Maru Jivanvrutt

Author(s): Sukhlal Sanghavi, Dalsukh Malvania
Publisher: Gurjar Granthratna Karyalay
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/001205/1

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mAruM jIvanavRtta paMDita sukhalAlAjI A triya che. enI ne mane [}}

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mAruM jIvanavRtta paMDita sukhalAlajI gUrjara graMtharatna kAryAlaya ratanapoLanAkA sAme, gAMdhImArga, amadAvAda - 380 001

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MARU JIVANVRUTTA : Autobiography by Pandit Sukhlalji, Published by Gurjar Grantha Ratna Karyalaya, Opp. Ratanpolnaka, Gandhi Road, Ahmedabad - 380 001 Price Rs. 120.00 (c)5. sukhalAlajI pahelI AvRtti : 1980 punarmudraNa : 2003 prata : 750 pRSThasaMkhyA : 8 + 204 kiMmata : rU. 1200 prakAzaka amarabhAI ThAkoralAla zAha gUrjara graMtharatna kAryAlaya ratanapoLanAkA sAme, gAMdhImArga, amadAvAda - 380 001 thaipaseTiMga | vikrama komyuTara senTara e - 1, vikrama epArTamenTa, zreyasa kraoNsiMganI pAse, AMbAvADI, amadAvAda - 380 015 mudraka bhagavatI ophaseTa 15/sI, baMsIdhara esTeTa, bAraDolapurA, amadAvAda - 80 004

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paMDita sukhalAlajI janma tA. 8-12-1880] [avasAna tA. 2-3-1978

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nivedana sva. paMDita sukhalAlajI paricaya TrasTanA sthApaka pramukha hatA. paricaya pustikA pravRttino prAraMbha ame emanI preraNAthI ja karelo. gujarAtImAM A jAtanuM vidyAnuM kAma thAya evI emanI UMDI icchA hatI. paricaya pustikA pravRtti e icchAnA phaLarUpe ja zarU thaI ane pachIthI e prakAzana-pravRtti mATe TrasTa sthApyuM tyAre paMDitajIe enuM pramukhapada svIkAravAnI saMmati ApI TrasTane ghaNuM moTuM gaurava ApyuM. Avo gADha saMbaMdha jotAM paMDitajInI AtmakathAnuM prakAzana temanA smArakasamuM paricaya TrasTa na kare to koNa kare ? A jIvanavRtta lakhAyuM che evI amane mAhitI maLI ke tarata ja paricaya TrasTanA TrasTImaMDaLe e prasiddha karavAno TharAva karyo. Aje e TharAvano amala thAya che ethI ame harSa pAmIe chIe. vasavaso eTalo ja rahe che ke paMDitajI A AtmavRttane 1921 karatAM vadhu AgaLa laI jaI zakyA nahIM, paNa tyAM sudhInI A kathA paNa eka asAdhAraNa puruSArthanI kathA che. gujarAtI bhASAne emAM eka judI ja jAtanI kRti prApta thaze eno amane AnaMda che. paMDitajInA vidvAna ziSya zrI dalasukhabhAI mAlavaNiyAe A pustakanuM saMpAdana karyuM te mATe paricaya TrasTa temano aMta:karaNapUrvaka AbhAra mAne che. muMbaI: vADIlAla DagalI navembara 28, 1980 menejiMga TrasTI paricaya TrasTa

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punaH prakAzana veLAe paMDita sukhalAlajInuM jIvana asAdhAraNa puruSArtha, akhaMDa jJAnasAdhanA, adamya jijJAsAvRtti ane niSpakSa ciMtananI addabhuta gAthA che. paMDitajIe svayaM sane 1946mAM potAnI AtmakathA lakhAvavAno prAraMbha karyo hato. temAM temaNe sane 1921 sudhInI jIvanagAthA lakhAvI hatI. tyArabAda temane potAnI AtmakathA judA svarUpe lakhAvavAnI IcchA thatAM aTakI gaI. sane 1921 pachInA lagabhaga cha dAyakAnA samayagALA daramiyAna teno punaH prAraMbha na thaI zakyo, ane cha dAyakAnI jIvanagAthA paNa na AlekhAI, eTaluM ja nahIM paraMtu jIvanakALa daramiyAna AtmakathA chapAvavAnI saMmati TALatAM ja rahyA. chelle sane 1978mAM saMmati ApI ane sane 1980mAM teozrInA avasAna bAda "mAruM jIvanavRtta' nAme temanI AtmakathA pragaTa thaI. A AtmakathA uparAMta temaNe keTalAMka jIvanaprasaMgo, yAtrAvarNano lekha svarUpe lakhAvyAM hatAM te "darzana ane ciMtana' bhA-ramAM pragaTa thayAM hatAM. A graMthonuM saMpAdana saujanyazIla paMDita dalasukhabhAI mAlavaNiyAjIe karyuM hatuM. chellAM keTalAMya varSothI A graMtha aprApya banyo che. tenuM punaH prakAzana jarUrI hatuM. paMDita sukhalAla saMghavIno gUrjara graMtharatna kAryAlaya sAthe AtmIya saMbaMdha rahyo che. temanuM sadA preraka mArgadarzana paNa maLatuM rahyuM hatuM. gUrjara graMtharatna kAryAlayanA amRtaparva nimitte tenA RNasvIkAra svarUpe prastuta graMtha chApavAno nirNaya karyo ane te mATe graMthanA prakAzaka paricaya TrasTano saMparka sAdhyo. paricaya TrasTanA TrasTIgaNe amArI bhAvanAne saharSa vadhAvI lIdhI ane prakAzana mATe paravAnagI ApI te mATe ame temanA atyaMta AbhArI chIe. A graMtha gujarAtanI janatA ja nahIM paraMtu samagra mAnavajAtine gaurava apAve tevI addabhuta jIvanagAthA varNavato graMtha che. tenuM punaH prakAzana amArA mATe paNa gauravano viSaya che. - prakAzaka

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saMpAdakIya paMDita sukhalAlajIe temanA jIvananA keTalAka prasaMgo ane yAtrAvarNano tathA temanA saMparkamAM AvelA mitro viSe je kAMI I. sa. 1957 sudhImAM lakhyuM hatuM te to "darzana ane ciMtana' bhAga bIjAmAM saMgraha karIne chApavAmAM AvyuM ja che, paraMtu temanI potAnI anicchAne kAraNe prastuta pustaka, joke temaNe 1946mAM ja lakhI rAkhyuM hatuM te have chapAya che. A temaNe lakheluM jIvanavRtta' I. sa. 1920-21 sudhInuM ja che eTale adhUruM ja rahyuM, kAraNa ke teo jyAre A lakhANa zrI zAMtilAla vanamALI zeThane banArasamAM I. sa. 1946nA julAImAM lakhAvatA hatA te daramiyAna temaNe rASTrapati zrI rAjendraprasAdanI AtmakathA vAMcI ane temane thayuM ke meM je mArI AtmakathA lakhI che te judI ja rIte lakhAvI joIe. ane zrI ratibhAI dIpacaMda desAI ane mArI aneka vAra vinaMtI chatAM temaNe potAnI A AtmakathA pUrI karI ja nahIM, eTaluM ja nahIM, paNa tene chApavAnI paNa rajA ApI nahIM. cheka jAnyuArI, 1978mAM mArA atyAgrahane kAraNe temaNe chApavA maMjUrI ApI ane mane te soMpI dIdhI ane tA. ra-3-78nA roja to temanuM mRtyu thayuM. paricaya TrasTanA zrI vADIbhAI DagalIe mane adhUrI A kathAne pUrI karI devA kahyuM ane huM khuzIthI karI deta; paNa AjakAla mArI potAnI tabiyata ane bIjI ciMtAothI gherAyelo hoI te mArAthI banyuM nathI teno kheda che, paNa tenI pUrti vAcako A pUrve prakAzita mArI prajJAcakSu paM.sukhalAlajI' nAmanI pustikA (kumakuma prakAzana, I. sa. 1977)thI karI zakaze. prastuta pustakanAM je prakaraNo che te ane te te prakaraNomAM carcAnA viSayonAM mathALAM che te meM karyA che. paMDitajIe to mAtra ATha pAnAM sudhImAM mathALAM lakhAvyAM hatAM. prastuta pustakanA prakAzananI javAbadArI paricaya TrasTe svIkArI te mATe ane A kAma pUruM karavAno mane avasara Apyo te mATe zrI vADIbhAIno atyaMta AbhArI chuM. A pustakanAM pUpho jovAmAM DaoN. nagInabhAI zAhe sahAyatA karI che te mATe temano AbhArI chuM. - dalasukha mAlavaNiyA

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prAstAvika keTalAka vicAravAna mitro ghaNo vakhata thayA mane kahetA rahyA che ke tame tamAruM jIvanavRtta lakhI kADho. kyAreka kayAreka lakhI kADhavAnuM mana thaI AvatuM, paNa saMkocano paDado ADe Avato. ema thatuM ke kayAM parAkramazALI ane tejasvI puruSonI jIvanakathA ane kyAM mArI pAmara jIvanakathA. paDadAmAM Ucharela kuLaputrI jyAre kuLavadhU thAya che ane tene jIvana jIvavuM paDe che tyAre jIvananAM dabANo tenA sahaja saMkocanA paDadA dhIre dhIre khesavI nAMkhe che. tema mAro saMkoca paNa aneka jIvanakathAo vAMcavAnA temaja kALa-paripAkanA pariNAme dhIredhIre osarato gayo. Aje e paDado sAva khasI jatAM huM jIvanavRtta lakhAvavAnI dhRSTa bhUmikA upara AvI beTho chuM. AkhA jIvana daramiyAna eka yA bIje kAraNe jIvananA ekeya prasaMganI noMdha karI ke karAvI nathI. je kAMI smRtipaTamAM phurI Ave che ane jeno saMvAda temaja sumeLa AsapAsanI bIjI nizcita ghaTanAo dvArA oche vadhate aMze thaI jAya che te ja vastu huM moTA bhAge AlekhavA dhAruM chuM. mAre kahI devuM joIe ke ghaNI bAbatonI tArIkho ane sAlavArI cokkasa nahi paNa hoya. emAM kAMIka UlaTuMsUlaTuM thaI javAno vadhAre saMbhava che. chatAM eka bAbata to nizcita che ke huM je je jIvanaghaTanAonuM Alekhana karIza te anubhavasiddha hoI temAM bhAgye ja viparyAsa thaze. joke tapAsa karavAnI temaja purAvAo zodhavAnI lAMbI jaMjALamAM UtaruM to ghaNI bAbatonI cokkasa tArIkho ane sAlavArI maLI paNa Ave. chatAM dhULadhoyAnA e dhaMdhAmAM paDI, thoDI bacI gayela zakti ane samayano upayoga e nimitte karavAnuM mane Aje koI paNa rIte posAya tema che ja nahi. tethI mArA paricayamAM AvanAra A smaraNaprasaMgomAM kALakramano koI vipayara jue to sudhArI le. jIvanaprasaMgo ane jIvanaghaTanAo viSe paNa eka bAbata sUcavavA dhAruM chuM ane te e ke koI paNa ghaTanA, pachI bhale te taddana AtmalakSI dekhAtI hoya chatAM teno saMbaMdha sUkSma rIte jotAM koI ne koI sAthe hoya ja che. varNana karanAra potAnA jIvanaprasaMgone amuka dRSTie joto hoya ane te ja prasaMgo sAthe saMbaMdha dharAvanAra bIjAo tene bIjI ja dRSTie jotA hoya. eTale eka ja bAbata ane ghaTanAne aneka saMbaMdhI loko judI judI dRSTie nihALe e svAbhAvika che, paNa huM to mArA jIvanaprasaMgone je dRSTie nihALato ane joto houM te ja dRSTie mukhyapaNe varNana karI zakuM. tethI mArA jIvanaprasaMgo viSe bIjA saMbaMdhIonI daSTi judI judI hoya to te pramANe paNa te upara teo vicAra karI zake che. mAre mATe to eTaluM ja basa che ke teo mArI daSTine paNa dhyAnamAM rAkhe.

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anukramaNikA . * : : : 1. kuTuMbakathA 2. nizALanuM jIvana * * * * * 3. sahajavRttio ane Tevo . 4. dhArmika saMskAro.......... 5. sAmAjika nabaLAIo ....... 6. bIjo janma..... 7. sAmAjika ane dhArmika jIvanano paricaya. 8. kAzI pAThazALA.......... 9. yAtrA ane mUrtipUjA .................... 10. kAzI pAThazALAno tyAga . . . . . . . . 11. pAThazALA tyAga pachInI yAtrA..... 12. punaH kAzImAM abhyAsa ane dRSTilAbha . 13. parIkSA ane mithilAnA anubhavo... 14. tyAgIomAM padavIno moha ............. 15. parIkSAtyAga ane vidyAvistAra ......... 16. mahesANA ane viramagAma pAThazALAmAM.... 17. AbunI yAtrA ane pATaNamAM praveza .... 18. kezariyAjInI yAtrAe. 19. udepura thaI amadAvAda 20. vaDodarAnA anubhavo. .. 21. amadAvAdamAM...... 22. lekhanakAryano daDha saMkalpa ... 23. pUnAnA anubhavo .... 24. punaH AgrAmAM ......... 25. vRndAvana ane mathurAnA anubhavo. - - - , , , , , , , , , , Y O U - - - - - - - - - - - , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , s * * * * * , , , , 2 , 1 * * * * * * * , , , 1 36 - - - - , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 4 9 147 ......... 153

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da VIII 26, paMcapratikramaNa ane kailAsadhAma sikaMdarAno nivAsa............. 27. pharI pUnA tarapha . . . . . . . . . 16 2 28. traNa yAdagAra prasaMgo ......... ... 168 29. pitAnA kArajano virodha ... .. 30. AgrAmAM kuTuMbasaMskAranI pravRtti ......... 31. sAdaDImAM jaina zvetAMbara konpharansa ... 32. sanmatino AraMbha ane Apattio......... 179 33. bImArIne kAraNe yAtrAo .. 184 34. vaDhavANamAM aspRzyatA nivAraNano prayoga ane kAzImAM nivAsa ... 192 35. sametazikharanI yAtrA karI kalakattAmAM .. 17ra.

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paMDita sukhalAlajI mAruM jIvanavRtta 5. sukhalAlajI

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1. kuTuMbakathA zrImALI vaMza mAro janma vaizya kuLanI eka peTAbheda zrImALI jJAtimAM thayelo che. zrImALI jJAti dazA ane vIsA ema be bhAgamAM vaheMcAyela che. huM vIsA zrImALI chuM. zrImALI loko mULe bhinnamAla (jUnA gujarAtanI eka vakhatanI rAjadhAnI ane mAravADa jaMkazananI pazcima-dakSiNe AveluM jodhapura sTeTanuM atyAranuM bhinnamAla gAma) thI gujarAtamAM UtarI AvelA ane aNahilapura pATaNanA abhyudaya kALamAM teo cAre ta2pha vistarelA. pATaNanA muMjAla, udayana, zAntu jevA ghaNA parAkramI maMtrIo zrImALI hatA. saMbhava che ke e parAkramI zrImALIonA prabhAvakSetra kAThiyAvADa - jhAlAvADamAM e ja jamAnAmAM zrImALI loko phelAyA haze. jema badhI jJAtio viSe sarvatra itihAsamAM banatuM AvyuM che tema zrImALI jJAti viSe paNa ema banavAno saMbhava che ke zrImALI vaizya yajamAno jyAM jyAM vistaratA gayA tyAM tyAM zrImALI brAhmaNa goro paNa sAthe sAthe gayA. zrImALI brAhmaNo ane zrImALI vaizyono evo nikaTa saMbaMdha parApUrvathI cAlyo Avyo che ke zrImALI go2 sivAya bIjuM koI zrImALI vaizyanAM lagna karAvI zake nahi. (joke hamaNAM hamaNAM navIna prathAe emAM gAbaDuM pADyuM che.) kyAMya zrImALI vaizyomAM lagna hoya to game eTale dUra dUrathI paNa zrImALI goro AvavAnA ane 'dApuM' vaheMcI levAnA. dazeka varSanI uMmarano hato te samayano eka prasaMga yAda che ke vaDhavANa zaheramAM eka dhanADhya yajamAnane tyAM DosInuM kAraja hatuM. tyAMnA lAgA ane dApAjIvI saMpanna zrImALI brAhmaNoe lAgA viSe kAMIka vAMdho paDatAM lAMghaNa zarU karelI ane trAguM karavAnI dhamakI paNa ApelI. huM te vakhate evA bhayathI bahu tharatharI gayelo ke brAhmaNonuM lohI paDaze to zuM thaze ? kAraNa ke janmathI mana upara evA mUDha saMskAranI chApa pADavAmAM AvelI hatI ke brAhmaNonA lohInuM TIpuM vaMzanuM satyAnAza kADhe che. A ane AnA jevA mUDha saMskAroe eka kALe brAhmaNonI pratiSThA ane AjIvikAmAM game teTalI vRddhi karI haze chatAM tethI ekaMdare yajamAna ane gora ubhaya pakSanuM patana thayuM che enI sAkSI jIvato itihAsa pUre che.

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4 * mAruM jIvanavRtta zrImALImAM dazA ane vIsAno bheda kyArathI paDyo haze ane e be vacce kanyAnI levaDadevaDa kyArathI baMdha paDI haze eno itihAsa ajJAta che. dazA-vIsA, pAMca-aDhiyA vagere bhedonAM amuka kAraNo apAya che, paNa e viSe mAro nizcita mata evo rahyo che ke nAtajAtanA UMcanIcapaNAnA mithyAbhimAnanI A badhI kalpita ane hAnikAraka sRSTi che. dazAo vIsAne amuka bAbatamAM UtaratA lekhe che to vIsAo dasAne bIjI bAbatamAM UtaratA lekhe che. jyAM jenI pradhAnatA tyAM tenI vAta manAya che, paNa sadbhAgye A bhUta have zIghra alopa thatuM jAya che. saMghavI kuTuMba amAruM kuTuMba saMghavI kuTuMba tarIke jANItuM che. saMghavIno sAmAnya artha e che ke jeNe saMgha kADhI saMghapati pada prApta karyuM hoya. atyArano amAro kuLadharma sthAnakavAsI hovAthI emAM tIrtha nimitte saMgha kADhavAnI prathAne to sthAna che ja nahi tethI evo saMbhava che ke sthAnakavAsI paMtha svIkAryA pahelAM kayAreka vaDavAoe potAnA mUrtipUjaka paMtha pramANe tIrtha nimitte saMgha kADhyo haze ane saMghavI pada prApta karyuM haze. bIjo evo paNa saMbhava che ke sthAnakavAsI paMthamAM bhaLyA pachI paNa koI sAdhunAM darzana nimitte saMgha kADhI laI javAne kA2Ne agara grAmasaMghanA mukhiyApaNAnA mobhAnA kAraNe 'saMghavI'pada rUDha thayuM hoya. jaina-jaineta2 dharma pALatI aneka nAtomAM saMghavI pada sAdhA2Na ja che. saMghavI kuTuMbo ghaNAM che, paNa ame dhAkaDa saMghavI tarIke jANItA chIe. vaizyo vyApArapradhAna hoI potAnA itihAsa viSe sAva ajJAta hoya che. tethI amuka vizeSaNo ke amuka padano khulAso ghaNI vAra teo taddana kalpita rIte kare che. AnuM ramUjI udAharaNa ahIM ApavA jevuM che. mArA pitAjI ane bApujI (pitAnA vaDIla bhAI) bahu utsAha ane bahAdurIpUrvaka 'dhAkaDa' kahevAvA viSe khulAso karatA te mane yAda che. teo kahetA ke amArA amuka vaDIla eka vA2 bharavADane tyAM ghI toLavA gayA. tapelAnA dhaDAmAM temaNe bakarInuM nAnuM baccuM chAbaDAmAM mUkyuM. pelI bharavADaNa ghIno gADavo levA aMdara gaI ke pAchaLathI vaizya vaDIle e baccAne pAse paDelI chAza pIvaDAvI dIdhI jethI baccAnuM vajana vadhyuM. bharavADaNa bahu cakora ane abhyAsathI aTakaLa karavAmAM pAvaradhI hatI. dhAryAM karatAM vadhAre ghI nAMkhavA chatAM dhA2Na barAbara na thaI eTale e vicAramAM paDI. enI najara chAzanA vAsaNa upara paDI to e khAlIkhaTa. teNIe e vaDIlane pUchyuM ke A baccuM chAza to nathI pI gayuM ! A vAsaNamAM chAza hamaNAM hatI te kyAM jAya ? vicakSaNa vaDIle kahyuM ke huM vacce Ubho thayelo. kadAca e daramiyAna eNe chAza pIdhI paNa hoya. bharavADaNe e vaDIlane kahyuM ke tame to dhAkaDa cho. A kalpita khulAsAmAM 1. nAthurAma premI, jainasAhitya aura itihAsa pR. 540

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kuTuMbakathA 0 5 bharavADaNe vAparelo dhAkaDa' zabda dhADapADu ke uThAvagIra arthano sUcaka che. huM nAnI uMmarathI pitAjI vagere vaDe karAtA A khulAsAne kAMIka kutUhalathI ane kAMIka zraddhAthI sAMbhaLato Avelo, paNa uMmara, avalokana ane anubhava vadhatAM mane lAgyuM ke e khulAso taddana mana:kalpita hato. kharo itihAsa evo che ke dhAkaDa eka vaMza che. te koI gAmanA nAma uparathI ke bIjA kAraNathI prasiddha thayelo e niHzaMka che. dhAkaDa vaMzanA ghaNA loko mAravADamAM jyAM tyAM atyAre paNa che. mane ema paNa lAge che ke dhAkaDa e dharkaTano ja paryAya che. dharkaTa vaMza itihAsamAM bahu prasiddha che ane te bahu jUno paNa che. dharmaTa vaMzamAM aneka parAkramI ane udAra vyaktio thayelI che, jenA ullekho aneka jUnA graMthonI prazastiomAM maLe che. dharkaTa vaMza osavAla ane poravADa vaMzathI paNa jUno che ane dhanapAla jevA vidvAna lekhako paNa e vaMzamAM thayA che. 1 janmabhUmi mArI janmabhUmi jhAlAvADa che. janmasthAna viSe mane kazI jANa nathI. enI cokkasa jANa dharAvanAra koI hayAta hoya ema atyAre jaNAtuM nathI chatAM vadhAre saMbhava evo che ke mAro janma kAM to mosALa pakSe koMDha (haLavada pAse. dhrAMgadhrA sTeTa) gAmamAM agara to mArI pitRbhUmi lImalI gAmamAM thayo haze. lImalI gAmano piracaya jIvanaghaTanAnI dRSTie Apavo jarUrI che. lImalI eka nAnuM gAmaDuM che. mArA nivAsa daramiyAna enI vastI hajAra mANasa sudhI bhAgye ja pahoMcI haze. emAM cAre varNanA loko rahe che. e mULI sTeTa (pa2mA2nI covIzI) tAbAnuM eka bhAyAtI gAma che. emAM nAnA-moTA paramAra bhAyAtonA seMkaDo bhAga paDe che. e dRSTie te garAsiyAonI pradhAnatAvALuM ja gAmaDuM che. enA keTalAka bhAgIdAra garAsiyAo tyAM paNa vase che ane mULI sTeTamAMnAM bIjA gAmomAM paNa vase che. mAlikInI dRSTie garAsiyAonI pradhAnatA kharI, paNa gAmano kharo mobho to vyApArI vargane lIdhe ja lekhAto. brAhmaNonI peDhe vyApArI vaizyonAM paNa paMdareka ghara hatAM. catuHsImA lImalI gAmanI catuHsImAnuM tAdaza smaraNa mane Aje paNa che; kA2Na ke huM dekhato tyAre enI badhI dizAomAM khUba pharelo. enI pUrve pAMceka gAu upara vaDhavANa zahera AveluM che. pazcime eTale aMtare mULI zahera che, je covIzInI dIvAnI phojadArInuM sthAna che. uttare ane dakSiNe eTale aMtare evuM koI zahera nathI, paNa nAnAM nAnAM gAmaDAM che. lImalInI comera dizA-vidizAomAM lImalIthI gAu-be gAune aMtare dazeka gAmaDAM AvelAM che, je pAkhoLamAM gaNAya che. koI vaNika DosA-DosInuM kAraja kare 1. nAthurAma premI : jainasAhitya aura itihAsa pR. 46thI

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6 * mAruM jIvanavRtta ane pAkhoLa kare tyAre e daza gAmanA vaizyo jJAti ke dharmapaMthanA bheda sivAya eka divasa jamavA Ave. huM AvI pAkhoLomAM jamavA gayelo ane tenI udAratApUrNa chatAM AjanI dRSTie jaMgalI jevI ane kAMIka eThAM-jUThAMnI gaMdakIvALI vicitra rItabhAto anubhavelI. loko jamavA bese, kapaDAM kImatI ane navAM paheryA hoya, paNa jagyAnI svacchatAnuM kAMI ThekANuM nahi. Dhora ghAsa bagADe tema jamanArAo chUTe hAthe pIraseluM DhagalAbaMdha eThuM mUke. eMThavADathI bharelI jgyAe pAchA bIjA jamanAra bese ane lagabhaga eMThathI kharaDAyela vAsaNamAM ja jame. kuLadharmane lIdhe e vakhate mane kazI ghRNA na AvatI, paNa Aje enA smaraNamAtrathI romAMca anubhavuM chuM. lImalI gAmanI bhAgoLe pazcima dizAmAM eka taLAva che. e comAsAmAM khUba bharAya ane ATheka mahinA pANI cAle. taLAvanI aMdaranA be kUvAo taLAva sukAya tyAre ja kAmamAM Ave. tyAM lagI zarUAtamAM taLAvanuM pANI mANaso ane Dhoro ekasarakhI rIte vAparatAM. pAchaLathI taLAvane kAMThe eka kUvo mArI nAnI uMmaramAM khodAtAM meM joyelo che, je pachIthI mANaso ane Dhorone AzIrvAdarUpa nIvaDyo che. pahelAM loko cAmaDAnI bokho laI taLAvamAMnA UMDA kUvAmAMthI pANI sIMcatAM ane Dhorone paNa pAtAM. meM pote paNa evI bokha vatI pANI sIMcyuM che ane zokhathI ghoDAne pAyuM che. gAmanI uttare thoDeka dUra eka vAva che, je smazAna najIka hoI bhUta ane bIkanuM sthAna lekhAtuM. bIjA lokonI peThe huM paNa tyAM avADe Dhorane pANI pAvA jato. khAsa karIne to ghoDo ke ghoDAo pAvA jato, jethI chUTathI doDAvavAnI majA paDe ane vIranI peThe chAtI kADhI upara besavAmAM eka jAtanI moTapa anubhavavAno AnaMda paNa maLe. gAmanA pAdaramAM pesatAM ja DAbA hAthe kAcA makAnamAM nizALa cAlatI, jyAM huM gujarAtI sAte copaDIo bhaNelo. gAmamAM be ThAkadvArA ane corAo temaja gAma bahAra be devasthAno che. temAMthI eka barAbara taLAvanI pALa upara AveluM che ane bIjuM tenI najIkamAM che. bIjuM devasthAna zivanI maDhI kahevAtuM. tenA vizALa medAnamAM aneka UMcAM UMcAM jhADonI ghaTA hatI, jyAM huM mitro sAthe ramavA temaja hIMcakA bAMdhI hIMcavA jato ane ghaNI vAra mahAdevanI piMDI upara pANI caDAvavA tema ja tyAMnA hanumAnane divALInA divasomAM tela ane siMdUra caDAvavA jato. taLAvanA barAbara kinAre Avela devasthAna e zekhavA pI2 ane hanumAnanA sthAna tarIke prasiddha hatuM. huM tyAM avAranavA2 kuTuMbe mAnelI mAnatAo pUrI karavA ane tyAMnA cabUtarA u52 paMkhIone jAra nAMkhavA temaja ghaNI vA2 2mavA ane tyAMnA jhADonI ghaTAgata zobhA jovA jato. pAchaLathI A jagyA prathama lobhI gaNAtA, paNa pachI dhArmika puravAra thayela eka pa2mA2 garAsiyA jIjIbhAInA udyogathI sarasa pAkI dharmazALAnA rUpamAM pheravAI gaI che. Ano pAko pAyo naMkhAto tyAre enuM UMDANa ane enuM pAkuM kAma jovA huM bahu utsukatAthI

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kuTuMbakathA - 7 jato kAraNa ke lImalImAM pahelavaheluM e ja pAkuM paththaranuM makAna banatuM hatuM. ghaNuM karI A varSa vikrama 1951 ke 15ranuM hovuM joIe, jyAre huM nizALamAM lagabhaga bhaNI rahevA Avelo. gAmanI comera khullA medAnomAM khetaro che. jyAM comAsu ane ziyALu pAka thAya che. e khetaromAM kUvA bahu jUja che. e jUja kUvAomAM sAruM ane mIThuM pANI to ethIye jUja che. AthI vADIo bahu ochI thAya che. e khetaro ane vADIomAM huM ekalo tema ja bIjAo sAthe cAlIne ane ghoDA upara besIne paNa jato. bAjarA ane ghauMnA garamAgarama poMka khAvA, jAranA zeraDI jevA gaLyA sAMThA cUsavA, caNAnA popaTA ane oLA khAvA temaja ghara mATe ghoDA upara lAdI lAvavA, bahenonA rAtrijagI vakhate ke athANAM nimitte cIbhaDAM ane koThIbaDAMnAM poTalAM lAvavAM, davA nimitte caNA ane javano khAra bhInA kapaDA dvArA ekaTho karavo - e mosamavAra khetaromAM javAno pradhAna udeza raheto. janmavarSa mAro janma vi. saM. 1937nA mAgazara suda pAMcama (I. sa. tA. 8-12-8O)nA dine thayelo che. lagabhaga sAteka varSa pahelAM janmatArIkha jANavAnI jijJAsA thatAM meM mArA nAnA bhAI ThAkarasIne lakhyuM ke te nizALanI phAIlamAMthI tajavIja karI mane jaNAve. e bhAIne tArIkha copaDAmAMthI maLI AvI te ja tArIkha ahIM ApuM chuM. kauTuMbika gharanA krama ane aMgata jIvananA anubhavanI mArA mana upara je chApa che te jotAM upara sUcavela janmavarSa sAruM lAge che. vi. saM. 1935nA unALAmAM zILI mAtAnA pariNAme mArI AMkho gaI tyAre mArI uMmara 16 varSathI vadhAre nahi hovAno mAro lAMbA vakhatano baMdhAyelo khyAla uparanI tArIkha maLyA pachI sAco Thare che. kuTuMba ane vaDavAo mAruM kuTuMba lImalImAM vasatuM, paNa mULe te vaDhavANa zaherathI tyAM AveluM hovuM joIe. mArA prapitAmaha mAvajI monAnA nAmathI jANItA hatA. mAvajI saMghavInA anukrame gAMgAjI, taLazI, amarazI ane motI ema cAra putro hatA. e cArenI majiyArAnI mAlikInAM makAna ane dukAna anukrame vaDhavANamAM vANiyAvADa ane kApaDabajAramAM hatAM. A majiyArAnI saMpatti mULe vaDhavANamAM, mAvajI saMghavInA agara temanA pitA monajInA, vasavATanI sAkSI pUre che. eka vAra huM pitAjI sAthe vANiyAvADamAM mahemAnagati cAkhavA gayelo tyAre meM sAMbhaLeluM ke A makAna ApaNuM hatuM ane bhANejone ApeluM che. dukAna to cAre bhAInA majiyArAnI saMpatti tarIke lAMbA vakhata sudhI hatI. teno mArA pitAno cotho hisso to gayA varSa lagI mArA bhatrIjAonA hAthamAM hato. enI bhADAnI AvakamAMthI sthAnakavAsI dariyAparI gacchAnA upAzraye pajusaNamAM telAdharanAM pAraNAM ke ataravAraNAM cAre bhAInI smRtimAM

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80 mAruM jIvanavRtta karAvavAmAM AvatAM. e nimitte karAvavAmAM AvelA gharagathu ghIthI nItaratA cokhAnI - kuleranA lADavA ghaNAM varSo lagI khAdhAnuM mane yAda che. vasavATa lImalImAM ane pAraNAM ke ataravAraNAM vaDhavANamAM upavAsIone karAvavAmAM dharma ane moTapa mAnatAM e vAta tyAre mane navAI upajAvatI, paNa aitihAsika rahasya samajAtAM bhrama bhAMgyo. mULe vaDhavANanA nivAsI eTale tyAM kuTuMbanA mobhA khAtara A dharmakArya zarU karavAmAM AvyuM haze. e ja rIte mAvajI monAnA nAmanI cAre bhAInA majiyArAnI dukAno dholerAmAM, kAzI bhaNavA gayo tyAM lagI to hatI ja ane ghaNuM karI chevaTe vistAra ane bhAgIdAro vadhatAM dekharekhane abhAve ja te gaI haze. vaDhavANa kempanuM thANuM AbAda thatuM gayuM ane vyApAra vadhato gayo tema tema dholerA baMdara bhAMgatuM gayuM. ATalA uparathI lAge che ke mAvajI saMghavI ke temanA pitA vaDhavANathI lImalI AvyA ane temano dholerAno dhiMdho gAMgajI saMghavI vagere cAre bhAIoe cAlu rAkhyo. mAvajI saMghavInA cAre putromAMthI gAMgajI saMghavIne cAra dIkarA, taLazI saMghavIne eka ja, amarazI saMghavIne be ane motI saMghavIne traNa putro hatA. emAMthI gAMgajI, amarazI ane motI saMghavInA eka eka putra haju paNa hayAta che. pAchaLathI amarazI ane motI saMghavIe lImalIthI dakSiNe ekAda gAu dUra kholaDiyAda gAmamAM adhavAruM karyuM ane tyAM ja teo rahI gayA. A rIte lImalI ane kholaDiyAda vacce babbe bhAIo vaheMcAI gayA chatAM cAre bhAIono kauTuMbika bhAva TheTha sudhI eTalo sAro hato ane Aje paNa che ke nAnA-moTA sukha-duHkhanA ane sArA-narasA prasaMge badhA bhAIo kauTuMbika nAte maLe ja. saMyukta kuTuMbanI purANI prathAno badho ja dekhAvaTI ke vAstavika ziSTAcAra hovA chatAM bhAIomAM samajapUrvakanuM pArasparika saumanasya bhAgye ja sacavAtuM. tANAtANa ane vaDhavADa to cAle ja, paNa pAchA lAkaDI mArye kAMI pANI judAM paDe' e kahevatane caritArtha kare. taLazI saMghavInA ekamAtra putra saMghajI. te mArA pitA. gAMgajI saMghavInA cAra putromAM sauthI moTA tribhuvanadAsa, jene amAruM AkhuM saMghavI kuTuMba bApu kahetuM. kuTuMbamAM phakta bApu ja mArA pitAthI moTA. bApu jeTalA dekhAvaDA teTalA ja rUAbadAra ane teTalA ja buddhizALI temaja vyApArakuzaLa. sAmAnya rIte sau emanI ANa mAnatA. bApu ane mArA pitA vagere dhULI nizALamAM ja bhaNelA. vyApAramAM, hisAbakitAba ane nAmAThAmAmAM, dastAveja karavA-karAvavAmAM, abhimAnI ane pANIdAra garAsiyA rajapUtone pahoMcI vaLavAmAM temaja dIvAnI-phojadArI korTanA rAtadivasanA kAvAdAvAmAM badhA bhAIo pAvaradhA hatA, paNa saumAM mokhare Ave bApu. emanI dhAka ane nAmanA dUra dUra sudhI jANItI hatI. mArA pitAjI bApune moTAbhAI kahetA ane temane bahu mAnatA. bApu paNa evA hoziyAra ke mArA pitAjInI Adarabhaktino phAve tema upayoga

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kuTuMbakathA che 9 karI letA. ene lIdhe mArA pitAjIe potAnA bhAganA ghaNA paisA moTAbhAIne ApelA, je temane kadI pAchA maLyA ja nahi. Ama chatAM e baMne bhAIono prema atUTa ane akaLa hato. chelle chelle mArA pitAjI gharakAmathI nivRtta thayA tyAre te vaDhavANa kempamAM moTAbhAI sAthe AvIne avAranavAra rahetA ane lImalImAM to eka vinA bIjAne bhAgye ja cena paDe. amAruM AkhuM saMghavI kuTuMba Atithya ane mahemAnagati mATe bahu dUra dUra sudhI jANItuM hatuM. mane yAda che ke evA divaso amArA mATe bhAgye ja hoya ke jyAre mahemAno mATe banelAM jamaNamAMthI bhAga na pAmIe. dudhALa Dhora puSkaLa eTale dUdha-dahIM ane ghI-chAzanI choLo UDatI. lagna-maraNanA varA; aMbAjI, hanumAna, pI2 Adi devadevIonI mAnatAnAM miSTAnno; ane tahevAro tathA mahemAnagati nimitte banelAM jamaNo - e badhAMne yAda karuM chuM tyAre jaina zAstramAM varNavela dUdha-dahIM ane ghInA samudro temaja cothA ArA ane satyayuganI kalpanAnuM rahasya samajAya che. mobhA, moTapa ane nAmanAno khyAla saMghavI kuTuMbamAM eTale sudhI ghara karI gayo hato ke badhA bhAIo ghaNI vAra potAnI Arthika zakti ane Avaka karatAM paNa vadhAre kharca karI jUnI prathA sAcavavAmAM gaurava mAnatA ane RNa kRtvA dhRtaM pibet'nA cArvAka maMtavyane keTalIka vAra ciratArtha paNa karatA. mArA pitAjI paNa AvI vRttithI jarAya mukta na hatA. mAtA ane bhAIbhAMDuo ame cAra bhAIo, jemAM mAro naMbara bIjo. moTA khuzAlacaMda ane huM e be sagA bhAI. choTAlAla ane ThAkarazI e be mArA oramAna bhAIo. mAre eka bahena sagI ane eka oramAna. ema ame cha bhAMDaruM. sagI bahena maNi te mArAthI moTAM hatAM. mArI janmadAtrI mAno cahero mane yAda nathI. temanA avasAna vakhate kadAca huM cAreka varSano haIza, paNa mArI oramAna mAno, jemane ame navI mA kahetA - temano goLa ane suMdara cahero Aje paNa mArI sAme tAdaza khaDo thAya che. janmadAtrI mAtAnuM sukha nathI anubhaveluM; paNa navI mAnI zILI chAyA yAda AvatAM Aje paNa romAMca anubhavuM chuM. huM moDhethI navI mA kahI bolAvato; paNa navI mAno kharo artha bahu moDe sudhI samajeloya nahi ane samajavAnI taka sAMpaDelI paNa nahi. mArI navI mA paNa ghaNuM karI vi. saM. 1951mAM mArA moTAbhAInA lagnaprasaMge mAMDavo nAMkhavAnA divase ja gujarI gayAM, paNa mArAM gharaDAM pitAmahI jIvita hatAM. e chellAM varSomAM aMdha thayelAM. emane ame badhAM mA kahetAM. mA aMdha chatAM Dhora dohatAM, badhuM daLaNuM daLatAM, chAza

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10 - mAruM jIvanavRtta valovatAM, mAkhaNa kADhatAM ane ghaNI kharI rasoI paNa karatAM. joke gharamAM kAma karanAra have bhojAI AvI ja gayAM hatAM. ane gAmemAM eka sagAM phaI paNa hatAM, chatAM gharano badho bhAra to mA ja uThAvatAM. puruSamAtA bhaIjI gharano bhAra mAne bhAge hato kharo, paNa amane chae bhAMDaruone ucheravAno bhAra to eka adbhuta puruSamAtA upara hato. e adbhuta puruSa sAyalAnA nivAsI ane dUranA sagA hatA. mArA pitAjI emane mULajIkAkA kahetA ane ame tathA AkhuM gAma emane bhaIjI kahetAM. e amAre tyAM karatA to nokarI, paNa hatA gharanA rAjA. mA karatAM paNa vadhAre hetALa emanI lAgaNIne kAraNe amane sagI mA ke oramAna mAno viyoga kharI rIte kadI sAlyo ja nathI. huM to bAreka varSanI uMmarano thayo tyAM lagI emanI sAthe ja sUto ane rAte jyAM lagI bhaIjI vAto na mAMDe ane pUrI na kare tyAM lagI sUto ja nahi. e vAMso paMpALe, sukhada coMTakA bhare pachI ja UMgha Ave. bhaIjI zarIre khUba puSTa ane rUpALA paNa hatA. bhaNela dhULI nizALe, paNa emanuM dhArmika jJAna adbhuta hatuM. koI vidvAna sAdhu ke sAdhvI Ave ane vyAkhyAna vAMce tyAre jIkAro bhaIjI ja Ape. ane zAstranI badhI vAto samaje tema ja vaktA kAMI bhUle to yAda Ape. meM emanI pAsethI seMkaDo vAto sAMbhaLelI, je moTe bhAge jainaparaMparA sAthe saMbaMdha dharAvatI. nizALanA mAstara mAre ke dhamakAve, kAkA, pitA ke bApu vaDhe agara bIjuM koI dhamakAvavA Ave tyAre mArA mATe e bhaIjInI soDa ja trANasthAna banatI. emanI pAse huM ke ame koI bhAI-baheno pahoMcyAM eTale koInI magadUra nahi ke amane vaDhI zake. bhaIjI mA ane pitAne paNa saMbhaLAvI de ke, zuM chokarAne mArI nAMkhavAM che ? jamatAM jamatAM apUrNa bhojane amArI piracaryA mATe roja e UThI jAya ane ghaNI vAra emanI thALI kUtarAM cAkhe paNa kharAM. khAvA-pIvAnI joItI game te cIja koInA virodhanI paravA karyA vinA mAMdagImAM paNa Ape. AvI svargIya hUMphane lIdhe kadI nAnI uMmaramAM mAtA ke pitAnuM vahAla yAda AvyuM nathI. mane mAtA nIkaLyAM ane sannipAta jvaramAM huM rAte UThIne kyAMya cAlyo jAuM tyAre paNa e ja bhaIjI jAgatA hoya. cheka vi. saM. 1955mAM jyAre teo amAza gharathI ghaNAM varSe chUTA thayA ane sAyalA gayA tyAre amane badhAMne kharI jIvatI mAtA gayAnuM UMDuM duHkha thayeluM. chappaniyAnA duSkALamAM teo lImalI AvelA ane tyAra bAda paNa beeka vAra AvelA, paNa emanA vahAlanI UMDI asara mArA mana upara eTalI badhI tAjI hatI ke huM temane bhUlI zakato nahi ane temanA chellA Arthika saMkaTanA divaso viSe sAMbhaLI duHkhI thaI jato.

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kuTuMbakathA 11 vi. saM. 1960nA unALAmAM caitra ke vaizAkha mAsamAM huM pahelI vAra bhaNavA nimitte kAzI Avyo ane tyAM AvyA bAda vArSika meLAvaDAmAM mane ekAvana rUpiyAnuM paheluM inAma maLyuM tyAre tarata ja emAMthI daza rUpiyA sAyalA bhaIjIne mokalavAnuM mana thayuM, ane te vaDIla bhAI dvArA mokalI ApyA. Ama chatAM tyAra bAda UMDI samaja prasaratAM mane Aja lagI ema lAgyA ja karyuM che ke meM bAkInA rUpiyA kAzI pAThazALAmAM nirarthaka jamA zA mATe karAvyA. mAre to enI kazI jarUra hatI ja nahi. mArA kuTuMbane paNa enI apekSA na hatI. jyAre bhaIjIne enI khAsa jarUra hatI, paNa AmAM mAre doSa kone devo? potAnI aNasamajane ke kuTuMba ane samAja taraphathI maLela bhaLatA ja chIcharA vArasAne ! game tema ho, paNa huM jyAre kAzIthI pAcho pharI pahelI vAra dezamAM gayo tyAre meM sAMbhaLyuM ke kRtajJatAnA pratIkasamAM mAtra e daza rUpiyAthI paNa bhaIjIne chellA jIvanamAM khUba saMtoSa thayelo. emanA du:khI jIvanamAM AvA saMtoSanuM eka kAraNa kadAca e paNa haze ke emane hAthe Ucharela ane apaMga thavAthI nirAdhAra manAyela mArA jevo emano priya bALaka have aNadhArI rIte ane daivayoge kAzImAM pahoMcI potAno saMtoSaprada mArga pasaMda karI levA pAmyo che. mamatALu bhAIjInI TUMkAmAM TUMkI ATalI carcA meM eTalA mATe karI che ke eka to emanA pratye mArI kRtajJatA, ajJAnane lIdhe, pUrNapaNe ane sAcI rIte darzAvI zakyo nathI, tenuM duHkha vyakta karavuM ane bIjuM e ke anubhave je siddhAMta meM tAravyo che te navI peDhIne kahI devo. te siddhAMta e ke jo koI kharA ane jIvanamAM sAkSAtkAra karavA yogya devadevIo hoya to te janma ApanAra, ucheranAra ane saMskAra nAMkhanAra mAtApitA tema ja evA bIjA je hoya te ja che. devadevIonI kalpita sRSTi ane upAsanA upara eTalo badho bhAra apAyo che ke mANasajAta jIvita devatAone gumAvyA pachI ja temane yAda kare che ane pUje che.

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- 2. nizALanuM jIvana nizALanuM jIvana nizALe besavAnI ghaTanA hajIye yAda che. kavitA gAtA vidyArthIonI vacce kinakhAbanI DagalI paherI ane mAthe jhiMkathI bharelI TopI oDhI mAstaranI AgevAnImAM nizALe gayelo. tyAM goLa, patAsAM ke evuM kAMIka vaheMcavAmAM AveluM, ane mAstarane tyAM lADu mATe pUratuM sIdhuM ApavAmAM AveluM. nizALanI keTalIka khAsa bAbato noMdhuM chuM, jenI atyAra lagI smRti upara UMDI asara che ane je navayugathI jUnA yugane temaja zaherI jIvanathI grAmya jIvanane judAM pADe che. lAkaDAnuM pATiyuM, khaDI ane vataraNuM akSaro ghUMTavA temaja sudhAravAmAM vaparAtAM. AMka zIkhavA ane moMphATa levA upara bahu bhAra apAto. te eTale sudhI ke nizALathI chUTyA pachI paNa rAte dukAne vaDIlo AMkhamAM UMgha bharI hoya chatAM moMpATha roja niyamita levaDAve ane AMkanA savAlo pUche. AgaLa jatAM chokarAo ToLe vaLe ane gAmanAM moTerAMo paNa emAM bhaLe. jema AMkamAMthI savAla puchAya tema jAtajAtanA hisAba ane palAkhAM paNa puchAya. atyAkSarInI harIphAInI peThe e savAlo ane palAkhAMonA jhaDapI temaja sAcA javAba ApavAnI harIphAI nizALamAM temaja rAte bajAramAM cAle. Ane lIdhe huM gaNitamAM ane hisAba-kitAbamAM ThIkaThIka taiyAra thayelo. upalA vargomAM kayAreya meM gaNitamAM ochA guNa meLavyA hoya evuM yAda nathI. vArovAriyuM ane cakravRddhi vyAja gaNato tyAre varganA bIjA sAthIo mArI ja pATImAM joI lakhI letA. zarUAtamAM khaDIthI ane pAchaLathI zAhIthI kopI lakhavAnI paNa hathoTI besI gayelI. ene lIdhe mArA akSarono vaLAMka eTalo sAro thayelo ke pitAjI ane bIjA vaDIlo mane bolAvI copaDAmAM nAmuM lakhAve ane mArI pAse kAgaLo paNa lakhAve. copaDIo sAcavavAnI ane tene zaNagAravAnI Teva nAnapaNathI ja paDelI. pahelI copaDImAM pAsa thayA pachI te copaDI tevI ne tevI navI jevI sacavAyAnuM Aje paNa yAda che. jyAM tyAMthI kapaDAMnA thAna uparanI chApo meLavavI ane pachI kAgaLanA ke kapaDAnAM, hAthe sIvI pUThAM caDAvavAM ane chApo coDI daphataramAM copaDIo evI rIte rAkhavI ke melI na thAya. A Tevo konI dekhAdekhIthI paDI haze te yAda nathI, paNa barAbara paDelI te yAda che. Ama chatAM

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nizALanuM jIvana 0 13 enI sAthe ja bIjo eka saMskAra yAda Ave che, je mArI pAchaLanI ane AjanI dRSTie to sAva kusaMskAra ja che. A saMskAra te AMkha, nAka, nakha ane kapaDAMnI joItI svacchatAnI bedarakArI. mane lAge che ke A saMskAranuM mULa to kauTuMbika, sAmAjika ane grAmya jIvananI asvacchatAnA vAtAvaraNamAM raheluM che. gAmaDuM eTale jyAM dekho tyAM gaMdakI. unALAmAM dhULa, comAsAmAM gAro ane bAre mahinA chANa temaja lAda ane ukaraDAonA DhagalA. AvA vAtAvaraNamAM brAhmaNavADAmAM paNa cokA bahAra cokhkhAI jovAmAM AvatI nahi. jANe A badhuM ochuM hoya tema tenI puravaNI keTalAka avivekI jainasaMskArothI thaI. nizALanA mAstara grAmanizALanAM mukhya be aMgo. vidyArthIo ane mAstara. je vidyArthIo mArI sAthe bhaNatA agara vadhAre paricita hatA temAMthI atyAre bhAgye ja koI jIvita haze. chatAM emAMthI gulAbacaMda nAmanA eka vidyArthI mitrano mArA jIvana sAthe gADha saMbaMdha baMdhAyelo, ane eNe huM kAzI gayo tyAM sudhI mArA jIvanamAM bahu sAro bhAga bhajavelo. mArA bhaNataramAM mAstaronA cAra yuga pasAra thayA. pahelo yuga bhAIzaMkara mAstarano hato. te ane temanAM patnI badhA ja vidyArthIone cAhe. badhA sAthe gharopo rAkhe. gAmanA loko paNa mAstarane khUba mAne ane vA252be khUba dAna Ape. ghaNuM karI te vakhate pagAra mAsika rUA. 12nI AsapAsa raheto; paNa bahoLo parivAra hovA chatAM mAstara khUba sukhI. jyAre e mAstaranI badalI vaDhavANamAM thaI tyAre temane vaLoTAvavA gAmanA badhAM moTerAMo bhInI AMkhe gayelAM. bIjA mAstaranuM nAma ghaNuM karI divekara. te to be-cAra mahinA rahyA haze. e bahu ataDA ane mArakaNA hatA. emanuM ThIMgaNuM kada, caDeluM moDhuM ane UpaseluM peTa joI vidyArthIo pAchaLathI mazkarI karatA ane keTalIka vAra temanA hAthano ToparApAka paNa khAtA. A mAstara vakhate huM cothI copaDImAM hato ema yAda Ave che. e gayA tyAre emanA javAnuM duHkha koIne na thayuM. A mAstara saMbaMdhe eka aNadhArI ghaTanA bahu lAMbA vakhata pachI banI te bhUlI zakato nathI. AjathI vIseka varSa pahelAM eTale lagabhaga pistALIsa varSanI uMmare huM rAjakoTathI pasAra thaI jAmanaga2 jato hato. TrenamAM eka vyakti koI bIjA sAthe vAta karatI hatI. tenI brAhmaNazAI ane mAstarazAI Dhaba uparathI mane ema thayuM ke A koI gujarAtI nizALanA mAstara hovA joIe ! A te divekara mAstara to nahi hoya ! pUchavAnuM mana thayuM, paNa jIbha UpaDe nahi. chevaTe sTezana bahu dUra na rahyuM eTale meM pUchavAnI hiMmata karI ke tamAruM ghara kyAM ane zuM karo cho ? emaNe TUMkamAM, paNa kAMIka mAstaranI moTapathI javAba Apyo. huM koNa chuM e to emane kyAMthI ja khyAla hoya !

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14 * mAruM jIvanavRtta emanA hAtha nIce bhaNyAne paNa pAMtrIseka varSa vyatIta thaI gayelAM ane AMkho paNa nahi rahelI. meM pUchyuM ke tame kyAreya lImalI hatA? temaNe kahyuM ke hA. mane teo kahe ke tame lImalImAM saMghavIone jANo cho ? meM kahyuM ke huM pote ja saMghavI chuM, ane tamArA hAtha nIce bhayo paNa chuM. mArI sthiti viSe teo kazuM ja jANatA na hatA, eTale kAMIka lAghavadRSTithI pUchyuM ke atyAre tame zuM karo cho ane kyAM jAo cho? meM kahyuM ke huM gUjarAta vidyApIThamAM adhyApaka chuM ane jAmanagaramAM khAsa zAstrIya kAma hovAthI jAuM chuM. ATaluM sAMbhaLatAM ja temanuM valaNa sAva badalAI gayuM, ane bahu jijJAsA temaja naramAzapUrvaka vadhAre pUchavA taiyAra hoya tema dekhAyuM. tyAM to temane UtaravAnuM sTezana AvI gayuM ane ame rAma rAma karyA. A ghaTanAe mane evuM bhAna karAvyuM ke jeo ataDA ane moTapamAnI hoya che teo paNa potAnA karatAM bIjAnI caDiyAtI ane mAnamaratabAvALI sthiti jue che tyAre svabhAva badalI nAMkhe che. trIjA mAstara karuNAzaMkara AvelA. te thoDo ja vakhata rahelA; paNa cothA mAstara cunIlAla mayArAma dave AvelA. te huM bhaNI UThyo tyAra bAda paNa lImalImAM rahelA ane kAzIthI pAcho pharato tyAre lAMbA vakhata lagI temane maLavAnuM banatuM. teo bahu mAnathI jotA ane huM paNa temane tethI vadhAre mAna Apato. cunIlAla mAstaranI chApa mArA upara bIjA mAstaronI chApa karatAM vadhAre tAjI che. eka to teo UMcA varganA bhaNatara vakhate ja mAstara thaI AvelA eTale temanI pAse vadhAre samajaNapUrvaka zIkhavA maLeluM. bIjuM teo kapaDAM bahu cokhkhAM ane UjaLAM paherI bahAra nIkaLatA ane caTakadAra raMgelo pheMTo bAMdhatA - jenuM anukaraNa karavA huM lalacAto. emanI na bhUsAya evI chApanuM kAraNa emanA nAnA bhAI nAgaradAsa sAtheno mAro nikaTano saMbaMdha paNa che. nAgaradAsa potAnA vatana zIANImAM Dhora cAratA ane khetaramAM rakhaDatA. 12-13 varSanI moTI uMmare lImalI bhAI pAse bhaNavA AvyA. traNeka varSamAM sAta copaDIo pasAra karI. zarIre evA baLukA ke ghaNI vAra be hAthamAM be moTA pANInA tAMbApittaLanA ghaDA bharI kUvethI dUra nizALa sudhI doDatA upADI lAve, jene panihArIo ane ame vANiyAbhAI kautukathI joI rahetA ane manathI zAbAzI ApatA. svabhAva emano evo garama ke vIryA hoya tyAre game te vidyArthIne sakhata methIpAka cakhADe. (alabatta emAM huM apavAda) kyAreka to potAnI bhojAI upara paNa AMkaNI calAvelI ane bhAI vaDhavA Ave te pahelAM kaDiyALI lAkaDI hAthamAM laI bokAnuM bAMdhI bAra gAu dUra zIANI cAlyA gayelA. manAvyA pachI ja AvelA. mArI sAthenA vadhAre saMbaMdhanuM eka kAraNa miSTAna paNa hatuM. ghera ekalA hoya tyAre lADu jamavAnuM mana thAya. mane kahe ke tuM ghI goLa lAva ane huM banAvIza. huM khissAmAM

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nizALanuM jIvana * 15 kAgaLamAM goLa ane vATakAmAM thInA ghInAM daDabAM gharamAMthI chAnAmAnA laI jAuM. nAgaradAsa bAraNAM baMdha karI lADu banAve ane ame be jamIe. mane mAtA nIkaLyA te ja varSe nAgaradAsanA jIvane acAnaka palaTo khAdho. siniyara mAstaranI parIkSA ApyA pachI nizALe nokarIe caDe te pahelAM rAjakoTa TreniMga kaoNlejamAM rAte coronI pAchaLa paDI pakaDI pADavAnA parAkramane lIdhe teo mULI sTeTamAM ja phojadAra thaI AvyA ane ghoDesavAro sAthe UMTa upara besI, huM mAtAmAMthI AMkha gumAvI UThyo hato tyAM ja, maLavA AvyA. dhIredhIre teo polIsa InspekTaranA hoddA sudhI caDyA che ane ghaNuM karI hajI jIvita che tema ja jhAlAvADa-kAThiyAvADamAM game tevA gunAhitane pakaDI pADavA mATe jANItA che. ame maLIe tyAre kaumAra jIvananAM e smaraNothI pulakita thaIe chIe. nAgaradAsa mArAthI uMmare kAMIka moTA ane zarIre paNa bahu puSTa tathA baLavAna. keTalIka vAra pANI bharavA jatI-AvatI ane utsavomAM ramatI amuka chokarInI mazkarI karavAmAM ke halakI cheDatI karavAmAM temanAM yauvananAM prAthamika lakSaNo, mArI hAjarImAM paNa, niHsaMkoca vyakta thatAM. ejyukezanala inspekTara dhULI nizALanA yugamAMthI nIkaLI atyAranA yugamAM AvI pahoMcela zikSaNataMtranI eka vacalI kaDI jevI amArI sarakArI nizALa hatI. emAM parIkSaka tarIke dara varSe AvatA "ejyukezanala inspekTara'nuM sthAna IzvarathI jarAya UtaratuM na hatuM. e darasAla unALAmAM garama havA phUMkAtI hoya tyAre AvatA. amuka tArIkhe Avaze evI khabara mAstara vidyArthIone Ape, paNa AvavAnI tArIkha korTamAM kesa cAlavAnI tArIkhanI peThe laMbAtI jAya. parIkSaka AvI na jAya tyAM lagI vidyArthIo ane mAstara badhAne bhAre phaphaDATa. rAte upalA varganA vidyArthIone sUvA bolAve. rAte moDe sudhI gyAsaleTanI DabbIonA jhAMkhA prakAza ane gaMdha mAratA dhumADA vacce jholAM khAtAM khAtAM vAMcavAnuM yAda che. savAre vahelAM mAstaranA bhAI nAgaradAsa pANI chAMTIne ke AMkaNI mArIne vidyArthIone jagADe ane UMgha tema ja vAMcana baMnenA gagrAhamAM UMghadevatA ja jIte. parIkSaka tarIke kRSNalAla goviMdalAla AvatA. emanAM utArA ane khAnapAnanI tajavIjano Aje vicAra karuM chuM tyAre ema lAge che ke e devatAI jIvana jIvatA. kRSNalAlasAheba varSe nAma pramANe ja kRSNa hatA, paNa paraNelA eka memane, je varSe zveta hatI. pachI te yuropIya hoya ke yureziyana hoya, paNa pozAka ane Dhabachaba badhuM memasAhebanuM. kRSNalAla to mAthe heTa paheratA. e baMnenI cAla, pozAka ane ghoDA

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16 0 mAruM jIvanavRtta upara besI memasAheba pharavA jAya ke kRSNalAla memasAhebane sigarAmamAM hAtha pakaDIne besADe e badhuM amAre mATe sinemA ane nATaka karatAM paNa vadhAre AkarSaka dazya hatuM. sAheba AvavAnA hoya te pahelAMthI temane vAste ThaMDakanI bhAre taiyArIo cAlatI. khasanI TTInA avejamAM javAsAnI TaTTI banatI. ame khare bapore dUradUra rakhaDI javAsA lAvatA. gAmano mukhI kuMbhArone veThe lAvI pANI bharAvI TaTTI upara chaMTAve. parIkSA cAlatI hoya tyAre sAhebano pozAka, emanI gAdI upara besavAnI Dhaba ane mAro sAthe e zuM ane kevI rIte vAta kare che e badhuM jovA-sAMbhaLavA ame talapApaDa rahetA ane savAlonA javAba ApavAnI phikarathI paNa mukta na hatA. amArA mAstara temaja pAsenA beeka gAmathI parIkSA apAvavA vidyArthIone laI AvelA bIjA mAstarone sAheba jyAre dhamakAve tyAre mAstaronA caherA joI ame navAI pAmatA. je mAstaro kRSNalAlasAhebanI sAme bolatAM ane cAlatAM bakarI jevA thaI jatA enuM mAnasazAstrIya rahasya to bahu moTI uMmare samajAyuM. je koIne DarAve te bIjA sabaLathI DaravAno je e niyama, amArA yugamAM, AjanI peThe jANavAnuM sukara na hatuM. sAheba ane memanI joDInI rItabhAtanuM darzana e mArA jIvanamAM pAzcAtya sabhyatAnuM prathama darzana hatuM. alabatta, kyAreka kyAreka gorA sAhebo mema sAthe ghoDe caDI zikAre AvatA ane taLAvanI pALe besatA. te vakhate ame temanA anyatra nahi joyelA gorA caherAo tema ja moDhAmAMnI cirUTamAMthI nIkaLatA dhumADAo bahu dUrathI, paNa ati dhyAnathI jotA. mane ghaNI vAra ema thayeluM ke AmanI pAse kema nahi javAtuM hoya ! gAmaDiyAM strI-puruSo AvAM dazyo joI te vakhate khUba navAI pAmatAM ane pAchaLathI jAtajAtanI vAto temane viSe karatAM. meM ghaNI strIonA moDhethI ema sAMbhaLeluM ke memo kevI naphaTa ! lAja to kADhe ja nahi, paNa ghoDA upara bese ane TopI temaja bUTa pahere. A te kAMI bairAMne zobhe! e jamAnAnI grAmya sthitimAM Aje thoDo phera jarUra paDyo che. te jamAnAmAM gAmaDAno aDadho rAjA mukhI. ene pagAra to bAreka rUpiyA maLe, paNa enI ANamAM sAta-sAta rUpiyAnA pagAradAra be sipAhIo, jene sau puraviyA kahetuM. puraviyA eTale pUrva dezanA vAsI bhaiyA e artha huM pAchaLathI samajelo) ane eTalA ja pagArano eka havAladAra. A badhA zAhajAdAo DheDha, bhaMgI, kuMbhAra, hajAma vagerene veThathI nicovI nAMkhe. ziyALAmAM caNA pAke tyAre mukhInI eka veTha vidyArthIonA bhAge paNa AvatI. dhaMdhUkAnA moDha mukhI premacaMda bhAre ruAbadAra. mAstarane kahevarAve ke popaTA pholavA chokarAone mokalajo. ame be-cAra jaNa jaIe ane mukhiyANInI mukAdamI nIce kheDUto pAsethI maphata Avela popaTAnA DhagalAne pholIe temaja mukhiyANI AghIpAchI jatAM pholavA khAIe paNa. joke enI cabarAka chokarIono cADI khAvAno bhaya to kharo ja.

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nizALanuM jIvana * 17 nizALajIvananA bodhaprada prasaMgo mRtimAM tAdaza ane kAMIka bodhaprada evA nizALajIvananA thoDAka prasaMgo TAMkI sAmAnya jIvana tarapha vaLavA icchuM chuM. pAMcamIka copaDImAM haIza. bhIMta upara kAMIka jUno evo nakazo TAMgelo. AMgaLImAM parovelA kAgaLanA bhUMgaLA vatI mAstare pUchela gAma, nadI vagere ame zodhI ApatA. koNa jANe manamAM taraMga UThyo ane beMca upara beThA pachI saMkalpa karyo ke, jo "zekhavA pIra' sAcA haze to A nakazo tUTI paDaze. mAstara vacce UThI bahAra gayelA. koNa jANe zuM banyuM ke thoDI vAramAM uparanI DAMDIthI tUTI nakaze nIce paDyo. mAstare dhamakAvIne pUchyuM ke nakazo koNe toDyo? ame saue nA pADI. kharI rIte tUTyo te vakhate ame badhA beMca upara ja beThA hatA. alabatta, kAMIka pahelAM to saunI AMgaLI nakazA upara vArApharatI paDelI. koInI dhIme to koInI bhArapUrvaka, paNa AMgaLI paDI haze, paNa e to nakazo tUTyo ane saMkalpa karyA pahelAMnI vAta che. mAra paDyA chatAM koIe mIno to bhaNyo ja nahi. kema ke te vakhate nakazA paDavA sAthe koInI AMgaLInA dhoMkAno sIdho saMbaMdha na ja hato. vAta patI, paNa mArA manamAM graha baMdhAyo ke ApaNA gAmanA zikhavA pIra' sAcA che. gAma AkhuM e pIranI mAnatA mAnatuM. amAruM ghara paNa emAM pachAta na hatuM. huM nAnI uMmarathI ghaNI vAra nALiyera vadheravA ane niveda caDAvavA jato te vakhate A ghaTanA ane baMdhAyela praha viSe vicAra karavAnuM sAmarthya hatuM ja nahi. mAstara ke bIjA koInI pAse mananI A vAta karelI paNa nahi, paraMtu jema jema mana svataMtrapaNe vicAra karatuM thayuM ane bahu AgaLa jatAM bhUta temaja deva-devIonI sRSTi virSanA zAstravAcana uparAMta mAnasatattvanuM kaMIka svataMtra parizIlana karyuM tyAre mane ema ja lAgyuM che ke e ghaTanA mAtra "kAkatAlIya' nyAye banelI ane pIra viSe je graha baMdhAyo te nAnI uMmarathI paDela vahemI saMskAranuM pariNAma hato. jo ema na hoya ane pIra sAce ja jIvatA-jAgatA hoya to emanA dekhatAM dekhatAM emanA bhakto ane gAma ujjaDa jevAM na thAta. eka vAra baLadevasiMha nAmanA eka puraviyAe nizALanA cokamAM khAvAnI kamAvelI tamAku sUkvI. enI sugaMdhathI huM lalacAyo. koI na dekhe ema emAMthI thoDI cAvI. thoDo vakhata jatAM ja cakkara AvavA zarU thayAM. tabiyatanA bahAne mAstara pAsethI rajA laI ghera jatAM rastAmAM ja paDI gayo, bebhAna avasthAmAM ja mane uThAvI ghera laI javAmAM Avyo. keTalIka UlaTIo ane bIjA upacAro pachI kepha Utaryo ane svasthatA AvI tyAre vicAravA lAgyo ke A zuM thayuM? bIjAo to kAraNa jANatA ja nahi. kAMIka bImArI samajI IlAja karatA, paNa jyAre puraviyA dvArA saune mAlUma paDyuM ke enAM ghaTelAM pAMdaDAM meM ja cAvyAM che tyAre saune samAdhAna thavAthI nirAMta vaLI ane tamAku khAvAnA pariNAmano bodhapATha maLyo, paNa A bodhapATha adhUro hato.

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18 * mAruM jIvanavRtta kema ke te na khAvA pUrato ja hato. eTale tyAra pachI tamAku khAnAra aneka paMDitonA paricayamAM AvyA chatAM ane kAzI jevA sthAnamAM pAMca pAMca rUpiyAnI tolAbhAra ati sugaMdhI tamAkunI goLIo maLavI sulabha chatAM kadI ene moMmAM na nAMkhI, paraMtu tamAku to viSNunI peThe nAnA avatAro laI udghAra karavA Ave che. tamAkudevatA chIMkaNInuM mohinI rUpa dhAraNa karI mArI pAchaLa paDI. nimitta ajJAnamUlaka hatuM. kAzImAM bhaNato tyAre pagAradAra vAcaka sAMja pachI niyamita rIte vAMcavA Ave. huM sAMje peTanuM TiphinabaoNksa bharIne ja sAMbhaLavA besato. ane nyAya jevA viSayanuM sUkSma ciMtana ghI ane dUdhanA baLe sArI rIte thaI zake evI parApUrvanI dhAraNAthI sAMje thoDuM ghI paNa pI leto. eka bAju ciMtana zarU thAya ane bIjI bAju UMghadevatA mAthA upara savArI kare. jo e devatA phAve to bhaNavAnuM ja na bane. ane mANasano pagAra nakAmo jAya. eTale paMDitAu mArga lIdho. chIMkaNI sUMthuM ane UMghano bhAra kAMIka halako thAya. A rAhate chIMkaNIno mArga vadhAre mokaLo karyo. chIMkaNIthI thoDI vAra UMgha dabAya, paNa pAchI e to bevaDA vegathI dhasAro kare eTale chIMkaNInuM ane sUMghavAnuM ema baMne pramANa vadhatAM cAlyAM. A upAya kRtrima hato; paNa meM bIjAnI dekhAdekhIthI sAcA upAya tarIke ja enuM avalaMbana kareluM. nyAya ane darzanazAstranA adhyayane sAco upAya pUro pADyo na hato. AgaLa jatAM samajAyuM ke chIMkaNI e UMgha uDADavAno pUro upAya nathI. eno kharo upAya to halakuM ane parimita bhojana karavuM e ja che. A samajaNa AvyA pachI paNa chIMkaNIno cepa cAlu hato. enI puSTi to sAdhuonA paricayathI thaI. eka-be snehI ane bhalA sAdhuoe sugaMdhI madrAsI chIMkaNI ApI ane kahyuM ke, paMDitajI sUMghone ! maphata ja maLI raheze. e sugaMdhI ane maphatiyA mAle paNa vyasananI puSTimAM madada karI. I. sa. 1921mAM amadAvAdanI kaoNMgresanI prasiddha beThakanA divasomAM bIjA mitronI peThe kAkA kAlelakara paNa mArI pAse akSapAdanA nyAyasUtro vAMcatA. emanI samakSa chIMkaNI sUMghatAM zarama to ghaNI Ave, paNa Tevane baLe sUMghAI jAya eTale manamAM chIMkaNI pratye aNagamo to hato ja. daramiyAna eka rAte chIMkaNI kAMIka vadhAre sUMghatAM cakkara AvyAM. AthI ciDAI meM DabbIne khUba jorathI pheMkI dIdhI, paNa e mohinI khare ja mohinI hatI. tethI vaLI pAchI pAchaLa paDI. paNa enI ghRNA tema ja pariNAmono vicAra vadhye ja jatAM hatAM. chevaTe 1925mAM baLavAna saMkalpe eno tyAga karAvyo te Aja sudhI kAyama che. kharI rIte tamAku khAvAnA anubhavelA duSpariNAma pachI ja enA vividha sevananA pariNAma viSe vicAro AvavA joItA hatA, paNa apakva mAnasa ane ekAMgI zikSaNavALA jIvanamAM e AzA vadhAre paDatI kahevAya. tethI ja eka vAra tamAkunA sevana viSe bhAre bhUla karI beTho. have to uMmara lagabhaga pAMtrIsanI hatI. kAzImAM

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nizALanuM jIvana * 19 gaMgAtaTa upara raheto. aMDakozamAM kAMIka darada ane vadharAvaLa jevuM dekhAyuM. eka sAthInA kahevAthI tamAkunuM AkhuM pAMdaDuM garama karI e gyAe bAMdhI vAMcavA vicAravA besI gayo. bhojana tarata ja karI lIdheluM hatuM. cakkara ane UlaTI zarU thayAM. kolerA ke evo bIjo koI vyAdhi haze ema dhArI mitroe DaoNkTara ane vaidya mATe doDAdoDI karI. te Ave te pahelAM UThabesa thavAthI peluM pAMdaDuM khasI gayuM ane thoDI ja vAramAM AkAzI tophAna zame tema badhuM zamI gayuM ke tarata ja mane brahmajJAna thaI AvyuM ke are ! A badho upadrava to tamAkumAyAno ja che ane te ja kSaNe nizALanA jIvana vakhate khAdhela pAMdaDAnAM pariNAmo yAda AvatAM manamAM glAni pragaTI ke zikSaNasaMskAranI kevI kacAza? Ane dussAhasa kahevAya? bhaNato hato tyAre eka evI ghaTanA banI ke jene Aje mUrkhAmI mAnavI ke sAhasa mAnavuM e nakkI koNa kare? paNa tarka ane vicAra ema kahe che ke avicArathI bharela pagaluM paNa saphaLa nIvaDe to vyavahAramAM satsAhasa lekhAya che ane vicArapUrvaka bharela pagaluM paNa niSphaLa ke ghAtaka nIvaDe to te dussAhasa lekhAya che. banyuM ema ke, huM ane be mitro taLAva upara dizAe sAthe gayA. loTA mAMjI traNe zarata bakyA ke pAche pagale pALa upara paheluM koNa pahoMce che ? ane tyAMthI bIjI bAju pAche pagale paheluM nIce koNa Utare che? bIjI bAju UtaratI vakhate AgaLa javAnI dhUnamAM pAchaLa zuM Ave che te jovAyuM nahi ane huM jhADa sAcavavA karAyela hAthiyA thoranI vADamAM jaI paDyo. baMne sAthIo evA DarathI bhAgyA ke rakhe pADyAno Aropa mUkI temane koI vaDhe. daramiyAna avAja ane ho-hA sAMbhaLI te ja vakhate taLAva kinAre Avela mArA oghaDakAkA jovA doDyA tyAM to mane ja joyo. ghera cAreka kalAka pachI bebhAna sthitithI mukta thaI jouM chuM to khATale sUto chuM ane hajAma temaja bIjAo nAnAmoTA cIpiyA vatI kAMTA kADhI rahyA che. tema ja sIMcAyela tela cAmaDI uparathI TapakI rahyuM che. te vakhate vaDhavAnI dahezata to nakAmI siddha thaI ane be-cAra divase hImekhIme pharato thayo. A ghaTanA upara vicAra Ave che tyAre mAnavasvabhAvanuM eka pAsuM khulluM thAya che. ekalA karavAnAM kAmo paNa ghaNI vAra bIjA sAthe karavAM game che. eTalA mATe ke vAtomAM gammata paDe, ramata paNa thaI zake ane ISTa kAma to thAya ja. A mAnavasvabhAvathI ja huM prerAyelo. bhaya-abhayanA anubhavo e ja arasAmAM traNeka gAu dUra jasApura gAmamAM, vAliyA nAmanA eka hAthe TUMThA miyAMNAnI AgevAnI nIce, dhoLe divase dhADa pADelI. bacAva karatAM gAmano eka rajapUta marAyelo. dhADanI dhAka eTalI badhI phelAI ke ame rAte nizALamAM sUvA javAnI nA pADIe ane ghera paNa huM bhaIjInI soDamAM lapAIne sUI jato. bairAM ane chokarAMnAM

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20 * mAruM jIvanavRtta badhAM paherelAM ghareNAM tema ja vadhArAnAM badhAM pitAjI vaDhavANa zahera nAnI phaIne tyAM mUkI AvelA ane Aje jema sepha DipojhiTamAM jokhama mUkI hindu-musalamAnanA hullaDa prasaMge loko zaheramAM nirAMta anubhave che tema teo eka jAtanI nirAMta anubhavatA, paNa te vakhatanuM smaraNIya dazya to e yAda Ave che ke mukhI dhADathI bacavAnI jAtajAtanI taiyArIo gAma pAse karAvatA. gAmanI comera AvelI kAMTAnI vADane majabUta ane UMcI karAve, chIMDAM purAvI javA-AvavAno jhAMpo eka ja rAkhe, sAMje be puraviyAo sAthe pote gAmanI bahAra laTAra mAre, vArApharatI rajapUtone jhAMpe suvaDAve, paNa ame to roja nitya navI UDatI sAcI-khoTI dhADa paDyAnI aphavAo sAMbhaLavA talapApaDa rahetA ane sAMbhaLIne khUba DarI jatA. e divasomAM mahobatasiMha vagere traNa sagA bhAIo sAMje kAThiyAvADI garAsiyAnA phAMkaDA vezamAM talavAra-baMdUkathI sajja thaI gAma bahAra kAMIka dUra sudhI jatA. bIjAo sAthe huM paNa DaratAM DaratAM emanI pAchaLa jovA jato ke miyAMNA Ave to A zuM kare che? kyAreka e bhAIo jhADe nizAna bAMdhI goLIthI vIMdhatA. e joI mane bahu majA paDatI. nizAna AMTavAnA e rase mane tIra-kAmaThuM rAkhavA preryo. chatrInA saLiyAnuM kAmaThuM ane khapATanA tIro karI ame jhADe loTI ke nALiyera bAMdhI AMTavAnI ramata karatA. paNa mAro Dara kadI ocho thayelo nahi. jyAre sAMbhaLyuM ke coTIlAnA pahADamAM vAliyo marAyo ne miyAMNA pakaDAyA tyAre Dara ocho thayo. e ja mahobatasiMhe thoDAM varSa pachI cUDAnI sImamAM khAImAM bharAI beThela miyANAone mAravAmAM bahAdurI tema ja buddhino paricaya Apyo ane thANadAranI sAdhAraNa jagyAthI UMce caDI polIsakhAtAnA UMcA hoddA sudhI caDyo. huM jyAre kAzIthI pAcho phare tyAre ghaNI vAra e maLe ane keTalIka vAto pUche. A lakhuM chuM tyAre DozImAe temanA anubhavanI kahela vAta ane te vakhatanuM gAmaDAnuM saMgaThana yAda Ave che. DozImA kahetAM ke cotha ugharAvavA gAyakavADI ghoDA Ave. kyAreka gAmane lUMTe to vANiyA, brAhmaNa ane rajapUto badhA talavAra-baMdUka ke lAkaDI laI sAme thatA. mare paNa kharA ane mAre paNa kharA. ema kahI gharamAM paDela eka jUnI DhabanI baMdUka ane kATa khAdhela talavAranuM ThoThuM batAvatA, paNa Aje A sthiti sAva badalAyelI jouM chuM. kema ke lUMTaphATa vadhatAM bacAvanAM kazA ja sAdhana ane hiMmatane abhAve badhA ja vANiyAo gAma choDI zaheramAM AvI gayA che.

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3. sahajavRttio ane Tevo sahaja vRttio ane TevothI ja jIvana bane che tema ja ghaDAya che. kAMIka vadhAre samajaNa ane pakva avasthA vakhate mArA jIvane je je valaNa lIdhAM che te dekhItI rIte kizora, kumAra ane taruNa avasthAthI game teTalAM judAM paDatAM hoya chatAM atyAre vicAra karuM chuM tyAre e badhAM valaNonI aMdara sahaja vRttio ane Tevono ghaNe aMze saMvAda ja dekhAya che. vRttio ane Tevo pUrvasaMskArajanya janmasiddha ke vArasAgata saMskAro sahaja vRttimAM Ave ane pAchaLathI kuTuMba, samAja, zALAzikSaNa, samAgama ane sAhityamAMthI saMskAro maLe che te TevamAM Ave. sahaja vRttio ane TevonuM evuM raMgaberaMgI temaja jaTila mizraNa thaI jAya che ke te be vaccenI sImA, saraLatAthI bAMdhI zakAtI nathI. TevonuM cakra ajaba rIte niraMtara pharyA kare che. ghaNI kuTevo suTevanuM sthAna le che to ghaNI suTevo kuTevamAM pheravAI jAya che. vaLI kuTeva ane suTevanI vyAkhyA aneka rIte sApekSa hovAthI keTaleka prasaMge ane keTalIka bAbatomAM amuka Tevane kuTeva kahevI ke suTeva kahevI e paNa sApekSa banI jAya che. Ama hovA chatAM potAnA jIvana paratve huM pote je kAMI joI ane vicArI zakato houM te ja lakhavAnuM prApta thAya che. A dRSTie huM ahIM keTalIka sahaja vRttio ane Tevo viSe kahevA icchuM chuM, jethI AgalA jIvananI ghaTanAono kAMIka aMze khulAso thaI zake. jAtamahenata, kahyAgarApaNuM, ramatagamata ane sAhasapriyatA tema ja jijJAsA ane bauddhika bhUkha mukhyapaNe A sahajavRttio jIvanamAM pahelethI kAma karatI rahI che. jAtamahenatamAM mane kadI kaMTALo ke UtaratApaNuM nahi lAgeluM. khoraDA upara naLiyAM caDAvavAM hoya to doDIne jauM. mATInI bhIMtanI ke vaMDI caNAtI ke sudhArAtI hoya tyAre jAtamahenatI pitAjIne ke oDane gArAnA piMDA ApuM. varSo lagI cAle teTaluM ghAsa ane anAja bharI rAkhavAnI paitRka prathA pramANe vakhAromAM ghAsa bharavAnuM hoya tyAre TeDha-camAranA vAsamAMthI AvatI ghAsanI gAMsaDIone tema ja kheDUtone tyAMthI

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22 - mAruM jIvanavRtta AvatI hUra ane DAThAMnI gAMsaDIone vakhAromAM ThalavAvavI ane khUMdI khUMdI badhuM thappI baMdha karavuM emAM paNa madada ApuM. kheDUtakaLone tyAMthI ke bahArathI anAja Ave tyAre e DhagalAonI koThIo bharavI, temAM rAkha bheLavavI - emAM paNa pUro bhAga lauM. DAMgara ane kamodamAM sAbu tema ja lIMbaDAnAM pAMdaDAM bheLavavAM ane enI koThIo bharavI tema ja goLa Ave tyAre enA koThA bharavA - emAM paNa sahAyatA karuM. bIjAe batAveluM kAma karI ApavAnI ane na nakAravAnI vRtti paNa nAnapaNathI hatI. pitAjI vadhAre jAtamahenatI hatA; paNa badhA kAkAo vadhAre hukamabAja hatA. eTale e kAkAo ane bIjA loko paNa mArI vRtti joI mane satata navAM navAM kAma cIMdhe ane huM hoMzathI te badhAM karuM. ghaNI vAra Ane lIdhe bIjAnAM kAmo thatAM, paNa gharanuM kAma rahI jatuM. mArA moTAbhAInI vRtti mArAthI sAva judI. e mane jAtamahenatathI to na vAre, paNa huM kAkAo ane bIjAnAM kAmo AnAkAnI vinA karuM te temane pasaMda na paDe; ane mArA pratye ciDAya. tema ja kyAreka kahe ke bIjA vAste nakAmo zA mATe marI paDe che? mArA moTAbhAI to gharanuM kAma na kare to bIjAnuM kAma karavuM zAne pasaMda kare ? eTale pitAjI ane kAkAo badhA emane kAma batAvatAM saMkocAya; jyAre mane kAma karavAnuM kahetAM koI saMkocAya nahi. kuTuMbanI strIo paNa hoMzehoMze kAma le. A vRttie mArAmAM lokapriyatA janmAvelI. ramato te vakhate gAmaDAmAM saMbhavita hoya tevI badhI ramatomAM mane sahaja rasa hato. geDIdaDo ane bhamaraDA-bhamaraDI, gaMjIpho ane copATa, koDAM ane navakAMkarI, hutututu ane doDakUda vagere ramato bahu ramyo chuM. daDo jAte gUMthI cAmaDAthI maDhAvI leto. bhamaraDAbhamaraDI UMcethI pharatAM hAthamAM jhIlI leto ane ghaNI vAra enA uparanA TopakAmAM soI ke zULa parovI UMdhe moDhe enA upara pheravavAmAM majA mANato. gaMjIphA ane copATanI kharI mosama comAsAnAM navarAzanA divaso ane temAMya pajusaNanA divaso. kemake pajusaNamAM eka bAju kAmakAja nahi tema bIjI bAju ekAsaNA-upavAsane lIdhe khAnapAnanI khaTapaTa nahi, paraMtu gaMjIphA ane copATanI khaTapaTa eTalI badhI vadhI paDatI ke enA dAvapeca ane hArajItanI harIphAImAM ghaNI vAra sagA bhAIo ane mitro vacce paNa akSamya takarAro thatI. sAhasavRtti sAhasavRttimAM taravuM ane ghoDesavArIne mukhya gaNAvI zakAya. mArAthI kAMIka moTA chokarAo taLAvamAM taratA. huM chAtIsamA pANImAM Ubho rahI teonuM anukaraNa karavA mathato bathapaga pachADato, paNa AgaLa vadhI na zakato. eka vAra manamAM thayuM

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sahajavRttio ane Tevo. 23 ke, A loko be-eka hAtha dUra UMDA pANImAM eka paththara upara UbhA che ane bhUsakA mAre che to tyAM kema na pahoMcuM ? mananI ghaNI hA-nA pachI e bAju jhukAvyuM ane pANImAM DUbavA temaja gaLakAM khAvA lAgyo. jijIviSAe hAthapaga pachaDAvyA haze eTale pANI pI javA chatAM paNa te paththara para hAtha lAgI gayo ane hAza karI laI te upara caDI gayo. eka jAtano vijayAnaMda anubhavavA lAgyo, paNa pAchuM vaLAya kema e eka mUMjhavaNa; ane hamaNAM to mRtyudvAra sudhI pahoMcelo eTale rasto sUjhe nahi. vadhArAmAM vaDIlo jANe to vaDhavAno bhaya. chatAM bIjAnI dekhAdekhI ane bIjAnAM protsAhanathI kUdavAnuM sAhasa karI e be-eka hAtha UMDuM pANI dhabIne pasAra karyuM. basa A ja taravAnI kaLAnI prathama siddhi. pachI to AkhuM taLAva khUMdI vaLavA sudhI ane kUvAomAM bhUsakA mAravA sudhI AgaLa vadhyo. A sAhasavRttie eka vAra kAzImAM bhAre saMkaTa UbhuM karyuM. kArtika mahino. gaMgAnuM osaratuM, paNa ati vegIluM pUra; athAga UMDANa; ane AMkhe dekhAya nahi. eka mitra emAM jhaMpalAvatAM mane roke, jyAre bahutariyA bIjA mitra kahe ke, emAM zuM ? Akhare meM jaina ghATanI maDhI uparathI gaMgAmAM kUdako mAryo, paNa A kAMI gAmanuM taLAva ke kUvA na hatA. mArI badhI zakti ane taravAnI kaLAne gaMgAnA pUre niSphaLa siddha karavA mAMDyAM. huM kinArA bhaNI AvavA mathuM ane pUra mane bamaNA vegathI bIjI dizAmAM kelI jAya. chevaTe pelA tariyA mitra kUdI paDyA ane temanI janoInA tAMtaNAnA Teke huM kinAre pahoMcyo. tyAra bAda meM evo niyama karyo ke gaMgAmAM paDavuM hoya tyAre hAthe lAMbI dorI bAMdhI kinAre beThela eka jaNanA hAthamAM ApavI ke je mAro izAro pAmatAM ja kheMcI le. taravAmAM kAMIka aMze saphaLa thayo, paNa icchA ane prayatna chatAM jhADe caDavAnI kaLAmAM pUrNa saphLa na thayo te na ja thayo. amuka hada sudhI caDyA pachI hiMmata na cAle. eTale kadI Toce na pahoMcAyuM. pitAjIne eka ghoDuM ane kAkAone be-ema traNa ghoDAM to gharanAM ja mahemAnonAM ghoDAM lagabhaga roja hoya ja. eTale pANI pAvA javAne nimitte nAnI uMmarathI ghoDe caDavAnI Teva paDI ane teNe keTalAMka sAhaso paNa karAvyAM. eka gorI memane baMne paga eka bAju rAkhI ghoDe besI jatAM joyelI. eTale meM paNa koI na dekhe evI rIte sAmAnavALA ane sAmAna vinAnA ghoDA upara e prayoga karelo yAda che, paNa emAM bahu saphaLatA maLelI nahi, eka kocamaeNnane potAnA ghoDA upara Ubho rahI ghoDo calAvato meM joyelo eTale ema karavAnuM paNa mana thayuM. gharano ghoDo jANIto eTale tenA upara e prayoga zarU karyo. ane UbhA rahetAM veMta khasI paDyo eTale te prayoga tyAM ja viramyo. tema chatAM ghoDA upara caDI besavAnI ane tene doDAvavAnI hathoTI to amuka aMze AvI ja. te eTale sudhI ke AMkho gayA

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24 * mAruM jIvanavRtta pachI paNa ghaNI vAra jANItA ghoDA upara besI koInA doryA vinA calAvye javAnuM yAda che. ghoDA doDAvavAnI rasavRtti vadhAre vistarI. ghare leNAmAM DhorAMo AvatAM - emAM ghaNI vAra vAchaDAM, baLada ane gAyo paNa hoya. sArAM, puSTa ane dekhAvaDAM hoya evAM vAchaDA-baLada ane gAyone pANI pAvA javAmAM rasa na Avato teTalo te nimitte temane doDAvavAmAM ane temanA upara cAbakhA calAvavAmAM rasa Avato. tema chatAM ghoDAbaLadanA ekA ke gADI calAvavAnI hathoTI na lIdhI. vAMko rasto Ave ke UMcI-nIcI jamIna Ave agara sAmethI koI vAhana Ave tyAre lagAma ke rAza upara kAbU rAkhI zakto nahi. A ghoDAnI savArIe UMTa para besato karyo. AgaLa jatAM te upayogI siddha thayuM. mosamamAM rokaDa levA vaDhavANa javuM hoya tyAre pitAjI mane mokalavA lAgyA. pahelAM to e UMcuM prANI mALa jevuM lAgyuM, paNa pachI kAMIka phAvI gayuM. UMTanI chellI savArI ane chello tyAga UMTanI priya pitRbhUmi mAravADamAM ja thayo. I. sa. 1928nA comAsAmAM jAlora (jodhapura)thI pAchA pharatAM nasIbe UMTa AvyuM. huM ane mArA sAthI zaMbhuprasAda beThA to kharA; paNa uSTrarAjanuM pralobhana to bIjuM ja hatuM. lIMbaDA ane pIparanI lIlIchama kUMpaLa dekhe ne UMTa te bhaNI vaLe. zaMbhuprasAda kAbU rAkhI zake nahi ane uSTramahArAja ghaNI vAra amArI leza paNa paravA karyA sivAya sIdhA jhADa nIcethI ja pasAra thAya, jhADanI DALIothI be-cAra vAra moDhuM ane chAtI ghasAyAM. jhADa Ave che. nIcA vaLajo evI sUcanA zaMbhuprasAda Ape te pahelAM to taTastha deva jhADa nIcethI pasAra thaI jAya. A bhayasthAna joI tatkALa nakkI karyuM ke cAlIne jaIza, paNa UMTa para nahi besuM. UMTanA mAlike ghaNuM samajAvyo, paNa te vakhate UMTa choDyuM te hajI lagI choDyuM ja che. jijJAsA nizALanI copaDIomAM hAthInuM citra joyeluM, paNa hAthI jovAnI taka to lImalImAM hatI ja nahi. eka vAra e ajaba prANI gAmanA pAdaramAMthI jAya che evA samAcAra maLatAM ja ame dUra dUra sudhI ene jovA pAchaLa gayelA. enuM kada, enI cAla, enI sUMDha, enA dAMta ane satata kriyAzIla kAno e badhuM bhAre AkarSaka hatuM; paNa amArI cAla ene pahoMcI vaLe tema na hatI eTale kAMIka adhUre darzane ja pAchA pharyA, paraMtu dharAI-dharAIne hAthI jovAnI taka to vi. saM. 1952nA ghaNuM karI mAgazara mAsamAM vAMkAnera jAnamAM gayo tyAre ja maLI. darabAragaDhamAM hAthI Ave, Ubho rahe, mahAvatanA izArAthI salAma kare e suMdara darzana mArA mATe paheluM ane chelluM hatuM.

