taura para kA~pate kaNTha se mA~ ne suSamA kA hAtha pakar3akara uThAte hue kahA, "veTA, lAja zarama aba ke ghar3I kI hai / terA bhAgya aba phUTA hI rakhA hai| AkhirI ghar3I mila-bola to le|" phira bhI jaba suSamA bilakula nahIM uTha sakI, to mA~ ne bA~ha pakar3akara use uThAyA aura dinakara ke pAsa lA bitthaayaa| suSamA vahA~ pAkara simaTatI huI hI baiTha gii| - mA~ ne dinakara se kahA, "beTA, isa nanhI ko to smjhaa| yaha to ghara meM bhI kisI se nahIM bolatI hai|" dinakara lauTanA aba bhI nahIM cAhatA hai / vaha karrA hI banA hai| para mana jAne usakA kaisA kaisA hone lgaa| usane ha~sakara kahA, "pagalI hai|" mA~ ne kahA, "beTA, isa para to tujhe tarasa karanA thaa|" yaha sunakara pitA behada avaza, kAtara ho pdd'e| bole, 'kucha bAta nahIM," "kucha bAta nahIM," aura avaguNThanAvRta suSamA ke sira para apane bar3e caur3e dAyeM hAtha ko lA rkhaa| use sira para pherate hue kahA, "beTA, hamArA bIrana bahAdura hai, cora-DAkU nahIM hai / dekho, kitane-kitane usakI jaya bolate haiM / vaha svarga ko jA rahA hai / aise lAla kyA sabake hote haiM ? dhIraja rakha, mere beTe, mere bttue...|" yaha kahate-kahate pitA ke AMsU tAratAra jharane lge| usa samaya kisI ke bhI A~sU roke na ruke| para, avaguNThana ke bhItara kI una aA~khoM meM kyA huA, yaha kisI ko patA na cala skaa| - thor3I dera meM dinakara ne pitAjI ko alaga le jAkara kahA, "pitAjI, merI eka sAdha hai / phAMsI ke dina se pahale-pahale suSamA aura kulavanta kA vivAha kara diijie|". . pitA ne kahA, "kyA kahate ho beTA ? suSamA ko tuma nahIM jaante|" dinakara ne kahA, "pitAjI, mujhe kucha bhI aura icchA nahIM hai| yaha nahIM kareMge, to merI gati nahIM hogii|"

Page #174
kyA ho ? 16e pitA ne kahA, "suSamA ko tuma samajhA do beTA, to hameM to khuzI hI hogI / " thor3I dera meM mAtA-pitA Adi ko kucha kAma nikala prAyA aura ekAnta pAkara dinakara ne patnI se kahA, "suSamA merI eka bAta suna sakatI ho ?" ... z2arUra suna legI / sunAno, vaha cupa hai 1 22 '... maiMne tumheM duHkha hI duHkha diyA / .. vaha cupa hai / "maiM kaise kahU~, tuma merI bAta mAno; lekina marate kI eka bAta yoM bhI mAna lete haiM / maiM ba mauta se kitanI dUra hU~ ? " I suSamA cupa hI hai / "maiM suSamA, yaha jAnatA huA maranA cAhatA hU~ "" dinakara, aisI bAta dhImI cAla se nahIM, jhaTapaTa kaha DAlo ki eka hI ghUMTa meM vaha gaTaka lI jAya / kaisI kar3avI bAta kaha rahe ho, so Tako nahIM; kyoMki suSamA cupa hai aura usake bhItara mana bhI hai / "yaha jAnatA huA maranA cAhatA hU~ ki maiM akelA mara rahA huuNakelaa|" are, kahe jAno na, kahe jAmro / suSamA cupa hai / 'akelA / yaha pakkA jJAna lekara maranA cAhatA hU~ ki mere marane se tuma vidhavA nahIM banogI / ... 12 cupa / " kulavanta ko tuma jAnatI ho..." taba suSamA ne ghU MghaTa ke bhItara se hI AhistA se kahA, "mujhe tuma eka z2ahara kI pur3iyA de jAo, basa / " dinakara ekadama bhUlA-sA ho gayA / usane sunA

Page #175
170 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [ sAtavA~ bhAga ] r "basa, mujhe aura kucha na caahie| maiMne tumase kyA mAMgA hai ? aba mA~gatI huuN|" dinakara ke bhItara se piNDAkAra eka ghanI vyathA taka bhara AI - "mujhe phA~sI laganI hai suSamA / zrAja, a~gulI dina ginA dU~ / aise samaya mujha se tuma yahI merI suSamA ?" uThI- vaha gale - cAho to kala kaha sakatI ho, dinakara kI vANI se suSamA bhItara-hI-bhItara kAMpa gaI - "mere rAjA, tumhAre hAtha jor3atI hU~ | para, rAjA mere, tuma mujhe kaisI samajhate ho ?" dinakara ko isa para eka kSaraNa uttara nahIM sUjhA / rukakara usane kahA, "kaisI samajhatA hU~ ? kaisI samajhatA hU~ ? aisI samajhatA hU~ ki z2ahara kA pyAlA dU~gA, usako bhI mujhe dekhate-dekhate khuzI se tuma pIoogI / " suSamA ne kahA, "yahI tuma kahate ho ?" dinakara cupa / "yahI tuma kahate ho ?" cupa / "mere pyAre, kaho, tuma mere rAjA ho / aura eka bAra phira kaho, yahI tuma kahate ho ?" " dinakara apane meM choTe-meM-choTA hotA gayA aura mAno suSamA ke svara ne kisI zrora usake lie mArga nahIM chodd'aa| usane kahA, "suSamA, meM pati hU~ na, taba yahI kahatA hU~ / " dhanya, suSamA ne dinakara ke caraNa chue / ghU~ghaTa haTa gayA, bolI, "bhagavAn Upara saba dekhatA hai / para mere lie to tuma ho / bhagavAn mere lie aura kauna hai, zAstara zraura kauna-sA hai ? tumhIM to saba kucha ho / mere pAsa aura koI dharma-karma nahIM hai, mere mAlika !"

Page #176
kyA ho ? 171 aura ghUghaTa haTAkara usane acchI taraha jAna liyA ki inake jItejI kulavanta se vaha vivAha kara legii| hA~, jiite-jii| are, jahara ke pyAle se bhI vaha aba maha kisa bhA~ti mor3egI ? ha~sakara pI DAlegI hI nahIM, svAda se jindagI bhara ghaTa-ghaTa pItI rhegii|

Page #177
cAlIsa rupaye cAlIsa rupaye Aye aura gye| phira Aye aura phira gye| isa cakkara meM unase eka kahAnI bana gii| usI kA vRttAnta sunAtA hU~ / Apa vAgIza ko jAnate na hoM, para nAma sunA hogA / AdamI vaha kucha yoM hI hai| khaira, vaha apane kAnapura se ilAhAbAda jA rahA thA / utarA aura tA~ge para pahu~cA to dekhatA hai ki eka aurata usake pIche khar3I hai / gir3agir3A rahI hai aura vaha kucha cAhatI hai / goda meM baccA hai / mailI-sI dhotI pahine hai, jisako sira para khIMca kara AdhA ghU ghaTa-sA kara liyA hai / Sarita (yaha usakA kitAbI nAma hai) ko isa taraha kI bAteM acchI nahIM lagatIM / use chInanA acchA laga sakatA hai, mA~ganA burA lagatA hai / eka bAra kurate kI nIce kI jeba meM rUmAla par3A thA, jisameM kucha paise the| kisI ne use aisA sApha khIMca kara nikAla liyA ki kyA bAta ! yaha vAgIza ko acchA lgaa| usakI tabiyata huI ki vaha hunaramanda mile to kucha usako inAma diyA jAya / Akhira yaha bhI hAtha kI safAI hai / eka bAra aisI sAfa jeba kaTI ki kyA kahanA ! usake bAda bleDa lekara usane apane koTa para khuda hAtha AjamAyA ki vaha safAI use bhI nasIba ho / jeba kisI kI kATanI nahIM hai, yaha dUsarI bAta hai / para hAtha kI 172

Page #178
cAlIsa rupaye 173 saphAI to apanI cAhie ! isalie janAba ne koTa ko jagaha-jagaha se naztara dekara cAka-cAka kara diyA / para Akhira taka unheM tasallI nahIM huI ki kalAvanta kI khUbI kA sauvAM hissA bhI unako tarAza meM A sakI hai / taba socA thA, koI ustAda girahakaTa mile to usase hastalAghava siikheNge| lekina yaha kyA ki gir3agir3A kara mAMgA jA rahA hai| unhoMne cehare ko sakhta kiyA, kahA, "kyA hai ? haTo, htto|" para strI haTI nahIM, balki aura pIche laga gii| tA~ge meM baiThate-baiThate vAgIza ne jhallAkara kahA, "kyA hai ? paisA pAsa nahIM hai / calo rAstA dekho|" tA~ge meM baiThakara Adhe ghaghaTa meM se usakA ceharA dikhAI diyA / ThoDI meM godanA gudA thA / umra hogI paccIsa varSa / badasUrata na thI, khUbasUrata to thI hI nhiiN| neka-calana na hogii| aura goda ke cipaTe bacce ke sira para khAja ke dAga the, hAthoM para khroNc| vAgIza ne DapaTa kara kahA, "calo haTo, jaao|" tA~ge vAle ne kahA, "calU bAbUjI ?" .' strI ne hAtha phailAyA, bolI, "tumhArI aulAda jiye bAbU / dhana daulata mile / baccA bhUkhA hai / usakA bApa nahIM hai....!" "to mA~gatI kyoM hai ? kAma kara ! yaha tA~gA kyoM pakar3a rakhA hai ? chor3a htt|" "kyA kAma bAbU ? tumhAre aulAda-puttara jIyeM !" "kAma karo-kAma / harAma kA nahIM khAte haiN|" isa harAma aura kAma ke siddhAnta ko vaha khuda nahIM samajha pAtA thaa| isase jUte ke andara ba~dhe usake paira strI ne pakar3e to saMkaTa meM unheM pIche khIMcate hue vaha ghabarA kara bolA, "he, yaha kyA karatI ho ? bolo, kAma karane ko taiyAra ho ?"

