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Aptavani-9
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Aptavani-9
Questioner: One definitely has to have that. He cannot do without it.
Dadashri: The husband should have commonsense, should he not? If the wife makes a mistake, he starts fighting with her. You fool that mistake did not occur so that you could have a fight.
A man with commonsense is able to understand and settle differences even with a street vendor. What kind of people get into fights? A person who has no sense ruins things everywhere he goes. Is there any benefit in fighting with someone without knowing the facts, without knowing the circumstances that caused the poor person to make a mistake?
Questioner: No it does not, it causes harm.
Dadashri: So those who do not have commonsense, fight. And when they fight, that is the end. It brings an end to the relationship between the two.
So decrease your ego to such an extent that you can get along with everyone. Does the ego have threads that you can turn or twist in order to reduce it? So is this something you do with or without an understanding? There is no problem with the ego that has understanding but what good is the ego that lacks understanding? Commonsense increases with a mixing
nature (to be social) That is why I tell you that if you spend time with people, if you get acquainted with them, it will create affection in their hearts for you. When you discuss things you can pick up on people's experiences and in doing so, your commonsense will increase. By mixing with people and moving around with them, your commonsense will increase.
Questioner: You have said that one should live in harmony with others, but I experience contempt and scorn in such situations.
Dadashri: It happens because there is a presence of contempt. So if you get rid of contempt and live in harmony with others then your commonsense will increase. When one cannot have contempt even towards animals, how can one have it towards human beings? One would understand if you showed contempt if you had a certain social status, but that is not so. You cannot be contemptuous.
What do we mean by sense? It is when one gets married but has only a few conflicts with his wife throughout his life, they do not have conflicts everyday; that is sensible living. But if a man is without this sensibility, he brings home a wife, she sulks, she becomes upset and non-communicative with him and he does not know how to deal with her; he does not know how to open the 'lock' (solve problems). So what is to become of the wife?
Singing' in harmony is the key
A husband will not speak with his wife for five days after they have a row. He does not know what to do there, so how can he get beyond the stage of being non-communicative? That relationship will then begin to rust. If this were the case with a Muslim man, he would immediately know how to appease his wife and live in harmony with her. Commonsense means to "sing' in harmony with the right 'note!
Questioner: What does 'singing in harmony with the right note' mean?
Dadashri: It means that his method is similar to 'ours. It means to handle matters the way I do. What would a Muslim gentleman say? 'I will never fight with my wife. She will fight with me but I will not fight with her.'
A man with commonsense will not say, 'such is my predicament, what should I do?' If it is not applicable, then it is not commonsense.