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sahajavRttio ane Tevo * 25 bhaNatI vakhate mAstara zIkhave temAM agara pAchaLathI pATha taiyAra karavAmAM bedarakArI rAkhyAnuM yAda nathI. nizALa bahAranA grAmya jIvanamAM paNa navuM navuM jANavAnI jijJAsAne sAcI ke khoTI rIte saMtoSavAnI tako sAMpaDatI. cAraNabhATo Ave ane core besI jAtajAtanI kaLAmaya rIte vAto mAMDe. zrAvaNa ane adhika mAsamAM brAhmaNa-purANI rAmAyaNa ke mahAbhArata core besI vAMce. avAra-navAra amuka jANakAra ThAkaraDAo ke Agantuka bAvA saMnyAsIo tulasI-rAmAyaNa vAMce. ThAkora dvArA ane coro gharanI pAse ja eTale tyAM jaI e badhuM sAMbhaLavA kheMcAto. jaina sAdhu-sAdhvIo comAsA sivAyanA divasomAM Ave. ane pAMca-paMdara divasa rokAya. teo savAre, bapore ane rAtre zAstra vAMce, rAsAo gAya ane dharmakathAo kare. samajaNa paDe ke na paDe chatAM e sAMbhaLavA lalacAto. A uparAMta gAma bahAra dharmazALAmAM strI-puruSonAM saMmilita samudAya vaDe gavAtAM kabIrapaMthI bhajano paNa kyAreka kyAreka lalacAvatAM. koI paNa nAnA moTAM jAhera pustakAlayanI ke khAnagI pustakonI sagavaDa na hovA chatAM uparanA prasaMgomAMthI kAMIka jijJAsA saMtoSAtI. jijJAsA saMtoSavAno ane rasavRtti poSavAno eka bahu sarala tathA suMdara mArga paNa te jamAnAmAM gAmaDAMomAM bahu preraka ane pracalita hato. te mArga kanyAo ane strIonA garabA tema ja gANAMono. jANItI zerIe zerIe taruNa kanyAo ane strIo ToLe vaLe. emAM keTalIka meghANInA meghasvare gavarAve ane bIjI goLa phUdaDI pharatI temaja tAla letI letI jhIle. gopIonI A rAsalIlAmAM kyAreka dhRSTa puruSottama bhaLe tyAre strIomAM nAsAnAsa ane bhAgAbhAganuM ramUjI daye upasthita thAya. garabAo ane gANAMonA vividha rAgo, enuM vastu ane enI tAlabaddhatAnuM te vakhate jarA paNa zAstrIya jJAna na hatuM, chatAM A badhuM netra ane manane bahu AlAdaka lAgatuM. tema ja emAMnuM vaktavya samajavA mana kAMIka mathatuM paNa kharuM. tera-cauda varSanI uMmara lagI A rIte jijJAsA kAMIka saMtoSAI ane tethI vadhAreya aMze to uttejAI. aMgrejI bhaNataranuM AkarSaNa moTAbhAI vaDhavANa zaheramAM aMgrejI hAIskUlamAM bhaNatA. rajAmAM Ave tyAre teonuM gAmaDAmAM durlabha evuM cAmaDAnA paTTAnuM mohaka daphatara jovA maLe. raMga raMganA holDaro ane pensilo hoya. gAmaThI nizALamAM nahi joyelI AkarSaka pAkA pUMThAnI, lIsA kAgaLa upara chapAyelI copaDIo hoya. bhAIno Dresa paNa mana kheMce. e bUTa, e koTa, e TopI gAmaDAmAM sulabha ane pracalita nahi. sulabha hoya toya evo veza paherIne cAlatAM zaramAI javuM paDe ane ghara bahAra nIkaLavAnI dhRSTatA thaI zake ja | nahi.

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26 * mAruM jIvanavRtta A vastuo aMgrejI bhaNatara tarapha AkarSatI hatI kharI; paNa kharuM AkarSaNa to UMDe UMDe bIjuM ja hatuM. aMgrejInA cAreya kakkA lakhatAM vAMcatAM AvaDe enI bhAre bhUkha. emAM lakhAyela copaDIo bhAI vAMce tevI rIte vAMcavA ane samajavAnuM mana. cAreka aMgrejI copaDI bhaNela eka kazaLasiMha nAmanA garAsiyAe kayAreka tUTIphUTI aMgrejImAM eka sAheba sAthe be-cAra vAkyomAM vAta karelI joyelI tenI chApa mana upara paDelI. tema ja mULI koraTe cAlatA amArA koI phojadArI kesamAM baMne pakSanA berisTaro evI jhapATAbaMdha aMgrejI bole che ke jethI bicAro maganalAla nyAyAdhIza paNa gabharAya che - AvI vaDIlonA mukhathI saMbhaLAtI vAtonI asara - A badhuM mane aMgrejI bhaNavA tarapha lalacAvI rahyuM hatuM ane mana kUdakA mArI rahyuM hatuM ke nizALa pUrI thaze ke vaDhavANa jaI aMgrejI bhaNIza. A manoratha mArA manamAM puSTa thato jato hato, paNa bIjI bAju enI viruddha kauTuMbika mAnasa sarjAI rahyuM hatuM. vAta evI hatI ke moTAbhAI meTrikamAM nApAsa thayela. emanuM zaherI kharcALuM jIvana, dhULI nizALa bahAra nahi gayela pitAjIne, vadhAre paDatuM lAgyuM haze. pitAjI ekalA ane dhaMdho puSkaLa. kAmamAM bhAga paDAvanAra aMgata koI nahi, ane moTAbhAI to pitAjInA dhaMdhAlAyaka te vakhate hatA ja nahi. tema ja temano svabhAva pitAjIne bahu anusaravAno na hato eTale pitAjInuM mana saheje mArI tarapha vaLyuM. emane pratIti thaI ke sukhalAla mane madadagAra thaze. emanI A vAtanI puSTi kAkAo ane bApue paNa karI, kAraNa ke te badhAnuM kAma huM hoMze hoMze karato ane mArA moTAbhAI to emanAthI dUra rahetA. sAtamI copaDImAM pAsa thayo ke meM pitAjI pAse aMgrejI bhaNavAnI vAta kADhI; paNa temaNe ane bIjA badhAe mane kAMIka samajAvIne ane kAMIka dabANathI kahI dIdhuM ke tArA bApAne bIjuM koNa sahAyaka che? moTAbhAI lIluM nahi kare ane aMgrejI vinA kyAM kAma aTake che ? ame badhA kyAM aMgrejI bhaNyA chIe ! ItyAdi. bhaNavAnuM mana chatAM tyAra bAda meM zarama-bharamAMthI ane vaDIlo pratyenI pracalita AmanyAthI kadI e viSe vAta kADhI ja nahi ane e jijJAsA tyAM ja gUMgaLAI. nAmuM, ADha, jIna ane presane lagatAM zarUAtanAM kAmo svataMtrapaNe karavA lAgyo. agharAM tema ja AgaLanAM kAmo anubhavI ane vaDIlonA sahakArathI karato. moTAbhAInA lagna to prathama ja thaI gayelAM. moTIbahenanAM lagna vi. saM. 195ranA mAha sudi pAMcame thayAM. te vakhate mArAM lagna paNa patAvI nAMkhavAnI pitAjInI ane pitAmahInI icchA. sasarA kabUla thayA hota to, pUrI ja thaI hota ane huM tema ja e kanyA kAcI uMmare suvarNa jALamAM jakaDAyAM paNa hota, paraMtu bhAvi juduM ja nirmAyuM hatuM eTale e vAta te vakhate laMbAI.

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4. dhArmika saMskAro vi. saM. 1925 ane 1953nA varSa daramiyAna je je joyuM ane anubhavyuM te pahelAM karatAM kAMIka vadhAre sacoTa hatuM. A samaya kaumArajIvananI samApti ane yauvananA prAraMbha vacceno hato. tethI te vakhatanAM avalokana, zravaNa, sparzana ane AsvAdana e mAtra sthUla indriyonI tRptimAM ja virAma na pAmatAM paNa agamya rIte vAsanAono aMcaLo kAMIka aMze kheMcI tenA tAra dhIre dhIre jhaNajhaNAvatAM. A be varSomAM joyelAM keTalAMka sthaLo ane prasaMgonI bahu UMDI asara mana upara paDelI. ethI AgaLanA jIvanamAM keTalAka lAbho paNa thayA che ane nuksAna paNa anubhavyuM che. e be varSomAMnA aneka lagnaprasaMge je phaTANApradhAna gIto sAMbhaLelAM ke je nirlajja chatAM samAjamAM pracalita strI-puraSonA hAvabhAvo joyelA tema ja je avaijJAnika ane apathyakara miSTAnno temaja mAlamalIdAo mAtra svAdavRtti ane gatAnugatiktAthI khAdhelAM - te badhAe AgaLa jatAM jIvanano vicAra karavAmAM madada ApI to bIjI bAjue tajjanya kusaMskAroe keTalIka alanAo paNa karAvI. be sthAnakavAsI dIkSA ghaNuM karI vi. saM. 195ramAM eka moTo dIkSA-prasaMga vaDhavANa zaheramAM joyelo. be kumAro sthAnakavAsI dIkSA levAnA hatA. mArAM dhanADhya sagAMone tyAMthI vArApharatI moTA varaghoDAo caDatA. umedavAro ghareNAM ThAMsI ghoDe caDatA. prabhAvanAo thatI ane cotho Aro vatyanI vAta eka cheDethI bIjA cheDA sudhI saMbhaLAtI. dhArmika jaina niyamo navadIkSita baMne sAdhuo, guru sAthe, prathama ja amAre gAma AvelA. emanA guru amIcaMdajI RSi amArA kuLaguru jevA hovAthI mArA paNa bahumAnya hatA. huM emanI badhI sAdhucaryAne sIdhI mahAvIrathI UtarI AvelI samajato. te vakhate koNa jANatuM hatuM ke huM ja e dharmacaryAne AgaLa jatAM chaNIza ane e guruonI maryAdAnuM mUlya paNa AMkIza ! amIcaMdajI mahArAjanA ziSya uttamacaMdajI. te sAva bhoLA ane hasamukha. teo narakanAM citro dekhADI mArI jijJAsA saMtoSatA. tapta loDhAnI pUtaLIone

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28 * mAruM jIvanavRtta AliMgatA puruSonAM citro, sAMkaDA moDhAnI kuMbhIomAMthI cIpiyA vatI bahAra kheMcI kADhatAM mAnavonAM citro, sApa, vIMchI jevAM jherI prANIothI DaMkhAtA narakavAsIonAM citro tema ja ziMgaDAMvALA paramAdhAmIonAM bhayAnaka citro - A badhuM kutUhala to upajAvatuM paNa bIjI bAju vicAra ema Avato ke jo pApanAM phaLa AvAM hoya to enAthI kema bacavuM? sAdhuo kadI jUThuM bole ja nahi ane teo to zAstrajJa eTale bahu UMDuM samaje e zraddhA pADI hatI. eTale teo rasto batAve te ja kharo mAnavo rahyo. sAdhusAdhvIo rasto e batAvatAM ke pApathI chUTavuM hoya to dIkSA lyo. dIkSA na laI zako to sAmAyika-pratikramaNa karo, lIlotarI ane kaMdamULa na khAvAnI bAdhA lyo, sAdhu-sAdhvInI vaiyAvacca (sevA) karo ane brahmacaryavrata lyo. mane emanI A vAta gamatI ane vividha bAdhA-paccakhANa karavA uparAMta sAmAyika karato tema ja rAtribhojana na karavAno niyama pALato. navAM sAdhu-sAdhvI Ave ane vaLI navI navI bAdhAo levAya. kayAreka nAhavAno ja tyAga, to kyAreka jaLAzayamAM paDavAno tyAga; paNa ghaNA bhAge to nitya vaparAtI zAkabhAjIno ja tyAga hoya. keTalIka vAra ekAsaNA ke upavAsano niyama paNa Ave. koI koI vAra niyamamAM namokAra gaNIne ja dAtaNa karavuM e paNa Ave. mULe gUMgaLAyelI jijJAsAmAMthI eka jAtanA dhArmika jIvananuM vaheNa zarU thayuM. divasa chatAM jamI covihAra karI levAnI Teva e ja uMmare eTale sudhI paDelI ke nizALathI sAMje jaladI na chuTAya to laghuzaMkA ke vaDIzaMkAne bahAne doDAdoDa ghare pahoMcI javuM ane garama rasoI na thaI hoya to ThaMDu je hoya te jaladI jaladI khAI, pANI pI nizALe pahoMcI jAuM. sthAnakavAsI ane mUrtipUjaka sAdhuno bheda moTe bhAge sthAnakavAsI sAdhu-sAdhvIo ja gAmamAM AvatAM. chatAM kyAreka kyAreka mUrtipUjaka paraMparAnAM sAdhu-sAdhvI paNa AvI caDatAM. AmAMthI dAdA khAMtivijayajIno vRddha ane tapasvI tema ja tejasvI cahero Aja paNa mAnasacakSu sAme evo ja tAdaza khaDo thAya che. gAmanA badhA jainonI sAdhu-sAdhvI pratye gaccha ane phirakAnA bheda vinA nirvizeSa bhakti rahetI eTale mAruM valaNa paNa evuM ja hatuM. chatAM kuLa-dharma sthAnakavAsI ane kuLaguruo paNa te phirakAnAM sAdhu-sAdhvIo. ethI gaLathuthImAMthI ja evo saMskAra paDelo ke mUrtipUjaka phirako sthAnakavAsI phirakA karatAM AcAravicAramAM zithila hoya che; kema ke te jaDamUrtine mAne che, te upara phUla caDAve che ane maMdiramAM bahu pANI paNa DhoLe che ItyAdi. tema ja mUrtipUjaka sAdhuo paNa sthAnakavAsI sAdhuo jevA AcAramAM kaDaka hotA nathI. teo bahu chUTa le che, pAlakhImAM bese che; ane majUro pAse bojo UMcakAve che ityAdi.

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dhArmika saMskAro * 29 giranArI bAlA hanumAnadAsajI Ama chatAM, huM to AvanAra dareka sAdhu-sAdhvIne vahorAvavA jude jude ghare laI javAnI ane bIjI joItI cIjo meLavI ApavAnI ekasarakhI bhakti karato. vizeSa sahavAsa to jaina sAdhu-sAdhvIono ja hato; chatAM gAmaDuM eTale bIjA bAvA ke saMnyAsIo Ave ane te sArA che ema saMbhaLAya tyAre temanI pAse paNa to. uMmara kAcI ane saMpradAya pArako eTale saMkocAtAM saMkocAtAM ja temanI pAse javAnuM banatuM. A javaraavarane pariNAme meM te vakhate je eka tejasvI ane gaMbhIra caherAnA bAvAne joyelA tene huM kadI bhUlI zakyo nathI. ghaNuM karI vi. saM. 1952mAM ja e prasaMga Avelo. gAma bahAra pAkI dharmazALAno navesara pAyo naMkhAyo tyAre e dharmazALA baMdhAvanAra jIjIbhAI, je te vakhate sAva taruNa hatA ane bahu lobhI, paNa bhagata gaNAtA te, jUnAgaDhathI hanumAnadAsa nAmanA eka bAvAne laI AvelA. hanumAnadAsa jUnAgaDha-giranAra pahADamAM rahe che, yogI che, samAdhi caDAve che ane camatkArI che evI vAto sAMbhaLI eTale gAma bahAra teo lokonA ToLA vacce beThA hatA tyAM huM paNa zaramAtA zaramAtAM pahoMcI gayo. temanA hAthe badhAnI peThe mane paNa sAkaranI prasAdI maLI temaNe lAMbI kaphanI paherelI, UMco Topa mAthe nAkhelo, hAthamAM nAnI mALA, zarIra bharAvadAra ane paDachaMda, cahero kAMIka lAMbo tema ja zAmaLo chatAM tejasvI ane mauna chatAM kAMIka oIspaMdana cAle. hanumAnadAsajInI gAmanAM ghaNAM gharomAM gAjategAjate padharAmaNI thayelI. teo cAlIne jatA. A dayanI mana upara je chApa te vakhate paDelI te karatAM UMDI chApa to e bAbata jANI paDelI ke hanumAnadAsajI DhaMDhavADAmAM paNa samAnabhAve jAya che ane tyAMthI pAchA pharI nathI nahAtA ke nathI chAMTa letA. te vakhate A tattva samajavuM mAre mATe to zuM, paNa bhalAbhalA mATe agharuM hatuM, paraMtu enA upara pAchaLathI jyAre jyAre vicAra Avyo che tyAre ema ja lAgyuM che ke nAtajAtanA ane UMcanIcanA bheda vinA samagra mAnavatAmAM mAnanAra saMtomAMnA e eka hovA joIe. nahi to e jamAnAmAM ane e rUDha samAjamAM evI nirbhaya hiMmata bIjo koNa kare? jIjIbhAInA jIvanamAM palaTo lAvanAra paNa e ja saMta. cAra bhAImAM nAnA jIjIbhAI. hanumAne svapnamAM AvI sUcavela jagyAthI dhana laI AvanAra jazAbhAIno mukhya vAraso e nAnA dIkarAne maLelo. jIjIbhAInAM mA ane patnI hayAta hatAM. temane te vakhate saMtAna na hatuM. jIjIbhAI vANiyAzAI dhIradhAramAM paisA pherave. koNa jANe kayAMthI emane hanumAnadAsajI kyAMka bheTyA ! pachI to jIjIbhAI giranAra bhAgI jAya, ane tyAM vizeSa rahe. gAmamAM ochuM Ave ane Ave tyAre paNa gAma bahAra ja rahe. mahine mahine gAmanA badhA chokarAone bhAta, goLa ane ghI khavarAve. raste jatA musAphara ke bAvA bhikhArIne maDhImAM Azaro Ape ane khAvAnI paNa jogavAI karI Ape. gAmanA loko to te vakhate paNa emane DhoMgI kahetA ane mAnatA

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30 * mAruM jIvanavRtta ke je ATalo lobhI che te kAMIka matalabasara ja Ama dharama karama karato haze. e strI sAthe to ghera raheto ja nathI ItyAdi. jIjIbhAI hanumAnadAsane gAmamAM lAvyA, dharmazALA baMdhAvI sadAvrata zarU karyuM ane bIjAM keTalAMka dharmakAryo karyA tyAre paNa loko emane viSe sAzaMka hatA. paraMtu koNa jANe mAruM mana emanA pratye e uMmare paNa akaLa rIte AkarSAtuM ! kAzIthI pahelavahelo vi. saM. 1963mAM ane tyAra pachI jyAre gAmamAM pAcho Avato tyAre jIjIbhAIne maLavAnI taka sAMpaDatI. mArI sthiti ane uMmara badalAyAM hatAM. jIjIbhAIne maLavAnI taka sAMpaDatI. mArI sthiti ane uMmara badalAyAM hatAM. jIjIbhAI mane bahu nikhAlasa bhAve maLatA. emanI e sArvajanika dharmazALAmAM khuzIthI huM jato ane tyAM AvI. UtarelA koI yogya sAdhu-saMta hoya to temane bheTato. jIjIbhAI gujarI gayA pachI gAmamAM gayelo tyAre AkhA gAmamAM ane bahAranA samAjamAM emanI suvAsa ajaba rIte prasarelI sAMbhaLI. mArA aMgata mitro je pahelAM emanI TIkA karatA teoe ja mane kahyuM ke kharI rIte jIjIbhAIne koIe oLakhyA ja na hatA. te gRhastha chatAM sAdhu karatAMya vadhAre pavitra ane satyavAdI hatA. jIjIbhAInA A jIvanaparivartanamAM bAlA hanumAnadAsano ja prabhAva kAraNabhUta hato ema mane, vicAra karatAM, lAge che. e giranArI hanumAnadAsa che samabhAvI ane prabhAvazALI avadhUta bAvAnA caherAnuM darzana mArA jIvanamAM paheluM ane chelluM ja hatuM. joke AgaLa jatAM bIjA keTalAya yogI saMtone bheTyo chuM paNa e to mAtra bheTa, nahi ke sAkSAt cakSudarzana. jaina sAdhunA AcAra jaina sAdhu-sAdhvIo ughADe page cAle, kezano lo, phare, potAno bhAra pote UMcake ane pagapALA cAle. potAnA mATe taiyAra karavAmAM nathI Avela evI khAtarI thayA pachI ja amuka maryAdAonuM pAlana karI gRhasthone tyAMthI AhArapANI le. garama pANI na maLe tyAre cokhAnAM ke bIjAM tevAM dhovANanAM pANI tema ja kuMbhArane tyAMthI mATI palALela ghaDAmAMthI pANI lAvI, tene AkaravA daI, nitArI zuddha karI te vApare. A badhuM e uMmare najare joto. te uparAMta gRhastho ane sAdhuo dvArA hasate moDhe AcarAtA aThavADiyA, pakhavADiyA ane mAsanA upavAso paNa joyelA. eka vAra te be mahinAnA lAgalagaTa upavAsa karela eka mAravADI sAdhvInAM darzana paNa bhAvabhaktithI sAzcaryamane karelAM. e ja uMmare eka vAra khare bapore sakhata unALAmAM vaDhavANanA bhogAvAnI Aga varasatI retImAM ughADe Dile AtApanA lenAra eka mAravADI sAdhunAM darzana karelAM. tyAM sAkaranuM pANI pIvA sAthe hajAro darzanArthIonI bhIDa joyelI. A badhI vastusthitine lIdhe te vakhate mArI dharmanI samajaNa mukhyapaNe kriyAkAMDa, dehadamana, tapazcaryA ane paraMparAgata zAstrazravaNamAM ja samAI jatI. AthI vadhAre UMDI ane sAcI samajaNa meLavavAnI te vakhate na hatI koI sAmagrI, ke na hatI tevI paristhiti. eTale ATalI samajaNanA vartuLamAM ja te vakhatanuM jIvana cakkara mAratuM

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5. sAmAjika nabaLAIo vi. saM. 15ranA ziyALAmAM moTI bahenanAM lagnano ane e ja varSanA zaraskALamAM DosImAnA kArajano ema be sArA-narasA prasaMgo ghera AvelA. te vakhate je kanyA sAthe mAruM nAnapaNathI ja vevizALa thayeluM te kanyA paNa enI baheno sAthe AvelI. eka brAhmaNanA moDhethI enA rUpanI prazaMsA nAnapaNathI sAMbhaLelI. kAMIka e kAraNe ane kAMIka uMmarane kAraNe e kanyAnuM moTuM joI levAnI utkaMThA pragaTelI. e utkaMThAe kAmanA ke bIjA koI paNa bahAnA taLe nArImaMDaLavALA oraDAmAM sUcanA ApyA vinA ja javA prerelo. paNa kaMIka aMze paraMparAgata rivAjane lIdhe ane vizeSa aMze kanyAsulabha zaramanA paDadAne lIdhe mArA e prayatnane khAsa saphaLatA maLelI nahi, paraMtu A saMskAranI mArA mana upara ajJAtapaNe je eka asara thaI hatI teNe mArA pachInA vicArajIvana daramiyAna nirNayo bAMdhavAmAM bhAre phALo Apyo che. tethI eno ullekha ahIM Avazyaka che. lagna-maraNanA varA sattA ke adhikAranI, vidvattA ke dhanopArjananI koI dhyAna kheMce evI pratiSThA meLavI na hoya tyAM lagI vaDIlonAM vicAra ke vartana viruddha kazuM ja thaI na zake evA vAtAvaraNamAM UcharanAra mATe svataMtrapaNe vicAra karavAnI zakti hoya toya te vikasavAno saMbhava ja nathI. tethI e uMmare gharamAM je bane tene mUMge moDhe anusaravAnuM ja mArA jevA mATe bAkI rahe te svAbhAvika che. kAMIka dekhAdekhIthI, kAMIka mobhAnA khyAlathI ane khAsa karIne to samaya pArakhavAnI zaktinA tema ja navo cIlo pADavAnI hiMmatanA abhAve pitAjIe e baMne prasaMgomAM gajA bahAra jaI ADaMbarI kharca karelo. enI emanA upara paDelI tANa dareka rIte chupAvyA chatAM paNa e umare kAMIka mArA dhyAnamAM AvI ja gayelI. eka tarapha nirarthaka ADaMbarI kharca karavo ane bIjI tarapha mUMguM tANa veThavuM e visaMvAda te vakhate eTalo badho spaSTa thayelo nahi, paNa tyAra bAda kuTuMbanA vAtAvaraNamAMthI mukta rahevAnI ane svataMtrapaNe vicAra karavAnI sthitie pahoMcyo ke tarata ja kuTuMbamAM anubhavelo ane samAjamAM sarvatra cAlato e visaMvAda dhyAna upara

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32 * mAruM jIvanavRtta Avyo ane te ja vakhate lagna-maraNanA ke bIjA tevA varA viSe meM khAsa nirNayo bAMdhyA. emAMthI kuTuMba pUrato mAro nirNaya e baMdhAyo ke, uMmara pahoMcela hoya tema ja jIvanamAM jarUrI evI yogyatA prApta karela hoya tevAM saMtAnonuM binakharcALa ane sAduM lagna thatuM hoya to ja temAM bhAga levA javuM. A nirNaya pramANe huM chellA cALIza varSa thayAM kaDaka rIte varyo chuM ane mArA aMgata kuTuMba tema ja ati nikaTanAM sagAMsaMbaMdhIomAM seMkaDo lagna thaI gayAM chatAM emAM kyAre paNa meM bhAga lIdho nathI. ane have to bhAIo ke kuTuMbIo sudhdhAMe kaMkotarI lakhavI paNa choDI dIdhI che. kAraNa ke teo Icche toya mArA Adarzane anusaravA amuka prathA bahAra pagaluM bharI zakatA nathI. kAranI bAbatamAM paNa mAro kaDaka nirNaya e baMdhAyo che ke enI kazI ja jarUra nathI ane ghaNI vAra to te nimittanuM jamaNa behUduM paNa banI jAya che. I. sa. 1919nA ghaNuM karI DisembaramAM pitAjInA maraNaprasaMge pU punAthI lImalI gayelo. meM mAro kArajasaMbaMdhI makkama nirNaya bhAIo tema ja kAkAone saMbhaLAvI dIdho. moTAbhAIne to e bhAvatuM ja thayuM, paNa nAnA bhAIo, kAkAo tema ja bIjI DozIonI sAme UbhA rahevAnI hiMmata e batAvI zakyA nahi. eTale meM tarata ja gherathI AgrA javAno mArga lIdho, paNa hamaNAM ghI bahu moMghu che, kAMIka sastuM thaye jarUra kAraja karIzuM evA moTAbhAInA vicAre e kArajanA prasaMgane Thelyo te haMmezane mATe ThelAyo ja. Aje to jyAre badhA kuTuMbIo ane bhAIo maLe che tyAre AnaMdathI kahe che ke tamAruM kahevuM mAnatA na hatA temane paNa saMjogoe mAnatA karyA che ane have to kAraja karavuM sau bhUlI paNa gayA che. cokhkhAIno abhAva gujarAta, kAThiyAvADa ane kacchamAM ghaNA samAjo evA che ke jemAM cokhkhAInA khyAlo bahu ja ochA che. AnuM kAraNa kAMIka aMze nirjala mAravADanA prAcIna vasavATanI paraMparAmAM haze, kAMIka aMze musalamAnonA vadhAre paDatA sahavAsa ane prabhAvamAM haze, kAMIka aMze vyApAra ane khetInA dhaMdhAne lagatI raheNIkaraNInI avyavasthAmAM haze to kAMIka aMze bhrAnta ane uparachalI dhArmika mAnyatAomAM haze; kAraNa game te hoya, paNa vastusthiti e ja che. sArAmAM sArAM khAnapAna hoya chatAM eThAM-jUThAMno viveka nahi, pANI gaLIne pIvAnI pUrI sAvadhAnI chatAM tenuM vAsaNa ekabIjAnA ucchiSTa pAtrathI avADA jevuM bane. cokhkhAM ane bhapakAdAra kapaDAM paheravAnI pratiSThA hovA chatAM sagavaDamAMya nitya snAnavidhino anAgraha, moTAM makAna ane vADAonI sagavaDa hoya tyAMya maLamUtra mATenI samucita vyavasthAno abhAva, mUlyavAna pakvAno ane bhAre jamaNo thatAM hoya chatAMya jagyAnI acokhkhAI-AvI rItabhAtanA kusaMskAro mArAmAM na Utare e saMbhavita ja

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sAmAjika nabaLAIo * 33 na hatuM. kAMIka samajaNa AvatI gaI toya jyAM lagI janmagata samAja na choDuM tyAM lagI mAre mATe ghara ane dezamAM evA saMskArothI chUTavAno koI rasto hoya tema atyAre paNa dekhAtuM nathI. AMkho gayA pachI keTalAka kusaMskAro tarapha sUga vadhatI cAlyAnuM yAda che. zaucakarma pachI betraNa vAra rAkhathI hAtha dhoto tyAre mazkarImAM eka vaDIle Takora karyAnuM paNa yAda che ke durgadha sAthe cAmaDI kADhI na nAMkhato! - ghara ane gAmanA samAjamAM to cokhkhAIno bodhapATha Ape ane kaDakapaNe tenuM pAlana karAve evuM koI hatuM ja nahi, paraMtu jyAre kAzI gayo tyAre paNa zarUAtanAM traNa varSomAM e saMskAromAM khAsa phera paDyo nahi. je jaina pAThazALAmAM huM hato tyAM jaina sAdhuonuM ekachatra rAjya ane vidyArthIo paNa moTe bhAge gujarAta-kAThiyAvADanA jaina ja. be-cAra brAhmaNa vidyArthIo potAnI vArasAgata cokhkhAInI vadhAre kALajI rAkhavA jatA to keTalIka vAra jaina vidyArthIo tema ja sAdhuo sAthe temane athaDAmaNImAM paNa AvavuM paDatuM. cokhkhAI bAbatamAM e brAhmaNa vidyArthIono pakSa ane emanI rItabhAta mane gamatAM ane e tarapha mAruM AkarSaNa vadhatuM jatuM hatuM, paNa tyAMnI paristhitimAM judI rIte jIvana ghaDavAnuM zakaya dekhAtuM na hatuM. e pAThazALAthI chUTo paDI huM kAzImAM ja judo eka susaMskArI brAhmaNa kuTuMba sAthe rahevA lAgyo tyAre mArI TevomAM palaTo Avyo. te eTale lagI ke have mArAthI eThuM pANI ke koInAM eThAM vAsaNamAM ANela cokhkhuM pANI sudhdhAM pI zakAtuM nahi. dezamAM Avato ane ghera ke bIje jyAM jyAM jato tyAM juduM pANI bharAvI rAkhato ane ghaNI vAra ISTa sagavaDa na maLe tyAM lagI tarasyo paNa raheto. e ja rIte bIjA ghaNA AhAra-vihAra-nihArane lagatAM saMskAromAM pAchaLathI phera paDyo che. tema chatAM Aje huM chAtI upara hAtha mUkI ema kahevAno dAvo nathI karI zakato ke huM cokhkhAInI bAbatamAM dakSiNIonI haroLamAM besI zakIza. mAre nyAya khAtara ahIM e paNa kahI devuM joIe ke cokhkhAInI bAbatamAM Akho jaina samAja pachAta nathI. uttara pradeza ane pUrva dezanA jainonI cokhkhAInI paraMparA koI paNa bIjA susaMskArI samAjathI jarA paNa Utare tevI nathI. alabatta, muMbaI-kalakattA jevAM zaheromAM AvI vasela ke saMskAra pAmela evA gujarAtakAThiyAvADanA jainomAM paNa pahelAM karatAM ghaNo phera paDyo che. chatAM A sudhAro hajI dharamULathI ane vyApaka rIte thayo nathI. zItaLA ane vahemo vi. saM. 1953no unALo Avyo. hoLI pachI kyAreka huM dhaMdhAmAM paLoTAvA vaDhavANa kempanI dukAne gayo. rUnA dhaMdhAne lagatA jInapresanAM kAmomAM bIjA nokaro sAthe huM kAMI ne kAMI soMpeluM kAma karato. kayAreka kAlAM pholAvuM to kyAreka kapAsa loDhAvavA ane rUnI gAMsaDI baMdhAvavA jInapresamAM jauM. taDako vadhe jato hato. eka

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34 * mAruM jIvanavRtta vAra khare bapo2e bhogAvAne sAme kinAre zauca mATe jato hato tyAre AMkhe jhAMkhapanuM bhAna thayuM. badhuM dhoLuM dhoLuM lAge. bIje divase sTezane phaIne levA gayo to te sAme UbhAM hovA chatAM temane tatkALa oLakhI zakyo nahi. kAkAe posTamAM nAMkhavA Apela eka patranuM ThekANuM AMkha kheMcI kheMcIne vAMceluM ema yAda che. A u52thI mane lAgyuM ke AMkhe garamI caDI haze. eTale te roja sAMje lImalI pAchA jatA bApu sAthe gherathI motInA suramAnI zIzI maMgAvI. suramo ekAda divasa AMjyo ke na AMjyo to tAva caDyo. khabara paDatAM kAkAe sAMje mane ghoDAgADImAM sAthe ja ghe2 AvavA laI lIdho. ghera pahoMcyo tyAre rAtanA ATheka vAgyA haze. te ja vakhate kuTuMbamAMnA eka DozImAe joIne kahyuM ke kadAca chokarAne mAtA nIkaLe. savAre dANA dekhAyA. gAmamAM paNa mAtAnA sakhata vA hatA. mArI peThe bIjAone paNa sakhata mAtA nIkaLelAM. emAM ekAda be mRtyu paNa thayAM haze. mArAM mAtA lAMbAM cAlyAM. mAtA daramiyAna AMkhe spaSTa dekhAyuM hoya tema yAda nathI. hAtha, paga ane mAthAmAM to evI sthiti AvelI ke enI AkhI khoLo UkhaDI gayelI. AMkhamAM mAtAnuM jora asAdhAraNa hatuM. eka AMkha eTalI badhI phUlI ke teno sojo nAkanA TeravA sudhI pahoMcyo ane asahya daradane aMte temAMthI DoLo bahAra nIkaLI gayo. vaidyo ane DaoNkTaro joI chaka thaI gayA. prasiddha jhaMDu bhaTTanA nAnA bhAI popaTa vaidhe AvIne kAMIka ThaMDaka mATe ane DoLo pAcho bese te mATe kAMIka davA ApelI, paNa yAda che tyAM lagI enAthI kAMI phera paDelo nahi. kAMIka ArAma to te vakhate AvelA eka dholerAnA vaizya vaidyanI davAthI thayelo, paNa e AMkha to gaI te gaI ja. bIjI AMkhe dekhAtuM nahi, paNa saMpUrNa rIte mAtA namyA pachI dekhI zakavAnI AzA gaI na hatI. chevaTe e AzA paNa moLI paDI. have aMdhApAno kaliyuga besI gayo hato. ene nivAravA mATe sau kuTuMbIoe phAve tema mAnatAo mAnavI zarU karI. bIjAoe kahyAM teTalAM ane dhyAnamAM AvyAM teTalAM badhAM ja nAnAM moTAM devadevIone mAnatAthI manAvI mArI vahAre dhAI AvavAnuM AhvAna zarU karyuM. vaidyo ane DaoNkTaronI davAo paNa zarU thaI. te vakhate AMkhanA prasiddha DaoNkTara tarIke tribhuvanadAsa jANItA hatA ane jUnAgaDhamAM rahetA. emaNe kahevarAvyuM ke vaDhavANa kempanA DaoNkTara ThAkoradAsane batAvI te abhiprAya Ape to jUnAgaDha Avo. ThAkoradAsano abhiprAya anukULa na paDyo eTale jUnAgaDha javAnuM mAMDI vALyuM, paNa vaDhavANa kempamAM rahI davAo karAvavI zarU karI. mAnelI mAnatAo deva-devIo cAkhI gayAM ke pUjArIo te to te ja jANe; paNa koI vahAre AvyuM nahi eTaluM nakkI. AzA aneka mithyA phAMphAM paNa marAvatI. eka vAgharIe kahyuM ke eka AMkha tI sudhAravAnI ja. moTAbhAIe enA mAMgyA pramANe paisA ApyA eTale e kAMIka jaMgalamAMthI laI Avyo. mane lAge che ke kadAca e

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sAmAjika nabaLAIo * 35 koI sasalA jevAnI carabI haze, paNa e badhA DhoMga hatA. nAgaDA bAvAonI jamAtamAMthI eka bAvo AgaLa Avyo ane savA kalAkamAM ja dekhatA karI devAnuM bIDuM jhaDapyuM. moTAbhAIe ane kuTuMbIo to hAthaveMtamAM ja AMkha pAchI AvatI jotA. mAro vizvAsa coTe nahi, paNa enA prayoga taLe beTho to kharo. eNe navuM kapaDuM, cokhA ane savA rUpiyo mAMgyAM. maMtra bhaNI mAre mAthe mIThuM mUkI cAlato thayo ane kaheto gayo ke ekAda kalAkamAM jarUra dekhAze; zraddhA rAkhajo. sau samajI gayA ane zraddhA to e bAvo tema ja AMkha gayAM chatAM Aja sudhI kAyama ja che. A acakSuThuganA prAraMbhanI TUMkI kathanI thaI. vahema ane ajJAna, AgaLapAchaLanI saMbaMdha vinAnI ghaTanAomAM kAryakAraNano saMbaMdha kevI rIte kahyuM che ane vahema tema ja ajJAna phelAvavAmAM kevI rIte madada kare che enuM eka udAharaNa yAda Ave che : sAmAnya rIte te jamAnAmAM janmASTamI Ave tyAre zrAvaNa mAsamAM rAMdhaNachaTha, zItaLAsAtama ane janmASTamI A traNa tahevAro lAgalagATa UjavAtA. pAchalA be divase cUlA na saLage. banAvI rAkhela potaiyAM ane mIThAI upara ja cAle. bairAMzAI mAnyatA evI ke sAtame cUlo saLage to zItaLA devI kope; kAraNa ke te divase te ThaMDA cUlAmAM sUvA Ave che. A vAto sAMbhaLI sAMbhaLI huM rIDho thayelo, paNa eka vAra thaI AvyuM ke lAvo zItaLAne bhagADIe. joIe ke zuM kare che? ghare to kAMI - banavAno saMbhava hato nahi eTale najIkamAM Avela phaIne ghera pahoMcyo. ane phaInA dIkarA cunIlAla tema ja meM baMnee maLI ghara baMdha karI, cUlo saLagAvI, dUdha ukALI sAkara sAthe garamAgarama pIdhuM. A vAta bIjuM koI jANatuM nahi. tyAra bAda ekabe varSe ja zItaLA nIkaLyA ane AMkho gaI. meM parApUrvanA vahema tema ja ajJAnathI koI na jANe te rIte manane manAvI lIdhuM ke A aMdhApo to zItaLA devInI AmanyA lopyAnuM ja pariNAma che. keTalAka vakhata lagI A vahema ane ajJAnanuM tama manamAM ghara karI rahyuM kharuM, paNa AgaLa jatAM vicAranA prakAzamAM te vilIna thaI gayuM. vicAra e uddabhavyo ke mArI sAthe ghaNAne mAtA nIkaLelAM. koI koI marI paNa gayeluM ane hindustAnamAM to mAtAne pariNAme eka athavA bIjI rIte ghaNA apaMga thAya che. zuM e badhAMe zItaLAne nArAja karyA che ? vaLI e paNa vicAra Avyo ke zItaLAsAtamanA divase cUlo ThaMDo rAkhavAnI prathA to sArvatrika nathI eTale cUlo saLagAvavAne lIdhe devI mAtra mArA upara ja zA mATe nArAja thAya? nArAja thavuM hoya to teNe mArA jevuM aDapaluM karanAra badhA upara nArAja thavuM joIe. A ane AnA jevA vicArothI prathama baMdhAvela mUlagrAha saraLatAthI sarI gayo ane mAtA nIkaLavAnAM tema ja AMkho javAnAM zAstrIya kAraNo jANato thayo.

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36 0 mAruM jIvanavRtta rANapura, koMDha, vAMkAneranI yAtrA A navA jIvanamAM AvI paDyo tyAM sudhImAM mAruM gAma bahAranuM bhramaNa ane darzanakSetra sAva parimita hatuM. uttare rANapura sudhI gayelo. tyAM mAruM navuM mosALa ane mAmA lagabhaga sarakhI uMmaranA; eTale phAvatuM. paNa mane vadhAre majA to tyAMnI bhAdaragomA baMne nadIonA paTamAM javA ane doDavAmAM paDatI. tethIya vadhAre majA to bhAdaranA kinAre UbhelAM bhagnaprAya khUba UMcA koTamAM jaI tyAMnAM bhoMyarAM, temAM paDelI jUnI topo ane koThAra tema ja jamAnAnI jagyAo jovAmAM paDatI. dakSiNe mArA kharA mosALa koMDha sudhI gADAraste gayelo ane tyAMnI nadIne kinAre Avela jagyAmAM eka sajaLa kuMDa pahelavahelo joyelo. tyAMno kharo rasa to thAkIe tyAM lagI zeraDI cUsavAmAM hato. bAreka varSanI uMmara pachI koMDha nathI gayo, paNa tyAM na javAnuM duHkha hajI paNa rahI gayuM che. AgaLa jatAM jyAre jyAre vatanamAM pAcho pharato tyAre mAmAo bahu yAda kare che ema moTAbhAI kahe ane kharA dilathI kaheto ke bIjI vAra AvIza tyAre jarUra jaIzuM. have to khabara nathI ke mAmA pachI tyAM koNa bAkI rahyuM che. pazcime TrenamAM vAMkAnera sudhI gayelo. tyAMnI macchu nadI karatAM pAtaLiyA tarapha vadhAre pharavA jato ane ema yAda che ke keTaleka dUra ekalo gayA pachI DarIne pAcho pharato. meM papaiyAM sauthI pahelavahelAM tyAM khAdhelAM. eno svAda bahu vicitra lAge, paNa choDAya nahi. vANiyAo paNa rajapUtanI peThe coraNo pahere ane keDa bAMdhe e dazya mArA mATe sAva navuM ja hatuM. tyAM lagI mArA manamAM evI vyApti baMdhAyelI ke jyAM jyAM vANiyA tyAM tyAM dhotiyAM. vRddha lagna ane vaidhavya pUrvamAM mAtra vaDhavANa sudhI ja gayelo. mArAM ghaNAM madhura smaraNo vaDhavANa sAthe saMkaLAyelAM che. nAnI phaIne tyAM amAro utAro. emanI traNa mALanI raMgIna ane cItarelI eDIo manamAM kautuka preratI. phaI gujarI gaI ne gharaDe ghaDapaNa phUA khUba rUpiyA kharcA eka khUbasUrata taruNa kanyAne phaInA sthAne lAvyA tyAre e joDAne huM pote akaLa bhAvathI nihALI rahelo. thoDA ja divasa pachI vaidhavyamAM AvI paDela A navI phaIne roja savAra-sAMja mAM vALatAM paNa joyA karato. A dazyanI chApe AgaLa jatAM vRddhalagna ane vaidhavyajIvana viSe vicAra karavAmAM keTalIka preraNA ApI che. khoTI harIphAI ane uDAugIrI sagI phaInA nAnA dIkarA sukhalAla te mArI ja uMmaranA. te bahu raMgIlA ane vilAsI. divasamAM sipAhInI peThe daza pozAka badale ane mArAthI kazuM chupAve paNa

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sAmAjika nabaLAIo 0 37 nahi. avAranavAra tijorI ughADI dAgInA mUke ke kADhe tyAre kadI nahi joyela evo sonAnA dAgInAno aMbAra najare paDe. te jamAnAmAM noTo nahi eTale dukAnathI rUpiyAnI thelIo ghare Ave ane gharethI dukAne jAya. sukhalAla jhapATAbaMdha rUpiyA gaNI tijorImAM goThave. vacce vacce eka-be paMcolA (pAMca rUpiyA) khissAmAM nAMkhe. temanI sAthe huM lagabhaga roja ghoDAgADImAM besI gAmanI comera pharavA jAuM. kyAreka e bhogAvAnA paTamAM ghoDo doDAve tyAre temanA gaLAno hAra ane ghaDiyALa paherI malakAuM. ghaNI vAra huM paNa ghoDAne e paTamAM doDAvavA jAuM. comAsAmAM bhogAvAmAM pUra Ave tyAre jovA doDuM kema ke mArA mATe pUra jovAnI taka tyAM ja AvatI. satI rANakadevInI derI joyelI; paNa jyAre te vakhate navA baMdhAyela bALasiMha ThAkoranA mahelane joyo tyAre enI racanA, citro, ane battIono jhagamagATa joI avAk thaI gayelo. te vakhate kayAM khabara hatI ke A jIvanamAM A mahelane bhulAvI de evA bAdazAhI mahelo ane imArato huM kacAreka jovAno chuM ane duniyAnI sarvotkRSTa imArato viSenAM pustako khUba rasapUrvaka vAMcavAno chuM. te vakhate to e bALasiMhano mahela ja lakSmIvilAsa pelesa, tAjamahela ke pirAmiDa' hato. sukhalAla ane temanA moTAbhAI mohanalAla baMne dhIralalita nAyaka jevA hatA. nATaka-ceTaka jovAM, ezaArAma mANavo ane muMbaIthI navuM navuM pharnicara lAvavuM emAM baMne bhAIoe evI harIphAI AdarI ke mArA dekhatAM ja emaNe paitRka saMpatti lagabhaga khalAsa karI. A uDAugIrInA pariNAme paNa mane raheNIkaraNInA dhoraNa viSe vicAra karavAmAM bahu madada karI che. Trena saphara pachInA jIvanamAM muMbaI-kalakattA mela jevI TrenomAM karelI sapharone lIdhe pahelAMnA jIvanamAM karela mo2bI Trena ane bhAvanagara TrenanI sapharonI majA dabAI gaI che kharI; paNa e kALe e TrenomAM jatAM AvatAM doDatAM jhADonAM dazyo jovAmAM tema ja mANasa ane pazunAM nAnAM kada nihALavAmAM ane sTezana upara pesenjaronI doDAdoDa jovAmAM tema ja gAMThiyA-peMDAno lalacAvanAra avAja sAMbhaLavAmAM ane ghaNI vAra e cAkhavAmAM je majA paDatI te to pachInA jIvanamAM azakya ja hatI.

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6. bIjo janma navA janmanI vizeSatA have bIjo janma zarU thayo hato. te darzanakALanA prathama janma karatAM taddana judI ja jAtano hato. chatAM parAdhInatAnI bAbatamAM enuM prathama janma sAthe keTaleka aMze sAmya hatuM. prathama janma vakhate karmendriyo ane jJAnendriyono Avazyaka vikAsa na hovAne lIdhe zaizavasthAnI rovA sivAyanI samagra kriyAo mAtRparataMtra hoya che. jyAre mArA A bIjA janma vakhate to karmendriyo ane jJAnendriyono puSTa vikAsa thayelo hovA chatAM parataMtratA AvI hatI. pagamAM cAlavA ane doDavAnI zakti hatI. hAthamAM levA-mUkavA, uThAvavAnI zakti hatI, paNa ene e kriyAo yogya rIte ka2vAmAM enA sadAnA sAthI prakAza vinA madada koNa Ape ? dAMta ane jIbhamAM potAnuM kAma karavAnI pUrNa zakti hatI, paNa ene potAnA jIvanasamA sAthI khAdya ane peya sAthe sIdho samAgama karAvanA2 prakAza rahyo na hato. eTale je kAMI svataMtratA bacI hatI te vANI, nAsikA ane karNendriya pUratI ja hatI. kema ke emaNe sRSTinI AdithI ja prakAzanI madada vinA potapotAnAM kAma karavAnuM DahApaNa keLaveluM eTale prakAzano viyoga emanI kAryazaktimAM khalela pahoMcADI zake tema na hatuM. havenA navA janmamAM kevaLa tamo-advaitanuM navuM ja vedAnta pragaTyuM hatuM. emAM prakAzagamya badhA ja bhedo vilaya pAmyAM hatAM. A navA vedAntanI vizeSatA e hatI ke temAM AnaMdAnubhavanA badale duHkhAnubhava ja thato. upAzrayamAM sAmAyika juvAnInA udgame tema ja khAnapAnanI pUratI sagavaDe zarIre tema ja manamAM ThIka ThIka zaktino saMcAra karyo hato. paNa te, joIto rasto na maLavAthI DhAMkela vAsaNamAM varALa dhUMdhavAya tema aMdara ne aMdara gUMgaLAtI hatI. ane mAtra mArI ja nahi, paNa kuTuMbanA badhAMnI mUMjhavaNamAM vadhAro karyo jatI hatI. pUrvAbhyAsane, vaza Ine bIjAnI madada vinA hAthapaga cAle ke zarIra koI ne koI vastu sAthe athaDAya. hitaiSIo soTI ke lAkaDI hAthamAM rAkhavAnI salAha Ape tyAre e na ruce ane emAM svamAna ghavAnuM

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bIjo janma 0 39 anubhavAya. A karavuM ane A na karavuM evI salAha game teTalI hitAvaha hoya toya te vakhate e sAMbhaLatAMveMta mana kSubdha karI mUke. havenA jIvananI vATa vasamI hatI ane koI samAdhAnakAraka mArga sUjhato nahi chatAM jijIviSA ane jIvanazakti vahAre dhAyAM. bALaka paDatAM-AkhaDatAM ja cAlatAM zIkhe che tema mAre viSe paNa banyuM. athaDAmaNIo ane muzkelIoe ja navo rasto zodhato karyo. huM dekhato tyAre ja eka navo upAzraya baMdhAI rahyo hato. te have sAva taiyAra thaI gayo hato. e taddana ghara pAse Avelo ane enI badhI ja goThavaNa paricita tema ja anukULa hatI. navA upAzraye lokomAM navo dharmotsAha prerelo. gharaDA, juvAna ane kumAro badhA ja savAre upAzrayamAM jAya ane ekAda sAmAyika laI temAM sau, marajI pramANe, moDhethI dhArmika pATha kare ke copaDImAM joI vAMce. koI jAta jAtanA chaMda bole to koI stavanasajjhAya gAya. ekasAthe nAnAmoTA badhAnA judA judA svara ane judA judA rAganI dizAomAM vaheto dhArmika pATha ApaNAM maMdiromAM bhakta-bhaktANIo dvArA svacchaMda gavAtAM stuti-stavananA zaMbhumeLAnI yAda Ape tevo hato, paNa mArA mATe e dhArmika pATha AzIrvAdarUpa nIvaDyo. huM sAmAyika laI besato. je pahelethI AvaDatuM te mukhapAThe bolI jato ane bIjAonA kaMThethI navAMnavAM saMbhaLAtAM chaMdo, stavano, ane sAyo saheje yAda karI leto. gUMgaLAtI zaktine khorAka maLyo, ane du:khAdvaitamAM sukha tema ja AzvAsane dvaita UbhuM karyuM. e dvaite uttarottara vadhAre ne vadhAre sAmAyiko karavA preryo. sAmAyikanA zAnta avakAzamAM game tenI madadathI kAMI ne kAMI kAmanuM ke nakAmuM, paNa dhArmika gaNAtA pustakamAM hoya te, yAda karI levA lAgyo. eTale navo rasto maLatAM mana kAMIka TharyuM. sAmAyika ane krodhano visaMvAda mananI A zAnti mAtra upAzraya pUratI ane bahu to vaDIlo agara mitro vacce besuM teTalA vakhata pUratI hatI. ghera pahoMcuM ane mana kAbUmAM na rahe. zakuntalA jevI nirdoSa bhojAI u52 mAruM durvAsAmana akAraNa kopa karI bese, paNa jANe nAnA-moTA badhA kuTuMbIoe mane jarAya na dUbhavavAnI gAMTha vALI hoya tema koI mane kazuM ja kahe nahi. mArA anyAyanI pratikriyA dhIre dhIre mana upara zarU thaI ema atyAre lAge che. kema ke eka tarapha sAmAyika-pratikramaNa ane bIjAM vrataniyamonA vartuLanuM jIvana ane tene lIdhe mitro tema ja gAmamAM dhArmika tarIke jAmatI pratiSThA ane bIjI ta2pha jarAya sAmuM bolyA vinA, sahaja bhAve sevA karanAra upara vagara kAraNe ja tapI javAnuM bALa-tapa A be vacce eTalo badho dekhIto visaMvAda hato ke te taddana jaDa na thaI gayuM hoya tevA manamAM lAMbA vakhata sudhI pacI zake nahi. tethI eka divasa eka . sAdhAraNa prasaMgamAMthI ja potAnA e anyAyya vartananuM tIvra bhAna pragaTI UThyuM. ane bhrama bhAMgatAM ja mananuM valaNa badalAI gayuM. -

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40 * mAruM jIvanavRtta banyuM ema ke bahenanI sAsu vaDhavANathI AvelAM. bairAMo maLI ekabIjAnuM mAthuM oLe ane vAto kare. huM keTaleka dUra khATa upara jAgato paDelo. pelAM mahemAna mArAM bhojAIne uddezI zikhAmaNa detAM hoya tema kahevA lAgyAM ke, dera eTale to deva. enI gALa e to ghInI nALa. maneya mArA dera ADuMavaLuM saMbhaLAve che; paNa huM to hasI kADhuM chuM. pachI e mane ja pUchatA Ave che. tAro A dera to dekhato hota to pATuM mArI bhoMmAMthI pANI kADhata. AMkha gaI e to karmanI gata che. tuM ja gharamAM moTI eTale tAre ja sahevuM rahyuM. bhojAIe kazo javAba na vALatAM mAtra DUsakAM bharyA. meM dUra rahyAM A badhuM mUMge moDhe sAMbhaLyuM, ane ekadama brahmajJAna thaI AvyuM ke doSa to mAro ja che ane chatAM e mahemAna bAI mane kazuM ja na kahetAM UlaTuM bhojAIne ATalI gaMbhIra zikhAmaNa Ape che to e bAI kevI! ane kevaLa raDIne ja mUMgo javAba ApanAra A bhojAI kevI ! basa. Aja lagI manamAM cAlato visaMvAda dUra thayo ane tyArathI bhojAI pratyeno anyAba baMdha thayo. bahenano sneha moTAM bahena to sAsarethI avAranavAra AvatAM, paNa AvatAM tyAre e ja rasoI banAve. pAse besADI garama garama jamADe ane kahe ke pahelI thALI savA lAkhanI, paNa kumArI nAnI bahena caMcaLa to ghera ja hatI. e mArAM moTAM bahena jevI ugra nahi, paNa enI mA jevI taddana zILA svabhAvanI ane hasamukhI hatI. mane pAse besI jamADyA vinA ene cena paDavuM meM joyuM nathI. moTAM bahena vi. saM. 1957mAM gujarI gayAM ane ene ja sthAne nAnI bahena gaI. paradezathI jyAre jyAre dezamAM AvuM tyAre huM caMcaLane maLavA vaDhavANa jAuM agara te lImalI Ave. te ati bhoLI bahena lAgaNIthI eTaluM ja kahe ke bhAI, have kayAM lagI paradeza rahevuM che? ghare ane dezamAM zuM khoTuM che ? Aje e bahena paNa hayAta nathI. mane eka vAtanuM duHkha rahI gayuM che ke huM amadAvAda hato chatAMya enI bImArI vakhate enI pAse pahoMcI zakelo nahi. upAzrayamAM jJAnArjana vi. saM. 1954nA (ghaNuM karI) ziyALAmAM gAmanA zrAvako navA upAzrayane sAdhuonAM pagalAMthI pavitra banAvavAnA uddezathI rUganAthajI mahArAjane vinaMtI karI laI AvyA. teo vaDhavANa sthAnakavAsI dariyAparI gacchanA pUjya hoI te gacchanA vaDA hatA. temanI sAthe keTalAka ziSyo hatA. emAM kevaLajI mahArAja mukhya hatA ane sauthI nAnA harakhacaMdajI muni hatA. e atyAre jIvita che. A sAdhumaMDaLa mahinoka rahyuM haze. te daramiyAna roja rAte kevaLajI muni dhArmika vAto mAMDe ane pote tathA bIjAe banAvela dharmapradhAna kavitA gAya. kaMTha madhura, kaheNI ane zrotAone hasAvI

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bIjo janma * 41 mUkvAnI kaLA sarasa. A badhuM saLaMga rIte jovAno jIvanamAM prathama ja prasaMga hato. ene lIdhe mArI jijJAsA vadhAre uttejita thaI ane saMpradAyanuM dhArmika lekhAtuM dhArmika jJAna meLavavA vizeSa utkaMThA jAgI. munimaMDaLa to gayuM; paNa zrAvakonI IcchAthI pUjyajIe lImalImAM te sAla comAsuM karavA sAdhvIone mokalyAM. lImalImAM sAdhuonuM A comAsuM paheluM ja hatuM. vANiyAoe comAsuM UjavavAmAM maNA rAkhI nahi, paNa traNamAMthI vaDA jhakalabAI lAMbI bImArI pachI svargavAsI thayAM. emanI pAlakhI kADhavAnI hatI tyAre paMdara gharanA saMghamAM paNa be taDAM paDyAM. eka moTA taDAnuM movaDI amAruM kuTuMba ane bIjA taDAmAM mAtra cAra ghara. vAdAvAdI ane caDasAcaDasI evI cAle ke lahANI, prabhAvanA, jamaNavAro ane sAdharmika mahemAnonuM svAgata e ja moTI pArTIno nAnI pArTIne nIcuM dekhADavAno mukhya dharma banI gayo. A badhuM cAlatuM hatuM temAM sAdhvIe alipta dekhAtI; paNa jyAre huM Aje vicAra karuM chuM tyAre e aliptatA nirbaLatAjanya hoI kevaLa nAmanI hatI. A vakhate paNa AkhA comAsA daramiyAna mAro vyavasAya to sAdhvIo pAsethI kAMI ne kAMI navuM zIkhI levAno ja hato. huM temane moDhethI keTalAka chaMdo ane sajhAyo zIkhelo ema yAda che. comAsuM pUruM karI jyAre temaNe vihAra karyo tyAre huM dUra sudhI vaLoTAvavA gayelo ane snehANu sArIne pAcho pharelo. zrI dIpacaMdajI mahArAja vi. saM. 1955mAM koI comAsuM karavA to na AvyuM, paNa ziyALA-unALAmAM aneka sAdhu-sAdhvIo AvyAM ane thoDuM thoDuM rahyA. meM emAMnA keTalAka pAsethI zIkhavAno prayatna karyo ane svataMtrapaNe copaDIonA AdhAre keTaluMka navuM meLavyuM. atyAra lagImAM huM je kAMI zIkhyo hato te jUnI ke navI gujarAtI bhASAmAM ja racAyeluM hatuM. tyAra sudhImAM te vakhate prasiddha sajjhAyamALAnA be bhAgomAM evuM bhAgye ja kAMI haze je mane kaMThastha na hoya, paNa zIkhavAno kharo avasara to 1956nA bhayAnaka duSkALamAM ja Avyo. te sAlamAM zrI dIpacaMdajI mahArAja je ekalavihArI hatA te comAsuM karavA AvyA. comAsA pahelAM paNa teo gAmamAM rahI gayelA. mukhyapaNe temanI madadathI ane keTaleka aMze nAnA bhAI tema ja be mitronI madadathI chapAyela badhA ja thokaDA yAda karI gayo. A thokaDAomAM mukhyapaNe jainaparaMparAnA dravyAnuyoga ane gaNitAnuyoganA zAstrIya viSayo saraLatAthI gujarAtI bhASAmAM carcelA che. chapAyela uparAMta bIjA paNa likhita saMkhyAbaMdha je thokaDAo maLyA te temanI pAsethI yAda karI lIdhAM. mane have jaNAyuM hatuM ke huM je kAMI zIkhuM chuM te badhuM AgamomAM che ane prAkRta bhASAnuM vyAkaraNa ke koSa kazuM ja jANyA sivAya meM e dIpacaMdajI mahArAjanI mukhya madadathI keTalAMka Agamo AkheAkhAM yAda karyA. jemAM dazavaikAlika, uttarAdhyayana,

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4ra che mAruM jIvanavRtta ane sUtrakatAMga mukhyapaNe gaNAvI zakAya. mahArAja ekalA ane zrAvako bhAgye ja upAzraye Ave eTale temane mAruM ane mane temanuM AlaMbana hatuM. A pArasparika AlaMbane baMne vacce eka jAtanI maitrI paNa UbhI karI. joke teo uMmare gharaDA hatA. emanI mArA pratyenI mamatA ane ekAkIpaNAmAM temane mArA taraphathI maLatI rAhata, e be tattvo comAsA pachI paNa AgalAM varSomAM temane lImalI AvavA preratAM. te kahe ke amuka zIkhavA jevuM che to te tarata yAda karI lauM. e rIte emanI dvArA meM zobhanastuti, bhaktAmara, kalyANamaMdira, siMdUprakaraNa Adi kaMThastha karyA. dIpacaMdajI mahArAja saMskRta na jANatA. emanI jJAnasImAM mAtra batrIsa mULa Agama pUratI hatI. chatAM emanI pAse pothIsaMgraha kAMIka sAro eTale emAMthI kAMIka navuM kADhe ane mane kahe. huM ene yAda karI lauM. have gujarAtI kRtionuM sthAna prAkRta gadyapadya lIdheluM hovAthI te puSkaLa kaMThastha thaI gayuM, paraMtu e prAkRta gadyapadyano artha to gujarAtI TabbA dvArA ja sAcI ke khoTI rIte huM samajelo. saMskRtamAM praveza keTalAMka saMskRta sUkato ane stotro artha jANyA vinA ja kaMThastha karyA hatAM chatAMya saMskRta bhASAnI madhuratAe mAruM dhyAna have vizeSa kheMcyuM. e mAlUma paDyuM ke saMskRta bhASA bahu vizALa che ane emAM sAhitya ghaNuM che temaja AgamonI TIkAo paNa saMskRtamAM che. vyAkaraNa vinA saMskRta na AvaDe. AthI saMskRta-vyAkaraNa zIkhavAnI bhAre tamannA jAgI, paNa zIkhavAnuM kazuM ja sAdhana na hatuM. eTale je saMskRta pustaka hAthamAM paDyuM ane jeno vAMcanAra maLyo te vagara samaje paNa kaMThastha karI levA maMDyo. raghuvaMzanA nava sargo e ja arasAmAM roja eka sargane hisAbe kaMThastha karI gayelo. jeno artha to kAzI gayA bAda ekAda varSa pachI tyAM zIkhelo. joke saMskRta bhASA tarapha mAruM asAdhAraNa AkarSaNa vadhyuM hatuM, paNa na hatI zIkhavA yogya vyavasthita pustakonI jANa ke na hatuM koI zIkhavanAra agara koI suyogya vAcaka. tethI gujarAtI, prAkRta, saMskRta je kAMI yAda hatuM tenuM Avartana karavAmAM mukhyapaNe samaya pasAra thato ane vacce vacce je pustako maLI AvatAM temAMthI navuM yAda karyo jato. A gALA daramiyAna prakaraNa ratnAkara cothA bhAgamAMthI saMgrahaNI, ane kSetrasamAsa temaja indriyaparAjaya zataka ane vairAgya zataka jevAM prakaraNo yAda karI lIdhAM. emAMthI pAMceka granthono bhAva paNa samajavA pAmyo. sAmAnya rIte mane vAMcI saMbhaLAvanAra mAro nAno bhAI choTAlAla ane be mitra bhAIo hatA. choTAlAla gujarAtI kazuM ja vizeSa samaje nahi. chatAM te prAkRta ke saMskRta akSarazaH vAMcI ApavA TevAyelo. avyavasthitapaNe kaMThastha thaI gayA pachI e bhAgane tenA Avartana vakhate kAMIka sAcI-khoTI rIte sudhArI vyavasthita karato. popaTalAla ane enA nAnA bhAI gulAbacaMda e baMne mArA mitro. baMne mane vAMcI saMbhaLAvavAmAM madada karatAM, paNa popaTalAlanI buddhi to camatkAriNI hatI. e vAMcatA

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bIjo janma 0 43 jAya ane aTakaLe artha paNa samajatA jAya. emane zAstrajJAnano zokha paNa hato. smRti emanI eTalI badhI adbhuta hatI ke gAmanI koI paNa ghaTanAne te tArIkhavAra kahI Ape. ane hisAbamAM to bIjAne pAcho pADe. e uMmare mArAthI vIseka varSe moTA, paNa mArA pratye emano bahu sadbhAva. mULe te mUrtipUjaka eTale bhAvanagara jaina dharma prasAraka sabhAnAM keTalAMka gujarAtI pustako avAranavAra maMgAve. sabhAnuM jaina dharmaprakAza nAmanuM mAsika paNa maMgAvatA. teo e pustako vAMce ane huM paNa temAMthI avAranavAra sAMbhaLuM. bharUcavALA anupacaMda malUksaMdanuM praznottara-ratnaciMtAmaNi pustaka te vakhate jaina samAjamAM khyAti pAmeluM. enuM vAcana paNa mane rucyuM. gulAbacaMda samavayaska hoI vadhAre aMtaraMga mitra. e vAMcI saMbhaLAvavA sivAyanI ghaNI bAbatomAM mane madada kare ane enA dAMpatyajIvananA avAranavAra gUMcavAtA kokaDAnA ukelamAM mAtra mArI ja salAha le ane mArA upara vizvAsa mUke. Ama zIkhavAnuM ane yAda karavAnuM laMgaDAtuM taMtra cAlatuM hatuM teTalAmAM lIMbaDI saMghADAnA vayovRddha prajJAcakSu lAghAjI svAmI lImalImAM padhAryA. temanA mukhya ziSya uttamacaMdajI paNa AvelA. lAdhAjI svAmI pAsethI sArasvata vyAkaraNanI sAthe paMcasaMdhI mukhe yAda karI, paNa emaNe mane kahyuM ke tame AkhuM sArasvata ke caMdrikA zIkhI jAo, uttamacaMdajI tamane zIkhavaze. e sArA saMskRtajJa che, ityAdi. huM uttamacaMdajI mahArAjanI pAchaLa paDyo ane vaDhavANa kempamAM temanI pAse rahI AkhA comAsAmAM e vyAkaraNa saMpUrNapaNe zIkhI lIdhuM. huM temanI pAsethI sArthapATha samajI leto ane yAda karato. moTe bhAge muni choTAlAlajInI madadathI. bezaka te vakhate paNa mane lAgatuM ke huM zIkhuM chuM temAM ghaNuM agatyanuM rahI jAya che, paNa tema chatAM te vakhate je kAMI huM saMskRta zIkhyo te mane kAzImAM jatAMveMta bhAre upayogI siddha thayuM. eka rIte kAzInA vizALa saMskRta adhyayananI e kImatI pUrvabhUmikArUpa ja sAbita thayuM. dezamAM tUTyuMphUTyuM saMskRta zIkhato tyAre lAdhAjI svAmI ane uttamacaMdajI mahArAje zatAvadhAnI ratnacaMdrajI munino paricaya karAvelo. te vakhate teo sAva taruNa ja hatA, paNa saMskRta jUnI Dhabe paNa sAruM ane vyavasthita rIte zIkhelA. ratnacaMdrajI ane uttamacaMdrajI mahArAja baMne keTalIka vAra saMskRtamAM vAtacIta kare tyAre mArI saMskRta jijJAsAno pAro vadhAre caDI jato ane ema thatuM ke huM AvuM agara AthIye sAruM saMskRta kayAre jANuM ane kyAre boluM ? kharekhara emanA paricaye ja mArI saMskRta jijJAsAne vadhAre sateja karI ema kahuM to emAM jarAya atyukti nathI. A rIte mArA abhyAsa taMtranI gADI vi. saM. 1959nA kArtika mahinA sudhI AvI pahoMcI. TUMkamAM ema kahI zakAya ke vi. saM. 1953nA aMtathI mAMDI 1959nA anta sudhImAM jUnInavI gujarAtI, prAkRta ane saMskRta bhASA dvArA jainaparaMparAnA cAreya anuyogane lagatA aneka viSayonuM chUTuMchavAyuM uparachaluM ane avyavasthita jJAna meLavavAmAM puruSArthano upayoga thayo.

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7. sAmAjika ane dhArmika jIvanano paricaya keTalAka zAstrIya viSayonuM sAva adhUruM temaja avyavasthita jJAna ane te paNa avaijJAnika paddhatie atyAra lagImAM prApta karyuM hatuM, paraMtu itihAsa, samAja, mAnasa Adi viSayo paNa bahu kheDAyelA che ane tenA zAstrIya jJAnanuM bhAre mahattva che enI to mane kazI kalpanA ja na hatI. tethI e viSayonuM zAstrIya jJAna meLavavAnI jijJAsA na jAge e svAbhAvika che. tema chatAM te vakhatanA kauTuMbika ane sAmAjika jIvananA nirIkSaNe je saMskAro mana upara pADyA teNe AgaLa jatAM itihAsa samAja ane mAnasazAstra jevA mahAkAvyono marma samajavAmAM alpAMze paNa madada karI che. tethI e saMskAro viSe kAMIka lakhavuM yogya dhAruM chuM. sAmAjika jIvananA saMskAro huM pahelAM jaNAvI gayo chuM ke mAruM sagapaNa thayeluM hatuM. have prazna lagna karavA na karavAno upasthita thayo. zvazura pakSa bIjI rIte paNa amArA kuTuMba sAthe saMkaLAyela hato. chatAM e pakSa have potAnI kanyAne mArA jevA nirAdhAratAmAM AvI paDelane paraNAvavAnuM pasaMda kema ja kare? ADakatarI rIte e pakSa aruci pragaTa karavA lAgyo hato, paNa mArA bApu-pitAjI Adine saMbaMdha toDavAmAM mArA bhAvinA vicAra karatAM mobhAno vicAra prathama ADe Avato hato ema huM te vakhate vagara kahe paNa kalpI zakato. zvazura pakSa game te icche toya te ApaNA kuTuMbano saMbaMdha choDIne svastha na rahI zake evuM gumAna vaDIlonA manamAM UMDe UMDe kAma karatuM haze ema huM kahyuM chuM, paNa A tANakheMcamAM be varSa pasAra thayAM ane vaDIlonA manano Ubharo zamyo. temaja teo e praznane vAstavika dRSTie nihALavA lAgyA. temane ema jarUra thayuM hovuM joIe ke sAmo pakSa lagna kare toya e lagnamAM chevaTe e bAI temaja sukhalAlanuM hita samAyeluM che ke nahi ! A vicAre chevaTe kuTuMbIone saMbaMdhaviccheda karavA preryA ane e prakaraNa tyAM samApta thayuM. mane barAbara yAda che ke saMbaMdhavicchedanA samAcAre mArA mana upara te vakhate koI paNa jAtano kSobha janmAvyo na hato. AnuM kAraNa e nahi ke mArAmAM e uMmare lagnavAsanA uddabhavI na hatI, paNa enuM kharuM kAraNa eka to e hatuM ke

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sAmAjika ane dhArmika jIvanano paricaya - 45 mane have vizeSa ane vizeSa jJAna meLavavAnI ja dhUna lAgI hatI ane bIjuM kAraNa e paNa hatuM ke parAdhIna jIvanamAM parAdhInatAnA vadhArAthI mukti maLatI hatI. ghaNuM karI vi. saM. 1956nA prAraMbhamAM ja kuTuMbakalaha zarU thayo. huM pahelAM lakhI gayo chuM ke gAMgajI mAvajI ane taLazI mAvajI e be bhAIono vastAra lImalImAM hato. gAMgajI mAvajInA cAreya putronuM kuTuMba saMyukta hatuM. taLazI mAvajInA ekamAtra putra mArA pitA pahelethI ja vaheMcaNI karI judA paDelA. Ama to baMne kuTuMbono vyApAradhaMdho ane milakata sAva judAM hatAM chatAM baMne besatA eka ja dukAne ane baMnenA keTalAMka paitRka leNAdeNAM paNa saMyukta hatAM. kalaha zarU to thayo gAMgajI mAvajInA cAra putromAM, paNa enA chAMTAthI mArA pitA sAva mukta rahI zakyA nahi. atyAre mane ema lAge che ke jo teomAM vadhAre naitika hiMmata ane vadhAre taTastha rahevAnI dRSTi hota to teo klezanA cepathI mukta rahI zakata. pelA cAra bhAIomAM eka bAju moTAbhAI bApu ane bIjI bAju nAnA traNa bhAIo hatA. badhA ja svabhAve udAra ane zakti bahArano kharca karavAmAM pAchuM vALI na jue tevA hatA. chatAM vaheMcaNI vakhate najIvI cIjo mATe paNa tANakheMca thatI. jANe takarAra karavAmAM rasa paDato hoya tema koI ne koI bahAne teo AkhaDatA. pitAjIne emAM kazI ja levAdevA hatI nahi, paNa moTAbhAI pratyeno emano anurAga ane ekalA paDI jatA moTAbhAIne potAnA pakSe mArA pitAne rAkhavAnI cAturI - e be tattvone kAraNe pelA traNa bhAIo mArA pitAjIne sAmI bAjunA lekhatA. vi. saM. 1956nA bhayAnaka duSkALamAM baMdha paDela vyApAra-dhaMdhAnuM sthAna A kuTuMbakalaha lIdhuM hatuM, badhAno samaya navA navA vAMdhAonA muddA UbhA karavAmAM, tenI covaTo ane paMcAto karavA-karAvavAmAM temaja koI paMca anukULa pheMsalo na Ape tyAre tene paNa viruddha bAjunAM lekhI tenI sAme paDavAmAM pasAra thato. bApune pakSe rahevAthI ane dAkSiNyane kAraNe ghaNI bAbatomAM pitAjI upara nakAmuM Arthika tANa vadhatuM ane kuTuMbane kheMcAvuM paNa paDatuM. A vastu mArA moTAbhAIne paNa rucatI nahi. ane ghaNI vAra teo pitAjI sAme virodha pragaTa karatA, paNa pitAjI potAnI Dhabe ja cAlatA. huM A nATakamAM bhAga levAnI hade hajI pahoMcyo na hato, paNa ene joyA to karato ja ane tenA vAvya-anyAApaNA viSe paNa vicAro bAMdhato. jANe A kuTuMbakalaha ocho hoya tema kholaDiyAdamAM vasatA amarazI mAvajI ane motI mAvajInA parivAramAM paNa kalahAgni pragaTyo. badhAyanI phariyAdanI chellI korTa bApujI eTale badhA ja pakSo lImalI bApu pAse Ave ane bApu to mArA pitAjIne pAse rAkhe ja. paNa huM joI zakato ke have bApu temaja mArA pitAno kuTuMba uparano prathamano prabhAva kAyama rahyo nathI. kAraNa spaSTa hatuM. je pote potAnA gharanI takarArano aMta ANI na zake tenA pheMsalAne bIjAo niSpakSa kema mAne ? chevaTe lImalI ane kholaDiyAdanAM

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46 0 mAruM jIvanavRtta kuTuMbonA kauravapAMDavIya kalahe temanI pratiSThA ane jAhojalAlI ghaNA aMze chinnabhinna karI. kuTuMbakalahanA anubhavanI A chApe mane AgaLa jatAM hindu ane musalamAna rAjyonA vinipAtano itihAsa samajavAmAM temaja kurupAMcAlanA yuddhanI kathA samajavAmAM bahu madada ApI. jAtIya praznomAM rasa jAtIya praznonI vividha carcA vaDe vAcakomAM 2sapreratAM chApAM ane novelano yuga te vakhate gAmaDAmAM Avyo na hato. tema chatAM gAmaDAvAsIo e rasa mANatA nahi ema to nahi ja. jAtIya saMbaMdhone lagatI sthAnika ghaTanAonI agara AsapAsanAM gAmonI evI ghaTanAonI carcAo te vakhate grAmyajanone chApAMno ane novelano khorAka pUro pADatI. evI carcAonA rasathI te vakhate buddhipUrvaka alipta rahyo houM ema yAda nathI. A jAtanA saMskArane lIdhe mane AgaLa jatAM e zAstrIya tattva samajavAmAM jarAya vAra na lAgI ke dharma karatAM arthanI ane artha karatAM kAmanI kathA vizeSa rasa prere che. temaja yuddhavArtAno rasa to tethIye paNa caDI jAya che. e paNa tathya itihAsasiddha che ke yuddha kevaLa artha temaja kAmanA pradezane ja nahi paNa dharmanA pradeza sudhdhAMneya ekasarakhI rIte Avare che. eka kAkAnI cAlacalagata vadhAre paDatI zithila hatI. te kayAM jAya che, zuM kare che vagere chidro jovAnuM guptacara kRtya nAnA hatA tyArathI bIjA kAkA amane soMpatA, paNa uMmare pahoMcyo tyAre caradRSTinA vikAsathI meM e paNa jANyuM ke A kAkAo paNa ochevadhate aMze evI ja vRttinA che. gharanA be-cAra nokaronI navarAze bharAtI pariSadamAM bhAga lauM tyAre evI alakamalakanI vAto sAMbhaLavAmAM Ave ane tenI samAlocanAmAM paNa thoDo vakhata pasAra thAya. A anubhave hemacaMdranA kAvyAnuzAsanamAMnuM e kathana saraLatAthI samajAvI dIdhuM ke badhA rasomAM zRMgAranuM sthAna paheluM che, tenuM kAraNa tenI sarvajaMtusAdhAraNatA che. vaNika Adi jAtionuM vartana gAmanA vANiyAomAM te vakhate paradeza javAnI sAhasikatA AvI na hatI. vyApA2nuM kSetra nAnuM ane vyApArIo vadhAre eTale bahArathI ekasaMpInI badhI ziSTatA hovA chatAM te badhAmAM aMdaroaMdara adekhAI ane svArthamUlaka tarakhaTonuM prAdhAnya jovAmAM AvatuM. garAsiyAo rajapUta-svabhAva pramANe bhoLA kharA, paNa temanuM bhoLapaNa ajJAnamUlaka hatuM. core besI gappAM mAravAM, edI aphINiyApaNAmAM karaja vadhArye javuM ane ThakarAInA kalpita mobhAne sAcavavA garAsa vecatA jaI tamAco mArI moDhuM lAla rAkhavuM - e vizeSatAmAM temano kadAvara bAMdho, ruAbadAra cAla ane zauryavRtti e badhuM nakAmuM banI gayuM hatuM. garAsa ane yajamAnavRttine kAraNe sukhI hoya evA

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sAmAjika ane dhArmika jIvanano paricaya * 47 brAhmaNomAM paNa paraMparAgata yAcakavRttimAM mAnI lIdhelI pratiSThAne kAraNe dInatA joI zakato. kyAMya nimaMtraNa maLe ke dakSiNAnI AzA hoya tyAre teonI paDApaDI jovI e te vakhate vinodano viSaya thaI paDato. sarvathA nirakSara evA kheDUto ane vasavAyAmAM temanI jAtamahenatane lIdhe AvatA ghaNA susaMskAro paNa mArA jovAmAM AvyA che. aspRzya gaNAtI komo taraphano savarNa lokono tochaDAI bharelo vyavahAra to te vakhate temanA janmasiddha hakka jevo ja lekhAto. A nirIkSaNe mane bhAratavyApI cAturvaNyanA vividha praznone sparzato hajAro varSano itihAsa ukelavAmAM sIdhuM mArgadarzana karyuM che, temaja aspRzyatAnuM jhera dUra karavAnI svAmI dayAnaMdanI sIdhI pravRtti ane tenA mULane dharamULathI ukhADI nAMkhavAnI gAMdhIjInI dRSTi ane hilacAlamAM saMpUrNapaNe rasa leto thavAmAM mane madada karI che. nAnI-moTI takarAromAM ane korTe caDavAnA vyasanamAM racyA-pacyA hovA chatAM ane atyAranI sAkSaratAthI sAva mukta hovA chatAM paNa te samayanA grAmya lokomAM dilane hacamacAvI mUke evuM meM eka vArasAgata suMdara tattva joyeluM che, jene huM kadI bhUlI zakato nathI. te tattva eTale aMdaroaMdaranI lAgaNIbharI sahAnubhUti. koIne tyAM mAMdagIno prasaMga Ave agara sakhata varasAda ke elIne kAraNe koInA makAna besI jAya ke evo bIjo koI kaparo prasaMge upasthita thAya tyAre nAtajAtanA bheda vinA virodhIo sudhdhAM paNa tenA duHkhamAM bhAga levA ekaThA thatA. AvI sahAnubhUti e sAmAjika jIvananA cirakAlIna susaMgaThananuM ja pariNAma hoI zake e vastu AgaLa jatAM mane vadhAre spaSTapaNe samajAI. vikRta thayela ane paDI bhAMgela e saMgaThana Aje moTA pAyA upara samajaNapUrvakano uddhAra mAMgI rahyuM che. A muddo Aje jeTalo saraLatAthI samajAya che, teTalo te kALe lokonA dhyAnamAM Avyo na hato. jaina sAdhusaMghano saMparka vi. saM. 1954thI 1959 sudhInAM varSo daramiyAna mAruM vizrAMtidhAma ke sAdhanAdhAma upAzraya ja banI gayuM hatuM. bhAgye ja evA divaso AvatA ke jyAre koI ne koI sAdhu-sAdhvI na hoya. kaccha, hAlAra, gujarAta ane mAravADa - badhethI sAdhu-sAdhvIo vicaratAM-vicaratAM AvatAM. sarabharA ane sagavaDa sArI eTale teo gAmaDuM chatAM kAMIka vadhAre rahevA lalacAya. keTalAka to mahino mahino paNa rahe. sAdhvIo hoya tyAre to upAzraya divasa pUratuM ja mAruM dhAma hoya, paNa sAdhuo hoya tyAre to divasa ane rAta e ja dhAma rahetuM. sAdhu-sAdhvIonA A nikaTa sahavAsane lIdhe temanA guNa-doSonuM adhyayana karavAnI pUratI taka maLI. abhaNa hoya, dhyeyanI koI dizA jANatA na hoya chatAM keTalAka bahu saraLa ane guNagrAhI jovAmAM AvatAM. jyAre bhaNelA ane pratiSThita gaNAtA bIjA sAva daMbhI ane bhraSTAcArI paNa jaNAtA. ahIM eTaluM

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48 * mAruM jIvanavRtta kahevuM joIe ke svacchaMdanuM tattva pramANamAM sAdhvIo karatAM sAdhuomAM ja vizeSa jovA maLeluM. sAdhu-samAjanI akSamya nabaLAIono vatanamAM thayela paricaya kAzI gayA pachI baMdha paDavAne badale UlaTo AgalAM varSomAM vadhAre vistaryo. jo Avo nikaTano yathArtha paricaya thayo na hota to bauddha ane jaina zramaNa saMghanA hajAro varSanA itihAsanA AvatA asvAbhAvika ane aTapaTA jIvanaprasaMgono khulAso AgaLa jatAM huM asaMdigdhapaNe meLavI zakyo te bhAgye ja meLavI zakata. sAdhu-bAvA ane saMnyAsIonI tyAgI saMsthA viSe mArA je abhiprAyo baMdhAyA che temAM uparanA paricayano phALo ocho nathI. maMtra - taMtra AdimAM rasa ane niSphaLatA upara sUcavela cha varSo daramiyAna mane eka bIjI dhUna paNa lAgelI, jeno ullekha pAchaLathI baMdhAyela mArA siddhAMtanI dRSTie temaja vahemI lokonA hitanI dRSTie ahIM karavo Avazyaka che. maMtra, taMtra ane yaMtranA mahimAnuM rAjya sArvatrika che. enI asara mArAmAM vArasAgata ja haze. sAdhu-sAdhvIonA nikaTa sahavAse ane aMgata ajJAne e asarane poSI. koI vidvAna ke saMbhAvita sAdhu Ave tyAre UDe UDe evI lAlaca udbhave ke ene rAjI karI enI pAsethI evuM kAMIka tattva jANI levuM. durbhAgye tevA sAdhuoe paNa sAcI samaja ApI te lAlaca dabAvavAne badale tene uttejana ja ApyuM. keTalAka sAdhuoe maMtra, to keTalAye yaMtra ane taMtra paNa zIkhavyAM. enI vidhio A phaLAphaLathI paNa jANato karyo. AgaLa jatAM UlaTuM sAdhu-sAdhvIo paNa e viSayamAM mane niSNAta mAnavA lAgyA. gAmamAM ane mitromAM paNa e bAbatamAM kAMIka pratiSThA vadhI. maMtra-yaMtra ane taMtranA utArAo paNa ekaThA karyA hatA. enA prayoga ane enI sAdhanAmAM nikaTa sAtha mArA aMgata mitra gulAbacaMdano hato. sAcA akkalaberanI mALA hoya ane tenAthI japa karIe to amuka phaLa maLe ja evI dRDha mAnyatAne lIdhe akkalaberanI zodha karI. eka cAraNa mitre koI phakIra pAsethI tevI mALA lAvI to ApI, paNa tene kharIdyA pahelAM koI na jANe tevI rIte sAcA-khoTAnI parIkSA karavAnuM kAma ame jANatA na hatA. tethI maMtravAdI tarIke atiprasiddha evA eka vayovRddha sAyalA saMpradAyanA megharAjajI mahArAja pAse ame baMne pahoMcyA. temaNe batAvyA pramANe parIkSA karI. be hAthamAM be ughADI talavAro UbhI pakaDI rAkhavI. vacce mALA jamIna upara mUkavI. jo akkalabera sAco hoya to baMne bAjuthI talavAro dhIre dhIre namatAM akkalaberane aDe. mUTha game teTalI baMne majabUta pakaDI hoya chatAM akkalabera talavArane AkarSe. A prayoga sAva guptapaNe meM ane mArA mitre karyo ane saphaLa thayo eTale mALA sAta rUpiyAmAM kharIdI temaja eka suMdara DabbImAM caMdana kesara AdinA sugaMdhI bichAnAmAM tene suvADI. roja ame baMne athavA chevaTe ekAda nAhI dhoI e mALAthI amuka japa karIe ane vividha siddhionI AzA

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sAmAjika ane dhArmika jIvanano paricaya - 49 bAMdhIe. dhIre dhIre bIjAoe jyAre jANyuM tyAre mArA viSe evI mAnyatA baMdhAI ke sukhalAla maMtrajJa che. hitavijaya nAmanA mUrtipUjaka ekalavihArI sAdhue mane eka yaMtra batAvyo. ane kapUra caMdananA pANI vatI ene dorI enA upara vijayapahurano japa karavA kahyuM ane kahyuM ke japa pachI e yaMtra dhoI tenuM pANI pIvA ke pAvAthI moTuM vighna paNa zame che. koI pAsethI bhaktAmara-kalyANa maMdira stotramAM maMtra ane teno japavidhi paNa jANI lIdho. savA lAkha namokkAra maMtranA japano vidhi jANI laI e japa paNa karyo. padmAsane besI karavAnA keTalAka japo paNa zraddhApUrvaka lAMbA vakhata lagI karyA A dhUne je pratiSThA UbhI karI hatI tenI kasoTInA prasaMgo paNa AvyA. bIjAoe e kasoTIomAM niSphaLatA na joI, paNa mane potAne mArI niSphaLatAnuM spaSTa bhAna thaI gayuM. gAmamAM eka chokarIne sarpadaMza thayelo. koI bIjA jhera utAranAre e kesa sAva asAdhya gaNI mUkI dIdho tyAre mane jANanAra mitro e chokarIne mArI sAme lAvyA. huM tibeTanA lAmA ane vedapAThI brAhmaNonA utsAhathI zraddhA ane AzApUrvaka uccasvare samaMtra stotrapATha karavA lAgyo. AsapAsa vIMTaLAyela ToLuM to zraddhAvaMta hatuM ja, paNa jema jema mAro pATha AgaLa cAlato gayo tema tema e chokarI viSavegathI dabAtI cAlI. ane aMte mAre ene choDI devI paDI. chappananA duSkALamAM pitAjI bahu kiMmata ApI eka sarasa tAjI viyAyela bheMsa lAvyA. pADuM marI gayuM. ane bheMsa dUdha ApatI aTakI. duSkALa, ghInI moMghavArI ane hamaNAM ja karela bheMsano kharca - e kAraNe bheMsanuM dUdha detAM baMdha thavuM saune vasamuM lAge e svAbhAvika hatuM. meM gharanA nokara ujamazIne pelo yaMtra dhoI pANI ApyuM. ane kahyuM ke e bheMsane pAI de. alabatta, yaMtrano saMpUrNa vidhi hitavijaya yatinA kahyA pramANe ja karavAmAM Avyo hato. banyuM ema ke bheMsanA peTamAM pANI gayuM ne thoDI vAra pachI teNe thoDuM dUdha paNa ApyuM, paraMtu enuM e dUdha chelluM ja hatuM. tyArabAda vadhAre kALajIpUrvaka japa karI, yaMtra dhoI pANI keTalIye vAra pAvAmAM AvyuM, paNa bheMzabAI to phakyAM te phasakyAM ja. A sivAya paNa keTalAka maMtra-yaMtranA prayogo karelA, paraMtu ekaMdara mane samajAyuM ke A badho bhrama che. jyAM saphaLatA dekhAya che tyAM paNa kAkatAlIya nyAya" jevuM ja bane che. ahberanI mALA pratye talavAronuM je AkarSaNa joyeluM tenuM bhautika kAraNa paNa samajAI gayuM ane akkalaberanI mALA viSeno bhrama paNa bhAMgyo. vaDhavANa kempanI masjidamAM rahela eka phakIra pAsethI meLavela musalamAnI maMtronA prabhAva viSenI daDha zraddhA paNa cAlI gaI. ane chevaTe maMtra-taMtra-yaMtranI A badhI jALa akkalaberanI mALA ane te sAthe saMkaLAyelA vahemo - e badhuM eka ja divase eka ja sAthe choDI dIdhuM ane mitra gulAbacaMdane kahI dIdhuM ke tAre rAkhavuM hoya to rAkha. huM ene kadI aDavAno nathI. tuM jANe che ke have huM vidyAdhyayana mATe kAzI javAnI taiyArI karI rahyo chuM.

