Gnani Purush Part 1

Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Dada Bhagwan Aradhana Trust
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/034316/1

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A. M. Patel to Dada Bhagwan jJAnIpuruSa dAdA bhagavAna bhAga-1

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dAdA bhagavAna kathita jJAnI puruSa 'dAdA bhagavAna' [ bhAga-1] mUla gujarAtI saMkalana : dIpaka desAI hindI anuvAda : mahAtmAgaNa

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prakAzaka : ajIta sI. paTela dAdA bhagavAna ArAdhanA TrasTa 'dAdA darzana', 5, mamatApArka sosAyaTI, navagujarAta kaoNleja ke pIche, usmAnapurA, ahamadAbAda - 380014, gujarAta phona - (079) 27540408 All Rights reserved - Shri Deepakbhai Desai Trimandir, Simandhar City, Ahmedabad-Kalol Highway, Post - Adalaj, Dist.-Gandhinagar-382421, Gujarat, India. prathama saMskaraNa : 2000 pratiyA~ navambara 2018 bhAva mUlya : 'parama vinaya' aura 'maiM kucha bhI jAnatA nahIM', yaha bhAva! dravya mUlya : 150 rupae mudraka : aMbA oNphaseTa B-99, ilekTronIksa GIDC, ka-6 roDa, sekTara-25, gAMdhInagara-382044 phona : (079) 39830341

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jirmana namo arihaMtANaM namo siddhArNa namo bAbariyANaM namo uvajhASANaM namo loe savvasAhUrNa eso paMca namukAro, savya pAvappaNAsaNI maMgalANaM ca savvesiM, pavarma havAi maMgalam 1 OM namo bhagavate vAsudevAya 2 OM namaH zivAya 3 jaba saccidAnaMda

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dAdA bhagavAna kauna ? jUna 1958 kI eka saMdhyA kA karIba chaH baje kA samaya, bhIr3a se bharA sUrata zahara kA relve sTezana, pleTaphArma naM. 3 kI beMca para baiThe |zrI aMbAlAla mUlajIbhAI paTela rUpI dehamaMdira meM kudaratI rUpa se, akrama rUpa meM, kaI janmoM se vyakta hone ke lie Atura 'dAdA bhagavAna' pUrNa rUpa se prakaTa hue| aura kudarata ne sarjita kiyA adhyAtma kA adbhuta aashcry| eka ghaMTe meM unheM vizvadarzana huaa| 'maiM kauna? bhagavAna kauna? jagat kauna calAtA hai ? karma kyA? mukti kyA?' ityAdi jagat ke sAre AdhyAtmika praznoM ke saMpUrNa rahasya prakaTa hue| isa taraha kudarata ne vizva ke sammukha eka advitIya pUrNa darzana prastuta kiyA aura usake mAdhyama bane zrI aMbAlAla mUlajIbhAI paTela, gujarAta ke carotara kSetra ke bhAdaraNa gA~va ke pATIdAra, kAnTrekTa kA vyavasAya karanevAle, phira bhI pUrNatayA vItarAga puruSa! unheM prApti huI, usI prakAra kevala do hI ghaMToM meM anya mumukSu |janoM ko bhI ve AtmajJAna kI prApti karavAte the, unake adbhuta siddha hue jJAnaprayoga se| use akrama mArga khaa| akrama, arthAt binA krama ke, aura krama arthAt sIr3hI dara sIr3hI, kramAnusAra Upara cddh'naa| akrama arthAt liphTa mArga, zaoNrTa kaTa! __ve svayaM pratyeka ko 'dAdA bhagavAna kauna?' kA rahasya batAte| hue kahate the ki "yaha jo Apako dikhate hai ve dAdA bhagavAna nahIM hai, ve to 'e.ema.paTela' hai| hama jJAnI puruSa haiM aura bhItara prakaTa hue haiM, ve 'dAdA bhagavAna' haiN| dAdA bhagavAna to caudaha loka ke nAtha haiN| ve ApameM bhI haiM, sabhI meM haiN| ApameM avyakta rUpa meM rahe hue haiM aura 'yahA~' hamAre bhItara saMpUrNa rUpa se vyakta hue haiN| dAdA bhagavAna ko maiM |bhI namaskAra karatA huuN|" | 'vyApAra meM dharma honA cAhie, dharma meM vyApAra nahIM', isa siddhAMta se unhoMne pUrA jIvana bitaayaa| jIvana meM kabhI bhI unhoMne kisI ke pAsa se paisA nahIM liyA balki apanI kamAI se bhaktoM ko yAtrA karavAte the|

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AtmajJAna prApti kI pratyakSa liMka _ 'maiM to kucha logoM ko apane hAthoM siddhi pradAna karanevAlA huuN| pIche anugAmI cAhie ki nahIM cAhie? pIche logoM ko mArga to cAhie na?' - dAdAzrI parama pUjya dAdAzrI gA~va-gA~va, deza-videza paribhramaNa karake mumukSu janoM ko satsaMga aura AtmajJAna kI prApti karavAte the| ApazrI ne apane jIvanakAla meM hI pUjya DaoN. nIrUbahana amIna (nIrUmA~) ko AtmajJAna prApta karavAne kI jJAnasiddhi pradAna kI thiiN| dAdAzrI ke dehavilaya pazcAt nIrUmA~ vaise hI mumukSujanoM ko satsaMga aura AtmajJAna kI prApti, nimitta bhAva se karavA rahI thii| pUjya dIpaka bhAI desAI ko dAdAzrI ne satsaMga karane kI siddhi pradAna kI thii| nIrUmA~ kI upasthiti meM hI unake AzIrvAda se pUjya dIpaka bhAI deza-videzo meM kaI jagahoM para jAkara mumukSuoM ko AtmajJAna karavA rahe the, jo nIrUmA~ ke dehavilaya pazcAt Aja bhI jArI hai| isa AtmajJAnaprApti ke bAda haz2AroM mumukSu saMsAra meM rahate hue, jimmedAriyA~ nibhAte hue bhI mukta rahakara AtmaramaNatA kA anubhava karate haiN| graMtha meM mudrita vANI mokSArthI ko mArgadarzana meM atyaMta upayogI siddha hogI, lekina mokSaprApti hetu AtmajJAna prApta karanA z2arUrI hai| akrama mArga ke dvArA AtmajJAna kI prApti kA mArga Aja bhI khulA hai| jaise prajvalita dIpaka hI dUsarA dIpaka prajvalita kara sakatA hai, usI prakAra pratyakSa AtmajJAnI se AtmajJAna prApta kara ke hI svayaM kA AtmA jAgRta ho sakatA hai|

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samarpaNa aho! aho! yaha adbhuda naz2arAnA vizva ko kudarata kA; 'mUlajI-jhavera bA' ke A~gana meM huA avataraNa isa mahAmAnava kA! bacapana se tejasvI aura prabhAvazAlI vyaktitva daidIpyamAna; bhole-bhadrika aura nirdoSatA, dRSTi paoNz2iTiva-pavitra aura vizAla! 'na mamatA-lobha yA lAlaca', 'aparigrahI', na thI Adata saMgraha karane kI; saralatA-niSkapaTatA-vairAgya, nahIM bhIkha yA kAmanA ki pUje koI! premala-lAgaNI vAle aura sahanazIlatA, sadA paropakArI svabhAva; anukaMpA sabhI jIvoM ke pratI, kabhI nahIM karate the tiraskAra yA abhAva! kabhI na dekheM avaguNa kisI ke, dekhakara guNa karate Develapa; kahate rakho mana vizAla, enI TAima DonTa Dismisa ainIbaDI! thI bhAvanA asamAnya banane kI, nahIM thI ruci sAmAnya meM; nahIM laghutAgraMthi, na hote prabhAvita kisI se, rahe niraMtara svasukha meM! svataMtra siddhAMta se cale khuda, AtI thI adaMra se akalpanIya z2abaradasta sUjha; khuda aMdara vAle ke batAe anusAra cale, AvaraNa TUTane para rAstA mile! pariNAma pakar3ane vAlA brena, hara eka kArya ke pIche dikhatA pariNAma; vaijJAnika svabhAva mUla rUpa se, jJAna kI bAta le jAte vijJAna meM! mAtA-pitA ke saMskAra siMcana se, guNa bIja aMkurita hokara panapA; ezvarya prakaTa aise saMskAroM se, sahAnubhUti se huA jIvana sArthaka! bodhakalA se utpanna huI sUjha, tapobala se prakaTa huA jJAna; solaha kalAoM vAlA khilA sUraja, aMtara meM jhalahala AtmajJAna ! aneka guNa saMpanna bacapana nirAlA, yahA~ isa graMtha meM samAyA; varNita huA unake svamukha se aura saMkalita hokara samarpita jagakalyANa ke lie!

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prastAvanA 'aho' vaha zubha dina kArtika suda caudasa, saMvata 1965 tarasAlI gA~va meM, pATIdAra kauma meM janme jaga kalyANI puruSa! mA~ jAtivAna aura bApa kulavAna, kuTuMba rAjazrI saMskArI khAnadAna kSatriyatA, duHkha na de kisI ko, dayAlu-karuNA-prema apAra! 'aMbA' ke lAla, 'aMbAlAla', pyAre saba ke 'galA' kahalAte vicakSaNa aura jAgRta khUba, upanAma sAta samoliyA se pahacAne jAte ! sAta kI umra meM gae skUla meM, par3he gujarAtI meM cauthI aura aMgrez2I meM sAtavIM taka lagI paravazatA, nahIM lagA par3hanA acchA, lekina sAtha meM bahuta thI samajha ! phela hone para nikAlA sAra, jAna-bUjhakara nahIM rakhanI DhIla dhyAnapUrvaka kara lenA hai abhyAsa, dhyeya prApti aura uttama pariNAma ! kama umra meM huA bhAna, anaMta bAra par3he lekina nahIM AyA vaha jJAna kyA pAyA hai par3hAI se? itanI mehanata se to mila jAte bhagavAna ! laghuttama sIkhate hue milA yaha jJAna, rakamoM meM avibhAjya rUpa se haiM bhagavAna bhagavAna haiM laghuttama sarva jIvoM meM, laghuttama hone para khuda bane bhagavAna ! bhAva thA svAvalaMbI rahane kA, nahIM thA pasaMda parAvalaMbana aura parataMtratA sadA rahe prayatnazIla, nahIM pusAegA UparI, svataMtra jIvanakAja! z2arUrateM kama aura parigraha rahita, jIyA jIvana sAdA aura sarala jIvana jIe khumArI se, kabhI bhI na hue lAcAra! buddhi ke Azaya meM thI nahIM naukarI, nipuNa hue kaoNmanasensa se vyApAra meM na thI spRhA dhanavAna banane kI, sukhI rahe sadA saMtoSa rUpI dhana se! vicArazIla aura vipula mati, hara eka ghaTanA kA sAra nikAlakara karate hala na kiyA kabhI aMdhA anukaraNa, jiye sughar3a aura siddhAMtapUrNa jIvana !

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the jozIle-zarAratI-sAhasika, nahIM thA pasaMda aghaTita vyApAra na kI dekhA-dekhI, nikAlate the sAra, jA~ca karate, dekhate lAbha-alAbha! samajhe jaba se jokhima buddhi ke durupayoga kA, huA baMda ha~sI ur3AnA bhUloM ke kie pachatAve, kiyA nizcaya kabhI na ho phira aisA! vyavahAra meM vinayI-namra-ahiMsaka svabhAva, dekhA hamezA hita auroM kA auroM ko khuza karate vyavahAra, nahIM duHkhAte mana kabhI kisI kA! na rakhe Agraha yA pUrvagraha, bodhakalA se prakRti pahacAnakara liyA kAma nahIM kiyA TakarAva yA jhaMjhaTa, zAMti-sukha-AnaMda ke lie! virodhI ke sAtha bhI na rakhI judAI, samajhA hisAba hai yaha merA laTU ghUme parasattA meM, nirdoSa dRSTi se dekhA doSa rahita! nATakIya saMbaMdha rakhakara saba ke sAtha, hisAba cukAe RNAnubaMdha ke na rAga-dveSa-jhagar3e-Asakti, dekhakara zuddha kiyA samabhAva se nikAla! oblAijiMga necara, Thage gae lekina kiyA paropakAra nahIM jIyA jIvana khuda ke lie, kharcA pala-pala auroM ke lie! kSatriya svabhAva aura niDaratA kA guNa, 'AtmazraddhA' ki mujhe na hogA kucha anubhava karake bane saMdeha rahita, kalpanA ke bhUta aura Dara se! rUThane se nukasAna khuda ko hI, taya kiyA nahIM rUThanA hai kabhI samajha meM AyA khokara AnaMda khuda kA, mola lete haiM duHkha nAsamajhI se! nahIM thA pasaMda parataMtratA yA UparI, saMsAra lagA sadA baMdhana rUpI mokSa meM jAte hue bhagavAna bhI na hoM UparI, 'mA~-bApa' UparI lekina upakArI! rileTiva meM calegA UparI, lekina nahIM cAhie UparI koI riyala meM mokSa ho aura bhagavAna ho UparI, lagA atyaMta virodhAbhAsa jaga meM! khoja karake DhUMDha nikAlA, bhagavAna to hai 'aMdara vAlA' hI

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bhagavAna to hai khuda kA svarUpa, nahIM hai vaha kartA jaga meM kisI cIz2a kA! khuda kI bhUleM hI haiM khuda kI UparI, aura koI UparI nahIM hai jaga meM khuda kauna hai? jaga kartA kauna? ajJAna kA dohanakara, anubhava kiyA vijJAna meM! hamezA cale loga-saMjJA se viruddha, satya hakIkata kI khoja meM nahIM kI nakala kisI kI, kyA milegA nakala vAlI akla meM? prema vAle aura hArTilI svabhAva, para duHkha se khuda hote haiM duHkhI nirIkSaNa karane kI Adata se jAnA, yaha jagat hai polam pola ! jagat dikhA vikarAla duHkha bharA, isalie nahIM huI moha yA mUrchA pUrA jIvana jiye samajha sahita, jAnA ripemenTa vAlA hai yaha jagat ! sune hue aura zraddhA vAle jJAna se, ghusA yamarAja kA bhaya, hue duHkhI soca-vicAra se gaI ulTI zraddhA, samajhe ki nahIM hai 'yamarAja' koI! ajJAna se mukti huI sacce jJAna se, samajha meM AyA sanAtana satya nahIM hai koI kartA yA UparI, jagat cala rahA hai niyama adhIna! zarAratI svabhAva aura zarAratI Adata, yukti apanAkara seTha ko cher3A DhUMDha nikAlA daMDa kise? kauna hai gunahagAra? kATate ho kyoM bekAra meM hI nimitta ko? aMtara sUjha se milA jJAna, 'bhugate usI kI bhUla' aura 'huA so nyAya' socane para samajha meM Ae sahI bAta, maiM nahIM lekina hai 'vyavasthita kartA'! aneka ghaTanAe~ jJAnI ke bacapana kI, par3hate hI aho bhAva! ho jAe kaise vicakSaNa-jAgRta svAnubhava meM, koTi-koTi vaMdana yoM hI ho jAe~!

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nivedana jIvana to hara eka vyakti jI hI letA hai lekina jIvana kI pratyeka avasthA ko alaga dekhakara, jAnakara aura usase mukta raha sakeM, aise virala jJAnI zAyada hI koI hote haiM! pahale jJAnI puruSa kuMdakuMdAcArya ho cuke haiN| hameM unake jIvana cAritra ke bAre meM bahuta jAnane ko nahIM milatA jabaki parama kRpAludeva zrImad rAjacaMdra, jo jJAnI ho cuke haiM, unake jIvana ke bAre meM hameM thor3A-bahuta jAnane ko milA hai| usake alAvA purAne samaya meM kaI mahAna puruSa, jo AtmajJAnI ho cuke haiM, unakI jJAna dazA kI kucha bAteM hameM jAnane ko milatI haiM lekina ajJAna dazA meM kisI khoja ke lie, kisa dhyeya se khuda jiye, usa rahasya ke bAre meM bahuta jAnane ko nahIM miltaa| jabaki yahA~ para hameM parama pUjya dAdA bhagavAna (dAdAzrI) ke pUrvAzrama kI bAteM vistArapUrvaka jAnane ko milatI hai| aise ghora kaliyuga meM aisA alaukika vyaktitva hameM dekhane ko milaa| unake jIvana kI hakIkateM jAnane ko milI aura jJAnI kaise hote haiM, vaha jAnane ko milA isIlie to hameM apane Apake prati dhanyatA anubhava hotI hai ki hama kitane bhAgyazAlI haiM ki hamAre bIca pUrNa jJAnI Ae aura hamane unase jJAna pAyA ! eka bAta avazya samajha meM AtI hai ki unakA jIvana eka sAmAnya vyakti jaisA hI thA lekina aMdara unakI samajha asAmAnya vyakti jaisI thii| ghaTanAe~ to unake jIvana meM bhI hamArI taraha kI hI hotI thIM lekina eka hI ghaTanA meM to ve kitanA kucha soca lete the aura usake sAra ke rUpa meM kucha adbhuta AdhyAtmika vivaraNa de sake! unakI janmoM-janma se kI huI jagat kalyANa kI bhAvanA aura yaha ki sAmAnya manuSya bhI jIvana meM binA du:kha ke aura Atmika AnaMda ke sAtha jIvana jiye, vaha bAta rUpaka meM aaii| sAmAnya manuSya ke jIvana meM Ane vAlI takalIphoM ko khuda anubhava karake aura sahI samajha se una du:khoM meM se bAhara nikalakara mukti kA AnaMda cakhA jA sakatA hai, aisA koI vijJAna jagat ke logoM ko denA thA, aura aMta meM ve de ske| 10

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mokSa meM jAne ke lie saMsAra bAdhaka nahIM hai, mAtra apanI nAsamajhI aura ajJAna hI bAdhaka hai| yaha jJAna gRhastha jIvana meM rahakara unhoMne khuda ne anubhava kiyA aura sabhI sAMsArika logoM ko vahI anubhava jJAna de ske| yaha vANI jo abhI jIvana cAritra ke rUpa meM isa graMtha meM saMkalita huI hai, usakI vizeSatA yaha hai ki ye sArI bAteM dAdAzrI ne khuda ne 1968 se 1987 ke daurAna batAI haiM jaise ki ye ghaTanAe~ kala hI huI hoM aura usa samaya khuda ko kyA vicAra Ae the, kauna sA jJAna hAz2ira huA jisakI vajaha se ulTA cale aura usakI vajaha se kitanI mAra par3I, usake bAda aMdara kauna sI samajha prakaTa huI jisase ve usakA saoNlyUzana lA sake, itane varSoM bAda bhI ve ye sArI bAteM batA ske| bar3I umra meM bhI apane bacapana se lekara jIvana meM huI alaga-alaga ghaTanAoM meM kyA huA thA aura khuda ko aMdara kyA-kyA ulajhaneM huI thIM aura khuda unameM se kisa taraha bAhara nikale, vaha saba kaha pAnA aura vaha bhI jyoM kA tyoM, vaha bahuta hI Azcaryajanaka kahA jA sakatA hai| dAdAzrI kahate the ki jJAna hone se pahale maiM yAdadAzta ke AdhAra para kaha sakatA thA ki usa dina aisA huA thA lekina vItarAga hone ke bAda meM yAdadAzta nahIM rhii| yadi koI prazna pUche to upayoga vahA~ para jAtA hai aura darzana meM hameM pahale kyA kucha huA thA vaha jyoM kA tyoM dikhAI detA hai aura bAta hotI hai| zuruAta ke sAloM meM parama pUjya dAdAzrI ke satsaMgoM kI vANI pUjya nIrU mA~ DAyarI meM likha lete the| jaba se TeparikaoNrDara AyA taba se oNDiyo keseTa meM rikArDa karane lge| vaha keseTa vAlI vANI kAgaz2a para utArakara, eDiTiMga karake pUjya nIrU mA~ ne caudaha AptavANiyoM aura anya kaI pustakoM kA saMkalana kiyA thaa| zurU se hI unakI dila kI bhAvanA thI ki isa saMsAra ko aise mahAna jJAnI puruSa kI pahacAna jJAnI puruSa ke rUpa meM karavAnI hai| itanA hI nahIM unakA jIvana cAritra batAkara logoM ko unake vyavahAra jJAna se saMbaMdhita samajha prApta ho sake ki vyavahArika jIvana meM unakI kaisI adbhuta samajha thI jisakI vajaha se jIvana meM milane vAle pratyeka vyakti ke sAtha ve Adarza vyavahAra 11

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kara ske| Aja isa bAta kA AnaMda ho rahA hai ki pUjya nIrU mA~ kI bhAvanA ke anusAra jJAnI puruSa kA adbhuta jIvana cAritra 'jJAnI puruSa' bhAga-1 graMtha ke rUpa meM jagat ko arpita ho rahA hai| dAdA ke zrImukha se nikalI huI vANI meM unhoMne khuda ne apane jIvana kI bAteM batAI haiN| usa vANI kA itanA kalekzana hai ki bhaviSya meM unake jIvana kI bAtoM para 'jJAnI puruSa' ke aura adhika bhAga chapa skeNge| hamAre pAsa taraha-taraha kI bAtoM ke suMdara kalekzana to haiM hii| sabhI keseTa likhI jA cukI haiM aura unameM se besTa kalekzana milA hai aura bahuta hI acchI, sUkSma bAteM bahuta mahenata se DhU~Dhakara rakhI gaI haiN| isa kArya ke hone meM bahuta bar3I TIma hai, jisameM brahmacArI bhAI-bahaneM tathA kitane hI mahAtmA bhAI-bahaneM dina-rAta mehanata kara rahe haiM aura phira kitane hI dUsare loga DAyarekTalI-inaDAyarekTalI sahAyaka hue haiN| ina saba kI mehanata ke pariNAma svarUpa itanI acchI cIz2a itanI jaldI taiyAra ho sakI hai| 'jJAnI puruSa' ke isa graMtha meM hamAre pAsa dAdAzrI dvArA bolI gaI vANI kA jo kalekzana thA usake AdhAra para saba TailI karake-jA~ca karake aura bahuta hI satarkatA pUrvaka saMpAdana kI z2immedArI adA huI hai, phira bhI isa pustaka ke saMkalana meM yadi kSati raha gaI ho to usake lie sujJa vAcaka varga hameM kSamA kreN| parama pUjya dAdAzrI kA yaha jIvana cAritra jagat ko samarpita karate hue hama dhanyatA kA anubhava kara rahe haiN| hama sabhI mahAtmA isa graMtha kA gaharAI se abhyAsa karake, mAnava meM se mahAmAnava bane ina vyakti ke guNoM kI prazaMsA aura ArAdhanA kareMge aura ise nakArAtmaka yA laukika dRSTi se nahIM taulate hue, ise paoNz2iTiva aura alaukika dRSTi se taulakara unake aise guNoM aura vyaktitva ko AtmasAta karane kI bhAvanA karake, svakalyANa ke puruSArtha ke sAtha jagat kalyANa ke mizana meM hama yathAyogya yogadAna karake kRtArtha hoM isI aMtara kI abhilASA sahita AtmabhAva se prnnaam| dIpaka ke jaya saccidAnaMda 12

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saMpAdakIya isa kAla ke adbhuta Azcarya haiM jJAnI puruSa dAdA bhagavAna, jinake prAkaTya se eka akalpanIya AdhyAtmika krAMti sarjita huI hai| isa kalikAla meM jahA~ yathArtha rUpa se dhArmika zAstroM ke sthUla artha ko bhI samajhanA muzkila hai vahA~ para usameM samAe hue gUDhArtha aura tatvArtha ko kaise samajhA jA sakatA hai? aura yadi vaha samajha meM na Ae to phira vAstavika artha meM adhyAtma ko prApta bhI kaise kiyA jA sakatA hai? lekina kudarata kI balihArI to dekho! isa kalikAla meM aise prakhara jJAnI puruSa kA avataraNa huA jinake mAdhyama se sAmAnya vyakti bhI AsAnI se adhyAtma ko samajha to sakatA hI hai, lekina itanA hI nahIM yathArtha rUpa se svAnubhUti bhI kara sakatA hai| mAtra eka hI ghaMTe meM bhedajJAna ke prayoga se svarUpa jJAna kI prApti karavA denA, vaha kyA koI aisI-vaisI siddhi hai ? aise siddhivAna vyakti kA vyaktitva kitanA nirAlA hogA aura usa siddhi kI prApti ke pIche kyA bhAvanA yA puruSArtha rahA hogA hameM use jAnane kI utkaMThA hue bagaira to rahegI hI nahIM na? zikhara para pahu~cane ke lie talahaTI se usa mArga taka prayANa karake hara koI vahA~ para pahu~ca sake to vahA~ kautuhalatA nahIM hogI, aisA svAbhAvika hai lekina zikhara para pahu~cane ke lie jahA~ para mArga hI dRSTigocara nahIM hai vahA~, jaba koI zikhara para pahu~cakara cAroM tarapha kA varNana kare taba ahobhAva se Azcarya hue bagaira nahIM rahatA ki ye vyakti vahA~ para kisa prakAra se, kisa samajha se, kaise puruSArtha se pahu~ca sake hoMge! koI anubhavI vyakti hI usakA aisA hUbahU varNana kara sakatA hai jo ki buddhigamya aura kAlpanika nahIM hai lekina vAstavika hai! jJAnI puruSa dAdA bhagavAna ko 1958 meM ekAeka AtmajJAna to huA lekina usase pahale, janma se lekara taba taka unakI jarnI (yAtrA) kisa prakAra se huI? kyA musIbateM AI? kisa prakAra se saphalatA prApta kI vagairaha, hameM aise rahasyoM ko jAnane kI jijJAsA honA bhI svAbhAvika hai| isI hetu se mahAtmAoM ne parama pUjya dAdAzrI se unake 13

Page #15
jIvana ke bAre meM aneka prazna pUche haiM aura dAdAzrI ne apane darzana meM dekhakara yathArtha rUpa se una saba ke javAba die haiN| parama pUjya dAdAzrI dvArA varNita unake jIvana kI ghaTanAoM ko saMkalita karake prakAzita karane ke isa prayAsa se yaha jIvana cAritra graMtha bhAga-1 hamAre hAtha meM AyA hai| usameM unake bacapana kI ghaTanAe~ tathA pArivArika jIvana ke bAre meM jAnakArI prApta hotI hai / parama pUjya dAdAzrI ne jaisA batAyA usI rUpa meM yaha saMkalana prakAzita huA hai| unhIM ke zabdoM meM likhita yaha pustaka vAstava meM eka adbhuta upahAra hai ! hamAre lie yaha gaurava kI bAta hai ki jisa prakAra se parama pUjya dAdAzrI ne unake anubhava ke nicor3a ke rUpa meM AtmajJAna aura mokSamArga kA puruSArtha dikhAyA hai, usI prakAra se unhIM ke darzana dvArA likhita ye jIvana prasaMga hamezA ke lie eka yAdagAra bana jaaeNge| jise par3hate hI hameM usa samaya kA, unakI dazA kA, unake vyaktitva kA, unakI sUjha- samajha aura bodhakalA ke darzana hote haiN| parama pUjya dAdAzrI ne jyoM kA tyoM, kucha bhI gupta rakhe binA, sAdI-sarala zailI meM saba batA diyA hai jo unake nikhAlasa vyaktitva kI jhalaka de jAtA hai| unakA morala aura unakI jJAnadazA vAstava meM prasaMzanIya haiN| rileTiva meM laghuttama banakara riyala meM gurutama banane kI dRSTi to koI viralA hI rakha sakatA hai| skUla meM laghuttama sAdhAraNa avayava sIkhate hue bhagavAna kI paribhASA DhU~Dha nikAlI ki bhagavAna jIvamAtra meM avibhAjya rUpa se rahe hue haiN| kaisI guhya tAtvika dRSTi ! aisI dRSTi hI batA detI hai ki bacapana meM bhI unakA AdhyAtmika DevelapamenTa kitanA ucca thA ! isa samajha ke AdhAra para ve laghuttama kI tarapha gae aura isI ravaiye ne unheM paramAtma pada se navAz2A ! dAdAzrI khuda kahate the ki hamArI mati vipula hai, hamArI dRSTi vicakSaNa hai / koI bhI ghaTanA hotI thI to usameM hameM cAroM tarapha ke haz2AroM vicAra A jAte the aura sAra nikAla dete the| bar3e-bar3e zAstroM kA sAra bhI ve peja palaTakara sirpha paMdraha minaTa meM nikAla dete the aura samajha jAte the ki yaha zAstra AdhyAtmikatA ke kauna se mIla para hai| 14

Page #16
unheM eka-eka bAta para haz2AroM vicAra Ate the to usa para se hameM prazna hotA hai ki kaise vicAra Ae hoMge, aMdara kaisI samajha rahatI hogI, lekina vAstava meM unhoMne khuda ne jaba ye bAteM batAI taba unakA enAlisisa dekhane ko milA, hameM samajhane ko milA ki 'ohoho! aisI DIpa anDarasTainDiMga (gaharI samajha)!' unhoMne apane jIvana meM milane vAle vyaktiyoM kI prakRti pahacAnI, una logoM ko unakI prAkRtika kamajoriyoM meM se, burI AdatoM meM se kisa taraha se chur3avAyA, jisake bAre meM pUrA gA~va aura usake parivAra ke loga negeTiva bolate the, usa vyakti meM koI to paoNz2iTiva guNa hogA hI, aura aMta meM khuda ne apanA samaya aura paisA usa vyakti ke acche guNa DhU~Dhakara use enkareja karake Age bar3hAne meM lagAte the| hameM unakI vaha maulika vizeSatA dekhane ko milatI hai| unheM isa saMsAra meM kucha bhI nahIM cAhie thaa| jaise ki khuda isa saMsAra kA oNbjarvezana karane hI Ae hoM aura 'mujhe jo milA use sukhI banA dUM' aisI bhAvanA se jIvana jiye, aisA khule taura para samajha meM AtA hai| unake dila meM hamezA yahI rahatA thA ki kisI ko duHkha nahIM denA hai aura duHkha nahIM dene ke lie ve sabhI eDajasTamenTa lete the| sabhI ke paoNz2iTiva hI dekhe aura khuda duHkhI bhI nahIM hue| paristhiti ko samajhakara praoNblama saoNlva kI haiM, vaha unake vyavahAra meM dikhAI diyA hai| vyApAra meM bhAgIdAra, naukara, baoNsa ke sAtha aura parivAra janoM ke sAtha prAkRtika rAga-dveSa, prAkRtika doSoM ke kAraNa jisa taraha sabhI sAmAnya loga saMsAra meM rahakara TakarAva-matabheda-ciMtA-duHkha aura bhogavaTA (sukha yA duHkha kA asara) bhugatate haiM, vaise hI duHkha-bhaya-nAsamajhI kI ulajhaneM unhoMne khuda ne bhugatIM aura unake pariNAma meM se sahI samajha dvArA chUTe bhI sahI aura Akhira meM hamezA ke lie du:kha mukta ho ske| unake jIvana meM yaha vizeSatA dekhane ko milatI hai ki phAdaramadara, bar3e bhAI-bhAbhI, bujurgoM ke prati unakA vinaya aura prema hamezA rahA hai| unhoMne kabhI bhI unase bar3e banakara vyavahAra nahIM kiyaa| 15

Page #17
unake jIvana meM mAtA-pitA, bhAI-bhAbhI, cAcA-bhatIje, patnI, mitra vagairaha logoM ke bAhya vyavahAra aura AMtarika samajha, prAkRtika guNa-doSa va unake sAtha unheM khuda ko kyoM, kisalie, kaisA vyavahAra kiyA, jJAnadazA meM rahakara ve ina sabhI bAtoM kA sUkSmatA se varNana kara pAe haiN| prakRti ke paoNz2iTiva-negeTiva, guNa-doSoM kI bAteM aura unake pratikramaNa kitane pachatAve sahita, kisa prakAra se kie haiM, vaha saba z2Ahira kiyA hai| jaise ki kisI anya vyakti kI bAta kara rahe hoM, usa prakAra niSkapaTa rUpa se, nikhAlasatA se batA diyA hai| isa saMsAra meM guru se saMbaMdhita, bhagavAna se saMbaMdhita, yamarAja se saMbaMdhita aneka prakAra kI ajJAna mAnyatAoM kA khAtamA unhoMne bacapana se hI kara diyA aura unhoMne khuda ne sahI bAta ko samajhA aura use nirbhayatA se batA sake aura sAmAnya logoM kI nAsamajhI dUra karake unheM nirbhaya banA ske| dAdAzrI ne khuda ke jIvana vyavahAra kI sabhI galatiyA~ mahAtmAoM ke sAmane batA dIM jaise ki khuda AlocanA karake apanI bhUloM se mukta ho gae! aise mahAna puruSa khuda kI bhUleM saba ke sAmane batA deM, hara jagaha 'no sIkresI', yaha hakIkata vAstava meM prasaMzanIya hai| unhoMne kyA bhUleM kI, kisa prakAra se bhUloM meM se bAhara nikale aura kaise bhUloM se hamezA ke lie mukta hue, kyA bodha liyA aura usa jAgRti ko jiMdagI bhara hAz2ira rakhA, phira kabhI bhI ripITa nahIM hone diyA, aise samajhadArI bhare puruSArtha se khuda sApha hokara mokSa ke lAyaka bana ge| yahA~ dAdAzrI hameM yaha bodha sikhA jAte haiM ki jIvana meM khuda kI bhUloM ko pahacAno, unake lie pachatAvA karake bhUloM meM se mukta ho jaao| jaba bhUleM khatma ho jAe~gI to yahIM para mokSa brtegaa| dAdAzrI ke bacapana meM lokasaMjJA, saMgata aura pUrvakarma ke udaya ke kAraNa tAza kA tInapattI kA khela khelanA aura aMgUThI kI corI karanA aisI kucha ghaTanAe~ huI haiM lekina una udAharaNoM ko hameM negeTiva tarIke se nahIM lenA hai| dAdAzrI kahate the ki jJAnI jo karate haiM vaha 16

Page #18
nahIM karanA hai lekina ve jo kaheM, vaha karanA hai isalie hameM unake jIvana meM huI galatiyoM kA anukaraNa nahIM karanA hai lekina hama se kabhI aisI galatiyA~ na hoM, aisI jAgRti rakhakara hamezA ke lie bhUla rahita bananA hai, taba phira mokSa mArga pUrNa hogaa| yahA~ para likhI huI dAdAzrI ke pUrvAzrama kI sabhI bAteM nimittAdhIna nikalI haiM, lekina aMdara se unheM khuda ko AtmadazA kI saMpUrNa jAgRti baratatI hai| eka bAra satsaMga meM rAta ko unakI phaimilI kI bAteM nikalI thiiN| usameM logoM ne taraha-taraha kI bAteM pUchIM aura dAdAzrI ne bAteM kI ki, 'hamAre bhAI, hamArI bhAbhI, hamArI madara aisI thIM, hamAre phAdara aise the'| aMta meM unhoMne kahA ki, 'Aja Apa saba loga to or3hakara so jAoge jabaki mujhe to pUrI rAta pratikramaNa karane hoMge kyoMki hama AtmA haiM, AtmA kA na bhAI hotA hai, na bhAbhI hotI hai| ve saba bhI AtmA haiM lekina sabhI ko rileTiva rUpa se dekhaa| ataH hameM Aja pUrI rAta yaha jitane bhI rAga-dveSa vAle vAkya bole gae haiM una sabhI ke pratikramaNa karake miTAnA par3egA!' yahA~ para unakI vaha samajha dRSTigocara hotI hai ki ve khuda, Aja jisa Atma svarUpa meM haiM, usI svarUpa meM rahanA cAhate haiN| Aja ve khuda pUrva meM udaya meM AI dazAoM meM nahIM haiM, Aja khuda AtmA rUpI haiM, phira bhI unhoMne apane pUrvAzrama kI jo bAteM vANI meM bolIM, unheM nizcaya dRSTi se miTA denA pdd'egaa| bolate samaya bhI jAgRti rahatI hai ki 'yaha maiM nahIM hU~ aura vaha khuda vaha nahIM hai, vaha bhI AtmA hai, maiM bhI AtmA huuN'| phira bhI udaya meM aisA bolane kA maukA AyA isalie sApha karanA pdd'egaa| prakaTa jJAna avatAra kI yahI adbhutatA hai| khuda kA AtmApana cUkanA nahIM hai aura jJAna se pahale ajJAna dazA meM vyavahAra kI jo galatiyA~ huI thIM, ve ghaTanAe~ batA dI aura sApha kara diiN| sAtha hI sAtha nizcaya se tatvadRSTi na cUka jAe~, vaha bAta bhI batA dii| isa prakAra nizcaya va vyavahAra donoM zuddhatA meM A ge| isIlie 17

Page #19
to ve 'akrama vijJAna ke praNetA' banakara anya logoM ke kalyANa ke nimitta bana ske| aisI to kaI sArI bAteM yahA~ para likhI gaI haiM, jinake adhyayana se hameM unake anokhe vyaktitva ke svAda kA AnaMda milatA hai aura ahobhAva hotA hai| dhanya hai aMbAlAla jI ko! dhanya hai unake mAtApitA ko! dhanya hai unake rAjasI kula ko! unakA jIvana aMbAlAla mUlajI bhAI paTela ke rUpa meM zurU huA thA aura khuda jJAnadazA se jJAnI puruSa banakara 'dAdA bhagavAna' ke svarUpa taka pahu~ca ske| aise dAdA nahIM mileMge, dAdA kA aisA jJAna nahIM milegA aura aisA jIvana cAritra jAnane ko nahIM milegaa| adbhuta! adbhuta! adbhuta! __ bacapana se hI unake jIvana kA dhyeya kyA thA? to vaha yaha ki, 'mujhe UparI nahIM pusAte the| mujhe bhagavAna jAnane the| sacamuca ke bhagavAna kahA~ haiM, kyA karate haiM, kisa svarUpa meM haiM, merA jIvana usakI prApti ke lie thaa'| aura vaha DhU~Dhate-DhU~Dhate phira jIvana meM jo zikSaNa AyA, phAdara-madara, bhAI-bhAbhI saba ke sAtha ke vyavahAra meM bhI unakI yaha khoja rukI nahIM thI aura aMta meM use prApta kara ske| niraMtara unake citta meM bhagavAna se saMbaMdhita yaha enAlisisa calatA rahatA thaa| ve mere aMdara hI baiThe hue haiM, hara eka ke aMdara baiThe hue haiM, aisA vizvAsa to unheM ho gayA thA aura aMta meM 1958 meM jaba jJAna prakaTa huA to pUrNAhuti huii| usake bAda to unakA jIvana jagat kalyANa meM hI bItA, lekina aise jJAnI puruSa ke bacapana kA varNana unhIM ke mu~ha se, unhIM ke zabdoM meM hameM, talapadI bhASA meM milatA hai aura phira sApha-sApha bAteM haiN| unakI khuda kI dekhI huI aura anubhava kI huii| vAstava meM yaha eka adbhuta pustaka banI hai| jagat kalyANa ke isa mizana meM dAdA kI kRpA hai, nIrU mA~ ke AzIrvAda haiM aura isameM devI-devatAoM kI z2abaradasta sahAyatA hai| isalie isa duniyA ko aise anupama jJAnI puruSa kI pahacAna ho, usameM 18

Page #20
hama to mahenata karate hI haiM lekina devI-devatAoM, dAdA aura nIrU mA~ ina saba kI asaMkhya kRpA se acchA kAma ho rahA hai| hameM to AnaMda karanA hai aura dAdA ke guNagAna gAte rahanA hai| vaha ArAdhanA karate-karate, unakI bhajanA-bhakti karate-karate, usI rUpa banakara rheNge| dAdA kI AptavANiyA~ aura anya kitAboM meM se hameM jJAnakalA to bahuta jAnane aura sIkhane ko milatI hai lekina vyavahAra, parivAra yA vyApAra meM kabhI aisA maukA A jAtA hai ki nizcaya se hama pA~ca AjJA pAlane kA puruSArtha to karate haiM lekina vyavahAra meM hama aba kyA nirNaya leM, phAiloM ke sAtha kA vyavahAra jyoM kA tyoM rakhanA hai yA kama kara denA hai aura jyoM kA tyoM rakheMge to aMdara unake lie kauna sI vyavahArika samajha seTa karanI hai, usake lie hameM isa graMtha meM dAdA kI kaI bodhakalAe~ jAnane ko mileNgii| aisA hara eka ko anubhava hogA ki vyavahAra kI ulajhanoM ko sulajhAne ke lie dAdA kI anokhI sUjha kA jo bhaMDAra hai, vaha unhoMne mahAtmAoM ke lie khola diyA hai| hameM to aba jJAnI puruSa ke isa jIvana cAritra kA adhyayana karake vyavahAra meM una jaisI sUjha-samajha, satarkatA, jAgRti aura puruSArtha rahe, aise nizcaya ke sAtha, 'nizcaya-vyavahAra' kI samAnatA ke sAtha mokSa kA puruSArtha kara lenA hai, vahI aMtara kI abhyrthnaa| dIpaka desAI 19

Page #21
upodghAta [1] bacapana [1.1] parivAra kA paricaya yaha graMtha jJAnI puruSa dAdA bhagavAna ke jIvana cAritra para hai| isa graMtha meM dAdAzrI kI saralatA aura sahajatA dekhane ko milatI hai| ve bacce jaisI saralatA se javAba dete haiN| logoM ne satsaMga meM baiThe-baiThe unake bAre meM sabhI bAteM pUchI haiM aura unhoMne khuda ke jIvana kI kitAba jyoM kI tyoM kholakara rakha dI hai| ve khuda e.ema.paTela ke sAtha naz2adIkI par3osI kI taraha rahate the, ataH isa taraha se sabakucha batA diyA jaise ki par3osI kA jIvana cAritra batA rahe hoN| kharAba huA, acchA huA, kyoM aisA huA, unhoMne isameM se kyA sIkhA, unhoMne khuda ne kaisI-kaisI galatiyA~ kI thIM aura kisa prakAra se unake lie pachatAvA kiyA, ye sabhI bAteM hameM jAnane ko milatI haiN| vizeSatA to yaha hai ki hama saba ke jIvana meM jaisI ghaTanAe~ ghaTatI haiM, unake jIvana meM bhI vaisI hI ghaTanAe~ huIM lekina ve khuda sAkSI bhAva se, objarvara kI taraha rahe aura usa samaya kisa taraha ke sUkSma se sUkSma vicAra Ae, vaha saba bhI dekha ske| itanA hI nahIM lekina unakI bacapana kI vicAra zreNI kI sattara-pacahattara-assI sAla taka kI umra meM bhI jaise ki Aja hI na huA ho, usa taraha se batA sake haiM, yahI jJAnI puruSa kI adbhutatA hai| logoM ne unake bacapana ke bAre meM prazna pUche haiM to unhoMne saralatA se javAba bhI die haiN| 'saMkSipta meM apanA jIvana cAritra batAie', to kahA ki 'merA nAma aMbAlAla mUlajI bhAI paTela hai, maiM bhAdaraNa gA~va kA vAsI hU~, merI madara jhavera bA haiM, mere phAdara mUlajI bhAI, mere bar3e bhAI maNi bhaaii'| yaha bhI batA diyA ki 'maiM maiTrika phela huuN'| vivAha ke bAre meM bhI batAyA ki, 'paMdraha sAla kI umra meM zAdI huI thI, vAipha kA nAma hIrA baa| do bacce hue the (madhusUdana, kpilaa)| donoM bacapana meM hI guz2ara ge'| 20

Page #22
janma nanihAla meM, tarasAlI gA~va meM (jilA bar3audA) meM huA thaa| unakA janmadina sAta navambara 1908 aura vikrama saMvata ke hisAba se 1965, kArtika suda caudasa / khuda bhAdaraNa gA~va ke, bhAdaraNa carotarI paTeloM ke cha: gA~va meM Ate haiN| yaha TaoNpa klAsa carotara gA~va meM se eka mAnA jAtA hai| khuda kRpAludeva ne bhI kahA thA ki hamArA janma carotara meM huA hotA to aura adhika logoM kA kalyANa hotaa| bhAdaraNa ke pATIdAra mUla aDAlaja gA~va se Ae the isalie dAdAjI kahate the ki, 'hama sabhI cha: gA~va vAle mUla rUpa se aDAlaja ke haiN| unakA janma saMskArI parivAra meM huA thaa| unakI madara jAtivAna, komala hRdayI, dayAlu, snehI svabhAva vAlI, bahuta hI samajhadAra thiiN| phAdara kulavAna, braoNDa viz2ana vAle the aura aise the ki unameM koI bhI dAg2a-corI-luccAI dekhane ko nahIM milii| phAdara-madara pyoriTI vAle aura unakA jIvana hamezA aisA rahA ki kisa prakAra se logoM kI helpa ho| aMbAlAla jI ko ve saMskAra bacapana se hI mile| unake samaya meM kahA jAtA thA ki aisI madara to zAyada hI kisI kAla meM kisI ko milatI hai| yAnI ki phaimilI acchI, madara bahuta hI saMskArI! khAnadAnI pATIdAra parivAra meM usa z2amAne meM daheja bahuta acchA milatA thaa| kuTuMba ucca lekina jAyadAda kucha jyAdA nahIM thI, khAnadAnI kI hI kImata thii| sAr3he chaH bIghA nanihAla meM aura dasa bIghA bhAdaraNa meM, itanI hI jAyadAda thii| loga dAdAjI se pUchate the ki 'agara aisA puNya ho tabhI itanI acchI jagaha para janma hotA hai to phira ApakA janma aisI vaibhavazAlI jagaha para kyoM nahIM huA? jahA~ baMgalA vagairaha saba taiyAra milte'| dAdAzrI kahate haiM ki 'pichale janmoM meM maiM usa vaibhava ko dekhakara hI AyA huuN| mujhe to zurU se hI bhautika vaibhava bilkula bhI acchA nahIM 21

Page #23
lagatA thaa| zurU se hI vaibhava vAlI cIz2a mileM to acchI nahIM lagatI thiiN'| inakI yaha eka vizeSatA thI bacapana se hii| sAmAnya rUpa se choTe bAlakoM ko sukha, anukUlatA, vaibhava, maujamaz2e acche lagate haiM lekina bAlaka aMbAlAla ko yaha saba acchA nahIM lagatA thA isalie ve hamezA kahate the ki, 'merA jIvana isa duniyA ko dekhane meM, oNbjarvezana meM hI bItA hai| mujhe saMsAra bhogane meM koI ruci nahIM thii| mujhe isa jagat kI hakIkata jAnane meM inTaresTa thaa| mAtra AdhyAtmika jAnane meM hI ruci thii| saMsAra meM mujhe kucha bhI nahIM cAhie thaa| yaha sukha mujhe zurU se hI kar3avA lagatA thaa'| dAdAzrI kahate haiM ki 'maiM pUrva janma se aisA hisAba lekara AyA thA, isalie aise parivAra meM janma huaa| mUla rUpa se bIja merA thA aura unameM yaha dikhAI dene kI vajaha se, unakI vajaha se mere pUrva janma ke prAkRtika guNa aura saMskAra prakaTa hue'| jisa parivAra meM aise jJAnI puruSa kA janma ho, usa parivAra ko to lAbha hotA hI hai lekina kitanI hI pIr3hiyoM ko yaha lAbha milatA hai ! lekina usameM bhI yadi koI pahacAna jAe ki, 'ye jJAnI puruSa haiM', unase jJAna prApta kare aura AjJA kA pAlana kare to mokSa kA kanekzana mila jAtA hai| varnA basa itanA hI hai ki saMsAra lAbha prApta hotA hai| unake kuTuMba kI vizeSatA yaha thI ki cha:-sAta pIr3hiyoM se kisI lar3akI kA janma nahIM huA thaa| kisI ko bhI sAlA bananA acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| pUrva kAla meM koI aisA ahaMkAra kiyA hogA jisase ki 'sAlA' zabda sunane se apamAna mahasUsa huA hogaa| tabhI se gA~Tha bA~dha dI hogI ki kisI kA sAlA nahIM bananA hai| aisA jo huA, vaha to pUrva janma meM kie hue ahaMkAra ke pariNAma svarUpa huA hogA aura use vaha khuda apanI kamaz2orI ke rUpa meM svIkAra karate haiN| bacapana se hI unheM g2az2aba kI khumArI rahatI thiiN| unheM aisA rahatA thA ki khuda pUrva janma kI koI pU~jI lekara Ae haiN| koI sAdhu agara unase kahatA ki 'vidhi karavAnI par3egI', to ve khuda madara se kahate the 22

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ki 'vidhi mata krvaanaa'| aura usa sAdhu se bhI kaha diyA ki "maiM to 'rAma kI ciTThI' lekara AyA huuN|" __ [1.2] nirdoSa grAmya jIvana madara ne ATha sAla taka ghI nahIM khAne kA praNa liyA thA aura hamezA aMbA mA~ kI bhakti karate the isalie unakA nAma aMbAlAla pdd'aa| bacapana meM galagoTA (geMde) jaisA caherA thA isalie pyAra se unakA nAma 'galo' rakhA thaa| unake z2amAne meM kapar3oM kI kamI thI, to bacapana meM nau-dasa sAla ke hone taka to kapar3e bhI nahIM pahanAte the isalie choTe baccoM meM viSaya-vikAra jAgRta hI nahIM hote the| caudaha-paMdraha sAla ke hone ke bAda bhI gA~va kI lar3akiyoM ko bahana kahate the| yAnI ki koI kharAba vicAra hI nhiiN| bholI-bhadrika prajA, nirdoSa grAmINa jIvana jIte the| bacapana meM kyA-kyA huA thA, usakA A~khoM dekhA varNana unhoMne khuda ne batAyA hai| mana meM kyA thA, kisa samajha kI vajaha se aisA ho gayA, usa samaya vANI aura vartana kaise the, logoM ke vicAra-vANI aura vartana kaise the, vaha saba usa samaya bacapana meM hI atyaMta sUkSma rUpa se noTa kiyA thA, use samajha sake the| vaha saba samajhakara, gA~va kI talapadI bhASA meM unhoMne apane jIvana ke prasaMga batA die haiN| [1.3] bacapana se hI vyavahArika sUjha ucca logoM ne bacapana meM dAdAzrI ko 'sAta samoliyo' nAmaka upanAma diyA thaa| yoM to jaba baila ko jutAI ke lie le jAte haiM taba samola hala meM jotA jAtA hai to sAta samoliyA baila kI bahuta kImata milatI hai| vaha baila khetI bAr3I kI z2amIna jotane ke kAma AtA hai, ku~e se pAnI kI rahaTa khIMcatA hai, baila gAr3I calAtA hai, A~khoM para paTTI bA~dhakara ghAnI calAnI ho to usameM bhI kAma AtA hai| jisa taraha vaha sAta taraha ke kAmoM meM AtA hai usI taraha aMbAlAla ko hotA thA ki 23

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mujha meM kucha zakti haiM isalie mujhe saba 'sAta samoliyo' kahate haiM, isase ve mana hI mana khuza hote the| __ par3hane-likhane vAle eka samoliyo kahalAte haiN| use sirpha par3hAI yAnI eka hI kornara acchA lagatA hai aura bAkI sabhI tarapha kA socanA acchA nahIM lagatA jabaki sAta samoliyA to ghara meM rahakara par3he taba bhI hisAba lagAtA rahatA hai ki hamArI inkama kitanI hai, kharcA kitanA hai, mA~-bApa ko kitanI takalIpha hotI hogI, unake pAsa yaha sArA hisAba rahatA hai, ve itane vicakSaNa hote haiN| loga Amane-sAmane bAteM kara rahe hoM to ve samajha sakate haiM ki kyA bAta kara rahe haiM! hara eka taraha se dhyAna rakhate haiN| mA~-bApa kI sevA karate haiM, paisA kisa taraha se AtA hai, kahA~ nukasAna ho jAtA hai, mA~-bApa kI sthiti kyA hai, ina saba bAtoM kA unheM dhyAna rahatA hai| aisA sAta samoliyA to koI hI iMsAna hotA hai| aMbAlAla jI vaise hI the isalie kahate the na ki, 'mujhe par3hAI meM itanA nahIM AyA, maiTrika phela huaa'| par3hAI karanA nahIM AyA thA lekina unakA dhyAna cAroM tarapha rahatA thaa| par3hAI meM ekAgratA nahIM rahatI thI lekina bacapana se hI vyavahArika sUjha ucca prakAra kI thii| bacapana se aisA moha hI nahIM thA ki citta kahIM cipaka jAe isalie bacapana meM jo kucha bhI huA, vaha unheM pUrI taraha se yAda rhaa| 'isa dina, isa jagaha para aisA huA thA,' aisA saba unheM dikhAI detA thaa| jIvana meM, umra ke hara eka sAla meM kyA huA, una saba ko samajha sakate the, aura bar3e hone para bhI unheM vaha saba jyoM kA tyoM yAda rhaa| pUchane para bAta nikalatI thI aura ve sabakucha dekhakara batA sakate the| [1.4] khela kUda bacapana se hI anya baccoM ke sAtha milakara zarArata aura mastI karate the| nanihAla meM jAte the taba gA~va meM tAlAba meM jo bhaiMsa baiThI hotI thIM, una para baiTha jAte the| nanihAla meM sabhI bhA~je kA sammAna karate the, mAna sahita rakhate the| khela khelate the lekina vicArazIla the| pataMga ur3Ane meM kabhI bhI 24

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samaya nahIM bigaadd'aa| ve kahate the ki pataMga ur3Ane meM koI maz2A nahIM hai, phAyadA nahIM hai| vAstava meM makara saMkrAMti ke samaya sUrya kI ora dekhanA hitakArI hai isalie jaba loga pataMga ur3Ate the to ve khuda sirpha dekhate the| loga jaisA dekhA-dekhI se karate haiM unhoMne vaisA nahIM kiyaa| paTAkhe phor3ane kA bhI unhoMne sAra nikAla liyaa| rAjA khuda paTAkhe phor3atA hai yA naukara se phur3avAtA hai ? kisI rAjA ne paTAkhe nahIM phoDe, naukara se hI phUDavAte haiN| ve khada paTAkhe nahIM phoDate the, kursI para baiThakara dekhate the| lAbha kisameM hai, unakI vicakSaNa buddhi dvArA vaha unheM samajha meM A hI jAtA thaa| isa z2amAne meM bacapana meM bhAbhI ke sAtha holI khelI thii| bhAbhI gyAraha sAla kI thIM aura ve khuda dasa sAla ke| to ve rAga-dveSa bhUlakara holI khelate the| usake bAda desI ghI aura gur3a se banI seva khAte the aura AnaMda karate the, aisA nirdoSa grAmya jIvana thA tb| [2] zaikSaNika jIvana [2.1] par3hanA thA bhagavAna khojane ke bAre meM sAta sAla kI umra meM skUla meM dAkhila hue aura cauthI kakSA taka gujarAtI meM par3he aura usake bAda maiTrika taka aMgrez2I meM pddh'e| unhoMne bhAdaraNa gA~va meM hI par3hAI kii| par3hAI karate hue eka bAra bar3e bhAI unheM kucha sikhAne lage, use dekhakara phAdara ne aisA kahA ki 'yaha to saba par3hakara hI AyA hai, tU ise kahA~ par3hAne baiThA?' itanA sunate hI una para itanA asara ho gayA, ahaMkAra car3ha gayA aura usase unakA par3hanA ruka gyaa| jaba skUla meM jAte the to ghaMTI bajane ke bAda hI skUla meM dAkhila hote the| mAsTara jI ciDhate the to usa para dhyAna nahIM dete the| eka taraha kA rauba thA mana meM, Ar3AI thI ki 'dera se hI jAU~gA, kyA kara leMge?' aisI zarAratI prakRti thI ki mAsTara sAhaba bhI ghabarAte the| aisA 25

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kyoM hotA thA kyoMki unheM zurU se hI paravazatA acchI nahIM lagatI thii| buddhi itanI hAipara thI jo AvaraNa vAlI thI isalie phira aisI kucha zarArata kie bagaira rahate hI nahIM the| bar3I muzkila se par3hAI ke lie klAsa meM baiThate the| skUla kI par3hAI nahIM AtI thii| usameM ekAgratA nahIM ho pAtI thI jabaki dUsarI tarapha hara eka tarapha kA z2abaradasta kaoNmanasensa thaa| isase unheM khuda ko samajha meM AyA ki par3hAI eka hI tarapha kI lAina hai, aura vaha pUrI nahIM hogii| hameM yaha nahIM jmegaa| aura phira par3hAI karane kA phala kyA hai ? naukarI DhU~DhanI par3egI, usameM bhI phira paravazatA mahasUsa hotI thI ki mujhe sira para UparI nahIM caahie| itanA pAvara phula kaoNmanasensa, vaha pUrva janma kA aisA saba sAmAna lekara Ae the ki kaoNmana logoM meM vaisI sUjha-zakti dekhane ko hI nahIM miltii| unake bar3e bhAI maNi bhAI ke mitra jo ki adhyApaka the, unhoMne aMbAlAla ko DA~Ta diyA ki 'aMbAlAla, tujhe itane sAla ho gae phira bhI aMgrejI bolanA nahIM aayaa| tU ThIka se par3hAI nahIM karatA hai, tU apanI jiMdagI kharAba kara rahA hai| mujhe tere bar3e bhAI kI sunanI pdd'egii'| phira Akhira meM aMbAlAla ne mAsTara jI se sApha-sApha kaha hI diyA ki, 'paMdraha sAla se par3hAI kara rahA hU~, isa aMgrejI bhASA ko par3hane meM paMdraha sAla bIta ge| itanI mehanata agara bhagavAna ko khojane meM lagAI hotI, to avazya hI bhagavAna prApta kara cukA hotaa'| adhyApaka bhI samajha gae ki jise bhagavAna DhU~Dhane haiM use aisI par3hAI karanA nahIM aaegaa| aMbAlAla kI vicAra zreNI bahuta laMbI calatI thI ki isa phaoNrena kI bhASA ko sIkhane meM unakA AdhA jIvana vyartha jA rahA hai| aura isa janma meM phira se sIkhanA hai| agale janma meM vApasa bhUla jAe~ge aura phira se naI bhASA sIkhanI hogii| eka hI cIz2a ko lAkhoM janma taka par3hate rahe haiM! yahA~ par3hAI karate haiM aura phira vaha AvRta ho jAtA hai| ajJAna ko par3hanA nahIM hotA, vaha to sahaja bhAva se A hI jAtA 26

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hai, jJAna par3hanA par3atA hai| bar3e bhAI bhI unheM Tokate the ki 'tU par3hAI nahIM karatA hai, par3hane meM dhyAna nahIM rkhtaa'| lekina unheM to saMpUrNa rUpa se svataMtra honA thaa| aMta meM 1958 meM saMpUrNa rUpa se svataMtra hue| ve kahate the ki 'pUre varlDa kA kalyANa karane kA nimitta lekara AyA hU~ aura jagat kA kalyANa avazya hokara hI rhegaa'| skUla meM laghuttama sikhAyA jAtA thA ki ina saba saMkhyAoM meM saba se choTI avibhAjya saMkhyA jo ki hara eka saMkhyA meM samAI huI ho use DhU~Dha nikaalo| dAdAjI kahate the ki, "usa z2amAne meM maiM logoM ko, iMsAnoM ko 'saMkhyA' kahatA thaa| yaha saMkhyA acchI hai, yaha saMkhyA acchI nahIM hai|" to caudaha sAla kI umra meM bhI unheM aisA vicAra AyA ki aisI choTe se choTI cIz2a bhagavAna hI hai jo ki hara eka meM avibhAjya rUpa se rahI huI hai| tabhI se unheM aisA samajha meM A gayA thA ki bhagavAna laghuttama haiM aura laghuttama ke phalasvarUpa bhagavAna pada milatA hai| bacapana se hI unakI thiMkiMga aisI thI ki hara eka bAta ke pariNAma ke bAre meM soca lete the| kisI cIz2a ke bAre meM par3hate nahIM the, lekina sTaDI karate the| usake bAre meM sabhI kucha soca lete the aura usake aMtima pariNAma samajha meM A jAte the| laghuttama kI bAta milI tabhI se ve khuda laghuttama kI tarapha jhukate gae aura aMta meM laghuttama pada prApta karake hI rhe| _[2.2] maiTrika phela paMdraha sAla kI umra meM unhoMne apane phAdara aura bradara ko bAta karate hue sunA ki, 'yaha aMbAlAla acchI taraha se maiTrika meM pAsa ho jAe to use par3hAI ke lie vilAyata bhejeMge aura vahA~ se vaha sUbedAra (kalekTara) banakara aaegaa'| bar3e bhAI bar3audA meM kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma karate the| paisoM kI sahUliyata thI to unakI icchA thI ki thor3A kharca karake unheM vilAyata par3hane bhejeN| aMbAlAla ne socA ki, 'mujhe bar3audA sTeTa kA sUbedAra banAe~, taba bhI kyA? gAyakavAr3a sarakAra kI naukarI 21

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hI karanI hai| usameM tIna sau rupae tanakhvAha milegI, bahuta mAna-sammAna milegaa| phAdara kI kyA icchA hai? unheM kisa phAyade ke lie mujhe sUbedAra banAnA hai? "bApa ko aisA lagatA hai ki merA beTA sUbedAra bane to use jIvana meM maz2A A jAegA aura bar3e bhAI kA aisA rauba par3a jAegA ki 'merA bhAI sUbA hai|" lekina merI kyA dazA hogI? maiM agara sUbedAra banU~gA to mere sira para sarasUbedAra AegA aura phira vaha sarasUbedAra mujhe ddaaNttegaa| koI DA~Te vaha mujhe pusAegA hI nhiiN| tabhI se gA~Tha bA~dhI ki mujhe sUbedAra nahIM bananA hai| pAna kI dukAna lagA lU~gA lekina svataMtra rahU~gA isa taraha sUbedAra banakara hameM paravazatA nahIM caahie| apane Upara koI UparI nahIM caahie| naukarI nahIM karU~gA, svataMtra jIvana jIU~gA isalie aMta meM taya kiyA kI maiTrika pAsa hoU~gA tabhI sUbedAra banAe~ge na! to phira hameM maiTrika meM pAsa hI nahIM honA hai| aThArahaveM sAla meM bar3audA meM maiTrika kI parIkSA dene gae the| vahA~ para bhI ghara meM rahanA TAlA aura hosTala meM rhe| haoNsTala meM khAyA-pIyA, mitroM ke sAtha maz2e kie aura aMta meM ArAma se maiTrika meM phela ho ge| unhoMne yaha bhI socakara rakhA thA ki maiM phela hoU~gA to usakA pariNAma kyA AegA! yA to bhAI unheM apane kaoNnTraikTa ke kAma meM lagA deMge aura yadi bhAI manA kareMge to maiM apane Apa hI pAna kI dukAna lagA lU~gA lekina svataMtra jIvana jiiuuNgaa| phira bhAI ne unase pUchA ki, 'kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma tujhe karanA AegA? kAma para par3e rahanA pdd'egaa'| usake bAda vaha khuda usa kAma meM jaoNina ho ge| ghara kA vyApAra thA, aura phira svataMtratA thI isalie aMbAlAla bhAI ko to yaha pasaMda A gyaa| briliyanTa (tejasvI) dimAga thA isalie chaH mahIne meM hI eksaparTa bana ge| bar3e bhAI bhI una para khuza ho gae Der3ha sAla meM to ve isa kAma meM pharsTa naMbara le aae| [3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma zurU karane ke bAda meM unake pAsa paisoM kI 28

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suvidhA ho gii| usa samaya agara jeba meM do-tIna rupae bhI hote the to pA~ca-cha: dosta pIche ghUmate rahate the, phira ve saba dosta 'jI hA~, jI hA~' karate the| khuda ko mAna-vAna milatA thA, maz2A A jAtA thA aura sabhI cAya-nAztA karate the| ghor3A gAr3I meM ghUmate the aura maz2e karate the| dAdAjI jalebI aura pakaur3e ke zaukIna the, to do-cAra dostoM ke sAtha hoTala meM nAztA kara Ate the| usa z2amAne meM sabjI-bhAjI, cAya-dUdha, arahara kI dAla, Ama, kaitha sabhI meM rasa-kasa itanA acchA thA jo ki Ajakala nahIM milatA hai| aisA svAda bhI nahIM aura rasa-kasa bhI nhiiN| 1984 meM dAdAzrI kahate the ki pichale pacAsa sAloM se kar3avI barasAta ho rahI hai, usase sabhI svAda khatma ho gae haiN| aba thor3I bahuta mIThI barasAta zurU huI hai, to aba mIThA anAja ugegaa| 1928 meM jaba dAdAzrI muMbaI jAte the taba muMbaI kI jana saMkhyA cAra lAkha thii| taba lAiToM kI jagamagAhaTa, zahara kI saphAI se vaha nagarI suMdara lagatI thii| roDa ke kone para bahuta acchI IrAnI hoTala para cAya milatI thii| 1933 meM eka bAra tAja mahala hoTala meM jAkara khuda cAya TesTa kara aae| phira anubhava karake samajha gae ki yaha saba to eTikeTa vAloM kA kAma hai| ve vicArazIla the aura hoziyArI vAlI prakRti thii| eka bAra zAdI meM jAne ke lie pahanane ko dhotI nikAlI to vaha phaTI huI thii| to unakA niyama aisA thA ki sila to sakate haiM lekina paibaMda nahIM lagAnA hai| to unheM aisI kalA AtI thI ki phaTI huI dhotI pahananI par3e phira bhI phaTA huA dikhAI nahIM de aura lage ki ve bilkula acche kapar3e pahane hue haiN| hara eka saMyoga meM ve eDajasTamenTa lekara jAgRti pUrvaka rahate the| ghara se lAe hue sabhI kapar3e kheta meM paMpa meM se nikalate hue pAnI se dho dete the| phira nahAne ke bAda meM Akhira kA eka kapar3A jo bacA hotA thA, use isa taraha saMbhAlakara dho dete the ki chIMTe nA udd'eN| 29

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subaha bhI ArAma se uThanA acchA lagatA thaa| subaha agara jaldI kI Trena pakar3anI hotI to rAta ko dera taka nAztA kiyA hotA to subaha jaldI nahIM uTha pAte the aura phira jaldI uThane ke lie ve kalA karate the| nala meM subaha-subaha pAnI AnA zurU hotA thA, to ve nala ke nIce bAlTI aura thAlI isa taraha se rakha dete the ki jaba pAnI Ae to thAlI para AvAz2a ho tAki ve uTha jAe~ lekina phira bhI uTha nahIM paaeN| sAloM se dera se, sAr3he nau-dasa baje nahAne kI Adata thii| solaha sAla kI umra meM muhalle meM Ate-jAte hue rauba se calate the, usase aisA lagatA thA ki dharatI bhI kA~pa rahI hai| ahaMkArI guNa thA isalie dostoM ke bIca eka bAra mAcisa jalAkara usa para aMgUThA rakhA, phira bhI hAtha sthira rakhA, hilane nahIM diyA aura cehare para bhI koI asara nhiiN| kSatriya paramANu bahuta sakhta hote haiM! bhAdaraNa gA~va meM nATaka dekhe the| kaI bAra to nATaka kaMpanI se kaoNnTraikTa le lete the| Aja kI rAta kA kaoNnTraikTa hamArA hai, usake bAda jo paise bacate the, vaha unakA naphA hotA thaa| bacapana se hI tarahataraha ke anubhava hue the| usa z2amAne (1928) meM sinemA zurU hue| phira nATaka khatma hone lge| sinemA kI unnati hotI gii| taba unhoMne aisA socA ki, 'duniyA meM... sinemA kA kyA pariNAma AegA? yaha to nIce phisalane kI khoja hai| hindustAna ko kharAba kara degA! apane saMskAroM kA kyA hogA? logoM kI ruci sinemA kI tarapha bddh'ii| kaliyuga tez2I se A rahA hai| ulTA asara hogaa'| phira aMta meM yaha vicAra AyA ki, 'isakA upAya kyA hai? kyA apane pAsa koI sattA hai? yadi sattA nahIM hai to aise vicAra kisI kAma ke nahIM haiM, to kyA hindustAna kA aisA hI hogA?' phira ekAMta meM baiThakara socA to aMdara se javAba milA ki 'jo sAdhana tez2I se ulTA pracAra kara sakate haiM, ve sIdhA pracAra bhI utanI hI tez2I se kreNge| sIdhe pracAra ke lie ye sAdhana bahuta acche haiN'| dAdA kahate haiM ki, 'ye jo sAdhana bane haiM, yahI saba sAdhana hindustAna ko sudhaareNge'| to Aja hama dekha rahe haiM ki 30

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TI.vI. ke mAdhyama se satsaMga va jJAna kA prasAra ho rahA hai, jo anekoM ko sanmArga para lA rahA hai| ___abhI kI prajA meM moha bahuta bar3ha gayA haiM isalie tiraskAra, jAti-ke bhedabhAva, Agraha vagairaha saba DAuna ho gae haiN| prajA mohI ho gaI hai| aisI DAuna taka gaI huI prajA ko Upara uThane meM dera hI nahIM lgegii| 1922 me jinakA janma huA thA, ve pAyajAme vAle bne| 1921 taka jinakA janma huA, ve dhotI vAle hI rhe| puruSoM ke pahanAve meM ye do vibhAga bana gae the| [4] nAsamajhI kI vajaha se galatiyA~ bacapana se hI zarArata karane kI Adata thI isalie logoM kI maz2Aka ur3AtA thA lekina jJAna ke bAda samajha meM AyA ki are-are, ye kaise doSa! lekina una dinoM to bhAna hI nahIM thaa| masakharI karanAzarArata karanA, vaha bhI kaisI ki bar3e loga, jo vRddha aura bUr3he hote the, jinheM A~khoM se ThIka se dikhAI nahIM detA thA to unake rUma meM do-cAra pille DAla dete the| phira ve vRddha cillAte the, parezAna ho jAte the| cha:-sAta sAla ke bacce kitanI zarArata karate haiM! vaha to, jaba khuda bar3e hote haiM taba unakI parezAnI samajha meM AtI hai| khuda kI buddhi z2yAdA ho to usakA upayoga kisameM hotA hai? kama buddhi vAle kA maz2Aka ur3Ane meM kiyA na! yaha jokhima samajha meM Ane ke bAda unhoMne maz2Aka ur3AnA baMda kara diyaa| aMtarAyI huI buddhi thI isIlie kuTuMba ke sabhI bhatIje 'saliyAkhora' (bahuta zarArata karane vAlA) kahate the| buddhi para aMtarAya ho aura kisI cIz2a meM maz2A nahIM AtA ho, taba isa taraha kI zarArata karate haiN| khuda yahA~ para baiThA ho aura vahA~ para paTAkhA phUTe to saba ko maz2A A jAtA hai| gadhe ke pIche usakI pU~cha meM DibbA bA~dha dete the| usake bAda 31

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gadhA pUrI rAta uchala kUda karatA thA aura AsapAsa vAle logoM kI nIMda bigar3a jAtI thI / buddhi kA aisA - aisA durupayoga kiyA hai| usake lie khUba pachatAvA aura pratikramaNa bhI kie haiN| paMdraha sAla kI umra meM bIr3I pIne kI Adata par3a gaI thI, sigareTa pIne kii| aMta meM jalatI huI sigareTa pheMkane kI Adata thI / eka bAra to kisI zAdI meM yoM sira para se sigareTa uchAlakara pheMkI to vahA~ jo maMDapa bA~dhA huA thA, usameM nIce kar3hAI meM kucha talA jA rahA thaa| Upara se maMDapa jala gayA aura bahuta bar3A dhamAkA huaa| phira aisA karanA chor3a diyaa| lekina usa bAta kA bhI bahuta pazcAtApa huA ki 'hamArI vajaha se aisA kaisA ho gayA ?' dAdAzrI ne khuda ke jIvana kI kahAnI batAte hue khuda kI sabhI bhUleM batA dI haiN| jaba unheM khuda kI galatI samajha meM AIM taba unhoMne apanI una saba galatiyoM kA z2abaradasta pachatAvA aura pratikramaNa kie| lekina itanA hI nahIM satsaMga meM saba logoM ke sAmane jaba aisI koI bAta nikalatI to jyoM kA tyoM batA dete the / gyAraha sAla kI umra meM kisI kI bArAta meM naDiyAda gae the I to vahA~ tInapattI khelate hue Thage gae aura paMdraha rupae hAra ge| jahA~ maz2e karane kI jagaha hotI, vahA~ Thage jAte the aura usa anubhava para se phira se vaha bhUla nahIM karate the / Thage jAne ke bAda pUrI jiMdagI ke lie praNa kara liyA ki aisA kAma phira kabhI nahIM karU~gA / 'bacapana meM gyAraha sAla kI umra meM eka mitra ke ghara para jaba usake mAtA-pitA nahIM hote the, taba vaha ghara kI dUsarI maMjila se Ama nIce pheMkatA thA aura hama Ama pakar3a lete the / phira hama saba bagIce meM jAkara khAte the| kisI ke per3a ke Ama tor3akara khAte the, aisI coriyA~ kI thiiN| usake lie phira kitane hI pachatAve karake use sApha kiyA / ' bacapana meM teraha sAla kI umra meM eka sone kI a~gUThI corI kI thii| arahara ke paudhe ke karAThiyoM ke gaTThara kisI se kharIde the| phAdara ne hameM bhejA ki ginakara gaTThara le lenA / to usa hATa meM naukara 32

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ko gaTTara ginane ke lie le gae the| gaTTara nikAlane vAle kI u~galI meM se usakI aMgUThI khisaka gaI aura nIce gira gaI yA kucha bhI huA ho| aMbAlAla ne vaha nIce girI huI a~gUThI dekhI aura usa para paira rakhakara naukara ko dUsare kAma meM lagA diyA aura phira vaha aMgUThI uThAkara jeba meM rakha lii| ___ yaha bAta unhoMne khuda btaaii| taba usa samaya kyA huA thA, aisA kyoM huA, aura usa samaya unake aMta:karaNa meM kaisI uthala-puthala huI, vaha bhI batAyA hai| una dinoM jo jJAna thA usa jJAna ne mujhe aisA batAyA ki hameM to yaha aMgUThI milI hai isalie ise corI nahIM khte| iMsAna ko jisa samaya jo bhI jJAna bharA huA ho, vahI aMdara se prakaTa hotA hai, aMdara se use jo bhI dikhAtA hai usI anusAra vaha khuda calatA hai, kArya kara detA hai| usake bAda unhoMne khuda peTalAda jAkara usa aMgUThI ko becakara caudaha rupae pAe aura ve rupae dostoM ke sAtha mauja-maz2e karane meM kharca kara die| usake bAda to apanI isa bhUla para unheM bahuta pachatAvA huA thaa| ve a~gUThI ke mAlika ko DhU~Dhane ge| patA lagAyA to usa vyakti kI to mRtyu ho cukI thii| taba unheM aisA bhAva huA ki isa aMgUThI ke dasa-bIsa gunA paise unheM de deN| vaha vyakti sau yA pA~ca sau gunA mA~ge phira bhI dene ko taiyAra the| usake bAda se taya kiyA ki itane hI paise kahIM para dAna meM de deNge| phira usa vyakti ke lie prArthanA kI 'jo kucha bhI unakA hai, vaha hamArI tarapha se unheM mila jaae'| phira bAda meM vaha kesa kudarata ko sauMpa diyaa| dila kI bhAvanA thI ki kisI kA bhI udhAra bAkI nahIM rahe, aneka gunA karake use vApasa de deN| jitanI-jitanI bhUleM kIM, samajha Ate hI una bhUloM meM se nikala ge| jIvana meM vaisI bhUleM phira kabhI bhI ripITa nahIM hone diiN| jIvana meM eka cIz2a jisameM ve pUrI taraha se zuddha rahe the, vaha thA viSaya vikArI sNbNdh| kula ke abhimAna kI vajaha se yaha eka saMbhala gyaa| kahIM bhI sthUla viSaya-vikArI saMbaMdha nahIM hue| bahuta 33

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kama mAnasika vikArI doSa hue the| jisa prakAra dAg2a vAlA kapar3A sAbuna se dhone se sApha ho sakatA hai, usI prakAra mAnasika doSa dho dene para sApha ho gae the| [5] madara [5.1] saMskArI mAtA khuda ke parivAra ke bAre meM batAte hue dAdAjI kahate haiM ki hamArI madara jhavera bA bahuta suMdara, phAdara bahuta suMdara aura bar3e bhAI bhI bahuta suMdara the| bA to devI jaisI thiiN| bahuta ucca saMskAra the, prernnaadaayk| jhavera bA ke phAdara-madara bhI rAjasI parivAra se the, ucca, zuddha mAla vAle, unake ghara meM hamezA sadAvrata calatA thaa| unake ghara se koI bhI bhUkhA vApasa nahIM jAtA thaa| sAdhu-sanyAsI jo bhI Ate, unheM apane yahA~ ThaharAte the, khAnA khilAte the, unakI sevA karate the| aise parivAra meM bahuta ucca prakAra ke logoM kA janma hotA hai| tabhI to vahA~ para jhavera bA kA janma huaa| (dAdA kA janma bhI nanihAla meM huA thaa|) madara ke guNa bhI uttama the| oblAijiMga necara, jaba muhalle meM nikalatI thIM to hara eka ghara vAle unheM 'jaya zrIkRSNa' karane ke lie bAhara Ate the| kabhI bhI aisA nahIM huA ki bA ne kisI ko parezAna kiyA ho| koI apamAna kara jAe aura agara vahI vyakti vApasa Ae to unheM bA utane hI prema se bulAtI thIM itanI karuNA vAlI, samatA vAlI aura khAnadAnI thIM! itane prema vAle thIM ki logoM ko bhAva se khAnA khilAtI thiiN| koI dahI lene Ae to malAI vAlA dahI dete thiiN| bA kA svabhAva dhIraja vAlA va himmata vAlA thaa| eka bAra jaba mUlajI bhAI rAta ko bAhara so gae the taba bahuta bar3A sA~pa unake zarIra para se hokara niklaa| bA ne dekhA lekina dhIraja rakhA aura sA~pa ke zarIra para se nikala jAne ke bAda hI pitA jI ko utthaayaa| bA meM itanA dhIraja thA! 34

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donoM hI bahuoM ko bA ke acche saMskAra mile the, divAlI bA ko aura hIrA bA ko| [5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgrata mAtA ke mAdhyama se bacapana meM aMbAlAla jI ne eka bacce ko patthara mArA thaa| use khUna nikala gayA thaa| jhavera bA ko patA calA to bA ne kahA, 'yaha kyA kiyA tUne, usa becAre ko to khUna nikala gyaa| usakI to mA~ bhI nahIM hai, vaha apanI cAcI ke ghara rahatA hai, usakI malhama paTTI kauna karegA? vaha becArA kitanA ro rahA hogA? tuma mAra khAkara AnA kisI ko mArakara mata aanaa| tU usase patthara lagane denA, maiM terA ilAja kara duuNgii'| taba se unhoMne aisI zarArata baMda kara dii| bacapana se hI madara acche saMskAra detI thIM, acchA sikhAtI thiiN| bolo! to vaha mA~ mahAvIra banAegI yA nahIM? mUla rUpa se khuda saMskAra kA bIja lekara Ae the lekina aisI madara, aise saMyogoM se ve saMskAra prakaTa hue the| ahiMsA ke aise hI pATha madara ne sikhAe the| aMbAlAla jI ne madara se pUchA ki khaTamala kATa rahe haiM? to madara ne kahA, 'kATa to rahe haiM lekina mujhe koI parezAnI nahIM hai kyoMki ve khAnA khAkara cale jAte haiM, koI Tiphina bharakara nahIM le jaate'| to yaha bAta unheM acchI lgii| tabhI se unakI khaTamala ke prati cir3ha, khaTamala rAta ko kATate the to bAhara rakha Ate the vaha saba chUTa gyaa| usake bAda se khaTamala ko kATane dete the| gale meM kATate to sahana nahIM hotA thA to vahA~ se uThAkara khuda ke pairoM para rakha dete the| paccIsa-chabbIsa sAla kI umra meM eka aisI ghaTanA huI ki dopahara ko madara aura hIrA bA aura ve khuda khAnA khA rahe the tabhI ghara para mehamAna A ge| taba mA~ jI ke mu~ha se nikala gayA ki 'ye abhI kahA~ se Ae?' taba unheM aisA lagA ki mA~ jI kA mana bigar3a rahA hai| usake bAda to mehamAnoM ko khAnA khilaayaa| usake bAda madara 35

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aura patnI se kaha diyA ki, 'yadi phira se aisA hogA to maiM gRha tyAga kara luuNgaa| unase aisA praNa karavAyA ki koI bhI vyakti rAta ko tIna baje bhI Ae to bhI use khAne kA pUchanA hai, z2arA sA bhI mana nahIM bigar3anA cAhie', usake bAda se ghara meM kabhI eka dUsare ke prati bhAva nahIM bigdd'aa| jo kucha bhI ho, prema se vahI khAne ke lie rakha do lekina bhAva nahI bigAr3anA hai| bA choTI-choTI bAtoM meM bhI aMbAlAla bhAI se pUchate the| jaba bA assI sAla kI huIM taba aMbAlAla bhAI cavAlIsa sAla ke the taba bhI unase pUchatI thiiN| ve kahatI thIM ki, 'strI ko manacAhA nahIM karanA caahie| ghara meM choTA beTA ho taba bhI vaha ghara kA mAlika kahalAtA hai, use pUchanA par3atA hai'| unakA AphrikA jAne kA saMyoga AyA lekina bA ko aMbAlAla ke prati atyaMta prema thA isalie nahIM jAne diyaa| aura madara ko bhI aisA thA ki paradesa nahIM bhejanA hai| unheM apanA manacAhA mila gyaa| agara vahA~ gae hote to paise kamAte lekina phira logoM kI gulAmI karanI pdd'tii| vaha nahIM pusAegA! yahA~ para rahakara to Akhira meM bhagavAna ko DhU~Dha nikAlane kI icchA thI, to aMta meM unakA yaha dhyeya siddha ho gayA! bar3audA meM phrenDa ke yahA~ jAte the to ve khAnA khAne baiThA dete the| koI jAna-pahacAna vAle milate to ve bhI khIMcakara apane yahA~ khAnA khAne ke lie le jAte, vahA~ bhI thor3A khA lete| phira vApasa ghara Akara madara ke sAtha khAnA hI par3atA thaa| agara madara ke sAtha nahIM khAte to madara ko duHkha hotA, isalie eka hI samaya para tIna-tIna bAra khAnA khaayaa| sabhI ke mana kA samAdhAna karane ke lie khuda ne isa taraha se eDajasTamenTa lie| jaba madara kI umra chihattara sAla thI taba bA ke AkhirI ATha sAloM meM ve unake pAsa hI rhe| madara ko unake prati bahuta hI aTaicamenTa thA, merA "aMbAlAla"... karatI rahatI thiiN| unakI madara unase kahatI thIM ki 'merI jiMdagI meM to maiM sirpha tujhe hI mAnatI hU~ ki agara darzana 36

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karane yogya hai to sirpha tu hI hai| tU hI bhagavAna hai'| bA aisA mAnatI thIM lekina bAkI logoM ko yaha kaise samajha meM AtA? ___aMtima dinoM meM ve bA se bhakti karavAte the, sahajAtma svarUpa kA maMtra bulavAte the| taba aisA huA ki eka bAra rAta ko bAraha-eka baje bA maMtra bola rahI hoMgI ki aMbAlAla bhAI jAga ge| unhoMne sunA ki 'he bhagavAna, aba tU mujhe uThA le| aba chUTa jAU~ to acchA hai'| taba ve samajha gae ki bA ne aba hastAkSara kara die haiN| zarIra meM jaba pIr3A hotI hai taba vaha sahana nahIM hotI isalie aise hastAkSara kara dete haiN| ataH aba dasa paMdraha dinoM meM ye jAne vAle haiN| hastAkSara karane ke bAda hI mRtyu AtI hai| ataH niyamarAja haiM, isa jagat meM yamarAja nahIM hai! _[6] phAdara unake pitAzrI rAjasI svabhAva vAle the| unakI khuda kI z2amIna para ghor3e rakhate the aura sAphA pahanate the| khetIbAr3I kI AmadanI se jIvana calatA thaa| yoM Iz2I lAipha rakhI thii| aMbAlAla kA janma huA usa samaya janma kuMDalI banavAI thI taba jyotiSI ne unake phAdara aura madara se aisA kahA thA ki 'ApakA yaha putra g2az2aba kA puruSa bnegaa| isakI kuMDalI bahuta hI ucca hai'| tabhI se phAdara ke mana meM putra aMbAlAla ke lie eka bahuta bar3I jagaha bana gaI thii| phAdara ne apane kheta meM Ama boe the| ve aMbAlAla se kahate the ki hameM subaha kasarata karanI cAhie, ghUmane jAnA cAhie aura sAtha hI aisA bhI kahate the ki 'apane kheta meM Ama ugAe haiM, usa rAste se thailI meM miTTI le jAkara vahA~ jAkara Ama ke per3a meM DAla aanaa'| aMbAlAla ne to bAta-bAta meM aisA kaha diyA ki 'mujhe Ama khAne kA lAlaca nahIM hai| jise Ama khAne hoM vaha miTTI ddaale'| kucha samaya bAda jaba vaha kheta becA taba Ama ke per3a bhI bika ge| taba unhoMne phAdara se kahA ki Ama ke per3a ke sAtha Ama bhI 37

Page #39
bika gae na! DAlI gaI miTTI vagairaha saba bekAra gayA na! usase phAdara ne aisA mAnA ki 'ise patA hogA ki aisA honA hai'| ___phAdara bar3e bhAI se kahate the ki, 'ise DA~TanA mata, isakI kuMDalI bahuta ucca prakAra kI hai'| jaba ve sAta sAla ke the taba unheM sabakucha jAnane aura samajhane kI bahuta utsukatA thii| ve phAdara se saba pUchate rahate the| kAna meM koI bAta par3atI to pUchate rahate the ki isakA kyA? isakA kyA? lekina phAdara ke mana meM unake prati bahuta ucca bhAva thA ki yaha mahAna puruSa banane vAlA hai isalie saba calA lete the, cir3hate nahIM the| ___phAdara ke sAtha huI apanI bhUla ko dAdAzrI batA dete the| jyotiSI ne phAdara se kahA thA ki Apake ghara meM bahuta bar3A ratna paidA huA hai, to isake saMskAra meM kamI nahIM Ane denaa| jaba bhI bhAdaraNa gA~va meM nATaka kaMpanI AtI to aMbAlAla ko nATaka dekhane jAnA hotA thA to vaha phAdara se chupakara jAte the| bA ko sahI bAta batA dete the| saba ke so jAne ke bAda chupakara nATaka dekha Ate the| phAdara se chupAkara aise gunAha kie the| bAda meM ina sabhI bAtoM ke pratikramaNa kara lie| jaba unakI umra bIsa sAla kI thI taba phAdara kA dehAMta huaa| usa samaya ve phAdara ke pAsa hI the| bar3e bhAI bar3audA se Akara milakara eka dina pahale hI nikala ge| jisake kaMdhe para car3hakara jAnA likhA ho, usI ke kaMdhe para car3hakara jAte haiN| isa taraha phAdara ke sAtha kA RNAnubaMdha cukaayaa| phAdara kI itanI hI sevA huI aura madara kI sevA unake jIvana ke aMtima ATha sAloM meM sAtha rahakara huI thii| [7] bar3e bhAI unake bar3e bhAI bahuta prabhAvazAlI the| bahuta hI darzanIya rAjavaMzI puruSa lagate the! kapar3oM ke zaukIna the, kapar3avaMja ke pAsa unakI do sau bIghA jamIna thI, vahA~ para ghor3I rakhate the| sAphA pahanakara ghor3I para baiThakara ghUmate the! usa samaya ve rAjaku~vara jaise lagate the! unakI 38

Page #40
A~kheM bahata pratApI thIM, paccIsa-pacAsa loga to unheM dekhakara idhara-udhara ho jAte the| eka prakAra kA li thA, yoM yogIpana kahA jA sakatA thA, aise prabhAvazAlI the ve| teraha sAla ke aMbAlAla ghor3I para baiThane gae to ghor3I ne unheM girA diyaa| jaba unhoMne bhAI ko batAyA, ki 'ghor3I ne mujhe girA diyaa| taba bhAI ne kahA ki 'itanI kImatI ghor3I to kyA vaha tujhe yoM hI girA degI? tujhe baiThanA nahIM AyA hogaa| isa bAta para se ve soca meM par3a gae, 'bAta bhI sahI hai ki mujhe baiThanA nahIM AyA! galatI merI hI hai'| ve saralatA se apanI bhUla svIkAra kara lete the aura vaha sIkha pUrI jiMdagI unakI jAgRti meM rahatI thii| bar3e bhAI bahuta hI kar3aka svabhAva vAle the| eka bAra ghara para jaba mehamAna Ae aura bhAbhI ko cAya banAne ko khaa| to saMyogavaza sTova nahIM jalA aura cAya banAne meM derI ho gii| bar3e bhAI cir3ha ge| phira to gusse meM Akara unhoMne jalatA huA sTova pheMka diyA aura kapa-pleTa phor3a die| muhalle meM jainoM aura paTeloM ke ghara para jaba zAdI-byAha hote the to ve bar3e bhAI ko khAnA khAne bulAte the| bar3e bhAI kA niyama thA ki khule sira saba ke sAtha meM khAnA khAne nahIM baiThate the| unheM khAsa taura para ghara ke aMdara baiThAyA jAe tabhI ve khAnA khAne jAte the| sAtha-sAtha aMbAlAla jI ko bhI baiThAte the| bar3e bhAI ke sAtha unakA bhI rauba jama jAtA thaa| loga unase kaha jAte the ki, 'donoM bhAIyoM ke bacce kyoM nahIM haiM ?' loga aisA kahate the ki pUrva janma ke unake RNAnubaMdha ke hisAba aise hoM, tabhI aisA hotA hai| isa prakAra, bar3e bhAI garama dimAg2a vAle the phira bhI dila ke bhole the, dayAlu svabhAva vAle, rAjasI mana vaale| yadi koI duHkhI hotA to ve usakI saba prakAra se helpa karate the| unheM gulAmI aura paravazatA to bilkula bhI pasaMda nahIM thii|

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bar3e bhAI kA aMbAlAla ke prati bahuta prema thA / Amane sAmane prakRti mela nahIM khAtI thI, donoM ke vyU poinTa alaga-alaga the| sirpha ahaMkAra kI lAina meM donoM bhAI eka sarIkhe the, kSatriyapana / yadi koI tAkatavara AdamI kamaz2ora ko mAratA thA to ve kamaz2ora vyakti ke pakSa meM rahakara, tAkatavara kA sAmanA karate the ! bhAbhI kI sohabata meM bar3e bhAI, rAjA jaise iMsAna, unhoMne jo kabhI bhI nahIM kiyA thA, vaisA karane lge| kisI ko kucha lakar3e kI z2arUrata hogI, unheM ve lakar3e dilavAne ke lie bar3e bhAI ne kamIzana rakhA, sau-Der3ha sau rupae / aMbAlAla ne bar3e bhAI ko isa bAta ke lie pakar3A ki 'Apane kamIzana khAyA ? Apa aisA karate ho ? jinakI AkheM dekhakara sau loga idhara udhara ho jAte, aise puruSa aisA kamIzana khAnA sIkha gae?' unhoMne jaba unakI bhUla batAI taba bhAbhI ne unakA bacAva kiyA, ki, 'agara hameM parezAnI ho aura kisI kA kAma kara deM to usase sau-Der3ha sau rupae mileM to usameM kyA burA hai? taba aMbAlAla ne kahA ki 'hama zera ke bacce haiM, zera ne kisI bhI janma meM ghAsa nahIM khAI hai'| bAkI, yoM to khAnadAnI iMsAna the lekina vAipha ke davAba meM Akara yaha bhUla kara baiThe ! phira bar3e bhAI ne kahA, ki 'yaha kamIzana nahIM rakhanA hai| aba tU yaha badala de, vApasa de aa'| usa z2amAne meM paTeloM meM dArU pIne kI Adata thI, to bar3e bhAI meM vaha burI Adata ghusa gaI / kAma dhaMdhe meM khuda bar3e bhAI ke sAtha rahe, usameM bar3e bhAI kI isa burI Adata kI vajaha se takalIpha hone lagI, aura udhAra car3hane lagA / isa burI Adata ke ghusane se logoM meM bar3e bhAI kI vailyU kama hone lgii| prabhAvazAlI vyakti agara pIne lage to usakI iz2z2ata khatma ho jAtI hai ! bar3e bhAI sTroMga mana ke the, kisI kI nahIM sunate the| aMta meM unhoMne apane Apa hI zarAba chor3a dI / usake do sAla bAda yaha kahakara ki mujhe zarIra meM se zarAba ke paramANu sApha karane haiM, unhoMne pApa dhone 40

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ke lie ikattIsa dina ke upavAsa kie the lekina upavAsa chor3anA nahIM aayaa| bhUla meM upavAsa chor3ate samaya chAcha pilA dI, usase vikAra ho gayA aura phira tabiyata bigar3ane se unakI mRtyu ho gii| bar3e bhAI mRtyu ke caubIsa ghaMTe pahale aisA hI kaha rahe the ki 'maiM pUrva janma kA yogI huuN| kauna se pApoM kI vajaha se maiM yahA~ para aayaa'| aura ve khuda yogI hI the| dAdAzrI kahate the ki 'hamane bahuta loga dekhe haiN| maiM hara eka meM yaha mArka karatA thA ki isakI vizeSatA kyA hai'| ata: bar3e bhAI kI bhI sTaDI kI thI ki ye haiM to vAstava meM yogI puruSa hI aura yogI yAnI kaise ki jo cAhe vaisA kara sakate the itane sTroMga mAinDa vAle the! yadi ve taya kareM ki mujhe chaH mahIne sirpha dUdha para hI rahanA hai to ve aisA kara sakate the! [8] bhAbhI [8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba dAdAzrI kI bhAbhI divAlI bA, unake bar3e bhAI maNi bhAI kI dUsarI patnI thiiN| yoM darzanIya, prabhAvazAlI, aura raubadAra thiiN| bar3audA kI jogIdAsa viTThala pola meM rahatI thiiN| bar3e bhAI kI vajaha se muhalle meM unakA bhI rauba thaa| bar3e bhAI rAjA jaise the aura bhAbhI ko loga aisA kahate the ki, 'mahArAnI jaisI haiN'| zAdI ke bIsa sAla bAda ve vidhavA ho gaIM thiiN| bar3e bhAI khAnA khAne baiThate taba bhAbhI mIThA-mIThA bolatI thIM ki 'Apake binA maiM jI nahIM pAU~gI, maiM raha nahIM skuuNgii'| to bar3e bhAI ise sahI mAna lete the aura mana meM aisA mAnate the ki aisI vAipha mujhe phira nahIM milegii| isa taraha dhIre-dhIre bhAbhI ne bhAI para apanA kabjA jamA liyaa| aMbAlAla yaha dekhate the aura ve samajha gae ki ye bhAbhI bhAI ke sAtha strI caritra khela rahI haiN| zera jaise bar3e bhAI aura unheM bakarI jaisA banA diyA thaa| 41

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unheM koI kAma karavAnA hotA thA to bar3e bhAI para bahuta dabAva DAlatI thIM, DarAtI thIM ki 'mujhe surasAgara meM DUbanA par3egA, Apake bhAI kI vajaha se'| taba bar3e bhAI ghabarA jAte the| kyoMki unakI pahalI patnI kI mRtyu kA Aropa bhI bar3e bhAI para lagA thaa| dUsarI patnI ke sAtha bhI yadi aisA kucha ho jAe to? to ve Dara ke mAre daba gae the| aMta meM bhAI ko patA cala gayA thA ki yaha strI aMdara hI aMdara paiMtare raca rahI hai| dUsarI patnI thIM isalie bar3e bhAI unheM khuza rakhane ke lie unase vyApAra kI bAteM karate the, ki 'isa sAla kAma aisA cala rahA hai, itanI kamAI huii| to dhIre-dhIre bhAbhI ne kAma meM hAtha DAla diyA aura phira hisAba pUchanA zurU kara diyaa| 'abhI kyA cala rahA hai? kitanI kamAI hai?' bar3e bhAI se aisA saba pUchatI thIM aura ve aMbAlAla bhAI se bhI pUchatI thIM lekina unakA ahaMkAra z2arA bhArI thA to unhoMne bhAbhI se kaha diyA ki 'maiM hisAba nahIM duuNgaa| Apako biz2anesa meM bilkula bhI hAtha nahIM DAlanA hai| merI svataMtratA meM dakhalaMdAjI nahIM clegii| maiM yahA~ kisI kA naukara nahIM hU~, maiM to mAlika huuN| ___ isa taraha devara bhAbhI ke bIca meM TakarAva calatA rahatA thaa| khAne meM bhI kica-kica ho jAtI thii| jaba khAne meM veDhamI hotI taba aMbAlAla ko usameM bahuta sArA ghI cAhie thaa| jabaki bhAbhI thor3AthoDA detI thIM taba unheM vaha ThIka nahIM lagatA thA aura ve cir3ha jAte the| bar3e bhAI ko acchA-acchA parosatI thIM aura aMbAlAla bhAI ko kama detI thiiN| phira bar3e bhAI kahate the ki 'aisA kyoM karatI ho?' to bhAbhI kahatI thIM ki 'unheM jitanA cAhie utanA le leN'| lekina aMbAlAla ko aisA vyavahAra ThIka nahIM lagatA thA, cir3ha macatI thI to bhAbhI ke sAtha khAne kI bAta ko lekara jhaMjhaTa hotI rahatI thii| eka bAra bhAbhI ke sAtha z2arA bola-cAla ho gaI taba bar3e bhAI hAz2ira nahIM the to aMbAlAla ke mana meM burA lgaa| 'aisA kyoM kara rahI haiM ye? bhAbhI ke vaza meM kyoM raheM? isakI bajAya svataMtra raheM to z2yAdA acchA hai| aba isameM se chUTa jAnA hai'| ____42

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usake bAda ghara chor3akara ve ahamadAbAda cale gae, mitra ke vhaaN| aisA socA thA ki 'vahA~ jAkara svataMtra kAma kruuNgaa'| lekina bhAI kA prema thA isalie bar3e bhAI unheM vApasa bulAkara le aae| isa ghaTanA para se bar3e bhAI samajha gae ki isa strI kI prakRti bahuta bhArI hai| ghara chor3akara ahamadAbAda jAne kI pUrI ghaTanA kA yahA~ para varNana huA hai| unheM paiMso se saMbaMdhita jo vicAra AyA isalie, usameM pyoriTI meM rahakara ghara se nikle| mitra ke milane para paise mA~gane par3e phira bhI z2arUrata se z2yAdA paise nahIM lie| ghara se nikala ge| 'bhAI mujhe DhU~DheMge' aisA socakara ciTThI likhakara bar3e bhAI ko sUcanA dii| ahamadAbAda meM jisake vahA~ jAnA thA, usa vyakti kA eDresa bhI mAlUma nahIM thA, to apanI sUjha se ghara kA eDresa DhU~Dhakara ve vahA~ pahu~ca ge| vyApAra meM bhI, nae vyakti ke sAtha bhAgIdArI karane kI paravazatA bhI na rahe isa prakAra se unhoMne unake sAtha kAma karanA taya kiyaa| isa prakAra kadama-kadama para unakI vyavahArikatA kA patA calatA hai| socakara maMthana karake aura kisI ko ar3acana na par3e aisI jAgRti bhI thii| phira vApasa jaba bar3e bhAI bulAne Ae taba bhAI kA vinaya rakhakara bhAI ke eka hI zabda para vApasa cale ge| isa prakAra isa ghaTanA para se unakI sUjha ke sAtha-sAtha Adarza vyavahAra kA bhI patA calatA hai| isa ghaTanA kA varNana A~khoM dekhe hAla kI taraha batA sake! bar3e bhAI ke dehAMta ke bAda meM loga AzvAsana dene Ate the, to jo koI bhI AtA thA, vaha bhAbhI ko rulAtA thaa| taba aMbAlAla bhAI samajha gae ki loga inheM parezAna kreNge| usake bAda jhabera bA se kaha diyA ki Apa logoM se kaha do ki bahU ke sAtha bhAI ke bAre meM koI bhI bAtacIta nahIM karanI hai| isa taraha logoM ke zabdoM se unhoMne bhAbhI kA bacAva kiyaa| bhAbhI kA svabhAva bahuta sakhta thaa| agara unakI manamAnI nahIM hotI thI to ve trAgA bhI karatI thiiN| trAgA yAnI sAmane vAle ko DarAkara mArakara apanI manamAnI krvaanaa| lekina aMbAlAla unake trAge 43

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para dhyAna nahIM dete the| aMta meM bhAbhI ne kahA ki 'inake jaisA puruSa maiMne nahIM dekhA hai| maiM kisI bhI puruSa kI nahIM sunatI hU~, sirpha inakI bAta sunI hai| inase maiM nahIM jIta skii'| aMbAlAla bhAI kahate the ki 'ApakI to kyA maiM kisI kI bhI nahIM sunatA huuN| strI caritra kA pUrA pATha maiM Apase sIkhA huuN| aba maiM striyoM dvArA chalA nahIM jA sktaa'| [8.2 ] bhAbhI ko upakArI mAnA maNi bhAI, jhabera bA aura hIrA bA kI tarapha se aMbAlAla ko duHkha nahIM mile the lekina bhAbhI kI tarapha se parezAnI huI thii| lekina ve khuda bhAbhI ko hamezA upakArI mAnate the| bhAbhI kI tarapha se apamAna Ate rahate the, to vaha unheM bahuta hI duSkara lagatA thaa| ve kahate the ki, 'ye jo dasa sAla bIte haiM, usameM bhAbhI ne duHkha dene meM kucha bhI bAkI nahIM rkhaa'| phira bhI aMdara samajha thI ki, 'yaha hisAba merA hI hai| isakI noMdha karane jaisA nahIM hai| jisa taraha narasiMha mehatA ko unakI bhAbhI ne dharma meM madada kI thI usI taraha merI bhAbhI mujhe saMsAra meM vairAgya lAne ke lie hitakArI nimitta bniiN'| ve khuda bhI bhAbhI se kahate the ki, 'narasiMha mehatA ko bhAbhI milIM to ve bhagata bana gae aura Apa mujhe milIM to maiM bhagavAna bana jaauuNgaa| mujhe mokSa meM jAne kA rAstA mila gyaa'| hAMlAki aisA hI honA thA, lekina nimitta ve bana giiN| bhAbhI ke pratApa se khuda mokSa mArga kI tarapha mur3a ge| bhAbhI ati upakArI bana giiN| bacapana se hI unakA adhyAtma kI tarapha jhukAva thA lekina bhAbhI kA kisameM thA? absTrakzana (virodha) thA isalie vaha jyAdA hitakArI ho gyaa| [8.3] bhAbhI ke sAtha lakSmI kA vyavahAra aMbAlAla bhAI kA bhAbhI ke sAtha gAr3ha hisAba thaa| unheM itanA lobha thA ki unheM cAhe kitanA bhI deM phira bhI ve khuza nahIM hotI 44

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thIM, unheM saMtoSa nahIM hotA thaa| sabakucha dekara bhAbhI kA kesa saoNlva kiyaa| unheM paise die, ghara diyaa| aisA kara diyA ki bhAbhI kA koI klema bAkI na rhe| unakI jAti ke loga bhI kahate the ki, 'kama umra meM bhAbhI vidhavA ho gaIM phira bhI devara ne unheM isa taraha saMbhAlA, aisA to kabhI huA hI nahIM hai| aMbAlAla bhAI ne bhAbhI ko du:kha nahIM hone diyaa'| _[8.4] bhAbhI ke ucca prAkRtika guNa aMbAlAla bhAI kI khoja aisI thI ki, 'aisA strI caritra, lobha, vagairaha hai to itanI nobala ghara meM kisa taraha se AIM ?' usake bAda ve samajha gae ki 'yadi eka hI guNa milatA-julatA thA to vaha thA, unakA caritra bahuta hAi klAsa thaa| ucca caritra thA, satI jaisI thiiN| koI una para dRSTi bigAr3e to usakI A banatI thI, usake hAtha-paira tor3a deM, aisI kSatrANI thiiN| unhoMne kabhI bhI para-puruSa kI tarapha dRSTi nahIM kI thii| isa bAta ko lekara unake prati rAga thA bAkI saba bAtoM meM kar3avI z2ahara jaisI lagatI thiiN| caritra ucca thA isalie vaha bahuta acchA guNa thaa| pacAsa sAla vidhavA kI sthiti meM bitaae| (dAdAzrI kI upasthiti meM jaba divAlI bA 80 sAla kI thIM taba dAdAzrI ne apanI bhAbhI ke bAre meM aisA kahA thA ki ve pacAsa sAla se vidhavA kI sthiti meM haiM) phira bhI unake caritra ke bAre meM koI zikAyata nahIM aaii| yoM yoginI jaisI thIM, pavitra strI! aisA uttama guNa thA isalie unakI tarapha hamezA pUjyatA rhii| __ bhAbhI bhI kahatI thIM ki unake devara lakSmaNa jaise haiN| jisa taraha lakSmaNa jI ne sItA ko rakhA thA, usI taraha inhoMne mujhe rakhA hai! divAlI bA tIsa sAla kI umra meM vidhavA ho gaI thIM, usake bAda svAmInArAyaNa dharma kI ora mur3a giiN| usa dharma ne unakI rakSA kii| unhoMne dharma meM aisI pratijJA kI thI ki, 'kisI bhI strI-puruSa ko chUnA nahIM hai| ve striyoM ko upadeza detI thIM, zAstroM ke bAre meM samajhAtI thiiN| pUrI jiMdagI sahajAnaMda svAmI kI bhakti kI aura satsaMgI kI taraha rhiiN| 45

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phira to aMtima paMdraha-bIsa sAla to bhAbhI dAdAzrI ke paira chUtI thIM, AratI bhI utAratI thiiN| isa prakAra rAga-dveSa ke hisAba khatma hote ge| [9] parivAra, kuTuMba aura bhatIje yahA~ para dAdAzrI parivAra ke vyaktiyoM kI prakRti kI bAta batAte haiM, sAtha - sAtha eka-dUsare ke prati prema bhI dikhAI detA hai| parivAra ke sAtha blaDa rilezana ( khUna kA saMbaMdha) mAnA jAtA hai lekina agara jJAna kI, jJAnI kI pahacAna ho jAe to kalyANa ho jaae| bAkI jaba blaDa rilezana ho taba taka rAga-dveSa rahate hI haiM / paTela prakRti thI isalie pA~ca minaTa meM lar3a par3ate the aura kucha hI dera bAda vApasa sAtha meM khAnA khAne baiTha jAte the| kapaTa nahIM thA isalie mana alaga nahIM hote the| sirpha sabhI ke ahaMkAra hI bhArI the 1 kuTuMba ke bhatIje umra meM bar3e hote the phira bhI aMbAlAla cAcA kA vinaya rakhate the| eka-dUsare ke mAna kA dhyAna rakhate the| do loga aMdara-aMdara hI lar3ate the lekina yadi tIsarA vyakti A jAe to donoM eka ho jAte the aura tIsare ke sAtha lar3ane lagate the| isa prakAra rAgadveSa vAlA vyavahAra thA / kuTuMba meM spardhA bahuta rahatI thI lekina aMbAlAla bhAI spardhA meM kabhI bhI nahIM pdd'e| loga spardhA meM Age jAne ke lie sAmane vAle kI zakti ko tor3a dete haiM jabaki aMbAlAla bhAI 'saba mujhase Age bar3ho pIche mata raha jAnA' aisI bhAvanA vAle the / 'maiM Apako Age bar3hane meM helpa karU~gA,' aura unhoMne pUrI jiMdagI aisA hI rkhaa| bhatIjoM ke sAtha ke TakarAva meM ve khuda eDajasTamenTa lete the / kisI bhatIje kI gAr3I agara ulTI paTarI para calI jAe to z2arUrata par3ane para use DA~Takara sudhArate bhI the ! kuTuMba yA mitroM meM agara kisI ko eka dUsare ke sAtha aMdara-aMdara takarAra ho jAtI to ve khuda velDiMga kara dete the / velDiMga karane vAlA aMta meM mAra hI khAtA hai, lekina mAra khAkara bhI ve una donoM ko to milavA dete the| 46

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unake kuTuMba ke eka vyakti kI prakRti aisI thI ki vaha unake koTa kI jeba meM se kucha paise corI kara letA thaa| phira bhI unhoMne usa vyakti kI prakRti ko sTaDI kiyA ki yaha 'cora hai' lekina usake lie aisA abhiprAya nahIM diyA ki 'yaha cora hai' kyoMki yadi cora hotA to sabhI paise le jaataa| paise bhUlakara aura aisA prijyuDisa rakhe binA ki 'yaha cora hai' unhoMne usa vyakti ko sudhArA, unake pAsa aisI adbhuta vyavahAra kalAe~ thiiN| ghara ke anya vyakti use jisa dRSTi se dekhate the, usake bajAya ve khuda aisI dRSTi se dekhate the aura usa vyakti meM se kucha na kucha paoNjiTiva cIz2a DhU~Dha nikAlate the| paoNjiTiva ko enkarijamenTa dete, tAki negeTiva apane Apa hI gira jaae| isa prakAra iMsAna kI jiMdagI sudhAra dete the| unheM kuTuMba meM taraha-taraha kI prakRti vAle loga mile| taba khuda vyavahAra ko bodhakalA se solva kara dete the| kisI kI beTI kI zAdI honI ho, kisI beTI se mA~-bApa parezAna ho gae hoM, koI paise kA ghoTAlA kara rahA ho phira bhI aMbAlAla bhAI usakI prakRti kA nirIkSaNa karake usameM se paoNz2iTiva guNa DhU~Dhakara logoM ko sudhAra dete the| 'TakarAva TAlie', yaha sUtra unake eka bhatIje ko sudhArane ke lie sone kI cAbI jaisA sAbita huaa| kacare meM se ratna DhU~Dha nikAlane kI unakI g2az2aba kI dRSTi thii| [10] prakaTa hue guNa bacapana se [10.1] asAmAnya vyaktitva zurU se hI bacapana se hI asAdhAraNa vicAra zreNI thii| teraha sAla kI umra meM unheM asAmAnya vyakti banane kA vicAra AyA thaa| asAmAnya arthAt sAmAnya vyakti ko jo takalIpheM hotI haiM, asAmAnya vyakti ko ve cIjeM takalIpha nahIM lgtiiN| asAmAnya vyakti auroM kI helpa ke lie hI hote haiN| 47

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bacapana se hI unake dila meM jhUTha-kapaTa-corI-luccApana-lobha vagairaha nahIM the| jaisA mana meM thA vaisA hI vANI meM hotA thA aura vartana meM vaisA A jAtA thA, mana-vacana-kAyA kI aisI ekatA vAlI dazA thI! pUrA jIvana unhoMne samajhadArI se jiyA ki kisI ke lie z2arA sA bhI bAdhaka baneMge to khuda ko bAdhakatA aaegii| isalie ve kisI ke lie bhI bAdhaka nahIM hue| isa taraha kI prekTisa rkhii| unake jIvana meM mukhya guNa thA srltaa| dUsaroM kI sahI bAta ho to ve turaMta eksepTa kara lete the| [10.2 ] mamatA nahIM bacapana meM gA~va meM sabhI dostoM ke sAtha kheta meM jAte the| mogarI, mUlI, zakarakaMda kucha bhI tAz2A toDakara khAte the| bhaTTe bhI khAte the| dUsare bacce to bA~dhakara ghara le jAte the lekina ve sAtha meM kucha bhI nahIM le jAte the| saMgraha karane kI Adata hI nahIM thii| lobha nAma kA guNa hI nahIM thA unameM, lAlaca aura mamatA nahIM thii| isa prakAra bacapana se hI ucca prAkRta guNa lekara Ae the| [10.3] oblAijiMga necara unhoMne pUrI jiMdagI auroM kI helpa karane meM hI bitaaii| ghara se koI kAma karane jAnA hotA to ar3osa-par3osa meM pUchakara unake kAma bhI kara Ate the| tAki unheM dUsarA cakkara nahIM lagAnA pdd'e| isa prakAra khuda apanA kAma karate-karate AsapAsa vAloM ke lie bhI helpa phula ho jAte the| unheM khuda ko AnaMda AtA thA aura AsapAsa vAle bhI khuza ho jAte the| ve jaba bhAdaraNa se bar3audA Ate the taba ve logoM dvArA ma~gavAI huI cIjeM kharIdakara le jAte the| apanI jeba ke paise DAlakara aura unheM aisA batAte the ki 'cIz2a sastI milii'| ve khuda isa taraha se helpa karate the ki logoM ko duHkha na ho| 48

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apanI bagiyA meM jo kucha bhI bote the, laukI-bhuTTA aisA kucha bhI hotA thA to vaha logoM ko de dete the| isa prakAra pUrI jiMdagI unakA oblAijiMga necara hI rhaa| [10.4] jahA~ mAra par3atI vahA~ turaMta chor3a dete the jaise bacce rUTha jAte haiM, bacapana meM ve bhI usI taraha eka-do bAra rUTha gae the, madara se lekina rUThane kA pariNAma yaha dekhA ki do nukasAna hue| khAne kA bhI nahIM milA aura kisI ne bhAva bhI nahIM puuchaa| unakA khAnA dUsaroM ke hisse meM calA gyaa| ve khuda bahuta vicakSaNa the isalie hara eka anubhava ko noTa karane ke bAda unheM apanI bhUla samajha meM A jAtI thI ki rUThanA eka bhayaMkara nukasAna hI hai| jiMdagI meM kabhI bhI rUThanA nahIM hai aura phira kabhI aisI bhUla nahIM hone dii| [10.5 ] jAnA jagat polampola aMbAlAla bhAI jagat vyavahAra ko bArIkI se oNbjarva karate the| kisI vyakti kI mRtyu ho jAe to ghara vAle va kuTuMbI ikaTThe hokara cillA-cillAkara rote the aura chAtI pITatI the| unakA hArTilI svabhAva thA, to ve aisA dekhakara bahuta hI duHkhI ho jAte the| phira jaba gaharAI meM utarakara jA~ca kI to patA calA ki ve loga chAtI nahIM pITatI haiM, ve to hAtha para hAtha rakhakara z2ora se AvAz2a karate haiN| sira para ghaTa DAlakara rone kI AvAz2a karate haiN| bAkI yaha to pUrI gar3abar3a nikalI! taba se ve yaha samajha gae ki yaha pUrI duniyA laukika hai, polampola hai| isalie unakA alaukika kI tarapha Age bar3hanA zurU ho gyaa| TemparerI cIz2oM para se moha TUTatA gayA aura aba hara kSaNa saMsAra kA svarUpa bhaya aura duHkhapUrNa dikhane lgaa| sabhI kudaratI cIz2e lona para haiM, muphta nahIM miltiiN| yadi lenA ho to lenA lekina vaha ripe karanA par3egA, bacapana se hI unheM aisA sAra samajha meM A gayA thaa| 49

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[10.6] alaga-alaga prakAra ke bhaya ke sAmane... baccA jaba choTA hotA hai taba use bhUta, sA~pa, bicchU aura luTeroM se bhaya lagatA hai, marane se bhaya lagatA hai| isI taraha bacapana meM aMbAlAla ko bhI bhaya thA lekina unameM yaha vizeSatA thI, ve bhaya kA sAmanA karate the| vAstava meM bhaya hai yA nahIM, kisa kAraNa se bhaya lagatA hai, usako jar3a meM se DhU~Dha nikAlate the| sAtha-sAtha unheM apane Apa para zraddhA thI ki, 'mujhe kucha bhI nahIM ho sakatA!' aMta meM ve DhU~Dha nikAlate the ki yaha saba kalpanAe~ hI haiM eka prakAra kI! kisI jagaha ke lie aisI bAta sunI thI ki mahuA ke per3a para bhUta rahate haiM aura vahA~ bhUta kI jvAlAe~ dekhane ko milatI haiN| jA~ca karane para yaha patA calA ki koI vyakti aMdherI rAta meM bIr3I jalA rahA thA aura kisI jagaha para a~dhere meM kIkara ke per3a kA dU~Tha thA to use bhUta mAna liyaa| khuda kA svabhAva niDara thA isalie satya DhU~Dha nikaalaa| [10.7] yamarAja ke bhaya ke sAmane khoja usa z2amAne meM pUre hindustAna meM aisI mAnyatA thI ki iMsAna jaba marane lagatA hai taba yamarAja usakA jIva lene Ate haiN| taba kuttA rotA hai aura yamarAja bhI A jAte haiM, aba usa jIva ko le jaaeNge| phira yadi usane pApa kie hoMge to yamarAja mArate-mArate le jaaeNge| aisI bAtoM se logoM meM bhaya ghusa jAtA, choTe baccoM ko to ghabarAhaTa ho jAtI! teraha sAla kI umra meM aMbAlAla ko yamarAja ke bhaya se saMbaMdhita soca zurU ho gaI thI ki isameM hakIkata kyA hai? phira to ve jagaha-jagaha jA~ca karate ge| paMDitoM se pUchA, brAhamaNoM se pUchA lekina sahI bAta jAnane ko nahIM milii| khUba jA~ca kI, vicAra karate rhe| aMta meM paccIsaveM sAla meM DhU~Dha nikAlA ki yamarAja nAma kA koI jIva hai hI nahIM, koI deva bhI nahIM hai| yamarAja nahIM hai, paraMtu niyamarAja hai| isa saMsAra ko niyama hI calAtA hai| yaha jagat niyama ke adhIna hI hai| anya koI calAne vAlA nahIM hai| niyama se janma hotA hai, niyama se marate haiM, niyama se rAta hotI hai, niyama 50

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se dina ugatA hai; kudarata kA niyama aisA hI hai! isa prakAra vAstavika jJAna ujAgara karake logoM ko nirbhaya bnaayaa| [10.8] bhagavAna ke bAre meM maulika samajha bacapana se unheM saMsAra baMdhana rUpa lagatA thaa| unheM paravazatA acchI nahIM lagatI thii| ve skUla se chUTa kara sAdhu saMtoM kI sevA karane jAte the| taba eka mahArAja ne unakI sevA se khuza hokara kahA ki 'bhagavAna tumheM mokSa meM le jaaegaa'| taba unakI vicAradhArA zurU ho gaI ki 'bhagavAna agara mujhe mokSa meM le jAe~ge to bhagavAna mere UparI raheMge, taba phira use mokSa nahIM kaha skte| ataH bhagavAna aura mokSa donoM agara eka sAtha haiM to vaha virodhAbhAsa hI hai| bhagavAna mere aMdara hI haiM, mujhe mile nahIM haiN| varnA yadi bhagavAna mokSa deM to use mokSa kaheMge hI nhiiN| mokSa arthAt jisameM koI UparI nahIM ho, koI anDarahainDa bhI nhiiN| khuda ke blaMDarsa aura khuda kI misTeksa hI khuda ke UparI haiN| unheM khatma kara deMge to hama apane aMdara vAle bhagavAna ke sAtha abheda ho skeNge| [10.9] sacce guru kI pahacAna pahale se hI bacapana meM guru se kaMThI baMdhavAI thii| kaMThI TUTa gaI to phira se kaMThI nahIM bNdhvaaii| madara ne kahA ki loga tujhe 'nugaro' kheNge| unhoMne kahA, 'bhale hI kheN'| unakI mAnyatA thI ki, 'guru arthAt jo prakAza deN| jo mujhe pratyakSa jJAna nahIM deM, prakAza nahIM deM, ve guru mere kAma ke nahIM haiN'| ve vaijJAnika vyakti the isalie zAstra meM jo kucha bhI par3hate the, usa bAta ko pUrI taraha se sTaDI karate the aura usakA sAra nikAla lete the| zAstra meM likhI huI bAtoM se Age khuda ke aMdara sUkSma vivaraNa ho jAtA thaa| lokamata, lokasaMjJA se hamezA ulTA hI cle| aMta meM aMdara vAle bhagavAna se pUchakara khuda kI sUjha se Age bddh'e| [10.10 ] jJAnI ke lakSaNa bacapana se hI ATha-nau sAla kI umra meM bhI bahuta sTroMga miz2Aja thA, aura 51

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unheM zarArata karane kI Adata thii| phAdara ke kahane para eka seTha ke yahA~ kisI kAma se kucha pUchane jAnA pdd'aa| umra kama thI isalie unheM khelane jAne kI jaldI thI, aura vaha seTha javAba nahIM de rahe the| ve pille ke sAtha khela rahe the| to ye cir3ha gae aura aMta meM pille kI pU~cha dabA dii| usa pille ne seTha ko kATa khaayaa| usake bAda seTha pille ko mArane lge| to saca meM gunahagAra kauna hai vaha patA nahIM calatA isalie nimitta ko kATate haiN| isa prakAra bacapana se hI kartA va nimitta se saMbaMdhita siddhAMtoM ke bAre meM samajhanA zurU ho gayA thaa| bacapana meM agara koI unakA tauliyA ArAma se kAma meM letA thA aura ve khuda duHkhI hote the, to usa para se unheM jJAna patA calA ki, 'maiM bhugata rahA hU~, to bhUla merI hai!' / nyAya DhU~Dhane jAte taba mAra par3atI thI isalie samajha meM AyA ki jo ho rahA hai, vaha apane karmoM ke udaya ke anusAra hI hai| ___bacapana meM pena (caoNka ke Tukar3e) se khelate the| dUra se choTI DibbI meM pena (caoNka ke Tukar3e) ke Tukar3e DAlate the| ve khuda nizAnA lagAe bagaira DAlate the phira bhI pena DibbI meM giratI thii| unhoMne socA ki mujhe to yaha AtA nahIM hai to yaha kiyA kisane? khela khelate-khelate patA calA ki yaha saba vyavasthita hai| unake jIvana kI choTI-bar3I ghaTanAoM ke bAre meM jAnane ke bAda prazna to hogA hI na, ki kisa AdhAra para unheM yaha adbhuta jJAna prakaTa huA? dAdAzrI kahate haiM ki, 'hameM to yaha jJAna 'baTa naicurala', kudaratI rUpa se prakaTa huA hai'| ve dila ke sacce the, sinsiyara the aura chUTane kI kAmanA thI, isalie unheM aisA bhAva rahatA thA ki samakita jaisA kucha hogaa| lekina unheM to pUrNa prakAza ho gayA! logoM ke bhI puNya hoMge, vizva kA kalyANa honA hogA, isalie aise g2az2aba ke jJAnI prakaTa hue aura aisA adbhuta akrama vijJAna prakaTa huA! jaya saccidAnaMda 52

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anukramaNikA [1] bacapana [11] parivAra kA paricaya saMkSipta paricaya jJAnI kA 1 3 dhanya-dhanya bhUmi tarasAlI, janme jahA~.. 2 avatarita hue usa dhanya divasa ye.... vatana, carotarI chaH gA~va meM se bhAdaraNa.. 4 mUlata: hama aDAlaja ke 5 7 8 9 'mA~' ucca jAti kI, 'pitA' kulavAna 5 guNa sabhI apane lekara AyA thA... 6 daivIya kuTuMba thA, isalie namaskAra.. aisA vaibhava nahIM thA lekina thI.... jJAnI ke janma se lAbha hotA hai... naz2adIkI logoM ko lAbha milatA hai.. 9 kuTuMba meM janma lene se nahIM paraMtu ... 10 sAta pIr3hiyoM se kisI ko 'sAlA'... 11 sAle ke rUpa meM apamAna hone para taya.. 11 samajha meM AyA galata ahaMkAra,.... koI bhI lAlaca nahIM, aisI g2az2aba ... 13 12 [12] nirdoSa grAmya jIvana 15 mA~ aMbA ke lAla, 'aMbAlAla' galagoTA jaisA zarIra isalie kahate.. 15 dasa sAla taka kI umra phira bhI rahate.. 17 digaMbara arthAt bhAna hI nahIM thA... 18 usa samaya gA~va kI sabhI lar3akiyA~.. 19 dhanya hai usa bhadra vicAra vAlI prajA.. 20 atyaMta nirdoSatA bharA grAmya jIvana aisA dekhA hI nahIM thA na 53 21 22 [ 1.3 ] bacapana se hI ucca vyavahArika sUjha dimAg2a car3ha jAtA thA 'sAta... zAyada hI koI hotA hai sAta ... 25 sAta samoliyo isIlie nahIM ho... 25 praikTikala the aura dhyAna rakhate the... 26 Aja ke bacce haiM sirpha par3hAI meM,... 27 cAra sAla kI umra taka kA saba... 29 mohI jIva to bhUla jAtA hai 29 maz2Aka ko mAna liyA saca 30 [1.4 ] khela kUda sabhI logoM jaise hI nirdoSa khela... ve khuda bhA~je the isalie mAnate the... makara saMkrAMti vAstava meM sUrya ko... cale haiM bacapana se hI loka... rAjA kI taraha paTAkhe phUTate hue ... khelA hai nirdoSa holI kA khela... 22222222 24 31 31 32 33 34 34 [2] vidyArthI jIvana [2.1] par3hAI karanI thI bhagavAna khojane ke lie 'par3hakara hI Ae haiM' aisA sunate ... 36

Page #55
rauba jamAne ke lie ghaMTI bajane... 37 skUla meM mAsTara jI bhI Darate... 38 jahA~ bAkI saba phela, vahA~ dAdA... 39 kaoNmanasensa hara tarapha kA, lekina... 39 mAsTara jI ke DA~Tane para kahA ki.. 40 itane sAla kI par3hAI ke bAda prApti..41 itane sAloM meM to bhagavAna DhU~Dha... 42 do sAla meM jo bhASA sIkha jAe~.... 42 vahI kA vahI ajJAna par3hatA hai aura.. 43 varlDa kA kalyANa karane kA... 44 kitane hI mAsTara jI hama para khuza 45 bhagavAna DhU~Dhe, laghuttama sIkhate hue 46 caudaha sAla kI umra meM pariNAma... 48 jhukA svabhAva laghuttama kI ora, to.. 49 [2.2 ] maiTrika phela vilAyata bhejakara sUbedAra banAne... 51 samajha gae sUbedAra banAne ke pIche... 53 maiM sUbedAra banU~gA phira sarasUbedAra... 54 hamane isalie janma nahIM liyA hai... 55 nahIM cAhie kucha bhI, phira... 55 ghara meM kyA UparI kama haiM jo nae... 56 jo bhagavAna se bhI na dabeM ve... 57 'AI DonTa vaoNnTa TU sarva enIbaDI' 58 aMta meM pAna kI dukAna lagA lU~gA... 59 aTUTa bharosA khuda ke prArabdha para 59 z2arUrateM kama isalie AtA hai... 59 taya kiyA ki mujhe maiTrika meM pAsa.. 61 dhamakI dekara liyA phaoNrma 62 par3hAI kA bahAnA karake rahe haoNsTala.. 63 bhAI samajhate the ki par3ha rahA hai... 64 apane jaise hI mila jAe~, to... 65 jaisA cAhie thA usI yojanAnusAra.. 65 mujhe par3hanA thA yaha, 'sira para UparI..66 jisake pAsa saMtoSa rUpI dhana hai... 67 mukta hone ke lie suna lI thI... 67 'merA bigar3a jAegA' aisA bhaya nahIM...68 bhAI ke sAmane bhI nahIM hue lAcAra 69 parezAna hokara bar3e bhAI ne lagAyA... 69 khumArI vAle ko sabhI cIjeM mila... 70 jisameM hAtha DAle, turaMta hI usameM... 71 jo gulAmI meM se mukta kare, vahI... 72 vyavahAra se maiTrika phela, adhyAtma meM..73 [3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e do rupae meM bAdazAha jaise aiza 75 jitanI paise kI kImata, utanI hI... 77 rasa-kasa kama huA hai phaloM aura... 78 asala svAda ko nahIM pahacAnate Aja..79 alabelI nagarI muMbaI aura IrAnI... 80 tAjamahala hoTala se bhI acchI lagI...81 54

Page #56
aba galatI samajha meM AtI hai,... 100 sIkhe galata guruoM se maz2Aka ur3AnA101 adhika buddhi kA durupayoga, maz2Aka... 102 jokhima maz2Aka ur3Ane kA... 103 aMtarAyI haI buddhi, isalie 'sali...104 gae pakaur3e khAne tIna mIla dUra 82 hameM bhAtI thIM jalebiyA~ lekina khIra..82 phaTI huI dhotI pahanI kalA se 83 eka meM se banAe do pAna 84 ur3A nahIM chIMTA kapar3e dhone meM 84 jaldI uThane ke lie kI thI kalA 85 bacapana se hI dera se nahAne kI Adata86 calate samaya dharatI hilatI thI 87 ahaMkAra kI vajaha se a~gUThA rakhe... 87 kamAe paise nATaka ke kaoNnTraikTa meM 88 pahale lagA thA ki sinemA se... 89 kaliyuga Age bar3ha rahA hai 90 ekAMta meM baiThane para aMdara se milA... 91 jo bigAr3ane vAle saMyoga haiM vahI... 91 ye sAdhana kalyANa ke bar3e nimitta... 92 harijanoM kA tiraskAra acchA nahIM... 93 tiraskAra se huA hindustAna duHkhI 94 bacapana meM gAMdhI jI ko sunane gae the95 pagar3I kI eka lapeTa kholI to... 97 alaga taraha kI khoja hamArI 97 gAMdhI jI ne dikhAyA aura badalA... 97 vallabha bhAI ne sarva prakAra kI... 98 loha puruSa ne bA~dhI meMr3hakoM kI pA~ca..99 kusaMga ke rAste para cala par3e dostoM...105 sigareTa se jala uThA, bahuta pachatAvA.. 106 tAza ke khela meM dhokhA khAyA, paisoM.. 107 dhokhA khAkara milA hai jJAna, isI... 109 dUsaroM ke khetoM meM se corI karake... 110 bhare hue moha ne karavAI a~gUThI... 111 par3I huI milI, maiMne kahA~ corI kI?113 a~gUThI becakara paise ur3A die 113 jJAna se pahale sabhI jaisA hI kali...114 mAna ke AdhAra para yaha zobhA nahIM detA114 agara mila jAe to pA~ca sau gunA... 116 hamArI tarapha se prApta ho vaha sauMpa...116 kisI kA bhI bAkI na rahe aneka...117 lekina isase rahI pavitratA cAritra kI117 [5] madara [5.1] saMskArI mAtA [4] nAsamajhI meM galatiyA~ bahuta puNyazAlI aura suMdara thIM jhavera.. 119 jahA~ hamezA sadAvrata rahatA thA, usa...119 bA kA ceharA dekhate hI du:khI iMsAna..120 pArTanara ko banAyA buddhU 100 55

Page #57
139 jhavera bA kI parsanAliTI kA prabhAva...121 'inheM aMtima pada do' samatA va khAnadAniyata, ataH parezAna...122 kATe taba patA calatA hai ki prema... 139 logoM ko prema se bhojana karavAne meM... 122 tapa karake bhI khaTamala ke sAtha koI...140 bA ke dhIraja ne bApU jI ko bacAyA123 jAgate hue khAnA khilAkara hisAba...141 bahuta komala, isalie ghabarA jAtI... 124 jo jAgRta avasthA meM khAnA khilAe~...142 saMskAra ucca isalie bahU kI bahU...124 adbhuta biz2anesa dAdA kA, nukasAna..143 ina guNoM kI vajaha se bA para moha 125 jAgRta avasthA meM kATane diyA... 144 [5.2 ] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hae cukA do hisAba, phira nahIM kATeMge... 145 jAgRta, mAtA ke mAdhyama se khaTamala ko nikAlo, lekina mAro... 146 bistara para rakhane para bhI na kATeM to...146 bA ko parezAna kiyA kRSNa... 127 kSatriya blaDa, to kSaNa bhara meM hI... 127 khAnA khatma huA aura mehamAna Ae 147 'abhI kahA~ se A gae?', dekhI bA...148 'mAra khAkara AnA, mAranA mata' 128 aisI madara banAe~ mahAvIra 129 'aise khAnadAnI iMsAna ne aisA kahA?'..148 kSatriya to hote haiM samajhadAra mA~ ke...129 thaka gaI thIM isalie phira se mehanata...149 saralatA kI vajaha se bA ke manA... 130 jhaTapaTa AsAna sA khAnA banA diyA,.. 150 binA hetu ke nahIM lekina jaise hI...131 cAhe kaise bhI saMyoga hoM, lekina... 151 pUrva ke saMskAra, madara ko dekhakara...132 ApakA mana bigar3egA to vairAgya... 152 pahale to khaTamala para bahata ciDha thI133 sAdA banAnA lekina bhAva mata bigAr3anA152 khaTamala Tiphina lekara nahIM Ate 133 ijjata ke lie nahIM lekina premapUrvaka..153 jinakA sRjana nahIM kara sakate, unheM...135 jagat prema DhU~Dha rahA hai, cIjeM nahIM 154 dAdA kI anokhI zailI khaTamaloM se...137 eka bAra cetAvanI dene ke bAda hamezA..155 iMsAna ke pasIne meM se svayaMbhU utpanna...137 dUsaroM ke mana bigar3e, isalie nahIM... 156 AhAra sirpha manuSya kA rakta 137 'hama' choTe the phira bhI bA pUchate the 156 nirbhaya banAyA aura ArAma se... 138 bA kA mahAna upakAra, paradeza nahIM...157 56

Page #58
'mere lie to tU A gayA, to basa ' 157 ' darzana karane jaisA to sirpha tU hI hai ' 158 'merA bhagavAna tU hai,' pahacAna liyA.. 159 terI aisI bAteM mujhe bahuta acchI ... 159 bA kA mana Ahata na ho, isalie... 160 tInoM ke hI mana ke samAdhAna ke... 161 khAne kI mAtrA utanI hI 162 khuza rakhakara kAma lenA hai taTasthatA se nirikSaNa kiyA bA ke... 163 maulika khoja dAdA kI, Aja bA ne... 164 aba kucha hI dinoM ke mehamAna haiM.... asahya duHkha ke samaya chUTane ke lie.. 165 hastAkSara hone ke bAda meM hI AtI hai.. 166 164 162 rAjavaMzI puruSa jaise lagate the bar3e bhAI 180 dekhane jaisA vaibhava thA bar3e bhAI kA 181 parsanAliTI aura tejasvI A~khoM... 182 183 pUrva janma ke yogI the, isalie ... bhAI ne TokA, 'tujhe ghor3I para baiThanA 184 gusse meM pheMka die sTova aura.... 185 bahuta ahaMkArI isalie paMgata meM .. pUrva janma ke puNya kI vajaha se.. 187 189 jaba madara aMtima sthiti meM thIM... 166 madara kA prema aura ajJAna thA isIlie.. 167 'baccoM ko kyA dhAr3a meM denA hai.. 190 192 rAjasI aura dayAlu, isalie logoM.. 191 maz2adUroM kA pakSa lekara pulisa..... nahIM ghabarAte the gAyakavAr3a ke cacere.. 193 kisI kI bhI gulAmI pasaMda nahIM thI.. 194 sUbedAra ko bhI DarA dete the aura ghara.. 195 nyAyI hisAba-kitAba nahIM thA isalie 196 brAnDI kI lata se kImata calI gaI... 197 merI baira bA~dhane kI taiyArI nahIM thI... 198 pIche se to saba kahate haiM mere sAmane.. 198 mArakara AnA, becArA banakara mata AnA 199 [6] phAdara 171 rAjasI iMsAna aura sarala jIvana 169 pitA jI ko lagA ki yaha lar3akA... 169 mujhe to bhagavAna hI cAhie the merI janmapatrI bahuta acchI thI... phAdara bar3e bhAI ko bhI DA~Tane nahIM... jijJAsA vaza phAdara se prazna pUchatA... 172 pahacAnakara duniyA ke svabhAva ko..... phAdara ko chalA, usake bAda meM khUba... 173 hamArI upasthiti meM phAdara kA dehAMta 174 173 171 171 sabhI ke phAdara abhI taka haiM, mere kyoM.. mA~-bApa kI sevA vaha pratyakSa- nakada 177 jIvana bhara jo kiyA aMta meM vahI .... 177 aMtima samaya meM AtA hai pUre jIvana... 178 [7] bar3e bhAI 57 .176

