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Aptavani-9
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awareness when one is not asleep (spiritually). A robber (kashaya) will not enter if You are aware.
Questioner: So we should be able to 'see' our own faults, should we not?
Dadashri: Yes, they are visible.
Questioner: We should also be able to see the ego (ahamkar), should we not?
Dadashri: That too is visible.
Questioner: So then what is the reason behind one
slipping?
Dadashri: It is the ego that takes away all the 'food'. To take garvaras is to taste the sweetness of doer-ship. It is verily the ego (discharge ego that exists after Gnan) that makes you do everything and makes you slip. It traps you in the taste of doership (garvaras), by telling you 'This is very good, it is very good; people like it.'
Questioner: If one tastes too much of the ego's garvaras, will he fall again?
Dadashri: Of course! It is all nothing but sweetness that one experiences in doer-ship. When someone says, 'I did all this' it produces garva of doer-ship. As long as a person makes money, the sweetness of doer-ship (garvaras) will continue to arise, but when he incurs a loss, what does he say? He will say, 'It was God's wish!' Let go of this foolishness! You claim to be the doer when you were making money and now you are blaming God! When garvaras arises, there is sweetness in it. Wherever you find 'sweetness', know that a beating and suffering is around the corner.
When there is no difference between the bitter and the sweet (insult and praise), then know that Gnan is present. The one who does not differentiate the bitter and the sweet is, and is not affected by either, is the one who has Gnan.
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Aptavani-9
You should not say even a single word to explain or clarify any questions (about Gnan). Let there be casual conversations. Do not think that there is a difference between you and the other person. He talks because 'he' wants to show his superiority and importance (visheshata). And 'he' (the discharge ego) is verily the one who instigates and stirs up all those kashayas. Not a single sentence of 'ours' is uttered with the intent of selfimportance (vishesh bhaav); the words just flow naturally. This is because the speech is a 'record.' (The Gnani has no ownership of the speech that comes out from him). There is no problem once even your speech becomes a 'record' (when you do not have ownership of your speech). There is no problem after your speech becomes a record (when truly all ownership of speech is gone), but as yet it does not come forth as a 'record', does it?
Generally, when two people are talking, you feel like putting your 'two cents' worth. That is not called Gnan. Gnan is not something to be used as a weapon to compete and argue. There should not be any competition. Competitiveness (spardha) is a worldly thing and it will keep you entrenched in
it.
Grace and awareness are different
The kashayas that lie smoldering within will be destroyed as awareness (jagruti) increases. You have to take advantage of this awareness. These external karmas (which present through an external nimit and ignite the kashaya) lie smoldering within but they die through samayik (focused application of the light of the Self during introspective meditation) of events of kashayas that have occurred. However, nothing is guaranteed until one becomes 'tested'-devoid of any reaction to any future situation which would otherwise give rise to kashaya. Such 'test examinations' in life are necessary.
Jagruti is that which 'sees this, that and everything.' That
