Book Title: Bhramcharya Purvardha
Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Dada Bhagwan Foundation
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/008846/1

JAIN EDUCATION INTERNATIONAL FOR PRIVATE AND PERSONAL USE ONLY
Page #1 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ eIei bhagavAna kathita sa dAdA bhagavAna kavitA - 5 thI samajathI prApta brahmacarya (pUrvArdha) = 9 eNe jItyuM jagata ! abrahmacaryanA vicAro Ave chatAM brahmacaryanI zaktio mAMgamAMga kare, e bahu UMcI vAta che. brahmacaryanI zaktio mAMga mAMga kare eTale koIne be varSe, koIne pAMca varSe paNa evo udaya AvI jAya ! jeNe abrahamacarya jItyuM eNe AkhuM jagata jItyuM. brahmacaryavALA para to zAsana deva-devIo bahu khuza rahe!!! -dAdAzrI 8 9 riri (pUrvArdha) Page #2 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ prakAzaka : dAdA bhagavAna phAunDezana (madrAsa) vatI zrI ajita sI. paTela 9, manohara pArka, egamora, madrAsa - 6O O8. phona - 8261369, 8261243. dAdA bhagavAta kathita (c) : saMpAdakane svAdhIna prata : 5000 samajathI prApta brahmacarya (pUrvArdha) bhAva mUlya : 'parama vinaya' ane 'huM kaMI ja jANato nathI', e bhAva ! dravya mUlya : 50 rUpiyA (rAhata dare) varSa : 1997 prAptisthAna : dAdA bhagavAna phAunDezana 1, varuNa epArTamenTa, 37, zrImALI sosAyaTI, navaraMgapurA, amadAvAda-389. phona - (079) 6421154 pheksa - 408528 lesara kaMpojha : dAdA bhagavAna phAunDezana, amadAvAda saMklata : DaoN. nIrubahena amIta prinTara : megnama prinTarsa, tAvaDIpurA, amadAvAda. Page #3 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samarpaNa vikarALa viSayAgnimAM dinarAta jalatA; arere ! avadazA to ya temAM ja vicaratA! saMsAranAM pari bhramaNane saharSa svIkAratA; ne pariNAme du:kha anaMta bhogavatA! dAvAo karArI, mizracetana-saMge cUkavatA; anaMta Atmasukhane, viSayabhoge vimukhatA! viSaya ajJAna TaLe, jJAnI 'jJAna' patharAtA; 'draSTi' nirmaLatA taNI kUMcIo arpatAM! 'mokSagAmI' kAje - brahmacArI ke pariNatA; zIlanI samaja thakI mokSapathane pamADatA! aho ! nigraMthajJAnInI vANItaNI adbhutatA; anubhavInAM vacano nigraMthapadane pamADatAM! mokSapaMthe vicaratA, 'zIlapada'ne bhAvatA; vItarAga cAritryanA bIjAMkura khIlavatA! aho ! brahmacaryanI sAdhanA kAje nIsaratA; AMtar bAhya mUMjhavaNe sat ukela darzAvatA! jJAnaveNonI saMkalanA, 'samaja brahmacarya'nI karAvatA; AtmakalyANArthe 'A', mahAgraMtha jagacaraNe samarpitA! ////////// 3 Page #4 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ saMpAdakIya jIvanamAM jokhamo to jANI joyAM paNa anaMtA jIvananAM jokhamonI jaDa, je che te jeNe jANI hoya to ja te temAMthI chuTakAro pAmI zake ! ane te jaDa che viSayanI ! A viSayamAM to kevI bhayaMkara paravazatA sarjAya che ?! emAM AkhI jiMdagI koInA gulAma banI rahevAnuM ! kema poSAya ? vANI, vartana eTaluM ja nahIM, paNa enAM manane paNa dina rAta sAcavyA karavAnuM ! tema chatAM palle zuM AvavAnuM ?! saMsAranI narI paravazatA, paravazatA ne paravazatA ! pote AkhA brahmAMDano mAlika banI saMpUrNa svataMtrapadamAM AvI zake tevI kSamatA dharAvanAro viSayamAM DUbI paravaza banI jAya che. A te kevI karuNAjanaka sthiti ! viSayanI baLatarAmAM kAraNa viSaya pratyenI ghora Asakti che ne sarva Asaktino AdhAra viSayanA vAstavika svarUpanI 'ajJAnatA che. 'jJAnI puruSa' vinA e ajJAnatA kaI rIte dUra thAya ?! jyAM sudhI viSayanI mUchamAM varte che, tyAM sudhI jIvanA adhogamana ke UrdhvagamananI koI pArAzIzI ja gaNavI hoya, to te tenI viSaya pratyenI anukrame ruci agara to aruci che ! paraMtu jene saMsAranAM sarva baMdhanothI mukta thavuM che, te jo eka viSayabaMdhanathI mukta thayo to sarva baMdhano saheje chUTe che ! saMpUrNa brahmacaryanA pAlana thakI ja viSayAsaktinI jaDa nirmala thaI jAya tema che. yathArtha brahmacarya pALavAmAM, enI zuddhatAne sarvapaNe sArthaka karavAmAM 'jJAnI puruSa'nA Azraye rahIne eka bhava jAya to te anaMta bhavonI bhaTakAmaNano aMta lAve evuM che !!! AmAM anivArya kAraNa jo koI hoya to te potAno brahmacarya pALavAno draDha nizcaya che. ene mATe brahmacaryanA nizcayane chedatAM eke eka vicArane pakaDI, tene mULathI ukheDI nAkhyA karavAnA che. nizcayane chedatA vicAro, jevA ke 'viSaya vinA rahevAze ke kema ? mArA sukhanuM zuM ? patnI vinA rahevAze ke kema ? mAre AdhAra kono ? patnI vinA ekalA kema nibhAvAze ? jIvanamAM konI hUMpha maLI raheze ? gharanAM nahIM mAne to ?!' .......I. I. nizcayane chedatAM aneka vicAro svAbhAvikapaNe AvavAnA. tyAM tene turata ukheDI nizcaya pAcho vadhArene vadhAre majabUta karI levAno rahe che. vicArone uDADatuM yathArtha 'darzana' mahIM potAnI jAtane dekhADavuM paDe, ke 'viSaya vinA keTalAya jIvI gayA, eTaluM ja nahIM paNa siddheya thayA. pote AtmA tarIke anaMta sukhadhAma che, viSayanI potAne jarUra ja nathI ! patnI marI jAya te zuM ekalA nathI jIvatA ? huMpha konI khoLavAnI ? potAnuM nirAlaMba svarUpa prApta karavuM che ne bIjI bAju huMpha khoLavI che ? e be kema bane ?" ane jyAM potAno nizcaya meru parvatanI jema aDola rahe che, tyAM kudarata paNa tene yArI Ape che ne viSayamAM lapasavAnA saMjogo ja bhegA nathI thavA detI. eTale potAnA nizcaya upara ja badho AdhAra che. brahmacarya pALavuM che evo abhiprAya draDha thAya enAthI kaMI patatuM nathI. brahmacarya mATenI jAgRti utpanna thavI ati ati mahattvanI vastu che. brahmacarya mATenI jAgRti kSaNe kSaNe vartAtI rahe tyAre brahmacarya vartanAmAM rahe. eTale jyAre rAta-divasa brahmacarya saMbaMdhInI ja vicAraNAo cAlatI rahe, nizcaya draDha thato rahe, saMsAranuM vairAgya nipajAvanAruM svarUpa dinarAta dekhAtuM rahe, brahmacaryanAM pariNAmo satata dekhAtAM rahe, koIpaNa saMjogomAM brahmacarya nA bhUle, evI utkRSTa dazAmAM Ave tyAre abrahmacaryanI gAMTho tUTavA mAMDe. brahmacaryanI jAgRti eTalI badhI vartatI hoya ke viSayano eka paNa vicAra, viSaya tarapha eka kSaNa paNa cittanuM kheMcANa tenI jAgRtinI bahAra jatuM nathI, ne tema thatAM tatkaNe pratikramaNa thaI tenuM koI saMdana rahe nahIM, eTaluM ja nahIM paNa sAmAyikamAM te doSanuM UMDethI vizleSaNa thaI jaDamULathI ukheDavAnI prakriyAo cAlatI rahe, tyAre viSayabIja nirmUlananA yathArtha mArge prayANa thAya. brahmacaryano nizcaya draDha thaI jAya, ne dhyeya ja banI jAya, pachI te dhyeyane niraMtara 'sinsIyara' rahya, dhyeye pahoMcavAnA saMyogo sahejA saheja sAme AvatA jAya che. dhyeya pakaDAyA pachI 'jJAnI puruSa'nA vacano potAne AgaLa laI jAya che, agara to gabaDavAnI paristhitimAM e vacano Page #5 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ dhyeyane dharI rAkhavAmAM sahAyarUpa banI jAya che. ema karatAM karatAM aMte pote ja dhyeya svarUpa bane che. tyAre pachI game tevA DagAve tevA ya, aMdaranA ke bahAranA jabaradasta vicitra saMyogo Ave, chatAM jeno nizcaya Dagato nathI, je nizcayane ja 'sinsIyara' varte che tene vAMdho nathI Avato. zuddha brahmacarya pALavA 'jJAnI puruSa'nuM sAnnidhya, tathA brahmacArIono saMga ati ati Avazyaka che. e vinA game teTalI sTroMga bhAvanA haze to ya siddhi sudhI pahoMcavAmAM anekAneka aMtarAyo AvI paDe tema che ! 'jJAnI puruSa'nA satata mArgadarzana heThaLa sAdhaka, mArgamAM AvatI pratyeka mUMjhavaNo pAra karI jaI zake che ! vaLI gRhasthIonA saMga asarathI aLago rahI, brahmacArIonA ja vAtAvaraNamAM potAnA dhyeyane TheTha sudhI vaLagI rahI dhyeyane prApta karI le che. 'jJAnI puruSa'nA upadezane grahaNa karI brahmacaryanA draDha nizcayamAM AvI gayelo sAdhaka, brahmacArIonA saMgabaLathI paNa tarI jaI zake tema che ! brahmacaryanI bhAvanA jAgRta thavI, tema ja tenA mATeno nizcaya draDha thavo, te mATenuM satata mArgadarzana maLI rahe, e to atyaMta Avazyaka che, paNa brahmacaryanI sarva rIte 'sepha sAIDa' rahe te mATenI potAnI mahIMlI jAgRti paNa eTalI ja jarUrI che, 'anasepha' jagyAethI 'sephalI' chUTI javAnI jAgRti ne tenA 'prekTikala'mAM samayasUcakatAnI vADa sAdhaka pAse hovI jarUrI che. nahIM to durlabha evA brahmacaryanA UgelA choDavAne bakarAM cAvI jAya !! eka bAju motane svIkAravAnuM bane to te saharSa svIkArI le, paNa potAnI brahmacaryanI 'sepha sAIDa'nA cUke, sthULa saMjogonA 'kriTikala' dabANa vacce paNa e viSayanA khADAmAM nA ja paDe, brahmacarya bhaMga na ja thavA de. eTalI hadanI 'sTroMganesa' jarUrI che, ane tenA mATe jAgRti lAvavI kevI rIte ? potAnI brahmacarya pALavA mATenI cokhkhI dAnata, tenI saMpUrNa 'sinsIyAriTI'thI ja e Ave tema che ! brahmacaryanI 'sepha sAIDa' mATe AMtarika temaja bAhya 'eviDansa'ne siphatathI uDAvavAnI kSamatA pragaTavI jarUrI che. AMtarika vikArI bhAvone samajaNe karIne, zAne karIne puruSArthathI ogALe, jemAM viSaya e saMsAranuM mULa che, pratyakSa narka samAna che, lapasAvanAruM che, jagata kalyANanA dhyeyane aMtarAya lAvanAruM che temaja 'zrI vijhana'nI jAgRti ane aMte 'vijJAnajAgRti'e karIne AMtarika viSayane uDADe. 'vijJAna jAgRti'mAM pote koNa che ? potAnuM svarUpa kevuM che ? viSayo zuM che ? te konAM pariNAma che ? I. I. pRthakkaraNanA pariNAme AMtarika sUkSma vikArI bhAvo paNa kSaya thAya. jyAre bAhya saMjogomAM draSTidoSa, sparzadoSa ne saMgadoSathI vimukha rahevAnI vyavahAra jAgRti utpanna thavI paNa jarurI che. nahIM to saheja ja ajAgRti viSayanA kyA ne keTalA UMDA khADAmAM nAkhI de, te koIthI kahevAya nahIM ! viSayanuM rakSaNa, viSayanA bIjane vAraMvAra sajIvana kare che. 'viSayamAM zuM vAMdho che,' kahyuM ke viSayanuM thayuM rakSaNa !!! 'viSaya to sthULa che, AtmA sUkSma che, mokSe jatAM viSaya kaMI naDato nathI, bhagavAna mahAvIre ya paiNyA hatA, pachI ApaNane zuM vAMdho che ?" Ama buddhi vakIlAta karIne viSayanuM jabarajasta 'proTekzana' karAve. eka phero viSayanuM 'proTekzana' thayuM ke tene jIvatadAna maLI gayuM ! pachI emAMthI pAchuM jAgRtinI Toce jAya tyAre pAcho viSayamAMthI chUTavAnA puruSArthamAM AvI zake ! nahIM to e viSayarUpI aMdhakAramAM khedAnamedAna thaI jAya, tevo bhayaMkara che ! viSayI sukhonI murchanA kyAre ya mokSe javA nA de tevI che, paraMtu viSayI sukho pariNAme duHkha denArAM ja nIvaDe che. pragaTa 'jJAnI puruSa' thakI viSayI sukhonI (!) yathArthatA khullI thAya che, te ghaDIe jAgRtimAM AvI jaIne ene sAcA sukhanI samaja utpanna thAya tathA viSayI sukhamAM asukhanI oLakhANa paDe. paraMtu pachI TheTha sudhI 'jJAnI puruSa'nI draSTie vartI viSaya bIja nirmULa karavAnuM che. e paMthe sarva prakAre 'sepha sAIDa' sAcavIne tarI pAra nIkaLI gayelA evA 'jJAnI puruSe' darzAvelA rAhe ja pravartI sAdhake, e sAdhya siddha karavAnuM rahe che. jene AtmAnuM spaSTavedana A dehe ja anubhavavuM hoya, tene vizuddha brahmacarya vinA AnI prApti zakya ja nathI. jyAM sudhI viSayamAM sukha che 8 Page #6 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ evI sUkSmAtisUkSma 'roMga bilipha' che tyAM sudhI viSayanA paramANu saMpUrNapaNe nirjarI jatA nathI. e 'roMga bilIpha' saMpUrNa sarvAgapaNe UMDe tyAM sudhI jAgRti ati ati sUkSmapaNe rAkhavI ghaTe. saheja paNa jhokuM AvI jAya te pUrepUrI nirjarA thavAmAM AMtaro nAkhe che. viSaya hovo ja nA joIe. ApaNane viSaya kema rahe ? agara to jhera pIne marIza paNa viSayanA khADAmAM nahIM ja paDuM. evA ahaMkAre karIne ya viSayathI vikhUTA paDavA jevuM che. eTale game te raste chevaTe ahaMkAra karIne ya A viSayathI chUTavA jevuM che. ahaMkArathI brahmacarya pakaDAya che, jenA AdhAre ghaNo kharo sthaLa viSayabhAga jItI javAya che ne pachI sUkSmatAe 'samaja' samajI karIne ane AtmajJAnanA AdhAre viSayathI saMpUrNapaNe sarvAgapaNe mukti meLavI levAnI che. nirvikArI draSTi vedI nathI tyAM sudhI kyAM ya draSTi milAvavI e bhayaMkara jokhama che. tema chatAM jyAM jyAM draSTi bagaDe, mana bagaDe, tyAM tyAM te vyaktinA zuddhAtmAnAM darzana karI, pragaTa 'jJAnI puruSa'ne sAkSImAM rAkhIne manathI, vANIthI ke vartanathI thayelA viSaya saMbaMdhI doSano khuba khUba pastAvo karavo, kSamA prArthavI ne pharI kyAre ya evo doSa nA thAya evo draDha nizcaya karavo. Ama yathArthapaNe AlocanA, pratikramaNa ne pratyAkhyAna thAya to viSayadoSathI mukti thAya. jyAM vadhAre bagADa thato hoya tyAM te vyaktinA ja zuddhAtmA pAse manamAM brahmacaryanI zaktio mAMga mAMga karavI paDe ne jyAM khuba ja cIkaNuM hoya tyAM kalAkonA kalAko pratikramaNa karI dho dho karavuM paDe to evA viSayadoSathI chUTAya. sAmAyikamAM Aja dina sudhI pUrve jyAM jyAM, jyAre jyAre thayelA pratyeka viSaya saMbaMdhI doSone AtmabhAvamAM rahIne jAgRtipUrvaka joI tenuM yathArtha pratikramaNa karI nAkhavAnuM hoya che, tyAre e doSothI mukti thAya. AkhA divasa daramiyAna thayelAM alpa paNa vicAradoSa ke draSTidoSanuM pratikramaNa karI tathA te doSanuM, viSayanA svarUpanuM, tenAM pariNAmanuM, tenI sAmenI jAgRtinuM, upAyonuM pRthakkaraNa sAmAyikamAM thAya. kharekhara to viSayadoSanAM pratikramaNa 'zUTa ona sAITa' karavAM ja joIe. chatAM ajAgRtimAM rahI gayeluM agara to utAvaLamAM adhUruM thayeluM, agara to UMDANapUrvakanuM 'enAlisIsa' sAmAyikamAM sthiratAthI saMpUrNapaNe thAya tyAre e doSo dhovAya. viSayanI gAMTho jyAre phUTyA karatI hoya, citta viSayamAM khovAyeluM ne khovAyeluM ja rahe, bAhya saMyogo paNa vikArane uttejita karanArA maLe, evA samaye kyAreka zrutajJAna paNa kAma lAge nahIM, tyAre tyAM to 'jJAnI puruSa" pAse pratyakSamAM ja muMjhavaNonI AlocanA kare, pratikramaNa kare, pratyAkhyAna kare to ja ukela Ave ! viSaya roga Akho ya kapaTanA AdhAre Takelo che, ane kapaTane koInI pAse khullu karI devAmAM Ave to viSaya nirAdhAra banI jAya ! nirAdhAra viSaya pachI keTaluM kheMcI zake ? viSayane nirmaLa karavA mATe 'A' moTAmAM moTI, pAyAnI ne ati mahatvanI vAta che. viSaya saMbaMdhI game teTalo bhayaMkara doSa thayo hoya paNa tenI 'jJAnI puruSa' pAse AlocanA thAya to doSathI chUTI javAya ! kAraNa ke AmAM pAchalA gunAo jovAtA nathI, teno nizcaya jovAya che ! viSayamAMthI chUTavAnI je tamannA jAgRta thAya che te TheTha sudhI Take, to te tamannA ja viSayamAMthI mukta karAvaDAve che. - brahmacarya akhaMDa pALavAno dhyeya, temAM brahmacaryanI AvazyakatA, brahmacaryanI siddhinA pariNAme prApta thatI AtmasiddhinI parAkASThA, AtmAno spaSTa anubhava, AtmasukhanuM spaSTa vedana, I. I. niraMtaranI ciMtavanA viSayanI brAMta mAnyatAothI mukta karAvI sAcuM darzana phITa karAve che. AvAM ciMtavanopUrvakanI sAmAyika vAraMvAra karavI ghaTe, to dareka vakhate navuM ne navuM ja darzana thayA kare ne pariNAme dhyeya svarUpa thavAya tema che. potAnuM svarUpa zuddhAtmA che ke je sUkSmatama che te viSaya mAtra sthaLa che. sthaLane sUkSma kaI rIte bhogave ? A to ahaMkArathI viSaya bhogave che ne AropaNa AtmA para jAya che ! kevI bhrAMti !!! 'AtmA sUkSmatama 10. Page #7 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ upoddhAta DaoN. nIrubahena amIta che ne viSayo sthaLa che. sUkSmatama AtmA sthaLane kaI rIte bhogavI zake ? 'jJAnI puruSa'nA A vaijJAnika vAkyane, potAnA sUkSmatama svarUpamAM ja niraMtara anubhavapUrvaka rahevAnI dazAe pahoMcyA sivAya vAparavA mAMDe, to sonAnI kaTAra peTamAM ghoMcavA jevI dazA thAya ! A vAkyano upayoga jAgRtinI parama sImAe pahoMcelA mATe che, ane evI jAgRtie pahoMcelAne sthULa sUkSma viSayo to saheje ya kharI paDelA hoya ! viSayonI bahAra nIkaLyA vagara A vAkya pote 'eDajasTa' karI le tenAM jokhama to 'pote viSayathI pakaDAyelo che, tenAthI chUTavA mathe che" ema svIkArI lenArA karatAM ghaNuM ghaNuM vadhAre che. 'akrama vijJAna' thakI je jAgRti utpanna thAya che, tenA thakI viSayo saMpUrNa jItI zakAya tema che. viSayano vicAra paNa nA Ave, viSayamAM saheja paNa citta nA jAya, tyAM sudhInI zuddhi A vijJAnathI thAya tema che. emAM 'jJAnI puruSa'nI kRpA to kharI ane e paNa vizeSa vizeSa kRpA ja khUba khUba moTo bhAga bhajave che. sAdhakane to viSayathI chUTavuM ja che evo draDha nizcaya ja AmAM joIe che. bAkI 'jJAnI puruSa'nuM vacanabaLa tathA "jJAnI puruSa'nI vizeSa kRpA thakI akhaMDa zuddha brahmacarya AvA kALamAM paNa pALI zakAya che ! have chelle, 'jJAnI puruSa'nI A zIla saMbaMdhI vANI judA judA nimittAdhIna, jude jude kSetre, saMyogAdhIna nIkaLelI che. te sarve vANI ekatritapaNe atre saMkalita thaI A 'samajathI prApta brahmacarya' graMtha banyo che. AvA duSamakALanA vikarALa mahA mahA mohanIya vAtAvaraNamAM 'brahmacarya' saMbaMdhamAM adbhuta vijJAna jagatane ApavuM e sonAnI kaTAra jevuM sAdhana che ane teno sadupayoga aMte AtmakalyANakArI thaI paDe tevuM che. vAcakane to atyaMta vinaMtI eTalI ja karavAnI rahI ke saMkalanAmAM koI paNa prakAre bhAsatI kSatio pratye kSamA prArthanA bakSI A adbhuta graMthanuM samyak ArAdhana kare ! DaoN. nIrubahena amIna jaya saccidAnaMda khaMDa : 1 viSayanuM svarUpa, jJAtI-draSTie ! 1. vizleSaNa, viSayamAM svarUpatuM ! viSaya kone kahevAya ? jemAM lubdhamAna thAya tyAre te viSaya kahevAya. bIjuM badhuM jarUriyAta kahevAya. khAvuM, pIvuM e viSaya nathI. viSayanAM kIcaDamAM kema jhaMpalAve che te ja samajAtuM nathI. pAMca IndriyanA kIcaDamAM manuSya eTale ke aizvarya pAmelo je Izvara kahevAya, te kema paDyo che ?! jAnavaro ya Ane pasaMda nathI karatA. mahAvIra bhagavAne brahmacarya e pAMcamuM mahAvrata A kALanA manuSyone zA mATe ApyuM ? kAraNa A kALanA loko viSayanuM AvaraNa eTaluM bhAre laIne AvelA che ke temane tenA bebhAnapaNAmAMthI bahAra kADhI mokSe laI javA, A pAMcamuM mahAvrata vadhArAnuM ApyuM ! viSaya e vikRti che ! manane bahelAvavAnuM sAdhana banAvyuM che ! Akho dahADo tApamAM tapelI bheMso gaMdI gAravatAmAM zA mATe paDI rahe che ? ThaMDakanI lAlace dugaMdhane bhUlI jAya che ! tema AjanA manuSyo AkhA dahADAnI doDadhAmanA thAkathI kaMTALIne, nokarI-dhaMdho ke gharanAM TenzanamAM, mAnasika taNAva khUba bhogavatA, baLatarAmAMthI DAyavarTa thavA viSayanA kAdavamAM kude che ane enAM pariNAmo bhUlI jAya che ! viSaya bhogavyA pachI bhalabhalo bhaDavIra maDadA jevo thaI jAya che ! zuM kADhayuM emAMthI ? viSayane jhera che ema jANyA pachI koI ene aDe ? jagatamAM bhaya rAkhavA jevuM je kaMI hoya to te A viSaya ja che ! A sApa, viMchI, vAgha, siMhathI kevA bhaya pAme che ? viSaya to ethI ya vadhu viSamaya che ! jeno bhaya sevavAno che tene ja loka paramasukha mAnIne mANe che ! viparIta Page #8 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ matinI parimiti kyAM ? anaMta avatAranI kamANImAM UMcuM upAdAna laIne Ave mokSa mATe, te viSayanI pAchaLa palavAramAM khoI nAkhe !!! arere ! he mAnava ! tArI samajaNa kevI rIte AvarAI ?! mANasa nirAlaMba rahI zakato nathI. nirAlaMba to ekalA jJAnI puruSa ja rahI zake ! e sivAyanA Itara loko buddhinA AzayamAM strI, putrAdinA TenDara bharIne ja lAve jethI enA vinA ene cAle nA ! mAMgI hatI mAtra strI, paNa joDe joDe AvyAM sAsu, sasarA, sALA, sALI, mAmA sasarA, kAkA sasarA. moTuM laMgara lAgyuM ! 'alyA, meM to eka strI ja mAgI hatI ne A lazkara kyAMthI AvyuM ?!' 'alyA, strI kaMI uparathI TapakIne Ave che ! e Ave eTale joDe joDe A lazkara Ave ja ne ! tane khabara nahatI ?" AnuM nAma bebhAnapaNuM ! pariNAmano vicAra ja nA hoya ke eka viSayanI pAchaLa keTalAM lAMbA lazkaranI lAIna lAge che !!! ane ghANInA baLadanI jema AkhI jIMdagI jAya che enI pAchaLa ! koIe sAcuM zIkhavADyuM ja nathI. nAnapaNathI ja mA-bApa ke vaDIlo magajamAM ghAla ghAla kare che ke vahu to AvI lAvIzuM ne paiNyA vagara to cAle ja nahIM ane vaMzavelo to cAlu rahevo joIe. Atmasukha cAkhyA pachI viSaya sukha moLAM lAge, jalebI khAdhA pachI cA kevI lAge ? jIbhano viSaya "oke', karAya paNa bIjAmAM to kaMI barakata ja nathI, mAtra kalpanAo ja che badhI ! dhRNA upajAve evI vastu che viSaya ! viSaya bhogavavAM pAMce ya IndriyamAMthI koIne A gamatuM nathI. AMkhane jovuM nA game, tethI aMdhAruM karI nAkhe. nAkane ya jarAya nA game. jIbhanI to vAta ja zuM karavI ? urdu ulTI thAya evuM hoya. sparze ya karavAnuM nA game, chatAM stasukha mAne che ! koIne pasaMda nathI chatAM kyA AdhAre viSaya bhogave che e ja ajAyabI che ne ?! lokasaMjJAthI ja emAM paDyA che ! viSaya e saMDAsa che, galana che ! AmAM paNa tanmayAkAra thaI jAya che mATe enAM kaoNjhIjha navA paDe che ! viSayanuM pRththakaraNa kare to te kharajavAne khaMjavALavA jevuM che ! arere ! anaMta avatAra AnuM A ja karyuM ?!! A gaTarane kema karIne UghADAya ? narI durgaMdha, durgadha ne dugaMdha !!! zrImad rAjacaMdra viSayane vamana karavA yogya jagyA nathI ema kahyuM che ! ghUMkavA jevuM nathI tyAM ! viSaya buddhithI nathI, mananA AmaLAthI che, mATe buddhithI ene dUra karI zakAya ema che. DuMgaLInI gaMdha kone Ave ? je nA khAto hoya tene ! AhArI AhAra kare che tema viSayI viSaya kare che ! paNa e lakSamAM rahevuM joIe ne ? paNa ajJAnatAnA AvaraNane laIne lakSamAM rahetuM nathI. cAra dahADAno bhUkhyo, lIMTavALo roTalo ya khaI jAya ! AjakAla to manuSyo eTalA gaMdhAtA hoya che ke ApaNuM mAthuM phATI jAya jo jarAka najIka AvyA hoya to ! tethI A badhA paraphayumsa chAMTatA hoya che covIse ya kalAka ! viSayamAM sukha hota to cakravartI rAjAo ATalI badhI rANIo hovA chatAM badhuM choDIne sAcA sukhanI zodhamAM nA nIkaLI paDyA hota ! jIvana zAnA mATe che ? saMsAra mAMDIne maravA mATe ?! sukha mATe ke javAbadArIo UbhI karI bimArIo notaravA mATe ? ATaluM bhaNyA gaNyA paNa bhaNatarano upayoga zuM ? menaTenansa mATe ja ne ? A ejIna pAsethI zuM kAma kaDhAvavuM che ? kaMI hetu to hovo joIe ne ? A manuSyabhavano hetu zuM ? mokSa ! paNa ApaNI dizA kaI ne cAlI rahyA kyAM ?!!! A vAgyuM hoya ne lohI vahI jatuM hoya to ApaNe ene baMdha zA mATe karIe chIe ? nA baMdha karIe to ? to to vIkanesa AvI jAya ! tema A viSaya baMdha nahIM thavAthI zarIramAM bahu vIkanesa AvI jAya che ! brahmacaryane pudgalasAra kahyo ! mATe ene sAcavo ! mATe karakasara karo vIrya ane lakSmInI ! khorAka khAIne teno arka thaI vIrya thAya che je abrahmacaryathI khalAsa thaI jAya che. mATe brahmacarya sevo ! je brahmacaryathI mokSa thAya te kAmanuM. 13 14 Page #9 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ A akrama vijJAna paNelAMone ya mokSe laI jAya tevuM che ! jene pahelethI ja brahmacarya pALavAnI bhAvanA hoya teNe dAdA pAse zakti mAMgavI, 'he dAdA bhagavAna mane brahmacarya pALavAnI zakti Apo.' viSayano vicAra AvatAM ja tatkSaNe ja ukheDIne pheMkI devAno. koI strI pratye draSTi mAMDavI nahIM. draSTi kheMcAya ke tarata ja khaseDI levI ane pratikramaNa zUTa oNna sAITa karI levuM. viSaya joIe ja nahIM evo nizcaya niraMtara rahevo joIe ane prakhara Atmastha jJAnI puruSanI nizrAmAM rahIne emAMthI chUTI javAya ! haraiyA DhoranI jema jIvavuM tenA karatAM eka khIle baMdhAvuM sAruM. draSTi Thera Thera nA bagaDavI joIe. strI e puruSanuM saMDAsa che ke puruSa e strInuM saMDAsa che. saMDAsamAM zuM moha rAkhavAno hoya ? brahmacaryano nizcaya karatAM karatAM jAtane khUba cakAsI jovI paDe. tAvavI paDe. jo nA pahoMcI vaLAya evuM hoya to paiNI javuM uttama, paNa pachI ya kaMTrolapUrvakanuM hovuM joIe. brahmacarya Atmasukha mATe kevI rIte madada kare ? bahu madada kare. abrahmacaryathI to dehabaLa, manobaLa, buddhibaLa, ahaMkArabaLa badhuM ya khalAsa thaI jAya ! jyAre brahmacaryathI AkhuM aMtaHkaraNa sudraDha thaI jAya ! brahmacarya paLAya to uttama ne nA paLAya to abrahmacarya e khoTuM che, evuM jANe to ya bahu thaI gayuM. brahmacarya mahAvrata vatyuM tene kahevAya. viSaya jene yAde ya nathI Avato, brahmacarya ke abrahmacaryano jene abhiprAya nathI rahyo tene vrata vatyuM kahevAya. bAkI AtmA to sadA brahmacaryavALo ja che. AtmAe viSaya kyAre ya bhogavyo nathI. AtmA sUkSmatama che ane viSaya cULa che. mATe sthaLane sUkSma bhogavI ja nA zake ! parama pUjya dAdAzrI kahe che ke, "A jJAna pachI viSayano kyAre mane vicAre ya nathI Avyo !' tyAre ja AvuM viSaya rogane ukheDIne khalAsa karI nAkhe evI vANI nIkaLI che ! 2. vikArothI vimuktitI vATa... akrama mArgamAM vikArI pada ja nathI. polIsavALo jema pakaDIne karAve enA jevuM hoya. svataMtra marajIthI nA hoya. viSaya che tyAM dharma nathI. nirvikAra hoya tyAM ja dharma che ! koI dharma vikArano svIkAra karyo nathI. hAM, koIka vAmamArgI hoya. brahmacarya e to gatabhavanI bhAvanAnA pariNAmarUpe ko'ka mahA mahA puNyazALI mahAtmAne prApta thAya. bAkI sAmAnyapaNe to abrahmacarya ja Thera Thera jovA maLe ! jene bhautika sukhonI vAMchanA che, teNe to paraNavuM ja joIe ane jene bhautika nahIM paNa sanAtana sukha ja joIe teNe paiNavuM nahIM. teNe brahmacarya mana-vacana-kAyAthI pALavuM joIe. bhagavAna meLavavA vikAramukta thavuM paDe ne vikAramukta thavA zuM saMsAramukta thavuM paDe ? nA. mana to jaMgalamAM jAya to ya joDe ne joDe ja javAnuM ! e kaMI choDavAnuM che ? jo jJAnI puruSa maLI jAya to nirvikAra heje rahevAya. tRSNA enuM nAma ke bhogavya to vadhatI ja jAya ne nA bhogave to maTI jAya ! tethI brahmacaryanI zodhakhoLa thaI che ne vikArathI mukta thavA ! viSayI koNa ? Indriyo ke aMtaHkaraNa ? pADo koNa ne pakhAlI koNa ? sAmAnya paNe Indriyono doSa gaNAya ! khasI karavAthI kaMI viSaya chUTe ? 'tArI dAnata kevI che viSayamAM ?" cora dAnatathI ja viSaya Takyo che ! jJAnathI badhuM jatu rahe ! viSayano vicAra sarakho ya na rahe ! manano svabhAva kevo ? varasa, be varasa koI vastuthI vegaLA rahyA ke e vastu visarAI jAya, kAyamane mATe ! vAmamArgI zuM zIkhavADe ke je vastu dharAIne bhogavI lo to ja tenAthI chUTAya ! viSayanI bAbatamAM ulluM vadhAre saLagatuM jAya. dArUnI bAbatamAM dharAvo thaIne chUTAya ? 16 Page #10 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ viSayanI bAbatamAM kaMTrola karavA jAya to te vadhAre uchaLe che. manane jAte kaMTrola karavA jAya to nathI thAya tevuM. kaMTrolara jJAnI hovA joIe. kharekhara to manane AMtaravAnuM nathI. mananA kAraNone AMtaravAnA che. mana to pote eka pariNAma che. e nA badalAya. kAraNa badalAya. kyA kAraNe mana viSayamAM coMTayuM che te khoLI kADhI tenAthI chUTAya. jJAnIo vastune vAsanA nathI kahetA, rasane vAsanA kahe che. AtmajJAna pachI vAsanAo UDI jAya che. strI taraphanI vAsanAo kema jatI nathI ? jyAM sudhI 'huM puruSa chuM pelI strI che, evI mAnyatA che tyAM sudhI vAsanAo che. e mAnyatA jAya eTale vAsanAne gaye ja chUTako ! e mAnyatA jAya kevI rIte ? jene vAsanAo che tenAthI tame pote judAM ja cho, pote koNa cho evuM jJAna thAya, bhAna thAya, to ja te chUTe ! ane jJAnInI kRpAthI jJAna thaI zake ! 3. mAhAtI brahmacaryanuM ! brahmacarya nA paLAya to kaMI nahIM, paNa tenA virodhI to nA ja thavuM joIe. adhyAtma mArgamAM brahmacarya e moTAmAM moTuM tema ja pavitramAM pavitra sAdhana che ! aNasamajaNathI abrahmacarya TakyuM che. jJAnInI samajaNe samajI levAthI e aTake che. vyavahAramAM paNa mana-vANI ne deha normAliTImAM rahe, tethI brahmacarya Avazyaka kahyuM che. Ayurveda paNa ema ja sUcave che ! cha ja mahinA jo mana-vacana ane kAyAthI brahmacarya pALe to manobaLa, vacanabaLa tema ja dehamAM paNa jabarajasta pheraphAra thaI jAya che ! abrahmacaryathI ghaNAM badhAM rogo utpanna thAya che. emAM mana ne citta to phrekacara thaI jAya che ! keTalAMka mAnasazAstrIo kahe che ke viSaya baMdha thAya ja nahIM, cheka sudhI. paNa dAdAzrI zuM kahe che ke viSayanAM abhiprAya badalAya ke pachI viSaya raheto ja nathI. jyAM sudhI abhiprAya badalAya nahIM tyAM sudhI vIryanuM urdhvagamana thAya ja nahIM. akramamArgamAM to DirekTa AtmajJAna prApta thAya che, te ja urdhvagamana che ! jJAnI puruSa saMpUrNa nirviSayI banelA hoya, tethI temanAmAM jabarajasta vacanabaLa prakaTa thayuM hoya je viSayanuM virecana karAve. viSayanuM virecana nA karAvatAM hoya to e "jJAnI puruSa' ja nathI. sAmAnI IcchA joIe. khaMDa : 2 'tA paraNavAnAM nizcayI mATenI vATa... 1. viSayathI kaI samajaNe chUTAya ? akrama vijJAna brahmacaryamAM thoDA ja vakhatamAM sephasAIDa karI nAkhe tevuM che. kyA avatAramAM abrahmacaryano anubhava nathI karyo ? kUtarAM, bilADAM, pazu, paMkhI, manuSyo badhAMe kyAre nathI karyo ? A eka avatAra brahmacaryano anubhava to karI juo !!! enI khumArI, enI muktatA, nirbojatA to mANI juo ! brahmacaryano nizcaya thavo e ja bahu moTI vastu che ! brahmacaryanA draDha nizcayIne duniyAmAM koI kazuM nAma denAra nathI ! brahmacaryano nizcaya dekhAdekhI, tAnamAMne tAnamAM tAnanA mAryA ke bhaDakATathI thAya temAM dama nA hoya ! e game tyAre lapasAvI pADe. samajaNathI ane mokSanA dhyeya mATe karavAno che ane e nizcayane vAre vAre majabUta karavAno ane jJAnI pAse nizcaya majabUta karAvavo ane vAraMvAra bolAvavuM, 'he dAdA bhagavAna huM brahmacarya pALavAno nizcaya majabUta karuM chuM. mane nizcaya majabUta karavAnI zakti Apo." to te maLe ja. jenAM nizcaya Dage nahIM. tenuM saphaLa thAya ja ne nizcaya Dage ke bhUtAM pesI jAya ! brahmacaryano draDha nizcaya dhAraNa thayA pachI sAdhakane vArevAre eka prazna muMjhavato hoya che ke mahIM viSayanA vicAra to Ave che. tenA mATe pUjyazrI mArga batAve che ke viSayanA vicAro Ave teno vAMdho nathI, paNa vicAro je Ave che tene joyA karo ane enA amalamAM 'tame' nA bhaLo, e kahe 'sahI karo ? to ya ApaNe sTraoNMglI nA pADI devI !! ene joyAM ja karavAnA. A che mokSano cotho pAyo tapa ne pachI tenAM pratikramaNa karAvavAnA. mana 17 Page #11 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ vacana-kAyAthI je je vikArI doSo, IcchAo, ceSTAo, e badhAM doSonuM pratikramaNa karavuM paDe. viSayanA vicArathI chUTe to kevo AnaMda AnaMda thaI jAya che, to pachI enAthI kAyama chUTe to keTalo badho AnaMda rahe ?!!! abrahmacaryanAM vicAronI sAme brahmacaryanI zaktio jJAnI pAse mAMga mAMga kare eTale be-pAMca varSa evAM udaya AvI jAya. jeNe abrahmacarya jItyuM teNe AkhuM jagata jItyuM ! sarva devadevIo khUba khUza rahe ! | viSayanA vicAro Ave te be pAMdaDe phUTe te pahelAM ja ukheDIne pheMkI do ! kUpaNathI AgaLa be pAMdaDA sudhI vicAro phUTIne phAlavA nA joIe. tyAM ja turta ja ukheDIne pheMkI devA paDe to ja chUTAya ! ane jo e UgI gayuM to enI asara ApyA vinA nahIM ja jAya ! viSayanI be sTeja. eka cArja ane bIjuM DiscArja. cArja bIjane dhoI nAkhavuM. raste nIkaLyA ke "sIna sInerI' Ave ke draSTi kheMcAyA vinA nA rahe. tyAM draSTi mAMDIe to draSTi bagaDe ne ? mATe nIcuM joIne ja cAlavuM. tema chatAM draSTi maMDAI jAya to draSTi tarata ja pheravI levI ane tarata ja pratikramaNa karI levAM e nA cUkAya. badhI strIo kaMI AkarSatI nathI. jenI joDe hisAba maMDAyo hoya te ja AkarSe. mATe tene ukheDIne pheMkI do. keTalAMka to so-so vakhata pratikramaNa thAya tyAre chUTAya. pratikramaNa karavA chatAM ya jo vadhAre paDatI draSTi bagaDatI hoya to pachI upavAsa ke evo kaMI daMDa levo joIe. jethI karIne karma nA baMdhAya. sAmAnya bhAve ja jovuM. moDhA sAme TIkI TIkIne nA jovuM. tethI zAstramAM brahmacarya pALanArAne strIno phoTo ke mUrti ya jovAnI nA pADI che ! dehanidrA Avaze to cAlaze paNa bhAvanidrA nA AvavI joIe. A Trena sAmethI AvatI hoya tyAM koI UMghe ? Trena to mAre eka ja avatAra paNa bhAvanidrA mAre anaMta avatAra ! jyAM bhAvanidrA Ave tyAM te coMTaze. 'jyAM bhAvanidrA Ave te ja vyaktinA zuddhAtmA pAse brahmacarya pALavAnI zakti mAMgavAnI ke, "he zuddhAtmA bhagavAna, mane AkhA jagata joDe brahmacarya pALavAnI zaktio Apo." jyAM mIThuM lAge tyAM game teTalI jAgRti rAkhavA jAya paNa karmano jhapATo Ave tyAM badhuM bhUlADI de ! jyAM galagaliyAM thayAM ke tarata ja samajI javAnuM ke ahIM phasAmaNa thaI. jene eka AtmA ja joIe che tene pachI viSaya zeno thAya ? ApaNI mA para, bena para draSTi kema bagaDatI nathI ? e ya strI ja che ne ? paNa tyAM bhAva nathI karyo tethI. zrImad rAjacaMdra brahmacarya upara khUba ja suMdara phoDa pADyA che, padyamAM. strIne kASTanI pUtaLI gaNo. viSaya jItatAM AkhuM jagatanuM sAmrAjya jItAI jAya che. AtmajJAna mATe brahmacarya ja pAtratA lAve che. A avatAramAM akramajJAnathI viSaya bIjathI tadana nigraMtha thaI zakAya ? pUjyazrI kahe che ke 'hA thaI zakAya.' viSayanuM sTeja dhyAna kare ke badhuM jJAna bhraSTa thaI jAya. mana-vacana-kAyAthI je brahmacarya pALe te zIlavAna kahevAya. enA kaSAyo paNa ghaNA ghaNA pAtaLA paDI gayA hoya. ApaNe brahmacaryanuM baLa rAkhavAnuM. viSayanI gAMTha enI meLe ja chedAyA kare. 2. draSTi, UkhaDe thI vijhate ! caTaNI jovAnI game ? lohI, mAMsa jovAnuM game ? caTaNI lIlA lohInI ne mAMsa, vi. lAla lohInuM ! DhAMkeluM mAMsa bhUlathI khAI javAya, paNa UghADuM ?! tema A deha e rezamI cAdarathI vIMTeluM hADa mAMsa ja che ne ? buddhi bahAranuM rUpALuM ja dekhADe che. jayAre jJAna ArapAra, sIdhuM ja dekhe, A ArapAra draSTi keLavavA mATe pUjayazrI dAdAzrIe zrI vijhananuM abhUta hathiyAra ApyuM che. prathama vijhane rUpALI strI nekeDa dekhAya. bIjA vijhane cAmaDI vagaranI strI dekhAya. trIjA vijhane peTa cIreluM hoya temAM AMtaraDAM, maLa 20 Page #12 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ mAMsa badhuM dekhAya, badho gaMdavADo dekhAya. pachI viSaya Ubho thAya ja nahIM ne ? chelle AtmA dekhAya. je rastethI dAdAzrI pAra nIkaLI gayA te ja rasto dekhADe che A viSaya jItavAno ! kRpALudeve kahyuM che ke, "dekhata bhUlI TaLe to sarva duHkhono kSaya thAya.' rUpALI strIne joIne koI puruSane kharAba bhAva thAya to temAM doSa kono ? strIno doSa kahevAya ? nA, AmAM strIno doSa jarA ya nathI. bhagavAna mahAvIranuM lAvaNya joIne ghaNI strIone moha utpanna thato hato. paNa bhagavAnane kazuM nA aDe ! strIonA upayoga upara khUba AdhAra che. strIoe kapaDA, dAgInA ke meka-apa evAM nA karavAM joIe ke jene jovAthI puruSone moha utpanna thAya ! ApaNo bhAva cokhkho joIe to kazuM bagaDe evuM nathI. bhagavAnane kezanuM locana zA mATe karavuM paDeluM ? A ja kAraNa ! strIo emanA rUpane joIne mohI nA paDe ! pahalAMnA vakhatamAM mAnamAM, kIrtimAM, paisAmAM badhe moha verAyelo hato. have to badho ja moha viSaya mATe ja khUMpI jAya che ! pachI zuM kahIe ? ekAvatArI thavuM hoya to viyamukta thavuM ja paDe. pratikramaNa zUTa oNna sAIDa karI chuTI javAya. mahIM rucinuM bIja aMdara paDeluM hoya te dhIme dhIme pakaDAya ne tenAthI chUTAya. sacinI gAMTha mahIM anaMta avatArathI paDelI che te kusaMga maLatAM ja phUTI nIkaLe. mATe brahmacArIono saMga ati ati Avazyaka che. | nizcayano sTra rAta dahADo TAITa karyA ja karavo. eka phero nizcaya jo tUTyo pachI khalAsa thaI jAya ! ApaNA nizcayane toDAve koNa ? ApaNo ja ahaMkAra. mUchita ahaMkAra. sTroMga abhiprAya eka ja rahevo joIe. emAM chUTachATa nA cAle. nizcaya sTroMga rahe te mATe ATaluM sAcavI lo. eka to koInI sAme draSTi nA maMDAvI joIe, zrI vijhana tarata vaparAvuM joIe ane strIno sparza nA thavo joIe. strI sparza jherIlo hoya ! aDyA hoya to e paramANuo AkhI rAta UMghavA nA de ! puNya Athame to brahmacaryanuM UDADI de, tyAM sTroMga nizcaya haze to ja te bacAvI zakaze. pUrvanI bhAvanA sTroMga hoya tenAM A bhave sTroMga nizcaya rahe ane Dagumagu thAya tenuM, pUrvenuM bhAvanA karI ja nathI. A to dekhAdekhI thayuM che. emAM bahu barakata Ave nahIM. tenAM karatAM paiNI javuM sAruM. Dagumagu nizcayavALAthI brahmacarya nA paLAya. vrate ya nA levAya. e pachI Take nahIM. brahmacaryamAM apavAda nA rakhAya. sTImaramAM apavAde kANuM rakhAya ? pola mAratA manane kaI rIte aTakAvAya ? nizcayathI. dareka kAryamAM nizcaya ja mukhya che. AtmA prApta thayA pachI nizcaya eka thaIne ahaMkAre karIne nathI karavAno paNa judA rahIne nizcaya mizracetana pAse karAvaDAvavAno ! kayAreka ja slipa thavAya to ? eka ja phera nadImAM DUbI javAya to ?! zAstrakAroe eka pheranA abrahmacaryane maraNa kahyuM che. maravuM bahetara paNa abrahmacarya maraNatulya gaNAya. karmono phorsa Ave tyAre AtmAnA guNonA vAkyo moTethI bolIne jAgRtimAM AvI javAnuM. e parAkrama kahevAya. svavIryane skurAyamAna karavuM enuM nAma parAkrama ! parAkrame pahoMcelAne pAchA vALavAnI koIne tAkata nathI ! brahmacarya mATe saMgabaLanI jarUra paDe. game teTalAM sTroMga nizcaya hoya paNa kusaMga tene UDADI mUke ! kusaMga ke satsaMga mANasanuM parivartana karI nAkhe ! 3. draDha nizcaya, pahoMcADe pAra ! nizcaya konuM nAma kahevAya ke game tevuM lazkara Ave paNa tene gAMThe nahIM ! nizcaya Dage ja nahIM ! bhAva ane nizcayamAM phera. bhAvamAMthI abhAva thAya paNa nizcaya phare nahIM. atyAre je brahmacarya paLAya che te pUrvabhavanAM karelAM nizcaya opana thAya che. jenAM jenAM nizcaya karyA che te prApta thAya ja. polo nizcaya hoya to TAImIMga badalAI jAya. nizcayane sinsiyara rahe to pAra utarAya. dararoja savAranA pahoramAM nakkI karI nAkhavuM ke "A jagatanI koIpaNa vinAzI cIja mane khapatI nathI.' tene pachI sinsiyara rahe. jeTalo sinsiyara teTalI ja jAgRti ! 22. Page #13 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ A sUtra tarIke pakaDI levuM. sinsiyArITI to TheTha mokSe laI jAya. sinsiyArITInuM phaLa morAliTImAM AvI jAya. saMpUrNa morala thaI gayo te paramAtmA thavAno. 'rIja poInTa' eTale chAparAnI Toca ! juvAnInuM 'rIja poInTa' hoya, e pasAra thaI gayuM ke jItyo. eTalo ja poInTa sacavAI javo joIe. tamArI brahmacarya mATenI draDha pratijJA hovI joIe. eTaluM ja nahIM paNa pratijJA pyaoNra, lAlaca vagaranI, ghaDabhAMja vagaranI hovI joIe. jenI dAnata cora, teno nizcaya kahevAya ja nahIM. kSatriyapaNu hoya tyAM dAnata cora nA hoya. jema viSanA pArakhAM nA karAya tema viSayanA pArakhAM nA karAya. ene to ugatAM ja dAbI devAya. udaya kone kahevAya ? saMDAsa lAgI hoya to chUTako thAya ? tevuM udayamAM hoya. sTroMga nizcaya hoya ke mAre viSayamAM lapasI ja nathI paDavuM, tema chatAM ya lapasI paDAya tene udaya kahevAya. sAvadhAnIpUrvaka rahevuM, pachI vAMdho nahIM Ave. pANImAM paDI gayo te bacavA mATe zuM nA kare ? tevuM brahmacarya mATe ghaTe. draDha nizcaya AgaLa tamAma aMtarAyo jhUkI paDe che ! brahmacarya pALavAno nizcaya hoya chatAM viSayanA vicAro pajave tyAre sAdhake zuM sAvadhAnI rAkhavI ? eka to A vicArone judA rAkhavAnA ane temAM bhaLavuM nahIM, sahI nA karavI. A pAchalo bharelo mAla che te phUTe che te jANI muMjhAvuM nahIM. temAM tanmayAkAra nA thavuM. moTuM pratikramaNa karI nAkhavuM. vicAro pharI vaLe to zuM vAMdho ? hoLImAM hAtha nA nAkhe tene zuM dAjhavAnuM ? game eTalA maccharAM pharatA hoya, tene UDADatAM vAra keTalI ? mAtra jAgatA rahevuM paDe ! jeTalI judApaNAnI jAgRti haze teTalo viSaya jItAze ! brahmacaryanuM pustaka khUba ja helpaphUla raheze ne tene roja vAMcavuM. 4. viSaya vicAro pajave tyAre... mana to pola mAravAmAM eksaparTa. tyAM khUba jAgRti rAkhI jItI 23 javAnuM che ! brahmacarya mATe suMdara pariNatio rahetI hoya tyAM mahIM buddhi pAchI vakIlAta karyA vagara rahe nahIM ke viSayamAM zuM vAMdho che ? Ane to tarata ukheDIne pheMkI devuM. nahIM to e pola nirAMte paiNAvI de ! mana jaDa che. tenI AgaLa kaLAthI kAma kADhI levuM. jema nAnA bAbAne laoNlI paoNpa ApIne paTAvIne dhAryuM karAvI laIe chIe, tema manane samajAvI paTAvIne viSayamAMthI brahmacarya mATe vAraMvAra vALI levuM. 5. na calAya, matatA kahyA pramANe ! be roTalI khAvAno niyama karyo hoya pachI mananA kahyA pramANe cAlIe eTale niyama tUTI jAya. eTale mana ghaNuM kahe, "khAva khAva' paNa nahIM. enuM mAnI laIe to pachI mana lapaTuM paDI jAya. mananA kahyA pramANe cAle tenuM brahmacarya Take ja nahIM. tethI kabIra sAhebe kaheluM, "manakA calatA tana cale, tAkA sarvasva jAya." mananA kahyA pramANe cAlanArAno bharoso nA karAya. enI laoN-buka ja judI hoya. svachaMda hoya. mana sAmAyika pratikramaNa karavA nA de, pola mAre. dhyeya pramANe cAlavuM, mananA kahyA pramANe nahIM ! manane ne dhyeyane zuM lAge vaLage ! sTroMga nizcayavALAne mana gAMThe nahIM. brahmacaryano nizcaya hoya paNa lagnanuM karma pAchaLa paDe to? paiNAvI nAkhe ne ! tyAM jJAnathI ja rAge paDe. jJAna to bhalabhalAM karmane patAvI pADe ! brahmacarya pALanArAnuM mAInDa vevarIMga hoya to ya emAM barakata nA Ave. mananuM mAnavAnuM ja nahIM. ApaNA abhiprAya pramANe cAlavAnuM. brahmacaryanI bAbatamAM to nAnAmAM nAnA avarodhomAM jAgRti rAkhavAnI. tyAM sTroMga rahevAnuM. eka paNa pola tyAM nA cAle. nahIM to dhyeyane uDADI mUkaze ! mana-buddhi-citta-ahaMkAra badhA ya dhyeyanI sAme paDyA hoya to ya sTroMga ja nA rahe to badhAMne TATuM paDavuM paDe. paNa siddhAMtane vaLagI rahevA prathamathI ja sajAgatA jarUrI che. ApaNe cetana ne mana jaDa, te mananuM te kaMI saMbhaLAtuM haze ?! 24 Page #14 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ mana samAdhAna khoLe, mATe samAdhAnI valaNa apanAvuM. paiNavAmAM zuM nukasAna che te vArevAre dekhADavuM. manano svabhAva virodhAbhAsI che. te brahmacaryanuM ya sukha ekasTrIma batADe ane viSayanuM paNa sukha ekasTrIma batADe. eno kaMI niyama nathI. tyAM ApaNe ApaNA siddhAMta pramANe manane vALavuM. mana pAchuM jIdI paNa nathI. vALo tema vaLI jAya tevuM che. mananA AdhAre thayelAM nizcayo ane jJAnanA AdhAre thayelAM nizcayomAM phera zuM ? jJAna karIne karelA nizcayo khUba suMdara hoya. mananI sAme jItavAnI tamAma cAvIo hoya. pAyA bahu majabUta hoya. mananuM tyAM nA cAle. brahmacArI Aptaputro kevA hovA joIe ? upadeza ApI zake ke nA paNa ApI zake teno vAMdho nahIM. paNa siddhAMtane vaLagI rahevuM paDe. bIjuM AptaputrothI koInI joDe kaSAya nA thavA joIe. badhAM joDe abhedatA hovI ghaTe, sAmo bheda pADa pADa kare tyAre ApaNe abhedatA ja khoLo. 6. "pote' potAne vaDhavo ! 'ApaNe ApaNI jAtane sadAya paMpALa paMpALa karI che. bhayaMkara bhUlo kare to ya chAvara chAvara karIe ene ! pachI zuM dazA thAya ?! koI dahADo 'ApaNe' ApaNI jAtane TaiDakAvI che ? prakRtinA aTakaNa svarUpe thayelA viSayadoSane kADhavA to kaMI keTaluM ya ene ThapakAravuM paDe ! raDAvavuM paDe ! judA rahIne pote ja potAnI jAtane TaiDakAvI nAkhIe to enuM rAge paDI jAya ne ?! "ApaNe" jAta joDe bhegA rahIne eTale ke eka thaIne kAma karIe to ApaNane paNa bhogavavAnuM Ave ane judA rahIne kAma laIe to bhogavavAnuM nA Ave. parama pUjya dAdAzrIe jAta joDe judA paDavA mATe khUba ja suMdara vividha prayogo darzAvyA che. emAM ya "arIsA sAmAyika' eTale ke arIsAmAM joIne jAta joDe vAtacIta karavAno prayoga, prakRtine ThapakAravI I. I. 7. pastAvA sahitanAM pratikramaNo ! eka vakhata bIja paDyuM te rUpakamAM Ave ja. paNa e jAma thaI jAya tyAM sudhI, maratA pahelAM ochuM hatuM ke cokhkhuM thaI jAya. tethI dAdAzrI viSayadoSavALAne ravivAre upavAsa karIne, Akho vakhata pratikramaNa karI doSane dho dho karavAnI AjJA ApatA jenAthI ochuM thaI jAya ! viSaya vikAra saMbaMdhI doSonuM sAmAyika, pratikramaNa kevI rIte karavAnuM ? sAmAyikamAM besIne atyAra sudhI je je doSo thayA che tene jovAnAM, tenAM pratikramaNa karavAnAM ane bhaviSyamAM bhUla nahIM thAya evo nizcaya karavAno ! sAmAyikamAM pharI pharI enA e ja doSo dekhAyA kare to zuM karavuM? pharI pharI dekhAya tyAM sudhI pratikramaNa karye rAkhavAnAM. enI kSamA mAMgavAnI, eno pastAvo karavAno. Ama khuba kara kara karavAthI viSaya gAMTha ogaLatI jAya. je je ogALavuM hoya te te A rIte ogaLI zake che ! ahIM je sAmAyiko thAya che temAM gAMTho ogaLe che. viSayamAM sukhabuddhi kone thAya che? ahaMkArane. pharI pharI enI eja vastu ApavAmAM Ave to pAchuM temAMthI ja duHkha buddhi UbhI thaI jAya ! mATe e pudgala che, puraNa-galana che. viSayanuM sAyansa zuM che? jema lohacuMbaka AgaLa TAMkaNI AkarSAya tema mahIM viSayanA paramANuMonuM AkarSaNa sAmenI vyaktinA viSayanA paramANuo joDe thAya che. A mAtra paramANuonuM ja AkarSaNa che ne pote to AnAthI vegaLo zuddhAtmA ja che evuM lakSamAM rahe to kaMI ja aDe ema nathI. paNa evI jAgRti ekajhekTalI kone rahe ? viSayanI gAMTha phUTe ne emAM ekAgratA thaI jAya, tene viSaya kahyo. ekAgratA nA thaI to tene viSaya nA kahevAya. e gAMTha jenI ogaLI gaI, tene pachI TAMkaNI ne lohacuMbakano saMbaMdha ja nA rahyo. viSaya sthULa svabhAvI che ne AtmA sUkSma svabhAvI che evI jAgRti rahe nahIM ne ! emAM to jJAnInuM ja kAma. A gAMTho e te AvaraNa che ! A gAMTho che tyAM sudhI AtmAno svAda cAkhavA nA maLe. jenA vadhAre vicAro Ave, jyAM draSTi vadhu ne vadhu kheMcAya tyAM gAMTha moTI che. akrama mArgamAM [26 Page #15 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ sAmAyikanuM khUba ja mahatva pUjyazrIe ApyuM che. ahIM to AtmasvarUpa thaIne doSone joyA karavAnuM. tenAthI doSo ogaLe e eka phAyado ne bIjuM pote jJAtA-draSTA padamAM rahyo eTale AtmAmAM rahevAnuM phaLa maLe ! AnaMda AnaMda thaI jAya ! sAmAyikamAM tamAma prakAranA doSone mukIne tenAthI mukta thaI zakAya che ! e sivAya ATalI badhI gAMTho ogaLI zake ema nathI. akramanI A sAmAyika sahelI, saraLa ane rokaDuM phaLa ApanArI che ! samuhamAM karelI sAmAyika khUba ja prabhAvazALI hoya che ! pUjya dAdAzrI sAmAyika karavA khUba bhAra mUkatA. viSaya joItA nA hoya, paNa viSayo kaMI choDe ? khADAmAM kone paDavuM hoya ? chatAM khADo sAmo Ave to te kaMI choDe ? khADAthI bacavA zuM karavuM ? dararoja eka kalAka dAdA pAse mAMgaNI karavI ke, "he dAdA, mane brahmacaryanI zakti Apo.' eTale zakti maLI jAya ne sAthe sAthe pratikramaNe ya thaI jAya. pachI enI ciMtA ke bhAra magaja upara nahIM rAkhavAno. khADAmAM paDyo ke tarata sAmAyika karI dhoI nAkhavAnuM. jJAnIo khADAmAM paDI javAya teno vAMdho nathI letA, paNa teno upAya karaje. sAmAyika e ja ekameva upAya che ! 8. sparza sukhanI bhrAmaka mAnyatA ! strInA aMgone jovAnAM sukha che, e mAnyatA sAva khoTI che ! naryo gaMdavADo ja che ! paNa A to roMga biliphavALuM mana che te e tarapha kheMcI jAya che. paNa AjanuM jJAna aTakAve che emAMthI ! so vakhata roMga bilIphane sAcI mAnI to so vakhata ene bhAMgavI paDe. strInA sparza samaye jAgRti rahetI nathI ne sukha bhogavAI jAya ane strI sparza paNa eTalo ja poIjhanasa hoya che. e eTalo badho poIjhanasa hoya che ke mana-buddhi-cittaahaMkAra, badhAM ja upara AvaraNa pharI vaLe ! bebhAna karI nAkhe ! mUchita ! te ghaDIe jAnavara ja karI nAkhe ! dArU pIdhA pachI mUrNita thAya temAM paNa dArU pIdhA pachI bebhAna thatAM thatAM to aDadho kalAka ke kalAka nIkaLI jAya ane A to aDatAMnI sAthe ja IlekTrisiTInI jema asara karI nAkhe ne mahIM viSaya caDhI jAya ! vAra ja nahIM ! dAdAzrI nIja anubhava kahe che, 'nAnapaNamAM ja aDatAMnI sAthe mahIM gabharAmaNa thaI gayelI ke "arere ! A zuM thaI jAya che ? A to InsAnamAMthI hevAna thaI javAya che ! AnI pachI 'no limiTa" ! ame to anaMta avatAranA brahmacaryanA rAgI eTale A game nahIM, paNa nA chUTake thayeluM. thoDo ghaNo saMsAra bhogavyo paNa arucipUrvaka, prArabdhavazAt A te kaMI zobhatuM haze ?!" sparza sukha vakhate zuM karavuM? A roMga bilIpha che, tevuM satata TakoravuM ane sparza jhera jevo lAgavo joIe. paNa A to pUrvabhavanI mAnyatA ke AmAM sukha che enA AdhAre sukha lAge che ! mATe have e mAnyatAne uDADavAnI che ! pachI jJAnanI parAkASTAe sparza sahaja lAge. strImAM doSa nathI ApaNI mAnyatAno doSa che ! viSayamAM sukha che e bilIpha kevI rIte besI gaI ? lokasaMjJAthI. lokonA kahevAthI. mATe A mAtra sAyakolojIkala IphekTa che. draSTi kheMcAvAnuM sAyansa zuM che ? jyAM pUrvabhavano kaMIka hisAba che tyAM draSTi kheMcAya che. draSTi kheMcAIne temAM AkarSaNa ne viSayanI ramaNatA thaI ke paramANuonI jabarajasta asaro thavA mAMDe. pachI kheMcANa ne AkarSaNa vadhavA mAMDe. enuM pIka poInTa Ave pachI vikarSaNa kudaratI rIte thavA ja mAMDe. AkarSaNa zaru thayuM tyArathI vikarSaNanAM kAraNo sevAvAM cAlu thaI gayAM gaNAya. AvuM che paramANuonuM eTrekazana (AkarSaNa) ! paramANunA AkarSaNa kAma kare badhuM. AkarSaNa pachI sattA potAnI rahI ja nahIM kazI. pachI vikarSaNa thAya ja. chUTako ja nathI. e paramANuo pote ja vikarSaNa karAvIne chUTAM pADe ! eno amala phaLa ApIne ! mana ane citta viSayamAM khUba bhAga bhajave che. citta vArevAre tyAM ja ramaNatA kare. pachI enuM galana thayA vinA nA ja rahe. eka phero viSayane aDyo te pachI rAtadA'Do enA e ja svapnA Ave eTalI badhI to pakaDa Ave che citta upara viSayanI ! viSayanA vicAro Ave che te mananI graMthImAMthI. ene ane cittane kaMI levAdevA nathI. citta jo viSayane sparzva to kaMI keTalAMya kALa sudhI 27 Page #16 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ dhyAnamAM sthiratA nA rahe. dAdAzrI kahe che ke amAruM citta kevuM haze ke koI samaya sthAnamAMthI khasyuM ja nathI !!! tethI ja sto dAdAnI AMkhomAM sadAya vItarAgamaya prema ne karuNA ja dekhAya ! cittavRttio jyAM jyAM bhaTake tyAM AtmAne bhaTakavuM paDe ! cittavRttio AvatA bhavane mATe javA AvavAno nakazo dore che. citta e mizracetana che. mATe bhaTakAvanAruM che, jyAM jyAM coMTe tyAM, tyAM ! have jyAM jAya tyAM turta ja pratikramaNathI dhoI nAkhe to te viSaya doSa thayelo gaNAto nathI. cittane DagAve te badhAM ja viSaya. AtmAnI bahAra cittane jakaDI rAkhe te badhAM ja viSaya. vicAranI nahIM paNa cittanI bhAMjagaDa moTI che ! manamAM viSayanA vicAro game teTalA Ave, tene khaseDa khaseDa karo. tenI joDe vAtocIto karo, te vAMdho nahIM Ave. paNa citta bahAra javuM ja nA joIe. pUrve je paryAyonuM vadana khUba karyuM hoya tyAM citta atyAre vadhAre jAya. tyAM coMTI rahe, ene aTakaNa kahyuM. ene judu rAkhIne kahevuM, 'tuM zeya ne huM jJAtA' enAthI tarata mukta thaI jaze. A citta phekacara thavAthI viSayamAM lapaTAyo che jenuM phaLa jAnavaragati ! 9. phAIlo sAme kaDakAI ! strI jo mohanI jALa nAkhe to enAthI kevI rIte bacavuM ? jyAM phasAmaNa hoya to tyAM ApaNe draSTi ja mAMDavI nahIM. tema ja AMkhe AMkha nA milAvavI. bhegA ja nA thavuM. keTalIka vAra evA saMjogomAM mUkAI javAya ke ApaNI oLakhANavALA ke sagAM-sabaMdhInI ja kharAba draSTi hoya to tyAM zuM karavuM ? jANe kaMI ApaNane enA bhAvonI kaMI khabara ja nathI, 'no rIsponsa' ema rAkhavuM ne nIcuM joIne bane teTaluM tene TALavuM ! kheMcANamAM taNAvuM nahIM. AMkha kheMcAya tyAMthI AghA rahevuM. nikAcita vikArI mAlavALo, satsaMgamAM ya lapase te bhayaMkara khoTa khAya. eNe jJAnIne pUchIne cokhkhuM karI levuM. 'phAIla" khulI enuM nAma kahevAya ke thoDI ja vAramAM kheMcAI javAya. bhUtanI peTha vaLagI jAya ! 'phAIla' sAmI Ave ke mahIM kUdAkUda karI mUke ! upara jAya, nIce jAya, ...... mahIM caMcaLatA UbhI thaI jAya ! akAraNa mukha para lAlI AvI jAya, hasuM hasuM thaI jAya ne enI draSTi 'kyAM phare che te khoLavAmAM ja potAnI draSTi khovAI jAya ! ane 'phAIla' gerahAjara hoya ne yAda Ave che to bahu bhAre jokhama, hAjarImAM asara kare tenA karatAM ! tyAre to ApaNI lagAma ja nA rahe. mana caMcaLa thaI jAya ne duHkha thAya. kRpALudeve 'lAkaDAnI putaLI che ema gaNaje', kahyuM che. saMDAsa karatI strIne jue to tyAM citta pharI jAya ? evuM goThavI devuM. agara to 'oya mAruM, joya mAruM" kare to ya jatuM rahe. agni ane 'phAIla' beu sarakhAM. dajhADI ne mArI nAkhe. aDatA ja dajhADe. 'phAIla' AgaLa ApaNe kaDaka AMkhathI ja rahevuM. ene kharAba lAge apamAna thAya evuM vartavuM. tyAM bahu bhayaMkara jokhama rahyuM. phAIla upara tiraskAra Ave to ya teno vAMdho nahIM. teno upAya che. paNa tiraskAra nA Ave to samajI javuM ke hajI aMdara pola che, dAnatacora che ! je 'phAIla" joDe bahu cIkaNuM thaI gayuM hoya tyAM nhoya mArI, nhoya mArI' karIne ghaNA ghaNA pratikramaNa karavA. rUbarUmAM maLe to apamAna karI devuM. eTale e pharI pharake nahIM. ane ApaNe koInA mATe 'phAIla" thaI paDyA hoya to to bahu saheluM che tyAMthI chUTavAnuM. jarA apamAna karIe ke gAMDuM bolIe to e choDI de ApaNane. tyAM ApaNe samabhAve nikAla karavuM kahIne du:kha nA thAya evuM vartavA jAo to vadhAre viSayamAM bagaDe beunuM. tyAM samabhAve nikAla eTale ene apamAna karIne toDI nAkhIe te ! ApaNuM moLuM haze tyAM sudhI e cItara cItara karaze. mATe sAmenAnuM citarAmaNa mULathI ja baMdha thaI jAya tenA mATe ApaNe ja kaDaka thaI ApaNA mATe abhAva ene thaI jAya, evuM vartana ne vANI goThavI devA, athavA mitro joDe kahevaDAvavuM ke tArA jevI bIjI be traNane promIsa kareluM che. ApaNane koInA mATe viSayanA vicAra vAraMvAra Ava Ava kare eTale pachI sAmenAne paNa enI 29 30 Page #17 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ asara paDe ne tene paNa vicAro cAlu thaI ja jAya. 10. viSayI vartata ? to DisamIsa ! satsaMgamAM kyAMya draSTi nA bagaDavI joIe. draSTi bagaDe to pratikramaNa karIne UDADI mUkavAnuM, to ya cAle. paNa ahIM vartanamAM to nA ja AvavuM joIe. evuM je koIne thAya te nA ja calAvI levAya. tene pachI DisamIsa karavA paDe. pharI kyAre ya satsaMgamAM pesavAnuM nahIM. 'dharma kSetre kRtam pApam, vrajalepam bhaviSyati." dharmakSetramAM kareluM pApa vrajalepa jevuM hoya che, je narke ja laI jAya ! ahIM pAzavatA karavI enA karatAM paraNI javuM sAruM. hakkanuM to kahevAya. brahmacaryavALo eka ja phera lapasyo ke khalAsa thaI gayo ! saMyoga sabaMdha thayo te ApaghAta thayA barAbara che. enuM bahu jokhama. e nA ja cAle. bIjI badhI bhUlo calAvAya paNa A nA calAvIe. tyAM dAdAnI najara bahu ja kaDaka thaI jAya, AMkho lAla ja hoya tenI para. tethI brahmacArIo pAse be niyamo lakhAvelA eka to viSaya saMyoga thAya to jAte ja ahIM satsaMga choDI kAyama dUra jatA rahevuM ane bIjuM pUjya dAdAzrInI hAjarImAM koIthI jhokAM nA khavAya. jhokAM khAya teNe jAte ja rUma choDI jatuM rahevuM. 11. sephasAIDa sudhInI vADa. brahmacarya pALavA ATalAM kAraNo to hovAM joIe. eka to ApaNuM A jJAna hovuM joIe. bIju brahmacArIonuM saMgabaLa joIe. zaherathI dUra raheThANa joIe. bahArano kusaMga aDavo nA joIe. jene dAdAnuM nididhyAsana niraMtara rahe ene kusaMga aDe ja nahIM ! parama pUjya dAdAzrI potAnA siddhAMta mATe zuM kahe che 'ApaNe kaMI peDhI kADhavA ochA AvyA chIe ? kaMI gAdI sthApavA AvyA chIe ? A to ApaNe nikAla karavA mATe AvyA chIe." 12, titikSAtAM tape kevaLo mata-deha ! titikSA eTale zuM ? ghAsa ke parALamAM sUvAnuM thAya, kAMkarA kheMcatA hoya, te ghaDIe ghara yAda Ave to te titikSA nA kahevAya. kAMkarA kheMce te ya sarasa lAgavuM joIe. rAtre be vAge smazAnamAM mUkI Ave to zuM thAya ? cittA joIne ? bhaDakATa pesI jAya ? tAva caDhI jAya ? manobaLa mokSamArgamAM jabarajasta joIe ! game tevA vikaTa saMyogomAM ya 'have mAruM zuM thaze ?" evuM kyAre ya nA thAya. sthiratAthI pAra nIkaLI jAya. parama pUjya dAdAzrI kahe che ke meM mArI jiMdagImAM eka paNa upavAsa nahIM karelo ! pitta prakRti eTale emanAthI upavAsa nA thAya. covIyAra, kaMdamULa tyAga, uNodarI tapa vi. kareluM. upavAsathI jAgRti vadhe mahIM kacaro jAmI gayo hoya te baLI jAya. vANI ya ochI thAya. ne brahmacArIoe aThavADiyAmAM eka divasa upavAsa karavo. jJAnIo uNodarI tapane vadhu mahatva Ape. dAdAzrIe kAyama uNodarI kareluM. uNodarI eTale peTane aDadhuM khAlI rAkhavuM. enAthI jAgRti khUba vadhe. vacce vacce phAkA mAravAnA nA hoya. khorAkathI mahIM meNo caDhe, dArU thAya. carabIvALo, mIThAI, taLelo khorAka nA levAya. ApaNAM roTalI-dALa-bhAta-zAka e Adarza khorAka gaNAya. UMdhe ya khUba ochI hoya. ghI, telathI mAMsa vadhe ne mAMsa vadhe eTale vIrya vadhe. nAnA chokarAMone magasa ke zIyALu pAka nA khavaDAvAya. pachI moTAM thatAM khUba ja vikArI thaI jaze ! mA-bApa ja bagADe emane ! nahAvAthI ya viSaya jAgRta thaI jAya. tethI spaMja karI le. mAMdA mANasane viSaya sAMbhare ? traNa dahADAno bhUkhyo hoya tene viSaya sAMbhare ? A kaMdamULa khAvAthI brahmacarya Take nahIM. mATe e nA khavAya. 13. ta ho asAra, pudgalasAra ! brahmacarya e pudgala sAra che. khorAkano sAra zuM ? vIrya. mATe brahmacarya e mokSamArgano AdhAra che. jJAna sAthe brahmacarya hoya to sukhano pAra nathI. lokasAra e mokSa ane pudgalasAra e vIrya che. moMghAmAM moMghI vastu vIrya che. ene kema karIne maphatamAM veDaphAya ? vIrya urdhvagAmI thAya evA bhAva 32 Page #18 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ rAkhavA joIe. akramajJAna vIryanuM urdhvagamana karAvanAruM che ! vIryane ajJAna adhogAmI karAve ne jJAna urdhvagAmI karAve ! che to banne rileTIva. paNa vIryanAM paramANuo sUkSmarUpe ojasamAM pariNAma pAme che, pachI adhogAmI thatuM nathI. vIrya kAM to saMsArarUpe pariName kAM to aizvaryarUpe ! sAdhakane vyavahAramAM rIvolyuzana pharatAM aTake che. enuM zuM kAraNa ? AtmavIrya pragaTa thatuM nathI. tethI mana vyavahAra sahana karavAnI zakti dharAvatuM nathI. eTale bhAgeDu bane che. tenA karatA AtmAmAM pesI javA jevuM. AtmavIryano abhAva eTale vyavahAranuM solyuzana nA karI zake. AtmavIrya kyAre pragaTa thAya ? Atma sivAya bIje kyAMya rUci nA rahe. duniyAnI koI cIja lalacAvI nA zake tyAre. vIrya urdhvagamana thAya tenAM lakSaNo zuM ? moDhAM upara tejI Ave. brahmacaryanuM nura jhaLake ! vANI, vartana, mIThuM bane, manobaLa khUba vadhe ! svapnadoSanuM zuM kAraNa ? TAMkI chalakAIne ubharAya enA jevuM. khorAkano kaMTrola kare to svapnadoSa nA thAya. emAM ya rAtanA khorAka nA levo joIe. uNodarI cA-kophI nA le vi. chatAM ya svapnadoSane evo guno nathI gaNyo. paNa jANI joIne nA karAya. e bhayaMkara guno che. ApaghAta kahevAya. jANI joIne DiscArjanI chUTa nA hoya. kUvAmAM jANI joIne koI paDe ? sAmAnya rIte evuM laukikamAM pracalita che ke vIryanuM galana e pudgala svabhAva ja che. e lIkeja nathI. jJAnIonI jJAnadraSTi zuM kahe che ke, ApaNI draSTi bagaDI ke vicAro bagaDyA eTale vIryano amuka bhAga 'ekjhosTa' thaI gayo kahevAya. pachI te DiscArja thayA kare. svapnadoSane gunegAra nA gaNAya. paNa chatAM ya savAranA enuM pratikramaNa karavuM paDe. pastAvo karavo paDe. dAdAnI pAMca AjJA pALe tene viSaya-vikAra thAya evuM nathI. bAhya upAyomAM upavAsa, AMbela, zarIrane hRSTapuSTa nA thavA devuM, TADha taDakAne khamI zake ane sAdo sAtvika AhAra le. vIrya urdhvagAmI thAya te jJAna dhAraNa karI zake, jaina zAstramAM nava vADanA niyamo ApyA 33 che brahmacArIone mATe. nirogI viSayI nA hoya. pUrepUrA nirogI to tIrthaMkaro ja hoya. AtmajJAnanI apekSAe vicAro sArA khoTA hotA nathI. banneva zeya che. tene jJAtA rahIne joyA kare to te pUrAM thAya che. paNa temAM tanmayAkAra thaI jAya to karma jhamavA mAMDyuM. paNa turta ja pratikramaNa karI le to e bhUMsAI jAya. jo eno kALa pAke ne avidha pUrI thaI jAya to baMdha paDe, paNa te pahelAM pratikramaNathI bhUMsI nAkhe to baMdha nA paDe. viSayanI bAbatamAM indriyo paranI IphekTa ane mana banne juduM paNa hoI zake. sthULa viSaya bhogavatAM pahelAM mana viSaya bhogave ke nA paNa bhogave. cittathI bhogavavuM eTale taraMgothI, philmathI bhogavavuM. cittathI ke manathI bhogave tene bhogavyuM kahevAya. manathI maMthanamAM jatuM rahyuM eTale sAra badho marI jAya. te mareluM paDI raheze ne te pachI DiscArja thavAnuM ja. viSayanA vicAramAM tanmayAkAra thayo e ja maMthana. tanmayAkAra nA thAya to pAra utarI gayo brahmacaryanA sAyansamAM ! maMthana thavA mAMDe ke tarta ja pratikramaNa karI levuM. pratikramaNanuM TAImIMga sAcavavuM agatyanuM che ! jo thoDoka vadhu TAIma jato rahe to pachI maMthana thaI ja jAya. mATe vicAra AvatAM nI sAthe ja, A~na dhI momenTa pratikramaNa thaI javuM joIe. vicAra AgaLane pratikramaNa pAchaLa ja thavuM joIe. jhera pIdhuM paNa gaLA nIce utare e pahelAM ja jo ulTI karI nAkhe to bace ! tema A pratikramaNa tarata ja thavuM ghaTe. sheja jo aTakI gayo vicAromAM to pachI maMthana zarU thaI jAya. pachI skhalana thayA vinA nA rahe. aDadho kalAka UMdho cAlato hoya paNa jAgRta thayo ke pratikramaNathI badhuM dhoI nAkhI zake ! evuM gajabanuM che A akrama vijJAna !!! 14. brahmacarya pamADe, brahmAMDano AnaMda ! brahmacaryamAM apAra AnaMda Ave. bIjA kazAmAM kyAre ya cAkhyo nA hoya evo AnaMda utpanna thaI jAya ! mahA mahA puNyAtmAne prApta thAya brahmacarya ! sAcuM brahmacarya jJAnInI AjJApUrvakanuM hovuM ghaTe. ane bhUla thAya to temanI pAse mAphI mAgavAnI. saMpUrNa brahmacaryamAM Ave tenI 34 Page #19 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ anaMta avatAranI badhI ja khoTa pUrI thaI gaI gaNAya. nirbhaya thAyane brahmacaryanuM teja to sAmI bhIMta upara paDe ! jene zuddhAtmAno vaibhava joIto hoya teNe bahmacarya pALavuM Avazyaka che. jJAnamAM khUba madada kare e ! brahmacarya e mahAvrata che enAthI AtmAne spezyala anubhava thAya ! brahmacarya vrata lIdhA pachI toDavuM e bhayaMkara doSa lAge. mAryo ja jAya e. vrata ApanAra nimittane paNa doSa lAge. mATe enA mATe bahu UtAvaLa karavAnI jarUra nahIM. brahmacaryanuM aMtima phaLa che sarvasaMga parityAga ! eka ja mANasa sAco hoya to jagata kalyANa karI zake. jagata kalyANa vadhu kyAre thAya ? tyAgamudrA hoya tyAre vadhAre thAya. grahasthamudrAmAM jagatanuM kalyANa vadhu thAya nahIM. upalaka badhuM thAya. paNa aMdarakhAne badhI pablIka nA pAme. upalakatAmAM badho moTo moTo varga pAmI jAya, paNa pablIka nA pAme. tyAga pAcho ApaNo, ahaMkAra vagarano joIe ! akramanuM cAritra to bahu UMcuM kahevAya ! gajabanuM sukha varte. 'huM zuddhAtmA chuM' e niraMtara lakSamAM rahe, e mahAnamAM mahAna brahmacarya. brahmamAM caryA enuM nAma riyala brahmacarya. viSayamAMthI chUTyo kyAre kahevAya ? viSaya sabaMdhI koI paNa vicAra nA Ave, draSTi nA kheMcAya tyAre. 15. viSaya sAme, vijJAtatI jAgRti ! AkarSaNa thAya teno vAMdho nathI, paNa temAM coMTyo, tanmayAkAra thayo te vAMdhAjanaka che. AkarSaNa thAya tenI sAme ApaNo virodha e ja tanmayAkAra nA thavAnI vRtti. tanmayAkAra thayA eTale gothuM khAI gayA jANavuM. koI jANI joIne lapasI paDe ? cIkaNI mATI AgaLathI utaratAM kevAM paganAM AMgaLA dabAvIne cAle che ? paDavAnA virodhamAM ApaNe keTalA badhA hoIe chIe ? eka jaNa pUjyazrIne pUche ke draSTi paDatAM ja mahIM caMcaLa pariNAma 35 UbhAM thaI jAya che, tyAM zuM karavuM ? tene pUjyazrI vijJAna Ape che, draSTi e 'ApaNA'thI judI vastu che. to pachI draSTi paDe temAM ApaNane zuM thayuM ? ApaNe nA coMTIye to draSTi zuM kare ? hoLIne jovAthI AMkha dAjhe kharI ? 'potAnA' mahIMnA vAMke AkarSaNa thAya che. banne draSTi eTa e TAIma rAkhavAnI. riyalamAM zuddhAtmA jovAnA ne rileTIvamAM zrI vijhana jovAnuM. draSTi malIna thAya ke tarata ja dAdAe ApelA jJAnanA upAyo karI tarata nirmaLa karI nAkhavI.mahIM phorsaphulI pAMca-dasa vakhata bolI nAkhIe ke, 'huM zuddhAtmA chuM.... to ya pAchuM ThekANe AvI jAya. athavA 'dAdA bhagavAna jema huM nirvikArI chuM, nirvikArI ' bolavuM. Ano upayoga karavo A to vijJAna che. tarata phaLa ApanAruM che. nahIM to gAphela rahyA to UDADI mUke badhuM ! jo eka kalAka koI paNa strI saMbaMdhI viSayI dhyAna rahe to AvatA bhave e mA thAya, vAIpha thAya ! mATe ceto. mATe viSayano vicAra dhyAnarUpa nA thavo joIe. enA e ja vicAramAM ramaNatA karavI enuM nAma dhyAnarUpa. tene ukhADIne pheMkI devAnuM. vicArone jovAthI ja gAMTho ogaLe, pudgala zuddha thaI jAya. strIne jotAM ja mahIM spaMdana Ave to tenuM tarata pratikramaNa karavuM. jAgRti jarAka maMda paDI ke viSaya pesI ja jAya. enuM AvaraNa AvI ja jAya ! eka phero slipa thayA, pachI slipa nahIM thavAnI zakti ghasAI jAya. te pAchuM slipa kare eTale e lapaTI paDI jAya. asaMyama thayo ke lapaTuM paDI jAya. saMyama vadhaghaTa thAya teno vAMdho nahIM paNa saMyama tUTI jAya ke pachI thaI rahyuM ! brahmacaryanA AgrahI thavAnI chUTa, paNa brahmacaryanA durAgrahI nA thavAya. aMte to AtmarUpa thavAnuM che. brahmacaryanA nimitte kaSAya thaI jAya te nA cAle. AtmAmAM rahevAnuM ke brahmacaryamAM ? 36 Page #20 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ brahmacarya vyavahArane AdhIna che. nizcaya to brahmacArI ja che ne ? AtmA to sadA brahmacArI ja che ne !! 16. lapasatArAMone, UThADI doDAve.... viSayanA gunAnuM zuM phaLa che e prathama jANavuM joIe. enI samaja paDe to ja e gunAmAMthI aTake. jJAnIne je vaLagI rahyo, te chUTe eka dahADo. jene dAdAnuM nididhyAsana rahe tenAM tamAma tALAM khule che. dAdAnA nididhyAsanuM sAkSAt phaLa maLe che ! jagata kalyANano nimitta banavAno jeNe bhekha lIdho che ene jagatamAM koNa AMtarI zake ? devaloko ya puSpavRSTi kare che. A mArgamAM AgaLa vadhyA che tyAMthI pUrNAhuti thaI zake ! tame cokhkhA cho to tamAruM koI nAma denAruM nathI. 17. aMtima avatAramAM ya brahmacarya to Avazyaka ! mokSa ane brahmacaryane zuM lAge vaLage ? ghaNu badhuM lAge vaLage. brahmacarya vagara AtmAno anubhava ja khabara nA paDe. A sukha Ave che te AtmAnuM che ke pudgalanuM che, e khabara ja nA paDe ne ! have keTalAMya abrahmacArI mokSe gayelA. tyAM zuM hoya ke brahmacarya mATe pojhITIva hovo joIe. nigeTIvavALAne koI dahADo AtmA prApta nA thAya. paraNIne brahmacarya pALe te UMcu ke nA-paraNIne pALe te ? jJAnIoe paraNIne pALe tene UMcuM kahyuM ! chatAM mokSe janArAone chellA dasa paMdara varSa to sarvasaMga parityAga vartavuM ja joIe. brahmacarya vinA to mokSe javAya ja nahIM ! brahmacaryamAM koIne dabANa nA karAya. brahmacarya vrata ekadama koIne apAya nahIM. ekAda varSa mATe ApI dhIme dhIme vadhAya. tamAro nizcaya ne amAruM vacanabaLa viSayane UDADe. aMtarAyo toDI nAkhe. akrama mArgamAM Azrama jevuM nA hoya. paNa brahmacArIo thayA temanA mATe joIe. brahmacArIonA saMgamAM rahevuM paDe. 37 dAdAzrI potAnA viSe kahe che, "amAre brahmacarya pALavAnuM nA hoya. amane to te varte, viSaya jevI vastu kaMI che evuM yAde ya nA Ave. zarIramAM e paramANu ja nA hoya ne ! ane pote ya pUrvabhavothI mAla khAlI karatAM karatAM AvelA. eTale nAnapaNathI ja viSayamAM ruci nahIM. pahelAMnA jamAnAmAM bALalagna thatAM. tethI bIje kyAM ya draSTi bagaDavAno prazna ja nA rahe ne !! jIvana kevuM suMdara ne pavitra jAya ? enI asara bALako para kevI suMdara paDe. chokarAMo paNa saMskArI ne ekadhArAM pAke ! paraNavAmAM ATalAM badho jokhamo che. chatAM ya koDathI ghoDe caDhIne paiNe che e ja zuM ajAyabI nathI ?! enuM kAraNa e ke e jANato ja nathI enAM pariNAmone ! thoDuMka duHkha paNa saravALe to sukha ja che evI mAnyatAnA AdhAre ja badhAM paraNe che. jene pudgalasAra (brahmacarya) ane adhyAtmasAra (zuddhAtmA) beu prApta thaI gayo enuM to thaI gayuM kalyANa ja ne ! brahmacarya AtmAnA svAbhAvika guNo pragaTa thavA de, AtmAnubhava thavA de, AtmAnA guNono anubhava thavA de. brahmacarya ane paraphekTa vyavahAra beu bheguM thAya to brahmacArIo jagatanuM kalyANa karavAmAM khUba ja hitakArI thaI zake. dAdAzrIe potAno vyavahAra kevo che e jaNAvatAM kahyuM che, 'eka trADa ame pADIe ke mahAtmAonA roga turta ja nIkaLI jAya. emano hAtha aDe ne sAmAnuM kAma thaI jAya. evI badhI siddhio pragaTe.' parama pUjya dAdAzrI kahe che ke tamAro nizcaya ne amAruM vacanabaLa beu bheguM thAya to 'vyavasthita' A pheraphAra thAya ! ahIM ja eka apavAda sarjAya che ! brahmacArIone pAMtrIsa varSa sudhI viSayanI sAme satata sajAga rahevuM paDe. nahIM to mohanuM vAtAvaraNa 'rIja poInTa' para Ave tyAre ene 38 Page #21 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ UDADI mUke ! tyAre jJAna bIjane ya UDADI mUke !!! paNa AvatA bhavamAM A jJAna pAchuM sahAyarUpa thAya. paraNAvAnI nA pADI tethI kaMI aMtarAyakarma baMdhAya ? muMbaI jaIe tethI karIne kaMI bIjo gAmo joDe ochAM aMtarAya pADyA kahevAya ?! brahmacarya pALe tenAthI karma baMdhAya ? ajJAnadazAmAM brahmacarya pALavAthI puNya baMdhAya ne abrahmacaryathI, pApa baMdhAya. paNa akramajJAnathI to karma ja nA baMdhAya. banneva DiscArja gaNAya. AmAM jJAnInI AjJAthI pALIe chIe, kartA thaIne, eTaluM cArja che. brahmacarya ITaselpha DiscArja che, paNa tenI pAchaLa je bhAva che te 'cArja) gaNAya. AjJA pALavA puratuM cArja gaNAya. enuM phaLa samyak puNya maLe. jenAthI sImaMdhara svAmI pAse paDI rahevAnI savalato saraLatAthI maLe. A badhI vaijJAnika zodhakhoLo che dAdAnI ! saMpUjaya dAdAzrI brahmacaryanI majabUtI mATe dara ravivAre saMpUrNa upavAsa pALavAno niyama ApatA, jenAthI viSayano sAmAvALiyo thAya. ne brahmacaryamAM khUba puSTi maLe. jene lakSmI ke viSaya saMbaMdhI vicAra ja nA Ave, dehathI chUTo rahe tene jagata bhagavAna kahyA vinA nahIM rahe !!! 18. dAdA Ape puSTi, AptaputrIone ! parama pUjaya dAdAzrIe bahenone puSTi ApI brahmacaryanA mArge vALI che.temanA hAthe AptaputrIonuM ghaDatara thayeluM che. sArAM kapaDAM paherelAM, apa Tu DeTa yuvAna joI chokarIo mUrzita thaI jAya, paNa mahIM mAla kevo ya kacarAvALo haze te nA dekhI zake ! rUpALo joIne ja mUchita thaI jAya eTale tyAM phasAvuM nahIM, nahIM to bhava bagADI nAkhe e ! AvatA bhavanI gAMTha paDe. pUjyazrIe chokarIo mATe brahmacaryanI muzkelIo vadhAre darzAvI che. nizcaya Dage nahIM to geranTIthI brahmacaryane pahoMcI vaLAze ! zrI vijhananI jAgRti rahe te mohane kADhe. yuvAnone paiNavAnuM kahIe to nA pADe che. ghera mA-bApanuM sukha (!) joIne emane jabarajasta vairAga AvI jAya che. game teTaluM AkarSaNa thAya paNa pratikramaNa khUba karye rAkhavAthI temAMthI chUTI javAya. AjakAla dhaNI te kevA hoya che ? dhaNI to tenuM nAma ke eka kSaNa paNa ApaNane nA bhUle ! A to badhA kacaro ! bahAra keTalIya strIo joDe sodA pADatA phare ! A kALamAM prema nahIM paNa Asakti ja jovA maLe. prema bhUkhyA nahIM paNa viSaya bhUkhyA hoya. A eka jAtanuM saMDAsa ja kahevAya, viSaya eTale paiNyA eTale gharanuM saMDAsa AvI gayuM, nahIM to bahAra jayAM ne tyAM jatA phare ! enA vinA chUTako ja nahIM ne, mATe ! jene ekAvatArI pada meLavI mokSe ja javuM che tene prathama AtmajJAna prApta karavuM paDe jJAnI pAsethI. pachI AjJAmAM AvIne brahmacarya pALe to ja thAya. strIone mATe vadhArAmAM moha ne kapaTathI saMpUrNa chUTavuM paDe. parapuruSa mATe vicAra paNa nA joIe. ane Ave to tarata pratikramaNa karI dhovuM paDe. je mizracetanathI cetyo enuM kalyANa thaI gayuM ! mizracetana saMge je vikArI saMbaMdhIthI lapaTAyA to jAnavaragatimAM kheMcI jAya ! jJAnI puruSa pAse potAnuM kalyANa karI levAnuM. pote kalyANa svarUpa thayo. tenAthI vagara bolya bIjAnuM kalyANa thAya. bola bola karavAthI ke bhASaNo karavAthI kazuM vaLatuM nathI. cAritranI mUrti jovAthI ja badhA bhAva zamI jAya ! mATe pyaoNra thavAnuM che, zIlavAna thavAnuM che !!! - jaya saccidAnaMda 39 40 Page #22 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ eka draSTi DaoN. nIrubahena amIta viSayanuM vairAgyamaya svarUpa samajavAthI mAMDIne TheTha brahmacaryanuM svarUpa, tema ja tenI yathArtha akhaMDa prApti sudhInI bhAvanAvALA bhinna bhinna sAdhakonI saMgAthe, pragaTa AtmavIryavAna jJAnI puruSa parama pUjya dAdAzrInI nIkaLelI, mAtra vairAgyane janmAvanArI ja nahIM kiMtu viSayabIjane nirmULa karI nigraMthakArI adbhuta vANI je vahI che, tenuM atre saMkalana thayuM che. sAdhakonI dazA, sthiti ne samajanI gaherAIne AdhAre nIkaLelI vANIne evI khUbIpUrvaka saMkalana karavAmAM AvI che ke jethI karIne judA judA 'levale" nIkaLelI vAta pratyeka vAcakane akhaMDitapaNe saMpUrNa pahoMce, evA 'A' 'samajathI prApta brahmacarya' graMthane pUrvArdhauttarArdhamAM vibhAjita karavAmAM Avyo che. pUrvArdhanA khaMDa : 1mAM viSayanuM virecana karAvanArI joradAra, coMTadAra ne zabda zabda vairAgya nIpajAvanArI vANI saMkalita thaI che. jagatamAM samAnyapaNe viSayamAM sukhanI vartatI bhrAMtine bhAMgI nAkhanArI, eTaluM ja nahIM paNa "dizA kaI ? ne cAlI rahyA kyAM ?!!" enuM saMpUrNa bhAna karAvanArI hRdayasparzI vANInuM saMkalana thayuM che. khaMDa : 2mAM brahmacaryanAM pariNAmo jJAnIzrImukhe jANavAthI tenA prati ApharIna thayelo sAdhaka te prati Daga mAMDavAnI saheja hiMmata dAkhavavA mAMDe che. ne jJAnI puruSano yoga sAdhI satsaMga sAnnidhya, prApta thatA manavacana-kAyAthI akhaMDa brahmacaryamAM rahevAno draDha nizcayI bane che. brahmacaryanA patha para prayANa karavAne kAje ane viSayanA vaTavRkSane jaDamULathI ukhADIne nirmaLa karavAne kAje enA mArgamAM vacce patharAtA patharAothI mAMDIne pahADasama AvatAM vighno sAme, nizcaya Dagumagu thatAthI mAMDIne brahmacaryavratamAMthI yuta thavA chatAM tene jAgRtinI sarvotkRSTa zreNio sara karAvI nigraMthatAne pamADe tyAM sudhInI vijJAna-draSTi jJAnI puruSa kholAve che, khilAve che !!! - jaya saccidAnaMda Page #23 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ khaMDa : 1 viSayanuM svarUpa jJAtI-draSTie ! 1. vizleSaNa viSayatAM svarUpatuM ! kIcaDamAM ThaMDakanI majhA ! 1 A jherane jhera jANyuM ? paravazatAo zIdane poSAya ? paraNyAnAM pariNAmo to juo .... AkhI duniyAno eMThavADo ! sukhanA sAdhanA ke azucinuM saMgrahasthAna ? 8 sAco kerIno bhoga, viSaya karatAM 19 sarva indriyoe vakhoDayo viSaya buddhithI vicAryuM viSayane kadi ? naryo gaMdavADo dekhAya viSayamAM ! sAcu sukha zemAM ? cAlI rahyAM kyAM ? dizA kaI ? anukramaNika samajo brahmacaryanI kamANI karakasara karo vIryane lakSmInI ! akrama vijJAna pamADe mokSa ? ATaluM Avazyaka brahmacaryanAM kenDIDeTane jJAna kone badhu rahe bemAMthI ? zarIrano rAjA koNa ? brahmacarya, projekaTanuM pariNAma ! enA hetu para AdhAra na jANyuM jagate svarUpa vAsanAnuM ajJAnanAM vAMke indriyone DAma viSayano zokha, vadhAre viSaya na AMtarAya manane ! 5 11 12 14 15 16 17 2. vikArothI vimuktitI vATa.... vikAro haThAvavA che ? 18 19 20 21 25 26 ra6 29 29 30 32 vAsanA vastu nahIM, paNa rasa jJAnI ja choDAve vAsanA sahelAIthI viSayane kaSAyanI bhedarekhA 3. mahAtmya brahmacaryanuM ! viSayanI kiMmata keTalI ? viSayathI kharaDAyelAM jIvana... brahmacarya pALavAnAM pagathiyA ! vratanAM pariNAma AzApUrvakanuM vrata te sAcuM ! brahmacarya to kevuM hovuM joIe ?! abhiprAya badalye nIkaLavA mAMDe ! gajabanAM e brahmacArI ! 34 34 36 37 38 38 rAjA jItye, jItAyuM AkhuM rAja ! TaLe jJAnane dhyAna 39 40 41 44 44 khaMDa : 2 tA ja paraNavAtAM nizcayI mATetI vATa.... 1. viSayathI kaI samajaNe chUTAya ? nA paiNavAnAM nizcayane 46 48 samajIne paiso AmAM pharI pharI karavo nizcaya Ye he viSaya ! tArA pakSamAM, have nahIM !! 50 be pAMdaDe ja nIMdI nAkhavuM ! pa kheMcAya citta raste jatAM..... 55 draSTi mAMDIe, to draSTi bagaDene ?! 57 para pratikramaNa pachI, daMDano upAya | jovuM, sAmAnya bhAve pa e mIThAzanuM pRththakkaraNa to karI joIe 60 chatAM ya AkarSaNa kema ? 61 64 65 lIMka cAlu tenuM jokhama hAra jIta, viSayanI ke potAnI ? e sevanathI pAtratA ! na chUTakAnI pAzavatA !!! 2. draSTi ukhaDe, 'thI vijhate'! 'rezamI cAdara' pAchaLa adbhUta prayoga, zrI vijhanano ! kharuM brahmacarya, jAgRtipUrvakanuM ! upayoga jAgRti, TaLe moha pariNAma ! moha rAjAno aMtima vyU.. viSayanI chUpI ruci to nathI ne ? 3. draDha nizcaya, pahoMcADe pAra ! na Dage kadi, te nizcaya ! vaLagI rahe nizcayane TheTha... 66 FE 63 00 draDha nizcayI pahoMcI zake ! adhUrI samajaNa, tyAM nizcaya kAryo kema, gADIone nathI athaDAto ? dAnata cora tyAM nahIM nizcaya... viSayanAM viSa kema parakhAtAM nathI ? 'udaya'nI vyAkhyA to samajo.... draDha nizcayane zenAM aMtarAyo ?! 83 re Co 91 samajo nizcayanAM svarUpa..... nizcayanAM pAritoSako ! ATaluMka ja sAcavazo jarA ! kyAMka pola 'poSAtI' to nathI ne ? 93 95 96 na cAle apavAda brahmacaryamAM ! puruSArtha ja nahIM, paNa parAkrame pahoMco. 98 nizcaya mAMge, sinsIyAriTI ! 100 101 'rIja poInTe' paDelAM jokhamo 102 103 104 105 107 109 111 4. viSaya vicAro pajave tyAre... e to che bharelo mAla judApaNAthI jIvAya !! gura 35 e 9 81 83 114 116 satsaMgamAM sAvadha rahevuM ! mananI polo sAme buddhinI vakIlAto vagara phI .... vadhe viSayonI lIMkothI .... kaLAthI kAma kADho ! 5. na calAya, matatA kahyA pramANe ! jJAnathI karo svaccha mana ! 130 131 132 133 134 135 147 141 144 144 144 145 149 150 nahIM to mana paDe lapaTuM ! virodhInAM pakSakAra !(?) mana calAve mAhayarA lagI... dhyeyano ja nizcaya ! sAmAyikamAM calaNa, mananuM ! dhyeya pramANe hAMko.... cho ne bUmo pADe ! na cAlu vevarIMga mAInDa AmAM... jyAM siddhAMta che brahmacaryano.... jyAM siddhAMta che brahmacaryano... cAlo, siddhAMta pramANe nizcayo jJAna ane mananA AptaputronI pAtratA 6. 'pote' potAne vaDhavo ! 120 121 126 127 128 potAne ThapakArI sudhAro ! patAvo prakRtine paTAvIne ! 152 156 7. pastAvA sahitatAM pratikramaNo ! pratyakSa AlocanAthI rokaDuM chUTAya ! 158 jyAM InTaresTa tyAM karo pratikramaNa viSaya saMbaMdhI sAmAyika pratikramaNa viSayamAM sukhabuddhi kone ? he gAMTho ! ame nahIM ke tame nahIM !! 163 166 viSaya bIja nirmULa zuddha upayoge ! 8. sparza sukhatI bhrAmaka mAnyatA ! jotAM ja jugupsA ! 159 160 161 169 Page #24 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ roMga bilipho, rUTa kaoNjhamAM e bUmo mananI ja ? sparza sukhanA jokhama.... strI sparza lAge viSasama ! banne sparzanI asaromAM bhinnatA ! 176 AkarSaNa e che moha ! 139 AkarSaNa tyAM jokhama jANa ! 181 niyama AkarSaNa tathA vikarSaNa taNA ! 183 ekavAra bhogavyo ke gayo ! 185 mukta dazAnI pArAzIzI ! bhaTakatI vRttio cittanI ! cittanI coTa, chUTe Ama.... 9. phAIla sAme kaDakAI vikArI draSTi sAme DhAla ! vikArI caMcaLatA.... phAIla thaI gaI tyAM... sAme phAIla Ave tyAre.... 170 11 173 1974 lapasaNuM sahaja, jo eka phera lapasyA na thAya saMga saMyogI dAdAnI tyAM mauna kaDakAI Aptaputro mATenI kalamo 186 183 188 190 192 192 194 lAkaDAnI pUtaLI, sArI ! 194 agni ne phAIla sarakhA ! 195 kApo kaDakAIthI 'ene' ! 196 tyAM che dAnatacora ! 197 kaDaka Ama thavAya ! 199 20 toDAya lapharuM kaLAe karIne ! vaLagADI kahI DIyara, toDo ApI phIyara 202 10. viSayI vartana ? to DisamIsa ! ahIM karelA pApa, pamADe narka ! na zobhe e ! 205 206 207 207 20 211 11. sephasAiDa sudhItI vADa.... jaruriyAto brahmacaryanA sAdhakanI... 213 215 216 218 saMga kusaMganA pariNAmo ! lazkara goThavI caDho jaMge kharo ! viSayI vAtAvaraNathI vyAyo vyApara samabhAvInuM ToLuM !! 221 saMga baLanI sahAyatA, brahmacarya mATe ! 222 12. titikSAnAM tape keLavo mata-deha! bhaNo pATha titikSAna.... 224 237 keLavAya manobaLa, titikSAthI ! upavAsa-UNodarI mAtra 'jAgRti' hetue 229 jJAnIoe navAjyAM UNodarI tapa ! 230 AhAra jAgRtie rakSA levAM vrata ! khorAkamAM dhI-khAMDa karAve viSayakAMDa ! nahAvAnuM ya notare nukasAna ! jIvavAnuM dhyeya pramANe ! 232 233 235 236 kaMdamULa poSe viSayane ! 237 13. ta ho asAra pudgalasAra ! pudgala sAra che brahmacarya ! 239 aho, aho ! AtmavIryavALAne ! 241 varte vIrya, jyAM jyAM ruci ! 242 upAyo AdaravA, svapnadoSa TALavA ! 243 vIryazaktinuM Urdhvagamana kyAre ?! 245 246 249 jokhamo hRSTapuSTa zarIranAM nirogIthI viSaya bhAge ! jJAnInI jhINI jhINI vAto ! ulTI thAya tethI marI javAya ? vicAra : maMthana : skhalana ! 251 255 257 14. brahmacarya pamADe brahmAMDano AnaMda ! enAthI zuM nA maLe ? 264 jANo gaMbhIratA, brahmacarya vratanI ! cAritranuM sukha kevuM varte ! napho khAvo ke khoTa aTakAvavI ? 15. viSaya sAme vijJAnanI jAgRti ! AkarSaNa sAme khape potAno virodha ! 274 pUrve cUkelAM, tenAM phaLa A ! 277 238 239 280 tyAM juo zuddhAtmA ja ! pudgala svabhAva zAne karIne... Ama draSTi nirmaLa karAya ! vicAra dhyAnarUpa to nathI thatAM ne ? 282 jovAthI ogaLe, gAMTho viSayanI ! 'jovuM' ne 'jANavuM' AtmasvarUpe jAgRtimAM jhokA, tyAM viSayanA soTAM ! 289 aMte to AtmarUpa ja thavAnuM che ! 283 287 292 16. lapasatArAone, UThADI doDAve... ra66 200 272 mAthe rAkho jJAnIne, TheTha sudhI jANo gunAnAM phaLane prathama ! dhaMdhAmAM khUMpyA ke khoyA khudA ! eka dhyeya, eka ja bhAva ! je vATe vahyA, vadhAvyA te ja vATe ! 'dAdA' kahetAM ja dAdA hAjara !!! dhyeyIne dhare hAtha dAdA sadA ! jJAnI maTADe anaMtakALanA rogo... 294 295 296 299 300 302 302 305 17. aMtima avatAramAM ya brahmacarya to Avazyaka ! nIMdhyAM vinAnAM khetaro ! 307 309 nUra jhaLake brahmacaryanuM ! bemAM kyuM UMcu ? 300 cAritrabaLathI phaphaDe strIo ! 311 313 na thAya dabANa brahmacaryamAM... rAjA-rANInAM chUTAcheDA, paiNatA pahelAM 313 vratanI vidhithI, tUTe aMtarAyo ! sAdhano, 'saMyamI'nA sathavAre ! akramamAM AvI AzramanI jarUra ! brahmacarya vinA na javAya mokSe kiMda ! mana bagaDe tyAM.... 315 316 318 320 321 224 svapnAnA bhogano pUrvA para saMbaMdha ?! 322 dAdAvANI sarI brahmacArIo kAje... ....ne abrahmacaryanAM aneka duHkho draSTithI ja bagaDe, brahmacarya ! 325 326 327 329 koInI bahena para driSTa bagADI ! pratikramaNa e ja upAya ! kevo moha, te koDathI paiNe !! juvAnI sacavAI jAya to..... AnaMdanI anUbhuti tyAM ! vyavahAra maThAre brahmacArIone nizcaya saha vacanabaLano pAvara emAM karmabaMdhananA niyamo ! brahmacarya, cArja ke DiscArja viSaya tUTe, sAmAvaLiyA thayethI ! AlocanA, AptapuruSa pAse ja ! have to devuM cUkavI do ! e pAme paramAtma pada ! 18. dAdA Ape puSTi, AptaputrIone ! moha Avare jAgRtine ! paiNavAno AdhAra nizcaya para ! 330 331 333 335 338 342 343 345 348 349 350 351 354 354 doSa, AMkhano ke ajJAnatAno ? A lagnasaMbaMdhanAM svarUpa to juo !!! 361 AkarSaNa amukanuM ja zAne ? 