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abhimaan (ego with 'my-ness') about his home, people will still say that this is his ego.
It is not wrong to have an ego. Ego is just to claim to be what one is not. That is the only error of the ego, nothing more.
Now what is maan (pride)? It is when one wears nice clothes but rolls up his sleeves so that people can see a threethousand-rupee watch on his wrist. Then when someone asks, "How are you sheth?' you can clearly see his pride. Maan is "ego with rich materials". He will wear expensive clothes, jewels, etc. That is maan.
Questioner: What is the difference between an ahamkari and a maani person?
Dadashri: An ahamkari (egotistic) person does not have any fear of being insulted (upmaan) whereas a maani (person with pride) does. If a person has pride (maan) then he will be affected by insults (upmaan), but what if he has no pride?
Questioner: But when his ego is broken, will he not feel insulted?
Dadashri: No that is simply called breaking the ego. But only if there is maan, there will be upmaan.
What is abhimaan (pride with 'my-ness')? If a person has possessions, he will tell others about them; that is what we call abhimaan. Everyone does this: people cannot refrain from telling others about their possessions. But when is it considered abhimaan? The ego is there for sure but suppose you are going to a shop and you are in hurry, someone you know stops you, you ask him, 'What is it? I am in a hurry, he will say, "These are my homes, these two buildings and those two buildings are mine.' That is called abhimaan. 'Why are you telling me now, I have to go. Why are you bothering me?' But he is showing abhimaan. He will tell you how good something is even when
you do not ask. What is the reason behind it? He has that abhimaan. It is a different matter if you had asked him, but if he tells you without being asked, it is abhimaan. When he is itching to tell you, it is abhimaan.
Questioner: Is it because of abhimaan one says, "Mine is higher (better than his?'
Dadashri: Yes, it is because of abhimaan. Abhimaan means he gives examples of this is better, this is mine! This is my property; that is my property, this is my car etc. ' so based on this he is trying to say that his is better than others! He does not say it directly. Abhimaan is when one has more than what is necessary and makes a show of it. He believes, 'How happy I am.' Thus he tries to make others feel inferior. This is abhimaan.
So an abhimaani will show off all his possessions, he will even show you his expensive eyeglasses he bought He will say, 'Did you see my glasses?' What am I going to do with your glasses that you keep showing them to me? But he does it to feed his abhimaan. He will also show off his clothes or the shoes he bought. That is abhimaan.
He will go so far as to show off his son-in-law if he is educated and good-looking. He will tell you, 'Come and see my son-in-law.' What is so special about your son-in-law? Everyone has one, what is there to see? But he will say, 'No, you have to meet my son-in-law.' Then when you tell him 'you have found yourself a good son-in-law. What a good looking man!' he is satisfied. Then he will also take you out to dinner. He will say, 'You have to dine with us today. You cannot leave without having something to eat.'
Abhimaan means to exhibit pride (maan) wherever one can. Even if his brother's house is small, he will show it to you. "This is my brother's house, this is my uncle's house and that is my house.' Whenever he tries to show anything big, that is
