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anyone. As long as there is weakness in me, the other person can never benefit. It is a different matter if someone breaks it and makes it strong, however I will not break it. If I do not smoke myself and tell the other person to stop smoking, he may accept my advice. Surely, one should have this energy to begin with. If your own friendship with someone is broken and you try to weld other people's friendship, the energy within will not work.
Questioner: What should we do when we are not able to weld successfully?
Dadashri: If you are not qualified to weld, then what is the use of trying? Try and do as much as you can and then leave the rest alone. Your inner intent should be that it would be nice if they make up. If the welding does not take place methodically and systematically, then at least keep this your inner intent. You should not let it destroy your inner intent. You should never think, 'It will be good if they separate.' As it is, there is misery even in being together! They too are thinking to themselves, 'Why did I get into this mess?' but even so it is wrong to separate them.
Questioner: But Dada, we cannot maintain equanimity at that moment. At that moment we feel, 'Why is he doing this?'
Dadashri: There is so much weakness. Is that not a weakness? That is exactly what will happen when the time comes. You nourish and nurture a snake and then one day hit that snake and see what happens? Just test it out, 'I have fed it milk for so many days. Now I will hit it. What will the snake do?
Questioner: Now if the person we are 'welding' turns against us and we feel 'Why is he doing this?' is it because we had set out to do so through the ego?
Dadashri: Yes it was done through the ego. It was done to taste the sweetness in it.
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Questioner: The inner intent is to weld but we are not able to do so. At first we feel good and then we let go because we cannot deal with it anymore.
Dadashri: You should continue to maintain your intent. Then if the welding is successful, it is good. Have the understanding that everything that happens, welding or separation, 'it was their lot and that is why it happened to them.' This is what You have to maintain.
Happiness everywhere with welding
The person who knows the answers to, how can these two people get back together; how can their problems be solved?' etc., is the one qualified to be called a 'welder'.
Questioner: Dada, your welding takes place at a subtle level whereas welding done by others is at a gross level.
Dadashri: Yes, but there are many at the gross level.
Questioner: I like this quality of yours very much. You do the welding by making people understand and in the end they are very happy.
Dadashri: And when they are happy, I am happy too. If someone is upset and non-communicative (risavu), I will first ask, 'is something wrong? What is making you so unhappy? We all have to die one day so why not live in happiness? And we will worry about dying when the day comes, but for the time being at least live happily!'
They will be happy for a year or two but then they will be back to being unhappy. This body is such that it will bring unhappiness. Does the body not bring suffering when you get a headache? So if you experience unhappiness from your own body, can your husband not bring unhappiness too? Still there is great fun when husband and wife are united after their 'welding'.