Page #59
mujhe hiMsA kA bhaya, bar3e bhAI ko... 200 tU 'hA~' kaha, varnA aMbAlAla se zAdI...216 bahuta viSama svabhAva, to saba jagaha.. 201 bhAI kI vajaha se mahArAnI jaisA rauba 217 bicchuoM ko mAra dete the isalie bar3e..202 strI caritra ko pahacAnanA sIkhe bhAbhI se 218 mujhe nahIM pusAtI hiMsA, bar3e bhAI se.. 202 siMha jaise bhAI ko kapaTa se banA diyA.. 219 bhAI kA prema bahuta thA, lekina aura... 203 pahacAnate the paira se sira taka bhAbhI ko.. 220 hiMsA ke mata meM alaga lekina ahaMkAra..203 'gira jAU~gI sura-sAgara meM', trAgA... 221 siMha ghAsa nahIM khAtA kabhI bhI 204 kalA karake bhAI ko dikhAyA bhAbhI.. 222 ve aise nahIM the ki kamizana leM lekina..205 dUsarI bAra zAdI karake mUrkha bane 223 yadi Apa khAnadAnI ho to aisA zobhA..206 bhAI ko vaza meM karane ke lie karatI...224 bhAI kI burI AdatoM kI vajaha se paisoM..207 bhAI bhole the isalie bhAbhI ko hAtha... 225 bahuta bItI, usake bAda svataMtra kAma..208 maiM hisAba nahIM dUMgA, merI svataMtratA para..226 bar3e bhAI kI zarAba chur3avAne ke lie.. 209 bhAbhI kI vajaha se ghara chor3akara... 226 merA hita isI meM hai ki bhAI ko sukha... 210 ghumA-phirAkara duHkha detI thIM hameM 227 yadi aisI lata nahIM hotI to.... 210 veDhamI meM jyAdA ghI letA thA aura bhAbhI.. 227 spiricuala levala para se ulTI lAina..210 khAte samaya para hI bhAbhI zikAyata... 228 puNya ke pratApa se rauba sahita bistara... 211 bhAbhI ke vaza meM rahane ke bajAya bhAga.. 229 nahIM gae kisI ke lie smazAna meM... 212 eka bhI paisA sAtha meM nahIM rakhA aisI... 229 aMta meM zarAba chor3akara kie upavAsa 212 mA~ganA nahIM AyA to jhUTha bolakara... 230 DaoNkTara to nimitta the, mukhya kAraNa to.. 213 jJAna ke bAda nahIM rahA vaha ahaMkAra 231 'maiM hU~ pUrva janma kA yogI' aMtima... 214 z2arUrata lAyaka hI paise lie 231 helpa kI thI mitra kI, to ve bahuta.. 232 [8] bhAbhI kisI ke yahA~ jAne kI icchA nahIM... 233 [8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba , sAla TikaTa kA cArja bar3ha gayA isalie... 233 bhAbhI thIM dUsarI bAra ke aura rutabe... 216 akla calAkara nikAlA rAstA 234 58

Page #60
sAtha binA TikaTa ke, khudAbakSa kI taraha 235 bhAbhI mAsTara jI aura maiM ziSya... 257 TikaTa kI corI karane se bace do Ane235 strI caritra meM pAsa hone ke bAda... 257 vAsada meM khAe pakaur3e aura pI cAya 236 18.2] bhAbhI ko upakArI mAnA iz2z2ata na jAe isalie bhAI ko.. 236 bhAbhI ne utArA hamArA ahaMkAra 259 puNyazAlI isalie cAya ke samaya.. 237 lagatI thIM duzmana lekina samajha meM.. 260 paise nahIM, eDresa nahIM, mitra ke... 238 mere lie bhI hitakArI banIM bhAbhI 261 binA pate ke hoziyArI se DhU~Dha... 239 jJAnI banane meM nimitta bhAbhI 261 dhanya bhAgya hamAre ki Apa hamAre... 241 absTrakzana se hotA hai pragati kI.. 262 sukha meM se DhU~DhA duHkha, saMDAsa meM... 242 mere vairAgya kI nimitta banIM bhAbhI 262 hameM to kudaratI rUpa se kabhI kyU... 244 mokSa ke rAste para le jAtI haiM... 263 jisameM hAtha kAle hoM vaha kAma... 244 kaoNnTraikTa ke kAma meM sarvisa nahIM... 245 [8.3 ] vyavahAra lakSmI kA, bhAbhI ke phrI kAma karU~gA, taba phira vaha... 245 maiM ApakA sarvenTa nahIM balki... 246 karma kI ulajhaneM, isalie nahIM... 264 bar3e bhAI kI maryAdA rakhI, vApasa... 247 hakadAra nahIM the phira bhI jo mA~gA.. 265 nAsamajhI kI jhaMjhaTa, isalie bhAgane..248 bhAbhI kA klema nahIM rakhA bAkI 265 bar3e bhAI ne kahA, 'arere! tujhe... 249 dhokhA khAkara bhI kisI kA klema.. 266 AzvAsana dene vAlA hI rulAkara... 250 nahIM milegA aisA bhagavAna jaisA... 267 bhAbhI ke trAgA ko pahacAnakara... 251 jJAna ke bAda leTa go karake nibhAyA.. 268 karanA nahIM AtA lekina maiM pahacAna..252 hameM bholA mAnakara, aMTI meM DAlane.. 269 pUrI duniyA kA trAgA utArU~, aisA.. 252 Apta jaisA mAnakara, chale gae... 270 Apase hI sIkhI yaha kalA 253 unakA doSa dekhA hI nahIM, merI hI... 271 kalA se zAMta kara diyA bhAbhI ko 253 agara bevakUpha baneMge to jAne deMge... 272 bhAbhI se sIkhA aura banA strI... 256 [8.4] bhAbhI ke ucca prAkRta guNa maiM pahacAna jAtA hU~ strI caritra... 256 ucca caritra aura zIlavAnapanA 274 59

Page #61
TakhanA bhI dikhAI nahIM detA thA aura.. 275 cacere bhAIyoM meM thI z2abaradasta spardhA 296 bhAbhI kA caritra ucca isalie dAdA.. 275 mujhase spardhA karo aura Age Ao 297 kaliyuga meM isI eka 'satI' ko... 276 sAmane vAle kI jisa zakti kI... 297 garva bahuta thA una para, isalie vaza.. 277 binA taule-binA nApe vApasa kara... 298 'devara hamAre lakSmaNa jI jaise' 278 dAdA ke sakhta zabda utAreM nazA 300 pAvaraphula buddhi se samajhAtI thIM... 279 sira duHkha jAe aise zabda bola dete... 302 . usa dharma ne hI unakA rakSaNa kiyA 280 velDiMga karane vAlA hamezA mAra hI... 304 bhAbhI ne kahA, 'mujhe bhI jJAna do' 280 bhatIje ne saMyogavaza kucha aisA kahA.. 304 nahIM tor3a sakate the logoM kA AdhAra.. 281 z2arUrata lAyaka paise lie, isalie... 305 aMta meM bhagavAna samajhakara karate the... 281 khAnadAnI iMsAna ko parezAna karanA... 305 karma kI ulajhaneM huI narama, phira bhI... 282 usase unakI bhI iz2z2ata rahI aura... 307 divAlI bA karatI thIM dAdA kI... 283 vaha cora nahIM hai, use mA~ganA nahIM... 307 bhAbhI thIM na, isalie parezAna karate.. 283 khAnadAnI iMsAna ko cora kaise kaha... 309 mahArAja, mere aMbAlAla ko kucha nahIM 285 kA kucha nahI 280 ye dAdA to bhagavAna jaise haiM 310 unhoMne bhAbhI se apanA dharma chor3ane... 286 itanA karanA A jAegA to kAma... 311 zurU se hI bhagavAna meM ruci 286 mA~gane se pahale paise dekara sAmane... 312 dAdA ke brahmacarya ke bAre meM... 287 usakA sagA bhAI AkSepa lagAtA thA... 313 saMsAra kA moha nahIM thA 288 hamArI dekhane kI dRSTi hI alaga hai... 314 dAdA aura unakI bhAbhI ke bIca... 289 dAdA ko sauMpA to saba rAste para... 315 [9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje / jo pakar3A jAtA hai vaha nahIM... 317 jJAnI bhI khilaunA, blaDa rilezana... 291 saMyogavaza cora, vaha cora nahIM hai... 318 ahaMkAra kI lar3AI lekina kapaTa... 292 prejuDisa rahanA, vaha eka bahuta bar3A... 318 bhatIje bar3e lekina vinaya bahuta... 294 hama eka hI taraha ke abhiprAya vAle... 319 agara bAhara vAlA koI kucha kahe... 295 maiM maoNrala kharIda letA thA 320 60

Page #62
jAna chur3avAne ke lie logoM ne... 322 sAmane koI pratispaMdana nahIM hone se... 194 prakRti ko pahacAnakara bodhakalA se.. 323 [10] prakaTa hue guNa bacapana se bhatIjA thA isalie mana meM aisA bhAva.. 324 [10.1] zurU se hI asAmAnya ulTA bole phira bhI dekhate the... 325 vyaktitva ahaMkAra bhagna lekina usake guNa... 326 asAmAnya banane kA vicAra 353 dAdA ne dhyAna rakhakara zAdI karavAI... 327 nahIM mAphika AyA kapaTa, saralatA.. 355 nikAla denA to sabhI ko AtA hai... 329 maiM paise detA thA ki jise dhokhA.... 331 kisI ke lie bhI dakhala rUpa nahIM... 357 357 mere paisoM se sudhara jAe to bhI bahata... 333 kapaTa va mamatA the hI nahIM DhU~Dha nikAlA ki yaha to mere paisoM... 334 [10.2 ] mamatA nahIM yoM paise pAnI kI taraha bahAtA thA... 335 vahA~ para khAtA z2arUra thA lekina ghara.. 358 'TakarAva TAlanA' sUtra prakAza meM... 336 mamatA nahIM thI isalie jagat dikhAI.. 358 niyama se sUtra kA pAlana kiyA... 337 zurU se hI aparigrahI, lAlaca yA... 359 'TakarAva TAlanA', jaldI mokSa meM... 339 [10.3] oblAijiMga necara bhatIje kA roga nikAlane ke lie... 339 kisa taraha negeTiva guNa ko paoNz2iTiva340 Thage jAte the, phira bhI auroM kA kAma.. 361 par3hegA nahIM to vyavahArika sUjha to... 341 / kisI ko kaise khuza karU~, usI meM 362 dAdA ke bhatIje kA anubhava unake hI..342 lete hue bhI nukasAna uThAyA aura... 362 acche-kharAba ke sarTiphikeTa meM bhI... 346 dukAna vAloM ko duHkha na ho isalie.. 363 cacere bhAIyoM kA guNa, ve Ter3hA bolate.. 347 kamizana kA Aropa na lage isalie... 364 dekhakara zuddhAtmA, laTU ke lie nahIM.. 348 apanI tArIpha pasaMda thI aura hetu yaha.. 365 nATakIya riztA rakhA saba ke sAtha 349 ATha Ane ke lie zaMkA karake prema... 365 lIjie apanI pustakeM aura jJAna... 350 do rupae ke lie nahIM banatA hamArA... 366 dAdA kI sahI pahacAna nahIM huI 330 vesTa kA kiyA besTa upayoga.... 367 61

Page #63
[10.4] jahA~ mAra khAte the vahA~ turaMta TemparerI para cir3ha zurU se hI 385 chor3a dete the duniyA ko pahacAnA, pApa kA... 385 rUThe the bacapana meM eka bAra 368 prati kSaNa dikhAI detA hai vikarAla... 386 bhAbhI ko dUdha z2yAdA diyA, taba vApasa..369 [10.6] vividha prakAra ke bhaya ke usakI mA~ yahA~ para nahIM hai, isalie.. 370 sAmane... rUThA huA iMsAna DhU~DhatA hai rispaoNnsa 370 mRtyu kA bhaya, to aisA hotA thA ki... 387 hisAba meM patA calA, hai mAtra nukasAna371 bacapana meM lagatA thA sA~pa aura... 387 lagA ki nukasAna hai to rUThanA huA.. 372 kalpanA kI vajaha se bhAbhI ke bhUta... 389 phira se pachatAvA na karanA par3e... 372 logoM ne kahA thA isalie dikhAI... 389 rUThe hue iMsAna ke lie nahIM khar3I... 373 zUravIratA vAlA svabhAva, to bhaya kA.. 390 kula milAkara yaha vyApAra hai... 374 Atma zraddhA thI ki 'mujhe kucha nahIM.. 391 [10.5 ] jAnA, jagat hai polampola ve lapaTeM bhUta kI nahIM thIM, ve sulagatI..392 dekhA rone-dhone kA nATaka 374 sune hue jJAna ke AdhAra para vahama 392 bhole dila vAle, isalie pahale to... 376 babUla kA DhU~Tha lagA bhUta jaisA 393 laukika vyavahAra meM DhU~Dha nikAlI... 376 kSatriya svabhAva isIlie mUla rUpa... 393 inDiyana paz2ala, usakA hala phaoNrena... 377 ve haiM kalpanA ke bhUta 394 laukika tarIke se sahI hai lekina... 378 [10.7] yamarAja ke bhaya ke sAmane pola bAhara nahIM AtI hai isalie... 379 zodha pUrI duniyA laukika hai, isalie... 380 marane vAle ke lie nahIM lekina khuda.. 382 yamarAja kI ulTI mAnyatA sirpha... 396 dhokhA khAkara duniyA kI pola... 381 dasa sAla kI umra meM vicAra Ate the.. 396 jAte haiM jamAI kI maiyata meM lekina... 382 kuttA roe isakA matalaba yamarAja... 397 unake bahanoI kI ciMtA meM maiM to... 383 DarAvane phoTo banAe yamarAja ke 398 duniyA kA nirIkSaNa karake aMta meM... 384 sabhI ko helpa ho isalie rAta kI... 398 62

Page #64
kutte ko rote dekhakara huA bhrama... 399 bhagavAna ApakI kalpanA jaise haiM hI... 415 sune hue va zraddhA vAle jJAna se... 400 baiThAne ke bAda uThA deM to vaha mokSa... 416 cAcA ko to le jAe~ge lekina mujhe.. 401 rileTiva meM upakArI calegA lekina... 417 bhaya ke jJAna ke sAmane dUsarA jJAna... 401 DhU~Dha nikAlA ki merA aura ApakA... 417 subaha cAcA sahI salAmata the... 402 nahIM pusAe~ge ve bhagavAna jo DA~Te 418 zurU kI jA~ca, yamarAja kI bAta sahI..402 bhagavAna UparI aura mokSa, ye donoM... 418 duniyA kI nahIM sune, aisA pAgala... 403 mokSa arthAt no anDarahainDa, no baoNsa419 sAmanA karU~gA lekina logoM ko... 403 mujhe apane aMdara vAle bhagavAna ke... 420 taba calI z2abaradasta vicAra zrRMkhalA 404 vidrohI aura ni:spRhI svabhAva kI... 420 kiyA jAhira, 'yamarAja nAma kA koI..405 aMta meM DhU~Dha nikAlA vAstavika... 421 yamarAja ke galata bhaya se mAra... 406 bhagavAna hamArA khuda kA hI svarUpa hai..422 ni-yamarAja, bana gayA yamarAja 406 UparI hI upAdhi hai niyamarAja se nahIM lagegA bhaya 407 bhagavAna kI bhakti karake unake jaisA..423 deta pApa karane se rokane kA 100 nAma yAda karate hI duHkha dUra hote haiM...424 pApa kama nahIM hue aura yamarAja raha... 409 aMdara vAle bhagavAna se hI kahatA thA...425 pUrI duniyA ke bhUta nikAlane AyA hU~410 jise anDarahainDa pasaMda nahIM hai... 425 eka-eka zabda apUrva, isIlie... 411 galata karane se rokane ke lie bhagavAna..426 bhagavAna nahIM lekina merI bhUleM hI... 426 [10.8] bhagavAna ke bAre meM maulika samajha Atmayoga ke alAvA saba yoga... 427 jo ciMtA nahIM ghaTAe, vaha lAiTa... 428 sacce dila vAlA thA isalie bhagavAna..412 sAdhu saMtoM kI sevA karanA bahuta... 412 [10.9 ] sahI guru kI pahacAna thI 'bhagavAna mokSa le jAe~ge' sunakara... 414 zurU se hI jahA~ bhagavAna UparI hoM, aisA mokSa... 414 koI dharma nahIM lekina vItarAga mArga... 430 423 63

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jo mujhe kucha sikhAegA, vahA~ para... 430 [10.10]jJAnI ke lakSaNa, bacapana se hI bahuta dinoM taka chalA gayA, aba nahIM...431 jaldabAz2a aura zarAratI svabhAva 441 mamatA yA svArtha nahIM, isIlie nahIM...432 citta kutte ko khilAne meM thA, merI bAta..441 bacapana meM guru ke bAre meM yathArtha samajha 433 kSatriya putra aura dimAg2a tUphAnI... 442 mujhe vAstavika brahmasaMbaMdha cAhie... 433 gunahagAra ko jAne binA nimitta ko... 443 pariNAma ko pakar3ane vAlA vaijJAnika...434 agara nimitta ko kATeM to kutte aura... 444 pariNAma hI dikhAI dete the, isalie... 435 jo nimitta ko na kATe, vaha bhagavAna.. 445 logoM ke mAne hue sukha meM nahIM dekhA... 436 patA calA - 'bhugate usI kI bhUla' 446 jo kisI kI nakala nahIM kare... 437 duHkha hone para hisAba nikAla liyA.. 446 aMdara vAle bhagavAna ko DA~TatA thA... 437 ra vyavasthita DhU~Dha liyA bacapana meM 447 Ter3he-mer3he rAste ke bajAya acchA... 438 vyavAsa khuda ke mAne hue rAste para calakara aMta.430 dila ke sacce the na isIlie saccA... 447 64

Page #66
jJAnI puruSa 'dAdA bhagavAna' bhAga-1 [1] bacapana [ 1.1] parivAra kA paricaya saMkSipta paricaya jJAnI kA praznakartA: saMkSepa meM ApakA jIvana cAritra batAie / dAdA kA mUla nAma kyA hai ? dAdAzrI : merA nAma aMbAlAla mUlajI bhAI paTela, gA~va bhAdaraNa aura acchA privaar| hamArI bA (madara) jhabera bA / mere phAdara (pitA), loga unheM 'mUlajI kAkA' kahate the aura mere bar3e bhAI kA nAma maNi bhAI / praznakartA : Apane kahA~ taka par3hAI kI hai dAdA ? dAdAzrI : aisA kucha nahIM AtA thA / 'maiTrika phela' hU~ / praznakartA : ApakA vyavasAya / dAdAzrI : hamArA vyavasAya bilDiMga kaoNnTraikTa kA thA, jo pahale se hI mere bradara kA thA / usameM maiM jaoNina ho gayA /

Page #67
jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA : phira zAdI kI thI kyA? dAdAzrI : hA~, paMdraha sAla kI umra meM zAdI huI thii| merI vAipha haiM, hIrA baa| praznakartA : phira Apake kitane bacce hue? dAdAzrI : do bacce the| donoM bacapana meM hI guz2ara ge| praznakartA : aba yaha batAie ki jJAna kaba huA? dAdAzrI : vaha 1958 meM huA, sUrata sTezana pr| praznakartA : adhyAtma ke bAre meM Apake anubhava aura vicAra btaaie| dAdAzrI : maiM mana-vacana-kAyA se bilkula alaga rahatA hU~, bilkula nirAlA rahatA hU~, phira bhI kevalajJAna nahIM huA hai, kAla kI vajaha se cAra DigrI nahIM pcaa|| praznakartA : Apako saba se adhika kauna sI cIz2a priya hai? dAdAzrI : mujhe AtmA ke alAvA aura koI bhI vastu priya nahIM hai| dhanya-dhanya bhUmi tarasAlI, janme jahA~ akrama jJAnI praznakartA : dAdA, ApakA janma sthala? dAdAzrI : hamArA janma tarasAlI gA~va meM, nanihAla meM huA thaa| praznakartA : nanihAla meM huA thA to vaha ApakA RNAnubaMdha thA na? dAdAzrI : hA~, mAmI ne to hameM bA kI taraha rakhA thaa| jaba maiM choTA thA, usa samaya gA~va meM DAkA DalA thA, taba gA~va meM yaha ghara saba se bar3A thA, isalie saba se pahale vahA~ para DAkA ddlaa| taba hamArI mAmI hameM godI meM uThAkara choTe kamare meM le gaI thIM aura hama vahA~ para chupa gae the| __ praznakartA : dAdA, tarasAlI meM ApakA janma huA thA to vahA~ para bhI maMdira banegA na?

Page #68
[1.1] parivAra kA paricaya dAdAzrI : are! maMdira nahIM, usa jagaha ke to na jAne kitane rupae Ae~ge, vaha to bhagavAna jAne ! praznakartA : use koI beca thor3e hI deMge, dAdA? yaha to mahAbhAgya hai ki aisA vaha ghara, jahA~ dAdA kA janma huA ! dAdAzrI : vahA~ para, loga usa rUma ke darzana karane jAte haiN| usa rUma ko kharIda lenA hai lAkhoM rupae kharca karake bhii| chor3eMge nahIM na ye loga! praznakartA : nahIM chor3eMge daadaa| dAdAzrI : bhAdaraNa kA makAna bhI nahIM chodd'eNge| praznakartA : nahIM chor3eMge, daadaa| dAdAzrI : jahA~ caraNa par3e vahA~ tIrtha bana jAtA hai! praznakartA : hA~ dAdA! Apake caraNa par3e haiN| ye dAdA to calatephirate, jIte-jAgate aura bolate hue vidyamAna tIrtha haiM! dAdAzrI : varlDa kA bahuta bar3A Azcarya hai! lekina loga jAnate nahIM haiM na becaare| phira kyA ho sakatA hai? avatarita hue usa dhanya divasa ye paramAtmA praznakartA : dAdA, Apake janma kI tArIkha kauna sI hai, vaha jAnanA hai| dAdAzrI : Apa batAo na inheM, Apa jAnate ho na? (dAdAzrI kisI anya mahAtmA se kahate haiN|) mahAtmA : saMvata 1965, kArtika suda cauds| aura aMgrejI kI 1908 lekina tArIkha kauna sI? dAdAzrI : sAta navambara, terasa hai lekina loga caudasa ko manAte haiN| usameM TAima meM kucha pharka hai z2arA saa| praznakartA : hN| vAstava meM terasa hai ?

Page #69
jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : aisA usameM likhA huA hai terasa, caudasa bhI ho sakatI hai| isa divAlI ke bAda meM vaha janma jayaMtI manAI jAegI, caudasa pr| praznakartA : arthAt kArtika suda caudasa? dAdAzrI : yoM bhI hama (jJAna dazA meM) caudasa haiM aura janma jayaMtI bhI caudasa kii| hama caudasa haiM, pUnama to sImaMdhara svAmI kahalAte haiN| praznakartA : hA~ hA~, g2az2aba hai! Apa caudasa haiM ? dAdAzrI : yoM haiM to caudasa (356 DigrI) aura janma bhI caudasa ke din| vatana, carotarI cha: gA~va meM se bhAdaraNa meM praznakartA : janma huA nanihAla meM tarasAlI gA~va meM lekina ApakA gA~va kauna sA hai? dAdAzrI : hamArA gA~va bhaadrnn| cha:-sAta haz2Ara kI janasaMkhyA vAlA gaaNv| hama to bhAdaraNa ke paTela haiM, cha: gA~va ke pttel| yAnI ki pATIdAra kamyUniTI meM yaha TaoNpa klAsa gA~va hai isalie hamAre yahA~ kA daheja-vaheja z2yAdA hai| praznakartA : to vaha bahuta raubIlA gA~va hogA? dAdAzrI : hA~, hamAre janma se pahale hamAre gA~va meM rivAja thA, (janma se) bIsa sAla pahale vaha rivAja rahA hogaa| vaha kyA thA ki koI bhI vyakti ghor3e para baiThakara gA~va meM se hokara nahIM jA sakatA thaa| yadi rAjA bhI jAte to unheM bhI utAra dete the| praznakartA : bhAdaraNa carotara meM hai aura carotara pradeza ke bahuta hI bakhAna kie haiM kaI saMtoM ne| dAdAzrI : hA~, kRpAludeva ne kahA hai ki 'yadi baniyoM ke yahA~ janma nahIM huA hotA aura yadi yahA~ para carotara meM huA hotA, aise logoM ke bIca meM to logoM kA bahuta kalyANa ho jAtA!'

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[1.1] parivAra kA paricaya praznakartA : lekina isIlie to aba Apa A gae haiM na! dAdAzrI : sahajAnaMda svAmI ne bhI bakhAna kie haiM ki 'bhAI, yahA~ vaDatAla meM maMdira banAnA caahie'| carotara kA nIma! are! ArAma se usake darzana karate raheM, aisA nIma hotA hai! usakA tanA to hAtha meM hI na aae| yadi do loga Amane-sAmane A jAe~, taba jAkara usa tane ko cAroM ora hAthoM se pakar3a pAte the, jabaki kahIM aura to itanA hI karake 'A gayA niim'| moTA hI nahIM hotA na! mUlataH hama aDAlaja ke bhAdaraNa se pahale bhI mUlataH hama to paTeloM ke beTe, gA~va meM se Ae haiN| kauna sA gA~va batAyA thA unhoMne ? praznakartA : aDAlaja, addaalj| dAdAzrI : addaalj| hamane usa gA~va kA nAma kyoM yAda rakhA hai? kyoMki mUlataH hama vahA~ ke haiN| mUlataH hama aDAlaja ke haiN| hamAre jo chaH gA~va vAle haiM na, ve sabhI aDAlaja ke haiN| hamAre sabhI bujurga mUlataH aDAlaja ke the| praznakartA : aisA to mere phAdara bhI kahate haiM ki apane bApa-dAdA vahA~ ke the, mUlataH aDAlaja ke the| dAdAzrI : ve bhI aDAlaja ke the, lekina aba to aMdara kitane hI loga aDAlaja ke nahIM haiM para unheM hama kaise kucha kaha sakate haiM? dabAva DAlakara nahIM kaha sakate haiM na, hm| isalie hamAre lie to yadi Apake phAdara ne Apase kahA ho to Apa sahI ho lekina inake phAdara ne manA kiyA ho to kyA kara sakate haiM hama? pATIdAra to haiM hI na, aisA thor3e hI hai ki pATIdAra nahIM raheMge? ___'mA~' ucca jAti kI, 'pitA' kulavAna praznakartA : Apa jo jJAnI ke rUpa meM pahacAne gae usase pahale ApakA jIvana yAnI ki ApakA parivAra, mAtA-pitA, vahA~ kA vAtAvaraNa, lAlana-pAlana, kAla aisI koI bAta kIjie na!

Page #71
jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : hA~, parivAra kA mAhaula acchA thaa| saMskArI mAhaula, saMskArI privaar| merI madara to aisI thIM ki DhU~Dhane para bhI na mileM, aisI thiiN| z2amIna hI agara acchI na ho to acchA paudhA kaise uga pAegA? usI prakAra isameM bhI mAtA acchI honI caahie| yAnI ki merA janma to bahuta mulAyama hArTa vAlI mA~ kI kokha se huA thaa| hamArI bA jaisI strI maiMne Aja taka nahIM dekhii| unake jo vicAra the, unakA jo vartana, unakI dayA, karuNA vaha maiMne dekhA hai| itanA to bahuta hI ucca prakAra kA thaa| unheM maiM janma sthala mAnatA hU~, bahuta ucca janma sthala! eka vyakti ne Darate-Darate mujhase pUchA thA ki 'Apa aise kaise janme?' taba maiMne kahA, merI 'mAtA' ucca jAti kI thIM aura 'pitA' kulavAna the| kulavAna kaise hote haiM ? braoNDa viz2ana (vizAla dRSTi) vAle hote haiN| kulavAna para dAg2a nahIM laganA cAhie, kulavAna para eka bhI dAg2a nahIM laganA caahie| pyoriTI ke binA yaha greDa mila hI nahIM sakatI hai na! aura phAdaramadara sabhI meM pyoriTI thI, atyaMta pyoriTI aura pUre dina saba kA yahI kAma thA ki kisa prakAra kisI kA kAma kreN| usameM bhI madara to bahuta hI aise... hamArI madara kA to aisA thA ki hamAre gA~va meM kaI loga aisA kahate the ki 'terI madara jaisI madara zAyada hI kabhI rahI hoNgii| guNa sabhI apane lekara AyA thA lekina madara meM dekhane se prakaTa hue phaimilI acchI thI aura madara bahuta hI saMskArI, atyadhika sNskaarii| praznakartA : ve Apako virAsata meM mile the| dAdAzrI : isa jagat meM jise virAsata kahate haiM, vaha to sirpha

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[1.1] parivAra kA paricaya kahane ke lie hai| vAstava meM virAsata jaisA kucha hotA nahIM hai| usakA artha kucha aura hI hai| yoM laukika meM aisA kahate haiM ki 'virAsata meM milA hai, lekina vAstava meM vaha karekTa bAta nahIM hai| isa bAta ke pIche bahuta gaharI bAteM haiN| virAsata meM yaha milA thA lekina pUrva janma kA merA koI hisAba rahA hogA na! pUrva janma se, anaMta janmoM se kucha lAyA hoU~gA na! vaha lekara AyA thA, isalie yaha saba prakaTa huaa| maiM apanA lekara AyA thA isIlie to unake ghara para janma huA na! unakI vajaha se hI prakaTa hue| unameM dekhane se hI prakaTa hue| unameM dekhA, isalie prakaTa huaa| daivIya kuTuMba thA, isalie namaskAra karate the gA~va vAle hamArA parivAra bahuta acchA thaa| mujhe to hamAre gA~va meM do-tIna loga kyA kahate the ki, 'Apake mAtA-pitA aura Apake ghara ko to hama namaskAra karate haiN| kitane lAgaNI (lagAva, bhAvukatA vAlA prema) vAle haiM, kisI kA kAma nikAla deM, aise haiM ye loga! jinakA kesa hAtha meM lete haiM na, unakA pUrA hI kAma kara dete haiN| itane lAgaNI vAle, dayAlu, kisI kA bhI har3apate nahIM the, aura ye harahAyA nahIM haiN|' harahAyA pazu (AvArA pazu, hara tarapha ghUmakara phasala ko hAni pahu~cAne vAlA) jaise logoM ne ikaTThA kiyA hotA hai aura ve aura bhI jyAdA ikaTThA karate haiN| hama ikaTThA nahIM karate the| are ! jitanA hamAre nasIba meM hogA utanA aaegaa| kisI-kisI jagaha para to mere paira chUte the aura kahate the, 'dhanya hai ApakA privaar'| kabhI bhI koI aiba nahIM, dAg2a nhiiN| varnA corI, luccApana yadi aisA kucha ho to tiraskAra hotA hai| nahIM hotA? praznakartA : hotA hai| dAdAzrI : eka bhI aiba nhiiN| mUlajI kAkA ke avasAna ke samaya paise nahIM the phira bhI maNi bhAI ne kahA, 'mujhe to pUre muhalle ko khAnA khilAnA hai|' icchA to pUre muhalle kI hai, aura kiyA bhii| paise nahIM the

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jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) to udhAra lekara kiyaa| chor3A nahIM na! itanA saba, bahuta maz2abUta log| aura paise kI nA hI peTiyA~ thIM, tijoriyA~ bhI nahIM thiiN| mAna kyoM milatA thA? parivAra acchA thA islie| jo auroM ke lie hI jIte haiM, vaise hI saba loga yahA~ jnme| jo logoM ke lie hI jIte haiM na, vaise hI sb| mujhe to gA~va ke kitane hI bujurga kahate the, 'bhAI, ApakI to kyA bAta kareM? kaisA ghara! kitanA acchA! kisI ko duHkha nahIM, kisI ko trAsa nahIM diyaa|' aisA thA isalie paira chUte the bujurga! kaisA daivIya parivAra hai! aisA saba kahate the| koI duHkha de jAe na, taba bhI use duHkha nahIM dete the, aisI ksstriytaa| acchA kahalAegA na? praznakartA : hA~, bahuta acchaa| dAdAzrI : aura sammAnasahita jIvana guz2ArA thA, isalie mAna kI pUrI bhUkha khatma ho cukI thI lekina jo ahaMkAra ikaTThA ho gayA thA na, vaha uchala-kUda macAtA thaa| aisA vaibhava nahIM thA lekina thI khAnadAniyata kI kImata ___vaha khAnadAnI parivAra thA, aisA jinheM acchA daheja mile| aba vahA~ para janma huA thaa| jAyadAda jyAdA nahIM thI sirpha khAnadAna kI hI kImata thii| hamArI jAyadAda kitanI thI? nanihAla meM sAr3he chaH bIghA z2amIna thI aura dasa bIghA bhAdaraNa meM thii| praznakartA : dAdA, Apane kahA thA na, ki bahuta puNya ho to aisI jagaha para janma hotA hai ki baMgale vagairaha saba taiyAra hI milatA hai, to ApakA janma aisI koI jagaha para kyoM nahIM huA? dAdAzrI : kahA~ ? praznakartA : ApakA janma vaibhava meM kyoM nahIM huA? dAdAzrI : maiM vaha sArA vaibhava dekhakara hI AyA thaa| mujhe to vaibhava z2arA bhI acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| mujhe to bacapana se hI yadi koI vaibhava vAlI cIz2a milatI thI to mujhe acchA nahIM lagatA thaa|

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[1.1] parivAra kA paricaya 9 jJAnI ke janma se lAbha hotA hai samagra parivAra ko praznakartA : Apane jina mAtA-pitA ke yahA~ janma liyA, una mAtA-pitA ko ApakI vajaha se koI bhI lAbha huA thA? dAdAzrI : lAbha to sabhI ko hotA hai sirpha mAtA-pitA ko hI aisA nhiiN| pahale to sAta pIr3hI taka ke sabhI logoM ko lAbha hotA hai aura phira vApasa pUre gA~va ko bhii| caudaha-paMdraha pIr3hiyoM vAlA hai yaha pUrA gA~va, una sabhI ko lAbha pahu~catA hai| yoM to sabhI ko (hamArI upasthiti kA) vAtAvaraNa (asara) pahu~catA hai| praznakartA : Apane unake yahA~ janma liyA to unheM kama yA jyAdA lAbha hogA, aisA kucha hai kyA? dAdAzrI : avazya hI hogA na, blaDa rilezana huA na! to usase lAbha hogA hI na! praznakartA : Apake beTe-beTiyoM ko bhI? dAdAzrI : hA~, sabhI ko lAbha hogA lekina yadi saMyoga ulTe mila jAe~ to phira yoM lAbha dekara ulTe rAste para jA sakatA hai aura saMyoga sIdhe Ae~ to ucca kakSA meM pahu~ca sakatA hai| lAbha to avazya milatA hI hai| isIlie ve (narasiMha mehatA) likhate haiM na, 'kuLa ikotera tAryA re' (ikahatara pIr3hiyoM ko tAra diyaa)| aisA kahA hai na! naz2adIkI logoM ko lAbha milatA hai lekina yadi sahI upayoga kareMge taba... praznakartA : dAdA, dUsarA mujhe yaha jAnanA hai ki Apake mAtA-pitA the ve loga mokSa ke adhikArI to haiM hI, lekina hama se z2yAdA adhikArI haiM yA kama? dAdAzrI : usameM aisA kucha bhI nahIM hai| jo kare usake bApa kA (lAbha le jJAna kA, use khuda ko phaaydaa)| unheM unakA lAbha mila gyaa| vaha lAbha abhI kitane sAloM taka calegA, vaha nahIM kahA jA sktaa|

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jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) yadi saMyoga acche hoMge to ve Age bar3heMge, saMyoga ulTe hoMge to unheM ulTe rAste para bhI le jA sakate haiN| praznakartA : ulTe para bhI le jA sakate haiM dAdA? dAdAzrI : hA~! usameM kucha calegA hI nhiiN| koI pUchegA hI nahIM na! sirpha itanA hai ki unakI upasthiti meM janma huA isalie unake paramANu rahe hue haiM, una paramANuoM se lAbha hogaa| usameM kahIM kucha aisA likhakara nahIM diyA hai ki ye phAdara hamezA ke lie phAdara haiN| vahA~ para to nyAya arthAt nyaay| una paramANuoM se lAbha hogaa| phAdara-madara ne kitanA upakAra kiyA hai| usake badale meM phala mila hI jAegA na! aura AsapAsa ke kuTuMbIjanoM aura phaimilI ke sabhI logoM ko blaDa kA phAyadA hue bagaira rahegA nahIM na! ikahatara pIr3hiyoM ko tAra deM arthAt ve (kuTuMba vAle) isa prakAra se pAra utarate haiM lekina yadi saMyoga ulTe mila jAe~ to ve vApasa DUba bhI sakate haiN| ___ praznakartA : ThIka hai, lekina Apa unheM mokSa kA adhikArI banA sakate haiM na? dAdAzrI : nahIM-nahIM! aisA nahIM hai| vaha to saMyogoM ke milane se ho gayA isalie lAbha huaa| vahA~ para 'merA-terA' nahIM hai| yoM hI saMyoga mila Ate haiN| aisA mAno ki ye jo sajjana haiM, abhI-abhI sabhI bAhara se A rahe hoM aura ve kaheM ki 'bhAI! abhI rAta ke do baje haiM, abhI dAdA ke vahA~ nahIM jAnA caahie'| lekina ye kyA kahate haiM ki 'bhAI, dAdA mere gA~va ke haiM, maiM jaauuNgaa'| to unakA itanA adhikAra hai na! aisA lAbha milatA hai| to naz2adIkI logoM ko aisA lAbha milatA hai| jinake pAsa paramANu hote haiM na, una sabhI ko| ve yadi isakA pUrI taraha se lAbha uThA leMge to, tAra jor3a leMge to vaha unakA khuda kA, varnA yadi tAra nahIM rahegA to ve (paramANu) lAbha dekara cale jaaeNge| kuTuMba meM janma lene se nahIM paraMtu AjJA pAlana se mokSa hai hamArA eka bhatIjA kahatA thA, mujhase kahA 'dAdA aba to hama mokSa

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[1.1] parivAra kA paricaya meM jAe~ge hI na?' maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, aisA nahIM hai| Apa puruSArtha karoge to ho paaegaa| aisA nahIM hai ki dAdA se jJAna liyA aura dAdA ke kuTuMba meM janma lene se hI vaisA ho jaaegaa| Apake Upara kRpA z2yAdA rhegii| kRpA z2yAdA kyoM rahegI? kyoMki blaDa rilezana hai| jaldI hala A jaaegaa| lekina usakA ulTA artha nahIM lagAnA caahie| khuda ko AjJA kA pAlana to karanA hI pdd'egaa| aisA nahIM ho sakatA ki AjJA pAlana kie binA koI vyakti mokSa meM jA ske| sAta pIr3hiyoM se kisI ko 'sAlA' bananA acchA nahIM lagatA thA praznakartA : dAdA kI koI bahana nahIM hai? dAdAzrI : bahana bhI nahIM hai, buA bhI nahIM hai| pitA jI kI buA nahIM thIM, dAdA kI bhI buA nahIM thIM, unake dAdA kI bhI buA nahIM thiiN| sAta pIr3hiyoM se beTI hI nahIM thii| maiMne bacapana meM isa bAre meM jA~ca kI thI ki isakA kyA kAraNa hai ? to do pIr3hiyA~ dekha liiN| una sabhI pIr3hiyoM ko sAlA bananA acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| kisI ko bhI sAlA bananA acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| bahanoI bananA acchA lagatA thA lekina sAlA bananA acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| maiMne kahA, 'kahanA par3egA yaha to!' lekina yaha to hamArI pIr3hI meM paTeloM ke yahA~ dekhaa| merI sAta pIr3hiyoM meM koI bhI sAlA nahIM banA thA, aisI phaimilI kA iMsAna huuN| bApa dAdA bhI aisA kahate the, 'e sAle hone kI bAta nahIM caahie'| isalie kudaratI rUpa se sAlA nahIM bnaa| aisI tumAkhI vAlA ghara! sAlA hI nhiiN| inakI buA jI kA janma huA usa dina hamAre bujurgoM ne kahA, 'mara ge| isa ghara meM aba beTI paidA ho gii'| kisI ke sAle-vAle nahIM bane, aise haiM ye loga! phira pU~cha sIdhI rahegI yA Ter3hI? ekadama tteddh'ii| sAle ke rUpa meM apamAna hone para taya kiyA, nahIM cAhie 'bahana' mujhe bhI bacapana se hI sAlA bananA pasaMda nahIM thaa| koI aisA kahe ki hamAre sAle Ae haiM, to vaha marane jaisA lagatA thaa| sAle? ise

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jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) ghemarAjI (atyaMta ghamaMDI, jo khuda apane sAmane auroM ko bilkula tuccha mAne) kheNge| logoM ne kyA koI choTA pada diyA hai inheM ? logoM ne nahIM diyA hai, yaha pada to khuda ne mAna liyA hai| 12 isalie yaha cakkara acchA hI nahIM lagatA thA, mujhe to bilkula hI pasaMda nahIM thaa| mujhe to kisI janma meM kisI ne sAlA kahA hogA, usI vajaha se maiMne mokSa meM jAnA taya kiyA hogaa| sAlA kaha jAe ! sAle Ae ! kisI janma meM sAle ke rUpa meM hamArA apamAna huA hogA to kitane hI janmoM se bahana nahIM milI / sAlA kahA ki apamAna lagA ! Aja hamArI sAta pIr3hiyoM meM kisI ke yahA~ bahana nahIM hai / 'isa janma meM bahana nahIM cAhie,' vaha pUrva janma kI cir3ha hai, yaha pichale janma kA hai ! praznakartA : kyA isIlie ApakA janma vahA~ para huA hai ? dAdAzrI : vaha to cAhe kucha bhI ho lekina kucha to huA, kucha huA to sahI na! praznakartA : pichale janma kA ho tabhI ho sakatA hai na! dAdAzrI : isIlie bahana nahIM thI na, vaha bhI Azcarya hI hai na ! praznakartA : bhAI the ? dAdAzrI : hA~, Dhera sAre / samajha meM AyA galata ahaMkAra, z2Ahira kara dIM kamaz2oriyA~ praznakartA : kyA pApa hai sAlA banane meM, dAdA ? dAdAzrI : pApa nahIM hai / yaha to galata ahaMkAra hai, eka taraha kA / khuda ke sAle haiM aura khuda ko dUsaroM kA sAlA nahIM bananA hai / sAlA bananA koI gunAha hai ? yaha to na jAne kahA~ se aisA bhUta ghusa gayA thA, vahI samajha meM nahIM A rahA hai aura isa bhUta ko isa taraha kyoM saMbhAlakara rakhA hamAre bujurgoM ne vaha bhI mujhe samajha meM nahIM AtA / are! roz2a kamAkara

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[1.1] parivAra kA paricaya ___ 13 roz2a khAe~, aise log| yoM hI binA bAta ke khumArI (gaurava, garva, gurUra) bharate rahe! lekina una dinoM mujha meM khuda meM hI khumArI thI, mujhe acchA lagatA thaa| vyavahAra meM yaha cala hI nahIM sakatA na! hama usa rizte kI niMdA karane nahIM baiThe haiN| yaha to pichale janma kI hamArI kamaz2orI kA pradarzana hai| hama usakI niMdA nahIM kara skte| vyavahAra meM jo z2arUrI haiM, nesesiTI hai, kyA usakI niMdA honI cAhie? yaha to eka prakAra kI cir3ha, usa vajaha se aisA thaa| cir3ha ghusa cukI ho, tabhI na! koI bhI lAlaca nahIM, aisI g2az2aba kI khumArI praznakartA : to Apane bAta kI na, ki Apako khumArI bahuta acchI lagatI thii| dAdAzrI : hA~, khumArI bahuta acchI lagatI thii| koI paise Thaga jAe to koI harja nahIM, lekina mujhe khumArI dikhAe to basa, khuza! aisA hI inTaresTa thaa| hA~, khumArI ke sAmane paisA chor3a dete the| yadi khumArI mile to paisA chor3a dete the| praznakartA : to Apake bacapana kI aisI koI khumArI vAlI bAta ho to btaaiegaa| dAdAzrI : eka sanyAsI jaisA AyA thA, usane hamArI mA~ jI se kahA ki 'yaha puNyazAlI lar3akA hai, isake lie kucha vidhiyA~ karavAne kI z2arUrata hai| to isase bA ekadama gadgada ho gae ki 'merA beTA itanA puNyazAlI! vidhiyA~ karanI ho to karavA duuNgii'| isalie ve kharcA pUchane lgiiN| usane koI z2yAdA kharcA nahIM batAyA, sau-Der3ha sau rupae kharcA batAyA lekina una dinoM sau-Der3ha sau rupae kA matalaba abhI ke eka haz2Ara jaise| bIsa rupae kA sonA AtA thA taba to| isalie phira usa nanhIM umra meM maiMne bA se kahA, 'vidhiyA~ vagairaha mata krvaanaa'| lekina bA ne usase kaha diyA thA isalie vaha vApasa aayaa| taba maiMne kahA, 'Apa yahA~ para Ate ho na, lekina ApakA cakkara lagAnA bekAra jAegA kyoMki

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jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) maiM to rAma kI ciTThI lekara AyA hU~ isalie ApakI z2arUrata nahIM hai'| kisakI ciTThI lekara AyA hU~ ? praznakartA : rAma kI / 14 dAdAzrI : 'tU to nahIM lAyA hai na ciTThI aura mere pAsa rAma kI ciTThI hai! are, merI gAranTI dene vAlA tU kauna ? tujhe agara cAhie to maiM detA huuN| kyoMki tU lAlacI hai, maiM lAlacI nahIM huuN|' maiM bacapana se hI lAlacI nahIM huuN| itanA sA bhI lAlaca nahIM, kabhI bhI nhiiN| Apa yahA~ Akara sonA do phira bhI vaha hamAre kAma kA nahIM hai /

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[1.2] nirdoSa grAmya jIvana mA~ aMbA ke lAla, 'aMbAlAla' praznakartA : dAdA, ApakA nAma kaise par3A? dAdAzrI : merI mAtA jI (jhabera bA) ne mere lie mere janma se pahale ATha sAla taka ghI na khAne kA praNa liyA thA aura ve niraMtara aMbA mA~ kI bhakti karate the| usa para se merA nAma 'aMbAlAla' rkhaa| galagoTA jaisA zarIra isalie kahate the 'galo' praznakartA : dAdA ko galA kAkA kyoM kahate the? dAdAzrI : bacapana kA nAma hI galA bhAI thaa| galu se logoM ne galA kara diyA, phira galA kAkA kiyaa| usa nAma se pahacAne ge| muhalle meM loga aisA kahate the ki 'galA kAkA aae'| praznakartA : galo nAma par3A usa vakta ApakI kitanI umra hogI, dAdA? dAdAzrI : dasa sAla kaa| praznakartA : galA kA matalaba kyA hai dAdA? dAdAzrI : vaha to maz2Aka meM, AnaMda kA naam| galuDiyA (pille) nahIM kahate? jaba choTe hote haiM taba? praznakartA : hA~, haaN|

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16 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : vaha to aisA hai na, bacapana meM merA nAma vAstava meM galA bhAI nahIM thaa| galA bhAI nAma ke pIche to kAraNa hai| praznakartA : kyA kAraNa hai, dAdA? dAdAzrI : hamAre par3osa meM eka aMbAlAla bhAI rahate the, aMbAlAla motI bhAI krke| unakI vAipha kA nAma punI bA thaa| ve merI mAtA jI se z2arA dasa sAla hI choTI thiiN| to punI bA roz2a mujhe godI meM uThAkara apane ghara le jAtI thiiN| bA sthUlakAya thIM phira bhI mujhe le jAtI thiiN| ve gAla para hAtha pheratI thIM, khuza ho jAtI thiiN|| unheM pyAra AtA thA to bahuta acchA-acchA khilAtI thIM aura phira maiM apane ghara A jAtA thaa| bAda meM jaba phira se jAtA thA taba maiM bAhara se daravAz2A khaTakhaTAtA thA, aMdara paiseja jaisA thA, bAhara daravAjA khaTakhaTAnA par3atA thaa| 'kauna hai?' punI bA jaba aMdara se aisA pUchatIM taba maiM kahatA, 'maiM huuN'| ve vApasa pUchatI, 'kauna hai?' taba maiM aisA kahatA thA 'maiM aNbaalaal'| unake pati kA nAma bhI aMbAlAla thA, to ve kyA karatI thIM ki ve jaba roz2a bAhara se daravAz2A khaTakhaTAte the taba aMdara se punI bA pUchatI thIM, 'kauna AyA? kauna hai?' taba ve kahate the, 'maiM aNbaalaal'| isalie phira maiM unakI nakala karatA thA, 'maiM bhI aMbAlAla hU~ na!' taba ve kahatIM, 'AyA bar3A aMbAlAla! tU to mujhe ulajhana meM DAla detA hai na! tU aMbAlAla kahatA hai to phira mujhe to aisA hI lagatA hai na, ki mere pati Ae haiM!' phira bA se kahatI thIM, "yaha mujhe bahuta pyArA hai isalie isakA nAma 'galo' rsuuNgii|" galagoTe (geMde kA phUla) jaisA dikhAI detA thA, taba zarIra bahuta acchA thA! isalie ve 'galu, galu' kahakara bulAtI thiiN| isa taraha merA nAma 'galA' par3a gyaa| praznakartA : Apake sabhI mitra hameM batAte haiM ki bAhara 'gillI DaMDA khelane jAte the| phira papItA tor3akara lAte the aura gehU~ meM dabA dete the, aura bAda meM khAte the'| phira kahate haiM, 'dAdA yoM hAtha laMbA karate the to choTe-choTe cAra-pA~ca bacce yoM laTaka jAte the| itane maz2abUta the, daadaa| galakA (eka taraha kI laukI jaisI sabjI-spaMja laukI) jaise the isalie galA kAkA kahate the|

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[1.2] nirdoSa grAmya jIvana vaha to jaba maiMne jhabera bA se pUchA ki 'dAdA jaba choTe the taba kaise dikhAI dete the?' taba mujhe batAyA ki galagoTe (geMde) jaise the isalie galo nAma rakhA thaa| dAdAzrI : use miTAte-miTAte to bahuta sAla lge| aba loga 'aMbAlAla' kahakara bulAte haiN| dasa sAla taka kI umra phira bhI rahate the digaMbarI hamAre muhalle meM sabhI dasa-gyAraha sAla ke bacce digaMbarI hI rahate the| ve jaba nahAne jAte the taba sabhI kapar3e nikAlakara hI jAte the tAki kapar3e bhIge nhiiN| praznakartA : digaMbara? dAdAzrI : hamArA to vaiSNava dharma meM janma huA thA na, isalie zvetAMbara-sthAnakavAsI yA bAkI sabhI saMpradAyoM ke bAre meM hamane bacapana se kucha bhI nahIM sunA thA lekina digaMbara zabda zurU se hI sunA thaa| kyoMki usa z2amAne meM choTe baccoM ko kapar3e pahanAne kA, caDDI pahanAne kA sisTama nahIM thaa| usa z2amAne meM choTe baccoM ko kapaDe nahIM pahanAte the| kapar3oM kI bahuta kamI thI isalie kapar3e nahIM pahanAte the yoM hI digaMbara ghUmate rahate the| dUdha pIte bacce the taba se lekara dasa sAla kI umra taka to naMge hI ghUme the aura loga bhI digaMbarI kahate the| kahate the, 'digaMbarI aayaa| ___punI bA kyA kahatI thIM? 'lo, vaha digaMbara vApasa A gayA!' maiMne kahA, 'digaMbara kyoM kahatI haiM ?' aba, digaMbarI sAdhu isa taraha ghUmate haiM isalie digaMbarI hI kaheMge na ! hA~, to digaMbara banakara ghUmate rahate the bcce| isalie yadi koI strI jarA tez2a ho to ve kahatI thIM, 'are bhAI, yaha digaMbara kI taraha ghUmatA rahatA hai| are! garamI lagatI hai kyA tujhe?' aisA kahatI thiiN| phira bhI vaha baccA ghara Akara kapar3e nikAla hI detA thA aura muhalle meM ghUmane calA jAtA thaa| aba inheM kyA kaheM?

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18 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA : gA~va ke rIti-rivAja the na, ve! aura dAdA, pahale ke samaya meM to aisA thA ki laMbI kamIz2a pahanA dete the na, to phira caDDI pahanane kI z2arUrata nahIM par3atI thii| dAdAzrI : lekina ve bacce the hI aise, ghara Akara sabhI kapar3e nikAla dete the| jaise use bahuta garamI laga rahI ho! aura usa ghar3I mA~ kahatI bhI thIM, 'are, digaMbara! kapar3e phn'| to taba se sunA huA hai| digaMbara kahanA nahIM AtA thA isalie phira, kahate the 'degaMbara jaisA hU~, degaMbara jaisA huuN| maiM socatA thA 'yaha digaMbara kyA hai ?' sunA isalie socatA thA ki digaMbara kyA hai? digaMbara kA artha kyA hai? dizA rUpI kpdd'e| do zabdoM kI saMdhi hai, 'dik-aNbr'| dik yAnI dizA meM se dik bnaa| aMbara yAnI vstr| dizAe~ jinakA vastra haiM, aise digNbrii| digaMbara arthAt bhAna hI nahIM thA viSaya kA praznakartA : Ajakala to bacapana se hI kapar3e pahanAne kI prathA hai| dAdAzrI : kapar3e pahanate haiM na, to bhAna meM A jAte haiM log| Ajakala to ekAdha sAla ke bacce ko bhI kapar3e pahanAte haiN| yAnI ki bhAna meM A gyaa| pahale kapar3e hI nahIM pahanAte the na, to bhAna hI kahA~ se rahatA? isalie viSaya kA vicAra hI nahIM AtA thA to phira koI jhaMjhaTa hI nhiiN| viSaya kI itanI eDavAnsa jAgRti hI nahIM thii| praznakartA : yAnI ki eka prakAra se samAja kA aisA prezara thaa| aisA huA na? dAdAzrI : nahIM! samAja kA prezara nahIM, mA~-bApa kA jhukAva, saMskAra! tIna sAla kA baccA yaha nahIM janatA thA ki mA~-bApa ke bhI aise kucha saMbaMdha haiM! itanI suMdara siikresii| jaba aisA kucha hotA thA taba bacce dUsare rUma meM sote the| aise the mA~-bApa ke saMskAra! Ajakala to idhara beDarUma aura udhara beddruum| eka tarapha mA~ ko baccA hotA hai aura

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[1.2] nirdoSa grAmya jIvana 19 dUsarI tarapha bahU ko bhI baccA hotA hai| z2amAnA badala gayA hai na! beDarUma, DabalabeDa hote haiM na? praznakartA : hA~, ddblbedd| dAdAzrI : aura una dinoM koI puruSa eka hI bistara para apanI patnI ke sAtha nahIM sotA thaa| una dinoM to eka kahAvata thI ki jo puruSa pUrI rAta strI ke sAtha sotA hai, vaha strI jaisA bana jAtA hai| usa para strI paryAya kA asara ho jAtA hai isalie koI aisA nahIM karatA thaa| yaha to kauna jAne kisI akla vAle ne khoja kI, to DabalabeDa bikate hI jA rahe haiN| hamAre samaya meM z2amAnA bilkula rasTika (grAmya) thaa| kahalAtA thA rasTika lekina the ekadama suNdr| nau-dasa sAla kI umra taka kapar3e nahIM pahanate the lekina yoM suMdara, yoM ceharA dekho to bahuta hI suNdr| jabaki Ajakala bacce itane suMdara nahIM dekhe haiN| Aja ke bacce suMdara haiM hI kahA~? usa samaya gA~va kI sabhI lar3akiyA~ bahana jaisI Aja ke baccoM kI apekSA hamAre samaya meM kudaratI rUpa se kauna sA guNa acchA thA? to vaha yaha ki 'aThAraha sAla kI umra hone para bhI gA~va kI lar3akiyoM para dRSTi nahIM bigAr3ate the', hama meM vaha guNa thaa| lar3akiyoM kI tarapha dRSTi hI nahIM DAlate the| lar3akiyoM ke sAtha khelate z2arUra the lekina aisA koI vicAra nahIM, usakA kyA kAraNa thA? dasagyAraha sAla taka to digaMbara ghUmate the isalie bhAna hI nahIM thA isa dizA kaa| digaMbara kA matalaba samajhe? praznakartA : hA~, hA~, samajha meM A gyaa| dAdAzrI : to phira dUsare loga hama se kahate the ki 'bhAI gA~va kI lar3akiyA~ to bahana samAna haiN| bahana arthAt to usa saMbaMdha ke bAre meM

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jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) bahuta z2yAdA samajha aura Ajakala ke lar3ake to bahana ko patnI banA dete haiM, dera hI nahIM lagatI / hama caudaha-paMdraha sAla ke hue na, taba taka lar3akiyoM ko dekhane para bahana kahate the / phira vaha cAhe koI bhI ho, bahuta dUra kI ho, phira bhI / bhagavAna jAne vaha kaisA vAtAvaraNa thA, cAhe jo bhI ho| 20 dhanya hai usa bhadra vicAra vAlI prajA ko aba, una dinoM kaliyuga vAlI dRSTi kharAba nahIM thI / kharAba vicAra hI nahIM the kisI bhI prakAra ke, kitanA suMdara ! viSaya se saMbaMdhita vicAra hI nahIM kisI prakAra kA, bhole the becAre, bhadra loga / usa samaya maiMne aisA kabhI nahIM sunA ki bhAdaraNa gA~va kI kisI lar3akI ke sAmane kisI ne kharAba dRSTi DAlI ho to dhanya hai na, usa prajA ko ! praznakartA: dAdA, hamAre chaH gA~voM meM zurU se hI rivAja hai ki saba eka bApa kI prajA haiM ? dAdAzrI : hA~, eka bApa kI prajA / praznakartA : apane gA~va meM aisA thA isalie jo kucha bhI khAnadAniyata raha gaI hai, vaha usI vajaha se haiM / chaH gA~va meM aisA jo bacA hai, usakA kAraNa vahI hai / dAdAzrI : bilkula bhI, koI kisI bhI lar3akI kA nAma nahIM letA thaa| praznakartA : kyoMki zurU se hI aisA rivAja thA ki hameM apane gA~va meM zAdI nahIM karanI hai kyoMki eka hI bApa kI prajA haiM isalie gA~va kI lar3akiyoM para dRSTi nahIM bigAr3anI cAhie / dAdAzrI : zAdI karane kI to bAta hI kahA~, soca bhI nahIM sakate the, dRSTi hI nahIM DAlate the| sirpha bahana hii| praznakartA : bahana hI, vahI vicAra the na, itanA pakkA vicAra isalie usakA koI asara hI nahIM hotA thA na !

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[1.2] nirdoSa grAmya jIvana dAdAzrI : to phira naMge ghUmate the, usakA guNA aura inheM bahana kI taraha dekhate the, usakA guNA kareM to yaha kaisA kahalAegA? naMge ghUmate the usa hisAba se rasTika kahalAte the, lekina bahana kI taraha mAnA, vaha? praznakartA : hA~, to usakA bahuta bar3A jamA ho gayA na, daadaa| dAdAzrI : milAna to karanA par3atA hai na! varnA phira kaisA lagegA? praznakartA : usa samaya vAlI samajha zakti kA AdhAra thaa| atyaMta nirdoSatA bharA grAmya jIvana praznakartA : itanA nirdoSa grAmya jIvana? dAdAzrI : bar3audA zahara bhI nahIM dekhA thA logoM ne| Ajakala ke jo saMDAsa haiM na, vaisA saMDAsa dekhA hotA na, to mana meM kitanA maz2A A jAtA ki 'yaha kyA hai| aisA khte| koI batAe, 'yahA~ para saMDAsa!' 'nahIM, aisA mata kahanA, aisA nahIM khte'| devI-devatA kI jagaha samajhate the| usa samaya aisI samajha thii| DevelapamenTa nahIM thA na kucha bhI! gA~va ke hAI skUla the| una dinoM aisA kucha dekhA nahIM thA na! kitane hI logoM ne to una dinoM Trena bhI nahIM dekhI thii| hamAre yahA~ choTI gAr3I AI thI, bar3I gAr3I nahIM dekhI thii| choTI gAr3I ke iMjana dekhe the| hamAre gA~va ke AsapAsa jo the na, to hama logoM ne relave kA iMjana hI pahalI bAra dekhA thA, paMdraha sAla ke hue tb| iMjana hI pahalI bAra dekhA thaa| yaha kitanA bar3A hai, kahA thA! yaha pUrI gAr3I ko le jAtA hai, use khIMca sakatA hai| praznakartA : hAthI se bhI bar3A hai, aisA kahate the| dAdAzrI : hAthI bhI nahIM dekhA thA na, bhAI! jisane hAthI dekhA hotA use jhaMjhaTa hai na! aisI atyaMta nirdoSatA, kucha bhI dekhA hI nahIM thA na!

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22 jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) praznakartA : hA~, kucha bhI nahIM dekhA thA / dAdAzrI : kyoMki nanihAla thA dharmaja, to gAr3I meM nahIM jAte the| karamasada meM nanihAla thA to vahA~ para bhI gAr3I meM nahIM jAte the| agara naDiyAda meM hotA to jaate| aisA dekhA hI nahIM thA na praznakartA : to jaba gA~va vAle pahalI bAra zahara dekhate hoMge to Azcarya cakita hI raha jAte hoMge na ? dAdAzrI : vaha to aisA huA ki maiM maiTrika kI parIkSA dene bar3audA gayA thaa| usa samaya taba hamAre sAtha eka brAhmaNa thA, aMbAlAla mUlajI bhAI krke| praznakartA : usakA nAma bhI aMbAlAla mUlajI bhAI ? dAdAzrI : haaN| usakA naMbara haoNla meM lagA thA / taba phira usane mujhase kahA ki 'ApakA naMbara haoNla meM hai aura merA usa jagaha para hai'| taba maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, haoNla meM terA hai| tU dekhakara A' / to vaha becArA samajha gayA ki usakA naMbara haoNla meM hai / isalie phira jaba vaha haoNla meM gayA na, to haoNla meM jAne para use kyA lagA ? yaha haoNla kitanA U~cA hai, vaha dekhA / phira jala gumbaja vagairaha dekhe na, to vahIM para usakA dila baiTha gyaa| aisA usane dekhA hI nahIM thA becAre ne / itanA bar3A gumbaja ! vaha usakI kalpanA se bAhara thA aura usakI ekAdha nasa khiMca gaI, hN| praznakartA : nasa khiMca gaI ? dAdAzrI : vaha becArA ghanacakkara jaisA ho gayA ! bAhara nikalane ke bAda use ghara bhejanA pdd'aa| aura hA~ ! usakA dimAg2a khisaka gayA thaa| praznakartA: khisaka gayA ! dAdAzrI : parIkSA nahIM de pAyA thA becArA / dekho na, na jAne kahA~ T

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[12] nirdoSa grAmya jIvana se vahA~ naMbara lgaa| aisA to usane kucha dekhA hI nahIM thA na ! duniyA hI nahIM dekhI thI na ! 23 praznakartA : to phira jJAnI aMbAlAla, vApasa kabhI una aMbAlAla se mile the, dAdA ? phira kabhI Apa unase mile the ? dAdAzrI : nahIM! lekina bAda meM usakI phira se parIkSA lI gaI thii| usakI prAiveTa parIkSA lI gaI aura phira usakA ThIka ho gayA /

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[1.3] bacapana se hI ucca vyavahArika sUjha dimAg2a car3ha jAtA thA 'sAta samoliyo' sunakara mujhe to eka dUsarA upanAma bhI diyA gayA thaa| jAnate ho, loga bacapana meM mujhe kyA kahate the? pATIdAroM ne eka nAma rakhA thA ki "ina saba lar3akoM meM se yaha lar3akA 'sAta samoliyo' hai|" yaha purAne jamAne kI bAta kara rahA huuN| Ajakala ina zabdoM kA upayoga nahIM hotaa| Apane nahIM sunA hai 'sAta samoliyo' ? praznakartA : 'sAta samoliyoM' kA artha kyA hai, dAdA? dAdAzrI : hA~, yAnI ki jaba baila ko jutAI ke lie le jAte the na, taba samola (khUTI) DAlate the| usameM do bailoM ke sira DAlane hote haiM na? praznakartA : ThIka hai, samola, ve jo hala meM Ate haiN| dAdAzrI : to mujhe 'sAta samoliyo' kahate the| taba phira unhIM cAcA jI se maiM pUchane jAtA thA ki 'sAta samoliyoM' kA matalaba kyA hai? to una cAcA jI ne mujhe samajhAyA ki 'dekho, yaha jo baila hotA hai na, use khetI-bAr3I ke lie hala meM jotate haiN| taba phira vaha khetI vAlI z2amIna kI jutAI karatA hai, lekina yadi ku~ve se pAnI khIMcanA ho to, khura paTakakara haMkAratA hai aura zAyada do-cAra-pA~ca hala bhI khIMca letA hai lekina sAtavIM jota cakkI khIMcane kI hai, vaha to usase ho hI nahIM paataa| jo baila ye sabhI kArya kara letA hai use 'sAta samoliyo' kahate haiM, to koI-koI baila hI aisA hotA hai| ataH 'sAta samoliyo' iMsAna sabhI prakAra ke kAma kara sakatA hai|

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[1.3] bacapana se hI ucca vyavahArika sUjha 4 I sAta samoliyo' arthAt aisA iMsAna jo hara cIz2a meM eksaparTa ho aura 'maiM' apane Apako samajha gayA thA ki sahI kaha rahe haiM ye loga isalie phira merA dimAg2a car3ha jAtA thA ki 'ohoho, apanA rauba bar3ha gayA!' to logoM ne mujhe (mAna kA) pAnI pilAyA thaa| maiM mana meM khuza hotA thA ki 'ohoho, mujha meM itanI zakti hai'| maiM samajhatA thA ki 'mujha meM kucha hai' isa nAma se merA rauba par3atA hai, 'sAta samoliyo' kahakara / 25 zAyada hI koI hotA hai sAta samoliyo I jise samola kahate haiM na, vaha eka taraha kI samola nahIM hai alaga-alaga hotI haiM, ku~ve khodane kI alaga, cakkI khIMcane kI alaga, isa taraha se sAta samola haiM baila ke lie| jo sAta samola vAlA baila hotA hai to loga usake pUre paise dete haiN| I yAnI jotane ke lie bhI baila ko samola DAlI jA sakatI hai phira isa taraha jaba rahaTa se pAnI nikAlanA ho taba bhI samola DAla sakate haiN| vaha do samoliyo vAlA kahalAtA hai / jutAI kara sakatA hai aura rahaTa bhI khIMca sakatA hai| vaha do samola DAla sakatA hai| aisI sAta taraha kI samola hotI haiN| aura phira sAtavIM samola kauna sI ? saba se aMtima, bahuta muzkila ! A~khoM para paTTI bA~dha dete haiM aura phira ghAnI meM se tela nikalavAte haiN| to ghAnI meM tela pIlane ke lie baila ko lAte haiM na ? to use dasta hote rahate haiN| nahIM kara pAtA vaha / agara kolhU meM jotA jAe na, to eka cakkara lagAkara phira baiTha jAtA hai muA / taba phira loga kahate haiM ki 'bhAI, yaha baila nahIM cAhie mujhe ' / aba sabhI baila ' sAta samoliyo' to nahIM hote / sau bailoM meM se eka do baila hI 'sAta samoliyo' hote haiM isalie sAta samoliyA kI kImata jyAdA hotI hai / sAta samoliyo isIlie nahIM ho pAI ekAgratA par3hAI meM usa samaya meM eka hI cIz2a kI kImata thI ki sAta samoliyo hai

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26 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) yA nahIM? koI pA~ca samoliyo, koI cAra samoliyo lekina samola vAle hote the| ye sabhI par3he-likhe loga to eka samoliyA haiN| praznakartA : vaha z2arA z2yAdA samajhAie, daadaa| dAdAzrI : ye eka yA do samola vAle hI pAsa hote haiM, sAta samola vAlA pAsa nahIM hotaa| yaha to, maiM jaise-taise karake pAsa ho jAtA thaa| mAsTara jI ko DarA-dhamakAkara, kucha bhI krke| Apane skUla meM par3hAI kI to vaha eka hI lAina, vana kornara ! itane bar3e rAunDa meM se sirpha eka hI paoNinTa dikhAI detA hai to usameM pAsa ho hI jAtA hai| mere jaisA pAsa nahIM ho sakatA skUla meN| ekAgratA nahIM rahatI na! 'sAta samoliyoM ko sabhI tarapha kA socanA hotA hai to unase par3hAI nahIM ho paatii| praznakartA : use isameM ekAgratA nahIM A paatii| dAdAzrI : maiM maiTrika meM phela huA thA na, to mujhe kisa AdhAra para saMtoSa thA ki 'bhAI, mujhe kyoM nahIM AyA?' kyoMki sAta samola haiM, 'sAta smoliyoN'| zAyada hI koI iMsAna 'sAta samoliyoM' hotA hai, jo saba jhela ske| mere sAtha kucha cAlIsa-pacAsa sAla ke loga khar3e hoM na, aura maiM bAraha sAla kI umra vAlA, taba bhI kahate the 'yaha lar3akA kitanA vicakSaNa hai'| ApakI bAta sunakara maiM samajha sakatA thA ki Apa AmanesAmane kyA kaha rahe ho, par3hAI nahIM AtI thI kucha bhii| par3hatA hI nahIM thA na! praikTikala the aura dhyAna rakhate the hara tarapha kA praznakartA : dAdA, aise bhI loga dekhe haiM jo par3hAI kI kitAbeM par3hate haiM, pahale naMbara se pAsa hote haiM aura jaba praikTikala lAipha meM Ate haiM, taba vahA~ para kucha bhI nahIM hotA, khatma hI ho jAtA hai sb| dAdAzrI : unameM namaka bhI nahIM hotA, z2arA sA bhI namaka nahIM hotA, unmeN| 'sAta samoliyA' meM z2yAdA namaka hotA hai| sAta samoliyA

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[1.3] bacapana se hI ucca vyavahArika sUjha to ghara meM rahakara paDhatA hai, taba bhI aMdara hisAba lagAtA rahatA hai ki apanI AmadanI kitanI hai ? kharcA kitanA hai? mA~-bApa para kitanA bhAra par3a rahA hogA, aisA sArA hisAba usake pAsa rahatA hai aura kitAbeM zurU se hI kama lAtA hai tAki mA~-bApa para bhAra na pdd'e| jabaki eka samola vAle meM hai koI aisI sUjha? mujhe sAta samoliyo kahate the| yaha batAnA nahIM cAhie phira bhI maiMne abhI batA diyaa| sAta samoliyo par3hAI karatA jAtA hai aura ye sAre kAma bhI karatA hai| mA~-bApa kI sevA bhI karatA jAtA hai| vaha sirpha eka hI prakAra kA kAma nahIM karatA, aMdara hara eka prakAra kA dhyAna rakhatA hai| ghara meM mA~-bApa kI sthiti kyA hai, paisA kisa taraha se AtA hai, kahA~ jA rahA hai, kahA~ para nukasAna ho rahA hai, mA~-bApa ko kyA parezAnI ho rahI hogI, vaha sabhI usake dhyAna meM rahatA hai| jabaki yahA~ (eka samUla vAle ko) to mA~-bApa kahate haiM, 'are! z2arA itanA to soca, merI tabiyata narama hai'| to kahatA hai, 'maiM skUla jAU~ yA Apake bAre meM socuuN'| aura sAta samoliyA to isI soca meM rahatA hai ki skUla se jaldI ghara Akara vApasa ghusa jAU~ sevA meN| aura Ajakala ke lar3ake to aisI sevAe~ hI kahA~ karate haiM? unheM bAkI aura kucha nahIM hai lekina niMdA yogya nahIM haiN| ye bacce acche haiN| inakI vajaha se to apanA pIr3hiyA~ sudhara jaaeNgii| inakI kokha se aba devatA janma leMge! bhale hI ye koyale haiM lekina aba devatA janma leNge| mu~ha para unheM koyalA mata khnaa| z2arUrata hai do zAMta pIr3hiyoM kI, bilkula shaaNt| Aja ke bacce haiM sirpha par3hAI meM, vyavahArika sUjha meM nahIM mujhe eka vyakti kaha rahA thA, 'Apake samaya meM loga maiTrika pAsa hote the aura Aja ke bacce to ekadama se ela.ela.bI bana jAte haiN| praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : maiMne kahA, 'hameM nahIM AyA, vaha alaga cIz2a hai aura ye bacce ela.ela.bI hue, vaha bhI alaga cIz2a hai'| Aja ke baccoM ko

Page #93
28 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) kyA hai ki unheM jo mArga batAyA, usI mArga para bhAgadaur3a, AsapAsa kucha bhI dekhanA-karanA nahIM hotaa| do-cAra pratizata kucha aise brilyanTa hote bhI haiM lekina dUsarA kAphI kucha bhAga to, sAmAnya kakSA ke 95 pratizata loga to aise hI haiM AsapAsa nahIM dekhate, par3hate hI rahate haiM, bs| phira aisA saba nahIM dekhate ki mA~-bApa ko kyA hotA hai, unheM kyA takalIpha hai| mA~-bApa kaise kamAte haiM, khAte haiM? aisA kucha nahIM socate ki paisA kahA~ se AtA hai| ve to aisA samajhate haiM ki jaise nala meM se A rahA hai| nala kholate hI paise A jaaeNge| ataH yaha to acchA hai ki kudaratI rUpa se aise bacce paidA hue| aba jAkara hindustAna kA bhalA hogaa| sirpha par3hate rahane kI hI niiyt| vediyo', apane yahA~ 'vediyo' zabda kahate haiM na, aMdara? praznakartA : hA~ hA~! bukvoNrm| kitAbI kiidd'aa| dAdAzrI : nahIM! bukavaoNrma alaga hai aura vediyA alg| vediyA arthAt kyA? jisa eka kAma ko pakar3A, to usI meM rahatA hai aura bukavaoNrma kA matalaba buka meM hI rahatA hai| are, yaha vediyo to sabhI meM vediyo hotA hai jabaki jagat kyA mA~gatA hai ? sAta samoliyo mA~gatA hai, vediyA nhiiN| evarI DAirekzana vAlA (sabhI dizAoM vAlA) mA~gate haiN| sabhI DAirekzana meM jAgRti kI z2arUrata hai to purAne jamAne ke logoM ko par3hanA nahIM AtA thaa| Apake-mere samaya meM par3hAI karanA nahIM AtA thA, bahuta kama loga pAsa hote the aura Aja cAhe kisI ke bhI bacce hoM, cAhe kisI bhI jAti ke bacce grejyueTa bana jAte haiM, DaoNkTara bana jAte haiN| phira mujhe eka vyakti ne pUchA thA, 'kyA ye bacce hoziyAra haiM ? yaha z2amAnA kaisA hai!' taba maiMne kahA, 'kyA tU aisA kaha rahA hai ki pahale bevakUpha the? aura unameM se hama bhI haiM? Aja ke bacce hoziyAra haiM ? hama nApAsa ho gae to kyA hama bevakUpha haiM ?' Ajakala ke baccoM ko koI bhAna hI nahIM hai| eka hI cIz2a hai ki 'par3hanA hai, par3hanA hai aura basa par3hanA hai| vyavahArika jJAna to samajhA hI nahIM hai| ve sirpha par3hate hI haiM, vyavahArika sUjha nahIM hai unameM aura apane samaya meM to vyavahArika sUjha aura par3hAI donoM sAtha meM cala rahA thaa| vyavahArika sUjha kI jyAdA kImata thI balki!

Page #94
[1.3] bacapana se hI ucca vyavahArika sUjha aura abhI to par3hAI, vaha bhI sirpha eka hI lAina meM phira to vaha A hI jAegA na ! aura kyA karanA hai usameM ? 29 cAra sAla kI umra taka kA sabakucha yAda praznakartA : apane bacapana kI aisI koI dUsarI bAta batAie na ! dAdAzrI : cAra sAla kI umra meM maiM kho gayA thA borasada meN| to abhI bhI mujhe yAda hai ki usa sthiti meM mujhe kaisA lagA thA aura kaisA nahIM ! hamAre bar3e bhAI maNi bhAI mujhe ghor3e para Age baiThAkara mujhe borasada le gae the| vahA~ para eka jAna-pahacAna vAle dukAnadAra ke yahA~ mujhe baiThA diyA aura phira maNi bhAI apane kAma ke lie nikala ge| dukAnadAra ke yahA~ kitanI dera taka acchA lagatA? eka-do goliyA~ dIM, jaba taka ve calIM taba taka acchA lagA, phira to maiM bAhara nikala par3A, khelane / dukAnadAra ne jo goliyA~ dI thIM ve abhI bhI mujhe dikhAI detI haiM ki ve goliyA~ kaisI thIM! bahuta dera bAda bhI jaba maNi bhAI ko nahIM dekhA, koI jAna-pahacAna vAlA nahIM dikhAI diyA, taba maiM rone lagA / taba phira loga ikaTThe ho gae aura phira pulisa vAle mujhe pulisa geTa para le ge| phira vahA~ se logoM ko khabara pahu~cAI ki kisI kA baccA kho gayA hai / to aise karate-karate hamAre bar3e bhAI mujhe vApasa lene aae| vaha saba abhI bhI yAda hai, cAra sAla kI umra thI taba / mohI jIva to bhUla jAtA hai praznakartA : dAdA itanA purAnA ! cAra sAla ke the taba kA Apako sabakucha yAda hai! dAdAzrI : jJAna se pahale, jaba maiM pA~ca sAla kA thA, taba taka kA maiM Apako yAdadAzta ke bala para batA sakatA hU~ ki eka dina aisA huA thA aura eka dina aisA huA thA lekina phira usake bAda hama vItarAga

Page #95
30 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) ho ge| ataH aba sabakucha bhUla ge| abhI bhI yadi aMdara upayoga rakheM to dikhAI degA ki pA~ca sAla kI umra meM aisA huA thaa| praznakartA : hamAre jaise logoM meM to upayoga nahIM rahatA lekina Apako to bahuta acchA dikhAI detA hai, sApha-sApha dikhAI detA hai! dAdAzrI : sabhI ko yAda nahIM rahatA yaha saba, kyoMki mohI jIva haiM na! rone ke samaya para rote haiM aura phira ha~sane ke TAima para ha~sate bhI haiN| are! kyA huA? abhI tIna ghaMTe pahale to ro rahA thA aura vApasa abhI ha~sa rahA hai ? purAnA bhUla jAtA hai phira, vApasa yaha nayA ha~sanA, ise sAhajika kahate haiN| maz2Aka ko mAna liyA saca praznakartA : isa taraha khoe jAne kI bAta to pahalI bAra hI jaanii| aisI koI anya ghaTanA huI ho to btaaie| dAdAzrI : yaha bhAI hai na, unake pitA jI zAdI karane naDiyAda gae the| vaha ratha thA yA baila gAr3I thI, to TheTha naDiyAda tk| mujhe usameM baiThA diyaa| bAkI saba loga mujhase bAraha-teraha sAla bar3e hoMge to phira rAste meM unhoMne aisA kahA ki 'yaha hamArA bhAI hai aMbAlAla, isane eka lar3akI se zAdI kara rakhI hai,' isa taraha cir3hAyA aura maz2Aka kii| maiM to cupacApa vahA~ se uThakara calA gyaa| are! ye zAdI karavA deMge to? to kyA hogA? mujhe abhI bhI yAda hai, una dinoM nau-dasa sAla kA thaa| jAte samaya, yadi merI zAdI karavA deMge to kyA hogA? ye loga bIca meM aisI bAteM kyoM kara rahe haiM? praznakartA : una dinoM to zAdI taya kara dete the, daadaa| dAdAzrI : hA~! ki isa gA~va meM kisa-kisa kI lar3akiyA~ haiM, naDiyAda meM, ve rAste meM hI riztA pakkA kara lete the| maz2Aka meM ha~se the lekina mujhe vaha saca lgaa| agara ye loga merI zAdI karAvA deMge to kyA hogA? isalie phira vahA~ se uThakara calA gayA, dUsarI baila gAr3I meN|

Page #96
[1.4] khela kUda sabhI logoM jaise hI nirdoSa khela kUda aura mastI praznakartA: dAdA Apake una zaMkara bhAI ne hameM tarasAlI meM vaha rUma dikhAyA thA, jahA~ ApakA janma huA thA, taba ve batA rahe the ki dAdA jaba choTe the, taba yaha cAradIvArI kUdakara cale jAte the | dAdAzrI : vaha to baccoM ke sAtha mastI karate the I praznakartA : unhoMne aisA batAyA thA ki vaha jo tAlAba hai na, vahA~ para jaba bhaiMseM nahAtI thIM na, to bhaiMseM jaba tAlAba meM baiThI hotI thIM na, taira rahI hotI thIM na, to dAdA una para baiTha jAte the, bhaiMsa para baiThakara khelate the aura isa taraha tAlAba meM tairate the| 1 dAdAzrI : aisA lagatA thA jaise hAthI para baiThe hoM ! gA~va meM sabhI bacce aisA karate the na... praznakartA: hamAre jaisA hI karate the gA~va meM ? dAdAzrI : vaisA hI, vaisA hI / eka bAra to jaba maiM dasa - gyAraha sAla kA thA, usa samaya mAmA ne kahA ki 'bhAI, tU thaka jAegA' to mujhe bhaiMsa para baiThA diyA aura mere paira pakar3akara sAtha-sAtha cale / the ? ve khuda bhA~je the isalie mAnate the devatA jaisA praznakartA: dAdA, kyA Apa kabhI bhaiMsa lekara tAlAba para jAte

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32 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : nahIM! maiM nahIM gayA thaa| isa taraha to kabhI-kabhI hI jAnA hotA thA, roz2a nahIM jAnA hotA thaa| bhA~jA thA na! bhA~je kI iz2z2ata karate the| praznakartA : hA~, bhA~je-bhA~jiyoM ko bahuta saMbhAlate haiN| dAdAzrI : hama vahA~ devatA jaise mAne jAte the| vahA~ gA~va meM to sabhI hameM devatA mAnate the| bhA~joM-vA~joM sabhI ko devatA mAnate the| bar3Abar3A daheja diyA huA hotA thA isalie unheM to deva mAnate the, isalie hama aisA halkA kArya nahIM kara sakate the| unheM chU bhI nahIM sakate the aura ve chUne bhI nahIM dete| itanA choTA sA thA phira bhI bar3e loga bhA~je jI, bhA~je jI kI taraha rakhate the| apamAna to maiMne jiMdagI meM kabhI dekhA hI nahIM thA, kisI bhI jagaha pr| hamAre gA~va meM bhI nahIM dekhA thA aura bAhara bhI nahIM dekhA thaa| makara saMkrAMti vAstava meM sUrya ko dekhane ke lie praznakartA : sabhI choTe bacce jisa taraha ke khela khelate haiM, Apa bhI vaise hI khela khelate the? dAdAzrI : bacapana meM eka dosta AyA thaa| usane pataMga ur3AI aura maiMne pUchA ki 'isase kyA phAyadA hotA hai ? ur3Ane meM kyA phAyadA hai ?' usane kahA 'isameM to bahuta maz2A AtA hai'| taba maiMne kahA, 'are, lekina usameM to phira hAtha aise-aise karanA par3atA hai na!' taba maiM use dekhatA rahA phira, 'nIce Thokara laga rahI hai yA nahIM, vaha nahIM dekhate the aura basa bhAga-daur3a karate rahate the'| maiMne kahA, 'yaha vyApAra mujhe nahIM pusaaegaa| mujhe aghaTita vyApAra kI z2arUrata nahIM hai, tU kara bhaaii'| jaba maiM choTA thA taba loga pataMga ur3Ate the aura maiM dostoM ke sAtha baiThakara dekhatA thaa| taba dosta kahate the ki 'tIna sAla ho gae kabhI tuma pataMga aura DorI lAe kyA?' taba maiMne kahA, 'mere pAsa paise haiM, tujhe z2arUrata ho to lA detA huuN| yoM Upara dekhate rahanA aura Thumake lagAnA merA kAma nahIM hai|

Page #98
[1.4] khela kUda 33 ata: maiM kabhI bhI apanI jiMdagI meM pataMga kharIdakara nahIM laayaa| ye loga jaba DorI pakar3ate haiM, taba hAtha kaTa jAte haiM to kahate haiM, 'dekho mere hAtha kaise ho gae haiM !' 'to maiM kyA karU~? tuma ur3Ate ho aura maiM dekhatA huuN'| kImata to dekhane kI hai! ur3Ane vAle to, jo mUrkha loga hote haiM, ve ur3Ate haiN| unameM samajha nahIM hone kI vajaha se aisA saba calatA rahatA hai| praznakartA : vaha samajha meM nahIM AyA ki 'dekhane kI kImata hai', vaha kisa prakAra se? dAdAzrI : pataMga ko dekhate haiM na, to hamArI A~khoM se sUryanArAyaNa bhI kucha-kucha dikhAI dete haiN| usase bahuta uttama phala milatA hai, isa makara saMkrAMti ke TAima pr| yaha sUrya ko dekhane ke lie hI hai, yaha pataMga ur3Ane ke lie nahIM hai| ur3AnA ho to cAhe kaise bhI bA~dha do aura agara zakti hogI to vaha Upara jAtI rahegI apane Apa hI, DorI khulatI rhegii| loga madahozI meM use ur3Ane jAte haiM becAre! hoza hI nahIM hai na kucha! __ cale haiM bacapana se hI loka pravAha ke viruddha maiM to bacapana se hI kahatA thA, 'kisa taraha ke loga haiM, ye bacce?' pataMga ur3Ane kA kyA matalaba hai? logoM ko dekhakara sAra nikAlate haiM ki mujhe isameM khuzI milii| logoM ne jo batAyA, usa para se khuda ne sukha mAna liyaa| yaha to loka pravAha hai, usameM yaha sAikolaoNjikala iphekTa, kaisI ur3I... kaisI ur3I... kaisI ur3I... kaisI ur3I! are bhAI, isameM terA kyA hai? do-cAra Ane kI jalebI lAkara khAI hotI to acchA thA, peTa meM to jAtA, ye to yoM hI havA meM ur3atI haiM! praznakartA : lekina dAdA, eka dina ke lie to bAkI sArI parezAniyA~ bhUla jAte haiM na! dAdAzrI : hA~, lekina parezAnI bhUlane ke dUsare rAste bhI haiM na! praznakartA : hA~, lekina jinake pAsa dUsare rAste nahIM hoM, unake lie to yaha eka acchA eskepa (bacAva) hai na!

Page #99
34 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : nahIM, usameM bhI harja nahIM haiM lekina loga jo dekhA-dekhI karate haiM, usase mujhe Apatti hai| rAjA kI taraha paTAkhe phUTate hue dakhate the, khuda nahIM phor3ate the praznakartA : phira, paTAkhe kA bhI aisA hI thA na! Apa paTAkhe nahIM phor3ate the na? dAdAzrI : hA~, maiM jaba choTA thA taba maiMne AtizabAjI nahIM kii| kyA rAjA kabhI paTAkhe phor3ate haiM ? paTAkhe to maz2adUra phor3ate haiM aura rAjA dekhate haiN| kisI rAjA ne paTAkhe nahIM phor3e haiN| sabhI rAjA kursI para baiThakara dekhate rahate haiM aura naukara phor3ate haiM pttaakhe| tujhe isameM kyA nyAya lagatA hai ? tU rAjA ho to tU khuda phor3egA yA dekhegA? praznakartA : agara rAjA hoU~gA to dekhUgA hI na! dAdAzrI : are! tujha meM aura rAjAoM meM kyA pharka hai? ye yahA~ ke gAyakavAr3a (rAjA ko) dekho to vahI veza hai| kyA pharka hai ? unake pAsa gA~va nahIM haiM aura tere pAsa bhI gA~va nahIM hai| aba to sabhI rAjA hI haiM na! to kyA tU zarIra se prajA hai? baDaudA meM saba tarapha paTAkhe phor3ane vAle haiM to tuma? kursI DAlakara baiTho aura dekho na! mujhe TailI karane (tAlamela baiThAne) kI Adata hai na! ataH maiM dekha letA hU~ ki ina paTAkhoM se, pataMga se kyA lAbha hai| pataMga ur3Ane jAnA sirpha eka prakAra kI kasarata hai| bAkI, hameM to lAbha se kAma hai, aisI z2arUrata nahIM hai| vaha bhI abhAnatA meM chata para ghUmate rahate haiN| eka lar3akA to pUrA chappara lekara nIce A girA! khelA hai nirdoSa holI kA khela bhAbhI ke saMga praznakartA : Apane holI khelI thI? dAdAzrI : hA~, bacapana meM hamArI bhAbhI ke sAtha holI khelI thii| taba ve gyAraha sAla kI thIM aura maiM dasa sAla kaa| praznakartA : ApakI bhAbhI? taba kA raMga abhI bhI nahIM jA rahA hai|

Page #100
[1.4] khela kUda dAdAzrI : holI khela rahe the hama, to holI kA raMga lgaayaa| dekho na, abhI bhI nahIM jA rahA hai| praznakartA : vaha kaisA raMga lagAyA unhoMne, ApakI bhAbhI ne? dAdAzrI : vaha gobara vagairaha DAlakara cupar3A, aura kucha cupar3A aura phira raMga cupdd'aa| mu~ha para cupar3akara khele the| hamArI bhAbhI se kahate haiM to ve abhI bhI yAda karatI haiN| itanA sArA gulAla to kahA~ se AtA, thor3A-bahuta hotA thaa| bAkI, gobara to thA hI na, varnA jo pAnI kI nAliyA~ hotI thIM na, unameM se cupar3ate the| praznakartA : holI khelane kA, prema kA raMga thA bhAbhI kA ki mere devara ko acchI taraha raMgUM? dAdAzrI : isalie ve holI khelatI thIM, taba to bhAva (bhAvukatA vAlA prema) bhI bahuta thA hama para, aura kabhI kabhAra ulTA bhI bola letI thiiN| praznakartA : Apake prati bahuta bhAva thA? dAdAzrI : hA~! aura phira ulTA bhI utanA hI thA, aura phira aisA bhI kahatI thIM ki 'mere devara to jaise lakSmaNa jI dekha lo'| to khele the, kIcar3a cupar3A taba bhI loga kyA kahate the? 'are, holI khela rahe haiM, dekho to sahI!' khela rahe haiM, zabda kA upayoga karate the| kauna sA? praznakartA : khela rahe haiN| dAdAzrI : to aisA hai yaha hindustAna ! kitanI acchI paz2ala hai! kIcar3a cupar3e taba bhI kahate the, 'holI khela rahe haiM!' aura gobara cupar3e taba bhI kahate the, 'holI khela rahe haiM!' yaha kaisI khoja kI hai! aura nirdoSa grAmya jIvana! rAga-dveSa bhUla jAte the becAre aura zAma ko vApasa narama-narama seva khAte the| usameM zuddha ghI aura gur3a hotA thaa|

Page #101
[2] vidyArthI jIvana [2.1] par3hAI karanI thI bhagavAna khojane ke lie 'par3hakara hI Ae haiM' aisA sunate hI maiTrika para hI ruka gae praznakartA : dAdA, ApakI par3hAI kahA~ huI? skUla kauna sA thA? dAdAzrI : aThAraha sAla taka bhAdaraNa meM par3hAI kii| praznakartA : kaba se skUla meM jAnA zurU kiyA thA? dAdAzrI : skUla meM to, sAta sAla ke the, taba gae the aura gujarAtI cauthI kakSA taka gujarAtI meM par3hAI kI aura phira aMgrejI mAdhyama meM cale ge| vahA~ maiTrika tk| praznakartA : dAdA, Apane Age par3hAI kyoM nahIM kI? dAdAzrI : marIcI kA jaisA sunA thA aura usameM jaisA huA thA, vaisI hI ghaTanA hamAre jIvana meM bhI huii| maiMne Age par3hAI kyoM nahIM kI? jaba maiM choTA thA taba aMgrejI sIkhane ke lie pustaka par3hatA thA, taba hamAre bar3e bhAI maNi bhAI Ae aura mujhe par3hate hue dekhakara kahA ki 'dekha aise par3ha' aura sikhAnA zurU kara diyA! to mere pitA jI ne yaha dekhA aura unhoMne kahA ki 'are! tU kahA~ par3hAne baiThA hai ! yaha to par3hakara hI AyA hai!' to maiMne jaba yaha sunA ki maiM par3hakara hI AyA hU~, to phira merA par3hAI karanA ruka gyaa|

Page #102
[2.1] par3hAI karanI thI bhagavAna khojane ke lie 37 rauba jamAne ke lie ghaMTI bajane ke bAda skUla jAte the praznakartA : Apake skUla jIvana kI bAta batAie na ! dAdAzrI : skUla meM hama ghaMTI bajane ke bAda hI jAte the, vaha saba hameM dikhAI detA hai| mAsTara jI roz2a cir3hate rahate the| hama se kaha nahIM pAte the aura cir3hate the| praznakartA : ghaMTI bajane ke bAda hI jAte the? / dAdAzrI : hA~, skUla meM ghaMTI bajane kI AvAz2a sunane ke bAda hI ghara se nikalatA thA aura hamezA mAsTara jI kI phaTakAra sunatA thA! aba mAsTara jI ko kyA patA cale ki merI prakRti kyA hai? hara eka kA 'pisTana' alaga-alaga hotA hai| bacapana se hI merI prakRti aisI thI ki oNlvez2a lett| hara eka kAma meM hamezA 'leTa' thA, koI bhI jaldabAz2I kI hI nhiiN| ghaMTI bajane ke bAda hI ghara se nikalatA thA, aisI prkRti| praznakartA : Apa ghaMTI bajane ke bAda hI kyoM jAte the? dAdAzrI : aisA rauba thA! mana meM aisI khumArI (gaurava, garva, gurUra) thI! lekina taba sIdhe nahIM hue tabhI yaha dazA hai na! sIdhA iMsAna to ghaMTI bajane se pahale hI jAkara baiTha jAtA hai| praznakartA : rauba mAranA ulTA rAstA kahalAtA hai ? dAdAzrI : yaha to ulTA rAstA hI hai na! bhAI sAhaba ghaMTI bajane ke bAda jAte the aura mAsTara jI usase pahale hI A cuke hote the! mAsTara jI dera se Ae~ to cala sakatA hai lekina baccoM ko to niyama se, ghaMTI bajane se pahale hI A jAnA cAhie na! lekina yaha Ar3AI (ahaMkAra kA Ter3hApana), 'TIcara, apane mana meM kyA samajhate haiM' aisA kahate the| lo! 'are, tujhe par3hane jAnA hai yA bAkhar3I bA~dhanI (lar3ane ke lie taiyAra rahanA) hai ?' taba kahatA thA, 'nahIM, pahale bAkhar3I bA~dhanI hai'| use bAkhar3I bA~dhanA kahate haiN| Apane bAkhar3I zabda sunA hai? hA~! to ThIka hai| praznakartA : to kyA mAsTara jI Apase kucha bhI nahIM kaha sakate the?

Page #103
38 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : kahate to the, lekina ve aisA nahIM kaha pAte the| ve ghabarAte the ki bAhara nikalakara patthara mAregA, sira phor3a degaa| maiM to teraha sAla kI umra meM bhI mAsTara jI ko DarAtA thaa| skUla meM mAsTara jI bhI Darate the mujhase praznakartA : dAdA, Apa itane zarAratI the? dAdAzrI : hA~, zarAratI to the| mAla hI pUrA zarAratI, Ar3A maal| skUla meM mAsTara jI-vAsTara to mujhe acche hI nahIM lagate the| ina mAsTara jI ke sAtha to bar3I muzkila se nibhAnA par3atA thaa| mAsTara jI ke pAsa par3hane jAnA par3atA thA na, vaha to bar3I muzkila se nibhA letA thaa| kyoMki ghara se phuTabaoNla ko eka lagAte the ki 'jAo skUla' aura skUla meM mAsTara jI phuTabaoNla ko lagAte ki 'aba ghara jAo', to phuTabaoNla jaisI dazA ho jAtI thI! skUla ke mAsTara jI ko to maiM kucha mAnatA hI nahIM thA na! yoM AtA bhI nahIM thA aura kucha mAnate bhI nahIM the| mAsTara jI merI bahuta burAI karate the aura maiM unakI, yahI kAma thA, kyoMki mujhe paravazatA acchI nahIM lagatI thii| ___maiM skUla jAne meM itanI gaDabaDa karatA thA ki mAsTara jI DhU~Dhate raha jAte the| klAsa meM merI hAz2irI nahIM hotI thii| dera se jAtA thA to mAsTara jI mujhase Darate the isalie saba se pIche baiThAte the| mujhe to pIche hI baiThanA thA varnA kyA maiM pAsa ho jAtA? maiM to, jo bacce phela hote the, unameM se saba se AkhirI naMbara para phela hotA thaa| praznakartA : klAsa meM Apa hAz2ira kyoM nahIM rahate the, dAdA? dAdAzrI : jo acche zikSaka hote the na, unake piriyaDa meM maiM pUrA dhyAna detA thA aura bAkI meM maiM dhyAna nahIM detA thaa| maiM unase aisA vyavahAra karatA thA, jaise unheM aMTI meM bA~dha rakhA ho| phira kula milAkara kyA huA ki maiM phela ho gyaa| aMta meM maiMne aisA sAra nikAlA ki sabhI ko par3hAI para dhyAna denA caahie|

Page #104
[2.1] par3hAI karanI thI bhagavAna khojane ke lie yadi hama kaoNleja (skUla) meM baiThe haiM, kaoNleja meM (skUla meM) hameM kucha prApti karanI hai to sabhI piriyaDa meM aTenzana denA caahie| usake bAvajUda bhI agara kisI kAraNa se, kudaratI kAraNa se na A pAe~ to vaha DipharanTa meTara (alaga cIz2a) hai| hameM jAna-bUjhakara aisA nahIM karanA caahie| jahA~ bAkI saba phela, vahA~ dAdA pAsa praznakartA : dAdA, laMdana meM Apake eka dosta mile the na, Apa donoM eka hI benca para baiThate the, ve harihara bhAI? dAdAzrI : hA~, harihara prbhudaas| vahA~ para maiMne unheM bulavAyA taba unhoMne mahAtmAoM se kahA, 'ye dAdA mere dosta haiM, hama eka hI benca para baiThate the, ye mere jigarI dosta haiN'| are! aThahattara sAla kI umra meM aisA mata kahanA! jigarI dost| aThahattara sAla ke ho gae phira kaise jigarI? lekina una dinoM the jigrii| praznakartA : phira unhoMne eka pola khola dI ki 'maiM eka sAla pIche thA lekina Apa phela ho gae to hama donoM sAtha meM A ge'| dAdAzrI : hA~, phela hue isalie sAtha meM A ge| praznakartA : dAdA, Apa vahA~ (skUla meM) phela ho gae, bAkI saba yahA~ saMsAra meM phela hokara baiThe haiN| kaoNmanasensa hara tarapha kA, lekina par3hAI meM nahIM dAdAzrI : skUla meM kucha nahIM AtA thA, usakA kyA kAraNa hai ? saba tarapha kA kaoNmanasensa thaa| ataH jise saba tarapha kA kaoNmanasensa ho na, use sirpha eka hI tarapha kA nahIM AtA, koI eka lAina pUrI nahIM kara sktaa| ataH maiM samajha gayA thA ki yaha par3hAI mujhase pUrI nahIM ho pAegI, yaha to par3hAkU logoM kA kAma hai aura usake phalasvarUpa, ye loga naukarI ddhuuNddheNge|

Page #105
40 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : aura mujhe naukarI nahIM cAhie thii| mujhe yaha sArI paravazatA acchI nahIM lagatI thii| to cAroM tarapha kA kaoNmanasensa, oNla raaundd| kaise niber3A AtA? bAkI saba ho pAtA thA, vaha AtA thA isalie par3hAI nahIM ho pAtI thI na! vaha nahIM AyA isIlie maiTrika meM phela ho gayA na! praznakartA : dAdA, vaha jo kaoNmanasensa hai, vaha kisa taraha se AtA hai? vaha jise sUjha kahate haiM, vaha kisa taraha se AtI hai? dAdAzrI : vaha saba pUrva janmoM kA hai, pUrva janma kA sArA sAmAna lekara Ae the| vaha zakti bahuta hI acchI thI, kAma hI nikAla de| aisI zakti bahuta kama logoM meM hotI hai| praznakartA : phira aMta meM kyA huA, dAdA? pAsa hue yA nahIM? dAdAzrI : phira jaise-taise karake phortha meM aayaa| taba maiMne saba raTa liyA thA, jubAnI kara liyA thA isalie pAsa ho gyaa| pUre gA~va meM hallA maca gayA thaa| are! yaha AkhirI naMbara para phela hone vAlA pAsa ho gayA! mAsTara jI ke DA~Tane para kahA ki 'maiM to pha~sa gayA hU~' praznakartA : dAdA, koI mAsTara jI Apako DA~Tate the? dAdAzrI : jaba maiM chaThI kakSA meM aMgrejI par3hatA thA, taba somA bhAI karake eka mAsTara jI the, grejyueTa prophesara, ve mere bradara ke phrenDa the| eka bAra somA bhAI mAsTara jI mujhe DA~Tane lage aura kahA ki 'tere itane sAla pAnI meM gae! tujhe sAta sAla ho gae phira bhI aMgrejI bolanA nahIM aataa| aMbAlAla tU mauja-mastI karatA hai, isa taraha ghUmatA rahatA hai aura ThIka se par3hatA nahIM hai| isa taraha tU apanI jiMdagI kharAba kara rahA hai| mujhe tere bar3e bhAI maNi bhAI se DA~Ta pdd'egii'| ___ unhoMne kahA, 'tU acchI taraha se nahIM par3hatA hai aura khela kUda para jyAdA dhyAna detA hai| tere bhAI mere phrenDa haiM isalie mujhe unheM batAnA

Page #106
[2.1] par3hAI karanI thI bhagavAna khojane ke lie 41 pdd'egaa| mujhe apane dosta ko ciTThI likhanI par3egI ki tU par3hatA nahIM hai| ThIka se par3hatA nahIM hai aura TAima bigAr3a rahA hai'| taba maiM kahatA thA ki 'mere bhAI kaoNnTraikTa ke kAma meM par3e haiM, ve kahA~ phAlatU baiThe haiM ?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'tere pitA mUlajI bhAI ko batA dU~gA ki tU bahuta zarArata karatA hai'| maiMne kahA, 'dekho, merI hakIkata suna lo| phira jo kahanA ho vaha kahanA, mujhe harja nahIM hai| akele meM batA dU~ sAhaba? abhI yahA~ para koI nahIM hai isalie sahI bAta batA detA huuN| merI mUMche-yU~che nahIM haiM isalie abhI taka to maiM baccA hU~ lekina maiM pha~sa gayA huuN'| 'are, par3hAI karane meM kaise pha~sa gayA tU? bar3e bhAI kaoNnTraikTara haiM, paise haiM, sabakucha hai aura acche ghara kA hai na!' lekina 'pha~sa gayA hU~' aisA khaa| maiMne sAphasApha kaha diyA ki 'Apako jo karanA ho vaha kara lIjie, aba mujhe yaha kucha bhI nahIM sIkhanA hai| mujhe nahIM par3hanA hai| maiM thaka gayA huuN| itane sAla kI par3hAI ke bAda prApti kyA? maiMne kahA, 'par3hAI meM dhyAna rakhate hue maiM paMdraha sAla kA ho gyaa| sikstha meM A gayA hU~ to paMdraha sAla to mere par3hAI meM ge| paMdraha sAla ho gae hAiskUla meM A-B-C-D sIkhane meM, bahuta huA to yaha itanA saba eka bhASA sikhA degaa| aura sAinsa meM kauna se prayoga sikhAe? yaha pAnI garama karo aura yaha garama karo aura aisA karo, vaisA karo, aisA saba sikhAyA hameM skUla meN'| paMdraha sAloM se maiM yaha sira phoDI kara rahA huuN| paMdraha-solaha sAla (umra) kA ho gayA hU~ maiM, usameM chaH-sAta sAla taka to maiM ghara se nahIM niklaa| dasa sAla se maiM Apake pIche par3A hU~ isa par3hAI ke lie, to ina dasa sAloM meM to maiMne bhagavAna DhU~Dha lie hote jabaki yahA~ para mujhe kucha bhI nahIM aataa| isalie agara Apa mere pIche par3oge to maz2A nahIM AegA, aisA khaa| Apako jo kahanA ho vaha kaha denaa| maiM Apake yahA~ pha~sa gayA huuN| paMdraha sAloM se yaha par3hAI kara rahA hU~ lekina abhI taka maiTrika nahIM kara paayaa| pahalI kakSA meM baiThA tabhI se, paMdraha sAla (umra) meM abhI taka maiTrika nahIM kara paayaa|

Page #107
42 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) itane sAloM meM to bhagavAna DhU~Dha nikAlatA mAsTara jI se kahA thA, 'mAsTara jI, ye paMdraha sAla isa eka bhASA ko sIkhane meM nikAle lekina yadi itanI hI mahenata bhagavAna DhU~Dhane meM kI hotI to z2arUra bhagavAna prApta karake baiTha cukA hotA! isameM to balki merA samaya bigar3A hai| samaya isa taraha se bigAr3ane ke lie nahIM hai| maiM to jAgRta iMsAna hU~, aisA khaa| maiMne bekAra hI itane sAla khoe'| taba unhoMne kahA ki 'tajhe yadi bhagavAna DhU~Dhane haiM to phira tujhase par3hAI nahIM hogii'| maiMne kahA, 'nahIM hotI hai lekina aba kyA karU~? Apa hI rAstA btaaie'| to sAhaba bhI hakkA-bakkA raha gae, cupa hI ho ge| ise to kucha kahane jaisA hI nahIM hai| yaha lar3akA to uddhata hai, isakA to nAma hI mata lo| una dinoM uddhatA dikhAI detI thI na! abhI koI use merI uddhatAI nahIM kahegA lekina taba to uddhatAI hI kahate na! aura kucha bhI karanA nahIM AtA thA, samajha nahIM thI to use uddhata hI kaheMge na! are, sTaMTa kahate the, sttNtt| do sAla meM jo bhASA sIkha jAe~, mata bigAr3o usake lie dasa sAla ___ yaha bhASA sIkhanA, vaha to agara do sAla iMglainDa meM chor3a Ae~ na, to sIkha jaaeNge| binA bAta ke raTAte rahate ho, A-B-C-D-E-F-G ! apanI jo yaha saba zikSA vyavasthA hai na, vaha vesTa oNpha TAima enDa enarjI (samaya aura zakti kA apavyaya) hai| aMgrejoM ke samaya se haiM yh| apane yahA~ to, apane bacce itane hoziyAra haiM ki pharsTa-sekanDa aura tharDa sTainDarDa eka sAtha pAsa kara leM! saba aise nahIM hote lekina jitane hoziyAra haiM, unheM to jAne do aage| unakA bhI rAstA rokA huA hai, bAraha mahIne se kama nhiiN| hoziyAra yAnI kaise hoziyAra ! maiMne dekhe haiM briliyanTa bacce! abhI bhale hI anAr3Ipana dikhAI detA ho lekina Akhira meM blaDa to AryoM kA hai| ataH yoM bahuta hoziyAra haiM lekina yaha bhASA kisalie raTAte, raTAte aura raTAte hI rahate haiM ? isakA kaba aMta AegA?

Page #108
[2.1] par3hAI karanI thI bhagavAna khojane ke lie yaha kyA hai bhalA! paMdraha sAla taka kitAbeM hI gAte raho! GO (jI-o) TU go, GO (jI-o) TU go| are! chor3a na yahIM para! agara koI lAina ho to alaga bAta hai lekina maiTrika taka to sirpha bhASA hI sikhAte haiN| bekAra hI A-B-C-D sikhAte haiN| vaha bhI kisI aura kI bhaassaa| kyA isa phaoNrena kI bhASA ko sIkhane ke lie maiTrika taka par3hanA cAhie? kisa taraha kA ghanacakkarapana hai yaha! yahA~ para phaoNrena kI bhASA sIkhane meM iMsAna kI AdhI umra bIta jAtI hai, isake bajAya phaoNrena meM jAkara do tIna sAla raha Ae to saba A jaaegaa| bekAra hI yahA~ para mahenata karake dimAg2a kharAba krnaa| isakA kyA karanA hai, kyA karanA hai bhASA-vASA kA? phira vApasa agale janma meM ise bhUla jAe~ge, phira marAThI sIkhanI hogii| phira usake bAda vAle janma meM use bhI bhUla jAe~ge, phira hiMdI sIkhanI hogii| phira urdU sIkhanI hogii| isakA kyA karanA hai? jise bhUla jAnA hai, use kyA sIkhanA? vaha bhI agara pichale janma kA sIkhA huA hogA vahI sIkha paaeNge| binA sIkhA haA to kabhI bhI nahIM A paaegaa| jo sIkhA hai, usa para AvaraNa ke rUpa meM eka parata A jAtI hai, do parateM A jAtI haiN| jitane janma jAnavara meM gayA hogA na, utanI parateM A jAtI haiN| jAnavara yoni meM nahIM gae hoM to eka parata hotI hai taba par3hAI meM pharsTa naMbara para AtA hai| vahI kA vahI ajJAna par3hatA hai aura vApasa AvRta ho jAtA hai ___ eka hI cIz2a ko lAkhoM janmoM taka par3hate rahe haiN| anaMta janmoM se yahI par3ha rahe haiM aura phira AvRta ho jAtA hai| ajJAna ko par3hanA nahIM hotaa| ajJAna to sahaja bhAva se A jAtA hai, jJAna ko par3hanA par3atA hai| mere AvaraNa kama haiM isalie teraha sAla kI umra meM bhAna ho gyaa| mujhe bacapana se hI aise hI vicAra Ate rahate the ki roz2a vahI kI vahI cIjeM, usase bora ho jAte the| isIlie par3hanA nahIM AtA thA na! par3hAI meM kucha nahIM AtA thA usakA kAraNa yahI thaa| aise hI vicAra Ate rahate the|

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AA jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) hamArI par3hAI citta kI gairahAz2irI meM hotI thI isalie phela ho jAtA thA aura bevakUpha khlaayaa| jaba bar3e bhAI Ate na, to yaha par3hAI vagairaha nahIM dekhate the| sabhI mAsTara jI unake mitra the, to somA bhAI mAsTara jI ne maNi bhAI se kahA ki 'ApakA bhAI hai to hoziyAra lekina ThIka se par3hatA nahIM hai'| taba bhAI sAhaba ne mujhe DA~TA, 'tU dhyAna nahIM rakhatA hai, par3hatA nahIM hai'| maiM vaha suna letA thA lekina mana meM aisA hotA thA ki 'mujhe to pUrNa svataMtra honA hai'| to 1958 meM (jaba jJAna huA taba) pUrNa rUpa se svataMtra ho gyaa| varlDa kA kalyANa karane kA nimitta lekara AyA hU~ ___ taba mAsTara jI to mujhase kahate the, 'yahA~ bhagavAna-vagavAna nahIM haiN| yahA~ par3hane ke lie AnA hai'| maiMne kahA, 'maiM bhagavAna DhU~Dha rahA huuN| maiM aisI par3hAI karane ke lie, maiM logoM kI naukariyA~ karane ke lie yahA~ nahIM AyA huuN| maiM to kucha vizeSa karane AyA huuN| kucha nayA hI karane AyA huuN| yaha to ghara vAle mujhe z2abaradastI dabAva DAlakara bhejate haiM, merI icchA nahIM hai| unakI to naukarI karavAne kI icchAe~ haiM, maiM naukarI karane nahIM AyA huuN'| naukarI meM to loga riTAyara kara dete haiN| kyA kara dete haiM ? riTAyara kara dete haiN| baila hotA hai na, use pAMjarApola (bUr3he pazuoM kI pazuzAlA) meM bhejakara riTAyara kara dete haiM, usI taraha se unheM bhI riTAyara kara dete haiN| 'aThAvana sAla kA ho gayA, riTAyarDa! nikAla do', kahate haiN| ___ isalie maiMne somA bhAI sara ko javAba de diyaa| bahuta acche iMsAna the aura lAgaNI (lagAva, bhAvukatA vAlA prema) vAle the! 'lekina mujha para bahuta lAgaNI mata rakhanA, maiM alaga hI taraha kA iMsAna huuN| Apako pAsa karanA hai aura mujhe phela honA hai, bolo! maiM isa ulajhana meM nahIM par3anA cAhatA', khaa| maiMne paMdraha sAla isameM nikAle hote to bhagavAna ko Upara se nIce utAra laataa| itanA saba sAmAna lekara AyA hU~, behisAba sAmAna lekara

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[2.1] par3hAI karanI thI bhagavAna khojane ke lie ___45 AyA huuN| pUre varlDa ke kalyANa kA nimitta lekara AyA hU~ aura kalyANa avazya honA hI hai| kitane hI mAsTara jI hama para khuza praznakartA : phira bhI Apa kisI mAsTara jI ko to pasaMda hoMge na? dAdAzrI : maiM jaba sekanDa meM par3hatA thA na, taba hamAre eka mAsTara jI the| taba saba ke brena kaise the! hAi klAsa brena the saba ke| kyA nAma thA unakA? nAma bhUla gayA hU~ maiN| praznakartA : viThThala bhaaii| dAdAzrI : hA~, viThThala bhaaii| bahuta acche the| ha~sate cehare vaale| ve mere sAmane dekhakara ha~sate the| phira unhoMne bharuca meM klinika kholI to jaba maiM do dina ke lie bharuca gayA thA, taba maiM vahA~ para gayA thaa| maiMne kahA, 'Apase milane AyA huuN| to kahane lage, 'yahIM para rahanA, kahIM aura mata jaanaa'| taba rahA thA unake pAsa do din| bahuta acche iMsAna the! ve to bahuta milanasAra the| choTe baccoM ke sAtha bhI bAtacIta karate the, ha~sI-maz2Aka karate the| ha~samukha svabhAva vAle... __dUsare the maNi bhAI, ve phiphtha meM mere TIcara the| maNi bhAI bahuta milanasAra nahIM the| zuruAta meM to ve mujha para bahuta cir3hate the kyoMki maiM bindAsa thA aura unheM bindAsa loga acche nahIM lagate the| praznakartA : hA~, ve to sabhI para gussA ho jAte the| dAdAzrI : are! bhAI bindAsa iMsAna bhI acchA, kabhI agara pAna khAnA ho to lA degaa| bAda meM to Akhira taka mujha para bahuta khuza the maNi bhaaii| aba jaba se yaha akrama kA huA na, usake bAda unake mana meM

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46 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) kucha alaga ghusa gayA ki yaha kyA alaga karane lagA hai ? unake mana meM aisI icchA thI ki yadi jJAna thA, to apanA alaga se karane kI z2arUrata hI kyA thI? maiMne kahA, 'maiMne alaga nahIM kiyA hai| loga aisA samajhate haiM mujhe judAI hai| maiMne judA kiyA hI nahIM hai'| maiM vahA~ jAne lagA to logoM ko acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| vahA~ bhAdaraNa meM zobhA yAtrA thI na, taba ve bhI kaha rahe the, ki 'mujhe kahalavAyA hotA to maiM AtA na yahA~ pr| gA~va meM zobhA yAtrA ho aura maiM na AU~?' ___ abhI kucha samaya pahale maiM unase milane gayA thA, Apa bhI Ae the na? lekina aba pahale jaisA prema pradarzita nahIM krte| pahale to mujhe dekhakara khUba ha~sate the, khUba ha~sate the| unheM samajha meM nahIM AtA hai ki kyA aisA akrama hotA hogA? aba unhoMne sunA nahIM hai na, aisA sb| unheM aisA lagatA hai ki ulTA rAstA hogaa| to Apake bhAI unheM kucha kahane vAle the bar3audA meN| praznakartA : sukumaar| dAdAzrI : sukumAra ne kahA, 'maiM to khuuNgaa'| maiMne kahA, 'mata kahanA, mata khnaa| balki mujha para aura jyAdA vaha (ulTA) hogaa| unheM mata kahanA, gupta rkho'| bekAra hI ve mana hI mana ciddh'eNge| vaha apanA dharma hai hI nhiiN| isa taraha se rahanA hai ki unheM AnaMda honA caahie| hameM unake duHkha kA kAraNa nahIM bananA hai| jaba tArApura jAnA thA, taba unhIM ke yahA~ rukA thaa| unhoMne kahA, 'mere yahIM para ruknaa'| usa samaya ve tArApura meM the| praznakartA : tArApura meM heDamAsTara jI the| bhagavAna DhU~Dhe, laghuttama sIkhate hue praznakartA : dAdA, vaha ghaTanA batAie na, laghuttama ke AdhAra para Apako bhagavAna mila ge| dAdAzrI : maiM bacapana se hI bhagavAna DhU~Dha rahA thaa| bhagavAna ke

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[2.1] par3hAI karanI thI bhagavAna khojane ke lie ___47 astitva kA koI pramANa de tU mujhe| kyA pramANa nahIM honA cAhie? lekina phira mujhe eka cIz2a para se bhagavAna mila ge| bacapana se darzana itanA hAI thA ki laghuttama sIkhate hue mujhe bhagavAna samajha meM A ge| jaba maiM caudaha sAla kA thA, taba skUla meM eka mAsTara jI mila gae the| ve mujhe gaNita meM laghuttama sikhAne aae| laghuttama sIkhane ke lie itanI rakameM Apako dI haiM, inameM se laghuttama DhU~Dha nikAlo', unhoMne khaa| aisI pA~ca-dasa saMkhyAe~ dete aura pUchate the| taba maiMne mAsTara jI se pUchA, 'yaha phira kyA? laghuttama dvArA Apa kyA kahanA cAhate haiM ? laghuttama kisa taraha se AtA hai ?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'ye jo sArI saMkhyAe~ dI haiM, inameM jo saba se choTI avibhAjya rakama hai, vaha laghuttama hai| aisI saMkhyA jo ina pA~ca-dasa saMkhyAoM meM sAmAnya hai aura avibhAjya hai| ve, isa prakAra se choTe bacce kI bhASA meM hotA hai na, aise zabdoM meM kaha rahe hoNge| avibhAjya yAnI jisameM phira se bhAga na lagAyA jA sake aisI, jisake phira se bhAga nahIM kie jA sakeM aisI choTI se choTI rakama DhU~Dha nikAlanI thii| praznakartA : usameM bhAga nahIM lagAyA jA sktaa| dAdAzrI : phira usameM bhAga nahIM lagAyA jA sakatA, avibhAjya hotI hai| cAra ho to vibhAjana ho sakatA hai, ATha ho to vibhAjana ho sakatA hai, nau ho to vibhAjana ho sakatA hai, sau ho to vibhAjana ho sakatA hai lekina pA~ca kA vibhAjana nahIM ho sakatA, satraha kA vibhAjana nahIM ho sakatA, gyAraha kA vibhAjana nahIM ho sktaa| kucha-kucha aisI saMkhyAe~ haiN| arthAt aisA kucha DhU~Dha nikAlo, ina saba meN| aisI eka rakama sabhI meM hai lekina vaha laghuttama bhAva se haiN| use khoja nikAlanA hai| una dinoM sabhI logoM ko vaha karanA AtA thA lekina mujhe to nahIM AyA aura isa taraha socatA rahatA thaa| praznakartA : kaise vicAra?