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pao * mAruM jIvanavRtta dhArmikono paricaya ke huM jenaparaMparAnA ane vizeSa karIne sthAnakavAsI paraMparAnA saMskAro dharAvato. vaDIlo ane guruoe karelI vyAkhyA pramANe ema paNa mAnato ke jainadharma eTale jhINo dharma ane jhINo dharma to bIjA badhA vUla dharmo karatAM uttama ja hoya. tema chatAM karatAM hoIe te karIe ane bIjA dharma viSe sAcuM che ke khoTuM che enI mAthAkUTamAM paDyA sivAya je banatuM hoya te joyA karIe - evI parApUrvathI rUDha thayelI hindu-samAjanI sAMskArika lAkSaNikatAne paNa poSya jato. dekhato tyAre ja sAyalAnI lAlA bhagatanI prasiddha jagyAnA te vakhatanA mahArAja bhagavAnadAsanI chAyA paDelI. te mArA gAmamAM Ave tyAre temanI padharAmaNI thatI. temanA anuyAyI bhagata bAvAo jhAMja pakhAja . sAthe lAlajI Avo to vahelA Avajo sAthe trikama chogALAne lAvajo evAM bhajano gAtAM gAtAM mahArAjajIne lAve. UMcA kadAvara ghoDA upara DaMko ane nizAna hoya, nekI pokArAtI hoya. A jeTale aMze kautuka preratuM teTale aMze zraddhA na preratuM tema chatAM bhagavAnadAsajInA camatkAro viSenI lokomAM cAlatI vAto viSe jarAya azraddhA thayelI nahi. sAdhu bAvA tyAgI saMtasaMnyAsIne AdarathI jovAnA A saMskAre mane have jyAM tyAM jato karyo. mitra gulAbacaMda eka svAminArAyaNa saMpradAyanA brahmacArI pAsethI thoDA paisA ApI abhrakabhasma laI temanA kahyA pramANe dUdhano prayoga karato. eNe e brahmacArInA guNo viSe avAranavAra mane kaheluM, paNa e to rahetA pAMca gAu dUra AvelA mULI zaheranA suprasiddha svAminArAyaNa maMdiramAM. huM emanAM darzananI taka zodhato te have maLI gaI ane temanI pAse tyAM gayo. temanI mIThAze ane mitabhASitAe mane kAMIka Akaryo. e svAminArAyaNanuM vizALa maMdira to dekhato tyAre ja joyeluM ane sAyalAnI lAlA bhagatanI vizALa jagyA temaja vizALa mUrtio pahelIvahelI joi navAI pAmelo tema A maMdiranI vizALatAthI paNa navAI pAmelo, paNa mAruM kharuM kautuka te tyAre jAgyuM ke jyAre meM sAMje saMkhyAbaMdha gRhastha anuyAyIo temaja sAdhu brahmacArIone tAlabaddha TApoTA sAthe "jaya svAminArAyaNa jaya svAminArAyaNa' ItyAdi gAtA pahelavahelA joyA. vi. saM. 1956nA duSkALa vakhate vAyarA phUMkAtA. varasAdanI AzA saune AkAza tarapha jovA preratI. tevAmAM gAma bahAra dUra khetaramAM eka bAvo AvI rahyAnA samAcAra gAmamAM phelAyA. huM paNa loko sAthe temanI pAse gayo. temanA calamanA dhumADA to dekhI zakato nahi, paNa tenI gaMdha mArAthI chUpI rahI zakatI nahi. eka vRddha namratAthI pUchyuM ke mahArAja varasAdanuM zuM? temaNe javAba Apyo "baccA paMdara dina dhIraja rakho.

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sAmAjika ane dhArmika jIvanano paricaya 0 51 basa badhAe ene devavANI mAnI lIdhI. mArI zraddhA e upara coMTe nahi chatAM mauna rahyo. utsukatAthI rAha jotAM jotAM paMdaramo divasa AvI pahoMcyo, paNa megharAjanA nizAna DaMkA saMbhaLAyA nahi. ghaNA dRDha zraddhALuoe jyAre evI dalIla karI ke pAMcadaza divasa AghuMpAchuM thAya toya paMdara divasa kahevAya tyAre mane ema kahevAnuM sAhasa thaI AvyuM ke jo evA bhAmaTAne sAcuM bhaviSyat jJAna hoya to te paMdara divasa pUrA thayA pahelA ja badhI ja maLatI sagavaDa choDI zA mATe palAyana karI jAya ? yogAbhyAsano nAda A ja arasAmAM yogAbhyAsano paNa nAda lAgelo. enAM bIja to vavAyAM eka bALakRSNajI nAmanA jaina sAdhu dvArA. mULe e sAyalA saMghADAnA sAdhu, paNa pAchaLathI guru ane saMghADAthI chUTA paDelA. te kyAreka upAzrayamAM Utare to kayAreka gAma bahAranI dharmazALAmAM bIjA bAvAo sAthe paNa Utare. emano kaMTha sumadhura ane cidAnaMda, AnaMdaghana uparAMta kabIra, dAdupaMthI sAdhu-saMtonAM paNa arthavAhI AdhyAtmika bhajano gAyA kare ane yogIonI tema ja giranAramAM vasatA akaLa zaktivALA sAdhu-saMtonI vAto kare. mane paNa thayuM ke A bhaNavA-gaNavAnI lamaNAMphoDa zI ? yoga zIkhIe to badhuM vagara mahenate siddha thAya. bALakRSNajInI dRSTi paNa mArA upara coMTI. amAruM sakhya baMdhAyuM ane upAzrayamAM rahI comAsu paNa karyuM. madharAte UThIne ekalA AsanaprANAyAma kare, noLI-dhotI karma kare, e badhuM jANI temanA pratye mAro Adara vadhyo ane eka vA2 ame baMnee nakkI karyuM ke giranAra cAlyA javuM ane tyAMnI guphAomAMthI hajI jIvita saMbhaLAtA cidAnaMdane zodhI kADhavA ane tyAM ja rahI javuM. jo e ja varSe huM comAsAmAM vaDhavANa kempa uttamacaMdajI mahArAja pAse saMskRta zIkhavA gayo na hota ane tyAM rahyo na hota to kadAca giranAranI rakhaDapaTTI paNa thaI hota. jyAre gi2nA2 javAno mAro nizcaya moLo paDavAnI vAta bALakRSNajIe jANI tyAre mane AvA bhaNataranI nissAratA viSe kahyuM kharuM paNa enI mArA 52 asara thaI nahi. jyAre kAzIthI pAcho pharI Avato tyAre samAcAra jANI game teTale dUrathI paNa bALakRSNajI pote agara temanA kuMbhAra celA karmacaMdrajI maLI jatA. emanI dhUne emane giranAranI saphara paNa karAvI, paNa enuM pariNAma emanI pAsethI jANavAnI mane kadI taka maLI nahi. mArI vRtti saMskRta vidyAbhyAsa tarapha uttarottara vadhye ja jatI hatI tema chatAM yogazakti viSeno te vakhate paDelo saMskAra bhUMsAI javAne badale manamAM UMDAM mULa nAMkhI rahyo hato. atyAre mane lAge che ke e arasAmAM zrImad rAjacaMdrano bheTo thayo hota to kadAca mArI yogarucie te ja vakhate viziSTa rUpa dhAraNa karyuM hota. e bheTo na thavAnuM mukhya kAraNa to sAMpradAyika lokonA mithyA pracAramAM hatuM. pratiSThita gaNAtA ane zAstranA vidvAna manAtA temaja nAnI uMmaramAM guru tarIke svIkArela amIcaMdajI RSi jevAnA mukhathI sIdhesIdhuM sAMbhaLeluM ke rAyacaMdra to gRhastha che ane

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para che mAruM jIvanavRtta potAne guru tarIke pUjAve che. che to cothe guNasthAne ane DoLa kare che chaThThA guNasthAnano temaja paccIsamA tIrthaMkara hovAno. AvI vAtothI bhaDakI saraLa ane zakya hovA chatAM paNa temane sAkSAt maLI zakyo nahi. saMpradAyaviccheda tarapha vi. saM. 1959nA comAsAmAM vaDhavANa kempamAM hato tyAre jijJAsA mane sthAnakvAsI upAzraya bahAra javA paNa preratI. tyAM jaina maMdira pAse cAlatI jaina pAThazALAmAM ujamazI mAstara bhaNAvatA. te bahu jakkI ane dalIlabAja. te mane avAranavAra maMdira ane pAThazALAmAM mITiMga vakhate carcA thAya tyAre laI jAya. mUrtinI mAnyatA viSe paNa ame baMne aMdaroaMdara carcA karIe. A carcA daramiyAna huM keTaluMka vadhAre vicArato thayo. joke mane koI ujamazI mAstara sAthe jatAM rokatuM nahi. chatAM kyAreka kyAreka mane bhaNAvanAra vidvAnuM uttamacaMdajI mahArAja mUrtinI mAnyatA viruddha zAstromAMthI purAvAo saMbhaLAvatA. saMbhava che ke bIjA keTalAkane evo Dara peTho hoya ke zAstrajJa manAto mArA jevo maMdiramAM jato Avato thAya to temanA saMpradAyane dhakko pahoMce. chatAM mAre kahevuM joIe ke koIe paNa mArA moDhe evI saMkIrNatA darzAvelI nahi. bIjI bAju mUrtimAM mAnanAra lokomAM evA DoLI ane abhimAnI lokone huM joI zakato ke, avAranavAra maMdire jatA-AvatA mane joI evo pracAra karatA kadI cUkatA nahi ke, juone sukhalAla jevo zAstrajJa mANasa paNa maMdire Ave che to zAstromAM mUrtinI mAnyatA jarUra hovI joIe. A badhuM mArI jANa bahAra na hatuM, paNa huM to have mAtra jijJAsAthI ja navuM navuM jovA-jANavA ne vicAravA prerAyo hato. atyAra sudhInA mArA mana upara mUrtimAtAnI samarthaka koI prabaLa chApa paDI na hatI. temaja mUrtivirodhanA saMskAro paNa have eTalA prabaLa rahyA na hatA. saMskRtAbhyAsa mATe kAzI prayANano prayatna vi. saM. 1959 ane 60 daramiyAna koI vakhate jaina dharmaprakAza' nAmanA mAsika dvArA jANavA pAmyo ke eka saMvegI sAdhu kAzImAM saMskRta adhyayana karavA-karAvavA keTalAka sAdhuo ane gRhastha vidyArthIo sAthe jaI rahyA che. te arthe mAMDalanA zrImAnoe sArI udAratA paNa batAvI che ItyAdi. UMDuM ane vizALa saMskRta adhyayana karavAnI rucino daDha pAyo to naMkhAI gayo hato, paNa mArI parAdhIna sthiti kAzImAM javAnI mane kalpanA sudhdhAM karAvI zake tema na hatuM ane vadhArAmAM pitAjI temaja badhA vaDIlono bhaya paNa hato ke AvI vAta kADhuM to te mane mUkha ja gaNe ane Thapako paNa Ape. adhyayananI tIvra ruci ane tene dabAvatI paristhitinI kalpanA vacce rAtadivasa mana jholAM khAtuM. mane barAbara yAda che ke e divasomAM aneka vAra AkAzamAM UDyAnAM svapno AvelAM. have mane lAge che ke evAM svapnonuM kAraNa ciMtAjanya vAta

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sAmAjika ane dhArmika jIvanano paricaya - 53 prakRtino udraka hovuM joIe. je tyArabAda kadI AvyAnuM yAda nathI. chevaTe gharanuM koI na jANe tevI rIte mitra dvArA kAzI patravyavahAra zarU karyo. joke eno hAmAM javAba AvavA viSe koI AzA na hatI temaja AvavAnI hA lakhe toya ghara taraphathI sammati maLavAnI to lezamAtra AzA na hatI. meM manamAM nakkI karyuM ke jo kAzIthI dharmavijyajI mahArAja AvavAnI hA lakhe to game te bhoge jarUra javuM, paNa javAnI chellI kSaNa, Ave tyAre ja vaDIlone kahevuM, tyAM lagI A vicAra gupta ja rAkhavo. eka divase acAnaka kAzIthI javAba Avyo ke, "tame bhale AMkhe na dekho chatAM AvI zako ane vIramagAmathI keTalAka vidyArthIo AvanAra che emanI sAthe tame Avo. te mATe viramagAma jAo ane tyAM kAzI jaina pAThazALAnI ophisamAM sekreTarIne maLo. huM temane sIdhuM sUcavuM chuM.' ityAdi. A kArDa jyAre vAMcyuM tyAre mArA harSano pAra rahyo nahi, paNa sAthe kone levo ane kaI rIte javuM e ja bhAre mUMjhavaNano prazna hato. mAro pahelethI ja vicAra hato ke gharanA koI paNa mANasa sAthe na javuM. nahi to mArAthI khAnagI rIte paradezamAM paDatI muzkelInA samAcAra pitAjIne ApI adhyayanamAM vighna UbhuM karaze. huM eTaluM to samajato hato ke, eTale dUra parAdhIna sthitimAM ajANyA vacce rahetAM mane jarUra akalpita muzkelIo AvavAnI. sAthe ja e paNa daDha nirdhAra hato ke muzkelIo game te Ave toya kAzI javuM ane tyAM rahI bhaNavuM. vatana lImalImAM plega hovAthI badhA bahAragAma gayelA. sahakuTuMba pitAjI najIkanA ja muMjapara gAmamAM hatA, jyAre huM mULI gayelo ane tyAM ja kAzIthI AveluM kArDa maLeluM. pitAjI te ja divase korTanA kAma prasaMge mULI AvelA. meM emane kAzI javAno mAro vicAra ane tyAMthI Avelo patra e viSe TUMkamAM kahyuM, paraMtu vAta zarU karyA pahelAM ja meM emane bhArapUrvaka putranA lADathI kahI dIdhuM ke jo tame mane prathama ja javAnI nA pADazo to amaMgaLa ane apazukana thaze eTaluM ja, bAkI huM to javAno chuM, te chuM ja, A badhuM sAMbhaLI pitAjI mUMjhAyA ane avAka thaI gayA. chevaTe kahyuM ke tyAre Aje mArI sAthe ghera cAla. tyAM jaI vicArIzuM. emanA manamAM vaizyaprakRti pramANe ema jarUra sUchyuM haze ke ghera Avaze ane dhIre dhIre samajAvavAthI Ubharo zamI jaze. temanI sAthe rAte ghera pahoMcyo. bhojAIe A vAta sAMbhaLI to te paNa dimUDha thaI gaI. meM ene kahI dIdhuM ke bhAbhI tamAre kAMI hA-nA karavI nahi. nahi to apazukana thaze eTaluM ja, huM to jamyA vinA ja nIkaLI jaIza. eNIe bIje divase lApasI karI, paNa mane bhAvI nahi. huM pitAjI ane mArA samavayaska phaInA dIkarA cunIlAla, je mAre tyAM ja rahetA - ame traNeya vaDhavANa kempa AvyA. cunIlAlane viramagAma sudhI laI javAnI IcchA hatI, paNa moTAbhAI khuzAlacaMda vaDhavANa kempamAM hatA te vacce AvyA. temano svabhAva pitAjI jevo mRdu nahi ane taDaphaDa paNa karI nAkhe. pahelAM to mArI vAta sAMbhaLI

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pa4 - mAruM jIvanavRtta nArAja thayA ane kahyuM ke tuM eTale dUra jA to loko ema ja kahe A to mAthethI bhAra utAryo. amAre bIjAne moTuM zuM batAvavuM? vaLI bhaNavuM ja hoya to tArI icchA pramANe ATalAmAM kayAMya najIka paMDita hoya tyAM goThavaNa karIe, ItyAdi. chevaTe mAro makkama nirNaya jANI teo pote vIramagAma sudhI sAthe AvavA taiyAra thayA. temanA manamAM UMDe UMDe e vicAra to hato ja ke chevaTe vIramagAma sudhI jaI tyAMthI eka agara bIjI rIte samajAvI Ane pAcho lAvIza ane Ano Ubharo yukti-prayuktithI zamAvI daIza. ane baMne vaDhavANa kempa sTezanathI te vakhate cAlatI broDageja bI. bI. enDa sI. AI. TrenamAM beThA. mArA mATe viramagAmanI dizA ane broDageija Trena baMne pahela-vahelAM hatAM. TrenamAM ADIavaLI vAta kADhI bhAI samajAve, paNa huM to badhira ja thaI gayelo. vIramagAma phaInI dIkarI pArvatIbahena jhaverIne tyAM UtaryA. pArvatIbahena umare moTAM, vidhavA temaja zAsanapriya eTale temaNe to pahelAM moTAbhAI upara varALa kADhI ane pachI mArA upara. mane narama pADavA moTAbhAIne bhAvatuM maLI gayuM. meM kahyuM ke sekreTarIone maLIe pachI joI laIzuM. moTA sekreTarI ratnacandra, je vIramagAmanI hAIskUlanA heDamAstara, umare vRddha, kAne kAMIka baherA ane svabhAve saraLa temaja dhArmika hatA. nAnA sekreTarI choTAlAla trikamadAsa pArekha, je te vakhate DisTrikTa plIDarano abhyAsa karatA ane uMmare lagabhaga mArA jevaDA. e buddhizALI, svabhAve kAMIka teja, paNa spaSTabhASI. choTAbhAI atyAre amadAvAdamAM rahe che ane vakIlAta kare che. A bane sekreTarIone ophisamAM maLyA. teo paNa mArI sthiti joI navAI pAmyA ane kahyuM ke ahIM oNphisamAM to kAzIthI mahArAjajIno sukhalAla viSe koI patra nathI. temaja tyAM javA mATe bIjA je vidyArthIo AvavAnA hatA te paNa hajI AvyA nathI, ItyAdi. baMne sekreTarIoe aMgrejImAM kAMIka vAtacIta karI. e mleccha bhASAthI hajI lagI huM bhraSTa thayo na hato, paNa bhraSTa thayela mArA moTAbhAIe vAtacItano marma jANI lIdho. marmamAM choTAlAlabhAInI dalIla e hatI ke dharmavijaya mahArAja sukhalAlanI apaMga sthiti jANyA chatAM kAzI kema bolAvatA haze? ane tyAM e bhaNaze kevI rIte? temaja enI muzkelI koNa nivAraze, ItyAdi. chevaTe sekreTarIoe kahyuM ke ame kAzI patra lakhIe chIe. je javAba Avaze te tamane jaNAvIzuM. IcchA hoya to tyAM lagI viramagAma raho agara ghera jaI zako. moTAbhAIne vaLI vadhAre bhAvatuM maLI gayuM. mane kahe - jo ! sekreTarIo mokalavA icchatA nathI. aMgrejImAM emanI e ja matalabanI vAta hatI. have bhAIne anukULa thaI meM kahyuM ke tyAre ApaNe pAchA pharIe. huM kempamAM rahI javAbanI rAha joIza. jo nA AvI to ghara che ja, ItyAdi. manamAM ema nakkI karyuM ke ATha-daza divasamAM jo anukULa javAba na Ave to ja kempathI pAchA ghera javuM.

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8. kAzI pAThazALA kAzInI prathama yAtrAnA anubhavo kempamAM hato tyAM to lagabhaga ATheka divasamAM vIramagAmathI tAra Avyo ke sukhalAlane mokalo. huM vIramagAma Avyo tyAM kAzI bhaNavA janAra bIjA eka vidyArthI paNa AvI gayela hatA. amAre baMnee sAthe javuM ema paNa nakkI thayuM. sAthe cAlanAra vidyArthI prAMtijanI zALAnA zikSaka hatA. emanuM nAma nAnAlAla ane svabhAve garIbaDA temaja bIkaNa. teo paNa mArI peThe kadI ghara bahAra dUra gayelA nahi. sAhasa ke navo rasto kADhavAnI sUjha nAnAlAlamAM ochI, paNa te dekhatA. mArAmAM evI kaMIka zakti kharI, paNa huM aNadekhato. tema chatAM sAMkhya paraMparAnA prakRti-puruSa saMbaMdhI aMdhagunyAye' amAruM pravAsa cakra TrenanA cakra sAthe ja gatimAna thayuM. moTAbhAI ane bIjA snehIo gaLagaLA thaI pAchA kyuM. mane to ekeya AMsu AvyuM nahi. navA * navA manoratho ane bhayo manamAM uddabhavavA lAgyA. ame baMnee ekabIjAno paricaya sAdhyo, paNa koNa jANe pahelethI ja nAnAlAlano utsAha mane bahu moLo dekhAyo. sAthe mIThAInA bhAtAnI pUratI sagavaDa hatI. pravAsamAM jarUrI evI mAhitI meLavavAnuM koI sAdhana pAse na hatuM. na to ame jANatA ke relave-gAIDa hoya che ane te upayogI thaI paDe che, ke na koIe e viSe kazI jANa karI. gADI ane manoratho AgaLa vadhye jatAM hatAM. samaya vArApharatI navI-navI mIThAIo khAvAmAM ane navAM-navAM sTezanonAM nAma jANavAmAM pasAra thato hato. peTa have vadhAre vakhata mIThAI ane pANIne aMdara samAvI zake tema hatuM nahi; ane DabbAmAM hAjata mATenuM kazuM sAdhana paNa na hatuM. gADI UbhI rahI UpaDI jAya tyAre ja nakkI karI zakatA ke are ! ATalA vakhatamAM to ApaNe gADImAMthI nIce UtarIne paNa laghuzaMkA karI pAchA caDI zakyA hota. pAlanapura ane Abu jevAM sTezano pasAra thaI gayAM, paNa gADI UpaDI jaze e bhayathI ame nIce UtarI zakyA nahi. mAravADamAM morI beDA sTezana sudhImAM sahanazIlatAnI chellI hada AvI gaI. ame baMne ema nakkI karIne UtarI gayA ke gADI jAya to cho jAya, bIjI pakaDIzuM. ema yAda che ke vadhAre paDatA dabANane lIdhe baMdha paDelo pezAba ghaNI vAre Utaryo. bIjI gADI kyAre Avaze e rAha jotAM tyAM beThA hatA.

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pa6 mAruM jIvanavRtta daramiyAna mane thayuM ke lAvone sTezana-mAstarane ja pUchIe. parANe nAnAlAlane taiyAra karI sAthe laI huM mAsTara pAse gayo ane pUchyuM. pahelAM to mAstare TUMkamAM patAvyuM, paNa amane gujarAtImAM bolatA joI temano dezaprema UbharAI Avyo ane gujarAtImAM ja pUchyuM ke koNa cho ane kyAM jAo cho ItyAdi. kAzI javAnI ane te paNa saMskRta bhaNavA javA mATenI vAta amArA moDhethI sAMbhaLatAM ja temanI vaiSNavatA amArI vahAre AvI. temaNe kahyuM beso. huM tamane gADImAM sArA DabbAmAM besADI ApIza ane hamaNAM AvatI pahelI gADI javA do, tyAra bAda bIjI AvatI phAsTa TrenamAM tamane pAyakhAnAvALA DabbAmAM ja besADI ApIza. amane to puruSottama bheTyA ane sagavaDiyA DabbAmAM besI AgrA pahoMcyA. ane AgrAthI TuMDalA thaI sagavaDaagavaDe kAzI-rAjaghATa sTezane rAtre pahoMcyA. pAsenI dharmazALAmAM UtaryA, evA vicArathI ke rAte kayAM javuM? vaDhavANa-kempathI ravAnA thayA pahelAM eka lallujI nAmanA muni pAsethI sAMbhaLeluM ke vArANasI dhUrtavatueTale mAruM mana kAzInI dhUrtatA viSe sazaka hatuM ja, tevAmAM paMDyAoe amane gheryA. lAlaca, pUrvajone sadgati pahoMcADavAno sadupadeza, bIjA ThagapaMDyAothI sAvadha rahevAnI cetavaNI vagere emanA vividha zALA chatAM ame to dharmazALAmAM rahI gayA. UMgha kone Ave ! savAra paDI ane gADI karI. moDhe mAMgyA paisA ApI TharAva evo karyo ke, teNe amane javAnI jagyAe ja pahoMcatA karavA, paNa gADIvALo to amuka jagyAe jaI kahevA lAgyo ke ahIMthI AgaLa gADI jatI ja nathI. chevaTe te vakhate jyAM yazovijaya jaina-pAThazALA bhADAnA makAnamAM cAlatI tyAM sUtaTolAmAM ThekANAsara pahoMcI gayA. bajAramAMthI makAna sudhI pahoMcavA mATe nIce polI ane upara sAva paththarathI jaDelI evI jiMdagImAM kadI nahi joyelI durgadha pheMkatI sAMkaDI galIomAMthI pahela-vahelA pasAra thavuM paDeluM. kRtajJatApUrvaka utsAhamUrti zrI dharmavijaya mahArAjajInAM prathama darzana karyA. ane temanA svAgatapUrNa madhura AzvAsanathI rastAnuM badhuM duHkha bhulAI gayuM. A vakhate vi. saM. 1960no caitra mAsa hato. kAzI pAThazALAmAM pAThazALA zarU thaye ekAda varSa vItyuM haze. atyAre pAThazALA kanaiyAlAla jainanA bhADe rAkhela makAnamAM tema ja pAse Avela bAbu dhanapatasiMhajInI dharmazALAmAM cAlatI. kAzImAM jaI pAThazALA sthApavI, ane je vidyAdhAmamAM rahI upAdhyAya yazovijayajIe nyAya temaja darzanono asAdhAraNa abhyAsa karyo hato ane vidvAna brAhmaNo dvArA nyAyavizArada pada prApta karyuM hatuM te ja vidyAdhAmamAM sAdhuo ane gRhastha vidyArthIone pUratI sagavaDa ApI bhaNAvI navayuganA yazovijayajIo taiyAra karavA - e vicAra dharmavijayasUrIzvarajIne gujarAtamAM uddabhavelo. dharmavijayajI mahArAja mULe kAThiyAvADa mahuvAnA vaizya ane saTTo paNa khelelA. teo bhAre bAhoza, utsAhI ane vidyApriya hatA. bhAvanagara jaina dharma prasAraka sabhAnI pratiSThAnA prANaprada vRddhicaMdajI mahArAjanA

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kAzI pAThazALA 57 teo ziSya thAya. vRddhicaMdajI mahArAjanA bIjA keTalAka ziSyo vidyAnI bAbatamAM dharmavijaya mahArAja karatAM caDe evA paNa hatA ane hajI paNa evA eka vijaya nemisUrIzvara hayAta che. chatAM navayuganI bhAvanAne anurUpa gRhasthomAM paNa vidyApracAra karavAno ane aneka prakAranI prAcIna vidyAonA sarvotkRSTa dhAma tarIke cirakALathI vikhyAta evA hindusthAnanA laMDanasamA kAzI zaheramAMthI vidyAdhana meLavI jaina samAjane vidyAsamRddha karavAno abhUtapUrva vicAra AvyAnuM mAna to zrI dharmavijya mahArAjanA ja phALe jAya che. atyAra agAu vijyAnaMda sUrIzvara, rAjendrasUri jevA prabhAvazALI ane vidvAna sAdhuo thaI gayA hatA, paNa gRhasthomAM zAstrIya vidyAnI navesarathI pratiSThA karavAno temaja kAzI jevA sthAnano sadupayoga karI levAno vicAra koIne Avyo na hato. dharmavijaya mahArAjajInA A vicArano virodha keTalAka TUMkI dRSTinA gRhastho tema ja sAdhuoe karelo paNa kharo ema meM temanA ja mukhethI sAMbhaLyuM hatuM, paNa sadbhAgye temaNe koInI 52vA na karI. sAhasa ane sadvicArane anuyAyI maLI ja Ave che e satya temanI bAbatamAM jaladI siddha thayuM. temane ghaNA sahAyako maLI AvyA. mahArAjInA adbhuta sAhase mahesANAvALA veNIcaMda sUracaMda jevA atikriyAkAMDIne paNa AkaryAM. page cAlI keTalAka vidyArthIo ane cha sAdhuo sAthe mahArAjajI kAzI pahoMcelA. A sahacArI cha sAdhuomAMthI cAra emanA potAnA ziSya ane be bIjAnA ziSya hatA. emAMthI atyAre traNa ja jIvita che. gujarAtI TreniMga kaoNlejamAM siniya2 thayela mohanavijyajI atyAre ziSyo sahita birAje che ne ati vRddha che. indravijyajI, jeo dharmavijayajI mahArAjanA mukhya ziSya thAya te ekalavihArI tarIke vicare che. temanA te vakhatanA laghuziSya vallabhaviya paNa ekavihArI thaI jyAM tyAM phare che. sAthe Avela cha sAdhuo uparAMta paccIseka gRhastha vidyArthIo haze, je moTe bhAge gujarAta-kAThiyAvADanA hatA. kanaiyAlAlavALA pAThazALAnA makAnamAM traNa mALa hatA. makAna kAzInA jUnI DhabanAM makAno paikI ja hatuM. darzanendriya ane ghrANendriya baMnenI sahanazIlatAnI parIkSA kare evA e pAyakhAnAne bhistI AvI masakathI dhoI nAMkhe ke tarata ja emAM pravezavA icchatA umedavAronI harIphAI cAlatI. jo huM dAkSiNyane lIdhe ke bIje kA2Ne jarAka pAchaLa paDI gayo to mArI ghrANendriya mane sahiSNu thavA pharamAvatI. jIvana mATe anivArya evI nihArakriyAnI vyavasthA viSeno Avo prabaMdha hato, jyAre bhojanavyavasthAno prabaMdha taddana ethI UlaTA prakArano hato. dainika bhojana ke parva-bhojanamAM ghI, dUdha, sAka2 AdinI jainone zobhe evI udAratA hatI. amArI pAThazALA to hindustAnIo mATe nihAra karatAM AhAranI sagavaDa ja prathama darajjo bhogave che. e paraMparAnuM pratibiMba mAtra pADatI. bIje mALe eka rUmamAM mAre rahevAnuM TharyuM. te ja rUmamAM pelA vaDhavANa kempavALA ujamazI mAstara emanA bhAI khImacaMda sAthe rahetA e mane bhAvatuM thayuM.

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58 mAruM jIvanavRtta baMne bhAIo mArI saMbhALa levAmAM ane jarUriyAtane pahoMcI vaLavAmAM ghara jevA siddha thayA. mArI sAthe Avela prAMtijavALA nAnAlAla to jANe mAruM janmAMtaranuM RNa patAvavA ja AvyA hoya ema siddha thayuM. teo AvatAMveMta bImAra paDyA ane paMdareka divasamAM ghera pAchA gayA. pAchaLathI sAMbhaLyuM ke teo gujarI paNa gayA. huM raheto te rUmanI lagolaga sAmenI ja rUmamAM maDhaDAvALA zivajI devazI temanA be kacchI sahacArI sAthe rahetA. je mAtra thoDA vakhata mATe ja kAzImAM adhyayana karavA AvelA. temano TIkhaLI vidUSaka svabhAva bahu ramUja Apato to kyAreka ciMtanamAM viba paNa karato. temanI utsAhI temaja nATakIya vakatRtA jyAre pahelavahelI sAMbhaLI tyAre temanI tarapha huM AkarSAyo. kAzInA atitApathI bhaThThI jevA banI jatA kevaLa paththaranAM makAnomAM rahevAno jIvanamAM pahelo ja prasaMga hato, paNa iSTa sobata, bIjI sagavaDa temaja bhAvAnI sAMpaDela takane lIdhe te tApa ane garamI saheje pacI gayAM. pAThazALAmAM vidyAraMbha huM pahoMcyo te divase ghaNuM karI paMcamI hatI. paMcamIne jainaloko jJAnatithi lakhe che eTale te ja divase mAro vidyAraMbha zarU thayo. amIvijayajI nAmanA munie mane hemacandrakRta abhidhAna ciMtAmaNinA prathama zloka uccArAvyAnuM yAda che. A to maMgaLAraMbha hato, paNa niyamita rIte pahelAM bhaNavuM e prazna AvatAM ja amIvijyajIe mane kahyuM ke tame to hemacandrakRta siddhahema nAmaka vyAkaraNa bRhadravRtti sAthe bhaNo. meM te vyAkaraNanuM nAma te ja vakhate pahelavaheluM sAMbhaLyuM. siddhAMtakaumudInuM nAma ane tenuM gaurava dezamAM ja sAMbhaLeluM ane te paNa sAMbhaLeluM ke siddhAMtakaumudInuM adhyayana kAzI jeTaluM sarasa bIje kyAMya thatuM nathI. tethI huM ene ja bhaNAvatAM saMskAra laI kAzI Avelo. saMkocAtAM saMkocAtAM mAro vicAra meM kahyo, paNa makkama svabhAvavALA. amIvijayajIe kahyuM ke sukhalAla kaumudImAM zuM evuM che ke jeno tamane moha che! haima vyAkaraNa to sarvAMgINa che ane tamArA jevA AMkhe na dekhanAra ja ene atheti pUrNa karI zakaze. emano kahevAno bhAva e hato ke haima vyAkaraNanuM pramANa bahu moTuM che, paNa te chapAyela na hoI lakhela pAnAM uparathI ja tamAre zIkhavAnuM che eTale eka sAthe ghaNAM pAnAM joI kadano bhaya tamane nahi thAya. thoDAM thoDAM pAnAM pAse rAkhavAM eTale bojo paNa nahi lAge. emaNe mane mIThAzathI ja kahyuM ke tamArA jevA jena vyAkaraNa nahi bhaNe to pachI brAhmaNo bhaNavA AvavAnA che ? vaLI, e paNa kahyuM ke tamAre cha hajAra pramANa laghuvRtti na zIkhatAM 18 hajAra pramANa brahavRtti ja zIkhavI. meM emanuM kathana svIkArI lIdhuM. pAThazALA sthapAI tyArathI ja temAM laghuvRtti sahita haimA vyAkaraNanuM adhyayana zarU thaI gayuM hatuM. thoDAka apavAdo sivAya badhA ja vidyArthIo laghuvRtti bhaNanAra hatA. bRhadravRtti zIkhanAra huM eka ja hato ane uMmare paNa bIjA vidyArthIo karatAM moTo eTale pAThazALAnA jagatamAM mobho paNa ThIka jAmyo.

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kAzI pAThazALA * 59 adhyApako savAre AvatA ane dhanapatasiMhajInI dharmazALAmAM adhyApana cAlatuM. mukhya adhyApaka aMbAdata zAstrI dAkSiNAtya hatA ane nyAyadarzana temaja kAvya-sAhitya bhaNAvatA. emanI pAse moTe bhAge sAdhuvarga ja bhaNato, jemAM dharmavijayasUrIzvarano paNa samAveza thAya che. bIjA adhyApaka haranArAyaNa tivArI. te vaiyAkaraNa hatA. ema kahI zakAya ke te vakhate adhyApakonI A pasaMdagI sArAmAM sArI hatI, kAraNa ke aMbAdatta zAstrIne potAnA guru suprasiddha naiyAyika sItArAma zAstrInuM pIThabaLa hatuM to tivArIjIne potAnA guru bhAratavikRta zivakumAra zAstrInuM pIThabaLa hatuM. uparAMta baMne potapotAnA viSayamAM pAragAmI, ane bhaNAvavAmAM utsAhI paNa hatA. ema yAda che ke te vakhate bemAMthI ekeyano mAsika pagAra paMdarathI vadhAre na ja hato. ane ATalo pagAra paNa adhyApako temaja jaina pAThazALA mATe bhUSaNarUpa lekhAto. mAre tivArIjI pAse bhaNavuM ema TharyuM kAraNa ke eka to teo ativyutpanna mahA vaiyAkaraNa ane bIjuM teo mArA AvyA pahelAMthI ja haima vyAkaraNa vidyArthIone bhaNAvavA lAgelA eTale enA saMketothI paNa paricita thayelA. lAMbA anubhava pachI atyAre paNa ema kahI zakuM chuM ke tivArIjIne guru banAvavAno yoga maLyo e mArA jIvanamAMnA aneka suyogo paikI eka suyoga hato. ( vizALa pramANathI tema ja lakhela pAnAne AdhAre bhaNAvAnA trAsathI kaMTALI rahe huM siddhahema vyAkaraNa choDI dauM ane kaumudI tarapha yA nyAyAdi viSayanI tarapha vaLuM evA bhayathI amIvijayajIe mane eka vAra haima vyAkaraNa viSe utsAhita karI pahelethI ja vADAmAM pUravA sAdhu-svabhAva pramANe bAdhA ApI ke, jyAM lagI bRhadravRtti pUrI na thAya tyAM lagI bIjuM kazuM ja bhaNavuM nahi." emaNe bAdhA to ApI, paNa mArI bhaNavAnI amuka agavaDa viSeno na to vicAra karyo ke na mane pUchyuM. mukhya kahI zakAya tema ja mane nirutsAha karI mUke evI agavaDo A hatI - 1. pothI lakhelI ane te paNa kAMIka azuddha ane akSaro paNa jaina vaLAMkanA chatAM suyogya vAcakanI apekSita goThavaNa nahi. 2. jhIlI zakuM teTaluM zIkhavA mATe adhyApaka pAse pUrato samaya nahi. 3. gherathI vAMcI taiyAra thaI AvyA vinA ja zIkhavavAnI paMDitonI purANa prathAne lIdhe thatI samaya tema ja zaktinI barabAdI. A muzkelIo chatAM mAruM gADuM to cAlyuM ja. zrI IndravijayajI svataMtrapaNe kaMI na bhaNe, paNa kAM to bIjA bhaNanAra sAthe manasvIpaNe joDAya ane kAM to bhaNanArane madada kare. huM navo ane meM prAraMbha paNa moDo karelo eTale teo bhaNavAmAM mArI sAthe joDAyA. kharI rIte teo bhaNatA nahi, paNa mane vAMcI ApatA ane bhaNavAmAM mAro utsAha TakAvatA, paNa emano mijAja teja ane kSaNika. konI sAthe kyAre ane kya nimitte e bagADI bese e kahevuM ja kaThaNa, paNa mAro ane emano to kAryasAdhaka meLA

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60 * mAruM jIvanavRtta maLI ja gayo. dharmavijayajI mahArAja mukhya kharA, paNa zAsana cAle IndravijayajInuM. teo dhAryA pramANe mahArAjajI pAse karAvI le. AthI ghaNA vidyArthIone sahevuM paNa paDatuM. pAThazALAnA navA makAnamAM mahArAjajIe gujarAtamAMthI prasthAna karyuM te pahelAM pAThazALA mATe mAMDala Adi sthAnomAM amuka phaMDa thayeluM. temanA kAzI AvyA pachI te phaMDamAM zrI veNIcaMda sUracaMde kAMIka vadhAro karI Apyo. pAThazALAnA kharca viSe kazI ja agavaDa hatI nahi. maharAjajInI IcchA e ja bajeTanuM pramANa ane mahArAjajI paNa evA hiMmatabAja ane kuzaLa ke game tyAMthI paisA meLavI ja le. have temano vicAra pAThazALA mATe svataMtra makAna kharIdavAno thayo. daramiyAna eka koThI maLI AvI, je aMgrejI koThInA nAmathI prasiddha hatI ane jyAM misisa enI bisenTe banArasamAM sarvaprathama zikSaNa ApavuM zarU kareluM. ke. sI. AI. vIracaMda dIpacaMda ane zeTha gokuLabhAI mULacaMda baMne mahArAjajInI madade AvyA ane temaNe pAThazALA mATe potAne nAme makAna kharIdI lIdhuM. ane e ja sAlanA comAsAmAM pAThazALA navA makAnamAM AvI. makAna pAMca mALanuM ati vizALa ane bhavya eTale emAM aneka navInavI pravRttio zarU thaI, paNa mAro ekAMgI rasa ane prayatna to mArA prAraMbhela adhyayanamAM ja hato. icchuM teTalI gatie ane teTalA saMtoSathI nahi, paNa mAruM gADuM cAlyuM ja jatuM. huM trIje mALe eka rUmamAM raheto, jenI jamaNI bAjunA rUmamAM mohanavijayajI ane DAbI bAjunA rUmamAM amIvijayajI bIjA eka kIrtivijayajI sAdhu sAthe rahetA. mArA rUmamAM be sAthIo hatA, jemAMnA eka zAntilAla kastura, je atyAre amadAvAdamAM kyAMka bhaNAve che. A sAthIothI mane ghaNI rAhata maLatI ane teo mane mAnatA paNa bahu, paraMtu kAzImAM AvyA pachI mArI najIkanI mitratA to bIjA eka vidyArthI sAthe baMdhAI. e mULe bagadANAnA ane emanuM nAma popaTalAla. te mArA pahelAM AvelA ane kAvya vagere bhaNatA. te hatA bahu svamAnI ane svataMtra eTale temane pAThazALAnuM manasvI temaja sAdhuzAhI taMtra pasaMda na AvatuM. ghaNI vAra teo pAchA cAlyA javAnuM vicAratA ane mAtra mane ja e vAta karatA. eka vAra kahe ke sukhalAlabhAI, A badhI mAthAphoDa zAne ! A karatAM yogAbhyAsa zo khoTo ? huM paNa kAMIka evA ja kAraNathI kaMTALelo eTale meM temane bALakRSNajIvALA jUnAgaDha javAnA saMkalpanI vAta karI. huM jAuM to te taddana taiyAra che ema popaTalAle mane kahyuM, huM paNa kAMIka pIgaLyo, paraMtu vizeSa vicArane aMte meM temane kahI dIdhuM ke huM to jUnAgaDha rahI zakuM nahi. chevaTe popaTalAla dezamAM cAlyA gayA ane mAro yoga to cAlato hato te pramANe mAtra vyAkaraNa viSe ja cAlu rahyo. haima vyAkaraNanA abhyAsanI samApti sAta rUpiyAmAM pAMca kalAka lagI bhaNAvavA AvatA eka janArdana nAmanA dakSiNI paMDita pAse mane eka kalAka vadhAre maLyo, jeno upayoga huM mAtra zIkheluM yAda karavAmAM

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kAzI pAThazALA * 6 1 karato. janArdana zAstrInA uccAro bahu cokhA eTale mane phAvatuM. zIkhavAmAM eka kalAka ane zIkheluM kaMThastha karI levAmAM eka kalAka ema mAtra be kalAka to goThavAyA, paNa mArI icchA ane zakti tethI vadhAre khorAka mAMgatI. huM mArA potAnA paisAthI paNa vadhAre vakhata mATe yogya vAcakanI sagavaDa karI zakuM tema hatuM ane tyAM to bahu kharca paDe tema hatuM paNa nahi chatAM meM tevI goThavaNa karavA mahArAjajIne saMkocavaza na kahyuM temAM meM pAchaLathI mArI ja bhUla joI. vadhAre pramANamAM navuM zIkhavAno ane tene yAda karavAno joIto prabaMdha na thayo eTale te vakhate samagra IcchA ane zakti ciMtana tarapha vaLyAM. jeTaluM zikhAtuM te badhuM kaMThastha to thatuM ja. jANe badhuM mukhastha rAkhavAno prAcIna zrutine zrutayuga ja avataryo hato. eTale kaMThastha pAThanuM pramANa roja vadhye jAya. te na bhulAya e mATe enuM punarAvartana satata cAlatuM. te tyAM lagI ke AhAra, vihAra ane bihAramAM mana punarAvartanamAM ja rokAyeluM rahetuM. mAruM punarAvartana vedapAThI brAhmaNanI peThe zabdapATha pUratuM na hatuM. arthaciMtana khUba karato eTale zIkhela pAThamAMthI aneka prazno uddabhavatA, tenuM samAdhAna adhyApaka tivArIjI pAsethI maLI jatuM. vAcananuM pramANa ochuM ane ciMtananuM pramANa vadhAre tethI UMDANamAM UtarAvAno lAbha thayo to jarUrI bIjI vastuo vAMcavAnuM rahI javAthI nukasAna paNa thayuM. A rIte 1960mAM zarU karela bRhadravRtti 1963mAM lagabhaga traNa varSe pUrI thaI. vakhata to kAMIka vadhAre gayo, paNa enA zAbdika ane Arthika saMskAro eTalAM UMDA paDyA ke Aje cAlIza varSa pachI paNa enAM dareka sUtra, dareka udAharaNa ane dareka carcita viSaya lagabhaga adhyAya ane pAdavAra thoDe prayatna smRtipaTa upara tAjAM thAya che. sAta adhyAya ane aThAvIsa pAdamAM pUrNa thatA saMskRta vyAkaraNane samApta karyA bAda AThamA adhyAya tarIke jANItuM prAkRta vyAkaraNa ApameLe ja zIkhI lIdhuM. saMskRtamAM pravAhabaddha bolavAnI dezamAM sevelI IcchA to amuka aMze siddha thaI ja hatI, paNa have prAkRtamAMya bolI zakavAnuM abhimAna poSAyuM. bhAratIya RSio ane vidvAnonI hajAro varSa thayAM evI mAnyatA baMdhAyelI che ke vyAkaraNanuM samyapha ane pUrNa jJAna bAkInAM badhAM zAstromAM yathArtha praveza karavAnI asalI cAvI che. anubhave e mAnyatAnA kharApaNA viSe mane leza paNa saMdeha rahyo nahi. nyAya, kAvya ne alaMkArano abhyAsa amIvijayajIe vacce bIjuM na zIkhavAnI bAdhA to ApI hatI, paNa te vadhAre vakhata TakI nahi. ane te ThIka ja thayuM. aMbAdatta zAstrI taka maLatAM ekalo houM tyAre mane kahe ke tame mArI pAse nyAya zIkho ane rasa to cAkho. tamArI buddhi nyAyayogya che, ItyAdi, zAstrIjI sAdhuone parizramapUrvaka bhaNAvatA, paNa temane pUrato saMtoSa thato nahi eTale koI yogya ziSyanI zodha karatA. bIjAne bhaNAvatAM temane avAranavAra sAMbhaLI huM paNa temanA tarapha AkarSAyelo. khAsa AkarSaNa to te divase vadhyuM ke jyAre saMskRtamAM zuddha pravAhabaddha bolatA eka aMgreja pAdarI sAthe zAstrIjI bhAratIya dArzanika

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62 - mAruM jIvanavRtta siddhAMto viSe vAtacIta karI rahyA hatA. tene lIdhe bAdhA toDI nyAya zIkhavAno prAraMbha karyo. ane vyAkaraNa pUrNa thayuM tyAM sudhImAM huM nyAyane lagatA prAthamika keTalAka grantho bhaNI paNa gayo, jemAM aneka TIkAo sahita tarkasaMgraha, muktAvalI ane pacavAdanA keTalAka granthono samAveza thAya che. nyAyamAM mane bahu rasa paDyo. huM samajato paNa ThIka - ThIka ane manana tethIye vadhAre karato. eTale mArA pahelethI bhaNatA keTalAyane huM nyAyazAstra samajAvato. zAstrIjI paNa mArA upara ThIka-ThIka prasanna rahetA. nyAyano pATha zIkhavo tyAre mane ghaNI vAra ema thatuM ke huM A viSaya kyAMka zIkhelo chuM. A pUrvajanmanA saMskAra hoya ke viSayanI samajaNa hoya te kahevuM kaThaNa che. jyAre vaMzaparaMparAthI Avo saMskAra prApta thayAnuM pramANa zodhI kADhavuM te to mArA mATe ethIya vadhAre agharuM che. vyAkaraNanA vADA bahAra saMcaravAnI muktatAe kAvya tarapha paNa preryo hato. raghuvaMza, kirAta, mAgha ane naiSadha e mahAkAvyono AsvAda vyAkaraNa tema ja nyAyanA thAkane haLavo banAvato. prAkRta kAvyo to jAte ja vAMcyAM. have alaMkArazAstra zIkhavAnI bhUmikA taiyAra thaI hatI ane tenI bhUkha paNa khUba jAgelI eTale vi. saM. 1964nA prAraMbhamAM sAhityadarpaNa zIkhavuM zarU karyuM. e viSayamAM sahAdhyAyI hatA mArA mitra vrajalAlajI. te hatA to bAhmaNa, paNa rahetA ane bhaNatA amArI pAThazALAmAM. kAvya ane sAhityanA sahAdhyAyane amane baMnene vadhAre najIka ApyAM. te hatA to vyuptana, paNa mArAthI uMmare nAnA ane eka nAnI uMmaramAM potAnA vatana varADamAMthI kAzI bhaNavA AvI gayelA tema ja AvatAMveMta ja kAzInA vediyA vidyArthIo vacce rahelA eTale laukika anubhavanI dRSTie aNaghaDa jevA kharA. ame baMne zAstrIjI pAse sAhityadarpaNa zIkhIe. emAM nAyaka-nAyikAnI aneka vyaMgyapUrNa uktio Ave. zAstrIjI TUMkamAM patAve. huM to samajI jAuM, paNa vrajalAlajInuM samAdhAna thAya nahi. e zaramathI zAstrIjIne pUche nahi ane kyAreka pUche to zAstrIjI kahe ke "jAo, zAdI kara lo. pIche pUchanA." Ama kahI zAstrIjI eka kAMkare be paMkhIo uDADatA. chokarAMo sAme zRMgAranuM rahasya khulluM karavAnI balA TALatA ane sAdhuonA paricayane lIdhe chokaramatamAM ja A brAhmaNa sAdhuonA hAthe muMDAI jaze ane jiMdagI bagADaze evI potAnI zaMkAnuM sUcana lagnano mArga batAvIne karatA. game tema hoya, paNa mane to sAhityadarpaNa dvArA laukika anubhavano zAstrIya AsvAda maLato ane pAchaLathI huM vrajalAlajIne samajAvI paNa deto. zarUAtanAM be varSamAM zIkhavA sivAyano samaya punarAvartana ane mananamAM jato to pAchalAM be varSamAM zIkhavA sivAyano samaya manana ane adhyApanamAM jato. tethI zrIharSe naiSadhamAM kahyA pramANe tradhAnapravIraH e cAra bhUmikAmAMthI pasAra thavAnI taka vidyAne anAyAse maLI. garatha gAMThe ane vidyA pAThe e zikhAmaNanA uttarArdhane atyAra lagI je huM barAbara anusaryo hato te kaMIka mArA saMjogonuM paNa

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kAzI pAThazALA 0 63 pariNAma hatuM. game tema hoya, paNa vi. saM. 1964nA vaizAkha sudhInA kAzIvAsanAM cAra varSa daramiyAna vyAkaraNa, kAvya, sAhitya, nyAya ane kozanI mArI ThIka ThIka taiyArI tema ja AgalA adhyayananI pUrvabhUmikA racAI kahevAya. jevuM tevuM ane thoDuM ghaNuM paNa jainazAstranuM jJAna dezamAM ja meLaveluM te kAzImAM mane badhI rIte bahu upayogI nIvaDyuM. mane mArA e jJAnanA chIcharApaNAnuM bhAna hatuM, paNa pAThazALAmAM to badhA ja mane jainazAstranI bAbatamAM agrasara jevo lekhatA. meM vicArapUrvaka ema nakkI karI lIdhuM ke kAzImAM rahuM tyAM lagI badhI zakti jainetara zAstro zIkhavAmAM ja kharacavI, kema ke jainazAstra e to gha2nI vAta che. ane kAzI choDyA pachI paNa game tyAM rahI enuM parizIlana ane adhyayana saMbhavita che. Avo nizcaya hato tema chatAM mitra vrajalAlajIne anusaravA khAtara temanA ratnAkarAvatArikA ane syAdvAdamaMjarInA cAlatA pAThane sAMbhaLI leto. eTale jaina tarkagranthono paNa anAyAse prAthamika paricaya vi. 1963 -64mAM thaI gayo. pAThazALAnI vyavasthA pAThazALAmAM sAdhanonI UNapa na hatI, paNa taMtra navAbI jevuM. sArvajanika kSetramAM paNa samartha rIte kAma ApI zake evA zikSaNa ApavA mATe zuM zuM zIkhavAnuM Avazyaka che ane te kaI rIte tema ja dRSTie zIkhavavuM joIe e viSayanI koI spaSTa dRSTi tyAM na hatI. asAMpradAyikatA ane udAratA viSenAM upadezakane zobhe evAM pravacanono varasAda varasavA chatAM sAdhu saMskAra, gaccha ane saMpradAyanA ati saMkucita vartuLamAMthI mukti pAmyo na hato. tyAgI jIvana temaja sAmAjika jIvananA mArgonI ane kartavyapradezonI bhedaka rekhAnuM spaSTa darzana na hovAne lIdhe tyAgI temaja gRhasthanA saMskAronuM baMne vargane na zobhe evuM hAnikA2ka mizraNa vidyAdhAmamAM paNa ghaTavAne badale vadhye ja jatuM hatuM. A ane AnA jevAM bIjAM kAraNone lIdhe maeNnejara ke munIma e mAtra ciThThInA cAkara ja banI rahetA. adhyayana, saMskRtinA ekAMgI pradezathI mukta thaI zakatuM nahi. jIvanacaryA samAjyogya ghaDAtI nahi ane pustakAlayanI badhI sagavaDa chatAM teno upayoga karavAnI cAvI bhAgye ja koIne lAdhatI. mahArAjI pote utsAhI ane AnaMdI prakRtinA hatA, paNa vidyArthIo tema ja sAdhuo vacce vadhatA jatA vADA temaja AcArabhraMzane sApha karI zakatA nahi. tethI dhIredhIre taMtramAM khUba saDo ekaTho thaI gayo ane te vi. saM. 1961nA comAsAnI caturdazInA parvanA divase ja dhaDAkA sAthe phUTI nIkaLyo. comAsAmAM sAdhuo eka niyata sthAna choDI kyAMya bahAra vicare nahi ane relave ke bIjAM vAhanono upayoga to AkhI jiMdagI na kare. AvI ni25davAda maryAdA chatAM traNa sAdhuo relavemAM besI kAzIthI gujarAta bhaNI cAlyA gayA. A vAtanI jANa thatAM ja pAThazALAmAM gamagInI phelAI, paNa vadhAre maraNAntika AghAta to

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64 - mAruM jIvanavRtta mahArAjajIne ja thayo. ema bane e svAbhAvika paNa hatuM. teo ja pAThazALA utpAdaka ane kartAdhartA. cAlyA janAra sAdhuo paNa temane lIdhe deza choDI kAzImAM AvelA. jaina samAjamAM navayuganA pravartaka tarIke temanuM ja nAma comera jANItuM thayeluM. muMbaI-kalakattA vagerenA aneka dhanADhyo temanI ja tarapha AzAnI mITa mAMDI joI rahyA hatA. have prazna e UThyo ke sAdhuo cAlyA gayA tenI jANe jANa koIne che ke nahi? jANa hoya to kone ane koNe temane TikiTa apAvI, koNe gADImAM besADyA? ane teo kyAM gayA ? ItyAdi. dhIre dhIre ghaTasphoTa thayo ke amuka vidyArthIo e bAbata jANe che. temaNe te kabUla karyuM ane madada karavAnA muddAnuM prabaLa samarthana paNa karyuM. A vakhate pAThazALAmAM be cokhkhA pakSo paDI gayA. eka mahArAjajInI bAjuno bacAva icchato ane bIjo tenI viruddhano. mArI sthiti sAva judI hatI, pahelAM to e ke huM sAdhuo cAlyA gayAnI vAta bahAra AvI tyAM lagI kazuM jANato ja nahi ane A ke te pakSa sAthe mAro kazo lagavADa hato nahi. mAruM taTasthapaNuM mahArAjajInA pakSavALAne bIjA pakSa sAthe mArA saMbaMdhanI zaMkA karAvatuM. mane mArA adhyayana-ciMtana ane manana sivAya bIjI ekeya vAtamAM rasa na hato, paraMtu tyAM banatA banAvothI sAva alipta rahevuM azakaya hatuM. eka divase kaMTALo AvavAthI evo vicAra Avyo ke A badhI vastu sIdhesIdhI pAThazALAnA poSaka zeTha varacaMda dIpacaMdane muMbaI jaI kahI devI. A vicAramAM sahabhAgI hatA mArI ja koTaDImAM rahetA zAntilAla. rAte vagara pUchatye nIkaLI javAnI karelI yojanA mArA ja vicArathI paDI bhAMgI. mane chevaTe ema thayuM ke A kacaro sApha karavA jatAM adhyayanakALa naSTa thaze ane pariNAma kAMI nahi Ave. huM mArI pravRttimAM ja parovAI gayo, paNa pAThazALAmAM thayela bhUkaMpanA dhaDAkA gujarAtamAM ane sarvatra saMbhaLAyA. vastusthitinI tapAsa karavA bhAvanagarathI zeTha kuMvarajI ANaMdajI vagere AvyA. A vakhate ja temanI sAthe mAro prathama paricaya thayo, je temanA chellA bhAga sudhI uttarottara vadhato ane vikasato ja gayo. tapAsa samitie vANiyAzAhIthI badhuM caDhuM ThAryuM ne kAzI pAThazALA jevI sarvopayogI siddha thaI zake evI saMsthA paDI na bhAMge evA zubhAzayathI hitaiSIoe sanmitra kapUravijayajIne gujarAtathI kAzI AvavA preryA. sanmitra mahArAjajInA nAnA gurubhAI. teo bhAvanagara kaoNlejamAM bhaNela eTale zikSaNanA navayugathI kAMIka paricita. svabhAve taddana saraLa ane guNagrAhI. temane paNa ema thayuM ke jo mArA javAthI saMsthA TakatI hoya to bIjAo game te kahe chatAM javuM. teo 196 ramAM potAnA traNa ziSyo sahita kAzI AvyA. mahArAjajInA ane pAThazALAnA harSano pAra na rahyo, paraMtu e harSa lAMbo samaya Takyo nahi. 1962nA ja comAsAmAM mahArAjajI ane sanmitra vacceno madhura saMbaMdha pUro thayo. pAThazALA upara navI AphatanAM vAdaLa gherAyAM. mahArAjajInA maMDaLa sAme samasyA e hatI ke,

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kAzI pAThazALA - 65 comAsuM pUruM thaye sanmitra vihAra karI jaze ke pAThazALAmAM ja rahI jaze ? jo rahI jAya to tyAM have mahArAjajIne rahevuM koI paNa rIte pAlave tema na hatuM. jo vihAra karavAnA hoya ane comAsuM pUruM thayA pahelAM ja vihAra karI jAya to paNa temAM mahArAjajInA maMDaLanI pUrI badanAmI thatI hatI. loko ema kahyA vinA na rahe ke, pAThazALAnA taMtrathI asaMtuSTa thaIne sanmitrane paNa nIkaLavuM paDyuM. pAThazALA bahAra ja kAzImAM anyatra sanmitra rahe temAM paNa mahArAjajInA maMDaLanI badanAmI hatI. chevaTe caro dvArA bAtamI maLI ke, sanmitra to vihAra karavAnA che. ane te sametazikhara tarapha javA dhAre che. A jANa thavAthI mahArAjajInA maMDaLe nakkI karyuM ke sanmitra vihAra kare te pahelAM ja temaNe vihAra karavo. e paNa jAhera thayuM ke mahArAjajI sametazikharanI yAtrA vAste comAsuM pUruM thatAM ja vihAra karaze. A jAherAta thatAMnI sAthe ja keTalAMka kAvAdAvAnAM cakro gatimAna thayAM. A badhAM cakronI gatinuM aMtima lakSya eka ja hatuM ane te e ke pAThazALAnA maMtrIo, enA poSaka dhaniko ane pAThazALAmAM rasa dharAvatA bIjAone paNa ema ThasAvavuM ke, jo mahArAjajI na hoya to pAThazALAnuM taMtra kadI cAlI zake nahi. ema ThasAvI chevaTe maMtrIo ane poSaka gRhastho dvArA AmaMtraNa pAmI pAchuM pAThazALAnuM taMtra potAnA hAthamAM ja rAkhavuM. e lakSyanI siddhi arthe jarUrI hatuM ke mahArAjajI vihAra karI jAya tyAre pAThazALA paNa vidyArthIothI khAlI thaI jAya. bhaktipravaNa kAcA vidyArthIone bhoLavI nAMkhe evI yukti bahAra AvI. jAhera thayuM ke, jeo sametazikharanI durlabha yAtrA karavA icchatA hoya teo nAma noMdhAve. badhAMne laI javAnI zakyatA nathI tethI noMdhAyela nAmamAMthI amukanI ja pasaMdagI thaze, ItyAdi noMdhaNI zarU thaI. te vakhate uparAuparI vidyArthIonI sabhAo bharAtI ane gurubhaktipreraka bhASaNo paNa thatAM. gurubhaktinuM vAtAvaraNa evuM jANyuM ke nAma noMdhAvavA mATe vidyArthIonI paDApaDI zarU thaI. A badhuM cAlatuM tyAre mAruM Asana kaMpita thavA lAgyuM. mAruM nAvaDuM vyAkaraNagaMgAnI majhadhAramAM hatuM. vacce ja DUbaze ke pAra jaze evo saMdeha utpanna thayo, paraMtu koI paNa rIte pAra ja pahoMcavuM e vicAre mane noMdhaNImAM nAma lakhAvatA rokayo. mane vicAra Avyo ke, ekavAra bhaNavAnuM anusaMdhAna tUTI gayuM ane kAzI chUTI to "aNInuM cUkayuM so varSe e nyAye badhuM rahI jaze ane anyatra gayA pachI tivArIjI jevA adhyApaka to maLaze ja nahi. mArA vicAranA paDaghA AsapAsanA vidyArthIomAM paNa paDyA. tethI mArI peThe bIjA paNa pAMca-dasa jaNAoe potAnAM nama noMdhAvyAM nahi. mahArAjajInA maMDaLamAM bhAre UhApoha zarU thayo. temane mArI vidyAniSThAnI jANa to hatI ja chatAM temane ema thayuM ke jo sukhalAla ahIM rahI jaze to bIjA ghaNA vidyArthIo rahevA lalacAze. temaja nAnuM paNa vidyArthImaMDaLa haze to kadAca sanmitra paNa vihArano vicAra mAMDI vALI, pAThazALAmAM ja rahI jaze ane e taMtra cAlaze

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66. mAruM jIvanavRtta to ApaNuM lakSya kadI siddha thaze nahi. AvI koI dhAraNAthI mahArAjajInA maMDaLanA mULiyAM jevA temaja mArI sAthe mITho saMbaMdha rAkhanArA keTalAka vidyArthIo ane sAdhuo mArI rUmamAM koI ne koI bahAne AvavA lAgyA. temAMthI koI sametazikharanI yAtrAnA lAbha batAve to koI gurubhaktinuM mahattva varNave. vidyArthIo to ghaNA ja AvavA taiyAra che paNa mahArAjajI bahu thoDAne ja sAthe levA icche che vagere vagere vAto kare. sAthe javAmAM bhaNataranuM nAvaDuM DUbaze ema lAgatuM. ane na javAmAM mahArAjajInI lAgaNI dubhavyAnuM duHkha hatuM. chevaTe eka sAdhunA atyAgraha mane nAma noMdhAvavA DhIlo karyo. pAThazALAmAM jaladI jANa thaI gaI ke sukhalAla paNa vihAramAM sAthe jAya che. vihAranI taiyArIo josabhera cAlavA lAgI. vIramagAmathI nAnAmaMtrI choTAlAla pArekha AvyA. teo mULa mahArAjajInA bhakta paNa pAThazALAnA taMtra viSe badhuM jANI kAMIka zaMkita thaI gayA. uMmara nAnI ane AvI nAjuka samasyAno ukela kadI karavo paDelo nahi eTale mUMjhAyA paNa kharA. mahArAjajInuM maMDaLa ema dhAratuM ke choTAlAla sanmitranA kahevAmAM AvI gayA che. uddhata vidyArthIo temanuM apamAna karavAnI ane temane mUMjhavavAnI taka zodhatA. koI sAdhAraNa taka AvatAM mArA sivAya badhA vidyArthIoe eka sAthe maLI arajI taiyAra karI jemAM maMtrIne ema kahevAmAM AvyuM hatuM ke jo tame tamArI amuka vAta pAchI nahi kheMco to ame badhA pAThazALA choDI daIzuM. eka moTA ane DAhyA gaNAtA AgevAna vidyArthIe joyuM ke sukhalAlane paNa sAthe levo joIe. tethI teNe AvI mane kahyuM ke choTAlAla pArekhe amuka vidyArthInuM apamAna karyuM che. vidyArthIonuM apamAna e ApaNA badhAnuM apamAna kahevAya. ame badhAe maMtrI mAphI na mAMge to cAlyA javAnuM nakkI karI arajI lakhI che temAM tamArI paNa sahI joIe, Avo anyAya ApaNAthI kema sahevAya ityAdi. AvanAra bhAI harakhacaMda hatA, je atyAre sAdhuavasthAmAM jayaMtavijayajInA nAme jANItA che. emanA madhura ane suzIla svabhAvathI huM kheMcAyo ane arajImAM sahI karI dIdhI. maMtrIe badhA vidyArthIone bolAvI temanI nArAjagInAM kAraNo jANavA mAMgyAM. daramiyAna arajImAM mAruM nAma vAMcI mane paNa bolAvyo. huM jaIne jouM chuM to ghaNA maMtrI sAthe uddhatAIthI vAta karI rahyA hatA. mane choTAbhAIe pUchyuM ke tame kharI bInA jANo cho ? meM sIdhesIdhuM kahyuM ke nA. emaNe pUchyuM tyAre tame arajImAM sahI kevI rIte karI ? meM eka paNa sekenDa thobhyA sivAya duHkha sAthe kahI dIdhuM ke harakhacaMdabhAInA kahevAthI meM sahI karI che, paNa mAruM nAma tame rada karo. eTaluM kahI huM vagara pUchyuM tyAMthI UThI gayo. chevaTe choTAbhAIe tyAMnI paristhitithI mUMjhAI namatuM ApavA mahArAja pAse jaI mAphI mAMgI ane e prakaraNa tyAM ja zamyuM. A ghaTanAthI aNadhArI rIte ja huM choTAbhAInI vadhAre najIka Avyo hoIza ema atyAre lAge che. temanuM dhyAna mArA tarapha gayuM. eka vAra temaNe kahyuM ke, mArI uMmara nAnI che. ahIM huM navo ja chuM. eTale A gUMcavAyelA kokaDAmAM tamArA jevo moTI uMmarano vidyArthI ja mane uttarasAdhaka thaI zake, ItyAdi.

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9. yAtrA ane mUrtipUjA sametazikharanI yAtrA kArtika pUnama AvI ane mahArAjajInA maMDaLe sametazikhara nimitte prasthAna karyuM. pahelo paDAva jainatIrtha siMhapurInA ramyasthaLamAM thayo ke je sAranAtha pAse AveluM che. sAdhuo, nokaro, vidyArthIo ane baLadagADIvALAo vagere pacAseka jaNa haze. huM sAthe Avela eTale mahArAjajI mArA pratye bahu prasanna hatA. mAruM mana adhyayananI daSTie kAzI bhaNI hatuM, jyAre tana vihAramAM sAthe hatuM. mahArAjajI jevA cakora mANasa mAruM mana kaLyA vinA rahI ja kema zake? temaNe mAro utsAha TakAvavA ane mane rAjI rAkhavA hada bahAra kALajI sevelI ema yAda che. mAtA nIkaLI gayA pachI navI Avela cAmaDIvALA atikomaLa paga lAMbuM cAlI zake nahi ane cAlavA jatAM lohI nIkaLe evI jANa thatAM mArA mATe roja navA paDAva sudhI eka ekko bhADe karavAmAM Ave ne roja rUpiyo kharacAya. becAra divasa jatAM ja e khAsa sagavaDa mane khaTakI. meM nakkI karyuM ke kAM to cAlavuM ane jyAre cAlavuM zakya na hoya tyAre baLadagADImAM besavuM. A nizcaye mane dhIredhIre sametazikhara pahoMcyA tyAM sudhImAM bAra mAIla jeTaluM cAlato karyo. joke ghaNuM karI A yAtrAnA Agale varSe huM to na cAlatAM baLadagADImAM ja beThelo. tyArabAda huM haMmezAM ema mAnato Avyo chuM ke cAlavAnI paDelI e Teva paNa te vakhate karela vihAranA aneka lAbho paikI eka lAbha ja hato. e Teve ja jIvana laMbAvavAmAM, Arogya sAcavavAmAM ane keTalAMya bauddhika sUkSma kAma karavAmAM bhAre madada ApI che. adhyayananuM sAtatya tUTI javAthI mana upara viSAdanI je AchI chAyA rahetI te pravAsamAM AvatAM navAM navAM sthaLo temaja navasamAgamothI AnaMda ane prasannatAmAM pheravAI jatI. kamane karelA e pravAsanA lAbhono jyAre jyAre vicAra Avyo che tyAre ema ja lAgyuM che ke teTalo vakhata pustakIya bhaNatara baMdha rahyuM, paNa pravAsanI taka maLI te jiMdagIno suvarNa avasara hato. jo te vakhate huM pravAsamAM sAthe gayo na hota to A jiMdagImAM mane kadI bihAra ane magadhanA sajaLa temaja ramya pradezono paricaya na thAta temaja buddha-mahAvIranA paribhramaNathI pavitra thayela e saraLa-svAbhAvika janapadane jAte

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68 * mAruM jIvanavRtta sparyAno AnaMda ane anubhava paNa na thAta. e ja pravAse AgaLa jatAM buddha-mahAvIranA samayano temaja tyAra bAda temanA saMghono itihAsa samajavAmAM mauryakAlIna ane puSyamitrakAlIna itihAsa samajavAmAM temaja nAlaMdA ane udantapurInAM vidyApIThono ItihAsa samajavAmAM je sahAyatA karI che te paNa bhUlI zakAtI nathI. pagapALA pravAsano AnaMda - candrAvatInA jaina maMdira pAse vahetI gaMgAnA vizALa paTamAM pahelavahelA UtaravA ane taravAno yauvanasulabha AnaMda, gaMgA-gomatInA saMgamathI AhalAdaka banatA sthaLamAM ghAsanI kuTImAM ekAkI rahetA saMnyAsInuM itihAsaprasiddha parivrAjakapaMthanA avazeSasamuM dazya anubhavavAno AnaMda; gAjIpura pAse vahetI gaMgAnA vihArano temaja tyAMnA kalekTara ramAzaMkarane tyAM sumadhura AhAra karyAno AnaMda, bhavya digaMbara maMdirothI suzobhita ArA zaheramAM vidyApriya bAbu devakumArajIno bhAvabhInI mahemAnagati cAkhyAno AnaMda, sohanadanA ati vistRta vAlukApaTamAM khoDAyela taMbumAM ajavALI rAta vitAvyAno AnaMda, mAIlanA mAIla lagI laMbAyela paTaNAnA eka cheDethI bIjA cheDA sudhI page cAlI vicAravAno, temaja sthUlibhadra ane kozA vezyAnA vAsasthAna tarIke jANItA ane tIrtharUpa banelA sthAnane bheTyAno AnaMda, buddha ane mahAvIranI jIvanapravRtti sAthe gUMthAyela rAjagRhI temaja pAvApurInAM prAcIna sthAnomAM javAno, temaja vaibhAragiri pahADa upara page cAlI caDavAno, ane UnA pANInA kuMDomAM manasvIpaNe nahAvAne AnaMda, nAlaMdA ane udantapurInA itihAsaprasiddha bauddha vidyApIThovALI jagyAmAM jUnAM smaraNo sAthe rakhaDavAno AnaMda chevaTe pavitra tIrtha sametazikharamAM vasavATa karyAno ane page cAlI pahADanI upara AvalI pAdukAonI yAtrA karyAno AnaMda. A badhI AnaMdaparaMparA jyAre jyAre yAda Ave che tyAre tyAre kAzImAM bolAvI bhaNavAnI ISTa taka pUrI pADanAra temaja pagapALA pravAsamAM parANe samilita karI eno AnaMda anubhavAvanAra mahArAjajI pratye hArdika kRtajJatAthI mAthuM namI jAya che. vaLI pAchA kAzI pAThazALAmAM poSa mAsanI sakhata ThaMDInA thoDAka divaso pahADanI taLeTImAM vItyA. saue yAtrAnaMda to lUMTyo, paNa have AgaLanA kAryakramanI maMDaLamAM carcA zarU thaI. kalakattA javAnI vicAraNA thaI rahI hatI. teTalAmAM kAzIthI mitra vrajalAlajI AvI caDyA. meM temanI sAthe maMtraNA karI sametazikharathI ja kAzI pAchA javAnuM nakkI karyuM. joke A vAta mahArAjajIe rucatI na hatI, paNa mAruM sakhata valaNa joI temaNe kacavAte mane rajA ApI ane kahyuM ke bhale hamaNAM jAo pachI kalakattA Avajo. tyAM ApaNe uttama paMDita rAkhIzuM. kalakattA jovAze ane bhaNavAnuM paNa cAlaze, ItyAdi. huM to WWW.jainelibrary.org

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yAtrA ane mUrtipUjA * 69 mitra vrajalAlajI sAthe kAzI pAThazALAmAM pAcho pharyo. tyAM ATheka vidyArthIo hatA. sanmitra pAchaLathI sametazikhara tarapha vihAra karI gayelA. ame vadhAre utsAhathI pAchA bhaNavAmAM lAgyA, jethI vacce paDela gAbaDuM purAI jAya. have adhyApaka pAse samaya paNa pUrato maLyo. vrajalAlajI ane mArA vacceno saMbaMdha vadhAre gADha thato cAlyo. thoDA vakhatamAM kAma to ThIka thayuM, paNa dezamAM javAno eka prasaMge upasthita thayo. Avyo tyArathI ghera nahi gayela eTale traNa varSa pachI pahelavahelo ja ghera gayo. 1963nA unALAmAM ekAda mAsa ghera gALI kAzI pAcho pharyo te pahelAM pAlitANA paNa e gALAmAM jaI Avyo. pAlitANA javAno jiMdagImAM A pahelo ja prasaMga hato. zraddhAthI page cAlI pahADa upara caDelo ane yazovijayajIe eka stavanamAM kahyuM che tema aMbaragaMgA samI tyAMnI ujjavala jinagRhamaMDalImAM vividha bhAvo sAthe darzanapUjana paNa karyA. mUrtipUjA mUrti e to mAtra pASaNa che, tenI pUjA e to kevaLa jaDapUjA hoI dharmabAhya che evAM sthAnakavAsI paraMparAgata saMskAra to janmathI ja paDelA ne poSAyelA. mUrti pratye saMpradAyarUDha dveSa na hovA chatAM tenA pratye koI khAsa ruci ke AkarSaNa paNa na hatuM. dekhato tyAre vaDhavANa zaheranA jaina maMdiramAM kautukavaza dUrathI DokiyuM karI Avato ane joto hato ke badhA kevI rIte pUjA kare che, ne kevI rIte caMdana-kesara ghase che ! paraMtu 1959nA comAsAmAM vaDhavANa kempamAM rahyo tyAre ujamazI mAstara sAthe mUrtinI mAnyatA viSe thoDIka carcA karavAno prasaMga paNa Avelo. durAgraha hato nahi ane buddhi kaMIka madade AvI eTale pelo janmagata saMskAra ajJAta rIte moLo paDelo, paNa e saMskAra nirmuLa thaI javAno prasaMga to kAzImAM ja sAMpaDyo. ema to pAThazALAmAM lagabhaga roja sahavAsIonI dekhAdekhIthI maMdira jato ane kAMIka stutipATha karato, paraMtu be varSa bAda tyAM eka ghaTanA evI banI ke mUrtinI mAnyatA viSe sthira mane vicAra karavAnI pharaja paDI. varADamAM kyAMka eka sthAnakavAsI sAdhue mUrtiviruddha khaMDanamaMDana zarU kareluM. tyAMnA sthAnika lokoe ene sAmo javAba ApavA koI suyogya vyaktie mokalavA mahArAjajIne lakhyuM. vrajalAlajI varADanA ja nivAsI ane utsAhI temaja vaktA paNa kharA. mahArAjajIe temane tyAM mokalavA taiyAra karyA tyAre temanI sAthe bIjA koIe javuM ema paNa TharyuM. zarUAtamAM e pasaMdagI mArA upara UtarI. tyAM javuM to zAstrIya prazno viSe ThIka-ThIka taiyArI karIne ja javuM evI dhAraNAthI baMne pakSanI anukULa-pratikULa dalIlo tema ja carcAonAM pustako vAMcavA mAMDyAM. joke, chevaTe vrajalAlajInI sAthe varADamAM to na gayo, paNa te vakhate vAMcavA pAmela sAhityamAMthI eka ja padya rahyAsahya mUrtinI mAnyatA viruddhanA suSupta saMskArone jaDamULathI ukhADI

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70 * mAruM jIvanavRtta pheMkI dIdhA. e padya bIjA koInuM nahi paNa samarthatama tArkika yazovijayajInuM che. temaNe pratimAzataka nAmano mUrtisamarthaka zAstrIya grantha racyo che. tenAM mULa ane TIkAmAM temaNe ugrapaNe sAcI rIte mUrtivirodhano parihAra karI mUrtipUjAnuM Agamika temaja tArkika paddhatie samarthana karyuM che. je paLe mArA upara vIjaLika asara karI temAM mAtra tarkano Azraya levAmAM Avyo che. temaNe ema kahyuM che ke, upAsya ISTadevanuM smaraNa to mUrtivirodhIne paNa mAnya che. have jo nAma tenuM smaraNa karavAmAM sahAyaka thatuM hoya to mUrti paNa tenuM smaraNa karAvavAmAM sahAyaka thAya che ja. vaLI, jene paraMparA pramANe nAma ane mUrti baMne paugalika hoI jaDa ja che. evI sthitimAM smaraNanA sAdhana tarIke ekamAtra nAmane japa khAtara mAnavuM ane bIjA sAdhana-mUrtine na mAnavuM kyAMno nyAya ! jo mAnavuM ja hoya to smaraNamAM upayogI thatAM nAma ane mUrti baMnene samAnabhAve mAnavAM joIe, nahi to baMnene choDavAM joIe. jyAre virodhI pakSa to mAtra nAmane svIkAre che ane mUrtine nahi. A pakSapAta gaNAya. upAdhyAyajInA e tarke mane vicAra karato karI mUkyo. pachIthI enA prakAzamAM zAstrIya pATho vAMcavA lAgyo ane baMne pakSonI dalIlone toLavA lAgyo tyAre bhrama sAva bhAMgyo. saMskAraparivartanano A prasaMga mULe tarkamUlaka hato; paNa bIjo eka prasaMga kAzImAM ja prApta thayo, je Urmi ane bhAvanAmUlaka hato. tyAMnA maMdiramAM eka vAra pUjA bhaNAvAtI. navapada ke paMcajJAna viSenI pUjA hatI te cokkasa yAda nathI. huM paNa pUjA sAMbhaLavA gayelo. mAruM dhyAna DhALonA arthaciMtanamAM eTaluM badhuM nimagna thayeluM ke te vakhate cAlato saMgIta-svarano mane kazo khyAla rahyo nahi. arthaciMtanamAMthI udbhavatI dhyAnanI ekAgratAe hyadayagata bhAvone eTalA badhA ArTa TharyA ke te azupAtanA rUpamAM nirgalita thayA. rasazAstramAM AhalAdamayI brahmAnaMda sahodara cittadhvati viSe raTI gayelo, paNa eno sAkSAtkAra to te vakhate ja thayo. have samajAya che ke, jene bhaktirasa kahevAmAM Ave che te kAMIka AvI ja sthiti haze. tyAMthI UThI rUmamAM jaI te vakhate jAgelA mUrtinA AlaMbana viSenA bhAvo eka sahacArI pAse TUMkamAM lipibaddha karAvyA hatA, paNa e kAgaLiyAMomAMnuM kAMI bhAtra smaraNa sivAya) mArI pAse zeSa nathI. tarka ane bhAva baMnenA yugale mUrtimAnyatA viSenuM saMskAracakra badalI to nAMkhyuM, paNa enA upara opa to caDAvyo AgaLa upara karela zAstranA vizeSa parizIlane, itihAsanA ciMtane ane samAjanA nirIkSaNe. atyAre to mUrti viSenuM mAruM ciMtana mAtra jainaparaMparA pUratuM rahyuM nathI. manuSyasvabhAva mUrtinI upAsanA tarapha kema DhaLe che ane pAcho teno AtyaMtika virodha karavA kema maMDI paDe che enAM aitihAsika kAraNo samajAtAM dIvA jevuM dekhAyuM ke islAmanI peThe sthAnakavAsI paraMparAno AtyaMtika mUrtivirodha e to mUrtimAnyatAnI vikRta atizayatAnI pratikriyA mAtra che. sthAnakavAsI paraMparAe mUrtipUjAmAM dAkhala

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yAtrA ane mUrtipUjA * 71 thayela vikRtio ane atizayatAonA doSane nivAravAno vivekI puruSArtha karavAne badale mUrti, maMdira, ane saMsthAono, tenA ItihAsano ane tene AzrI uddabhavelI kaLAmaya saMskRtino evo cheda uDADyo ke tene lIdhe e paraMparAmAM aneka asvAbhAvikatAo janmI che ane vadhArAmAM hajAro varSa thayAM vikasatA zAstrajJAnanA vArasAno moTo sArabhAga paNa gumAvyo che. e ja ajJAnamUlaka jaDatAnA pariNAme temAMthI terApaMthanA siddhAMto uddabhavyAM che, je mAnavatAmUlaka jaina bhAvanA upara ja prahAra kare che. bIjI bAju zvetAMbara ane digaMbara phirakAoe mUrti - mAnyatAnI aitihAsika paraMparA sAcavI che ane mUrtine lagatI keTalIka saMsthAo UbhI karI udAravRtti tema ja kaLAvRtti poSI che e vAta kharI, paNa temaNe vevalApaNAne lIdhe mUrtine nAme je ahiMsA ane aparigraha jevA jainatvanA mULa siddhAMto upara ja pANI pheravyuM che te paNa saMpUrNapaNe navesara sudhAraNA mAMge che. huM atyAre ema mAnuM chuM ke pataMjali yogasUtramAM sUcave che tema utkrAntikramamAM pratIkane koI ne koI jAtanI mUrtine) mAtra vikalpa sthAna che. arthAt AdhyAtmika vikAsa hoya ke vyAvahArika, temAM adhikArInI yogyatA pramANe amuka bhUmikA sudhI pratIkopAsanA paNa anya sAdhanonI peThe saphaLa nIvaDe che.

