________________
Aptavani-9
437
438
Aptavani-9
Questioner: But Dadaji, we are talking about intoxication, which is subtle (sookshma). It is not ordinarily visible.
Dadashri: Everything is subtle. The owner too is unaware of it.
Questioner: So how is it possible to prevent it from arising?
Dadashri: What do you do in order to prevent the kashaya of anger, pride, deceit and greed from arising? You have to keep awareness that prevents them from arising.
Questioner: How can I know that the intoxication (keyf) has not arisen?
Dadashri: Your face will look attractive. Such a person will look very attractive. Otherwise, everyone looks unattractive. Alas, how is it possible not to know? Can you not tell whether a bunch of spinach is fresh or two days old? It is the same in this case. There is nothing subtle about this is there? You can tell right away by looking at it from the surface. Everyone has the intoxication (keyf) of 'I know,' to a greater or a lesser degree. Only few people become free from it: these people have understood the facts. Beauty (laavanya) will not radiate in the presence of intoxication. It is because of the unawareness (ajagruti) that this intoxication takes place. It will not happen if awareness is present. Wrong things arise out of unawareness (ajagruti) but not so with awareness.
Questioner: Dada what kind of awareness should one maintain when such a mistake (dosh) arises?
Dadashri: It will not arise in the presence of strong awareness (jagruti). This is not awareness at all. If awareness is present, the sapling of intoxication (keys) of 'I know' will never grow. This "plant' of intoxication has sprouted after Gnan. These very plants have grown after Gnan. All those old plants' were destroyed when we gave you this Gnan, but this new
"plant' has sprouted since then. This would not occur in the presence of awareness. Everything has occurred because of unawareness (ajagruti). There are truckloads and truckloads of unawareness and not just unawareness related to one or two mistakes. Such intoxication will crop up where there is tremendous ajagruti at a very gross and superficial level; otherwise it would never arise, how can it?
Questioner: In this matter, what kind of things should we be aware of?
Dadashri: About everything, you must make sure that nothing sprouts.
Questioner: So what kinds of things are included in that?
Dadashri: Do you mean why does it arise in the first place? The fact that it sprouts is unawareness (ajagruti) itself. The awareness lacks by that much. Why should it arise? Why does awareness arise when kashaya occur? Your awareness surfaces even when the other person is doing kashaya. This intoxication (keyf) of 'I know' is more treacherous than kashaya. It is suicidal. It will destroy you. A person will say, 'I know, but am not able to do anything. 'Intoxication of having knowledge?! In the ignorant "Gnan-less' state, there is always the intoxication of the ego of 'I know. But here if intoxication arises after attaining the knowledge of the Self, then how wrong an understanding is that? The intoxication of having Gnan?!
Questioner: Dadaji, kashaya occur because of circumstances. When the kashaya arises, so does the awareness against it. It is not something that remains constantly. Whereas this intoxication of 'I know'. is it something that is constantly there within?
Dadashri: It just keeps growing. You even keep watering it; it is also being watered constantly. There is unawareness (ajagruti) day and night. That is what I call suicidal! Knowing fanyoo) is that when all kinds of intoxications leave.