________________
266
Aptavani-9
[5]
Maan (False pride, self-importance, the need
to be recognized and respected) : Garva (Ego of doer-ship) : Garavata (Wallowing in
worldly pleasures) Maan without mamata :
pride without 'my-ness' You can ask the Gnani Purush anything. This Akram Vignan is such that you can ask anything. You ask anything about the forty-five Agamas (Scriptures of Jain religion) or the Vedantas (the end of the Vedas, ancient scriptures of the Hindu teachings). This Akram Vignan is considered one of the greatest wonder; it is the eleventh wonder (spiritual) that has occurred naturally. Here, all your work is attained within an hour.
Questioner: When you had so many good karmas from your past life, why did Gnan manifest in you at such an old age? Why not earlier?
Dadashri: It is like this, the gnan-avarniya karma i.e. knowledge obscuring karma can only break once the mohaniya karma - karma that is delusive and causes attachment, comes to an end. When is the knowledge-obscuring veil (gnanavarniya karma) destroyed? It is when the mohaniya karma comes to an end. What moha (attachment due to illusion) was there within 'us'? 'We' did not have moha for anything, not for money, sex or anything. The only moha was that for maan (pride, the need to be recognized and respected).
Questioner: Yes, can you explain that to us please?
Please explain in detail, your inner state prior to Gnan manifesting within you in 1958.
Dadashri: Yes, before Gnan manifested in me amidst the kashayas of krodha-maan-maya-lobh and raag-dwesh (the inner enemies of anger-pride-attachment-greed and attachmentabhorrence respectively), the force of maan was the most dominant. The rest of the kashayas were alive under the reign and domain of maan (pride). It was the reign of the maan and not of abhimaan (excessive pride). Abhimaan is maan with mamata, i.e. this excessive pride is associated with a sense of 'my-ness. The pride that I had was without mamata (my-ness).
Questioner: What is pride without my-ness (mamata) like?
Dadashri: 'I only' 'I am something 'I am something! that is what it is.
Questioner: That is called mamata (my-ness).
Dadashri: No mamata is something different. 'This is mine is extra pride (abhimaan). "This is mine. What do you think of it? It is mine,' that is extra pride. The extra weight that is given to the T' is pride maan. It is natural to have pride; there is nothing wrong with that. Extra pride (abhimaan) indicates attachment. Extra pride is the display of my-ness (mamata). Extra pride will be there only if there is my-ness (mamata). Myness was hardly existent in me. Only this pride of 'I am something' was there and it was all wrong. One does not gain or attain anything from it. He simply has the belief of 'I am something
I am talking about my life before attaining Gnan. The other kashayas of anger-deceit-greed were subservient to this pride. There was no trace of mamata from the very beginning. The pride was a belief only in the mind
So he (Ambalal) used to think a lot of himself, there is no