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10. kAzI pAThazALAno tyAga kilakattAnA anubhavo vi. saM. 1963 ane 1964 vacce evA banAvo banI rahyA hatA ke, je mane AgaLa jatAM sAva navI ja dizAmAM dhakelavAnA hatA. tethI e banAvonuM varNana Avazyaka bane che. 1963nuM comAsuM mahArAjajIe kalakattAmAM karyuM hatuM. temano uddeza kalakattAmAMthI bane teTalI Arthika madada meLavavAno, tyAM prabhAva jamAvavAno ane chevaTe kAzI pAchA pharavAno hato. teo pAThazALAmAM rahI gayelA vidyArthIomAMthI koInA dvArA gupta rIte tyAM zuM zuM cAlI rahyuM che te badhI bAtamI meLavye jatA hatA. mane ane vrajalAlajIne temaNe kalakattA maLI javA bolAvyA. mAre mATe kalakattA pahelavaheluM ja hatuM. mahArAjajIe bhaNavAnI sagavaDa uparAMta bIjAM paNa Arthika pralobhano ApyAM ne kahyuM ke, kalakattA rahI jAo. ahIM AvuM che ne tevuM che ItyAdi. sAthe sAthe mane ekAMtamAM pUchyuM ke, tame pAlitANA gayA hatA tyAre maMtrI choTAlAla pArekha sAthe zuM vAto karI hatI ? banyuM hatuM ema ke, huM pAlitANA 1963nA unALAmAM gayo tyAre pArekha acAnaka tyAM maLI gayA. pAThazALA vize temaNe pUchyuM tyAre meM pahelethI atyAra lagImAM je kAMI jANyuM hatuM te nikhAlasapaNe kahI dIdhuM. jyAre huM temane vAta karI rahyo hato tyAre mArI sAthe eka jAdavajI nAmano vidyArthI hato, je pAThazALAmAM raheto ane hamaNAM ja potAnA vatana pAlitANAmAM pAcho pharelo. mAre kazuM have chupAvavA jevuM na hatuM eTale meM pArekhane spaSTa kaheluM. huM kAzI pahoMce te pahelAM to jAdavajIe badhuM ja guptacarakRtya vaphAdArIthI sAdhI lIdhuM hatuM. mane bahu navAI lAgI ke mahArAjajI kalakattAmAM beThAM kevI rIte jANI gayA? kAraNa ke jAdavajI viSe mane zaMkA hajI sudhI gaI ja na hatI. mahArAjajInI AMtarika icchA to e hatI ke sukhalAla ane vrajalAla baMnene potAnI pAse game te rIte kheMcavA eTale bIjA pAchaLa rahela vidyArthIo pAThazALAmAMthI ApoApa sarI jaze. ane raheze toye temAM dama jevuM nahi hoya. eTale maMtrIo pAThazALA cAlu rAkhavA mane AmaMtraNa Apaze. AvI IcchA hovAthI temaNe amArA baMneno kalakattAmAM bahu Adara karelo ne amArI pAse upAzrayamAM vyAkhyAno paNa karAvelAM. vyAkhyAnamAM rAyabahAdura badarIdAsajI ne buddhisiMhajI dudheDiyA jevA vRddha

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kAzI pAThazALAno tyAga 0 73 ane samRddha loko temaja vallabhajI hIrajI jevA jJAnazAstranA jJAtA paNa hAjara hatA. mAre mATe jAhera vyAkhyAnano A prathama prasaMga hato, paNa kAMIka aNadhArI saphaLatA maLI. mahArAjajI vinAnuM pAThazALAnuM taMtra mahArAjInI sAma-dAma nItie amArA baMne upara asara na karI. ame amArA saMkalpa pramANe kAzI pAchA pharI adhyayanamAM nimagna thaI gayA. 1963nA ziyALAmAM vihAra karI gayela sanmitra sammetazikharanI yAtrA karI comAsA sudhImAM kAzI pAchA AvI gayA hatA. tethI kalakattAmAM mahArAjajIne zaMkA Ave te svAbhAvika hatuM ke, maMtrIo mArA vinA ja pAThazALA calAvI levA dhAre che ane sanmitrane tyAM rokI levA icche che. sanmitra pAThazALAnA koI vyAvahArika taMtramAM mAthuM mAratA ja nahi eTale maMtrIoe to e taMtra calAvavA eka hAlAra taraphanA mULacaMda nAmanA jainane maeNnejara tarIke mokalela hatA. mULacaMdabhAI mULI jevA dezI rAjyamAM revanyU khAtAmAM nokarI karI cUkelA. emane keLavaNI ane khAsa karIne prAcya vidyAo sAthe kazo ja saMbaMdha na hato. pAThazALAmAM vilakSaNa sthiti pravartavA lAgI. maeNnejara ke temanA putra pAThazALAnI keTalIka vastuo ghe2 khaseDavA lAgyA. pustakAlayamAMthI keTalAMka kImatI aMgrejI pustako paNa javA lAgyAM. huM ane vrajalAlajI be ja vidyArthIomAM kAMIka moTA ane AgaLa paDatA. sanmitra kazAmAM paDatA nahi. pAThazALAnI vastu ucApata thAya te amArAthI na sahAyuM eTale ame vidyArthIonI eka mITiMga karI. temAM maeNnejarane pramukha banAvyA. ane temanA upara sIdhesIdhA Aropo mUkI temanI pAsethI khulAso mAMgyo. maeNnejare joyuM ke mAmalo vIpharyo che tyAre amane zAnta rahevA bahu namratAthI samajAvyA ane kahyuM ke e cIjo to mAtra vA52vA lIdhI che. mATe pAchI ApavAnI ja che. chevaTe mULacaMdabhAI to emanA cha mAsanA rUpiyA ne pAThazALAnI keTalIka vastuo taphaDaMcI karI dezamAM sidhAvyA. kalakattAmAM beThA mahArAjajIne bahAnuM maLI gayuM ke pAThazALAne koI saMbhALI zakatuM nathI ane badhuM vaNase che, maMtrIo vIramagAma jeTale dUra beThA che, ityAdi. paNa hajI pAThazALAmAM sanmitranA astitvano kAMTo hato tenuM zuM? mahArAjInI evI icchA ane ceSTA kharI ke sanmitra svayameva kAzIthI vihAra karI jAya. sanmitra alipta hatA ane icchatA ke koI paNa rIte pAThazALA sArI rIte cAle, paNa emanI taMtra calAvavA jeTalI kuzaLatA ke bAhozI nahi. pAThazALAnuM nAvaDuM madhadariye hatuM. maMtrIo mahArAjjIne have sarvasattAdhIza banAvavA icchatA nahi ane tevo koI maLe to mahArAjajI tene calAvI le tevA paNa nahi. eTale kokaDuM vadhAre gUMcavAI jatuM hatuM. comAsuM pUruM thayA bAda sanmitre kAzIthI AgrA tarapha prasthAna karyuM vIramagAmathI maMtrIe AvI pAThazALAmAM eka kAmacalAu maeNnejara rokyo. DagamagatA e nAvaDAmAM

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ja * mAruM jIvanavRtta paNa mAruM ane vrajalAlajInuM adhyayana DagyuM na hatuM. tethI maMtrI choTAlAle amane baMnene kahyuM ke, tame Iccho tevA paMDita pAse bhaNo. pAThazALA pUrNa kharca karaze. amArA baMneno utsAha khUba vadhyo. kAzImAM ane bahAra evA koI sArA paMDitanI ame tajavIja zarU karI ke je amane badhAM ja prAcIna vaidika darzano samartha rIte ane khullA dilathI bhaNAve kemake prathamanA aMbAdatta zAstrIjInI dilacorI joI temane pAThazALAthI chUTA karyA hatA. A samaya daramiyAna ame baMnee kAzInA sarvottama gaNAtA paMDitomAMthI koIne manamAnyA paisA ApI pAThazALAmAM lAvavAno yatna karyo, paNa saphaLa thayo nahi. bahu moTA ane asAdhAraNa paMDita hoya te jaina pAThazALAmAM AvavuM pasaMda kare nahi ane je AvavA taiyAra hoya te dArzanika viSayomAM amArI 'kasoTIe pAra na Utare. chatAM amArA baMnenuM adhyayana to asmalita cAlu ja hatuM. ame baMne koI paMDitane tyAM jaI bhaNI AvatA. ne pAThazALAnA bIjA vidyArthIone ame bhaNAvI detA. vidyArthIone dIkSA thoDI paNa vidyArthIo dvArA pAThazALA cAle che ne maMtrIo to AmaMtraNa ApatA ja nathI e sthiti kalakattAmAM mahArAjajInA maMDaLane sAlatI. 1963nuM comAsuM pUruM thatAM ja mahArAjajIe kalakattAmAM potAnI sAthe rahelA vidyArthIomAMthI pAMca jaNane dIkSA ApI dIdhI. A ghaTanAthI jaina samAjamAM bhAre UhApoha jAgyo. loko kahevA lAgyA ke mahArAjajIe pratijJAbhaMga karyo. jyAre teo kAzIe gayA tyAre potAnAM bALakone mAtA-pitA vizvAsathI bhaNavA mokale e hetuthI temaNe jAhera kareluM ke teo vidyArthIomAMthI koIne dIkSA Apaze nahi. kalakattAnI A dIkSAthI temanI pratijJAno bhaMga thato hato. have kayo mANasa sAdhu upara vizvAsa mUkI potAnA bALakane bhaNavA mokalaze e prazna carcAvA lAgyo. mahArAjajI buddhizALI varganuM samAdhAna karI zakyA nahi, paNa haMmezAM banatuM AvyuM che tema temane dIkSAghelo nAnakaDo paNa varga maLI Avyo. zeTha vIracaMda dIpacaMda jevAe paNa mana manAvI lIdhuM ke bhale dIkSA ApI. dIkSitamAMthI koI hemacaMdra pAkaze. mahArAjano utsAha vadhyo ne evI dalIla paNa vahetI mUkI ke mArI pratijJA to mAtra kAzI ane pAThazALA pUratI hatI. AkhI jiMdagI ane kAzIthI bahAra paNa dIkSA na ApavA huM baMdhAyo na hato. chevaTe vIracaMda dIpacaMda mahArAjajIne lakhyuM ke tame kAzI pAchA jAo ane pAThazALA saMbhALo. kharcanI ciMtA na karo. maMtrIonA virodhanI paravA karyA vinA zeThe temanuM rAjInAmuM svIkArI lIdhuM. have vIracaMda dipacaMda ja mukhya rahyA. mahArAjajI sarva sAthe kAzI pAchA pharyA ne mArA jIvananuM navuM prakaraNa zarU thayuM.

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kAzI pAThazALAno tyAga 0 75 pAThazALAno tyAga mahArAjajInI icchAne mAna ApI huM kalakattAmAM temanI sAthe rahelo nahi ne pAlitANAmAM maMtrI samakSa pAThazALAnI khaTapaTa viSe jANato hato te kaheluM eTale mahArAjajIne huM svArthI ke gurudrohI lAguM te svAbhAvika hatuM, paNa mahArAjajI gaMbhIratA sAcavI manogata kAMI mane jaNAvavA detA nahi, paraMtu emanA paTTadhara ziSTa indravijayajI potAnI paMjAbI zIkha prakRti pramANe utAvaLiyA ane tuMDamijAjI. temane mArA upara hato teTalo roSa vrajalAlajI u52 na hovAnuM eka kAraNa e paNa hatuM ke vrajalAlajI kyAreka dIkSA leze evI teo AzA sevatA. vrajalAle lagna na karavAno niyama to pahelAM ja lIdho hato. have mahArAjajInI bhedanIti zarU thaI. temaNe ichyuM ke sukhalAla ane vrajalAla baMne koI rIte chUTA paDe to ja ApaNo dora nabhaze kemake temane Dara hato ke A baMne pAchaLathI pAThazALAmAM sAthe rahyA che, ekarasa thayA che ane maMtrIo temaja bIjA saddagRhastho temane mAne che. mane te vakhate sakhata tAva Avato. vrajalAlajI mArI pAse bese ne upacAra kare e paNa indravijayajIne game nahi. ghaNI vAra te vrajalAlajIne mArI viruddha bhaDakAve, paNa vrajalAlajI saraLa bhAvathI kahI de ke mahArAjajI, tame je kaho cho te to sAcuM nathI, ityAdi. vrajalAlajIne mArI viruddha karavAnA prayatnamAM na phAvyA eTale teo mArI ta2pha vaLyA. mane sUcavavA lAgyA ke vrajalAlajI to brAhmaNa che ane brAhmaNa jainadveSI hoya che, ityAdi. mAruM paNa rUMvADuM ethI na pharakavuM. ame to UlaTA ekabIjAnI vadhAre najIka AvyA. keTalAka sAdhuo ane vidyArthIo paNa amArA baMne sAthe sAro vartAva rAkhatA nahi. tethI ame baMnee khAnagImAM maLI maMtraNAo calAvI ke have pAThazALAmAM rahevuM ke ene choDI devI ? vicA2nI eka bAju na choDavAnI hatI. e bAjune sparzatI dalIlo TUMkamAM A hatI : 1. jeNe bhaNavAmAM badhI jAtanI madada karI ne jene eka vAra guru kahyA tene choDI devA e to gurudroha ne kRtaghnatA kahevAya. 2. gurubhakti viSenAM Aja sudhI sAMbhaLelAM pravacanonA saMskAre ema paNa lAgyuM ke ApaNe judA paDIe to pAThazALA upara ane mahA2AjI upara vizeSa Aphata Utaraze. traNa sAdhuo prathama relavethI cAlyA gayA, gurubhAI sanmitre paNa cAlyA gayA ane A moTI uMmaranA vidyArthIo paNa nIkaLI gayA to enI pAchaLa zuM rahasya che ? evo UhApoha jarU2 jAgaze. ne tethI mahA2AjIne AghAta pahoMcaze ane pAThazALAne paNa dhakko lAgaze. Ama baMne e zuM gurubhaktine anukULa che ? 3. rahevAthI mAMDI bhaNavA sudhInI samagra sagavaDa anAyAse maLe che e tajI agavaDamAM mukAvuM ane moTA puruSano khopha vahoravo emAM zuM vyavahAruM DahApaNa gaNAya kharuM ?

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76 - mAruM jIvanavRtta vicAranI bIjI bAju pAThazALA choDavAnI hatI. tene lagatI dalIlo nIce pramANe hatI: - 1. taMtra saDeluM hoya ane tenA chAMTAthI alipta rahevuM muzkela hoya tyAre gurubhakti nAmanA mohaka maMtrathI aMjAI javuM ke kRtaLatAnA kalpita AropathI DaravuM e yogya nathI. 2. dharmazAstra to prasaMga Ave tevA vALA roja ema kahI jene vaDIla mAnyA hoya temanI sAme thavAnuM paNa sUcave che. 3. mahArAjajI pAse rahI temane sAtha ApIe to maMtrIo ane bIjA saddagRhastho ApaNane AgevAna vidyArthIo mAnI ApaNA pAsethI je naitika AzA rAkhe che tenuM zuM ? 4. pAThazALAmAM rahIe to chellA doDha varSamAM je vizALa daSTie adhyayana karavAnI taka maLI che te pAchI mahArAjajInA sAMpradAyika taMtramAM kema sacavAze? 5. sagavaDathI lalacAI vAjabI pagaluM bharatAM aTakIe to buddhipUrvaka jokhama kheDyAno avasara kayAre Ave ? maMtraNAne aMte bIjI bAjunI dalIlo phevI ane TharyuM ke pAThazALA to choDAvI ja. vrajalAlajIe mane kahyuM ke tame dekhatA nathI, pAThazALAmAM rahI jAo. pAThazALA choDavAthI ghaNuM sahavuM paDaze. huM to brAhmaNa chuM. pahelethI ja kAzImAM raheto Avyo chuM ne mAre mATe to ghaNAM bIjAM annasatro temaja pAThazALAo che, paNa jyAre emaNe mAro nizcaya joyo tyAre sAthe ja pAThazALA choDI devA aMtima nirNaya karyo. mArI pAse mAro vidyArthI ane mitra pUnamacaMda hato. vrajalAlajI sAthe temanA nAnA bhAI ne temanI mAtA hatAM. ame pAMca jaNa thayAM. pAThazALA choDavAnuM to nakkI karyuM, paNa te vakhate amArI pAse ekAda rUpiyAthI vadhAre kAMI na hatuM. ame nIkaLavAnI tArIkha, nIkaLatI vakhatanI nItirIti, e badhuM vicArI lIdhuM. vaizAkha zukla trayodazInI sAMja hatI. AgalA divase caturdazInuM vrata AvatuM hovAthI zIkhaMDa banelo hato. mahArAjajI AhAra karIne bahAra oTalA upara beThA hatA. ame jamI lIdhuM hatuM. acAnaka mahArAjajI pAse pahoMcyA. pagamAM paDyA. ne "ame jaIe chIe, Apa rajA Apo' ema kahyuM A badhuM akalpita joI mahArAjajI vicAramAM paDI gayA. svabhAve kAMIka bhIru eTale temane ema thayuM hovuM joIe ke A be AgaLa paDatA vidyArthIonA cAlyA javAthI to samAjamAM navo UhApoha zarU thaze. temaNe mAro hAtha pakaDI kahyuM ke, sukhalAla ! juo ! mAruM zarIra keTaluM garama che. khare ja te vakhate temanuM zarIra tAva Avyo hoya tevuM uSNa hatuM, paNa ame to tarata ja tyAMthI nIkaLI gayA. pAsenA judA makAnamAM vrajalAlajInI mAtA - jene ame sau mAjI kahetA - te rahetAM, tyAM gayA. ame cAreya

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kAzI pAThazALAno tyAga 0 77 jaNAe mAjIne kahyuM ke pAThazALA to choDI che, have AgaLa zuM karavuM e ja vicAravuM che. bhaNavuM che e nizvaya dhruva jevo acaLa che. ane kAzImAM ja bhaNavuM e paNa nirdhAra che, paraMtu prazna Arthika che. e vIrAMganAe kahyuM, ke tame utsAhI cho to rasto nIkaLI ja jaze. bIjA divase vIramagAma maMtrIone cAra AnA kharce tArathI sUcavI dIdhuM ke ame pAThazALA choDI che, bAkInA bAra AnA laI rAtanA sumadhura uvela prakAzamAM page cAlatA ane utsAhathI malakAtA ame cAreya jaNa cAreka mAIla dUra Avela siMhapurInA suMdara tIrthamAM pahoMcyA. vaizAkha pUrNimAnA maMgaLa prabhAte maMdiramAM darzanapUjana karI vicAravA beThA ke have AgaLa zuM karavuM? meM ane vrajalAlajIe nakkI karyuM ke ApaNe baMnee to eka vAra maMtrIone maLavuM. teo ApaNe mATe zuM kare che e jovuM. e ja rIte jaina samAjanA koI mobhAdAra zrImaMtane paNa maLavuM ne jovuM ke te ApaNA uddezane samajI ApaNA mATe kAMI kare che ke nahi? amArA AvA vicAra pAchaLa dRSTi e hatI ke ApaNane jANanAra koI samajadAra pAchaLathI ema na kahe ke tame amane kema na pUchayuM? ane e paNa daSTi hatI ke koIne pAchaLathI evo AkSepa karavAno prasaMga na Ave ke A vidyArthIoe matalaba hato tyAM lagI to jaina saMsthAmAM rahI jaina samAjanI madada lIdhI ne have kAMIka zakti AvatAM teo sAmAjika hita karavAnI jUnI vAto choDI potAne raste paDI gayA.

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11. pAThazALA tyAga pachInI yAtrA amerikA javAno manasUbo thoDA paisA udhAra laI ame nIkaLyA. taratamAM ja jona rokaphelaranuM jIvanavRtta vAMceluM. tenI kubera jevI saMpatti ne karNa jevI dAnazIlatA temAM vAMcelI. TrenamAM amArA baMneno e ja vArtAviSaya banI rahyo ane svapno sevavA lAgyA ke jo javAbadAra jaino ApaNane barAbara samajI AgaLa bhaNavAmAM madada kare to sAruM che. ane koI evo samajadAra na maLyo to ApaNe baMnee amerikA javuM. ApaNI AkAMkSA, zakti ane sAhasa joI rokaphelara kadI ja madada ApyA sivAya rahe nahi. amerikA javAnA manorathano pAro vacce vacce eTale sudhI caDI jato ke, - jaina gRhastha madada karanAra na maLI Ave to UlaTuM sAruM che. bhAvatuM thaze. jyAM svAmI vivekAnaMda ane vIracaMda rAghavajI jevAe jaI bhAratanuM mastaka UMcu karyuM che, tyAM jaIzuM tyAre ja loko ApaNane oLakhaze. pahelAM to ahIM koIe svAmI vivekAnaMdane paNa oLakhyA na hatA. aMgrejImAM zuM? kAmacalAu to cAra mahinAmAM taiyAra karI laIzuM. ne game tyAMthI javAno kharca meLavI laIzuM - AvA vicAro AvatA. have vicAruM chuM tyAre lAge che ke amArAM e juvAnInAM svapno pAchaLa te vakhatanI dRSTie khAsa gAMDapaNa na hatuM. kadAca ajJAna haze. sanmitra hovAthI vacce AgrA UtaryA. sanmitra amArA sAhasathI prasanna to thayA, paNa ame icchIe teTalI tvarAthI ane teTalA pramANamAM kAMI karavA samartha hoya ema amane na lAgyuM, paraMtu tyAM eka navo paricaya thayo ne te AgaLa jatAM kAryasAdhaka paNa nIvaDyo. bAbu DAlacaMdajI ane hIrAcaMda kakalano paricaya: ame baMne mitro pahelAM vIramagAma javuM ke amadAvAda ane te kaI TrenamAM e vicAra karatA hatA tyAM acAnaka eka gRhastha AvyA ne pUchyuM ke, "vA sovata ro?' amAro javAba ane javAno udeza sAMbhaLI temaNe tarata ja kahyuM ke rUpara sApa ttipAchA pravaMgha ro nAtha to sA ? ame kahyuM ke eka vAra to javuM ja che. maMtrIo vagere zuM kahe che e na jANIe to kyAreka teo kahI zake ke amane kema na pUchyuM? e gRhastha hatA bAbu DAlacaMdajI. teo umare to mArA jevaDA ja, paNa vyApAra ane

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pAThazALA tyAga pachInI yAtrA - 79 vyavahAramAM kuzaLa. vyApArane kAraNe kAzI Ave tyAre pAThazALAmAM paNa AvatA. ame temane na jANIe, paNa teo amane baMne mitrone sAthe bhaNatA jue eTale temanuM dhyAna amArA tarapha saheje gayuM hatuM. vaLatAM AgrA UtaravAnuM kahI temanI pAsethI rajA lIdhI. gADImAM be ja kAma. sArAsArA sTezane navInavI mIThAIo laI khAvI ne svapnasRSTimAM vicaravuM. amadAvAda hIrAcaMda kakalane tyAM UtaryA. mAre mATe to amadAvAda Agamana pahelavaheluM ja hatuM. hIrAcaMda ane temanA laghubaMdhu bAlAbhAI kAzImAM maLelA. meM mArA jIvanamAM rAmalakSmaNanA bhrAtRpremano jevo sAkSAtkAra A be bhAIomAM karyo che teo anyatra nathI karyo. baMne jAtamahenatI, vidyArasika ane dharmaniSTha. amadAvAdanA jaina samAjamAM kanyAkeLavaNIne gati ApanAra temaja dhArmika zikSaNano pracAra karanAra hIrAcaMdabhAI hatA. teo anekavidha tapazcaryA ane kriyAkAMDa AcaratA, paNa anya tapasvI ane kriyAkAMDInI peThe vidyAvimukha na rahetA. baMne bhAI zikSaNa ApavAnuM ja kAma karatA tethI sthiti paNa sAdhAraNa chatAM emano atithiprema eTalo sAro ke AtithyanI bAbatamAM teo amadAvAdI che ema bhAgye ja koI kahe. hIrAcaMdabhAI amane joI rAjIrAjI thaI gayA ne utsAhamAM AvI kahyuM ke emAM te zuM? ahIM to manasukhabhAI bhagubhAI jevA zeTha paDyA che. tamArI abhyAsanI vAta sAMbhaLI teo jarUra rAjI thaze ane madada paNa karaze. zrI nemavijayajIno meLApa ame traNeya zeTha manasukhabhAIne maLyA. amAro paricaya meLavI baMgale ja rahevA ane jamavAnuM kahyuM ne umeryuM ke tame baMne bhAvanagara mArI sAthe Avazo ? tyAM nemavijayajI mahArAjane AcAryapadavI ApavAnI che. huM tyAM javAno chuM. tamane baMnene mahArAjajI sAthe meLavIza ne pachI tamArA viSe badhuM thaI raheze. zeTha manasukhabhAI nemavijayajI mahArAjane bhagavAna jevA devatA lekhatA ne temano paDyo bola jhIlatA. sAdhu pAse khAsa karI nemavijayajI mahArAja pAse javAno amArA baMnenA manamAM vizeSa utsAhana hato. ame emanI manasvI prakRti viSe thoDuMka sAMbhaLeluM chatAM zeThanA anurodha khAtara bhAvanagara javA hA pADI ne UpaDI gayA. vidyApriya zrIyuta kuMvarajI ANaMdajIne tyAM UtaryA. kuMvarajIbhAI amane baMnene nemavijayajI mahArAja pAse laI gayA. ne paricaya Apyo. zuM zuM bhaNyA cho ? evA emanA ruAbI praznanA uttaramAM ame ghaTato namra javAba vALyo. zazIbAbu ! ema kahI temaNe potAnI pAse rahetA naiyAyika maithila paMDitane bolAvI kahyuM ke Ane nyAya viSe kAMIka pUcho. zazIbAbunA praznono meM uttara paNa Apyo. te vakhate pAse darzanavijayajI nAmanA sAdhu beThA hatA. teo mane bAjunA rUmamAM laI jaI kahevA lAgyA ke tame ahIM na raho ? raho to huM bhaNAvIza ItyAdi.

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80 * mAruM jIvanavRtta meM kahyuM ke ame to kAzI ja bhaNavAnA chIe. nemavijayajI mahArAje potAnI Teva pramANe bIjA eka ziSya jazavijayajIne bolAvI kahyuM ke sukhalAla siddhahaima bhaNela che to kAMIka pUcha. jazavijayajI ane mArA vacce saMskRtamAM ja carcA cAlI. pAse beThelA zrAvakone navAI lAgatI. nemavijayajI mahArAjane bolAvI kahyuM ke A prAkRta bhaNelA che. pUcho to kharA ? maNivijayajIe bahu namra vyavahArathI thoDuMka pUchyuM ne khuzI pragaTa karI. A vakhate tyAM paMnyAsa gaMbhIravijayajI mahArAjane AcArya padavI ApavAnI hatI. amArI baMnenI hAjarIe sAdhusamudAyamAM eka addabhuta kutUhala ne lAlacanuM vAtAvaraNa UbhuM karyuM hoya tevo amane bhAsa thayo. prathama mulAkAte ja parIkSA levAnI mahArAjajInI zekhIe amAro temanA pratyeno Adara ocho karyo. amane thayuM ke A mANasa ApaNA upara potAnA ziSyonuM ane potAnuM varcasa sthApavA mAMge che? nemavijaya mahArAjane kyAM khabara hatI ke A baMne sAva beparavA che ? kuMvarajIbhAIne tyAM zeTha manasukhabhAI jamIne beThA hatA. aneka sagRhastho temanI AsapAsa vIMTaLAyelA. saMpattie manasukhabhAI ne tyAM deva banAvI dIdhA hatA. kuMvarajIbhAIe zeThane amArA viSe chello javAba ApavA kahyuM to zeThe kahyuM ke tame baMne nemavijayajI mahArAja pAse raho to huM badho prabaMdha karIza, mahArAjajI pAse paMDita to che ja ane te kAzInA paMDita karatAM kyAM Utarato che! ItyAdi. ame eka paNa kSaNa thobhyA sivAya javAba Apyo ke koI sAdhu pAse rahevuM nathI. zeThe kahyuM ke to pachI tame amadAvAda mAre baMgale raho ne huM tyAM badho prabaMdha karIza. eno paNa uttara eTalI ja tvarAthI ame ApI dIdho ke kAzI bahAra rahI bhaNavAnI amArI vRtti nathI. basa badhuM patyuM. sau saune raste paDyA. have mAtra maMtrIone maLavAnuM amAre mATe bAkI hatuM, paNa amane mAluma paDI gayuM ke maMtrIo ApaNe vAte sahAnubhUti uparAMta kAMI vadhAre karI zake tema nathI. gujarAta choDavAno vicAra karIe ja chIe tyAM acAnaka eka rajisTarI patra maLyo. e patra rakhaDatAM rakhaDatAM bhAvanagara Avelo. vrajalAlajI gujarAnavAlAmAM A patra paMjAba gujarAnavAlAnA saMghe upAdhyAya vIravijayajInA kahevAthI lakhelo. emAM vrajalAlajIne patra maLatAMveMta gujarAnavAlA AvavA lakheluM. bahu jarUrI kAma che, eka paNa kSaNa na thobho, upAdhyAyajI lakhAve che ItyAdi matalabanuM lakhANa hatuM. ame sAzvarya vicAramAM paDyA. chevaTe huM ghera rahI gayo ane vrajalAlajI paMjAba mATe mArAthI chUTA paDyA. saMketa evo karyo ke jyAre vrajalAlajI sUcave tyAre mAre AgrA pahoMcavuM. ame dhAratA ke ApaNuM cakra ApaNe ja pheravIe chIe, paNa have kAMIka evuM lAgyuM ke ApaNuM cakra to koI ajJAta daiva ja pheravI rahyuM che.

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pAThazALA tyAga pachInI yAtrA - 81 gujarAnavAlAmAM zrImat AtmArAmajI mahArAjanAM lakhANo viruddha avAja UThelo. sanAtana dharmanA bhAratavikhyAta paMDito tyAM AvelA ne temaNe jainone celenja ApelI ke AtmArAmajInAM vaidika mAnyatA viruddhanAM lakhANonI yathArthatA tame sAbita karo. gujarAnavAlAmAM vijayakamalasUri ane vIravijayajI upAdhyAya baMne hatA. teo A bAbatamAM kazuM karI zake tema na hovAthI koI jaina paMDitane bahArathI bolAvavA kRtanizcaya thayelA. chevaTe upAdhyAyajIne eka vAra pahelAM paricayamAM AvelA vrajalAlajInuM smaraNa thayuM ne temaNe temane bolAvavA patra lakhAvelo. vrajalAlajI gujarAnavAlA gayA. bhAre rasAkasI jAmI. chevaTe kalekTarane mejisTreTanI daramiyAnagIrIthI vivAdano aMta Avyo. jainonI ijjata sacavAI. vrajalAlajInuM gaurava vadhyuM. teo tyAMthI vidAya thaI pAchA pharyA to lAhoramAM vallabhavijaya mahArAja maLyA. teo atizaya sakhata garamImAM dilhIthI lAMbo lAMbo vihAra karI gujarAnavAlA ukta vivAdamAM bhAga levA ja jaI rahyA hatA. teo paNa vivAdano aMta potAnA lAbhamAM Avelo jANI vrajalAlajI tarapha bahu AkarSAyA ane kahyuM ke khuzIthI tame kAzImAM vadhAre bhaNo, joIto prabaMdha thaI jaze. vrajalAlajIno tAra maLavAthI huM AgrA pahoMcI gayo ane badhI hakIkata jANI lIdhI. amAre kAzI rahI bhaNavuM ane Arthika javAbadArI bAbu DAlacaMdajIe mAthe levI ema TharyuM.

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12. punaH kAzImAM abhyAsa ane dRSTilAbha sanAtanI brAhmaNa paMDito ame baMne kAzI to pahoMcyA, paNa have kyAM rahevuM, konI pAse bhaNavuM, ane zuM zuM bhaNavuM? e prazna amArI pAse Avyo. makAnanI mUMjhavaNa to chevaTe bhadainI jaina ghATa uparanI dharmazALA maLavAthI kAMIka dUra thaI paNa ISTa paMDitano ja prazna mukhya hato. sanAtanI brAhmaNa paMDitonI, khAsa karI kAzInA paMDitonI sthiti te kALe Aja karatAM bahu judI hatI. bahu moTA ane pratiSThita gaNAtA paMDito mane jaina samajI bhaNAvavAmAM AnAkAnI karatA. huM vaidika grantho bhaNavAnuM kahuM to emane ema lAgatuM ke A jaina chatAM vaidika darzano bhaNavA mAMge che to teno hetu vaidika darzananA khaMDanano hovo joIe. tethI ene kema bhaNAvAya ? koI jaina grantha bhaNavA viSe vAta nIkaLe to teo te viSe potAno sAva anAdara vyakta kare. paisA kharacavAthI AjanI peThe te kALe paNa bhaNAvanAra paMDito maLI AvatA, paraMtu evA paMDitothI amane baMnene khAsa saMtoSa na thato. vrajalAlajI che to brAhmaNa ane kuLadharma sanAtanI to pachI e sukhalAla jevA jena sAthe kevI rIte rahI zakatA haze? e prazna paNa ghaNA paMDitone mUMjhavato. ame sAthe rahIe chIe e vastu chupAvavAnA amArA badhA cANakya-prayatno niSphaLa ja gayA hatA. tethI ekalA vrajalAlajI brAhmaNa tarIke koI viziSTa paMDitane tyAM bhaNavA jAya toya temanI viruddha vAtAvaraNa jAmatuM. ame bahu muMjhAyA. kAzI pAchA pharyA pahelAM AgrAthI gvAliyara-lazkara ane vRMdAvana ema be sthaLe ame jaI AvelA. AgrAmAM sAMbhaLeluM ke gvAliyaramAM amuka viziSTa paMDita che ne vRMdAvanamAM sudarzanAcArya nAmanA rAmAnujI vidvAna AcArya che. gvAliyaranA paMDita amArA mATe kAryasAdhaka na hatA. vRMdAvanavALA bahu sajjana ane vidvAna paNa lAgyA, paraMtu ati vRddha hoI temaNe bhaNAvavAnuM baMdha kareluM. A kAraNe amAruM baMnenuM mana have mAtra kAzImAM sthira thayuM. adhyayananI anerI yojanA mithilAvALA cuMbe jhA ane paTaNAvALA harihara kRpALu bemAMthI ekeyane kAzI lAvavAmAM saphaLa na thayA eTale tatkALa pUratI adhyayananI eka yojanA ame vicArI

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punaH kAzImAM abhyAsa ane dRSTilAbha * 83 kADhI. te pramANe vrajalAlajI vedAnta darzana taiyAra kare ane mAre nyAyadarzana taiyAra karavuM ema TharyuM. vrajalAlajI roja cAreka mAIla dUra suprasiddha vedAntI lakSmaNazAstrI drAviDane tyAM jaIne vedAnta zIkhI Ave. huM ghera rahI nyAyanI saMbhavita taiyArI karuM ne pachI baMne paraspara Apale karIe jethI bevaDuM kAma thAya. A krama amuka vakhata cAlyo. daramiyAna eka suyogya yuvaka paMDita maLI gayA. e bhaNIne navA ja taiyAra thayelA eTale kAma zodhatA. amane joItuM maLI gayuM. e paMDita Aje banArasa kvInsa kaoNlejanA mukhya paMDita che. temanuM nAma bAlabodha mizra. teo vyAkaraNa, nyAya, sAMkhyayoga ane vedAnta Adi aneka viSayonI parIkSA ApI uttIrNa thayelA. amane roja amArA sthAne bhaNAvavA Ave. emanI pAse ame prAcIna nyAya tathA sAMkhyayoganAM bhASyo bhaNyAM, huM ekalo temanI pAse navIna nyAya paNa zIkhato. amArI dRSTi badhAM ja bhAratIya darzanonA prAcIna bhASyo zIkhavAnI ane svataMtrapaNe te upara vicAra karavAnI hatI. amane emAM rasa paNa paDato gayo ane saMpradAya bahAra vizALa daSTie jovAnI taka paNa maLI. A rIte dArzanika adhyayana cAlatuM hatuM tyAre mArI dRSTimAM eka bIjo pheraphAra paNa thaI rahyo hato. chApAMoe rASTriya dRSTi ghaDI vrajalAlajI pahelethI ja khUba chApAMo vAMce, ane aneka sabhAomAM jAya eTale temanI rASTriya dRSTi ghaDAI gaI hatI. teo tilakanA ananya bhakta. A samaya daramiyAna muMbaI hAIkorTamAM tilakane lAMbI sajA thayelI. hindI-marAThI chApAMo khUba garamAgarama carcA karatA. huM chApAMnA yugathI bilakula dUra hato, paNa vrajalAlajInI sobata e cepa mane paNa lagADyo. chApAMnA cepe zAstra bahAranA aneka viSayo viSe vicAra karato karyo. roja chApAMo Dhagalo ame baMne mitro vAMcIe. have mAruM mana koMgresa tarapha tema ja dezanA prazno tarapha paNa vaLyuM. ene lIdhe zAstrIya vAcanamAM eka navI dRSTi umerAI. badhA viSayono itihAsa hoya ja che ane te jANyA vinA te te viSayanuM jJAna adhUruM rahI jAya che ane vikRta paNa bane che ema spaSTa lAgyuM. tethI itihAsa tarapha paNa jhUkyo. Ama vi. saM. 1965no unALo vItavA Avyo tyAM vaLI ghaTanAcakre palaTo khAdho. kriyAkAMDa pratyenuM valaNa vijayavallabhasUri paMjAbathI gujarAta jatAM pAlanapuramAM rokAI gayA. temanI icchA evI ke ame pAlanapura comAsAmAM jaIe. amAruM adhyayana baMdha na paDe te hetuthI temaNe amane amArA paMDitane sAthe laI AvavA lakhyuM. ame badhA paMDita sAthe pAlanapura comAsuM gALavA gayA. ame tyAM kAvya-prakAza Adi keTalAka agatyanA granthono abhyAsa karyo. huM lalitavijayajI jevA ekAda-be sAdhune thoDuM thoDuM bhaNAvato

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84 mAruM jIvanavRtta paNa. vallabhavijayajI mahArAje tathA pAlanapuranA saMghe amArI sagavaDa karavAnI pUrI kALajI rAkhI hatI. ame kayAreka tithi-pUrve kriyAkAMDamAM bhAga laIe to mahArAjajI ane zrAvakone ema lAgatuM ke vidvAno to AvA ja pAkavA joIe. te vakhate mArA saMskAromAM dharamULathI phera nahi paDelo eTale zaramabharamathI ke rucithI kyAreka kyAreka kriyAkAMDamAM bhaLI jato, paraMtu mana jhapATAbhera bIjI dizAmAM ja kUca karI rahyuM hatuM ne samajAtuM jatuM hatuM ke, A kriyAkAMDo dharmanAM mAtra nirjIva khokhAM che. zrAvako ane sAdhuonAM dekhAvaDI vyavahArathI amArI zraddhAnAM stara badalAye jatAM hatAM; paNa ame e bAbatanI kazI carcAmAM UtaryA sivAya adhyayananuM gADuM calAvye rAkhatA. eka divasa athaDAmaNIno sAmAnya prasaMga Avyo. upAzrayamAM amuka viSaya upara bhASaNa karavuM evI mahArAjajIe sUcanA karelI. vrajalAlajIe bhASaNa daramiyAna tilakano ullekha karyo. tyAM to gharaDAbuThThA amaladAra zrAvako gabharAyA ne eka zrAvake te viSe kazuM na bolavA izAro paNa karyo. kAMIka cakamaka jharI ne badhuM zAnta thayuM, paNa have mane samajAyuM ke vyApArI ane amaladArI mAnasa kevuM bIkaNa hoya che? Abuno pravAsa divALI najIka AvI. ne thayuM ke pAse Avela AbunA vikhyAta maMdiro joI levAM joIe. ame sau pahelavahelAM ja Abu gayA. comAsAnA khaLa khaLa vahetA pravAho, lIlIchama saghana vanarAjI, judAM judAM darzanIya sthAno - e badhuM jiMdagImAM pahelavaheluM ja jovA maLyuM ? amArA maithila paMDita paNa patnI sahita Abu upara amArI sAthe AvelA. delavADAthI acalagaDha javA badhA nIkaLyA. AjanI peThe te vakhate te rasto durasta na hato. badhA ghoDe caDaDyA. paMDitajIe dhAryuM ke strI paNa acalagaDha jue ne bhale ghoDe bese. vacce khUba DhALa AvatAM ghoDuM doDyuM eTale paMDitANIe lagAma choDI daI hoho karavA mAMDyuM. paMDitajI jeTalA zAstrajJa eTalA ja avyavahAru eTale temaNe paNa potAnA ghoDAnI lagAma choDI daI jANe patnIne AzvAsana ApatA hoya tema hohAmAM bhAga lIdho ane UMce avAje vrajalAlajI-vrajalAlajI ema karavA lAgyA. sAruM thayuM ke paDatAM bacI gayA, paNa vaLAvA bhIloe jyAre jANyuM ke A to kAzInA moTA paMDita che tyAre temanI kAzI viSenI zraddhA keTalI rahI haze te to e ja jANe; paNa mane to ema jarUra thayuM ke kAzI rahuM chuM chatAM zAstroe nAnI uMmaranI ghoDesvArIne bhulAvI dIdhI nathI.

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13. parIkSA ane mithilAnA anubhavo parIkSAmAM prathama varga comAsuM pUruM thavA AvyuM ne AgaLano kAryakrama nakkI thayo. vrajalAlajIe kalakattA jaI bhaNavuM ane mAre kAzI rahIne bhaNavuM ema TharyuM. kalakattAmAM vrajalAlajI ekalA ja jAya ne ame bAkInA badhA kAzImAM ja rahIe evI goThavaNa thaI. meM kAzI kvInsa kaoNlejanI saMpUrNa nyAya-madhyamAnI parIkSA ApavA phorma bharyuM. prathama bhaNelA granthone paNa have kAzI pahoMcyA bAda vartavA zikSitAnAmasmRthvayaM veta: e kAlidAsanI uktine anusarI pharI pharI vAMcavA-citavavAmAM paDI gayo. parIkSA AvI. mAre mATe kaoNlejamAM parIkSA levAnI vyavasthA evI thayelI ke, huM lakhAvuM te lakhavA te viSayone sarvasthA na jANato hoya evo ja lekhaka rahe. lekhaka jyotiSI nakkI thayelo; te saMskRtanI zuddha saMdhi sudhdhAMya na jANe. banyuM ema ke huM tenI pAse alaga rUmamAM praznonA uttaro lakhAvato. lekhaka jyotiSI boluM te pramANe lakhe to jAya, paNa tenuM lakhANa ane joDaNI to azuddha. upara dekharekha rAkhanAra eka baMgAlI bhaTTAcArya, je M, A. hatA temaNe joyuM ke huM lakhAvuM chuM kAMI ane lakhAya che kAMIka bIjuM ja. bhaTTAcArye lekhakane kahyuM ke, A to va bole che tame ene badale va kema lakho cho ? sa bole che ne ? kema lakho cho ? ItyAdi. mAro pitto gayo. mane thayuM ke mArA uttaro jonAra kevaLa enI yathArthatA nahi jue. e to lakhANa upara paNa dhyAna Apaze. uttaro sAcA hovA chatAM mAtra lekhananI azuddhine kAraNe paNa te mArka ochA Apaze. A to bhAre anyAya thaze. meM pelA bhaTTAcAryanuM dhyAna kheMcyuM ke mArI First ClassnI badhI taiyArI chatAM aNaghaDa lekhaka mane saphaLa thavA nahi de. meM lekhakanI pUrI phI ApI che to yogya lekhaka kema na rAkhyo ? bhaTTAcArye kahyuM ke tame phikara na karo. te vakhate kaoNlejanA prinsipala hatA venisasAheba. temane bhaTTAcAryajIe A viSe vAta karI. daramiyAna huM paNa temanI pAse pahoMcI gayo. meM saMskRtamAM ja AvezapUrvaka kahyuM ke Avo aNaghaDa lekhaka mArI pUrNa taiyArIne niSphaLa karaze teno doSa kone mAthe ? venisa bhAre saMskRtajJa ane bhalA paNa temaNe mane kahyuM ke kAlathI tamArI maukhika parIkSA thaze. meM kahyuM je praznapatro gayAM tenuM zuM? temaNe pharIthI badhAM ja praznapatronI maukhika parIkSA levAnuM TharAvyuM, pote hAjara

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86 0 mAruM jIvanavRtta rahyA ane te te viSayanA paMDito pAse maukhika prazno puchAvyA. A uttaro ApatI vakhate kaoNlejanA keTalAka ajANyA paMDitono paNa paricaya thayo. parIkSAnuM phaLa to First Class AvyuM ja, paNa mane kharo lAbha paMDita paricayathI thayo. beeka paMDito mArI tarapha AkarSAyA ane huM temanI tarapha. pariNAme eka atiprasiddha naiyAyika paMDita nAmAcaraNa bhaTTAcArye mane potAne ghera AvI bhaNI javA kahyuM ne kAMIka aMze mAre mATe navuM dvAra paNa khUlyuM. vAmAcaraNajI pAse adhyayana madhyamAnI cAra varSanI pUrNa parIkSAmAM sArI rIte pAsa thayAnA samAcAra jANI vallabhavijayajI mahArAja prasanna thayA haze. temaNe sAdhusvabhAva pramANe be-traNa sthaLethI dhanyavAdasUcaka tAra karAvyA. paNa mane kAMI khAsa racyuM nahi. nyAyAcAryanAM cha varSa paikI pAMca varSa jeTalo korsa to huM karI ja gayelo. niyama pramANe krame krame parIkSA ApavAnuM kAma ja mAtra bAkI hatuM eTale korsa sivAyanuM bIjuM agatyanuM bhaNI levuM ane parIkSAno samaya Ave tyAre korsanA grantho ApameLe ja tAjA karI levA evA vicArathI AgaLano kAryakrama zarU thayo. 1966nA unALAmAM roja cAlIne khare bapore naiyAyika vAmAcaraNajIne tyAM jato. khare bapora eTalA mATe pasaMda karelo ke te vakhate bIjA bhaNanAra na hoya eTale nirAMte samaya maLe, paNa paMDitonuM cakra juduM ja hoya che. vAmAcaraNajI pAse meM navya nyAyanA sUtradhAra gaMgeza upAdhyAyano tattvaciMtAmaNi grantha mAthurI TIkAsahita zarU karelo. huM keTale dUrathI, keTalI garamImAM, keTalI jijJAsAthI zIkhavA Avyo chuM enuM mApa bhaTTAcAryajInI nyAyabuddhi kADhI zakatI nahi ema mane lAgatuM chatAM jyAre jyAre thoDuM paNa bhaNAvatA tyAre temanI naiyAyika sulabha aSTa dRSTi ne temanuM UMDuM jJAna mane AkarSI ati tApamAM zItalatA arpatAM. A kramathI mAruM adhyayana vizada banatuM, paNa buddhine joIto pUro khorAka na maLato tethI eka maithila naiyAyikane tyAM paNa sAMje javuM zarU karyuM. tenuM ghara traNeka mAIla dUra eTale baporarAta maLI ATheka mAIlanI musApharI saheja thatI. vakhata jatAM zrama dekhAto, paNa Arogya sacavAtuM. koI vAra ekkAmAM besI javAnuM mana thatuM to tene rokI paisA bacAvato. e betraNa AnAnI malAI ke rabaDI khavaDAvI pagano thAka utArato. ATaluM cAlavAno utsAha TakI rahyo enuM eka kAraNa prathama karela sametazikharanI pagapALA musApharI e paNa hatuM. juvAnI ane jijJAsAjanya utsAha eTale te vakhate paDatuM tANa bahu anubhavamAM na AvyuM, paNa enI asara zarIra upara thavI zarU thaI gaI hatI. covihAranI TevanI asara dezamAM nizALe bhaNato tyArathI ja covihAranI Teva to hatI ja, kAzInI ati garamImAM paga ja lagI te sacavAI hatI. rAte na jamavuM e saMskAra to sAro ja

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parIkSA ane mithilAnA anubhavo 0 87 hato, paNa game tevI garamImAM ati tRSA lAgyA chatAM pANI na pIvAno saMskAra ArogyanI dRSTie UlaTI asara karI rahyo hato. rAte pANI nathI pIvAnuM e dhAraNAthI divasa chatAM bane teTaluM vadhAre pANI DhIMcavuM ne UMTanI peThe peTamAM pANIno saMgraha karavo e abhyAsa pahelethI paDyo hato ne kAzInI garamImAM vadhyo paNa hato. ene lIdhe pAcanakriyA upara ane mUtrAzaya upara vadhAre paDatI kharAba asara dekhAvA lAgI. toya rAte pANI na pIvAno saMskAra baMdha na paDyo. vicAra karatAM ema lAge che ke jo te vakhate rAte paMDitane tyAM bhaNavA javAnI prabaLa jijJAsAe e saMskAra badalavA pharaja pADI na hota to kadAca e saMskAra vadhAre lAMbo vakhata cAlyo hota ne zarIra upara enI aniSTa asara paNa vadhAre thaI hota. rAte paNa garamImAM bhaNavA javAnuM eTale rAte pANI na pIvAno niyama zarUAtamAM parANe parANe moLo karyo, paNa pachI to Aja lagI e badhuM pacI ja gayuM che. mithilAmAM veThelAM ko Agale varSe kAzImAM AcAryanA pahelA khaMDanI tathA paTaNAmAM madhyamA ema be parIkSA ApI. have parIkSA ApavI e mukhya dhyeya na hatuM, paNa apekSita zAstrasAmarthya prApta karavuM tema ja game tevA agharA grantho paNa ApameLe vAMcI ane samajI zakAya evI bhUmikAe pahoMcavuM e dhyeya hatuM kAzInA cAlu kramathI e dhyeyanI siddhi thatI na lAgI. daramiyAna eka sArA maithila paMDita maLI gayA, jemanuM nAma hatuM candrazekhara. teo mane kahe jo tame mithilAmAM Avo to huM tamane pUro vakhata ApI bhaNAvuM. darabhaMgAthI AgaLa madhuvanI sTezana pAsenA pilakhavADa gAmamAM huM temanI sAthe gayo. e gAmamAM moTA taiyAyika hatA. mahAmahopAdhyAya duHkhamocana jhA. te evA vAdarasika ke TikiTa laI TrenamAM caDhavAnA hoya ne koI paMDita maLI gayo to Trena TikiTa badhuM jatuM karI enI sAthe carcAmAM ja UtarI jAya. gAmaDuM sAva nAnuM, ThaMDIno pAra nahi. sUvAnI mAtra jAma ane paheravAoDhavAnAM traNacAra kapaDAM eTale zItanI tapasyA to hatI ja, paNa khAvAnIe eka rIte mArA mATe tapasyA hatI. bhAta sivAya bIjuM khAvA na maLe. dUdha mArAthI kema maMgAya ? ekalA bhAta upara kadI nahi rahelo. thI to na ja hoya. hA, kyAreka kyAreka mithilAnuM ghIne AMTe evuM thoDuM dahIM maLe kharuM, mana to ghaNuM thAya ke vadhAre dahIM mAMgu, paNa saMkoca ADe Ave. DAMgaranuM parALa garama eTale tenI ja gAdI banatI ane jAjama oDhavAnA kAmamAM AvatI. ghara pAsenA pokharAomAM jaI nAhato. na nAhIMe to loko jaina gaNI avagaNe. nahAto tyAre keTalIka vAra vIMchInA caTakAno anubhava thato, paraMtu jijJAsA A badhuM sahevA preratI. khAvAnA ane bIjA paisA pAse hatA te paMDitajInA mAmAnA gharanI garIbAI joI temane ghaNAkharA ApI dIdhA. ati TADhamAM paheravA lAtela garama sveTara paNa ApI dIdhuM. lAlaca to e hatI

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88 mAruM jIvanavRtta ke ethI prasanna thaI paMDitajI khUba mamatAthI bhaNAve ane zAstranA UMDA mA~ dila coryA sivAya batAvI de. paMDitajI mArI kALajI to rAkhe, paNa teo bahu durbaLa ane bImAra rahetA ane hatA mAmAne tyAM eTale temane paNa thayuM ke sukhalAlajIne pUrato saMtoSa Apato nathI ane bIjI agavaDa to UbhI ja che. temaNe potAnA vatana siMhavADAmAM javAnuM TharAvyuM. huM paNa sAthe cAlyo. A gAma darabhaMgAthI pAMca gAu dUra che. pAse eka nAnI nadI vahe che. ne Amravana paNa che. tyAM phusathI chavAyela eka jhUMpaDAmAM rahyo. unALo to jema tema gayo, paNa varasAda AvyuM pANI sAthe pUrI maitrI sadhAvA lAgI. pelA AmravanamAMnA eka jUnA gharamAM rahyA to tyAM jIvAtanuM rAjya. chevaTe sAthI bhAlacaMdra brahmacArI sAthe vicArI nakkI karyuM ke ahIM rahevA karatAM darabhaMgA jaI rahevuM sAruM che. nizcaya pramANe page cAlatAM. rastAmAM kerIo ane jAMbUDAMne satkAratAM, vAmpatI nadInA navA pUramAM khUba nAhI darabhaMgA AvI pahoMcyA. citradhara mizra ane prAyazcitta prathA darabhaMgAmAM eka saMskRta rAjakIya vidyAlaya che. te vakhate tyAMnA prinsipAla mahAmahopAdhyAya citradhara mizra hatA. te mImAMsaka hatA. huM temane maLavA gayelo. te vakhate Azaya e hato ke temanA dvArA eka suyogya vAcaka meLavavo. mahAmahopAdhyAyajI vRddha hatA ne huM gayo tyAre vidyArthIone mImAMsAzAstra bhaNAvatA ne vacce TapaTapa karatA. sAthIne pUchatAM pAchaLathI jaNAyuM ke teo TapaTapa dvArA makSikAyajJa karatA. mane thayuM ke jANe lAMbA vakhatathI baMdha paDela mImAMsAkasulabha pazuyazanI zuM pUrti teo karI rahyA che? huM temanI pAse beTho hato tyAre teo koIne prAyazcittanI vyavasthA ApI rahyA hatA. mithilA ane baMgAlamAM Dagale ne pagale prAyazcitta levA-devAnI prathA eTalI badhI pracalita che ke hajAro paMDito e vyavasthA upara potAnI pratiSThA ane AjIvikA nabhAvye jAya che. tyAMnuM lokamAnasa paNa evuM che ke kAMIka bhUla thaI ke paMDita pAse tenuM prAyazcitta pUchavA ne levA lokone prere. tethI tyAMnuM dharmazAstra Aje jIvatuM che. je mANasa prAyazcitta levA Avelo teNe bhUla e karelI ke nAnA vAchaDAne dorIthI bAMdheluM ne emAM e marI gayuM. mImAMsakajIe ene prAyazcitta e ApyuM ke tAre ughADe page gaMgA sudhI cAlatAM javuM ane tyAM snAna-dAna karavAM. pUchatAM mane jANa thaI ke gaMgA tyAMthI ghaNe dUra che. citradhara mizra bahu bhalA ane vivekI lAgyA. gurunI parIkSA temanI pAsethI pAcho pharato tyAM rastAmAM eka paMDita maLyA. temaNe mAruM nAmaThAma jANI laI pUchyuM ke zuM bhaNo cho? ane kyAM temaja konI pAse ? meM TUMkamAM patAvyuM. mane ema lAgyuM ke, pUchanAra umare mArAthI nAnA che. ane koI sAdhAraNa vidyArthI ke paMDita haze. alabatta, teo hatA to uMmare mArAthI nAnA, paNa hatA naiyAyika ane

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parIkSA ane mithilAnA anubhavo * 89 pAThazALAnA adhyApaka. emaNe mane sIdhesIdhuM pUchyuM ke tame ahIM raho to huM bhaNAvIza. mArI zraddhA ekadama kema coTe ? meM kAMIka saMkocAtAM saMkocAtAM kahyuM ke sAruM. teo jANe mArA maMda svarano bhAva samajI gayA hoya tema tarata ja bolyA ke tame mane keTaluMka pUchI juo ne khAtarI thAya to ahIM raho. meM nyAyazAstranI sUkSma koTIonAM be-cAra brahmAstro manamAM saMgrahI rAkhelAM temAMthI temanI sAme eka brahmAstra pheMkyuM, paNa e paMDita evA kuzaLa ke temaNe tarata ja mArA praznano laMbANathI ati spaSTa javAba Apyo. huM TharI gayo ne namI paNa paDyo. temaNe kahyuM ke tame pUchyuM. ane zaMkAnuM nirasana karyuM e sAruM karyuM. temanA kahevAthI huM tyAM ja rahI gayo. saMskRta vidyArthIonA chAtrAlaya pAse eka gRhasthano nAno bagIco hato, jemAM eka kAcuM makAna. enI osarImAM ame rahyA. pAse cokAmAM rasoI karatA. keLanAM pAMdaDAMo upara mithilAnA sugaMdhI kRSNabhoga bhAta upara tuveranI dALa pIrasAyA bAda jyAre taddana cokhkhuM ane tAjuM ghI paDatuM tyAre kharekhara bhojanahavana maghamaghI UThato. enI sugaMdha A lakhuM chuM tyAre smRtipaTa upara DokiyAM kare che, paNa A bagIco sadyo nahi. eka to varasAda makAnamAM paNa navarAvI nAMkhe ane bIju bagIcAmAM sarpa mahArAja darzana de. tyAMthI ame UpaDyA dharmazALAmAM. enuM makAna pAkuM. tyAM phAvyuM. roja vidyAlayamAM taiyAyikajI pAse savAre bhaNavA jAuM. gadAdharanA savyabhicAra-sapratipakSa vagere grantho bhaNato. thoDAka divasa rahyo na rahyo tyAM to kAzIthI patra Avyo ane kAzI pAcho pharyo. te paMDitanuM nAma bALakRSNa mizra. teo naiyAyika to hatA ja, paNa asAdhAraNa dArzanika AlaMkArika ne satkavi paNa hatA. mArA ane emanA vacce je sadbhAva baMdhAyo te gujarAtamAM gayA pachI paNa cAlu to rahyo ja hato, paNa te vadhAre sajIva banyo hindu yunivarsiTImAM bAlakRSNane huM gurujI ke mizrajI kaheto. mizrajI hindu yunivarsiTImAM AvyA tyArathI mAlavIyAjIne ane e.bI. dhruvane kahetA ke tame ahIM sukhalAlajIne kema nathI bolAvatA ? daivayoge I. sa. 1933mAM huM hindu yunivarsiTImAM jaina darzananA adhyApaka tarIke Avyo. mizrajI oriyanTala kaoNlejanA prinsipAla ane vedAntanA adhyApaka hatA. emanA ane mArA vacce baMdha paDelo guruziSyabhAva pAcho zarU thayo te TheTha I. sa. 1943nA DisembaranA aMta sudhI temano chevaTano aMta thayo tyAM lagI ekasarakho cAlyo. teoe deha ane kAzI baMne sAthe choDyAM, jyAre meM e Disembarane aMte ja mAtra kAzI choDI. meM jIvanamAM jeTalA guru karyA che teTalA bahu ochAe karyo haze, paNa temAM be evA mukhya che ke jemano mArA vidyAbhyAsanA ghaDataramAM bahu asAdhAraNa phALo che. temAMthI eka A bAlakRSNa mizra ane bIjA zarUAtamAM vyAkaraNanA adhyApaka tivArIjI. tivArIjI paNa lagabhaga 775 varSanI uMmare I. sa. 194ramAM ja videha

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90 * mAruM jIvanavRtta thayA. huM koI koI vAra temanI pAse jaI Avato. mizrajI hatA to pAkA sanAtanI, paNa svabhAve ane vidyAvRttie eTalA udAra ke vicAra karatI vakhate temane saMpradAya ADe na Avato. mAruM jainatva bIjA badhA paMDitone ochevadhate aMze khaTakayuM haze, paNa mizrajIne e kadI khaTakeluM nahi; eTaluM ja nahi, paNa teo haMmezAM bauddhazAstra ane tenA itihAsa viSe mane pUchI ghaNuM jANe. huM lakhuM ke saMpadAna karuM te grantha sAMbhaLyA vinA saMtoSa na pAme. huM temanA priya viSaya vedAntanI aitihAsika ane tAttvika dRSTie samAlocanA karuM tyAre teo tathya svIkAravA uparAMta e paNa umere ke zAstro e to buddhinA khela che, ene aMtima satya mAnI buddhine gIro mUkavI emAM to zAstranuM ja apamAna che. bistarAnA chellA divasomAM mizrajIe mane bolAvI potAnA prANathI paNa adhika saMgRhIta pustako mane soMpyAM ne kahyuM ke, mArA pachI AnI vyavasthA mArI vidhavA putravadhU ane putra vAcaspatinI dRSTie karajo. emaNe mArA upara je vizvAsa mUkyo hato tene saMpUrNapaNe vaphAdAra rahI te pustakono yogya nikAla karI guruzrAddha karyAno mane saMtoSa che. baMgAla, mithilA ne bihAranI vaiSNavatA darabhaMgAmAM eka vicitra prakRtino mANasa bheTyo. tenuM badhuM kuTuMba vaiSNava hatuM, paNa A juvAna bhAIe kyAMkathI jANI lIdhuM ke tenA pUrvajo mULe jaina hatA ne jUnA vakhatamAM teo upAdhyAyanuM kAma karatA. e nAgavaMzano che ane nAgavaMza pArzvanAthano anuyAyI hato ema teNe mane kahyuM. meM pUchyuM ke tArA vaDIlo tane jaina hovA viSe khAtI zI Ape che ? teNe kahyuM ke teo kahe che ke hamaNAM lagI ApaNe jaina ja hatA, paNa bIjA badhA vaiSNava thayA eTale lagnasaMbaMdhanI muzkelIne kA2Ne ApaNe paNa vaiSNava thayA. eNe mane kahyuM ke huM mArA bApadAdAnA jaina dharmane vaLagI rahevA icchuM chuM ne tethI hajI lagI meM lagna karyuM nathI, ityAdi. mithilAnA sanAtanIo pAsethI jANe jakkIpaNuM zIkhyo hoya tema teNe mane kahyuM ke, mAre evA jaina granthanuM adhyayana karavuM che ke je vaDe huM bIjAone parAjita karuM. AgaLa jatAM jyAre jaina itihAsa vize kAMIka jANato thayo tyAre e jakkI juvAnanI vAtamAM mane ghaNuM tathya jaNAyuM. baMgAla, mithilA ane bihAranI vaiSNavatA moTe bhAge bauddha ane jaina paraMparAnuM rUpAMtara che. atyAre e pradezomAM parApUrvathI cAlyAM AvatAM jaina kuTuMbo nathI, paNa 20040 varSa pahelAM e pradezomAM jaina kuTuMbo ghaNAM hatAM. hajArIbAga mAnabhoma Adi aneka jillAomAM je zrAga-sarAga loko Aje vase che te mULe jaina zrAvaka ja che. sammetazikharanI AsapAsa dUradUra sudhI pArzvanAthano dharma ane prabhAva vistarelo hato tethI ja e parvata pArzvanAtha hila' tarIke jANIto che. Azcarya nahi ke evA ja pArzvanAthanA anuyAyI keTalAMka kuTuMbo mithilAmAM paNa vasatAM hoya ne kALakrame vaiSNava banI gayAM hoya. pArzvanAthanuM cihna sarpa-nAga che. saMbhava che nAgavaMzano e sAthe paNa

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parIkSA ane mithilAnA anubhavo * 91 kAMIka saMbaMdha hoya. ema paNa hoya ke nAganI upAsanAne kAraNe nAgavaMza kahevAyo hoya ane pArzvanAtha paNa e ja vaMzamAM thayA hoya. A vastu vadhAre autihAsika zodha mAMge che. mithilAnuM bhojana mithilA sadAne mATe choDI, paNa tyAM gALela lagabhaga eka varSamAM je anubhava thayo te AgaLa jatAM mane dhArmika ane sAmAjika ItihAsa samajavAmAM bhAre madadagAra nIvaDyo. mithilA sajaLa ane phaLadrupa pradeza che. nAnAMnAnAM gAmo eTalAM eTalAM najIka ke te joI, mane hemacaMdra vyAkaraNamAM Apela kukakurasammAlyAH rAmA. udAharaNanI vAstavikatA pratIta thaI. emAM AMbA, jAMbuDI, lIcI, keLa vagerenAM vRkSonI chAyA jyAM juo tyAM patharAyelI che. tyAMno mukhya pAka ane mukhya bhojana cokhA. cokhA paNa eTalA vividha jAtanA ke huM dukAnomAM kharIdavA jAuM tyAre enAM nAma ane prakAro jANI vismaya pAmato. moMghAmAM moMghA ane sArAmAM sArA gaNAtA cokhA te vakhate huM rUpiyAnA 14 ratala lAvato. bhAta khAvAnA AvI paDela prasaMga ane svAdane lIdhe tyAra bAda ghaNAM varSo lagI huM bhAtakhAu banI gayo. gujarAtamAM jamaNanuM kendra ghI to mithilAmAM jamaNanuM kendra dahIM. eTaluM dahIM khAdhuM ?" ema koI zrAddhabhojI brAhmaNane pUchIe to bazerathI cAra zera sudhI jaNAve. tyAMnuM dahIM paNa abhuta. meM eka vAra gurujIne pUchyuM ke ATaluM badhuM madhura ane cIkaNuM dahIM thAya che tenuM zuM kAraNa ? temaNe kahyuM ke zera dUdha kaDhAIne aDhI pAzera rahe tyAre ja meLavavAmAM Ave che. mithilA, brAhmaNapradhAna deza mithilA brAhmapradhAna deza che. bIjA varSo mAtra brAhmaNanI sevA arthe rahyA hoya tevA bhAsa thAya che. brAhmaNo kaTTara sanAtanI ane vidyAdhana. evuM koI gAmaDuM nahi hoya ke jyAM daza gharanI vastImAM paNa be-cAra nAnA-moTA vidvAno na hoya. vyAkaraNa, sAhitya, nyAya, darzano ane jyotiSa e prAcya vidyAo tyAM khUba sacavAyelI che. ne baMgAlanI peThe tyAM tAMtrikonuM paNa Adhipatya che. sanAtanI kaTTaratA evI ke mithilAmAM svAmI dayAnaMde paNa javAnI hAma na bhIDI. khaMDanamaMDananuM tattva chaLa, jAti ne nigrahasthAnonuM vistRta nirUpaNa karanAra akSapAda gautamanA vaMzaja maithilonI prakRtimAM vaNAyeluM che ne UMDo vidyAbhyAsa paNa enI vahAre Ave che eTale vaidika viruddha koI matavAda tyAM bhAgye ja saphaLa nIvaDe che. AgaLa uparanA aitihAsika adhyayanathI A paraMparAnuM mULa vadhAre spaSTa thayuM. buddha-mahAvIranA samayanA ke kadAca tethIye pahelAMnA samayanA vedavirodhI vidvAno mithilAnA vaidika dharma sAme phAvyA na hatA. AgaLa jatAM magadha ane mithilAno pradeza be virodhI chAvaNIomAM vaheMcAI gayo. nAlaMdA, udantapurI ke vikramazIlA Adi bauddha vidyApIThomAMthI koI bauddha vidvAne vaidika darzananI mImAMsA

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92 * mAruM jIvanavRtta karI ke teno uttara maithila paMDito Ape ja. lagabhaga paMdaraso varSanA vADmayamAM evo bhAgye ja koI grantha haze ke jeno prativAda maithila vidvAnoe tarata ja na karyo hoya. kharI rIte A kALanA sAhityamAM eka bAju bauddha ane bIjI bAju maithila dArzaniko ema sAme sAme UbhA che. ne baMne pakSo ekameka upara sarasAI bhogavavAno prayatna kare che. prAcIna kALathI AjalagI janaka videhanI mithilAmAM jeTaluM sAhitya udbhavyuM che ne hayAta che tene choDI devAmAM Ave to bhAratIya darzanomAM prANa ja na rahe. ati garIbImAM paNa tenA brAhmaNo A vidyA-paraMparA sAcavI rahyA che ane mAtra vidyAne baLe teo gujarAtI-mAravADI vyApArIonI peThe sarvatra phelAyelA che. maithila brAhmaNonA matsya-mAMsabhojanamAM gAbaDuM paDyuM hoya to te vaiSNava dharmane AbhArI che. chatAM dharmazAstrano AdhAra laI enuM samarthana karavAno utsAha teomAM hajI ocho thayo nathI. maithila brAhmaNonI lagnaprathA tyAMnA brAhmaNomAM lagnaprathA ajaba che. pIlakhavADamAM jene tyAM huM jamato tene agiyAra strIo hatI. mane kautuka thayuM ke A nAnA kUbAmAM ne ATalI badhI garIbImAM temano samAveza ane poSaNa kevI rIte thatAM haze ? paNa muzkelI ja mArga mokaLo karAve che e nyAye brAhmaNoe rasto paNa zodhI kADhyo che. eka ke be UMca khAnadAna kuTuMbanI kahevAtI hoya tevI strIo sivAyanI bIjI badhI vivAhitAo potapotAnA pitAne tyAM rahe. jamAIrAja bhramaNanI mosamamAM bhramarAja banI thoDA thoDA divasa badhAM zvazuragRhomAM vArApharatI jAya ne dakSiNA dvArA ThIkaThIka kamANI paNa kare. ghaNI strIo eTale kamANI paNa ghaNI. koI meLo ke utsava hoya tyAre hajAronI saMkhyAmAM brAhmaNo maLe ne va2-kanyAnA sodA thAya. tyAM dharmazAstra eTaluM badhuM anullaMghanIya manAya che ke te kanyAne lagna pahelAM bhAgye ja nava varSathI moTI thavA de. A dharmazAstra AjakAlanA sarakArI kAyadAmAMthI chaTakavAnI bArI paNa temane darzAvI ApI che. tethI teo nepAlanI sarahadamAM jaI dharmAM lagna karI le che.

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14. tyAgIomAM padavIno moha vi. saM. 1964 bhAdaravA suda pAMcama (saMvatsarI)ne divase bhadainI jainaghATa upara rahevA AvyA ne 1969nA ASADha zukalamAM kAzIno mULagata abhyAsa choDI pAlanapura | gujarAtamAM huM gayo. te daramiyAna aneka banAvo banI gayA, paNa ahIM to atyAre yAda AvatA keTalAka khAsa banAvonI ja noMdha lauM chuM. mahArAjajInuM amArA prati valaNa yazovijaya pAThazALA choDI ame cAra abhyAsIo judA rahyA. temAM huM ane vrajalAlajI mukhya. ame vicAra karyo ke ApaNe koI vRddha anubhavI vidvAnane mArgadarzaka tarIke meLavavo. saddabhAgye bhAvanagara kaoNlejanA vAnaprastha prinsipala UnavAlA amane jaDI AvyA. teo te vakhate senTrala hiMdu kaoNlejamAM misisa enI bisenTanI sAthe thiyosophisTa tarIke kAma karatA. temaNe mArgadarzaka thavAnuM svIkAratAM kahyuM ke jyAre jyAre jarUra hoya tyAre tyAre maLI jajo. ame avAranavAra maLatA. e khuzamijAja ne vividha bhASAvizArada pArasI amane aneka rIte hasAvatA ane kAMIka sUcanA paNa ApatA. pAThazALA choDI abhyAsa khAtara kAzImAM rahyA tyArathI ja ame nakkI kareluM ke koIpaNa rIte pAThazALA sAthe saMparka rAkhavo nahi. nahi to bhaNavAmAM vighna AvyA ja karaze. paraMtu bIjI bAju pAThazALA prANasama mahArAjajIne ema thayA ja karatuM ke A loko pAThazALA choDI kAzImAM svataMtrapaNe rahyA che te taka maLatAM pAThazALA upara kabajo jamAvavAnA ke tene badanAma karavAnA hetuthI ja rahe che. A kAraNathI teo koI paNa pratiSThita sagRhasthane amAre viSe kAMI ne kAMI bhaLatuM kahyA vinA rahI zakatA nahi. bIjuM kAMI nahi to chevaTe eTaluM ja kahe ke, A vidyArthIo koInA niyamanamAM che ja nahi tethI temane rAtribhojana karatAM koNa roke? teo maMdiramAM jAya che ke nahi te koNa jue ? ItyAdi. aneka Arthika madada karanAra gRhasthone paNa teo amArI viruddha bhaMbheratA. amane A vAtanI kayAreka gaMdha AvI jatI. padavInI kharIdI ame abhyAsanimagna hatA tema chatAM pAThazALAmAM koI avanavo banAva bane to tene jANavAno rasa cheka gayo na hato. pAThazALA ane amArA makAna vacce traNeka

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4 mAruM jIvanavRtta mAIlanuM aMtara hovA chatAM evAM paNa mAdhyamo hatAM ke je dvArA avanavA banAvo viSe anicchAe paNa jANa thaI jAya. samAcAra maLyA ke mahArAjajIne kAzInA vidvAno. zAstavizAradanI padavI Ape che teno bhAre mahotsava zarU thayo che ne bahArathI mobhAdAra jaina saMgrahastho paNa AvyA che. sAthe sAthe e paNa jANa thaI ke zAstravizAradanuM pada samarpaNa karanAra paMDita mAtra kAzInA ja nathI, paNa baMgAla, mithilA vagere dezonA che. ATalA badhA paMDitoe sahI karI tenuM rahasya paNa jANavAmAM AvyuM. prophesara UnavAlAne paNa jANa thayelI eTale temaNe amane bolAvI kahyuM ke padavIdAnanI pAchaLanuM rahasya tamAre pragaTa karavuM joIe. bhoLA jeno aMdhArAmAM na rahe. ame kahyuM - sAruM, eka patrikA lakhI prasiddha karIzuM, paNa bIje divase prophesara UnavALAe bolAvI kahyuM ke, meM tamane kahyuM hatuM te pAchuM kheMcI lauM chuM. tame potAnA kAmamAM ja raho. kIcaDathI dUra na rahIe to tenA chAMTAM UDe ja, ema ame ja karyuM. Aje paNa mane UnavAlAnI e salAha kImatI lAge che. ame mauna rahyA eTale mahArAjajIne nArAja thavAnuM kAraNa paNa na maLyuM ke amArA kAmamAM vikSepa paNa na paDyo. pola koI pragaTa na kare toya te kALakrame khullI thaI ja jAya che. banyuM ema ke mahArAjajIne zAstravizAradanI padavI ApavAmAM mahenata karanAra eka paMDita zyAmasuMdara vaizya gujarAtamAM rahetA muni buddhisAgarajIne paNa evI padavI apAvavA khaTakhaTa karI. eNe buddhisAgarajInA anuyAyIo pAsethI paisA meLavI pUrva dezanA paMDitomAM vaheMcI temanI pAsethI sahIo lIdhI. zyAmasuMdarajI pAThazALAmAM rahevA chatAM A kAma guptapaNe ja karyuM hatuM. chellI ghaDIe jyAre te paMDitonuM sahIpatra laI muMbaI buddhisAgarajI pAse javA UpaDyA tyAre pAThazALAmAM jANa thaI. mahArAjajI ane temano parivAra ciDAyo. eTalA mATe ke zyAmasuMdara to gujarAtamAM rahetA sAdhune paNa zAstravizArada pada apAve che ane tethI mahArAjajIne maLela padanuM gaurava ApoApa ghaTe che. chevaTe baMne pakSonA virodhane lIdhe A pola ApameLe ja khullI thaI ke AvAM zAstravizArada pado khisse garama hoya to paMDito pAsethI meLavavA sahelAM che. paMDitone mana paisAnI ja yogyatA che. tyAgIonI padavIlolupatA be-cAra varSa bAda AvI ja padavIlolupatAno mane potAne paraco maLyo, muni lambivijayajI, je atyAre vijayalabdhisUrinA nAmathI prasiddha che ne je vijayakamalasUrinA uttarAdhikArI che, temane eka vAra mazkarImAM meM dilhI mukAme kahyuM ke, mahArAjajI ! paisA hoya to tame paNa zAstravizArada banI zako. temaNe ane temanA ziSya gaMbhIravijayajIe mane pUchyuM ke keTalA rUpiyA lAge ? meM kahyuM ke joIe 200 25 hajAra. teo kahe, eTalA rUpiyA hoya to tame prayatna karo ? meM kahyuM kAzImAM tamAre AvavuM joIe. ne jaladI kAma patAvavA mArI sAthe relamAM paNa besavuM joIe nahi to ghaNo vakhata jAya. temaNe mArI uktine taddana sAcI mAnI kahyuM ke jo tame

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tyAgIomAM padavIno moha sAthe cAlo to ame relamAM paNa besIzuM. huM na jANuM tevI rIte pAchaLathI potAnA eka anuyAyIne paMjAbathI tAra dvArA bolAvI paNa lIdho. beeka divasa pachI mane kahe ke, juo A bhAI paMjAbathI AvyA che, mahArAjajInA bhakta che, te badho kharca karaze. meM joyuM ke makarIno bhAva sAcA arthamAM levAyo che eTale tarata ja hasIne kahyuM ke mahArAjajI ! tame eTaluM paNa na samajyA ke e saMbhava hoya toya padavIkharIdInI ThekaDI uDADanAra sukhalAla kadI zuM evA kAmamAM bhAga le ? teo khasiyANA paDI gayA. AgaLa jatAM itihAsanA vAcane temaja bIjA sAkSAt anubhavoe e spaSTa karI dIdhuM ke, padavInI lolupatA temaja harIphomAM padavI viSenI spardhA tyAgIomAM jANe vArasAgata UtarI AvI che. umedavAronI rAjagAdI meLavavAnI khaTapaTa karatAM AcArya ke tevAM pada meLavavAnI khaTapaTa tyAgIomAM jarAya ochI hoya tema mane dekhAtuM nathI. ghaNI vAra mane ema lAgyuM ke, pUrNa dhRSTatA keLavyA sivAya koIpaNa padavIno svIkAra ne jAherAta karavI e zakya ja nathI. jainetaro sAtheno sahavAsa - have huM saMskArI brAhmaNa kuTuMba sAthe raheto. tethI mArI raheNIkaraNImAM phera paDe e svAbhAvika hatuM. jenaparaMparAnI ne kuTuMbanI keTalIya vArasAgata Tevo badalAI. Aje vicAra karuM chuM tyAre mane enuM bahumUlya samajAya che. ane ema paNa lAge che ke jainoe brAhmaNa saMskAra mitrAne virodhI gaNI hasI kADhavA e ghAtaka che. mArA saMsargathI e brAhmaNakuTuMbamAM paNa keTaluMka parivartana thatuM joyuM che. A anubhave mane zIkhavyuM che ke judI judI nAto ane dharmaparaMparAnA sabhyo samajaNa ane udAratApUrvaka sAthe rahe temAM baMnene lAbha che. ataDApaNuM, kUpamaMDUkatA, ane zreSThamanyatA ethI sarI paDe che. dainika jIvananA saMskAronI Apale uparAMta dhArmika dRSTie paNa e sahavAsathI mane lAbha ja thayo che. meM vaidika darzanono game teTalo abhyAsa karyo hota ne saMskArI brAhmaNa kuTuMbano jAgato paricaya na hota to vadhAre saMbhava evo che ke vaidika darzano viSe ghAtaka pUrvagraha ja rahyo hota. alabatta, mArA ane vrajalAlajInI vacce saMskAra temaja dharmanI bAbatamAM ghaNI vAra garamAgarama carcA thatI ne te athaDAmaNInI hada sudhI pahoMcatI chatAM parasparanI mitratA ane guNagrahaNa dRSTie amane baMnene ethI phAyado ja thato. meM joyo che. mArI bAbatamAM to huM eTaluM khAtarIthI kahI zakuM chuM ke AjanI mArI AsAMpradAyika vRttimAM jeTalo bhAga jenetara darzananA adhyayane bhajavyo che teTalo ja bhAga jainetara lokonI sAthenA sahavAse paNa bhajavyo che. digambara paricaya bhadainI jene ghATa upara Avyo ane eka bIjuM navuM paricayaprakaraNa zarU thayuM. tyAM digambara pAThazALA cAle che. temAM mAtra digambara vidyArthIo rahe che. e vidyArthIo

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96. mAruM jIvanavRtta moTe bhAge yu. pI.nA ane thoDAka kannaDI hoya che. makAna lagolaga eTale vidyArthIo mArI pAse jatA AvatA thayA. zarUAtamAM emanI ati saMkucita sAMpradAyika vRtti emane mArI sAthe bhaNI jatAM rokatI haze - paNa thoDA ja vakhatamAM e sthiti badalAI gaI. mane jeTalo zokha bhaNavAno eTalo ja bhaNAvavAno paNa pahelethI rahyo che. te vakhate to mArA samayano moTo bhAga bhaNAvavAmAM jato. pAse je Ave ane je viSaya bhaNe tene te bhaNAvuM. mArI sAmAnya taiyArI paNa ghaNA viSayo pUratI hatI. digambara vidyArthIo mArI pAse bhaNavA ta2pha eTalA mATe DhaLyA ke huM vadhAre mahenata ane khaMtathI samajAvuM. mane potAne emAM rasa paNa vadhAre paDato. meM atyAra lagImAM digambara-sAhitya nAmamAtra joyeluM. have A nimitte vadhAre taka sAMpaDI. saMskRta-prAkRta vyAkaraNa, kAvya, caMpU, alaMkAra, dharma, tarka Adi viSayonA aneka digambara grantho jovAno ne enI sAthe tAdAtmya sAdhavAno avasara ThIka ThIka maLyo, jeNe AgaLa jatAM mArA lekhana-saMpAdana kAryamAM bhAre madada karI ane vadhArAmAM digambara paraMparA sAthe AtmIyatA baMdhAvAnI bhUmikA taiyAra karI. A bhUmikAe AgaLa jatAM digambara-paraMparAmAMthI mitro zodhI ApyA ne temanI sAthe rahevA temaja kAma karavAnI preraNA paNa ApI che. gaMgAnI lIlA gaMgAtaTe varSo lagI rahyo eTale eka mahAnadInA kinAre vasanArAone judI judI Rtuo daramiyAna thAya tevA anubhavo paNa thayA. moTuM pUra Ave ne divaso lagI na ja Utare. jyAre pUra Ave tyAre nAnAM-moTAM aneka jIvita ane mRta prANIo temaja manuSyo taNAtAM jAya ne hAthI jevAM prANI paNa game teTalI koziza chatAM kinAre pahoMcI zake nahi. hajAro jhADo ane DALo pUravegamAM taNAtAM hoya tyAre jIvane jokhame paNa khAravAonAM chokarA-chokarIo ne strIo pravAhamAM jhaMpalAvI tene kheMcI lAve e AkhA varSanuM baLataNa meLavI le, makAne aDelAM, bhamarI khAtAM ne mojAM-uchALatAM pANImAM trIsa phUTa jeTalI UMcI makAnanI TocathI niHzaMkapaNe vidyArthIonA bhUsakA zarU thAya. bhamarI khAtAM pANImAM sAme pUra cAlatAM nAvaDAM kAdavamAM gADuM khUMte tema aTakI paDe ne kyAreka kyAreka DUbe paNa. caDelA pUramAM varasAda RtunI majA mANavA sahelANIo nAvaDAmAM besI nIkaLe ne tulasI rAmAyaNa lalakAryAM kare. jANe grISmatApanA tapathI ja kSINa banI hoya evI kRzagaMgAnA jaLapaTamAM zaratnA osaratA pUramAM mahinA lagI rAmalIlA nimitte rAmanaga2 jatA-AvatA lokonI rAmadhUnathI gaMgA guMjI UThe. ziyALAnA AcharelAM pANImAM moTI moTI jALo bichAvI ghaDiyALa jevA gajagrAhI jaLajaMtuone macchImAro pakaDe. ne sAme pAra temane vIMdhI tenI carabIno anekavidha upayoga mATe saMgraha kare. vasaMtamAM bUDhavA maMgaLa'nA meLA vakhate aThavADiyA lagI

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tyAgIomAM padavIno moha 0 97 garIbo ane tavaMgaro rAtadivasa taratAM nAvaDAmAM phare; ne maMgaLamukhI gaMdharva kanyAonA madhura gItasvaro sAMbhaLe. jaLapaTamAM pAkA riyA A pArathI pele pAra tarI javAnI hoDano AnaMda letA hoya. A ane AnA jevAM dRzyo to gaMgAtaTe sAdhAraNa ja banI gayelAM hoya che. bAreya mahinA vahetuM hoya evuM nALuM ke nadI jiMdagImAM kadI nahi joyela yAtrIo jyAre Ave ne gaMgAnuM UMDANa, teno vistAra, mAIlo lagI patharAyelAM tenA ghATo, ghATo u52 UbhelAM moTAM moTAM maMdiro, temAMthI saMbhaLAtA ghaMTAnAdo, ghATo upara besI saMdhyAvaMdana karatA ane saMskRta po lalakAratA brAhmaNo, pANImAM taratA dIvAo A badhuM dRzya jue tyAre gaMgA pratye temanI zraddhA kevI UbharAya che e to mAtra darzanano viSaya che. varNanano viSaya nathI. grahaNa Ave ne dUra dUrathI Avela lAkho yAtrIono meLo jAme, maravAnI 52vA karyA vinA muktiprada gaMgAnI harIphAI cAle ne pUrvajone sadgati pahoMcADavAnAM paMDAonAM pralobhano temaja vacce vacce dhAka-dhamakI ane guMDAbAjI e badhuM gaMgAmAtAnI bhaktimAMthI kevI rIte hajAro varSa thayAM niSpanna thayuM che ane cAlyuM Ave che eno itihAsa tathA mAnasazAstrIya khulAso mane gaMgAtaTanA nivAse ja pUro pADyo che.