Page #179
174 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] strI ne kahA, "hA~, bAbU / " usa samaya vAgIza jaise apane se hI ghira gyaa| kaha par3A, "to calo mere sAtha, tumheM kAma milegaa|" / do roz2a ke lie ilAhAbAda paayaa| mitra ne pUchA ki yaha kyA naye kisma kA sAmAna apane sAtha le Aye ho, to vAgIza koI ThIka samAdhAnakAraka javAba na de sakA / kahA, "usase cakkI pisavAno jii| saba kAmacora hote haiM ! cakkI sAmane dekha kara apanA rAstA legii|" mitra ko lagA to vicitra, para vAgIza hI vicitra thaa| mitra ne kahA, "vAgIza ! tuma ho ajaba ki apane pIche balA mola lete phirate ho|" vAgIza ne kahA ki mola kahA~ letA huuN| mola meM kucha dene ko ho to bhI kyA phira balA hI lU? para binA mola jo sara par3e, usakA kyA ho ? dekho mAM aura bacce ke lie eka dhotI kamIja ThIka-sI nikalavA do aura unake kapar3e prAga ke havAle karane ko kaha do| ___ khaira, isa taraha pahalA dina biitaa| naye kapar3oM meM vaha strI bhI naI ho AI aura kAma se usane jI nahIM curaayaa| pATha sera gehU~ usane pIsA, jisakI majadUrI vAgIza ne do Ane dii| kucha usane carkhA kAtA, koThI meM jhAr3a dI aura thor3A-sA baccoM kA kAma bhI smbhaalaa| __vAgIza ko isa para gussA huA / samajhatA thA ki eka bAra AvArA huA usase kAma phira honA-jAnA kyA hai ? isalie jhaka mAra kara yaha Apa hI bhAga jAyagI / calo, jhaMjhaTa chuuttegaa| isakA use vizvAsa thaa| vaha vizvAsa ThIka nahIM utarA, to vaha mana-hI-mana usa aurata se nArAz2a hunaa| ___ agale sabere barAmade ke bAhara ArAma kursI para baiThA thaa| hAtha meM akhabAra thA, yadyapi par3ha nahIM rahA thA / mana usa vakta khAlI thA / kala

Page #180
, cAlIsa rupaye .. 175 kI bAta kA use khayAla AtA thA ki kAma karanA caahie| harAma kA nahIM khAnA caahie| kala se Aja taka jo usane kiyA vaha kAma hai ki harAma hai, yaha ThIka taraha usakI samajha meM nahIM A rahA thaa| kala usane zAma ko moTara meM jAkara kursI para baiTha kara Der3ha ghaNTe taka eka sabhApatitva kiyA thA / anta meM kucha bolA bhI thaa| isa kaSTa ke lie use bahuta dhanyavAda mile the| vaha kAma hai ki harAma hai, yaha jAnanA cAha rahA thaa| vaha strI barAmade meM jhAr3a de rahI thii| akAraNa vAgIza ne gusse se kahA, "yahA~ aayo|" ___ strI ne muha Upara kiyA, pratIkSA kI aura phira muMha nIce DAla kara jhADU meM laga gii| vAgIza ne 'yahA~ Ayo' kahane ke sAtha udhara muha pherane kI jarUrata nahIM samajhI thI aura roSa-bhAva se sAmane ke vagIce ko dekhatA rahA thaa| uttara ko koI pAsa nahIM AyA to usane aura bhI dhamakI se kahA, "sunA ? idhara Ao !" ___ isa para jhAr3a chor3a, dhotI sira para sa~bhAlatI huI vaha strI pAsa A gii| gha ghaTa isa bAra atirikta bhAva se Age thA / vAgIza ko burA lgaa| usake mana meM huA chi yaha pardA hI aiboM ko DhakatA hai| bolA, "tuma aba kyA cAhatI ho?" __ strI aA~kheM nIcI karake aura usake Age dhotI kI kora ko eka hAtha se tanika thAme cupa khar3I rahI, javAba nahIM diyaa|' "bolo, kyA cAhatI ho ? aba tuma jA sakatI ho|" . strI ne phira kucha javAba na diyaa| vAgIza ne kahA, "dekho, maiM kala yahA~ se calA jAU~gA / vaha merA ghara nahIM hai, tuma dekhatI hI ho| isalie tuma yahA~ se Aja zAma taka jA sakatI ho|" jaba dekhA ki strI aba bhI kucha javAba nahIM detI hai to vAgIza ne

Page #181
176 . jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavAM bhAga] kahA, "dUsaroM ke sira para par3anA ThIka nahIM hotA, na bhIkha mAMganA hI ThIka hotA hai / tumhAre badana meM kasa hai aura tuma kAma kara sakatI ho| AvArA phirane tumheM zarma nahIM AtI ? kahIM naukarI dekha sakatI ho| maiM yahA~ se kala calA jaauuNgaa|" strI phira bhI cupa rhii| isa para vAgIza ne kar3aka kara kahA, "khar3I kyoM ho ? suna liyA; aba jAo, kAma kro|" yaha kahakara unhoMne akhabAra kholA aura strI jhAr3a dene lgii| usa roz2a strI ne gyAraha sera ATA pIsA, ghara ke kucha kapar3e bhI ghoye, jhAr3a bhI aura Upara carkhA bhI kaataa| yaha saba-kucha vAgIza ko khuza karane kI jagaha ulaTe nArAja karatA thaa| aurata usake hisAba ke mutAbika fAhizA, kAmacora aura tez2a jabAna nikalatI, to use santoSa hotaa| sabere kI apanI bAta-cIta ke pIche usake mana meM komalatA AI thii| socA thA ki do-eka tasakIna kI bAta usase kreNge| para dina meM phursata nahIM milI aura zAma ko AyA to mAluma huA ki strI ne dina-bhara mustaidI se kAma kiyA hai, basa isa eka bAta se usakA mana bigar3a gyaa| use bulAkara tAkIda se kahA, "sunA na tumane ki maiM kala jA rahA hU~ ? tumheM jo cAhie so kaho aura mere dosta kA piNDa chodd'o| unhoMne tumhAre khAne-pahinane kA koI jimmA nahIM liyA hai ! Aja ATA pIsA ?" strI cupa rhii| "sunatI ho; pIsA ki nahIM ? kitanA pIsA ?" dhIme se strI ne kahA, "dasa sera !" ATA pUrA gyAraha sera tulA thA, yaha bhAbhI jI se vAgIza ko mAlama ho cukA thA, bhAbhI jI adhUrA kAma nahIM karatI thiiN| sAr3he-gyAraha sera kaha sakatI thii| para strI ne batAyA dasa sera ! sunakara vAgIza ko gussA car3ha paayaa| kahA, "dasa sera ! kula dasa sera ? dina-bhara kyA karatI rahIM ?"

Page #182
cAlIsa rupaye 177 strI ko cupa dekha, kucha dera bAda kahA, "khaira, yaha lo?" kahakara gyAraha paise majadUrI ke usakI hathelI para rakha diye| pUchA, "aura carakhA ?" "kAtA thaa|" "usakI majadUrI kitanI huI, batalAmo? mujhe kala calA jAnA hai|" strI cupa rahI to dhamakAkara kahA, "batalAtI kyoM nahIM ho ? garIba se maiM koI muphta mehanata nahIM le sktaa|" kAfI dhamakAyA gayA to strI ne kahA, "jo Apa jaaneN|" vAgIza ne cAra pAne nikAlakara diye| kahA, "yaha to vAjiba se jyAdA hI hai|" strI ne isa para eka ikannI vApisa lauTAte hue kahA, "tIna Ane bahuta haiN|" vAgIza ko bahuta burA lgaa| bolA, "garIba kI mehanata khAne vAlA isa ghara meM koI nahIM hai| apane pAsa rkho| acchA, do dina tumane yahA~ kAma kiyA hai, usakA kyA huA ?" strI cupa rhii| vAgIza ne z2ora se kahA, "batAtI kyoM nahIM ho ? kyA huA ? jaise bar3I raIsajAdI ho|" strI dhIme se bolI, "mujhe yahA~ khAnA-kapar3A..." ___vAgIza ne DapaTakara kahA, "cupa rho| khAnA yahA~ mola nahIM bikatA / basa, cupa / ThIka bolo, do dina kA tumhArA kyA huA ?" ' vaha kucha nahIM bolii| kucha dera jaise vaha bhI anizcaya meM rahA; phira kahA, "acchA, vaha cAra Ane mujhe denA to|" / - strI ne paise vApisa kara diye| vAgIza ne eka rupayA nikAlakara usake hAthoM meM dete hue kahA, "bAraha Ane ThIka haiM naM ? itanI majadUrI aura kisI ko nahIM miltii| garIba jAnakara tumheM de rahe haiN|" isake bAda vAgIza cupa rahA aura strI bhI cupa rhii| thor3I dera bAda bolA, "tumhArA nAma kyA hai ?"

Page #183
178 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga "geNdo|" sunakara vAgIza phira cupa par3a gayA / thor3o dera bAda bolA, "hAM, to aba calI jAo, kala mujhe jAnA hai| inake Upara tumako nahIM rahanA caahie|" use cupa hI khar3I dekha pUchA, "kyA kahatI ho ?" strI ne jo kahA usakA Azaya thA ki kala mujhe vahIM sTezana le jAkara chor3a denA, akelI meM rAstA nahIM jaantii| sAtha kala ise sTezana le jAnA hogA, yaha bAta vAgIza ko bahuta apriya huI / sTezana bhI kyA koI muhallA hai ! sTezana para ghUmatI rahakara yaha aurata viSa hI phailAyegI, aura kyA karegI, Adi bAteM mana meM lAkara vAgIza ne use DAMTA, samajhAyA, upadeza diyaa| saba vaha strI pItI calI gii| Akhira bahuta pUchane para usane muha kholA hI to patA calA ki unnIsa rupaye eka karja ke use jamA karane haiN| vaha rakama dI jAya taba bhIkha mAMganA vaha chor3a sakatI hai| vAgIza ke jI meM to pAyA ki kahe ki tuma cAhe naraka meM par3o, mujha se matalaba ? bhIkha mAMganA chor3ogI to kisI para ahasAna nahIM karogI, jo ye unnIsa rupaye jamA hone kI bAta kahatI ho| kAma karo aura pasIne meM se dhelA-pAI jor3a karja cukAno , ityaadi| para vAgIza ne kahA kucha nhiiN| ___ilAhAbAda meM "chAyA" akhabAra kA mazahUra kArobAra hai| agale dina gyAraha baje vAgIza usI ke daphtara meM baiThA thA / nAma kI ciTa mainejara-sAhaba ko bheja dI gaI thI aura vaha yAda kiye jAne kI pratIkSA meM thaa| klarkoM kI katAreM kAma kara rahI thIM aura ghar3I cala rahI thii| saba, vyasta the / vAgIza akelA thA ki kaba pUchA jAya / Akhira usane socA ki kArobAra bar3A hai, phursata kama hai, dera honI

Page #184
cAlIsa rupaye 176 hI cAhie / lekina aba meM calU / phira bhI mana mAra kucha dera baiThA hI rahA / para kAma ba~dhA thA aura mainejara kI muzkila mainejara hI jAna sakatA hai / vAgIza usa muzkila ko na jAnakara Akhira kursI se khar3A huA aura lauTa calA / itane meM aura kAma jaldI-jaldI nibaTAkara mainejara lauTa rahe the / barAmade meM eka AdamI ko dekhakara kahA, "Apa !" vAgIza ne ThiThaka kara kahA, "jI, maiM mainejara - sAhaba se milanA cAhatA thA / " "pharamAie / " "oha, zrApa vAgIza haiM, lekara mainejara vAgIza ko vAgIza ne kahA, "mere nAma kI ciTa Apako milI hogI ?" zrAie zrAie ! " kahakara hAtha meM hAtha cale / vAgIza rAste meM unake nijI daphtara meM kursI lekara baiThane ko huA ki mainejara ne kahA, "oha, yahA~ nahIM / yahA~ zora-gula karIba hai / daphtara jo hai ! Aie, andara calie / " isa taraha nijI DrAiGgarUma meM le gaye aura vahA~ khAtira tavAjo kI, kahA, "Thahare kahA~ haiM ? yaha Apa hI kA ghara thA / kyA prA... vaha tA~gA Apako hai ? are bhAI, dekhanA - ( ghaNTI - caparAsI mAtA hai | ) dekho, bAbU sAhaba kA tA~gA khar3A hai / use hisAba karake ravAnA karo ! oha, nahIM-nahIM, Apa rahane dIjie / kyA denA hogA ? Der3ha ghaNTA - teraha Ane / dekho teraha prAne choTe bAbU se dilAo aura saphara kharca khAte DAlo / vAucara yahA~ lAne ko kaho ( caparAsI calA jAtA hai ) hA~, yaha batalAie vAgIza jI, ki Apa hama se khaphA kyoM haiM ? itane khata gae, eka kA javAba nahIM / hama patrikA ko U~cI banAnA cAhate haiMzrAlA sTaiNDarDa | Apa jaisoM ke sahayoga se yaha ho sakatA hai / para Apa to aise nArAja haiM ki khata kA javAba nahIM dete !"