362 369 AvI samaja koNa pADe ! kalyANa karavAnuM, kalyANa svarUpa thavAnuM 372 ////////// Page #25 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ ceta re brahmacArI... kezava karI le vicAra, kezava karI le vicAra, lakSmI rati mohAvanAra, AhAra vihAra che asAra, mAthuM jAya nA cukanAra, viryanuM sUkSma lIka thanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSayo mA che vikarALa, lapasyo garakI jAya kALa, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, kyAM phasANo A che nAra, tArA (dilanA) TukaDA thAya hajAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, amula khajAno lAgyo hAtha, have choDe to thAya anAtha, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, nakharALI najare ho tucchakAra, kaDaka AMkhe che upakAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, mAtra khape zudhdhAhAra, zudhdha vicAra ne uccAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, tIrthaMkara gautrano che karAra, kalyANano che. avatAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, brahmacarya khulyAM drAra, pAmI rAta rAta hajAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, sAnidhya jhaMkhe je palavAra, lapase lapasAve talavAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, saravaiyAmAM zuM che sAra, kaleza tAyaphAno che saMsAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, dhyeyano mahAna che citAra, Daga nAnA ne pramAda apAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, brahmacArI viSe acarajakAra, krama akramane tuM sAMdhanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, hasIne vAta nA lagAra, dRSTi e dRSTi nA aDADa, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, jo jo mahIM polano mAra, AtmA bhUlAve tatavAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, dAdAno veDaphAya nA udagAra, jaganA sAdane paDakAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, ApoyuM gaye pUrNa thanAra, nirAlaMba svamAM vartanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSayo citta upacAra, nididhyAsana eka ja sAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, batrIsa bhAta choDayo thALa, caTaNI caTAke camakAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, prakRtino A mitracAra, choDI de, rAkhanA lagAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSaya chUTyo jaya jayakAra, UMDe saMpUrNa jagatAdhAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, brahmacarya che mokSAdhAra, sIkko lAge beDA pAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, nayanonA lAge goLIbAra, bakhatara bUThAM thaye hAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, cittane vikhera nA lagAra, Atmaaizvarya haNanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. Page #26 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ kezava karI le vicAra, lAlace lapaTanA lagAra, viSayanI jhApaTa che taiyAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, caTaNI kAje khoyo thALa, viSayamAM tRpti nahIM lagAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, mana lapaTuM to ya nA hAra, kezava karI le vicAra, dAdAI kRpA aparaMpAra, spaSTa vedana kone maLanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. brahmacarya dhAraNa karanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, kemerAmAM dAdAne ja pADa, kezava karI le vicAra, bIje kayAMya phoksa nA mAMDa viSaya vicAre tanmayakAra, (bagADa) maMthane vIrya khalanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, bI be pAMdaDe phUTanAra, ukheDI taeNa dUra pheMkanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, buddhithI gaNI sukhasAra, viSayamAM sukha kayAM talabhAra ? mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, moha jItavAno che apAra, mUchita thaIza nA tuM lagAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSayo to bhogavyA anaMtavAra, jJAnI hAtha Ave nA dUbAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, zrI vIjhane viSaya jItanAra, dAdAputra thA tuM honahAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSaya kIcaDamAM DUbanAra, viSe na maLe hAthe jhIlanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, gAphela rahiza nA lagAra, daSTidoSe khaDo saMsAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, strI sadA dAvo mAMDanAra, nava gajathI kara re namaskAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, dRSTithI sUkSma galana thanAra, sthaLamAM pachI na ko" rokanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, cokhkho dago che saMsAra, viSayonI mAthe che talavAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, kaDaka dRSTinA rAkha hathiyAra, phATatAM pUrve bAMdhI le pALa, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, brahmacaryano kayo AdhAra ? samajIne ke ahaMkAra ? mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, cetaje strInA tiraskAra, chUpo temAM viSayano raNakAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, virya patana che nIkAla, A to parINAma AhAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra mohano khAdho keTalA mAra, toya nA Ave oDakAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, lapasyo to che laMgAra, bAbA bebInI jo katAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, vizva viSaya aMdhakAra, dIpa banI tu jaga tAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, brahmacarya ja sarvAdhAra, bhagavaMta pade pahocADanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. Page #27 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ kezava karI le vicAra, potA jevuM jaga karanAra, kema poSAya dhyeya toDanAra ? mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, kema poSAya A saMsAra, vizva kuTuMbano AdhAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, brahmacarya guNa gAnAra, pAme pudagala sAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSaya agni svarUpAkAra, nA thA hAthe kadi dhalanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, nizcaya kema re DaganAra, AMdhI to Ave vAraMvAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, bIbInAM bole bola dharAra, kyAMthI pahoMcI tuM vaLanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, saMyama vAge che sitAra, atuTa avirata AdhAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSayano Ave kayAre pAra, ApaNe chUTavuM bhava pAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, akhaMDa brahmacAryanI dhAra, marI javuM, paNa nA cUkanAra! mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSayonI have zuM madAra, dAdA kRpA aparaMpAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSayo jAge tyAM agni jALa, paDatAM nA rahe jhIlanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSaya aMte che dhikkAra, aNahakka baMdhe narkAgAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSayo saMsArano utAra, adhogAmI che vyavahAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, agnine peTrola mIlanasAra, mIlatA viSayI bhiSaNa jALa, mATe cetIne cAla. kezave karI le vicAra, jaga kalyANI dhyeya savAra, zIlathI kaSTo kaMpAvanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, cittano Avo che dhiradhAra, eka phera Take tyAM ja janAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSaya icchA tyAM bhikhAra, mananAM phekacaramAM bhegAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSaya jIvatuM narkAgAra, emAMthI na jaDe nIkaLanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezave karI le vicAra, zIlanuM grahIye alaMkAra, kalyANI hetu AkarSanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSaya che bALanAra, nirviSathI dAdA jevo thanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. kezava karI le vicAra, viSayanI aMdara che saMsAra, kusaMga maLatAM ubhuM thanAra, mATe cetIne cAla. Page #28 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ AtmaviNa TekA kare nirAdhAra kyAre dhoI pugIza mokSa vyAra kezava karI le vicAra draSTi kheMcAya jyAM palavAra bI paDe thatAM ja tanmayAkAra DImpala karI le vicAra sparzo doSa jherIlo apAra ceta nahIM to tuM lapasanAra kezava karI le vicAra sthULa doSa cAle nA ekavAra eka phera DULyo to zuM vicAra ? ketana karI le vicAra pala pala kImatI apAra kAmanuM saravaiyuM kara taiyAra kezava karI le vicAra thoDI kSaNa rahyo tanmayAkAra be pAMdaDethI jhADa taiyAra DImpala karI le vicAra mukhaDuM thAya jagAra khape aMtaHkaraNa ceka cakAra kezava karI le vicAra DUbelAne dAdA tAraNahAra marajIvA banI ugAranAra ketana karI le vicAra brahmacaryathI ja nAve pAra mAla sAmAna khapaze apAra kezava karI le vicAra be pAMdaDA pachI tArI hAra sUkSmamAM vIrya smalana thanAra DImpala karI le vicAra kyAre nIkaLIza viSaya pAra jJAna tyAre ja jhaLakaze apAra latikA karI le vicAra ottArI" tArI vAraMvAra TeresAno tuM avatAra kezava karI le vicAra bhayaMkara viSayadoSano bhAra AlocanA karIne UtAra kezava karI le vicAra UkheDa kUMpaNa tatvAra aTake alana thI huMziyAra ketana karI le vicAra kIDI jevI tArI raphatAra pavana vege thavAya pAra latikA karI le vicAra imozanala thaIza nA lagAra dAdAI zakti tujamAM apAra kezava karI le vicAra viSaya bAMdhyA narkAgAra AlocanA eka ja ugAranAra kezava karI le vicAra citte pADyA phoTA vAraMvAra pratikrame dhone koTIvAra ketana karI le vicAra negeTIva vadhAre arI bhAra toDe abhedatAnA tAra latikA karI le vicAra puruSa banI jIta saMsAra mokSanA khulaze tyAre dvAra kezava karI le vicAra vIrya che pudgala sAra te jItyuM pAme samayasAra ketana karI le vicAra negeTIva tyAM "sva'nI hAra pherava pojhITIvamAM tatkALa nImeza karI le vicAra "mInsa mInsa' mInIMgalesa thanAra sImaMdharane Thera Thera padhAra kezava karI le vicAra brahmacarya vinA nathI uddhAra mokSe gayA sarvasaMga tyAganAra ketana karI le vicAra nAkhe paththara, ne sahu jhIlanAra negeTIva kAje jaldI taiyAra kezava karI le vicAra anya chAMyAmAM chapanAra DImpala karI le vicAra prazna che A ja avatAra moha jItI kara saMsAra pAra ketana karI le vicAra sahumAM ghUsADayA keTalA khAra Page #29 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ khaMDa : 1 viSayanuM svarUpa, jJAtI-draSTie! vizleSaNa, viSayatA svarUpanuM ! kIcaDamAM ThaMDakatI majhA ! A pAMca indriyanA kIcaDamAM manuSya thaIne kema paDyA che e ja ajAyabI che ! bhayaMkara kIcaDa che A to ! paNa e nahIM samajavAthI, bebhAnapaNAthI jagata cAlyA kare che. eka saheja jo vicAre to ya kIcaDe samajAya. paNa A loko vicAratA ja nathI ne ?! naryo kIcaDa che. to manuSyo kema AvA kIcaDamAM paDyA che ? tyAre kahe, 'bIjI jagyAe cokhkhuM maLatuM nathI. eTale AvA kIcaDamAM sUI gayo che.' praznakartA : eTale kIcaDa mATenI ajJAnatA ja che ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, enI ajJAnatA che. eTale ja kIcaDamAM paDyo che. pAchuM Ane jo samajavA prayatna kare to samajAya evuM che, paNa pote samajavA prayatna ja nathI karato ne !! koI kahe ke jAnavarone A viSayo priya che ? to huM kahuM ke nA, jAnavarone A viSayo bilakula pasaMda nathI. paNa chatAM ya emane "necarala uzkerATa thAya che. bAkI A viSayane koI pasaMda ja nA kare, sAco puruSa samajathI prApta brahmacarya hoya to pasaMda ja nA kare. to A manuSyo zAthI viSayomAM paDe che ke Akho dahADo doDadhAma, doDadhAma kare. thAkelo hoya eTale ene bhAna nathI rahetuM ke A kIcaDa che, eTale e mAra paDatuM nAkhe che mahIM !! bAkI bilakula 'sensa' khalAsa thaI jAya tyAre A kIcaDa yAda Ave. nahIM to 'sensIbala' mANasane to A kIcaDa game ja nahIM ne ! A to doDadhAmanI mahenata ne enI baLatarA, ene zamAvavA mATe A kAdavamAM paDe che. khADAmAM paDyA tethI karIne A baLatarA kaMI zAMta thatI nathI, jarA saMtoSa Ape eTaluM ja ane UMgha AvI jAya. bAkI pachI to maravA jevuM lAge. A viSayanA kAdava karatAM vAMdarAnI khADIno kAdava to bahu sAro, ekalI gaMdha Ave eTaluM ja, bIjuM kaMI nahIM. jyAre A to apAra gaMdha ne naryA keTalAMya jIvo marI jAya che, paNa bhAna nathI ane pAcho kahe che ke, "huM jaina chuM.' alyA, jaina to Avo nA hoya. AmAM to karoDo jIva khalAsa thaI jAya che !!! evuM che, nirviSaya viSaya kone kahyo che ? A jagatamAM nirviSayI viSayo che. A zarIrane jarUriyAta mATe je kaMI dALa-bhAta-zAka-roTalI, je bheguM thAya te khAva. e viSaya nathI. viSaya kyAre kahevAya ? ke tame lubdhamAna thAva tyAre viSaya kahevAya che, nahIM to e viSaya nathI, e nirviSaya viSaya che. eTale A jagatamAM AMkhe dekhAya te badhuM ja viSaya nathI, lubdhamAna thAya to ja viSaya che. amane koI viSaya ja aDato nathI. viSayanI jarUra zI che, te ja huM samajato nathI. A jAnavaro paNa jenAthI kaMTALI gayAM che, te viSayamAM A manuSyone majhA Ave che, A kaI ajAyabI che te ?! kema A kIcaDamAM jhaMpalAve che, eno vicAra ja nathI Avato, evA 'bleTa' thaI gayA che !! tethI bhagavAna mahAvIre pAMcamuM mahAvrata brahmacaryanuM ghAlyuM ke AjanA manuSyone viSayanA kIcaDanuM bhAna ja nahIM rahe, mATe A cAra hatA, tenA pAMca mahAvrata karI ApyA. temanA manamAM ema ke loko thoDuM ghaNuM vicAre, AnI jokhamadArI samaje. A to bhayaMkara vikRti kahevAya. AnAM karatAM to narkanuM du:kha sAruM, narkanI vedanA sArI, paNa A vedanA to bahu bhayaMkara !! Page #30 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya nirAMte. dahIMvaDA khAjo, badhuM khAjo. A badhAmAM svAda lAge che. jJAnIne svAda samajAya, paNa emane A svAdamAM sAruM-khoTuM nA hoya ke nA hoya to ja mAre cAlaze. viSayano to jJAnI puruSane svapna ya vicAra nA Ave. e to pAzavI vidyA che. manuSyamAM khullI pAzavatA kahevAmAM Ave to ATalI ja che. manuSyapaNuM to mokSane mATe ja hovuM joIe. anaMta avatAranI kamANI kare tyAre UMcuM gotra, UMcA kuLamAM janma thAya. paNa pachI lakSmI ne viSayanI pAchaLa anaMta avatAranI kamANI khoI nAkhe !!! samajathI prApta brahmacarya mane keTalAMka mANaso kahe che ke, "A viSayamAM evuM zuM paDyuM che ke viSayasukhane cAkhyA pachI mArI jAta maraNatulya thaI jAya che, mAruM mana marI jAya che, vANI marI jAya che ?" meM kahyuM ke, A marI gayelAM ja che. badhAM, paNa tamane bhAna nathI AvatuM ne pharI pAchI AnI A ja dazA utpanna thAya che. nahIM to brahmacarya jo kadI sacavAya to eka eka manuSyamAM to keTalI zakti che !! AtmAnuM jJAna kare e samayasAra kahevAya. AtmAnuM jJAna kare ane jAgRti rahe eTale samayano sAra utpanna thayo ane brahmacarya e pudgalasAra che. eTale A viSayamAM to eka dahADo ya bagADAya nahIM. e to jaMgalI avasthA kahevAya. mana, vacana, kAyAthI brahmacarya pALe to kevuM sarasa manobaLa rahe, kevuM sarasa vacanabaLa rahe ne kevuM sarasa dehabaLa rahe ! ApaNe tyAM bhagavAna mahAvIra sudhI kevo vyavahAra hato ? eka-be baccAM sudhI 'vyavahAra' karavo. paNa A kALamAM e vyavahAra bagaDavAno, evuM bhagavAna jANatA hatA, tethI emane pAMcamuM mahAvrata ghAlavuM paDyuM. A jherane jhera jANyuM? viSayane jhera jANyuM ja nathI. jhera jANe to ene aDe nahIM ne ! tethI bhagavAne kahyuM ke jJAnanuM phaLa virati ! jANyAnuM phaLa zuM? ke aTakI jAya. viSayonuM jokhama jANyuM nathI, mATe temAM aTakyo nathI. bhaya rAkhavA jevo hoya to, A viSayano bhaya rAkhavA jevo che. bIjI koI A jagatamAM bhaya rAkhavA jevI jagyA ja nathI. mATe viSayathI ceto. A sApa, vIMchI, vAghathI nathI cetatA ? cetatA rahIe chIe ne ? jema vAghanI vAta Ave, tyAre e bhaya ApaNe nA rAkhavo hoya to ya eno bhaya lAge che ne ? tema viSayanI vAta Ave ne bhaya lAgavo joIe. bhaya hoya tyAM khAvAnuM mojathI jame ? nA. eTale bhaya hoya tyAM moja nA hoya. jagata A viSayo bhayathI bhogavatA haze ? nA. A to loko mojathI bhogave che. bhaya hoya tyAM bhogavaTo ja nA hoya. koI kaheze ke jalebI khAuM? to huM kahuM ke e sArI che, khAjo paravazatAo zIdane poSAya ? mokSanI icchA to badhI bahu che, paNa mokSano rasto maLato nathI. eTale anaMta avatArathI rajhaLapATa ja karyo che ane avalaMbana vagara jIvAtuM nathI. eTale strI joIe che, badhuM joIe che. paNe che, te ya AdhAra khoLe che. tethI paiNe che ne ?! mANasa nirAdhAra rahI zake nahIM ne ?! nirAlaMba rahI zake nahIM ne !!! jJAnI puruSa sivAya bIjuM koI nirAlaMba rahI zake nahIM, avalaMbana khoLe ja kazuM ! A karoLiyo jALuM vaTe, pachI pote mahIM pUrAya. evI rIte A saMsAranuM jALuM pote ja UbhuM kareluM che. gayA avatAre pote mAMgaNI karI hatI. buddhinA AzayamAM ApaNe TeMDara bharyuM hatuM ke eka strI to joIze ja. be-traNa rUma haze, ekAda chokaro ne ekAda chokarI, nokarI eTale ja joIze. tene badale vAIpha to ApI te ApI, paNa sAsu-sasaro, sALosALAvelI, mAsI sAsu, kAkI sAsu, phoI sAsu, mAmI sAsu, ...... heya phasAmaNa, phasAmaNa !!! ATalI badhI phasAmaNa joDe Avaze evI khabara hota to A mAMgaNI ja nA karata baLI ! ApaNe to TeMDara bharyuM hatuM vAIpha ekalInuM, te A badhuM zuM karavA ApyuM ? tyAre kudarata kahe che, "bhaI, e ekaluM to nA apAya, mAmI sAsu, phoI sAsu e badhuM ApavuM paDe. tamane tyAra vagara game nahIM. A to laMgara badhuM hoya tyAre ja barAbara majhA Ave !!" eka ATaluM levA jaIe tyAra horuM keTalI vaLagADa, keTalI badhI paravazatAo ! e paravazatA pAchI sahana thAya nahIM. Page #31 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brAhmacarya 5 praznakartA : A mana-vacana-kAyAnAM ja lapharAM gamatAM nathIne have ! dAdAzrI : AmAM to cha bhAgIdAra che. paiNyA eTale emAM pAchA bIjA chanI bhAgIdArI, eTale bAra bhAgIdAronuM korporezana UbhuM thayuM pAchuM. chamAM to keTalI badhI laDhavADo cAle ja che, tyAM pAchI bAranI laDhavADo UbhI thAya. pachI dareka chokare chokare navA cha bhAgIdAro pAchA mahIM umerAya. eTale keTalI phasAmaNa UbhI thaI jAya !!! paraNyAtA pariNAmo to juo... have tAre saMsAramAM zuM zuM joIe che ? e kahene. praznakartA : mAre to A zAdI ja nathI karavI. dAdAzrI : A deha ja naryo upAdhi che ne ? peTamAM duHkhe tyAre A deha upara kevuM thAya che? to bIjAnI dukAna sudhI vepAra mAMDIe, to zuM thAya ? keTalI upAdhi Ape ? ane pAchA be-cAra chokarAM hoya. baI ekalI hoya to ThIka che vaLI, e pAMsarI rahe paNa A to cAra chokarAM !! te zuM thAya ? pAra vagaranI upAdhi !! narI 'phAIlo ja vadhI jAya. eTale bhagavAne evuM kahyuM che ke aupacArika nA karazo. anupacAra eTale tame jeno upacAra paNa karyo nathI evo A deha che, te to chUTako ja nathI. paNa pelo upacAra kare che, paiNe che, vyApAra mAMDe che, e nA karazo. ne Ane have upacAra karavAnI icchA nathI, tethI kahe che ke zAdI ja nathI karavI. yonimAMthI janma le che. te yonimAM to eTalAM badhAM bhayaMkara duHkhomAM rahevuM paDe che ne moTI uMmarano thAya ke yoni upara ja pAcho jAya che. A jagatano vyavahAra ja evo che. koIe sAcuM zIkhavADyuM nathI ne ! mA-bApe ya kahe ke paiNo have. ane mA-bApanI pharaja to kharI ne ? paNa koI sAcI salAha nA Ape ke AmAM AvuM du:kha che. e to kaheze, paiNAvo have. jethI ene tyAM chokaro thAya to huM dAdo thAuM. basa, ATalI ja emane lhAya hoya. 'are, paNa dAdA thavA mATe mane zuM kAma A kUvAmAM nAkho cho ?" bApAne dAdA thavuM hoya eTalA hAruM ApaNane kUvAmAM nAkhe. samajathI prApta brahmacarya lagnamAM to keTalAMya ekasIDanTa thAya che, chatAM keTalAMya lagna thAya che ne ? A to lagnanA kUvAmAM paDavuM paDe che. kazuM nA hoya to chevaTe mA-bApa paNa UMcakIne e kUvAmAM nAkhe. e loko nA nAkhe to mAmo UMcakIne nAkhe. AvuM che A phasAmaNavALuM jagata !! lagna e to kharekharuM baMdhana che. bheMsane DabbAmAM pUre che evI dazA thAya che. e phasAmaNamAM nA pesAya e uttama, peThA hoya to ya nIkaLI javAya to vadhu uttama ane nahIM to ya chevaTe phaLa cAkhyA pachI nIkaLI javuM joIe !!! paraNatAM pahelAM dasa dahADA pahelAM vahu jo gADImAM maLI hoya to te dhakko mAre. ene pAchI pote pAsa karI. lyo, e vAIpha thaI gaI ! konI choDI, kono chokaro, nahIM kazI levA devA !! vAIpha marI jAya to pAchA raDe. zAthI e raDe che ? e kyAM ApaNI sagI hatI ? mAnI sagAI sAcI kahevAya, bhAInI sagAI kahevAya, bApanI sagAI kahevAya. paNa vAIphanI zI sagAI kahevAya ?! pArakA gharanI choDI, te jovA gayo hato te ghaDIe to Ama pharo, Ama pharo karato hato, marajImAM Ave to seMkzana kare. ghera lAve. pachI pAcho meLa nA paDe, to kaheze ke DAyavorsa lo. eka bhAI mane kahe che ke mArI vAIpha vagara mane ophise gamatuM nathI. alyA, eka vAra hAthamAM paru thAya to tuM cATuM ? nahIM to zuM joIne strImAM moha pAme che ?! AkhuM zarIra paruthI ja bhareluM che. A poTalI zAnI che, enA vicAra nA Ave ? bhale AcAra nA chuTe paNa vicAra to nA Avavo joIe ? manuSyane enI strI para prema che, enA karatAM bhUMDane bhUMDaNa para vadhAre prema che. A te kaMI prema kahevAto haze ? A to pAzavatA che narI ! prema to konuM nAma ke je prema vadhe nahIM, ghaTe nahIM e prema kahevAya. A to badhI Asakti che. vadhI gaI to Asakti ne ghaTI gaI e vikarSaNa zakti. jo eriMga sArAM lAvI ApyAM, hIrAnA kApa sArA lAvI ApyA to baI AsaktimAM ne AsaktimAM khuza, ne nA lAvI ApyA to, 'tame AvA cho, tame tema cho," te pachI jhaghaDA nathI thatAM ? matabheda nathI thatAM baLyA ?! AmAM zuM sukha che, te paDI rahyA cho ? zuM mAnyuM che tame ? anaMta avatArathI bhaTaka bhaTaka karo cho, te haju bhaTakavAno Page #32 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya zo zokha paDyo che tamane ? zuM thayuM che tamane ? vItarAga bhagavAnanA bhaktone ya ciMtA ? jyAre zAstra vAMce, teTalo vakhata jarAka mahIM ThaMDaka rahe. te ya pAchuM vAMcatA vAMcatA yAda to mahIM AvI jAya ke Aje kArakhAnAmAM to pelI bArasonI khoTa gaI che. te ene kaiDe hau pAchuM !!! Akho dahADo kaiDa, kaiDa ne kaiDa. aMdara peluM kaiDe ne bahAra mAkaNa, macchara je hoya te kaiDe. rasoDAmAM bAI kaiDe. meM eka jaNane pUchyuM, 'kema kaMTALI gayA cho ?" tyAre e kahe ke, 'A baI sApaNanI peTha kaiDe che.' evI ya bairI keTalAMka lokone maLe che ne ?! Akho dahADo 'tame AvA ne tame tevA' karyA kare, te jaMpIne khAvA ya nA de bicArAne ! have e bAI zuM sukha ApI devAnI che ? e kaMI 'paramenanTa' sukha Ape ? to zA sAru pote dabAyelo besI rahe che ? viSaya bhUkhyo che eTale. nahIM to nirviSayIne DarAvanAra koNa ?! eka viSaya mATe paDI rahevAnuM ane potAnI svataMtratA khovAnI ? bairI-chokarAnI jaMjALa ane te anaMta avatAra bagADI nAkhe. je AmAMthI kudaratI rIte chUTyo, tenI to vAta ja zI karavAnI ? 6 AkhI dutiyAto e eMThavADo ! bAkI viSayabhoga e to naryo eMThavADo ja che. AkhI duniyAno eMThavADo che. AtmAno Avo khorAka te hoto haze ? AtmAne bahAranI kazI vastunI jarUra nathI, nirAlaMba che. koI avalaMbananI ene jarUra nathI. paramAtmA ja che pote. nirAlaMba anubhavamAM Ave, eTale paramAtmA thaI ja gayo !!! ene kazuM ja aDe nahIM. bhIMtonI ArapAra cAlyo jAya evo AtmA aMdara che, anaMta sukhanuM dhAma che ! A khokhAne ApaNe zuM karavAnuM ? khokhuM to kAle saDI jAya, paDI jAya, kohavAI jAya, khokhuM to zAnuM baneluM che ? e ApaNe nathI jANatA ? chatAM loko bhUlI jAya che ne ? bhUlI jatAM haze loko ? paNa A khokhuM tamane ya bhUlathApa khavaDAvI de. amAre jJAnI puruSane Ama ArapAra dekhAya. kapaDAM badhuM hoya chatAM kapaDAMnI mahIM, cAmaDInI mahIM jema che tema yathAvata dekhAya. pachI rAga kyAM thAya ? pote eka AtmA ja samajathI prApta brahmacarya jue ne bIjo badho to A kacaro che, saDelo mAla che. emAM zuM jovA jevuM che ?! tyAM ja rAga thAya che. e ja ajAyabI che ne ! pote nathI jANato ? jANe che badhuM ja, paNa ene AvI samaja ApI nathI. jJAnIoe mAla pahelethI ja joyelo che. AmAM navuM zuM che te ? pAcho vahunI joDe sUI jAya che. alyA, A mAMsane ja dAbIne sUI jAya che ?! paNa e to bhAna nathI ne ! enuM nAma ja moha ne ?! amane niraMtara jAgRti hoya, evarI sekanDa jAgRti hoya, eTale ame badhuM jANIe ke naryuM mAMsa ja che A badhuM. 8 have AvI vAta koI karatuM nathI ne ? kAraNa lokone viSaya game che. eTale A vAta kADhe nahIM ne koI ! je nirviSayI che e ja A vAta kADhe, nahIM to AvuM khulam khulluM koNa kahe ? chevaTe to A badhuM choDvA vagara chUTako ja nathI. tame amane kaho ke mAre brahmacaryavrata levuM che. to ame hA pADIe. zAthI ? ke bhaI bahu sAruM che bA, kharo sukhI thavAno mArga A che, jo udaya tamAro hoya to. nahIM to paiNo. paiNIne anubhavo. eka phero anubhava thayo eTale pachI bIjA avatAramAM chUTI jaze. praznakartA : ko'ka chUTI jAya, nahIM to bAkI chUTavuM muzkela che. dAdAzrI : e anubhavane noMdha kare to chUTe. ame to kSaNe kSaNe noMdha karavAvALA. praznakartA : evo to ko'ka ja noMdha karavAvALo hoya. nahIM to kIcaDamAM Utarato ja jAya. dAdAzrI : hA, e to kAdava ja che, UMDo kAdava che. emAM Utarato ja jAya. rIsarca to nirviSayI hoya te karI zake. viSayI mANasa rIsarca karI zake ja nahIM. sukhanAM sAdhana ke azucinuM saMgrahasthAta ? jyAM bhrAMtirasamAM jagata tadAkAra paDyuM che. bhrAMtirasa eTale kharekhara rasa nathI, chatAM mAnI beTho che ! zuM ya mAnI beTho che !! e sukhano phoDa Page #33 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya pADavA jAya ne, to narI UlaTIo thAya !!! A zarIranI rAkhoDI thAya che ane e rAkhoDInAM paramANuthI pharI zarIra baMdhAya che. te anaMta avatAranI rAkhoDInAM A pariNAma che. naryo eMThavADo che ! A to eMThavADAno eMThavADo ne teno ya eMThavADo !! enI e ja rAkhoDI, enA e ja paramANu badhA, enuM pharI pharI baMdhAyA kare che !!! vAsaNane bIje dahADe ajavALIe eTale e dekhAya cokhkhAM paNa ajavALyA vagara emAM ja roja roja khA khA kare to gaMdavADo nathI ? pudgalanA je guNo che ne, je sthULa guNo ke je AMkhe dekhAya evA che, kAnathI saMbhaLAya, Ama sparzathI anubhavamAM Ave, nAkane sugaMdha Ape, jIbhane svAda Ape evA che. pudgalanA guNo ane A prAkRtika guNo be bhegA thayA che. prAkRtika guNo e mizra cetananA che ane pudgalanA je guNo che, e badhuM bheguM thaIne A lohI-parune A badhuM UbhuM thaI gayuM ne saMsAra Ubho thaI gayo che. tethI A jagata badhuM mUMjhAyuM che. potAnI ajJAnatAne laIne ene A badhI azucinuM bhAna rahetuM nathI ne bhAna nathI rahetuM eTale A saMsAra Ubho rahyo che. rAte jalebI khAya che, te savAramAM jalebInI zI dazA thaze ? evuM bhAna rahe che lokone ? zAthI bhAna nathI rahetuM ? kAraNa pudgalanA guNamAM ja anurAga che ene. A to pudgala che, A pUraNa thayuM che ane peluM galana thAya che evuM bhAna ja nathI ne ? jyAre galana thAya che, savAranA pahoramAM tyAre cItarI caDhe che ?! alyA, beu pudgala ja che. beu pudgalanA ja guNo che, paNa ene azicanuM bhAna nathI eTale jalebI khAtI vakhate TesTathI bhogave che ne ?! praznakartA : AtmA ne pudgalano saMyoga thAya eTale darekane Ama ja thAya ne ? dAdAzrI : nA, paNa ene bhrAMti che tyAM sudhI ja. bAkI 'huM koNa chuM' enuM bhAna nathI rahyuM eTale bebhAnapaNe AvuM cAlyA kare che. bhAna thayA pachI pote chUTo paDI gayo. pachI ene viSayasukha moLAM lAge. jalebI 10 samajathI prApta brahmacarya khAdhA pachI cA pIdhelI ? to moLI lAge ne ? pachI ApaNe cAmAM ghaNo TesTa karavA jaIe, paNa TesTa nA bese. evuM A jagata asaravALuM che !!! are, Ama sarasa dUdhapAka khAdho hoya, te ya UlaTI karI nAkhe to kevo dekhAya ? rUpALuM hAthamAM jhalAya evuM dekhAya ? hamaNAM mahIM reDyuM hatuM te ja pAchuM nIkaLyuM, te hAthamAM kema nA jhalAya ? eTale A mahIM azucinuM saMgrahasthAna che. mahIM reDatAMnI sAthe ja azuica thaI jAya che. vADako cokhkho hoya, dUdhapAka sAro hoya paNa mahIM reDIe, ne eno e ja dUdhapAka pachI UlaTI karIne Ape ke pharI pI jAva, to nA pI jAya ne kaheze, je thavAnuM haze te thaze, paNa nahIM pIuM. eTale A badhuM bhAna rahetuM nathI ne !!! sAco kerIno bhoga, viSaya karatAM ! A jalebI nIce dhULamAM paDI hoya. pachI e Ape ke khAI jAva to khAya ke nA khAya ? nA. kema ? Ama moDhAmAM to gaLI lAge che to ya ? joIne ja nA pADI de ne ? Ama rUpALI kerI hoya paNa khATI nIkaLI to ? to ya kaheze, nA, nathI khAvI. eTale ATaluM badhuM A loko joIne khAya che. jIbha nA pADe to ya pheMkI de, AMkha ekalI nA pADe to ya nA pADI de che, nAka ekaluM nA pADe to ya choDI de che. eTale AmAM pAMceya indriyo khuza thAya tyAre e vastune khAya che. paNa A viSaya ekalo evo che ke badhI indriyane e gamatuM ja nathI. chatAM 'ene' viSayamAM majhA Ave che, e ya ajAyabI che ne !! pAMca indriyanA viSayamAM eka jIbhano viSaya ekalo sAco viSaya che. bIjA badhA to banAvaTa che. zuddha viSaya hoya to A ekalo ja ! pharsTa klAsa hAphUsanI kerIo hoya, te kevo svAda Ave ?! bhrAMtimAM jo kadI zuddha viSaya hoya to ATalo ja che. cokhkho khorAka maLato hoya ne eno svAda bebharamo na thayo hoya, to e viSaya svIkArAya evo che. che to A paNa kalpita ja, paNa UMcAmAM UMcuM kalpita che. AnI mahIM vicAraNA karIe to ghRNA nA chUTe ne viSayamAM to vicAra karIe to ghRNA chUTe. Page #34 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 11 | viSayomAM bhoga che ja nahIM, paNa mAne che ke A bhoga che. bhogamAM to pAMce ya indriyo khuza hoya. A kerI e bhoga kahevAya. enI sugaMdha sArI hoya, sparza ya sAro hoya, svAda paNa Ave, AMkhane Ama game. jyAre A viSayamAM to kazuM che ja nahIM. e to phUlsa pereDAIjha che. viSayamAM koI indriya khuza thatI nathI. AMkho ya aMdhAruM khoLe. kerI jovA mATe AMkho aMdhAruM khoLe ? nAka kahe ke DUcA mArI do ? mANaso gaMdhAtAM haze kharAM ? be dahADA nA nahAya to zuM thAya ? A kerI jevA gaMdhAya ? eTale A viSayo to nAkane jarAya nA game, AMkhane ya nA game. jIbhanI to vAta ja zI karavI ?! UlaTI Ave evuM hoya che. A kerI bagaDe che. pachI soDe to game ? bagaDelI kerIne aDavAnuM, sparza karavAnuM game ? eTale tyAM pachI bhogavavAnuM ja kyAM hoya ? koI indriyo eksepTa karatI nathI, chatAM A viSaya bhogave che, e ajAyabI che ne ?! A vicAra karajo badhu. temane bAvo banAvavA nathI Avyo. A khoTI mAnyatA keTalI badhI ghUsI gaI che, te kADhavAnI jarUra che. viSaya saMbaMdhamAM vigatavAra samajI levAmAM Ave to viSaya raheto ja nathI. amArI rIte koIne ya nA samajAya ane kahIe to bIje dahADe bhUlI jAya. bAkI viSaya e vicAryA vagaranI vAta che. A loko dekhAdekhIthI emAM paDyA che. khAlI lokasaMjJA che e ane jJAnInI saMjJA, jo kadI jJAnIne pUchayuM hoya to AmAM koI paDe ja nahIM. eka paNa indriya Ane 'pAsa' nA kare. eTale jJAnIoe kaheluM ke jyAM sukha nathI, tyAM kyAM sukha mAnI beThA cho ? paNa A viSayamAM ene mUrchA bahu che. eTale mUrchAne lIdhe ene bhAna nathI rahetuM. sarva Indriyoe vakhoDaDyo viSaya viSaya e saMDAsa che. nAka, kAnamAMthI, moDhAmAMthI badhethI je je nIkaLe che, e badhuM saMDAsa ja che. DiscArja e ya saMDAsa ja che. je pAriNAmika bhAga che, te saMDAsa che paNa tanmayAkAra thayA vagara galana thatuM nathI. saMDAsa thAya che, te paNa mahIM kaoNjhIjha thAya che, tenuM pariNAma che. dUdhapAka-pUrI kone nA game ? paNa bhagavAna kahe che kAla savAre e saMDAsa thaze. viSayane saMDAsa 12 samajathI prApta brahmacarya zAthI kahyo ? eTalA mATe ja ke e galana thAya che. vicAravAna mANasa viSayamAM sukha zI rIte mAnI beTho che, tenI ja mane navAI lAge che ! viSayanAM pRthakkaraNa kare to kharajavAne valUravA jevuM che. amane to khUba khUba vicAra Ave ne thAya ke arere ! anaMta avatAra AnuM A ja karyuM ?! jeTaluM ApaNane nathI gamatuM, te badhuM ja viSayamAM che. narI gaMdha che. AMkhane jovuM nA game. nAkane suMghavuM nA game. te suMghI joyuM'tuM ? sUMghI jovuM hatuM ne ? to vairAga to Ave. kAnane ruce nahIM. phakta cAmaDIne ce. loka to khokhAne jue, mAlane nA jue. khokhAmAM to je cIja nathI gamatI, te ja cIjo bharelI che. naryo durgadhano kothaLo che ! paNa mohane lIdhe bhAna nathI rahetuM ne tethI to jagata AkhuM cakkare caDhyuM che. A vAMdarA sTezananI khADI Ave che, tenI gaMdha game ? ethI paNa bUrI gaMdha A khokhAmAM che. AMkhane nA game evA citra-vicitra pArTasa mahIM che. A kothaLAmAM to pAra vagarano vicitra gaMdavADo che. A ApaNI mahIM hRdaya che. te ja loco kADhIne ApaNA hAthamAM mUke to ? ane kahe ke joDe hAthamAM rAkhIne sUI jA, to ? UMgha ja nA Ave ne ? A to dariyAnA vicitra jIvaDA jevuM dekhAya. je nathI gamatuM e badhuM ja A dehamAM che. A AMkho Ama bahu rUpALI dekhAtI hoya, paNa motiyo Avyo ne e dhoLI AMkho dekhI hoya to ? nA game. o hoho ! vadhAremAM vadhAre duHkha AmAM che. A dArU je kepha kare che, e dArUnI gaMdha mANasane gamatI nathI ane A viSaya to sarva gaMdhanuM kAraNa che. badhI ja nA gamatI vastuo tyAM che. have zuM haze A ajAyabI ?! AmAMthI chUTyA eTale pachI rAjA. bhUkhyA ja nA hoya, tene zuM ? bhUkhyo hoya, te hoTalomAM pese ne ?! jyAM ne tyAM DAphoDiyuM mAre, paNa je jamyo che. jamIne nirAMte phare che, rasa-roTalI khaIne phare che, e zAnA hAru tyAM hoTalomAM pese ? gaMdavADAvALI hoTalo ! viSayane UMDo vicAravAthI e ja lAge ke A gaTara to ughADavA jevI ja nathI. keTaluM badhuM baMdhana ! A jagata tethI ja UbhuM rahyuM che ne !! buddhithI vicAryuM viSayate kadi ? viSaya to mUoM ya nA cAhe evI vastu che. buddhino saMpUrNa prakAza Page #35 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya thayelo hoya, buddhino vikAsa pAmelo hoya, te paNa viSayathI Dare bicAro. kAraNa ke viSaya e to sAva gAMDAmAM gAMDI vastu jevuM che. A kALamAM, A to baLatarAne laIne viSayanA kAdavamAM paDe che. nahIM to koI kAdavamAM paDe nahIM ne ! bahu baLatarA hoya, tyAre mANasa zuM kare ? eTale UMdho upAya kare. viSaya jo vicAravAmAM Ave to vicAraka mANasane e game ja nahIM. eTale buddhithI ya viSaya chUTe evo che. temAM pachI jJAnane ane Ane zI levAdevA ?! viSaya para jo vicAra karyo hotane, to ene viSaya to bilakula gamata ja nahIM. cokhkhI buddhivALAne viSayanuM pRthakkaraNa karI ApavAnuM kahIe to, 'viSaya thaMkavA jevI paNa vastu nathI.' ema kahe. eTale cokhkhI buddhi hoya, ene to viSaya game ja nahIM. e aDe ja nahIM ne ! paNa buddhimAM maLa jAmI gayelo hoya, tene to badhuM UMdhuM ja dekhAya. praznakartA: A manuSya jAtimAM brahmacarya rahe nahIM, enuM zuM kAraNa ? moha che ? rAga che ? dAdAzrI : buddhipUrvakanuM sukha nathI A. avicAryuM sukha che. lokoe mAnyuM, e ApaNe ya mAnyuM. e mAnyatAnuM ja sukha che khAlI ane jalebI sukhadAyI che e buddhipUrvakanuM sukha che. viSaya e to buddhipUrvakano khela nathI, A to manano khAlI AmaLo ja che. koI paNa buddhizALI mANasa jo buddhithI viSayane samajavA jAya to buddhi viSayane leTa go kare nahIM. A buddhizALIo leTa go kare che, enuM zuM kAraNa ? lokanI saMjJA pramANe cAle, eTale pelI bAjunuM AvaraNa tUTyuM nathI, eka jaNe kahyuM ke buddhipUrvakamAM zuM vAMdho che ? tyAre meM kahyuM, buddhipUrvakanI cIjo ajavALAmAM karavAnI hoya. sIsI(khAnagI) nA hoya. hajAra mANasanI hAjarImAM besIne jalebI khavAya ? jalebImAM vAMdho nahIM ne ? ene zarama nA Ave ? praznakartA : nA. zarama nA Ave, rophathI khavAya ! dAdAzrI : eTale viSayane jo mANasa vicAre ke, jo vicAra karatAM samajathI prApta brahmacarya AvaDe ne, to e viSaya bhaNI koI divasa jAya ja nahIM. paNa vicAra karatAM ja nathI AvaDatuM ne ?! viSaya e ajAgRti che. viSaya poSAya ja kema karIne ? je vicAra karIne game evI vastuo nathI, te ja vastuno saMbaMdha kema poSAya ? taryo gaMdavADo dekhAya viSayamAM ! have keTalAMka loko cAritra levA mAMDyA che. kAraNa ke viSayamAM eTalo badho gaMdavADo che ke jeno nibaMdha lakhavo hoya to nibaMdha lakhatAM ja cItarI caDhe. A to ThIka che, eka jAtanI hebiTa paDI gaI che. mULa ajJAnatAmAM, bebhAnapaNAmAM cuMthAro cUMthyo. have bhAna thayA pachI zuM kaMTALo nA Ave ? A tadana gaMdavADAnuM sukha choDavAnuM che. e to gaMdavADo dekhIne ja choDI devAnuM che. jo A viSayanuM sukha choDI de, to AkhI duniyAno mAlika thaI jAya. kharekhara to e sukha ja na hoya. A jalebImAM sukha kahevAya, zrIkhaMDamAM sukha kahevAya, emAM nA na kahevAya. paNa A viSayamAM to sukha ja na hoya. mane to A viSayano eTalo badho gaMdavADo dekhAya ke mane Ama ne Ama saheje e bAjuno vicAra nA Ave. mane viSayano koI dahADo vicAra ja nathI Avato. meM eTaluM badhuM joI nAkheluM, eTaluM badhuM joyeluM ke mane mANasa ArapAra dekhAya evuM joyeluM. viSayanuM jo pRthakkaraNamAM Ave, jJAnathI nahIM paNa buddhithI, to ya mANasa gAMDo thaI jAya. A to badhuM aNasamajaNathI UbhuM che. DuMgaLInI gaMdha kone Ave ? je DuMgaLI khAya tene gaMdha nA Ave. je DuMgaLI nA khAto hoya tene tarata ja gaMdha Ave. viSayomAM paDyo che tethI viSayomAM gaMdavADo samajAto nathI. eTale viSaya chaTato nathI ne rAga karyA kare che. e ya bebhAnapaNAno rAga che. AtmA eka ja mAMsa svarUpa nathI. bIjuM badhuM naryuM mAMsa ja che ne ?! jema AhArI AhAra kare che, tema viSayI viSaya kare che. paNa vAta samajavI joIe ne ? ane e lakSamAM rahevuM joIe ne ? AhAra to roja sarasa khAto hoya, paNa cAra dahADAno bhUkhyo hoya to lIMTa paDelo Page #36 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 15 gaMdo roTalo ya khAze. A khorAka to sAro hoya che, paNa A viSaya to ethI ya gaMdavADo che. bhUkhanI baLatarAne laIne gaMdo roTalo khAya che. evI A baLatarAne laIne viSaya bhogave che. paNa A gaMdo roTalo khAtI vakhate 'cAlaze' kahe che. paNa pharI khAvAnI icchA rahe che ? nA ! e to pharI khAvAnI icchA koIne ya nA hoya. paNa viSayamAM evuM rahetuM nathI ne ? viSayamAM paNa evuM rahevuM joIe. A musalamAna mAMsAhAra kare, te rAjIkhuzIthI kare che ne ? ane tamane mAMsAhAra karavAno kahyo hoya to ? cItarI caDhe ne ? enuM zuM kAraNa ? kAraNa ke mAMsAhAra karanAranuM DevalapamenTa juduM che ane tamAruM DevalapamenTa juduM che. jema jema DevalapamenTa UMcuM caDhatuM jAya, tema tema saMsAranI vastu para cItarI caDhatI jAya. A viSaya para cItarI caDhatI nathI ne ? paNa e to bIjI badhI gaMdI vastu karatAM ya vadhAre bhUMDuM che. chatAM lokone AnI khabara paDatI nathI. eTale keTalI badhI DevalapamenTanI kacAza che. A jiyAmAM parasevo paDato hoya evuM dekhe che chatAM khAya che, to e DevalapamenTa keTaluM kAcuM ?! kAraNa ke A gaMdavADo samajAyo ja nathI. A zarIra Ama rUpALuM lAge che paNa A gaMjIpharAka kADhIne moDhAmAM ghAlo tyAre khabara paDe ke e kevuM che ! e kevuM lAge ? khAruM lAge ne ? gaMdhAya ! jenI joDe UbhAM rahetAM ya gaMdha mAre che, tyAM enI joDe viSaya zI rIte Ubho thAya che ? A keTalI badhI bhrAMti che !!! sAcuM sukha zemAM ? mANasane roMga bilipha che ke viSayamAM sukha che. have viSayathI ya UMcuM sukha maLe to viSayamAM sukha nA lAge ! viSayamAM sukha nathI paNa dehadhArIne vyavahAramAM chUTako ja nahIM. bAkI jANI joIne gaTaranuM DhAMkaNuM koNa khole ? viSayamAM sukha hoya to cakravartIo ATalI badhI rANIo hovA chatAM sukhanI zodhamAM nA nIkaLata ! A jJAnathI evuM UMcuM sukha maLe che. chatAM A jJAna pachI tarata viSaya jatAM nathI, paNa dhIme dhIme jatAM rahe. chatAM paNa pote vicAravuM to joIe ke A viSayo e keTalo gaMdavADo che ! puruSane strI che evuM dekhAya te puruSamAM roga hoya to 'strI che' 16 samajathI prApta brahmacarya evuM dekhAya. puruSamAM roga nA hoya to strI nA dekhAya. jJAnIone ArapAra draSTi hoya. jevuM che tevuM dekhAya. evuM dekhAya to pachI viSaya rahe ? enuM nAma jJAna. jJAna eTale ArapAra jema che tema dekhAvuM. A hAphUsanI kerI hoya to te viSayanI ame nA na pADIe. ene jo kApe to lohI nA dekhAya, to e nirAMte khA. A to kApe to lohI nIkaLe, paNa enI jAgRti rahetI nathI ne ? tethI mAra khAya che. tethI A saMsAra Ubho rahyo che. A jJAnathI jAgRti pachI dhIme dhIme vadhatI jAya, viSaya khalAsa thato jAya. mAre baMdha karavAnuM kahevuM nA paDe. enI meLe ja tamAre baMdha thatuM jAya. haMmezAM duSamakALamAM mANasanAM mana kevAM hoya, ke 'kAlathI khAMDa nahIM maLe' evuM kahyuM ke badhA doDadhAma karIne khAMDa laI Avaze. eTale mana vAMkAM cAle evAM che. eTale ame badhI chUTa ja ApI che. duSamakALamAM manane baMdhana karIe ke Ama karo to mana avaLuM cAlyA vagara rahe nahIM. A duSamakALano svabhAva che ke jo aTakAvIe to UlaTuM joza karIne emAM ja paDe. eTale A kALamAM amArA nimitte akrama UbhuM thayuM, te koI jAtanuM aTakAvavAnuM ja nahIM. eTale pachI mana juvAna thatuM ja nathI, mana dhaiDuM thaI jAya che. paiDuM thAya eTale nirbaLa thAya, pachI khalAsa thaI jAya. juvAna to kyAre thAya, ke aTakAvIe to. tRpta thayelo mANasa viSayanA gaMdavADAmAM hAtha ghAle ja nahIM. A to mahIM tRpti nathI. tethI A gaMdavADAmAM phasAI paDyA che. vItarAgonuM vijJAna e ja tRptine lAvanAra che. keTalAMya avatArathI gaNIe to ya puruSo ATa ATalI strIone paiNyA ane strIo puruSone paiNI to ya haju ene viSayano moha tUTato nathI. tyAre Ano kyAre pAra Ave te ?! enAM karatAM thaI jAva ekalAM eTale bhAMjagaDa ja maTI gaIne ?! cAlI rahyAM kyAM ? dizA kaI ? A injina hoya che, to koI mANasa injinamAM tela reDyA karato hoya tene injina calAya calAya karato hoya, evuM varasa dahADA sudhI karyA karato hoya to AjubAjunA loko zuM kahe ene ? 'alyA, injinane kaMI Page #37 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 17 samajathI prApta brahmacarya paTTo nAkhIne kAma karAvI le ne !' evuM ApaNA loko jIvana jIvavA sAru khorAka khAya che, paNa pachI paTTo ja nathI ApatA ! eTale A mazIna pAsethI bIjuM kAma karAvI levuM ke nA karAvI levuM? tame zuM karAvI levAnuM nakkI karyuM che ? kaMI sadgati thAya, mokSa thAya eTalA mATe paTTo ApavAno che, jIvana jIvIne kAma kADhI levAnuM che. ApaNe lokone pUchIe tame zA sAru khAva cho ? to kaheze, jIvana jIvavA sAru ane pUchIe ke jIvana zenA sAru jIvo cho ? tyAre kaheze, ke mane khabara nathI ! alyA, A te kaI jAtanuM ? zAne mATe jIvana jIvavAnuM che ? te ya khabara nathI ne chokarAMnAM kArakhAnAM kADhyAM che !! A jIvana kaMI chokarAnAM kArakhAnAM mATe haze ? chokarAnA kArakhAnAM e to svAbhAvika che, paNa emAM zuM dahADo vaLyo ? chokarAM to, paiNyA eTale thayA ja kare ne ? kUtarAMne ya chokarAM thayA kare che. e to vagara bhaNelAM che, to ya chokarAM thAya che. A kutarAM kaMI bhaNelAM che ? to emane chokarAM nahIM thatAM hoya ? emaNe ya lagana kareluM hoya. emane ya vAIpha hoya che ne ? eTale kaMIka samajavuM to paDaze ne ? tuM enjinIyara pAsa thayo eTale tArI pAse zuM thayuM ? meInTenansanI tArI pAse sagavaDa thaI. tAre have enjina cAluM rahevAnuM. peTrola ne oIla mATe sagavaDa badhI taiyAra thaI gaI. tAre have A enjina pAse zuM kAma kaDhAvI levuM che ? ApaNo kaMIka hetu to hovo joIe ne ? A nokarI-dhaMdhA kare che, rUpiyA kamAya che, chatAM A rUpiyA to Akho dahADo ciMtA na karAvaDAve ane kharAba vicAra ja Ava Ava kare. konuM bhogavI lauM, konuM laI lauM, badhuM aNahakkanuM bhogavyA kare ne pachI narkamAM javuM paDe. tyAM bhayaMkara du:kho bhogavavAM paDe. A sukho e to uchInA lIdhelAM sukha kahevAya ane uchInA sukha le, te keTalA dahADA cAle ? narkagatimAM vyAja sAthe vALavuM paDe. enA karatAM uchInuM sukhe ya nA joIe ne ApaNe peluM du:khe ya nA joIe. bIjuM badhuM khAva nirAMte. jalebI khAva, cA pIvo ! samajo brahmacaryanI kamANI.. praznakartA : brahmacaryanA phAyadA zuM thAya ? 18 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : A abrahmacaryanA zuM phAyadA thayA tamane, e kaho pahelAM. bAbA-bebalI thayAM. ocho phAyado kaMI e to, naryo vyApAra ja che ne, napho ja thayo ne ! hindustAnamAM ghaNAM loko rahe che. "kema zuM che bhaI ? tamAre zI aDacaNa AvI ?' huM jaina vANiyo, mArI choDI suthArane tyAM bhAgIne jatI rahIne ene paiNI. te jo svAda AvyA ne ! kevo mITho svAda Avyo ?! pachI gharanA badhAne manamAM ema thAya ke AthI A choDI nA hota to sAruM ! praznakartA : paNa brahmacarya zuM phAyadA mATe pALavuM joIe ? dAdAzrI : ApaNe ahIM AgaLa kaMI vAgyuM ne lohI nIkaLyuM hoya, to pachI baMdha kema karIe chIe ? zuM phAyado ? praznakartA : bahu lohI jatuM nA rahe. dAdAzrI : lohI jatuM rahe to zuM thAya ? praznakartA : zarIramAM bahu vikanesa AvI jAya. dAdAzrI : to A baha abrahmacaryathI ja vinesa AvI jAya. A badhA roga ja abrahmacaryanA che. kAraNa ke badhA khorAka je khAva cho, pIvo cho, zvAsa lo cho, e badhAnuM pariNAma thatuM, thatuM, thatuM enuM... jema A dudhanuM dahIM karIe, e dahIM e chelluM pariNAma nathI. dahIMnuM vaLI pAchuM. e thatAM thatAM pAchuM mAkhaNa thAya, mAkhaNanuM ghI thAya, ghI e chelluM pariNAma che. evuM AmAM brahmacarya e pudgalasAra che Akho ! A lohI nIkaLI jAya to vAMdho nahIM, paNa pudgalasAra nIkaLI jAya to muzkelI, bahu nukasAnakAraka. atyAra sudhI pUraNa karyuM, eno sAra zuM ? tyAre kahe, e sAcavo nahIM to mANasapaNuM jatuM raheze. sArAmAM sAra che e. tattvano tattvArka che, arka ocho vaparAya to sAruM ke vadhAre vaparAya to ? praznakartA : ocho vaparAya to sAruM. kakasara karo vIrya te lakSmItI ! eTale A jagatamAM be vastu na veDaphavI joIe. eka lakSmI ane Page #38 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 19 bIjuM vIrya. jagatanI lakSmI gaTaromAM ja jAya che. eTale lakSmI potAne mATe nA vaparAvI joIe, vagarakAmano durupayoga nA thavo joIe ane brahmacarya bane tyAM sudhI pALavuM joIe. je khorAka khAIe chIe, teno arka thaIne chelle e abrahmacaryathI khalAsa thaI jAya che. A zarIramAM amuka naso hoya che, te vIrya sAcave che ane te vIrya A zarIrane sAcave che. eTale bane tyAM sudhI brahmacarya sAcavavuM joIe. brahmacaryano rivAja to ekalA manuSyanI ja nAtamAM che ne ! parANe upadeza ApIne brahmacArI banAve che. chatAM e phaLa Ape eTale A cAlavA dIdheluM. kharekhara to brahmacarya e samajIne pALavA jevuM che. brahmacaryanuM phaLa jo mokSa nA maLatuM hoya e brahmacarya badhuM khasI karyA jevuM ja che. chatAM enAthI zarIra sAruM thAya, majabUta thAya, dekhAvaDA thAya, vadhAre jIve ! baLada paNa hRSTapuSTa thaIne rahe che ne ?! baLadane paNa zakti bahu rahe che, tethI to e khetara kheDavAnA kAmamAM Ave che ne ?! ApaNe koIne vagovatA nathI, paNa vAtane sArabhUta samajI levAnI che ! phorenanA dezanI hajAranI noTa hoya to ahIM insyiAmAM enI eksacenja kiMmata doDhaso rUpiyA ja thatI hoya. eTale hajAranI sAme kaMI hajAra rUpiyA gaNIne na apAya. eTale evuM ApaNe tapAsa karIe ke A vastunI eksacenjanI kiMmata zuM che ? A brahmacarya kevuM ? ane kharuM brahmacarya kevuM hoya ?! je brahmacaryathI mokSa thAya, e brahmacarya kAmanuM ! akrama vijJAta pamADe mokSa ! chatAM A vijJAna game tene, paiNelAne ya mokSe laI jaze. paNa jJAnInI AjJA pramANe cAlavuM joIe. ko'ka magajanI khumArIvALo hoya, te kaheze, sAheba huM bIjI paiNavA mAguM chuM.' tAruM jora joIe. pahelAM zuM nahotA paiNatA ? bharata rAjAne teraso rANIo hatI, to ya mokSe gayA ! jo rANIo naDatI hoya to mokSe jAya kharA ? to zuM naDe che ? ajJAna naDe che. ATalA badhA mANaso che, temane kahyuM hota ke strIo choDI do. to e badhA strIo kyAre choData ? ane kyAre emano pAra Avata ? eTale kahyuM, strIo cho rahI ane bIjI paiNavI hoya to mane pUchIne paiNaje, nahIM to pUchayA vagara nA paiNazo. jo chUTa ApI che ne badhI ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya karmane AdhIna strI-puruSa thayAM. eka jhADa upara paMkhIo badhAM nakkI karIne bese che ? nA ! tevI rIte A badhAM eka kuTuMbamAM janme. koI nakkI karyA vagara ja karmanAM udaye ja badhAM gharanAM loka bhegAM thAya ne pAchAM vikharAI paNa jAya. ApaNA lokoe ene eDajasTamenTa laIne, vyavasthita kareluM. eTale ke A chokaro che, eTale AnI para putrabhAva AvatA hoya. bIjuM, bahena nA bhAva AvatA hoya, strInA bhAva AvatA hoya. atyAre ApaNAmAM e bhAva vikRta thayelA che. bAkI pahelA bahenano bhAva Ave to bIjo bhAva ja utpanna nA thAya. bahena kahe eTale bahena ja. mA eTale mA. bIjo vicAra nA Ave. paNa atyAre to badhe bagaDI ja gayuM che. 20 ATaluM Avazyaka - brahmacaryanA kenDIDeTane ! A to 'jema che tema' nahIM dekhAvAthI mUrchA thAya che. jyAM sudhI strIne 'jema che tema' ArapAra nA joI zake, tyAM sudhI vijhana khulluM nA thAya. jyAre mana viSayamAM khulluM thaze tyAre vijhana khulaze athavA to varasa dahADo brahmacarya pALe ne viSayano vicAra paNa nA Ave, to vijhana khulluM thAya. pharsTa vijhane nekeDa dekhAya, sekanDa vijhane cAmaDI UtarelI dekhAya ne chelle ArapAra dekhAya tyAre vijhana khIle. bIje draSTi bagaDe to to e bahu adhogatinI nizAnI kahevAya. lagna thayeluM che ke nathI thayeluM ? praznakartA : nathI thayuM. dAdAzrI : to lagna karI nAkho ne ? praznakartA : lagna karavAnI icchA ja nathI thatI mane. dAdAzrI : ema ? to lagna karyA vagara cAlaze ? praznakartA : hA, mAre to brahmacaryanI ja bhAvanA che. ene mATe kazI zakti Apo, samajaNa pADo. dAdAzrI : enA mATe bhAvanA karavI paDe. tAre roja bolavuM ke, 'he Page #39 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 22 samajathI prApta brAhmacarya dAdA bhagavAna ! mane brahmacarya pALavAnI zakti Apo !' ane pelo viSayano vicAra utpanna thatAM ja kADhI nAkhavo. nahIM to enuM bIja paDe. e bIja be dahADA thAya to to mArI ja nAkhe pachI. pharI Uge, eTale vicAra UgatAM ja ukhADIne pheMkI devo ane koI strI pratye draSTi nA mAMDavI. draSTi kheMcAya to khaseDI levI ne dAdAne yAda karI mAphI mAMgavI. A viSaya ArAdhavA jevo ja nathI evo bhAva niraMtara rahe eTale pachI khetara cokhkhuM thaI jAya. ane atyAre ya amArI nizrAmAM rahe to enuM badhuM pUruM thaI jAya. praznakartA : hA, barAbara. dAdAzrI : enA bhave ya badhA ogaLI jAya, keTalAMya bhavanA UbhA thayelAM lapharAM ya ogaLI jAya. haraiyA vicAra e to pAzavatA kahevAya. jue tyAM vicAra Ave, e hareyA Dhora jevuM kahevAya. enA karatAM ApaNe eka khIle bAMdhI devuM sAruM. strI e puruSanuM saMDAsa che ane puruSa e strInuM saMDAsa che. te saMDAsa jAo cho tyAre jAjarUmAM besI rahevAnuM mana thAya che ? tevuM A ya saMDAsa ja che. temAM zuM moha rAkhavAno hoya ?! viSaya viSayane bhogave che, e to paramANuno hisAba che. jene brahmacarya ja pALavuM che, eNe to saMyamane bahu rIte cakAsI jovo, tAvI jovo, ne jo lapasI paDAya tevuM lAge to paiNavuM sAruM. chatAM paNa te kaMTrolapUrvakanuM hovuM joIe. paiNanArIne kahI devuM paDe ke mAre AvuM kaMTrolapUrvakanuM che. jJAta kone vadhu rahe, bemAMthI ? praznakartA : paiNelAM hoya, e lokone jJAna moDuM Ave ne ? ane brahmacarya pALe che, e lokone jJAna vaheluM Ave ne ? dAdAzrI : nA. evuM kazuM nathI. paiNelAM hoya ane jo brahmacaryavrata le to AtmAnuM kevuM sukha che, e ene pUrepUruM samajAya. nahIM to tyAM samajathI prApta brahmacarya sudhI sukha viSayamAMthI Ave che ke AtmAmAMthI Ave che e samajAtuM nathI ane brahmacaryavrata hoya to, ene AtmAnuM sukha mahIM pAra vagaranuM varta. mana sAruM rahe, zarIra badhuM sAruM rahe !! praznakartA ane brahmacaryavrata paraNyA pahelAM jeNe lIdhuM hoya, ene kaI rItano anubhava thAya ? - dAdAzrI : Ane pUchI jo ne ! bahu sukha varte ane tethI ja badho bahu pheraphAra thaI gayo. praznakartA : to baMnene jJAnanI avasthA sarakhI hoya ke emAM phera hoya ? paiNelAnI ane brahmacaryavALAnI ? dAdAzrI : evuM che ne, brahmacaryavratavALo koI dahADo ya paDe nahIM. ene game tevI muzkelI Ave to ya paDe nahIM. pachI ene sephasAIDa kahevAya. zarIrano rAjA koNa ? brahmacarya to zarIrano rAjA che. jene brahmacarya hoya tenuM magaja to kevuM suMdara hoya. brahmacarya e to Akho pudgalano sAra che. praznakartA : A sAra asAra nathI thato ne ? dAdAzrI : nA, paNa e sAra UDI jAya, 'yujhalesa' thaI jAya ne !! e sAra hoya, enI vAta to judI ne ? mahAvIra bhagavAnane betALIsa varSa sudhI brahmacaryasAra hato. ApaNe je khorAka laIe chIe, e badhAno sArano sAra e vIrya che, e eksTrakaTa che. have ekasTrekaTa jo barobara sacavAI rahe to AtmA jaladI prApta thAya, sAMsArika du:kho nA Ave, zArIrika duHkho nA Ave, bIjAM koI duHkho Ave nahIM. praznakartA : paNa e zArIrika che ke ene AtmAnI sAthe paNa saMbaMdha dAdAzrI : nA, AtmAnI sAthe koI saMbaMdha nathI, e zArIrika che. Page #40 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya samajathI prApta brahmacarya 23 paNa A zarIra sAruM hoya to AtmA chUTe ne vahelo ? A zarIra nabaLuM hoya, eTale krodha-mAna-mAyA-lobha UbhAM thaI jAya. emAMthI baMdhana thAya. praznakartA : eTale ja zArIrika saMpatti sArI hoya, to krodha-mAnamAyA-lobha jarA ochAM utpanna thAya ema ? dAdAzrI: hA, paNa zArIrika saMpatti be prakAranI. eka to, puNyane laIne zArIrika saMpatti hoya ane bIjuM, peluM ekasTrekaTane laIne. ane evI ekasTrekTane laIne jo zArIrika saMpatti hoya to, enI to vAta ja judI ne ?! praznakartA: e ekasTrekaTanA hisAbe zArIrika saMpatti sArI rahe? dAdAzrI : hA, sarasa rahe. kazI aDacaNa ja nA Ave. koI jAtanI DiphekTa ja nA Ave. krodha-mAna-mAyA-lobhe ya utpanna nA thAya. praznakartA H brahmacarya e Atmasukha mATe kevI rIte helpa kare che ? dAdAzrI : bahu helpa kare. brahmacarya na hoya to dehabaLa ghaTyuM ke manobaLa khalAsa thaI jAya badhuM ane buddhi baLe ya khalAsa thaI jAya, ahaMkAra hau DhIlo thaI jAya. moTo DI.esa.pI. hoya, koI paiDo thayelo hoya to, DhIlo thaI jAya ke nahIM ? eTale e enuM teja kahevAya che, brahmacarya ! praznakartA : eTale A mana-buddhi-citta ane ahaMkAra, e badhA brahmacaryathI vadhAre sudraDha thAya che ? dAdAzrI : emAMthI ja UbhAM thayA che. abrahmacaryathI e badhAM marI jAya che. praznakartA brahmacarya e to anAtma bhAgamAM Ave ne ! dAdAzrI : hA, paNa e pudgalasAra che ! praznakartA to pudgalasAra che, e samayasArane helpa kaI rIte kare che ? dAdAzrI : e pudgalasAra hoya to ja samayasAra thAya, A, meM che to A jJAna ApyuM. ne e to akrama che eTale cAlyuM. bIjI jagyAe to cAle nahIM, pelA kramikamAM to pudgalasAra joIe ja, nahIM to yAde yu nA rahe kazuM ya. vANI bolatAM phAMphAM paDe. praznakartA : eTale A bene kaMI evo nimitta naimitika saMbaMdha kharo ? dAdAzrI : kharo ne ! kema nahIM ? mukhya vastu che e to ! brahmacarya hoya to pachI tamAruM dhAryuM hoya e kAma thAya. dhAryA vrata-niyama badhAM pALI zakAya. AgaLa jaI zakAya ne pragati thAya. pudgalasAra to bahu moTI vastu che. eka bAju pudgalasAra hoya to ja samayano sAra kADhe ! koIe lokone AvI sAcI samaja ja nathI pADIne ! kAraNa loko pote ja pola svabhAvanA che. pahelAnAM RSimunio cokhkhA hatA. mATe teo samaja pADatA hatA. praznakartA: ame evI uMmaranA vidyArthIone zIkhavADIe chIe ke je uMmaranA hisAbe ene kahevuM joIe ke tuM vIryabaLa sacavAya evuM kara, to e navANuM TakA chokarAo nahIM mAne. dAdAzrI : ane huM A chokarAone kahuM chuM ke, 'alyA, tame paiNo.' tyAre e kahe che ke, "nA. amAre brahmacarya pALavuM che." ane tame kaho cho ke, "brahmacarya pALo." tyAre e kahe che ke, "nA. amAre paiNavuM che. eTale paheluM upadeza ApanAre vIryabaLa pALavuM joIe. bolanAro baLavALo hovo joIe. tamArA bolanI kiMmata kyAre ? ke tame baLavAna ho, to sAmo eksepTa kare. nahIM to sAmo AgaLa cAle ja nahIM ne ! atyAre AnA jevA keTalAMya chokarAo mArI pAse che. temane kAyamanuM brahmacarya pALavuM che mana-vacana-kAyAthI. Page #41 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ [2] vikArothI vimuktinI vATa.... vikAro haThAvavAM che ? praznakartA : 'akrama mArga'mAM vikAro haThAvavAnuM sAdhana kayuM ? dAdAzrI : ahIM vikAra haThAvavAnA nathI. A mArga judo che. keTalAMka mANaso ahIM mana-vacana-kAyAnuM brahmacarya le che ane keTalAMka strIvALA hoya, tene ame rasto batADyo hoya te rIte eno ukela lAve. eTale 'ahIM' vikArI pada ja nathI, pada ja 'ahIM' nirvikArI che ne ! viSayo e viSa che, te tadana viSa nathI, viSayamAM nIDaratA e viSa che. viSaya to nA chuTake, polIsavALo jema pakaDIne karAve ne kare tema hoya, to, teno vAMdho nathI. potAnI svataMtra marajIthI nA hovuM joIe. polIsavALo pakaDIne jelamAM besADe tyAM tamAre besavuM ja paDe ne ? tyAM kaMI chUTako che ? eTale karma ene pakaDe ne karma ene athADe, emAM nA kahevAya nahIM ne ! bAkI jyAM viSayanI vAta ja hoya, tyAM dharma nathI, dharma nirvikAramAM hoya. game tevo ochA aMze dharma haze, paNa dharma nirvikArI hovo joIe. vikArathI ja saMsAra Ubho thayo che. A badho saMsAra eTale samajathI prApta brahmacarya viSayono vikAra, A pAMca indriyonA viSayonA vikAro che ane mokSa eTale nirvikAra, AtmA nirvikAra che. tyAM rAge ya nathI ne e ya nathI. praznakartA : vAta barAbara che, paNa e je vikArI kinArAthI nirvikArI kinArAmAM pahoMcavA mATe kaMIka to nAvaDuM hovuM joIe ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, enA mATe jJAna hoya che. enA mATe guru evA maLavA joIe. guru vikArI nA hovAM joIe. guru vikArI hoya to AkhuM ToLuM naryuM jAya. pharI manuSyagati ya nA dekhe. gurumAM vikAra nA zobhe. koI dharme vikArano svIkAra karyo nathI. vikArano svIkAra kare e vAmamArgI kahevAya. pahelAnA kALamAM vAmamArgI hatA, vikAra sAthe brahma khoLavA nIkaLelA. praznakartA : e paNa eka vikRta svarUpa ja thayeluM kahevAya ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, vikRta ja ne ! tethI vAmamArgI kahyuM ne ! vAmamArgI eTale mokSe jAya nahIM ne lokone ya mokSe javA de nahIM. pote adhogatimAM jAya ne lokone ya adhogatimAM laI jAya. praznakartA dareka kALamAM AvA vAmamArga haze to kharAM ja ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, dareka kALamAM vAmamArga to hoya che ja. vadhatA-ochA pramANamAM vAmamArga to hoya. pahelAM bahu ochA pramANamAM hatA. atyAre kaLiyugamAM jabarajasta pramANamAM hoya. saheja vikArI saMbaMdhavALo hoyane tyAM sudhI duniyAmAM koIne sudhArI zake nahIM. vikArI svabhAva ja AtmaghAtI svabhAva. atyAra sudhI koIe zIkhavADyuM nahIM kazuM ? brahmacarya, projekaTatuM pariNAma ! praznakartA : kudaratane jo strI-puruSanI jarUriyAta na hoya, to e zA mATe ApyuM ? dAdAzrI : strI-puruSa e kudaratI che ane brahmacaryano hisAba e Page #42 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 27 paNa kudaratI che. mANasa jevI rIte jIvavA mAge, te jevI bhAvanA pote kare che, e bhAvanAnA phaLarUpe A jagata che. brahmacaryanI bhAvanA gayA avatAramAM bhAvI hoya to atyAre brahmacaryano udaya Ave. A jagata projekaTa che. praznakartA : paNa haju mane e vAta samajAtI nathI ke mANase zA mATe brahmacarya pALavuM ? dAdAzrI : e leTa go karo ApaNe. brahmacarya nahIM pALavAnuM. huM kaMI evA matano nathI. huM to lokone kahuM chuM ke paiNI jAva. koI paiNe emAM mane vAMdho nathI. evuM che, jene saMsArika sukhonI jarUra che, bhautika sukhonI jene IcchA che, teNe paiNavuM joIe. badhuM ja karavuM joIe ane jene bhautika sukho nA ja gamatAM hoya ane sanAtana sukha joItuM hoya, teNe nahIM. praznakartA : 'brahmacarya nA ja pALavuM' evI mAre celenja nathI, paNa e vAtanI samaja nathI. dAdAzrI : barobara che. vAta sAcI che. tamArI celenja nathI, e vAta kharI che ! ane celenja apAya evuM ya nathI. kAraNa ke A duniyAmAM kaI jAtanA bhAva karyA hoya, eNe zuM projekaTa karyo hoya, e zuM ApaNe kahI zakIe ?! koIe AkhI jindagI bhaktino ja projekaTa karyo, to AkhI jindagI bhakti ja karyA kare. koIe dAna ja ApavAno projekTa karyo hoya to dAna Ape. koIe oblAIjhiMga necarano karyo hoya to oblAIjha karyA kare. koI che te vikArI necarano hoya, e potAnI strInuM sukha bhogavato hoya. paNa bIjI keTalIka chokarIono khoTo lAbha UThAve. e badhuM game tevAM mANaso hoya, jevo projekaTa karyo hoya, tevuM A phaLa maLyuM che. enAM phaLa maLe che kaDavAM. te narkagatimAM bhogavavA javuM paDe. enA hetu para AdhAra... viSaya vikAra hoya to game teTalo yoga phaLe nahIM. samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : viSaya je hoya che, vikAra aMdara bharelo hoya che, te nAno jIva hoya tyAMthI moTAM sudhImAM, darekano viSaya putradAna mATe ja hoya che ne ? 28 dAdAzrI : putra ke putrI game te hoya, paNa te saMsAra vadhAravA mATe ja. velo vadhe e mATe ja che ne ! praznakartA : viSaya kare che te icchAthI nahIM, khAlI saMtAna prApti mATe ja viSaya hovo joIe, e sAruM kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : evuM che ne, putranA hetu mATe abrahmacarya kare che tene, ne brahmacaryane kaMI lAgatuM-vaLagatuM nathI. brahmacarya to bahu UMcI vastu che. abrahmacarya to prajAnI utpatti mATe vAparavAnI kaMI jarUra nathI. prajAnI utpatti mATe to A jAnavaro badhA karyA ja kare che ne ! emAM navuM zuM che te ? enA karatAM mojazokha mATe vApare te sAruM. mojazokha mATe thaI rahyuM che ane peluM to ema lAge ke mane A phaLa maLyuM che. A to chellAmAM chellI kakSAnI vAta che. jevuM mArI draSTimAM che, te tamane kahuM chuM. pachI tamane je ThIka lAge tema anukULa lejo. praznakartA : emAM doSa kharo ke ? dAdAzrI : doSa to kharo ja ne ! e prajA utpatti mATe nA hovuM joIe. enA karatAM tame zokhane mATe karatA hoya to chevaTe eno dhakko vAge eTale pAcho phare ane AmAM to pAcho ja nA phare ne, prajAnI utpattimAM nava chokarAM thAya to ya !!! praznakartA : AjanA vikAramaya vAtAvaraNamAM, gharamAM rahIne paNa AtmAno, bhagavAnano anubhava kevI rIte thAya ? dAdAzrI : gharamAM rahIne eTale ghara vAMdho kADhe che ? praznakartA : vAtAvaraNa vikArI che. dAdAzrI : hA, paNa kaI jagyA vikArI nathI ? jyAM mana hoya, te jagyAe vikA2I vAtAvaraNa hoya ja. tame jyAM jazo tyAM mana to joDe Page #43 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya haze ja ne ? guphAomAM javuM, enA karatAM ghara sAruM. tyAM guphAomAM navI jAtanA vikAra UbhA thAya, enA karatAM A jUnA vikAro sArA, jUnA to thaiDA thaI gayelA hoya. te vikAra maraze ko'ka dA'Do. jyAre A navA vikAra nahIM mare. 29 praznakartA : gharamAM rahIne mananA vikAro chUTI zake ? dAdAzrI : hA, badhuM chUTI ja jAya che ne ! gharamAM rahIne to zuM, game tyAM rahIne chUTI jAya, jo 'jJAnI puruSa' maLe to. 'jJAnI puruSa' maLe ane jo kadI vikAra nA chUTI jAya, to e jJAnI ja na hoya. ApaNe jJAnIne kahevuM, ke Apa kevA maLyA amane, te amane A vikAra utpanna thayA ? paNa ApaNA loko vinayI eTale evuM nathI bolatAM bicArA. aphaLAya, aphaLAya kare che to ya nathI bolatAM. ta jANyu jagate svarUpa vAsanAtuM praznakartA : kAmavAsanAnuM sukha kSaNika jANavA chatAM kyAreka tenI prabaLa icchA thavAnuM kAraNa zuM ? ane te kaI rIte aMkuzamAM laI zakAya ? dAdAzrI : kAmavAsanAnuM svarUpa jagate jANyuM ja nathI. kAmavAsanA zAthI utpanna thAya che, e jo jANe to e kAbUmAM laI zakAya. paNa vastusthitimAM e kyAMthI utpanna thAya che, e jANato ja nathI. pachI zI rIte kAbUmAM laI zake ? koI kAbUmAM laI nA zake. jeNe kAbUmAM lIdheluM che, evuM dekhAya che, e to pUrvenI bhAvanAnuM phaLa che, bAkI kAmavAsanAnuM svarUpa kyAMthI utpanna thayuM, e utpanna dazA jANe, tyAM ja tALuM mAravAmAM Ave to ja e kAbUmAM laI zake. bAkI pachI e tALAM mAre ke game te kare to ya kazuM cAle nahIM. kAmavAsanA nA karavI hoya to ame rasto dekhADIe. ajJAtanA vAMke indriyone DAma ! praznakartA : A indriyo che, te bhogavyA sivAya zAMta paDatI nathI. to e sivAya bIjo upAya kharo ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : evuM kazuM nathI. indriyo to bicArI bhoga TheTha sudhI bhogavyA ja kare che. enAmAM jyAM sudhI sattva hoya tyAM sudhI, jIbhamAM barakata hoya ne eTale enI upara ApaNe koI vastu mUkIe ke tarata enAM svAda ApaNane kahI Ape, ane uMmara thaiDI thayelI hoya ne jIbhamAM barakata nA hoya to nA kahI Ape. AMkhamAM barakata hoya to badhI game te vastu hoya to kahI Ape. barakata jarA ochI thayelI hoya, dhaiDapaNane laIne to nA kahI Ape. eTale indriyo to bicArI, ema ne ema moLI thaI jAya che, uMmara thAya eTale. paNa e viSaya moLA nA thAya. A indriyo viSayI nathI. 30 viSaya A indriyono doSa nathI. indriyone vagara kAmanAM DAma de che A loko. indriyone, zarIrane badhA DAma de che ne ? e pADAnAM vAMke pakhAlIne DAma de che. vAMka pADAno che ane de che pakhAlIne DAma. bhUkhe mAre che, vagara kAmanuM mUA. enuM zuM kAma nAma de che tuM ? pAMsaro marane. tAruM vAMkuM che mahIM, dAnata cora che ane te ya jJAnI maLyA nathI, jJAnI maLe to savaLe raste caDAvI devAya, vAra nA lAge. praznakartA : viSayomAMthI vALavA mATe jJAna mahattvanI vastu che. dAdAzrI : badhA viSayo chUTI javA mATe jJAna ja che jarUrI. ajJAnathI ja viSayo vaLagyA che. te game eTalAM tALAM vAse to ya kaMI viSaya baMdha na thAya. indriyone tALAM mAranArA meM joyA, paNa ema kaMI viSaya baMdha thAya nahIM. jJAnathI badhuM jatuM rahe. ApaNe A badhA brahmacArIone vicAra sarakho nahIM Avato jJAnathI. viSayato zokha, vadhAre viSaya praznakartA : ApaNA badhA zokha hoya, e pUrA karavAthI ApaNane TempararI AnaMda maLe kharo ? dAdAzrI : paNa hamaNe AIskrIma hoya to sAruM nA lAge peTamAM ?! paNa pachI zuM, khaI rahyA pachI ? pachI lAva, jarA sopArI ! kema pAchuM Page #44 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brAhmacarya samajathI prApta brahmacarya 31 A AIskrIma hoya to ya haju sopArInI jarUra ! tyAre kahe, nA, e to moDhuM cokhkhuM karavuM paDe ne ! ane sopArI khAdhA pachI zuM ? hato teno te mUA ! praznakartA: sAyakolojI evuM kahe che ke tame eka vakhata dharAIne khAI lo AIskrIma. pachI tamane khAvAnuM mana ja nA thAya. dAdAzrI : evuM duniyAmAM banI zake nahIM. nA, e dharAIne khAdhAthI to khAvAnuM mana thAya japaNa je tamane nA khAvo hoya ne khavaDAya, khavaDAya kare, reDa reDa kare. te pachI ulTIo thAya tyAre baMdha thaI jAya. dharAIne khAya to pharI jAge e to. A viSaya to haMmezAM jema jema viSaya bhogavato jAya ema vadhAre vadhAre saLagatuM jAya. viSaya to vadhAre saLagatA jAya. je sukha bhogave che enI tarasa vadhatI jAya che. bhogavavAthI tarasa vadhatI jAya. nA bhogave to tarasa maTI jAya. enuM nAma tRSNA. nA bhogavavAthI thoDA dahADAM herAna thaIe vakhate mahino, be mahinAM. paNa aparicayathI bilakula bhUlI ja javAya pachI. ane bhogavanAro mANasa e vAsanA kADhI zake e vAtamAM mAla nathI. ethI ApaNAM lokonI, zAstronI zodhakhoLa che ke A brahmacaryano rasto ja uttama che. eTale moTAmAM moTo upAya, aparicaya ! eTale vicAra Ave, enuM tolana thAya, enA pariNAma khabara paDe. paricayamAM to khabara ja nA paDe ne, ke zuM doSa che te ja ! ane aparicayane laIne viSaya chUTe. hindustAnamAM loko zene brahmacarya kahevAya e ja samatA nathI. viSaya e aparicayathI badhu khalAsa thaI jAya che. ane eka phero e vastuthI cheTe rahyA ne, bAra mahinA ke be varasa sudhI cheTe rahyuM eTale e vastune ja bhUlI jAya che pachI manano svabhAva kevo che ? cheTuM rahyuM ke bhUlI jAya. najIka gayuM eTale pachI koca koca kare ! paricaya manano chUTo thayo. 'ApaNe' chUTA rahyA eTale mane ya pelI vastuthI cheTuM rahyuM, eTale bhUlI jAya pachI, kAyamane mATe. ene yAde ya nA Ave. pachI kahe to ya e bAju jAya nahIM. evuM tamane samajaNa paDe ?! tuM tArA bhAIbaMdhathI be varasa cheTo rahyo, to tAruM mana bhUlI jAya pachI. mahino-be mahinA sudhI kaca kaca karyA kare evo manano svabhAva che ane ApaNuM jJAna to manane gAMThe ja nahIM ne ?! ta AMtarAya matane ! praznakartA : manane jyAre viSaya tarapha bhogavavA mATe ApaNe chUTa ApIe chIe, tyAre e che to nIrasa rahe che ane jyAre ApaNe ene viSayo bhogavavA mATe kaMTrola karIe chIe, tyAre e vadhAre uchaLe che. AkarSaNa rahe che, to enuM zuM kAraNa ? dAdAzrI : evuM che ne, manane kaMTrola AnuM nAma kahevAya nahIM. je ApaNo kaMTrola svIkAre nahIM e kaMTrola ja hoya. kaMTrolara hovo joIe ne ? pote kaMTrolara hoya to kaMTrola svIkAre. pote kaMTrolara che nahIM, mana nathI mAnatuM, mana tamane gAMThatuM nathI ne ? manane AMtaravAnuM nathI. mananA kaoNjhIjhane AMtaravAnA che. mana to pote, eka pariNAma che. e pariNAma batAvyA vagara raheze nahIM. parIkSAnuM e rijhalTa che. pariNAma badalAya nahIM, parIkSA badalavAnI che. e pariNAma jenAthI UbhuM thAya che e kAraNone baMdha karavAnA che. tyAre te zI rIte pakaDAya ? zAnAthI UbhuM thayuM che mana ? tyAre kahe, viSayamAM coTeluM che. 'kyAM coTeluM che' e khoLI kADhavuM joIe ane pachI tyAM kApavAnuM che. praznakartA : e viSayomAMthI baMdha kevI rIte karavuM manane ? dAdAzrI : viSayomAMthI baMdha nahIM karavAnuM. je viSayo mana UbhA kare che ane e mana che te pachI pakaDa pakaDe che. e viSayone ApaNe jyAM tyAM e dhIme dhIme kamI karavA joIe. eTale enA kaoNjhIjha baMdha karavA joIe. ApaNe pADozIne kahIe ke bhaI, tamAre amArI joDe jhaghaDo karavo nahIM. amArI joDe A takarAra karavI nahIM, to ya takarAra thayA karatI hoya to ApaNe nA samajIe kaMI bhUla bIjI ja che. samajIe ke nA samajIe ? tyAre kahe, zI bhUla ? tyAre kahe, A jhaghaDo nA thAya evA kAraNo UbhA karo pachI. eTale pelo jhaghaDo to thaI ja jaze thoDA dahADA, Page #45 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya u4 paNa jhaghaDo na thavAnA kAraNonuM jyAre sevana thAya tyAre pachI tevA pariNAma Avaze. jhaghaDAnAM kAraNo sevA karIe ane jhaghaDo baMdha karIe. e bane kharuM ? praznakartA : nA bane. dAdAzrI : eTale enA kAraNo baMdha karavA paDe. meM kahyuM che ne, manavacana-kAyA e IphekTIva vastu che. enA kaoNjhIjha baMdha karo ! praznakartA : kAraNa baMdha karavA eTale ? AvuM nA thAya evA bhAva karavA evuM ja ne ? dAdAzrI : ApaNe kAraNa baMdha karavuM, eTale gaIkAle polIsavALA e ApaNuM nAma lakhI lIdhuM hoya. sAyakala upara jatA hoya ne lAITa na hoya to nAma lakhI lIdhuM hoya to bIje dahADe ApaNe kaoNjhIjha baMdha karIe ke nA baMdha karIe ? ke bhaI Aja to lAITa ghAlo. to pachI lakhI le ? e kAraNa baMdha thaI jAya ne ? evI ja rIte A kaoNjhIjha baMdha karavAnA che. badhuM AvaDe evuM che, phakta "cA"nI ja Teva paDI che. eTaluM ja che bhAMjagaDa. lAvo, jarA 'cA' pIe. mahIM akaLAze, te ghaDIe cA pIvAnI jarUra nathI. vicAravAnI jarUra che, tyAre cA pI nAkhe che tyAM. jyAM vicAravAno skopa maLe ane magaja gUMcAya, tyAre kahe, 'cA pIvI joIe." alyA mUA, atyAre vicAravAnI jarUra che. cA hamaNe rahevA de, savAre pIje. kaoNjhIjha baMdha karIe to thAya ke nA thAya ? praznakartA : samajAyuM. dAdAzrI : eka phero ko'kanI joDe avinaya karIe ApaNe, khasa ahIMthI Agho. to e gALa daI de, to ApaNe bIjI vakhata evuM nA karIe ne ? praznakartA : nA karIe.. dAdAzrI : peluM e to baMdha nahIM thAya. A tame A rasto badalo. enuM nAma jJAna, peluM baMdha karavA prayatna kare tenuM nAma ja bhrAMti. bhrAMti samajathI prApta brahmacarya haMmezA IphekTane ja toDavA phare che. jyAre jJAna kaoNjhIjhane baMdha karavA phare che. vAsanA, vastu nahIM, paNa rasa ! praznakartA : manuSyonI vAsanAono mokSa kyAre thAya ? dAdAzrI : vAsanAono to thaI ja jAya. vAsanAo to tame UbhI karelI che, tame ja enA janmadAtA cho ane vilaya karanArA ya tame cho. tamArI vAsanA judI ne bhaInI vAsanA judI. darekanI judI judI vAsanAone ? ane vAsanA to sAyanTiphIka sarakamasTenziyala eviDansa che. hamaNe eka musalamAna bhaIbaMdha thayo hoya ne, to pachI peluM mAMsAhAra khAtA hau zIkhI jAya. have e vAsanA kaMIthI lAvyA'tA ? tyAre kahe, sAyanTiphika sarakamasTenziyala eviDansa bhegA thAya ane te navuM nathI, A gamyuM nathI. pAchuM pahelAnA kaoNjhIjha hisAbe che A badhAM. te khAtAM zIkhI jAya. bIjuM, saMjogone lIdhe vAsanAo UbhI thAya che. bAkI eka chokaro che te ema ne ema koI mANasa dekhAya nahIM ne, tyAM AgaLa e ucharato hoyane to e viSaya samajI zake nahIM. khAvApIvAnuM samajI zake che. paNa tyAM AgaLa jAnavara kazuM hovuM nA joIe. ene jovAmAM na AvavuM joIe. to ene kazuM vAsanA nathI. A to badhuM vAsanAonuM saMgrahasthAna che, ne tyAM janma thavAno, eTale pachI zuM thAya e saMgrahasthAnamAMthI ! e jovAmAM AvyuM, tyAMthI vAsanA UbhI thaI jAya. ane te ya ajAyabI che ke jJAna prApta thAya che, tyAre vAsanAo kyAMnI kyAM uDI jAya che, te ja samajaNa nathI paDatI. praznakartA : aMdarano rasa sUkAI jAya che. dAdAzrI : hA. vastune vAsanA nathI kahetA, rasane vAsanA kahe che. A rasa nA hoya to vAsanA gaNAtI ja nathI. eTale vAsanA kyAMnI kyAM uDI jAya che. have e eka kalAkanA ja prayogathI, vadhAre prayoga nahIM pAcho, A jJAna pachI vAsanA jatI rahe che ne ! rasa jato rahe che ne ? bIjuM badhuM sthaLa che. jJAtI ja choDAve, vAsatA sahelAIthI praznakartA : vAsanA choDavAno sahelAmAM sahelo upAya kyo ? Page #46 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 35 dAdAzrI : mArI pAse Avo te upAya. bIjo zo upAya ? vAsanA tame jAte choDazo to bIjI pesI jaze. kAraNa ke ekalo avakAza raheto ja nathI. tame vAsanA choDo ke avakAza thayo ne tyAM pachI bIjI vAsanA pesI jaze. praznakartA : A vAsanAnI jagyAe bIjI koI sArI vAsanA Ave, to e sArI vastu nA kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : vAsanA cenja thaI zake. kharAba vAsanAne badale sArI vAsanA mahIM pesI zake, paNa sArI vAsanA mahIM pese to pAchuM kharAba taiyAra karI rahI hoya. jo kAyamane mATe sArI vAsanA rahI zake evuM hoya to bahu sarasa jagata che A. paNa tevuM rahI zake tevuM nathI. mATe AmAMthI chaTakAro levo sAro. vAsanA kanvarTa karIe ane sArI vAsanA bheLI karIe, evuM banI zake evuM ja nathI. e 'posIbala' ja nathI. tadana zubha vAsanAvALo mANasa dekhAvo paNa muzkela che ! praznakartA : eTale sAmAnya rIte puruSane strI tarapha je valaNa rahe che emAMthI kevI rIte mukti meLavAya ? dAdAzrI : evuM che ne, pote jyAM sudhI puruSa hoya tyAM sudhI strI taraphanuM valaNa rahe ja, jyAM sudhI javAnI hoya tyAM sudhI. hamaNe eMsI varSanAM DosAne nA hoya ! dukAna nAdArImAM gaI pachI zuM hoya ? nAdArInI dukAnamAM kazo mAla hoya ? tyAre bALakane nava varSa sudhI nA hoya. A vacalI dukAna jarA jabarajasta cAlatI hoya, dhamadhokAra. tyAre badhuM A hoya, paNa jyAM sudhI puruSa che tyAM sudhI A vAsanA rahe ane strI che tyAM sudhI vAsanA rahe. paNa puruSa ja maTI jAya to ? praznakartA : e kevI rIte maTI zakAya ? dAdAzrI : A vAsanAvALo e caMdreza ane tame to "mAya neIma Ijha caMdraza' kaho cho. mATe tame judA cho AnAthI. e vAtanI khAtarI thAya che ? to e tame koNa cho ? eTaluM ja tamane huM rIyalAIjha karI ApuM eTale tamArI vAsanA chUTI gaI. samajathI prApta brahmacarya vAsanAo zuM che te ? 'huM caMdreza chuM.' e maTe to ja vAsanAo jAya, nahIM to vAsanAo jAya nahIM. huM to zuM kahuM chuM, ke "AtmA zuM che? e jANo, anAtmA zuM che e jANo. e jANatAM ja vAsanAo UDI jaze. jema DevalapamenTa vadhAre UMcuM, tema mUrchA ochI. AmAM zuM bhogavavAnuM che? badhuM bhogavIne ja AvelA chIe. jeNe ochuM bhogaveluM tene mUcha vadhAre. viSaya te kaSAyatI bhedarekhA praznakartA: A krodha-mAna-mAyA-lobha tame kahyuM ke, te A viSaya zemAM Ave che ? "kAma" zemAM Ave che ? dAdAzrI : viSaya judA ne A kaSAya judA che. viSayone jo kadI ApaNe tenI hada oLaMgIe, hadathI vadhAre mAMgIe e lobha che. praznakartA : strI-puruSanA viSaya mATeno prazna che. dAdAzrI : hA, e ja ne ! e viSayanA atirekane lobha kahyo. praznakartA : viSayano bhUkhyo mANasa hoya che, te zuM 'vyavasthita'nA hisAbe hoya che ? dAdAzrI : nA. evuM che ne, ke A moTI kaDAI hoya, ne enI mahIM kaDhI karI hoya, te kaDhImAM hiMgano vaghAra karyo hoya. have cha mahinA pachI e kaDAI pharI ajavALo, ne pachI emAM dUdhapAka banAvo to ya mahIM hiMganI gaMdha Ave. zAthI ? ke hiMgano pAsa besI gayo che. eTale AvI A viSayanI gaMdha badhI mahIM paDI rahelI hoya che. Page #47 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ [3] mahAbhya brahmacaryanuM ! viSayanI kimata keTalI ? praznakartA : viSayamAMthI virakta thavAnI tIvra bhAvanA hoya to pachI enAthI Aste Aste nIkaLI javAya ? dAdAzrI : hA. e je tamannA che, e ja AmAMthI choDAve. paNa viSayanI kiMmata samajI levI joIe, ke AnI kiMmata keTalI ? utarelI dALanI kiMmata che, UtarelI kaDhInI kiMmata che, paNa viSayanI kiMmata nathI. paNa A vAta AkhA jagatane samajAya nahIM ne ! praznakartA : eTale e to zUnya thayuM ? dAdAzrI : zUnya to sAruM, paNa A to nayuM mAinasa ja che. manuSyane beka jovAnI zakti ja nathI ne ! eTale viSaya cAlu rahyo che. juone, pAchA rophathI cAle ja che ne ? eTale jJAnI puruSa pAse vAtane samaje to viSaya jAya ne to mukti thAya. viSayane laIne to A badhuM aTakyuM che. samajathI prApta brahmacarya viSayathI kharaDAyelAM jIvata... praznakartA : je bALabrahmacArI hoya te vadhAre uttama kahevAya ke paraNyA pachI brahmacarya pALe te uttama kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : bALabrahmacArInI vAta ja judI ne ! paNa AjanA bALabrahmacArI kevA che ? A jamAno kharAba che. temanuM atyAra sudhI je thayuM che te jIvana tame vAMco, to vAMcatAnI sAthe ja tamAruM mAthuM caDhI jAya. praznakartA : ApaNe potAnuM ja jIvana joIe to mAthe caDhI jAya, to vaLI emanA jIvananI kaMI vAta karo cho ?! dAdAzrI : chatAM ya hajI e pALaze, hajI pALa bAMdhaze to kaMIka Ano ilAja che. jJAnI puruSa to koI dahADo mAthe hoya ja nahIM, ne dahADo vaLe nahIM. jJAnI puruSa hoya to A pALI zakAya, nahIM to A zI rIte pALI zake ? jJAnI puruSanI kRpA joIe. cogaradamathI jyAre mUMjhAya tyAre mArgadarzana batAvanAra joIe, AmAMthI zI rIte chUTAya ? enI badhI cAvIo jJAnI puruSane khabara hoya. brahmacarya pALavAtA pagathiyAM ! praznakartA : svabhAva mujaba, prAkRtika guNadharma mujaba, bIje draSTi bagaDI jAya, to e saMsAra kema karIne bhUMse ? dAdAzrI : e bhUMsavAnI amArI pAse badhI davA hoya. A varlDamAM evI koI davA nathI ke je davA amArI pAse nA hoya. A chokarAMone ame brahmacaryavrata ApyuM che. have A brahmacaryavratane laIne ya ko'ka strI ene bhegI thaI jAya, to ene draSTinuM kheMcANa thaI jAya, ne mana emanuM bagaDI jAya kharuM, to tene huM doSa kaheto nathI. paNa e thaI jAya, to ene pachI e tarata bhUMsI nAkhavAnAM. kAraNa ke ame sAbu Apelo hoya che. huM rastAmAM jato houM ane mArAM kapaDAM upara DAgha paDyo. te tarata mane dhoI nAkhavAnuM AvaDatuM hoya, to pachI tamAre tyAM cokhkho AvuM ke nA AvuM ? Page #48 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 39 praznakartA : hA, avAya. dAdAzrI : evI rIte Amane badhuM sAdhana ApeluM hoya, nahIM to mana-vacana-kAyAthI brahmacaryavrata zI rIte pALI zakAya ? ane te ya AvAM baLatarAnA kALamAM ! jo tamAre brahmacarya pALavuM hoya to tamane upAya batAvuM. te upAya tamAre karavAno hoya, nahIM to tamAre brahmacarya pALavuM joIe evuM e pharajiyAta vastu nathI. e to jene mahIM karmanA udaya hoya to thAya. paiNavAno koI jAtano vAMdho nathI. paNa A lokone paiNavAmAM sukha dekhAtuM ja nathI. emane poSAtuM ja nathI. e nA pADe che, tyAre ame brahmacaryavrata ApIe chIe, nahIM to huM koIne evuM brahmacaryavrata levAnuM kahyuM nahIM. kAraNa ke vrata levuM, vrata pALavuM e kaMI jevI tevI vastu nathI. brahmacaryavrata levuM e to emano pUrvakarmano udaya hoya to sacavAya. pUrve bhAvanA karelI hoya to sacavAya, agara to jo tame sAcavavA dhArazo to sacavAze. ame zuM kahIe chIe ke tamAro nizcaya joIe ne amAruM vacanabaLa joDe che, to A sacavAya evuM che. vratanA pariNAma ! praznakartA : e to enI bhUmikA pramANe thAya ne ? A manobaLa upara kaMI badhI vastuno AdhAra rakhAto nathI. enI AdhyAtmika sTejanI bhUmikA joIe, to ja A vastu zakya che ne ? dAdAzrI : e zakya hoya ke nA hoya, paNa atyAre zakya thaI paDyuM che. keTalAMka strI-puruSo amArI pAse kAyamanuM brahmacaryavrata le che. A bhAI ne emanAM vAiphe nAnI uMmarathI brahmacaryavrata lIdhuM che. evuM muMbaImAM keTalAMya jaNe lIdhuM che. kAraNa ke mahIM gajabanuM sukha varte. sukha eTaluM badhuM varte ke A viSaya emane yAda ja nathI Avato. praznakartA : dehanI sAthe je karma cArja thaIne AvelA hoya te pheraphAra to nA thAya ne ? dAdAzrI : nA, kazo pheraphAra nA thAya. chatAM viSaya evI vastu che ne, samajathI prApta brahmacarya ke jJAnI puruSanI AjJAthI A ekaluM ja pheraphAra thAya. chatAM A vrata badhAne nA apAya. ame amukane ja A ApeluM che. jJAnInI AjJAthI badhuM ja pheraphAra thaI jAya. sAmAe khAlI nizcaya ja karavAno ke game te thAya, paNa mAre A joItuM ja nathI. to tene pachI ame AjJA ApIe chIe ane amAruM vacanabaLa kAma kare che. eTale pachI enuM citta bIje nA jAya. 40 A brahmacarya jo koI pALe ne, jo TheTha sudhI pAra nIkaLI gayo ne, to brahmacarya to bahu moTI vastu kahevAya. A dAdAIjJAna', 'akrama vijJAna' ane joDe joDe brahmacarya e badhuM hoya, pachI emane zuM joIe ? eka to A 'akrama vijJAna' ja evuM che ke jo kadI e anubhava, vizeSa pariNAma pAmI gayo, to e rAjAono rAjA che. AkhI duniyAnA rAjAoe paNa tyAM namaskAra karavA paDe !! praznakartA : atyAre to paDozI ya namaskAra nathI karato ! dAdAzrI : te zI rIte paDozI kare ? jyAM sudhI haju pArakA khetaramAM pesI jAya che, tyAM sudhI zI rIte evuM bane ? AjJApUrvakanuM vrata te sAcuM ! praznakartA : koI vidhavA hoya, vidhura hoya te brahmacaryavrata pALe che, enAM karatAM ApanuM ApeluM brahmacaryavrata pALe to bahu phera paDe ne? dAdAzrI : peluM brahmacaryavrata kahevAya ja nahIM ne ! jyAM brahmacarya mananuM nathI, tyAM brahmacarya kahevAtuM nathI ane jJAna sivAya brahmacarya konuM pALe ? potAne jJAna che nahIM. A to 'huM koNa chuM', enuM ja ThekANuM nathI ne ! praznakartA : e meDiTezanavALAmAM evuM kahe che ke tame brahmacaryavrata pALo. dAdAzrI : hA, paNa evuM kaMI saheluM nathI. ene kahIe, 'tuM ja pALane, mane zuM karavA kahuM chuM ?' Ama badhAne kahe, paNa pote pAchAM pola mAre. brahmacarya to koNa pALI zake ? jJAnI puruSanA hAtha nIce hoya, e badhA brahmacarya pALI zake. eTale A brahmacarya, jo ema ne ema pALavA gayo ane Page #49 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 41 jo kadI sAcavatAM nA AvaDyuM to mANasa meDa thaI jAya. amArI A zodhakhoLa bahu suMdara che, AkhuM vijJAna bahu suMdara che ane AkhuM varlDa eksepTa kare evuM che. A sAyanTisTo badhAne ya A ekasepTa karavuM paDaze. brahmacarya to kevuM hovuM joIe ?! A 'akrama vijJAna' che. A to bahu ajAyaba vijJAna che. jagata jyAre jANaze tyAre kUdAkUda karaze. tamane strI upara vairAga Avyo ke nA Avyo ? keTalI vAramAM? atyAre pA kalAkamAM ja ? tyAre jJAnIonI cAvIothI kevA vairAga Ave che !!! ane Ama pahero bharIe, te kyAre pAra Ave ? Ama pahero bhare to pelI bAju pesI jaze. ame koInI upara pahero ja bharIe nahIM ne ! ame kyAM pahero bharIe ? A gaMdavADAmAM jene labadAvuM ja che, tene pachI ame choDI daIe ! ahIM A chokarAo brahmacarya pALe che e to sahaja svabhAve rahe, eka kSaNa paNa cUkyA sivAya niraMtara rahe. sAtamI narkanuM varNana kare to ya mANasa sAMbhaLatA ja marI jAya. tyAre bolo, tyAM keTalo bhogavaTo haze ? ke pharI saMsAra bhogavavAnI to caDIcUpa ! eka viSayane lIdhe A saMsAra Ubho rahyo che. A strI viSaya nA hoya ne, to bIjA badhA viSaya to koI dahADo ya naDatA nathI. ekalA A viSayano abhAva thAya to ya devagati thAya. A viSayano abhAva thayo ke bIjA badhA viSayo badhuM ja kAbUmAM AvI jAya ane A viSayamAM paDyo ke viSayathI pahelAM jAnavara gatimAM jAya ane ethI vadhAre viSayI hoya to narkagatimAM jAya. viSayathI basa adhogati ja che. kAraNa ke eka viSayamAM to kaMI karoDo jIva marI jAya che ! samajaNa nA hoya chatAM ya jokhamadArI vahore che ne ! eTale jyAM hiMsA che, tyAM dharma jevuM kazuM ja nathI. praznakartA : samajavA chatAM jagatanA viSayomAM mana AkarSAyeluM rahe che, samajIe chIe ke sAcuM-khoTuM zuM che, chatAM viSayomAMthI chUTAtuM nathI. to eno upAya zo ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : je samajaNa kriyAkArI hoya te ja sAcI samajaNa kahevAya. bIjI badhI vAMjhiyA samajaNa kahevAya. be zIzI hoya. eka zIzImAM viTAmInano pAvaDara hoya, bIjI zIzImAM poIjhana hoya, baMnemAM sapheda pAvaDara hoya to ApaNe chokarAMne samaja pADIe ke A viTAmIna che te leje ane A bIjI zIzImAMthI nA laIza. bIjI zIzImAMthI laIza to marI javAze. eTale e chokaro 'marI jaIza' zabda sAMbhaLyo eTale e samajI gayo nathI. bole kharo ke A davA levAthI marI javAya, paNa marI javuM eTale zuM, e samajato nathI. ApaNe ene kahevuM paDe, ke phalANA kAkA te dahADe marI gayA'tA ne ? pachI badhAe ene tyAM bALI melyA'tA, evuM A davAthI thAya. evI ekjhekTalI jyAre samaja paDe tyAre e samaja ja kriyAkArI thAya. pachI e poIjhanane aDe ja nahIM. atyAre A samajanI ene ekjhekTanesa AvI nathI. A samaja to lokoe zIkhavADelI lona tarIke lIdhelI che. 42 praznakartA : e samaja kriyAtmaka thAya, te mATe zuM prayatna karavo ? dAdAzrI : huM tamane vigatavAra samajaNa pADuM. pachI e samajaNa ja kriyA karyA kare. tamAre kazuM karavAnuM nahIM. tame ulaTo Dakho karavA jAva to bagaDI jAya. je jJAna, je samajaNa kriyAkArI hoya, te sAcI samajaNa che ane te sAcuM jJAna che. mArI vAta tamane ThokI besADavAnI nathI. tamane tamArI potAnI ja samajamAM AvavuM joIe. mArI samaja mArI pAse ane e samaja tamane ThokI besADAya nahIM ane ema ThokI besADavAthI to kazuM kAma ja nA thAya. tamane e samaja besI jAya ane tame tamArI samajathI cAlo. A duniyAmAM koI cIjanI niMdA karavA jevI hoya to te abrahmacarya. bIjI badhI eTalI niMdA karavA jevI cIja nathI. brahmacarya na paLAya enI vAta judI che, paNa brahmacaryanA virodhI to na ja thavuM joIe. brahmacarya to moTAmAM moTuM sAdhana che. ApaNuM brahmacarya e pavitra vastu hovI joIe. brahmacarya e mAnasika vastu nathI, A bIDInA vyasana jevuM abrahmacaryanuM nathI. viSaya saMbaMdhI aNasamajaNane Page #50 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 44 samajathI prApta brahmacarya e siddhAMta rAkhavo joIe ane te pahelethI ja jANavo sAro ! eMsI varSe A siddhAMta jANIe to zuM kAmano ? ApaNuM astipaNuM eka ja jagyAe hoya, be jagyAe nA hoya. eTale bane tyAM sudhI siddhAMtane pALavo. atyAre cAritranI kiMmata ja UDI gaI che. brahmacaryanI to kiMmata ja UDI gaI che ne ? svastha jIvana jIvavAnI kiMmata ja UDI gaI che ! pavitra jIvana ja jIvavAnuM che. abhiprAya badalya nIkaLavA mAMDe ! samajathI prApta brahmacarya 43 laIne brahmacarya TakatuM nathI. brahmacaryane mATe, jJAnI puruSanI pAse samajaNa jo samajI le to brahmacarya sarasamAM sarasa Take. samajavAnI ja jarUra hoya che emAM. A vyasana e juduM che ne abrahmacarya e judI vastu che. A to anAdithI lokapravAha Avo ne Avo cAlyo Ave che, ne tenAthI laukika jJAna UbhuM thaI gayuM che ane pAchI enI avaLI samaja besI gaI. have jevI samaja besI gaI eTale pachI evuM vartanamAM AvyA vagara rahe nahIM. vyavahAramAM paNa brahmacarya pALavAnuM zAthI kahyuM che ke normAliTImAM rahe. tenAthI deha, mana badhuM sAruM rahe. jagatanA lokone to mana-vacanakAyAthI brahmacarya paLAya ja nahIM ne ?! A to phakta ApaNe ahIM pALI zakAya. A loko vrata le che. te pachI vrata levAthI zuM thAya ke mana badhuM ThekANe rahe, mana bAunDrImAM rahyA kare ane vrata nA le to emanuM citta badhuM bhaTakatuM ja hoya ! chatAM, saMsAramAM ya jo kadI A draSTi sAcave to e AgaLa AgaLa vadhato jAya ane ene paNa mokSano rasto maLI Ave. A to je mane bhego nA thayo hoya, evA bahAranA loko mATe kahuM chuM ! brahmacarya e kadI eka cha ja mahinA sAcA dilathI pADyuM hoya. mana-vacana-kAyAe karIne, to e gulAba AvaDAM AvaDA moTAM thAya. brahmacarya e to moTAmAM moTuM khAtara che. jema gulAbane khAtara nAkhIe to AvaDAM nAnAM hoya te pachI AvaDAM moTAM thAya. eTale eka cha ja mahinA jene pALavuM hoya te pALe ! cha mahinAnA brahmacaryathI to zarIramAM keTalo badho pheraphAra thaI jAya ! pachI vANI bole te Ama bomba paDe evI nIkaLe ! jyAM sudhI saMsAranA koI paNa viSayamAM mana ghUsI gayuM hoya tyAM sudhI badhA ja DIpArTamenTa upara phUla (full) zakti cAle nahIM ! koI paNa dizAmAM pravahana karavuM e manano svabhAva che ! AthI manane dhAryuM vALI zakAya evuM che, ene DAyavarTa karI zakAya evuM che. be-pAMca varSa ja jo manane A brahmacarya tarapha vALe, A eka ja dizAmAM vahana kare to enI sAme koI AMkha paNa mAMDI nA zake ! abrahmacaryathI ja badhA roga UbhA thAya che. eTale brahmacarya pALavuM praznakartA : paNa mAnasazAstrIo kahe che ke viSaya baMdha thAya ja nahIM, cheka sudhI rahe. eTale pachI vIryanuM urdhvagamana thAya ja nahIM ne ? dAdAzrI : huM zuM kahuM chuM ke viSayano abhiprAya badalAya ke pachI viSaya raheto ja nathI ! jyAM sudhI abhiprAya badalAya nahIM tyAM sudhI vIryanuM urdhvagamana thAya ja nahIM. ApaNe ahIM to sIdho AtmAmAM ja ghAlI devAno che, enuM nAma ja urdhvagamana che ! viSaya baMdha karavAthI ene AtmAnuM sukha vartAya ane viSaya baMdha thayo eTale vIryanuM urdhvagamana thAya ja. amArI AjJA ja evI che ke viSaya baMdha thaI jAya che. praznakartA : AjJAmAM zuM hoya che ? zULa baMdha karavAnuM ? dAdAzrI : sthaLane ame kaMI kahetA ja nathI. mana-buddhi-citta ne ahaMkAra brahmacaryamAM rahe evuM hovuM joIe. ane mana-buddhi-citta ne ahaMkAra, brahmacarya mATe pharI gayAM eTale dhULa to enI meLe Ave ja. tArAM mana-buddhi-citta ne ahaMkArane pherava. amArI AjJA evI che ke A cAre ya pharI ja jAya che !! gajabanA e brahmacArI ! 'A' 'pablika TrasTa' evuM che ke saMpUrNa nIrogI che. varlDanuM TopamosTa che A ! tamAre je rogo kADhavA hoya, te kADhI zakAya ema che ! je suMdara brahmacarya pALatA hoya, emane AdhIna rahIne brahmacarya pALI zakAya. nahIM to pote pALatA nA hoya, potAnI mahIM gupta 'DiphekTa' hoya, to potAne ja Page #51 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 45 samajathI prApta brahmacarya pALavAnI muzkelI paDI jAya. eTale AkhA hindustAnamAM koI jagyAe brahmacarya saMbaMdhI vAta koI karatuM ja nathI ne ?! huM jemAM 'hajheDa parasenTa' karekTa houM, teno ja tamane upadeza ApuM, to ja mAruM vacanabaLa phaLe. potAmAM saheja paNa 'DiphekTa' hoya to bIjAne upadeza zI rIte ApI zakAya ? viSayanI jokhamadArI bahu ja moTI che. moTAmAM moTI jokhamadArI hoya, to te viSayanI che. enAthI pAMce ya mahAvrata ane aNuvrata tUTe che. praznakartA: jJAnI puruSanAM vAkyo viSayanuM virecana kevA prakAre karAve ? dAdAzrI : viSaya baMdha thatA jAya dahADe dahADe, nahIM to lAkha avatAra copaDIo vAMce to ya kazuM nA vaLe. praznakartA : emanuM vAkya zAthI AvuM asarakAraka thaI zake che ? dAdAzrI : emanuM vAkya bahu jabarajasta hoya, joradAra hoya ! julAba Ape evA zabda' kahyuM, tyArathI ja nA samajIe ke emanA zabdamAM keTaluM baLa che ! praznakartA : e vacanabaLa jJAnIne kaI rIte prApta thayuM hoya ? dAdAzrI : pote nirviSayI hoya to ja vacanabaLa prApta thAya, nahIM to viSayanuM virecana karAve evuM vacanabaLa hoya ja nahIM ne ! mana-vacanakAyAthI saMpUrNa rIte nirviSayI hoya tyAre emanA zabdathI viSayanuM virecana thAya. 'jJAnI puruSa'nAM vAkyo viSayanuM virecana karAvanArAM che. viSayanuM virecana nA karAvatAM hoya to e 'jJAnI puruSa' ja nathI. Page #52 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ khaMDa : 2 'tA ja paraNavA'tAM nizcayI mATenI vATa... [1] viSayathI, kaI samajaNe chUTAya ? tA-paiNavAtA nizcayIte.. praznakartA : mAre lagna karavAnI icchA nathI, paraMtu mA-bApa temaja anya sagAsaMbaMdhI lagna mATe dabANa kare che. to mAre lagna karavAM ke nahIM ? dAdAzrI : jo lagna karavAnI icchA ja nA hoya to ApaNuM A jJAna" tame lIdhuM che eTale tame pahoMcI zakazo. A jJAnanA pratApe badhuM ja thAya ema che. huM tamane kevI rIte vartavuM, te samajAvIza ane jo pAra UtarI gayA, to to bahu uttama. tamAruM kalyANa thaI jaze !!! praznakartA : paiNAvA mATe badhA loko bahu phorsa kare che. dAdAzrI : tamane 'vyavasthita' samajAI gayuM che ke nahIM ? praznakartA : vyavasthita to samajAI gayuM che. dAdAzrI : to 'vyavasthita'nI bahAra koInuM ya cAlavAnuM nathI. mATe vyavasthita' upara choDIne nakkI rAkho, draDha nizcaya karo ke mAre nathI ja samajathI prApta brahmacarya paNa paiNyA vagara tane zI rIte cAlaze ? praznakartA : kayA bhavamAM anubhava nathI karyo ? dAdAzrI : kharuM kahe che ke kayA bhavamAM anubhava nathI karyo ! bakarImAM, kUtarAmAM, gadheDAmAM, vAghamAM, jyAM jAva tyAM AnA A ja anubhava karyA che ne?! paNa paiNavAnuM jo dhyeyapUrvaka chUTe to sAruM. have tAre 'lokone je anubhava thayA che e mane ja thayA che', evI goThavaNI karI levI paDaze ne ? nahIM to jagatanA loko tane binaanubhavI kaheze. paiNavuM ke nA paiNavuM e 'vyavasthita'nA tAbAmAM che, paNa atyAre jo pAMca varSa A jJAnanA AdhAre brahmacarya pALe to keTalI badhI zaktio pragaTa thaI jAya ane A dehanuM baMdhAraNa kevuM sarasa thaI jAya ! AkhI jiMdagI tAvatariyo ja nA Ave ne !!! ApaNuM A vijJAna thoDA vakhatamAM sephasAIDa karI nAkhe evuM che. jene bhagavAna paNa nA pUchI zake evI sephasAIDa kare evuM A vijJAna che. khAvApIvAnI badhI chUTa ApI che ne ? meM jo khAvApIvAno vAMdho karyo hota, to ahIM ghaNA kharAM Avata ja nahIM. eTale ame chUTa ApI che. A saMsAracakrano AdhAra viSaya para che. che to pAMca ja viSaya, paNa strI saMbaMdhIno to bahu ja bhAre viSaya che. enA to pachI bhAre spaMdano UDe che. ApaNuM jJAna evuM sarasa che ne emAM rahyA kare, to kazuM ene aDe nahIM ane pAchaluM badhuM dhovAI jAya. paNa viSaya bAbatamAM jAgRta rahevuM paDe. tyAM to 'AmAM sukha ja nathI ane A phasAmaNa ja che' e abhiprAya rahevo joIe. e bagIco na hoya. e phasAmaNa ja che. evuM bhAna rahe to chUTI javAya. paNa ahIM evuM bhAna rahetuM nathI ne ? phasAmaNa hoya to tyAM kevuM rahe ? ane bagIcAmAM pharatA hoya to kevuM rahe ? bagIcAmAM to Ama ullAsa rahe jyAre phasAmaNamAM to kyAre AmAMthI chUTAya evuM rahe ne ? mATe 'ApaNe' 'caMdreza'ne kahevuM 'caMdreza AmAMthI kyAre chUTazo ! A to phasAmaNa che. AmAM paDavA jevuM nathI.' paNa AmAM phasAmaNa jevuM nathI rahetuM ne tyAM ja mukta bhAva thaI jAya che ne ? have jo AkhI samajaNa phera karI nAkhe to ukela Ave. paiNavuM. Page #53 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 48 samajathI prApta brahmacarya samajIne peso AmAM... praznakartA H Aje DIsijhana laI lIdhuM che, paNa pAchalo mAla ghaNo che. to DIsijhananA AdhAre AmAMthI mAre nIkaLI javAze ? dAdAzrI : DIsijhana sAcuM hoya to nIkaLI ja javAya, nizcaya mukhya vastu che. nizcaya jeNe pakaDyo che, ene duniyAmAM koI kazuM nAma nA de. tane kema zaMkA paDe che ? zaMkA paDe che, e ja anizcaya kahevAya. praznakartA : Apane pUchIne cokkasa karI lauM chuM. dAdAzrI : nA, paNa zaMkA paDe che e ja anizcaya che. kazuM thavAnuM nathI. dAdA mAthe che, pachI zuM thanAra che ? mATe zaMkA rAkhavA jevuM nathI. A jJAna che eTale brahmacaryamAM rahevAze, nahIM to huM tamane nA ja pADI dauM. huM to AjJA karI dauM ke tamAre paiNavuM paDaze. A to 'A' jJAna che eTale tamane hA pADuM chuM. kAraNa ke mANasane sukhanuM sAdhana joIene ? marato mANasa kayA sukhanA AdhAre jIve ? A jJAna evuM che ke tame A jJAnathI AtmAnA dhyAnamAM raho ke tarata AnaMdamAM AvI jAva. agara to kalAka badhe zuddhAtmA juo, rIyala ne rIleTiva juo to badhuM regyulara. brahmacarya aradhI jiMdagI pALIza ke pachI paiNIza ?! pachI to paiNAya ja nahIM ane pachI to paiNavAno vicAra sarakho ya nA Avavo joIe, e vicAra e ya guno che. huM kahuM chuM ke koI koInI nakala karazo nahIM. alyA, jarA vicAra to karo. A kaMI nakala karavA jevI cIja na hoya. enA karatAM paNane ! paiNavAthI kaMI mokSa jato rahevAno nathI. bIjA dharmamAM to paiNavAthI mokSa jato rahe. nA paiNavAthI ya kaMI mokSa maLato nathI ane paiNavAthI ya mokSa maLato nathI. te anaMta avatArathI A bAvA thayelA che, to ya mokSa thayelo nahIM. pelo brahmacarya pALe che, mATe mAre paNa tevuM karavuM ja joIe. evuM badhA karazo nahIM. evuM AmAM nA cAle. potAnI jAtane khUba tAvI jovI joIe. ame A amuka amuka chokarAne tAvI joyelA, emane to strInI vAta kahetAM ja e Dare che. paiNAvAnI vAta saMbhArIe te pahelAM ja ene bhaDakATa bhaDakATa thaI jAya che. eTale pachI samajathI prApta brahmacarya 49 ame jANyuM ke enAM udayamAM strI che ja nahIM. A je brahmacaryanuM pakaDyuM che, e bahu sAruM karyuM che. paNa tAnanA mAryA pakaDo, evuM nA pakaDazo. pakaDo to samajIne pakaDajo. have jo kusaMgamAM peTho ke mahIM tarata dahIM thaI jaze. je dUdhanI cA karavAnI che, te dUdha phATI jaze. mahIM dahIM nAkhyA vagara AkhI rAta pAMjarAmAM dUdha ane dahIM joDe joDe mUkyA hoya to savAre dUdha phATI jAya ke nahIM ? evuM bane ke nahIM ? eTale ATalI badhI asaravALuM A jagata che. dahIM nAkhyA vagara phATI jAya. eTalA mATe bahu sTroMga rahevuM. A brahmacaryanI lAInamAM sukhe ya pAra vagaranuM che. bephAma sukha tamane maLyA kare. paNa jo kadI temAM saheja guMcAyA ne lapasI paDyA to mAre ya eTalo paDe. mATe ame tamane cetavIe. viSaya to evI vastu che ne, ke e mANasane lapasAvI pADe. lapasI paDyo teno kheda nA karIza. paNa A jagyAe lapasI paDAya ema che, mATe tyAM jAgRta raheje. pharI pharI karavo nizcaya draDha ! brahmacaryavrata levAnA vicAra Ave ane jo eno nizcaya thAya to enA jevI moTAmAM moTI vastu bIjI kaI kahevAya ? e badhA zAstro samajI gayo !! jene nizcaya thayo ke mAre have chuTavuM ja che, te badhA zAstro samajI gayo. viSayano moha evo che ke game tevA nirmohIne paNa mohI banAvI de. are, sAdhu-AcAryone ya TADhA pADI mele ! praznakartA brahmacaryano nizcaya karyo che, ene vadhAre majabUta karavA zuM karavuM joIe ? dAdAzrI : ApaNe 'nizcaya majabUta karavo che ' evuM nakkI karavuM joIe. praznakartA: ekavAra ApaNe ATaluM bolyA pachI henDala to vAraMvAra mAravA paDe ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, e ja pharI pharI nizcaya karavAno che ane "he dAdA Page #54 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya bhagavAna! huM nizcaya majabUta karuM chuM, mane nizcaya majabUta karavAnI zakti Apo.' evuM bolyA ke zakti vadhe. 