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15. parIkSAtyAga ane vidyAvistAra svayaMparIkSAnuM valaNa vi. saM. 1966nA vasaMtamAM kvInsa kaoNlejanI caturvaSaya saMpUrNa nyAya madhyamAparIkSA ApI eTale AcAryaparIkSAmAM besavAnuM dvAra UghaDyuM. te vakhate e parIkSA cha varSamAM pUrNa thatI. meM vi. saM. 1969 sudhImAM traNa khaMDanI parIkSA ApI. bAkInA traNa khaMDonI paNa pUrI taiyArI prathamathI ja karI lIdhI hatI. chatAM trIjA khaMDanI parIkSA ApI tyAre eka ghaTanA evI banI ke meM te ja vakhate mAro nizcaya badalI nAkhyo. aMgreja prinsipAla kamarAmAM sAme beThelA. be bAjue be naiyAyiko eka jIvanAtha mizra ane bIjA vAmAcaraNa bhaTTAcArya. baMne chapAyela praznapatra hAthamAM laI mane maukhika prazna pUche ane huM uttara ApuM. prinsipAla saMskRtajJa kharA, paNa navIna nyAya jANatA hovA na joIe. parIkSaka mahAzayo mAro uttara sAMbhaLI vacce vacce chapAyela nahi evA keTalAka prazno - koTikramanA prazno pUche che ema mane jema jema samajAtuM gayuM tema tema paMDitonA vyavahArathI mAruM mAnasacakra UlaTI dizAmAM gatizIla thayuM. prazno ane uttaro pUrA thayA. pAcho pharyo, paNa e kamarAnA daravAjAmAM paga paDavA sAthe ja mAnasika nizcaya thaI gayo ke have kadI ahIM parIkSA ApavA ne parIkSakonI kuTilatAno bhoga thavA nahi AvuM. mane barAbara yAda che ke te vakhatano mAro e prabaLa nizcaya daravAjAnA uMbarA upara pagane pachADavA dvArA pragaTa thayo. bAkInI parIkSA ApavI hoya toya te mATe kAzImAM rahevAnI jarUra nathI. game tyAM jaIne kAma karavuM ane vakhata Avye hAjara thaI parIkSA ApI devI e dRSTithI parIksa badhA ja granthonuM adhyayana to karI ja lIdhuM hatuM, paNa have parIkSA na ApavAnA nirNaye eka navo vicAra utpanna karyo. te e ke, mAre ApameLe potAnI jAtanI kasoTI karI levI ke yogyatA keTalI AvI che ane keTalI bAkI che ? A kasoTInuM mAruM dhoraNa e hatuM ke zrIharSanuM khaMDanakhaMDakhAdya, madhusUdana sarasvatInI advaitasiddhi, ne cisvarUpAcAryanI cisukhI e traNa vedAntanA aMtima gaNAtA grantho jo huM ApameLe vAMcI ane samajI zakuM to nyAyanI yogyatA mArAmAM AvI che ema mAre samajavuM. A mAruM kasoTIdhoraNa hatuM. e pramANe huM te grantho laI samajavA beTho ne mane lAgyuM ke A grantho ApameLe game tyAre vAMcI ane

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parIkSAtyAga ane vidyAvistAra * 99 samajI zakIza. A rIte huM svaparIkSAmAM pAra Utaryo eTale vicAra thayo ke have kAzImAM rahI mAthe Arthika bhAraNa vadhAryA karavuM e barAbara nathI. have kAryakALa pAco kahevAya ne kAmamAM ja paDI javuM joIe. navIna nyAyamAM mahattvanuM sthAna bhogavatA AkhA anumAna khaMDane temaja bupattivAda, zaktivAda jevA zabdakhaMDanA granthone ane saprakAza kusumAMjalIne bhaNI javAno lAMbA kALano manoratha kAzImAM ja siddha thayo evA saMtoSa sAthe have AgaLano mArga levAno hato. vidyAvistAra tarapha vrajalAlajI kalakattA rahI vedAnta bhaNatA. vacce vacce kAzI Ave. emanI mAtA ne bhAI to mArI sAthe ja rahetAM. emaNe paNa vedAntatIrtha thaI have kAme caDavAno vicAra karyo. yogya kAma ane sthAna zodhavA javAnI ciMtA hatI ja nahi. amArA baMne mATe e viSenI kevI taiyArI thaI rahI che te ame jANatA ja hatA. alabatta, amAre potAne tyAM jaI amArI dRSTie te keTaluM mAphaka che ane iSTa che ke nahi te jovAnI jarUra to hatI ja. daramiyAna unALAmAM dara varSanI jema nakkI karyuM ke A garamIno upayoga keTalAka jaina grantho ne keLavaNI, itihAsa AdinAM hindI pustako vAMcavAmAM karavo. nizcaya pramANe upAdhyAya yazovijayajInAM nyAyAloka Adi jevA agharA grantho paNa joyA ane mIla, harbaTa spensara Adi pazcimIya lekhakonAM hindImAM anuvAdita keTalAMka pustako paNa vAMcyAM. Ane pariNAme vidyAruci, mAtra jUnI ghareDamAMthI mukti pAmI ne bIjI dizAe paNa vaLI. - bhajjainI jainaghATa upara rahevA Avyo tyArathI sArvajanika sabhAomAM javAno ane viziSTa vaktAonAM vyAkhyAno sAMbhaLavAno zokha vrajalAlajInI sobatathI ThIka-ThIka keLavAyo hato. AryasamAjanA vArSika utsavomAM savAranA AThathI rAtanA agyAra sudhI bhajano ane bhASaNonI jhaDI thatI. ame kaMTALyA vinA emAM taraboLa thatA. thiyosophisTanA, sanAtanIonA ane bIjA bIjA saMpradAyonA saMbhAvya vaktAo hoya tyAre ghaNe bhAge ame baMne pahoMcI jaIe. vipinacandra pAla ne mAlaviyAjI jevAnAM jozIlAM aMgrejI bhASaNo thatAM hoya tyAre paNa aMgrejI nahi jANavA chatAM pahoMcI jaIe. te vakhate koNa sarasa bole che e jANavAnI mArI kasoTI eTalI ja hatI ke koNa aMgrejImAM aTakyA vinA bole che ane konA bhASaNamAM vadhAre tALIo paDe che. huM dhAruM chuM, Aje paNa ghaNA kharA aMgrejI jANanArAo sudhdhAMnI lagabhaga AvI ja kasoTI hoya che. bhASaNo sAMbhaLavAnI Teve, bhASaNo karavAnI vRtti paNa janmAvI. siddhasena divAkaranI ukti zrotAra: nti sarvatra - pramANe zrotAo to jyAM tyAM hoya ja eTale anAyAse bolavAnI taka maLe ane kAMIka bolIe paNa kharA. A rIte vacanamAtrathI zAradAnI upAsanA cAlatI, paNa meM kAMIye lakhavAno vicAra hajI sevelo

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10 * mAruM jIvanavRtta nahi ane lakhavAnA abhyAsano sUtrapAta paNa karelo nahi, jyAre mArA sahacArI vrajalAlajI ghaNI vAra hindImAM jozIluM lakhatA ne mane avAranavAra saMbhaLAvatA paNa kharA. mane e rucatuM kharuM, paNa manamAM saMskAra e hato ke kharuM kAma to zAstrone yathArtha rIte samajavAnuM che ane tethI AgaLa vadhI tene bhaNAvavAnuM e to tethIye vadhAre mahattvanuM ane agharuM kAma che. A saMskAra mane AvatA vicArone lipibaddha karAvatAM paNa rokato. ne vAMca-pAMca temaja bhaNavA-bhaNAvavAnA cakramAM gothAM khavarAvI ekadezIyatA poSya jato. kannomalajIno paricaya vi. saM. 1963mAM unALAmAM kAzI pAThazALA choDI gujarAta jatAM AgrA UtarelA tyAre jhaverI DAlacaMdajInA moTAbhAI cAMdamalajI, jeo te vakhate bI.e. mAM bhaNatA te amane baMnene potAnA mitra kannomalajI ema.e. pAse laI gayelA. kannomalajI dholapura sTeTanA ghaNuM karI zikSaNa-vibhAganA vaDA adhikArI hatA. ne game te upara hindI patrapatrikAomAM lekho paNa lakhatA. emanuM vAcana vadhAre ane valaNa kAMIka vedAntanuM. emaNe mane jaina mAnyatA viruddha advaitanuM samarthana karatAM eka dalIla kahI ke dvita yA bheda e to Matter - jaDadravyano guNa che, je cetanamAM na hoI zake tethI cetana tattva advaita ja mAnavuM joIe. mane pAchaLathI ema lAgyuM ke kadAca A dalIla svAmI vivekAnaMdanI haze. tethI temanAM lakhANo tarapha mana to vaLeluM ja, paNa svAmI rAmatIrthanAM lakhANo temaja vyaktitva tarapha vizeSa mana nahi gayeluM teno prasaMga have Avyo. amArA mATe kAma karavAnI bhUmikA taiyAra karanArAo paikI DAlacaMdajI tathA cAMdamalajI e be bhAIo paNa hatA. lAlA vaijanAtha dvArA rAmatIrthano paricaya eka vAra prasaMga AvatAM ame AgrA gayelA tyAre cAMdamalajI amane baMnene lAlA vaijanAtha jaja pAse laI gayA. lAlAjI nivRtta jIvana gALatA. ati dUra khetaromAM lIMbaDAo nIce ekAMtamAM beThela e anubhavI pAse besatAM ja huM to avanavA vicAromAM paDI gayo. mArI ane vrajalAlanI adhyayanaviSayaka taiyArI ane juvAnI joI temanI najara amArA baMne upara coMTI ne tarata ja saraLatAthI kahyuM ke tame baMne have kAma karavA iccho cho ne yogya sthAna zodho cho to huM tamane mArI sAthe rAkhavA icchuM chuM. mArI je sagavaDa te ja tamArI ane huM mArI saMpattinA ardha bhAganuM vila tamArA upayoga mATe karIza. zarata eTalI ja ke tamAre hRSIkezamAM jyAM svAmI rAmatIrthano Azrama che tyAM rahevuM, pustakAlaya samRddha karavuM, Agantukone vAcana pUruM pADavuM ne svAmIjInI advaita bhAvanAne mUrta rAkhavI. lAlAjIe ja svAmIjInA smaraNamAM (jyAM gaMgAnA pravAhamAM temaNe samAdhi lIdhelI tyAM) eka Azrama jevuM bAMdhela che. emanI saraLatAthI

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. parIkSAtyAga ane vidyAvistAra * 101 ame baMne prabhAvita thayA ne kahyuM ke vicArIzuM, paraMtu sAthe Avela cAMdalajIne manamAM kadAca eka jAtano bhaya peTho haze ke rakhe ame baMne bIjI dizAmAM vaLIe ne amArA dvArA jaina samAjamAM kAMIka kAma karavAnI temanI pUrvasevita dhAraNA dhULamAM maLe. ame baMne dukkaDa jevA eTale amane lAlAjIno prastAva gaMgAnA bhavyasthAnanI temaja kAyamI sagavaDanI daSTie rucyo, paNa tarata ja amane amArI javAbadArInA bhAge cetavyA. ame chellAM pAMceka varSa thayAM sahAyaka jaina mitrone kahetA ke amAro uddeza jaina samAjane Azrita koI vidyAsaMsthAmAM kAma karavAno che. A rIte ame bIjI bAju taNAtA to rahI gayA, paNa mAruM dhyAna have svAmI rAmatIrthanAM lakhANo vAMcavA tarapha kAMIka DhaLyuM. lAlAjIe amane baMnene temanAthI chUTA paDatI vakhate cetavyA hatA ke, tame vedAnta bhale vAMco, paNa khaMDanakhaMDakhAdya ke advaitasiddhi jevA mAtra khaMDanaparAyaNa granthonI jALamAM na sapaDAtA, paNa ame to emanI cetavaNI pahelAM ja e granthonA AkarSaNamAM paDI cUkyA hatA. lAlAjInI cetavaNIe mArA upara eTalI asara to karI ja ke ukta grantho samajavA ane bhaNAvavAnI ThIka-ThIka taiyArI karI lIdhI chatAM meM AgaLa jatAM adhyayana-adhyApanamAM vizeSa samaya ane zakti na kharacyAM. tema chatAM Aje paNa mane ema lAge che ke jo e grantho samajavAnI zakti keLavI na hota to vidAntavikAsanI chellAmAM chellI bhAratIya bhUmikA ajJAta rahI jAta ne AgaLa jatAM upAdhyAya yazovijayInuM vADumaya samajavA temaja tenA upara lakhavAmAM je saraLatA sAMpaDI te paNa na sAMpaData. adhyApakajIvanano prAraMbha amArA mATe kAmanI bhUmikA taiyAra karanArAomAM mukhya to hatA vijayavallabhasUri. teo lAMbo vakhata paMjAbamAM rahelA ne AryasamAjIonA gurukuLaviSayaka utsAhathI prabhAvita thayelA. temane pahelAMthI ja evo manoratha to uddabhavelo ja ke AryasamAjIonI peThe jainonuM paNa ochAmAM ochuM eka gurukuLa to hovuM ja joIe. teo A viSenA potAnA vicAro potAnA sAdhusaMghamAM ane anuyAyI gRhasthomAM phelAvatA. amArA paricaya pachI temanA vicArane baLa maLyuM. temane thayuM ke sukhalAla ane vrajalAla bhaNI le eTale eka jaina gurukuLa sthApavuM. e jamAnAmAM gurukuLanA vicAra comera vAtAvaraNamAM ramatA. paisA ane samAna vicArako meLavavAnI icchAthI teo muMbaI pahoMcyA hatA. temano muMbaIthI patra Avyo ne vrajalAlajI muMbaI gayA. vallabhavijayajI mahArAjanI salAhathI vrajalAlajIe mane kAzI lakhyuM ke jo tame pasaMda karo to pAlanapura jAo. tyAM vayovRddha haMsavijayajI mahArAja che ane teo tamane icche che. tyAM tamane phAvaze, paNa ItyAdi. huM 1969nA comAsAmAM vrajalAlanA

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102 mAruM jIvanavRtta nAnA bhAI lakSmaNa sAthe pAlanapura pahoMcyo ane vrajalAlajI e comAsAmAM muMbaI ja rahyA, paraMtu e ja vakhate kudaratanA ajJAtapaTanI pAchaLa enA A khelanI bIjI bAjunI taiyArI paNa thaI rahI hatI. ema huM AgaLa jatAM joI zakyo. A rIte mAro kAryAraMbhano sUtrapAta thayo. ne navI ja paristhitimAM mukAyo. zrImAna haMsavijayajI jevA vayovRddha ne prabhAvazALI muni mArI pAse vizeSAvyazakabhASya jevo mahAna grantha vAMce che ne temano ziSya hemacaMdranI bRhaduvRtti zIkhe che e vAta phelAtAM jarAya vAra na lAgI. zrAvako uparAMta zaheranA bIjA zikSita amaladAro zraddhApUrvaka maLavA lAgyA. je sAdhu bhAre vidvAna ane lAgavagavALA hoya te ja moTA paMDitano sapheda hAthI AMgaNe bAMdhI zake evI lokamAnyatAne lIdhe sAdhumaMDaLI temaja teno anuyAyI varga paNa mArA vadhatA jatA mobhAne potAno ja mobho lekhatA ne prasannatA anubhavatA. huM kAzImAM lAMbo vakhata rahI bhaNo ne pagAra lIdhA vinA bhaNAvuM chuM e vastue pAlanapuranA bhoLA lokone mArA pratye vadhAre zraddhALu banAvyA che ema huM joI zakato. zatAvadhAnI ratnacaMdrajIno saMparka sadbhAgye te ja vakhate tyAM zatAvadhAnI ratnacaMdrajI muni paNa comAsu hatA. ratnacaMdrajI sthAnakavAsI paraMparAmAM to potAnI vakatRtA, vidvattA ane avadhAnazaktine lIdhe jANItA hatA ja, paNa e zaktione kAraNe temano prabhAva sAmAnya janavarga upara paNa ThIka paDato. te vakhatanA pAlanapuranA navAba avAranAvara temanuM vyAkhyAna sAMbhaLavA jatA. AkhI sthAnakavAsI AlamamAM jANItA pAlanapuranA mAjI divAna pItAMbara mahetA to kaTTara sthAnakavAsI hatA ne roja ratnacaMdrajInA vyAkhyAnamAM jatA. ratnacaMdrajI pahelethI ja mArA paricita hoI IcchatA ke huM temanI lakhelI kartavya - kaumudI Adi saMskRta kRtio sAMbhaLI jAuM ne sudhArI paNa dauM. meM e kAma karavA saharSa svIkAreluM eTale pItAMbara mahetA jevA mobhAdAra dhaniko ne amaladAro paNa mane maLavA AvatA ane jamavA paNa notaratA. mUrtipUjaka ane sthAnakavAsI baMne vargo Ama to aneka rIte saMkaLAyelA, paNa temanI vacce kAMIka phirakAgata manomAliya paNa kharuM. A kAraNathI huM eka sthAnakavAsI sAdhunA vizeSa paricayamAM AvuM ke sthAnakavAsI sagRhasthonA paricayamAM Ave te bIjA pakSanA rUDhicusta lokone na ruce e svAbhAvika che, paraMtu emAMthI koI potAno aNagamo ke aruci hajI lagI mArI sAme sIdhI rIte pragaTa na karatA. strI ane zAsAvAcanano vivAda bIjI bAju eka bIjuM ja cakra gatimAna thayuM. tyAMnA eka jANItA AgevAna kuTuMbanI vidhavA putravadhU jenuM nAma lADubahena hatuM te mArI pAse bhaNavA icchatAM. e

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parIkSAtyAga ane vidyAvistAra * 103 bahena saMskRta-prAkRta uparAMta thoDo jaina vAya paNa zIkhelAM. meM kahyuM ke tame upAzrayamAM Avo ne huM vizeSAvazyakabhASya bhaNAvuM chuM te sAMbhaLo. temaNe tyAM AvavuM zarU to karyuM paNa e mahArAjazrI temaja rUDhicusta vargane gamyuM nahi. eka to e ke te strI ane temanA jevA moTA vidvAna gaNAtA sAdhu sAthe zAstra zIkhe to sAdhunI mahattA zI rahe! e temano Dara. ne bIjuM e ke mahArAjajIne nahi uThela prazna e bahena pUche to temanI hINapata paNa dekhAya. kAraNa game te ho, paNa lADubahenanA Agamane mahArAjajInI gaMbhIratA choDAvI. temaNe eka vAra mane mRdubhAve kahyuM ke pAThamAM bIjA na Ave to sAruM. meM tarata ja lADubahenane AvavA nA kahI ne kahyuM ke huM sAMje tamArA ghera AvIza. tyAM tamArAM sAsu-sasarA AdinI maMDaLI vacce bhaNAvIza. e krama zarU thayo. emanA sasarA to mUrtipUjaka saMghanA mukhya AgevAna paikI ja hatA. have mahArAjajIne sIdhI rIte kahevApaNuM to rahyuM nahi, paraMtu huM bahenono zAstro bhaNAvuM chuM te emane jarAya gamatuM nahi. keTaloka vakhata mauna rasAkasI cAlyA pachI eka vAra temaNe mane ekAntamAM kahyuM ke bahenone bhaNAvavAM ThIka nahi. pUchyuM, "kAMI paricaya viSe zaMkA che?' temaNe nikhAlasabhAve tarata ja kahyuM, "jarAya nahi. tame to suzIla cho, paNa baheno bhaNI namra thavAne badale uddhatAI zIkhe che ne sAdhuo pratye potAno namra vyavahAra paNa choDI de che." meM kahyuM, huM evuM kAMI joto nathI. ane e bahena to hadathI vadhAre namra che. tyAM ja vAta hatI. paNa dhIre dhIre A bInA muMbaI pahoMcI. tyAM vallabhavijaya mahArAja sAme UhApoha zarU thayo haze, paNa teo sIdhI rIte mane kazuM ja kahI zake tema hatuM nahi. ane vadhArAmAM bahenanuM kuTuMba to vallabhavijaya mahArAjanuM khAsa anuyAyI hatuM. vAta caDase caDI. meM pachI to keTalAya zrAvakone nirbhayapaNe kahI dIdhuM ke, jo yogya koI DheDhabhaMgI ke baheno bhaNavA Avaze ne vadhAre vakhatanI jarUra haze to huM sAdhuone bhaNAvavAnuM choDI daIne paNa temane bhaNAvIza. mArA A valaNathI mArI sAme to koI kAMI kahevAnI hiMmata karatuM ja nahi, paNa aMdara aMdara keTalAka loko dhaMdhavAtA. jema tema rasAkasInA AnaMdamAM divALI AvI ne huM muMbaI gayo. mane sAttvana ApavA vallabhavijayajI mahArAje kahyuM ke thoDA divasa bAkI che. kuzaLatAthI saMbhALI lo. e to jUnI DhabanA kahevAya. navo yuga kayAM jANe che ! ItyAdi. sAdhuone sAme cAlI na bhaNAvavA nirNaya meM pAlanapura AvI bAkInA bAreka divasa vyatIta karyA. ne tyAM ja saMkalpa karyo ke have game teTalI chUTa ne sagavaDa maLe toya sAdhu vargane sAme moDhe cAlI bhaNAvavA na javuM, paNa jo teo mArI zarate mArA sthAne bhaNavA Ave to temane saMpUrNa Adara

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104 7 mAruM jIvanavRtta ane utsAhathI bhaNAvavA. saMghe mAnapatra sAthe kImatI duzAlo ane rezamI dupaTTA laI kadI vA52vAno nathI. chatAM laIza kharo, paNa te tarata ja bIjA game tene ApI daIza. sAdhu varganI icchA evI hatI ke huM ja tene vAparuM eTale e badho vidhi mAtra vicAramAM ja rahI gayo ane lakhela mAnapatra paNa lakheluM ja rahI gayuM. huM sauhArdapUrvaka sAdhumaMDaLa ne pAlanapurathI chUTo paDI sIdho dezamAM gayo. AgrAmAM zrIlabdhivijyajIno saMparka gurukuLanI vicArAtI yojanA sthirarUpa na le tyAM lagI AgrA ja kendra rahe ema ame vicArI rAkheluM tethI huM dezamAMthI AgrA gayo. AgrAmAM AvI meM nAnAvidha pravRttio zarU karI. vacce vacce bhASaNa ke bIje nimitte dilhI javAnuM banatuM. tyAM muni labdhivijayajI hatA. temano paricaya to pahelAMthI ja hato. teo sArA vaktA ane jozIlA paNa kharA. temanI icchA hatI ke huM temane bhaNAvavA dilhI jAuM, paNa meM mArA pUrva saMkalpa pramANe temane kahyuM ke meM to mArA kendrasthAne bhaNavA Ave tene ja bhaNAvavAno nirdhAra karyo che ityAdi. badhI lAlaco ApyA chatAM jyAre temaNe mAro nizcaya pAko joyo tyAre teo AgrA AvyA ne mArI pAse ratnAkarAvatArikA saMpUrNapaNe bhaNI dilhI comAsu cAlyA gayA. labdhivijayajI sAthenA be-traNa mahinAnA nikaTa paricaye paNa sAdhuonI savRtti viSenI mArI pahelethI cAlI AvatI zaMkA kAMIka vadhAre puSTa karI. emaNe mArI mojUdagImAM eka chokarAne sikaMdarAbAda (ji. bulandazahara)mAM dIkSA ApI hatI, paNa AgrAmAM temaNe hada vALI. koI rakhaDu jevo eka mANasa hAthamAM paDatAM tenI yogyatA - adhikAra vagere kazuM ja joyA sivAya be-cAra divasanA paricayamAM ja tene dIkSA ApI dIdhI. meM ane bIjA mitroe temane cetavyA hatA, paNa ziSyalobha khALI zakyA nahi. e mahAzaya bIje ja divase kapaDAM vagere laI rAte ja gupacupa palAyana karI gayA. labdhivijayajIe beeka divasa to vAta chupAvI, paNa navadIkSita sAdhu kyAM che ? evA zrAvakonA praznane hamezAM zI rIte khALI zake ? mane eka vAra DaratAM DaratAM bInA kahI, ne pUchyuM ke zrAvakone javAba zo Apavo ? meM kahyuM ke kahI devuM ke pUchyA vinA bIje divase cAlyo gayo. emane dIkSA mATe kharca karanAra temaja bIjA sudhAraka baMneno Dara hato tethI kAMIka bhaLato ja uttara ApavA viSe mArI salAha pUchI. meM kahyuM, tamane Dara zA mATe ? AvI najIvI bAbatamAM jUThuM bolavAno vicAra kema Ave che ? ityAdi. huM dhAruM chuM tyAra bAda ame baMne kyAreya maLyA nathI. joke ghaNe sthaLe maLI zakAya evA prasaMgo AvelA.

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16. mahesANA ane vIramagAma pAThazALAmAM e ja vi. saM. 1970nA varSanA unALAmAM muMbaIthI zeTha hemacaMda amaracaMde karela eka tAra AgrAmAM maLyo, jemAM lakheluM ke pahelI ja Trene ravAnA thAo. bhADAnA rUpiyA paNa tArathI mokalelA. huM aNadhArI rIte tAra AvavAthI navAI to pAmyo, paNa eTaluM to nyAyazAstranA baLe kaLI gayo ke hemacaMdabhAI vijayavallabhasUrinA anuyAyI che mATe mahArAjajInI preraNAthI ja tAra karavAmAM Avelo hovo joIe. muMbaI pahoMcyo. mAruM anumAna sAcuM TharyuM. prophesa2 harmana yAkobI te vakhate hindustAnamAM bhramaNa karI svadezamAM pAchA javA taiyAra hatA ne muMbaI AvelA. mahArAjajInI icchA evI ke mane yAkobI sAthe meLavavo, paNa temanI mukhya icchA to bIjI ja hatI. e paNa jaNAI AvyuM. temaNe mane pUchyuM ke huM muMbaIthI keTalAka mArA ziSyone mahesANA tarata ja ravAnA karuM to tame A ja varSanA comAsAmAM temane bhaNAvavA mahesANA jazo ? meM kendra choDI kyAMya sAme jaI na bhaNAvavAnA mArA nirdhAra viSe temaja e nirdhAranAM kA2No viSe khulAso karyo. temaNe kahyuM, tamArI vAta to sAcI che, paNa tamArA svAtaMtryamAM ADo Ave evo eka paNa ApaNo sAdhu nathI. tamane jeTaluM svAtaMtrya AgrAmAM teTaluM ja mahesANAmAM rahevAnuM. vaLI tame bhaNavA icchanAra mArA A ekeka ziSyane jANo cho. teo jUnI ghareDanA nathI, ityAdi. meM mAro uparyukta nirdhAra moLo karI mahesANA javAnI 'hA' pADI, 'hA'nI pAchaLa ne nirdhAra badalavAnI pAchaLa mArAM mukhya kAraNo A hatAM : 1. mahesANAmAM lAMbA vakhatathI cAlatI yazovijaya pAThazALAmAM jAte rahevAnI taka maLe che to teno lAbha laI tyAMnA vAtAvaraNa temaja vidyArthI, adhyApaka vagereno paricaya sAdhavo. 2. mahesANA gujarAtanuM madhyavartI temaja jaina sAdhuonuM kendra hovAthI e jovuM ke tyAM rahI kAma karavAnI kevI anukULatA che ? temaja bIjA koI suyogya sAdhuo mAtra vidyAvRttithI prerAI bhaNavA ekatra thAya che ke nahi ? 3. u52nAM kAraNo karatAMya vadhAre preka kAraNa to e hatuM ke tyAM mahArAja zrI jinavijayajI paNa comAsAmAM bhaNavA AvavAnA hatA. atyAra lagI emanI sAthe

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106 7 mAruM jIvanavRtta mAro koI sAkSAt paricaya thayo ja na hato, paNa gayA comAsAmAM pAlanapura hato tyAre temanI sAthe pATaNamAM patravyavahAra thayelo. ne pAlanapura rahyA rahyA ja temanA vyaktitva viSe keTaluMka sAMbhaLeluM. tethI temano viziSTa paricaya sAdhavAnI taka maLatI hatI.. paMjAbamAM prabhutvano prazna mane muMbaI ekAeka bolAvyo. potAnA ziSyone satva2 mahesANA ravAnA karyA. mane mahesANA javA samajAvyo. A ghaTanAnI pAchaLa kAMI bIjuM rahasya che ke nahi ? evo prazna mane AvyA ja karato. meM enuM je samAdhAna ApameLe karI lIdheluM teno nirdeza e dRSTithI karuM chuM ke sAdhuonA arasaparasanA vyavahAra viSenA itihAsa upara kAMIka prakAza paDe. vallabhavijayajI mahArAja hatA to gujarAtamAM, paNa paMjAbamAM temanuM ekAdhipatya hatuM ja. temanI gerahAjarI daramiyAna muni labdhivijyajIe e ekAdhipatyamAM kAMIka gAbaDuM pADeluM. labdhivijayajI yuvAna ane AkarSaka vaktA paNa kharA. vallabhavijyajI ane labdhivijyajI baMne eka ja saMghADAnA chatAM baMnemAM saumanasya nahi. labdhivijayajI potAnA guru vijayakamalasUrinA prabhAvano ne potAnI zaktino upayoga karI vallabhavijayajI mahArAjanI ekachatrI sattAne nabaLI pADavAnI badhI tako zodhyA kare. vallabhavijyajI mahArAja paNa evA vicakSaNa ke evI takonI bAtamI maLe tevAM sUtro paNa goThave ne bAtamI maLatAM cANakyanI cakoratAthI pahoMcI vaLavAnI khaTapaTa paNa kare. vijayavallabha mahArAja gujarAtamAM ja hoya ne pAchaLathI labdhivijyajI paMjAbamAM vadhAre prabhAva jamAvI le evI sthiti AvI gaI hatI. daramiyAna mAro ane labdhivijayajIno mAtra paricaya ja na vadhyo, paNa teo sAme cAlI mArI pAse AgrA bhaNavA paNa AvyA. A uparathI vallabhaviya mahArAjane ema thayuM hovuM joIe ke, sukhalAla bhaNAvavAmAM AgaLa to vadhela che ApaNA prayatnathI ne have pADyuM phLa jAya che bIjAnA hAthamAM. prAmANikapaNAnI dRSTie labdhivijayajI tarapha mAruM jarAya AkarSaNa na hatuM, paNa e vastu kAMI vallabhavijayajI mahArAja thoDI jANatA ? eTale temane amArA baMnenA punaH punaH milana ane paricayathI saMdeha thAya e svAbhAvika hatuM. mane spaSTa dekhAyuM ke AvA koI saMdehe ja temane navuM parivartana karavA preryA che. AgaLa jatAM vallabhavijyajI ane labdhivijyajI vacce kadI na sAMdhI zakAya evuM je aMtara paDyuM teNe mArI ukta dhAraNAnI puSTi ja karI che. game te hoya, paNa mane to upara jaNAvelAM kAraNone aMge paNa mahesANA javuM ne rahevuM iSTa hatuM. vidyArthIo savAra ane bapora maLI lagabhaga sAteka kalAka to sAdhuone judA judA viSayo zIkhavato. zIkhanAra ane vAMcanAramAM atyAre hayAta che emAMthI be nAma sUcavI zakuM.

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mahesANA ane viramagAma pAThazALAmAM * 107 lalitavijayajI, je sUri che ne jinavijayajI, je bhAratIya vidyAbhavananA AcArya che te. mane bhaNAvavAno ja ekamAtra rasa ne juvAnI eTale divasanA bhAga uparAMta rAte paNa zIkhavato. rAte zIkhanAramAM mukhya bhagavAnadAsa, je Aje paMDita bhagavAnadAsa tarIke amadAvAdamAM jANItA che. te ane temanA sAthI mitra hIrAcaMdra baMne divase cAlatA kAvya-nATaka-caMpU AdinA pAThomAM yathAsaMbhava bhAga letA, paNa bhagavAnadAsane to mukhyapaNe kAMIka bIjuM ja zIkhavuM hatuM. tethI emane vAste meM rAtre svataMtra pUro samaya rAkhelo. bhagavAnadAsa kAvyaprakAza, ratnAkarAvatArikA vagere bhaNyAnuM yAda che; paNa A bhaNavA-bhaNAvavAno saMbaMdha eTale sudhI AgaLa vadhyo ke Aja lagI teNe eka gADhI ane nikhAlasa mitratAnuM rUpa dhAraNa kareluM che. huM mahesANA rahyo tethI ja bhagavAnadAsa mahesANA bhaNavA AvI rahelA. ne ame baMne sAthe besatA, jamatA, pharatA ne sUtA. bIjA paNa vidyArthIo hatA eTale amAruM dhAma eka vidyAdhAma banI rahetuM. sAMje jamIne pharavA jaIe, ne juvAnInI caLa Ave to kyAreka kyAreka vagara tAlIma ane vagara akhADe paNa gAmathI dUradUra veLamAM huM ane bhagavAnadAsa mAtra eka ja dRSTithI kustI karIe ke koNa bIjAne catto karI zake che? mAre kahevuM joIe ke, emAM huM na phAvato. prekSaka vidyArthIo ethI hasatA, paNa tethI mArI Ijjata temanA vacce ghaTavAne badale vadhatI - meM joyelI. A bInA sAdhuoe jANI tyAre temAMthI ekAda jinavijayajI jevAne amArI kustI jovAnuM kutUhala paNa thayeluM. kharI rIte e divaso satyayuganA hatA ema kahI zakAya. comAsuM pUruM thayuM. judA judA sAdhuonA kaTuka-madhura anubhavo thayA. lalitavijayajInI ati bhIruvRttinuM temaja jinavijayajInI utkaTa vIravRttinuM bhAna paNa thayuM. comAsA pachIno kAryakrama zo? e prazna Avyo. pAse bhaNatA ane vihAra karatA sAdhuone meM kahI dIdhuM ke huM sAthe cAlavAno ke anyatra javAno nathI. ahIM rahI zIkhavuM hoya to zIkhI zako, ItyAdi. meM, zrI jinavijayajI ne bhagavAnadAse maLI nakkI karyuM ke ApaNe to mahesANA ja rahevuM ne adhyayana-cakra cAlu rAkhavuM. ame ziyALo mahesANe vyatIta karyo. te daramiyAna prabhudAsa pArekha, je Aje mahesANA pAThazALAnA adhiSThAtA che te paNa mArI pAse bhaNavA AvI gayA. AnaMdasAgarajI mahArAja, je Aje sUri che te potAnA sahodara bhAI ne muni maNivijayajI sAthe tyAM AvyA. temaNe tyAM AvI Agamavacano zarU karavAno vicAra karyo ne temAM AvavA sAdhuone sarvatra AmaMtraNa mokalyAM. AnaMdasAgarajI ane maNivijayajI sAthe A vakhate mAro prathama ja paricaya sadhAyo. ne tenAM mULa kAMIka UMDe naMkhAyAM. mahesANAnI yazovijayajI pAThazALAnA sthApaka ne sUtradhAra zeTha veNIcaMda sUracaMdanI evI prabaLa IcchA hatI ke huM mahesANAne kAyama vAsasthAna banAvuM ne yazovijaya pAThazALAnuM zikSaNataMtra hAthamAM lauM. e vayovRddha

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108 * mAruM jIvanavRtta tapasvInI icchAne mAna ApavAnI ne pAThazALAmAM keTalI pragatinI zakyatA che e jovAnI paNa A vakhate taka maLI. veNIcaMdabhAI temaja temanuM AkhuM taMtra eTaluM badhuM sAMpradAyika, ekadezIya ane jaDa lAgyuM ke tyAMthI satvara mukti meLavavAnuM ja mana thayuM. mahesANA choDI AgrA jAuM to bhagavAnadAsa vagere mitro sAthe cAlI zake tema na hovAthI temanuM adhyayana baMdha paDe tema hatuM. koI paNa hisAbe temanuM adhyayana cAlu rAkhavuM evI mArI vRtti kharI. te badhA bhAIo mane buddhi ane vRttinI dRSTie yogya jaNAyelA hatA eTale temanA pratye mAruM AkarSaNa vadhyuM hatuM. vIramagAma pAThazALAmAM aNadhAryuM AmaMtraNa vIramagAmathI AvyuM. tyAM eka gRhastha pAThazALA calAvatA, paNa yogya adhyApaka na maLe. mane teo ane huM temane jANato. bhagavAnadAsa vagere mitrono vIramagAma sAthe nikaTa saMbaMdha eTale temaNe paNa mane vIramagAma AvavA samajAvyo. have amAruM dhAma vIramagAma banyuM. bhagavanadAsa, prabhudAsa ane hIrAcaMda uparAMta bIjA traNeka vidyArthIo hatA. kAzIthI TrenamAM pravAsa karI janAra mohanavijyajI paNa tyAM AvyA. huM kAzI jaina pAThazALA pahelavahelo gayo tyAre vIramagAmamAMnI pAThazALAnI oNphisamAM eka jaTAzaMkara paMDite mArI parIkSA lIdhelI. te ja jaTAzaMkara paMDita paNa have vIramagAmamAM mArI pAse bhaNavA AvatA. Ama mahesANAmAM hatuM tevuM vidyA-vAtAvaraNa vyApArapradhAna vIramagAmanA bajAra vacce jAmyuM. mitro ane paricito vadhatA cAlyA. sakhata garamImAM paNa sakhata adhyayana-adhyApana ekasarakhuM cAlatuM. mahesANAmAM baMdhAyelI ane gADha thayelI mitratAe zrI jinavijayajIne paNa vIramagAma kheMcI lIdhA.

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17. AbunI yAtrA ane pATaNamAM praveza AbuyAtrAnA kaTu anubhavo mahenatanI hada hoya che. ciMtana-manana ne adhyApananA vadhAre paDatA bhAre mArI tabiyata upara asara karI ane chAtI duHkhavA maMDI. mitro sAthe vicAra karI paMkhIo mALAmAMthI UDI jAya tema ame Abu bhaNI UDyA. sakhata unALo ne ame sAteka jaNa. te vakhate moTara sarvisa na hatI. baLadagADI ne ghoDAgADI Abu upara jatAM. ame khareDIthI baLadagADI karI. badhAMne baLadagADI soMpI huM vaDhavANavALA popaTalAla sukhalAla, je kaoNlejiyana che ane rakhaDatA rAma tarIke jANItA che te - baMne pagapALA cAlyA. rastAmAM eka ajANyA DabhoInA yAtrIno paNa sAtha thayo. traNee jozabhera pahADa upara caDavuM zarU karyuM. samaya rAtanA ATheka vAgyAno. unALAnI behada garamI. sAMje jamelA paNa evuM kAMIka miSTAna. ane DahApaNa e kareluM ke sAthe pANI pIvAno loTo paNa lIdhelo nahi. mAIka cAlyA tyAM kAzImAM paricita thayelA zivajI devazI pahADa uparathI UtarI AvatAM bheTyA ne rAmarAma sAthe pUrvasmaraNo tAjA karI AgaLa vadhyA ne tRSA paNa AgaLa vadhatI cAlI. rAta, loTo nahi, ne paraba paNa na joyuM, paraMtu pAchaLa AvatI belagADI tarapha cAlavAne badale AzAmAM ne AzAmAM ame AgaLa cAlyA. saddabhAgye parabaDI AvI. tyAM pANInAM mATalAMya kharAM, paNa pANI pAnAra na maLe. tarase ne jijIviSAe kahyuM ke bahu rAha jovAnI na hoya. ame ApameLe ja tyAM paDela DabalAmAM pANI bharI pIdhuM. tRSAnI zAMti thaI - na thaI tyAM to pANI pAnAra AvI pahoMcyo. ame ApameLe tenI gerahAjarImAM pANI pIdhuM che e vAta jANatAM ja te cokAbAja yuropiyananA prakopano pAro caDyo. tame badhuM vaTalAvyuM. have bIjA mATe pANI kayAMthI lAvavuM ityAdi aneka kaDavI vAto eNe saMbhaLAvI. meM thoDI vAra to dhIraja rAkhI. ene samajAvyo paNa kharo ke tAruM pANI asvaccha thayuM nathI ne tuM kyAre AvIza ne ahIM koI pAnAra che ke nahi tenI amane khabara ja na hatI. jyAre ame jaina chIe evI ene khabara paDI tyAre to enA prakope mAjhA mUkI. aMgrejI bolavAno kImiyo jANatA hota to te ajamAvI tene rUAbathI dabAvata. kemake mane evo anubhava hato ke e jamAnAmAM koI aMgrejI bolanAra hoya to tenI sAme abhaNa

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110 mAruM jIvanavRtta mANasa A koI moTo mANasa haze ema samajI dabAI jato. chevaTe meM jAtibheda viSenA keTalAka saMskRta zloko ema dhArIne enI sAme pheMkayA ke jo A brAhmaNa haze to tene sarasvatI jItI leze, paNa emAM saphaLatA bahu na maLI. tyAre enI gALo khAtAM khAtAM ja enAthI chUTA paDyA. popaTalAla thoDuM AgaLa cAlI belagADInI rAha jovA lAgyA. eTale meM ane bIjA sAthI bhAIe emane paDatA mUkI AgaLa prayANa cAlu rAkhyuM. ATheka mAIla cAlyA hoIzuM tyAM pharI tRSAe darzana dIdhAM. rAta gayelI ne paraba kyAMya maLe nahi. tRSA AgaLa cAlatAM roke, paNa AgaLa cAlyA sivAya tRSA zAMti mATe bIjo koI rasto ja na hato. thoDeka dUra pahoMcyA tyAM eka raste pANI chAMTavAnI myunisipAliTInI gADI paDelI. enA upara TAMkI jaDelI hatI. joyuM to yaMkImAM pANI bahu UMDe, cakalIthI nIkaLe tema hatuM nahi. TAMkInA moDhA karatAM amAruM kada moTuM eTale aMdara UtarAya tema paNa na hatuM. chevaTe bahu vAMkA vaLI eka hAthanI hatheLIthI kAMIka pANI pIdhuM tyAM to bIjo rasto sUjI Avyo. dhotiyAno cheDo palALI tene nicovI amRtAnubhava lIdho ane sAme paDela becAra paththara upara lAMbA thaI thoDI vAra ArAma karyo. rAtanI vadhatI jatI pahADI ThaMDaka ne pANI pIvAthI Avela cetanAe AgaLa cAlavA preryo. lagabhaga soLame mAIla pahoMcyA tyAM to sAva thAkI lotha thaI gayelA. ATalI lAMbI pagamusApharI jIvanamAM pahelI ja hatI. najIkamAM eka pharatI ghaMTI ane tenI sAthe gAtI eka bAIno avAja saMbhaLAyo. ame te bhaNI vaLyA. joyuM to e bhIlanuM jhUMpaDuM hatuM ane bhIlaDI daLatI hatI. e amArI vAta na samajI ane ame enuM kahevuM na samajyA, paNa enA AMgaNamAM ja jamIna para dhAmA nAMkhI sUI gayA. huM evo ghasaghasATa UMghI gayo ke jIvajaMtunA caTakA bahu asara karI zakayA nahi. savAre naveka vAgye parANe UThyo. rAha jotA hatA tyAM to baLadagADI AvI pahoMcI. peTanI pUrI pUjA karI thAka chatAMya bAkI rahelA be mAIla kApavA AgaLa vadhyA. te vakhate tyAMthI delavADA javAno eTalo rasto kAco hato. delavADA jaina dharmazALAmAM paDAva karyo. tyAMnAM maMdiro ane acaLagaDhanAM maMdiromAM darzana-pUjana karavAno mArA mATe A bIjo prasaMga hato. jyAre sAthIo mATe pahelo ja prasaMga hato. sAnaMda bhramaNamAM saptAha vyatIta karI ame pAchA pharyA, ne amadAvAda pahoMcyA. prarvatakazrI kAMtivijayajI sAthe pATaNamAM amadAvAda pahoMcyA pachI huM AgaLano kAryakrama nakkI karavAno hato tyAM to aNadhAryo ja eka patra Avyo. e patra kAliyAvADathI Avelo. huM navasArI sTezanathI kAliyAvADa gayo ne patra lakhanAra vallabhavijaya mahArAjane maLyo. emaNe mane kahyuM ke tame pATaNa jazo? tyAM pravartaka kAMtivijayajI che. ane e tamane bahu cAhe che. emano svabhAva evo che ke tamane taddana pasaMda Avaze. chevaTe temane tame eka vAra

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AbunI yAtrA ane pATaNamAM praveza * 111 maLI to Avo, ItyAdi. huM pATaNa gayo ane pravartakajIne maLyo. temanI ane temanA ziSya muni caturavijayajInI taddana nikhAlasa vAta sAMbhaLIne meM atyAra lagImAM sAdhuo viSe baMdhAyela pUrvagrahane bAjue mUkI pATaNa rahevA nakkI karyuM. mArA vicAranI A trIjI bhUmikA hatI. eTalI bhUmikAmAM potAne ja sthAne AvanAra sAdhuone bhaNAvavAno nirdhAra hato. bIjI bhUmikAmAM mahesANAnI jaina pAThazALAne udAra ne ucca dhoraNa upara laI jaI te dvArA gujarAtamAM ja zAstrIya zikSaNa pracAravAno uddeza hato. A trIjI bhUmikAmAM to pravartakajInA ziSya-praziSyane bhaNAvavAno uddeza hato. saMkIrNa manovRttinA sAdhusamAjano ThIka ThIka paricaya thayA chatAM meM pravartakajI pAse rahevAnuM nakkI karyuM. tenAM sabaLa kAraNo A hatAM - 1. huM kAzImAM gayo tyArathI ja meM mArA adhyApaka aMbAdatta zAstrInA moDhethI pravartakajI viSe anekavAra sAMbhaLeluM hatuM ke, meM gujarAtamAM ane ahIM jeTalA sAdhuo joyA che temAM koI udAra ane sajjana vadhAre hoya to te kAntivijayajI che. e ja pramANe muMbaIthI vidAya thatI vakhate harmana yAkobIe eka meLAvaDAmAM ema kaheluM ke, meM ghaNA sAdhuono paricaya karyo, paNa temAM kAntivijayajIe mAruM dhyAna vadhAre khecyuM che. 2. pravartakajInI AvI taTastha prazaMsA sAMbhaLyA uparAMta zrImAna jinavijayajIno paNa temanA vize tevo ja abhiprAya hato ke A vakhate teo pote paNa pravartakajInI sAthe rahevAnA hatA. 3 gujarAtanA madhyakAlIna itihAsanuM tema ja jainaparaMparAnI eka vakhatanI jAhojalAlInuM kendra pATaNa eTale tyAM rahI tyAMnA vizvavikhyAta jainabhaMDAro viSe vadhAre jANavAnI ne hemacaMdra mUkelA avazeSono paricaya sAdhavAnI prabaLa vRtti paNa hatI. saMzodhanano anubhava, AgamavAcanA ane gItArahasya pATaNa rahyo ne tyAM pAMcasAta vidyArthIonuM maMDaLa paNa sAthe rahyuM. bhaNanAra to mukhyapaNe be ja kahevAya. munizrI caturavijayajI ane temanA ziSya munizrI puNyavijayajI, bhaNAvavAmAM traNeka kalAka jatA, paNa A vakhate eka navIna ja dizAmAM mAruM prasthAna thayuM. atyAra lagI bhaNanAra bhaNatA kharA, paNa sAthe sAthe jUnI kAgaLanI ke tADapatranI pratio rAkhI pAThyapustakanuM saMzodhana koI na karatA. jyAre munizrI caturavijayajI ane puNyavijayajI aneka tADapatranI ane kAgaLanI prato rAkhI pAThyapustaka bhaNatA ne pratione tema ja mArI kalpanAone AdhAre yathocita pAThanuM saMzodhana paNa karye jatA. zarUAtamAM adhyayananI gati mane maMda lAgI, paNa anubhave ema lAgyuM ke pAThyapustaka jo zuddha na hoya ne zuddha karavuM hoya to mAtra kalpanAne AdhAre zuddha karavAno paMDitA mArga vaijJAnika nathI. likhita prationo Azraya levAno

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112 * mAruM jIvanavRtta ne te dvArA granthakAranA hRdayamAM praveza karavAno mAre mATe A prathama ja avasara hato. je AgaLa jatAM mane moTAM kAma karavAmAM bahu upayogI siddha thayo. pATaNamAM mukhyapaNe kAvyAnuzAsana ne tilakamaMjarI - be ja grantho cAlyA. e baMnene zuddha paNa karyAM, paraMtu A sivAyano bIjo badho samaya upayogI pravRttimAM ja vItyo. e comAsAmAM AnaMdasAgarajI puSkaLa sAdhusamAja sAthe pATaNamAM AvI rahelA ne AgamanuM vAcana tema ja mudraNa baMne temaNe sAthe zarU karelAM. huM lagabhaga roja temane maLato. teo mane khUba cAhatA. temanA kahevAthI huM temanA eka ziSya mANekasAgarane nyAyazAstra bhaNAvato paNa kharo, paraMtu e ja arasAmAM prasiddha thayela tilakanuM marAThI 'gItArahasya' pATaNamAM rahIM jovA lAgyo. marAThI bhASA jANato nahi, paNa viSayapiracayane lIdhe AgaLa calAvye ja rAkhyuM. vacce keTalIka vAra zrImAna jinavijayajInI madada paNa jarUra leto. chellI vAra tilaka jelamAM gayA tyArathI ja temanA pratye AkarSaNa vadheluM. jelamAM lakhAyela gItArahasya grantha prasiddha thaI hAthamAM Avyo eTale have tenA gujarAtI bhASAMtaranI rAha jovA jeTalI dhI2ja rahI nahi ne e sAruM ja thayuM. pATaNamAM e paNa lAbha thayo ke ghaNo aitihAsika paricaya vadhyo, jaina samAjanA UMDA hArda sudhI pahoMcavAno avasara maLyo ne sAdhugaNamAM bhajavAtAM kSudratAnAM nATako jovAnI paNa taka maLI. AnaMdasAgarajI mahArAja jeTalA parizramI ane vidvAna, teTalA ja haThI. emanA sagA bhAI munizrI maNivijayajI sAthe najIvI bAbata mATe vAMdho paDatAM baMne vacce rasAkasI jAmI ne enuM paryavasAna saMvatsarI jevA dharmaparvane divase maNivijayajInA ziSya upara hAtha calAvavAmAM AvyuM. e badhuM game tema cAlatuM, paNa pravartakajInuM AkhuM maMDaLa tethI sAva taTastha ane alipta hatuM. emane AgamavAcanA temaja te nimitte ekatra thayela sAdhusamAja sAthe saMbaMdha na hato. e badhuM mane bhAvatuM ja thayuM. saMgItano rasa pATaNamAM TreniMga kaoNlejanA prinsipAla paMDyA hatA. te gAyakavADa sarakAra taraphathI videzamAM jaI AvelA ne bahu namra hatA. e varSe pATaNamAM duSkALa hato eTale duSkALamAM bhUkhe maratAM pazuone bacAvavAno eka prayatna zarU thayelo. te nimitte prinsipAla paMDyA sAthe mAro saMparka vadhyo ne te uttarottara madhura banato gayo. temanI pAsethI je videzanI keLavaNI saMbaMdhI thoDI mAhitI maLI teNe mArI jijJAsAvRtti sateja banAvI. mahArASTrIya harikIrtanoe, AryasamAjanI bhajanamaMDaLIoene mitra vrajalAlajInA satAranA abhyAse saMgIta zIkhavAnI icchAnAM bIja to mArA manamAM pahelethI ja ropyAM hatAM. paNa ene poSavAnI taka pATaNamAM lAdhI. eka saMgItazikSaka zodhyo. te brAhmaNa hoI saMskRta bhaNavA icchato eTale 'jhathavA vidyAyA vidyA (manusmRti)' - e krama pramANe tene saMskRta zIkhavato ane tenI pAse hArmoniyama zIkhato. hAthe vagADavAnuM hArmoniyama

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AbunI yAtrA ane pATaNamAM praveza * 113 kharIdyuM paNa kharuM, paraMtu pATaNa rahyo te daramiyAna emAM vizeSa siddhi na maLI ne pATaNa choDyuM tyAre vAjuM paNa chUTI ja gayuM. pATaNamAM gAma bahAra jaina borDiMganA eka judA khAlI makAnamAM huM raheto. tyAMthI sarasvatInA nirjaLa paTamAM roja savAre javuM ne tyAM sAthe sAthe retImAM doDavuM e jIvanakrama hato. pATaNamAM ghaNI vizeSatAono citravicitra anubhava thayo. jeTalAM ghI-dUdha ne anAja cokhkhAM temaja sulabha teTalI ja tyAM gaMdakI vadhAre. jeTalAM maMdiro ane upAzrayo vadhAre teTalAM ja taDAM vadhAre. jeTalI saMpatti ane sAdhubhakti teTalI ja saMkucitatA vadhAre. A badhuM chatAM sauthI vadhAre tAjuM smaraNa rahe evI be vastuo mukhya che - tyAMnI havA ane tenuM pANI.

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18. kezariyAjInI yAtrAe tAraMgA ane IDara comAsA bAda zuM karavuM? e prazna Ave te pahelAM to jANe prakRtie ja mAre mATe yojanA taiyAra karI na hoya tevI sthiti AvI. eka saMgha kezariyAjI pagaraste javAno hato. emAM pravartakajInuM sthAna mukhya hatuM. zarUAtamAM to meM adhyayanamAM khalela paDavAnA bhayathI saMghamAM javA nA pADI, paNa jyAre mane mAluma paDyuM ke, pagaraste javAmAM ghaNA viziSTa sthAno Ave che ane bIjA paNa ghaNA prAkRtika AnaMdo sulabha che tyAre huM paNa saMghamAM javA rAjI thayo. alabatta, pravartakajInI vyavahArakuzaLatAne lIdhe mAre mATe svataMtra sagavaDa thaI zakI hatI. saMghapatie eka svataMtra belagADI taMbu sAthe mAre mATe rokelI. huM, be vidyArthIo ne eka rasoiyo ema amArA cAra jaNanI maMDaLI svataMtra. moTe bhAge huM pagapALA ja cAlato. gADImAM bhAgye ja amArAmAMthI koI besatuM. tethI jenI koI bahu saMbhALa na le evI becAra bahenono sAmAna mArI gADImAM mUkyA meM chUTa ApelI. cArUpa tIrtha gayuM ne tAraMgA AvyuM. tyAMnA kumArapALe karAvela batrIsa mALanA maMdira viSe vAMceluM. tethI tene sparzavAnI jijJAsA to hatI ja. nisaraNIe caDI ati ucca pratimAnI pUjA to karI ja, paNa e batrIsa mALA' kahevAtA maMdiranA traNeka mALa sudhI gUMgaLAIne caDavA yatna paNa karyo. tAraMgAnI peThe IDaranA gaDha upara paNa caDyA. zrImada rAmacaMdranA dhyAnasthAna tarIke oLakhAtI guphAmAM paNa gayo. IDaranA dUra dUra sudhI laMbAyela AMbA-AmalIvALA rastA upara, cAlatI vakhate "IDara AMbA AMbalI re evuM koI jUnuM padya smRtipaTamAM AvyA vinA na rahyuM. kezariyAjI pahoMcatAM sudhImAM banela banAvomAMthI je Aje paNa mArI smRtimAM tAdaza che ane je dharma, samAja ane bhUtadayAnI dRSTie vicAraNIya che te traNa banAvono ullekha atre iSTa che. IDaranA bhaTTAraka IDarathI AgaLa posInA gAme saMghe paDAva nAMkhyo hato. huM saMghamAM chuM tevI jANa digambara bhaTTArakane thaI eTale temaNe mane bolAvyo. A bhaTTAraka IDaranI gAdIe hatA. meM emane na oLakhyA, paNa potAnI jUnI oLakhANa ApI teo mane ekAntamAM

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kezariyAjInI yAtrAe * 115 laI gayA. teo kahe - kAzImAM motIlAla brahmacArI tamane maLatA te yAda che? huM badhuM samajI gayo. bhaTTAraka gaLagaLA thaI mane kahevA lAgyA ke, huM Aje sakhata keda bhogavI rahyo chuM. tame mane kAzImAM kaheluM ke, bhaTTArakanI gAdInA vArasadAra thavuM sAruM nathI, e bhAre paDaze. tamAruM A kathana Aje sAcuM paDayuM che. tyAM huM pAkuM adhora anAja saheje khAto, akhADAmAM vyAyAma karato ne chUTathI pharato. ahIM to mArI sthiti have e thaI che ke AkhA divasamAM bhAgye ja adhazera dUdha pacAvI zakuM chuM. ema kahI temaNe potAnA atikRza hAtha mane batAvyA. vaLI teo kahe ke akhADA ane kasaratanI vAta to eka kora rahI, paNa huM page cAlIne ekalo kayAMya pharavA jAuM temAMya zrAvakone dharmanI hINapata lAge che. copadAra ane nekIdAra sAthe pAlakhImAM besIne jyAM tyAM javuM emAM ja zrAvakone dharmano prabhAva dekhAya che. gheraghera padharAmaNI thAya ane gInInI bheTa maLe e Aje mArI dharmopAsanA banI che, ItyAdi. meM temane kahyuM - IDaranA zrAvako tamArI peThe udayalAlane paNa kAzI bolAvavA AvelA, paNa teNe hiMmata ane DihApaNapUrvaka bhaTTArakapada levAnI ghasIne nA pADI hatI, jyAre tame lobhAyA, paNa hajI zuM bagaDyuM che ? badhuM pheMkI ahIMthI nIkaLI jAo. parANe koI bAMdhI rAkhatuM nathI. tamArI mohavRtti ja tamane bAMdhe che, ItyAdi. ame chUTA paDyA. mArA manamAM jainaparaMparAnA zrIpUjyo ane bhaTTArako viSe temaja anya paraMparAonA AcAryo ane mahaMto viSe aneka jAtanA vicAro UThyA. tyAga ane dharmane nAme bhogavilAsa, akarmaNyatA tema ja mithyAcAra kevAM poSAI rahyAM che tenuM tAdaza citra Aje paNa manamAM khaDuM thAya che. govardhana lahiyAnI sajajanatA - meM rasoiyA tarIke jene sAthe lIdhela hato te vastutaH rasoiyo na hato. te hato to zrImALI brAhmaNa, paNa kAma karato pratilekhananuM. jUnAmAM jUnI prationA game tevA akSarone vAMcI levAnI enI kuzaLatAe ene sulekhaka tarIkenAM pramANapatro paNa apAvelAM. ene e kAryamAM tAlIma ApI taiyAra karanAra to pravartakajI ane temanA ziSya muni caturavijayajI hatA. tethI te temanI pAse ja lekhaka tarIke kAma karato. enuM nAma govardhana. ene kezariyAjInI yAtrAno AnaMda levAnuM mana thayuM, paNa e brAhmaNa hoI kaye nimitte saMghamAM joDAI zake? tethI teNe mane kahyuM ke tame mane sAthe laI cAlo ne huM tamArA rasoIyA tarIke rahIza. govardhana rasoiyA tarIke sAthe Avelo paNa e prakRtithI eTalo badho svataMtra hato ke te pravartakajInA munimaMDaLa ne mArA sivAya koInI paravA kare tevo nahi. ne potAnA aMgata puruSanA sAtha vinAnI be baheno sAsuvahu mArI gADImAM sAmAna mUke ne bIjo paDAvamAM suvAnI sagavaDa na hoya tyAre mArI rajAthI mArA taMbumAM paNa sUe. paTaNI lokonI prakRti ajaba. keTalAka juvAna paTaNIo

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116 7 mAruM jIvanavRtta govardhana tarapha karaDI najare jue. e paNa temane na gaNakAre. A dhUMdhavAto agni kezariyAjI bahu dUra na hatuM te vakhate saMghanA eka paDAvamAM bahAra Avyo. keTalAka haThIlA paTaNIoe nakkI karyuM ke govardhanane ahIMthI ja pATaNa pAcho kADhavo. govardhane nakkI kareluM ke, saMgha choDIne paNa te ekalo kezariyAjI to jaze ja. A rasAkasInI vANiyAzAhI vATAghATa vakhate zrI jinavijyajInI kSatriya prakRti bahAra AvI. temaNe vANiyAone khUba dhamakAvI kahyuM ke tame zuM samajo cho ? govardhana viSe tame ATaluM gaMduM vAtAvaraNa phelAvyuM che teno kAMI purAvo che ? asahAya be bahenone sauthI pahelAM sAcavI levAnI saMghapatinI ja pharaja che. govardhana madada Ape che, emAM zuM khoTuM che ? emanI ruAbI dhamakI sAMbhaLatAM ja badhA vANiyA ThaMDAgAra. huM bahArathI pharIne Avyo ne A banAva viSe sAMbhaLyuM tyAre mane bahenonI lAcArI ne puruSonI uddhatAI viSe aneka vicAro AvyA kema ke e baMne bahenone huM jANato ne mArA kahevAthI ja mArA taMbumAM temane Azraya maLato. govardhananuM abhimAna utAravAnA prayatnomAM baheno kevI vagovAya che, temanI manovyathA zI che ? eno samAjamAM AgevAna gaNAtA puruSone sudhdhAM vicAra na Avato e huM tyAM joI zakayo; ne dharmayAtrA karavA nIkaLela sadgRhastho paNa sAmAjika vyavahAramAM keTalA pachAta ne kSudra che enuM mane tyAM spaSTa bhAna thayuM. baLadanA du:khe du:khI pahADanI sAMkaDI ne ke patharIlI ghATImAMthI gADAMo pasAra thatAM hatAM. huM gADI upara beThelo. tyAM acAnaka kaDaDaDabhUsano avAja thayo. gADIvAna jue che. to baLadano eka paga bhAMgI gayo. ane baLada sAthe gADI paNa namI paDI che. baLado bhAre majabUta ane puSTa. jeno paga bhAMgyo hato te baLada kemeya Ubho na thAya. zuM karavuM ? e prazna upasthita thayo. pAchaLanI gADIo e sAMkaDA rastAmAMthI AgaLa kevI rIte nIkaLI. zake ? gADI ane pagabhAMgela baLadanuM zuM ? kezariyAjI bheguM kema thavuM ? baLada koIpaNa rIte tyAM pahoMce toya AgaLa tenuM zuM ? eno mAlika bicAro bhADe Avela te AvA kImatI baLadane gumAve ane tene pAlave kema ? pagabhAMgela baLadane rotAM rotAM kacAMya choDI jAya toya AgaLa tenI khetInuM zuM ? navo baLada levA madada koNa Ape ? hajAro kharcavA nIkaLela saMghapatinI e pharaja kharI ke temaNe pagabhAMgela baLada jIve tyAM lagI tene sAcavavAnI vyavasthA karavI ne gADIvAnane bIjo baLada levAmAM madada karavI ? saMghanA yAtrIonI zI pharaja ! ityAdi aneka prazno mArI peThe bIjAone paNa mUMjhavavA lAgyA. chevaTe meM keTalAka dayALu bhAIonI madadathI eTaluM to nakkI karyuM ke game te rIte A baLadane kezariyAjInA dhAma sudhI pahoMcato karavo ne teno paga na sudhare to jIve tyAM lagI tene sAcavavAnI pUrI goThavaNa karavI. ame du:khita dile kezariyAjI pahoMcyA. Akhare baLada paNa tyAM pahoMcyo, paraMtu mane yAda che ke huM keTalAya mitro

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kezariyAjInI yAtrAe * 117 sAthe pharI pharIne e baLada pAse jato. e khAya che ke nahi ? te pUchato. vicAra Avato ke ATaluM dukha mANasane hoya to tenI vAcA, hoya te karatAM tene hajAra ghaNuM karI mUke jyAre A mUka prANI anubhave che teno hajAramo bhAga paNa jonAranA dhyAnamAM nathI Utarato. samAna duHkha hovA chatAM prakRtinI kevI vicitratA ? A ane AnA jevA vicAromAM be divasa jema tema pasAra karyA ne chevaTe saMghano sAtha tyAM ja choDI huM udayapura bhaNI cAlI nIkaLyo. baLadanI ciMtAthI yAtrAno rasa phikko paDelo. udayapuramAM koI pazuvaidya ke DaoNkTaranI tapAsa karavI hatI. ne pAchA pagaraste na jatAM TrenamAM ja jaladI amadAvAda pahoMcavAno uddeza hato. kezariyAjI tIrtha kezariyA e jainonuM ja tIrtha che, paNa te potAnI vizeSatAne kAraNe jena jainetara saunuM vaMdanIya tIrtha banyuM che. bImAro zAnta thavA ne aputriyAo putra meLavavA to Ave ja che, paNa corI karavAmAM saphaLatA meLavanAra bhIlo sudhdhAM tyAM bheTa caDAvavA Ave che. A to bhagavAna RSabhadevanI mUrtinA mahimAnI vAta thaI, paNa e tIrthamAM yU, krizciyana ane pArasI sivAyanI badhI ja jainetara paraMparAonAM deva-devIo potapotAnA bhakto dvArA pUjA-arcanA pAme che. musalamAnonI masjidane paNa tyAM avakAza maLyo che. jANe ke A tIrthe RgvadanA deva-maMDaLane kaLiyugamAM eka sthAne AvavA notaryuM na hoya ? badhA saMpradAyo game te paristhitimAM ahIM sthAna pAmyA hoya, paNa sAMskRtika dRSTie vicAra karIe to ema lAge che ke jainaparaMparAnI anekAnta dRSTino eka aMza jANe-ajANe ahIM mUrtimAna thayo che. AvI sthiti hovA chatAM paNa tyAMnI traNa vastuo bahu khaTake evI che. eka to tyAM anya hindu tIrthomAM hoya che tevI paMDyAnI sRSTi, bIjI vastu kesarano caDAvo ane trIjI zvetAMbara digaMbaranI takarAra. potAnA je pUrvajone yAtrIo na jANatA hoya temane svargamAMthI utArI yAda ApavAnuM paMDyAnuM kAma ajJAna yAtrIonI dRSTie upayogI mAnIe toya ekaMdara e paMDyAo akarmaNyatAmAM ja paLAtA ane poSAtA hoI potAnI jAta ane komano dakSiNAnI parAvalaMbI jIvikA dvArA nAza karI rahyA che ane yAtrIomAM aneka jAtanA vahemo poSI tIrthasthAnamAM saMbhavita evA AdhyAtmika lAbhono mULathI ja uccheda kare che. bhagavAna RSabhadevanI mUrti evI prabhAvaka manAya che ke loko dUra dUrathI te upara kesara caDAvavA Ave che. je yAtrI vadhAre dhanika ne vadhAre udAra te vadhAre kesara caDAve. mUrtithI mAMDI pANInI morI sudhI badhe ja sthaLe kImatI kesaranA DhagalA. Arogya AdinAM aneka kAmomAM upayogI thaI zake tevA ane garIba ke madhyama varganA lokone sAva durlabha evA kesaranI barabAdI thatI joI temaja kesara caDAvI tenA badalAmAM moTA lAbho meLavavAnI lAlacanuM

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118 * mAruM jIvanavRtta vevalApaNuM joI bhagavAna RSabhadeva, tevA bhakto viSe zuM dhAratA haze ? e kahevuM kaThaNa che. je jamAnAmAM dharmo ane paMthonA bhedo paDyA na hatA e paurANika satyayugamAM thayela bhagavAna RSabhadevanA darabAramAM badhA ja dharmo ane temanA devo sthAna pAmyA che e to anekAnta dRSTinA vikAsane anurUpa thayuM che ne emAM jainaparaMparA gaurava le to te asthAne paNa nathI, paraMtu anekAntane sarvathA kalaMka lagADe evI vastu to tyAM jeno pote ja AcarI rahyA che ne te zvetAMbara-digaMbara paraMparAnI hakka viSenI takarAro. A takarAroe jainadharmanA AtmAsamAna ahiMsA ane anekAnta baMne siddhAMtonuM khUna karAvyuM che ne te haju cAlu che. duHkhanI vAta to e che ke baMne pakSo AvI takarArone dhanya gaNI poSe ja jAya che. - A traNa bAbatonA vicArathI e sthAnamAM je AdhyAtmika phuraNA thavI joIe te mArAmAM thatI meM na joI ne zULa yAtrAno saMtoSa mAnavA chatAM sUkSmayAtrA vinAno ja huM kezariyAjIthI prasthAna karI gayo.

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19. udepura thaI amadAvAda gADInuM sAdhana sAthe hatuM, paNa pahADI pradezamAM page cAlavAnI majA mANavA pAdavihAra ja zarU karyo. udayapura pahoMcyA sudhImAM be-traNa vizeSatAoe mAruM khUba dhyAna kheMcyuM. rAte paDAva karela che ane bIjA magarAnAM gAmaDAMomAM jyAM dekho tyAM jeno vinAnAM jaina maMdironuM rAjya che. e maMdiro paNa jevAM tevAM nahi. Aje evAM maMdiro baMdhAvatAM aDhaLaka kharca karavo paDe. A vastusthiti dharma arthamUlaka che e siddhAMtanI sUcaka che. jyAM lagI mevADamAM Arthika dRSTie jaino AbAda hatA tyAM lagI AvA magarAomAM rahI potAnI dharmabhAvanA poSI ne jyAre temanI Arthika sthiti paDI bhAMgI tyAre teo potAnA temaja pUrvajonA prANathI paNa adhika evAM dharmasthAnone choDI jyAM tyAM cAlyA gayA. raste cAlatAM game tyAM vAvaDIo maLe. emAM UtaratAM ane enuM zItala-madhura pANI pItAMveMta ja mAro thAka ane kaMTALo koNa jANe kyAM cAlyA jatAM. ne AgaLa cAlavAnI tAjagI maLatI. moTarano motakara-motara) mota donara evo artha kADhavAnI vyutpatti mane e rastAmAM sUjhI. raste cAlatA gADA ke musApharane bhAgye ja bacavAnI taka maLe eTalI bephAma gatithI doDatI moTarono bhoga banatAM huM to daivayoge bacI gayo, paNa kudaiva UtaryuM eka paMjAbI jaina yAtrIne zire. e bicAro belagADI nIce kacarAI kSaNabharamAM svarganI yAtrAe gayo. enA traNa sAthIo enA mRtaka dehane laI udayapura dAhakarma arthe pAchA pharyA. A ghaTanAe pelA baLadanI ghaTanAthI thayela duHkhamAM bhAre umero karyo. potAnI jAna bacI gayAnA vAstavika AnaMdamAM paNa e duHkha bhAre vighnarUpa banyuM. baLadano uddhAra kaI rIte zakya che e praznanA je aneka jaNa pAsethI aneka uttaro maLyA temAMthI chevaTe eka ja vyavahAru lAgyo. te pramANe mAre rAjadarabAramAM javuM ne tyAM je lAgavagavALA amaladAro ke jAgIradAro hoya temanI madada mAMgavI ema TharyuM. aneka varSo thayAM sAcavI rAkhela mAthe bAMdhavAno kAThiyAvADI pheMTo TUMkamAM sAthe nirarthaka pheravavAnuM DahApaNa sacavAyuM na hota to mAre mATe rAjadarabAramAM javuM paNa agharuM banata. AbhAra e pheMTAno ke teNe darabAranA daravAjA mArA mATe khullA karAvyA. eka bahu vRddha jAgIradAra hADavaidya tarIke jANItA hatA. te kAMIka rasto batAvaze evI umeda hatI, paNa jyAre e bahu saraLa jAgIradArane maLyo tyAre lAgyuM ke mevADamAM

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120 * mAruM jIvanavRtta vIsamI sadInuM prabhAta paNa nathI UgyuM. emanI sahAnubhUti to dekhAI, paNa ame badho kharca karIzuM ema kahyA chatAM te niSkriya ja siddha thaI. udayapura sudhI baLada pahoMce to ja ilAja thAya ne chevaTe pAMjarApoLamAM paNa sthAna pAmI zake ema jaNAtAM ja huM sIdho sTezane pahoMcyo. kezariyAjImAM hajI saMghapati che ne tyAM bhagavAna paNa birAje che eTale baLadanuM kAMI thaI raheze e ja AzvAsane duHkha ghaTADavuM, ne mane amadAvAda pahocato karyo karmasiddhAMtano abhyAsa saMketa pramANe pravartakajI gujarAtamAM pAchA Ave tyAre ja temane maLI AgaLAno kAryakrama nakkI karavAno hato. tethI vacalA divasono iSTa upayoga amadAvAdamAM rahI karI levo ema nakkI karyuM. jaina karmazAstranAM mULa tattvo ne keTalIka vIgato to saMskRtano abhyAsa zarU karyo na hato tyArathI ja jANato, paNa e viSayanuM saMskRta-prAkRta vAmaya zAntithI vAMcavA-vicAravAnI taka hajI lagI maLI na hatI. pATaNathI pagaraste cAlatI vakhate e viSayanAM beeka pustako sAthe lIdhelAM ema dhArIne ke gADAmAM besIzuM tyAre ne paDAva nakhAze tyAM anukULatAe sAMbhaLIza. te pramANe pravAsa daramiyAna saTIka karmagrantha pahelo bhAga to pUro thayelo. have amadAvAdamAM AgaLanuM vAcana zarU thayuM. bIjo bhAga pUro karI karmaprakRti hAthamAM lIdhI. jenaparaMparAmAM karmaprakRti granthanI bhAre pratiSThA che. krama viSayano chellAmAM chello e grantha gaNAya. garamInA e sakhata divasomAM jhaverIvADa vidyAzALAnA makAne mane bahu rAhata ApI. ne e grantha pUro vAMcI samajI lIdho. loko ene jeTalo agharo mAne che teTalo mane na lAgyo. tenuM kAraNa to ene lagatI pUrvabhUmikAnI mArI saMpUrNa taiyArI e ja gaNI zakAya. prathA evI paDI che ke je saMskRta-prAkRta-bhASA paNa ThIkaThIka na jANato hoya, je nyAya ane darzananAM prAthamika tattvo na jANato hoya, te sudhdhAM karma-prakRti vAMce. pariNAme enA gaNitane bhedaprabhedanA jaMgalamAM bhaNanAranuM bhejuM evuM aTavAI jAya ke te mULa vastu sudhI na pahoMce ne granthanI prazaMsAmAM ja bhaNyAno AnaMda mANe. huM karmaprakRti malayagiri ane upAdhyAyajInI baMne TIkA sahita ApameLe vAMcuM chuM e bInAe jotajotAMmAM tyAMnA tajjJa ane pratiSThita lokomAM mane vadhAre jANIto karyo. keTalAka pratiSThita tajajJo rAtre Ave ne carcA paNa kare. keTalIka vAra te viSe mane UThatA dArzanika prazno sAMbhaLI teo navAI pAme ne sAthesAthe kahe ke A badhuM to sarvajJagamya che. ApaNA jevA chadmasthonI emAM pUrI gati nahi. mAre svIkAravuM joIe ke, saTIka karmaprakRtinA vAcana vakhate mane ghaNI bAbatomAM mArA mitra hIrAcaMda devacaMda taraphathI rAhata maLI hatI. jyAre keTalAka dArzanika praznonuM samAdhAna zrI sAgarAnaMdajI sUri paNa karI zakyA na hatA. te vakhate ja mane prathama lAgyuM ke, sAgarAnaMdajInuM vAcana jeTaluM vizALa che teTalI spaSTatA ke asaMdigdhatA

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udepura thaI amadAvAda * 121 nathI. karmaprakRtie karmazAstranA viSayamAM mAro rasa eTalo badho poSyo ke have huM enI pAchaLa ja paDyo. A viSayano sauthI sArAmAM sAro gaNAto hoya tevo jANakAra koNa? enI zodha karato hato tyAM daivayoge zrIyuta kuMvarajIbhAInA samAgamano prasaMga sAMpaDyo. zrI kuMvarajIbhAIno ane kAMtano saMparka muMbaImAM jaina zvetAMbara konpharansanuM adhivezana. sadgata Do. bAlAbhAI nANAvaTI pramukha. huM e adhivezanamAM gayo ne te vakhate tyAM bhajavAtuM bhASaNo ane TharAvonuM nATaka nihALyuM. zrIyuta kuMvarajIbhAI maLyA ne temaNe mane kahyuM ke tame bhAvanagara Avo. huM tamane A viSayamAM banatI madada karIza. meM sAMbhaLI rAkheluM ke kuMvarajIbhAI jevA karmazAstranA jJAtA bahu ochA che. mArI jijJAsAe bhAvanagaranI sakhata lUmAM mane dhakelyo. savAra ane bapore dAdAsAhebavALI borDiMga bhalI ne huM bhalo. traNeka vAgye kuMvarajIbhAIne tyAM jAuM. temane A viSayano bhAre zokha eTale meM taiyAra karI rAkhela prazno viSe carcA karIe. rAte jainadharma prasAraka sabhAmAM maLIe. teo potAnI sAthe tyAMnA eka tajajJa mAstarane paNa lAve. A carcAno AnaMda eTalo madhura banato ke garamI ne bApha to kyAMya ogaLI jatAM. mAro A krama cAlato hato te daramiyAna keTalAka vidyArasika ne sAhityika sajjanoe AtmAnaMda jainasabhAmAM meLAvaDo karI mane temAM notaryo. meLAvaDAno mukhya uddeza gujarAtanA suprasiddha kavi "kAnta' maNizaMkara ratnajI bhaTTa) ane mArA vacce pArasparika paricaya karAvavAno hato. prathama mulAkAte ja kAntanI vidvattA ne madhuratAe mAruM dhyAna savizeSa kheMcyuM. huM nyAyazAstra zIkhyo chuM evI mAhitI uparathI temaNe mane vizvanAtha-paMcAnanI kArikAvalI muktAvalImAMthI 'svataH parataH prAmANya ne lagato eka prazna pUchyo. mArI pAsethI vistRta uttara sAMbhaLyA. pachI mArA pratye temano savizeSa Adara baMdhAyAno bhAsa to mane te vakhate ja thayo, paNa tenI kharI pratIti to tyAra bAda sAteka varSa pachI pharI ame baMne bhAvanagaramAM maLyA tyAre thaI. A vakhate deza AkhAmAM gAMdhIjInI AgevAnI nIce svarAjya ne khilAphatanI hilacAla purajozamAM hatI. bhAvanagaranI rASTrIya pravRttinA kAnta prANa hatA. temaNe eka divasa rastAmAM maLyA tyAre mane kahyuM, "tame jenadharmanA rASTralakSI valaNa viSe AjanI sabhAmAM bolo.' huM e sabhAmAM mukhya vaktA hato. vyavahAranizcaya baMne dRSTie jainadharma kaI rIte rASTrano poSaka thaI zake e viSe meM kAMIka kaheluM, paNa jyAre upasaMhAramAM meM 'kAnta'nuM paheluM ane chelle ja ati TUMka bhASaNa sAMbhaLyuM tyAre islAmanA itihAsa viSenA temanA UMDA ane spaSTa jJAne temaja temanI vAkachaTAe mArI upara kadI na bhUMsAya evI chApa pADI. meM temanI sAthenA paricayanuM mAruM smaraNa 'kAntasmArakamALAmAM prakAzita thayela eka lekhamAM karyuM che.

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122 * mAruM jIvanavRtta pravartakajI sAthe kapaDavaMjamAM - traNeka aThavADiyAM pasAra karI sukhada smaraNo sAthe pAcho pharyo ne kapaDavaMjamAM pravartakajIne jaI maLyo. ATalA anubhavo dvArA mane spaSTa samajAyuM ke, karmaprakRti jevAM granthone saMskRtanA temaja nyAyadarzananA abhyAsa sivAya vAMcavA-samajavAno prayatna karavo emAM zakti ane samayanI pUrI sArthaktA nathI. hAI pakaDAtuM nathI ne mAtra gaNatarIo gaNavAmAM ja smRti temaja kalpanAzakti veDaphAI jAya che. zvetAMbara ane digaMbara paraMparAmAM karmazAstranA abhyAsIonI sArI sarakhI eka phoja che ema kahI zakAya, paNa karma tattvanA hArda sudhI pahoMcI karma paramANuone tenI saMkhyAnAM sthaLa rUpakothI mukti meLavanAra bhAgye ja koI hoya che. WWW.jainelibrary.org

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20. vaDodarAnA anubhavo vi. saM. 1972nuM comAsuM vaDodarAmAM rahyo. huM comAsuM AvyA pahelAM ja tyAM pahoMcI gayelo te pahelAM kadI nahi joyela evAM rasapUrInAM moTAM saMghajamaNonA svAdano bhAgIdAra paNa thayo. pravartakajIne temanA ziSyamaMDaLanA svabhAvanI mIThAza ne udAratA temaja zrI jinavijayajInI hAjarI e be bAbato uparAMta vaDodarA rahevA mATe mAruM trIjuM ane sabaLa AkarSaNa paNa hatuM. hindustAnanAM badhAM ja dezI rAjyomAM vaDodarA vadhAre pragatizIla che. tyAM prAthamika zikSaNa anivArya che. harijano mATe paNa keLavaNI ApavAno alAyado prabaMdha che, ItyAdi chApAM dvArA jANela hakIkatoe vaDodarAmAM rahI temAM viziSTa paricaya sAdhavAno manoratha pahelethI ja janmAvyo hato. sayAjIrAve sarjela navA vaDodarAne UMDANathI jovAnI abhilASA saphaLa thavAno have avasara Avyo. bhaNanAra ekamAtra muni puNyavijayajI. tethI e kAmamAM samaya bahu Apavo na paDato. eTale bIjI pravRttio tarapha mana saheje vaLyuM. gItArahasya dvArA thayela marAThI bhASAnA thoDA paricayane lIdhe tenA viziSTa paricaya mATe prerAyo. vaDodarAmAM sagavaDa paNa hatI eTale karvenI marAThImAM lakhAyela AtmakathA dvArA bhASAno paricaya vadhAryo ane sAthesAthe starI keLavaNInA asAdhAraNa himAyatI ne tapasvI karvenA jIvanano paNa preraka paricaya sAdhyo. vaDodarAmAM mAruM AkarSaka sthAna oriyenTala risarca insTiTayUTa hatuM. saddagata sI. DI. dalAla tyAMnA mukhya. teo zarIre jeTalA durbaLa ane azakta teTaluM ja saMzodhananuM kAma vadhAre karatA. rASTroDhavaMza mahAkAvya, naranArAyaNa kAvya, kAvyamImAMsA Adi aneka granthonuM te saMzodhana-saMpAdana karatA. potAnA esisTanTa raMgasvAmIne mArI pAse mokale ne huM rASTraDhavaMza mahAkAvya Adine zuddha karI ApuM. A kAmamAM mane rasa paDyo, paNa jyAre sI. DI. dalAle bauddha vidvAna zAntarakSitanA durlabha mahAna grantha tattvasaMgrahanuM saMpAdana karavA mane kahyuM tyAre enA saMpAdananI bIjI badhI yogyatA ane sagavaDa hovA chatAM mArI TUMkI buddhi ADe AvI. bhaNAvavuM e ja vidyAvikAsano mArga che e pUrvasaMskAre e kAma svIkAratAM rokayo. AgaLa jatAM mane lAgyuM ke meM e takane vadhAvI na lIdhI te moTI bhUla ja karI hatI.

