Book Title: Aptavani 09
Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Mahavideh Foundation

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Page 112
________________ Aptavani-9 155 156 Aptavani-9 You do not become tanmayakar i.e. you do not become engrossed or become one with your relative self because of the Gnan 'we' have given you. But You may feel and wonder, 'Did I become tanmayakar?' But no You do not, it is merely a suspicion. The Lord says the fact that you have suspicion means you are in Gnan, because others (people without Gnan) will not have such suspicions as to whether they become tanmayakar (become one with the self). In fact they are always tanmayakar. You have this Gnan and so you will have the suspicions of, 'Did I become tanmayakar or not?' and that is the suspicion! Still the Lord says, 'I forgive You for that suspicion.' One may ask, 'Lord! Why are you so forgiving?' He will tell you, 'You did not become tanmayakar, there is a misunderstanding on your part.' You do not become tanmayakar; it is merely your suspicion. Why do others not have such suspicions? Do other people have suspicions like that? No, they have never even had a thought of 'I am separate and free! Therefore, You are definitely separate. The Lord even pardons your suspicions of 'Did I become tanmayakar or not?' But the Lord also says that even such suspicion should not arise with gradual practice. Suspicion-free as to the purity of the Self In reality the Soul is like the space, and 'Shuddhatma' is a sangnya (an understanding through association), a symbol or a sign of sort. What is that sangnya? Questioner: In order to understand the soul. Dadashri: No. No matter what kind of deeds, good or bad, are done by this body, You are pure (shuddha). One may say, 'Dear Lord, I am pure but what about this body that does negative things?' The Lord still says, "Those deeds are not Yours. You are pure (shuddha) but if you believe those deeds to be yours, then you are bound by them. That is why the word Shuddhatma is written as a symbol association (sangnya). And why do 'we' call it the pure Soul (Shuddhatma)? It is because it is not affected by any impurities (ashuddhatma), despite going through the entire worldly life. But the belief 'I am Shuddhatma (I am a pure Soul)' does not become established, does it? 'How can I be pure? I do so many bad deeds. I do this and I do that, etc.' So the belief 'I am pure' does not become established, and the suspicion, 'How can you say Tam a pure Soul'?' continues. After attaining this Gnan, You have an established awareness (laksha) of 'I am a pure Soul. Therefore, regardless of whether you do good deeds or bad deeds, You are not the doer of those deeds. You are pure. You will not become tainted by the good deeds or the bad deeds and therefore you are verily pure (shuddha). 'We' tell you that nothing is going to touch You, when 'we' give you Gnan. You will progress once You become suspicion-free (nihshank) about this. If you become suspicious, then you will be bound by it but if you do not become suspicious, then You are free. It will not affect You if you remain in Dada's Agnas. The main fact is that it is not worth having any suspicion. Really, You are not doing anything. You are not doing any such actions. It is merely a delusion; it is a twisted perception. Therefore, the word 'Shuddhatma' is the sangnya (a symbol) to understand that the Soul is pure, has been pure and it always will be pure. So it becomes unshakably established if you remain in that understanding. After that the Self attains the Absolute state, full enlightenment as the Self, called kevalgnan. The original Self is the absolute Self (kevalgnan swaroop). So then, what is the difference between you and 'us'? 'We' remain as 'kevalgnan swaroop'as the absolute Self and You, the mahatmas remain as Shuddhatma (the pure Self). The suspicions You have about the original Self are gone, so all other suspicions have gone away. Still some, who by their old ways

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