50 praznakartA : A avatAre to udayamAM brahmacarya AvyuM. pachI te bIjA avatAramAM kevuM hoya ? dAdAzrI : bIjA avatAramAM paNa evuM ja Ave. atyAre e ema ja kahe ke A brahmacarya to bahu sarasa che, AvuM ja joIe. to bIjA avatAramAM paNa e thavAnuM. praznakartA H amane vicAro uparathI khyAla to Avene, ke udayamAM kevuM Ave che ? dAdAzrI : nizcaya hoya tene kazuM ya aDe nahIM. e game tevuM kare ke game tevA vicAra Ave to paNa aDe nahIM. nahIM to ochA viSayavALAne paNa 'viSaya' udayamAM AvI jAya. mATe nizcaya joIe ! jeno nizcaya Dage nahIM ene kazuM nA thAya, nizcaya Dage tene badhA bhUtAM pesI jAya, badho ya roga pesI jAya. praznakartA : nizcaya majabUta hoya to vicAra Ave to vAMdho nahIM ? dAdAzrI : nA, e vicAra pese ja nahIM ene. kAraNa ke AtmajJAna prApta thayuM che eTale nizcaya thAya, nahIM to nizcaya thAya ja nahIM. he viSaya ! tArA pakSamAM, have tahIM !! praznakartA : A vicArone dabAvI dauM, ema karuM chuM chatAMya vicAro Ave che. dAdAzrI : mAruM kahevAnuM ke vicAro Ave che teno vAMdho nathI, paNa vicAro je Ave che, tene joyA karo ane enA amalamAM tame nA bhaLo. je vicAro Ave che, enA amalamAM tame sahI nA karo. e kahe, "sahI karo.' to ApaNe kahIe 'nA bA, have sahI nahIM thAya. bahu dahADA ame sahI karI, have sahI nahIM karI ApIe.' ame evuM kahIe chIe ke tuM samajathI prApta brahmacarya evuM nakkI kara ke AmAM bhaLavuM ja nathI. chUTo rahIne joyA kara. eTale eka dahADo tuM chUTI jaIza. praznakartA : viSayanA vicAra Ave to paNa joyA karavAnA ? dAdAzrI : joyA ja karavAnA. tyAre zuM ene saMgrahI rAkhavAnA ? praznakartA : uDADI nahIM devAnA ? 51 dAdAzrI : joyA ja karavAnA, joyA karyA pachI che te ApaNe caMdrezane kahevuM ke enAM pratikramaNa karo. mana-vacana-kAyAthI vikArI doSa, icchAo, ceSTAo, e badhA doSo je thayA hoya, enuM pratikramaNa karavuM paDe. viSayanA vicAra Ave che paNa pote emAMthI chUTe, to keTalo badho AnaMda thAya che ?! to viSayathI kAyama chUTe to keTalo AnaMda rahe ? mokSe javAnA cAra pAyA che. jJAna-darzana-cAritra ne tapa. have tapa kyAre karavAnuM Ave ? manamAM viSayanA vicAra AvatA hoya ane potAno sTroMga nizcaya hoya ke mAre viSaya bhogavavo ja nathI. to Ane bhagavAne tapa kahyuM. potAnI kiMcitmAtra icchA nA hoya, chatAM vicAro AvyA kare tyAM tapa karavAnuM che. abrahmacaryanA vicAro Ave, paNa brahmacaryanI zaktio mAMga mAMga kare, e bahu UMcI vAta che. brahmacaryanI zaktio mAMga mAMga kare eTale koIne be varSe, koIne pAMca varSe paNa evo udaya AvI jAya. jeNe abrahmacarya jItyuM eNe AkhuM jagata jItyuM. brahmacaryavALA 52 to zAsanadeva-devIo bahu khuza rahe. lokadraSTithI UMdhuM ja cAlyA kare ne ? paNa jJAnI puruSanI hAjarI hoya tyAre brahmacarya paLAya, nahIM to nA paLAya. eka vicAra nA bagaDavo joIe. vicAra pharyo ke badhuM bagaDyuM. koI paNa raste eka vicAre ya pharavo ja nA joIe. A jJAna che eTale jAgRti to che ja ApaNane ! jAgRti che eTale vicAra ApaNo phare nahIM, to kazuM thAya nahIM. chatAM vicAraphera thAya to pratikramaNa karavAM paDe. kAraNa e pAchalo hisAba che. e eka Page #55 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ para samajathI prApta brahmacarya bhavano je bagADa thayelo hoya, te cUkavI nAkho. eka cetavA jevuM to viSaya bAbatamAM che. eka viSayane jIte to bahu thaI gayuM. eno vicAra AvatAM pahelAM ja ukheDI nAkhavuM paDe. mahIM vicAra Ugyo ke tarata ja ukheDI nAkhavuM paDe. bIjuM, Ama draSTi maLI ko'kanI joDe, to tarata khaseDI nAkhavI paDe, nahIM to e choDavo AvaDo amatho thAya ke tarata emAMthI pAchAM bIja paDe. eTale e choDavo to UgatAM ja kADhI nAkhavo paDe. ApaNane khabara paDe ke A gulAbano choDa na hoya; A bIjo che. eTale tarata ukheDIne pheMkI devuM. je saMgamAM ApaNe phasAIe evuM hoya e saMgathI bahu ja cheTA rahevuM, nahIM to eka phero phasAyA ke pharI phasAya phasAya ja thayA kare, mATe tyAMthI bhAgavuM. lapasavAnI jagyA hoya tyAMthI bhAgavuM, to lapasI nA paDAya. satsaMgamAM to bIjI 'phAIlo' bhegI nahIM thavAnI ne ? eka jAtanA vicAravALA badhA bhegA thAya ne?!. be pAMdaDe ja tiMdI nAkhavuM ! manamAM viSayano vicAra Avyo ke tarata tene ukheDI nAkhavo joIe ane kaMIka AkarSaNa thayuM ke enuM tarata ja pratikramaNa karavuM joIe. A be zabda pakaDe tene brahmacarya kAyama rahe. ApaNane ema lAge ke A viSaya-vikAranuM AkarSaNa thayuM ke tarata pratikramaNa karavuM joIe ane koI viSaya-vikArano mahIMthI vicAra Ugyo to e choDavo tarata ja ukheDIne bahAra pheMkI devo. basa, A be kare, ene pachI vAMdho nA Ave. praznakartA : paNa jAgRti ane A be ekI sAthe rahe ? dAdAzrI : nA, jAgRti hoya to ja A thAya, nahIM to thAya nahIM samajathI prApta brahmacarya evI rIte pheMkI dejo. evuM A mizracetananA vicAra Ave to ugavA ja nA dezo. ene to niMdI ja nAkhajo, to eka dahADo AnAthI ukela Avaze. nahIM to eka jo ugyuM to keTalAMya avatAra bagADI nAkhe. bhagavAne viSayanA choDavAne ja niMdI nAkhavAnuM kahyuM che. bIjA choDavA to cho ne Uge, e jokhamI nathI. paNa mizracetana jokhamI che. anAdikALano abhyAsa eTale mana pAchuM AnuM A ja ciMtavana kare. tyAre pAcho viSayano choDavo Uge. A magane pANI nAkhe to Uge, te nIce mULiyuM nAkhe. eTale tyAMthI ApaNe jANIe ke A to choDavo thaze. eTale AvuM AmAM vicAra Avyo eTale tyAMthI ja ene ukheDIne pheMkI devo. A viSaya ekalo ja evo che ke AvaDo saheja choDavo moTo thayA pachI jato nathI. eTale ene mULamAMthI ja ukheDIne kheMcI kADhavuM. have jo AvI jAgRti rahe to mANasa ArapAra jaI zake, nahIM to A to bebhAnapaNuM che. A to cAdare vITeluM mAMsa che. AkhI duniyAno badho kacaro A zarIramAM che, chatAM ya A cAdarane lIdhe kevo moha thAya che ! e moha zAthI utpanna thAya che ? ajAgRtithI ! pachI pAchaLathI pastAvuM ya paDe che ne ? pastAvo eTale zuM ? pazcAtApa. pazcAtApa eTale mahIM DaMkhyA kare. enA karatAM jAgRti hoya to kevuM sarasa ! jAgRti jo nA rahetI hoya to pachI zAdI kara. ApaNane teno vAMdho nathI. zAdI eTale nikAlI bAbata. nahIM to jAgRti rAkhavI paDe. atyAra sudhI narI ajAgRti ja hatI. A to temAMthI A jAgRti karavAnI bAkI rahI. ekaso ne ATha dIvA hoya, te bAra dIvA to saLagAvyA. pachI teramo, caudamo ema saLagAbe javAnA. praznakartA jAgRtipUrvaka bhAnamAM hovA chatAM kheMcAI gayA, ApaNuM tyAM AgaLa kazuM cAlyuM nahIM, to zuM karavuM ? eno keTalo doSa bese ? dAdAzrI : doSa to kharo ja ne ! vaide kahyuM hoya ke maracuM nA khAzo ne ApaNe maracuM khaIe, to zuM thAya ? paNa evAM to kaMI bahu phUliza nIkaLe nahIM, thoDAMka ja nIkaLe ane eNe maracuM khAdhuM, te pachI eno roga vadhe. praznakartA : paNa have eNe karavuM zuM ? upAya to hovo joIene ? ne ! A choDavo ugato hoya to, tyAMthI ja samajI javuM ke A choDavo kaMcano che. eTale ene ugatAMnI sAthe ja ukheDIne pheMkI devuM. nahIM to coMTaze, to e kUMcathI AkhA zarIre lhAya baLaze. mATe pharI Uge nahIM Page #56 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 55 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : pratikramaNa karavAnuM. bIjuM zuM ? praznakartA : paNa jJAnIne kahevAnuM nahIM ? jeNe AjJA ApI hoya, ene kahevuM to paDaze ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, kahe to paNa pratikramaNa karavAnuM. bAkI pelo maracuM khAya, emAM jJAnI kaMI ochA jhera khAya ? koIka dahADo mahIM kharAba vicAra ugyA ane ene kADhI nAkhatAM vAra lAgI to jarA moTuM pratikramaNa karavuM paDe. nahIM to vicAra ugyo ke tarata kADhI nAkhavAnuM, ukheDIne tarata pheMkI devAnuM. bAkI A viSaya-vikAra evo che ke eka sekanDe ya jarA ya rahevA nA devAya. nahIM to jhADa thatAM vAra nA lAge. eTale ugyo ke tarata ukheDIne pheMkI devAno. jema ApaNe ghauM vAvavAnA hoya ne tamAkuno choDavo UgI nIkaLe to ene tarata kADhI nAkhIe. evuM AmAM ya viSayane ukheDI nAkhavAno. praznakartA : viSayanuM ajJAna e zuM che ? dAdAzrI : bagIcAmAM zuM rAkhyuM che, e Uge tyAre khabara paDe ke A to dhANA UgyA, A to methI UgI, enA pAMdaDAM parathI khabara paDe ne ? tevuM viSayanA bIjanuM che, tene Uge tyAMthI ja kheMcI nAkhIe. je paDelAM bIja ukheDI nAkhe che, e ukheDI nAkhyA pachI je viSayo che, e viSaya ja nathI. jhADa che to bhale rahyuM, varasAda paDe to bhale paDe. ema mAnIne, ahIM boraDInuM jhADa hoya, te enuM bIja to pharlAga che Uge. pavana che te bIjane game tyAM kheMcI jAya eTale ApaNe boraDI nIce ja nahIM, paNa AjubAju badhe UgelA bIjane ukheDI nAkhavAnAM. bIja kone kahevAya ? anya saMyoga bhegA thAya tyAre bIja paDe to e Uge, to UgatAMnI sAthe ene ukheDI nAkhavuM. be prakAranA viSaya, eka cArja ne bIjo DiscArja. cArjanA bIjane dhoI nAkhavAnuM. kharI rIte to vicAra ja nA Avavo joIe. jJAnI puruSane lakSmInA, viSayanA vicAra ja nA Ave, eTale bIja paDavAnI ne samajathI prApta brahmacarya UgavAnI vAta ja kyAM rahI ?! jo tamane vicAra Ave to tame ene ukheDI nAkhajo, to pachI vicAro nA Uge. eka ekane Ama ukheDI nAkhavAnAM. A to akrama jJAna che, te ajJAna gayuM che, paNa pAchalo mAla rahyo che tethI cetavaNI ApavI paDe. A bIjano svabhAva kevo che ke paDyA ja kare. AMkho to jAta jAtanuM jue eTale mahIM bIja paDe, to ene pachI ukheDI nAkhavAnuM. A hoTala dekhe to khAvAnI icchA thAyane ? enA jevuM che. ApaNe to mokSe javuM che mATe cetavAnuM che. AMkhathI jovAthI kaMI paNa kheMcANa thAya e bhayaMkara roga che ema mAno. jyAM sudhI bIja rUpe che tyAM sudhI upAya che, pachI kazuM nA vaLe. kheMcAya cita raste jatAM. praznakartA : ahIM ghera beThA hoIe to citta AghuMpAchuM thatuM nathI, paNa rastA para saheja nIkaLyA to strI vagara rastA hotA nathI ane A bAju viSayanI gAMTha phUTyA vagara rahetI nathI. dAdAzrI : ane tamAre bahAra pharyA vagara cAle evuM nathI! bahAra kaMIka levA javuM paDe, nokarI-dhaMdhe javuM paDe ane viSaya Ubho thayA vagara rahe nahIM ane eTale tenA pratikramaNa karyA vagara cAle nahIM. pratikramaNa karIe to ukela Ave, nahIM to peluM AkarSaNa UbhuM raheluM to coTyuM ja pachI. bahAra javuM-AvavuM paDe, te cAle evuM nathI, jagatamAM ghera besI rahe to cAle nahIM. 'vyavasthita' pramANe javuM paDe ane pelA coMTyA vagara nA rahe. jAgRti to hoya, to ya gayA avatAranA badhA meLa che ne, te AkarSaNa thAya ne pAchuM bhAMjagaDa thayA vagara rahe nahIM. eTale ghera AvIne pachI pratikramaNa kare to UkhaDI jAya. praznakartA: pratikramaNa barobara thatAM nathI. dAdAzrI : pratikramaNa karavAno nizcaya karIe to thAya. pratikramaNa to avazya karavAM ja joIe. pratikramaNa karyA pachI mana cokhkhuM thaI jAya. A lapasaNo kALa kahevAya che. sayugamAMthI dvApara, tretA ema lapasato lapasato A chello kALa AvI rahyo che, emAM brahmacaryanuM mahattva Page #57 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ pa6 samajathI prApta brahmacarya ghaTI gayuM che, eTale ja A dazA beThI che. brahmacaryanuM jo mahattva rahyuM hota to A dazA ja nA besata ! saMsArI sthAna mATe vAMdho nathI, paNa brahmacaryanuM mahattva ja lokoe uDADI mUkyuM. eTale pachI potAnI jAgRti badhI maMda paDI jAya. ApaNe A jJAna ApyuM to ya keTalAMkane jAgRti joIe evI nathI rahetI, nahIM to ApaNuM jJAna ApyA pachI to jAgRti kevI rahe ? bhagavAna jevI jAgRti rahe. tane jAgRti bahu rahe che ke maMda paDI jAya che ? praznakartA : limiTanI bahu khabara nathI paDatI. dAdAzrI : bahu jAgRti hoya to ApaNane Thokaro nA vAge ne ? bhUla thAya che tAre ? bhUla thaI gayA pachI khabara paDe che ne? praznakartA : hA, pachI khabara paDe. dAdAzrI : eTale jo jAgRti bahu hoya to, bhUla thaI gayA pachI khabara paDe evuM nA thAya. bhUla thaI hoya te pahelethI ja khabara paDI jAya ane e vastu thAya paNa kharI pAchI, paNa potAne pahelAM khabara paDe ne pachI thAya. eTale vastu kaMI aTakatI nathI, paNa jAgRti bahu hoya to pahelethI khabara paDI jAya. praznakartA : jo ApaNe niraMtara brahmacaryamAM rahevuM hoya to jAgRti bhAre joIene ? dAdAzrI : jAgRti e ja AtmA che ane pote jo UMghI gayo hoya to bIjA kAma thaI jAya. mATe jAgRtimAM kazuM ya kAma avaLuM nA thAya ane bIjI Dakhala nathI ne bahu, paNa Dakhalo aNasamajaNathI UbhI thayelI to mAra khAvo paDe che ne ? praznakartA: pote viSayamAM sahamata nA thAya to bacI javAya, evI te dahADe vAta nIkaLI hatI. eTale emAM potAnI sthiratA kevI rIte AvI zake ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya gayA vagara rahe nahIM ne ! kAraNa ke karmanA udaye jyAre evuM banavAnuM hoya che tyAre chUTI jaIne banI jAya. eTale tAre zuM karavAnuM ? ke tAre to phakta jAgRti ja rAkhavAnI ke, 'AmAM nahIM ja !" sahamatatA chuTe nahIM ene mATe "keraphUla' rahevuM paDe, chatAM pachI paDI gayA to eno vAMdho nahIM. ApaNe gADImAMthI paDI javuM nathI, chatAM paDI gayA to ene ApaNe "vyavasthita' kahIe chIe ne ? paNa jANI joIne koI paDe ? draSTi mAMDIe, to draSTi bagaDete ?! game te eka bAju hRdaya to lAgeluM ja rahe che, kAM to A bAju lAgeluM rahe kAM to A bAju rahe. ahIM chUTI jAya to paNe lAgI jAya, enA mATe ApaNe besI nA rahevuM paDe. mATe bahu cetavA jevuM che. ApaNe ahIMthI choDIe tyAre ja paNe lAgene ? ane tyAM coMTavAnuM thAya, te pahelAM cetI javuM. draSTi to mAMDavI ja nahIM, nIcuM ja joIne cAlavuM. tuM koInA sAme draSTi mAMDato nathI ne ? praznakartA : nA. dAdAzrI : to to bahu DAhyo, tuM jItI gayo. draSTi to kyAre ya nA mAMDavI, bahu bUmAbUma kare to ya. nahIM to ahIM A satsaMgamAM dila lAgeluM haze te UDI jaze. duSamakALamAM AMkhane saMbhALavI. A duSamakALa che, mATe ceto, haju ceto. draSTi to bilakula zuddha rahevI joIe. pahelAMnA kALamAM to kaDaka mANaso, AMkho phoDI nAkhatA hatA. ApaNe AMkhane phoDI nahIM nAkhavAnI e to murkhAI che; paNa ApaNe draSTi pheravI nAkhavAnI che, tema chatAM jovAI jAya to pratikramaNa karI levuM. A pratikramaNa to eka miniTa cUkazo nahIM. khAdhe-pIdhe vAMkuM thayuM haze to cAlaze, paNa A draSTi ja kema karAya ? saMsAramAM moTAmAM moTo roga ja A che, Ane laIne saMsAra Ubho rahyo che. viSayanA mULiyA upara saMsAra Ubho rahyo che, viSaya ja mULa che. viSaya to darekane nA ja game, paNa A pahelI vakhatanA hisAba thaI gayA che ne AMkha mAMDI tyArathI hisAba cAlu thaI gayo. te pachI dAdAzrI : hA. paNa sahamata eTale, A nizcayamAM kyAre ya paNa chUTe nahIM. evI sahamatatA hoya, to pachI kazuM nA thAya, paNa e chUTI Page #58 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya nA choDe. A badhI strIo kaMI ApaNane AkarSatI nathI, je AkarSe che. te ApaNo pAchalo hisAba che; mATe tyAM ukheDIne pheMkI do, cokhkhuM karI nAkho. ApaNA jJAna pachI kazo vAMdho nathI Avato, mAtra eka viSaya mATe ame cetavIe chIe. draSTi mAMDavI ja guno che ane e samajyA pachI jokhamadArI khUba vadhI jAya che, mATe koInI joDe draSTi ja nA mAMDavI. draSTi mAMDavAthI ja badhuM bagaDe che. draSTi bagaDe che, te ya ekadama nathI bagaDatI, pahelAMno hisAba hoya to ja AkarSaNa thAya. mULa draSTi nA bagaDe, bagaDelI ja draSTi bagaDe. pratikramaNa pachI, daMDano upAya ! gayA avatAre je bhUla thayelI, tenAthI A avatAre draSTi paDI jAya. ApaNe draSTi nA pADavI hoya to ya draSTi paDI jAya. draSTi paDyA pachI ApaNe nA kheMcAvA devuM hoya to ya pAchuM mana kheMcAya. eTale pahelAMno hisAba che mATe AvuM badhuM thAya che, tyAM ApaNe pratikramaNa karIne chUTIe, to ya pAchuM pharI draSTi paDe to pharI pratikramaNa karIe, evuM so-so vakhata pratikramaNa kare tyAre chUTAya. keTalAMka pAMca pratikramaNathI chUTe. keTalAMka eka pratikramaNathI chUTe. praznakartA: pratikramaNa karyA chatAMya tyAM cAlyuM jAya, to e nabaLAI ja ne ? ke pachI dAnata cora thaI jAya che ? ke mahIM, mana-buddhi-cittaahaMkAra potAne chetaravA lAge che ? dAdAzrI : pratikramaNa karyA chatAM kArya thaI jAya, to to pachI e 'vyavasthita che. e 'vyavasthita'nA hAthamAM AvI gayuM kahevAya, e vyavasthitanI bhUla che. chatAM A vadhAre paDatuM thAya tyAre enA mATe khAsa upavAsa ne evuM badhuM daMDa levo joIe, Ane vIMdhyuM kahevAya. goLI mArIe ne ekjhakTa jagyAe vAge evuM A vIMdhyuM kahevAya. enAthI karma nA baMdhAya. eTale A pharI bhUla thAya tyAM AgaLa to ApaNe pratikramaNa karavuM joIe, joDe joDe bIjI kaMIka zikSA levI joIe. ApaNA manane bhAvatuM hoya te dahADe ochuM karI nAkhIe, evI kaMIka zikSA karavI joIe. samajathI prApta brahmacarya jovuM, sAmAnya bhAve ! strI saMbaMdhI to AMkha pahelI bagaDe. AMkha bagaDe pachI AgaLa vadhe che. jenI AMkha nA bagaDI tene kazuM ja nA thAya. have tAre jo sephasAIDa thavuM hoya to AMkha bagaDavA nA devI ane AMkha bagaDI hoya to pratikramaNa karavuM. praznakartA : e viSaya-vikArI draSTinA pariNAma kevA ? dAdAzrI : adhogati. A to Akho dahADo 'cA' sAMbhare. 'cA' dekhe ne draSTi bagaDe, to te cA pIdhA vagara rahe ke pachI ? draSTi nA bagaDe e moTAmAM moTo guNa kahevAya. bhagavAne kaheluM ke jagatamAM badhI cIjo khAjo, paNa manuSya jAtinI AMkhane nA jozo ane enA moDhAne dhArI dhArIne nA jozo. juo to sAmAnya bhAve jojo, viSaya bhAve jozo nahIM. A kerIo joIe ane bAjue mUkIe to paDI rahe, ene eka ja bAju che; paNa A jIvatI jIvAta to coMTI paDaze, pachI bAjue mUkazo to dAvo mAMDaze. A laganamAM daravAje UbhA hoya ne dareka mANasa Ave, ene dhArI dhArIne jue che ? nA. e to eka Ave ne eka jAya ema sAmAnya bhAve jue, evuM jovAnuM che. amAre jJAna thatAM pahelAM nakkI ja rAkheluM ke sAmAnya bhAve jovuM. A badhA loko nA hota to sAruM ne ? ApaNA bhAva ja bagaData nahIM ne ?! praznakartA: nA, e to ApaNI mahIM ja evA bhAva che, eTale sAmAM nimitta bhegAM thayAM che ne ? eTale ApaNo bhAva ja ApaNe toDI nAkhavA joIe, to nimitta vaLage nahIM ne ! dAdAzrI : kharuM kahyuM. eTale ja ame kahIe chIe ke ApaNe bhAvanidrA TALo. sarva prakAranA bhAva Ave evA A loko che, temAM bhAvanidrA nA AvavI joIe, dehanidrA Ave to cAlaze. praznakartA : paNa bhAvanidrA ja Ave che ne ? Page #59 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ du0 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : evuM kema cAle ? A Trena sAmethI AvatI hoya to bhAvanidrA nathI rAkhato. Trena to eka avatAranuM maraNa lAve tevuM che, paNa A to anaMta avatAranuM jokhama che. citra-vicitra bhAva utpanna thAya evuM A jagata che, emAM tAre tArI meLe samajI levAnuM che. bhAvanidrA Ave che ke nahIM ? bhAvanidrA Ave to jagata tane coMTaze. have bhAvanidrA Ave, to tyAM e ja dukAnanA zuddhAtmA pAse brahmacarya mATenI zaktio mAMgavI ke, "he zuddhAtmA bhagavAna, mane AkhA jagata joDe brahmacarya pALavAnI zaktio Apo. amArI pAse jo zaktio mAMge to uttama ja che, paNa peluM DirekTa, je dukAna joDe vyavahAra thayo che tyAM mAMgI levuM e sArAmAM sAruM. suMdara phUlo hoya ne tyAM jovAnuM mana thAya chene ? tema A suMdara rUpALA manuSyone jovAnuM mana thaI jAya che ne tyAM ja jhApaTa vAgI jAya che. A phUlo soDajo, khAjo, pIjo; paNa 'A' eka ja jagyAe jovAnI jarUra nathI, kyAMya AMkha milAvavI nahIM. samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : jyAM sudhI mIThuM lAge che ne, jokhamadArI bhale lAgatI hoya, paNa mIThuM lAge tyAMthI jokhamadArI ko'ka dahADo bhUlAvI de. karmanA udaya evA evA Ave ke jokhamadArI bhUplAvI de. ane A kayA hisAbe mIThuM lAge che, e ja mane samajAtuM nathI. AmAM kayo bhAga mITho che ?! praznakartA : e bhrAMtithI mIThuM lAge che ? dAdAzrI : bhrAMtithI mIThuM lAgatuM hoya to ya sAruM, A to bhrAMti ya na hoya. Ane koNa mIThuM kahe ? A muMbaImAM pANI eTaluM badhuM ochuM thaI jAya ke nahAvAno tAla ja nA paDe, to A lokonI zI dazA thAya ? gharamAM eka rUmamAM badhAthI besAya nahIM, evAM to gaMdhAI UThe ! A to roja nahAya che, to ya gaMdhAya che ne ? ane jo nA nahAya to mAthuM phATI jAya evA gaMdhAya. A nahAya che to ya bapore be vAge kapaDuM ghasIne jo pANImAM nIcovIene, to pANI khAruM thaI jAya. chatAM A deha kiMmatI kema gaNyo che ? kAraNa ke bhagavAna mahIM pragaTa thayA che, vyakta thayA che. eTalA mATe badhA deha karatAM Ane kiMmatI gaNyuM; tyAre loko ene kiMmatI bIjI rIte laI gayA. praznakartA: viSayamAM sauthI vadhAre mIThAza mAnelI che, to kayA AdhAre mAnelI che ? dAdAzrI : e je mIThAza ene lAgI gaI ane bIjI jagyAe mIThAza joI nathI, eTale ene viSayamAM mIThAza bahu lAge che. jovA jAya to vadhAremAM vadhAre gaMdavADo tyAM ja che, paNa mIThAzane lIdhe ene bebhAnapaNuM thaI jAya che. eTale ene khabara nathI paDatI. jo A viSaya e gaMdavADo samajAya, to enI mIThAza badhI UDI jAya. galagaliyAMthI ja jagata phasAyeluM che. galagaliyAM thAya ke tarata ja jJAna mUkI devAnuM, eTale tenAthI badhuM jude juduM dekhAya ne tenAthI chUTAya. chatAM ya AkarSaNa kema ? praznakartA : amuka eka ja jagyAe citta vadhu kheMcAya che. praznakartA: nA jovuM hoya to ya suMdara strI dekhAI jAya, to tyAM zuM karavuM ? dAdAzrI : te ghaDI AMkha nA milAvavI. praznakartA : AMkha milAI jAya to zuM karavuM ? dAdAzrI : ApaNI pAse pratikramaNanuM sAdhana che, tenAthI dhoI nAkhavuM. AMkha maLe to to pratikramaNa tarata ja karI nAkhavuM joIe. tethI to kahyuM che ne ke citarAmaNavALI strIno phoTo ke mUrti nA mUkazo. e mIThAzanuM pRthakkaraNa to karI joIe ! have kyAMya mIThuM lAge che ke ? praznakartA : mIThuM to lAgI jAya che, paNa e jokhamadArI che evuM samajAya. Page #60 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : e jagyA khodI nAkhavI, khodIne kADhI nAkhavI. e jagyA kyAM che ? praznakartA : eka jagyA eTale amuka avayavo tarapha ja vadhu draSTi jAya. dAdAzrI : jene bahu jatuM rahetuM hoya teNe paiNavuM. badhe draSTi bagADavA karatAM eka kUvAmAM paDavuM sAruM, pachI pacAsa varSe ya koI nahIM maLe. corI karavAnI game che ? jUThuM bolavAnuM, maravAnuM game ? tyAre parigraha game ? to basa viSayamAM evuM mahIM zuM paDyuM che ke game che ? praznakartA : bilakula gamatuM ja nathI, to ya AkarSaNa thaI jAya che. eno bahu kheda rahyA kare che. dAdAzrI : e kheda rahe to peluM jAya. eka AtmA ja joIe. to pachI viSaya zeno thAya ? bIjuM joIe, to viSaya thAya ne ? viSayanuM tane pRthakkaraNa karatAM AvaDe che ? praznakartA : Apa jaNAvo. dAdAzrI : pRthakkaraNa eTale zuM ke viSaya e AMkhe game evA hoya che ? kAne sAMbhaLe to game ? ane jIbhathI cATe to mIThuM lAge ? ekya indriyane gamatuM nathI. A nAkane to kharekharuM game ne ? are, bahu sugaMdha Ave ne ? attara copaDeluM hoya ne ? eTale AvuM pRthakkaraNa kare, tyAre khabara paDe. AkhuM narka ja tyAM paDyuM che, paNa AvuM pRthakkaraNa nahIM hovAthI loka mUMjhAyuM che. tyAM ja moha thAya che, e ya ajAyabI ja che ne ! praznakartA : to e AkarSaNa zenuM rahe che ? dAdAzrI : aNasamajaNanuM. jema A aNasamajaNathI tAra joInTa rahI gayo hoya to tenuM AkarSaNa thayA kare. paNa have samajaNa AvI ke A to AvuM che. pahelAM to ApaNe sAcuM jANatA nahotA ne AvuM pRthakkaraNa kareluM ja nahIM ne ! lokoe mAnyuM tevuM ApaNe sAcuM mAnyuM samajathI prApta brahmacarya ke A ja kharo rasto che, paNa have jANyuM tyArathI ApaNe samajI gayA ke A AmAM to poluM khAtuM che. emAM to ohohoho.... eTalAM badhAM jokhama che ke enA lIdhe to Akho saMsAra Ubho rahyo che ane Akho dahADo mAra paNa ene lIdhe ja paDe che. emAM ya jo indriyone game evuM hoya to ThIka, paNa A to ekaMya indriyane gamatuM ja nathI. praznakartA : citta hajI kheMcAyA kare che, draSTi bagaDe che. dAdAzrI : ApaNI bena hoya, tyAM zI rIte jovAya che ? praznakartA : tyAM to kazuM nA thAya. dAdAzrI : kema, e strI ja che ne ? tyAM zAthI vikAra nA thAya ? enI para kema vicAra nahIM bagaDatA hoya ? bena e strI nathI ? praznakartA : paramANunI asara haze tethI ? dAdAzrI : A to ApaNe jyAM bhAva karyo hoya tyAM ja ApaNI draSTi bagaDe. bena upara koI dahADo ya bhAva karyo nathI, tethI draSTi bagaDe ya nahIM ane keTalAMka lokoe bena upare ya bhAva karyo hoya to tyAMya draSTi bagaDe !!! praznakartA : chatAM, Ama vyavahAramAM strInA saMjogo to bhegA thAya che, te Ama draSTi paDI ja jAya che. dAdAzrI : draSTi paDI jAya, e to svAbhAvika che. emAM pUrvabhavano doSa che. paNa have ApaNe zuM karavuM ? draSTi paDI javI, emAM to kaMI cAle evuM nathI. ApaNe game eTaluM pakaDI rAkho to ya AMkhano svabhAva che jovAno, e joI lIdhA vagara rahe ja nahIM. hisAba che, eTale joyA vagara nahIM rahe. praznakartA : AvuM dahADAmAM be-cAra vakhata thaI jAya. be-cAra vakhata to ema lAge ke A kaMI barobara rahetuM nathI. dAdAzrI : e ne ApaNe be judA ja chIe ne ? ane e to phare Page #61 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 65 samajathI prApta brahmacarya nahIM. apharane ApaNe pheravavA jaIe to zuM thAya ? paNa A pratikramaNathI, dahADe dahADe pheraphAra thato jAya ne ? praznakartA : hA. e bAjunI Ama sthiratA vadhe che. rAjA jItya, jItAyuM AkhuM rAja ! kRpALudeve to zuM kahyuM che ke, nIrakhIne navayauvanA, leza na viSaya nidAna, gaNe kASTanI pUtaLI, te bhagavAna samAna." - zrImad rAjacaMdra ApaNe akramamArgamAM strIne kASTanI pUtaLI nahIM gaNavAnI. ApaNe AtmA jovo. A to kramikamArgavALA kASTanI pUtaLI kahe, paNa e goThavaNI kyAM sudhI rahe ? jarA pharI vicAra Ave, te ghaDIe pAchuM UDI jAya. paNa ApaNe zuddhAtmA joIe to ? eTale navayauvanAne dekhI ane mahIM citta jhalAyuM hoya, tyAM AgaLa zuddhAtmAne jo jo karIe eTale badhuM jatuM rahe, citta pachI chUTI jAya. viSaya jItavA mATe zuddhAtmAne jue to ukela Avaze, nahIM to ukela nahIM Ave. A saghaLA saMsAranI, ramaNI nAyakarUpa, e tyAgI tyAguM badhuM, kevaLa zoka svarUpa." - zrImad rAjacaMdra badho zoka ja enAthI Ubho thayo che. A strIno tyAga thayo, enAthI chUTA thayA ke badho ukela AvI gayo. je badhuM niraMtara zokanuM ja svarUpa che. Akho dahADo zoka, zoka ne zoka ja hoya. zoka ja maLato hoya, e pachI jatuM rahe. nahIM to je vaLagyuM, te pachI chUTuM ja nA thAya samajathI prApta brahmacarya eka rAjAne jItyo hoya to daLa, pUra ne adhikAra badhuM ApaNane maLI jAya. enuM lazkara badhuM ja maLI jAya. lazkara jItavA jauM to rAjA nA jitAya. tema A rAjA (viSayarUpI) jItyo ke badhuM ja ApaNA tAbAmAM AvyuM. tethI ame mukta rahIe chIene ! A eka ja viSaya evo che ke je jIte to rAjapATa badhuM hAthamAM AvI gayuM. amane viSayano vicAra sarakho ya Ave nahIM. TaLe jJAta te dhyAta.... 'viSayarUpa aMkurathI, TaLe jJAna ane dhyAna, leza madirApAnathI, chAke jAma ajJAna." - zrImad rAjacaMdra eka ja jo viSaya karyo to badhuM bagaDI jAya. pharI anaMta avatAranI khoTa Ave ane narkagatino adhikArI thAya. kyo viSaya che te narkagati nA kare ? je lokamAnya hoya. koI paraNelo mANasa, enI strIne laIne jato hoya to loko vAMdho uThAve ? praznakartA : nA uThAve. dAdAzrI : ane paraNelo nA hoya ne jato hoya to ? praznakartA: to vAMdho uThAve. dAdAzrI : e lokamAnya nA kahevAya. e narkagatino adhikArI thAya. baMnene narkamAM javuM paDe, baMnene narkamAM sAthe rahevuM paDe pAchuM. praznakartA: 'viSayarUpa aMkurathI....' eTale ? dAdAzrI : aMkura eTale mahIM bIja hoya ne e vicAra Avyo ne tenI mahIM tanmayAkAra thAya e aMkura kahevAya. e aMkura Ubho thayo ke gayo..... tethI ApaNe nakkI karIe chIe ne ke vicAra AvatAM pahelAM kheMcIne bahAra nAkhI dejo. e aMkura phUTyo ke pachI jJAna ne dhyAna badhuM tUTI jAya, khalAsa thaI jAya. ne ? eka viSayane jItatAM, jItyo sahu saMsAra, nRpati jItatAM jItiye, daLa, pUra ne adhikAra." - zrImad rAjacaMdra Page #62 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 66 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : A akrama vijJAnamAM paNa evuM ja hoya ? dAdAzrI : jJAna ne dhyAna TaLI jAya. vicAra Ave to jJAna ne dhyAna ekaluM ja nahIM paNa AtmA ja jato rahe. kramikamAM to jJAna, dhyAna jatuM rahe ne akramamAM to AtmA Apelo che, te jato rahe. eTale aMkura sudhI karAya nahIM. lIMka cAlu, tenuM jokhama AmAM che kazuM nahIM. jJAna prApta thaI jAya to samajAya ke viSayamAM che kazuM ya nahIM. praznakartA : ApanA jJAna pachI ame A avatAramAM ja viSaya bIjathI ekadama nigraMtha thaI zakIe ? dAdAzrI : badhuM ja thaI zake. AvatA bhava mATe bIja nA paDe. A jUnAM bIja hoya e tame dhoI nAkho, navAM bIja paDe nahIM. praznakartA: eTale AvatA avatAramAM viSaya mATe eke ya vicAra nahIM Ave ? dAdAzrI : nahIM Ave. thoDuM ghaNuM kAcuM rahI gayuM hoya to pahelAnA eTalA thoDA vicAra Ave paNa te vicAra bahu aDe nahIM. jyAM hisAba nahIM, tenuM jokhama nahIM. e to lIMka cAlu hoya tenuM jokhama Ave. amathA amathA to mANasane enI mA joDeno ya viSayano vicAra Ave. paNa te lIMka nahIM eTale UDI jAya pachI. viSayanuM saheja dhyAna kare ke jJAna bhraSTa thaI jAya. 'hato bhraSTa, tato bhraSTa' thaI jAya. jalebInuM dhyAna kare to evuM nA thAya, A yoni viSayanuM dhyAna kare to tevuM thaI jAya. hAra jIta, viSayatI ke potAnI ? ame to keTalAMya avatArathI bhAva karelA. te amane to viSaya mATe bahu ja cIDha, te ema karatAM karatAM chuTI gayA. viSaya amane mULathI ja nA game. paNa zuM karavuM ? kema chUTavuM ? paNa amArI draSTi bahu UMDI, bahu vicArazIla, Ama game tevAM kapaDAM paherelAM hoya to ya badhuM ArapAra dekhAya nayuM, emanuM ema draSTithI cogaradamanuM bahu dekhAya. eTale rAga nA thAya ne ? amane bIjuM zuM thayuM ke Atmasukha prApta thayuM. jalebI khAIe, tyAra pachI cA moLI lAge. ema AtmAnuM sukha jene prApta thaI gayuM, tene viSayasukha badhA moLAM lAge, tane moLuM nathI lAgatuM? pahelAM je lAgatuM hatuM, evuM have nA lAge ne ? praznakartA : moLuM lAge to kharuM, paNa pAcho moha utpanna thaI jAya. dAdAzrI : moha to utpanna thaI jAya. e to karmanA udaya hoya. karma baMdhAyelAM che, te moha utpanna karAve. paNa tamane Ama lAge kharuM ke kharuM sukha to AtmAmAM che ? praznakartA : hA, e barAbara lAge. A viSayamAM sukha nathI, e to pAkuM samajAI gayuM che. dAdAzrI : bIjI koI strIne jouM, to tane vicAra nathI thato ne ? praznakartA : thAya koI vAra. dAdAzrI : evuM thAya eTale ke haju kacAza che. praznakartA : khAlI Ama sAdhAraNa moha ja thAya, bIjuM kaMI nahIM. dAdAzrI : moha to pachI DhasaDI ja jAya ne ! A viSayanI bAbata to jItavI bahu agharI vastu che. A ApaNA jJAnathI jItI zake ema che. A jJAna kAyama sukhadAyI che ne to jItAya. e sevatathI pAtratA ! pachI kRpALudeva to zuM kahe che ke, pAtra vinA vastu nA rahe, pAtre Atmika jJAna, pAtra thavA sevA sadA, brahmacarya mati mAna.' - zrImad rAjacaMdra Page #63 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya brahmacarya seve to pAtra thAya, ema kRpALudeva kahe che. emaNe ema nathI kahyuM ke kerIo nA khAzo. mULa ja pakaDyuM che AkhuM. jo sAmo ajIva hota ne dAvo nA mAMDe, to brahmacarya nA sevata ApaNe. paNa A to dAvo mAMDe. "je navavADa vizuddhithI, dhare ziyaLa sukhadAya' - zrImad rAjacaMdra praznakartA : navavADa vizuddha brahmacaryanI vyAkhyA zuM ? dAdAzrI : navavADa eTale evuM che ne, mana-vacana-kAyAthI brahmacarya pALavAnuM. manathI je vicAratA hoya, te badhuM vicAravA karavAnuM nahIM. AgaLanA viSayo yAda Ave to, te ghaDIe badhuM visAre pADI devAnuM. vANIthI bolavAnuM nahIM, dehathI bahu dUra rahevAnuM. navavADa kahI che ne, ke strI beThI hoya tyAM ApaNe besavuM nahIM, tene jovI nahIM. koI viSaya bhogavato hoya to ApaNe khAnagI rIte tirADamAMthI jovuM nahIM. joIe to ya ApaNuM mana bagaDI jAya. ApaNe pAchaLa je saMsAra bhogavyo hoya, tene yAda karavo nahIM. yAda karIe eTale pharI pAchAM vicAra Ave, Ama AvI rIte badhI navavADo che. strI beThI hoya te jagyAe besazo nahIM evuM kahe. pachI e jagyA upara zuM thAya ? rAga bese ke dveSa bese ? dveSa thayA kare. UlaTuM, rAga-dveSanAM kArakhAnAM vadhyAM. eTale navavADane ApaNe zuM karIe ? enA karatAM eka vADa karI nAkhane to ya bahu thaI gayuM. navavADa karavA jatAM pAchAM bIjA rAga-dveSa UbhAM thaze. enA karatAM sthULa brahmacarya pALone ane manamAM je vicAra Ave to enAM pratikramaNa karI dhoI nAkho. navavADa to atyAre koIthI paNa thaI zake nahIM, eka-be vADa to tUTI gayelI hoya. to tame zI rIte navavADa pUrI karI zako ? ApaNe to ame je dekhADyuM che emAM raho. ApaNuM kare to emAM navavADa badhuM ya AvI jAya che. navavADanuM karavAmAM ahaMkAranI jarUra paDe. paNa ApaNe tyAM to karavAno mArga ja nathI. praznakartA : to pachI pratikramaNa karatI vakhate ApaNe yAda karIe chIe, eTale eno navo baMdha nA paDe ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya F dAdAzrI : hA, yAda Ave, paNa pratikramaNa eTale ApaNe to e zuM karavA mAMgIe chIe ? ke viSayane uDADI devA mAMgIe chIe ane pelA to lAlacane mATe yAda kare. bannenA bhAvamAM phera che. peluM yAda Ave che, te lAlacathI yAda Ave che ane A to pratikramaNathI yAda Ave che. pratikramaNa karavA pAchaLa choDavAno bhAva che, jyAre pelo lAlacano bhAva che. eTale beunA bhAvamAM phera che. "bhava teno lava pachI rahe, tattva vacana e bhAI' zrImad rAjacaMdra 'lava pachI' eTale bhava thoDA rahe pachI, bhava ochA thaI jAya. e tattva vacana che, tattvano sAra che. "suMdara ziyaLa surataru, mana-vANI ne deha, je nara-nArI sevaze, anupama phaLa le teha" - zrImad rAjacaMdra ziyaLa eTale zIlavAna. mana-vacana-kAyAthI zIlavAnapaNuM rAkhe, te anupama phaLa le. praznakartA : zIlavAna kone kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : viSayano vicAra nA Ave. jene krodha-mAna-mAyA-lobha nA thAya, ene zIlavAna kahevAya. ekalo A strIno viSaya ja nahIM, paNa krodha-mAna-mAyA-lobha paNa potAne vaza thayA hoya eTale e zIlavAna kahevAya. je krodha-mAna-mAyA-lobha potAne duHkha de, bIjAne duHkha nA de, e 'kaMTrolebala' kahevAya. tyAMthI bhagavAne ene 'zIla' kahyuM. praznakartA : eTale mana-vacana-kAyAthI koI paNa jIvamAtrane kiMcitmAtra paNa duHkha na devuM e je bhAva che, e zIlavAna ? dAdAzrI : e to bhAva che ja. e to ahiMsaka bhAva kahevAya che. e vastu judI che ane A to strIsaMbaMdhI viSaya jItyo, e badhuM jItyo. praznakartA : meM brahmacarya vrata lIdhA pachI eka mahino kRpALudevanuM Page #64 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 30 A pada 'nirakhIne navayauvanA' gAyuM hatuM. dAdAzrI : A pada je gAyane temanuM cokhkhuM thaI jAya. A pada to tamAre roja gAvuM joIe, babbe vakhata gAvuM joIe. eka viSaya jIte to AkhuM jagata jItI gayo, basa ! bhalene pachI game te khAva ke pIvo, emAM kazuM naDavAnuM nathI. paNa A jeNe jItyuM, te AkhuM jagata jItI gayo. A ekaluM ja, mANasa ahIM ja phasAya che. viSaya jItyo eTale duniyAno rAjAne ! karmo ja baMdhAya nahIMne ! emAMthI to naryA karyo, bhayaMkara karyo baMdhAya. eka ja pherAno viSaya e keTalAM jIvo khalAsa karI nAMkhe. e badhA jIvonuM RNAnubaMdha baMdhAya. eTale ATalo eka viSaya jItI jAya to bahu thaI gayuM. na chUTakAtI pAzavatA !!! praznakartA : pAchuM Ape kahyuM che ke paraNavAnuM satyugamAM hatuM. kaLIyugamAM to che ja nahIM paraNavA jevuM. dAdAzrI : bAkI, temAM paraNavA jevuM che ja zuM ? A to aNasamajaNa hoya to paiNe, nahIM to paiNe ja nahIM. praznakartA : meM eka joyuM ke lokone A mArga joIe che brahmacaryano. paNa maLato nathI. dAdAzrI : hA, maLato nathI. uparI hovo joIe ne, vacanabaLavALA joIe. pote potAnAM ekalAthI pALI nA zakAya. e to ApaNuM A vacanabaLa ne ApaNuM A mArgadarzakapaNuM, tene lIdhe pALI zake ane A pALyuM eTale rAjA, AkhI duniyAno rAjA ! praznakartA : kAraNa ke loko paraNatI vakhate bole che ke have huM gayo. paNa bicArAne bIjo mArga nathI. dAdAzrI : pAzavatA gamatI nathI, paNa te zuM kare ? tyAM na chUTake pAzavatAnuM che A badhuM. viSaya e to ughADI pAzavatA che. chUTako nahIMne ? ATalu jItI gayA eTale basa thaI gayuM. eTale roja samajathI prApta brahmacarya 31 manamAM ema nakkI karavuM ke, eka ja phero A jItavuM che, bIjuM kazuM nahIM. ane jItAya evuM che atyAre. A dAdAnA hAtha nIce badhAM mANasone jItAMya evuM che. kasoTInA koIvAra prasaMga Ave to, ene mATe upavAsa karI nAkhavA be-traNa. jyAre karmo bahu jora kare ne tyAre upavAsa karyA ke baMdha thaI jAya. pelA upavAsa karAve to e lAkaDI jevo thaI jAya. e upavAsathI marI nA jAya. praznakartA : eTale upavAsa kare eTale pelA phorsIsa badhAM ochA thaI jAya ? dAdAzrI : badhA baMdha thaI jAya. A badho khorAkano ja phorsa che ane bIjA gunAo calAvI levAya. A guno ekalo nahIM calAvAya evo. A to anaMta avatAranuM khalAsa karI nAkhe. dhULadhANI. eTale ATaluM jItyo to bahu thayuM. brahmacaryanuM baLa hoya to e pachI viSayanI gAMTha baMdha thaI jAya che. eTale baLa evuM rAkhe ke A vicAra Ave ne dhoI nAkhavAM, kacaDI nAkhavAM. praznakartA : e vicAra to mane brahmacaryanA ja Ave che. dAdAzrI : nA. te ja kahuM chuM eTale brahmacaryanA ja Ave che ? nahIM ! praznakartA : hA, hI. dAdAzrI : pelA vicAra nathI AvatA !! praznakartA : peluM to mane eTaluM gaMduM lAge che. dAdAzrI : bahu sAruM. praznakartA : ane mane eka samajAI gayuM ke A je janma thayo che, e A viSayanI gAMTha kADhavA mATe ja thayo che ? bIjuM badhuM taiyAra ja che mAruM ! dAdAzrI : to to bahu sAruM, to to DAhyo. mAre gamatI vAta AvI have. basa, basa, mane gamI vAta. have olarAITa. e bahu saMtoSa thayo mane. ////////// Page #65 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brAhmacarya 33 grIna kalaranuM lohI che ne ApaNuM lohI lAla che. pAMca indriyonA badhA jIvonuM lAla kalaranuM lohI che. lAla lohImAM jAta jAtanAM ghaTa pramANa hoya. hADakAMne tuM koI dahADo aDato nathIne ? praznakartA : ko'ka dahADo bhUlamAM aDI javAya. dAdAzrI : khAvAnI joDe mAMsa mUkyuM hoya to khAvAnuM tane bhAve ke nA bhAve ? praznakartA : nA bhAve. [2] draSTi ukhaDe, "thI vijhate' ! 'rezamI cAdara' pAchaLa.... dAdAzrI : Ama lohInI mahIM badhA mAMsanA TukaDA paDyA hoya to te tamane jovAnA game kharA ke ? praznakartA : nA. dAdAzrI : ane IDalI jovAnuM game ? praznakartA : hA, game. dAdAzrI : kothamIra ane lIlAM maracAMnI caTaNI kare, te jovAnuM game ke peluM mAMsa jovAnuM game ? praznakartA : caTaNI game. dAdAzrI : paNa e mAMsa DhAMkeluM hoya to ? praznakartA : to bhUlamAM khavAI paNa javAya. dAdAzrI : A dehane DhAMkelI cAdara che ne peluM ughADuM mAMsa che. praznakartA : e ughADuM to dekhAya, paNa A DhAMkeluM hoya to nA dekhAya. dAdAzrI : hamaNAM cAdara ughADIe to ? praznakartA : mAMsa ne badhuM dekhAya to cItarI caDhe. dAdAzrI : ane dekhAya nahIM to ? praznakartA : to pachI khabara nA paDe. dAdAzrI : e AMkha kevI te ApaNI, ke che chatAM nathI dekhAtuM ? ApaNe jANIe ke A cAdarathI bAMdheluM che, to ya paNa e kema nathI dekhAtuM ? Ama buddhi to kahe ke che mahIM, to ya nA dekhAya, to e AMkha kevI ? A cAdara che tene lIdhe A badhuM rUpALuM lAge che. cAdara khasI jAya to kevuM lAge ? praznakartA : lohI-mAMsa jevuM. dAdAzrI : to tyAM cItarI nA caDhe ? praznakartA : caDhe. dAdAzrI : caTaNI lIlA lohInI banelI che ane A lAla lohInI. A to khAlI rAga-dveSa karyA kare che. AnI upara rAga kare che ne mAMsa upara dveSa kare che ! caTaNI kayA lohInI banelI che ? sthAvara ekendriyanuM Page #66 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : koIne ahIM dAjhayo hoya tyAM paru nIkaLatuM hoya, to tyAM ApaNane hAtha pheravavAnuM game ? praznakartA : nA game. dAdAzrI : A zI rIte viSaya Ubho rahyo che, te ja samajAtuM nathI. e ughADI AMkhe UMghe che, tyAM UMghatAne zuM kare ? loko to 'dehanI mahIM zuM che? te nathI jANatA. A havAI tuM lAvyo hoya to tane khabara paDe ne, ke AmAM dArU bharelo che ? praznakartA : hA. dAdAzrI : to AmAM kema khabara nathI rahetI ? havAInuM to lakSa rahyA ja kare ke A dArU bharelo che, A phUTI nathI, hajI phUTavAnI bAkI che ne A phuTI gayelI che, evI khabara paDe chene ? ane A jIvatAM manuSyomAM zuM dArU bharelo che, tenI kema khabara nathI paDatI ? emAM zuM zuM dArU bharyo che ? praznakartA : hADakAM, lohI, mAMsa. dAdAzrI : hADakAM mahIM kharAM ke ? te zI rIte joyelAM ? praznakartA : joyAM nathI, paNa buddhithI khabara paDene ? dAdAzrI : buddhi to parAvalaMbI che, svAvalaMbI nathI. bIjI jagyAe joyuM hoya tenA parathI khabara paDe ke mANasane AvuM hoya che, te mArAmAM haze. buddhi parAvalaMbI che ane jJAna parAvalaMbI nathI. jJAna sIdhuM dekhe. gaMdavADo lAge tevuM bIjuM kazuM haze zarIramAM? praznakartA : duSTatA hoya. dAdAzrI : duSTatA to jANe ThIka che, e prAkRta guNa kahevAya; paNa AmAM mAla zuM zuM che ? praznakartA : bIjuM khabara nathI. samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : khAvAnuM tuM zuM zuM khAya che ? praznakartA : dALa, bhAta, roTalI, zAka. dAdAzrI : pachI e galana thAya che, tyAre zuM thAya che ? praznakartA: maLa thaI jAya. dAdAzrI : evuM zAthI thAya che ? ApaNe je khorAka khAIe ne temAMthI badho sAra sAra kheMcAI jAya ane lohI ne e badhuM bane ne zarIra jIvatuM rahe ane je asAra rahe te nIkaLI jAya. A to badhI mazInarI che. lohI cAlu rahe eTale AMkho cAlu rahe, mahIM vAyara badhA cAlu ja che. khorAka nAkhIe to ilekTrisiTI cAlu thAya. ilekTrisiTIthI zvAsocchavAsa cAle. hamaNAM eka poTalImAM hADakAM ne mAMsa suMvALI cAdaramAM bAMdhyA, pachI ahIM ene lAvIne mUkI hoya to tane te lakSamAM to rahe ne, ke AmAM A bhareluM che ? praznakartA : rahI zake ne ! dAdAzrI : tyAre sAruM, A jene lakSamAM rahe, tene moTA adhipati kahyA che, e jAgRta kahevAya. jAgRta hoya te A saMsAramAM kharaDAya nahIM ane jAgRta ja vItarAga thaI zake ! abhUta prayoga, thI vijhatato ! mAro je prayoga karelo hato, e prayoga ja vAparavAno. amAre e prayoga niraMtara goThavAyelo ja hoya, te amane jJAna thatAM pahelAM ya jAgRti rahetI hatI. Ama suMdara kapaDAM paheryA hoya, be hajAranI sADI paherI hoya to ya jotAMnI sAthe ja tarata jAgRti UbhI thAya, te nekeDa dekhAya. pachI bIjI jAgRti utpanna thAya, te cAmaDI vagaranuM dekhAya ane trIjI jAgRti pachI peTa kApI nAkhe to mahIM AMtaraDAM dekhAya, AMtaraDAMmAM zo pheraphAra thAya che e badhuM dekhAya. lohInI naso mahIM dekhAya, saMDAsa dekhAya, Ama badho gaMdavADo Page #67 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya dekhAya. pachI viSaya Ubho thAya ja nahIM ne ! AmAMthI AtmA cokhkhI vastu che, tyAM AgaLa jaIne amArI draSTi aTake, pachI zI rIte moha thAya ? lokone AvuM ArapAra dekhAya nahIM ne? lokone evI draSTi nahIM ne ? evI jAgRti ya kyAMthI lAve ? AvuM dekhAya, e to moTAmAM moTI jAgRti kahevAya. eTa-e-TAIma A traNeya jAgRti hoya. A mane je jAgRti hatI, te tamane kahuM chuM. je rIte huM jItyo chuM, e rIte tamane badhAne, A jItavAno rasto dekhADyo. rasto to hovo joIene ? ane te kaMI jAgRti vagara to koI dahADo ya bane ja nahIM ne ? A to kALa evo vicitra che, pahelAM to lipasTiko ane moDhe pAvaDara, e badhuM kyAM copaDatA hatA ? jyAre atyAre to evuM badhuM UbhuM karyuM che ke UlaTuM kheMcANa kare mANasane, evuM badhuM mohabajAra thaI gayuM che ! pahelAM to zarIra sAruM hoya, dekhAvaDI hoya to ya AvA mohanAM sAdhana nahIM. atyAre to navuM mohabajAra ja chene ? te kadarUpA mANase ya rUpALA dekhAya che, paNa AmAM zuM jovAnuM ? A to naryo gaMdavADo !! eTale mane to bahu jAgRti rahe, jabarajasta jAgRti rahe ! ApaNuM jJAna jAgRtivALuM che, eTa-e-TAIma lAITa karavuM hoya to thAya evuM che !! have jo te ghaDIe AvI jAgRtino upayoga nA kare to mANasa mAryo jAya. ApaNe ghaNuM ya zuddhAtmA jovA jaIe to paNa e draSTi sthira thavA nA de, eTale Avo upayoga joIe. te amane jJAna thatAM pahelAM Avo upayoga goThavAyelo, nahIM to A mohabajAra to mArI ja nAkhe A kALamAM. A to strIone jovAthI ja roga pesI jAyane ! have zuM e paNelA nathI ? paiNelA hoya to ya evA ! kAraNa ke A kALa ja evo che ! A zrI vijhana yAda raheze ke bhUlI jazo ? praznakartA : draDha nizcaya hovA chatAM koI strI tarapha vAraMvAra draSTi kheMcAya che ane zrI vijhana jANavA chatAM "jema che tema dekhAtuM kema nathI ? dAdAzrI : e zrI vijhana jANeluM nathI, zrI vijhana jANe to ene che te draSTi kheMcAya ja nahIM. zrI vijhana dekhAya eTale hAtha ja ghAle nahIM. pachI A to draSTi paDe to uchuM pAchuM joI le. samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : zrI vijhana nathI dekhAtuM, e mohane lIdhe ? dAdAzrI : jANato ja nathI, zrI vijhana zuM che te ja jANato nathI. mohane lIdhe bhAnamAM ja nA Ave ne moha eTale bebhAnapaNuM ! praznakartA : eTale have zrI vijhana dekhAya, eno upAya zuM ? dAdAzrI : e kaMI dekhAvAnuM ja nathI. eno upAya ja kyAM karavAno ? e jene dekhAya, e mANasa ja judI jAtanA hoya, aphalAtuna mANasa hoya. A kALamAM eTalo badho vairAga rahe nahIM mANasane ! eTale A zrI vijhana bahu UMcI vastu che, enAthI pachI vairAga rahe. ame nAnI uMmaramAMthI Avo prayoga karelo. zodhakhoLa karI ke A ja roga che, moTAmAM moTo. pachI A jAgRtithI prayoga karelo, pachI to amane sahaja thaI gayuM. amane ema ne ema badhuM saheje dekhAya. be-cAra vAra gaTaranuM DhAMkaNuM ughADavAnuM hoya, pachI khabara nA paDe ke mahIM zuM che te ? pachI evI gaTara Ave to khabara nA paDe ? vakhate be-cAra vAra bhUla thaI jAya, paNa pachI to ApaNane khabara rahene ? praznakartA : eTale A prayoga kanTInyuasa rAkhavAno zrI vijhanano? dAdAzrI : nA, e ema ja che ! A to lUgaDAM DhAMkIne phare eTale rUpALuM dekhAya, bAkI mahIM evuM ja che. A to mAMsane rezamI cAdarathI bAMdhyuM che, eTale moha thAya che. mAMsa ekaluM hoya to ya vAMdho nahIM, paNa A to mahIM AMtaraDAM badhuM kApe to zuM nIkaLe mahIMthI ? eTale enI para vicAra ja nathI karyo. e jo vicAra karyo hoya, to to tyAM draSTi pharI jAya ja nahIM. A to bhrAMtithI mUrkhAImAM mANase sukha kalpeluM che. badhAe kahyuM eTale ANe ya kayuM, evuM cAlyuM che ! sIttera-eMsI varSanI strIo joDe tuM paNuM kharo ? kema nahIM ? paNa enA aMga badhuM sAruM dekhAya ke nahIM ? e jovAnuM mana ja nA thAya ne ? praznakartA: evo koI rasto nathI, zorTakaTa nathI ke zrI vijhana pahelAM Page #68 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya jAgRti utpanna thAya che. nahIM to jAgRtino bIjo upAya ja nathI. A bahAranA loko brahmacarya pALe ja che ne ?! paNa emAM jAgRti nathI hotI. - brahmacarya A jAgRtinA AdhAre che ne ? jAgRti 'Dima" thavAthI ja A moha utpanna thAya che ne ! nahIM to AmAM hADa, paruM ne mAMsa nathI bhareluM ? praznakartA : eTale A viSayanI bAbatamAM kapaDAne lIdhe moha utpanna thAya che ne ? Ama A draSTi paDe, te pahelAM kapaDAM para paDe che, eTale tyAMthI moha utpanna thAya chene ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya ja ArapAra cokhkhuM dekhAya ? dAdAzrI : A ja zorTakaTa ! moTAmAM moTo zorTakaTa ja A ne ! A zrI vijhanathI abhyAsa karato karato AgaLa jAya eTale "jema che tema' ene dekhAya, pachI viSaya chUTI jAya. zrI vijhana sivAyano rasto UMdhe raste cAlavAno zorTa rasto kahevAya, nahIM to paiNavuM hoya to koNe nA pADI che ? nirAMte paiNo ne ! koNe bAMdhyA che tamane ?! amane ArapAra badhuM dekhAya. A jJAna evuM che ke jyAre tyAre tamane AvI draSTi karAvaze. kAraNa ke jJAnanA ApanArAnI draSTi AvI che, mArI AvI draSTi che. eTale jJAnanA ApanArAnI jevI draSTi hoya tevI draSTi thAya. jene ArapAra dekhAyA kare, tene kemano moha thAya che ? kharuM brahmacarya, jAgRtipUrvakanuM ! praznakartA : strI-puruSano bheda bhUlavo paDaze ne ? dAdAzrI : bheda bhUlavAno nathI. bheda to ApaNane mUrchAne laIne lAge che ane ema bhUlavAthI e bhUlAya evo che nahIM. eNe jAgavuM paDaze, evI jAgRti joIze. A jJAna prApta thayuM eTale "AtmadraSTi' thayo ne, eTale have jAgRti vadhaze ne tema tema e ya ArapAra joto thaze. ArapAra joto thayo ke enI meLe ja vairAga Ave. joyuM eTale vairAga Ave ja che ane to ja vItarAga thaI zakAya, nahIM to vItarAga thaI zakAtuM haze ? ane kharekhara ekjhakTa ema ja che. "phUla' jAgRti thAya, tyAre e jAgRti ja kevaLajJAnamAM pariNAma pAme che. praznakartA : brahmacarya pALavuM che evo nizcaya thAya che ne, tyArathI ja jAgRti vadhI jAya che. dAdAzrI : nA, jAgRti e to, ApaNe "jJAna" ApIe chIe tyAre dAdAzrI : mULa to pote viSayI che, tethI kapaDAM vadhAre moha kare che. pote viSayI nA hoya to kapaDuM kazuM moha nA kare. A ahIM sArAM sArAM kapaDAM pAtharIe to moha Ubho thAya ? eTale potAne viSayanI majhA-AnaMda che, enI IcchA che, tethI pelo moha utpanna thAya che. viSayanI IcchA vagaranA mANasone zI rIte moha utpanna thAya ? A moha koNa Ubho kare che ? pAchalAM pariNAma moha UbhA kare che. te ene ApaNe dhoI nAkhIe. bAkI kapaDAM bicArA zuM kare ? pahelAMnuM bIja nAkheluM che, tenuM A pariNAma AvyuM. paNa e badhA upara moha nA thAya. hisAba hoya tyAM ja moha thAya. bIje mohanAM navAM bIja paDe kharAM, paNa moha nA thAya. A to kapaDAMne lIdhe moha utpanna thAya che, nahIM to kapaDA kADhI nAkhe to ghaNo kharo moha ocho thaI jAya. phakta ApaNI UMcI nAtomAM ja moha ocho thaI jAya. A to bicArAnA kapaDAne lIdhe bhrAMti rahe che ane kapaDAM vagaranuM jue to ema ne ema vairAga AvI jAya. tethI A digaMbarIonI zodhakhoLa che ne?! upayoga jAgRtithI, TaLe moha pariNAma ! zrImad rAjacaMdre kahyuM che ke, 'dekhata bhUlI TaLe to sarva duHkhano kSaya thAya." zAstromAM vAMcIe chIe ke strI para rAga nA karavo ane pAchA strIne joIe chIe ne bhUlI javAya che, tene 'dekhata bhUlI" kahevAya. meM to tamane evuM jJAna ApyuM che ke have tamane 'dekhata bhUlI' ya rahI nahIM, Page #69 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya samajathI prApta brahmacarya tamane zuddhAtmA dekhAya. bahAranuM pekiMga game tevuM hoya to ya pekiMga joDe ApaNane zI levA devA ? pekiMga to saDI javAnuM che, baLI javAnuM che, pekiMgamAM zuM kADhavAnuM che ? eTalA mATe jJAna ApeluM che ke ApaNe zuddhAtmA juo, eTale 'dekhata bhUlI TaLe' ! 'dekhata bhUlI TaLe" eTale zuM ke A mithyA draSTi che, e draSTi phare ane samyaka draSTi thAya to badhAM du:khono kSaya thAya ! pachI e bhUla nA thavA de, draSTi kheMcAya nahIM. kRpALudeve to keTaluM badhuM kahyuM che, chatAM ya kahe che ke "dekhata bhUlI thAya che, dekhIe chIe ne bhUla thAya che. "dekhata bhUlI TaLe" to sarva du:khono kSaya thAya. te dekhata bhUlI TALavAno meM A mArga Apyo ke A bena jAya che, tenI mahIM tuM zuddhAtmA joje. zuddhAtmA tane dekhAya to pachI bIjuM jovAnuM nA hoya. bIjo to kATa caDhelo kahevAya. koIne lAla kATa hoya, koIne pILo kATa hoya, koIne lIlo kATa hoya, paNa ApaNe to lokhaMDa ekaluM ja jovAnuM ne ?! ane kATa dekhAya tenI sAme upAya ApI dIdho che. saMjogavazAt phasAyo eno vAMdho nathI, paNa icchApUrvakanuM nA hovuM joIe. saMjogavazAt to jJAnI paNa phasAya. khabara paDe ke ahIM AgaLa A bhUla khAdhI, ahIM mArI draSTi bagaDI hatI. tyAM pAchuM pote AlocanA-pratikramaNa-pratyAkhAna karIne paNa dhoI nAkhe. paNa jene A jJAna nA maLyuM hoya, te zuM kare bicAro ? tene to bhayaMkara khoTI vastune kharI mAnIne cAlavuM paDe che. A ajAyabI che ne ! A to jJAna maLyuM che ene vAMdho nahIM, e to draSTi bagaDe ke tarata dhoI nAkhe. jo tamAre zuddha upayoga che, to sAmAno game te bhAva hoya to ya tamane nA aDe ! praznakartA : eka strIne joIne koI puruSane kharAba bhAva thAya, emAM strIno doSa kharo ? dAdAzrI : nA, emAM strIno kaMI doSa nahIM ! bhagavAna mahAvIranuM lAvaNya joIne ghaNI strIone moha utpanna thato hato, paNa tethI bhagavAnane kazuM nA aDe ! eTale jJAna zuM kahe che ke tamArI kriyA sahetuka hovI joIe. tamAre evA paTiyAM nA pADavAM joIe ke evAM kapaDAM paNa nA paheravAM joIe ke jethI sAmAne moha utpanna thAya. ApaNo bhAva cokhkho hoya to kaMI bagaDe tema nathI. bhagavAna zA hAruM kezanuM locana karatA hatA ? ke mArI upara koI strIno A vALane laIne bhAva bagaDe to ? mATe A vALa ja kADhI nAkho eTale bhAva ja nA bagaDe. kAraNa ke bhagavAna to bahu rUpALA hoya, mahAvIra bhagavAnanuM rUpa, AkhA varlDamAM suMdara ! devo paNa bahu rUpALA hoya, paNa te vakhate rUpanuM rUpa to bhagavAna mahAvIra hatA ! eTale emanI upara koI strI mohI nA paDe, eTale emaNe jAgRti rAkhavI paDe. chatAM koI mohI paDe to e mATe pote jokhamadAra nathI, kAraNa ke evI potAnI icchA nathI ne ! moha rAjAno aMtima bRha... mohabajAra cauda varSe zarU thAya ne cAlIza varSa pachI pUruM thAya, tyAre e jhADa sUkAya ! A to jAta jAtanA moha ! nahIM to hindustAnanA eka eka manuSyamAM zaktio to evI che ke kAma kADhI nAkhe ! praznakartA: vadhumAM vadhu zakti kyAM kharcAya ? zaktio vadhAre kyAM A viSaya to avicAra karIne che. jema vicAre karIne khoTa-napho ApaNane mAlama paDe che ke nathI paDato ? ane vicAra nA AvatA hoya, tene khoTa-napho nA mAlama paDe ne ? evuM vicAra karanAra hoya to A viSaya to Ubho ja nA rahe, paNa A kALacakra evuM che ke baLatarAmAM ene hitAhitanuM bhAna ja nathI rahyuM ke potAnuM hita zemAM ane potAnuM ahita zemAM ? bIjuM, A viSayanA svarUpane samajaNapUrvaka bahu vicArI nAkhyuM hoya to ya paNa atyAre je viSaya Ubho che, e AgaLanA avicAronuM kAraNa che. tethI 'dekhata bhUlI' TaLe nahIM ne ! ApaNane viSayano vicAra nA Avyo hoya paNa koI jagyAe evuM dekhavAmAM AvyuM hoya, to paNa tarata ja bhUla khAI jAya. dekhe ne bhUle, evuM bane ke nA bane ? 'dekhata bhUlI'no artha zo ? ke mithyAdarzana ! paNa bIjuM badhuM 'dekhata bhUlI' thAya teno vAMdho nahIM, paNa A viSayasaMbaMdhImAM, cAritra saMbaMdhImAM 'dekhata bhUlI'no upAya zo ? ApaNane jJAna maLyuM hoya to potAne bhUla Page #70 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 82 samajathI prApta brahmacarya veDaphAI jAya che ? dAdAzrI : A mohamAM ja, moha ane ajAgRtimAM. bAkI jeTalo moha ocho eTalI zakti vadhAre. moharAjAe chello pAsa nAkhyo che. atyAre viSayano ja moha badhe vyApI gayo che. pahelAM to mAnano moha, kIrtino moha, lakSmIno moha, moha badhe ja verAyelo hato. Aje badho moha ekalA viSayamAM ja vyApI gayo che ne bhayaMkara baLatarAmAM ja jIvana jIvI rahyAM che. A ekalA sAdhumahArAjo viSayathI chUTA paDyA che, tethI temane kaMIka zAMti che. jJAnazakti jabarajasta hoya ane viSaya to vicAramAM ya nA Ave, to te nA paraNe, paNa jyAM sudhI rUpa para moha che tyAM sudhI paraNI levuM. paraNavuM e pharaz2yiAta che ne paraNavuM e bahu jokhama che ne jokhamamAM UtaryA vagara pAra Ave tema paNa nathI. moha che, teNe paraNavuM ja joIe. nahIM to haraiyA Dhora thaI jAya. ko'kanA khetaramAM peTho ke mAryo jAya ne bhayaMkara adhogati noMtare ! paraNe eTale zuM ke hakkanuM bhogave; ne peluM to aNahakkano vicAra Ave to adhogatie jAya ! zarIra para rAga ja kema thavo joIe ? zarIra zenuM baneluM che ? praznakartA : pudgalanuM. dAdAzrI : hA, pudgala kharuM, paNa kevuM pudgala ? ekaluM jo sonAnuM baneluM hoya to gaMdhAya nahIM, hAtha bagaDe nahIM, kazuM ya nahIM, paNa A to sArI cAdarathI poTaluM bAMdheluM che, eTale keTalI badhI phasAmaNa thaI che ! enuM nAma ja moha ne ! je che te dekhAtuM nathI, nathI te dekhAya che ! nirmohI koNa ? jJAnI puruSa, ke emane je che e ja dekhAya ! ArapAra mahIM, hADakAM-bADakAM, AMtaraDAM-bAMtaraDAM badhuM ja dekhAya, ema ne ema sahaja svabhAve badhuM dekhAya. praznakartA : e jAtanI draSTi hoya, to pachI AkarSaNa rahe ja nahIM dAdAzrI : A saMDAsa joIe chIe, tyAM AkarSaNa thAya che ? ne ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya 83 dekhIe ne mUrchita thAya, e gayA avatArano moha chapAI gayo che, tethI. A cAmaDIthI DhAMkeluM mAMsa ja che, paNa evuM rahe nahIM ne ! jene mUrchA nA hoya, ene e jAgRti rahe. je che te dekhAvuM, enuM nAma jAgRti ! phakta zuddhAtmAnAM darzana karavA jevuM che, bIjuM badhuM to rezamI cAdare vIdyuM mAMsa ja che ! amArI AjJA pALazo to tamAro moha jaze. mohane tame jAte kADhavA jazo to e tamane kADhI mUke evo che ! mATe emane kADhI mUkavA karatAM emane kahIe, 'beso sAheba, ame tamArI pUjA karIe!' pachI judA thaIne ApaNe tenA para upayoga dIdho ne dAdAnI AjJAmAM AvyA ke mohane tarata enI meLe javuM ja paDaze. pachI moha ja kaheze ke, 'apanA to idhara kucha calegA nahIM, idhara dAdAkA sAmrAjya ho gayA hai, aba apanA kucha nahIM calegA !' te moha badhA bIstarA-poTalAM laIne jato raheze. bAkI bIjI koI rIte mohane koI kADhI zakelo nahIM. e to moharAjA kahevAya ! viSayatI 'chUpI ruci' to nathI ne ?! viSayanuM virecana karanAra davA varlDamAM koI hoya nahIM. ApaNuM jJAna evuM che ke viSayanuM virecana thAya. mahIM vicAra Ave ke e avasthA UbhI thaI, ke tarata ja enI AhUti apAI jAya. A viSaya eka ja evo che ke naryA kapaTanuM ja saMgrahasthAna che ne ! jemAM anaMtA doSa bese che ane keTalAya avatAra bagADI nAkhe che ! viSaya hoya te kaMI ekadama jatA nA rahe. paNa eno kaMTALo Ave ne enuM pratikramaNa kara kara kare to ukela Ave. pratikramaNa konuM nAma kahevAya ke DAgha paDyo ke tarata dhoI nAkhavuM, ene pratikramaNa kahevAya. A DAghane kema dhUo cho ? kAraNa e kramaNa nathI, A atikramaNa che. mATe enuM pratikramaNa karo ane e 'zUTa ona sAITa' joIe. akrama vijJAnanuM pratikramaNa 'zUTa ona sAITa' che. nahIM to A lapharAM chUTe ja nahIMne ?! ekAvatArI thavuM che, paNa A lapharAM kyAre chUTI rahe ! 'zUTa ona sAITa' pratikramaNathI chUTAya. viSayanuM pratikramaNa ravivAre Akho dahADo cAlu rAkhyuM hoya, eTale Page #71 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 4 samajathI prApta brahmacarya pachI cha dahADA sudhI viSayanI vAta UbhI thAya, te pahelAM pratikramaNa ene pharI vaLe. mahIM viSaya to UbhA thavAnA, paNa ApaNe pratikramaNanuM evuM jora rAkho ke pratikramaNanA badhA polIso ene pharI vaLe. praznakartA : jema jema ApaNe pratikramaNa karIe, tema tema viSaya ocho thavAno ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, pratikramaNa karIe eTale ochuM thatuM jAya. pratikramaNa kare che kharo, paNa aMdarakhAne viSayanI ruci rahyA kare che. te potAne khabara paDatI nathI. e ruci bilakule ya rahevI nA joIe. aruci utpanna thavI joIe. aruci eTale tiraskAra nahIM, paNa AmAM kazuM che ja nahIM evuM thavuM joIe. praznakartA : ruci mahIM rahelI che, e khabara kema paDatI nathI ? dAdAzrI : e khabara nA paDe eTaluM jADuM khAtuM che. praznakartA : paNa Ama to evuM lAge che ke ApaNe A viSaya to bhogavavo ja nathI. dAdAzrI : e to evuM lAge kharuM, paNa e badhuM zabdothI che. haju mahIM je ruci che, e gaI nathI. siMcanuM bIja aMdara hoya che, te dhIme dhIme tane samajAze. je Devalapa thayelo mANasa hoya, tene samajAI jAya. praznakartA : kSatriyane viSaya sAme kSatriyapaNuM nA AvI jAya ? dAdAzrI : Ave ne ! paNa viSayamAM kSatriyapaNuM Ave evuM nathI. kSatriyapaNuM hota, to to ene kApI nAkhavAnuM kaheta, paNa A viSaya e samajaNano viSaya(sabajekTa) che. eTale bahu vicAre karIne viSayo jAya. eTalA mATe viSayathI chUTavA mATe meM A traNa vijhana batADyA che ne ? pachI ene rAga thAya nahIM ne ! nahIM to strIe Ama sArA ghareNAM ne sArAM kapaDAM paheryAM hoya to badhuM bhUlI jAya ne moha utpanna thaI jAya. praznakartA : haju to viSayamAM ruci aMdara hoya, chatAM khabara nathI samajathI prApta brahmacarya paDatI ke ruci che ke nahIM. 5 dAdAzrI : eTaluM jANyuM to ya sAruM tAre. praznakartA : viSayomAM je InTaresTa Ubho thAya che e ruci paDI, enA AdhAre Ubho thAya che ? dAdAzrI : hA. ruci nA hoya to kazuM nahIM. aruci upara viSaya Ubho kema thAya ? aruci upara viSaya kema Ubho thAya ? koI strI hAthe dAjhI gaI hoya, roja AkhA zarIre puruSa aDato hoya, paNa hAthe dAjhI gayeluM hoya ne pachI phollAM paDe ane pachI paruM nIkaLatuM hoya, e ghaDIe pelI strI kahe ke 'ahIMyA A jarA dhoI Alo.' to zuM kahe ? praznakartA : nA pADe. dAdAzrI : have e ruci hatI, te tyAM AvuM joIne aruci thaI jAyane ! pachI pharI ruci utpanna nA thAya. paNa sTebIlAIjha rahevuM joIe. A to Ama pAchAM sAjA thaI jAya to, tyAre hatA tevAM ne tevAM thaI jAya, evuM nahIM. sTebIlAIjha thaI javuM joIe. praznakartA : sTebIlAIjha kevI rIte thAya ? dAdAzrI : e to A ahIM AgaLa che te, A roDa upara jaIne pUchI Avaje ne ! e loko kare che evI rIte tuM ya karaje. A kAMkarA-meTala nAMkhIne tyAM rolara pherave che, e sTebIlAIjha thaI jAya evuM joI le. praznakartA : paNa kayuM rolara pheravavuM paNa ? dAdAzrI : to pelA rolarathI ApaNe pastAvo karI karIne, doSane kADhavAnA. praznakartA : A jJAna lIdhA pachI potAno nizcaya che, dhyeya che, tema chatAM paNa je ruci rahelI che, e rucine toDavA mATe, ene chedavA mATe zuM hovuM joIe ? Page #72 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 86 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : ekkekTa pratikramaNa kare to thAya. aruci jovAnAM bIjAM badhA sAdhano tenI mahIM Ave aruci jovAnAM, e badhuM helpa karyA kare. praznakartA: strI parano moha ne rAga jAya, tyAre ruci khalAsa thavA mAMDe ? dAdAzrI : sacinI gAMTha to anaMta avatAranI paDelI che, kyAre phUTI nIkaLe e kahevAya nahIM. eTale A saMgamAM ja rahevuM. A saMganI bahAra gayA ke pharI e sacinA AdhAre badhuM phUTI nIkaLe pAchuM. eTale A brahmacArIonAM saMgamAM ja rahevuM paDe. haju A ruci gaI nathI, eTale bIjA kusaMgamAM paiso ke peluM tarata cAlu thaI jAya. kAraNa ke kusaMgano badho svabhAva ja evo che. praznakartA : pratikramaNa karIe to ya ? dAdAzrI : tyAM tuM lAkha pratikramaNa karuM, to ya kusaMga haze to badhuM avaLuM thaze ! praznakartA : paNa e kusaMga to ApaNane joIto nathI. enI to ApaNane icchA ja nathI to ya ? dAdAzrI : kusaMga to ApaNane joIto nathI, paNa koI vakhata evo saMjoga AvI jAya ne ? satsaMga chuTI gayo ne kusaMgamAM AvI gayo, to ruci aMdara paDelI che eTale kusaMga pharI vaLe. paNa jene ruci uDI gayelI hoya to kusaMga nA aDe pachI. ruci uDI gayelI hoya eTale ene rucinuM bIja nathI, pachI saMjoga bhegA thAya to ya bIja Uge ja nahIM ne ! [3] draDha nizcaya, pahoMcADe pAra ! na Dage kadi, te nizcaya ! eka bhAI mane kahe ke "ghaNI ya icchA nathI to ya viSayanA vicAro Ave che, to mAre zuM karavuM ?" A sivAya bIjuM karyuM ja nathI ne ! anaMta avatAra Ane A ja sevana karyuM, enAM ja ene paDaghA paDyA kare che ! jJAnIo maLe to ene choDAvaDAve, nahIM to koI choDAve nahIM. zI rIte choDAve ? koNa choDAve ? chUTelo hoya te ja choDAve ane viSayamAMthI chUTyo to mukta thayo jANavuM ! A ekalA viSayamAMthI ja chUTyo ke kAma thaI gayuM. jene chuTavAnI icchA che, ene sAdhana jyAre tyAre maLI Ave che. sTroMga icchAvALAne jaldI maLI Ave ne maMda icchAvALAne moDuM maLI Ave, paNa icchA sAcI che to maLI ja Ave. lagnanI icchAvALAne lagna thayA vagara rahe che ? evuM A ya icchA sTroMga hovI joIe. nizcaya konuM nAma kahevAya ? ke game tevuM lazkara caDhI Ave to ke ApaNe tene gAMThIe nahIM ! mahIM game evA samajAvanArA maLe to ya ApaNe tene gAMThIe nahIM ! nizcaya karyo, pachI e phare nahIM, enuM nAma nizcaya kahevAya. Page #73 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 88 samajathI prApta brahmacarya nizcaya ja karavAno che, bIjuM kazuM ja nathI karavAnuM. loko bhAva to samajatA ja nathI ke bhAva zAne kahevAya ? bhAva AvyA pachI to abhAva Ave, paNa A to nizcaya ke amAre Ama to nahIM ja ! nizcaya e puruSArtha che ! tame jeTalAM nizcaya karelAM ne, A roja satsaMgamAM zAthI avAya che ? nizcaya karyo che, "javuM che', eTale javAya ja ! yAra vagara rUpakamAM Ave nahIM ne ! A pUrvanA tamArA nizcaya opana thayA che. A anizcayane lIdhe to badhAM du:kha che. ye bhI cAlaze ne vo bhI cAlaze, to tene tevuM maLe. A to ame bahu jhINI vAta karavA mAMgIe chIe. jeTalAM nizcaya karyA che, eTalAM phaLa maLaze. juone, nokarInA nizcaya karyA, vepAranA nizcaya karyA, Ama rahevuM che tevAM nizcaya karyA, gharamAM nathI rahevuM tenAM nizcaya karyA, gharamAM pAchuM rahevuM che evAM nizcaya karyA ne te pramANe phaLa maLyAM. A ja jovAnuM che, ke A philma kevI cAle che 'satsaMga karavo che, jagata kalyANane mATe prayatna karavo che.' evo nizcaya karelo, te amAre Aje bAvIsa varSathI cAlyo ane A to haju rahevAno che ! Aje ApaNe je nakkI karyuM e TheTha sudhI rahe, enuM nAma nizcaya kahevAya !! to pachI eno sAMdho AgaLa maLI jAya pAcho. ahIMthI nanAmI kADhatAM pahelAM nizcaya pheravI nAkhyo to pachI AgaLa nizcaya kyAMthI maLe ? AgaLa ene TAIme nizcaya maLe kharo, paNa te ekadhAro nahIM, pisIsavALo maLe. moTA jyotiSe kahyuM hoya ke kaDhI DhoLAI javAnI che, to ya ApaNe prayatna karavo. kAraNa ke TAImIMga badalAI jAya to enuM jyotiSa khoTuM paDI jAya ne divasamAM to TAImIMga badalAyA ja karavAnA ! evAM evAM saMjogo UbhA thAya, te TAImIMga badalAI jAya. ApaNI bhAvanA eTalI badhI majabUta hoya to TAImIMga hau badalAI jAya ! anaMta zaktivALo AtmA che !! praznakartA : nizcaya AgaLa TAImIMga badalAI jAya ? dAdAzrI : nizcaya AgaLa badhAM TAImIMga badalAI jAya. A bhAI kahetA hatA ke 'huM banatAM sudhI tyAM AvIza, paNa vakhate nA avAya to samajathI prApta brahmacarya nIkaLI jajo.' te ame samajI gayA ke AmaNe nizcaya polo karyo che, te AgaLa eviDansa evA maLe ke ApaNuM dhAreluM thAya nahIM. eTale ApaNe nizcaya karavo che evuM nakkI karavuM, paNa koI vakhata pAchuM saMjogo bhUlADI de. have e bhAI jo nizcayathI kaheta ke, 'huM AvuM ja chuM.' to nizcayane AgaLa TAImIMga maLI jAya ane ahIM AvI javAya. eTale nizcaya je karyo che, te AgaLa eviDansa UbhAM kare. ApaNe nizcaya karavo, paNa e ya pAchuM saMjogo bhUlADI de, to pachI jANavuM ke vyavasthita ! A to evI potAnI badhI sattA jo hAthamAM AvI jAya to to tuM vyavasthitane ramADuM ! paNa evI sattA nathI ne ! vaLagI rahe nizcayate TheTha... nizcayazakti e to moTAmAM moTI zakti che, nadI oLaMgavI ke nahIM ? to kahe, oLaMgavI ! oLaMgavI eTale oLaMgavI ne nahIM to nahIM ! pelA viSaya vicAro para pratikramaNanuM jora rAkhavuM ne have sAcave, to mahIM phrekacara thayeluM rAge paDI jAya. 'upAdAna' tAre jAgRta rAkhavAnuM ane ame to 'nimitta', ame AzIrvAda ApIe, vacanabaLa mUkIe, paNa nizcaya sAcavavo e tArA hAthamAM. A jJAna maLyuM che, eTale evuM UMcuM pada maLyuM che ke game tevuM dhAryuM kAma thAya evuM che. bIjI koI jagyAe jokhama nathI. A ekaluM ja jokhama che ne 'A' bAju paga mUkyo ke mukti ! jo tAro nizcaya nA Dage to kAma nIkaLI jAya, eTale rAta-dahADo A eka ja ku TAITa kya karavo. cA pIdhI ke pAchuM TAITa karyA karavuM. kAraNa ke jagatanI vicitratAno pAra nathI. kyAre phasAvI de, e kahevAya nahIM. jarAka kAcuM paDI jAya ne, tyAM brahmacarya khalAsa thaI jAya. saheja jarA sTroMga upara ja jo kadI nizcaya eka phero tUTyo, nizcayane goThavyo nahIM, ane tUTyo eTale A bAju vaLI jAya pachI ! pachI khalAsa thaI jAya. mana A bAju sTeDI rahe che to sAruM che, nahIM to kharAba vicAra Ave to amane kahI deje. to ame upAya batADIe, ke A raste Ama Page #74 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya Ama che, nahIM to mAryo jaIza. upAya haMmezAM hAthamAM hovo joIe. dAdAne kahI daIe eTale mana baMdhAI jAya. vicAra evI vastu che, gAMTha cAra-cha mahinA baMdha hoya ne pachI phUTe eTale vicAra to Ave paNa ApaNe pratikramaNa karI nAkhavuM. viSaya e to pratyakSa mahAduHkha che, naryA apajazanAM ja poTalAM !!! eTale jAgRti to eTalI badhI rahevI joIe ke A karma karatAM pahelAM zuM sthiti, pachI zuM sthiti, e badhuM ekadama dekhAya evuM nirAvaraNa jJAna thayuM hoya, tyAra pachI vAMdho nahIM. samajo nizcayatA svarUpate... praznakartA : ApaNA nizcayane toDAve che koNa ? dAdAzrI : e ApaNo ja ahaMkAra. mohavALo ahaMkAra che ne ! mUrNita ahaMkAra !! jema dArU pIdhelo mANasa mahIM pharato hoya tevo e che, te toDAvI nAkhave che ! praznakartA : evuM hoya to ApaNe zuM karavAnuM ? dAdAzrI : karavAnuM to kazuM hotuM ja nathI ne ! dAdAnI AjJA pALe to AvuM tevuM hoya ja nahIM ne !! 'huM zuddhAtmA chuM' pachI peluM badhuM joyA karavAnuM, AjJA pALe to kazuM che ja nahIM. paNa 'AjJA zuM che', e samajyA ja nathIne haju ? eka samabhAve nikAla kare, te thoDuMghaNuM samajIne kare haju ! pelo dArU pIdhelo pharato hoya, eTale moha halAya halAya ja kare ne ?! aMdara je ahaMkAra che, te mohano dArU pIne Akho dahADo pharyA ja kare che ane jyAM mohavALI vastu dekhe ke tyAM pAcho kheMcAya. praznakartA : tyAM AgaLa nizcaya kAma nA lAge ? dAdAzrI : nizcaya to badhuM ya kAma lAge, paNa pahelethI nizcaya hoya ane dAdAnI AjJAmAM rahyA hoya tyAre kAma lAge. dAdAnI AjJAthI nizcaya majabUta thAya. e nizcaya kAma lAge, bAkI Ama gAMThavALo nizcaya nA cAle. nizcaya kevo hoya ? ke khase nahIM, pharI bolavuM paNa nA paDe samajathI prApta brahmacarya ke meM nizcaya karyo che, A to gAMTha vALe ke Aje A nizcaya karyo, 'have A nathI khAvuM" ne kAle pAcho khAvA bese ! eTale dAdAnI AjJAmAM rahe, tyAra pachI nizcaya majabUta thAya. pachI e nizcaya to badalAya ja nahIM. amArI AjJA pALyA karavI. AjJA sahelI ne sarasa che, rileTiva ne riyala AkhA dahADAmAM eka kalAka jovuM ja paDe ne ! eTale nizcaya majabUta thAya, nizcaya majabUta karanArI 'A' AjJA che. amArI vAtomAMthI sArabhUta khoLI kADhavuM ke AmAM zuM sArabhUta che ? eTaluM vAkya ApaNe pakaDI levuM. badhAM vAkya to khyAlamAM rahe nahIM evo tamAro khorAka che ! praznakartA : nizcaya kevo karavo joIe ? dAdAzrI : ApaNe nizcaya je karyo hoya, te gAma javAya. AtmA anaMta zakti svarUpa che, te zakti pragaTa thaI jAya. AtmA e nizcaya svarUpa che ane tamAro nizcaya mAMge che. Dagamaga Dagamaga nA cAle ! eka ja sTroMga abhiprAya AkhI jiMdagI tyAga karAvaDAve ! abhiprAya saheja kAco hoya to zuM thAya ? emAM karmanA udaya Ave pachI mANasanuM cAle nahIM, pachI slIpa thaI jAya. are, paiNI hau jAya ! e abhiprAya pAko nahIM, eTale zuM ? ke emAM jarA chUTachATa rahevA dIdhelI hoya. nizcayatAM paripoSako ! tamAro saMpUrNa brahmacarya pALavAno nizcaya ane amArI AjJA, e to kAma ja kADhI nAkhaze, paNa jo mahIM saheje nizcaya AghopAcho nA thayo to ! amArI AjJA to, e jyAM jaze tyAM rasto batAvaze ane ApaNe saheja paNa pratijJA nahIM choDavI. viSayano vicAra Avyo to aDadho kalAka sudhI to dho dho karavo ke kema haju vicAra Ave che ! ane AMkha to koInA ya sAme mAMDavI ja nahIM. jene brahmacarya pALavuM che, eNe AMkha to maMDAya ja nahIM, bIjA badhA to mAMDe. tuM nIcuM joIne cAle che ke UMcuM joIne cAle che ? praznakartA: nIcuM joIne. Page #75 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya Ave che koI dA'Do ? praznakartA : be mahinA pahelAM e badhAmAMthI pasAra thaI gayo chuM. dAdAzrI : hamaNAM nathI thatuM have ? praznakartA : nA. samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : keTalA vakhatathI ? praznakartA : jyArathI jJAna maLyuM tyArathI ! dAdAzrI : tyAra pahelAM UMcuM joIne cAlato hato ? enAthI to AMkha dAjhe ane badhA roga ja emAM che, jue ne roga pese ! emAM AMkhano doSa che ? nA, mahIM ajJAnatAno doSa che ! ajJAnatAthI ene ema ja lAge che 'A strI che', paNa jJAna zuM kahe che ? ke "A zuddhAtmA che !' eTale jJAna hoya, enI to vAta ja judI ne ?! amAruM vacanabaLa to hoya, paNa ATalI cIjo sAcavavI paDe, to tamAro nizcaya nA Dage. eka to koInI sAme draSTi nA mAMDavI joIe, dharma saMbaMdhI hoya te vAMdho nathI, paNa te sAhajika hoya. bIjuM, kapaDAM paherelo mANasa Ama jotAMnI sAthe nAgo hoya to kevo dekhAya ? pachI cAmaDI ukheDI nAkhe to kevo dekhAya ? pachI cAmaDI kApI nAkhIne AMtaraDAM bahAra kADhyA hoya to kevo dekhAya ? ema badhI draSTi AgaLa AgaLa vadhyA kare, e badhA paryAya Ama ekkekTa dekhAya. have Avo abhyAsa ja karyo nathI ne ? to evuM kema dekhAya ? Ano to pahelAM khUba khUba vicArIne abhyAsa karavo paDe. A strI jAtine khAlI hAtha Ama aDI gayo hoya to paNa nizcaya DagAva, DagAva kare. rAtre UMghavA ja nA de evA e paramANuo ! mATe sparza to thavo ja nA joIe ane draSTi sAcave to pachI nizcaya Dage nahIM ! dAdAzrI : tyAre sAruM. aMdara to bahu bhAre 'rejimenTo' badhI paDelI che, bahu moTI moTI che. ATaluMka ja sAcavazo jarA ?! amArA vacanabaLathI keTalAMka mANasone regyulara thaI jAya che. amAruM vacanabaLa ne tamAruM aDaga nakkIpaNuM, A be ja guNAkAra thAya to vacce koInI tAkAta nathI ke ene pheravI zake ! evuM A amAruM vacanabaLa che. ame tamane zuM kahIe chIe ke tame aDaga thAva, tame moLA nA thazo. tamAro draDha nizcaya hovo joIe ke dAdAnI AjJA e ja dharma ane AjJA e ja mukhya vastu che. ame brahmacarya vrata koIne ApatAM nathI ane ApIe chIe to ya ame kahIe chIe ke amAruM vacanabaLa che, jabarajasta vacanabaLa che, te karmanA udayane pheravI nAkhe tevuM vacanabaLa che, paNa tArI sthiratA jo nA tUTI to. tAre bahu majabUtI pakaDI rAkhavI joIe. jJAnInA vacanabaLa sivAya bIjuM koI A kArya karI zake tema nathI, eTaluM badhuM jJAnInuM vacanabaLa hoya che ! jJAnInuM manobaLa ora jAtanuM hoya che ! kAraNa ke jJAnI pote vacananA mAlika nathI, mananA mAlika hotA nathI. je vacananA mAlika hoya, tenA vacanamAM baLa ja nA hoya. AkhuM jagata vacananuM mAlika thaIne beThuM che, temanAM vacanamAM baLa nA hoya. baLa to, vANI rekarDanI peTha nIkaLI, to e vacanabaLa kahevAya. amAruM vacanabaLanuM kAma evuM ke badhuM ja pALavA de, badhAM karmone toDI nAkhe ! vacanabaLamAM to gajabanI zakti che, ke kAma kADhI nAkhe !! 'pote jo saheja paNa Dage nahIM to karma ene nahIM DagAvI zake !!! karma - brahmacaryanI bhAvanA bhAvaje ne khUba sTroMga raheje ! nizcayamAM cetato raheje, kAraNa ke puNyane AthamI jatAM vAra nathI lAgatI. potAnAM nizcayamAM bahu baLa hoya to ja kAma thAya. vAreghaDIe mana bagaDI jatuM hoya to pachI nizcaya rahe nahIM ne ?! nizcaya jabarajasta joIe, 'sTroMga" joIe. pachI badhA Teko Ape, badhA 'helpa' karyA kare. nizcaya AgaLa koInuM nA cAle. nizcaya moTAmAM moTI vastu che. potAno nizcaya majabUta joIe. e nizcayane, mahIMthI ne mahIMthI vAta nIkaLe ne chatara chetara kare, ne pAchuM aMdarathI ja salAha ApI ApIne nizcayane toDI nAMkhe. te jyAre jyAre salAha ApavAmAM Ave to ApaNe enuM sAMbhaLavuM nahIM. tAre evuM Page #76 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 95 samajathI prApta brahmacarya DagAve to, ene vacanabaLa ja nA kahevAya ne ? vItarAgoe vacanabaLa ane manobaLane to TopamosTa kahyuM che, jyAre dehabaLane pAzavI baLa kahyuM che ! dehabaLa joDe levAdevA nathI, vacanabaLa joDe levAdevA che ! praznakartA : manobaLa eTale zuM? brahmacarya mATe Ama pAkuM thaI jAya, Dage nahIM, ene manobaLa kahevAya ke ? dAdAzrI : e to eka vAMdaro kude, eTale bIjo ya pAcho kUde. ema eka phero jue pachI e kUdavAnI hiMmata dharAve, ema karatuM karatuM manobaLa vadhatuM jAya; paNa jeNe joyuM ja nA hoya, te zI rIte kUde ? praznakartA : eTale A vAto sAMbhaLIe eTale kUde ? dAdAzrI : paNa e to joDe joDe potAnI mahIM icchA hoya, potAnI bhAvanA evI hoya tyAre evI majabUtI thAya. praznakartA : bhAvanA to mAre evI ja che. dAdAzrI : te enI meLe ja majabUta thaze. eka bAju vADa karIe ne pelI bAjunI vADamAM ziyALavA kANAM pADe, tene ApaNe pUrIe nahIM tyAre zuM thAya ? e to pAchaLa badhAM 'hola" pUratA javuM joIe ne ? ane navI vADa karatA javuM paDe. bhAvanA evI majabUta hoya to badhuM ya thAya. praznakartA : pAchalAM hola pUravAnAM eTale pratikramaNa karIne ja ne ? dAdAzrI : pratikramaNa to karavAnAM ja, paNa haju nabaLAIo javI joIe ne? mana majabUta hovuM joIe ne ? e bAju draSTi paNa nA jAya evuM hovuM joIe. manamAM nakkI karyuM hoya ke A bAju nathI ja jovuM eTale nA ja jue e ! pachI pAchaLa bhUtAMnI peTha game eTalI bUmo pADe to ya paNa e bAju nA ja jue, e bhaDake ja nahIM ne ! evuM manobaLa divase divase keLavAya tyAre kharuM! praznakartA : pelI icchA to aMdarathI saheja paNa thatI nathI. dAdAzrI : e to evuM lAge. be dahADA mATe evuM lAge, paNa e samajathI prApta brahmacarya to dasa varSanuM saravaiyuM bheguM dekhIe tyAre sAcI vAta ! praznakartA : eTale AvuM dasa varSa rahevuM joIe ?!!! dAdAzrI : dasa varSa nahIM, cauda varSa rahevuM joIe, rAma vanavAsa gayA hatA eTalAM varSa !! cauda varSa thayAM tyAre rAma majabUta thayA. eTale to ApaNe kahIe chIe ke amArI AjJA ane sAthe A jJAnane sinsiyaralI ekjhakTanesamAM rAkhe to agiyAra varSe ne kAM to cauda varSe pUrNAhuti thAya. kyAMka pola 'poSAtI' to nathI ne ? praznakartA: brahmacarya "svabhAvamAM hovuM eTale zuM ? dAdAzrI brahmacarya 'svabhAvamAM rahevuM e zabda kyAMthI lAvyo tuM? AtmA svabhAvathI ja brahmacArI che, AtmAne brahmacArI thavAnI jarUra nathI. praznakartA : Ape pelI vAta karelI ke je pUrve bhAvanA bhAvelI hoya, atyAre ene udayamAM AveluM hoya, te brahmacarya pALe. dAdAzrI : e to je bhAvanA AgaLa AvelI hoya, je AgaLa 'projekTa' karyuM hoya, e pramANe atyAre udaya Ave. te A jainanA chokarA-chokarIo je dIkSA le che. te joyuM hatuM ke ? vIsa varSano chokaro hoya che, bhaNelo hoya che, zrImaMta hoya che, te dIkSA le che. enuM kAraNa zuM ? gayA avatAromAM emaNe bIjA sAdhu-sAdhvIonA saMgathI evI bhAvanAo bhAvelI ane jainono rivAja evo che ke potAno chokaro ke chokarI AvI dIkSA le to bahu AnaMda pAme, "ohoho ! enA AtmAnuM kalyANa kare che. ApaNane to moha che ane ene moha UDI gayo che." eTale e loko to chokarAne helpa kare ! jyAre ApaNA loko to helpa kare nahIM. ApaNe to chokaro ja jato raheze ne mAruM nAma UDI jaze, evuM kaheze ! paNa ApaNAmAM ya pUrve bhAvanA bhAvelI hoya tyAre to "mAre brahmacarya pALavuM che" evuM sTroMga bole, nahIM to mahIM adabada thAya. zuM thAya ? Page #77 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya nahIM, pAchuM thoDIvAra besI rahevuM paDe che. zuM? praznakartA : brahmacaryanuM vrata lIdhA pachI koInuM Dagumagu thatuM hoya to ? 96 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : Dagamaga thAya. dAdAzrI : hA, Dagamaga thAya ne, ke Ama karuM ke tema karuM. ghaDIkamAM vicAra badalAya ne ghaDIkamAM vicAra thAya. tAro vicAra badalAI jAya che, ko'ka phero ? praznakartA : nathI badalAto. dAdAzrI : keTalA vakhatathI nathI badalAto ? praznakartA : cAra mahinAthI. dAdAzrI : cAra mahinA ? eTale kaMI A choDavo haju moTo nA kahevAya ne ? ene AvaDo nAno choDavo kahevAya. e to gAyanA paga nIce Ave to ya dabAI jAya.. praznakartA : koIne brahmacarya mATe nizcaya Dagumagu thAya, e enI pUrvanI bhAvanA evI haze, eTale ? dAdAzrI : nA, evuM nahIM, A nizcaya che ja nahIM eno. A pahelAMno projekTa nathI ane A je nizcaya karyo che, e lokonuM joIne karyo che. A khAlI dekhAdekhI che eTale Dagamaga thayA kare che, enA karatAM zAdI karane bhAI, zI khoTa javAnI che ? koI chokarI ThekANe paDaze ! ane je zAdI kare, tenI javAbadArI che ne ? nA kare to javAbadArI che kaMI enI ? bIjAe zAdI karI hoya ne tAre javAbadArI Ave ? bhAra jeTalo UMcakAya teTalo UMcako, be strIo karavI hoya to be karo. bhAra UMcakAvo joIene ApaNAthI ? ane bhAra na UMcakAya to ema ne ema kuMvArA raho, brahmacArI raho; paNa brahmacarya paLAvuM joIe ne ?! ta cAle apavAda brahmacaryamAM ! A bhaI kharuM kahe che ke A Dagumagu thatuM hoya, teno zo artha ?! e Dagumagu thAya che, enuM kAraNa ja eTaluM che ke AjanA A badhAnA hisAbe ApaNe karavA jaIe chIe, doDIe chIe ane doDAtuM to che dAdAzrI : DagamagavALAthI vrata levAya paNa nahIM ane vrata le to emAM bhalIvAra Ave ya nahIM. Dagumagu thAya che, te ApaNe nA samajIe ke "kamiMga ivenTasa kAsTa dhera zeDojha bIphora ?!' brahmacaryamAM apavAda rakhAya evI vastu nathI. kAraNa ke mANasanuM mana pola khoLe che, koI jagyAe AvaDuM amathuM kANuM hoya to tene mana moTuM karI Ape ! praznakartA : A pola khoLI kADhe, emAM kaI vRtti kAma kare che ? dAdAzrI : e mana ja kAma kare che, vRtti nahIM. manano svabhAva ja evo pola khoLavAno che. praznakartA : mana pola mAratuM hoya to, ene kaI rIte aTakAvavuM? dAdAzrI : nizcayathI, nizcaya hoya to pola mAre zI rIte te ? ApaNo nizcaya che, to koI pola mAre ja nahIM ne ? jene 'mAMsAhAra nathI khAvuM" evo nizcaya che, e nathI ja khAto. praznakartA : eTale dareka bAbatamAM nizcaya karI rAkhavA ? dAdAzrI : nizcayathI ja badhuM kAma thAya che. praznakartA : Apa jo nizcayano ATalo badho bhAra mUko cho, to e 'kramikamArga' nA kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : nA, kramikane levAdevA nahIM ne ! AtmA prApta thayA pachI kramika kyAMthI AvyuM ? kramika to AtmA prApta nA karyo hoya, tyAM sudhInA bhAgane kramika kahevAya che. AtmA prApta karyA pachI kramika hotuM ja nathI. Page #78 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : AtmA prApta karyA pachI nizcayabaLa rAkhavuM paDe? dAdAzrI potAne rAkhavAnuM ja nathI ne ?! ApaNe to 'caMdraza'ne kahevAnuM ke tame barAbara nizcaya rAkho. A vAtanA prazno pUchavAnA thAya to e pola khoLe che. mATe A prazno pUchavAnA thAya tyAre ene "cUpa' kahIe, 'geTa AuTa' kahIe, eTale e cUpa thaI jAya. 'geTa AuTa' kahetAMnI sAthe ja badhuM bhAgI jAya. - puruSArtha ja nahIM, paNa parAkrame pahoMco ! dAdAzrI : tAre zuM thAya che ? praznakartA divasamAM evo eviDansa bAjhe to viSayanI ekAda gAMTha phUTI jAya, paNa pAchuM tarata zrI vijhana Ama mUkI dauM. dAdAzrI : nadImAM to eka ja phero DULyo ke marI jAya ne? ke roja roja DUbe to marI jAya ? nadImAM eka phero ja DUbI mare, pachI vAMdho che ? nadIne khoTa javAnI che kaMI ? praznakartA: nadIne zI khoTa jAya ? dAdAzrI : tyAre khoTa kone jAya ? praznakartA : je maryo, ene jAya. dAdAzrI : ema ? tyAre tuM kahuM chuM ne, ke hajI to mAre viSayanI gAMTha phUTe che ? praznakartA : AnuM kAraNa zuM ? dAdAzrI : e to tAre zodhI kADhavAnuM. eka to AjJAmAM rahetA nathI ane kAraNa pUcho cho ?' zAstrakAroe to eka ja vakhatanA abrahmacaryane maraNa kahyuM che. brahmacArIne mATe zuM kahyuM che, ke eka vakhata abrahmacarya thAya enA karatAM samajathI prApta brahmacarya maraNa sAruM. marI jaje, paNa abrahmacarya nA thavA daIza. narkamAM jeTalo gaMdavADo nathI eTalo viSayamAM gaMdavADo che, paNa A jIvane bebhAnapaNAmAM samajAtuM nathI. jJAnI puruSa ekalA bhAnamAM hoya, te emane A gaMdavADo ArapAra dekhAya. jene draSTi ATalI badhI keLavAyelI, tene rAga kema utpanna thAya? karmano udaya Ave ne jAgRti nA rahetI hoya tyAre jJAnanAM vAkyo moTethI bolIne jAgRti lAve ane karmonI sAmo thAya, e badhuM parAkrama kahevAya. sva-vIryane skUrAyamAna karavuM e parAkrama. parAkrama AgaLa koInI tAkAta nathI. praznakartA : bahu 'eTeka Ave to hAlI jAya che. dAdAzrI : enuM nAma ja ApaNo nizcaya kAco che. nizcaya kAco nA paDe, e ApaNe jovAnuM che. 'eTeka to saMjoga hoya eTale Ave. A gaMdha Ave to enI asara thayA vagara rahe nahIM ne ? eTale ApaNo nizcaya joIe ke mAre ene aDavA devuM nathI. nizcaya hoya to kazuM thAya nahIM. jyAM nizcaya che tyAM badhuM ja che. ahIM puruSArthanuM baLa che. AtmA thayA pachI puruSArtha thayo, tenuM A baLa che, e bahu gajabanuM baLa che. chatAM ame zuM kahIe chIe ke ApaNAmAM nabaLAI che te jANavuM, paNa enI sAme zUrAtana hovuM ghaTe, to jayAre tyAre e nabaLAI jaze. zUrAtana haze to eka dahADo jItI jaze, paNa potAne niraMtara kheMcavuM joIe ke A khoTuM che. musalamAno ya eTaluM to jora kare che vagara jJAne ke, "are yAra jAne de, hiMmate mardA to madade khudA'; jyAre ApaNane to jJAna hoya to samajaNa nA paDe ? 'hiMmate mardA to madade khudA" evuM bolene, to zurAtana caDhI jAya ene to. ApaNe to A vijJAna che. vijJAnIne to hiMmata nA hoya evuM bane ja kema karIne ?! amane to ATaluM koI kahenAra ja nahotuM maLyuM. tame to bahu puNyazALI cho ke tamane to jJAnI puruSa maLyA che, nahIM to loka to avaLe raste caDhAvanArA maLe. Page #79 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 1% samajathI prApta brahmacarya nizcaya mAMge sinsIyAriTI ! atyAre to uMmara nAnI ne, te mohanIya pariNAma haju Avyo nathI. pelA karmanA udaya e to AvelAM ja nahIM ne ? eTale atyArathI ApaNe A goThavI rAkheluM hoya to kazI bhAMjagaDa nA Ave. A jJAna, A nizcaya badhuM ApaNe evuM goThavI rAkhIe ke A mohanIya pariNAmamAM ya ApaNane DagAve nahIM. A kALanI bahu vicitratA che ke A kALanA loko badhA mahA mohanIyavALA che. mATe temane moDhe 'kema cho ?" bolavuM. paNa emanI joDe AMkha paNa nA mAMDavI, AMkha mIlAvIne vAtacIta paNa nA karavI. A kALanI vicitratA che, tethI kahIe chIe. kAraNa ke A eka ja viSayarasa evo che ke sarvasva khovaDAvI nAkhe tema che. abrahmacarya ekaluM ja mahA muzkelIvALuM che, nahIM to savAranA pahoramAM nakkI karI nAkhavuM ke A jagatanI koI paNa cIja mane khapatI nathI, pachI tene sinsIyara rahevuM. mahIM to bahu labADo che ke je sinsIyara nA rahevA de, paNa jo ene sinsIyara rahe to pachI ene koI cIja naDatI nathI. jeTalo tuM sinsIyara eTalI tArI jAgRti. A tane sUtrarUpe ame ApIe chIe ne nAno chokaro ya samaje evuM phoDavAra paNa ApIe chIe. paNa je jeTalo sinsIyara, enI eTalI jAgRti. A to sAyansa che. jeTalI AmAM sinsIyAriTI eTaluM ja potAnuM thAya ane A sinsIyAriTI to TheTha mokSa bhaNI laI jAya. sinsIyAriTInuM phaLa morAliTImAM AvI jAya. je thoDo thoDo sinsIyara hoya ane jo e sinsIyAriTInA patha para cAlyo, e roDa upara cAlyo, to e morala thaI jAya. saMpUrNa morala thaI gayo, eTale paramAtmA prApta thavAnI taiyArI thaI gaI, eTale pahelA sinsIyAriTI joIe. morAliTI to pachI Ave. eka vakhata tuM sinsIyara thA. jeTalI vastune tuM sinsIyara, eTalI e vastu jItyA ane jeTalI vastune anasinsIyara, eTalI jItyA nathI. eTale badhe sinsIyara thAo to tame jItI jazo ! A jagata jItavAnuM che. jagata jItazo to mokSe javAze. jagata jItyA sivAya koI mokSe javA deze nahIM. samajathI prApta brahmacarya 101 rIja poInTa' pahelAM jokhamo jo ! praznakartA : te divase Apa kaMI kahetA hatA ke javAnImAM ya 'rIja poInTa' hoya che, to e "rIja poInTa' zuM che ? dAdAzrI : "rIja poInTa' eTale A chAparuM hoya che, te emAM 'rIja poInTa' kyAM AgaLa AvyuM ? Toca upara. dareka vastunuM udayAsta hoya che, udaya ne asta. karmono ya ne badhAno ya, udaya ne asta hoya che. sUryanArAyaNane paNa udaya-asta hoya che ke nathI hoto ? e jyAre senTaramAM hoya che, tenA karatAM udaya thAya tyAre nIce hoya ane asta thAya tyAre paNa nIce hoya ane vacce jyAre bahu Topa upara jAya tyAre e "rIja poInTa' kahevAya. evI rIte dareka karma 'rIja poInTa" upara pahoMce ne pachI UtarI jAya. tema yuvAnIno udaya ane yuvAnIno asta hoya che. yuvAnI jyAre 'rIja poInTa' upara jAya e vakhate ja badhuM pADI nAkhe. emAMthI e 'pAsa' thaI gayo, pasAra thaI gayo to jItyo. ame to badhuM ya sAcavI laIe, paNa enuM jo potAnuM mana pheraphAra thAya to pachI upAya nathI. eTalA mATe ame ene atyAre udaya thatAM pahelAM zIkhavADIe ke bhaI, nIcuM joIne cAlajo. strIne jozo nahIM, bIjuM badhuM bhajiyAM-jalebI jo jo. A tamAre mATe gerenTI nA apAya. kAraNa ke yuvAnI che. yuvAnI 'rIja poInTa" para caDhe tyAre pachI zAM pariNAma Ave, e zuM kahevAya ? jo ke amArA proTekazanamAM kazuM bagaDe nahIM, paNa seMkaDe pAMca TakA bagaDI ya jAya. evA nIkaLe ke nA nIkaLe ? praznakartA : eTale ame amAruM 'rIja poInTa' krosa karI jaIe, tyAM sudhI ekadama jAgRti rAkhavAnI ? dAdAzrI : "rIja poInTa' thatAM thatAM to bahu TAIma lAge. 