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124 * mAruM jIvanavRtta keLavaNInI aneka saMsthAo uparAMta tyAMnuM saMgrahAlaya, judA judA darzanIya prAsAdo, moTAM taLAvo Adi vaDodarAnI aneka vastuone sAkSAta jANavAno prasaMga maLyo. e lAbha jevo tevo na gaNAya, paraMtu tyAMnI be vastuonI chApa smRtimAMthI bhUMsAtI nathI. eka to gaMgAbAIe karelI rasoI ne suMdarabAInuM osAmaNa ane bIjI zerIonI gaMdakI. je bApubhAI vaidyane tyAM huM jamavA jato temane tyAM dakSiNI bahena gaMgAbAI rasoI kare. bhAta khAvAno abhyAsa to mithilAmAM vadhyo ja hato. gaMgAbAI dALa ne bhAta pIrase tyAre enAM sugaMdha ane svAdathI maMda paNa jaTharAgni pradIpta thaI jato. jamatAM jamatAM ema paNa thaI jatuM ke, pAkakaLA ne cokhkhAI marAThI bahenone ja varI che. mane dezamAM hato tyArathI to jhAlAvADanA rivAja pramANe kaDhI ja pasaMda hatI. kyAreka kayAreka bIje sthAne osAmaNa cAkheluM, paNa teNe mana bahu jIteluM nahi; ene jItyuM suMdarabAInA osAmaNe. emane tyAM jamavA jAuM tyAre ghaNI vAra mAMgatAM ane e pIrase toya letAM saMkoca thato ema dhArI ne ke rakhe koI mane bhUkhaNazI na lekhe. vaDodarAnA rAjazAhI pahoLA rastAo, surasAgaLa jevAM taLAvo, mANekarAvanA akhADA jevAM sthAno e badha sthaLe savAra-sAMja pharI khullI ane zuddha havAno AnaMda laI jyAre sAMkaDI jAnI zerInA jaina upAzrayamAM javuMAvavuM paDatuM tyAre bahAra meLavelo AnaMda narakayaMtraNAmAM pheravAI jato. zerIo sAMkaDI, varasAda aTake nahi. AgalA divasano gaMdavADa khasyo ja na hoya tyAM to sAmasAmI baMne bAjue Avela makAnomAMthI jANe harIphAI thatI hoya tema gaMdavADa vadhato cAle. A gaMdakIe zarUAtamAM to mArA hAtha-paganA AMgaLAmAM saDo pedA karI sUcanA ApI ke tAruM ahIM kAma nathI, tuM cAlyo jA, paNa e sUcanA jhIlavA jeTalI buddhi vikasela nahi hoya ke lIdhela vAta pakaDI rAkhavAnI haTha hoya-game te hoya, paNa huM vakhatasara na cetyo eTale e gaMdakInA vAtAvaraNe potAnA dUta tAvane mokalyo. have mArI sthiti muzkela banI. ati sakhata garama davA levAne kAraNe lohI paDyuM ne harasa dUjhakyAnI zaMkA gaI tyAre ja vaDodarAne dazerA lagabhaga salAma karI. pravartakajInI bhavyatA vaDodarAmAM tAva Avyo, herAna thayo, paNa teNe pravartakajInI bhavyatAnuM je virala darzana karAvyuM te bIjA kazAthI na hatuM. jenasamAjamAM sAmAnya rIte evI mAnyatA ane deDha paraMparA che ke sAdhuo gRhasthonI paricaryA na kare. maratAMne davA na Ape, to pachI zArIrika paricaryAnI vAta ja zI ? caudazano divasa. Avazyaka kriyA mATe Akho saMgha ekatra thayelo. huM sakhata tAvanA joramAM paDelo ne bhAna ochuM. pravartakajI mAruM mastaka dabAve. A cAlatuM hatuM te daramiyAna saMghanAM vRddha ane pratiSThita strI-puruSo bichAnA

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vaDodarAnA anubhavo * 125 pAse AvI pahoMcyAM ne pravartakajIne mAruM mAthuM dAbatAM joI vismaya paNa pAmyA - ema dhArIne ke pravartakajI jevA vayovRddha sAdhu sukhalAla jevA asaMyatanI paricaryA kema karatA haze? emanI pravartakajI pratyenI zraddhAe emane bIjA prazno karatAM to rokyA, paNa saMghamAMthI keTalAya AgevAna gRhastho UThI AgaLa AvyA ne pravartakajInA hAtha mArA mAthA uparathI khaseDI pote dAbavA lAgyA. jANe ke pravartakajIne mahAna doSanA gartapAtathI bacAvI pote zuzraSAnA puNyakArya dvArA svargadvAra pahoMcavAnI spardhA karatA na hoya! paraMtu jyAre pravartakajIe dhIra ane gaMbhIra svare kahyuM ke, emAM zuM? paMDitajI amArI pAse che, sAdhuone bhaNAve che to sAdhuonI pharaja che ke temaNe temanI zuzruSA karavI, ityAdi. zrAvako khUba zaramAyA ane chevaTe pravartakajInI vAta kAMIka samajyA hoya ema lAgyuM. A ghaTanAe mana sabhAna karyo. tyArathI mane samajAI gayuM ke, sAdhupaNAno DoLa karanArAo ghaNA che, paNa ene sparzanAra to AvA koI virala ja che. kAzIvALA zAstrIe ne harmana yAkobIe pravartakajInI je prazaMsA karI hatI tenuM pUrNarUpa mArI dRSTi sanmukha AvyuM ne teNe mane temanI sAthe haMmezane mATe bAMdhI lIdho. . ka

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21. amadAvAdamAM gAMdhIjInA AzramamAM zrI ramaNIkalAla maganalAla modI, je gAMdhIjInI dAMDIkUcanA sAthIo paikI eka che ne AzramavAsI tarIke jANItA che te thoDA vakhata pahelAM ja bI. e. thayelA ne oDa gAmamAM zikSaka tarIke kAma karatA. mAro ane emano svalpa paricaya emanA abhyAsakALa daramiyAna pATaNamAM aNadhArI rIte thayelo. temane jaina zAstro uparAMta vaidika ane bauddha zAstro vAMcavAno bhAre rasa lAgelo. paitRka saMskArane lIdhe teo jaina zAstro vAMcavAno bhAre 2sa lAgelo. paitRka saMskArane lIdhe teo jaina zAstro ne jainaparaMparA viSe ThIka-ThIka jANatA, paNa temane tenuM vistRta ane UMDuM jJAna meLavavAnI bahu bhUkha jAgelI. vaDodarA choDyuM te agAu teo mane maLI gayelA. karmaprakRti vAMcavI evo ame baMnee vicAra to karyo, paNa kayAM rahI vAMcavuM e prazne chevaTe amane gAMdhIjInA Azramano saMketa karyo. te vakhate e Azrama sarakheja roDa u52 hato. gAMdhIjI sAthe mAro paricaya pahelethI ja hato. teo AphrikAthI AvyA ne amadAvAdamAM temanuM pahelavaheluM svAgata thayuM tyAre e meLAvaDAmAM meM temane sarvaprathama sAMbhaLyA hatA ne AphrikAmAM cAlatI satyAgrahanI laDAI vakhate je temanI karmavIra tarIkenI khyAti comera prasarI hatI tenI kAzImAM hato tyArathI ja chApAM dvArA jANa hatI. tethI gAMdhIjIe Azrama sthApyo tyArathI ja temanA AzramamAM huM jato-Avato thaI gayelo. keTalIka vAra sAMjanI prArthanA pachI temanI sAthe pharatAM pharatAM carcA paNa karelI - brahmacaryanI sukaratA-duSkaratA temaja harasa jevA roganAM kAraNo Adi viSe gAMdhIjInI dRSTi pratye mAro samabhAva paNa pragaTelo. ramaNIkalAla ne meM maLI nakkI karyuM ke jo gAMdhIjInA AzramamAM thoDo vakhata rahIe to tyAMnA tapasvI-jIvananI vadhAre najIka avAya, gAMdhIjI sAthe vadhAre paricaya sadhAya ne ekAMta zAMta vAtAvaraNamAM karma-prakRtinuM vAcana paNa thAya. amArA patrano javAba 'hA'mAM AvatAM ame baMne AzramanA niyama pramANe bistaro ne thALI-loTo laI AzramamAM pahoMcyA. AzramanA kAmamAM bhAgIdAra thavuM joIe e vicArathI ame kAMika kAmanI mAMgaNI karI. ramaNIkalAlanI peThe huM game te kAma karI zakuM ema to hatuM ja nahi topaNa pahele divase meM daLavAnuM kAma mAMgyuM. meM kadI paNa

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amadAvAdamAM : 127 daLyuM nathI ema jANatAM ja gAMdhIjIe mane potAnI sAthe ghaMTI upara besADyo. temanA dvArA daLavAnI prAthamika tAlIma maLI, paNa jyAre ame baMne navarA paDIe tyAre ekAntamAM besI karmaprakRti vAMcIe. eka vAra pharatAM pharatAM gAMdhIjI AvI caDyA. ne zuM vAMco cho ? ema hasIne pUchyuM. amAro javAba sAMbhaLI temaNe potAnI lAkSaNiktAthI smita karI pUchyuM ke, e granthamAM zI vastu che ? ame yathAyogya kahyuM. ema ke ? ema kahI teo to potAnA kAme cAlyA gayA, paNa ame zaramAyA. karmayoganI sAdhanA thatI hoya tyAM Avo zAstrarasa ekAMgI ane phikko thaI jAya che enuM bhAna thatAM ame nakkI karyuM ke ahIMthI bIje ja kyAMya rahI grantha pUro karavo. ame baMne mArA janmasthAna lImalImAM gayA ne tyAM granthanI samApti karI. ATalA sAhacarye amArA baMne vacce zAstrIya-maitrI daDha karI ne baMne ekabIjA pratye AkarSAyA. A ja AkarSaNa AgaLa uparanA amArA sahajIvana ane sahakAryanI bhUmikA banI. sAhya jIvanano Agraha A ja arasAmAM amadAvAdamAM be pariSado maLelI. eka gujarAta keLavaNI pariSada ane bIjI gujarAta rAjakIya pariSada. ekanA pramukha jhINA ane bIjInA pramukha cImanalAla setalavADa hatA. bhASaNa ApavAno pratibaMdha chatAM tilaka tyAM hAjara hatA. gAMdhIjI sivAya koInuM bhASaNa gujarAtImAM nathI thayeluM. gAMdhIjInA e tIkhA ne vinodI bhASaNe emanA pratyenI mArI bhaktimAM vRddhi paNa karI hatI. manamAM evo saMskAra poSAyo ke zAstrIya pravRtti game tyAM rahI game teTalI karavI, paNa gAMdhIjInA AzramanI Dhabe kAMIka sAduM jIvana gALavAno ne jAtamahenatapUrvaka rahevAno paNa prayatna Adaravo. jAtaakhataro karI e joyuM ke ochAmAM ochA keTalA kharce jIvana jIvI zakAya che ne sAthe sAthe vidyA-pravRtti paNa cAlu rAkhI zakAya che! jyAre manamAM A saMskAra poSAI rahyo hato tyAre ja enI siddhi arthe ajJAta rIte bahAranuM anukULa vAtAvaraNa paNa sarjAI rahyuM hatuM. jANe ke karmano kAyado potAnI satyatA ja puravAra karavA mathato na hoya ?

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22. lekhanakAryano daDha saMkalpa AgAne pravRttinuM kendra banAveluM chatAM AgrA bahAra gujarAtamAM cAra comAsAM pasAra thaI gayAM hatAM ne gujarAtamAM kayAMya besI sAdhu-sAdhvIone temaja jijJAsu gRhasthone amArI asAMpradAyika yojanA pramANe zIkhavavAnI nakkara udAra ane svataMtra bhUmikA dekhAtI na hatI. tethI gujarAtamAM rahI kAma karavAno bahu utsAha bAkI rahyo na hato. bIjI tarapha bAbu DAlacaMdajI AgrAmAM rahyA-rahyA ema vicAratA hatA ke, sukhalAlajI gujarAtamAM gayA te to gayA ja. have AgrAmAM prathama zarU karelI koI paNa pravRtti emanA vinA cAlatI ja nathI to emane koI paNa rIte yupI tarapha AvavA kahevuM. emano patra Avyo ne huM AgrA UpaDI gayo. gujarAtamAM hato te daramiyAna mArA potAnA viSe baMdhAyela eka AptajananI amuka dhAraNA sAMbhaLIne mAruM mana navA ja cakaDoLe caDyuM hatuM. sanmitra jevA cokhkhA dilanA ne mArA pratye ananya lAgaNI dharAvanArAe sahaja bhAve mArA eka mitrane amArI vividha pravRttio vikasAvavAnI carcA daramiyAna kaheluM ke tame hindImAM sAruM lakhI zako cho eTale hindI jaina sAhitya tame taiyAra karI ne sukhalAlajI potAnI avasthA pramANe lakhavA asamartha che to teo bhale bhaNAvavA AdinuM kAma kare. emano A abhiprAya tyAM lagInuM mAruM kAma jotAM temaja mArI parAdhInatAno vicAra karatAM akSarazaH sAco hato, paNa jyAre e mitre mane mArA viSe sanmitrane abhiprAya kahyo tyAre mane cAnaka caDI. meM mArI e uttejanA viSe koIne kadI leza paNa jANa thavA dIdhI nahi ne manamAM saMkalpa karyo ke game tema thAya toya mAre lekhanakArya karavuM ane evuM karavuM ke bIjAothI caDe nahi toya te sAva pachAta to na ja rahe. chevaTe A dizAmAM kevaLa AtmasaMtoSa thAya tyAM lagI pUrNa prayatna karavo. Aje A lakhI rahyo chuM tyAre ja mAro e saMkalpa pahelavahelo bIjA sammukhe Ave che. e daDha saMkalpane lIdhe huM vicArato hato ke have kayAM rahIne lakhavAnI sAdhanA karavI? chevaTe pUrva saMskAre kAzInI ane te paNa gaMgAtaTa upara Avela mArA pahelA raheThANanI ja yAda ApI. A vakhate manamAM e paNa bhAva UThelo ke upAdhyAya yazovijayajIe paNa e ja gaMgAtIravartI sthAnamAM amuka sAdhanA karI che to tyAM ja kema na rahevuM? manamAM ema nakkI karyuM ke lakhavAnI AtmasaMtoSa pUratI sAdhanA

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lekhanakAryano daDha saMkalpa * 129 to kAzImAM karavI pachI jyAM anukULa saMjogo hoya tyAM rahI AgaLanI pravRttio calAvavI. karmagranthono anuvAda DAlacaMdajInI icchA hatI ke, keTalAka jaina zAstrIya grantho hindImAM bhASAMtara sahita prasiddha karavA ne hindImAM zAstrIya zikSaNa ApavAnuM sAdhana taiyAra karavuM. sauthI pahelAM cha karmagrantho prasiddha thAya to sAruM kema ke te jaina samAjanI badhI dhArmika saMsthAomAM zIkhavavAmAM Ave che ne saMsthAo bahAra paNa eno bahu pracAra ane enuM bahu mahattva che. mAre to kAMI nimitta ja joItuM hatuM. karmagranthonA hindImAM anuvAda karavAnA vicArathI huM kAzI UpaDI gayo. tyAM hajI pahelAM sthAna ane pustakAdi sAmAna surakSita ja hatAM. mitra vrajalAlajInI mAtA paNa tyAM ja hatAM. hA, eka navo pALela kUtaro jarUra umerAyo hato. kAnyakubba brAhmaNa lakSmInArAyaNa, je mULe phatehapura yu.pI.)no nivAsI ane mArI sAthe pATaNa paNa rahelo te atyAre huM rahevAno hato tyAM ja jaina maMdiramAM pUjArI tarIke hovAthI mArI sagavaDamAM umero thayo. kAzImAM sAdagInA prayogo kAzImAM gayo to hato lekhanapravRttinI sAdhanA karavA, paNa sAthe sAthe gAMdhIjInA sahavAsathI sAdagI ane jAtamahenatI jIvana jIvavAnA saMskAro paNa laI gayo hato. A saMskArone anurUpa ja badhuM taMtra goThavI lekhana viSeno abhyAsa siddha karavo hato. vAsanA ane saMskArane baMdhabesatI evI bIjI paNa anukULatA maLI gaI. mAro eka bhatrIjo je te vakhate lagabhaga 14-15 varSano haze te A vakhate mArI sAthe Avelo. e aMgrejI skUlamAM amadAvAda bhaNato. ene vAraMvAra AvatI udharasa ne AMkhamAM thaI AvatAM khIlone lIdhe huM enA Arogya viSe saMcita hato. vaDodarAvALA vyAyAmaniSNAta mANekarAve enuM zarIra tapAsI kahyuM ke, AnuM baMdhAraNa ja nabaLuM che eTale e prathama zarIra sudhAre to sAruM, ityAdi, udharasa ane khIla baMnenuM kAraNa zarIra ne AMkhanI nabaLAI che temaja skUlano abhyAsa ane parIkSAnI ciMtA e nabaLAImAM umero kare che e mane ApameLe ja samajAI gayuM. meM nakkI karyuM ke e chokarAne skUlanA abhyAsathI mukta karavo ne prathama zarIra-sudhAraNA tarapha dhyAna ApavuM. A dRSTithI ene meM sAthe lIdhelo. je granthonA huM anuvAda karavA icchato hato te grantho ne tenA viSayano eka abhyAsI vidyArthI paNa mane maLI Avyo. enuM pUruM nAma bhAI harakhacaMda zivalAla. e mULe mArA mosALa koMDhano vatanI, paNa eno paricaya mane mahesANAmAM thayelo. e bahu namra, sevAbhAvI ne jijJAsu paNa hato. harajIvana, harakhacaMda, pUjArI lakSmInArAyaNa, eno pAMca varSano eka putra ne huM ema pAMca jaNAnA kharcanI javAbadArI sAthe kAzImAM rahevAnuM hatuM. je pustaka pracAraka maMDaLa mATe huM kAma karI rahyo hato

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130 * mAruM jIvanavRtta tenA taraphathI ke bAbu DAlacaMdajI taraphathI kharcanI pUrI chUTa hatI ne koIpaNa jAtanI taMgI ke muzkelI huM na bhogavuM e temanI khAsa khvAIza paNa hatI, paraMtu sAdagI ane jAtamahenatanA Adarzane anusarI meM evo vicAra karyo ke, ochAmAM ochA keTalA kharce rasoDuM calAvI zakAya che ane ArogyanI rakSA sAthe ISTa vidyAyajJa cAlu rAkhI zakAya che te dRSTie taMtra goThavavuM. gAMdhIjInA AzramamAM ghI-dUdha jevI vastuo vinA ja rasoDuM cAlatuM joyeluM. tyAM AzramavAsIo pote ja daLI le che e paNa anubhaveluM. tethI eTalo nirNaya to meM jaladI karI lIdho ke ghI - dUdha - dahIM vinA ja rasoDuM calAvavuM, ne daLavuM paNa hAthe jethI saraLa kasarata paNa thAya ne Arogyaprada loTa paNa maLe. be ghaMTIo paNa kharIdI. A vakhate paheluM mahAyuddha purajozamAM cAlatuM ne anAja te samayanA pramANamAM bahu moMghuM hatuM. khorAkamAM cokhA, ghauM, java, dALa ne caNA eTalAM anAjo ne tAjAM zAko eTaluM ja levAnuM rAkhyuM. javano upayoga roTalImAM ne ghauMno upayoga thailImAM karatA. caNA zekIne khAvAnA kAmamAM AvatA. pAMca jaNa vacce rasoDAno mAsika kharca rUpiyA 18thI kyAreya vadhAre Avyo hoya evuM yAda nathI. ghI dUdha - dahIM vadhAre vastuo khAvAno abhyAsa lAMbo ane puSTa eTale tenA svAdanA saMskAro kAMI manamAMthI gayA ke bhUMsAyA na hatA, paraMtu amuka Adarzane anusaravA khAtara ja e saMskArone dabAvI ame badhA cAlIe chIe enuM mane spaSTa bhAna hatuM. Avazyaka poSaNanI dRSTie temaja svAdanA saMskAronI daSTie zarIra dUdha - ghI jevAM poSaka dravyo mAMge che ema jANato chatAM manano vega evo hato ke amuka aMze lekhananA abhyAsamAM siddhi na maLe tyAM lagI koI paNa saMsthA upara kharcanuM bhAraNa bane teTaluM ochAmAM ochuM paDe te rIte vartavuM. harakhacaMdane eka bIjA rokela hiMdI lekhaka baMneno pagArakharca mAsika aDhAreka Avato. bAkIno kharca kAgaLa-pensila-pustaka AdimAM thato. kula bajeTa mAsika cAlIza rUpiyAthI na vadhatuM. A sAdAIno eka aMza thayo. daLavA uparAMta jAtamahenatamAM mukhya taravAnI kriyAne gaNAvI zakAya. gaMgAnA UMDA ane vegavALA pravAhamAM thoDI vAra paNa taravuM ne aDadho kalAka ghaMTIe besavuM e mArA jevA mATe to pUrato zarIra - zrama hato, paraMtu harajIvana ne harakhacaMda baMne vadhAre zrama karatA. daLe ane tare paNa vadhAre. gaMgAmAMthI pANInI bAlTIo bharI saMkhyAbaMdha pagathiyAM caDI upara lAve ne zarIrazakti meLave. A krama pramANe cAlatAM cAreka mahinAmAM meM joyuM ke harajIvananI zakala have sAva badalAI gaI che. teno khorAka ThIka ThIka vadhyo che. te be hAthamAM be bharI bAlTIo UMcakI gaMgAmAMthI upara lAvI zake che. gaMgAmAM dUra dUra sudhI lAMbo vakhata tarI zake che ne udharasa ke khIlanuM to nAmeya nathI. ATalA tvarita pheraphArathI mArI sAthe taNAtA e baMne bhAIonI paNa zraddhA Adarela prayoga viSe kAMIka vadhI.

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lekhanakAryano daDha saMkalpa * 131 paraMtu mArI sthiti nokhI hatI. mahesANA ane pATaNamAM harasanAM je darzana thatAM hatA te have vadhAre thavA lAgyAM. lohI vadhAre paDe ne nabaLo thaI jAuM, paNa sAdagInA prayoganI gAMDI dhUna evI hatI ke teNe mane bhaLatA ja tattvajJAna tarapha vALyo. huM IlAja karavAne badale temaja poSaka khorAkathI ghaTela lohInI pUrti karavAne badale ema mana manAvavA lAgyo ke jeTaluMka lohI vadhAre haze te ja ghaTavAnuM che, ethI vadhAre ghaTavAnuM nathI. mArI A samajaNa sAcI che ema huM nahoto samajato. huM jANato hato ke dhUnane lIdhe A mAtra mAruM mana manAmaNuM che. topaNa hajI e ja bhramamAM taNAye jato hato. ne juvAnInuM baLa ghaTAce jato hato. sAthIonI zraddhA A prayogamAM moLI na paDe evI dhAraNAe mArA upara kabajo jamAvyo hato ne te ja mane dhUnI banAvI rahI hatI. kabajiyAta hoya tyAre ja harasa vadhAre dUjhe che e niyama anubhavamAM Avyo. eTale kabajiyAta vaLavAno ilAja zodhatAM caNA madade AvyA. kAcA pAkA baMne prakAranA caNA khAvAno abhyAsa to nAnI uMmarathI ja hato. peTa upara thatuM enuM pariNAma paNa jJAta hatuM. eTale meM sahelo ilAja caNAno zodhyo. rAte sUtA pahelAM pAkA zera caNA zekAvIe. ne ame pAMca tathA mAjI ne pelo kUtaro - sAteya maLI samApta karIe. A garama caNA rAte khAvAnI asara keTalIka vAra udarazuddhinI dRSTie ThIka thatI to keTalIka vAra viparIta pariNAma paNa AvatuM, paraMtu dUdhanI gyA caNAe lIdhelI ne garama garama caNAno svAda paNa ajaba eTale te kAzI choDI tyAM sudhI saheje chUTyAM nahi. kUtarAne paNa garama garama caNA khAvAno evo abhyAsa paDelo ke ame ghaNI vAra parIkSA khAtara khAtA hoIe tyAre ene na nAMkhIe to te bhasAbhasa karI mUke ne baMdhanathI chUTI AvavAno prayatna kare. jyAre meM kAzI choDyuM tyAre paNa pAchaLathI . kUtarAno caNAno paDelo abhyAsa cAlu rahe te mATe ghaTatI vyavasthA karI hatI. hindI lekhanano abhyAsa upara pramANe sAdagI ane jAtamahenatanuM taMtra ThIka cAlatuM, paNa jyAre mane e taMtrano prANa to lekhananI sAdhanAno uddeza ja hato. je viSayanA saMskRta-prAkRta granthono anuvAda karavA huM icchato te anuvAdya viSayanI taiyArI to mArI ThIka ThIka hatI, paNa je bhASAmAM mAre anuvAda karavAno hato te hindI bhASAnI temaja lakhANanI kacAza have mane jaNAvA lAgI. meM kAzIne yu.pI.nAM bIjAM zaheromAM daza jeTalAM varSa to gALelAM ja. hindI bolavA ane samajavAnI zaktimAM kacAza na hatI, paNa kacAza hatI te to hindI bhASAnI zuddhinI ne paddhatisara lakhANa karavAnI. A kamI samajAI ke tarata ja tene dUra karavAnI taiyArI zarU karI. sArAM sArAM hindI vyAkaraNo ekatra karyA. nAmAMkita lekhako dvArA thayelA saMskRta ane aMgrejI granthonA hindI gadya-padya anuvAdo meLavyA.

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132 * mAruM jIvanavRtta navA jamAnAnI lekhanazailInuM pratibiMba pADatAM keTalAMka patra-patrikAo maMgAvavA lAgyo ne thoDAMka tevAM upanyAso paNa lAvyo. vyAkaraNanA vAcana dvArA bhASAnI zuddhiazuddhino viveka karavo ISTa hato. anuvAdo dvArA anuvAdanI zailI temaja tenA sauSThava viSenA saMskAro meLavavA ISTa hatA, ane patra-patrikA Adi dvArA bhASAnI rUDhio temaja saraLa vAkyazailI viSe jANakArI meLavavI iSTa hatI. A udeza mATe ThIka ThIka vAMcato. sAthe ja hindImAM lakhANano abhyAsa paNa karato ane lakhANanA viSayane aMge puSkaLa ciMtana manana paNa karato. A rIte vividha pravRttimAM rojanA ATha-nava kalAka to jatA ja. ekAMta ane zAnta guphAnI yAda Ape evI gaMgAtaTa upara AvelI eka rUmanuM bAraNuM baMdha karI besato ne uparano vyAyoga calAvato, paNa pahelAM upAdhyAya yazovijayajIno jJAnasAra' grantha hAthamAM lIdhelo. eno aSTakovAra anuvAda zarU karyo. savAre lakhuM te bapore punarvAcanamAM na game. bapore sudhAruM ke pharI lakhuM te vaLI bIje divase pasaMda na Ave. tene pheMkI daI pharI lakhuM ne vaLI te upara navA vicAro ne navI zailI sUjhe eTale te paNa jaLazaraNa thAya. Ama anekavAra brahmanI sRSTi banatI, rUMdhAtI, bagaDatI ane pheMkAtI, chevaTe jJAnasAranAM soLathI vadhAre aSTakono kAMIka saMtoSaprada savivecana anuvAda thayo tyAre kAMIka nirAMta vaLI. enA gujarAtI ane marAThI anuvAda karatAM sarakhAmaNImAM mAro hindI anuvAdaka ThIka thayo che evI eka lekhakamitre khAtarI ApI tyAre e kAma choDI huM mukhya dhyeya tarapha vaLyo. mitra vrajalAlajIe karelo prathama karmagranthano hindI anuvAda bhASAnI dRSTie mArA hindI anuvAda karatAM mane kaMIka sAro lAgyo eTale meM e anuvAda pAchaLa samaya gALavo mUkI daI AgalA karmagranthonA anuvAda, vivecanamAM samaya Apyo. cAra karmagrantho hindImAM taiyAra thaI gayA ne huM lakhI zakIza evI AtmapratIti paNa thaI. ahIM mAre kahI devuM joIe ke A cha mahinAnI sAdhanA daramiyAna beeka vAra niSphaLatA ane nirAzAnA AghAtoe temaja ati zramanA bhAre mane ekAMtamAM azrupAta paNa karAvelo, paraMtu jyAre mane kAMIka saphaLatAno AtmasaMtoSa thayo tyAre eno badalo maLI gayo che ema mane lAgyuM. taiyAra thayeluM meTara AgrA chApavA mokalI dIdhuM. kaThaNa ne jaTila gaNAtA pAMcamA karmagranthanA anuvAdanuM kAma hAthamAM lIdhuM. jema jema kAma karato jato tema tema vaktavyane pragaTa karavAnI navI navI ane saraLa rIto paNa sUjhatI jatI hatI. jyAre vadhAre sArI rIta sUjhe tyAre game teTalA zrame taiyAra thayeluM pahelAMnuM kAma rada karavAmAM mane lezapaNa saMkoca ke kSobha na thato. UlaTuM sArI zailI sUkyAno AnaMda thato. tethI ghaNI vAra eka ja gAthA ane eka ja saMdarbha upara nAnAvidha vivecanavALI noTo bharyo jato. Ama chaATha mahinA vItyA tyAM to navI ja dizA sAme AvI. .

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lekhanakAryano daDha saMkalpa * 133 pUnA javAnI taiyArI muMbaIthI zrImAna jinavijayajInI sabaLa bhalAmaNa sAthe cunIlAla kAnUnIno patra Avyo. te pUnA jaina chAtrAvAsanA maMtrI hatA. temanI IcchA hatI ke huM tyAM e - chAtrAvAsamAM rahetA ne judI judI anekavidha kaoNlejomAM bhaNatA vidyArthIone ekAda kalAka tattvajJAna Adi viSayone lagatuM roja kAMIka zikSaNa ApuM. bhAMDArakara, gokhale, tilaka ne karvenA pUnA viSe meM bahu sAMbhaLeluM ne vAMceluM. rAjakAraNanI dRSTie pUnA ja hindustAnanuM tIrthadhAma che evA matalabanI dezabaMdhu dasanI uktinI mArA upara chApa paDelI. navIna keLavaNInI dRSTie pUnA kAzIthI paNa caDI jAya che evI mArI dhAraNA paNa baMdhAyelI. saMskRta temaja prAcya vidyAonI daSTie kAzI pachI bIjuM sthAna pUnAnuM ja che evI sAcI ke khoTI mAnyatA paNa baMdhAyelI. A kAraNathI kyAreka pUnA rahevAnuM ane tyAM rahI marAThA temaja pezvAnA samayanA avazeSonuM adhyayana karavAnuM mana keTalAka vakhata thayA karatuM hatuM ja. tethI meM pUnA javAno mAro nirdhAra patralekhakane jaNAvI dIdho. ne kAzInI gharavakharI sameTavA tema ja pUnA javAnI taiyArI karavA lAgyo. esa. pI. zAha, narottama bhANajI ane paramANaMdabhAInuM kAzImAM Agamana A ATha mahinAnA kAzIvAsa daramiyAna traNa evI vyaktiono mane paricaya thayo ke, jemanI chApa mArA jIvanamAM agatyanuM sthAna dharAve che tethI eno ullekha atre Avazyaka cheH AI. sI. esa. zivalAla pAnAcaMda, kApaDiyA narottama bhANajI ane paramANaMda kuMvarajI A traNeya ociMtA ja eka divasa huM hato tyAM gaMgAtaTa upara jainamaMdiramAM AvI caDyA. esa. pI. zAha mArA vatananI najIka vaDhavANanA ne mArI nAtanA ja hatA. teo I. C. SnI parIkSAmAM ucca dhoraNe pAsa thayelA tyAre temanuM citramaya jagatamAM AveluM rekhAcitra vAMceluM. ethI vadhAre temano paricaya na hato. narottamabhAI pahelAM beeka vAra maLela, paNa temanI icchA chatAM meM temano vizeSa paricaya nahi sAdhelo. paramANaMdadAse potAnA kolejanA abhyAsa daramiyAna mUrtipUjA ane uttararAmacaritra viSe vivacanAtmaka be nibaMdho lakhelA te emanA pitAzrI kuMvarajIbhAIe mane bhAvanagaramAM jovA ApelA. e nibaMdho uparathI mane temanI pratibhA ane nirbhayatAnuM darzana to thayeluM, paNa temano koI khAsa paricaya thayelo nahi. maMdiranA AMgaNAmAM UbhA rahI gaMgAnuM dazya jotAM jotAM zrIyuta narottamabhAIe badhA sAthe mAro paricaya karAvyo ne sAthe ja AmaMtraNa ApyuM ke tame sAhebane baMgale jamavA Avajo. A vakhate zivalAlabhAI navA ja vilAyatathI AvelA. kAzImAM moTA amaladAra ne sAheba tarIke jANItA. sAhebanA ja pozAkamAM sajja ne potAnI patnI maNibahena sAthe sAhebI-chUTathI ja cAlatA. te kAraNe paNa kadAca makarImAM narottamabhAIe zivalAlabhAIne mArI sAme "sAheba" kahyA hoya. game tema hoya. huM bIje divase temane

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134 0 mAruM jIvanavRtta baMgale gayo. huM paMDita chuM ne paMDita to cokAvRttino ja hoya che. paMDita brAhmaNa sivAya bIjAnA hAthanuM jame paNa nahi AvI dhAraNAne lIdhe zivalAlabhAIe mArA mATe jamavAno prabaMdha rasoDAmAM brAhmaNa rasoI karato tyAM karelo ane teo badhA bIjA holamAM TebalakhurazI upara jamavA beThelA. rasoiyo bahu cabarAka hato. eNe paNa huM paMDita chuM mATe brAhmaNa ja hoIza ne cokAdharmI hoIza ema mAnI mane bahu kALajIthI, cokhkhAIthI ne AdarathI pIrasavA mAMDyuM. pIrasato jAya ne sAheba viSe TIkA paNa karato jAya. ene lAgyuM ke huM ene samAnadharmI maLI gayo chuM mATe sAhebonI chUTa viSe badho Ubharo kADhI zakIza. e kahe - juone paMDitajI ! A amArA sAheba pharavA jAya tyAre bairInA hAthamAM hAtha meLavI cAle. juone, A badhAM vilAyata jaI AvelAM. emane pIrasanAra je A badhuM khAvAnuM laI jAya che te musalamAna che ne joDA paNa kADhato nathI, paNa huM to pAko chuM. mArA dharmane jarAya AMca AvavA deto nathI. badhAne cokA bahAra UbhA rAkhIne ja ApavuM hoya te ApuM chuM. badhuM mUMge moDhe sAMbhaLato ane vacce vacce e mahArAjanI rAmAyaNa sAMbhaLavAno AnaMda lUMTavA ekAda prazna ene pUchI leto. bhojanano aMka to pUro thayo. traNa vAgyA ne cAno vakhata thayo. Tebala sajAyuM, khurazIo goThavAI. sAhebane zaMkA e hatI ke paMDita che mATe cA to pItA ja nahi hoya ! ne kAMIka nAsto ke phaLa leze toya temane khurazI to nahi ja 'kalapatI' hoya. paMDitane pATalo ja khapato haze. ema dhArI temaNe mane kahyuM ke, tamAre mATe aMdara ane kaho to ahIM pATalo naMkhAvuM. tame zuM lezo ? ityAdi. meM kahyuM - je levuM haze te khurazI upara besI A Tebala uparathI huM laI zakuM chuM. emAM pATalAnI ke rasoDAmAM javAnI zI jarUra che ? khurazI ne Tebala e to besavA ane jamavAnA pATalAno Adhunika vikAsa mAtra che. jarAka UMce besavAthI kAMIka adharma thoDo thAya che ane nIce besavAthI dharma thAya che ? ityAdi. mArA A kathane temano paMDitanA dharma viSeno bhrama bhAMgyo. temaNe kahyuM, meM to tamane paMDita gaNI savAre rasoDAmAM judI goThavaNa karelI. tame to paMDita chatAM apaMDita paNa cho. cA-nAsto ne hAsyavinoda traNenI gati samAna hatI. dharmanI vAta nIkaLI. sAhebe potAnI mAtAne nAnI uMmaramAM sthAnakavAsI paraMparAnuM pratikramaNa karatAM joyelAM ne temane e pratikramaNanA amuka pATho yAda rahelA, eTale temaNe e pAThonA uccAra sAthe pratikramaNano abhinaya karI dharmanA rUDhasvarUpano paricaya Apyo. ne hasAhasa cAlI. A vakhate zivalAlabhAI sAthe je paricaya zarU thayo te dhIre dhIre vadhato cAlyo. meM temanA vAMcavAnA Tebala upara aneka jaina pustako paDelAM joyelAM. te kahetA ke huM hajI to vAMcI rahyo chuM. vakhata pAse kAMIka lakhIza. tyAra bAda ame kAzI ne bhAvanagaramAM ghaNI vAra maLyA ne arasaparasa khUba carcAo paNa

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lekhanakAryano daDha saMkalapa * 135 karI. teo svabhAve bahu nikhAlasa ne buddhimAM tejasvI hatA. emaNe mane potAne tyAM kAnapura ne simalA AvavA paNa anekavAra kaheluM. zrIyuta narottamabhAI bahu udAra, milanasAra, vidyArasika ane Atithyapriya hatA. kAzImAM thayelA A samAgama pachI temanI sAthe mAro saMbaMdha uttarottara eTale sudhI vadhyo ke mArA ane temanA vacce paDadA jevuM na rahyuM. A vastunA keTalAka prasaMgo huM yathAkrame varNavavA dhAruM chuM. paramANaMdadAsa sAthe A vakhate je prAthamika paricaya thayo te to dhIre dhIre aneka daSTie jIvanavyApI banI gayo che ane Aja sudhI te vikasato ja rahyo che. tattvajJAna, sAhitya, samAja, rAjakAraNa Adi jIvanasparzI viSayomAM amArA baMnenAM mantavyo bahu saraLatAthI maLI jAya che ne saMvAdI banI jAya che.

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23. pUnAnA anubhavo pUnAmAM pravezatAM ja dhUrtano anubhava vi. saM. 1973nA ghaNuM karI aSADha suda bIjane divase ame kAzIthI UpaDyA. mArI sAthe haeNrajIvana ane harakhacaMda baMne hatA. sahyAdrinA pANI TapakatAM bugadAo nIcethI pasAra thatI Trenano vilakSaNa AnaMda anubhavatAM pUnA sTezana pahoMcyA. jyAre huM kAzI pahelavahelo gayelo tyAre eka sthAnakavAsI sAdhue vArANasI dhUrtavat" ema kaheluM tethI sTezana uparathI ja kAzInA dhUrtothI bacavAnI kALajI sevelI, paNa gokhale-tilakanA pUnAmAMya sTezana upara ja AvA lUTAruono bheTo thaze e to kalpanAya na hatI. TikiTacekare kahyuM - tame pustako bistarAmAM rAkhyAM che te to toLAvo. amane varasate varasAde toLAvavAmAM bahu hADamArI paDe tema hatuM. chatAM ame toLAvavA taiyAra thayA. daramiyAna eka majUre AvI kahyuM ke tame kAMIka ApI dyo ne ? zA mATe herAna thAo cho ? huM navAI pAmyo. hamaNAM to e toLAvavAnuM kahI rahyo che ne vaLI A kAMIka ApavAnuM kahe che eno zo artha ? majUre kahyuM - ATalI lAMbI saphara eTale vajana vadhaze to bahu ApavuM paDaze. tethI pAMceka rUpiyA ApI dyo eTale pate. meM toLIne ja vadhArAno cArja ApavAnI haTha lIdhI tyAre chevaTe sAmAna toLAyo ne mAre mAtra aDhI rUpiyA ApavA paDyA. A vakhate mane je herAnagati thaI te uparathI pUnAnA prathama praveze ja evo vicAra Avyo ke pUnAmAM zikSaNa ne rAjakAraNanuM dhoraNa UMcuM haze toya enI sAthe luccAInuM dhoraNa 52 UtaratuM nathI. - pUnA chAtrAlayamAM dharmazikSaNa rAhatuka2nA baMgalAmAM chAtrAlaya hatuM. tyAM paDAva karyo. vidyArthIo ghaNAkharA gujarAtI ja hatA. mAtra be-cAra dakSiNI kharA, paNa hatA badhA jaina. ame amArA kAzInA krama pramANe borDiMganA gRhapatine kahI dIdhuM ke amAre dUdha-ghI na joIe. ame mAtra anAja ne zAka ja vAparavAnA. vidyArthIonuM dhoraNa samabhAvI ne pakSapAta vinAnuM hovAthI gRhapatie kahyuM ke tame kevaLa anAja ne zAka lezo toya tamAre bhojanacArja varADe paDato saunA jeTalo ja Apavo paDaze. meM e kabUlI lIdhuM. ekAda mAsa pachI

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pUnAnA anubhavo * 137 mane ema lAgyuM ke A dhoraNa mArA pUratuM to ThIka che, paNa baMne sahacArIo vAsta e ThIka nathI. thoDAmAM nabhAvavuM e ja amArI sAdagIno uddeza che, nahi ke ghI-dUdhanI sAthe vera bAMdhavuM te. jyAre pUrA paisA ApavA ja paDe che to baMne sahacArIo dUdhaghI bhale le. A vicAra pramANe have huM ekalo ja lUkhuM khAnAra rahyo. meM mAro mukhya kAryakrama zarU karyo. enA be bhAga hatA. sAMje eka kalAka dharma ane tattvajJAna viSe eka kalAsa calAvavo ne bAkInA badhA vakhatamAM mAre potAnuM vAcanaciMtana-lekhana karavuM. vidyArthIo koI eka ja kaoNlejanA ke mAtra ArTasa kaoNlejanA na hatA. khetIvADI, injiniyariMga Adi kolejomAM bhaNanAra paNa keTalAka vidyArthIo hatA. saMskRta jANatA hoya evA to virala ja hatA. ne emAMya dharma tathA tattvajJAna viSe kAMIka mAhitI ke rasa hoya evA to bhAgye ja eka-be hatA. kakSAnA saMskAranA ane rucinA A zuMbhameLAne ekasarakhI rIte rasa paDe evo eka ja varga kema calAvavo e prazna mane ekAda divasa mUMjhavyo; paNa meM joyuM ke, vidyArthIo hAjarI to Ape che ne kAMIka Adara paNa dharAve che. A uparathI mane eka mArga sUjhI Avyo. meM kahyuM ke game te kolejano vidyArthI hoya ne jo te saMskRta zIkhavA mAMgato haze to tene huM judo svataMtra samaya ApI zIkhavIza. tema ja je vargamAM AvI zakato na hoya yA varganA sarva sAmAnya dhoraNa karatAM vadhAre UMDANathI zIkhavA icchato hoya yA huM jANato houM te viSayomAMthI koI paNa viSaya upara koI paNa pustaka vAMcavA mAgato hoya topaNa huM khuzIthI svataMtra samaya ApIza. Ane lIdhe mAruM, tema ja vidyArthIonuM ThIka-ThIka samAdhAna thayuM ne sarvasAmAnya eka dhoraNe varga calAvavAno mAro mArga paNa sApha thayo. eka bhAI bhaNatA to hatA injiniyariMga kolejamAM, paNa emane saMskRta zIkhavAno rasa. bIjA eka solApuravAsI bhAI, je digaMbara-paraMparAnA hoI pahelethI ja jaina dharma ne tattvajJAnane lagatuM ThIka-ThIka zIkhelA, temane mATe sarvasAmAnya varga UtaratI kakSAno hato. tethI teo svataMtrapaNe akalaMkanA rAjavArtika jevA grantho bhaNavA icchatA. meM sarvasAmAnya varga calAvavAnuM amuka dhoraNa to nakkI karyuM, paNa e dhoraNamAMya pAMca vidyArthIone rasa letAM karavAnuM kAma bhAre kaThaNa lAgyuM. temanI koI paNa jAtanI pUrvataiyArI nahi. kolejamAM temanA zIkhavAtA viSayo mArA klAsanA viSayathI sAva judA. ne vadhArAmAM vidyArthIonuM mAnasa te vakhate cAlatAM sAmAjika ane rAjakIya AMdolanomAMthI vyApeluM. AvI sthitimAM tattvajJAna ne paralokasparzI dharmanI sUkI vAtomAM temane rasa na paDe to temAM emano jarAya doSa kADhI zakAya nahi. eTale meM vaLI paDakhuM badalyuM. te vakhate misisa enI bisenTa ne tilakanI homarUla viSenI hilacAla pUravegamAM hatI. e ja viSayanAM chApAMo ne pemphaleTo hAthamAM paDe. havAmAM enI garamI jevI tevI na hatI. vidyArthIo hoya ke bIjo koI hoya - jyAM dekho tyAM - A ja laDAyaka vAtAvaraNanI carcA cAlatI. A uparathI mane sUjhayuM ke vargamAM umAsvAtinuM

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138 mAruM jIvanavRtta tatvArtha cAle che evI prathamanI jAherAtane anusarI e cAlu to rAkhavuM, paNa varganI 60 miniTamAMthI chellI pAMca-sAta miniTo ja sIdhI rIte tattvArthanuM sUtra samajAvavAmAM ApavI. te sivAyano lagabhaga 55 miniTa jeTalo samaya sAmAjika, rAjakIya, audyogika ane zArIrika Adi viSayomAMthI koI paNa eka viSayane laI tenI carcAmAM gALavo. carcA evI Dhabe zarU karavI ke chevaTe te te divasanA pAThamAM AvatA tattvArthanA sUtragata viSaya sAthe spaSTapaNe ne asaMdigdha rIte te carcAno meLa besI zake. carcA sAmAjika ke rAjakIya Adi viSaya upara thaI hoya toya temAM AdhyAtmika ane tattvajJAnanA muddAo kevI rIte ghaTI zake che e batAvavA huM prayatna karato. Ane lIdhe samayano moTo bhAga vidyArthIonA mAnasane potAnA nityaparicita viSayomAM ja rokI rAkhato ne thoDI ja miniTo emanA manane taddana navA ane sUkA dekhAtA viSayamAM rokatI. eTale vidyArthIone kaMTALo AvavApaNuM ne vargamAM rasa nathI paDato ema kahevApaNuM rahyuM ja nahi. UlaTuM temane ema jaNAtuM gayuM ke, dharma ane tattvajJAnamAM je je vastuo che te ja bIje nAme ne bIje rUpe vyavahAramAM kAma karI rahI che. dharma ne tattvajJAnanI tema ja vyavahAranI paribhASA judI eTaluM ja. kharI rIte Avo krama rAkhavA pAchaLa mAro uddeza e hato ke tattvArtha jevA zAstrIya jevA gaNAtA graMthomAM je vAto kahI che te badhI eka athavA bIjI rIte vidyArthIonA zIkhavAmAM ne vAMcavAmAM Ave ja che to te baMne vaccenI paribhASAnA bhedano ghaTasphoTa mAtra karavo. alabatta, Ane lIdhe zAstrIya viSayo UMDANathI na carcAtA, paNa emAM koI kaMTALatuM nahi e jevo tevo lAbha na hato. UMDANathI abhyAsa karanAra mATe to meM judI vyavasthA karI ja hatI. varga calAvavAmAM ane vidyArthIo sAthe carcAnI kustI karavAmAM mane pahelAM kadI nahi paDela evo rasa paDyo. meM joyuM ke kolejanA vidyArthIo aneka viSayo zIkhatA hoI temanuM sAmAnya jJAna uparachalluM chatAM vizALa hoya che ne teonI jijJAsA paNa baLavatI hoya che. vidyArthIo to jijJAsu uparAMta namra ane ziSTa paNa hatA. tethI varga levAmAM mane ora ja majA paDatI, paraMtu huM bhaNela jUnI Dhabe. zAstrIya jJAna game teTaluM meLavyuM hoya ne samAja, rAjakAraNa Adi upara thoDAMka chApAM vAMcyAM hoya tethI huM vizeSa taiyArI sivAya vargane saMtoSa ApI zakuM e saMbhava ja na hato. Ane lIdhe ne mArI potAnI svataMtra jijJAsAne lIdhe meM amuka viSayonI yAda karI tene lagatAM gujarAtI-hindI-marAThI pustako ne chApAM meLavavA tema ja vAMcavA mAMDyAM. samAjazAstrane lagatAM pustaka ke lekha maLe to eya te viSayone lagatuM sAhitya vAMcuM ne noMdho karato jAuM. rAjakAraNa to chApAMmAM ne havAmAM ja taratuM eTale tenuM sAhitya to vaMcAtuM ja. A rIte lagabhaga Akho divasa vividha vAcana ane noMdhaNImAM jAya ne sAMje vargamAM eno eka athavA to bIjI rIte upayoga thAya. ATalA chIcharA jJAnathI paNa huM to vargamAM sarvajJa banI jato. vidyArthIo saMtoSAtA e to sthULa lAbha hato, paNa sUkSma

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pUnAnA anubhavo - 139 ane kharo lAbha to mArI potAnI jijJAsAtRpti e hato. e divasomAM kesarI, jAgRti, Adi marAThI chApAMo ne samAjazAstra upara kALenuM pustaka tema ja aneka viSayo upara keLakaranA nibaMdho, bApaTe sAmAjika dRSTie gItAnuM ja karela bhASya ityAdi marAThI sAhitya jovA pAmyo. pro. Athavale sAtheno vidyAvinimaya varganuM taMtra niyamitapaNe ne saMtoSaprada rIte cAlatuM, paNa acAnaka lAbha to bIjo ja thayo. pUnA eTale saMskRti temaja vidyA2sanuM dhAma. vidyArthIo ne adhyApako koI navA mANasane Avelo jANI teno paricaya sAdhe ne temAM temane kAMI yogyatA lAge to teo madhapUDAnI AsapAsa mAkhIonI jema brAhmaNavRttithI tenI AsapAsa vIMTaLAya. atyAre esa.ela.DI. kaoNleja amadAvAdamAM saMskRtanA adhyApaka che te rAmacaMdra Athavale te vakhate tyAM saMskRtanA phelo hatA. amAro vyavahAra saMskRta bhASAnA mAdhyamathI zarU thayo. te eTalo ghaniSTha thayo ke te AgaLa jatAM amadAvAdamAM vidyAvinimayanI dRSTie aneka rIte vikasyo. Athavale kharI brAhmaNa vRttinA che. 1919nA zrAvaNa-bhAdrapada mAsamAM huM paganuM oparezana karAvI khurazIe paDyo raheto tyAre teo roja sakhata varasAdamAM hemacaMdranuM prAkRta vyAkaraNa atyaMta utsAhathI zIkhavA AvatA. ATalI jijJAsA, namratA ne parizramavRtti vyApArI jaina baccAmAM bhAgye ja joI che. I. sa. 1923-24nA ziyALAmAM kAma karI thAkI javAthI huM temane divase vakhata ApI na zakuM tyAre teo rAte mArI pAse sUvA Ave ne raMgagaMgAdhara bhaNavAnI vRtti saMtoSe. I. sa. 1926no unALo to amArA sahacArano eka suMdara adhyAya banI rahe che. temaNe M.A.nI parIkSA mATe jaina viSaya lIdho ne temAM AkhuM vizeSAvazyaka bhASya hatuM. amadAvAdamAM temanuM kAma sAdhuo pAse na saryuM tyAre teo rajAmAM lImalI mArI sAthe AvyA ne temaNe evo jJAnayajJa zarU karyo ke traNa-cAra aThavADiyAMmAM AkhuMya saTIka bhASya vAMcI kADhyuM. A joI pravartaka kAMtivijyajI Adi herata pAmyA, paNa meM jyAre pro. AthavalenI pUrvabhUmikA viSe kahyuM tyAre ja teonuM samAdhAna thayuM. e ja rajAmAM amadAvAda AvI emanA bhadra upara Avela makAnamAM pro. rAnaDenuM Constructive Survey of Upnishads e pustaka zarU karyuM. temAM e vaktA ne mArA uparAMta bIjA keTalAya mahArASTrIya vidvAno zrotA. AgaLa jatAM jyAre meM aMgrejI zIkhavuM zarU karyuM tyAre I. sa. 1931nA unALAmAM teo mane sonDaralenanuM "India in Bondages", al Intelligent Women's Guide to Sociaism pustaka vaMcAvatA. te pachI paNa amAro vidyArthIsaMbaMdha uttarottara puSTa ja thato gayo che, jene huM pUnAnA eka prAthamika samAgamanuM phaLa ja mAnuM chuM.

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140 * mAruM jIvanavRtta zrI trikamabhAI zAha ane pro. rasikalAla parIkhano paricaya pUnAmAM be mitro bIjA thayA, jemanuM sthAna mArA jIvanamAM bahu gauravAnvita che. temAMthI eka trikamalAla mahAsukharAma zAha, je te vakhate pharagyusana kaoNlejamAM gaNita laI bhaNatA ne AgaLa jatAM gUjarAta vidyApIThanA adhyApaka ane mahAmAtra thayA. huM temanI sAthe traNacAra varSa to satata rahyo chuM. emano ane mAro kAryapradeza judo hovA chatAM temanI mIThAze mane bahu hUMpha ApI che ane Aje paNa amArA vacce e ja mIThAza kAyama che. bIjA mitra thayA te rasikalAla choTAlAla parIkha. te vakhate teo pUnAmAM saMskRta laI B.A.mAM bhaNatA. paricaya thatAM ja ame ekabIjA pratye khUba AkarSAyA. baMneno viSaya eka ane jijJAsA paNa baMnenI utkaTa. teo prophesara guNe pAse pravacanasAra zIkhatA. jyAre emaNe mane vaMcAvavAnuM kahyuM tyAre meM tarata ja svIkAryuM. saTIka pravacanasAranA vAcane amane enA AdhyAtmika viSaya pramANe paraspara evA bAMdhyA ke e saMbaMdha zuddha AdhyAtmika nahi hoya toya te e dizAmAM che ema kahI zakAya. pUnA choDyA pachI amadAvAda jyAre jyAre jatAM-AvatAM UtaruM tyAre teo mane tyAM ja rahevA lalacAve ne aneka grantho vAMcavAnI yojanA sAme mUke, paNa e yoga to AgaLa jatAM, I. sa. 1921mAM ja Avyo. teo gUjarAta vidyApIThanA adhyApaka ne gujarAta purAtattva maMdiranA maMtrI hatA, huM paNa e saMsthAmAM joDAyo. amAro adhyayana, lekhana ne ciMtana viSayaka eTalo badho sahacAra vadhyo ke huM tene mArA jIvananI dhanya ghaDI lekhuM chuM. teo Aje gujarAta varnAkyulara sosAyaTInA Azraya taLe cAlatA bhoLAbhAI jesiMgabhAI insTiTyUTa ke jemAM ucca abhyAsa ne saMzodhananuM kArya thAya che tenA DirekTara che ane hajI paNa mane teo tyAM ja AvavA lobhAvI rahyA che. temanuM ghara e mAruM ghara banI gayuM che. pUnAnA samAgame temanI mitratAno je lAbha karAvyo che tenuM mUlya AMkavuM mArA mATe agharuM che ane vistRta varNana karavuM to tethIye vadhAre agharuM che. temanAM mAtA caMcaLabahena mane bahu zraddhAthI jotAM ne bhAI jeTalI mamatAthI ja vartatAM. temaNe mArI sagI bahena caMcaLanuM ja sthAna lIdhuM che ema mane haMmezAM lAgeluM. mAruM evuM koI lakhANa nahi hoya ke je chapAyA pahelAM rasikabhAInI najara nIce pasAra thayuM na hoya. emanI bahumukhI pratibhAe aneka bAbatomAM mane navesara vicAra karato paNa karyo che. tattvArthanuM gujarAtI vivecana ne 'sanmatinuM' bRhattara saMpAdana rasikabhAInI madadathI ja, che te sthitimAM pUrNatA pAmyAM che. pro. guNe, bhAMDArakara ane dharmAnanda kosaMbIno paricaya rasikabhAI pote to mitra banyA, paNa temaNe mane temanA adhyApaka guNe sAthe paNa meLavyo. guNe eTalA badhA bhalA, jijJAsu ane namra hatA ke teo mane pUnAmAM

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pUnAnA anubhavo * 141 ja rahI javA kahetA. bIjA sAdhAraNa vidyArthI ke adhyApakonA paricayanI vAta choDI dauM toya be vyaktio evI che ke jemano ullekha Avazyaka che. navayuganI vidyAmUrti DaoN. rAmakRSNa bhAMDArakaranuM nAma lAMbA vakhatathI sAMbhaLeluM. tethI temanA makAne darzanArthe gayo ne paMDita becaradAsanuM pustaka bhagavatIsUtra bhA - 1 bheTa tarIke ApavA laI gayo. temanA saujanyanI mArA upara bahu UMDI chApa paDI, paNa temanI ja najIkamAM rahetA pro. dharmAnaMda kausaMdhIjIne to vadhAre nikaTatAthI maLyo. kausaMbIjI te vakhate pharagyusana kaoNlejamAM pAlinA prophesara hatA. temane maLatAMveMta ja mAruM mana pAli bauddha vADmaya zIkhavAnI utkaTa vRtti saMtoSAtI hatI. ame tyAM sAthe ja rahetA. huM temanI pAse pAli vADmaya vAMcato. mAruM A vAcana ghaNA vakhata lagI cAlyuM. jyAre teo vidyApITha choDI raziyA gayA tyAre te baMdha paDyuM, paNa daivayoge pharI ame I. sa. 193435mAM hindu yunivarsiTImAM maLyA. A vakhate temanA chaye mahinAonA nivAsano upayoga karanAra ekamAtra huM ja hato. roja teo be kalAka Ave. huM tattvArthane kendramAM rAkhI tenA badhA ja viSayo viSe baudha vAmaya zuM kahe che athavA kevI carcA kare che te badhuM temane pUchuM ne teo bauddhapiTakonA AdhAre e viSe je kahe te granthane sthaLavAra lakhAvI lauM jethI kyAreka jaina ne bauddha AcAra-vicAra viSe tulanAtmaka nibaMdha lakhI zakAya tema ja tattvArthanI bauddha vADmaya sAthe avataraNo sahita tulanA karI zakAya. mAruM A dhyeya hajI mAtra kalpanAmAM ja che. joke te viSenAM TAMcaNo paDyAM che. kausabIjI kAMI paNa lakhe to mane vaMcAve ja. chelle chelle ahIM kAzImAM temaNe potAnAM be pustako pArzvanAthano cAtaryAma ne bodhisattva saMbhaLAvyAM. zrI kupAlANIno paricaya pUnA gayo na hota to AvAM madhura phaLo bhAgye ja lAdhata. kausaMdhIjIne ghera gayo tyAM aNadhArI rIte ja kRpAlANI maLyA. te vakhate teo gAMdhIjI sAthe pUnA AvelA. maLatAMveMta jaina samajI ahiMsAnI carcA zarU karI ne paricaya vadhyo. e paricaya teo vidyApIThamAM AvyA tyAra bAda bahu ja gADha thayo ne eTale sudhI madhura thato gayo che ke jyAM huM houM ane teo AvI caDe to avazya maLe ja. temanAM dharmapatnI sucetAbahena jyAre kAzImAM adhyApikA hatAM ne lagna karyA na hatA tyAre kRpAlANI ja temane mArI pAse lAvelA ne saMskRta zIkhavavA bhalAmaNa karelI. A kAraNe sucetAbahena paNa aMgata jevAM ja banI gayA che. jyAre vicAra karuM chuM tyAre ema lAge che A madhura phaLanI paraMparA pUnAnA e TUMkA vAsanuM ja pariNAma che. varasAda ekasAthe DhagalAbaMdha na paDe ne thoDo thoDo varasato paNa na aTake evI pUnAnI jharamirayA mosama rahyo tyAM lagI traNeya mahinAnA anubhavI. e vAtAvaraNa protsAhana ApatuM. ne dUdha-ghI jevAM poSaka dravyone abhAve zarIramAMthI khUTatI tAkAtanI

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142 - mAruM jIvanavRtta amuka aMze puravaNI paNa karatuM. macchara ne mAMkaDanA upadravano badalo to kudaratI ramya pradezomAM bhramaNa karavAthI maLI jato. khetaro ane TekarIo vacce bhavAnImaMdira ke caturbhujanuM maMdira che. vAcanano mAro ghaNo samaya tyAM vItato ane tethI thAka paNa ocho anubhavAto. gAMdhIjI sAthe carcA gokhalenA bhArata-sevakasamAjamAM eka vAra gAMdhIjI AvI caDyA. mArA paricita eTale temanI pAse laI javA vidyArthIoe mane kahyuM. huM gAMdhIjIne maLyo ke tarata ja temaNe pUchyuM ke tame ahIM cho? zuM karo cho? huM jaina dharmane lagatuM kAMIka A vidyArthIone zIkhavuM chuM ema meM kahyuM ke tarata ja temaNe potAnI lAkSaNika zailIe : smita karI "ema !" evo uccAra karI mane jaina paribhASAnA dravya-kSetra-kALa-bhAva e cAra zabdonI vyAkhyA karavA temaja moTarano tyAga hoya chatAM teno upayoga karavAmAM e paribhASA kAma ApI zake ke nahi ? eno khulAso karavA kahyuM. meM A prasaMganI carcA mArAM keTalAMka smaraNo e lekhamAM karI che ne te lekha "gAMdhIjInA samAgamamAM e pustakamAM prasiddha thayo che. mArA khulAsAthI bahu saMtoSa nathI thayo ema jANI meM ja temane enI vyAkhyA ne upayoga viSe pUchyuM. ane temaNe ghaTatuM kahyuM paNa kharuM. A vakhate gAMdhIjInI thelImAM paMDita gopAladAsa bariyAnuM jainasiddhAMta pravezika e pustaka hatuM. tenA vAcanane pariNAme temane Avo vyavahAru prazna udbhavelo. sAmAnya rIte moTaramAM na besavuM evo temano nizcaya haze, paNa misisa polAkane sTezane moTaramAM jAya to ja maLI zake eTalo ja samaya rahyo hovAthI temaNe A prazna pUchelo. sAmAnya rIte dharma ne tattvajJAnano dareka abhyAsI enI paribhASAo, enA zAbdika artho ne vistRta carcAo jANavAmAM masta rahe che paNa eno vyavahAru upayoga kyAreka ane kema thaI zake eno vicAra bhAgye ja koI kare che. A vastusthitinuM bhAna te vakhatanI gAMdhIjI sAthenI vAcacItathI mane thayuM. ne gAMdhIjInA jIvananI saphaLatAnI cAvI paNa dhyAnamAM AvI. gAMdhIjI dharma ane tattvajJAnano abhyAsa maulavI ke paMDitanI peThe nathI karatA, paNa teo ene jIvanta praznomAM lAgu karI sajIva banAve che. A vAta mane tyAM pahelavahelI ATalI spaSTatAthI samajAI. musApharImAM aneka kAmanA bhAranuM dabANa hoya tyAre paNa eka dhArmika pustaka thelImAM rAkhavuM ane teno artha jIvanadaSTie vicAravo evI sUjha gAMdhIjI sivAya bIjAmAM bhAgye ja haze. taLegAMvanI yAtrA - gujarAta ane mahArASTra traNa mahinA vItyA tyAM to Aso zukalamAM pUnA choDavAno prasaMga Avyo. meM karmagranthonA anuvAdanuM je meTara AgrA chApavA mokaleluM te barAbara zuddha ane sArI rIte nathI chapAtuM ema pUpho uparathI jANyuM eTale nakkI karyuM ke karelI mahenata barAbara

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pUnAnA anubhavo 0 143 bara nathI AvatI to pUnA choDavuM. pUnA choDavAno vicAra karuM chuM tyAM to be mitro bhagavAnadAsa ane prabhudAsa pArekha pUnA AvI caDyA. mULe gujarAtI, paNa mahArASTramAM vasI gayela evAM be jaina kuTuMbanA chokarAo huM hato te chAtrAlayamAM bhaNatA. temanA AgrahathI temanuM gAma taLegAva jovA ame badhA UpaDyA. taLegAMva e saMtarAnA bagIcAonuM ja gAma che ema tyAM gayA pachI jANyuM. je yajamAnane tyAM ame UtarelA tenA bagIcAmAM ekasAthe jiMdagImAM kadI nahi cUsela hoya eTalA saMtarA ame saue caDasAcaDasIthI cUsyAM. eka pUruM na cusAya tyAM to yajamAna ema kahIne bIjuM sAme dhare ke A vadhAre mIThuM nIkaLaze. ame parIkSA karavAmAM pAchaLa na paDyA. meM to kerIo ane jAMbuDAo viSe Avo anubhava siMhavADA ane darabhaMgA vacce mithilAmAM paNa karelo te vakhate paNa raste cAlatAM sahacArI lAbhacaMda brahmacArI ema kahe ke, paMDitajI e kerI pheMkI do. A vadhAre pAkI ne mIThI che. e jAMbuDAM karatAM A vadhAre sAruM che. A ja khAo, ityAdi paNa taLegAMvanI smaraNIya vastu to bIjI ja hatI. gujarAtI ane jaina chatAM temanI khAnapAna viSenI cokasAI tema ja pIrasavAnI sughaDatA joI tyAre ema lAgyuM ke AvAM kuTuMbomAM je audArya ane cokhkhAIno subhaga meLa dekhAya che te gujarAta ane mahArASTranA saMskAronA suMdara saMmizraNanuM pariNAma che. gujarAtanI Atithya udAratA, mahArASTranI svacchatA ane sughaDatAthI kharakhara dIpI UThatI dekhAI. taLegAMvanA pravAse mahArASTranA eka gAmaDAno sukhada piracaya karAvyo. tyAM eka rAjavijayajI nAmanA zvetAMbara sAdhu hatA. temane maLavAno uddeza paNa hato. mahArASTramAM pratiSThita thayelA e ekalavihArI sAdhu AgaLa jatAM 60 varSathI moTI uMmare pahoMcyA pachI pUnAmAMthI eka vidhavA bAIne laI rAte gupta rIte TrenamAM besI kyAMya cAlyA gayA e samAcAra jyAre jANyA tyAre e anubhava pAko thayo ke, ghaNAkharA zithilAcArI ne ciratrabhraSTa sAdhuo ne jAtio bIjA pradezamAM thatA apamAnathI bacavA ne pratiSThApUrvaka dharmano dhaMdho calAvavA mahArASTrano Azraya le che. zrI ramaNIkabhAI modIno sAtha pUnAthI prasthAna karI vijayA dazamIe AgrA pahoMcyo ne chApavAnuM kAma hAthamAM lIdhuM. huM dekhuM nahi ne baMne sahacArIo chokarA tema ja binaanubhavI hatA eTale zuddha ane suMdara chapAvavAno manoratha siddha thato na dekhAyo. have mArI najara koI bIjA yogya mANasane zodhavA tarapha vaLI. zrIyuta ramaNIkalAla modIne paNa mArI sAthe AvI rahevuM ne zAstra parizIlana vadhAravuM iSTa hatuM. tethI teo divALInI rajA daramiyAna AvI AgrA joI gayA. chevaTe rahevAnuM nakkI karI potAnI dharmapatnI tArAbahenane paNa laI AvyA. have amAro saMgha amArI DhabanA AzramajIvanamAM ja pheravAI gayo. ne vi. saM. 1974thI eka navA ja jIvanamArga upara cAlavAnI taka maLI.

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14 - mAruM jIvanavRtta pUnAnA keTalAka vidyArthIo pUnAmAM huM je dharma ane tattvajJAnano varga calAvato temAM dareka zrotA ke vidyArthInI icchAnusAra prazno karavAnI chUTa hatI. Ane lIdhe vargamAM ghaNI vAra bahu AkarSaka bauddhika vAtAvaraNa jAmatuM. ne huM vidyArthIo sAthe vadhAre tAdAbhya keLavI zakato. keTalAka vidyArthIo to eTalA badhA mamatALu banelA ke tyArapachI AjalagI teo jyAre ane jyAM maLe che tyAre ane tyAM e bhUtakAlIna vAtAvaraNane yAda karatAM ame thAkatA ja nathI. injiniyariMga kolejamAM bhaNatA lIMbaDIvALA saubhAgyacaMda, khetIvADI kaoNlejamAM bhaNatA aMbAlAla tribhuvana, talakacaMda ne cImanalAla narasiMha. je Aje eka athavA bIjI jagyAe bahu sArA khAtAmAM goThavAyelA che teone maLatAM Aje mane kuTuMbameLAno bhAsa thAya che. pUnAmAM calAvelA varganuM ja e pariNAma che ema kahevuM joIe. meM pUnAmAMthI vidAya lIdhI tyAre badhA ja paricitoe eTalI badhI hArdika mamatA banAvI ke ghaDIbhara to huM vicAramAM ja paDI gayo ke AvA jijJAsu maMDaLane choDIne javuM ke nahi ? paraMtu eka vidyArthI, je haMmezAM klAsamAM mauna rahetA temaNe e vakhate vidAyagIrInA meLAvaDAmAM varga calAvavAnI pAchaLa raheluM mAruM daSTibiMdu barAbara spaSTa karyuM te joI mAruM dhyAna temanA pratye AkarSAyuM. temaNe kahyuM ke, "huM haMmezAM klAsamAM Avato ne joto ke paMDitajI calAve che to tattvArthasUtra paNa lagabhaga paMcAvana miniTa to bIjA viSayo ja carce che. Ama kema ? paNa huM dhIre dhIre samajI gayo ke adhikAravALA ane adhikAra vinAnA badhA ja vidyArthIone ekasarakhI rIte rasa paDe tema ja tattvArthasUtranA viSayo cAlu jIvananA prazro dvArA carcAI buddhigamya bane e ja paMDitajInuM dRSTibiMdu che. A vidyArthI te vAlajI gAMdhI. te mULa gujarAtI chatAM dakSiNamAM solApura jaI vaselA. eTale marAThI ja gaNAya. teo digaMbara hovAthI nAnI uMmarathI ja tattvArthasUtra, tenI TIkA sarvArthasiddhi Adi grantho bhaNelA. huM pahelAM jene viSe ema kahI gayo chuM ke eka bhAI rAjavArtika zIkhavA icchatA te A ja. emano zAstrIya adhikAra bIjA badhA vidyArthIothI ghaNo caDiyAto hato, kAraNa ke temanI pUrvataiyArI ghaNI sArI hatI. zrInemacaMda gAMdhI ane temanA brAhmaNa paMDita vAlajI gAMdhIe solApura potAnA moTAbhAI nemacaMda, je hajI paNa hayAta che ne gaye varase ja mane muMbaI maLI gayA temane sUcavyuM ke ahIM eka kAzIthI paMDita Avela che, je tamArI zAstrIya zaMkAonuM nivAraNa karaze. nemacaMdabhAI potAnI sAthe eka vRddha brAhmaNa paMDitane laI pUnA AvyA. e paMDita temanA gharapaMDita ja hatA ne gharanA saune digaMbara zAstro bhaNAvatA. paMDita jAte brAhmaNa, saMskAro paNa brAhmaNa - paraMparAnA ne haMmezAM kAma kare jaina kuTuMbamAM. jeno paMDita pAse potAnA zAstro ati

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pUnAnA anubhavo. 145 zraddhAthI bhaNe. paMDitane e zAstro bhaNAvatAM manamAM keTalAya prazno UThe, paNa jo te bhaNanAra ati zraddhALu jaino samakSa rajU kare to jaino paMDita viSe ema dhAre ke A to brAhmaNa hoI chevaTe jainagranthomAM doSa ja jue che. potAnA nabhAvanA2 jaina ziSyonuM mana dUbhavavuM paMDitane na pAlave tethI te potAnA badhA ja prazno manamAM zamAvI le; ne ziSya jainone ruce tevuM ja kahe. Avo krama lAMbA vakhata sudhI cAlyo haze e vAta huM paMDitanA prazno u52thI tarata kaLI gayo. zarUAtamAM e brAhmaNa paMDita mane jaina samajI keTaluMka pUchatAM acakAyA ke rakhe sukhalAlajI paNa jaina hoI mane brAhmaNane virodhI to nahi gaNe ? paNa emaNe jyAre joyuM ke huM to temanA aMtaramAMthI parANe prazno kaDhAvuM chuM tyAre lAMbA vakhatathI gUMgaLAtuM mana khulluM karyuM. teo prazna kare ane huM jainadarzana temaja anya darzanonI dRSTie mane sUjhe teno javAba ApuM. ne aitihAsika temaja tAttvika dRSTie khulAso karuM tyAre temanuM kAMIka samAdhAna thatuM joyuM. mArA javAbamAM ghaNI vAra evI vAta paNa AvatI ke jemAM rUDhicusta jainone AghAta paNa thAya. A carcA daramiyAna paMDita sAthe nemacaMdabhAI paNa besatA. AkhI jiMdagI sudhI ati sAMpradAyika rUDha dRSTie zAstra bhaNavA ane samajavAnA saMskAra keLavela nemacaMdane ghaNI vAra mArA javAbathI navAI UpajatI. temane zarUAtamAM ema lAgatuM haze ke sukhalAlajI zvetAMbara hoI digaMbara grantho viSe kAMIka ghasAtuM to nahi bolatA hoya ? te pote mArI dRSTine barAbara nyAya ApavA jeTalI yogyatA dharAvatA nahi eTale temane ghaNI vA2 mArA javAbothI mUMjhavaNa UbhI thatI, paNa temanA ciraparicita ne ati vizvAsI e vRdgha paMDita jyAre kahe ke A javAba ja mane kharo lAge che tyAre nemacaMdanI zraddhA kAMIka aMze mArA tarapha DhaLI, nemacaMda pAkA vepArI ane rUDha digaMbara eTale bhIru mananA temaja sthULa samajaNavALA. kuLazraddhAe ja temane zAstrAbhyAsa tarapha vALelA che ema mane lAgyuM, paNa paMDita vadhAre samajaNA temaja utkaTa jijJAsu, temane ghaNI vAra mArI pAsethI cAlu brAhmaNa paraMparA viruddha paNa sAMbhaLavAnuM maLatuM. zarUAtamAM to tethI temane kAMIka AghAta thato haze, paNa dhIre dhIre e samajI gayA ke huM temane koI saMpradAyane vaza thaI Ama ke tema nathI kaheto. tethI teo vadhAre AkarSAyA ne mane pUchyuM ke jo ame AgrA AvIe to tame vakhata Apazo ? meM bahu khuzIthI hA pADI. huM to AgrA pahelo pahoMcI gayo, paNa nemacaMda e paMDita sAthe ekAda mahinA bAda AgrA pahoMcyA. nemacaMda jijJAsu hatA te karatAM bhIru vadhAre. tethI huM raheto te makAnamAM rahe ne mArI pAse bhaNatAM emane manamAM ema thayA karatuM ke A vAta digaMbara paMDito na jANe to sAruM. paMDita pote svabhAve satyajijJAsu tethI temane eTalo badho Dara to nahi chatAM solApuramAM gayA pachI digaMbara paMDito dvArA vagovaNI thavAno ne

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146 * mAruM jIvanavRtta AjIvikA upAra tarApa paDavAno kAMIka Dara to hato ja. A rIte AgrAmAM teo thoDAka divasa rahyA. 5. vaMzIdharano paricaya daramiyAna vaMzIdhara paMDita, je hamaNAM paNa solApuramAM che te acAnaka AvI caDyA. emane joI pelA nemacaMda to DarI ja gayA. temane ema thayuM ke vaMzIdharajI mAre viSe zuM kaheze ne zuM lakhaze? zvetAMbara manAtA eka paMDita pAse nemacaMda AgrAmAM zIkhatA hatA evI jAherAta vaMzIdhara kare to temacaMdanI AstikatA ne ijjata dhULamAM maLe. tethI vaMzIdharane jotAMveMta ja nemacaMde peMtaro badalyo ne kahyuM ke ame to yAtrA karavA AvyA chIe. ahIM sagavaDa joI rahyA chIe, ItyAdi. paMDita vaMzIghara mArA . paricita hatA. eTale teo mane AdarathI maLe e dekhItuM ja hatuM. bIjI bAju nemacaMdane bahAra laI jaI temaNe bIjI jagyAe sagavaDapUrvaka rahevAnI goThavaNa karyAnuM paNa kahyuM haze. jema jema A sAMpradAyikatAnuM nATaka huM joto hato tema tema mane vadhAre samajAtuM hatuM ke satyanI zodhamAMthI utpanna thayela ne tenI puSTine arthe cAlu thayela saMpradAyo pote ja kevI rIte satyanI ADe AvI rahyA che ! A samajaNathI ekaMdara mArI hiMmata ane nirbhayatA to vadhye ja jatAM hatAM, jeNe mane sAMpradAyAtIta thavAmAM bahu madada karI che. ne te ja dRSTie A prasaMga huM noMdhI rahyo chuM, paNa A nATaka bIjI rIte duHkhAnta nIvaDyuM. vRddha paMDitane zaradI thaI. meM nemacaMda ane temanI patnIne kahyuM ke jyAM lagI zaradI na maTe tyAM lagI emane koI paNa jAtanuM anna na Apazo kema ke A pradezamAM zaradI ane tAvamAM laMghana ja hitAvaha nIvaDe che, paNa huM na jANuM tevI rIte e paMDitano ati Agraha joI nemacaMdanI patnIe temane kaDhI vagere kAMI khAvA ApyuM. sau rAte nirAMte sUI gayA, paNa pelA paMDita to eTalI badhI nirAMte sUtA ke pachI UThavApaNuM ja na rahyuM. savAre jotAM ja saune acaMbo lAgyo, duHkha thayuM ne tyAMthI ja nemacaMdanuM bhIru manathI bhaNavAnuM nATaka paNa pUruM thayuM. zrI sumatibahenanI yAda e vakhate nemacaMdanI je chokarI sAva nAnI hatI te hamaNAM mane muMbaImAM maLI gaI. meM jANyuM ke solApura zrAvikAzramanI adhiSThAtrI kumArI sumati e to AgrAmAM sAthe hatI te nemacaMdanI bAlikA che tyAre bhAratIya vidyAbhavanamAM beThAM beThAM 28 varSa pahelAMnuM e duHkhAtta nATaka tAdaza khaDuM thayuM. sumati brahmacAriNI che ne zAstrAbhyAsa tema ja Azrama saMcAlanamAM zAMta jIvana vyatIta kare che, paNa meM joyuM ke enA tyAgI ane zAstrAbhyAsI jIvanane kuLaparaMparAgata saMkucitatAnA ne bhirutAnA saMskAre Avarela che tyAre sAMpradAyikatAnAM ghAtaka tattvo viSenI mArI prathamanI mAnyatA vadhAre daDha thaI che.

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24. punaH AgrAmAM zrI zItalanAthajInuM maMdira AgrA rozana mahollA)nI e jANItI jaina dharmazALAmAM amAro paDAva hato. enI taddana najIkamAM jaina upAzraya tema suprasiddha zItalanAthanuM maMdira AveluM che. ne najIkamAM ja akabare baMdhAvela motI masjida AvelI che. e upAzrayanuM makAna jainAcArya hIravijayasUrine akabare bheTa ApeluM kahevAya che. e maMdiramAM mukhya nAyaka zItalanAthajInI atibhavya mUrti to che ja, paNa emAM paccakArInI kArIgarIvALI IndranI eka bhavya mUrti paNa che. IndranI A mUrti uparanuM pathyakArI kAma zrIcandra nAmano brAhmaNa kArIgara keTalAMya varSothI karato Avyo che. te kArIgara 'sikaMdarA ane tAjamahela' jevI jagamazahUra ImAratomAM kAma karela kArIgarono vaMzaja hoI kuLagata niSNAtatA dharAve che. paththarazilpa ane paccakArInA kAmamAM zrIcandranI hatharoTI eTalI badhI sArI che ke te koI paNa bhASAnA akSaro jANe tajjJa hoya tevI rIte paththara upara hUbahU ane suMdara kotare che. ne tevA namUnAone deza-videzanA yAtrIo kharIdI paNa jAya che. jyAre meM zrIcandra dvArA tenA bApa-dAdAono itihAsa sAMbhaLyo tyAre mAro e bhrama bhAMgI gayo ke brAhmaNo to mAtra zAstranirmAtA hoya che. alabatta, aneka viSayonAM zAstro lakhavAmAM brAhmaNakuLano moTo hisso che chatAM teNe aneka jAtanAM zilpa-karma kheDavAmAM paNa potAnI janmajAta buddhino ThIka ThIka upayoga karyo che. A vastunI vadhAre pratIti to tyAre thaI, jyAre mane zilpakamAM ne zAstrajJa somapuriyA brAhmaNono paricaya thayo ne temano thoDoka itihAsa, kuMbhAriyAmAM jANyo. amAru rasoDuM H zrI ramaNIkabhAI modI Adi huM ane ramaNIkalAla be mukhya hatA; amArI AsapAsa je maMDaLa ekatra thayuM hatuM tenA sabhyonI saMkhyA paMdarathI kyAreya vadhI na hatI. emAM traNa baheno paNa hatI. eka to tArAbahena ramaNIkalAla modI ane bIjI be mArI kizora bhatrIjIo. gujarAta, mALavA, paMjAba ne yu.pI. ema cAra bhinna bhinna pradezanA sabhyo hatAM. amArA be sivAya badhA ja judI judI kakSAnA vidyArthIo hatA. koI skUlamAM bhaNatA to koI khAnagI. rasoDuM amAruM saMyukta hatuM. dhoraNa sAdagInI ne jAtamahenatanI daSTie rAkheluM

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148 0 mAruM jIvanavRtta tethI koI nokara na rAkhatAM badhAM kAmo aMdaroaMdara ja vaheMcI patAvI letA. eka brAhmaNI rasoI karatAM loTa temaja kaNikano piMDo corI paherela kapaDAmAM saMtADI laI jatAM ekathI vadhAre vAra pakaDAI gaI na hota to te noka2 vinA nabhAvavAnA amArA vicArano apavAda jarUra banata. ghI-dUdha vinA calAvavAnI prathA to ame zarU karI, paNa tene TheTha sudhI (I. sa. 1920nA unALAmAM ame badhA vIkharAyA tyAM sudhImAM) mArA sivAya bIjuM koI anusaryuM nahi. amArI e prathA aicchika hoI koIne baMdhanakartA na ja hatI. jAtamahenata, karakasara ane sAdAIno prayoga huM e prathAne eTalA vakhata lagI vaLagI rahyo tenI pAchaLa paNa mAro koI AdhyAtmika hetu na hato. bauddhika pravRttine te Arogyane nukasAna pahoMcADyA sivAya ochAmAM ochA keTalA kharce jIvana TakAvI zakAya che e ja A prayogono mukhya uddeza hato. pariNAme e prayoganA lAbhAlAbha baMne mArA pUratA to meM anubhavyA. prAcIna granthomAM RSionA sAttvika bhojana tarIke varNavAyela yAjJAna (java ane bhAta) tema ja zAkanA bhojanathI mAruM zarIra taddana halakuMphUla rahetuM ne ghI-dUdha jevI cIjonA mAdaka kepha vinA ja huM jamIne paNa tarata ja vAcana, ciMtana ne lekhananA kAmamAM parovAI jato. lagabhaga badho vakhata mananI sAttviktA paNa khUba sacavAtI. A lAbha te vakhate mArI dRSTie jevo-tevo na hato, paNa enI sAthosAtha mArA zarIra upara mAThI asara paNa thaI rahI hatI. juvAnI ne saMkalpanA vegane lIdhe meM e mAThI asaranI paravA na karI paNa chevaTe e tarapha dhyAna ApavAnI mane pharaja to paDI ja. pahelethI harasa hatA ja ne have eNe ugra rUpa dhAraNa karyuM. harasanI e ja ugratAe AgaLa jatAM mane ghIdUdhanA sevana dvArA zaktipUrti karavA lalacAvyo. huM ema cokkasa mAnuM chuM ke, harasanI ugratA te java vagerenA sAdA temaja zuSka bhojanane AbhArI na hatI, paNa tenuM mULa kAraNa to vadhAre paDatI bauddhika pravRtti ne lAMbA vakhata lagI eka ja Asane besI kAma karyAM karavuM te hatuM. mukhya lobha bauddhika pravRttino hato tethI harasane lIdhe paDatA ghasArAnI puravaNI mATe dUdha-ghInA parimita sevana sivAya bIjo upAya ja na hato. maMDaLanA bIjA sabhyo to temane soMpeluM game te zArIrika kAma karI zake; paNa mAruM zuM? tethI meM rasoDAnAM sAmUhika vAsaNo UTakavAnuM sagavaDiyuM kAma mAthe lIdhuM. ramaNIkalAla ne huM baMne maLI game teTalAM ane game tevAM sAmUhika vAsaNo bahu cokasAIthI vinodapUrvaka mAMjI nAMkhatA. amane AvuM kAma ka2tAM joI badhA vidyArthIone paNa potapotAnA bhAge AvatAM judAM judAM kAmo karavAmAM na hINapata lAgatI ke na kaMTALo Avato. jAtamahenatanA A prayoga daramiyAna meM eTaluM anubhavathI joI lIdhuM ke, mANasa dhAre to potAne phALe AvatAM keTalAMya kAmo karavA chatAM jarA paNa khalela pahoMcavA dIdhA sivAya potAnI bauddhika pravRtti ThIka ThIka karI zake che ne gapagoLA tema ja aniyamitatAmAM veDaphAtA samayano kAryasAdhaka upayoga karI zake che.

