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Aptavani-9
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discharge. And what is this ego like? There is already a stock within and a new stock is also flowing in; both get together inside. With us (mahatma), the charging ego is gone and the stock within still remains. The pending stock of the ego within other people (non-Self realized people) is also discharging, but there is also a new charging, hence new filling (creation of new karmas) is taking place simultaneously. For us it is discharging and nothing charges anew. Therefore, the charging ego goes away but the discharge' ego is still there. This discharge ego is the 'I-ness'. Relationship between karma, 'l-ness' and
awareness Questioner: So after Gnan, the 'I-ness' part is considered a discharge?
Dadashri: That is a discharge; it is the karmic stock filled in the last life (bharelo maal). As that stock goes away as it discharges, so will the 'I-ness'
Questioner: So does the 'I-ness' remain on the basis of this baggage?
Dadashri: Yes.
Questioner: So will the 'I-ness go down as the baggage empties?
Dadashri: Yes, the 'I-ness' will go down as the baggage empties. Otherwise, it will not go down by itself. The 'I-ness will end as the reservoir of pending karmas, karmas that remain to be discharged, empty.
Whatever amount of 'I-ness' leaves, that much of it is gone. If only a small amount leaves, it means more of it still remains and if a lot of it leaves then there is relatively little of it left. The greater the awareness (jagruti), the more the I-ness (potapanu) will be removed. The degree of dissolution of I-ness
is in proportion to the level of prevailing awareness (jagruti). If the awareness is greater, then greater and faster is the dissolution of 'I-ness. One's I-ness is slower to go if the awareness is weak.
But You have hundred percent 'I-ness' after attaining this Gnan. If the awareness is strong, then ten percent of I-ness' will instantly go away and if it is weak then only two percent of it will go away.
Questioner: Then a ninety percent of the 'I-ness' will remain, will it not?
Dadashri: Yes. Those with greater awareness have ninety percent remaining and those with lesser awareness will have ninety-eight percent remaining
Questioner: How does the remaining 'I-ness' then go away?
Dadashri: It will come out the next time.
Questioner: So, does the 'I-ness' go away as the udaya karma unfolds?
Dadashri: Yes, but the speed at which it goes away depends on the degree, intensity and strength of the awareness (jagruti). Therefore awareness will increase proportionately by whatever percentage the I-ness' diminishes. Also, potapanu decreases as the jagruti increases.
The Exact Awareness of Separation
Questioner: If awareness prevails as circumstances unfold, then ten percent or two percent of the 'I-ness' has gone away. So what kind of awareness is that? How does the awareness (jagruti) that makes the I-ness diminish, work?
Dadashri: It is the awareness of 'I am Shuddhatma'; it is the awareness of the five Agnas. There is awareness of 'Who is this? Who am I?' There is awareness that the 'one' abusing