Page #185
180 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] vAgIza ne kahA, "vaha vAgIza aba hai kahA~ jo kahAnI likhatA thA? vaha to mara gayA / kyA Apa loga cAhate the ki vaha na maratA ? yA aba cAhate haiM ki na mare ?" ___ "vAha-vAha ! Apa kyA kahate haiM ? irazAda kIjie, hama hAjira haiN| vijanisa kI hAlata to Apa jAnate haiM ! kAgaja kI mahaMgAI to kamara tor3e DAlatI hai / phira bhI jisa lAyaka haiM, hama pIche na rheNge| Apa jo kahie, sira-A~khoM para / dasa, pandraha, bIsa, cAlIsa-pASa kaha kara to dekhie| lekina hama hara mahIne Apa kI eka kahAnI cAhate haiM / apane yahA~ kahAnI-lekhaka haiM kitane ? haiM kahA~ ? vilAyatoM meM dekhie, vahA~ loga haiM U~ce darje ke, aura unakI kadra bhI hai| magara yahA~ pApa haiM aura do-cAra gina lIjie, ve bhI likheM nahIM to hama kyA kUr3e se apanA akhabAra bhareM ? Akhira Apa hI kahie ! dekhie vAgIza jI, eka kahAnI mApa hama ko hara mahIne dIjie aura rakama, jo irazAda pharamAie, hAjira karU~ / saca kahatA hU~, merI maMzA hai ki akhabAra kA aura usake jarie hindI kA sTaiNDarDa bane / vilAyatI kisI patrikA se Apa kI yaha patrikA Takkara le sake, jI hA~ / aura Apa logoM kI inAyata ho to yaha ky| kucha muzkila kAma hai......?" ___ vAgIza apane meM saMkucita thA / kucha isa vajaha se bhI ki bIsa rupae kI garaja lekara vaha yahA~ AyA thaa| kAnapura se calA to dasa rupaye usa kI jeba meM the| kyA khyAla thA ki rAha meM jahamata gale pA pdd'egii| aba bIsa rupaye yahA~ se lekara usa aurata ke mAthe paTaka degA aura kinArA legaa| yaha soca kara vaha AyA thaa| yahA~ Ane para khyAla huA ki kahA~ merI lAparavAhI ki itane khatoM kA eka javAba nahIM diyA, aura kahA~ inakA yaha salUka ki khAtira se mujhe chAye de rahe haiN| kahA, "jI nahIM, vaha to Apa kI kRpA hai / lekina saca mAnie ki maiM kahAnI bhUla gayA huuN| kisa muha se Apa ko pAsa dilAtA ? aura Asa-bharA patra na bheja

Page #186
' cAlIsa rupaye 181 sakU N to socA ki isase to zarma rakhane ke lie javAba TAla jAnA hI behatara hai / patra na likhane ke kasUra kI vajaha, saca mAnie, merI yaha zarma hI hai / " "vAha vAha ! yaha Apa kyA kahate haiM ! Apa jo likheMge ki eka cIja hogI / kahie, kyA ma~gAU~ ? pezagI rakhie, bAda meM jaba ho likhate rahiegA / saba prApa hI kA hai / bolie, pharamAiye ! para eka kahAnI hara nambara meM Apa kI ho, taba hai !" vAgIza ne muha kholA, "bIsa rupaye !" 'bIsa ! to vAha, yaha liijie| ( ghaNTI ) dekhie, hara mahIne eka umdA kahAnI hamako dIjie aura akhabAra apanA samajhie / ( caparAsI zrAtA hai / ) dekho, cAlIsa rupaye lAne ko kaho aura rasIda bhI banA veM / hA~ vAgIzajI, zrApa kA sAmAna yahIM kyoM na ma~gavA lU 1 ? eka bAra g2arIba kA bhI ghara sahI, moTara meM dasa minaTa meM zrA pahu~cegA / ' vAgIza ne mAfI mA~gI aura dhanyavAda diyA / rupaye aura rasIda lekara bAbU AyA to vAgIza ne kahA, "dekhie, maiM idhara kucha likha nahIM rahA hU~ / likhA hI nahIM jaataa| isase nahIM jAnatA ki Apako ApakI kahAnI kaba aayegii| do-tIna mahIne bhI laga sakate haiM / " "tIna mahIne ! bahuta behatara, tIna sahI / lekina cauthe mahIne meM ummIda karU~ !" "jI hA~, cauthe mahIne kahAnI na Ane ko to koI vajaha nahIM dIkhatI / Apa jAnie, eka muddata se mazka chUTa gaI hai / " "vAha vAha ! yaha bhI Apa kyA kahate haiM ! ApakI kalama kyA mazka kI mohatAja hai ? kalama uThAne kI dera hai ki phira kyA hai / " rupaye mila gae / eka Ane ke sTAmpa kI rasIda bhI ho gaI / mainejara ne kahA, "kyA zrApa jAe~ge ? jI nahIM, abhI nhiiN| kisI hAlata

Page #187
182 . jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavAM bhAga] meM abhI Apa nahIM jA sakate haiN| aura rihAI hogI to eka vAyade pr| vaha yaha ki Apa prAyandA yahIM tthhriyegaa|" vAgIza ne isa vakta ke lie to lAcArI jatalAI / hA~ AyandA vaha yahIM pAyagA / abhI to eka mitra ke yahA~ pahu~canA hai| isa para mainejara bahuta nirAza the / to bhI unhoMne tatparatA se moTara lAne ko kahA / jahA~ pahu~canA ho, moTara unheM pahuMcA degii| mainejara vAgIza ke sAtha porca taka Ae / DrAivara se kahA, "bAbU jahA~ kaheM le jaao|" ghar3I meM samaya dekhakara vAgIza se pUchA, "Apako vahA~ se phira kahIM jAne ke lie to moTara darakAra nahIM hogI ? do baje haiM / paune tIna baje eka epAiNTameNTa hai|" ___ vAgIza ne sadhanyavAda kahA, "jI nahIM, pahu~cA kara gAr3I sIdhI prA sakatI hai|" (DrAivara se ) "acchA, to bAbU ko pahuMcA kara yahA~ sIdhe gAr3I le AnA / acchA, vAgIzajI, dekhie meharabAnI rkhiegaa| aura khAdima ko yAda phrmaaiegaa|" Aja hI zAma kI gAr3I se vAgIza ko jAnA thaa| usane mitra se pUchA ki unheM kAma-kAja ko kisI naukarAnI kI jarUrata to nahIM hai na ? hAM, mitra ko jarUrata na thI, para strI ko aura koI ThikAnA na ho to kucha mahIne use nibAhane ko taiyAra the| itane meM kahIM dUsarI jagaha usake lie dekha dI jaaygii| vAgIza ne strI se pUchA / mAlUma huA ki vAgIza use khuda vahIM sTezana ke pAsa chor3a pAye, isake sivA vaha aura kucha nahIM mA~gatI / vAgIza ne samajhAyA ki yahA~ ArAma se rahegI aura dasa rupaye ke hisAba se do mahIne meM bIsa rupayA jamA-pUjI ho jaaygii| para nahIM, vaha sAtha sTezana jaaygii|

Page #188
cAlIsa rupaye vAgIza ko burA mAlUma huA, para mitra ko bhalA mAlUma huA / aurata-jAta kA unheM bharosA nahIM, phira jisane khulI havA dekhI ho ! usa dina sabere hI uThakara strI ne dasa sera ATA pIsA thA, jhAr3a dI thI aura maharI na Ane kI vajaha se kahane-para caukA-bAsana bhI usI ne kiyA thaa| isakI majadUrI meM vAgIza ne ATha pAne de, bharapAI kI thii| Aja strI ne apane purAne kapar3oM kI bAbata pUchA thaa| vaha ina kapar3oM ko yahIM utAra jaaygii| para mAlUma huA hai ki usake kapar3e nahIM haiN| sunakara mAlakina ke kamare kI dahalIja para sira navAte samaya usane apanI gAMTha ke kula paune do-rupaye nikAla kara rakha diye / yaha dekhakara mAlakina Aga-babUlA ho gii| phuphakAra kara apanI jagaha se uTha Akara lAta se saba paise dUra pheMka die aura use phaurana ghara se nikala jAne ko kahA aura apane sAmane se haTa jAne para bhI taraha-taraha ke durvacana muha para lAkara vaha bar3abar3AtI rahI / vaha strI binA kucha kahe pheMke hue paise bIna kara kisI-na-kisI kAma meM dUra ho rhii| khaira, vAgIza use tA~ge meM biThA kara calA aura rAste meM bIsa rupaye use sauMpa diye / dene ke sAtha use bahuta sakhta-susta bhI kahA / strI ne rupaye le lie aura cupa rhii| vAgIza ne kahA, "tumako zarma pAnI cAhie ki eka ijjata kI naukarI milatI thI so tuma ko nahIM suhAI / maiM jAnatA hU~ ki tuma phira vahI hAtha phailAtI phirogii| para, tuma meM gairata hogI to, bIsa rupae ye jo tuma ko diye haiM, isake bAda baiTha kara kucha kAma-hIle se lgogii| yaha nahIM ki behayA-sI ghUmo aura bhalemAnusoM ko taMga karo , eka zarIfa AdamI ne tumheM aisI ijjata se rakhA, khAnA-pahananA diyA, Upara se merI khAtira dasa rupaye mAhavArI dene ko taiyAra hue aura tuma aisI ki unake upakAra ko eka nahIM ginA / tumhAre kAma se maiM samajhA thA ki tuma meM samajha hogI / lekina khaira jAne do| yahA~ rahatI kahA~ ho ?"

Page #189
184 . jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA bhAga] "kahIM nhiiN|" "kahIM to rahatI ho?" "kahIM raha letI huuN|" saca pUcho to vAgIza ko behada burA lgaa| vaha jaldI isa bavAla se chuTTI pAnA cAhatA thaa| use sudha AI ki sTezana para kulI aura dUsare loga kyA soceNge| yaha khyAla aba taka nahIM pAyA thA, aba AyA to sacamuca yaha saba-kucha bar3A betukA lagA aura zarma mAlUma huii| so apanI kAphI nasIhata kharca kara gumasuma ho rhaa| vaha jaise isa bAta ko yahIM ekadama samApta dekhanA cAhatA thaa| aisI hI gumasuma hAlata meM thA ki sunA, strI pUcha rahI hai, "Apa kahA~ jAyeMge, bAbU-sAhaba ?" ''kaanpur|" javAba meM yaha eka zabda jhaTake se muha se bAhara pheMka kara binA usa ora dekhe vaha apanI jagaha baiThA rhaa| tAMge meM vaha kocavAna ke barAbara mAge baiThA thaa| bacce ko lekara strI pIche baiThI thii| vAgIza mana meM mAnatA thA ki tAMge-vAlA jAnatA hai ki yaha aurata mere sAtha nahIM hai, tA~ge-vAle ne unakI bAteM suna lI hoMgI / tAMge-vAle kI upasthiti ke kAraNa bAteM kucha atirikta jora se kahI jA sakI thii| kucha dera bAda strI ne pUchA, "vahIM rahate haiM ?" gusse meM vAgIza ne atyanta saMkSipta bhAva se kahA, "haaN|" kucha dera cupa rahane ke bAda strI ne kahA, "kAnapura to bahuta bar3A hai| vahA~ kahA~ rahate haiM ?" vAgIza ne asahya bana kara kahA, "tuma cupa nahIM raha sakatI ho ?" strI cupa ho gaI, usake bAda nahIM bolii| sTezana pahu~ca kara tatparatA se vAgIza ne kulI ko bulaayaa| usake sira para sAmAna rakhA aura calane ko thA ki kulI ne pUchA, "basa bAbU, saba sAmAna ho gayA ?" - vAgIza ko sahasA yAda AyA aura kahA, "tA~ge ke vahA~ nIce sUTakesa