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48 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : una dinoM iMsAnoM ko hamArI bhASA meM 'saMkhyA' kahate the ki yaha saMkhyA acchI nahIM hai| pahale ke samaya meM gujarAtI bhASA meM aisA bolA jAtA thA ki 'ye saMkhyAe~ acchI nahIM haiN'| manuSya se kyA kahate the? koI iMsAna kharAba ho to maiM kahatA thA ki 'ye sabhI saMkhyAe~ bahuta acchI nahIM haiN| unheM saMkhyA kahatA thA, iMsAna nahIM kahatA thaa| zabda hI aise bolatA thaa| to caudaha sAla kI umra meM mujhe yaha vicAra AyA ki ye saba saMkhyAe~ (iMsAna) kisa taraha kI haiM? itanA hI nahIM, ye kutte, billI, gAya-bhaiMsa, gadhe ye saba saMkhyAe~ hI haiN| isa saMkhyA se yaha saMkhyA meca ho gaI, mujhe yaha mAphika A gayA isalie mujhe aisA lagA ki ina saMkhyAoM meM bhI phira aisA hI hai na! phira mujhe pUrI rAta nIMda nahIM AI aura socane lgaa| arthAt bhagavAna sabhI meM avibhAjya rUpa se rahe hue haiM, vaha bAta mujhe eDajasTa ho gii| tabhI se sArA hisAba lagA diyaa| caudaha sAla kI umra meM pariNAma ke vicAra praznakartA : taba bhI kyA Apako ina saba ke bAre meM patA thA, usa umra meM? dAdAzrI : nahIM! usa umra meM mujhe sirpha pariNAma ke hI vicAra Ate the| hara eka bAta meM pariNAma ke hI vicAra Ate the| isakA pariNAma kyA AegA, vaha mere sAmane hAz2ira ho jAtA thaa| mujhe vaha agale dina samajha meM AyA ki yaha to 'bhagavAna' haiM ki jo hara eka saMkhyA meM gAya meM, bhaiMsa meM aura iMsAna meM choTI se choTI cIz2a meM bhI bhagavAna haiM, jo avibhAjya rUpa se rahe hue haiN| ataH bhagavAna laghuttama haiN| laghuttama kA phala kyA AegA? bhgvaan| ataH laghuttama se bhagavAna milate haiM, khAsa taura para mujhe aisA samajha meM aayaa| bhagavAna laghuttama haiM, aisA una dinoM mujhe samajha meM A gayA thaa| kaise haiM ? avibhAjya, jinake bhAga nahIM kie jA sakate aura jo sabhI meM rahate haiM, samAna bhAva se| praznakartA : ve sabhI meM kaoNmana phaikTara haiN|

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[2.1] par3hAI karanI thI bhagavAna khojane ke lie dAdAzrI : sabhI meM kaoNmana / yaha mujhe caudaha sAla kI umra meM samajha meM A gyaa| yaha acchI bAta hai na! aisI samajha A jAe to ! use dimAg2a khulanA kahate haiM ! taba mujhe patA calA ki sabhI iMsAnoM meM aisI koI choTI se choTI cIz2a honI hI cAhie na ! aura bhagavAna kahate haiM ki 'maiM sabhI meM hU~', to mujhe samajha meM A gayA ki AtmA sarva meM hai bhagavAna aMdara haiM aura loga bhagavAna ko DhU~Dhane ke lie bAhara bhAga - -daur3a kara rahe haiN| I 49 hA~, sabhI jagaha, sabhI krIcarsa meM aura varAiaTI oNpha kriicrs| krIcarsa kI behisAba varAiaTIz2a haiM aura unameM bhagavAna laghuttama bhAva se rahe hue haiM, avibhAjya rUpa se / vaha mujhe caudaha sAla kI umra meM samajha meM A gayA thA phira merI soca Age bar3hI | isalie maiMne mAsTara jI se kahA ki 'ye rakameM, yaha sikhAyA to bahuta acchA huaa| inameM jo laghuttama saMkhyA hai, jo vastu bacI hai vaha, ina sabhI saMkhyAoM meM jo avibhAjya hai, ve bhagavAna haiN| mujhe bhagavAna mila ge'| to mAsTara jI ne mujhase kahA, 'baiTha jA, baiTha jA, tujha meM akla nahIM hai, tujhe samajha meM nahIM AtA hai'| yAnI tabhI se yaha jhaMjhaTa ! jhukA svabhAva laghuttama kI ora, to aMta meM bane laghuttama isa laghuttama para se hI phira merA svabhAva laghuttama kI tarapha jhukatA gyaa| taba laghuttama nahIM bana pAyA, jhukAva z2arUra thA lekina aba aMta meM maiM laghuttama banakara rahA, abhI / bAi rileTiva vyU poinTa Ai ema kamplITa laghuttama, bAi riyala vyU poinTa Ai ema kamplITa guruttama / bAi rileTiva vyU poinTa laghuttama kA matalaba hai ki isa saMsAra kI sabhI bAtoM meM, jaba taka yaha sAMsArika deha, veza vagairaha hai, taba taka usa bAre meM maiM laghuttama hU~ / yAnI ki mujhase choTA anya koI jIva hai nahIM ! maiM laghuttama hI hU~ / maiMne pustaka meM aisA likhA hai ki 'maiM laghuttama hU~ !' aura bAi riyala vyU poinTa maiM guruttama huuN| rileTiva meM jitanA laghuttama banate haiM, utanA hI riyala meM guruttama banate jAte haiN|

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50 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) apane vyavahAra meM yaha laghuttama zabda AtA hai, vaha aisA hai ki sArA kAma nikAla degaa| praznakartA : lekina vyavahAra kI bajAya jaba tattva jJAna se isakA milApa hotA hai, taba nayA hI prakAza par3atA hai laghuttama pr| dAdAzrI : hA~, nayA prakAza par3atA hai, laghuttama kaa| laghuttama kA prakAza par3atA hai hama para to mujha para bhI laghuttama kA bahuta prakAza par3atA thaa| laghuttama nahIM sIkhe the? praznakartA : guruttama sIkhe the, laghuttama nhiiN| dAdAzrI : aba sabhI meM laghuttama DhUMDha nikAlane haiM, bs| aba laghuttama nikAlanA sIkha jaao| guruttama to bahuta dinoM taka nikAlA, aba laghuttama nikaalo| isalie skUla meM sikhAyA jAtA hai| kyoMki agara laghuttama nikAloge to kabhI mokSa kA laghuttama nikAlanA AegA lekina yadi yaha laghuttama hI nahIM sIkhA hogA to mokSa kA laghuttama kaise AegA? ataH laghuttama hI saMsAra meM mokSa kA eka mAtra sAdhana hai| jise laghuttama nikAlanA A jAegA, use paramAtmA DhU~DhanA A jaaegaa|

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[ 2.2] maiTrika phela vilAyata bhejakara sUbedAra banAne kI icchA praznakartA : dAdA, Apa brilyanTa ( tejasvI ) the to maiTrika phela kyoM hue ? dAdAzrI : mujhe to eka kSaNa ke lie bhI yaha jagat pusAtA nahIM thA / mujhe teraha sAla kI umra se aisA hotA thA ki merA baoNsa nahIM honA caahie| jaba paMdraha sAla kA huA, taba bradara kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma karate the, bar3audA meM / ghara Akara mere bar3e bhAI aura jo hamAre pitA jI the, ve donoM sAtha meM baiThakara, mere bradara ne phAdara se kahA ki, 'yaha aMbAlAla agara acche se maiTrika meM pAsa ho jAe to use par3hAI ke lie vilAyata bheja deNge'| mere phAdara aura bar3e bhAI jo bAta kara rahe the, vaha maiM suna rahA thA / taba bradara ne kyA kahA ki 'maiM par3hAI para thor3A z2yAdA kharca karU~gA lekina ise acchI taraha Age par3hAnA / yaha acchI taraha maiTrika meM pAsa ho jAe to par3hAI ke lie ise sIdhA iMglainDa, laMdana bheja deNge| vahA~ para eka sAla z2yAdA rakheMge to yaha sUbedAra banakara AegA' / hamAre bradara kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma karate the aura ve acchA kamAte the| unake pAsa thor3I-bahuta sahUliyata thI aura himmata thii| paise bhI thor3ebahuta A gae the lekina z2yAdA nahIM para usa z2amAne meM unheM sahUliyata ho gaI thii| yAnI ki pAsa meM kucha hogA, una dinoM pA~ca-dasa haz2Ara rupae kharca kara sakate the, vilAyata bhejane ke lie| taba saste meM ho jAtA thA, bahuta maha~gA nahIM thA, to utanI sahUliyata to thI / unhoMne kahA, paise dU~gA, ise vilAyata bhejeNge'| 'maiM saba

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52 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga - 1) praznakartA : par3hane ke lie? dAdAzrI : bAda meM ve phira se bAta kara rahe the| unhoMne kahA, 'vilAyata bhejeMge aura vilAyata se par3hAI karake tIna sAla bAda pAsa hokara DigrI lekara yahA~ AegA to yahA~ para sUbedAra bana jaaegaa| apane parivAra meM jo sUbedAra hai na, vaise hI ise bhI vilAyata bhejakara sUbedAra bnaaeNge| yahA~ gAyakavAr3a sarakAra sUbedAra kI greDa detI hai| par3hAI karake Ane ke bAda turaMta hI use acchI, probezanara kI jagaha mila jAegI, isa taraha sUbedAra bana jaaegaa| phira sUbedAra kI taraha gAyakavAr3a sarakAra ke yahA~ naukarI karatA rhegaa'| to mere phAdara aura bradara mujhe naukarI meM DAlanA cAhate the I isake pIche unakI kyA icchA thI ? sUbedAra banAne meM ? eya bar3A oNphisara, kalekTara banAne ke lie mujhe aisA kara rahe the, sUbedAra - sUbedAra / jaise kamiznara hotA hai na, gavarnamenTa meM, vaise una dinoM sUbedAra hote the I hamAre bar3audA sTeTa meM pahale sUbedAra banate the / eka prAMta kA sUbedAra, pUre gA~va kA UparI (baoNsa, variSTha mAnilaka) hotA thA vaha / una dinoM tIna sau rupae kI tanakhvAha milatI thI, bar3audA sTeTa ke sUbedAra ko| bar3audA sTeTa thA na, isalie sUbedAra banAne kA bahuta vaha thaa| isa bar3audA sTeTa meM hamAre kuTuMba ke eka vyakti the cAcA ke beTe, hamAre bhAI hote the, chaThI pIr3hI meM / unakA nAma thA jeThA bhAI nAraNa jI, ve mere phAdara ke bhatIje hote the / ve sarakAra meM sUbedAra the / ataH una dinoM yaha bahuta bar3I DigrI mAnI jAtI thI / 'sUbedAra sAhaba Ae, sUbedAra sAhaba Ae' isa taraha se ve maiTrika par3hakara vilAyata gae the / ve vilAyata jAkara grejyueTa hue aura sUbedAra bana gae the| mere phAdara aura bar3e bhAI kI aisI icchA thI, sUbedAra banAne kii| usa samaya mana meM aisA lAlaca thA ki isa bhAI ko sUbedAra bnaaeNge|

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[2.2] maiTrika phela 53 samajha gae sUbedAra banAne ke pIche kA svArtha to yaha bAta sunI to mujhe cir3ha macI ki 'ye loga mujhe sUbedAra kyoM banAnA cAhate haiM ?' to mujhe turaMta hI vicAra AyA ki mujhe sUbedAra banAe~ge to inheM kyA phAyadA? to ye apane kisa phAyade ke lie sUbedAra banAnA cAhate haiM? isameM hara eka kA svArtha hotA hai na, ki ye phAdara kyoM mujhe sUbedAra banA rahe haiM? maiM sUbedAra bana jAU~gA to phAdara ko kyA phAyadA? phAdara kA kyA svArtha hai ? to maiMne isa para socA, aba una dinoM paMdraha sAla kI umra meM phira mujhe samajha meM AyA, to maiM sUbedAra banAne ke pIche kA Azaya samajha gyaa| unake mana meM aisA thA ki, 'merA beTA sUbedAra banegA to maiM isa taraha se pahacAnA jAU~gA ki 'merA beTA sUbedAra hai!' taba phira jIvana jIne kA maz2A AegA na! aura jIvana jIne kI kalA mila gaI ki merA beTA sUbedAra hai, kitanA hoziyAra hai! isa taraha rauba rhegaa| isa taraha, usa kaipha ko lekara ghuumeNge| to yaha aisA kucha sUbedAra bana jAe to maiM sUbedAra kA bApa kahalAU~gA na! loga kaheMge na, ki 'ye usa sUbedAra ke phAdara Ae!" ohoho! yAnI ki agara maiM sUbedAra bana jAU~ to inakI iz2z2ata bar3hegI to maiM samajha gayA thA ki phAdara khuda kI iz2z2ata bar3hAnA cAhate haiN| taba phira ve acchI pagar3I vagairaha pahanakara ghUmeMge na! agara beTA sUbedAra ho to nahIM ghUmeMge kyA? beTA sUbedAra hogA to ghUmeMge na? aura sabhI cAcA bhI aise hI ghuumeNge| cAcA bhI kaheMge ki 'merA bhatIjA sUbedAra hai'| to maiMne soca liyA ki phAdara ko aisA banane kI icchA hai ki 'hamArI kImata kucha bar3ha jAe! loga merI iz2z2ata kareM!' phira huA ki bhAI ko aisA kyoM haiM? bradara ke mana meM aisA hogA ki 'merA choTA bhAI sUbedAra hai ! mana meM to aMdara rauba rahegA phir| hamArI iz2z2ata bar3hegI, kamAegA to hama kharca kareMge, maz2e kreNge'| yAnI ki ve ye sArI bAteM maz2e ur3Ane ke lie kara rahe haiN| ve jeThA bhAI sUbedAra haiM na, to unakA dekhakara mana meM aisA hotA

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54 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) hai ki ve sUbedAra bane haiM to unake pitA jI kA kitanA rauba par3A, bhAIyoM kA kitanA rauba par3A! vaisA hI hamAre phAdara va bradara ke mana meM huA ki 'agara yaha sUbedAra bana jAe to hamArA kitanA rauba jamegA!' ve donoM rauba jamAne ke lie mujhe sUbedAra banAnA cAhate the| to maiMne yaha suna liyaa| ye loga kucha paiMtarA raca rahe haiM mere lie| 'ye loga paiMtarA kyoM raca rahe haiM?' phira haA ki 'nahIM, apane-apane matalaba ke lie kara rahe haiN| ve kahate haiM, 'merA rauba par3egA,' aura ve kahate haiM 'merA rauba par3egA' isa taraha se lekina merI kyA dazA hogI? unake rauba ke lie merA tela nikAlane baiThe haiM ye! unakA rauba par3egA lekina merA to dama nikala jAegA na! isameM merA kyA hai? maiMne kahA, 'ye loga mujhe zIze meM utArane kI koziza kara rahe haiM, phAdara aura brdr| ye loga isa taraha acche kapar3e pahanakara aura pagar3I bA~dhakara ghUmeMge aura kacUmara merA niklegaa| mujhe aisA sUbedAra nahIM bananA hai| una donoM ko rauba jamAnA thaa| are! Apa donoM ko isakA zauka hai, Apa donoM kA rauba jamegA lekina merA kyA hogA? maiM sUbedAra banU~gA phira sarasUbedAra mujhe jhir3akegA maiM samajha gayA ki ye loga sarvisa karavAne ke lie mujhe phaMsA rahe haiM ki 'kabhI yaha sUbedAra bnegaa'| 'lekina Upara vAlA sarasUbedAra to mujhe jhir3akegA na! kyA vaha Apako DA~TegA?' sarasUbedAra kise DA~TatA hai? praznakartA : sUbedAra ko| dAdAzrI : unheM kyoM DA~TegA? sarasUbedAra to mujhe DA~TegA, usa samaya kyA ve sunane Ae~ge? ataH ye to mujhe jAla meM pha~sAne ke lie aisA kara rahe haiM lekina mujhe kahIM jAla meM nahIM pha~sanA hai| isIlie ina logoM ne sUbedAra banAne kI vyavasthA kii| maiM samajha gayA ki ye loga apane svArtha ke lie sabakucha kara guj'reNge| 'ina saba ke sukha kI khAtira

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[2.2] maiTrika phela mujhe sUbedAra banAnA cAhate haiM ye loga', yaha maiM samajha gayA thA / isameM unakI dAnata kharAba hai, merI dAnata aisI kharAba nahIM hai / 55 hamane isalie janma nahIM liyA hai ki koI hameM jhir3ake maiM to bahuta svataMtra miz2Aja kA thA isalie maiMne socA ki yadi mujhe sUbedAra banAe~ge to mere Upara sarasUbedAra hogA yA nahIM hogA ? vaha DA~TegA yA nahIM DA~TegA ? bekAra hI sarasUbedAra mujhe jhir3akegA / ataH mujhe sarasUbe kA sunanA pdd'egaa| sUbedAra banU~gA to mujhe unheM 'sAhaba jI' kahanA pdd'egaa| vaha sarasUbedAra mujhe gAliyA~ degA, DA~TegA / mana meM aisA saba ghusa gayA thaa| koI DA~Te to mujhe acchA nahIM lgegaa| hameM yaha saba nahIM caahie| hameM yaha dhaMdhA nahIM karanA hai / tabhI se mujhe to upAdhi ( bAhara se Ane vAlA duHkha) ho gii| vaha apanI patnI se lar3akara AyA hogA na, to hamAre Upara cir3hatA rhegaa| are mue, maiM yaha nahIM jAnatA thA ki tU mujhe DA~TegA varnA istIphA dekara calA jaataa| terI sarakAra tere ghara para rahI aura tU tere ghara, hama to ye cale! hamane koI jhir3akI khAne ke lie janma nahIM liyA hai, bhAI / kyA hamane isalie janma liyA hai ki tU hameM jhir3ake ? aisA to tU kyA de degA ? nahIM cAhie kucha bhI, phira UparI kyoM ? vaha sUbedAra hameM DA~TegA to kaise pusAegA ? maiMne socA, 'mujhe yaha nahIM caahie| bhAI, mujhe sUbedAra nahIM bananA hai'| to usake bajAya sUbedAra kI yaha vAlI jagaha acchI hai yA nahIM ? praznakartA : yaha sUbedAra nahIM kahalAegA, dAdA / dAdAzrI : haM ? praznakartA : yaha to sUbedAroM kA sUbedAra, sarasUbedAra ! dAdAzrI : mujhe koI nahIM DA~Te / DA~Tane vAlA nahIM cAhie, baoNsa nahIM caahie| mujhe duniyA kA baoNsa bhI nahIM cAhie kyoMki bar3I muzkila

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jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) se yaha janma milA hai phira vahA~ para bhI phira koI DA~Tane vAlA mila gyaa| chor3a bhAI, zAyada hI kabhI manuSya kA janma milatA hai aura tU vApasa DA~Tane vAlA nikalA! to bhAI aise janma kA kyA karanA hai, yadi DA~Tane vAlA mila jAe to? hameM koI mauja-maz2e kI cIz2a nahIM cAhie phira bhI hameM ddaaNttegaa| jise mauja-maz2e kI cIz2a kI z2arUrata ho use bhale hI DA~Tane vAle mileM lekina mujhe to aisA kucha bhI nahIM cAhie thaa| isalie maiMne taya kiyA, cAhe maiM pAna kI dukAna khola dUMgA lekina isa taraha DA~TanA nahIM clegaa| mujhe jitanA cAhie utanA hI khAnA hai bhAI, kyA bahuta sArA khA jAe~ge? itanA sA khA pAte haiM aura DA~Tane vAle bahuta sAre, aisA to mujhe nahIM pusaaegaa| isalie maiMne socA, 'yaha rAstA mujhe acchA nahIM lgegaa'| yAnI maiM bacapana se hI sAvadhAna ho gayA thaa| mujhe baoNsa nahIM milanA caahie| pichale janma meM baoNsa kI bAta se mujhe koI maz2A nahIM AyA hogA isalie pahale se hI cir3ha thI ki mujhe baoNsa nahIM caahie| maiMne to par3hate samaya hI taya kara liyA thA ki mujhe sira para sarasUbedAra nahIM caahie| bekAra hI, binA bAta ke sUbedAra DA~TegA! mujhe koI DA~Te, to aisA Ai DonTa vaoNnTa (mujhe nahIM caahie)| yaha saba kyoM bhalA? sirpha lAlaca ke lie na? kisa cIz2a kA lAlaca? lekina usakA kyA karanA hai ? mana kA bhikhArIpana hai eka taraha kA! koI lAlaca ho tabhI UparI rakhate haiM, mujhe koI lAlaca nahIM hai| maiM lAlacI nahIM huuN| mujhe kyA lenA hai ki sUbedAra mujhe DA~Te? vaha isIlie na, ki tIna sau rupae kI tanakhvAha ke lie jA rahA hU~? mujhe tIna sau kI tanakhvAha nahIM caahie| baoNsa DA~TatA hai rupayoM ke lie| Aga lage tere rupae ko! ghara meM kyA UparI kama haiM jo nae UparI banAU~ ? jinase zAdI kI hai unase aisA kaha dU~gA ki 'thor3A mile na, to hama thor3e meM samAveza kara deNge'| hIrA bA se zAdI to kI na! eka to maiMne zAdI kI, vaha mujhase bhUla huI lekina yaha phira nayA saMbaMdha bar3ha

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[2.2] maiTrika phela jAegA! zAdI karake pha~se to sahI na, lekina nae pha~sAva meM sUbedAra to nahIM bane na! ataH maiM isa duniyA meM baoNsa banAnA hI nahIM cAhatA thaa| jo honA ho vaha ho jAe isa duniyA kA lekina maiM baoNsa nahIM banAU~gA, svIkAra hI nahIM kruuNgaa| naukarI nahIM karU~gA, aisA khaa| isalie maiM saMbhalakara calane lagA ki yadi maiM sUbedAra bana jAU~gA to sarasUbedAra mujhe ddaaNttegaa| UparI to cAhie hI nahIM mujhe| yoM ghara ke mA~-bApa haiM, ve kyA kama UparI haiM ! ve kucha kama haiM, unakA to cukAnA hI par3egA na RNa? phira vAipha AIM, ve bhI UparI mAnI jAe~gI na? phira vApasa dUsare UparI kahA~ banAU~? mujhe aisA UparI nahIM caahie| eka to pitA jI DA~Tate haiM, bar3e bhAI DA~Tate haiM aura phira yaha nayA DA~Tane vAlA bar3hAU~! aba nahIM cAhie DA~Tane vaale| jo haiM unakA to niber3A lA dUMgA lekina vApasa nayA kahA~ banAU~ ? mujhe DA~Tane vAlA acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| jo bhagavAna se bhI na dabeM ve kisase dabeMge? mujhe to sira para bhagavAna bhI nahIM cAhie to isa sarasUbe ko kahA~ car3hAU~? yaha eka Upara hai vaha bhI mujhe nahIM pusAtA to yaha sarasUbedAra kaise pusAegA? maiM to teraha sAla kA thA taba maiMne yaha taya kiyA thA ki mujhe sira para bhagavAna bhI UparI (baoNsa, variSTha mAlika) nahIM caahie| yadi bhagavAna UparI hoMge to phira jIne kA artha hI kyA hai? ___ maiM bhagavAna ke tahata bhI nahIM rahanA cAhatA thA, lekina kyoM? jo bhagavAna se bhI nahIM dabatA, vaha kisase dabegA? yoM kisI se dabe hue nahIM raha skte| yAnI maiMne taya kara liyA ki mujhe to sira para bhagavAna bhI nahIM cAhie, nahIM cAhie, nahIM cAhie lekina isa saMsAra meM bhI koI UparI nahIM caahie| praznakartA : hA~, zAlibhadra kI taraha sira para koI mAlika nahIM caahie|

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jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) dAdAzrI : tabhI khuda aisA kaha sakatA hai na ki maiM sUbedAra nahIM banU~gA / pacAsa rupae meM pAna kI dukAna lagAU~gA lekina mujhe UparI nahIM cAhie / 58 'AI DonTa vaoNnTa TU sarva enIbaDI' mujhe koI UparI nahIM caahie| dUsarA maiMne yaha taya kiyA thA ki kisI kI naukarI bhI nahIM karU~gA / mujhe kahIM logoM kI naukarI karane ke lie janma nahIM diyA gayA hai / maiMne yaha bacapana se hI taya kara liyA thA ki agara naukarI karanI par3I to isa jIvana kA koI artha hI nahIM hai na ! naoNnasensa cIz2a hai vaha / hama to choTI se choTI, koI pAna kI dukAna jaisI dukAna lekara baiTha jAe~ge tAki hameM jaba bhI, bAraha baje yA eka baje jAnA ho taba apane ghara jAkara so sakate haiM, dukAna baMda karake / naukarI karanA to mujhe bahuta hI bar3A duHkha lagatA thA / yoM hI jAnA acchA hai lekina naukarI kA matalaba to baoNsa mujhe DA~TegA ! saba se bar3A roga hai yaha! lekina usa roga ne mujhe bahuta prakAra se bacAyA / maiM to naukarI karane vAlA iMsAna hI nahIM thA / mujhase to naukarI ho hI kaise pAtI ? naukarI rAsa hI nahIM AtI thI / yadi sUbedAra banA do phira bhI mujhe naukarI nahIM caahie| tabhI to maiMne kahA na, mujhe sUbedAra nahIM bananA hai| loga klarka banane meM bhI khuza the aura mujhe sUbedAra banane kI bhI icchA nahIM thI kyoMki merA dhyeya kyA thA ? aura cAhe kaisI bhI khumArI ho para maiM kisI kI sarvisa to karU~gA hI nahIM / AI DonTa vaoNnTa TU sarvisa enIbaDI / sarvisa karane kA merA kAma hI nahIM hai / maiM pAna kI dukAna lagA lU~gA lekina svataMtra vyApAra kruuNgaa| itanI tumAkhI (hekar3I, ghamaMDa) ! kyA baiMka meM rupae the ? nahIM! rupae-vupae nahIM the lekina aisA rauba thA aMdara ! aura phira vaha bhI kurUpa rauba ! kaisA? suMdara rauba ho to bAta alaga hai, rauba bhI kurUpa ! maiMne to bhagavAna jAne pichale janma meM aise bhAva kie the ki ye jiMdagI logoM ko beca nahIM denI hai / itanI acchI jiMdagI beca nahIM denI hai ! ataH 'naukarI to karU~gA hI nahIM', aisA taya kiyA thA /

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[2.2] maiTrika phela __59 aMta meM pAna kI dukAna lagA lU~gA lekina svAvalaMbI rahU~gA Akhira meM eka dosta ne mujhase kahA ki naukarI ke bagaira tU karegA kyA? bar3e bhAI nikAla deMge taba tU kyA karegA? maiMne kahA, 'maiM to, jo merI marjI meM AegA, vaha kAma karU~gA nahIM to ghara Akara so jaauuNgaa| lekina kAma karake maiM svAzrayI rahU~gA, maiM parAzrayI nahIM rhuuNgaa| choTA-moTA hI sahI lekina vyApAra kruuNgaa| kucha na huA to Akhira meM pAna kI dukAna lagA duuNgaa'| mujhe ThIka lagegA usa samaya dukAna baMda karake ghara jAkara so jAU~gA, nahIM to zAstra par3hane lguuNgaa| hameM dopahara ke Der3ha-do baje sone kI Adata hai to ghara jAkara dopahara ko bAraha baje khAnA khAkara ArAma se so jAnA ho to dukAna baMda karake ArAma se so to sakate haiM! koI UparI nahIM hogA na! pAna khatma ho gae aura ghara jAkara so gae, basa! zAma ko cAra baje Akara vApasa kholeMge aura taba phira pUre dina pAna cupar3ate rheNge| lekina yaha parataMtratA nahIM pusaaegii| Upara baoNsa DA~TatA rahe binA bAta ke! aTUTa bharosA khuda ke prArabdha para svataMtra jIvana hI pasaMda thaa| hAlAMki vyApAra regyulara (sahI tarIke se) karanA hai lekina jIvana svtNtr| mitra loga kaheM ki calo cAra dina kahIM para jAe~ to baMda karake cala par3ate the| prArabdha ko mAnane vAlA iMsAna thA ki 'maiM apanA lekara AyA huuN| praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : merA sabhI sAmAna lekara AyA hU~, isalie phira mujhe aura koI parezAnI nahIM AegI na? kucha prayatna bhI karane caahie| prayatna hI karane haiM, bs| phira apane Apa hI phala milatA rahegA na! usase apanI gAr3I calatI rhegii| z2arUrateM kama isalie AtA hai nibhAnA thor3e meM pAna kI dukAna ho to thor3e-bahuta rupae baceMge to ghara calAe~ge

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jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) I aura so jaaeNge| hameM aisA koI lobha nahIM hai / hameM jo thor3A-bahuta mila gayA, vahI ! tIna rupae mile to tIna meM calAe~ge, do mile to do meM calAe~ge, mujhe saba taraha se calAnA AtA hai / kama se kama paise meM nibhAnA AtA hai, menTanansa karanA AtA hai| kyoMki merA svabhAva kaisA hai ? maiM kSatriya hU~ lekina kama se kama z2arUrateM haiM aura parigraha to mujhe pahale se hI bojha lagatA hai I 60 aisA hai ki loga roz2a kA eka rupae meM calA sakate haiN| una dinoM tIsa rupae tanakhvAha milatI thI, klarka ko / ataH sAmAnya vyakti to mahIne ke tIsa rupae meM pUrA, hara prakAra se kAma pUrA kara lete the| taba mere mana meM aisA thA ki ina logoM ko tIsa meM karanA AtA hai to mujhe bAIsa meM karanA AtA hai| yAnI thor3e meM samAveza karanA AtA hai aura itanA hunara hai ki kisI ke sAmane hAtha nahIM phailAnA pdd'e| merA kharcA kama hai| maiM to aisA iMsAna hU~ ki jitane kama kharce meM kaheM na, utane kama kharce meM samAveza kara lU~ / taba phira hai koI aura parezAnI ? yaha to jise aizo-ArAma kI z2arUrata hai usake lie hai / usameM maiM bahuta kaMTrola kara sakatA huuN| mujhe jaba z2arUrata nahIM hogI taba so jAU~gA aura z2arUrata hogI taba uTha jaauuNgaa| praznakartA: ThIka hai I dAdAzrI : Aja pAna ke grAhaka nahIM Ae to kyA ho gayA, kucha bigar3a jAegA ? kala aaeNge| sAtha meM yaha bhI dekhate the na, ki 'maiM apanA lekara AyA hU~ / mujhe aisA kucha nahIM caahie| mujhe koI lAkha, do lAkha, yA paccIsa lAkha, yA mujhe koI baiMka nahIM kholanA hai / mujhe baiMka kA kyA karanA hai ? isa peTa meM khAne lAyaka caahie| vaha bhI eka-do - pA~ca Azrita hoMge unake lAyaka, aura kyA jhaMjhaTa hai hameM ? mere pAsa kama hogA to clegaa| khicar3I aura sabz2I, isase Age icchA nahIM hai / cIjeM kama hoMgI to calegA lekina merI svataMtratA para breka nahIM clegaa| mujhe yaha parataMtratA bilkula bhI pasaMda nahIM hai| paravazatA AI DonTa vaoNnTa (mujhe nahIM cAhie), svataMtratA caahie'|

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[2.2] maiTrika phela taya kiyA ki mujhe maiTrika meM pAsa honA hI nahIM hai kyA AsapAsa kA saba sTaDI nahIM karanA cAhie? maiM to bacapana se hI sTaDI karatA thaa| sabhI loga jo lAina lete the, hama vaha lAina nahIM lete the| ghara se hameM sUbedAra banAnA cAha rahe the lekina sUbedAra ke sira para phira vApasa baoNsa, hameM to sira para koI baoNsa nahIM cAhie thA / praznakartA : Apake ghara naukara - naukara nahIM the ? dAdAzrI : nahIM bhAI / anDarahainDa rakhU~ to mere para baoNsa aaegaa| mujhe nahIM pusAegA yaha jgt| 61 I ataH tabhI se maiMne to gA~Tha bA~dha lI, maiMne taya kara liyA ki hameM sUbedAra nahIM bananA hai / isa varlDa meM koI DA~Ta de, aisA pada mujhe nahIM caahie| bolo, itanI khumArI ! kyA ho phira ? aMtara zraddhA aisI thI na ! isalie phira maiMne socA ki 'yadi maiM maiTrika meM pAsa ho jAU~gA tabhI ye loga mujhe sUbedAra banAe~ge na ?' maiMne bhI taya kiyA ki 'ye loga maiTrika meM pAsa karavAnA cAhate haiM lekina hama pAsa hoMge tabhI Age kucha hogA ! hameM pAsa hI nahIM honA hai, A jaao'| maiMne socA, ' bhAI apane matalaba meM haiM, pitA jI apane matalaba meM haiM, maiM apane matalaba meM hU~' / maiM samajha gayA ki agara phela nahIM hoU~gA to ye loga mujhe iMglainDa bheja deNge| maiMne taya kiyA ki maiTrika meM pAsa hI nahIM honA hai na ! phira kahA~ bhejeMge ? yadi maiTrika pAsa ho jAU~gA taba mujhe bhejeMge na ? phela ho jAe~ge to bhejeMge hI nahIM na! vaha bhArI par3egA na ! phira maiMne taya kiyA ki 'ye jo apanA taya kara rahe haiM to hameM bhI apanA taya kara lenA hai / hameM phela hI honA hai' / aba una dinoM hamArI umra paMdraha sAla kI thI isIlie maiMne ina logoM se kucha nahIM kahA, lekina par3hAI meM DhIla de dii| usake bAda maiMne citta ko anya cIz2oM meM dhakela diyaa| yAnI maiMne taya kiyA ki phela hI honA hai maiTrika meM ! isalie saba khulA chor3a diyaa|

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jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dhamakI dekara liyA phaoNrma praznakartA : phira maiTrika kI parIkSA dI thI, Apane? dAdAzrI : aThAraha sAla kI umra meM maiTrika kI parIkSA dene gayA to thA! lekina kaoNleja meM nahIM gayA thaa| isakA vaha jo hotA hai na (admit card), vaha nikAlakara dete the bhAdaraNa se| TheTha vahA~ yunivarsiTI kI parIkSA dene jAnA, kyA kahate haiM use? praznakartA : phaoNrma bhrnaa| dAdAzrI : kucha phaoNrma bharanA hotA thaa| usa phaoNrma ke lAyaka hone ke lie parIkSA to de dI thI lekina sAhaba phaoNrma nahIM de rahe the| praznakartA : dAdA, mAsTara jI ne Apako phaoNrma dene se manA kyoM kiyA? dAdAzrI : kisa cIz2a kA phaoNrma deM lekina? agara skUla meM jAte tabhI na? iz2z2atadAra (!) bahata the isalie phaoNrma jaldI de dete na! jhagaDAla, zarAratI-varAratI pUre hI, to phaoNrma turaMta de dete na! nahIM? pyAra to kucha nahIM hotA hai na, mAsTara jI ko! kisI mAsTara jI ko pyAra nahIM thA kyoMki mujhe par3hane para prIti hI nahIM thI na ! to mAsTara jI vahA~ para phaoNrma nahIM de rahe the, to phira dhamakI dekara liyA unase / maiMne kahA ki yadi phaoNrma nahIM doge to saba ke bIca maaruuNgaa| to jaba mAsTara jI ko mArane kI dhamakI dI taba phaoNrma diyaa| mAre bagaira nahIM choDUMgA Apako, agara phaoNrma nahIM doge to! isa taraha se phaoNrma liyA thaa| lo bolo, aise kaise akla vAle the hama! hama se z2yAdA to ye sIMga vAle acche na! vaha to baila hI hai jabaki yahA~ para to baila nahIM the phira bhI hama se Darate the| itanI zarArateM! to bar3I muzkila se mujhe phaoNrma diyA una logoM ne, gAliyA~ dete hue ki 'isa lar3ake ko denA nahIM hai phira bhI de do kyoMki yaha jhagar3AlU hai| bekAra hI jhagar3A kregaa'| ve samajhate the ki, 'yaha muA kahIM mAra

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[2.2] maiTrika phela degaa'| to dekho na, becAre usI vyakti ne jise maiMne yaha kahA thA usI ne mujhe Dara ke mAre phaoNrma de diyaa| praznakartA : phira parIkSA dene ke lie bar3audA gae the na? dAdAzrI : hA~, bar3audA, apane kaoNleja meM / yahA~ para phaoNrma diyA thA na, isalie vahA~ para gae the kaoNleja meM, vahA~ apanI yunivarsiTI meN| use kyA kahate haiM? praznakartA : esa.esa.sI. boNrdd| dAdAzrI : taba una dinoM esa.esa.sI. baoNrDa nahIM thaa| praznakartA : maittrikyuleshn| par3hAI kA bahAnA karake rahe haoNsTala meM aura kI mauja-mastI dAdAzrI : yahA~ bar3audA meM maiTrika kI parIkSA dene AyA thA, yunivarsiTI meN| bradara kaoNnTraikTara the, ve yahA~ para jogIdAsa viThThala kI pola (muhallA) meM rahate the| mujhe bhI vahA~ para rahanA thA lekina maiMne socA, 'ghara para rahU~gA to hameM inake davAba meM rahanA par3egA na! inake kaMTrola meM rahanA par3egA na! to yaha nahIM pusaaegaa'| yadi ghara para rahate to hama ghUmane nahIM jA sakate the, AnaMda nahIM kara sakate the, mauja-mastI nahIM ho sakatI thI isalie bradara se maiMne kahA, 'mujhase yahA~ ghara para rahakara par3hAI nahIM ho paaegii| maiM to vahA~ haoNsTala meM rhuuNgaa| haoNsTala meM mujhase par3hAI ho skegii| yahA~ para par3hAI kA TAima bekAra calA jAtA hai isalie maiM to parIkSA ke dinoM meM vahA~ haoNsTala meM hI rhuuNgaa'| bhAI ne kahA, 'hA~, vahA~ para rhnaa| bhale usake lie paise kharca hoN| tujhe yahA~ ghara para ThIka na lage to haoNsTala meM rahanA lekina khUba pddh'naa'| maiMne kahA, 'yaha bAta to mujhe bahuta acchI lgii'| ghara para nahIM rahanA par3A na! taba vahA~ haoNsTala meM rahA thA aura phira yahA~ haoNsTala meM Akara kyA kiyA? ArAma se pharsTa klAsa pUr3iyA~-vUr3iyA~, AiskrIma-vAiskrIma

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jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) khaaiiN| taba haoNsTala meM una dinoM dezI ghI kI pUr3iyA~, sabjI vagairaha, zuddha khAnA banAtA thA vaha mahArAja! bilkula DibiyA jaisI hI pUr3iyA~ aura ekadama gola laDDU jaisii| rAunDa dikhAI detI thIM, itanI-itanI sI hii| jaise Ajakala golagappe hote haiM na, golagappe kI pUr3I AtI hai na, utanI sI pUrI banatI thii| zuddha ghI kI pharsTa klAsa pUr3iyA~ aura ve isa taraha mu~ha meM DAlate the na, to mu~ha meM rakhate hI ve khula jAtI thiiN| zuddha ghI kI itanI acchI ki bAhara taka sugaMdha AtI thI, Adhe mIla tk| hameM bhI usameM TesTa A jAtA thaa| eka khAkara hI saMtoSa ho jAtA thaa| abhI to vaisI eka bhI pUr3I nahIM miltii| abhI to aisA bhojana bhI nahIM miltaa| abhI yadi bIsa-paccIsa rupae kilo ke bhAva se ma~gavAe~ na, taba bhI aisI pUr3iyA~ nahIM mileNgii| vaisI kitanI pUr3iyA~ khAte the? eka-do nahIM, kitane hI lar3ake to pacAsa-pacAsa, sAThasATha, sattara-sattara, assI-assI pUr3iyA~ khA jAte the ! unheM itanA zauka thaa| praznakartA : Apa kitanI khAte the, dAdA? dAdAzrI : bIsa-bIsa, paccIsa-paccIsa khAI thiiN| ve to bahuta acchI pUr3iyA~! vaha zuddha ghI, bAta hI kyA karanI! to Der3ha sau-Der3ha sau pUr3iyA~ khAne vAle loga bhI the| bhAI samajhate the ki par3ha rahA hai aura hama lete the AiskrIma kI liz2z2ata to haoNsTala meM rahe isalie ArAma se khAte the, masta rahate the aura phira zAma ko yA rAta ko sTezana para bAhara vahA~ AiskrIma kI kaI dukAneM thIM, vahA~ para AiskrIma khAne jAte the| yahA~ sTezana para usa tarapha dukAneM thI bhaiyAjI kI to vaha bhaiyA AiskrIma banAtA thA na! vahA~ para AiskrIma taiyAra rahatI thI to haoNsTala ke nAma para hama vahA~ para jAkara AiskrIma khAte the aura baiThe rahate the|

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[2.2] maiTrika phela bhAI samajhate the ki, 'hamArA bhAI parIkSA dene gayA hai, par3ha rahA hai vahA~ pr'| lekina maiMne taya kiyA ki 'hameM maiTrika meM pAsa hI nahIM honA hai| yadi pAsa hoMge tabhI ye sUbedAra banAe~ge na?' to roz2a sTezana para AiskrIma khAte the| maiM to parIkSA ke dina bhI bAhara ghUmakara, ArAma se AiskrIma-vAiskrIma khAkara aura parIkSA detA thaa| apane jaise hI mila jAe~, to gAyakoM ke sAtha meM calI gAr3I ___zAma ko AiskrIma-vAiskrIma khAkara aura do-tIna lar3ake milakara gIta gAte the| parIkSA dene Ae the lekina phira mujhe sabhI mere jaise mila hI jAte the na! eka-do gIta gAne vAle loga Ate the phira, mila hI jAte haiM na sb| apane jaise mila jAte haiM, DhU~Dhane nahIM jAnA par3atA thaa| jaMbusara kA eka gAne vAlA lar3akA mila gayA thaa| vahA~ para vaha mitra gAne gA rahA thaa| vaha bhajana gA rahA thA to gAr3I calI apanI, to usake sAtha baiTha jAte the ArAma se| to eka-do gAyaka mila gae the, ve gIta gavAte the aura phira to sabhI gAne lage lekina mujhe to gAnA nahIM AtA thaa| hamArA galA zurU se hI pahAr3I, hamArI saMgIta se nahIM banatI thI, isalie basa, hama to sunate the| rAma terI mAyA, gAnA vagairaha kucha bhI nahIM AtA thaa| jaisA cAhie thA usI yojanAnusAra hue maiTrika meM phela praznakartA : to phira parIkSA meM baiThe the? pepara die the? dAdAzrI : pepara-vepara saba diyA thA, jaisA AyA vaisA likhaa| praznakartA : phira maiTrika meM Apa phela ho gae na, dAdA? dAdAzrI : phela? acchI taraha se phela huaa| praznakartA : yojanAnusAra? dAdAzrI : yojanAnusAra phela huA thA, maiTrika meM phela huA, usakA kyA kAraNa hai? kyA muphta meM phela ho sakate haiM?

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66 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) phira yoM mauja-mastI karate-karate maiMne parIkSA dI to apanA hisAba A gyaa| 1927 (vikrama saMvata 1983-84) meM maiTrika meM phela huA! ArAma se phela huaa| mujhe jo cAhie thA, vahI ho gyaa| praznakartA : maiTrika meM Apako pAsa hI nahIM honA thA na, jAnabUjhakara... dAdAzrI : kyoMki icchA hI nahIM thI pAsa hone kI, nIyata hI kharAba thii| usa tarapha dhyAna hI nahIM diyA na! yadi dhyAna diyA hotA to pAsa ho jAtA lekina parIkSA meM dhyAna hI nahIM diyaa| yadi dhyAna dete taba pAsa hote na? aMgrejI meM par3hanA nahIM AyA mujhe| to usameM kucha par3hA-karA nahIM thA to pAsa kauna karatA hameM ? to maiTrika meM phela ho gayA, ArAma se| praznakartA : haM, ThIka hai| to isa taraha Apane laMdana jAne se manA kiyaa| dAdAzrI : manA nahIM kiyA thA, pAsa hI nahIM huA na khuda! pAsa hotA to mujhe Age bhejate na? isalie unakI dhAraNA TUTa gii| unakI sUbedAra banAne kI icchA thI lekina dekho na, sUbedAra nahIM banA to nahIM hI banA na! dekho na, nahIM to kyA hama bilkula hI mUrkha the? mujhe par3hanA thA yaha, 'sira para UparI nahIM cAhie' Apako kaoNleja meM par3hanA thA, to sabhI nimitta mila gae the na? praznakartA : aisA hai ki jaisI bhAvanA hotI hai vaisI siddhi prApta ho jAtI hai? dAdAzrI : hA~, Apako kaoNleja meM par3hanA thA to sAre nimitta mila gae na? aura nahIM par3hanA ho na, jaise ki mujhe nahIM par3hanA thA, to maiTrika meM phela hokara rhaa| merI nIyata hI nahIM thI na, par3hane kii| yAnI ki jise par3hanA ho, use saba mila jAtA hai| mujhe par3hanA thA yaha ki 'sira para koI UparI nahIM cAhie, bApa

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[2.2] maiTrika phela bhI UparI nahIM caahie'| vaha kaise pusAegA ? yAnI maiMne use svIkAra hI nahIM kiyA thA isIlie maiTrika meM phela huA thA / aba maiTrika meM phela ho jAte, aisA to nahIM thA / yoM AtA to saba thA, brilyanTa thA / dimAg2a to bahuta acchA thA lekina jAna-bUjhakara phela ho gyaa| 67 jAna-bUjhakara koI phela ho sakatA hai ? hama para jo bItI vaha hama hI jAnate haiN| hamArA dimAg2a sunna ho gayA parIkSA dekara / hama jAnate haiM na, ki hama para kyA bItI / kyA hama nahIM jAnate the ? jisake pAsa saMtoSa rUpI dhana hai use kyA duHkha ? praznakartA : lekina maiTrika meM phela hone ke bAda meM phira kyA kiyA ? T dAdAzrI : phira hamArA ghara kA biz2anesa thA kaoNnTraikTa kA / mere bar3e bhAI kaoNnTraikTa kA biz2anesa karate the| to maiMne kahA ki yadi bhAI itanI acchI taraha se, iz2z2ata se karane deMge to hama inake sAtha biz2anesa kareMge aura yadi bradara nahIM karane deMge, apamAna hI karate raheMge to hama pAna kI dukAna khola leNge| sAtha hI yaha bhI taya kiyA ki yadi phAdara yA bradara paisA nahIM deMge to? hama agara bhAI kI koI bAta nahIM mAneMge to phira bhAI chUne hI nahIM deMge to ? agara bhAI sahayoga nahIM deMge, asahayoga kareMge to mitra se kucha paise lekara, pacAsa rupae lekara pAna kI dukAna khola lU~gA, aisA taya kiyA thaa| unheM mujhe biz2anesa meM lagAnA hogA to lagAe~ge varnA hama apanI pAna kI dukAna khola deMge / jinake pAsa bacapana se hI saMtoSa rUpI dhana hai, unheM kyA duHkha ho sakatA hai ? jJAna nahIM thA phira bhI saMtoSa rUpI dhana thA / mukta hone ke lie suna lI thI kica-kica maiTrika meM phela huA taba phira bradara ne kahA, 'phela ho gayA ?' maiMne kahA, 'haaN'| phira bradara ne kahA, 'tU phela kyoM ho gayA? mahenata nahIM

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jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) kI thI kyA?' taba maiMne kahA, 'mahenata kI lekina aba pariNAma nahIM AyA to usameM maiM kyA karU~? dimAg2a nahIM cltaa| brena khatma ho gayA hai| aba kucha nahIM aataa| taba bhAI ne kahA, 'pahale to bahuta acchA AtA thaa'| maiMne kahA, 'vaha kucha bhI ho lekina brena khatma ho gayA hai, bekAra ho gayA hai ab'| ____ to bar3e bhAI ne kahA, 'le! isa vajaha se tujhe nahIM aayaa| are! phela ho gyaa| tujhe kucha nahIM aataa| sabhI sAla bigAr3a die'| maiMne kahA, 'jo huA so huA, aba Apa jaisA kaheMge vaisA kruuNgaa'| taba bar3e bhAI ne kahA, 'tU to phela ho gyaa| aba kyA karegA? tU agale sAla yaha parIkSA de| khUba mahenata kara phira se, aura pAsa ho jaa| tujhe vilAyata jAnA hai| maiMne bradara se kahA, 'mujhe isameM kucha nahIM aaegaa| kucha acchA nahIM hogaa| ataH isameM merA aura eka sAla kA nukasAna hogaa| pA~ca sAla laga jAe~ phira bhI pAsa nahIM ho pAU~gA balki TAima bekAra jaaegaa| pahale kucha dina taka to bradara bole, kica-kica kii| phAdara ne bhI kica-kica kii| hamane samajhA ki bhale hI kica-kica kareM lekina hama to chUTa jAe~ge na! 'merA bigar3a jAegA' aisA bhaya nahIM thA phira maNi bhAI ne kahA ki 'aba tujhe kyA karanA hai?' maiMne kahA, 'jo Apa kaheMge vahI kreNge| Apako ThIka lage to Apa kaho varnA maiM to apanI taraha se kucha bhI kara luuNgaa| mujhe jo ThIka lagegA aisA kucha bhI DhU~Dha nikAlU~gA apane lie'| mujhe isa prakAra kA koI bhI bhaya nahIM thA ki merA kucha bigar3a jaaegaa| kahA, 'jo Apa kaheMge vahI kruuNgaa'| aura hama to cane-muramure kI dukAna bhI lagAkara baiTha jAe~ge, sau rupae lgaakr| una dinoM sau rupae kI pU~jI kI hI z2arUrata thI na? taba phira maiMne kaha diyA, 'z2yAdA to kucha nahIM aataa| Apa paise

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[2.2] maiTrika phela nahIM deMge, kucha nahIM deMge, jAyadAda nahIM deMge to maiM apanI taraha se pAnabIr3I kI dukAna lagA duuNgaa'| lekina aisA kucha nahIM karanA par3A mujhe| kyA bhAI aisA karane dete? unakI iz2z2ata calI jAtI na! bar3e loga! choTA kAma karane dete kyA? taba phira bar3e bhAI ne kahA, 'nahIM! aisA choTA kAma hameM nahIM karanA hai| kyA kaha rahA hai tU?' maiMne kahA, 'maiM to kucha bhI kara luuNgaa| to unhoMne kahA, 'hama logoM ko aisA kAma nahIM karanA hai| hama loga aisA kAma nahIM kara sakate, hama to khAnadAnI iMsAna haiN| hameM aisA karanA cAhie kyA?' taba maiMne kahA, 'jo ThIka lage vaha kiijie'| bhAI ke sAmane bhI nahIM hue lAcAra to bar3e bhAI ne kahA, 'aba kyA karegA?' maiMne kahA, 'aba kyA karU~? hogaa| hisAba meM jo kucha bhI hogA, vaha hogaa| ApakA biz2anesa hai, Apa kaho to maiM Apake biz2anesa meM jaoNina ho jAU~, varnA agara Apa manA karate haiM to maiM bAhara koI dUsarA kAma kara luuNgaa| naukarI to maiM karU~gA nhiiN'| mujhe mere bar3e bhAI zurU se hI kahate the ki 'tU agara naukarI karane jAegA to koI rakhegA nhiiN'| taba maiMne kahA thA ki 'maiM naukarI karane nahIM AyA hU~, seTha banane AyA huuN| taba phira bhAI ne kahA, 'biz2anesa meM AnA hai? lekina phira kAma meM lage rahanA pdd'egaa'| maiMne kahA, 'biz2anesa meM Apa jitanA kahoge utanA kruuNgaa| Apa kahoge to mujhe harja nahIM hai| Apa jo kaheMge vaha kruuNgaa'| phira bhAI ne kahA, 'hA~, bahuta acchaa| to aisA kara na, apane biz2anesa meM AnA ho to A jaa| aura kahIM para mata jaanaa| usake bajAya apane ghara para hI raha aura yahA~ kAma karane A jaa| yaha kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma kara, cl'| parezAna hokara bar3e bhAI ne lagAyA biz2anesa meM taba maiMne kahA, 'bahuta acchaa| calo, sUbedAra bananA to ruka gayA apnaa'| svataMtra biz2anesa aura ghara kA biz2anesa to phira koI harja nahIM

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jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) hai na! jaba bhI kharce ke lie paisoM kI z2arUrata hogI taba mileNge| hA~, are! hoTala meM jA sakate haiM, cAya-pAnI pI sakate haiM, yaha ho sakatA hai, vaha ho sakatA hai| yaha mujhe bahuta acchA lagA, svataMtra to raha sakeMge aura dhyAna-vyAna karanA ho mana meM, satsaMga karanA ho, kitAba par3hanI ho to ho skegaa| par3hate jAe~ge aura kAma karate jaaeNge| usake bAda bradara parezAna ho gae ki aba yaha ulTe rAste jAegA, usake bajAya biz2anesa meM DAla do| taba unheM maz2abUra hokara kaoNnTraikTa ke biz2anesa meM lenA pdd'aa| taba maiM samajha gayA ki apanI dazA badalI hai| zani kI jo dazA thI, vaha utara gii| khumArI vAle ko sabhI cIjeM mila AtI haiM isa taraha kaoNnTraikTa kI lAina meM maiM dAkhila ho gyaa| phira maiM hamAre ghara ke hI biz2anesa meM ghusa gayA aura usameM se kaoNnTraikTara bana gayA, lekina sUbedAra nahIM bananA pdd'aa| dabA nahIM kisI se bhI, 'naukarI nahIM karU~gA' kahA thaa| kyA yaha manuSya janma kirAe para dene kI cIz2a hai ? eka mahIne kA kirAyA kitanA lete haiM ? do haz2Ara / to kahA, roz2a ke sATha-paiMsaTha rupae kA kirAyA huA na! isake bajAya to eka mazIna de deM to sarakAra sau rupae kirAyA degii| mazIna kA kirAyA detI hai yA nahIM detI sarakAra? ataH maiM kirAe para nahIM gayA, bhAI! baila kA roz2a tIsa rupayA kirAyA AtA hai aura isakA kirAyA pcaas-saatth| to bhAI isameM terA upayoga ho rahA hai! isa para z2arA sI bhI zarma nahIM AI tujhe? lekina kyA kare? kahA~ jAe becArA? usake lie to khumArI (rauba, iz2z2ata) honI cAhie na! kyA honI cAhie? praznakartA : khumArI honI caahie| dAdAzrI : aisA hai ki khumArI vAle ko sabhI cIz2a mila jAtI haiM! ahaMkAra vAle ko nahIM miltii| ahaMkAra aura khamArI meM pharka hai yA nahIM?

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[2.2] maiTrika phela 71 praznakartA : hai| pharka to hai| dAdAzrI : khumArI yAnI rauba vaalaa| jisameM hAtha DAle, turaMta hI usameM eksaparTa praznakartA : phira Apa bar3audA rahane cale gae? dAdAzrI : hA~, bdd'audaa| to turaMta hI biz2anesa karanA A gyaa| yoM brena acchA thaa| biz2anesa meM jahA~ hAtha DAlatA vahA~ mujhe karanA A jAtA thA, mujhe dera hI nahIM lagatI thii| jo bhI do na, usameM eksaparTa hone meM dera hI nahIM lagatI thii| mahIne bhara meM eksaparTa ho jAtA thaa| hAtha DAlate hI turaMta karanA A jAtA thA mujhe| abhI agara yahA~ pacAsa moTeleM cala rahI hoM, to maiM akelA yahA~ baiThe-baiThe unakA mainejamenTa (saMcAlana) orgenAiz2a kara sakatA huuN| praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : mujhe aura kucha nahIM AtA thA lekina 'hAU TU oNrgenAiz2a', Apako lagatA hai ki aisI koI pAvara hai? praznakartA : hai, daadaa| dAdAzrI : isalie phira chaH mahIne meM to saba oNla rAiTa ho gyaa| usameM eksaparTa ho gyaa| yoM brena acchA thA na, isalie biz2anesa meM pakar3a lI lagAma, lagAma pakar3a lii| phira sAla bhara meM lagAma hAtha meM hI le lii| do sAloM meM to pUrI sUjha par3ane lagI, bahuta acchI sUjha par3ane lagI, lekina svataMtra kAma cAhie thaa| biz2anesa meM to koI kahane vAlA nahIM thA na! bar3e bhAI to mere bhAI the, usameM koI harja nahIM thaa| bAkI, koI aura kahane vAlA to nahIM thA na! unhoMne mujhe sUjha par3ane dI aura phira mujhe kabhI DA~TA nhiiN| isa taraha se sauMpa diyA thA na, jaise ki maiM svataMtra thA isalie vaha karanA A gyaa|

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72 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) to biz2anesa meM Der3ha sAla bAda to bhAI ne mujhase kahA ki 'tU to pharsTa naMbara le AyA, pharsTa! tU to hoziyAra ho gayA hai!' aura mere mana meM bhI pakkA ho gayA ki hoziyAra ho gayA hU~! phira mana meM lobha jAgA ki 'paise kmaae| biz2anesa acchA hai'| isalie phira usameM DUba ge| biz2anesa meM mujhe ruci Ane lagI, paise kamAne kA rAstA milaa| phira kArakhAne lagAe aura bAkI saba, aise karake dina bitaae| biz2anesa kA aisA saba kAma to AtA thaa| kaoNmanasensa thA na, to sabhI cIz2oM kA vivaraNa kara letA thaa| bacapana se hI vivaraNa (analysis) karanA AtA thA lekina ye par3hAI ke pothe-kitAbeM-vitAbeM par3hanA, yaha kyA dhAMdhalI hai? yaha nahIM pusAegA na! jo gulAmI meM se mukta kare, vahI vAstavika jJAna maiTrika meM phela ho gyaa| bolo, aba merI samajha va akla dekha lI Apane? praznakartA : isameM akla kA kAma nahIM hai| dAdAzrI : lekina maiM kamaakla kahalAyA ki kamaakla thA isalie maiTrika meM phela ho gayA lekina kyoMki maiM kamaakla thA isalie mujhe yaha karanA A gyaa| pAsa nahIM huA, varnA maiM usI meM bhaTakatA rahatA aura sUbedAra kI naukarI karanI par3atI aura sarasUbedAra jhidd'ktaa| jo jJAna hama jAnate haiM vahI hameM gulAma banAtA hai| phira vaha jJAna kisa kAma kA? jo gulAmI meM se mukta kare, use jJAna kahate haiN| balki agara maiM pAsa ho gayA hotA to sUbedAra bana jAtA, vaha to balki gulAmI thii| taba phira sarasUbedAra mujhe jhir3akatA rahatA lekina kudarata ne iz2z2ata rkhii| pUrI jiMdagI naukarI nahIM karanI pdd'ii| mujhe to UparI nahIM cAhie thA isalie naukarI karane kA maukA hI nahIM aayaa| vicAra bhI nahIM AyA naukarI karane kA lekina eka bAra socanA par3A thA kucha dera ke lie, eka hI dina ke lie taba jaba yahA~ se rUThakara calA gayA thA, ghara se|

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[2.2] maiTrika phela taba buddhi ke Azaya meM par3hAI nahIM thI, AtmA DhU~Dha nikAlanA thA isalie maiTrika meM phela ho gyaa| buddhi ke Azaya meM naukarI karane kI icchA nahIM thI ki 'basa, naukarI nahIM kruuNgaa'| to naukarI nahIM kI aura kaoNnTraikTa kA biz2anesa kiyaa| yAnI ki sabakucha buddhi ke Azaya ke anusAra hotA hai| ___ vyavahAra se maiTrika phela, adhyAtma meM TaoNpa loga mujhase kahate, 'dAdA, Apane kahA~ taka par3hAI kI hai?' vaha sAinTiphika sarakamasTenziyala eviDensa, da varlDa iz2a da paz2ala iTaselpha, deyara Ara TU vyU poinTsa, aisA saba kahate haiM na, islie| praznakartA : aura vaha zabda bhI AtA hai na, ApakI kitAba meM, 'DiscArja hone denA lekina cArja mata hone denaa'| dAdAzrI : hA~! ye itane zabda lekina leMgveja hAI ho gaI na! taba phira sabhI mujhase pUchate haiM ki 'dAdA to bahuta hAi leMgveja bolate haiM na, bahuta par3he-likhe lagate haiN| ye dAdA to grejyueTa se bhI bahuta Age par3he hoNge| loga mujhase pUchate haiM ki 'dAdA jI, Apa kahA~ taka par3he haiM ?' maiMne kahA, 'bhAI, vaha bAta batAne meM maz2A nahIM hai| jyAdA nahIM par3hA hU~ bhaaii'| taba kahate haiM, 'lekina kahie to sahI kitanA par3he haiM?' maiMne kahA, 'to Apako kahA~ taka kI kalpanA hai?' to kahate haiM, 'grejyueTa se bhI Age gae hoNge'| maiMne kahA, 'maiM bahuta z2abaradasta par3hA hU~! maiM maiTrika phela huA hU~, 1927 (vikrama saMvata 1983-84) meN'| praznakartA : vyavahArika dRSTi se maiTrika phela hue haiM lekina AdhyAtmika dRSTi se to TaoNpa para haiN| dAdAzrI : usakA aMta hI kahA~ AtA! AdhyAtmika dRSTi se to jahA~ taka koI nahIM pahu~cA hai, vahA~ taka pahu~cA hU~ isIlie to kavi ne likhA hai, 'UparI ke bhI UparI, phira bhI nimitta!'

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jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) praznakartA : dAdA, itanA hI par3he haiM phira bhI 'sAinTiphika sarakamasTenziyala eviDensa' bola lete haiM na ? 74 dAdAzrI : vaha isa taraha se nahIM AtA / maiTrika phela vAle ko nahIM AegA aisaa| yaha to apane Apa hI nikalatA hai I yaha maiM jo bhI aMgrejI bolatA hU~ na, vaha kahA~ se bolI jAtI hai vaha mujhe bhI patA nahIM hai ! yaha kisa taraha se nikalatA hai, vaha to maiM bhI nahIM jAnatA!

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[3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e do rupae meM bAdazAha jaise aiza praznakartA : dAdA, Apake biz2anesa ke samaya kI bAta kIjie nA? dAdAzrI : biz2anesa meM Ane ke bAda se hameM paisoM kI kamI nahIM rahatI thii| ghara para to paise kI kamI dekhI thii| kaoNnTraikTa kA biz2anesa thA, to logoM se udhAra lAte aura sarakAra nakada detI thii| phira biz2anesa meM paisoM kI kamI kaisI bhAI? apane yahA~ kamI honI cAhie yA usa udhAra vAle ke vahA~? praznakartA : udhAra vAle ke vhaaN| dAdAzrI : hA~! apane yahA~ kaisI kamI? ataH hamAre kaoNnTraikTa ke biz2anesa meM paisoM kI kamI nahIM thI isalie jeba meM paise rakhe rahate the| do rupae hote the to cha:-sAta mitra pIche-pIche ghUmate rahate the, pUre dina kyoMki cAya-pAnI-nAztA vagairaha karate the| do rupae meM to zAma taka bahata kucha ho jAtA thaa| Ajakala to do sau rupae lekara jAe~ taba bhI nahIM hotaa| hama 1925-26 meM do rupae lekara nikalate the na, to cha:-sAta dostoM ke sAtha hI ghUmate rahate the pUre din| phira bhI zAma ko paise kama nahIM par3ate the| hamArI jeba meM kharca karane ke lie eka-do rupae rahate the na! praznakartA : hA~ jii|

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76 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : to do rupae kharca karate the isalie chaH-sAta dosta sAtha meM ghUmate rahate the| ve 'hA~ jI, hA~ jI' karate rahate the aura hameM vaha acchA lagatA thaa| 'hA~ jI, hA~ jI' karane vaalaa| praznakartA : do rupae meM? dAdAzrI : haaN| do rupae meM to cha:-sAta dosta pIche-pIche ghUmate the| to pahale una logoM kI sthiti kaisI hogI? hamAre pAsa do rupae, unameM se kucha milegA isa kAraNa se hamAre pIche-pIche ghUmate rahate the becaare| 'hA~ jI, hA~ jI' bhI kahane lagate the| abhI taka Apane aisA koI sukha dekhA hai ki do rupae meM itane dosta Apake pIche-pIche ghUmeM, haM? ghUmate haiM kyA pIche ? pahale to maMdI bahuta thI na! dopahara hotI thI to baDaudA jaise zahara meM bhI hamAre gA~va ke jo loga the, hamAre cha: gA~va ke paricita hote the, to unameM do-cAra loga to aise bhI nikalate the ki dopahara hote hI cAya pIne ke lie A hI jAte the| ghara para patnI se kahate the ki 'calo Aja, vahA~ jAkara cAya pI aaeN'| yAnI ghara para cAya bacAne ke lie eka mIla taka calate-calate Ate the aura vApasa eka mIla calakara jAte the| bacAyA kyA? to kahate haiM, 'caay'| abhI hai kyA koI aisI jhaMjhaTa? abhI to cAya pilAne para bhI khuzI nahIM hotI, khAnA khilAne para bhI khuzI nahIM hotii| una dinoM to kahIM dAvata hotI thI to usase cAra dina pahale se mannata mAnate the| khAnA acchA banatA thA na, to subaha se unake mu~ha meM pAnI AtA rahatA thaa| 'Aja to khIra khAnI hai, Aja khIra khAnI hai'| aura Ajakala to kisI ko khAnA khAne kI par3I hI nahIM hai na! yaha khAnA vagairaha khAnA kaba se baMda ho gayA? roz2a kI do-tIna cAya pInA zurU huA taba se| pahale to miThAI cakhI hI nahIM hotI thI na ! aba to nirI zakkara kI cAya milatI hai isalie phira svAda bigar3a gayA hai saba kaa| pahale to mIThA AtA thA to jaise bhagavAna mila gae! una dinoM paravala eka rupae ratala (454 gm) bikate the to gAyakavAr3a sarakAra ke vahA~ para khAte the| praznakartA : rAjA-mahArAjA ke vahA~?

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[3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e 77 dAdAzrI : hA~, sayAjIrAva mahArAja ke vahA~ / to hama kabhI navaTAMka (60 grAma) lAte the| phira ghara Akara usakI phA~ka karake eka-eka paravala ke tIsa-cAlIsa phA~ka karate the| akla vAle kA kAma hai ismeN| moTI phA~ka nahIM karate the aura phira mana meM kahate the ki 'hAza, Aja to paravala kI sabjI khAI, do Ane kA nvttaaNk'| usameM cAra logoM ne khaayaa| aise phaz2Ite the saare| abhI to dasa rupae kilo lAte haiM, phira bhI vaisA nahIM miltaa| vaisA saba hai hI nhiiN| pahale jaisA khAne kA kucha bhI hai hI kahA~? jitanI paise kI kImata, utanI hI iMsAna kI kImata do paisoM kI pharsTa klAsa cAya milatI thii| itanI acchI hotI thI vaha ! tIna paise dete the to spezala cAya detA thA, pharsTa klAsa dUdha vaalii| phira cAya bhI kaisI! praznakartA : abhI to vaisI pIne ko bhI nahIM milatI! dAdAzrI : sAr3he tIna rupae meM pA~ca ratala kA lipTana kI cAya kA ddibbaa| lipTana kA paika, DibbA lete the| usa cAya kA eka kapa pI leM na, to nazA rahatA thA eka-do ghaMTe taka to| abhI to aisI cAya hI kahA~ milatI hai ? yaha to ThIka hai| isIlie taba paise kI itanI kImata thii| dekho nA, aba paisoM kI kImata hI nahIM hai| lakSmI kI kImata bar3hane ke sAtha hI iMsAnoM kI kImata bhI bar3ha jAtI hai| jaba lakSmI kA bhAva bar3hegA taba yaha rupayA rupae jaisA phala degA aura taba iMsAna acche bneNge| abhI yaha rupayA phala hI nahIM detA hai na! hamArA to kaoNnTraikTa kA biz2anesa thA to sAta dostoM ko dina bhara cAya pilAte the, ghor3A gAr3I meM-baggI meM baiThAkara ghumAte the pUre din| saba sAtha meM hI ghUmate rahate the| do hI rupayoM meM! aura abhI to sau meM bhI pUrA na pdd'e| vaisA maz2A nahIM aataa| abhI vaise ghor3e bhI dekhane ko nahIM milate haiM na! hama jo ghoDA gADI meM baiThe haiM nA, vaise ghoDe aba dekhane ko bhI nahIM milte| ghor3e aise, bilkula rAjA jaise dikhAI dete the! aba to sabakucha calA gyaa|

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78 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA : vaha z2amAnA calA gyaa| dAdAzrI : lekina phira se aaegaa| rasa-kasa kama huA hai phaloM aura anAjoM meM maiM bAraha-paMdraha sAla kA thA taba khAne baiThatA thA na, to phira dAla pIne kA mana hotA thA, taba cupacApa dAla le letA thaa| vaisI dAla honI caahie| isa dAla ko to mu~ha se lagAnA bhI acchA nahIM lgtaa| isalie dAla khAtA hI nahIM huuN| yahA~, kisI ko vaisI dAla banAnI hI nahIM AtI na! __ arahara meM bhI svAda va guNa kama ho gae haiN| ina sabhI cIz2oM meM svAda va guNa kama ho gayA hai| binA svAda va guNa vAlA mAla hai yaha sArA aura khAda bhI rAsAyanika khAda DAlate haiM na! binA khAda vAlI koI bhI cIz2a hai kyA, mujhe batAo! binA khAda vAlI jo cIz2a hai, vaha maiMne dekhI hai| seMjana kI phalI, kaitha (stone apple), Ama vagairaha kuchakucha taraha kI cIjeM haiM, jinameM nahIM DAlate haiN| hamAre kaitha to mazahUra hai| dekho, kAma meM lene lage haiM na abhI, pahale to itane kaitha nIce gire rahate the, yoM hI sar3a jAte the| jAnavara bhI nahIM khAte the becaare| abhI eka bhI kaitha kaccA nahIM rahatA hai aura vaha kaitha to kaisA thA? hama bacapana meM hI jAte the dasa-bAraha sAla kI umra meM, to subahasubaha pA~ca baje jAte the taba Upara se girate the| itanA bar3A nAriyala jitanA hI, apanA yaha nAriyala AtA hai na harA! yoM tor3A jAe na, per3a para pakA huA to usakI sugaMdha dekhI ho to, Apa khuza ho jaate| abhI to loga bhI kaitha jaise ho gae hai na ! mujhe to, abhI jo Ama khAtA hU~ na, vaha acchA hI nahIM lgtaa| kitane hI sAloM se Ama khAtA hU~ lekina mujhe saMtoSa hI nahIM hotA kisI bhI Ama se, koI aisA Ama nahIM milatA jisase mujhe saMtoSa ho! kyoMki maiM jaba paMdraha sAla kA thA na, taba jo Ama khAe the, ve abhI bhI mere mana meM se bhulAe nahIM jAte ki 'aise bhI Ama hote the?' kyA

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[3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e Ama the ve sAre! ratnAgirI hAphUsa hote the, ve bahuta mIThe hote the aura miThAsa meM alaga hI taraha ke, miThAsa kA hI guNa rahatA thaa| lekina apane yahA~ dezI Ama hote the na? ve Ama bhI svAda meM bahuta acche lagate the| asala svAda ko nahIM pahacAnate Aja ke loga yaha kharabUje vAlI becane AI thI na, to maiMne pUrA hI ThelA dekha liyA lekina eka bhI kharabUjA mujhe acchA nahIM lagA kyoMki maiM purAne z2amAne kA iMsAna, kharabUje ko pahacAna ne vAlA iMsAna ki yaha mIThA hai, yaha phalAnA aisA hai, isakI chAla aisI honI cAhie, aisI sugaMdha AnI cAhie! maiMne kahA, 'ina kharabUjoM ko koI letA hai?' taba usane kahA, 'are! cAcA, abhI eka ghaMTe meM sabhI bika jaaeNge'| taba maiMne kahA, 'kaise?' to loga bilkula nAsamajha ho gae hai! unheM bhAna hI nahIM hai ki sahI mAla kauna sA hai! samajhate hI nahIM haiN| 'mujhe to terA eka bhI kharabUjA acchA nahIM lgaa| maiMne tujhe rokA, isalie ye cAra Ane le jA lekina mujhe kharabUjA nahIM cAhie' taba usa becArI ne manA kiyaa| vaha khAnadAnI thI na! praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : to usake bAda mujhe samajha meM aayaa| logoM ko miThAsa lagatI hai lekina mujhe kyoM miThAsa nahIM lagatI, isa bhojana meM? ye sabjI vagairaha saba meM miThAsa kyoM nahIM lagatI? praznakartA : to kyA patA calA? dAdAzrI : ye loga jo khAte haiM na, unhoMne vaha svAda cakhA hI nahIM hai na! jaise ki iMsAna ne agara bhIr3a hI dekhI ho to use to isa bhIr3a meM bhI bahuta ekAMta jaisA lgegaa| gAr3I meM khUba bhIr3a ho, phira bhI maz2A hI rahegA, use bhIr3a jaisA lagegA hI nahIM aura jisane ArAma dekhA ho yA jisane kama bhIr3a dekhI ho, use to vaha bhIr3a hI lgegii| praznakartA : ThIka hai|

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80 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : vaha saba to khatma ho gayA hai lekina phira se AegA vaaps| cAlIsa-paccAsa sAla se kar3avI bAriza ho rahI hai| bolo, kyA acchA ugegA usameM ? tIna sAla se thor3I-bahuta mIThI bAriza hone lagI hai| phira se mIThA anAja ugegA, acchA vaalaa| alabelI nagarI muMbaI aura IrAnI hoTala kI cAya praznakartA : dAdA, Apake z2amAne kI aisI koI bAta batAie na? dAdAzrI : hama 1928 meM muMbaI Ate the| una dinoM muMbaI nagarI bahuta suMdara thI aura bahuta acchI lAiTa thii| to 1928 se abhI taka kitane sAla hue? praznakartA : 56 sAla hue| (1984 meM) dAdAzrI : usa samaya kaisI alabelI nagarI thI yaha to! hama 1928 meM Ate the na, to myunisipAliTI kitanI acchI samajhadAra thii| z2arA sI bhI gaMdagI nahIM, saaph-suthraa| praznakartA : hA~, bahuta saphAI thI daadaa| dAdAzrI : aura abhI, yA to kahIM nAjAyaz2a kabjA hotA hai yA phira myunisipAliTI kA koI ghoTAlA hotA hai lekina abhI to aisA hI hai ab| praznakartA : ghoTAle vaalaa| dAdAzrI : yA to enkrocamenTa hotA hai kyoMki una dinoM yahA~ bAraha lAkha janasaMkhyA thI aura abhI (1984 meM) sattara lAkha ho gaI hogii| praznakartA : eka karor3a ho gaI hogI aba to| dAdAzrI : myunisipAliTI vAle bhI kyA kareM phira? taba yaha nagarI kitanI suMdara thI aura hara eka cIz2a kI kitanI phesiliTI milatI thI aura jagaha-jagaha para dukAneM, IrAnI kI hoTaleM, usakI cAya pIo to maz2A A jaae|

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[3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e 81 praznakartA : IrAnI kI cAya kI bahuta tArIfa hotI thii| dAdAzrI : hA~, jagaha-jagaha, kone-kone para milatI hI thii| hara eka kone para IrAnI kI dukAna hotI thii| tAjamahala hoTala se bhI acchI lagI IrAnI kI cAya praznakartA : tAjamahala hoTala kI cAya kI bhI bahuta tArIfa hotI thii| Apane vaha pI hai, dAdA? dAdAzrI : maiM eka dina gayA thA tAjamahala meN| tAjamahala meM hameM nahIM pusAtA na! maiMne kahA, 'calo tAjamahala kI cAya pIte haiN'| praznakartA : kisa sana meM? dAdAzrI : 1933 meM, pacAsa sAla ho gae haiM usa bAta ko| maiMne kahA, "calo, loga 'tAjamahala, tAjamahala' kahate haiM to hama bhI vahA~ jAkara cAya to pIe! dekhA jaaegaa|" to paise vagairaha lekara gae the| to bAraha Ane cAya ke lie aura hamane usa dina vaha cAya dekha lI bhaaii| ye tAjamahala ke aise ThATha haiN| ye sirpha jagaha ke aura bar3epana ke paise lete haiN| bAhara jo cAya eka Ane meM milatI hai, usI ke vahA~ para bAraha Ane lete haiN| yaha to eTIkeTa vAloM kA kAma hai! hameM to aisA saba eTIkeTa AtA nahIM hai na! praznakartA : lekina usa samaya meM bhI bAraha Ane lie? dAdAzrI : bAraha Ane lie the| hama chaH loga gae the, to sAr3he cAra rupae le lie| maiMne kahA, 'yaha to hameM nahIM pusAegA, isake bajAya to apanA IrAnI vAlA acchaa'| praznakartA : IrAnI kI cAya do Ane meM milatI thii| dAdAzrI : nahIM-nahIM! do Ane nahIM, eka aanaa| zurU meM eka AnA thA lekina eka Ane meM acchI... praznakartA : sirpha cAya hI pIte the yA nAztA bhI karate the?

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jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : una dinoM biskuTa vagairaha nahIM the isalie cAya ke sAtha pakaur3e hoMge lekina hama nahIM khAte the| cAhe kaisI bhI ho lekina IrAnI kI cAya acchI, mujhe to zAyada usakA (IrAnI kA) ceharA dekhane se hI cAya acchI lagatI hogii| gae pakaur3e khAne tIna mIla dUra praznakartA : pakaur3e to Apako acche lagate the na, to kahA~ khAte the? dAdAzrI : maiM pakaur3e khAne gayA thA bacapana meN| eka jagaha para tIna mIla dUra pakaur3e bahuta acche banAte the| vaha jhopar3I meM banAtA thaa| vahA~ para bAz2Ara meM acchI hoTaleM chor3akara vahA~ bhaiyAdAdA ke jhopar3e meM khAne gae the| khAne ke bAda maiMne kahA, 'kahanA par3egA bhAI! jisakA acchA ho vaha dUra dukAna lagAe, taba bhI calatI hai| rAste meM mila rahe haiM to yahIM khA le na cupcaap| to kahate the, 'nahIM, bhaiyAdAdA ke vahA~ maz2A AtA hai| aura taba vyakti ko vaha TesTa yAda raha jAtA thA ki aisA TesTa hai una pakaur3oM kaa| agara kisI dUsare ke pakaur3e khilA deM, taba kahate the 'ye unake nahIM haiN| bhaiyAdAdA ke nahIM haiM ye pkaudd'e'| itane yAda raha jAte the ve| hameM bhAtI thIM jalebiyA~ lekina khIra se cir3ha thI praznakartA : Apa hoTala meM jAkara aura kyA khAte the? dAdAzrI : kAma para jAne se pahale hoTala jAte the, aura jalebI bahuta acchI lagatI thI to sabhI mitra milakara, jalebI kA donA ma~gavAkara do-cAra khAte the| yoM ArAma se nAztA karake hama kAma para jAte the| lekina DAyarI meM hoTala kA kharca nahIM likhate the, 'phuTakara kharca' likhate the| praznakartA : jalebI kI taraha dUsarI miThAiyA~ bhI bhAtI thIM? dAdAzrI : nahIM! eka bAra bacapana meM jaba maiM khIra khA rahA thA taba

Page #148
[3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e ulTI ho gii| aba ulTI kinhIM aura kAraNoM se huI, khIra ke kAraNa nahIM lekina mujhe khIra se cir3ha ho gii| usake bAda se khIra dekhate hI ghabarAhaTa hone lagatI hai| isalie jaba mere ghara para khIra banatI thI taba maiM bA se kahatA thA ki, 'mujhe yaha mIThA pasaMda nahIM hai, to Apa aura kyA deMge?' taba bA kahatI thIM 'bhAI, bAjare kI roTI hai| yadi tU ghI-gur3a khAe to de duuN'| taba maiMne kahA ki, 'nahIM, mujhe ghI-gur3a nahIM caahie'| phira jaba ve mujhe zahada detI thIM, tabhI khAtA thA, lekina khIra ko to chUtA taka nahIM thaa| phira bA ne mujhe samajhAyA ki, 'bhAI, sasurAla jAegA taba kaheMge ki kyA isakI mA~ ne khIra nahIM khilAI kabhI? vahA~ tujhe khIra paroseMge aura tU nahIM khAegA to kharAba dikhegaa| taba phira thor3A-thor3A khAnA zurU kr'| isa taraha se mujhe paTAyA, lekina usase kucha badalA nhiiN| vaha cir3ha ghusI to ghusii| phaTI huI dhotI pahanI kalA se praznakartA : dAdA, Apako pahale se hI kisI bhI cIz2a kA hala nikAlane kI bahuta kalA AtI thI, ekAdha-do ghaTanAe~ batAie na ! dAdAzrI : mujhe (phaTe hue) kapar3oM ko silane kI chUTa thI lekina paibanda lagAne kI chUTa nahIM thii| bacapana meM eka bAra zAdI meM jAnA huaa| maiMne pahanane ke lie dhotI lI, to bA ne kahA, 'phaTI huI hai bhaaii'| to maiMne kahA ki 'maiM isa taraha pahanU~gA ki phaTA huA dikhAI hI nahIM degaa'| taba maiMne phaTI huI dhotI pahanI aura bA ko dikhAI lekina bA ko phaTA huA dikhAI hI nahIM diyaa| taba bA ne kahA ki 'tU bahuta kalA vAlA hai'| phira bhI, ve sArI kalAe~ pudgala (jo pUraNa aura galana hotA hai) kI karAmAteM haiN| pahale mujhe aisA lagatA thA ki yaha merI karAmAta hai aura maiM usI meM racA-basA rahatA thaa| lekina jJAna hone ke bAda maiM samajha gayA ki yaha pudgala kI karAmAta hai| are, yaha pudgala kI karAmAta to jar3a kI karAmAta hai| are, cetana kI kalA DhU~Dha nikAla na! pudgala kI karAmAta to baMdara bhI DhU~Dha nikAlate haiM, vaha to baMdara bhI karate haiN|

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84 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) eka meM se banAe do pAna praznakartA : jJAnI kI pudgala kI karAmAta bhI hameM jAnane meM maz2A AtA hai| dAdAzrI : bacapana meM roz2a pAna khAne jAtA thaa| to eka dina eka dosta sAtha meM thA lekina mere pAsa paise to eka hI pAna ke the| to kyA ho sakatA thA? lekina maiMne pAna vAle se kahA ki tU roz2a do, Dabala pAna detA hai to Aja tIsarA rakhakara bnaanaa| pAna vAle ne kahA 'vaha ThIka lagegA?' maiMne kahA, 'lgegaa'| to tIna pAna vAlA bIr3A liyA phira usameM se eka pAna nikAlakara dUsarA katthA lagAyA huA pAna usa para ghisakara dUsarA pAna banAyA aura dosta ko de diyaa| hama bacapana se hI jAgRti pUrvaka rahate the| isa taraha se rahate the ki hama se kA~ca ke pyAle phUTa na jaae| ur3A nahIM chIMTA kapar3e dhone meM bacapana meM hamAre vahA~ khetoM meM pampa rakhate the, boilara kA pAnI ThaMDA karane ke lie| usameM garama pAnI nikalatA thA, phrI oNpha koNstt| garama nikalatA thA isalie vahA~ para kapar3e le jAkara dho dete the| phira jo eka AkhirI kapar3A bacatA (pahanA huA kapar3A), use isa taraha se pAnI dhImA karake eka tarapha lAkara dho dete the tAki chIMTe vagairaha na udd'eN| z2arA bhI chIMTe nahIM ur3ate the| chIMTe bhI nahIM ur3eM, usa taraha se yoM thor3A sA nIce rakhakara nhaae-dhoe| agara sAbuna ke chIMTe ur3ate to vApasa dhonA pdd'taa| satraha sAla kI umra meM itanI buddhi to thii| itanI buddhi bhI na ho to kisa kAma kA? lekina jaisA isameM (vyavahAra meM) hotA hai, vahI tarIkA yahA~ para (jJAna meM) bhI hai| sabhI kapar3e dho dete the phir| nahAne ke bAda eka kapar3A bacatA thA, use bhI dhonA to par3atA hI thA na? lekina chIMTe na ur3eM, usa taraha se saMbhAlakara dho dete the| pahale dUsare kapar3e dho die sAbuna DAlakara, z2ora-z2ora se kuuttkr| usa samaya to yadi sAbuna ur3akara sira para lagatA

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[3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e taba bhI koI parezAnI nahIM thI lekina nahAne ke bAda sAbuna na ur3e, usa taraha se AkhirI kapar3A dho dete the| kyA dhonA nahIM par3egA? jaldI uThane ke lie kI thI kalA praznakartA : aura kauna se prayoga karate the Apa? dAdAzrI : eka bAra jaba maiM bAIsa-teIsa sAla kA thA, taba kahIM bAhara jAnA thaa| ghara para koI nahIM thA, akelA thaa| mujhe jaldI vAlI gAr3I meM jAnA thaa| bar3audA se sAr3he chaH-pone sAta baje jo gAr3I calatI hai, usameM / aura hameM to subaha uThane kI bahuta jhaMjhaTa thii| TheTha sAr3he gyAraha taka nAztA calatA thA rAta kA, to subaha-subaha uTha nahIM pAte the| praznakartA : sAr3he gyaarh| dAdAzrI : hA~... saste nAzte aura hoTala pharsTa klAsa aura aisA nahIM, aisA saba gaMdagI vAlA nahIM! taba phira maiMne socA, 'aba kyA kareMge? agara subaha nahIM uTha pAe to gAr3I chUTa jAegI aura kala subaha jaldI vAlI gAr3I meM jAe bagaira koI cArA nahIM hai'| bAIsa sAla kI umra aura khilaMdar3a z2iMdagI, isalie phira maiMne kalA DhU~Dha nikaalii| maiMne kahA, 'nala khulA rakho aura bAlTI para eka thAlI rakha do' to maiMne eka thAlI isa taraha rakha dI aura nala kholakara so gyaa| isalie tAki AvAz2a hotI rhe| to phira bAlTI para thAlI rakhI thI na, to subaha thAlI para pAnI kI dhar3a-dhar3a AvAz2a huii| vaha bhI pAnI kA samaya khatma hone para baMda ho gii| aura phira meM pAva ghaMTe-Adhe ghaMTe bAda jgaa| sAr3he sAta baje uThA to gAr3I jA cukI thii| thAlI rakhI thI usakI bahuta AvAz2a huI lekina koI jAge taba na! subaha cUka gae aura bhAI akele the isalie ArAma se sUryanArAyaNa ke Ane ke bAda utthe| prayoga to sabhI karake dekhe| aba thAlI kI aisI AvAz2a hone para

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86 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) bhI nahIM uTha pAe to ghar3I kI ghaMTI bajane se kyA hotA? pahale kI ghar3iyoM meM ghaMTI ghUmatI thI na, vaisI ghaMTI vAlI ghar3iyA~ kama AtI thiiN| pahale cAbI vAlI ghar3iyA~ nahIM thiiN| pahale to ghar3I jeba meM rakhate the na, ve vAlI ghdd'iyaaN| ve (uThAne ke) kAma meM nahIM AtI thiiN| javAnI meM bAIsa sAla kI umra aura subaha kI nIMda kitanI bhArI hotI hai? aba una dinoM yaha jAnA nahIM thA ki pA~ca bAra pampiMga kI hotI ki 'subaha jaldI uThanA hI hai, uThanA hI hai' aise pampiMga karake so gae hote to pampa phuutttaa| taya karake so jA na ki mujhe chaH baje vAlI gADI se jAnA hai to 'pA~ca baje uTha jAnA hai' aisA taya karake pA~ca bAra bolakara aura phira so jA cupacApa oddh'kr| usake bAda ekadama se cauMkakara jAga jaaegaa| vaha jo bolA usakA riekzana AegA, nahIM bologe to nahIM aaegaa| praznakartA : aisA hotA hI hai, ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : hA~, riekzana AtA hai aura jo bolA thA, pampa mArA thA, vaha pampa to phUTe bagaira rahegA hI nahIM na! lekina aisA kie bagaira vahA~ para baiThA rhaa| bacapana se hI dera se nahAne kI Adata praznakartA : Apa jaldI nahA lete hoMge na, dAdA? dAdAzrI : bacapana se hI maiM nau, sAr3he-nau, dasa baje nahAtA thaa| to abhI bhI loga mujhase aisA kahate haiM ki 'dAdA Apako jaldI nahA lenA caahie'| aisA kahate haiM mujhe, taba maiM kyA kahatA hU~ ? 'hA~, aba se aisA kruuNgaa'| praznakartA : aura jaldI nahAne jAe~ to phira kahate haiM, 'dAdA, Aja kyoM jaldI nahAne gae?' dAdAzrI : vaha to aisA hI hotA hai na! kyoMki use vyavasthita kI khabara nahIM hai isalie aisA kaha dete haiM na, becaare| aura kyA vaha

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[3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e khuda jaldI kara sakatA hai ? bAkI, yaha sArI rIta-rasma, merI nahAne kI Adata Aja kI nahIM hai| vyApArI bana gayA phira bhI yaha kabhI badalA nhiiN| calate samaya dharatI hilatI thI abhI merA zarIra aisA dikhAI detA hai lekina jaba maiM solaha sAla kA thA na, taba muhalle meM jAtA, to Ate-jAte vakta logoM ko ghara meM bhI sunAI detA thA ki yaha dharatI hila rahI hai ! solaha sAla kA thA phira bhI z2amIna itanI hilatI thii| vaha to umra kI vajaha se bigar3a gayA hai yaha pUrA shriir| praznakartA : Apa bahuta sIdhe calate haiM aura ye saba aise jhukakara calate haiN| dAdAzrI : hA~, isa taraha calate haiN| teja kahA~ calA gayA hai ? aise kahIM calanA cAhie kyA? yoM isa taraha rauba se calanA caahie| koI dayA kare aisA kyoM kareM hama? kisI ko dayA dikhAnI par3e ki becAre ye bujurga bUr3he ho gae haiM aba! ahaMkAra kI vajaha se aMgUThA rakhe rakhA mujha meM sabhI ahaMkArI guNa the hii| eka bAra maiMne ahaMkAra kara diyA thA, merI kSamatA ke anusaar| una dinoM to bhArI ahaMkAra thA na ! bacapana meM hI mere dosta mujhase pUchate the ki 'tere a~gUThe ko diyAsalAI se jalAU~ to tU sahana kara sakegA?' maiM a~gUThA rakhakara kahatA thA ki 'jlaa| tujhe aisA bhAva huA hai lekina usameM yadi mujhe abhAva ho, to maiM mUrkha khlaauuNgaa'| dosta ko aisA bhAva huA ki terA a~gUThA kitanA sthira rahatA hai ? to mujhe bhI aisA bhAva utpanna huA, 'jA na, tU kahe utanA! tujhe jitanI diyAsalAI jalAnI ho utanI jalA, jaba taka tU thaka na jAe taba tk| dUsarI, tIsarI, cauthI, pA~cavIM diyAsalAI, tU kahe utanI baar'| taba usane kahA, 'mujhe yaha prayoga karake dekhanA hai'| usane eka diyAsalAI jlaaii|

Page #153
88 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) maiMne kahA, 'do nikAla! jalA!' aura do diyAsalAI jalatI rahIM taba taka a~gUThA sthira rakhA, z2arA sA bhI nahIM hilaa| cehare para asara nahIM aayaa| usake bAda usane mujhase kahA ki 'nA, aba mujhe nahIM karanA hai| aba rahane do| Apako nahIM lalakAra skte'| praznakartA : phira chAlA ho gayA thA na, dAdA? dAdAzrI : vaha to hogA hI na, lekina yaha maiMne dekhA ki mujha para asara nahIM huA thaa| ahaMkAra kyA nahIM kara sakatA? ye sAre kSatriya ahaMkAra se hI sabakucha bhugata sakate haiN| hama jAti se kSatriya kahalAte haiM na! kSatriyoM ke paramANu bahuta sakhta hote haiN| galA kaTane para bhI asara nahIM hotaa| isalie bhagavAna ne kahA hai ki kSatriyoM ke alAvA aura kahIM bhI tIrthaMkara gotra nahIM ho sktaa| kamAe paise nATaka ke kaoNnTraikTa meM praznakartA : Apa nATaka-sinemA dekhane jAte the? dAdAzrI : hA~, nATaka dekhe haiM maiMne to, lekina itane jyAdA nhiiN| nATaka yAnI choTe-choTe, jahA~ kama paise kI TikaTa thI vaise| hamAre gA~va meM nATaka dekhe the, bhAdaraNa gA~va meN| yahA~ zahara meM to hamArA AnA hI kahA~ hotA thA? hamAre gA~va meM jo choTI-choTI kaMpaniyA~ AtI thIM, ve nATaka dekhe haiN| ____ to hamane nATaka kA kaoNnTraikTa rakhA thaa| gA~va meM nATaka kaMpaniyA~ AtI thIM, unakA roz2a kA sau rupae meM kaoNnTraikTa rakha letA thA ki 'bhAI! Aja kI rAta ke zo ke maiM tujhe sau rupae dU~gA aura sArI jokhimadArI hmaarii'| to pA~ca-paccIsa rupae mila jAte the| hama TikaTa dete the to loga Ate the sbhii| acchA lAbha hotA thaa| ye rAvajI bhAI seTha bhI the bhAgIdAra (pArTanara)! usa nATaka meM vidUSaka kA rola karane vAle bhI hote the| vidUSaka yAnI ha~sAne vAle! AdhA nATaka karate phira kucha dera ke lie ha~sAne vAle loga Ate the| 'maiM khAparo, tU koDiyo (samAna pratidvaMdvI), jor3I bicchU

Page #154
[3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e 89 aura sA~pa kI, hai kyA buddhi kisI ke bApa kI?' aisA saba bolakara vidUSaka ha~sAte the, taba jAkara ye nATaka vAle paise kamAte the| yoM koI amIra ghara ke nahIM the ki yahA~ nATaka meM paise de? ghara para dUdha meM kamI karate the| phira eka dina mUsalAdhAra barasAta huii| taba saba ko kahalavA diyA ki 'Aja muphta hai| calo, calo, jaldI A jAo' / barasAta huI to koI A nahIM rahA thaa| taba maiMne kahA, 'bulA lAo, Aja AvAz2a do'| to DhiMDhorA pITane vAle se kahA, to phira vaha AvAz2a dekara aayaa| usane kahA, 'Aja muphta hai, jise nATaka dekhane AnA ho vaha Ae!' aisI hai yaha pUrI duniyA! eka bAra to pA~ca-paccIsa prekSaka hI Ae the, taba bhArI par3a gayA thaa| lekina ve koI aura hoMge jo divAlA nikAleM! pahale lagA thA ki sinemA se hindustAna bigar3a jAegA phira vaha nATaka vAlA gAtA hai, 'dekhA z2amAnA yaha kaliyuga kA, pApa kA vistAra hai| maiM khAparo, tU koDiyo, jor3I bicchU aura sA~pa kI, hai kyA buddhi kisI ke bApa kI?' maiM sA~pa jaisA hU~ aura tU bicchU jaisA hai, yAnI kyA buddhi kisI ke bApa kI hai? aisA hai yaha z2amAnA! nATaka meM aisA bolate the| hama paccIsa sAla ke hue usase pahale to sabhI nATaka khatma hone lge| pUrA z2amAnA badala gayA, kyoMki sinemA jAgRta ho gae the na! usa arase meM sinemA A gae the| nATaka kA patana huA aura isakA utthaan| tAMbe aura pItala kA patana huA, kAMsA aura sTenalesa sTIla kA utthAna huaa| aba jaba sTenalesa sTIla kA patana hogA taba naI cIjeM aaeNgii| yaha duniyA isI taraha calatI rahatI hai|| phira maiMne socA, 'ye loga to duniyA ko bigAr3a deNge| sinemA vAle to duniyA ko khatma kara deNge'| mujhe balki aisA lagA, ye kaise mUrkha loga haiM, aisA kyA DhU~Dha nikAlA? mujhe phUliza (mUrkhatA bharA) lgaa| kaise phUliza ho gae haiM ! Age bar3hane kI bajAya isa ora cale!

Page #155
90 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) kyA yaha aisI khoja hai ki pUre hindustAna ko mAphika Ae? yaha to patana kI aura le jAegA! taba loga kahate the ki 'aba loga bigar3a jaaeNge'| taba maiM bhI kahane lagatA thA ki 'loga bigar3a jaaeNge'| lekina vaha kucha hI samaya taka, sAla-do sAla taka mujhe aisA rahA hogA ki hindustAna ko kharAba karane vAlI cIz2a hai yh|| kaliyuga Age bar3ha rahA hai praznakartA : to Apa sinemA dekhane gae the? dAdAzrI : maiM bIsa sAla kA thA taba 1928 meM eka bAra sinemA dekhane gayA thaa| usa samaya sAilanTa sinemA the, TaoNkIz2a nahIM thaa| vahA~ para mujhe prazna huA thA ki 'arere! isa sinemA se apane saMskAroM kA kyA hogA? aura kyA dazA hogI ina logoM kI?' sinemA dekhane to kaI bAra gayA thA, lekina eka bAra aisA vicAra A gayA ki yaha sinemA to apane hindustAna ke sabhI saMskAroM ko hI hIna kara degA! pahale maiM sinemA kA virodhI thA ki isase to logoM ke saMskAra khatma hote jA rahe haiN| mujhe sinemA para gussA AtA rahatA thA ki yaha kaliyuga ghusa rahA hai, Age bar3ha rahA hai, sinemA dekhkr| phira to sinemA phailane lage aura sinemA meM logoM kI ruci bar3hI, taba maiM samajha gayA ki kaliyuga tez2I se A rahA hai| rAta ko cane lene bhejo to nahIM milate haiM na! do baje? praznakartA : do baje nahIM milate, bAraha baje taka milate haiN| dAdAzrI : cane to haiN| becane vAle bhI haiM, saba hai lekina kAla badala gayA hai na! kyA huA? cane vAle kI dukAna para jAkara agara hama AvAz2a lagAe~ ki 'bhAI, cane do'| to kahegA, 'subaha AnA, bhaaii| abhI yaha koI samaya nahIM hai'| isI prakAra samaya badalatA hai na! mahAvIra bhagavAna ko gae paccIsa sau sAla pUre hone ko aae| taba jJAnI puruSa nahIM mile the| milA thA koI? kyoMki kAla badala gayA hai ab| lekina duniyA ekadama se badala yA palaTa nahIM jAtI hai| usake bAda usakA asara hotA rahatA hai| aba ulTe asara ho rahe haiN|

Page #156
[3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e phira dUsarA vicAra AyA ki 'kyA aisA hI honA hai isa hindustAna kA? kyA isa vicAra kA koI upAya hai apane pAsa? koI sattA hai apane pAsa? koI sattA to hai nahIM, to phira yaha vicAra apane kAma kA nahIM hai| jisakI sattA ho, vaha vicAra kAma kaa| jo vicAra sattA ke bAhara ho phira bhI agara usake pIche lage raheM to vaha igoiz2ama ekAMta meM baiThane para aMdara se milA javAba phira eka jagaha ekAMta meM baiThakara socA, bahuta khaTakA, usake bAda aMdara se javAba milA, phira usase mujhe patA claa| aMdara se mujhe dhakkA lagA ki 'nahIM! aisA nahIM hai'| una dinoM hameM jJAna nahIM thA, jJAna to 1958 meM huaa| 1958 meM jJAna huA usase pahale to ajJAna hI thA na! kyA ajJAna kisI ne le liyA thA? lekina taba ajJAna meM vaha bhAga dikhAI diyA ki 'jo cIz2a ulTe kA jaldI se pracAra kara sakatI hai, vaha sIdhe kA bhI utanI hI tez2I se pracAra kregii| isalie sIdhe ke pracAra ke lie ye sAdhana bahuta acche haiN| jo sAdhana spIDa se kaliyuga lAte haiM, vahI sAdhana spIDa se kaliyuga ko nikAla deNge| jo bigAr3ane vAle saMyoga haiM vahI sudhAreMge sAtha-sAtha yaha bhI vicAra AyA thA ki jo cIz2a itanI spIDa se deza ko saMskArahIna kara detI hai, vahI cIz2a utanI hI spIDa se saMskArI bhI banA degii| jo bigAr3ane vAle saMyoga haiM, vahI sudhaareNge| yAnI jitanI spIDa se bigAr3ate haiM utanI hI spIDa se sudhAreMge aura aisA hI hogA, dekhanA na! ye sAdhana hI hameM saMskAra vAle bnaaeNge| usameM sAdhanoM kA doSa nahIM haiM, ve to mAtra nimitta haiN| isalie sAdhanoM kI parezAnI nahIM hai, sAdhana bhale hI phaileN| phira saoNlyUzana milA ki ye jo kharAba karane ke sAdhana Ae haiM

Page #157
jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) vahI sAdhana hindustAna ko sudhAreMge aura unnati kreNge| ataH ye reDiyoveDiyo, TeparikaoNrDa vagairaha hI sudhAreMge phira se| yahI saba sAdhana hindustAna ke lie kalyANakArI bana jaaeNge| aba ye sinemA vagairaha saba sIdhA kAma kreNge| jaba yaha sahana nahIM hogA taba ye sAre sIdhA kAma kreNge| aisA saba taba socA thaa| taba aMdara se javAba milaa| usake bAda unake prati baira nahIM rhaa| lekina jaba 1958 meM jJAna prakaTa huA tabhI se usake bAre meM bilkula bhI vicAra nahIM Ae the| jina sAdhanoM ne hamArA vinAza kiyA, ve hI sAdhana hameM sudhArane ke bahuta bar3e, acche sAdhana haiN| varnA kyA roz2a upadeza dekara kucha badala sakegA? isa taraha akhabAroM se kucha badala sakegA? use to ye sAdhana hI tez2I se vApasa lA deNge| ye sAdhana kitane bar3e haiN| praznakartA : ye sAdhana bahuta bar3e haiM isalie utanI hI spIDa se sudhAra deNge| dAdAzrI : utanI hI spIDa se sudhAra deNge| isalie koI bhI cIz2a nukasAnadAyaka nahIM hai| jaba aisA kAla AtA hai tabhI nukasAna hotA hai| ye sAdhana kalyANa ke bar3e nimitta baneMge praznakartA : duniyA meM Apa hI eka dharmAtmA hoMge, sinemA ko bhI acchA batAne vAle! dAdAzrI : yaha to acchI cIz2a hai| vIDiyo calAne para kyA hotA hai ? dAdA bAteM karate hue dikhAI dete haiM na? dekho na, nahIM to dAdA kaise dikhAI dete? yaha dekho na, dAdA jaisI hI bAteM sunAI detI haiM na? Aja jJAnI puruSa ke hAthoM (auraMgAbAda meM) sinemA thieTara ke opaniMga ke lie kaiMcI rakhI gaI, usa para bhI mujhe Azcarya hotA hai ! isa sinemA ke opaniMga para se darzana meM aisA AtA hai ki apanA jJAna yahA~ se (isa mAdhyama se) prakAza meM AegA! kyoMki yaha sAdhana, saMskAroM ko

Page #158
[3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e prakAzamAna karane ke lie eka z2abaradasta sAdhana hai ! isake pIche bar3e kaoNz2eja hoMge na? mujhe bhI Azcarya hotA hai ! praznakartA : pepara meM bhI abhI sArI kharAba bAteM hI AtI haiN| mana bigar3a jAtA hai pddh'kr| dAdAzrI : aba pepara itanA nukasAnadAyaka nahIM hai kyoMki jaba saMsAra acche bhAva meM AegA na, taba isa pepara meM acchI-acchI bAteM pddh'eNge| taba usake bhAva phira se bahuta suMdara bhI ho jaaeNge| pepara vItarAga hai| harijanoM kA tiraskAra acchA nahIM lagatA thA praznakartA : usa z2amAne kI aisI koI bAta thI jo Apako acchI nahIM lagatI thI? dAdAzrI : abhI to ye puNyazAlI paidA hue haiM sAre ki inhoMne DaoNlara dekhe| kyoMki dAnata acchI hai, tiraskAra nahIM hai logoM ke lie| hamArI prajA to kahA~ taka bigar3I huI thI! 'are, harijana ko kyoM chuA?' koI baccA harijana ko chU le bhUla se, usa para use jhir3aka dete the, 'tUne kyoM chuA use?' aisI prajA! yaha to, jJAnI hU~ isalie kyA bolU~ ? varnA agara rAjA hotA to goliyA~ calavA detaa| aisA karate ho saba? caina se jIne bhI nahIM dete| kutte-billI ghara meM ghusa jAe~ to calatA hai, aura ina harijanoM kA kyA? ye becAre pUre gA~va kI saphAI karane Ate haiM, ye saba saphAI karane Ate haiM, ve sevA karane Ate haiM gA~va kii| usake badale meM denA-karanA taya kiyA hotA hai thor3A-bahuta, unakA ghara cale utanA lekina usake lie niyama kyA hotA thA? yahA~ para gale meM koDiyuM (kaTorA) bA~dhanA par3atA thaa| thUkanA ho to nIce nahIM thUka sakate the, koDiyuM meM thUkanA par3atA thA aura pIche unake pairoM ke nizAna par3ate the, bUTa to nahIM hote the becAroM ke paas| unake paira z2amIna para par3ate the to use nukasAnadAyaka mAnA jAtA thA, isalie unake pIche jheNu (buhArI) bA~dhate the tAki pairoM ke nizAna miTa jaaeN| vaha Age calatA thA aura pIche-pIche jheNu calatA thaa| jheNu Apa samajhate ho na?

Page #159
94 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA : jhaadduu| dAdAzrI : jhADU nahIM, jhennu| jheNu matalaba ye kaMTIlI jhAr3iyA~ hotI haiM na, ye jo bAr3a meM uge rahate haiM, ve baMdhavAte the| ve to an-Ivana hotI haiN| Apa jo kaha rahe ho na (jhADU), vaha to Ivana (eka rUpa) hotI hai| yaha to kaisA hotA hai? jhADU to regyulara sTeja meM hotA hai, lekina ye to jheNu baMdhavAte the| ___aba itanA tiraskAra! mujhe to bahuta burA lagatA thA ki ye kisa taraha ke loga haiM! praznakartA : Apane aisA dekhA thA dAdA, apane samaya meM? dAdAzrI : dekhA thaa| yaha saba dekhakara maiM thaka gayA thaa| merA dimAg2a khisaka jAtA thaa| maiM to kSatriya putra huuN| mujhe gussA bhI AtA thaa| kaise loga haiM ? yahA~ kahA~ merA janma huA?' to harijanoM ko to Age koDiyuM aura pIche jheNu bA~dhanA par3atA thaa| hama ucca jAti ke aura Apa nimna jAti ke! isalie hameM kahanA par3A hai ki 'he bhayaMkara nara rAkSasoM, abhI to Apako bahuta bhugatanA pdd'egaa| agara kuttA Apake ghara meM cakkara lagA jAe, billI kA mu~ha lagA dUdha Apa pI lete ho| vaha calatA hai aura manuSya para aisA bhayaMkara atyAcAra!' kyA isameM nyAya-anyAya dekhanA hI nahIM hai? DhU~Dhane para bhI hindustAna meM mAnavatA kahA~ milegI? tiraskAra se huA hindustAna duHkhI abhI ke logoM meM moha bar3ha gayA hai isalie prajA ho gaI hai ddaaun| DAuna hone se kyA phAyadA huA? ve sAre tiraskAra-viraskAra cale ge| isalie maiM to khuza huA ki acchA huA yaha DAuna ho gyaa| aba jo DAuna hai use car3hane meM dera nahIM lagegI lekina tiraskAra vagairaha jaisA pAgalapana calA gayA hai pUrI taraha se| nobala ho gae haiM, nobiliTI A gaI hai| bahuta lAbha huA hai| aMgreja vagairaha yaha saba mile na, to bahuta

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[3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e acchA huA aura gAMdhI jI ne bhI sIla lagA dI / usameM harijanoM ke sAtha hone vAlA vaha tiraskAra khatma ho gayA / varnA jaba ve loga brAhmaNoM ke yahA~ khAnA khAne baiThate na taba, 'dekha bhAI chUnA mata, hN'| Upara se, itane U~ce se parosate the / praznakartA : dAdA ! skUloM meM bhI aisA thA / pAnI pInA ho to brAhmaNa ke pyAle, paTela ke pyAle, pAnI kI pyAU hotI thI na, vahA~ pyAloM para pepara cipakA rahatA thA ki brAhmaNa ke pyAle, banie ke pyAloM, paTela ke pyAle / 95 dAdAzrI : hA~, vahA~ para aisA thA / mujhe to zarma AtI thI ki 'bhAI, aisA khAnA!' maiM manA kara detA thA ki 'mujhe nahIM khAnA hai, bhaaii'| ve Upara se parosate the| zarma nahIM AtI tumheM ? tiraskAra, tiraskAra, tiraskAra / isIlie du:khI hai apanA hindustAna / tiraskAra se duHkhI hai| ina harijanoM kA aura sabhI nimna varNa haiM na, sabhI kA bhayaMkara tiraskAra kiyA hai / eka ora striyoM ko gaMgA kA rUpa kahate haiM, aura phira vidhavA mila jAe taba aisA kahate haiM ki 'mujhe apazakuna ho gayA' / to bhAI ! gaMgA kA rUpa kyoM likhatA hai? likhane meM to bahuta vIra haiM / koI to samajhegA ki gaMgA jI yahA~ para AI haiM! praznakartA : zAdI meM bhI nahIM jaate| aise to kaI sAre bure rivAz2a the / dAdAzrI : hA~, sAre rivAz2a, kacarA sArA / bacapana meM gAMdhI jI ko sunane gae the praznakartA: Apa jaba choTe the taba gAMdhI jI kA bahuta prabhAva thA, to ApakA unake sAtha kA koI anubhava hai kyA ? dAdAzrI : 1921 meM maiM jaba teraha - caudaha sAla kA thA taba gAMdhI jI ne sabhA meM bhASaNa diyA thA / taba sunane gayA thA / vahA~ gAMdhI jI ke donoM tarapha siMha jaise do loga, aise baiThAkara rakhate the, una miyA~ bhAIyoM ko....

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96 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA : muhammadaalI aura shauktalii| dAdAzrI : mujhe to samajha meM nahIM AtA ki ye vaNika bhAI moDha, inhoMne ina do siMhoM ko kaise kAbU kiyA hogA? aise the ki una siMhoM ko dekhakara hI Dara lge| praznakartA : hA~, dAr3hI-vAr3hI thii| dAdAzrI : are! zarIra bhI bahuta maz2abUta thaa| praznakartA : hA~, aura taba gAMdhI jI kaThiyAvADI pagar3I pahanate the| dAdAzrI : pagar3I pahanate the una dinoM, TopI-vopI nhiiN| gAMdhI jI ne kahA, 'abhI to yaha pahalI lapeTa chor3I hai, tabhI se gavarnamenTa ko ghabarAhaTa ho gaI hai| abhI to dUsarI lapeTa chor3anA bAkI hai'| maiM soca meM par3a gyaa| kahanA par3egA, isa kAThiyAvAr3I kI lapeTa! aura AMTA eTalA rAMTA (jitanI lapeTa utane ghumaav)| videzI kapar3oM ke bAikaoNTa meM bahuta sAre ati suMdara kapar3e jalA die the| praznakartA : holI hI jalAte the na ! dAdAzrI : AlpAkA ke koTa! ve jagamaga-jagamaga hote the! praznakartA : taba laoNnga koTa pahanate the na, sabhI loga! dAdAzrI : una dinoM dhotI bhI phaoNrena se hI AtI thI na yahA~ para? praznakartA : hA~ dAdA! mainacesTara kI dhotiyaaN| dAdAzrI : hA~, mainacesTara kI dhotiyaaN| apane yahA~ to vahIM kI dhotiyA~ pahananI paDatI thiiN| hama bhI mainacesTara kI dhotiyA~ pahanate the na! yaha kamIz2a bhI mainacesTara kA aura TopiyA~ beMgalora se AtI thiiN| beMgalora kI TopI itanI bar3I, miyA~ bhAI pahanate haiM, vaisii| Aja to AlpAko dikhAI hI nahIM detA, lekina una dinoM AlpAko pahanane ko milatA thaa| kyoMki paisA sastA aura sabhI cIjeM acchI milatI thiiN|

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[3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e ____97 pagar3I kI eka lapeTa kholI to sarakAra kA~pa gaI 'yaha eka lapeTa kholI hai' aisA 1921 meM gAMdhI jI ne kahA thaa| unhoMne pagaDI kI eka lapeTa kholI taba gavarnamenTa hila gaI thI, dUsarI lapeTa kholeMge taba kyA hogA? vaha to maiMne DhU~Dha nikAlA ki yaha lapeTa vAle iMsAna haiN| kAThiyAvAr3I ke lapeTa kA matalaba kyA hai, gavarnamenTa samajha nahIM sakatI lekina maiM to ThaharA gujarAtI, isalie samajha gyaa| alaga taraha kI khoja hamArI 1922 meM jo janme ve pajAme vAle aura 1921 taka jo janme ve dhotI vAle, isa taraha do bhAga ho gae the una dinoN| yaha merI alaga taraha kI khojabIna thii| praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : gAMdhI jI ne holI jalAI thI vahA~ para, mainacesTara ke mAla kI, paradezI mAla kii| hama sabhI ne holI jalAI thii| praznakartA : taba viThThala bhAI ne manA kiyA thaa| nayA mata kharIdanA lekina holI mata jlaao| dAdAzrI : aisA hai na, usameM sabhI loga aise nahIM the jo jalA deN| yaha to amIroM ne thor3I-bahuta TopiyA~ vagairaha saba DAlA thA usmeN| loga bhI kyA koI kaccI mAyA haiM? lekina dUsarA kyA huA ki yaha jo jalA na, usase logoM para asara ho gayA ki yaha mAla saMbhAlakara rakhane jaisA nahIM hai| itanA to samajha meM A gyaa| praznakartA : hA~, usakA asara ho gyaa| gAMdhI jI ne dikhAyA aura badalA prajA ko dAdAzrI : ataH unhoMne jo jalavAyA vaha acchA kiyaa| viThThala bhAI ne manA kiyA lekina aMta meM jalAyA na, vaha acchA kAma kiyaa| viThThala bhAI hisAba lagA rahe the ki isase kyA lAbha honA hai? aura ye

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jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) gAMdhI jI to bahuta tez2a the, lapeTa vAle iMsAna! viThThala bhAI ne lapeTa nahIM dekhI thii| unakA to sIdhA beristtrpnaa| viThThala bhAI aura vallabha bhAI, do siMha the, ve donoM bhAI to carotara ke! phira logoM meM jAgRti aaii| gAMdhI jI ne namaka ke lie satyAgraha kiyA, namaka meM se bhI khUna dikhAyA, nikAla-nikAlakara aura logoM ne khUna dekhA to zUravIra bana ge| jaba taka khUna nahIM dekhate, taba taka zUravIra kaise banate? khUna dekhA na, isalie prajA sarakAra ke viruddha ho gaI ki 'sarakAra bahuta galata hai| dekho na, mAra diyA logoM ko'| mUla kAraNa koI nahIM dekhatA, nyAya nahIM dekhtaa| loga to yahI dekhate haiM ki kyA huaa| kyA dekhate haiM ? yAnI gAMdhI jI ko jo dikhAnA thA, vaha dikhA diyA sabhI ko| isa taraha prajA ko bdlaa| mUlataH gAMdhI jI nirmamatvI the na ! kucha loga to gAMdhI jI ko kucha bhI gAliyA~ bakate the| Aja agara Apa ve suno to Apako Azcarya hogA! 'beToM ke nAma do to mileM kara dI haiM,' aisA loga kahate the| aba paccIsa pratizata pablika sahI samajhatI thI ki 'gAMdhI jI acche haiN'| to pacahattara pratizata kahate the ki 'bahuta kharAba haiN| unhoMne baccoM ke lie mileM banavA diiN| isa bAta para jhagar3e hote the, aMdara hI aMdara, vaad-vivaad| apane muhalle meM baiThe-baiThe bhI lar3a par3ate the log| gAMdhI jI to na jAne kahA~ cale gae aura jhagar3A raha gayA ! vallabha bhAI ne sarva prakAra kI mamatA chor3I praznakartA : vallabha bhAI ke bAre meM to hamane sunA hai ki siMha the| dAdAzrI : ve akele hI nahIM, saradAra aura viThThala bhAI donoM hI bhAI vaise the| bAkI do bhAI aura bhI the lekina ye do bhAI usI taraha ke the| kyoMki donoM bhAIyoM ne sira muMDavAyA huA thaa| praznakartA : sira muMDavAyA huA thA? dAdAzrI : bAla rakhe the aura sira muMDA huA thaa| sira para bAla the itane-itane bar3e lekina sira muMDavA diyA thaa| isase loga cauMka gae

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[3] usa z2amAne meM kie mauja-maz2e 99 ki jaba bAla haiM to phira kyoM muMDavA diyA? yaha sira muMDavAne kA matalaba kyA hai ? sarva prakAra kI mamatA chor3a denaa| praznakartA : sarva mamatA chor3a denA? dAdAzrI : hA~... sirpha deza ke pIche par3e the ye donoM bhaaii| jaba unakI vAipha kA tAra AyA taba bhI kahA, 'korTa meM gae haiN'| loha puruSa ne bA~dhI meMr3hakoM kI pA~caserI praznakartA : saradAra vallabha bhAI paTela to bahuta z2abaradasta the| dAdAzrI : z2abaradasta puruSa! praznakartA : aura hindustAna kA kalyANa bhI... dAdAzrI : phaoNrena vAloM ne kahA ki loha puruSa haiM! carcila bhI samajha gayA ki ve loha puruSa the aura ina sabhI rAjyoM ko palabhara meM eka kara diyaa| sabhI phaoNrenarsa kA yahI mata thA ki isa hindustAna ke rAjya kabhI bhI eka nahIM ho skte| praznakartA : yadi saradAra nahIM hote to nahIM ho sakatA thaa| dAdAzrI : nahIM! phaoNrena vAle kyA mAnate the yahA~ ke rAjyoM ko ki ye to meMr3haka kI pA~caserI jaisA hogaa| meMr3haka kI pA~caserI banAnI ho na, to nahIM banA skte| kyoMki yahA~ se DAleM to vahA~ se usa tarapha se kUdakara bAhara nikala jAte haiN| pA~caserI pUrI nahIM ho sktii| to ina logoM ne aisA mAnA thA ki ina sabhI rAjyoM ko bA~dhate samaya yahA~ para isa tarapha bA~dhege to dUsarI tarapha vAle mukara jAe~ge, nikala jAe~ge, aura zAMti se baiThe the| z2arA bhI vicalita nahIM hue lekina taba inhoMne unheM bApa banAkara maaraa| hara eka sTeTa vAle se kahA 'maiM terA phAdara huuN'| le, bApa bana ge| bApa banakara gaddI le lI tez2I se| unakI A~khoM meM jabaradasta nirmamatva dikhAI detA thA, shuddh| aura nirmamatva hI paramAtmA haiM, usase Age anya kisI paramAtmA ko kahA~ lene jAe~?

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[4] nAsamajhI meM galatiyA~ pArTanara ko banAyA buddha yaha jJAna hone se pahale mujhe zarArata karane kI bahuta Adata thii| eka bAra mere pArTanara sI. paTela ke sAtha ghUmane jA rahA thaa| unhoMne kahA ki, 'Apa saba batAte ho to yaha batAo ki yaha paudhA kisa cIz2a kA hai ?' maiMne kahA, 'ilAyacI kaa'| usa para choTI-choTI phunagI AI thiiN| unhoMne mAna bhI liyaa| bAda meM phira ghara gae aura bujurgoM se bAta kI ki 'yahA~ para ilAyacI bahuta hotI hai'| taba unhoMne pUchA, 'are! kisane batAyA?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'mere pArTanara ne batAyA, usa aMbAlAla ne'| taba ve bujurga mere pAsa Ae aura mujhase kahA ki 'are, ilAyacI kahA~ uga rahI hai ?' taba maiMne kahA ki 'maiMne to use buddha banAyA, lekina Apa buddhU kyoM bane?' ilAyacI to paudhe para nahIM lekina jar3a meM ugatI hai| aba galatI samajha meM AtI hai, maz2Aka ur3Ane kI praznakartA : Apake bAre meM kahA jAtA hai ki Apa to aise hI zarAratI the| Apane aura kaisI zarArateM kI thIM? dAdAzrI : are, kaI taraha kI zarArateM! bacce jaisI zarArateM karate haiM, vaisI sbhii| praznakartA : batAie na dAdA, thor3A-bahuta, kaisI zarArateM kI thIM? dAdAzrI : maz2Aka ur3Ate the logoM kA aura ThiTholI-viTholI

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[4] nAsamajhI meM galatiyA~ 101 vgairh| mujhe maz2Aka ur3Ane kI bahuta Adata thii| kyA Apane bacapana meM kisI kA majAka ur3AyA hai? maiMne to bahuta ur3AyA hai, bhaaii| mujhe to abhI bhI vaha saba nakze kI taraha dikhAI detA hai| jaise nakze meM nyUyorka dikhAI detA hai, zikAgo dikhAI detA hai vaisA dikhAI detA hai| isalie mana meM aisA hotA hai ki, 'arere! kaise-kaise doSa! maz2Aka yAnI bahuta nukasAnadeha nahIM, lekina sAmane vAle ke mana para to asara hotA thA na! sAmane vAle ko duHkha hotA thA na becAre ko, lekina aba usa samaya vaha hameM patA hI nahIM thA na, hoza hI nahIM thA na! to hama bhI purAne maMdira vAloM kA (bujurgoM kI) maz2Aka ur3Ate the| hama bhI bUr3he bujurga logoM kA maz2Aka ur3Ate the| to kyA aba maiM bUr3hA nahIM hU~? kyA koI merI nahIM ur3AegA? unheM burA lagatA thA phira bhI maz2Aka to ur3Ate hI the na! baccoM ko kyA? aba merI umra vAloM kI A~kheM to becAroM kI kamaz2ora ho cukI hotI hai| agara loga mere kamare meM do-cAra pille chor3a deM to merI kyA dazA hogI? vaisA hI una bUr3he bujurgoM ko huA hogA, jaba hama vahA~ para pille chor3akara A jAte the| aba maiM socatA hU~ ki 'aisA kaisA kiyA hamane? yadi koI hamAre sAtha aisA kareM to kyA hogA?' phira ve bujurga pUrI rAta cillAte rahate ki 'ye bacce mara bhI nahIM jaate| mere yahA~ pille chor3a ge'| lekina aba samajha meM AtA hai ki yaha saba galata kiyA thaa| una dinoM kaisI bhUleM kI thIM! bacapana meM, cha:-sAta sAla kI umra meM taba kyA nahIM karate bacce? sIkhe galata guruoM se maz2Aka ur3AnA praznakartA : dAdA, Apa choTe the taba se gar3abar3I vAle the? dAdAzrI : sabhI gar3abar3I vAle ! maiM akelA hI aisA nahIM thaa| praznakartA : Apa sabhI bAtoM meM avvala lagate haiN| usI taraha, jaise jJAna ke zikhara para A phuNce|

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102 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : mujhe z2arA z2yAdA samajha meM AtA thA yaha sb| lekina yaha saba to galata hai na! abhI, merI to A~kheM haiM lekina agara kisI kI A~kheM na hoM to usakI kyA dazA hogI? chihattara sAla kI umra meM jaba paira na caleM, bAkI kucha bhI na cale, (Upara se) una cAcA ko pakar3anA bhI par3atA thaa| eka cAcA ko donoM hI A~khoM se dikhAI nahIM detA thaa| vahA~ para bhI pille chor3a die the| galata hai na! isa taraha kA bahuta pAgalapana thaa| hamArI bacapana kI jiMdagI dekhate haiM to bahuta burA lagatA hai| una bujurgoM kI kaisI dazA huI hogI? bur3hApA yAnI purAnA maMdira! unakI kyA dazA hotI hogI? vaha nae maMdira vAloM (javAna logoM) ko kyA patA cale? bUr3he loga jaba aise-aise karake calate the na, taba usI taraha unake pIche calakara maz2Aka ur3AyA hai lekina patA nahIM thA ki jaba yaha maMdira purAnA ho jAtA hai to kyA dazA hotI hai? maz2Aka ur3AnA kahA~ se sIkhate haiM ? apane ina guruoM se (AsapAsa vAle logoM se)! jo bhI saMyoga milate haiM, ve saba hamAre guru| ve jaisA karate the, hama bhI vaisA hI karate the| ve sabhI yadi mAtA jI ke paira chUte the aura aisI mIThI-mIThI bAte karate the to hama bhI vaisA hI karate the| ve saba maz2Aka ur3Ate the to hama bhI maz2Aka ur3Ate the| adhika buddhi kA durupayoga, maz2Aka ur3Ane meM hamArI buddhi adhika thI to, usakA durupayoga kisameM huA? kama buddhi vAle kA maz2Aka ur3Ane meM! jaba se mujhe yaha jokhima samajha meM AyA, tabhI se maz2Aka ur3AnA baMda ho gyaa| kahIM maz2Aka ur3AnA cAhie? maz2Aka ur3AnA to bhayaMkara jokhima hai, gunAha hai ! kisI kA bhI maz2Aka nahIM ur3AnA caahie| praznakartA : lekina adhika buddhi vAle kA maz2Aka ur3Ane meM kyA harja hai? dAdAzrI : lekina kama buddhi vAlA svAbhAvika rUpa se maz2Aka ur3AegA hI nahIM na!

Page #168
[4] nAsamajhI meM galatiyA~ 103 bAkI, maiMne sabhI taraha kI zarArateM kI huI hai| sabhI taraha kI zarArateM kauna karatA hai? bahuta TAiTa brena (jyAdA buddhizAlI) ho, vaha karatA hai| maiM to ArAma se parezAna karatA thA sabhI ko, acche-acche logoM kI, bar3e-bar3e vakIloM kI, DaoNkTaroM kI maz2Aka ur3AtA thaa| vaha sArA ahaMkAra to galata hI hai na! vaha to apanI buddhi kA durupayoga kiyA na! maz2Aka ur3AnA to buddhi kI nizAnI hai| praznakartA : mujhe to abhI bhI maz2Aka ur3Ane kA mana hotA hai| dAdAzrI : maz2Aka ur3Ane meM bahuta jokhima hai| buddhi meM maz2Aka ur3Ane kI zakti hotI hI hai aura phira usakA jokhima bhI utanA hI hai to hamane una dinoM aisA jokhima mola liyA thaa| jokhima hI mola lete rhe| jokhima maz2Aka ur3Ane kA : bhagavAna ke virodhI bane praznakartA : kisI kA maz2Aka ur3AyA ho aura unheM z2arA duHkha ho jAe to phira usake jokhima kyA-kyA haiM ? kisa-kisa taraha ke jokhima haiM usameM? dAdAzrI : aisA hai na, yadi dhaula lagAI hotI na, to usameM jo jokhima thA usakI bajAya yaha to anaMta gunA jokhima hai| usakA maz2Aka ur3Ane kaa| usakI buddhi itanI nahIM hai isIlie Apane apanI lAiTa se use kabje meM kiyA isalie phira vahA~ para bhagavAna kahate haiM, 'isameM buddhi nahIM hai to usakA yaha phAyadA uThA rahA hai !' / vahA~ para hamane, khuda bhagavAna ko apanA virodhI banA diyaa| kisI akla vAle ko dhaula lagAI hotI to vaha samajha jAtA becArA aura vaha khuda usakA mAlika bana jaataa| jabaki isakI to vahA~ taka buddhi hI nahIM pahu~catI hai, isIlie jaba hama isakI ha~sI ur3Ate haiM to yaha khuda usakA mAlika nahIM bntaa| taba bhagavAna samajhate haiM ki 'ohoho! isameM buddhi nahIM hai, isameM buddhi kama hai, to tU use pha~sA rahA hai? A jA', kaheMge to bhagavAna virodhI bana jAte haiN| ve to phira

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104 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) pUrI taraha se tor3a deNge| jisakI maz2Aka ur3AI use to binA kucha kie hI duHkha bhoganA par3atA hai aura yaha to bahuta galata hai| mere sAtha to yahI jhaMjhaTa huI thI ki 'buddhi bahuta bar3ha gaI thI to usakA aisA saba lAbha utthaayaa| aura usI vajaha se apanI sA~seM baMda ho jAtI haiM, nahIM to yaha saba kisane kiyA? aMdara kauna sI kamI hai sA~soM kI? hisAba to hameM cukAne hI par3eMge na? dekho na, kursI para baiThakara ghUmate haiM na! aura anya kisI prakAra kI parezAnI nahIM hai, sirpha yahI parezAnI hai na! bAkI to, dasa ghaMTe taka kAma ho sakatA hai, baiThe-baiThe bolanA ho to! mere bolate samaya to koI aisA hI samajhegA ki dAdA yaha nATaka kara rahe haiM kursI para baiThakara! praznakartA : lekina hamane to mukhya rUpa se yahI dhaMdhA kiyA hai| dAdAzrI : nahIM! lekina abhI bhI usake lie pratikramaNa kara sakate ho na! maiMne to yahI saba kiyA hai na, maiMne bhI yahI kiyA hai, isIlie hamAre vo mila vAle bhatIje kahate haiM ki 'Apa to saliyAkhora (zarArata karake parezAna karane vAle) haiM', nahIM kahate kyA aisA? saliyAkhora kahate haiM isalie maiMne kahA ki, buddhi AvRta thI to kyA karate ? zarArata hI karate na! aMtarAyI huI buddhi, isalie 'saliyAkhora' kahA usane praznakartA : buddhi aMtarAyI huI thI, vaha kyA hai dAdA? dAdAzrI : aMtarAyI huI buddhi aisA DhU~Dha nikAlatI hai| aMtarAyI huI buddhi kyA karatI hai ? zarArata karatI hai yA nahIM? una dinoM buddhi aMtarAyI huI thI na, to vaha zarArata karake parezAna karatI thii| buddhi meM aMtarAya hote haiM na, to jaba aura koI maz2A nahIM AtA taba parezAna karatA hai aura phira kahatA hai, 'maz2A A gyaa'| salI kA matalaba kyA hai ? khuda yahA~ para baiThA hai aura paTAkA vahA~ phUTatA hai

Page #170
[4] nAsamajhI meM galatiyA~ 105 to use kahate haiM salI! to yaha buddhi ulTI-sIdhI hotI hI rahatI thI na ! taba loga aisA samajhate the ki yaha saliyAkhora hai aura hama bhI kahate haiM ki 'bhAI, hama saliyAkhora hI the'| praznakartA : Apa sIdhI salI (paoNz2iTiva zarArata) bhI karate hoMge na dAdAzrI : sIdhI salI bhI karate the, lekina vaha kama! z2yAdAtara to ulttii| sIdhI kI to kucha par3I hI nahIM thI na! aura ulTI to kahA~ taka ki koI AdamI nahIM mile to Akhira meM kisI bacce ko sikhAtA thA ki 'are, usa gadhe ke pIche khAlI DibbA bA~dha de'| are! gadhe ke pIche to hama saba baccoM ne milakara Dibbe bhI bA~dhe haiN| phira pUrI rAta vaha gadhA uchala-kUda hI karatA na! to pUrI rAta zora hotA thaa| logoM ko sone hI nahIM detA thA phira, logoM ko nIMda nahIM AtI thii| eka to logoM ke pAsa koI kAma-dhaMdhA nahIM thA, bekAra the| to (AvAz2a) sunAI dete hI dekhate the ki 'yaha kyA huA? are! yaha to gadhe ke pIche DibbA bA~dhA huA hai!' gadhe kI pITha para khAlI DibbA baMdhavA dete the aura phira pIche se ve bacce use bhagAte the| to isa taraha pUre gA~va meM zora zarAbA ho jAtA thaa| phira loga gAliyA~ dete the ki 'ina lar3akoM kA satyAnAsa ho!' isa taraha se buddhi kA pUrNa durupayoga huA thaa| Apako to yaha saba nahIM AtA thA na? yaha saba aisA hai, ye sAre saMskAra gA~va vAle haiM! aura hama to mUla rUpa se bilkula Ter3hI jAti, jhagar3e karanA acchA lagatA thA, yaha to jJAna milA to aba saba rAste para A gayA hai| kusaMga ke rAste para cala par3e dostoM ke saMga praznakartA : dAdA, kharAba AdateM thI bacapana meM ? dAdAzrI : hA~, paMdraha sAla kI umra meM hameM kusaMga meM bIr3I pIne

Page #171
106 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) kI Adata par3a gii| use satsaMga kaho yA kusaMga kho| yA phira maiM kusaMgI hoU~gA, aura unheM kusaMgI bnaayaa| loga kyA kahate haiM ? 'merA beTA kusaMgiyoM ke sAtha rahakara kusaMgI bana gyaa'| are! lekina bhAI, isakA kyA pramANa hai ki tere beTe kA kusaMga use lagA hai yA usakA tere beTe ko lagA hai? kaI loga aisA kahate haiM ki, 'mere beTe ke sAtha sirpha kusaMga hai? to bhAI kusaMgI kauna hai isameM ? chahoM baccoM ke bApa, sabhI aisA kahate haiM ki 'mere beTe para kusaMga kA asara ho gayA', to inameM se kusaMgI kauna hai? z2arA patA to lagAnA cAhie na? usakI bajAya hama aisA kaheM ki merA beTA kusaMga ke rAste para calA gayA hai, to bAta alaga hai| isa taraha kusaMga ke rAste para cale gae the to bIr3iyA~, sigareTa, hukkA pIte the| z2oradAra! sabhI dosta pIte the| sigareTa se jala uThA, bahuta pachatAvA huA abhI bhI mujhe dikhAI detA hai ki zAdI ke avasara para eka dosta ke vahA~ gayA thA to zAdI kA maMDapa bA~dhA huA thA to usa maMDapa ke nIce baiThakara striyA~, bar3I kar3hAI meM DhebarA (bAjare kA eka vyaMjana) tala rahI thiiN| unake Upara maMDapa bA~dhA huA thaa| unake sAtha vAle rUma meM hama saba dosta baiThe-baiThe mastI kara rahe the| maiM sigareTa pI rahA thA, to maiMne yoM sigareTa khir3akI se bAhara pheMkI aura vaha caddara para jA girii| vahIM para jisake nIce ve loga tala rahe the| kyA kabhI aisA huA hai ki sigareTa se bar3I Aga laga jAe? lekina kaise saMyoga ikaTThe hue? nIce Dhebare tale jA rahe the| varnA sigareTa to Akhira meM cheda karake nIce gira jaatii| praznakartA : hA~, nIce gira jaatii| dAdAzrI : aba nIce vaha cUlhA jalAyA huA thA, isalie caddara garama ho gaI thI aura yaha sigareTa girate hI dhamAkA ho gyaa| praznakartA : vaha saba garama ho gayA na, isIlie jala utthaa|

Page #172
[4] nAsamajhI meM galatiyA~ 107 dAdAzrI : garama hone se dhamAkA ho gyaa| dostoM ne to sArI bAta dabA dI ki yaha kaise huA, kaise nahIM huA, vaha saba dabA diyA lekina yaha bahuta burA huaa| taba to phira mujhe bahuta pachatAvA huA ki 'are, aisA saba apane hAthoM, apanI vajaha se! hama kahA~ isake nimitta bane?' bolo, phira sigareTa se cir3ha ho jAegI yA nahIM? hamAre dUsare eka dosta ko to patA nahIM thA ki aisA saba huA hai| to usake ghara para maiM jalI huI sigareTa DAlatA thA, to jalI huI DAlane kI Adata, isalie vaha mujha para gussA karatA thA ki jala uThegA, kucha jala utthegaa| taba maiM kahatA thA ki 'bhAI, apane hAthoM to zAyada hI kabhI aisA hotA hai| jo nahIM jalanA thA, vaha vahA~ para jala uThA aura yahA~ para to yaha sArA hisAba alaga taraha kA hai| ghabarAnA mata, tU mata ghbraanaa'| bujhAne bhI jAtA thA phir| hameM khuda ko samajha meM AtA thA ki yaha jalatI huI sigareTa pheMkane kI Adata galata hai| isa bAre meM jAgRti rakhanI pdd'egii| tAza ke khela meM ThagA gayA, paisoM ke lobha kI vajaha se praznakartA : dAdA Apane galatiyA~ to kI haiM lekina phira una para khUba socA hai, jAgRta rahe haiN| yadi phira se aisI koI galatI ho gaI aura vApasa Apa usameM se chUTa gae hoM, aisI ghaTanAe~ batAie na? dAdAzrI : bacapana meM eka bAra maiM pahalI bAra naDiyAda gA~va gayA thaa| usa samaya merI umra gyAraha-bAraha sAla kI thii| praznakartA : pahalI bAra naDiyAda gae the? dAdAzrI : hA~, pahalI bAra nddiyaad| taba naDiyAda aisA nahIM thA, jaMgala jaisA thaa| eka bArAta meM naDiyAda gae the| vahA~ dasa dina taka rahA thaa| bArAta meM gayA thA, vaha saba mujhe yAda hai! praznakartA : bArAta meM gae the? dAdAzrI : bArAta meN| nahIM to aura kisameM jAnA thA? bArAta meM

Page #173
jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) gayA thaa| vahA~ tAza khelane meM ThagA gyaa| pahale gola cakkara meM tAza khelate the na ? tIna pattI khelA aura hAra gyaa| praznakartA : tIna pattI khelate the usa samaya ? dAdAzrI : hA~, taba tIna pattI khelate the / una dinoM khelane gayA thaa| kyA mitra bhI devatA jaise the ? tIrthaMkaroM ke lie to sabhI devatA, mitra banakara Ate haiM aura hamAre mitra to aise the ki tAza-vAza khelate the / jaba tAza khelate haiM taba to ahaMkAra inTaresTa se usameM sahI-galata bhI karatA hai mitroM ke saMga, lekina mUla mAla aMdara kA hI na ! 108 vahA~ para tIna pattI meM ThagA gyaa| paMdraha rupae, una dinoM paMdraha rupae, vaha bhI ghara ke nahIM, kisI ne dasa-bAraha rupae die the, kucha lAne ke lie| mere pAsa to do-cAra rupae hI the / bAkI ke usa vyakti ke the to usake paise bhI isameM cale gae, to maiM parezAna ho gayA thA usa samaya, tIna pattI meM kho die sabhI ! I praznakartA : tIna pattI ? dAdAzrI : tIna pattI kA matalaba Aja kI tIna pattI nahIM, vaha to z2arA yoM ? praznakartA : hA~, aise-aise karate the na, tIna pattoM meM / dAdAzrI : hA~, pahale jitavAte the, eka-do bAra / praznakartA: hA~, ve aise-aise karake pheMkate the| lekina zurU-zurU meM aisA dikhAte the| pahale to ve kahate the ki 'lo pA~ca Apake' / phira dUsarI bAra meM do dete the tAki hama meM lobha jAge / phira kahate the, 'hAtha mAro' / dAdAzrI : hA~, phira se dete the| lekina apanI mati kamaz2ora par3a jAtI hai na! kyA hai yaha sArI seTiMga? kaise samajheM ina iMsAnoM ko ? gyAraha-bAraha sAla kA baccA thA / bacce to sarala hote haiM / to mauja-maz2e kI jagaha para dhokhA khA jAte haiN| agara mauja-maz2e kie hI nahIM hoM ve

Page #174
[4] nAsamajhI meM galatiyA~ 109 to assI sAla kI umra meM bhI mauja-maz2e kI jagaha para dhokhA khA jAte haiN| usake bajAya pahale se hI dhokhA khA leM to acchaa| anubhava kiyA ho to phira dhokhA to nahIM khAegA na! praznakartA : nahIM khaaegaa| dAdAzrI : to pahale usane dikhAyA, do-tIna bAra, to hama to Thahare bhole-bhAle iMsAna aura gA~va ke log| maiMne samajhA ki yaha saba to mujhe A gayA lekina usa tIna pattI vAle ne Thaga liyaa| maiM jo caudaha-paMdraha rupae le gayA thA ve sabhI le lie| phira jiMdagI meM niyama banA liyA ki phira se kabhI bhI aisA kAma nahIM karanA hai| phira, ghara para to nahIM batA sakate the ki isa taraha se paise kharca kara die saare| bAda meM dhIre-dhIre jaise-taise karake de die the| batAne para hI koI mujhe detA na! to ye sArI parezAniyA~ thI! praznakartA : jhUTha bolanA pdd'aa| dAdAzrI : hA~, bolanA pdd'aa| usake bajAya to vaha sArI jhaMjhaTa hI nahIM honI cAhie na! kucha-kucha, do-do rupae ikaTThe hote aura de dete the| dhokhA khAkara milA hai jJAna, isIlie phira nahIM hone dI bhUla praznakartA : phira taba se Apane kasama khAI ki aba kabhI bhI isa taraha tAza nahIM khelanA hai| dAdAzrI : hA~, kasama khA lI na! bekAra hI duHkhadAyI kAma kyoM kareM hama? aura tabhI se hameM yaha zikSA milI ki aba ina logoM ke pAsa khar3e bhI nahIM rahanA hai| saba ko aisA lagatA hai ki isameM kucha milegaa| are! bhAI aisA kahIM hotA hai ? kyA loga Apake phAyade ke lie baiThAte haiM yahA~ para? isake bAda to jo jAgRti A gaI, phira usase to vApasa isa taraha dhokhA nahIM khaayaa| eka hI bAra kucha dekha lenA

Page #175
jJAnI puruSa (bhAga - 1) hotA hai| ginnI kI jA~ca eka hI bAra karanI par3atI hai| roz2a nahIM ghisanA hotA / 110 bacapana meM isa bAre meM jJAna milA, usake bAda pahacAna liyA / taba phira maiMne socA, 'kalyANa ho gayA apanA ! luTe to luTe lekina cora to dikhaa'| phira hama jahA~ kahIM bhI aisA dekhate to turaMta vahA~ jAnA baMda, jiMdagI bhara / yAnI dhokhA khAne se koI nukasAna nahIM huA / 'dhokhA khAnA matalaba bar3e se bar3A jJAna sIkhanA', aisA kahA jAtA hai| dekho na! kyA hama phira se kabhI dhokhA khAe~ge ? aba izAre se hI samajha jAtA huuN| merI upasthiti meM muMbaI meM kaI loga baiTha gae the| mujhe AtA huA dekhate to vo do-tIna loga sIdhe banakara baiTha jAte the| maiM jAtA thA, khar3A bhI rahatA thA, ve samajhate the ki abhI pha~seMge lekina vahA~ se khisaka jAtA thA / khar3A z2arUra rahatA thaa| unameM z2arA lAlaca ghusane detA thA, phira khisaka jAtA thA kyoMki niSkarSa A gayA thA mere pAsa / praznakartA: ve dhokhA khA jAte the / dAdAzrI : hA~, dhokhA khA jAte the... dekho na, kaisA hisAba ! dUsaroM ke khetoM meM se corI karake khAte the, lekina phira kiyA pachatAvA praznakartA : aisI kucha galatiyA~ kI thIM ki jina para khUba pachatAvA huA ho ? dAdAzrI : maiM gyAraha sAla kA thA, taba eka lar3ake ke ghara para Ama the to usake pitA jI ko patA na cale, usa taraha vaha dUsarI maMz2ila se pheMkatA thA aura maiM pakar3a letA thA / vaha saba abhI bhI mujhe dikhAI detA hai| vaha kyA kahatA thA ki 'Apa pakar3anA, maiM pheMkU~gA phira ye Ama hama bagIce meM le jAkara khAe~ge ' / maiM usake ghara ke bAhara khar3A thA taba usane pheNke| vaha roz2a aisA karatA thA, jaba mA~ - bApa nahIM hote the taba, vaha saba hameM dikhAI detA hai|

Page #176
[4] nAsamajhI meM galatiyA~ 111 phira bacapana meM sabhI bacce Ama khAne jAte the, to unake sAtha-sAtha hama bhI bagiyA meM Ama khAne jAte the| to eka lar3ake para dUsarA lar3akA khar3A rahatA thA aura Ama tor3atA thaa| kaI bAra to z2arA sI dUrI kI vajaha se hAtha nahIM pahu~ca pAtA thA, taba ve Darate the kUdane se to phira pIche se use z2arA joza dilAte the ki 'kUda, Ama cAhie to kUda, nahIM to utara jaa'| use himmata dete the to phira vaha kUdakara Ama tor3a letA thA! aba per3a kisI aura kA aura Ama hama leM, to corI nahIM kahalAegI? kisI aura ke per3a ke Ama khAe~ to vaha corI hI kahalAegI na! phira bhI, maiM vahA~ kheta para Ama khAtA thA lekina kabhI bhI ghara para nahIM le jAtA thaa| maiM khAtA z2arUra thA lekina ghara para nahIM le jAtA thaa| caritra acchA thA, itanA jAnatA huuN| merI bhUmikA meM caritra ucca prakAra kA thA, phira bhI coriyA~ kI haiN| praznakartA : Ama ke alAvA aura kyA khAte the curAkara? dAdAzrI : bacapana meM hama corI karane kheta meM jAte the| kheta meM bera, kaitha, sauMpha vagairaha ugate the| taba lar3akoM ke sAtha jAkara corI karake lAte the| saba laDake jAte the to unake sAtha jAkara mAlika ko binA batAe kaccI-pakkI sauMpha tor3akara khAte the| praznakartA : usakA to nukasAna huA na? dAdAzrI : z2abaradasta nukasAna! kahe binA usa becAre kI to sauMpha tor3a dI na? to bAda meM usake lie kitane hI pachatAve kie, taba jAkara sApha huaa| to bar3e hokara pachatAvA kareM usake bajAya to bacapana meM hI sApha ho jAe to kyA burA hai? ___ bhare hue moha ne karavAI a~gUThI kI corI praznakartA : dAdA, Apane vaha batAyA thA na, aMgUThI kA! to vaha kyA thA?

Page #177
112 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : vaha to, eka aMgUThI corI kara lI thii| vaha abhI bhI khaTakatA rahatA hai aNdr|| ___ maiMne a~gUThI corI kI to vaha kisa taraha se corI kI thI, Apako to patA nahIM hai vh| lekina kAThI mAlUma hai? karAMThiyA~? lakar3iyA~, jalAne kI kAMThiyA~, karAMThiyA~ AtI haiN| arahara kI karAMThI AtI hai, Apane dekhI hai? karAMThI kahate haiM / to usa karAMThI ke gaTThara the to eka AdamI se gaTThara kharIde the, to maiM unake yahA~ lene gyaa| pitA jI ke kahe anusAra maiM eka majadUra ko lekara batAne gayA thaa| gaTThara ginane ke lie sAtha lekara gayA thaa| vaha AdamI Upara se pheMka rahA thA aura maiM gina rahA thaa| maiM gina rahA thA aura jisa naukara ko sAtha le gayA thA vaha bA~dhakara le jA rahA thaa| to phira jaba vaha gaTThara pheMka rahA thA taba, usakI u~galI meM se a~gUThI khisaka gii| aba vaha mujhe nahIM patA thA ki usakI a~gUThI khisaka gaI hai| aba aisA huA thA yA kyA lekina gaTThara DAlate vakta a~gUThI nIce gira gii| aba usakI khisakI huI a~gUThI gira gaI yA phira pahale se kisI kI par3I huI thI lekina eka aMgUThI nIce girii| to hamArA jo AdamI gaTThara lene AyA thA na, use maiMne ulTI tarapha bheja diyaa| maiMne usa naukara se kahA, 'tU ve gaTThara gina le| una gaTTharoM ko bA~dhane laga,' taba taka maiMne usa para (a~gUThI para) paira rakha diyaa| praznakartA : kitanI umra thI taba ApakI? dAdAzrI : teraha sAla kA thA, usa samaya akla kahA~ se AtI? kSatriya putra thA phira bhI corI kI dAnata kahA~ se A gaI? lekina bharA huA mAla hai| moha ! bharA huA moha! isIlie phira maiMne usa aMgUThI para isa taraha se paira rakha diyA tAki vaha dekha na ske| phira vaha naukara gaTThara bA~dhakara ghara gayA aura maiMne dhIre se a~gUThI apanI jeba meM rakha lii|

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[4] nAsamajhI meM galatiyA~ 113 par3I huI milI, maiMne kahA~ corI kI? isa taraha yoM sIdhe corI nahIM karate the| yoM to khAnadAnI ghara ke beTe the isIlie corI nahIM karate the, koI cIz2a uThA nahIM lete the kyoMki vaha to hamAre khAnadAniyata se bAhara kI bAta thii| aisA bahuta bar3A ahaMkAra thA ki hama aisA kara hI nahIM sakate, isalie yoM to corI nahIM karate the| hama khAnadAnI, hamArI iz2z2ata calI jAtI lekina kyA yaha corI nahIM kahalAegI? kyA kahalAegA? praznakartA : corI hI khlaaegii| dAdAzrI : to isakA artha kyA nikAlA? una dinoM ke jJAna ne mujhe aisA batAyA ki ise corI nahIM khte| mujhe aisA lagA ki 'yaha to mujhe milI hai isalie ise corI nahIM kaheMge,' hameM nIce girI huI milii| 'girI aura milI', usameM maiMne corI kahA~ kI? aisA una dinoM ke jJAna ne mujhe btaayaa| teraha sAla kI umra meM buddhi nahIM thI tabhI yaha hAla huA na ! praznakartA : lekina dAdA, aisA koI udaya A gayA hogA na! dAdAzrI : lekina buddhi nahIM thI taba isIlie yaha hAla huA na, aura 'mila gaI', aisA maanaa| samajha nahIM thI, tabhI na! praznakartA : lekina aisA to teraha sAla kI umra meM huA thA na? kisI ko to tihattara sAla kI umra meM bhI aisA hotA hai| dAdAzrI : hA~, tihattara sAla kI umra meM nahIM, vaha to agara tIna lAkha janma bItane para bhI aisA DevelapamenTa nahIM hotA na! aMgUThI becakara paise ur3A die praznakartA : phira kyA huA? dAdAzrI : phira do-tIna dina bAda peTalAda jAkara vaha aMgUThI beca aae| usake caudaha rupae mile the| pona tole kI hogI, moTI a~gUThI thI lekina yaha kitanI cora nIyata kahI jaaegii|

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114 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA : bIsa rupae tolA sonA thA na taba? dAdAzrI : bAIsa-teIsa rupae, to vaha nIyata kyA bahuta acchI nIyata kahalAegI? praznakartA : nahIM khlaaegii| lekina phira kyA kiyA una rupayoM kA, dAdA? dAdAzrI : ve rupae kharca kara die, choTe-moTe kAmoM meN| ina lar3akoM ke sAtha khelane meM kharca ho ge| aMdara jo moha kA jatthA ikaTThA huA thA na, usameM kharca ho ge| dostoM kA kusaMga milA thA na! kusaMga ho tabhI aisA saba karanA A jAtA hai varnA nahIM aataa| jJAna se pahale sabhI jaisA hI kaliyugI jIvana yaha to sabhI jAnate haiM ki abhI dAdA ko jJAna ho gayA hai| isakA matalaba kyA pahale kA jIvana sApha-sutharA bItA hogA! lekina kyA kaliyuga meM aisA sApha-sutharA mAla ho sakatA hai? jaba gussA ho jAtA thA na, taba aisA bolatA thA ki sAmane vAle kA dimAga ghUma jAtA thaa| phira tIna-tIna, cAra-cAra ghaMTe taka vaisA hI rahatA thaa| usakA mana nahIM TUTatA thA lekina dimAga ghUma jAtA thaa| taba loga bhI kahate the, aisA kaisA bola rahe ho ki gadhe kA bhI dimAg2a ghUma jAe? z2arA, saMskAroM kI kamI kahI jAegI vh| ___ mAna ke AdhAra para yaha zobhA nahIM detA yaha jo a~gUThI lI vaha to bahuta kharAba saMskAra, aisA zobhA nahIM detaa| bacapana meM maiMne mAna dekhA hai usa AdhAra para yaha zobhA nahIM detaa| do sAla kA thA taba se lekara aThAraha sAla taka maiMne mAna dekhA hai| usa hisAba se kyA yaha zobhA degA? jahA~ jAU~ vahA~ para mAna, jahA~ jAU~ vahA~ para maan| apamAna to dekhA hI nahIM thaa| usa hisAba se yaha zobhA nahIM detaa|

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[4] nAsamajhI meM galatiyA~ 115 praznakartA : sahI bAta hai| isameM, saMskAroM kA aura yaha jo aMgUThI lI, usakA kyA lenA-denA? dAdAzrI : use to kharAba saMskAra kahA jaaegaa| praznakartA : dAdAjI! isa udayakarma kI bAta meM phira saMskAra kahA~ Ate haiM? udayakarma meM saMskAra kyA kara sakate haiM? dAdAzrI : lekina saMskAra ke AdhAra para hI udayakarma haiM na! vahI saMskAra haiM na! saMskAra prakaTa hote haiN| udayakarma arthAt jo saMskAra the ve prakaTa hue| praznakartA : lekina ve saMskAra bhI kauna se? dAdAzrI : pichale janma ke| praznakartA : hA~, aisaa| to phira vaha pichale janma ke haiM na? dAdAzrI : to yaha sArA mAla merA hI hogA na ki mujhe mAna milatA hai saba jgh| vaha pichale janma kA projekzana hai| praznakartA : yaha kSetra milA, vaha bhI ina saMskAroM kI vajaha se hI na? ThIka hai na? dAdAzrI : hA~, mA~-bApa mile, vaha bhii| praznakartA : hA~, vaha saba to usI kI vajaha se hai| use bhogane ke lie hI milA yaha saba, to kyA Apa aisA kahanA cAhate haiM ki isakA saMbaMdha saMskAroM se haiM? dAdAzrI : haaN| praznakartA : hA~, yaha ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : lekina aise saMskAra the aMdara! aMdara khaTakatA rahatA thA ki kyA aisA bhI? a~gUThI ko bhI dabA diyA thaa| dekho to sahI! eka aMgUThI ke lie! aisA to koI iMsAna nahIM kregaa| aisI hai yaha duniyA! kyA-kyA galatiyA~ nahIM huI hoMgI?