'rIja poInTa' Ave to to bahu thaI gayuM ! to ya paNa Ano bhaya to TheTha sudhI rAkhavA jevo che. pachI enI meLe sephasAIDa thayelI ApaNane mAlama paDaze. praznakartA : krodha-mAna-mAyA-lobhane traNa varSa khorAka nA maLe to te bhUgarbhamAM jatAM rahe, evuM A viSayomAM kharuM ke nahIM ? Page #80 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 103 102. samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : AmAM to evuM hoya ja nahIM. AmAM 'no' apavAda ! bIjA badhAmAM apavAda, paNa AmAM to apavAda ja nahIM. brahmacarya mATe amArA taraphathI tamArA mATe pUruM baLa che, tamArI pratijJA majabUta, suMdara joIe ! tamArI pratijJA, ghaDabhAMja vagaranI, lAlaca vagaranI, duzmanAvaTa vagaranI hovI joIe ! draDha nizcayI pahoMcI zake ! praznakartA : Apa jyAre A batADone, potAne nA dekhAtuM hoya to ApaNe kahevAnuM UbhuM ke 'tArAmAM AvuM che to ja dAdA kahene.' eTale dekhAya. dAdAzrI : A kahuM chuM, te bIja nAkhuM chuM ! praznakartA : to ya AlocanA jyArathI meM ApI che ne tyArathI nizcaya ghaNo sTroMga thaI gayo che. dAdAzrI : e nizcaya sTroMga nA kahevAya, nizcaya to kaDaka thayelo hoya tyAre huM kahuM e. manathI nizcaya kare ekalo cAle nahIM, nizcaya vyavahAramAM ya paNa nizcaya hovo joIe. dAdAzrI : brahmacaryano korsa pUro karIza ? praznakartA: cokkasa. peluM to joIe ja nahIM have. viSayano vicAra nA game, evuM paNa je gamatApaNAnI bilipha che ne e rahyA kare haju. enA pratye je gamatApaNuM, e rahyA kare aMdara haju. dAdAzrI : ane aNagamo paNa kharo ? praznakartA : jeTalo gamo che, enAthI vadhAre aNagamo rahyA kare. dAdAzrI : paNa te nakkI zuM karyuM che ? praznakartA : brahmacaryano nizcaya varte Ama, paNa puruSArthamAM kacAza paDI jAya, to enA mATe zuM karavuM? samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : e puruSArthamAM kacAza nahIM, nizcaya e ja puruSArtha. praznakartA : nizcaya hoya eTale pelI vastu rahe ja pachI. dAdAzrI : te DiscArjamAM kacAza hoya che. kacAza hoya e DiscArjamAM hoya, cArjamAM nA hoya ane te DiscArjamAM hoya, tenI kiMmata nahIM. praznakartA : viSayanI bAbatamAM to pahelethI sTroMga rAkheluM che ane haju paNa e bAbatamAM vadhAre jAgRti rAkhelI che cheka sudhI, paNa A je bIjA je saMsAramAM prasaMgo bane ne. dAdAzrI : bIjAnuM kazuM nahIM, bIjAnI kiMmata ja nahIM, kiMmata ja AnI che, brahmacaryanI, bIjA badhA manuSyanA dehamAM pazu che ! pAzavatAno doSa che. bIjAnI kiMmata ja nahIM. praznakartA : bAkI viSayamAM to eTale sudhI nakkI che ke have jo thAya to caMdrazane khalAsa karI nAkhuM, paNa have to A nA ja joIe. dAdAzrI : to brahmacaryanuM sAruM kahevAya. e samajUtI joIe. bAkI hevAniyata hoya, te to aTake nahIM ne ! adhUrI samajaNa, tyAM nizcaya kAyo ! praznakartA : Ape nizcaya mATe vadhAre bhAra mUkyo che. to nizcaya mATe zuM hovuM ghaTe, brahmacArIone ? dAdAzrI : nizcaya eTale zuM ? ke badhA vicArone baMdha karI daIne eka ja vicAra para AvI javuM, ke ApaNe ahIMthI sTezane javuM che ja. sTezanathI gADImAM ja besavuM che. ApaNe basamAM nahIM javuM. eTale pachI badhA evA saMjogo bhegAM thAya, tamAro nizcaya hoya to. nizcaya kAco hoya to saMjoga nA bhegA thAya. praznakartA : hA, e nizcaya kAco paDe eTale emyuala nizcaya mATe zuM hovuM joIe ? kAraNa ke A kALa ja evo che ke nizcaya pheravI nAkhe. Page #81 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : e phare, ene ApaNe pAchuM pharI pheravavuM. e phare ne ApaNe pharI pheravavuM. paNa kALa ke badhuM ja che, te ApaNane nahIM pahoMcI vaLe. kAraNa ke ApaNe puruSa jAti chIe. bIjI badhI jAtio judI che. eTale A ApaNane puruSa jAtine nahIM pahoMcI zake. 104 praznakartA : paNa ApaNe Ama pherava pherava karIe, enA karatAM ekjhekTa samajI laIe to phare ja nahIM ne, nizcaya. dAdAzrI : nA. samajI levuM, tenI to vAta ja judI. samajyA vagaranuM kazuM karavAnuM hoya ja nahIM ne ? paNa eTalI badhI samajaNa paDavI muzkela che, enA karatAM nizcaya laIne cAlavuM. praznakartA : Ape evuM kIdheluM che ke A abrahmacarya e samajathI ja UDe evuM che, bIjI koI vastuthI UDe evuM che nahIM. dAdAzrI : samajathI hoya to e vicAratAM ja citarI caDe evuM che. paNa nathI citarI caDatI ne kema rAga thAya che, bhAva thAya che, e bAjuno ? kAraNa ke haju samajyo nathI barAbara. praznakartA : eTale e samaja nathI eTale eno nizcaya paNa eTalo barAbara nathI. dAdAzrI : hA, paNa samajaNa AvavI e jarA vAra lAge evI che. samajavA utare to utare evuM che, samajAya evuM che. samajamAM Ave tyAre to nizcaya-bizcaya kazuM karavAnuM rahyuM nahIM. kema gADIote tathI athaDAto ? viSayano svabhAva zuM che ? jeTalo sTroMga eTalA viSaya ochAM. emAM jeTalo nabaLo eTalA viSaya vadhyA. je sAva nabaLo hoya, tene bahu viSaya hoya. eTale nabaLAne pharI UMco ja nA AvavA de eTalA badhA viSaya vaLagyA hoya ane jabarAne aDe ja nahIM. praznakartA : e nabaLAI zenAM AdhAre TakI rahI che ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya 105 dAdAzrI : potAnI mahIM emAM pratijJA nA hoya, potAnI koI dahADo ya sthiratA nA hoya eTale e lapasato jAya. lapasato, lapasato khalAsa thaI jAya. brahmacarya tUTe to jhera khAIne mAvajata karaje, kahe che, paNa brahmacarya toDIza nahIM, e kramika jJAnamAM Ave. praznakartA : dhyeya upara pahoMcavuM hoya to akrama mArgamAM paNa nizcaya to Avo ja rAkhavo paDe ne ? dAdAzrI : nizcaya majabUta rAkhavAno, jabarajasta nizcaya majabUta joIe. tAruM kaMI rAge paDaze, lakhIne ApavAno chuM ? ema ! to sTroMga raho. kema ATalI badhI gADIomAM athaDAto nathI ? sAmo athaDAvA phare to ya nahIM athaDAvuM evo nizcaya karyo che ne to kevo nIkaLI jAya che ne, athaDAto nahIM ne ? praznakartA : nA.... dAdAzrI : ATalAM sAru rahI jAya che ne ! athaDAmaNa cAra AMgaLa mATe rahI jAya che ne ? rastAmAM gADI-bADIone badhAne ! praznakartA : e to Ama thavAnI hoya, to pote jhaDapathI khasI jAya. gADI athaDAI paDavAnI hoyane, to pote jhaDapathI khasI jAya. dAdAzrI : eTale A badhuM Ama tamAro nizcaya hoyane to kazuM ya thAya nahIM. dAtata cora, tyAM tahIM nizcaya.... praznakartA : dAnata cora hovI e nizcayanI kacAza kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : kacAza nA kahevAya, A nizcaya ja nahIM. kacAza to nIkaLI jAya badhI, paNa e to nizcaya ja nathI. praznakartA : paNa Ama dAnata thoDIka thoDIka cora hoya ke AkhI Page #82 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 106 cora hoya, evo phera haze ne emAM ? dAdAzrI : cora thaI eTale Akho ja cora. thoDIka cora zA mATe ? ApaNe makAna bAMdhavuM hoya to bAraNAM pahelethI nakazAmAM sudhArI levAM, be bArIo joIze, amAre. pachI corIo karavI e sAruM kahevAya ? vicAra kema Ave saheja paNa ? abrahmacaryano vicAra kema Avavo joIe ? meM tamane zuM kahyuM, ugatAM pahelAM ukheDIne pheMkI devuM, nahIM to AnA jevuM jokhama koI nahIM. praznakartA : dAdAe eka-be vAra Takora karI, cora dAnata mATe, paNa haju vAta barAbara pakaDAtI nathI ema. dAdAzrI : pakaDIne zuM kAma che te ? jema lAto vAgaze, mahIM lhAya baLazene, to enI meLe pakaDAze. have to anubhava zarU thaze ne ! pahelI parIkSA Ape ane pachI anubhava zarU thAya ne ! praznakartA : dAnata cora na hoya, to pachI vicAra bilakula Avato baMdha thaI jAya ? dAdAzrI : nA, cho ne vicAra Avato. vicAra Ave emAM ApaNe zuM vAMdho che ? vicAra baMdha nA thaI jAya. dAnata cora nA joIe, mahIM game tevI lAlacane ya gAMThe nahIM, sTroMga ! vicAra ja kema Ave te ? praznakartA : haju thoDI dAnata cora kharI. dAdAzrI : cora dAnata hoya, te ya pote jANe. praznakartA : pachI koI vAra vicAro bahu phUTe e ? dAdAzrI : vicAro cho ne lAkha ghaNA ya phUTe to ya..... praznakartA : pachI ApaNane je aMdara sukha hoya, e ochuM thaI jAya. dAdAzrI : e sukha ochuM thAya to te tape, lAla-lAla thaI jAya. e to te ghaDIe tapa karavuM paDe ne ? sukha ochuM thAya mATe duHkha vahoravuM ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya 107 praznakartA : eTale meM pUchyuM ke e 'dAnata cora' che eTale thAya che. dAdAzrI : dAnata cora nahIM. AmAM to kSatriyapaNuM joIe, kSatriyapaNe ! cittoDanA rANA zuM kahetA hatA ? nahIM namavAno, nahIM ja namavAno. te rAja-pATa choDyuM paNa namyo nahIM. nAsI gayo paNa namyo nahIM. nahIM to bAdazAhe kahI dIdhuM jo tame namo, to A pachI A gAdI upara besI jAva. tyAre kahe, nA. mAre evI gAdI nA joIe. huM cittoDano rANo nahIM namuM.' praznakartA : hajI prakRti herAna kare che. paNa mahIM kharuM lAla-lAla thAya tyAre ja kharo dAdAno anubhava thAya che. dAdAzrI : e tapa pUruM karavuM paDe. pachI pelo pAra vagarano AnaMda rahe. e vADa kUdayo ke pachI pAra vagarano AnaMda. viSayatA viSa kema parakhAtAM nathI ? praznakartA : to evuM kharuM, viSaya samajaNathI jAya ? jema samajaNa vadhatI jAya ema viSaya jato rahe ! dAdAzrI : samajaNathI ja jato rahe. A sApa jherI hoya ne kaiDe ke tarata marI jAya. evI jo samajaNa besI gaIne, pachI e jherI nAgathI cheTo ja rahe. evuM AmAM samajaNa besI javI joIe. praznakartA : hA. paNa e samajamAM kema AvatuM nathI ? dAdAzrI : anAdikALanuM ArAdheluM che ne, e ja satya mAneluM che ne. praznakartA : e barAbara che, paNa e ArAdheluM ne atyAranuM jJAna, emAM hajI kema yuddha cAlyA kare che ? dAdAzrI : vigatavAra vicAravAnI potAnI zakti ja nathI ne ! praznakartA H zakti nathI ke enI IcchA nathI ? Page #83 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 108 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : nA, zakti nathI. icchA to che badhI. praznakartA : have mane evuM lAge che ke zakti to che ja. dAdAzrI : ane zakti badhI hoya che to kharI ja, paNa e utpanna thayelI nathI ne ?!! praznakartA H to e zakti utpanna kevI rIte thAya ? dAdAzrI : e to rAta-dahADo enA vicAra hoya, enI para vicAraNA kara kara karyA kare ane emAM keTaluM ArAdhavA yogya che ne keTaluM e karavA yogya che, tarata ApaNane mahIM jema jema vicAre caDe ne, tema khUlluM thatuM jAya. praznakartA : eTale eno miniMga evo ja thayo ke A koI paNa hisAbe A vyavahAra uDADI devo joIe. dAdAzrI : tethI pelA zrI vijhana vApare ne ? ane vicAreluM hoya to zrI vijhane ya vAparavuM na paDe. praznakartA : divasa daramyAnanAM je vyavahAro che, e vyavahAra pharajIyAta che. e ja ene pragatimAM aMtarAyarUpa chene atyAre, kAraNa ke ene vicAravAno TAIma ja maLato nathI. dAdAzrI : eTale AnA karatAM sauthI sArAmAM sAruM che, ke ApaNe draSTi koI jagyAe coMTI, to ukheDI nAkhavI ne pratikramaNa karI nAkhavuM, basa. praznakartA: e pachI mana kyAM sudhI e eka ja siddhAMta upara cAle ? mana eka siddhAMta upara kanTInyuasa nathI cAlatuM. vAreghaDIe draSTi bagaDe ne pratikramaNa karavuM ke Ama karavuM, e siddhAMta kanTInyuasa nathI cAlato. zrI vijhana paNa eTa e TAIma nathI cAlatuM. kanTInyuasa rahevuM joIe ane vigatavAra ene samAdhAna thAya to e AgaLa Ave che. dAdAzrI : e vigatavAre ya saplAya karavuM paDe. ApaNAthI bane tyAM samajathI prApta brahmacarya 109 sudhI paheluM to A ukheDI nAkhavuM, A rUTa ke cAlyuM. potAnA khetaramAM badhuM ja je kapAsa vAvyo che eTale kapAsane oLakhIe ke jo A kapAsa che. eTale bIjuM UgyuM e mAtra kADhI nAkhavAnuM. ene nIMdavAnuM kahe che. ema nIMdI nAkhIe te thaI rahyuM. badhuM ugatAM ja dAbI nAkhyuM. te thaI rahyuM. e pahelAM dAbI zakAya evuM che nahIM. Uge nahIM tyAM sudhI bIja khabara paDe nahIM, ugatA ja oLakhI gayA ke A bIja juduM che. praznakartA : paNa eno nizcaya hoya to bIjuM ugatAM ja ene khabara paDI jAya ne ? dAdAzrI : bIjuM bIja dekhAya e ukheDIne pheMkI devuM eTale TUMkamAM sAruM sauthI. praznakartA : paNa A eka siddhAMta upara to besAya ja nahIM, AgaLa javuM to paDaze ne ? dAdAzrI : te ghaDIe pAcho AvI maLaze rasto. te ghaDIe enI meLe saMjogo badhA bhegA thaI jaze. tane kAma lAge A vAto badhI ? tAre zuM kAma lAge ? praznakartA : lAge ja ne ? ApaNA dhyeyanuM ja che ne ! "udaya'tI vyAkhyA to samajo.. praznakartA : vrata barAbara paLAya che ke nahIM, e ApaNe kevI rIte samajIe ? dAdAzrI : e ApaNI AMkho camakArA mAre che ke nathI mAratI e khabara paDe ne ? jo kadI pelA vicAro game ApaNane. kAraNa ke AtmA tharmomiTara jevo che, to tarata badhuM khabara paDI jAya ke avaLe raste cAlyuM. praznakartA : eTale potAno nizcaya pAko che. have pachI je bane che, e to Akho udayano bhAga Avyo ne ? dAdAzrI : udayano bhAga kayo kahevAya ke saMDAsa javuM nathI ema Page #84 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya kahe te. ahIM gharamAM to saMDAsa thAya nahIM ne ! eTale saMDAsane TheTha sudhI pakaDI rAkhe ane pachI jAya, e udaya bhAga kahevAya. game tyAM saMDAsa karavA bese, e udaya bhAga kahevAya nahIM. e viSayamAM zuM thAya che ke e rasa game che, e pahelAMnI Teva che. cAkhavAnI Adata che, eTale e pachI udaya bhAgamAM hAtha ghAlavA jAya che. udaya bhAga to, bilakula pote nA pADe ne TheTha sudhI sTroMga, pote lapasavuM nathI, ema kahe che. pachI lapasI paDe, e vAta judI che. lapasI paDanAro mANasa keTalI sAvacetI rAkhe ? sAvadhAnIpUrvaka rahevuM, to vAMdho nahIM. praznakartA : eTale A DimArkezana bahu sUkSma che. dAdAzrI : bahu sUkSma che. praznakartA : ane pote ja kaDaka rahIne samajI zake. pote ja kaDaka 110 thAya. dAdAzrI : e kaDaka rahevuM joIe, pachI lapasI paDAya e judI vastu che. jema taLAvamAM taranAro mANasa, DUbavAno prayatna hoya ja nahIM eno. praznakartA : atyAre je brahmacarya saMbaMdhI nizcaya thAya che, e zenA AdhAre thAya che ? zenA upara AdhAra rAkhe ? sTroMga nizcaya ?! dAdAzrI : je tamAre karavuM che enA upara. pANImAM chokaro paDyo hoya ramavA, taravA. e zenA AdhAre nizcaya kare che bacavAno ? praznakartA : jIvavuM che eTale. dAdAzrI : e jIvAze to ya zuM ne mare to ya zuM, tenuM zuM thAya ? praznakartA : DUbI ja jAya. potAne Ama brahmacarya saMbaMdhI viveka Ave che, enA AdhAre ja A nizcaya thAya che ? dAdAzrI : e to samaje zuM karuM to sukhI thavAya. sukha khoLe che ane potAno svabhAva brahmacArI ja che, svabhAvamAM ! samajathI prApta brahmacarya 111 draDha nizcayane zetAM aMtarAyo ?! praznakartA : Ape kahyuM ke aMtarAyo UbhA karyA che ane pachI kahe che ke mane dekhAtuM nathI. to tenA anusaMdhAnamAM thrI vijhananI bAbatamAM kyA aMtarAya ane kevI rIte aMtarAya naDe che ? dAdAzrI : nizcaya kare ke mAre have brahmacarya pALavuM che, ene kazuM naDatuM nathI. A to badhA bahAnAM kADhe. ApaNA mahAtmAo keTalA nizcayavALA che Ama, jarAya DagatA nathI. zrI vijhana e to helpIMga che. paNa jeno nizcaya che, jene paDavuM nathI, e kema kUvAmAM paDe ?! tAro nizcaya pAko che ne ? ekadama pAko ? praznakartA : ekadama pAko ! dAdAzrI : huM, evuM pAkuM hovuM joIe. badhA keTalA pAkAM. A to jene nizcayanuM ThekANuM nathI, te AvuM badhuM khoLa khoLa kare ane aMtarAyo pADe. pote ja nakkI kare ke bhaI, mAre nathI ja paDavuM. eTale na ja paDe. pachI koI dhakko mAravAno che kaMI ! ane to AnaMda rahe, Ama AvA aMtarAyo-baMtarAyo khoLavAthI to AnaMda raheto haze ? praznakartA : bIjA upAyo paNa joDe che ja ne ! zrI vijhana sivAyanA upAyo che ja ne pAchAM, pratikramaNa che e badhuM.... dAdAzrI : e to pratikramaNa e manathI bhUla thayelI hoya to. nahIM to pratikramaNanI ya zI jarUra ? nizcaya eTale tene koI DarAvatA nathI. A to badhuM ThekANuM nA hoya tene A badhuM che. A to bIjA upAyo zene mATe khoLe che ! nizcaya eTale nizcaya ! nathI paiNavuM ene nakkI karavuM joIe ke mAre nathI ja paiNavuM. pachI koNa paiNAvanAra che ? ane paiNavuM che ene nakAmuM hAya, hAya karavAnI jarUra nahIM, paiNIne besI javuM. dahIMmAM ne dUdhamAM paga rAkhavo nahIM koIe. kUvAmAM nathI ja paDavuM evo nizcaya che, tene cAra dahADAthI UMghyo Page #85 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 112 samajathI prApta brahmacarya nA hoya ane kUvAnI dhAra upara besADe to ya nA UMdhe tyAM. praznakartA : tyAM to pratyakSa dekhAya ne ke paDI jaIza ahIM. dAdAzrI : hA, te Ama pratyakSa enA karatAM ya bhUruM che A to. A to keTalI moTI khAI che ! anaMta avatAranI jaMjALa vaLage che. eTale mana majabUta thayuM hoya to thAya, nahIM to Ama dahADo vaLe nahIM. A kAcA manathI Ama, A dorA sIvavAnA hoya. kevuM sTroMga ke marI jauM paNa chUTe nahIM. tAre nizcaya majabUta che ne ! praznakartA : ekadama sTroMga. sTroMga sTroMga bolIe to ya sTroMga thaI jAya che ! dAdAzrI : ema ! praznakartA : nizcaya sTroMga thAya eTale badhuM AvatuM ja jAya. dAdAzrI : e sikresI maTe eTale 'opana Tu skAya' thaI gayo. e gupta laIne A badhI sikrasI pachI. amArI peTha bolI zakAya. 'no sikresI.' niraMtara sukha bhogave che, tenA moMDhA to juo ?! divela pIdhA jevuM dekhAya ? ane nathI bhogavatA tenA ? praznakartA : nizcaya sTroMga che ane meM koI sikresI nathI rAkhI. Apane AlocanAmAM badhI ja vAta opana karelI che. samajathI prApta brahmacarya 113 che. jJAnI puruSa pAse pratyakSa saMyoga che, Aptaputro sAthe huM rahuM chuM. mAre AmAM bilakula InTaresTa nathI, chatAM ya paNa AkarSaNa kema rahyA kare che ? dAdAzrI : A AkarSaNa thAya ne, te pUrvano hisAba che te AkarSaNa thAya. tene tarata ne tarata e karI nAkhavAnuM. praznakartA : pratikramaNa. dAdAzrI : hA. e kaMI ApaNA nizcayane toDatuM nathI. AMkhane kaMI ThIka lAge to kheMcAya, tethI kaMI guno thato nathI. e to che te enI meLe pratikramaNa kare eTale dhovAI jAya. e gayA avatAranI bhUla che ane te evo hisAba hoya to ja tyAM jAya, nahIM to jAya nahIM koI dahADo. e bheguM thAya to AkarSaNa thAya. e to pratikramaNathI dhovAI jAya. eno bIjo zuM hisAba ? e to zrI vijhana hoya to ya dekhAya ke AkarSaNa thAya. samajAya evI vAta che ke nahIM ? praznakartA : samajAya che ne. mane ema hatuM ke AvuM sarasa jJAna maLyuM che ane AvA badhA suMdara saMyogo chuTavAnA Ama bhegA thayA che, to jo pyaoNra thaI javAya eka A bAbatamAM, to bahu sAruM ema. dAdAzrI : hA, paNa pyaoNra ja che. nizcaya che tyAM sudhI pyaoNra ane AvI IcyaoNriTI mAnI te ya bhUla che ApaNI. nizcaya ApaNo hato eTale pyaoNra rahe ! pachI kheMcANa thAya tenAM upAya ! kheMcANa te kevuM, lapasI paDyA tethI kaMI guno che ? pharI UbhA thaIne cAlyA. kapaDAM bagaDyA hoya te dhoI nAkhavAnA. ApaNe lapasI paDIe to guno, lapasI paDyA to guno nathI. praznakartA : mane ema aMdara evo kheda thayA kare che ke AvuM sarasa jJAna maLyuM, chatAM A sthiti kema haju anubhavI rahyo chuM? dAdAzrI : nA, e to badhAne ema hoya. e to urdu ApaNe jo e pratikramaNathI dhoI nAkhIe to dahADo vaLe. nahIM to UbhuM rahyuM kahevAya. gayA avatAre sahIo karelI, te choDe nahIM ne dAdAzrI : e badhuM barobara che, paNa AvuM badhuM A tophAna khoLavAnuM ja nA hoya. nizcaya eTale kazuM khoLavAnuM nahIM. enI meLe ja AvIne UbhuM rahe. bIjI kazI jarUra ja nahIM ne ! Ave to ya zuM ne nA Ave to ya zuM, to tuM tAre ghera rahe, kahIe. e nA Ave tyAM sudhI ApaNe Aya Aya karavuM. praznakartA H mane ema rahyA kare che ke ATalo mAro nizcaya sTroMga Page #86 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ [4] viSaya vicAro pajave tyAre... e to che bharelo mAla praznakartA : mAre dhaMdhAne lIdhe bahAra badhe pharavAnuM bahu thAya che. dAdAzrI : hA, paNa e saMjogomAM ApaNe cetatA rahevAnuM, e caDI bese to caDI besavA nahIM devAnuM. e nyuTala che ne ApaNe che te puruSa chIe. nyuTrala, puruSane jIte nahIM koI dahADo ya. mAMsAhAranI dukAne jauM to ya vicAra nA Ave, te zuM ? kAraNa ke e mAla bharyo nathI ne ! eTale pachI ApaNe nA samajI laIe ke bhaI, bharelo hoya have te ja kare che. nA bharyo hoya to nathI kUdavAno. e samajaNa paDe ke na paDe ? praznakartA : e barAbara che. paNa bahu vicAro Ave ne eTale peluM e thaI jAya ke sAluM AvuM badhuM ?! dAdAzrI : bahAra loko bUmAbUma karatAM hoya, tethI karIne ApaNe bAraNuM vAsIne beThA hoya ekabAju, to bhAMjagaDa che ? ApaNe enI joDe vyavahAra karavo ja nahIM, to pachI ApaNe rahI zakIe, eTale e jhaMjhAvAta samajathI prApta brahmacarya 115 Ave te pachI pAra nIkaLI jAya, ne jhaMjhAvAta UDI jAya. vaMToLIyA kaMI roja hoya ? be dahADA, Akho dahADo cAle toya uDAvI daIe. A badhA kahe ne, Amane kaMI vaMToLIyA nahIM AvatA hoya ? have Ane keTalA ya vaMToLIyA Ave che, paNa zuM kare ? praznakartA : caMdreza viSaya bhogavato hoya evA vicAro Ave, AvuM tevuM badhuM dekhAya, phoTAo badhA paDe aMdara. game nahIM aMdara kazuM pachI. dAdAzrI : bhalene nA game. nA game to ya caMdrezane ne ? tane to nahIM ne ? tuM to judone AmAM ! viSaya nA hovo joIe, hoya bIjI koI bhUlo to calAvI levAya. praznakartA : evo vicAra Ave ke ApaNane InTaresTa paDe che, mATe dAnata cora haze to ja InTaresTa paDe. nahIM to InTaresTa paDavo ja nA joIe. dAdAzrI : InTaresTa paDe evo mAla lAvyA chIe ApaNe. ApaNane khabara paDe. oho ! InTaresTa paDe evo che. eTale kahIe, 'InTaresTa vAparo tame. paiNo hau, koNa nA pADe che ?" AtmAne AmAM InTaresTa hoto ja nathI, e InTaresTa che, AhArIne. AhArI joyelAM te ! vadhAre ya khaI jAya che to du:kha thaI jAya ane upavAsa karavA hau bese, pAchA e ja AhArI ! praznakartA : pachI evA vicAra Ave ke A nizcayamAM kacAza che ke dAnata cora che ke AvuM kema thAya che ? dAdAzrI : nA, e to bharelo mAla che ne TAIma thayo che. AjubAjunA saMjogo evA che eTale phUTe che. praznakartA : eka bebhAnapaNAmAM viSayamAM kheMcAI gayA ane bIjuM jAgRtipUrvaka kheMcAI gayA, cAlyuM ja nahIM tyAM AgaLa have. pachI zuM karavuM ? ane eno keTalo doSa bese ? dAdAzrI : doSa to kharo ne ! vaide kahyuM hoya ke maracuM nA khAjo Page #87 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 116 samajathI prApta brahmacarya ne ApaNe maracuM khAIe, to zuM thAya ? praznakartA : AjJA nA paLAI to zuM karavuM pachI ? dAdAzrI : te to eNe maracuM khAdhuM, te pachI roga vadhyo. praznakartA : paNa eno upAya to hovo joIe ne ? dAdAzrI : pratikramaNa karavAnuM. praznakartA paNa jeNe AjJA ApI hoya, ene kahevuM to paDaze ne? dAdAzrI : hA. kahe to paNa e pratikramaNa karavAnuM kahe. bIjuM zuM kahe ? te rUbarU pratikramaNa kara. ko'ka dahADo mahIM kaMIka vicAra kharAba Ugyo ane kADhI nAkhatAM vAra lAgI pachI enuM moTuM pratikramaNa karavuM paDe. e to vicAra Ugyo ke tarata kADhI nAkhavAno, pheMkI devAnuM. praznakartA : pahelAM evI sthiti hatI ke huM A badhAthI judo paDuM ne, eTale brahmacarya rahe ja nahIM, evI sthiti thaI gayelI. saheja ToLAmAMthI judo rahuM ke ekalo ghera rahuM ne to badhA vicAro pharI vaLe. - dAdAzrI : vicAro pharI vaLe, emAM ApaNe zuM jAya che te ? ApaNe jonAra chIe tene ! A kaMI hoLImAM kema hAtha nathI ghAlato ? hoLIno doSa kADhe e khoTuM ne ! doSa to ApaNe hAtha ghAlIe e kahevAya. vicAra to badhI jAtanA pharI vaLe. maccharAM pharI vaLatA hoya, ene ApaNe Ama Ama karIe to rahe nahIM. te A to Ama to hAtha duHkhe, paNa A to kudaratano to hAtha ja du:khe evo nathI. ApaNe kahIe macchara aDavA nathI devA, to mahIM evuM ya bane. e nizcaya karo tyAM brahmacarya kevuM sarasa paLAya !! judApaNAthI jItAya !! dAdAzrI : tAre kemanuM che ? tAre rAge paDI jaze ne ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya 117 praznakartA : paDI jaze. dAdAzrI : ! tuM to evuM ja bole che ne ! "paDI jaze, paDI jaze" ene e ja jagyAe Uge che ne e ja jagyAe Athame che. e paDato nathI ne kaMI, e kahe, paDI jaze sUryanArAyaNa ! praznakartA : e mahIMnuM rAge paDI jaze, caMdrazanuM ! dAdAzrI : ema. paNa paiNavAnuM kahe che ? praznakartA : e gAMTho phUTe che. dAdAzrI : ene kahevuM ke "jo gAMTho phUTaze ne, te ame jyAM sudhI eksepTa nahIM karIe tyAM sudhI tamAruM kaMI vaLavAnuM nathI. amathA tArA dA'DA ja bagaDaze, chAnomAno besI rahe ne !" amathA paiNo ne rAMDo, ne paNo ne rAMDo ema karyA karatA'tA. besI rahone, paiNazo ya nahIM ne rAMDazo ya nahIM. ame sahakAra kaMI ApavAnA nathI. praznakartA : eTale huM sahI nathI karato tyAM sudhI gADuM pharsTaklAsa cAle. dAdAzrI : ApaNe ApaNI meLe Thapako Apavo paDe ke kazuM vaLaze nahIM. mATe cupa beso ne ! AvA be-cAra jAtanA prayoga goThavI devA ke jenAthI chUTA rahevAya. dAdAzrI : tane pastAvo nathI thato, nA paiNyo te ? praznakartA : nA, evuM nahIM. dAdAzrI : to nA paiNyA te sAruM lAgyuM tane ? praznakartA : hA. je bIjA loko paiNelA hoya, emanuM badhuM ya du:kha jovA maLe ne ? ghara ne bahAra badhe jovA maLe, ughADuM ja che ne ! dAdAzrI : baLyA, A pratyakSa dekhAtA duHkhane melone pULo ! pelA du:khane joI lezuM thoDuMka. e dAdAnA kahyA pramANe karIzuM, to rAge paDI Page #88 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 119 praznakartA : paNa hajI ghaNI jarUra che. have badhuM jaldI khAlI thAya evuM kaMIka karI Apo ema. dAdAzrI : evuM che ne jaldI khAlI thavuM, eTale A deha khalAsa thavo. 118 samajathI prApta brahmacarya jaze. ApaNA mahAtmAone to pacI jAya. paNa pelI (brahmacaryanI)copaDI ekekI rAkhavI paDe joDe, tuM nathI rAkhato ? praznakartA: rAkhuM chuM. dAdAzrI : vAMcuM chuM ne pachI ? thoDuM thoDuM vAMcavuM paDe. eTale vAMce tyAre mana je bahu kUdAkUda karatuM hatuM, te TATuM thaI jAya. tAre to bahu phakkaDa rahe che ne ? praznakartA : sarasa. e copaDI helpa kare thoDI, paNa A vijJAna to ekadama ja chuTuM ja rAkhe. dAdAzrI : A vijJAnanI vAta judI, A vijJAnanI vAta ja kyAM thAya ! praznakartA : eTale e copaDInI helpa laIe ne, paNa vijJAna para vadhAre jora rAkhIe chIe ame.. dAdAzrI : vijJAna to bahu kAma kare. praznakartA e game tevA saMjoga Ave, e pelI copaDImAM nA hoya. dAdAzrI : tAruM gADuM rAge paDI gayuM che have. pahelAM to mane lAgatuM hatuM, ke A strI thaI jaze. paNa pachI bahu Takora mArI. tyAre zuM karuM ? meM kahyuM, 'AvatA bhava che te kapaDAM paheravA paDaze strInA, sADI- blAujha." tyAre zuM kahuM ?! have badhuM nIkaLI gayuM. moDhAM para joI laIene ame ! enA vicAra-bicAro badhA dekhAI jAya amane. e strInAM kapaDAM sArA lAgatAM haze paheravAnAM ? viSaya joIe eTale strInA kapaDAM lAvavAM ja paDe ne pachI ? praznakartA : tame amArI saMbhALa pahelethI ja bahu rAkhI che. dAdAzrI : e to rAkhavI ja paDe ne ! have saMbhALa rAkhavA jevA nathI, have e cAlyA kare. eTale have bIjAne pakaDIe. je kAcuM hoya, tene pakaDIe. praznakartA: eTale A je badho, viSayo ne kapaTano, je mAla bharyo che e badho mAla khAlI karavo che. dAdAzrI : ohoho viSayano ! viSayanuM khAlI karavuM che kharuM ! paNa ene TAIma khAlI karuM to ya vAMdho zo che paNa ? praznakartA : e khUMce che mahIM. dAdAzrI : e mAla phUTe, temAM tane zuM vAMdho ? khUMce, tuM e bAju sUI jauM tyAre. A bAju sUI jaIe, ApaNA mahIM sUI jaIe to ! 'strI'nA palaMgamAM sUI jaIe tyAre khUMce ne ! 'ApaNA' palaMgamAM sUI jaIe to ApaNane pachI koNa khUMce ? bahu kheMce che ? to pachI paiNI nAkha. praznakartA : nA, evuM nahIM. A pelI gAMTho phUTe e khUMce. dAdAzrI : emAM khUMce zAnuM ? 'joyA' karavAnuM. emAM khUMce zuM ? ApaNe" 'tyAM" besIe to khUMce. praznakartA : hA. eTale caMdrezane ja khUMce ke AvuM nA hovuM joIe. dAdAzrI : caMdrezane khUMce, temAM tAre zuM ? caMdrezane kahIe, 'le kADha svAda ! le tArA karelAM tuM bhogavyA kara.' ApaNane kazuM nA kare. tamAre to uMmara nAnI te haju harakatanA sTezano AvavAnA, narI jhADI ne jaMgala badhuM ! strI viSaya e khoTI vastu che, evuM tane niraMtara rahyA kare che ? praznakartA : niraMtara. dAdAzrI : ne abhiprAya te ja rahe ? praznakartA : e ja. Page #89 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : have pahelAM strI viSaya e sAruM che mAneluM, eTale to A mahIM gAMTho bharAI che, have A UDI jaze Aste rahIne. navuM mAla bharato nathI. eTale tAre jokhama rahyuM nahIM ne ! navuM bharAya evuM jJAna ja nathI ne ApaNuM ! 120 satsaMgamAM ya sAvadha rahevuM ! strI-puruSamAM vikAra nA hoya e pavitra. tame jeTalo kAmano badalo Apo, tenA karatAM vadhAre badalo tamane male. eTale A karavAnuM. jagata kalyANa thAya ane ApaNuM. nahIM to A to kazo mAla ja nahoto. mIThuM-maracuM ya nahotuM ne ! e to have che te navesarathI moTImoTI dukAno thaI. praznakartA : viSaya saMbaMdhI khAsa dhyAna rAkhavuM paDe che. gAmogAma jaIene, tyAM jenTas karatAM leDIjha vadhAre hoya haMmeza mATe. A gAmegAma satsaMgamAM jaIne to sIttera TakA to leDIjha ja hoya ane trIsa TakA ja puruSo hoya. eTale brahmacarya saMbaMdhI khUba jAgrata rahevuM paDe. e lokono badho risponsa bahu hoya. jema ke pada gavaDAve suMdara, to e loko Ama khuza thaI jAya. dAdAzrI : AvuM to sthULa abrahmacarya thAya nahIM ne ! A to ahIM AgaLa sUkSmamAM bhAMjagaDa che. te rastAmAM-zaheromAM bhegA thAya. pelA gAmaDAmAM to eTaluM badhuM rucinuM kAraNa ja nA hoya ne ! praznakartA : paNa gAMTho phUTe ko'kavAra. dAdAzrI : ene to toDI nAMkhIe. praznakartA : enuM nivAraNa tarata thaI jAya. tarata ja pAMca miniTamAM. dAdAzrI : jeTaluM dhovAyuM eTaluM ochuM. 'zUTa ona sAITa' ja hovuM praznakartA : 'zUTa ona sAITa' ja thaI jAya. A to amAre pelA joIe. samajathI prApta brahmacarya bhegA thavAnA prasaMgo Ave ne. Ama to ghera hoya to Ave nahIM. dAdAzrI : anaMta avatArathI AnA A ja paDaghA. pahelAnA saMskAra e bhAna ja nahIM ne ! 121 matatI polo sAme.... eka strI ApaNA sAme AMkha mAra-mAra karatI hoya, temAM ApaNe zuM ? e to strI to mAre ja. emAM ApaNe zuM ? tU kharo chuM ? evo kAyado che ke strIne AMkha nA marAya ? evuM ApaNe ene kahevAya ? praznakartA : strIne nA kahevAya, paNa caMdreza mahIM bheravAI jAya che, enuM zuM ? caMdreza e kheMcAI jAya che. dAdAzrI : eTale ja e paiNI jAya, to e sAruM ne ! praznakartA : nA, evuM nathI joItuM. dAdAzrI : tyAre evuM ja ne ! A ja tArI nabaLAI ! AMkha mAre temAM ApaNe zuM ? ApaNe zrI vijhanathI joIe to, dekhAya zuM emAM? zrI vijhana tuM nahIM joto ? mA-bApa ApaNA dhyeyane badalAvatA hoya, to ApaNe e sAMbhaLatA nathI to mananuM kema sAMbhaLIe ? uThAvI gayuM koI ? praznakartA : jAte ja kheMcAyA. dAdAzrI : sApanA moDhAmAM pese, tene koI zuM kare ? manane kahI devuM ke 'tuM have phasAvIza to huM so rUpiyAno Aptaputrone huM AIskrIma khavaDAvIza ke jamADIza'. to pachI nahIM kare tevuM. eka bhUle so rUpiyAno daMDa ! praznakartA : eTale tyAre ja mahIM thayuM ke A khoTuM che, to ya e bAju jatuM rahyuM. mananuM mAnI lIdhuM e vakhate. dAdAzrI : to pachI have khoTuM thayuM e jANe che. uparathI dariyAmAM Page #90 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 123 122 samajathI prApta brahmacarya DUbI javAze ne marI javAze evuM jANe, chatAM ya koI jAya to ene kaMI dariyo nA kahe ? dariyo to kaheze, "Aya bhaI, huM to moTA peTano chuM. bahu jaNane samAvI lIdhA che.' praznakartA : chellA eka varSathI huM rejhisTa karyA karato hato. dAdAzrI : mana to bahu majabUta che, paNa tArI jAta nabaLI hoya to pharI paiNI jAya. praznakartA : AvuM bane, te mana majabUta kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : mANasa e nabaLo ja kahevAyane badho ! mana nabaLuM nA kahevAya. mana ulaTuM ene kheMcI gayuM. mana to jabaruM kahevAya. praznakartA : AmAM AnA kesamAM tame manane "jabaruM' kahyuM ane mANasa 'nabaLo' kahyo. eTale mANasa eTale koNa nabaLuM kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : ahaMkAra ane buddhi nabaLA. AmAM kharuM gavarmenTanuM rAja che, te AmAM buddhi ne ahaMkAranuM che. te emAM mananuM rAja thaI jAya eTale khalAsa. mananuM to pArlAmenTarI paddhatithI, eno eka rola che khAlI. te vaLI buddhi mAne-svIkAra kare, to ahaMkAra sahI kare. nahIM to tyAM sudhI sahIe nA thAya. praznakartA: Ama ekalA sUI gayA hoya ne, to pelA vicAro phUTe ke AvuM bane to ? AvI rIte A viSaya bhogavAya to ? pachI mane e vakhate navAI lAge ke ApaNe to brahmacarya pALavuM che ne A badhuM phUTayuM kaMIthI ? te A game kharA vicAro. dAdAzrI : phUTe teno vAMdho nahIM, paNa e to tane game che ? praznakartA : e ko'kane to gamatA haze ne aMdarathI ? dAdAzrI : oho, tAre ko'kanI joDe levAdevA che ?! praznakartA : e jene game, ene ya kADhavo ja paDaze ne ! samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : ene vaDhavAnuM. 'ahIM zI rIte dhamAla mAMDI che amAre ghera ? amArA pavitra gharamAM, homamAM ?" praznakartA : tyAre enI davA zuM ? dAdAzrI : tAre davA karIne kAma zuM che ? praznakartA : paNa A to bahu moTo roga che. A to pachI pAchuM e mATalImAM bilADI pachI moTuM ghAle ne, e laIne pharavuM paDe pachI peluM. dAdAzrI : e to chUTako ja nahIM ne ! pachI to koNa kADhI Ape ? calI gaI A AkhI jIMdagI ! AvI phasAyA bhaI, AvI phasAyA. du:kha gamatuM hoya to, pachI eno upAya ja nahIM ne ! praznakartA : duHkha nathI gamatuM. paNa pelo viSayano InTaresTa game che, e duHkha kyAM che? dAdAzrI : nahIM, e enuM phaLa ja duHkha Ave ne ! jenuM phaLa duHkha Ave, e vastu gamavI nA joIe. e du:kha ja che. praznakartA vicAro Avo AvI gayA, pachI saheje ya nA game ke A vicAro kema AvyA AvAM ? dAdAzrI : e to mATalImAM moTuM ghAlyA pachI ne ? phasAyA pachI AvavAnA vicAro ! are, eka phero vicArone ukheDIne-kADhI nAkhIne, A badhA ya loko pasyA ja che ne,' kahIe. praznakartA : paiNavAnA vicAra AvatA hoya to sAruM, eka phero paiNI nAkhIe. A to viSayanA vicAra Ave che. AmAM jokhamadArI keTalI paNa !! pachI evo vicAra Ave ke dAdA to kahe che ke AvuM calAvI nahIM le, to zuM thaze mAruM ? - dAdAzrI : zuM thavAnuM che ? A narmadAno golDana brIja paDI gayo kaMI ? golDana brIja bAMdhanArA jatAM rahyAM, badhA ya jatAM rahyAM ! thavAnuM che zuM? paDI javAnuM che ? ApaNI taiyArI joIe. Page #91 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 125 124 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : paNa taiyArImAM aMdara pola bahu vAge che. saMjoga bhegA nA thAya tyAM sudhI sAruM, paNa bhegA thAya eTale badho mAla nIkaLe che. dAdAzrI : nA, paNa e to A vAta tuM karuM ne, te badhAne mATe nathI. A tArA ekalAne mATe. koInI vAta che nahIM, tAre anukuLa hoya, te pramANe karI nAkhavAnuM eTale bhAMjagaDa maTI. pachI bIjAnI bhAMjagaDa nahIM. A to bIjAnA mana bagaDe pAchA. thAya pachI zuM ? gamatuM hoya tyAre. game tyAM sudhI ApaNe bolAya nahIM. dhaNI ya kahe, game che ane gamanAro kahe, game che. beu Ama bole, to pachI thAya zuM ? praznakartA : gamatAne uDADavuM paDaze ne ? dAdAzrI : A to gamanAro kahe ke "mane game che' ane dhaNI kahe, 'nathI gamatuM.' to e bene saMgharSa hoya to uDADI zakIe. A to saMgharSa nathI, eka mata che, pachI zuM uDADavuM ?! miyAM-bIbI rAjI, to kyA karegA miyAMkAjI. pachI kAjIsAheba zuM kare ?! praznakartA : paNa phasAvuM to gamatuM nathI mane. e viSayamAM phasAvuM, e mane nathI gamatuM. dAdAzrI : jo have zuM bole che, pahelAM zuM bolato hato hamaNe ? praznakartA : e vicAro Ave che e game che, e eTalo samaya ja paNa pachI.... - dAdAzrI : ApaghAta karavo game che paNa maravuM nathI ! eka dahADo karI to jo ! praznakartA : e jokhamadArI. e mAra khAvo paDe ne badho. A koI vakhata Ama. pachI evo vicAra Ave ke A pudgalanA phorsane lIdhe AvuM thatuM haze eTale ApaNe A pudgalano phorsa ocho karIe, khAvAnuM ochuM karI daIe. eno koI rasto batAvo. dAdAzrI : paNa temAM tAre zuM emAM ? tane nA gamatuM hoya to rasto samajathI prApta brahmacarya batADAya, tane to game che ne ! praznakartA H evuM satata nA game. e vicAra Ave ne, to thoDo samaya ja game che. pachI evuM gamatuM haze ?! dAdAzrI : nA, nA. game eTale sAIna thaI gaIne thoDIvAra. tuM virodhI hoya to vAta kAmanI. praznakartA : AkhA covIsa kalAkamAM huM virodhI ja chuM, paNa pelA saMjoga evA bhegA thAya ne vicAro phuTe to eka thoDIka, eka miniTa mATe gamI jAya ke A vicAro sArA che. dAdAzrI : miniTa mATe ja loka paiNI gayelAM. praznakartA : Akho dahADo huM ophisamAM 'dAdA, mane brahmacarya pALavAnI zakti Apo" evuM mAMgyA ja karuM chuM. dAdAzrI : hA, paNa mAMgyo karane pachI. paNa game teno vAMdho nahIM ne ! mahIM kharAMne, AvA vyApArI kharAM ne ! dareka jAtanA vepArI hoya ne ! khoTa khAya evA vepArI ! ko'ka phero DUbI jAya temAM zuM vAMdho ? praznakartA: paNa je pelo ekkekTa dAkhalo, Apo cho ne, ke bhaI, eka phera tuM nadImAM DUbI jaIza to ? to pelo vicAra karato thaI jAya ke sAluM eka phera viSayamAM slipa thaIza to ? - dAdAzrI : nA, paNa bIjI vAra ene jAgRti rahe ne ! so dahADA taryA paNa eka dahADo DUbI gayA eTale nakAmuM ja ! gayA avatAranI mA choDI ya thAya. jevo RNa baMdhAyo hoya evuM thAya. kAkI thAya, mAmI thAya, mAsI thAya, vahu paNa thAya. evuM badhuM thAya !mA hoya to A avatAramAM vahu thAya to vairAga nA Ave ? evuM samajavAnuM ! praznakartA : kusaMganuM vAtAvaraNa che tyAM sudhI Ano niveDo nathI. dAdAzrI : A satsaMgathI niveDo Ave ja che ne ! ApaNI mahenata Page #92 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 126 samajathI prApta brahmacarya badhI dhULadhANI karI nAkhe kusaMga. praznakartA : kusaMgamAM mAla phUTe che. dAdAzrI : kusaMganI gaMdha ja evI. kusaMgamAM javAnuM thAya to ya pratikramaNa karavuM paDe. praznakartA : eTale eka bAju viSaya vicAro game ane eka bAju nA ya game evuM bane thAya che. dAdAzrI : e cAle nahIM evuM, brahmacArI rahevuM hoya to. nahIM to paiNI jAva. bahu lUjha thatuM hoya to majabUta karI nAkha have ! evuM pUchaje ne badhuM vAtacIta karaje ! buddhinI vakIlAto, vagara phIe... praznakartA : prakRti eno svabhAva tarata choDe nahIM ne, haju ekadama. vicAro ne e badhuM thoDuM thoDuM rahe. dAdAzrI : bahu nahIMne paNa ! praznakartA : nA, paNa haju vicAro Ave to ApaNe pAchuM aMdarathI pola paNa marAve che. dAdAzrI : jJAna hAjara tarata thaI jAya ne ! praznakartA: jJAna hAjara rahe, paNa enA para thoDo vizvAsa mUkavA jaIe ne, A vicAra Avyo ke ApaNane zuM vAMdho che ? dAdAzrI : evuM kahe ?! ene oLakhuM nahIM ke A koNa kahe che te ? vakIla bole che evuM nA jANuM ? praznakartA H aMdara vakIla evuM kahe. dAdAzrI : eTale to tAre majhA thaI gaI ne (!) samajathI prApta brahmacarya 127 praznakartA : enuM to nA manAya. dAdAzrI : koI dahADo manAtuM haze te vakIlanuM? tuM mAnuM chuM ? sAruM lAge che e ? praznakartA : evA vicAra Ave ne to tarata ukheDIne pheMkI devAnA, enA badale, 'joIe zuM thAya che, haju vicAra Avyo che ne !" evuM vakIla batAve. dAdAzrI : tyAre to nirAMte paiNAvI de. tAre to vAMdho nahIM, paNavAnA sIgnala paDI gayA ! praznakartA H nA joIe evuM, paNa e manamAM evuM thAya ke vicArane ukheDI ne tarata pheMkI devAnuM dAdA kema kahetA haze ? dAdAzrI : e tAro mAla che ne ! vadha viSayonI lIMkothI e...... game tyAM AgaLa beThA hoya ne, agara to nokarI karatAM navarA paDyA to ya A karyA karavuM. ophisamAM beThA hoya ne navarA paDyA to ya nizcaya majabuta karIe thoDIvAra, be zabda vAMcI laIe to ya zuM vAra AmAM ? eTale lIMka tUTI jAya badhI. je aMdara lIMko cAle che ne e tUTI jAya badhI. vera-vikhera thaI jAya, lIMko vera-vikhera karavAnI che. lIMkothI viSaya vadhe che. mahIM AnaMda thAya chene, e sAmAyika-pratikramaNa karo cho te ghaDIe ? jANe mukta hoya evuM lAgyA kare ne ? praznakartA : A je badhuM citta bhaTakatuM hatuM, mana je vicAra karatuM hatuM e badhuM baMdha thaI jAya, tyAM thaMbhI jAya che badhI vastuo. dAdAzrI : badhuM thaMbhI jAya. evuM che ne tame bIjI goThavaNI karo to viSaya to cheTo Ubho rahe evo che bicAro. e to bhaDake bicAro. jema sArA mANaso ahIM UbhA hoya, te ghaDIe halakI nAtanA loka nA Page #93 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 129 samajathI prApta brahmacarya atyAre TAIma kADhI nAkho. polIsavALo vAMko vaLe to 'sAheba, salAma' karIne ekavAra khasI javuM ne pachI e joI levAya. pachI enI pAchaLa paDIzuM. paNa atyAre vaDhIe to cAle nahIM. atyAre ApaNe hAthamAM AvI gayA, pakaDAI gayA eTale ? kaLAthI kAma levuM paDe ane mana jaDa che. jaDa che eTale koIne gAMThatuM nathI ne, ApaNe kaLAthI laIe eTale ThekANe AvI jAya ! 128 samajathI prApta brahmacarya UbhA rahe, evI rIte. praznakartA : A tame jyArathI be divasathI bolyA cho ne, to Ama jANe parAkrama jevuM UbhuM thaI gayuM che ke Ama jeTalI polaMpolo cAlatI hatI, e badhI baMdha thaI gaI che. dAdAzrI : hA, baMdha thaI jAya. e to dAdAnA A zabdo, polaMpola badhuM baMdha thaI jAya. tame sAcavI rAkho to bahu sarasa che. mahIM cokkasa ne AmAM ya cokkasa, paNa eTaluM jo AmAM cokkasa rahe to AmAM pharsTakalAsa thaI jAya. e AvaData che ne eka jAtanI ! ane kahyA pramANe karIe to. pharI pharI tAla nahIM paDe A. chellI A taka che. uThAvI lyo A chellI taka. kaLAthI kAma kADho ! kaMI pheraphAra thAya to mane kAgaLa lakhIne ciThThI ApI devI. bIjI bAbatanI bhUlo badhI calAvI levAya. bIjI badhI jAtanI bhUlo nA calAvI laIe to mANasa muzkelImAM mUkAya, e mUMjhAI jAya bicAro. khAvAnI ja muzkelI. khAvAnuM pAchuM khAvA nA de. Ama nA khavAya ne tyAre zuM kare ? kUvAmAM paDe kaMI ? ApaNe ahIM badhI chUTa ApI. khAje bA, AIskrIma ya khAje. tArA manane jema tema karIne manAvaje. praznakartA e manane e rIte manAve eTale pUruM thaI jAya ? dAdAzrI : nA, pUruM nA thaI jAya. praznakartA : to ? dAdAzrI : ApaNo dA'Do nIkaLI jAyane atyAre. praznakartA : eTale khAlI saMtoSa khAtara. paNa AgaLa upara pAchuM karavuM to paDe ne ? dAdAzrI : e to pharI pAchuM vaLI breka pADIe pAchI. jarA atyAranI ghaDI gaI. eTale pachI enI pAchaLa saMco laIne pharI vaLIe. pharI Avo tAla khAya nahIM Avo ane saraLa rIte, ochI mahenate ane AnaMdapUrvaka pAcho. pelA tapa karavAnAM, te kaThora tapa badhAM. sahana ja nA thAya, jotAM ja cItarI caDhe. ApaNuM jJAna che eTale ApaNe to vAMdho ja nahIM. jJAna to manane jue che ke mana zuM kare che ne zuM nahIM ? evuM joI zake evuM che. eTale bahAra kramika mArgamAM che te mananI upAdhi ane goLIo khavaDAvavI paDe. chatAM ya ApaNe ya koI vakhata khavaDAvavI paDe to khavaDAvI devI. eTale ApaNe kahIene ke goLIo khavaDAvIne kAma laI levuM. eka ja bAbata phAvatI nathI evuM ene che nahIM. ene to badhI bAbata, jemAM TesTa paDe, temAM phAve ! Page #94 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 131 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA thaI javuM joIe ke karI nAkhavuM joIe ? dAdAzrI : thaI javuM joIe. A mArga evo che ke tamAre khAlI karavAnuM nahIM rahe. enI meLe khAlI thayA kare. amArI AjJAmAM raho eTale khAlI thayA kare. nahIM to mata paDe lapaTuM ! praznakartA: ApaNe niyama goThavyo hoya ke be ja roTalI khAvI che. pachI mananA kahyA pramANe cAlIe, to e niyama tUTI jAya evuM bane ne ? dAdAzrI : mananA kahyA pramANe calAya ja nahIM. mananuM kahyuM jo ApaNA jJAna pramANe cAlatuM hoya, to eTaluM eDajasTa (goThavaNI) karI levAya. ApaNA jJAnanI viruddha cAle to baMdha karI devAya. praznakartA : eTale mananA kahyA pramANe cAle, to niyama tUTe evuM kharuM ne ? dAdAzrI : rahyo ja kyAM te niyama ? ko'kanAmAM DahApaNa vAparavuM vacce te. paNa ApaNe to jJAna pramANe cAlavuM che. chatAM mana paNa niyamavALuM che. enAthI to A jagatanA loko bahu sArI rIte rahI zake che. ta calAya, matatA kahyA pramANe ! jJAtathI karo svaccha mata ! dAdAzrI : mane bagaDe che haju ? praznakartA : bagaDe che. dAdAzrI : tArI dukAnamAM mAla hoya tyAM sudhI bagaDe. paNa have mAla haze te pachI dhoI nAkho ene. dhoIne cokhkho karo ke nA karo ? praznakartA : hA, karuM. praznakartA : ajJAnatA hoya to paNa niyama nakkI kare to ekkekTa (barAbara) e pramANe cAlyA kare ne ? dAdAzrI : e nakkI kare ke mAre niyamathI ja cAlavuM che, eTale niyamathI ja cAle. pachI buddhi Dakhala kare to evuM thaI jAya che. gADI niyamamAM nA hoya to zuM thAya ? praznakartA : hA. vyavahAra cuMthAI jAya badho. dAdAzrI : eTale svastha jIvana. mana paNa bagaDe nahIM kyAreya ! deha to bagaDe ja nahIM paNa mana paNa bagaDe nahIM ane bagaDe to tarata ja dho dho karIne sApha karIne IstrI karIne UMcuM mUkI devuM. jyAM jJAna che, tyAM saMsArano eka vicAra na Avavo joIe. amane saMsArano eka vicAra nathI Avato. ane strIno, A badhI strIo beThI che paNa amane strIsaMbaMdhI vicAra nathI Avato. eTale badhuM khAlI thaI javuM joIe. dAdAzrI : amAruM mana ghaNuM ya kahe ke A khAva, A khAva, paNa nahIM. nahIM to mana lapaTuM paDI jAya. vAra nA lAge. ane lapaTo paDI gayo tene Akho dahADo kakaLATa hoya. dayAjanaka sthiti ! 'tuM' to caMdrezane raDAvanAro mANasa. 'tuM' kaMI jevo tevo mANasa chuM ? e pachI A mana Page #95 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 132 samajathI prApta brahmacarya to enuM caMdrazanuM, ApaNe zuM levAdevA ? have ApaNe zuddhAtmA. praznakartA : cokkasa. dAdAzrI : mana e caMdrazanuM. e mananA kahyA pramANe, ApaNe nahIM cAlavAnuM. mananA kahyA pramANe cAlene, enuM brahmacarya Take nahIM, kazuM ya Take nahIM. UlaTuM abrahmacarya thAya. manane ne ApaNe zuM levAdevA ? have ko'kanA dAgInA paDyA hoya, mana kahe ke koI che nahIM, laI lo ne. paNa ApaNe samajavuM joIe. potAnuM calaNa nA rahe, to mana caDhI bese. praznakartA : potAne samajAya kharuM ke A be kalAka nakAmA jatA rahyA, dAdAzrI : jatA rahyA, e judI vastu che. e to ajAgRtine kAraNe. paNa to ya mana caDhI bese nahIM. virodhItA pakSakAra !(?). praznakartA H eka vAra jyAre ame satsaMgamAMthI UThIne bahAra cA pIvA gayelA tyAre Ape kaheluM ke bIjI badhI bAbatamAM AvuM chUTuM rAkhavuM ane eka tamAre brahmacaryanI bAbatamAM ja mananuM nA mAnavuM. dAdAzrI : ne bIjI bAbatamAM mAnavuM ? eTale tamane TesTa paDato hoya to mAno ne ! mAre zuM vAMdho che ? e to brahmacaryamAM mAnazo to ya mAre vAMdho nathI. A to brahmacarya upara tame sTroMga (draDha) raho, eTalA mATe Ama kahevA mAguM chuM. beyane nukasAna na kare, evA hetuthI evuM bolelo. tethI karIne bIjA upara tame ema kaho ke mananuM bIjuM nirAMte mAnajo. tamAruM kAma thaI gayuM (!) zuM kADhazo AmAM ? kevI vakIlAta karo cho ? praznakartA : potAnI laoN-buka (kAyadApothI)mAM laI javAya che ! dAdAzrI : laoN-buka to enI e ja. A pakSakAra kevA mANasa che? samajathI prApta brahmacarya 133 virodhInA pakSakAra ! have DAhyA thaI jAva. nahIM to nahIM cAle A duniyAmAM. mata calAve mAMharA lagI... juo ne cAraso varSa upara kabIre kahyuM, kevo e DAhyo mANasa ! kahe che, "manakA calatA tana cale, tAkA sarvasva jAya.' DAhyo nahIM kabIro ? ane A to mananA kahyA pramANe cAlyA kare. mane kahe ke "Ane paiNo." to paiNI javuM ? praznakartA : nA. evuM nA thAya. dAdAzrI : te haju to bolaze. evuM bolaze te ghaDIe zuM karazo tame ? brahmacarya vrata pALavuM hoya to sTroMga rahevuM paDe. mana to evuM ya bole ane tamane hau bolAvaze. tethI huM kaheto hato ne ke kAle savAre tame nAsI hau jazo. enuM zuM kAraNa ? mananA kahyA pramANe cAlanArAno bharoso ja zuM ? kAraNa ke tamAruM potAnuM ja calaNa nathI. potAnA calaNavALo evuM nA kare. tethI huM tamane kaheto hato ke mahIM mane kaheze, 'haju to A choDI sarasa che, ne have vAMdho nathI. A dAdAjInuM AtmajJAna maLI gayuM ApaNane. have kazuM rahyuM nathI. pelAe zAdI karI che, have khAsa pUrAvAmAM kaMI khUTatuM nathI. cAlo ne, A have AmAM kyAM bhUla thaI gaI pAchI ?! pAcho phAdharano AzIrvAda varasaze.' evuM nahIM kaheze ane jo tuM bhUlo paDIza to te DheDaphajeto karaze. ame to tamane kahIe ke nAsI jazo. tyAre tuM kahe, 'nAsIne ame kyAM jaIe ?" paNa zenA AdhAre nAsyA vagara nahIM raho tame ? kAraNa ke mananA kahyA pramANe tame cAlo cho. praznakartA: have ame ahIMthI kyAMya nAsI nA jaIe. dAdAzrI : are, paNa mananA kahyA pramANe cAlanAro mANasa ahIMthI nA jAya, e kaI geranTInA AdhAre ? are, lo, huM tane be dahADA jarA pANI halAvuM. are, chabachabiyAM karuM ne, to parama dahADe ja tuM jato rahe ! e to tane khabara ja nathI. tamArA mananAM zuM ThekANAM ? bilakula ThekANA Page #96 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 134 samajathI prApta brahmacarya vagaranAM mana. potAnA senTaramAM ja UbhuM rahyuM nathI. mananA kahyA pramANe to cAlo cho haju. A 'nathI nAsI javuM, nathI nAsI javuM', e kahevA pUratuM ja. paNa haju to zuM ya karazo ? e to koNa sTroMga mANasa kahevAya ke je koInuM ya mAne nahIM. mananuM ke buddhinuM ke ahaMkAranuM ke koI bhagavAna Ave, tenuM ya nA mAne. tamAruM te zuM gajuM ? tuM mane kaheto hato ke, 'smazAnamAM jAuM to mana vAMdho nathI uThAvatuM' paNa bIje kyAMka mana vAMdho UThAve ke tyAM nahIM javAnuM, to nA jAya ! praznakartA : pote ahIMyA dAdA pAse AvIne je nizcaya karyo che, e bAbatamAM mananuM koI divasa sAMbhaLyuM nathI. dAdAzrI : ema ? savaLuM mana bole kharuM ? praznakartA : hA, savaLuM bole che. dAdAzrI : avaLuM bolyuM nathI eTale. thoDuMghaNuM avaLuM bole, tene tame gAMTho nahIM. paNa sAta dahADA sudhI tamane choDe nahIM ane e pAchuM mahIM kaheze, 'A jJAna badhuM maLI gayuM che, have vAMdho nathI, lokomAM ApaNI velyU bahu khUba che. Ama che, tema che.' badhuM samajAvI karI calAve ApaNane ! praznakartA : evuM nA thAya have. dAdAzrI : tethI ame A tamane pAchaLa bahu nukasAna nA thAya eTalA sAruM tamane cetavIne kahIe ke AmAM 'manakA calatA' choDI do chAnAmAnAM, tamArA svataMtra nizcayathI jIvo. mananI jarUra hoya to ApaNe levuM ane jarUra nA hoya to thayuM, bAjue rAkho ene. paNa A mana to paMdara paMdara dahADA sudhI pheravIne pachI paiNAve. moTA moTA saMto ya bhaDakI gayelA, to tamAruM to zuM gajuM ? dhyeyato ja tizcaya ! brahmacArI thavAno tAro nizcaya che A to ! paNa A to mananA kahevA pramANe tuM badhuM kare che. eTale tAruM badhuM che ja kyAM ? e to tArA samajathI prApta brahmacarya 135 'mane' kahyuM hatuM, e pramANe A paiNavAmAM majhA nathI. te AvuM badhuM tArA 'mane' tane kahyuM hatuM ne teM eksepTa karyuM hatuM. praznakartA : have nizcaya thayone paNa ? dAdAzrI : have nizcaya tAro. jo ene tuM nakkI kare ke have A mAro nizcaya. pachI manane kahI daIe ke 'have jo tuM ADuM karaze, to tArI vAta tuM jANuM !' have to ApaNA siddhAMta tarIke svIkArIe, eTale ApaNo ja kahevAya e nizcaya. praznakartA : siddhAMta tarIke svIkAryA pachI 'ApaNo', nahIM to 'mana'no ? dAdAzrI : to bIjA kono ? eno ja che. 'ApaNuM' kyAM che ahIM A milakatamAM ? je ApaNI milakata hatI, te dabAvI pADI che. ne te ya ApaNI bhADAnI oraDImAM rahe che. te ya corI kare che pAcho uparathI ne ? ko'kanA ghara uparathI niLayAno TukaDo paDe ne to vAge to ya kazuM nA bolo. kAraNa ke tyAM mana kahe che ke 'kone kahIzuM ApaNe ?" e to enuM mana zIkhavADe che, e pramANe e bole che. ApaNe atyAre siddhAMta che, e pramANe mana cAlavuM joIe. mananuM kahyuM nA mAnavuM. sAmAyikamAM calaNa, matatuM ! praznakartA : sAmAyikamAM besavuM nA game. gullI mAravAnuM mana thaI jAya. dAdAzrI : mana bUmo pADe paNa tAre zI levA-devA ? tArA siddhAMtanI viruddha cAle che ? cAle che, to calaNa enuM che haju ya. e nA kahe to ApaNe zuM ? e to sAmAyika ja nA karavA de. praznakartA : pahelAM zarUAtamAM huM be-eka varSa regyulara sAmAyika karato hato. e mane gamatuM hatuM tyAre. dAdAzrI : te tuM 'gamatuM-nAgamatuM' e ja mArge che ne ? pAcho kahe Page #97 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 136 samajathI prApta brahmacarya che mane gamatuM hatuM ! mananuM mAne e mANasa ja nA kahevAya, e mazInarI nA kahevAya to bIjuM zuM kahevAya ? potAnuM calaNa nA hoya ? tame puruSa thayA ne ? satsaMgamAM AvavAnuM mana nA pADe to zuM kare ? tyAM mananuM mAno cho ? evuM mAno to pachI rakhaDI maryA ne ! rahyuM zuM che ? jAnavaro ya enuM mAne ne tame ya enuM mAno. ghaNI kharI vakhata mananA viruddha karo cho ke nahIM ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya 137 tame nA Apazo ! meM kahyuM, 'huM AzIrvAda nathI Apato. tamAro veSa dekhADuM chuM A !" atyArathI jo ceto nahIM ne potAnA hAthamAM lagAma lIdhI nahIM to khalAsa ! kyAM gADuM laI jAva cho ? tyAre kahe, 'baLada jyAM laI jAya tyAM !' baLada je dizAmAM jAya, e dizAmAM gADuM javA de koI ? baLada Ama jatA hoya to mArI ThokIne, game tema karIne, Ama laI le. potAnA dhArelA raste ja laI jAya ne ? praznakartA: dhArelA raste laI jAya. praznakartA : ghaNI vakhata. dAdAzrI : sAruM. mananA calAvyuM cAle, e to mikenikala kahevAya. peTrola mahIM purIe eTale mazIna cAlyA kare. tane ya evuM thAya che ? to to ApaNe nA paiNavuM hoya to ya paiNAvaDAve ! praznakartA : emAM evuM nA thAya. dAdAzrI : kevA mANasa cho te ? ApaNI IcchA pramANe nA cAlavA de. to pachI potAnuM calaNa ja nathI. praznakartA : sAmAyika karavAnI IcchA eTalI sTroMga nahIM. dAdAzrI o ho, to to A badho dharma karavAnI IcchA ja nathI. AmAM sTroMga nahIM ne pAcho ! sAmAyika eTale aDatAlIsa miniTanI vastu che. aDatAlIsa miniTamAM ThekANe bese nahIM, to A brahmacarya kema karIne paLAya ? enA karatAM chAnomAno paNI jAya to sAruM. dAdAzrI : ne A tame to baLadanA calAvyA gADAM calAvo cho. 'e A bAju jAya che to huM zuM karuM ?" kahe che ! to enA karatAM paiNo ne nirAMte ! gADuM A bAju jatuM hoya to artha ja nahIM ne ! nizcayabaLa che nahIM. potAnuM kazuM che nahIM. potAnI kazI lAyakAta che nahIM. tane zuM lAge che ? gADuM javA devuM ? praznakartA : nA javA devAya. dAdAzrI : to kema A gADAM jAya che ? praznakartA H Apa kaho cho ne tyAre khabara paDe che ke A mananA kahyA pramANe karyuM hatuM. nahIM to khabara ja nathI paDatI. dAdAzrI : hA, paNa khabara paDyA pachI DAhyo thAya ke nA thAya ? praznakartA : thAya. dAdAzrI : have pAchA tame parama dahADe evuM kahezo ke 'mane mahIMthI, evuM jAgyuM, eTale UThI gayo sAmAyika karatAM karatAM !" praznakartA : sAmAyika karavA besIe to majhA nathI AvatI. dAdAzrI : majhA nA AvatI hoya to eno vAMdho nahIM. paNa mananA kahyA pramANe kare, te nA calAvI levAya. praznakartA : paNa A majhA nA Ave, eTale evuM thAya ke have besavuM A brahmacarya pALe che, te brahmacarya eTale potAnuM nizcayabaLa. koI DagAve nahIM evuM. ko'kanA kahyAthI cAle e brahmacarya zI rIte pALe ? brahmacaryavALo to kevo hoya mANasa ? heya, sTroMga puruSa ! UMcA manobaLavALo ! e AvA te hotAM haze ? tethI to huM vAreghaDIe kahyuM chuM ke 'tame jatA rahezo, paiNazo." tyAre tame kaho cho ke evA AzIrvAda Page #98 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 138 nathI. dAdAzrI : paNa Ama 'mananA kahyA pramANe cAlavuM che' evI IcchA nahIM ne tArI ? praznakartA : A to have khabara paDI ne ! dAdAzrI : majhA nA Ave e judI vastu che. majhA to ApaNe jANIe ke Ane InTaresTa (rasa) bIjI jagyAe che ane AmAM InTaresTa ocho che. InTaresTa to ame karI ApIe. praznakartA : majhA nA Ave eTale mana batAve ke have jatAM rahIe. dAdAzrI : mananI e vAta huM karato nathI. majhA ne manane levAdevA nathI. samajathI prApta brahmacarya besavuM. praznakartA : majhA nA Ave to pachI evuM thAya ke sAmAyikamAM nathI dAdAzrI : majhA zAthI nathI AvatI, te huM jANuM chuM. praznakartA : mane sAmAyikamAM kazuM dekhAtuM ja nathI. dAdAzrI : zenuM dekhAya paNa, A badhAM locA vALe che tyAM ?! praznakartA : potAne khabara paDe ke A badhA locA vALelA che, tyAra pachI dekhAya ne ? dAdAzrI : nA, paNa pahelI to potAne samajaNa ja pahoMcI nathIne tyAM, te ene samajAya nahIM, tyAM sudhI dekhAya zI rIte ? A zuM vAta kahevA mAge che, te ja samajaNa pahoMcI nathI ne ? temAM dAkhalA ApuM chuM, gADAMno dAkhalo ApuM chuM, mikenikalano dAkhalo ApuM chuM, paNa ekuMya samajaNa pahoMcatI nathI mahIM. have zuM kare te ? praznakartA : philamanI jema dekhAvuM joIe ne ? dAdAzrI : zI rIte dekhe paNa ? tame jonAra nathI, gADAMnA mAlika samajathI prApta brahmacarya 139 nathI ne ? mAlika thAya to dekhAya. atyAre to tame baLadanA kahyA pramANe cAlo cho. te ene kazuM philama nA dekhAya. potAnA nizcayathI cAle tene dekhAya badhuM. praznakartA : sAmAyika karavAmAM InTaresTa nathI, eTale evuM thAya ne ? dAdAzrI : InTaresTa nA hoya tenuM calAvI levAya, AnuM nA calAvI levAya. AnAM jevI koI mUrkhAI karato haze ? tyAre zuM joI e karato haze ? praznakartA : 'AvuM huM karuM chuM' e haju khabara paDatI nathI, samajAtuM nathI. dAdAzrI : samajAtuM ja nathI, nahIM ? kyAre samajAze ? be-traNa avatAra pachI samajAze ? paiNe to pelI samajAve. samajAtuM ja nathI, kahe che ? A gADAMno dAkhalo Apyo, pachI nizcayabaLanI vAta karI. je ApaNuM dhAreluM nA karavA de, enuM kaMI manAya kharuM ? mA-bApanuM nathI mAnatA ne mananI vadhAre kiMmata gaNe che ema ? dekhAya. praznakartA : paNa mane sAmAyikamAM kazuM dekhAtuM ja nathI. dAdAzrI : zuM jovAnuM hoya, te dekhAya ? praznakartA : Apa kaho cho ne ke cAra varSa sudhInuM dekhAya badhuM. dAdAzrI : e evuM nA dekhAya. e to UMDA UtaravAnuM kahIe tyAre mananA kahevA pramANe cAle e badhA gADAM ja ne ?! pachI dekhAya zI rIte ? 'dekhanAro' judo hovo joIe, potAnA nizcayabaLavALo ! atyAra sudhI mananuM kaheluM ja kareluM. tene lIdhe e badhuM AvaraNa enuM AveluM. Page #99 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 140 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : sAmAyika karatA hoya ane sAmAyika karavAnuM mana nA pADe tyAM udayakarma kharo ? dAdAzrI : udayakarma kyAre kahevAya ke nizcaya hovA chatAM nizcayane jhaMpavA nA de, tyAre udayakarma kahevAya. praznakartA : vicAra udayakarmane AdhIna to phUTatAM nathI ne ? dAdAzrI : paNa ApaNo nizcaya hoya to sAmAyika karavuM. nA nizcaya hoya, mahIM prakRtine anukULa nA AvatuM hoya, to nahIM karavuM. bAkI vicAra e udayakarmane AdhIna thAya che. 'te ApaNe jovuM,' e ApaNA puruSArthanI vAta che. vicAro joIe to, e udayakarma pUruM thaI gayuM tyAM. joIe eTale khalAsa ! emAM pariNamIe eTale udayakarma zaru thaI gayuM ! dhyeya pramANe hAMko.... haju nAnI bAbatamAM, eka nakkI karyuM ke mananuM nathI mAnavuM eTale kAmanuM hoya eTaluM mAnavuM ne nA kAmanuM hoya e nahIM. gADuM ApaNA dhAryA raste jatuM hoya to ApaNe cAlavA devuM. ane pachI Ama pharatuM hoya to ApaNe dhyeya pramANe calAvavuM. dareka bAbatamAM evuM karavAnuM hoya. A to kaheze, e A bAju doDe che. have huM zuM karuM ? have e gADAMvALAne koI gharamAM pesavA de ? praznakartA: nA. paNa mahIM gamatI hoya e vastu karavAnI nahIM ? dAdAzrI : kone gamatuM hoya e karavAnuM ? A huM nAsto nathI karato. paNa nA gamatuM rAkhavAnuM ene. praznakartA : ame to savAre UThIne tamArI pAse AvavAnuM evuM rAkhIe. bIjo koI nizcaya nahIM. amuka bAbatomAM mana kahe ema mAnavuM. vyavahAra je mAnya hoya ema. dAdAzrI : ApaNA kahyA pramANe cAlavuM. ApaNe jarUra hoya, samajathI prApta brahmacarya 141 ApaNo dhyeya hoya, e pramANe cAlavuM. ApaNe borasada javA nIkaLyA, pachI aDadho mAIla cAlyA, pachI mana kaheze, 'Aje rahevA done !' eTale pAcho phare A to. to tyAM pAchuM nA pharavuM. loko ya zuM kahe ? akkala vagaranAM cho ke zuM ? jaIne pAchA AvyA. tamAruM ThekANuM nahIM ke zuM ? evuM kahe ke nA kahe loko ? mokSe javAno nizcaya kharo ke tAro ? emAM kazuM ADuM Ave to? mana mahIM bUmAbUma kare to ? praznakartA : to ya nizcaya nA Dage. dAdAzrI : enuM nAma mANasa kahevAya. Amane kurakuriyAne zuM karavAnAM badhAM ne ? tane A badhI vAto samajAya ? praznakartA : thoDuM thoDuM samajAya che. mane to evuM ja lAge che ke mAro nizcaya che. dAdAzrI : zAno nizcaya te ? mananA kahyA pramANe cAle che te ! nizcayavALAne AvuM mana hotuM haze ? mana hoya paNa helpIMga hoya, phakta potAne jarUriyAta puratuM ja. jema baLada hoya, te potAnA dhaNInA kahyA pramANe cAle ne ! paNa ApaNe Ama javuM hoya ne e Ama jatA hoya to ? cho te bUmo pADe ! praznakartA: manane InTaresTa nA paDe, to e bUmo to pADene ? dAdAzrI : chone bUmo pADe te ! badhAMyane evuM bUmo pADe. mana to bUmo pADe. e to TAIma thAya eTale bUmo pADe. bUmo pADe, tethI zuM kazuM dAvA mAMDavAnA che? ghaDIvAra pachI pAchuM kazuM ya nahIM, enI mudata pUrI thAya eTale. pachI Akho dahADo bUma nA pADe. jo mahIM tuM phasAyo to phasAyo. nahIM to nA phasAyo to pachI kazuM ya nahIM. tuM sTroMga rahe ne ! praznakartA : keTalIka vakhata sTroMga rahevAya. dAdAzrI : tAruM mana to zuM kaheze, 'A bhaNatare ya pUruM nathI karavuM. Page #100 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 142 samajathI prApta brahmacarya evuM kahe to evuM karavuM? praznakartA : dAdA kahe evuM karuM. dAdAzrI : ame kaMI tAruM ahita karIe? tame tamArI jAtanuM ahita karo paNa amArAthI thAya nahIM ne ? amArA TacamAM AvyA eTale tamAruM hita ja karavA mATe ame badhI davA ApI cUkIe. chatAM ya mana nA sudhare, to pachI e eno hisAba. badhA prakAranI davAo ApIe ane davAo to badhuM maTI jAya evI ApIe. chatAM ya pote jo ADo hoya to pIve ja nahIM ne ! praznakartA: nAka dabAvIne reDI dejo. dAdAzrI : nAka koNa dabAve ? A kaMI nAka dabAvavAthI nathI thAya evuM. tuM kaheto na hato ke mane skUlamAM javAnuM nathI gamatuM. nizcaya to hovo joIe ne ke mAre skUla pUrI karavI che. pachI Ama karavuM che, tema karavuM che. pachI badhAMnI joDe kAyama saMgamAM rahevuM che. brahmacarya pALavuM che. evI ApaNI yojanA hoya. A to vagara yojanAe jIvana jIvavuM, eno zo artha ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya 143 nabhAvI zakAya ! bIjAM karmo choDe ja nahIM ne ? praznakartA : amane A lagnavALuM karma pAchaLa nA paDe ? dAdAzrI : bahu cIkaNuM hoya to pAchaLa paDe. ane te cIkaNuM hoya to ApaNane pahelethI khabara paDe. enI gaMdha AvI jAya. paNa e to jJAnathI rAge paDI jAya. ApaNuM A jJAna evuM che ke e karmane patAvI zake. paNa A bIjAM karmo to nA paDe ne ! A to pelA nAnAM nAnAM chokarAoe nakkI karyuM che ne ke "amAre paiNavuM nathI." enA jevI vAto. keTaluMka samajyA vagara hAMkaye rAkhe. nahIM paNo teno vAMdho nathI. 'vyavasthita'mAM hoya ane nA paiNe to amane vAMdho nathI. paNa 'vyavasthita'mAM nA hoya ane pAchaLa moTI uMmare bumAbuma kare ke huM paiNyA vagara rahI gayo, to koNa kanyA Ape ? pelo che te brahmacarya pALI zake. kAraNa ke e mananuM mAnato ja nathI. bilakule ya nahIM ne ! mananuM kazuM ya mAnavuM nA joIe. ApaNo abhiprAya ja mAnavAno ne mananuM thoDuMka mAnIe eTale bIjI vakhata caDhI bese pachI to. praznakartA : mana batAve ke satsaMgamAM besavuM che to ? dAdAzrI : e ApaNane abhiprAya rahyA ja karato hoya to karavuM. ApaNA abhiprAyamAM hoya to karavuM. abhiprAya nA hoya to nahIM. praznakartA : mAruM mana AvuM badhuM batAve ke satsaMgamAM besavuM che, dAdA pAse javuM che. praznakartA : kaoNlejamAM javAnuM to, mane paNa nathI gamatuM. dAdAzrI : kaoNlejamAM javuM ja paDe ne ! badhAnA mananuM samAdhAna karavuM ja joIe ne ? phAdhara-madhara, emanA mananuM samAdhAna karIne mokSe javAnuM. nahIM to tuM zI rIte mokSe jauM ? ema gharamAMthI baLavo karIne nAsI gayA eTale thaI gayuM ?! to kaMI mokSa thaI jAya ? eTale tarachoDa nA vAgavI joIe. praznakartA : A brahmacaryanI bAbatamAM karmano siddhAMta evo kharo ? dAdAzrI : brahmacarya ekaluM tame nabhAvI zako. A koIe nakkI karyuM hoya ke nathI paiNavuM, to nabhAvI zako. ApaNuM jJAna evuM che, to dAdAzrI : mAruM kahevAnuM ke ApaNA abhiprAya pramANe jo mana thatuM hoya to ApaNane eksepTa che. praznakartA: mAre e to che ja aMdara ke jJAnI puruSanA satsaMgamAM ja paDI rahevuM che. dAdAzrI : e badhuM kharuM. e abhiprAyavALuM mana thaI jAya to sAruM, paNa mana jyAre sAmuM paDaze, te ghaDIe tane DubADI deze. Page #101 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 144 samajathI prApta brahmacarya ta cAle vevarIMga mAIDa AmAM... ApaNuM AjanuM jJAna brahmacarya pALavAnuM hoya ane gayA vakhatanuM jJAna brahmacarya pALavAnI hA pADe. cha mahinA pachI pAchuM navI ja jAtanuM bole, "paiNavuM joIe.' evuM, mananI sthiti eka nA hoya koI dahADo ya, DAmADoLa hoya, virodhAbhAsavALI hoya. praznakartA cha mahinA pachI mana paiNavAnuM batAve, juduM juduM batAve. to amuka samaya Avo jJAnamAM jAya to pachI mana ekadhAruM batAvatuM thaI jAya ne ? pachI ADuMavaLuM batAvatuM baMdha nA thaI jAya ? dAdAzrI : nA, evuM nA thAya, paiDo thAya to ya paiNavAnuM kahe ne ! pote manane kahe ya kharo ke 'A uMmara thaI, chAno besa !' eTale mananuM ThekANuM nathI. ema samajIne manamAM bhaLavAnuM ja nahIM. ApaNA abhiprAyane mAphaka hoya eTaluM mana eksepTeDa. jayAM siddhAMta che brahmacaryato... praznakartA : AmAM ApaNe siddhAMta kayo kahevo ? dAdAzrI : ApaNe je nakkI karyuM ke bhAI, ApaNe brahmacarya pALavuM che. eTale pachI mananuM sAMbhaLavuM joIe ? praznakartA : pachI e bAbatamAM nathI ja sAMbhaLavuM. dAdAzrI : nathI ja sAMbhaLavuM. e to bahu DahApaNanI vAta kare che. paNa cha mahinA jo evuM ne evuM nIkaLe to tuM zuM kare ? cheda ja nA mUke tyAM. have e jyAre cheda evA mUke tyAre dehe the cheDo nahIM mUke. dehe ya enI tarapha vaLI jaze. eTale badhAM eka bAju thaI jaze. te tane pheMkI deze. eTale kahI ja devAnuM, ATalI bAbata amArA kAyadAnI bahAra tAre sTeja paNa kazuM karavuM nahIM. praznakartA: to pachI tyAM sTepa kevI rIte mAMDavuM ? dAdAzrI : eTale sTroMga rahejo. huM kahuM chuM ke AvuM nIkaLe to tame samajathI prApta brahmacarya 145 nAnAmAM nAnI bAbata mATe paNa sTroMga rahejo. heja paNa gaLI jazo to e tamane pheMkI deze, eTale ene kahI devAnuM ke ATalI bAbatamAM tAre amArA kAyadAnI bahAra sTeja paNa juduM cAlavuM nahIM. nAnAmAM nAnI bAbatamAM jAgRti rAkho. nahIM to pachI e lapaTuM paDI jAya. praznakartA: pachI bIjA siddhAMta ApaNA ? dAdAzrI : ATaluM karuM to bahu thaI gayuM ! jo pAcho bIjAnuM pUcha pUcha kare che ! bIjuM pachI calAvI levAya. tane kArelAnuM zAka bhAvatuM hoya ne mana kaheze, 'vadhAre khAva'. ne dhyeyane nukasAna na karatuM hoya ne thoDuM vadhAre khAdhuM hoya to calAvI laIe ! evuM nathI kahyuM tamane ? praznakartA : hA, brahmacaryano siddhAMta e ApaNo InDIvijyuala | (aMgata) thayo. paNa jyAre be vyaktiono vyavahAra Ubho thAya tyAre mana badhuM batADe ane jJAna karIne jovA jAya to AkhuM ja ona dhI spoTa UDI jAya che badhuM. paNa vyavahAra pUro karavo paDe evuM che, javAbadArI che ane enAM rIjhalTarsa (pariNAma) bIjAne sparza karatAM hoya. tyAM mana batADe to zuM karavuM ? dAdAzrI : ApaNo mukhya siddhAMta nA tUTavo joIe. brahmacarya pALavuM che, e siddhAMta nA tUTavo joIe. bIjuM badhuM to potAno vyavahAra sAcavavA thoDuM ghaNuM karavuM paDe. tuM tyAM nA sUI jaIza. ahIM ghera sUI jaje, tyAM evuM tevuM badhuM karIe ApaNe. paNa bIjuM badhuM to, brahmacarya pALavuM ne abrahmacaryano sodo karavo, e be poSAya nahIM. enAM karatAM paiNI nAkhajo. dahIMmAM ne dudhamAM beumAM rahevAya nahIM. pachI bhagavAna Ave to ya 'nahIM mAnuM evuM kahI devuM. bIjuM badhuM calAvI laIzuM. jo tamAre siddhAMta pALavo hoya to. praznakartA : mana pharI vaLe, deha pharI vaLe, evI paristhiti UbhI nA thAya, te mATe enA sTATIMga poInTamAM (zarUnA tabakkAmAM) cetIne cAlavAnuM ? dAdAzrI : cogaradama badhAM ja saMjogo pharI vaLe. dehe ya puSTi bahu Page #102 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 146 samajathI prApta brahmacarya batAve. mana paNa puSTi batAve. buddhi ane helpa kare. tamane ekalAne pheMkI de. praznakartA : mananuM sAMbhaLavA mAMDyuM, tyAMthI potAnuM calaNa ja gayuM ne ? dAdAzrI : mananuM saMbhaLAya ja nahIM. pote AtmA-cetana, mana che te nizcetana-cetana, jene bilakula cetana che nahIM. kahevA mAtranuM, vyavahAra khAtara ja cetana kahevAya che. e to traNa dahADA mana pAchaLa paDyuM hoya to tame te ghaDIe "cAla, haMDa tyAre kaho ne ! tAre koI dahADo mana pAchaLa paDeluM ? evuM karavuM paDeluM kazuM ? paheluM nA kahuM, nA kahuM, pachI mana bahu pAchaLa paDa paDa kare eTale kare tuM ? praznakartA: hA, baneluM. dAdAzrI : enuM zuM kAraNa ? mana bahu "kahe kahe' kare eTale pachI te rUpa thaI jAya. eTale cetatA rahejo. tamArA abhiprAyane mana tamAruM khAI nA javuM joIe. abhiprAyamAM rahI ane je je kAma karatuM hoya, te ApaNane eksepTa che. tamArA siddhAMtane toDatuM na ja hovuM joIe. kAraNa ke 'tame' svataMtra thayA cho, jJAna laIne. pahelAM to mananA AdhIna ja hatA 'tame'. 'manakA calatA tana cale ! ja hatuM ne ! praznakartA : eTale brahmacaryano siddhAMta e bahu moTI vastu ane anivArya vastu che. - dAdAzrI : eTalI ja vastu ne ! tyAre moTAmAM moTI vastu e che ne ! e puruSArtha karavA mATenI vastu che. cAlo, siddhAMta pramANe atyAre to tamAruM mana tamane 'paiNavA jevuM che nahIM, paiNavAmAM bahu duHkha che' evuM helpa kare. A siddhAMta batADanAruM tamAruM mana paheluM. A jJAnathI tame siddhAMta nathI nakkI karyo, A tamArA manathI nakkI karyo che. samajathI prApta brahmacarya 147 'mane' tamane siddhAMta batAvyo ke "Ama karo." praznakartA : brahmacarya pALavAno siddhAMta mana batADe che, ema A viSaya saMbaMdhInuM paNa mana ja batADe ? dAdAzrI : eno TAIma Avaze tyAre pachI cha-cha mahinA, bArabAra mahinA sudhI e batAva batAva karaze. praznakartA : e paNa mana ja ? dAdAzrI : hA. sAyanTiphika sarakamasTenziyala eviDansa badhAM bhegAM thAya tyAre. huM A badhAne kahuM chuM ke mananA kahyA pramANe zuM cAlo cho ? mana mArI nAkhaze. tame je brahmacaryano niyama lIdho, te ya mananA kahyA pramANe ja kareluM che A. A che te jJAnathI siddhAMta nakkI nathI karyo. "mane" ema kahyuM ke, AmAM zuM majhA che ? A loko paraNIne du:khI che. Ama che, tema che, ema 'mane' je dalIla karI, e dalIla tame eksepTa karIne tame svIkAra karyo. praznakartA : to jJAna karIne A siddhAMta pakaDAyo nathI haju ? dAdAzrI : jJAna karIne zAno pakaDAyo ? A to haju mananI dalIla upara cAlyuM. have jJAna tamane maLyuM che, te have jJAnathI e dalIlane toDI nAkho. enuM calaNa ja baMdha karI do. kAraNa ke duniyAmAM AtmajJAna ekaluM ja evuM che ke je manane vaza karI zake. manane dabAvI rAkhavAnuM nahIM. manane vaza karavAnuM che. vaza eTale jItavAnuM. ApaNe beu kaca kaca karIe, temAM jIte koNa ? tane samajAvIne huM jItuM. to tuM pachI trAsa nA ApuM ne ? ane samajAvyA vagara jItuM to ? praznakartA : samAdhAna thAya to mana kazuM nA bole. dAdAzrI : hA. samAdhAnI valaNa joIe. tamane A brahmacaryanuM koNe zIkhavADeluM? brahmacaryane A loko zuM samaje ? A to ema samajI gayelo ke "A gharamAM jhaghaDA che, tethI paiNavAmAM majhA nathI. have ekalA paDI rahyA Page #103 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 148 hoIe to sAruM.' praznakartA : evuM kharuM ke mana jeTaluM vairAgya batADe che, eTaluM pAchuM eka vakhata AvuM paNa batADaze ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : manano svabhAva zuM ? e virodhAbhAsI, te banne tatva dekhADe. mATe A cetavAnuM kahuM chuM. praznakartA H mana eka vakhata brahmacaryanuM, vairAgyanuM batADaze evuM rAga paNa batADe evuM kharuM ? nathI. dAdAzrI : hA. cokkasa ne ! pachI e rAganuM dekhADe. praznakartA : evo phorsa hoya ? dAdAzrI : ethI vadhAre hoya ane ocho ya hoya. eno kAMI niyama siddhAMta zuM kahe che ? garama nAsto khAva. TADho nA lezo. ne chatAM ya roja be maThiyAM khavaDAvavAnA. e mana kahe ke, 'pAMceka maThiyAM khAIe.' tyAre ame kahIe, 'pharI, hamaNe nahIM maLe. A divALI pachI.' e hau kahuM eTaluM. praznakartA : eTale pArzIyala (aMzataH) siddhAMtanuM rAkhyuM ne pArzIyala mananuM rAkhyuM. tyAre enuM samAdhAna thayuM ne ? dAdAzrI : nA. evuM nahIM. e siddhAMtane nukasAna nA karatuM hoya te bAbatamAM, ene jarA nobIliTI (vizALatA) joIe che, tyAM nobala rahevuM joIe ApaNe. tamane zuM lAge che AmAM ? tamAro nizcaya manathI karelo ke samajaNapUrvakano ? praznakartA : manathI ja karelo. dAdAzrI : jJAna che eTale pahoMcI vaLAya. nahIM to huM tamane kahuM samajathI prApta brahmacarya 149 ja nahIM ne ! kazuM ya nA boluM. jJAna nA hoya to huM tamane A siddhAMtanI vAta karuM ja nahIM. nA pahoMcI zake mANasa. tizvayo, jJAta ane matatA ! praznakartA : mananA AdhAre thayelo nizcaya ane jJAne karIne thayelo nizcaya, enuM DimArkezana (bhedAMkana) kevI rIte hoya che ? dAdAzrI : jJAne karIne karelA nizcayamAM to bahu suMdara hoya. e to bahu judI vastu che. mana joDe kema vartavuM, e to badhI samajaNa hoya ja. ene pUchavA nA javuM paDe ke mAre zuM karavuM ?! jJAne karIne nizcaya, te to vAta judI ja ne ! A to tamArA manathI kareluM che ne ?! eTale tamAre jANavuM joIe ke ko'ka dahADo caDhI besaze. pAchuM mana ja caDhI bese ! je 'mane' A TrenamAM besADayA te ja 'mana' TrenamAMthI pADI nAkhe. eTale jJAne karIne beThA hoya to nA pADI nAkhe. praznakartA : manathI atyAra sudhI thayelo nizcaya, e jJAne karIne thaI javA mATe zuM karavuM ? dAdAzrI : have jJAne karIne tamAre ene phITa karI devAnuM eTale brahmacaryanI dorI ApaNA hAthamAM AvI javI joIe. pachI mana game teTaluM bUma pADe to ya tenuM kazuM cAle nahIM. be-pAMca varSa sudhI tuM sAmuM bole ane pelo kahe, 'paNa, paNa.' ane badhA saMjogo viparIta thAya to ya ApaNe khasIe nahIM. kAraNa ke AtmA judo che badhAthI. badhA saMyogI, viyogI svabhAvanAM che. praznakartA : jJAne karIne nizcaya thayelo hoya to enuM mana sAmuM thAya ja nahIM ne AvuM ? dAdAzrI : nA. nA thAya. jJAne karIne nizcaya thayelo hoya to enAM phAunDezana (pAyA) ja judI jAtanAM ne ! enAM badhA Ara.sI.sI.nA phAunDezana hoya. ane A to roDAMno, mahIM kroMkrITa kareluM. pachI phATa ja paDI jAya ne ? Page #104 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 151 15) samajathI prApta brahmacarya AptaputronI pAtratA ! praznakartA : ApanI draSTimAM kevuM hoya ? A loko (Aptaputro) kevA taiyAra thavA joIe ? dAdAzrI : sephasAIDa ! bIjuM jJAna nA hoya, teno vAMdho nahIM. bIjA lokone upadeza ApavAno, evuM tevuM nA hoya teno vAMdho nahIM. emanA je siddhAMtane sephasAIDa rIte rahI zake. praznakartA : eTale brahmacaryano siddhAMta ? dAdAzrI : brahmacarya ekaluM nahIM, badhI rItano siddhAMta. kaSAya koInI joDe nA thAya. koInI joDe kaSAya karavo e guno che. jJAna maLyA pachI kaSAya karavo, e zobhe ja nahIM ne ! brahmacarya ane kaSAyano abhAva. praznakartA sephasAIDanI bAunDrI kaI ? dAdAzrI : sAmenI vyakti ApaNane judAM mAne ne ApaNe ene eka mAnIe. e ApaNane judo mAne, kAraNa ke e buddhinA AdhIna che eTale. judAM mAne ne ? ApaNane buddhi nA hovI joIe. eTale ekatA lAge, abhedatA ! praznakartA : sAmo bheda pADa pADa kare tyAre ? dAdAzrI : e sAruM uchuM. e to ene buddhi che, eTale zuM kare ? enI pAse je hathiyAra hoya e ja vApare ne ?! praznakartA : to ApaNe kaI rIte abhedatA rAkhavI enI joDe ? dAdAzrI : paNa e kare che, e to paravaza thaIne kare che ne bicAro ! ane emAM e doSita zuM che ? e to karuNA khAvA jevAM. praznakartA : enA para thoDIvAra karuNA rahe. pachI ema thAya ke, 'AnA para to karuNA rAkhavA jevI ya nathI." evuM thAya. dAdAzrI : oho ! evuM to bolAya ja nahIM. Avo abhiprAya samajathI prApta brahmacarya to bahu DAuna laI jAya ApaNane ! AvuM nA bolAya. praznakartA : karuNA rAkhavA jevI nathI, e Dabala ahaMkAra kahevAya ! dAdAzrI : ahaMkArano savAla nathI. 'karuNA rAkhavA jevI nathI' evuM nA bolAya. e ApaNane ema nathI kaheto ke tame mArI para karuNA rAkho. e to ulTAM pAchA kahe 'o hoho ! moTA kakSA rAkhavAvALA AvyA !" eTale badhuM khoTuM. praznakartA: kaSNA rAkhavAno prayatna ja nA hoya ne ? dAdAzrI : karuNA e to sahaja svabhAva che. praznakartA: A je prayatna karavA mAMDyo, enA rIekazanamAM 'nathI rAkhavA jevuM' thayuM ne ? dAdAzrI : e to khoTuM. e vAta ja khoTI ! karuNA bolAya ja nahIM ApaNAthI. ene anukaMpA kahevAya. karuNA to buddhithI upara jAya tyAre karuNA kahevAya ! Page #105 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ [] pote' potAne vaDhavo ! potAne ThapakArI sudhAro ! praznakartA : ApanI pAse AjJA lIdhI. pachI jarAka ghare gayA pachI bagaDI gayuM. dAdAzrI : have kyA hogA ? aisA ho gayA phira alIkhAna kyA kare(!). praznakartA: AvuM kema thAya ? AvuM thavAnuM kAraNa zuM ? dAdAzrI : aNasamajaNa ApaNI. ahIMthI nakkI karIne gayA hoya ke mAre ghera jaIne davA pI levI, paNa nA pIve to pachI ApaNI aNasamajaNa ja kahevAya ne ! A bhAIe juone khakhaDAvyo hato. potAnI jAtane, dhamakAvI nAkhyo. A raDato hato hau, e khakhaDAvato hato, beu jovA jevI cIja.. praznakartA: eka vAra be-traNa vakhata caMdrezane TaiDakAvelo, tyAre bahu raDelo paNa kharo. paNa mane ema paNa kaheto hato ke have AvuM nahIM thAya, samajathI prApta brahmacarya 153 chatAM pharIthI thAya che. dAdAzrI : hA. e to thavAnuM to kharuM, paNa e to vAreghaDIe pAchuM kahevAnuM, ApaNe kahetAM rahevAnuM ne e thayA karavAnuM. kahevAthI ApaNuM judApaNuM rahe. tanmayAkAra nA thaI jaIe. e pADozIne vaDhIe evI rIte cAlyA kare. ema karatuM karatuM pUruM thaI jAya ane badhI phAIlo pUrI thaI jaze ne ! | vicArone joyA karavA. 'to tame mahIM bharAI rahyA che !" evuM kahevuM ApaNe UlaTuM ! 'ATalo badho karaphayu mUkayo to ya haju pesI gayA cho ?' kahIe ! mATe 'bhAgo, nahIM to A karaphayu che' kahIe, 'have, AvI banyuM jANo." - brahmacarya barAbara paLAya eTale dhImI dhImI asara thavA mAMDe. A moDhA upara teja AvatuM jAya. paNa haju bahu khAsa moDhA upara bahu teja nathI dekhAtuM. khoTa nathI dekhAtI paNa teja to dekhAtuM nathI barobara ! praznakartA : enuM zuM kAraNa haze ? dAdAzrI : dAnata ! dAnata tArI kharAba che. kyAMthI teja dekhAya ? e to jotAM pahelA tArI dAnata bagaDI jAya che. viSaya-vikAra to hotA haze, brahmacArI thayA pachI ?! praznakartA: e mATe zuM karavuM joIe ? A dAnata AvI che eTale dAnata sudhare, enA mATe zuM karavuM joIe ? eno upAya zuM ? dAdAzrI : vicAra Ave che te huM hoya. ApaNe ene TaiDakAvo joIe. tuM zuM TaiDakAvato'to ? caMdrezane TaiDakAvato hato ne ? te koI dahADo TaiDakAvyo che ? pachI paMpALa paMpALa karuM to zuM thAya ? ene TeDakAvIe ne, be dholo mArI daIza, ema kahIe. raDe to caMdraza. tuM TaiDakAvato hoya ane caMdreza raDato hoya ! evuM thaze tyAre rAge paDaze. nahIM to aNahakkanA viSaya-vikAra to narkagatimAM laI jAya. enAM karatAM paiNuM to sAruM, e hakkano to kharo ! viSaya-vikAranI IcchAo thatI nathI ? Page #106 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 154 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA evuM ko'ka vAra vicAra Ave che ! dAdAzrI : paNa te ko'ka vakhata ne ? eTale roja jamavAno vicAra Ave che, evuM nahIM ne ? e ko'ka ko'ka vakhate hAjara thAya vakhate. koka dADe varasAda paDe evuM ? praznakartA : e ko'ka dA'De. eTale pahelAM Ama bahu AvatA'tA ne Akho dahADe, e baMdha thaI gayA. dAdAzrI : ane haju to vadhu TAIma jaze ne eTale e dizA ja baMdha thaI jaze. jyAM AgaLa je dizAmAM ApaNe javuM'tuM e dizA ApaNe nakkI thaI jAya, pachI pAchalI badhI aDacaNa AvatI baMdha thaI jAya ne pachI e dizA ja baMdha thaI jAya. pachI Ave nahIM. pachI amArA jevuM rahevAya. evuM utpanna thaI jAya. praznakartA : hamaNAM A zrI vijhana sAruM rahe che. dAdAzrI : zrI vijhana to bahu kAma kADhI nAkhe. nididhyAsana dAdAnuM rahe che ne ? e nididhyAsanathI badhuM phaLa maLe. nididhyAsana pachI IcchA ja nA thAya koI cIjanI. bhIkha ja nA hoya. viSayano vicAra Ave to ya kahIe, 'huM hoya' A juduM, ene TaiDakAvo paDe. caMdrezane "Ama kara, Ama kAma kara, Ama kAma kara" UlaTI ApaNe doravaNI karavI. nA karato hoya to ApaNe evuM jarA kahevuM paDe ke A badhAMnI joDa nahIM cAlo to, tamArI zI dazA thaze ? hAMkanAra to joIe ke nA joIe ? praznakartA : joIe. dAdAzrI : eTale A jJAna ApyuM che, zuddhAtmA rahe che. have emAM jo cUka nA khaIza, have je kaMI Ave te badhuM caMdrazanuM che. eTale caMdrazanI joDe tAre bhAMjagaDo karyA karavI. 'tuM to pahelethI evo ja chuM, mAre levA devA nathI.' evuM tAre kahI devuM. 'jo sIdho cAla. sIdho cAlavuM hoya to cAla, nahIM to pachI huM to hapUca tarachoDa karI daIza' kahIe. kiMcitmAtra samajathI prApta brahmacarya 155 duHkha e mAruM svarUpa joya. kiMcitmAtra mahIM A upAdhi thAya e svarUpa mAruM nhoya. dAdAe mane je ApyuM che e niruupAdhipada, paramAnaMdI pada ApyuM che, e mAruM svarUpa che. thoDuM thoDuM caMdrazane ya TaiDakAvato rahe. koI TaiDakAvanAra nahIM tane. tane TaiDakAve tene tuM keDI khauM evo chuM. tane dhola mAravAnI Teva che ne ? te kahIe, caMdraza, tane dholo mArIza have to. kaMI paNa mahIM e lAge, e viSaya vikArI vicAra eTale samajI javAnuM ke A caMdraza, huM hoya. kaMI paNa pheraphAra thAya e caMdreza, ApaNe nahIM. ApaNAmAM hoya ja nahIM ne ! praznakartA : potAnA badhA doSo jaldI nIkaLI jAya, enA mATe zuM karavuM joIe ? - dAdAzrI : jaldI vaLI hotuM haze? eka doSa kADhI nAkhavA jevo thayo che jaldI. e to bhrAMtithI A doSa utpanna thAya che, viSaya-vikAra ekalo ja. bIjA badhA doSo to enI meLe TAIma para ja jAya, ekadama jaldI nA jAya. A viSaya-vikAra to eka jAtanI khAlI bhrAMti che. praznakartA: AmAMthI pAra UtarI javAze, evI zraddhA besI gaI che Ama. dAdAzrI : besI jAya. nIkaLI javAya Ama karatAM karatAM. dasa varSa kADhI nAkhyAne eTale ema thaye pachI havA judI Ave. atyAre khINamAM che eTale lAge evuM. khINamAMthI bahAra nIkaLyA eTale 'phakkaDa" ! bimArI nIkaLIne eTale gabharAmaNa thAya jarA. paNa mArIe ropha ne, caMdrezane 'tArA manamAM zuM samaju chuM ?" kahIe. paNa mane pUchIne TeDakAvaje, ho. nahIM to blaDaprezara para asara thaI jAya. pachI ahIM chaTakayA eTale pote phAvyA. pachI bIjI mUMjhavaNane mUMjhavaNa gaNazo nahIM. ame IzAro karIe tamane, ame jANIe chIe ke tame juvAna UMmaranA cho. bhegA maLIne kAma kare tyAM e bhAgIdAra, javAbadArInuM kAma kare. bhAgIdArImAM e bhegA kAma kare, e baMnene bhogavavuM paDe. paNa jo judA rahIne kare, to sahu sahunI javAbadArI. eTale tame judA rahIne karo Page #107 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 157 156 samajathI prApta brahmacarya eTale pachI caMdrezane ekalAne ja bhogavavAnuM. tamAre nahIM bhogavavAnuM ane peluM to tamAre ne caMdrezane bannene bhogavavAnuM. che prakRtinuM, AtmAe karyuM evuM nA hoya, to rAge paDaze. patAvo prakRtine paTAvIne ! praznakartA : dareke potAnI phAIla joIne karavuM joIe. darekanI phAIlane judI judI davA mAphaka Ave. ekasarakhI davA nA mAphaka Ave. mArI phAIlane evuM vaDhavAnI kaDaka davA mAphaka nA Ave. dAdAzrI : hA, koIne prezara vadhI jAya, koIne kazuM evuM thaI jAya. praznakartA H to A badhA ekabIjAnuM joI joIne karavA jAya Ama. dAdAzrI : nA, joI joIne karazo nahIM. mane pUchavuM e. e meM kahyuM che. alyA, koI karazo nahIM, geTa-AuTa, geTa-AuTa kahIe to blaDaprezara vadhI jAya. eTale tamAre to arIsAmAM joIne kahevuM ke bhaI huM chuM, tArI sAthe. tuM gabharAIza nahIM, kahIe. emAM prezara nA thaI jAya. nizcaya joIe AmAM, nizcaya. praznakartA : tame je prayogo batAvo cho ne, arIsAmAM sAmAyika karavAnuM. pachI prakRti sAthe vAtacIta karavAnI, e prayoga badhA bahu sArA lAge che. pachI be-traNa divasa sAruM thAya, pachI emAM kacAza AvI jAya samajathI prApta brahmacarya karIe. e adhUro mUkIe. trIjo prayoga kaMI batAve. emAM adhUro eTale badhA adhUrA rahe che. dAdAzrI : e ApaNe pharI pUrA karavA, dhIme dhIme eka eka laIne. arIsAno prayoga pUro nahIM karyo ? praznakartA : nA, eTale jyAre karIe eTalo lAbha thAya. paNa ApaNe pachI je chUTApaNuM rahevuM ja joIe. A bhAIne je chUTo jouM chuM, ema pachI paramenanTa nathI jovAtuM. prakRtine jANIe kharA, judI che. dAdAzrI : keTaluM vaDhyo'to e, raDyo tyAM sudhI vaDhyo'to. te bolo have keTaluM chUTuM paDI gayuM ?! tuM kaMI vaDhyo hato evuM koI dahADo ? raDe evo ? praznakartA : raDyo nahoto, paNa DhIlo thaI gayo'to. dAdAzrI : DhIlo thaI gayo'to. tuM TeDakAvuM to sIdho thaI jAya kharo ! tyAre pachI e prayoga keTalo kiMmatI prayoga che. lokone AvaDe nahIM. juone, A bhaI besI rahe ghera, paNa Avo prayoga nA kare. praznakartA H ame hau besI rahIe chIe. eTale emAM kacAza che ke pachI prayoganuM mahatva samajAyuM nathI ke pachI AmAM hakIkata zuM bane dAdAzrI : eTalo ullAsa ocho che. dAdAzrI : kacAza Ave to pAchuM pharI navesara karavuM. jUnuM thAya eTale badhuM kacAza ja Ave. pudgalano svabhAva jUnuM thAya eTale bagaDatuM jAya ane navI pAchI goThavaNI karIne mUkI devAnuM. praznakartA : eTale e prayoga dvArA ja kArya siddha thaI javuM joIe. e thatuM nathI ne adhavacce pUro thaI jAya che prayoga. dAdAzrI : ema karatAM karatAM siddha thAya, ekadama nA thaI jAya. praznakartA e prayoga adhUro hoya ane pachI bIjo prayoga pAcho Page #108 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 159 dAdAzrI : hA, A apratikramaNano doSa che. te ghaDIe pratikramaNa nA karyA, tene laIne Aje A banyuM. have pratikramaNa karavAthI pharI doSa Ubho nahIM thAya. praznakartA : paNa amuka vakhate to ghaNAM badhAM pratikramaNa karIe chIe ne pAchuM pratikramaNa karavAnuM eTale bahu gusso Ave ? Ama kema thaI jAya che ? dAdAzrI : mahIM bagaDyuM hoya, te vakhate to pratikramaNa karIne dhoI nAkhavuM. ane pachI dAdA pAse rUbarU AvIne kahI devuM ke AvuM amAruM mana bahu bagaDI gayuM'tuM. dAdA, tamArAthI kaMI chUpuM rAkhavuM nathI. eTale badhuM UDI jAya. ahIMnI ahIM ja davA ApIe. bIjA koIne doSa beTho hazene te ame dhoI ApIzuM. jyAM InTaresTa tyAM karo pratikramaNa ! praznakartA : pelI pharI pharI draSTi kheMcAya, ekanI eka jagyAe draSTi kheMcAya, e to InTaresTa (ruci) hoya to ja, evuM nA kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : InTaresTa ja ne ? InTaresTa vagara to draSTi kheMcAya ja nahIM ? [7] pastAvA sahitanA pratikramaNo ! pratyakSa AlocatAthI, rokaDuM chUTAya ! zrI vijhanathI to badhuM rAge paDI ja jAyane ! praznakartA : mArI draSTi paDe ne kyAreka, to mane thAya ke arere ! A draSTi kyAM paDI ?! pratikramaNa karavuM paDaze. kaMTALo Ave. dAdAzrI : paNa kaMTALo Ave ne, e to draSTi paDI jAya che. ApaNe pADavI nathI chatAM paDI jAya che. mATe puruSArtha karavAno ane pratikramaNe ya karavAnI jarUra che. praznakartA : amuka vastuno eTalo badho gusso Ave che ke, ema thAya che ke A kema AvuM thAya che ? samajamAM nathI AvatuM ? dAdAzrI : gayA phere pratikramaNa nA karyA. tethI A phere pharI draSTi paDe che. have pratikramaNa karazuM eTale pharI nahIM paDe, AvatA bhavamAM. praznakartA: amuka vakhata to pratikramaNa karavAno kaMTALo AvI jAya che. ekadama eTalA badhAM karavA paDe. praznakartA : mahIM ruci kharI. draSTi kheMcAya enuM pratikramaNa thAya, pachI rAta paDI ke pAchuM draSTi tyAM AgaLa jAya, ruci thAya, enuM pratikramaNa thaI jAya, e cehara (prakaraNa) pUruM thaI gayuM. pAchI pAMca-dasa miniTa asara thAya. eTale thAya ke A zuM garabaDa che ? dAdAzrI : e pharI dhoI nAkhavuM joIe, eTaluM ja basa. praznakartA : basa eTaluM ja ? bIjuM manamAM kAMI rAkhavAnuM nahIM ? dAdAzrI : A mAla ApaNe bharelo che ane jImedArI ApaNI che. eTale ApaNe joyA karavAnuM, dhovAmAM kAcuM nA rahI javuM joIe. praznakartA : kapaDuM dhovAI gayuM kone kahevAya ? Page #109 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 161 160 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : ApaNane potAne ja khabara paDe ke meM dhoI nAkhyuM. pratikramaNa karIe eTale. praznakartA : mahIM kheda rahevo joIe ? dAdAzrI : kheda to rahevo ja joIe ne ? kheda to jyAM sudhI A niveDo nA Ave tyAM sudhI kheda to rahevo ja joIe. ApaNe to joyA karavAnuM. kheda rAkhe che ke nahIM te. ApaNe ApaNuM kAma karavAnuM che, e enuM kAma kare. praznakartA : A badhuM cIkaNuM bahu che. emAM thoDo thoDo pharaka paDato jAya che. dAdAzrI : jevo bharelo doSa evo nIkaLe. paNa te bAra varSe ke dasa varSe-pAMca varSe badhuM khAlI thaI jaze, TAMkIo badhuM sApha karI nAkhaze. pachI cokhkhuM ! pachI majA karo ! - praznakartA : eka vakhata bIja paDI gayuM hoya eTale rUpakamAM to Ave ja ne ? dAdAzrI : bIja paDI ja jAyane ! e rUpakamAM AvavAnuM paNa jyAM sudhI eno jAma thayo nathI, tyAM sudhI ochA-vattA thaI jAya. eTale maratAM pahelAM e cokhkho thaI jAya. tethI ame viSayanA doSavALAne kahIe chIe ne ke viSayanA doSa thayA hoya, bIjA doSa thayA hoya, tene kahIe ke, ravivAre tuM Ama upavAsa karaje ne Akho dahADo e ja vicAra karIne, vicAra karI karIne ene dho dho karyA karaje. ema AjJApUrvaka kare ne, eTale ochuM thaI jAya ! viSaya saMbaMdhI sAmAyika, pratikramaNa... praznakartA : viSaya-vikAra saMbaMdhInuM sAmAyika-pratikramaNa karavAnuM kevI rIte ? dAdAzrI : atyAra sudhI bhUla thaI gaI hoya tenA pratikramaNa samajathI prApta brahmacarya karavAnAM, bhaviSyamAM bhUla nahIM thAya evo nizcaya karavAno. praznakartA : ApaNe sAmAyikamAM to je kaMI doSa thayA hoya, te pharI pharI dekhAtA hoya to ? dAdAzrI : dekhAya tyAM sudhI enI kSamA mAMgavAnI, kSamApanA karavAnI, enA para "e" pastAvo karavAno, pratikramaNa karavAnuM. praznakartA : A hamaNAM sAmAyikamAM beThA, A dekhAyuM chatAM pharI pharI kema Ave che ? dAdAzrI : e to Avane, mahIM paramANu hoya to Ave. teno ApaNane zuM vAMdho che ? praznakartA : A Ave che eTale ema ke hajI dhovAyo nathI. dAdAzrI : nA, e to mAla haju ghaNAM kALa sudhI raheze. haju ya dasa-dasa varasa sudhI raheze, paNa tamAre badho kADhavAno. praznakartA: A draSTi je jatI rahe che, enAM mATe zuM karavuM? eTale Ama khabara paDe ke ApaNe ahIM upayoga cUkyA, ApaNane A 'strI' che e "strI" ja dekhAvI ja nA joIe ne ? dAdAzrI : strI dekhAya, mahIM vicAra Ave, to ya e badhuM pratikramaNa karavAnuM. tAre caMdrazane kahevAnuM, pratikramaNa kara ! e kaMI moTI vastu nathI. viSayomAM sukhabuddhi kone ? praznakartA : pAMca indriyonA viSayomAM sukhabuddhi che, tyAM sudhI nikAla thAya nahIM ne ? dAdAzrI : je AtmA meM tamane Apyo che, emAM sukhabuddhi jarAya nathI. A sukha eNe koI dahADo ya cAkhyuM paNa nathI. e je sukhabuddhi che, te ahaMkArane che. sukhabuddhi thAya teno kaMI vAMdho nathI. sukhabuddhi e vastu AtmAnI Page #110 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 162 samajathI prApta brahmacarya nathI, e pudgalanI vastu che. je koI paNa vastu tamane Ape, temAM tamane sukhabuddhi utpanna thAya. pharI enI e vastu vadhAre Ape, temAM du:khabuddhi ya utpanna thAya. evuM tame jANo ke nA jANo ? praznakartA : hA, kaMTALo Ave pachI. dAdAzrI : mATe e pudgala che, pUraNa-galanavALI vastu che. eTale e kAyamanI vastu nathI, TempararI eDajasTamenTa che. sukhabuddhi eTale A kerI sArI hoya ne tene pharI mAMgIe, tethI kaMI temAM sukhabuddhi gaNAtI nathI. e to dehanuM AkarSaNa che. praznakartA : dehanuM ne jIbhanuM AkarSaNa bahu rahyA kare. dAdAzrI : e AkarSaNa rahyA kare che, temAM phakta jAgRti rAkhavAnI che. ame tamane je vAkya ApyuM che ke, "mana-vacana-kAyAnI tamAma saMgI kriyAothI huM tadana asaMga ja chuM." e jAgRti rahevI joIe ane kharekhara ejhekTalI ema ja che. e badhuM pUraNa-galana che. tame A jAgRti rAkho to tamane baMdha paDato nathI ! praznakartA : e nA rahe to, e ApaNA cAritrano doSa che ema gaNIe ? dAdAzrI : e kramika mArgamAM hoya. praznakartA : paNa e cAritramohane lIdhe DhIlAza rahe ? dAdAzrI : e kramika mArgamAM DhIlAza kahevAya. enA mATe tamAre upAya karavo paDe. AmAM (akramamAM) tamAre DhIlAza nA kahevAya. AmAM tamAre jAgRti ja rAkhavAnI. ame je AtmA Apelo che, e jAgRti ja che. praznakartA : jAgRti nA hoya eTale rAga thAya ne ? dAdAzrI : nA, evuM nathI ! have tamane rAga thAya ja nahIM. A thAya che, te AkarSaNa che. praznakartA : e nabaLAI nA gaNAya ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya 163 dAdAzrI : nA, nabaLAI nA gaNAya. ene ne AtmAne kazI levAdevA nathI. phakta tamane potAnuM sukha AvavA nA de. eTale eka-be avatAra vadhAre karAvaDAve. teno upAya paNa che. ahIM ApaNe A badhA sAmAyika kare che, te sAmAyikamAM e viSayane mUkIne pote dhyAna kare to e viSaya ogaLato jAya, khalAsa thaI jAya ! je je tamAre ogALI nAkhavuM hoya te ahIM ogALI zakAya. praznakartA : evuM kaMIka hoya to te kAmanuM ne ? dAdAzrI : che. ahIM badhuM ja che. ahIM tamane badhuM ja dekhADaze. tamane koI jagyAe jIbhano svAda naDato hoya, te ja sAmAyikamAM mUkavAno ane ahIM dekhADe e pramANe tene 'joyA' karavAnuM. khAlI jovAthI ja badhI gAMTho ogaLI jAya. he gAMTho ! ame nahIM ke tame nahIM ! vicAra manamAMthI Ave che ane mana gAMThonuM baneluM che. jenA vicAro vadhAre Ave, te gAMTha moTI hoya ! vastusthitimAM viSayanI gAMTha je che, e TAMkaNIne jema lohacuMbaka AkarSe evuM AmAM AkarSaNa UbhuM thAya che. paNa ApaNane eTalo badho AtmA khyAlamAM rahe to nA aDe. paNa mANasane evI jAgRti barAbara rahe nahIM ne ? praznakartA: A je be pAMdaDIe cUMTavAnuM vijJAna che, ke viSayanI gAMTha chUTe tyAre be pAMdaDe ukheDI nAkhavuM. to jItI javAya ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, paNa viSaya evI vastu che ke jo emAM ekAgratA thAya to AtmA bhUle. eTale A gAMTha Ama nukasAnakAraka che, te eTalAM ja mATe ke e gAMTha phUTe tyAre ekAgratA thaI jAya che. ekAgratA thAya eTale viSaya kahevAya. ekAgratA thayA vagara viSaya kahevAya ja nahIM ne ! e gAMTha chUTe tyAre eTalI badhI jAgRti rahevI joIe ke vicAra Ubho thatAMnI sAthe ukheDIne pheMkI de, to ene tyAM ekAgratA nA thAya. jo ekAgratA nathI to tyAM viSaya ja nathI, to e gAMTha kahevAya ane e gAMTha ogaLaze tyAre kAma thaze. Page #111 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : eTale e gAMTha ogaLI jAya to pachI pelo AkarSaNano vyavahAra ja nathI raheto ne ? 