Aptavani 09

Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Mahavideh Foundation

Page 37

Aptavani-9
Aptavani-9
Dadashri: Then how else? Does he not prod you ever? Otherwise, there is nothing but baggage of obstinacy everywhere A person without obstinacy is considered straight (sarad) and flexible; he can be molded in any shape or form.
Questioner: Do men ever admit to their obstinacy (aadayee)? He will only know his obstinacy when his wife says something to him.
Dadashri: Women too are very obstinate. 'We are not talking about just men. It is only when both parents are so, that children turn out the way they do. And it is men who make the women obstinate. Women are not obstinate by nature: they are not born obstinate. Men are obstinate from their very birth. Even in the womb, they jab their mothers with their elbows. If the mother happens to eat something spicy, he jabs his mother from the inside with his arms and legs. Women are not born obstinate like men.
You have to see your own obstinacy
People talk about obstinacy (aadayee) in others as if they have got rid of their own obstinacy. One should not make statements such as, 'He is obstinate!
Questioner: Dada, is it my obstinacy if I say, 'he is very obstinate?
Dadashri: That is the greatest obstinacy. Questioner: So we have to see our own obstinacy?
Dadashri: Then whose? If you point out obstinacy (aadayee) in someone else, he will immediately become an adversary.
Questioner: Many times, we do not even recognize our obstinacy, in fact, many times our obstinacy appears as straight forwardness to us.
Dadashri: You would not recognize it. You have to enter
deep within your self to see it. You have to adopt an impartial attitude to see obstinacy.
When someone says, 'Why are you being obstinate?' you respond by saying, Just look at him! He is a fool. Am I being obstinate or he is being obstinate?, on the contrary the man is telling you to investigate, so then you should. People do not look at their own obstinacy and they go looking for obstinacy in others. Why do people not accuse me of being obstinate? If they were to see obstinacy in me, they would not refrain from telling me so. The world will tell you what it sees.
When obstinacy leaves... Some men tell their wives, 'If you make the tea, I will not drink it'Oh! ho ho! Then whose tea will you drink? Exercising his role as a husband (dhani; owner), he intimidates his wife. What does he tell her? 'You ruined the tea, so I will not drink tea again if you make it. He intimidates the poor woman. He becomes awkward and obstinate. So much obstinacy! That is why there is so much suffering!
Therefore, obstinacy (aadayee) is the obstacle, not attachment (moha). A person may enjoy attachment (moha) once or twice but the third time around he will get tired of it.
What happens if someone serves you a good meal with an upset and a non-communicative (risavu; sulking) face? You will not like it, will you? Would you not say, 'The heck with your meal'? Even if someone gives you diamonds with an upset and non-communicative (risavu) face, will you not say, 'Keep your diamonds to yourself? So what is worth more, diamonds or an upset and non-communicative (risavu) face? Our people will not accept a diamond if given by someone with such a face. People of foreign countries will eat a meal even if their spouse is upset and non-communicative (risavu) but in India, the wife will get into trouble for doing that Nevertheless, women in India will not behave this way. It does not matter in the foreign