Page #181
116 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) agara mila jAe to pA~ca sau gunA vApasa de dUM, lekina vaha __ abhI bhI khaTakatA hai praznakartA : phira paise vApasa karane ke lie gae the na Apa? dAdAzrI : hA~, phira usake mAlika se eka bAra pUchane gayA, to koI nahIM milaa| dasa sAla bAda phira se gayA thA vahA~ pr| maiMne pUchA, 'isa ghara meM phalAnA bhAI rahate the na?' taba kahA, 've to nahIM haiM, ve to mara ge'| usake bAda koI ThikAnA nahIM pdd'aa| varnA maiMne socA thA ki use dasa gunA paise de dUMgA yA bIsa gunA paise de dUMgA aura yadi ve kaheM kI sau gunA do to sau gunA, pA~ca sau gunA kaheM to pA~ca sau gunA de duuNgaa| caudaha paMje sattara, sAta haz2Ara rupae de dU~ use, lekina vaha thA hI nhiiN| jaba patA lagAne gayA to bApa yA beTA koI milA hI nahIM! maiMne socA, 'aba kyA karU~? to kahIM dharmadAna kro'| to isase use koI lenA-denA nahIM hai lekina yaha to aisA saba jo hAla kiyA, vaha bhI khaTakatA rahA bAda meN| phira bAda meM patA calA ki yaha kaisA karma thA lekina vaha abhI bhI khaTakatA hai| praznakartA : jaba bhI yAda AtA hai taba? dAdAzrI : hamezA khaTakatA hai, yAda to rahatA hI hai na hameM niraMtara! yAda nahIM aataa| yAda matalaba yAda, vaha mujhe dikhAI detA hai nirNtr| bacapana meM maiMne pone do rupae kI eka cIz2a corI kI thI, vaha abhI bhI mujhe yAda hai| usake bAda jiMdagI bhara corI nahIM kI lekina kisI karma ke udaya se abhI bhI vaha mujhe yAda AtA rahatA hai aura mana meM hotA hai ki use do sau-pA~ca sau bhijavA dene cAhie, usa vyakti ko| hamArI tarapha se prApta ho vaha sauMpa diyA kudarata ko praznakartA : dAdA! jaba Apa batAne gae to taba ve bhAI mara cuke the?

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[4] nAsamajhI meM galatiyA~ 117 dAdAzrI : kyA ho sakatA hai ? vaha tAla nahIM baiThA ! praznakartA : to aba yadi ve nahIM mileMge to usakA kyA phala AegA? to usakA pariNAma kyA hogA ? dAdAzrI : vaha to kucha bhI nahIM / use to hameM khulA chor3a denA hai / hamane kaha diyA hai jitanA unakA ho vaha yogya rUpa se hamArI tarapha se unheM mila jaae| hamane aisA taya hI kara diyA hai ki jisa - jisakA jitanA yogya hai, vaha hamArI tarapha se unheM prApta ho jaae| yAnI ki vaha kudarata ko sauMpa diyA / kisI kA bhI bAkI na rahe aneka gunA de deM hama dene ke lie taiyAra hai kisI kA bhI bAkI na rahe, kiciMtmAtra bAkI na rahe, aneka gunA karake de deN| hameM aise paisoM kA kyA karanA hai ? praznakartA: nahIM-nahIM, Apa to kucha bhI nahIM kreNge| dAdAzrI : hamane to pichale pA~ca-sAta - dasa sAloM se taya kiyA hai ki ye jo kucha bhI hai, Age-pIche kA jo kucha bhI hai vaha sArA, parivAra meM yadi koI duHkhI hai to unake pAsa pahu~ce, agara riztedAroM meM koI duHkhI ho to unake pAsa pahu~ce yA phira mahAtmAoM meM koI duHkhI ho to vahA~ pr| yadi pichale koI RNAnubaMdha hoM to vahA~ para jaae| lekina isa lakSmI kA kisI acchI jagaha para upayoga ho jaae| ataH hama to isa taraha se mukta ho ge| vaha saba to cuka jaaegaa| jise cukAnA hai use dera hI nahIM lgegii| jisakI nIyata hai ki 'itanA cukA deM aura itanA rahane deM', use parezAnI hai| itanA hI dekhanA hai ki usakI nIyata kyA hai / nIyata se rAjA banane meM kyA harja hai lekina vaha muA rAjA nahIM banatA hai, z2arA sA bAkI rakhatA hai / kabhI bhI mana nahIM kholatA / lekina isase rahI pavitratA cAritra kI hameM to sabhI raMga lage the, kucha hI raMga nahIM lage the / jo raMga, kavi I

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118 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) ne kahA hai na ki 'jinake sabhI aMga pavitra haiN| ve pavitra aMga haiM...' kyA kahA thA Apane? praznakartA : sarvAMge pavitratA vedI hai, advitIya mahAnatA aisI hai| dAdAzrI : ataH ina sabhI aMgoM meM pavitratA phailI huI hai| vaha merA puruSArtha nahIM hai| yaha to maiM lekara AyA thA aisA sArA sAmAna, sabhI acche-acche eviddens| ataH hamAre dvArA vikArI saMbaMdha sthApita nahIM hue haiN| vikArI saMbaMdha ke alAvA bAkI sabakucha huA hai| hameM aisA mithyAbhimAna thA ki hamAre dvArA 'vikArI saMbaMdha nahIM hone caahie'| kula ke abhimAna kI vajaha se bahuta saMbhAlA ki 'hama se aisA nahIM honA caahie'| ataH caritra ke alAvA bAkI sabhI kharAbI huI hai lekina caritra kharAba nahIM huA hai| caritra sahI rahA hai| caritra bhraSTa nahIM huaa| praznakartA : caritra bhraSTa arthAt kabhI mAnasika vikAra huA thA? dAdAzrI : hA~, zAyada kabhI mAnasika vikAra huA ho, usakA bhI upAya kara diyA thA phir| jaise ki agara kapar3e para dAga laga jAe to use sAbuna se dho dete haiM na! vaisA hI upAya mere pAsa thaa| sAbuna se dho dete haiM yA nahIM? jinake pAsa ho, ve? praznakartA : ThIka hai to Apane kyA upAya kiyA? dAdAzrI : vaha upAya to abhI kahane jaisA nahIM hai| vaha to sArA AdhyAtmika upAya hai| vaha sthUla upAya nahIM hai| ve jo bhUleM huIM ve sthUla haiM lekina unakA upAya AdhyAtmika hai| lekina sApha-sutharA thA, vaha vAlI sAiDa sApha-sutharI thii|

Page #184
[5] madara [5.1] saMskArI mAtA bahuta puNyazAlI aura suMdara thIM jhavera bA praznakartA : Apake mAtA jI jhavera bA ke bAre meM kucha bAteM kIjie na! dAdAzrI : ve to bahuta suMdara thIM, jhavera bA to! maNi bhAI suMdara the, pUrA parivAra hI suMdara thaa| mUlajI kAkA (pitA jI) suMdara, bA suMdara, sabhI suMdara the| praznakartA : jhavera bA ke to dA~ta bhI acche the| dAdAzrI : hA~, acche the| ve to puNyazAlI thIM, bahuta puNyazAlI aura unakI tvacA bhI hIrA bA jaisI thii| kitanI komala tvacA! nahIM to aisI tvacA kahA~ se lAe~? tvacA para sonA bhI kitanA suzobhita hotA hai! dekho na, dA~ta bhI kitane acche haiM na! mujha para to sonA bhI zobhA nahIM degA, tvacA zyAma hai na! jabaki jhavera bA kI tvacA to saMgamaramara jaisI thI! jahA~ hamezA sadAvrata rahatA thA, usa ghara meM janma jhavera bA kA ___praznakartA : yaha dekhA hai ki jhavera bA meM bahuta uttama guNa the, auroM meM DhU~DhanA bhI muzkila lagatA hai!

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120 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : ve to devI hI kahalAe~gI na! unake hI saMskAra mujhe preraNA dete haiM na! aise loga nahIM milate, kama hote haiN| praznakartA : bahuta kama, reyara (zAyada hii)| dAdAzrI : unake pitA aura mAtA, ve to aura hI taraha ke the, duniyA meM dekhane yogya loga, rAjasI ghara thaa| yAnI bahuta hI ucca prakAra kA mAla thA, zuddha maal| ravajI bhAI ke ghara ke usa staMbha ko dhanya hai| usa ghara meM hamezA sadAvrata hI calatA rahatA thaa| bA jisa ghara meM rahe the na vahA~, unake pitA jI ke ghara para hamezA sadAvrata hI rahatA thaa| jahA~ para aisA sadAvrata ho, vahA~ para bar3e-bar3e logoM kA janma hotA hai, hamezA hii| praznakartA : hA~, vahA~ para dAdA kA janma huaa| dAdAzrI : sadAvrata yAnI vahA~ se koI bhUkhA vApasa nahIM jaataa| koI sAdhu-sanyAsI A jAe~ to unheM rahane kI jagaha dete the, khAnA khilAte the, unakA dhyAna rakhate the| praznakartA : pahale kaI loga aisA karate the, hamezA sadAvrata rakhate the| dAdAzrI : hA~, isIlie bA jaisoM kA vahA~ para janma huA na, varnA nahIM hotA na! praznakartA : usa puNya kA lAbha milatA hai na! bA kA ceharA dekhate hI duHkhI iMsAna bhI sukhI ho jAtA ___dAdAzrI : maiMne apanI bA, jhavera bA jaisI koI nArI dekhI hI nhiiN| merI mA~ kA ceharA dekhate hI, koI duHkhI iMsAna bhI sukhI ho jAe, aisI thIM hamArI baa| unake guNoM kA kyA varNana karU~? hamAre gA~va meM sAta haz2Ara logoM kI bastI thI lekina maiMne aisI madara nahIM dekhii| vaha bhI phira niSpakSapAtI rUpa se socakara dekhA ki kyA

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[5.1] saMskArI mAtA 121 isalie mujhe aisA laga rahA hai kyoMki ve merI madara haiM?' ataH aura tarIkoM se bhI jA~cakara dekha liyaa| phira se niSpakSapAtI bhAva se jA~ca kI lekina bahuta acchI strI, bahuta suMdara vicAra! Apa gAlI dekara jAo aura agara turaMta hI vApasa Ao to bulAtI thiiN| karuNA vAlI thIM, bahuta karuNA, z2abaradasta karuNA! aura oNblAijiMga necara niraMtara! ataH abhI bhI apane hindustAna meM kucha saMskAra haiN| apane yahA~ aisA hai na ki aura kaI prakAra se divAlA nikala cukA hai lekina saMskAroM ko lekara divAliyA nahIM hue haiN| jhavera bA kI parsanAliTI kA prabhAva par3A dAdA para jhavera bA to parsanAliTI (viziSTa vyaktitva) vAlI thIM! ve jaba bhI hamAre muhalle meM se hokara nikalatI thIM, aura hama jisa muhalle meM jAte the na, maiM aura madara donoM jaba sAmane se A rahe hote the to hara eka ghara meM se loga bAhara nikalakara turaMta hI bA ko jaya zrI kRSNa, jaya zrI kRSNa kahA karate the| maiM usa samaya sAtha meM hotA thA to kyA usa samaya samajha nahIM jAU~gA ki unakA aisA prabhAva par3a rahA hai| __ hamAre yahA~ se jaba bar3audA taka jAte the taba bhI maiM sAtha meM hotA thA na, taba pUre gA~va meM sabhI logoM ko dekhatA hI rahatA thA ki yaha (bA kI) kaisI parsanAliTI hai! rAta ko sAta baje jaba basa meM se utarakara jAte the taba hamAre pAsa vAlA jo muhallA thA na, hameM usa muhalle meM se hokara jAnA par3atA thA to bA ke sAtha eka bAra vahA~ gayA thA maiM, taba sAtha vAle muhalle meM pacAsa ghara isa tarapha aura pacAsa ghara usa tarapha, itanA bar3A muhallA thaa| usa muhalle meM makAnoM ke bIca meM se hokara jAne kA rAstA thaa| usa muhalle meM dAkhila hote hI vahA~ para hara eka ghara meM se loga bAhara nikala-nikalakara kaha rahe the 'bA A gaIM, bA A giiN| hara eka strI khAnA banAte-banAte 'jhavera bA A gaIM, bA A gaIM, bA A gaIM, bA AIM' karate hue daur3I aatii| choTA sA muhallA thA isalie hara koI ghara se bAhara A jAtA thaa| donoM tarapha ke gharoM meM bhAga daur3a-bhAga daur3a maca gii| isI ko parsanAliTI (prabhAvazAlI vyaktitva) kahate haiM

Page #187
122 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) na! to pUrI galI ke loga hI bAhara A gae to kyA hama samajha nahIM jAe~ge ki inhoMne kyA prApti kI hai? samajha jAe~ge yA nahIM? kyA prApti kI hogI? praznakartA : prema prApta kiyA na? dAdAzrI : eDajasTamenTa / 'hAu TU eddjstt'| kyA ve sabhI acchI thIM? ve saba loga jo bAhara nikalakara Ae, kyA ve sabhI loga acche the? to acche-bure sabhI loga bAhara nikalate the| bA Ae, bA A gae, bA A gae! to vaha saba hameM dekhane milA yA nahIM? praznakartA : milaa| dAdAzrI : donoM tarapha ke sabhI ghr| aisA hI saba dekhA thA maiNne| usI kA mujha para prabhAva pdd'aa| unake saMskAra aise the, isalie! samatA va khAnadAniyata, ataH parezAna karane vAle ko bhI parezAna nahIM kiyA hamArI madara jaba gA~va meM nikalatI thIM, to cha:-sAta haz2Ara kI bastI kA gA~va, to gA~va ke sabhI loga, striyA~ vagairaha sabhI khuza ho jAte the inheM dekhkr| itanA suMdara ghara ki koI gAliyA~ de phira bhI bA ha~sate the, bahuta samatA vaale| maiMne kabhI bhI aisA nahIM dekhA ki bA ne kisI ko parezAna kiyA ho| logoM ne bA ko parezAna kiyA hogA lekina bA ne unheM parezAna nahIM kiyaa| praznakartA : hamArA unase thor3A-bahuta paricaya hai lekina dekhA ki aba taka maiMne aise iMsAna nahIM dekhe| dAdAzrI : aise iMsAna nahIM dekhe| dekhane ko mileMge hI nahIM na! aisI samatA! aisI khAnadAniyata, z2abaradasta khaandaaniyt| logoM ko prema se bhojana karavAne meM hI khuda tRpta ho jAte hamArI madara khAnA khilAte samaya hamezA bhUkhI rahatI thiiN| to

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[5.1] saMskArI mAtA 123 maiMne kahA, 'kyoM nahIM khAyA?' taba ve kahatIM, 'merA peTa to khAnA khilAte samaya hI bhara gayA, khAnA khilAkara hI!' to kyA aisA hotA hai ki koI isa taraha se tRpta ho jAe? lekina aisA hotA thaa| yadi tujhe bhUkha lagI ho aura phira maiM khAnA khilAne lagUM to maiM khuda hI tRpta ho jAU~, aisA ho sakatA hai kyA? kisI ne aisI koI bAta sunI hai ki khAnA khilAne vAloM kA peTa bhara jAe? mujhe aisA anubhava hotA thaa| praznakartA : hotA hai daadaa| jo khAnA khilAtA hai use aisA hotA hI hai, daadaajii| dAdAzrI : vaha acchA hai| unheM to bilkula bhI bhUkha nahIM lagatI thii| khAnA khilAne meM bahuta Age! maiMne aisA prema dekhA thaa| praznakartA : prema aura sahiSNutA kI mUrti! dAdAzrI : koI dahI lene Ae to itanA sArA dahI nikAlakara de detI thIM aura Upara se malAI vAlA, 'varnA apanA burA dikhegA', aisA karake phrI de dete the aura vaha bhI malAI vaalaa| ve loga puNyazAlI the na! nahIM? bA ke dhIraja ne bApU jI ko bacAyA praznakartA : aura phira ve dhIraja vAle bhI the! dAdAzrI : hA~! eka bAra aisA huA ki mere pitA jI rAta ko bAhara so gae the| pA~ca-sAta phuTa laMbA sA~pa nikalA aura vaha unake sira para car3ha gayA thaa| taba merI bA ne dekhA pUrA sA~pa zarIra para se hokara guz2ara gyaa| usake bAda bA ne mere pitA jI ko uThAyA aura kahA ki 'Apa binA oDhe so gae the| pUrA sA~pa Apake zarIra para se hokara nikala gyaa| aba maiMne garama pAnI rakha diyA hai to nahA liijie'| bA ne agara yaha samatA aura dhIraja nahIM rakhA hotA to pitA jI cauMkakara jAga jaate| pitA jI ko lagatA ki 'mujhe kATa legA', sA~pa ko lagatA ki

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124 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) 'mujhe maareNge'| aise meM sA~pa unheM kATa letA, lekina merI bA meM kitanA dhIraja thA! bahuta komala, isalie ghabarA jAtI thIM praznakartA : Apane kahA ki bA bahuta komala thIM to vaha kyA hai? dAdAzrI : yaha hamArI bA to bahuta hI komala thIM to isalie ve jaldI se ghabarA jAtI thIM (zeraDo pdd'e)| agara koI pulisa vAlA pUcha le ki 'ye bhAI yahA~ rahate haiM ?' to turaMta hI ghabarA jaatiiN| agara koI vyakti komala ho na, to vaha jaldI se ghabarA jAtA hai| zeraDo yAnI ki ghabarA jAnA, isalie unheM sabhI ke prati z2yAdA lAgaNI rahatI hai| saMskAra ucca isalie bahU kI bahU banakara rahe praznakartA : dAdA, sAsa ke rUpa meM kaisI thIM bA? dAdAzrI : bA ke saMskAra bahuta ucca the| hAi levala ke sNskaar| aisI saMskArI strI maiMne nahIM dekhii| bA uttara dhruva ke aura merI jo bhAbhI AI thIM ve dakSiNa dhruva, donoM ikaTThe ho ge| praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : donoM dhruva ikaTThe ho ge| yAnI maiMne to yaha bhI dekhA aura vaha bhI dekhA, mujhe to donoM kA anubhava ho gyaa| praznakartA : lekina kyA bA kucha nahIM bolate the? dAdAzrI : nahIM! kucha bhI nhiiN| yaha saba to unhoMne sahana kara liyaa| praznakartA : bahuta sahanazIlatA, aisI to maiMne abhI taka kisI meM nahIM dekhii|

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[5.1] saMskArI mAtA 125 dAdAzrI : ho hI nahIM sakatI! hamAre pUre gA~va meM nahIM thii| unake aise sAre saMskAroM se divAlI bA (dAdA kI bhAbhI) aura bhI ulTI calane lagIM, isa cIz2a kA durupayoga huaa| praznakartA : unhoMne aisA dekhA ki yahA~ para DhIla hai| dAdAzrI : hA~, DhIla dekhI isalie durupayoga huaa| praznakartA : unake dUsare guNa nahIM dekhe? dAdAzrI : ve guNa nahIM dekhe aura unakI kamaz2oriyA~ dekhIM isalie loga kahate the ki 'sAsa bahU ko kucha bhI nahIM kahatI isalie bahU car3ha baiThI hai', taba bA kahatI thIM ki 'maiM bahU se kyA kahU~?' lekina jaba koI bAhara vAlA Akara kahatA thA to mujhe joza A jAtA thaa| ve kucha nahIM kahatI thIM isalie mujhe mana meM aisA hotA thA ki 'maiM kaha dU~ unheM usa kAraNa se phira merA jhagar3A ho jAtA thaa| taba bA mujhe bhI manA karatI thIM ki 'bhAbhI se kucha mata kahanA', lekina vaha caritra bala to rahA hI hogaa| caritra bahuta acchA, uttama! hamArI bA kA caritra kitanA ucca ! praznakartA : ve bA to bA hI thIM, jhavera bA! dAdAzrI : unakA (hIrA bA kA) bhI caritra kitanA ucca thaa| jhavera bA ko (kabhI naz2ara uThAkara sakhtI se) nahIM dekhA hIrA bA ne| (saMpUrNa vinaya meM hI rhe)| unheM (hIrA bA ko) bhI bA ke ve acche saMskAra mile| divAlI bA ko bhI acche mile lekina divAlI bA ekadama sakhta bela bana gaI thIM na! isIlie unameM se kar3avAhaTa nahIM gii| bAkI, bhAbhI the yoginI jaise, usameM to do mata nhiiN| ina guNoM kI vajaha se bA para moha to mujhe moha sirpha bA para hI thaa| hA~, itane suMdara guNa the isIlie moha utpanna ho gyaa| prema bhare, paise-vaise kucha bhI nahIM cAhie thA unheM, aisI thIM merI baa|

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126 jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) praznakartA: sirpha bA para hI moha ? dAdAzrI : hA~, mujhe to bacapana meM, ajJAna dazA meM sirpha bA kI hI z2arUrata thI / ve bAhara jAtI thIM to mujhe apanI sAr3I dekara jAtI thIM / use hAtha meM lete hI mujhe nIMda A jAtI thii|

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke mAdhyama se bA ko parezAna kiyA kRSNa bhagavAna kI taraha praznakartA : Apane bA ko parezAna kiyA thA? dAdAzrI : kitanI hI bAra bA se binA pUche aMdara se dahI nikAlakara khA gayA, aMdara se malAI nikAlakara khA gayA, phalAnA khA gyaa| bacapana meM aisA kiyA thaa| praznakartA : to ApakI pUjA karanI caahie| kRSNa bhagavAna ne aisA hI saba kiyA thA to loga pUjA karate haiN| dAdAzrI : haaN| vaha saba to bA ko binA batAe khA jAtA thaa| taba mere sAtha eka-do lar3ake rahate the, ve kahate the ki 'Apa kRSNa bhagavAna ho| isa taraha se sArI malAI to koI bhI nahIM khaataa'| sArI malAI khA jAtA thaa| bA ke yahA~ ghI hI nahIM bana pAtA thaa| aba yaha jJAna hone ke bAda abhI bhI kitane hI loga mujhase kahate haiM ki 'Apa to pahale se hI kRSNa bhagavAna jaise the, aisA saba karate the kSatriya blaDa, to kSaNa bhara meM hI haldIghATI jaisA praznakartA : dAdA, Apane kahA ki Apa zarAratI the to kyA kisI ko mArA thA Apane? kisI bacce ko mArA thA yA nahIM bacapana meM? taba jhavera bA kyA karate the?

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128 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : hA~, mArA thaa| zarArata bhI kI thii| aisA nahIM hai zarArata nahIM kI! mArA thA, acchI taraha se mArA thA lekina phira bA ne manA kiyA ki 'aba mata mAranA kisI ko'| bA ne manA kiyA isIlie phira nahIM kiyaa| mUlataH to junuunii| z2arA koI ukasAne vAlA cAhie ki 'sAhaba ye saba car3ha baiThe haiM, A jAo', kyA kahate haiM ? phira the rAjapUta to vahA~ aura kyA ho sakatA thaa| kSatriya rAjapUta, aMdara bahuta z2ora thA, blaDa bahuta jozIlA thaa| kSaNa bhara meM jhagar3a par3ate the to haldIghATI jaisA yuddha bhI jama jAtA thaa| jhagar3A zurU ho jAtA ki isa tarapha loga lAThiyA~ lekara nikala par3ate the| are! kyoM yaha Dhizuma, Dhizuma, Dhizuma? bhujAe~ phar3akane lagatI thIM, jabaki ina logoM ne to eka soTI bhI nahIM lagAI! kaisI zakti? kabhI soTI mAranA to AyA nahIM! DA~ga se mArate the, dhaDAma se| mujhe to eka vyakti DA~ga se lagA gayA thaa| taba maiM turaMta nIce baiTha gayA thA, bahuta lagI thI lekina aMdara koI asara nahIM huA thaa| ina dosta aura dostoM ke jhagar3e meN| praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : jhgdd'e| hA~, eka matabheda huA ki una logoM kI to A bnii| lar3akoM kI bhujAe~ bhI mj'buut| kisI-kisI kI bhujAe~ itanI maz2abUta nahIM dikhAI detI thIM, patalI dikhAI detI? praznakartA : lekina tAkata j'yaadaa| dAdAzrI : are, vaha tAkata bhI kaisI tAkata thI! lohe jaisI tAkata! aura Azcarya kI bAta yaha thI ki una logoM kI bhujAe~ maz2abUta nahIM dikhAI detI thIM lekina yoM dekho to lohe jaisI tAkata thii| unakI haDDiyA~ itanI maz2abUta bhI aura mana bhI utanA maz2abUta thaa| 'mAra khAkara AnA, mAranA mata' bacapana meM eka bAra kisI ko eka choTe se patthara se mArakara AyA thA to use khUna nikala aayaa| taba phira, loga mujhe mArane na Ae~, isalie maiM cupacApa ghara A gayA! jhavera bA ko patA cala gyaa|

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 129 praznakartA : jaba Apa kisI ko mArakara Ate the, taba bA Apako mArate the kyA? dAdAzrI : samajhAte the| usake bAda unhoMne mujhase kahA ki 'bhAI yaha kyA kiyA? dekha, use khUna niklaa| yaha tUne kyA kiyA?' maiMne kahA, 'mAratA nahIM to aura kyA karatA?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'vaha to usakI cAcI ke pAsa rahatA hai, usakI mA~ bhI nahIM hai to use kauna paTTI vagairaha bA~dhegA aura kitanA ro rahA hogA becArA aura kitanA duHkha ho rahA hogA! aba kauna usakI sevA karegA? aura maiM to terI madara hU~, terI sevA kruuNgii| aba se tU mAra khAkara AnA lekina kisI ko patthara mArakara aura khUna bahAkara mata aanaa| tU patthara khAkara AnA to maiM tujhe ThIka kara dUMgI lekina use kauna ThIka karegA becAre ko'| aisI madara banAe~ mahAvIra praznakartA : abhI to saba ulTA hI hai| balki aisA kahate haiM ki 'dekha lenA! agara mAra khAkara AyA to!' dAdAzrI : hamezA se hI ulTA, Aja se nhiiN| abhI isa kAla kI vajaha se yaha nahIM huA hai, vaha hamezA se ulTA hI thaa| aisA hI hai yaha jagat ! isalie loga to aisA sikhAte haiM ki 'agalI bAra lakar3I lekara jaanaa'| saba duHkhI karane ke tarIke! ye mA~ jI to mujhe acchA sikhAtI thIM, sabakucha acchA sikhAtI thiiN| mujhe bahuta acchA lagatA thaa| bolo! aba aisI mA~ mahAvIra banAegI yA nahIM? merI mA~ jI thIM hI aisI! bacapana meM yaha bAta huI thI phira bar3e hone para samajhadArI bar3hI to aura z2yAdA samajha meM aayaa| bAkI, yadi aisA sikhAe to pahale to acchA hI nahIM lagegA na? lekina mujhe acchA lagA thaa| maiMne kahA, 'bA jo kaha rahI haiM, vaha bAta sahI hai| usa becAre kI madara nahIM hai| isalie phira samajha gayA turaMta hI, aura tabhI se mAranA baMda ho gyaa| kSatriya to hote haiM samajhadAra mA~ ke pAgala beTe yo saMsArI kahAvata hai ki kSatriya yAnI samajhadAra mA~ ke pAgala beTe

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130 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) vAstava meM kSatriya samajhadAra nahIM mAne jAte, saMsArika mAmaloM meM samajhadAra nahIM mAne jaate| praznakartA : dAdA, aisA kahane vAle hI tIrthaMkara bane haiN| dAdAzrI : baneMge hI na lekina ! unameM anya koI gA~TheM nahIM hotI na, gA~TheM nahIM hai tabhI aisA kaha sakate haiM na! aura gA~Tha vAlA to zabdoM kI velDiMga karake, poliza karake bolatA hai| ye to, agara poliza kiyA huA ho to use bhI ukhAr3akara bolate haiN| aura vaNika putra? pAgala mA~ ke samajhadAra beTe, bahuta smjhdaar| unameM samajhadArI hotI hai, mA~ pAgala hotI hai| yaha to logoM ne batAyA hai| yaha maiM nahIM kaha rahA hU~, aisI kahAvata hai| maiM kyoM kahU~? maiM kyoM isameM paDUM? mujhe kyA lenA-denA? yaha to jo kahAvata maiMne sunI hai, vaha Apako batA rahA hU~ isalie kucha burA mata maannaa| hameM pAgala kahA, vaha bAta mujhe pasaMda AI ki hA~! bAta sahI hai kyoMki merI mAtA jI ko dekhA thA, ve kSatrANI jaisI thiiN| yoM kabhI bhI bhala vAlI nahIM lagIM, koI dakhala nahIM aura hama to mUla rUpa se pAgala hI the| saralatA kI vajaha se bA ke manA karate hI baMda praznakartA : dAdA, bA ne Apako mArane se manA kiyA aura mAranA baMda ho gayA, vaha kaise? dAdAzrI : hA~! hamArI saralatA kI to dAda denI par3egI! taba choTA baccA thA, jaise mor3o vaise mur3a jaae| niSkapaTatA! lekina bA ne karuNA dikhAI ki... praznakartA : jJAna phiTa krvaayaa| dAdAzrI : haaN| unhoMne kahA ki 'maiM to terI bA hU~ aura maiM terI sevA karU~gI lekina usa bina mA~ ke bacce ko mArakara AyA to usa becAre kA kauna karegA aba?'

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 131 usake bAda maiM samajha gayA ki yaha galata hai| phira baMda kara diyaa| maiMne kahA, 'yaha to mujhase bhUla ho rahI hai'| kA~pa uThanA cAhie ki 'arere! isakA kyA hogA aba?' kA~pa jAte the hama to| use lagI, usake bAda mana meM bahuta hI pachatAvA huA thA ki aisA saba kaise ho gayA? becAre ko khUna nikalA! usa samaya aMdara ghabarAhaTa ho gaI thI chAtI meN| ye sabhI kSamya doSa lekina aisA nahIM honA caahie| hamane (khuda meM) akSamya doSa to dekhA hI nhiiN| ina jaise nirdaya nahIM, aisI nirdayatA nahIM thii| ye to khUna karane ke bAda, usa para baiThakara roTI aura kar3hI khAte haiM ! loga isa hada taka nirdayI hote haiN| yoM hI kisI ko parezAna kara Ate haiM, hullaDa vagairaha cala rahA ho taba peTrola chir3akakara A jAe~, aise haiM ye sb| binA hetu ke nahIM lekina jaise hI nAma liyA ki tUphAna praznakartA : dAdA, jaba Apa choTe the, taba Apako hullar3a vagairaha meM jAne kA mana hotA thA? / dAdAzrI : hotA to thA lekina aisA tUphAna nahIM macAte the| jisane hamArA koI bhI nukasAna nahIM kiyA usakA nukasAna kara deM, hamArA hullar3a aisA nahIM hotA thaa| hamArA to, yadi koI hamArA nAma le-le to vahA~ para tUphAna macA dete the| jabaki daMge-phasAda meM to, saba loga kisI becAre ne kucha bhI nahIM kiyA ho phira bhI usakA ghara jalA dete haiM aura dukAna jalA dete haiN| yaha saba kyA hai? praznakartA : koI lenA-denA nhiiN| dAdAzrI : lenA-denA nahIM, phira bhii| praznakartA : sirpha zauka ke lie hI na! dAdAzrI : nahIM, zauka bhI nahIM thaa| yaha to eka taraha kI bhedd'caal| usane kiyA, usane kiyA isalie usane kiyaa| binA soce-samajhe

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132 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) bhedd'caal| hamArA aisA nahIM thaa| hama hetu dekhate the, phAyadA dekhate the, nukasAna dekhate the| yadi hamArA nAma lete to phira ekAdha kI to A banatI thii| aMdara usase DisTarba ho jAte the, hindustAna-pAkistAna jaisA ho jAtA thaa| kahate the, 'A jaa'| pUrva ke saMskAra, madara ko dekhakara jAgRta hue praznakartA : Apako jo jJAna huA, usameM mA~ ke saMskAroM ke sAtha-sAtha Apa apane bhI pUrva janma ke ucca saMskAra lekara Ae hoMge na? dAdAzrI : bahuta ucca saMskAra hone cAhie, aisA maiM mAnatA hU~ kyoMki mujhe bacapana se vairAgya rahatA thA, hara eka bAta meN| madara bhI ucca koTi kI milI thiiN| madara acchI mila gaI thiiN| pUrI taraha se sabhI saMskAra sirpha madara ke hI! kyoMki merA kiyA huA to thA hI lekina jaba maiM yaha saba dekhatA, tabhI mujhe yaha saba AtA na! praznakartA : aura nahIM to kyA? dAdAzrI : ataH madara kA anubhava dekhane milA, isalie A gyaa| ye sAre madara ke saMskAra haiN| isa janma ke saMskAra hai lekina mAla to merA hI hai na? saMskAra yAnI Apake mAdhyama se mere mAla kA jAgRta honaa| mere mAla ko jAgRta karane ke lie anya saMskAroM kI bhI z2arUrata thii| kitane hI janmoM se maiM karatA A rahA thA to isa janma meM vaha TaMkI bharakara phuuttii| yaha saba khuda kA hI kiyA huA hai na! unhoMne yaha sikhAyA, to pUrI jiMdagI mujhe vaisA hI rhaa| yAnI ye to apane hI saMskAra haiM na! varnA kyA koI mA~ aisA kahegI ki 'tU mAra khAkara AnA?' ye apane saMskAra haiM aura mUlataH to maiM apane sabhI saMyoga lekara AyA thaa| niyama aisA hai ki jaise khuda ke saMyoga hote haiM vaisA hI pUrA mAhaula milatA hai| praznakartA : Apa mUla rUpa se, zurU se hI yaha mAla lekara Ae the?

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 133 dAdAzrI : haaN| maiM lekara AyA hU~ aura itanA suMdara mAla hai| dekhanA, usase logoM kA kAma nikala jaaegaa| pahale to khaTamala para bahuta cir3ha thI praznakartA : ahiMsA ke aise anya koI pATha jo mA~ se sIkhe hoM, vaisI bAteM batAie na, daadaa| dAdAzrI : bacapana se hI bAkI sabhI cIjoM ke lie hamArI cir3ha calI gaI thI lekina khaTamala para raha gaI thii| jhavera bA aura hIrA bA ko nIMda A jAtI thii| ve nahIM cir3hate the lekina mujhe cir3ha rahatI thii| khaTamala ke prati cir3ha ke kAraNa hamane logoM ko pUrI rAta-rAta bhara jAgate hue bhI dekhA hai| are! aura kisI kI kyA bAta kareM hamArA hI itanA sensiTIva svabhAva thA ki eka khaTamala ko bhI bistara para reMgate hue dekhakara pUrI rAta jAgate huI bitAI hai| zuruAta meM to maiM unheM khAne nahIM detA thA, nikAla detA thA aura phira vaiSNava ke ghara janma huA thA na, to mAra bhI detA thaa| vahA~ para hiMsA kA itanA adhika mahatva nahIM thA to ghara meM bhI aisA saba nahIM sikhAte the| phira yaha saba to bAda meM patA calA ki yaha saba galata huA hai| khaTamala Tiphina lekara nahIM Ate bahuta sAla pahale kI bAta hai| maiM paccIsa-chabbIsa sAla kA thA una dinoM ghara meM madara bImAra rahatI thIM, usa vajaha se ghara meM khaTamala ho gae the, z2arA z2yAdA ho gae the| ghara meM sabhI parezAna ho gae the| jaba iMsAna bahuta bur3hApe meM kamaz2ora ho jAtA hai na, taba zarIra bhI kamaz2ora ho jAtA hai taba khaTamala ho jAte haiN| to bA ke bistara para bichAne kI do narama raz2AiyA~ thIM to unameM khaTamala ho gae the| phira ve mujhe bhI kATate the! merA bhI nasIba to hogA na ! merI madara mujhase chattIsa sAla bar3I thiiN| madara se maiMne pUchA ki Aja taka kabhI bhI khaTamala nahIM hue hai lekina isa sAla bahuta khaTamala

Page #199
jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) ho gae haiM to kyA ve rAta ko kATate nahIM hai ? parezAnI nahIM hotI ? taba unhoMne kahA, 'bhAI kATate z2arUra hai lekina usameM mujhe koI Apatti nahIM hai'| maiMne pUchA 'kyoM ? ye to pUrI rAta kATate haiN'| taba kahA, 'una khaTamaloM meM yaha eka guNa bahuta acchA hai'| maiMne pUchA 'kauna sA ?' to kahA, "bhAI, ve kyA koI poTalI lekara Ate haiM ? ve khAnA khAkara cale jAte haiM / ve koI poTalI lekara nahIM Ate haiN'| 134 khaTamala to bhikSuka haiN| ve kahA~ jholI lekara Ae haiM? jaba una bhikSukoM kA peTa bhara jAegA to cale jAe~ge / unheM ghara - vara nahIM banAne haiM aura kala ke lie bhI kucha le nahIM jaate| dUsaroM kI taraha ve koI Tiphina lekara thor3e hI Ate haiM ki 'hameM kucha denA na, mAI - bApa ?' loga to Tiphina lekara Ate haiM jabaki ye Tiphina lekara nahIM Ate isalie mujhe koI Apatti nahIM hai, " bA ne kahA / to mujhe yaha zabda pasaMda AyA / maiMne kahA, 'yaha bAta to upakArI hai / ye zabda mujhe kAma ke laga rahe haiN'| unhoMne kahA, ve poTalI lekara nahIM Ate haiN| yadi poTalI bA~dhakara le jAte to unheM rokanA par3atA ki ruko, kyoM bA~dha rahe ho ? jabaki ve to khAnA khAkara cale jAte haiN| yAnI apane jaise parigrahI nahIM hai| unhoMne itanI acchI bAta kahI ki usase mujhe helpa huI, mujhe acchI lgii| maiMne kahA, 'ye kitanI dhIraja vAlI haiM ! dhanya hai mA~ jI ko ! aura isa beTe ko bhI dhanya hai ! ' loga kyA khaTamala ko jAne dete haiM ? hAtha meM AyA ki use mAra hI dete haiN| taba phira maiM usase pUchatA hU~ ki 'kyA tujhe aba pakkA vizvAsa ho gayA hai ki eka kama ho gayA hogA ? kauna sI gAranTI se tU samajha gayA ki eka kama ho gayA ? taba to roz2a ke roz2a kama hI hote jAe~ge ' / to kahA, 'nahIM! aisA koI niyama nahIM hai'| mujhase pUchA, 'kyA karanA cAhie ?' taba maiMne kahA, 'khaTamala ko mArane kI z2arUrata hI nahIM hai'| aura phira bhI agara mArate hI raheMge... lekina loga yaha nahIM jAnate ki khaTamala kisa vajaha se hote haiM ? aba, jaba sIz2ana badalatA hai taba jo loga nahIM mArate haiM unheM bhI eka bhI khaTamala nahIM milatA / taba ve

Page #200
[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke (khaTamala) khatma ho jAte haiM apane Apa hI, aura jo loga mArate hI rahate haiM unake yahA~ bhI sIz2ana meM khaTamala hote hI rahate haiM / taba agara pUrI taraha khatma karanA cAheM, phira bhI nahIM hote| Apa mArapITakara khatma kara bhI doge to phira par3osI ke ghara meM se ghusa jAe~ge ! to bhAI ! chor3a na ise, rakha na eka tarapha / 135 praznakartA : lekina dAdA cakatte par3a jAte haiM aura phira use khujalAte rahanA par3atA hai| dAdAzrI : hA~, lekina nIMda meM kyA hotA hai ? ve aisA kahate haiM ki, 'agara Apa hameM parezAna karoge to hama rAta ko nIMda meM kATeMge lekina hama apanA hisAba pUrA karake hI jAe~ge ' / praznakartA : hama to phliTa ( jIvajaMtu mArane kI davAI) chir3akakara pUrA pakkA karake phira so jAte haiM / dAdAzrI : hA~ ! lekina kyA kisI kA bhI ghara khaTamala rahita huA hai? ye sAre upAya galata haiN| ulTe upAya haiM / isa saMsAra meM sabhI loga jitane bhI upAya karate haiM, ve sabhI ulTe upAya haiN| upAya use kahate haiM ki phira se kabhI hameM vaha duHkha na rhe| ina ulTe upAyoM se to ve duHkha hamezA hI rahate haiN| yaha samajha meM A rahA hai ? aura dUsarA kyA hai ki Apako patA nahIM hai ki Apa jinheM mArate ho unakI Ayu kitanI hai ? kyA unakI Ayu sau sAla hai, jo unheM mArate ho ? kitanI Ayu hogI unakI ? praznakartA : unakI Ayu to kucha dinoM kI hI hotI hai| dAdAzrI : unakI Ayu lagabhaga ikkIsa dina hotI hai| aba vaha jo khuda hI marane AyA hai use mArakara Apa kyoM jokhimadArI lete ho bekAra hI / jinakA sRjana nahIM kara sakate, unheM nahIM mAra sakate phira una mehamAnoM se (khaTamaloM se ) maiMne pUchA, 'Apa yaha kisa

Page #201
136 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) taraha se karate ho? ApakI Ane-jAne kI kyA kriyA hai ? hama sau mAra dete haiM to phira se ye dUsare nae kahA~ se A jAte haiM ?' taba unhoMne batAyA 'hamArA vaMza kama nahIM hotA, jitane mAroge utanA Apako jokhima rahegA jabaki hama utane ke utane hI rheNge'| 'ija iTa paoNsibala (yaha saMbhava hai)?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'hA~! kyoMki dUsare gharoM se (hama) A jaaeNge'| taba AsapAsa meM jo jaina the na, unake vahA~ mArane-karane kA rivAz2a to thA nhiiN| isalie yaha saba calatA hI rahatA thA, sAre bistara bAhara DAla dete the| apane yahA~ para koI bhI bistara vagairaha bAhara sukhAne ko nahIM ddaaltaa| bAhara nahIM DAlate the isalie ve sabhI yahA~ apane ghara A jAte the, mukAma karate the| taba maiMne to yaha niSkarSa nikAlA ki ghara meM jitane jIvajaMtu hote haiM, yadi unheM bIna-bInakara bAhara nikAla dete haiM, bAhara rakha Ate haiM to phira par3osa meM rahane vAloM ko preshaanii| isalie isa pIr3A se dUra hI rho| yaha to calatA hI rhegaa| isameM yadi citta rakheMge to aMta hI nahIM AegA na! aura apane yahA~ mArane kA niyama to hai hI nhiiN| eka bhI jIva ko nahIM mAranA caahie| aisA saMyoga kahA~ se milA Apako? ye akarmI kitane pApa bA~dhate haiM, usakI unheM khabara nahIM hai! aura khaTamala ko hama banA nahIM sakate to phira unheM mAra kaise sakate haiM? kyA Apako yaha nyAya lagatA hai? nahIM mAranA cAhie na? agara eka khaTamala bhI banA sako taba patA clegaa| mArane kI zakti hai lekina usameM yadi banAne kI zakti ho tabhI mAranA caahie| isa duniyA meM kyA koI eka khaTamala bhI banA sakatA hai ? to phira nahIM mAranA caahie| phira bhI yadi akla kAma karatI rahe to kyA karanA cAhie? 'bhAI, ina gaddoM ko bAhara DAla denaa| bAhara becAre dhUpa meM tapa jAe~ge, phira bIna-bInakara ikaTThe karanA aura phira bAhara dUra kahIM pheMka aanaa'| una jIvoM ko mArane ke bAda dUsare jIva Ae~ge yA nahIM, usakI kyA gAranTI? jIvajaMtuoM kA sAinsa to sirpha jJAnI hI jAnate haiN| ye jIva utpanna kyoM hue haiM aura kyoM mara jAte haiM ? vaha ina mUrkha logoM ko patA hI nahIM hai| hara eka jIva apanI Ayu lekara hI AtA hai, vahA~ ye

Page #202
[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 137 akarmI mArane kA nimitta banate haiM! ve (ApakA) hisAba hI haiN| cAhe kitane bhI mAro phira bhI agara gyAraha ko kATanA hogA to kATeMge lekina bArahavA~ nahIM kaattegaa| dAdA kI anokhI zailI khaTamaloM se bhI bAtacIta praznakartA : phira kyA huA dAdA? khaTamaloM ko mAranA baMda ho gayA? kaise huA? dAdAzrI : maiMne to phira dUsarI taraha se jA~ca kI ki 'bhAI, jaba hama jAga jAte haiM aura lAiTa lagAte haiM to Apa bhAga kyoM jAte ho?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'Apa loga mAra doge, hiMsaka ho'| hama logoM se bhayabhIta hokara bhAga jAte haiM becAre! yaha to hameM khUnI jaisA lagatA hai| maiMne to unase pUchA thA ki 'hameM ahiMsaka bananA hai'| taba unhoMne batAyA, 'Apa kaisI hiMsA kara rahe ho? yaha ApakI hiMsA kA hI phala hai| hama phala de rahe haiM hiMsA kaa| dveSI banakara Apane hama para dveSa kiyA hai| usake bAda se maiMne taya kiyA ki mujhe hiMsaka nahIM rahanA hai| iMsAna ke pasIne meM se svayaMbhU utpanna hone vAle taba phira maiMne pUchA, 'lekina Apa khAnA khAne kyoM Ate ho?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'isake alAvA hamArI aura koI khurAka nahIM haiN| bhaiMsa kA dUdha hama se pIyA nahIM jA sakatA, hama to sirpha manuSya kA hI khUna pIne vAle loga hai kyoMki hama svayaMbhU cIz2a haiN| Apake pasIne meM se utpanna hote haiM isIlie hama Apake hI haiN| aba kyA rAstA nikAloge?' khaTamaloM ko to bhagavAna ne manuSya jAti kA batAyA hai| khaTamaloM ko tiryaMca nahIM mAnA hai, manuSya deha mAnA hai| (use svedaja kahA jAtA hai) unheM asaMgI manuSya kahA gayA hai| __ AhAra sirpha manuSya kA rakta ye khaTamala manuSya meM se hI Ae haiM aura ve sirpha manuSya kA rakta hI pIte haiM, ve aura kucha bhI nahIM khaate| yahI unakI khurAka hai| ve loga

Page #203
138 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) hama jaise nahIM haiN| apane loga to aise haiM ki yadi unheM koI bhojana karAe aura phira kahe ki 'kucha lenA ho to lekara jAie', to dasa-bIsa laDDU le Ate haiN| jabaki inheM aisA kucha bhI nahIM hai| taba phira kahA~ jAe~ ve becAre ? yAnI iMsAna ke blaDa ke alAvA unheM aura koI blaDa nahIM caahie| praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : kahA~ jAe~ ve, yaha batAo? kauna sA aisA hoTala hai jahA~ ve jAe~? kyoMki yahI unakI khurAka hai| anya koI khurAka nahIM hai| yahI spezala phUDa hai| yadi dUsarA phUDa hotA to hama lAkara unheM khilA dete| vaha bhI phira manuSya kA khUna, jAnavara-vAnavara kA khUna nahIM cltaa| manuSya kA khUna hI unakI khurAka hai| yadi ghI-dUdha pIte to hama unheM de dete| lekina ve vaha nahIM lete, chUte bhI nahIM haiM becaare| apanI hoTala (deha) meM jo hai vahI unakI khurAka hai, aura kahA~ jAe~ ve? yaha saba soca liyA thA maiNne| socane meM kucha bhI bAkI nahIM rakhA thaa| nirbhaya banAyA aura ArAma se khilAte the isalie phira unheM bhojana karane detA thaa| Ae ho to, 'khAnA khAkara jaao| yaha hoTala acchA hai, khAnA khAkara jAo ArAma se| bhayabhIta mata honaa'| ve mere hAtha meM A jAte the, pakar3e bhI jAte the| eka-eka mere hAtha meM A jAtA thA lekina ve bhayabhIta nahIM hote the| ve samajha gae the ki 'ye mAreMge nhiiN'| saba samajhate haiN| hara jIva samajhatA hai ki 'ye mujhe mAreMge yA nahIM!' Apake bhAva ko pahacAna jAte haiN| sirpha manuSyoM ko hI sAmane vAle ke bhAvoM ko pahacAna ne meM bahuta dera lagatI usake bAda to hama khaTamaloM ko jAna-bUjhakara khUna pIne dete the, kATane bhI dete the ki 'yahA~ para Ae ho to aba khAnA khAkara jaao'| usa becAre ko nikAla to nahIM sakate the na! kyoMki isa hoTala meM kisI ko duHkha nahIM denA hai, vahI hamArA kaam| apanI hoTala meM AyA hai to

Page #204
[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 139 kyA khAnA khAe bagaira jAegA? hamArI laoNja meM Ae to kyA Apa use laoNja meM se jAne doge? praznakartA : nhiiN| _ 'inheM aMtima pada do' dAdAzrI : to kyA hama yahA~ se yoM hI jAne dete? khaTamala ko bhI khAnA khilAyA hai| aba agara nahIM khilAte to usake lie kyA sarakAra hameM koI daMDa detI? nhiiN| hameM to AtmA prApta karanA thaa| aba usakA kyA phala milA? khaTamala meM rahe vItarAga hamAre aMdara rahe hue vItarAga ko phona karate the ki 'aise koI dAtA nahIM dekhe isalie inheM zreSThatam pada do'| sirpha, jaba yahA~ garadana para kATate the taba vaha sahana nahIM hotA thaa| jaba vaha sahana nahIM hotA thA taba phira maiMne prayoga kiyaa| maiM unheM yahA~ se uThAkara pairoM para rakha detA thA kyoMki ve loga samajha gae the ki ye ahiMsA vAle haiM isalie turaMta mere hAtha meM A jAte the| hote the cAra hI khaTamala lekina phira bhI hAtha meM A jAte the| ve samajha gae the isalie phira maiM paira para rakha detA thaa| yahA~ para judAI nahIM hai| kahA~ jAe vaha becArA bhUkhA? 'yahA~ (paira para) Apa khAnA khAo lekina isa kamare (garadana para) meM mata khAnA', khaa| jaba mujhe garadana para kATate the to maiM uThAkara hAtha para rakha detA thA tAki becArA bhUkhA na rahe! yaha jagat kaisA hai? yaha apanI mAlikI kA nahIM hai| jo khAe usake bApa kaa| ___kATe taba patA calatA hai ki prema kahA~ hai praznakartA : sirpha 'isa kamare meM mata khAnA lekina yahA~ vAle kamare meM khAnA', aisA kahate the! dAdAzrI : haaN| itanI kamaz2orI dekhI maiMne ki 'yahA~ para mata khaanaa| isa kamare meM Apako nahIM khAnA hai, bAkI saba jagaha khaao| khAnA khAkara hI jAo, khAe bagaira nahIM jAnA hai| aisA hameM eka-eka khaTamala se kahanA pdd'aa| unheM bhUkhA kaise nikAla dete? kitane hI khAnA

Page #205
140 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) khAkara jAte the ArAma se! to rAta ko hameM bhI AnaMda hotA thA ki itane sAre khAnA khAkara ge| yoM do logoM ko khAnA khilAne kI zakti nahIM hai jabaki yaha to itane sAre khaTamaloM ko khilAyA! 'jitane Ae utane ArAma se khAo bhAI, ApakA hI ghara hai, hama khAnA khilAkara bhejate the| bA apane mehamAnoM ko khAnA khilAkara bhejate the aura hama apane mehamAnoM ko khilAkara bhejate the| vaha apanA peTabhara khAnA khAkara phira ghara calA jAtA thA aura phira aisA bhI nahIM hai ki ArAma se dasa-paMdraha dina kA eka sAtha khAtA thA! eka dina to lagabhaga nau sau se eka hajAra khaTamala car3ha gae the| phira bhI maiMne kahA, 'tuma ho aura maiM hU~, jitanA khAnA ho utanA khAkara jaao'| hama jAgate hue khAnA khilAte haiM / pA~ca khaTamala khAe~ to acchA hai yA haz2Ara? hj'aar| tvacA ko sunna kara dete the, phira hai koI saMtApa? ataH mere jJAna ne kahA, 'rAta ko jagAte haiM, ye dhyAna karane meM upakArI haiN'| aura dekho! tapobala se aMdara prakAza ho gyaa| kyoMki ve AtmA ko nahIM kATate the, deha ko kATate the| yadi abhI taka deha para prema hai to AtmA para kaba prema AegA? khaTamala ke kATane para hameM patA calatA hai na ki prema kahA~ para hai? tapa karake bhI khaTamala ke sAtha koI matabheda nahIM to matabheda nahIM par3ane diyA hamane, khaTamala se bhI matabheda nhiiN| ghara meM kabhI jaba khaTamala ho jAte the to unase koI matabheda-vatabheda nhiiN| khaTamala bhI becAre samajha gae the ki ye matabheda rahita iMsAna haiN| hameM apanA koTA (hissA) lekara calate bananA hai| praznakartA : isakA kyA pramANa hai ki Apa yaha jo de dete the to vaha pUrva kA seTalamenTa nahIM ho rahA hogA? dAdAzrI : seTalamenTa hI thA, seTalamenTa ! yaha kucha nayA nahIM thA, lekina seTalamenTa kA prazna nahIM hai, abhI to bhAva nahIM bigar3anA cAhie na? nayA bhAva nahIM bigar3anA cAhie na? vaha saba seTalamenTa hai, iphekTiva hai lekina abhI nayA bhAva nahIM bigar3anA caahie| balki hamArA nayA bhAva

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 141 maz2abUta ho jAtA hai ki 'bhale hI sahana karanA par3e lekina yaha karekTa hai'| Apako acchA lagA? maiM jo bailensa karane kA kaha rahA hU~ usase... kyA-kyA phAyade hote praznakartA : eka to zAMti rahatI hai| cira shaaNti| dAdAzrI : nahIM, parezAnI to hotI hai! sahana karane meM parezAnI to hotI hai| praznakartA : lekina kleza se mukti rahatI hai| dAdAzrI : hA~, kleza se mukti rahatI hai| sahana karane para kleza se mukti rahatI hai| jAgate hue khAnA khilAkara hisAba cukAe praznakartA : nIMda meM to hameM bhI kitane hI khaTamala kATa lete hoMge lekina jAgate hue nahIM kATane dete| dAdAzrI : vaha to maiMne unase pUchA thA ki 'hama jAga rahe haiM taba taka to Apako haTA dete haiN| Apako koI Apatti to nahIM hai na?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'nahIM! hama to khA leMge isalie Apa ArAma se so jAo, acchI taraha khA leNge'| nIMda meM to ve acchI taraha khAnA khA hI lete haiM na! kudarata kA niyama aisA hai ki 'Apako sulAe bagaira rahegI nahIM aura hama khAe bagaira raheMge nhiiN| ApakI isa hoTala meM hama khAkara hI jAe~ge!' ve khAkara hI jAte haiN| ye khaTamala Akara mujhase kaha jAte haiM ki, 'ye sabhI loga cAhe kitane bhI prayatna kareM, cAhe hameM kitanA bhI rokeM, cAhe kucha bhI kareM lekina unake sone ke bAda hama le lete haiM lekina hama hamArA hisAba to cukA hI dete haiN'| jo jAgate hue kATane deM, ve shuurviir| jo jAgate hue

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142 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) hisAba cukAte haiM, unakA hisAba cuka jAegA jabaki nIMda meM hisAba nahIM cuka paaegaa| varnA sote hue to hisAba cukAne hI dete haiM na loga! rAjAvAjA sabhI karane dete haiM na? Apako kyA lagatA hai ? praznakartA : ThIka hai, nahIM karane dete| dAdAzrI : maiM to jAgate hue hI hisAba cuka jAne detA thaa| Apake kharrATe lete hI sabhI khaTamala eka sAtha ikaTThe hokara bAhara nikala Ate haiM, car3ha baiThate haiM aura ArAma se baiThakara khAnA khAte haiM ! ve khAnA khAkara cale jAte haiN| phira subaha pA~ca baje eka bhI nahIM dikhAI detaa| khAnA khAyA ho yA nahIM lekina pA~ca bajate hI cale jAte haiN| subaha zAMta, pharsTa klAsa khAnA khAkara zAMti se ArAma karatA hogaa| itanA khAtA hai ki hAtha lagAte hI phUTa jAtA hai becaaraa| are! mara jAtA hai| apane hAtha badabUdAra ho jAte haiM balki! ve ArAma se khAnA khAkara jAte haiM, vaha bhI vyavasthita hai na! praznakartA : haaN| jo jAgRta avasthA meM khAnA khilAe~, unake caurAsI prakAra ke tApa jAe~ dAdAzrI : to usake bajAya jAgRta avasthA meM khAne do na unheM, haM, ho jaaegaa| jaba DaoNkTara injekzana dete haiM usa samaya nahIM cubhatA hai kyA? use kyoM eksepTa kara lete haiM? 'lekina bukhAra utara jAegA na!' to ye jo injekzana lagAte haiM na, to usase vaha vAlA bukhAra utara jAegA', aisA kahA hai| caurAsI prakAra ke tApa, mana ke jo tApa hai na, ve sabhI ekadama se khatma ho jaaeNge| ye Apase rAta meM le jAte haiM ! dina meM nahIM lene dete na, jAgate hue? praznakartA : nahIM, dAdA! kitanA ucca prakAra kA samabhAva Ae, taba kahIM aisA ho sakatA hai! dAdAzrI : aisA to maiM aThAIsa sAla kI umra meM karatA thaa| yahA~ (gale para) khaTamala Ate the na, to unheM yahA~ (pairoM para) rakha detA thaa|

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 143 bhUkhA nahIM jAne detA thA kyoMki yaha to maiMne khoja kI hai, samabhAva nahIM lAyA huuN| maiMne biz2anesa kiyA hai| samabhAva to! Apako biz2anesa karanA hI nahIM AtA hai to vaha to kaise karoge? yoM samabhAva to rakhA jAtA hogA bhAI? jo kATe usa para kyA samabhAva rakhA jAtA hogA? adbhuta biz2anesa dAdA kA, nukasAna meM bhI kiyA naphA praznakartA : to Apane biz2anesa kiyA dAdA? dAdAzrI : haaN| biz2anesa kiyaa| mUlataH to vyApArI hU~ na ! jaba Apa nIMda meM khAnA khA hI jAte ho aura mujhe mUrkha banAte ho to hamArI jAgRta avasthA meM hI hamArI hoTala meM khAkara jAo na ! maiMne biz2anesa kiyA na! isIlie phira maiMne eDajasTamenTa DhUMDha nikAlA ki ye jo khaTamala haiM ve nIMda meM to kATa hI jAte haiM to usake bajAya jAgate hue hI le jAo na! isIlie jAgRta avasthA meM unheM khAnA khilAyA, 'hA~, kaatto'| aura ve bhUkhe nahIM marate, roz2a khAnA khA lete haiN| ye khaTamala aise nahIM hai ki bhUkhe mreN| loga nIMda meM khAne dete haiM aura hama jAgRta avasthA meM khAne dete haiM aura phira unheM mArane-karane kI koI bAta hI nhiiN| taba phira maiMne taya kiyA 'maiM kSatriya hU~, mujhe nIMda meM kyoM khilAnA par3e, jAgRta avasthA meM hI na khilA dU~?' ahaMkAra thA na una dinoM? kSatriyapana kA ahNkaar| to vaha ahaMkAra kyA nahIM kara sakatA? lekina vaha jo kATane detA thA, vaha ahaMkAra se thaa| bhUkhe kyoM jAne deM? ve khaTamala kyA kahate haiM ? 'yadi tU khAnadAnI hai to hameM hamArI khurAka lene de aura agara khAnadAnI nahIM hai to yoM bhI hama khAnA khAkara cale jAe~ge lekina jaba Apa so jAoge, tb| ataH tuma zurU se hI apanI khAnadAniyata rakhanA!' to maiM khAnadAnI bana gayA thaa| yadi pUre zarIra para kATa rahe hote the na, taba bhI kATane detA thaa| isa taraha pA~ca-pA~ca sAla nikAle haiM maiNne| mana meM aisA thA ki hama kSatriya haiM, kyoM na ve khAnA khAkara jAe~? isa taraha ke sAre tapa to kie haiM maiNne| eka janma to tapa karo, anya aura koI tapa karane ke bajAya / loga to balki kahate

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144 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) haiM, 'tapa karane haiM mujhe, upavAsa karanA hai mujhe'| 'are! kyA upavAsa karegA? jaba ye khaTamala kATeM taba tapa karanA, khaTamala aura maccharoM ke sAmane', aisI kaThoratA kI hai isa zarIra para lekina vaha sahI rAstA nahIM thA na! praznakartA : use asahaja kaheMge? dAdAzrI : nhiiN| vaha saba nakala kI thI, igoiz2ama se nakala kI thii| hAlAMki aba hamAre bistara para khaTamala Ate hI nahIM haiN| becAroM kA hisAba khatma ho gyaa| yadi hisAba adhUrA rakhate to hisAba kaccA rhtaa| hama to ArAma se khAnA khAne dete the| khAnA khAkara kyA ve mere aThahattara sAla le gae hai? haiM na hama, aThahattara sAla kI umra meM, ArAma se! jAgRta avasthA meM kATane diyA usase jJAna prakaTa huA praznakartA : Apa jaisI kSatriyatA hama meM nahIM hai, isalie kATane nahIM dete haiM to anya kauna sA upAya kara sakate haiM? dAdAzrI : khaTamala kATe to usake lie anya upAya bhalA kyA hai? unheM bAhara DAla aao| Apako zaMkA rahatI hai ki 'ye mujhe kATa leMge', to Apa unheM bAhara DAlakara Ao, bAkI jagat zaMkA karane jaisA nahIM hai| Apako ThIka na lage to cunakara bAhara rakhakara Ao aura maiM to cunatA bhI nahIM thaa| isase phira merI pUrI rAta jAgate hue hI bItatI thI, ina khaTamaloM ke kaarnn| phira bhI parezAna nahIM huaa| hameM khaTamala kATate the na, lekina kabhI bhI hamane uThAkara bAhara nahIM pheNke| hamane kATane diyA hai lekina ApameM itanI zakti nahIM AegI isalie Apase aisA nahIM kahatA huuN| Apako to khaTamala pakar3akara bAhara DAla Ane haiM tAki Apako mana meM saMtoSa ho jAe ki yaha khaTamala bAhara calA gyaa| hama to, jaba sardI ke dinoM meM z2arA nIMda A jAe to dhIre se or3hA huA nikAla dete haiM, phira vahI (ThaMDa hI) jAgRta rakhatI hai| jJAnI ko

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 145 to koI nahIM jagAtA to unheM aisA kucha cAhie na? agara kisI ke ghara para gesTa Ae~ to ve jagAte haiN| gesTa dekhe haiM Apane? eka-do khaTamala ghusa jAe~ to ve jagAte haiN| maiM samajhatA hU~ ki 'acchA huA, kalyANa kiyaa| yaha acchA hai ki ye uThA dete haiN'| ve gesTa kahalAte haiN| ve sAtha meM kucha le nahIM jaate| bhara peTa khAkara jAte haiN| kyA kabhI dekhe nahIM Apane? kabhI hamArI bhI bArI AtI thI lekina aba mujhe nahIM chuute| __ ye nIrU bahana kahatI haiM, 'aMdara khaTamala dikhAI de rahe haiN| maiMne kahA, "Apako ThIka lage vaha karanA, bIna lenaa'| taba kahane lagIM, 'eka dina saba nikAla deM to?' maiMne kahA, 'nahIM aisA mata karanA, bhale hI khAe~ becAre, haiM to khA rahe haiN| marane ke bAda nahIM khaaeNge| praznakartA : nahIM khAeMge! dAdAzrI : ve samajha jAte haiM ki hoTala calI gii| yaha hamArA kSatriya guNa hai! yaha guNa hamAre lie bahuta helpa phula hai| yaha ahaMkAra sakhta hai, DhIlA nahIM pdd'taa| aise prayoga to hamane bhI kie haiM ki jAgRta avasthA meM kATane diyA isIlie to jJAna prakaTa huA! yaha to itanA adbhuta jJAna hai ki z2arA sA bhI asara na ho| cukA do hisAba, phira nahIM kATeMge khaTamala praznakartA : dAdA, hamArA dhIraja to kama par3a jAtA hai ki kaba ina khaTamaloM ke kATane kA aMta AegA? dAdAzrI : vaha to galata bhrama hai| isase bhI unake sAtha kA hisAba pUrA hotA hai, khaTamaloM kA bhI hisAba pUrA hotA hai| yadi Apa hisAba cukAne doge na, to hisAba khatma hone ke bAda khaTamala Apako chue~ge bhI nhiiN| Apako khaTamala vAle bistara para sulA deMge phira bhI Apako nahIM chueNge| isa jagat kA nyAya hI aisA hai| nahIM hai kyA nyAya? yaha jagat bilkula nyAya svarUpa hai| phira ve Apako chue~ge bhI nahIM, macchara-vacchara Apako kucha bhI nahIM chueNge| jahA~ maccharadAnI bA~dhate haiM na, vahA~ ghUmate rahate haiN| hisAba cuka jAne ke bAda Apa agara opana meM so jAoge

Page #211
146 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) phira bhI Apako nahIM chueNge| loga to dhakelate rahate haiM aura hisAba nahIM cukane dete| lekina bAta bhI sahI hai, jaba taka kamaz2orI hai taba taka maccharadAnI bA~dhakara soo| praznakartA : mArane se to acchA hai na? dAdAzrI : agara usameM kamaz2orI hai to| bAda meM kabhI dhIre-dhIre kama ho jAegA lekina apanA bhAva aisA hI rakhanA hai ki mAranA nahIM hai| khaTamala ko nikAlo, lekina mAro nahIM praznakartA : aisA hI maccharoM kA bhI hai| aba maccharadAnI lagAkara hama aisA karate haiM ki ve hameM kATeM nahIM aura z2arA caina se ArAma karane dAdAzrI : maccharadAnI lagAne meM harja nahIM hai| praznakartA : kyA usameM harja nahIM hai? dAdAzrI : naa| usameM harja nahIM hai| Apa unheM mAro to usameM Apatti hai| varnA pUrI rAta jAgakara khaTamala ko nikAlo taba bhI koI Apatti nahIM hai| pUrI rAta jAgate rahoge to khaTamala cale jaaeNge| aba isameM to koI maccharadAnI hai nahIM, khaTamaloM ke lie kaise lAoge? maccharadAnI lagAnA ArAma se| hama aisA nahIM kahate haiM ki Apa maccharadAnI mata lgaao| kyoMki isa kAla ke manuSyoM kI tAkata nahIM hai na, yaha saba sahana karane kI! sahana karane kI zakti bhI honI cAhie na! use kyA kahate haiM ? titikssaa| bistara para rakhane para bhI na kATeM to ho gayA hisAba pUrA praznakartA : hama jaba yAtrA para gae the, taba Apake Dibbe meM to kitane sAre khaTamala the! dAdAzrI : haaN| phira bhI mujhe nahIM chU rahe the| jitane loga ina khaTamaloM ko mArane kI hiMsA karate haiM na, unheM jitane khaTamaloM ne kATA,

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 147 utanA mujhe nahIM kaattaa| Apake bistara para khaTamala rakhane para bhI agara ve Apako nahIM kATeM to samajhanA ki 'unake sAtha kA apanA hisAba cuka gayA hai| __ ye khaTamala becAre kitane samajhadAra haiM! ye hamAre Upara reMgate haiM lekina kATate nahIM haiM kyoMki jAnate haiM ki ye mAreMge nhiiN| khAnA khatma huA aura mehamAna Ae praznakartA : Apa jaba bacce the taba bA ne Apako smjhaayaa| usI prakAra kyA aisA bhI kucha huA thA ki bar3e hone ke bAda Apane bA ko samajhAyA ho? dAdAzrI : hA~, eka bAra aisA huA thaa| usa samaya maiM paccIsachabbIsa sAla kA thaa| taba eka bAra hamAre ghara para aisA huA ki dopahara ke bAraha-sAr3he bAraha ho gae the, to aise samaya para hama saba khAnA khAne baiThe the| ghara meM una dinoM tIna hI loga the| maiM, merI vAipha hIrA bA aura baa| hama zahara meM rahate the, to gA~va meM se aksara hamAre yahA~ loga Ate hI rahate the| to aise meM kucha hI dera bAda bhAdaraNa se tIna-cAra mehamAna A gae! dUsare tIna-cAra to alaga lekina unameM hamAre eka mAmA the, ve Ate hI bole ki 'bhA~je hama Ae haiM, khAnA khaaeNge'| aba, khAnA khAne se pahale yadi cAra loga Ae hote na, to hama khAnA rahane dete aura dUsarA saraplasa karake thor3I dera bAda sAtha meM baiTha jAte lekina yaha to hamAre khAnA khAne ke turaMta bAda hI aae| aMdara patIlI meM sabjI, dAla-cAvala vagairaha thor3A-thor3A bacA thA, lagabhaga saba khatma ho gayA thaa| aba khAnA ho cukA thA to patIlI meM sirpha eka kaTorI dAla par3I thii| bAI le jAe utanI hI, cAvala bhI basa bAI le jAe utane hI bace the| hamane cAra loga (khuda tIna aura cauthI kAma vAlI bAI) jitanA hI banAyA thA agara aura do loga A jAte to z2yAdA bnaate| varnA zahara meM to ina logoM kA z2yAdA banAkara pheMkane kA rivAz2a hI nahIM hai na? praznakartA : nhiiN|

Page #213
148 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : aba, jAna-pahacAna vAle aura usameM bhI khAsa taura para riztedAra hoM to ve kaheMge to sahI na, ki abhI hama khAnA khAe~ge, aisA kahate haiM na, maz2Aka karate haiM na? to unheM ghara meM Ate dekhA to maiMne AvAz2a lagAI, maiMne kahA, 'Aie, Aie, padhArie, pdhaarie| baiThie vahA~ pr'| to ve Age vAle kamare meM baiTha ge| 'abhI kahA~ se A gae?', dekhI bA kI kamaz2orI garmI kA mausama, sakhta garmI, merI mA~ jI mere sAmane hI khAnA khAne baiThI thiiN| mujhe kahA, 'ye abhI kahA~ se A gae?' kyA kahA? praznakartA : ye abhI kahA~ se A gae? dAdAzrI : una logoM ko sunAI de usa taraha se nahIM, lekina yoM hAvabhAva para se maiM samajha gayA ki ye kyA kahanA cAha rahI haiM? ve loga to Age vAle kamare meM kapar3e badala rahe the aura apane thaile rakha rahe the| unheM patA nahIM thA ki ye kyA kaha rahI haiM? lekina maiM mA~ jI ke hAvabhAva se samajha gayA isalie maiMne mA~ jI se kahA 'baiThie, abhI zAMti rkhie'| izAre se aise kiyA to ve samajha ge| hama to vaiSNava DevelapamenTa vAle, phira bhI bA jo thIM na, ve bahuta acche svabhAva vAlI thiiN| hamArI bA kA mana to kabhI bhI, z2arA sA bhI bigar3A hI nahIM thA na, lekina usa dina bigar3a gayA! unake mu~ha se kamaz2orI sunI eka bAra, taba aisA lagA ki 'inakA mana bigar3a rahA hai'| aisI bA to maiMne kahIM bhI nahIM dekhI thIM! ar3atAlIsa sAla unake sAtha rahA, lekina mujhe unakA koI doSa dikhAI nahIM diyaa| lekina eka hI bAra unakA doSa dekhA thA usa kSaNa ki khuda kI mati se yA cAhe kucha bhI ho lekina bA ke mu~ha se yaha nikala gayA ki 'ye mare abhI kahA~ se A gae!' bA ne aMdara hI aMdara kahA, vaha maiMne suna liyaa| 'aise khAnadAnI iMsAna ne aisA kahA?' vaha acchA nahIM lagA hamArI bA bahuta hI khAnadAnI thiiN| bA kA svabhAva bahuta hI umadA

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 149 thaa| hamArI bA bahuta bar3e mana kI thIM, bahuta diladAra mana kI, bahuta prema vaaliiN| ve to bilkula devI jaisI thiiN| mujhe saMskAra to unhoMne hI die the| phira bhI unakA khuda kA mana TUTa gayA aura usa kSaNa unakI bhAvanAe~ calI giiN| jo kabhI bhI nahIM bolIM, khuda unhoMne mujhase kahA, 'ye mare abhI kahA~ se A gae?' ve to nobala thIM lekina mujhe unakI 'yaha' nobiliTI acchI nahIM lgii| aba jinheM maiM saba se mahAna AtmA mAnatA hU~ aura jina bA ne mujhe saMskAra die the, ve bA itanI adhika manuSya premI thIM ki pUrI jiMdagI usI meM arpaNa kI thii| jaba unakA bhI dhIraja kho gayA to mujhe ghabarAhaTa ho gaI ki ye kyA kaha rahI haiM ? ataH mere mana para asara ho gayA ki aise khAnadAnI vyakti yadi aisA bola sakate haiM to aura logoM kI bisAta hI kyA? aise asala khAnadAnI iMsAna ko maiMne apanI jiMdagI meM dekhA thaa| to mujhe huA ki ye bhI aisA kaha rahI haiN| jo mujhe aisA sikhAtI thIM ki 'koI paththara mAre to mAra khAkara AnA lekina mArakara mata AnA', ve bhI aisA kaha rahI haiM ? unameM bhI itanI hInatA A gaI! isakA kyA kAraNa hai? unheM aisA vicAra AyA! thaka gaI thIM isalie phira se mehanata karane meM parezAnI thI phira maiMne patA lagAyA ki, 'inhoMne aisA kyoM kahA?' to yaha ki aba thaka to gaI haiM aura bA se becAre se kAma to nahIM ho pAtA lekina unake mana meM aisA thA ki 'hamArI bahU ko aba khAnA banAnA par3egA, kitanI musIbata hai!' isalie becArI bA ne aisA khaa| 'Aja subaha se, pUre dina kAma karake thaka gaI aura phira aba yaha bhI karanA par3egA?' kyoMki mehamAna bhI aise saMyogoM meM Ae the jaba ve becArI thaka cukI thIM, aura aba vApasa banAnA pdd'egaa| ataH ve mana hI mana parezAna ho gaIM aura maiM bhI samajha gayA thA ki bA aura hIrA bA thaka cuke haiM, to aba kauna banAegA? to maiMne kahA ki 'yadi Apase nahIM ho pAegA to maiM banA luuNgaa'| unakI madada to karanI par3atI na becAroM kI!

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150 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) samaya ke AdhAra para hama samajha jAte haiM na, ki aba ye to A gae haiN| phira bA ke mana meM aisA huA ki 'abhI to dAla bhI nahIM hai aura kucha bhI nahIM hai, jaldI Ae hote to! hamAre khAnA khAne se pahale Ae hote to dAla thor3A idhara-udhara karake, thor3A kama lekara bhI isakA hala nikAla dete'| 'thor3I dAla bacI hotI to cAvala banA dete| aba to dobArA dAla bhI banAnI pdd'egii| abhI dAla khatma ho gaI hai| phira dopahara meM z2arA sone kA samaya huA taba ye Ae haiN| aba phira se kaba dAla banAe~ge? dasa baje Ae hote to aisA nahIM khte| abhI yaha saba phira se karanA par3egA na,' isalie mana meM parezAnI ho gii| yAnI kyA ki cAvala-dAla kI nahIM par3I thI lekina mahenata kI par3I thI isalie maiM mana meM samajha gayA ki ina logoM ko mahenata nahIM karanI hai| zarIra meM kamajorI A gaI hai| bA aise haiM ki kabhI bhI aisA nahIM kahate, lekina unhoMne bhI aisA kahA aura unake sAmane to acchI taraha se bAta kI ki 'Aie, padhArie' A~kheM bhI acchI rakhakara, lekina mana meM thA ki 'ye mare abhI kahA~ se A gae?' maiMne kahA 'aisA? kyA kahA yaha?' dhIre se puuchaa| ve loga to bAhara baiThe the| maiMne kahA 'Apane aisA? Apa mujhe aisA sikhAte ho, aisA zobhA nahIM detaa'| taba ve turaMta hI palaTa ge| 'nahIM, kucha bhI nahIM' aisA khaa| taba maiM samajha gayA ki inakA koI doSa nahIM hai aura 'aba ye loga thaka gae haiM, mana se thaka gae haiN| anya koI bhAva nahIM bigar3A hai'| jhaTapaTa AsAna sA khAnA banA diyA, dAdA ne ataH bA ko usa samaya maiMne kucha nahIM kahA, usa samaya maiMne leTa go kiyaa| ve loga bAhara baiThe the na! isalie maiMne inase akele meM kaha diyA, 'Apa saba ArAma se so jAo, Apa z2arA ArAma kro| Aja mujhe banAne do ina logoM ke lie'| usake bAda maiMne kahA, 'maiM sabakucha kara lU~gA, Apa ArAma kro|

Page #216
[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 151 sAdA banAU~gA, bahuta huA to roTI nahIM banAU~gA, ATe kA haluvA banA duuNgaa| mujhe to AtA hai halavA, sabjI, khicar3I vagairaha saba aura isa taraha se kucha bhI kara luuNgaa| aisA mujhe karanA aaegaa| Apa parezAna mata honaa| Apa parezAnI meM dAla banAne rakhoge aura cAvala banAoge to ve bhI Apase paoNz2iTivalI nahIM hogA aura maiM to yaha samajhA dUMgA ki 'mAmA khAnA khA lo, calo jhaTapaTa, Apako bhUkha lagI hogii| varnA bahuta dera ho jaaegii'| haluvA hai, sabjI hai aisA saba unake lie banA deMge to ve khuza ho jaaeNge| apane yahA~ loga haluvA parosane para khuza ho jAte haiM aura AlU ko talakara pharsTa klAsa sabjI banA deM to bahuta khuza ho jAte haiN| aura kyA kareM phira? praznakartA : to Apane banAyA? dAdAzrI : hA~, phira maiMne banA diyaa| idhara-udhara karake haluvAvaluvA hilA-hilAkara de diyA sArA aura thor3I kar3hI banA dI, itanA haluvA banAyA thA aura thor3I khicar3I car3hA dii| dAla-cAvala to rAma terI mAyA! maiMne socA, 'yaha bilkula AsAna hai, dAla-cAvala banAne kI parezAnI kyoM mola le', usake bAda una logoM ne acchI taraha se khAnA khaayaa| haluvA khAkara khuza ho gae ve log| cAhe kaise bhI saMyoga hoM, lekina bhAva mata bigAr3anA phira una logoM ke khAnA khAkara cale jAne ke bAda agale dina mA~ aura vAipha se maiMne kahA 'aba yadi phira se kabhI bhI aisA vyavahAra hogA, ghara meM kabhI bhI aise bhAva hoMge, to maiM ghara se vairAgya le luuNgaa| maiM yahA~ se saMsAra kA tyAga karake sAdhu dazA apanA luuNgaa'| DarAne ke lie isa taraha sakhtI se kahA thaa| una dinoM jJAna nahIM thA lekina itanI sakhtI se kahA thaa| isa taraha dhamakAyA thA maiNne| trAgA (apanI manamAnI karavAne ke lie kiyA jAne vAlA nATaka) kiyA thaa| aisA kaise calegA? phira ye loga Dara ge| lekina mujhe kahanA par3A ki 'koI bhI iMsAna rAta ko tIna baje Ae taba bhI use khAnA khAne ke lie pUchanA aura kisI kA mana z2arA

Page #217
jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) sA bhI nahIM bigar3anA cAhie, cAhe kaise bhI saMyoga hoN| agara yahA~ kisI bhI samaya koI gesTa Ae, cAhe AdhI rAta ko kitane hI loga Ae~ taba bhI mana kA bhAva z2arA sA bhI nahIM bigAr3anA caahie'| usa dina donoM se maiMne yaha vrata livaayaa| 152 ApakA mana bigar3egA to vairAgya le lU~gA 'dopahara bAraha baje bAda yadi koI vyakti Ae aura ApakI tabiyata z2arA narama ho to sote rhnaa| maiM khuda banA luuNgaa| AyA hai to bhAva nahIM bigAr3anA, varnA khAnA to phira bhI khilAnA hI par3egA lekina bhAva bigAr3akara khilAoge to mujhe nahIM pusAegA / AcAra bigar3egA to calegA lekina ApakA mana bigar3egA to maiM vairAgya le lU~gA' / maiMne itanI dhamakI dI thii| usake bAda unhoMne aisA nahIM kiyaa| usake bAda se kabhI bhI kisI ke lie bhAva nahIM bigar3A z2arA sA bhI / aisA kaise zobhA de sakatA haiM hameM ? usake bAda se saba badala gayA kyoMki unameM Dara baiTha gayA ki 'ye vairAgya le leMge', to usake bAda ghara para vAtAvaraNa aisA hI ho gayA / cAhe koI bhI Ae lekina bhAva nahIM bigdd'e| maiMne kahA, usake bAda to kaI sAloM taka aisA rahA, mana bhI nahIM bigar3A / phira zarIra kamaz2ora ho gayA, aba to koI kisI kA kara hI nahIM sakatA na, lekina aisA hI rahA thA / phira abhI to bur3hApA A gayA, isIlie aisA saba nahIM ho pAtA / sAdA banAnA lekina bhAva mata bigAr3anA loga kahA~ Ate haiM becAre ! ve to enI TAima A jAte haiM to maiMne unase kahA, 'Apako khAnA nahIM banAnA ho to harja nahIM hai lekina jo kucha bhI ho, vaha parosa denaa| jo A pahu~ce haiM unake lie khicar3I, sabz2I jo bhI ho, vaha dila se banAnA / aMdara bhAva bigar3ate raheM to vaha kisa kAma kA ? ve loga bhI samajha jAe~ge ApakI A~khoM para se ki ina logoM ke bhAva auroM jaise hI haiM ' /

Page #218
[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 'abhI nahIM Ae hote to acchA thA', aisA bhAva nahIM honA caahie| aise bhAvoM se to yadi mana eka bAra bigar3a jAe to subaha agara usa vyakti ko bistare bA~dhatA hue na dekheM, to lagatA haiM ki 'are! ye mue to vApasa Aja bhI rukeMge hii| ThIka hai zAma ko jAe~ge lekina Aja kA khAnA to banAnA hI par3egA' aura vaha bhI bigar3e hue mana se khilAnA par3atA hai| usake bAda zAma ko bhI agara bistarA bA~dhate hue na dekheM to phira se ceharA bigar3a jaaegaa| usake bAda to cAhe mana bigAr3akara, nAkhuza hokara bhI karanA par3atA hai| 153 bhale hI bhatIje kA jamAI ho, lekina jo kucha bhI ho vaha, khicar3I aura sabz2I rakha denA / Apako jo Iz2I lage vaha, lekina unheM bhAva se, prema se khAnA khilAnA, basa / sabz2I-roTI, jo jaldI se bana sake vaha bnaanaa| maiM aisA nahIM kahatA ki kaMsAra banAnA inake lie / ijz2ata ke lie nahIM lekina premapUrvaka bhojana karavAnA hai mujhe praznakartA: dAdA, apanI iz2z2ata rakhane ke lie acchA-acchA banAte haiM, phira bhale hI bhAva bigar3e hue hoM ! dAdAzrI : maiM to aise niyama vAlA hU~ ki cAhe koI bhI riztedAra Ae, ulTe-sIdhe TAima para Ae, lekina mana meM aisA kucha bhI nahIM rahatA ki 'mujhe merI iz2z2ata rakhanI hai'| mujhe unheM premapUrvaka bhojana karavAnA hai| cAhe kucha bhI, roTI yA sabz2I rakha deM, merI iz2z2ata nahIM jAtI / maiM iz2z2ata banAne nahIM AyA hU~ ki mere yahA~ aisA bhojana honA cAhie, aura aisA caahie| hamAre yahA~ aisA niyama thA jabaki loga to itane iz2z2atadAra haiM ki ve subaha - subaha zrIkhaMDa-pUr3I khilAte haiM ? zrIkhaMDa khilAe~ge tabhI unheM iz2z2atadAra mAneMge na, iz2z2atadAra! 'aisA kyoM kara rahe ho ? ' ' zrIkhaMDapUr3I kA rauba to jamAnA hai'| maiMne bA se kaha diyA ki 'mujhe rauba nahIM jamAnA hai| yahA~ riztedAra yA jamAI Ae~ to Apako jaisI suvidhA ho vaha banAnA lekina prema se khilAnA' / praznakartA: samajha meM AyA /

Page #219
154 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : vicAra nahIM bigar3ane cAhie bilkula bhI, ArtadhyAnaraudradhyAna nahIM honA caahie| Aie, padhAriye ApakA hI ghara hai'| aisI poliza nahIM karanI hai hmeN| poliza nAma mAtra ko bhI nahIM honI cAhie, saahjik| jo ho vaha de do| yadi sabjI nahIM ho to mata denA, acAra nikAlakara de denaa| sApha-sApha kaha denA ki Aja sabjI nahIM hai bhAI, calegA? lekina prema se denaa| roTI khAne ko taiyAra hai yaha duniyaa| Apa jo bhI prema se do, yaha duniyA vaha khAne ko taiyAra hai| ye loga khAnA khilAne vAloM se parezAna ho gae haiN| prema se dI gaI moTI roTI logoM ko pasaMda hai| ataH yadi prema se khilAyA to bahuta ho gyaa| jagat prema DhU~Dha rahA hai, cIjeM nahIM prema kI z2arUrata hai, anya koI z2arUrata nahIM hai| jagat prema DhUMDha rahA hai, cIjeM nahIM DhU~Dha rhaa| vahA~ para tU bhojana mA~ga rahA hai? agara tujha para prema rakhate haiM to tujhe aisA lagatA hai ki bahuta acchA hai| koI burAI nahIM karanI hai na! khicar3I-kar3hI khilAe~, taba bhI? haaN| aura agara burAI kareM to bhI harja nahIM hai| cAhe kucha bhI ho phira bhI prema se khilaao| hA~, iMsAna ko bhUkha ke samaya para bhojana caahie| kyA vaha usake ghara para khicar3I-kar3hI nahIM khAtA hai ? to phira apane yahA~ kyoM nahIM khAegA? vaha apane ghara para rAta ko khAtA hogA to apane yahA~ dina meM khilaaeNge| sTaoNka meM jo bhI ho vaha de denaa| apane lie to prema hI bhojana hai| praznakartA : sTaoNka hI na ho to? dAdAzrI : kisa cIz2a kaa| praznakartA : roTI yA kucha bhI nahIM ho to? dAdAzrI : nahIM ho to kyA harja hai? Apa kahanA, 'baiThie jI, khAne ko kucha bhI nahIM hai, Aja khAlI hai| abhI canA-namakIna ma~gavA dete haiN| ye chaH Ane haiM merI jeba meM, usameM se hama sabhI khA leNge| calo, cAya aura nAztA kara lete haiN'|

Page #220
[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 155 eka bAra cetAvanI dene ke bAda hamezA usa niyama kA pAlana kiyA praznakartA : hamAre yahA~ to 'atithi devo bhavaH' aisA kahate haiM na? dAdAzrI : hA~! tithi taya kie binA, ciTThI-viTThI likhe binA jo Ae~, ve atithi| aura usa samaya yadi apanI pariNati acchI rahI to use jAgRti kaheMge, vaha puruSArtha khlaaegaa| taba phira mokSa ke lie sarTiphAiDa hone kI taiyArI ho gii| kasauTI para kharA to utaranA par3egA na? taba ve loga bhI samajha gae ki 'maiMne khuda khAnA bnaayaa| phira maiMne una logoM ko samajhAyA ki 'inakI tabiyata z2arA ThIka nahIM praznakartA : phira saba DhakanA par3atA hai| nahIM? dAdAzrI : DhakanA to par3egA hI n| varnA apanI hI kamI ujAgara hogI na? praznakartA : ThIka hai| lekina dAdA! ve jo Ae, ve bhI bhagavAna hI haiM na? dAdAzrI : vaha to aba patA calA ki bhagavAna haiN'| bhagavAna ke lie mana bigADane meM harja nahIM hai kyoMki unheM bulAne vAle to lAkhoM loga haiM lekina inheM (mehamAna) bulAne vAlA to koI nahIM hai isIlie apane yahA~ para bhAva nahIM bigAr3anA caahie| hama kauna loga haiM! kahA~ apanA vyavahAra ! nizcaya na ho to ThIka hai lekina vyavahAra to ucca honA cAhie na! yahI saba se bar3A tapa hai| usake bAda jiMdagI bhara unhoMne isa niyama kA pAlana kiyA lekina isa ghaTanA se unheM bahuta hI pachatAvA huaa| ve jo mehanAma Ae the, vaha vyvsthit| ve rahe, vaha bhI vyvsthit| ve gae, vaha bhI vyvsthit| taba kyA phira ulTA socanA cAhie? socanA hI nahIM cAhie n| phira ve jo kucha bhI khAte haiM, vaha apane haqa kA hI khAte haiM to phira unake lie ulTA vicAra hI nahIM AegA aura prema se khAnA khAkara jaaegaa|

Page #221
156 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) to yaha nAsamajhI ghusa gaI thii| saMskArI parivAra meM nAsamajhI ghusa jAtI hai auroM kA dekhakara, par3osiyoM kA lekina usake bAda to isa eka hI ghaTanA ne unheM sAvadhAna kara diyaa| aisA to zAyada hI kabhI hotA hai, aisA kahIM roz2a-roz2a nahIM hotaa| usake bAda to jo koI bhI AtA hai, ArAma se khA-pIkara hI jAtA hai| dUsaroM ke mana bigar3e, isalie nahIM khAyA kisI ke bhI yahA~ praznakartA : Apa to itane jAgRta the isalie, lekina bAhara anya kahIM para to aisA hI ho gayA hai ki mana bigar3e bagaira rahatA hI nhiiN| dAdAzrI : hA~, isIlie kama umra se hI pacAsa sAla kI umra taka kisI kA mehamAna nahIM bnaa| eka hI jagaha para gae the| vahA~ bhojana ke samaya unakA ceharA phUlA huA dekhA hogaa| usake bAda se maiMne soca liyA ki 'ina logoM ke yahA~ khAnA khAne jAne jaisA nahIM hai| apane pAsa ho to khilA deMge lekina khAne ke lie to jAnA hI nahIM hai'| maiMne to kisI ke yahA~ khAnA nahIM khAyA hai, nanihAla meM bhI nahIM jAtA, bahuta huA to ekAdha dina ke lie jAtA huuN| logoM ke mana bigar3a cuke haiM aura vaha cir3hA huA iMsAna kyA nahIM kara sakatA? 'hama' choTe the phira bhI bA pUchate the praznakartA : dAdA, aisA bhI sunA hai ki Apa choTe the, phira bhI bA Apase pUchate the? dAdAzrI : haaN| eka bAra vyavahAra meM kisI ko kucha denA thA taba hamArI bA ne hama se pUchA ki 'isameM kyA karanA cAhie? kyA dU~?' taba maiMne kahA, 'bA, Apa choTI-choTI bAtoM meM mujhase kyoM pUchatI ho? Apa assI sAla kI, maiM cavAlIsa sAla kA, to mujhase z2yAdA to Apa jAnatI ho| Apako jo ThIka lage vaha krnaa'| taba bA ne kahA, 'nahIM! pUchanA cAhie tujhse| mana jaisA cAhe vaisA nahIM kara skte'| 'assI sAla kA suthAra aura pA~ca sAla kA mAlika' lekina mAlika se pUchanA par3atA hai| maiM cAhe kucha bhI (mA~) hU~ phira bhI suthAra hI mAnI jaauuNgii|

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 157 bA kA mahAna upakAra, paradeza nahIM jAne diyA praznakartA : bA kI anya koI bAteM hoM to batAie na, dAdA? dAdAzrI : AI.vI.paTela mujhe AphrikA le jAnA cAhate the| mujhe vahA~ kI kisI kaMpanI meM lagAnA cAhate the lekina mujhe aisA lagA ki mujhe vahA~ para naukarI karanI par3egI aura vahA~ para phira mujhe jhidd'keNge| merI madara ko bhI aisA thA ki paradeza nahIM bhejanA thaa| praznakartA : kitanI umra thI taba ApakI? dAdAzrI : aThAraha sAla kA thA taba se bheja rahe the, AphrikA jAne ki lie... praznakartA : mUlajI bhAI bheja rahe the? dAdAzrI : mUlajI bhAI ke mAmA ke beTe lagate haiM aaii.vii.pttel| AI.vI.paTela ne kahA, 'maiM le jAU~ aMbAlAla ko?' vaha to phira bA ne nahIM jAne diyA, bA ne kahA 'mujhe paradeza nahIM bhejanA hai, mere pAsa hI acchA hai'| mujhe to z2yAdA kucha nahIM cAhie thaa| oNla reDI kaoNnTraikTa kA yaha sArA kAma cala rahA hai| bAkI, ghara para tarasAlI meM (pA~ca-sAta bIghA jamIna) thI, z2arA usakI AmadanI thI aura yahA~ (dasa bIghA bhAdaraNa kI z2amIna) kI AmadanI thii| praznakartA : bA ne to pUrI duniyA para bahuta bar3A upakAra kiyA! dAdAzrI : bA to mujhe kahIM jAne hI nahIM detI thiiN| mere binA bA ko acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| vahA~ cale gae hote to bahuta huA to amIra bana gae hote to amIra banakara phira logoM kI gulAmI kro| chor3o na, yaha kyA bhUta? bhagavAna ko khojane kI icchA thI bacapana se hii| usa gola (dhyeya) ke sTezana taka paha~ca ge| yaha pUrI duniyA jise khoja rahI hai, hama usa jagaha para pahu~ca gae haiM isalie zAMti ho gaI, kAma pUrA ho gyaa| 'mere lie to tU A gayA, to basa' jaba hamArI bA kI bahuta umra ho gaI thI na, taba bA chihattara sAla

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158 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) kI thiiN| AkhirI ATha sAla taka maiM unake pAsa hI rahA thA kyoMki ve 'merA aMbAlAla, merA aMbAlAla, merA aMbAlAla' karatI rahatI thIM aura kucha bhI nahIM cAhie thaa| merA ceharA dekhate ki khush| rAta ko kaI bAra ve acAnaka aise uTha jAtI thIM, 'muMbaI se nahIM AyA, muMbaI se nahIM aayaa'| isalie phira maiMne apane pArTanara se kahA 'kucha samaya ke lie AU~gA lekina jyAdAtara yahA~ bA ke pAsa rhuuNgaa'| hA~, madara to bahuta acchI thIM, mere bagaira unheM bilkula bhI acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| mujhe bAhara gA~va se vApasa AnA par3A thaa| vahA~ unake pAsa rahanA par3A thaa| 'bAkI saba krnaa| mujhe paise bhI nahIM cAhie, kucha bhI nahIM caahie|' paise to kabhI bhI mA~ge hI nahIM, kabhI bhI nhiiN| dete the taba bhI kahatI thIM ki mujhe paisoM kA kyA karanA hai? mere lie to tU A gayA to bahuta ho gayA! maiMne kahA 'bA, Apako paise kyoM nahIM cAhie?' to aisA kahA ki "apane yahA~ kahAvata hai ki 'bApa dekhatA hai lAte hue aura mA~ dekhatI hai Ate hue'| mere lie to tU AyA to bahuta ho gyaa|" aura bApa to, 'kyA lAyA', aisA pUchate rahate haiN| muMbaI se AyA to tU kucha lAyA hai kyA? abhI aisA nahIM hotA hai na? mA~ bhI lAtA huA hI dekhatI hai? bA ko caubIsoM ghaMTe aMbAlAla yAda rahate the| maiM agara muMbaI jAU~ to unase rahA nahIM jAtA thA, sahana nahIM ho pAtA thaa| aura kucha bhI nahIM cAhie thA, basa aMbAlAla caahie| caubIsoM ghaMTe, sirpha yahI dhyAna, jaba dekho taba dhyAna meM vahI rahatA thaa| ataH mujhe kAma-dhaMdhA chor3akara sAtaATha sAloM taka yahIM rahanA pdd'aa| unake sAtha hI baiThA rahatA thaa| phira maMtra bulavAtA thA, dUsarA kucha bulavAtA thA, aura kucha bulavAtA thaa| 'darzana karane jaisA to sirpha tU hI hai' bA to kabhI bhI bAhara maMdira meM darzana karane nahIM ge| aSTamI ho yA gokulASTamI ho, sabhI dosta kyA kahate the ki kala bA ko darzana karavAne ke lie gAr3I bhejuuNgaa| taba mujhe kisI se gAr3I lenA acchA nahIM

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 159 lagatA thA isIlie phira maiMne bA se pUchA ki 'kala darzana karane ke lie jAne ke lie z2arUrata ho to...' taba bA ne kahA 'bhAI, maiM to apanI jiMdagI meM sirpha yahI mAnatI hU~ ki agara darzana karane yogya koI hai to sirpha tU hI hai| maiM kahIM bhI darzana karane nahIM jAtA thaa| to hamAre ghara meM se hama donoM loga darzana karane ke lie nahIM gae kisI bhI jagaha pr| bA kahatI thIM 'darzana karane ke lie tU to ghara meM hai hI, phira mujhe darzana karane kyoM jAnA hai? mujhe darzana karane bAhara jAne kI z2arUrata hI nahIM hai'| ataH bA kabhI bhI darzana karane nahIM ge| bA ke lie to yahI darzana, jo bhI kaho saba, yhii| 'merA bhagavAna tU hai,' pahacAna liyA thA bA ne loga kyA deha ko namaskAra karate haiM? nahIM, ve to pUjya guNoM kI vajaha se namaskAra karate haiN| hamane apanI bA se kahA thA, 'aba Apako bAhara darzana karane jAne kI z2arUrata nahIM hai| aba ghara para hI darzana krnaa'| to hamArI bA roz2a hameM namaskAra karatI thiiN| bA to kamplITa mAnatI thIM ki 'tU bhagavAna haiM, merA bhagavAna tU haiN'| maiMne kahA bhI thA ki 'Apake yahA~ bhagavAna Ae haiM', taba unhoMne kahA, 'hA~ mere yahA~ Ae haiN'| bA mAnatI thIM lekina bAkI saba logoM ko kaise samajha meM Ae becAroM ko? samajha meM AnA cAhie yA nahIM? samajha meM Ae binA kyA karate ve? hIrA ho phira bhI koI le jAe do biskiTa dekr| le leMge yA nahIM leMge? praznakartA : le leNge| dAdAzrI : isa duniyA kA Azcarya hI kahe jAe~ge ye dAdA bhagavAna ! terI aisI bAteM mujhe bahuta acchI lagatI haiM praznakartA : dAdA, kyA bacapana se hI bA kA Apake prati aisA bhAva rahA?

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160 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : haaN| bA ne mujhase eka bAra pUchA ki 'bhAI, Aja tUne dAtuna nahIM kiyaa'| taba maiMne kahA ki 'agara ikaTThe kare to pUrA kamarA bhara jAe utanI dAtuna ikaTThI kI hoMgI phira bhI yaha jIbha sApha nahIM haI to isakA aMta hai yA nahIM?' taba bA ne kahA, 'terI aisI bAteM sananA mujhe bahuta acchA lagatA hai, phira bhI dAtuna to karanA par3egA na?' bA kA mana Ahata na ho, isalie tIna-tIna bAra khAtA thA praznakartA : dAdA, Apa bhI bA kA bahuta dhyAna rakhate the na? dAdAzrI : bar3audA meM jaba maiM bAhara nikalatA thA to merA sarkala aisA thA ki kisI jagaha para phrenDa ke vahA~ jAtA to phrenDa ke vahA~ koI gesTa Ae hue hote to kahate ki 'Aja to khAne para baiTha hI jaao'| taba mujhe baiThanA hI par3atA thA, merA calatA hI nahIM thaa| Aja ye ekadama naI hI taraha ke Ama lAe haiM, Apa baiTha jaao'| vaha pIche par3a jAtA thA, taba phira use maiM manA nahIM kara pAtA thaa| vahA~ para eka pUr3I aura itanA thor3A sA rasa z2arA-jarA sA khA letA thaa| phira maiM kahatA thA ki 'merI tabiyata z2arA ThIka nahIM hai, tabiyata ThIka nahIM hai' to vahA~ para itanA hI khAtA thaa| phira dUsarI jagaha kisI jAna-pahacAna vAle ke yahA~ jAtA aura vaha kahatA ki 'Aja to Apa khAnA khAkara jAo', taba phira se kabhI aisA saMyoga mila jAtA to dUsarI jagaha para bhI khA letA thA, lekina zurU se maiM z2arA sA hI letA thaa| maiM jAnatA thA ki yaha saba to khela hai apnaa| phira jaba ghara AtA thA taba bA ke sAtha khAtA hI thaa| nahIM to bA binA khAe hI baiThI rahatI thIM aura agara ghara para Akara na khAU~ to bA ko burA lgtaa| bA kahatIM ki 'tU mere sAtha nahIM khAtA hai lekina maiM tere sAtha khAtI huuN'| taba phira bA ke sAtha khA letA thaa| praznakartA : to agara bA ke sAtha nahIM khAte to nahIM calatA thA? dAdAzrI : nhiiN| agara maiM nahIM khAU~ to bA kA mana duHkhatA thaa|

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 161 isIlie to maiM dostoM ke vahA~ thor3A-thor3A hI khAtA thA, itanA-itanA sA aura ghara Akara thor3A khA letA thaa| bacapana se hI aisA prayoga kiyA thaa| dopahara ko eka hI bAra khAtA thA, usake bajAya tIna-tIna bAra khAnA ho jAtA thA meraa| eka jagaha para sAr3he gyAraha, dUsarI jagaha para bAraha aura tIsarI jagaha para sAr3he bAraha baje khAtA thaa| tInoM ke hI mana ke samAdhAna ke lie praznakartA : lekina usa samaya isa taraha tIna jagahoM para kyoM khAnA khAte the? dAdAzrI : koI bahuta hI pIche par3a jAe to usake mana ke samAdhAna ke lie| phira koI dUsarA kahe to usake mana kA samAdhAna karane ke lie aura bA ke saath| praznakartA : tInoM ke hI mana kA samAdhAna karane ke lie| dAdAzrI : haaN| pahale vAle ke vahA~ eka roTI khAtA, phira dUsare vAle ke vahA~ eka roTI khAtA, aura aMta meM do roTI khA letA thA lekina sabhI ko khuza rakhatA thaa| dosta ko bhI khuza rakhatA thA, vahA~ dUsare ko bhI khuza rakhatA thA aura bA ko bhI khuza rakhatA thaa| merI taraha aisA to koI bhI nahIM karatA hogaa| praznakartA : lekina agara bA ko khuza nahIM rakhate to cala jaataa| dAdAzrI : lekina kyA bA ko cala jAtA? aura usa phrenDa ko bhI khuza rakhanA par3atA thaa| kyoMki usake yahA~ para kabhI gesTa Ae hue hoM aura mere jaise ko na baiThAe to usake mana meM duHkha hotaa| praznakartA : ataH jJAna ke bAda se aisA saba thA yA saba pahale se? dAdAzrI : jJAna se phle| jJAna ke bAda to aisA rahegA hI nahIM na! pahale to kisI ke vahA~ khAnA khAne nahIM jAte the| usake bAda to kahIM khAnA khAne baiThe hI nahIM na! (1968 meM muMbaI meM mAsI bA ke vahA~ para

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jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) zurU huA) aura abhI agara hama khAnA khAe~ to koI nahIM DA~TegA / jJAna se pahale yaha saba bA ke samAdhAna ke lie, bujurga bA ke lie! ataH isa prakAra se kaI bAra tIna-tIna bAra khAnA par3A thA mujhe| phira bhI unake mana ke samAdhAna ke lie ghara para bhI khAnA khAtA thA / mana ko bilkula bhI vaha nahIM honA caahie| pahale maiM unheM manA karatA thA aura yadi mAna jAte to tthiik| 'merI tabiyata ThIka nahIM hai' aisA kahatA thA lekina yadi phira bhI kahate to khA letA thA / khAne kI mAtrA utanI hI praznakartA : phira bhI usase khAne kI mAtrA nahIM badalatI thI, bhojana lete the lekina usakI mAtrA saMbhAlakara / 162 dAdAzrI : mAtrA utanI hI / usase z2yAdA nahIM khAte the / cAhe kitanA bhI svAdiSTa bhojana ho phira bhI nahIM khAte the / mAtrA saMbhAlane ke lie| koI aisI cIz2a hotI jo khA sakate the, gehU~ kI hotI phira bhI eka tarapha rakha detA thA / usake bAvajUda bhI yadi tIna bAra khAne se agara ajIrNa ho jAe to zAma ko kaha dete the ki 'Aja tabiyata kharAba hai, zAma ko nahIM khAnA hai'| lekina kisI ko vaha (duHkha) nahIM hone dete the| bA ko to maiMne itanA sA bhI burA nahIM lagane diyA, jiMdagI bhara / aisI bA nahIM mileNgii| kabhI bhI dekhane ko nahIM mileMgI, aisI bA ! aura yadi unhIM ke sAtha aisA karatA to merA kyA hotA ? isIlie tIna-tIna bAra khA letA thA / khuza rakhakara kAma lenA hai phira Akhira meM bA se kahA bhI thA ki, 'maiM tIna-tIna bAra khA letA hU~, Apake lie'| bA ne pUchA, 'vaha kaise bhAI ?' phira mujhase pUchatI thiiN| phira hIrA bA unheM sikhAtI thIM na, aisA kucha pUchie ki 'kama kyoM khA rahe haiM? 'bhAI, kyoM Aja khAyA nahIM jA rahA hai ?' hIrA bA jAnatI thIM ki bAhara khAkara Ae haiM / bA mujhase pUchatI thIM, 'kyoM Aja tujhase khAyA nahIM jA rahA hai ? kyoM bhAI Aja khAyA nahIM jA rahA hai ?' maiM kahatA

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke thA, 'z2arA aisA hai na', to ve samajha jAtI thIM phira / phira kaha detA thA ki 'mujhe bAhara khAnA par3A hai aura Apake sAtha to khAnA hI pdd'egaa'| phira aura kyA ho sakatA thA ? dekho, jitanA ho sake utanA khuza rakhakara sArA kAma karanA hai| bAkI saba vyavasthita ke tAbe meM haiM / Thokara mArakara cale jAe~ to vaha nahIM calegA / tujhe kaisA lagatA hai ? praznakartA : ThIka hai dAdA | taTasthatA se nirikSaNa kiyA bA ke svabhAva kA praznakartA : jhavera bA kA dehAMta kaba huA thA ? dAdAzrI : 1956 meM / maiM ar3atAlIsa sAla kA huA taba taka ve the / 163 praznakartA : yAnI ki bA ke jAne ke bAda jJAna huA ? dAdAzrI : haaN| bA ke jAne ke do sAla bAda jJAna huA / bA to kahanA par3egA... mUrti thIM ! taba merI madara kI umra caurAsI sAla thii| roz2a aisA kahatI thIM ki 'jaba taka mujhe A~khoM se dikhAI detA hai, taba taka mujhe koI harja nahIM hai'| thor3A khA sakatI thIM, cala-phira nahIM sakatI thIM, to phira maiM unake pAsa baiThe-baiThe kyA karatA ? ataH roz2a sahajAtma svarUpa kA maMtra bulavAtA rahatA thaa| maiM bulavAtA thA to ve bolatI thiiN| mujhe jJAna nahIM huA thA usa smy| yoM to unake mana meM aisI icchI thI ki 'abhI to merI A~kheM acchI haiM to mujhe koI harja nahIM hai'| eka bAra maiMne pUchA thA, 'bA, aba jAnA hai ?' taba kahA 'nahIM, zarIra acchA hai, merI A~kheM-vA~kheM acchI haiN'| to maiM samajha gayA ki aMdara se inakI jAne kI nIyata nahIM hai / 'mujhe yaha rAsa A gayA hai' kahate haiM / caurAsI sAla ho gae the| itanI parezAniyA~ thIM phira bhI abhI yaha nahIM chUTatA ki 'rAsa A gayA hai ' / aba mujhe to mAtRprema rahegA hI na ? mAtRbhakti rahegI na? lekina kisalie? maiM taTastha rUpa se dekhatA thA ki 'ohoho ! manuSyoM ke svabhAva

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164 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) kaise-kaise hote haiM! kitane bar3e, mahAna! itane bar3e nobala mAinDa vAle the, phira bhI kahate haiM ki 'abhI to merI A~kheM acchI haiM na!' taba maiMne socA 'nIyata hai inakI jIne kii| maulika khoja dAdA kI, Aja bA ne hastAkSara kara die maiM to roz2a jA~ca karatA rahatA thA, hara bAta meM jA~ca karatA thaa| hamAre vahA~ mAmA ke beTe rAvajI bhAI Ae hue the| ve umra meM mujhase cAra-pA~ca sAla choTe the| maiM aura rAvajI bhAI, hama donoM sAtha meM bAhara so rahe the| rAta ke bAraha baja cuke the to hama to so gae the| rAta ke bAraha-eka baje hoMge aura hamArI bA ke peTa meM darda huA hogA taba ve dhIre se bolane lagI, to rAta ko eka baje maiM jAga utthaa| taba aMdara ve bola rahI thIM 'he bhagavAna aba to uThA le mujhe, aba chUTa jAe to acchA hai! aba chor3a', taba maiMne sAtha meM so rahe rAvajI bhAI ko jgaayaa| maiMne unheM hilAkara jgaayaa| maiMne kahA 'dekho, bA ne hastAkSara kara die!' maiM roz2a kahatA hU~ hastAkSara, to Aja hastAkSara kara die, sunnaa| taba bA phira se bole, 'he bhagavAna! uThA le'| do bAra bole| dUsarI bAra meM unhoMne suna liyaa| mujhase kahA, 'kyoM aisA kahA? aisA kyoM kahA? maiMne kahA, 'koI duHkha ho tabhI koI kahegA na!' kyoMki aMdara jo duHkha hotA hai vaha sahana nahIM ho pAtA taba iMsAna aisA bhAva kara letA hai ki 'are! chuTa jAe~ to acchA' to ve hastAkSara kara dete haiM, dekho na ! bA ne hastAkSara kara die| isI taraha se kudarata hastAkSara karavA letI hai| aMdara aisI mAra lagAtI hai ki hama se hastAkSara karavA letI hai| phira hastAkSara kara leMge yA nahIM? aba kucha hI dinoM ke mehamAna haiM, karo taiyArI to mRtyu se paMdraha dina pahale bA rAta ko aisA bola rahe the| taba maiMne rAvajI bhAI se kahA 'ye taiyAriyA~ ho gaI, hastAkSara karavA lie'| taba mujhase pUchA, 'kaise?' taba maiMne kahA, 'Apane hastAkSara nahIM sune ?' taba kahA, 'sunA to hai'| maiMne kahA, 'aba taiyArI karake rkho|

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 165 phira dUsare dina subaha-subaha, hameM patA thA phira bhI rAvajI bhAI ke sAmane maiMne bA se pUchA, 'bA, aba yahA~ rahanA acchA laga rahA hai yA jAne kA vicAra hai? aba ApakI jAne kI icchA hai na? aba jAne meM koI harja nahIM hai na?' taba kahA, 'nahIM bhaaii| merA zarIra to acchA hai, mujhe to kucha bhI nahIM huA hai| abhI to acchA hai| mujhe to A~khoM se bhI acchA dikhAI detA hai na! mujhe koI takalIpha nahIM hai| mujhe yahA~ para saba acchA lagatA hai'| lekina isa taraha hastAkSara to ho cuke the| vaha unheM patA nahIM thA lekina maiM samajha gayA thaa| taba usa dina subaha maiMne rAvajI bhAI se, hIrA bA se, sabhI se kahA ki 'aba kucha hI dinoM kI mehamAna haiM baa| abhI taka isa phaoNrma para hastAkSara nahIM kie the, aba hastAkSara kara die haiM, isalie aba taiyArI hai| aba pA~ca-dasa dinoM meM ve (yamarAja) lene aaeNge| inhoMne aisA kahA, isakA matalaba hastAkSara kara die| aba paMdraha dina nikaaleNgii| paMdraha dina taka dhyAna rkhnaa| aba paMdraha dinoM meM taiyArI karo, vidina phiphTIna ddej''| maiMne rAvajI bhAI se kaha diyA, 'aba taiyArI rakhanA aap| Apa abhI nahIM jaanaa| Apa taiyAra hokara A jAo, buA jI ko bhejane ke lie| aba dasa-paMdraha dinoM kA hisAba hai| usake bAda dasa-paMdraha dinoM meM ve cale ge| asahya duHkha ke samaya chUTane ke lie hastAkSara ho jAte haiN| koI bhI iMsAna binA hastAkSara kie nahIM mara sktaa| yaha kisI aura kA niyama nahIM hai| mUla mAlika ke hastAkSara hone caahie| mAlika ke hastAkSara ke binA nahIM mara skte| loga hastAkSara karane ke bAda hI marate haiM ! to loga hastAkSara kaise karate haiN| kyA loga hastAkSara kara dete haiM? to loga kahate haiM ki 'hama itane kacce nahIM hai ki hama hastAkSara kara deM!' 'are bhAI! aisA darda hogA, aisA darda hogA ki tU kahegA ki bhAI sAhaba, aba chUTa jAe~ to acchaa'| vaha khuda hI kahegA aura aisA kahate hI hastAkSara ho ge| hastAkSara ke binA nahIM ho sktaa| jaba chAtI meM

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166 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) hArTa phela hone kI taiyArI hotI hai na, taba itanA darda hotA hai ki taba kaha detA hai ki, 'chUTa jAU~ to acchA hai, chUTa jAU~ to acchA hai'| to turaMta hastAkSara aura turaMta hl| praznakartA : lekina agara koI jala jAe yA eksiDenTa ho jAe taba... dAdAzrI : hA~, vaha hastAkSara kie bagaira nahIM rhtaa| aMdara bhAva hotA hai ki 'sahana nahIM ho rahA hai aura chUTa jAU~ to, isase chUTa jAU~ to acchA hai| isa duHkha se mukta ho jAU~ to acchA hai'| duHkha se mukta hone kI icchA ko kahate haiM 'hastAkSara krnaa'| hastAkSara hone ke bAda meM hI AtI hai mRtyu isa prakAra se hastAkSara karavA letI hai (kudrt)| hastAkSara kie binA jA hI nahIM skte| vAstava meM Apake mAlika kauna haiM? ApakA UparI koI nahIM hai| kyA inkama Taiksa ke lie signecara nahIM lete? sabhI ke lie signecara lete haiN| yahA~ para paradeza meM AnA-jAnA ho to pAsaporTa meM bhI hastAkSara kI z2arUrata par3atI hai| janma hote samaya hastAkSara nahIM kie jAe~ to janma hI nahIM ho sktaa| yaha kyA kisI ke bApa kA hai ki koI hameM le jA sake vahA~ para? niyamarAja to niyama hai, vaha cIz2a apane hastAkSara se to halkI hI hai| hamAre hastAkSara hoMge tabhI niyamarAja aaeNge| yaha yamarAja nahIM hai, niyamarAja hai| yamarAja nahIM hai| apane hastAkSara ke binA kaise jA sakate haiM? Apako samajha meM AI yaha bAta! yaha sArA to maiM apane anubhava ke sAra para se lAyA huuN| merA to kAma hI yahI thaa| jaba madara aMtima sthiti meM thIM... hamArI bA thIM na, caurAsI sAla kI umra meM unakI Detha ho gii| yoM to usa samaya bA kI tabiyata bahuta acchI thii| hamArI bA kA jaba aMtima samaya thA taba ve bistara para hI thiiN| taba mRtyu ke do ghaMTe pahale

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[5.2] pUrva janma ke saMskAra hue jAgRta, mAtA ke 167 pUchA ki 'kauna-kauna baiThe haiM? to unhoMne A~kheM kholI aura sabhI tarapha dekhA ki kauna-kauna hai ! hamArI mAmI thIM aura unakA beTA thaa| maiMne kahA ki 'ye jayarAma bhAI' to kahA 'hA~, hA~ baittho'| aura do ghaMTe bAda to aMdara se calane kI taiyArI kara lii| usake bAda phira unakI sA~sa z2ora-z2ora se calane lagI, taba maiM jAna gayA ki taiyArI kara lI hai| aba ye jA rahI haiN| taba maiMne saba se kahA 'Aja taiyArI hai'| phira maiMne kahA, 'Apa apanI vidhi karanA, navakAra maMtra bolanA aura maiM merI vidhi kara rahA huuN'| hIrA bA ko unake sAmane baiThAyA aura (maiM) sabhI vidhiyA~ karane lgaa| maiMne Der3ha-do ghaMTe taka vidhiyA~ kiiN| aura bA vidhiyA~ khatma hone para giiN| madara kA prema aura ajJAna thA isIlie ronA AyA praznakartA : dAdA Apa para kisI ke mRtyu kA aisA kucha asara huA thA? dAdAzrI : 1956 meM huA thaa| jJAna hone se pahale hamArI madara kI Detha ho gaI thii| usa dina ronA AyA thaa| praznakartA : to vaha jo Apa para asara ho gayA, ronA A gayA, usa samaya Apa kahA~ the? dAdAzrI : kahA~? praznakartA : Apa jo dRSTA bhAva meM... dAdAzrI : nahIM! usa samaya dRSTA bhAva nahIM thaa| usa samaya to 'maiM aMbAlAla hI hU~', vahI thaa| usake do sAla bAda yaha jJAna huaa| praznakartA : lekina dAdA, jaba kAMti bhAI gae taba Apa para z2arA sA bhI iphekTa nahIM dikhAI diyaa| dAdAzrI : nahIM, usa dina ronA nahIM AyA thaa| usa dina to maiM dUsare gA~va gayA thaa| yahA~ hotA na... mujhe ronA kisa para AtA hai ? marane

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168 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) vAle para nahIM AtA lekina logoM ko kamaz2ora dekhatA hU~ na, isalie mujhe ronA A jAtA hai| agara koI vahA~ para subaka-subakakara ro par3e to phira mujha para asara ho jAtA hai| abhI bhI asara ho jAtA hai| yahA~ para agara koI rone lage na, to asara ho jAtA hai lekina usase dUsare logoM para z2yAdA asara par3egA, aisA mAnakara usa para bhI kaMTrola kara lete haiM hm| dUsaroM para jyAdA asara ho jAegA na! bAkI, zarIra to aisA hI hai, deha to aisI hI hai| praznakartA : aisA nahIM hai, daadaa| ve donoM sthitiyA~, jaba madara kI Detha ho gaI, taba aura abhI, una donoM meM kyA pharka hai? dAdAzrI : una dinoM to sirpha madara kA prema thA, prema hI rulAtA hai|

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[6] phAdara rAjasI iMsAna aura sarala jIvana praznakartA : pitA jI ke saMskAra kaise the? pitA jI kyA karate the? dAdAzrI : ve to rAjasI iMsAna the? vahA~ hamArI z2amIna thii| vahA~ para ghor3A rakhate the na! jaba ve sAphA pahanate the na, taba rAjakumAra jaise dikhAI dete the| phAdara ne lAipha Iz2I rakhI thii| koI biz2anesa nahIM karate the kyoMki ghara kI kamAI se sAdhAraNa rUpa se kAma calatA rahatA thaa| praznakartA : khetI-bAr3I thI? dAdAzrI : khetI-bAr3I kI kamAI se calatA rahatA thaa| vaha bhI jyAdA nahIM, sirpha itanA hI ki parivAra kA gujArA ho ske| praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : sarala tarIke se| pitA jI ko lagA ki yaha lar3akA alaga hI hai praznakartA : phAdara ke sAtha kI kucha bAteM batAie na! dAdAzrI : mere phAdara ne mujhase kahA ki 'kucha kasarata karanI cAhie, subaha ghUmane jAnA caahie'| maiMne kahA, 'ghUmane kA TAima nahIM miltaa'| taba unhoMne kahA ki 'TAima nikAlanA cAhie, zarIra acchA rhegaa'| taba maiMne kahA, 'jaauuNgaa'| taba unhoMne pUchA ki, 'kisa tarapha jAegA?' taba maiMne kahA, 'yahA~ gA~va kI sImA kI or'| taba unhoMne

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jJAnI puruSa (bhAga - 1) kahA, 'nahIM, naz2adIka hI apanA jo kheta haiM, vahA~ jAnA' / maiMne kahA, 'kheta para jAkara kyA karanA hai ?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'vahA~ para Ama ke per3a lagAe hue haiM, hamane daseka Ama ke per3a lagAe haiM, to rAste meM se bAhara se eka thailI meM thor3A dar3a ( upajAU miTTI) le jAnA / aura thor3Athor3A dar3a DAlakara AnA' / apane yahA~ dar3a hotA hai na... praznakartA: miTTI (dar3a), haaN| 170 dAdAzrI : roDa para se miTTI le jAkara unameM DAlanA, jaba bhI samaya ho tb| dar3a DAlakara Aoge to phira ApakA ghUmanA ho jAegA aura kasarata bhI ho jaaegii| phAdara se manA nahIM kara sakate the isalie thor3A-bahuta karate the| phAdara ko manA nahIM kiyA lekina maiMne kahA, 'mujhe Ama ke per3a kA lAlaca nahIM hai, Ama khAne kA koI lAlaca nahIM hai / yaha kAma merA nahIM hai / jinheM Ama khAne hoM ve ddaaleN'| to kucha samaya bAda jaba vaha kheta becA taba maiMne unase kahA ki, 'dekho agara Ama hote to per3a ke sAtha hI bika jAte na ! yaha dhUla - vUla DAlanA saba bekAra hI jAtA na!' Ama kisane khAe ? are ! chor3o na yaha bAta ! kahA~ kisAnoM ke niyama aura yaha saba kahA~ calA gayA ! maiM jAnatA hU~ isa duniyA kA rivAz2a, jisake hAtha meM kheta hai usI ke Ama / bAda meM kheta para se Ama ghara para lA sakate haiM yA nahIM ? praznakartA : becane ke bAda to nahIM lA skte| dAdAzrI : to phira hamArA dhUla DAlanA bekAra jAegA na ? dar3a DAlanA bekAra jAegA na ? phira bhI hamane kyoM DAlA thA ? I praznakartA : yaha to dRSTi para AdhArita hai / dRSTi badala jAe to vaha dar3a ThIka hai, dUsare ke pAsa calA gyaa| dAdAzrI : nahIM, lekina yaha saba pha~sAva hai ! isalie mere pitA jI ne kahA ki 'ise aMdara se patA hogA ki aisA hone vAlA hai!' maiMne kahA, 'Apako jo mAnanA hai vaha mAnie' / taba unhoMne kahA, 'terI janmapatrI bahuta acchI hai !'