Page #190
? cAlIsa rupaye kulI tA~ge ke pIche Akara bolA, "utaro bahU jI / " strI aba taka apanI jagaha hI baiThI raha gaI thI / sunakara ekadama cauMkI aura jhaTapaTa tAMge se utara prAI / kulI ne kahA, "Dyor3hA darjA, bAbU jI ? bahU jI pleTaphArma para calatI haiM, Apa TikaTa lAiye / " vAgIza ne anAyAsa kahA, "TikaTa hai / " 185. strI sudha khoI khar3I thI / vAgIza ne bhallA kara kahA, 'kyA khar3I ho, calo / kulI ke sAtha calo !" kucha dera ThiThaka kara strI kulI ke sAtha bar3ha gaI / itane meM vAgIza ke kandhe para thApI pdd'ii| pIche mur3akara vAgIza kyA dekhatA hai ki ha~sa rahe haiM, bAbU rAmakizora ! - "helo vAgIza, kAnapura cala rahe ho ? meM bhI cala rahA hU~ / yaha kauna haiM ?" vAgIza ne kahA, "kauna ?" rAmakizora ne kahA, "yahI, jo sAtha haiM ?" vAgIza ne kahA, "sAtha kauna ? koI nahIM / " rAmakizora ne kahA, "acchA koI na sahI / " aura vaha muskarA diye / vAgIza kisI taraha rAmakizora se kinArA kATa tIra kI taraha pleTaphArma kI tarapha bar3ha gyaa| rela prAI usane strI se kahA, "dekho, tumane mujhe kaise aba tuma jAo / " strI eka tarapha mu~ha jhukA kara khar3I thI vahIM khar3I rahI / " jAo / " "calI jAU~gI / " "kaba calI jAogI, jAo / " "Apa cale jAe~ge taba maiM bhI calI jAU~gI / " "taba kyoM, abhI jAo !" na thI / kulI ke haTane para jhamele meM DAla diyA hai / sunakara nahIM kaha sakate ki kyA huA / strI ekadama badalI dokhI / vaha muskarAI aura bolI - "abhI na jAU~ to ?"

Page #191
186 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] / vAgIza kI chAtI para jaise kisI ne mukkA mAra diyaa| vaha sanna raha gayo, bolA, "kyA matalaba ?" strI aura bhI muskarAhaTa ke sAtha bolI, "ApakA maiM kyA vigAr3a rahI hU~ ? kahatI hU~, calI jaauuNgii| pleTaphArma saba kA hai|" ___ vAgIza usa pragalbha nArI kI tarapha A~kha phAr3a kara dekhatA raha gayA, "to tuma nahIM jAnogI ?" muskarAtI huI bolI, "na, nahIM jaauuNgii|" vAgIza isa para kucha dera khoyA / phira asamanjasa kATa kara bolA, "acchI bAta hai / to tumheM khar3I dekha kara loga kyA samajhege ? sAmAna para baiTha kyoM na jAmo?" . sunate hI vaha holDAla para khuda baiTha gaI aura camar3e kA sUTa alaga sarakA kara bolI, "Apa bhI baiTha jaaiye|" vAgIza bhI baiTha gyaa| taba strI bolI, "mujhe sTezana para chor3a jAte tumheM kucha vicAra nahIM hotA hai ! tumheM kisI bhI naukarAnI vagairaha kI jarUrata nahIM hai| basa, khAna-kapar3e para meM par3I raha sakatI haiM, maiM pIsa letI hU~, jhAr3a -buhArI, caukA-bAsana kara letI hU~, kapar3e dho letI huuN| aisI kisI naukarAnI kI tumheM jarUrata nahIM hai ?" ___ vAgIza ne use dekhA / kaThora hokara kahA, "nahIM, mujhe jarUrata nhiiN| maiM amIra nahIM huuN|" "maiM kucha nahIM mAMgatI, rUkhe-sUkhe meM raha luugii| para tuma samajhadAra hokara sTezana para mujhe kahA~ chor3e jA rahe ho ?" / vAgIza ko bahuta-bahuta burA lgaa| usane kahA, "mujhe nahIM mAlUma thA ki tuma aisI hogI ! tuma kyA cAhatI ho ? yaha lo, mere pAsa bIsa hI rupaye aura haiM / lekara koI mehanata-majUrI dekho|" ' strI ne cupacApa rupaye le lie| kucha nahI kahA; basa vAgIza ke maha kI tarapha dekhatI rhii|

Page #192
' cAlIsa rupaye 187 Age bAtacIta kA maukA nahIM milaa| sAmAna ke lie kulI prA paha~cA thaa| rela Ane vAlI dekha kara strI tatparatA se uTha kara alaga khar3I ho gii| rela AI, kulI sAmAna lekara Dyor3he daraje kI tarapha bddh'aa| vAgIza bhI jagaha kI jaldI meM mAno udhara bar3ha gyaa| strI apanI jagaha se hilI na DulI, vahIM raha gii| calatI rela se vAgIzane dekhA ki strI jAtI huI rela kI tarapha muha kiye vahIM-kI-vahIM khar3I thii| vAgIza ko yaha kyA huA ? vaha badalane lgaa| likhanA kama hogayA, nirdvandvatA kama ho gaI / logoM se milane-julane kI tabiyata na rhii| parivAra meM raha kara vaha akelA par3ane lgaa| jaise anajAna meM bhItara baiTha kara kucha use kutarane lgaa| - asala bAta yaha ki anta taka vaha savAloM ko apane se ThelatA AyA thaa| samajhatA thA ki yahI unakA sulajhanA hai| vaha AjAda thA aura kisI antimatA ko nahIM mAnatA thaa| saba ThIka hai, kyoMki saba galata hai| isalie jIvana ko eka atirikta ha~sI-khuzI ke sAtha nibhAye cale jAne ko haThAt saba-kucha mAnakara bina-pAla tiratI nAva kI taraha vaha laharAtA calA jA rahA thaa| aise hI meM vaha lekhaka bana gyaa| mahAn vastu usake lie vinoda kI ho sakatI thii| jIvana kI tarapha eka khAsa halakepana kA dRSTikoNa usameM basa gayA thaa| zraddheya puruSa usakI kalama ke nIce vyaGga bane rahate the aura siddhAnta bahama / isa kAraNa lekhaka kI haisiyata se vaha bahuta loka-priya thaa| eka kI pUjA kA viSaya dUsare ke hAsya kA viSaya bane isase adhika prAnanda kI bAta kyA hai| isa taraha duniyA ke saba pUjitoM ko upahAsya aura saba mAnyatAmoM ko mUrkhatA dikhAkara vaha adhikAMza logoM kA mana khuza karatA thaa| yoM bauddhika dRSTi se duniyA kA vaha bahuta upakAra bhI karatA thA / upakAra, kyoMki bahama tor3atA thaa|

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188 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavIM bhAga para apakAra bhI karatA hI thA, kyoMki zraddhA tor3atA thaa| para isa bAra ilAhAbAda se lauTakara vaha jaise khuda cakkara meM A gayA thaa| aba taka lekhanI ke rAste vyaGga aura vinoda karane aura nIti ko anIti kI sIkha dene meM use kucha kaThinAI nahIM huI yI / kAma maje kA thA, zoharata detA thA aura paisA lAtA thaa| para paise para vAgIza nahIM ruka skaa| isase paisA bhI vAgIza para nahIM rukaa| isa hAtha le, usa hAtha de, basa yaha hAla thA / lenevAlA hAtha khAlI rahe, utane kAla denevAle hAtha ko bhI ArAma mila jAtA thaa| para idhara se AyA nahIM ki udhara gayA nhiiN| isa hAlata meM vyasana becArA koI use kyA laga sakatA thaa| vyasana hai lata, lata lAcArI hotI hai| para dostoM meM baiThakara zarAba cakha lI thii| aura raMgIniyoM meM kisI saGgI-sAthI kA sAtha nibAha diyA yaha dUsarI bAta hai| yaha to ziSTatA hai| nahIM to dharma kA dambha na ho jAya ? ataH bigAr3a ke rAste para bar3e maz2e ke sAtha bigar3ate mitra ke sAtha vaha kucha kadama cala letA thaa| yaha vaha apanA karttavya mAnatA thaa| para usameM khuda bigar3ane kI zakti na thii| vaha kucha banA hI aisA thA ki kSaNa usa para se gujara jAte aura yaha una para se gujara jAtA thaa| donoM eka-dUsare ko chUte yA aTakAte nahIM the / jo huA pAra huaA, usakA bandhana kaisA ? yahA~ taka ki yAda, punarvicAra, pazcAttApa Adi ke astitva ko bAta use samajha na pAtI thii| para ilAhAbAda se Akara yaha use kyA huA ? duniyA ko aba taka maje se dekhatA thA aura usameM maje se vicaratA thA / sairagAha aura tamAzA nahIM to duniyA kyA hai ? bhAMti-bhA~ti kI caturAiyA~ camana ko yahA~ gulajAra banA rahI haiN| una saba meM nirdvandva vaha kyoM ghUmatA rahe ? kucha kyoM na phAMse ? koI sadAcAra yA durAcAra, nIti athavA anIti, svArtha athavA paropakAra, dRzya athavA vastu ? saba hai aura sabako maranA hai| kidhara cala rahA hai ? mahAzUnya kI ora / anta meM to sabako maranA hai| basa ho gayA taya ki maranA hai ! aba usa mauta meM koI kyA dekhe ? anta

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cAlIsa rupaye ya ke antara meM yA usake pAra kucha dIkha to sakatA nahIM, isase udhara A~kha denA hI bhArI mUrkhatA hai / basa, yaha taya karake nAcate-gAte hue vartamAna ke kSaNoM para tiratA-sA huA vaha rahatA thA ! para ilAhAbAda se pAyA ki kucha dinoM meM use pratIta hone lagA ki use zarAba kI jarUrata hai| andara kucha phUTanA cAhatA hai, jise DubAnA caahie| g2ama nahIM thA jise g2alata karatA hai| para to bhI kucha thA, jo anicchita hokara bhI bhItara se ekadama zUnya nahIM ho pAtA thA, aba taka vaha apanepana ko apane pAsa na rakhatA thaa| para aba jarUrata huI ki vaha apanepana ko bhulAe / yAnI vaha aniSTa vastu usameM ho calI thI jisakA nAma hai apanApana, aura jo abhizApa hai / usI kA dUsarA nAma haiAtmAlocana / isase bar3I vedanA kyA hai ki prAdamI ko prAtmA mile ? mAtA zizu./ ko janma detI hai, to yaha svayaM usakA punarjanma hotA hai| vyakti ko apanI prAtmA milatI hai, to bhI punarjanma ke binA nhiiN| janma ke lie maranA par3atA hai / vaha kucha aisA hI vAgIza ke sAtha ho rahA thaa| vaha apane bhItara kisI kA janma nahIM cAhatA thaa| para usake bAvajUda eka bIja usameM garbhastha ho par3A thA, isalie apane bAvajUda use maranA par3a rahA thaa| .. kintu svecchA-pUrvaka marane kI kalA kisa ko prAtI hai ? isase jisa vastu ko usake nUtana janma ko sambhava karane ke lie usameM se mara miTanA cAhie, vAgIza usase cipaTA rahanA cAhatA thA / pariNAma thA eka ghora mAnasika dvandva / likhanA bhAr3a meM calA gayA, zoharata kA khyAla aura laukika kartavyoM kI cintA cUlhe meM par3a gii| basa, zarAba kI mAtrA usakI bar3hatI jAne lgii| ___ina DhaMgoM se hAla bigar3atA hI gyaa| paise kI kamI hii| para kamI meM rahane kI usakI Adata nahIM thI, na usameM beImAnI kA bIja thaa|

