________________
Aptavani-9
141
Then inner entanglements commence and these give rise to all kinds of suspicions.
Who has suspicion about the Atma?
Questioner: Shrimad Rajchandraji has written in the Atma siddhi:
'Atma ni shanka kare Atma potey aap, Shanka no karnaar tey, acharaj eh amaap.' The existence of the soul is suspected by the soul itself, This is verily a matter of immeasurable amazement.
Who has suspicions about the Soul, is it the soul or is it the (buddhi) intellect?
Dadashri: Suspicions about the Soul are done by the soul itself, the intellect is not the one doing the suspecting. By the soul, 'we' mean the soul that is in your belief or projection and not the main Soul; the two are completely separate. What you call the atma (soul), is the atma that is associated with the intellect and the ego. The ego, the intellect etc., collectively begin to have suspicions about the main Soul. What kind of suspicions do they have? 'It does not seem like the main Soul. It does not feel like that.' They have suspicions and uncertainties about what the Soul must be like.
Questioner: So besides the intellect, the atma is there too, is it associated with the intellect?
Dadashri: What do you or the world currently believe the soul to be? One believes 'I am Chandulal. The intellect is mine. The ego is mine. I myself am the soul and I have to make the soul pure.' That is what one believes. He does not realize that the main Soul is pure (shuddha) indeed and all other things that have a form are things that have been created. Therefore, the ego is in all this, the intellect is there too and that is what creates suspicions. The intellect (buddhi) alone does not create
142
Aptavani-9
suspicions; the intellect along with the ego creates suspicions. That is the one who does the suspecting.
"The existence of the Soul is suspected by the soul (i.e. the charged soul with ego and intellect) itself."
One is the soul and he has suspicions about his own self. So besides 'him', who else would have suspicion? Neither the complex of anger-pride-attachment-greed nor the mind or the intellect does the suspecting. It is the soul (non-Self realized) that has suspicions about the Soul. It is a wonder it says. It suspects its own self. The ignorance in one has pervaded to such an extent that he begins to suspect his own existence: 'do I or do I not exist?' That is what he is trying to say. This is a beautiful quote from Krupadudev but only if one understands it.
Questioner: Is it the work of the pratishthit atma (the relative or the charged atma, the relative-self, I am Chandulal') to have suspicions?
Dadashri: The main Atma, the Self does not have suspicion. But the pratishthit atma is definitely laden with suspicions (shankashil). Depending on the kind of pratishtha (projections of one's inner intent) you do of a murti (idol; your body; the one with a form), the fruits you reap from your pratishtha will be matching. Similarly, you have also done pratishtha in this murti (your body). There is no difference between this idol and that idol. Whatever pratishtha you have done in this body; whatever projections of belief you have instilled in this body is what you will receive. Good pratishtha will give you good fruits.
Questioner: So it is the pratishthit atma that has suspicion about the shuddha atma (pure atma; the main Soul)? Dadashri: Yes, the pratishthit atma. I have referred to it as 'pratishthit atma' but people call it vyavahar atma' (the worldly soul). What you currently believe as the atma is really