Page #236
[6] phAdara 171 mujhe to bhagavAna hI cAhie the aisA saba tUphAna thA ! kahA~ isa taraha dar3a DAleM aura kahA~ sAre Ama ke per3a ugAe~', to ve kaba khAe~ge aura kauna khAegA, usakA kyA ThikAnA ? ye taiyAra Ama khAo na cupacApa ! hA~, jise bAga ugAne hoM, bAga kA mAlika bananA ho, vaha bhale hI ugAe / hameM isakA mAlika nahIM bananA haiN| hameM isakA garvarasa nahIM caahie| garvarasa vAle bahuta haiM, ve apanI taraha se bAga banAe~ge, per3a ugAe~ge aura unameM Ama Ae~ge ! aise bahuta loga haiM! yahA~ kyA kamI hai ? sabhI taraha ke loga haiM ! mujhe aisA saba nahIM cAhie thA, mujhe to bhagavAna hI cAhie the| ina Ama-vAma kI mujhe nahIM par3I thI / phira bhI yaha mamatA chor3anI nahIM hai| mamatA rakhanI hai, lekina kaisI ? mAlikI rahita mamatA / onarazipa nahIM, TAiTala nhiiN| merI janmapatrI bahuta acchI thI, isalie sabhI Adara karate the praznakartA : Apane pahale batAyA usake anusAra kyA ApakI janmapatrI ke yoga bahuta bar3e batAe gae the ? dAdAzrI : hA~, yaha pada milanA thA, vaha to jyotiSI ne kahA thA phAdara - madara se ki alaga hI taraha ke putra ne Apake yahA~ janma liyA hai ! praznakartA : janmapatrI kisane banAI thI ? dAdAzrI : unhoMne hI banAI thI / aisA gola-gola pIlA sA banAyA huA hai / yahA~ se paccIsa phuTa laMbA, to use par3ha rahe the / usake bAda se phAdara merI iz2z2ata karane lage the / phAdara bar3e bhAI ko bhI DA~Tane nahIM dete the bar3e bhAI jaba mujhe DA~Tate the, hAlAMki ve mujhase bIsa sAla bar3e

Page #237
172 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) the, isalie DA~Tate the| maiM bAraha sAla kA thA aura ve battIsa sAla ke| to phira bradara to bar3e hI kahalAe~ge na, z2yAdA umra vaale| ve to phira DA~TeMge hI na, bAkI phAdara ne kabhI nahIM ddaaNttaa| phAdara ne to bradara se aisA kahA thA ki 'ise mata ddaaNttnaa| isakI janmapatrI alaga hI taraha kI hai!' lekina bradara to DA~Tate the| to phira jaba mere bar3e bhAI DA~Tate the na, to mere bApU jI kahate the, 'maNi bhAI, isase kucha mata kahanA, eka akSara bhI nahIM kahanA hai ise! janmapatrI to dekho, isakI janmapatrI dekhI hai kyA? yaha iMsAna aisA nahIM ki isase kucha kahA jAe, isase lar3anA mt'| praznakartA : aisA kahate the? dAdAzrI : hN| phira bhI bar3e bhAI to lar3e bagaira rahate hI nahIM the na! bar3e bhAI the na, to usake pIche prema thA, saccA prem| aura sacce prema kI khAtira agara ve mujhe DA~TanA to kyA, lekina agara mArate taba bhI maiM nahIM ldd'taa| ataH maiMne to bA kA prema dekhA, pitA kA prema dekhA, bar3e bhAI kA prema dekhA, sabhI kA prema dekhaa| jijJAsA vaza phAdara se prazna pUchatA rahatA thA praznakartA : dAdA, Apa zurU se hI phAdara se bahuta prazna pUchate the? dAdAzrI : haaN| hAlAMki mere phAdara mujhase cir3hate nahIM the lekina unake mana meM aisA hotA thA ki 'yaha bahuta pUchatA rahatA hai| kyoMki yaha isake sAtha kyoM hai? ise aisA kyoM kahA jAtA hai ? ise aisA kyoM kahate haiM?' ye sArA pUcha-pUchakara unakA dama nikAla detA thaa| praznakartA : kisa umra meM pUchate the dAdA? bacapana se hI? dAdAzrI : sAta sAla kA thA tabhI se| yaha kyA aura yaha kyA? sirpha pUchanA, pUchanA, aura pUchanA... jahA~ para koI bhI bAta kI, usake bAre meM pUchate rahane kI Adata! aura phAdara se una logoM ne kahA thaa|

Page #238
[6] phAdara 173 phAdara ko lAlaca diyA thA janmapatrI likhane vAle ne ki Apake putra to g2az2aba ke puruSa baneMge! aura usameM phira mahArAja ne aisA bhI kahA ki 'pUchatA nara pNdditaa'| isa taraha se saba mela khAne lgaa| lekina paMDita bhI nahIM bane na! aura jJAnI bana gae! pahacAnakara duniyA ke svabhAva ko, vyavahAra kiyA phAdara ke saMga praznakartA : phAdara ke sAtha kI huI aura koI vizeSa ghaTanA ho to batAie na? dAdAzrI : maiM bacapana meM eka bAra parosa rahA thA, bAraha-teraha sAla kA thA, to hamAre cAcA jI aura hamAre phAdara baiThe the, saba khAnA khAne baiThe the| to saba se kama sabjI mere phAdara ko parosI aura unase thor3I z2yAdA cAcA jI ko prosii| bAkI saba ko z2yAdA-jyAdA diyaa| tabhI se loga samajha gae the ki 'yaha lar3akA bahuta tez2a hai| kitanA vinaya vAlA hai ! phAdara ko itanA sA hI prosaa'| jabaki phAdara aMdara cir3ha rahe the ki 'sabjI bhI nahIM parosa rahA hai| "duniyA ko mAlUma hai merA aura ApakA sNbNdh| isalie jyAdA nahIM parosa skte| agara z2arA sA bhI z2yAdA de diyA to loga udhara dekhate ki 'dekho, apane bApa ko kitanA parosA!" phAdara ko chalA, usake bAda meM khUba pratikramaNa kie praznakartA : phAdara ke prati koI bhUla huI thI? dAdAzrI : hA~, hamAre phAdara se eka jyotiSI ne kahA thA ki 'Apake ghara meM eka bahuta bar3e ratna ne janma liyA hai| dekhate rahanA ki isake saMskAroM meM z2arA sI bhI kamI nahIM pdd'e'| aba phAdara to kitanA dhyAna rakha sakate the? maiM unheM chalatA to ve kitanA dekha pAte? maiM sinemAnATaka dekhane jAtA thA, bhAdaraNa meN| jaba maiM nATaka dekhane jAtA thA taba phAdara ko aisA rahatA thA ki yaha so gayA hai| kyoMki pahale so jAtA thA phira uThakara khir3akI se kUdakara nikala jAtA thaa| sirpha bA ko hI yaha patA rahatA thaa| bA mujhase kahatI thIM ki, 'bhAI, tU gira jaaegaa| aisA

Page #239
174 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) mata krnaa'| maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, ve mujhe ddaaNtteNge| maiM to aisA hI kruuNgaa'| aisI bahuta sI zarArateM kI haiN| phAdara ko chalA, bA ko nahIM chlaa| maiM jo kucha bhI karatA thA, vaha sirpha bA ko batA detA thaa| mujhe aisA Dara rahatA thA ki phAdara DA~TeMge isalie unase kaha detA thA ki 'maiM nahIM gyaa| rAta ko so gayA thaa| hAlAMki maiM nATaka dekhakara AyA hotA thaa| phira jaba loga unheM kahate the ki 'ApakA beTA to nATaka dekhane AtA hai'| taba phira ve kahate the ki 'tU kaba gayA thA? tU kaba uThA thA?' maiMne kahA, 'maiM to kucha dera bAda vApasa A gayA thaa| ina saba ke lie bahuta pratikramaNa kie| ghara meM maiMne kyA-kyA kiyA, yahA~ kyA-kyA kiyA? phAdara ke sAtha meM kyA-kyA dagA kiyA? ve kahate the ki 'nATaka AyA hai, tujhe dekhane jAne kI z2arUrata nahIM hai'| taba kahatA thA, 'hA~, nahIM jaauuNgaa'| aura nATaka dekhakara Akara cupake se, bA ko pahale se hI batA detA thA ki daravAz2A z2arA khulA rakhanA to ve daravAz2A khulA rakhatI thIM aura maiM ekadama se aMdara ghusa jAtA thaa| ye sAre gunAha hI kie haiM na! hamArI upasthiti meM phAdara kA dehAMta praznakartA : mUlajI bhAI kisa umra meM gae ? dAdAzrI : pacAsa-ikyAvana sAla kii| praznakartA : aisA? bahuta kama umra meM cale gae! dAdAzrI : kama umra meM lekina una dinoM to ikyAvana sAla taka jInA bhI bahuta kahA jAtA thaa| __ praznakartA : usake lie to bahuta khuzI manAte the loga, vana manAyA, aisA karake manAte the| dAdAzrI : ikyAvana-vana meM AyA, kahate the|

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[6] phAdara 175 praznakartA : (vikrama saMvata) 1983 meM mUlajI bhAI guz2ara gae the, 1983 yAnI ki Aja se sATha sAla pahale (saMvata 2043, I.sa. 1987) / dAdAzrI : hA~, 1983 kI bAr3ha ke smy| praznakartA : 1983 meM bAr3ha AI thI, usa bAta ke sATha sAla ho gae, to jaba Apake pitA jI gae taba ApakI umra kitanI thI? dAdAzrI : maiM jaba bIsa sAla kA thA taba phAdara guz2ara gae the| kyA hu A ki hamAre phAdara kI tabiyata acchI nahIM thI, taba maiM yahA~ kaoNnTraikTa ke kAma para jAtA thaa| isalie hamAre bar3e bhAI maNi bhAI ne mujhase kahA ki 'tU kAma para raha aura maiM phAdara kI tabiyata pUchakara AtA huuN| maiM z2arA mila AtA huuN'| maiMne kahA, 'to ThIka hai, Apa jAkara aaie| maiM bAda meM aauuNgaa'| merI icchA bahuta thI, agara kahIM zarIra chor3a diyA to? phira usa dina mere bradara bhAdaraNa ge| una dinoM borasada aura bhAdaraNa ke bIca meM gAr3iyA~ nahIM calatI thIM, to ghor3A gAr3I mila gaI varnA kaI bAra yoM hI calakara jAnA par3atA thA! unake jAne ke kucha dera bAda mujhe kudaratI rUpa se yoM hI vicAra AyA ki 'calo na bhAI, maiM bhI jAU~, maiM bhI tabiyata pUchakara AtA huuN| ye kAma dUsaroM ko sauMpa detA hU~ aura phira maiM bhI jAtA huuN'| isalie phira maiM bhI bApU jI se milane gyaa| maiMne vaha kAma kisI aura ko sauMpa diyA, aura maiM to cala par3A ghor3A gAr3I meM baitthkr| phira dekhA, maNi bhAI to vApasa lauTa rahe the, unheM milane gae the vahA~ se, aura maiM jA rahA thaa| taba hama Amane-sAmane mile| unhoMne mujhase pUchA 'tU A gayA?' maiMne kahA, 'hA~, mujhe aMdara se aisA vicAra AyA ki jAU~, to maiM sabhI ko kAma sauMpakara AyA huuN'| taba unhoMne mujhase kahA, 'aba tU vahA~ ghara jA aura maiM vApasa kAma para jAtA huuN| tU rahanA abhI do-cAra din| bApU jI kI tabiyata narama hai| maiM vahA~ saba kara luuNgaa'| to bradara vApasa gae vahA~ para aura maiM 'phAdara' ke pAsa A gayA to unhoMne usI rAta jAne kI taiyArI kara lI, taba taka ve jA nahIM rahe the| maiM A gayA to taiyArI kara lI, varnA taba taka taiyArI nahIM kara rahe the| taba bA una

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176 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) ne kahA, 'acchA huA tU A gyaa| Aja to hAlata jyAdA kharAba hai| phira kucha dera bAda ve guz2ara ge| rAta ko hI unhoMne saphara taya kara liyaa| to mere Ate hI phAdara cala base! ataH jisake kaMdhoM para jAnA ho usI ke kaMdhoM para car3hate haiN| maiM cAra ghaMTe pahale AyA thA bar3audA se, jabaki bar3e bhAI eka dina pahale hI Akara gae the| lekina jisake kaMdhe para arthI jAnI hotI hai, jitanA hisAba hotA hai, vahI cukatA hotA hai| unheM mere kaMdhe para car3hakara jAnA thA, to usa prakAra se ge| hamAre RNAnubaMdha khatma kie| phira loga kahate haiM ki 'bhAI, isake kaMdhe para car3hakara jAnA likhA thaa'| to inake kaMdhe para car3hakara gae, maNi bhAI ke kaMdhe para nhiiN'| logoM ne aisA saba DhU~Dha nikaalaa| sabhI ke phAdara abhI taka haiM, mere kyoM nahIM? maiM bIsa sAla kA thA taba phAdara kA dehAMta ho gyaa| taba mujhe samajha meM AyA ki maiMne kyA dagA kiyA thA, jisakI vajaha se phAdara kA dehAMta ho gyaa| isakA mujhe turaMta patA cala gayA, aura madara ArAma se aura bhI pacAsa sAla taka rhiiN| ataH yaha saba isa dagAbAz2I kI vajaha se haiN| to aba ye sArI dagAbAz2I chor3a dene kI z2arUrata hai| jahA~ kahIM bhI aisA kucha huA ho na, to vahA~ kudarata meM vaha noTa ho jAtA hai| taba mujhe turaMta patA cala gayA ki isase kyA hotA hai ? logoM ke to, pacAsa-pacAsa sAla ke hone para bhI phAdara jiMdA hote haiM aura merA kyA hai ? lekina yaha gunAha kie the| praznakartA : phAdara kA dehAMta ho gayA to usameM kyA gunAha hai? dAdAzrI : vaha dagAbAz2I hI kI thI na! ataH pitR bhAvanA ke prati dagAbAz2I kI thI na! usa dagAbAz2I kA pariNAma milaa| mAtRbhAva meM aisA nahIM kiyA thA, to mAtRbhAva rhaa| calo aba, yaha naI bAta niklii| mere phAdara kI bAta niklii| maiMne bhI hisAba nikAlA thaa| maiMne kahA, 'bIsa sAla kI umra meM ina saba

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[6] phAdara 177 ke phAdara haiM lekina mere kyoM nahIM haiM?' kyA mere bhI phAdara nahIM hone cAhie abhI taka? vyavahAra to acchA honA cAhie na, pUrA hii| mA~-bApa kI sevA vaha pratyakSa-nakada praznakartA : Apake paha~cate hI cAra ghaMTe ke aMdara-aMdara phAdara cale gae, to unhoMne Apase sevA nahIM lI? dAdAzrI : nahIM, phira maiMne bA kI sevA kI thii| bApU jI ke samaya merI umra bIsa sAla thI, yAnI ki bharapUra javAnI kI umra thii| hama bApU jI ko kaMdhA dekara le gae the, utanI hI sevA huii| phira hisAba milA ki 'are, aise to kitane hI bApU jI ho cuke! aba kyA kareMge?' taba maiMne kahA, 'jo haiM unakI sevA kr| jo cale gae, ve goNn| lekina abhI jo haiM, tU unakI sevA kr| na hoM, to ciMtA mata krnaa| aise to bahuta ho cuke haiN| jahA~ se bhUla gae vahA~ se ginanA zurU kro| mA~-bApa kI sevA, vaha pratyakSa, nakada hai| bhagavAna dikhAI nahIM dete, jabaki ye to dikhAI dete haiN| bhagavAna kahA~ dikhAI dete haiM jabaki mA~-bApa to dikhAI dete haiN| jIvana bhara jo kiyA aMta meM vahI milatA hai praznakartA : mRtyu ke samaya phAdara kI sthiti kaisI thI? dAdAzrI : jaba mere phAdara kI mRtyu hone lagI na, taba phAdara ke pAsa hamArI eka buA thIM, riibaa| phAdara kI aMtima rAta ko unhoMne mujhase kahA ki 'tU jA bhii'| maiMne kahA, 'Apako yahA~ kyA kAma hai?' to kahA, 'mujhe bhagavAna kA nAma lene de| to Akara, usa samaya ve z2ora-z2ora se phAdara ke kAna meM kahane lagIM, 'bolo rA..ma...' kyA kahA? praznakartA : bolo, raam| dAdAzrI : to kAna meM bole na, to itanI z2ora se AvAz2a huI ki aMdara jIva yoM hI DarA huA hotA hai, to isase aura z2yAdA Dara jAtA hai| taba maiMne kahA ki, 'aba rahane do n| aMdara gUMja rahA hai, mata bolo| balki

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178 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) yahA~ se ApakA mu~ha haTA do'| bekAra hI, yahA~ aMdara lAuDa spIkara jaisA lagatA hai| aisA lagatA hai ki bar3A lAuDa spIkara bola rahA hai| usase aMdara jIva ghabarA jAtA hai becaaraa| taba maiMne unase kahA, 'bola diyA, basa! aba mAthAphor3I mata krnaa| jaba ve bola sakate the, taba bhI nahIM bole to aba kyA boleMge?' to 'rAma bolo' kahate haiN| yadi pahale kiyA hotA to abhI unheM aisA saba nahIM milatA? jo sAmAna ho, vahI milatA hai na! __aba yaha saba kisa kAma kA? aba jAte samaya, gAr3I meM se utarate samaya hama kaheM ki 'kaise ho? maz2e meM ho, tabiyata acchI hai?' to vaha poTalI uThAkara hameM hI mAregA! are bhAI! utarane to de ArAma se| aba kyA unakI khabara pUcha rahe ho? yaha to maiM apane phAdara kI hakIkata batA rahA huuN| maiM to bIsa sAla kA thA aura samajha gyaa| maiMne kahA, 'ye aMdara ghabarA rahe haiM, aura bekAra hI AvAz2a kara rahe haiN| ye kisa taraha ke loga haiM? aMdara ghabarAhaTa kyoM karavA rahe haiM? are, jIne do na acchI taraha se! aMdara dhamAdhama ho rahA hai becAroM ko!' aba usa samaya 'rAma, rAma' karane se kyA badala jAtA? binA bAta ke usa samaya 'jaya jinendra' bolo, 'jaya jinendr'| are bhAI, isa samaya kyoM bulavA rahe ho? jaba ThIka the, usa samaya baiThane nahIM diyA ThikAne! taba to kahate the, 'cInI le Ao, yaha le aao'| aMtima samaya meM AtA hai pUre jIvana kA sAra praznakartA : dAdA, aMtima ghaMTe meM ye tibbata ke lAmA kucha kriyAe~ karavAte haiN| lAmA aisA kahate haiM, jaba iMsAna mRtyu zaiyA para hotA hai taba ve loga usakI AtmA se kahate haiM ki 'tU isa taraha se jA,' yA phira apane meM jo gItA kA pATha karavAte haiM ki koI acche zabda unheM kaheM... usase aMtima ghaMToM meM usa para koI asara hotA hai kyA? dAdAzrI : kucha bhI nahIM hotaa| Apa bAraha mahIne kA akAunTa

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[6] phAdara likhate ho, to dhana terasa se Apa usameM naphA likhate raho aura pUre sAla kA nukasAna usameM se nikAla do to calegA ? praznakartA : nahIM clegaa| dAdAzrI : aisA kyoM ? praznakartA : vaha to pUre sAla kA hI AegA na ! dAdAzrI : taba isameM bhI pUrI jiMdagI kA AtA hai ! loga to unake sAtha chala karate haiM! logoM ko mUrkha banAte haiM / 179 praznakartA : lekina dAdA jaba iMsAna kI aMtima avasthA hotI hai, jAgRta avasthA hotI hai, aba usa samaya koI unheM gItA kA pATha sunAe, yA phira aura kisI zAstra kA sunAe, agara vaha usake kAna meM par3e... dAdAzrI : yadi vaha iMsAna khuda kahe aura usakI icchA ho tb| vaha rAma kaha rahA ho to rAma ! lekina abhI isa samaya vaha kisameM hai, vaha Apako kaise patA calegA ? usa samaya to vaha na jAne kahA~ ho 'ki mere choTe beTe kA ThikAnA nahIM par3a rahA hai !' marate samaya to pUrI z2iMdagI kAsAra AtA hai| ekadama nAma lene kA kaheMge to usase kyA hogA ? taba loga unheM isa taraha kI bAteM kahate rahate haiN| agara ve kaheM ki 'merI helpa karo' to ThIka hai| merI aisI icchA hai / to taba usa samajha ko TikAnA cAhie lekina agara unheM bhAna hI na ho aura phira kAna meM 'rAma rAma' kareM to vahA~ rAma kaise raheMge? Apa kauna se rAma kI bAta kara rahe ho ? rAma to bahuta sAre logoM ke baccoM kA nAma hai / kyA Apa dazaratha ke beTe kI bAta kara rahe ho? aisA saba nahIM calegA /

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[7] bar3e bhAI rAjavaMzI puruSa jaise lagate the bar3e bhAI praznakartA : dAdA, Apake bhAI kaise the? dAdAzrI : hamAre bar3e bhAI ko yadi dekhA hotA na, to ve rAjapuruSa lagate the! aise loga maiMne nahIM dekhe, gAyakavAr3a sarakAra (rAjA) jaise dikhAI dete the| yoM bahuta hI darzanIya vyakti the| dekhakara lagatA thA ki rAjavaMzI puruSa haiN| praznakartA : bradara Apase kitane bar3e the, dAdA? dAdAzrI : bIsa sAla bar3e the, phAdara jaise| cehare para parsanAliTI aura yoM darzanIya pATIdAra the! raMga to mere jaisA hI thaa| geha~A raMga thA lekina the darzanIya the| A~kheM-vA~kheM aisI. kapAla bar3A thaa| ___ to maiMne eka dina bA se kahA ki 'maNi bhAI kA kapAla kitanA acchA hai aura merA kapAla aisA kyoM hai? ina maNi bhAI kA kapAla to bahuta acchA hai aura mere kapAla meM yahA~ para bAla ugate rahate haiM, isalie merA kapAla bar3A nahIM ho paataa'| taba bA ne kahA, 'unakA kapAla phakIra ke takiye jaisA (bar3A kapAla-kapAla meM bAla kama hoM aisA) hai, jabaki terA kapAla saba se acchA hai'| kauna sA kapAla acchA hai, usakA kAraNa mujhe samajha meM nahIM AtA thaa| isalie loga jaba bar3A kapAla, bar3A kapAla kahate the to pahale aisI koI kahAvata thI ki ghor3e ke kada jitanA kapAla... isalie bacapana meM davAiyA~ bhI lagAI thIM lekina kucha huA nhiiN|

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[7] bar3e bhAI 181 lekina bA ne kahA ki 'bhAI, kapAla to terA acchA hai'| aisA kahA taba se samajha gyaa| phira mujhe samajhAyA ki kapAla kitanA honA cAhie? taba kahA, 'dekha bhAI, yaha bhAga, yaha bhAga, aura yaha bhAga, (kapAla, kapAla se nAka aura nAka se ThuDDI) ye tInoM eka sarIkhe dikhAI deM to vaha kapAla acchA kahA jAtA hai| isa taraha mujhe samajhAyA, mere mana kA samAdhAna kara diyA unhoNne| dekhane jaisA vaibhava thA bar3e bhAI kA maNi bhAI to usa z2amAne meM pharsTa klAsa kapar3e pahanate the| ohoho! kaise-kaise koTa vagairaha saba! hA~, to hamAre bhAI ko saba cIjeM kaisI cAhie thIM? ve to (aise rahate the) jaise kisAna ke beTe hoM! unakI garmI kI Dresa alaga, barasAta kI Dresa alaga vaoNTara prUpha vAlI aura sardI kI Dresa alg| to aisA thA ki garmI meM ve heTa pahanate the, sardI meM sAphA pahanate the aura bAriza meM renakoTa pahanate the| bAriza meM aisI Dresa pahanate the tAki pAnI aMdara na ghusa jaae| ataH tInoM sIz2ana kI alaga-alaga Dresa thii| kapaDavaMja ke pAsa hamArI do sau bIghA jamIna thii| vahA~ para ghor3IvoDI saba rakhate the| bar3e bhAI usa ghor3I para baiThate the to ghor3I z2ora se hinahinAtI thI, aura ve sAphA pahanakara rAjaku~vara kI taraha ghUmate the| bar3e bhAI prinsa jaise the| praznakartA : Apa bhI bA~dhate the sAphA? dAdAzrI : rAma terI mAyA! merI yaha jo TopI hai, vaisI hii| usase jyAdA nhiiN| praznakartA : Apane vaisA nahIM kiyA dAdA? dAdAzrI : mujhe aisA kucha bhI nahIM thaa| maiM to sIdhA thA, bhAI rAjasI iMsAna the| janma se hI rAjasI vyakti the aura unhoMne jaisA sukha dekhA thA, maiMne to vaisA koI sukha dekhA hI nhiiN|

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182 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA : Apa usa ghor3I para nahIM baiThe the? dAdAzrI : ghor3I para to baiThA thA na! bAkI, unakA vaibhava dekhA thA, unhoMne vaibhava bhogA thA basa itanA hii| parsanAliTI aura tejasvI A~khoM kI vajaha se kA~pate the sabhI mere bar3e bhAI to bahuta prabhAvazAlI the| unakI hAI parsanAliTI thI, 'mena oNpha prsnaalittii'| jhavera bA kI kokha se siMha jaisA puruSa janmA thA! ve dikhate bhI siMha jaise the! puNya bhI thA na, z2abaradasta pATIdAra janme the| yadi sau-do sau loga baiThe hote to hairata meM par3a jAte the, Dara jAte the unheM dekhkr| aisI z2abaradasta prsnaalittii| loga unakI A~kheM dekhakara Dara jAte the, bar3e-bar3e oNphisara bhii| maiM bhI DaratA thA aura mere phAdara bhI Darate the| unakA itanA prabhAva thA ki bAhara pA~ca-pacAsa loga khar3e hote aura ve bAhara nikalate na, to saba idhara-udhara ho jAte the, yoM hii| sUbedArasarasUbedAra (kalekTara) bhI unheM dekhakara kA~pa jAte the| phaujadAra (pulisa oNphIsara), vagairaha idhara-udhara ho jAte the, unakI A~kheM aura ceharA dekhkr| unakA ceharA hI aisA thaa| unake cehare kI camaka dekhakara loga cauMka jaate| __ hamAre bhAdaraNa kA hara eka pATIdAra unheM dekhate hI yoM kA~pa jAtA thaa| ve jaba calate the to unakI naz2ara par3ate hI, sirpha unakI dRSTi se hI sau loga idhara-udhara khisaka jAte the aisI thI unakI laaitt| unakI A~kheM to bahuta pratApI thIM, siMha jaisI tejsvii| unakI A~kheM dekhate hI yahA~ khaMbhAta meM koI paisanjara khar3A nahIM rahatA thaa| A~kheM itanI z2abaradasta, aise sakhta iMsAna the| unakI A~khoM meM itanA adhika teja thA, maiM bhI ghabarAtA thA na, jaise siyAra ghabarAtA hai na, usa taraha se aiseaise hotA thA! unake sAtha z2yAdA nahIM bola sakate the, bAtacIta nahIM kara sakate the|

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[7] bar3e bhAI 183 pUrva janma ke yogI the, isalie unakA z2abaradasta 'o' par3atA thA praznakartA : Apako maNi bhAI se bahuta Dara lagatA thA, dAdA? dAdAzrI : bahuta ! yadi aMdara siMha baiThA ho to jA sakatA thA lekina agara ye baiThe hue hoM to nahIM jA sakatA thaa| mujhe to unheM dekhate hI pasInA A jAtA thaa| unheM dekhate hI ghabarAhaTa ho jAtI thii| unakA dimAg2a bahuta hI sakhta aura prabhAvazAlI, to mujhe bhI aisA-aisA hotA thA, ghabarA jAtA thaa| unheM dekhate hI Dara lagatA thaa| praznakartA : kaisA Dara lagatA thA, dAdA? dAdAzrI : unakI A~kheM hI aisI thIM ki mujhe bahuta Dara lagatA thaa| mujhe bahuta Dara lagatA thA unake sAtha rahane meM bhii| ve A~kheM alaga hI taraha kI thIM! loga usI se ghabarA jAte the na! aura yoM unakA ceharA dekheM to bahuta hI bhavya, lekina ceharA dekhate hI ghabarAhaTa ho jAtI thI! praznakartA : lekina bar3e bhAI kA Dara kyoM? dAdAzrI : bahuta Dara! bar3e bhAI se mujhe bahuta Dara lagatA thaa| aisA nahIM thA ki maiM choTA thA isalie DaratA thA, lekina jaba mere bar3e bhAI bAhara nikalate the, taba yahA~ jogI dAsa kA pUrA muhallA ghabarA jAtA thaa| jaba sarakArI oNphisa meM jAte the, taba vahA~ kA pUrA oNphisa ghabarA jAtA thA kyoMki unakI parsanAliTI hI aisI thii| bAhara nikalate the to logoM ko aisA dikhAI detA thA jaise siMha bAhara niklaa| A~kheM hI aisI dikhatI thIM kyoMki aMdara unakA zIla bhI thA, eka prakAra kaa| lekina yadi unakA vaha zIla pUrNa hotA to ve alaga hI taraha ke iMsAna hote! praznakartA : lekina kala Apa jo bAta kara rahe the, unheM vaisA zIlavAna kaha sakate haiM na? Apane jo kahA thA ki yadi zIlavAna Ae~ to sA~pa bhI eka-dUsare para car3ha jAte haiN| dAdAzrI : nhiiN| para ve aise zIlavAna nahIM the| ve to yahA~ (bar3audA) Akara phira sArA zIla lIkeja ho gayA, lekina phira bhI kucha baca gyaa|

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184 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) prabhAva hI aisA thaa| jaisA acche-acche ThAkuroM kA bhI na ho, vaisA prabhAva thA unakA aura vANI bhI vaisI thii| itanA adhika prabhAva par3atA thaa| cehare para prabhAva! use yogIpana kahate haiN| unheM dekhate hI ghabarAhaTa ho jAe hama saba ko| itanA adhika tApa lagatA thA hameM ki na puucho| praznakartA : lekina aba yaha klU milA ki Dara kyoM lagatA thA! pUrva janma ke yogI the aura una yogiyoM kA tApa z2abaradasta hotA hai| dAdAzrI : bahuta tApa, bahuta taap| itanA tApa thA ki unake pAsa soe~ to vaha bhI sahana nahIM ho sakatA thaa| bhAI ne TokA, 'tujhe ghor3I para baiThanA nahIM AyA' praznakartA : daadaa| maNi bhAI ne Apako kabhI TokA ho, koI galatI batAI ho, aisI koI bAta batAie na ! dAdAzrI : unakI ghor3I ne mujhe bhI eka bAra girA diyA thaa| phira ghara Akara maiMne bar3e bhAI ko yaha btaayaa| aba teraha sAla kI umra meM maiMne aisA kahA ki 'isa ghor3I ne mujhe girA diyA, mujhe laga gaI hai'| taba unhoMne kahA, 'yaha ghor3I itanI kImatI hai to kyA vaha girA degI? tujhe baiThanA hI nahIM AyA hogaa'| bAda meM maiMne bahuta socA ki itanI acchI ghor3I jo kisI ko nahIM girAtI, to usane mujhe girAyA yA maiM gira gayA? mujhe baiThanA nahIM AyA yA usane girA diyA? phira mujhe samajha meM A gayA ki mujhe baiThanA hI nahIM AyA thaa| maiM samajha gyaa| maiMne kAna pakar3a lie| hameM baiThanA nahIM aayaa| nikkame gira jAte haiM! aura phira logoM se kyA kahatA hai ki 'ghor3I ne mujhe girA diyA' aura ghor3I apanA nyAya kise batAne jAe? tujhe ghor3I para baiThanA nahIM AyA usameM terI galatI hai yA ghor3I kI? aura ghor3I bhI usake baiThate hI samajha jAtI hai ki 'yaha to jaMgalI jAnavara baiThA hai, ise baiThanA hI nahIM aataa'|

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[7] bar3e bhAI 185 gusse meM pheMka die sTova aura kapa-pleTa praznakartA : bar3e bhAI kA yadi itanA tApa va prabhAva thA to bhAbhI ke sAtha unakA vyavahAra kaisA thA ? dAdAzrI : hamAre bar3e bhAI bahuta gussaila the| eka bAra mehamAna Ae the aura mehamAnoM ko z2arA jaldI hogI, to isalie unhoMne kahA, 'jaldI cAya rakha do'| mujhase pUchA ki 'tU kahakara A gayA cAya banAne ke lie ?' maiMne kahA, 'hA~, kaha diyA' / to bhAbhI ko jaldI se cAya banAne ke lie khaa| hamArI bhAbhI sTova jalAne gaIM lekina sTova ThIka se nahIM jala rahA thaa| to sTova meM pina nahIM laga rahI hogI, aisA kucha ho gayA hogA, pahale to aisA hI thA na saba ? yaha to sATha sAla pahale kI bAta kara rahA huuN| sTova meM pina DAlI lekina aMdara bharA huA kacarA nahIM niklaa| aMdara phU~ka mAra rahe the| sTova ko paTaka rahe the| eka kaMkarI bhara gaI hogI, to usa dina sTova ThIka se nahIM calA to hamArI bhAbhI ko cAya banAne meM z2arA dera lagI / bar3e bhAI ko jaldI thI aura yaha saba jhaMjhaTa huI, isase hamAre bar3e bhAI kA miz2Aja z2arA bigar3a gayA / phira ve hamArI bA ke sAmane cillAne lage ki 'paMdraha minaTa ho gae itanI dera meM to pUrA khAnA bana jAe lekina cAya kA bhI ThikAnA nahIM hai'| aba cir3hA huA iMsAna kyA nahIM kara sakatA ? isalie ve cir3hakara aMdara (rasoIghara meM) Ae aura cir3ha hI cir3ha meM kahA, 'tujhase kucha bhI nahIM ho sktaa'| taba ve jaldI karane gaI, jaldI meM pina mArane gaIM to pina aMdara TUTa gaI taba bhAI aura z2yAdA cir3ha ge| phira bhAI ne kyA kiyA? unhoMne to gussA hokara sTova ko uThAkara bAhara pheMka diyA ekadama se / jalate hue sTova ko pheMka diyA, aura jo kapa-pleTa the na, unheM bhI lAta mArakara pheMka diyaa| tapasvI to bahuta krodhI hote haiM / na jAne kyA kara deM ! gussA A jAe to kyA kucha nahIM kareMge ?

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186 jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) praznakartA : hA~, vaha ThIka hai / junUna A jAe to kyA nahIM kara sakate ? dAdAzrI : eka to ajJAnatA aura phira junUna A gayA, isalie sabakucha bAhara pheMka diyaa| taba mujhe ha~sI A gii| aMdara sabhI mehamAna baiThe the / isalie maiMne kahA, 'aba kyA kareM ?' taba kahA, 'aba kyA kareM ? pichale daravAz2e se jAkara kahIM hoTala se cAya le aa'| maiMne kahA, 'hoTala se nahIM lAnI caahie| maiM abhI sTova lekara AtA hU~ par3osa meM se'| phira maiMne kahA, 'aba kyA kapa-pleTa nahIM lAne par3eMge?' to thor3I dera bAda kahA, 'lAne to par3eMge na !' yahI jhaMjhaTa ! taba maiMne kahA, 'ye kapa-pleTa phor3a die, nahIM phor3ate to acchA rahatA na!' to kahA, 'hA~, vaha to gusse meM pheMka die' / bolo aba, usakA kyA... aisA hai yaha jagat ! sAre kapa-pleTa phor3a die| kyA vaha unheM zobhA detA ? sTova bhI bAhara pheMka diyA, kapa-pleTa sabhI pheMka die aura aisA saba! isa taraha iMsAna cir3hatA hai aura sirpha cir3ha hI paidA karatA hai| taba cAya banAne vAle ke mana meM dahazata ghusa jAegI n| do bAdAma kI (z2arA sI) cAya aura kitanA bar3A tUphAna ? aura bhAbhI bhI kyA karatIM usameM ? sTova kharAba ho to ve kyA karatIM ? praznakartA : lekina ve aisA kucha samajhate nahIM the na ! dAdAzrI : nahIM, lekina aise kaise mehamAna ki bhagavAna se bhI bar3hakara? mehamAna se kahanA cAhie ki ' bhAI sTova nahIM jala rahA hai| ApameM se koI hoziyAra ho to z2arA jalAkara do na !' usameM kyA kucha bigar3a jAtA ? apanA bhAva hai unheM cAya pilAne kA lekina unheM aisA nahIM rhaa| mehamAnoM ke sAmane iz2z2ata rakhane ke lie yoM pheMkA / iz2z2atadAra iMsAna ko kyA kabhI kapar3e pahanane par3ate hoMge ? yaha saba kisalie ? iz2z2ata bacAne ke lie kapar3e pahanate haiM / maiM bAhara saba dekhakara AyA hU~ / ye saba nakze maiM yoM hI bhUla jAU~gA kyA ? ye nakze kyA bhUla sakate haiM ? ye sabhI nakze dekhe haiM na ?

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[7] bar3e bhAI 187 praznakartA : hA~, dekhe haiN| dAdAzrI : to sTova ko bAhara par3A huA dekhA, aura jale huA bhI dekhA! maz2A AtA hai, ha~sanA bhI AtA hai yAda krke| praznakartA : dAdA, isa taraha se pheMkane se (sTova kA) sArA kacarA nikala jAtA hai kaI baar| dAdAzrI : hA~, nikala jAtA hai, phira jalane lagatA hai| hA~, to hamAre bhAI ne aisA kiyA thA lekina kacarA nahIM niklaa| phira hamArI bhAbhI ne kahA, 've bhale hI pheMkeM lekina Apa le Ao na, sTova to le aao| ye kapa-pleTa gae to gae lekina sTova to lAnA par3egA na?' use ThIka karavAkara phira kAma meM lete the na! saba yoM hI thor3e hI muphta meM de dete haiM ? sAta rupae lete the pItala ke sTova ke| praznakartA : una dinoM sAta rupae AsAna nahIM the| dAdAzrI : hA~, AsAna nahIM the| bahuta ahaMkArI isalie paMgata meM nahIM baiThate the praznakartA : loga unase ghabarAte hoM, aisI koI ghaTanA batAie na! dAdAzrI : muhalle meM jainoM ke ghara the na, to muhalle meM jaba seThoM ke vahA~ para khAne ke lie jAnA hotA thA na, taba seTha ghabarAte the| pUrA muhallA ghabarAtA thaa| 'maNi bhAI sAhaba, maNi bhAI sAhaba' karate the| Apa jaise ve sabhI seTha kyA karate the? 'merI beTI kI zAdI hai to Apako AnA hai maNi bhAI,' ve Akara aisA kaha jAte the| kyoMki! muhalle meM the isalie logoM ko khAnA khilAnA par3atA hai n| jAna-pahacAna hai isalie khAnA to khilAnA par3atA thA na! zAdI ke samaya hama donoM bhAIyoM ko khAne para bulAte the lekina mere baDe bhAI kA rivAz2a kyA thA, jAnate ho Apa? mere bar3e bhAI kyA kahate the? 'hA~, lekina hama kahIM bhI kisI ke yahA~ khAnA khAne nahIM jAte haiN| kyoMki hamAre bar3e bhAI kA aisA niyama thA ki 'khule sira maiM khAnA khAne nahIM bailuuNgaa| loga khAne ko bulAte the

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188 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) taba kahate the ki, 'maiM kisI bhI jagaha para sira khulA rakhakara bAhara khAnA khAne nahIM baiThatA huuN'| ve to sApha-sApha kaha dete the| praznakartA : lAina meM nahIM bailUMgA, vaha bhI oNrDinarI lagatA hai| dAdAzrI : haM, khAnA vagairaha nahIM khAte the| loga kahate the, 'maiM ghara para bhijavA dU~?' taba kahate, 'hamAre ghara para bhI nhiiN'| phira maiM unheM samajhAtA thA ki 'ghara meM baiThAoge to Ae~ge, paMgata meM nahIM baittheNge'| to ve saba AsapAsa vAle seTha kyA karate the ki 'bhAI, Apa donoM bhAIyoM ko ghara meM baiThanA hai'| taba ve kahate the, 'acchA, to jaauuNgaa| maiM ghara meM bailuuNgaa'| to loga ghara meM baiThAte the| pUrI jAti ke loga hoM, muhalle meM cAhe kahIM bhI khAnA khAne jAnA ho, lekina maNi bhAI khAnA nahIM khAte the| bAkI, maiM to bAhara baiTha jAtA thaa| maiM to bAhara baiTha jAtA thA, mujhe koI harja nahIM thaa| hama aise iz2z2ata vAle nahIM the na! hamArA aisA rauba-vauba nahIM thA, hama to sAmAnya iMsAna kahe jAte the| ve asAmAnya the, to ve aisA kahate the 'khule sira pablika ke bIca meM khAnA khAne nahIM bailUMgA?' aba hama usameM kyA kara sakate the? phira loga becAre kyA karate the? aba loga aise Ar3e AdamI ke sAtha nikAla (nipaTArA) to karate na, nahIM karate? praznakartA : nikAla to karanA hI par3atA hai na! dAdAzrI : unake mu~ha para aisA kauna kahe ki 'Ar3e ho?' 'bhAI, Apake lie to hamane ghara meM khAnA khAne kI vyavasthA rakhI hai to maNi bhAI sAhaba! Apako khAnA khAne ghara meM baiThAe~ge', aisA kahate the| ghara meM pIr3hA rakhakara usa para baiThAkara khAnA khilAte the| muhalle meM koI bhI unheM khAnA khAne bAhara nahIM baiThAtA thaa| muhalle meM koI bhI vyakti aisA nahIM kahane AyA ki 'jahA~ saba loga baiThe haiM, Apa bhI vahA~ khAnA khAne baitthie'| unheM ghara meM baiThAte the hmeshaa| unheM aura mujhe donoM ko ghara meM baiThAte the aura bAkI saba ko bAhara baiThAte the| pUrI jAti ke loga bAhara baiThate the| dimAg2a aisA thA ki unheM ghara meM baiThAnA par3atA thaa| ve kabhI bhI

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[7] bar3e bhAI 189 rAste para, khule sira khAnA khAne nahIM baiThe kisI bhI jagaha pr| bArAta meM jAte to vahA~ bhI unheM kisI ke ghara meM hI baiThAnA par3atA thaa| kabhI bhI lAina meM khAnA khAne nahIM baiThate the| aisA rauba kahA~ se? kauna se deza se Ae the, vaha bhI patA nahIM calatA thA! hAlAMki unake ye sAre niyama mujhe acche nahIM lagate the lekina mujhe unake sAtha baiThanA par3atA thA na! apanA bhI rauba par3a jAtA thA na! hameM baiThAte the to unakA bhI rauba par3atA thA aura unake sAtha muphta meM merA bhI rauba par3a jAtA thaa| aba, AmadanI kitanI thI? z2arA bhI AmadanI nahIM thii| unakI jAyadAda meM kyA thA? kucha bhI nahIM thA! bahuta zorazarAbA, bahuta uchala-kUda, aisA thA yaha sb| lekina pATIdAra kaise the ve! kSatriyoM kA rakta thaa| pUrva janma ke puNya kI vajaha se loga rAjA kI taraha rakhate the praznakartA : kyA zurU se hI aisA niyama thA unakA? dAdAzrI : unheM loga aisA kahate the ki unameM 'miyA~pana,' bahuta hai| miyA~pana kyoM kahate the? bAdazAhI hotI to miyA~pana nahIM khte| yaha to aisA thA ki ghara para bAdazAhI nahIM thii| praznakartA : bAdazAhI nahIM ho to use miyA~pana kahate haiM ? dAdAzrI : varnA aura kyA kahate? bahuta miyA~pana lekina mu~ha para kahakara to dekho! __ praznakartA : unake mu~ha para nahIM kahate the| Apake bar3e bhAI ne jo bAta kI, to pichale janma ke saMcita puNya ke hisAba se ve miyA~panI rakhate the na? dAdAzrI : kisa hisAba se? praznakartA : bar3e bhAI jaba aisA kahate the ki 'maiM bAhara nahIM khaauuNgaa| maiM aMdara hI khAU~gA' lekina vaha to unakA puNya hogA tabhI loga usa anusAra karate the na?

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190 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : z2abaradasta puNya! rAjA kI taraha rakhate the| Aja hAtha meM kucha bhI nahIM thA lekina pahale kA kucha hogA! praznakartA : pahale kA hogaa| dAdAzrI : bahuta bar3A puNya khlaaegaa| ApakI bAta sahI hai| kyA puNya ke binA loga unheM bulAte? koI khAnA khAne bhI nahIM bulaataa| bAhara (baiThAkara) bhI khAnA khAne nahIM bulAte na ! bAhara baiThakara khAte, taba bhI nahIM bulaate| ye to kyA kahate the ki 'bAhara nahIM, aMdara ghara meM baitthaaeNge'| aura logoM ne baiThAyA bhI thA, maiMne dekhA hai| mujhe bhI baiThAte the| 'baccoM ko kyA dhAr3a meM denA hai', isalie nahIM hue bacce loga mujhase kahate haiM, 'Apa donoM hI bhAI ni:saMtAna kyoM haiM ? kyA Apa donoM bhAIyoM kA vyavasthita hI aisA hai?' taba maiMne kahA, 'hamAre bhAI se agara koI bacce kI bAta karatA ki, 'Apa baccoM ke lie vApasa zAdI kIjie, ' kyoMki pahalI bAra kI patnI se eka beTA thA, vaha beTA mara gayA aura patnI kA bhI dehAMta ho gyaa| usake bAda dUsarI bAra phira se zAdI kI aura phira tIsarI bAra ke lie kaha rahe the, 'phira se zAdI karo' taba bar3e bhAI ne kahA, 'baccoM ko kyA dhAr3a meM denA hai?' bolo 'jahA~ para aisI vANI nikale to vahA~ vyavasthita meM hI nahIM hogA na!' ataH hama donoM hI bhAI aise haiN| baccoM-vaccoM kI kucha bhI nahIM par3I thii| praznakartA : dAdA, 'dhAr3a meM denA' jarA ye zabda samajhAie na ! dAdAzrI : 'senA meM bharatI karavAkara lar3ane bhejanA ho', use dhAr3a meM denA hai, aisA kahate haiN| dhaadd'| dhAr3a meM kahA aura hamAre yahA~ kisI paTela ko beTA hone para agara ve per3e bA~TeM, taba bar3e bhAI kyA kahate the? 'are bhAI, agara rAjA ke yahA~ janma huA hotA to ThIka hai, sirpha eka darAMtI (ghAsa ukhAr3ane kA choTA sA hathiyAra) hI bacI hai, usameM kyA bA~TanA?' ve tiraskAra se use aisA kahate the| eka bAra hamAre mAmA-mAmI kA eka choTA baccA thA, sAla-Der3ha

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[7] bar3e bhAI 191 sAla kA, to use DaoNkTara ke yahA~ le jAnA thaa| taba mAmI ne unase kahA ki, 'bhA~je jI, calo hamAre saath| isa bacce ko dikhAne le jAnA hai| taba bhAI ne kahA, 'calie, maiM AtA huuN'| to bhAI bhI mAmI ke sAtha eka DaoNkTara ke yahA~ gae the| phira hospiTala se jaba vApasa lauTa rahe the, taba rAste meM eka tAlAba aayaa| usa tAlAba ko dekhA to bar3e bhAI ne mAmI se kahA, 'isa lothar3e ko pheMka do ismeN'| aba aise iMsAna kA kyA kareM? unheM baccoM kI kucha bhI nahIM par3I thii| praznakartA : yAnI ki yogI hI the na, ekadama yogii| dAdAzrI : ve to kyA kahate the? 'bacce ko dhAr3a meM denA hai?' phira bolo, yadi buddhi ke Azaya meM hI nahIM ho to phira hoMge hI nahIM na! bacce hI nahIM hoNge| yadi bacce kI icchA kI ho to bacce hote haiM, aMdara Azaya meM ho tbhii| saba ApakI icchA ke anusAra hI hotA hai, buddhi ke Azaya ke anusaar| lekina 'dhAr3a meM denA hai' aisA kahate the na, to jaba maiM bhI choTA thA taba aisA kahatA thA, 'dhAr3a meM denA hai ?' lekina phira samajha meM A gayA ki aisA nahIM kahanA caahie| lekina phira beTA nahIM maaNgaa| are! kyA itanA jhaMjhaTa kama hai ki phira yaha jhaMjhaTa bar3hAU~? phira bApa banatA hai, aura phira lothar3e ko aise DAlakara calanA par3atA hai| bApa banane gae ! arthAt pUrva janma ke aise vasUlI vAle RNAnubaMdha nahIM the na ! to itanA z2arA sA RNAnubaMdha ho to vaha pUrA karane ke lie Ate haiN| sirpha paisoM kA hI nahIM kaSAyoM kA bhI hotA hai, yahA~ kA saba hotA hai| Akara bApa ko mAra de, taba jAkara usakA RNa pUrA hotA hai| taba hisAba cukatA hotA hai| aise hisAba hote haiN| rAjasI aura dayAlu, isalie logoM kI madada karate the praznakartA : dAdA, kahate haiM na ki krodhI iMsAna kA dila bahuta sApha hotA hai, to bar3e bhAI kA dila kaisA thA? dAdAzrI : hA~, hamAre maNi bhAI kA mana bahuta bar3A thaa| rAjasI

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192 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) mana vAle the| jo kucha bhI unake pAsa hotA, vaha saba de dete the| agara rAste meM koI kahe ki 'mujhe aisA duHkha hai', to ve use de dete the| bahuta sArA de dete the| agara rAste meM bhI Apa kaho ki 'mere sAtha aisA saba huA', to ApakA sArA duHkha le lete| 'ApakA de do' kahate the, aise iMsAna the| yoM bahuta dayAlu, aura prema maya iMsAna the, lekina bhole the becaare| kitane hI rAjasI loga bahuta bhole hote haiM, diladAra hote haiM vaise iNsaan| maiM bholA nahIM hU~, ve to zurU se hI bhole the| unase z2arA sI bhI mIThI bAta karo na, to jo mA~go vaha de dete| maiM nahIM detA hU~, maiM samajhakara detA huuN| praznakartA : lekina dAdA, vaha khumArI (gaurava, garva, gurUra) hai| dAdAzrI : bahuta j'brdst| phira yahA~ rasoIghara meM khAnA bhI khilAte the| kitane hI loga dopahara hote hI cAya pIne nikalate the, yahA~ zahara meM bhii| apane maNi bhAI ke yahA~ aise kaI loga Ate the| ve ghara para cAya nahIM banAte the, hN| do loga hote the na, to eka kahatA thA, 'tU vahA~ jA, maiM idhara jAtA huuN| to ghara para cAya nahIM banAte the, nahIM pIte the| abhI taka bhI, maiMne to dekhA hai yaha sb| maNi bhAI to rAjasI iMsAna the isalie ve kucha nahIM kahate the, kucha bhI nhiiN| aisI-vaisI koI jhaMjhaTa nhiiN| maiM bahuta sUkSmatA se socane vAlA iMsAna hU~, maiM hisAba nikAla letA thA ki ye cAya pIne Ae haiM lekina unake mu~ha para nahIM kahatA thaa| mu~ha para to aisA hI kahatA thA ki, 'Aie, padhArie' lekina mana meM lagatA thA ki 'yaha cAya pIne AyA hai'| mujhe bevakUpha banA jAe, vaha acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| maz2adUroM kA pakSa lekara pulisa oNphisara ko kiyA narama praznakartA : Apane kahA thA ki bar3e bhAI se phaujadAra (pulisa oNphisara), saba bar3e-bar3e oNphisara bhI ghabarAte the, to aisI koI bAta batAie na! dAdAzrI : hamAre bar3e bhAI kA kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma thaa| vahA~ para

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[7] bar3e bhAI phaujadAra (pulisa vAlA) kAThiyAvAr3I maz2adUroM ko ghusane nahIM detA thaa| maz2adUroM ko DA~TatA thA to maz2adUra use eka-do rupae dete the| bar3e bhAI ko patA calA ki yaha oNphisara maz2adUroM se paisA khA jAtA hai| to eka dina bar3e bhAI cabUtare para baiThe hue the, unhoMne phaujadAra ko Ate hue dekhaa| taba phaujadAra se pUchA 'Apa phaujadAra ho kyA? Apane hamAre logoM se paise lie haiM? yahA~ para aisA niyama nahIM hai ' / phira pAsa meM jo DaMDI rakhI huI thI, vaha phaujadAra ke sAmane uThAI ! 'are! maz2adUroM ko lUTatA hai?' to phaujadAra to bhAgA aura bhAI pIche-pIche daudd'e| taba usane kahA, 'maiM ApakI gaiyA huuN'| usake bAda bar3e bhAI ne use chor3A / 193 hamAre bar3e bhAI kahate the ki 'pahalA vAra rANA kA ' / agara phaujadAra ke sAmane narama par3a jAe~ to phaujadAra car3ha baiThegA ki, 'aise maz2adUroM ko kyoM lAte ho ?' naramI kI bhI hada hotI hai / nahIM ghabarAte the gAyakavAr3a ke cacere bhAI se bhI mere bar3e bhAI to bahuta sakhta miz2Aja vAle the / yahA~ para eka vyakti unheM DarA rahA thaa| gAyakavAr3a sarakAra kA cacerA bhAI thA, mAmA kA beTA, zyAmarAva mhaaraaj| vaha kucha bar3e - bar3e logoM ko ghara para bulAkara aura unheM hanTara mArakara sIdhA kara detA thA / ve to seTha kahalAte the na, vahA~ unheM koI bApa bhI pUchane vAlA nahIM thA / taba mAmA sAhaba, phUphA sAhaba yA mausA sAhaba, hara koI ghusa gae the| rAjA ke nAma para jaba aisA karate, taba phira loga bhI kyA kareM ? mahArAja aise nahIM the| mahArAja bahuta acche the lekina unake nAma kA ina saba logoM ne phAyadA utthaayaa| bar3e-bar3e netA loga, do sau-do sau bIghA ke mAlika yoM rAjA jaise dikhAI dete the, taba nazA nahIM car3hatA kyA ? to zyAmarAva mahArAja ne eka bAra maNi bhAI ke phrenDa ko phttkaaraa| ve iTaurA ke eka pATIdAra the, unheM haMTara mAra-mArakara unakA tela nikAla diyaa| taba hamAre bar3e bhAI ko, eka zyAmarAva mahArAja kA koI karmacArI

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194 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) hogA, to phira vaha batAne aayaa| usane kahA, 'merA nAma mata lenaa| maiM to vahA~ para naukarI karatA huuN'| to unakA karmacArI zyAmarAva kI bAta batAne lgaa| usa karmacArI ne maNi bhAI ko zyAmarAva kI logoM ko DarAne kI aura haMTara mArane kI bAta batAI aura kahA ki 'ApakA bhI nAma lene kI taiyArI kara rahA hai vh'| jaba bradara ko patA calA ki usa paTela ko haMTara se mArA to unakA dimAg2a phaTane lagA ki kyA samajhatA hai vaha ? tere zyAmarAva kI aisI kI taisii'| kahanA tere zyAmarAva se| taba unake jo karmacArI the na, to unhoMne kahA, 'Apa zyAmarAva mahArAja ke lie aisA kaha rahe haiM, lekina mahArAja ko agara yaha patA calegA to ApakI kyA dazA hogI?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'are, tere zyAmarAva kI aisI kI taisii| jA, kaha de, aise to kitane hI dekhe haiM maiNne| tere zyAmarAva jaisoM ko to maiMne lapeTakara rakha diyA hai, na jAne kahA~ ur3A diyA hai!' vaha karmacArI to ghabarA hI gyaa| usane jAkara zyAmarAva se kahA, lekina zyAmarAva se kucha bhI na ho skaa| ye to bahuta tez2a iMsAna the! ye to kisI se bhI jhagar3A mola le leM, aise iMsAna ! khule Ama jhagar3A kareM, aise! kisI ko kucha mAnate hI nahIM the| mere bar3e bhAI to itane khaTTe svabhAva vAle the ki unheM paravazatA to bilkula bhI nahIM calatI thii| ve zyAmarAva se bhI aisA kaha dete the! lekina ve puNyazAlI iMsAna the isalie kucha nahIM huaa| kisI kI bhI gulAmI pasaMda nahIM thI bar3e bhAI ko Apa purAnI bAteM nahIM jAnate ho| ye sArI purAnI bAteM hamAre dimAg2a meM bharI huI haiN| ye rAjA to bahuta viSama hote the, unake cacere bhAI bhI bahuta viSama hote the| praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : mAmA sAhaba, phUphA sAhaba aura cAcA saahb| aisA to kahIM hotA hogA? iMsAna para aisA atyAcAra karanA acchA nahIM hai ! usake bajAya to yaha DemakraiTika (janataMtra) bahuta acchA hai| isameM vaisA to nahIM

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[7] bar3e bhAI 195 hotaa| ve loga to jise cAhe use mArate the| jise cAhe use mArate the| jaba khuda kA manacAhA nahIM hotA thA, tb| ye to kisI ko bhI haMTara mAra dete the| usakA kyA artha hai ? zyAmarAva ne mere bradara ke dosta ko bhI mArA thaa| usase unakA dimAg2a ghUma gayA aura phira unhoMne kyA zabda kahe ki 'isa deza meM iMsAna kI taraha jIne ke bajAya iMgalainDa meM kutte kI taraha jInA acchA hai'| kama se kama svataMtra deza to hai! isa gAyakavAr3a sarakAra ke lie maiM taiyAra nahIM huuN| isa sarakAra kA zAsana! isalie yaha vAkya DhU~Dha nikAlA ki 'iMgalainDa kA kuttA acchA, lekina yahA~ para manuSya honA burA hai', aisA khaa| aisA kaha rahe the ve| hAlAMki vaha mA~ga bhI galata thii| usase kyA phAyadA? kutte kI yoni meM kyA phAyadA? lekina unheM yaha saba acchA nahIM lagA thaa| praznakartA : acchA nahIM lgaa| dAdAzrI : aisA nahIM honA caahie| kaise sahana hotA yaha? logoM ko isa taraha se parezAna karate rahate the to vaha unase sahana nahIM hotA thaa| ve to kATa hI dete, aura kucha nahIM krte| bahuta sakhta iMsAna the| sUbedAra ko bhI DarA dete the aura ghara baiThe ceka ma~gavAte the praznakartA : kahate haiM, maNi bhAI to sUbedAra (kalekTara) ko bhI sunA dete the| dAdAzrI : hamAre bhAdaraNa meM apane jeThA bhAI nAraNa bhAI karake eka sUbedAra the, ve hamAre cacere bhAI hote haiN| hamArI chaThI pIr3hI ke cacere bhAI the, ve jeThA bhaaii| ve yahA~ ahamadAbAdI muhalle meM aMtima ghara meM rahate the| ve yahA~ para bar3audA paMcAyata ke presiDenTa the| gavarnamenTa ne unheM sUbedAra banA diyaa| bradara kaoNnTraikTara the, to ve bar3audA Akara kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma karate the| kAma kaoNnTraikTa kA thA na! to unheM paMcAyata meM TenDara rakhanA thaa| unheM

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196 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) jo bila ke paise lene hote the na, taba klarka vagairaha jaldI nahIM dete the| ve bila lene paMcAyata meM jAte the| usa samaya aMdara ghusate hI pAsa vAle rUma meM, pahale oNphisa meM hI hamAre cacere bhAI, sUbedAra baiThe hote the| to bar3e bhAI yahA~ se paMcAyata ke oNphisa meM jAte samaya zora macAte hue hI jAte the aura sabhI klarkoM ke sAmane kahate the ki 'are, hamArA vaha cacerA bhAI, vaha 'pADA rAMDavo' AyA hai yA nahIM?' presiDenTa ko, aba use aisA kahate the, usa sUbedAra ko aura phira vaha sUbedAra bhI vaha sunate the| aba klarka ke sAmane sUbedAra ko 'pADA rAMDavo' kahate the, to una klarkoM kI kyA dazA hotI hogI becAroM kI? ve ghabarA jAte the ki 'maNi bhAI AyA', aisA kahate the! aura aMdara hI aMdara vaha sUbedAra bhI ghabarAtA rahatA thA ki 'AyA maNi bhAI, AyA maNi bhAI!' isalie phira maNi bhAI jaba oNphisa meM ghusate the taba klarka turaMta hI bila nikAlakara de dete the| 'taiyAra nahIM ho phira bhI de do', aisA kahate the| phira sUbedAra kahate the ki, 'maNi bhAI baiTha, maiM kaha detA hU~, terA ceka abhI de deNge'| yoM ve aMdara hI aMdara ghabarAte the aura jaldI hI klarka ko bulAkara kahate the, 'pahale ina maNi bhAI kA ceka banA do| taba maNi bhAI kahate the, 'merA ceka ghara baiThe pahu~ca jAnA caahie'| 'hA~, hA~, ghara baiThe bhijavA dUMgA' sUbedAra kahatA thaa| nyAyI hisAba-kitAba nahIM thA isalie hameM acchA nahIM lagatA thA __ ve aisA bola dete the, unakA kAmakAja bahuta kharAba thA, nyAyI nahIM thA, isalie mujhe acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| bAkI bahuta mardAnagI thI! bahuta z2oradAra iMsAna, kucha alaga hI taraha kA brena phira bhI aisA to nahIM kahanA caahie| aisA to kahanA hI nahIM caahie| phira ve sUbedAra Akara hamArI bA se kaha jAte the ki 'hamAre bhAI lagate haiN| maiM kyA karU~? ye aisA kahate haiM! 'pADA rAMDavo' kahate haiN| phira mujhase kahA, 'bhAI aisA kaha rahe the ye maNi bhAI, dekho na! kyA

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[7] bar3e bhAI 197 aisA acchA lagatA hai ? zobhA detA hai kyA?' taba maiMne kahA, 'yaha saba galata hai| aisA nahIM bolanA caahie'| khuda ke cacere bhAI aura kitane acche sUbA! ve bahuta lAyaka iMsAna the lekina maNi bhAI unheM aisA saba kahate the| ve sirpha unheM akele ko hI aisA nahIM kahate the, bAkI saba ko bhI kahate the| phaujadAra ko, phaujadAra ke bApa ko bhI kaha dete the| ve kisI kI nahIM sunate the| maiMne nahIM dekhA ki unhoMne kabhI kisI sUbedAra kI sunI ho! aura hama to nmr| hama sakhta ke sAtha hI sakhta rahate the, lekina merI sakhtI to do Ane kii| yaha barachI hai na merI, barachI kahalAtI hai| ekz2ekTa hamAre pAsa barachI thI, lekina usakA tabhI patA calatA thA jaba hama usakA upayoga karate the| vANI hI aisI nikalatI thI ki sAmane vAle kA hArTa baiTha jAe, chAtI baiTha jaae| vaha ekz2ekTa barachI, hN| lekina agara Apane hamAre bar3e bhAI kI barachI dekhI ho to bahuta g2az2aba kI thI! maiM bhI ghabarAtA thA unse| koI sahI bAta bhI nahIM kaha sakatA thaa| brAnDI kI lata se kImata calI gaI bar3e bhAI kI to aisA miz2Aja kaise pusAe? unheM mAra bhI bahuta khAnI par3atI thI, hN| vaha to sarakAra kI vajaha se aisI sArI jhaMjhaTa thI lekina brAnDI kI vajaha se unakI jo barachI thI vaha khatma ho gii| brAnDI meM ur3A dete the log| 'jAne do na, pIte haiM' aisA kahate the| praznakartA : bar3e bhAI brAnDI pIte the? dAdAzrI : hA~, unheM pIne-karane ko cAhie thaa| eka tulasI bhAI the na, unheM to ve itanA-itanA kahate the| tulasI bhAI ne eka hI bAra kahA thA, 'maNi bhAI, itanI dArU aura yaha saba... Apako itanI jyAdA nahIM pInI cAhie, z2arA hisAba se lo na!' taba unhoMne kahA, 'maiM apanI kamAI meM se pItA hU~, mere paise se lAkara pItA huuN| Apa mujhe salAha mata denaa'| ___ hA~, aisA kahate the| kisI kI nahIM sunate the| bhASA galata thI aura bahuta ahaMkArI / aba aisA galata to nahIM bolanA cAhie, aisA nahIM bolanA

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198 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) cAhie, lekina tulasI bhAI ko bhI itanA saba sunA diyA isalie tulasI bhAI bahuta ghabarAte the| ___merI baira bA~dhane kI taiyArI nahIM thI, bar3e bhAI taiyAra maNi bhAI aise iMsAna the ki jaba bAhara nikalate the, to pUre muhalle meM koI vyakti aisA nahIM thA jo unake sAmane do akSara bhI kaha sake, phira cAhe vaha sUbedAra ho yA phaujadAra ho| praznakartA : unake sAmane koI bhI nahIM bolaa| dAdAzrI : unake sAmane eka akSara bhI nhiiN| pIche se bahuta kucha kahate the, lekina unake sAmane cupa, bilkula cup| jaba ve bolate the taba unakA nAma bhI nahIM le sakate the| kisI ne nAma liyA to khtm| phira yaha nahIM dekhate the ki isase kyA baira bNdhegaa| baira bhogane ke lie taiyAra, ve khuda hI taiyaar| maiM pahale se hI baira bA~dhane ko taiyAra nahIM thaa| baira kI vajaha se bahuta mAra khAI thI maiNne| mujhe sAre anubhava haiM, yAda haiM sabhI pUrva janma ke| baira se kyA phAyadA huA, vaha mujhe yAda hai! maiM to baira se parezAna ho gayA thaa| pIche se to saba kahate haiM mere sAmane kaheM to mAnUM eka dina maiMne unase kahA, 'isa ghar3I vAle kI dukAna para ApakI bAteM ho rahI haiN| paccIsa haz2Ara rupae kA udhAra ho gayA hai| loga pIche se ApakA nAma lete haiM ki, 'ye karjadAra ho gae haiN'| Apake pIche saba loga ulTA bolate haiN| taba kahA, 'sUryanArAyaNa para unake sAmane jAkara dhUla ur3Ae~, to ThIka hai! pIche se to hara koI ur3AtA hai| vaha to usakI A~khoM meM hI giregii| mere sAmane kisI ne kucha kahA? mu~ha para koI kahane vAlA milA? mere mu~ha para kahe to ThIka hai'| unake sAmane kabhI koI phaujadAra bhI nahIM bolaa| usa ghar3I vAle se aisA kahanA ki, 'tU udhAra lekara dekha, paccIsa haz2Ara le aa| koI udhAra detA hai tujhe?' pUchakara aanaa| 'mujhe jo udhAra diyA vaha mere bala bUte para diyA hai na! kyA yoM hI udhAra de dete haiM ?'

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[7] bar3e bhAI 199 aisA kahate the| ve rakSaNa karane ke lie aisA kahate the ki 'kisI se pUchanA ki Apa kyoM nahIM lAte?' 'usa dukAna ke lie koI pA~ca haz2Ara bhI udhAra nahIM degaa| mujha para paccIsa haz2Ara kA udhAra hai to mere kaMdhoM para bhAra hai', jA aisA kahakara A jaa| khuleAma aisA kahate the| lekina phira unhoMne cukA die| marate samaya mujhase aisA kahA thA ki 'kisI bhI vyakti ke paise bAkI nahIM rahane caahie'| koI zarAbI kyA kabhI aisI maryAdA rakhatA hai ? aura unhoMne saba cukA diyaa| mere hisse meM to cukAne kA thor3A-bahuta hI rhaa| phira jAyadAda becakara de diyA, kucha bhI karake, lekina cukA diyaa| mArakara AnA, becArA banakara mata AnA ve maNi bhAI zUravIratA vAle kSatriya, pakkA kSatriya kahanA par3egA! sau loga hoM phira bhI koI unakA nAma nahIM le sakatA thA, vaha maiMne dekhA hai aura merI koI sunatA taka nahIM thA, vaha bhI maiMne dekhaa| praznakartA : to kyA Apako aMdara se aisI icchA thI ki 'merI koI sune?' dAdAzrI : nahIM, aisA nahIM thaa| aisI icchA hI nahIM thii| praznakartA : phira sunane kA savAla hI nahIM hai na! dAdAzrI : mujhe (logoM meM) priya banane kI Adata thii| maiM unase kyA kahatA thA ki 'loga mujhase kahate haiM ki bhAI para paccIsa haz2Ara kA udhAra hai, phira bhI itanI ghemarAjI (atyaMta ghamaMDI, jo khuda apane sAmane auroM ko bilkula tuccha mAne) kaise?' taba unhoMne mujhase kahA, 'tujhe kahatA hai, mere mu~ha para kyoM nahIM kahatA? tU becArA banakara ghUmatA hai| yaha becArA acchA hai, yaha becArA acchA hai'| to kisI kA becArA banakara mata AnA yahA~ pr| mArakara AnA, lekina becArA banakara mata aanaa'|

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200 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) mere bAre meM to loga pIche se kahate bhI the, 'do bhAIyoM meM se yaha becArA bahuta acchA hai| choTA vAlA acchA hai'| hA~, vaha 'zera' aura yaha 'becArA' bana gyaa| loga bhI aisA kahate the ki hama donoM meM uttara-dakSiNa kA pharka hai| praznakartA : to eka-dUsare ke kampairiz2ana meM Apako kyA hotA thA taba? dAdAzrI : mujhe acchA nahIM lagatA thA 'becArA' shbd| praznakartA : haM, dAdA ko acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| Apa jaise siMha ko kaise acchA lagatA? dAdAzrI : mere bar3e bhAI hI kahate the na, 'are, vaha kaha rahA thA ki ApakA bhAI becArA bahuta acchA hai| yaha tUne kyA ghusA diyA hai? praznakartA : bhAI sAhaba ne aisA kahA? dAdAzrI : haaN| praznakartA : bar3e bhAI ko bhI acchA nahIM lagA 'becArA?' dAdAzrI : nhiiN| mAra hI dete vahIM para, agara suna lete to! 'becArA' kyoM kaha rahA hai ? bar3e bhAI to zabdoM ko taulane vAloM meM se the| ataH hamAre bar3e bhAI kyA kahate the? 'agara becArA kaheM to yahA~ para mata AnA tuu'| 'becArA' zabda merI DikzanarI meM nahIM honA cAhie, aisA kahate the| itanA saba tUphAna, aisI sArI jhaMjhaTa! mujhe hiMsA kA bhaya, bar3e bhAI ko bilkula bhI nahIM praznakartA : maNi bhAI to bahuta hI dabaMga the| dAdAzrI : bahuta vissm| phaujadAra ko mArate the, nAyaba sUbedAra ko mArate the, sUbedAra ko mArate the, sabhI ko mArate the| vahIM para ur3A deM aise iMsAna the ve to| usakI baMdUka lekara usI ko mAra dete| unheM kisI bhI taraha kA bhaya-vaya nahIM thaa| mujhe to hiMsA karane meM bahuta Dara lagatA thaa|

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[7] bar3e bhAI 201 hama donoM meM itanA hI pharka thA ki mujhe hiMsaka bhAva acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| merI sirpha dahAr3a hotI thI, unake jaisI dahAr3a! unheM bhI pIche chor3a de, aisI dahAr3a nikalatI thii| unake zarIra kI zakti bhI kaisI thI ki eka vyakti ko pIche se dhaula lagAI thI to chaH mahInoM taka usakA khUna jamA huA rhaa| sirpha eka hAtha se dhaula lagAI, utane meM hI khUna jama gyaa| to kaisI hogI unakI kalAI-valAI! bahuta viSama svabhAva, to saba jagaha rauba jamAte the praznakartA : jaba kAMti bhAI hameM Apake ghara bhejate the to hama bhI hara bAra bahuta ghabarAte the| dAdAzrI : hA~, ve bhI ghabarAte the| kAMti bhAI, bhA~je bhAI ko bhejate the| eka bAra ve kAMti bhAI ke pIche bhI jUtA lekara daur3e the| 'mere bhAI ko bigAr3a rahA hai tU' aisA kahA thaa| agara mere bhAI ko bulAne AyA to terI khaira nahIM! unhoMne kAMti bhAI para bhI jUtA pheMkA thaa| ve bhale AdamI to bhAga ge| kyA ho sakatA thA phira? kyA karate? kAMti bhAI bhI bahuta viSama, lekina kyA ho sakatA thA? ye to bahuta viSama putra, bhAdaraNa gA~va meM to aisA DhU~DhanA muzkila ho gayA thaa| aMta taka, saba para bhArI par3e the kyoMki unakA kAmakAja bahuta sakhta thA, bahuta viSama kaamkaaj| praznakartA : sakhta, skht| dAdAzrI : maNi bhAI baMdUka rakhate the| ve bAbariyA kI helpa karate the| apane yahA~ bAbariyA nAma kA luTerA thA, vaha vahA~ par3A rahatA thaa| bAbariyA vahA~ unake ghara meM ghusa jAtA thA kyoMki unheM khuda ko koI harja nahIM thA na, unakI to bAbariyA se dostI thii| lekina mujhe yaha saba acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| hiMsaka cIz2a mujhe acchI nahIM lagatI thii| rauba jamAnA apanA kAma nahIM hai| ve baMdUka calAkara mAra detA thaa| inake sAtha nahIM jamegI, ina bar3e bhAI ke saath|

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202 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) bicchuoM ko mAra dete the isalie bar3e bhAI ko z2yAdA kATate the unakI khopar3I bahuta bhayaMkara thI, rAjavaMzI khopar3I thI z2abaradasta ! ve alaga hI taraha ke iMsAna the, hameM nahIM pusAtA thaa| bicchU ko bhI mAra dete the, lo! aura phira ve Upara laTakA dete the| kisane unheM aisA jJAna diyA hogA? taba maiMne unheM samajhAyA ki 'mujhe, bA aura hIrA bA ko, hama tInoM ko bicchU nahIM kATate, Apa donoM ko (bar3e bhAI aura bhAbhI ko) kATate haiN| sirpha Apa donoM hI bicchuoM ko mArate ho'| taba unhoMne kahA 'tU bhagata hai, tU baiTha yahA~ pr| mujhe terI bAta nahIM sunanI hai'| to isa taraha mArate hI rahate the jabaki hameM to kabhI bicchU mArane kA khyAla taka nahIM aayaa| una dinoM to bar3audA meM jagaha-jagaha para bicchU kATate the| to 1938-39 taka bicchU kATate the, phira khatma ho ge| usa hiTalara ne maMthana kiyA na, usake bAda kA kAla kucha aura hI taraha se badala gayA! usane biloyA to usase badala gayA, varnA aMta hI nahIM thA bicchuoM kA! ve bahuta kATate the, una donoM ko lekina mujhe to bicchU vagairaha ne kabhI bhI nahIM kaattaa| hamAre bar3e bhAI ko hara mahIne bicchU kATatA thaa| unhIM ko DhU~Dhakara kATatA thaa| mujhe nahIM pusAtI hiMsA, bar3e bhAI se alaga thA isa bAre meM eka khaTamala ko mArane ke lie ve cAra diyAsalAI jalAte the aura use satI banA dete the| mujhe to yaha pusAtA hI nahIM thA na! maiM isase kucha alaga pakSa meM thA, hiMsA pakSa se bilkula alg| hiMsA pakSa mujhe pusAtA hI nahIM thA, yaha mAranA-karanA! aise-aise tUphAna saba dekhe the maiNne| isa taraha to saMsAra meM se kaise chUTa sakate haiM? lekina yaha to puNya acchA thA ki chUTa gayA, varnA nahIM chUTa sakate the| kaise chUTate? lekina bA ke ye saMskAra the na! bA bahuta saMskArI thIM! hA~, isIlie sabhI loga bA se kahate the ki 'are bA, Apa

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[7] bar3e bhAI to devI jaisI hoM! yaha bar3A to rAkSasa jaisA hI hai aura dUsarA choTA saMta jaisA hai| eka bhAI kaisA, aura dUsarA bhAI kaisA ! ' ina donoM kA sabakucha alaga hI hai, aisA bhI kahate the / 203 bhAI kA prema bahuta thA, lekina aura kucha bhI mela nahIM khAtA thA praznakartA : maNi bhAI kA bA ke prati kaisA vyavahAra thA ? dAdAzrI : maNi bhAI to rAjasI iMsAna the, bA ko kabhI bhI eka akSara bhI nahIM khaa| praznakartA: aura dAdA, ApakA aura maNi bhAI ke bIca kaisA thA ? dAdAzrI : hamArA bhI utanA hI mela khAtA thA / prema bahuta thA lekina Apasa meM aura kucha bhI mela nahIM khAtA thA / bar3e bhAI kA prema bahuta thA / bAkI yaha saba to maiMne dekhA thA / yaha pUrI duniyA dekhI aura duniyA kA prema bhI dekha liyaa| prema meM kyA milA, vaha bhI dekha liyA / hiMsA ke mata meM alaga lekina ahaMkAra ke maTha meM eka praznakartA : dAdA, kyA ApakA bar3e bhAI se matabheda hotA thA ? kaba hotA thA ? dAdAzrI : bahuta pharka thA hama meN| bar3e bhAI aura hama meN| hama donoM bhAI the lekina donoM ke mata alaga-alaga the| aise the, jaise eka hI maTha meM se Ae hoM phira bhI vicAroM meM bheda thA / ve hiMsA ko svIkAra karate the, maiM hiMsA ko svIkAra nahIM karatA thA / taba maiM kahatA thA, 'Apako isake phala bhugatane par3eMge' / taba kahate the, 'tU AyA bar3A bhagata, narasiMha mehatA jaisA' / ataH isa bAre meM hamArA matabheda thA / praznakartA : lekina dAdA, Apa hiMsA ko svIkAra nahIM karate the aura Apake bar3e bhAI hiMsA ko svIkAra karate the, to ye matabheda hone ke bAvajUda bhI eka hI maTha, kisa prakAra se ? vaha smjhaaie|

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204 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : ahaMkAra meM donoM eka hI lAina meN| praznakartA : ahaMkAra meN| dAdAzrI : kisI jagaha para daMgA karanA ho to donoM taiyAra rahate the| donoM kA khUna ubalatA thaa| are! yadi koI bar3A AdamI kisI duHkhI AdamI ko mAra rahA hotA na, to usakA tela nikAla dete the| yAnI kharA kSatriyapana thA! kSatriyapana kise kahate haiM ki ve rAste calate lar3AI mola le lete haiN| yadi koI zaktizAlI kisI kamaz2ora iMsAna ko mAra rahA ho to kamaz2ora kA pakSa lekara balavAna iMsAna kA tela nikAla de, usake sAtha baira bA~dha le| use kahate haiM 'kSatriya!' siMha ghAsa nahIM khAtA kabhI bhI praznakartA : bar3e hone ke bAda to Apako bar3e bhAI ke sAmane bolane kI himmata AI hogI na? dAdAzrI : hamAre bar3e bhAI roz2a mujhase kahate the ki, 'tujha meM barakata nahIM hai, barakata nahIM hai'| to eka dina maiMne unakI barakata nikAla dii| praznakartA : vaha kisa taraha? dAdAzrI : ve bahuta muzkiloM meM pha~sa gae the| ve rAjA jaise iMsAna, aura jaise ve kabhI bhI nahIM karate the, vaise kArya karane lge| ___ hamAre bar3e bhAI ne eka bAra sau-do sau rupae kA kamizana khAyA hogA kisI se| eka vyakti ne kahA ki 'maNi bhAI sAhaba, hameM itanA lakar3iyA~ cAhie aura Apa to kaoNnTraikTara ho to itanA bhijavA denA' to unhoMne to bhijavA dI lekina kamizana rakha liyaa| unheM sau-Der3ha sau kamizana milaa| taba ghara Akara kaha rahe the ki 'Aja to use lakar3iyA~ bhejakara acchA kamizana milA, Der3ha sau rupyaa'| ___ maiMne kahA, 'kamizana khAyA? yaha kAla badalA! aisA karate ho? aisA puruSa jinakI A~kheM dekhate hI sau loga titara-bitara ho jAte haiN|

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[7] bar3e bhAI 205 Apako dekhate hI phaujadAra-vaujadAra, sUbedAra-vUbedAra saba idhara-udhara ho jAte haiM, ve isa taraha se kamizana khAnA sIkha gae?' taba maiMne bar3e bhAI se kahA ki 'yaha zera tinake khAne lagA hai| nahIM khAnA caahie| khAnA to kyA, chUnA taka nahIM caahie| kauna haiM Apa? kisa jAti ke haiM Apa? Apa kisa taraha ke iMsAna haiM aura tinake khA rahe haiM?' ___maiMne kahA, 'zera ghAsa nahIM khaataa| kisI bhI janma meM nahIM khAI hai, aura pahalI bAra ye ghAsa khA rahe haiN| bhAbhI baiThI thIM aura maiMne kahA, 'anaphiTa haiM ye| yaha mujhe svIkAra nahIM ho rahA hai| ghAsa khAI Apane?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'saMyoga mile to karanA par3atA hai| maiMne kahA, 'nahIM! zera kisI bhI saMyoga meM ghAsa nahIM khaataa| usI ko zera kahate haiM!' / maNi bhAI ko to miTTI meM milA diyA eka din| 'anaphiTa' kahA taba phira unakA pArA to utara hI jAtA na! mUlataH to ve zera jaise iMsAna, jaba unakI bhUla dikhAI, to pahale to hamArI bhAbhI ne rakSaNa kiyaa| kahane lagIM, 'agara aisI ar3acana ho aura usase sau-Der3ha sau le lie to usameM kyA huA? usake lie cakkara lagAyA, usakA kAma kiyA hai aura usakA phAyadA karavA diyA hai'| maiMne kahA, 'nahIM! lekina jise kamizana kahate haiN| vaha hamAre kAma kA nahIM hai| hama zera ke bacce haiN| zera ne kisI bhI janma meM ghAsa nahIM khaaii| ve aise nahIM the ki kamizana leM lekina bhAbhI ke dabAva kI vajaha se huI bhUla vAstava meM aisA kabhI bhI nahIM huA thaa| hamArI lAipha meM bhI aisA nahIM huA thaa| usa dina maNi bhAI ne aisA kiyA lekina vaha to hamArI bhAbhI kA bahuta dabAva thA na, isalie aisA kiyA thaa| yoM kabhI bhI kamizana nahIM khAte the| ve aise nahIM the ki kamizana khaaeN| tinakA bhI na chueN| lAkha rupae hoM taba bhI na chueN| khuda para garIbI A jAe phira bhI na chueN| isalie phira maiMne maNi bhAI se aisA kaha diyA ki 'Apako

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206 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) yaha zobhA nahIM detaa| Apa kaise iMsAna ho? kisake beTe ho vaha to samajho? hamane jiMdagI bhara kabhI kisI kA kucha bhI nahIM chuA hai aura aba Apa kamizana khAte ho?' kisI ne Apako kAma sauMpA hai aura Apa vyApArI se apanA kamizana lete ho? kisI vyakti ne kahA ki 'vahA~ se mujhe z2arA itanA karavA denA na!' to paccIsa haz2Ara ke mAla meM hama tIna sau-cAra sau khA jaaeN| kyA usa vyakti ne aisA socA hogA ki Apa kamizana khAoge? kyA isalie Apako diyA hai? vaha to yahI samajhatA hai ki 'ye khAnadAnI iMsAna haiM, hamArA paisA nahIM bigar3egA!' aura aisA vizvAsaghAta ! aisA hameM zobhA nahIM detA! kyA kisI vyakti se kamizana lenA cAhie? agara hamArA dalAlI kA kAma ho to bAta alaga hai| dalAla kI dukAna ho taba to kaheMge ki 'bhAI, inakI talavAra to Ate-jAte donoM tarapha chIlatI hai, lekina hama aisA kaise kara sakate haiM? Apako to unhoMne saba se acche 'maNi bhAI sAhaba' mAnakara yaha kAma sauMpA thA ki 'agara ina sAhaba ko kAma sauMpUMgA to merA kAma bahuta acchI taraha se ho jaaegaa'| balki hama to itane khAnadAnI iMsAna haiM ki ghor3A gAr3I kA kirAyA bhI apane ghara se diyA hai, asala khAnadAnI ! aisA hameM zobhA nahIM detA hai, kamizana nahIM lenA caahie| agara khAne ko kucha na mile to kyA ghAsa khAnI cAhie? 'siMha ke putra haiN'| taba unhoMne kahA, 'tUne mujhe batAyA usake bAda se samajha meM A gyaa| yaha to terI bhAbhI ne usa dina kahA to taba mujhe vaha bAta acchI lgii'| lekina phira bar3e bhAI ne kahA ki 'yaha saba kamizana nahIM rakhanA caahie| aba tU ise lauTA de'| yadi Apa khAnadAnI ho to aisA zobhA nahIM detA praznakartA : yaha saba bhI naicurala hai na? Apa kucha karane gae the kyA? dAdAzrI : naicurala hai, khAnadAniyata hai yaha to| unakI kaisI khAnadAniyata! maiMne dekhI hai unakI khAnadAniyata ki kisI kA bhI paisA

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[7] bar3e bhAI 207 nahIM lete the, balki hamezA khuda apane hI paise kharca karate the. aura unhoMne aisA kiyA? paisoM ke bAre meM jiMdagI meM agara unhoMne koI bhI galata kAma kiyA ho to vaha yaha thaa| isalie maiMne kahA, 'yadi Apa apane Apako khAnadAnI mAnate ho to yaha zobhA nahIM detA, varnA Apa khAnadAnI nahIM ho'| khAnadAniyata kA ahaMkAra hogA to usameM harja nahIM hai, vaha ahaMkAra khAnadAniyata ko saMbhAla letA hai| varnA yadi vaha ahaMkAra nahIM hogA to khAnadAniyata khatma ho jAegI, divAlA nikAla degaa| bhAI kI burI AdatoM kI vajaha se paisoM kI kamI maNi bhAI yoM to bahuta acche iMsAna the, jaise rAjasI parivAra se hoN| jo kucha pAsa meM hotA thA, vaha de dete the| paisoM kI par3I hI nahIM thii| kAphI bar3A kAmakAja / bahuta AmadanI thI lekina bhAI ko pIne kI lata laga gaI thii| praznakartA : paTeloM meM to kaI logoM meM aisA hotA hI hai, daadaa| dAdAzrI : ye bhAI to rAjasI the aura unheM ina saba kI chUTa thI! siMha ko to pUrI chUTa hotI hai na? ve to siMha vaMza ke the to chUTa to rahegI na? praznakartA : hA~, chUTa rhegii| dAdAzrI : bar3e bhAI bahuta zarAba pIte the isalie pA~ca dasa sAloM taka paisoM kI takalIpha huI thii| una pA~ca-dasa sAloM meM hamAre bhAI ke rAja meM paisoM kI kamI ho gaI thI, bAkI usake bAda paisoM kI kamI nahIM pdd'ii| paise to, jahA~ hAtha DAlU~ na, vahA~ se paise milate the| vyavasAya meM to paise bahuta Ate the, lekina bar3e bhAI ke pIne meM ve kaise Tika pAte? AmadanI bahuta thI lekina jahA~ para zarAba hotI hai na, vahA~ paisA zobhita nahIM hotA, aura bhAI to roz2a pacAsa-sau rupae kI dAru pIte the| praznakartA : oho! dAdAzrI : hamAre bhAI ko to roz2a cAlIsa-pacAsa rupae kI botala

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208 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) kI z2arUrata par3atI thii| aba yaha kAma hameM kaise pusAtA? pacAsa rupae kI botala cAhie aura vaha bhI vilAyatI usameM bhI acchI taraha se pIte the| usa ghara meM rupayA kaise TikatA? kitanI AmadanI hotI thI? 193032 ke z2amAne meN| praznakartA : pacAsa rupae to bahuta bar3I cIz2a thii| Aja ke pA~ca haz2Ara rupae jitne| dAdAzrI : yAnI sArI AmadanI to unake pIne meM hI calI jAtI thii| phira ghara-bAra sabakucha giravI rakha diyA thaa| tarasAlI kI z2amIna bhI giravI rakha dii| gA~va kI dasa bIghA, tarasAlI kI sAr3he cha: bIghA aura ghara-bAra vagairaha saba giravI rakha diyaa| bahuta bItI, usake bAda svataMtra kAma kiyA bhAI se alaga hokara vyApAra meM AmadanI thI una dinoN| una dinoM kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma bahuta acchA mAnA jAtA thA lekina phira paisoM kI kamI par3ane lgii| hama para udhAra car3hane lgaa| phira mujhe alaga ho jAnA pdd'aa| praznakartA : vaha kisa umra meM dAdA? dAdAzrI : tIsa sAla kI umra meM svtNtr| mujha para bhI dasa sAla bahuta burI bItI thI na! isalie phira mujhe yAda raha gayA thodd'aa-bhut| vyApAra meM bar3e bhAI ke sAtha rahA thA, taba bahuta burI bItI thii| praznakartA : kyA bItI thI, dAdA? dAdAzrI : bahuta burI bItI thii| paise udhAra lAne par3ate the aura aisA saba karanA par3atA thaa| anAja udhAra lekara AnA par3atA thaa| kyA use bahuta burI bItI nahIM kaheMge? praznakartA : hA~, burI bItI hI kahA jAegA na, use to| dAdAzrI : hN| vyApAra acchA thA, bar3A vyApAra thA lekina phira

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[7] bar3e bhAI 209 bhI aisA karanA par3atA thaa| kyoMki bhAI kA aisA saba kharcA thaa| brAnDI kA jhaMjhaTa thA sArA! mere svataMtra, alaga ho jAne ke bAda mujha para kucha bhI burI nahIM biitii| bar3e bhAI kI zarAba chur3avAne ke lie z2abaradastI nahIM kI - hamAre alaga ho jAne ke bAda do-tIna loga mere pAsa Ae aura mujhase kahA ki 'Apake bhAI kI zarAba to chur3avA do'| maiMne kahA, 'aba agara ve apane Apa chor3a deM, tabhI ThIka hai, z2abaradastI karane se parezAna ho jaaeNge| __ maiMne to aise saba tUphAna dekhe haiM lekina yaha tarIkA acchA hai na? varnA moha caDha jAtA na? lekina parezAniyA~ to saba taraha kI huI thIM, sabhI taraha kI paristhitiyA~ dekhiiN| unhoMne sukha bhogA aura dasa sAloM taka duHkha bhI A par3A, vaha bhI maiMne dekhaa| praznakartA : kisa cIz2a kA duHkha A par3A? dAdAzrI : z2arUrata kI cIjeM kama par3a jAtI thiiN| mehamAna A jAe~ to mA~ganA-karanA par3atA thaa| pahale khUba mehamAna Ate the to cala jAtA thA lekina phira sabhI mehamAna bhI samajha jAte the ki kucha kama par3a rahA hai! udhAra lAne kA samaya A gayA thaa| yaha saba acchA nahIM kahA jAegA na! praznakartA : kauna se sAla meM, dAdA? dAdAzrI : 1930 se 1936 tk| praznakartA : 1930 se 1936 taka Apa sAtha meM kAma karate the? dAdAzrI : taba maiM sAtha meM kAma karatA thaa| usake bAda apanA alaga vyavasAya karane lgaa| praznakartA : alaga vyavasAya ? dAdAzrI : vyavasAya alaga hone ke bAda bhI mujhe denA par3atA thaa|

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210 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) unakA biz2anesa itanA nahIM calatA thA isalie phira mujhe denA par3atA thaa| phira 1939 meM unase alaga ho gyaa| merA hita isI meM hai ki bhAI ko sukha ho bAIsa-teIsa sAla kI umra meM eka vyakti hama donoM ke bIca meM yoM hI darAra DAlanA cAhatA thaa| ve vyakti mujhase paccIsa sAla bar3e the, ve darAra DAla rahe the| yoM to acche iMsAna the| aba, ve jAna-bUjhakara darAra nahIM DAla rahe the| ve mujhase aisA kahate the ki 'isameM terA hita nahIM hai'| maiMne kahA, 'merA hita isI meM hai ki mere bhAI ko sukha ho| merA sukha merI jAyadAda bacAne meM nahIM hai| ve bujurga to avAk raha ge| yAnI unake kahane se pahale hI maiM samajha gayA ki ye darAra DAlane Ae haiN| __ yadi aisI lata nahIM hotI to... maNi bhAI ko pIne kI lata par3a gaI, vaha bahuta burA huaa| pInA sIkhe rauba mArane ke lie, aura usI vajaha se rauba jamAyA, varnA hamAre gA~va meM una jaisA koI paTela nahIM thaa| __ aisA to hamAre gA~va ke kaI logoM ne kahA ki, 'apanI pUrI jAti meM basa yahI eka marda hai| yadi yaha eka burI Adata na hotI to yaha apane gA~va kA saba se bar3A vyakti mAnA jaataa| yadi pIte nahIM to apanI jAti meM ve nAmI hote'| praznakartA : hA~, nAmI hote| lekina vaha thor3A pIte the yA bahuta? dAdAzrI : j'yaadaa| bahuta z2yAdA pI lete the kaI baar| TopI bhI bhUla jAte the| choTA bhAI ne bhI maNi bhAI se kahA ki 'maNi bhAI, agara Apako yaha lata nahIM hotI to Apa apane gA~va ke z2abaradasta netA mAne jaate'| lekina phira z2arA sI vaha burI Adata par3a gaI na, to sabakucha bigar3a gyaa| spiricuala levala para se ulTI lAina para nahIM to eksepzanala (asAdhAraNa) the, siMha jaise| hamAre bar3e bhAI

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[7] bar3e bhAI 211 bAhara siMha mAne jAte the lekina yaha burI Adata thI isalie unakI vailyU nahIM rhii| brAnDI kI Adata thI na, ve brAnDI pIte the to basa, khatma! iMsAna ke rUpa meM mAne jAne kI kImata hI kahA~ rahI? pI liyA to saba khtm| cAhe kaisA bhI prabhAvazAlI vyakti ho lekina yadi usameM yaha Adata ho to vaha khatma ho jAtA hai| praznakartA : lekina mukhyata: vaha z2ora to nahIM jAtA na, dAdA? dAdAzrI : z2ora to nahIM jAtA lekina zarAba kI Adata thI na, isalie logoM ne nakAra diyaa| yoM bhI unakA vaz2ana nahIM par3ane denA cAhate the to isa lata ke bahAne nakAra diyA logoM ne ki 'jAne do na, pIte haiN| praznakartA : kyA unakA spiricuala levala hAI thA, dAdA? dAdAzrI : spiricuala levala para se isa ulTI lAina para A ge| puNya ke pratApa se rauba sahita bistara para hI mRtyu huI jAnate ho hamAre bar3e bhAI ko saba loga kyA kahate the, 'maNi bhAI, Apa bistara para nahIM mroge'| kyA kahate the? praznakartA : bistara para nahIM mroge| dAdAzrI : jo bhI AtA thA, vaha aisA hI kahatA thA ki 'maNi bhAI, Apa bistara para nahIM mroge| logoM para Apa itanI z2ora-z2abaradastI karate ho, to bAhara hI koI Apako ur3A degaa'| to ve kahate the, 'bAhara nahIM mAre jAe~ge, hama to bistara para hI mareMge! hama to rAjasI iMsAna haiM !' hamAre eka cAcA the catura bhAI karake, to ve kahate the ki 'maNi bhAI, tU bistara para nahIM maregA, bAhara hI mregaa| koI tujhe mAra degaa'| taba ve kahate the, 'vaha ApakI samajha kI bAta hai, merI bAta alaga hai| maiM bistara para mruuNgaa| Apa aanaa'| to ve aise puNyazAlI the ki bistara para hI mre| nahIM to aisA iMsAna bistara para nahIM maratA hai| kisI ko bhI nahIM chor3A thA unhoNne| phira bhI, rauba se bistara para mare, ArAma se| marate samaya aisA kahane vAle unake pAsa hI khar3e the, maiMne dekhA thaa|

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212 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) nahIM gae kisI ke lie smazAna meM, phira bhI loga Ae ___ bar3e bhAI kI mRtyu ke samaya mere mana meM bhaya ghusa gayA ki 'agara koI nahIM AyA to kyA karU~gA? agara koI smazAna meM nahIM AyA to kyA karU~gA? sabhI loga satyAgraha kara leMge to?' kyoMki huA kyA thA ki ve kisI ke lie bhI smazAna meM nahIM gae the| aise pATIdAra the bhAI! kisI ke vahA~ ve khuda smazAna nahIM jAte the aura mujhe bhI nahIM jAne dete the| kahate the, 'are! smazAna meM nahIM jAnA hai'| taba maiMne kahA, 'jaba bA mareMge taba kauna AegA?' taba ve kahate the, 'vaha tujhe nahIM dekhanA hai| smazAna meM nahIM jAnA hai'| isalie maiM nahIM jAtA thaa| lekina phira mujhe bhI aisA bhaya rahA karatA thaa| hamArI bA bUr3hI thiiN| taba maiMne kahA, 'agara bA mara jAe~gI to apane yahA~ koI nahIM aaegaa'| lekina maNi bhAI ko to kisI kI bhI nahIM par3I thii| isalie maiM cupacApa jAkara A jAtA thaa| hama to the vyavahArika iMsAna, vyavahAra saMbhAla lete the| lekina phira bA se pahale to unakI marane kI bArI A gii| lekina jaba ve gae na, usa dina cAlIsa-cAlIsa loga baiThe hue the! koI bhI A~ca nahIM aaii| praznakartA : Izvara kAkA to yaha bAta batAte hue ro par3e the| dAdAzrI : Izvara bhAI ro par3ate the| ve to, jaba maNi bhAI rAta ko DhAI baje mara gae na, to 'o! mere bhAI re' karake khUba roe the| 'are, hameM to ronA nahIM A rahA hai phira Apako kyoM ronA A rahA hai?' ve Izvara bhAI itane bhAvuka the| bhAvukatA rahita nahIM the| bhAvuka the, ve the Izvara bhAI ghdd'iyaalii| aMta meM zarAba chor3akara kie upavAsa maNi bhAI puNyazAlI the, lekina kyA ho sakatA thA? kama umra meM hI mRtyu ho gaI na!

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[7] bar3e bhAI 213 praznakartA : kisa umra meM ? dAdAzrI : pacAsa sAla kI umra meM / pUrA zarIra khatma ho gayA thA unkaa| kyoMki unhoMne usa samaya ikatIsa upavAsa kie the| to upavAsa kI vajaha se mRtyu ho gaI / upavAsa se unheM helpa nahIM huI thI ThIka se / praznakartA : kyA maNi bhAI ne upavAsa kie the ? dAdAzrI : ikatIsa upavAsa kie the, sirpha pAnI pIte the ve / praznakartA : saMthArA jaisA hI huA yaha to ? dAdAzrI : ve kyA saMthArA karate ? ( mRtyu taka upavAsa) bairI puruSa the ve to| ve to, jaisA unake khuda ke mana meM AtA thA, vaisA hI karate the| kisI kI sunate hI nahIM the na ! praznakartA : lekina unhoMne upavAsa kyoM kie the, dAdA ? dAdAzrI : unhoMne upavAsa to isalie kie the ki 'mere zarIra meM jo zarAba ke paramANu haiM, una saba ko sApha kara denA hai'| to unhoMne zarIra kI zuddhi ke lie aisA kiyA thA / ve zarAba pIte the na, to isalie kie tAki zarIra meM se z2ahara nikala jAe / hAlAMki zarAba chUTa gaI thI, unhoMne apane Apa hI chor3a dI thI do sAla pahale hii| usake bAda upavAsa kie| yoM to phira se saMta puruSa jaise bana gae the, kyoMki unakA brena supara thaa| zarIra meM badalAva karane ke lie, zarIra ko phira se puNyazAlI banAne ke lie aura pApa dhone ke lie ikatIsa upavAsa kie the| DaoNkTara to nimitta the, mukhya kAraNa to upavAsa unhoMne upavAsa to kie lekina upavAsa chor3anA nahIM AyA / praznakartA : upavAsa chor3anA nahIM AyA / ekadama se khA liyaa| dAdAzrI : apane ramaNa lAla DaoNkTara haiM na, to ramaNa lAla DaoNkTara ne kahA ki 'z2arA phIke dahI kI chAcha doge to harja nahIM hai ' / to ramaNa

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214 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) lAla ne chAcha pilvaaii| unhoMne chAcha pIne ko kahA aura usase vikAra ho gyaa| peTa bigar3a gyaa| praznakartA : hA~, bigar3a jAtA hai, chAcha bhArI rahatI hai| dAdAzrI : usa chAcha kI vajaha se pariNAma badala gyaa| DaoNkTara kI vajaha se bigar3A aMtima upavAsa ke din| DaoNkTara ko upavAsa chur3avAnA nahIM aayaa| DaoNkTara se vaha bhUla ho gii| isalie kyoMki unakA hisAba rahA hogaa| vaiSNava DaoNkTara ke hAthoM se bigar3ane ke bAda jaina DaoNkTara ko bulaayaa| usake bAda apane ve prANa lAla Ae to unhoMne kahA ki 'nahIM, aisA nahIM karanA caahie| isameM to mUMga kA pAnI denA caahie| chAcha kyoM pilAI ? vaha nahIM denI caahie| abhI to mUMga ke pAnI kI hI z2arUrata thI kyoMki ikatIsa dina kA upavAsa chor3anA thaa| yaha saba kyA hai ? aba to aMdara saba ulTA ho gayA hai| yaha bahuta bar3I bhUla ho gaI hai| taba kahA, 'jo honA thA, samaya Ane para vaha ho gyaa'| yaha jo honA thA vaha ho gyaa| jaina DaoNkTara nahIM Ae aura vaiSNava DaoNkTara A ge| agara pahale jaina DaoNkTara A jAte to... praznakartA : patA cala jAtA ki kyA denA hai| dAdAzrI : hA~... mUMga kA pAnI pilvaate| aura isa vaiSNava DaoNkTara ne to kyA pilavAyA? chAcha pilavA dI, phIke dahI kii| yAnI unheM upavAsa chur3avAnA nahIM aayaa| ramaNa lAla DaoNkTara se aisI bhUla ho gaI, aura ve nimitta bne| aba ve to nimitta mAtra haiN| hama unheM gunahagAra nahIM mAnate haiM lekina bhAI kI jo mRtyu huI na, to ve khuda upavAsa karake mare the| ikatIsa upavAsa karane ke bAda unakI tabiyata bigar3ane kI vajaha se unakI lAipha phela ho gii| 'maiM hU~ pUrva janma kA yogI' aMtima caubIsa ghaMToM meM aisA kahA thA marane se pahale bar3e bhAI do-dina taka bolate rhe| kyA kaha rahe

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[7] bar3e bhAI 215 the? marate samaya kaha rahe the, 'maiM hU~ pUrva janma kA yogii| kisI pApa ke bala se yahA~ para A gyaa'| caubIsoM ghaMTe basa yahI bolate rahate the, aura kucha bhI nahIM bolate the| yAnI ki yogI puruSa the, zIlavAna puruSa the ve to! marate samaya bhI vaise hI tejasvI aura darzanIya dikhAI de rahe the| mujhe to lagatA thA ki ye koI yogI puruSa hoMge! praznakartA : hoMge hI na! dAdAzrI : yogI hI the, maiMne dekhA thaa| zurU se hI kaI taraha ke logoM ko dekhA thA aura hara eka meM kyA vizeSatA hai, vaha mArka karatA rahatA thaa| aura hamAre bar3e bhAI to acche iMsAna the, mahAna yogI puruSa! yogI puruSa yAnI kaise? jo cAhe so kara sakate the, itanA sTroMga mAinDa! aura 'kaise sTroMga iMsAna the ve!' eka dina kahane lage, 'mujhe aba sirpha dUdha para rahanA hai'| to chaH mahIne taka dUdha para rhe| eka dina taya kiyA ki 'hameM to sirpha sabjI para hI rahanA hai'| to chaH mahIne taka sabjI para rhe| bilkula bhI vicalita nahIM hote the| itane sTroMga iMsAna to Apane kisI ne nahIM dekhe hoNge| maiM ina cIjoM meM sTroMga thA hI nhiiN| ve itane sTroMga iMsAna the! ve to bahuta rauba vAle the| yadi kaheM ki cha:-cha: mahIne taka mIThA nahIM khAnA hai to kahate the, 'calo, to aisA hii'| chaH mahIne taka dUdha para rahanA hai, to kahate the, 'calo aisA hI!' kaMTrolara iMsAna the| divAlI bA ne kabhI bhI cAvala vagairaha chauMkakara nahIM khAe the| hamAre maNi bhAI kA svabhAva bahuta tez2a thaa| unheM khAne meM saba zuddha hI cAhie thaa| sAinTiphika tarIke se jIte the phira bhI pacAsa sAla kI umra meM mara gae, divAlI bA usa samaya tIsa sAla kI thiiN|

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[8] bhAbhI [8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba bhAbhI thIM dUsarI bAra kI aura rutabe vAle gA~va kI praznakartA : dAdA, ApakI bhAbhI divAlI bA kauna se gA~va se thIM? dAdAzrI : hamArI bhAbhI gajerA kii| hamArI jo bhAbhI haiM ve dUsarI bAra kI haiM, pahalI bAra kI bhAbhI naDiyAda se thii| pahale naDiyAda meM zAdI kI thI hamAre bhAI ne aura phira gajerA meM zAdI kii| vaha choTA sA gA~va thA lekina bahuta hI rutabe vAlA gA~va thaa| merI bhAbhI bahuta hI samajhadAra thIM lekina ve thIM bahuta hI raubdaar| bhatIjA kahatA thA, 'cAcI hamAre kheta meM gehU~ bahuta uge haiM, do mana bhijavA duuNgaa'| to kahatI thIM 'nahIM bhAI mujhe gehU~ vagairaha nahIM caahie'| ve kisI kA muphta kA nahIM letI thIM, itanI raubadAra thiiN| bhatIje kahate the lekina nahIM letI thiiN| tU 'hA~' kaha, varnA aMbAlAla se zAdI karavA dUMgA hamAre bar3e bhAI pahale vahA~ para zAdI karane ke lie manA kara rahe the| 'maiM zAdI nahIM karU~gA' aisA kahA thA, kyoMki vaha choTA gA~va thaa| taba mere phAdara ne kahA, 'maiMne hA~ kaha diyA hai| merA nAma bacAne ke lie, maiM yaha riztA nahIM todduuNgaa| yadi tU manA karegA to maiM to apane aMbAlAla se zAdI karavA duuNgaa'|

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 217 praznakartA : aMbAlAla se zAdI karavA dUMgA? dAdAzrI : hA~, aisA kahA thaa| praznakartA : una dinoM jubAna kI kImata thI na ! dAdAzrI : vaha khumArI alaga thii| praznakartA : haaN| ApakI zAdI karavA dete divAlI bA se| dAdAzrI : haaN| zAdI karavA dete| praznakartA : Apa unase choTe the phira bhI? dAdAzrI : ve zAdI karavA dete| yoM to jhabera bA bhI mUlajI bhAI se do sAla bar3e the| pahale aisA thA, 'balki vAipha z2arA bar3I ho to acchA thA, (ghara kI) vyavasthA acchI taraha se claaegii'| praznakartA : vyavasthA acchI taraha se calAtI thIM ve| dAdAzrI : bhAI to mujhase bIsa sAla bar3e the aura bhAbhI se unnIsa sAla bar3e the, dUsarI bAra zAdI huI thI islie| praznakartA : to bhAbhI ApakI umra kI hoMgI? dAdAzrI : hA~, merI umra kI, maiM aura ve, donoM eka smaan| ___ bhAI kI vajaha se mahArAnI jaisA rauba tUne dekhA thA? praznakartA : hA~, daadaa| yoM divAlI bA prabhAvazAlI lagatI thiiN| dAdAzrI : bahuta prabhAvazAlI thIM ve| bahuta suMdara thiiN| bA bhI itanI suMdara thIM, bahuta suNdr| pUrA ceharA hI suMdara thaa| divAlI bA bahuta suMdara thiiN| yaha to abhI kor3ha ho gayA haiM unheM / kor3ha hone kI vajaha se| pahale to ekadama gorI thiiN| mahArAnI jaisI dikhAI detI thiiN| hamAre bar3audA ke jogIdAsa viThThala ke muhalle meM jaba ve bAhara nikalatI thIM, to unheM saba 'mahArAnI' kahate the|

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218 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA : unakA aisA rauba par3atA hogA! dAdAzrI : pUre muhalle meM rAnI jaisA rauba rakhatI thiiN| aba unakA itanA rauba nahIM rahA hai lekina taba hamAre bhAI kI vajaha se unakA rauba rahatA thaa| bhAI to mAno jaise rAjA hI the lekina ye mahArAnI kI taraha ghUmatI thIM sAtha-sAtha! muhalle ke loga to unheM 'rAjA aura rAnI' hI kahate the| hamAre bhAI kA bahuta dabadabA thA usa muhalle meM, bahuta rauba thA, isalie unheM 'mahArAnI' kahanA par3atA thaa| 'AIM ! mahArAnI jI' aisA kahate the| bhAI kI vajaha se to unakI kImata bar3ha gaI, varnA bhAbhI kI kyA kImata? bhAI ke nAma para rauba jamAtI thIM, logoM ko DA~TatI rahatI thIM, aisA saba karatI thiiN| praznakartA : bhAbhI ko to bahuta sukha thaa| dAdAzrI : bhAbhI ko bahuta sukha thA, bhAbhI ne bahuta sukha bhogaa| bIsa sAla pati kA sukha bhogA unhoNne| usake bAda vidhavA huiiN| pacAsa sAla se (dAdAzrI kI upasthiti meM divAlI bA 80 sAla kI thIM, taba dAdAzrI unake lie pacAsa sAla kaha rahe haiM) ArAma se jI rahI haiM ve, puNyazAlI strI! hamArI bhAbhI ne jo mahArAnI pada bhogA hai, usakA rauba, vaha sakhtI abhI bhI jAtI nahIM hai na! strI caritra ko pahacAnanA sIkhe bhAbhI se praznakartA : dAdA Apa kaI bAra kahate haiM ki Apa bhole the, lekina bhAbhI se strI caritra ke pATha sIkhe aura strI caritra ko pahacAnane meM Apa maz2abUta hue, to Apane bhAbhI meM aisA to kyA dekhA ki Apako aisA sIkhane milA? dAdAzrI : jaba maNi bhAI jIvita the taba, jaba ve khAnA khAne baiThate the taba hamArI bhAbhI roz2a unase kahatI thIM ki 'Apake binA maiM jI nahIM paauuNgii'| dUsarI bAra zAdI kI thI na! to vaha jor3I kucha alaga taraha kI hotI hai| mujhe mana meM aisA hotA thA ki 'bhAbhI ne yaha pAnI pilA diyaa|

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 219 mujhe cir3ha bahuta thI aisI jAti pr| yAnI ki mere mana meM khaTakA rahA karatA thA, cir3ha macatI thI ki 'ye kaha kyA rahI haiM ? ye strI unheM dabA rahI haiN| ve bAgha jaise, siMha jaise aura ye unheM dabA rahI haiM,' to maiM bahuta cir3hatA thA lekina bar3e bhAI ne to mAna hI liyA ki yaha bAta karekTa hai| trikAla satya kaha rahI haiM ye| kyA mAna liyA? 'agara Apa nahIM hoMge to maiM Apake binA jI nahIM paauuNgii'| bhAI khuza ho jAte the ki 'kitanI acchI strI milI hai! kaisI mahArAnI jaisI milI hai!' unake mana meM aisA thA ki 'ohoho! aisI strI phira se nahIM milegii'| dhIre-dhIre, dhIre-dhIre unhoMne bhAI para cAroM tarapha se jAla DAlakara unheM DarA diyaa| yAnI ki piMjare meM DAle hue bAgha jaise ho gae the bhaaii| unhoMne mere bradara se jo strI caritra khelA, vaha maiMne pakar3a liyaa| maiM to samajha gayA, 'ohoho! strI itanI zAtira!' ___vaha strI roz2a isa taraha pAnI pilAtI rahatI thI, jaise ki bAghina zikAra karane jAtI hai na, usa taraha se| 'Apake binA maiM jI nahIM pAU~gI, maiM nahIM raha paauuNgii'| praznakartA : unase aisA kahatI thIM! siMha jaise bhAI ko kapaTa se banA diyA bakarI dAdAzrI : hamAre ghara meM Akara unhoMne itanA jyAdA badalAva lA diyA, mere bar3e bhAI meM! unhoMne kaise bakarI banA diyA hogA, vaha to Apa jAnate ho na? kapaTa krke| kapaTa karake bhAI ko bakarI banA diyaa| praznakartA : aura kyA kapaTa karatI thIM bhAI se? dAdAzrI : hamArI bhAbhI to pUre dina khAtI rahatI thIM aura phira jaba hamAre bar3e bhAI Ate the na, taba kahatI thIM, "are! maiM kucha khA hI nahIM pAtI hU~!' unhoMne hI mujhe strI jAti kI pUrI vidyA sikhAI, strI critr| hotA alaga hai aura kahatI kucha alaga hai| praznakartA : ThIka hai, daadaa| dAdAzrI : phira jaba mere bhAI kI mRtyu ho gaI taba maiMne bhAbhI se

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220 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) pUchA ki 'bhAI to gae, to Apa kyoM nahIM calI gaIM? Apa kahatI thIM na?' to kahA, 'aise koI maratA hogA? Apa jaao'| praznakartA : 'Apa jAo,' kahatI thIM... dAdAzrI : haM, kapaTa bahuta thA, kapaTa samajha gayA thA maiN| yadi maNi bhAI nahIM hote na to, to tIna minaTa meM sIdhA kara detaa| agara maNi bhAI mujhase kahate ki 'ise sIdhA kara de,' to tIna minaTa meM sIdhA kara detA unheN| jiMdagI bhara ke lie sIdhA kara detA, sArA khela bhUla jAtI lekina merA vahA~ calatA nahIM thA na, to phira vahA~ maiM kyA bola sakatA thA? varnA maiM kaha detA ki 'isase to vaha istrI acchI ki vaha kapar3e to istrI kara detI hai, jabaki yaha strI to kisI kAma nahIM aatii'| pahacAnate the paira se sira taka bhAbhI ko, isalie nahIM Ae gunAha meM praznakartA : dAdA, jaba Apa bhAbhI kA kapaTa samajha jAte the taba phira vyavahAra meM unake sAtha TakarAva ho jAtA thA kyA? dAdAzrI : hA~, eka bAra mere aura unake bIca jhaMjhaTa ho gii| merI aura unakI banatI nahIM thii| ve bolatI rahatI thIM, taba phira unake prati merI vANI kaisI nikalatI? loga bhI samajha jAte the ki sira duHkha jAe aisI yaha vANI niklii| kaisI? sira duHkha jAe, aisii| ve bolatI hI aisA thIM na, to javAba bhI usI taraha ke hote the| kyoMki hamArI bhAbhI mujhe gunahagAra sAbita karane kI koziza karatI rahatI thIM lekina maiM bhAbhI ko paira se sira taka pahacAnatA thA, isalie maiM turaMta kaha detA thaa| mujhe bhI bolanA AtA thA, maiM bole bagaira rahatA nahIM thA na! divAlI bA kahatI thIM, 'Apa bolate ho to merA sira duHkha jAtA hai'| maiMne kahA, 'jaba Apa bolatI ho taba kyA merA sira nahIM duHkhatA hogA?' ve mujhase bhI jyAdA bhArI zabda bolatI thIM, itanA-itanA bolatI thiiN| inheM (hIrA bA ko) bolanA nahIM AtA thaa| ve aura bA donoM hI nahIM bolate the becaare| hama donoM Amane-sAmane khUba bolate the, to bar3e

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 221 bhAI kyA samajhate the ki, 'tU isa taraha se bolatA hai isalie ghara meM aisA hotA hai| mujhe khuda ko bhI patA calatA thA ki, 'are!' yaha to gadhe kA bhI sira duHkha jaae'| gadhe kA kabhI bhI sira nahIM duHkhatA lekina merI vANI aisI nikalatI thI ki usakA bhI sira duHkhane lage to soco ve kaise zabda nikalate hoMge? 'gira jAU~gI sura-sAgara meM', trAgA karake DarAyA bhAI ko praznakartA : Apa donoM ke TakarAva meM bIca meM bhAI kucha bolate the kyA? dAdAzrI : bhAI kucha kahane jAte the na, to bhAbhI trAgA karatI thIM, kapaTa karatI thiiN| unheM jaba kAma karavAnA hotA thA na, to ve hamAre bhAI ko kisa taraha dabAtI thIM, vaha jAnate ho? hamAre bar3e bhAI ko DarAne ke lie kyA kahA unhoMne ? 'mujhe sura-sAgara meM DUbanA par3egA, Apake bhAI kI vajaha se| maiM to calI sura-sAgara meM dduubne|' 'maiM to sura-sAgara meM clii|' aisA kahatI thIM unheM DarAne ke lie| kyoMki buddhi bahuta kAma karatI thI, z2abaradasta kAma karatI thii| aura bhAI rAjA jaise rAjasI svabhAva vAle the, komala the isalie inake z2arA se bhI trAge se ghabarA jAte the becAre! to maNi bhAI ghabarA ge| unheM aMdara bahuta ghabarAhaTa hotI thI, pahalI patnI mara cukI thI na? praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : to una para Aropa lagA thA ki 'inhoMne mAra diyA thaa'| praznakartA : acchA! dAdAzrI : ataH unake mana meM aisA thA ki agara dUsarI bAra bhI aisA ho jAegA to merI kyA dazA hogI? agara aisA kucha ho gayA to mujha para Aropa lgegaa| yaha mara jAegI to bahuta parezAnI hogii| yaha sekanDa mairija thI isalie Dara-Darakara calate the| yAnI ki ve daba gae

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222 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) the| varnA ve kisI se nahIM dbe| ve to aise the ki kisI ko bhI beca deN| yAnI ki 'jaba pahalI patnI mara gaI thI taba to logoM ne mere sira para Aropa mar3hA, aura agara ye dUsarI bAra vAlI bhI mara jAegI to logoM ko pramANa mila jAegA aura Aropa mere sira lgegaa'| aba sahI-galata to bhagavAna jAne, lekina Aropa to lagA thA na! praznakartA : isalie vaha Dara baiTha gayA thA? dAdAzrI : ve mujhase kahate the, 'varnA isa strI kI kyA bisAta?' kalA karake bhAI ko dikhAyA bhAbhI kA kapaTa praznakartA : to phira Dara baiTha gayA thA na? dAdAzrI : hA~, Dara baiTha gayA thaa| phira hamAre bhAI jarA aMdara ThaMDe par3e, taba maiMne kahA, 'Apa baitthie| maiM z2arA bhAbhI ko dhakkA mArakara AtA huuN'| phira bhAbhI se kahA, 'calo na, abhI maiM Apako sura-sAgara taka le jAtA huuN| calo, maiM Apake pIche AtA hU~, vahA~ akele Dara lagegA aapko| Apako akele kUdanA nahIM aaegaa| maiM vahA~ para khar3A rhuuNgaa| yadi ApakI himmata nahIM hogI to maiM Apako dhakkA mAra dUMgA pIche se'| taba unhoMne mujhase kahA, 'Apa giro'| to hamAre bar3e bhAI ne vaha suna liyaa| ___ mujhe to bar3e bhAI ke sAmane bhAbhI se yaha bulAvAnA thaa| tAki hamAre bar3e bhAI dekha leM ki 'yaha strI to khUba hai!' aura balki mere bhAI ko kahatI haiN| isa taraha hamAre bar3e bhAI ke sAmane pepara khula gyaa| bar3e bhAI samajha ge| maiMne apane bar3e bhAI se kahA ki, 'dekhA yaha!' dekho yaha rUpa, yaha sAra dekho, yaha strI caritra dekho| yaha jAti aisI nahIM hai ki kUda pdd'e| koI phAlatU nahIM hai aura agara kUdane ko taiyAra ho jAe to hameM kahanA cAhie ki 'calo, maiM Apako dhakkA mAra duuNgaa'| praznakartA : nahIM kuudegii| puruSoM para dabAva DAlatI hai| dAdAzrI : bahuta pkkii|

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba praznakartA : jise kUdanA ho, vaha kisI se kahatA nahIM hai / dAdAzrI : aisA kyoM kahate haiM ? sAmane vAle para davAba DAlane ke lie| koI bhI nahIM maratA, dekho na ! kyoMki unhoMne paTa rakhA hai bIca meM, aMtara paTa rakhA huA hai / 223 praznakartA : nATaka karate haiM, kamplITa naattk| dAdAzrI : aisA kara dU~gI, aisA kara dU~gI lekina aMdara pardA rakhA thaa| usake bAda hama samajha ge| Akhira meM phira bhAI ko patA cala gyaa| unhoMne jAna liyA ki aMdara ye kapaTa khela rahI haiM / AkhirakAra unheM aisA dikhAI diyaa| dUsarI bAra zAdI karake mUrkha bane praznakartA: dAdA, bhAbhI itanI sTroMga thIM ? dAdAzrI : yaha to, dUsarI bAra kI patnI thIM isalie bahuta tez2a thiiN| dUsarI bAra kI mahArAnI thIM na, isalie hama donoM bhAIyoM ko phaTakAra detI thiiN| brena itanA thA hamArI bhAbhI kA ki bhAI ko DarAkara tela nikAla diyA thaa| pati para davAba hI DAlatI rahatI thiiN| maiM to turaMta samajha jAtA thaa| hamAre bhAI bhI samajha jAte the lekina prema kI vajaha se saba bhUla jAte the| dUsarI bAra zAdI nahIM karanI cAhie lekina loga dUsarI zAdI karake mUrkha banate haiN| usa umra meM bhI bhAI ko mUrkha banAtI thIM! bAhara hamAre bar3e bhAI se sau loga kA~pate the / ve aise vikarAla the, aisI parsanAliTI vAle the| kaise iMsAna ? rAjasI iNsaan| jinakI aisI chAtI thI lekina ve becAre kA~pa gae patnI ke sAmane / rAjA jaise, siMha hI dekha lo na! siMha jaisA pATIdAra thA dikhane meM / siMha jaise pATIdAra ko miTTI meM milA diyA thaa| jinakI A~kheM dekhakara saba titara-bitara ho jAte the, vahI khuda bakarI bana ge| una siMha jaise ko bakarI banA diyaa| ve bAghina kI taraha khar3I rahatI thiiN| mujhe to Azcarya hotA thA ki merA yaha bAgha jaisA bhAI aura ise bakarI banA diyA ?

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224 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) bhAI ko vaza meM karane ke lie karatI thIM tarakIba praznakartA : vaha bAta batAie na dAdA, ApakI bhAbhI ne kucha chupA diyA thaa| dAdAzrI : hA~, chupA diyA thaa| praznakartA : kyA? z2arA vaha bAta batAie na, daadaa| dAdAzrI : hamAre pAsa paisoM kI bahuta kamI thii| una dinoM bhAI para paccIsa haz2Ara kA udhAra ho gayA thA, kaoNnTraikTa ke biz2anesa meN| paise nahIM the to (bhAbhI ko) unase paise mA~gane par3ate the to unhoMne yaha tarakIba kii| ve koyale kI boriyA~ chupA detI thIM, cAvala chupA detI thIM, kucha bhI chupA detI thiiN| phira agara hameM lAne meM dera ho jAtI na, aura hama aisA pUchate ki 'yaha kisameM se banAyA?' taba batAtI thIM, 'par3osa meM se le AIM thodd'aa| to isa taraha idhara-udhara hameM davAba meM rakhatI thiiN| yaha gappa nahIM lagA rahA huuN| naz2aroM se dekhI huI bAta batA rahA huuN| do mana cAvala Upara rakha AtI thiiN| usake bAda kahatI thIM ki 'cAvala le Ao, cAvala nahIM haiN'| ve thAha letI thIM ki bhAI ko kyA hotA hai? taba bhAI kahate, 'tere pAsa pA~ca-pacAsa par3e haiM? sau eka?' aba sau rupae meM kitane Ate, pA~ca rupae bhAva vAle? kitane dina calate? isI taraha se eka bAra kyA kiyA? koyale kI borI unhoMne naukarAnI se Upara caDhavA dI aura hameM kahane lagIM ki 'yaha dekho koyale khatma ho ge'| una dinoM to Der3ha rupae kI eka borI AtI thI lekina do-cAra boriyA~ eka sAtha lAte to lAne kA kirAyA kama lagatA na! taba maiMne kahA, 'Aja to paise nahIM haiM aura ApakI to sabhI boriyA~ khatma ho gaI haiN'| to hamAre bhAI ne kahA, 'are bhAI jA na, udhAra lekara aa'| taba unhoMne kahA, 'maiM Apako dUMgI lekina agara Apa mujhe vApasa de deMge, to'| aura ve to ghara kI seThAnI, to hamAre bar3e bhAI ne kahA, 'are, de

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 225 do na, Apa de do'| taba maiM samajha gayA ki unase paise aiMThane ke lie aisI tarakIba kara rahI haiM isalie, tAki hameM unase lene pdd'eN| lekina bar3e bhAI aura maiM donoM aise nahIM the ki kisI se leN| jo hAtha pasAreM ve koI aura hoNge| maiM phira DhU~Dha nikAlatA thaa| koyale kI borI tIsarI maMz2ila para chupA dI thii| maiMne khuda dekhI thI bAda meM kyoMki mujhe dopahara meM haluvA khAne kI Adata thii| ve jaba bAhara jAtI thIM na, taba maiM apane Apa hI sTova lekara haluvA banAkara khA letA thaa| praznakartA : sekanDa vAipha ke sAtha aisA hI saba hotA hai, dUsarI bAra kI thIM na ve, islie| dAdAzrI : dUsarI bAra kI thIM, isIlie to galata miliiN| dUsarI bAra kI hotI haiM to z2arA aura z2yAdA pucakAra-pucakAra kara rakhate haiN| nahIM to bahuta marda iMsAna the| hamAre bar3e bhAI pharsTa vAipha kI to sunate hI nahIM the| sekanDa vAipha ko mAna dete the hamAre bar3e bhaaii| 'isa sAla hamArA vyApAra aisA cala rahA hai, vaisA cala rahA hai', unheM khuza karane ke lie aisA saba kahate the| aba unheM khuza karake kyA karanA hai? aura 'tumheM koI sAr3I vagairaha cAhie to sAr3I le aa| z2arUrata hai? le, dUsarI le aanaa| sone kI cUr3iyA~ banavAnI haiM? le| hIre kI bUTiyA~ banavAnI haiM ?' kyA unheM aisA batAne kI z2arUrata thI ki 'isa sAla biz2anesa aisA huA, vaisA huA?' jaba nukasAna hogA, taba ve hama para cillaaeNgii| 'Apako biz2anesa karanA nahIM AtA', aisA kheNgii| usa samaya hamArI kyA iz2z2ata rahegI? bhAI bhole the isalie bhAbhI ko hAtha DAlane diyA vyApAra meM maNi bhAI bhole the isalie divAlI bA biphara gae the| usake bAda unhoMne vyApAra meM hAtha DAla diyaa| hama aura hamAre bhAI vyApAra karate the na, to ve isa taraha Akara pUchate the jaise inkama Taiksa oNphisara na hoM, 'kyA huA isameM? isa cIz2a se Apako kitanA lAbha huA? isameM kitanA lAbha huA?' hamArA kaoNnTraikTa kA biz2anesa thA mere bradara ke samaya meN| hamArI

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226 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) bhAbhI bahuta hoziyAra thiiN| ve hama donoM bhAIyoM se hisAba mA~gatI thIM ki 'abhI kyA kamAI cala rahI hai vagairaha, vgairh'| hamAre bar3e bhAI unheM saba batA dete the, dUsarI patnI thIM na islie| mere bhAI bhAbhI se kyA kahate the? Aja kAma kiyA usameM lagabhaga cha: sau rupae mile hoNge| praznakartA : cha: sau rupae! dAdAzrI : haaN| aisA kahate the| aba usa samaya mujhe patA nahIM thA ki yaha saba kahane kA pariNAma kyA AegA! usake bAda phira jaba kAma ThIka se nahIM cala rahA thaa| taba unhoMne kahA, 'pahale to roz2a-roz2a cha: sau lAte the, aba kyoM ThaMDe par3a gae?' maiMne kahA, 'are bhAI! ye bhalA hamAre meM kahA~ hAtha DalavAyA?' ye bhAI bhI khUba haiM na! vyApAra to kabhI cale yA kabhI na bhI cale! maiM hisAba nahIM dUMgA, merI svataMtratA para roka nahIM calegI usake bAda ve mujhase bhI pUchane lagIM, 'hisAba btaao'| maiMne kahA, 'aisA kahA~ se lAe apane ghara meM? aisA hAla kaba se huA?' hamArA koI UparI nahIM hai, aura phira vApasa ye UparI bana baiThI! bar3e bhAI UparIpanA nahIM karate the| ye bar3e bhAI kI DhIla kI vajaha se haiM aura kyoMki bholebhAle iMsAna the, to dUsarI patnI car3ha baiThatI thIM hmeshaa| ye car3ha baiThI thiiN| 'merI svataMtratA para roka nahIM clegii'| maiMne kahA, 'maiM yahA~ para sarvanTa nahIM hU~, maiM to mAlika huuN| maNi bhAI se hisAba lenA', aisA khaa| ve mujhase aisA pUchane lagIM isalie maiMne kaha diyaa| ahaMkAra z2arA bhArI thA na meraa| maiMne kahA, 'maiM hisAba nahIM duuNgaa| biz2anesa meM Apako bilkula bhI hAtha nahIM DAlanA hai| cupa! Apa merI sAhaba bana baiThI ho? yahA~ mere pAsa nahIM clegaa'| bhAbhI kI vajaha se ghara chor3akara bhAga gae praznakartA : dAdA, bhAbhI ke sAtha meM aisI koI ghaTanA huI thI ki

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 227 jisase isa duniyA se ApakA mana uTha gayA aura adhyAtma kI tarapha kA vega khUba bar3ha gyaa| dAdAzrI : hA~, aisI ghaTanA huI thI na! usa ghaTanA meM hamArI bhAbhI nimitta banI thiiN| usameM bhI phira eka bAra bhAI ke sAmrAjya meM bhI hameM vahA~ se bhAga jAnA par3A thaa| hA~, bhAga gayA thA ghara chodd'kr| kahe binA akelA ahamadAbAda calA gayA thaa| rUThA nahIM thA lekina taya kiyA thA ki aba yahA~ nahIM rahanA hai| use rUThanA nahIM kaheMge lekina una saba ko aisA lagA ki yaha rUThakara calA gyaa| maiMne taya hI kara liyA thA ki, 'aba hameM yahA~ para rahanA hI nahIM hai| inake sAtha mela nahIM baiThegA, isa strI ke saath'| ghumA-phirAkara duHkha detI thIM hameM praznakartA : kyA huA thA, dAdA? dAdAzrI : hamArI bhAbhI ke sAtha hamArA matabheda calatA hI rahatA thaa| bar3e bhAI to rAjasI iMsAna the| unakA kaoNnTraikTa kA acchA biz2anesa thA lekina bhAbhI se merA matabheda calatA rahatA thaa| merA dimAg2a z2arA garama thA to bhAbhI ke sAtha TakarAva hotA rahatA thaa| praznakartA : lekina ve aisA kyA karatI thIM? dAdAzrI : kucha bAtoM meM bahuta ar3acana DAlatI thiiN| ve merI z2arUrata kI cIjeM nahIM detI thiiN| mujhe jisa taraha se pAlA-posA thA merI madara ne, usa taraha se nahIM rakhatI thiiN| dUsare Ter3he tarIke apanAtI thIM isalie merA dimAg2a khisaka jAtA thaa| una dinoM to pUrA hI manuSya svabhAva thA na, to acchA-acchA khAne-pIne ko cAhie thA, aura usameM ve rukAvaTa DAlatI thiiN| veDhamI meM z2yAdA ghI letA thA aura bhAbhI detI thIM kama mujhe bA ne alaga hI tarIke se pAlA-posA thA aura ye kucha alaga hI taraha se rakhatI thiiN| kyoMki bA ne acchI taraha se khilAyA

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228 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) pilAyA thA, ghI khAne kI Adata bA ne hI DAlI, isalie zurU se aisI hI Adata thI ki hara cIz2a meM ghI jyAdA cAhie thaa| khAne kA zauka z2arA z2yAdA thaa| veDhamI (pUranapUrI, mIThA parAThA) bahuta bhAtI thI mujhe| jaba veDhamI hotI thI taba z2arA z2yAdA ghI cAhie hotA thaa| bhAbhI jaba veDhamI banAtI thIM na, to mujhe to kaTorI meM ghI kI z2arUrata par3atI thI alaga se, lekina bhAbhI thor3A-thor3A detI thiiN| vaha mujhe acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| ve ghI kama detI thIM to merA dimAg2a khisaka jAtA thaa| maiM bahuta trasta ho jAtA thaa| khAte samaya para hI bhAbhI zikAyata karake saba bigAr3a detIM praznakartA : aisA kyoM karatI thIM bhAbhI? dAdAzrI : yaha to aisA hai ki mujhase bhI judAI rakhatI thIM j'raa| maNi bhAI ko acchA-acchA parosatI thiiN| phira maNi bhAI kahate bhI the ki 'Apa aisA kyoM karatI ho?' taba kahatI thIM, 'nhiiN| unake lie bhI rakhA hai| jitanA cAhie utanA le leM!' aura phira maiM cir3ha ke mAre, gusse ke mAre nahIM letA thaa| hamane aisA saba dekhA nahIM thA na! hamane to aiza se khAyA-pIyA thA, aura phira yahA~ para aisA thA to kaise jamatA? maNi bhAI jAnate nahIM the becaare| agara maiM kahatA to zikAyata ho jAtI, aura palabhara meM unheM nikAla dete, eka hI sekanDa meM! aisI hai yaha pUrI duniyA! mere to dasa sAla bahuta hI kharAba nikale, bhAbhI ke saath| praznakartA : Apako pasaMdIdA cIjeM nahIM detI thIM? dAdAzrI : hA~, jaba bhI veDhamI hotI thI taba mujhe jitanA cAhie hotA thA, utanA ghI to milatA hI nahIM thaa| taba mujhe ThIka nahIM lagatA thA, maz2A nahIM AtA thaa| merA zauka pUrA nahIM hotA thaa| isalie phira roz2a matabheda hote rahate the, jhaMjhaTa hotI rahatI thI aura mujhe gussA AtA rahatA thA lekina agara kismata meM yaha saba sahana karanA likhA thA to karanA hI thA na! cArA hI nahIM thA na! nasIba meM likhA huA kyA nahIM karate loga? kahA~ para likhA huA karate haiM?