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punaH AgrAmAM * 149 karmagranthonI prastAvanAnuM lekhana mAruM dhyeya ane mArA mukhya rasano viSaya to bauddhika pravRtti ja hatI. bIjAM dhULa ane bAhya taMtramAM game te pheraphAra ke ghaTADo - vadhAro karavo paDe tenI mane kAMI paDI na hatI, paNa jo svIkArela bauddhika pravRttimAM kAMI kacAza ke UNapa rahe to tene nabhAvI levA mAruM mana taiyAra na hatuM. tethI sUjha pramANe bauddhika pravRtti pUrA vegathI cAlatI. A vakhate mArI e pravRttinA mukhya traNa bhAga hatA. 1. lakheluM chapAvavuM, 2. navuM lakhavuM ane 3. te arthe puSkaLa vAMcana-ciMtana karavuM. ramaNIkalAla AvyA eTale kAzImAM anuvAda karI chApavA AgrAmAM mokalelA traNa karmagrantho chapAvavAnuM kAma zarU karyuM. have prastAvanA lakhavAno prazna sAme Avyo. gItArahasyano namUno sAme hato ja. tethI karmatattva ane karmazAstra viSe aneka muddAone sparzatI tenA jevI vistRta bhUmikA lakhavI evo vicAra mane ubhavyo hato. te pramANe meM zvetAMbara-digaMbara paraMparAnAM chapAyela badhAM ja karmaviSayaka pustako tattva ane itihAsanI dRSTie vAMcI kADhyAM. noMdha paNa DhagalAbaMdha karI, paraMtu kyAreya ATalI moTI svataMtra prastAvanA nahi lakhelI eTale mUMjhavaNa UbhI thaI ke, A noMdhonA DhagalAmAMthI zuM levuM ane zuM choDavuM ? kyA kyA muddA upara lakhavuM ane kevI rIte lakhavuM? yamunAnA kinAre Avela bharatapura mahArAjanI koThInA tema ja tAjamahelanA bagIcAnA zItala ekAnta ne vasanta samIra dhIre dhIre madade AvyA ne mUMjhavaNamAMthI mArga sUjhato gayo. seMkaDo pAnanI gItArahasya jevI lAMbI prastAvanA lakhavAno taraMga choDI sAva madhyama mArge vaLyo; ne pahelA karmagranthanI prastAvanA lakhI kADhI. joke prastAvanA vAste lakhI rAkhela ghaNAM prakaraNo ane caMcaNo keTaloka vakhata sAcavI pheMkI dIdhAM, paNa e lakhANo ane TAMcaNoe svataMtra lakhavAno ane AgaLa upara A dizAmAM kAma karavAno AtmavizvAsa utpanna karyo. anuvAdo to kAzImAM karyA ja hatA, paNa amuka viSayanA sAhityanuM dohana karI jyAre sAragarbhita prastAvanA lakhI tyAre mane eTalI pratIti thaI ke sanmitre mArA viSe je abhiprAya bAMdhyo hato te A prayatnane lIdhe khoTo Tharyo che. ne emane mArA viSe abhiprAya badalavo paDe te mATe karelo mAro prayatna amuka aMze saphaLa paNa thayo che. pahelA karmagranthanI e vakhate je prastAvanA lakhAI tenuM mUlyAMkana to tenA abhyAsIoe karyuM ja haze, paNa AgaLa jatAM jyAre meM joyuM ke gujarAtamAM keTalAka suyogya saMpAdako ne anuvAdakoe mane pUchIne ke pUchyA vagara tema ja mArA nAmano ullekha sudhdhAM karyA sivAya mArI prastAvanAno sArabhAga laI lIdho che tyAre eTaluM to samajAyuM ke enI pAchaLa karelo zrama vyartha nathI gayo. pahelAM karmagranthanI prastAvanAe bIjA ane trIjA karmagranthanI prastAvanAno mArga bahu saraLa karI nAMkhyo hato. tethI te kAma patAvavAmAM bahu vAra na lAgI. A traNa karmagranthone lagatAM je pariziSTo karavAM paDyAM teNe

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150 * mAruM jIvanavRtta pariziSTonI upayogitAnuM vadhAre bhAna karAvyuM ne e kAma karavAnI vadhAre AvaData paNa keLavI. cothA karmagranthanA pariziSya sAnuvAda traNa karmagranthonA saMpAdana tathA mudraNe kAmanI navIna dizA ja sujhADI. je tAlIma koI saMsthA ke guru pAsethI maLI ja na hatI te pratyakSa kAma karavAthI maLatI lAgI ne bevaDo utsAha vadhyo. ema to cothA karmagranthano hindI anuvAda paNa presamAM chApavA apAyo hato paNa navI sUjhe mane kahyuM ke, tuM, ene lakhela che te karatAM Ane bIjI rIte taiyAra kara, pahelAM karela zrama ne kharca nakAmo jaze evI leza paNa ciMtA na kara to A navI rItanuM lakhANa vaLI tane AgaLa vadhavAnI tAlIma Apaze. ramaNIkalAlane paNa navI sUjha pasaMda AvI ne ame pahelAMnuM badhuM lakhANa rada karI taddana navesara cothA karmagranthano pharI anuvAda karavA maMDyA ne pariziSTonI taiyArI karavA lAgyA. mULa karmagranthanuM kada kAMI moTuM na kahevAya, paNa emAM saMkhyAbaMdha jaina pAribhASika zabdo Ave che. mahattvanAM lagabhaga badhAM ja paribhASika zabdone lakSI ame aneka pariziSTo lakhyAM. upalabhya samagra jaina vAmane AdhAre pratyeka zabdano pAribhASika arthavikAsa e pariziSTomAM darzAvavAmAM Avyo che. jaina pAribhASika kozano saMkalpa A pariziSTa taiyAra karavA vAste je vizALa vAcana ane ciMtana karavuM paDyuM teNe vaLI grantha taiyAra karavAnI navI sUjhamAM kaMIka umero karyo tathA navuM ja sAhitya taiyAra karavAnI yojanAo paNa sujhADI. prastAvanA sivAyanuM cothA karmagranthane lagatuM samagra meTara taiyAra thayuM, paNa sUjhelI navI yojanA pramANe eka navA ja kAma tarapha ame vaLyA. yojanA e hatI ke eka vizvakoza jevo jaina pAribhASika zabdakoza svataMtrapaNe taiyAra karavo, jemAM jaina paraMparAnA samagra viSayone sparzatI badhI ja paribhASAonA arthataronuM varNana aitihAsika temaja tulanAtmaka dRSTie karavuM. kendrasthAne jaina paribhASAne rAkhI tenA sthAnamAM bauddha ne vaidika darzanomAM kaI kaI paribhASAo che ne e badhI paribhASAo vacce zAbdika ke Arthika keTakeTaluM aMtara che ne e aMtara kyA kAraNe uddabhavyuM che e badhuM yojanAgata pAribhASika zabdakozamAM darzAvavuM jethI samagra bhAratIya AcAravicAranI paraMparAonuM sAmya-vaiSamya aitihAsika kame jANavuM sulabha bane. - tattvArthasUtra e eka rIte samagra jaina paribhASAono saMgrahagrantha che. jemAM tenI pUrvabhUmikA jAra varSanA bhUtakALane Avare che tema teno uttarakAlIna vikAsa paNa

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punaH AgrAmAM - 151 hajArathI vadhAre varSone sparze che. temAMya tattvArthanI rAjadhArtika TIkA amane evI lAgI ke ene ja kendramAM rAkhI jaina paribhASAo upara yojanA pramANe vAMcavA-vicAravA ane lakhavA mAMDIe to ISTa hetu pAra paDe. tethI ame e rIte vAMcana-ciMtana zarU karyuM. kAmanuM mahattva ne gaurava dhyAnamAM to hatAM, paNa jyAre kAma upara beThA tyAre amane baMnene mAtra amArA baMnenA gajA bahAranuM e kAma che ema spaSTa lAgyuM. have ame bIjA evA suyogya sahakArIo zodhavA tarapha vaLyA ke je Adhunika dRSTie bhUgoLakhagoLanA pAradarzI vidvAna hoya ne je amane apekSita evA vaijJAnika viSayomAM paNa niSNAta hoya. AvA suyogya sahAyako vinA amArI yojanAno vizvakoza vaijJAnika yuganA vikAsanI carcA vinAno rahI jAya ne te vartamAna yuganI sAva dUra paDI jAya evo emane spaSTa bhaya hato. suyogya niSNAtonI zodha to cAlatI ja. pAribhASika kozano prAraMbha ane inphaluenjhAno prakopa daramiyAna jaina AgamonA niSNAta paM. becaradAsa AgrA AvI pahoMcyA. emaNe amArI yojanAmAM sAtha ApavAnuM vicAryuM hatuM, paNa te to potAnA saMjoga pramANe anyatra cAlyA gayA, paNa mAruM ane ramaNIkalAlanuM kAma to AgaLa cAlyuM ja jatuM hatuM. A kozanI pAchaLa amArI dRSTi zI che ne enuM mUrta rUpa kevuM hoI zake e sahelAIthI samajI zakAya te mATe ame pAMca-sAta pAribhASika zabdo laI kAcuM lakhANa paNa taiyAra karyuM. kAma karavA sAthe utsAha paNa vadhye jato hato je AgrAnI sakhata ThaMDI ane garamInI paravA na karato, paNa daiva, amArI yojanAnI paravA karyA vinA potAnI yojanA pramANe ja sRSTi racI rahyuM hatuM. Aga prasare tema dezamAM eka sthAnathI bIje sthAne InphalyuenjhA phelAto jato hato. eno mahAnaprakopa AgrAmAM paNa zarU thayo. jyAM dekho tyAM maraNonmukha bImAro, ne mRtyumukhamAM sapaDAyelAo ja najare caDatA. eka kAThiyAvADInI patnIno agnisaMskAra karI mArA sAthI harakhacaMda ghera Avyo ne te paNa tenA ja cepe inphalyuenjhAmAM sapaDAyo. cauda divasane aMte eno tAva ane prANa baMne sAthe gayAM. lAkaDI, AMkha ne hAtha gayA hoya evI mArI sthiti thaI paNa prazna to pAchaLanA amArA badhAnI jIvanarakSAno hato. lImaDo cAvavAno prayoga sarvatra Aga lAgela hovAthI kyAMya javuM poSAya tema na ja hatuM. amane eka nusakho sUkyo, jenA prayogathI nukasAna to thavAnuM ja na hatuM, paNa lAbhano adhika saMbhava hato. ame badhAMe savAre lIMmaDAnA pAna khAvA zarU karyo koI cAvIne pAna khAya to koI vATIne pI jAya. huM baMne rIta ajamAvato. be mahinAnA satata sevane suMdara pariNAma ApyAM. amArA maMDaLamAMthI lImaDAnuM sevana karanAra koI paNa be-traNa divasathI vadhAre inphaluenjhAmAM bhAgye ja sapaDAyo hato. mane to bIjI rIte paNa

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15ra * mAruM jIvanavRtta bahu lAbha thayo. InphaluenjhAnA AkramaNathI to bacI ja gayo, paNa roja savAre lImaDo cAvato ke pIto tyAre evI kAMIka mAnasika sAttvika skUrti anubhavAtI, je meM pahelAM bhAgye ja anubhavelI. lImaDo khAvAnA A prayogamAMthI enA bIjA prayogo paNa hAtha lAgyA. enA lepa ne zekane prabhAve evA eka oparezananI AphatamAMthI huM bacI gayo ke jene sAthaLa uparanA gUmaDAnA anivArya IlAja tarIke karavA mATe sarjana DaoNkTare taiyArI karI hatI. InphaluenjhAnI mosamamAM amArI vAcana-ciMtananI mosama phikkI paDI na hatI. paNa hajI lagI suyogya navA sAthIo meLavavAmAM saphaLatA maLI na hatI. ne kAmanuM gaurava uttarottara vadhAre spaSTa thatuM jatuM. tethI vi. saM. 1974nI dIvALI pachI ame amArI bRhatkoSanI yojanAne mulatavI rAkhI cAlu bIjA kAma tarapha ja vALyA.

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25. vRMdAvana ane mathurAnA anubhavo vRMdAvananA gurukuLamAM vi. saM. 1974nI divALI pahelAMno eka prasaMga yAda Ave che. te upayogI hoI ahIM noMdhuM chuM. 1974nA bhAdaravA suda pAMcame saMvatsarIne bIje divase huM ane ramaNIkalAla vRMdAvana gayA. meM to pahelAM vi. saM. 1964mAM eka vAra vRMdAvanano UDato paricaya karyo hato, paNa A vakhate ramaNIkalAla sAthe mArI paNa mathurA-vRMdAvana jaI tyAMnI keTalIka viziSTa saMsthAonuM UMDuM nirIkSaNa karavAnI utkaTa jijJAsA hatI. tethI ja ame baMne A vakhate sAthe UpaDyA. AryasamAjanAM aneka gurukuLo paikI eka gurukuLa vRMdAvanamAM cAlatuM, je kAMgaDInA gurukuLa pachI bIje naMbare Ave che ema ame sAMbhaLeluM. haridvArA kAMgaDI kyAre javAze e to te vakhate nakkI hatuM ja nahi. tethI najIkamAM Avela vRMdAvananA gurukuLamAM jaI tyAMnI zikSaNa praNAlI ane guruziSyanA saMbaMdha Adi viSe sAkSAt paricaya sAdhavo e eka uddeza bIjo uddeza prema mahAvidyAlayane jovAno hato. te vakhate emAM apAtA audyogika zikSaNe amAruM khAsa dhyAna kheMcyuM hatuM. vRMdAvananA aneka saMpradAyamAM vaheMcAyelAM vaiSNava maMdiro, tenA AcArya gosvAmIo, temanI dharmavyavasthA ane jIvanapraNAlI vagere viSe paNa jAte mAhitI meLavavI ne paricaya sAdhavo e paNa udeza hato. ame pahelAM ja patravyavahAra dvArA karela vyavasthA pramANe gurukuLamAM UtaryA. e gurukuLa barAbara jamanAnA kinAre AveluM che. enA ekAnta ane zAnta atithigRhamAM paDAva karI gurukuLanA eka-be kAryakartAone maLyA. teo amane vizeSe jANatA to na ja hatA. ane emaNe amAre viSe bahu vizeSa jANavAnI vRtti paNa nahi dAkhavelI. tethI teo to amane koI AvI caDela zraddhALu yAtrI jevA mAnI vyavahAra karatA hoya ema amane bhAsa thayo. ame paNa amAro vizeSa paricaya ApavAnI darakAra sevI ja na hatI. kema ke e rIte ja koI paNa saMsthAno akRtrima vyavahAra jANavAnI taka maLe che. purajozamAM vahetI yamunAnA taTe Avela gurukuLanuM bAhya vAtAvaraNa to AhlAdakArI lAgyuM, paNa enI zikSaNa-praNAlI, bhojana-vyavasthA ke enA adhyApakonI

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154 7 mAruM jIvanavRtta yogyatA e badhAnI amArA mana upara je chApa paDI te ame pahelAM bAMdhI rAkhela dhAraNAne anurUpa siddha na thaI. homa, vedanA mahattva upa2 apAto ekAMgI bhAra ne saMskRtAdhyayanano pakSapAta ATaluM to game te AryasamAjI gurukuLamAM enA lAkSaNika aMga tarIke hoya che ja. ame koI asAdhAraNa yogyatAvALA guruo ke gurune jovAnI AzA sevelI, paNa sarakArI bI. e.nI DigrIthI vadhAre yogyatA tyAM jaNAI nahi. zikSaNa-praNAlImAM paNa sAMpradAyika asmitA uparAMta koI dharamULa phera jaNAyo nahi. bhojana yu.pI.ne anurUpa hoya e to svAbhAvika hatuM, paNa gurukuLa jevI brahmacaryapradhAna saMsthAmAM rAta paDyA pachI moDe khAvAnuM ne bhojananI mAtrAmAM aniyamitapaNuM e amane Arogya ane brahmacaryanI dRSTie yogya na lAgyuM. gurukuLa choDatI vakhate jyAre adhiSThAtAne amArA viSe kAMIka vadhu jANa thaI tyAre temaNe tarata ja badhA brahmacArIo ane zikSakonuM saMmelana karyuM ne arasaparasa paricaya sAdhyo. gurukuLanI anukaraNa yogya keTalIka vizeSatAomAMthI eka vizeSatAe amAruM dhyAna savizeSa kheMcyuM. tyAM zUdro ane hirajanone paNa samAnadRSTie sthAna e jamAnAmAM apAtuM e kAMI nAnIsUnI siddhi na kahevAya. prema mahAvidyAlayamAM prema mahAvidyAlaya jovA gayA tyAre enA eka jUnA kAryakartA yA maMtrI nArAyaNaprasAdane maLyA. (bihAra) ArAmAM Avela jaina zrAvikAzramanI saMcAlikA caMdAbAInA e pitA thAya. kyAreka caMdAbAIe emane viSe vAta karelI te uparathI temane maLavuM saheluM thaI paDyuM. nArAyaNaprasAdanuM makAna prema vidyAlayanI najIka ja hatuM. emaNe prema mahAvidyAlaya to chUTathI batAvyuM ja, paNa vadhArAmAM amAruM Atithya paNa karyuM. AtithyamAM noMdhavA jevI vAta emanI eka salAha che. jyAre jamavAno vakhata thayo tyAre sAMje emaNe amane snAna karI levAnI sUcanA karI ane kahyuM ke nAhyA pachI jamIe to thAka UtaravAthI tAjagI Ave che ne bhUkha paNa ThIka UghaDe che. zItaLa kUpodakathI ame nAhyA to sAce ja jaTharAgni maMda paDI gayela te zItaLa jaLasnAnathI pradIpta thaI ne temaNe pIrasela mathurA-vRMdAvananI prasiddha rabaDIno ame svAda mANyo. mahAvidyAlaya yamunAnA ghATa upara AveluM che, jyAre yamunA tyAMthI mAIla karatAMya vadhAre dUra vahe che. nadInAM badalAtAM jatAM vaheNo pahelAMnA bAMdhelA pAkA ghATone kevA sUmasAma karI mUke che e tyAM jovA maLyuM. A dRzyanuM smaraNa AgaLa jatAM TAgoranI zikSaNaviSayaka mImAMsAno eka lekha vAMcatAM hamaNAM ja tAjuM thayuM. e lekhamAM kavIndre zikSaNanI rUDha praNAlInI TIkA karatAM tene AvA pravAhathI chUTA paDelA ghATo sAthe sarakhAvatAM kahyuM che ke jema nadIno pravAha vegaLo cAlyo jAya ne ghATa mAtra bAkI rahe tema dRDha praNAlikA mAtra zikSaNanI saMsthAomAM bAkI rahe che ane zikSaNano AtmA

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vRMdAvana ane mathurAnA anubhavo - 155 aneka jAtanA udyogonuM zikSaNa ApavAnI sagavaDa hatI ne tethI aneka vidyArthIo jIvanayAtrA calAvavAnI zakti prApta karatA eTale eno uddeza ne enI pravRtti amane bahu gamI. paM. zrI sudarzanAcAryano paricaya ane zrIraMgamaMdirano itihAsa je vayovRddha sudarzanAcAryane huM vi. saM. 1964mAM maLelo temanI pAse ghaNAM varSa pachI javAnI utkaMThA prabaLa jAgI hatI. ame emane bheTyA. eTalI ja saralatA ne snehavRttithI temaNe amAro satkAra karyo. A vakhate huM bhaNavAnA udezathI nahi, paNa satsaMgatinI dRSTithI gayo hato. temaNe mane kahyuM ke, viziSTAdvaita e anekAntavAdanuM ja eka svarUpa che e tame jANo cho ? emanA A kathana upara AgaLa jatAM meM tAttvika ane aitihAsika dRSTie vicAra karyo to emAM puSkaLa satya dekhAyuM che. gujarAtamAM jema cA pIzo ? ema puchAya che, te rIte yu. pI. mAM jaLapAna karazo ? ema puchAya che. eka vAra kAzImAM eka maMdiranA pUjArIe mane pUcheluM ke jaLapAna karazo ? meM tarasa na hovAthI nA to pADI, paNa jyAre mArA sahacArI mitre eno bhAvArtha mane kahyo tyAre meM jaLapAnane vadhAvI lIdhuM. tyArathI ja mane jaLapAnanI pUrvabhUmikA to mIThAI hoya che ema khabara hatI eTale sudarzanAcAryanA jaLapAnanA praznane ame vadhAvI ja lIdho. besananI lADuDIoe vadhAre capaLatA prerI ne ame emanA zrIraMgajInA maMdira viSe tema ja tenI vyavasthA viSe vadhAre jANavA icchA darzAvI. sudarzanAcAryajIe maMdira-mUrti Adi badhuM ja batAvavAnI goThavaNa karI. amane mAlUma paDyuM ke A zrIraMganuM maMdira suvarNamaMdira tarIke jANItuM che. emAM eka staMbha Ubho che, jenA upara suvarNanI bahumUlI khoLa che. e maMdira eka jaina gRhasthe baMdhAveluM che e jANIne to vadhAre vismaya thayo. tethIya vadhAre vismaya to e pAchaLa karelI vyavasthA jANIne thayo. lakSmIcaMda nAmanA ati dhanADhya gRhasthe maMdira baMdhAvI tenA nibhAva khAtara ghaNAM gAmo dAnamAM ApelAM che. enI Avaka bahu moTI che. emAMthI badho kharca cAle che. pratidina amuka pramANamAM bhoganI vastuo taiyAra karavA mATe ghI joIe. ghInI kImata moMghavArInA pramANamAM badalAtI rahe to bAMdhela kharcamAM avyavasthA UbhI thAya tethI te zeThe ghInuM pramANa nakkI na karatAM rUpiyAnuM ja pramANa pahelethI nakkI karI dIdhuM che ke bhAva vadhe ke ghaTe, paNa roja ghI mATe to amuka ja rUpiyA kharacavA. teTalI rakamamAMthI game teTalA ghImAM bhoga-battI vagere badhI vidhio patAvavI. maMdiranI Avaka eTalI badhI moTI che ke temAMthI aneka dhArmika pravRttio nabhe che ne vidyArthIo paNa adhyayana karavA pAme che. e sakhI jaina gRhasthe vaiSNava maMdiranI peThe jaine maMdira ne jaina dharmazALA paNa baMdhAvela che. ne te mathurAmAM cauraMgIne nAme zahera bahAra jANItI che.

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156 9 mAruM jIvanavRtta bhAratanI dharmasahiSNutA mULe e lakSmIcaMda zeTha jaina ane vaiSNava ubhaya dharmano Adara karatA ne ubhayane anusaratA. Aje paNa gujarAtatkAThiyAvADamAM ghaNAM evAM kuTuMbo che ke jemAM jaina ane vaiSNava dharmonuM mizraNa che. jema jema itihAsanAM jUnAM pRSTho vAMcIe chIe tema tema kuTuMbomAM ane AkhI jJAtiomAM judA judA dharmonuM avirodhI anusaraNa jovAmAM Ave che. eka ja jainaparaMparAnA zvetAMbara-digabaMra ke sthAnakavAsI-mUrtipUjaka jevA phAMTAomAM je kALe lagnavyavahAra na hoya te kALe eka ja kuTuMbamAM jaina-vaiSNava ke jaina-bauddha jevI be sAva judI dharmaparaMparAnA astitvanI vAta navAI jevI lAge, paNa enA thoDA ghaNA avazeSo je Aje jovA maLe che te prAcIna dharmasahiSNutAnI sAkSI Ape che. vastupAlamaMtrInI dharmasahiSNutA itihAsaprasiddha che. dakSiNa hiMdustAnamAMnAM aneka rAjakuTuMbo bhinna dharmonA sukhada saMmelananI sAkSI itihAsa dvArA Ape che. vaiSNava paraMparAo jema zatruMjaya parvata jaina maMdironuM dhAma che ane kAzI zaiva maMdironuM dhAma che tema vRMdAvana vaiSNava maMdironuM dhAma che. kRSNabhajanamAMnI dareka kuMjagalI Aje maMdironuM kuMja banI che. enA svAmI AcAryo che ane gosvAmI kahevAya che. rAmAnuja, madhva, nimbArka, vallabha jevA dakSiNanA badhA ja AcAryonI to vRMdAvanamAM paraMparA che ja, paNa baMgAlanA bhakta caitanyanI paraMparA paNa tyAM che. mAtra nAmathI ane kAMIka upAsanAbhedathI paDela phAMTAo paNa tyAM jAhojalAlI bhogave che. eka phAMTo rAdhAramaNanA nAmane mAne to bIjo rAdhA-vallabhanA nAmane. amAre gosvAmIo viSe kAMIka jANavA mana hatuM tethI thoDAMka maMdiromAM gayA. emano bArIka paheraveza, emano chelabaTAu zRMgAra e badhuM vicArakane bhale mUMjhave, paNa zraddhALu bhaktone to AkarSe ja che. mane to A tyAMnuM AkhuM vAtAvaraNa paropajIvI. jaDatApozAka ane prANaghAtaka lAgyuM che, jevuM ke moTe bhAge badhAM ja tIrthomAM hoya che. maMdiro vRMdAvananI saMpatti hoya to vAMdarAo paNa tenI viziSTa saMpatti che. gosvAmIono varga bhakto upara jIve che. to vAMdarAo paNa e ja rIte jIve che. joDA ke kapaDAM mUkvA levAmAM saheja paNa asAvadhAnI thaI to vAMdarAo eno daMDa tamane Ape ja. badalAmAM kAMI paNa khAvAnuM maLe tyAre tamane teo zAhukAranI peThe tamArI vastu pAchI Ape. bhaktipradhAna vaiSNava paraMparAo mULamAM jAtibhedanI pakaDa DhIlI karavA ne spRzya-aspRzyano roga nivAravA zarU thayelI, paNa e paraMparAonI badhI ja gAdIo upara jema jema brAhmaNo AcAryarUpe AvatA ne sthira thatA gayA tema tema e paraMparAo mULa uddezathI taddana vegaLI jaI paDI chatAM baMgAlI caitanyaparaMparAnAM je maMdiro vRMdAvanamAM che temAMthI koI evA paNa che ke jemAM zuddha sudhdhAMne

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vRMdAvana ane mathurAnA anubhavo * 157 javAnI chUTa che. A vastusthiti jotAM ja jainaparaMparAnI sthitino khyAla amane tAjo thayo. mULamAM jAtigata spezyAspRzyanI dIvAla vaLavAno siddhAMta dharAvatI jainaparaMparA paNa brAhmaNonA prabhAvamAM AvI potAno siddhAMta visArI beThI che. mathurAdarzana vRMdAvanathI ame mathurA AvyA. tyAM lakSmInArAyaNanuM maMdira mukhya ne jANItuM che. maMdiranI mukhyatA ke prasiddhi kAMI enI svacchatA, vyavasthA ke zAMtimAM nathI samAtI, paNa enI ImArata, Avaka ane ADaMbaranA AdhAre ja ghaNuMkharuM aMkAya che. A vastu jema badhe tema lakSmInArAyaNanA maMdirane paNa lAgu paDatI joI. mathurAmAM yamunAnuM dazya ghATane kAraNe ne kRSNalIlAnA pUrva prasaMgone kAraNe AkarSaka banI jAya che, paNa emAM umero to kAcabAo kare che. bhakto ne yAtrIo dvArA pUratuM poSaNa pAmI kAcabAoe potAnI sRSTi nirbhayapaNe racI che ne racyuM jAya che. vraja pradeza eTale gAyono pradeza. tethI karIne mathurAnAM paiDA-rabaDI jANItAM che, paNa briTiza amalano kaLiyuga gAyo upara paNa pUrNapaNe Utarelo hovAthI have e peMDA ne rabaDInI mIThAza uttarottara ghaTatI ja jAya che ema joyuM. mathurAmAM eka zvetAMbara maMdira hatuM. tyAM paNa ame gayA. maMdira jUnuM ne mUrti paNa khUba prAcIna che, jeno hamaNAM ja pharI uddhAra thayo che. vRMdAvanamAM zrIraMgajInuM maMdira baMdhAvanAra digaMbara jaina gRhastha mathurA zahera bahAra je digaMbara jaina maMdira baMdhAvyuM che te cauraMgI uparanA maMdiramAM paNa ame gayA. sthAna ekAntamAM AveluM hoI rahevA jevuM che. tyAM digaMbara paraMparA taraphathI eka brahmacaryAzrama cAlatuM, je hamaNAM paNa cAle ja che. mULamAM te hastinApuramAM sthapAyeluM. enA sthApako paikI mahAtmA bhagavAnadIna eka che. te mArA paricita hovAthI e brahmacaryAzramane jovAnI taka vadhAvI lIdhI. tyAM bIjA paNa jANItA mitro maLyA. temAM ullekha yogya nAma paMDita umarAvasiMhanuM che. kAzImAM ja teo paricita thayelA ne huM bhadainI hato tyAre teo mArI sAthe amRtacandranI paMcAdhyAyI vAMcatA-vicAratA. teo AgaLa jatAM jJAnAnanda nAme brahmacArI thayelA. temaNe Azrama vagereno paricaya karAvavA uparAMta amAruM Atithya paNa karyuM. mathurA jUnuM-purANuM ane itihAsaprasiddha zahera che. Aje e rAjadhAnInuM prAcIna gaurava nathI bhogavatuM topaNa dhArmika gaurava to dharAve ja che. jema bIjAM jUnAM zahero tema mathurA paNa potAnI jUnI kAyA badalI tene jamInadosta karI nave rUpe astitva TakAvI rahyuM che chatAM enA jUnA avazeSo sAva nathI nAza pAmyA ke nathI adazya thayA. sarakArI purAtattva vibhAganA khodakAmane pariNAme jamInamAMthI kramavAra aneka zatAbdIono itihAsa keTaleka aMze bahAra Avyo che ne te saMgrahasthAnamAM surakSita paNa che. e saMgrahasthAna jovA to gayA, paNa ene pUrNapaNe jovAmAM saphaLatA na maLI.

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158 * mAruM jIvanavRtta tethI te viSe pustako ne lekhomAM je kAMI vAMceluM che tenAthI ja saMtoSa mAnato Avyo chuM. mathurAmAM thayela khodakAmamAMthI jeno, bauddho, vaiSNavo ne zaivonI paraMparAnA aneka aitihAsika avazeSo jANamAM AvyA che ne te bahu mUlyavAna che. mathurA kyAreka jaina paraMparAnuM mahatudhAma ane tIrtha hatuM. tyAMthI ja jaina sAdhuono eka varga dakSiNamAM gayelo, je mAthurasaMgharUpe prasiddha thayo. mathurAmAM ja AryaskanTile jaina AgamonI vAcanA ane vyavasthA karelI. dvArakA ne giranAra sAthe mathurAno saMbaMdha jeTalo jUno che teTalo ja mathurA sAthe jainaparaMparAno saMbaMdha jUno che. ema lAge che ke mathurAmAM jainaparaMparAnA be pravAho sAmasAmenI dizAmAMthI AvI saMgama pAmelA. eka pravAha pazcima taraphathI Avela tene saurASTra pravAha kahI zakAya, jyAre bIjo kAzIkozala ne magadhathI Avela, tene mAgadha kahI zakAya, paNa Aje to mukhyapaNe mathurAvRMdAvana vaiSNava dhAma ja che. goponI gAyonA kuLavALA gokuLamAM icchA chatAM ame jaI na zakyA ne vrajapradezanAM sukhada smaraNo sAthe AgrA pAchA pharyA.

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26. paMcapratikramaNa ane kailAsadhAma sikaMdarAno nivAsa paMcapratikramaNano anuvAda kalakattAvALA bAbu bahAdurasiMhajI siMdhInA pitA bAbu DAlacaMdajI jeTalA dharmapremI hatA teTalA ja vidyApremI paNa hatA. temanI icchA evI hatI ke paMcapratikramaNa hindI artha sAthe navI daSTie taiyAra karAvI maphata vaheMcavuM. zrIyuta dayAlacaMdajI jhaverIe temanI e IcchA viSe mane kalakattAthI lakhyuM. hAtha uparanAM kAmomAM eka navA kAmano umero ame svecchAthI vadhAvI lIdho. mane ema thayuM ke A nimitte samagra jaina samAjamAM mahattvanuM sthAna dharAvanAra Avazyaka pratikramaNa sUtronA aitihAsika ciMtananI taka maLe che tema ja enA tAttvika ciMtanano paNa prasaMga sAMpaDe che to tene jato na karavo. kaI rIte ne kaI daSTie hindI artha lakhavA tema ja sUtrono ne vidhibhAgano krama goThavavo, vaLI kaI rIte pradhAnabhUta pracalita badhAM ja gacchonI vidhi paripATIne AvarI zakAya e badhuM ame vicArI lIdhuM ne kAma zarU karyuM. bAbu DAlacaMdajI siMdhInI khAsa icchA e hatI ke jainaparaMparAmAM paMcaparameSThI yA namokAra maMtranuM asAdhAraNa mahattva che to enA viSe jeTaluM sAruM ane gaMbhIra lakhI zakAya teTaluM jarUrI che. mane paNa e vAta gamI. pahelAM to meM utsAha ane bhAvanAvaza paMcaparameSThI upara khUba lAMbu kAMIka AlaMkArika chaTAthI lakhI nAMkhyuM, paNa tarata ja AgrAmAM siMdhIjInuM acAnaka AvavAnuM banyuM ne temaNe mAruM e lakhANa sAMbhaLI pasaMda to karyuM, paNa kahyuM ke kAMIka TUMkAmAM ne sAdhAraNa lokone gamya thAya evuM lakhAya to bahu sAruM. meM lakhela e badhuM phADI diIdhuM ne navI ja rIte lakhavAnI UMDI ciMtAmAM paDyo. ciMtAe kAMIka navo rasto sujhADyo. ne pariNAme paMcaparameSThI svarUpa TUMkamAM, paNa tAttvika ane saMtoSaprada rIte lakhAyuM ema Aje paNa mane lAge che. prastAvanA lakhavA mATenI taiyArI karatAM karatAM bIjA badhA dharmasaMpradAyonAM Avazyaka karma arthAtu saMdhyA-dhyAna-prArthanAnA vyavahAra viSenI prabaLa jijJAsA pragaTI. ane e rIte e jijJAsAe mane sanAtanI AryasamAjIonI saMdhyA, musalamAnonI namAja, bauddhonA nityapATha tema ja pArasIonA khoradeha avasvAnA

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160 * mAruM jIvanavRtta adhyayana-ciMtana tarapha vaLyo. bIjI bAju jainaparaMparAnA badhA ja phirakAomAM pracalita Avazyaka-sUtrono aitihAsika tema ja tulanAtmaka abhyAsa vadhAre UMDANathI karavAnI taka paNa sAMpaDI. A takane vadhAvI levAthI mane bahu ja phAyado ane saMtoSa thayo. prastAvanAmaha badhuM lakhANa taiyAra paNa thayuM ne presamAM paNa gayuM. cAreka pharmA chapAyA tyAM vaLI navA ja pheraphArano prasaMge upasthita thayo. kailAsatIrthamAM nivAsa vi. saM. 1975no unALo cAlato. AgrAnI garamI amArA kAmanA utsAhane ThaMDo pADavA mathatI to ame paNa enI avagaNanA karavAno kAMIka rasto zodhatA hatA. daramyAna dayAlacaMdajI jhaverInA moTAbhAI vakIla cAMdamalajIe eka rasto sUcavyo ke, jo AgrAmAM rahIne ja kAma paNa karavuM hoya to zahera choDI jamanA kinAre raho. A sUcanA amane gamI. AgrAthI sAteka mAIla dUra jamanAnA kinAre kailAsa nAmathI prasiddha eka tIrthadhAma jevuM sthAna che. te akabaranA makabarA sikaMdarAthI ekAda mAIla dUra che. tyAM barAbara kinArA upara ja amane eka makAna maLI gayuM. tyAM paNa garamI to ochI na hatI, paraMtu savAra-sAMja yamunAno jaLavihAra karavAnI prAkRtika anukULatA hatI. makAnanA bhoMyarAnuM eka dvAra yamunAnA pravAhane sparzatuM hatuM. unALo eTale pANInuM bahu UMDANa ke tANa paNa nahi. tethI taravA jANanAra ne na jANanAra amArA badhAMyane mATe e pravAha jaLavihAranuM eka sAdhana banI rahyo. ramaNIkabhAI ane temanAM patnI tArAbahena baMne taravAno abhyAsa karatAM. huM dekhato tyArathI ja taratAM jANato eTale temane kAMIka madada karato ane teo mane taratI vakhate dizAmUlathI bacAvatA. bhojananI keTalIka agavaDa chatAM A kailAsavAse amane tAjagI paNa ApI ne thoDAka navA anubhavo paNa karAvyA. tyAM najIkamAM eka zivadhAma che. tenA mAlika mahatta jayaziva' kahevAya che, kAraNa ke temaNe potAnA AkhA dhAmamAM bhAgye evI koI jagyA khAlI rAkhI haze ke jyAM jayaziva evA akSaro lakhAvelA na hoya. tAjamahelane to roja jotA, paNa sikaMdarAnA vizALa khullA ne saphAIdAra makabarAno sparza e kaulAsavAse ja karAvyo. bAbu bahAdurasiMhajIno paricaya ghaNI vAra prAtaHkAlanI madhura ne AhalAdaka havAnuM sevana karatAM huM ne ramaNIkalAla baMne ativegathI pagapALA zaheramAM jatA ne presanuM kAma jotA. Ama ati garamInA e divasomAM pratikramaNa chapAvavAnuM kAma kAMIka AgaLa vadhyuM. thoDAka pharamA chapAyA tyAM eka divase aNadhAryA bAbu bahAdurasiMhajI AvI caDyA. temanA taraphathI chapAtA pratikramaNanA pharamA temane batAvavAmAM AvyA ke AvuM kAma thAya che. atyAra lagI mane ukta bAbujIno sAkSAt tema ja viziSTa paricaya na hato. huM emane eka vyApArI

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paMcapratikramaNa ane kailAsadhAma sikaMdarAno nivAsa * 161 ja lekhato, paNa jyAre emaNe e pharamA jotAMveMta kahyuM ke kAgaLa ne chapAmaNI joIe tevAM nathI. te lakhANa ne meTara jevAM ja hoya to ja zobhe tyAre mane bahu navAI lAgI. vicAra e Avyo ke A yuvaka ane vyApArI chatAM mudraNakaLA tema ja kAgaLanA guNadoSa, viSe jeTaluM jANe che teTaluM ame kAma karanAra pote paNa nathI jANatA. A vicArathI mane kAMIka AtmaglAni to thaI, paNa jyAre temaNe kahyuM ke, A badhA pharamA rada karo. kAgaLa paNa maLI zake tevA sArAmAM sArA vAparo ne presa paNa uttama ja zodho. kharcano prazna ADe na Avavo joIe. mAtra kAma uttama ja thavuM joIe. emanA e kathane thoDA kharcamAM bane teTaluM sAruM kAma karavAno amAro vANiyAzAhI TUMkI dRSTino khyAla dUra karI amane navI yojanAnA vicAra tarapha preryA. have amArI ciMtAno viSaya sarasa kAgaLa ne sarasa chApakhAnuM meLavavAM e banyo. AgrAmAM AmAMnuM kAMI maLe nahi. chapAInA pharamA rada to thayA, paNa have AgaLanuM kAma kyAM ane kevI rIte pAra pADavuM e ja prazna manamAM ghoLAvA lAgyo.

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27. pharI pUnA tarapha zrI jinavijayajInuM pUnA mATe AmaMtraNa pUnAmAM munazrI jinavijayajI hatA. InphalyuenjhAnA sakhata AkramaNamAMthI bacI gayA pachI teo potAnA priya viSaya aitihAsika saMzodhanamAM lAgI gayelA ne bhAMDArakara insTiTayUTamAMnA lekhita moTA pustakasaMgrahano upayoga karI eka nibaMdha lakhI rahyA hatA. eno viSaya hato haribhadrano samayanirNaya. AcArya haribhadranuM sthAna jaina samAjamAM zaMkarAcArya jevuM che. temanA samaya viSenI jUnI paraMparAgata mAnyatAnI viruddha munijIe navAM pramANone AdhAre bahu abhyAsa ane jhINavaTapUrvaka A nibaMdha taiyAra karyo hato. pUnAmAM bhAMDArakara insTiTayUTanuM uddaghATana ane oriyanTala konpharansanuM adhivezana thavAnAM hatAM. munijI e adhivezanamAM potAno nibaMdha vAMcavA icchatA. jUnA munimaMDaLathI chUTA paDI teo ekalA pUnAmAM rahetA. mArA ane emanA vacce vidyAsakhya pahelethI ja daDha thayuM hatuM. temaNe mane lakhyuM ke tame badhA sAthIo sAthe pUnA ja AvIne raho ne AgrAmAM karo cho te pramANe pUnAmAM ja rahI kAma karo. ApaNA badhAnuM sAhacarya ekabIjAnA kAmamAM sahAyaka nIvaDaze ne tamAruM chapAvavAnuM kAma tamArI icchA pramANe pUnAmAM saraLatAthI thaI zakaze. munijI pratye mAruM AkarSaNa to hatuM ja ne temanA saMzodhanakAryathI jAte paricita thavAnI vRtti paNa hatI. pUnAnA vidyAvAtAvaraNano pahelAM paricaya paNa thayelo eTale ame badhAMe pUnA javAnuM nakkI karyuM. ame jyAre pUnA javA nIkaLyA tyAre comAsuM bharajuvAnImAM hatuM. zrI vallabhavijayajInAM darzane jatAM varasAdamAM keTakaranano paraco ASADhanA chellA divasomAM ame amadAvAdanA raste thaI pUnA javA UpaDyA. A lAMbuM cakkara levA pAchaLa be uddeza hatA. eka to mAravADamAM sAdaDI mukAme jyAM vijayavallabhasuri comAsuM hatA tyAM temane maLavuM hatuM ne bIjo uddeza mArA vatana kAThiyAvADamAM ghera kuTuMbIjanone maLavAno hato. pahelA udeza pramANe ame phAlanA sTezana UtarI gayA ne eka mAravADInI dukAne dhAmA nAMkhyA. tyAMthI sAdaDI chaeka gAu. megharAja pUrI udAratAthI amI varasAvI rahyA hatA. pagapALA ja javAnuM hatuM. DhIMcaNasamA pANImAM joDAM to nakAmAM thaI jaLazaraNa thaI gayAM. mAravADanAM pAMca ratnomAM kAMTA

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pharI pUnA tarapha * 163 paNa eka ratna gaNAya che. pANInA pravAhothI AsapAsanAM khetaromAMthI taNAI bAvaLanI zULo rastA uparanA pANImAM ekaThI thayelI te ughADA pagane pANImAM ja cUmatI. eka zULa kADhIe tyAM bIjI bhoMkAya, bIjI kADhIe tyAM trIjI pagamAM vIMdhAI tUTIne aMdara rahI jAya. uparathI varasAda, nIcethI phUlo, ne bAjunI dizAomAMthI pavana e badhAMno svAda cAkhatAM mAtra huM ne ramaNIkalAla baMne vAlI gAma pahoMcyA. A vakhate huM te cheka thAkI gayelo, paNa thAka karatAMya bhAMgelI zULonI vedanA sakhata hatI. hajAma Avyo. keTalAya bhAMgelA kAMTA pagane khodI khodI kADhyA chatAM beeka keTake to paga sAthe evI pAkI dostI bAMdhelI ke te nIkaLyA ja nahi. huM laMgaDAte ane pAkela page pATo bAMdhI bIje divasa sAdaDI pahoMcyo. tyAM mahArAjajIne maLyo. temaNe to amArI sAhityika pravRttine khUba AzIrvAda ApyA ne protsAhana paNa ApyuM. rANakapuranI yAtrA ame baMne baLadagADI karI rANakapuranA caudaso thAMbhalAvALA suprasiddha jaina maMdira jovA ne darzana karavA UpaDyA. e bhavya ane vizALa maMdiramAM jatAM ja tenA baMdhAvanAranI udAratA ane kalpanAzakti viSe aneka vicAro AvavA lAgyA. te vakhatanA tyAMnA jaina lokonA abhyadayano, dhArmika vRttino temaja kalApriyatAno AbhAsa thayo. aneka jaina yAtrIo ne kaLApremIo e jainamaMdiranI mulAkAte hamezAM AvatA rahe che. Aje to e jaina vastI vinAnA eka parvatIya pradezanA khUNAmAM dhyAnI yogInI peThe ekaluMaTUluM nirAvalaMba AkAzane AlaMbana ApatuM hoya ema UbhuM che. dharatIkaMpanA aneka AMcakAo ne vidyutapAtanA prahAro vacce paNa te dharaNavihAra ANaMdajI kilyANajInI peDhInI kALajIbharelI dekharekha nIce potAnuM prAcIna nUra sAcavI rahela che. te baMdhAvanAra dharaNA zAhanA nAmane sArthaka karatuM hoya tema potAnA astitvane dhAraNa karI rahyuM che. lImalI thaI amadAvAdamAM jhaverI maMgaLabhAIne tyAM sAdaDIthI pAchA pharI phAlanA sTezana upara rahelA bAkInA sAthIone sAthe laI ame badhA vaDhavANa kempa thaI mArA vatana lImalImAM pahoMcyA. gAmaDAno vaidya hajAma ane DosI. e vAta Aje paNa gAmaDAmAM janArane sAcI ja dekhAze. te vakhate lImalImAM eka gharaDA ne DAhyA hajAma rahetA. temaNe pagamAM rahI gayela kAMTAne bahAra lAvavA mATe DuMgaLI bAMdhavAno nusakho batAvyo. meM ene ajamAvyo. kAMTo nIkaLyo na hato. ne khodela bhAgane rUjha paNa AvI na hatI. pitAjI ane bIjA vaDIloe badhuM ThIka thaI jAya tyAM lagI rokAI javA kahyuM, paNa pUnA pahoMcavAnI dhUne mane jaMpavA dIdho nahi. ame badhA amadAvAda AvyA. vijayavallabhasUrie prathamathI ja sUcavI dIdheluM eTale jhaverI maMgaLabhAI tArAcaMde tyAM mArA vAste badhI rahevA vagerenI goThavaNa karelI.

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164 - mAruM jIvanavRtta Atithyapriya maMgaLabhAI pahelethI ja mArA paricita hatA, paNa vijayavallabhasurinI bhalAmaNe mArA pratye temanuM vadhAre dhyAna kheMcyuM hoya ema te vakhatanA temanA samagra udAra vyavahArathI huM joI zakyo. gAMdhIjI amadAvAda AvyA tyArathI mArA mATe eka evo niyama ja banI gayo hato ke amadAvAda AvuM tyAre teonA AzramamAM jAuM ja. A vakhate sAbaramatIno Azrama banI rahyo hato. huM mArA paricita cImanalAla narasiMha zAhane aMbAlAla tribhuvana baMneno saMyukta atithi banI rAtre AzramamAM rahyo. mana pUnA tarapha hatuM, paNa tanane paga AgaLa vadhavA de tema lAgyuM nahi. chevaTe maMgaLabhAI ne bIjA mitronA kahevAthI meM page oparezana karAvI kAMTAne to kaDhAvyo. beeka divasamAM amadAvAdathI cAlyA javuM evI mArI UtAvaLa kAma na AvI. Do. jIvarAja ghelAbhAI vagerenI salAha paDI ke jo rUjha AvyA pahelAM tame bhAgAbhAga karazo to AgaLa jatAM paga saDaze ne vadhAre kapAvavo paDaze. chevaTe huM maMgaLabhAIne tyAM ja dozIvADA jhaverI poLamAM eka alAyadA makAnamAM rahI gayo ne ramaNIkalAla vagerene pUnA tarapha ravAnA karI dIdhA. Do. jIvarAja ghelAbhAI tathA kezavalAla premacaMdano paricaya jIvarAja DokTara sthAnakavAsI hatA ne teo Agamone prasiddha karavA-karAvavAmAM vadhAre rasa letA. kezavalAla premacaMda vakIla zvetAMbara hatA ne dareka jAtanuM jaina sAhitya bane teTaluM vadhAre prasiddhamAM Ave e mATe teo badhuM ja banatuM karI chUTatA. A kAraNe paNa DaoNkTara ane vakIla baMne vacce kAMIka vadhAre sakhya baMdhAyuM hoya to nA nahi. game tema hoya paNa e baMne mitro pAchA maMgaLabhAInA ekasarakhA snehI ne saMmAnya. tethI A badhAnI sAravArano mane to pUro lAbha maLyo. pUnA javAmAM traNeka saptAha moDo paDyo, paNa amadAvAda zaheramAM rahI tyAMnA pajusaNanA dhArmika ane ADaMbarI divaso viSe jovA jANavAnI aNadhArI taka ArAmakhurazImAM beThAM beThAM prApta thaI. jIvarAjabhAI roja Ave ne jAte ja DresiMga karI jAya. maMgaLabhAI jaladI rUjha Ave ne baLa vadhe te mATe khAnapAnanI khUba saMbhALa rAkhe. kezavalAlabhAI AvI sAhitya viSe ja carcA ne vAtacIta kare. Ama kAMTAnI kedamAM aNadhAryA daivI AzIrvAda UtaryA jevI sthiti anubhavI. ArAmakhurasIno ArAma to hato ja, paNa mAnasika ArAmanI bIjI paNa anukULatA khUba maLI. - prophesara Athavale roja sakhata varasAdamAM palaLatA vidyA premanA mAryA hemacaMdanuM prAkRta vyAkaraNa vAMcavA AvatA. paM. bhagavAnadAsa to mitra rahyA eTale hAjara hoya ja. zaherano madhyabhAga ne vAcALa Atithyapriya jhaverInuM ghara eTale keTalAya vyApArI, darabArI ne keLavAyela mANaso avAranavAra Ave ne maLavAnuM bane. Ama oparezananI jela mAre mATe to eTalA divasa mahela ja banI gaI.

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pharI pUnA tarapha 0 165 zrI vijayanemisUri sAthe huM pote pajuSaNanA divasomAM mArA niyata sthAne ja raheto. ne upAzrayamAM dhArmika vyAkhyAno sAMbhaLavA ke bIje nimitte javAnI paMcAtamAM na paDato, paNa zraddhALu maMgaLabhAIne jANe ethI kAMIka asaMtoSa raheto hoya tema lAgyuM. eka divasa teo kahe, tame vijayanemisUrIzvaranuM vyAkhyAna sAMbhaLavA eka vAra to cAlo, Aje gaNadharavAda kheMcAvAno hoI mahArAjjI pote ja vAMcaze ityAdi. mane vijyanemisUrIzvarano paricaya mahesANAmAM thayelo. te vakhate temanuM vyAkhyAna paNa sAMbhaLeluM. bIjA zraddhALu ane aNasamaju loko temanA vyAkhyAnano game te AMka bAMdhatA hoya. paNa mane emanuM vyAkhyAna zrotAone kazA ja upayoganuM hoya tevuM asthAne ane aghaTita rIte pAMDityanuM pradarzana karanAra eka barADApradhAna pravacana mAtra lAgeluM. tethI temanA vyAkhyAnanuM jarApaNa AkarSaNa na hovA chatAM maMgaLabhAIne anusa2vA khAtara pAMjarApoLanA upAzrayamAM gayo. zrotAonI ThaTha jAmelI. pazuSaNano dhArmika utsAha eka eka rajakaNamAM gati prerato dekhAyo. sUrIzvara pote vyAkhyAna vAMcavA beThA. emanuM vyAkhyAna sAMbhaLatAM ja prathamano anubhava tAjo thayo. loko ane bhakto to ema ja mAnatA dekhAya ke mahArAjajI bahu moTA vidvAna che ne tethI ja ATalI sacoTatA temaja ATalA UMcA svare bolI zake che. koI zrotAne pUcho ke tame kAMI samajyA ? to javAbamAM eTaluM ja kahe ke zAstranI jhINI vAto ApaNe kevI rIte samajIe ? tame zrotAone ema pUcho ke to pachI mahArAjI bahu moTA vidvAna che ema tame zA AdhAre kaho cho ? to teo niHsaMkocapaNe e ja javAba Ape ke jo evA vidvAna na hoya to moTA paisAdAro ne AgevAno emane zA mATe mAne ? ityAdi. thoDuMka vyAkhyAna sAMbhaLI huM to pAcho pharyo, paNa pajuSaNa vItyA pachI pharI eka vAra maMgaLabhAI vijyanemisUrIzvara pAse mane laI gayA. sUrIzvare mane kahyuM have kyAM javuM che ? meM pUnAnI vAta karI tyAre temaNe ahIM ja beso. cakalI pheravatAMveMta naLamAMthI pANInI dhAra chUTe che tema ahIM paisA varasaze. ne tamAruM ricarsa phisarcanuM kAma badhuM ja ahIM thaI zakaze. mAruM aNanama valaNa joI temaNe e praznane paDato mUkyo. temaNe jyAre jANyuM ke huM pUnA jatAM muMbaI paNa UtaravAno chuM tyAre temaNe kahyuM ke tame pelA becarAne samajAvajo. nahi to bicAro hAlahavAla thaI jaze. paM. becaradAsajInA vyAkhyAnano UhApoha vAta e hatI ke, te arasAmAM paMDita becaradAse devadravya' viSe eka vyAkhyAna ApeluM, jeNe rUDhicustomAM bhAre kSobha ne UhApoha janmAvelo. vijayanemisUrIzvare jo becaradAsa mAphI na mAge to temane saMgha bahAra mUkavAnI hilacAla paNa zarU karelI. becaradAsa aNanama hatA. tethI mane ukta sUrIzvare temane samajAvavA sUcavyuM. te sAthe

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166 * mAruM jIvanavRtta sAthe e paNa sUcavyuM ke, jo saMghanI mAphI nahi mAge to ene kyAMya UbhA rahevAnuM sthAna nahi rahe. becaradAsanA bhASaNa ke lakhANamAM ekagitA ke truTi hoya te karatAM AvA rUDhicusta sAdhuo ne temane anusaranAra zrAvakonA valaNamAM anekagaNI vadhAre ekAMgitA, asahiSNutA ne jaDatA hatAM ema mane spaSTa te vakhate lAgatuM, tethI huM e vAtanI taththAmAM na Utaryo. ne temanI pAsethI vidAya lIdhI te Aja lagI paNa cAlu ja che. zrI maMgaLabhAIno prema amadAvAdathI ravAnA thayo te vakhate paNa zeTha maMgaLabhAIe satkAravidhi karyo. temaNe mane kahyuM ke, huM je tamArA hAthamAM mUkuM te levAnI nA nahi ja pADavI. meM kahyuM zuM che? to kahe hAthamAM paDe eTale jANI lejo. ema kahI temaNe eka dhotiyuM ane eka dupaTTo mArA khoLAmAM mUkyAM. A baMne kasabI ke rezamI kinArInA hovAnuM yAda che. meM kahyuM, maMgaLabhAI! tame mArI je paricaryA karI che teno ja bhAra mArA mATe vadhAre paDato che. vaLI A bhAra kyAM vadhAre! ane kharI vAta to e che ke, bhAra na thato hoya toya evAM kapaDAMne lAyaka huM nathI. huM kapaDAM evAM na paherI zakuM, je mArA deha karatAM vadhAre kImatI ke vadhAre suMdara hoya ! mAro ati Agraha joI te vakhate to teo cUpa rahyA, paNa mane vaLoTavA AvanAra mitra hIrAcaMda devacaMda sAthe huM na jANuM tevI rIte dupaTTo mokalyo ne sTezana upara mane teo Ape ema bhalAmaNa paNa karelI. chevaTe meM makkama rahI dupaTTo pAcho mokalyo ne kahevarAvyuM ke, jo tamArI bhakti ja hoya to pachI mArA badale hIrAcaMdabhAI jevAne Apajo. eka to teo tamArA dhArmika zikSaka che ne bIjuM teo dupaTTo rAkhe to tethI dupaTTAnI zobhA paNa vadha ItyAdi. amadAvAdane gADInI sITInI ja salAma karI muMbaI bhaNI UpaDyo. 5. becaraghasanI nirbhayatA muMbaI huM te vakhate ghATakopara Utarelo. tyAM bIjA mitro sAthe becaradAsa paNa rahetA. te vakhate becaradAsa upara saMghabahiSkAranAM vAdaLAM comera jhajhUmI rahyAM hatAM. temane ghaNA bhIprakRtivANiyAo mAphI mAMgavA samajAvatA, paNa teo makkama ne aNanama hatA. sAro sarakho sudhAraka varga ne amuka zrImAna varga paNa temanI paDakhe hato. tethI temanA aMgata kuTuMbano Agraha chatAM paNa temaNe saMghanI mAphI na mAMgI ne bahiSkArano sAmano karyo. huM pUnA pahoMcyo. munizrI jinavijayajI to hatA ja ne ramaNIkalAla mArA pahelAM ja pahoMcI gayelA eTale mAre to taiyAra bhANe ja besavAnuM hatuM. pUnAmAM oriyenTala konpharansa pUnA pahoMcyo to kharo, paNa paganI balA sAme AvI. oparezananI rUjha AvI na AvI ne huM jaladI pUnA javAnI dhUnane lIdhe cAlavA lAgelo ethI cAmaDI joIe

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pharI pUnA tarapha * 167 tevI majabUta nahi thayelI, vadhArAmAM muMbaInA sakhata varasAdamAM page pANImAM snAna kareluM. tethI pUnA jatAMveMta taLiye duHkhAvo UpaDyo. mane Dara lAgyo ke utAvaLa karIne kAcuM kapAyuM. zuM aMdara bagADa to nahi rahI gayo hoya ! ne pharI kapAvavA vAro to nahi Ave ! evI zaMkA-kuzaMkAthI ciMtAtura thaI eka DaoNkTara pAse batAvavA gayo. e bhalA DokTare joI tapAsI kahyuM ke duHkhAvo thoDAka divasamAM maTI jaze ne bhayanuM koI kAraNa nathI. ciMtA kAMIka zamI, paNa e sAva nirmULa to dazeka divasa pachI thaI. DaoNkTaranA kahevA pramANe dhIre dhIre paga mULa sthitimAM AvI gayo. - ame amArI pravRtti jhaDapabhera zarU karI. paMcapratikramaNa ne cothA karmagranthanuM meTara sAthe hatuM. tethI koI sArA presanI tajavIja karavA mAMDI, paNa dhAryuM tevuM suMdara kAma ApI zake tevo presa te vakhate tyAM na maLyo. tethI je kAMI bIjuM jarUrI lakhavAvAMcavAnuM kAma hatuM te zarU karyuM. haribhadrasUrino samayanirNaya' e nAmano eka maulika nibaMdha munizrI jinavijayajIe taiyAra karelo ne te ja varSamAM tyAM bharanArI oriyenTala konpharansamAM te vaMcAvAno hato. munijInI icchA tene saMskRtamAM anuvAdita karavAnI hatI. temaNe hindImAM e nibaMdha lakhelo. huM temanI sAthe saMskRta rUpAMtara mATe besato. chevaTe temane ane mane anubhava thayo ke AvuM rUpAMtaranuM kAma eka hAthe ja ThIka rIte thaI zake. tethI chevaTe e kAma temaNe ja hAtha dharyuM ne huM to ramaNIkalAla sAthenA mArA niyata kAryamAM paDI gayo. cothA karmagranthanAM pariziSTo ne prastAvanAnI taiyArI thatI gaI. ne kramekrame lakhAtAM paNa gayAM. vidyAvyAsaMga cAlu raheto. tyAM to oriyenTala kaoNnpharansanA adhivezananA divaso paNa AvI pahoMcyA. muMbaInA gavarnara bhAMDArakara insTiTayUTanuM uddaghATana karavA mATe AvelA. rAmakRSNa bhAMDArakara pote adhivezanamAM AvelA. bIjA paNa ghaNA vidvAnono navo paricaya thayo. temAM harisatya bhaTTAcArya, satIzacaMdra vidyAbhUSaNa, jevAno samAveza thAya che. mahAmahopAdhyAya lakSmaNa zAstrI draviDa vidyAbhUSaNajI sAthe AvelA. temano paricaya to mane kAzImAM raheto tyArathI ja hato, paNa A vakhate kAMIka te puSTa thayo. adhivezana prasaMge bhinna bhinna sthAnethI AvelA aneka niSNAtono savizeSa paricaya sAdhavAnI A saMdhi hatI, paNa e saMdhino pUrNa upayoga kare te pahelAM deve bIjo ja saMketa karyo.

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28, traNa yAdagAra prasaMgo muMbaInAM zrI maNibahena kApaDiyAno paricaya pUnA choDavAno prasaMga Ave te pahelAMnI eka-be agatyanI bAbato viSe paNa nirdeza karavo yogya che. pAlanapuramAM je lADubahena mArI pAse bhaNatAM ne mArA vizeSa paricayamAM AvelAM temaNe mane sUcavyuM ke jo tame pasaMda karo to eka bahena cotho karmagrantha chapAvavA mATe madada mAMge che. tethI tame mubaI AvI maLI jAva. huM ane ramaNIkalAla muMbaI gayA. dAdaramAM e bahenane maLyA. temaNe potAnI meLe ja eka hajAra rUpiyA e kAma badala koIpaNa jAtanI zarata vinA ApavA kahyuM. A bahena te maNibahena zivacaMda kApaDiyA. temanA jeTha hemacaMdabhAI mArA paricita hatA, paNa teo svargavAsI thayela hoI gharamAM have maNibahena ja mukhya hatAM. emanI sAthe mAro A prathama ja paricaya ne te temanA dAdarane baMgale thayo. te vakhate temanA badhA bhatrIjAo taddana nAnI uMmaranA hatA. maNibahenanA vAtsalya ane sauhArda tyAra bAda mane uttarottara eTalo badho kheMcyo che ke temaNe mArA jIvanamAM mArI sadgata moTIbahena maNinuM vadhAre saMskArI ane pUraka sthAna lIdhuM che. zrI vijayadharmasUri sAthe punarmilana emane viSe prasaMga AvatAM AgaLa upara huM kAMIka savizeSa paNa lakhIza paraMtu A mulAkAta prasaMge aNadhArI rIte eka AhalAdaka ghaTanA banI te mArA smRtipaTa upara UMDI aMkita che. meM vi. saM. 1964mAM kAzI yazovijayajI jaina pAThazALA choDelI tene lagabhaga 11 varSa thavA AvyAM hatAM, paNa ATalA vakhata daramyAna mArA jIvanamAM sAva palaTo ANavAnI taka pUrI pADanAra temaja bAhozInI jIvaMta mUrtisamAM vijayadharmasUrIzvarane kyAre paNa maLyo na hato. huM dAdara maNibahenane baMgale gayo tyAre te sUrIzvara ziSyo sAthe tyAM ja hatA. mArA manamAM kAMIka saMkoca hato ke, mahArAjajI zuM dhAratA haze? paNa temaNe to mane jotAMveMta harSathI satkArI mArA saMkocano paDado pheMkAvI ja dIdho. ame khUba mIThAzathI vAto karI. temanA eka vartamAna ziSya jayaMtavijayajI sivAyanA bIjA koI ziSya mArI sAthe sAmAnya ziSTAcAra pUratI

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traNa yAdagAra prasaMgo - 169 vAtacIta na karI. mArI ane vijayadharmasUrIzvaranI A mulAkAta chellI ja nIvaDI. tyAra bAda teo lAMbuM jIvyA nahi ane mane maLavAnI taka ja na sAMpaDI. huM emanAthI chUTo paDyo tyArathI temanA ane temanA ziSya-parivAranA manamAM mArA pratye aNagamo ne roSa hatAM ja, paNa A vakhate jyAre huM vijayadharmasUrIzvarane maLyo tyAre mArA mana upara emanA mArA viSenA saMtoSanI chApa paDI. emanA moTA mane kadAca ema mAnI ja lIdhuM haze ke bhale sukhalAla judo paDyo ne rahyo chatAM e je pravRtti karI ne kheDI rahyo che te mArA lakSyane anurUpa ja hoI mane saMtoSa Ape tevI ja che. game tema hoya, paNa mArA ekAMta hitaiSI ane sahAyaka e sUrIzvarane aNadhArI rIte maLavAnI je chellI taka maLI tenuM mUlya maNibahenanI Arthika madada karatAM anekagaNuM vadhAre meM manamAM AMkyuM che ane Aja paNa AMkuM chuM. khaMbhAtanA eka sagRhasthanI sahAyatA pUnAmAM hato tyAre eka divasa khaMbhAtathI eka sagRhastha taraphathI cAreka hajAra rUpiyAnI hUMDI AvI. patramAM e saddagRhastha lakheluM ke A tamArI sAhityika pravRttimAM kharacavA khAtara sanmitra kapUravijayajInA kahevAthI mokalAvuM chuM. A madada vaNamAgye aNadhArI rIte ja AvI tethI manamAM utsAha ane AnaMdanuM mojuM pharI vaLe e svAbhAvika hatuM, paNa vaNamAgI ane aNadhArI AvI rIte madada AvI tethI mArA mana upara javAbadArIno bhAre bojo AvI paDelo meM spaSTa anubhavyo. mane thayuM ke rakama nAnI hoya ke moTI, paNa ene mokalanAra temaja mokalavA preraNA karanAra baMnee mArA upara ATalo badho vizvAsa kayA AdhAre rAkhyo haze? ane jo temaNe vizvAsa rAkhyo ja che to have mAruM kartavyabaMdhana anekagaNuM vadhI jAya che. ema to mane spaSTa yAda che ke meM mane maLelI eka paNa pAIno jANI joI durupayoga karyo ja na hato ne mArA potAne vAste ochAmAM ochA kharce ne vadhAremAM vadhAre kApa karavAnI laganIthI ja meM jIvanamArga svIkArelo hato, paNa A prasaMga mArI savizeSa kasoTI karavA Avyo hoya ema mAnI meM ene dilathI ja vadhAvI lIdho. khaMbhAtathI Avela ne muMbaIthI maLelI badhI ja rakamo meM mArA ke ramaNIkalAlane nAme na rAkhatAM amArA nityanA kAryasAthI. bAbu DAlacaMdrajI jhaverIne nAme benkamAM jamA karAvI. ne e bAbujIne lakhI dIdhuM ke te te gRhasthone tame madadanI pahoMca lakhI do.

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29. pitAnA kArajano virodha lImalImAM pitAnA kArajano virodha je uddezathI pUnA ame AvelA te mukhya uddeza siddha thato na dekhAyo, paNa pUnAnA A vAsa daramiyAna jIvanamAM keTalAMka navAM prakaraNo umerAvavAnI taka maLI tethI mane te badala kAyamI saMtoSa ja rahyo che. mArA pitAzrInI mAMdagInA patro gharathI AvatA. chellA patramAM mArA bhAIoe lakheluM ke tamane pitAjI yAda kare che ne A vakhatanI mAMdagI amane vadhAre AzA ApatI nathI. huM ciMtAgrasta banI gharabhaNI javA UpaDyo. pUnA sTezane pahoMcuM te pahelAM rastAmAM ja temanA svargavAsano tAra maLyo. huM mArA bhatrIjA harajIvana ne bhatrIjI mRgAvatIne sAthe laI lImalI pahoMcyo. chellA divasomAM mane maLI levAnI pitAjInI icchA na saMtoSavAnuM mane duHkha hatuM. e sivAya mArA mana upara duHkhanI vadhAre UMDI chAyA hovAnuM yAda nathI. huM ghe2 2-4 divasathI vadhAre na rokAyo. jeTaluM rokAyo temAM mArI sAme mukhya prazna e hato ke, pitAjInuM kAraja ka2vAmAM mAre sammati ApavI ke nahi. bhAIonI sthiti sArI hatI. te varSomAM te ThIka-ThIka kamAyelA paNa kharA. mArA moTAbhAInuM valaNa kAraja karavAnuM nahi, paNa nAnA baMne bhAIonuM valaNa kAraja karavA tarapha majabUta hatuM. ane kuTuMbIo temaja kAkAo paNa e ja matanA hatA. AvA dabANathI mArA moTAbhAI cUpa rahetA ne lokaniMdAnA bhayathI DaratA paNa kharA. mane emAMnuM kAMI sparzatuM ja na hatuM. tethI huM to saune cokhkhacokhkhuM kahI deto ke A rivAja choDI ja devo joIe. dalIlathI ke bIjI rIte mArI sAme koI bacAva na karatA, paNa badhAne mAruM valaNa avyavahAru temaja phakIriyuM lAgatuM. mAro nAno bhAI ThAkarazI mane bahu ja mAne ane pUje che, paNa e sudhdhAM mane kahe ke bhAI paisA to Ave che ne jAya che. je nasIbamAM lakhyuM haze te anyathA thatuM ja nathI. enA niyativAdane huM koI paNa rIte samajAvI zakuM tema mane na lAgyuM. chevaTe meM bhAIone kahyuM ke bhale kAraja karajo, paNa TUMkamAM ja patAvajo. vaLI moTuM kAraja karavuM hoya topaNa tamArI icchA, paNa eka vAta dhyAnamAM rAkho ke atyAre,

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pitAnA kArajano virodha * 171 ghI rUpiyAnuM pAMca ke cha navaTAMka maLe che. thoDA divasamAM jyAre te sastuM thAya tyAre kAraja karo to zuM khoTuM ? mArA moTAbhAIe yukti jhaDapI laI saune kahI dIdhuM ke kAraja karavuM ja che, paNa thoDAka vakhata pachI ghI sastuM thaye joIzuM. huM to jaladI mArA raste paDyo ne aNInuM cUkayuM so varSa le e nyAye kAraja potAnA sthAne ja rahI gayuM.

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30. AgrAmAM kuTuMba saMskAranI pravRtti pUnAnI dizA na letAM meM AgrAnI dizA lIdhI, pUnAmAM chapAvavAnuM mukhya kAma saMbhavita na dekhAyuM. kharca paNa vadhe jato hato ne AgrAmAM zarU karelI pravRttio sAva baMdha paDI gaI hatI tethI mane pharI AgrA ja javAnuM yogya lAgyuM. - I. sa. 1919nA DisembaranI sakhata caDha hatI. meM mArI sAthe gherathI be bhatrIjIo ne eka pAMceka varSanA bhatrIjAne sAthe lIdhAM hatAM. moTo bhatrIjo harajIvana to pahelethI ja mArI sAthe hato ne mArA kAmamAM aneka rIte sahAyaka paNa thato. A vakhate bhatrIjIone sAthe levAmAM mArI anekavidha nema hatI. mAruM kuTuMba cheka ja nAnA gAmaDAmAM ne tyAM kanyAzikSaNa ke kanyAsaMskAranuM nAma ja nahi. mAre kuTuMbamAM mArI dRSTie kAMI paNa parivartana karavuM hoya to teno lAMbo, paNa sIdho rasto mane eka ja jaNAto hato ke, navI prajAne judI rIte ghaDavI. chokarIone sAthe rAkhI keLavaNI ApavAnuM kAma mArA mATe vadhAre paDatuM agharuM hatuM, paNa gharanI chokarIo hoya to e akhataro mane eTalo badho jokhamakAraka jaNAto nahi tethI huM ghara tarapha ja vaLyo. ramaNIkalAlanAM dharmapatnI tArAbahena tadana taruNa ne AgrAmAM gujarAtI tarIke ekalavAyAM ja paDatAM. tyAMnI sthAnika baheno maLatI hatI, AvatI jatI ne kAMIka bhaNatI paNa kharI chatAM e sahavAsa tArAbahena mATe mAtra be-cAra kalAka pUrato ja hato. gharanI kanyAo hoya to mAruM jokhama ochuM ne tArAbahenane hUMpha maLe tema ja temane pravRtti mATe kAMIka kSetra maLe e vicAra mArI yojanAno AdhAra hato. cheka pAMca varSanA bhatrIjAne AgrA jevA dUra pradezamAM ne hindIbhASI loko vacce laI javAno mAro uddeza e hato ke, jo A chokarAmAM gharanA ane gAmaDAnA pahelethI ja aNaghaDa saMskAro paDyA to AgaLa jatAM tene sthAne navA saMskAro nAkhavAnuM kAma vadhAre agharuM banaze. tethI mArA gharanA ja eka chokarA mATe e paNa prayoga karI jovo ke, cheka nAnapaNathI chokarAone gharathI dUra rAkhI zIkhavavA ne saMskAra ApavAnuM kAma keTaluM agharuM che ane kevuM pariNAmakAraka nIvaDe che? gharanAM bALako hoya eTale bahAranA bIjAono ghoMcaparoNo paNa nahi. mArI A dRSTi meM mArAM bhAIo ke bhojAIone vistArathI samajAvI na hatI. te

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AgrAmAM kuTuMbasaMskAranI pravRtti 7 173 badhAno mArA upara ananya vizvAsa eTale emane mana to mAruM vacana ja vedavAkya hatuM. vaLI huM samajAvuM toya mArA moTAbhAI sivAya bIjA AvI jhINI vAta samajI zake tema paNa na hatuM. kuTuMbIo ne gAmanA loko mArI pravRttine kutUhalathI jotA. temane A viSe kAMI samajAtuM nahi ne huM paNa temane kAMI samajAvavA prayatna ja karato nahi. mArI kalpanA e hatI ke, pariNAma ja lokone samajAvaze. samAja ne kuTuMba vyApApradhAna vaizya eTale temane paisAnI vAta jeTalI saraLatAthI samajAya ne pasaMda Ave teTalI vidyA ne saMskAranI vAta bhAgye ja samajAya, paNa Ama chatAM koI spaSTapaNe mArI ADe AvatuM nahi. tenuM kAraNa mane e lAgyuM che ke, meM ApabaLe ja mAro mArga karelo ne bhaNataranI dizAmAM kAMIka AgaLa vadhelo tema ja svAvalaMbI banelo eTale te badhA upa2 mArI zeha saheje paDatI. relayAtrAmAM nAtajAtano prazna paNa AgrA jatAM rastAmAM vacce mAravADamAM UtarI javuM mArA mATe jarUrI hatuM. kema ke sAdaDI (mAravADa)mAM zrI jaina zve. konpharansanuM adhivezana bharAnAra hatuM. mahesANA gADI badalI tyAre banela eka banAva sAmAnya chatAM sAmAjika mAnasanA abhyAsanI dRSTie upayogI temaja manoraMjaka hoI teno ullekha jato nathI karato. amAro saMgha pAMca jaNano hato. temAM be kizora kanyAo ne eka bALaka paNa hatAM. giradImAM jagyA bahu ochI ne thoDIka saMbhavita hatI tyAM paNa gADInI aMdara beThela pesenjaroe daravAjA baMdha karelA. ghaNI rakajhaka ane takarAre paNa rasto na karAvyo eTale mArA mitra khImacaMda bhUdharanI madadathI huM bArI vATe DabbAmAM dAkhala thayo ne nAnA chokarAne paNa laI lIdho, paNa bhatrIjIo ane moTo bhatrIjo chUTAM paDI bIjA koI paNa DabbAmAM dAkhala thaI gayAM jyAre e nAnA bhatrIjAne aMdara levAno vakhata Avyo tyAre bIjA pesenjaroe evI rIte dhakko mAryo ke te nIce gabaDI paDyo. ne gADI temaja plaeNTaphaoNrmanI vacce paDI gayo. sadbhAgye gADI UpaDavAne eka be miniTanI vA2 eTale tenA prANa to bacI gayA, paNa DabbAmAM peThyA pachI navuM ja nATaka thayuM. huM ane e bALaka DabbA vacce UbhAM hatAM. tyAM pesenjaromAM ghaNAkharA gujarAtI paTeliyAo hatA ne ekAda be jaNa suzikSita paNa hatA. temAM eka elaela.bI. nAgara paNa hatA. gADI cAlu thaI ne pesenjaronA prazno paNa cAlu thayA. koIe mane pUchyuM ke tame jAte koNa cho ? huM irAdApUrvaka cUpa rahyo. tarata ja bIjAe kahyuM tema baherA cho ke mUMgA cho ? javAba kema nathI ApatA ? huM aMtaHhAsapUrvaka vadhAre dhIraja rAkhI cUpa rahyo. eka trIjA bhalA bhAIe naramAzathI pUchyuM ke tamane jAta kahevAmAM aDacaNa che ? meM kahyuM ke huM mANasa chuM, mArI jAta ne tamArI jAta eka ja manuSyatAnI che. eka garama mijAjanA pesenjare

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174 0 mAruM jIvanavRtta kahyuM - tuM mANasa che e to ame badhA najare ja joI rahyA chIe. ame to tArI jAta ne nAta pUchIe chIe. meM hAsyane pUrepUruM kabajAmAM rAkhI vaLI dhIrethI kahyuM ke, mArI jAta viSe to meM tamane kahyuM ja che ke mArI jAta mANasanI che. eka tuMDamijAjI pesenjara khUba gusse thaI bolI UThyo ke tame badhA zA mATe pUcho cho ! e mANasa nAtajAta viSe javAba nathI deto to te kAM to DheDa haze kAM bhaMgI. mArI dhIraja ane zAMti kutUhala jovAnI dRSTie paNa vadhye ja jatAM hatAM. chevaTe AgaluM sTezana AvavAnI taiyArI hatI tyAM e ja kaTukabhAkhI pesenjara naramAzathI ane mIThAzathI kahyuM ke tuM sITa upara besI jA. ame jagyA karI ApIe chIe. bhale tArI nAtajAta game te hoya. meM kahyuM ke mane to UbhA rahevAmAM ja majA sTezana AvyuM ne keTalAka pesenjaro UtaryA tema ja UtaratI vakhate kAMIka babaDatA paNa gayA. ame baMne sITa upara to beThAM. pelA nAgara gRhastha joke DabbAmAM caDatI vakhate bhAre virodha karelo ane aMtarAya paNa nAMkhelo chatAM bIjA pesenjaro sAthe mAruM je vinodI nATaka bhajavAI rahyuM hatuM temAM te mauna ja hatA. emane kAMIka evo bhAsa thayo haze ke A mANasa ATalI vilakSaNatAthI vAtacIta kare che ne ciDAto nathI to e koI sajjana ja hovo joIe. have mArI vAta e nAgara gRhastha sAthe zarU thaI. mArA praznanA javAbamAM temaNe kahyuM ke kalakattA jAuM chuM ne vacce AgrA UtaravuM che. meM kahyuM ke to pachI tame mAre tyAM ja AgrA Avajo. tamane badhAM dazyasthAno jovAnI sArI sagavaDa maLI jaze. ema kahI meM mAruM ThekANuM ApyuM. mArA A vyavahArathI e bahu prasanna to thayA, paNa te vadhAremAM vadhAre zaramAI gayA hoya tema emanA svara uparathI lAgyuM. jene caDavA devAmAM bhAre aMtarAya nAMkhyo hato, jene chatI jagyA paNa ApavAmAM AnAkAnI karavAmAM AvI hatI ke jene nAtajAta vizenA praznonAM kaTu bANothI vIMdhavAmAM Avyo hato te mANasa ATalI bhalamanasAI batAve che ne tenuM paNa AgrA jevA dUra dezamAM kAMIka viziSTa sthAna che e bhAne kadAca te nAgara gRhasthane zaramAvyA hoya ! game tema hoya, paNa meM to temanI sAthe sabhAvathI ja vAto karI. amArA baMnenI vAto cAlatI te sAMbhaLI bAkIno pesenjaravarga paNa navAImAM paDyo. saune potAnA pUrvakRtya viSe pUro pazcAttApa thato hoya tema mane lAgyuM. koI kahe, tame ATalI sAMkaDI gyAmAM saMkocAIne zA mATe beso cho ! lyo. ame tamane pUrI jagyA karI ApIe chIe. koI kahe - A bALakane to sArI rIte besADo. ene khoLAmAM zA mATe rAkho cho ? koI kahe, gAMdhIjI zuM karavA dhAre che ? koI kahe ke gAMdhIjI DheDa bhaMgIone badhA sAthe eka kare che to emane sArA loko madada ApavI baMdha nahi kare ? Ama pahelAMnuM

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AgrAmAM kuTuMbasaMskAranI pravRtti 0 175 hAsyapradhAna vidUSakIya nATaka have sukhada vArtAlApamAM pariNamavuM ne AgaluM sTezana AvatAM ja Dabbo khAlI jevo thaI gayo. A banAva vakhate lokonA mAnasanuM adhyayana karavAnI eTalI badhI sArI taka mane maLI ke jyAre jyAre enuM smaraNa Ave che tyAre lokamAnasanA upalA ane nIcalA, narasA ane sArA, Agantuka ane sAhajika vividha staronAM dazyo mArI najara sAme khaDAM thAya che. Avo madhura prasaMga prApta thayo na ho to eTalI bhIDamAM bhAre gUMgaLAmaNano anubhava thayo hota ane rasto paNa lAMbo lAgyo hota.

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31. sAdaDImAM jaina zvetAMbara konpharansa jatAM AvatAM pAlanapura sTezanathI pasAra thavuM paDe tyAre mosama hoya to tyAMthI zeraDI khUba kharIdavAno praghAta ghaNAM varSo thayAM paDelo. te pramANe khUba zeraDI lIdhI. AthI pAcanakriyA ne ArogyamAM to sudhArAno anubhava to hato ja, paNa sAthe sAthe relapravAsano kaMTALo ghaTyAno paNa anubhava hato. ame rAtre phAlanA sTezana UtaryA. te pahelAMthI ja jANItuM to hatuM ja, paNa vadhArAmAM sAmethI AvatAM dilhI meilamAMthI paNa keTalAka jANItA saddagRhastho tyAM ja UtaryA eTale ke mijalasa ja jAmI. e utAruomAM jaina samAjamAM jANItA jayapuravALA gulAbacaMdajI DhaDhA M. A. paNa hatA. sAdaDIthI svayaMsevako baLadagADAM laI mahemAno ane pratinidhione levA AvyA hatA. rAta pasAra thaI vahANAM vAyAM. sUryamahArAje darzana dIdhAM. teno asmalita gatiratha khUba AgaLa dhapyo. pahelo prahara vItavA Avyo, paNa meM gADIvAnomAM svayaMsevako ke mahemAnomAM koI UpaDavAno saMcAra na joyo. tyAMthI retImAM belagADI dvArA cha gAu kApavAnA hatA. kyAre sAdaDI pahoMcIzuM ne annajaLa bhegA thaIzuM e paNa ciMtA hatI. mArI mUMjhavaNa vadhye jatI hatI, paNa keme karI UpaDanAra kAphalAno nidrAbhaMga thato na joyo. meM zrI gulAbacaMda DhaDhuDhAne sAkSepa kahyuM, A tamArI mAravADa ane tamArA jevA sTeTa amaladAranI A kriyAzIlatA! kAMI kAma vinA zAnI rAha jovAya che e ja samajAtuM nathI. gADIvAno UpaDavAnA hukamanI rAha jotA haze ! utArao gADIo cAle eTale besavAnI rAha jotA haze ! ne svayaMsevako utAruonA pharamAnanI rAha jotA haze ! Ama ekabIjAnI rAhamAM samaya to koInI rAha jovA sivAya cAlya ja jato hato. koI paNa kAma karavAmAM hindIonuM sAmUhika kaI rIte varte che enuM daya mAravADanA dezI rAjyanI prajAmAM maLyuM. chevaTe meM DhaDhuDhAjIne kahyuM tame ja movaDI bano ne cAlavAno Adeza Apo. DhaDhuDhAjIne rajapUtI ne amaladArI cAnaka caDI hoya tema temaNe hAthamAM soTI laI gADIvAnone calAvavAno hukama ApatAM dezI rAjyanA amaladAranA moDhAmAM zobhe tevI ne hoya teTalI gALono varasAda varasAvyo. A gALo sAMbhaLatAM ja gADIvAnonA lohImAM kAMIka garamI AvI ne jI hajUra karatAM baLado joDavA lAgyA. baLado joDAyA, gADImAM sAmAna mukAyo, besAruo gADI pAse

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sAdaDImAM jaina zvetAMbara kaoNnpharansa - 177 cAlavAnI rAha jotAM UbhA rahyA. emAMya ekAda kalAka pasAra thayo, paNa hajI eka gADInuM paiDuM casakyuM nahi. vaLI pAchA DhaDhAjI vahAra AvyA. tyAre gADIo cAlu ka2vI ema to gADIvAnoe nakkI karyuM, paNa have rAha jovAtI pahelAM koI gADI calAve enI. koI pahelAM gADI calAvavA rAjI na hatuM. dareka pAchaLa rahevA icchato. gADIvAnonI A jaDatA dUra karavA to DhaDhAjIne soTI paNa ugAmavI paDI, joke te koInA upara paDI nahi. meM DhaDhAjIne kahyuM ke AvI gALo ApavI ne ATalA badhA dhamakAvavA e barAbara nathI. teo kahe, paMDitajI ! ema karyA vinA lokomAM kAma thatuM ja nathI. ame chevaTe moDe moDe sAdaDI pahoMcyA. bIjI badhI vyavasthA karatAM vadhAre sarasa vyavasthA jamavAnI hatI. jAtajAtanI sarasa tAjI mAravADI mIThAIo ne bIjI vastuoe badho thAka ne badho kaMTALo dUra karyo. huM vijayavallabhasUrine maLyo. mArA javAthI teo rAjI thayelA dekhAyA. pahoMcyAne bIje divase gayelo, pahelI vAra bikAnera sTeTanA sujAnagaDhamAM ane bIjI vAra muMbaImAM. tethI mAre mATe Avo prasaMga jarAya navo na hato. pramukhanI varaNI, kAryapaddhati ne carcanIya viSayo tema ja pAsa karavAnA TharAvo e badhA viSe mane kalpanA hatI ja. huM jANato hato ke AvAM adhivezanomAM javuM mArA mATe sAva nirarthaka che ane kALayApana mAtra che. chatAM huM gayelo te bAbu DAlacaMdajInA AgrahathI ane kAMIka aMze kutUhala temaja vijayavallabhasUrinA anurodhathI. dareka adhivezanamAM pahelethI sAmAnya rIte banatuM AvyuM che tema A vakhate paNa pramukhanI varaNI thayelI. komI saMsthAonAM adhivezanomAM sarvatra moTe bhAge paisA ja pramukhasthAnanI yogyatAnI kasoTI bane che. A adhivezanamAM hoziyArapura (paMjAba)vALA lAlA dolatarAmajI pramukha tarIke pasaMda karAyelA. emane huM pahelethI ja jANato. hoziyArapura temane tyAM 15 divasa atithi thayelo. teo vi. sa. 1965mAM bIjA be mitro sAthe kAzI amAre tyAM AvI UtarelA. temanAmAM konpharansanA pramukha thavAnI koI paNa vadhAremAM vadhAre yogyatA hoya to te eTalI ja hatI ke te konpharansane kAMIka Arthika madada kare ane tethIya vadhAre yogyatA to e hatI ke teo vijayavallabhasUrinA khAsa anuyAyI hatA. sAdaDImAM je adhivezana bharAI rahela hatuM tenA preraka mAtra vijayavallabhasUri ja hatA. buddhi, caritra ke vyavasthAzaktinI dRSTie, koI paNa rIte yogya na hovA chatAM jyAre lAlA dolatarAmajI pramukhanI khurazI upara beThA tyAre ja huM aneka AzcaryomAM DUbI gayo. manamAM thayuM ke adhivezanamAMthI besatAveMta UThI javuM te karatAM svAgatAdhyakSanuM vyAkhyAna sAMbhaLavA jeTalI dhIraja rAkhavI e sAruM che.

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178 - mAruM jIvanavRtta svAgatadhyakSa mALavA - pratApagaDhavALA lakSmIcaMdajI dhiyA hatA. te paNa mArA paricita hatA. te zAstrarasika ne vidyApremI hatA, paNa temanuM vyAkhyAna chAzabAkaLA jevuM hatuM. eka vAkya bole ne dADhImUcha upara hAtha pherave, jANe ke temAMthI sarasvatI kAMIka madada Apaze. viSaya to tANItUsIne bolavAno hato. mAruM kutUhala ane zairya baMne sAthe ja pUrNa thayA. huM utAre Avyo ne te ja divase tyAMthI nIkaLI javAno nirdhAra karI lIdho. koIne khoTuM lAgaze enI paravA karyA vinA UpaDI gayo ne rAte phAlanA sTezane pahoMcyo. jouM chuM to tyAM sTezana upara be-cAra atiparicita ne saMbhAvita muMbaIgarA gRhastho paNa hatA. teo paNa adhivezanane adhUruM ja mUkIne mArI peThe AvelA. temAM eka to hatA sAkSara mohanalAla dalIcaMda desAI ne bIjA makanajI berisTara. A baMne konpharansanA mukhya kAryakaro paikI ja gaNAya. trIjA gRhastha zeTha devakaraNa mULajI hatA, je vijayavallabhasUrinA viziSTa bhakta hatA. te badhA amRtasaramAM bharAnAra koMgresanA adhivezana prasaMge tyAM jaI rahyA hatA. temanI sAthe cAlavAnA Agrahane TALI huM to AzA ja cAlyo gayo kema ke AgrAnAM kAmo mArI rAha joI rahyAM hatAM. pUnAmAM ramaNIkalAla hatA te paNa sapatnIka AgrA AvI gayA ne adhUrAM kAma ame pharI hAthamAM lIdhAM.

