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leisure, but do not become intoxicated (keyf) with it. The intoxication of pride will make it ugly. One appears ugly and unattractive when there is such an intoxicated ego for pride. Even a handsome face will appear ugly.
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Why does pride or the need for importance exist? It exists because one sees others as inferior. Therefore do not see others as inferior and tell yourself that they are superior to you. Then that pride will disappear.
You should be indebted to the one insulting you
Questioner: Respects-insults are very bothersome, how can I be free from them?
Dadashri: What bothers you, is it the insult (upmaan) or the respect (maan)?
Questioner: Actually, it is the insult.
Dadashri: Even respect can be very bothersome! A man will get up immediately if someone gives him too much respect. If a man gets too much respect, he will run away from there. If everyday people keep giving him a lot of respect, he will get tired and run away from there, whereas he would not be able to tolerate insults even for a short time. He will like respect even for a short time. Nevertheless man can tolerate insult but he will not be able to tolerate respect (excessive). Yes, to tolerate respect is like swallowing lead. When a newly married man bows at his father's feet for blessings, the father immediately gets up from his seat. If you ask him, 'Why did you get up?' He will tell you he cannot handle it.
Questioner: And yet he does not like insult, what is that?
Dadashri: It is very wrong not to like insults. No body likes insults. The shakti (the energy or the ability) to like insult has not arisen in anyone. People should hire someone to insult them, but no one does! And when people are truly insulted, they
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get hurt and feel let down. One should be thankful to the person insulting him but instead he feels hurt and let down. He should not feel hurt and let down after an insult, but should feel obliged to the person hurling the insult. If someone truly insults you, consider him your upkari i.e. someone who does you a great favor. You should think, 'it would be great if he is around me all the time.'
Love for insults
When a person insults you, he is simply a nimit (instrumental in the process of your unfolding karmas; an apparent doer) in the fruition of your past karma. How can that poor man be the guilty one when you have to endure the fruits of your own karma? So try looking at it this way. Understand that it is a fruition of your own karma when someone insults you. What would you do if a piece of rock were to fall from a hill and hit you on the head?
Questioner: I would get hurt if it were in my fate.
Dadashri: No, not so. When the rock comes tumbling down and hits you, you look up to see who threw it and when you find no one up there, you do not get upset; you do not do kashaya with anyone. But if someone throws a stone at you, you will do kashaya, you get angry with him. What is the reason behind this? It is because there is a difference in your understanding. In the former case, the hill threw the stone at you and in the latter, it also a 'hill' that throws the stone. There is no pure consciousness (shuddha chetan) in a person; it is mishrachetan (a mixture of the non-Self and the Self; the worldly being). He too is a 'rock'; he is a 'hill', the poor fellow! If you 'see' and 'understand' it this way, then it is more than enough.
You cannot love insults, can you? You cannot love insults as much as respect, can you? Can a person like losses as much as he likes profits?