164 dAdAzrI : e vyavahAra ja baMdha thaI jAya. TAMkaNI ane lohacuMbakano saMbaMdha ja baMdha thaI jAya. e saMbaMdha ja nA rahe. e gAMThane lIdhe A vyavahAra cAlu che ne ! have viSaya sthULa svabhAvI che ane AtmA sUkSma svabhAvI che evuM bhAna rahevuM bahu muzkela che, eTale ekAgratA thayA vagara rahe ja nahIM ne ! e to jJAnI puruSanuM kAma che, bIjA koInuM kAma ja nathI ! bAkI AmAM hAtha ghAlavo ja nahIM, nahIM to e UlaTuM dajhAze. jJAnI puruSa to tamane bhaya TALavA bole. AkhuM jagata je samaje che, tevo AtmA nathI. AtmA to mahAvIra bhagavAne jANyo che tevo che, A dAdA kahe che tevo AtmA che. A gAMTho e to AvaraNa che ! e gAMTho che tyAM sudhI AtmAno svAda nA AvavA de. A jJAna pachI have gAMTho dhIme dhIme ogaLatI javAnI, kaMI vadhavAnI nathI have. chatAM kaI gAMTho herAna kare che, kaI pajave che eTalI ja jovAnI hoya, badhI gAMTho jovAnI nA hoya. e to jema A mArkeTamAM zAkabhAjI badhI paDI hoya, paNa emAM kyA zAka upa2 ApaNI draSTi jA jA kare che tenI ja bhAMjagaDa, e gAMTha mahIM moTI che ! tAre kaI kaI gAMTha moTI che ? praznakartA : viSayanI eka moTI che, pachI lobhanI Ave, pachI mAna-apamAnanI Ave che. pachI kapaTamAM to, potAno bacAva-svarakSaNa karavA mATe kapaTa UbhuM thAya. dAdAzrI : bIjA kazA mATe kapaTa nahIM ne ? praznakartA : apamAnano bhaya hoya ke potAnI bhUla hoya to. dAdAzrI : hA, paNa e sivAya bIjI koI vastu mATe kapaTa nahIM ne ? A badhI gAMTho kapaTavALI ja hoya, te kapaTa kare to ja enuM phaLa maLe ! badhI gAMTho kapaTavALI hoya. praznakartA : e kevI rIte ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya 165 dAdAzrI : mAne ya kapaTa kare to maLe, apamAne ya kapaTa kare to maLe. viSaya paNa kapaTa vagara nA maLe. vikArI vicAra Ave che kharAM ? praznakartA : e UbhuM thAya, haju koI vakhata ! e pariNAmo UbhAM thAya, paNa jethI karIne potAnI coMTa emAM nA hoya kazI. paNa e zuM che, hajI pariNAma evAM thaI jAya che te ? dAdAzrI : kema mAMsAhAranA vicAra nathI AvatA ? e zAthI evuM ? praznakartA : e gAMTha nathI. dAdAzrI : e gAMTha nathI, e mAla ja bharyo nathI ne ! pachI e mAla zI rIte nIkaLe ? je mAla bharelo che, e ja mAla nIkaLe ! praznakartA : ATaluM solyuzana kahyuM e vAta to barobara che, paNa emAM kacAza zI che ? emAM kacAza vastu zuM rahI jAya che ? dAdAzrI : je mAla bharelo che e nIkaLe che, emAM kacAza kayAM rahI ? kema muslima DIzo yAda nathI AvatI ? ane A yAda Ave che, te zuM che ? kAraNa ke A mAla bharelo che. eTale have ApaNane gAMTho phUTe teno vAMdho nathI. gAMThane to kahIe, jeTalI phUTavI hoya teTalI phUTa, tuM zeya che ne ame jJAtA chIe.' eTale ukela Ave. jeTaluM phUTI gayuM eTaluM pharI nahIM Ave. have navuM je phUTe che, paNa te gAMTha vadhatI baMdha thaI gaI. nahIM to e gAMTho to AvaDI sUraNa jevaDI moTI hoya. mAnanI gAMTho keTalAkane to te kalAkamAM cAra jagyAe phUTe. A jJAna maLyA pachI gAMTho badhI tUTavA mAMDe, nahIM to gAMTha tUTe nahIM. A jJAna maLyuM nA hoya tyAM sudhI gAMTho dahADe dahADe vadhatI ja jAya ! AtmA prApta thayo eTale nirviSayI thayo, pachI ApaNe e gAMThono nikAla karyA karavAno. tamane ame kema vaDhatA nathI ? ame jANIe chIe ke gAMTho che, eno to nikAla karaze ne ! je gAMTha che te phUTayA vagara Page #112 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 166 samajathI prApta brahmacarya rahevAnI che ? jenI gAMTho nathI, te gAMTho kaMI phUTavAnI nathI. amane gAMTho nA hoya. amane lagnamAM laI jAva ne to ya ame te rUpe hoIe, ahIM bolAvo to ya te rUpe hoIe. kAraNa ke ame nigraMtha thayelA. vicAra Ave ne jAya. koI vakhata kazo vicAra Ave ne Ubho rahe tyAre e gAMTha kahevAya che. eTale AvuM che A badhuM ! chevaTe nigraMtha thavAnuM che ane A bhavamAM nigraMtha thavAya evuM che. ApaNuM A jJAna nigraMtha banAve evuM che. je thoDI gAMTho rahI haze teno AvatA bhavamAM nikAla thaze, paNa badhI graMthIono ukela thAya evo che ! viSaya bIja timULa zuddha upayoge ! viSayanA vicAro jene nA gamatA hoya ne tenAthI chUTavuM hoya teNe A sAmAyikathI, zudgha upayogathI ogALI zakAya tema che. A 'jJAna' pachI jene vahelo ukela lAvavo hoya teNe AvuM karavuM. badhAne kaMI AnI jarUra nathI. praznakartA : chatAM Ane pahoMcI vaLAya evuM lAgatuM nathI. dAdAzrI : evuM kazuM ja nathI. eka rAjIpo ane bIjuM sinsiyAriTI, A be ja hoya to badhuM ja prApta thAya evuM che. bAkI AmAM mahenata karavAnI kazI hotI ja nathI. praznakartA : A savAranI sAmAyika karIe chIe, to emAM pacAsa miniTa pachI to sukhano Ubharo Ave che. dAdAzrI : Ave ja ne ! kAraNa ke tame AtmasvarUpa thaIne sAmAyika karo eTale AnaMda Ave ja ne ! AtmA acaLa che. have keTalAka A sAmAyika dahADAmAM babbe-traNa traNa vakhata kare che. kAraNa ke svAda cAkhyone ! A vItarAgI jJAna maLyA pachI eno svAde ya ora hoya, pachI koNa choDe ? pelI bahAranI bIjA lokonI sAmAyikamAM to badhuM hAMkavAnuM ane A to koIne hAMkavAnuM karavAnuM nahIM ane joyA samajathI prApta brahmacarya 167 ja karavAnuM, jJAtA-draSTA. te ya pAchuM be phAyadA thavAnA ! eka to potAne sAmAyikanuM phaLa maLe, eTale zuM ? ke A badhuM acaLa thAya tyAre AtmAno svabhAva mAlUma paDe, eTale sukha utpanna thAya. A caMcaLa bhAga che te acaLa thAya eTale AtmAnuM svAbhAvika sukha utpanna thAya. A caMcaLatAne laIne e sukha plasa-mAInasa thaI jAya che. bIjuM eka ke potAnA doSa hoya, tene jJAtA-draSTA tarIke joyA karIe eTale doSa ogaLyA kare. eTale be lAbha thAya. sAmAyikamAM to potAno je doSa hoya, tene ja mUkI devAno ! ahaMkAra hoya to ahaMkAra mUkI devAno, viSayarasa hoya to viSayarasane mUkI devAno, lobha-lAlaca hoya to tene mUkI devAnuM, e gAMThone sAmAyikamAM mUkI dIdhI ane e gAMTha upara jJAtA-draSTA rahyo eTale e ogaLe. bIjA koI raste A gAMTho ogaLe evI nathI. eTaluM A sAmAyika saheluM, saraLa ne bahu UMcAmAM UMcI vastu che ! ahIM eka phero sAmAyika karI jAya ne pachI ghare ya thaI zake ! ahIM badhA joDe besIne karavAthI zuM thAya ke badhAnA prabhAva paDe ne ekadama paddhatisaranuM sarasa thaI jAya. pachI ApaNe ghera karIe to cAlyA kare. viSayanI gAMTha moTI hoya che, tenA nikAlanI bahu ja jarUra, te kudaratI rIte ApaNe ahIM A sAmAyika UbhuM thaI gayuM che ! sAmAyika goThavo, sAmAyikathI badhuM ogaLe ! kaMIka karavuM to paDaze ne ? dAdA che tyAM sudhImAM badho roga kADhavo paDaze ne ? ekAda gAMTha ja bhAre hoya, paNa je roga che te to kADhavo ja paDaze ne ? e rogathI ja anaMta avatAra bhaTakayA che ne ? A sAmAyika to zAne mATe che ke viSayabhAvanuM bIja haju sudhI gayuM nathI ane e bIjamAMthI ja cArja thAya che, e viSayabhAvanuM bIja javA mATe A sAmAyika che. ApaNe viSayo joItA nA hoya, paNa viSayo choDe nahIM ne ? ApaNe khADAmAM nA paDavuM hoya chatAM paDI javAyuM to zuM karavuM joIe ? tarata ja dAdA pAse eka kalAka mAgaNI karavI ke, 'dAdA, mane brahmacaryanI zakti Apo.' eTale zakti maLI jAya ne pratikramaNa paNa thaI jAya. pachI Page #113 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 168 samajathI prApta brahmacarya enI 'varIjha'(ciMtA) magajamAM nahIM rAkhI mUkavAnI. khADAmAM paDyo ke tarata ja sAmAyika karI dhoI nAkhavAnuM. sAmAyika eTale hAtha-paga dhoIne, kapaDAM dhoI sUkavIne, ghaDI karIne cokhkhAM thaI javuM. tarata sAmAyika nA thAya to be-cAra kalAka pachI paNa karI levuM, paNa lakSamAM rAkhavAnuM ke sAmAyika karavAnuM rahyuM che. bhagavAne ema nathI kahyuM ke, 'tuM khADAmAM nA paDIza." bhagavAne to evuM kaheluM ke, "khADAmAM paDavA jevuM nathI, sIdhA roDa upara cAlavA jevuM che.' evo abhiprAya Apyo hato. pachI koI kahe ke, 'tame nA kahyuM che ne mArAthI paDI javAyuM to zuM karavuM ?" tyAre bhagavAna kahe, 'paDI javAyuM teno vAMdho nathI, paDI javAya te tuM dhoI nAkhaje ane atyAre IstrIbaMdha kapaDAM paherI le." eka kalAka sAmAyika karI lIdhuM eTale kazo ya bAdha nahIM. kiMcitmAtra bAdha hoya to mAre mAthe jokhamadArI, pachI AvaDAM nAnA khADAmAM paDe ke AvaDA moTA khADAmAM paDe, paNa bAze nahIM !!! jagata AkhuM vagara khADe DUbI rahyuM che, DhAMkaNImAM DUbI jAya che ! Page #114 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 170 samajathI prApta brahmacarya che te rAtre ja. dahADe karavAnuM kahIe ne tyAM AgaLa, to nA game. mArI joDe eka vANiyo besavA Avato hato. te ghaDIe mArI 6062 varasanI uMmara hatI. enI ya 60-62 varasanI uMmara. eNe mArI joDe zarata karI hatI. eka aDadho kalAka besavA AvuM to tame nabhAvI lezo ? meM kahyuM, 'hA. nabhAvI laIza." bahAra mArI joDe phare to lokomAM ropha vadhe. pachI mArI joDe bese. Ama enI buddhi sArI, meM e bhAIne pUchyuM, 'A badhAM puruSo nekeDa jatAM hoya to te tamane jovA game ?" tyAre e kahe, nA game. huM to moDhuM pheravI lauM." alyA, puruSo nekeDa jatA hoya to tuM nekeDa nathI ? A to DhAMkeluM tethI rUpALuM ! tyAra pachI ene pUchayuM, 'strI ane puruSo jo nekeDa jatAM hoya, temAM zuM jovAnuM pasaMda karo ?" tyAre e kahe, "puruSa jovAya paNa strIne to jovAnuM nA game. UlaTI thAya.' Ama huM e vANiyAnI buddhi joto hato. e bhAI kahe che, mArI vAIpha nahAtI hatI, tyAre emane joI gayo. te mane A mahIM cItarI caDhe che." [8] sparza sukhanI bhrAmaka mAnyatA ! jotAM ja jugupsA ! viSayanA gaMdavADAmAM loko paDyA che. viSaya vakhate ajavALuM kare to potAne gamatuM nathI. ajavALuM thAya ne bhaDakI jAya. tethI aMdhAruM rAkhe. ajavALuM thAya to bhogavavAnI jagyA jovAnI game nahIM. eTale kRpALudeve bhogavavAnA sthAnane zuM kahyuM che ? praznakartA: 'vamana karavAne paNa yogya cIja nathI.' dAdAzrI : UlaTI karavI hoya, to te jagyAe kare ke bIjI sArI jagyAe kare ? praznakartA : keTaluM badhuM joyuM haze emaNe ? dAdAzrI : joyeluM ne, jJAnIoe. eka to AMkhane gamatuM nathI. kAnane paNa game nahIM. nAkane to gaMdhAya. jo e jagyAne aDelo hAtha soDavAmAM AvI jAya ne to e marelA mAchalAM hoya evuM gaMdhAya. ane cAkhavAnuM kahyuM hoya to ? ekuMya Indriyane game nahIM ane sparzane game seMga bilipho, rUTa kaoNjhamAM ! pAMca indriyone game nahIM evuM aMdhArAmAM jaIne karavAnuM. chokarA dekhe to ya zaramAya. koI viSaya-vikAra karato hoya, eno phoTo le to kevo dekhAya ? praznakartA : cItarI caDhe evo dekhAya, jAnavara jevo dekhAya. dAdAzrI : jAnavara ja kahevAya. badhI pAzavI IcchA kahevAya. praznakartA : strInA aMga tarapha AkarSaNa thavAnuM kAraNa zuM hoya ? dAdAzrI : mAnyatA ApaNI, roMga bilipho tethI. gAyanA aMga tarapha kema AkarSaNa nathI thatuM ?! mAnyatAo khAlI, kazuM hotuM nathI. khAlI bilipho che. bilipho toDI nAkho eTale kazuM ya nahIM. praznakartA : e mAnyatA UbhI thAya che, te saMyoga bhego thavAthI thAya che ? Page #115 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 171 dAdAzrI : lokonA kahevAthI ApaNane thAya. ApaNA kahevAthI mAnyatA thAya. ane AtmAnI hAjarIthI mAnyatA thAya eTale draDha thaI jAya ane emAM evuM zuM che ? mAMsanA locA che ! praznakartA H ekavAra huM stananuM oparezana jovA gayo hato. pahelA joyAM to eTalA suMdara dekhAtA hatA paNa oparezana karavA mATe cIyuM to pachI kaMpArI AvI gaI. dAdAzrI : suMdaratA kazI hotI ja nathI. mAMsanA locA ja che. praznakartA : A roMga bilipha kevI rIte uDADavI ? dAdAzrI : A meM kevI rIte uDADI hamaNAM ! praznakartA : rAITa biliphathI. pelI vANiyAnI vAta phITa thaI mAMsanA locAvALI. dAdAzrI : vANiyAne kahe to strIne nekeDa jovAnI game nahIM. enI buddhi bahu sarasa kahevAya. mane tarata samajaNa paDI jAya ke AnI draSTi keTalI UMcI che. ane vAIphanA saMbaMdhamAM mAMsanA locA dekhAya ne kAyama cItarI caDhatI hatI ene !!! sATha varase ene cItarI caDhatI hatI, te sAruM kahevAya ne ?! nahIM to cItarI nA caDhe. e bUmo, matatI ja ? praznakartA H aMdarathI je bUma pADe ke 'joI lo. joI lo.' e koNa che ? koI strI bAtharUmamAM nahAtI hoya ke koI viSaya bhogavatuM hoya to ? dAdAzrI : e to roMga biliphavALuM mana ja kahe. pachI prApta thayeluM jJAna, te vakhate AvIne roke ke Ama nA thavuM joIe. A badhI roMga bilipho che. jagatane khabara ja nathI ke A zuM che te ! bilipho ja roMga che. so vakhata roMga biliphane sAcI mAnI hoya to so vakhata ene bhAMgavI paDe, AThaso vakhata karyuM hoya to AThaso vakhata ne dasa vakhata karyuM hoya to dasa vakhata. mitrAcArImAM pharIe ne pelA kaheze ohoho kevAM che, kevAM 172 samajathI prApta brahmacarya che ! to ApaNe ya mahIM kahIe ke kevAM che ! ema karatAM karatAM strI bhogavAI gaI. manamAM vicAra Ave, te vicAra enI meLe ja AvyA kare, to ene ApaNe pratikramaNathI dhoI nAkhavAnuM. pachI vANImAM evuM bolavuM nahIM ke, viSayo sevavA e bahu sArA che ane vartanamAM evuM rAkhavuM nahIM. strIonI sAme draSTi mAMDavI nahIM. strIone jovI nahIM, aDavuM nahIM. strIone aDI gayA hoIe to ya manamAM pratikramaNa thaI javuM joIe, ke "arere, Ane kyAM aDyo !" kAraNa ke sparzathI viSayanI badhI asaro thAya che. praznakartA : e tiraskAra karyo nA kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : e tiraskAra nA kahevAya. pratikramaNamAM to ApaNe enA AtmAne kahIe chIe ke 'amArI bhUla thaI gaI, pharI AvI bhUla nA thAya evI zakti Apajo." enAM ja AtmAne evuM kahevAnuM ke mane zaktio Apajo. jyAM ApaNI bhUla thaI hoya tyAM ja zakti mAgavAnI eTale e zakti maLyA kare. praznakartA: koI strI ApaNI pAse AvIne bese to emane ApaNe kahI zakAya ke bena, tame ahIMthI UThIne tyAM beso ? dAdAzrI : nA, evuM ApaNe zA mATe kahevAnuM? ApaNI pAse bese eTale kaMI ApaNA khoLAmAM bese che ? praznakartA : nA, nA, ahIM ApaNI sAthe. dAdAzrI : sAthe bese to ApaNe zuM ? ApaNe ApaNI draSTi judI, kaMI levAdevA nahIM. e to gADImAM bese ja che ne ? gADImAM zuM karIe ? ahIM ApaNe khaseDIe ke tyAM beso, paNa gADImAM zuM karAya ? are, bhIDamAM ya besavuM paDe. ApaNane thAka lAgyo hoya to zuM karIe ? praznakartA H to sparzanI asara thAya ne ? dAdAzrI : te ghaDIe ApaNe mana saMkucita karI nAkhavAnuM. huM A Page #116 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 173 dehathI chUTo chuM, huM 'caMdreza' ya na hoya, e upayoga rahevo joIe, zuddha upayoga rahevo joIe. ko'ka dahADo evuM bane tyAre zuddha upayogamAM ja rahevuM, 'huM 'caMdreza' ya na hoya.' sparza sukhatA jokhamo... sparzasukha mANavAno vicAra Ave to te AvatAMnI pahelAM ja ukheDIne pheMkI devo. jo tarata ukheDIne pheMkI nA de to pahelI sekaMDe jhADa thaI jAya, bIjI sekaMDe ApaNane e pakaDamAM le ne trIjI sekaMDe pachI phAMsIe caDhavAno vAro Ave. hisAba nA hoya to Tace ya nA thAya. strI-puruSa eka rUmamAM hoya to ya, vicAre ya nA Ave. praznakartA : Ape kahyuM ke hisAba che, tethI AkarSaNa thAya che. to te hisAba pahelethI kevI rIte ukheDI devAya ? dAdAzrI : e to te ghaDIe, ona dhI momenTa kare to ja jAya. pahelethI nA thAya. manamAM vicAra Ave ne ke 'strI mATe bAjumAM jagyA rAkhIe.' te tarata ja e vicArane ukheDI devuM. 'hetu zuM che' te joI levAnuM. ApaNA siddhAMtane anurUpa che ke siddhAMtanI viruddha che. siddhAMtanI viruddha hoya to tarata ja ukheDIne pheMkI devuM. e strI bAjumAM besatAM pahelAM ApaNe sagavaDa rAkhIe chIe, e vicAra Ave tyAMthI ja ukheDIne pheMkI devuM. pachI e strI besatAM sudhI to e vicArane ApaNe jhADa jeTaluM karI nAkhIe chIe. pachI e nA pAchuM phare. praznakartA : evuM nakkI to che ke mAre viSaya bhogavavo nathI, paNa koI chokarI ke koI chokaro mArA para viSaya bhogave, mane sparza kare, basamAM utaratAM-caDhatAM, besatAM, game tyAM, to pachI mane vAMdho nathI. mAre viSaya bhogavavo nathI. AvA vicAro Ave che. dAdAzrI : to to sAruM kahevAya ne (!) praznakartA H te vakhate mArI to sephasAIDa che ne, huM to viSaya 174 samajathI prApta brahmacarya bhogavato ja nathI. mAre sparza karavo ja nathI. paNa e sAmethI sparza kare, to pachI huM zuM karuM ? dAdAzrI : barAbara. sApa jANI joIne aDe, tene ApaNe zuM karIe ?(!) aDavAnuM kema game, puruSa ke strIne ? jyAM narI gaMdha ja che, tyAM aDavAnuM kema game ? strI sparza lAge viSa sama ! praznakartA : paNa sparza karatI vakhate A kazuM AmAnuM yAda nathI AvatuM. dAdAzrI : hA, e yAda zenuM Ave paNa ? te ghaDIe to e sparza karatI vakhate, eTaluM badhuM poIjhanasa hoya che e sparza, eTalo badho poIjhanasa hoya che, te mana-buddhi-citta-ahaMkAra badhAM upara AvaraNa AvI jAya che. mANasa bebhAna banI jAya che. jAnavara ja joI lo ne te ghaDIe ! praznakartA : e vakhate eno phorsa eTalo badho joradAra hoya che, ene kAraNe mUrchita thaI jAya che. dAdAzrI : huM ! evuM che ne ke A dArU to pIdhA pachI caDe che ane A to hAtha aDADavAthI ja caDI jAya che. dArU to pIdhA pachI aDadhA kalAka pachI mahIM manamAM guMgaLATa thayA kare ane A to hAtha aDADe ke tarata ja mahIM caDI jAya che. tarata, vAra nahIM. eTale ame to nAnapaNamAM ja, A anubhava jotAnI sAthe ja gabharAmaNa thaI gayelI ke arere, A zuM thaI jAya che ? A to manuSyapaNuM maTI hevAnapaNuM thaI jAya che. mANasamANasa maTIne hevAna thaI jAya che. thoDIvAra pachI mANasapaNuM rahetuM hoya to vAMdho nahIM. eTaluM kaMIke ya ApaNu e rahetuM hoya, majhA-maryAdA, to vAMdho nahIM, paNa A to maryAdA ja nahIM rahetI ane ame to anaMta avatAranA brahmacaryanA rAgI eTale amane A game nahIM. paNa nA chUTake badhuM thayeluM. thoDo ghaNo saMsAra bhogavyo haze, te paNa nA chUTakAno. arucipUrvaka, prArabdha lakhela ! nA zobhe A to ! eTale tame mahApuNyazALI kahevAo ke tamane dAdAnI pAse tamane brahmacaryavrata maLyuM. Page #117 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 175 ane dAdAno Teko ane pAchuM A jJAna. te A jJAna nA hoya ne, brahmacarya Take nahIM. A jJAna, 'huM zuddhAtmA chuM' evuM bhAna thayeluM che eTale brahmacarya Take che ane kharuM brahmacarya kyAre Takaze, rahevAnuM tyAM juduM haze tyAre, tyAM pachI emanuM A thoDA vakhatamAM rahevAnuM juduM ja thaI javAnuM ane to ja kharuM brahmacarya ne to ja moDhA upara tejI Avaze. tyAM sudhI to A havAmAna-vAtAvaraNa asara karyA kare. praznakartA: pelI sparzanI vAta karI ne, te varte che evuM, to pachI karavuM zuM ? eno upAya zuM ? eTale A sparzamAM sukha nathI e badhI vAta pote jANe paNa chatAM ya vartanamAM jyAre sparza thAya tyAre emAM sukha lAge. dAdAzrI : e lAge paNa te to ApaNe tarata kADhI nAkhIe ne, ApaNane zuM ? e sukha lAgyuM, e to ApaNI bilIpha che tethI, nahIM to bIjAne to Ama sparza thatAMnI sAthe jhera jevuM lAge. keTalAMka mANasa to A aDe ya nahIM. strIne aDe nahIM, jhera jevuM lAge. kAraNa ke e eNe evo bhAva karyo che. pelo sparzane sukha mAnato hoya evo mAla bharelo che. e benA judA judA bharelAM che, eTale ene A janmamAM AvuM thAya che. jhere ya nA lAgavuM joIe ane sukhe ya nA lAgavuM joIe. ame jema sahaja rIte, Ama jema puruSonI mAphaka ame aDIe chIe bIjAne, evI rIte rahevuM joIe. e viSayamAM kaMI strI doSita nathI. e ApaNo doSa che. strIno doSa nathI. praznakartA : "strIne sparza karavAmAM sukha che" e je bilIpha che, e kevI rIte UDADavAnI ? dAdAzrI : e bilIpha to A dasa jaNa bolyA, eTale bilIpha besI gaI. tyAM tyAgIo bolyA hota ne to bilIpha beThelI hota to ya UThI jAta. kAraNa ke bilIpha beThelI che. sAcI jagyAe beThI che ke khoTI jagyAe ? jalebI to svAdiSTa lAge, emAM to tAjI jalebI hoya, svAdiSTa lAge ke nA lAge ? ghInI hoya to ! 176 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : jJAnI puruSa pAse samajI levuM joIe. A lokonI pAse samajyA temAM ! kavio to badhAM Ama vakhANa kare. paga to keLa jevA, paga ne phalANuM AvuM bole. paNa ema nahIM vicAra karato ke mUMA saMDAsa jAya te ghaDIe kema Ama nathI joDe besato. A to badhAM sahu sahunuM gAya. jJAnI puruSa dekhADene tyAre aruci thAya nahIM. praznakartA : A badhI vAta ApanI barAbara. A zraddhAmAM paNa beTheluM che paNa chatAM ya vartanamAM pelo sparza karavAnuM thaI jAya che. dAdAzrI : vartanamAM to A mAnyatA chene roMga, mAnyatA enuM phaLa ApyA vagara jAya nahIM ne ! e DiscArja mAnyatA che. eka phero mAnelI vastuo sAva viruddha, kharAba hoya to paNa mAnyatA jAya nahIM ne ! eTale ApaNe kADhavI paDe ke Ama nahIM paNa A khoTuM che. praznakartA : eTale ema kahI zakAya ke haju ruci che. dAdAzrI : nA evuM nahIM. A roMga bilIpho haju rahI gaI che mahIM. eTale nikAla karI nAkhavAno Ama. peluM "AmAM sukha che' evI roMga bilIpha je besI gaI che lokonA kahevAthI, te AmAM rahI gaI che. te AmAM enuM kaMI A jema jema Avaze ema nikAla karI nAkhIzuM. praznakartA : e bilIphano nikAla kevI rIte karavo ? dAdAzrI : 'nhoya mArI' ema kahIne ja, e ApaNuM hoya. e bilIphano nikAla ja thaI jAya emAM. banne sparzatI asaromAM bhinnatA ! praznakartA: strIne jyAre sparza thAya che, tyAre enA paramANuo ekadama asara kare che. tyAre jJAnI puruSane paNa sparza karIe chIe, to jJAnI puruSanA je paramANuo che e asara to kare ja che, paNa eTalA phorsavALA jaNAtA nathI, enuM zuM kAraNa ? dAdAzrI : e to paramANu asara to, ene lIdhe ne ? jevAM paramANu praznakartA : lAge. Page #118 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 178 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : A to sparza thaI jAya enI vAta che. aDavAno to kicitmAtra bhAva nA hoya paNa sparza thaI jAya. dAdAzrI : sparza thaI jAya to pachI ApaNe pratikramaNa karavuM tarata. praznakartA : jayAre jJAnI puruSane sparza karavAthI ? dAdAzrI : e to bahu e kyAM hAI levalanuM ane asara thatAM thatAM to keTalo kALa jAya. samajathI prApta brahmacarya hoya evI asara thAya. ciMtAtura hoya to ene jo aDIe, to ciMtAtura karI nAkhe, evAM paramANu UbhAM thaI jAya. jevAM paramANu hoya evI asara thAya. praznakartA : paNa pelAmAM amane anubhava thAya che. AmAM eTaluM aSTa jaNAtuM nathI, enuM zuM kAraNa ? dAdAzrI : hA, e to dareka enA pariNAmo che. paramANunI asara thayA vagara rahe ja nahIM. devatAne aDe to devatA ane A baraphane aDe to barapha, enAmAM je paramANu che, enI asara tarata ja thAya. ene aDatI vakhate upayoga na hoya to vAta judI che, badhA potapotAnA paramANuno svabhAva batAvyA vagara rahe nahIM. praznakartA : pelAmAM tarata khabara paDI jAya che, AkhuM badhuM Ama AkhuM aMtaHkaraNa DahoLAI jAya che. dAdAzrI : e to DahoLAI jAya badhuM ya ! praznakartA : jyAre AmAM tarata khabara nahIM paDatI, enuM zuM kAraNa ? dAdAzrI : e zI rIte khabara paDe, e hAI levala paramANu zI rIte khabara paDe jaldI. DahoLAI gayelAM hoya to tarata khabara paDI jAya. praznakartA : pelI je negeTIva asara thAya che paramANunI, e khabara praznakartA : athavA mArAmAM paNa bhUla hoI zake ne ke A paramANuo to ekadama AvI rahyA che. amane lAbha kare che, e so e so TakA vAta nakkI che. dAdAzrI : e lAbha ja kare paNa te khabara nA paDe ! praznakartA : mane e prazna che ke e khabara kema nathI paDatI ? dAdAzrI : e evI jADI asara nathI ke tamane khabara paDI jAya, zuM kahyuM? e bahu sUkSma asaro che ane A to jADI asara, tamane khabara paDI jAya evI. A baraphanI ne e to nAnA chokarAMne ya khabara paDI jAya. evuM A tamane bIjI asara paDI jAya. A asara khabara nA paDe. paNa saravALe ekaMdare mahIM Ama nirAkuLatA karyA kare. praznakartA : A jevuM sparzanuM che ema draSTi jyAre maLe che tyAre paNa evuM thAya che. dAdAzrI : draSTi maLe to ya evI asara thAya. evuM che ne eka ja Tebala upara strI-puruSa badhAM khAya che kharAM. eka jAtano khorAka khAya che, paNa strInAmAM strI paramANu rUpe tarata badalAI ja jAya che. puruSanAmAM puruSanA hisAbe paramANu tarata badalAI jAya. bIjanA svabhAva pramANe thAya. praznakartA : paNa e sAthe jamavA bese che, khorAka sarakho le che, to e paramANuo judA aMdara pheraphAra thavAnuM zuM kAraNa ? dAdAzrI : julAbanI davA jema laIe enA jevI. praznakartA: AmAM evuM nahIM ? dAdAzrI : AmAM nA hoya. A to bahu dhImI asara kare, dhImI asara kare, UMcA mArge laI javAnuM ne ! peluM to ene pADI devAnuM nIce, sIDI asara, slIpIMga kahevAya. slopa, lapasatuM ane A UMce javuM. UMce jatuM to bahu jora kare tyAre eka Ica khase ane peluM to lapasI paDavAnuM to che ja mAla, banatA sudhI aDavuM nahIM, upayoga hoya, game eTalo upayoga majabUta hoya to ya ApaNe aDavuM nahIM. Page #119 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 179 dAdAzrI : pheraphAra thaI jAya tarata, bIja pramANe. jevuM mahIM bIja hoya ne e pramANe. A khorAka to eka jAtano paNa bIja pramANe pheraphAra paDe. A pANI pIe paNa bhIMDAnuM bIja hoya to bhIMDo ja utpanna thAya ane tuveranuM bIja hoya to tuvera utpanna thAya, pANI tenuM te ja, jamIna tenI te ja. eTale A puruSane mAsika dharma to Avyo nathI, nahIM to Avyo hoya tyAre khabara paDe A zuM che e ? mAsika dharma to keTalI badhI muzkelIvALo e che ! ane keTaluM badhuM emAMthI azuci nIkaLe che. e azuci sAMbhaLe to ya mANasa gAMDo thaI jAya. paNa strI kahe nahIM koI dahADo ya, zuM azuci nIkaLe che ? eTale dhaNI bicAro jANe kazuM ja nathI. 180 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : ophIsamAM kAma karatAM hoIe ne to pelI vyakti jAya, tyAre ja ApaNI najara UMcI thAya. dAdAzrI : hA, eTale tyAM hisAba che. mATe tyAM AgaLa pratikramaNa kara kara karyA karavuM. eTale atikramaNathI tyAM AgaLa vIMTAyuM che ne pratikramaNathI toDI nAkho. atikramaNa eTale pahelAM draSTio karI che, tenAM pratikramaNa karIe to uDI jAya. koI paNa cIja para AkarSaNa che jyAM sudhI draSTimAM, tyAM sudhI ene moha che. pelo moha gayo. darzanamoha gayo, cAritramoha rahyo. e to kaMIka e jovAthI ja jo pheraphAra thaI jato hoya to bhIMtane joIne kema nathI thato ? vacce koI jAnavara che ke je Ama pheraphAra karAvaDAve che. kayuM jAnavara ? moha nAmanuM ! praznakartA : e to jeTalI potAnI jAgRti hoya tyAre khyAla Ave ke aMdara kaMIka pheraphAra thayo che, nahIM to keTaluM badhuM thaI jAya tyAM sudhI khyAla paNa nA Ave ke A pheraphAra thayo che. khabara ja nA paDe. dAdAzrI : bhAna ja nathI, ene khyAlanuM kyAM rahyuM ? A zuM thaI rahyuM che ? te ya bhAna nahIM. moha-kapaTanA paramANu judA aMdara. strInA hisAbe thaI jAya. utpanna te pariNAma pAme. e dUdhapAka hoya ke jalebI hoya e strInA bIja pramANamAM pariNAma pAme. puruSa bIja hoya to puruSanA bIja pramANe pariNAma pAme. enI hada hoya. amuka hada sudhI puruSanA bIjano moha hoya, enI hadanI bahAra nA hoya. praznakartA: A je paramANuo che enuM sAyansa zuM che kharekhara ? dAdAzrI : sAyansa eTale A paramANu hoya to negeTIva paramANu du:khadAyI hoya ane pojhITIva hoya to sukhadAyI hoya. negeTIva sensanA badhA paramANu du:khadAyI hoya, ene azuddha kahevAya ane pojhITIva zuddha kahevAya. sukha ja Ape, pojhITIva. AkarSaNa e che moha ! praznakartA : koI strI bAjumAM beThI hoya ane Ama vadhAre paDatuM kaMI thAya. to Dara lAge, tame kaMI khoTuM karo cho, evuM rItasaranuM aMdarathI lAge. paNa te chatAM haju kheMcAI jAya che. dAdAzrI : e to karmanA udaya tamane kheMce che ne ! te tamAre haju jovuM paDe ke karmanA udaya ahIM kheMce che. badhA upara nA kheMce. cAra beThelI hoya, ekanI upara kheMcAya ne bIjI badhI para nA kheMcAya. eTale hisAba che, pahelAMno pAchalo. AkarSaNa-moha nA hovo joIe. pachI bIjA gunAone mApha karIe, ovara phalo thayuM hoya ke evuM tevuM badhuM thayuM hoya, tene mApha karIe ame. amAre evuM kazuM nathI ke tamane gunegAra ja banAvavA che. ame samajIe ke gharamAM rahIne A pramANe rahevuM, e muzkela che. praznakartA : paNa rahI zakAya evuM che. dAdAzrI : rahI zakAya evuM che. paNa emanuM judu ToLuM hoya, enI vAta ja judI che! praznakartA: A vAtAvaraNamAM chIe tyAM sudhI cokkasa rAkhavuM eTale TesTa to thAyane ? Page #120 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 181 182 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : paNa bhUla to karelI tyAre ja mahIM AvyuM ne ! eka vicAra paNa Ave, ene zI rIte bhAMgavuM, te AvaDavuM joIe ne ! ene Akho dahADo pUro che te emAM kADhavo paDe, babbe kalAka. tyAre chedAya. nahIM to nA chedAya. e bAMdhatA kaMI vicAra ja nahIM karyA ne ! AkhI rAta UMdho sUI jaI ne pachI AkhI rAta vicAra karyA kare. praznakartA : A UMdhA paDIne vicAra karIe, eTale samajAyuM nahIM kahe che. dAdAzrI : TesTa kharekharo thAya ! paNa ApaNuM jJAna evuM che ! Ama jarAka AkarSaNa thAya te Ama bIja paDyuM ke ukheDIne pheMkI de haDahaDATa ! pachI pratikramaNa karI nAkhe tarata. evuM ApaNuM vijJAna sarasa che. AkarSaNa tyAM jokhama jANa ! strI agara viSayamAM ramaNatA karIe, dhyAna karIe, nididhyAsana karIe to e gAMTha paDI jAya viSayanI. pachI zenAthI ogaLe e ? tyAre kahe, viSayanA viruddha vicArothI ogaLI jAya. mANasa eka phakta ATaluM ja sAcave to ya koI paNa viSaya-AkarSaNa thAya tyAM AgaLa che te tarata ja pratikramaNa karI nAkhe. to enuM AgaLa khAtuM cokkasa rahe. saheja be miniTa vAra lagADe to pachI ugI nIkaLe. eTale A to pratikramaNa baMdha thAya, nahIM to A baMdha ja nA thAyane ! pachI patana thAya to jokhamadArI rahetI nathI. paNa jyAM AgaLa bhAna ja nA hoya, tyAM AgaLa pachI AkarSaNa thayuM to pachI tyAM ema ne ema badhuM paDI rahe pAchuM. eTale jotAMnI sAthe AkarSaNa thAya, enI sAthe enuM AlocanA-pratikramaNapratyAkhyAna ane avaLA vicArone kApavA to tare, nahIM to koI tare ja nahIM AmAMthI, eTale bahu UMDo khADo che A to. e zAthI AkarSaNa thAya ke pUrve ajJAnatAthI, A ApaNane samajaNa nahIM, tethI enI joDe che te e ramaNatA karelI che. eTale pharI AkarSaNa UbhuM thAya. eTale ApaNe samajI javAnuM ke have Ane kaMI hisAba che A. dAdAzrI : ene kaMIka eTrekTiva lAgyuM, eTale pachI tyAM che te UMdho paDIne vicAra ja karyA kare. e pachI ramaNatA karyA kare. have pelI to jatI rahI. to have zuM karavA ramaNatA kare che ? tyAre kahe, UMdho paDIne mUo ramaNatA kare, mahIM e TesTa Avene eka jAtano. have jo ramaNatA brahmacarya thAya paNa tethI pachI kArya brahmacarya thAya. patana kyAre thAya ? ramaNatA abrahmacarya thAya tyArathI thAya. tAre AvI rIte kaMI Dakho nahIM ne, zrI vijhana rahe ne ? praznakartA : to ya koI vAra kAcuM paDI jAya. dAdAzrI : ema ! te ghaDIe DAbA hAthathI jamaNA gAlane dhola mArI dauM ?! tyAre zuM karuM ? 'zuM samaje che ?' karIne eka ApI devI. viSaya ramaNatA karI hoya tene pratikramaNa karIne dhoI nAkhavuM, pachI dAMta-bAMta toDI nAkhIe to zuM dekhAya, evuM tevuM badhuM jovuM joIe. zrI vijhana to kahevAya ne. praznakartA : paNa zrI vijhana jovA chatAM ya e pAchuM ne pAchuM yAda Ave che. dAdAzrI : e yAda e to mananuM kAma che, tAre zuM jAya che ? tAre 'joyA ja karavAnuM. praznakartA H to enA parathI ema jaNAya che ke hajI e tUTyuM nathI. praznakartA : e khabara paDe kharI paNa chatAM e pharI pharI vicAra AvyA kare. dAdAzrI : hA. paNa vicAra Ave eTale pharI ene, e vicAro Ave, e badhA bhAMgavA paDe, jema jema AvatA jAya ema bhAMgatA jAya, AvatA jAya ema bhAMgatA jAya. pratyeka joIne pratikramaNa karavuM paDe. praznakartA : e samajAya kharuM ke keTalI moTI bhUla karI hatI ! Page #121 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 183 184 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : paNa thaI jAya bhUlecUke evuM, to mane AvIne tarata kahevuM. kAraNa ke eka ja Taca thavAthI aMdara IlekTrisITInuM eTrekazana je thAya che, te pachI amAre kADhavI paDe IlekTrisITI. praznakartA H huM keTalAM varSothI mArka karuM chuM ke huM beTho houM to mArI najIkamAM koI strI Ave ja nahIM. mArAthI Ama Aghu rahe ! dAdAzrI : bahu sAruM. eTaluM sAruM che. moTI puNya lAvyA cho. praznakartA H huM koI paNa strI joDe vAta karuM, oLakhItuM hoya ke game te hoya, paNa enI sAme Ama najara milAvIne kyAreya nathI vAta karato. dAdAzrI : tUTe zI rIte paNa ? e to enuM badhuM kasa nIkaLI jaze tyAre chUTuM thaze. jeTalo kasa bharelo che, tyAM sudhI ApaNe joyA ja karavAnuM. praznakartA : lAMbA vicAro Ave, emAM tanmayAkAra thaI javAya. dAdAzrI : vicAra to Ave, e to jyAM sudhI lAMbuM che eTale vicAra AvyA ja kare. eno hisAba pUro thAya eTale mana baMdha thaI jAya, e pachI bIjuM pakaDe. praznakartA : paNa e hisAba kyAre pate ? dAdAzrI : hajI to badhuM bahu pAra vagaranuM. hajI to kaMI hisAbe ya nathI. haju to A pAzerInI pahelI pUNI khasI che. paNa A ahIMthI jhaTa kApI nAkhe tene kazuM ya nathI bahu. dekhAyuM tyAMthI pratikramaNa kare ane pachI pelI ramaNatAmAM nA paDe, rAte kazeya. jarAya eno vicAra Avyo ke ramaNatAmAM paDavAnuM nIce, slipa thayuM kahevAya. e to ramaNatAthI ja A badhA doSa UbhAM thayA che ne ! eTale emAM UMdhA thaIne pachI bhogavI le, e huM jouM chuM ne ! draSTi badalAya pachI ramaNatA cAlu thAya. draSTi badalAya to enuM kAraNa che, enI pAchaLa gayA avatAranA kojhijha che. tethI karIne badhAnuM joIne draSTi badalAtI nathI. amukane jue tyAre draSTi badalAya che. kaoNjhIjha hoya, eno AgaLano hisAba cAlu Avato hoya che ane pachI ramaNatA thAya to jANavuM ke vadhAre moTo hisAba che eTale tyAM vadhAre jAgRti rAkhavI. enI joDe pratikramaNanA tIra mAra mAra karavA. AlocanApratikramaNa ne pratyAkhyAna jabarajasta hoya. tiyama AkarSaNa-vikarSaNa taNA ! sparza thAya ke evuM tevuM thAya to mane AvIne kahevuM ne huM tarata cokhkhuM karI ApuM. praznakartA : nA, e koI dahADo kyAMya nahIM. dAdAzrI : barobara che. e bahu sAruM che. A to huM tamane cetavI rahyo ke vakhate Ama Ama bhUlecUke hAtha aDI gayo hoyane, to mane kahevuM, strI jAti jANI-joIne ghasAya che, ghaNI vakhata to. praznakartA : e IlekTrisITI kevI hoya ? e tame kahyuM ne ke IlekTrisITI mAre dhovI paDe evI hoya. dAdAzrI : enA paramANanI asara thaI jAya ema. eTekazananA vadhatA jAya paramANu ane AMkhe dekhyAnA paramANu sUkSma hoya ane sUkSmamAMthI zULa UbhuM thAya ane pachI emAMthI kheMcANa thAya. AkarSaNa vadhatuM ja jAya. AkarSaNa vadhatuM, te pachI enuM vikarSaNa thAya. vikarSaNa thavAnuM thAya eTale pahelA kArya thAya. pachI vikarSaNa thayA kare. kArya zaru thayuM tyArathI vikarSaNa zaru thAya. kAryanI zaruAta sudhI AkarSaNa thayA kare ane kArya puruM thAya eTale vikarSaNa thayA kare. AvuM paramANunuM eTrekazana che. have vAMdho nA Ave. dAdA mAthe che. dAdA mArA mAthe che. evuM mAthe bole to ya rAge paDI jAya. praznakartA : A paramANunuM navuM vijJAna kahyuM. dAdAzrI : e to badhuM kahevA jevuM nahIM. bahAra kahevA jevuM nahIM. Page #122 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 186 samajathI prApta brahmacarya 185 A to khAnagI lokone jarUriyAta hoya eTalI ja vAta karavAnI ane bahAra kahIne eno zuM artha che ? loko, jagata aDyA vagara rahevAnuM nathI. praznakartA: to e sparzathI paramANuo kyAM sudhI ene nIce ghasaDI jAya che ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya che, bahu majhAnuM che ema mAnIne naryA pAra vagaranAM badhAM bIja paDe che. praznakartA : keTalAMkane to emAM ruci ja nathI hotI, ruci utpanna ya nathI thatI ane keTalAMkane e ruci vadhAre paDatI paNa hoya che. e pUrvanuM ja laIne Avelo che ne ? dAdAzrI : hA eTale paramANunuM eTrekzana badhuM kAma kare che. e to bicArAne hAthamAM ja nathI rahetIne sattA ane vikarSaNa thAya te chUTavuM nA hoya to ya e paramANu ja pote vikarSaNa karAvaDAve, chUTAM pADe. praznakartA : vikarSaNa thAya eTale paramANu ja pote chUTA karAvaDAve. dAdAzrI : hA, pote ja vikarSaNa karAvaDAve che, ene amala ApIne. praznakartA : eTale kaI rItanA ? dAdAzrI : eno amala phaLa ApI ane pote ja vikarSaNa svarUpa thaI paDe che. praznakartA : eTale eno niyama ja che ke A AkarSaNa thAya eTale pachI enuM A vikarSaNa pariNAma Ave ja. - dAdAzrI : AkarSaNa-vikarSaNa e niyama ja che, AkarSaNa kyAM sudhI kahevAya ? vikarSaNa bheguM nA thAya tyAM sudhI phaLa nA Ape. vikarSaNano saMjoga bhego thAya eTale phaLa ApavAnuM zaru kare. praznakartA : AkarSaNa phaLa ApavAnuM zaru kare, pachI zuM ? dAdAzrI : pachI khalAsa thaI gayuM ! mANasa marI gayo. tamAre koI vAMdho nahIM. ekavAra bhogavyo ke gayo ! A viSaya e evI vastu che ke manane ane cittane je rIte jatuM hoya, te rIte nathI rahevA detuM ne eka phero AmAM paDe ke AnI mahIM AnaMda mAnIne UlaTuM cittanuM tyAM ja javAnuM vadhI jAya che ane 'bahu sarasa dAdAzrI : e viSaya ekalo ja evo che ke emAM bahu locA vaLI jAya che. eka phero viSaya bhogavyo ke pachI enuM citta tyAMnuM tyAM ja javAnuM. praznakartA : paNa e pUrvanuM laIne Avelo hoya evuM ? dAdAzrI : enuM citta tyAMnuM tyAM jatuM rahe, e pUrvanuM laIne nathI Avyo. paNa pachI citta enuM chaTakI ja jAya che, hAthamAMthI ! pote nA kahe to ya chaTakI jAya. eTalA mATe A chokarAo brahmacaryanA bhAvamAM rahe to sAruM ane pachI ema ne ema je smalana thAya, te to galana kahevAya. rAte thaI gayuM, dahADe thaI gayuM, e badhuM galana kahevAya. paNa A chokarAMone jo eka ja phero viSaya aDyo hoya ne, te pachI rAtadahADo enA e ja svapnAM Ave. praznakartA : kharAba vicAra Ave che, te paNa citta vagara Ave che? dAdAzrI : hA, cittane ane vicArane kazI levAdevA nathI. praznakartA : ema mAne ke mane bahArathI koI vastuno vicAra Avyo, to e bahAranI vastu ApaNA cittanuM haraNa kare che. e thayuM ke nA thayuM? dAdAzrI : nA. e be vastunuM belensa nathI. A hoya to A hovuM saMbhave evuM nathI. banatAM sudhI hoya, paNa A hoya to A hoya ja evuM nathI. ghaNAM phero vicAra ekalA hoya cittanuM haraNa nA ya thayuM hoya. ghaNAM phero citta gayuM hoya ane vicAramAM nA hoya. ema hoya ne ema nA paNa hoya. mukta dazAnI pArAzIzI ! tane evo anubhava che ke viSayamAM citta jAya tyAre dhyAna barAbara Page #123 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 187 rahetuM nathI ? praznakartA : citta jo saheja paNa viSayanAM spaMdanone Taca thayeluM hoya to keTalAMya kALa sudhI potAnI sthiratA nA rahevA de ane citta ene aDIne pAchuM chUTI gayuM hoya to potAnI sthiratA jAya nahIM. peluM jo eka ja vakhata Ama 'Ta' thayuM hoya, te ghULamAM nahIM paNa sUkSmamAM paNa thayuM hoya, to paNa e keTalo ya vakhata halAvI nAkhe. dAdAzrI : amAruM citta kevuM haze ?! e koI dahADo sthAnamAMthI chUTyuM ja nathI !!! ame bolIe tyAre niraMtara Ama moralInI peTha DolyA kare. tyAre cittanI prasannatA UbhI thAya. nahIM to moTuM kheMcAI gayeluM hoya, jIbhe ya kheMcAI gayelI hoya, loko to AMkho vAMcIne kahI de ke A kharAba draSTivALo che. jherIlI draSTi hoya tene ya loka kahI de ke AnI AMkhamAM jhera che. evI ja rIte AMkhamAM vItarAgatA che e paNa samajI zake che. loka badhuM samajI zake ema che, paNa dALa-bhAta-roTalI-zAka khAIne vicAre to !! paNa khAIne sUI jAya to nA samaje. huM zuM kahevA mAguM chuM ke jagata AkhAmAM pharo. koI paNa vastu tamArA cittane haraNa na karI zake to tame svataMtra cho. keTalAMya varSathI mArA cittane meM joyuM che ke koI cIja haraNa karI zakatI nathI eTale pachI mArI jAtane huM samajI gayo, huM tadana saMpUrNa svataMtra thayo chuM. manamAM game tevA kharAba vicAra Ave teno vAMdho nathI, paNa cittanuM haraNa nA ja thavuM joIe. bhaTakatI vRtio cittatI ! jeTalI cittavRttio bhaTake teTaluM AtmAne bhaTakavuM paDe. jyAM cittavRtti jAya, te gAma ApaNe javuM paDaze. cittavRtti nakazo dore che. AvatA bhavane mATe javA-AvavAno nakazo dorI nAkhe. e nakazA pramANe pachI ApaNe pharavAnuM. to kyAM kyAM pharI AvatI haze cittavRttio ? praznakartA : paNa citta bhaTake, emAM zuM vAMdho ? dAdAzrI : citta je pramANe plAnIMga (yojanA) kare, te pramANe 188 samajathI prApta brahmacarya ApaNe bhaTakavuM paDaze. mATe javAbadArI ApaNI, jeTaluM bhaTaka bhaTaka kare tenI ! citta cetana che, e jyAM jyAM coMTayuM, tyAM tyAM bhaTaka, bhaTaka, bhaTaka karyA karavuM paDe ! praznakartA : citta jyAM ne tyAM nathI jhalAI jatuM, paNa eka ThekANe jhalAyuM to te Agalo hisAba che ? dAdAzrI : hA, hisAba che to ja jhalAya. paNa ApaNe have zuM karavuM? puruSArtha enuM nAma kahevAya ke hisAba hoya tyAM ya jhalAvA nA de. citta jAya ane dhoI nAkhe tyAM sudhI abrahmacarya gaNAtuM nathI. citta jAya ne dhoI nA nAkhe to e abrahmacarya kahevAya. tethI kahyuM ke, "mATe ceto manabuddhi, nirmaLa rahejo cittazuddhi.' mana-buddhine cetave che. have ApaNe cittavRtti nirmaLa rAkhavA zuM karavuM paDe ? AjJAmAM rahevuM paDe. amAruM citta saMpUrNa zuddha rahe, eTale pachI kazuM aDe ya nahIM ne naDe ya nahIM. tame jema jema AjJAmAM rahetA jazo tema tema pahelAnuM je aDyuM hoya, jema caMdragrahaNa lakheluM hoya che te ATha vAgyAthI te eka vAgyA sudhI, eTale ATha vAgye zarU thAya pachI eka vAgyA pachI pharI caMdranuM grahaNa nathI, evuM AjJAmAM rahyA karo eTale je grahaNa thaI gayeluM che te chUTI jAya ane pachI navuM jokhama UDI jAya. eTale pachI vAMdho nahIM ne ! citatI coMTa, chUTe Ama... je cittane DagAve e badhA ja viSaya che. jJAnanI bahAra je je vastumAM citta jAya che, e badhA ja viSaya che. praznakartA : Ape kahyuM ke vicAra game te Ave teno vAMdho nathI, paNa citta tyAM jAya teno vAMdho che. dAdAzrI : hA, cittanI ja bhAMjagaDa che ne ! citta bhaTake e ja bhAMjagaDane ! vicAra to game tevA haze, e vAMdho nahIM. paNa citta A jJAna maLyA pachI AghuMpAchuM nA thavuM joIe. Page #124 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 189 praznakartA : vakhate evuM thAya to enuM zuM ? dAdAzrI : ApaNe, tyAM AgaLa 'have evuM nA thAya" evo puruSArtha mAMDavo paDe. pahelAM jeTaluM jatuM hatuM eTaluM ja haju paNa jAya che ? praznakartA : nA, eTaluM badhuM slIpa thatuM nathI, chatAM e pUchuM chuM. dAdAzrI : nA, paNa citta to jevuM ja nA joIe. manamAM game tevA kharAba vicAra Avaze teno vAMdho nahIM, ene khaseDa khaseDa karo. enI joDe vAtacItono vyavahAra karo ke phalANo bhego thaI jaze to kyAre e karazo ? enA mATe lArIo, moTo kyAMthI lAvIzuM ? agara to satsaMganI vAta karIe eTale mana pAchuM navA vicAra dekhADaze. pUrve je paryAyonuM khUba vedana karyuM hoya, te atyAre vadhAre Ave. tyAre citta tyAM ja coMTI rahe. jema jema e coMTa dhovAtI jAya tema tema tyAM pachI citta vadhAre nA rahe. coMTe ane chUTuM paDI jAya. aTakaNa Ave ne tyAM ja coMTeluM rahe. tyAre ApaNe zuM kahevuM ? tAre jeTalA nAca karavA hoya eTalA kara. have 'tuM joya ne huM jJAtA' ATaluM kahetAMnI sAthe ja e moDhuM pheravI nAkhaze. e nAce to kharAM, paNa eno TAIma hoya eTalI vAra nAce. pachI jatA rahe. Atma sivAya A jagatamAM bIjuM kaMI ja sarasa nathI. A to pUrve jeno paricaya karelo hoya, e pahelAMno paricaya atyAre Dakho karAve che. vadhAremAM vadhAre citta phasAya zemAM ? viSayamAM ane citta phasAyuM eTaluM aizvarya tUTI gayuM. aizvarya tUTayuM eTale jAnavara thayo. eTale viSaya evI vastu che ke enAthI ja badhuM jAnavarapaNuM AvyuM che. manuSyamAMthI jAnavarapaNuM viSayane lIdhe thayuM che. chatAM ApaNe zuM kahIe chIe ke A to pahelethI saMgharelo mAla che, te nIkaLe to kharo paNa pharI navesarathI saMgharo nahIM karo, e uttama kahevAya. [9] phAIla' sAme kaDakAI ! vikArI draSTi sAme DhAla ! praznakartA : e je mohanI jALa nAkhe to enAthI kevI rIte bacavuM? dAdAzrI : ApaNe draSTi ja nA mAMDIe. ApaNe jANIe ke A jALa kheMcanArI che, eTale enI joDe draSTi ja mAMDavI nahIM. praznakartA : leDIjha joDe AMkhe AMkha nA meLavavI ? dAdAzrI : hA, AMkhe AMkha nA meLavavI ane jyAM ApaNane lAge ke A to ahIM phasAmaNa ja che, tyAM to ene bhegA ja nA thavuM. ApaNane tarata oLakhAyane ke A vasamI che, evuM ? praznakartA : vyavahAramAM ApaNA je oLakhANavALA hoya, te AvIne ApaNI joDe vAta kare to teno ApaNe samabhAve nikAla karavo joIe. paNa emAM enI draSTi kharAba hoya to ApaNe zuM karavuM ? dAdAzrI : to ApaNe nIcuM joIne badhuM kAma karavuM. ApaNe enI AgaLa nAnI uMmaranA hoIe, AmAM bIjuM kazuM samajato nathI evuM karI Page #125 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 192 samajathI prApta brahmacarya vikArI caMcaLatA.... samajathI prApta brahmacarya 191 nAkhavuM. ene ema ja lAge ke A kazuM samajato ja nathI eTale pachI e jatI rahe. tane koI evI bhegI thAya, to e evuM jANe ke A badhuM 'samajI gayelo che ? tuM evuM dekhADavA pharuM ke ? e badhuM babUcakapaNuM kahevAya. vepArIno chokaro vepAra karavA beTho hoya to so rUpiyAnI cIjano so rUpiyAne badale aDhayAsI rUpiyA bhAva bolI gayo hoya, pachI pelo gharAka kahe, mAla kADho joIe. eTale chokaro pote samajI jAya ke mArI bolavAmAM bhUla thaI che, eTale te zuM kare ? pelAne kahe ke, "Avo mAla chayAsImAM maLaze ane bIjo chAsaThavALo ya che ane ekaso pAMca rUpiyAvALo ya che." AvuM badhuM bolIe eTale cheda-beda thaIne badhuM UDI jAya ne pelo samajI jAya ke A vAta badhI judI che. evI rIte AmAM ya sAmI vyaktine khabara paDe ke A pAraMgata nathI. ApaNe pAraMgata chIe ke nahIM evuM e ekavAra joI le. pAraMgata nathI evI khabara paDI ke rAge paDI gayuM. pachI e choDI de ane babUcaka thayo ke enuM badhuM gayuM, pelI phasAvI mAre. ApaNuM mana jo herAna thaI jAya to ApaNe buddhi vAparavI ke 'tArAmAM akkala nathI.' evuM kahIe eTale e enI meLe ja bhAgI jAya. paNa bhAgI gaI eTale pharI davA copaDavI paDaze. e bhagADavAmAM phAyado nathI, paNa e to nA chUTake. ApaNuM mana herAna thaI jAya tyAre evuM karavuM paDe. nahIM to evA joDe draSTi ja nA mAMDIe, to basa thaI gayuM. sauthI sArAmAM sAruM, draSTi ja nA mAMDIe, nIcuM joI javuM, AghopAchA thaI javuM, e badho saraLa mArga. kheMcANamAM taNAvuM nahIM, AMkha kheMcAya tyAMthI cheTA rahevuM. bIje jyAM sIdhI AMkho hoya tyAM badhe vyavahAra karavo, paNa AMkha kheMcAya tyAM jokhama che, lAla vAvaTo che. koInI joDe draSTi milAvIne vAta karavI nahIM, nIcI draSTi rAkhIne ja vAta karavI. draSTithI ja bagaDe che. e draSTimAM viSa hoya che ane viSa pachI caDhe che. eTale draSTi maMDAI hoyane, najara kheMcAI hoya to tarata pratikramaNa karI levuM. ahIM to cetatA ja rahevuM joIe. jene A jIvana bagaDavA nA devuM hoya eNe bivera rahevuM. jANI-joIne koI kUvAmAM paDe kharuM ?' ApaNe ahIM cA pIto hoya, khAto hoya, badhuM karato hoya to ya bahAra dharmadhyAna rahe ane aMdara zukladhyAna rahe. koIkane ja nikAcita karmavALo hoya tenuM ja mana vikArI thAya, tyAre e lapasyo kahevAya. nikAcita karmavALo ko'ka hoya AmAM. tene vikArI vicAra Ave. e caMcaLatAvALo hoya. caMcaLa thaI gayelo hoya. caMcaLa tamane oLakhAya ke nA oLakhAya ? Ama joto hoya, tema joto hoya. ene kahIe ke 'bhaI, kema Ama thaI gayo bA.' tyAre kahe ke vikArI vicAra Avyo eTale caMcaLa thaI gayo. ane eTale dharmadhyAna ane zukaladhyAna beu jAya. bAkI ApaNA mahAtmAone dharmadhyAna ane zukladhyAna beu rahe, pachI bhalene khAya-pIve, oDhIne sUI jAya, lAMbo thaIne sUI jAya. AvA nikAcita karmavALAe amane pUchavuM ke amAre zuM karavuM ? have zI davA copaDavI ? bahu UMDA ghA paDI jAya. evA karmavALA hoya to amane pUchavAmAM vAMdho nahIM. e khAnagImAM pUche eTale ame kahI daIe, ne davA batAvI daIe ke Ama davA copaDaje, eTale ghA rujhAI jAya. phAIla thaI gaI tyAM.... praznakartA : eka ja strI saMbaMdhI vAraMvAra vicAra AvatA hoya to enAM saMbaMdhI rAga che evuM samajavuM. dAdAzrI : e bAMdhelI phAIla che. have vicAra Ave ne pachI UDI jAya. pachI kazuM nA hoya to e phAIla haju bAMdhI nathI, haju navI phAIla lAvyA nathI. pelI to bAMdhelI phAIla, keTalAMya kesa mahIM che. praznakartA : koIvAra pahelAM maLyA nA hoya, oLakhANa nA hoya, khAlI aDadho kalAkanI mulAkAta thaI evA. dAdAzrI : enuM nAma ja phAIla. phAIla eTale ApaNA magajamAM pesI jAya e phAIla kahevAya badhI. praznakartA : A te bhUtanI jema pesI gayuM. Page #126 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 194 samajathI prApta brahmacarya 193 dAdAzrI : hA, bhUtanI peTha pesI jAya. praznakartA : enAM upAya tarIke pratikramaNa to cAle ja che. dAdAzrI : basa e ja. bIjo upAya nahIM ane tyAM AgaLa bahu ja sAvaceta rahevuM paDe, bahu jAgRti rAkhavI paDe. tAre evuM kazuM to nathI ne ! praznakartA : traNa-cAra divasathI enAM e ja vicAro AvyA kare che bhUtanI jema, AvuM pahelAM koI divasa banyuM nathI. dAdAzrI : te sAruM uchuM, traNa-cAra divasathI, paNa amArI hAjarImAM Ave che ne ? A ahIM amArI pAse chuM te vakhate Ave che ne, bahu sAruM niveDo AvI jAya. nIkaLI jAya. satsaMga hoya nahIM, ekalo hau ne e badhuM Ave, to pachI e bIjo mALo race. praznakartA : buddhi pAcho Avo mALo paNa race che. paNa huM UDADI dauM chuM. dAdAzrI : bIjo mALo race. praznakartA : lagna sudhIno. dAdAzrI : hA. badhuM race, eTale cetatA rahevAnuM che. have bivera borDa mAravA, cora gajavAmAMthI lUMTI jaze teno vAMdho nathI. e to pharI Avaze paNa A lUMTAyo ! eka dahADAnuM zuM phaLa maLe, kharekhara luMTAya tyAre. eka dahADAmAM A lUMTAya to zuM phaLa maLe ? praznakartA : pAzavatA kahevAya, adhogati. dAdAzrI : haM. bivera lakhI rAkhavuM, jyAM ne tyAM. bIjuM kaMI AkhI duniyA joDe sAcavavAnuM nathI. jyAM kheMcANa thatuM hoya eTaluM ja sAcavavAnuM che ! kheMcANa karanAruM koNa ? bahu tyAre pAMca, dasa ke paMdara hoya. bahu hoya nahIM... eTaluM ja sAcavavAnuM. bIjAne to khoLAmAM besIe to ya nA kheMcAya. evuM sephasAIDavALuM jagata che A. tamAruM pAMca, dasa ke paMdara hoya, bahu chelachabIlo hoya tene pacAsa hoya. samajathI prApta brahmacarya sAme "phAIla' Ave tyAre... praznakartA : amuka TAIme e samaja rahetI nathI. dAdAzrI : ApaNo phorsa tUTI jAya, to e samaja uDI jAya. te ApaNo nizcaya tUTI jAya eTale samaja uDI jAya. ApaNA nizcayane laIne ja rahe, nahIM to pudgala evuM nathI bicAruM. pudgalane sAruM-kharAba nathI lAgatuM. e to 'bahu sArI vastu, sArI vastu, sArI vastu che,' ema karyuM eTale pachI e dhakko mAre. 'kharAba che, kharAba che ema karIe to pachI peluM tUTI jAya. jyAM mana kheMcAtuM hoya, te phAIla Ave te ghaDIe mana caMcaLa ja rahyA kare. te ghaDIe mana caMcaLa thAya ne amane mahIM bahu duHkha thAya. AnuM mana caMcaLa thayuM hatuM. eTale mArI AMkha kaDaka thaI jAya. phAIla Ave te ghaDIe mahIM kUdAkUda karI mela. upara jAya, nIce jAya, upara jAya, nIce jAya. enA vicAra AvatAMnI sAthe, e to mahIM naryo gaMdavADo bharelo che, kacaro mAla che. mahIM AtmAnI ja kiMmata che ! phAIla gerahAjara hoya ne yAda rahe to bahu jokhama kahevAya. phAIla gerahAjara hoya to yAda nA rahe paNa e Ave ke tarata asara kare e sekaMDarI jokhama. ApaNe enI asara thavA ja nA daIe. svataMtra thavAnI jarUra. ApaNI te ghaDIe lagAma ja tUTI jAya. pachI lagAma rahe nahIM ne ! lAkaDAnI pUtaLI, sArI ! eka bhUla nA thavI joIe. phAIla hoya ne saMDAsa javA beThI hoyane kaheze ke dhoI Apa. to zuM kaheze ? dhoI Ape badhA ? praznakartA: jovAnuM ja nA game, to dhovAnuM zuM game ?' dAdAzrI : tuM to dhoI ApuM hauM ? cATe hauM ? mane lAge che ! e saMDAsa jatI dekhAya pachI tene dhovAnuM kahe, nahIM to 'nahIM boluM' kahe to? Page #127 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 15 praznakartA : cAlaze, nahIM boluM to. dAdAzrI : te ghaDIe choDI dauM, to Aje choDI de ne ? tethI kRpALudeva ema lakhe che, 'lAkaDAnI pUtaLI to sArI hoya. emAM saMDAsa mahIMthI nIkaLavAnuM nahIM. nahIM gaMdha A to ! e moTuM jue to ya gaMdhAtA hoya. bhrAMti caDhI jAya ne eTale kepha caDhI jAya to bhAna nA rahe. eTale cItarI nA caDhe pachI. praznakartA: badhAMne eno anubhava che ja ! dAdAzrI : te ghaDIe saMDAsa karavA beThI hoya tyAre jue to caMcaLa rahe ke nA rahe ? praznakartA : nA rahe. prema tUTI jAya. dAdAzrI : prema che ja kayAM A ! khAlI sAyakolojIkala IphekTa che ! te ghaDIe ApaNe vIMTa vIMTa karavuM paDe. A chatuM vAMcyuM hatuM, te UMdhuM vIMTa vIMTa karIe to nIkaLI jAya, khalAsa thaI jAya. 'mAruM, mAruM" karIne coMTyo. have 'nhoya mAruM, hoya mAruM' kare to jatuM rahe. ati te "phAIla' sarakhAM ! jyAM kheMcANa thatuM hoya tyAM jAgrata raho. kheMcANa nA thatuM hoya to vAMdho nahIM. vAre ghaDIe kheMcANa thatuM hoya to jANavuM ke A haju phAIla che. praznakartA : amuka phAIla hoya to kheMcANa thAya. dAdAzrI : cetIne cAlajo. ApaNuM jJAna che to brahmacaryavrata rahI zake ema che. kAraNa ke zuddhAtmA judo pADelo che. eTale rahI zake. nahIM to koI jagyAe rahI nA zake. dAdAe Apelo 'huM zuddhAtmA chuM" ema kahetAMnI sAthe e kamplITa judo thaI jAya. e zaMkA vagarano che. bIje badhe zaMkAvALuM. praznakartA: 'pote' judo rahe che eTale ja amuka phAIla AvI ane 196 samajathI prApta brahmacarya caMcaLatA thaI, e badhuM khabara paDe. dAdAzrI : hA, khabara paDe ja ne ! pelo judo nA thayo hoya to khabara nA paDe eTale tanmayAkAra ja rahe. khabara paDe, hAlI UThya samajAya. have badhuM kema karavuM te ya paNa jANe, badhA saMjogo AvaDe. tAre rAge rahe che ke evuM ja badhuM ? haju caMcaLa thaI jauM chuM ne ? praznakartA : mAre evuM kaMI banyuM ja nathI. dAdAzrI : e banyuM che. huM to caMcaLatAne jouMne ! tane khabara nA paDe. deha caMcaLa thayo hoya, te tane khabara nA paDe. huM oLakhI jauM ne, caMcaLatAne ! praznakartA : mana bagaDe eTale to potAne khabara paDe ne ? dAdAzrI : mana bagaDe, vicAro bagaDe to tane khabara paDe. paNa deha caMcaLa thayo hoya te Ama khabara nA paDe. deha caMcaLa thaI jAya che. e to sAmuM jovAnI zakti hovI joIe. saMDAsamAM eno dekhAva joI levo joIe. e kaDaka ja rahevuM joIe. A to suMvALuM lAge. ekadama kaDaka agni jANIne cheTuM rahevuM paDe. praznakartA : amuka vAra dAdA UMdhI sAIDano konphiDansa vadhAre thaI jAya che. dAdAzrI : emAM dAnatacora hoya che. kaDaka nA thAya to jANavuM ke ahIM kAcuM che haju. jenAthI potAne nukasAna thAya. enAthI jo cheTo nA rahe ne, to murkha ja kahevAya ne ?! ane A to adhogati kahevAya. A bhUlane nA calAvI levAya. viSaya-vikAra ne maraNa beu sarakhuM ja che. kApo kaDakAIthI 'ete'! jene phAIla thayelI ja hoya, ene mATe bahu jokhama rahyuM. enA mATe kaDaka rahevuM. sAme Ave to AMkha kADhavI joIe. to e phAIla DaratI rahe. ulaTuM phAIla thayA pachI to loka caMpala mAre, to pharI e moTuM dekhADato ja bhUlI jAya. keTalAMka loko bahu cokkasa rahevAnA. jene cokkasa Page #128 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 197 thavuM hoya tene. nahIM to moLuM paDI jAya. AMkha kaDaka karIene to phAIla nA thAya. ene kharAba lAge evuM vartana karIe to phAIla thAya nahIM. mIThuM vartana karIe to coMTe ane kharAba vartana karyuM. e guno bIje divase mApha thaI zake ema che. e ApaNane coMTe nahIM evuM ApaNe bolavuM joIe. e guno mApha thavAno rasto hoya che. paNa A coMTe, teno guno mApha thavAno rasto nathI. enAthI ja A saMsAra badho Ubho rahyo che badho. praznakartA : phAIla hoya, enA upara ApaNane tiraskAra Ubho nA thato hoya to jANI-joIne tiraskAra Ubho karavo ? dAdAzrI : hA. tiraskAra kema Ubho nA thAya ? je ApaNuM ATaluM badhuM ahita kare che, tenA para tiraskAra nA thAya ? mATe haju pola che ! dAnata cora che ! ApaNuM ahita kare, ApaNuM ghara bALI melyuM hoya to ya che, te ApaNane enA para tiraskAra nA hoya ? A to mahIM dAnata cora che evuM ame samajI jaIe. praznakartA : tiraskAra mahIM Ubho thAya che paNa buddhi pachI pheravI kADhe che. dAdAzrI : pheravI kADhe, enuM kAraNa zuM ke dAnata cora che. praznakartA : bahu paricaya thayo hoya to eno aparicaya kevI rIte karavo ? tiraskAra karIne ? dAdAzrI : 'nhoya mAruM, nhoya mAruM' karIne, ghaNAM pratikramaNa karavAM. 'nhoya mAruM, nhoya mAruM" karIne pachI kADhI nAkho badhuM, pachI rUbarUmAM maLI jAya te ghaDIe ApI devuM joIe. 'zuM moTuM laIne pharyA kare che, jAnavara jevI, yujhalesa ' pachI e pharI moTuM nA dekhADe. tyAM che dAtatayora ! praznakartA: jabarajasta ahaMkAra karIne paNa A viSayane uDADI 198 samajathI prApta brahmacarya melavAno che. dAdAzrI : hA. pachI A ahaMkAranI davA karI levAya. paNa pelo roga ke jyAM baLavo thavAno tyAM dAbI devo paDe. A to dAnata cora eTale mIThAM rahe che. huM samajI jAuM. praznakartA: jyAM dAnata cora che, to ene sudhAravA mATe zuM ? eno upAya zuM ? nizcaya sTroMga karavo e ja ne ? dAdAzrI : ApaNuM nukasAna kare to enI upara dveSa ja rahe, kharAba draSTi ja rahe. ApaNane bheguM thatAM ja e bhaDake. kaDaka thaI gayo che. khabara paDI jAya. evuM kaDaka thayuM ke pachI aDe nahIM. pachI bIjuM khoLe e. praznakartA : ApanA jJAna pachI khabara paDe ke AnI joDe ATalo kaDaka chuM ne ATalo narama chuM. dAdAzrI : hA. paNa narama rahevuM e pola che. huM to jANuMne badhuM ke A pola che. praznakartA : jyAM narama rahevAya tyAM koI divasa gussAvALI vANI nIkaLI ja nathI. bIje to bhayaMkara gusso thAya che. ApanI vAta bilakula sAcI che. dAdAzrI : dAnata cora che. ame tarata ja samajI jaIe ne ! bahAra to narama theMsa ! praznakartA : Apa kaho cho, te haju amane khabara nathI paDatI. dAdAzrI : te paNa ame jANIe ne ! ame jame karIe nahIM ! game evuM promisa tame Apo to ya jame karIe nahIM. ame jame kyAre karIe ? evuM vartana joIe tyAre. praznakartA : A eka bahu moTo roga thaI gayo che. potA upara vadhAre paDato vizvAsa thaI gayo che khoTo. Page #129 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 199 dAdAzrI : bhAna ja nahIM ne koI paNa jAtanuM. potA upara ane pArakA upara bhAna ja nahIM. praznakartA : ApaNe phAIlano tiraskAra karIe to aMdarathI evuM batADe ke e ApaNane UMdhuM samajaze. dAdAzrI : UMdhuM samajavuM ja joIe. ene ApaNe gAMDA chIe evuM lAgavuM joIe. ApaNe je te raste toDI nAkhavAnuM ne pachI enI davA thAya. A vera baMdhAyuM hoya tenI davA thAya. praznakartA : jyAM sudhI eka jagyAe paNa jhalAyeluM hoya tyAM sudhI bIjI zakti pachI pragaTa thatI nathI. dAdAzrI : A te gaLyuM poIjhana che, poIjhana ne pAchuM mIThuM ! ane 'phAIla' Ave, te ghaDIe to kaDaka ja thaI javuM. to 'phAIla" dhruje ! 'yujhalesa phelo' ema hatuM kahI do khAnagImAM, eTale e vera rAkhe, ciDhAya to ya vAMdho nahIM. ciDhAya eTale rAga UDI jAya, Asakti UDI jAya badhI. ane e samajI ya jAya ke have pharI A ApaNA lAgamAM nA Ave. nahIM to pachI e lAga khoLyA kare. A have sAcavajo badhuM. - phAIla to ApaNI najIka Ave ne tyAMthI ja manamAM kaDavuM jhera thaI javuM joIe, A kyAM atyAre ?! A to dAnatacora che ! ATaluM ja cetavA jevuM che. bIjuM badhuM khAjo-pIjo ne, huM kyAM nA kahuM chuM ? kaDaka, Ama thavAya ! praznakartA : sAmI phAIla e ApaNA mATe phAIla nathI, paNa enA mATe ApaNe phAIla chIe evuM ApaNane khabara paDe to ApaNe zuM karavuM ? dAdAzrI : to to vaheluM vadhAre uDADI devuM. vadhAre kaDaka thavuM. e cItaravAnuM ja baMdha karI dene. nA hoya to gAMDuM haluM bolavuM. ene kahevuM ke "cAra dholo mArI daIza, jo tuM mArI sAme AvIza to ! mArA jevo cakrama nahIM maLe koI." evuM kahIe eTale pachI pharI pese nahIM. e to 200 samajathI prApta brahmacarya AvI ja rIte khase. praznakartA : AvuM keka bolavAnuM mane sAruM phAve. dAdAzrI : hA. tane AvuM kaDaka bolatAM sAruM phAve ne A badhAne zikhavADavuM paDe. tane sahaja AvaDe. DhIluM paDe e badhA roga ja che. A to tamane bhAna ja nathI ke avaLuM bolIne chUTI javAya. apamAna darekane gamatuM nathI. phAIla hoya tene ya gamatuM nathI. e ya naphaphaTa nathI hotI ke apamAna karIe to pachI A phAIla UbhI rahe ?! pachI cItaravAnuM ja baMdha karI de che. ane jyAM sudhI A moLuM haze ne tyAM sudhI cItara cItara karaze. e cItare eTale ApaNuM mana DhIluM thAya. IphekTa che badhI. tAre enA upara draSTi nA hoya paNa e cItare eTale tAre mahIM IphekTa bahu thAya, eTale paDe. tethI cItarato ja baMdha thaI jAya evuM karavuM ane UlaTuM jayAre hoya tyAre gALo bhADe. eTale ApaNI mATe kaheze, "cAlo javA do ne enI vAta, e to bahu kharAba che.' eTale UMdhuM cItare to ApaNane choDI de ! praznakartA : eTale ApaNane koInA pratye evo kharAba vicAra Ave eTale ene paNa Ave ja, ema ? dAdAzrI : bahu dahADAne mATe vicAra Ava Ava kare eTale enI asara pelA para thayA vagara rahe nahIM. evuM A jagata che ! mATe evuM kaDaka bolIne kApI nAkho ke ApaNe pharI nAma ja cItarato baMdha thaI jAya. bIjA ghaNAM ya chokarAo che, tyAM cItara ne ! ahIM kyAM Ave ? ene eme ya kahevAya ke mArA jevo kreka heDeDa bIjo koI nahIM maLe. eTale e ya kahetI thAya ke keka heDeDa che. je te raste chUTavuM che ne ApaNe ! bIje badhe DAhyA thajo ne ! toDAya lapharuM kaLAe karIte ! abrahmacaryathI to A badhuM AvuM goTALo che ja. praznakartA : pachI potAnI draSTithI bahAra ja jatA rahevAya che. Page #130 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 201 dAdAzrI : vimukha ja thaI jAya che ! Taca ja nA hovo joIe ne ! eka baI ene choDatI nahotI. te pachI ko'ka bIjI baIne amathuM bolAvIne heMDyone enI joDe, te pelI sAmuM thaI gaI ! Tekala karatAM AvaDavuM joIe. Ane kaLA AvaDe badhI. chUTI gayo mArA bhaI ! Ane AvaDatI nathI ne ghATa-ghATanI gAMsaDIo ja bAMdha-bAMdha kare che. praznakartA : kaLA zIkhavajo. dAdAzrI : A zIkhavI keTalI badhI. khAnagI kahevAnI hoya ! te paNa. baMdhAyelA hoya ne emAMthI, pachI eka jaNa potAnuM toDI nAkhavA pharato hoya paNa tUTe nahIM. e toDe nahIM tyAM to enuM phrekacara karI nAkhavuM paDe. tyAM vahema ghAlI devAno. praznakartA : eka jaNa phrekacara kare, paNa sAme karavA nA de ene. dAdAzrI : sAmAnuM ja phrekacara karavAnuM. ApaNuM phrekacara nahIM karavAnuM. sAmo ja ciDAya ke A to UlTo kharAba nIkaLyo, banAvaTI. praznakartA : sAmevALAne evuM thavuM joIe ke A banAvaTa karI. dAdAzrI : A avaLo ja che. te dA'De dA'De enA abhiprAyo tUTatA ja jAya. pachI bIjuM ADuMavaLuM copaDe, tyAre tamAre chUTavuM hoya to chUTAya. praznakartA : to ApaNuM ja phrekacara pUrepUruM nA thayuM hoya to ? potAnuM mana pUrepUruM phrekacara nA thayuM hoya to ? dAdAzrI : pachI koNa nA paDe che to ? to pachI A dariyo nathI ! DUbI jAya. praznakartA : ApaNuM paheluM phrekacara thaI javuM joIene ? dAdAzrI : ApaNuM karavAnuM jarUra nathI. paheluM sAmAnuM phrekacara karI nAkhane badhuM. pachI ApaNe ApaNuM jyAre karavuM hoya to A thaI zake che, jene e karavuM che ene ! paheluM potAnuM to thAya ja nahIM ne ! samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : jyAM sudhI sAmenuM AkarSaNa che eTale potAnuM paheluM nA thAya, evuM haze ? 202 dAdAzrI : thAya ja nahIM koI dahADo. jo sAmo gALo bhAMDato thaI gayo to ApaNe jyAre choDavuM hoya tyAre chUTI jAya. praznakartA : to sAmAnuM phrekacara kevI rIte karAya paNa ? dAdAzrI : hajAra rastA che badhAM ! nahIM to eka dA'Do to enI moDhe kahevuM ke 'zuM karuM, mAruM mana gUMcAya che ! be-traNa jaNa tArI jevI haze. badhAMne vacana ApyAM che' kahIe. A to ahIMthI kAgaLa lakhe ke, 'mane gamatuM nathI tArA vagara.' tyAre chUTe zI rIte ? pachI vadhAre vaLage pelI. have tane AvaDI jaze ne ? vaLagADI kahI DIyara, toDo ApI phIyara ApaNuM vijJAna eTaluM ja suMdara che ke tamane badhI rIte eDajasTa thaI jAya. bahAranuM eksesa thaI gayuM hoya to AtmA khoI nAkhe. bahu joradAra thayuM hoya to AtmAnuM vaidaka jatuM rahyuM. jJAtA-draSTApaNuM UDI jAya ane bhrAMti khavaDAvI de ene mohanIya karma. praznakartA : bahAranuM eksesa thaI jAya ema Ape kahyuM ne, e kaI kaI rIte ema ? dAdAzrI : A koIne strInI joDe ekatA thaI gaI. have pote choDavA phare paNa sAmI choDe to ne ? ApaNe maLIe nahIM ne to ya pelI vicAra ApaNA ne ApaNA karyA kare. ApaNA vicAra kare eTale baMdhAyelA kahevAya. vicArothI ja ApaNe baMdhAyelA. e vicAra baMdha thAya nahIM ne ApaNo chUTako nA thAya. mATe pahelAM samajavuM joIe. eTale enAM vicAro toDavA mATe zuM karavuM paDe ? enI joDe jhaghaDA karavAM paDe, Ama karavuM joIe, enI joDe UMdhuM UMdhuM dekhADavuM joIe. bIjI chokarIne amathA kahIe, tuM to mArI bena cho, karIne heMDane mArI joDe pharavA jarA, evuM pelIne dekhADavAnuM eTale enuM mana phrekacara karI nAMkhavAnuM. dhIme rahIne. Page #131 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 204 samajathI prApta brahmacarya samajathI prApta brahmacarya 203 praznakartA: bIjI coMTI paDe to. dAdAzrI : bIjI coMTI paDe to bIjIthI chUTavuM. jene chUTavuM che, ene badhuM AvaDe. praznakartA : eTale e sivAya, peluM vyavahAramAM vadhAre paDatA DUbI jaIe dhaMdhAmAM-kAmamAM to ApaNuM jJAtA-draSTApaNuM ochuM thaI jAya, evuM nahIM ne ? dAdAzrI : dhaMdho e AvI phAIla nathI. A to dAvo mAMDe evI phAIla che. e rAta-dA'Do tamAre mATe vicAra kare ne tamane rAta-dahADo bAMdha bAMdha karyA kare. ApaNe to ApaNe ghera hoIe to ye dhaMdho nA bAMdhe athavA jalebI bAMdhe nahIM, kerIo bAMdhe nahIM. A jIvatI bAMdhe, AmAM kleIma ne ? je tame sukha khoLo cho e bAju, to koI mAMgaze eTale A kaleImavALuM che. sukha to jalebI khAdhI ne nA phAvI to pheMkI dIdhI. bIjuM zuM ? dAvo ya nahIM jalebIno, kazo vAMdho nahIM. A badhI amArI jhINI zodhakhoLo badhI. nahIM to chUTAya kevI rIte ?! dhaMdhAmAM e thayuM, phalANuM thayuM to emAMthI bAMdhe, paNa mane evuM ene mATe vicAra Ave evuM mArI pAse hoya ja nahIM ne, eTale bAMdhe zI rIte ? huM vItarAga ja hauM, to e bAMdhe ya zI rIte ? huM tyAM coTuM tyAre mane bAMdhe. tyAM vItarAga rahevuM. chUTavAno rasto A. praznakartA eTale kevI rIte vItarAga raho ? dAdAzrI : game tevuM e karIne to ya ApaNe e prakRtine Se ya nahIM ne rAge ya nahIM karavAno. enuM nAma samabhAve nikAla ! e game tevuM kharAba kare, UMdhuM kare, nukasAna kare, jo huM ene kaMI rIpera karavA jauM, to eno artha eTalo ke huM rAga-dveSamAM paDyo. to mane haju jarUra che, IcchA che mArI, rAga-dveSavALI prakRti che. teno samabhAve nikAla karavAnuM kahyuM che. enuM mana ApaNA tarapha rAgamAM rahe, to bAMdhe, evuM nA thavuM joIe. rAga athavA vaiSathI A lokonAM mana bAMdhe, paNa mArI joDe sAcA premathI bAMdhe to UlaTuM Akho dahADo zAMti rahe. bhagavAna mahAvIra A rIte chUTelA ne, nahIM to chUTe nahIM. tane bahu vAto kAmamAM lAgaze. te dA'DAno mane pUcha pUcha kare che, 'zI rIte chUTavuM ?" pachI mAre Ama ne Ama to mArAthI kahevAya nahIM, AvuM bAMdhabhAre karyuM tyAre samajI javAnuM. e ya samaje to rAge paDa, nA samaje to pachI.... praznakartA : have jaldI rAge paDavAnI jarUra che. dAdAzrI : gharanuM bagaDaze, gharamAM Ubho nahIM rahevA de. praznakartA: bahAre ya bagaDe to badhe bagaDe. dAdAzrI ane Ama ghere ya phrekacara thaI jaze. ahIM e badhuM phrekacara thaI jaze. AkhI rAta mArA mATe koIne ya vicAra Ave kaMI paNa ke dAdAe mane Ama karyuM ne tema karyuM. dAdAe mane nukasAna karyuM ke bIjI bAju Page #132 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ [10] viSayI vartata ? to DisamIsa ! ahIM karelAM pApa, pamADe tarka ! draSTi bagaDe tyAre e khoTuM kahevAya. draSTi nA bagaDe, enuM nAma brahmacarya kahevAya. bahAra bagaDe to vAMdho nahIM. tenuM ya pratikramaNa karavuM paDe. ahIM to badhA vizvAsathI Ave ne ! ane A to bIje pApa karyuM hoya ne, te ahIM Ave to dhovAI jAya, paNa ahIMnuM pApa kareluM narkagatimAM bhogavAya. thaI gayAM hoya tene leTa go karIe paNa navuM to thavA nA daIe ne ! thaI gayAno kaMI upAya che pachI. eka phero UMdhuM kArya thaI jAya, ahIMthI bIje jato rahe enI meLe ja, moTuM dekhADavA ja nA UbhA rahe. nahIM to pachI duniyA UMdhI ja cAle ne, brahmacaryanA nAma upara ! ahIM evuM cAle nahIM ! 'anya kSetre kRtam pApam, dharma kSetre vinazyati. je bahAra pApa kareluM hoya saMsAramAM, te dharmakSetramAM jAya eTale nAza thaI jAya ane "dharmakSetra kRtama pApam vrajalepo bhaviSyati' e narkagatimAM 206 samajathI prApta brahmacarya laI jAya. bahAra pApa kare ne ahIM pApa kare, emAM bahu phera ! ahIM to pApano vicAre ya nA Avavo joIe, vrajalepa thAya. vrajalepa eTale narkanAM TAMkA paDe, bhayaMkara yAtanA bhogavavI paDe ! na zobhe e ! praznakartA : haju paNa evA vicAro ne evuM kema thaI jAya che ? dAdAzrI : vicAro ja mahIM bharyA che. e nIkaLe ne, paNa vartanamAM nahIM AvavuM joIevartanamAM AvI gayuM to bilakula baMdha pachI. kAyama mATe baMdha karI daIe ApaNe. AvAM apavitra mANaso ahIM posAya nahIM ne ? vicAra Ave tene jonAra tuM thauM. praznakartA : e to barAbara, satsaMgamAM to AvuM cAle ja nahIM. dAdAzrI : nA. na cAle. A to bahu pavitra jagyA, ahIM baneluM ja nahIM AvuM. evAne kAyamane mATe baMdha ja karI devAnuM. sAmo ATalo vikArI hoya to ja AvuM hoya ! tamAre to vicAra Ave to tarata ja te ghaDIe jovuM. nA jovAya to eno pazcAttApa karavo ke A jovAyuM nahIM. to eno pazcAttApa karuM chuM ane have to kaDaka ja pagaluM levAnuM, game te hoya to ene baMdha karI devAnuM. AvI pavitra jagyA ! bAkI vartanamAM AvuM hoya tene, pahelAM eka-be jaNAne baMdha karI dIdhAM, te jone haju kAyama mATe avAtuM ja nathI. moTuM paNa nA dekhADe ne !! ahIM pahelAM thaI gayuM hoya teno svIkAra karavAno, navesarathI to thAya ja nahIM ne ! have vartanamAM na Ave eTaluM jovAnuM. koI kALamAM vartanamAM nA Ave. ane vartanamAM Ave tene ame eDamITa karatAM nathI. eTale apavitra vicAra Ave to khodIne kADhI nAkhavo, saheja vicAra AvatAnI sAthe ja. jema ApaNA khetarA-bagIcAmAM koIka avaLI, vastu UgI hoya ne e kADhI nAkhIe chIe, evI rIte avaLI vastu tarata UkheDI nAkhavI. Page #133 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 207 pAzavatA karavI, tenAM karatAM paiNavuM sAruM. paiNavAmAM zo vAMdho che ? e pAzavatA sArI haju, paiNyAnI ! paiNavuM nahIM ne khoTA cenacALA karavA, e to bhayaMkara pAzavatA kahevAya, narkagatinA adhikArI ! ane te to ahIM hoya ja nahIM ne ? paiNavuM e to hakkanA viSaya kahevAya. vicAra karI joje paiNavuM ke nA paNavuM, te ? praznakartA : savAla ja nathI, no cAnsa. dAdAzrI : hamaNAM evuM cokkasa na thatuM hoya tyAM sudhI DisIjhana nA levuM barobara, dhIme dhIme cokkasa karyA pachI ja DisIjhana levuM. lapasaNuM sahaja, jo eka phera lapasyA brahmacarya bhaMga karavuM e moTo doSa. brahmacarya bhaMga thAya tyAre muzkelI, hatA tyAMthI gabaDI paDyA. ropeluM jhADa hoya dasa varSanuM ane paDI jAya to pachI AjathI ja ropyA evuM ja thayuM ne pAchuM dase ya varSa nakAmA gayA ne ! ane brahmacaryavALo paDI gayo. eka ja dahADo paDI jAya eTale khalAsa thaI gayo. ane je mANasa ATalethI ahIMthI lapasyo, eTale pachI e je lapasyo e eTalo ja bhAga pAcho pharI jora kare, eno e ja bhAga ene lapasAvaDAve pAcho. eTale pachI potAnA kAbUmAM nA rahe, pachI kAbU-kaMTrola paNa gumAvI de, khalAsa thaI gayo. tyAM ame cetavAnuM kahIe. marI jaIza, kahIe. ta thAya saMga saMyogI jAgRti rahe che ne atyAre ? AnaMda zaru thaI gayo che ne ! pelA badhA to AnaMdamAM AvI gayelA. badhAnAM moDhA para navI jAtanuM teja AvyuM. eka ja divAla oLaMgAya to AnaMda zaruAta thaI jAya ane pragaTa thaI jAya tarata ane nA oLaMgI ne lapasyo to tyAM AgaLa pachI gADha thaI jAya. pachI pAcho UMdho thaI jAya. eTale kasoTIne TAIme sAcavI levAnuM. pAtALa phUTI jAya, ne AnaMda pachI nIkaLyA kare ! bIjuM badhuM thAya teno vAMdho nahIM. saMga saMyogI nA thavo joIe. 208 samajathI prApta brahmacarya bIjuM thAya e ya vAMdho nahIM, eno artha evo ke e thAya to bahu. eTalI badhI phIkara karavA jevuM nathI. paNa saMyoga to maraNa che. strI-puruSano saMyoga e to maraNa ja che, evuM tamArA mATe che. praznakartA : eTale marI jaIe paNa e nA hovuM joIe. dAdAzrI : nahIM, e maraNa ja che. ema ne ema maraNa ja thaI gayuM. kAraNa ke je AnaMda pragaTa thavAno hato, te vakhate ja ApaNe lapasyA. jema upavAsa karyo hoyane, to thoDA vakhata mATe mahIM aMdara e sarasa thaI javAno hoya, paNa e pahelAM to khaI lIdhuM hoya badhuM ! eTale cetatA rahejo. nahIM to A to pharI A bhUmikA maLe nahIM, A bhUmikA koI kALamAM maLavAnI nathI. mATe cetatA rahejo. A badhuM saheja paNa cUkAya nahIM ane bahu humalo thAya to pachI mane khabara Apajo ane bIjuM badhuM thAya te enuM kaMI jarUra ja nathI. e badhuM yujhalesa ! strIpuruSano saMyoga nahIM thavo joIe. basa eTaluM ja. bIjA badhAne to huM leTa go karIza. praznakartA : eTale pelA jeTaluM jokhama nahIM, bIjA badhAmAM ? dAdAzrI : nA jokhama nahIM. vadhAremAM vadhAre jokhama ja A che. A to ApaghAta ja che. pelAne thIgaDA mArI levAya, e davA hoya che badhI. haju to kharuM tapa jeTaluM karazo eTalo AnaMda. A tapa karavAnuM che, bIjuM kaMI tapa nahIM. sAmasAmI nAnuM hullaDa thayuM hoya ne khabara ApIe to tarata jApto thaI jAya. evI rIte jApto rAkhavAno che. praznakartA : have aMdara Ama brahmacarya mATe nizcaya evo thaI ja gayo che ! dAdAzrI : nizcaya tAro thaI ja gayo che. moDhA upara nUra AvyuM ne ! praznakartA : ApaNe jJAnamAM thoDI kacAza rahe ne to vAMdho nathI, paNa Page #134 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 209 brahmacaryanuM to ekadama paraphekTa (cokkasa) karI levuM che. eTale kamplITa (saMpUrNa) nirmULa ja karI nAkhavuM che pachI AvatA avatAranI javAbadArI nahIM. dAdAzrI : basa, basa. praznakartA : atyAre dAdA maLyA che to pUruM ja karI nAkhavAnuM. dAdAzrI : pUruM ja karI nAkhavAnuM. e nizcaya Dage nahIM eTaluM rAkhavAnuM. viSayano saMyoga nA thavo joIe. bIjuM badhuM tamAre haze to leTa go (calAvI laIzuM) karIzuM. enI davA batAvIzuM badhI. bIjI badhI bhUlo pAMca-sAta-dasa jAtanI thAya, enI badhI jAtanI davAo batAvI daIzuM. enI davA hoya che, mArI pAse badhI jAtanI davAo che. paNa AnI davA nathI. nava hajAra mAIla Avyo ane tyAMthI nA jaDyuM to pAcho pharyo. have nava hajAra pAMcaso mAIla upara 'peluM' hatuM e pAchA pharavAnI mahenata karI, tenA karatAM AgaLa heMDane mUA ! jo ne Ane nizcaya thayo nathI, kevI muzkelI che ? praznakartA : nizcaya to che paNa bhUlo thaI jAya che. dAdAzrI : bhUlo bIjI thAya to calAvI levAya. viSaya saMyoga nA thavo joIe. tane paNa ame gaNatarImAM lIdho nathI ne jene gaNatarImAM lIdho hoya tenI A vAta che. tuM jayAre tAruM A TesTa ekjhAminezana dekhADIza, tyAre tane gaNatarImAM laI laIzuM. pachI tane ya Thapako ApIzuM. atyAre tane Thapako ApIe nahIM. majhA kara. potAnA hitane mATe majhA karavAnI che ne ? zenA mATe majhA karavAnI che ? praznakartA : majhA karavAmAM potAnuM hita to nA thAya. dAdAzrI : nA thAya. tyAra pachI majhA zuM karavA kare che ? dAdAtI tyAM mauta kaDakAI ! A viSaya bAbatamAM saMyoga thAya to amArI kaDavI najara pharI 210 samajathI prApta brahmacarya jAya, amane tarata badhI khabara paDI jAya. e 'dAdAnI najara kaDavI rahe che, te ya viSaya ekalAmAM ja, bIjI bAbatamAM nahIM. bIjI bAbatamAM kaDavI najara nahIM rAkhavAnI. bIjI bhUlo thAya paNa 'A' to na ja hovI joIe. ane thaI to amane kahI devI ripera karI ApIe, choDAvI ApIe. praznakartA H ahIM to chUTavA mATe to dAdA pAse AvavAnuM che badhI rIte. dAdAzrI : eno vAMdho nahIM. eTalA mATe to A Aptaputrone meM badhuM lekhita lIdhuM ke mAre kADhI nA melavA paDe, tamArI meLe ja jatuM rahevAnuM. pelo viSaya e "saMyoga'rUpe thato hoya ne, tene amArI kaDavI najara thAya ne eTale e chUTI jAya, enI meLe ja. tApa ja choDAvI nAkhe. amAre vaDhavuM nA paDe. evI kaDavI najara paDe, pelAne tApathI rAte UMgha nA Ave. e saumyatAno tApa kahevAya. pratApano tApa to jagatanA loko pAse che. pratApa to moMDhA para teja hoya badhuM, Ama brahmacarya sAruM, baLavAna hoya zarIra, vANI evI pratApazIla, vartana evuM pratApazIla. e pratApa to hoya saMsAramAM, saumyatAno tApa nA hoya koInI pAse. have A be bheguM thAya tyAre kAma thAya. sUrya-caMdranA baMne guNo. ekalA pratApI puruSo kharA. paNa thoDA, bahu AvA duSama kALamAM to hoya ja nahIM ne ! praznakartA : ane ApaNuM A jJAna ja evuM che ne ke mahIMthI ja Ama godA mArIne cetavyA kare. dAdAzrI : hA, e godA mAre. praznakartA : eTale saheja kaMI AghuMpAchuM thayuM hoya ne, to mahIM pelI bUmAbUma macI jAya ke A cUkyA, pAchA pharo ahIMthI. eTale mahIM sephamAM ja AkhuM kheMcI lAve ApaNane. dAdAzrI : hAravAnI jagyA thAya to mane kahI devuM. eka avatAra apavitra nahIM thAya to mokSa thaI gayo, lIlI jhaMDI ane lagna karo to ya vAMdho nahIM, to ya mokSane vAMdho nahIM Ave. Page #135 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 211 praznakartA : ApaNe IcchApUrvaka koIne aDIe, ene vartanamAM AvyuM kahevAya ne ? dAdAzrI : IcchApUrvaka aDIe ? to to vartanamAM ja AvyuM kahevAya ne ! IcchApUrvaka devatAne aDI joje ne ?! praznakartA : khyAlamAM AvyuM. dAdAzrI : e pachI AgaLanI icchA to, icchA thaI tyAMthI to kADhI ja nAkhavI joIe, mULamAM ugatAM ja, bIja UgatAM ja ApaNe jANIe ke A zenuM bIja uge che ? tyAre kahe ke viSayanuM. to toDIne kADhI nAkhavAnuM. nahIM to ene aDatAM AnaMda thayo eTale pachI to khalAsa thaI gayuM. e jIvana ja nahIM ne mANasanuM ! have kAyadA samajIne karajo A badhuM. jene vartanamAM AvyuM eTale ame baMdha karI daIe. kAraNa ke nahIM to A saMgha tUTI jAya. saMghamAM to viSayanI durgaMdha Ave ja nahIM. eTale AvuM hoya to mane kahI deje. paiNuM to ya upAya che ke paiNuM to mokSa kaMI nAsI javAno nathI. tane upAya rahe evuM karI ApIzuM. Aptaputro mATenI klamo jene nizcaya che ne e rahI zake che ! jJAnI puruSano mAthe AdhAra che. jJAna lIdheluM che, sukha to mahIM to hoya ne, pachI zAnA mATe badhuM kUvAmAM paDavAnuM ? eTale je A pramAda karyA che, tyAra pachI mane gamatA ja nathI tame. haju pramAdI ane Ama badhA yujhalesa. kazuM ThekANuM ja nahIM ne ! mArI hAjarImAM UMghe eTale pachI zuM vAta karavI ? kyAre lakhIne ApavAnA cho ? praznakartA : tame kaho tyAre. hamaNe lakhI ApIe. dAdAzrI : be kalamo, eka viSayI vartana, viSayI vartana thAya to ame jAte nivRta thaI jaIzuM, koIne nivRta karavA nahIM paDe. evuM lakhavAnuM. jAte ja A sthAna choDIne ame cAlyA jaIzuM ane bIjuM A pramAda thaze to saMgha je amane zikSA karaze te ghaDIe. traNa dA'DAnI bhUkhyA 212 samajathI prApta brahmacarya rahevAnI ke evI tevI, je kaMI zikSA kare te svIkArIzuM. ame kyAM vacce paDIe ! saMgha che ne A. A loko mArI hAjarImAM ATaluM UMdhe te sAruM dekhAya ? hA, bapore to UMghatA hatA te A pakaDAyA badhAM. pahelAM ya bahu dA'DA pakaDAyelA. A to badho kacaro mAla che. te to bhaI samo jema tema mahIM thoDo ghaNo thayo. tAre evuM lakhIne ApavAnuM. Aptaputra evuM lakhIne Ape ApaNane. be kalamo, kaI kaI kalamo lakhIne Ape ? praznakartA : eka to kyAre paNa viSayasaMbaMdhI doSa nahIM karuM ane karuM to ye.... dAdAzrI : karuM to tarata huM mAre ghera jato rahIza. A AptaputranI jagyA choDIne jato rahIza. tamane moTuM dekhADavA nahIM rahuM. ane bIjuM jJAnI puruSanI hAjarImAM jhokuM nahIM khAuM. pramAda nahIM karuM koI jAtano. A be zarato lakhIne badhA taiyAra thaI jAva. eTale brahmacarya mahatvanuM che. huM emane kahuM chuM, paiNo nirAMte. paNa kahe che nathI paiNavuM. huM nA nathI kaheto. tame paNa. paiNazo to ya mokSa AmAM jato nahIM rahe eTale amArA mAthe Aropa nA Ave. tamane nA poSAtI hoya vahu, temAM huM zuM karuM te ! tyAre kahe, amane poSAtI nathI. evo khulAso kare che ne ! eTale tAre poSAya to paiNaje ane nA poSAya to mane kaheje. mahIM mAla bharelo hoya, to paiNIne pachI eno hisAba pUro karo. e paiNyA eTale kAyama koI dhaNI thaI besato nathI. badhA rastA hoya che. mana bagaDe to pratikramaNa karavA paDe, te zuTa oNna sAITa joIe. manathI doSo thAya te calAvI levAya. te amArI pAse upAya che, ame te vAparIne dhoI nAkhIzuM. vANIthI ne kAyAthI thAya to nA calAvI levAya. pavitratA joIze ja ! kalamo tane game che ? praznakartA : game che. dAdAzrI : to lakhI lAvaje. nA game to nahIM. kalamo maMjUra nA hoya Page #136 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 2 13 to hamaNe baMdha rAkhavAnI. jayAre eDamIzana levA jevuM thAya tyAre karavAnI. amArI hAjarImAM jarA ya e UMgha nA Ave koIne. khAmI nahIM AvavI joIe badhI. vinaya niraMtara rahevo joIe. Akho dahADo mArI hAjarImAM AMkha miMcAya e cAle nahIM ane apavitratA to bilakula cAle nahIM, ahIM bilakula pavitra puruSonuM kAma. pavitratA hoya to tyAM bhagavAna AghApAchA thAya nahIM ! meM badhAne kahyuM che, bhaI AvuM pola to nA cAle. e anizcaya che, A Aptaputro paiNyA nathI paNa nizcaya che eTale vartana bagaDavA nahIM devAnuM. ekeeke bolo joIe, draDhatAthI koNa pALaze ? ekeeke bolo UbhA thaIne bolone ! [11] sephasAIDa sudhInI vADa. vartana bagaDe, tene to Disamisa karajo. karAra lakhIne mane ApyA. nA cAle apavitratA, bhUMDa jevuM vyavahAra ! bhUMDa ne AmAM phera zuM rahyo te ?! jo pavitra mANaso taiyAra thayA che, jagatanuM kalyANa karaze ! jarUrisyAto brahmacaryatA sAdhakatI.... tane brahmacarya mATe paNa tAvI jotAM AvaDe kharuM ? e tAvI jotAM AvaDe to kAmanuM ! badhI rIte tAvI jovuM joIe ! praznakartA H AmAM mane potAne evuM lAge che ke, mAro puruSArtha bahu maMda che. dAdAzrI : e to tyAM AgaLa badhA joDe rahezene, te jo jo puruSArthano joga !! pachI strI to dIThI game nahIM. kAraNa ke satsaMgamAM rahene e to badhA. pachI vicAro e bAju Ave nahIM ! praznakartA : e saMganI bahu asara paDe. dAdAzrI : pachI bahu saheluM paDe. atyAre to saMjogo nathI ne ? te A badhA viparIta saMjogo, kusaMganA ane potAne AjJA pALavAnI zakti nathI barobara, dAdAnI AjJA pALo to kazuM naDe nahIM. e to Ano upAya, tyAM badhA joDe raheze tyAre ja thAya. eno bIjo koI upAya nathI. Page #137 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brAhmacarya 2 15 brahmacarya pALI zakavA mATe ATalAM kAraNo hovAM joIe. eka to ApaNuM A 'jJAna' hovuM joIe. pAchI ATalI jarUriyAta joIe to kharI, ke brahmacArIonuM ToLuM hovuM joIe, brahmacArInI jagyA zaherathI jarA dUra hovI joIe ane pAchaLa poSaNa hovuM joIe. eTale AvAM badhA 'kaoNjhIjha' hovAM joIe. brahmacArIonAM ToLAmAM hoya tyAM sudhI e prakhyAta hoya, paNa jo chUTo paDI gayo to e prakhyAta na hoya. pachI e bIjA tAlamAM Ave ne ?! ToLuM hoya tyAre bIjo to vicAra ja nA Ave ne ? A ja ApaNo saMsAra ne A ja ApaNo dhyeya ! bIjo vikalpa ja nahIM ne ! ane sukha joIe che, te to mahIM pAra vagaranuM hoya, apAra sukha hoya !! saMga, kusaMganA pariNAmo ! praznakartA H brahmacarya mATe saMgabaLanI jarUra paDe ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, jarUra paDe. praznakartA : to eno artha evo ke ApaNo nizcaya eTalo kAco che ? dAdAzrI : nA, e saMgabaLanI to jarUra kharI. game tevo brahmacArI hoya, paNa tene kusaMga mAtra nukasAnakAraka che. kAraNa ke kusaMgano pAsa jo aDe, to e nukasAnakAraka thayA vagara rahe ja nahIM. praznakartA : eno artha evo thayo ke kusaMga nizcayabaLane kApI nAkhe? dAdAzrI : hA, nizcayabaLane kApI nAkhe ! are, mANasanuM AkhuM parivartana ja karI nAkhe ane satsaMge ya mANasanuM parivartana karI nAkhe. paNa eka phero kusaMgamAM gayelo, satsaMgamAM lAvavo hoya to bahu agharo paDI jAya ane satsaMgavALAne kusaMgI banAvavo hoya to vAra nA lAge. kAraNa ke kusaMga e lapasaNuM che, nIce javAnuM che ane satsaMga e caDhavAnuM che. kusaMgIne satsaMgI banAvavo hoya to caDhavAnuM, te bahu vAra lAge ane satsaMgIne kusaMgI banAvavo hoya to sapATAbaMdha, eka oLakhANavALo kusaMgI maLe ke 216 samajathI prApta brahmacarya tarata ja badhuM 'rAge' (!) pADI Ape. eTale e to vizvAsa koIno ya karAya nahIM. ApaNA je vizvAsu hoya, emanA ja saMgamAM pharavuM joIe. - kusaMga e ja poIjhana che. kusaMgathI to bahu cheTA rahevuM joIe. kusaMganI asara mana para thAya, buddhi para thAya, citta para thAya, ahaMkAra para thAya, zarIra para thAya. eka ja varSanA kusaMganI thayelI asara to paccIsapaccIsa varSa sudhI rahyA kare. eTale eka ja varasa dahADAnuM keTaluM badhuM kharAba phaLa AvIne UbhuM rahe che, e pachI pastAvo kara kara kare to ya chUTe nahIM ane eka phero lapasyA pachI vadhAre ne vadhAre UMDuM garakAya ane TheTha taLIye utArI de. pachI pastAvo kare, pAchuM pharavuM hoya to ya nA pharAya. eTale saMga sudharyo, tenuM badhuM ja sudharyuM ane saMga bagaDyo, tenuM badhuM ja bagaDyuM. sauthI moTuM jokhama kusaMga che. satsaMgamAM paDI rahelAne vAMdho nA Ave. lazkara goThavI caDho jaMge vIro ! praznakartA : badhI gAMTho che, temAM viSayanI gAMTha jarA vadhAre pajave dAdAzrI : e amuka gAMTha vadhAre pajave. tene mATe ApaNe lazkara taiyAra rAkhavuM paDe. A badhI gAMTho to dhIme dhIme ekjhosTa thayA ja kare che, ghasAyA ja kare che; te eka dahADo badhI vaparAI ja javAnI ne ?! A pAkistAnanuM lazkara game tyAre humalo kare, tenA mATe ApaNA hindustAne taiyArI rAkhelI che ke nahIM ? evI taiyArI rAkhavI paDe. praznakartA H eTale ja brahmacArIonA saMgamAM rahevAnuM che ne ? dAdAzrI : nA, taiyArImAM e ekaluM nA cAle. haju to TheTha sudhI lazkara rAkhavuM paDaze. praznakartA : saMpUrNa sephasAIDa kyAre thAya ? dAdAzrI : saMpUrNa sephasAIDa kyAre thAya, tenuM to ThekANuM ja nahIM ne ! paNa pAMtrIsa varSa pachI jarA enA divasa AthamavA mAMDe, eTale e Page #138 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 217 tamane bahu herAna nA kare. pachI tamArA dhAryA pramANe cAlyA kare, e tamArA vicArone AdhIna rahe. tamArI icchA nA bagaDe, tamane pachI koI nukasAna nA kare. paNa pAMtrIsa varSa sudhI to bahu ja jokhamadArI !! praznakartA : pAMtrIsa varSa sudhI kaI sephasAIDa ? dAdAzrI : e to ApaNo nizcaya ! draDha nizcaya ane joDe pratikramaNa ! praznakartA : eka vakhata draDha nizcaya thaI jAya, pachI zuM ? dAdAzrI : pachI nizcaya Dage nahIM, eTale basa thaI rahyuM ! praznakartA : atyAre amAro draDha nizcaya thaI gayo kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : haju nA gaNAya. haju to bahu vAra lAgaze. eTale hamaNAM to tamAre brahmacArIonA saMgamAM ja rahevuM. bAkI nirbhayapada mAnI levA jevuM nahIM. praznakartA : lazkara eTale zuM ? pratikramaNa ? dAdAzrI : pratikramaNa, draDha nizcaya, e badhuM lazkara rAkhavuM paDe ane 'jJAnI puruSa'nAM darzana, e darzanathI chUTA paDI jAva to ya veSa thaI paDe. eTale sephasAIDa e kaMI sahelI vastu nathI. praznakartA : Ape kaheluM ke brahmacArIno saMga, saMsArIothI dUra ane satsaMganI puSTi, A traNa 'kaoNjhIjha' sevazo to badhuM thaI raheze. dAdAzrI : e badhuM nizcayane helpa kare che ane nizcaya baLavAna karavo, e ApaNA hAthanI vAta che ne ! satsaMganA bhIDAmAM rahevAthI mANasa bagaDe nahIM. kusaMgano bhIDo Ave to mANasa khalAsa thaI jAya. are, saheja kusaMga aDake to ya khalAsa thaI jAya. dUdhapAka hoya, temAM saheja mIThuM nAkhyuM to ? praznakartA : Avo AnaMda to kyAMya joyelo ja nahIM. eTale kyAMya 218 javAnuM mana nA thAya, ahIM ja game. samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : sinemAmAM AnaMda maLato haze ne ? praznakartA : paNa pAchuM bahAra nIkaLyA eTale enAM e ja. dAdAzrI : hA, hato teno te ja pAcho. aDhAra rUpiyA to vaparAI gayA ane UlaTI upAdhi thaI, traNa kalAkano TAIma khoyo. manuSya janmamAM traNa kalAka te bagADAtAM haze ke ? praznakartA : traNa kalAka to jue, paNa AgaLa-pAchaLa bIjI taiyArI kare temAM ya vakhata jAya ne ! dAdAzrI : hA, e TAIma pAcho judo. huM lokone pUchuM chuM ke, 'ciMtA thAya che tyAre zuM karo cho ?' tyAre kahe che ke, 'sinemA jovA jato rahuM chuM.' alyA, A sAco upAya na hoya. A to agnimAM peTrola nAkhIne holavavA jevI vAta che. A jagata peTrolanI agnithI baLI ja rahyuM che ne ? evI rIte jyAre A sUkSma agni che eTale dekhAtuM nathI, sthULa nathI baLatuM. kaLIyugano pavana bahu khoTo che. A to jJAnane laIne bacI jAya che, nahIM to kaLIyuganA pavananI jhApaTo evI vAge ke mANasane khalAsa karI nAkhe. A to jhaMjhAvAtamAM phrekacara thaI jAya badhuM. eTale jeTalAM amane maLyA eTalA badhA bacI gayA. A to jhaMjhAvAta che, pravAha che, emAM athaDAI-phUTAIne maravAnuM ! rAta-dahADo baLatarA !! kema karIne jIvAya che te ja ajAyabI che !!! viSayI vAtAvaraNathI vyApyo vyApAra ! praznakartA : ophisamAM badhe kusaMga bahu che. tyAM badhI AvI viSayonI ne AvI ja vAta cAlatI hoya eTale e ramaNatA enI ja cAlyA kare. dAdAzrI : A jagata atyAre kusaMga svarUpa ja che. eTale koI joDe UbhuM rahevA jevuM nathI kaze. Page #139 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 2 19 praznakartA : ema thAya ke kyAre chUTe A. dAdAzrI : kAM to ekalA besI rahevuM, kAM to ahIM AvIne satsaMgamAM paDI rahevuM, game tyAre. kusaMgamAM nathI UbhuM rahevA jevuM. praznakartA : paNa mane nokarIno jarA paNa zokha nathI. dAdAzrI : zuM karIzuM nA jAva to? bahArano kusaMga aDavo nA joIe, dAdAnuM nididhyAsana niraMtara rahevuM joIe. AMkha mIMcIne dAdA dekhAya to kusaMga aDe ja nahIM ne ! ophisamAM kusaMga maLI Ave che, nahIM ? praznakartA : eTale ApaNane nA gamatuM Ave eTale pachI saMgharSa thAya. dAdAzrI : saMgharSa thaIne paNa nikAla thaI jAya ne ? e Ave che ne, 'haju koI bIjA hoya to AvI jAva, mAre to nikAla karI nAkhavA che' kahIe, gabharAvAnuM nahIM. jyAM mAnasika saMgharSa che, tyAM emAM te vAra zuM lAge ? dehano saMgharSa nA thavo joIe. mAnasika saMgharSano vAMdho nahIM, eno nikAla thaI jaze. na saMbhaLAya viSayI vANI ! viSaya-vikAranI vANI ya sAMbhaLe nahIM, pote bole paNa nahIM, e viSayanI vAta sAMbhaLIe to manamAM zuM thAya ? praznakartA : mana bagaDe ? dAdAzrI : eTale evI vANI pote bole ya nahIM, ko'ka bolato hoya to te sAMbhaLe ya nahIM. A vANI e mahAbhArata nathI ke sAMbhaLavA jevI hoya. praznakartA : ophIsamAM beThA hoya to, e pharajiyAta sAMbhaLavAnI Ave to ? dAdAzrI : to ApaNane nA coMTe evuM karavuM. ApaNane inTaresTa 220 samajathI prApta brahmacarya hoya to ja saMbhaLAya, nahIM to saMbhaLAya nahIM. ApaNo inTaresTa nA hoya to kAna sAMbhaLe paNa ApaNane saMbhaLAya nahIM ! praznakartA : upayoganI kacAza haze eTale AvuM thAya ? dAdAzrI : upayogamAM to badhuM Akho ya kacAza che. jo upayoga hoya to peluM nA hoya ane peluM hoya to upayoga nA hoya ! praznakartA : peluM Ape kIdheluM ne ke cha mahinA sudhI vicAra Ave ke "paiNavuM che, paiNavuM che." chatAM ya pote sthira rahe potAnAM nizcayamAM to to pAra nIkaLIe. - dAdAzrI : peluM uDI jAya. nizcaya majabUta hovo joIe. nizcaya DhIlo nA hoya. praznakartA: pachI sarvisamAM A badhA je kusaMgo bhegA thAya che. eno nikAla karI nAMkhavAno. e je Ape kIdhuM, to emAM zuM karavAnuM ? e nikAla kevI rIte karavAno ? dAdAzrI : ApaNI AjJA pALIne, pratikramaNathI, nikAla karI nAkhavAno. nikAla karavo che tene nikAla thaI jAya ane jene laDavuM che. te laDe ane nikAla karavo hoya te nikAla karI nAkhe. tArI IcchA to nikAla karavAnI ne ? game tevuM hoya to ya ? praznakartA H ophisamAM joDavALA mane pUche, chokarI jue to tane kaMI asara thAya ke nahIM ? dAdAzrI : pachI ? praznakartA : pachI huM kahuM chuM ke chokarI jouM to AkarSaNa thAya che. paNa lagna nathI karavAno evuM kaheto nathI. e loko nahIM to TIkhaLa kare ke tuM chokarI jue ane tane kaMI asara nA thAya to tArAmAM kaMI dama ja nathI. evuM badhuM nakkI kare e loko. pachI evo pracAra kare eTale pachI kahuM ke mane AkarSaNa thAya che. Page #140 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 222 samajathI prApta brahmacarya 221 dAdAzrI : evuM khoTuM nA bolavuM. dama ene ja kahevAya che ke AkarSaNa na thAya, dama vagaranAMne ja AkarSaNa bahu thAya ulyuM. "mane thatuM nathI, mane to aDe ja nahIM.' kahIe. tethI ApaNe kahIe chIe ne ke bhaI, A Aptaputro eka jagyAe pesI jAya, pachI AvI vAto sAMbhaLavAnI nA maLe. poIjhana caDhe nahIM. samabhAvItuM ToLuM !! A bahArano paricaya che e avaLo paricaya che ane jJAnIono paricaya pUro thayo nathI. jo paricaya thayo hota to AvuM thAta nahIM. eTalA mATe jJAnIo pAse paDI rahevAnuM. bahAranA paricayathI to A badho mAra khAdho che ne ?! bahAranA paricayathI badhuM ja bagaDyA kare, bahu bagaDe. jo brahmacarya pALavuM hoya, to bahArano paricaya rahe ane brahmacarya pALI zakIe, e be bane nahIM ! e to ToLuM AkhuM joIe, rahevAnuM sthAna juduM joIe, tyAM bhegA besIne vAtacIta kare, satsaMga kare, ghaDIvAra AnaMda kare. emanI duniyA ja navI ! AmAM to brahmacArIo bhegA rahevA joIe. badhA bhegA nA rahe ne ghera rahe to muzkelI ! brahmacArIonA saMga vagara brahmacarya nA pALI zakAya. brahmacArIonuM ToLuM hovuM joIe ane te ya paMdara-vIsa mANasanuM joIe. badhA bhegA rahe to vAMdho nA Ave. be-traNanuM kAma nahIM. paMdara-vIsanI te havA ja lAgyA kare. havAthI ja vAtAvaraNa badhuM UMcuM rahe, nahIM to brahmacarya rAkhavuM te saheluM nathI. ApaNe kaMI ochI peDhI kADhavA AvyA chIe ? kaMI gAdI sthApavA AvyA chIe ? A to ApaNe nikAla karavA mATe AvyA chIe, paNa A to vacce navI AITama nIkaLI ! te eme ya nA kahevAya ke tuM brahmacarya nA pALIza ane hA ke nA kahevAya ke tuM pALaje. karmanA udaya hoya to pALI ya zake ane pALI zake eTale ApaNe nA na kahevAya. brahmacarya hoya to lokonuM kalyANa karavAmAM pachI nimitta banI zake ! brahmacarya mATe gayA avatAramAM kaMIka nizcaya karelo hoya, tyAre to A avatAramAM nizcaya karavAno vicAra Ave, nahIM to e vicAra ja nA Ave. bAkI dekhAdekhIthI kareluM kAma ja nahIM, svAbhAvika hovuM joIe. samajathI prApta brahmacarya saMga eka ja prakArano hovo joIe. bIjo saMga pesavo nA joIe. dUdha to dUdha ane dahIM to dahIM, ane dUdha ane dahIM saheja najIka mUkyA hoya to ya dUdha phATI jAya. pachI cA nA thAya. saMgabaLatI sahAyatA, brahmacarya mATe ! praznakartA : saMganuM ATaluM badhuM mahattva kema che ? dAdAzrI : saMga upara to AdhAra rAkhe che. praznakartA : ATalAM badhA bhegA thAya che eTale saMgabaLa vadhyuM to pariNatI ya UMcI jatI rahe, evuM kharuM ? dAdAzrI : hA, e jema saMgabaLa vadhe tema pariNatI UMcI jAya. hamaNAM traNa ja satsaMgI hoya to ochI pariNatI rahe, pAMca hoya to pAMca jeTalI rahe ane hajAra mANasa hoya to pachI kazo vicAra ja nA Ave. badhAnI sAmasAmI IphekTa paDe. atyAre brahmacarya rahe che, te tamArI puNya che ne puNya phare tyAre puruSArthanI jarUra ! AnA mATe ToLAmAM rahevuM. ToLAmAM ekamekanA vicAronI asaro paDe ! brahmacarya pALavuM saheluM nathI, emAM kudaratanI yArI joIe. ApaNI purve ane puruSArtha joIe. pachI AnaMda utpanna thaze ane te ya tame badhA bhegA raho tyAre thAya. kAraNa ke sAmasAmI asaro thAya. pacAsa brahmacArIonI sAthe pAMca nAlAyaka mANasa mUkIe to zuM thAya ? dUdha phATI jAya. dAdA to taiyAra ja che, tamArA badhAno nizcaya joIe. badhAnuM rAge paDI jaze. atyAre khattA khAva cho te ya sAruM che, kAraNa ke anubhava pahelAM thaI gayo hoya pachI tame juo ja nahIM, paNa A bAjuno anubhava nA thayo hoya to pAcho kAco paDI jAya. dIkSA lIdhA pachI kAcI paDe to vagovAya ulaTo, pAcho ene kADhI mele tyAMthI ! praznakartA : e to bahu moTI jokhamadArI kahevAya. dAdAzrI : jokhamadArI ja ne ! tyAMthI badhA kADhI ja mUke. pachI nA rahe gharano ane nA rahe ghATano ! enA karatAM atyAre ahIM bhUlacUka thaI Page #141 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 223 haze te calAvI levAze, paNa pachI tyAM to bhUla nA ja thavI joIe. tane khattA khAvAnA maLe che ke nahIM ? praznakartA : e ya khattA khAvA jevA nathI. dAdAzrI : khAvA jevA nathI, paNa e khavAI jAya che ne ! paNa tyAM AgaLa jo khattA khAzo, tyAM 'brahmacarya AzramamAM rahevAnuM hoya, tyAM AgaLa kaMI bhUlacUka thAya to badhA bhegA thaIne kADhI ja mUke. mATe pahelethI cetIne cAlavuM, chatAM khattA khAIe, to noMdha rAkhyA karavI. cAritranI bUma nA hovI joIe ! cAritranI bUma AvI tyAM dharma ja nathI. evuM to AkhuM jagata kabUla kare. cAritranI bhAMjagaDa nA hoya tyAM. jo bIjI bhUlacUka haze to calAvI levAze, paNa cAritranI bhAMjagaDa to na ja calAvI levAya. cAritra to mukhya AdhAra che. dharmamAM to viSayano zabda ja nA hoya. dharma haMmezA viSayanI viruddha ja hoya. A brahmacarya tame sAcavavAnA ke ? praznakartA : hA dAdA, sAcavavAnA. dAdAzrI : huM badhAMne e ja kahuM chuM ke tamAre nizcaya majabUta karavo joIe. ApaNuM 'jJAna' che te pAra utAre evuM che, bAkI "jJAna" nA hoya to pAra ja nA utare. 