Aptavani 09

Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Mahavideh Foundation

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Aptavani-9
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keep a suspicious eye for one day but does it have to be everyday? To keep a suspicious eye the next day is aashanka. Should there not be an end to it? Whatever vision of suspicion was employed, should it not end? All that is aashanka. Now what is kushanka? If she is going out with a boy, the father will have all kinds of kushanka (negative phases in suspicion) in his mind. Now it may or may not be true. These kinds of suspicions make human beings miserable.
In this world it is not worth harboring suspicion (shanka); it is worth being aware (jagruti). Suspicion is taking on unnecessary misery upon one's self. It eats away a person on the inside, day and night. It is necessary to be aware. What is the point of fretting unnecessarily when it is not under your control? Or if you have any understanding in this regard, then stop the girls from going to college. To this statement, the father will claim, 'Who would marry her if she is not educated?' He is not happy this way and he is not happy the other way. Look here you! Take one position and come to a closure. Alternatively, yet another solution is to go around with the daughter day and night! Go with her to college and sit with her in the class. If the professor asks, 'Why do you accompany your daughter?' then tell him, 'Sir, I keep having suspicions about her and so if I stay with her, I will no longer have suspicions. 'People will call him a stupid fool. The daughter herself will say he is a little crazy.
Therefore, I am telling you not to be suspicious of your daughters. There are people who are not suspicions about their daughter. Even if they have seven daughters, there is nothing of the sort. They are carefree.
They have other kinds of suspicions: 'My partner is definitely taking a few rupees home everyday from the business.' He has this kind of suspicion, it's because he loves money. Suspicion for one day is called shanka (suspicion) and suspicion that is done over and over again, is called aashanka.
The unawareness of moha (illusionary
attachment) A person may not have suspicions towards his daughters because he has moha (attachment due to illusion; moha or raag) for them. One can never see a mistake or a wrongdoing where there is illusion (moha). The whole world takes a beating due to this moha. Every parent will say, 'My daughters are good girls. 'So that must mean that the current cycle is that of Satyug (an era of virtue and morality)! Any parent you ask will say the same thing, so this must be Satyug, don't you think? And then they will say, 'Other people's daughters are unchaste. They even say this.
Questioner: And nowadays if one says anything about his daughter, he will come down on you.
Dadashri: You can never say that. He will come down hard on you and curse you. You can never say anything to anyone. It is good that parents have attachment (raag) towards their children. They do not see any faults in their children because of their attachment and yet they will see faults in other people's children. It is good that they do not see faults in their daughters; it keeps them at peace for the time being, and they will worry about other things when the time comes.
Unconstructive criticism One man told me, "My daughters are very sensible and wise.' I told him, "That is very nice.' Then he started to criticize other girls so I told him, 'Why are you criticizing other girls? Other people will criticize you if you criticize them.' He told me there was nothing in him that warranted criticism. So I told him, 'I will show you something, but you must remain silent.' Then I showed him his daughter's books and everything in it. He was shocked and so I told him, Just keep quiet. Do not criticize anyone. I knew all this about you and yet why did I not say a word to you? Why do I remain quiet even when you are being