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 229 praznakartA : nasIba kA likhA huA karate haiN| dAdAzrI : lekina do cIjeM thii| eka to nasIba meM likhA huA aura phira kalaha / jaba khAnA khAne baiThate the taba bhAbhI roz2a khAne ke samaya para hI bhAI se zikAyateM karatI thiiN| isa taraha bhAI kA khAnA bigAr3atI thIM aura mujhe heDeka ho jAtA thaa| mujhe heDeka ho jAtA thA, kyoMki maiM bar3e bhAI ke prezara meM rahatA thA, maiM eka akSara bhI nahIM bola sakatA thaa| becAre bhAI kA khAnA bigar3atA thA, acche iMsAna kaa| bhAbhI ko isa taraha kalaha karane kI Adata thI! bhAbhI ke vaza meM rahane ke bajAya bhAga chUTo yahA~ se usake bAda eka dina jaba bhAI nahIM the, usa samaya bhAbhI se bahuta hI bolA-cAlI ho gii| usase mujhe mana meM bahuta burA lgaa| taba mujhe aisA lagA ki, 'maiM to aisA hU~ ki bhagavAna ko bhI gAliyA~ huuN| merA gunAha ho to batA do, lekina yaha saba kisalie? kisalie paravaza rahanA hai hameM?' mujhe mana meM aisA huA ki 'are! ina bhAbhI se dabakara rahane ke bajAya to hama svataMtra rahakara khAe~ to acchA, phira cAhe kucha bhI kreN| isalie phira maiMne usa dina taya kiyA ki, Aja to calo, aba yahA~ se cale jAnA hai| aba yahA~ para nahIM rahanA hai hmeN| hamezA ke lie aba alaga biz2anesa kara lenA hai| ina bhAbhI ke sAtha nahIM raha skte| bhAga calo yahA~ se| aba z2arA z2yAdA hI ho gayA hai| eka bhI paisA sAtha meM nahIM rakhA aisI mArailiTI phira bhAI ke sAtha khAnA khAne baitthaa| bhAI khAnA khA rahe the aura maiMne jaldI khAnA khatma kara liyaa| jaldI khAnA khAkara gyAraha baje merA koTa pahanA, una dinoM merI umra teIsa sAla kI thI, lekina laMbA koTa pahanatA thaa| mUla rUpa se kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma thA isalie seThapana to thA na, to bAhara seThapana to mAnA jAegA na! isalie laMbA koTa pahanatA thaa|

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230 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) biz2anesa kaoNnTraikTa kA thA aura kaoNnTraikTa ke kAma para jAtA thaa| isalie hAtha meM paccIsa-pacAsa rupae to rahate the| yoM phira rauba bhI itanA thA! isalie koTa meM jo biz2anesa ke paise par3e hue the na, paccIsa tIsa rupae ve saba noTa nikAlakara chuTTe paise vagairaha saba jo kucha bhI thA, bhAI kI jeba meM rakha die| maiMne apanI jeba meM eka bhI paisA nahIM rkhaa| __kyoMki jaba taka bar3e bhAI ke tahata hU~, to ye paise unhIM ke kahe jaaeNge| paise mere kahalAe~ge hI nhiiN| maoNreliTI una dinoM bhI thii| dekho na, jeba meM jo paise the, ve rakhakara gae hm| unheM mana meM aisA nahIM laganA cAhie ki, 'biz2anesa ke paise le gyaa| ve pIche se Aropa na lgaaeN| unake mana meM aisA laganA cAhie ki 'kucha bhI nahIM liyaa| kucha bhI lie bagaira gayA hai!' to isase unheM hamArI sinsiyariTI dikhegii| bar3e bhAI kI jeba meM paise rakhakara, gyAraha baje koTa pahanakara vahA~ se nikala gayA aura phira rauba se sTezana kI ora claa| ghor3A gAr3I vAlA sTezana kA eka AnA letA thA lekina eka AnA lAU~ kahA~ se? merI jeba meM paise hI nahIM the| kyA karatA? taba calate-calate bar3audA ke sTezana para pahu~ca gyaa| gAr3I calane meM paMdraha minaTa kI derI thii| gAr3I ahamadAbAda jA rahI thii| mA~ganA nahIM AyA to jhUTha bolakara lie paise aba vahA~ sTezana para gayA, to jayaMtI bhAI karake eka paricita mitra mila gyaa| usane kahA, 'kyoM, kahA~ jA rahA hai? bhAdaraNa jAnA hai?' maiMne kahA, 'nahIM bhAI, mujhe kahIM aura jAnA hai| mujhe ahamadAbAda jAnA hai| na jAne jeba badala gaI hai yA kyA, koTa nahIM badalA lekina paise usa jeba meM raha ge'| to unhoMne pUchA, 'kitane rupae cAhie? pA~ca rupae le jaao'| taba maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, pA~ca rupae nhiiN| tere pAsa ekAdha rupayA ho to de| mujhe udhAra caahie'| usase eka rupayA udhAra liyaa'| dosta thA isalie usase eka rupayA udhAra liyA, varnA nahIM maaNgte| mA~ganA nahIM AtA thaa| vaha bhI z2arA jhir3akakara le rahe hoM, usa taraha se nahIM ki 'mujhe rupayA do, aisA nhiiN| 'ekAdha rupayA ho to de do' aisA kahA to usane rupayA diyaa|

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 231 yoM to maiM kisI se nahIM letA, lene kI Adata hI nahIM thii| hAtha phailAnA aura maranA eka jaisA lagatA thaa| nirA jhUTha bolA lekina saca bolakara to mA~ga hI nahIM sakatA thaa| hama kSatriya loga haiM, hamase mA~ga nahIM paate| kisI se mA~ganA ho phira bhI mA~ga nahIM paate| mA~ganA hI nahIM aataa| maiMne agara Apako paise udhAra die hoM, phira bhI mujhe kabhI vApasa mA~ganA nahIM aataa| phira bhale hI maiM bahuta parezAnI meM rhuuN| to isa prakAra kI Adata vAlA iMsAna hU~ maiN| lekina merI sthiti aisI ho gaI thii| pUrI jiMdagI meM, itanI lAipha meM, mujhe usa dina mana meM aisA lagA thA, 'kisI se eka rupayA mA~ganA par3A? yaha bhI koI tarIkA hai?' varnA maiMne taya kiyA thA ki 'ye hAtha phailAne ke lie nahIM haiN| die z2arUra hai, lekina ye hAtha phailAne ke lie nahIM haiN| dete samaya bhI ahaMkAra se nahIM denA hai| usakA hAtha bhI phailAne ke lie nahIM hai, lekina vaha parezAnI nahIM jhela sakatA aura maiM jhela sakatA huuN| jJAna ke bAda nahIM rahA vaha ahaMkAra hAlAMki ye sArI bAteM jJAna hone se pahale kI haiN| usake bAda to jJAnI bana gyaa| aba koI Apatti nahIM hai| bhIkha mA~gane ko rahA hI nahIM na! abhI to agara koI mujhe hAtha phailAne ko kahe to, maiM yahA~ para bhikSA meM bhojana mA~gane bhI jA sakatA huuN| kala agara Apa kaho ki 'dAdA Apa bhikSA lekara Ao' to maiM bhikSA le AU~gA kyoMki abhI to mujhe aisA kucha hai hI nahIM na! abhI to maiM vahA~ jAkara kahU~gA ki 'bahana, eka roTI aura itane cAvala de diijie'| hara jagaha para jAkara pUcha AU~gA, mujhe to koI judAI nahIM hai na! cAhe kahIM bhI jAU~, koI bhI bahana khuza ho jaaeNgii| ve to balki mujhe dekhakara khuza ho jaaeNgii| 'dAdA, phira se Ae~ to acchaa'| z2arUrata lAyaka hI paise lie aba una bhAI ne rupayA nikAlakara diyA aura mujhase kahA, 'aura

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232 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) da~?' maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, nhiiN'| mujhe patA thA ki yahA~ se ahamadAbAda kI lokala kI TikaTa paMdraha Ane haiN| lokala kI hI na, phAsTa-vAsTa kI nhiiN| kama se kama cArja lokala kA thaa| to eka rupayA to hai, hameM aura kyA cAhie? vahA~ jaba sTezana para utareMge taba usa samaya to ujAlA hogA, ujAle meM hI jamanAdAsa ke yahA~ calA jaauuNgaa| praznakartA : jamanAdAsa....? dAdAzrI : hA~, mere dosta jamanAdAsa ke yahA~ jAnA taya kiyA thaa| vahA~ para eka dosta rahatA thaa| aura bhI bahuta jAna-pahacAna thI lekina yaha dosta to khAsa taura para ciTThiyA~ likhatA rahatA thA ki 'eka bAra Apa Aie, Aie,' lekina mere pAsa aisA TAima nahIM thA kyoMki kaoNnTraikTa kA biz2anesa thaa| yaha to bhAga AyA thA isalie unakA naMbara aayaa| helpa kI thI mitra kI, to ve bahuta upakAra mAnate the praznakartA : usa mitra ko Apa para bahuta prema thA? dAdAzrI : aisA hai na, jamanAdAsa kA mere prati itanA bhAva kyoM thA? kyoMki maiMne usakI helpa kI thii| use jaba dukAna lagAnI thI tb| aba vaha helpa bhI kitanI? usake phAdara use ahamadAbAda jAne kA kirAyA nahIM de rahe the, to vaha maiMne de diyA thaa| use ahamadAbAda Ane ke lie usake pitA jI ne cAra Ane bhI nahIM die the| usake pAsa kirAyA nahIM thA, to usa mitra ne mujhase kahA ki 'mujhe ahamadAbAda jAnA hai aura phAdara cAra Ane bhI nahIM de rahe haiN| kirAyA vagairaha kucha bhI nahIM hai| taba maiMne kahA, 'maiM tujhe pA~ca rupae detA huuN| una dinoM ke pA~ca yAnI pA~ca sau ke samAna the| 'pA~ca rupae to bahuta haiN| phira to merA kAma ho jAegA' usane khaa| __ maiMne use die the aura kahA ki 'tU jA, tU apanI taraha se vyApAra kr'| mere pAsa paise-vaise kucha jyAdA nahIM hote the lekina isa taraha se kirAyA vagairaha ke paise de detA thA tb| yoM vaha pA~ca rupae lekara AyA thaa| isalie vaha mitra phira bahuta upakAra mAnatA thaa| isI bAta se ki 'Apane mujhe paise

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 233 die to maiM ahamadAbAda A sakA' aisA kahatA thaa| vaha mujhe bahuta mAnatA thaa| kisI ke yahA~ jAne kI icchA nahIM thI, isalie eDresa hI nahIM rakhatA thA vaha mujhe ciTThiyA~ likhatA rahatA thA, 'yahA~ Aie, yahA~ Aie, yahA~ aaie'| taba maiMne socA, 'calo na vahA~ jAte haiN'| lekina maiM zurU se hI kisI kA eDresa-veDresa nahIM letA thaa| Aja bhI nahIM letA hU~ kyoMki mujhe jAne kI icchA hI nahIM hai kisI ke yhaaN| isalie kisI kA koI eDresa nahIM rakhatA thA, cAhe mitra hoM yA koI aur| ve merA eDresa likha lete the lekina maiM kisI kA noTa hI nahIM karatA thA na! abhI taka noTa nahIM kiyA hai kisI kA bhii| vahA~ jAkara kisI se pUchanA par3e ki ve bhAI kahA~ rahate haiM, to phira kyA hogA? phira mana meM itanA gumAna thA ki, 'mujhe tere eDresa kA kyA karanA hai? mujhe jisa samaya z2arUrata hogI taba mila jaaegaa| mujhe bhalA vahA~ kahA~ jAnA hai? aura agara jAnA hogA to vaha sAmane se lene aaegaa'| isalie usa gumAna meM kisI kA bhI patA (eDresa) nahIM likhA thaa| jiMdagI meM kisI kA bhI eDresa maiMne nahIM likhaa| to usa mitra kA bhI eDresa nahIM liyA thaa| jaba jAe~ge taba mila jaaegaa| aba usa dina maiM muzkila meM par3a gyaa| yaha to pha~sAva ho gayA phira bhI mana meM aisA taya kiyA ki dina kI gAr3I hai na, to koI harja nahIM hai| dopahara kI gyAraha baje kI gAr3I hai, yaha to cAra ghaMTe meM pahu~ca jAegI isalie phira dina ke ujAle meM DhU~Dha leMge, pahu~ca jAe~ge 'DhAla kI pola' (ahamadAbAda kA eka muhllaa)| vahA~ se gyAraha baje kI gAr3I se nikalA tAki dina meM pahu~ca jAe~, to ghUma-phirakara use DhU~Dha nikaaleNge| yadi pAsa meM paise hote to ghor3A gAr3I vAle se bhI kaha sakate the ki 'bhAI usa muhalle meM le jaa'| sirpha muhalle kA nAma hI jAnatA thaa| TikaTa kA cArja bar3ha gayA isalie pha~sa gayA phira maiM eka rupayA lekara ahamadAbAda kI TikaTa lene gyaa| una

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234 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dinoM aisI kyU (katAreM) nahIM hotI thI, jaba jAte taba khir3akI khulI hI milatI thI aura koI lene vAlA bhI nahIM hotA thaa| kyU vagairaha to bAda meM lagane lgiiN| taba merI umra ikkIsa-bAIsa sAla thI, to kitane sAla pahale kI bAta hai yaha? bAvana sAla pahale kI bAta hai na... praznakartA : hA~, 1930 kii| dAdAzrI : bolo, aba bAvana sAla pahale hindustAna kitanA suMdara rahA hogA! maiM TikaTa lene gayA bar3audA se ahamadAbAda kI lekina huA kucha vicitr| aba sthiti badala gii| TikaTa mAsTara jI ne kahA ki 'bhAI, eka rupae nahIM calegA, eka AnA aura caahie| cArja bar3ha gayA hai, sarakAra ne kirAyA bar3hA diyA hai| paMdraha Ane thA usake bajAya aba eka rupayA, eka AnA kara diyA hai'| are! yaha kyA phaz2ItA? maiMne samajhA ki eka AnA bacegA, to rAste meM usase cAya-pAnI vagairaha pIe~ge to bahuta ho jAegA apane lie| aba eka AnA kahA~ se lAte? maiMne kahA, 'ruko, maiM chuTTe karavAkara lAtA huuN| aba agara dUsarA eka AnA aura hotA taba detA na? phira dUsarA vicAra AyA ki agara eka AnA lAe to TikaTa to mila jAegI lekina phira bhAI sAhaba ko ciTThI kaise likheMge?' una dinoM do paise kA AtA thA posttkaardd| maiMne kahA, 'kahA~ se lAU~ aba?' akla calAkara nikAlA rAstA aba aisI sthiti A gaI thii| aba eka AnA kahA~ se lAte? aba kisase mA~gate? aura koI paricita dikhAI nahIM diyaa| ve bhAI to cale gae the, jo z2yAdA paise de rahe the ve| aba kyA ho sakatA thA? aba ahamadAbAda jAnA hai aura yahA~ para to rAta ko ruka nahIM sakate the, to, 'Aja kI gAr3I meM hI jAnA hai'| phira dUsarI eka gAr3I thI lekina vahA~ pahu~cane meM rAta ho jaatii| ahamadAbAda pahu~cane meM rAta ho jAtI to phira dosta ke vahA~ kaise jAtA? pahu~catA kaise? phira eka bAta suujhii|

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 235 isalie phira akla claaii| akla acchI thI, to akla se kahA, 'tU kyA kahatI hai ?' to usane kahA, 'aisA karo na, TikaTa ke binA baiTha jAo yahA~ se aura vAsada kA sTezana mAsTara apanI jAna-pahacAna vAlA hai, vahA~ utarakara vahA~ se TikaTa le lenA to do Ane baca jaaeNge'| to aMdara aisI bAta sUjhI ki 'bhAI, yoM hI gAr3I meM baiTha jAo n'| phira maiMne kahA, 'rahane do, hameM TikaTa hI nahIM lenI hai| yoM hI baiTha jAo vAsada se TikaTa le leNge| do-tIna Ane kA itanA rAstA to kaTa jAegA na!' binA TikaTa ke, khudAbakSa kI taraha ataH vahA~ phira hamane taya kiyA ki 'Aja to relave kI corI kro'| kyoMki aba mere pAsa eka AnA bhI nahIM mila sakatA thA aura gAr3I meM jA nahIM sakate the, 'usake bajAya gAr3I meM baiTha jAo na, jo hogA dekhA jaaegaa'| to isa taraha akla kA upayoga kiyA, to binA TikaTa ke khudAbakSa kI taraha baiTha gae the gAr3I meN| praznakartA : phira Apa vAsada taka binA TikaTa A gae? dAdAzrI : hA~! binA TikaTa A gae, 'khudAbakSa'! vaha khudAbakSa nAma bhI kisI ne nahIM rakhA thA kyoMki usa samaya nAma rakhane vAle ko bhI akla nahIM thI ki ise kyA kahate haiM? jo binA TikaTa ke jAte haiM unheM kyA kahate haiM ? unakA nAma rakhane vAlA bhI koI nahIM thaa| koI akla vAlA hotA to nAma rakhatA na? phira jaba bahuta bar3ha gae to use 'khudAbakSa' nAma de diyaa| khudA dvArA bakSe hue!' una dinoM TikaTa nahIM lenI hotI thI to TaoNyaleTa meM baiThe rahate the| TheTha muMbaI taka jAte the taba bhI TaoNyaleTa meM, bAhara hI nahIM nikalate the| eka bAra to pA~ca rupae ke lie ruke rahe the| pA~ca rupae kahA~ se lAte? pA~ca rupae to bahuta bar3I cIz2a thii| becAre sTezana mAsTara jI ke mahIne kI tanakhvAha hI sAta rupae thii| TikaTa kI corI karane se bace do Ane usake bAda vahA~ se maiM do-tIna sTezanoM taka binA TikaTa ke baitthaa|

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236 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) phira vAsada sTezana para utarA, do Ane bcaakr| vAsada sTezana ke sTezana mAsTara jI paricita the isalie koI parezAnI nahIM thii| una sTezana mAsTara jI ne kahA, 'abhI kahA~ se Ae?' maiMne kahA, 'ghara se aayaa'| maiMne kahA, 'mujhe ahamadAbAda kI TikaTa diijie'| to vahA~ para eka rupae diyA, to mujhe TikaTa de dii| do-eka Ane bace, vaha jo corI kI thI na islie| vahA~ para eka rupae meM do Ane kama lie| isalie mere pAsa do Ane baca ge| vAsada meM khAe pakaur3e aura pI cAya phira vAsada meM eka jagaha eka paricita pakaur3e vAlA thaa| vaha hoTala vAlA thA vhaaN| mujhe pakaur3e khAne kA zauka thaa| khAnA khAkara nikalA thA lekina aba do-DhAI baja cuke the isalie phira bhUkha to lagatI hI na! to vahA~ para jAkara phira dopahara ko eka Ane ke pakaur3e khA AyA, zauka thA, islie| jaba khA liyA taba jAkara saMtoSa huA aura phira do-eka paise kI cAya vagairaha pii| una dinoM Adhe Ane (tIna paise) meM dete the| usake bAda bAhara nikalakara do paise kA eka posTakArDa liyA, to do paise usameM kharca ho ge| iz2z2ata na jAe isalie bhAI ko likhA posTakArDa posTakArDa likhA bar3e bhAI ko| maiMne socA, 'varnA AbarU jaaegii'| kala subaha kaheMge ki, 'itanA bar3A bIsa-bAIsa sAla kA lar3akA bhAga gyaa'| to apanI kyA iz2z2ata rahatI phira? maiM to bar3A kaoNnTraikTara kahA jAtA thA na! merA kaoNnTraikTa kA biz2anesa thA aura agara 'bhAga gayA' kahate, to merI kyA iz2z2ata rahatI? isalie ciTThI to likhanI cAhie ki 'maiM isa jagaha para jA rahA hU~,' varnA gA~va meM DhU~Dha maca jAegI ki 'bhAI, tAlAba meM gira gayA, mara gayA yA kyA ho gayA,' aisI jhaMjhaTa ho sakatI thI na? usI dina ciTThI likha lenI cAhie tAki phira DhU~Dhane na lgeN|

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba phira ghara para bradara ko likhA ki 'maiM rUThA nahIM hU~, bhAga nahIM gayA hU~ aura calA bhI nahIM gayA hU~, aura phira mujhe ApakI tarapha se koI duHkha bhI nahIM hai lekina merI aisI icchA hai yA phira zAyada merA prArabdha badalA hai| maiM aba ahamadAbAda jAkara kucha kruuNgaa| maiM bhAga nahIM rahA hU~, lekina merI icchA hai ki aba mujhe ahamadAbAda meM sTeDI (sthira) honA hai, mujhe koI biz2anesa karanA hai / ataH merI ciMtA mata karanA, mujhe DhU~DhanA bhI mata' / ahamadAbAda jA rahA hU~ itanA likhA, kisake yahA~ jA rahA hU~ aisA nahIM likhaa| 'maiM ahamadAbAda meM hU~, isalie Apa mujhe khojanA mata' aisI ciTThI likha dii| 237 praznakartA : to usa samaya gussA nahIM thA / Apane hI posTakArDa likhA na ? dAdAzrI : hA~, vahA~ para posTakArDa likhA / praznakartA : yaha pUrA sUjha vAlA kAma hai| dAdAzrI : posTakArDa likha diyA to agale dina vahA~ sabhI ko zAMti ho gaI, varnA ghabarAhaTa ho jAtI sabhI ko, mUrkha kahalAte hm| vaha to aisA thA ki bhAI kA ojasa (tApa) mujhase sahana nahIM hotA thA isalie unase Amane-sAmane nahIM kaha sakA / varnA unheM kahakara nikalatA lekina unake sAmane kahane meM to ghabarA jaataa| unakA ojasa hI aisA thA / isalie bAda meM ciTThI likhanI pdd'ii| phira baiTha gayA gAr3I meM / puNyazAlI isalie cAya ke samaya para cAya mila gaI aba ANaMda sTezana para utarA to eka paricita mila ge| mujhase kahA, 'kahA~ jAne kI taiyArI hai ?' maiMne kahA, 'ahamadAbAda kii'| to unhoMne kahA, 'Aie, padhArie / binA cAya - vAya pIe nahIM jA sakate aap| cAya pIkara jaao'| maiMne kahA, 'calo, calate haiM / cAya-vAya pIte haiN| z2arUrata thI aura vaidya ne kahA ' / ANaMda sTezana para pA~ca-sAta paricita mitra mila ge| sabhI cAya

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238 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) pI rahe the| phrenDa sarkala thA na, to saba ke sAtha cAya pii| yoM Ama taura para aisI Adata nahIM thI ki bahuta logoM ke sAtha milakara cAya pIe~, lekina usa dina to khuza hokara cAya pii| vahA~ cAya pIne ke bAda unhoMne kahA, 'thoDA nAztA vagairaha bhI kro'| to maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, nAztA to abhI nahIM ho skegaa| mujhe to yaha parezAnI hai ki gAr3I rAta ko phuNcaaegii'| kyoMki vaha gAr3I to calI gaI thI isalie dUsarI gAr3I meM baiThanA pdd'aa| dopahara kI cAya kI z2arUrata thI to vaha mila gaI, cAya ke TAima para cAya mila gii| merA kyA kahanA hai ? puNyazAlI haiM na! hara kahIM para cAya-nAztA mila jAtA hai! phira vApasa baiTha gae gAr3I meM, to TheTha a~dherA hone taka zAma ko cha:-sAta baje gAr3I vahA~ phuNcii| kyoMki pahalI vAlI gAr3I se utara cuke the, phira dUsarI gAr3I meM baiThanA par3A isalie rAta ko gAr3I se utaranA huaa| maiM rAta ko ahamadAbAda phuNcaa| paise nahIM, eDresa nahIM, mitra ke yahA~ pahu~cU~ kaise? rAta ko vahA~ ahamadAbAda sTezana para utraa| una dinoM sTezana aise the ki AsapAsa khAsa bastI nahIM hotI thI koii| aba makAna DhU~DhanA thA, eDresa thA nhiiN| kAna meM thor3A baharApana thaa| praznakartA : dAdA, una dinoM bhI bahare the, bAIsa sAla kI umra meM? dAdAzrI : thor3A baharApana to thA hii| praznakartA : zurU se hI? dAdAzrI : z2arA bahare to the isalie mujhe huA ki agara vaha kahegA ki 'isa tarapha hai| abhI kahA~ se A rahe haiM?' to phira aisA hogA na ki maiM samajha nahIM pAU~gA? isalie phira aisA huA ki ghor3A gAr3I meM baiTha jAU~, una dinoM ghor3A gAr3I calatI thii| una dinoM rikzA vagairaha kucha bhI nahIM thA, sirpha ghor3A gAr3iyA~ hii| gAr3iyA~ nahIM, bahuta loga bhI nahIM the|

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 239 aba usake ghara jAne ke lie ghor3A gAr3I meM kucha paise kharca karane par3ate aura usa samaya to paise nahIM the, to ghor3A gAr3I meM kaise jAtA? paise nahIM the, aba kyA karatA? kirAe ke paise nahIM the| __ itane meM to a~dherA ho gyaa| maiM soca meM par3a gayA ki 'do Ane bhI nahIM haiM ghor3A gAr3I meM jAne ke lie,' varnA ghor3A gAr3I vAle se kahatA ki, 'bhAI, mujhe DhAla kI pola para utAra', to vaha becArA vahA~ utAra detaa| mujhe itanA hI yAda thA ki DhAla kI pola (muhallA) meM hai lekina mujhe yaha nahIM mAlUma thA ki vahA~ kisa taraha jAnA hai| sirpha pola kA nAma hI yAda thA, aura kucha bhI patA nahIM thA mujhe| pola meM pahu~cane ke bAda, maiM turaMta DhU~Dha nikAlatA lekina paise hote to ghor3A gAr3I meM baiTha pAtA na? aba eDresa nahIM thA, jeba meM paise nahIM the, aba soU~ kahA~ ? rahU~ kahA~? isalie makAna DhU~Dhe binA koI cArA hI nahIM thA, ghara kA patA nahIM thA phira bhii| usa dina patA calA ki 'agara yaha patA noTa kara liyA hotA to acchA thA lekina patA hI noTa nahIM kiyA thA na! jiMdagI meM patA noTa karane kI Adata hI nahIM thI, prakRti hI nahIM thI aisii| mujhe kabhI bhI z2arUrata hI nahIM par3I thI kisI ke yahA~ jAne kii| aura agara z2arUrata hotI to paise lekara nikalatA to ghor3A gAr3I, gAr3I vagairaha saba sAdhana the| phira mujhe kyA parezAnI? yAnI ki patA nahIM likhatA thA, aura usI dina aisA ho gayA, binA pate ke kaise pahu~catA? ghor3A gADI bhI kaise karatA? paise nahIM the na! isalie phira maiM paidala calane lgaa| koI bhI sAtha meM nahIM thA, koI bhI nhiiN| binA pate ke hoziyArI se DhUMDha nikAlA ghara phira socate-socate huA aisA ki daravAjoM (ahamadAbAda zahara ke parakoTe ke daravAz2e) ke bhI nAma nahIM jAnatA thaa| kyoMki aisI kucha par3I hI nahIM thI isa daravAz2e para yaha hai yA phalAnA hai| aise, jaise ki kala yaha kAma hI nahIM AegA aura jaise nirbhaya sthAna para nahIM ghUma rahe

Page #305
jJAnI puruSa (bhAga - 1) hoM, aisA saba thA / kisI kA bhI naMbara - vaMbara vagairaha nahIM rakhatA thA / taba phira isa tarapha calA to eka daravAz2A DhU~Dhakara, usa daravAz2e meM ghusa gyaa| phira nAma jAna liyA daravAz2e kA / phira calate-calate rAste meM kucha bhI nahIM milaa| phira huA ki aba yaha ghara kahA~ DhU~DhU~ aura isa sardI meM yaha saba kaise ho pAegA? isa taraha to pUrI rAta ghUmatA rahU~gA phira bhI nahIM milegaa| hama ahamadAbAda ke gAiDa nahIM haiM / ahamadAbAda zahara meM ghUmA nahIM thaa| ahamadAbAda ke rAste nahIM jAnatA thA / zAyada do-cAra bAra hI gayA thA, bahuta bAra nahIM gayA thA / 240 phira buddhi se socA ki yaha mitra koyale kA vyApArI hai isalie kucha aisA rAstA DhU~Dha nikAleM ki ve kahA~ mileMge ! hA~, una dinoM kI akla kI bAta batA rahA hU~ ki merI akla kyA kAma kara rahI thI usa dina / aMdara briliyansI to thI na ! to TailI kara letA thA ki bhale hI isakA eDresa nahIM hai, lekina vaha iMsAna koyale kA vyApAra karatA hai to ise kauna pahacAnatA hogA ? to aMdara akla e khudA ne btaayaa| kahA ki, 'koyale kA vyApAra karatA hai to hoTala vAle use pahacAnate hoNge| sabhI hoTala vAle usake grAhaka hoNge'| praznakartA: hA~, koyale kharIdane vAle / dAdAzrI : isalie hamane hoTala vAle se pUchA / koI hoTala vAlA jAnakAra mila AegA / koI hoTala vAlA to usakA paricita nikalegA / hama hoTala vAle se pUchate-pUchate jAe~ge to kucha ho paaegaa| to rAste meM jAte-jAte hoTala vAle se pUchane lage ki 'bhAI, jamanAdAsa paTela karake koyale ke vyApArI haiM, kyA Apa unheM pahacAnate haiM?' aisA karate-karate ATha dasa hoTaloM para puuchaa| sAta-ATha logoM ne kahA ki 'nahIM, bhAI hama nahIM pahacAnate' / isa taraha eka-eka hoTala para pUchate-pUchate gae taba eka hoTala vAle ne kahA ki 'hA~, pahacAnate haiM / Apa kaho to Apako vahA~ chor3ane Ae~ / jamanAdAsa karake haiM, DhAla kI pola meN'| maiMne kahA, 'DhAla kI pola kahA~ hai ?' to kahA, 'DhAla kI pola yahA~ naz2adIka hI hai| aba yahA~ se hokara isa rAste para se sIdhe cale

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 241 jAie Apa, usa tarapha se'| mujhe rAstA dikhA diyaa| eDresa vagairaha saba likhavA liyA aura maiM vahA~ pahu~ca gyaa| praznakartA : yoM to sAdhAraNa vAkya hai yaha ki ghara chor3akara gae, aura una bhAI se eDresa nahIM liyA thA ahamadAbAda kaa| Apa kahate haiM ki 'eDresa to maiM kisI kA nahIM letA thA, mujhe kisI kI z2arUrata hI nahIM thii| dAdAzrI : mujhe z2arUrata nahIM thI, eDresa hI nahIM letA thA na! kisI kA bhI eDresa nahIM likhatA thaa| koI agara likhakara detA thA to vaha bhI kho jAtA thA mere pAsa se| praznakartA : aura agara z2arUrata hotI thI, aba z2arUrata par3I una bhAI kI to kisa taraha vahA~ pahu~canA hai, usakI sUjha bhI A gii| dAdAzrI : hA~, usakI sUjha utpanna ho gii| praznakartA : usa hoTala vAle se pUchA ki 'bhAI, yaha koyale vAlA kahA~ rahatA hai?' dAdAzrI : hA~, koyale kA biz2anesa karatA thA na, isalie maiMne hisAba lgaayaa| sUjha par3I ki 'yaha kisI hoTala vAle se puucho'| phira unhoMne btaayaa| isa taraha aisI sUjha par3atI hai| ghUmatA-phiratA thA, bAteM karatA thA lekina bodhakalA vAlA jIvana thaa| isa bodhakalA kI vajaha se DhAla kI pola mila gaI, varnA kyA gharaghara pUchane jA sakate haiM ki hamAre mitra koyale ke vyApArI haiM unheM pahacAnate ho? dhanya bhAgya hamAre ki Apa hamAre ghara Ae DhAla kI pola pahu~cA aura unake ghara gyaa| nIce se AvAz2a lagAI ki 'jamanAdAsa, jamanAdAsa, jamanAdAsa hai kyA?' to jamanAdAsa to sunakara bahuta khuza ho gae ki 'oho! mere yahA~ Ae haiM ! vaha to itanA utsAhita thA, bahuta hI khuza ho gyaa| kyoMki maiM jAtA nahIM thA na !

Page #307
242 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) usane kalpanA bhI nahIM kI hogI ki Ae~ge! usane aisI AzA hI nahIM rakhI hogI na kabhI! vaha bhAgate-bhAgate nIce AyA, donoM jane nIce aae| 'dhana bhAgya hamAre ki Apa hamAre yahA~ Ae! hamAre AnaMda kI koI sImA nahIM hai'| vaha to ekadama hI dravita ho gayA usa dina, bahuta hI prema jatAyA usa din| aba unhoMne aisA samajhA ki khuzI se Ae hoMge! maiM kaise AyA thA, vaha maiM hI jAnatA thaa| maiMne kahA, 'acchA huA, lekina bhAI pahale khAnA nikaal| khAnA khAne ke bAda bAteM kreNge'| phira, khAnA taiyAra rahA hogA to unhoMne parosa diyaa| phira khAnA khAkara, phira jaba ArAma se sone gae taba maiMne batAyA, 'maiM yahA~ rahane AyA huuN| maiM pha~sakara yahA~ AyA hU~, yoM hI nahIM AyA huuN| maiM bhAgakara A gayA huuN'| taba kahA, 'lekina aisA kyoM kara rahe ho?' maiMne kahA, 'merI bhAbhI ke sAtha nahIM banatI hai| pUrva janma kA hisAba alaga taraha kA hai| sukha meM se DhU~DhA duHkha, saMDAsa meM bhI kyU usake bAda phira subaha-subaha saMDAsa ke sAmane dasa-paMdraha logoM kI lAina lagI thii| maiMne kahA, 'are! bhalA ho isa zahara kA! yaha maiMne kyA dekhA? yaha kahA~ se milA mujhe ?' lekina jAU~ kahA~ ? ghara se bhAgakara Ae the| aba bhAI! isameM bhI duHkha hai Apako! bAkI saba jagaha para duHkha ho to ThIka hai, yahA~ bhI duHkha hai Apako? jisane julAba liyA ho usa becAre kA kyA hogA? haM? bhale hI itane sAre sukha haiM ina logoM ko, lekina usa sukha meM hI mujhe duHkha mahasUsa huaa| dekho yaha khoz2a kI hai ina logoM ne, sukha meM bhI duHkha DhU~Dha nikAlA! kisameM duHkha DhU~Dha nikAlA? praznakartA : sukha meM duHkha DhU~Dha nikaalaa| dAdAzrI : nahIM, sukha kI vajaha se du:kha milaa| behisAba sukha hai yahA~ abhii| ye saMDAsa baMda kara deM aura kaheM ki jo jaldI uThakara sAr3he

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 243 pA~ca baje AegA, usI ko jAne kI chUTa hai, to kitane loga jaldI uTha kara jAe~ge? praznakartA : sabhI jaaeNge| dAdAzrI : haM, Apako samajha meM AyA na? sarakAra ne usa taraha se baMda nahIM kiyA hai, usa vajaha se sukha hai yh| ___ to mujhe kyU meM jAkara khar3A rahanA pdd'aa| unhoMne mujhe kahA, 'thor3I dera, pA~ca minaTa khar3A rahanA pdd'egaa'| maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, eka minaTa bhI nahIM, maiM bAda meM vApasa aauuNgaa'| isa samaya mujhe saMDAsa nahIM jAnA hai isase to behatara hai yoM hI baiThA rahU~gA! hameM isa taraha saMDAsa nahIM jAnA hai| hA~! agara kabz2a ho jAegA to paraso cUrana le luuNgaa| yaha nahIM pusAegA hameM!' yaha kaise pusAtA? vahA~ khar3e rahakara kisa cIz2a kI rAha dekha raha ho? are! ghanacakkara kyA isakI bhI kImata hai ? saMDAsa kI kImata itanI bar3ha gaI! to bhAI yahA~ para bhI aisI bhIr3a-bhAr3a! are, laoNja meM kImata bar3ha gaI ho to ThIka hai, yahA~ bhI kImata bar3ha gaI? are! mujhe to zarma A rahI thI! __ kyU meM to maiM khAnA khAne ke lie bhI khar3A na rhuuN| usake bajAya to yoM hI, 'are! terI roTI tere ghara para hI rahane de| thor3e cane khA luuNgaa| agara tU mujhe mokSa de rahA hai to cala khar3A rahU~gA, rAta dina khar3A rahU~gA kyU meM!' isameM bhI kyU! praznakartA : sonApura (zamazAna) meM bhI kyU lagatI hai| dAdAzrI : marate samaya phira se kyU? kitanI nimnatA hai yaha ! maiMne to ahamadAbAda meM aisA saMDAsa dekhA, to cir3ha gayA ki aisA jaMgalIpana ! ___Age lallU bhAI khar3e hoM, pIche nagIna seTha khar3e hoN| unake pIche nagIna seTha kI seThAnI khar3I hoN| seThAnI-seTha, Apa donoM saMDAsa ke lie Ae ho? aura kyU meM khar3e ho? are, kaise ghanacakkara ho? kaisI zarmiMdagI vAlI bAta hai, kyU meM khar3A rahanA par3atA hai! zarmanAka lagatA hai! ahamadAbAda ke saba seTha dekhe haiM maiNne| jaba unake oNphisa meM baiThe

Page #309
jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) hoM taba loga aise-aise karate haiM ( salAma karate haiM) aura vahA~ kyU meM khar3e rahate haiM DibbA lekara! are ! yaha zarmanAka nahIM kahalAegA kyA? aisA to kyA acchA dikhAI detA hai ? isake bajAya to agara kabz2a ho jAegA to julAba ke lie phaMkI le leNge| hameM to kudaratI rUpa se kabhI kyU milI hI nahIM yaha hameM nahIM pusaaegaa| jo kyU meM khar3e rahate haiM, unheM to sAmAnya janatA kahate haiN| jinakA khuda kA svamAna jaisA kucha bhI nahIM hai, vaha to sAmAnya janatA kahalAtI hai ! jisa taraha bher3a-bakariyoM ko lAina meM khar3e rakhate haiM, usa taraha se ye bher3eM khar3I rahatI haiM ! hameM to kudaratI rUpa se kabhI kyU (katAra) milI hI nahIM ! kyA aisA zobhA detA hai ? kyA vahA~ para aMdara triloka nAtha baiThA huA hai ? 244 Apake yahA~ para abhI bhI yaha cala rahA hai ? pUre muMbaI zahara kI iz2z2ta jAegI! lekina bAkI saba jagaha para bhI aisA hI hai na ? praznakartA : saba jagaha caoNla sisTama meM aisA hI calatA hai / dAdAzrI : dekho! aba becAre iMsAna kA svAbhimAna kitanA Ahata ho rahA hai| kyA ise svamAna kaheMge ? saMDAsa jAne kI bhI svataMtratA nahIM hai? jaba jAnA ho taba jA nahIM sakate ! mujhe to bahuta taraha ke vicAra A jAte haiM ki yaha kisa taraha kA hai ? itanI kImata bar3ha gaI isa cIz2a kI ! jisameM hAtha kAle hoM vaha kAma merA nahIM praznakartA : phira kyA huA ? dAdAzrI : mere mitra ne kahA ki, 'mere koyale ke vyApAra meM Apako pArTanara kI taraha rkheNge| apane yahA~ para koyale kI dukAna meM pArTanarazipa' / maiMne kahA, 'nahIM bhAI, koyale kA vyApAra merA nahIM hai| jisameM hAtha kAle hoM vaha vyApAra merA nahIM hai / jahA~ koyalA ho vahA~ merA kAma nahIM hai / kyA mere hAtha koyale jaise haiM? maiM to kaoNnTraikTa ke biz2anesa vAlA iMsAna

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 245 huuN| hama to apane kaoNnTraikTa ke biz2anesa meM hI ThIka haiN| yaha biz2anesa mujhase nahIM ho paaegaa| tere sAtha kucha aura bAtacIta kruuNgaa'| isalie phira usane baMda rkhaa| __maiMne yojanA banAI ki koyale kI dalAlI apanI lAina hai hI nhiiN| yaha kAma to vahI kare, merA kAma nahIM hai| yaha vyApAra mujhe zobhA nahIM degaa| una dinoM aMdara aisA ahaMkAra thA ki maiM apanA vyApAra khuda DhU~Dha nikaaluuNgaa| aura mujhe to vaha AtA thA kyoMki mujhe zurU se hI hara eka cIz2a calA lene kI Adata thI, lekina aham thA ki 'maiM kucha hU~' aMdara aisA bhAna thaa| kaoNnTraikTa ke kAma meM sarvisa nahIM karanI par3atI, isalie banAI yojanA aba kyA karanA cAhie? yahA~ kisI ke ghara para khAne ke lie par3e nahIM rahanA hai| isalie phira maiMne taya kiyA ki kisI kaoNnTraikTara ko DhU~Dha nikaalo| phira kaoNnTraikTara ko DhU~Dha nikaalaa| maiM subaha vahA~ jAkara eka vyakti se pUcha aayaa| mujhe to apanI lAina meM jAnA thaa| kuzalatA thI vyApAra karane kI lekina vaha seTha to mujhase naukarI karavAnA cAhatA thaa| taba maiMne eka yojanA bnaaii| kaoNnTraikTara se kahA, 'bhAI! sarvisa to maiM kabhI bhI nahIM karU~gA aura vaha karane nahIM AyA huuN'| sarvisa to maiM karU~gA nhiiN| pahale se niyama hI aisA banAyA hai| kisI ke vahA~ sarvisa karane ke lie janma nahIM liyA thA isalie sarvisa to nahIM kruuNgaa| kaoNnTraikTa ke kAma meM hoziyAra thA, brena acchA calatA thaa| phrI kAma karU~gA, taba phira vaha mujhe nahIM chor3egA maiMne kahA ki 'bhAI, maiM Apake yahA~ phrI oNpha kaoNsTa kAma kruuNgaa| Apako jaba ThIka lage taba mujhe pArTanarazipa denA aura jaba taka ThIka

Page #311
246 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) nahIM lage taba taka mata denaa| Apa mujhe apanA yaha kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma sauMpa do| jo bhI kAma sauMpoge, usakI pUrI z2immedArI merii| Apako nahIM AnA hai, Apake usa kaoNnTraikTa kA saba kAma maiM kara duuNgaa| Apa mujhe kAma sauMpa do phira agara Apako apanA kAma sahI salAmata lage aura ApakI kamAI ho to Apako mujhe jo parasanTeja denA ho vaha denaa| agara kamAI nahIM ho to mata denaa| maiM khuda ke kharca para rhuuNgaa| Apa de sako to denA aura nahIM de sako to calegA lekina mujhe pArTanarazipa meM rahanA hai| Apako mujhe pArTanarazipa meM lenA pdd'egaa'| kyoMki maiM jAnatA thA ki tIna mahIne bAda vaha kyA karegA? vaha mujhe chor3egA hI nhiiN| acchA suparaviz2ana karanA AtA hai isalie ve khuza ho jaaegaa| aisI kuzalatA thI mujha meN| maiM jAnatA thA ki hama zurU se hI, yoM hI phrI oNpha kaoNsTa raheMge, to phira vaha apane Apa hI mujhe jAne nahIM degA aura naukarI karane kI bAta hI nahIM rhegii| maiM ApakA sarvenTa nahIM balki pArTanara kI taraha rahU~gA praznakartA : naukarI nahIM pusAtI isalie Apane usase sApha-sApha kaha diyA? dAdAzrI : hA~, isalie maiMne usase kaha diyA ki, "dekho Apake kaoNnTraikTa ke biz2anesa meM 'AI vila helpa yU!' maiM Apake pArTanara kI taraha jInA cAhatA hU~, sarvenTa kI taraha nhiiN| mujhe Apase kucha bhI nahIM caahie| sirpha mere kharce lAyaka jitanA cAhie, vaha maiM apane Apa hI le luuNgaa| Apako dene aura lene kA adhikAra nahIM hai| mujhe ThIka lagegA to maiM lU~gA aura usameM Apako yadi anukUla Ae to agale mahIne ke lie Apa 'hA~' khnaa| ApakA kisI bhI taraha kA dakhala nahIM rhegaa|" kyA kahA? praznakartA : maiM ApakI helpa karU~gA aura apane Apa hI paise le luuNgaa| ApakI dakhalaMdAjI nahIM caahie| dAdAzrI : tU de aura maiM lU~ taba to maiMne bhikSA lI, aisA kahA

Page #312
[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 247 jAegA na? hA~, maiM terA saba kAma kara dUMgA, mujhe ghara para paise nahIM le jAne haiM lekina merA rauba rkh| rauba honA cAhie merA to, basa! aura kucha bhI nhiiN| praznakartA : dakhalaMdAjI nahIM caahie| dAdAzrI : nahIM aura kucha bhI nahIM cAhie, isameM saba A gyaa| vaha vyakti to itanA khuza ho gayA, use bahuta acchA lgaa| are! yaha to bahuta acchI bAta hai, aisA khaa| usane hA~ kaha diyA, 'hara taraha se jaisA Apa kahoge vaisA, Apako tIna Ane (aThAraha pratizata) kI pArTanarazipa duuNgaa'| maiMne kahA, 'mere lie bahuta ho gae tIna aane| merA kharca nikala jAegA to bahuta ho gyaa| maiM paise ikaTThe karane nahIM AyA hU~ Apake yhaaN| maiM to isalie AyA hU~ kyoMki mujhe merA ohadA nahIM chor3anA hai'| usa zarta para maiM vApasa ghara A gayA, jisa dosta ke yahA~ rukA huA thA unake vhaaN| agale hI dina maNi bhAI lene A ge| rahane hI nahIM diyA na! phira bar3e bhAI ne vahA~ nahIM rahane diyA, varnA maiM to jamA detA, dera hI nahIM lgtii| bar3e bhAI kI maryAdA rakhI, vApasa ghara cale gae praznakartA : bar3e bhAI Apako DhU~Dhakara lene Ae the? dAdAzrI : usake bAda bar3e bhAI Akara khar3e rhe| mere dosta ke yahA~ nahIM tthhre| unake sADhU rahate the pU~jA bhAI karake, yoM apane muhalle ke the, unake vahA~ jAkara ruke| phira unake sADhU aura ve, donoM hI DhU~DhateDhU~Dhate yahA~ Ae the gAr3I lekr| bar3e bhAI aura ve Ae the isalie mujhe to mana meM aisA lagA ki aba to vApasa jAnA pdd'egaa| A~khoM se A~kheM milIM na, taba unhoMne mujhase kahA, 'yaha nahIM ho sktaa'| unakI A~khoM meM z2arA pAnI bhara AyA thaa| praznakartA : AegA hI na, daadaa|

Page #313
248 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : maiMne kahA, 'Apa kyoM Ae haiM ?' to kahA, 'are ! kahIM aisA karate haiM? tujhe isa taraha se A jAnA cAhie kyA? yaha to bahuta burA dikhegaa'| maiMne kahA, 'maiM phira kabhI nahIM karU~gA aisaa'| mujhase kahA, 'aisA kyoM kiyA? kyA yaha zobhA detA hai'| maiMne kahA, 'nahIM karanA cAhie, lekina phira bhI ho gyaa| unhoMne kahA, 'apane meM aisA nahIM krte'| ciTThI milI isalie samajha gayA ki ahamadAbAda jA rahA hai, lekina aisA kisalie? aisA kyoM kiyA tUne?' maiMne kahA, 'kyA karU~? mujhe vahA~ ThIka nahIM lgtaa| mujhe anukUla nahIM aataa'| to kahA, 'nahIM, sabakucha anukUla AegA, kyoM nahIM AegA?' phira hama vApasa cale ge| bar3e bhAI kI zarma rakhanI par3atI hai na, bar3e bhAI kI maryAdA nahIM tor3a sakate the| phira jaba maiM bar3e bhAI ke sAtha calA gayA to usa kaoNnTraikTara ke sAtha saudA karanA bekAra gayA, saudA phel| itanI parezAnI huI thI, eka hI dina kii| phira aisI parezAnI kabhI bhI nahIM huii| huI hogI lekina bahuta kama, koI khAsa parezAnI nahIM huii| nAsamajhI kI jhaMjhaTa, isalie bhAgane kA dAg2a lagA bar3e bhAI Ae isalie vApasa jAnA pdd'aa| vApasa Ae, usake bAda to jaisA thA vApasa vaisA hI ho gyaa| Apako to kahIM jAnA hI nahIM par3A hogA na? isa taraha to mujhe hI jAnA pdd'aa| merA vahA~ taka kA anubhava hai| hara eka cIz2a kA jo anubhava hotA hai na, to merA dhyAna usI meM rahA karatA hai| vaha kabhI bhI vismRta nahIM hotaa| ye sAre anubhava, jJAna hone se pahale ke haiN| aise kaI, aneka prakAra ke anubhava hue the| kyA-kyA nahIM huA hogA? jJAnI puruSa pahale kA koI Azrama (pUrvAzrama) bhUla jAte haiM kyA? saba yAda rahatA hai| lekina itanA yaha saba huA thaa| itihAsa hai yaha saaraa| itanA dAg2a laga gyaa| bhAga jAne kA dAg2a kahalAegA na yaha to! nahIM kahalAegA? khuda kA vyApAra thA, ghara meM koI parezAnI nhiiN| yaha to nAsamajhI kI jhaMjhaTa thI sArI! aura koI jhaMjhaTa nahIM thii| sirpha khAnA khAne

Page #314
[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 249 kI hI jhNjhtt| use kyA acchA kaheMge? vaha sArA to pAgalapana kahA jAegA, usameM maz2A nahIM hai| praznakartA : nahIM, aisA nahIM, lekina usa samaya bhI itanI sUjha thI ki beImAnI se nahIM jInA hai| dAdAzrI : vaha saba to thaa| praznakartA : kisI kA bhI sahana nahIM karanA hai, ghI ke prati rAga nahIM chor3anA hai| dAdAzrI : haaN| praznakartA : usa samaya ghI ke prati jo rAga thA usameM koI parivartana AyA? dAdAzrI : kisake prati? praznakartA : ghI kama diyA thA isalie! dAdAzrI : nahIM, parivartana AtA hogA kahIM? jinameM parivartana Ae ve alg| aisI mAnyatA banA dI thI ki ghI zarIra kA teja hai aura aisA saba hai, aura ve sArI mAnyatAe~ mAna lI thIM, isalie claa| phira bhI ghI bahuta hitakArI cIz2a nahIM hai, naoNrmeliTI meM acchA hai| jabaki mujhe to kaTorI meM Dubokara veDhamI khAnI hotI thii| jagat ko yaha kisa taraha pusAtA? hamArI bhAbhI to hamArI guru thiiN| maiM unase kahatA hU~ ki 'Apa merI guru haiM, mujhe isa mArga para dhkelaa| isa moha meM se chur3avAyA!' bar3e bhAI ne kahA, 'arere! tujhe itanI parezAnI!' praznakartA : phira kyA bhAI ko patA calA ki bhAbhI Apako parezAna karatI haiM? dAdAzrI : hA~, eka bAra unhoMne khuda apane Apa kahA ki, 'cala A, hama hoTala meM cAya piieNge'| taba mujhe lagA, 'ye to kabhI sAtha meM

Page #315
jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) nahIM baiThate aura Aja mujhe aisA kaha rahe haiM !' hama donoM bhAI kabhI bhI hoTala meM eka sAtha nahIM baiThe the / maryAdA kabhI bhI nahIM chodd'ii| 250 phira mujhase kahA, 'tujhe terI bhAbhI kI tarapha se bahuta parezAnI hai / ve tujhe bahuta duHkha detI hai'| maiMne kahA, 'aba vaha bahuta yAda karane jaisA nahIM hai| Apa mana para mata lenaa| Apako patA calA, vahI kAphI hai ! vAstava meM to jhagar3A na ho jAe isalie abhI taka Apako nahIM batAyA thA' / phira unakI A~khoM meM pAnI A gayA thA / mujhase kahA ki 'yaha to bahuta zikArI strI hai'| maiMne kahA, 'taba phira Apako pahacAnanA cAhie na?' unhoMne kahA, 'isane to mujhe chalA hai abhI tk'| maiMne kahA, 'yaha mAla alaga taraha kA hai, isalie z2arA samajha lo' / usa dina to bhAI kI A~khoM se A~sU baha nikale, 'arere! tujhe itanA duHkha ! maiMne kahA~ isase zAdI kI ki tujhe duHkha de rahI hai ! mere bhAI ko itanI parezAnI ho rahI hai, usakA mujhe aba patA calA ' / taba maiMne kahA, 'Apa mana meM aisA kucha bhI mata rkhnaa| vaha to, jo sira para A par3A hai, use bhugata lenA hai / lekina jaisA Apa mAna rahe the, yaha vaisA nahIM hai'| praznakartA: ThIka hai / dAdAzrI : unake mana meM itanA vizvAsa to ho gayA ki isa strI ne parezAna kiyA hai| praznakartA : isI ko saMsAra kahate haiM / dAdAzrI : to yaha bItI thI na, hama para bhI bItI thI bhAbhI dvArA / AzvAsana dene vAlA hI rulAkara duHkhI karatA hai phira to hamAre bar3e bhAI guz2ara ge| usa samaya hamArI bhAbhI kI umra kama thI, taba jo koI bhI AtA thA, vaha unheM rulAtA thaa| taba mujhe aisA lagA ki 'ye bhAbhI z2arA z2yAdA sensaTiva haiM, to ye loga usa becArI ko mAra deMge !' isalie phira maiMne bA se kahA ki 'Apa saba logoM se aisA kaha denA ki bahU se bhAI ke bAre meM koI bAtacIta na kare' / are! yaha kyA tUphAna ? are ! baMdara ke ghAva jaisA kara rahe

Page #316
[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba ho ? Apase to baMdara acche ! baMdara ghAva ko kureda- kuredakara bar3A karake mAra DAlate haiM, vaise hI Apa inheM kaha kahakara parezAna kara rahe ho to ApameM aura baMdara meM kyA pharka hai ? logoM ko rulAne ke lie Ae ho yA ha~sAne ke lie? AzvAsana dene ke lie jAnA hai, usake bajAya ye to becArI ko mAra hI dete haiM ! lekina duniyA kA niyama aisA hai ki yadi AzvAsana dene vAle vyakti ko, khuda ko hI duHkha hai to vaha kyA AzvAsana degA? vaha to vahI degA na, jo usake pAsa hai| Aja loga duHkhI haiM na ! isalie hameM logoM se aisA kahanA hai ki 'koI vyakti sukhI ho, aMtara se sukhI ho tabhI yahA~ padhAranA, varnA yahA~ mata padhAranA aura ghara baiThe AzvAsana patra likha denA' / yahA~ ina bhUtoM kA kyA karanA hai ? ye bhUta to balki yahA~ Akara ina becArI ko rulAe~ge / bhAbhI ke trAgA ko pahacAnakara ghabarAyA nahIM praznakartA : bar3e bhAI kI Detha ke bAda bhAbhI ke sAtha kaisA rahA? dAdAzrI : hamAre bhAI kI Detha hone ke bAda eka bAra bhAbhI ne trAgA kiyaa| vidhavA hone ke lagabhaga do-tIna mahIne hue hoNge| taba bA aura sabhI ke mana meM ghabarAhaTa ho gaI ki 'yaha strI aba jiegI nahIM' / maiMne kahA, 'kucha nahIM hogaa| yaha strI to aisI hai ki saba ko mArakara mregii| bekAra hI saba para davAba DAla rahI hai'| to unhoMne kyA trAgA kiyA? hamAre mAmA ke beTe rAvajI bhAI Akara baiThe the, taba hamArI bhAbhI chAtI kUTane lagIM, ekadama Upara kUda - kUdakara ! hAya-hAya karake kUdane lgiiN| taba rAvajI bhAI ghabarA gae, Dara gae ! 251 taba maiMne unase kahA ki 'rAvajI bhAI Apa kyoM azAMta ho gae ? cehare para yaha itanA saba kyA ho gayA hai ?' taba rAvajI bhAI ne mujhase kahA, 'bhAI, bhAbhI ko yaha kyA ho gayA hai ?' maiMne kahA, 'kucha bhI nahIM huaa| kasarata kara rahI hai| Apa kyoM ghabarA rahe ho ? Apako maz2A nahIM AyA ? kitanA acchA kUda rahI haiM ye ! kitanI kalA dikhA rahI haiM!' to kahA, 'aise kahIM bolanA cAhie ?' taba maiMne kahA, 'hA~ ! dekho

Page #317
252 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) to, dekhane jaisA hI hai| ye to abhI cAya piieNgii| Apa baiTho na! yahA~ baiThate haiM hama, phira thor3I dera bAda cAya-vAya pIte haiN| unake mana meM khuzI hai na, to ve kUda leM, phira bAda meM hama cAya pIte haiN'| maiMne z2ora se khaa| ve suna leM isa prakAra se| 'dekho na, ye kitanA AnaMda bharA nAca hai! yaha nAca to dekho! kitanA kUda rahI haiM ! AnaMda karane jaisA hai, isameM Apa ghabarA kyoM gae?' to phira bhAbhI ne baMda kara diyA, ve bhI ghabarA giiN| bhAbhI turaMta hI bola uThIM, 'Apane mujhe kabhI bhI caina se nahIM baiThane diyaa| ise nAca kaha rahe ho Apa? abhI bhI ise kasarata kaha rahe ho?' taba maiMne kahA, 'to kyA Apa isase zakti bar3hA rahI ho? trAgA karanA hai kyA mere sAmane?' phira mujhase kahA, 'baiTho, baiTho, ApakA saba dekha liyA!' maiMne kahA, 'acchA hai ! maiMne Apako dekha liyA aura Apane mujhe dekha liyaa| unhoMne rAvajI bhAI ko DarA diyA, use trAgA kahate haiN| trAgA yAnI sAmane vAle ko DarA denaa| karanA nahIM AtA lekina maiM pahacAna letA hU~ trAgA ko jJAnI to abhI bane haiN| bAkI, pahale ahaMkAra to thA hI na! taba maiM kahatA thA ki 'sira paTako na, dekhate haiM ! sira phor3o, calo! mujhe DarAnA cAha rahI ho? pUrI duniyA ko DarAkara, maiM isa para baiThA hU~!' trAgA se mujhe baira hai| bahuta trAge vAlA iMsAna to hameM Age hI nahIM bar3hane degaa| trAgA karane kA matalaba hai bahuta z2yAdA davAba ddaalnaa| mujhe nahIM AtA, hamArI akla vahA~ taka nahIM pahu~ca sktii| isameM bahuta akla kI z2arUrata hai| koI agara trAgA kara rahA ho to use DhU~Dha z2arUra nikAlatA hU~ lekina trAgA karanA nahIM aataa| trAge vAle iMsAna se to mujhe bahuta cir3ha macatI hai| pUrI duniyA kA trAgA utArU~, aisA jAdUgara hU~ pUrI duniyA meM kisI kA trAgA nahIM calAU~gA, aisA hU~ maiN| pUrI

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[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 253 duniyA ke trAge utAra dUM, aisA iMsAna hU~, jAdUgara hU~ maiM to| pUrI rAmAyaNa khatma hone ke bAda meM merI bhAbhI ne Akhira meM itanA kahA, 'ApakI barAbarI to bhagavAna bhI nahIM kara skte'| abhI merI bhAbhI mujhase kyA kahatI haiM ki 'maiMne Apake jaisA iMsAna nahIM dekhaa| maiMne kisI bhI puruSa kI nahIM sunI hai| maiM kisI kI bhI nahIM sunatI, phira cAhe koI bhI kyoM na ho! trAgA karatI hU~, kucha bhI karatI huuN| Apake bhAI kI bhI nahIM sunii| sirpha ApakI sunI hai| itane loga mile, agara kisI se apanA manacAhA nahIM karavA sakI, to vaha sirpha Apa hI ho| Apako nahIM jIta skii| sirpha Apa hI aise haiM jo Dige nahIM, mere kAbU meM nahIM aae| Apane hI mujhe DarA diyA aura koI aisA nahIM hai, jo mujhe DarA ske'| kyA kahatI haiM ? praznakartA : koI aisA nahIM hai, jo mujhe DarA ske| dAdAzrI : hA~, Apake bhAI ne itanA bhI nahIM ddraayaa| mujhe kabhI DarAyA hI nahIM hai, Apane mujhe ddraayaa| Apase hI sIkhI yaha kalA taba maiMne kahA, 'maiM ApakI jAnI huI vidyA sIkha gyaa| sArI kalAe~ maiM Apa se hI sIkhA hU~ na! Apane mujhe jo jJAna sikhAyA hai, vahI jJAna Apa para A rahA hai| Apake hI strI caritra ke hathiyAra kA upayoga maiMne Apa para kiyA hai| Apane mujhe yaha vidyA sikhAI, to maiMne hI Apako aMTI meM DAla diyaa| hamArI bhAbhI itanI tez2a thIM lekina mere ghara meM praveza karate hI, bUTa kI AvAz2a Ate hI cup| kyoM? kyoMki hamArI eka A~kha meM sakhtI dekhI thii| ise to strI caritra kahate haiN| vahA~ to eka A~kha meM pUjya bhAva aura dUsarI A~kha meM sakhtI ho, taba kAma hotA hai| kalA se zAMta kara diyA bhAbhI ko praznakartA : Apane pahale batAyA, usa taraha bhAbhI sirpha Apako

Page #319
254 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) hI nahIM jIta sakI to aisI koI ghaTanA huI hai jahA~ ApakI buddhikalA se unakI bolatI baMda ho gaI ho? dAdAzrI : eka bAra hamAre ghara para eka billI apane do baccoM ko uThAkara le aaii| choTe-choTe do bacce rakha die| phira ve dhIre-dhIre Ane lge| jJAna hone se pahale maiM baccoM meM pha~sa gayA thA, kyoMki dayA thI na! lekina phira se kyoM pha~sUM? praznakartA : billI ke baccoM ko pAlA thA? dAdAzrI : mujhe pAlane kI icchA nahIM thI, lekina pIte-pIte cAya gira gaI thI to vaha lapaka-lapakakara AI to maiMne dUdha bhI ddlvaayaa| choTe-choTe bacce ghUmate-ghUmate A jAte the to maiM z2arA dUdha rakha detA thaa| mere mana meM aisA thA ki becAre bhUkhe mara jAe~ge! ohoho! ye Ae duniyA ke pAlanahAra! kauna Ae? praznakartA : unake pAlanahAra aae| dAdAzrI : hA~, duniyA ke pAlanahAra Ae! becAre bhUkhe mara jAe~ge! maiMne kahA, 'isa taraha koI nahIM mrtaa| are bhAI! yaha terI hI dakhala hai'| phira to unakI Adata ho gii| eka bAra Ae to Adata sI ho jAtI hai to phira pAsa meM hI baiThe rahate the aura phira to bahuta hI pAsa meM Ane lge| phira to haTate hI nahIM the na! pha~sa gae bhAI, pha~sa gae! to isa taraha karate-karate ve bar3e ho gae aura bahuta samajhadAra ho ge| maiM jaba bhI ghara AtA thA taba billI iMtaz2Ara karake baiThI rahatI thI ki 'bhAI, abhI aaeNge'| gyAraha baje, sAr3he gyAraha baje, sAr3he bAraha-eka baje taka, agara dera ho jAtI taba bhI vahA~ daravAz2e para Akara baiThI rahatI thI, yoM karake baiThI rahatI thii| ___ maiM jaba AtA thA to phira vaha mujhe dekhate hI turaMta vahIM se mere pIche calane lagatI thii| praznakartA : koI RNAnubaMdha hogA tabhI to na?

Page #320
[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 255 dAdAzrI : hA~, hogA tabhI to na! vaha socatI thI ki 'aba khAnepIne kA milegaa'| to itanA adhika pha~sa gayA thaa| usake bAda hamArI bhAbhI AIM na, ve z2arA tez2a svabhAva vAlI thIM aura svAmInArAyaNa dharma kA pAlana karatI thiiN| unameM to kutte-billI ko chUte bhI nahIM the, to maiM jaba bAhara gayA hotA thA na, taba bhAbhI billI ko acchI taraha mAratI thIM kyoMki yadi unheM chU jAe to ve khAnA nahIM khA sakatI thIM na ! isalie unheM nikAlane ke lie mAratI thiiN| 'yaha rAMDa calI jAe na, to ina bhAI se jo laphar3A cipakA hai vaha chUTa jAegA!' aisA kahatI thiiN| hIrA bA : lekina unheM to kATa liyA thA na! dAdAzrI : aisA? unheM ? hIrA bA : hA~, tabhI to| dAdAzrI : taba to phira vaha aisA hI karatI na! unheM dA~ta dikhAtIM taba to phira ve kATatI hI na! dA~ta dikhAne cAhie kyA? ye jo baMdara hote haiM, ve dA~ta nikAlate rahate haiM, Apane nahIM dekhA? hamArI bhAbhI to dA~ta nikAlakara dama nikAla detI thiiN| vaha bhI maryAdA dharma ke lie| are! bhalA ise dharma kaise kaheMge? Apako kATA thA kabhI bhI? hIrA bA : nahIM, mujhe nhiiN| dAdAzrI : isalie phira bA ne mujhase eka bAra kahA ki, 'isa billI ko tU yahA~ para khAnA khilAtA hai aura vaha mAratI hai'| taba maiMne usakA tarIkA DhU~Dha nikAlA tAki ve billI ko na maareN| maiMne unase kahA, 'billI ko kyoM mAratI ho? kyA patA, agara ye hamAre maNi bhAI hI Ae hoM to Apa kyA karogI? varnA maiM kyA kisI ko dUdha pilAtA rahU~gA? maiM kyoM dUdha pilA rahA hU~ ? zAyada bhAI Ae hoMge, kauna jAne ki 'ye mere bhAI hI Ae haiM !' to pUchA, 'A sakate haiM ?' taba maiMne kahA, 'hA~, dekhanA! Ate haiM aura satsaMga meM jAte haiN| cukAne ke lie phira se Ae~ge yA nahIM Ae~ge?' usake bAda phira cupa, phira nahIM mAratI thiiN|

Page #321
256 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga - 1) bhAbhI se sIkhA aura banA strI caritra meM avvala maiM to unake sAmane hI kahatA thA ki maiM ApakI to kyA, maiMne Izvara kI bhI nahIM sunI hai / Apa jaisoM ko to maiM aMTI meM DAlakara ghUmatA hU~ / hA~, peTa kA pAnI taka nahIM hile, vahA~ para aise trAge kI kyA kImata? aba maiM Apake tAbe meM nahIM AU~gA / strI caritra kaisA hotA hai usakA pATha Apane sikhAyA hai / aba maiM dhokhA nahIM khAU~gA, Apa jaisI lAkhoM striyA~ A jAe~, phira bhI / ye dUsare sabhI loga Apase parezAna ho jAe~ge lekina maiM parezAna nahIM hoU~gA / aise trAge to maiMne bahuta dekhe haiM, varnA maiM bhI bholA thaa| Apake kapaTa ke sAre saMgraha sthAna maiMne sabhI tarapha se dekha lie haiM isalie jagat meM maiM strI caritra (pahacAnane) meM avvala bana gyaa| ApakA hI sikhAyA huA hai na! ApakI hI DhAla hai ! praznakartA : Apane usa DhAla kA upayoga kiyA thA ? dAdAzrI : unake sAtha usI DhAla kA upayoga karatA thaa| isa cIz2a meM anya koI puruSa unakA pAra nahIM pA sakatA thA / maiM pahacAna jAtA hU~ strI caritra ko, aba dhokhA nahIM khAtA ye trAge to hamane apane ghara meM dekhe haiM, anubhava kiyA hai na! z2abaradasta sikhAyA bhAbhI ne to ! pUrA caritra Az2amAkara dekhA mujha pr| maiM samajha gayA ki 'strI caritra dikhAyA hai yaha' / kauna sA caritra ? strI caritra / Aja kI sabhI striyoM ke caritra pahacAna jAtA hU~ ki isane yaha strI caritra kiyaa| isa prakAra trAgA karate hI maiM samajha jAtA hU~ ki yaha trAgA karane lagI hai| ataH, strI caritra kyA kara sakatA hai, vaha saba mere lakSa (jAgRti) meM hai| maiM kisI bhI strI se dhokhA nahIM khA sktaa| I mujhe koI bhI strI bevakUpha nahIM banA sakatI / striyoM ko yaha saba karanA AtA hai na? saba AtA hai| maiM samajha jAtA hU~ ki yaha karane lagI hai| strI caritra pahacAnakara saba ko mu~ha para hI kaha detA huuN| yahA~ para koI nahIM karatA, kyoMki sabhI jAnate haiM ki dAdA strI caritra pahacAnane

Page #322
[8.1] bhAbhI ke sAtha karmoM kA hisAba 257 meM avvala haiN| ataH strI caritra eka bahuta bar3A viSaya hai, z2abaradasta viSaya (sabjekTa) hai| bhAbhI mAsTara jI aura maiM ziSya, sIkhA strI caritra strI caritra saba se bar3A vijJAna hai| Apane yaha zabda sunA hai yA nahIM? praznakartA : hA~, dAdA, bhut| dAdAzrI : strI caritra bahuta bar3A vijJAna hai| z2abaradasta ! praznakartA : lekina dAdAjI, Apa usakA kAraNa samajha sake kyoMki Apa khule the, varnA nahIM samajha pAte the| dAdAzrI : strI caritra ko samajha gayA thA isalie striyoM ko pahacAna letA huuN| maiMne strI caritra par3hA hai| praznakartA : Apane par3hA hai, dAdA? dAdAzrI : hA~, bhAbhI to merI guru hI huIM na! hamArI bhAbhI mAsTara jI aura maiM shissy| unhoMne pUrI lAipha mujhe strI caritra sikhaayaa| praznakartA : oho! dAdAzrI : aura usameM se phira strI caritra kA maiMne abhyAsa kiyA thaa| strI caritra acche-acche logoM ko ur3Akara rakha de, vaha saba maiM sIkha gayA thaa| mujhe sikhAyA thA isalie maiM sIkha gyaa| pAsa ho cukA huuN| eka hajAra striyoM meM aisA koI mAsTara nahIM hogA, jo bAkI sabhI striyoM ko aMTI meM DAla de| unake sAmane puruSa kI bisAta hI kyA? isa strI caritra kA koI bhI pAra nahIM pA sktaa| bahuta taraha ke strI caritra dekhe haiN| strI caritra meM pAsa hone ke bAda hI jJAnI bana sakate haiM yaha saba maiMne dekhA thA, abhyAsa bahuta huA thA na! aura hamArI

Page #323
258 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) bhAbhI thIM na, isalie isa mArga para A pAyA, varnA A hI nahIM paataa| strI caritra meM pAsa hone ke bAda hI jJAnI bana sakate haiM, varnA kaise bana pAte? aura bhAbhI ne to balki bhagavAna bnaayaa| praznakartA : hA~, sahI bAta hai| dAdAzrI : varnA strI to mAra detI hai| praznakartA : hA~, mAra detI hai| dAdAzrI : pAsa to mujhe honA hI par3A strI caritra meM lekina ve bahuta acchI haiM, upakArI haiN| abhI bhI haiM, lekina aba maiM aisA nahIM kaha sktaa| ve to merI bujurga haiM na? ye saba purAnI bAteM haiN| praznakartA : lekina dAdA, unakA mokSa hogA hI? dAdAzrI : hama usameM nahIM pdd'te| sabhI kA kabhI na kabhI to mokSa honA hI hai, pUrI duniyA kA!

Page #324
[8.2] bhAbhI ko upakArI mAnA bhAbhI ne utArA hamArA ahaMkAra hameM hIrA bA ne kabhI parezAna nahIM kiyaa| hIrA bA ne to duHkha hI nahIM diyA kabhI bhii| jhavera bA ne bhI nahIM, maNi bhAI ne bhI nahIM, mUlajI bhAI ne bhI nhiiN| ina bhAbhI ne z2arA parezAna kiyA thA, hisAba hogA na pichalA? praznakartA : hisAba ke binA to ho hI nahIM sakatA na! dAdAzrI : yaha sArA hisAba hI hai| vaha to mujhe pahale se hI patA cala gayA thA ki yaha hisAba cukA rahI haiN| praznakartA : patA cala gayA phira bhI ApakA jhagar3A hotA rahatA thA bhAbhI se? dAdAzrI : bahuta! pUrI jiMdagI claa| abhI bhI cala rahA hai| abhI bhI kamI nahIM huI hai| merI bhAbhI kahatI haiM ki 'jaba taka ApameM krodha hai, taba taka Apa sarvajJa nahIM bana paaoge'| taba maiMne kahA, 'maiMne z2arA eka kone meM jo krodha rakhA huA hai na, vaha Apake lie hI chor3A hai| yoM to ve z2arA sApha iMsAna thIM na, isalie z2arA beadaba thIM! ve bhI beadaba aura maiM bhI beadb| phira dekha lo maz2e! donoM hI beadaba the na! praznakartA : to ve chor3a kyoM nahIM detI thIM? dAdAzrI : yoM hI chor3a detIM kyA ve? mere sAtha bahuta bhArI baira thaa|

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260 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA : dAdA, isakA kyA kAraNa rahA hogA? dAdAzrI : RnnaanubNdh| praznakartA : isalie bhAbhI apamAna karatI rahatI thIM? dAdAzrI : hA~, bhAbhI bahuta apamAna karatI thiiN| bhAbhI ne to tela nikAla diyA thaa| bhAI bhI apamAna karate the, ve to samajho ki bar3e bhAI the isalie hama unakA burA nahIM mAnate the, lekina bhAbhI to jaba se AIM taba se apamAna hI detI rhiiN| hamArI bhAbhI ne hamArA ahaMkAra utAra diyaa| praznakartA : usa samaya bahuta muzkila lagatA hogA, dAdA? dAdAzrI : bahuta mushkil| lagatI thIM duzmana lekina samajha meM A jAe to kAma kareM mitra jaisA praznakartA : yoM bahuta hI muzkila thA, daadaa| dAdAzrI : mere ve jo dasa sAla bIte na, vaise to kisI ke bhI nahIM bIte hoNge| mere ve jo dasa sAla bIte to usameM janmojanma kA ikaTThA kareM na, to bhI usakI barAbarI na ho itanA g2az2aba kA bItA hai| merI ApabItI kI Apa kalpanA bhI nahIM kara skte| bhAbhI ne duHkha dene meM kucha bhI bAkI nahIM rakhA thA! isameM unakA doSa nahIM hai hisAba to merA hI hai na! isa jagat meM kisI kI bhI noMdha (baira sahita noTa karanA) karane jaisA nahIM hai| praznakartA : lekina kaI bAra duzmana bhI mitra kA kAma kara detA hai| dAdAzrI : hamezA mitra hI hote haiM lekina samajha meM nahIM aataa| mujhe aisA lagatA hai ki merI hI kitanI galatiyA~ hoNgii| lekina una dinoM to aisA lagatA hI nahIM thA na! una dinoM to aisA hI lagatA thA na, ki ve hI galata haiN| una dinoM kama umra meM to aisA hI lagatA na, ki ve mujhe duHkha de rahI haiM isalie maiM kahatA thA ki 'jisa taraha narasiMha mehatA ko unake barAbarI ke mile the, vaise hI mujhe ye mila gaIM !'

Page #326
[8.2] bhAbhI ko upakArI mAnA 261 __ mere lie bhI hitakArI banIM bhAbhI isalie mujhe to yAda AtA thA, mujhe to kyA karanA par3atA thA? rAta ko uThakara maiM socatA thaa| maiM bIsa-bAIsa sAla kI umra meM kyA kahatA thA ki 'narasiMha mehatA ko unakI bhAbhI ne eka vacana kahA, to mehatA ko Aga laga gii| to mujhe jaba ina bhAbhI ne vacana kahA, to usase mujhe bhI Aga lagA karatI thii| taba maiMne kahA, 'hama eka jaise hI haiM, narasiMha mehatA aura hm'| isa prakAra mujhe unase yaha helpa milI thii| bhAbhI ne kyA helpa kI? ve jaba aisA karatI thIM to usakA riekzana AtA thaa| to rAta ko mana meM socatA thA ki narasiMha mehatA kI bhAbhI unake lie hitakarI rahI, mere lie bhI hitakArI haiN| usakA sahI upayoga karU~gA to kAma nikala jAegA na! hameM rAstA milA haiM, lAbha uThAnA ho to uThA sakatA hU~, varnA moha mArga para cale jAte, na jAne moha meM kahA~ ThokareM khAte rahate! lekina vAstava meM unhoMne isa taraha lAlabattI hI dikhA dI! itanA to acchA huA na, mujhe bahuta AnaMda huaa| mujhe bhI bhAbhI kAma meM AIM ! to usa vajaha se hama sudhara gae, varnA sudharate hI nahIM na! ve mere moha ko tor3a hI detI thiiN| ve khuda mere moha ko tor3ane ke lie aisA nahIM karatI thiiN| unakA hetu to yaha thA ki mujhe sukhI nahIM hone denA hai| maiM bahuta paMpa mAratA thA, phira bhI moha utpanna nahIM hotA thaa| kyoMki jahA~ ahaMkAra hai vahA~ moha khar3A nahIM rahatA aura aisA ahaMkAra jo hara prakAra se car3ha baiThA thaa| jJAnI banane meM nimitta bhAbhI __ maiM unase kahatA bhI hU~ ki, 'Apake pratApa se hI maiM yaha banA huuN| maiMne unase aisA bhI kahA hai ki narasiMha mehatA ko unakI bhAbhI milI thIM to ve bar3e bhagata bane aura Apa mujhe mile to maiM bhagavAna bana jAU~gA! mujhe ye bhAbhI milI haiM to mujhe mokSa meM jAne kA rAstA mila gyaa| praznakartA : aura vAstava meM Apa bana gae dAdA bhagavAna !

Page #327
262 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : hA~! lekina vaha nimitta aisA thaa| nimitta hI thIM na? nimitta hI kahalAe~gI na? praznakartA : hA~, nimitt| dAdAzrI : vairAgya lAne vAlI nimitta banIM, merA to hAlAMki yaha saba honA hI thA, lekina nimitta ve bniiN| jaba yaha jJAna huA na, taba bhAbhI se maiMne kahA bhI ki 'Apake acche vyavahAra kI vajaha se mujhe yaha jJAna huA hai| Apane mujhe duniyA dikhaaii'| praznakartA : jaya sccidaanNd| dAdAzrI : ye bhAbhI mujhe mokSa meM le jAne meM helpa kreNgii| duHkha hogA tabhI aMdara se taiyArI hogI na? maiMne kahA, 'ina bhAbhI ne mujhe sikhaayaa| DA~TA lekina sikhAyA hai kAphI kuch'| praznakartA : dAdA, unakA upakAra hai| dAdAzrI : hA~, mAnanA to pdd'egaa| abhI unakA upakAra mAnatA hU~ ki unhoMne mujhe isa rAste para Ane meM helpa kii| praznakartA : bhAbhI ne Apako isa tarapha modd'aa| dAdAzrI : hA~, anaMta janmoM se isa (saMsAra) tarapha thA to unhoMne (mokSa kI tarapha) modd'aa| yahA~ (saMsAra meM) kyA lenA hai? isalie abhI bhI kahatA hU~, 'bhagata banAyA bhAbhI ne| bhAbhI kA to saba se bar3A upakAra mAnanA caahie'| aura Akhira taka unakA upakAra mAnA thaa| isase mujhe isa tarapha mur3ane ke bahuta se kAraNa mila ge| unhoMne mujhe jJAnI bnaayaa| absTrakzana se hotA hai pragati kI ora prayANa praznakartA : to bhAbhI ne Apako adhyAtma kI ora mor3A? dAdAzrI : bacapana se hI adhyAtma tarapha jhukAva vAlA svabhAva thA aura usameM ye merI bhAbhI thIM na, unakA absTrakazana thaa| absTrakazana se

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[8.2] bhAbhI ko upakArI mAnA hI zaktiyA~ utpanna hotI haiM, lekina mazIna haoNrsapAvara vAlA honA cAhie / mere bar3e bhAI aura merI bhAbhI mere lie ati upakArI bana ge| dharma meM mere lie bahuta hI madadagAra bane / unake absTrakazana se hI maiM Age bar3hA hU~ / mere vairAgya kI nimitta banIM bhAbhI 263 merI bhAbhI to merA tIrthadhAma haiM / yaha jJAna huA, usake lie unakA AbhArI huuN| ve agara aisI nahIM hotIM to mujhe vairAgya nahIM aataa| praznakartA : yAnI ki pUrNataH vairAgya ke bIja vahIM se boe gae, aisA kaha sakate haiM na? dAdA ke vairAgya kI nimitta bhAbhI banI thiiN| dAdAzrI : unhoMne helpa kI vairAgya meM, aisA huA ki mUla rUpa se vairAgya to thA hI, aura bhI adhika vairAgya utpanna ho gayA / ataH unakA upakAra mAnatA thaa| mokSa ke rAste para le jAtI haiM cIkaNI phAileM mokSa meM jAne ke lie z2yAdA se z2yAdA upakArI kauna hai ? to vaha hai, cIkaNI phAileM (gAr3ha RNAnubaMdha vAle vyakti athavA saMyoga ) | aura halkI phAileM hameM nikalane nahIM detiiN| halkI yAnI ki jo mIThI lagatI haiM, ve hameM mokSa meM jAne meM madada nahIM krtiiN| Apako jAnA ho to jAo, varnA koI bAta nahIM / varnA nAztA karo ArAma se / ataH maiMne to jamA kiyA hai| isalie hamArI bhAbhI se roz2a kahatA hU~ ki, 'Apa ho to mujhe prApta huA hai, varnA maiM nahIM pA sakatA thA / dhanyabhAgya ! merA kalyANa ho gayA!' aba ina bAtoM ko sunane meM TAima bekAra jAegA itanI hI bAta haiM na, kyA phAyadA hai isase ? praznakartA : isase to tAla baiThatA hai, dAdA / yaha to mahAna puruSoM ke jIvana se tAla baiThAte haiM ki jaba yathArtha darzana hotA hai taba iMsAna isa prakAra tez2I se pragati karatA hai / yoM kitane sAre sAinTiphika sarakamasTanziyala eviDensa mila jAte haiM !

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[8.3] vyavahAra lakSmI kA, bhAbhI ke sAtha karma kI ulajhaneM, isalie nahIM saMbhAla pAte the bhAbhI ko praznakartA : jJAna ke bAda kaisA rahatA thA bhAbhI ke sAtha? dAdAzrI : jiMdagI bhara hamArI bhAbhI ko nahIM saMbhAla sakA, ina saba ko saMbhAla sakatA huuN| praznakartA : dAdA, vaha kisalie? aisA kyoM? dAdAzrI : karma kI uljhneN| praznakartA : cAhe kitanA bhI khuza karane jAo phira bhI ve khuza nahIM hotii| dAdAzrI : kucha bhI de do, phira bhI khuza nahIM hotI haiM na! praznakartA : hN| dAdAzrI : to mujhe aisI duniyA milii| bhAbhI milIM lekina ve khuza ho hI nahIM sakatIM, cAhe kitane bhI prayatna kareM, phira bhii| cAhe unheM kucha bhI denA cAho phira bhI rAjI nahIM hotIM aura nahIM denA cAho taba bhI.... praznakartA : aba usake pIche kyA kAraNa hogA, dAdA? rAz2I hI nahIM hotI haiM, to usakA kyA kAraNa hai? dAdAzrI : lobha thA aisaa| praznakartA : saMtoSa hI nahIM hotA, kama hI lagatA hai| dAdAzrI : haaN|

Page #330
[8.3] vyavahAra lakSmI kA, bhAbhI ke sAtha 265 hakadAra nahIM the phira bhI jo mA~gA vaha diyA bhAbhI ko praznakartA : devara the na Apa, daadaa| dAdAzrI : devara ke taura para sabhI kucha de diyA maiNne| hamArI bhAbhI AI thIM to unase kaha diyA thA ki 'Apako jo cAhie vaha, jitanA mA~goge utanA duuNgaa'| yaha z2amIna unake nAma kI hai, hara eka cIz2a unheM de dI thii| yAnI yaha pUrA gA~va jAnatA hai, isalie koI mujha para u~galI nahIM uThA sakatA na! varnA dama nikAla dete, yadi divAlI bA kA letA to| taba to logoM ko lekara A jAtIM bIca meM ki 'ina bhAbhI kA z2arA dekho to sahI!' unakA kucha bhI nahIM rakhA, sabakucha de diyaa| sabakucha unake pAsa hI hai| mahIne kA tIna sau rupae to byAja AtA hai| saba kA byAja mile aisA kara diyA thaa| ve hakadAra nahIM thIM, lekina unake mana kA kucha samAdhAna to honA cAhie, 'mere devara itane bar3e bhagavAna haiM na!' bhAbhI kA kesa nipaTA diyA saba dekr| vAstava meM pUrA ghara unheM de diyaa| maiMne hAi klAsa makAna banavA diyA, Ara.sI.sI kaa| aba kyA hai unheM? sirpha akele hI raha rahI haiN| bhAdaraNa kA vaha ghara unheM sauMpa diyA hai| maiMne kahA, 'kAma meM lenA aap'| kyoMki upakAra hai na! unheM akele ko sauMpa diyA thaa| bhAbhI kA klema nahIM rakhA bAkI praznakartA : dAdA, Apane to aisA kahA thA ki, 'maiM kisI kA bhI klema bAkI nahIM rkhtaa'| dAdAzrI : hA~, no klem| kaha dete haiM sabhI se ki, 'bhAI, merA kisI bhI taraha kA klema nahIM hai'| aisA sApha kaha dete haiM hm| klema to zurU se hI nahIM rakhA thA unake sAtha kaa| unase koI pUche ki ApakA dAdA para kisI bhI taraha kA klema hai ? to ve kaheMgI, 'nhiiN| vAstava meM merA to koI klema nahIM hai'| no klema aisA kara diyA thaa| praznakartA : hA~, vAstava meM 'koI klema nahIM thA' aisA kahatI thIM aura phira bhI yadi klema nahIM hai aisA yadi ho...

Page #331
266 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : maiMne zurU se aisA hI rakhA hai ki ve klema nahIM rkheN| maiM to bahuta hI satarka iMsAna hU~ na, to koI bIca meM hAtha nahIM DAlatA thA ki, 'divAlI bA ke sAtha nyAya karanA hai'| maiMne nyAya karane jaisA rakhA hI nahIM na kucha bhI, balki helpa karane kA rakhA hai| anya koI bhI jhaMjhaTa nahIM thI mere aura unake bIca meN| praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : phira mujhe jo denA hotA thA, vaha maiM de detA thaa| praznakartA : de dete haiM, vaha ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : phira maiMne unase kaha diyA ki 'aura bhI kucha cAhie? isase jyAdA bhI kucha cAhie?' aMta meM unhoMne kahA ki, 'nahIM bhAI, aba mujhe nahIM caahie'| aisA to bahuta acchA AtA hai! itanA hai ki mujha para rAga-dveSa nahIM hai unheN| dhokhA khAkara bhI kisI kA klema bAkI nahIM rakhA unake bhAI (divAlI bA ke bhAI) khuda hI kaha dete the na ki, 'ApakA unake prati kucha bhI bAkI nahIM hai| ve Apako kucha bhI nahIM kaha sktiiN| unakI ora se koI zikAyata karane nahIM A sktaa| kyoMki maiM hamezA eka cIz2a rakhatA thA ki Apake aura mere bIca meM agara koI jhaMjhaTa ho jAe aura agara mere dasa haz2Ara Apake pAsa raheM to bhI mujhe Apatti nahIM hai lekina Apake pA~ca haz2Ara mere pAsa A jAe~ to usameM Apatti thii| vaha kyoM? kyoMki phira Apa bulAoge ArbiTreTara ko aura ArbiTreTara mere yahA~ AegA ki bahIkhAte dekhane haiN| taba maiM kahU~gA ki 'bhAI, sAr3he bAraha to ho cuke haiM, kala aanaa'| lekina aisA calatA nahIM hai na! ArbiTreTara ko upakArI mAnA jAtA hai| lekina maiMne koI klema nahIM rakhA thA, varnA ArbiTreTara mere yahA~ aate| aura maiM to ArbiTreTara ko nikAla hI detA turNt| phira ArbiTreTara Akara kahegA, 'cAya bnaaie'| to phira hameM cAya banAnI par3egI yA nahIM? maiM ArbiTreTara banA hU~ lekina maiMne kabhI bhI aisA vyavahAra nahIM kiyaa| balki apane ghara para cAya pilAtA hU~ unheN|

Page #332
[8.3] vyavahAra lakSmI kA, bhAbhI ke sAtha 267 ataH gA~va meM koI mujhe aisA nahIM kaha sakatA ki 'ApakI bhAbhI kI zikAyata hai'| varnA hamAre pATIdAra to 'calo, DA~Tate haiM, isa bahAne maz2A aaegaa'| hamAre yahA~ kAma hI yaha hai, logoM kaa| lekina maiM aisA kaipha rakhU tabhI na! kaipha hI nahIM rakhatA aura kisI jagaha para klema bAkI nahIM rkhtaa| paccIsa haz2Ara de dUM lekina sAmane vAlA klema kara sake, aisA nahIM rkhtaa| nahIM milegA aisA bhagavAna jaisA devara kahIM bhI unake bhAI kyA kahate the, jAnate ho Apa? unake sage bhAI haiM lekina ve sApha-sApha aisA kahate the ki isa pATIdAra kI pUrI jAti meM maiMne aisA koI paTela nahIM dekhA jo merI isa bahana ko pAla letaa| pUrI birAdarI meM Apake jaisA koI devara nahIM milegA, jisane apanI bhAbhI jo itanI kama umra meM vidhavA ho gaI ho, use isa prakAra se rakhA ho! hamAre yahA~ to saba ko mA~-bApa hI saMbhAlate haiM, hamArI birAdarI meM jo bhI vidhavA ho jAe, use! use usake hisse kI jAyadAda de dete haiM lekina aura kisI bhI taraha se dhyAna nahIM rkhte| maiMne kahA, 'hamAre yahA~ to aisA nahIM hai| hamAre ghara para z2arA sA bhI duHkha nahIM hone dete'| ina hIrA bA ne bhI duHkha nahIM hone diyaa| divAlI bA ne khuda hIrA bA se kahA thA ki, 'Apako to maiMne duHkha diyA thA lekina kyA Apa bhI mujhe duHkha dogI? usakA badalA logI?' to hIrA bA ne kahA ki, 'nahIM, mujhe nahIM lenA hai'| ataH unhoMne (hIrA bA ne) kisI bhI taraha kA klema rakhA hI nhiiN| maiMne kahA, 'varnA hamArI khAnadAniyata calI jaaegii| ve bhale hI pUre makAna kA upayoga kareM, aura bhI kucha cAhie to dete rheNge'| lekina phira bhI unakI bhUkha miTI nahIM kabhI bhI! khuda unake bhAI bhI kahate the ki, 'itanA lobha hai lekina bhagavAna jaisA devara milA hai'| ve to bhagavAna hI kahate haiN| unakI bahana se aisA kahate haiM ki, 'aisA devara nahIM milegaa'| phira bhI unakI bahana ke mana meM aisA hI hai ki, 'nahIM, aisA to Apa kahate ho, maiM nahIM maantii| Apa mAnate ho|

Page #333
268 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) jJAna ke bAda leTa go karake nibhAyA bhAbhI ko hamArI bhAbhI sabhI ko chalatI thiiN| mujhe bhI chalatI thIM na! vaha unakA bahuta hI pakkA kAma-kAja thA! to kitane kapaTa, z2abaradasta kapaTa ke parde the! ve kitane bar3e hoMge! use 'strI caritra' kahA gayA hai| praznakartA : jaba kabhI ApakI bhAbhI Apake sAmane kapaTa karatI thIM to Apa unake sAmane sakhtI se rahate the? dAdAzrI : yadi sakhtI se rahatA to vaha phira merA tela nikAla detiiN| maiM to leTa go karatA thA, samajhA-bujhAkara nipaTAtA thaa| phira z2arA jyAdA kapaTa kara rahI hotI to maiM saba ke sAmane kaha detA thA ki, 'hamArI bhAbhI kI vajaha se ghara banA hai, varnA ghara kaise bana pAtA?' to phira ve vApasa zAMta ho jaatiiN| praznakartA : taba to aura z2yAdA car3ha jaatiiN| dAdAzrI : bhale hI car3ha jAe~ lekina usa samaya to ve zAMta ho jAtI thiiN| phira jaba car3ha jAe~gI taba maiM eka aisI karArI dU~gA ki sIdhA kara duuNgaa| lekina abhI to gAr3I rAha para A gaI na! praznakartA : aisA jo kahA na, ki bhAbhI ke sAtha Apa bahuta sakhtI se rahate haiM, to vaha kyA hai? dAdAzrI : sakhtI rakhatA hI hU~ maiM unake saamne| inase kahatA thA ki dene z2arUra haiM, lekina agara ve do haz2Ara kaheM to eka haz2Ara denA hai| phira bhale hI bAda meM hameM do haz2Ara dene par3eM, yA usase z2yAdA dene par3eM lekina hameM haz2Ara hI kahanA hai| agara ve kaheM ki, 'nahIM, nahIM, z2arA to bddh'aaie'| to aisA kara-karake bar3havAtI thiiN| abhI (svAmInArAyaNa) maMdira meM khAnA khilAnA thA, mahArAja vagairaha sabhI ko to unhoMne mujhase kahA ki 'Apa paise deMge? saMtoM ko khAnA khilAnA hai'| taba maiMne kahA, 'maiM hA~ kahU~gA lekina pahale se rakama taya kara do to hA~ khuuNgaa| mujhe Apa bajaTa batAo to dUMgA, varnA nahIM duuNgaa| Apa jo bajaTa kahogI, vaha duuNgaa'| yaha udAharaNa de rahA huuN| unhoMne bAraha sau kA bajaTa btaayaa|

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[8.3] vyavahAra lakSmI kA, bhAbhI ke sAtha 269 taba maiMne kahA, 'aba aura bar3hAne kI bAta to nahIM AegI na?' to kahA, 'nahIM, bAraha sau meM bhojana ho jaaegaa'| taba maiMne kahA, 'teraha sau nahIM hogA na?' taba kahA, 'nahIM, bAraha sau'| taba maiMne kahA, 'teraha sau hogA to jokhimadArI aapkii'| vahA~ para maiM gayA, vahA~ saba logoM ne khAnA khA liyA usake bAda jaba sAre bila Ae to aThAraha sau ke aae| jaba aThAraha sau ke bila Ae~ to dene to par3ate na! maiM kyA karatA, denA hI par3atA na? hameM bholA mAnakara, aMTI meM DAlane jAtI abhI striyoM ke lie svAmInArAyaNa maMdira bnaa| taba hamArI bhAbhI ne khuda sAmane khar3e rahakara bnvaayaa| khuda ke paisoM se nahIM, logoM ke paise lekina pUrI vyavasthA unhoMne khuda ne kii| praznakartA : kahA~? bhAdaraNa meM? dAdAzrI : bhAdaraNa meM, striyoM ke lie mNdir| vaha maMdira to thA lekina phira yaha bnvaayaa| to phira bhAbhI kahatI hai, 'maMdira banAnA hai to usameM kucha deMge? Apa kucha karo, striyoM ke lie maMdira banavAnA hai svAmInArAyaNa kaa'| taba maiMne kahA, 'maiM to tIna haz2Ara rupae duuNgaa| usa se Apase jo karanA ho krnaa'| taba kahA, 'maiM khAnA khilaauuNgii'| taba maiMne kahA, 'to khilaanaa'| unhoMne jaba bhI kahA taba svAmInArAyaNa maMdira meM jAkara unheM jo bhI haz2Ara, paMdraha sau, do hajAra kharca karane hote the, ve hama vahA~ jAkara kharca kara Ate the| ve kahatIM ki, 'hameM khAnA khilAnA hai', to hama vahA~ jAkara khAnA khilAte the| maiMne kahA, 'dAna karanA aura khAnA khilaanaa'| hama dete haiM na, to ve samajhatI haiM ki inheM samajha nahIM hai isalie dete haiM varnA ye nahIM dete| ve aisA samajhatI haiN| aba yadi aisA ho, to usakA kyA kareM? mujhase kahane lagIM, 'Apa bahuta bhole ho'| maiMne kahA, 'hA~, bholA hU~ tabhI to yaha dazA huI hai na!' taba unhoMne kahA, 'bahuta

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270 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) bhole ho Apa, loga Apake sabhI paise khA jAte haiN'| maiMne kahA, 'kauna khAtA hai ? loga khAte haiM kyA? hamAre kahane para bhI nahIM khaaeNge'| vaha to mujhe bhI aisA samajhatI thIM na ki inheM aMTI meM DAlakara ghUmatI huuN| abhI bhI aisA hai| merA tela nikAla detI haiM, hA~! praznakartA : abhI bhI? dAdAzrI : abhI bhii| eka dina maiMne z2arA DA~TA thaa| usake bAda rUTha gaI thiiN| phira eka sAla taka kucha bhI nahIM le giiN| jo hara bAra le jAtI thIM na, vaha saba nahIM le giiN| taba kahalavAyA ki 'Apako deMge, Apa le jaao'| taba phira lene AIM taba mujhase kahane lagIM, 'Apane usa dina aisA kahA thA na, isalie nahIM A rahI thii'| maiMne kahA, 'vaha to, agara Apa kaccI par3a jAtI ho taba mujhe kahanA hI par3egA na!' 'maiM kaccI? maiM kisa bAta meM kaccI? Apa kacce ho' kahane lgiiN| maiMne kahA, 'maiM samajha gayA, saba samajha gyaa'| lekina bahuta hI bhArI hisAba-kitAba hai sArA! to abhI vApasa rAste para A gayA hai aura phira vApasa paMkcara hogaa| praznakartA : hamAre jaise to usameM bevakUpha hI bana jaaeN| dAdAzrI : nahIM, Apa jaise nahIM, acche-acchoM ko pha~sA deM, aisI haiN| sirpha vahI jAnatI thIM ki, 'maiM ina sabhI ko, pUrI duniyA ko bevakUpha banA sakatI huuN'| itanI akla hai, aura sahI bhI hai, unameM buddhi hai to shii| jo pacAsa striyoM ko upadeza dene baiTheM, unheM kyA nahIM karanA AegA? Apta jaisA mAnakara, chale gae jAna-bUjhakara isa bAra z2arA ekatA kI unse| hIrA bA kI mRtyu ho gaI thI na, taba phira unheM bhI bulAyA thaa| ve apane Apa hI AI thIM, vyavahAra saMbhAlane ke lie, devarAnI kI Detha ho gaI thI na islie| phira maiMne kahA, 'merA kauna thA? aba to sirpha Apa akele hI rahe ho| hIrA bA the, ve cale ge'| yAnI maiMne unheM yaha bAta Apta jaisA mAnakara khii|

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[8.3] vyavahAra lakSmI kA, bhAbhI ke sAtha 271 'Apako paisoM kI z2arUrata ho to duuNgaa| dasa haz2Ara jitanA dU~ to calegA?' unhoMne kahA 'bahuta ho gyaa'| maiMne kahA, 'mujhe Apako dasa haz2Ara rupae dene haiM, lekina dasa haz2Ara nakada nahIM dUMgA hAtha meN| byAja milegA Apako hara mahIne sau rupe| Apako to byAja hI cAhie na?' to kahA, 'haaN'| maiMne kahA, 'isa bhAI ke yahA~ rakha rahA huuN| hara mahIne sau rupae byAja deNge'| to phira Akara unhoMne sisTama DhU~Dha nikaalaa| mujhase kahA, 'mere pAsa ye cAra haz2Ara hai, maiM kharca kara dU~ dAna meM?' taba maiMne kahA, 'kara do'| unake bhatIje se maiMne kahA, 'ye dasa haz2Ara rakha rahA hU~, usakA tU TrasTI bana jaa| do logoM kA TrasTa banAte haiN'| taba kahA, 'nahIM bhAI, unake kAma meM rahA to mujhe gAliyA~ khAnI pdd'eNgii'| koI bhI vyakti khar3A nahIM rahatA thaa| unheM sirpha unake bhAI hI becAre saMbhAlate the| praznakartA : yAnI Apa jAna-bUjhakara chale jAte the| dAdAzrI : pUrI jiMdagI jAna-bUjhakara chalA gyaa| kucha lenA bhI nahIM aura denA bhI nahIM, phira bhI! unakA doSa dekhA hI nahIM, merI hI bhUla __ aba unakA doSa nahIM thA, lekina maiM kisa taraha nibhA rahA hoU~gA? kabhI unakA doSa hI nahIM dekhaa| merI hI bhUla hai yh| hisAba hai na yaha saaraa| anya koI baira hogA na pUrva janma kA, vaha khatma kiyaa| gA~va meM koI bhI unheM acchA nahIM kahatA thA, koI bhI vyakti aisA nahIM kahatA thA, unakA bhAI yA unakA bhatIjA, koI bhI nhiiN| to phira maiMne unake lie byAja para rupae rakha die| usake alAvA eka haz2Ara yoM hI unake hAtha meM die| unheM sTenalesa sTIla ke DibboM kI z2arUrata thii| bAz2Ara se kharIdane kA kaha rahI thiiN| taba maiMne kahA, 'yahA~ se de deNge| Apa vahA~ para haz2Ara de denA, Apako gyAraha haz2Ara kA byAja milegaa| to eka sau dasa rupae mahIne byAja unheM dete haiN| unhoMne kahA, 'bhAdaraNa baiMka meM rakheM to?' taba maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, yahA~ inake yahIM para rkheNge'| aba aisA saba thA lekina maiM to samajha jAtA thaa| ve aisA jo

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272 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) kahatI thIM vaha samajhatA thaa| bhale hI mujhe mUrkha samajheM, usase z2yAdA aura kyA samajheMgI? praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : unakA eka niyama thA ki lenA hai to dAdA ko chalakara lenA hai| maiM chalA nahIM jAtA thA lekina unake sAmane aisA dikhAvA karatA thA ki 'maiM chalA gayA huuN'| isIlie to kavi ne likhA hai na, ki 'lobhI se Thage jAkara vItarAga Age bar3ha jAte haiN'| lobhI ko lobha karane dete haiN| mUla svabhAva to jAtA nahIM na becAroM kA! luccA ho to luccAI karane dete haiN| yAnI ki jAna-bUjhakara saba karane dete haiN| kyoMki hameM to apane gA~va jAnA hai| bhale hI ve kreN| agara bevakUpha baneMge to jAne deMge hameM apane gA~va praznakartA : ThIka hai, hameM apane gA~va jAnA hai| mAnI ko mAna dekara, lobhI se tthgkr| dAdAzrI : hA~, isa taraha se jAne dete haiM na! 'hA~, jAo abhI, lekina AnA phira, jaya svAmInArAyaNa' kahate haiM, varnA rokeNge| 'Apake pAsa hai aura Apa de nahIM rahe ho'| lekina kisa cIz2a ke lie? agara pUche ki 'kisa cIz2a ke?' to kahate haiM, 'nahIM, kisI cIz2a ke nahIM lekina Apako hameM denA caahie'| haM... inake sAtha kahA~ jhagar3A kareM? usase phira phAila khar3I hogii| phAila khar3I hotI hai na? praznakartA : hA~, phAila khar3I hogii| dAdAzrI : aura paise kyA sote-sote le jA sakate haiM apane sAtha? praznakartA : ApakI cIkaNI phAila hai, daadaa| dAdAzrI : nahIM hai cIkaNI phAila, Apako cIkaNI (gAr3ha, atyaMta rAga-dveSa) lagatI hai| Apako samajha meM nahIM AtA isalie cIkaNI phAila kaha rahe ho| lekina mujhe cIkaNI lagI hI nhiiN| praznakartA : unheM yoM z2yAdA samajha nahIM sakate haiN|

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[8.3] vyavahAra lakSmI kA, bhAbhI ke sAtha dAdAzrI : maiM jAnatA hU~ ki unakA svabhAva lobhI hai| lobha, lobha, lobha, niraMtara lobha kI jAgRti / ve jaba se mujhe milI haiM, taba se eka sekanDa ke lie bhI unakI usa tarapha kI jAgRti baMda nahIM huI / inake sAtha to hamezA parezAnI rhegii| maiMne kahA, 'dete haiM phira bhI ye sudharate nahIM, unakI dRSTi nahIM bdltii'| lobhI dRSTi hai na, isalie vaha nahIM badalatI hai| unakA lobha kabhI bhI nahIM chUTa pAyA / itanA adhika lobha thA! ve kisa taraha se isa nobala ghara meM A gaIM, vaha bhI Azcarya hai ! yaha eka hI guNa mela khAtA thA ki caritra bahuta hAi klAsa thaa| isa vajaha se nibhA liyA lekina lobha ghusa gayA thA na ! hIrA bA ke kitane hI bartana vagairaha saba beca die the / usase jo paise Ae na, ve unhoMne khuda ne rakha lie| lekina usameM koI harja nahIM hai, ghI girA to khicar3I meM hI / loga corI karake le gae haiM kyA ? loga le gae haiM kyA ? 273

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[8.4] bhAbhI ke ucca prAkRta guNa ucca caritra aura zIlavAnapanA praznakartA : caritra ke mAmale meM bhAbhI meM Apako TaoNpa klAsa kyA dikhAI diyA? dAdAzrI : haaN| pUre muhalle meM koI bhI unakA nAma nahIM le sakatA thaa| nAma liyA to A banI / zeranI jaisI strI thIM! yadi kisI ne cher3A to aise A~kheM nikAlatIM ki vaha kA~pa jAtA thaa| kyoMki zIlavAna thIM ! usameM do mata nahIM / koI puruSa dRSTi nahIM bigAr3a sakatA thaa| yadi koI unakI tarapha dRSTi bigAr3e to samajho mara gyaa| balki mAratI thiiN| cAhe kahIM bhI hoM, cappala se mAratI thiiN| pUrA bAz2Ara khar3A ho phira bhI / usake jor3a tor3a detI thIM, aisI thiiN| ve rAjapUtAnI jaisI strI thIM ! | caritra meM bahuta ucca thIM / satI jaisI / aisA caritra kisI kA bhI nahIM dekhA thaa| pUre ghara meM unakA bahuta ucca caritra dekhA maiNne| bhAbhI kA caritra eka naMbara kA, hAi klAsa caritra ! unakA pahanAvA Ama striyoM jaisA nahIM thaa| pUre bhAdaraNa gA~va meM sabhI striyoM ke paira ke Takhane dikhAI dete the, inake Takhane kabhI bhI nahIM dikhAI die| jaba bhI bhAbhI sAr3I pahanatI thIM na, to unakI sAr3I yahA~ taka hotI thii| paira ke Takhane eka dhAge ke barAbara bhI nahIM dikhAI dete the| kabhI bhI nahIM dikhAI die / jaba calatI thIM, usa samaya bhI kabhI dikhAI nahIM die| sAr3I bhI dhUla vAlI nahIM ho jAtI thI, nIce dhUla nahIM lagatI thI / tU samajha gaI ? praznakartA: samajha gaI / kitanI hoziyAra hoMgI ? kaisI hoziyAra !

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275 [8.4] bhAbhI ke ucca prAkRta guNa TakhanA bhI dikhAI nahIM detA thA aura sAr3I para dhUla bhI nahIM lagatI thI dAdAzrI : hamAre bhAdaraNa ke loga mujhe vahA~ bar3audA meM kahane Ate the| kabhI Ate the to mujhase kyA kahate the ki 'ApakI bhAbhI ke bAre meM to kahanA paDegA!' taba maiMne pUchA, 'kyA?' taba kahA, 'ApakI bhAbhI jaba bAhara nikalatI haiM gA~va meM, maMdira-vaMdira jAne, taba usa samaya unake paira kA TakhanA taka kisI ne nahIM dekhaa'| to vaha rauba hI hai na, eka taraha kA! kitanA kailkulezana hai! varnA itane-itane paira khule dikhAI dete haiM! aura yadi sAr3I ghisaTatI rahe to dhUla bharI ho jAtI hai! 'ye to, jaise kSatrANI hI cala rahI ho na', aisA dikhAI detA thaa| jaba bhAdaraNa ke loga aisA kahate the na, taba mujhe garva hotA thaa| yahI saMskAra haiM na! taba mere mana meM na jAne kyA se kyA ho jAtA thA! mujhe garva hotA thaa| merI bhAbhI kA dekho, kitanA acchA hai! to usa garva kI vajaha se mAra khaaii| taba jJAna nahIM huA thaa| aba to kucha bhI nahIM hotaa| aba to mujhe, aisA kucha rahA hI nahIM na ki merI bhAbhI hai! bhAbhI kA caritra ucca isalie dAdA ko ahobhAva maiM jAnatA thA ki hamAre ghara meM pUrI pIr3hI alaga hI taraha kI thii| hIrA bA ne kabhI zikAyata nahIM Ane dI aura inhoMne (bhAbhI ne) bhI kabhI zikAyata nahIM Ane dii| koI zikAyata nahIM karatA thA aura koI zaMkA nahIM, aisI lAipha thI puurii| koI aisA nahIM kaha sakatA thA ki, 'Apake caritra meM aisA hai!' mere lie to yahI saba svarNa jaisA thaa| praznakartA : bs| vahI jaaydaad| dAdAzrI : bs| vahI merI jAyadAda thii| mujhe vahI AnaMda rahatA thaa| usameM caritra kI bahuta kImata thii| praznakartA : caritra kI bahuta kImata ! dAdAzrI : bhAbhI cAhe anya prakAra se mujhe kar3ave z2ahara jaisI lagatI

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276 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) thIM lekina isa bAre meM rAga bhI thaa| loga to aisA hI samajhate the ki, 'ina donoM kA pUrva janma kA z2abaradasta baira hai!' phira bhI unake prati bhAbhI ke taura para kabhI bhI bhAva nahIM bigaadd'aa| mujhe unake prati acchA bhAva kyoM rahatA thA? kyoMki unameM eka mukhya guNa thA, parAye puruSa kI tarapha dRSTi nahIM kI thI kabhI bhii'| caritra ucca thA to vaha bahuta acchA kahA jAegA na ! kitanA bar3A guNa kahA jAegA! praznakartA : bahuta bdd'aa| dAdAzrI : hamAre parivAra meM yaha guNa hai| pahale bA vaisI thIM, phira hIrA bA bhI vaisI thIM, aura ye bhAbhI bhI vaisii| pUrA parivAra kaisA? adbhuta parivAra kahA jaaegaa| kaliyuga meM isI eka 'satI' ko dekhA thA hamane abhI (1986 meM) ve assI sAla kI ho cukI haiN| pacAsa sAla se vidhavA haiN| pacAsa sAla vidhavA kI sthiti meM bitaae| pacAsa-pacAsa sAla taka vikarAla kAla bitAyA na? praznakartA : hA~, pacAsa saal| dAdAzrI : tIsa sAla kI umra meM vidhavA ho gaI thI, lekina caritra ke bAre meM kabhI bhI koI zikAyata nhiiN| eTikeTa vAlI strI thIM! acche kapar3e-vapar3e pahanane kI chUTa thI phira bhI nahIM pahanatI thiiN| yoM yoginI kI trh| kyA Apako lagatA hai ki unameM koI yoginI jaise guNa haiM ? yoginI arthAt jisane parAye puruSa ke sAmane dRSTi taka nahIM ddaalii| dRSTi nahIM badalI kabhI bhii| isI vajaha se, ve cAhe kucha bhI kaheM, maiM karane ko taiyAra hU~ kyoMki hamAre gA~va meM unake caritra ko lekara kabhI bhI zikAyata nahIM aaii| koI unake lie kucha bhI nahIM kaha sakatA thA, una para u~galI nahIM uThA sakatA thA isalie ve jo bhI kaheM, maiM unake (khuda ke) lie vaha karatA huuN| aura yadi ve kaheM ki, 'Apa bhole ho,' to maiM kahatA hU~, 'bholA huuN| pavitra leDI (strI), aura dikhAI detA hai na, pyoriTI hai! pahale se

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[8.4] bhAbhI ke ucca prAkRta guNa 277 hI maryAdA dharma le liyA thA na, maNi bhAI kI Detha huI tabhI se| phira kabhI bhI vicalita nahIM huiiN| pUrI jiMdagI saMyama kA pAlana kiyaa| aise bhayaMkara kaliyuga meM, isa kAla meM kauna saMyama kA pAlana kara sakatA hai? vaha puNya hI kahA jAegA na! isa kAla meM caritra! unhoMne kabhI bhI para puruSa ko nahIM dekhA, na hI jaanaa| pUrI jiMdagI meM kabhI bhI kisI puruSa ko nahIM chuaa| kharAba vicAra taka nahIM AyA kabhI bhii| yaha saba mujhe bahuta acchA lgaa| mUlataH ve ahaMkArI thIM, sunatI hI nahIM thIM na kisI kii| aise saMyama kA jaba pAlana kare, taba bhagavAna khuza hote haiN| kyA yoM hI khuza ho jAte hoMge? praznakartA : nahIM hote| dAdAzrI : isalie mahArAja (sahajAnaMda svAmI) khuza ho gae hoNge| aisA saba ho tabhI khuza hote haiM na! praznakartA : dAdA, maiM unake paira chUne gayA thA, taba 'z2arA dUra rahanA, dUra rahanA' aisA kahA thaa| dAdAzrI : hA~, unhoMne kisI bhI puruSa ko nahIM chuA thA, aura yadi unheM ApakA hAtha chU jAtA na, taba unheM nahAne jAnA par3atA thaa| praznakartA : aisA? dAdAzrI : aisA niyama liyA thaa| hindustAna meM abhI bhI kaI aisI striyA~ hoMgI lekina maiMne agara dekhA ho to sirpha inako akele ko hii| merA anubhava kiyA huaa| praznakartA : striyoM meM aisA jIvana bahuta kama dekhane ko milatA hai| dAdAzrI : aba isa kaliyuga meM hogA hI kahA~ se? satayuga meM bhI zAyada hI koI, do-pA~ca satiyA~ hotI haiN| garva bahuta thA una para, isalie vaza meM rahA unake bAkI guNa bahuta uttama the| yaha strI, kisI bhI puruSa ke

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278 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) sAmane nahIM dekhatI thIM, isalie mujhe una para bahuta garva thA, z2abaradasta garva! garva to rahegA na! cAhe kitanA bhI kapaTa kareM phira bhI garva rahatA thaa| mere mana meM to kitanA vo thA! bhale itanI adhika buddhi thI lekina isa tarapha sIdhe rahe isalie unheM itanA saba AtA bhI hai na! varnA AtA kyA? mere lie to bahuta pUjya haiM! ve DA~Te phira bhI mana meM aisA rahatA hai ki aisI bhAbhI to milegI hI nahIM na! varnA sunanA par3atA na hameM? praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : pUrA gA~va kahatA hai ki 'ApakI bhAbhI ne kabhI bhI iz2z2ata para kisI bhI taraha kA kalaMka yA aura kisI bhI prakAra kI caritra ke bAre meM zikAyata nahIM Ane dii'| varnA yadi kisI bhI prakAra se unake caritra kA khaMDana hotA to sArI parezAnI to mujha para hI AtI na? isalie mere lie to itanA hI bahuta ho gyaa| 'Apako mujhe gAliyA~ denI hoM to de denaa'| hisAba hI cukAnA hai na! aura kyA karanA hai? __ hamAre mana meM aisA hotA hai ki itanA uttama guNa hai, isalie hama thor3I bahuta mAra khA leMge lekina inake sAtha nibhA leNge| isa uttama guNa ko lekara unake vaza meM rahe hama ki 'aise uttama guNa!' hamAre ghara meM isa taraha se thaa| caritra meM bahuta hI hAI, madara-vadara sabhI, zurU se hii| to unhoMne caritra saMbhAla liyaa| acchA hI nahIM lagatA thaa| parAe puruSa kA vicAra hI nhiiN| isalie phira usakA lAbha to hogA na! abhI bhI aMdara unake prati bahuta mAna hai, lekina vaha maiM dikhAtA nahIM hU~, varnA car3ha baiTheMgI vaaps| car3ha baiThegI yA nahIM? _ 'devara hamAre lakSmaNa jI jaise' praznakartA : dAdA, bhAbhI ko Apa para garva thA kyA? dAdAzrI : hA~, mujhe bhI bacapana meM 'lakSmaNa jI' kahatI thiiN| ve kahatI thIM, 'mere devara lakSmaNa jI jaise haiN| mere devara jaisA devara nahIM milegaa'| kyoMki hama donoM eka hI umra ke the| maiM unakI er3I kI tarapha hI dekhatA thA, cahere kI tarapha nahIM dekhaa| jaise lakSmaNa jI ne sItA jI

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[8.4] bhAbhI ke ucca prAkRta guNa 279 ko rakhA thA, usI taraha se maiMne inheM rakhA thaa| ve khuda aisA kahatI thIM ki, 'kahanA par3egA mere devara ke bAre meM!' praznakartA : bahuta kama parivAroM meM aisA dekhane ko milatA hai| milegA hI nahIM na, bahuta hI km| isa kaliyuga meM to milatA hI nahIM pAvaraphula buddhi se samajhAtI thIM zAstra dAdAzrI : hamArI bhAbhI bahuta pAvaraphula thiiN| unakA brena bahuta z2abaradasta thA isalie jaba bAtacIta karatI thIM na, to kitanI acchI ! buddhi bar3ha gaI thI na! kisI ke sAtha bAtacIta karatI thIM na, to usakI bhUla DhU~Dha nikAlatI thiiN| buddhi itanI acchI thI! aisI, vakIla jaisI buddhi, jo puruSoM kI bhI galatI pakar3a le! praznakartA : lekina vahA~ kramika meM to buddhi kI hI z2yAdA z2arUrata hai na? dAdAzrI : hA~, unakI buddhi z2abaradasta thii| yadi pacAsa-sau striyA~ baiThI hoM to unheM upadeza dene lagatI thiiN| ve bahuta acchA upadeza detI thIM aura sabhI zAstra samajhA sakatI thIM kyoMki zurU se hI unheM zAstroM kA bahuta kucha AtA thaa| pahale se hI dimAg2a acchA calatA thaa| abhI bhI, jahA~ hamArA nayA ghara banAyA hai na, vahA~ pA~ca-pacAsa striyA~ ikaTThI karake khuda satsaMga karavAtI haiM, sabhI ko samajhAtI haiN| unheM bahuta samajha hai| ve zAstra ke zAstra samajhA detI haiM / to ye sabhI pacAsoM striyA~ unake pIchepIche ghUmatI rahatI haiN| satsaMga samajhAnA kyA koI aisI-vaisI bAta hai? mujhase kahatI haiM, 'saba ne mere yahA~ ikaTThe hokara pUrI rAta bhakti kii'| maiMne kahA, 'acchA hai| kro'| praznakartA : roz2a hamAre vahA~ se jAte haiM sb| dAdAzrI : hA~, sabhI jAte haiN| balki acchA ho gyaa| yaha to

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280 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) hamArA dhanya bhAgya kahA jAegA na! mujhe AnaMda hogA na! unakI kucha bAteM logoM ko samajha meM Ae~ to acchA hai na! acchI strI haiM, bahuta satsaMgI haiM! pUrI jiMdagI bhakti kI, 'mahArAja, mahArAja' kahatI haiN| usa dharma ne hI unakA rakSaNa kiyA hamArI bhAbhI ne svAmInArAyaNa dharma ko acche se pakar3akara rakhA hai| vidhavA strI ke lie yaha mArga saba se acchA hai| kyoMki tIsa sAla meM vidhavA ho gaI thI, lekina dekho na caritra bilkula pvitr| tabhI to maiM kahatA hU~ na ki yaha dharma acchA hai| dharma ne hI unakI rakSA kii| praznakartA : vAstava meM dharma ne hI unakI rakSA kI, daadaa| dAdAzrI : haaN| aura unakI bhAvanA thI na! bahuta mj'buut| aba tIsa sAla kI umra thI, itane sAla kaise bitAe? dharma meM ghusa gaIM na, phira isake bAda, 'kisI bhI strI yA puruSa ko nahIM chUnA hai', aise saba niyama le lie the to vaha bahuta acchA huaa| bhAbhI ne kahA, 'mujhe bhI jJAna do' eka bAra vahA~ (bar3audA meM) darzana karane AI thIM, paccIsa-tIsa striyoM ko lekr| ve saba unakI asisTanTa thIM, unakI phaoNloarsa thIM sbhii| nIrU bahana baiThI thIM aura bhAbhI una saba ko lekara aaiiN| taba phira unake phaoNloarsa ne kyA kahA? 'jaise Apa inake lie ho na, vaise hI ye hamAre lie haiN| maiMne kahA, 'bahuta acchA hai bhaaii'| eka bAra daseka sAla pahale hamArI bhAbhI AI thiiN| mujhase kahA ki 'mujhe AtmajJAna do'| phira maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, Apako jJAna nahIM de sktaa'| taba kahA, 'Apa ina saba ko jJAna dete ho to mujhe kyoM nahIM dete?' taba mujhe aisA lagA ki yadi inheM jJAna de dU~gA to phira kitane hI logoM ko becAroM ko koI samajhAne vAlA nahIM milegaa| ve jaba khuda par3hatI thIM to unake pAsa pacAsa striyA~ baiThI rahatI thiiN| aba ve pacAsa satsaMgiyoM ko satsaMga karavAtI haiN| vaha khaMbhA TUTa jAegA to pacAsa loga kahA~ baiTheMge

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[8.4] bhAbhI ke ucca prAkRta guNa 281 becAre? yadi unakA khaMbhA hI gira par3e to jo roz2a satsaMga sunate haiM, ve kahA~ jAe~ge? kauna upadeza dene jAegA? praznakartA : ThIka hai| nahIM tor3a sakate the logoM kA AdhAra, unheM jJAna dekara dAdAzrI : inheM ThaMDaka ho jAtI to phira vahA~ nahIM jAtIM na! praznakartA : hA~, phira nahIM jaatiiN| dAdAzrI : aura agara yaha khaMbhA gira jAegA to parezAnI ho jaaegii| hama kahA~ yaha khaMbhA tor3eM? isalie maiMne kahA, 'yaha jJAna Apako dene jaisA nahIM hai| aisA jJAna to Apako phira bhI mila jAegA, ApakA aura merA pArivArika saMbaMdha huA, vaha koI aisA-vaisA nahIM hai| Apa jo kara rahI haiM vaha ThIka hai| Apake pAsa to jJAna hai hI na! Apako kyA matalaba hai isase?' aisA kahakara vApasa bheja diyaa| kitane sAre loga the inake sAtha aura inhIM ke AdhAra para to una logoM kA saba cala rahA thaa| praznakartA : sahI bAta hai| dAdAzrI : maiMne kahA, 'ApakA dharma bahuta acchA hai'| ve apane Apa hI namaskAra karatI rahatI thiiN| jinakA aisA hai ki apane Apa hI ho jA rahA hai to hama unheM yahA~ isameM nahIM ddaalte| yahA~ para kahA~ rakheM saba ko? pA~ca sau logoM kA yahA~ para khAnA banAne meM parezAnI hotI hai to phira itane saba kA kyA hogA? hama bhIr3a bar3hAne nahIM Ae haiM? hama to, jinheM pUrNataH mukta honA hai, unake lie hai yaha sb| praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : ataH apanI icchA hI nahIM hai unheM isa tarapha lAne kii| aMta meM bhagavAna samajhakara karate the AratI praznakartA : aba ApakI bhAbhI yahA~ Akara Apake darzana karatI haiM kyA?

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282 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : hA~, paMdraha-bIsa sAla se karatI haiM sabakucha, isa taraha baitthkr| inake jaisA koI kahe ki 'bhagavAna haiM' to phira paira chUtI haiN| ve to pahale se hI paira chUtI thIM sabhI ke, hara roj'| jaba kabhI bhI milate to nIce baiThakara paira chUtI thIM, sAr3I phailaakr| jaba hamArA thor3A-bahuta RNAnubaMdha kama huA na, taba ! lekina abhI bhI hai| inhoMne kahA to AratI utAratI haiN| vahA~ bhAdaraNa meM ghara para jAtA hU~ taba bhI AratI utAratI haiN| praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : jaba ye nIrU bahana samajhAtI haiM taba phira AratI karatI haiN| hama vahA~ gae the na, taba unhoMne kahA ki 'mujhe dAdA kI AratI utAranI hai'| to saba ke sAmane unhoMne AratI utArI thii| udayakarma kI kitanI ulajhaneM rahatI haiM! karma kI ulajhaneM huI narama, phira bhI dAdA rahe sAvadhAna praznakartA : lekina utanA to narama huA na? to aba kyA bacA? dAdAzrI : lekina hama sAvadhAna rahate haiN| phAila hai na! phAila, phAila! mere kahane se pahale hI ve pUrI bAta samajha jAtI haiN| praznakartA : yAnI kI bahuta hI vicakSaNa! dAdAzrI : bahuta vicakSaNa, z2abaradasta ! isalie mujhe sirpha AdhI bAta hI kahanI par3atI hai| yaha sArA hisAba hai phAiloM kA, to maiM jaisetaise karake isameM se bAhara niklaa| merA hisAba khatma ho jAe to bahuta acchaa| inake jaise to khatma karavA dete haiM, baka-baka krke| praznakartA : dAdA, isameM khatma karane jaisA hai hI kyA? dAdAzrI : nahIM, kucha bhI nahIM hai| praznakartA : Apako jaba phrekcara huA thA, taba eka bAra ApakI tabIyata pUchane AI thiiN| mujhe yAda hai| dAdAzrI : haaN|

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[8.4] bhAbhI ke ucca prAkRta guNa 283 praznakartA : lekina usa samaya bahuta hI lAgaNI (bhAvakutA vAlA prema) se ApakI tabIyata pUcha rahI thiiN| dAdAzrI : lAgaNI to hai lekina jyAdA to vaha hai (baira vaalaa)| praznakartA : lekina jahA~ lAgaNI hotI hai, vahA~ para vaisA rahatA hI hai| dAdAzrI : rAga aura dveSa donoM hI rahate haiM na! / eka bAra to jaba jayaMtI manAI taba kahA, 'mujhe dUsarI manAnI hai'| maiMne kahA, 'Apa yahI kahatI haiM na, ki dAdA Apa bahuta jiieN'| praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : to acchA huA ki AzIrvAda milA hai, aba bar3hegI, bar3hegI aba! divAlI bA ke AzIrvAda to phaleMge na! ve bar3I haiM, pUjya haiN| vyavahAra meM to pUjya hI haiM na! divAlI bA karatI thIM dAdA kI purAnI bAteM praznakartA : bA, dAdA kI purAnI bAteM batAie n| divAlI bA : maiM jaba bhAdaraNa se aTalAdarA jAtI thI, to vahA~ bIca meM utarakara hIrA bA se milane jAtI thii| hIrA bA ke jAne ke bAda kama kara diyA maiNne| lekina aMbAlAla kA mere prati bahuta bhAva thaa| nIrU mA~ : bahuta bhaav| divAlI bA : ve (maNi bhAI) dhAma meM gae na, to maiM bahuta rotI thii| mere pairoM para hAtha rakhakara unhoMne kahA, 'maiM Apako bA kI taraha rkhNgaa'| to usI prakAra se rakhA hai| mujhe DA~Tate bhI the| devara haiM na! lekina merA prema bhI kama nahIM hotA thaa| bhAva se (hRdaya se) kama nahIM hotA thaa| bhAbhI thIM na, isalie parezAna karate the praznakartA : bhAbhI thIM na isalie DA~TatI thIM, parezAna bhI karatI thIM na?

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284 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) divAlI bA : hA~, bhut| maiM aTalAdarA meM merI sevA bhUla gaI thI, zelpha (tAka) pr| vahA~ merA eka kamarA thA, mere jaisI hI cAra bujurga mhilaaeN| to sabhI kI zelpha para rakhI thiiN| taba phira maiM bar3audA meM ghara para Akara nhaaii| phira jaba mere kapar3e lene ke lie sAmAna nikAlA taba mere ThAkura jI kI vaha sevA nahIM dikhAI dii| maiMne kahA, 'merI sevA raha gaI vahA~ zelpha para aura maiM zelpha para se lenA hI bhUla gii'| taba phira vahA~ se maiM moTara meM AI thI isalie upavAsa karanA par3A aura aMbAlAla ghara para hI the| aMtima sAloM meM zarIra meM kamaz2orI kI vajaha se ve khuda bhI kAma para nahIM jAte the aura zAma bhI hone lgii| phira pUjA ke binA to mujhe upavAsa karanA par3atA, yAnI ki khAnA nahIM khA sakatI thii| maiM moTara meM AI thI isalie usa zAma ko khAnA nahIM khAnA thA mujhe| to phira agale dina pUjA kie binA maiM khAnA kaise khAU~gI? maiMne apane mana meM aisA socaa| eka vyakti aTalAdarA jA rahA thA, vaha naukarI karatA thA vahA~, baniyA thaa| TheTha mAmA kI pola meM usake vahA~ jAkara puuchaa| maiMne kahA, 'bhAI, Apake ghara se koI aTalAdarA jAegA?' to kahA, 'nhiiN'| unakA beTA thA vaha bolA, 'mere pApA to A ge'| aba kisake sAtha? phira vApasa AI aura phira lagA ki aMbAlAla ko batAe binA nahIM calegA? maiMne kahA, 'bhAI, maiM to merI pUjA bhUla gaI hU~ aTalAdarA aura Aja abhI to mujhe kucha nahIM khAnA hai, moTara meM AI na islie| lekina aba kala agara yadi maiM lene jAU~gI to vApasa upavAsa karanA par3egA aura Ate hue vaaps'| taba phira unhoMne kahA, 'to phira upavAsa kara lenA!' aisA kahA na to phira maiM to aMdara kamare meM calI gii| hA~, to ThIka hai| usake bAda phira caMdrakAMta AyA gAr3I lekr| caMdrakAMta roz2a zAma ko pA~ca baje dAdA ke pAsa AtA thaa| taba phira ve vahA~ se uThakara aura cabUtare para ge| kucha khar3akA to unheM patA calA ki caMdrakAMta AyA hai to unhoMne caMdrakAMta se kahA, 'khar3A raha, tU aMdara A gAr3I rkhkr| jUte mata nikaalnaa| aTalAdarA jAnA hai| divAlI bA apanI pUjA bhUla gaI haiN'| taba phira caMdrakAMta khar3A rahA aura phira khuda koTa pahanakara ge| to vahA~ zelpha para

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[8.4] bhAbhI ke ucca prAkRta guNa 285 rakhI thI saba kI sevaa| taba maiMne kahA ki 'merI sevA lAla kapar3e meM hai aura ye sabhI loga jAnate the ki yaha divAlI bA kI hai'| phira ve caMdrakAMta kI gAr3I lekara gae aura merI pUjA lekara aae| maiMne jisa kamare meM batAyA thA usa anusAra vahA~ se lekara A gae, taba mujhe zAMti huii| bahuta zAMti, kitanA thA unheM! to 'taba phira upavAsa kara lenA' aisA kahA aura jAne kA to unhoMne pakkA kara hI liyA thA lekina mujhe to aisA khaa| nIrU mA~ : Apako parezAna karate the, Apa bhAbhI thIM na? ApakA bhI phira aisA hI thA na, barAbarI kA hisAba thA na, devara-bhAbhI kA! divAlI bA : hA~, phira lekara aae| unheM mere lie kitanA thA! unakA vaha saba to mujhe abhI bhI bahuta yAda AtA hai| unakI DA~Ta bhI yAda AtI hai, lekina phira mujhe gussA nahIM thaa| mujhe jisa prakAra se kudaratI bhAva hote haiM na, usa prakAra se unake bAre meM bhAva rahatA hai| mahArAja, mere aMbAlAla ko kucha nahIM hogA praznakartA : bA, Apako dAdA ke prati bahuta bhAva hai? divAlI bA : bhut| sayAjIrAva the usa samaya zuruAta meM bar3audA meM jaba jAtIya jhagaDe hae the aura ve sabjI lene gae the mArkeTa meM aura bahuta samaya bItane para bhI nahIM aae| hamArI jogIdAsa viThThala kI pola (muhalle) ke sAmane to bahuta loga ikaTThe ho gae the| maiMne kahA, 'hamAre aMbAlAla bAhara mArkeTa meM gae haiN'| to maiM to ghabarA gii| taba phira bhagavAna kRSNa kI eka mUrti rakhI huI thii| bhagavAna se kahA, 'mahArAja, hamAre aMbAlAla ko Ane-jAne meM mArkeTa-vArkeTa meM agara unheM patA nahIM hai aura agara ve kisI kI lapeTa meM A jAe~ to mere aMbAlAla ko kucha bhI nahIM honA cAhie!' mujhe aisA ho rahA thaa| phira ghara para A ge| ve kisI kI bhI cuMgala meM nahIM pha~sate the| ve to aise the ki kahIM bhI chupa jAe~! mujhe saba patA hai na! aise the ve to| unhoMne vaisA hI bhAva aura prema

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286 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) aMta taka rkhaa| bahuta hI samajhadAra aura kucha bhI nahIM bolate the, aura bolate the na taba jaise eka muramurA rakhane jitanA! unhoMne bhAbhI se apanA dharma chor3ane kA bhI Agraha nahIM kiyA divAlI bA : unhoMne kabhI aisA nahIM kahA ki Apa svAmInArAyaNa dharma chor3a do yA hama AtmajJAna kI bAteM kreN| hama donoM bAteM bhI karate the lekina usa samaya unakA itanA pracAra nahIM thaa| yAnI unake mana meM aisA thA ki yahA~ para niyama-dharama acchA hai isalie ThIka hai| merI kama umra thii| unase eka sAla bar3I thii| ataH maiM aura ve donoM jJAna kI bAteM karate the| unake bhAI ina bAtoM meM nahIM par3ate the aura unake sAmane hama bAteM bhI nahIM karate the| maiM DA~TatI bhI thI aura phira ve bhI mujhe bahuta DA~Tate the lekina usake bAda phira kucha bhI nhiiN| AMtarika lAgaNI hai na vaha to! zurU se hI bhagavAna meM ruci divAlI bA : hamArA caMdrakAMta, ina saba ke bajAya ina para z2yAdA prema thA ki, dAdA to bhagavAna jaise haiM! caMdrakAMta auroM ke sAmane bAteM karate the ki 'dAdA, to bhagavAna jaise haiN'| isa saMsAra se alaga baateN| isa saMsAra kI bAte nahIM thIM, AtmA kI arthAt jJAna kii| yadi vaha hotA to bAkI saba kahate haiM ki dAdA inheM jJAna dene vAle the lekina vaha to kama umra meM hI eka dina calA gayA (dehAMta ho gyaa)| pahale hamezA zAma ko pA~ca baje gAr3I lekara AtA thA, alakApurI se bdd'audaa| praznakartA : kyA dAdA zurU se hI saMsAra meM alipta rahate the? divAlI bA : zurU se hI kisI bhI prakAra ke kAma meM unakA citta hI nahIM rahatA thaa| 'kucha kAma karanA hai' aisA rahatA thA phira karate bhI the| phira zAma ko pA~ca baje Ate the| isameM bilkula bhI dhyAna hI nahIM thA, vyApAra meM nahIM, aura saMsAra ke anya kisI vyavahAra meM nhiiN| zurU se aisA hI thaa| nIrU mA~ : kahate haiM, zurU se hI vyApAra meM yA vyavahAra meM kisI cIz2a meM dhyAna nahIM thaa| basa, ve to bhagavAna meM hI rahate the|

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[8.4] bhAbhI ke ucca prAkRta guNa 287 dAdAzrI : mujhe yaha saba acchA nahIM lagatA thA, rucatA nahIM thaa| mujhe to bhagavAna ke alAvA aura kahIM bhI ruci nahIM thI! ____nIrU mA~ : lekina bar3e bhAI DA~Tate the unheM, 'kAma nahIM karatA hai' aisA krke| dAdAzrI : hA~, DA~Tate the| nIrU mA~ : kahatI haiM, 'phira unake bhAI kucha kahate taba maiM bahalA detI ki sabjI lene gae the| jaise-taise karake maiM bahalA detI thii'| dAdAzrI : bar3e bhAI yoM to rAjasI iMsAna the lekina svabhAva z2arA tez2a thaa| dAdA ke brahmacarya ke bAre meM... nIrU mA~ : dAdA ke brahmacarya ke bAre meM batAie n| divAlI bA : unake brahmacarya kI barAbarI to koI bhI nahIM kara sktaa| ohoho... unake mana meM bilkula bhI galata vicAra nahIM thaa| aisA thA unakA brahmacarya! nIrU mA~ : zurU se hI, bacapana se hI aisA thA? divAlI bA : bacapana se hii| una dinoM Ar3a, pardai bahuta the| do gharoM ke bIca meM hamArI tarapha eka daravAz2A thA, bar3I khir3akI jaisaa| hamAre do ghara the, mere sage cAcA sasura kA aura hmaaraa| maMgala bhAI kA aura mUlajI bhAI kaa| ve jo jeTha the to unakI zAdI gajerA meM huI thI, mere hI kuTuMba meN| lekina unakA svabhAva bahuta hI jelasI vAlA thA, IrSyA vAlA thaa| merI bA ne mujhe bahuta diyA thaa| unakI sAsa sautelI thI, yAnI ki unakI patnI kI sautelI mA~, to unhoMne bahuta z2yAdA kapar3e vagairaha nahIM die the isalie unheM irSyA hotI thiiN| bA bhaiMsa rakhate the to eka bAra bA tarasAlI gaI thiiN| taba caravAhe kI striyA~ chAcha lene AtI thiiN| una dinoM hara ghara meM bhaiMseM thiiN| sabhI loga

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jJAnI puruSa (bhAga - 1) I bhaiMsa rakhate the bhAdaraNa meM aura ghara-ghara kodarA ke paudhe hote the, yahA~ ta ki unameM paira chupa jaaeN| yaha saba maiMne dekhA hai| kodarI ke paudhe bhaiseM khAtI thii| caravAhe gAyeM rakhate the, to unakI striyA~ itane bar3e-bar3e maTake lekara chAcha lene AtI thIM / ve eka bAra bA tarasAlI gaI huI thIM aura mujhe chAcha bilonI pdd'ii| merI umra kama thI lekina aMbAlAla bhI sAthasAtha kAma karavAne lgte| aisA hai na, maiM una jeTha se ghUMghaTa rakhatI thii| mere jIjA lagate the phira bhI / hama Upara kAma kara rahe the to jaba mujhe nIce jAnA thA taba ve caukhaTa para baiTha jAte the / phira aMbAlAla bhAI ko to gussA AyA to ve lakar3I lekara nIce Ae aura kahA, 'yahA~ se uThate ho yA nahIM ? uTho, jAo bAhara ! yahA~ bIca meM kyA karane baiThe ho ? nahIM to lakar3I se maaruuNgaa'| aMbAlAla caudaha-paMdraha sAla ke the| to phira ve bhAga ge| mujhe saMDAsa jAnA hotA, bAtharUma jAnA hotA taba bhI unheM IrSyA hotI thI aura ve bIca caukhaTa baiTha jAte the / una dinoM parade kA rivAja thA isalie maiM nahIM jA pAtI thI / agara koI puruSa baiThA ho to ghUMghaTa nikAlanA par3atA thaa| aura bA kahatI thIM, 'tere jIjA jI lagate haiM na!' 'vaha to pAgala hai', bA aisA kahatI thIM / usase ghUMghaTa mata nikAla / vaha to aisA hai ki mAra de| aMbAlAla unake pIche daur3e to aMbAlAla ke Dara se ve bhAga ge| 288 saMsAra kA moha nahIM thA praznakartA: Apa dAdA ke bAre meM batA rahI thIM na ki dAdA kI zAdI karavAne ke bAda bhI dAdA ko saMsAra kA moha nahIM thA / hIrA bA dasa sAla taka pIhara meM rahI thIM / divAlI bA : moha nahIM thA / ve caudaha sAla ke the taba jaise loga zAdI karate the usa taraha unakI bhI zAdI huI, lekina unheM aisA kucha nahIM thaa| unheM khuda ko aisA nahIM thA ki yaha merI strI hai, dharmapatnI hai aura maiM isakA pati huuN| unheM to moha hI nahIM thA, kapar3oM kA bhI moha nahIM thA aura patnI kA bhI nahIM / praznakartA : phira hIrA bA kitane sAla pIhara meM rahI thIM ?

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[8.4] bhAbhI ke ucca prAkRta guNa 289 divAlI bA : unheM to phira pA~ca-chaH sAla bAda lekara Ae the| zAdI ke vakta unake pitA jI ne paise kama die the| mere sasura ne do haz2Ara kA daheja taya kiyA thA usa smy| kitane sAla ho gae usa bAta ke to! usa samaya dUdha do Ane kilo thA, eka AnA hI, do Ane bhI nahIM, eka rupae kA do sera-DhAI sera ghI milatA thA, bhaiMsa kaa| unakI zAdI ke vakta aisA saba thaa| maiM unake bhAI kI dUsarI patnI thii| mere sAtha unheM (aMbAlAla ko) pahale se hI bahuta jamatA hai, bhAI-bahana kI taraha rahe haiN| dAdA aura unakI bhAbhI ke bIca kA vArtAlApa dAdAzrI : mUlajI bhAI saMvata tirAsI (saMvata 1983, IsavI san 1927) meM cale ge| maNi bhAI 1940 meM cale gae aura bA, merI umra jaba ar3atAlIsa sAla kI thI taba 1956 meM cale ge| hIrA bA bhI 1986 meM cale ge| praznakartA : divAlI bA kahatI haiM ki, 'aba, jaba maiM jAU~, taba Apa aanaa'| dAdAzrI : aisA to kahIM hotA hogA? vaha to Apa saba ko bhejakara phira jaaeNgii| maiMne kahA, 'Apako jAnA ho to mujhe bhejakara jAnA... usameM harja kyA hai ? maiM to jI hI rahA huuN| maiM kabhI marU~gA hI nahIM na! hIrA bA bhI nahIM mare haiN| praznakartA : aisA kahatI haiM, 'AtmA kahA~ maratA hai ? AtmA maratA hI nahIM hai| dAdAzrI : bs| praznakartA : ve kahatI haiM, 'maiM mara jAU~, taba Apa bhAdaraNa aanaa'| dAdAzrI : Apa pahale maroge? are! Apa to rahanA na, zarIra acchA hai aapkaa| kyA duniyA meM acchA nahIM lagatA? divAlI bA : bhagavAna kA AsarA hai isalie acchA lagatA hai|

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290 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : vaha bahuta bar3A AsarA hai! divAlI bA : isalie acchA lagatA hai| dAdAzrI : vaha AsarA acchA hai| praznakartA : kahate haiM ki aba basa meM akele Ane kI himmata nahIM hotI lekina Akhira meM hIrA bA ko Akara dekha gae the| dAdAzrI : aba unakI himmata nahIM hotI lekina vahA~ baccoM se maiMne kahA thA na ki jaba bhI Apa Ao taba inheM lekara aanaa| praznakartA : ve to kahatI haiM ki 'jaba dAdA kA eksiDenTa huA taba dekhane AI thIM, taba unake darzana kie the| usake bAda se bahuta nahIM A paatiiN| dAdAzrI : umra ho gaI hai na! mujhase bhI eka sAla bar3I haiN| maiM apanA pichalA anubhava batAtA hU~ ki yaha satsaMga jaisA honA cAhie vaisA kyoM nahIM hotA thA? kyoMki bhUtakAla kI, jJAna hone se pahale kI jo bAteM nikalatI thIM, ve AvaraNa lAtI thiiN| vaha mujhe samajha meM aayaa| to jaba se pUrvakAla kI bAteM karanA baMda kara diyA, taba se satsaMga suMdara nikalatA hai| jJAna milane se pahale kI bAtoM ko pUrvAzrama kahate haiM, vaha rileTiva Azrama kahalAtA hai| vaha sArA poijana hI kahA jaaegaa| to aba riyala Azrama aayaa| hamArA satsaMga to kaisA hai ! rileTiva se koI lenA-denA nahIM hai, riyala meM saMpUrNataH prApta kiyA hai| unakA, jJAniyoM kA hetu kyA hai ? samagra loka ke kalyANa ke lie naoNrmala bhAva, anya koI bhAva hI nahIM aura niraMtara satsaMga kA mAhaula to ye (pUrvAzrama kI) bAteM bhagavAna ke vahA~ durgaMdha detI hai| aisI (pUrvAzrama kI bAteM) pahale ke jJAniyoM meM thIM yA nahIM, vaha zaMkAspada hai|

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[9] kuTuMba - cacere bhAI-bhatIje jJAnI bhI khilaunA, blaDa rilezana ke prati nahIM hai khiMcAva praznakartA : jJAnI ko jo bhI parijana milate haiM unake sAtha pahale kA kitanA RNAnubaMdha hotA hai ? pUrva kA RNAnubaMdha kitanA iphekTa karatA hai ? aura kyA jJAnI ko unake prati khiMcAva rahatA hai ? dAdAzrI : ve bhI khilaunA aura jJAnI bhI khilaunA / jJAnI ko bahuta AkarSaNa nahIM rahatA, cuMbaka aura Alapina jitanA AkarSaNa rahatA hai I praznakartA: aisA ! dAdAzrI : blaDa rilezana hai na! gyAraha pIr3hi se hamArA eka hI gA~va aba bolo, blaDa rilezana hai yA nahIM ? praznakartA: pakkI taraha se / I dAdAzrI : hamAre yahA~ donoM muhalle hamAre hI kuTuMba vAloM ke the praznakartA : hA~, to nAgajI bhAI (gyArahavIM pIr3hI ke paradAdA) ke sAmane hama saba eka hI haiN| dAdAzrI : sahI hai / taba eka vyakti ne mujhase kahA ki, 'maiM to juA khelatA hU~ aura aisA saba karatA hU~ aura ramI khelatA hU~' / 'are, koI bAta nahIM, baiTha / tU saba khelatA hai lekina jIvita hai na ! mujhe milA hai na, terA

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292 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) kAma ho jaaegaa'| kisI parezAnI kI vajaha se aisA rAstA apanA liyA becAre ne| to kyA isakA matalaba yaha hai ki vaha iMsAna nahIM rahA? ye pazA bhAI DaoNkTara bane aura unake cAcA kA beTA kisI dUsare rAste para calA gayA to kyA isakA matalaba aisA hai ki vaha iMsAna nahIM rahA? to kyA phaimilI meM se nikala gayA? kyA use hameM nikAla denA cAhie? praznakartA : lekina vaha to aisA hai ki jaba taka yaha zarIra hai taba taka sabhI haiN| dAdAzrI : rilezana hai na! blaDa rilezana hai| Apane kahA na, 'maiM bhAdaraNa ke muhalle kA huuN'| yAnI bar3I khar3akI vAle merI caudaha pIr3hiyoM ke rilezana meM haiN| Apa dasavIM yA gyArahavIM pIr3hI meM Ate hoMge na? rilezana hai na? praznakartA : bhAdaraNa meM do khar3akiyA~ (muhalle) haiM, eka choTI aura eka bdd'ii| dAdAzrI : ThIka hai| bar3I khar3akI vAle mere caudahavIM pIr3hI ke saMbaMdhI haiM, to Apake saMbaMdha kucha do-tIna pIr3hI kama hoMge, lekina hama saba eka hI haiM na? judAI hai hI nahIM na? isa chaThI pIr3hI ke hama cAcA bne| kisI kI ATha pIr3hiyA~ hai, kisI kI sAta pIr3hiyA~ hai aura vaha bhI sirpha yahA~ para vyavahAra ke lie hii| yadi jhagar3A vagairaha ho jAe taba phira tu kauna aura maiM kauna? yahA~ to bApa ke sAtha bhI jhagar3A ho jAtA hai taba kyA hotA hai? ahaMkAra kI lar3AI lekina kapaTa nahIM hone se ekatA praznakartA : lar3AI bhI bahuta hotI hai, dAdA? dAdAzrI : vaha to, ghar3I bhara meM, jaba ve khuza-khuza hoM taba, aisA bhI kahate haiM ki 'ye mere cAcA lagate haiM, mere phAdara ke cAcA haiM, aura kucha logoM ne apane khar3akI (muhalle) vAle ko TokA ki yaha aMbAlAla

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 293 to... to phira vApasa mana meM aisA hotA hai ki bahuta roTara (nAlAyaka) iMsAna hai yh| yAnI ki rilezana meM to saba aisA hI hai! hama bhI aisA hI karate the bacapana meN| sabhI kA aisA hI svabhAva thaa| ye saba cAcA ke beTe ekadama tez2a svabhAva vAle, pA~ca minaTa meM jhagar3a par3ate aura dasa minaTa meM vApasa sAtha meM khAne baiTha jAte haiM! praznakartA : Aja aisA kaha rahe the ki 'bAhara jhagar3A karate haiM lekina phira ghara Akara kucha bhI nhiiN| dAdAzrI : usI kSaNa, turaMta hI AiskrIma khAne baiTha jAte haiN| sArA jhagar3A-vagar3A, 'tujhe kauna pUchatA hai' aisA kahate haiM! aMdara se saaph| thor3I dera bAda kucha bhI nhiiN| lekina bhArI ldd'aakuu| koI to aisA samajhe ki 'aba yaha ghara TUTa gyaa| paccIsa sAla meM bhI eka nahIM ho pAe~ge ye log'| lekina jaba vaha vApasa AtA thA taba usake sAtha baiThakara khAnA khAte the to vaha vyakti bhI soca meM par3a jAtA ki 'kisa taraha ke loga haiM ye!' bahuta kama loga aise hote haiN| praznakartA : maiM usake mu~ha para hI kaha detA hU~, vaha bhI mujhe mu~ha para kaha detA hai| pIche se kucha bhI nhiiN| dAdAzrI : hA~! kapaTa nhiiN| varnA mana TUTa jAtA hai, isameM mana nahIM ttuutttaa| praznakartA : kapaTa vAlA ho to mana TUTa jAtA hai ? dAdAzrI : TUTa jAtA hai| yaha to sApha, pyor| sirpha ahaMkAra hI bahuta bhaarii| praznakartA : lekina jo kapaTa vAlA hotA hai vaha jhagar3A nahIM krtaa| jhagar3e ko sameTa letA hai| dAdAzrI : nahIM karatA, lekina yadi ho jAe to usakA kyA kare?