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32. 'sanmati'no AraMbha ane Apattio paMcapratikramaNanuM chApakAma mAre mATe sauthI paheluM kAma be lakhela taiyAra paDela pustako chapAvI kADhavAnuM hatuM. siMdhIjInI kaLAvRtti ne bhAvanA saMtoSAya evI chApakhAnAnI goThavaNa AgrAmAM na joI eTale ame nirNayasAgaramAMthI tAbaDatoba TAipa maMgAvavAnI ne kalakattAthI kAgaLa maMgAvavAnI peravI karI. baMne cIjo AvI gaI eTale goThavaNa pramANe tyAMnA gItA presamAM pahelAM paMcapratikramaNanuM chApakAma zarU karAvyuM. sArAmAM sAruM meTara taiyA2 ka2vAmAM je mahenata paDe che tethI huM kAMIka TevAyelo, paNa sarasatara chapAmaNInI ciMtA ane mahenatano A vakhate je anubhava thayo teNe mane e tAlIma ApI ke, tAre to kadI chapAmaNInI ciMtA ne khaTapaTanI sIdhI javAbadArI levI ja nahi. I. sa. 1920nA prAraMbha sAthe ja bIjI pravRtti paNa zarU karavAmAM AvI hatI. temAM sanmatitarkanuM kAma mukhya hatuM. kSamAmuni dvArA sanmati'no prAraMbha kAzImAM keTaloka vakhata rahI adhyayana karela be munio daivayoge AgrA AvI caDyA temAM eka kSamAmuni hatA. te svabhAve madhura, milanasAra ne kArye hatA. temaNe mane kahyuM, huM kAMIka kAma karavA icchuM chuM, jo tame mArI zaktino upayoga karo to huM badhI rIte taiyAra chuM. mane to joItuM jaDayuM. emanI khaMta mahenatu prakRti, ne yogyatAno vicAra karI ame nakkI karyuM ke sanmatitarkanuM saMzodhana, saMpAdana ane bhASAMtara karavuM. enI jaMgala jevI vistIrNa ane jaTila TIkAne prathama hAthamAM na letAM, mULa mAtrane lagatuM kAma karavuM. kalpanA e hatI ke, nAnuMsarakhuM mULa evaDI moTI TIkAnAM lakhela pAnAMomAM jyAM tyAM vikharAyeluM paDyuM che to mULanAM te te aMzone tenA pUratI vyAkhyA sAthe juMdAM tAravavAM ne mAtra teTalI ja saMskRta-TIkAne susaMbaddha rUpe mULa sAthe spaSTa karato anuvAda paNa karavo, jethI saMskRta dvArA ne hindI dvArA mULa sanmati prakaraNa saraLatAthI gamya bane ne AjasudhI abhyAsakramamAMthI upekSita rahI gaye e mahattvano grantha pharI prakAzamAM Ave. A dRSTithI kSamAmunine sanmatinI likhita pothIo ApI kAmanI dizA ne paddhati sUcavI. temaNe e kAma prAraMbhyuM.

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180 * mAruM jIvanavRtta daramyAna amadAvAdathI 5. bhagavAnadAsa paNa AgrA mArA kAmamAM sAtha ApavA AvI pahoMcyA. te pote suyogya zAstrajJa hovA uparAMta madhura svabhAvanA hoI kSamAmuni sAthe joDAI gayA. ne baMne eka ja kAma karavA lAgyA. mahinomAsa kAma cAlyuM na cAlyuM tyAM to deve potAno krUra paMjo upADyAnAM lakSaNo dekhAvA lAgyAM. kSamAmuninuM mRtyu ane bIjI Apattio AgrAmAM ttepura sikrIne raste dAdAsAhebano bagIco che. temAM jainamaMdira che. A bagIco akabare hIravijayasUrine samarpita karyAnuM kahevAya che. te jagyA vizALa che ne tyAM AgrAnA zvetAMbara saMghanA aneka sabhyoe potapotAnAM makAno banAvelAM che, je ekaMdara saMghanI ja mAlIkInAM gaNAya. A bagIcAmAMnA maMdiramAM mUrtinI punaH pratiSThA karavAnuM nakkI thayuM. kSamAmunie e pratiSThA saMpanna karI. unALo zarU thayo hato. pratiSThA saMpanna thayA pachI kSamAmuni zaheramAM AvyA ne tAvamAM paTakAyA. jotajotAMmAM teonA prANa UDI gayA. AthI temanA sahacara sAdhune ke temanA sahodara bhAIne je pahelAM muni hatA ne pachI munipada choDI ghera gayelA tema ja AgrAnA zrI saMghane duHkha ke AghAta thayAM haze te karatAM vadhAre AghAta amane thayo. Ama kAma baMdha thaze e bhayathI nahi, paNa evA atizaya sajjana sAdhumitranA ekAeka sadAne mATe UThI javAthI. jANe ATaluM basa na hoya tema deve bIjo paMjo paNa upADyo. paM. bhagavAnadAsane lAMghamAM gUmaDuM UpaDI AvyuM ne te bhagaMdararUpe dekhAyuM. enI zastrakriyA karAvavAmAM AvI, ne temane tyAMnI haoNspiTalamAM rAkhavAmAM AvyA. ATaluM paNa basa na hoya tema vaLI vadhArAmAM ramaNIkalAla, temanAM patnI ne mArI bhatrIjIo e badhAM javaramAM sapaDAyAM. huM ne mAro bhatrIjo harajIvana be ja atyAra lagImAM bacyA hatA. garamI kahe mAruM kAma ne tAvanI satAmaNI kahe mAruM kAma. nokarI maLe nahi. huM sAva parataMtra ne eka bImAra hospiTalamAM ne bAkInA eka aTUlA judA dUranA makAnamAM. eTale badhAnI paricaryAne pahoMcI vaLavAnuM kAma mAtra harajIvana upara AvyuM. huM to mAtra moDhe sUcanA karuM ke hukama dauM eTaluM ja. hiMmata to mArI jarAya tUTI hoya tema yAda nathI AvatuM. paNa bImAronI ciMtA mane ujAgarA karAvatI. keTalAka divasa pasAra thayA ne meM nakkI karyuM ke Icche te bImArone potapotAnA vatanamAM mokalI devA. acAnaka anukULa saMyoga Avyo. mArA ne bhagavAnadAsanA ekasarakhA paricita ne mitra gujarAtathI AvI caDelA. temanI sAthe bhagavAnadAsane sekanDa klAsamAM amadAvAda ravAnA karI dIdhA. ramaNIkalAla ne temanAM patnIne paNa tyAra bAda te ja rIte ravAnA karyA. ravAnA thatI vakhate ramaNIkalAle mane kahyuM ke huM have ahIM na AvuM ne amadAvAda gAMdhIjInA AzramamAM joDAu to kema ? ema paNa kahyuM ke AzramamAM

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sanmati'no AraMbha ane Apattio - 181 rahI jIvanasAdhanA karuM ne tame ahIM vidyAsAdhanA karo. pachI ekabIjA maLIzuM ne parasparanA anubhavono lAbha ApIzuM ne laIzuM. gAMdhIjInuM rASTriya AMdolana ane ramaNIkabhAInI vidAya A samaya daramyAna AkhA dezamAM rASTriyatAnuM AMdolana AMdhInI peThe gAMdhIjIne kA2Ne phelAI rahyuM hatuM. mAruM paNa te tarapha tyAre AkarSaNa hatuM. eka to huM parataMtra eTale sIdhI rIte tevAM AMdolanomAM kAma na karI zakuM. ne bIjuM zarU karelI vidyA tema ja sAhityanI badhI pravRttionI mukhya javAbadArI mArI hoI tene adhavaca mUkI bIjuM kAMI paNa kAma karavAnI mArA svabhAve ja mane nA pADI. tethI meM ramaNIkalAlane AzramamAM joDAvAnI saharSa sammati ApI ne ema mAnI lIdhuM ke 2maNIkalAla anubhava ka2ze te mane paNa vahelomoDo upayogI nIvaDaze. vaLI badhAe eka ja kAmamAM zA mATe rokAvuM ? joke meM ramaNIkalAlane sammati ApI hatI, paNa meM mAthe lIdhela kAryonI javAbadArI jotAM te vakhate mArI muzkelInI sImA na hatI. huM yojanA karuM, vAMcuM-vicAruM, bahu to lakhAvuM, paNa chevaTe A badhAM kAmane mudraNanuM mUrta rUpa ApavuM hoya tyAre to suyogya draSTA sAthI joIe ja. evA koI sAthInI bhALa ke prApti thayA pahelAM ja huM ekalo paDI gayo ne kAma pUruM karavAnI ciMtA hoya eTale mUMjhavaNa vadhe e svAbhAvika hatuM. badhAya saMbaMdhInI vidAyanuM duHkha ATaluMya adhUruM hoya tema eka navI Aphata mArI parIkSA levA dhAratI hoya tema AgaLa AvI. mAro pAMcacha varSano bhatrIjo jyasiMha TAiphoIDamAM sapaDAyo ne muMbaIthI AvI caDela mArA nikaTanA mitra paMDita vrajalAlajI paNa paTakAyA. vrajalAlajI be aThavADiyAM pachI sAjA thaI mALavAmAM cAlyA gayA, paNa jayasiMhano TAiphoIDa to 35 divasa cAlyo. e bhAgye ja sAMbhaLe ne bhAgye ja bole. chevaTe TAiphoIDa gayo eTale meM dhAryuM ke have huM ekalo chuM to A badhAM bALaka-bAlikAonI javAbadArI A dUra dezamAM vahevI ne sAhityapravRtti calAvavI e mAre mATe baMdhabesatuM nathI. mArA moTAbhAI khuzAlacaMdrane vatanamAMthI bolAvI temanI sAthe badhAM ja bALaka-bAlikAone ghe2 mokalAvI huM vagaDAmAM ekalo bAvaLano ThUMTho Ubho hoya tema ekalo ja rahI gayo. nahi ene DALo, nahi ene pAMdaDAM, nahi chAyA ne nahi paMkhIono madhura kalarava. ekalo rahI gayo eTale eka rIte bhAra ocho thayo, paNa bIjI rIte adhUrAM kAmone yogya rIte saMpanna karavAnI ciMtAno bhAra khUba hato. eka bAju gItA presamAM maMDaLanA paisAthI ja TAipo kharIdI ApelA. kalakattAthI kAgaLo maMgAvI soMpelA. pratikramaNanuM meTara kaMpojha karavA ApeluM. ne bIjI bAju A kAmane yogya rIte jue ne saMtoSa thAya tevuM kAma kare evo koI nahi. tethI mArI sthiti nadIvyAghranyAya jevI

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182 0 mAruM jIvanavRtta banI gaI hatI. paisAno abhAva na hato. bAbu DAlacaMdajInA utsAhamAM paNa kamI na hatI. temanA bhAIonA ne bIjA AgrAvAsI mitronI paNa mArA pratye bahu cAhanA hatI. chatAM mArI icchA pramANe kAma karanAra suyogya sAthInI kamI mane jaMpa vALIne besavA detI nahi. koI evA sAthInI, bIjA paricArakanI zodha cAlu ja hatI. dharmadaSTie AhAracarcA - unALA ne bImArIonA bevaDA garama vAyarA mArI AsapAsa phUkAI pasAra thaI rahyA hatA tyAre meM khAnapAnamAM eka navuM ja parivartana karyuM hatuM. nAno hato tyArathI DuMgaLI, lasaNa, baTATAM vagere kaMdamULano tyAga ja karelo. kAzImAM ane pUnAmAM ghaNA mitroe baTATAnA guNo tema ja tenI sulabhatA varNavI mane te levA kaheluM, paNa atyAra lagImAM hu baTATAM levA tarapha vaLelo nahi. AgrAnA A be mAsa daramyAna sthiti evI AvI ke mAre tenA upara vicAra karavo paDyo. divase ne rAte ujAgarA karavA paDe. anAja khAvuM pAlave nahi. dUdha ghaNuM maLe, paNa dareka vakhate te levuM phAve nahi ane bhAve paNa nahi. bImArI mATe pANI to garama karAvavuM ja paDatuM. vrajalAlajInI mAtA pANI garama kare tyAre baTATA bAphI letAM ne te upara moTe bhAge nabhatAM. temaNe mane kahyuM ke sukhalAla, tame avAranavAra bAphela baTATAM lyo to kAMIka bhUkha paNa zame, dUdhanI ruci paNa thAya ne ujAgarAmAM bAdhA paNa na Ave. meM pahelAM to bahu saMkoca sAthe eka bApheluM baTATuM khAdhuM. tyAra bAda te upara vicAra karatAM mane baTATAM levAno mArga saraLa ne nirdoSa jaNAyo. tyArathI ja meM baTATAM levA zarU karyA te adyApi cAlu che. DuMgaLI ne lasaNa viSe mane ghaNA dezI vaidyamitro ke kuTuMbo vacce paNa lAMbo vakhata rahyo chuM eTale e baMnenA vaparAzanA phAyadAo jANuM chuM. ene khAvAmAM daDha jaino mAne che evuM pApa mAnato kyAranoya maTI gayo chuM. chatAM Aja lagI ene khAvAnI mArI rUci sahajapaNe jAgI ja nathI. huM pote DuMgaLI ne lasaNa leto nathI, paNa te je letA hoya tene ADe kadI nathI Avato, eTaluM ja nahi, paNa jarUra paDatAM tene te vastuo lAvI ApavAmAM madada karuM chuM ane ruci dharAvatA hoya tene e vastuo khAvAnuM uttejana ApatAM saMkocato paNa nathI. vo, devIbhakto ane tAMtrikomAM mAMsamadyanA sevanano pratibaMdha nathI, jyAre badhA ja vaiSNavomAM jenonI peThe mAMsa-madyanA sevana upara sakhata pratibaMdha hoya che. DuMgaLIlasaNanI bAbatamAM vaiSNavo jeno jeTalA ja kadara hoya che, paNa DuMgaLI-lasaNanI vardhatA pAchaLa vaiSNavonuM dRSTibiMdu jainonA dRSTibiMduthI sAva nirALuM che. anantakAya hovAne kAraNe ahiMsAnI dRSTithI jaino DuMgaLI-lasaNane ekAnta vajya mAne che, jyAre vaiSNavo ane zaivo mAtra zAstraniSiddha hovAne kAraNe ja tene varSa mAne che. DuMgaLI ke lasaNamAM ananta jIvarAzi che ne tethI te akhAdya che evuM jaina dRSTibindu na svIkAravA chatAM

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"sanmatino AraMbha ane Apattio * 183 enI vardhatA vaiSNavo tathA zaivo svIkAre che te uparathI enI vardhatAnuM sAmAnya kAraNa zodhavAnI lAlaca jijJAsuone thaI Ave te svAbhAvika che. mane ema lAge che ke mULamAM enI gaMdhane kAraNe enI vardhatA upara koI eka saMte ke paMthe bahu bhAra Apelo pachI enI varjyatAnuM AMdolana prasaratAM koIe tenuM ahiMsAnI dRSTie samarthana karyuM to bIjA koIe na pADuM nakSata, nAsukhe vApi vartata ityAdi vAkyone zAstra lekhI zAstrAdhAre tenI vardhatA mAnI che. baTATAnI bAbatamAM vaiSNavo ke zaivone tevo koI zAstrAdhAra nathI maLyo tethI teo tene chUTathI khAya che, jyAre jeno ene anantakAya gaNI varSa mAne che. caraka-suzruta jevA vaidyaka granthomAM DuMgaLI ne lasaNanA guNo batAvelA hovAthI tema ja jaina prajJApanA sUtramAM DuMgaLI-lasaNano ullekha Avato hovAthI te vastuo bhAratamAM pAchaLathI AvI ne tethI varSa manAI ema nahi kahI zakAya. jyAre baTATAnI bAbatamAM ema kahI zakAze. baTATAno ullekha eTalo jUno nathI maLato. te paradezathI bhAratamAM moDemoDe AvyAM che. bahArathI Ave te vastune bhAratanA dhArmiko pahelavahelA adharma mAnI varjya gaNe che. ne pachI krame krame varyu gaNavA chatAM ene pacAvI paNa le che. baTATAnI bAbatamAM AvuM ja kAMIka banyuM che ema mane lAgyuM che, paNa te anantakAya hoya toya huM tene varjavA jeTalI ahiMsAnI dRSTie tyAga karI dhArmika hovAno daMbha sevavAnuM mane pasaMda na AvyuM. ne tethI ja meM baTATAM na khAvAno nAnI uMmarathI pALelo niyama choDI ja dIdho.

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33. bImArIne kAraNe yAtrAo zrI rAmanArAyaNanI sahAya have huM mArI mULa ciMtA tarapha vaLe to ja te saMgata gaNAya. joIto samartha mANasa na lAdhyo toya paNa kAma to calAvavuM ja hatuM. eTale 5. rAmanArAyaNanI madada levAnuM meM pasaMda karyuM. rAmanArAyaNajI nAnA hatA tyArathI temanA pitA sAthe mArI pAse AvatA. teo saMskRta sAruM jANe ne thoDoka prAkRta bhASAno tema ja jaina prakaraNa granthono temane paricaya paNa kharo. svabhAve te eTalA badhA namra ne khaDatala ke temanAthI kAma levAmAM mane jarAya saMkoca thAya tema na hatuM. teo rahetA paNa mArA sthAnanI najIka. emanI madadathI pUro jovAnuM kAma zarU karyuM. ne kAma AgaLa cAlu karyuM. huM e divasomAM jamato. paNa rAmanArAyaNajIne tyAM. te baMne bhAIo mArI saMbhALa bahu rAkhe. hajI paNa temano sadbhAva ane vyavahAra mArA pratye tevo ja che. joke teo have to saMskRtanA paMDita hovA uparAMta aMgrejI paNa jANe che ke hAIskUlamAM saMskRtanA mukhya adhyApaka paNa che. rAmanArAyaNajInI madadathI kAma cAlu rAkhavA chatAM bIjI anubhavI yogya vyaktinI zodhamAM huM satata raheto ja. ghI-madhanA mizraNathI tAva acAnaka huM tAvamAM sapaDAyo. enA kAraNa viSe meM vicAra karyA to mane te jaDI AvyuM. bIjAone paNa mAhitI upayogI hovAthI teno paNa nirdeza karI dauM chuM. madha ane ghI baMne thoDAka samayane aMtare AgaLapAchaLa meM lIdhela te ja tAvanuM kAraNa banyAM haze ema mane cokkasa lAgyuM. ghI ane madha samapramANamAM sAthe levAthI jhera bane che ema meM sAMbhaLeluM. tethI meM baMne vastuone sAthe na letAM AgaLa pAchaLa lIdhI. bapore presamAM javuM hatuM ne bhUkha sakhata vyApI hatI. thoDuMka ghI cATyuM. bhUkha zamI na dekhAI. tethI thoDI vAra pachI thoDuMka madha paNa lIdhuM. baMnenuM samapramANa mizraNa jhera thatuM hoya ke nahi te to anubhavI jANe, paNa A baMne vastuonuM ochI-vadhatI mAtrAmAM ane AgaLa pAchaLa kareluM sevana mane bhAre paDyuM. garamImAM dUra presamAM gayo ne Avyo e paNa emAM nimitta banyuM hoya to nA nahi, paNa ghaNuM karI te ja divase

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bImArIne kAraNe yAtrAo * 185 mane sAMje tAve darzana dIdhAM. meM mArI Dhabe upacAro karyA, paNa saphaLa na thayo eTale vicAryuM ke kyAMka bahAra jAuM to sAruM. ajamera ane puSkaramAM laDAImAMthI pAcho pharela eka panAsiMha nAmano sainika hato tene nokara rAkhelo. tethI tenI sAthe meM ajamera tarapha prayANa karyuM. ajamera javAthI sthAnaparivartana thaze. tyAMnAM havA-pANI paNa sArAM che ema dhArI meM ajamera sudhI javAnuM pasaMda karyuM. sTezananI najIka barAbara sAme hIrAcaMda sucaMtInI dharmazALAmAM dhAmA nAkhyA. garamI to tyAM paNa apAra hatI. ne tAve pIcho na choDyo. chevaTe e dharmazALAnA mAlika hIrAcaMda sucaMtI mane potAne tyAM laI gayA. emaNe sarabharA to khUba karI, paNa tethI tAvamAM kazo phera na paDyo. mAruM mana tyAMthI paNa UpaDyuM. sucaMtInI salAha paDI ke, huM puSkararAja jAuM to te sthAna anukULa thaze ane tAva Utaraze. temanI ja vyavasthAthI temanA ja DamaNiyAmAM huM puSkararAja gayo. tAva paNa DamaNiyA pahelAM ja tyAM pahoMcI gayo hoya tema lAgyuM. tyAMnAM taLAvo, maMdiro, paMDyAe vagere je kAMI jovA-jANavA jevuM hatuM temAM tAvanI ciMtAne kAraNe bahu rasa na paDyo ne pharI kyAreka nirAMte AvI joIzuM evI IcchA sAthe puSkararAjane paNa namaskAra karyo. ajameramAM be jaNa paricita maLI gayA. eka hatA vaidya ne bIjA hatA paMDita. baMne digaMbara. kAzImAM hato tyArathI ja teo mArA jANItA kema ke teo mArI najIkamAM ja rahetA ne bhaNatA. vaidya mitrasene mane tAvanI davA ApI. temano Agraha chatAM huM tAva jAya tyAM sudhI na rokAyo, paNa temanI davA phAkI mAravADa tarapha ravAnA thaI gayo. 5 bhAmaMDaLadevano yoga je bIjA paMDitano nirdeza meM karyo che temanuM nAma bhAmaMDaLadeva. te kAzImAM vidyArthI avasthAmAM hatA tyAre mArI pAse nyAya-vyAkaraNa bhaNatA. tethI eka rIte mane bahu mAnatA. mULe AgrAnA nivAsI chatAM teo ajameramAM kAma karatA, surata vagere zaheramAM presanuM kAma kareluM hovAthI temane chapAvavAno ThIka ThIka anubhava hato. meM temane AgrA lAvavAnuM nakkI karyuM ne kahI dIdhuM ke tame anukULatAe AgrA pahoMcI jAo, huM jaladI svastha thaI mAravADathI pAcho pharIza. nAnI mAravADamAM phalanA sTezana UtaravuM hatuM. tyAM vijayavallabhasUri comAsuM hovAthI ne sArAM havApANInI saMbhAvanAthI meM phAlanA pasaMda kareluM. gADImAM beTho tyAre pelA vaidhe ApelI phAkI lIdhelI. mane pachI jaNAyuM ke e recaka dravya che. gADI phalanA UbhI na rahetI tethI eraNapurA UtarI gayo. davAe paNa asara karI. recathI maLa ane tAva baMne sAthe jatAM hoya evo mane bhAsa thayo. bhUkha kahe mAruM kAma. chevaTe gin Education International

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186 mAruM jIvanavRtta phUlanA pahoMcyo tyAre jaTharAgnine havi adhyuM. pahelAM jeTalA vegathI to tAva na Avyo, paNa kAMIka haLavo paDyo. vijayavallabhasUri ne temanA ziSya parivArano Agraha chatAM pAMceka divasathI huM vadhAre na rokAyo. kema ke mArI ciMtA bIjI ja hatI. tAva moLo paDyo ne mAravADanAM havApANIe tAjagI arpe eTale pAcho AgrA AvI kAme lAgI gayo. harasanI takalIpha ane UMjhAyAtrA. bhAmaMDaLadevane prasanuM kAma soMpI huM mArA ciMtana-manana-lekhananA kAmamAM paDyo to kharo, paNa pAchI tabiyata kathaLI. harasathI lohI paDavuM zarU thayuM ne tAva paNa sAva to gayo ja na hato. aMgata paricArakanI jarUra hatI ja. phatepura (hasavA jillAnA eka bhAI lakSmInArAyaNa pahelAM mArI pAse pATaNamAM rahelA. temane bolAvI lIdhA. tethI paricaryAnI to ciMtA rahI ja nahi. pratikramaNanI chapAmaNInuM kAma kAMIka raste paDyuM, paNa tabiyata ThekANe na AvI. A rIte I. sa. 1920nA zrAvaNa-bhAdaravo be mAsa sakhata mAMdagImAM vItyA. kAma kAMIka raste paDyuM che to ahIM ja besI rahevAmAM sAra nathI ema dhArI meM AgrAthI gujarAta tarapha prayANa karyuM. harasa dUjhatA baMdha thAya to ja zakti sacavAya ema hovAthI mArI daSTi UMjhA tarapha gaI, UMjhAmAM vaidya nagInadAsa rahe che. teo vi. saM. 196 pachI mArA paricita hatA. temanI mArA pratye mamatA paNa khUba hatI. temanI davA kAragata nIvaDaze e AzAe mane UMjhAmAM utAryo. vaidyajIe potAne tyAM badhI ja sagavaDa karI ApI. mamatAthI davA zarU karI, paNa e davA ane harasa vacce kaurava-pAMDava hRddha zarU thayuM hoya tevAM lakSaNo dekhAyAM. jema jema davA karI tema tema lohI aTakavAne badale vadhAre paDe. vaidyajI davAo badalyuM jAya ne mane kahe ke jarAya hiMmata hArazo nahi. huM maTADaze ja rahevAno chuM ne jyAre harasa maTaze tyAre ja tamane javA daIza. 19 divasanI temanI tapasyA pachI paNa mane kAMI sudhAro na dekhAyo tyAre tyAMthI javAnuM ja meM durasta dhAryuM. UMjhAmAM rahyo te daramyAna pUnAthI munizrI jinavijayanA uparAupara AgrahI patro AvatA ke tame pUnA AvI jAo to badhAM sArAM vAnAM thaze. te vakhate teo jaina sAdhunI maryAdAmAM hovAthI relavevihAra na karatA ne comAsuM paNa hatuM. tethI teo mane lakhatA ke huM to AvI zakato nathI, paNa tamane to relavenI labdhi (vibhUti yA siddhi prApta che tethI sekanDa klAsamAM paNa tame AvI jAo e ja sAruM che. huM eTalI paNa saphara karavA jeTalo zakta nathI rahyo e vastu teo dUra beThAM jANI zake tema na hatuM. tethI temano mitrAgraha cAlu rahe e svAbhAvika hatuM.

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bImArIne kAraNe yAtrAo * 187 svAthya mATe lImalIyAtrA atyAra lagI meM mArA harasa, nabaLAI ke bImArI viSe mArA kuTuMbamAM kazI ja khabara ApI na hatI. meM paradezamAM gayo tyArathI ja eka gAMTha vALelI ke tabiyata game teTalI lathaDe ke bagaDe toya te viSe kuTuMbIone na sUcavavuM. AnI pAchaLa mArI daSTi eTalI ja hatI ke, dUra hoIe tyAre tabiyata bagaDyAnA samAcArathI gharavALAo vadhAre paDatI ciMtAmAM paDe che ne AvavA-javAnI nakAmI dhamAla UbhI thAya che. tethI jyAM rahetA hoIe tyAM ja prApta thayela sthiti vairyapUrvaka sahI levI ne banatA ilAjo karavA. mArI A nIti lagabhaga 16 varSa thayAM ekasarakhI cAlu hatI. chatAM A vakhate mane ema lAgyuM ke have kuTuMbIone bImArInA samAcAra to na ApavA, paNa ghare ja cAlyA javuM. kadAca janmasthAnanAM havA-pANI vahAre Ave ne ThIka thaI jAya. A AzAthI huM lImalI bhaNI javA nIkaLyo. vaDhavANa kempamAM Utaryo te divase mArI sthiti kevI hatI te samajavA eka banAva TUMkuM. derAsaranI lAinamAM upAzraya nIcenI mArA kAkAnI dukAna upara huM dhotiyuM bAMdhavA Ubho thayo ne azaktithI bebhAna thaI paDI gayo. kAkAo, bhAIo, ne banevI je tyAM hatA te badhA AthI vismaya pAmyA. emane ema thayuM ke ATalI hada sudhI zarIra kathaLI gayA chatAM paNa amane koIne kazI jANa kema nahi karI. meM sabhAna thayA pachI mArI nIti viSenI samajUtI ApI, paNa temanuM samAdhAna thayeluM meM na joyuM. huM janmasthAna lImalImAM pahoMcyo. - Aso mAsa cAlato hato. divALI najIka hatI. mosama bahu madhyamasara ane suMdara hatI. lohI paDavuM cAlu ja hatuM. gharagaththu ilAjo karyo jato. cAlavAnI zakti rahI ja na hatI. khorAka nAmamAtra laI zakato te paNa lohI paDaze evA DarathI letAM saMkocato, paNa eka vicAra satata AvyA karato ke jaLAzaya, lIlAMchama khetaro ne jhADanI ghaTAonA sanidhAnamAM paDyo rahuM to sAruM. gharathI taLAva dUra nahi. te bharyuM hoya tyAre paNa teno eka eka khUNo dekhato tyArathI ja jANIto hato. pALa uparano khakhaDadhaja vaDa ne bIjAM pIpaLanAM jhADo e paNa najara sAme taratAM. enI nIce bahu ramelo ne e jhADo upara UMce sudhI caDavA aneka vAra niSphaLa prayatna paNa karI cUkelo. sAme najIkamAM ja kapAsa ne bAjarAnAM lIlAMchama khetaro mAIlo lagI patharAyelAM paDyAM hatAM, jemAM dekhato tyAre ja ekalo ne mitro sAthe seMkaDovAra page khUMdI vaLelo. A badhAM dRSTikALanAM dRzyo jema smRtipaTa upara tAjAM thayAM tema e dazyo bahu dUra paNa na hatAM tethI keme karI taLAvanI pALe pahoMcavuM, vaDa nIce besavuM ne e khetaro ne taLAvanI tarapha vArApharatI moDhuM pheravI vAyusevana karavuM e jhaMkhanA pragaTI. azakti chatAM tyAM

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188 * mAruM jIvanavRtta javuM to hatuM ja eTale e najIvA gALAmAM paNa be-pAMca visAmA karI tyAM savAre ne DhaLate bapore jato. kalAka-babbe kalAka besato AthI mane kAMIka ArAma maLato hoya tema lAgyuM. divALI AvI ne pasAra thaI gaI. divALIno jUno ane navo anubhava nAnI uMmarathI je dhanaterasane divase lApasI khAvA TevAyelo ne je divALInA divasomAM jalebI ane phAphaDA bIjI mIThAIo khAvAnI prathAno lAMbA vakhata sudhI anubhava karelo, jAtajAtanuM dArUkhAnuM vaDIlo pAsethI mAMgIne ke koIne meLavavAmAM ane phoDavAmAM jIvananI lahejata mAnelI, besatA varSe copaDApUjana vakhate vaDIlo copaDA pUje ne ame parANe ThAvakuM moDhuM rAkhI pUjA karAvanAra brAhmaNanA "parAnuM khamavata putravAnuM bhavatu svAhA jevA saMskRta zabdo zraddhA ne AdarapUrvaka sAMbhaLatA, aneka brAhmaNo sAthe dakSiNA levA AvatI vakhate zuddha-azuddha spaSTa-aspaSTa saMskRta zloka bolavA sAthe cAMdalo karI cokhA coDe tyAre kapALamAM kaMkunA thara upara thara caDyA chatAM emAM dhanyatA lAgatI ne ame bahu kALajIpUrvaka e saparamAnA divasomAM dareka prakAranAM maMgaLa sAcavavA tatpara rahetAM, rakhe AMkhamAMthI AMsu na paDe, rovAI na javAya, laDhavADa na thaI jAya tenuM dhyAna rAkhatA, ne divase game tyAMthI game teTalI moMghI coLAnI sIMgo meLavI tenuM zAka khAvAmAM navA varSanuM mAMgalika samajatA, te ja dhanaterasa, te ja divALI ne te ja besatA varSano divasa A vakhate mArI sAme juduM rUpa dhAraNa karI AvelA. eka to ghaNAM varSo thayAM A dezI prathAthI huM sAva judo paDI gayelo ne bIjuM e prathAnA badhA aMzo viSe huM mArI dRSTie sArAsArano kAMIka viveka karato paNa thaI gayelo. tema ja saMskRta ane tarkazAstrano ThIka ThIka sAtha hovAthI te brAhmaNatva Adi jAti viSenA janmasiddha khyAlomAM dharamULano phera paDavAthI huM kuTuMbanI, gAmanI tema ja samAjanI A badhI prathAone judI ja rIte nihALato hato. tahevAronA e divasomAM saune je miSTAnna maLatuM ne chokarAone tema ja vasavAyAone je dArUkhAnuM apAtuM te mane yogya lAgatuM, paNa maMgaLa tema ja zakanane nAme je je vidhio cAlatI te mane sAva jaDatApoSaka lAgI. vyApArIo lakSmInI lIlAlaheranI AzAthI brAhmaNo pAse pUjA karAvatA ne brAhmaNo dakSiNAnI AzAthI emane AzIrvAda ApatA ne jANe emanI AjJAthI ja lakSmI vANiyAonA gharamAM vAsa kare evo DoLa karatA. levaDa - devaDa ke bIje prasaMge pAInI paNa chUTa na ApanAra agara brAhmaNatvano mobho na samajanAra vANiyo A vakhate janoI paheranArane aga-bagaDe saMskRtamAM AzIrvAda ApanAra darekane bAhmaNa samajI kAMIka paNa dakSiNA Ape e joI mane bahu kautuka thatuM. bhAIo sAthe temanI IcchAne mAna ApavA pUjA vakhate huM beThelo. je mukhya be

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bImArIne kAraNe yAtrAo - 189 be-cAra brAhmaNo pUjA karAvatA teo have mane vizeSa jANatA. kadAca tethI emane potAnA saMskRta uccAra ne jJAna viSe kAMIka saMkoca paNa Avato haze. chatAM meM to emanuM koI paNa jAtanuM ajJAna khulluM na paDe ne emane zaramAvuM na paDe enI badhI kALajI sevelI. chatAM mArI sAthe sahacArI tarIke yu.pI.no kAnyakubja brAhmaNa hato te lakSmInArAyaNe mane pAchaLathI kahyuM ke, paMDitajI ! A badhA nAnAmoTA brAhmaNo AzIrvAda ApI dakSiNA to laI gayA, paNa emAMthI koI eka zabda paNa zuddha bolatuM na hatuM. DaoN. amarazIgano saMga ane jAtivAdano tyAga meM enuM eka yA bIjI rIte samAdhAna to karyuM, paNa mAruM mana jAtivAda temaja AzAbaddha thaI AzIrvAda levA-devAnI prathA viruddha ugra baMDa karI rahyuM hatuM. mArA bhAIo ne vaDIloe jyAre mArA e baMDa viSe thoDuMka jANyuM tyAre teo to sAva DarI gayA. mane kahevA lAgyA ke tame kaho cho te vAta to ThIka che, paNa te viSe kazuM bolatA nahi. amAruM jema cAle che temaja cAlavA do. gora mahArAja ke bAvA atIta ke sAdhu-saMnyAsIne nArAja karIe to kyAreka emano zApa lAge. lagabhaga 20 varSa pahelAMnI ne te vakhatanI mArI manodazA vacce AkAza-pAtALa jeTaluM aMtara mane spaSTapaNe bhAsatuM, paNa thoDI vAra mATe kuTuMba ke samAjamAM AvIne besavuM hoya tyAre emanA khyAlomAM parivartana karAvI nAMkhavAnI AMdhaLI himmata mArAmAM na hatI. tethI parvonAM badhAM dRzyone taTasthabhAve joI mana mAtra tenI samAlocanA karI saMtuSTa thatuM. gharagaththu keTalAka upacArothI, havApANInA parivartanathI ne vizeSe karI ArAmathI kAMIka tabiyatamAM sudhAro anubhavato hato. daramyAna eka DaoNkTara vahAre AvyA. vaDhavANavALA DaoN, amarazI, je te vakhate nokarImAMthI nivRtta thaI mAtra khAnagI davAkhAnuM calAvatA te lImalI AvyA ne temaNe mane potAne tyAM vaDhavANa AvI rahevA ne potAno ilAja karavA bhArapUrvaka kahyuM. mane paNa e vAta gamI. ema to e DaoNkTara mArA moTAbhAInA nAnapaNathI paricita ne mitra jevA hatA, paNa emanI sAthe mAro to saMbaMdha judI ja rIte vikaselo. eka vAra huM pUnA hato tyAre DaoNkTara aNadhArI rIte amArA vAsasthAne AvI rahelA. meM emanI ThIka ThIka sarabharA karelI ne ame keTalAka mitro sAthe kArlAnI budgha-guphA jovA sAthe gayelA. eTaluM ja nahi, paNa taLegAMvamAM zrIyuta bijApurakara dvArA cAlatA nUtana samartha vidyAlaya temaja tilaka dvArA yojAyela paisA phaMDa uparathI cAlatuM kAcanuM kArakhAnuM paNa jovA gayelA. amane vadhAre nikaTa ANanAra vastu to A sAtha karatAM kAMIka bIjI ja hatI. eka divase pUnA zahe2mAM jainonuM

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1(c) * mAruM jIvanavRtta saMghabhojana hatuM. badhA vidyArthIo sAthe huM tyAM javAno hato. meM DaoNkTarane sAthe AvavA kahyuM to temaNe javAbamAM jaNAvyuM ke eka to huM jena nathI ne bIjuM huM jAte darajI chuM. meM kahyuM. tethI zuM thayuM ? tame mArA kahevAthI cAlo. chevaTe teo mArA Agrahane vaza thaI kAMIka sAthe AvyA, paNa jyAre bhojana vakhate temaNe kazo ja AMtaro na joyo ne mane potAnI sAthe beThelo joyo tyAre temano mAtra saMkoca ja na sarI gayo, paNa temane Azcarya sudhdhAM thayuM. sAmAnya dhAraNA evI hoya che ke paMDito, khAsa karI kAzImAM bhaNelA paMDito vadhAre jAtivAdI ane kaTTara hoya che tethI DaoNkTarane mAro vyavahAra joI navAI lAge to emAM kAMI navAI jevuM na hatuM. A vakhate lImalImAM AvyA tyAre paNa eka ramUjI prasaMga banyo. jamavAno vakhata thayo. pATalA naMkhAyA, meM kahyuM. huM ane DokTara pAse pAse besIzuM. gharavALA badhA vismaya pAmyA. emane thayuM ke, DaoNkTara to darajI che. kAMIka to cheTe besavuM joIe. DaoNkTarane potAne paNa ema ja besavAnuM pasaMda hatuM. gharavALA koIne mArA jAtiviSayaka khyAlo ke khAnapAnanA vyavahAro viSe vizeSa jANavAnI taka kyAreya maLI ja na hatI, paNa jyAre huM ane DokTara sAva pAse pAse beThA tyAre te divase amArA gharamAM UMca-nIcano bhAva ke najIka dUra besI jamavA - jamADavAno bhAva sAva lopa pAmI gayo. huM dhAruM chuM, ATalI badhI chUTa mArA gharamAM pahelI ja vAra anubhavamAM AvI. haze, paNa sau ethI rAjI thayA. meM pahelethI ja kaheluM ke, tame badhA sAme beso ne huM temaja DaoNkTara baMne bIjI bAju sAthe besIzuM. mane judo besavAmAM vadhAre AnaMda ane moTAI lAge che, paNa bhAIo vagere koI na hatA durAgrahI ke na hatA avivekI. jAtibhedano temano khoTo khyAla A vakhate nabaLo paDyo. muni jinavijayajInI relayAtrA ane paM. becaradAsanI mulAkAta huM savAre mArI dukAnanA oTale cAkaLA upara beTho hato tyAM aNadhArI rIte eka vyakti AvI caDI. mane pUchyuM kema che paMDitajI! meM ThIka che ema javAba to Apyo, paNa svara uparathI tene oLakhI zakyo nahi. ane e to kalpanAmAM kyAMthI hoya ke, kuzaLa pUchanAra vyakti zrI jinavijayajI haze? teo pUnAmAM hatA ne relavevihAra karatA nahi. temaja jaina sAdhunI maryAdAmAM rahetA eTale A comAsAnA kALa daramyAna pUnAthI te ahIM AvI pahoMce e to mArI kalpanAmAM Ave tema na hatuM. mane Abho thayelo joI sAthe Avela bIjI vyaktie pUchyuM ke, tame emane na oLakhyA ke zuM? huM goTA vALuM te pahelAM te bIjI vyaktie sphoTa karyo ke e to mahArAja jinavijayajI che ne huM chuM becaradAsa. A baMne jaNa pUnAthI amadAvAda gAMdhIjInA AzramamAM AvelA ne mArI mAMdagInA samAcAra jANyA hovAthI tyAMthI

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bImArIne kAraNe yAtrAo * 191 lImalI AvyA kema ke tyAM rASTriya bhAvanAnI bharatIne kAraNe purAtattva viSayaka rASTriya saMsthA sthApavAno vicAra zarU thayelo ne temAM zrI jinavijayajIne joDavA evo paNa vicAra mitrone thayelo. munijI ne mAro saMbaMdha bahu pahelethI zarU thayelo ne te vadhAre nikaTatAmAM pariNAma pAmelo. eTale teo mArI tabiyata jovA kheMcAIne Ave e sahaja hatuM. mArA AnaMda ne vismayano pAra na rahyo. khUba nirAMte beThA. badhI ghaTanA viSe vAto sAMbhaLI. A vakhate DaoNkTara amarazI paNa tyAM ja hatA. chevaTe munijIe kahyuM ke tame sAjA thAo ke tarata ja amadAvAda AvI jAo. pachI vadhAre vicArIzuM. bIje divase teo ane DokTara badhA ja cAlyA gayA.

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34. vaDhavANamAM aspRzyatAnivAraNano prayoga ane kAzImAM nivAsa vaDhavANamAM Do. amarazIne tyAM huM paNa pAchaLathI vaDhavANa khAMDIpoLa bahAra Avela DokTaranA makAnamAM jaI Utaryo ne rahyo. davA to cAlatI ja, paNa DaoNkTara khAnapAna ane bIjI ghaNI bAbatamAM mArA viSe vizeSa dhyAna ApatA. temanI putrI gaMgA rasoI karatI. te ghaNI vAra zIro khavaDAvatI. ne puSkaLa dUdha pIvA Agraha karatI. huM khetaromAM ne jhADIomAM dUra dUra pharato. AthI kAMIka zakti AvI. vaDhavANamAM mArAM aneka nikaTanAM sagAM-snehIo. bahena paNa tyAM ja. badhAMne vismaya eka ja hato ke huM darajI DokTarane tyAM Utaryo chuM ne temane rasoDe temanI sAthe jamuM chuM. mitro ane sagAMoe eka divasa kahyuM ke tame amAre tyAM kema nathI UtaryA? meM ekAMta ne bIjI sagavaDane lIdhe DaoNkTarane tyAM rahevAnuM pasaMda karyuM che e jaNAvavA sAthe e paNa kahI dIdhuM ke mane koI nAta-jAta naDatI nathI. mArI vAtathI badhAne duHkha to thayuM haze, paNa koIthI kazuM bolavAnI hiMmata cAlI nahi. eka to huM taddana beparavA ne bIjuM badhAMone e DokTaranI bahu garaja. eTale DaoNkTarane na game evuM bolavAnI koI hiMmata karI zake tema na hatuM. vadhArAmAM eka divasa vadhAre AghAtakAraka eka ghaTanA banI. DaoNkTara pAse eka DheDa davA levA Avyo. e jamAnAmAM aspRzyatAnAM mULa atyAra karatAM paNa ghaNAM vadhAre UMDAM hatAM. koI potAnA gharamAM DheDane pesavA de ke AvavAnuM kahe e to Abha phATyA barAbara hatuM ne meM DokTarane kahyuM, DheDane aMdara bolAvo, tapAso ne davA Apo. DaoNkTara aspRzyatAmAM bilakula mAnatA nahi. kahyA chatAM bIkane lIdhe DheDa kemeya karI davAkhAnAmAM dAkhala na thAya. meM kahyuM to pachI enI davA na ja karo. chevaTe DheDa makAnamAM dAkhala thayo, ne davA lIdhI, paNa bIjA tyAM beThelA savarNAbhimAnI hinduo manamAM ne manamAM UkaLI gayA haze ema mane lAgyuM. A vAta zaheramAM prasarI. mArAM seMkaDo sagAMsnehIone mArA vicAra ke vyavahAranI to lagabhaga 20 varSa thayAM kazI khabara ja na hatI, paNa ekAeka dhaDAko thayo. koInI jarAya hiMmata mAro virodha karavAnI to

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vaDhavANamAM aspRzyatAnivAraNano prayoga ane kAzImAM nivAsa * 1lsa hatI ja nahi. Ama chatAM bahena banevI ne bIjAM sagAMoe mane khUba vahAlathI jamavA notaryo, paNa huM A vakhate kyAMya na gayo. dAdabhA kuTuMbanA cunIbhAI daramyAna eka mANasa evo AvI caDyo ke jenuM nimaMtraNa huM TaLI zakyo nahi. meM nahi dhAreluM ke e dAdAbhA kuTuMbano mANasa ATalo udAra kadI hoI zake! chatAM meM ajAyabI vacce joyuM ke, bhAI cunIlAla tribhuvana sAva sudhAraka che. gAMdhIjInA vicAra comera paDagho pADI rahyA hatA. svargavAsI phUlacaMdabhAIe potAnI tapasyA vaDhavANane goMdare zarU karI hatI. eno cepa cunIbhAImAM Utarelo. cunIbhAI garbhazrImanta kharA, paNa jarAya keLavaNI pAmela nahi. chatAM temane aspRzyatA DaMkhatI. jyAre temaNe mArA DheDane apanAvavAnA vicAra jAgyA tyAre mane kahyuM ke tame mAre tyAM to cAlo ja, huM AvI spRzyAspRzyatA nathI mAnato. meM temanuM Atithya svIkAryuM. paNa A vakhate bahena, phaI ke bhatrIjI vagere koI najIkanAM sagAMne tyAM khAsa karI jamavA ke dUdha pIvAya na gayo. Do. amarazInI sevAbhAvanA DokTara vAnaprastha thayelA. pAse paisA paNa kharA. rASTriya bhAvanA ne keLavaNInI bhAvanA temane sparzelI. temano moTo putra vaDhavANa kempamAM DaoNkTarIno dhaMdho kare che. te vakhate nAno putra hajI bhaNato. DaoNkTaranI icchA evI hatI ke temanuM vaDhavANanuM makAna sevAkAryamAM vaparAya. te uparAMta temaNe te vakhate najIkamAM vasAvavAmAM AvanAra, jorAvaranagaramAM paDatara jamIna lIdhelI, emanI dRSTi e hatI ke vaDhavANamAM sevAarthe davAkhAnuM cAlu rAkhavuM ne A navA vasanAra jorAvaranagaramAM makAna baMdhAvI tyAM bAkIno vakhata zAntimAM gALavo. DaoNkTara satsaMgapriya hatA. temaNe munizrI jinavijayajIne potAno jorAvaranagaravALo ploTa batAvI kaheluM ke tame ahIM Avo. huM makAna baMdhAvIza ne kharco badho calAvIza. mano to emaNe haMmezAM tyAM ja AvI rahevA ne potAnI manapasaMda pravRtti cAlu rAkhavA kahyuM. ghaNuM karI e ploTa bhogAvAthI bahu dUra na hoI AkarSaka paNa haze, paraMtu mAruM mana to bIje ja baMdhAyeluM hatuM. kAMI svastha thAuM to jaladI pAcho pharI adhUrAM rahelAM ne bIjAne sopelAM kAmo pUrAM karuM ne zuM zuM thayuM ne kevuM thayuM e tapAsuM evI eka ja dhUna hatI. kAMIka maLyuM na maLyuM ne manano ghoDo UpaDyo. vauThAnA meLAmAM huM I. sa. 1920 vi. saM. 1977nA kArtika mAsanI AThama lagabhaga amadAvAda mATe UpaDyo. tyAM munizrI jinavijayajI hatA. gAMdhIjIe zarU karela mahAna rASTriya

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194 - mAruM jIvanavRtta AMdolanonAM mojAM comera UchaLatAM ane game tene jhapATAmAM letAM meM joyAM. kocaraba - pAlaDI tarapha ghaNuM karI kubera khoDIdAsanA baMgalAmAM huM munijI pAse Utaryo. temanI ane bIjA mitronI icchA evI hatI ke, huM amadAvAda ja rokAI jAuM, paNa huM mArAM AgrAmAM paDelAM adhUrAM kAmane pUrAM karavAnI dhUnamAM hato ke te vakhate meM tyAM rahevuM na yogya dhAryuM, na pasaMda karyuM. zrIyuta naMdalAla maNilAla zAha vageree chevaTe kahyuM ke tame vauThAnA meLAmAM cAlo. tyAM lAkho AdamI UbharAya che. ame badhA javAnA chIe ne sUtarane tAMtaNe svarAjyanI vAta lokone samajAvavAnA chIe. huM munijI sAthe ja vauThA gayo. vahaThA dhoLakAthI pAMceka gAu dUra AveluM che. tyAM sAbaramatI ane bIjI nadIono saMgama thAya che. moTAM vistRta medAno che. A prAkRtika sauMdaryane lIdhe kyAreka kArtika pUrNimAnA meLAnI yojanA zarU thaI haze. A vakhate lAkhogame mAnavamedanI UbharAtI hatI. joke dara sAla meLo to khUba jAme ja che. A sAla svarAjanI hilacAla, purajozamAM hovAthI AvanArane navuM ja AkarSaNa UbhuM hatuM. svarAjyavAdIone paNa A meLAmAM kArya karavAnI moTI ane sArI taka hatI. meLAmAM jugAra, madyapAna ane anAcAra phATI nIkaLe che tethI e badIne zamAvavAnI svarAjyavAdIo mATe sArI taka hatI. TheraThera taMbU taNAyelA. huM paNa eka taMbUmAM ja rahelo. zrIyuta naMdalAla ane sva. mohanalAla paMDyA vageree khAvApIvAnI pUrI jogavAI karI hatI. jagyAe jagyAe bhASaNo thatAM ne sAMbhaLavA mATe loko ToLe vaLatA. kArtika pUrNimA ane sAva khullAM medAno eTale TADhano camakAro hato. huM sakhata mAMdagImAMthI kemeya karI Ubho thayelo. bahu ochuM khAI zakato chatAM vauThAnAM medAnonI sUkI ane khuzanumAM havAe kAMI evI ajaba asara karI ke, mArI bhUkha huM na kahyuM te rIte UghaDI. e be divasomAM mane bahu baLa maLyuM. zrIyuta mohanalAla paMDacAnA AgrahathI meM paNa eka rAte loko samakSa madyapAnanI bUrAI viSe kAMIka kaheluM. navA Arogya lAbhathI baLa maLatAM ja AgrA javAno mAro saMkalpa vadhAre dRDha thayo. huM amadAvAda pAcho pharI tarata ja mitronA Azcarya vacce AgrA mATe UpaDI gayo. punaH AgrA jaI kAzImAM sthiratA AgrA AvI meM mArI pAchaLa keTaluM kAma thayuM che e tapAsyuM. bhAmaMDaLadeva soMpeluM kAma to barAbara karatA ja, paNa presanI ane temanI gati bahu dhIrI hatI. jyAre kharcanA bojanI gati ekadhArI vadhye ja jatI hatI. gujarAte, rASTriya AMdolanoe, ane mitroe mAruM dhyAna kheMcyuM ja hatuM. tethI A kAmanI A pipIlikA - gati mane svastha besavA de tema hatuM ja nahi. meM kyAMka bIje jaI jhaDapathI kAma Ape evA presanI zodhano nirNaya karyo. kAnapura Avyo. tyAM bAbu saMtokacaMdajInuM prasiddha jaina maMdira paNa joyuM hatuM. kAnapuranA aneka presomAM pharI vaLyo, paNa kyAMyathI saMtoSaprada javAba na maLyo;

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vaDhavANamAM aspRzyatAnivAraNano prayoga ane kAzImAM nivAsa * 195 ne mana to jaladI kAma patAvavAnI dhUnamAM hatuM. eTale saheja ja te pUrvaparicita kAzI tarapha doDyuM. kAzI jaI lakSmInArAyaNa presamAM chapAvavAnuM nakkI karyuM. utAro karyo bhadainImAM jene ghATa upara, jyAM huM pahelAM ghaNAM varSo rahelo. presa traNeka mAIla dUra kharuM, paNa chUTathI kharca karI kAma vadhAre pramANamAM thAya evI yojanA karI. lakSmInArAyaNa to mAro sAthI hato ja, paNa vadhArAmAM meM bhoLAnAtha brAhmaNane rokyo ane tenAthI paNa pUrNapaNe kAma na sadhAtuM joI meM mArA bhatrIjA harajIvanane bolAvyo. te mArI kAmanI paddhatithI ThIka ThIka jANIto hato; kema ke nAnI uMmarathI ja mArI sAthe rahelo ne kAzIthI sArI rIte paricita hato. jyAre mane lAgyuM ke hajI paNa mANasanI jarUra che, tyAre AgrAthI bhAmaMDaLadevane bolAvI lIdhA. presamAM javuM - AvavuM, prUpho jovAM, lakhANa tapAsI javuM vagere kAmo to bhAmaMDaLa ane harajIvana vacce vaheMcI dIdhAM. teone saMdeha thAya tyAM ja ane tyAre ja teo mane pUche, paNa huM to mArI vAcana, ciMtana ane lekhananI pravRttimAM ja mukhyapaNe DUbI gayo hato ema yAda che. cothA karmagranthanI prastAvanAnuM lekhana cothA hindI karmagranthanI vizALa ane gaMbhIra adhyayana mananapUrvaka prastAvanA lakhavAno manoratha hato tethI ene lagatuM sAhitya vAMcavuM ne kAMIka lakhAvavuM emAM ja mukhyapaNe mAro samaya vyatIta thato. A mArA kAmamAM bhoLAnAtha ja rokAyelo. Ama gADI to cAlI, paNa ziyALo AgaLa vadhato gayo ne kAzIe kAMIka kAzmIranuM rUpa levA mAMDyuM. mane harasa to hatAM ja, e pAchA UbaLyA. aneka jAtanuM tANa anubhavAtAM ene kAMIka haLavuM karavAnI dRSTie ame amAro paDAva presanI najIka karavAno nirNaya karyo. huM sauthI pahelAM kAzI Avyo te vakhate jyAM Utarelo e ja sUtaTolA mahollAmAM bAbu dhanapatasiMhajInI dharmazALAmAM DerA nAkhyA. presamAM cotho karmagrantha chapAto hato ne paMcapratikramaNano bAkIno bhAga AgrAmAM chapAto hato, tenAM paNa prapho AvatAM. A rIte beeka mAsa gADuM cAlyuM haze tyAM eka navA samAcAra AvyA.

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35. sametazikharanI yAtrA karI kalakattAmAM zrI jinavijayajInuM AmaMtraNa munizrI jinavijayajIno pUnAthI patra Avyo ke teo pUnAnA eka saMgha sAthe sametazikhara Ave che. mane temaNe lakhyuM ke, tame paNa sametazikhara Avo ne mane maLo kemake huM A bAju pahelavahelo ja pravAsa karuM chuM ityAdi. presanA kAmanI ne te nimitte thatA moTA kharcanI ciMtAno bojo mana upara hato, paNa tethIye vadhAre bojo to prAraMbhela prastAvanAnA lakhANamAM bhaMga paDavAno hato. TADha kahe, mAruM kAma ne harasa kahe, mAruM kAma. zarIra sAva naMkhAI gayeluM, paNa munijI sAtheno mAro saMbaMdha evo ke huM e kazAnI paravA karyA sivAya sametazikhara mATe UpaDI gayo. vezanI carcA mane yAda che ke te vakhate pUrva dezanI ane khAsa karI pahADonI ThaMDIthI bacavA mATe ane pravAsanI sagavaDa mATe eka mitranI salAhathI meM teno ja pAyajAmo lIdho ane jiMdagImAM pahelI vAra paheryo. pAyajAmAne paherI TrenanI ane IsarI sTezanathI pArzvanAthahila sudhInI belagADI temaja pagapALA musApharI karyA pachI temaja pAyajAmo, coraNI ke pATalUnanA pozAka sAthe dhotiyAnA pozAkanI sarakhAmaNI karatAM mane cokkasa lAgyuM che ke dhotiyuM e to mAtra dukAna upara besI nANAMno ke tevo vahIvaTa karanAra vANiyAzAhI sAthe bhale meLa khAya. bAkI bIjI gatizIla pravRttio sAthe eno koI meLa nathI. ghaNI vAra te UlaTuM baMdhanakAraka paNa nIvaDe che. joke e musApharI pachI mAre pAyajAmo paheravAnA be ja prasaMgo AvyA che. eka to 1931nA DisembaramAM amadAvAdathI zAMtiniketana gayo tyAre rastAmAM paheravAno ane bIjo prasaMga 1938nA jUnamAM epenDIsAITisanuM oparezana karAvyuM tyAre muMbaI harakizanadAsa haoNspiTalamAM sAMpaDelo. A be prasaMgo sivAya pAchaLathI mAtra dhotiyuM ja paheravAnuM cAlu rahyuM che. chatAM dhotiyAnA paheravezanI nirarthaktA nahi to alyopayogitAnI bAbatamAM mane leza paNa saMdeha nathI. huM e paNa mAnato thayo chuM ke ghaNAMkharAM kAryo ane pravRttiomAM baheno mATe paNa paMjAbanI peThe leMgho ja vadhAre sagavaDakAraka siddha thaI zake. ghaNAkharA

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sammetazikharanI yAtrA karI kalakattAmAM 0 197 gujarAtI ane bIjA bhAIone kadAca ethI bahenonI sauMdaryahAni dekhAya che, paNa huM ema nathI mAnato. jAhera pravRtti ane sArvajanika kSetromAM bahenono jema jema praveza vadhato jaze ne doDAdoDa karavAnA prasaMgo prApta thatA jaze, tema tema leMgho ke tevA bIjA custa pozAkanI upayogitA vadhAre ne vadhAre samajAtI jaze. kAmanI sagavaDa uparAMta pAyajAmA ke leMghAnA pozAkanA kApaDanI karakasarano paNa lAbha che ja. ne sArvajanika dRSTie vicAra karatAM e lAbha jevotevo nathI. sammetazikharanI yAtrA huM IsarI sTezanathI pArzvanAthahila sudhI sAthe belagADI hovA chatAM moTe bhAge pagapALA ja gayo. jema jema e vanya pradezamAM cAlato tema tema tAjagI anubhavAtI. chevaTe taLeTI pahoMcyA pahelAM eka nAnI pahADI nadI AvI. tenI AsapAsa vAMsanAM ne bIjAM lIlAMchama jhADonI ghaTAmAM visAmo karavA beTho te vakhate anubhavelo kudaratI AnaMdollAsa Aje paNa vanya pradezonI ramaNIyatA anubhavavAnI utkaMThA utpanna kare che. harasajanya nabaLAIthI Ama to bhUkha lAgatI nahi ane khAdhuM pacatuM paNa nahi, paraMtu A pagapALAnI musApharI temaja khullAM medAnonI havAe rasAyaNathI paNa vadhAre sArI asara karI hoya ema mane lAgyuM. IsarI sTezana upara AvelI jaina dharmazALAmAMthI maLela buMdIno moTo lADavo e nAnakaDI nadIne kinAre mAtra samApta ja na thayo, paNa te pacI paNa gayo. A anubhava uparathI chevaTe huM evA nirNaya upara Avyo chuM ke ghaNAkharA rogo jema jIvana jIvavAnI anAvaDatathI thAya che tema ghaNA ane moTA rogo zaherI akudaratI jIvana jIvavAne lIdhe ja thAya che. jIvana jIvavAnI kaLA e badhI kaLAomAM mukhya che. e kaLAmAM je nipuNa na hoya te bIjI game te kaLAmAM pAragAmI hoya toya te nipuNatA rAkha upara lIMpaNa jevI che. kalakattAnI yAtrA huM taLeTInI dharmazALAmAM pahoMcyo tyAre saMgha sAthe munizrI jinavijayajI tyAM prathamathI ja pahoMcI gayelA meM joyA. saMgha ane munijIno kAryakrama to sammetazikhara upara yAtrA karavAno hato ja. huM ghaNAM varSo pahelAM u52thI badhI TekarIoe yAtrA karI cUkelo. A vakhate pAlakhImAM besavAnI vRtti na hatI ne pahADa upara cAlIne caDavA jeTalI zakti paNa na hatI. tethI nIce ja taLeTInI AsapAsa jhADIo vacce khaLabhaLa vahetAM jharaNAMo temaja kalarava karatAM paMkhIonA sumadhura vAtAvaraNamAM pharI zakAya teTaluM pharato ne navanavAM sapanAM racato. chevaTe be-traNa divasa pachI kalakattA UpaDayo. munijInI icchA hatI ke teo saMgha sAthe kalakattA Ave te pahelAM huM kalakattA jAuM to sAruM. AgrAvALA bAbu DAlacaMdajI tyAM hatA ja. mArA moTAbhAIno jyeSTha putra

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198 - mAruM jIvanavRtta vakhatacaMda ane bIjAM paNa mArAM sagAM-snehIo hatAM. huM kalakattA apara cittapura roDa upara Utaryo. kalakattAmAM bAbu badarIdAsajInuM kAmaya maMdira prasiddha che. tyAM paNa jaI Avyo. daramyAna pUnAvALo saMgha AvI pahoMcyo. kalakattAnA AgevAna jenonI eka sabhA goThavAyelI, temAM khAsa bhASaNa munizrI jinavijayajInuM thayeluM. temaNe potAnI lAkSaNika aitihAsika dRSTi rajU karatAM atyAre mAtra vyApArI koma tarIke prasiddha jaina samAjanA bhUtakALamAM je kSatriyocita aitihAsika parAkramo ItihAsanA pAne noMdhAyelAM che tenA keTalAka dAkhalAo ApyA te zrotAvargane bahu rucikara paNa siddha thayA. huM kAMIka zikSaNa viSe bolelo e ja yAda Ave che, paNa A vakhate mane mArA pUrvaparicita traNa sajjanono khAsa meLApa thayo ene lIdhe mArI kalakattAnI yAtrA niSphaLa nathI gaI ema mane lAgyuM. kalakattAmAM lAbhacaMdano bheTo ane tenI kathA paMjAbanA jAte zIkha ke jATa ane AryasamAjanA saMskAromAM Ucherala eka lAbhacaMda nAmanA juvAna hatA, je pahelAM kAzI yazovijayajI jaina pAThazALAmAM thoDuMka rahelA. zarIre khUba puSTa kasaratI, baLavAna ane sAhasI, temane e pAThazALAmAM rahenAra vijayadharmasUrIzvare agaDaMbagaDe samajAvI dIkSA levA samajAvyA. lAbhacaMda pote taddana samAjasudhAraka ane laukika vRttivALo hovA chatAM kAMIka vizvAsa ane navA pravAhamAM juvAnIvaza ochA vicAre vahI janAra paNa kharo. eTale te paNa dIkSAnI jALamAM phasAyo. kAzImAM dIkSA ApavA jatAM yazovijayajI pAThazALA badanAma thAya tema hatuM. je lokoe potAnAM bALakone pAThazALAmAM vizvAsapUrvaka bhaNavA mUkelAM teo jo ema jANe ke rakSaka vADa ja bhakSaka banI rahI che to teo potAnAM bALakone pAchAM bolAvI le ne pAThazALA paDI bhAMge; tethI pAThazALAnA taMtravAhaka munIzvare lAbhacaMdane gujarAtamAM mokalI dIdho ne tyAM ja godhAvImAM rahela potAnA eka ziSya dvArA muMDAvI paNa nAkhyo. have e mukta ane svataMtra prakRtino AryasamAjanA pracAraka ane utsAhI saMskAravALo paMjAbI malla jevo juvAna jaina sAdhunA sAMkaDA ane maryAdita temaja jaTila vartuLamAM jakaDAyo. jANe ke eka mukta paMkhI agara vanavihArI siMha pAMjarAmAM purAyo hoya. eNe amadAvAdamAM paNa upAzrayanuM sAdhujIvana anubhavyuM. ene lAgyuM ke huM kAzImAM rahI svataMtrapaNe adhyayana karato te to sAdhuavasthAmAM nathI ja thatuM, paNa vadhArAmAM aneka aneka jAtanAM nirarthaka baMdhano meM vagara vicAryuM svIkAryA che. enuM naitika jIvana taddana cokhuM, paNa ene sAMpradAyika saMkucitatA temaja kRtrima baMdhano na phAvyAM. teNe thoDAka mahinA keme karI vitAvyA, paNa chevaTe teNe e sAdhuvezanuM baMdhana phagAvI dIdhuM ne sIdho kAzImAM ja cAlyo Avyo. te sauthI pahelAM potAne dIkSAnI preraNA ApanAra

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sammetazikharanI yAtrA karI kalakattAmAM - 199 vijyadharmasUrIzvara pAse ja gayo. teNe temanuM ane bIjA sAdhuonuM valaNa taddana viruddha ane tiraskArapUrNa joyuM. potAnI preraNAthI potAnA ziSya tarIke dIkSA lenAra dIkSA choDI potAnI pAse ja rahe ne chUTathI jIvana jIve to bIjA sAdhuo ane vidyArthIo upara tenI asara sArI na thAya ane dIkSA eka boja ke baMdhana che evuM mAnasika vAtAvaraNa keLavAya evA bhayathI vijayadharmasUrIzvara agara bIjA munio tenA pratye Adara na batAve e svAbhAvika hatuM. ? svamAnI lAbhacaMda tyAM eka kSaNa paNa na thobhatAM mane, huM jyAM raheto hato tyAM bhaunImAM maLyo. meM Azcarya vacce joyuM ke jenI dIkSA hamaNAM ja chApA dvArA jANI che te ahIM kyAMthI ? tene moDhe badhI hakIkata sAMbhaLI ne samAdhAna thayuM. meM tene kahyuM ke tArA jevo mANasa dIkSA levA lalacAyo e jANyA chatAM mane zaMkA ja hatI ke tuM emAM TakI zakIza ke nahi. chevaTe enuM mana abhyAsaruci joyuM tyAre meM beeka zarate sAthe rahevA kahyuM. huM mithilA javAno chuM tyAM tAre sAthe rahevuM paDaze ne bIjuM e ke bIjA mANasanA abhAvamAM tAre mane saMbhALavAnI javAbadArI levI paDaze. te pUrA ziSyanA guNa ane utsAhathI sAthe cAlyo. Ano ati TUMko nirdeza huM pahelAM mArA mithilAmAMnA adhyayana prasaMge karI gayo chuM. A lAbhacaMda, atyAre kalakattAmAM eka jaina mitra maMDaLa taraphathI cAlatI pAThazALAmAM adhyApaka tarIke kAma karato, te ja mane maLyo. mArI pAse bhaNelo, rahelo, mArI kALajI ane bhaktipUrvaka paricaryA karelI ne mArA ja sUcanathI kalakattAmAM jaI sAruM pratiSThita sthAna meLaveluM. eTale mArA AgamanathI tene AnaMda thAya e svAbhAvika hatuM. teNe mane potAnI saMsthAmAM laI jaI badhI sukhaduHkhanI vAto kahI. saMsthA ne kalakattAmAM tene thayelA ane thatA anubhavo viSe paNa kahyuM. chevaTe mane pUchyuM ke A sthAna choDuM to tame kyAM rahevA sUcavo cho ? enI manovRtti have AryasamAja tarapha na hatI. jaina sAdhuveza svIkArI choDI devAthI tene rUDha jaino bahu apanAvI zake tema paNa na hatuM. e mukta manano chatAM kAMIka haThI svabhAvano paNa kharo. A badhuM joI meM tene tenA ja dezamAM eka sthAna sUcavyuM. ne te sthAna jAlaMdharamAM kesara RSi nAmanA yati pAse javAnuM. A yatine huM eka vAra jAlaMdharamAM maLelo. te mAtra vidyAvRtti ane vaidyaka paNa karatA. temane potAnuM svataMtra makAna hovA uparAMta kAMIka saMpatti paNa hatI. vidyAvRttivALA saccaritra uttarAdhikArInI temane jarU2 hatI. meM lAbhacaMdane kahyuM, mAro patra laI jA. thoDA divasa baMne sAthe raho. baMnene phAve to e sthAna sAruM che. tArI vidyAvRtti tyAM poSAze ne tAro vaidyakano zokha paNa pUro thaze. Aje e lAbhacaMda e ja yatijInA uttarAdhikArI tarIke jAlaMdharamAM rahe che. ne vaidyaka karavA uparAMta aneka

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20 * mAruM jIvanavRtta vidyArthIone pAse rAkhI bhaNAve paNa che. kalakattAmAM e lAbhacaMdane maLavAthI mane saMtoSa eTalA mATe thayo ke eka zaktisaMpanna vyakti mAtra sAdhuvezanA tyAgane kAraNe samAjamAMthI potAnuM sthAna sarvathA gumAvI besata tene badale teNe kalakattAmAM rahI vidyAmAM rahI sevAkAryamAM pragati sAdhI ne AtmavizvAsa prApta karyo. paMDita vIrabhadranI prakRtinuM nirUpaNa kalakattAmAM je bIjI vyakti maLyAnI noMdha karuM chuM te mANasajAta kevI rIte ajaba prakRti dharAve che e sUcavavA khAtara. A vyakti te paMDita vIrabhadra. mULe e yatiziSya. ghaNAM varSo pahelAM mane e pAlitANAmAM maLelA. meM emane kAzImAM emanI vidyAvRtti tRpta karavA te vakhate sUcaveluM. e kAzI yazovijayajI jaina pAThazALAmAM AvI rahelA ne saMskRta ThIka ThIka zIkhelA. vyAkaraNa ne nyAyanuM adhyayana kareluM. emanuM magaja evuM ekAMgI ke te je zIkhatA ke bhaNatA hoya te sivAya koI paNa pustakane ke bIjA viSayane sparze ja nahi. AsapAsa ke duniyAmAM zuM bane che tenI temane leza paNa paravA nahi. temane mana chApuM, ItihAsa, samAja ke rAjakAraNa e badhuM temanA priya viSaya saMskRtamAM lakhAyela granthomAM ja. mAtra bhaNavAmAM ja te ekAMgI ema nahi, paNa maLavAhaLavA ane vyavahAramAM paNa te sAva ekAMgI. koI patra lakhe to tene kadI te javAba Ape ja nahi. chatAM temane potAne jarUra lAge to patrathI javAba na ApatAM jAte relave musApharI karIne paNa maLe. khAvApIvAmAM eTalA ekAMgI ke temanI jIvanadevatA ja suMdara bhojana ane puSTa rasoI. vIrabhadranI prakRtine AkarSavAmAM be ja cAvIe saphaLa thaI zake ema mane lAgyuM che. eka to emane bhaNavA - bhaNAvavAnI pUrI taka ApavI ane bIjI khAvApIvAnI suMdaramAM suMdara sagavaDa ApavI. jo emane bhaNAvanAra thAkI lotha thAya toya vIrabhadra bhaNavAmAM kaMTALe nahi. bhaNanAra maLe ne te evA hoya ke rAta ke divasa gaNyA vinA temanI pAse vAMcyA kare to paNa te kadI na kaMTALe. bhaNanAra vastu samaje ja nahi agara bhaNanArane e bhaNavAthI lAbha thAya che ke nahi eno vicAra vIrabhadrane karavAno hoto ja nathI. emano vicAra mAtra eTalo ja ke, potAnA ISTa viSayo ne iSTa pustako zIkhanAra ke vAMcanAra samajIne ke vagara samaje emanI pAse vAMcyA kare to emane e viSayo ne e pustakonI AvRtti thayA kare. emano priya viSaya eTale saMskRtamAM lakhAyela granthomAM pratipAdita thayela vyAkaraNa ane darzana. e ja viSayo vadhAre sArI rIte ane vadhAre mAhitI pUrI pADe evI rIte saMskRta sivAya bIjI koI paNa bhASAmAM (tyAM sudhI ke mAtRbhASA gujarAtI ke rASTrabhASA hindImAM paNa) lakhAyela ApatuM hoya toya te tarapha kadI vIrabhadra DhaLe nahi. emanI AkhI jIvanacaryAnuM kendrabindu saMskRtamAM lakhAyela grantho vaMcAvavA ne vAMcavA te ja. emane bhojanano rasa eTalo

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sammetazikharanI yAtrA karI kalakattAmAM 7 201 badho ke AmaMtraNa ApanAra ekAda vastu paNa managamatI pIrasavI bhUlI jAya ke taiyA2 na kare to kahe ja ke, tame notaryo paNa khavarAvatAMya jANatA nathI. amuka cIja pIrasavI kema bhUlI gayA ? amuka cIja kema na banAvI ? ityAdi. jo tame emane emanI prakRti jANI sarasatama bhojana karAvo ne vakhatovakhata bolAvo to e tamAro dAsAnudAsa thaIne rahe, eTaluM ja nahi, paNa saraLabhAve tamArA guNa ja jue. alabatta, ATaluM chatAM emanuM mana rAkhavA kALajI sevanAre e mATe paNa taiyAra rahevuM joIe ke jo tenAthI eka vAra paNa vIrabhadranI prakRti nahi sacavAya to te tenuM karyuM kAravyuM badhuM ja bhUlI sAme pATale jaIne besaze. A vIrabhadra te vakhate kalakattAmAM paM. haragoviMdadAsanA sahAyaka tarIke prAkRta zabdakozanuM kAma paNa karatA. meM emane kalakattAmAM rahe che to bIjuM keTaluMka navuM zIkhavA sUcavyuM, paNa emane to eno kAMI sparza ja na thayo. ekAda sthaLe sAruM kAma ane bahu vadhAre vetana maLavA uparAMta AgaLa vikAsane paNa avakAza hoya ne te sthAna potAnI paDozamAM ja hoya ane sulabha paNa hoya chatAM vIrabhadra yakSa kadI evI paravA na kare, na koIne maLe, na koInI sAthe bhaLe, ApameLe koI emane pakaDe ne ene tyAM badhuM gamatuM maLI jAya to pachI tyAM ja dhAmA nAMkhe. vIrabhadranI prakRti joI mane ghaNI vAra ema thayuM che ke mAnavaprakRtinA ajAyaba gharamAM AvI bhAta bhAtanI vastuo na hota to jagatamAM rasa kevI rIte raheta ? judI prakRtivALAne bhale e na game chatAM evI TAipo' paNa rasano viSaya ja che. paMDita haragoviMdadAsa ane temanA pUrvagraho kalakattAmAM maLanAra trIjI vyakti paMDita haragoviMdadAsa. e mArA kAzI yazovijayajI jaina pAThazALAnA jUnA thoDA vakhata pUratA sAthI ane mArI pAse thoDuMka zIkhela paNa kharA. uMmare mArAthI nAnA, buddhithI paTu ane kAryamAM kuzaLa. tyAre teo kalakattA yunivarsiTImAM prAkRtanA adhyApaka tarIke kAma karatA ne sAthe sAthe potAnA siddha pAga masaLavo nAmanA prAkRta kozanI taiyArI paNa karatA. huM yazovijayajI jaina pAThazALAthI chUTo paDyo tyAra bAda temane maLelo nahi. temane paNa mArA viSe aneka pUrvagraho baMdhAyelA te huM jANato. teo viEdharmasUrIzvara sAthe ja rahevA ne temanA ja samarthaka. huM temanAthI judo paDyo ne rahyo, eTale svAbhAvika rIte ja haragoviMdadAsa mane maLavAnuM pasaMda na kare chatAM vAtacIta uparathI huM eTaluM samajI zakyo ke temane mArI sAthe maLavA ke bhaLavAmAM bahu rasa nathI. haragoviMdadAsa ekAda be varSa pahelAM potAnA vatana gujarAtamAM jatAM mane AgrA maLelA. teo te vakhate avivAhita hatA. meM temane temanAM lagna viSe pUcheluM. judA paDyA pachI amArI vacce A ja saMbaMdhano prasaMga Avelo. kalakattAmAM maLyo tyAre ghaNuM karI teonuM lagna

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202 mAruM jIvanavRtta thaI gayuM hatuM. mArI nikhAlasa vRtti ane maitrIvRttine temanA pUrvagrahe oLakhavA na dIdhI ema mane lAgyuM. tyAre meM joyuM ke ghaNI vAra ekabIjAne cAhatA ane pasaMda karatA mANaso vacce paNa pUrvagraho kevI rIte aMtarAyanuM kAma karyA kare che temaja mANaso paNa kevA nirbaLa svabhAvanA ke pharI badalAyelA saMyogomAM potAnA pUrvagrahonI yogyAyogyatA viSe kazo vicAra karavAnI tasdI paNa na le ane mAnavajIvananA surabhimaya udyAnamAM Ugela potAnA jIvanapuSpanI ja sugaMdha pUrNapaNe na laI zake. temanA pUrvagrahane spaSTa karavA temanI sAthenA eka-be prasaMga bIjA paNa noMdhuM chuM. ghaNuM karI 1924nA unALAmAM huM kalakattA hato. te prasaMge ajImagaMja murzidAbAda) javAnuM banyuM. aNadhArI rIte haragoviMdadAsa tyAM maLI gayA. huM jiyAgaMja bahAra AvelA bAbu chatrapatisiMhajInA vizALa ane bhavya bagIcAmAM maMdire jato hato. teo paNa potAnI patnI sAthe tyAM ja jatA hatA. meM temane saMkocamukta karavA prathama bolAvyA. teoe javAba to Apyo, paNa temAM rukSatAno raNakAra hato. meM joyuM ke temanuM dila hajI ArTsa thayuM nathI. tyAra bAda traNeka varSe huM pharI kalakattAmAM gayela. meM sAMbhaLyuM ke haragoviMdadAsanI tabiyata sArI nathI. temane tyAM maLavA ne tabiyata viSe pUchavA gayo. teo maLyA kharA, paNa meM apekSita ullAsa na joyo. AthI mane lAgyuM ke teo pote bahu maLavAhaLavA icchatA nathI. - I. sa. 1924 ne 27 vacce eka evI ghaTanA banI gayelI ke tenI asara temanA mana upara bhUMsAI na hoya ema lAgyuM. meM hindI paMcapratikramaNa bAbu bahAdurasiMhajI siMdhInI icchAthI taiyAra kareluM ne AgrAthI prasiddha thayeluM. tenI lokapriyatA bahu jAmelI. meM hindI paMcapratikramaNa taiyAra kareluM tyAre prastAvanAmAM te viSaya paratve tulanAtmaka abhyAsa karelo. AcAramAM koIpaNa eka ja paraMparAne anukULa thaI paDe te mATe meM tapAgacchAnusAra vidhi kendrasthAne rAkhela ane anyAnya gacchonI vidhio aMtamAM pheraphAra sAthe sUcavela. paMcapratikramaNanI lokapriyatA joI tapAgacchanA pratispardhI kharatara gacchanA keTalAka anuyAyIone lAgyuM ke temaNe paNa kharatara gacchanI AmnAya pramANe AvuM ja paMcapratikramaNa taiyAra karavuM. haMmezAM AvA kAmamAM agresara sAdhuo ke jAtio hoya che. gacchabhakto temane sahAyaka tarIke maLI ja Ave che. mAtra gacchabhAvanAnA uttejaka evA dharmagurunI ja jarUra hoya che. eka jinacAritrasUri nAmanA yatie AgevAnI lIdhI. temane paisA ApanAra to maLI ja AvyA, paNa kharatara AmnAya pramANe siMdhIvALA paMcapratikramaNanI sAthe UbhuM rahI zake evuM paMcapratikramaNa taiyAra karI chapAvI koNa Ape ? e prazna temanI sAthe haze. taiyAra karanAra ane chapAvI

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sametazikharanI yAtrA karI kalakattAmAM 203 ApanAra yogya ane pratiSThita paMDita na maLe to yatijI ane temanA sahAyakonI icchA bara AvI zake tema na hatuM, kAraNa ke moTe bhAge yatio ne sAdhuo evA koI uccatara kAma mATe yogya nathI hotA. temanuM gADuM ghaNuM kharuM paMDito ja calAve che. haragoviMdadAsa temane maLI gayA. temane navuM to kAMI karavAnuM hatuM ja nahi. mAruM chapAyela pratikramaNa AkheAkhuM presamAM mane ke siMghIjIne pUchyA vagara ApI dIdhuM ne temAM pheraphAra eTalo karyo ke kharataragacchanI vidhi mukhya sthAne rAkhI prastAvanA jevI agatyanI vastu nahi rAkhI hoya ema lAge che, kAraNa ke temaNe pote ke pelA jatijIe potAnI AvRtti mane kadI mokalI nathI. mArA taiyAra pratikramaNa uparathI taddana saraLatApUrvaka jatijIne pratikramaNa maLI gayuM ne haragoviMdadAsane pUratA paisA maLI gayA. mane to emAM kazo ja asaMtoSa na hato, ke na hatuM nukasAna. eka paMDita kamAya ne bIjA gacchane joItI vastu maLI jAya ne temAM huM nimitta banato houM to gumAvavAnuM zuM? paNa game teTalI guptatA rAkhyA chatAM akasmAtu temanI A bAjI khullI thaI gaI. potAnA kAma prasaMge siMghIjI presamAM gayelA to tyAM temaNe meja upara potAnA taraphathI chapAyela pratikramaNanI be toDelI nakalo joI. temane prathama to navAI thaI, paNa chevaTe temane mAluma paDyuM ke e toDelI nakalo kaMpojha karavA mATe amuka taraphathI AvelI che. siMghIjIne paNa emAM aprasanna thavA jevuM hatuM ja nahi. emane ke mane vicAra Avyo te eTalo ja ke, AmAM guptatA rAkhavAnI zI jarUra hatI? ane pUchavAmAM aDacaNa paNa zI hatI ? jema pelA yatijIne tema haragoviMdadAsane paNa Ane lIdhe saMkoca thayo hovo joIe ema mane temanA vyavahAra uparathI lAgyuM. temaNe bahu parizrame pAchuM mahAvo taiyAra karela che te samAlocanArthe amadAvAda Avyo. paM. becaradAsane samAlocanA lakhavAnI hatI. becaradAsa ane haragoviMdadAsa baMne mitro ane ghaNI vakhata sahakArI kAryakartAo paNa hatA. becaradAse samAlocanA lakhI mane saMbhaLAvI. becaradAsa prakRtie narama chatAM kyAreka kyAreka lakhavAmAM bahu ugra paNa banI jAya che. emaNe samAlocanAmAM aneka truTio batAvelI ne bhASA paNa kAMIka kaTuka hatI. meM temane kahyuM, haragoviMdadAsa tamArA mitra che. truTio bhale batAvo, paNa kAMIka haLavI karI mRdubhAve sUcavo. nahi to tamArA vacceno saMbaMdha kaluSita thaze. temanI prakRti tame jANo ja cho ItyAdi. becaradAse sudhAraNA karI samAlocanA lakhI mokalI. AvI truTi darzAvatI mRdu, paNa samAlocanA haragoviMdadAsane na gamI ne pitto gayo. ne temaNe becaradAsane khUba AvezathI javAba lakhyo. becaradAsane javAba lakhavAmAM temaNe potAnI truTiono bacAva karatAM mArA pratikramaNanI saMskRta chAyAnA doSo paNa nirdezayA, becaradAsa mArI pAse sAthe rahe che to temaNe mArA sUcanathI

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2ja che mAruM jIvanavRtta ja samAlocanAmAM truTio batAvI haze ema mAnI laI haragoviMdadAse becaradAsane javAba vALatAM mArA pratikramaNanI saMskRta chAyAno upayoga karyo. A joI mane navAI lAgI. meM to becaradAsanI samAlocanAne taddana haLavI karAvI hatI ane becaradAsane kaheluM ke jo AvI tIkhI tamatamatI samAlocanA prasiddha karazo to e kozanA vecANa upara asara thaze. joke mAruM A valaNa haragoviMdadAsa jANatA na hatA ne tethI ja temanA manamAM eka jAtano pUrvagraha vadhAre poSAyo haze ema mane lAgyuM. meM temane lakhyuM ke tamArA kozanI becaradAse karela [samAlocanA meM mRdu karAvI che.]. | mAruM jIvanavRttanuM lakhANa ahIM aTakI jAya che. paMDitajInI icchA hatI ke samagra lakhANa navesarathI lakhAvavuM, tethI jIvanabhara A lakhANa pragaTa karavAnI saMmati ApI. na hatI paraMtu chelle jyAre temane khyAla Avyo ke have punaH samagra jIvanavRtta lakhAvavuM saMbhavita nathI tyAre ja temaNe lakhANa chapAvavAnI saMmati ApI paNa durbhAgye A lakhANa graMtha rUpe pragaTa thayuM tyAre paMDitajI hayAta na hatA. AtmakathA svarUpa temanuM jeTaluM ane jevuM jIvana ApaNe pAmI zakyA chIe te paNa 20mI sadInI AzcaryakAraka ghaTanA svarUpa che. vAcaka ane jijJAsuone preraNA Ape tevuM adbhuta che.)

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ja paMDita sukhalAlajIno janma 8 Disembara 1888mAM surendranagara pAse Avela lImaDI nAmanA nAnakaDA gAmaDAmAM thayo hato. 16 varSanI uMmare temaNe zItaLAmAM AMkho gumAvI tyArathI, temanA ja jaNAvyA mujaba, temano bIjo janma zarU thayo. A pachInuM temanuM jIvana akathya puruSArtha jevuM hatuM. sane 1904thI 1921 sudhI kAzI ane mithilAmAM prathama saMskRta bhASA ane pachI bhAratIya darzanano abhyAsa karyo ane adhyApanakArya karyuM. 1921thI 1930 sudhI gUjarAta vidyApIThamAM rahIne sanmatitarkanA pAMca bhAgonuM saMpAdanakArya karyuM. te samagra bhAratIya darzananA itihAsamAM ananya ghaTanA hatI. 1933thI 1944 sudhI banArasa hindu yunivarsiTImAM adhyayana ane adhyApanakArya karyuM. A daramyAna tarkabhASA, pramANamImAMsA ane jJAnabiMdu jevA graMthonuM saMpAdanakArya karyuM. 1944 bAda yunivarsiTImAMthI nivRtta thaI satata vidyApravRtti karatAM karatAM 97 varSanI uMmare bIjI mArca 1978mAM avasAna pAmyA. paMDita sukhalAlajI vIsamI sadInA eka maulika philasUpha hatA. emaNe jIvanamAM vidvattA, sAdAI ane manuSya-premano saMgama sAdhyo hato. bhAratanA vidhavidha dharmomAM raheluM samanvayabIja emaNe zodhyuM ane dharmane kriyAkAMDathI mukta karyo. je dharma samAja mATe upayogI na hoya e dharma aprastuta che e vAta temaNe aneka graMthomAM samajAvI che. eka prajJAcakSu asahAya yuvAna bhAratIya darzanano vizvavikhyAta vidvAna kevI rIte banyo tenI gAthA mAnavajAta mATe sAcavI rAkhavA jevo vAraso che. temaNe adhyAtmavicAraNA, bhAratIya tattvavidyA, samadarzI AcArya haribhadrasUri jevA graMtho tathA 'mAruM jIvanavRtta' nAmanI AtmakathA lakhI. A uparAMta aneka dharma, samAja, rAjanIti, keLavaNI vagere para je asaMkhya lekho lakhyA te traNa bhAgamAM 'darzana ane ciMtana'mAM pragaTa thayA che. For Private & Personal use only