'jJAna'nA AdhAre, 'jJAnane lIdhe tamane zAMti rahe che, AnaMda rahe che. tame jJAnamAM peso eTale peluM viSayanuM du:kha tame bhUlI jAva. ApaNuM jJAna evuM sarasa che ke e viSaya vagara rahI zake che. kramika mArgamAM to strIne jovAya nahIM, aDAya nahIM, khAvAnuM bheguM karIne khAvAnuM, evA bahu jAtanA kAyadA hoya. brahmacarya to evuM hoya ke Ama moTuM joIne ja loka aMjAI jAya, evo brahmacArI puruSa to dekhAya ! [12] titikSAtAM tape keLavo mata-deha !! bhaNo pATha titikSAtA... titikSA eTale zuM ? ghAsa ke parALamAM sUI javAnuM thAya tyAre kAMkarA khUMcatA hoya, te ghaDIe yAda Ave ke, baLyuM, ghera keTaluM sarasa majhAnuM hatuM.' to e titikSA nA kahevAya. kAMkarA khUMce te sarasa che evuM lAgavuM joIe. A to meM tamane sUvA ekalAnI ja bAbata kahI, bAkI jyAre tevA saMjoga bese tyAre zuM karavuM paDe ? eTale dareka bAbatamAM AvuM hoya. sahana nA thAya evI sakhata TADhamAM vagara oDhavAne sUvAnuM thayuM to tyAM zuM karo ? tame to evI prekTisa nahIM pADelI. meM to pahelAM AvI bahu prekTisa karelI. paNa have to A saMjoga badhA evA suMvALA bhegA thayA ke mAro UlaTo titikSA guNa ghaTI gayo, nahIM to meM to badhA titikSA guNa keLavelA. A jainoe bAvIsa prakAranA pariSaha sahana karavAnuM kahyuM. eTale A badhuM samajavAnI jarUra che. eTale have tame zarIra mATe titikSA guNa keLavo, eTale A zarIrane muzkelInI prekTisa paDI jAya ! khorAkamAM je maLyuM temAM Azcarya nA thAya ke "AvuM ? A to zI rIte bhAve ?" evuM TADha-taDako badhI Page #142 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 225 bAbatamAM joIe. rAtre be vAge tamane koI UThAvI jAya ane pachI smazAnamAM jaIne tamane mUkI de to tamArI zI dazA thAya ? eka bAju citA saLagatI hoya, bIjI bAju hADakAMmAMthI phospharasanA bhaDakA thatA hoya, to te ghaDIe tamane mahIM zuM thAya ? praznakartA : evuM vicAreluM ja nahIM ne ! dAdAzrI : evuM vicAryuM ja nathI ? praznakartA: amAre vastunI samaja nathI eTale anubhava thato nathI. anubhava niraMtara raheto nathI evo ? dAdAzrI : A tamane to samajaNa ja nahIM ne ! A to tamane nahIM ThaMDaka enI meLe rahe tyAM sudhI ja barAbara rahe, paNa e to UDI jatAM vAra ja nahIM lAge ne ! A chokarAone kazI samajaNa ja nahIM ne ! emane koI kahe ke, "bAbA, le A biskiTa', to pelo biskiTa ApIne hIro paDAvI le. eTale AmanI samajaNa kevI ? vastunI kiMmata ja nahIM ne ! paNa A chokarAo puNyazALI kharAM, paNa bALaka kahevAya. A badhA vrata lenArA badhA ya bALaka kahevAya. saheja du:kha Ave to A badhuM ya bhelADI de ! A to game tevA duHkhane gaNakAre nahIM tyAre A vrata rahe. mArI AjJAmAM cokhkho rahe tyAre A vrata rahe ! praznakartA : Apa titikSA guNa kahetA hatA ke game te avasthAmAM du:kha sahana karavAnuM, evuM ? dAdAzrI : A lokoe kazuM ya duHkha joyuM ja nathI. duHkha jovAnuM hoya, te pahelAM to A lokono AtmA UDI jAya ! chatAM paNa Ama karatAM karatAM A chokarAo poSAI jAya ne dasa-vIsa varSa thaI jAya to pachI ene geDa besI jAya badhI ne mULiyAM nAkhI de. bAkI, A to badhA pomalA mANaso kahevAya. praznakartA : Ama to badhA sTroMga lAge che. 226 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : koNa A ? nA, e to evuM lAge tamane. paNa A to badhA pomalA ! A to tarata badhuM ya choDI de. sTroMga to, game te thAya, maravAno thAya to ya AtmA mAro ne dAdAnI AjJA choDuM nahIM, enuM nAma sTroMga kahevAya. je AvavuM hoya te Avo, kahIe ! have A chokarAonuM badhAnuM gajuM ja zuM ? titikSA nAmano guNa Amano keLavAyelo ja nathI ne ?! praznakartA: Apane page phrekacara thayuM hatuM, jonDisa thayo hato, AvA badhA kaSTo sAmaTAM AvyAM, eka ja jagyAe, eka ja pojhIzanamAM cAra mahinA besI rahevAnuM, to A badhuM TesTa ekjhAminezana kahevAya ne ?! dAdAzrI : A to kaSTa ja na hatuM, Ane kaSTa nA kahevAya. praznakartA : tamane nA lAge. dAdAzrI : nA, bIjAne ya kaSTa nA gaNAya. Ane kaMI kaSTa gaNAtuM haze ? are, kaSTa to tame joyAM nathI. A brahmacArIjI patharA upara UbhA rahIne tapa karatA hatA, te emane joyA hoya to tamane ema manamAM thAya ke AvuM eka dahADo ya ApaNAthI nahIM thAya. mane hau thatuM ne, ke A prabhuzrInA ziSya brahmacArIjI AvuM kare to prabhuzrI keTaluM karatA haze ? ane kRpALudeva to vaLI kevuM ya karatA haze !!! loka emanA parathI maccharAM UDADI jAya ne kaMIka oDhADI jAya to e pote oDhavAnuM kADhI nAkhe ane nirAMte maccharAM kaDavA de ! eka AtmA ja prApta karavo che, evo dhyeya laIne beThelA. have Amane A puNyathI maphatamAM prApta thaI gayuM che, bAkI titikSA hovI joIe. praznakartA : e lokoe kramika mArga hato eTale tyAga karyo hato. ApaNA akrama mArgamAM titikSA karavI hoya to zuM karavAnuM ? dAdAzrI : ApaNe ahIM tyAga karavAnI jarUra nathI. AtmA prApta karelAne evA saMjogo ko'ka vakhata utpanna thAya che. te vakhate jo e sTroMga rahyo to rahyo, nahIM to phaphaDI uThe. mATe pahelethI taiyArI rAkhavI joIe. praznakartA : A chokarAo atyAre je sukhanA sarAunDIMgamAM jIve Page #143 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 227 che, e sukhanA pramANamAM emane koI uThAvIne smazAnamAM mUkI Ave to te vadhAre paDatuM duHkha kahevAya ne ? dAdAzrI : kema smazAnamAM ? tyAM zuM du:kha che ? praznakartA : e barAbara che, paNa amAsanI rAtre aMdhArAmAM koI dahADo gayo nA hoya ane tyAM peluM ghuvaDa pakSI bole to..... dAdAzrI : hA, ghuvaDa to zuM ? paNa eka kAgaDo UDe to ya phaTAkA mAre. eTale A lokoe du:kha samatApUrvaka sahana karavuM joIe. je kaMI paNa karo te mane pUchIne karajo. A lokone haju to ATaluM ya du:kha sahana karavAnI zakti nathI. polIsavALo mAre ne kahe ke, 'tame pharI jAva cho ke nathI pharI jatA ?' to A loko pharI jAya, AtmA ne badhuM ya choDI de. jyAre pelA kramika mArgavALAne ghANIe pIle to ya koI AtmA nA choDe. titikSA e jainono zabda nathI, e vedAMtIono zabda che. keLavAya manobaLa, titikSAthI ! praznakartA : A titikSAne amAre keLavavI paDaze ne ? dAdAzrI : have e guNa Devalapa karavA jAya tyAre AtmA khoI nAkhe. mATe tamAre javAno vakhata Ave to ya AtmAne nA choDazo, eTaluM eka mahIM rAkhajo. deha chUTI jaze, to deha to pharI maLaze, paNa AtmA pharI maLavAno nathI. 228 samajathI prApta brahmacarya tyAM kaMI khaI javAno che koI? alyA, kaMI AtmAne khaI javAno che ? khaI jaze to dehane khaI jaze. tyAM smazAnamAM kazuM nathI. khAlI ApaNI mananI nabaLAIo che. hA, be dahADA prekaTIsa levI paDe. bAkI AmanI AvI tevI parIkSA nA karAya. te pachI tAva Utare ja nahIM. DaoNkaTarothI ya nA Utare. Ane bhaDakano tAva kahevAya. bhaDakano tAva to ame bahu vidhio karIe tyAre Utare. enA karatAM sUI rahejone ghera chAnAmAnA, dekha leMge AgaLa. A vedAMtIoe titikSA guNa keLavavAnuM kaheluM, jainoe bAvIsa pariSaha sahana karavAnA kahelA. bhUkha utpanna thAya, tarasa utpanna thAya, mahIM kakaLe e rIte utpanna thAya, e badhuM samatAbhAve sahana karavAnuM zIkho. tarasa to A lokoe joyelI ja nahIM. jaMgalamAM gayA hoIe ne pANI nA maLe, enuM nAma tarasa. e bhUkha-tarasa ame joyelI. konTrAkTanAM kAmamAM jaMgalomAM ne badhe gayelA tyAre joyelI. pachI hima paDe evI TADha sahana nA thAya, satata taDako paDe, A zaheramAM paDe che evo nahIM. bomba paDatA hoya tyAre manobaLanI khabara paDe ! manobaLavALAne juo to manobaLa utpanna thAya. paNa jagate, jIve manobaLa joyuM nathI ! amArAmAM to gajabanuM manobaLa hoya, paNa te jo jo kare ne, e jeTaluM jue eTalI zakti enAmAM Ave. huM te rUpa thaI gayo chuM ane tame dhIme dhIme te rUpa thaI rahyA cho. te eka dahADo te rUpa thaI jazo. paNa tamane rasto TUMko maLI gayo che ane mAre to rasto bahu lAMbo maLyo hato. huM tyAga ne titikSA karI karIne Avyo chuM. titikSA to pAra vagaranI karelI. eka dahADo zetaraMjI para sUI javAnuM, eka dahADo be godaDAM para sUI javAnuM. jo zetaraMjI para Teva paDI jAya to be godaDAMmAM UMgha nA Ave ane godaDAMmAM Teva paDI jAya to zetaraMjI para UMgha nA Ave ! praznakartA: amAre paNa tamArI jema tyAga ne titikSAmAMthI nIkaLI javAnuM rahyuM ? dAdAzrI : nahIM, tamAre evuM kazuM rahyuM nahIM ne ! tamane to ema ne ema 'phrI opha kosTa' maLyuM. eTale tamAre to gADuM cAlyA kare. tamArI praznakartA: jema jema kALa badalAto jAya tema tema du:kha sahana karavAnI zakti paNa ghaTatI jAya ne ? dAdAzrI : evuM nathI. duHkha to kALane aDe nahIM. e to manobaLa joIe. amane jovAthI bahu manobaLa utpanna thAya ne manobaLa hoya to ja kAma cAle, game tevAM duHkha hoya to ya manobaLavALo mANasa tene pasAra karI nAkhe. have, mAruM zuM thaze?" evuM e nA bole. smazAnamAM jAya ne tyAM bhaDako dekhe to A loka phaphaDI jAya. temAM Page #144 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 23 samajathI prApta brahmacarya ja. A bahAranuM sukha le che eTale aMdaranuM sukha bahAra pragaTa thatuM nathI. praznakartA : A khAvAmAMthI sukha jAya, te pachI bIjA badhAmAM phikyuM ja lAge. samajathI prApta brahmacarya 229 puNya to bhAre ne ! upavAsa-UNodarI mAtra "jAgRti' hetue ! meM AkhI jiMdagI ekuMya upavAsa nathI karyo ! hA, covIyAra karelA, bAkI kazuM kareluM nahIM. mAre pittanI prakRti, te eka upavAsa thAya nahIM. ApaNe have AnI jarUra zI che te ? ApaNe AtmA thaI gayA !! have A badhuM parAyuM, pArakA dezanuM ane phorena DIpArTamenTamAM ApaNe zI bhAMjagaDa ATalI badhI ? A to jene brahmacarya vrata levAnuM che, temane A bhAMjagaDo karavAnI. nahIM to ApaNA 'pAMca vAkyo'mAM to badhuM AvI jAya che. A pAMca vAkyo evAM che ke enAthI niraMtara saMyama pariNAma rahe. loko je saMyama rAkhe che, e saMyama ja nA gaNAya. ene vyavahAra saMyama kahevAya, ke jene vyavahAramAM loko dekhI zake evo hoya che ! jyAre ApaNo to sAco saMyama che. paNa loka tamane saMyama che evuM nA kahe. kAraNa ke tamAre nizcaya saMyama che. nizcaya saMyama e mokSanuM kAraNa che ane vyavahAra saMyama e saMsAranuM kAraNa che, saMsAramAM UMcI puNya baMdhAve. ApaNane upavAsanI jarUra nathI, paNa "ApaNuM jJAna' evuM che ke upavAsamAM bahu jAgRti rahe. sAro kALa hoya ne upavAsa hoya to kevaLajJAna thaI jAya !! paNa A kALa ja evo nathI ne !!! upavAsamAM zuM thAya ? A dehamAM je jAmI gayelo kacaro hoya, te baLI jAya. upavAsane dahADe vANInI bahu chUTa nA hoya to vANIno kacaro baLI jAya ane mana to Akho dahADo suMdara pratikramaNa karyA karatuM hoya, jAtajAtanuM karyA karatuM hoya eTale bIjo badho kacaro paNa baLyA ja kare. eTale upavAsa bahu ja kAma lAge. aThavADiyAmAM eka divasa, ravivAre upavAsa karavo. pachI be dahADA sAthe nA karavA, nahIM to kaMIka roga pesI jAya. upavAsa karo, te dahADe to bahu sAro AnaMda thAya ne ?! praznakartA : upavAsa karyo hoya, e rAtre judI ja jAtano AnaMda lAge che, enuM zuM kAraNa ? dAdAzrI : bahAranuM sukha nA le eTale aMdaranuM sukha utpanna thAya dAdAzrI : bIjAmAM paDI rahyuM ja zuM che ? badhI jIbhanI ja bhAMjagaDa che ne ?! jIbhanI ne A strI parigraha, be ja bhAMjagaDa che ne ? bIjI koI bhAMjagaDa ja nahIM ne ?! kAna to sAMbhaLyuM to ya zuM ne nA sAMbhaLyuM to ya zuM ? AMkhe jovAnuM lokone bahu game, paNa te tamane bahu rahyuM nathI. AMkhanA viSaya rahyA nahIM ne ? sinemA jovA nathI jatA ne ? jJAtIo e tavAyAM UNodarI tapa ! ame UNodarI tapa TheTha sudhI rAkheluM ! beu TAIma jarUriyAta karatAM ochuM ja khAvAnuM, kAyamane mATe ! UNuM ja khAvAnuM eTale mahIM jAgRti niraMtara rahe. UNodarI tapa eTale zuM ke roja cAra roTalI khAtA hoya to pachI be karI nAkhe, enuM nAma UNodarI tapa kahevAya. evuM che ne, AtmA AhArI nathI, paNa A deha che, pudgala che, e AhArI che ane deha jo bheMsa jevo thaI jAya, pudgalazakti jo vadhI jAya to AtmAne nirbaLa karI nAkhe che. praznakartA : UNodarI karavAnuM jyAre mana bahu thAya che tyAre ja vadhAre khavAI jAya che ! dAdAzrI : UNodarI to kAyamanuM rAkhavuM joIe. UNodarI vagara to jJAna-jAgRti rahe nahIM. A je khorAka che, te pote ja dArU che. ApaNe je khorAka khAIe chIe, teno mahIM dArU thAya che. pachI Akho dahADo dArUno kepha rahyA kare ane kepha rahe eTale jAgRti baMdha thaI jAya. praznakartA : UNodarI ane brahmacaryane keTaluM kanekzana ? dAdAzrI : UNodarIthI to ApaNane jAgRti vadhAre rahe. ethI brahmacarya rahe ja ne !! upavAsa karavA karatAM UNodarI sAruM, paNa ApaNe 'UNodarI rAkhavuM joIe' evo bhAva rAkhavo ane khorAka bahu cAvIne Page #145 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 232 samajathI prApta brahmacarya paDe. kaMI paNa moDhAmAM hAlavuM joIe. eTale AvuM game tyAre khAva, e to bahu khoTuM kahevAya. vacce nA khavAya pachI. khAdhA pachI kazuM ja nAkhavuM nA joIe. samajathI prApta brahmacarya 231 jamavuM. pelA be lADavA khAtA hoya to tamAre eTalA TAImamAM eka lADavo khAvo. eTale TAIma sarakho ja le, paNa khavAya ochuM. meM khAdhuM evuM rahe ane UNodarIno lAbha maLe. bahu TAIma cAve to lAbha bahu sAro rahe. praznakartA : A UNodarI karIe chIe, to jamI lIdhA pachI betraNa kalAkamAM mahIM khAvAnI icchA thayA kare che. pachI evuM thAya aMdara kazuMka nAkhIe, je maLe e. dAdAzrI : te ekalo paDe ke phAkI mAre pachI. e ja jovAnuM che ne (!) ahIM game teTaluM paDyuM hoya to ya paNa ekalo paDe to ya aDe nahIM, evuM hovuM joIe ! TAIme ja khAvAnuM. e sivAya bIjuM kaMI paNa vacce aDavAnuM nA hoya. TAIma vagara je khAya che, eno artha ja nahIM ne ! e badhuM miniMgalesa che. enAthI to jIbha paNa bahelAya, pachI zuM rahyuM ? nAdArI nIkaLe ! amAre to badhI vastu Ama paDI hoya to paNa ame aDIe nahIM, kazuM nA aDIe ! A to aDyA ne moDhAmAM nAkhyuM eTale pachI oTomeTika cAlu thaI jaze, jo aDazo ne to ya ! tamAre to eTaluM nakkI karavAnuM ke ApaNe aDavuM nathI, to gADuM rAge cAle. nahIM to pudgalano svabhAva evo che ke Ama jamavA besADe ne, to bhAtane jarA moDuM thayuM hoya to loka dALamAM hAtha ghAle, zAkamAM hAtha ghAle ne khA, khA karyA kare. jANe moTI ghaMTI hoya ne, tema mahIM nAkha, nAkha kare. alyA, bhAta AvatAM sudhI besI rahene chAnomAno, paNa besAya nahIM ne ! dALamAM hAtha ghAle ne nA hoya to chevaTe caTaNI jarA jIbhe copaDa copaDa karaze. moTA milavALA ha ! A pudgalano svabhAva baLyo evo che ! emAM A lokono kaMI doSa nathI. huM hau dALamAM hAtha ghAla, ghAla karuMne ! praznakartA : eTale ApaNe emAM nakkI ja karavAnuM ema ? dAdAzrI : emAM jo aDyA to pachI e vadhatuM jAya. eTale ApaNe nakkI karI nAkhIe ke ATaluM ja pramANa AkhA divasamAM levuM. to pachI gADuM niyamamAM cAle ane vacceno ATalo vakhata moDhAmAM kazuM mUkavuM ja nahIM. A loko badhA pAna zA hAruM cAvatA haze ? moDhAmAM kaMIka mUkavuM evI Teva, te pachI pAna cAve. kaMI paNa moDhAmAM ghAle tyAre ene majA UNodarI eTale ApaNane pramANa samajAya ke Aje bhUkha bahu lAgI che eTale traNa lADu khavAI jaze. eTale eka lADu ocho karI nAkhavo. koka vakhata be lADu khavAze evuM mAluma paDe to te ghaDIe savA lADavo khAvo. pramANa ApaNane samajAya tenAthI ApaNe ochuM karI nAkhavuM, UNuM karI nAMkhavuM. nahIM to Akho divasa DojhIMga raheze. mULa to, jagatanA loko, eka to ughADI AMkhe UMdhe che ane pachI A pAchuM DojhIMga thAya. jAgRti ane Ane, A bene meLa zI rIte khAya ? mATe UNodarI jevuM koI tapa nathI. bhagavAne bahu suMdaramAM suMdara rasto batAvyo che ke UNuM rAkhajo. koI ATha lADavA khAto hoya to eNe pAMca lADavA khAvA joIe. roja eka lADavo khAto hoya to e kaheze, 'huM to eka ja lADavo khAuM chuM.' to ya nA cAle. eNe poNo lADavo khAvAno. eTale vItarAgoe bahu DahApaNapUrvaka eka eka vAkya kaheluM ke je jagatane hitakArI thaI paDe ! AhAra jAgRtie rakSI levAM vrata ! praznakartA : khorAka ane jJAnane zuM levAdevA ? dAdAzrI : khorAka ocho hoya to jAgRti rahe, nahIM to jAgRti rahe ja nahIM ne ! praznakartA : khorAkathI jJAnane keTalo bAdha Ave ? dAdAzrI : bahu bAdha Ave. khorAka bahu bAdhaka che. kAraNa ke A khorAka je peTamAM jAya che, teno pachI dArU thAya che ne Akho dahADo pachI dArUno kepha, meNo ne meNo carcA kare che. nahIM to A pAMca AjJAo meM ApI che, tenI jAgRti kema nA rahe ? emAM zuM bahu moTI vAta che ? ane jAgRti paNa badhAne ApelI ja che ne ?! paNa A khorAkanI bahu asara thAya che. ApaNe have khorAkano tyAga karavAno kahyo nathI. enI meLe jo tyAga thaI jAya to kharuM. jene saMyama levo che, saMyama eTale ke Page #146 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 233 brahmacarya pALavuM che te khorAka vadhAre le to tene potAne avaLI 'IphekTa' thAya. pachI ene e avaLI 'IphekTa'nAM rIjhalTa bhogavavAM paDe. jene brahmacarya pALavuM che, teNe khyAla rAkhavo ke amuka khorAkathI uttejanA vadhI jAya che. te khorAka ocho karI nAkhavo. carabIvALA khorAka jevA ke ghItela nA levAya, dUdhe ya jarA ochuM levuM, paNa dALa-bhAta-zAka-roTalI e badhuM nirAMte khAva ane te khorAkanuM pramANa ochuM rAkhavuM. dabANapUrvaka khAvuM nahIM. eTale khorAka keTalo levo joIe ke Ama meNo nA caDhe ane rAte traNa-cAra kalAka ja UMgha Ave eTalo khorAka levo joIe. praznakartA : A sAyanTisTo kahe che ke cha kalAkanI UMgha hovI joIe. dAdAzrI : to A gAya-bheMsane pUchI Ava ke tame keTalI vAra UMgho cho ? A maraghAne pUchI Ava ke keTalI vAra UMghe che ? brahmacArIne UMghavAnuM to nA hoya ! UMghavAnuM to hotuM haze ? UMghavAnuM to A je mahenata karanArAo che, e cha kalAka UMdhe. emane ghasaghasATa UMgha paNa Ave ! UMgha to kevI hovI joIe ke A TrenamAM besIne jaIe chIe tyAre pAMca-dasa jhokAM AvI jAya ke basa patI gayuM, pachI savAra thaI jAya. A to badho khAdhelAno meNo caDhe che, te pachI UMgha paNa ! khorAkamAM ghI-khAMDa karAve viSayakAMDa ! khorAke ya bahu ocho nA karI nAkhavo. kAraNa ke khorAka ocho khAva eTale jJAnarasa AMkhane lAITa Ape che, e jJAnarasa A taMtuomAMthI jato hoya, te rasa pachI mahIM nA jAya ne naso badhuM sukAI jAya. juvAnI che eTale Ama bhaDakanA mAryA khorAka ekadama baMdha nahIM karI devAno. dALa-bhAta e badhuM khAva, e to jaldI pacI jAya evo khorAka ! ane pacIne pachI je lohI thAya ne e lohI ja vaparAzamAM Ave, roja kAmamAM AvI jAya eTaluM ja lohI thayA kare. eTale AgaLanuM proDakzana badhuM hatuM ke, te jUja thayA kare ! praznakartA : cokhkhuM ghI hoya to zuM khoTuM ? 234 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : ghI haMmezA mAMsa vadhAranAruM che ane mAMsa vadhe eTale vIrya vadhe, e brahmacArIonI lAIna ja na hoya ne ! eTale tame je khorAka khAva, te dALa-bhAta-kaDhI ekalAM khAva. to ya khorAkano svabhAva evo che ke ghI vagare ya enuM lohI thAya ane te helpIMga thAya. kAraNa ke kudarate evo niyama rAkhyo che ke garIba mANasa hoya, te AvuM badhuM zuM khAze ? te garIba mANasa je khAya che, te ya badhI ene zakti maLI rahe che ne ! evI rIte ApaNane A sAdA khorAkathI badhI zakti maLI rahe ! paNa je vikArI che, e khorAka nA hovo joIe. A hoTalanuM khAIe, enAthI zarIramAM kharAba paramANu pese. te pachI enI asara AvyA vagara rahe ja nahIM. ene mATe pachI upavAsa karavo paDe ane jAgRti rAkhavI. chatAM ya saMjogavazAt bahAranuM khAvuM paDe to khAI levuM, paNa temAM pachI lAbhAlAbha jovo. taLelAM bhajiyAM khAvA karatAM dUdha pI levuM sAruM. bahAranA pUrI-zAka karatAM gharanI khIcaDI pasaMda karavI ! AvaDAM nAnAM nAnAM chokarAMne magasa ne guMdarapAkane e badhuM khavaDAve che, te pachI enI asaro bahu kharAba paDe che, e bahu vikArI thaI jAya che. eTale nAnA chokarAne bahu nA ApavuM joIe, enuM pramANa sacavAvuM joIe. A mAlamalidA khAvAnuM e badhuM saMsArIo mATe che ke jene brahmacaryanI kaMI paDI nathI. jene brahmacarya pALavuM che, tenAthI to mAlamalido nA khavAya. ane khAvo ja hoya to thoDo khAvo ke jene bhUkha ja khaI jAya. mAlamalido khaIe to pAchuM joDe dALa-bhAta joIe, zAka joIe eTale pachI bhUkha khaI nA jAya. A kharAba vikAro AvavAnuM kAraNa ja A che, tenAthI vikArIbhAva utpanna thAya. bhUkha khaI jAya tyAM sudhI vikArIbhAva utpanna nA thAya. bhUkha nA khAya, tyAre pramAda thAya. pramAda thAya eTale vikAra thAya. pramAda eTale ALasa nahIM, paNa vikAra! pudgala herAna kare evI vastu che, e ApaNo pADozI che. pudgala vIryavAna hoya tyAre herAna nA kare. agara to bilakula ya AhAra ocho le, jIvavA pUrato ja AhAra le tyAre pugala herAna nA kare. khorAkathI to brahmacarya aTakyuM che. khorAkanI bAbatamAM jAgRta rahevuM joIe. A Page #147 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 235 to divaDo saLage eTaluM ja khAvAnuM hoya. khorAka to evo levo joIe ke meNo ja nA caDhe. ane UMgha evI hovI joIe ke bhIDamAM beThAM hoya pachI Ama khasAya nahIM, tema khasAya nahIM, evI bhIDamAM beThA beThAM UMgha AvI jAya te ja kharI UMgha. A to khorAkano meNo caDhe che, tenI pachI UMgha Ave che. A khAdhA pachI vidhi karo joIe, sAmAyika karo joIe, thAya che ? barobara nA thAya !! nahAvAtuM ya notare tuksAna ! A nahAvAthI badhA viSayo jAgRta thaI jAya che. A nahAvAdhovAnuM zene mATe che ? viSayI loko mATe ja nahAvAnI jarUra che, bAkI to jarA kapaDuM bhInuM karIne Ama lUchI nAkhavAnuM. je bIjo khorAka khAto nathI, tenuM zarIra kazuM ja gaMdhAya nahIM. eka mahinAthI sikanesa hoya pachI vikAra hoya che ? praznakartA : to na hoya. dAdAzrI : tyAre e sikanesa lAvavI. praznakartA : lAvavI ApaNA hAthanI vAta nathI ne ! dAdAzrI : tyAre zuM ApaNA hAthanI vAta ? to bhUkhyA rahe cAra dahADA eTale enI meLe vIsa dahADAnI sikanesa Ave ! cAra dahADA bhUkhyo rahe pachI vikAra nA hoya. samajathI prApta brahmacarya badhuM mAMge ! dAdAzrI : paNa te khorAka evo levo ke bhUkha lAge nahIM, evo zuSka AhAra ke jemAM dUdha-ghI-tela evuM badhuM bahu puSTikAraka khorAka bahu nA Ave. A dALa-bhAta-kaDhI khAvuM, e bahu puSTikAraka nA hoya. A kALamAM to kaMTrola karAya evAM saMjogo ja nathI ! dabANa karavA jAya to UlaTuM mana vadhAre kUdAkUda kare. eTale AhArI AhAra kare che ema javA devuM, paNa te pAchuM tamane brahmacaryamAM nukasAna nA kare eTaluM jarA jovuM ! khorAkane mATe tamAre kaMTrola ke nA kaMTrola evuM amAre kazuM kahevAnI jarUra nahIM. phakta jo kadI viSaya mUMjhavatA hoya, udayakarmano dhakko vadhAre lAgato hoya to eNe khorAka para kaMTrola mukavo joIe. puruSArtha eTale bIjuM to zuM ke tamAre caMdrezane kahevuM paDe. tamAre caMdreza joDe judApaNuM rAkhI vAtacIta thAya. kAraNa ke AtmA to kazuM bolato ja nathI, paNa mahIM je prajJA nAmanI zakti che, te kahe che ke jarAka khorAka ocho lezo to tamane ThIka anukULa raheze. kAraNa ke ahaMkAra karavA jAya to to ahaMkAra jIvato thAya. A jJAna ApyuM che tethI ahaMkAra nirjIva thayo che. 'vadhAre paDatuM khAvuM nathI' evuM nakkI karyA pachI bhUlathI khavAI jAya, to tene 'vyavasthita' che kahevuM. jIvavAnuM, dhyeya pramANe ! praznakartA: dareka kAryamAM nakkI karavuM paDe. Ama 'vadhAre khAvuM nathI' e nakkI karyuM, pachI jAgRti rAkhI, evI dareka kAryamAM jAgRti rAkhavI paDe. dAdAzrI : e upayoga rAkhyo, e ja jAgRti ! pramAda eTale khorAka khA khA karyA karavuM. eTale pachI badhAmAM ThekANuM ja nA hoya. Akho dahADo je Ave e Thoka Thoka kare. huM to keTalAya varSothI nAchUTake khauM chuM. ane mANasa mAMdo hoya, traNa dahADAno, ene viSaya mATe kahe ke pacAsa hajAra rUpiyA ApIza to kare ? praznakartA : nA kare, zakti nA hoya ne ! khorAka ocho levAya eTale cAlyuM. jIvavA mATe khAya, khAvA mATe jIve nahIM. pahelAM rAtre nahoto khAto te, te dahADe sAruM rahetuM'tuM ke atyAre sAruM rahe che ? praznakartA : pahelA bahu sAruM rahetuM'tuM. dAdAzrI : te jANI-joIne bagADyuM zuM karavA ? praznakartA : khAdhA pachI be-cAra kalAke pachI bhUkha lAge to bIjuM Page #148 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 237 dAdAzrI : A badhuM zakti kare che, khorAka ja kare che A badhuM. praznakartA : paugalika zakti. dAdAzrI : haM, ApaNe be-traNa dahADA khAdhA vagara kADhI nAkhavA. sAdhu evI ja rIte kADhe ne ? A upAya ! zakti hoya to viSaya kare ne ? upAya to karavo paDe ne ? 238 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : kaMdamULa na khavAya ? dAdAzrI : kaMdamULa khAvuM ne brahmacarya pALavuM, e roMga philosophI che, virodhI che. praznakartA: kaMdamULa nahIM khAvAnuM, jIvahiMsAne lIdhe ke bIjuM koI kAraNa che ? dAdAzrI : e kaMdamULa to abrahmacaryane jabarajasta puSTi ApanAruM che. AvA niyamo karavA paDe ke jethI enuM A kema brahmacarya rahe-Take. ane brahmacarya Take evo eno suMdara khorAka hoya. abrahmacaryathI badhI ramaNIyatA jatI rahe che ane brahmacarya pALe, te ramaNIya thAya. mANasa prabhAvazALI dekhAya. eTale mahinAmAM be vakhata bhUkhyA rahevAnuM. babbe-baLe dahADA. eTaluM tapa kare eTale peluM tapa thaI jAya. mahAvIra bhagavAne Aja kareluM ne ! badhAe Aja kareluM ne ! praznakartA: A nakkIpaNAne, TakAvI rAkhavA mATe koI upAya nathI thatA. dAdAzrI : A upAya. praznakartA H Apa kaho cho, to ya mAnasika taiyArI nathI thatI aMdarathI. dAdAzrI : to pachI ame kyAM nA kahyuM che paiNavAnuM ? praznakartA : Ape to kahyuM nathI paNa ame joyuM chene ! AvuM prApta thayA pachI to have bhUla nA ja karAya. dAdAzrI : to pachI DisAIDa karyA pachI kazuM aDe nahIM ! DisIjhana karyuM ane ApaNe evuM DhIluM bolIe to UlaTuM caDI bese. 'geTa AuTa' kahIe. to thoDoghaNo bahAra nAsI jAya. pachI pAcho bhego thaIne Ave. to pharI 'geTa AuTa' kahIe. kaMdamULa poSe viSayane ! dekhAdekhInuM brahmacarya vrata Take nahIM. eTale pachI je karavuM hoya te kare. paNa huM to cetavaNI ApuM ke brahmacarya pALavuM hoya to kaMdamULa na khavAya. praznakartA : atyAra sudhI ame kaMdamULa nhotA khAtAM. jJAna lIdhA pachI khAvAnuM zarU karyuM, to bAdhArUpa nA lAge ? doSa nA lAge ? dAdAzrI : kone doSa lAge emAM ? e DiscArjamAM zAno doSa ? ApaNe A brahmacArIone doSa lAgavA mATe nahIM, emane to e na khAya ne, to e peluM viSayanuM jora ochuM thaI jAya. emane to e rakSaNa mATe karavAnuM hoya. doSane ne Ane levAdevA nathI. praznakartA : A je varNana karyuM che ke soyanI aNI upara baTAkAnuM e mApanuM eka pIsa Ave, to anaMtA jIvo hoya che. e jIvone.. dAdAzrI : e badhuM kone mATe che ? jene buddhi vadhAravI hoya ne, tene mATe. emAM AgrahI thAya, te kyAre dahADo vaLe ?! ane A mokSano mArga nirAgrahI che, A jANavAnuM kharuM ane bane eTaluM ochuM karI devAnuM. Page #149 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ [13] ta ho asAra, pudgalasAra ! pudgalasAra che brahmacarya ! brahmacarya e zuM che ? e pudgalasAra che. ApaNe je khAvAnuM khaIe-pIe, e badhAMno sAra zuM rahyo ? 'brahmacarya'! e sAra jo tamane jato rahe to AtmAno je ene AdhAra che, te AdhAra 'lUjha' thaI jAya ! eTale brahmacarya mukhya vastu che. eka bAju jJAna hoya ne bIjI bAju brahmacarya hoya, to sukhano pAra ja nahIM ne ! pachI evuM cenja mAre ke na pUcho vAta ! kAraNa ke brahmacarya e pudgalasAra che ne ? A badhuM khAya che-pIve che, enuM zuM thatuM haze peTamAM ? praznakartA : lohI thAya. dAdAzrI : ane saMDAsa nahIM thatuM hoya ? praznakartA : thAya ne ! amuka khorAkanuM lohI, amuka saMDAsa vATe kacaro badho nIkaLI jAya. dAdAzrI : hA, ane amuka pANI vATe nIkaLI jAya. A lohInuM 240 pachI zuM thAya ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : lohInuM vIrya thAya. dAdAzrI : ema ! vIryane samajuM chuM ? lohInuM vIrya thAya, te vIryanuM pachI zuM thAya ? lohInI sAta dhAtuo kahe che ne ? emAMthI ekamAMthI hADakAM thAya, ekamAMthI mAMsa thAya, emAMthI pachI chevaTe chellAmAM chelluM vIrya thAya. chellI dazA vIrya thAya. vIrya e pudgalasAra kahevAya. dUdhano sAra e thI kahevAya, evuM A khorAka khAdhAno sAra vIrya kahevAya. have e sArane zuM maphatamAM ApI devuM joIe ke bahu moMghA bhAvathI vecavuM joIe ? praznakartA : moMghA bhAvathI vecavuM joIe. dAdAzrI : ema ? loka to paisA kharcIne vece che ne tuM kahe che ke moMghA bhAve vecavuM che, to moMghA bhAve tArI pAse koNa leze ? lokasAra e mokSa che ane pudgalasAra e vIrya che. jagatanI sarva cIjo adhogAmI che. vIrya ekaluM ja jo dhAre to UrdhvagAmI thaI zake. eTale vIrya UrdhvagAmI thAya evA bhAva bhAvavA joIe. vIryanA be gamana che. eka adhogamana ne bIjuM Urdhvagamana. adhogamana che tyAM sudhI pAzavatA che. praznakartA : A jJAnamAM rahIe to enI meLe Urdhvagamana thAya ja ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, ane A jJAna ja evuM che ke ApaNA jJAnamAM raho to kazo vAMdho nathI, paNa ajJAna UbhuM thAya tyAre mahIM A roga Ubho thAya. te ghaDIe jAgRti rAkhavI paDe. viSayamAM to pAra vagaranI hiMsA che, khAvA-pIvAmAM kaMI evI hiMsA nathI thatI. A jagatamAM sAyanTisTo ne badhA loko kahe che ke vIrya-raja adhogAmI che. paNa ajJAnatA che, tene lIdhe adhogAmI che. jJAnamAM to UrdhvagAmI thAya che. kAraNa ke jJAnano pratApa che ne ! jJAna hoya to kazo vikAra ja nA thAya, ne bhale pachI game tevI boDI hoya, game eTaluM khUba Page #150 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 241 khAto hoya. eTale mukhya vastu jJAna che. praznakartA : UrdhvagAmI ane adhogAmI, e banne 'rileTiva' zabdo nA thayA ? dAdAzrI : hA, 'rileTiva" ja kahevAya. paNa 'rileTiva'mAM Ama pheraphAra thAya to ApaNane lAbha maLe ! te ApaNA "jJAnathI' pheraphAra thAya evuM che. ApaNe zuM kahIe chIe ke ApaNe jJAna pragaTa rAkhIe, to badho pheraphAra enI meLe thayA kare. ApaNuM jJAna pragaTa nahIM rAkhavAthI e pheraphAra thato nathI. rileTivamAM to ApaNe kazuM karI zakIe tema nathI, paNa ApaNe ApaNAmAM karI zakIe tema chIe ane teno phoTo 'rileTiva' upara che. eTale ApaNe khAlI jAgRti ja rAkhavAnI che. vIryanA paramANu sUkSmarUpe ojasamAM pariNAma pAme che, ane pachI nIce utaravAnuM adhogAmI rahetuM nathI, A mAro anubhava che. e zaktio je DAuna thatI hatI te upara caDhe che. e saMsAramAM khAdhuM-pIdhuM, te badhI ja zakti be rIte pariNAme pAme. eka saMsArarUpe ne bIjuM aizcaryarUpe ! aho, aho ! e AtmavIryavALAne ! praznakartA : A jAgRti vadhatAM vadhatAM amuka limiTa sudhI AvyuM eTale ATale sudhI AvIne aTake. paNa bIjA koI prakAranuM Ama vyavahAramAM rIvolyuzana khulavAM joIe, e nathI UbhuM thatuM. dAdAzrI : tAre vyavahArika bahu nahIM ne ! paNa haju e zakti have UbhI thaze. AtmavIrya ja nathI ne ! AtmavIrya pragaTa thatuM nathI. evuM che ne, tAruM mana ATaluM ya vyavahAra sahana karavAnI zakti dharAvatuM nathI eTale bhAge che, bhAgIne ekAMtamAM pesI javA phare che. paNa A darzana pragaTa thayuM eTale 'potAnI' guphAmAM pesI jatAM tane AvaDyuM, nahIM to to veSa thaI paData ! praznakartA : Ape je kahyuM ke AtmavIrya pragaTa nathI thayuM. to AtmavIrya zenAthI pragaTa thAya ? 242 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : AtmavIrya pragaTa thAya tyAre e vAta ja judI che ne ! praznakartA : e zuM kahevAya ? AtmavIrya pragaTa thAya eTale emAM zuM hoya ? dAdAzrI : AtmAnI zakti bahu vadhe. praznakartA : to A je darzana che, jAgRti che, e ane AtmavIrya e benuM kanekazana zuM? dAdAzrI : jAgRti e AtmavIryamAM gaNAya. AtmavIryano abhAva eTale vyavahAranuM solyuzana nA kare, paNa vyavahAra khaseDIne UMco mUkI de. AtmavIryavALo to kaheze game te Avone, e gUMcAya nahIM. paNa have e zaktio badhI utpanna thaze ! praznakartA : e zaktio brahmacaryathI UbhI thAya ? dAdAzrI : hA, brahmacarya sArI rIte paLAya tyAre ane saheja lIkeja nA thavuM joIe. A to zuM thayuM che ke vyavahAra zIkhyA nathI ane emane ema A badhuM hAthamAM AvI gayuM che ! varte vIrya, jayAM jayAM ruci ! jyAM ruci tyAM vIrya varte AtmAnuM. eTale A lokone ruci zemAM ? AIskImamAM kharI, paNa AtmAmAM nahIM. A AtmA mATe ahIM AvavuM che ke AIskrIma mATe ? to kahe, 'AIskrIma khAvA !" keTalAM nIrvArya jIvo che ! tane samajAya A vAta ? pelo to bahu jabaro mANasa ! koI paNa lAlacanI vastuthI lalacAya nahIM. A duniyAmAM koI cIja lalacAI nA zake, ane Ane to AIskrIma lalacAvI jAya koIka vakhata !! A saMsAra game nahIM, bahu rUpALImAM rUpALI cIja heje game nahIM. peluM ja, AtmA tarapha ja gamyA kare, gamo badalAI jAya. ane dehavIrya pragaTa thAya tyAre peluM AtmAnuM game nahIM. Page #151 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 243 praznakartA : AtmavIrya pragaTa thAvuM kevI rIte bane ? dAdAzrI : nizcaya karyo hoya ne amArI AjJA pALavAnI, tyArathI urdhvagatie jAya. be AMkho e AMkho maLI, tyAM AkarSaNa thayuM, tenuM pratikramaNa kara kara karavAnuM. evuM pacIsa ke pacAsa hoya, vadhAre nA hoya. enuM pratikramaNa karIne choDI nAkhavuM badhuM. e atikramaNathI UbhuM thayuM che ane pratikramaNathI baMdha thaI jAya. - vIryane evI Teva nathI, adhogatimAM javuM. e to potAno nizcaya nahIM eTale adhogatimAM jAya che. nizcaya karyo eTale bIjI bAju vaLe, ane pachI moDhA para bIjA badhAne teja dekhAtuM thAya ane brahmacarya pALatAM moDhA para kaMI asara nA thaI, to 'brahmacarya pUruM pALyuM nathI' ema kahevAya. praznakartA: vIryanuM urdhvagamana zaru thavAnuM hoya to enAM lakSaNo zuM? dAdAzrI : tejI AvatI thAya, manobaLa vadhatuM jAya, vANI pharsTa kalAsa nIkaLe. vANI mIThAzavALI hoya. vartana mIThAzavALuM hoya. e badhuM enuM lakSaNa hoya. e to vAra lAge ghaNI, ema ne ema atyAre e nA thAya. atyAre ekadama nA thaI jAya. 244 samajathI prApta brahmacarya eTale nA samajIe ke ubharAI ! svapnadoSa eTale ubharAvuM. TAMkI ubharAI ! te ko'ka nA rAkhavo joIe ? eTale khorAka upara kaMTrola kare to svapnadoSa nA thAya. tethI A mahArAja A eka vakhata AhAra kare che ne tyAM ! bIjuM kazuM levAnuM ja nahIM, cA-bA kazuM nahIM levAnuM. praznakartA: emAM rAtrino khorAka mahatvano. rAtrinuM ochuM karavuM joIe. dAdAzrI : rAtanA khorAka ja nA joIe, A eka ja vakhata mahArAja AhAra le che. paNa cAra roTalI khAI jAya che, A enI uMmara to kharI ne ! bIjuM cA nahIM, bIjI koI bhAMjagaDa ja nahIMne ! Akho dahADo e TAMkI bharI lIdhI. te TAMkI bharI lIdhI, te peTrola cAlyA kare. eTale DiscArja to A khAvAnuM jo kaMTrolamAM hoya to bIjuM kazuM nA thAya. A to Thoka ne Thoka khAvAnuM rAkhe che. je hoya te ane ajugatuM vastu AhAra hoya, tyAre zuM thAya ? jaina to kevo DAhyo ! AvA AhAra nahIM. evuM tevuM nA hoya kazuM. chatAM DiscArja thAya eno vAMdho nahIM. e to bhagavAne kahyuM, vAMdho nahIM. e bharAya pachI buca khullo thaI jAya. Urdhvagamana thayuM nathI brahmacarya, tyAM sudhI adhogamana ja thAya. Urdhvagamana to brahmacarya levAnI zarata karI, tyArathI ja zaruAta thAya. cetIne ApaNe cAlavuM sAruM. mahinAmAM cAra vakhata thAya to ya vAMdho nahIM. ApaNe jANI-joIne DiscArja karavuM nA joIe. e guno che. ema ne ema thAya teno vAMdho nahIM. A to A badhuM ADA-avaLuM khAvAnuM pariNAma che. jANI-joIne DiscArja karavuM e bhayaMkara guno. ApaghAta kahevAya. AvI DiscArjanI koNa chUTa Ape ? pelA bhaI kahe che, DiscArja ya na thavo joIe. tyAre zuM marI jauM ? kUvAmAM paDuM, kahIe ? praznakartA : DiscArja thAya eTale e gunegAra lekhAya, eno manamAM kSobha thAya. kAraNa ke A badhA evI rIte ja kahe ne ke DiscArja na thavo joIe. upAyo AdaravA, svapnadoSa TALavA ! praznakartA strInI bAbatamAM je kaMI svapnA Ave, te ApaNane A brahmacaryanI bhAvanAnA kAraNe gamatA nA hoyane ? to eno kaMI upAya kharo? dAdAzrI : svapnA e to judI vastu che. ApaNane gamatuM hoya to nukasAna kare ne nA gamatuM hoya to kaMI nukasAna na kare. e game te Ave, gamatuM hoya to pharI ApaNe tyAM evuM UbhuM thAya ane nA gamatuM hoya to kazI bhAMjagaDa ja nathI. praznakartA: svapnadoSa kema thatAM haze ? dAdAzrI : upara TAMkI hoya pANInI, te pANI nIce paDavA mAMDe Page #152 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 245 dAdAzrI : e pelA viSaya kare, tenAM karatAM A DiscArja bahu sAruM. peluM be jaNane bagADe, kUtarA jevuM to na zobhe ! vIryazaktinuM Urdhvagamata kyAre ? praznakartA : vIryanuM galana thAya che e pudgala svabhAvamAM hoya ke koI jagyAe ApaNI lIkeja hoya che eTale thAya che ? dAdAzrI : ApaNe joIe ane ApaNI draSTi bagaDI, eTale vIryano amuka bhAga che te 'ekjhosTa' thaI gayo kahevAya. praznakartA : e to vicArothI paNa thaI jAya che. dAdAzrI : vicArothI paNa 'ekjhosTa' thAya, draSTithI paNa 'ekajhosTa thAya. te 'ekajhosTa' thayelo mAla pachI DiscArja thayA kare. praznakartA : paNa A je brahmacArIo che temane to kaMI evA saMjogo nA hoya, teo strIothI dUra rahe che, phoTA rAkhatA nathI, kelenDara rAkhatA nathI, chatAM emane DiscArja thaI jAya che. to emanuM svAbhAvika DiscArja nA kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : to paNa emane manamAM A badhuM dekhAya che. bIjuM, e khorAka bahu khAto hoya ane enuM vIrya bahu banatuM hoya, pachI e pravAha vahI jAya evuM ya bane. praznakartA : rAtre vadhAre khavAya to khalAsa.... dAdAzrI : rAtre vadhAre khavAya ja nahIM, khAvuM hoya to bapore khAvuM. rAtre jo vadhAre khavAya to to vIryanuM alana thayA vagara rahe ja nahIM. vIryanuM alana kone nA thAya ? jenuM vIrya bahu majabUta thaI gayuM hoya, bahu ghaTTa thaI gayeluM hoya, tene nA thAya. A to badhAM pAtaLAM thaI gayelAM vIrya kahevAya. praznakartA : manobaLathI paNa ene aTakAvI zakAya ne ? 246 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : manobaLa to bahu kAma kare ! manobaLa ja kAma kare ne ! paNa te jJAnapUrvakanuM hovuM joIe. ema ne ema manobaLa rahe nahIM ne ! praznakartA: svapnamAM DiscArja je thAya che, e pAchalI khoTa che ? dAdAzrI : eno koI savAla nathI. A pAchalI khoTo svapnAvasthAmAM badhI jatI rahe. svapnAvasthA mATe ApaNe gunegAra gaNatA nathI. ApaNe jAgRta avasthAne gunegAra gaNIe chIe, ughADI AMkhe jAgRta avasthA ! chatAM paNa svapnAM Ave. mATe ene bilakula kADhI nAkhavA jevuM nathI, tyAM cetatA rahevuM. svapnAvasthA pachI savAramAM pastAvo karavo paDe, enuM pratikramaNa karavuM paDe ke AvuM nA ho. ApaNI pAMca AjJA pALe to emAM koI dahADo viSaya-vikAra thAya evuM che ja nahIM. jokhamo haSTapuSTa zarIramAM A vAMca, AmAM zuM lakhyuM che ? praznakartA : maithuna saMjJA cAra prakAre jAgRta thAya. (1) veda mohanIyanA udayathI. (2) hADa, mAMsa, lohI vagerethI zarIra puSTa thavAthI. (3) strI najare jovAthI. (4) strInuM ciMtavana karavAthI ! veda mohanIya udayathI eTale ? dAdAzrI : strIne strIveda hoya, puruSane puruSaveda hoya, e veda jyAre udayamAM Ave tyAre te bUma paDAvaDAve. tamAre ahIM kyAM AgaLa khAsa cetavA jevuM che ke 'lohI-mAMsathI zarIra hRSTapuSTa thavAthI', tyAM cetavAnuM che. tame kaho cho ke amAre DiscArja thAya che, te A kAraNa naDe che. eka bAju zIkhaMDa, bhajiyAM, jalebIo badhuM Thoko cho ane pachI vIrya AMtaravA jAva cho, te kema bane ? zarIrane to poSaNa pUrato ja khorAka Apavo ane te ya pAcho bhAre mAla Page #153 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 247 malIdAvALo khorAka nahIM. A pustakamAM cokhkhuM lakhyuM che. eTalA mATe to meM A tamane pustaka vAMcavA ApyuM che. keTalAMka jainanA sAdhuo AMbela karatA hoya che. AMbelamAM koI paNa eka ja cIja khAya kAyamane mATe. pANImAM roTalI boLIne khAya tyAre e sAdhuo brahmacarya pALI zake che. ziyALAne dahADe TADhamAM zarIra kasAya che, unALAmAM tApamAM kasAya che. ApaNe to TADha-bADha sahana karavAnI nahIM ne ! rajAI lAvIne oDhI lIdhuM. te cAlyuM ! eTale ja cetatA rahevAnuM. A to tamAre brahmacarya pALavuM hoya to A badhuM cetatA rahevuM paDe. vIrya UrdhvagAmI thAya tyAra pachI enI meLe cAlyA kare. haju to vIrya UrdhvagAmI thayuM nathI. haju to eno adhogAmI svabhAva che. vIrya UrdhvagAmI thAya, tyAre badhuM ya UMce caDe. pachI to vANI-bANI phakkaDa nIkaLe, mahIM darzane ya UMcI jAtanuM khIleluM hoya. vIrya UrdhvagAmI thAya pachI vAMdho nA Ave, tyAM sudhI to khAvA-pIvAnuM bahu niyama rAkhavA paDe. vIrya UrdhvagAmI thavA mATe tamAre ene madada to karavI paDe ke ema ne ema ja cAlyA karaze ? praznakartA: madada karavI paDe. khorAkamAM zuM zuM uDADI devAnuM ? taLeluM, ghI, tela kADhI nAkhavuM paDe ne ? dAdAzrI : kazuM uDADI devAnuM nahIM, enuM pramANa ochuM karI nAkhavAnuM. praznakartA : bhAta e brahmacarya mATe chellAmAM chello khorAka thayo, kharuM ne ? - dAdAzrI : nA, evuM bhAta upara nahIM. e to ekalo roTalo hoya, game te hoya to ya cAle. bAkI amuka "phUDa' nahIM levuM joIe. cIkAzavALo ne evo tevo khorAka badho nA levAya to sAruM paDe. praznakartA : bIjo, gaLapaNavALo khorAka ? dAdAzrI : gaLapaNa paNa nahIM. khaTAza cAle te paNa pramANamAM, vadhAre khaTAza nA khavAya. 248 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : maracAM ? dAdAzrI : thoDAM thoDAM khavAya. maracAM karatAM marI uttama. brahmacarya pALavA mATe sauthI sArAmAM sArI A suMTha. ApaNAM A brahmacArIone mATe ja bhAMjagaDa che ne ? bAkI bIjA badhAne to ApaNA A vijJAnamAM to kazI bhAMjagaDa ja nathI ne ? ApaNA vijJAnamAM to dhIme rahIne nikAla karI nAkhavAno che. A to brahmacarya pALe che eTale badhuM kahevuM paDe. eTale brahmacarya Ama keTalAMka varasa jo kadI sacavAI gayuM kaMTrolapUrvaka, to pachI vIrya UrdhvagAmI thAya ne tyAre A zAstro-pustako e badhAM magajamAM dhAraNa karI zake. dhAraNa karavuM e kAMI saheluM nathI, nahIM to vAMce ne pAcho bhUlato jAya. praznakartA : hA, evuM ja thAya che atyAre. dAdAzrI : have jo vIrya UrdhvagAmI thayeluM hoya to ja e dhAraNa karI zake, nahIM to e dhAraNa nA karI zake. praznakartA : A prANAyAma kare, yoga kare, e brahmacarya mATe kaMI helpaphUla thaI zake kharuM ? dAdAzrI : te brahmacarya mATenA bhAvathI kare to helpIMga thaI zake che. brahmacarya mATeno bhAva hovo joIe ane tamAre zarIra sAruM karavA mATe karavuM hoya to enAthI zarIra sAruM thAya. eTale bhAva upara badho AdhAra che. paNa AvA tevAmAM tame paDazo nahIM, nahIM to ApaNo AtmA rahI jaze. praznakartA: strI beThI hoya e beThakamAM AvIne brahmacArIthI nA besAya ? dAdAzrI : A to jUnA jamAnAnI vAta thaI. atyAre A kALamAM e mAphaka nA Ave. e badhuM meM kADhI nAkheluM che. kAraNa ke basamAM koI strI UThI to tame nA beso to kyAM beso ? to UbhA rahevAnuM ? ane e strI UThI gaI ane tame, 'mArAthI nA besAya." evuM kaho to loka Page #154 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 250 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : eTale rogane laIne abrahmacarya che ? dAdAzrI : rogathI ja abrahmacarya che. nIrogI mANasane abrahmacaryanI bhAMjagaDa ja nA hoya ! ene e game ya nahIM. ene AnaMda to nIrogIpaNAno hoya ja, eTale ene viSaya game ja nahIM. ane A zarIranuM to atyAre evuM rogI thaI gayuM che eTale A kALamAM nIrogI, hoya nahIM ne ! nIrogI to eka tIrthaMkaro hoya ! praznakartA : to amAre nIrogI thavA mATe, brahmacarya pALavA mATe A zarIranuM paNa dhyAna rAkhavuM paDe ne ? dAdAzrI : zarIranuM dhyAna to evI vastu che ke have tamAre A nikAlI bAbata che. evuM dhyAna to kyAre ApavAnuM hoya ke kartA sAthe hoya to. ApaNe bhAva rAkhavo ke boDI nirogI hovI joIe, evo pakSapAta rahevo joIe ane pachI zarIrane jarA sAcavo. samajathI prApta brahmacarya 249 tamane 'cakkarachApa che' evuM kaheze. tame mUrakha nA dekhAva eTale meM pahelethI ja badhuM kADhI nAkheluM che. evI to badhI bahu vAto che. ahIM strIno phoTo ya nA laTakAvAya. pachI gAyane ya nA jovAya, gAya strI che. mATe. have Ano pAra kyAre Ave ? zAstrakAroe to bahu jhINuM kAMtyuM che ane ApaNe to zetaraMjIo banAvavI che mATe have jADuM jADuM kAMto ne ! to paNa ApaNane kevo AnaMda AnaMda rahe che ! tyAM to koI dahADo AnaMda ja nahIM ane AvuM jhINuM kAMtelAmAM bicArAM gUMcAyA kare che. hA, nahAvA mATenI e lokonI vAta huM eksepTa karuM chuM. nahAvAnuM nahIM, khAvAnuM, dAtaNa nahIM karavAnuM, e badhuM eksepTa karuM chuM. nahAvuM joIe nahIM. kAraNa ke nahAvAthI zarIramAM badhI ja indriyo sateja thAya che. jIbhe ula utArI ke A badhAM bhajiyAM-jalebI phAvaze ne nA utArI hoya to svAdamAM rAma tArI mAyA ! svAda ocho mAlama paDe. praznakartA : A sAdhuo bhInAM kapaDAMthI zarIra lUchI kADhe che. dAdAzrI : e to karavuM ja paDe ne ! praznakartA : enAthI indriyo sateja nA thAya ? dAdAzrI : nA. praznakartA : garama ke ThaMDuM pANI hoya, enAthI phera paDe ? dAdAzrI : emAM kazo ya lAMbo phera nahIM. garama pANI aMdara ThaMDaka kare che ne ThaMDuM pANI aMdara garamI kare che. eno svabhAva aMdara pheraphAra karavAno, bAkI badhuM ekanuM eka ja che. tirogIthI viSaya bhAge ! tame bahAra pariNAma khoLo cho, paNa haMmezAM je nirogI hoya tene jaldI pariNAma bahAra paDe. A badhuM pramANa hoya che ! nirogI zarIra hoya to brahmacarya sAruM rahe. abrahmacarya zarIranA rogane laIne thAya che. jeTalo roga ocho eTalo viSaya ocho. pAtaLA mANasane viSaya bahu hoya che ne jADA mANasane viSaya ocho hoya. praznakartA : koI mANasa taMdurasta che, to e taMdurastI zenA AdhAre bejha thayelI che ? zArIrika zaktino AdhAra vIrya zakti che ne ! dAdAzrI : A strIomAM vIrya nA hoya, to ya zArIrika zakti bahu hoya che. praznakartA to taMdurastInuM je dhoraNa che, e zenA AdhAre kahevAya che ? dAdAzrI : e rogamuktanA AdhAre che. roga nA hoya eTale zakti vadhAre. rogane laIne zakti ochI thaI jAya. vIrya zakti judI vastu che. vIrya to darekanI aMdara hoya ja, rogI hoya ke nirogI hoya, beunAmAM, badhAmAM hoya. pAtaLA mANasamAM vIrya zakti vadhAre hoya ne jADAmAM ochI hoya. pAtaLAmAM vadhAre hoya. pAtaLo kAmI vadhAre hoya, jADo kAmI ocho hoya. kAraNa ke AnuM khAdheluM badhuM mAMsa thaI jAya che ane AnuM khAdheluM badhuM vIrya thaI jAya. praznakartA : mAMsa karatAM paNa carabIno bhAga vadhAre hoya che, je Page #155 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 251 samajathI prApta brahmacarya mANasa jADo hoya che tene ! dAdAzrI : hA, enuM khAdheluM badhuM carabI-mAMsa badhuM thaI jAya. AnuM khAdheluM badhA hADakAM ja thaI jAya. jADA thayelAne keTaluM lohI joIe ? pelAne to lohI ja joIe nahIM ne pAtaLAne, badhAM kArakhAnA cAlu hoya eTale pachI vadhyuM-ghaTyuM vIrya banI jAya. thoDuM samajAya che ? jADA mANasamAM viSaya bahu ocho hoya. emAM sTrentha ya (zaktimAM) ochI hoya. praznakartA : eka vAra evuM sAMbhaLeluM ke pudgalano phorsa vadhI jAya, pudgalanI zakti vadhe to viSayomAM kheMcAI jAya, e kharuM ? dAdAzrI : zarIranuM ThekANuM nA hoya ne khorAka ThokAThoka le to e brahmacarya Take nahIM, abrAhmacarya thaI jAya. jo zarIra majabUta hoya, paNa khorAka ocho hoya e brahmacaryane sAcavI zake. bAkI jene zrI vijhanathI vairAga Avato hoya, tene to kazuM abrahmacarya thAya evuM che ja nahIM. A gaTarane eka phero UghADIne joI lIdhI hoya pachI pharI UghADe ja nahIM ne ! UghADavAnI icchA ja nA thAya ne ? enI to e bAju draSTi ja nA jAya. brahmacarya to kevuM hoya ? hajAra strIo vacce paNa mana bagaDe nahIM, ene vicAra sarakho ya Ave nahIM. mana bagaDe eTale badhuM bagaDyuM. kema ke e cArja svarUpa che. eTale tarata cArja thaI jAya ane cArja thayuM ke DiscArja thavAnuM ja ! jJAtItI jhINI jhINI vAto ! praznakartA : viSaya sivAyanA bIjA vicAro Ave ne ghaNI vAra sudhI Ama cAlyA kare, to zuM karavuM ? dAdAzrI : cho ne rahyA, eno vAMdho zo che ? ene joyA karavAnA ke zuM AvyA ne zuM nahIM. basa, joyA ja karavAnA ane noMdha paNa nahIM karavAnI. A pANI paDyA kare che evuM e vicAra cAlyA kare. ApaNe ene joyA karavAnuM. praznakartA : kharAba vicAra Ave to pratikramaNa karatA javAnuM ? dAdAzrI : kharAba vicAra hoto ja nathI. kharAba vicAra ne sArA 252 samajathI prApta brahmacarya vicAra, e to saMsAranA lokoe nAma pADyAM che. jene AtmajJAna che, ene vicAra mAtra zeya che. vicArane kharAba kahIe to manane pAchI rIsa caDhe. eTale ApaNe zuM karavA koIne khoTuM kahIe ? e eno svabhAva ja che. sAro vicAra hoya ke durvicAra, mana dekhADyA ja kare. ene ApaNe joyA karavAnuM. manamAM vicAra Ave e udayabhAva kahevAya. te vicAramAM pote tanmayAkAra thayo to Azrava thayuM kahevAya. tethI pachI karmo jhamavA mAMDe. paNa jo tene bhUMsI nAkhe to pAchuM bhUMsAI jAya. jo eno kALa pAke ne avadhi pUrI thaI jAya to baMdha paDe eTale avadhi pUrI thAya, te pahelAM bhUMsI nAkhavuM paDe. to baMdha nA paDe. eTale ApaNe kahyuM ke, atikramaNa to thaI jAya, paNa tarata pAchuM pratikramaNa karo. eTale pachI baMdha nA paDe. zarIra to herAna nA kare ne ? praznakartA : nA, Ama to evuM lAge che ke mana ja herAna kare che, zarIra herAna kare evuM lAgatuM nathI. bAkI A je bhogo bhogave che, enAthI zarIrane eka jAtanI tRpti maLe che. dAdAzrI : hA, e saMtoSa thAya che. saMtoSa eTale zuM ke koI paNa jAtanI icchA thaI. dArU pIvAnI icchA thaI to chevaTe dArU pIe tyAre ene saMtoSa thAya. pachI game tevI gAMDIghelI icchA haze to paNa ene saMtoSa thAya. praznakartA : paNa dAdA, paheluM to e mana para ja asara kare, to dehanuM jora vadhI jAya ne ? dAdAzrI : nA, A dehane ane manane eTalo badho saMbaMdha nathI. kAraNa ke nAnAM bALako paNa khorAka vadhAre khAya. te zarIranuM bahu jora hoya. emanuM mana A viSayanI bAbatamAM jAgRta thayeluM nathI hotuM, to paNa emanA zarIra para asara dekhAya. praznakartA : zI asara dekhAya ? Page #156 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 253 dAdAzrI : A 'indriya' TAITa thaI jAya, paNa ene manamAM kazuM hotuM nathI. eTale zarIranI asara eTalI badhI nukasAna kare evI vastu nathI hotI, paNa A to loko UMdhuM mAnI le che. A to UMdhI mAnyatA che badhI. bAkI nAnAM bALako e kaMI viSayane samajatA nathI, emanA manamAM viSaya jevuM hotuM paNa nathI. chatAM A zarIranuM baLa che. khorAka ne dUdha e badhuM khAya eTale indriya TAITa thaI jAya che. ethI kaMI e zarIrane nukasAna kare che evuM mAnI levuM, e to khoTuM che. badho manano ja roga hoya che. manano roga jJAnathI jato rahe evo che, to pachI ApaNane emAM vAMdho kyAM Ave ? praznakartA : hajI kaMI barobara samajAtuM nathI. to zarIrane to koI niSpatti ja nathI hotI ? dAdAzrI : hA, niSpatti ja nahIM. praznakartA : to peluM zarIra ekadama sUkavI nAkhavuM ane evuM thAya ke zarIra sAruM hoya to nukasAna thaze evuM mAnavAnI AmAM jarUra nathI ? dAdAzrI : evuM kaMI eTaluM badhuM mAnavAnI jarUra nathI ane evuM gabharAIne atyAre khorAka bahu nA lo, to te pAchuM zarIrane nukasAna karaze. eTale eno artha koIe UMdho nA levo joIe ke dAdAe khorAkanI chUTa ApI che. praznakartA : eTale normAliTI goThavIne levuM ema ? dAdAzrI : normAliTI eTale amuka ghI-tela e badhuM amuka amuka to ochuM ja karo. kAraNa ke e badhAnI zarIra para asara paDe che. A samajAyuM ne ? TAITa thavuM e zarIrano svabhAva ja che. AmAM UMdhuM mAnI bese ke doSa manano ja che, mana che to AvuM thAya che. eTale AvuM mAnI besavAnI bhUla thAya. paNa Ama khulAso thAya pachI mAnI besavAnI bhUla nA kare. A zarIrane asara thaI, evuM kaMI thavAthI 'bhUkha' lAgI evuM kema kahevAya ApaNe ? huM zuM kahevA mAMguM chuM e samajAya 254 samajathI prApta brahmacarya che ? nAnAM chokarAM, badhAne joyelAM ? eno sTaDI nahIM karelo ? A sAMbhaLyuMne ? have sTaDI karajo eTale A UMdhI mAnyatA UDI jAya. praznakartA : viSaya manathI bhogave ane zarIrathI bhogave, to e bemAM karma zemAM vadhAre baMdhAya ? gAMTha zemAM paDe ? dAdAzrI : manathI bhogave, temAM vadhAre thAya. praznakartA : jyAre sthULamAM bhogavavAnuM Ave, tyAre manathI to pahelAM bhogavAI ja gayuM hoya ne ? dAdAzrI : mana bhogave ke nA paNa bhogave. praznakartA : khAlI manathI bhogavato hoya tyAre gAMTha paDe, ne mana ane kAyA banne sAthe hoya to enuM karma kevuM paDe ? dAdAzrI : mana jyAM AvyuM tyAM badhuM bagaDe ane keTalAMka to, manadeha ane cittathI bhogave che e bahu kharAba. praznakartA : cittathI bhogavavuM eTale zuM ? dAdAzrI : philmathI bhogavavuM, taraMgo bhogavavAnuM, taraMgI bhogavaTA kahevAya ene ! praznakartA : manano je viSaya Ubho thAya che ane zarIrano je viSaya Ubho thAya che, e bemAM jokhamadAra kayuM ? dAdAzrI : zarIrano viSaya Ubho thayo, tene gaNakArI nA zakAya to cAle. paNa manano viSaya nA thavo joIe. A loko badhA zarIranA viSayathI chetarAya che. emAM chetarAvAnuM koI kAraNa nathI. manamAM nA rahevuM joIe. viSayanI bAbatamAM mana cokhkhuM thaI javuM joIe, mana nivRtta thaI javuM joIe. praznakartA : eTale mULa bIja to manathI ja paDe che ema ? dAdAzrI : manamAM haze to ja e viSaya che, nahIM to e viSaya Page #157 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 256 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : hamaNAM chellA thoDA vakhatamAM bahu badhI vakhata patana thayuM hatuM, DiscArja thayuM hatuM. dAdAzrI : jeTaluM tamAruM kazAmAM citta coMTayuM eTaluM mahIM enI meLe ja DiscArja thaI gayeluM hoya, te pachI nIkaLI jAya che. maDadAla thaI jAya, e nIkaLI jAya. je maDadAla nathI thayuM e nIkaLe nahIM. praznakartA : nA, eno matalaba e thAya che ke hajI kazeka citta coMTe che. dAdAzrI : haM, coMTyuM nathI. ahIM coMTatuM haze thoDuM ghaNuM, enuM phaLa che. A badhuM coMTyA pachI ukhADI lyo, tame Ama pratikramaNa karIne, thoDuM coMTI jAyane ? eTale coMTayuM to kAyado evo che ke tarata che te peluM mahIM chUTuM paDI jAya ane pachI maDadAla thayuM. e to mahIM rahe, tenA karatAM nIkaLI jAya teno vAMdho nahIM rAkhavAno. samajathI prApta brahmacarya 255 nathI. indriya TAITa thAya to ya mana nA jAge evuM che. paNa ApaNA loko to zuM kahe che ke indriya TAITa thAya pachI manamAM Ave che. eTale A lokoe TAITanesa nA Ave eTalA mATe zuM karyuM ke khorAka ocho karo, khorAka baMdha karo, dUdha baMdha karo ke jethI indriyo narama paDe ne TAITanesa thAya nahIM, eTale manamAM thAya nahIM. eTale A lokonI vAta khoTI che, evuM tamane samajAya che ? A badhI vAta bahu jhINI vAta kahuM chuM, samajatAM jarA vAra lAge evI che. ulTI thAya tethI marI javAya ? brahmacarya vrata lIdhuM hoya. kazuMka avaLuM-havaLuM thAya tyAre gUMcAya. eka chokaro muMjhAto'to, meM kahyuM, 'kema bhaI, muMjhAu chuM ?" tamane kahetAM mane zarama Ave che. meM kahyuM, "zuM zarama Ave che ? lakhIne Apa baLyuM." moDhe kahetAM zarama Ave to lakhIne Apa. 'mahinAmAM be-traNa vakhata mane DiscArja thaI jAya che." kahe che. "mera gAMDiyA, emAM to zuM ATalo badho gabharAu chuM ! tArI dAnata nathI ne ? tArI dAnata khoTI che ?" tyAre kahe, 'bilakula nahIM, bilakula nahIM.' tyAre meM kahyuM, 'tArI dAnata cokhkhI hoya to brahmacarya ja che' kahyuM. tyAre kahe, 'paNa AvuM thAya ?" kahyuM, bhaI, e galana hoya ? e to pUraNa thayeluM galana thaI jAya. emAM tArI dAnata nA bagaDavI joIe. evuM rAkhaje, e sAcavavI. dAnata nA bagaDavI joIe ke AmAM sukha che. mahIM muMjhAyane bicAro ! to cokhkhuM tarata karI ApuM. praznakartA : e dAnata ja mULa che vAta ! 'dAnata kevI che" enA upara ja che badhuM AkhuM. dAdAzrI : tamArI dAnata pachI kaI bAju che ? tamArI dAnata kharAba hoya ane vakhate DiscArja nA thAya tethI karIne tuM brahmacArI nahIM thaI jauM. bhagavAna bahu pAkAM hatA, koNa AvI samajaNa pADe ? ane kudarata to enAM niyamamAM ja hoya ne. ulaTI thaI gaI eTale marI jaIza evuM thaI gayuM ? zarIra hoya to ulaTI nA thAya, to zuM thAya ? roja sulaTI thAya, pachI ulaTI nA thAya pAchI ? praznakartA: to evuM samajavAnuM ke citta jo coMTavAnuM ochuM thaI jAya to tamAro je gepa che DiscArja thavAno e vadhato jAya. dAdAzrI : nA, evuM nahIM. DiscArjano gepa vadhyo hoya to pAcho gepa ocho ya thaI jAya, thoDA dahADA pachI. mANasa saMDAsa jaI Ave ne DiscArja thAya, emAM phera nathI. praznakartA : taMdurasta mANasane DiscArja thAya, enI meLe oTomeTika amuka TAIma thAya. dAdAzrI : thAya. pudgala saMDAsa gayuM, ene evuM kahe eTale rAge paDI jAya. A zarIramAMthI nIkaLe, e badhuM saMDAsa ja kahevAya. nAke nIkaLe, game tyAMthI nIkaLe saMDAsa ja kahevAya. praznakartA : to A khoTa to gaI kahevAya ne ? dAdAzrI : khoTa to DiscArja thatAM pahelethI ja gaI che. aMdara chUTuM paDe tyArathI ja gayelI che. have khoTa ne naphAne zuM karavuM che ? ApaNe Page #158 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 257 to AtmA majabUta rahe che ke nahIM ? eTaluM ja jovuM. A zarIramAMthI je nIkaLe, e badho saMDAsano mAla. saMDAsano mAla thAya tyAre bahAra nIkaLe. tyAM sudhI bahAra nIkaLe nahIM. A zarIrano mAla hoya ne tyAM sudhI bahAra nIkaLe nahIM. vicAra : maMthana : Alata ! saMDAsano mAla nIkaLI jAya vakhate, rahe nahIM. hamaNe koI viSayano vicAra Avyo, tarata tanmayAkAra thayo eTale mahIM mAla kharIne nIce gayo. eTale pachI bhego thaIne nIkaLI jAya haDahaDATa. paNa vicAra Ave ne tarata ukhADI nAkhe to mahIM khare nahIM pachI, urdhvagAmI thAya. nahIM to vicAra AvatAMnI sAthe kharI paDe nIce. eTaluM badhuM mahIM vijJAna che AkhuM !! praznakartA : vicAra AvatAMnI sAthe ja. dAdAzrI : ona dhI momenTa. bahAra nA nIkaLe paNa mahIM aMdara paDI gayuM juduM e. bahAra nIkaLavA lAyaka thaI gayuM e zarIrano mAla rahyo nahIM. praznakartA : eTale pratikramaNa thAya to pAchuM urdhvagamana thAya ? dAdAzrI : vicAra Ave ne, vicAramAM tanmayAkAra nA thAya, vicArane joyA kare to urdhvagamana thAya. vicAra Ave ne tanmayAkAra thAya, eTale pachI chUTuM paDI gayuM tarata. praznakartA chUTuM paDI gayuM pachI pratikramaNa kare to pAchuM UMce Avaze ke urdhvagamana nA thAya ? dAdAzrI : pratikramaNa kare to zuM thAya ? ke tame enAthI judA cho evo abhiprAya dekhADe che ke amAre emAM levAdevA nathI. praznakartA : vIryanuM urdhvagamana ane DiscArja sAthe koI rilezana kharuM ? dAdAzrI : DiscArja thayuM eTale urdhvagamananuM adhogamana thaI gayuM. 258 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : eno matalaba vIryanuM urdhvagamana thAya eTale DiscArja baMdha thaI jAyane dhIre dhIre ! dAdAzrI : nA. evo kaMI niyama nathI. DiscArja paNa thAya, DiscArjanuM to enI jokhamadArI nathI gaNAtI. jANI bujhIne DiscArja thAya tyAre jokhamadArI. atyAramAM che te amathuM aMdara khorAkanuM dabANa Ave ke bIjuM dabANa Ave to ya thaI jAya. jANI-joIne nA hovuM joIe. banatAM sudhI DiscArja nA thAya evuM cetIne rahevuM. viSayano vicAra ja nA Ave ane Ave to pheMkI devAnuM, aMkura phUTatAM ja pheMkI devAnuM tyAre vIrya che je pudgalano eksaTrekTa che, te upara caDhe che. te UrdhvaretA thAya. pachI vANI-bANI badhuM klIyara rahe. Ama jAgRti bahu sArI rahe, tArAthI rahevArone huM kahuM chuM tema ? - bharelo mAla e to nIkaLyA vagara rahevAnuM nahIM. vicAra Avyo tene poSaNa ApyuM, to vIrya maDadAla thaI gayuM. eTale koI paNa raste DiscArja thaI jAya che ane jo TakyuM mahIM, viSayano vicAra ja nA Avyo to UrdhvagAmI thAya. vANI-bANI badhAmAM majabUta thaIne Ave. nahIM to viSayane ame saMDAsa kaheluM ja che. badhuM UbhuM thAya che te saMDAsa thavA mATe ja thAya che. brahmacarya pALe tene badhuM Ave. potAne vANImAM, buddhimAM, samajaNamAM badhAmAM Ave, pragaTa thAya. nahIM to vANI bole to khIle nahIM, ugeya nahIM ne. e urdhvagamana thAya to pachI A badhI vANI pharsTakalAsa thaI jAya ne badhI zaktio UbhI thAya pachI. AvaraNo tUTI jAya badhA. praznakartA : eTale ukheDIne pheMkI devo eTale jovAno khAlI vicArane ? dAdAzrI : jovAno ja. jovAno to UMcI vAta, A to vicAra uge ne tanmayAkAra thaI jAya to ene pheMkI devAnA. paNa jovAnuM bane to pachI pheMkavAnuM nA hoya ne ! praznakartA : A vadhAre saraLa paDe. dAdAzrI : viSayano vicAra to kyAre Ave ? Ama joyuM ane Page #159 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 260 samajathI prApta brahmacarya nA kare to. eTale ApaNe kahIe chIe ke vicAra Ave ke tarata ukheDIne pheMkI devo. eka kSaNavAra vicAra rakhAya nahIM, pratikramaNa karIne tarata pheMkI samajathI prApta brahmacarya 259 AkarSaNa thayuM eTale vicAra Ave. koI vakhata evuM paNa bane ke AkarSaNa thayA vagara vicAra Ave. viSayano vicAra Avyo eTale manamAM ekadama maMthana thAya ane saheja paNa maMthana thAya eTale pachI e alana thaI ja jAya, tarata ja, ona dhI momenTa, mATe ApaNe choDavo UgatAM pahelAM ja ukhADI nAkhavo joIe. bIjuM badhuM cAle, paNa A choDavo bahu vasamo hoya. je sparza nukasAnakartA hoya, je mANasano saMga nukasAnakartA hoya tyAMthI dUra rahevuM joIe. tethI to zAstrakAroe eTaluM badhuM goThaveluM ke Ama strI jyAM beThI hoya tyAM e jagyA upara beso nahIM, jo brahmacarya pALavuM hoya to, ane jo saMsArI rahevuM hoya to tyAM tame tamAre besajo, rahejo. brahmacarya pALavuM hoya to 'jJAnI puruSa' pAse samajI levuM joIe. paheluM e jJAna jANI levuM paDe ane e jJAna samajamAM AvavuM joIe. brahmacarya to, mana bilakula Dage nahIM, tyAre e brahmacarya magajamAM ghUse ane pachI enI vANI-vartana badhuM pheraphAra thaI jAya !!! nahIM to tyAM sudhI pudgalasAra dhovAyA ja kare badho. A je khorAka khAdho ne, te sAra badho pachI UDI jAya. praznakartA: mana keLavavA mATe amuka vakhata to javAno ja ne ? dAdAzrI : manane keLavavA mATe to A keTalo vakhata gayo? anAdi kALathI kare che A badhuM. praznakartA : hA, paNa tame kaho cho te prakAranuM mana keLavatAM amuka vakhata to javAno ne ? ekadama keLavAI jAya mana ? dAdAzrI : thoDo vakhata le, cha-bAra mahinA le. praznakartA : eTale pahelAM AkarSaNa thAya ane pachI vicAra Ave evo kazo niyama nathI. emano ema paNa vicAra Ave ? dAdAzrI : ema ne ema paNa vicAra Ave. praznakartA : pachI vicAra Ave, pachI maMthana cAlu thAya ? dAdAzrI : vicAra Ave ke maMthana zarU thaI jAya, paNa jo pratikramaNa praznakartA : ane jene bahu ja spIDilI vicAro Ave to ? dAdAzrI : bahu ja spIDilImAM to pelAne samajaNa ja nA paDe. kAraNa ke mahIM maMthana thaI gayuM hoya, pachI maMthanathI sAra badho marI jAya, pachI e aMdara mareluM paDI raheze. pachI badhuM bheguM thAya tyAra pachI bahAra nIkaLe. tyAre ene to ema ja thAya ke Aje mane DiscArja thaI gayuM. DiscArja to mahIM thatuM hatuM ja, mahIM thaI ja rahyuM hatuM. e TIpe TIpe DiscArja thayA kare. praznakartA : bahu pahelAM vAta nIkaLelI tyAre Apa bolelA ke mahIM tanmayAkAra thAya, te vakhate ja paramANunuM alana thAya che. dAdAzrI : basa, tanmayAkAra eTale ja maMthana, eTaluM jo samaje to to brahmacaryanuM bahu moTAmAM moTuM sAyansa samajI jAya. vicAra Avyo ne tanmayAkAra thayo ke mahIM alana thaI jAya che, paNa A lokone samajaNa nA paDe, gatAgama nahIM. bhAna ja te ghaDIe nA rahe ne ! chatAM A pratikramaNa kare che te cAle. praznakartA : eTale vicAra Ave tyAMthI ja cetI javAnuM? dAdAzrI : vicAra Avyo ne jo pratikramaNa nA karyuM to khalAsa. praznakartA : to kharekhara to vicAra ja nA Avavo joIe ne ? dAdAzrI : vicAra to AvyA vagara rahe nahIM. mahIM bharelo mAla che eTale vicAra to Ave, paNa pratikramaNa eno upAya che. vicAra nA Avavo joIe evuM bane to guno che. praznakartA : tyAM sudhInI sTeja AvavI joIe ema ? dAdAzrI : hA, paNa e vicAra nA Avavo, e to ghaNe kALe Devalapa thato thato AgaLa Ave che. pratikramaNa karato karato AgaLa jAya, eTale Page #160 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 261 pachI ene pUrNAhuti thAya ne ! pratikramaNa karavA mAMDyA eTale pachI pAMca avatAre - dasa avatAre ya pUrNAhuti thaI jAya ne ! eka avatAramAM to khalAsa nA paNa thAya. praznakartA : je vicAra Ave che e bharelo mAla che? dAdAzrI : e badho bharelo mAla ja ne ! vicAra enI meLe Ave che. praznakartA : amuka vakhate evuM paNa bane che ke vicAra paNa cAlu rahe ne pratikramaNa paNa cAlatuM hoya, banne ya kriyA sAthe cAlatI hoya. dAdAzrI : eno vAMdho nahIM. bhalene vicAro cAlu hoya, joDe pratikramaNa cAlu rahe to pachI teno vAMdho nahIM. praznakartA : A to gajabanuM sAyansa bahAra paDyuM che dAdA ! dAdAzrI : paNa lokone samajAya nahIM ne ! A to badhA vAMce eTaluM ja, chatAM ATaluM vAMce to paNa sAruM che, javAbadArI samaje to paNa bahu thaI gayuM ! jokhamadArI samajAya to paNa bahu thaI gayuM. A to jANe ke vicAra Avyo, to emAM zuM bagaDI gayuM ? paNa e to bebhAnapaNuM kahevAya. chatAM bahu vicArazIla hoya, briliyanTa hoya, ene to sAruM. samajAya ane e vAtane pakaDI paNa zake, ene helpa paNa kare. A to loko jANatA nathI ke A vicAra Avyo, to zuM thaze ? A to kaheze ke vicAra Avyo mATe zuM bagaDI gayuM ? lokone khyAla nA hoya te vicArane ane DiscArjane e bannene liMka kevI rIte che. vicAra jo ema ne ema nA Ave, to bahAra jovAthI paNa vicAra Ubho thAya. praznakartA : ghaNI vAra ekalA hoIe to paNa vicAra enI meLe aMdarathI chUTavA mAMDe. dAdAzrI : ekalA jevuM kazuM hotuM nathI, paNa TAImiMga thAya tyAre TAIma batADI ja de. A badhI jhINI vAta kahevAya, amuka amuka vicArazIlane ja samaja 262 samajathI prApta brahmacarya paDe ane nahIM samajAya to mAra khAze. kudaratane ghera kaMI ocho vAMdho che ?! praznakartA : dhAro ke e vicAradhArA ene pAMca-dasa miniTa cAlI to ? ane pachI tarata ja enuM pratikramaNa kare to ? dAdAzrI : eno vAMdho nahIM. paNa vicAradhArAnAM thoDAka ja TAIma sudhImAM karavuM joIe. ekadama TAIma paNa nA javA devo joIe, nahIM to pachI maMthana thaI jAya. praznakartA : eTale eka vicAra Avyo ke tarata ja ? dAdAzrI : tarata ja, eTale ke e AgaLa ne pratikramaNa enI pAchaLa, enA jevuM. jema AgaLa eka mANasanI pAchaLa bIjo mANasa jato hoya evuM. te AgaLa A vicAra hoya ne pAchaLa A pratikramaNa hovuM joIe. praznakartA : eTale eka sekanDanI paNa vAra nA lAgavI joIe? dAdAzrI : sekanDanI vAra lAgI hoya to cAlI jAya. kAraNa ke A pratikramaNamAM bahu jora hoya che. eTale e vicAra zarU thatAM ja ene haDahaDATa uDADI devAya. pratikramaNanuM to bahu joza hoya che. atikramaNanAM joza karatAM ya pratikramaNanuM bahu joza hoya che. jhera pIdhuM hoya, te ghUMTaDo gaLAmAMthI nIce Utare e pahelAM UlaTI karI nAMkhe to kazuM nahIM, paNa ghUMTaDo nIce Utaryo pachI asara thayA vagara rahe nahIM. are, pachI to UlaTIo karAve to paNa thoDuM rahI jAya. evuM A viSaya saMbaMdhI che ! jene brahmacarya pALavuM hoya ene viSaya saMbaMdhI vicAra Ave to e joyuM ke tarata ja pratikramaNa karavuM joIe. emAM saheja jo aTakyo ane mahIM maMthana thayuM ke maMthana thayA pachI alana thayA kare. koIpaNa raste, 'enI-ve' alana thAya ja. ApaNo mArga ja badho bahu UMco che ne ? pratikramaNano mArga ja Akho UMco che. aradho kalAka UMdhuM cAlatuM hoya ne jo jAgRta thayo to. Page #161 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 263 be miniTamAM ja haDahaDATa badhuM phrekacara karI nAkhe. A 'akrama vijJAna' ja UMcI jAtanuM che. ame to A badhuM amAruM nirIkSaNa karIne anubhavanuM badhuM A vijJAna mUkyuM che. keTalAMya avatAra pahelAMnA nirIkSaNa haze, te Aje tamane mahIM lakhAI gayuM. amane to 'eTa e TAIma' keTalAMya pAra vagaranAM darzana badhAM pharI vaLe, vANImAM to keTalAMka ja nIkaLe tevA hoya ane tamane jyAre samajAvIe tyAre to amuka ja nIkaLe. te ya saMjJAmAM mahIM je samajAyuM hoya tevuM to nA ja hoya ne ?! chatAM paNa jJAnI puruSanI vANI che eTale sAMbhaLanArane kriyAkArI thayA vagara rahe nahIM. ////////// [14] brahmacarya pamADe brahmAMDano AnaMda ! etAthI zuM nA maLe ? A kaLiyugamAM A duSamakALamAM brahmacarya pALavuM bahu muzkela che. ApaNuM jJAna che te evuM ThaMDakavALuM che. aMdara kAyama ThaMDaka rahe, eTale brahmacarya pALI zake. bAkI abrahmacarya zAthI che ? baLatarAne lIdhe che. Akho dahADo kAmakAja karIne baLatarA, niraMtara baLatarA UbhI thaI che. A jJAna che eTale mokSane mATe vAMdho nathI, paNa joDe joDe brahmacarya hoya to eno AnaMde ya Avo ja hoya ne ?! he ya... apAra AnaMda, e to duniyAe cAkhyo ja nA hoya evo AnaMda utpanna thaI jAya ! eTale AvA vratamAM ja jo pAMtrIsa varSano e pirIyaDa kADhI nAkhe tyAra pachI to apAra AnaMda utpanna thAya ! eTale Avo udaya Avyo che, e to dhanya bhAgya ja kahevAya ne ? have pAMsarI rIte pAra paDavuM joIe. brahmacarya AjJApUrvakanuM hoya te sAcuM ane tyAre ja kAma thAya. bhUla thAya to dAdA pAse mAphI mAMgavAnI. hoya. jema devuM vadhAre hoya ema vicAro kharAba hoya, bahu kharAba vicAro Page #162 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 265 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : kharAba vicAra to mAre paNa Ave che. dAdAzrI : hA, te enuM devuM che. praznakartA : e devuM kevI rIte bhAMgavAnuM ? dAdAzrI : e to brahmacarya vrata pALazo eTale saraplasa AvI jAya. brahmacarya badhI ja khoTa bhAMge, tamAma prakAranI khoTa bhAMge. praznakartA : Ama puSkaLa vicAro kharAba Ave to ? evI icchA hotI nathI, paNa saMjoga bhegA thAya ke vicAro Ave ne ko'ka vakhata slipa thaI javAya. dAdAzrI : icchA to tamAre hoya nahIM, paNa cIkaNI mATImAM jazo to pachI zuM thAya ? enI meLe slipa thaI jAya. eTale A badhuM pAchaluM devuM che ke, te pAchAM locA vALe che. e locA pUrA karavA paDaze ne ! icchA to atyAre nA ja hoya, paNa zuM thAya ? praznakartA : e kAcuM paDyuM kahevAtuM haze ? dAdAzrI : evuM che, ke brahmacarya jeNe bagADyuM hoya, enuM badhuM bagaDyuM. praznakartA : badhAnI joDe rahevAnuM thAya to jaladI jaladI khoTa pUrAI jaze ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, jaladI badhI khoTa pUrI thaI jaze. khoTa pUrI thaI gayA pachI tejI Ave, napho maLe. pachI to vacanabaLa hale utpanna thAya, jevuM bole evuM thAya. atyAre to mahenata kare che chatAM mahenata nakAmI jAya, ahIM AvavuM hoya to ya moDo paDe. ane mahIM pAchAM TImIDanesa (gabharAmaNa)nA vicAro Ave, te badhuM kAma gUMcAI jAya. eTale A manavacana-kAyAthI sArI rIte brahmacarya pALene, to dahADe dahADe khoTa badhI pUrI thaI ja jAya. brahmacarya sacavAya to moDhA para kaMIka nUra Ave. nUra to hovuM ja 266 samajathI prApta brahmacarya joIe ne ? nahIM to zI nAtanA che, te ja khabara nA paDene ? brahmacaryathI nUra Ave. kALo-goro jovAnuM nathI. game tevo kALo hoya, paNa tenAmAM nUra hovuM joIe. nUra vagaranAM mANaso zA kAmano ? brahmacaryanuM teja to sAmI bhIMta upara paDe ! phorenavALA jue to Ama joIne khuza thaI jAya ke inDiyana brahmacArI AvyA, evuM hovuM joIe. koI dhoLo hoya, koI kALo hoya, e nahIM jovAnuM. brahmacarya jovAnuM. mATe evuM kaMIka karo ke brahmacarya vrata dIpe ! praznakartA : eTale zuM karavAnuM ? dAdAzrI : karavAnuM to ApaNAmAM kazuM hotuM ja nathI ne ! karomi, karosi ne karoti to ApaNAmAM kazuM hotuM nathI, paNa vAtane samajo have. praznakartA : atyAre karIe chIe, emAM mULa kaI vastu ghaTe che ? dAdAzrI : A tamArI pahelAMnI khoTo khAdhelI. te e khoTa pUrI thAya eTalA mATe tame jAgRti rAkho ke khoTa pUrI thaI jAya ane pachI saraplasa vadhe to napho dekhAya ! huM soLa varSano hato, te phaLiyAmAM Ama jato hatuM, te AvatAM-jatAM ya lokone saMbhaLAya ke A bhoMya khakhaDe che ! soLa varSano hato to ya jamIna eTalI badhI khakhaDe ! tamane ame evuM kahIe chIe ke samaja rAkho ke pAchalI khoTa zI rIte jAya ? bhUla to bhAMgavI ja paDaze ne ? ke AvuM ne AvuM cAlavA devAnuM ? jene zuddhAtmAno vaibhava jovo hoya, tene brahmacaryavrata atyaMta hitakArI che. ame paNa rileTivamAM A eka ja vrata mATe helpa karIe, bAkI ame bIjAmAM hAtha ghAlIe nahIM. A jJAnamAM jo kharuM madada karanAruM hoya to te brahmacarya ja che. brahmacarya pALIza to devaloka nA bhogave evuM sukha bhogavIza ane nA paLAya ne mahIM vacce lapasyo to mAryo jAya ! brahmacarya vrata e mahAna vrata che ane enAthI AtmAno spezyala anubhava thaI jAya. jANo gaMbhIratA, brahmacarya vratatI ! brahmacarya vrata badhAne kaMI levAnI jarUra hotI nathI. e to jene Page #163 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 267 udayamAM Ave. mahIM brahmacaryanA khUba vicAra AvyA karatA hoya, te pachI vrata le. jene brahmacarya varte, tenA to darzananI vAta ja judI ne ? ko'kane udaya Ave, tenA mATe ja brahmacarya vrata che. udayamAM Ave nahIM to ulaTo vAMdho paDI jAya, loco paDI jAya. brahmacarya vrata varasa dahADAnuM laI zakAya ke cha mahinAnuM paNa laI zakAya. ApaNane brahmacaryanA khUba ja vicAra AvyA karatA hoya, e vicArane ApaNe dabAya bAya karIe to ya vicAra AvyA karatA hoya to ja brahmacarya vrata mAMgavuM, nahIM to A brahmacarya vrata mAMgavA jevuM nathI. ahIM brahmacarya vrata lIdhA pachI vrata toDavuM e mahAna guno che. tamane kaMI koIe bAMdhyA nathI ke tame vrata lo ja ! mahIM jo vrata levA mATe icchAo bahu kUdAkUda karatI hoya to ja vrata levuM. ko'ka dahADo vrata bhaMga thAya to jJAnI tenI davA hau batAve. viSayano kyAreya vicAra nA Ave te brahmacarya mahAvrata. jo viSaya yAda Ave to vrata tUTyuM. ame brahmacarya mATe tamane AjJA ApIe, temAM tamArI bhUlacUka thAya to tenI jokhamadArI bahu bhayaMkara che. tame jo bhUlacUka nA khAva to pachI badhuM amArI jokhamadArI para ! tame je je mArI AjJApUrvaka karo to temAM tamArI jokhamadArI nahIM ane mArI paNa jokhamadArI nahIM ! tame AjJApUrvaka karo eTale tamAre ahaMkAra Ubho nA thAya. eTale tamArI jokhamadArI nahIM ane to pachI AjJA karanAranI jokhamadArI kharI ne ?! paNa AjJA karanAra syAdvAda hoya to, emane zI rIte jokhamadArI Ave ? eTale pote jokhama le nahIM, evI AjJA kare ! vrata e kaMI bajAruM cIja che ? vrata vagara mANasane brahmacarya rahI zake, paNa te sahaja bhAve hoya to, nahIM to mana kAcuM paDI jAya. A jJAna maLyA pachI sattA potAnA hAthamAM AvI gaI, parasattAmAM hovA chatAM svasattAmAM che. jenuM mana baMdhAyeluM nathI, tenuM mana parasattAmAM kAma karyA kare. baMdhAyelA mana mATe to dAdAnuM vacanabaLa kAma kare, pelA eviDansa toDI nAkhe. jJAnI puruSanuM vacanabaLa saMsArane bhajavAnuM toDI nAMkhe. ahIM to mAMgo e zakti maLe ema che ! ahIM yAda nA Ave to ghare jaIne mAMgo, dAdAne yAda karIne mAMgo to paNa maLe ema che. dAdAne kahIe ke mArAmAM zakti hota to tamArI pAse mAMgata ja zuM 268 samajathI prApta brahmacarya karavA ? tame zakti Apo. dAdA bhagavAna to mAMge e zakti Ape ema che ! A to badhuM TUMkamAM kahevAnuM hoya. Ane mATe koI vivecana karavAnuM nA hoya. mArga opana thayo che, to kema nA mAgavuM ? AjIvana brahmacarya, maMDAve kSapaka zreNIo ! praznakartA : dAdAjI, Apa mane vidhi karI Apo. mAre AkhI jiMdagInuM brahmacarya vrata levuM che. dAdAzrI : tane apAya tevuM che ane tuM pALI zake evuM sTroMgANuM tArAmAM che, chatAM ame vidhi karI ApIe tyAM sudhI A bhAvanA karaje. dAdA to gaNatarIvALA che, anaMta gaNatarIvALA che, eTale hamaNAM tuM bhAvanA karaje pachI ApIzuM. A kALamAM to brahmacarya AkhI jiMdagInuM apAya evuM nathI. ApavuM e ja jokhama che. varSa dahADAnuM apAya. bAkI AkhI jiMdagInI AjJA lIdhI ane jo e paDe ne, to pote to paDe paNa ApaNane paNa nimitta banAve. pachI ApaNe mahAvideha kSetramAM vItarAga bhagavAna pAse beThA hoya to tyAM ya Ave ne ApaNane uThADe ne kaheze, zuM kAma AjJA ApI hatI ? tamane koNe DAhyA thavAnuM kahyuM hatuM?" te vItarAganI pAse ya ApaNane jaMpavA nA de ! eTale pote to paDe paNa bIjAne ya kheMcI jAya. mATe bhAvanA karaje ane ame tane bhAvanA karavAnI zakti ApIe chIe. paddhatisaranI bhAvanA karaje, utAvaLa nA karIza. utAvaLa eTalI kacAza. ame to koIne ya ema nA kahIe ke brahmacarya pALaje, A AjJA pALaje. ema kahevAya ja kema ? A "brahmacarya e zuM vastu che ?" e to ame ja jANIe chIe ! tArI taiyArI jo hoya to vacanabaLa amAruM che, nahIM to pachI jyAM che tyAM ja paDI rahe ne ! jo A brahmacarya vrata laIza ne saMpUrNa karekTa pALIza, to varlDamAM ajAyaba sthAna prApta karIza ane ahIMthI sIdho ekAvatArI thaIne mokSe jaIza. amArI AjJAmAM baLa che, jabarajasta vacanabaLa che. jo tArI kacAza nA hoya to vrata tUTe nahIM, eTaluM badhuM vacanabaLa che. AnuM phaLa pachI zuM Ave ? sarvasaMga parityAga udayamAna thAya. ene tyAga kahevAto nathI, e udayamAM Ave che. udaya eTale varte ! evo Page #164 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 270 samajathI prApta brahmacarya 269 sarvasaMga parityAga udayamAM Ave to pachI ene vItarAgonI pATa mATe dIkSA apAya. evI dIkSA maLe to bahu zakti utpanna thAya. dIkSAno svabhAva ja evo che. evuM 'vyavasthita' paNa lAvyo hoya. badhAnI bhAvanA phaLe. amArA taraphathI AzIrvAda maLe eTale A badhAnI zakti bahu utpanna thAya. evI jo dIkSA maLe to vItarAga dharmano uddhAra thAya, vItarAga mArga utthAnane pAme ane e thavAnuM che! tyAM sudhI badhuM mahIM tAvI jovAnuM ke bhAvanA jagata kalyANanI che ke mAnanI ? potAnA AtmAne tAvI jue to badhI khabara paDe evuM che. vakhate mahIM mAna raheluM hoya to ya e nIkaLI jaze. kAraNa ke koI pradhAnane bahAra badhuM sAruM hoya ne gharano duHkhI hoya to ene sattA Ape to e lAkha-be lAkha khAI jAya, paNa pachI dharAI jAyane ? ane ApaNuM to A vijJAna che, eTale have je mAna rahyuM te nikAlI mAla ne ! te dhIme dhIme khalAsa thaI jaze, chatAM tyAM sudhI badhI jAgRti rAkhavI paDe. koI gALo bhAMDe, apamAna kare to ya mAna nA jAgavuM joIe. mAre to ya mAna zAne mATe jAge ? ApaNe to jANavuM joIe ke sAta mArI ke traNa ? jorathI mArI ke halakI ? evuM jANavAnuM. potAnA svabhAvamAM to AvavuM paDaze ne ?! tamAre to nakkI karavAnuM savAranA, ke Aje pAMca apamAna maLe to sAruM ne pachI AkhA dahADAmAM ekuMya nA maLyuM to aphasosa rAkhavAno. to mAnanI gAMTha ogaLe. apamAna thAya, te ghaDIe jAgRta thaI javuM. eka ja mANasa sAco hoya to jagata kalyANa karI zake ! saMpUrNa AtmabhAvanA hovI joIe. eka kalAka bhAvanA bhAva bhAva karaje ane vakhate tUTI jAya to sAMdhIne pAchuM cAlu karaje. A bhAvanA bhAvI che to bhAvanAnuM jatana karaje ! lokonuM kalyANa thAya e mATe tyAgI veSa, dIkSA levAnI icchA che. mana bagaDatuM nA hoya pachI dIkSA levAmAM vAMdho nahIM. jagatanuM kalyANa vadhu kyAre thAya ? tyAgamudrA hoya tyAre vadhAre thAya. gRhastha mudrAmAM jagatanuM kalyANa vadhu thAya nahIM, upalaka badhuM thAya. paNa aMdarakhAne badhI pablika nA pAme ! upalakatAmAM badho moTo moTo varga pAmI jAya, paNa pablika nA pAme. tyAga ApaNA jevo hovo joIe. samajathI prApta brahmacarya ApaNo tyAga e ahaMkArapUrvakano nahIM ne ?! ane A cAritra to bahu UMcuM kahevAya ! 'huM zuddhAtmA chuM' e niraMtara lakSamAM rahe, e mahAnamAM mahAna brahmacarya. enA jevuM bIjuM brahmacarya nathI. chatAM ya AcAryapada prApta karavAnA bhAva mahIM hoya tyAre tyAM bahAranuM brahmacarya joIe, tyAM leDI nA cAle. jJAnI puruSanI AjJAthI cAritra levAno vAMdho nathI, paNa joDe joDe cAritra lIdhA pachI te vastune eTalI badhI vicAravI joIe ke te vicAranA aMtamAM potAnuM ja mana evuM thaI jAya ke viSaya e to bahu ja khoTI vastu che. A to mahA-mahA mohane laIne utpanna thayelI vastu che. A ekaluM abrahmacarya choDe to badhuM AkhuM jagata AthamI jAya che, haDahaDATa ! eka brahmacarya pALavAthI to badhuM AkhuM jagata ja khalAsa thaI jAya che ne ! ane nahIM to hajAro cIjo choDo, paNa e kazuM bhalIvAra Ave nahIM. cAritranuM sukha kevuM varte ! jJAnI puruSanI pAse cAritra grahaNa kare, khAlI grahaNa ja karyuM che, hajI to paLAyuM ja nathI. tyArathI to bahu AnaMda chUTe. tane kaMI AnaMda chUTyo che ? praznakartA : chUTyo che ne, dAdA ! te ghaDIthI ja mahIM Akho ughADa thaI gayo. dAdAzrI : letAMnI sAthe ja ughADa thaI gayo ne ? letI vakhate enuM mana klIyara joIe. enuM mana te vakhate klIyara hatuM, meM tapAsa karI hatI. Ane cAritra grahaNa karyuM kahevAya ! vyavahAra cAritra ! ane peluM 'jova'-'jANavuM' rAkhIe, te nizcaya cAritra ! cAritranuM sukha jagata samakyuM ja nathI. cAritranuM sukha ja judI jAtanuM che. ame A sthaLa cAritranI vAta karIe chIe. e cAritra jene utpanna thAya, e bahu puNyazALI kahevAya. A chokarAo badhAM keTalAM Page #165 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 272 samajathI prApta brahmacarya samajathI prApta brahmacarya 271 puNyazALI kahevAya ! emaNe brahmacarya vratanI AjJA lIdhelI, te emane AnaMde ya kevo rahe ? praznakartA: Avo AnaMda to meM koI kALamAM joyo na hato. niraMtara AnaMda rahe che ! dAdAzrI : atyAre A kALamAM lokonAM cAritra khalAsa thaI gayAM che. badhe sArA saMskAra ja rahyA nathI ne ! A to ahIM AvI gayAM, te vaLI A jJAna maLyuM eTale rAge paDyuM che. A to puNyazALI che ! nahIM to kyAMnA kyAMya rakhaDI maryA hota. cAritramAM mANasa jo bagaDI jAya to yujhalesa lAIpha thaI jAya. duHkhI, duHkhI thaI jAya ! varIjha, varIjha, varIjha ! rAtre UMghamAM ya varIjha ! A to emane bahu AnaMda rahe. praznakartA : hA, pahelAM to jIvavA jevuM ja na hatuM. dAdAzrI : ema ?! have jIvavA jevuM lAge ?! gharanAM badhAMnI icchA hoya ke chokaro cAritra le, to e enA 'vyavasthita'mAM evuM che ema samajAya. e ja purAvo che. ame AmAM hAtha nA ghAlIe pachI. 