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jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [ sAtavA~ bhAga ] C 190 pariNAma yaha huA ki jisa kisI se vaha udhAra le lene lagA / liyA udhAra lauTAne kI use yAda hI nahIM rahatI thI / aise lagabhaga eka sAla ho gayA / isa bIca 'chAyA' ke mainejara ke namratA pUrNa kaI patra zrAye / patra pAkara vaha ha~sa detA thA, dhIme-dhIme patroM meM vinaya kI jagaha takAjA zrAne lagA / taba bhI usane javAba nahIM diyA / takAje meM eka bAra kucha avizvAsa kI gandha use milI / usane mainejara ko likhA ki cAlIsa rupaye kyA kabhI tamAze para Apane kharca nahIM kiye haiM ? samajhie yaha cAlIsa rupaye bhI tamAze meM gaye / aura tamAze ko tamAze kI taraha Apa dekheM to jitanA burA ho, utanA hI bar3hiyA kahA jA sakatA hai / aba kahAnI mujha se na mAMgeM, na rupaye / rupaye DUba gaye aura kahAnI vAlA bhI DUba gayA / khata likhakara vAgIza ne socA hogA ki chuTTI huii| para mainejara kI sajjanatA samApta hone vAlI na thI / patra AyA ki ApakI kahAnI se patra kI zobhA zraura pratiSThA bar3hatI hai| rupaye kI koI bAta nahIM / bIsa rupaye aura bheje jAte haiM / kahAnI zrApa se mile, isakI hindI - jagat ko pratIkSA hai / patra par3hakara vAgIza ne tabhI phAr3a pheMkA aura manIArDara lAnevAle DAkie ko dhamakAkara ghara se bAhara nikala diyA / I aise kucha dina aura bIte / vAgIza rAha para na aayaa| use bhayaMkara yuddha karanA par3a rahA thaa| zarAba kI mAtrA kAphI bar3ha gaI thI / aura aba saste kisma kI zarAba mila pAtI thI / isa bIca usane gA~dhI-darzana para do-eka nibandha likhakara akhabAroM meM bheje, jinakI marmajJoM meM bahuta prazaMsA huI / usa para aura kaiyoM ne lekha likhe / prazaMsA ke aise saba lekhoM ko usane Tukar3e-Tukar3e karake bAhara pheMka diyA / vaha aba zarAba se jaba khAlI hotA, kamare meM gA~dhIjI kI tasvIra kI tarapha lagAtAra dekhatA rahatA / kabhI dekhate-dekhate rone lagatA / phira usake bAda botala khola kara pIne lagatA /

Page #196
cAlIsa rupaye 161. aisI hAlata meM 'chAyA' kA patra pAyA ki aba bahuta huA, kahAnI dIjie yA rupaye lauttaaie| kahAnI ke nAma para vaha jala-bhuna gyaa| kaleje meM Aga laga rahI ho, para usakI kahAnI bhI ho sakatI hai| zahara meM Aga lagatI hai aura akhabAroM ke riporTaroM kI kahAnI banatI hai| akhabArI riporTaroM kA kahAnI dene kA kAma Aga meM jalane vAloM ke jalane ke kAma se jyAdA kImatI hai, yaha saca ho sakatA hai, para jo jala rahA hai, vahI usa jalane ke saundarya kA bakhAna kaise kare ? jvAlAmukhI apanI tasvIra ko dekhakara kyA kahegA? usa tasvIra kA yahI bhAgya hai ki vaha DrAiMgarUma kA saundarya bar3hAve / nahIM to kahIM apanI hI asaliyata ke pAsa pahu~cane kI vaha tasvIra himmata karegI to pAsa taka pahu~ca nahIM pAyagI ki bIca hI meM phuka jaaygii| isalie 'chAyA' kI mAMga para vaha dA~ta kisakisA kara raha gayA / aisA gussA AyA ki vaha apane ko hI na kATa le / socA ki likha de ki cAlIsa rupaye ke bagaira kisI kI jAna nikala rahI ho to tAra denA, taba rupaye phaurana yahA~ se pAyeMge, para usane yaha nahIM likhaa| kyoMki usako ekadama nizcaya ho gayA ki cAlIsa rupaye ke binA yA usake evaja ke binA sacamuca mainejara kI jAna hI nikala rahI hai| vaha cAhatA thA ki vaha jAna jarUra bace, kyoMki vaha jAna paise kI ummIda meM aTakI hai| isalie vaha A~kheM phAr3a-phAr3a kara sira ke Upara lagI gA~dhI jI kI tasvIra aura usake pAra chata meM dekhatA thA ki kahA~ se cAlIsa rupaye nikala pAveM / vaha jaldI-se-jaldI utane rupaye 'chAyA' ko bheja denA cAhatA thA kyoMki prANa-rakSA kA savAla thaa| para aisI hAlata aura cAlIsa rupaye....!! ___ harAma kA nahIM, kAma kA khAnA caahie|'-maiN kisa kAma kA khA rahA hU~ ? kisa kAma kA khAtA rahA hU~ ? kyA lekha bhI kAma hai ? zoharata kAma hai ?...asala meM vaha sambhala kara phira-phira vahIM khar3A honA cAhatA thaa| lekina z2amIna nIce se barAbara khisaka rahI thii| isase

Page #197
- 162 janendra kI kahAniyAM [sAtavA~ bhAga] usake Upara majabUtI se paira bA~dha kara khar3A honA sambhava hI na thaa| usa ko to giranA hI hogA / para gira kara TikanA kahA~ hogA...yaha vaha nahIM jAnatA thA / use mAlUma huA ki gA~dhI eka AdamI hai jo usa asalI jamIna para khar3A hai| para mere paira to usa jamIna ko chU bhI nahIM pAte haiN| kahA~ maiM khar3A hoU~ ? isa taraha apanI jamIna se ukhar3a kara vaha jaise atala pAtAla meM giratA jA rahA thA |-hraam, kAma ! kAma, harAma, !! vaha harAmI hai, harAmI hai !!! taba use vaha strI yAda AtI thI, jisako harAma kA nahIM, kAma kA khAne kI sIkha usane dI thii| usane jI-tor3a kara kAma kiyA thA, phira bhI vAgIza ne use harAma kA nahIM, kAma kA khAne kI zikSA dI thii| kahA thA, "AvArA na rahanA, kAma karanA / " para vAgIza khuda kyA kara rahA thA ? usane kyA AvArApana ko hI eka kalA kA rUpa nahIM de liyA thA ? kyA usane apanI ora se chala bhI usameM aura nahIM jor3a diyA thA ? isa taraha usakI zoharata aura usakA bar3appana kyA saba eka bahuta bar3A mAyA-jAla hI nahIM thA ? agara usa aurata kA hAtha phailA kara bhIkha mAMganA jhUTha thA, to kyA usakA yaha kitAbeM kAlI karake peTa bharane aura zikSA dene kA dambha bharane kA dhandhA kyA jhUTha nahIM thA ? para isa zaMkA ke atala meM use tala na mila rahA thA? isase Upara gA~dhI kI tasvIra ko dekha kara rotA thA aura phira raha kara botala sambhAla letA thaa| kucha dina aura bIte ki 'chAyA' kA noTisa AyA ki cAlIsa rupaye sAta roja ke andara bhejo, nahIM to mAmalA vakIla ke supurda kiyA jA rahA hai| par3hakara vAgIza ne caina kI sA~sa lii| vaha khuza huyA ki kisI kI marane kI bAta aba nahIM hai, adAlata usako jilA degii| isalie noTisa pAkara vaha isa bAre meM bephikra ho gyaa| aba dayA kA prazna na

Page #198
, cAlIsa rupaye thaa| jisako adAlata kA bala prApta hai, usako dayA denA usakA apamAna karanA hai / aura vAgIza kitanA hI gira jAya, itanA adhama nahIM ho sakatA thA ki dayanIya para dayA na kare athavA sammAnanIya kA apamAna kre| para hAya ! vAgIza ko daNDa pAne kA santoSa na milA / vaha cAhatA thA ki usakI khUba phajIhata ho; usane jo lekhakI aura prasiddhi kA mahA jhUTha apane cAroM ora racA thA, vaha jhUTha TUTakara dhUla meM mila jAya; usakI ijjata cithar3e-cithar3e hokara kIcar3a meM sana jaay| vaha jela pAye aura sakhta-se-sakhta apamAna paaye| use laukika karttavya saba mithyA aura apane ko daNDita karane kA hI eka parama karttavya satya dikhAI detA thA / isa samaya usakI hAlata thI ki agara sau rupaye jabardastI koI usake hAtha meM de jAtA to vaha sau ke sau kisI rAha-calate andhe ko de detA / para 'chAyA' ko pAI na bhejakara usa ora se vaha beijjatI hI cAhatA thA, usase sastI kucha vastu pAkara kisI taraha bhI chUTa rahanA nahIM cAhatA thaa| duniyA'jaba taka use pAmara na dekha le aura pAmara na mAna le taba taka mAno use santoSa na hogA / kyoMki abhimAna kA pApa karane vAlA isase kama daNDa ke yogya nahIM hai| vAgIza ! tU lekhaka, jJAnI, nIti sikhAne vAlA ! are dambhI ! aba tU isI adhamAdhama naraka meM par3a ! - isa taraha kI usakI bhAvanAe~ thIM, aura vaha gA~dhI kI tarapha dekhakara rotA aura zarAba pIkara ha~satA thaa| para usakA cAhA kucha na huaa| kyoMki eka dina vaha ilAhAbAda vAlI strI AI aura usane cAlIsa rupaye vAgIza ko lauTA diye| vAgIza ne usa para DA~TA-DapaTA, gAliyA~ dIM, noToM ko phAr3a dene kI dhamakI dii| para, aurata saba pI gaI, aura na vahA~ se TalI na rupaye vApisa lie ?

Page #199
194 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga ] * vAgIza ne kahA, "tuma andhI to nahIM ho ? maiMne kaba tumheM rupaye die ? kaise rupaye ? vaha koI aura hogA / dekhatI nahIM ho, vaha kaisI jagaha hai ? isalie mujhe hoza rahate tuma yahA~ se calI jAo; para strI ne kucha nahIM sunA aura rupaye DAlakara usa kamare kI yahA~ vahA~ bikharI cIja vastu sambhAlane meM laga gaI / vAgIza se yaha nahIM huA ki lAteM mArakara usa strI ko vahA~ se nikAla de, agarce vaha cAhatA yahI thA / : 6 : vaha strI kamare ko z2arA sambhAlakara thor3I dera meM calI gaI, lekina agale dina phira nAI, usase agale dina phira usase usase agale dina phira / khuda usa strI ke mu~ha se vAgIza ko mAlUma huA ki vaha vyabhicAriNI thI / vAgIza kI sahAnubhUti meM usane jAne kyA dekha liyA thA / usakI kAma kI mustaidI sirpha vAgIza kA mana harane ke lie thI / usa para ikkIsa rupaye karz2a hone kI kahAnI gar3hanta thI / vaha vAgIza ko rijhAkara usase kucha ThaganA cAhatI thii| vaha bAz2Ara meM baiTha cukI hai, jela kATa cukI hai / isI taraha aura bhI usane apane pApa kI kahAniyA~ sunaaiiN| jAne ke dina se usane lekina usa dina ilAhAbAda se vAgIza ke mehanata se kAma kiyA hai / vaha saca kahatI hai ki usane harAma kA nahIM khAyA, kAma kA khAyA hai / aura usI meM se cAlIsa rupaye bacAe haiM ! usa strI ne mAthA dharatI para Tekakara kahA ki ye rupaye aba vaha vApisa nahIM legI / isa taraha tIna roz2a vAgIza ke pAgalapana, usakI jhir3akI aura badahavAsI ke bAvajUda strI prapanI pUrI pApa-kahAnI sunA gaI / taba cauthe roja vAgIza ne kahA, "suno, yaha gilAsa botala morI meM paTaka prAno /