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294 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) jAna-bUjhakara nahIM karatA lekina ho jAtA hai, agara sAmane vAle ko karanA ho to ho jAtA hai| hameM nahIM karanA hotA, lekina sAmane vAle ko karanA hotA hai| bhatIje bar3e lekina vinaya bahuta rakhate the hamArA ye to, kucha kSaNa bAda kucha bhI nhiiN| inake (bhatIje ke) phAdara (kaz2ina bradara) se maiM bahuta lar3atA thaa| ve loga yaha saba dekhate the| bIsa sAla bar3e the phira bhI aise-aise zabda kaha detA thaa| praznakartA : bIsa sAla bar3e the| dAdAzrI : sabhI bhatIje bahuta lAyaka the| ye to eka akSara bhI nahIM bolate the| aisA vinaya kahA~ se lAe~ ? eka-do loga to mujhase bhI baDe the, rAvajI bhAI choTe the| 'do bhAI bola rahe hoM to hameM bIca meM nahIM bolanA cAhie' aisA kahate the aura hamAre bhAI bhI kahate the, 'ai! kyoM bolA? hama donoM cAhe kucha bhI boleN'| mere bhAI jaisA bhAI kisI ko bhI nahIM milegaa| praznakartA : vaha to maiMne dekhA hai daadaa| usa dina jaba Apa Ae the na, taba rAvajI cAcA pAsa meM baiThe hue the| phira vallabha cAcA Ae to ve uThakara eka tarapha cale ge| rAta ko bhI aisA kiyA ki jaba vallabha cAcA Ae, taba khuda uThakara unheM jagaha kara dii| dAdAzrI : hA~, bhatIje lagate haiM lekina mujhase tIna sAla bar3e haiM na! praznakartA : Apake lie to jagaha banA dI lekina vallabha cAcA ke lie bhI banA dii| dAdAzrI : banA hI deMge na, vallabha bhAI bar3e haiM na! unake phAdara, jaba kahIM zAdI vagairaha hotI thI na, taba unake phAdara ke khAnA khAne ke bAda merI bArI AtI to hama pUche bagaira nahIM baiThate the| hameM vahIM baiThane jAnA par3atA thaa|

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 295 agara bAhara vAlA koI kucha kahe to sahana nahIM hotA thA agara koI (hamAre lie) z2arA sA bhI Ter3hA bola de na, to hamAre bhatIje usase lar3ane laga jAte the, 'mere cAcA kA nAma liyA? jAnatA hai, mere cAcA kauna haiM?' are, yoM to mere sAtha khadabada karate jAte haiN| eka hI khUna thA na! khUna khaula uThatA thaa| praznakartA : dAdA, aisA kyoM hotA hai ? kyA khUna kA riztA aisA karavAtA hai? dAdAzrI : khUna kA riztA aisA hI hotA hai hmeshaa| praznakartA : do bhAI yA do bahana cAhe kitanA bhI eka-dUsare ko dhikkAreM lekina agara koI tIsarA kucha kahe to sahana nahIM hotaa| dAdAzrI : blaDa rilezana meM kSaNa bhara meM ekadama rAga ho jAtA hai lekina samAnatA nahIM rhtii| bAhara samAnatA rahatI hai, ekadama rAga bhI nahIM aura dveSa bhI nhiiN| ye to ghar3I bhara meM kahate haiM ki, 'Apake bagaira mujhe acchA nahIM lgtaa'| aura phira ghar3I bhara meM kahate haiM, 'tujhe dekhate hI mujhe cir3ha macatI hai| aise haiM ye rAga-dveSa / blaDa rilezana kA kAma hI aisA hai| hama lar3a rahe haiM, usameM Apa bIca meM par3ane vAle kauna? agara tIsarA koI bole to usase jhagar3A karane jaate| yaha saba dekhane jaisA hai| agara do loga aMdara-aMdara lar3a rahe hoM aura unheM haTAnA ho na to aisA tarIkA apanAtA hU~, taba unakA lar3anA baMda ho jAtA hai aura ve tIsare se lar3ane laga jaate| vahA~ una donoM ke bIca kI lar3AI to ruka gii| maiM gAr3I dUsarI paTarI para car3hA detA thaa| ___ yaha gAr3I isa paTarI para calAne ke bajAya usa paTarI para calI to calI gaadd'ii| hamane logoM se kahA ki, 'merI gAr3I ko aba koI dUsarI paTarI para mata le jaanaa'| maiM to hamezA jAgRta hU~ isalie maiM pUchatA hU~ ki 'paTarI badalane AyA hai?'

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296 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) cacere bhAIyoM meM thI z2abaradasta spardhA praznakartA : cacere bhAI the to kyA isalie aisA saba calatA hI rahatA thA? dAdAzrI : ye saba cacere bhAI haiN| cacere bhAI kA matalaba kyA? kuTI huI raaii| rAyate meM DAlanA par3atA hai na? praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : to jisameM DAlo, usameM unakA svAda A jAtA hai| nahIM dekhA? Apake cacere bhAI to acche hoMge, hamAre cacere bhAIyoM ko to agara Apane dekhA ho to patA cala jaataa| hA~, hamAre paTeloM meM cacere bhAIyoM meM to bahuta spardhA rahatI hai, j'brdst| unase maiM bar3A aura mujhase ve bar3e, aisI hI spardhA... hamAre eka cacere bhAI mila mAlika the na, bharuca mila vAle. to unhoMne kahA ki, 'dAdA, Apa to bhagavAna bana gae aura yaha saba....' yAnI ki ve paisoM ke bAre meM mujhase spardhA karane jAte the| khUna eka thA na isalie joza A jAtA thA unheM, 'hama unase kama nahIM haiN| isalie mujhase kahA, 'abhI use eka lAkha die hai| aura pA~ca lAkha dUsare ko dene haiN| maiMne kahA, 'Apa to seTha iMsAna ho isalie Apa de sakate ho| mere pAsa lakSmI AI hI nahIM isalie maiM nahIM de sktaa'| maiMne kahA, "bhAI, dekho! Apa to karor3apati ho aura maiM to jaise-taise karake, apanA yaha kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma karake dina guz2AratA huuN| hamAre pAsa karor3oM nahIM haiN| merI Apase koI spardhA nahIM hai| agara Apa kaho ki 'Apake pAsa nahIM hai to maiM kahU~gA, 'nahIM hai| aura agara Apa kahoge ki 'Apake pAsa hai to maiM kahU~gA, 'hai'| mujhe Apase koI tamagA (meDala) nahIM lenA hai, mujhe to bhagavAna se tamagA lenA hai| mere pAsa jo hai vaha Apake pAsa nahIM hai aura usameM maiM koI spardhA nahIM karanA caahtaa| kyoMki maiM to pUre jagat kA ziSya banakara ghUma rahA huuN| maiM kisI kA guru banane ke lie nahIM ghUma rhaa|" yAnI ki maiM to sahI bAta kaha detA huuN| aisA rakhatA hU~ tAki ve isa taraha mujhase spardhA nahIM kareM lekina phira bhI spardhA chor3ate nahIM haiM na! ye merA nAma

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 297 dekhate haiM na, nyUz2a pepara meM AtA hai roz2a, dAdA bhagavAna / to hamArA blaDa eka hI hai na, to unase sahana nahIM hotA isalie Akhira taka spardhA / iMsAna spardhA meM se bAhara nikala jAe to usakA bahuta kAma ho jaae| mujhase spardhA karo aura Age Ao praznakartA : lekina dAdA, spardhA DevelapamenTa kI sTeja to hai na? dAdAzrI : hai| DevelapamenTa hotA hai| lekina DevelapamenTa kaba hotA hai? jaba spardhA meM sAmane vAle kI zaktiyoM ko dabAe~ nahIM aura usakI zaktiyA~ bar3ha rahI hoM to bar3hane deN| ye sabhI spardhA vAle to kyA karate haiM? khuda Age bar3hane ke lie sAmane vAle kI zaktiyoM ko phrekcara kara dete haiN| lekina maiMne to bacapana se hI eka niyama rakhA thA ki maiM apane bhatIje, AsapAsa ke sarkala vAloM se, sabhI se kaha detA thA ki Apako jitanI z2arUrata ho utanI helpa karU~gA, vyavahAra meM hI to| taba yaha jJAna nahIM thaa| vyavahAra meM to sabhI ko spardhA rahatI hI hai na! sabhI bhatIjoM se maiMne kaha diyA thA ki, 'Apako jo cAhe vaha dU~gA lekina mere sAtha spardhA karo aura maiM yahA~ taka bhI dekhane ke lie taiyAra hU~ ki Apa Age Akara apane sIMga se mujhe mAro, lekina maz2abUta bno| Apake sIMga bar3ha jAe~ aura una sIMgoM se mujhe mAroge to bhI mujhe harja nahIM hai lekina Apa sIMga vAle bno| yAnI ki aise zaktizAlI bno| pIche mata httnaa'| maiMne aisI chUTa dI thI sabhI ko| pIche rahane ke bajAya ve Age bar3heM to acchA hai| pIche rahegA to hameM jhaMjhaTa karanI pdd'egii| apane Apa hI bar3he to acchA hai na? praznakartA : hA~, daadaa| dAdAzrI : jabaki loga to pIche dhakelane ke tarIke khojate rahate haiN| maiMne kyA kahA thA ki AI vila helpa yuu| maiMne pUrI jiMdagI aisA hI rkhaa| sAmane vAle kI jisa zakti kI prazaMsA karate haiM, vaha khuda ko prApta hotI hai praznakartA : mujha meM bhI aisA kahane kI zakti AegI?

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jJAnI puruSa (bhAga - 1) dAdAzrI : hA~-hA~ / aisA dekhoge to AegI hI n| ye saba mujhase kahate haiM ki 'dAdA, aisI zakti hama meM kaba AegI ?' maiMne kahA ki jitane bhI zaktizAlI loga haiM, agara hama unakI prazaMsA kareMge ki 'oho ! kitanI acchI zakti hai !' to vaha prApta ho jAegI, basa / duniyA kA yahI niyama hai| zakti use pachAr3ane se prApta nahIM hogii| aisA nahIM hogA ki use pachAr3ane se Apa Age A pAoge / usakI prazaMsA karoge, use Age bar3hane doge to Apa bhI Age bar3hoge / spardhA aisI honI cAhie ki usakI prazaMsA karake Apa Age bddh'o| agara usakI niMdA karake, use Diprezana meM DAlakara, use ulTe rAste para DAla deM to use spardhA nahIM kheNge| spardhA yAnI ki 'help'|'tuu apanI taraha se cala, tujhe jo bhI helpa cAhie, maiM vaha duuNgaa| aba tU bhI spardhA meM A jA' / 298 hamane to bacapana se hI isa taraha se helpa karanA taya kiyA thA lekina ina saba bujurgoM ko maiMne dekhA hai| z2arA sA bhI koI Age bar3hane lage ki mAra- Thokakara, dhakkA mArakara use pachAr3a dete haiM aura agara koI pIche raha jAe to use Age le Ate haiM, aura use kahate haiM ki, 'mere pIche rahanA' / yaha saba galata hI hai na! DevelapamenTa kI kitanI kamI hai yaha! mujhe bahuta cir3ha macatI hai ki ye kaise loga haiM ? agara mujhe sIMga mAroge to mujhe aisA lagegA ki yaha samajhadAra hai, lekina Apa mujhase Age bddh'o| binA taule-binA nApe vApasa kara detA hU~ praznakartA : Apane kahA na ki kuTuMba meM aMdara hI aMdara kucha dera meM jhagar3e ho jAte haiM to usa samaya jJAna se pahale Apa kyA karate the ? dAdAzrI : eka kue~ meM hamAre bujurgoM kA hissA thA to ve AmanesAmane gAliyA~ dete the, ve maiMne kucha suna lIM / phira ve loga korTa meM gae to saba aisA hI thA, jhagar3e hI jhagar3e aura phira eka bhI ho jAte the| eka hI muhalle ke the na, to vApasa eka ho jAte lekina lar3ate bhI the / jaba lar3ate the to bar3A - bar3A, choTA nahIM / nobiliTI se! kamI nahIM rakhate the /

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 299 praznakartA : binA taule, binA naape| dAdAzrI : hA~, binA taule aura binA naape| hamArA eka bhatIjA thaa| vaha jaba bhI AtA thA na, taba vaha kucha na kucha bolate hue hI AtA thaa| isalie jaba usake jAne kA samaya hotA thA taba maiM kahatA ki, 4 'Apa apanI poTalI le jaao| vahA~ rakhI hai !' taba vaha kahatA thA, 'poTalI meM to kucha bhI nahIM hai, vaha to sirpha thailI hI hai'| maiMne kahA, 'lekina aMdara sAmAna thA na !' vaha jo usakA binA taule- binA nApe diyA hotA thA na, to maiM vApasa usameM rakha detA thA, maiM use kahA~ saMbhAlakara rakhU~? maiM usakA cAcA lagatA thA, lekina vaha mujhe binA taule de detA thaa| aba kyA ho sakatA hai ? cAcA bane haiM to aisA bolatA hI na ! yadi koI bAhara vAlA aisA bole to mArate yA phira usase jhagar3A karate yA kisI bhI taraha usakA nipaTArA karate lekina isameM to apane se kucha nahIM ho sakatA thaa| praznakartA : lekina dAdA, svIkAra nahIM kareMge to vApasa usI ko milegA na ? yadi sAmane vAlA svIkAra nahIM karegA to kisake pAsa jAegA? dene vAle ke pAsa hI calA jAegA na ? dAdAzrI : vaha alaga bAta hai, vaha jJAna kI bAta ho gaI / una dinoM jJAna kI bAta nahIM thI na ! yaha to taba kI bAta hai jina dinoM merI umra paccIsa sAla thii| lekina itanA samajha gayA thA ki cAhe kucha bhI ho lekina jinakI dukAna meM jo mAla hai, loga vahI deNge| ve becAre jo bhI dete haiM, use rakha dete the phira aura (unake) vApasa jAte samaya kahate the ki, ' le jA terA' / praznakartA : vaha ThIka hai, vApasa de dene kI bAta / dAdAzrI : bekAra hI, yaha binA taula vAlA / Apako koI dekara gayA hai binA taule ? praznakartA: nahIM, abhI taka to nahIM diyA / dAdAzrI : to ThIka hai| bAkI, yaha duniyA to binA taule de jAtI hai|

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300 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdA ke sakhta zabda utAreM nazA praznakartA : dAdA, Apa bhI una logoM se lar3ate hoMge na? dAdAzrI : eka chattIsa sAla kA bI.kaoNma taka par3hA huA bar3A oNphisara thA, hamAre bhatIje kA beTA, to maiM usakA dAdA hotA thaa| usa z2amAne meM to agara koI bI.kaoNma taka par3hA ho to bahuta bar3A oNphisara mAnA jAtA thaa| vaha Akara mujhase kahane lagA ki, 'dAdAjI, merI madara kA dehAMta ho gayA hai phira bhI mujhe abhI kahanA par3a rahA hai ki ve bahuta pakSapAtI thiiN'| yaha jJAna hone ke do sAla pahale kI bAta hai| taba jJAna nahIM huA thA aura mujhe kisI bhI bAta kA javAba dene kI prekTisa thI isalie phira maiMne use kahA, 'terI mA~ ne pakSapAta kiyA hai vaha bAta terI dRSTi se sahI hai bhAI, lekina terI mAtA jI ne tere lie kyA kiyA hai, vaha aba maiM batAtA huuN| terI mAtA jI ne nau mahIne tujhe peTa meM rakhA thA aura phira aThAraha sAla taka pille kI taraha tumheM apane pIche-pIche ghumAyA, to Aja kyA aisA hai ki terI mA~ kharAba hai aura terI vAipha acchI? are, vacana kI tulanA karanA nahIM AtA tujhe? kyA patnI kI bAta hI sahI hai? guru (patnI) ne jaisA sikhAyA vaisA sIkha rahA hai tU! nau mahIne tujhe peTa meM rakhane vAlA kauna thA, batA? itane bar3e oNphisara ko! aura nau mahIne ArAma kiyA usakA tUne kirAyA-virAyA bhI nahIM diyA unheN| usake bAda kabhI nahIM bolaa| are, aisA kahIM bolanA cAhie? aisA kaisA? mA~ to mA~ hI kahalAegI na!' lekina yaha dekho na! kahatA hai, 'merI mA~ ne pakSapAta kiyA,' aisA kabhI kahanA cAhie? yadi kiyA ho phira bhI nahIM kahanA caahie| madara to madara hai| Apako kyA lagatA hai? praznakartA : sahI hai| dAdAzrI : usake bAda usane dobArA kabhI nahIM khaa| mere ye sakhta zabda sune na, to usakI dRSTi badala gii| phira cAra-pA~ca bAra mujhase kahA, 'merI mA~ aisI nahIM hai'| vaha to patnI kA nazA car3ha gayA thaa| patnI kA nazA car3ha jAe, taba phira to kyA ho sakatA hai ? aura patnI ke naze meM

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 301 vacana kI tulanA karane baiTha gayA! lekina nazA utAra diyA ekadama se, maar-tthokkr| jaba maiMne usase aisA kahA, taba merI vAipha vahIM para khar3I thIM to merI vAipha ne kahA, 'aisA nahIM kahanA caahie'| maiMne kahA, 'to phira kyA kahanA cAhie? usakA roga nahIM nikAlA to phira maiM dAdA kaisA? dAdA banA huuN'| aura zabda bhI kaise bole! aise zabda kisI ne kahe hoMge ki 'nau mahIne terI mA~ ne tujhe peTa meM rakhA thA, maiM jAnatA huuN'| aisA mu~ha para kahA, lekina usakA roga nikala gyaa| nazA utara hI jAegA na! hamAre ye sakhta zabda nazA utArane ke lie haiN| isa sakhtI meM aura kucha bhI nahIM thaa| yaha nazA utArane kI davAI hai! yaha to nirA nazA, nazA, nazA! praznakartA : cupar3ane kI pI lI hai na? dAdAzrI : cupar3ane kI pI gae, kyA ho sakatA hai phira? praznakartA : isalie dAdA, patnI kA kahA sunanA hI nahIM cAhie na? dAdAzrI : yaha to tujhe samajhanA cAhie yA nahIM? jaba patnI Ae taba vApasa badala nahIM jAegA na? aisA! sacamuca pakkA hai tU! guru (patnI) kA bhI sunanA hai| aisA nahIM hai ki guru kA sunanA hI nahIM hai, lekina agara (kisI bAta meM) mukara jAne ko kahe to vahA~ para nhiiN| praznakartA : isIlie do kAna die haiM na, daadaa| eka kAna se sunakara dUsare kAna se nikAlane ke lie| dAdAzrI : hA~, pakkA baniyA bhAI! kaha rahA hai, do kAna isIlie die haiN| Apa samajhe na? __apane mahAtmA vyavahAra meM bhI duHkhI na hoM, aise sAre rAste batAte haiN| apane khuda ke mA~-bApa cAhe kaise bhI hoM phira bhI strI (patnI) kA mAneM hI kyoM? Apako kaisA lagatA hai ? praznakartA : ThIka hai, sahI bAta hai|

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302 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : to aba mA~-bApa kI sevA karanA ThIka se| bAra-bAra yaha lAbha nahIM milegaa| sira duHkha jAe aise zabda bola dete the jJAna se pahale hameM pahale ulTA bolane kI bahuta Adata thI, ulTA-sIdhA bolane kI aadt| ulTA yAnI ki sira duHkha jAe, vaisA ulttaa| heDeka ho jAe, aise zabda the hmaare| kaise? praznakartA : heddek| dAdAzrI : hA~, to hamAre cacere bhAI hama se bIsa sAla bar3e the, bIsa nahIM, paccIsa saal| yadi Aja hote to 95 sAla ke hote, eka dina ve Ae, poTalI lekr| taba maiM bA ke sAtha baiThA thaa| yaha to hamArI heDeka kI bAta batA rahA hU~, hamArI kaisI dazA thI! sunanA hai sabhI ko? praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : aisA? hA~, sabhI sahamata hoM tabhI, varnA yaha koI batAne jaisI bAta nahIM hai| taba maiMne bA se kahA, 'Apake bhatIje Ae haiN| isa taraha se kahA tAki ve bhAI suna leM, unheM gussA dilavAne ke lie| maiM samajha gayA ki ve kisalie Ae haiM ! ramaNa kI zAdI thI, aura bArAta dharmaja jAne vAlI thii| inheM vahA~ para nahIM jAnA thA isalie yahA~ A ge| unhoMne muMbaI meM kAma hai aisA bahAnA bnaayaa| unhoMne kahA, 'mujhe vahA~ muMbaI jAkara saba ThIka karanA hai na, isalie muMbaI jAnA hai| ve bahAnA banAkara ghara se nikale to maiM samajha gayA ki inhoMne bahAnA banAyA hai| maiM jAnatA thA ki ina donoM ke bIca parezAnI huI hogI isa baar| isalie maiMne bA se kahA, 'ye Apake bhatIje Ae haiM!' unhoMne kahA, 'are, bA ne mujhe dekha liyA hai, to tU aisA kyoM kaha rahA hai? bIca meM akla kyoM lar3A rahA hai'| taba maiMne kahA, 'maiM samajha gayA hU~, Apa kyoM Ae haiN'| taba unhoMne kahA, 'batA

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 303 kyA hai ? tU kyA samajha gayA?' maiMne kahA, 'Apa kahIM para jAne ke lie Ae ho?' taba kahA, 'merA iMjana bigar3a gayA hai isalie mujhe muMbaI jAnA hI par3egA na?' bA ke sAmane maiMne kahA, 'maiM kahA~ manA kara rahA hU~? lekina isa bur3hApe para dhUla giregii'| umra se bujurga, vRddha iMsAna, kuTuMba meM mAnanIya, itanI umra thI phira bhI aisA khaa| bA bhI parezAna ho gaIM ki 'yaha kyA kaha rahA hai, aMbAlAla!' taba unhoMne mujhase kahA, 'le phira, rahane dI yaha pottlii| abhI vApasa vahA~ bArAta meM jaauuNgaa'| lekina bAda meM gae the vahA~ pr| aise the hamAre saba bhAI! nahIM, lekina kitane sakhta zabda kahe the! vaha saba kAma kA nahIM hai na! aisA hone ke bAda matabheda bar3ha jAtA hai na! aura phira matabheda kA ilAja karane jAe, taba phaz2ItA ho jAtA hai| vaha bhI Azcarya hai lekina, ve kahate haiM, 'yaha poTalI rahane dii| le, kala subaha maiM vahA~ para jaauuNgaa| kyA aba tujhe koI Apatti hai ?' maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, taba to koI Apatti nahIM hai| ve vahA~ para ge| yoM hama DA~Tate bhI the| hamAre cacere bhAIyoM ke yahA~ zAdI byAha hote the, taba ve kyA karate the? khAnA khAte samaya unakA pIr3hA mere sAtha rakhate the| rAvajI bhAI seTha ne sabhI se kaha diyA thA ki, 'mere bhAI kA pIr3hA mere sAtha rhegaa'| aMta taka maryAdA kA bahuta dhyAna rkhaa| choTA thA na, maiM saba kA choTA bhAI lagatA thaa| mere sAta-ATha cacere bhAI the| bhAbhiyA~ bhI bahuta dekhI thIM, una saba ne bhI choTA devara, pyArA-pyArA karake bahuta lAr3a se pAlA thA mujhe| isa taraha bar3A kiyA thA isalie miz2Aja bhara gayA thA, usakA pAvara thA aMdara, pAvara! to heDeka ho jAe aisI bhASA thI! kaisI? lekina dekho aba bhASA sudhara gaI hai na? bhagavAna (jJAna) ke hAz2ira hone ke bAda yaha bhASA sudhara gaI hai| bAkI saba prakAra se bahuta samajhadAra the| pahale bhagavAna nahIM bane the (jJAna nahIM thA) taba bhI samajhadAra the lekina bhASA aisI thI ki heDeka ho jaae| sira duHkha jAe aisI bhASA thii|

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304 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) velDiMga karane vAlA hamezA mAra hI khAtA hai praznakartA : dAdA, vaha to Apane acchA hI kiyA thA na! una logoM ke jhagar3e na bar3he isalie Apane velDiMga kara dii| dAdAzrI : hA~, lekina 'velDiMga' karane se mAra par3atI hai, aura agara 'velDiMga' nahIM kareM to 'Aie cAcA, Aie cAcA' kreNge| lekina mArakara sabhI ne vairAgya bar3hAyA na! phira kula milAkara hameM kyA milA? vairAgya milA, nahIM to vairAgya to AtA hI nahIM hai na! isa duniyA para vairAgya kaise AegA? kyA Apako thor3A-bahuta vairAgya AtA hai? isa duniyA meM 'velDiMga' karane meM to hamezA mAra hI khAnI par3egI aura usake bAda vairAgya AegA ki 'ina donoM ke sukha ke lie 'velDiMga' kI, phira bhI hameM mAra hI par3I!' yoM hamane behisAba mAra khAI hai! bhatIje ne saMyogavaza kucha aisA kahA hogA praznakartA : parivAra meM sAmane vAle ke lie acchA karane gae phira bhI mAra pdd'ii| aise samaya meM Apa kyA samajha hAz2ira rakhate the? dAdAzrI : hamAre bhatIje cimana bhAI para karjA ho gayA thaa| to unakA ghara nIlAma ho rahA thA, to loga usake lie ikaTThe hue| taba mujhe aisA lagA ki inake bacce kyA kareMge? beghara ho jaaeNge| to nIlAmI meM vaha ghara maiMne rakha liyaa| agale hI dina eka vyakti ahamadAbAda meM cimana bhAI ke vahA~ gyaa| mUlataH to bhAdaraNa meM cimana bhAI kI iz2z2ata khatma ho hI cukI thI to phira vaha iz2z2ata khatma karane ahamadAbAda gyaa| pA~ca-sAta loga baiThe hue the aura cimana bhAI se kahA, 'are! cimana bhAI, bhAdaraNa vAlA terA ghara nIlAma ho gayA hai aura tere cAcA aMbAlAla ne kharIdA hai'| taba cimana bhAI ne turaMta hI kahA ki, 'usameM unhoMne nayA kyA kiyA? mujhe aMbAlAla cAcA se ATha-dasa haz2Ara lene haiN'| to vaha vyakti vApasa hamAre ghara AyA aura jaba bA baiThe the taba unhoMne yaha bAta zurU kii| maiM sAvadhAna ho gayA aura samajha gayA ki yaha vApasa mere ghara meM jhagar3A krvaaegaa|

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 305 taba maiMne dUsarI kucha bAteM karanA zurU kara diyaa| maiMne usakI bAta ko TAlane kA prayatna kiyaa| phira bhI usane kahA ki, 'bhaaii| maiM ahamadAbAda gayA thA aura acAnaka cimana bhAI mila ge| ve to aisA kaha rahe the ki aMbAlAla bhAI ke pAsa mere hI ATha-dasa haz2Ara rupae udhAra par3e hue haiN| maiM turaMta hI samajha gayA ki 'cimana bhAI ne kisI saMyogavaza aisA kahA hogA, varnA cimana bhAI aisA kaheM hI nhiiN'| taba maiMne use kahA ki 'hogA, hisAba meM jo hogA vaha ThIka hai| vaha to bahIkhAte meM unakA jo lenA nikalatA hogA, vaha to hogA hI na!' isa taraha ke jhaMjhaTa paidA karane vAle loga hote haiM! z2arUrata lAyaka paise lie, isalie vaha cora nahIM praznakartA : jJAna se pahale bhI ApakI aisI samajha thii| yaha to z2abaradasta nobilITI kahI jAegI! parivAra kI aisI anya bAteM hoM to batAie na, daadaa| dAdAzrI : hamAre mAmA kA eka beTA thaa| usake pAsa jaba kharca karane ko paise nahIM hote the to merI jeba meM se nikAla letA thaa| maiM dekhatA thA ki pacAsa rupae meM se tIsa hI bace haiM, bIsa kahA~ gae hoMge? lekina agara lene vAlA cora hotA to sabhI le jAtA, ataH yaha mere bhAI kA hI kAma hai| maiM zurU se, aMdara hI aMdara, ise jAnatA thA ki isake pAsa paisoM kI kamI hai aura isI ne lie hoNge| usane kaI bAra aisA kiyA phira bhI maiMne use kabhI kucha bhI nahIM khaa| mAmA kA beTA thA, kyA usakI ijjata bigAr3anI cAhie? use hamArI jeba meM hAtha DAlane kA adhikAra hai| aura kauna DAla sakatA hai? to vaha kyA karatA thA? kaI dinoM se paise le jA rahA thaa| hIrA bA ko bhI nahIM btaayaa| hIrA bA bhI gussA ho jaatiiN| yAnI ki agale dina jaba jeba dekhane para dasa kA noTa kama hotA thA, taba maiM samajha jAtA thA ki ye bhAI le ge| khAnadAnI iMsAna ko parezAna karanA galata hai taba ye nIrU bahana mujhase kahatI haiM ki, 'phira Apa unase kucha bhI

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jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) nahIM kahate the ?' maiMne kahA, 'kyA kahanA ?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'kyA corI karanA acchI bAta hai ?' maiMne kahA, 'vaha corI nahIM karatA thaa| khAnadAnI iMsAna kA beTA corI nahIM karatA' / 306 vaha corI nahIM karatA thA / loga use 'cora' kaha sakate haiM, lekina maiM 'cora' nahIM khuuNgaa| khAnadAnI iMsAna kA beTA, corI kaise kara sakatA hai? taba unhoMne mujhase pUchA, 'to phira vaha kyA karatA thA?' maiMne kahA, 'mA~gane kI khAnadAniyata ke bajAya lene kI khAnadAniyata acchI hai'| vaha mA~ga nahIM sakatA thA, hAtha nahIM phailA sakatA thA, khAnadAnI puruSa thA isalie... praznakartA : hA~, hAtha nahIM phailA sakate / mA~gane kI khAnadAnI nahIM pusAtI ! dAdAzrI : to isalie mujhe bhI acchA lagatA thA / 'tU le rahA hai, vaha ThIka hai' aisA kahatA thA / 'terI khAnadAniyata aisI nahIM hai ki tU maaNge| svAbhAvika rUpa se maiM samajhatA hU~ ki mA~ganA aura maranA samAna hai ' bhAI mujhe dasa rupae dIjie' isa taraha mA~ga nahIM sakatA thA isalie nikAla die| bhAI kA lene meM gunAha nahIM hai, mAmA kA beTA lagatA hai I na! praznakartA : hA~, haaN| dAdAzrI : cora kise kahate haiM ? dasa nahIM letA, sATha rupae pUre hI le letA hai| praznakartA : hA~, cora use kahate haiM ki jo pUrA le jAe / dAdAzrI : tIna sau par3e the, phira bhI usane pA~ca hI lie / praznakartA : hA~, z2arUrata lAyaka hI lie / dAdAzrI : maiM samajha bhI jAtA thA ki yaha le gayA / aura phira vaha mere sAmane dekhatA thA ki " abhI kaheMge, mujhe DA~TeMge ki 'are, tUne Aja hAtha DAlA thA na!" maiMne kahA, 'nahIM bhAI, maiM nahIM khuuNgaa'| aura phira

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 307 usa becAre khAnadAnI iMsAna ko parezAna karanA bhI burA dikhegA na! khAnadAnI vyakti se eksepTa karavAnA to gunAha hai| usase unakI bhI iz2z2ata rahI aura merI bhI ataH maiM to aisA kaha hI nahIM sakatA thA na ki 'tU isa taraha se paise mata nikaalnaa'| usase usakI bhI iz2z2ata rahI aura merI bhii| aisA mA~gane vAlA nahIM thA vaha ki hama se maaNgtaa| ye saba to aise haiM ki jo kabhI hAtha nA phailaaeN| ___ maiMne kisI ko sAdhAraNa taura para yaha bAta batAI, to unhoMne mujhase kahA ki, 'use kaha denA cAhie thaa| DA~TanA cAhie thA use| corI karanA sIkha rahA hai'| mere mAmA kA beTA cora hai ? kaise iMsAna ho? lekina vaha to cupacApa nikAla letA hai na!' taba maiMne kahA, 'to kyA mujhase bhIkha mA~gegA ki bhAI, mujhe bIsa rupae do'| yaha to kSatriyaputra hai| kaisA hai? vaha hAtha nahIM phailAegA, isalie maiMne bhI calane diyaa| aura kisI jagaha se nahIM legA, lekina kyA mere yahA~ para haqa nahIM hai use? praznakartA : lekina una bhAI ne kahA thA na ki, 'lU~ nahIM to aura kyA karU~?' dAdAzrI : aura kauna detA? bhAI nahIM detA, koI bhI nahIM detA! praznakartA : aura kisI se mA~gatA bhI nhiiN| dAdAzrI : nahIM mA~gatA, hAtha nahIM phailAtA thaa| maiM kyoM usase aisA kahU~ ki 'tU kyoM nikAla letA hai?' aura use cora sAbita karU~? aise khAnadAnI mA~-bApa kA beTA jinakI caukhaTa para loga kanyA dene ko taiyAra haiM! caukhaTa ko kanyA dete haiM, iMsAna ko nhiiN| kyA mujhe use cora siddha karanA thA? Apako kaisA lagatA hai ? agara z2arUrata hai to nikAla le| basa, aura kucha jyAdA nahIM na! yaha to unakA eka likhane lAyaka itihAsa hai| vaha cora nahIM hai, use mA~ganA nahIM AtA yadi koI kahe ki 'Apake mAmA kA beTA corI kyoM karatA hai?'

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308 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) taba maiM kahU~gA, 'khAnadAnI hai islie| nAlAyaka hotA to corI nahIM krtaa| agara mAMganA AtA to'| praznakartA : agara mA~ganA AtA to corI nahIM krtaa| dAdAzrI : hA~, corI nahIM krtaa| mA~ganA nahIM AtA hai isalie isa taraha se letA hai| aise loga haiM yA nahIM jinheM mA~ganA nahIM AtA? nAka vAle? maiMne kahA, 'hamAre nanihAla vAle khAnadAnI ghara se haiN| praznakartA : usane kahA ki 'mujhe lene kA adhikAra thA isalie le rahA thaa| dAdAzrI : hA~, ThIka hai| lekina adhikAra bhI kaisA? kyoMki mA~ganA nahIM aataa| mA~ganA aura maranA donoM eka samAna lagatA hai| adhikAra to thA na! adhikAra bhI isa taraha se nahIM honA caahie| pUche bagaira lene kA adhikAra nahIM honA cAhie, lekina vaha bhI calatA rahatA thaa| jaisejaise dhokhA khAyA na, vaise-vaise maz2A AtA gyaa| kSatriya prajA sage bhAI se bhI nahIM mA~ga sakatI, hAtha nahIM phailA sktii| ataH isa dRSTi se maiM isa bAta ko leTa-go karatA rhaa| aura phira usane mujhe batAyA ki, 'mahIne-do mahIne meM jaba z2arUrata par3atI hai taba ApakI jeba meM se kucha paise le letA huuN'| maiMne kahA, 'maiM jAnatA huuN| usameM harja nahIM hai, kyoMki usakA haqa hai| praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : Aja ke kSatriyoM ko to mA~ganA bhI AtA hai ! maiM agara Apake yahA~ rakama rakhU, to phira mujhe to jiMdagI bhara vApasa mA~ganA nahIM aaegaa| taba mujhe aMdara kyA lagegA? abhI isake pAsa nahIM haiM aura agara hama mA~geMge to zAyada use duHkha hogaa| aise saba vicAra bhI A jAte haiN| ataH aMdara aisA saba hotA hai isalie kisI se mA~gatA nahIM hU~, sAmane vAle ko duHkha na ho islie| ve loga kahate haiM, 'apane hI haiM na!' maiMne kahA, 'bhAI, apane hI haiM lekina use duHkha hogA na! agara abhI usake pAsa nahIM hoMge to?'

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 309 praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : to isa jJAna ke bAda thor3A-bahuta sIkhA, phira bhI kucha khAsa nahIM aataa| aura aba yaha saba sIkhakara kahA~ jAnA hai ? mokSa meM jAnA hai hameM to| aba to vaha Ar3AI bhI nahIM rakhanI hai aura ar3iyalapana bhI nahIM rakhanA hai| praznakartA : ThIka hai| khAnadAnI iMsAna ko cora kaise kaha sakate haiM? dAdAzrI : yadi use kucha kahate to mAmA ke beTe se saMbaMdha TUTa jAtA aura vaha bhI kitane rupayoM ke lie? do sau, pA~ca sau rupayoM ke lie| agara unakI beTI Ae to dasa haz2Ara rupae kharca karane par3a sakate haiN| abhI to gAr3I jaise cala rahI hai vaise hI calane do n| TUTa jAegA yA nahIM TUTa jAegA? aisA nahIM kaha sakate ki 'cora ho| harAmakhora, merI jeba meM se corI karake le gyaa'| koI bAhara vAlA le jAe, taba bhI nahIM kaha skte| maiM kaI logoM se pUchatA hU~, 'yaha jo corI karate haiM use kyA kahate ho?' to kahate haiM, 'z2arUratamaMda hogA isalie le gyaa| bAhara bhI itane narama dila loga hote haiN| jinhoMne jJAna nahIM liyA hai, ve bhI kahate haiM ki 'use z2arUrata hogI isalie le gayA hogaa'| aise loga hote haiM yA nahIM? praznakartA : hote haiN| dAdAzrI : bAkI, maiM aisA nahIM mAnatA ki khAnadAnI logoM ke bacce cora hote haiN| maiM ise svIkAra nahIM krtaa| khAnadAnI yadi cora bana jAe to vaha khAnadAniyata kaise kahalAegI? ataH kala hamAre mAmA ke beTe Ae the ve nIrU bahana se kucha kaha rahe the ki 'maiM dAdAjI kI jeba se... kyA karatA thA?' praznakartA : ve kahate the, 'mujhe sinemA jAnA ho to cupacApa paise nikAla letA thA unakI jeba se'|

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310 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : haaN| hara dUsare-tIsare dina aisA hii| jaba kabhI dasa kA noTa kama ho jAtA thA taba maiM samajha jAtA thA ki aura koI nahIM letA hai sirpha yaha bhAI hI le jAtA hai| aMdara yadi assI par3e hote the, to unameM se dasa yA bIsa, jitanI z2arUrata hotI thI utane lekara bAkI ke sATha rahane detA thaa| taba maiM samajha jAtA thA ki sATha bace haiM isalie apane zaMkara bhAI hone cAhie, aura koI nahIM ho sktaa| mujhe to bahuta yAda rahA karatA thaa| mujhe to dhyAna rahatA hI thA ki merI jeba meM kyA hai isalie spaSTa nahIM karatA thaa| ye dAdA to bhagavAna jaise haiM phira eka dina jaba saba ikaTThe hue taba unhoMne kahA, 'maiM to kabhI-kabhI, jaba mujhe z2arUrata hotI thI taba paise bhI nikAla letA thaa| vApasa aisA khulakara batA bhI diyaa| praznakartA : aura phira unhoMne kahA ki, 'maiM to yahI samajhatA thA ki dAdA ko patA nahIM cltaa'| dAdAzrI : hA~, 'dAdA ko saba patA cala jAtA thaa'| praznakartA : lekina phira jaba unheM yaha patA calA ki dAdA ko to patA cala jAtA hai lekina kucha kahate nahIM haiM, taba unheM lagA ki ye dAdA to 'bhagavAna' jaise haiN| dAdAzrI : unhoMne mujhase kahA ki, 'bhAI, kyA Apako mAlUma hai ki maiM ApakI jeba se paise nikAla letA hU~ ?' taba maiMne kahA, 'bhAI, saba jAnatA huuN| tujhe jitane cAhie utane nikAla lenaa'|| ___ to vaha paise nikAla letA thA lekina hama usa para cir3he nahIM, use kucha bhI nahIM kahA, use TokA bhI nhiiN| jaise ki use lAisensa de diyA ho na, aisA rkhaa| kyA kiyA? praznakartA : patA hI nahIM calane diyA ki Apako mAlUma hai| isase to dAdA usakA hRdaya parivartana ho jaae|

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje dAdAzrI : parivartana ho jAne kI vajaha se hI kaha rahA thA na kala ki 'maiMne to bahuta dinoM taka dAdA kI jeba se paise nikAle haiM lekina unhoMne mujhe kabhI kucha nahIM khaa'| to hA~, parivartana ho jAtA hai| itanA karanA A jAegA to kAma nikala jAegA phira hIrA bA ne sabhI cAbiyA~ le lI thIM mujhase, kahane lagIM Apako saba chala jAte haiM / hamAre bhAgIdAra ne bhI cAbiyA~ le liiN| sabhI ne cAbiyA~ le liiN| 311 praznakartA: dAdA, vaha saba bAta sahI hai, lekina sabhI ne Apase cAbiyA~ le lIM lekina una sabhI kI cAbiyA~ Apane le lIM / hamAre tAle khola die aapne| dAdAzrI : ve jAgRta haiM na ! vyavahAra saMbhAlane kA bhaya hai na una logoM ko / bhaya hai, isalie vyavahAra nahIM saMbhAla sakate / praznakartA : hA~, bhaya hai, lekina vAstava meM aisA nahIM hai / dAdAzrI : hA~, yadi vyavahAra saMbhAlane kI zakti hotI, to unheM vyavahAra saMbhAlanA AtA, to ve aura kisI jagaha para dhokhA nahIM khaate| ve loga bhI dhokhA khAte haiM isalie yaha sirpha bhaya hI hai vyavahAra saMbhAlane kaa| kyA karoge Apa ? aisA hai na, yaha jo duniyA cala rahI hai, vaha bhrAMti se cala rahI hai / saba ulTe rAste para haiN| yadi Apako sanmArga para jAnA ho aura sanAtana sukha cAhie to yaha mArga hai / loga jisa rAste para calate haiM usa rAste para nahIM, usase kucha ulTA clo| yaha bAta to mujhe bacapana se hI samajha meM A gaI thii| lekina yadi itanA karanA A jAe to kAma nikala jAe, varnA phira bhI vaha le to jAe~ge hI na ? praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : nahIM le jAe~ge kyA ? aura kyA hamAre pAsa usase z2yAdA rupae haiM? aura bahuta huA to hamArA baiMka meM jamA nahIM huA, itanI hI parezAnI hai na !

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312 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : phira bhI hIrA bA to rahate haiM na acchI taraha se| itanA hI hai ki mere pAsa nahIM bacA, lekina phira mujhe cAhie bhI kyA? kisalie cAhie mujhe? mujhe paisA kisalie cAhie? yaha saba bojha jaisA hI hai| praznakartA : Apako to ye saba (mahAtmA) caahie| dAdAzrI : haaN| basa-basa, bahata ho gyaa| jaba maiM Apa saba ko dekhatA hU~, to mujhe khUba AnaMda hotA hai! abhI zaMkara bhAI ko dekhatA hU~ taba bhI AnaMda hotA hai| unake lie kabhI bhI ciDha nahIM mcii| bacapana meM zAyada kabhI cir3ha macI hogI, phira usake bAda nhiiN| sudhArane kA prayatna kiyA lekina phira samajha gae ki, 'isameM kucha hone vAlA nahIM hai| aura hamAre dUsare mAmA, jo inake cAcA lagate haiM ve kaha rahe the ki, 'yaha patthara hai, Apa loga kyoM ise sudhArane kI koziza kara rahe ho? ApakA TAMkanA bhI bekAra jaaegaa'| maiMne kahA, 'mAmA, merA TAMkanA bekAra jaaegaa| isameM ApakA kyA jA rahA hai? mAmA ke beTe ke taura para kyA yaha merA pharz2a nahIM hai?' praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : aba sAre pharz2a khatma ho ge| aba to saba meM samAna bhAva ho gayA hai, una dinoM to pharz2a thA yA nahIM? Apa kyA kahate ho? vyavahAra thA na aisA? lekina yaha udAharaNa bahuta hI parezAnI vAlA hai| nahIM? praznakartA : dAdA, itanI jAgRti aura aisA vicAra AnA to bahuta bar3I bAta hai| mA~gane se pahale paise dekara sAmane vAle kI iz2z2ata bacAI dAdAzrI : hamane kisI ko bhI mA~gane nahIM diyaa| aisA samaya hI nahIM AyA ki jinheM mujhase kucha lene kI z2arUrata ho aura unameM se kisI ko bhI mA~ganA par3e, maiM zurU se hI unase kaha detA hU~ ki 'mere pAsa itane paise z2yAdA hai| agara z2arUrata ho to le jaanaa'| to turaMta hI sAmane vAlA

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 313 to taiyAra hI baiThA hotA thaa| kyA vahA~ taka Apa usakI iz2z2ata utAroge ki vaha mA~gane lage? yadi dene hI haiM to use mA~gane mata denaa| varnA, 'nahIM dene haiM,' aisA kaha do| sahI hai yA galata? lekina loga kyA kahate haiM ki, 'vaha mA~gegA to hama de deMge, varnA hama nahIM deNge'| are bhAI, mA~gane se to usakI sAta pIr3hiyoM kI iz2z2ata jAegI, nAka kaTa jAegI! ye to kSatriya haiM, isalie cAhe bhikhArI jaise hoM phira bhI... praznakartA : mA~gatA hI nahIM hai koii| dAdAzrI : aura hiMda ke Arya loga haiM, Arya AcAra-vicAra vAle haiN| bhikhArI jaise hoM phira bhI hAtha nahIM phailaate| usakA sagA bhAI AkSepa lagAtA thA, phira bhI hama prema dete the usake bAda eka dina mAmA ke beTe ne kahA, "mere eka paricita Ane vAle the| unheM milane jAnA thA to kala mere bar3e bhAI kI naI dhotI pahana lI thii| taba mere bar3e bhAI ne kahA, 'corI karake le gayA, corI karake le gayA', ye aisA kara rahe haiN|" usake bAda unake bar3e bhAI se kahA, 'are, pahanane ke lie dhotI le gayA use corI kahate ho? are, kaise loga ho?' taba maiMne use kahA, 'merI dhotI le jaanaa| agara tere pAsa nahIM ho to merI dhotI le jaanaa| yahA~ mere alamArI meM se le jaanaa| agara sage bhAI kA mana aisA ho to usakA kyA kareM?' praznakartA (zaMkara bhAI) : are, eka dina mujhase kaha rahe the na, ki 'tU aisA kaha denA ki maiM rAvajI bhAI kA bhAI nahIM huuN| dAdAzrI : unakI ijjata bacAne ke lie aisA bhI kaha dete the| ye z2arA zyAmavarNI dikhAI dete haiM, aura unake bhAI gorI gAya jaise dikhAI dete haiN| to phira maiM unheM DA~TatA thaa| maiMne kahA, "kaise iMsAna ho? bar3ebar3e oNphisara mere yahA~ Ate haiM, phira bhI maiM kaha detA hU~ ki ye mere mAmA ke beTe haiM aura Apako zarma AtI hai? sage bhAI ho phira bhI zarmAte ho? aisA kaha denA cAhie ki, 'yaha merA sagA bhAI hai'| zyAmavarNI hai to kyA gunAha kara liyA?" vaha cAya lekara AtA hai taba bhI maiM kahatA hU~, rizte

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314 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) kA paricaya detA hU~ ki 'ye mere mAmA ke beTe haiN'| 'tujhe merI jo kImata lagAnI ho vaha lgaanaa|' maiM to sahI bAta batA detA huuN| praznakartA (zaMkara bhAI) : dAdA, paise nahIM haiM na hamAre pAsa, islie| ve paise vAle dhanavAna iMsAna haiM aura hama garIba haiM, islie| dAdAzrI : lekina dAdA to haiM na Apake pAsa? praznakartA (zaMkara bhAI) : ve to haiM hI! dAdAzrI : Apako kahanA cAhie ki 'mere pAsa dAdA haiN| maiM jiMdagI bhara unakA upakAra nahIM bhUla sktaa'| praznakartA (zaMkara bhAI) : lekina hama dila se dhanavAna the aura ve dila se griib| dAdAzrI : unhoMne kahA, 'yaha kAma kA nahIM hai'| maiMne kahA, 'Apa suMdara haiM, isalie Apa kAma ke haiM aura yaha kAma kA nahIM hai'| aura unhoMne aisA kahA, 'yaha to patthara paidA huA hai'| maiMne kahA, 'nahIM hai ptthr'| abhI tumhArI bAraha mahIne kI AmadanI kyA hai? praznakartA : lagabhaga cAlIsa haz2Ara to khetI kI AmadanI hai| hamArI dekhane kI dRSTi hI alaga hai na dAdAzrI : (zaMkara bhAI tarasAlI vAle) yahA~ rahate haiM aura hukkA bhara dete haiM ArAma se| to jaba bAkI saba loga unheM DA~Tate haiM taba maiM unakA rakSaNa karatA huuN| maiM kahatA hU~, 'usakA nAma bhI mata lenA, saba ho jaaegaa'| kyA unakA yaha hukkA bharanA bekAra jAegA? hA~, lekina jise kucha nahIM AtA, usakA kyA kareM? unheM aisA saba karanA nahIM AtA, sarvisa karanI nahIM aatii| maiM batAtA hU~ ki unakI zAdI kaise huI? aba unakI umra paisaTha sAla kI ho gaI hai to isalie agara aba ve batAe~ge to burA dikhegaa| burA dikhegA na zaMkara bhAI ? praznakartA (zaMkara bhAI) : nahIM dikhegaa| bilkula burA nahIM dikhegA, daadaa|

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 315 dAdAzrI : nahIM dikhegA burA? jaba unakI zAdI huI thI na, taba ghara ke sabhI cAcAoM ne kyA kahA? 'Apa ise le jAkara kyA karoge?' taba una logoM ne kahA, 'hama beTI unheM nahIM de rahe haiM, isa caukhaTa ko de rahe haiN| abhI cAroM beTe ArAma se kamA rahe haiM, sabhI ne kamAyA isalie unheM kamAne kI z2arUrata hI nahIM rahI na! aura cha: beTiyA~ haiM unkii| loga kahate haiM, 'itanI beTiyoM kI zAdI kaise karoge?' maiMne kahA, 'are bhAI, unake pIche mata pdd'naa| unake pIche par3akara kyA milegA?' praznakartA : ve kaha rahe the ki "maiMne kucha bhI nahIM kmaayaa| maiMne to kucha bhI nahIM kiyA jiMdagI meM aura merI chaH beTiyA~ haiN| saba ciMtA karate haiM lekina dAdA kahate haiM ki 'tujhe patA bhI nahIM calegA aura terI beTiyoM kI zAdI ho jaaegii|" phira unhoMne kahA ki, 'merA saba isI taraha ho rahA hai| dAdAzrI : aisA hI hogA na! varnA pATIdAra kI birAdarI meM cha: beTiyA~ hoM to z2ahara pI lenA par3atA hai| praznakartA : hA~, jahara pI lenA par3atA hai| lekina yaha to dAdA haiN| ise nApane kA tarAjU hI alaga hai na? dAdAzrI : unakA mAla bahuta ucca prakAra kA hai lekina unheM vaha sabakucha karanA nahIM AyA aura haDDiyA~ jhukI nhiiN| z2arA sI mahenata karanI par3e to, vaha acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| Apa kisI ko cAya pilAne kA kaho, to jitanI Apa kaho utanI pilA deMge logoM ko| jaba sabhI yahA~ se tarasAlI yAtrA ke lie jAte haiM na to unheM bulA lAte haiN| 'calo hamAre yahA~, yaha dAdA kA nanihAla hai,' to bulAkara cAya pAnI pilAte the logoM ko| sAre dUdha kA upayoga usI meM kara dete the| itanA to AtA hai na! jise yaha AtA hai, use vaha saba nahIM AegA to clegaa| dAdA ko sauMpA to saba rAste para A gayA ve bAhara kA kAma nahIM karate the aura mauja-maz2e karate the basa,

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316 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) vahI kAma thaa| na to kheta meM jAte the, na hI bAhara kA kAma karate the| maiM naukariyA~ dilavAyA karatA thA aura ve loga mere nAma se tanakhvAha dete rahate the| vaha to ghUmatA rahatA thA, aura koI kAma nahIM karatA thaa| isalie phira maiMne baMda kara diyaa| maiMne kahA, 've becAre mere nAma se kaba taka tanakhvAha deMge?' to pUrI jiMdagI usane naukarI nahIM kI, hamAre usa mAmA ke beTe ne| use kucha bhI nahIM AtA thA na! basa! mauja-maz2e aura pakaur3iyA~ khaanaa| eka bhAI bar3A kaoNnTraikTara thA lekina vaha use kAma sauMpe taba na? rAma terI maayaa| dene-karane kA kucha bhI nhiiN| sIkhA hI nahIM thA na! maiMne kahA, 'z2arA isa bhAI kA to dekha! aura phira yaha cha: beTiyoM kA bApa hai| phira daheja bhI denA hai aura kamAtA bhI nahIM hai, yoM hI...' phira usake bhAI se kahA, 'bhAI, use kucha rupae denaa'| taba usake bhAI ne mujhase kyA kahA? 'Apa kaha rahe haiM to de dU~gA varnA maiM nahIM de sktaa| mere hAtha se nahIM chUTa paate'| maiMne kahA, 'lekina maiM tere bhAI ke sAmane kahU~ aura tU de, to yaha kaisA niyama hai ? maiM tujhe salAha detA hU~, merI AjJA hai aisA maankr| mere AjJA dene para tU pacAsa haz2Ara de detA hai, aura agara maiM salAha nahIM dUM to... lekina vaha bhAI merA hai yA terA?' ___ to eka bAra unhoMne mujhase kahA ki, 'bhAI, merI beTI kI zAdI hai, dasa haz2Ara rupae deMge?' maiMne kahA, 'le jaanaa'| unakI beTI hIrA bA ke lie khAnA banA detI thii| isa prakAra dasa-paMdraha haz2Ara rupae aura dUsarA, hamAre yahA~ unake beTe ke nAma para biz2anesa kiyA thA inkama Taiksa bacAne ke lie, usake evaja meM pA~ca hajAra rupae aur| aisA karake bIsa haz2Ara rupae die the| usakA sattara haz2Ara kA kharca huaa| usI meM pUrA ho gyaa| aba vaha kyA kahatA hai ? 'bhAI, aba bAraha mahIne meM mere pAsa eka lAkha rupae Ate haiM to mujhe aba Apake paise de dene haiN|' maiMne kahA, 'rahane de na, aba chodd''| aba, vaha eka AnA bhI nahIM kamAtA thaa| vaha apane beTe ko, jo maiTrika pAsa thA, mere yahA~ le aayaa| aura vaha bana gayA bar3A kaoNnTraikTara, bahuta z2abaradasta buddhi thii| usane saba se pahale

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 317 hamArA makAna bnaayaa| abhI bAraha mahIne meM lAkha rupae kamAtA hai| aisA hotA hai! usa bhAI kI cha:-cha: bettiyaaN| kaise zAdI karavAe? lekina logoM ko koI na koI mila AtA hai na! aura phira logoM se kyA kahate haiM ? ki mere bhAI 'bhagavAna' haiN| zurU se hI, Aja se nhiiN| mujhe jJAna nahIM huA thA taba bhI ve kahate the, 'bhAI, maiMne Apako sauMpa diyA hai to merA sabakucha ThIka ho jaaegaa| bhAI, Apa jo bhI karoge vaha sahI hai| mujhe to kucha bhI nahIM AtA hai'| usane saba sauMpa diyA isalie saba lAina para A gyaa| loga bhI kahate haiM, 'Apako sauMpA to usakA kAma ho gayA aura jinhoMne nahIM sauMpA thA, ve sabhI bhAI raha ge'| aisA hai yaha to! jo pakar3A jAtA hai vaha nahIM, jo nahIM pakar3A jAtA vaha cora yadi ApakA bhatIjA aisA hotA ki jisane pahale kabhI bhI kisI kI jeba se paise nahIM lie lekina aba eka dina vaha vyakti jeba se do sau rupae nikAlakara le gayA aura apane ghara meM koI vyakti use dekha le aura phira ghara kA mAnakara usase pUche ki 'tUne do sau rupae lie hai?' taba vaha kahatA hai, 'nahIM, maiMne nahIM lie'| to hama samajha jAe~ge ki 'yaha lar3akA aisA nahIM hai ki kabhI paise le le'| yAnI ki sNyogvsh| kisI saMyoga meM pha~sa gayA lagatA hai| ataH hameM use 'cora' nahIM kahanA cAhie, jabaki isa hiMdustAna ke sabhI loga use 'cora' kahate haiN| jo saMyogavaza pakar3A gayA use 'cora' kahate haiN| are pAgala! aise kaise iMsAna ho? jo nahIM pakar3e gae, vahI cora haiN| sacamuca ke cora to pakar3a meM hI nahIM aate| ye saMyogavaza vAle (cora) pakar3e jAte haiM becaare| sacamuca kA cora to A~kha meM dhUla DAlakara calA jAtA hai| ataH saMyogavaza bane cora ko hama cora nahIM kahate haiN| saMyogavaza kisI vyakti ne agara corI kI to usake caritra meM koI badalAva nahIM ho sktaa| kyoMki hama sirpha itanA hI dekhate haiM ki saMyogavaza aura paramAnenTa, una donoM meM se yaha vyakti kisa jagaha para hai|

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318 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) loga to, saMyogavaza (cora) eka dina corI karate hue pakar3A jAe to use hamezA ke lie cora kaha dete haiM, ye to| aba usa para Aropa lagAne se kitane gunAha lagate haiM ? kauna-kauna sI kalameM lagatI haiM ? iMDiyana loga saMyogavaza corI karane vAle ko hamezA ke lie cora banA dete haiM, jaise ki usake mekara (banAne vAlA) hoN| saMyogavaza cora, vaha cora nahIM hai, dAdA kI anokhI dRSTi _ agara Apa cAra bAra corI karo taba bhI maiM Apako cora nahIM kahU~gA, kyoMki saMyogavaza corI kara rahe ho| Apa cora nahIM ho jabaki ve cora to alaga hI haiN| saMyogavaza nahIM, vaha to unakA vyApAra hai| hamAre yahA~ to jo saMyogavaza pakar3A jAe, usake lie loga kahate haiM, 'jAne do usakA nAma mata lo'| are, aisA nahIM kahate bhaaii| tU mArA jaaegaa| saMyogavaza rAjA bhIkha mA~gane lagatA hai yA nahIM? are! saMyogavaza to maiM bhI bhIkha mA~ga sakatA huuN| tIna dinoM taka khAnA nahIM mile to aMdara Aga lagatI hai, taba 'kahegA lAo' mA~geMge yA nahIM? to yaha manuSya saMyogoM ke gulAma haiM / tIrthaMkara bhI saMyogoM ke gulAma the, yaha batA detA huuN| phira bhI eka ora khuda svataMtra the| phira bhI, jaba taka deha hai taba taka gulAmI to hai na! ataH yaha gulAmI hai eka prakAra kii| aMdara bhaTThI jala rahI ho to kyA ho sakatA hai? praznakartA : aisA sApha-sApha kauna kahegA, dAdA? dAdAzrI : saMyogavaza to rAjA bhI cora bana sakatA hai| praznakartA : hA~, daadaajii| prejuDisa rahanA, vaha eka bahuta bar3A gunAha hai dAdAzrI : jaba (rAjA ko) tIna dinoM taka khAnA nahIM mile aura agara kahIM para bhIkhArI ke ghara kI roTiyA~ rakhI hoM, taba bhI cupacApa le legA yA nahIM? cupacApa lenA AtA hai kyA rAjA ko? jaba bhUkha lagI ho taba sabakucha A jAtA hai| merI dRSTi meM pUrI duniyA hI saMyogavaza cora hai| lekina saMyogavaza cora ko cora mata kaho, varnA bhayaMkara doSa lgegaa|

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[9] kuTuMba - cacere bhAI-bhatIje Apako samajha meM A rahA hai ? saMyogavaza aisA ho jAtA hai yA nahIM ? jo saMyogavaza hotA hai usa para prejuDisa (pUrvagraha ) rakhanA, bahuta bar3A gunAha hai| maiM to prejuDisa rakhatA hI nahIM thaa| prejuDisa kyoM rakhanA hai? isa juDisa ke kAraNa hI to yaha saMsAra hai / 319 kisI saMyogavaza koI hamAre kisI bujurgaM se kahe, 'cAcA, mujhe do sau rupae dIjie na, mujhe bahuta takalIpha hai'| aba yadi cAcA ahaMkArI hoM to manA nahIM kara sakate use aura yahA~ ghara para beTe ke sAmane unakI kucha calatI nahIM hai| taba ve kyA kareMge ? beTe kI jeba meM se nikAla leNge| aba kyA ve cora haiM ? kyA haiM ? saMyogoM ke adhIna haiM / yadi saMyogoM ke adhIna koI vyakti kucha kare to use hama gunAha nahIM maante| jo hamezA ke lie cora ho usakA hama gunAha mAnate haiM / usake lie to hamArA sarTiphikeTa hai hI, lekina vaha 'cora kA sarTiphikeTa nhiiN| usake prati hameM abhAva nahIM rahatA / Apako kyA lagatA hai, yaha niyama kAma meM AegA ? praznakartA : hA~, ThIka hai / hama eka hI taraha ke abhiprAya vAle, hama nahIM badalate haiM sarTiphikeTa dAdAzrI : hamAre niyama Apake niyamoM se alaga haiN| hama eka abhiprAya vAle haiN| eka hI prakAra kA abhiprAya, abhiprAya nahIM badalate haiN| ataH hama kyA karate ? mAna lo koTa utArakara ghara meM rakhA hai aura usameM do sau rupae par3e haiM / merA aisA abhiprAya hai ki yaha vyakti kabhI bhI paise nahIM legA, corI nahIM kregaa| aba usa vyakti ko kisI ne jeba meM hAtha DAlate hue dekha liyA aura maiMne nahIM dekhaa| phira mujhe to vApasa bAhara jAnA pdd'aa| bAhara jaba paisoM kI z2arUrata par3I taba jeba se paise nahIM nikle| bAhara jAkara vApasa Ane para maiMne ghara para pUchA, 'kisI ne isameM se paise lie haiM ?' taba unhoMne kahA ki, 'nahIM, hamane nahIM lie haiN| kyA hai ?' taba maiM kahu~gA, 'nahIM, kucha bhI nahIM, kucha nhiiN| maiMne aMTI

Page #385
jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) meM DAla die the, ve mujhe mila gae' / phira agara koI kahe ki, 'vaha bhAI ApakI jeba meM hAtha DAla rahe the| kyA isameM se kucha kama huA hai?' maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, jo merI aMTI meM the aura ve mujhe mila gae' / lekina mujhe yaha patA cala gayA ki kisane hAtha DAlA thaa| aba una bhAI ke lie to maiM aisA mAnatA hU~ ki ve corI kara hI nahIM skte| merA unake prati aisA abhiprAya thA / aba eka bAra abhiprAya banAyA to basa, use phira badalanA nahIM hai / 320 are! hamane khuda cora ko dekhA ho, koI zaMkA nahIM rahe, aura hamane dUra se dekha liyA ho, phira bhI hama use cora nahIM khte| yadi maiM unheM cora kahU~ to pahale maiMne hI kahA thA na ki, 'yaha cora nahIM ho sakatA' / phira merA hI sarTiphikeTa badalane kA samaya AyA ? to kyA maiM eka kaoNleja ke sarTiphikeTa se bhI gayA - bItA hU~ ? lo ! to isakA pramANa kyA hai? to kahA, 'hamArA niyama' / maiM maoNrala kharIda letA thA phira yadi agale dina jaba ve Ae to unheM patA nahIM cale usa prakAra se koTa z2arA alaga rakha deMge, basa utanA hI aura koTa meM z2yAdA paise nahIM rkheNge| koTa meM jitanA kucha nikAlate haiM, utanA rakha denA aura vaha bhI isa taraha se ki use patA na cle| use apamAna mahasUsa na ho, usa prakAra se! lekina usake prati hama aisA mana nahIM rakhate yA unake prati phira prejuDisa nahIM rahatA ki ' le gayA to aba nahIM rakhanA caahie'| praznakartA : use dUsarI bAra paise lene kA cAnsa nahIM deMge ? dAdAzrI : nahIM deMge aura phira bhI agara use aisA cAnsa mila jAe to hama aisA prejuDisa nahIM rakheMge ki vaha le gyaa| maiM maoNrala kharIda letA thA / vaha corI karatA thA phira bhI use vApasa bulAtA thA lekina sAvadhAna rahatA thA / koTa nikAlakara vApasa usa jagaha para nahIM rakhatA thA aura usase aisA nahIM kahatA thA ki tU

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 321 cora hai| mujhe saba pramANa mila jAte, sabakucha mila jAtA phira bhI nahIM kahatA thA kyoMki maiM iMsAna ko cora nahIM kahatA hU~, maiM cora ko cora kahatA huuN| praznakartA : cora ko, iMsAna ko nahIM! dAdAzrI : nhiiN| Apa jisa taraha se kahate ho vaisA nhiiN| maiM aisI dRSTi se kahatA hU~ ki jisakA svabhAva hamezA corI karane kA hai, use maiM cora kahatA hU~ sabhI logoM ko maiM cora nahIM kahatA aura jo saMyogavaza corI karatA hai, use maiM cora nahIM khtaa| merI bAta samajha meM A jAe to bahuta kImatI hai| duniyA ke loga kise pakar3ate haiM? duniyA ke loga kise cora kahate haiM? jo pakar3A jAtA hai, use| are, usane jiMdagI meM kabhI bhI aisA nahIM kiyA, Aja pakar3A gayA to kyA hamezA ke lie usakI iz2z2ata kharAba kara doge? maiM aisA saba nahIM krtaa| yoM to saMyogavaza rAjA bhI bhIkha mA~ga sakatA hai| vaha rAjA apanA rAjasIpana nahIM chor3a detaa| ataH hamArA yaha vAkya bahuta bar3A hai| samajhane jaisA hai yaha vAkya! pUrI duniyA isI meM pha~sI hai, 'Aja pakar3A gayA, maiMne khuda dekhaa'| are bhAI! usakA pahale kA caritra to dekha! haz2AroM rupae do taba bhI na le, aisA iMsAna lekina usakA corI karane kA samaya A gayA to usake caritra ko dhUla meM milA doge? eka to Apa apane Apako bigAr3a rahe ho! aura hamezA ke lie use bhI bigAr3a rahe ho| usa para Aropa lagAoge, to use bahuta AghAta laga jaaegaa| agara hamArA yaha vAkya samajha meM A jAe to bahuta kImatI hai| saMyogavaza cora ko cora kahate haiM hm| rAvaNa ne aura kucha nahIM kiyA thA, saMyogavaza sirpha kudRSTi ddaalii| usane eka bAra hI aisA socA ki mujhe ise pakar3akara lAnA hai| to usa para duniyA ne itanA saba kara diyA! jo saba se bar3A sAinTisTa hai, vaijJAnika hai, use bhagavAna ne bhI 'bhagavAna' kahA hai| ve pratinArAyaNa kahalAte haiM, aura isa deza ke loga unakI niMdA karate haiN| isa deza kA kyA bhalA hogA phira? usake putale jalAte haiM ! dhanya hai isa duniyA ko!

Page #387
322 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) jAna chur3avAne ke lie logoM ne bhatIje ko car3hAyA praznakartA : kuTuMba ke kisI bahuta hI vicitra prakRti vAle vyakti se Apane kisa prakAra se vyavahAra kiyA? dAdAzrI : hamAre eka bhatIje the, ve kyA karate the? jaba gussA AtA thA na to par3osI kI bhaiMsa ke khUTe kI rassI kATa dete the| usase vaha bhaiMsa calI jAtI thii| taba sabhI par3osI mana meM cir3hate rahate the aura una logoM ke kucha kahane se pahale hI vaha itanI-itanI gAliyA~ dene lagatA thaa| isalie phira loga use kucha nahIM kahate the| logoM ne eka tarakIba DhU~Dha nikAlI ki Apake cAcA to kaoNnTraikTa kA itanA bar3A kAma karate haiM aura Apa ghara para baiThe ho? Apa to unake bhatIje ho, Apako to sApha-sApha kaha denA cAhie ki 'naukarI-vaukarI nahIM karU~gA, Apako isameM hissA denA pdd'egaa'| taba unhoMne kahA, 'mujhe vaha kAma nahIM AtA hai na! maiM kyA karU~gA vahA~ para? kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma nahIM AtA hai na!' logoM ne samajhAyA thA ki tujhe itanA hI kahanA hai ki 'mujhe isameM pArTanara rkho'| use kisI ne aisA sikhA diyA to usake dimAg2a meM yaha bAta phiTa ho gii| phira yahA~ Akara vaha bA kI upasthiti meM hI baiTha gyaa| usane aisA nahIM kahA ki 'maiM AyA huuN| usane kahA, 'hama Ae haiM, hama yahIM para khAnA khAe~ge, do-pA~ca sAloM taka, jaba taka yahA~ raheMge, taba tk| hama bAda meM de deNge'| aisA khaa| kyA kahA? praznakartA : bAda meM de deNge| dAdAzrI : isa taraha jaise ki bhojanAlaya meM paise nahIM dene hoM? aisA bhI kahA, saba khaa| taba phira bA ne mujhase kahA, 'are, yaha lar3akA aisA kaha rahA hai !' maiMne kahA, 'bhale hI kahe, vaha to khegaa'| hameM chAna lenA hai, apane pAsa chalanI rakhanI hai! gehU~-gehU~ raha jAe~ge, kaMkara nIce gira jaaeNge| usake bAda mujhase kahA, 'maiM bAhara se AyA huuN| cAcA, maiM AyA huuN'| maiMne kahA, 'bahuta acchA huaa| mere ghara bhatIjA AyA to mujhe bahuta AnaMda huaa'| mujhe saba mAlUma thaa| phira mujhase kahA, 'kaoNnTraikTa meM

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 323 merA hissA rakhanA pdd'egaa| to turaMta hI, kyA huA hai aura yaha iMsAna aisA kaise kaha rahA hai, mujhe pUrA itihAsa dikhAI diyaa| yaha iMsAna aisA kaha rahA hai ki kaoNnTraikTa meM hissA denA par3egA! maiMne kahA, 'hA~ bhaaii'| maiM samajha gayA ki yaha aisA nahIM kaha sktaa| use khuda ko aise svArtha vagairaha kI samajha nahIM hai| use khuda ko aise svArtha kI icchA nahIM hai kyoMki yaha aisA kara hI nahIM sktaa| logoM ne, kisI ne ise paTTI par3hA dI hai| maiM jAnatA hU~ kisI ne aisI aMTI (gAMTha) DAla dI hai, isa aMTI ko nikAlanA muzkila ho jaaegaa| prakRti ko pahacAnakara bodhakalA se liyA kAma praznakartA : vaha to mujhe bhI kahA thA, 'yaha sirpha ApakA nahIM hai, merA hissA hai| dAdAzrI : hA~, Apako to ve aisA hI kaha rahe the ki 'merI hI mAlikI hai, maiM hI isakA mAlika huuN| yaha bAta sunane jaisI hai| taba bA ko ekadama dhakkA lagA ki, 'hAya hAya, yaha bhAgIdArI kI bAta kara rahA hai'| aura yaha bhAI to aisA kaha rahA hai ki, 'tujhe hissA duuNgaa'| maiMne kahA, 'tu to bhatIjA lagatA hai, tujhe to saba se pahale hissA denA pdd'egaa| varnA aura kise hissA dUMgA?' taba usane kahA, 'to cAcA, hama sAtha meM khAnA khAne baiThe?' taba maiMne kahA, 'baiTha, cl'| phira jaba usane tIna roTiyA~ khA lIM taba maiMne kahA, 'eka-do roTiyA~ aura khA le| phira hameM kAma para jAnA hai aura phira vahA~ jAkara kyA karanA hai? tujhe kucha loga die jAeMge aura una logoM kI tujhe dekharekha karanI hai, unheM paise dene haiN| jo bhI kharcA ho usakA tujhe hisAba rakhanA hai| hamAre pAsa do kAma haiM eka vAghor3iyA ke sAmane haiM, vaha sTezana se cAra mIla kI dUrI para hai aura dUsarA sAr3he pA~ca mIla kI dUrI para hai| tujhe kauna sA ThIka lagegA? cAra mIla vAlA yA sAr3he pA~ca mIla vAlA?' usane kahA, 'maiM calakara nahIM jA skuuNgaa'| taba maiMne kahA, 'bhAI, kaoNnTraikTa ke kAma meM to calakara jAnA par3atA hai'| taba usane kahA, 'nahIM, vaha

Page #389
324 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) mujhase nahIM hogaa| mujhe ApakA kAma nahIM karanA hai| mujhe hissA bhI nahIM caahie'| usI se manA krvaayaa| ___maiMne isa taraha seTa kara diyaa| maiM samajha gayA thA ki agara aisA kahU~gA na, to vaha manA kara degaa| apane Apa hI manA kara degaa| maiM usakI prakRti pahacAnatA thA ki yaha kA~Te vAlI prakRti hai yA yaha bagaira kA~Te kI? to apane Apa hI manA karane lagA aura agara maiMne hI manA kara diyA hotA na ki 'bhAgIdAra-vAgIdAra nahIM rakheMge' to pUre dina kalaha hotii| hama to aisA saba jAnate haiM na ki peca kisa tarapha se kholane haiN| to aisA huA thaa| maiMne socA, 'hama isake sAtha kahA~ jhaMjhaTa kareM ?' bhatIjA thA isalie mana meM aisA bhAva thA ki kahIM seTa kara maiMne mana meM taya to kiyA thA ki ise kisI lAina meM lagA huuN| isalie phira mana meM aisA thA ki eka-do haz2Ara rupae kharca karake use koI choTI sI dukAna lagavA duuN| mana meM aisA bhAva thA kyoMki bhatIje ke sAtha cAhe kucha bhI huA ho phira bhI vaha to khuda ke peTa meM duHkhane jaisA hI kahA jaaegaa| kahA~ paTTI bA~dhe, agara bhatIjA aisA kahe to? taba phira maiMne kahA, 'yahA~ dukAna lagavA deN'| taba usane pUchA, 'kisa cIz2a kI dukAna ?' maiMne kahA, 'anAja-kirAnA vagairaha kii'| taba usane kahA, 'tarAjU lekara baiThanA par3egA?' maiMne kahA, 'aura kyA lekara baiThoge?' taba usane kahA, 'nahIM, tarAjU-varAjU mujhe nahIM jmegaa'| lo aba, dUsarI bAta ke lie bhI manA kiyA, kitanI tumAkhI (hekar3I, ghamaMDa) thI usameM? taba phira maiMne pUchA, 'naukarI karegA?' to usane kahA, 'hA~! naukarI kruuNgaa'| phira maiMne sUrasAgara para eka peTrola paMpa vAlA thA, vaha apanA paricita thA to maiMne peTrola paMpa vAle se kahA, 'bhAI, ise rakha lo| yaha logoM ke lie peTrola bhara degA aura likha degaa'| phira maiMne use kahA, 'maiMne peTrola paMpa para terI naukarI taya kI hai'| taba usane kahA, "nahIM, vahA~ to ziva cAcA ke beTe peTrola lene Ate haiM, to ve kaheMge, 'are,

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 325 peTrola de'| ziva cAcA ke beToM kI hI bAta hai, dUsaroM kI nhiiN| to kyA maiM peTrola dUMgA?" taba maiMne kahA, 'to usa bAta ko bhI chor3o, baMda rkho'| ise ziva cAcA kahA~ se yAda A gae! dekho na ise, apanA aura sirpha apanA hI yAda AtA hai, bAhara kA koI bhI yAda nahIM aataa| dimAg2a kI kaisI tumAkhI! isalie phira maiMne kahA, 'bhAI, to aba tU kyA karegA? tU to eka bhI bAta nahIM mAnatA hai| are, eka zabda to mAna meraa'| taba usane kahA, 'nahIM, aisI naukarI-vaukarI nahIM caahie| hameM to naukarI aisI karanI hai ki koI aisA nahIM kahe ki tU aise kr'| taba maiMne kahA, 'bhAI, agara aisA nahIM ho pAegA to tU kyA karegA?' taba usane kahA, 'hama apane ghara cale jAe~ge vaaps'| usane kahA, 'lekina do mahIne hama yahA~ rahakara DhU~DheMge, usake bAda jaaeNge'| taba maiMne kahA, 'do ke bajAya cha: mahIne raha na!' to mahIne-Der3ha mahIne rahA thaa| ulTA bole phira bhI dekhate the paoNz2iTiva roz2a bA ke sAtha baiThakara kahatA thA, 'bA, ciMtA mata karanA, maiM kamAU~gA na, to saba de duuNgaa'| phira maiMne eka dina usakI jeba meM dekhA to becAre kI jeba meM bAraha-caudaha Ane the| eka dina mujhe bukhAra thA aura vaha jeThA bhAI ke vahA~ gayA hogA, vahA~ jeThA bhAI kI patnI ne pUchA ki, 'cAcA kI tabIyata kaisI hai?' taba usane kahA, 'unheM bukhAra AyA hai, to usase mujhe kyA lenA-denA? bukhAra to AtA rahatA hai!' taba phira jeThA bhAI kI patnI ko gussA A gayA, unhoMne yahA~ Akara bA ko batAyA, taba bA ne kahA ki, 'yaha aisA kaha rahA hai'| taba maiMne bA se kahA, 'bhale hI khe| aba Apa kyA karogI? koI aura upAya hai? isalie isakA aisA upAya karo tAki hameM jhaMjhaTa na ho'| hamane kaise ahiMsaka upAya kie! koI bhI jhaMjhaTa nhiiN| do-tIna dina bAda usane kahA, 'mujhe ghara jAnA hai'| to vaha kapar3e vagairaha lekara jAne lagA, mujhe to patA bhI nahIM claa| usake bAda phira zaMkara bhAI Ae, taba unhoMne kahA ki, 'viThThala bhAI to ge'| maiMne kahA, 'are, unake pAsa

Page #391
326 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) bAraha-caudaha Ane hI the| kaise jAe~ge bhAdaraNa?' taba zAyada pA~ca yA dasa kA noTa hogA, to maiMne kahA, 'le, yaha noTa use dekara aa'| taba phira vahA~ jaldI se zaMkara bhAI ko daur3AyA aura phira vahA~ para use paise die, to usane kahA, 'cAcA garIba iMsAna haiN| garIba iMsAna ke paise mujhe kyo de rahe ho?' to usane nahIM lie| taba phira hamAre raNachor3a bhAI ne eka dina kahA, 'isa viThThala bhAI ko dekho na...' maiMne kahA, 'aisA kyoM kara rahe ho? vaha acchA bhatIjA hai| jo bhatIjA dene para bhI nahIM letA, aisA koI isa duniyA meM DhU~Dha laao'| hama use dene jAe~ to vaha kahatA hai, 'Apa garIba ho, mujhe ApakA nahIM caahie'| to aisA bhatIjA kahA~ se lAe~ge hama? dene para loga le lete haiM yA nahIM? praznakartA : le lete haiN| dAdAzrI : jeba meM nahIM hoM phira bhI dene para bhI nahIM lete| to raNachor3a bhAI bahuta khuza ho ge| mujhase kahA, 'mujhe yaha kalA acchI lgii| Apane acchI kalA DhU~Dha nikaalii'| taba maiMne kahA, 'kyA ho sakatA hai| kyA isa taraha se sAtha rahate ? agara koI kalA nahIM DhU~Dhe to phira kyA kareM?' ahaMkAra bhagna lekina usake guNa dekhe aba hamArA vaha bhatIjA itane bhagna ahaMkAra vAlA hai ki pUrI jiMdagI pAgaloM kI taraha hI rahA hai! aba kauna se janma meM vaha ahaMkAra bhagna huA hogA aura kauna se janma meM usakA vedana karegA, vaha to bhagavAna jaane| aise to bahuta taraha ke ahaMkAra bhagna loga dekhe haiM maiNne| bhagna ahaMkAra, bhagna prema aise bahuta taraha ke bhagna! ahaMkAra bhagna vyakti kA kaisA hotA hai, ki agara usake pAsa pacAsa hI rupae hoM aura Apa kaho ki 'kyA Apase bAta ho sakatI hai? mujhe abhI z2arA paisoM kI parezAnI hai'| to vaha kisI se paccIsa-pAcasa rupae udhAra lekara Apako de degA, 'lo bar3e bhAI', aisA krke| praznakartA : hA~, de degaa|

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 327 dAdAzrI : usase miThAsa lagI na! zarIra meM usakI miThAsa lagI isalie usake evaja meM usakI vailyU cukA dete haiN| ahaMkAra bhagna vyakti aisA hotA hai| praznakartA : aise to kaI ahaMkAra bhagna hote haiN| saba jagaha aise hI, taraha-taraha ke hote haiN| dAdAzrI : agara unheM batAe~ge to kitanA du:kha hogA! unheM mata btaanaa| lekina ve khuda kaise iMsAna the... eka bAra hama unake ghara gae the, taba ve sabz2I lekara Ae the| khuda eka mIla dUra gae aura sabjI lekara aae| usake bAda phira ghara Akara paise gine taba kahane lage ki, 'sabjI vAlI kA eka AnA jyAdA A gayA hai| cAcA Apa baiThie, maiM use dekara AtA huuN'| hameM baiThAe rakhA aura vaha vApasa use dene gyaa| maiMne kahA, 'baiTha na, aba bAda meM de denA, kala de denaa'| taba usane kahA, 'nahIM, usa becArI ko abhI ginate samaya duHkha hogaa'| aba inheM pAgala bhI kaise kaha sakate haiM? lekina dekho, sabjI vAlI ko eka AnA vApasa kyoM de Ate haiN| vaha hisAba bhI dekhane jaisA hai na! to vaha vApasa jAkara use paise de AyA becaaraa| kyA tU dekara AegA? nahIM jAegA dene| maiM bhI nahIM dUMgA n| yaha kyA jhaMjhaTa? kala de Ae~ge bhaaii| agara dene hI haiM to kala de deMge, parasoM de deMge, jaba milegI taba de deNge| vaha to kahatA hai, 'abhI hI jAkara...' to mujhe baiThAe rakhA aura calA gyaa| aba usake bhI kucha siddhAMta to haiM na, dhyeya to hai yA nahIM? dhyeya rahita jIvana kaise ho sakatA hai? varnA phira yahA~ mujhase milate hI kaise? dAdA ne dhyAna rakhakara zAdI karavAI bhatIje kI beTI kI phira jaba unakI beTI zAdI lAyaka huI, taba usa manu ne kAphI kamAyA huA thA to maiMne manu se kahA, 'tU z2yAdA de'| cimana bhAI ke pAsa z2yAdA nahIM hai, bacce bhI bahuta nahIM bhejte| cimana bhAI se kahA, 'tU bhI denaa'| beTI kI zAdI kA samaya A gyaa| vaha kama par3hI-likhI thii| taba maiMne kahA, 'isake lie kucha kro'| taba manu ne kahA, 'maiM sAta haz2Ara

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328 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) rupae duuNgaa'| cimana ne kahA, 'maiM tIna haz2Ara duuNgaa'| taba maiMne kahA ki, 'hameM aisA karanA hai ki itane meM kAma ho jaae'| phira maiM aura manu vahA~ muMbaI se nikale aura sUrata phuNce| vahA~ dharmaja kA eka lar3akA thaa| suvidhAe~ kucha jyAdA nahIM thIM usake pAsa lekina yoM thA acchaa| vaha bhAdaraNa kA bhatIjA thaa| phira usake nanihAla vAloM ne to kahA ki, 'hameM karanI hI hai'| taba maiMne usake nanihAla meM sApha-sApha batA diyA ki 'isakA bApa dimAg2a se z2arA kreka hai aura lar3akI kama par3hI-likhI hai| zAdI acchI kareMge, usakI ciMtA mata krnaa| anya koI zarta-varta nahIM clegii'| to bhAdaraNa vAle ne kahA, 'phira se aisA nahIM milegaa'| taba turaMta hI dharmaja vAloM ne 'hA~' kaha diyaa| manu bhAI una dinoM itane suMdara aura AkarSaka dikhAI dete the| yoM pharsTa klAsa kapar3e pahane hue the, rAjA jaise dikhAI de rahe the| vaha lar3akA to mujhe aura manu bhAI, donoM ko dekhakara hI khuza ho gyaa| usane aisA kahA, 'mujhe agara zAdI karanI hai to yahIM para karanI hai| cAhe kaisI bhI lar3akI ho, cAhe pAgala ho phira bhI inhIM ke yahA~ zAdI karanI hai| to yoM hI taya kara lAe phira bArAta AI aura usane zAdI kii| aba lar3akI ko kapar3e kauna detA ina donoM meM se? kisI ne bhI nahIM die isalie phira maiMne kapar3e dene kA kaha diyA ki, 'tere bAraha mahIne ke kapar3e hamArI tarapha se'| to paMdraha sau rupae alaga rakha die| usakA sau-savA sau rupaye byAja AtA thaa| usake bAda usa lar3akI ko pA~ca sAla taka byAja diyaa| phira usa lar3akI ne kahA, 'mujhe vahA~ sosAiTI meM makAna banavAnA hai, Apa nakada de diijie'| usake bAda (ve paise) maiMne use de die| ___aba usakI beTI kI zAdI ke samaya usake do bhAIyoM ne mujhase kahA, 'isa bhAI ko Apa saMbhAla lenaa'| kyA kahA? kyoMki, usakI khuda kI beTI thI, usake do bhAI khuda ke kharca se usakI zAdI karavA rahe the taba yaha kyA kahatA hai, 'unheM zAdI karavAnI ho to karavAe, lekina maiM zAdI meM nahIM aauuNgaa'| taba phira maiMne ina logoM ko sikhAyA ki eka

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 329 acchI aMgUThI bnvaao| phira usase kahA, 'Apa a~gUThI pahanakara kanyAdAna karane baitthnaa'| to acchI aMgUThI pahanAI, usake bAda ve aae| praznakartA : a~gUThI khIMca lAI unheN| dAdAzrI : acchI aMgUThI thI na, to yoM dekhate jA rahe the! lekina the bhole, aura kucha bhI nahIM thA becAre ko! vaise bhAI bhI mila jAte haiM na! dekho na, unheM saMbhAlane vAle kaise-kaise mila gae! puNyazAlI the na! to logoM ne usakI zAdI karavA dI, donoM ne milakara aura Upara se yaha bhAI gAliyA~ de rahA thA, 'Apase kisane kahA zAdI karavAne kA? bar3e Ae zAdI karavAne vAle! dekho to sahI! inake cehare to dekho!' aisA kaha rahe the| kyA logoM ko batA sakate the yaha saba phajItA? praznakartA : nhiiN| dAdAzrI : hA~. logoM ko aisA saba nahIM batA skte| hameM sirpha dekhate hI rahanA par3atA hai| hisAba hogA tabhI aise loga mileMge na, varnA aisA bhatIjA kaise milatA? nikAla denA to sabhI ko AtA hai, usake bajAya nikAla karo dAdAzrI : hamAre caMdrakAMta ke phAdara to bahuta cir3ha gae kyoMki vaha unake cAcA kA beTA lagatA thA, merA bhatIjA lagatA thaa| kahA 'are! ise nikAla do Apa to'| kyA kahA? praznakartA : nikAla do| dAdAzrI : nikAla denA to hara kisI ko AtA hai| hameM nayA kyA karanA AyA, vaha DhU~Dha nikAlo na! nikAlanA kise nahIM AtA? praznakartA : sabhI ko AtA hai| dAdAzrI : hama kisI ko nikAlate nahIM haiN| praznakartA : ApakI khoja asala hai|

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330 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : duniyA meM sabhI taraha ke khela hote haiN| mujhe taraha-taraha ke loga mile haiM! praznakartA : usameM bhI isa taraha se nikAla (nipaTArA) lAnA vaha to bahuta bar3I bAta hai| dAdAzrI : vahA~ AphrIkA jAkara bhI, jo koI bhI unakI dukAna para AtA hai to ve unase kahate haiM ki, 'ye saba mere naukara haiM, maiM hI seTha huuN| yaha raNachor3a bhAI naukara haiM, rAvajI bhAI naukara haiM, sabhI mere naukara haiN'| aisA kahate the| eka paisA bhI nahIM kamAyA, aura pUrI jiMdagI aise kA aisA hI rhaa| phira eka dina mujhe raNachor3a bhAI ne kahA ki, 'isake sAtha koI saMbaMdha rakhane jaisA nahIM hai| ise kahIM bhI khaDA rahane dene jaisA nahIM hai| maiMne kahA, 'aise parezAna hone se kyA hogA? use hamAre naz2adIka janma kisane diyA? nikAla deMge to phira se AegA kisI janma meM, usake bajAya nikAla hI kara do na, usake saath'| to mujhase kahA, "usake sAtha kaise raha sakate haiM?' maiMne kahA, 'saba se acchA iMsAna hai yh| mujhe to gAlI de jAtA hai ki mere cAcA beakla haiM, aise haiM, vaise haiM, lobhI haiM lekina bhAI, hameM usa tarapha kA bhaya nahIM hai ki vaha haz2Ara rupae mA~gane aaegaa| pA~ca rupae bhI nahIM mA~gegA jiMdagI meN| vaha kyA koI kama phAyadA hai? yaha saba se bar3A phAyadA hai!' to kahate haiM, 'hA~, vaha bAta sahI hai, nahIM maaNgegaa'| 'aura agara kisI aura ko Apa pArTanara banAo to cAhe vaha bahuta acchA ho, bahuta hI kAbila ho, bahuta hI vinayI ho lekina pA~ca haz2Ara lene Ae na, to use phela kara denA aura ise pAsa kara denA' aisA khaa| ___ 'agara ho sake to Apa ise rupae dekara dekho? yaha kahatA hai yA nahIM ki Apa garIba iMsAna ho| jo rupae nahIM letA pahale unakA anubhava karanA cAhie, cAhe vaha kitanI bhI gAliyA~ de phira bhii| jabaki mIThA bolane vAle to pA~ca haz2Ara lene hI Ae hote haiN| jabaki inako svArtha nahIM aataa| svArtha-vvArtha kI jhaMjhaTa hI nahIM na! unake Ane para agara

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 331 'padhAro' kaheM na, ve khuza ho jaate| bAkI, mara jAe~ taba bhI mA~ganA nhiiN| pAnI nahIM ho phira bhI mA~ganA nahIM hai, to kyA vaha kucha kama bAta hai? hameM nirbhaya banA diyA', raNachor3a bhAI ko samajhAyA, taba phira raNachor3a bhAI ne kahA, 'mujhe bhI ApakI yaha bAta pasaMda aaii| usameM bhI guNa to haiM na!' maiM paise detA thA ki jise ThagA hai use vApasa dekara Ao praznakartA : 'TakarAva TAlie' vaha sUtra Apane saba se pahale apane bhatIje ko diyA thA, vaha bAta btaaie| dAdAzrI : huA aisA ki 1951 meM kosabAr3a egrikalcara kaoNleja bana rahA thA, usakA kaoNnTraikTa liyA thaa| kosabAr3a karake eka egrikalcara phArma thA, vahA~ khetIbAr3I kA kaoNleja bana rahA thaa| nIrU mA~ : vaha jo sUrata ke pAsa kosamAr3A hai, vaha ? dAdAzrI : nahIM, kosamAr3A nahIM, kosbaadd'| usa samaya 1951 meM kAMti bhAI ko yaha AjJA dI thI ki, 'TakarAva ttaalnaa'| to abhI bhI ve usakA pAlana kara rahe haiN| nIrU mA~ : taba to Apako bhI jJAna nahIM huA thaa| dAdAzrI : lekina aisA vyavahArika jJAna thA sArA / vyavahArika jJAna to bahuta thaa| vyavasthita to mujhe una dinoM samajha meM A gayA thaa| isa AtmA ke jJAna ke alAvA bAkI kA anaMta janmoM kA anubhava jJAna sAtha meM AyA hai| lekina yaha vAkya kaise nikalA ki, 'kisI ke sAtha TakarAva meM mata AnA!' vaha pUrI bAta batAtA huuN| hamArA eka bhatIjA thaa| bhatIjA yAnI ki hamAre cAcA ke beTe kA bettaa| vaha bigar3a gayA thaa| z2arA tez2a svabhAva vAlA aura ulTe rAste calA gayA thaa| to usake phAdara mere yahA~ Ae, ve apane beTe ko lekara Ae the| maiMne unase kahA, 'Apake beTe ko bAhara khar3A rakho aura Apa yahA~ aao'| taba beTe ko

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332 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) bAhara khar3A rakhakara ve aMdara aae| mujhase pUchA, 'beTe ko aMdara baiThA dUM, dhUpa meM khar3A hai ?' maiMne kahA, 'nahIM bhAI, meharabAnI karake mere yahA~ mata baitthaanaa| isa lar3ake ko mere yahA~ nahIM baiThA skte'| vaha corI nahIM karatA lekina dhUrtatA to karatA hI hai| 'maiM aMbAlAla cAcA kA bhatIjA huuN| maiM Apake lie miTTI kA tela lA dU~gA, vaha lA duuNgaa'| kaMTrola ke samaya meM to logoM ko agara miTTI kA tela mila jAe to bahuta maz2A A jAtA thA na? to vaha rupae lekara bhAga gayA, usane logoM ke rupae vagairaha vApasa nahIM kie| usakI zikAyata AI, isalie maiM use ghusane nahIM detA thA, 'mere ghara meM nahIM, yahA~ para nahIM ghusane duuNgaa'| phira maiMne kahA, 'pUrI phaimilI meM sirpha Apake yahA~ para aisA beTA janmA!' aMdara ApakI cora dAnata hogI, mA~-bApa kI dAnata cora hogI tabhI aisA beTA paidA huaa| aisA kyoM paidA huA? maiM to aisA sakhta bolatA thaa| usa samaya jJAna nahIM thA isalie vyavahAra meM maiMne kyA kahA? ki 'isa ghara ko apavitra mata krnaa'| taba vaha lar3akA bAhara se kahane lagA ki 'dAdAjI, mujhe mApha kara diijie'| taba maiMne kahA, "maiM mApha kaba karU~gA ki jaba tU apanA sira muMDavA degA aura phira gA~va meM sabhI se kahegA ki, 'Thagakara maiMne jisa-jisa ke paise lie haiM, maiM una saba ke paise lauTA dUMgA', aura tU saba ko vApasa dekara aanaa|" corI karake nahIM lAyA thA lekina aisA saba bhI galata hI kahalAegA na? loga becAre vizvAsa se dete haiM aura loga yaha saba isa nAma se dete haiM ki, 'aMbAlAla kA bhatIjA hai'| to sira ke bAla muMDavAne kI zarta rakhI aura ghara baiThe tanakhvAha, isake alAvA kucha bhI nahIM karanA hogaa| maiM jo paise dU~, ve sAre paise bhAdaraNa meM mA~gane vAloM ko dekara AnA, jina-jina ko chalA ho, unheN| lekina usane cha: mahIne aisA karane ke bAda phira nahIM kiyaa| kyA maiMne use galata rAstA batAyA thA? praznakartA : acchA thA, daadaa| dAdAzrI : paise detA thA, to ghara baiThe sabhI ko de AtA thA aura

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 333 saba ke hastAkSara lekara mujhe detA thaa| taba phira maiM use phira se Age kI sarvisa detA thA, biz2anesa kA kAma maiM use sauMpa detA thaa| lar3akA hoziyAra thA lekina nahIM kiyaa| vaha vApasa yahA~ se bhAga gyaa| mere paisoM se sudhara jAe to bhI bahuta ho gayA to vaha saba jagaha se dhakke khAkara vApasa yahA~ aayaa| maiM aura mere bhAgIdAra kAMti bhAI so gae the| usa samaya vaha yahA~ Akara bAhara khar3A rahA aura kahane lagA, 'dAdAjI, maiM AyA huuN'| maiMne dhIraja rkhaa| maiMne kahA, 'yaha saba kyA hai ?' phira vaha batAne lagA ki, 'mujhe kahIM para koI bhI nahIM rakhatA, mujhe Apa hI saMbhAlo aura aba agara koI bhUla ho to mujhe samudra meM pheMka denaa'| taba phira merI A~kheM thor3I ThaMDI huii| yadi vaha aisA ephiDeviTa de rahA hai to usase z2yAdA to hameM kucha nahIM caahie| isalie phira maiMne apane yahA~ naukarI para rakhA, use sudhArane ke lie| hamAre bhAgIdAra se kaha diyA ki dasa haz2Ara kA nukasAna ho jAe yA kucha Ter3hA-mer3hA kare taba bhI leTa go karanA hai| agara koI vyakti mere paisoM se sudhara rahA hai to mere lie bahuta ho gyaa| usake bAda usa vyakti kI jitanI-jitanI burI AdateM thIM na, to maiMne usake sAmane eka zarta rkhii| maiMne bhAgIdAra se kahA, 'isa kAma kI pU~jI usake hAtha meM de do| usake hAtha meM pU~jI dekara kahanA ki 'tujhe kaccA likhanA hai aura sabhI ko paise vagairaha dene haiM aura saba ko mujhase pUchakara dene haiN| usameM tujhe terA kharca bhI likha denA hai'| phira maiMne kahA, 'jA, vasaI meM hamArA yaha kAma cala rahA hai, to tU vahA~ para jaa'| to maiMne use hisAba likhane ke lie kitAba dii| taba phira vaha sAre kAmakAja karatA thA lekina usa z2amAne meM roz2a ATha-dasa rupae ur3A detA thA, 1942 meN| taba phira maiMne usase kyA kahA ki, 'bhAI, aisA hamAre yahA~ nahIM clegaa| tu jo bhI karatA hai vaha yahA~ para likha denA to maiM calA lU~gA, lekina tU isa taraha idharaudhara paisoM kA gar3abar3a-ghoTAlA kara detA hai| yoM to tU isameM kucha bhI galata nahIM likha rahA hai aura isa taraha gar3abar3a kara rahA hai| aba

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334 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) likhnaa| tU agara sigareTa pIe to bhI likhanA, dArU pIe to bhI likhnaa'| maiMne use chUTa dI thI ki 'maiM tujhe DA~TraeNgA nahIM lekina tujhe sudhaaruuNgaa'| phira bhI kyA vaha likha letA? usake bAda dhIre-dhIre maiMne patA lgaayaa| maiMne kahA, 'isakA kyA hai ?' hamAre bhAgIdAra se maiMne kahA, 'cAhe kitane bhI paise kharca hoM lekina isa lar3ake ko sudhaaro| vaha apane khuda ke anaMta janma bigAr3a degA aura zakti to hai, idhara moDeMge to sIdhA clegaa'| usake bAda hamAre bhAgIdAra ne taya kiyA ki, 'cAhe bAraha mahInoM meM pA~ca hajAra bigar3eM to bigar3eM lekina hameM ise sudhAranA hai'| DhU~Dha nikAlA ki yaha to mere paisoM kA sadupayoga karatA hai phira patA lgaayaa| taba usakA kyA hisAba milA? hara eka vyakti ne mujhase kahA ki, 'ApakA bhatIjA bahuta acchA iMsAna hai| bahuta hI nobala mAinDa vAlA hai'| maiMne pUchA, 'aisA? hamArA bhatIjA nobala hai? Apako aisA kaise lagA?' to kahA, "hameM dekhate hI vaha kahatA hai 'Aie, Aie, Aie, cAya pIjie' kahatA hai, aura aisA hai ki sTezana kI hoTala meM bIsa logoM ko cAya pilA detA hai|" maiMne kahA, 'vaha to samajhadAra hai'| taba mujhe yaha bAta pakar3a meM aaii| maiM DhU~Dha rahA thA ki 'paise kisameM jAte haiM? kahA~ kharca karatA hai?' to mujhe yaha acchA lgaa| acchA hai, logoM ko cAya pilAtA hai| mere paisoM kA sadupayoga karatA hai| phira patA lagAne para mujhe aisA lagA ki yaha abhI taka khuda para kharca nahIM kara rahA thaa| 'ohoho! Apane to mujhe kaI bAra nAztA karavAyA hai| to loga usakI 'vAha, vAha' karate the| yaha saba vaha logoM ke lie karatA thaa| vaha to DhU~Dhane para patA cala gyaa| anya koI galata rAstA nahIM thA ki brAnDI yA aisA kuch| kisI taraha kI burI Adata nahIM thI isalie phira maiMne leTa go kiyaa| maiMne kahA, 'aba cAhe ulTA-sIdhA likhe taba bhI mujhe harja nahIM hai'| kyoMki agara maiM use yaha kahatA ki, 'tU yaha acchA kara rahA hai' to use enkarijamenTa milatA aura vaha pUre gA~va ko cAya nAztA krvaataa| usase apanA kAma dhaMdhA ruka jaataa| mujhe to jo jAnanA thA vaha DhU~Dha nikaalaa|

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[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 335 vaha aisA AdamI thA ki eka bAra merI madara ko bhAdaraNa jAnA thaa| vaha bar3audA sTezana para aayaa| mujhase pUchA, 'bA ko kahA~ baiThAe~ge?' maiMne kahA, 'bhAI, bA ko gAr3I meM baiThAnA hai'| taba usane kahA, 'nahIM, maiMne sTezana mAsTara jI se kaha rakhA hai| hamAre dAdA kI bA A rahI haiN'| 'are, sTezana mAsTara jI se hameM kyA lenA-denA?' aura mujhe to bojha, bodarezana lagatA hai| hameM aisI jAna-pahacAna kyoM cAhie? hameM na to beTe kI zAdI karanI hai aura na hI beTI kI, to phira hameM sTezana mAsTara jI se kyA kAma hai? hameM TikaTa lekara yahA~ baiThanA hai| use aisA rauba dikhAnA thA ki 'mere dAdA!' isalie jAkara sTezana mAsTara jI se kahA, 'patA hai kauna Ae haiM ? jJAnI haiM aura aisA saba hai'| vaha mAsTara to becArA kA~pa gyaa| usa becAre ne vahA~ para rUma kholakara de diyaa| jahA~ baiThAte haiM, vaha! praznakartA : hA~, veTiMga ruum| dAdAzrI : veTiMga ruum| to bA ko vahA~ para baitthaayaa| phira maiMne kahA, 'bhAI, bA se calA nahIM jAtA aura gAr3I cala par3egI to phira parezAnI ho jaaegii| tU bA ko vahA~ para le jA aura vahA~ kursI para baiThA de'| 'dAdAjI, bA ko ArAma se baiThane do'| usane aisA kahA aura gAr3I cala pdd'ii| maiMne kahA, 'are mue, yaha kyA kiyA? aba bA kaise dauDeMgI?' usane kahA, 'koI parezAnI nahIM daadaajii| Apa bA ko baiThe rahane do| usane gaI huI gAr3I ko vApasa bulavAyA aura bA ko baiThAne ke bAda gAr3I clii| yAnI vaha jo paise kharca karatA thA na, usake pIche yaha bala thaa| yoM paise pAnI kI taraha bahAtA thA aura relve ke paise nahIM bharatA thA phira vApasa usane kyA kiyA? kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma thA hmaaraa| kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma thA to mAla to le jAnA par3atA thA na? to hara bAra sTezana para se hamArA mAla le AtA thaa| muMbaI se mAla lekara AtA thA relve meM, to vaz2ana karavAnA cAhie na? vaz2ana krvaakr| bahuta vaz2anadAra

Page #401
jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) mAla hotA thA saaraa| do-cAra mana ( eka mana arthAt 20 kilogrAma), pA~ca mana vaz2ana hotA thA to usakA vaz2ana karake isa prakAra se use lAnA caahie| hamane kahA ki, 'terA jitanA kharca ho utanA, usakA lageja (kirAyA) bhrnaa'| lekina lageja bhare bagaira mAra- Thokakara mAla le AtA thaa| TikaTa kalekTara se jhagar3A karatA thA aura bavAla macA detA thA / sTezana mAsTara jI se jhagar3A aura jahA~ dekho vahA~ jhagar3A, jhagar3A aura jhagar3A! relve meM bhI mArAmArI karatA thA / yoM to paise pAnI kI taraha bahAtA thA lekina niyamAnusAra relve ke jo paise bharane hote the, vaha nahIM bharatA thA aura Upara se jhagar3A karatA thA / isalie phira mere pAsa zikAyateM AtI thIM ki, 'Apake bhatIje ko nikAla do, yaha ApakI iz2z2ata bigAr3a rahA hai'| 336 'TakarAva TAlanA' sUtra prakAza meM AyA isa prakAra se taba maiMne kahA ki, 'bhAI, maiMne terA kyA bigAr3A hai ki tU merI iz2z2ata bigAr3a rahA hai? yadi tujhe AbarU bigAr3anI hai, to tU calA jA' / taba phira usane mujhase kahA ki, 'dAdA, mujhe koI dharma dIjie, mujhe ina saba bAtoM meM sUjha nahIM pdd'tii| Apa roz2a pustakeM par3hate haiN| mujhe aisA kucha dikhAie ki mere AtmA kA kalyANa ho !' taba maiMne usase kahA ki, 'tujhe sikhAkara kyA karanA hai ? tU to sabhI ke sAtha TakarAtA hai'| sarakAra meM dasa rupae bharane par3eM, utanA sAmAna lAtA hai phira bhI paise bhare bagaira lAtA hai aura yoM logoM ko bIsa-bIsa rupae kA cAya-nAztA karavA detA hai! to usase ve loga khuza ho jAte haiN| dasa bacate nahIM haiM, balki dasa rupae z2yAdA kharca ho jAte haiM, aisA nobala AdamI hai| maiMne kahA, 'are, tujhe kyA karanA hai ? terA kalyANa ho cukA hai ! aura kitane hI logoM ko mArakara AtA hai, kyA vaha kama hai ?' taba usane kahA, 'mere AtmA kA bhI kucha honA cAhie na ! mujha para kucha kRpA kiijie'| taba maiMne kahA, 'dekha, maiM tujhe eka pur3iyA detA hU~, pAlana karegA?' usane kahA, 'mara jAU~gA lekina usa pur3iyA ko choDUMgA nhiiN'| maiMne kahA, 'basa ! kisI ke sAtha TakarAva meM mata AnA, itanI

Page #402
[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 337 sI pudd'iyaa'| phira pur3iyA lekara usane par3hI, phira vaha calA gyaa| phira dUsare dina mujhase kahatA hai, 'TakarAva meM nahIM AnA, lekina usakA artha kyA hai ?' taba maiMne kahA, 'hA~, baiTha ab'| maiMne kahA, 'aba yahA~ se tU bAhara nikalegA aura sAmane sA~pa A jAe to kyA tU usase TakarA jAegA?' 'nahIM, maiM to ghUmakara jaauuNgaa'| maiMne kahA, 'kyoM?' to kahatA hai, 'kATa khaaegaa'| maiMne kahA, 'acchA! aura agara sAmane bAgha A jAe to?' 'nhiiN| bhAga jaauuNgaa'| maiMne kahA, 'bhaiMsA A jAe to?' taba kahA, 'nhiiN| ghUmakara jaauuNgaa'| maiMne kahA, 'agara sAmane patthara ho to? to kyA tU aisA kahegA ki patthara tU yahA~ para kyoM khar3A hai ? tU haTa yahA~ se'| taba usane kahA, 'nahIM, / kUdakara calA jaauuNgaa| use haTA sakate haiM kyA?' aise karate-karate pahale use sthUla TakarAva TAlane kI bAta smjhaaii| sthUla, jo A~khoM se dikhAI de, mana kA kAma nhiiN| mana kI isameM z2arUrata hI nahIM hai| jo A~khoM se dikhAI de, pahale vaisA TakarAva TAlanA sikhaayaa| niyama se sUtra kA pAlana kiyA, aura bana gayA sakSama phira sUkSma TakarAva TAlanA sikhaayaa| kisI ke sAtha matabheda ho jAe aura hameM lage ki vaha hamezA ke lie TUTa jAegA to isase pahale kahanA ki, 'nhiiN-nhiiN| yaha to mujhase galatI ho gii'| aisA karake sulaha kara lenaa| mujhe kahatA hai, 'yaha to A gayA mujhe'| vaha saba to use AtA thaa| yaha to usakI mUla lAina thii| ataH aisA karate-karate TakarAva TAlanA hai, usa niyama se vaha TikA huA hai| abhI taka TikA huA hai| eka hI lAina, bs| aba jaise yaha hamArA bhatIjA lagatA hai usI taraha hamAre dUsare bhatIje bharuca TeksaTAila mila ke mAlika, ina caMdrakAMta bhAI ke cAcA the| unhoMne bhI isa bhatIje ko vApasa naukarI para rakhA thaa| mujhase pUchA ki, 'yaha Apake yahA~ para thA to kyoM nikala gayA?' maiMne kahA, 'samajhadAra ho gayA hai| aba Apa rkhnaa'| to unhoMne acchI tanakhvAha para rkhaa| usa lar3ake ne to bahuta hI acchI taraha se unakA kAma karake

Page #403
338 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dikhAyA kyoMki bahuta kepebala (kSamatA vAlA) ho gayA thA, pUrA taMtra calA de, aisaa| jaba bhI maiM jAtA thA to mAlikoM ne kaha rakhA thA ki, 'cAcA Ae~ to unakA saba isa taraha rkhnaa'| jaba maiM jAtA thA, to pravezadvAra meM se ghusate hI paharedAra aura bAkI saba aise-aise karate rahate the| yoM laMbA koTa pahanakara jAtA thA aura phira kahalAtA thA unakA cAcA! 'are! seTha ke cAcA Ae, vahA~ para rauba par3atA thA hmaaraa| eka bAra hameM bharuca ke bAz2Ara meM jAnA thaa| usane rAste meM ghoDA gADI vAle se kahA ki, "eya... cl'| to pUre bharuca meM koI bhI ghor3A gAr3I vAlA ho yA koI bhI ho lekina agara vaha usase kahe ki idhara Ao, to vaha A jAtA thaa| aura koI cArA hI nahIM hotA thA usake pAsa! usane yadi apanI bIvI ko baiThAyA hotA to use bhI utAra denA par3atA thaa| itanA raubilA iMsAna thA! mujhe ghor3A gAr3I meM lekara miThAI vAle ke vahA~ le gyaa| hara eka miThAI vAlA bAhara nikalakara jaya-jaya kara rahA thaa| 'are! seTha jI ke cAcA Ae haiM, seTha jI ke cAcA Ae haiM!' usane saba jagaha batA diyA thaa| aba miThAI vAle ko kyA lAbha mila rahA hogA? jaba-jaba bhI mila meM z2arUrata par3atI thI, taba oNrDara dete the to miThAI vAle khuza ho jAte the ki 'merA kAma ho gyaa'| kamizana-vamizana nahIM khAtA thaa| ve agara sirpha 'bApa jI-bApa jI' kareM to bhI bahuta thaa| mere cAcA ko 'bApa jI' kahA na! aura use bhI Adara se bulAte the| basa yahI, 'mAna khAU~, mAna khaauuN'| usake bAda rAvajI bhAI seTha ne mujhase kahA, "ise kaisA taiyAra kiyA hai Apane! Apane kahA thA na, ki 'Apa matabheda nahIM DAla sakoge!' to maiMne matabheda DAlane ke prayatna kie| maiM mila mAlika hokara isake sAtha matabheda DAlane ke prayatna karatA huuN| maiM idhara se matabheda DAlU~ to vaha usa ora ghUma jAtA hai aura idhara se DAlU~ to usa ora ghUma jAtA hai| matabheda nahIM hone detaa|" maiMne kahA, "nahIM hone degaa'| aba vaha matabheda

Page #404
[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 339 nahIM hone degaa| kahIM z2arA sI z2yAdA jhaMjhaTa huI ki vahA~ se khisaka jAegA, aura phira kaise khisakatA hai ? yoM hI nahIM, Apake mana ko tor3akara nhiiN| Apa para hAtha-vAtha pherakara kahegA, 'dekhie, kala subaha cAya-nAztA hai, Apako AnA hai|" Azcarya hI hai na! maiMne usase kahA, 'tU agara TakarAva nahIM karegA to mokSa meM jaaegaa'| 1951 meM usase kahA thA to Aja taka kisI ke sAtha TakarAva meM nahIM AyA hai| yadi mere isa eka hI vAkya kA pAlana karegA na ki 'kisI se TakarAnA mata', to vaha mokSa meM jaaegaa| kyA kahA? 'TakarAva TAlanA', jaldI mokSa meM jAne kA sAdhana praznakartA : kisI se TakarAnA mt| dAdAzrI : 'TakarAva TAlanA' itane hI zabda, itanA hI kahA thaa| praznakartA : do hI zabda, TakarAva ttaalnaa| dAdAzrI : TheTha mokSa meM jAne taka kI gAranTI hai merii| pahale sthUla artha samajha meM AegA, phira sUkSma samajha meM AegA, phira sUkSmatara samajha meM AegA, usake bAda suukssmtm| sUkSmatama kauna sA? taba usane kahA, 'caMdU ke sAtha tanmayatA, aisA TakarAva nahIM hone denA hai'| kyA kahA? praznakartA : tanmayAkAra nahIM hone denA hai| dAdAzrI : yoM khuda hai to AtmA, to phira caMdra se ApakA TakarAva hI huA na? yaha usakA sUkSmatama artha hai| ataH ina eka-eka vAkyoM meM pUre zAstra samAe hue haiN| ye sAre jaldI se mokSa meM jAne ke sAdhana die haiN| praznakartA : ThIka hai| sahI tarIke se pakar3a leM to... dAdAzrI : to kAma ho jaaegaa| bhatIje kA roga nikAlane ke lie milA sunaharA sUtra vaha to bhatIje kA roga nikAlate hue milA na mujhe| aura koI

Page #405
340 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) bhI roga nahIM, sirpha yahI rog| taba maiMne kahA, 'yaha roga (auroM ko khilAne-pilAne kA) to mujhe pasaMda hai| aisA rogI ho aura agara usase kucha nahIM ho pA rahA ho to phira maiM itanA to kahU~gA ki, 'kucha nahIM to logoM ko cAya pilAkara khuza krnaa'| lekina usameM to merA manapasaMda roga thaa| maiMne kahA, 'bhale hI kharca kre'| usakA mAna pusAtA thaa| basa, aisA kahA ki, 'tujhe cAya-nAztA karavA denA hai'| nAztA-vAztA karavAtA thaa| abhI to z2arA AmadanI ThaMDI par3a gaI hai| phira bhI marda iMsAna hai ! cAhe kaisA bhI kAma ho, pradhAnamaMtrI ke pAsa jAnA ho to jA Ae, aisA thA lekina Aja pA~ca sAloM se aisI zakti nahIM hai| bAkI, aisA thA ki pradhAnamaMtrI ke bhI dastakhata le aae| sabakucha karanA AtA hai| karekTa tarIke se / aMdara se saaph| dUsarI koI dAnata hI nahIM thii| sirpha yhii| Upara se kahatA thA, 'dAdA, ApakA bhatIjA hU~ na! bAkI bahuta kharAba guNa nahIM hai| ApakA ehasAna hai, Apa kitane bar3e mana vAle haiM !' phira vaha lar3akA sApha ho gayA, phira pyora ho gyaa| phira to hAI levala kA ho gyaa| mila ke seTha ke lie to usakI kImata bahuta bar3ha gaI, lekina yoM sudhara gyaa| ___ataH agara isa taraha kA eka vAkya bhI samajha le na, to bahuta ho gyaa| kisa taraha negeTiva guNa ko paoNz2iTiva meM badale? aba agara eka lar3akA cora hai, to usameM usake mA~-bApa ko aura ghara vAloM ko kitanA hI hAya hAya, bApa re bApa hotA rahatA hai| are, agara lar3akA cora hai to yaha hAya hAya, bApa re bApa kyoM kara rahe ho? 'are bhAI, aisA to hotA hai| tUne isakA kyA upAya DhU~DhA hai ? use pheMka denA hai?' taba kahate haiM, 'nahIM, pheMka to kaise sakate haiM?' 'to bhAI, tU upAya batA mujhe'| taba usane kahA, 'nahIM, isakA koI upAya nahIM hai| tabhI hameM kahanA hai ki, 'yaha lar3akA to bahuta hI acchA hai'| use corI karanA to AtA hai na! kucha to AyA na ise?

Page #406
[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 341 praznakartA : corI karanA bhI AyA na ! dAdAzrI : hA~... isalie zAMti rakha na, bhaaii| yaha samajhadAra ho jAegA, pharsTa klAsa sayAnA ho jaaegaa| usakI jeba nahIM kttegii| dUsaroM kI jeba kaTegI lekina usakI jeba nahIM kaTI hogii| vaha kyA kisI ko jeba kATane degA? jabaki terI jeba to saba se pahale kaTa jaaegii| hamAre jo bhAI hai, unhoMne bI.esa.sI.., bI.phArma. kiyA hai| eka bAra TikaTa gira gaI hogI yA jo kucha bhI huA ho, sAMtA krUz2a ke sTezana para TikaTa vAle ne unheM khar3A rkhaa| taba unakA choTA bhAI aayaa| Akara unhoMne kahA, 'Apa jAo, jAo aap'| 'eya, kyA hai?' isa taraha rAstA nikAla deMge vaha to| par3he likhe haiM na! lekina aise saba skUloM meM par3he par3hegA nahIM to vyavahArika sUjha to khilegI, isalie DonTa Disamisa enIbaDI yoM skUla meM par3he hue the ve log| ye bI.I., iMjIniyara bane haiM aura ve bI.esa.sI., bI.phArma hue lekina aise skUla meM koI nahIM pddh'aa| yaha bhAI to aise saba skUloM meM par3he haiM! biz2anesa meM se nikAla diyA thaa| usa bhAI ne paMdraha sAla meM hamAre sAtha biz2anesa meM lAkha se savA lAkha rupae apane Apa para hI kharca kara die the! kisameM? ghara kharca meM nahIM, biz2anesa meM khuda ke paoNkeTa ikspensa! (jeba khacI) praznakartA : paoNkeTa ikspensa! dAdAzrI : haaN| to unake phAdara ne kahA, 'yaha lar3akA kaise pusAegA?' taba maiMne kahA, 'to ise samudra meM DAla do aura yadi vaha ThIka lagatA hai to use rahane do'| taba unhoMne kahA, 'samudra meM kaise DAla sakate haiM ?' taba maiMne kahA, 'to phira kyA kareM? mujhe isakA upAya batAie?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'isakA koI upAya nahIM hai lekina kyA isakA kucha sudharegA nahIM?' maiMne kahA, 'samaya Ane para vaha sudhara jAegA, yoM hI nahIM sudhregaa| vaha sabhI skUloM kI par3hAI kara legaa| phira vaha bevakUpha nahIM

Page #407
342 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) bnegaa'| vaha saba skUloM se par3hakara AyA hai na! savA lAkha rupae kharca kie haiM, ve kyA bekAra jAe~ge? __ abhI eksaparTa ho cukA hai, pharsTa klAsa! cAhe kisI ko bhI chur3avA sakatA hai| abhI yadi kisI ne dAdA ko pakar3a liyA ho to chur3avA sakatA hai| kisI ko bhI pUrI taraha se chur3avA sakatA hai, cAhe kahIM bhI ho phira bhii| use yaha saba AtA hai| ataH yaha paise kharca karanA bekAra nahIM jAtA ! kyA aise-vaise kisI skUla meM par3hA hai yaha iMsAna? bhale hI paise bahuta kharca hue lekina kucha to par3hA hai isa iMsAna ne! yoM hI kahIM kharca hotA hogA? isalie Darane jaisA nahIM hai| vaha aisA lar3akA nahIM hai! aba use vApasa aise kisI kaoNleja meM par3hane nahIM bhejanA hai| vaha jahA~ hai vahA~ rahe, hameM yaha samajhakara sukhI honA hai ki yaha nae kaoNleja meM par3ha rahA hai ! vaha kabhI hamAre kAma aaegaa| nahIM? usake sAre bhAI skUloM meM par3he the| ve sabhI bhAI isase parezAna ho jAte the| maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, yaha bahuta acchA iMsAna hai| yaha hai to kAma clegaa'| taba pUchA, 'lekina yaha saba?' to maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, vaha saba baMda ho jAegA aura jo usake kAma kA hai, vahI guNa bcegaa'| abhI vaha saba baMda ho gayA hai aura vaha aisA hai ki kisI ke kAma aae| kahate haiM ki, 'unake jaisA koI bhI nahIM hai !' aba agara una dinoM use Disamisa kara diyA hotA, to kyA hotA? ataH 'DonTa Disamisa eniibddii'| kyA kahA? praznakartA : DonTa Disamisa eniibddii| dAdAzrI : haaN| bar3A, bahuta vizAla mana rakhanA hai| dAdA ke bhatIje kA anubhava unake hI mukha se praznakartA (kAMti bhAI) : Apane mujhe jo maMtra diyA... dAdAzrI : hA~, vaha to mujhe yAda hai| praznakartA (kAMti bhAI) : abhI bhI usa maMtra ko pakar3akara rakhA hai lekina kaI bAra mujhe aisA ho bhI jAtA hai| phira turaMta Apake zabda

Page #408
[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 343 yAda Ate haiM ki 'dAdA ne mujhe kyA kahA thA?' isalie phira hAtha vApasa khiMca jAtA hai| varnA hAtha to uTha hI jAtA hai ! use jo zabda kahA thA ki 'TakarAva meM nahIM AnA,' to TakarAva nhiiN| bs| dAdAzrI : lekina mana meM kisI ke lie kharAba vicAra nahIM Ate haiM na? praznakartA (kAMti bhAI): nahIM, nhiiN| kharAba hoM to kaha bhI detA hU~, haaN| mujhe kharAba vicAra A gayA to usake mu~ha para kaha detA hU~ ki, 'tU aisA hai'| praznakartA (kAMti bhAI) mahAtmA se : (zuruAta meM) jaba maiM dAdA ke yahA~ jAtA thA na taba dAdA mAmA kI pola meM rahate the| taba merI umra satraha sAla kI thI, Aja (1986 meM) merI umra bAsaTha sAla kI hai| dAdAzrI : Apa saba eka meM se the yA z2Iro meM se? praznakartA (2) : pUrI taraha se jIro hii| dAdAzrI : aisA? aba eka ho gayA ApakA? praznakartA (2) : ho gyaa| dAdAzrI : bahuta kAma ho gayA phira to| praznakartA (kAMti bhAI) : maiM to bahuta zarAratI thA, caacaa| dAdAzrI : hA~, lekina mere sAmane bahuta sIdhA rahatA hai| praznakartA (kAMti bhAI): vaha to ThIka hai, lekina taba aise kA~patA thaa| kyoM? kyoMki mere phAdara kahate the na ki, 'Apa le jAo ise'| abhI bhI mujhe yAda hai na ki kAzI bA ne kahA thA ki, 'Apa ise le jAo, mujhe isakA ceharA bhI nahIM dekhanA hai'| itanA taka kaha diyA thA aapko| dAdAzrI : hA~, aisA kahA thA n|

Page #409
344 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA (kAMti bhAI) : taba Apane kahA thA ki, 'bhAI ko maiM le jA rahA huuN| __ taba Apane mujhe sIdhA vasaI korTa meM, jahA~ kAma cala rahA thA vahA~ rakha diyaa| phira mujhe kosabAr3a ke kAma para rkhaa| ThIka hai? dAdAzrI : hA~... praznakartA (kAMti bhAI) : yadi Apane nahIM rakhA hotA to kaba kA khatma hI ho cukA hotaa| dAdAzrI : haaN| praznakartA (kAMti bhAI): agara Apane nahIM rakhA hotA to phira merI jiMdagI kaise saphala hotI? ___ hA~, lekina Apane rakhA, usake bAda sabhI ko lAina para lagA diyaa| dAdAzrI : acchA hai| hamArA to yahI kAma-dhaMdhA hai na! praznakartA (kAMti bhAI) : Apane saba ko jIvanadAna diyaa| ThIka hai na? dAdAzrI : nimitta huuN| praznakartA (kAMti bhAI) : sIdhe logoM ko to sabhI rakhate haiM, lekina jo Ter3hoM ko rakhe vaha marda / dAdAzrI : ye saba Ter3he hI haiM! praznakartA (2) : pUrI taraha se Ter3he the, daadaa| dAdAzrI : Apa bhI Ter3he... praznakartA (kAMti bhAI) : maiM to bahuta hI thaa| praznakartA (2) : hama aMdara se bahuta tteddh'e|

Page #410
[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 345 dAdAzrI : Apa jyAdA Ter3he the... praznakartA (kAMti bhAI) : maiM to z2yAdA... atyaMta / dAdAzrI : Apa to sau prtisht| praznakartA (kAMti bhAI) : sau prtisht| dAdAzrI : abhI to, yaha pA~ca pulisa vAloM ko yahA~ para pakar3akara le aae| inspekTaroM ko bhI pakar3akara le aae| praznakartA (2): ve abhI batA rahe the na ki, 'maiM yahA~ AtA thA na, to ahamadAbAdI pola ke lar3akoM ko mArate-mArate AtA thaa'| dAdAzrI : hA~, to yahI dekhanA hai! ye yahI dikhA rahe haiN| praznakartA (kAMti bhAI) : Apane yadi mere lie yaha nahIM kiyA hotA to kyA maiM abhI yahA~ taka pahu~ca pAtA? nahIM pahu~ca paataa| Apane hI mujhe z2Iro meM se avvala banAyA hai| dAdAzrI : hA~, lekina aisA koI kahatA nahIM hai n| kahakara nahIM btaataa| ye khuda to upakAra bhUlate hI nahIM haiM n| isI ko mAnavatA kahate haiM, devapanA kahate haiN| ye iMsAna nahIM kahalAe~ge, devatA khlaaeNge| praznakartA (kAMti bhAI) - mahAtmAoM se : ina dAdA bhagavAna ne mujhe iMsAna bnaayaa| dAdA bhagavAna kA eka hI AzIrvAda kAphI hai| agara Apako eka hI AzIrvAda de, lekina usa AzIrvAda ko pakar3akara rakho to, amala meM lAo to pUrI jiMdagI saphala ho jaaegii| bAkI, merA to bahuta calatA thA bAta-bAta meN| ApameM se, koI kucha bhI bAta kare to merI spriMga uchala jAtI thii| kisI meM agara thor3A-bahuta krodha ho to use kaMTrola kiyA jA sakatA hai, lekina jise sau pratizata krodha AtA ho, use kaMTrola karanA to bahuta muzkila hai| usa para merA sau pratizata kaMTrola ho gayA, ye use jIro para le aae| Aja inakI vajaha se maiM sukhI hU~, bs| bAkI, samajho na, agara aisA kaheM to bhI calegA ki 'inhoMne mujhe jAnavara meM se iMsAna bnaayaa'|

Page #411
346 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) atyaMta gussA, yoM calate-calate bhI mujhe gussA A jAtA thaa| yoM ahamadAbAda kI pola meM ghUmane AyA aura agara loga merI haoNkI pakar3a leM to mujhe gussA A jAtA thA, samajha gae? sabhI parezAna ho gae the| ina dAdA ne rakhA... dAdAzrI : aisA hai na, maiM jAnatA thA ki yaha asalI hIrA hai| lekina isameM kharAbI A gaI hai, lekina agara ise tarAzeMge to ThIka ho sakatA hai, jabaki loga to nikAla dete haiN| maiMne ise traashaa| usake bAda ekadama oNla raaitt| yaha asalI hIrA hai na! hai asalI mAla, islie| kyoMki pahale hI dina isane mujhase kahA thA ki, 'dAdA Apa rakhie, varnA phira mujhe dariyA meM pheMka denaa'| praznakartA (kAMti bhAI): aura mere madara-phAdara ne to kahA thA ki, 'hamAre ghara para to lAnA hI mt'| dAdAzrI : maiMne kahA thA, 'samudra meM nahIM pheMka skte'| lekina acchA hai, yaha to ThIka ho gyaa| acche-kharAba ke sarTiphikeTa meM bhI samabhAva se nikAla praznakartA : dAdA, jJAna hone ke bAda parivAra ke logoM ke sAtha kA vyavahAra kaisA thA? dAdAzrI : hamArA eka bhatIjA hai, vaha bharuca TeksaTAila mila kA seTha thaa| usane kahA, 'cAcA, jaise Apa pahale the, usase to abhI bigar3a gae hai| cAcA kitane acche iMsAna the aura yaha dharma ke cakkara meM par3ane se bigar3a ge'| taba maiMne use kyA kahA? 'tU bar3A AdamI hai isalie tujhe isameM kucha samajha nahIM aaegaa| maiM pahale se aisA hI thA lekina tujhe patA nahIM claa| maiM to jAnatA hU~ na ki maiM kaisA thA! yaha to bahuta hI viSama iMsAna hai terA cAcA to!' usane kahA, 'lekina pahale aise nahIM the na?' maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, zurU se aisA hI thA lekina Apako patA nahIM thaa| maiM isake sAtha hI sAtha rahatA hU~ na!' taba usane kahA, 'aise kyA kaha rahe haiM?' maiMne kahA, 'ise zurU se hI jAnatA huuN| pahacAnatA hU~ tere cAcA ko',

Page #412
[9] kuTuMba - cacere bhAI-bhatIje tAki phira mujhe Dipresa nahIM kara sake na ! to phira kyA hama use nahIM pahacAnate the? pUrI taraha se pahacAnate the| 347 isa taraha se kahakara niber3A lA dete haiM lekina aisA nahIM kahate ki 'hama aise nahIM hai'| zurU se aisA hai kaha dete haiM tAki vaha samajhe ki ye pahale aise nahIM the, phira bhI aisA kaha rahe haiM ! aura usakA koI artha hI nahIM hai| vaha bAta ko ur3A hI degA / vaha aisA mAnatA hai ki mujha meM kucha galata hai / ' to bhAI, tujhameM sahI kyA hai ? yoM hI gappa, binA samajhe bola rahA hai !' 'Apa z2arA aise ho gae haiM, Apa aise ho gae haiN| Apa aba kuTuMba ke prati prema bhAva nahIM rakhate, zAdiyoM meM nahIM aate'| to phira maiM zAdI vagairaha meM jAkara AtA hU~ / 'hA~, cAcA Ae the / cAcA bahuta acche iMsAna haiM !' to bhAI, tU vahI kA vahI hai, tere bajAya to isa skUla ke sarTiphikeTa acche ! jiMdagI bhara pAsa ( uttIrNa) hai aisA hI dikhAte haiM / maiTrika pAsa likhate haiM yA nahIM likhate ? aura Apa to ghar3I bhara meM acche aura ghar3I bhara meM bure ! to yaha jagat to isI taraha calatA rahegA lekina hama samabhAva se nikAla kara dete haiM, bahuta acchI trh| cacere bhAIyoM kA guNa, ve Ter3hA bolate haiM vaha to eka jagaha hamAre gA~va meM hameM satsaMga ke lie bulAyA thA, to vahA~ satsaMga kara rahe the taba hamAre eka cacere bhAI Ter3hA-mer3hA bolane lge| unhoMne baiThe-baiThe bolanA zurU kiyA ki 'ye bahuta bar3I rakama dabAkara baiThe haiM, khUba dabAkara baiThe haiM isalie satsaMga ho rahA hai ArAma se'| kyA kahA ? praznakartA : khUba dabAkara baiThe haiM / dAdAzrI : maiM samajha gayA ki yaha iMsAna cacerepana ke guNa kI vajaha se aisA kaha rahA hai| usase sahana nahIM ho pA rahA hai| maiMne kahA, 'bhAI, Apako kyA patA maiM kyA dabAkara baiThA hU~? Apako kyA patA ki mere baiMka meM kyA hai ?' taba usane kahA, 'are, dabAe bagaira to aisA kaha hI nahIM sakate na, satsaMga hogA hI kaise ? ' maiMne kahA, 'baiMka meM jAkara patA

Page #413
348 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) lagA aao'| lAkha rupae Ane se pahale koI na koI bama (kharca) A jAtA hai aura phira kharca ho jAte haiN| yAnI jamA to hote hI nahIM hai kabhI bhI aura kamI par3I nhiiN| bAkI kucha bhI dabAyA karA nahIM hai| agara hamAre pAsa paisA AegA, taba dabAe~ge na? vaisI rakama AtI hI nahIM hai to dabAe~ge kaise? aura hameM vaisA kucha cAhie bhI nhiiN| hameM to na kamI par3atI hai, na jyAdA AtA hai| dekhakara zuddhAtmA, laTU ke lie nahIM rakhA abhiprAya praznakartA : jaba aisA sunate haiM taba lagatA hai ki dAdA ne sAre, kitanI taraha ke eDajasTamenTa lie hoMge! dAdAzrI : hA~, jo kismata meM likhA hai, usase to chUTa hI nahIM sakate na! hamAre gA~va ke the, cacere bhAI the isalie hameM bhI sIdhe rahanA par3atA thA unake saamne| agara kabhI burA laga jAe na, to vApasa sahI karanA par3atA thaa| hAtha vagairaha pheranA par3atA thaa| lekina yaha saba DrAmeTika thaa| kaisA? agara DrAme meM abhinaya nahIM kiyA jAe na, to mAlika daMDa degaa| ye jo riztedAra hote haiM na. ve to mujhase aisA kahate haiM ki, 'Apa to aba satsaMga karane lage ho| Apako to aba duniyA kI kucha par3I hI nahIM hai| maiMne kahA, 'are, nahIM! Apake binA mujhe acchA hI nahIM lgtaa'| jaba aisA kahate haiM to phira ve vApasa khuza ho jAte haiM ! lo, vApasa bhUla jAte haiM ! ve bhI bhUla jAte aura hama to bhUlakara hI baiThe haiM na! phira hama nATaka karate haiN| 'ApakI to bAta hI alaga hai, Apa to blaDa rilezana vAle ho'| aisA saba nATaka karate haiM vaaps| dekho! apane Apa hI bhAdaraNa jAkara Ae haiM na hama? cacere bhAIoM se bhI dUrI nahIM rkhii| gA~va meM se eka-do loga nahIM Ae the, jo bahuta hI virodhI hoMge, ve| balki una do logoM ne kyA kiyA? balki unheM jahA~ para bhI loga dikhAI dete the to vahA~ kaha Ate ki 'dAdA bhagavAna Ae haiM, hN'| to eka vyakti ne kahA bhI sahI ki, 'vaha to balki ApakA propagenDA (pracAra) kara deNge'| hA~, ve to jagaha-jagaha para kahakara Ae ! 'vahA~ mata jAnA, darzana krne'| aisA

Page #414
[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 349 hai yaha jagat to! agara vaha mile to hameM usake prati abhiprAya nahIM rhegaa| agara vaha mila jAe to use patA bhI nahIM calegA ki mujhe usakI isa bAta kI khabara hai ! kyoMki usake lie kyA abhiprAya rakhanA? jaba vaha khuda hI laTU hai to| zuddhAtmA aura laTU do hI haiM, isake alAvA hai hI kyA? usake pitA jI darzana kara gae the becAre aura vaha to vahA~ pUre gA~va meM Ter3hA hI bolatA rhaa| (satsaMga kAryakrama meM) jaba hamAre bigula baje na, to use acchA nahIM lgaa| pahale usI ko sunAI detA thA, kyoMki vaha iMtaz2Ara karake hI baiThA rahatA thA na ! praznakartA : jisa prakAra se naTu bhAI ne AvAz2a lagavAI, vaha unhoMne bhI sunI thI, daadaa| dAdAzrI : AvAz2a lagAI, vaha bhI DhU~Dha nikAlA thaa| naTu ne lagavAI thI yh| usI ko ina saba kI par3I rahatI hai| praznakartA : zarIra aura kAna vahIM para lage rahate haiN| dAdAzrI : aisA hai yaha jagat to! phira bhI milane para use aisA nahIM lagegA ki vaha hama se alaga hai kyoMki hameM judAI hai hI nhiiN| vaha becArA laTU hai, laTU ke lie kyA abhiprAya? usake hAtha meM sattA nahIM hai, saMDAsa jAne kI bhI sattA nahIM hai| vaha jo kucha bhI kara rahA hai, vaha saba merA hI hisAba dikhA rahA hai| sahI hai na, usameM usa becAre ke pAsa koI sattA hI nahIM hai na ! vaha zuddhAtmA hI hai, usake zuddhAtmA ko hamAre namaskAra haiN| nATakIya riztA rakhA saba ke sAtha apane jo parivArajana haiM na, ve apane kaz2insa lagate haiN| unase apanA kyA badalegA? kucha ho pAegA? maiM kisI kA cacerA bhAI, Apa bhI kisI ke cacere bhAI, ve saba to isa zarIra ko lekara kuTuMba vAle haiM, cacere bhAI-bahana haiM, AtmA ko to kucha bhI lenA-denA nahIM hai na! karma

Page #415
350 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) kI jhaMjhaTa hai, TakarAva hai, jo bhI karma kie haiM isa vajaha se sAre RNAnubaMdha haiM, hisAba cukAne haiN| ataH dhIre-dhIre hama to vyavahAra meM se bAhara nikala ge| mujhe yaha acchA bhI nahIM lgtaa| mAmA ke beToM se, sabhI se kaha diyA thA ki 'Apa jitanA riztA rakhoge, maiM utanA nahIM rkhuugaa'| praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : 'maiM vyavahAra se rakhUgA, vaha bhI nATakIya rakhUgA aura Apa sacce dila se rakhoge,' sabhI riztedAroM ko aisA batA diyaa| kyoMki hamAre nATakIya sagAI (prema) ko Apa aisA mAnane lagate ho ki, 'dAdA ko mere prati bahuta premabhAva hai'| praznakartA : nATakIya prema meM bhI bhAva to pradarzita kiyA jA sakatA hai na? dAdAzrI : balki aura bhI jyAdA bhAva dikhAI detA hai| praznakartA : hA~, balki z2yAdA dikhAI detA hai| dAdAzrI : isalie jhagar3A nahIM hotA kabhI bhI jabaki sacamuca kI riztedArI meM Asakti rahatI hai isalie jhagar3A hue bagaira rahatA hI nhiiN| isameM Asakti nahIM hai bilkula bhii| lIjie apanI pustakeM aura jJAna vApasa, taba bhI hama vItarAga praznakartA : Apake kuTuMba meM se kisI ne jJAna liyA ho, to unakA anubhava kaisA rahA? dAdAzrI : vaha bhAI kaha rahA thA na ki 'dAdA, aba Apa nikAla deMge phira bhI hama kahA~ jAe~? aba hameM to yahIM para AnA pddegaa| kyoMki Apa hameM usa rAste para le gae haiM, to aba hama akele vApasa kaise lauTeM?' praznakartA : unhoMne vApasa jAne kA rAstA cuna liyA hai kyA? dAdAzrI : aura AnaMda sahita hai isalie phira icchA hI nahIM

Page #416
[9] kuTuMba-cacere bhAI-bhatIje 351 hogI na! phira bhI, eka vyakti jise maiMne apanI pustakeM dI thIM, ve vaha vApasa de gyaa| praznakartA : pustakeM vApasa de gae? / dAdAzrI : hamArA eka bhatIjA thA na, to maiMne use yaha jJAna diyaa| bahuta kaThora thA aura krodhI thaa| maiMne jJAna diyA, una dinoM usane kyA kahA? "Aja rAta ko bar3A nAga AyA mere saamne| Akara ekadama phana phailAne lgaa| taba maiMne kahA, 'maiM zuddha hU~, zuddha hU~', to vaha calA gyaa|" taba maiMne kahA, 'jo kucha bhI thA, vaha saba aba bAhara nikala gyaa'| usake bAda use pustakeM dI, sabakucha diyaa| phira sAla-do sAla taka usane yaha saba kiyA, darzana kiyA, yaha saba kiyaa| phira kisI ne use batAyA ki 'yaha saba to jaina dharma hai| use koI guru mila gae, to use mana meM aisA huA ki, 'yaha jaina dharma apane ghara meM?' patnI se pUchA ki, 'yaha jaina dharma hai?' taba usane kahA ki, 'apanA vaiSNava dharma hai aura vaha bhI phira bAlakRSNa vAlA dharma hai'| phira usane mujhase kahA, 'lIjie ye ApakI pustakeM vApasa aura yaha ApakA dharma aura ApakA jJAna bhI Apako vaaps'| usake bAda mere mana meM aisA AyA ki, 'bhAI, usakA upakAra maano'| maiMne kahA, 'usakA acchA ho| yaha bhalA AdamI hai, varnA rAste meM yA gaTara meM DAla detaa| usake bajAya yahA~ Akara sArI pustakeM usane vApasa lauTA diiN| varnA agara vaha yoM hI pheMka detA to kauna manA karatA?' to 'yaha jJAna bhI Apako vApasa diyA' khaa| kyA kahA? aisA hai yaha jagat to! __ praznakartA : aba aisA koI nahIM kahatA, daadaa| aba koI bhI aisA nahIM kahatA hogaa| dAdAzrI : aba to aisA nahIM kahate, lekina pahale aisA kaha gayA thaa| sabhI bhatIje-vatIje yahA~ A jAte haiM lekina hama kisI se kucha nahIM khte| ve to hisAba vAle haiM, to cIkaNA (atyaMta gAr3ha) kisake sAtha hotA hai? jisake sAtha z2yAdA rahate haiM vahIM para cIkaNA hotA hai na, yA dUra vAloM ke sAtha? dUra vAloM se to 'jaya zrI kRSNa, jaya zrI kRSNa',

Page #417
352 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) jAlI se 'jaya zrI kRSNa' kareM, taba bhI calatA hai| jabaki yahA~ to agara hama 'jaya zrI kRSNa' kaheM na, to kaheMge, 'haM, rAta ko to aisA kara rahe the aura abhI vApasa aisA kara rahe haiM?' vaha vApasa rAta kI phAila kholatA hai| mue DhaMka de na, ab| jaise-taise karake DhaMka-DhaMkakara nikAla na yahA~ se, lekina chor3atA nahIM hai| dAdA kI sahI pahacAna nahIM huI praznakartA : unake beTe to amarIkA meM dAdA ke ekadama parama bhakta bana gae the na? dAdAzrI : hA~, dekho na ki ye sabhI bacce kaise dAdAmaya ho gae! dekho na, varnA blaDa rilezana vAloM ko to yaha prApta hI nahIM hotaa| dUsare zaharoM meM rahane se ina blaDa rilezana vAloM kA vyavahAra bhI kitanA sudhara gayA hai! praznakartA : abhI kahate haiM ki, 'maiM dAdA ko mAnatA hU~', lekina yadi paMdraha sAla pahale pUchA hotA to kahatA 'nahIM maantaa'| muMbaI ke ve mahAtmA unheM amarIkA meM mile hoMge na, unake pAsa baiThe hue the na, to una logoM ne kahA ki 'ye dAdA bhagavAna to hamAre cAcA sasura lagate haiN| phira unhoMne samajhAyA ki, 'ye Apake cAcA sasura haiM, isalie Apa dAdA ko pahacAna nahIM paae| loga inase bahuta lAbha (prApta kara) le rahe haiN| dAdAzrI : aisA! praznakartA : dAdA! hama bhI A par3e haiN| aba hama Apako nahIM chodd'eNge| dAdAzrI : nahIM aba Apa kaise chor3oge? mahA puNyazAlI ho| praznakartA : aba ye caraNa hama nahIM chor3eMge, daadaa| dAdAzrI : ye bacce bahuta puNyazAlI haiM ki inheM dAdA kA lAbha

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[9] kuTuMba - cacere bhAI-bhatIje mila rahA hai| ghara baiThe apane yahA~ dAdA kahA~ se Ae~ge ? ghara baiThe, kisI ko bulAne bhI nahIM jAnA par3atA / yaha puNya hai na, eka taraha kA / puNya haina ? praznakartA : hA~, hai I 353 dAdAzrI : haqa, haqa hai apanA / isa janma meM to rAsa A gyaa| nahIM ? Apako lagatA hai aisA ? anaMta janmoM kA sAra A gyaa| sAmane koI pratispaMdana nahIM hone se sudhara gayA bhatIjA yAnI jinhoMne hamArA virodha kiyA na, bhatIje vagairaha, ve saba aba sudhara gae haiM kyoMki usake sAmane hamAre pratispaMdana nahIM pahu~ce na! praznakartA: dAdA, yaha z2arA z2yAdA samajhAie na ! dAdAzrI : hama use zuddha hI dekhate haiM / usakA doSa hI nahIM hai, aisA dekhate haiN| doSa hamArA hI hai, aisA dikhAI detA hai / hamArI aisI dRSTi rahatI hai isalie usa taka aise pratispaMdana pahu~cate haiM / ataH use sudhare binA koI cArA hI nahIM hai / jaba jJAna nahIM thA taba hama se mile, usameM Adhe sudhara gae aura koI bigar3a bhI gayA / loga kahate the na ki, 'Apa logoM ko luTere banA rahe haiN'| praznakartA : jJAna se pahale ? dAdAzrI : hA~, jJAna se phle| kyoMki taba aMdara eka guNa thaa| sahana kara lenA aura dayA kA guNa thA aMdara / koI bhI agara duHkha de, koI trAsa de to aMdara hI aMdara sahana kara lete the| riztedAra ho yA mitra ho| basa, itanA guNa thaa| yAnI ki koI pA~ca-dasa haz2Ara rupae le gayA to usake prati dveSa nahIM hotA thA / taba phira loga mujhase kyA kahate the ki Apane use sIdhA nahIM kiyA, use koI daMDa nahIM diyA to aba vaha luTerA bana baiThA hai / daMDa diyA hotA to aisA karane se ruka jAtA / taba maiMne unheM samajhAyA ki 'Apase bhUla ho rahI hai| maiM daMDa nahIM de

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354 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) sktaa'| to pUchate haiM, 'kyoM nahIM de sakate?' maiMne kahA, 'agara koI bhalA aura dayAlu iMsAna ho aura vaha kisI ko eka lagAe to vaha kaisI lagAegA?' praznakartA : hlkii| dAdAzrI : halke se maaregaa| taba unhoMne kahA, 'isalie ye luTere bana gae haiN| Apane isake lie inheM kucha kahA nahIM!' maiMne kahA, 've yadi luTere bana jAe~ge to unheM khuda ko hI nukasAna hai| mere jaisA milane para unakA khuda kA kAma hI joradAra calegA, taba phira unheM koI na koI unase bhI bar3A mila aaegaa| jo unake ghUTane tor3a degaa| taba to vaha rukegA hI na? ruke bagaira rahegA hI nahIM na!'

