Aptavani 09

Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Mahavideh Foundation

Page 82

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you correct it thus: just behave as if that you never saw anything in the first place? It is all already there 'underground', but the father worries, 'What if this were to happen?' He becomes possessed with ghosts of suspicion, which will not leave him alone, the whole nightlong. These ghosts will not let him go for months on end. Therefore, it is wrong to have suspicions.
Suspicion? No, take care of her
A father of four girls had come to me for advice. He said, 'I have four daughters going to college and it is natural to be concerned. What should I do about it? What should I do about these four girls? What if they get on the wrong path?' I told him, 'But they will not improve by you being suspicious.'Do not be suspicious. When they come home, sit down with them and talk to them properly, be friends with them. Talk to them about their likes and dislikes. Do not be preoccupied with your job and making money. Take care of your daughters needs first. They love it when you eat, drink and talk with them. The love you have for them is superficial and that is why they seek love elsewhere.
Then I asked him if he would throw his daughter out of the house if she fell in love with someone and stayed out late at night? He tells me, 'Yes, I will tell her to get out. I would not let her come into the house. 'I told him, 'Do not ever do that. Where would she go in the middle of the night? Where would she take shelter? You should tell her, "Come. Sit. Go to sleep' There is a rule that you have already suffered damage but now just make sure that you do not suffer double the damage. The girl had already done harm by her actions but it would be a disaster if you were to throw her out of the house. When you have incurred a loss of a hundred thousand dollars, would you do something to reduce the loss or increase it? Should there not be a solution for the loss you are incurring? So do not incur any more loss. Let her go to sleep and the next day explain to her that she should come home on time and that it makes you very
anxious when she comes home late; it makes you so anxious that you may get a heart attack. You have to reason with her one way or another.' He then realized the consequences of what would happen to her if he were to kick her out. Other people would take advantage of her and that would be the end. If you throw her out at one o'clock in the morning, how helpless would that poor girl become? Should you not think about what people of this time cycle are like?
So do not be suspicious even if your daughter ever comes home late. How much benefit is there in getting rid of your suspicions? What is the point of worrying unnecessarily? Nothing is going to change in one lifetime. Do not cause your sons and daughters any unnecessary misery. You have to tell them, 'Daughter, you should not come late when you go out. Our family is very honorable so it does not suit us. So do not come home late.' Talk to them and reason with them this way. But you cannot afford to worry about who she may be going out with and what she must be doing. And when she comes home at midnight you still have to tell her, "Daughter, this should not happen again.'You do not know where she will go if you throw her out. Do you understand that? Where is the gain in it if you do? Is it not better to have the least amount of harm? That is why I have told everyone to let their daughters come into the house even if they come home late; do not throw them out. Strong headed people will throw them out, will they not? How strange is the current eral How anxiety filled this era is? This is the Kaliyug, so sit down with them and explain things to them. Free from kashayas on the path of moksha
So what 'we' tell you to do is settle your files with equanimity. These are all files. They are not your daughter or wife. These daughters and wives are all 'files'. Settle matters with all your files with equanimity. When you become paralyzed, no one will stand by you. On the contrary, they will get irritated if it goes on for long time. Even the person with paralysis will