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cAlIsa rupaye 195 aura manIArDara likhatA hU~, DAkakhAne meM de zrAnA, Upara se jo paise lageM lagA denA aura do dina yahA~ mata AnA / kyoMki pUre do dina meM soU~gA / " . vaha kahanA cAhatA thA, para kaha nahIM sakA, " "usake bAda... "maiM bhI harAma kA nahIM, kAma kA khAU~gA / " cAlIsa rupaye Aye aura gye| phira Aye aura phira gaye / vaha kaise ? usakA vRttAnta yahA~ samApta hotA hai /

Page #201
pyAra kA tarka prema ke bAre meM aksara bAteM cala jAyA karatI haiM / prema kI bAta prema se alaga cIz2a hai / prema meM par3akara aksara bAta sUjhatI hI nahIM / phira bhI AdamI hai ki prema sahatA nahIM usakI bAta karatA / aise vaha prema ko majAka banatA hai / kalakatte meM ThaharA huA thA ki mere hAtha meM kumAra kA kArDa diyA gayA / sAta-ATha varSa hue, kumAra mujhe dillI meM milA karatA thA / vaha AyA to maiMne dekhA ki kumAra aba ThIka vahI nahIM hai / kAfI badala gayA hai / pahale ikaharA thA, aba badana bhara AyA hai; mAlUma hotA hai, vyavahAra meM aba vaha zAyada kucha Thaura-ThikAne se hai / kapar3e naI taraha ke haiM aura AtmavizvAsa se hIna nahIM dIkhatA hai / kumAra ne bar3I abhinnatA se mujha se bheMTa kI aura kucha dera bAda, jaba ki maiM sakatA thA ki vaha jAnA cAhatA hai, usane uThate hue kahA, "bhAI, mujhe kucha tuma ko dikhAnA hai aura salAha lenI hai / tumheM kaba vakhta hogA ? ghara nA sakoge ?" maiMne muskarA kara pUchA, "kyA dikhAnA hai ? ghara basA liyA hai kyA ? koI acchI zakala ghara para dikhAnI hai ?" vaha kucha lAla par3a AyA, jaldI se bolA, "nahIM, nahIM / " 166

Page #202
, pyAra kA tarka . 167 "to kucha sAtha lAye ho dikhAne ko ? ho to lAmo, de jaano|" maiM dekha rahA thA ki usake koTa kI jeba mAmUlI hAlata meM nahIM hai aura hAtha jarUrI se jyAde dera taka vahA~ aTakA rahatA hai| maiMne svIkRta-bhAva se kahA, "lAmo, lAo, nikAlo jo ho|" . vaha ghabarAyA huA-sA bolA, "prApa ko vakhta hogA ?" "vakhta ke sivA yahA~ kucha nahIM rahatA hai", usake koTa kI jeba kI tarapha hAtha bar3hA kara use thapakAte hue maiMne kahA, "bar3e vo ho, haz2arata ! sakucA kyoM rahe ho?" asala meM jaba maiM kumAra ko jAnatA thA, yaha dekhe binA na raha pAtA thA ki yaha AdamI kitanA bhI bar3A AdamI ho jAya, kavi bananA usase jaldI nahIM chUTa skegaa| zAdI vaha apane samaya para nahIM kara pAyegA aura bahuta kAla taka apane aura vivAha ke bIca meM romAnsa ko calAe hI jaaygaa| ____aisA thA, tabhI maiM kalakatte-jaisI kAma-kAjI logoM kI bastI meM isa prakAra Aye hue aura pUre taura para kAmindA dIkhane vAle prAdamI ko binA cher3e nahIM raha skaa| maiM jAnatA thA ki yaha AdamI AsAnI se kAma-kAja meM catura ho sakatA hai, lekina eka jagaha hai, jahA~ apane liye ulajhana banAye rakhanA usake liye bahuta jarUrI hai| _Akhira lAla phIte meM ba~dhA eka paikeTa usane jeba se bAhara kiyA aura mere hAtha meM thamA ke yaha kahatA huyA 'zAma ko pAU~gA amuka samaya, vaha tejI se bAhara calA gyaa| . kahane kI AvazyakatA nahIM ki vaha paikeTa prema-patroM kA thaa| kinhIM para kesara chir3akI thI, ekAdha para gulAba kI pattI rakhI thii| do-cAra, chaiATha patra meM dekha gayA / mAlUma ho gayA ki dUsarI ora samarpaNa udyata hai aura hara taraha kI ttprtaa| bhAgA bhI jA sakatA hai, marA bhI jA

Page #203
168 . jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] sakatA hai| itanA jAnakara patroM ko jyoM-kA-tyoM bA~dhakara rakha diyA aura acaraja karane lagA ki salAha mujhase paristhiti ke ThIka kisa bindu para mAMgI jAyagI aura vaha kyA hai jo aisI kaTibaddhAvasthA meM dene ke lie mere pAsa ho sakatA hai| ___mAlUma huA ki kumAra ne acchA-khAsA daphtara jamA liyA hai| sAta sau-pATha sau kI mAsika Aya abhI pakkI hai aura kAra-bAra ubhAra para hai| lekina yaha bhI mAlUma huA ki eka bAra usa para kesa hote-hote bacA hai aura vaha kaThinAI se jela se bAhara raha sakA hai| zAma ko kumAra pAyA, lekina usane bAta nahIM kI, sirpha Agraha kiyA ki maiM usake sAtha kahIM bAhara cluu| mujhe isameM Apatti na thI aura dekhA ki maiM usake sAtha meja para baiThA huA hU~ aura zemapena bhI hamAre bIca A gii| kumAra ne jAnanA cAhA ki maiM una patroM se usake prema ke sambandha meM kyA anumAna kara sakA huuN| maiMne sirpha kahA ki prema gambhIra hai| usane sunakara merI tarapha gusse se dekhA, aura bolA ki vaha saba jhUTha hai| maiMne jAnanA cAhA, "kyA matalaba ?" uttara meM usane kAphI kucha khaa| sAtha raha-raha kara DhAlatA aura pItA bhI jAtA thaa| maiM samajhatA hU~ ki atyanta sahaja-bhAva se vaha bhUla gayA ki pI vaha akelA hI rahA hai / mujhase usa sambandha meM anurodha kI rakSA bhI nahIM cAha rahA hai| usakI bAta se maiMne pariNAma nikAlA ki vaha yU0 pI0 ke usa dUra ke kasbe meM khuda ho pAyA hai / lekina bheMTa nahIM pA sakA hai| premikA ke mAtA-pitA ne use pahacAnane se inkAra kara diyA hai / premikA ke sambandha meM kaha diyA gayA hai ki usakI tabIyata ThIka nahIM hai|

Page #204
/ pyAra kA tarka 166 tIna-roja gAMva meM hara taraha ke prayatna karake bhI vaha kisI taraha kA darzana yA sandeza pAne meM bhI saphala nahIM huaa| Akhira lauTa kara kalakatte ke apane Dere meM paira rakhatA hai to pAtA hai ki pahale kI taraha kA hI suvAsita prema-patra usakI pratIkSA para hai / usameM darzanakI lAlasA hai; apanA samarpaNa karane kA avasara pAne kI sAdha, aura kahA gayA hai ki tumhArA usa taraha sIdhe ghara para AnA ThIka nahIM thA, aura isa taraha tumane hamAre prema ke mArga meM kucha kaThinAI hI paidA kI hai, ityaadi-ityaadi| ___ kumAra ne pUchA, "aba batAo mujhe kyA karanA cAhie ?" / ___ maiM vivAhita AdamI hU~, bAla-baccedAra huuN| dina vaha mujhe bhUle nahIM haiM, jaba vivAha na huA thA aura prema kA sambandha sirpha aise strItva se thA, jisameM kisI taraha bhI mAtRtva na ho aura vaha apsarA ke nRtya kI bhA~ti kevala bhAva kI bhaMgimA se pUrNa ho| lekina aba bAla-baccedAra hokara meM usa kumAra-hRdaya ko kyA kahatA / isase ekAeka meM kucha vismita muskurA-kara hI raha gayA / sIdhA kucha uttara na de skaa| usane kahA, "batAte kyoM nahIM ho ? aise prazna para mujhe kyA karanA cAhie ? hatyA para kyA mujhe doSa laga sakatA hai ?" "nahIM, doSa nahIM laga sktaa| para tuma vaha kAma kara jo nahIM sakate / " usane bar3e tIkhe bhAva se mujhe dekhA / usakI nigAha kI gaharI anAsthA dekhakara merA marma chU gayA / maiMne kahA, "kumAra ! nahIM, hatyA bhI tuma nahIM karoge aura vivAha bhI tuma nahIM kroge|" sunakara usane mujhe dekhA / vaha avizvasta thA aura aprasanna / tanAva usakI dRSTi meM spaSTa thaa| kucha dera jaise vaha yatna se apane ko sAdhe rahA / thA vaha apane Ape meM, para jaise kisI kSaNa vaha pApA usake hAtha se chUTa sakatA hai / maiMne kahA, "aAmo uTho, cleN|"

Page #205
200 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga] bolA, "...kyA ?" maiMne kahA, "dekhate nahIM, yahA~ bAteM kaise ho sakatI haiM ?" jaise aba use bhAna huA ki vaha eka pablika-resTaroM meM hai aura resTaraoN khule bAz2Ara meM hai| usane jhapakatI-sI nigAha se cAroM ora dekhA, bolA, "ThIka hai, abhI calatA huuN|" kahakara gilAsa khIMcA, zarAba milAI aura eka ghUTa gaTaka kara bolA, "tuma yahI vizvAsa karate ho ki meM nahIM kara sakatA; lekina maiM kara sakatA huuN|...vh bhI zAyada yahI samajhatI hai|"-khkr vaha z2arA ha~sA aura phira kahA, "lekina maiM kara sakatA huuN|" bhauMheM usakI tana gaI-"kyA samajhate ho, maiM maz2Ara banane ke lie hU~...tamAzA banane ke lie hU~ ? nahIM, vaha kumAra aba maiMne usakI bAhoM meM hAtha DAlA, kahA, "uTho / " aura vaha AsAnI se uTha gayA aura mere sAtha claa| maiMne phira koI usa se bAta nahIM kii| TaiksI lekara bekAma idhara-udhara ghumAyA ki kucha havA lage aura vaha halakA ho, para kisI bhI aura bAta meM usane dilacaspI nahIM lI, gumasuma banA rahA aura kisI bhI ora khiMcane se mAno inkAra karatA ho / Akhira vahA~ bhAkara, jahA~ maiM ThaharA thA, maiMne kumAra se pUchA, "kumAra, tuma kyA cAhate ho ?" ____usane pUchA ki batAyo ki yaha saba patra jhUThe ho sakate haiM ? itane patra ! aura eka-eka unameM "tumane par3he bhI haiN| maiMne kahA, "nahIM, jhUThe kyoM hoMge ?" "tuma kahate ho ki jhUThaM nahIM haiM ?-phira maiM vahA~ cAra roz2a jhaka mArane kyoM gayA ? kyA apane-Apa gayA thA ? phira bhI 'aura tuma kahate ho ki jhUThe nahIM haiM !-suno, aise nahIM calegA / byAha hogA, nahIM to "lekina byAha hokara rhegaa|"