'vyavasthita'mAM hoya to ja gharanAne badhAMne icchA rahe. koInI paNa bUma hoya to 'vyavasthita' pheravALuM lAge. kAraNa ke 'vyavasthita' eTale zuM ? koInI bUma nahIM. badhA lIlo vAvaTo ne lIlo vAvaTo ja dhare, to jANavuM ke 'vyavasthita' che. brahmacaryanI AjJA maLyA pachI koI bomba pheMkavA Ave to ApaNe sAbadA thaI javuM. A AjJA maLI che, e to bahu ja moTI vastu che ! A AjJA pAchaLa dAdAnI khUba zakti vaparAya che. jo tamAro nizcaya nA chUTe to dAdAnI zakti tamane helpa kare ne tamAro nizcaya chuTI jAya to dAdAnI zakti khasI jAya. brahmacarya to bahu moTo khajAno che ! loka to lUMTI jAya. nAnA chokarAMne bora ApIne kallaI kADhI le, tenA jevuM che. boranI lAlacamAM chokaruM phasAya ne kallaI ApI de, ema jagata lAlacamAM phasAyuM che. brahmacaryavrata lIdhA pachI AnaMda bahu vadhI gayo che ne? A avratane laIne ja A badhI bhAMjagaDa UbhI thaI che, enAthI AtmAnA sAcA svAdanI samajaNa paDatI nathI. mahAvratano AnaMda to judo ja ne ! AnaMda to pachI bahu vadhe, puSkaLa AnaMda thAya ! tapho khAvo ke khoTa aTakAvavI ? praznakartA : viSayathI chUTayo kyAre kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : ene pachI viSayano ekeya vicAra nA Ave. viSayasaMbaMdhI koI paNa vicAra nahIM, draSTi nahIM, e lAIna ja nahIM. e jANe jANato ja nA hoya evI rIte hoya, e brahmacarya kahevAya. praznakartA : jema bAlyAvasthA hoya che evuM ! dAdAzrI : nahIM, jema koI vastuthI tame ajANyA hoya, teno vicAra tamane nA Avyo hoya, enA jevuM hoya. mAMsAhAra koI dahADo khAto nA hoya, ene mAMsAhAranA vicAra Ave ja nahIM. e bAju draSTi ja nA hoya ne e bAju kazuM ja nA hoya. praznakartA amane e dazA kyAre Avaze ? dAdAzrI : kyAre Avaze, e jovAnuM nahIM. ApaNe cAla cAla karone, eTale enI meLe gAma Avaze. cAlavAthI gAma Ave, besI rahevAthI gAma nA Ave. rasto jJAnI puruSe dekhADelo che ane e rasto tame pakaDI lIdho che. have kyAre Avaze e kahIe to thAka lAgI jAya. mATe cAla cAla ja karo ne ! to enI meLe Avaze. tamArA jevI samAdhi moTA moTA saMtone nA rahe evuM che. pachI AthI vadhAre sukha zuM joIe ? praznakartA : to ya haju bAkI ja che ne ? dAdAzrI : ApaNane je maLyuM te sAcuM. bhagavAnano kAyado kevo che? je maLyuM, ene bhogavato nathI. ane nA maLyuM, tenI bhAMjagaDa kare che, te mUrkha mANasa che. AgaLa vadhavAnA prayatno to cAlu ja che, eno bojo rAkhavAnI jarUra nathI. ApaNe cAlatAM hoIe ane pachI kahIe Page #166 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 273 ke, 'kyAre gAma pahoMcAze, kyAre gAma pahoMcAze ?' to zuM thAya ?! alyA, tuM cAle to che ja, have zuM karavA bola bola kare che ? cAlavAno AnaMda Ave to jovAnuM mana thAya ke "A AMbo, A jAMbuDo' ema nirAMte badhuM joIe, paNa peluM to 'kyAre pahoMcAze, kyAre pahoMcAze ?' karyA kare ne, pachI AnaMda nA rahe. praznakartA : vrata lIdhe be-be varSa thayAM, to ya paNa Ama bahAra evuM kaMI pariNAma jevuM nathI dekhAtuM. dAdAzrI : e to tamAre pAra vagaranI khoTo che ne ! praznakartA : paNa te keTalI khoTo ? dAdAzrI : khoTo bahu jabarajasta ! chatAM have to jagata jItI levAnuM che. ApaNuM pada to enI meLe dahADe dahADe AvyA ja kare che. praznakartA : ghaNI vAra evuM thAya ke dhIme dhIme kyAre pAra Avaze? A mahino to gayo. emAM kaMI progresa thayo nathI. dAdAzrI : tAre progresa nA jovo, paNa nukasAna thAya evAM koI sAdhano UbhAM thaI gayAM che ke nathI thayAM, te jovuM. napho to niraMtara thayA ja kare che. AtmAno svabhAva che naphAno ! progrese ya AtmAno svabhAva che. tamAre to phakta jAgRti ja rAkhavAnI ke paDI nA javAya. ne nIce gayuM hoya, tene samuM karavA mATe 'kula" "phesa'mAM, mazInarIo ne lazkara-bazkara badhuM sAthe taiyArI karo ! ApaNI sephasAIDa rahe, e pramANe cAlyA ja karavuM. ApaNI Trena mozanamAM rahyA ja kare evuM rAkhyA karavAnuM. A viSayanA bomba ekalAM bahu bhAre, eno eka miniTa paNa vizvAsa rakhAya nahIM. Page #167 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ [15] viSaya' sAme vijJAnanI jAgRti ! AkarSaNa sAme khape potAno virodha ! praznakartA : "strI puruSanA viSaya saMgate, karAra mujaba deha bhaTakaze, mATe ceto mana-buddhi." A samajAvo. kAraNa ke Ape kaheluM, ke dareka potapotAnI bhASAmAM laI jAya, to AmAM "jema che tema' zuM hovuM ghaTe ? dAdAzrI : jyAM AkarSaNa thayuM, te AkarSaNamAM tanmayAkAra thayo, te coMTyo. AkarSaNa thayuM, paNa AkarSaNamAM tanmayAkAra nA thAya to coMTe nahIM. pachI AkarSaNa thAya teno vAMdho nahIM. praznakartA : e vastu potAne samajAya kevI rIte ke AmAM pote tanmayAkAra thayo che ? dAdAzrI : 'ApaNo' emAM virodha hoya, 'ApaNo' virodha e ja tanmayAkAra na thavAnI vRtti. "ApaNe" viSayanA saMgamAM coMTavuM nathI, samajathI prApta brahmacarya 275 eTale 'ApaNo' virodha to hoya ja ne ? virodha hoya e ja chUTuM ane bhUlecUke coMTI jAya, gothuM khavaDAvIne coMTI jAya, to pAchuM tenuM pratikramaNa karavuM paDe. praznakartA : potAno virodha nizcaya karIne to che ja, chatAM paNa evuM bane che ke udaya evAM Ave ke emAM tanmayAkAra thaI javAya, e zuM che ? dAdAzrI : virodha hoya to tanmayAkAra thavAya nahIM ane tanmayAkAra thayA to 'gothuM khAI gayA che" ema kahevAya. to evuM gothuM khAya, tenA mATe pratikramaNa che ja. paNa gothuM khAvAnI Teva nA pADavI, gothuM khAvAnA 'hebIcyaeTeDa' nA thavuM. mANasa jANI-joIne lapasI paDe kharo ? ahIM cIkaNI mATI hoya, kAdava hoya tyAM lokone jANI-joIne lapasavAnI Teva hoya ke nA hoya ? loka zothI lapasI jatAM haze ? praznakartA : e mATIno svabhAva ne mATI upara pote cAlyo, tethI. dAdAzrI : mATIno svabhAva to e pote jANe che. eTale pachI paganA AMgaLA dabAvI de, bIjA badhA prayatno kare. badhI jAtanA prayatno karavA chatAM ya paDI jAya, lapasI paDe, to enAM mATe bhagavAna ene rajA Ape che. te pachI evI Teva pADI de, to zuM thAya ?! praznakartA : Teva nahIM paDavI joIe. dAdAzrI : lapasI paDAyuM e to ApaNA hAthamAM, kAbUmAM nA rahyuM. tethI sauthI sArAmAM sAruM to 'ApaNo' virodha, jabarajasta virodha ! pachI je thAya enA jokhamadAra "ApaNe" nathI. tuM corI karavAno tadana virodhI houM, pachI tArAthI corI thaI jAya to tuM gunegAra nathI. kAraNa ke tuM virodhI che. praznakartA : ApaNe virodhI chIe ja, chatAM paNa e je cUkAya che, e vastu zuM che ? dAdAzrI : pachI cUkAya che, teno savAla nathI. e cUkyAno vAMdho bhagavAnane tyAM nathI. bhagavAna to cUkyAnI noMdha nathI karatA. kAraNa ke Page #168 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 276 samajathI prApta brahmacarya cUkyAnuM phaLa to ene tarata ja maLI jAya che. ene duHkha to thAya che ne ? nahIM to e zokhanI khAtara karato hoya to, ene AnaMda thAya. praznakartA : A viSayanI bAbatamAM potAnuM DahApaNa keTaluM cAle? dAdAzrI : jJAna maLyuM hoya to badhuM ya DahApaNa cAle. praznakartA : jJAna maLyuM hoya to ya keTaleka aMze prakRti bhAga to bhajave ne ? dAdAzrI : nA. jJAnathI prakRti nirmaLa thAya. viSayamAM potAnuM sahamatapaNuM nA hoya to nirmaLa thAya. praznakartA viSayamAM sahamatapaNuM nathI hotuM to ya kheMcAya che. dAdAzrI : e kheMcAya. e kheMcAya te ya badhuM jANavuM joIe. ane sTroMga nizcaya koI dahADo karyo nathI. praznakartA : kAyama cUkAya nahIM evuM joIe. dAdAzrI : ApaNo to nizcaya hovo joIe ke Ama A amAro nizcaya che. pachI kudarata kare, te ApaNA hAthanA khela nathI. e sAyanTiphika sarakamasTensiyala eviDansa che, emAM koInuM ya nA cAle. praznakartA : eno artha to e thayo ke evAM saMjogo ja mAre nA UbhA thAya. paNa e kema bane ? dAdAzrI : evuM bane ja nahIM ne ! jagata che, saMsAra che, tyAM sudhI evuM banI nA zake. evuM bane kyAre ? ke tame jema jema AgaLa jatAM jazo ema evA saMjogo ochA thatAM jaze, tema tema e jagyAe bhUmikA enI meLe ja Avaze. jJAnInI bhUmikA evI hoya, he...ya... ne sephasAIDa hoya !! emanA saMjogo badhA pAMsarA hoya. praznakartA : emanuM vyavasthita evI rIte ghaDAyuM hoya ? dAdAzrI : hA, evuM ghaDAyuM hoya. paNa te ekadama Ama nA banI samajathI prApta brahmacarya 277 zake. tamArA to hajI ghaNAM mAIlo jaze, tyAre e roDa Avaze. badhe ya kaMI kheMcANa thAya nahIM. tAre keTalI jagyAe kheMcANa thAya ? 'somAMthI eMsI jagyAe kheMcANa thAya ? pUrve cUkelAM, tenAM phaLa A ! praznakartA : e kevuM che ke Ama draSTi paDI ke aMdara UbhuM thAya, pachI draSTi nA gaI to kazuM ya nahIM. paNa eka vakhata Ama jovAya to aMdara pelAM caMcaLa pariNAma UbhAM thAya. dAdAzrI : draSTi, e vastu "ApaNAthI judI che. to pachI draSTi paDe, temAM ApaNane zuM thayuM ? paNa ApaNe mahIM coMTavA pharIe, tyAre draSTi zuM kare bicArI ?! A hoLIne jo pUjavA jaIe chIe, to tyAM ApaNI AMkha dAjhe kharI ? eTale hoLIne jovAthI kaMI AMkha dAjhatI nathI. kAraNa ke ApaNe khAlI ene joIe ja chIe. evI rIte A jagatamAM koI jagyAe AkarSaNa thAya evuM ja nathI, paNa potAnI mahIM ja jo vAMkuM che to AkarSaNa thAya ! praznakartA: be jAtanI draSTi che; emAM eka draSTi evI che ke ApaNe joIe ke cAmaDInI nIce lohI-mAMsa-hADakAM che, emAM AkarSaNa zuM ? ane bIjI draSTi e ke enAmAM zuddhAtmA che ane mArAmAM zuddhAtmA che. e bemAM kaI draSTi UMcI gaNAya ? dAdAzrI : e to beu draSTi rAkhavI paDe. e zuddhAtmA che, e draSTi to ApaNane che ja. ane pelI bIjI draSTi to jarA jo AkarSaNa thAya to jema che ema rAkhavI joIe, nahIM to moha thaI jAya. praznakartA : hA, barAbara che. huM paNa zuddhAtmA ne e paNa zuddhAtmA evuM hoya, to bIjuM je AkarSaNa che te rahetuM nathI. dAdAzrI : nA rahe, paNa eTalI badhI jAgRti nA rahe. jyAre AkarSaNa thAya tyAre zuddhAtmA bhUlI jAya. zuddhAtmA bhUle to ja ene AkarSaNa thAya, nahIM to AkarSaNa thAya nahIM. tethI to ame tamane evuM Page #169 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 278 samajathI prApta brahmacarya jJAna ApyuM che ke tamane AtmA dekhAya. pachI kema moha thAya che ?! ApaNe AkarSaNa nA karavuM hoya to ya AMkha kheMcAI jAya. ApaNe Ama AMkha dabAva dabAva karIe to ya pelI bAju jatI rahe ! praznakartA : evuM zA mATe thAya ? e jUnA paramANu che eTale ? dAdAzrI : nA, pUrve ApaNe cUka khAdhI che, pUrve tanmayAkAra thavA dIdhuM che, tenuM A phaLa AvyuM che. to have e AkarSaNamAM pharI tanmayAkAra nA thAya ne enuM pratikramaNa karI pelI cuka kADhI nAkhavAnI. ane pharI tanmayAkAra thAya eTale navI cUka khAdhI, to enuM phaLa Avate bhava Avaze. eTale tanmayAkAra nA thAya evuM A vijJAna che ApaNuM !! sAmAmAM zuddhAtmA ja jo jo karyA karavA ane bIjuM dekhAya ne kheMcANa thAya to pratikramaNa karavuM, te sivAya bhaya-signala ja che. bIjuM badhuM tamAre samabhAve nikAla karavo. AmAM to sAmo jabarajasta moTI phariyAda karanAro che, mATe cetajo. ame e cetavaNI ApIe. praznakartA : A ja loco paDe che ne ! samajathI prApta brahmacarya 279 dAdAzrI : hA, jAgRti rAkhavI. tuM rAkhe che eTalI badhI jAgRti ? praznakartA : tyAM ja puruSArtha che Akho. dAdAzrI : ema ?! tane samajaNa paDe ke A gayA avatAranI bhUla che evuM ? zuM khabara paDe ? tAre evuM anubhavamAM AveluM ? praznakartA : hA, eTale potAnI jAgRti hoya ke A doSa thayo. have tene dhoIne pote taiyAra hoya, pote enAthI chUTo thayo. paNa pAchuM sarakamasTenziyala eviDansa bhegA thAya, nimitta bheguM thAya eTale pAchI viSayanI gAMTha phUTe ja. potAnI jabarajasta taiyArI hoya ke upayoga cUkavo nathI, paNa 'peluM' phUTe. pachI pAchuM dhoI nAkhavAnuM, paNa peluM pAchuM UbhuM thAya kharuM ! - dAdAzrI : eTale A indriyajJAnano svabhAva evo che ke sAmuM bahu AkarSaNavALuM hoya ane rAgI svabhAvanuM hoya to, te ApaNI AMkhomAM dhULa nAkhe. te ghaDIe bahu jAgRta rahevuM paDe. ApaNe jANIe ke A nathI jovuM to ya kheMcANa kema thAya che ? tyAM AgaLa ApaNe zuM karavuM joIe ke zuddhAtmA ja jo jo karavA joIe. praznakartA : te vakhate pAchuM pratyAkhyAna karavuM joIe ? dAdAzrI : pratikramaNe ya karavAnuM ne pratyAkhyAne ya karavAnuM, beu karavAnuM. pratikramaNa zene mATe karavAnuM ke pUrvabhave kaMIka joyuM che, tethI ja A utpanna thayuM che. A saMjoga kyAMthI bAkyo ? nahIM to darekane koI jotuM nathI. A to jovAnuM maLyuM te maLyuM, paNa emAMthI AkarSaNanA pravAha kema vahe che ? mATe pUrvabhavano hisAba che, te A bhavamAM pratikramaNa karavAM paDe. viSaya vikArI je je bhAvo karyA hoya, icchA, ceSTA, saMkalpa-vikalpa karyA hoya e badhAMnuM pratikramaNa karavuM paDe ane pachI pratyAkhyAna karavuM paDe ane pAchAM emano zuddhAtmA ja jo jo karavo paDe. pugala svabhAva jJAte karIte... pudgalano svabhAva jo jJAna karIne raheto hoya, to to pachI tyAM juo zuddhAtmA ja ! dAdAzrI : to tuM cetavaNI rAkhato nathI ? praznakartA : cetavaNI to rAkhuM chuM ne, paNa A to niraMtara cetavAnuM dAdAzrI : to ya paNa jyAM AgaLa ApaNane kheMcANa nA karavuM hoya chatAM ya kheMcANa thayA kare to e pahelAMnI, gayA avatAranI bhUla che e nakkI thaI gayuM. navesarathI kheMcANa thAya e vastu ApaNane samajAya ke jo ApaNe nA jovuM hoya to nA joI zakAya, evuM rahevuM joIe. paNa A to jUnuM che, eTale tyAM to ApaNe nA jovuM hoya to ya kheMcAI javAya. praznakartA : A jagyAe puruSArtha karavAno rahyo. jAgRti rAkhavI e puruSArtha ? Page #170 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 280 samajathI prApta brahmacarya AkarSaNa thAya evuM che ja nahIM. paNa pudgalano svabhAva zAne karIne raheto hoya, evuM hoya ja nahIMne koI mANasane ! pudgalano svabhAva amane to jJAna karIne rahe. praznakartA : pudgalano svabhAva zAne karIne rahe to AkarSaNa nA rahe, e nA samajAyuM. dAdAzrI : eTale zuM ke koI strI ke puruSa game tevAM kapaDAM paheryAM hoya to kapaDA rahita dekhAya, te jJAna karIne pharsTa darzana. bIjuM, sekanDa darzana eTale zarIra parathI cAmaDI khasI jAya tevuM dekhAya ane tharDa darzana eTale badhuM ja aMdaranuM dekhADe evuM dekhAya. pachI AkarSaNa rahe kharuM ? evuM tane rahe che ? praznakartA evo abhyAsa dahADe dahADe vadhato jAya che. dAdAzrI : tyAre sAruM. evo abhyAsa kare, te sAruM kahevAya. Ama draSTi nirmaLa karAya ! koI strI UbhelI hoya tene joI, paNa tarata draSTi pAchI kheMcI lIdhI. chatAM te pachI draSTi to pAchI tyAM ne tyAM ja jatI rahe, Ama draSTi tyAM ja kheMcAyA kare e 'phAIla' kahevAya. eTale ATalI ja bhUla A kALamAM samajavAnI che. pAchalI je phAIla UbhI thaI hoya, jarAka nAnI amathI paNa 'phAIla', ke je ApaNane AkarSaNa kare evI hoya, evI ApaNane khabara paDe ke A 'phAIla" che; tyAM AgaLa cetatA rahevuM. have cetIne bIjuM zuM karavAnuM? jene zuddhAtmA jotAM AvaDyo che, eNe enA zuddhAtmA jo jo karavAnA. enAthI e AkhuM ya badhuM UDI jAya. praznakartA : sAthe sAthe pratikramaNa ne prakhyAkhyAna rAkhavAnuM ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, e to karavuM ja paDe ne ! praznakartA : AkarSaNanI phAIla e kaMI 'kanTInyuasa' nathI rahetI. paNa A AkarSaNa UbhuM thAya, jema ahIM lohacuMbaka hoya ne A TAMkaNInuM samajathI prApta brahmacarya 281 ahIMthI pasAra thavuM ne kheMcAI jAya, paNa tarata khabara paDI ke kheMcAI gayuM eTale pAchuM tarata kheMcI laIe. dAdAzrI : je khabara paDe che e A 'jJAnane laIne khabara paDe che, nahIM to bIjo to bebhAna thaI jAya. A 'jJAnane laIne khabara paDe che eTale pachI ApaNe enuM pratikramaNa karavuM paDe. pachI ApaNe nirmaLa draSTi dekhADavI joIe. ApaNAmAM roga hoya to ja sAmo mANasa ApaNo roga pakaDe ne ? ane ApaNI nirmaLa draSTi dekhe to ? draSTi nirmaLa karavI, e AvaDe ke nA AvaDe ? praznakartA : vadhAre phoDa pADo ke kevI rIte draSTi nirmaLa karavI ? dAdAzrI : 'huM zuddhAtmA chuM' e jAgRtimAM AvI jAya, pachI draSTi nirmaLa thaI jAya. nA thaI hoya to zabdathI pAMca-dasa vakhata bolIe ke, 'huM zuddhAtmA chuM, huM zuddhAtmA chuM, huM zuddhAtmA chuM' to ya pAchuM AvI jAya athavA 'dAdA bhagavAna jevo nirvikArI chuM, nirvikArI chuM' ema bolIe to ya pAchuM AvI jAya. eno upayoga karavo paDe, bIjuM kazuM nahIM. A to vijJAna che, tarata phaLa Ape ane jarAka jo gAphela rahyo to bIjI bAju uDADI mAre evuM che ! bIjI koI vastu naDe evI nathI. strI ApaNane aDI ane pachI mahIM ApaNo bhAva badalAyo tyAM jAgRti rAkhavI. kAraNa ke strI jAtinA paramANu ja evA che ke sAmAnA bhAva badalAI ja jAya. A to ame hAtha mUkIe to ene vicAra Avyo hoya te ya UlaTo badalAI jAya, enAM evAM kharAba vicAra UDI jAya ! viSayanI yojanA sivAya bIjI badhI yojanAo vakhate bhAMgaphoDa kare to calAvI levAze. kAraNa ke bIjI badhI mizracetana joDenI yojanAo nathI; jayAre A viSayanI yojanA e mizracetana joDenI yojanA che. ApaNe choDI daIe to ya sAmo dAvo mAMDe to zuM thAya ? mATe ahIM cetatA rahevAnuM kahyuM. bIjAmAM gAphela rahyA to cAlaze. gAphelanuM phaLa e ke jAgRti jarA ochI raheze. paNa A viSaya to bahu moTAmAM moTuM jokhama, Page #171 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 282 samajathI prApta brahmacarya sAmo je sthAne javAno hoya, e sthAne ApaNane laI jAya !! ApaNA jJAna sAthe have e sthAnamAM ApaNane zI rIte poSAya ? eka bAju jAgRti ne eka bAju A vaLagaNa, e zI rIte poSAya ? paNa to ya hisAba cUkavavo paDe. praznakartA: e rUpakamAM to Ave ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, e kevuM rUpakamAM Ave, ke e strI ApaNI bIjA bhavamAM madhara thAya, vAIpha thAya, jo eka ja kalAkanuM viSayasaMbaMdhI enAM mATe dhyAna kare to ?! evuM che A ! A ekaluM ja ApaNe cetatA rahevA jevuM che ! bIjA kazAmAM cetavAnuM nathI kahetA. vicAra dhyAnarUpa to nathI thatAM ne ? viSayano vicAra mahIM Uge to zuM karavuM ? A kheDUtono evo rivAja che ke jamInamAM kapAsa ne badhuM AvaDuM AvaDuM UgI jAya tyAra pachI mahIM joDe bIjI vastu ghAsa ke velA UgI gayA hoya to, tene te kADhI nAkhe. ene nIMdI nAkhavAnuM kahe che. kapAsa sivAya bIjo koI paNa jAtano choDavo dekhAya ke tarata tene ukheDIne pheMkI de, evI rIte ApaNe viSayanA vicAro ekalAM ja UgatAMnI sAthe tarata ukheDIne pheMkI devA, nahIM to AvaDo moTo choDavo thayA pachI ene pAchAM phaLa Ave, e phaLamAMthI pAchAM bIja paDe. eTale Ane to UgatAM ja ukheDI nAkhavo, phaLa AvatAM pahelAM ja ukheDI nAkhavo. praznakartA : e kevI rIte ? dAdAzrI : ApaNane mahIM vicAra badalAyo, te nA khabara paDe ke zAno vicAra atyAre zarU thayo ? te vicAra AvyA pachI, ene laMbAvavA nA devuM. e vicAra dhyAnarUpa nA thavo joIe. vicAra bhale Ave. vicAra to mahIM che eTale AvyA vagara rahe ja nahIM. paNa te dhyAnarUpa nA thavuM joIe. dhyAnarUpa thAya, te pahelAM ja vicArane ukheDIne pheMkI devo. praznakartA : dhyAnarUpa eTale kevI rIte ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya 283 dAdAzrI : enAM e ja vicAramAM ramaNatA karavI, enuM nAma dhyAnarUpa thayuM kahevAya. eka ja vicAramAM tame ramaNatA karo, e enuM dhyAna kahevAya. enuM pachI bahAra bedhyAnapaNuM thAya, tevA bahAra bedhyAnapaNAvALA nathI hotA mANasa ? tAruM dhyAna kyAM che, evuM loka nA pUche ? te ApaNe jANIe ke dhyAna ahIM AgaLa che. jyAM 'dAdA'e nA kahyuM hatuM, tyAM che. enA e ja vicAramAM ramaNatA cAle, e dhyAna kahevAya. e dhyAna pachI ene dhyeya svarUpe thaI jAya. e vicAronuM dhyAna thayuM, pachI ApaNuM cAle ja nahIM. dhyAna nA thayuM to kazo vAMdho nathI. praznakartA : dhyAnarUpa nA thayuM ane e nIMdAI gayuM, e kevI rIte khabara paDe ? dAdAzrI : ApaNe UgatAM ja e vastu pheMkI devAnI ane pachI AgaLa e vicAradhArA pheravI nAkhavI paDe, bIjI mUkI devI paDe. nahIM to pachI jApa cAlu karavA paDe. e TAIma gayo eTale pachI enI mudata gaI. haMmezAM dareka vastune TAIma hoya che ke sADAsAtathI ATha sudhI AvAM vicAra Ave. e TAIma kADhI nAkhIe, pachI ApaNane bhAMjagaDa nA Ave. jovAthI ogaLe, gAMTho viSayatI ! praznakartA : paNa gAMTho to jovAthI ogaLe ne ? to ApaNe A bIjI bAju joIe, to pelI gAMTho jovAnI rahI jAya ne ? dAdAzrI : e to tamArAmAM jo zakti hoya to navo upayoga bIjI bAju nA mUkIne ene ja juo. nA zakti hoya to navo upayoga bIjI bAju badalIne mUkI do. praznakartA : eTale banne zakya che ? dAdAzrI : zakya ja chene vaLI ! A bAju navo upayoga mUkI de. eTale tuM evuM karuM chuM ne ? e barobara che. praznakartA viSayanA bahu joradAra vicAro AvatAM hoya eTale A bIjI bAju joI levAnuM eTale e nIkaLI jAya. Page #172 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 284 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : basa. e enI meLe jatAM rahevAnA. chellAmAM chello rasto e ke ene ekkekTa joIne javA devuM. paNa e nA thAya to tamAre A rIte karo to ya cAlI jAya. praznakartA : eTale A vacceno rasto thayo ne ! dAdAzrI : A najIkano rasto. praznakartA : eTale chellAmAM chelle to, joIne javA devuM e. dAdAzrI : pachI bahu nA rahyuM. hisAba thoDoka ja rahe che. paNa atyAre tame gUMcavAI jAva cho, tenA karatAM cho ne najIkano rasto lo. praznakartA: mane Avo vicAra Avyo'to ke huM trimaMtra vAMcuM chuM. namaskAravidhi ne badhuM vAMcuM chuM ane AvI rIte jovAnuM Ape kahyuM tyAre kaMI Ama aDatuM na hatuM. tyAre ekadama sIdhuM cAlatuM'tuM. paNa A jyAre vidhi karavAnI cUkAI gaI eTale pAchuM badhuM A Ama AvyA kare aMdara. eTale thoDuM pAchuM mane IphekTa thaI jatI'tI. dAdAzrI : nA, e to bIjuM calAvo pAchAM. jovA besavuM, game te karavuM. upayoga bIjI jagyAe rAkhavo, kaMIka kAmamAM mUkI rAkhavuM. praznakartA : Akhare to A gAMTho jovI ja paDaze ke evuM jarUrI nathI ? dAdAzrI : evuM che ne, sekanDarI sTejamAM kAma levuM atyAre, tamArAthI sahana nA thatuM hoya to. eTale tamAre bIjo upayoga mUkavo eTale pelI jatI rahI enI meLe. pharI Avaze, e jyAre tyAre joyuM to paDaze eka dA'Do, tyAre te dA'De atyArathI saheluM haze sahejAsaheja. te hAtha aDADe ne jatAM rahe badhA. praznakartA : eTale te vakhate jJAtA-draSTA sArApaNe rahevAtuM haze !! dAdAzrI : hA, saraLa rIte. UduM tane jovAnuM game. halakuM thaI jAya bilakula ane tArAmAM zakti vadhelI hoya te vakhate. atyAre tuM samajathI prApta brahmacarya 285 nirbaLa thaI gayelo. praznakartA : eTale pelI haju jovAnI zakti nathI, tyAM sudhI A karavuM paDe. dAdAzrI: eTale atyAre koI paNa upAya che te, temAMthI chUTA thAva. praznakartA : viSayasaMbaMdhI doSo thatA hoya, to AnuM mULa slipa thavAnuM moTuM kaoNjha to mana che. to e manathI je viSaya thatA hoya, to ene dUra karavA hoya to kevI rIte karI zakAya ? dAdAzrI : manane dhyAna nA devuM te, 'mana'ne 'joyA' karavuM. praznakartA : kAraNa ke atyAre to caMdrazano Akho kaMTrola 'mane' ja laI lIdhelo che. eTale mana pramANe ja cAle che. dAdAno satsaMga hoya to ya mane batAve ne, e bAju e kheMcAya che. paNa mananuM amuka gAThuM nahIM, satsaMgamAM AvavuM eTale e mana badhuM batAve, e badhuM e bAju dhyAna nA dauM. satsaMgamAM AvI jauM. to A manathI je doSo thatAM hoya, to ene kevI rIte uDAvA joIe ? dAdAzrI : doSa ja thAya nahIMne, ApaNA jJAna lIdhA pachI. praznakartA : hA, doSa to nA thAya. tema chatAM ya bIje draSTi kheMcAya che, eTale AkhuM emAM mananuM ja kAma AvyuM ne ! dAdAzrI : hA, e to mana hoya ja. paNa ApaNuM 'jJAna', jJAnamAM rahe che ne ! "jJAna"ne jJAnamAM rAkhavuM joIe. 'jJAna'ne ajJAnamAM dAkhala nA thavA devuM joIe. praznakartA H eTale je thAya che, ene 'joyA karavuM ema, evuM thayuM to ? dAdAzrI : bIjuM kazuM ja nahIM. Page #173 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 287 praznakartA: zeno ? dAdAzrI : A tuM ajJAnamAM pesI jauM chuM pachI ? praznakartA: A e ja Ave che AkhuM, potA upare ya ema thAya che ke A caMdreza bagaDI gayo, potAne ema thaI jAya ke huM bagaDI gayo. ema potAnA para tiraskAra Ave che, ke AvuM ?! kyAM pahelAno caMdreza ne kyAM atyArano caMdreza ! AvuM che badhuM ke ?! ghaNIvAra to pratikramaNe yu nA thAya. dAdAzrI : zI rIte thAya paNa te ?! jJAna, ajJAnamAM pesI jAya pachI zI rIte thAya ? jUdo raheto hoya to thAya. 286 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : paNa je viSaya che, emAM to jovuM e ya jokhamakartA ne ! kyAre slipa thaI jAya, e to kahevAya ja nahIM ne ! dAdAzrI : kazuM nA thAya. pote jJAtA-draSTA rahe to kazuM nA thAya. 'slipa thaI jAya" e kahevAya ja nahIM. praznakartA : paNa e DisAIDa kevI rIte karI zake, ke pote jJAtAdrAmAM che ? dAdAzrI : zaMkA che, tene ja badhuM thaI jAya. jene zaMkA nathI, tene kazuM nA thAya. praznakartA : eTale to A je AkhuM thayuM che, e zaMkAnA AdhAre ja A thayeluM che ? atyAre A caMdrazanI je avasthA che, AkhI zaMkA nA AdhAre ja che ? dAdAzrI : to bIjuM zenA AdhAre ? praznakartA eTale potA para zaMkA thaI che ene. dAdAzrI : evuM che ne 'caMdreza zuM kare che" ema joyA karavAnuM. ApaNe ene kahevAya kharuM ke 'tuM nAlAyaka chuM.' Amatema badhuM ya kahevAya. tanmayAkAra nahIM thaI javAnuM, to zakti utpanna thaI jAya pachI. "jJAna" ajJAnamAM ghUsI nA javuM joIe. praznakartA : ghaNIvAra to e paNa DisAIDa nA thaI zakatuM hoya ke A jJAna che ke ajJAna che ? dAdAzrI : DisAIDa thayA vagara rahe ja nahIM ne ! praznakartA : vAre ghaDIe pelI bAju kheMcAtuM hoya eTale potAne zaMkA rahe ke A jJAnamAM che ke ajJAnamAM che. dAdAzrI : kheMcAI rahyuM che te ya, jene kheMcanAra che, e badhuM ja "je' 'jANe che, e "jJAna" che. jANe nahIM eTale pachI jJAna khasI gayuM kahevAya, ajJAnamAM pesI gayuM. praznakartA H jJAna, ajJAnamAM ghUsI jAya che, to eno ATalo lAMbo piriyaDa che. to have enAM mATe zuM karavuM joIe ? dAdAzrI : kazuM ja karavAnuM nA hoya. praznakartA : to e ajJAnamAM pesI gayo che, ene ya jovAno ? dAdAzrI : hA. praznakartA : A bagaDI gayo, ene sudhAravuM to paDe ja ne ! dAdAzrI : e satsaMgamAM vadhAre javuM joIe. satsaMgamAM vadhAre eTale pachI regyulara ! praznakartA : hA, e vastu to joyuM. satsaMgamAM Ave che tyAre bahu klIyara thaI jAya che. dAdAzrI : hA, paNa satsaMgamAM vadhAre paDI rahevuM paDe. eTalo TAIma kADhI rAkhavo joIe satsaMga mATe. jovuM' "jANavuM' AtmasvarUpe praznakartA : jovAthI pudgala zuddha thaI jAya, e viSaya mATe paNa Page #174 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 288 karekTa che ? dAdAzrI : viSayamAM evuM badhAne rahI zake nahIM ne ! viSaya ekalo ja evo che, joI zake nahIM, cUkI jAya. bIjAmAM joI zakAya tarata. viSaya sivAya bIjuM badhuM joI zake, jalebI khAye kharo ne jalebInA khAnArane ya jue. jalebI kevI rIte cAle che, emAM pote hase hau ke "ohoho ! zuM caMdrezabhAI cAvavA mAMDI jalebI tame TesTathI !" praznakartA : ApaNe koI jagyAe beThAM hoIe ane tyAM bAjumAM koI strI Ave, ApaNane spaMdana UbhuM thAya, to e 'joIe to cAle ke pratikramaNa karavuM paDe ? dAdAzrI : pratikramaNa karavuM paDe. 'joIe', enuM nAma kahevAya ke e 'jotAM hoya to caMdrezane ApaNe kahIe, "ohoho caMdrezabhAI ! tame to strIo paNa juo cho, have to rophamAM AvI gayA lAgo cho.' enuM nAma 'joyuM' kahevAya. AMkhothI joIe, e to badhA A jagatanA loko ya jue ja che ne ! AMkhonuM joyeluM Indriya jJAna kahevAya. praznakartA : A to aMdara aMdana utpanna thAya, e joIe ke A spaMdana utpanna thayA. evuM jovAthI jAya ! dAdAzrI : "jovuM'. 'jovAmAM', ame je kahIe chIe, e juduM kahIe chIe. ame to "A zuM kare che e ame 'jANIe'. huM to kahuM ne aMbAlAlabhAI laherathI tame jamavA mAMDyuM chene kaMI !" praznakartA AvI rIte kahevuM, e "joyuM" kahevAya evuM Apa kahevA mAMgo cho. eTale AkhI 'jovAnI' je prakriyA che, e AvI rIte vAtacItanA saMbaMdhathI spaSTa rIte rahI zakAya. dAdAzrI : hA. eTale A tame badhA 'juo" e "joyuM" nA kahevAya. e tamArI bhASAmAM tamArA DahApaNathI karavA jAvane, to UlTo mAra khAI jazo. amane pUchavuM ke AvuM amAruM DahApaNa che, e barobara che ? praznakartA H AmAM evuM thAya che ke viSayano vicAra Ubho thAya ne A samajathI prApta brahmacarya 289 bAju chedAya, pAcho Ubho thAya, pAcho chedAya. eTale A potAnI pakaDa choDatuM nathI paNa pelo vicAre ya cAlyA kare, beu sAmasAme cAlyA kare. dAdAzrI : e choDe nahIM ne ! eTale pahelo vicAra ja Ama kADhIne pheMkI devo, pachI koI jAtanA jApa karavA besI javuM. 'dAdA bhagavAnane namaskAra karuM chuM', Ama tema karavuM, pado gAvA mAMDavA, e jApa ja che badhA. ApaNe kahevuM ke 'caMdrezabhAI, gAva" mahIMthI. jJAna to, enuM bolyA ja karaze, bicAruM. e jJAna to jAgRta karyA ja kare ke jAgo, jAgo, jAgo ! evuM mahIMthI nathI karatuM ? praznakartA: hA, bahu kare che, enA pratApe to badhuM TakI rahyuM che. dAdAzrI: have bahAranA mANasa zI rIte Take bicArAM ?! jJAna nA hoya to zI rIte Take ? nA Take. e to jema prakRti laI jAya, tema DhasaDAyA kare. jAgRtimAM jhokA, tyAM viSayatA soTAM ! praznakartA: A jJAnanI jAgRti thakI prakRti sAme moTo phorsa Ubho thayo che. dAdAzrI : hA. A jJAna che tethI prakRtinI sAme jIte kharuM, paNa joDe joDe ApaNuM je astitva che te jJAna sAthe hovuM joIe. pudgala sAthe astitva thayuM to khalAsa karI nAkhe. eTale svapariNAmI hovuM joIe. pelA vicAramAM mIThAza lAgI eTale thaI rahyuM, e pachI khalAsa karI nAkhe. kAraNa ke pelI bAju para pariNAma thayAM. have e vicAro mIThAza Ave evAM hoya ne ? ke kaDavAza Ave ? praznakartA : mIThAza Ave evAM Ave ne ! dAdAzrI : eTale ja tyAM cetavAnuM che ! Avo to phoDa bIjI jagyAe karAya nahIM ne ! A to vijJAna che eTale phoDa karAya. A roga koI kADhe ja nahIM ne? A roga zI rIte nIkaLe ? Ano ilAja ApaNe Page #175 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 290 samajathI prApta brahmacarya tyAM thAya. ahIM strIo beThI hoya to ya ApaNe tyAM vAMdho nA Ave. bIjI jagyAe to AvI vAta ja nA thAya ne ! jAgRti maMda paDI ke viSaya pesI jAya. jAgRti maMda paDI ke pachI e dhakko khAya. viSaye eka evI kharAba vastu che ke emAM eka phero lapasyo eTale jAgRti para gADha AvaraNa AvI jAya. pachI jAgRti rAkhavI hoya to ya rahe nahIM. jyAM sudhI ekuMya phero paDyo nathI, tyAM sudhI jAgRti rahe. vakhate AvaraNa Ave, paNa jAgRti tarata ja AvI jAya. paNa eka ja phero lapasyo to jabarajasta gADhuM AvaraNa AvI jAya, pachI sUryacaMdra dekhAya nahIM. eka ja vakhata lapasavAnuM bahu nukasAna che. praznakartA : jAgRti maMda eTale 'ekcyulI' kevI rIte bane che ? dAdAzrI : eka phero AvaraNa AvI jAya ene. e zaktine sAcavanArI je zakti che ne, e zakti para AvaraNa AvI jAya, e zakti kAma karatI buThThI thaI jAya. pachI te ghaDIe jAgRti maMda thaI jAya. e zakti buThThI thaI gaI pachI kazuM thAya nahIM, kazuM vaLe nahIM. pAcho pharI mAra khAya, pachI mAra khAyA ja kare. pachI mana, vRttio, e badhuM ene avaLuM samajAve ke, 'ApaNane to have kazo vAMdho nathI. ATaluM badhuM to che ne ?' AvuM pAchAM mahIM vakIla samajAvanArA hoya, e vakIlanuM jajamenTa pAchuM cAlu thaI jAya. pachI kaheze ke paraheja karo, mukta hatA tenAM pAchAM thayA paraheja. evuM thavuM tenAM karatAM paiNavuM sAruM, nahIM to evuM thavuM nA joIe. praznakartA : e zaktine rakSaNa ApanArI zakti eTale zuM ? dAdAzrI : eka phero slipa thayo, te slipa nahIM thavAnI je mahIM zakti hatI te ghasAya, eTale ke e zakti lapaTI paDatI jAya. eTale pachI bATalI Ama ADI thaI ke dUdha enI meLe ja bahAra nIkaLI jAya, peluM to ApaNe bUca kADhavo paDato hato. e tane samajAyuM ? praznakartA : eka asaMyama pariNAmathI pachI guNaka rIte ja AkhuM DAunamAM jatuM rahe ne asaMyama vadhyA ja kare evuM ne ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya 291 dAdAzrI : hA, eTale asaMyama vadhyA ja kare ne ! eTale pAchuM lapaTuM ja paDatuM jAya. eka to lapaTuM paDyuM che ne pharI pAchuM lapaTuM paDyuM, to pachI rahyuM zuM ? pachI to mahIM mana-buddhi zikhAmaNa ApanArA ane mahIM jaja ne badhA sAkSI pUranArA nIkaLe. alyA, koI sAkSIvALA nahotA, te kyAMthI AvyA ? tyAre kahe ke, 'amane pahelethI kahyuM hatuM ne ke tame sAkSImAM Avajo, te ame sAkSI pUravA AvyA chIe ! ke have kazo vAMdho nathI. tamArI to, ATalI badhI jAgRti. have tamane zo vAMdho che, have tamAro jarAya doSa nathI.' tAre koI phero evA sAkSIvALA nathI AvatA ? praznakartA : hA, bane ne. paNa mAre kevuM bane che ke paheluM Ama grApha UMce jAya, pachI jAgRti maMda paDatI dekhAya, pachI khabara paDe ke have DAuna thavA mAMDyuM. eTale pachI pAchuM tarata joma AvI jAya ke A bhUla thAya che kyAMka, eTale pachI pAchI zodhakhoLa thAya ane pAchuM upara AvI javAya, paNa Ama DAunamAM Ave che kharuM ! dAdAzrI : hA, paNa e DAunamAM Ave to, e kyAM sudhI cAlI zake ? jyAM sudhI ApaNI ekuMya phero bhUla nA thAya tyAM sudhI cAlI zake, paNa eka phero bhUla thaI eTale lapaTuM paDe. saMsArIpaNAmAM hajAra bhUlo khAya teno vAMdho nahIM. kAraNa ke lapaTuM ja paDI gayuM che, pachI emAM vAMdho ja zo ? enuM nAma ja lapaTuM paDeluM che ne ! paNa ahIM to tame TAITa rAkhyuM che te TAITa ja rAkhavAnuM, ane e zakti jo UrdhvamAna thAya to bahu kAma kADhI nAkhe. praznakartA : e kevA prakAranA doSathI lapaTuM paDavAnuM cAlu thAya che ? dAdAzrI : saMyama, asaMyama thayo ke lapaTuM paDI ja jAya. saMyama jyAM sudhI saMyamabhAvamAM hoya tyAM sudhI lapaTuM nA paDe. Ama vadha-ghaTa thayA kare eno vAMdho nahIM, paNa e saMyama tUTyo ke pachI thaI rahyuM. e saMyama tUTe kyAre ? ke 'vyavasthita'nAM pAchaLanA anusaMdhAna hoya to tUTe. ane tUTyA pachI, ene khedAnamedAna karI nAkhe. mUrchA UDI gaI pachI vAMdho nathI. mUrchA ja uDADavAnI che. mane Page #176 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 292 samajathI prApta brahmacarya mUrchA UDI gaI' evuM bolIe tethI karIne kazuM nA vaLe, mUrchA to ekjhekTa javI ja joIe. ane te ya jJAnI puruSanI pAse TesTa karAvI levuM joIe ke, 'sAheba, mArI mUrchA gaI ke nahIM, e TesTa karI Apo.' nahIM to mahIM evI evI vakIlAto cAle ke 'basa, have badhI mUrchA UDI gaI che, have koI vAMdho nathI !' eTale vakIlAto karanArA bahu ne ! mATe jAgRta rahevuM ! aparAdha thaI jAya evI jagyAethI khasI javuM. AtmA to Apyo che ane e AtmA asaMga svabhAvano che, nirlepa svabhAvano che. paNa anaMta avatArathI pudgalanI kheMca che. tame judA thayA, paNa pudgalanI kheMca choDe nahIM ne ?! e kheMca jAya nahIM ne ?! strI-puruSanA AkarSaNamAM e jAgRti nA rAkhI, to pudgalanI kheMca ene aMdhArAmAM nAkhI de. aMte to AtmarUpa ja thavAnuM che ! praznakartA : jyArathI brahmacaryanI vicAraNA zarU thaI che, tyArathI te bAju majabUta banavA mAMDyuM che. to mahIM pAcho A ahaMkAre ya sAthe sAthe Ubho thavA mAMDyo, e ya Ama herAna kare ghaNIvAra. dAdAzrI : kevo ahaMkAra Ubho thAya ? praznakartA : 'huM kaMIka chuM, huM kevuM sarasa brahmacarya pALuM chuM.' evo. dAdAzrI : e to nirjIva ahaMkAra che. praznakartA : mahIM A badhI khumArI bharI hoya tevuM thaI jAya. dAdAzrI : hA, paNa to ya e to badho nirjIva ahaMkAra kahevAya. marelo mANasa beTho thaI jAya to ApaNe tyAMthI nAsI javuM ?! bAkI, brahmacaryano kharo artha zo che ke brahmamAM caryA. zuddhAtmAmAM ja rahevuM, enuM nAma brahmacarya. paNa A to loka brahmacaryano zo artha kare che ? naLane dATo mArI do. paNa dUdha pIdhuM, tenuM zuM thaze ? AkhA jagate viSayone viSa kahyAM. paNa ame kahIe chIe, viSayo e viSa nathI, paNa viSayomAM nIDaratA e viSa che.' nahIM to mahAvIra bhagavAnane choDI zI rIte thAta ? jagata vAtane samajyuM ja nathI. rileTivamAM brahmacarya hovuM ghaTe, paNa A samajathI prApta brahmacarya 293 to pAchAM eka ja khUNAmAM paDyA rahe che ane brahmacaryano ja Agraha kare che ane teno ja durAgraha kare che. brahmacaryanA AgrahI thAya che teno vAMdho nathI, paNa durAgrahI thayA teno vAMdho che. Agraha e ahaMkAra che ane durAgraha e jabarajasta ahaMkAra che. brahmacaryano durAgraha karyo eTale bhagavAna kahe che, 'mAra cokaDI.' pachI bhalene brahmacarya pALato hoya. praznakartA : badhI bAbata mATe koInA doSa mane nA dekhAya, paNa brahmacarya mATe mane koI avaLuM kahe to mArI bahu haTI jAya, tarata ja enAM doSa dekhAvA mAMDe. dAdAzrI : A zAthI ? ke AtmA upara prIti nathI, brahmacarya para prIti che. paNa brahmacarya e pudgala che. AtmA pote to brahmacArI ja che, niraMtara brahmacArI che ! A to ApaNe bahArano upAya karIe chIe ane te paNa kudaratI rIte DiscArja rUpe Avyo hoya to ja thAya. eTale brahmacarya e kaMI mukhya vastu nathI. ene mukhya mAnIe to AtmAnuM mukhyapaNuM jatuM rahe. mukhya vastu to AtmA che, bIjuM kazuM to mukhya che ja nahIM. bIjA A badhA to saMyoga che ane saMyogo pAchAM viyogI svabhAvanA che. AtmA ne saMyogo be ja che, bIjuM kazuM che ja nahIM jagatamAM ! eTale mukhyapaNuM badhuM eka mAtra AtmAmAM AvI gayuM, bIjA badhAne saMyoga kahI dIdhA. saMyogane sAro-khoTo karavA jazo to, te buddhi vAparI ane buddhi vAparI mATe AtmA cheTo gayo. ApaNuM keTaluM sarasa sAyansa che ! brahmacarya vyavahArane AdhIna che ! nizcaya to brahmacArI ja che ne ! AtmA to brahmacArI ja che ne ! ////////// Page #177 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 295 ghAlIe ? nahIM to evuM jo jelamAM ghAlI devAnA thAya to, amAre keTalAM jaNane jelamAM ghAlI devA paDe ? badhAMne ghAlI devAM paDe. [16] lapasatArAMone, UThADI doDAve.... mAthe rAkho jJAtIne, TheTha sudhI paMdara varSa jelamAM ghAlyA hoya to zuM karIza ? 'dAdAnI jelamAM ja chuM', kahIe. kaMI zUrAtana rAkhane ! zUrAtana ! eka avatAra. mokSe javuM che A to. bAkI badhe bhAMgaphoDo AnI A ja cAlI che ne ! 'AmAM zuM sukha che' ane A eka vADa tuM oLaMgIza, A mArA kahyA pramANe, pachI chUTo thaI jaIza. eka ja vADa oLaMgavAnI jarUra che. dAdA hAjara rahe che ke nahIM rahetA tane ? tAre pachI dAdA hAjara rahe che, pachI ApaNane zuM du:kha ? baLyA, AmAM te kyAM evAM sukha hatA, ATaluM badhuM pakaDAI gayo chuM ! dAdA to badhI rIte rakSA kare evAM che A, A Amano mULa ADAIno svabhAva che ne, te chUTato nathI ne ! svapnAmAM Ave, tyArathI kalyANa thaI gayuM. svapnAmAM ema ne ema to koI vastu Ave ke ! eTale A duniyAnuM je thavAnuM hoya te thAya, paNa A dAdAne choDavAnAM nahIM ane dAdAnI AjJA A eka pALI devAnI ane vaza thaI jaze badhuM. ane nahIM to tAre paiNavuM ho to kahene, vAMdho nahIM. karI ApIza pachI rasto. AzAmAM nA rahevAya, tethI ame kaMI ochA jelamAM koIne - tamAre to 'lapasI paDavuM nathI', evuM nakkI karavAnuM ne lapasI paDyA to pachI mAre mApha karavAnuM. tamAruM mahIM vakhate bagaDavA mAMDe ke tarata mane jaNAvo. eTale eno kaMIka ukela Ave ! kaMI ekadama ochuM sudharI ja javAnuM che ? bagaDavAno saMbhava kharo ! A dareka navA makAna bAMdhe, to emAM DiphekTa nIkaLe ke nA nIkaLe ? mArA jevAMne kazuM kAma karavAnuM hoya nahIM, eTale bhUla kADhavAnI hoya kazI ? je badhAM kaMIka kAma kare emanI bhUla nIkaLe. kharAbamAM kharAba kAma thaI gayuM hoya to ApaNe 'dAdAjIne kahI daIe, to mana jANe ke, 'A to bhoLo che, te badhuM kahI de che. mATe have pharI ApaNe karavuM nathI. AnI joDe ApaNane poSAya nahIM.' eTale mana pachI chaTakabArI khoLe nahIM. pahelAM to huM je thayuM hoya te "opana' karI deto. eTale manane zuM thAya mahIM ? mUMjhAyA kare, ane nakkI kare ke pharI ApaNe AvuM karavuM nathI. praznakartA: 'A to ApaNI ja AbarU bahAra paDe che' tema kahIne pachI mana cUpa thaI jAya. dAdAzrI : hA, mana samajI jAya ke A to 'ApaNI AbarU ughADI karI nAkhe che'. bahAranA loko to, evuM jANe ke potAnI AbarU jAya che; jyAre ApaNe jANIe ke A to mananI AbarU jAya che ! je kare, enI AbarU jAya. 'ApaNI' zAnI AbarU jAya ? AvuM kahI daIe to mana TATuM paDI jAya ke nA paDI jAya ? haMmezAM amArI ApelI AjJAmAM ja rahevuM sAruM. potAnA levala upara lIdhuM, te svachaMda upara laI jAya che. A svacchede ja lokone pADI nAkhelA ne ! tethI ja A ame AjJA ApIe chIe ne ?! svachaMda e moTAmAM moTo roga kahevAya ke 'have mane kaMI ja vAMdhA jevuM nathI.' e ja viSa che ! jANo gutAtA phaLane prathama ! praznakartA: 'A kArya khoTuM che, e nathI karavA jevuM.' e ApaNane Page #178 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 296 samajathI prApta brahmacarya khabara che, ema chatAM paNa e thaI jAya che. to ene aTakAvavA mATe zuM prayatna karavo ? zuM puruSArtha karavo ? dAdAzrI : evuM che ne, je gunAnuM zuM phaLa che e jANIe nahIM, tyAM sudhI e gunA thayA kare che. kUvAmAM kema koI paDatuM nathI ? A vakIlo gunA ochA kare che, zAthI ? A gunAnuM A phaLa maLaze, evuM e jANe che. mATe gunAnuM phaLa jANavuM joIe. pahelAM tapAsa karavI joIe ke, gunAnuM phaLa zuM maLaze ? 'A khoTuM karuM chuM, enuM phaLa zuM maLaze ?' e tapAsa karI lAvavI joIe. A duniyAno evo niyama che ke gunAnA phaLane pUruM jANatA hoya to, e guno kare ja nahIM ! guno kare che eTale e gunAnA phaLane pUruM jANato nathI ! A ame narkanuM phaLa jANIe chIe, eTale ame to koI dahADo ya narkanuM phaLa Ave evI vAta to, A zarIra tUTI jAya to ya nA karIe. tame narkanuM svarUpa sAMbhaLyuM, to tamane kevuM lAge have ? mATe karmanuM phaLa zuM ? e jANavAnuM. kAraNa ke guno thAya che to haju 'enuM phaLa zuM ?" e jANyuM ja nathI. mATe prakRti kevI bAbatamAM khoTuM kare che, e ko'kane pUchavuM joIe. jJAnI puruSa hoya tene pUchavuM joIe ke, 'have mAre A jagyAe zuM karavuM ?" ane te uparAMta e prakRtithI thaI jAya to mAphI mAgavI joIe ! je prakRti ApaNane pastAvo karAvaDAve, e prakRtino vizvAsa ja kevI rIte karAya ? praznakartA : pragatimAM rUMdhanArA aMtarAyomAMthI kevI rIte nIkaLAya ? dAdAzrI : e badhuM nIkaLI jaze, kRpAthI badhuM ja nIkaLI jaze. kRpA eTale dAdAjIne rAjI rAkhavA te. dAdA ApaNI pAchaLa je mAthAkuTa kare che, enuM phaLa sAruM Ave, TakA sArA Ave eTale dAdA rAjI ! bIjuM zuM dAdAne joIe ?! dAdA kaMI peMDA khAvA mATe AvyA nathI ! chatAM ya peMDA dharavAnA ne prasAda mUkavAno ! e ya vyavahAra che ne ?! dhaMdhAmAM khUyA ke khoyA khudA ! A to potAnI jAte khoTekhoTo saMtoSa laIne dahADA calAve ! ane samajathI prApta brahmacarya 297 enuM rIjhalTe ya AvyA vagara rahe nahIM ne ! game teTaluM kaheze, 'huM vAMcuM chuM, huM vAMcuM chuM.' paNa cha mahine enuM rIjhalTa to Ave ja ne ? tyAre pola khabara paDI jAya ne ?! tane samajAya che A badhuM ? kaoNlejamAM beThA pachI pAsa to thavuM paDe ne ? je dhaMdho mAMDyo che, e pUrepUro karavo to joIe ne ? 'paiNavuM che" to ema nakkI rAkhavAnuM ane "brahmacarya pALavuM che" to e nakkI rAkhavuM. brahmacarya pALavuM hoya to pachI nizcaya pUrepUro hovo joIe ne ? A to dhaMdhA para dukAnanuM karavA jaIe ne pAchuM phUTabole ya ramavA jaIe, bola-beTe ya ramavA jaIe, to emAM kaMI bhalIvAra thato haze ? bhalIvAra lAvavo che, tyAre rasto to kADhavo paDe ne ? ke AvuM cAle ? polaMpola cAle ?! praznakartA : nA cAle. dAdAzrI : bAkI lokonAM ToLAM jAya che, evuM ToLAmAM rahIe e hisAbe sAruM che ! emAM pachI ApaNe kyAM lakSa rAkhavuM paDe ke, 'koNa AgaLa jAya che ? zAthI e AgaLa jAya che ? huM zAthI ATalo badho pAchaLa rahI gayo ?" bAkI, mokSamArgamAM to niraMtara jAgRta rahevuM paDe ke mArI zI bhUla rahI jAya che ?" evI tapAsa to karavI ja paDe ne ! bAkI, saMsAranI to icchA karavA jevI ja nathI. saMsAra to sahaja svabhAve cAlyA kare evo che. have ATalAM vakhatathI mahenata karI che, emAM mAro ya ATalo badho TAIma gayo che, tAre ya keTalo TAIma gayo che. mATe mane kaMIka saMtoSa thAya evuM kara. ahIM A badhA chokarA che, te kevuM suMdara badhAne Akho dahADo varte che ! ahIM to je coMTI paDyo ne vaLagI paDyo, tenuM cAlyA kare ! e coMTeluM UkhaDe nahIM tyAM sudhI tAre sAruM cAlyA karaze. have kyAre pAchuM UkhaDI jaIza ? praznakartA: have nahIM UkhaDuM. dAdAzrI : tyAre kharuM ! evo coMTI paDe to ja cAle. kAraNa ke ahIM je coMTI rahyo, ene kRpA kAma karyA vagara rahe nahIM evo A karuNAmaya mArga che. kevo mArga che ? potAnuM bagADIne ya paNa karUNAmaya mArga che. potAnI kamANI ochI bhale thAya, paNa ene sAcavIne, enI kamANI zarU Page #179 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 298 samajathI prApta brahmacarya karAvIne, dukAna pharI cAlu karI devaDAvI Ape. A saMsAramAM ya koI bhAIbaMdha hoya, oLakhANavALo hoya, te enuM nA cAlatuM hoya to Amatema karIne cAlu karAvI de. vyavahAramAM ya rAge paDAvI de ! evuM karAvI de che ne ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya 299 praznakartA evo dhaMdhAno bahu moTo vicAra karyo nahoto. dAdAzrI : paNa e to thaI ja javAnuM ane moTI oNphiso te moTuM kAmakAja nA kare to kharco ya nA nIkaLe. nokarI karuM to ThIka che, to ya tane kaMIka avakAza maLe. keTalAMka to evAM puNyazALI hoya che ke dhaMdhA saMbaMdhI kaMI bodharezana ja nahIM. he.... ya.... Akho dahADo dhaMdhA enI meLe cAlyA kare, e puNya kahevAya. have badhuM tAruM rAge paDI jaze ne ? atyAre to tuM bhaNuM chuM, kaoNleja pUrI thaI nathI. eTale atyAre badhA hisAba kADhe to cAlaze ane atyAre karI lIdhuM hoya to te vakhate kAma lAge. pachI kaoNleja pUrI thAya pachI to oNphisa laIne besIza ane oNphisamAM eka miniTanI navarAza nahIM maLe. ApaNe jANIe ke hajI to bahu TAIma che ne pachI A pUruM karI laIzuM ! paNa A kALamAM dhaMdhA badhA evAM che ke eka miniTa navarAza maLe nahIM ane Akho dahADo magajamArI, bhale paisA kamAto hoya paNa ahIMnuM kAma kazuM thAya nahIM. atyAre karyuM hoya to te ghaDIe tyAM beThAM beThAM badho khyAla raheze, te kaMIke ya thoDuM thaze. A to dAdA ya pharI bhegA thAya nahIM evAM badhAM kAmakAja ! atyAre A badhuM tamAre lakSamAM nA hoya ne ? AmAMnuM to kazuM bhAne ya nA hoya ne ? A to kudarata calAve ema cAle che. potAnI jAgRtino eka aMze ya nahIM. ApaNe tyAM ghaNAM oNphisaro darzana karI gayelA. kahe ya kharAM ke A ja karavA jevuM che, paNa kare zI rIte ? dhaMdho e to eka prakAranI jela che. e jelamAM besIne paisA kamAvavA. eTale have tAre zuM karavuM joIe ? tAre dhaMdho cAlu thayA pachI eka miniTano ya TAIma nahIM maLe. praznakartA : pahelAM kAma kADhI levuM paDe. dAdAzrI : hA, pahelAM kAma kADhI levuM paDe, eTale A yAda rAkhaje. eTalAM mATe tane A tAraNa kADhI ApyuM che. pachI pharI pharI ame kahevA AvIe nahIM. ame to pUrepUrI samajaNa pADI chUTIe ke tamAruM ahita nA thAya. A to Aje bhego thayo ane icchA ya che evuM ApaNe jANIe, paNa mohano mAryo pelo nizcaya thAya nahIM ne ? nizcaya rahe nahIM. ame eka-eka evo nizcaya joyA che ke parasenTa Tu parasenTa karekTa. jyAre juo tyAre karekTa. eTale jeTaluM thAya eTaluM karI levuM ! tane khabara che ne, A oNphisa evo dhaMdho che ? praznakartA : hA. dAdAzrI : bahu pagathiyAM paDI jAya pachI koNa pakaDI rAkhe ? pahelAM to eka pagathiyuM paDe pachI bIjAM be thAya, cAra thAya, bAra thAya, ema vadhatAM jAya ! have A gADI kyAM aTake ? pachI ene koNa UbhI rAkhe ne pAchuM koNa pakaDe ? ATale UMce hato, UMcI dazAmAM hato tyAre sIdho nA rahyo, te have paDyA pachI zuM rahe ? lapasyo e lapasyo ! mahIM bharapaTTe sukha paDyuM che ! yAda karatAM ja maLe evuM mahIM navuM sukha hoya che ! jyAM sAMkaLa kheMco tyAM gADI UbhI rahe, eTalI badhI potAnI zaktio che ! paNa jyAM lapaTuM paDyuM tyAM zuM thAya ? tane dAdAnuM nididhyAsana rahe che ke ? praznakartA : A be divasathI to rahe che. dAdAzrI : jene dAdAnuM nididhyAsana rahe, tene badhAM ja tALAM UghaDI jAya. dAdA joDe abhedatA e ja nididhyAsana che !!! bahu puNya hoya tyAre evuM jAge, ane "jJAnI'nA nididhyAsananuM sAkSAt phaLa maLe che. e nididhyAsana, potAnI zakti e pramANe karI Ape, te rUpa karI Ape. kAraNa ke "jJAnI'nuM aciMtya ciMtAmaNi svarUpa che, eTale te rUpa karI nAkhe. 'jJAnI'nuM nididhyAsana nirAlaMba banAve. pachI 'Aje satsaMga thayo nahIM, Aje darzana thayAM nahIM.' evuM kazuM ene nA rahe. jJAna pote nirAlaMba che, evuM pote nirAlaMba thaI javuM paDe, 'jJAnI'nA nididhyAsanathI. eka dhyeya, eka ja bhAva ! ApaNe AMgaNAmAM jhADa ucheryuM hoya, roja khAtara-pANI nAkhIe Page #180 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 301 300 samajathI prApta brahmacarya ne have kansTrakazanavALAno orDara maLe ke A jhADane kApI nAkho ne tyAM AgaLa pAyA khodavA mAMDo to ? alyA, te A choDavo ucheryo'to zuM karavA ? jo ucherIza to kApIza nahIM, to pelAne kahI de ke kansTrakazanavALAe makAnanI jagyA badalavI joIe. ApaNe jene jAte ucherIe ane ene pachI ApaNe kApIe to zuM thayuM kahevAya ? potAnA chokarAnI hiMsA karyA barAbara che. paNa ApaNA loka kazuM samajatAM nathI ne kaheze, 'kApI nAkho ne !' meM koI vakhata A bhUla karI nathI. amane to tarata vicAra Ave ke jo ucheryuM che to kApIza nahIM ne kApavAnuM hoya to ucherIza nahIM. jeNe jagata kalyANanA nimitta banavAno bhekha lIdho che, ene jagatamAM koNa AMtarI zake ? koI zakti nathI ke ene AMtarI zake. AkhA brahmAMDanA sarva devaloko enI para phUla varasAvI rahyAM che. eTale e eka dhyeya nakkI karo ne ! jyArathI A nakkI karo tyArathI ja A zarIranI jarUriyAtanI ciMtA karavAnI rahetI nathI. jyAM sudhI saMsArIbhAva che tyAM sudhI jarUriyAtanI ciMtA karavI paDe. juone, A 'dAdA'ne kevI jAhojalAlI che ! A eka ja prakAranI icchA rahe to pachI eno ukela AvI gayo. ane devasattA tamArI joDe che. A devo to sattAdhIza che, e niraMtara helpa Ape evI emane sattA che. AvAM eka ja dhyeyavALA pAMcanI ja jarUra ! bIjo koI dhyeya nahIM, adabadavALo nahIM ! aDacaNamAM eka ja dhyeya ne UMghamAM paNa eka ja dhyeya !! samajathI prApta brahmacarya saMpUrNa nIrogI puruSa che. emanAM AdhAre je roga kADhavA hoya, te jatA raheze, emanAmAM koI paNa roga nathI, saMsArano eka paNa roga emanAmAM nathI. eTale je je roga tamAre kADhavA hoya te nIkaLI jaze. eTalAM mATe ame tamane kahIe chIe ke pachI potAnI meLe tame pola mArazo to tamane mAra paDaze. ame tamane cetavI daIe. atyAre roga nIkaLaze, pachI nahIM nIkaLe. jo mArAmAM saheja paNa pola hota to tamAro roga nA nIkaLe. hiMmata Ave che kAMI ? praznakartA : hA, pUrepUrI hiMmata Ave che. dAdAzrI : 'dAdA'nI AjJA tamAre nathI paLAtI barobara ? ApaNo AjJA pALavAno dharma che. pachI je mAla nIkaLe tene, ApaNe zI levAdevA ? kaoNlejanA chellA varSamAM bhaNato hoya ane kaMIka laheramAM paDI gayo ne nApAsa thayo, to AkhuM varSa udAsIna rahyA kare to zo phAyado thAya ? bIjI sAla zuM thAya ? pahele naMbare pAsa thAya ? AvuM DIprezana thAya to sAta varSa sudhI e pAsa nA thAya. eTale ApaNe nApAsa thayA, e bhUlI javAnuM ane navesarathI ne navI rIte pharI taiyArI karavAnI. je karma thaI gayAM che, tene melone pULo ! ekano eka chokaro marI jAya to kAyama raDavAnuM ? mera cakkara, be dahADA raDavuM hoya to raDa ne pachI bajAramAM kulphI khA. eTale ApaNe nApAsa thayA to navesarathI vAMcavAnuM zarU karI devAnuM, peluM badhuM bhUlI javAnuM. eTale navesarathI ApaNe AjJAmAM raho barobara ! ApaNe kahIe, 'caMdraza, A to bahu UMdhuM karyuM." ATaluM ApaNe kahI devuM, basa. pachI pAchuM ApaNe AjJAmAM ja rahevuM. pachI ApaNe zA mATe cUkIe ? ane "caMdreza" to ApaNo pADozI che ne ? pharsTa naMbara, phAIla naMbara vana che ne ? ane nAdArI ya caMdrazanI gaI ne ? 'tArI' to nAdArI nathI ne ? ke beue sAthe nAdArI kADhI che ? caMdreza nAdAra thaI jAya, temAM ApaNe zI levAdevA ? paNa ame A kahIe chIe, te tamane pAchAM pharavA mATe. pachI eno durupayoga nA thavo joIe ke dAdAjI ema kahetA hatA ke nAdArIno vAMdho nathI. A to ahIMthI bacAvavA jAya to Ama lapasI paDe, to Ano kyAM pAra Ave ? ApaNe kahI devuM, 'caMdreza je vATe vahyA, vadhAvyA te ja vATe! 'dAdA' je raste gayA che, e ja rasto tamane batAvyo che. e ja raste 'dAdA' tamArAthI AgaLa che. kaMI rasto jaDaze ke nahIM jaDe ? praznakartA : jaDaze. dAdAzrI : so TakA ? nakkI ? praznakartA : hA, so e so TakA nakkI ! dAdAzrI : 'dAdA' to badhA roga kADhavA AvyA che. kAraNa ke 'dAdA' Page #181 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 303 302 samajathI prApta brahmacarya nAdAra thaI gayo che, have pharI nAdAra nA thaIza ! tamane kahyuM chene, phAIla naMbara vana, pharsTa nebara che. to ApaNe AjJAmAM rahevuM e ja dharma che. dAdA' kahetAM ja dAdA hAjara !!! praznakartA : ApanI hAjarImAM A badhuM ekadama cokhkhuM thaI jAya evA badhAMne ArzIvAda Apajo. dAdAzrI : AzIrvAda ame evAM ApIe chIe. paNa A to cokhkhuM kare to ne ! praznakartA : cokhkhuM karI nAkhIzuM. ApaNe to ApaNuM kAma kADhI levAnuM che. AnI pUrNAhuti mATe ja zarIra ghasI nAkhavAnuM che ! jo A karmo khapAvelAM hota ne A jJAna maLe to eka kalAkamAM ja enuM kAma pUrNa thaI jAya. paNa A to karma khapAvelAM nathI, raste jatAMne jJAna ApyuM che ! eTale mahIM karmanA udaya phare che tyAre buddhinuM ajavALuM pheravI de che, te ghaDIe gUMcAya. have gUMcAya tyAre 'dAdA' 'dAdA' karyA karavuM ne kahIe, 'A lazkara gUMcavavA AvyuM che.' kAraNa ke haju evAM gUMcavanArA mahIM beThA che, mATe cetatA rahejo. ne te vakhate 'jJAnI puruSa'no Azaro jabarajasta rAkhajo. muzkelI to kaI ghaDIe Ave, te kahevAya nahIM ! paNa te ghaDIe 'dAdA'nI sahAya mAgajo, sAMkaLa kheMcajo to 'dAdA' hAjara thaI jaze ! have to eka paLa gumAvavA jevI nathI. Avo avasara pharI pharI nahIM Ave, eTale kAma kADhI levuM joIe. eTale ahIM jo jAgRti rAkhI to badhAM karmo bhasmIbhUta pAmaze ne eka avatArI thaIne mokSe cAlyo jaIza. mokSa to saraLa che, sahaja che, sugama che. dhyeyIte dhare hAtha dAdA sadA ! huM tamane helpa karuM chuM, bAkI DisIjhana tamAre levAnuM. tamAre badhAMe phAdhara-madhara ane chokarAMoe samAdhAnakAraka thaIne DisIjhana levAnuM. tamAre badhAMne samAdhAnakAraka Ave evuM tame DisIjhana lo, pachI ame helpa karIe. tame je lAInamAM ho, e lAInamAM helpa karIe. eka paiNyA hoya to ya amane vAMdho nathI ane nA paiNo to ya vAMdho nathI. paNa tamAruM badhAnuM DisIjhana samAdhAnapUrvakanuM hovuM joIe. nahIM to pachI badhAMnI amArA taraphanI bUma Ave ane je mANasane amArA mATe bUma Ave, to e mANasane amArA mATe abhAva Ave to enuM avaLuM thAya. eTalAM mATe huM A kazAmAM paDato nathI. sAmAnuM avaLuM thAya, emAM javAbadArI mArI che. mArA para saheja abhAva Ave to ene zuM thAya ? eTale ame amuka kAyadesara ja rAkhIe. kAyadesaranI bahAra ame paDIe nahIM. kAyadAnI bahAra ame cAlIe nahIM. enAM je laoN e laoN, emAM ja rahevuM paDe. mana-vacana-kAyA, bhAvakarma-dravyakarma-nokarma; badhuM dAdAne arpaNa karIne 'huM anaMta zaktivALo chuM, huM anaMta brahmacarya zaktivALo chuM" evuM badhuM ApaNe bolAya. kAraNa ke A viSayamAMthI pAra nIkaLavuM, A uMmara pasAra karavI e badhuM bahu vahayuM che. dAdA to, tamAre Ama javuM hoya to Ama madada kare ane Ama paiNavuM hoya to paiNavAmAM madada kare. dAdAne kazuM AmAM levAdevA nahIM. tame tamAre nakkI karo ! tamArAmAM zuM mAla bharelo hoya e ? huM kyAM UMDo UtaruM ane mane evo TAIme ya nA hoya. eTale tamArI dukAnano mAla tamAre jANavAno. eTale badhAMe potAnI meLe samajI levAnuM. huM zuM kahuM chuM ke paiNajo, to ya ApaNo kaMI mokSa jAya evo nathI. nA paiNavuM hoya to A nizcaya majabUta karo ane AmAM sTroMga raho. bemAMthI eka taraphanI ekjhakTanesa upara AvI javuM joIe. nahIM to bAkI badhI to athaDAmaNa thaze. vicAro Ave, te vicAro badhA jovAM. vicAra to kharAM-khoTAM Ave ja ! je bharyA che e Ave, ne Ave che to e eTalAM jatAM rahe, cokhuM karIne jAya che. eTale vicAra kharAba Ave to gabharAvuM nahIM. A pahelAM to brahmacarya nahotuM, jJAna nahotuM tyAre dareka kharAba vicAra joDe tanmayAkAra thaIne te pramANe karato hato ne ? atyAre tanmayAkAra thAya nahIM ane kharAba vicAra Ave eTaluM ja. paNa te ApaNe jovA ne jANavA. kharAba ne sAruM-khoTuM bhagavAnane tyAM nathI. e badhuM DiscArja thayA kare che. Page #182 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 304 samajathI prApta brahmacarya e badho manano svabhAva che. tamAre badhAMe to roja bhegA maLIne ekAda kalAka brahmacaryasaMbaMdhI satsaMga rAkhavo. ApaNe to mokSa sAthe kAma che ne ? ane tamAre paiNavuM ema jabarajastI ya ame nA karIe. amAre koI jAtano Agraha nA hoya. kAraNa ke tamAre gayA avatAramAM brahmacaryano bhAva bharelo hoya to "paiNo" evuM dabANa paNa amArAthI karAya nahIM ne ! eTale amAre to 'Ama ja karo' evuM kazuM bolAya nahIM. tamArI majabUtI joIe. ame vAre ghaDIe tamane vidhi karI ApIzuM ane amAruM vacanabaLa kAma Apaze, helpa karaze ! eTale Ama javuM hoya to Ama, e nakkI tamAre karavAnuM. praznakartA : e nakkI to karI ja lIdhuM che. dAdAzrI : hA, nakkI karyuM che ane vrate ya lIdhuM che. paNa vratamAM bhaMga thayo hoya to ApaNe pazcAttApa levo paDe. ApaNe ahIM eka-eka kalAka pratikramaNa kare che. manano saheja phera thayo hoya, moDhA para nahIM paNa vicArathI, ane bIjuM kazuM karyuM nA hoya paNa vartanamAM saheja Taca thayo hoya ane Tacano AnaMda thayo hoya, Ama hAtha aDADavAmAM evuM thAya to tamAre eka kalAka enuM pratikramaNa karavuM paDe. eTale AvuM tevuM badhuM karazo to Ama AgaLa phAvazo ane jo AmAMthI tarI pAra UtaryA ane 35-37 varSa thaI gayA to tamAruM kAma thaI gayuM. eTale A dasa-paMdara varSa dukALanAM kADhavAnAM che ! ane A ApaNuM jJAna che, tethI A badhuM kahuM ne ! nahIM to brahmacarya pALavAnuM koIne ya nA kahuM. A brahmacarya to kaLiyugamAM karavA jevI cIja na hoya. A kaLiyugamAM badhe jyAM ne tyAM vicAro ja melA ane tamAruM to ToLuM ja juduM eTale cAle. tame badhAM to eka vicAranAM ane tame badhAM joDe raho to tamane badhAne ema ja lAge ke ApaNI duniyA A ATalI, bIjI ApaNI duniyA na hoya, paiNanArI duniyA ApaNI na hoya. A dArUDiyA be-traNa hoya, te joDe besIne pIve ne pachI ApaNe to traNa ja chIe, have koI che ja nahIM, evuM badhuM jANe ! jema jema potAne caDhato jAya ne tema tema pachI zuM bole ? huM, tuM, tuM ApaNe traNa ja jaNa; basa, A duniyAnA mAlika ja ApaNe badhA. samajathI prApta brahmacarya 305 jJAtI maTADe anaMtakALatA rogo tame cokhkhA cho to koI nAma denAra nathI ! AkhI duniyA sAmI thaze to ya huM ekalo chuM. mane khabara che ke tame cokhkhA cho, to huM game tene pahoMcI vaLuM evo chuM. mane so TakAnI khAtarI thavI joIe. tamArAthI to jagatane nA pahoMcI vaLAya, eTale mAre tamAruM uparANuM levuM paDe che. mATe manamAM kazuM ya gabharAzo nahIM, jarA ya gabharAzo nahIM. ApaNe cokhkhA chIe, to duniyAmAM koI nAma denAra nathI ! A dAdAnI vAta duniyAmAM game te koI karatuM haze to A dAdo duniyAne pahoMcI vaLe. kAraNa ke bilakula cokhkho mANasa che, jenuM mana saheja paNa bagaDeluM nathI. ApaNe cokhkhA rahevuM. ApaNe cokhkhA chIe to tamAre mATe A dAdA duniyAne pahoMcI vaLaze. paNa tame mahIM melA hoya, to huM kema karIne pahoMcI vaLuM ? nahIM to pachI paiNo. bemAMthI eka DisIjhana tamArI meLe laI lo ! huM AmAM vacce helpa karIza ne paiNazo to emAM ya tamane helpa karIza. helpa karavI e mArI pharaja che. pachI jo tamAro nizcaya nahIM DagI jAya evuM haze to huM tamane vANInuM vacanabaLa ApIza. A satsaMgamAM rahezo to tame pahoMcI vaLazo, enI so TakAnI geranTI ! dAdA che tyAM sudhImAM badhA ja roga nIkaLI jaze ! kAraNa ke dAdAmAM koI roga nathI ! mATe jene je roga kADhavA hoya te nIkaLaze. mArAmAM pola hota to tamAruM kAma nA thAta ! viSayadoSa thavo e moTAmAM moTI jokhamadArI che ! badhA aNuvrata, badhA mahAvrata tUTe che !! karoDo avatAre ya viSaya chuTe evo nathI. A to eka jJAnI puruSa pAse emanI AjJAmAM rahevAthI chUTe tema che. ane amane jo viSayano jarAka vicAra Avato hoya to ya tamAro viSaya nA chuTe. paNa jJAnI puruSane viSayano vicAra paNa kyAre ya nathI Avato. mATe jevuM brahmacarya pALavuM hoya evuM pALI zakAze. sAco bhAva che ne ! sAcuM nimitta ane sAco bhAva, e be jo bhegA thAya to A jagatamAM koI ene toDanAra nathI. bhayaMkara kRpAne pAtra thavAya evuM che. tame tamAre ghera raho ane dAdA emane ghera rahe, to ya tamAre kRpA rahyA kare evuM ja che, paNa tAra joDatAM Page #183 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 306 samajathI prApta brahmacarya AvaDavuM joIe ! eka ja vAramAM saheja bhUla hoya, to paMkhAne dabAva dabAva karo to ya paMkho nA phare. mATe phayujha badalI lo ! tAramAM to bahu bagaDI javAnuM nathI, ko'ka phero saDI jAya che, paNa phayujha badalavo paDe. A to kAma kADhI levA jevo avasara Avyo che. A pataMgano dora tamane hAthamAM soMpyo ! have pataMga gulAMTa khAya to Ama dora kheMcajo. A to pataMgano dora hAthamAM nahoto, tyAM sudhI pataMga gulAMTa khAya to ApaNe zuM karavAnA hatA ? A to have pataMgano dora hAthamAM Avyo pachI vAMdho nahIM. Page #184 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ [17] aMtima avatAramAM ya brahmacarya to Avazyaka ! tIDyAM vitAnAM khetaro ! brahmacaryane to AkhA jagate 'eksepTa' karyuM che. brahmacarya vagara to koI dahADo AtmA prApta thAya ja nahIM. brahmacaryanI viruddha je hoya, te mANasane AtmA koI dahADo ya prApta thAya nahIM. viSaya sAme to niraMtara jAgRta rahevuM paDe, eka kSaNavAra paNa ajAgRti cAle nahIM. praznakartA : brahmacaryane ane mokSane sATuM-sahiyAruM keTaluM ? dAdAzrI : bahu levAdevA che. brahmacarya vagara to AtmAno anubhava ja khabara nA paDe ne ! 'AtmAmAM sukha che ke viSayamAM sukha che" e khabara ja nA paDe ne ?! praznakartA : to pachI abrahmacArIo mokSe gayelA, te kevI rIte ? je je mokSe gayelA e kaMI brahmacArIo nahotA. dAdAzrI : evo koI niyama nathI. brahmacarya potAne hovuM joIe. ane "e jarUrI che', ema emAM e 'pojhiTiva' hovo joIe. brahmacarya mATe koI dahADo 'negeTiva' thAya ane AtmA prApta thAya, e vAta ja 308 samajathI prApta brahmacarya khoTI che. ene viSaya to ghaNo ya nA gamato hoya, chatAM karavo paDato hoya, to AtmA prApta thAya. bAkI je viSayanA taraphI hoya, tene AtmA prApta thaI zake ja nahIM. viSaya sAme to niraMtara jAgRta rahevuM paDe ane AtmA prApta thayA sivAya jAgRti ja nA Ave. jainanA sAdhuone jAgRti nahIM rAkhavAnI ane brahmacarya rahe. kAraNa ke e ekalA ja ghauM cokhkhA karIne lAvelA hatA. evAM ghauM khetaramAM vAvyA pachI emane khetaramAM nIMdavAnuM kazuM rahe nahIM ne ! jyAre A badhA chokarAo'e to badhuM anAja bheguM karIne nAkheluM hatuM. eTale Amane have to ghauM ekalAM rahevA devAnA ane bIjuM badhuM nIMdI nAkhavAnuM. te nIMdI nIMdIne have dama nIkaLI jAya. Amane roja pAchuM nIMdavuM paDe, nahIM to pachI ghauM bheguM bIjuM badhuM ya UgI nIkaLe. kodarA thAya, eraMDA thAya, badhuM thAya. AmaNe AtmA prApta karyo eTale jAgRti UbhI thaI gaI. eTale have niraMtara jAgRta rahI zake. praznakartA: amArA jevAne jaladI nA nIMdAya. kAraNa ke ame dharo (ghAsa) laIne AvyA hoIe. dAdAzrI : tamAre nIMdavAnI jarUra ja nathI. tamAre kaMI bombe senTrala javuM nathI. tamAre to mAunTa Abu pharavA javuM che ne ? jene bombe senTrala javuM che, tenI vAta judI che. mAunTa Abu jene pharavA javuM hoya tene kazuM nIMdavAnI jarUra nathI. praznakartA: keTaluMka nIMdAmaNa evuM hoya che ke enAM mATe sakhata parizrama karavo paDe, to e nIMdAmaNane zuM karIe ? dAdAzrI : enAM karatAM nIMdavAnuM ja rahevA devAnuM ne mahIM je pAkyuM te kharuM. bahu nIMdAmaNa hoya tyAre kyAM mAthAkUTa karIe ? nIMdavAnI paNa hada hovI joIe. praznakartA : chatAM ya nIMdavuM hoya to zuM karavuM ? dAdAzrI : kheDI nAkhavuM, ukheDI nAkhavuM. pachI pharI DAMgaranA choDavA ropI AvavA. A tyAgIo brahmacarya pALe che, te pahelAM cokhkhuM karIne lAvelA che. Page #185 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 309 eTale emane nIMdavuM paDatuM nathI. eTale UMghamAM ya brahmacarya cAlyA kare che. tUra jhaLake brahmacaryanuM ! sAcuM brahmacarya to enuM nAma kahevAya ke moDhA para jabarajasta nUra hoya. brahmacArI puruSa to kevo hoya ? A chokarAomAM kyAM teja dekhAya che? kAraNa ke A badhA "ovara DrAphaTavALA' che. eTale jeTalI benkoe dhIreluM eTaluM badhuM ya laIne AvelA che. te atyAre je brahmacarya pALe che, te UlaTuM benkomAM bharI bharIne thAke che. haju to benkomAM 'pAra velyu" nathI thaI. "pAra velyu thayA pachI moDhAM para lAITa Avaze. e lAITa AvatAM AvatAM to ghaNo TAIma leze. chatAM ya Amane covIse ya kalAka jAgRti rahe che. kAraNa ke AtmA prApta thayo che, eTale AtmAnI jAgRtivALA che. pAchuM A brahmacarya mATenI paNa jAgRti joIe. vakhate AtmAnI bAbatamAM jAgRti nA hoya ane jarA jhokuM AvI jAya to cAle, paNa brahmacarya mATe to jarA ya jhokuM khAya to cAle ja nahIM ne ! cogaradama sApa pesI gayelA dIThA, temane UMgha Ave nahIM. jemaNe nathI joyA, te UMghI jAya. sApa joI lIdhA pachI zI rIte UMghe ? - A chokarAo dIkSA levAnI bhAvanAvALA che. potAno mokSa to mahIM thaI gayelo hoya. eTale e to khoLavAnI icchA ja nA hoya ne ?! potAno mokSa thayo hoya to jagatakalyANa karavAnI bhAvanA thAya, nahIM to potAnuM ja kalyANa nA thayuM hoya, tyAM jagatakalyANa karavAnI bhAvanA zI rIte thAya ? eTale A brahmacArIo badhA zuM kahe che ke, 'amAruM to kalyANa thaI gayuM, have amAre jagatanuM kalyANa karavuM che, to amAre zuM karavuM joIe ?" tyAre meM emane kahyuM, 'have paiNI lo. tyAre e kahe che ke, "nA, amAre paiNavuM to che ja nahIM. jagatanuM kalyANa karavA mATe paiNavAthI vacce harakata thAya evuM che.' tyAre meM temane kahyuM ke, 'to tuM brahmacarya pALa, to tuM jagatanuM kalyANa karI zakIza." bemAM kayuM UMcuM? praznakartA : AvaDAM chokarA brahmacaryamAM zuM samajI zake ? brahmacarya 310 samajathI prApta brahmacarya to amuka uMmara pachI Ave ne ? dAdAzrI : nA, A loko to brahmacaryanuM kharuM samajI gayA che ! evuM che ne, ke A to ApaNane evuM lAge che, paNa tera varSa pachI e brahmacaryanuM samajato thAya. kAraNa ke tera varSano thAya, tyArathI Imozanala thayA vagara rahe ja nahIM. pachI e mozanamAM rahI zake nahIM. praznakartA: have be prakAranAM brahmacarya che. eka, apariNita brahmacarya dazA ne bIjo paraNIne pALato hoya, temAM UMcuM karyuM? dAdAzrI : paraNIne pALe te UMcuM kahevAya. paNa paraNIne pALavuM muzkela che. ApaNe tyAM keTalAMka paraNIne brahmacarya pALe che, paNa te cAlIsa varSa pachInA che. praznakartA : to pachI paraNyA vagaranuM brahmacarya paLAya che, te 'anaTesTeDa' thayuM nA kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : nA. e 'anaTesTeDa' nathI. ene potAne ja paiNavAmAM ruci nA hoya, tene koI zuM karI zake ? paiNavAmAM ja ruci nA hoya, tene ApaNAthI jabarajastI kema karAya ? jabarajastI karAya kharI ? huM to darekane zuM kahuM chuM ke tame be paiNo, mokSane mATe tamane vAMdho Avaze nahIM. mAruM jJAna ApeluM che, te jJAna ja tane mokSe laI jAya evuM che, paNa khAlI amArI AjJA pALaje. A paiNavuM e to jokhama ja che ne ! paNa chellAM avatAramAM chellAM dasa-paMdara varSa sudhI juduM rahevuM paDe; tyAre A loko pahelethI rahe che, AmAM zuM khoTuM kare che ?! jenAthI pahelethI juduM nA rahevAya, tenA mATe A rasto che ke paiNo. bIjuM zuM thAya ? ane evo kAyado hoya ja nahIM ke paiNelAno mokSa nA thAya ane nA pahelAno mokSa thAya. UlaTuM A cAritravALAno mokSa thAya. paiNelAne ya chevaTe dasa-paMdara varSa choDavuM paDaze. badhAMthI mukta thavuM paDaze. mahAvIra svAmI paNa chellAM beMtAlIsa varSa mukta thayA hatA ne ! A saMsAramAM strI sAthe to pAra vagaranI upAdhi che. joDuM thayuM ke upAdhi vadhe. benAM mana zI rIte eka thAya ? keTalI vAra mana eka thAya ? Page #186 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 311 cAlone, kaDhI beune sarakhI bhAvI, paNa pachI zAkamAM zuM ? tyAM mana eka thAya nahIM ne dahADo vaLe nahIM. matabheda hoya tyAM sukha hoya nahIM. jenA viSaya chUTyA, ene majhA ! e AnaMda paNa evo ja lUMTavAno hoya ne ?! e ya apAra AnaMda !! e AnaMda to duniyAe cAkhyo ja nA hoya, evo AnaMda utpanna thaI jAya. pAMtrIsa varSano pIriyaDa kADhI nAkhe tyAre apAra AnaMda utpanna thAya. vicAraka hoya, tene to viSaya game ja nahIM ne ? A brahmacArIone udaya Avyo che, e ja dhanyabhAgya kahevAya ne ? pAMsarI rIte pAra pADavuM paDe. pahelAM potAnI jAta para zraddhA hovI joIe. bAkI, viSayanI jarUriyAta to je sukhI hoya, tene hoya ja nahIM. bahu mAnasika mahenatavALAne viSayanI jarUriyAta che. bahu mahenata karatA hoya, tene bahu baLatarA UbhI thAya. te sahana thAya nahIM, tethI viSayamAM paDe che. huM A badhA chokarAone samajaNa pADuM chuM ke paiNyA pachI phasAmaNa thAya. pAchAM atyAranA chokarAo evAM che ke vahu AgaLa emano jarA ya 'oN' nathI paDato. 'oN' paDe, tene to pote kazuM nA bole to ya vahune gabharAmaNa thaI jAya. A to ene badale vahuno 'oN' paDe che. paNa jenA manamAM evA bhAva hoya ke mAre lagna sivAya cAle evuM ja che, evuM jenuM sTroMga mAInDa hoya tyAre enAthI brahmacarya pALI zakAya. AmAM uparachalluM nA cAle. 'A saMsAramAM to duHkha che, tethI mAre nathI paiNavuM.' evuM bhayanA mAryA bole to, evuM nA cAle. cAritrabaLathI phaphaDe strIo ! atyAre to A zAthI paiNavAnuM nA kahe che ? bhAgeDuM vRtti, bhAgI chUTo, nahIM to phasAyA ! praznakartA : evuM ja hovuM joIe ne ! A viSayasaMbaMdhI ane A saMsArasaMbaMdhathI, strIsaMbaMdhathI to bhAgeDuM vRtti ja hovI jarUrI che ne ? dAdAzrI : eTale kAle strI hAthamAM hAtha jhAle to kaMI raDI paDavAnuM ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : paNa game tema chaTakabArI zodhIne jatuM rahevAnuM, chaTakabArI zodhIne nAsI to javAnuM ne ? 312 dAdAzrI : nA, paNa hAtha jhAle to zuM thaI gayuM ? ulaTI e gabharAya ApaNAthI. eTale hAtha jhAlatAM ene gabharAmaNa thAya, ene phaTAkA mAre. A to Ane phaTAkA mAre. 'have zuM thaze, have zuM thaze ?' alyA, zuM thavAnuM ? praznakartA : 'mane kazuM nahIM thAya.' evuM nIDara to nA thaI javAya ne, strI hAtha pakaDe to ? dAdAzrI : e to cAritrabaLa joIe. Ama AvuM nA cAle. koI hAtha jhAle to Ama phaTAkA mAre ! e to cAritrabaLa joIe. jotAM ja bicArIne gabharAmaNa thaI jAya. bena jANe ke mAthAno ko'ka maLyo. praznakartA : eTale emane cAritrabaLa nahIM hoya ? A bhAgeDuM vRttivALAne. dAdAzrI : zAnuM cAritrabaLa hoya ? cAritrabaLavALAM hotA haze ? AvAM hoya A to ? praznakartA : to Apa eka bAju kaho cho ke hAtha pakaDe, tyAM raDavAnuM nahIM ne ! dAdAzrI : zI rIte rahe te ? Amane to mahIM phaTAkA mAre, Ama gabharAmaNa thaI jAya. praznakartA : eka bAju cAritrabaLa nathI AvyuM ane bIjI bAju emanI A bhAgeDuM vRtti che to barAbara che ? dAdAzrI : koNa nA pADe che ? paNa jo bhAgeDuM vRtti vagara hoya ne, tyAre kharuM kahevAya. praznakartA : to A bhAgeDuM vRttivALAne potAne khabara kemanI paDe ke A cAritrabaLa AvyuM ? Page #187 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 314 samajathI prApta brahmacarya 313 dAdAzrI : hAtha jhAle eTale ! ApaNe ekalAM hoIe ne hAtha jhAle tyAre phaTAkA nA mAre to jANavuM ke cAritrabaLa AvyuM. A to phaTAka, phaTAka, phaTAka... ta thAya dabANa brahmacaryamAM.... A badhA chokarAo brahmacArI rahevAnA. meM temane kahyuM ke paiNo. tyAre chokarAo kahe che ke, "nA, amAre brahmacArI rahevuM che.' have, amArAthI emane paiNavA mATe dabANa paNa nA karAya. kAraNa ke emaNe pUrve bhAvanA bhAvelI hoya. dabANa karavuM te ya guno che ane paiNato hoya tene nA paiNavAnuM kahe te ya guno che. praznakartA : tamane evuM lAge ke Ane paiNavAnI jarUra che. to tame ene kaho ? dAdAzrI : khuzIthI. huM to ene kahyuM ke tuM be paiNa. praznakartA : nA, ema nahIM. tamane jJAnadraSTithI dekhAya ? tame juo ke Ane paiNavAnI jarUra che evuM ? dAdAzrI : nA, jJAnadraSTithI huM kazuM jouM nahIM. evo vakhata huM bagADuM nahIM ane jJAnadraSTi evI vAparavA jevI paNa nathI. eno artha zuM thayo ke bhaviSya jovAnI Teva paDI ane bhaviSya jovAnI jene Teva paDe, e to bAvo kahevAya. pachI ahIM paNa loka pUchavA Ave ke mAre chokarAne ghera chokaro thaze ke nahIM thAya ? eTale e bhAMjagaDamAM ame paDIe nahIM. mane to loka pUchavA Ave to huM kahuM ke bhaviSyanuM to huM jANato ja nathI. 'kAle mAruM ja zuM thaze ?" e huM jANato nathI ne ! rAjA-rANItA chUTAcheDA, paiNatAM pahelAM ! eka bhaI Avelo kahe che, 'huM paiNIza nahIM." pachI be-traNa varSa brahmacarya pALyuM. pachI eka dA'Do choDIne laI Ayo. tyAre kahe, 'dAdAjI, amAre benA lagna thAya evI A tame vidhi karI Apo.' 'alyA, samajathI prApta brahmacarya brahmacarya levAnuM hatuM. A zuM karuM chuM tuM ?" tyAre e lokoe zuM kahyuM? praznakartA : dAdAjInA bolatAMnI sAthe ja te ja kSaNe kahe che, "tame kaho to AjathI chUTA." dAdAzrI: tame pharI have beunI brahmacaryanI vidhi karI Apo.' kahe che. 'le, alyA, mUA paiNa caDeluM UtarI zI rIte gayuM ?" ke dA'DAnuM paiNa caDeluM hoya. ApaNe cA pIvAno vicAra karIne gayA hoya to ya cAno vicAra ekadama baMdha nA thaI jAya ane A to kahe che, "amane brahmacaryanI vidhi karI Apo.' 'beu kharAM phUTI gayA.' meM kahyuM, 'have nathI paiNavuM ? alyA, paiNone ! mane vAMdho nathI. mAre zo vAMdho hoya ?" tame to pahelAM nA kahI gayelA. eTale tamane cetavuM ke 'bhAI, nA kaheto hato, vaLI pAcho vepAra zuM karavA mAMDe che ?" paNa chatAM ame vAMdho kazo nA karIe. ko'kanI choDIne bhAgya khIlyuM hoya bicArInuM, eNe che te pIpaLA pUjyA hoya. Avo bhaNelo dhaNI kyAMthI maLe ? keTalAMya pIpaLA pUjyA hoya ! praznakartA : ahIM to AkhuM chUTavAnuM vijJAna zIkhavAnuM che ane pachI peluM pharI phasAmaNamAM to javAya ja nahIM ne ! e to A Akho paricaya keLavIne pelAmAMthI kAyamanI mukti maLe evI ArAdhanA ahIM mAMgIe chIe. dAdAzrI : A badhuM samajI gayelAM che loko. bahu pAkAM thaI gayA che, hoM ! huM to nANuM-tapAsI jouM, kAcA che ke nahIM ?! nathI nIkaLatA kAcA. A ya kAco nahIM paDato. 'kAco che', khabara paDe to, tarata ahIM AgaLa pelA jainanI choDI hoya to vaLagADI daIe ! praznakartA : ahIM to viSayanuM to kharuM, e bAju to javA jevuM ja nathI. paNa bIjA kaMI doSo thatA hoya mokSamArgane bAdhaka, tyAMthI bhUlecUke e doSomAM slIpa nA thavAya, e AkhuM majabUta karI levAnuM che. dAdAzrI : tyAM to doSa cAle ja nahIM ne ! popAbAInuM kaMI rAja evuM che ?! tamArA jevA moTI uMmaranAne sephasAIDa thaI gaI. kAraNa ke tamane koI harakata karanAruM rahyuM nahIM ne ! Amane to haju keTalAM jokhamo Avaze ?! Page #188 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 315 praznakartA : e to khabara nathI. paNa AmAM rahevuM che, A jJAnamAMAjJAmAM, A sAyansamAM ja rahevA jevuM che ! dAdAzrI : to rahevAze. praznakartA : e kevAM kevAM jokhamo Ave ? dAdAzrI : emane dasa mAIlano rasto bAkI rahyo. tamAre A sAtaso mAIla bAkI che. keTalA bahAravaTiyA maLaze, keTalAM badhA phasAvanArA maLaze ! praznakartA : to emAM sephasAIDano rasto kaI rIte kADhavo ? A temAM jokhamo sAme Ave ? dAdAzrI : e to A satsaMgamAM paDI rahe to cAle, kusaMgamAM pese nahIM to cAle. praznakartA : eka ja upAya che. dAdAzrI : AnI A ja vAto maLyA kare, jyAM jAya tyAM. kusaMganI vAta ja nA Ave. to chUTako tarata thaI jAya. praznakartA : A moTAmAM moTo upAya ja A che, satsaMganuM anusaMdhAna AkhuM ! dAdAzrI : satsaMganA bhIDAmAM rahevuM paDe. bhIDo ! bhIDa vAge tyAM chUTavuM hoya to ya nA chUTAya. vratanI vidhithI, tUTe aMtarAyo ! A chokarAne brahmacaryanA bhAva che. A bhAva to khoTo nathI ne ? evA bhAvavALAne ApaNe zuM karavuM ? ApaNe ene Teko devo joIe ke Teko laI levo joIe ? praznakartA : Teko devo joIe. dAdAzrI : evAM bhAva koI karatuM hoya, pachI game te kare, ene 316 samajathI prApta brahmacarya ApaNe Teko devA taiyAra chIe. kAraNa ke ApaNI IcchA ja evI che. have evA bhAva tame karo to saMjoga badhA tamane evAM ja bhegA thaI jAya. ame to vAre ghaDIe A chokarAno TesTa laIe. ene lAlaca ApyA karIe ke paiNane have, melane chAla, paiNavAmAM to bahu majhA che. eno TesTa karuM ke enuM kAcuM che ke pAkuM ! A brahmacarya vrata koIne apAya nahIM. A to ame ekAda varSa mATe ke be varSa mATe ja ApIe chIe. kAyama ApavA mATe to mAre keTalI badhI parIkSA karavI paDe ! amAruM vacanabaLa brahmacarya paLAve evuM che, badhA aMtarAyo toDI nAkhe, tArI IcchA joIe. tArI IcchA pratijJAmAM pariNamavI joIe. hA, pachI tane aMtarAya Ave to e badhuM amAruM vacanabaLa toDI nAkhaze. koI eka moTo pANIno vaikaLo hoya ane koI mANasathI te kUdAto nA hoya to pAchaLa jaIne huM ene kahyuM ke, "e ya kUdI jA.' to e pAcho kUdI jAya. Ama jAte kUdAya evI zakti nA hoya, to ya kUdI jAya. kAraNa ke A zabdanI pAchaLa ene zakti prApta thAya che. evuM atyAre A chokarAo brahmacarya levA phare che, te badhAne ame zakti mUkIe, e zaktipAta thAya. paNa A zaktipAta judI jAtano che. jagatamAM je zaktipAta thAya che, te bhautika che badhA. kharI rIte zaktipAta jevI koI vastu ja nathI. A to sAmAne ema lAge ke mane zakti prApta thaI gaI. A badhuM niyamathI ja che. koI koIne Apato nathI ne kazuM deto nathI. A to potAnI ja zaktino ughADa thAya che. jJAnInA bolavAthI zaktino ughADa thaI jAya che. eTale potAnA manamAM ema lAge ke mane A mahIM kazuM nAkhyuM. A badhA nirbaLa ja hatA ne ! te atyAre keTalAM AnaMdamAM che, jANe dAdAe zakti nAkhI ! sAdhatA, "saMyamI'nA sathavAre ! praznakartA : A badhA saMyamIne joDe rahevAnuM hoya to to bIje kyAMya e jAya ja nahIM. dAdAzrI : hA, evuM paNa thaI jaze. paNa tyAM sudhI hajI keLavaNI karavAnI jarUra che. hajI keLavaNI kAcI, tethI ja evuM nathI thatuM ne ? Page #189 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 317 keLavAyA vagara to tyAM AgaLa badhuM khoTuM kahevAya. mAra khAdhA vagara tyAM AgaLa jAya to loco paDI jAya. khUba mAra khAdho hoya, paddhatisarano keLavAyelo hoya ne pachI tyAM jAya to vAMdho nahIM. eTale Aje ame chokarAone A brahmacaryasaMbaMdhInuM jJAna ApIe chIe ke jethI atyArathI emanI lAIpha bagaDI nA jAya ane bagaDelI hoya, tene sudhAravI kevI rIte ane sudharelI bagaDe nahIM ane enI kevI rIte rakSA karavI, eTaluM ame emane zIkhavADIe. ame to badhAne kahIe chIe ke paiNo. bAkI paiNavuM ke nA paiNavuM e emanA hAthanI vAta nathI ke mArA hAthanI vAta nathI ke tamArA hAthanI vAta nathI. A to brahmacarya jhAlI paDyA che, eTale kaMI emanA hAthamAM sattA che? kAle savAre zuM pAchuM mana pharI jAya to paiNI bese ane game teTaluM kare, to ya 'vyavasthita'nA AgaLa koI pahoMcI vaLyuM nathI. paNa je atyAre icchA thAya che ne, emAM ko'kane dekhAdekhIthI icchA thAya che ne ko'kane sAcI icchA paNa hoya. paNa 'vyavasthita' je kare, tene pachI koI upAya ja nathI ne ? te ame koInI javAbadArI letAM nathI. ame koInI javAbadArI laIe nahIM. ame to emane mArga dekhADIe. je raste cAlavuM hoya te mArga ApIe. bAkI ame vacanabaLa ApIe chIe, paNa emanuM mahIM ThekANuM nA hoya to tene ApaNe zuM karIe ? A vANInA to ame mAlika nathI, e rekarDamAMthI mAla hato teTalI ja vANI nIkaLe. emAM amAre kaMI levAdevA nathI ane AmAM amAre kaMI paDI paNa nathI. 318 samajathI prApta brahmacarya karazo nahIM. eTale huM Amane cetava cetava karuM chuM ke 'bhAI, jo AmAM nakalI thaI jazo to ame aDIzuM nahIM, ame eksepTa paNa nahIM karIe, asalIne eksepTa karIzuM.' nakalI haze to jokhamadArI pachI enI. ame to asalI lAge to ja kaMIka pAchaLa jokhamadArI laIe. paNa A amAre jarUra ja kyAM che ? ame to mokSano mArga dekhADavA AvyA chIe. ame ene AtmajJAna ApyuM ane kahyuM, AjJA pALajo. eTale amArI javAbadArIno tyAM enDa thAya che. praznakartA : e nakala kare che ke asala che, e kevI rIte parakhAya ? e pote pArakhI zakato nathI, tethI to Apane kahe che ke amAruM pArakhaNa karI Apo. dAdAzrI : huM emAM kyAM hAtha ghAluM ? amAre hAtha nA ghalAya. amAre to bIjI bahu jAtanA upayoga rAkhavA paDe. amAre to eTalAM badhA bIjA upayoga hoya che ke AvI bAbatomAM huM upayoga rAkhavA jAuM to Ano pAra ja nA Ave ne ! ame to enuM ahita nA thAya evI TheTha sudhI enI pAchaLa amArI helpa hoya ja. amAre to cogaradamanA cIpiyA hoya ja. ene mahIM mAla evo bharelo hoya to mArAthI eme ya nA kahevAya ke tuM paNa. to bannenuM bagaDe. benuM nahIM, gharanA badhAMnuM bagaDe. eTale amane to eTa-e-TAIma badhI jAtanA vicAra Ave ne ? bAkI A badhAno mAre kyAre pAra Ave ! mAre to tamane mokSe laI javAno rasto dekhADavAno. ame to bIjI bAjunuM helpa karavA ya taiyAra chIe. te asala thaze, tyAre mane khabara paDaze. be-pAMca varSa pachI e ya khabara paDaze ne ? haju atyAre to 'oNna TrAyala' mUkeluM che. hA, asalI thaze pachI mane khabara paDaze. mane to koI saheja ja mahIM kAco paDe to mAlama paDI jAya che ane jagata kaMI choDavAnuM che ? potAnI prakRti kaMI choDe ? eTale ApaNe "oNna TrAyala' joIe chIe. akramamAM AvI AzramanI jarUra ! bAkI jene brahmacarya vrata ja levuM hoya to, eNe abrahmacArInA sAthe amArAthI to ene ya nA kahevAya ke 'bhAI tuM nA paNa.' evuM dabANa nA thAya. ame eTaluM kahIe ke 'tuM paNa. kAraNa ke 'e zuM mAla bharI lAvyo che ?' ene e pote jANato hoya, ene A bAjunuM kheMcANa mahIM aMdara rahyA karatuM hoya. kAraNa ke 'kamiMga ivarsa kADhu dhara zeDojha bIphora." eTale potAne khabara paDI jAya ke "enA zeDojha zuM che ?" eTale ame kazuM dabANa nA karIe. have AmAM bhAMjagaDa kyAM Ave che ke AmAM nakalo thAya to. e ya emane kahuM chuM ke nakalI thazo to mAra khAI jazo, nakalIpaNuM AmAM Page #190 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 319 rahevuM nA joIe. e 'Taca'nA rahevo joIe. emaNe emanAM jevAM brahmacArInA ja TacamAM rahevuM joIe. eTale emanI e vAta to kharI ja che ne, ke badhA bhegA thaIne rahe ? praznakartA : paNa abrahmacArIonI sAthe ja rahIne jyAre brahmacarya vrata pALe to ja kharuM che ne ? e ja ene TesTa che ne ? dAdAzrI : nahIM. evuM amArAthI nA kahevAya ane e kAyado nathI. prakRtino kAyado nA pADe che. eTalo badho TesTeDa mANasa, e to pachI bhagavAna ja kahevAya ne ? praznakartA : A to badhuM ToLuM bheguM thaI jaze pachI. che. 'vyavasthita'no niyama kharo ne ? AgaLa je brahmacaryanuM kArya karato Ave ke paiNI paNa jAya. eTale A dAdAzrI : ema ne ema kaMI thAya ? AnI pAchaLa 'vyavasthita' A 'vyavasthita' kevuM che ke roja ahIM ne traNa dahADAmAM 'vyavasthita' evuM 'vyavasthita' choDe evuM nathI. eTale hoya mArI pAse cogaradamano hisAba che. mATe evo kazo bho rAkhazo nahIM. 'vyavasthita' upara choDI do ne ! 'vyavasthita'nI bahAra kazuM nathI thavAnuM. eTaluM to tamane khAtarI thaI che ne ? 'vyavasthita' upara thoDI ghaNI to khAtarI thaI che ne ? praznakartA : pUrepUrI. dAdAzrI : ApaNA mArgamAM A Azrama jevuM kazAnI jarUra ja nahIM. paNa A to A brahmacArIo thayA che, tethI Amane jarUra. bAkI ApaNA jJAnamAM to makAnanI ya jarUra nahIM ne kazAyanI jarUra nahIM. jyAM hoya, tyAM satsaMga karavAno ne nA hoya to bahAra bagIcAmAM jhADa nIce satsaMga karavAno. paNa A to A brahmacaryanA pALanAra thayA, eTale A prazna Ubho thayo ke 'brahmacarya pALavuM' e gharamAM rahIne koI mANasa pALI zake nahIM. e to brahmacArIonuM jUtha juduM ja hovuM joIe. praznakartA : emane vAtAvaraNanI jarUra che ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : hA, vAtAvaraNanI ja jarUra che. vAtAvaraNathI ja brahmacarya pALI zakAya che. ane abrahmacaryanuM paNa mukhya kAraNa vAtAvaraNa ja che. bAkI AtmA tevo nathI, A to badhI vAtAvaraNonI asaro che. eTale brahmacarya e sAyakolojikala iphekTa che ane abrahmacarya e paNa sAyakolojikala iphekTa che. paNa abrahmacaryanI sAyakolojikala iphekTa bahu kALanI gADha thaI gayelI che, eTale ene khabara nA paDe ke A sAyakolojikala iphekTa che. 320 brahmacarya vitA na javAya mokSe kadi ! AjathI cAlIsa varSa pahelAM, mane nA paiNelAM eka mANasa maLyA. ene strI maLelI nahIM. pahelAM evo jamAno hato ke strI vagaranA ya maLe. te pachI meM ene kahyuM ke, 'viSayamAM sukha kharuM ?' tyAre kahe che, 'enAM jevuM sukha ja koI jagyAe nathI.' alyA, tane strI che nahIM, tuM zuM karavA AmAM sukha mAnI beTho chuM ? koIka dahADo jamavAnuM maLyuM hoya, temAM eno abhiprAya rahyA kare, enA karatAM e abhiprAya jo pharI jAya to vAMdho nathI. e abhiprAya rahe e bhayaMkara guno che. A viSaya to kharAbamAM kharAba vastu che, evo abhiprAya niraMtara rahe to tamAro Ajano guno thoDo ghaNo cauda AnI jeTalo mApha thAya. paNa jene evo abhiprAya varte che ke A viSayamAM kazo vAMdho nathI, e bicAro mAryo ja gayo ! zAthI mAryo jAya ke ene hajI abhiprAya che ke AmAM kazo vAMdho nathI. A brahmacArI chokarAo mane kahI jAya che ke haju to amane AvAM mahIM kharAba vicAra Ave che ne A badhuM Ave che. tyAre meM kahyuM ke AnuM pratikramaNa karajo, paNa Ano bahu ajaMpo nA karazo. kAraNa ke bhagavAna to zuM kahe che ke abrahmacaryano abhiprAya che ke brahmacaryano ? brahmacarya pALavuM sAruM che ke nahIM ? tyAre kahe che ke brahmacarya amane to nahIM poSAya, to ene eka bAjue besADe che ane je kahe che ke amane abrahmacarya saheja paNa nahIM poSAya, ene bIjI bAjue besADe che. ema be ja bhAga pADe che. tamane brahmacaryano abhiprAya varte che eTale tame brahmacarya vibhAgamAM beThA. Page #191 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 321 have tamane saMsArI badhA vicAra Ave, paNa tyAre bhagavAna zuM kahe che ke tane zuM game che ? tyAre kahe ke brahmacarya. eTale have tame brahmacarya vibhAgamAM beThA cho. paNa pharI brahmacaryano abhiprAya nA badalAvo joIe. eTale brahmacaryanI viruddha thavAno vicAra Ave tyAM sudhI nA pahoMcazo. eTalA mATe e vicAro upara kaMTrola rAkho. eTale mukhya to abhiprAya tamAro nA badalAvo joIe. huM zuM kahevA mAMguM chuM, e tamane samaja paDI ne ? praznakartA : hA. UgatuM ane AthamatuM, e be bheda paDI gayA pachI vAMdho nahIM. pachI vicArono saMgharSa thAya nahIM. dAdAzrI : have AvuM koI zIkhavADe ja nahIM ne ! A huM mahatvanI vAta kahuM chuM. AmAM saMgharSaNa thAya nahIM ane kAma nIkaLI jAya. mata bagaDe tyAM.... praznakartA : ApanuM 'jJAna' lIdhA pachI brahmacarya le to sAruM ne ? dAdAzrI : A badhA chokarAo ahIM besI rahe che, te svarUpa jJAna'mAM ya kharA ne brahmacaryamAM ya kharA. badhI rIte emane sukha rahe che. 'jJAna' sAthe brahmacarya hoya, enI to vAta ja judI kahevAya ne !!! eTale brahmacarya kevuM joIe ? mana-vacana-kAyAnuM hovuM joIe. manamAM viSaya saMbaMdhI vicAra sarakho ya nA Avavo joIe ne jarAka vicAra Ave to tarata ja pratikramaNa karI le. A chokarAo badhA mana-vacana-kAyAnuM saMpUrNa brahmacarya pALe che. vicAra to Ave ja mANasane. vicAra Ave che e 'DiscArja' thayA kare che. mATe potAnI icchA viruddha Ave che, paNa vicArathI DAgha paDyo, te ame sAbu Apelo hoya tenAthI dhoI nAkhe. praznakartA : vAraMvAra DAgha dhUe to kapaDuM phATI jAya ne ? dAdAzrI : nA, e amAro sAbu ja evo hoya ke kapaDuM phATI nA jAya. doSa thayo ke tenI sAthe 'zUTa ona sAITa' hoya !!! praznakartA : ghaNAM loko brahmacarya vratanI AjJA le che, paNa mana bagaDatuM hoya to eno artha ja nahIM ne ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : mana bagaDe eTale badhuM bagaDyuM. chatAM A badhA bahu sarasa kare che. jeTalI AjJA pALI eTaluM to mana bagaDatuM aTakyuM. A jJAna evuM che ke enAthI kaMIka sUkSma brahmacarya pALI zakAya evuM che. kAraNa ke mana sukha khoLe che ne ? A jJAna sukhavALuM che. eTale A chokarAo majhA kare che ne badhA ? Amane zuM thAya ke juvAnI che ane khorAka khAya, te khorAkanI asara thAya ke nA thAya ? lagna karelAM hoya to ene 'IphekTa' thAya, eno vAMdho nahIM. paNa lagna kareluM nahIM, tene zuM thAya ? eTale A loko DaratAM DaratAM badhuM khAya. zuM kahe ke amane 'DiscArja' thaI jAya che. alyA, chone 'DiscArja' thaI jAya. A to pAchI mahIM asara thaI jAya ke DiscArja thaI gayuM. paNa te karyuM nathI ne ? ApaNe karavuM nA joIe. eTale meM kahyuM, e buddhipUrvakanuM nathI eTale vAMdho nathI. buddhipUrvakanuM hoya to vAMdho che. 322 praznakartA : buddhipUrvakanuM eTale kevuM ? dAdAzrI : buddhipUrvakanuM eTale pote icchApUrvaka kare tevuM. jyAre A to rAtre svapnAmAM thaI jAya enAM gunegAra ja nahIM, ema emane kahI dIdhuM. kAraNa ke mUMjhAyA kare, vagara kAmanA. tArI icchA nathI ne ? e ApaNe karavuM nA joIe. have e thaI jAya che, eno vAMdho nahIM. tAruM buddhipUrvaka nathI ne ? tyAre kahe, 'nA.' ane svapna e duniyA ja judI che. e judI duniyAnI vAta che. svapnAtA bhogato pUrvApara saMbaMdha ?! praznakartA : UMghamAM je aTapaTA bhoga bhAse che, emAM kaMI satyatA kharI ? dAdAzrI : kharuM ne ! pUrva bhave bhogaveluM, tenA saMskAra dekhAya atyAre ! pUrva bhave, anaMta avatAramAM je bhoga bhogavyA hoya ne, te saMskAro badhA atyAre A svapnAmAM dekhAya. praznakartA : paNa A to pUrvApara saMbaMdha sivAya dekhAya che ne ? dAdAzrI : pUrvApara saMbaMdha che ja. Page #192 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA: nahIM, nahIM, A divasa daramyAna agara to jiMdagI daramyAna kAMI karyuM nA hoya, e pUrvApara saMbaMdha vagara evuM A svapnamAM thAya che ? dAdAzrI : hA, atyAranA saMbaMdha vagara thAya. paNa e saMskArano udaya Avyo ke tarata dekhA de. koI sAdhu hoya chatAM ene svapnAmAM rANIvAsa Ave. alyA, tyAga lIdho, bAyaDIne choDI, chatAM rANInAM svapnAM Ave ?! kAraNa ke pahelAMnA saMskAra che, te Ave che. praznakartA : A bhavanI atRpta vAsanAthI e svapnAM Ave che, evuM nahIM ? dAdAzrI : nA, nA. A bhavanI atRpta vAsanA hoya ne, to te jyAM ne tyAM DApho mAra mAra karyA kare. je bhUkhyo mANasa hoya ne, te jyAM kaMIka halavAInI dukAna dekhAya, tyAM jo jo karyA kare. eTale je halavAInI dukAne jo jo kare to ApaNe nA samajIe A mUo bhUkhyo che. ane je mANaso A badhI bAyaDIone dekhe ke gAyo-bheMsone dekhe tyAM ya jo jo kare to, ApaNe nA jANIe ke ene kaMIka atRpta vAsanAo che ? praznakartA : paNa enI vRttione baMdha ApaNe kevI rIte karI zakIe ? dAdAzrI : e to ApaNAthI kazuM nA thAya. e pote pAMsaro thAya to ja thAya. praznakartA : to enI vRttio kADhavA mATeno rasto zo ? satsaMga? dAdAzrI : satsaMga sivAya to bIjo koI upAya nathI. kusaMgathI ja A badhI vRttio AvI thaI jAya che. ane bIjuM, viSayomAM jo kadI tarachoDAyelo hoyane, to to ene Akho dahADo viSayanA ja vicAro AvyA kare. tethI ame kaheluM ne, ke eka paiNaje. ke jethI karIne vRttio zAMta thAya. bAkI tarachoDAyelo mANasa to badhe jo jo karyA kare. te ya manuSyanI strIne to jue paNa tiryaMcanI strIne ya jue, pAcho nirIkSaNa hau kare ! 