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Aptavani-9
33
Aptavani-9
Only the 'one' who reacts sees the one who
is upset and non-communicative.
One man told me, "My wife repeatedly becomes very upset and non-communicative (risavu) with me and will not speak to me. 'I told him, 'Who is the one saying 'she is upset and non-communicative'?' It is not 'You'. It is the risad within you, i.e. the 'one' who is inclined to become upset and noncommunicative that is saying she is upset and non-communicative: who is that? It is the one who is the risad' himself that is complaining. It is not You. So 'You' should know' (anvoo) that the one who has reacted and become upset (risad)' is seeing all this. The one who is apt to become upset and noncommunicative (risad) is the one seeing the other person who is upset and non-communicative. The Self 'sees' only the Self. It does not see any other circumstance. Aggravated people see the one who is aggravated. So I told the man, 'It was the wife who was upset and non-communicative, it is not her Self (the Soul within). She is a woman. And the one who has become upset in reaction (risad) is not your Self (Atma). Who is the wife upset and non-communicative (risavu) with? You simply have to see that she is upset and non-communicative towards the one who is himself apt to be sulking (risad). You simply have to see that! You simply have to keep 'seeing
This can bring a solution, can it not? How can you solve it otherwise? Some continue becoming upset and noncommunicative (risavu) and others keep cursing. That is how it is. But the Soul is separate from all these phases, the Soul is not to be found in any of this. What is the basis on which everything is taking place? Everything occurs based on each individual's karma. A person keeps receiving the fruits of his karma, what do 'we' have to do with that? Each person is enjoying the fruits of his karma, what do 'we' have to do with them? That is how this is. If you want to attain the Self, then keep seeing the Self in others, and nothing else is worth seeing.
What is within our understanding? Is there not a difference between your understanding and 'ours '? 'We are not affected by any pain or misery, what is the reason behind this? It is because our' understanding is within 'us'. 'We do not drag in any ignorance (agnan) from outside, whereas others drag in worldly understanding (agnan) from others. What do we have to do with others? Everything is under the control of vyavasthit (scientific circumstantial evidences). It is a karmic account. Nothing is going to be changed in this account. Can any changes in the 'book' of karmic accounts be made from the outside? Then what is all this fuss about? And if the wife is upset and non-communicative (risavu), only the one who reacts (the risad) to this can see her as being so. The Self would not see the one who becomes upset and non-communicative. Only the one prone to be upset in reaction (risad) will see it as such. The risad is the one seeing the one who is upset. Otherwise, how can one see the one who is upset? Do you think people who come to me do not become upset and non-communicative? But I do not see anyone as being upset. Will you not have to account and arrive at the correct understanding for all this? Do you not have to account for all this? The unique method of vitaragata (the state
of non-attachment) Questioner: How do you deal with someone who becomes upset and non-communicative (risavu) with you?
Dadashri: With complete vitarag-bhaav; complete nonattachment from within, along with the deep inner intent of salvation of that person. 'We do not have any inner insistence of any kind. There is no intention of appeasing anyone either. If 'we' feel that in trying to appease the other person it will have a contrary effect, then 'we' would not say anything. If it is going to have a positive effect, then 'we' will say a few words to him, 'Sir, 'we' made a mistake, please be patient. We are all prone to mistakes.' 'We' would explain things to him in this way and