Page #206
pyAra kA tarka 201 maine sthiti dekha kahA, "mujhe to isa vivAha meM koI kaThinAI nahIM diikhtii| lar3akI taiyAra hai, phira mA~-bApa kI bAdhA kyA bar3I bAta hai ! vaha abodha to hai nahIM ?" phira bAta ko bIca meM hI lekara kumAra bolA, "tuma yaha kahate ho ?" usakI A~khoM meM camaka prAgaI / "maiM bhI yahI kahatA huuN| lekina, kaise hogA ?" ____ "kase kyA hogA ?" maiMne kahA, "vaise hogA, jaise vivAha huA karate hai| are, tumhAre yA usake mAM-bApa kA to byAha honA nahIM hai| yA do jAtiyoM meM nahIM honA hai| byAha lar3ake-lar3akI kA hotA hai| jAti kyA mAthe para likhI AtI hai ? kisa soca meM par3e ho ? itane khata haiM / usa bicArI kI mana kI bhI to soco / ghara meM raha kara apanA mana tumhAre pAsa bhejatI hai aura dIvAra-daravAje tor3a kara gA~va-dehAta meM nikala kara tumhAre pAsa nahIM A sakatI to tuma yaha-saba doSa usa para DAlane laga gae ? kyoM kumAra ? yaha tumhArA pyAra hai ? itanI hI tuma meM usase hamadardI hai ?" . ___yahA~ eka bAta kahanA jarUrI hai-vaha yaha ki mujhe batA diyA gayA thA ki lar3akI kA sambandha anyatra ho rahA hai aura kumAra ko yadyapi isakA patA nahIM hai to bhI nirAzA meM ekAdha bAra vaha apanI jAna lene kI koziza kara baiThA hai / aba apanI se jyAdA usakI jAna use pyArI lagane lagI hai ki lI jaay| yaha taba, jaba byAha hara-tarafa se asambhava banA dIkhe / raha-raha kara vaha hara tarapha se sambhava aura agale kSaNa utanA ho asambhava use dIkha pAtA hai aura vaha parezAna hotA hai / __ maiMne kahA, "kyoM, kumAra, bolate kyoM nahIM ? itanA hRdaya-hIna tumhAra pyAra hai ? ki jo itane vizvAsa aura samarpaNa se tuma meM prAne ko taiyAra hai, usako itanA galata samajho ? usako kucha sahAnubhUti na de sako ? ye patra jinameM usane apanA mana nicor3a kara bahA diyA hai, unakA apamAna karo ?"

Page #207
202 janendra kI kahAniyAM [sAtavA~ bhAga] usane A~kha phAr3a kara mujhe dekhA / bolA, "kyA / " maiMne usI dRr3hatA se kahA, "tuma mAnate ho ki tuma use pyAra karate ho ? maiM kahatA hU~ ki yaha jhUTha hai !" 'jhUTha hai !" vaha Aveza meM ho pAyA, bolA, "merA pyAra jhUTha hai !" maiMne aura bhI sakhta ho kara kahA, "aura nahIM to kyA ? nahIM to tuma usakA vizvAsa kyoM nahIM kara sakate ?" bolA, "vahI to maiM cAhatA hai, lekina / " ''lekina kucha nahIM, pyAra meM 'lekina' ko jagaha nahIM hotii| bolo, tuma karate ho pyAra ? binA kisI 'lekina' ke karate ho ?" ___ usane merI ora dekhA / pAveza kI jagaha jaise usakI A~khoM meM pIr3A thii| binA kucha bole, A~kha uThAkara vaha usI taraha kucha dera mujhe dekhatA raha gyaa| maiMne kahA, "suno, jarA apanI aA~kha banda kro|" / usane pA~kha banda nahIM kI aura avizvAsa se mujhe dekhatA rhaa| maiMne kahA, "maiM batAnA cAhatA hU~ ki tuma pyAra nahIM krte| sirpha tamAzA karate ho / z2arA prAkha ko banda kro|" "maiM tamAzA karatA hU~ !" "nahIM to karo banda praaNkh|" usane A~kha banda kii| "donoM hAthoM ko A~khoM ke Upara le lo|" usane vaisA hI kiyaa| aba maiMne kahanA zurU kiyA--"aba dekho...tumhArI preyasI tumhAre sAmane hai ? hai na ? muskarA rahI hai...aura vaha dekho, aba khilakhilAkara ha~sa rahI hai ! usako bhara-pUra dekho, usase sundara kahIM kucha hai ? aMga-aMga dekho, usase kamanIya kahIM kucha ho sakatA hai ? usakI hara bhaMgimA kyA indra-dhanuSa kA tumheM prAbhAsa nahIM detI ? kyA ha~sI usakI dhUpa-sI nahIM

Page #208
pyAra kA tarka 203 hai ? dekhate ho, kyA tuma use hI nahIM cAhate ?...to aba vaha gaI / ... para nahIM, phira dekho, jarA gaura se dekho, muha usakA pIlA hai, aAMkheM khoI haiM, deha dubalI hai sAre meM usa para thakAna putI hai|...sirph peTa bar3A hai| vaha bar3hatA jA rahA hai / usakI A~khoM meM dekho, udAsI hai aura zikAyata hai| sIdhe dekho, zikAyata kisI ora se nahIM hai, vaha tuma se hai| muskarAhaTa nahIM hai, ha~sI nahIM hai, bhaMgimA nahIM hai / kyoM nahIM hai ? kisakI vajaha se nahIM hai ? dekho, kumAra, usakI A~khoM meM sUnApana dekho, thakAna dekho, mujhahiTa dekho, pIlApana dekho...|" usane A~khoM ke Age se hAtha haTA liyA aura maiMne dekhA vaha hakkAbakkA -sA mujhe dekha rahA hai| usa samaya maiMne nirdaya hokara usase kahA, "kyoM, tuma pyAra karate ho ?...use aisA banAne ke lie pyAra karate ho ?" kumAra nayA thaa| kaSTa kI AMkhoM se usane mujhe dekhaa| maiMne kahA, "suno, tuma pyAra nahIM karate, pyAra nahIM jaante|" mAno vaha pIr3A se karAha AyA / "tama-tuma use tumhAre baccoM ko janane kI pIr3A denA cAhate ho ?...aura usako pyAra kahate ho ?" usakI A~kheM baMdha AIM aura eka zabda usake muha se na nikala skaa| maiMne kahA, "usane tumheM apanA mana diyA hai, para tuma usase bacce cAhate ho aura tumhAre pyAra ko isameM zarma nahIM AtI, kyoM ?" mAno kumAra meM se usakI buddhi hara gaI ho| mAno saba usameM se sutakara sUkha gayA ho| __ maiMne kahA, "agara tuma mAnate ho ki tuma meM pyAra hai aura svArtha nahIM hai / tuma meM khUna hai aura vaha sarda nahIM hai, javAna hai, to tuma eka kAma kro| jo tumhAre pAsa kImatI-se-kImatI hai, usakI bheMTa lekara jAproge aura kahoge ki tuma pyAra karate ho, isI se usake byAha meM

Page #209
jainendra kI kahAniyAM [sAtavA~ bhAga AzIrvAda dene Ae ho| yaha pyAra hogaa| aura tuma isako samajhanA cAhate ho|" vaha sacamuca javAna thA aura usako sudha-budhaH kisI bAta kI na thii| maiMne kahA ki yaha lo, aura kahane ke sAtha patroM kA baNDala usake sAmane kiyA / "kyA isase pyArA tumhAre pAsa kucha hai? zAyada na ho to ise hI le jAnoge ? dekara use abhaya doge aura sadA ke lie AzvAsana doge| pyAra hogA to tuma yahI kroge| nahIM karoge to mujhase suno ki pyAra na thA, vaha sirpha calatA bhAva thaa|" meM khar3A ho paayaa| kahA, "lo aba yaha apanI cIz2a sambhAlo aura jaano|" usa samaya usase aura kucha bhI nahIM bnaa| banDala uThA, nIcI nigAha kie vaha calA gyaa| bAta AI-gaI huI / kaI barasa bAda kumAra ke jeThe bhAI se milanA huA, jo mere sahapAThI rahe the| unakI Ayu meM bahuta antara thA aura vaha kumAra ke lie pitA-sarIkhe the| maiMne pUchA, "kumAra kA kyA hAla hai ?" mAlUma huA, bahuta acchA hAla hai / ghara-gRhasthI hai aura do bacce haiN| maiMne prasannatA vyakta kI aura mitra bole, "bhAI zukla, tumane kyA jAdU kiyA ki "kyoM, kyA huA ? zAdI vahIM huI na, jahA~ cAhatA thA ?". "vahI to kahatA hU~" mitra bole, "ki vahA~ nahIM huii| zAyada ho sakatI thI, para kumAra hI na mAnA / Age bar3hakara usane usa kanyA ke anyatra vivAha meM yoga diyaa| usake bAda jahA~ usakI bhAbhI ne usakA

Page #210
pyAra kA tarka sambandha sthira karanA cAhA, vahIM svIkAra kara liyaa| taba se to vaha lar3akA hI badala gayA hai / saca batAno, zukla, kyA bAta huI thI ?" ha~sakara maiMne mitra ko TAlA ki kucha nahIM pyAra kA aura javAnI kA tarka aura hotA hai|

Page #211
vaha ceharA yAda karatA hU~ to cehare eka se adhika haiM jo dhyAna se nahIM utrte| yaha bhI acaraja kI bAta hai ki ve sirfa cehare haiM, caritra nahIM; yAnI unheM jAnane kA maukA nahIM paayaa| jinheM jAnA hai aura bhugatA hai, aise logoM ke cehare mana para utane sAfa nahIM raha gae, unakI yAda itanI sacitra nahIM ho pAtI, jaise unako sameTanA aura juTAnA par3atA hai| aura jo dhyAna se haTate nahIM, ve haiM, jinake sAtha lagabhaga vyavahAra-vartAva kA maukA hI nahIM pAyA / caritra khulatA hai aura dhIre-dhIre khulatA hai| caritra jaba sAmane hotA hai to ceharA ojhala hone lagatA hai| usake mukAbale ceharA kholatA hai, kabhI khuda pUrI taraha nahIM khultaa| isalie hama apanI tarapha se jitanA cAheM usameM DAla de sakate haiN| prema cehare se hotA hai, jJAna se nahIM / yahA~ ullekha maiM usa cehare kA karU~gA jo sabako hI eka umra meM dIkhatA hai| pandrahaveM varSa meM maiM pAyA huuNgaa| kaccI A~kheM thIM aura dUdhiyA dRSTi / taba duniyA meM cIjeM hI nahIM dIkhatI thIM, sapane bhI dIkhate the / dekhatA kyA hU~ ki ceharA hai, jisa para eka raMga nahIM, pala-pala jisa para raMga pAte aura jAte haiM / nizcaya hI usakA raMga ujalA hai aura gorA hai, aura vahI banA rahatA hai / lekina gorAI meM aneka raMga haiM aura unhIM kI chAyAe~ 206

Page #212
vaha ceharA 207 bhAgatI-sI usa cehare para laharAtI rahatI haiN| dUra se dekhatA hai, pAsa jA nahIM sktaa| ceharA kabhI muskarAtA hai, kabhI ha~satA hai aura kabhI jaise sirpha vismita pratIkSA meM sUnA hI rahatA hai| usakA varNana nahIM ho sakatA / usa cehare para avayavoM ko alaga se dekhanA muzkila hai| saba sAtha, eka hI jhalaka meM dIkhatA hai| usakI AkRti nahIM dI jA sktii| AkAra-prakAra hai, para ceharA vaha usameM samApta nahIM hai| apane prabhAva meM bhI vaha dIkha AtA hai| maiM maiTrika kI taiyArI meM hU~ aura vilAyata kI patrikAoM meM jhA~kane kA adhikAra pA gayA hU~ / dekhatA hU~ ki unameM kitanI hI sundariyoM ke citra haiM / kintu mujha se pUchie to saba eka usI cehare ke haiN| koI sundaratA usa cehare se bAhara ho nahIM sktii| jahA~ sundara hai, vahIM vaha ceharA hai / isIlie usa cehare kI prAkRti-prakRti nizcita nahIM hai| mAnuSI nahIM, vaha devI hai| kisI parI kI mUrata kabhI rekhAoM se ghirI nahIM ho sakatI, apane Asa-pAsa ko apanepana se vaha mukharita kiye rahatI hai, isalie usake sAtha vaha tatsama hotI hai| usakA zarIra sapane kA hai, aura prosa, aura havA kaa| maiM baiThA hU~, baiThA par3ha rahA huuN| kyA par3ha rahA hU~ ? mAlUma nhiiN| par3he jA rahA huuN| koI prAyA, koI jhAMkA, koI gayA, lekina maiM par3ha rahA huuN| vaha koI mAM ke pAsa phuNcaa| vahAM se eka sAtha khilakhilAhaTa uTha kara laharAtI vyApa gii| lekina imtihAna maiTrika kA hai aura mujhe par3hanA hai| kitAba meM maiMne aA~kha gAr3a rakhI / mA~ ke pAsa se khilakhilAhaTa ke bAda kisI kI bAteM AIM, lekina mere kAna banda the| ' "rAnI, kahA~ hai terI kApI ?" "kApI ?" "hA~, usI meM to DijAina the|" "usa kamare meM hai|" "to jA ke le praa|" .

