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one like me in the entire world. Behold! What he thought about himself! He had nothing to speak of; no wealth, only ten-vigha land (four acres) and a home. Besides these, he had nothing but he went around in arrogance thinking he was the king of the Charotar villages (northern Gujarat). This is because people of the surrounding six villages had put me on a pedestal as a 'bachelor-with-dowry'. Pay the dowry and the bachelor would agree to marry! A bachelor from these six villages could demand any amount of dowry before he would agree to marry. These kinds of comments had fed much arrogance in this mind. And something in addition, was brought forth from the past life, which supported such arrogance in the mind.
My elder brother was a very proud man. I used to call my elder brother a maani (one laden with heavy self importance and pride) and he accused me of the same. So one day do you know what he told me? 'I have never seen a maani like you." I asked him, 'Where do you see the maan (self-importance) in me?' and he replied, 'in everything you do.'
So then I investigated within and I could see that my maan surfaced everywhere and that was the very thing that had gnawed away at me. Let me tell you what I did to gain respect. Everyone used to address me as, 'Amba-lal-bhai' (the term 'bhai' is a form of respect, similar to Mr. or sir); no one would call me just 'Ambalal'. And so I became accustomed to being addressed as 'Ambalal-bhai'. Now because I had a lot of pride, I protected that pride. If someone was in a hurry and failed to call me by my full name, was it such a terrible thing to do? How can a person say such a long name in a hurry?
Questioner: But you have that expectation, don't you?
Dadashri: Then I weighed the incident in my mind. 'He called me Ambalal? Who does he think he is? Could he not say Ambalal-bhai?' Now he (Ambalal) had some land in the village and nothing else but what did he think of himself? 'I am an
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'Amin' from the six-village of Vakad-rightful demanders of dowry from the bride's parents.' Don't we also have 'Desais' of Vakad? Even they think a fat lot of themselves, too!
Now if someone failed to address me as 'Ambalal-bhai', I would not be able to sleep. I would be restless the whole night. What was I going to get out of that? Was it going to sweeten my mouth? How selfish can a man be? Such selfishness has no taste, yet one assumes it and takes it on due to societal influence (lokasangnya). People elevated him - Ambalal; they put him on a pedestal and they believed he was praiseworthy too. Hey! What are you going to do with what people think and believe?
Just because the cows and the buffalos look at you and wag their ears back and forth, does it mean they are looking upon you with respect or they are admiring you? This is how everything is. You might think they are watching you with respect. It is simply in your head. But really everyone is caught up in his own miseries; everyone is caught up in his own worries. No one has time for you.
It was all for maan
I had told everyone, 'Come and get your work done from me, whatever it may be; whether it is advice, consolation or whatever else. I will also give you money if I have some. You do not have to do my work but I will do yours. This way you will not have any fear or uncertainties from my end because you do not have to do anything for me. If I am going home after a late night movie and happen to stop by your house, you might think, 'He has never done this before, he must want something and that is why he is here.' On the contrary, thinking this way about me is the same as looking lustfully at a sati (chaste woman). I do not need anything and when others look at me negatively and get worried that I may ask them for something; that was not acceptable. Therefore, I told everyone, 'These