324 samajathI prApta brahmacarya praznakartA : upavAsa kare to, haMmezAM enI vRttio saMyamamAM rahe evI kaMI satyatA kharI ? dAdAzrI : hA, rahe. paNa e to enA saMyama upara AdhAra rAkhe che, enA saMskAra upara AdhAra rAkhe che. praznakartA saMskAranuM ghaDatara karavuM paDe ne, kAraNa pUrva bhavanuM laIne kazuM nA Avyo hoya to ? dAdAzrI : nA. paNa e saMyama laIne Avyo hoya ne, to e upavAsa kare tyAre tame ene jalebI badhuM dekhADo, to paNa enuM citta emAM nA jAya. evAM ya mANaso che. praznakartA : paNa AvAM pUrvanA udaya to moTA puruSo laIne AvelA hoya che, paNa sAmAnya mANaso mATe kaMI thaI zake nahIM ? dAdAzrI : sAmAnya mANasonuM to gajuM ja nahIM ne ! sAmAnya mANasanuM zuM gajuM ? praznakartA : to satsaMgathI enAmAM kaMI jAgRti thAya ? dAdAzrI : hA. satsaMgamAM Ave, roja paDI rahe A satsaMgamAM, tyAre enuM pUruM thAya. eno upAya ja satsaMga, satsaMga ne satsaMga. dAdAvANI sarI brahmacArIo kAje... bAkI, viSaya e to bhayaMkara du:kho ane yAtanAo ja che narI ! pachI Akho dahADo citta che te bhaTaka, bhaTaka, bhaTaka karyA kare, nabaLuM paDI jAya, lapaTuM paDI jAya. tAre evuM lapaTuM paDI jAya che ? praznakartA : koI vAra evuM thaI jAya. dAdAzrI : koI vAra thAya ne ? paNa Akho dahADo to kAyamanuM nahIM ne ? eTale e kAma thaI gayuM. jeNe niyama ja lIdho che ke mAre brahmacarya vrata ja pALavuM che, emAM likeja thAya to ya ene bhagavAna leTa Page #193 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 325 go kare che. kudaratano nyAya leTa go kare che. ane brahmacArIo badhA bhegA rahe to brahmacarya rahe. nahIM to ahIM zaheramAM ekalo rahe to, ene brahmacarya rahe ja nahIM ne ! praznakartA : paNa kharuM to e ja kahevAya ne ? dAdAzrI : kharuM to e kahevAya. paNa e to TesTeDa eTalo badho koI A kALamAM nA hoya ne ! e to jJAnI puruSa sivAya bIjo koI TesTiMga ApI zake nahIM. jJAnI puruSane to "opana Tu skAya' ja hoya. rAtre game te TAIme emane tyAM jAva to ya "opana Tu skAya' hoya. amAre to brahmacarya pALavuM paDe evuM ya nA hoya. amAre to viSaya yAde ya nA hoya. A zarIramAM e paramANu ja nA hoya ne ! tethI AvI brahmacarya saMbaMdhI vANI nIkaLe ne ! viSaya sAme to koI bolyA ja nathI. loka viSayI che eTale loke viSaya para upadeza ja nathI Apyo. ane ApaNe to ahIM AkhuM pustaka thAya evuM brahmacaryanuM bolyA chIe, te TheTha sudhI vAta bolyAM chIe. kAraNa amArAmAM to e paramANu ja khalAsa thayA, dehanI bahAra ame rahIe. bahAra eTale pADozI jevA niraMtara rahIe ! nahIM to AvI ajAyabI maLe ja nahIM ne koI dahADo ya ! brahmacaryanuM eka che abrahmacaryanAM aneka duHkho ! praznakartA : paNa A brahmacarya e kaMI khAvAnA khela nathI. dAdAzrI : brahmacarya e kaMI khAvAnA khela nathI, to abrahmacarya e paNa khAvAnA khela nathI. abrahmacaryanI je pIDA che ne, enA karatAM brahmacaryamAM bahu ochI pIDA che. brahmacaryamAM eka ja prakAranI pIDA ke pelA viSaya bAju dhyAna ja nahIM ApavAnuM. praznakartA: paNa A pIDAthI sukha to bahu utpanna thAya. jo eTaluM sacavAI gayuM ke e bAju dhyAna ja nA Ape, to pIDAne badale mahIM sukha utpanna thAya. dAdAzrI : e to svAbhAvika rIte sukha ja utpanna thAya. paNa e 326 samajathI prApta brahmacarya dhyAna nahIM ApavA mATe viSayano vicAra AvatAM pahelAM ukheDI nAkhe ne badhuM pratikramaNa karIne badhuM ekajhekTanesamAM rahevuM paDe. e khetaramAM bIjA paDavA ja nahIM daIe, to Uge ja zI rIte ?! tAre mahIM kaMI pAMsaruM rahe che ke bagaDI gayuM che ? AkhuM ya bagaDI gayuM che ? thoDuM thoDuM ? to kaMI have sudhAro karI le ! A viSayanAM duHkho to tArAthI sahana nA thAya. A to jADI khAlanA loko te sahana kare, e yAtanAo. bAkI tuM to pAtaLI khAlano, te zI rIte A yAtanA sahana thAya ? praznakartA : paNa bI paDI gayuM ne jhADa thaI jAya to zuM kare ? pachI phaLa khAdhe ja chUTako ne ? dAdAzrI : nA, paNa A to cetelA che, temane kahuM chuM. praznakartA : paNa A je saMsAramAM hoya, tene bIja paDI gayuM ne jhADa thaI gayuM to ? dAdAzrI : e to upAya nahIM ne ! praznakartA : pachI phaLa khAdha ja chUTako ne ? dAdAzrI : phaLa khAya paNa pastAvA sAthe khAya, to e phaLamAMthI pharI bIja nA paDe ane khuzIthI khAya ke 'hA, Aja to bahu majhA AvI', to pharI pAchuM bIja paDe. bAkI AmAM to lapaTuM paDI jAya. saheja DhIluM mUkyuM ne tyAM lapaTuM paDI jAya. eTale DhIluM mUkavAnuM nahIM. kaDaka rahevAnuM. marI jauM to ya paNa A nahIM joIe. evuM kaDaka rahevuM joIe. draSTithI ja bagaDe, brahmacarya ! A chokarAo amArI vAtano durupayoga kare, mATe ame jJAnanI ekkekTa vastu kahetA nathI. ame to jJAnamAM badhuM joyeluM hoya, paNa ekkekTa kahevAya nahIM. kAraNa ke A akrama vijJAna che ane karmo khapAvyA sivAyanuM che. karmo khapAvyAM nathI eTale eka bAju jabarajasta Page #194 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 327 jora che. tethI pachI mana vaLAMka laI le. A vAtano durupayoga karavA jAya to mAryo jAya. A to badhI eTalA mATe chUTa ApI ke tame bhaDakazo nahIM. khAjo nirAMte. AvuM AvuM paNa brahmacarya pALe to bahu thaI gayuM. praznakartA : AnAthI to bahu moTI 'breka' AvI jAya ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, moTI 'breka' AvI jAya. ame A cAritra saMbaMdhamAM bahu kaDakAI rAkhIe. pachI 'vyavasthita'mAM paiNavAnuM haze, to ene koI bApo ya choDavAno nathI. e huM samajuM chuM ne ?! paNa atyAre cAritramAM hoya to emanI lAIpha sudharI jAya ane vakhate paiNyo to ya pachI bIjAnI joDe AMkha nahIM mAMDe ne ! mokSe jatAM naDatuM hoya to strI viSaya ekalo ja naDe che ane te jovA mAtrathI ja bahu naDe che. vyavahAramAM ATalo ja bhaya che, ATaluM ja bhaya signala che. bIje badhe bhaya signala nathI. eTale chokarAone kaheluM ne, ke strI tarapha draSTi sarakhI mAMDazo nahIM ane draSTi maMDAI jAya to eno upAya Apelo che. sAbu ghAlIne dhoI nAkhavAnuM. A kALamAM moTAmAM moTuM poIjhana hoya to viSaya ja che. A kALanA manuSyo evA nathI ke jene jhera nA caDhe. A to pomalA bicArA. dhAryA pramANe game tema phare to jhera caDhI jAya ke nahIM ?! A to AjJAmAM rahe che eTale jhera nathI caDhatuM,, paNa AjJAmAM nA rahe to ? eka ja phero AjJA tUTI ke poIjhana pharI vaLe, haDahaDATa ! AmanuM gajuM ja nahIM ne !! koItI baheta para draSTi bagADI ?! mane moTI cIDha A bAbata mATe rahe ke koInI upara draSTi kema bagADAya tArAthI ? tArI bahena upara koI kharAba draSTi kare, to tane kevuM lAge ? to evuM tuM koInI bahena 52 draSTi bagADuM to ? paNa evo A lokone vicAra nahIM Avato hoya ne ? ne ? praznakartA : evo vicAra Avato hoya to, AvuM koI kare ja nahIM samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : hA, koI kare ja nahIM. paNa ATaluM badhuM bebhAnapaNuM che ne ! A chokarAomAM to A jJAna pachI bahu pheraphAra thaI gayo. eTale mane AnaMda thAya ne ! nahIM to to huM Amane bolAvuM paNa nahIM. kAraNa mane to cIDha caDhe. ApaNe tyAM to cauda varSe to paiNAvI devA joIe. cauda varSanI choDI ane aDhAra varSano chokaro, evI rIte paiNAvI devA joIe. paNa A to navI ja jAtanuM thayuM. A paNa kudarate karyuM che. mANasa ocho kaMI kare che ? pahelAM to sAta-sAta varSe paiNAvI detA hatA. eTale e lokonI bIjAM tarapha draSTi paNa jAya nahIM pachI, ane e lAIpha kevI sarasa !! chokarAMo kevAM sarasa pAke. ekadhArAM chokarAMo !! 328 praznakartA : A eka moTo poInTa che. jenI draSTi nA bagaDe, enAM chokarAMo badhAM ekadhArAM hoya e. dAdAzrI : ane eTale paraMparAgata saMskAra Ave. A to mArkeTa maTIriyala jevuM thaI gayuM che. bajAruM mAla nA hoya evuM !! AvuM te hoya ja kema karIne ? jo strI eka ja pativrata pALe ane pati jo eka patnIvrata pALe to banne darzana karavA yogya kahevAya. eTale ApaNe ahIM to chokarA-chokarIne to vahelA taiNAvI devA joIe, meLa paDato hoya to. meLa nA paDato hoya to paNa taiyArI vahelA paiNAvavA mATe rAkhavI. A kaMI rAkhI melavA jevo mAla na hoya. to pachI slipa thatuM bace, nahIM to A to bagaDatuM ja cAlyuM che. amane to nAnapaNathI A game nahIM ke lokoe AmAM sukha kema mAnyuM che ? te ya mane ema lAge ke A kaI jAtanuM che ? A lokone to jApAnIjha ramakaDAM ramADavAM joIe. A jIvatAM ramakaDAM ya ramADavAM joIe, paNa jIvatAM ramakaDAM mAre to pachI bacakuM bhare ne ?! A to badhuM kapaDAMthI DhAMkeluM che tethI moha thAya che. amane to nAnapaNathI A thrI vijhananI prekiTasa paDI gayelI. eTale amane to bahu vairAga AvyA kare, bahu ja cIDha caDhe. evI vastumAM ja A lokone ArAdhanA rahe. A te kaI jAtanuM kahevAya ? Page #195 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 329 ...pratikramaNa e ja upAya ! praznakartA H evuM kahevAmAM AvyuM che ke jJAna pachI kudraSTi e jokhama che. have kudraSTi e cArjabhAva che ke DiscArja pariNAma che? dAdAzrI : e DiscArja pariNAma kharuM, paNa joDe joDe e pariNAmane dhovAnuM kahyuM che ne ? e pariNAma to thavAnAM, kudraSTi to thAya paNa joDe joDe ApaNe dhovAnuM kaheluM che. praznakartA : paNa dhovAnuM kevI rIte ? pratikramaNa karIne dhovAnuM ne ? dAdAzrI : kaheluM ja che, ne e pramANe e badhA kare ja che. A chokarAo badhAne sahaja rIte niraMtara tapa thavAnuM. A badhA brahmacarya vratavALA che. e badhAne niraMtara jJAna-darzana-cAritra ane tapa hoya, emanAM kapaDAM AvAM dekhAya. paNa aMdara to jJAna-darzana-cAritra ane tapa hoya. javAniyA lokoe viSayane mArI pAse samajavo paDe. enuM vivaraNa samajavuM paDe. to pachI enI para saheje abhAva thavA mAMDe, nahIM to abhAva thAya nahIM ne ? enuM vivaraNa thavuM joIe, te jJAnI puruSa vivaraNa karI Ape. jJAnI puruSa e vivaraNa badhAne pablikamAM nA kahe, be-pAMca jaNane e rUbarUmAM kahI zake ke A zI hakIkata che. viSaya e buddhipUrvakanuM hoya to to bahu vairAga Ave. A to 'phUlizanesa' che. praznakartA : e rAga thAya che tyAM ? e zuM che ? dAdAzrI : e rAga zAthI thAya che ? hakIkatamAM A jANyuM nathI tethI, rAga to lokone pattAM para bese che, dArU para bese che, paNa hakIkata jANe ke e chUTI jAya che. eTale hakIkata jANavI paDe ke A ahitakArI che, A vastu sArI nathI, kharekhara AmAM sukha che ja nahIM, A to bhAyamAna sukha che, to chUTI jAya. darAja tane koI divasa thayelI che ? e darAjane valUravAmAM ane AmAM koI ja phera nathI. tame ema kaho ke mArAthI gaLyuM chUTatuM nathI. to huM kahuM ke kazo 330 samajathI prApta brahmacarya vAMdho nathI, khAje. kAraNa ke e khAya che, te to hakIkata svarUpa che. tadana polI hakIkta nathI, paNa 'rileTiva'mAM to hakIkata svarUpa che. jIbhane svAda Ave che, te to 'rileTiva'mAM hakIkata svarUpa che. jyAre viSaya to kazAmAM che ja nahIM. kevo moha, te koDathI paiNe ? A strI-puruSanA viSaya je che ne, temAM dAvA maMDAya. kAraNa ke A viSayamAM benI eka mAlikI che ane mata bannenA judA che. eTale jo svataMtra thavuM hoya to A gunegArImAM AvavuM na ghaTe ane jene te gunegArI pharajiyAta che, ene eno nikAla karavo paDe. praznakartA : gunegArImAM nA AvavuM paDe. eTalA mATe paraNavuM nA joIe ? dAdAzrI : paraNavuM nA joIe ke paraNavuM joIe, e ApaNI sattAnI vAta nathI. tAre nizcayabhAva rAkhavo joIe ke Ama nA hoya to uttama. jema gADImAMthI paDavuM joIe, evI icchA koIne hoya che? ApaNI icchA kevI hoya che ke paDI nA javAya to sAruM. chatAM paDI javAya to zuM thAya ? evI rIte paraNavA mATe nA paDI javAya to sAruM. evA bhAva ApaNAM rahevA joIe. praznakartA eTale paraNavuM eTale gADImAMthI paDI javA barAbara che ? dAdAzrI : evI rIte ja che ne, paNa e nAchUTake ja hovuM joIe. praznakartA : pachI ene nATakamAM levuM paDe ? dAdAzrI : hAsto, pachI chUTako ja nahIM ne ! praznakartA : paraNavAmAM ATaluM badhuM jokhama che, e sukha darAja jevuM che. to pachI A badhA je paiNe che, te nAchUTake paiNyA che ? kema paiNe che ? dAdAzrI : loko to khuzIthI, zokhathI paiNe che. AmAM du:kha che evuM jANatA nathI. e to evuM ja jANe che ke saravALe AmAM sukha che. thoDIghaNI Page #196 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 331 khoTa hoya paNa saravALe naphAvALI AITama che evuM loka jANe che. jyAre kharI hakIkatamAM taddana khoTa ja che. e jyAre InkamaTekSa' oNphisamAM jAya tyAre khabara paDe ke A badhI ja khoTa hatI. ane te ya ApaNA hAthamAM sattA nathI ne ? A bhavamAM ApaNA hAthamAM nathI ne? A bhavamAM to atyAre have navesarathI ApaNane 'DisIjhana' AvI jAya, eTale cokhkhuM thaI jAya. zrImad rAjacaMdre eTalA mATe kahyuM ke, 'dekhata bhUlI TaLe' to sarva du:khano kSaya thAya. e pote ja kahe che ke amArA jJAnamAM to varte ja che ke AmAM paDavA jevuM nathI, chatAM joIe chIe ne bhUla thAya che. dekhIe chIe ne bhUla thAya che. ane ApaNuM jJAna to evuM che ke dekhe ane bhUla thAya nahIM. kAraNa ke dekhyuM eTale 'zuddhAtmA' ene dekhAvo joIe ne 'zuddhAtmA' dekhAya pachI rAga nA thAya. 'juvAtI' sacavAI jAya to A jagatamAM bIjuM koI jAtanuM jokhama nathI, ATaluM ja jokhama che. keTalAkane evuM hoya che ke pratikramaNa kare eTale je DAgha paDyo hoya te dhovAI jAya ane keTalAkane pratikramaNa karatAM ya DAgha nA UkhaDe. paNa evuM be-cAra hoya. tene mATe mArI pAse samajavA AvavuM paDe, to huM badhuM samajAvuM ke hakIkatamAM Ama che. .... A 'vaoNra'mAMthI tame bacI jAva. A 'vaoNra' bahu moTI che. A yuvAnInI 'vaoNra' to bahu jabarI che, pAkistAna karatAM ya jabarI. praznakartA : kurukSetra karatAM ya moTuM ? dAdAzrI : hA, tenA mATe ekAMtamAM pUchavuM joIe. be-pAMca jaNa hoya to vAMdho nahIM, paNa pUchIe to badho ukela jaDe. praznakartA : Apane pUcheluM ke jJAnano apaco eTale zuM ? to Ape kaheluM ke A vAta to juvAna chokarAo mATe che. jJAnano apaco emane thaI jAya, to e zuM che ? samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : juvAnone jJAna jAgRti upara AvaraNa AvatAM vAra nA lAge. e AvaraNa Ave che, te ja jJAnanuM ajIrNa che. jyAre moTAne evAM AvaraNa nA Ave. pelAne javAnInA jozathI AvaraNa Ave, e svabhAvika kahevAya. ApaNe emane ema nA kahI zakIe ke tuM Ama kema karuM chuM ? kAraNa ke ApaNe jANatAM hoIe ke nava vAgye pANI Ave che, eTale pachI te TAIme pANI AvyA vagara rahe ja nahIM ne ! pachI bAra vAgye pANI Ave ? nA, nathI AvatuM. evuM A javAnImAM e joza hoya. eTale e joza thayuM ke tarata mahIM aMdhAruM ghora karI nAkhe. evuM tamane moTI uMmaranAne aMdhAruM ghora nA thAya. tamAre jAgRti rahe. 332 A to upayoga nahIM, tene lIdhe bhUlo thAya. upayoga de to bhUla nA thAya. jema A paisA kamAIe, temAM khoTa nA jAya ne dareka cIjano napho rahevo ja joIe. eTalA mATe dareka cIja bhAvatAla joIne vecIe chIe, nahIM to gappu mArIe to dukAnamAM pachI khoTa ja jAya. evI rIte darekamAM zuddha upayoga rAkhIne kAma levuM paDe. tyAM vyApAramAM e jAgRti rahe che ane ahIM kema nA rahI ? A moTo vepAra che ane pAcho A potAno vepAra che, jyAre pelo to pA2ko, caMdrezano vepAra che. emAM 'ApaNe' levA ya nahIM ne devA ya nahIM. A to potAno vepAra, emAM dareka vakhate upayoga vagara nA thavuM joIe. vakhate pA-aDadho kalAka thayuM ko'ka jagyAe ko'kanI vAta uparathI gUMcAI gayA, to pratikramaNa karavuM. pratikramaNa karo eTale pharI jAgRti Avaze, paNa gUMcAya gUMcAya karo to pAra ja nA Ave ne ? ko'ka avatAramAM jJAnI puruSa bheLA thAya ane tyAM ApaNe kAcA paDIe, te ApaNI ja bhUla che ne ? praznakartA : jJAnano apaco nA thAya ane emAMthI 'sephasAIDa'mAM nIkaLI javAya, e kevI rIte ? dAdAzrI : evuM che ne, ke emAM to evI rIte AjJA pALavI paDe, puruSArtha mAMDavo paDe. ame eka ja phero kahyuM hatuM ke A viSayanuM jokhama keTaluM che, te sAMbhaLIne to badhA chokarAoe puruSArtha mAMDI dIdho. A 'akrama vijJAna' to bahu UMcI kvaoNliTInuM che. Aje tamane Page #197 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 333 ema lAgatuM hoya ke kemanuM thaze, paNa A vijJAna kalAkamAM to zuM nuM zuM karI nAkhe !!! jevo jJAnI para tamane bhAva Ave, tevuM tenA pariNAmanuM pramANa vadhatuM jAya. eTale A chokarAone meM kahyuM ke tamAruM eksepTa karIe paNa tamAre lAlabattI rAkhavAnI. kAraNa ke emane hajI javAnInI zarUAta thaI nathI. atyAre emane mArI para jeTaluM lakSa rahe che, eTaluM lakSa javAnImAM rahe ne javAnI pasAra thaI jAya to emane vAMdho nahIM Ave. paNa jo lakSa badalAyuM to vAMdho Avyo samajajo. pachI to pADI hau nAkhe. eTale emane A lAlabattIo dharIe. kRpApAtra thaI gayelAM hoya to viSaya jItI jAya, chatAM ya lAlabattI dharavI paDe. lAlabattI dharIe nahIM to e loko gADI vahetI mUkI de ane A karma to tIrthaMkarone ya nacAvyA, to AmanuM to zuM gajuM ? A chokarAone huM kahuM chuM ke tame A jAgRtimAM raho cho, paNa tamAre haju rIja poInTa AvavAnuM che. tamAre to haju javAnI paNa khIlI nathI. eTale bahu muzkelIo Avaze. chatAM ArapAra nIkaLI javAya evo rasto meM dekhADyo che ane e raste ja jAya to ArapAra nIkaLI paNa jAya, AvuM vijhana to koIne ya nA hoya. kAraNa ke A bAjunuM, A zarIranuM vicAryuM ja nA hoya ne ? A to basa, 'huM ja chuM.' tethI to potAnA doSa koIne nahIM dekhAtA. jyAM dhULa doSa ja nathI dekhAtA tyAM, viSaya sAme jAgRti to, kevI sUkSmamAM sUkSma joIe ?! e zI rIte Ave ? eTale koIe A kekyulezanamAM ja lIdhuM nathI ne ! A ApaNo satsaMga, A vAto, kyAreya paNa sAMbhaLavAmAM nA Ave evI vastu che. A to buddhinI pArano satsaMga kahevAya. badhe to buddhino satsaMga hoya. ..AnaMdanI anubhUti tyAM ! 'akrama vijJAnamAM meM kazo pheraphAra karyo nathI. paNa 'akrama vijJAnane mANaso pahoMcI zakyA nahIM, anAdithI pelAmAM ja TevAyelA loko. nahIM to TheThanuM kAma thAya evuM A vijJAna che. akrama vijJAnane 334 samajathI prApta brahmacarya kyAre pahoMcI vaLe ? ke viSaya upara vairAgavALo mANasa hoya ane tene akrama vijJAna' maLe, pachI to enuM kalyANa ja thaI gayuM ne ?! viSaya ja jene gamatA nathI, e UMcI sthiti kahevAya che. jainomAM ya je UMcI sthitie pahoMcelA mANaso hoya, te ja vairAga le che. emane to nAnapaNathI ja kazuM game nahIM. emane to viSayanI vAta sAMbhaLatAM ja arerATI chUTI jAya. Devalapa kuTuMbanI vIsa-vIsa varSanI chokarIo hoya che, vIsa-vIsa varSanA chokarAo hoya che, emane viSayanI vAta karIe chIe to, temane to arerATI chUTI jAya che. A brahmacarya vrata lIdhA pachI e AnaMda emane jato ya nathI, pAra vagaranA AnaMdamAM rahe. kAraNa ke mULa viSaya ke jenA AdhAre jagata UbhuM rahyuM che, jenA AdhAre dhyAna phrekacara thaI jAya che, te AdhAra ja emane nathI raheto. eka ja phero abrahmacaryano bhAva utpanna thAya, te traNa-traNa dahADA sudhI dhyAna nA thavA de. pachI zI rIte AtmAnuM mUlya samajAya ? ane A brahmacarya vratavALAne to A jJAna che eTale AtmAno AnaMda to pAmyA, paNa e AnaMda A vratane laIne TakI rahyo che. pachI e AnaMda khasato ja nathI. A loko bArabAra mahinAnuM vrata laIne pachI A anubhava karI jAya che. pAchAM mane AvIne zuM kahI jAya che ke dAdA, ame je AnaMda bhogavI rahyA chIe, e ajAyaba AnaMda che. eka kSaNa paNa kazuM thatuM nathI. kahevuM paDe !! ATalI badhI brahmacaryanI lAgavaga che, evI to mane ya khabara nahIM. praznakartA : ApanI pAse paNa e ja hatuM ne ? dAdAzrI : nA, paNa te mane ATalI khabara nahIM ke A lAgavaga ATalI badhI che. huM jANuM nahIM ke A chokarAne ATalo badho AnaMda varte ane te paNa brahmacaryane laIne !!! kAraNa ke jJAna to badhAne ApeluM che ane AtmAno AnaMda paNa Ubho thayelo che, paNa have e AnaMdane koNa sparza thavA nathI detuM ? viSayabhAva, pAzavatA. praznakartA : A bahAravALAo je brahmacarya pALe, emane Avo AnaMda thAya nahIM ne ? dAdAzrI : emane AtmAno AnaMda nA thAya. emane to paugalika Page #198 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 335 AnaMda Ubho thAya ane tyAM to paudgalika AnaMdane ja AtmAno AnaMda mAnavAmAM Ave che. chatAM enAthI emane AnaMda rahe, mahIM klezanuM vAtAvaraNa kare, evuM badhuM nA hoya. kAraNa ke emanA hAthamAM pudgalasAra AvI gayo ne ! brahmacarya eTale pudgalasAra ane AdhyAtmasAra eTale zuddhAtmA. ane A be, jene bheguM thAya tenuM to kalyANa ja thaI gayuM ne ! paNa jene pudgalasAra ekalo hoya to tene, thoDoghaNo ya AnaMda Ave ne ? eTale A brahmacaryanA baLa AgaLa, ene bIjI vRttio herAna nA kare. praznakartA : pelA brahmacArIone kaSAyo herAna nA kare ? dAdAzrI : nA kare. brahmacArI koI dahADo ya ciDhAya ja nahIM. A saMsAranA brahmacArI hoya te ya koI dahADo ciDhAya nahIM. emanuM moDhuM juo to ya AnaMda thAya. brahmacaryanuM to teja Ave. teja nA AvyuM to brahmacarya zAnuM ? eTale saMsAramAM ya brahmacarya mAnavuM hoya to konuM mAnajo ke jenAM moDhA para teja hoya. brahmacArI to tejavAna puruSa hoya. brahmacarya AtmAnA svAbhAvika guNone pragaTa thavA de, AtmAno anubhava thavA de, badhA guNono anubhava thavA de. ane abrahmacaryabhAvane laIne AtmAnA badhA guNono anubhava thAya chatAM, anubhava thayo nathI evuM lAgavA de, sthiratA nA rahe. 'A' eka vastumAM anukULatA AvI to, badhAmAM anukULatA AvI jAya che. badhuM anukULa thaI jAya che. vyavahAra, maThAre brahmacArIone.... A brahmacArIone badhI pIDA ja maTI gaI ne chatAM emane vyavahAra zIkhatAM ghaNo TAIma lAgaze. vyavahArikatA AvaDavI joIe ne ? AtmA jANyo paNa te vyavahAra sameta hovo joIe. potAnuM ekalAMnuM kalyANa thaI jAya, emAM zo dahADo vaLe ? A loko to kahe che ke 'amane to jagatakalyANamAM dAdAne pUrepUro sAtha devo che.' tethI brahmacarya pALe che. A to meM nahIM dhArelo evo navo ja phaNago phUTyo che. huM to evuM jANato hato ke A kALamAM brahmacarya rahI zake ja nahIM. pUrva bhave bhAvanA karelI hoya, tene to rahI ja zake ane ApaNA sAdhu samajathI prApta brahmacarya AcAryone rahe ja che ne ! paNa bIjA sAmAnya mANasonuM gajuM ja nahIM ne ! jyAM niraMtara baLatarAmAM baLyA kare che, tyAM AgaLa koI brahmacaryanI vAto karavA jAya kharuM ? ane kare to koI sAMbhaLe ya nahIM ! paNa AvA kALamAM ApaNe tyAM A navuM ja nIkaLyuM. AvuM brahmacaryanuM nIkaLaze evuM to mane svapne ya khyAla nahIM. A jagatanuM kalyANa thavAnuM hoya tyAre ja AvuM bheguM thAya ne ? nahIM to AvuM badhuM kyAMthI bheguM thAya ? ame to koI dahADo ya kahyuM nahotuM ke amAre AvuM joIe che, ke amAre AvuM karavuM che. A to brahmacarya mATe chokarAo sAmethI AvI AvIne paDe che. 336 urdhva reta thAya ne, to kAma thaI gayuM. tyAra pachI je vANI chUTe, tyAre pachI je saMyama sukha hoya, enI to vAta ja judI che. eTale huM evuM karavA mAMguM chuM A brahmacArIone. ene vALa vALa karI ane jJAne karIne brahmacaryamAM vaLI jAya evuM karI ApuM chuM ane vaLI zake che. praznakartA : vaLI zake e zabda to yogya nathI lAgato. kAraNa ke vaLI zake che, dabAvI paNa zake ane uchaLI paNa zake, paNa jJAne karIne Apa emane kRpA karo to bahu sarasa thAya. dAdAzrI : hA, kRpA ja. e to A moMDhe zabda bolavA paDe, bAkI kRpAe karIne thAya. praznakartA : e kRpA vagara sAdhya nathI, dAdA. dAdAzrI : ane taiyAra thAya to A dezanuM kaMIka kalyANa karI zake. eTale taiyAra thaI jaze badhA. A brahmacarya mATe dAdAe kevI suMdara vADa karI ApI che ane e vADa upara keTalA taTastha rahyA che, nirIkSaka tarIke kAma kare che !! bolo have, AvuM bane ? A kaLiyugamAM banavA pAme che te AnI pAchaLa kaMI navI ja jAtanuM sarjana che, evuM nakkI ja che ne ? A to mArI kalpanAmAM ya nahIM ke AvAM atyAre brahmacArI pAke. A dAdAmAM eTalo badho tyAga varte che ke badhI ya jAtanA jIvo ahIM kheMcAIne Avaze. A dAdAnuM Page #199 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya ekeeka aMga tyAgavALuM che, ekeeka aMga pavitra che. eTale pachI enA hisAbe badhuM kheMcAI AvavAnuM. A kheMcANa zAnuM che ? sarakhe sarakhAnuM. praznakartA: kevI rIte ? dAdAzrI : guNo maLatA Ave ne, tethI ! kAraNa ke lohacuMbaka pittaLane nA kheMce ! A to magaja kAma nA kare evuM suMdara brahmacarya A loko pALe che. paNa A dAdAnuM vacanabaLa eTaluM suMdara che ke je AvuM suMdara kAma karI rahyuM che. jo ke Amane doravaNI bahu ApavI paDe che. haju to jarA DaphaDAvavA paDe che. Amane vastu ejhekTanesamAM AvI jAya, paNa tyAre vyavahAra kazuM samajatA ja nathI ne ! eTale Amane have ame vyavahAra zIkhavADa zIkhavADa karIe. vyavahAra nA hoya to koI kazuM bApo ya sAMbhaLe nahIM. vyavahAramAM pAsa nA thAya to, e vyavahAra ane gUMcavI nAkhe. koInuM kalyANa karavuM hoya to ya nA thAya. potAnuM to kalyANa thaI jAya, paNa bIjA koInuM kalyANa nA karI zake. e to vyavahAra hoya to ja bIjAnuM kalyANa karI zake. emanI zI bhAvanA che ke have amAre jagatakalyANamAM paDavuM che. eTale emane vyavahAra mukhya joIze. vyavahAra to kevo hovo joIe ke jJAnI puruSa Ama trADa pADe to mahAtmAmAM je roga hoya ne, te trADanI sAthe ja nIkaLI jAya. evI kahevata che ne, ke siMha trADa pADe tyAre ziyALa ne evAM bIjAM hiMsaka pazuoe mAMsAhAra karyuM hoya, te badhAnI UlaTI thaI jAya ! evI rIte jJAnI puruSano eka zabda sAMbhaLatAnI sAthe badhuM UlaTI thaI jAya, evo vyavahAra. Ama mAthe TApalI mAre ne hAtha aDADe to ya zuM nuM zuM karI nAkhe, enuM nAma vyavahAra ! vyavahAra eTale zuM ke emanA hAtha-paga badhe aDe, to ya kAma thaI jAya. paNa e to jJAnInI siddhi kahevAya. A to ApaNuM jJAna che te cAle, nahIM to gADuM ja cAle nahIM ne ! aTakI ja jAya gADuM. A jJAna ekadama jAgRti Ape ne pApo bhasmIbhUta karI nAkhe che. 338 samajathI prApta brahmacarya nizcaya saha vacanabaLato pAvara ! praznakartA : A badhA yuvAnone dAdAe je brahmacaryanI zaktinuM pradAna karyuM che. to bhaviSyamAM emane jyAre pUrvajanmanA saMskArone lIdhe kAma-vikAro jAgaze, tyAre e loko kaI rIte e saMyogomAM aDaga rahI zakaze ? emane zuM karavAnuM raheze, e badhuM phoDa pADo. badhAne lAbha thaze. - dAdAzrI : A 'jJAna' ApaNuM evuM che ke sarva vikArono nAza thAya che. ame vratanI vidhi karIe chIe, tyAre amAruM vacanabaLa kAma kare che. eno nizcaya Dagavo nA joIe. praznakartA H AmanuM je nizcayabaLa che, te 'vyavasthita'nA hAthamAM che ke emanA potAnA hAthamAM che ? dAdAzrI : "vyavasthita' jovAnuM nahIM. 'vyavasthita' enuM nAma ja kahevAya ke tamAruM nizcayabaLa ane amAruM vacanabaLa, e be bheguM thayuM ke enI meLe 'vyavasthita' cenja thAya. jJAnInuM vacanabaLa ekaluM ja vyavasthita'ne cenja kare evuM che. e saMsAramAM javA mATe ADI dIvAla jevuM che. eka phera ADI dIvAla nAkhI Ape ke pharI saMsAramAM jaI zake ja nahIM. praznakartA : Ape kahyuM ne, ke tamAro nizcaya ne amAruM vacanabaLa. e bemAM tAro nizcaya nA tUTe to, amAruM vacanabaLa kAma karyA kare. paNa jo e lokono nizcaya tUTe to ? - dAdAzrI : evuM kazuM tUTatuM ja nathI. evuM bane ja nahIM ane e to ahIMthI nIce gabaDI paDIe to marI ja jaIe ne ? emAM evo vicAra karIe chIe ke Ama paDIe to zuM thAya ? praznakartA : jo koInuM nizcayabaLa tUTyuM, to e 'vyavasthita' kahevAya ? ene zuM kahevuM ? dAdAzrI : 'potAno puruSArtha maMda che' ema kahevAya. praznakartA : AmAM 'vyavasthita' nA Ave ? Page #200 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 340 samajathI prApta brahmacarya samajathI prApta brahmacarya 339 dAdAzrI : ajJAnI mANasane mATe 'vyavasthita' che ema kahevAya ane jJAnI to pote puruSa thayo che, e have puruSArtha sahita che ! praznakartA : potAno nizcaya eTale ApaNe jo ema kahIe ke ApaNe ja badhuM karI zakIe ema che, to pachI ahaMkAra nA thaI gayo kahevAya ? to pachI A puruSArtha kahevAya ke ahaMkAra joDAyelo kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : nA. praznakartA H to e zuM kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : kazuM kahevAya nahIM. nizcaya eTale nizcaya !! ane te ApaNe pote kyAM karavAno che, e AtmAne karavAnuM nathI. A prajJA kahe che ke caMdreza, tame nizcaya barobara sTroMga rAkho. evuM che ne, ke jyArathI A lokoe A vrata lIdhuM, tyArathI emanI draSTi e bAju jatI ja nathI.. nahIM to amuka uMmare to so-so vakhata draSTi bagaDyA kare. praznakartA: A pAchalI je khoTo che, te nizcayanA AdhAre uDADI zakAya ? dAdAzrI : hA, badhI ja khoTo uDADI zakAya. nizcaya badhuM ja kAma kare. tyAre emane mohanuM vAtAvaraNa lagabhaga UDI jAya. nahIM to naryA mohanA vAtAvaraNamAM jyAre "rIja poInTa' para Ave, tyAre ene saDasaDATa uDADI mUke. eTale amuka pAMtrIsa varSa sudhI to enuM rakSaNa karavuM paDe. A to chokarAonA saMskAra sArA, pAchuM A jJAnanA pratApe eTaluM zuddhikaraNa thaI gayuM che, eTalA mATe A brahmacarya vrata ApIe chIe. kAraNa ke jeTalI pavitratA jaLavAya eTaluM to pAMsaruM rahe !! praznakartA : "rIja poInTa' para jo emane UDI javAnuM thAya, to pachI jJAnanuM bIja rahe ke pachI bIja paNa cAlyuM jAya ? dAdAzrI : jJAnanuM bIja paNa UDI jAya. paNa nakAmuM nA jAya, bIjA bhavamAM pAchuM "helpa" kare, eTale "helpa' to kare ja. ane A bhavamAM ja jo traNa-cAra vakhata pAchuM "jJAna" le ane pAcho pAMtrIsa varSanI uMmare pharI jJAna laI le to pAchuM rAge paDe ya kharuM. amArA nAmathI ane vacanabaLathI be-traNa varSa rahyuM to eTaluM cokhkhuM to raheze ane jyAre paiNavAnuM Ave tyAre joI levAze, paNa e pahelAM bagaDI to nA jAya. atyArano jamAno vicitra che. eTalA mATe ame A badhA chokarAone A brahmacarya vrata ApI daIe chIe ane e dabANathI ane amArA vacanabaLathI eTalo to cokhkho rahe. pachI paiNAve to ya ene cokhkhuM rahe ne ? nahIM to A to mANasa gUMcAI jAya evo vicitra jamAno che. keTalAMke to sajoDe brahmacarya vrata lIdhuM che ane jJAne ya lIdhuM che. eTale emano AnaMda ora ja ne ? ame brahmacarya vrata ApIe chIe, paNa sTebiliTI AvyA pachI ApIe. pachI tamArA karmanA udaya pelA Ave to paNa amAruM vacanabaLa kAma kare, paNa tamArI cokasAImAM khAmI nA AvavI joIe. praznakartA : enA karmanA udayamAM bhoga hoya, to e pachI emAM joDAya ke nA joDAya ? adhavacce karmano udaya AvI jAya to zuM kare? udaya bhAre Ave, tyAre te ApaNane halAvI nAkhe. have bhAre udayano artha zo ? ke ApaNe sTroMga rUmamAM beThA hoIe ane bahAra koka bUmAbUma karato hoya. pachI bhalene pAMca lAkha mANaso bumo pADatA hoya ke 'hama mAra DAleMge' tevuM bahArathI ja bUmo pADatA hoya, to ApaNane zuM karavAnA che ? e kone bUmo pADe. evI rIte jo AmAM ya sthiratA hoya to kazuM thAya evuM nathI, paNa sthiratA Dage ke pAchuM peluM coMTI paDe. eTale game tevA karmo AvI paDe tyAre sthiratApUrvaka "A mAruM nA hoya, huM zuddhAtmA chuM' ema karIne sTroMga rahevuM paDe. pachI pAchuM Ave kharuM ne thoDI vAra gUMcave. paNa ApaNI sthiratA hoya to kazuM thAya nahIM. A chokarAone, amAre be-pAMca vakhata vidhi karI ApavI paDe, - dAdAzrI : nA. jJAnIonuM vacanabaLa zuM kahevAya che, ke bhayaMkara karmone toDI nAkhe. potAno nizcaya jo nA Dage to bhayaMkara karmone toDI Page #201 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 342 samajathI prApta brahmacarya samajathI prApta brahmacarya 341 nAkhe. eTale e vacanasiddhi kahevAya jJAnIonI. paNa te vrata Ape nahIM koIne, A kaMI lADavA khAvAnA khela nathI. ame to badhI rIte enI cogaradamano TesTa karI pachI ja ApIe. brahmacaryavrata Ama nA apAya. e apAya evuM nathI, e ApavA jevI cIja nathI. paNa A chokarAo brahmacarya pALe che te mana-vacana-kAyAthI pALe che. manathI to bahAranA lokothI paLAya ja nahIM. vANIthI ne dehathI badhA pALe. ApaNuM A jJAna che ne, tenAthI manathI paNa paLAya. mana-vacanakAyAthI jo brahmacarya pALe to enAM jevI mahAna zakti bIjI utpanna thAya evI nathI. e zaktithI pachI amArI AjJA paLAya. nahIM to pelI brahmacaryanI zakti nA hoya to AjJA zI rIte paLAya ? brahmacaryanI zaktinI to vAta ja judI ne ?! A brahmacArIo taiyAra thAya che ne A brahmacAriNIo ya taiyAra thAya che. emanAM moDhA upara nUra Avaze pachI lipasTiko ne pAvaDara copaDavAnI jarUra nahIM rahe. he ya ! siMhanuM bALaka beTheluM hoya evuM lAge. tyAre jANIe ke nA, kaMIka che ! vItarAga vijJAna kevuM che ke jo pacyuM to siMhaNanuM dUdha pacyA barAbara che, to siMhanA bALaka jevo e lAge, nahIM to bakarI jevuM dekhAya !!! A to vItarAga vijJAna che, eTale ema ne ema siMha jevo dekhAya. haju A loko kaMI siMha jevA mane to nathI dekhAtA, paNa e lokono puruSArtha joradAra che ne ! ne sAco puruSArtha che, eTale e AvI ja jAya. badhuM prApta thaI zake ane pAchuM jJAna sAthe prApta thAya !!! AvuM jo koI brahmacarya pALe ne emanAM darzana kare to ya kalyANa thaI jAya. kAraNa ke jJAnI che ane joDe brahmacArI che, be sAthe che. emane keTalo AnaMda varte che ! ! jarA ya AnaMda ocho thato nathI. praznakartA : A loko paraNavAnI nA pADe che, to e aMtarAya karma nA kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : ApaNe ahIMthI bhAdaraNa jaIe, tethI karIne A bIjA gAma joDe ApaNe aMtarAya pADyA ? ene jyAM anukuLa Ave, tyAM e jAya. aMtarAya karma to kone kahevAya ke tame che te koIkane kazuMka ApatA ho, ne huM kahuM ke nA, ene ApavA jevuM nathI. eTale meM tamane AMtaryA, to mane pharI evI vastu maLe nahIM. mane e vastunA aMtarAya paDe. emAM karmabaMdhanA niyamo ! praznakartA : jo brahmacarya ja pALavuM hoya to, ene karma kahI zakAya ? dAdAzrI : hA, ene karma ja kahevAya ! enAthI karma to baMdhAya ! jyAM sudhI ajJAna che, tyAM sudhI karma kahevAya ! e pachI brahmacarya hoya ke abrahmacarya hoya. brahmacaryanI puNya baMdhAya ane abrahmacaryanuM pApa baMdhAya ! praznakartA: koI brahmacaryanI anumodanA ApatuM hoya, brahmacArIone puSTi Ape, emanA mATe badhuM. badhI rIte emane rasto karI Ape, to enuM phaLa zuM ? dAdAzrI : phaLane ApaNe zuM karavuM che ? ApaNe eka avatArI thaIne mokSamAM javuM che, have phaLane kyAM rAkhavAM ? e phaLamAM to so strIo maLe, evAM phaLane ApaNe zuM karavAnAM ? ApaNe phaLa joItuM nathI. phaLa khAvuM ja nathI ne have ! eTale mane to emaNe pahelethI pUchI lIdheluM, 'A badhuM karuM chuM, te mArI puNya baMdhAya ?" meM kahyuM, 'nahIM baMdhAya.' atyAre A badhuM DiscArja rUpe che ane bIja to badhAM zekAI jAya che. A javAna strI, javAna puruSo brahmacarya vrata le che. to emane kevuM sukha vartatuM haze ? ke AmAMthI chUTavAnAM bhAva thAya che ? A badhAM chokarAone kevuM sukha vartatuM haze ? AvAM pAMca ja chokarAo taiyAra thaI jAya to, te AkhA hindustAnamAM badhe pharI vaLe, dareka moTAM zaheramAM pharI vaLe, to badhuM bahu kAma thaI jAya. koI jagyAe bhAvabrahmacarya nA hoya. bahAranA loko je brahmacarya pALe che te ya vacananuM ane kAyAnuM, mananuM nahIM. AtmajJAna sivAya mananuM brahmacarya nA rahe. eTale ApaNuM A to sAyanTiphika vijJAna che, daraasala vijJAna che. A to Azcarya kahevAya ! Page #202 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 343 praznakartA : paNa e bIja paDe to, enuM phaLa sAruM hoya ne ? dAdAzrI : e sAruM hoya, to ya paNa ApaNane jarUra nathI ne ! zenA mATe e joIe ! enI jarUra ja nathI ne ane e badhuM viSayo ja UbhuM karanAruM hoya che. praznakartA : e kaI rIte ? dAdAzrI : badhI rIte, viSaya ja UbhuM karanAruM che. ApaNe to puNya kazuM nA joIe. ApaNe to je dAdAnI AjJAthI thAya e kharuM ane A to 'DiscArja" rUpe AvyuM che, jeTaluM Ave che ne, te ATalAM rUpiyA, AnAM pAI sAthe badho hisAba che. pachI to tamArI icchA haze to ya nahIM thAya. praznakartA : nA, paNa e kaMIka gayA bhavamAM bhAva karelo haze, to ja thAya ne ? ke A ja bhavanA bhAvathI thAya ? dAdAzrI : nA, e to gayA avatArano badho hisAba che. pariNAma che ane bIjuM tamAre karavuM hoya to ya nahIM thAya ! e ya ajAyabI che 344 samajathI prApta brahmacarya ya moLuM paDI jAya. ane A eno bhAva che ke mAre brahmacarya pALavuM ja che, enAthI majabUtI rahe. A akrama mArgamAM kartAbhAva keTalo che, keTale aMze che ke ame je AjJA ApI che ne, e AjJA pALavI eTalo ja kartAbhAva. koI paNa vastu pALavI ja paDe, tyAM eno kartAbhAva che. eTale 'brahmacarya pALavuM ja che.' AmAM pALavAnuM e kartAbhAva che, bAkI brahmacarya e DiscArja vastu che. praznakartA : paNa brahmacarya pALavuM e kartAbhAva che ? dAdAzrI : hA, pALavuM e kartAbhAva che. ane A kartAbhAvanuM phaLa emane AvatAM avatAramAM samyak puNya maLaze. eTale zuM ke saheje ya muzkelI sivAya badhI ja vastuo pAse AvIne paDe ane ema karatAM karatAM mokSe javAnuM. tIrthaMkaronAM darzana thAya ne tIrthakaronI pAse paDI rahevAno vakhata paNa maLe. eTale ene badhA saMjogo bahu suMdara hoya. amArI A sAyanTiphika zodhakhoLa che, bahu suMdara zodhakhoLa che ! paNa anAdinI kuTeva jatI nathI, mATe amAre A mUkavuM paDe che ke "brahmacarya pALo." bAkI, paiNavuM hoya to jJAnI puruSanI AjJA laIne paiNo. AzIrvAda lIdhA ane 'jJAnI puruSe kahyuM ke have tuM gRhastha jIvana jIvIza, pachI 'jJAnI puruSa'ne pUchavAnuM ja kyAM rahyuM ? pachI jJAnI puruSane ya kazo vAMdho nA rahyo. koIne mahIM evuM thAya ke mAre A pramANe nakkI karavuM che, to huM kahI dauM ke "paiNaje, paNa mArI AjJA laIne paiNaje.' pachI tArI javAbadArI nahIM. kAraNa ke strI paiNIne lAvyA, tene to ame game tema karIne paNa jJAnamAM laI jaIe, paNa haraiyA Dhora jevuM thayuM. to te pachI yujhalesa vastu che. tyAM ja badhA pAkhaMDa che. AkhA jagatanuM kapaTa tyAM che. jyAre paiNIne lAvaze temAM pAkhaMDa nathI, temAM kapaTa nathI. AnI jagatanAM loko niMdA nA kare. praznakartA : brahmacarya mATe kudaratanI helpa ane pAchaLanA saMskAra kaMI kAma kare che ? ne ! tyAgIo pAchA bhAvanA bhAve che. manamAM ema thAya ke AkhI jiMdagI tyAgamAM ne tyAgamAM gaI, AmAM to mahAduHkha che, enA karatAM to saMsArI rahelA sArAM. sevAcAkarI karanAruM to maLe. paiDapaNamAM du:kha Ave tyAre AvI bhAvanA bhAve eTale pAcho saMsArI thAya ne saMsArI thAya eTale brahmacarya kazuM rahe ja nahIM. brahmacarya, cArja ke DiscArja ? praznakartA : A badhA je brahmacArIo thaze, e 'DiscArja'mAM ja gaNAya ne ? dAdAzrI : hA, DiscArjamAM ja ne ! paNa A DiscArjanI joDe emano bhAva che, te mahIM cArja che. che DiscArja, paNa enI mahIM bhAva e cArja che ane bhAva hoya to ja majabUtI rahe ne ! nahIM to DiscArja haMmezAM Page #203 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 345 dAdAzrI : hA, kare. e to bahu saMskAra laIne Avelo hoya, AjubAjunAM gharanAM mANaso sArA saMskArI hoya. pUrvanA saMskAro hoya tyAre gharanAM mANaso sArAM maLI Ave. enuM mana evuM nahIM sarasa majabUta hoya ne cogaradamathI badhA ya saMjogo bAjhelA hoya. A kaMI ema ne ema gamyuM ochuM che ? eka mANasa karoDa rUpiyA kamAIne lAvyo to ya te gamyuM nathI hotuM, to A ya kaMI gamyuM che ?!. viSaya tUTe, sAmAvALiyA thayethI ! praznakartA ravivAranA upavAsane ane brahmacArIone zuM 'kanekazana' che ? ravivArano upavAsa emane zAthI karavAno ? dAdAzrI : e to kahevAthI kare che. dAdAne sAteya vAra joDe kaMI levAdevA nathI, rAga-dveSa nathI. e to amArA moDhAmAMthI nIkaLI jAya e vAra sAro ane ko'ka vakhate koI jamADanArAnA manamAM ema thAya ke mAre tyAM sAruM sAruM jamavAnuM banAvyuM che ne AvA saMta puruSo jamavAnA rahI jAya che, jamatA nathI. tyAre amAre A lokone kahevuM paDe ke Aje jamajo. eka TAIma jamavAnI ame AjJA karIe, eTale pelA gharavALAne du:kha thAya nahIM. hA, bIjI vakhata jamo to te nA cAle. ApaNe kaMI A zarIrane bahu kaSTa nahIM ApavAnuM, normAliTImAM rAkhavAnuM che. tethI deha tejadAra thAya, bhabhakAdAra thAya. praznakartA : zarIra jarA puSTa bane evuM rAkhavAnuM kharuM ? dAdAzrI : nA, puSTa nahIM. paNa tejadAra hovuM joIe, je 'sTAnDarDa vajana hoya teTaluM rAkhavuM. A ravivArano upavAsa zene mATe kare che ? viSayano sAmo thayo che. viSaya mArA bhaNI Ave ja nahIM, eTalA mATe viSayano sAmAvALiyo thayo tyArathI ja nirviSayI thayo. A huM Amane viSayanA sAmAvALiyA ja karuM chuM. kAraNa ke AmanAthI ema viSaya chUTe evo nathI, A to badhAM cIbhaDAM kahevAya, A to duSamakALanAM khadabadatAM cIbhaDAM kahevAya. AmanAthI kazuM chUTe nahIM, tethI to pachI bIjA rastA karavAM paDe ne ? 346 samajathI prApta brahmacarya have tane, tuM pote 'viSayano sAmovALiyo chuM' evuM lAge che ne ? praznakartA : hA. dAdAzrI : ApaNe viSayanA sAmAvALiyA thaIe, to zuM rahe ApaNI pAse ? praznakartA : brahmacarya rahe. dAdAzrI : saMyama dhAraNa karavo e to bahu moTI vastu che. A to 'jJAnI'nI AjJAthI saMyama dhAraNa thaze. nahIM to A mArga vyavahAra saMyamano nathI, A to jJAna mArga che. A to ame AjJA ApIne saMyama karAvIe chIe. saMyama AjJAthI thAya. AjJAmAM varte eTale saMyama thAya. praznakartA : A badhAne AtmAno AnaMda ne ullAsa eTalAM badhA vadhArI Apo ke bIje sukha khoLavA ja javuM na paDe. dAdAzrI : e to khUba vadhArI ApyAM che, paNa haju to A lokone aMdarakhAne abhiprAya rahe che ke A viSayamAM ThIka che, A sAruM che. te A abhiprAya badhA huM toDuM chuM. eka akSarano ya abhiprAya nA rakhAya. praznakartA : badhAne evo abhiprAya ocho hoya ? dAdAzrI : evo to ko'ka ja hoya. te ya pAMsarA nA maLe. mana to bagaDelAM hoya emanAM ya, deha bagaDelo nA hoya, to ya pAMsarA to nA ja kahevAya ne ?! praznakartA : ApaNA AkhA mana-vacana-kAyA-citta-buddhi-ahaMkAra badhe AtmAno ullAsa kema vyApI jato nathI pUrepUro ? dAdAzrI : hA, vyApI jAya che, paNa bhogave che kyAM ? haju to pelI pAchalI khoTo che. pAchaluM je pUraNa kareluM, te galana thAya che, temAM ekAkAra thaI jAya che. jalebI tamAre khAvI hoya teTalI khAva, bAkInI bIjI jalebI tame nAkhI do, to jalebI tamArI upara kaMI dAvo mAMDe ? praznakartA : paNa viSaya kevI rIte dAvo mAMDe ? Page #204 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya dAdAzrI : e to tamane ema lAge ke sAmo dAvo nathI mAMDatuM. sAmo mANasa dAvo nA mAMDe to teno ya kaMI savAla nathI, paNa e to paramANuo dAvo mAMDe che ane A paramANuonI to eTalI badhI iphekTa thAya che ke ohoho, kaMI ajaba iphekTa thAya che !! 347 praznakartA : paNa e paramANuonuM to tame kaho cho ne, ke jUnuM laIne AvyA che eTale e pramANe asara to thatI haze ne ? dAdAzrI : mAruM zuM kahevAnuM che ke asara thatI hoya to ya tame enAthI cheTA raho, enA duzmana thaI jAva ke jethI emAM mitratA nA rahe, nahIM to e tamane dhavaDAvI dhavaDAvIne pAchA pADI nAMkhaze !! ame viSayanI vAta karI tyAre AmaNe pahelAmAM paheluM kahyuM ke A viSayanuM sevana e khoTuM che, evuM amane Aje jJAna thayuM. lokone to 'A khoTuM che' evuM ya jJAna nathI. are, bhAna ja nathI ne ! jAnavaromAM ne AmanAmAM phera keTalo che ? amuka ja TakAno, lAMbo phera ja nathI. eTale 'A khoTuM che' ema jANavuM to paDaze ne ?! praznakartA : 'viSayonuM sevana e khoTuM che' evuM to moTA bhAganA hindustAnamAM badhA jANe che. dAdAzrI : nA, badhAne khabara nathI. haju to tamane ya khabara nathI ne ! 'zuM khoTuM che ?' enI khabara nA paDe. tame tamArI samajaNa pramANe ene khoTuM mAno ke 'ohoho, miyAM-bIbI rAjI to kyA karegA kAjI' evuM tame samajo cho. are, miyAM-bIbI lAkha rAjI hoya to ya paNa emAM jokhama zuM che ? e tame nA samajo. ane paiNata ane haraiyuM, emAM zuM phera che ? e tame nA samajo. paiNata ke haraiyuM badhI jokhamadArI ja che. AmAM jokhamadArInuM bhAna che koIne ? jokhamadArInuM bhAna to ekalo huM ja jANuM chuM. haraiyo zabda nA samaje mANasa, e pachI kyAM jAya ? narkagatinA adhikArI thAya. paiNavuM ja hoya to paiNone, dasa paiNo. tenI koNa nA pADe che ! paNa draSTi badhe bagADe che te jokhama che ane e to haraiyA Dhora jevI avasthA kahevAya. deha haraiyuM nA hoya, to mana haraiyuM hoya. eTale atyAra sudhI je bhUlo thaI hoya, tenuM samajathI prApta brahmacarya pratikramaNa karI karIne ya cokhkhuM karI nAkhavuM ane ene mApha karAvavAnuM mArI pAse hathiyAra che. pachI navesarathI cokhkhuM rahe. AlocatA, AptapuruSa pAse ja ! praznakartA : ApanI pAse evA loko Ave che ke je potAnA pAchalA doSo thayA hoya tenI ApanI pAse AlocanA kare, to Apa ene choDAvo cho ? 348 dAdAzrI : mArI pAse AlocanA kare eTale mArI sAthe abheda thayo kahevAya. amAre to choDAvavA ja paDe. AlocanA karavAnuM sthaLa ja nathI, jo strIne kahevA jAya to strI caDhI bese, bhaIbaMdhane kahevA jaIe to bhaIbaMdha caDhI bese, potAnI jAtane kahevA jaIe to jAta caDhI bese ulaTuM, eTale koIne kahe nahIM. ane halakuM thavAtuM nathI. eTale ame AlocanAnI sisTama (paddhati) rAkhI che. praznakartA : jJAnI puruSa samakSa A bhavamAM je doSo ApaNe karyA hoya, tenI mAphI mAMgI zakAya ? dAdAzrI : hA. e doSo pachI moLA thaI jAya. jJAnI puruSa pAse AlocanA karavAmAM Ave, te pote moDhe kahe to uttama. amane rUbarU kahe, badhAnI hAjarImAM kahe e orkesTrA klAsa. pachI tame kaho ke nA, huM ekalo hoIza, tyAre dAdAne kahIza, e pharsTa klAsa. ane pachI tame kaho ke dAdA moDhe nahIM kahuM, kAgaLamAM ApIza, to sekanDa klAsa. ane tame kaho kAgaLamAM ya nahIM, huM manamAM tyAM ne tyAM ghera karI laIza, e tharDa klAsa. je klAsamAM besavuM hoya tene chUTa che. paNa badhAne mArI joDe ekatA AvI jAya che kAraNa ke hArTa 'pyaoNra' ja che ne ! mane to abheda ja lAge badhA. ane potAnuM je ephIDevITa (gunAnI kabUlAta) lakhe che, temAM eke ya doSa lakhavAno bAkI nathI rAkhatAM. paMdara varSanI uMmarathI mAMDIne cAlIsa varSanI uMmara thaI tyAM sudhInA badhA ja doSo lakhIne ApI de che, A chokarAM, chokarIo badhAM ya jAhera karI de che. jene doSa kADhavA hoya teNe amArI pAse AlocanA karavI joIe. Page #205 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 349 jene bahu moTo doSa thayo hoya ane e doSa kADhavo hoya, to mArI pAse AlocanA kare to AlocanA karatAMnI sAthe ja tenuM mana mArI pAse baMdhAI gayuM. pachI ame bhagavAnanI kRpA utArIe ane ene cokhkho karI ApIe. amArI pAse AlocanA lakhI lAve. te jeTalA jeTalA doSa e pote jANato hoya, e badhA ja doSa AmAM lakhe che. te pachI eka jaNa nahIM, hajAro mANasa ! have e doSonuM ame zuM karIe chIe ? eno kAgaLa vAMcI, enI para vidhi karIne pAchAM enA hAthamAM ApIe chIe. te ene keTalo vizvAsa ! varlDamAM nA banyA hoya evA doSo lakhe che ! doSo vAMcIne ja tamane ema thaI jAya ke arere, A te kevAM doSa ?! AvA hajAro mANasoe potAnA doSa lakhI ApelA. strIoe badhA doSa UghADA karIne kahelAM che, saMpUrNa doSa. sAta dhaNIo karyA hoya to, sAteyanA nAma sAthe lakhelA hoya, bolo have amAre zuM karavuM ahIM ? vAta saheja bahAra paDI to e ApaghAta karI nAkhe, to amAre jokhamadArI bahu Ave. sAcI AlocanA karI nathI mANase. te ja mokSe jatAM roke che. gunAno vAMdho nathI. sAcI AlocanA thAya to kazo vAMdho nathI. ane AlocanA gajabanAM puruSa pAse karAya. potAnA doSonI koI jagyAe AlocanA karI che jiMdagImAM ? konI pAse AlocanA kare ? ane AlocanA karyA vagara chUTako nathI. jyAM sudhI AlocanA nA karo to Ane mApha koNa karAve ? have to devuM cUkavI do ! jene kaMI paNa joItuM hoya to tene amArA vacanabaLathI prApta thaI jAya evuM che. atyAra sudhI thayelA tamAma doSa huM dhoI naMkhAvaDAvuM hatuM. have devuM kADhI ApatA hoya to sAruM ke nahIM ? pachI navesarathI devuM karo nahIM, paNa atyAra sudhInuM devuM kADhI nAkhyuM eTale badhI bhAMjagaDa UDI gaI ne ?! nahIM to eka phera devuM thAya eTale e vadhAre ne vadhAre devAmAM utAre. zuM kahe ke haze, ATalAM nAdAra thayA to ATalAM vadhAre. pachI saravALe zuM 350 samajathI prApta brahmacarya Ave ? dukAna harAja thAya. kharI rIte A vijJAna evuM che ke tame Ama karo ke tema karo' evuM kazuM bolAya nahIM, paNa A to kALa evo che ! eTale amAre A kahevuM paDe che. A jIvonAM ThekANAM nahIM ne ? A jJAna laIne UlaTo UMdhe raste cAlyo jAya. eTale amAre kahevuM paDe che ane te ya amAruM vacanabaLa hoya pachI vAMdho nahIM. amArA vacanathI kare eTale ene rtApadanI jokhamadArI nahIM ne ! ame kahIe ke 'tame Ama karo.' eTale tamArI jokhamadArI nahIM ane mArI jokhamadArI AmAM rahetI nathI !!! e pAme paramAtma pada ! praznakartA : jyAre kasoTI thAya ane je saMyama pALe, te saMyama kahevAya. jyAre viSayanA vAtAvaraNamAM Ave ane emAMthI ja pasAra thAya to kahevAya ke Ane saMyama che. dAdAzrI : paNa viSaya bAjunA vicAro koI dahADo nA AvatA hoya to, enI vAta ja judI ne ! kAraNa ke pUrva bhave bhAvanA karI hoya to vicAra nA Ave. amane bAvIsa-bAvIsa varSathI viSayano vicAra ja nathI Avyo, jJAna thatAM pahelAMnA be varSa to viSayano vicAra suddhAM nahIM Avelo. amArAthI viSaya-vikArI saMbaMdha nahotA thayA. vikArI saMbaMdhamAM amane e mithyAbhimAna hatuM ke amArAthI A nA thAya. amArA kuLanA abhimAnathI A ghaNuM sacavAI gayeluM. eTale brahmacarya e UMcAmAM UMcI vastu che. enA jevI koI UMcI vastu ja nathI ne ! have anupama pada choDI upamAvALuM pada koNa le ? jJAna che to pelo AkhA jagatano eMThavADo koNa aDe ? jagatane priya evAM je viSayo e jJAnI puruSane eMThavADo lAge. A jagatano nyAya kevo che ke jene lakSmI saMbaMdhI vicAra nA hoya, viSaya saMbaMdhI vicAra nA hoya, je dehathI niraMtara chUTo ja raheto hoya, tene jagata bhagavAna kahyA vagara rahe nahIM !! Page #206 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ upara samajathI prApta brahmacarya mahIM gaMdavADo che ? darekanAmAM gaMdavADo haze ke keTalAMka cokhkhA haze, mINa jevAM ? praznakartA : darekanAmAM gaMdavADo che. dAdAzrI : A dAdAjImAM hau gaMdavADo che. dAdAjI eTale 'dAdA bhagavAna' e judA che ane A 'e. ema. paTela' judA che. paTelamAM gaMdavADo ja hoya, 'dAdA bhagavAna'mAM gaMdavADo nA hoya. A zarIramAM Avo badho gaMdavADo che evI jAgRti rahe, to game tevAM rUpALA dekhAya to ya moha utpanna thAya kharo ? praznakartA : nA thAya. dAdAzrI : e jAgRti nathI, teno A moha utpanna thAya che ane e mohamAMthI pachI naya duHkho ja badhAM UbhAM thAya che. nahIM to du:kha te hotuM haze ? ane koI kaheze ke tyAre lagna zuM kAma karo cho ? tyAre huM kahuM ke lagna to karavuM paDe, pharajiyAta karavuM paDe. ApaNI icchA nA hoya to ya corImAM besADI de, to zuM thAya ? besADe ke nA besADe ? [18] dAdA Ape puSTi, AptaputrIone ! praznakartA : besADe. moha Avare jAgRtine ! jagata jANatuM ja nathIne ke A rezamI cAdarathI vIMTeluM che badhuM? potAne je gamato nathI e ja kacaro, A rezamI cAdarathI vIMTelo che. e tamane lAge che ke nathI lAgatuM ? eTaluM samaje to naryo vairAga ja Ave ne ? eTaluM bhAna nathI rahetuM. tethI ja A jagata AvuM cAle che. ne ? evI koIne jAgRti haze A bahenomAMthI ? koI mANasa rUpALo dekhAto hoya ne ene chole to zuM nIkaLe ? praznakartA : lohI-mAMsa ne e badhuM nIkaLe. dAdAzrI : mAMsa-paruM evuM badhuM ne ?! ane rUpa kyAM gayuM pachI ? AvAM badhA vicAra nathI karyA, tene lIdhe A moha che ne ?! praznakartA : hA, evuM ja lAge che. dAdAzrI : hA, juone kevI phasAmaNa !!! vicAra kare to phasAmaNa jevuM nathI lAgatuM, bahena ?! buddhithI vAta sAcI lAge che ne, ke A badho dAdAzrI : badhA bhegA thaIne besADe ne ? 'sAyanTiphika sarakamasTenziyala eviDansa' besADe, emAM chUTako ja nahIM. e bhogavaTo to badho bhogavavo ja paDe. bAkI, nA paiNavuM hoya to lapharuM koNa UbhuM kare ? paiNavuM hoya to kudaratI chUTako ja nathI. nahIM to vagara kAmanuM rAjIkhuzIthI koI lapharuM UbhuM ja nA kare ne ? koI kare ? A vAtathI badhI bahenone samaja paDe che ne ? koI chokaro sArAM kapaDAM-bapaDAM paherIne, nekaTAI-bekaTAI paherIne bahAra jato hoya, te mUAne kApe to zuM nIkaLe ? tuM amatho zuM kAma nekaTAI pahera pahera kare che ? mohavALA lokone bhAna nathI. te rUpALo joIne mUMjhAI jAya bicArA ! jyAre mane to badhuM ughADuM ArapAra dekhAya. A badhA mANaso kapaDAM kADhIne phare to tane kharAba nA lAge ? Page #207 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 553 praznakartA : bahu kharAba lAge. dAdAzrI: eTale A kapaDAMne lIdhe sArAM dekhAya che. kapaDAM vagereya pachI sArAM dekhAya ? A kapaDAM vagara to gAyo, bheMso, bakarIo, kUtarAMo badhAM ja sArAM dekhAya, paNa mANaso sArAM na dekhAya. have AvuM jJAna ja koI Ape nahIM ne ? AvI vigatavAra samajaNa ja koI pADe nahIM ne ? pachI moha ja utpanna thAya ne !! dAdAjI to kahetA hatA ke A to badhuM Avo gaMdavADo che, pachI moha zeno utpanna thAya ? koI bahena ke bhAI game tevA paTiyA pADIne pharato hoya, to ApaNane zuM emAM ? mahIM cIre tyAre zuM nIkaLe emAMthI ? A jema dUdhI cholIe chIe, tema ene cholIe tyAre zuM thAya ? mahIM kacaro dekhAya ne ? ko'kane ahIM paru thayuM hoya te ApaNane kahe ke lo, A dhoI Apo. to te tane game ? ene to aDavAnuM ja nA game ne ? ane koI bhAIbaMdha hoya ane paruM nA thayeluM hoya to tane Ama hAtha aDADavAnuM game ne ? paNa A to mahIM kacaro ja mAla bharelo che. ene to hAthe ya aDADAya nahIM. moha karavA jevuM jagata che ja kyAM? paNa evuM vicAryuM ja nathI ! koIe kahyuM nathI !! mAbApa paNa zaramanA mAryA kahe nahIM. pote phasAyelAM, te badhAne phasAvyA kare. A dAdAjI phasAyA nathI eTale badhAMne ughADuM kahI de, ke "jo, A raste phasAzo. A rastA nathI sArA. A to bhayaMkara mArga che.' dAdAjI Ama lAla vAvaTo dhare ke 'bhaI, A pula paDavAno thayo che.' pachI gADIne AgaLa nA javA do ne ? pa54 samajathI prApta brahmacarya A benane ya manamAM bhAvanA thAya ke A badhA ya vrata le che ne huM lauM, to huM nA pADuM ene. cha mahine-bAra mahine jyAre saMjoga bese tyAre paiNI jA. ame AzIrvAda ApIzuM ane pachI tAro lAbha thAya evo rasto karI ApIza. ane sAro lAbha thaze. A mUMjhavaNa thaI, te mUMjhavaNa koI choDI Apaze nahIM. huM to chokarIone nA pADuM. jJAnamAM rahetI hoya to ya nA pADuM. praznakartA : hA, emAM dekhAdekhI karavA jevuM nathI. dAdAzrI : puruSane to nabhAvI levAya. kAraNa ke puruSane to bIjo bhaya nahIM ne, Ane to bIjA bhaya nA hoya to ko'ka saLI kare. paiNavAto AdhAra nizcaya para ! praznakartA: nA paiNavAno ame nizcaya karIe, to pachI 'vyavasthita' evuM Ave? dAdAzrI : nA paiNavAno jabarajasta nizcaya hoya to paiNavAnuM nA Ave. te paNa nizcaya pAcho bIje dahADe bhUlI jaIe evo nA hovo joIe. nizcaya konuM nAma kahevAya ke niraMtara yAda rahyA kare. nizcaya bhUlI, gayA eTale pachI paiNavAnuM Avaze e vAta nakkI che. nizcaya bhUlAyo nahIM, to paiNavAnuM nahIM Ave enI huM geranTI lakhI ApuM. kAraNa ke je gAma ApaNe javuM che e to bhUlAvuM nA joIe ne ? ApaNe bombe senTrala javuM hoya to pachI e bhUlI jaIe to cAle ? e to yAda rahevuM joIe ne ? ema ApaNe 'nathI paiNavuM" evo je nizcaya karyo che, e nizcaya bhUlAya nahIM, eTale ene paiNavAnuM Ave ja nahIM. pelA badhA paiNAvA phare, chokaro khoLI lAve, toya kudarata tAla khAvA nA de. bAkI A saMsAra to naryo du:khano samudra ja che, eno pAra nA Ave. doSa, AMkhato ke ajJAtatAto ?! have A jJAna badhuM hAjara raheze ne ? e to ApaNane hAjara ja hajI nAnI uMmara tamArI, temAM eka phera ja phasAyA pachI chaTakavuM bahu ja muzkela che. mATe pahelethI cetIne cAlavuM. bahAra to jagata jovA jevuM ja nathI. phrenDazipa karavA jevuM jagata ja nathI. evuM mane lAgyuM ? praznakartA : hA. dAdAzrI : paiNavA jevuM ya jagata nathI, paNa paiNavAnuM to ApaNe chUTako ja nathI. e ApaNA hAthamAM ja nahIM ne ! ApaNe nA paiNavuM hoya to ya mArI raDAvI karIne corImAM besADe. e to pharajiyAta che, daMDa che eka jAtano. e to bhogavyA vagara chUTako ja nA thAya, e 'vyavasthita' che. Page #208 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 355 rahevuM joIe ke A chole to zuM dekhAya ? A AMkhano svabhAva che kheMcAI javuM. evI rUpALI mUrti dekhene, to AMkhane AkarSaNa thAya. A AkarSaNa zI rIte thayuM ? tyAre kahe ke pUrvabhavano hisAba che, ApaNe AkarSaNa nA karavuM hoya to ya thayA kare. AkarSaNa e DiscArja thatI vastu che. eTale jyAM AkarSaNa thAya tyAM AgaLa ApaNe jJAna hAjara karavuM ke dAdAjIe kahyuM che ke cAmaDI chole to zuM nIkaLe ? eTale vairAga Ave ne pachI mana tUTI jAya, nahIM to AkarSaNa joDe mana eDajasTa thayuM to khalAsa karI nAkhe. lapharAM ja vaLagI jAya. lapharAM vaLage eTale pachI chuTe nahIM, sAta-sAta avatAra sudhI nA chUTe, evuM vera bAMdhe. paNa ApaNe to mokSe javuM che. mokSe javAvALAne AvA lapharAvALo vepAra poSAya ja nahIM. je mAla ApaNane joIto nathI, badhI halavAIvALAnI dukAno hoya paNa ApaNane kazuM levuM nA hoya, to ApaNe ene jo jo karIe chIe ? praznakartA : nA. dAdAzrI : evI rIte strIe puruSone jovA nA joIe ane puruSa strIone jovI nA joIe. kAraNa ke e ApaNA kAmanI nathI. dAdAjI kahetA hatA ke A ja kacaro che, pachI emAM zuM jovAnuM rahyuM ? eka phero eka moTA saMta agAsImAM beThA beThA pustaka vAMcatA hatA. koI sAmA makAnanI bArImAM eka bahena UbhI haze, te emaNe ene joI. eTale emanI AMkha kheMcAI ane e to vicArazIla mANasa, eTale manamAM thayuM ke A kema thAya che ? Ama nA thavuM joIe. pachI pAchuM vAMcavA mAMDyuM, paNa pAchI AMkha kheMcAI. eTale emane thayuM ke A to bahu khoTuM kahevAya. eTale tarata tyAMthI UThIne rasoDAmAM gayA ane rasoDAmAM jaIne lAla maracuM vATeluM hatuM te AMkhamAM nAkhyuM. A emaNe sAruM karyuM ? e AMkhano doSa che ? kono doSa che ? praznakartA : manano doSa che. dAdAzrI : nA, ajJAnatAno doSa che. ajJAna che tethI ne ? have AMkhamAM maracuM nAkhyuM tevuM emanA koI ziSyo zIkhyA nahIM. ziSyo 356 samajathI prApta brahmacarya jANatA hatA ke guru mahArAja Imozanala thaI gayA haze ne maracuM nAkhyuM haze, ApaNe nA naMkhAya, bApa ! AMkhamAM maracuM nAkhe phAyado zo thAya ? enAM karatAM mArI vAta yAda rahI hoya to moha ja utpanna nA thAya ne ? ane kharekhara ema ja che. A kaMI gamyuM che ? praznakartA : AMkha kheMcAya, paNa vikArI bhAva nA hoya to ? dAdAzrI : to vAMdho nahIM. vikArI bhAva to ApaNAmAM nA hoya, paNa sAmAnAmAM hoya tyAre zuM thAya ? mATe kheMcANamAM phasAvuM nahIM. AMkha kheMcAya tyAMthI cheTA rahevuM. bIje badhe jyAM sIdhI AMkho hoya tyAM badho vahevAra karavo. AMkha kheMcAya tyAM jokhama che, lAla vAvaTo che. ApaNAmAM vikArI bhAva nA hoya, paNa pelA sAmAnuM zuM thAya ? badhe kheMcANa nathI thatuM ne ? praznakartA : nA. dAdAzrI : eTale kheMcANanA kAyadA che ke amuka jagyAe ja kheMcANa hoya, kaMI badhe kheMcANa nA hoya. have A kheMcANa zI rIte thAya che, te tamane kahIM dauM. A bhavamAM kheMcANa nA thatuM hoya, chatAM koI bhaIne dekhyo, te ApaNA manamAM evuM thAya ke, "ohoho, A bhaI keTalo rUpALo che, dekhAvaDo che.' evuM ApaNane thayuM ke tenI sAthe ja AvatAM bhavanI gAMTha paDI gaI. enAthI AvatAM bhave kheMcANa thAya. zenuM rUpa ? A chole to zuM nIkaLe ? rUpa konuM nAma kahevAya ke chole to ya kharAba nA nIkaLe. A rUpa to jovA jevuM nathI. A hIrAnuM rUpa barobara che. ene cholIe to kazuM ya nA thAya, emAM gaMdavADo nahIM ne ?! sonAnuM, cAMdInuM rUpa barobara che. A manuSyanA to guNo hoya che, paNa te kevA guNo hoya ? saMsArI guNo. saMsArI guNo vakhANavA jAya pachI AkarSaNa thAya. eTale A dhArmika guNo, jJAnanA guNo vakhANe, te vAta judI che. bAkI vakhANavA jevuM jagata nathI, eka zuddhAtmA ekalo ja samajavA jevo che.. nizcaya enuM nAma kahevAya ke bhUlAya nahIM. ApaNe zuddhAtmAno Page #209 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ 357 samajathI prApta brahmacarya nizcaya karyo che, te bhUlAya nahIM ne ? thoDI vAra bhUlI jaIe, paNa lakSamAM ja hoya pAchuM, enuM nAma nizcaya kahevAya. koInI joDe ApaNe phrenDazipa paNa nA karIe, bahu ghAla-mela nA rAkhIe. A to eka phero lapharAM vaLagyAM pachI lapharuM chUTuM nA thAya. 'jenuM nididhyAsana kare, tevo AtmA thAya. je je avasthA sthita thaye, vyavasthita citarAya." nididhyAsana eTale ke "A bahena dekhAvaDI che ke A bhAI dekhAvaDo che." evo vicAra karyo, e nididhyAsana thayuM eTalI vAra. vicAra karyo ke tarata ja nididhyAsana thAya. pachI evo pote thaI jAya. eTale ApaNe joIe to A Dakho thAya ne ? enA karatAM AMkha nIce DhALI devI joIe, AMkha mAMDavI ja nA joIe. AkhuM ya jagata phasAmaNa che. phasAyA pachI to chUTakAro ja nathI. AkhI jiMdagIonI jiMdagI khalAsa thAya, paNa eno "enDa ja nathI ! paiNyA vagara to cAle ema nathI ane paiNavAnuM to jANe ke maLaze, paNa A bIjAM lapharAM to UbhAM nA karIe. lapharAmAM bahu du:kha che. paiNavAmAM kaMI eTaluM badhuM duHkha nathI. paiNavAnuM to eka jAtano vepAra mAMDyo kahevAya. keTalIka strIo nathI kahetI ke vepAra mAMDyo ? te vepAra pAcho pUro thaI jAya; eTale paiNavAnuM to eka jagyAe hoya ja, hisAba lakhelo ja hoya, paNa bIjA lapharAMno pAra nA Ave. A je badhI dAdAjIe vAta karI e bhUlAze ke tane ? ghera jAya to ya nA bhUlAya ? praznakartA : mahIM Tepa karavAno nizcaya karyo che. dAdAzrI : hA, barAbara che. ame to tamane nahIM Thokara nA vAge eTale sudhI badhuM dekhADIe. pachI tame jANI-joIne amArA zabdo oLaMgo to Thokara vAge, pachI to A jJAna paNa jatuM rahe, A jJAna TheTha mokSe laI jAya evuM che. A saMsAramAM te sukha hotuM haze ? sukha to A AtmAnI vAta karIe chIe, emAM Ave che ne ? emAM sukha che. 358 samajathI prApta brahmacarya paiNyA vagara to chUTako ja nahIM ne ? evuM tuM samaje ke nahIM ? ApaNAM mAbApa ane badhAM bhegAM thaIne paiNAvI ja de. ApaNI icchA nA hoya to ya paiNAvI de. ApaNI zAthI icchA nA hoya ? ke ApaNe eka sempala joyuM hoya, te sempala AnA karatAM jarA rUpALuM dekhAtuM hoya eTale peluM game ane A nA game. alyA, e paNa sempala che ane A paNa sempala che. beune chole tyAre mahIM zuM nIkaLe ? te potAne pelA sempalamAM ja jIva rahyA kare ke peluM kevuM sarasa hatuM ane mArA phAdhara A lAvyA, te kevuM kadarUpuM ! praznakartA : zarIranI vAta javA daIe. jo mANasanuM mana sAruM keLavAyeluM hoya to emAM phera nA paDe ? dAdAzrI : e keLavAyeluM mana to amuka ja mANasanuM hoya. badhAM lokonAM mana keLavAyelAM hoya nahIM ne ? A badhA loko phare che temanA mana kazA keLavAyelAM nahIM, e to dagaDumana. tethI ame A keLavaNI karIe. tyAra pachI phasAya nahIM. nahIM to keLavaNI nA hoya to pachI phasAI jAya. A jagata to zikArI che, zikAra khoLe che. AkhuM jagate ya zikAra karavA nIkaLyuM che. lakSmInA, viSayonA, badhAnA jyAM ne tyAM zikAra ja khoLa khoLa kare che. A bahenonI uMmara nAnI ne A jJAna nA maLe to keTaluM badhuM jokhama che ! eka phera phasAyA pachI AmAMthI nIkaLavuM mahAmuzkela che. pachI to lapharuM vaLagyuM. have A phasAmaNa che, lapharuM che evuM jANI gayA ne ? 'lapharuM jo jANI kahyuM, to chUTuM paDatuM jAya." eno zo artha tamane samajAyo ? eka bhAI kaoNlejamAM bhaNato hato. te pArasI leDI joDe pharavA mAMDyo. e jaina hato eTale enA bApe zuM kahyuM, 'A te lapharuM kyAMthI vaLagADyuM che ?" eTale chokaro kahe ke, "mArI phrenDane tame lapharuM kaho cho ? tame kevA mANasa cho ?" A chokaro kahe che, enuM kAraNa ? jyAM sudhI tene "A lapharuM che" e samajaNa paDI nathI, 'A phrenDa ja che" evuM jANavAmAM Ave che tyAM sudhI lapharuM bheguM thayA kare. paNa eka dahADo jyAre Page #210 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 359 teNe joyuM ke e pArasaNa bIjA eka jaNanI joDe pharatI hatI, eTale pelAnA manamAM vahema paDyo ke "A to lapharuM che.' mArA pappAjI kahetA hatA, te sAcI vAta che. jyArathI eNe jANyuM ke "A lapharuM che', tyArathI e enI meLe chUTuM paDI jAya. A jJAna kevuM haze ? ke lapharuM jANe tyArathI chUTuM paDatuM jAya. kaoNlejamAM loko lapharAM vaLagADe evAM hoya che ne ? praznakartA : hA. dAdAzrI: e tane khabara paDe ne, ke pelAne ahIM lapharuM che ? badhI khabara paDe. eTale ApaNe A bAju eTaluM zIkhI javuM joIe ke ApaNI sephasAIDa zemAM che ? A dAdAe je kahyuM, e sephasAIDa. A badhA 'dUdhiyA' kApo to mahIMthI naryo kacaro nIkaLe. A jAnavaromAM limiTeDa buddhi che ane mana paNa limiTeDa che. eTale jAnavarone ApaNe zIkhavADavA nA javuM paDe ke tame A lapharAM nA vaLagADazo. kAraNa ke jAnavarone Asakti ja nA hoya. Asakti to buddhivALAne hoya. jAnavaro badhuM kudaratI jIvana jIve, normala jIvana jIve ane A manuSyo to buddhivALA. eTale Asakti UbhI kare ke kevI sarasa dekhAya che ! mecakkara, mUA ene cholo to kharAM. mahIM chole tyAre zuM nIkaLe ? e A satsaMgamAM ja rahevA jevuM che. bIje kaze bhAIbaMdhI karavA jevI nathI. satyugamAM bhAIbaMdhI hatI, te TheTha sudhI, AkhI jiMdagI sudhI bhAIbaMdhI pALe. atyAre to dagA de che. vairAga lAvavA mATe lokoe pustako lakha lakha kya. eMsI TakA pustako vairAga lAvavAnAM lakhyAM, to ya koIne vairAga dekhAyo nahIM, vairAga to A jJAnI puruSa eka kalAka bolene to bhavobhava vairAga yAda rahe. A jJAnathI vairAga rahe ke na rahe ? praznakartA: hA, rahe. AjanA satsaMgathI ghaNo ja phera paDI gayo. dAdAzrI : A satsaMga nA hoya tyAM sudhI mANasa mUMjhAyelo rahe. 360 samajathI prApta brahmacarya AvuM pajhala UbhuM thAya tyAM zuM karavuM, te khabara nA hoya. A to pajhala UbhuM thAya, eTale dAdAjInA zabdo yAda Ave. kaoNlejamAM to ghaNAM roga utpanna thaI jAya che. naryA roga ja kaoNlejamAM UbhA thAya che. badhuM jokhama che. ApaNe ApaNI meLe ja bhaNavuM, karavuM, paNa ApaNI sephasAIDa rAkhavI. ApaNe sephasAIDa rAkhIne kAma levuM, nahIM to badhe lapasavAnAM sAdhana che. eka phero lapasyA pachI ThekANuM nA paDe, dariyAmAM UMDo Utaryo pachI kyAre pAra Ave ? baheno to badhI kamaLa jevI kahevAya ane pachI duHkha thAya, te to dAdAjInA nAma para du:kha thayuM kahevAya. te dAdAjI cetave nahIM ? ane dAdAjI para Avo bharoso thayo to ya duHkha AvyuM ?! eTale dAdAjI to cetave. dAdAjI baoNrDa mAre ke 'bIvera". A baoNrDa mAre che ne, "bIvera oNpha thIjha', 'coro pAsuna sAvadha rahA ?" evuM A 'bIvera'nuM baoNrDa mArIe chIe. ame badhA Aptaputrone kahyuM ke tamAre paiNavuM hoya to ame tamane chokarI dekhADIzuM, pharsTa kalAsa chokarI ne ema tema. to ya nA pADe che. e to chokarAnAM mAbApa mane kahe nahIM ke tamAre lIdhe A chokarAo kuMvArA rahe che. huM kahuM, 'barAbara che." paNa emanI rUbarUmAM kahuM ke 'paiNo." ame evuM bolIe nahIM ke "Ama ja karo." evuM koIne kahIe nahIM. paiNavuM-nA paiNavuM tArA karmanA udayane AdhIna che. ame ya paiNI ne rAMDelA ja chIe ne ! mAMDe e rAMDe. paNatI vakhate vicAra Avelo mane ke A mAMDIe chIe paNa rAMDavuM paDaze eka dahADo. paiNatI vakhate, corI upara ja vicAra Avelo. paMdara varSanI uMmare. te meM pustakamAM jAhera kareluM te loko hase che ! baLyuM mAMDIe eTale rAMDavuM ja paDe ne ! e bemAMthI eka jaNane to rAMDavuM paDe ne ! tuM jANatI nhotI, paiNe e rAMDe, mAMDe e rAMDe ? praznakartA : te ghaDIe, paiNatI vakhate to ema ja hoya ke janma janma kA sAtha ho. dAdAzrI : hA, paNa je vairAgI mana thayA pachI AvuM khabara paDe Page #211 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 361 ne ! saravaiyuM kADhe ne baLyuM ! eka dahADo saravaiyuM kADhatAM AvaDe ke nA AvaDe baLyuM ! praznakartA : AvaDe. dAdAzrI : A jagatanuM saravaiyuM kADhavuM. saravaiyuM kADhatA AvaDe to narI khoTa ja kADhe ne ! paNa loko nA ja kADhe ne koI dahADo ya. saravaiyuM kADhatA nA AvaDatuM hoya, e to napho ja jue AmAM. 'bephAma napho che', kaheze. praznakartA : tamArI hAjarImAM eDajasTamenTa karI levAnuM. dAdAzrI : hA. A to Aptaputro to jJAnane laIne brahmacarya rAkhI gayA, nahIM to brahmacarya rAkhavuM e to mahAmuzkela vastu che. A to jJAna ane jJAnInI AjJA, zuM nA karI zake ? eTale manamAM vicAra avaLo nahIM AvavAno. mArI pAse chokarA badhA Ave che ne hindustAnamAM. 'alyA bhaI, paiNone.' kahyuM. ATalI badhI chokarIo, lokonI chokarIo kyAM jaze ? nA, ame to badhuM sukha joyuM ne amArA mAbApanuM, laDhe che e to ame joIe chIe ne sukha, eTale ame jANI lIdhuM ke 'bhaI, AmAM sukha nathI." ame A mA-bApano anubhava joyo, eTale have amAre paiNavuM nathI." kahe che. mArI pAse soeka chokarAM che. hA, brahmacarya pALe che, jabarajasta. kaDaka brahmacarya pALe che. strI para draSTi nA kare, draSTi thaI to pratikramaNa tarata. chokarIoe brahmacarya vrata pALanArI che evI majabUta. amuka nA pALI zake, amuka loko ja. strIone moha vadhAre hoya, chokarIone te nA pALI zake. jene moha ocho ane je ame pachI ene davA ApIe, te olarAITa thaI jAya. A lagnasaMbaMdhatAM svarUpa to juo !!! badhAM loko kahe tyAre eka phero ApaNane ThIka lAge to paiNI javuM. 362 samajathI prApta brahmacarya A te kaMI hajAra-be hajAra varSanuM lagna nathI. A to paccIsa varSanA ke pacAsa varSanA karAra. kaMI lAMbA karAra nahIM ne ? lAMbA karAra hoya to nA paiNavuM joIe. A to TUMkA karAra, zorTa karAra che. A kaMI lAMbA karAra che ? ane te chUTuM thavAnI ya sarakAre chUTa karI ApI che ne ? chUTa nathI karI ApI ? praznakartA : hA, ApI che. dAdAzrI : eTale paraNI javuM sAruM. game tevo nahIM, tamane pasaMda paDe tenI joDe. lagna haMmezAM sukha Ape evuM nakkI nathI hotuM. lagna du:khe ya Ape. haju saMsArano moha che tyAM sudhI du:kha bhogavavuM paDe ne? nahIM to brahmacarya jene pALavuM hoya tene kazuM du:kha ja nathI, bhAMjagaDa ja nathI ne ! paNa jo nirbaLatA UbhI thatI hoya, enA karatAM ghaNI karI levo sAro, nahIM to ema karatAM karatAM cALIsa varSa thaI jAya ane pachI ekuMya chokaro maLe nahIM. atyAre tamane trIsa-batrIsa varSa thayAM che, te haju batrIsa-pAMtrIsa varSanA chokarA maLI Ave. praznakartA : paNa mAre brahmacarya ja pALavuM hoya to zuM karavAnuM ? dAdAzrI : to pachI manamAM viSayano vicAra Ave te vakhate e vicArane, ame sAbu ApIe tenAthI dhoI nAkhavAnA ane koInI draSTi joDe ApaNI draSTi milAvavI nahIM ane draSTi milAvAI jAya to ene dhoI nAkhavAnI. ame badho sAbu ApIe chIe eTale brahmacarya pALI zake, vicAra to utpanna thAya. 'eTrekzana' utpanna thAya che e kudaratI che, paNa 'eTrekzana' thayA pachI sAbuthI dhoI nAkhe eTale 'eTrekzana' pharI nA thAya. AkarSaNa amukatuM ja zAne ? praznakartA : manamAM nakkI karyuM hoya ke koI chokarA mATe kharAba vicAra nA karavA, ane mane kharAba vicAra nA Ave paNa enuM moDhuM dekhAyA kare, pratikramaNa karuM to ya pAchuM e to evuM dekhAyA kare che to zuM karavuM ? Page #212 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 363 dAdAzrI : to dekhAyA kare temAM zuM ? ApaNe joyA karavAnuM, pratikramaNa karIne ukheDI nAkhavAnuM basa ! praznakartA : enA tarapha AkarSaNa thAyane, e game nahIM eTale enuM pratikramaNa kare, paNa to ya e vadhAre ne vadhAre dekhAyA kare. dAdAzrI : e dekhAya eTale pratikramaNa thAya ane pratikramaNa thAya eTale pachI che te dhIme dhIme ochuM thatuM jAya. gAMTha moTI hoya to ekadama ochuM nA thAya. praznakartA : ApaNane enuM moDhuM dekhAya, ne ApaNane enA mATe ADA vicAra Ave to e kharAba nA kahevAya ? dAdAzrI : ApaNe sTroMga (draDha) chIe pachI ADA vicAra Ave tene juo ke Ane mATe kharAba vicAra haju Ave che. ApaNe sTroMga chIe to koI nAma nA le. A to mAla bharyo che te Ave che, nahIM to nA bharyo hoya to bIjA koI chokarAno nA Ave. A ATalAM badhA chokarAo che, kaMI badhAne mATe Ave che ? je mAla bharyo che, te Ave che. tuM oLakhuM ke nahIM, A bharelo mAla ?! amuka joyA hoya, ne tenI para draSTi paDI hoya to ja Ave. ame to badhAMne kahIe ke paiNo. pachI tame nA paiNo te tamArI vAta. nA paiNIne pachI cAritra bagaDe tenA karatAM paiNavuM sAruM. lokaniMdya thAya e badhuM nakAmuM. enA karatAM mereja karelAM sArAM, nahIM to pachI haraiyA Dhora jevuM kahevAya. praznakartA : lokaniMdya thAya e to bahAranI vAta rahI, paNa potAnuM bagaDe ne ? dAdAzrI : eTale potAnuM to bagaDe ja, paNa pAchuM lokaniMdya thAya tyAM sudhInuM bagADe. e kaMI thoDuM ghaNuM bagADe nahIM. lapasyo eTale pachI vAra ja nA lAge ne ? jo brahmacarya sacavAya to bhagavAna thavAno kImiyo che emAM ! jJAnI badhI kaLA dekhADe, badhA rastA dekhADe, paNa e pote sTroMga 364 rahevo joIe. praznakartA : pote sTroMga rahe, paNa pachI AgaLa vAMdho nA Ave ? dAdAzrI : nA, kazuM nA thAya. jJAnI puruSanI kRpA joDe rahe ne ! pote sTroMga rahyo to jJAnI puruSanI kRpA rahyA kare, vacanabaLa rahyA kare, eTale badhuM kAma thayA kare. pote kAco paDyo eTale badhuM bagaDI jAya. 'zuM thaze, have zuM thaze' evuM thayuM to bagaDyuM. 'kazuM ja thAya nahIM.' kahyuM ke badhuM jatuM rahe. zaMkA paDI eTale lapasyo. samajathI prApta brahmacarya amArI vidhi to tamane bahArathI nukasAna nA thavA de. paNa jene jAte ja bagADavuM hoya tene zuM thAya ? eTale nizcaya karI nAkhuM to rAge cAle badhuM. praznakartA : nizcaya e to barobara che. paNa kacAza kyAM thAya che ke AjJA che, jJAna che paNa puruSArthamAM kacAza Ave che. dAdAzrI : e to badhuM karI ApIe ame. e badho sAMdho ame meLavI ApIe. tArI IcchA hoya to ame badho sAMdho meLavI ApIe. A chokarAone sAMdho meLavI Apyo, te jarA ya vicAra nA Ave. evuM karI ApIe ame. paNa tAru nakkI thaI jAya pachI amane kahevuM. juone, pelI bena kahetI'tI, paiNIne chevaTe ?! praznakartA : mAre AptaputrI thavuM che, paNa A badhA je mArA bhAva pahelAM thaI gayA hoya lagna karavAnAM, nokarI karavAnAM. te mAre pAchAM pUrA karavA paDe ke dhovAI jAya badhAM ? dAdAzrI : thaI gayA hoya, teno vAMdho nahIM. thaI gayA hoya, teno rastA ame karI ApIe. paNa have nA hovAM joIe ane joba karavAmAM ya vAMdho nathI. paNa brahmacarya ekaluM ja AptaputrI mATe jarUrI che. tame paiNyA nathI eTale tamane koI pUche ke tamAre keTalAM chokarAM che ? praznakartA : nA. Page #213 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 365 dAdAzrI : zAthI ? ke paiNyA nathI eTale. mULamAM dhaNI ja nathI to bIja kyAMthI nAkhavAnAM ? ne bIja nathI nAkhyAM to choDavo Uge ja zI rIte ? dhaNI, dhaNI jevo hoya che, te game tyAM jAya to ya eka kSaNa paNa ApaNane nA bhUle evo hoya to kAmanuM, paNa evuM koI kALe bane nahIM. to pachI A naMgoDa chApa dhaNIne zuM karavAnA ? kharo dhaNI maLe to enI joDe ekAMta zaiyAzana ApaNe choDIe. enI joDe ekAMta lAge. kAraNa ke enI cittavRttio ApaNI joDe rahe, to ApaNI cittavRttio bIjA joDe vAto karatA hoIe to ya jyAM dhaNI hoya tyAM jAya. eTale thaI gayuMne ekanuM eka ! ekAMta !!! atyAre evuM nathI maLatuM ne ? to bIjo badho mAla to saDelo kahevAya. evuM saDeluM zAka khAvA karatAM nA khAdheluM sAruM. A saDeluM khAvA jaIe to UlaTIo thAya. A prema vagarano saMsAra che, khAlI Asakti ja che. pahelAM to premavALI Asakti hatI, prema eTale laganI lAgelI hoya. A to laganI ja nathI lAgatI ne ? TikTine game teTalo guMdara coMTADIe to ya TikiTa coMTatI ja nathI, kAgaLa ja evo che, te pachI mANasa kaMTALI jAya ne ! eTale A kALamAM mANaso premabhUkhyA nathI, viSayabhUkhyA che. premabhUkhyo hoya tene to viSaya nA maLe to ya cAle. evA premabhUkhyA maLyA hoya to tenAM darzana karIe. A to viSayabhUkhyAM che. viSayabhUkhyA eTale zuM ke saMDAsa. A saMDAsa e viSayabhukhe che. e nathI javA maLatuM te kyuM nathI lAgatI ? te joyelI koI jagyAe kyU ? kyAM joyelI ? praznakartA : amAre cAlImAM to lAInamAM ja UbhA rahevuM paDe. dAdAzrI : te cAlImAM ya dhUo lAge che ?! ame amadAvAdamAM pahelAM dhUo joyelI. te mAre eka phero kyUmAM jaIne UbhA rahevAnuM thayuM. meM kahyuM, "mAre A vakhate saMDAsa nathI javuM." enA karatAM bahetara, ApaNe ema ne ema besI rahIzuM. ApaNe AvuM kyumAM saMDAsa nathI javuM. jyAM saMDAsanI AvaDI badhI kiMmata vadhI gaI !! kiMmata to laoNjamAM vadhI gaI hoya, paNa ahIM saMDAsanI paNa kiMmata vadhI gaI ?! kyUmAM UbhA rahevAnuM samajathI prApta brahmacarya mAre thayuM ?! pelA bhAI kahe ke 'hamaNe thoDIvAra pAMceka miniTa UbhuM rahevuM paDaze.' meM kahyuM, "nA, eka miniTe ya nahIM, cAlo pAcho AvuM chuM. baMdhakoSa thaze to parama dahADe phAkI laIzuM. paNa A nA poSAya. A zI rIta poSAya ?!! tyAM UbhA rahIne zAnI rAha juo cho ?! AnI paNa kiMmata ?! mane to zarama lAge. huM to jamavAmAM ya kyuM hoya to Ubho nA rahuM. enA karatAM tArI roTalI tAre ghera rahevA de. thoDA caNA phAkI laIzuM. hA, mokSa Apato hoya to cAlone, ApaNe rAta-dahADo yUmAM UbhA rahIe. eTale AjanA viSayo saMDAsa samAna thaI gayA che. jema saMDAsa mATe Ubho rahe che ne ! tevuM A viSayo mATe lAInamAM UbhA rahyA che. saMDAsa thayuM ke bhAgyo. Ane prema kahevAya ja kema ? prema to enuM nAma ke viSaya nA maLe to ya rIsa nA caDhe. A to jaMgalIpaNuM kahevAya. AnA karatAM bAvA thaIne mokSe cAlyA javAno vicAra karavo sAro. ApaNe ApaNuM gAma sAruM ! ApaNe gAma svataMtra to rahI zakIe. evuM te kaMI phAvatuM haze ? amadAvAdanA zeThiyA meM joyelA. oNphisamAM Ama badhA je je karatA hoya ane ene ghera dhUmAM UbhA rahyA hoya, A to svamAna jevuM nA rahyuM ne ? A to sAmAnya janatA kahevAya. amAre to kudaratI rIte ja kyU bhegI nahIM thayelI. kyU ApaNane kaMI zobhe?! mahIM trilokano nAtha che tyAM !!!! jo kadI laganIvALo prema hoya to saMsAra che, nahIM to pachI viSaya e to saMDAsa che. e pachI kudaratI hAjatamAM gayuM. ene hAjatamaMda kahe che ne ? jema sItA ne rAmacaMdrajI paiNelA ja hatAM ne ? sItAne laI gayA to ya rAmanuM citta sItAmAM ne sItAmAM ja hatuM ne sItAnuM citta tyAM rAmamAM hatuM. viSaya to cauda varSa joyo paNa nahoto, chatAM citta emanAmAM hatuM. enuM nAma lagna kahevAya. bAkI, A to hAjatamaMdo kahevAya. kudaratI hAjata ! paiNyA eTale jANavuM ke eka jAjaruM AvI gayuM ApaNI pAse ! Page #214 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 367 A lagna e to badhuM saMDAsa che. strIe eka ja vakhata parapuruSa joDe doSa karyo hoya to teNe pAMcaso-hajAra avatAra strI thavuM paDe. viSayamAM lapasyA eTale narkanI vedanA bhogavavI paDe. mATe draSTi mAMDavI ja nahIM. bIjA doSa calAvI levAya, paNa A atyaMta duHkhadAyI che. narkamAM paDyA jevuM du:kha lAge. are, AnA karatAM narkamAM paDavuM sAruM. enI meLe lagna sAmuM Ave to te ghaDIe paiNavuM. jagatanAM loko niMdya gaNe enAM to bhayaMkara du:kho paDe, e hovuM nA joIe. mATe pratikramaNa tarata karI levuM joIe. paNa jo zakti hoya to saMyama lo ne zakti nA hoya to paiNajo. paiNyAno kaMI doSa nathI. bAkI viSayanA jevo mAra ja jagatamAM bIjo koI nathI. viSayano vicAra Avyo ke tyAMthI vedanA utpanna thaI, baLatarA UbhI thayA kare. viSaya jItyo eTale badhuM jItyuM. eTale dhaNI hoya to bhAMjagaDa ne ? paNa jo brahmacarya vrata lIdhuM hoya, to A viSayasaMbaMdhI bhAMjagaDa ja nahIM ne ! ane AvuM jJAna hoya to te kAma kADhI nAkhe ! paNa strIne strI-jAtino jabarajasta avarodha, eTale zreNI bahu UMce caDhe paNa strI-jAti eTale aTakI jAya ne ! eTale strI-jAti keTalI badhI bAdhaka che !! strI-jAtine bAdhakatA utpanna thAya, te kyAre enuM levala khasI jAya, te kahevAya nahIM. jyAre puruSane to pote 'ekkekTanesa'mAM AvI gayelo hoya, e pachI khase nahIM enI gerenTI !! tane sAruM rahe che ? praznakartA : Ama sAruM che, paNa dAdA strI-prakRti to kharI ne ! upara nahIM AvavA de evuM thAya. dAdAzrI : paNa e to bahu jo pratikramaNa karaze ne sTroMga rahe to kazuM na thAya. sTroMga rahevuM joIe. eka phero lapasyA pachI mAra khaI-khaIne marI jAya. eka ja vakhata lapasyA to khalAsa thaI gayuM. eTale viSaya e bhogavavAnI cIja ja nhoya evuM mAnI lene to cAle ! bhogavavAnI ghaNI cIjo che bahAra. A to naryo eMThavADo gaMdavADo badho. AMkhane game nahIM, kAnane game nahIM, jIbhane game nahIM. 368 samajathI prApta brahmacarya peluM vAMcuM chuM? praznakartA : vAMcana nathI thatuM khAsa. dAdAzrI : e to vAMcavAthI badhI prakRti chUTI thaI jAya nahIM to pachI lagna karavuM sAruM. tAre to cAle evuM che ne ? praznakartA : prakRti TenzanavALI kharIne eTale jJAnanuM pariNAma joIe evuM nathI AvatuM. dAdAzrI : e to jJAnanuM pariNAma satsaMga hoya ne to ja Ave. e to satsaMga nahIM eTale. e to ApaNe tyAM AgaLa baMdhAze to A badhAnI joDe rahevAthI vicAra ja nA UbhA thAya ane AnaMda thAya UlTo. te A baMdhAze tyAM AgaLa brahmacAriNIo raheze, nahIM to pachI lagna karavAnuM kahI devuM. sArA satsaMgamAM Ave to ya TenzanavALI prakRti kAyama hotI nathI, e to badhuM vaLI jAya. e to kusaMgamAM pesI jAya to ja naDe badhuM. e paNa A viSaya gamato ja nA hoya to A chUTakAro thAya. chatAM koInI upara draSTi kheMcAya pratikramaNathI uDI jAya. paNa aMdarakhAne viSaya gamato hoya to paiNavuM sAruM. praznakartA : potAnuM hitanuM nA vicAre. dAdAzrI : hita to hoya ja nahIM, bhAna ja nA hoya. galIpacImAM je mANasa bheravAI jAya, enuM to hitanuM ja ThekANuM nA hoya ne ! praznakartA : e vakhate pote nizcaya karelo e kyAM jato rahe ? dAdAzrI : jevo pote thaI jAya evo thaI jAya nizcaya. pote kAco thaI jAya, to thaI gayo anizcaya. praznakartA : paNa A bAjuno nizcaya karatAM ATalI badhI vAra lAge ane pelo nizcaya tarata ja pharI jAya evuM kema ? Page #215 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 369 dAdAzrI : nA, ahIM vAra lAge ja nahIM. ahIMyA e vAra lagADyA sivAyanuM ja che. praznakartA : ahIMyAe vAra lagADyA sivAya ? dAdAzrI : hA. e tAtkAlika evuM tAtkAlika A. ahIM vAra lagADeluM hoya to eno nizcaya phare ja nahIM ne ! nA phare koI dahADo, mArI nAkhe to ya nA phare. praznakartA : amAre badhAne A barAbara samajapUrvakano nizcaya sTroMga karavo hoya, to samaja to pUrepUrI to ame lAvyA ja nathI ne ! to pachIe sTroMganesa kevI rIte Ave ? 390 samajathI prApta brahmacarya AvyA pachI kAma thAya. AjJA vagare ya Ama to mokSa be-cAra avatAramAM thavAno che, paNa paheluM AjJAmAM Ave tyAre eka avatArI thaI jAya ! A jJAnamAM AvyA pachI amArI AjJAmAM AvavuM paDe. haju kaMI tamane badhAMne evI brahmacaryanI AjJA apAI nathI ne ? e ame jaldI ApatAM ya nathI. kAraNa ke badhAne pALatAM AvaDe nahIM, phAve nahIM. e to mana bahu majabUta joIe. Aje satsaMgamAM sADI paherI che, te kevuM DahApaNavALuM dekhAya che. kAle laganamAM javAnI hatI tyAre sADI paherelI, te koI jue to kahetA ke aphalAtUna dekhAya che. AvuM lokone Azcarya lAge evuM nA paherIe. sAduM paherIe, enI kiMmata kahevAya. peluM to mohI kahevAya. sAduM ne paddhatisaranuM jene kahevAya, tevuM paherIe. huM ya navAM kapaDAM paheruM chuM ne ? paNa te paddhatisaranuM kahevAya. pelAM kapaDAM to paherelAM hoya to loka jANe ke A mUchita che. tuM AvAM kapaDAM paheruM to loka jANe ke A satsaMgamAM gaI ja nahIM hoya, mATe simpala sADI sArI. sADInA AdhAre deha ke dehanA AdhAre sADI ? simpala sADI ja prabhAvazALI kahevAya. chokarAMo paNa aphalAtUna kapaDAM pahere che ne? tamAre mokSe javuM che ke Ama lAla-pILI sADIo paheravI che, te pharI saMsAramAM pesavuM che ? A lAla, pILI, vAdaLI sADI ApaNane nA hoya, e to badhI mohavALI cIja kahevAya. jyAre tyAre to moha choDavo ja paDaze ne ?! kaMI sADI ekalIne choDI devAnI che ? jyAre tyAre dehane ya choDavo ja paDaze ne ? dAdAzrI : tAro dhyeya hoya to badhuM Ave. praznakartA : eTale jene sTroMga karavo che, eno thaze ja? dAdAzrI : nA. dhyeya nakkI karyo hoya ne to sTroMga rahe to pachI thaI jAya A dhyeya nathI ene dhyeya nathI kazoya. praznakartA Ape dAdA ekavAra kIdheluM ke nizcaya majabUta karavo hoya to nizcayanI viruddhano eka paNa vicAra Avavo nA joIe. dAdAzrI : hA. ane e dhyeyane kaMI paNa nukasAna karatuM Ave to ene khaseDI nAkhavuM. AvI 'samaja' koNa pADe ?! A bahenano to nizcaya che ke "eka avatAramAM ja mokSe javuM che. have ahIM poSAya nahIM, eTale eka ja avatArI thavuM che.' to pachI emane badhAM sAdhano maLI AvyAM, brahmacaryanI AjJA paNa maLI gaI ! praznakartA H ame paNa eka ja avatArI thazuM ? dAdAzrI : tAre haja vAra lAgaze. hamaNAM to thoDuM amArA kahyA pramANe cAlavA de. eka avatArI to AjJAmAM AvyA pachI, A jJAnamAM eTale AmAM sAcuM sukha ja nathI. A to badhuM kalpita sukha kahevAya. viSayomAM ya kalpita sukha che ane bIjI vastuomAM ya kalpita sukha che. sAcuM sukha AtmAmAM che. sanAtana sukha, e kyAreya jAya nahIM. A amAre kyAre sukha jatuM ja nathI ne ! jo tAre brahmacarya pALavuM hoya to ATaluM cetavAnuM ke parapuruSano vicAra paNa nA Avavo joIe. ne vicAra Avyo tyAMthI dhoI nAkhavuM joIe. praznakartA : Ape kaheluM mizracetanathI cetaje. dAdAzrI : basa, e mizracetanathI je cetyo, enuM kalyANa thaI Page #216 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 371 gayuM ! eka zuddhacetana che ane eka mizracetana che. te mizracetanamAM jo sapaDAyo to AtmA prApta karyo hoya, to paNa ene rakhaDAvI mAre. eTale AmAM vikArI saMbaMdha thayo to rajhaLapATa thAya. kAraNa ke ApaNe mokSe javuM che ane e bhAI che, te jAnavaramAM javAnAM hoya to ApaNane tyAM kheMcI jAya. saMbaMdha thayo eTale tyAM javuM paDe. mATe vikArI saMbaMdha Ubho ja nA thAya eTaluM ja jovAnuM. manathI ya bagaDelA nA hoya tyAre cAritra kahevAya. tyAra pachI A badhA taiyAra thaI jAya. mana bagaDelAM e to pachI phrekacara thaI jAya, nahIM to eka-eka chokarImAM keTalI keTalI zakti hoya ! e kaMI jevI tevI zakti hoya ? A to hindustAnanI baheno hoya ane vItarAganuM vijJAna pAse hoya, pachI zuM bAkI rahe ? cAritra saMbaMdhI vAtacIta mA-bApa potAnI chokarIne zI rIte karI zake ? to e koNa vAtacIta karI zake ? eka 'jJAnI puruSa' ekalAM ja vAtacIta karI zake. kAraNa ke jJAnI koI liMgamAM nA hoya. e puruSa liMgamAM nA hoya, strI liMgamAM nA hoya ke napuMsaka liMgamAM nA hoya. e to AuTa oNpha liMga hoya. jamAno bahu vicitra Avyo che, lapasaNo kALa che, chokarIone koI jJAna che nahIM, AgaLanuM mArgadarzana nathI. A chokarIone keTalI badhI muzkelIo che !! eTale A mArgadarzana ApuM 372 samajathI prApta brahmacarya AnaMda oTomeTika chUTI jAya. dAdAzrI : hA, kAraNa ke jalebI khAdhA pachI cA pIvo, to enI meLe ja nyAya thaI jaze ne ! ema AtmAno AnaMda cAkhyA pachI viSayo enI meLe ja moLA paDI jAya. A chokarIone moLuM ja paDI gayuM ne ! tyAre ja to rAge AvyuM ne ! A chokarIone brahmano AnaMda utpanna thayo ane Aropita AnaMda phrekacara thaI gayo ! tethI ja potAnA doSa upara raDavuM AvyuM ne ? ane chokarIo to ahIM AvIne mane kahe ke bahu ja zakti vadhI gaI, jabarajasta zakti vadhI gaI !!! potAnuM sukha potAnI pAse che, evuM loka samajyA ja nathI ne ? ane sukha bahAra khoLavA jAya che ! praznakartA : paNa sukhane koI ne koI AdhAra che ja, manano, vacanano... dAdAzrI : parAvalaMbI sukhane sukha kahevAya ja kema karIne ? praznakartA : ekalI bahenonI zibira karAvo. dAdAzrI : to to bahu prabhAva paDI jAya. e jyAre sAcuM brahmacarya pALaze, e lAITa judI jAtanuM hoya. A to janmyA ne marI gayA ahIMyA AgaLa, jAnavaranI peTha e zuM kAmanuM ? beno sAMbhaLo cho ke, mArI vAta kaDavI lAge to ya mahIM utArajo. bhale kaDavI lAge, paNa chevaTe mIThI nIkaLaze. mIThI nIkaLe ke nA nIkaLe ? praznakartA : nIkaLe. tethI A jJAna nIkaLyuM. mArI ghaNA vakhatathI icchA hatI ke AvuM jJAna nIkaLe, paNa teno TAIma bAjhavo joIe ne ? A jJAna ATalAMne to maLyuM. badhAMne ya jarUra to kharI ne ? A jJAnanI to badhAMne jarUra hoya ! A to brahmacarya vrata pALavuM che, e kaMI nAnAM chokarAMnA khela nathI ! viSaya vicAra ja nA Avavo joIe ane Ave to tene tarata pratikramaNa karI dhoI nAkhavAnuM. vicAra to Ave ja. A kaLiyugamAM to naryA evA vicAro Ave ja ! paNa ene dhoI nAkhavAnA. praznakartA : viSayamAM AnaMdanuM ApaNe AropaNa kareluM che, eTale e Ave che, paNa ApaNane brahmanA AnaMdanI anubhUti thAya to pelo dAdAzrI : atyAre to kaDavI lAge. meM kahyuM che A ekalI ja sephasAIDa, bIjI badhI phasAmaNa che. kalyANa karavAnuM ke lyANa svarUpa thavAtuM ? praznakartA: A dIkSA lenArI baheno che, emane dharmanuM rahasya evuM kaMIka samajAvo ke jethI pharIne emanuM kalyANa thAya ane samAjane, lokone Page #217 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ samajathI prApta brahmacarya 373 paNa phAyado thAya. dAdAzrI : kalyANa karavAmAM eka ja vastu che ke je potAnuM kalyANa kare che te bIjAnuM kalyANa vagara bolya karI zake che ! eTale karavAnuM keTaluM che ? 'jJAnI puruSa'nI pAse potAnuM kalyANa karI levAnuM che. pachI pote kalyANasvarUpa thayo eTale vagara bolve lokonuM kalyANa thAya che ane je loko bola bola kare che emAM kazuM vaLatuM nathI. khAlI bhASaNo karavAthI, bola bola karavAthI kazuM vaLatuM nathI. bolavAthI to buddhi Imozanala thAya che. ema ne ema ja emanuM cAritra jovAthI, e mUrti jovAthI ja badhA bhAva zamI jAya che. mATe emaNe to phakta pote ja te rUpa thaI javA jevuM che ! 'jJAnI puruSa'nI pAse rahI te rUpa thavuM. AvI pAMca ja chokarIo taiyAra thAya to keTalAya lokonuM te kalyANa kare ! sAva nirmaLa thavuM joIe, ane 'jJAnI puruSa'nI pAse nirmaLa thaI zake ane nirmaLa thavAnAM che !!