Page #213
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga ] koI AyA mere kamare meM; lekina mujhe imtihAna ke sivAya kisI ko dekhanA na thA / lekina koI A rahA hai / calatA huA nahIM tiratA huA A rahA hai / pA~va haiM para dharatI ko ve nahIM chUte / adhara meM ve Apa hI Apa calate haiM / "uI / " 208 isa "uI" para maiMne Upara dekhA thA / mere dekhane para 'uI' huI, kaha nahIM sakatA / para gorA raMga vaha, dekhate-dekhate sindUriyA huA aura ceharA khama khA gayA / maiMne imtihAna ko apane mana meM A~kha DAla kara kasa ke bA~dha lenA cAhA; lekina vahA~ vaha ceharA utaratA jA pahu~cA thA / pandrahaveM barasa kI bAta hai, Aja pacapanavA~ cala rahA hai| cAlIsa barasa ho gaye / hara barasa meM dina 365 hote haiM / para usa dina bhItara pahu~cA vaha ceharA, Aja taka vahA~ se bAhara nahIM ho sakA hai / na raMga usakA badalA hai, na rUpa / lekina vaha raMga-rUpa kyA hai, meM kaha nahIM sktaa| lekina Apa meM se kisane vaha nahIM dekhA ? apane pandrahaveM meM nahIM, to jarUra usake AsapAsa Apane usa cehare ko dekhA hai / meM pUchU to Apa hI kyA batAiyegA ki vaha kyA hai ! sabhI apane samaya use dekhate haiM, lekina kyA koI usako bA~dha pAtA hai ? 'rAnI' usakA nAma thA / nAma dUsarA ho kyA sakatA hai / par3osa meM apane se lagA huA usakA ghara thA / imtihAna huA aura meM pAsa ho gyaa| do mahIne ke lie idhara-udhara pahAr3oM kI saira karatA phirA / aba kAleja khuleMge aura "pharsTa iyara" meM dAkhila honA hogA / soca liyA ki usa par3osa meM nahIM rahU~gA / bhalA kaise rahA jAegA ? dUra kAle pAnI ke kisI kAleja meM calA jAU~gA / irAdA pakkA karake ghara lauttaa| jUna kA mahInA sarakane ko thA / usa sAla bAdala jaldI ghumar3anA zurU ho gae the| kar3e tApa ke bAda Ude kAle bAdala raha-rahakara Upara AsamAna meM

Page #214
vaha ceharA 206 A ghirate aura maiM, makAna kI timaMjilI chata para bAdaloM kI AgavAnI para binA Daine-mAre, samatola ur3atI huI cIloM ko dekhane Upara A phuNctaa| vizvAsa mAniye, cIloM ko hI dekhtaa| nahIM, nahIM, dekhatA usa cehare ko, jo aksara pAsa vAlI chata para kabhI pharza para jhuke, kabhI sAmane ke sUne meM Taka lagAye aura kabhI umar3atI-ghumar3atI ghaTAoM meM lIna yahA~ se vahA~ DolatA rahatA / usa samaya usa cehare para kucha na hotA, na ha~so, na muskAna / eka bhIgI udAsI usa para putI hotii| eka gaharA anamanApana, jAne kaisI maTamailI syAhI meM usa para likhA hotaa| lekina maiM kahatA hU~ ki yaha maiM dekhatA nhiiN| dekhatA thA to binA A~kha dekhatA thaa| aA~kha barabasa kabhI uThatI to tatkSaNa maiM use girA letaa| rAnI bhI nahIM dekhatI thI, kyoMki vaha bhI uThatI A~kha ko uThA na pAtI, ki tabhI girA letii| maiMne binA ThIka taraha dekhe usa udAsI kI pranamanI syAhI ke akSaroM kI bhASA ko par3hanA aura samajhanA caahaa| para akSara kho jAte the, bhASA lipa-puta. jAtI thI, aura artha hAtha pAne se raha jAtA thaa| ___ sahasA dekhA ki jUr3A khula gayA hai / prof ! jaise saba-kucha una bAloM meM Dhaka gyaa| sira se lekara er3I...lekina nahIM, er3I bAkI rahI ; kyoMki una er3iyoM ke bala vaha TahalatI rhii| una er3iyoM ke Age pA~voM meM u~galiyA~ hoMgI, lekina ve u~galiyA~ mujhe dIkhI na. thIM; kyoMki ve merI ora na thIM, aura sAr3I kI kinAra meM vaha chipa-chipa jAtI thiiN| calatecalate dekhA, vaha eka khaTole para baiTha gaI / baiTha kara kitAba khola lI jo aba taka banda thii| kitAba khulI ki unakI nigAha..."hAya rAma !".... phaurana jhuka kara koyalA lekara chata ke pharza para maiM elajabra kA savAla nikAlane meM laga gyaa| savAla behada, behada muzkila thaa| avazya vo trikAla meM hala nahIM ho sktaa| kyoMki ina cAlIsa barasoM ke antarAla meM usakI kaThinAI kisI bhI ora se aba taka tanika kama nahIM ho pAI hai|

Page #215
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [sAtavA~ bhAga ]. lekina yaha kyA ? yaha kauna hai ? patA nahIM meM hisAba ke hala meM hU~ / dUsarI kaMkar3I gardana ke pAsa Akara lgii| maiMne sira Upara uThAyA / savAla behala rahA, aura maiMne dekhA, kahIM koI nahIM / ceharA kitAba meM gar3A hai, aura bAloM meM DhakA hai| lekina maiM yoM hAra na sakA / kaMkar3I nizAnA sAdha kara pheNkii| Tapa se aina kitAba ke bIca meM vaha pdd'ii| ceharA vaha uThA, car3hI tyorI zrora tanI bhaveM / cunautI aba mujha meM se ha~sa par3I / maiM cehare kI ora muskarAyA / 210 udhara bhaveM aura bAMkI par3IM, tyauriyA~ kasIM / maiMne elajabra ke savAla ke hala meM lage koyale ke Tukar3e ko uThA kara cehare kI bheMTa ke lie pheNkaa| vaha rAnI ke cehare ko, uThe muMha ko na pA sakA, jAkara rAnI ke caraNoM meM par3A / tyauriyA~ haTa gaIM, bhaveM khula gaIM, bAloM ko usane pIche kiyaa| hAtha haTA to dekhA, chipA cA~da bAdaloM meM se aba eka sAtha ujalA hokara ha~sa AyA hai / vaha ceharA jaldI jhukA nahIM, phokI muskarAhaTa meM merI mora muskarAtA uThA rahA aura meM bhI elajabrA bhUla gayA / zraura usa cehare koTaka bhara dekhatA hI rahA / ... phira yAda par3atA hai, eka tIkhI prAvAja "rAnI, jagarAnI, pro jaggo !" rAnI ne jaise sunA nahIM / cehare para muskarAhaTa phailI rahI aura vaha usI taraha rahA / "o jaggo kI baccI ! kahA~ mara gaI, kambakhta ?" ceharA muskarAtA hI rhaa| muskAhaTa kisa ora thI ? chatoM para koI aura na thA / Upara bAdala the, jo pAnI se bhare the prora bATa meM khar3e the / maiMne idhara-udhara dekhA / yaha ajasra muskarAhaTa kA dAna kyA mujha nija ke lie hai ? maiM kRtArthatA se jaise nahA prAyA, lekina usa pandraha

Page #216
hai vaha ceharA 211 varSa kI avasthA meM bhI maiM anubhava kara sakA ki maiM to nitAnta nagaNya upalakSa haiN| isa nirapekSa aura mlAna-manda smiti kA arghya to isa digdiganta vyApI zUnya ko samarpita kiyA jA rahA hai jo sabako lIla jAtA hai aura hama jaise prANiyoM ke sukha athavA duHkha ke prati eka sAtha A sakatA hai| __ mAlUma huA cIkha bar3hatI jA rahI hai aura pAsa AtI jA rahI hai"mo jaggo...kambakhta...kalamuhI..." maiM ghabarA rahA hU~; lekina ceharA merI ora ha~sa rahA hai / dhamAke ke sAtha eka sthUla-kAyA praur3hA chata para prAvirbhUta huii| jAna par3A cehare ko koI adhIratA nahIM huii| usakI muskarAhaTa mlAna hokara bhI amlAna thii| usa cehare ne uThA kara merI mora apane donoM hAtha jodd'e| unase maiMne saMketa pAyA ki meM pUjA lU aura tatkSaNa bidA ho jAU~ / saMketa acUka thaa| ullaMghana ho nahIM sakatA thaa| maiM uThA aura tejI se eka ora saraka gyaa| "rAMDa, kulaboDana, satyAnAsana, kisase mA~kha lar3A rahI hai ?" saba-kucha kAnoM ne sunA, lekina A~khoM ne bhI binA udhara dekhe dekha / liyA ki praur3hA abhibhAvikA ne usake khule sira ke bAloM ko eka paMje kI muTThI meM pakar3a kara cehare ko DhakelanA paura latiyAnA zurU kara diyA hai, jo ki spaSTa Avazyaka aura ucita kArya hai| phira kyA huprA ? vahI huA jo honA cAhie / . yAnI vaizya aura khatrI jAtiyoM meM sambandha nahIM honA cAhie thA, nahIM huA / khatrI kanyA kA sambandha khatrI jAti meM hI honA cAhie thA; aura tadanusAra vidhAna aura siddhAnta kI rakSA meM zIghratA ke sAtha vyavasthA kara dI gaI / vaha ceharA sadA-sadA avataraNa letA hai, nizcaya hI vaha eka-rUpa nahIM hai, eka-raMga nahIM hai / para sadaiva vaha ekAtmA hai| niyukta samaya para vaha sabako dIkhatA hai aura zAyada ghara-ghara hotA hai / vaha ceharA A~khoM ke

Page #217
212 janendra kI kahAniyAM [sAtavAM bhAga] bhItara pahuMce binA nahIM rahatA aura vahA~ se phira vaha miTanA nahIM jAnatA / abhI to merA varSa pacapanavAM hai / zatAyu bhI hU~, to kyA vaha hila sakegA ? Diga sakegA ? nahIM, bhagavAn ne cAhA to vaha sambhava nahIM hai| na Apa meM se kisI ke sAtha, Apa kitanA hI cAheM zAyada vaha sambhava bana skegaa|