Page #420
[ 10 ] prakaTa hue guNa bacapana se [ 10.1 ] se hI asAmAnya vyaktitva zurU asAmAnya banane kA vicAra praznakartA : Apako, jaba isa jJAna kA udaya huA usase pahale pUrvAzrama meM ApakA vyaktitva, Apake vicAra aura samajha kaisI thI, vaha jAnanA hai| dAdAzrI : mujhe terahaveM sAla meM asAmAnya banane kA vicAra AyA thaa| sAmAnya arthAt sabz2I - bhAjI / asAmAnya arthAt sAmAnya logoM ko jo takalIpheM AtI haiM, vaisI takalIpheM asAmAnya logoM ko nahIM AtIM / sAmAnya manuSya kisI kI helpa nahIM kara sakatA aura asAmAnya manuSya helpa ke lie hI hotA hai, isalie use jagat eksepTa ( svIkAra ) karatA hai / 1 praznakartA : asAmAnya manuSya kI Dephinezana (paribhASA) kyA hai ? dAdAzrI : asAmAnya arthAt jo jagat ke sabhI logoM ke lie phula ho / hara eka jIva ke lie helpa phula ho / koI bhI jIva unheM chue to use bhI helpa ho jaae| helpa praznakartA : yoM to hara eka vyakti kisI ko kisI bhI prakAra se helpa karatA hI hai na ? dAdAzrI : vaha khuda nahIM karatA hai, prakRti karavAtI hai| jaba khuda svataMtra ho jAtA hai, taba asAmAnya banatA hai /

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356 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) sAmAnya iMsAna lAcArI kA anubhava karatA hai| yadi use tIna dina taka bhUkhA rakhA jAe na, to lAcArI kA anubhava karatA hai| ataH asAmAnya bananA hai| phira khuda ke sukha kA aMta hI nahIM rhegaa| yaha to khuda hI ruka gayA hai| abhI to kisI bar3e iMsAna ko dekhatA hai to laghutAgraMthi utpanna ho jAtI hai aura usase prabhAvita ho jAtA hai| are! jaba vahI sAmAnya manuSya hai, to usase kyA prabhAvita honA? nahIM mAphika AyA kapaTa, saralatA thI pahale se hI praznakartA : zuruAta se ApakA svabhAva kaisA thA? dAdAzrI : bacapana se hI merA dila jhUTha-kapaTa, luccAI, corI, lobha vagairaha ke lie mAnatA hI nahIM thaa| mujha meM to bacapana se hI mana-vacana-kAyA kI ekatA thii| jo mana meM rahatA thA, vahI vANI meM aura vartana meM A hI jAtA thaa| phira bhI eka-do bAra kapaTa ho gayA thA, lekina usase aMdara bigar3A na! yAda kiyA ki kyA khAyA thA jo aisA ho gayA! usake bAda samajha gayA ki yaha kapaTa hamArI prakRti ko mAphika nahIM AtA hai to chor3a diyA lekina mana bacAva kara rahA thA, taba patA lagAyA ki yaha kauna hai? taba patA calA ki buddhi mana ko saporTa kara rahI hai aura ahaMkAra buddhi ko saporTa kara rahA hai| mujha meM bacapana se hI saralatA, nirlepatA, niSkapaTatA thI aura caritra acchA thA aura kucha cIjeM kharAba bhI thiiN| ahaMkAra bahuta z2abaradasta thaa| "aMbAlAla bhAI' ina chaH akSaroM ke bajAya koI 'aMbAlAla' kahakara bulAe to bhArI ahaMkAra khar3A ho jAtA thaa| duzmanoM ko, pUre deza ko jalAkara rakha dU~, itanA pAvara thaa| vaha pAvara kaisA thA ki yadi jJAna nahIM huA hotA to narka meM le jaataa| bhagavAna kA bhI sahana nahIM ho sakatA thA, lekina hama meM saralatA bahuta hI thii| mA~ jI ke die hue saMskAra bahuta acche the| hama meM sabhI taraha ke roga bhare hue the| jJAna ke bAda hama nirogI ho ge|

Page #422
[10.1] zurU se hI asAmAnya vyaktitva 357 kisI ke lie bhI dakhala rUpa nahIM honA praznakartA : to dAdA, Apa zurU se hI sarala the yAnI ki kisI ko dakhala rUpI nahIM hue? dAdAzrI : kisI ke bhI lie dakhala ( rukAvaTa) rUpa baneMge to saba se pahale dakhala khuda ko hI AtI hai / arthAt itane sarala ho jAo ki kisI ko z2arA sI bhI dakhala na ho, to Apako bhI dakhala nahIM hogii| maiMne zurU se isI taraha kI prekTisa rakhI hai / maiMne to bacapana se yahI tarIkA rakhA hai kyoMki dakhala karane ke bAda hama khuda dakhala rUpI ho jAe~ge / I kapaTa va mamatA the hI nahIM praznakartA: dAdA, bacapana se hI ApameM kapaTa nahIM thA, to kapaTa aura kuTilatA eka hI haiM yA alaga-alaga haiM? dAdAzrI : isameM aisA hai ki kapaTa aura kaThoratA, ye donoM agara sAtha meM hoM, to use kuTilatA kahate haiM / aba ye sAre dUsare pakSa vAle jo mAnate haiM na, unase agara Apa apanI karane jAoge to ve yaha bAta nahIM mAneMge, kyoMki ve sarala nahIM haiM na ! yadi sarala hotA to jahA~ jAtA, vahIM para srl| apane yahA~ para Ae aura agara vaha sarala hai to bAta ko eksepTa karegA, kisI aura kI bAta hogI phira bhI / kisI aura kI bAta sahI ho to use eksepTa kara le, aisA sarala honA caahie| bacapana se yaha hamArA mukhya guNa thA, saralatA / kapaTa kA rAstA hI nahIM thA bilkula I bhI / kama, bahuta hI kama / mamatA kI aTakaNa (jo baMdhana rUpa ho jAe) bhI nahIM thI, bahuta hI kama / saMsAra meM bar3e banane kI icchA thI ! pahale thI lekina vaha saba to miTTI samAna niklaa| isameM ( dharma meM ) icchA nahIM thI, pUje jAne kI kAmanA nahIM thI / praznakartA : isameM pUje jAne kI kAmanA nahIM thI ? dAdAzrI : nahIM, z2arA sI bhI nahIM / bhIkha hI nahIM thI na, usa taraha kI /

Page #423
[10.2] mamatA nahIM vahA~ para khAtA z2arUra thA lekina ghara para nahIM le jAtA thA mujhe bacapana se hI eka aisI Adata thI ki kisI bhI cIz2a kI poTalI banAkara nahIM lAtA thaa| maiM bacapana se hI dostoM ke sAtha khetoM meM jAtA thaa| taraha-taraha ke khela khelatA thaa| hama saba pA~ca-cha: dosta, banie-pATIdAra sabhI, hamArA pUrA sarkala ghUmane jAtA thA bAga meM aura kheta meN| vahA~ para mogarI boI huI hotI thI, kisI ke kheta meM mUlI boI huI hotI thI, kisI ke kheta meM AlU boe hue hote the, sauMpha hotI thii| phira hama saba to, agara mogarI hotI thI to mogarI khAte the aura taraha-taraha kI mUlI aura zakkarakaMda vagairaha bahuta khAe haiN| phira bAkI saba bA~dhakara lAte the itanA-itanA, sabjI kI corI karake lAte the| mujhe bacapana se eka Adata bahuta acchI thI, unake kheta meM cAhe kahIM bhI le jAe~, to maiM jAtA z2arUra thA saba ke sAtha, lekina maiM ghara para kabhI bhI bA~dhakara nahIM lAtA thaa| kabhI bhI ghara para kucha nahIM laayaa| vahA~ para jitanI mogarI khAI utanI, unake kheta meM bhuTTe hote the to ekAdha khA z2arUra letA thaa| vahIM para khA letA thA, lekina maiM uThAkara ghara para nahIM lAtA thaa| hamAre dosta kahate the ki, 'pUr3A to le lo'| maiM kahatA thA ki, 'nahIM, maiM to kabhI eka baiMgana bhI na luuN| maiM na chUU~ kabhI bhii'| phira jo mUla mAlika hotA thA na, vaha thor3A-bahuta bA~dhakara ghara para de jAtA thaa| mamatA nahIM thI isalie jagat dikhAI detA thA jUThana samAna hamAre kucha dhyeya bahuta uttama the| poMka (tAz2e anAja ke hare dAne) khAne gae the bAjare kaa| apane yahA~ dUsarA aura kauna sA poMka hotA hai?

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[10.2] mamatA nahIM 359 praznakartA : jvAra kA / dAdAzrI : to jvAra ke poMka ko kUTakara, ghI DAlakara aura usakA vaha banAte the| poMkiyu yA aisA kucha kahate haiM na use ? praznakartA : poMkiyo / I dAdAzrI : to itanA baMdhavAte the, to sabhI dosta lekara Ate the ve saba lAlacI loga the ! maiM to jitanA vahA~ para khAtA thA, basa utanA hI / loga to phira ghara para bhI le jAte the / una khetoM meM se itanI - itanI sabz2I paika karavAte the ki 'lo, le jaao'| mujhase kahate the ki, 'hamAre kheta meM kAjU ke bahuta per3a hai, to kAjU lene clo'| to sabhI mitra ekaeka pAva kI thailiyA~ bA~dhakara lAte the / maiM z2arA sA bhI nahIM lAtA thA / maiM vahA~ jitanA khA letA thA, basa utanA hI / isa saMsAra kI jUThana ko maiM kahA~ chUU~? phira bhale vaha kAjU ho yA sonA, isa taraha jUThana bA~dha nahIM lAtA thaa| hamameM nAma mAtra ko bhI mamatA nahIM thI / zurU se hI aparigrahI, lAlaca yA lobha nahIM maiM bacapana se hI lAlacI nahIM thA / itanA sA bhI lAlaca nahIM, kabhI bhI nhiiN| Apa deM, yahIM se sAtha meM deM taba bhI hamAre kAma kA nhiiN| maiM kauna! maiM aisA saba nahIM le sakatA ? poMka khAne ko bulAte haiM to poMka khAkara cale jAnA hai lekina parigraha nahIM / aMdara se acchA hI nahIM lagatA thaa| koI bhI cIz2a ghara para nahIM lAte the / bilkula bhI lobha nahIM thA, janma se hI lobha nahIM / bhale hI ahaMkAra thaa| yAnI ki hama kabhI bhI poTalI nahIM bA~dhate the| puNya itanA thA ki Aja taka poTalI nahIM bA~dhI / ye sAre pahale ke saMskAra the| zurU se hI mamatA vAlA svabhAva nahIM thA / Apa agara koI cIz2a do to maiM yahIM para dUsaroM ko dekara ghara calA jAtA hU~ / ghara para kabhI bhI nahIM le jAtA / bA ne bhI eka bAra mujhase kahA thA ki, 'bhAI, z2arA cakhane lAyaka morI bhI nahIM lAyA ?' maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, vApasa vaha jhaMjhaTa kahA~ kareM ? hama vahA~ para khAne jAte haiM, lene nahIM jAte' / kyA kahA ?

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360 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA : khAne jAte haiM, lene nhiiN| dAdAzrI : to saMgraha karane kI Adata hI nahIM thI na! vaha jhaMjhaTa hI nahIM thI na ! lobha nAmaka guNa zurU se hI nahIM thA, bilkula bhI! bahuta hI ucca prAkRtika guNa dekhane ko milate the| mamatA to dikhAI hI nahIM detI thii| Apa sAtha meM cAhe kitanA bhI do lekina kaha dete the, 'nahIM bhAI, maiM yaha bA~dhakara sAtha meM nahIM le jAU~gA, yahA~ para khA lU~gA z2arA saa'| praznakartA : dAdA, ApakA itanA zuddha thA isalie rileTiva meM yaha sArI parasattA chUTa gii| rileTiva meM jo itanI spaSTatA rahatI thI Apako, to vaha inhIM guNoM ke kAraNa? dAdAzrI : aMdara guNa to haiM na, unhIM ke AdhAra pr| praznakartA : lAlaca nahIM thA isalie sApha-sApha dikhAI detA thaa|

Page #426
[10.3] oblAijiMga necara Thage jAte the, phira bhI auroM kA kAma karatA thA yaha to maiM apane bacapana ke jo guNa the unake bAre meM maiM batAtA huuN| oblAijiMga necr| hA~, mujhe oblAija karanA bahuta acchA lagatA thaa| maiM nau sAla kA thA taba ghara se mujhe sabjI lene bhejate the ki, 'jA, sabjI lekara aa'| to maiM mArkeTa meM sabjI lene jAtA thA, jo ki cAra phalA~ga dUra thaa| hamArA makAna muhalle meM saba se AkhirI thA to ghara se sabjI lene nikalate vakta rAste meM par3osiyoM se pUchatA-pUchatA jAtA thA ki, 'maiM sabjI lene jA rahA hU~, to Apake lie sabjI lAnI hai koI? Apake lie lAnI ho to maiM le aauuN'| aisA saba se pUchatA thaa| ___ to mujhe aisA hotA thA ki agara sirpha apanA lekara AU~ to TAima bekAra jaaegaa| isake bajAya AsapAsa vAloM se saba se pUchakara unake lie bhI sabjI vagairaha le AtA thaa| paise-vaise to apane pAsa hote the to de dete the, varnA ve dete the| sabhI kA hisAba rakhatA thaa| usameM se bilkula bhI paisA nahIM letA thaa| balki paisA DAlatA thA, tAki mujha para Aropa na lge| unake mana meM zaMkA na ho isalie maiM nukasAna uThAtA thaa| yoM maiM bhalA iMsAna thA na, isalie nukasAna uThAtA thaa| nukasAna uThAtA thA yAnI ki ghara ke paise DAlakara kAma kara detA thaa| maiMne pUrI jiMdagI auroM ke lie hI bitAI hai| mere khuda ke lie kabhI bhI nahIM bitaaii| mujhe ghara se eka kAma karane ko kahA jAtA ki posTakArDa DAlakara A jA, to sabhI AsapAsa vAloM se pUcha letA thA ki 'bhAI, maiM posTa oNphisa jA rahA hU~, Apako koI ciTThI DAlanI hai?'

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362 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga - 1) kisI ko kaise khuza karU~, usI meM AnaMda jo kucha bhI kAma ho, yA kucha bhI lAnA ho to le AtA thaa| kyoMki eka hI phere meM jitane kAma ho sakeM, utanA kisI aura kA pherA bacegA na ! mere eka phere meM unake lie bhI pherA laga jAtA thaa| eka hI phere meM cAra phere ke kAma ho jAte the / usake lie pUchate-pUchate jAe~ to kyA harja hai? koI kahatA ki, 'mujhe tujha para vizvAsa nahIM hai'| taba kahate the, 'bhAI, Apake paira chUte haiN'| lekina jise vizvAsa thA usakA to le jAte the| yAnI zurU se hI oblAijiMga necara ! aMdara mujhe isameM AnaMda AtA thA / mujhe yaha acchA lagatA thA ki kaise kisI ko khuza karU~, oblAija kruuN| oblAijiMga necara biginsa eTa homa (paropakAra kI zuruAta ghara se karanI cAhie / ) sirpha bAhara oblAija karane kA artha hI nahIM hai / hameM ghara se hI zuruAta karanI caahie| par3osa meM kisI ko oblAija nahIM karate aura bAhara oblAija karate haiN| merA kyA jAtA thA isameM ? ve saba khuza ho jAte the ki, 'yaha lar3akA kitanA samajhadAra hai ! ' lete hue bhI nukasAna uThAyA aura DAle khuda ke paise praznakartA : yAnI ki dUsaroM ke AnaMda meM hI ApakA AnaMda thA ? dAdAzrI : jaba maiM teraha se aThAraha sAla kA thA taba bhAdaraNa gA~va se bar3audA jAtA thA kitAba vagairaha lene, taba hamAre bar3e bhAI yahIM para rahate the| maiM choTA thA, phira bhI jaba bar3audA AtA thA taba AsapAsa vAle kahate the ki, 'hamAre lie gaMjI lekara AnA, hamAre lie yaha lAnA, hamAre lie do caDDiyA~ lekara AnA' / koI kahatA thA, 'hamAre lie baMDI lekara AnA, hamAre lie itanA le AnA' / koI kahatA, 'mere lie TopI le AnA, isa naMbara kI ' / mitratA thI isalie kahate the na sabhI ? to maiM (unakI z2arUrata pUchatA bhI thA ) le bhI jAtA thA, aura phira lAtA bhI thaa|

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[10.3] oblAijiMga necara 363 to eka bAra hamAre bhAdaraNa gA~va vAloM ne baMDI ma~gavAI thI, to bar3audA se baMDI lI thii| maiM to paMdraha Ane meM lAyA thaa| maiM baMDI kharIdane meM eka AnA z2yAdA dekara ThagA gyaa| usake bAda eka vyakti ne mujhase kahA ki, 'yahA~ usa dukAna para caudaha Ane meM milatI hai| aba usase vApasa to nahIM mA~ga sakatA thA isalie phira aisA kahA ki 'caudaha Ane luuNgaa'| varnA phira usake mana meM aisA hotA ki, 'eka AnA hamane rakha liyaa'| hama to bhole iMsAna, to nukasAna uThA lete the aura vaha vyakti aisA samajhatA thA ki hamane ise eka AnA z2yAdA de diyaa| to una dinoM bhI maiM apanA eka AnA DAla detA thaa| dukAna vAloM ko duHkha na ho isalie bhAva-tAva nahIM karate phira merA svabhAva kaisA thA ki jisa Thele ke sAmane khar3e rahakara pUchA to usI se letA thaa| eka bAra pUchane para vaha jo bhI bhAva batAtA, utane meM hI maiM le AtA thaa| agara vaha khaTapaTiyA hotA to koI harja nahIM thA, hameM khaTapaTa nahIM aatii| 'tU aisA kara, do Ane kama kara,' aisA mujhe nahIM AtA thaa| jitanA AtA thA utanA hI karate na! to vaha sArI kica-kica karanA mujhe acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| zurU se aisA hI thaa| yaha saba acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| phira kama-z2yAdA ho to nibhA letA thaa| merA svabhAva kaisA thA ki use duHkha na ho isalie usI ke vahA~ se le letA thaa| maiM apanA svabhAva jAnatA thaa| loga auroM se bhI ma~gavAte the, ve sAta jagaha para pUcha-pUchakara, sabhI kA apamAna karake lAte the| ataH maiM samajha jAtA thA ki ye loga mere mukAbale do Ane kama meM lAte haiM aura mere pAsa ma~gavAyA hai to mere do Ane z2yAdA kharca hoNge| jo kucha bhI le jAtA thA usameM se bAraha Ane ke gaMjI aura phraoNka le AtA aura usake lie do Ane kama letA thaa| maiM socatA thA, 'agara hama Thele vAle se Thage gae to hama para Aropa lgegaa| dUsarI kisI jagaha para dasa Ane kA mila rahA ho, aura hamane do Ane z2yAdA de die lekina ma~gavAne vAle ko vahama hogA ki, 'yaha do Ane

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364 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) khA gayA hogaa| usake bajAya to hama do Ane kama leNge'| aisA nahIM rakhanA hai ki aMdara use zaMkA ho| yAnI pahale se hI do Ane kama letA thaa| praznakartA : jitane kA Apane kharIdA ho usase kama? dAdAzrI : hA~, bAraha Ane die hoM to use aisA kahate the ki 'dasa Ane die haiN| yAnI ki maiM hara eka cIz2a meM do-tIna Ane kama hI letA thaa| ma~gavAne vAle ko sastA batAtA thA, tAki vaha kahe ki, 'sastA lAyA!' kaI bAra to do Ane usake aura eka AnA apane pAsa se dekara bhI cIz2a kharIda letA thaa| aise karake ma~gavAne vAle ko kImata tIna Ane kama batAtA thaa| kamizana kA Aropa na lage isalie apane paise bharatA thA praznakartA : jJAna se pahale bhI aisA rahanA, vaha eka alaukika cIz2a hai na! dAdAzrI : bacapana se hI aisA kiyA hai| tAki koI aisA na kaha de ki mere paisoM meM se kamizana le gayA! maiM to dasa Ane meM lAtA thA aura yaha bAraha Ane de AyA, isane do Ane le lie| ye loga mujha para kamizana kA Aropa lagAe~ge, aisA socakara tIna Ane kama batAtA thaa| tIna Ane kama kara detA thA, do Ane nhiiN| hA~, varnA ve aisA samajhate ki isane kamizana le liyaa| le! are, kamizana lenA maiMne sIkhA hI nahIM kbhii| phira mere sAtha vAle loga kahate the ki, 'kaise iMsAna ho, aisA kahIM hotA hai ? Apane die haiM bAraha Ane, to bAraha Ane lene meM kyA harja thA?' maiMne kahA, 'nahIM bhAI, kyoMki agara kisI aura jagaha para maiM ThagA gayA hoU~ to?' hama to bhale iMsAna haiM ! mana meM aisA samajhatA thA ki maiM to bholA hU~, zAyada usa dukAnadAra ne eka-do Ane z2yAdA le lie hoM to| eka to mujhe lenA nahIM AtA, to isakA kyA artha

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[10.3] oblAijiMga necara 365 apanI tArIpha pasaMda thI aura hetu yaha thA ki 'use duHkha na ho' inakI barAbarI kaisI kI jAe, isa duniyA kI? aura zAyada agara do Ane DAla bhI die to kyA nukasAna huA? ve tArIpha to kareMge na, 'ye to bahuta kama bhAva meM le Ae, bahuta acchA laae'| praznakartA : unakI tArIpha se hameM kyA milA? dAdAzrI : vaha to, jaba ve tArIpha karate the taba patA calatA thaa| tArIpha sunate samaya vaha jo cAya (mAna) milatI thI na, usa cAya kI kImata isa cAya se z2yAdA thii| mujhe vaha tArIpha bahuta acchI lagatI thI, isalie maiM paise DAlatA thaa| merA hetu to yahI thA ki use duHkha na ho| lekina kisI bhI taraha khuda ke paise DAlakara de detA thaa| aisI choTI-choTI AdateM thIM saarii| ina bAtoM kI z2arUrata hI nahIM hai na! lekina yaha bhI helpiMga hai| ye sAre kadama mere lie helpiMga ho ge| to apane paise DAlakara de dete the to koI klema nahIM rahA na! no klema! ATha Ane ke lie zaMkA karake prema tor3a deM, aise loga pahale se hI aise sAvadhAnI rakhatA thA, kyoMki agara koI Aropa lagA detA to vaha mujhe acchA nahIM lgtaa| agara usake mana meM zaMkA ho jAtI to vaha mujhe acchA nahIM lgtaa| maiM to, do Ane kI cAya pIne ke bajAya ve do Ane isameM DAla detA thaa| aisA karatA thA tAki usake mana meM zaMkA na ho| bekAra hI zaMkA ho jAtI una becAroM ko! zaMkA huI to prema TUTa jAegA na! agara zaMkA ho to prema kahA~ rahA? mUla rUpa se to behisAba zaMkAe~ haiM aura phira unameM maiM eka aura jor3a duuN| kitanI zaMkAe~ hotI haiM iMsAna ko? praznakartA : bahuta sii|

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jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) dAdAzrI : nirI zaMkA meM hI hai / zaMkA meM se bAhara hI nahIM nikalate log| kaI bAra to agara maiMne z2yAdA paise nahIM die hoM aura vaha cIz2a eka rupae kI milatI ho, aura ma~gavAne vAlA bhI jAnatA thA, to mujhase bhAdaraNa se ma~gavAyA ki, 'bar3audA jA rahe ho to itanA le aanaa'| to usameM maiM eka AnA apane ghara se DAlatA thA aura kaha detA thA ki vaha cIz2a maiM paMdraha Ane meM lAyA hU~, tAki usake mana meM zaMkA na ho / varnA zAyada soce ki 'mere paise to nahIM bigAr3e na ! ' usameM se cAya-nAztA to nahIM kiyA na ?' use zaMkA na ho ki mere paisoM meM se cAya-nAztA kara liyaa| sirpha eka hI AnA, z2yAdA nahIM / hameM thor3e hI pacAsa Ane DAlane the? isa taraha khuda kA eka AnA DAlakara vaha cIz2a le jAtA thaa| praznakartA: dAdA, Apa itanA eDajasTamenTa kyoM lete the ? 366 dAdAzrI : ina jIvoM kA to koI ThikAnA nahIM hai! ATha Ane ke lie zaMkA kara leM, bAraha sAla kA paricaya ho, phira bhI ! kaise haiM ? praznakartA : bAraha sAla kA paricaya ho, phira bhI ATha Ane ke lie zaMkA karate haiM / dAdAzrI : ve ATha Ane ke lie zaMkA kareM, usake bajAya hama pahale hI sApha raheM na / praznakartA : lekina hama bila de sakate haiM na use / dAdAzrI : nahIM-nahIM, una dinoM bila kauna rakhatA thA? hama to Thele para se mAla lete the, bila kauna rakhatA thA una dinoM ? aura ve ekaeka Ane kA hisAba ginate haiM / eka Ane ke phAyade ke lie bar3audA se ma~gavAte the / aba mere jaisA svabhAva vAlA, maiM to ThagA jAtA thA ! isalie cAra-chaH Ane, ATha Ane kama lekara cIjeM detA thA / taba ve kahate the, 'yaha to bahuta sastI milii'| maiMne kahA, 'hA~, bahuta sastI milii'| do rupae ke lie nahIM banatA hamArA mana bhikhArI jaba thAna lene jAtA taba bhI mujhase to hara eka dukAnadAra do-do

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[10.3] oblAijiMga necara 367 rupae jyAdA le letA thaa| 'aMbAlAla bhAI Ae, aMbAlAla bhAI Ae' kahate the aura maiM z2yAdA de bhI detA thaa| maiM kahatA thA ki, 'isakI dAnata hI do rupae jyAdA lene kI hai, aura Upara se yaha vyakti agara paise lekara khuza ho rahA hai to kyA harja hai? usakA mana bhikhArI hai, merA mana to do rupae ke lie bhikhArI nahIM banA n'| aisA svabhAva thA unakA to, badalA nhiiN| aisA svabhAva ho gayA thaa| mujhe vaisA saba karanA nahIM AtA thaa| vesTa kA kiyA besTa upayoga, logoM ke lie praznakartA : dAdA, aura kisa prakAra se Apa logoM ko madada karate the? dAdAzrI : hamAre bhAdaraNa ke makAna ke sAmane hamArA bAr3A thaa| jaise Apake yahA~ para kampAunDa hai na, vaisA hamAre yahA~ usase lagabhaga AdhA, utanA bar3A kampAunDa thaa| usakA koI upayoga nahIM karatA thA isalie phira maiM usameM sabjI-bhAjI ugAtA thA, choTA sA thA phira bhii| loga usa jagaha para kyA karate the? usa jagaha kA upayoga nahIM hotA thA, isalie gA~va meM to loga bhaiMsa kA gobara aura khAda vagairaha saba vahA~ para DAla dete the| taba phira maiMne kahA ki, 'mujhe isa jagaha kA upayoga karanA hai'| isalie una logoM ne vahA~ se saba uThA liyA aura phira maiM vahA~ laukI vagairaha ugAne lgaa| aisA saba mujhe acchA lagatA thaa| basa, skUla meM hI kucha (karanA) nahIM AtA thaa| eka bIja meM se kitanI hI beleM uga nikalatI thIM! merA hAtha aisA thA ki bahuta bar3I-bar3I laukiyA~ ugatI thiiN| to itanI bar3I-bar3I laukiyA~ ugane lgiiN| hara eka patte para laukI ugatI thI aura bhuTTe to itane bar3ebar3e ugate the| pahale khAda-pAnI bahuta pracura mAtrA meM the aura sabhI saMyoga mila jAne para acche ugate the| usake bAda maiM tor3akara sabhI logoM ko de bhI AtA thaa| isa taraha se detA thA ki unake kAma aae| logoM ko muphta kI cIz2a acchI lagatI hai na!

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[10.4] jahA~ mAra khAte the vahA~ turaMta chor3a dete the rUThe the bacapana meM eka bAra praznakartA : Apane kahA na ki ahaMkAra bahuta bhArI thA, to agara kabhI ApakI manamAnI nahIM hotI thI to rUTha jAte the kyA? dAdAzrI : zurU se hI hamameM Ar3AI kama thii| rUThane kI Adata hI nahIM thI, bacapana se hI kama thii| mere ghara ke saMskAra hI aise the isalie saralatA thI lekina bacapana meM eka-do bAra rUThakara dekhA thA, pA~ca-sAta sAla kI umra meN| taba hamAre riztedAroM ke bacce Ae the| taba bA ne kucha diyA thA, mujhe vaha kama lgaa| khAne kI koI acchI cIz2a hogI, to mujhe kama milI mere hisAba se| taba phira maiMne kahA, 'mujhe nahIM khAnA hai'| taba rUTha gayA thaa| agara koI mujhe koI cIz2a dene kA kahatA, aura mujhe vaha kama lagatI to maiM rUTha jAtA thaa| vaha jo cIz2a thI, vaha to vahIM para rahI, aura ve bacce to khAkara cale ge| merI cIz2a vahIM para raha gii| phira use bhI koI khA gyaa| rAta ko maiM DhU~Dhane gayA to milI nhiiN| maiMne kahA, 'vaha kahA~ hai?' taba kahA, 'vaha to khatma ho gaI bhaaii'| taba maiMne kahA, 'hAya! rUThane se to hameM hI nukasAna huaa'| do roTI khAnI hotI thI aura nakhare itane, thor3A sA khAnA hotA thA aura nakhare bhut| aisA nukasAna kA dhaMdhA nahIM calegA, hameM nahIM pusaaegaa| isalie phira jo bhI dete the, maiM vaha le letA thaa| praznakartA : usake bAda se dAdA, jo bhI milatA thA vaha le lete the? jo bhI dete the vaha le lete the Apa?

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[10.4] jahA~ mAra khAte the vahA~ turaMta chor3a dete the 369 dAdAzrI : agara ThIka lage to le lete the aura nahIM lage to rahane dete the| rUThanA-karanA nhiiN| maiMne yaha hisAba nikAla liyA thA ki isameM pUrA nukasAna hI hai, yaha vyApAra hI nukasAna kA hai isalie mujhe phira kabhI nahIM rUThanA hai| bhAbhI ko dUdha z2yAdA diyA, taba vApasa rUTha gae the phira bhI usake bAda maiM eka bAra aura rUTha gayA thA, dasa eka sAla kI umra meN| praznakartA : divAlI bA ke sAtha dUdha ko lekara aisA huA thA na ! bA ke sAtha dUdha kI jhaMjhaTa huI thI na ki mujhe eka pAva, aura unheM bhI eka pAva, eka samAna nahIM honA caahie| dAdAzrI : hA~, to bhAbhI gyAraha sAla kI thIM aura maiM dasa sAla kA thaa| phira jaba ve AIM to mujhe parezAnI ho gii| mere hisse ke dUdha meM se mujhe kama milane lagA, usake hisse hone lage na! una dinoM to eka paise meM AdhA sera dudha AtA thA, do paisoM meM ratala, to eka paise kA maiM pItA thA aura eka paise kA ve| bhAbhI ko aura mujhe, donoM ko eka jitanA hI dUdha milatA thA, AdhA ser| eka bAra hama zAma ko khAnA khAne baiThe taba merI bA ne bhAbhI ko jyAdA dUdha diyA aura mujhe km| usake bAda mujhe aMdara se bA para dveSa huA ki 'bA, Apa aisA karatI ho?' taba maiMne to jhagar3A kiyaa| maiMne bA se kahA, 'mujhe kyoM kama de rahI ho? mujhe aisA nahIM clegaa| maiM to apane lie dUdha alaga se laauuNgaa'| ataH dUsarI jagaha se bhaiMsa kA dUdha le AtA thaa| mola lAtA thaa| unake lie koI dUsarA dUdha vAlA de jAtA thA aura maiM apanA khuda le AtA thaa| maiM apane lie AdhI sera kI loTI jitanA le AtA thaa| phira bhI merI bA haiM na, ve hamArI bhAbhI ko mujhase z2yAdA detI thiiN| unakI kaTorI meM dekhatA thA to usameM z2yAdA hotA thA, usase mujhe aMdara bahuta jalana hotI thii| phira maiMne kahA, 'aba maiM apane lie jyAdA dUdha laauuNgaa'| taba

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jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) bA ne kahA, 'aisA kyoM kara rahA hai ? ( donoM ko) samAna mAtrA meM hI dUdha pInA caahie'| taba maiMne kahA, 'bA, aisA kyoM? maiM ApakA beTA hU~ aura yaha bhuu| bahU to kala dUsarI bhI lA sakate haiM lekina dUsarA beTA kahA~ se AegA? aisA kyoM karatI ho? bahU to agara mara jAegI to dUsarI le aaeNge'| merI aisI mAnyatA thI, hamAre kSatriya logoM kI / 'kyA mujhe vApasa lA sakate ho ?' aisA kahatA thA / ye to bahU banakara AI haiM aura Apa donoM ko samAna mAtrA meM dete ho lekina mujhe thor3A z2yAdA milanA caahie| usakI mA~ yahA~ para nahIM hai, isalie use khuza rakhanA par3egA bA se maiM kyA kahatA thA ? 'bA, Apa mujhe aura bhAbhI ko eka samAna mAnate ho? bhAbhI ko AdhA sera dUdha, to mujhe bhI AdhA sera dUdha dete ho? unheM kama do' / mujhe apanA AdhA sera rahane denA thA, mujhe z2yAdA nahIM cAhie thA lekina bhAbhI kA kama karo, Der3ha pAva yA eka pAva karo / 370 taba mujhase kahA, 'maiM, terI mA~ to yahIM para hU~ jabaki usakI mA~ to yahA~ para nahIM hai isalie use mA~ ke binA sUnA lagatA hai / mA~ ke binA vaha yahA~ raha rahI hai na, isalie use khuza rakhanA par3egA / parAe ghara kI lar3akI apane yahA~ AI hai to use aura z2yAdA saMbhAlanA pdd'egaa| varnA use burA lagegA becArI ko, use duHkha hogA isalie eka samAna hI denA pdd'egaa'| apane ghara para hI maiMne sAsa ko dekhA hai / sAsa kA vyavahAra kaisA hotA hai vaha maiMne apane ghara meM hI dekhA / maiMne dekhA ki sAsa aisI honI cAhie, jo beTe se z2yAdA bahU ko mAne! rUThA huA iMsAna DhU~DhatA hai rispaoNnsa yaha bAta samajhane jaisI hai lekina dekho na, bacapana meM samajha nahIM paayaa| bA mujhe samajhAte rahate the, paibaMda lagAte rahate the phira bhI mujhe samajha meM nahIM AtA thaa| taba maiMne Ar3AI kI, rUThA, maiMne dUdha nahIM piiyaa| maiMne kahA, 'nahIM pInA hai mujhe' /

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[10.4] jahA~ mAra khAte the vahA~ turaMta chor3a dete the 371 phira unhoMne koI bhI rispaoNnsa nahIM diyA ThIka se, jaisA honA cAhie vaisA koI rispaoNnsa nahIM milaa| rUThA huA iMsAna rispaoNnsa DhU~DhatA hai lekina kabhI-kabhI use koI pUchane vAlA nahIM bhI miltaa| usake bAda kisI ne pUchA nahIM aura zAma ho gii| hA~, maiM rUTha gayA thA isalie mujhe nahIM bulaayaa| taba maiMne kahA, 'aba to koI manAne bhI nahIM A rhaa| phira maiM apane Apa hI jAkara baiTha gyaa| maiMne kahA, 'mujhe to dUdha aura roTI khAnI hai, bhUkha lagI hai| taba unhoMne de diyaa| ve to taiyAra hI thIM na! jo rUThatA hai usakA calA jAtA hai| unake pAsa to saba taiyAra hI thA, balki jitanI dera rUThe rahate haiM utanI dera taka nahIM milatA phira vApasa mila jAtA hai| unhoMne eka bAra rispaoNnsa nahIM diyA to maiMne le liyaa| hisAba meM patA calA, hai mAtra nukasAna usake bAda maiMne usa dina kyA-kyA khoyA usakA hisAba lgaayaa| usa dina subaha kA dUdha to calA gayA aura hama raha ge| balki dopahara kA bhI gyaa| balki jo dopahara kA lAbha thA vaha bhI khoyA aura zAma ko jahA~ the vApasa vahIM ke vhiiN| mAne, taba taka meM to balki nukasAna ho gyaa| vaha maiMne DhU~Dha nikaalaa| taba phira jaba bhI rUThatA thA taba khAne kI vaha cIz2a to calI jAtI thI lekina phira usakA asara bhI calA jAtA thaa| usake bAda maiM jA~ca karatA thA ki, 'mujhe kyA milA?' to kucha bhI nahIM milA hotA thaa| praznakartA : nukasAna huaa| dAdAzrI : nukasAna huA blki| praznakartA : kyA nukasAna huA Apako? dAdAzrI : nukasAna to hameM hI huA na ! 'dUdha kA tiraskAra karake calA gayA', aisA kahate haiN| kyA kahate haiM ? praznakartA : tiraskAra karake calA gyaa|

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jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) dAdAzrI : phira merI bhAbhI se kahA, 'le, aba kyA kareMge ? tU pI jaa'| to balki use z2yAdA pilA diyA / mujhe bhAbhI kA aura merA eka samAna dUdha nahIM cAhie thA, mujhe khuda ko z2yAdA cAhie thA, aura balki use z2yAdA pilA diyA / aisA pAgalapana nahIM honA caahie| usa dina to merA dUdha gyaa| maiMne socA, 'agale dina subaha Dabala milegA lekina utanA hI milaa| yaha kyA huA ?' to nukasAna huA / isalie aba mujhe phira se aisA kAma hI nahIM karanA hai jisameM nukasAna ho / rUThanA hI nahIM hai na! dUdha pIne ke bAda rUThanA hai / ataH bacapana se hI maiM samajha gayA ki rUThanA arthAt nukasAna kA dhaMdhA / isalie aba nukasAna kA dhaMdhA baMda kara diyA, Ar3A nahIM honA hai / 372 lagA ki nukasAna hai to rUThanA huA baMda praznakartA : rUThanA Ar3AI kahalAtI hai ? dAdAzrI : aura kyA, Ar3AI hI kahalAegI na! hama haTha kareM ki 'merA dUdha itanA kama kyoM ?' are, chor3a na ! pI le na! agalI bAra de deNge| yAnI ki eka bAra Ar3A huA, to usake bAda nukasAna huA / ataH maiMne socA ki 'aba phira se Ar3AI nahIM karanI hai ' / varnA saba kaheMge ki, 'rahane do ise !' usake bAda aisA hI hogA na ! isalie phira tabhI se rUThanA baMda kara diyaa| aba kisI bhI bAta ko lekara rUThanA nahIM hai| usake bAda kabhI rUThe hI nahIM kisI se| agara ThIka nahIM lage taba bhI nahIM rUThate the| phira se bulAte ki calo khAnA khAne, to maiM turaMta calA jaataa| phira se pachatAvA na karanA par3e, aisA sisTama praznakartA : Apane kahA na ki rUThe isalie hamArA dUdha gayA, to vaha kisa umra meM ? dAdAzrI : vaha thA nau-dasa sAla kI umra meM I praznakartA : lekina dAdA, nau-dasa sAla kI umra meM to hamane bhI kaI bAra isa taraha dUdha khoyA thA / hama bhI bhUkhe rahe the, isalie aisA to

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[10.4] jahA~ mAra khAte the vahA~ turaMta chor3a dete the 373 lagatA thA ki yaha nukasAna huA, lekina phira bhI hamane rUThanA jArI rakhA aura Apane kaise baMda kara diyA? dAdAzrI : maiMne aisA sisTama rakhA thA ki agara eka bAra bhI pachatAvA karanA par3A to, phira dobArA na karanA pdd'e| jisa bAta kA pachatAvA kiyA, usake lie phira se pachatAvA karanA par3e, aisA nahIM karanA hai| praznakartA : dAdA, yahA~ to vyavahAra meM ripITeDlI karate hI rahate haiN| dAdAzrI : lekina aba kyA ho sakatA hai ? mujhe aisA saba acchA nahIM lagatA thA ki binA samajhe kadama bar3hAe~ aura phira pachatAe~ / bAra-bAra pachatAvA karanA bhI koI tarIkA hai kyA? rUThane ke bAbajUda bhI maiMne khuda ne nApa liyA ki nukasAna kise huA? vaha mujhe patA cala gyaa| ataH aisA dabAva DAlane kA sisTama hI chor3a do, trAgA (apanI manamAnI karavAne ke lie kiyA jAne vAlA nATaka) karane kaa| rUThanA yAnI trAgA krnaa| rUThe hue iMsAna ke lie nahIM khar3I rahatI duniyA praznakartA : isa nukasAna ko to turaMta pahacAna liyA, yaha to baniyA buddhi huI na? dAdAzrI : yaha aisA kucha nahIM hai| baniyA buddhi arthAt vicArazIla buddhi, samajhadAra buddhi kahalAtI hai| nukasAna ko pahacAnane para phira dobArA nukasAna nahIM uThAe~ge na! to jo vAstava meM buddhizAlI hai vaha kisI se nahIM ruutthtaa| rUThane se nukasAna hotA hai| Apa eka dina rUThakara rAta ko uThApaTaka karake agara nahIM khAoge to phira saba kyA kareMge? kyA saba jAgate raheMge? samaya hone para sabhI so jaaeNge| taba phira nukasAna to ApakA hI hogA n| rUThane se to tujhe jo AnaMda A rahA hogA na, vaha bhI calA jaaegaa| phira kyA rUThane vAle aura manAne vAle? phira manAegA bhI kauna bhalA? ye to, jaba khAne kA samaya hotA hai taba kahate haiM, 'cAcA, calo

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374 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) khAnA khAne, khAnA khAne calie na! vahA~ para khAnA taiyAra hai aura saba iMtaz2Ara kara rahe haiN'| taba agara ve kaheM ki, 'nahIM, abhI khAnA khAne nahIM aauuNgaa| jaao'| taba ve loga eka-do bAra vinatI kareMge, aura phira? phira yadi Tebala para khAnA laga jAe to zurU hI kara deMge na! duniyA to calatI hI rhegii| duniyA z2arA dera ke lie bhI ThaharatI hai kyA? agara Apa rUTha jAo to kyA gAr3I rUThe hue ko manAne AegI? bAta ko samajhane kI z2arUrata hai| sAhaba, kyA bArAta vAle khar3e raheMge? praznakartA : nahIM, koI bhI khar3A nahIM rhtaa| dAdAzrI : agara lar3ake kI zAdI karavAne jA rahe ho, aura Apa rUTha jAo, to kyA ve Apake lie do dina taka baiThe raheMge? nahIM! aisI hai yaha duniyA! ___ kula milAkara yaha vyApAra hai nukasAna kA bacapana meM eka-do bAra rUThakara dekhA, lekina usase nukasAna hI huaa| tabhI se maiMne rUThanA chor3a diyaa| ___ maiMne yaha sAra nikAlakara dekha liyA ki rUThane meM bilkula nukasAna hai, yaha vyApAra hI bilkula galata hai| isalie phira aisA taya hI kara liyA kI kabhI bhI nahIM rUThanA hai| koI hameM cAhe kucha bhI kare lekina rUThanA nahIM hai kyoMki yaha bahuta hI nukasAnadAyaka cIz2a hai| bahuta hI bar3A nukasAna hai yaha to| aba to, yadi Apa mujhe gAliyA~ do phira bhI maiM Apako vinaya se bulaauuNgaa| Apa gAliyA~ do aura maiM vinaya se bulAU~gA, hama donoM kA dharma aisA hai kyoMki maiM jAnatA hU~ ki ApameM to kamaz2orI hai hI aura yadi mujha meM bhI kamajorI hogI to phira hama kahA~ ke jJAnI? gAliyoM ke sAmane yadi maiM bhI gAliyA~ dU~ aura rUTha jAU~ to jJAnI kaisA? rUThanA nahIM cAhie, eksepTa karanA caahie|

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[10.5] jAnA, jagat hai polampola dekhA rone-dhone kA nATaka praznakartA : Apa duniyA ko bahuta hI oNbjarva (nirIkSaNa) karate the, to kyA oNbjarva karate the? dAdAzrI : maiM jaba choTA thA dasa-bAraha sAla kA, taba hamAre kuTuMba meM eka bhAI kI mRtyu ho gaI taba vahA~ para mere cAcA ke beTe vagairaha bhI or3hakara baiThe hue the aura ye loga to cillA-cillAkara ro rahe the| unake saba bhAI bhI cillA-cillAkara ro rahe the, to ve kisa taraha se cillA rahe the| sira para yahA~ taka or3hA huA thaa| cU~ghaTa DAlA huA thaa| yahA~ taka khIMcA huA tAki ceharA na dikhAI de, A~kheM na dikhAI deN| aMdara kyA kara rahe haiM, ve cillAkara ro rahe haiM yA reDiyo bajA rahe haiM, hameM patA hI na cle| are! isa taraha eka bhAI cillAkara ro rahe the, 'o mere bhAI re' karake zora macA rahe the, to kauna jAne kyA ilekTrisiTI, to merI A~khoM se pAnI nikalane lgaa| yoM hI Age kapar3e se Dhake binaa| aisI AvAz2a nikaalii| isa taraha bolA ki viSAdarasa utpanna ho jaae| merI A~khoM meM pAnI A gyaa| taba phira mujhe aisA lagA ki 'abhI maiM itanA royA to ye kitanA ro rahe hoMge?' phira ve bhAI jo cillAkara ro rahe the, unhoMne ceharA kholA to kucha bhI nahIM thA aMdara! maiMne kahA, 'ye kitanA dagA de rahe haiM!' dagA pakar3A! maiMne eka bujurga cAcA se pUchA ki, 'Apako ronA nahIM AyA?' to unhoMne kahA, 'are usake lie to cillAnA par3atA hai ! logoM ko kaise patA calegA ki hamAre yahA~ koI mara gayA hai ? isalie cillAkara ronA

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376 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) par3atA hai!' to ye loga isa taraha se cillAkara roe~, aise haiM ! sabhI taraha ke loga haiM ! unakI AvAz2a para se hameM lagatA hai ki ye bahuta hI ro rahe haiM ! aura sAmane ceharA kapar3e se Dhaka lete haiM, ye to bahuta hI pakke loga haiM! ve AvAz2a acchI nikAlate haiM, aisA nATaka karate haiN| bhole dila vAle, isalie pahale to mAna liyA saca pahale to bahuta hI ronA-dhonA aura behisAba tUphAna karate the| una dinoM chAtI pITane kA bahuta rivAja thaa| agara koI mara jAe na, to paccIsa-paccIsa striyA~ Akara chAtI pITatI rahatI thIM aura ve uchalauchalakara kUdatI thIM to ve dhabAka, dhabAka, dhabAka, dhabAka, dhbaak| unakI AvAz2a para se hameM aisA lagatA thA ki ye striyA~ khuda apanI chAtI tor3a deNgii| hama to bhole dila ke iMsAna, hameM aisA lagA ki aisA karake ye striyA~ mara jAe~gI becaarii| isase mujhe to bahuta hI duHkha hone lgaa| maiMne kahA, 'itanA duHkha! ina logoM ko kitanA du:kha ho rahA hogA!' ye isa taraha chAtI Dhakakara pITatI thIM, aise-aise, aise AvAz2a krke| mujhe lagA ki isase to chAtI TUTa jAegI! aura vaha AvAz2a bahuta z2ora kI, z2ora kI AvAz2a sunAI detI thI na! apane vicAra kaise aura yaha saba kaisA hai? isalie phira maiM to jA~ca karane gyaa| maiMne to phira aMdara jo eka-do acche loga the na, unase kahA ki 'Apa aisA saba kyoM kara rahe ho? inameM se kyA koI bhI vApasa A jAegA?' baccA thA phira bhI mana meM aisA huA, to una saba ko bhI hotA hogA na? unake pati mara jAe~ to nahIM hogA? laukika vyavahAra meM DhU~Dha nikAlI nATakIya banAvaTa maiM choTA thA na, taba maiM bahuta hI bhAvuka thaa| maiM to, jaisA dikhAI detA thA usI ko saca mAna letA thA kyoMki mujhe buddhi kI koI bahuta nahIM par3I thii| mujhe hArTa kI bahuta par3I thI, yAnI ki hArTilI svabhAva thA to jaba aisA dekhatA thA to aMdara kucha kA kucha ho jAtA thaa| phira chAtI pITane ke bAda meM maiMne aMdara jAkara dhIre se eka paMDitAina se pUchA ki 'Apa yoM chAtI kyoM tor3a rahI ho? isase to chAtI meM roga ho jAe~ge!

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[10.5] jAnA, jagat hai polampola darda hogA isase to!' taba paMDitAina ne kahA, 'tujhe samajha meM nahIM AegA' / maiMne pUchA, 'kyA hai ? chAtI nahIM pITa rahe ?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'jinake ghara vAle mara jAte haiM, sirpha vahI pITatI haiM chAtI / bAkI saba to isa taraha hAtha lagAte haiM, aise / use aMdara nahIM lagatI, chAtI meM nahIM lagatI lekina AvAz2a z2ora kI AtI hai'| phira maiMne kahA, 'Apa saba ko kaise ronA AtA hai ? kisakA vaha beTA, kauna mara gayA aura Apako ronA kaise AtA hai?' taba kahate haiM ki, 'hara koI apane-apane ghara kA yAda karake rote haiN'| unake ghara beTA mara gayA ho to use yAda karake rote haiM, kisI kA pati mara gayA ho to unheM yAda karake rotI hai, inake lie koI nahIM rotA, taba mujhe spaSTa huA / maiMne kahA, 'ohoho ! taba to ye loga pakke haiM ! maiM to abhI kaccA huuN| yaha sArA nATaka to alaga hI taraha kA hai ' / isalie phira maiMne isase kinArA kara liyA / yaha saba khokhalA hai, pola hai / maiM sacce dila se rotA thA / lekina sAmane vAle ko rotA huA dekhate haiM to svAbhAvika rUpa se hameM bhI ronA A jAtA thA / yaha jagat to pUrA khokhalA hai! yaha saba to kalA hai ! phira maiMne kahA, 'yaha saca nahIM hai ?' taba kahA, 'nahIM, ise laukika kahate haiM, laukik'| maiMne jAna liyA, to aba ApakI yaha vyApArI dukAna kahI jaaegii| kisa taraha kI kaMpanI hai yaha ? inDiyana paz2ala, usakA hala phaoNrena vAloM ke pAsa nahIM hai choTA bhale hI thA lekina jAnane kI jijJAsA bahuta thI, isalie usake bAda aisI dagAbAz2iyA~ DhU~Dhane ke lie vahA~ jAkara dekhakara AyA thA, to ve aisA karate the| to maiMne aisA jAnA ki ye to khokhale mUsala kI AvAz2a hai / yaha mUsala Thosa nahIM hai, khokhalA mUsala hai| yaha to vahI bAta huI ki kyA khokhalA mUsala kUTane ke kAma AtA hai ? maiMne to sabhI jagaha dekha liyaa| khokhalI AvAz2a hI hai na... z2yAdA AvAz2a to hAtha kI hI thI aura hAtha chAtI para dhIme se lagatA thA isalie phira maiMne kaha diyA, 'bhAI aisA dikhAvA calatA hogA kyA ?' phira unhoMne mujhase kahA, 'kyA Apa nahIM jAnate the ki aisA dikhAvA hotA hai ?' bahuta hI pakke loga the, nIce taka sAr3I se ghU~ghaTa nikAlakara itanI acchI AvAz2a karate the, isa taraha dikhAvA karate ! lekina dekhakara dhIre-dhIre yaha saba sIkha 377

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378 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) gyaa| tabhI se samajha gayA ki isa saMsAra meM soca-samajhakara utarane jaisA hai| isakI sIr3hiyA~ utarane lAyaka nahIM haiM, yaha jokhima bharA hai| yaha jokhima vAlA jagat hai na? ye to inDiyana haiM, kaccI mAyA nahIM haiM ! phaoNrena vAle to isa paz2ala meM ghira hI jAe~ge ki yaha inDiyana paz2ala kisa taraha kI hai ? chAtI pITate haiM, lekina chAtI meM coTa nahIM lagane dete| hamAre deza kI paz2ala to dekhie ! yaha inDiyana paz2ala aisI hai ki use aura koI saoNlva nahIM kara sktaa| vahA~ (phaoNrena) kI paz2ala hama saoNlva kara sakate haiM, lekina ve hamArI paz2ala saoNlva nahIM kara skte| laukika tarIke se sahI hai lekina usakA durupayoga ho gayA praznakartA : dAdA, hama aisA dikhAvA kyoM karate haiM ? dAdAzrI : jaba iMsAna mara jAtA hai taba rote kyoM haiM? to kahate haiM ki 'usake prati jo moha thA vaha pighala gyaa'| aba to aisA kahate haiM ki 'bhAI, rone do, rone do... ! rone do varnA usake aMdara gubAra bhara jaaegaa'| isalie saba loga milakara rulAte haiM lekina aba usakA durupayoga ho gayA hai to aba rulAte hI rahate haiN| jabaki kucha samaya ke lie hI rulAnA hotA hai| usase phira ina logoM meM ronA-dhonA calane lgaa| aba kyA kiyA jAe? chAtI to pITanI hI hai lekina bhAI chAtI kyoM pITate ho? yaha laukika hai| yadi isake bAre meM kisI se pUche ki 'kyoM jAnA hai?' to kahate haiM, 'laukika karane jAnA hai|' laukika arthAt dikhaavaa| vaha to sacamuca rotA hai lekina hameM to jhUTha-mUTha ronA par3atA hai na? nahIM ronA par3atA? loga jaba yahA~ Ate haiM taba sacamuca bhI rotA hai, jhUTha-mUTha bhI rotA hai lekina jaba sabhI baiThe hoM taba use laukika kahate haiN| phira bhI laukika rUpa se yaha sahI bhI hai, karekTa bAi rileTiva vyU poinTa aura alaukika arthAt riyala sahI hai|

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379 [10.5] jAnA, jagat hai polampola pola bAhara nahIM AtI hai isalie laukika calatA rahatA hai alaukika kI to bAta hI alaga hai na! aura laukika meM to Age kapar3A khIMcakara aura mu~ha meM pAna dabAyA hotA hai to use cabAte rahate haiN| yadi pola dikha jAe to saba loga samajha jaaeNge| logoM ko to isa pola kA patA nahIM calatA hai n| yaha jagat calatA hI rhegaa| praznakartA : samajhatA to hara koI hai ki, 'yaha maiM nATaka kara rahA dAdAzrI : nahIM, sabhI aisA nahIM smjhte| praznakartA : kyA karane vAlA nahIM samajhatA ki vaha gunAha kara rahA dAdAzrI : nahIM, yadi samajhate to apane ghara Akara bhI 'aisA' hI karate, lekina jaba khuda ke ghara hotA hai to chAtI tor3a DAlate haiM, pgle| ataH samajhate nahIM haiN| laukika arthAt laukik| laukika kaba nahIM karate? jaba khuda zarIra chor3ate haiM taba laukika nahIM krte| jaba khuda kA zarIra chor3ate haiM taba ronA nahIM, kucha karanA nahIM, kucha bhI nhiiN| usa samaya karate haiM? jaba parAe kA zarIra chUTatA hai taba karate haiM aura khuda kA zarIra ho to kucha nhiiN| jaba khuda kA zarIra jAtA hai taba kyA koI rotA hai? praznakartA : phira to use rone ko rahatA hI nhiiN| dAdAzrI : are! rone vAlA hI calA gayA na, aba kauna rone vAlA rahA? pUrI duniyA laukika hai, isalie alaukika kI ora jAo praznakartA : lekina dAdA, maiMne aisA dekhA hai jinakA naz2adIkI riztedAra hotA hai, ve chAtI para coTa lagA lete haiM aura vahA~ para unakA khUna kAlA-kAlA ho jAtA hai| dAdAzrI : yaha to jaba bilkula hI khAsa saMbaMdhI hote haiM taba,

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380 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) lekina aura saba to rote haiM, sacamuca meM rote haiM, ve apane khAsa saMbaMdhI ko yAda karake rote haiN| phira se yAda kara-karake rote haiM, yaha bhI eka Azcarya hai na! bhUtakAla ko vartamAnakAla meM le Ate haiM na! hameM aisA prayoga karake dikhAte haiM! are, hama yaha saba nahIM jAnate aura jaba samajhane lagate haiM, taba hameM zabdoM se patA calatA hai ki yaha to laukika hai| laukika arthAt kyA? Upara-Upara kA dikhaavaa| kaisA? suprphluas| yaha to samAja ke aMdara se hI bigar3a gayA hai| kyA ho gayA hai ? samAja kA DhA~cA nahIM bacA hai aura samAja meM bigAr3a A gayA hai, donoM ora kA kaise calegA? yA to koI DhA~cA honA cAhie, varnA aise bigar3e samAja ko pheMka denA cAhie, aisA samAja nahIM caahie| jo makAna jIrNa ho jAtA hai, use girA hI denA caahie| yaha duniyA hI pUrI laukika hai, hameM alaukika kI ora calanA hai| yadi isameM pha~sa gae to mAre gae smjho| anaMta janmoM se aise cakkaroM meM haiM ! to bacapana se hI mujhe yaha saba ulTA lagatA thaa| marane vAle ke lie nahIM lekina khuda ke svArtha ke lie rote are! kitanI hI bAra to, jinakA pati mara jAtA hai vaha strI kyoM rotI hai? to vaha apane mana meM yaha socakara rotI hai ki 'isa mue ne mujhase zAdI kI aura kucha chor3akara bhI nahIM gyaa| aba mujhe akelI ko bhaTakanA pdd'egaa'| vaha apane duHkha ke lie rotI hai, vaha jo mara gayA hai usake lie nahIM rotii| apane-apane duHkha se rote haiM, marane vAle ke lie nahIM rote| sabhI jagaha ye sAre rizte svArtha ke haiN| iMsAna ke marane ke bAda svArtha ke lie rote haiM aura agara koI kahe ki 'maiM prema se ro rahA hU~,' to usakA prema kA svArtha hai| prema to use kahate haiM ki cAhe jIe yA mare, phira bhI prema rhe| arthAt ye saba loga svArtha ke lie rote haiN| ve

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[10.5] jAnA, jagat hai polampola 381 usake jAne ke bAda rote haiN| varnA yadi sacamuca meM ronA A rahA ho na, to pahale hI ronA A jAtA ki, 'aba merA kyA hogA?' dhokhA khAkara duniyA kI pola pakar3atA gayA maiMne pahale dhokhA khAyA, bholA-bhAlA iMsAna thA! dhokhA khAyA phira mAra khA-khAkara samajha gayA thaa| isa taraha dhokhA khAte-khAte jagat kI pola (gar3abar3iyA~) pakar3atA gayA to use 'pola' kahA hai, varnA pola ko 'pola nahIM kahA hai| yaha saba nATaka hI hai sirph| kyA aMdara polampola nahIM hai? isa duniyA kI sArI pola dekhakara AyA hU~ maiM, kyoMki maiM saccA puruSa thaa| mujhe aisA laukika ThIka nahIM lagatA thaa| aisA laukika ThIka lagatA hogA? ronA matalaba ronA hI AnA cAhie lekina phira maiMne dekhA yaha khokhalA jagat hai| yaha kyA koI saccA vyApAra hai? Apako kaisA lagatA hai? to phira yaha nukasAna bhI nahIM hai| yaha to laukika hai| hameM aisA laukika karanA hotA hai| laukika arthAt loga apane sAtha jaisA vyavahAra kareM, vaisA hI hameM bhI karanA hai| kyA Apako yaha laukika acchA lagatA hai| ise laukika kahate haiM na? usameM agara koI kamaz2ora par3a jAe to mArA hI jAegA, lekina laukika meM to agale dina use sikhAne vAlA koI guru mila hI jAtA hai ki 'kyA aise karate haiM? dekha! aise karanA caahie'| to phira vaha vyakti phira se vaha bhUla nahIM krtaa| isa taraha chAtI para mArate z2arUra haiM, hameM aisA dikhAI detA hai lekina use lagatI nahIM hai! laukika arthAt vyvhaar| saba ro rahe haiM to hameM bhI ronA hai, lekina roe bagaira ronA hai, vAstava meM nahIM ronA hai| isa laukika meM to saba samajha meM AtA hai, lekina isameM samajha meM nahIM aataa| isameM sacamuca rotA hai! praznakartA : dAdA, dasaveM sAla se lekara assI sAla taka Apa kitanI bAra roe? dAdAzrI : rote to haiM, kucha sTeja para vApasa rote bhI haiM aura phira

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382 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) baMda hotA gyaa| vaha to, jaba bA kI mRtyu huI thI taba usa taraha se royA thA, kyoMki agara maiM nahIM rotA to aMdara ghuTana hotI aura duHkhI ho jAtA isalie jAna-bUjhakara royA thaa| aMdara jo merepana ke paramANu bhare hue the na, ve paramANu Aja lephTa (chUTa) ho jAte haiN| yAnI unakA pAnI bana jAtA hai aura vaha pAnI aMdara se bAhara nikala jAtA hai| varnA chAtI meM gubAra bharA rahatA ki 'meraa-meraa| merI bA-merI baa'| jAte haiM jamAI kI maiyata meM lekina svAda nahIM chor3ate praznakartA : aisA anya koI anubhava batAie na, dAdA, jaba jagat kI aisI pola dekhI ho| dAdAzrI : maiM bAIsa-teIsa sAla kA thA, taba yahA~ bar3audA ke pAsa vizvAmitrI sTezana thA, choTA sA phlega sTezana thA, choTI gAr3iyoM kA, vahA~ para gayA thaa| eka paricita Ane vAle the| maiM sTezana para unase milane gayA thaa| phira sTezana para baiThe-baiThe jaba samaya huA sAr3he gyAraha-bAraha baje, to jinake jamAI kI mRtyu ho gaI thI na, ve bhAI bhAdaraNa jA rahe the| mere mana meM to aisA thA ki inake jamAI kI mRtyu ho gaI hai isalie inheM bahuta duHkha ho rahA hogA, to hameM unase nahIM milanA hai| agara hama unase mileMge to unheM duHkha hogA, isalie hameM nahIM milanA hai| maiM apane mana meM isa taraha se ghabarA rahA thA aura phira to ve hI mujhase milane aae| to isa taraha kapar3A bA~dhakara baiThe hue the, unake jamAI kI mRtyu ho gaI thI islie| varnA pagar3I pahanate, to jaba maiM milA to eka hAtha meM DhebarA (bAjare kA eka vyaMjana) aura eka hAtha meM z2arA acAra thA aura mircI khA rahe the| 'are isa bUr3he kA jamAI mara gayA hai, phira bhI mircI to nahIM chor3a rhaa| vaha ArAma se DhebarU cabA rahA hai!' 'pUjA lAla kI maiyata meM jA rahA hU~' usane khaa| pUjA lAla unake jamAI lagate the aura ye sasura kyA kaha rahe haiM? eka hAtha meM DhebarU aura Upara se acAra khAte jA rahe the aura mujhase kaha rahe the ki 'pUjA lAla kI maiyata meM jA rahA huuN| taba mujhe Azcarya huaa| maiMne phoTo dekhaa| mujhase kahate haiM, 'pUjA lAla mara ge'| maiMne kahA, 'aisI maz2Aka ur3AI! DhebarU aura acAra hAtha meM!'

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[10.5] jAnA, jagat hai polampola praznakartA : dAdA, Apa jo kahate haiM na, taba aisA lagatA hai ki jaise pikcara dekha rahe hoM ! 383 dAdAzrI : isa taraha pikcara dikhAI de, to usameM to bahuta maz2A AtA hai| sabhI ko aisA nahIM hotaa| lekina vaha isa taraha se acAra kI phA~ka khIMca rahA thA aura DhebarU khAtA jA rahA thA aura phira cabAtA jA rahA thaa| taba maiM choTA thA / taba mere mana meM aisA huA ki, 'ye unake sasura hokara aisA kara rahe haiM ! Upara se aise-aise karake acAra khA rahe haiM ! are, bhAI chor3a na acAra, Aja ke dina to sIdhA raha!' lekina nahIM rahate ye loga ! maiyata meM jA rahe ho phira bhI acAra kyoM khA rahe ho ? do Dhebare khAkara pAnI pI lo na ! to kahatA hai, 'nahIM, acAra to khAnA hogaa| do Dhebare khAkara pAnI pIe~ge to nahIM clegaa'| maiMne kahA, 'are! ApakI maiyata to vaisI hI hai !' vAstava meM maz2Aka kiyA hai / nahIM ? praznakartA : mIThI maz2Aka hai yA kruala (nirdayI) maz2Aka hai ? dAdAzrI : isalie maiMne 'paz2ala' kahA, paz2ala ! agara maz2Aka samajha meM A jAe taba to loga cir3ha hI jAe~ge na ! 'merI maz2Aka ur3AI ?' vyavahAra meM saba khAte-pIte haiM aura Upara se svAMga karate haiM / isa svAMga kI vajaha se bhrAMti nahIM jAtI / svAMga nahIM honA cAhie, sApha-sApha honA caahie| phira maiMne hamArI bA se bAta kii| unhoMne kahA ki 'khAe~ge to sahI na, becAre! kahA~ jAe~ge becAre ?' mere mana meM thA ki loga dila ke sacce hoNge| aba aisA ho taba Dhebare yA jo aise kucha roTI - voTI khA leMge to nahIM calegA kyA unheM ? maiM to samajha gayA ki yaha pUrA jagat khokhalA hai| rakho na ise eka tarapha ! yaha to, hama se hI bhUla ho rahI hai / isalie aise logoM se sAvadhAna rahakara clo| unake bahanoI kI ciMtA meM maiM to jAga rahA thA aura ve kharrATe rahe the mere dUsare eka aura paricita vyakti the, maiM jaba yahA~ se unake gA~va

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384 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) gayA taba maiM unake yahA~ rukA thaa| unhoMne mujhase kahA ki "mere bahanoI kI tabiyata abhI bahuta bigar3a gaI hai, ve sIriyasa haiN| mujhe to pUre dina caina nahIM pdd'aa| parasoM hI vahA~ unase milakara vApasa aayaa| kama umra meM, 'bahuta hI sika (bImAra) haiM' unake yahA~ aisA tAra AyA hai|" taba mujhe aisA samajha meM AyA ki inakI bahana kI umra paiMtIsa-chattIsa sAla hai aura pati ar3atIsa sAla kA hai to use kitanA du:kha ho rahA hogA? to yoM ciMtA kara rahA hogaa| unakI bAta sunakara mujhe bhI ciMtA hone lgii| usa samaya mujhe 'jJAna' nahIM huA thA isalie maiM bhI khUba sura meM sura milA rahA thA ki 'bhAI hA~! bahuta burA huA hai yaha sb| aba Apako vahA~ dekhane jAnA pdd'egaa| tAra AyA thA isalie vaisI bAtacIta cala rahI thI, taba gyAraha baje hama yoM palaMga para leTakara bAteM kara rahe the, ve bhI palaMga para aura maiM bhI palaMga pr| phira maiM to aMdara imozanala hone lagA isalie phira nIMda hI nahIM aaii| aisI bAteM kara rahe the isalie phira hamAre mana meM aisA hI hogA na! phira maiM bhI jaagaa| maiM bhI z2arA soca meM thA, sAr3he gyAraha ho gae aura ve to kharrATe lene lage! yoM to bahanoI kI ciMtA kara rahA thA aura abhI gaharI nIMda so rahA hai ! aisA hai yaha jagat ! taba mujhe lagA ki 'yaha AdamI kisa taraha kA hai!' he bhagavAna! yaha duniyA aisI hai? isake bahanoI kI ciMtA meM mujhe pUrI rAta nIMda nahIM AI! dekha duniyA! unake bahanoI ke lie maiM jAga rahA hU~, maiM parezAna ho rahA hU~ jabaki ye to kharrATe le rahe haiM! isI ko kahate haiM duniyaa| kharrATe nahIM lene vAlA bhI mUrkha kahA jAegA aura kharrATe lene vAlA bhI mUrkha kahA jaaegaa| praznakartA : hA~, donoM hii| duniyA kA nirIkSaNa karake aMta meM sAra nikAlA hamane __dAdAzrI : sonA to par3egA hI na? bahanoI bImAra hoM yA kucha bhI ho, lekina sonA to par3egA na? hameM to vaha jAgRti satA rahI thI, jisakI jAgRti kama hotI hai, vaha so jAtA hai| phira maiMne apane Apa se kahA, 'maiM kahA~ bevakUpha banA!' jisakA bahanoI bImAra thA vaha so gayA aura

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[10.5] jAnA, jagat hai polampola maiMne usakI bAta sunI to mujha para asara ho gayA ! hama hI mUrkha haiM ! tabhI se maiM isa duniyA ko pahacAnane lagA / aura kucha nahIM, usakA doSa nahIM nikaalaa| sirpha noTa karatA thA ki duniyA kyA hai ! 385 praznakartA: dAdA, sAinTisToM ke jo obz2arvezana hote haiM na, usI taraha Apake bhI sabhI obz2arvezana soce-samajhe hue the| sabhI obz2arvezana karake aura sabhI ko noTa kiyA jAtA hai, vaha sAinsa kA niyama hai| Apane z2yAdA se z2yAdA noTa karake z2yAdA se z2yAdA sAra nikAlA, aisA pratyakSa dikhAI detA hai ! dAdAzrI : isa prakAra yaha saba noTa kiyaa| phira hamane hisAba bhI lagAyA ki nyAya karane jAe~ge to kyA hogA ? to kahate haiM, 'are! lekina agara ve nahIM soe~ge to kyA hai? Apane bhUla kI' / samaya hone para usakA vaha sAlA to so hI jAegA na, to hameM bhI so jAnA hai / yaha duniyA to balki merI hI bhUla nikaalegii| dekha lo na ! hamane isa duniyA ko hara prakAra se dekhA hai! aura bahuta hI bar3e- bar3e puruSoM ko dekhA hai| donoM dekhA hai maiMne, aisA nahIM hai ki nahIM dekhA hai / phira samajha gayA ki yaha jagat polampola hai| TemparerI para cir3ha zurU se hI mujhe to bacapana se hI hara eka cIz2a para cir3ha thI / kisa cIz2a para ? TemparerI para / praznakartA : TemparerI cIz2oM para cir3ha thI / dAdAzrI : TemparerI para cir3ha / aba kauna sI cIz2a TemparerI nahIM hai ? TemparerI hI hai na, yaha saba / ye jo DigriyA~ haiM, ve sira para nahIM lagI huI haiM, ve TemparerI hI haiM na? duniyA ko pahacAnA, pApa kA saMgrahasthAna praznakartA : Apane duniyA ke bAre meM aura kyA sAra nikAlA ? dAdAzrI : mujhe bAraha-teraha sAla kI umra meM aisA lagA ki yaha

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386 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) jagat to pApa kA hI saMgrahasthAna hai| jahA~ paira rakho, vahA~ pApa kA saMgrahasthAna, to maiMne bacapana se hI taya kara liyA thA ki isa pApa ke saMgrahasthAna meM ghUmane ke bajAya dopahara ko do ghaMTe so jAU~, aura vaha bhI vApasa dharma kI pustakeM par3hakara so jaauuN| prati kSaNa dikhAI detA hai vikarAla isIlie nahIM hotA moha praznakartA : dAdA, Apake udAharaNa bahuta hI saTIka hote haiM, to ve udAharaNa kahA~ se Ate haiM? dAdAzrI : hameM bacapana se hI moha nahIM thA jAnane kI bahuta icchA thI, isalie hameM udAharaNa mila aae| praznakartA : Apako bacapana se hI moha kyoM nahIM hotA thA? dAdAzrI : hameM isakA yaha svarUpa bacapana se hI dikhAI detA thA, vikraal| hara kSaNa bhaya vAlA, prati kSaNa duHkhadAyI, prati kSaNa parezAnI bharA dikhAI detA thA isalie mUrchA hI nahIM hotI thI kisI bhI jagaha pr| kisI bhI jagaha para TesTa hI nahIM AtA thaa| __ aura dUsarA, mujhe samajha meM A gayA ki ye sArI kudaratI cIjeM lona para haiM, to kabhI na kabhI rIpe (cukAdA karanA) karanI hI pdd'eNgii| duniyA kI cIjeM muphta meM to nahIM miltiiN| ve to, jo pe (dI) kI haiM, vahI mila rahI haiM isalie eka bhI paisA nahIM bigAr3anA cAhie, varnA rIpe karanA (cukAdA karanA) pdd'egaa| mujhe bAIsaveM sAla meM aMdara se javAba milA ki 'tujhe jo lenA ho vaha le le, lekina usake lie rIpe karanA hogaa'|

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[10.6] vividha prakAra ke bhaya ke sAmane... mRtyu kA bhaya, to aisA hotA thA ki yaha to cAhie hI nahIM hameM praznakartA : dAdAjI, bacapana meM Apako Dara lagatA thA? dAdAzrI : bacapana meM to sabhI Darate haiM, maiM bhI DaratA thaa| maiM to jaba choTA thA taba mujhe mRtyu kA bhaya lagatA thaa| janma huA hai to mareMge to shii| maiM kA~pa jAtA thaa| bacapana se hI aisA lagatA thA ki yaha saba hameM nahIM caahie| praznakartA : kisI kI mRtyu dekhI thI? dAdAzrI : maiMne bahuta kama umra meM mRtyu dekhI thii| eka bAra zAdI meM baMdUkacI se baMdUka calAne meM galatI ho gaI aura vaha mara gyaa| vahA~ para behisAba khUna thA! hama to usa samaya bAraha sAla ke the, to ghabarA gae to abhI taka vaha ghabarAhaTa rahatI thI, jJAna hone se pahale tk| kyoMki aisA saba dekhA hI nahIM thA na! bacapana meM lagatA thA sA~pa aura bicchU kA Dara praznakartA : aura kisa cIz2a kA Dara lagatA thA, dAdA? dAdAzrI : sA~pa se Dara lagatA thA aura bhUta se Dara lagatA thaa| logoM ko taraha-taraha ke vahama hote haiM na! una dinoM z2amIna para bahuta se sA~pa, aura behisAba bicchU, bAraha

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388 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) mahIne meM logoM ko cha: sau sA~pa to dikhAI hI de jAte the| cora aura luTeroM se bhI Dara lagatA thaa| praznakartA : oho! dAdAzrI : aura abhI to bAraha mahIne meM aise kitane sA~pa dikhAI dete haiM? praznakartA : maiMne to abhI dekhA hI nahIM hai, pahale dekhe hoMge lekina bahuta nhiiN| para dAdA, usakA kAraNa yaha hai ki Apako jaMgaloM meM bahuta rahanA par3atA thaa| ratnAgirI ke pAsa ke jaMgala meM lakar3I lene jAnA hotA thA isalie phira vahA~ para to sA~pa dikheMge hI na, unakA vAsa hI vahA~ para hai na! dAdAzrI : hamAre ghara para bhI bahuta dekhe the| jitane hamane jaMgala meM dekhe usase z2yAdA to ghara meM dekhe| una dinoM gA~voM meM ghara A~gana meM bahuta sA~pa rahate the kyoMki yoM bhI logoM ke do-cAra Dhahe hue ghara to the, koI bAr3A hotA thA, to vahA~ chupe rahate the| loga lakar3iyA~ rakhate the, karAMTho (jalAne kI lakar3iyA~) rakhe rakhate the aura itane bar3e-bar3e nAga! phira kheta meM bhI ghUmane jAte the na, Ama khAne jAte the, kahIM aura jAte the, to bAhara sA~pa dikhAI dete the| praznakartA : barasAta meM bahuta nikalate the| z2amIna meM pAnI bhara jAtA thA isalie sA~pa bAhara nikala Ate the| dAdAzrI : hA~, isalie nikalate the aura zaharoM meM to roz2a do tIna bicchU dikhAI dete the| Upara se girate bhI the, hama so rahe hote the taba A~kha para gira par3ate the| praznakartA : aba aisA nahIM hai, aba to logoM kI saMkhyA bar3ha gaI hai| dAdAzrI : haM, aisA nahIM hai, una dinoM ye gaTara nahIM the| una dinoM to khulI saMDAsa thIM aura gaTara bhI saba khule the jabaki abhI to pAnI aMdara hI bharA rahatA hai na kamoDa meM to aMdara Ane jAne kA rAstA baMda

Page #454
[10.6] vividha prakAra ke bhaya ke sAmane... 389 rahatA hai, isalie gaTara meM se bAhara nahIM A skte| jabaki pahale to sIdhe A jAte the| kalpanA kI vajaha se bhAbhI ke bhUta kA bhrama praznakartA : Apane kahA hai ki bhUta kA bhaya lagatA thA, to bhUta ko dekhA thaa| dAdAzrI : maiM teraha sAla kA thA taba mujhe bukhAra AyA thA aura daravAz2e baMda karake baMda kamare meM baiThA huA thaa| sAmane bahuta bar3I alamArI thI, aura usameM daravAz2e nahIM the| aMdara khAne bane hue the| tIna-cAra khAnoM vAlI alamArI thI lekina daravAz2A nahIM thA usmeN| eka bAra A~kha khulI to sAmane kucha dhuMdhalA sA dikhAI diyA, aura vahA~ merI (pahalI) bhAbhI dikhAI diiN| mujhe to maNi bhAI kI pahalI patnI dikhAI dene lgiiN| maNi bhAI ne pahale zAdI kI thI na, to ve sUraja bhAbhI dikhAI dene lagIM aura maiMne unakA beTA bhI dekhA, beTA aura bhAbhI donoM dikhAI die| maiMne kahA, 'ye kahA~ se A gae vApasa?' aura vaha bhI beTe ko lekara caDhate-utarate hue dikhAI die| phira ve una alamArI ke khAnoM meM pahalI maMjila para car3he, phira vApasa beTA dikhAI diyA, phira dUsarI maMjila para car3he, to beTA dikhAI diyaa| maiMne kahA, 'ye bhUta haiM yA kyA haiM ?' loga kahate the ki ve marane ke bAda bhUta bana gaI haiN| to mujhe bukhAra ke cakkara meM aisA dikhAI diyA thaa| usase mujha meM Dara baiTha gyaa| aisI pratiSThA kI thI isalie vaha dikhAI diyaa| bhUta bana gae, vaha jJAna hAz2ira ho gayA aura logoM ne sthApana kI thI ki bhUta hai isalie dikhAI diyaa| phira to maiM parezAna ho gayA aura bhayabhIta ho gyaa| phira to ekadama se A~kheM mIMcakara daravAz2A khola diyaa| phira bhUta kA dikhanA baMda ho gyaa| ye sabhI kalpanA ke bhUta the! hama jaisI kalpanA karate haiM na, vaisA hI dikhAI detA hai| jisa bAre meM socate haiM, vaisA hI dikhAI detA hai| isase samajhanA yaha hai ki hama jaisI pratiSThA karate haiM vaha vaisA hI phala detI hai| logoM ne kahA thA isalie dikhAI diyA mahuDe meM bhUta maiM biz2anesa karatA thA, taba vahA~ para hamArA kaoNnTraikTa kA kAma cala

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jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) rahA thaa| yahA~ jaroda meM vizvAmitrI brija banAyA thaa| 1932 meM vaha brija banAne kA kaoNnTraikTa liyA thA / taba caubIsa sAla kI umra meM brija para (lo levala) kAma ke lie jA rahA thA / vahA~ kAma kI sAITa para makAna le rakhA thA, vahA~ para rahane ke lie le rakhA thA / sAITa para rahate haiM to vahA~ jAtA thA sAikala se / eka dina sAikala lekara gA~va meM gayA thaa| vahA~ gA~va meM jAkara phira vApasa lauTate hue dera ho gii| rAta ko sAr3he gyAraha baje a~dhere meM jA rahA thA sAikala para / dhUla-miTTI vAlA rAstA aura ghora a~dherA ho gayA thaa| dera ho gaI thI, to spIDilI sAikala calAI / 390 logoM ne mujhe batAyA thA ki isa jagaha para aisA hai / mujhe logoM kI batAI bAteM yAda A giiN| yaha jo mahuDA hai na, usa para bhUta rahate haiM / aisI bAta sunI thI ki vahA~ rAste meM mahuDA kA bhUta hai / jaba mahuDA Ane lagA, to mujhe bhUta dikhAI dene lagA / taba mujhe mana meM vahama ho gayA, yaha bhUta AyA hai yA kyA hai ? vahA~ dekhA to bar3I-bar3I lapaTeM dikhAI dIM aura bujha jAtI thIM / lapaTeM uThatI thIM aura bujha jAtI thIM / bhUta kI lapaTeM dekhiiN| do sau phuTa dUra se mujhe to lapaTeM dikhAI diiN| phira to z2ora se sAikala claaii| naz2adIka jAne para lapaTeM bar3I hotI giiN| logoM ne mujhe jo batAyA thA, vaha saca lagane lgaa| phira maiMne socA aba to A hI pha~se haiM to sAhasa karo ! zUravIratA vAlA svabhAva, to bhaya kA sAmanA kiyA taba phira maiM to mUla rUpa se zUravIra raMga vAlA thA na ! to bhaya ke sAmane hathiyAra DhU~Dha nikaalaa| aMdara ghabarAhaTa se aisA- aisA ho rahA thA ki 'sAlA, kyA ?' ataH eka tarapha Dara to lagA lekina dUsarI tarapha hamalA karane kI Adata / yaha jJAna nahIM huA thA, to eka burI Adata thI ki jahA~-jahA~ para takalIpha hotI thI, jahA~ Dara lagatA thA, vahA~ sAmane jAtA thA / aisI Adata thii| pIche nahIM lauTatA thA / usa Adata ne z2ora mArA / vaha bhUta hai to bhUta, usakA sAmanA karanA hai / jo honA hogA vaha hogA, bhAganA nahIM hai / maiMne kyA taya kiyA ?

Page #456
[10.6] vividha prakAra ke bhaya ke sAmane... 391 praznakartA : isa prakAra bhUta se bhAganA nahIM hai| dAdAzrI : bhAganA nahIM hai, hameM sAmanA karanA hai| jo honA hogA vaha hogaa| jaba par3a rahI hai to par3ane do pUrI taraha se| agara usake girane se sira meM cheda honA hai to usake bajAya hama hI na lagA deM? jo honA ho so ho, hameM usa para par3anA hai| aba vApasa nahIM lauTanA hai| vApasa lauTeMge to hameM pakar3a legaa| bhAgane se cipaka par3atA hai| loga kyA kahate haiM, 'bhUta se bhAge isalie vaha Apase cipaka pdd'aa'| lekina hameM to aisI burI Adata thI hI nahIM, bhAgane kI Adata hI nahIM thii| varnA agara koI dUsarA hotA to vahA~ se rAstA badala detaa| bhUta kyA vahA~ se bhAga jAtA? kyA kahate ho sAhaba? praznakartA : koI aura hotA to pasInA chUTa jaataa| Atma zraddhA thI ki 'mujhe kucha nahIM hogA' dAdAzrI : yahI eka bar3I Adata thI, bhaya kA sAmanA karane kI aadt| koI bhI luTerA Ae to mujhe usakA sAmanA karane kI Adata ho gaI thI, bhAgane kI Adata nahIM thii| aMdara aisI Atma zraddhA thI ki, 'mujhe kucha nahIM hogaa'| pUrva janma kA aisA kucha hogA! praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : varnA aisI zraddhA nahIM ho sktii| pacAsa loga hoM phira bhI bilkula bhI nahIM ghbraauuN| talavAreM aura baMdUka lekara A jAe~ taba bhI nahIM ddruuN| Dara to maiMne dekhA hI nhiiN| isalie aisA huA ki lAo aba, usakA sAmanA karate haiN| usa bhUta para, bhUta para hI jAkara hamalA kruuN| pheMka dUM sAikala usa pr| ataH maiMne sAikala kI spIDa bar3hAI, khUba spIDa bar3hAI, phira to maiMne jAkara sAikala girA dI to sAikala z2ora se jahA~ lapaTeM uTha rahIM thI vahIM para girA dii|

Page #457
392 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) ve lapaTeM bhUta kI nahIM thIM, ve sulagatI huI bIr3I kI thIM praznakartA : lekina bhUta thA to sahI? dAdAzrI : koI bhUta nahIM thA, bhUta kA bhaya bhI nahIM thA lekina Adata aisI thI! Upara girakara use pIsa diyA ! aura ve ciMgArIyA~ bIr3I jalAne vAle eka iMsAna kI hI thiiN| jo AdamI bIr3I jalA rahA thA, maiM usa para gira pdd'aa| maiM TakarA gayA, mujhe lagI aura vaha becArA AdamI bhI ekadama gira par3A, daba gayA blki| maiM samajha gayA ki yaha koI iMsAna hai! vaha iMsAna thA, aura koI nahIM thaa| vaha zora macAne lgaa| 'bhAI sAhaba, mujhe kahA~ mAra DAlA? mujhe kisane mAra DAlA?' 'maiMne kahA, are, tujhe kauna mAregA? maiM hU~', aura Upara se maiMne use ddaaNttaa| maiMne kahA, 'nAlAyaka, rAste meM A rahA hai ? abhI kahA~ se AyA?' aisA karake z2arA use DA~TA to usane kahA, 'seTha Apa? seTha Apa haiM ' maiMne kahA, 'haaN'| mujhase kahA, 'Apa abhI kahA~ se A rahe haiM?' kahane lagA, 'mujhe to laga gaI hai'| maiMne kahA, 'cala paTTI-vaTTI baMdhavA deM ab| cupacApa A jA vahA~ pr| cala-cala, jarA vahA~ taka cl'| to maiM use mahuA ke per3a taka le gyaa| phira maiMne kahA, 'jA aba, le bIr3iyA~ detA huuN'| use kucha bIr3iyA~ diiN| pA~ca-eka rupae die hoMge, usa becAre kA kyA gunAha ? sune hue jJAna ke AdhAra para vahama vahIM se DhU~Dha nikAlA ki yaha saba kisI prakAra kI kalpanAe~ haiN| hameM koI jaisA batAtA hai, vaisA hI dikhAI dene lagatA hai| lagA, 'yaha ha~sA, yaha U~cA huA', vAstava meM kucha thA nhiiN| rAta ko gyAraha baje lekina vaha vahama kyoM huA? to zAyada vahA~ para havA hogI, a~dherA hogA, to havA meM koI diyAsalAI jalA rahA hogA becArA, bIr3I jalAne ke lie| bahuta havA thI isalie bIr3I jalAne kI koziza kara rahA thA, diyAsalAI jalAtA thA aura bujha jAtI thii| to do-tIna diyAsalAI eka

Page #458
[10.6] vividha prakAra ke bhaya ke sAmane... 393 sAtha jlaaiiN| havA kI vajaha se vaha diyAsalAI jalAtA jA rahA thA, aura usI kI lapaTeM dikha rahIM thiiN| __usa diyAsalAI kI lapaTa itanI choTI sI hogI lekina mujhe to itanA (bar3A) dikhAI diyaa| kyoMki jaisA dekhate haiM (kalpanA karate haiM) vaisA hI dikhAI detA hai| bAta kyA thI ki logoM se aisA jJAna milA thA ki usa mahuA ke per3a meM bhUta hai, to vahIM se vahama ho gayA thaa| vAstava meM aura kucha nahIM thaa| maiMne do-tIna jagaha para aise bhata dekhe haiM lekina saba aisA hI thaa| sirpha kalpanA, vAstava meM kucha bhI nahIM thaa| do-tIna bAra aise udAharaNa dekhe, logoM ne kahA ki isa jagaha para bhUta rahate haiM, to kalpanA se ve bhUta dekhe, bhUta hote haiN| aisA nahIM hai ki nahIM haiM lekina mujhe nahIM mile| babUla kA dU~Tha lagA bhUta jaisA eka bAra pAleja-bArejA ke sAmane hamArA nAle kA eka choTA sA kAma cala rahA thA, to eka bAra rAta ko maiM a~dhere meM jA rahA thaa| kaoNnTraikTa kA biz2anesa thA isalie dera ho jAtI thI, phira a~dhere meM jAnA par3atA thaa| vahA~ a~dherA ho gayA thA isalie bhUta dikhAI diyA, calatA-phiratA dikhAI diyaa| aba kucha thA nhiiN| babUla kA DhU~Tha khar3A thA aura usa para patte-vatte kucha bhI nahIM the, isalie iMsAna jaisA dikhAI diyA isase mujhe aisA lagA ki, 'loga jo kahate haiM vaha bAta sahI hai ki isa jagaha para rahatA hai'| taba vahA~ para bhI aisA kiyA thaa| maiMne kahA, 'calo aba, use chUkara hI jAnA hai hmeN'| yaha jo sAmanA karane kI Adata thI na pahale se, isalie maiM to usa bhUta kI tarapha hI calA rauba se... mUla rUpa se to kSatriya the na! vahA~ jAkara jaba maiMne use chUA taba DhU~Tha nikalA! babUla kA dUMTha dekhaa| kSatriya svabhAva isIlie mUla rUpa se niDaratA kA guNa paccIsa-tIsa sAla kI umra meM bhUta kI khoja karane niklaa| hamArA kAma kaoNnTraikTa kA thA isalie rAta ko nikalate the, to jahA~ bhUta batAte

Page #459
394 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) the, vahIM se hokara jAte the| mUla rUpa se to Dara nahIM thA isalie aisA adhika seTa hotA thaa| praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : mUla rUpa se niddrtaa| mukhya guNa niDaratA thii| kisI kA Dara nahIM, luTere hoM phira bhii| praznakartA : dAdA, abhI jo niDaratA kA guNa hai vaha kauna sA hai, paudgalika guNa hai yA AtmA kA guNa? dAdAzrI : vaha to pudgala kA hI guNa hai| AtmA meM to aisA guNa hotA hI nahIM hai na! mUla rUpa se kSatriya svabhAva, nahIM jhukane kI aadt| praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : lekina jaba samaya AtA hai taba jhukane para majabUra kara detA hai! do dina agara bhUkhA rakhA jAe na, to pUrA hI jhukane lagatA hai| ina saba jaMgalI jAnavaroM ko kisa taraha vaza meM karate haiM ? bhUkhA rakhakara vaza meM karate haiN| aise paramANu bhare hue hote haiM na, lekina mUla rUpa se ksstriy| praznakartA : mUla rUpa se, paramANuoM kI vajaha se aisA AkarSaNa rahatA hai| dAdAzrI : vaise paramANu bhare hue the| bAta sunate hI, koI lalakAre to usameM zUravIratA A jAtI hai| praznakartA : hA~, usameM zUravIratA A jAtI hai jabaki Darapoka ghara meM ghusa jAte haiN| dAdAzrI : hA~, aisA hai| ve haiM kalpanA ke bhUta praznakartA : ApameM aisA Dara nahIM hai, isalie dUsaroM ke Dara nikAlate haiM!

Page #460
[10.6] vividha prakAra ke bhaya ke sAmane... 395 dAdAzrI : agara sahI hai tabhI nikalegA na, nahIM to kaise nikalegA? jisane Dara dekhA hI nahIM hai aura ve sAre Dara galata hI haiM, aisA pramANita ho gayA thA mere saamne| ina bhUtoM kI bAteM bhii| bhUta haiM z2arUra, nahIM haiM aisA nahIM hai lekina bhUta aisA nahIM hotaa| ye jo kalpanA ke bhUta haiM, ve mAra DAlate haiN| anya aura kucha bhI nahIM maartaa| sacamuca ke bhUta to hameM parezAna hI kara dete haiM, tela nikAla deM aura ve isa taraha pratyakSa A~khoM se dikhAI dete haiN| ve bhUta to dina dahAr3e dikhAI dete haiN| koI jAnavara kA rUpa lekara AtA hai, koI manuSya kA rUpa lekara AtA hai, bar3e daitya kA rUpa lekara AtA hai! praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : aura DarA dete haiN| lekina maiMne to ye aise bhUta dekhe the| ve galata the| ye saba mere khuda ke dekhe hue bhUta the| phira DisAiDa kiyA ki ye sabhI bAteM galata haiN| jisa anusAra hamArI kalpanA hotI hai| usI anusAra dikhAI detA hai| kalpanA hai na? praznakartA : kalpanA hai| hA~, isalie bhASA kA prayoga bhI aisA hI huA ki isane bahuta bhUta khar3e kie haiN| dAdAzrI : hA~, basa! ve kalpanA ke bhuut|

Page #461
[10.7] yamarAja ke bhaya ke sAmane zodha yamarAja kI ulTI mAnyatA sirpha hindustAna meM maiM jaba choTA thA, una dinoM gA~va meM kyA calatA thA ki Upara yamarAja hai| jaba iMsAna kI mRtyu kA samaya AtA hai taba yamarAja lene Ate haiM, sabhI jIvoM ko| ye loga kyA mAnate the? parI daniyA nahIM, sirpha hindustAna meM hI ki jaba iMsAna bImAra hotA hai na, to yamarAja usakA jIva (prANa) lene Ate haiN| yamarAja nAma kA jo jaMtu hai vaha saba ko khA jAtA hai| aba pUre hindustAna meM yaha mAnyatA thii| isa mAnyatA ne bahuta bhayaMkara roga ghusA diyA thaa| jabaki pUrI duniyA meM yamarAja ke bagaira cala hI rahA hai na, apane hindustAna meM hI yamarAja! hindustAna ke alAvA bAkI saba logoM kA yamarAja ke binA cala rahA hai aura inheM yamarAja ke bagaira nahIM cltaa| aba anya kisI deza meM yaha bAta hI nahIM hai na ki yamarAja mArate hue lene Ate haiM ! sirpha yahI eka deza aisA hai| yahA~ para yamarAja Ate dasa sAla kI umra meM vicAra Ate the isa ulTI mAnyatA ke sAmane maiMne kahA, 'yamarAja ko bAhara ke loga mAnate haiM yA nahIM mAnate?' dasa-bAraha sAla kI umra meM mujhe ye sAre vicAra Ate the| aba pUre hindustAna meM sabhI logoM meM yamarAja kA bhUta DAla diyA thaa| baMgAla meM, madrAsa meM, kerala meM, eka-eka sTeTa meM ghara-ghara meM loga

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[10.7] yamarAja ke bhaya ke sAmane zodha 397 jAnate haiN| yamarAja ko hara koI pahacAnatA hai, usakA paricaya hI nahIM denA pdd'taa| apane hindustAna ke kauna se kone meM yaha jJAna nahIM phailA huA hogA? praznakartA : sabhI jagaha hai| dAdAzrI : hara eka kone meM, nepAla, bhUTAna vagairaha, sabhI jagaha para hai, evriivher| kauna sA ajJAna phailA huA hai ? yamarAja jIva (prANa) lene Ate haiN| yamarAja kA kAma kyA hai? vaha kyA karane Ate haiM ? praznakartA : hameM Upara pahu~cAne ke lie| dAdAzrI : aura loga yahA~ taka sikhA dete haiM ki jaba iMsAna mara jAtA hai to yamarAja yahA~ se usake prANa le jAte haiM aura hamane jo kucha bhI pApa karma yA galata karma kie hote haiM, to ve rAste meM mArate haiN| mArate-mArate aura bahuta duHkha dete-dete le jAte haiM, bhagavAna ke paas| loga yamarAja ke bAre meM aisA jJAna peza karate the| yAnI ki yaha to marane se pahale hI bhaya ghusa jAtA thaa| are mue, lekina zarIra hI nahIM rahA to vaha mAregA kise? kuttA roe isakA matalaba yamarAja Ae, to usase ghabarA jAte the bacce phira logoM ne kyA kahA ki 'yamarAja ke Ane kA patA kaise calatA hai? usakA niyama kaise patA calatA hai ? taba logoM ne batAyA ki 'agara Apake mAmA bImAra haiM aura kuttA roe, taba to yamarAja A hI gae samajho!' to bolo ghabarA hI jAe~ge na! are bhAI, kutte ro rahe haiM, usameM yamarAja kyoM Ae~ge? aba bacce to becAre sahI hI mAna lete haiM na, mA~-bApa kahate haiM to| khuda ke mA~-bApa vizvAsapAtra kahalAte haiN| mA~-bApa va guru jaisA kaheM vaisA hii| to isa taraha bacce saca mAna lete the aura isalie unheM rAta ko Dara lagatA thaa| phira agara kuttA rotA thA to unake mana meM aisA hI hotA thA ki 'yamarAja Ae haiM, ve mujhe bhI le jAe~ge!' isalie bacapana se hI sabhI bacce Darate the| choTe bacce ko yamarAja

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398 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) se bhaya lagatA thaa| hara iMsAna ko bhaya rahatA thA yamarAja kaa| bacapana se hI ghabarAhaTa-ghabarAhaTa, ghabarAhaTa-ghabarAhaTa hotI rahatI thii| yamarAja ke bAre meM batAyA aura phira usake phoTo bhI chpvaae| DarAvane phoTo banAe yamarAja ke pahale ke z2amAne meM yamarAja ke bar3e-bar3e phoTo bAhara nikAlakara rakhate the| usake bar3e-bar3e dA~ta aura ceharA bhI banAyA, Dara lagatA thA! aba loga bhI phoTo laTakAe bagaira rahate nahIM haiM na! kaliyuga hai to nahIM kareMge kyA? yamarAja ke phoTo banAe logoM ne| ve phoTo dekhe haiM kyA? praznakartA : hA~, dekhe haiM maiNne| phoTo to kaise bhI ho sakate haiM lekina vaha asala to nahIM haiM na! dAdAzrI : aba unake phoTo hamane bacapana meM dekhe the| ye hindustAna deza aura usameM aisA sikhAte haiM to becAre loga Dara-Darakara mara jAte haiN| logoM ko ghabarAhaTa ho jAtI hai becAroM ko| taba phira maiMne socA ki hindustAna kI prajA itanI kamaz2orI kahA~ se ho gaI? teraha sAla kI umra meM mujhe itanA bhaya lagatA thA, to sabhI logoM ko kitanA bhaya lagatA hogA? kitane hI bacce aura loga ghabarA jAte hoMge becAre! maiM bhI ise saca mAnatA thaa| mana meM Dara lagatA thA isalie phira maiM zodha karatA thaa| jise ghabarAhaTa hI nahIM ho vaha zodha kaise karegA? sabhI ko helpa ho isalie rAta kI lI sevA jaba maiM teraha sAla kA thA taba mujha para kyA bItI, vaha batAtA huuN| praznakartA : hA~, btaaie| dAdAzrI : usa samaya hamAre par3osa ke muhalle meM eka par3osI the| ve cAcA hamAre paricita the, to unake sAtha maiM uThatA-baiThatA thaa| cAcA

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[10.7] yamarAja ke bhaya ke sAmane zodha 399 vRddha the aura ve bahuta bImAra the| ve bhI aMtima sthiti meM the aura zarIra chUTane kI taiyAriyA~ thI, to unakI tabiyata bahuta hI kharAba ho gaI thii| ___ isalie bArI-bArI se rAta ko vahA~ saba so jAte the, unheM davAI vagairaha dene ke lie| AsapAsa vAle sabhI loga jAgate the, rAta ko unake pAsa baiThate the sabhI, aura rAta ko vahA~ so jAte the| isa taraha z2arA helpa karate the| unakI sevA meM maiM baiThA rahatA thaa| dUsare bar3I umra vAle loga sevA karate the lekina maiM jitanA ho sake utanI sevA karatA thaa| paira dabAtA thA, pairoM para hAtha pheratA rahatA thaa| vahA~ para sabhI loga dekhane Ate the| maiM vahA~ baiThatA thaa| eka bAra ravivAra ke dina kisI eka ghara meM se loga vahA~ nahIM A sake the| saba loga yoM hI thake hue baiThe the| taba maiMne saba se kahA ki 'bhAI Aja ravivAra hai aura merI chuTTI hai| maiM cAcA ke sAtha bailuuNgaa| Aja Apa saba yahA~ para mata soIegA, maiM so jAU~gA cAcA ke paas| Apa saba ghara jAkara so jAo, rAta ko maiM inheM davAI de duuNgaa| maiM cAcA kI sevA meM rhuuNgaa'| taba unhoMne pUchA, 'tU pUrI rAta so pAegA?' maiMne kahA, 'haaN| rAta ko agara nIMda AegI to phira so bhI jAU~gA lekina maiM thor3I dera, bAraha-eka baje taka bailUMgA tAki cAcA ko ThIka lge'| taba saba ne kahA, 'ThIka hai'| kutte ko rote dekhakara huA bhrama, 'yamarAja Ae' taba saba loga sone cale gae aura maiM vahIM raha gyaa| usake bAda cAcA ko davAI dI aura maiM baiThA rhaa| cAcA jarA ArAma karane lge| taba dasa, sAr3he dasa baje hoMge to cAcA kI to A~kheM miMca giiN| cAcA to so gae ArAma se davAI pIkara aura maiM to jAga rahA thaa| aba javAna lar3akA kitanI dera taka jAga sakatA thA? isalie gyAraha baje mujhe nIMda Ane lagI, taba bhI maiM to rAta ke bAraha baje taka baiThA rhaa| phira maiMne sone kA prayatna kiyaa| sone kI taiyArI kara rahA thA tabhI kisI jagaha eka kuttA royA, bahuta duur| kuttA khUba royaa| to maiMne vaha sunaa|

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400 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) usa bAre meM nahIM sunA hotA to koI parezAnI nahIM hotI lekina maiMne sunA thA to mere mana meM aisA lagA ki 'yamarAja Ae hoMge! yaha to kuttA royA!' sune hue va zraddhA vAle jJAna se parezAnI taba maiMne jJAna sunA huA thaa| logoM ne mujhe jJAna batAyA thaa| mujhase kyA kahA thA? jaba kuttA rotA hai taba samajhanA ki yahA~ para yamarAja Ae haiN| are! kuttA roegA nahIM kyA becArA? loga kahate haiM, 'jaba kuttA o-o karake rotA hai na, taba samajhanA ki yamarAja AsapAsa hI ghUma rahe haiN| kutte ko patA calatA hai| kutte ko dikhAI detA hai!' ataH mujhe yaha jJAna milA thaa| kyA jJAna milA thA ki jaba yamarAja lene Ate haiM, taba usake lakSaNa kyA hote haiM jinase patA cale ki ye A gae haiM ? to kahate haiM, 'kuttA roe to pakkA samajhanA ki taba yamarAja lene Ae haiN'| jJAna to loga dete hI haiN| are, Apane agara yaha jJAna nahIM diyA hotA to kyA nukasAna thA? aisA jJAna nahIM diyA hotA to kyA logoM ko koI parezAnI thI? praznakartA : thor3A Dara rakhane ke lie| dAdAzrI : to maiMne vaha jJAna sunA taba phira usa ghar3I mana meM kucha hotA hai yA nahIM? ataH vaha jJAna hAz2ira ho gyaa| aba sunA huA jJAna to parezAna karatA hai| yadi nahIM jAnA hotA to koI parezAnI nahIM thii| kyA jAnA? praznakartA : kuttA rotA hai, taba yamarAja Ate haiN| dAdAzrI : yaha jJAna nahIM jAnA hotA to mujhe duHkha hI nahIM hotA lekina maiM yaha to jJAna jAnakara AyA thA, aise akla vAloM se| ye akla ke bore haiM na, inase maiMne jJAna jaanaa| sunA huA jJAna to asara DAle binA rahatA hI nahIM hai n| maiMne jJAna sunA, usameM koI harja nahIM thA, lekina sune hue jJAna para

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[10.7] yamarAja ke bhaya ke sAmane zodha 401 zraddhA baiTha gaI mujhe| yadi zraddhA nahIM baiThI hotI to koI parezAnI nahIM thii| zraddhA nahIM baiThatI to koI asara nahIM hotaa| ataH mujhe jaba yAda AyA ki ye saba kaha rahe the ki jaba kuttA rotA hai taba yamarAja Ate haiN| kuttA royA, yaha jJAna usase milatA-julatA hai! cAcA ko to le jAe~ge lekina mujhe kyA kareMge usakA Dara thA phira mujhe vahama ho gayA ki Aja vAstava meM yahA~ kahIM para yamarAja A gae haiN| abhI to ye mare nahIM haiM bImAra hI hue haiM to unheM lene Ae~ge yA jo svastha hai use? bImAra kI sevA meM baiThA thA aura usa tarapha kuttA royaa| maiMne kahA, 'are, A gayA yaha to'| cAcA to so gae haiM becAre, lekina yaha iMsAna cAcA ko le jaaegaa| Aja subaha hI aisA lagA thA mujhe| kyA lagA? isalie aMdara yaha dakhala hone lagI ki, 'ina cAcA ko subaha taka le jaaeNge| yahA~ taka Ae haiM to ina cAcA ko lie bagaira jAe~ge nhiiN'| ye subaha cale jaaeNge'|aur ve cAcA hamAre riztedAra the, isalie mujhe ciMtA hone lgii| bolo! kyA-kyA nahIM huA hogA mujhe ? praznakartA : sabhI huA hogA na! dAdAzrI : phira mujhe mana meM aisA lagA ki 'yamarAja cAcA ko lene Ae~ to hameM kyA kareMge? hama usa kSaNa kyA kareMge?' ata: mujhe vaisI ghabarAhaTa ho gii| Dara ghusa gayA ki hameM bhI eka lagAtA huA jaaegaa| aba maiM to kama umra vAlA baccA thA, teraha sAla kA, to phira Dara lagatA na, yamarAja kA? are! bar3e-bar3e dA~ta dikhAtA hai, to vaha agara hameM z2arA sI eka capata lagA degA to hamArI kyA dazA hogI? bhaya ke jJAna ke sAmane dUsarA jJAna seTa kiyA jAe tabhI bhaya jAtA hai aba bhaya nikale kisa taraha se? jaba taka isa jJAna ke sAmane dUsarA koI jJAna nahIM Ae taba taka yaha bhaya nahIM nikala sktaa| jisa jJAna se bhaya huA jaba taka usakA virodhI jJAna na ho taba taka bhaya nahIM

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402 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) nikltaa| aba cAcA ko chor3akara maiM jA bhI nahIM sakatA thA! anya koI thA bhI nhiiN| cAcA ko mujhe sauMpakara saba so gae the isalie sacamuca parezAnI meM par3a gayA! yaha parezAnI A gaI vApasa! praznakartA : Apa musIbata meM pha~sa ge| dAdAzrI : taba merI hAlata to kharAba hI ho jAtI na? aura phira mujhe nIMda nahIM aaii| bhaya ghusane para nIMda na jAne kahA~ ur3a jAtI hai ! choTA baccA thA isalie ghabarA gayA, phira nIMda A sakatI thI kyA? to nIMda bhI nahIM AI mujhe rAta bhara / taba to kama umra thI phira bhI nIMda nahIM AI mujhe, nIMda-vIMda saba ur3a gii| maiMne yamarAja kI rAha dekhI, 'hA~ abhI lene Ae~ge, abhI lene Ae~ge, abhI lene Ae~ge, abhI lene aaeNge'| maiM z2arA z2yAdA jAgRta thA na, usI vajaha se parezAnI thI! Dhebare jaise loga hote haiM na, ve to ubAsI lekara so jAte haiN| mujhe to pUrI rAta nIMda nahIM aaii| sensiTiva iMsAna! kyA ho sakatA thA aba? to subaha pA~ca baja gae phira bhI nIMda nahIM aaii| subaha cAcA sahI salAmata the, phira vaha bAta lagI khokhalI __to mujhe pUrI rAta parezAnI rahI aura cAcA gaharI nIMda so rahe the, "jinake lie maiM ciMtA kara rahA hU~, ve so gae aura maiM jaagaa'| phira thakakara subaha kucha dera bAda so gayA aura phira ekadama jhaTake se uThA, taba cAcA the, vahIM ke vahIM the, vaise ke vaise hI the| cAcA bhI the aura maiM bhI thaa| cAcA vahI ke vahI aura maiM bhI vahI kA vhii| subaha taka yamarAja nahIM Ae aura koI yamarAja cAcA ko nahIM le gyaa| koI bApa bhI nahIM le gyaa| subaha to cAcA jAge, utthe| ve baiTha gae ArAma se! maiMne kahA, 'hAya hAya! yaha saba to galata hai| saba khokhalA laga rahA hai| mujhe usa yamarAja para bhI gussA A gyaa| zurU kI jA~ca, yamarAja kI bAta sahI hai yA galata! phira jaba subaha huI to saba Ane lge| cha: baje saba Ae taba

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[10.7] yamarAja ke bhaya ke sAmane zodha 403 maiMne kahA, 'yamarAja Akara cale ge| yamarAja Ae the lekina cAcA ko lekara nahIM gae isalie mujhe yaha yamarAja kI bAta galata lagatI hai| yadi ve yahA~ taka Ae to vApasa kyoM cale gae? hamane kisI ne unheM manA nahIM kiyA thA, to unheM kisase Dara lagA?' to mana meM vahama ho gayA ki ye loga galata bAta karate haiM! yamarAja kaise ho sakate haiM ? yahA~ taka Akara ve vApasa nahIM jA sakate, isalie yaha bAta galata hai| kisI ne yaha mithyA bAta DAla dI hai! yaha to bhAI mithyA hI lagatI hai! loga aMdhAdhuMdha bolate haiM, kyA hai? isalie phira maiMne to jA~ca karanA zurU kiyA, teraha sAla kI umra meM isa bAta ke pIche par3a gayA ki yamarAja nAma kA koI jIva sacamuca meM hai yA yaha galata hai ? usakI patnI, usake koI bacce-vacce hoMge yA vaha zAdI kie bagaira ku~vArA hI hogA? lAo na, patA to lagAne do ki yaha bAta sahI hai yA glt| yamarAja vAstava meM phekTa (sahI) hai yA z2abaradastI logoM dvArA ghusAI huI bAta hai? duniyA kI nahIM sune, aisA pAgala ahaMkAra taba maiMne socA ki, 'aba maiM yamarAja ko DhU~Dha hI nikaaluuNgaa| aba isakA nIce se lekara Upara taka kA saba DhU~Dha nikaalo| ise pakar3o, isa pola ko khola do'| phira bahuta jA~ca kii| mUla rUpa se isa tarapha kA svabhAva bahuta sakhta thaa| hama to mUla rUpa se kSatriya the na phira, kSatriya ke yahA~ janma huA thA n| jo-jo bAta galata ho, usake pIche par3ane kI Adata par3a gaI thii| merA ahaMkAra to pAgala thA, kaisA thA? praznakartA : pAgala ahNkaar| dAdAzrI :hA~, duniyA kI sunatA hI nahIM thaa| hamane duniyA kI nahIM sunii| jo duniyA kI sune vaha samajhadAra ahaMkAra kahalAtA hai| duniyA kI sune, jo duniyA ke sAtha hila-milakara cale, vaha samajhadAra ahaMkAra kahalAtA hai jabaki merA ahaMkAra to pAgala thaa| sAmanA karU~gA lekina logoM ko duHkha nahIM rahanA cAhie aise galata bhaya nahIM the, isalie phira sAmanA kiyaa| sabhI zAstra chAna

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jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) maare| yaha yamarAja kauna hai ? use jo karanA ho kare lekina maiM usakA sAmanA kruuNgaa| logoM ko yaha duHkha nahIM rahanA cAhie / kitanA Dara hai becAroM ko ! 404 maiM jaba muzkila meM pha~sa jAU~ na, taba maiM isa saMsAra ke vibhAjana ko tor3a-phor3a dU~, to teraha sAla kI umra meM muzkila meM par3a gayA thaa| T maiM paMDitoM se pUcha AyA / ki 'yamarAja nAma kA yaha jIva kahA~ se AyA bApa jI ?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'Apa nahIM samajhoge, bolanA mata' / maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, mujhe usakA virodha karanA hai, jo honA ho, vaha ho / maiM to bhagavAna ko bhI DA~Ta dU~, aisA iMsAna hU~' / merA svabhAva krAMtikArI hai, logoM kA sAmanA karane kA ! lekina bAta kA niber3A lA detA huuN| to una brAhmaNoM se pUchA to unhoMne kahA, ki 'aisA nahIM bolanA cAhie, varnA yamarAja tujhe ghera leNge'| maiMne kahA, 'Apako ghera leMge' / taba calI z2abaradasta vicAra zraMkhalA maiMne kahA, 'yadi yamarAja haiM to unakI tanakhvAha kauna detA hai ? tanakhvAha to denI par3egI na / unake kAma ke evaz2a meM ? nahIM denI par3egI ? unheM pemenTa kauna karatA hogA ? unakI tanakhvAha kitanI hogI?' to kahA, 'vaha maiM nahIM janatA / kahIM ve tanakhvAha lete hoMge ?' to binA tanakhvAha ke koI kAma nahIM karatA, yamarAja ho yA yamarAja kA bApa, phira bhI / tanakhvAha ke binA to koI mahenata nahIM karatA / kauna karegA mahenata ? phira maiM itanI soca meM par3a gayA ki 'itanA bar3A yamarAja ! itane sAre loga mara jAte haiM, unheM uThAkara le jAte haiM to unakI tanakhvAha kauna cukAtA hogA ? aura tanakhvAha DaoNlara meM dete hoMge yA rupae meM ? unakI tanakhvAha kA pemenTa kahA~ se hotA hai ? kauna se baiMka kA ceka hotA hai ? kauna se baiMka meM ceka bhunAte haiM ?' mujhe sAre vicAra sUjhane lage / phira mujhe soca meM DAla diyA ki 'yaha muA jIva lene vAlA naukara hai yA seTha ? yadi yamarAja hai to usakA UparI (baoNsa) kauna hai ? usakA koI heDa hogA na? yaha heDa oNphisa kauna calAtA hai ? vaha oNphisa kisakA hai?' Apane kabhI aisA socA hai ?

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[10.7] yamarAja ke bhaya ke sAmane zodha 405 socate-socate mujhe aisA lagA ki 'bhagavAna kA koI oNphisa honA cAhie lekina vaha oNphisa kahA~ banAyA hai bhagavAna ne? heDa oNphisa kahA~ para hai ? yadi yamarAja jaisA eka naukara itanA kAma karatA hai to unakA oNphisa kitanA bar3A hogA? to bhagavAna kitane bar3e hoMge? unakI kamAI kahA~ se hotI hogI? unakA revenyu (Aya) kahA~ se AtA hogA? bhagavAna kA revenyU hogA tabhI unheM tanakhvAha dete haiM na! agara koI inkama hogI tabhI tanakhvAha dete haiM na! bhagavAna yaha revenyU kaise kalekTa karate hoMge? isake pIche kyA hogA yaha saba?' phira aise karate-karate pUrI bAta Age calI, 'to bhagavAna kyA karate hoMge? bhagavAna kI zAdI ho gaI hogI yA ku~vAre haiM? vidhura haiM? ina saba ko patnI mila gaI phira kyA bhagavAna ko patnI nahIM milI? agara milI hai to bhagavAna kI sAsa kauna haiM ? sasura kauna haiM ?' yaha saba mujhe vistAra pUrvaka btaao| aisI saba jA~ca kii| taba koI bhI javAba nahIM de skaa| eka saMta puruSa the, ve bhI javAba nahIM de ske| ina sabhI bAtoM para to mujhe bahuta hI vicAra Ate the| eka vicAra para se bahuta se vicAra, vicAra, vicAra Ate the isalie phira maiM kanphyUz2a ho jAtA thaa| maiM samajhatA thA ki yaha saba ulajhana hai, saba galata hai, yaha saba mithyA hai| phira unake bAre meM bahuta socate-socate aMta taka vicAra ulajhe hue hI rhe| isa taraha umra bar3hatI gaI, aura isa taraha socate-socate aisA lagA ki yamarAja nAma kA koI jIva thA hI nhiiN| bahuta hI maMthana karane lage isalie aMdara usa tarapha kI zraddhA khatma ho gaI, yamarAja nAma kii| yAnI ki usI dina mujha meM aise vicAra jAge the| kiyA jAhira, 'yamarAja nAma kA koI jIva hai hI nahIM' aMta meM paccIsa sAla kI umra meM maiMne DhUMDha nikAlA ki yamarAja nAma kA jIva hai hI nhiiN| jA~ca kiyA taba yaha saba gappa niklii| to khoja karane ke bAda hI ise chodd'aa| yamarAja nAma kA koI deva hai hI nahIM, yaha saba bogasa hI hai, bAta hI galata hai bilkul| sau pratizata galata bAta hai, eka pratizata bhI sahI nahIM hai|

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jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) yamarAja ke lie maiMne itanI khoja kI, jA~ca karake aba sabhI ko batA diyA ki yamarAja nAma kA koI jIva hai hI nahIM / ye loga to binA samajhe aMdhAdhuMdha bolate haiM ki, 'yamarAja aisA karate haiM aura phalAnA karate 406 haiN'| I kisI ne yamarAja nAma kA galata bhUta DAla diyA hai / koI yamarAja lene AtA lekina yamarAja jaisA koI hai hI nahIM / yamarAja kA koI astitva hI nahIM hai, aisA koI janmA hI nahIM hai / yaha to sirpha tUphAna hI hai| Apako ulTe rAste para le gae hai| aMdara saba galata phailAyA huA hai, aura agara hai to hameM abhI hI le jAe / isalie phira maiMne pustaka meM sApha-sApha likhA hai ki 'yamarAja nAma kA jIva nahIM hai, isa bAta kI gAranTI detA huuN'| yamarAja ke galata bhaya se mAra diyA hindustAna ko logoM ko bhayabhIta karake mAra diyaa| loga kucha kama nahIM haiM, ye apane purakhe ! pUre hindustAna meM galata vahama DAla die the aura binA bAta kA bhaya! bhaya se trasta ho gayA hai pUrA hindustAna ! muslima nahIM Darate, krizciyana nahIM Darate, sirpha ina logoM meM hI ghusa gayA hai bhUta / are ghanacakkara! kyoM logoM meM bhaya kA sAmrAjya phailA rahe ho ! gappa lagAI hai hindustAna ke logoM ne / aisI saba bAtoM meM logoM kA vizvAsa mata krnaa| bhAI! yaha galata Dara hai, nikAla denA / maiMne logoM se kahA ki 'are! zAMti se khAo - pIo, maz2e karo / jAo, jokhima apane sira para letA hU~ / jaise Izvara kI bAtoM meM khoja kI hai, yaha saba bhI maiM khuda dekhakara batA rahA huuN| maiM yaha trikAla satya bAta batA rahA hU~ / mere pIche isa bAta ko koI kATane vAlA nahIM milegA, maiM aisI bAta batA rahA hU~ ki yamarAja nAma kA koI jIva thA hI nhiiN'| ni-yamarAja, bana gayA yamarAja usake bAda phira loga kahate haiM, 'lekina aisA bilkula galata to

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[10.7] yamarAja ke bhaya ke sAmane zodha 407 kaise kaha sakate haiM ? yoM gappa to nahIM ho sakatI na? isake mUla meM kucha to hogA hI na?' yamarAja ke sthAna para kauna hai? praznakartA : karma kA phala ho sakatA hai| dAdAzrI : haaN| vahI kahalAtA hai karmaphala lekina usakA kaMTrolara to honA cAhie na yahA~? loga kyA kahate haiM ? 'agara yamarAja nahIM hai to usake bajAya koI to hogA na? tabhI le jAtA hai na! iMsAna mara jAtA hai taba, yamarAja to honA cAhie na? yamarAja ke binA to kaise calegA? yadi yamarAja nahIM haiM to vAstava meM kyA hai ?' phira loga khulAsA to mA~geMge na? lekina vAstava meM kyA hai? vaha niyamarAja hai| kyA hai? praznakartA : niymraaj| dAdAzrI : mukhya bAta Apako batA detA huuN| yaha niyamarAja thA usakA ina logoM ne 'ni' nikAlakara yamarAja kara diyaa| vAstava meM niyamarAja hai| aba usake bajAya yamarAja kahate haiN| to bolo, loga becAre ulajha hI jAeMge na! yamarAja aura niyamarAja meM pharka hai yA nahIM? kyA yamarAja aura niyamarAja meM pharka nahIM hai? praznakartA : bahuta pharka hai| niyamarAja se nahIM lagegA bhaya dAdAzrI : jagat ko niyama hI calAtA hai, aura koI calAne vAlA nahIM hai| koI niyama hai| isa niyama ke adhIna hI yaha saMsAra hai| yamarAja ke adhIna nahIM hai| yamarAja ke adhIna nahIM hai| yaha niyamarAja ke adhIna hai| kisake adhIna hai? praznakartA : niymraaj| dAdAzrI : niyamarAja arthAt eka taraha kA vyavasthita, yaha saba niyama se hI cala rahA hai| aba isameM kyA koI isa taraha zikAyata karegA?

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408 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA : nhiiN| dAdAzrI : aba Apa batAo, kyA niyamarAja koI bhayabhIta hone jaisI cIz2a hai? z2arA sA bhI Darane jaisA hai isameM kucha ? aba niyamarAja se Dara lagegA? praznakartA : nahIM lgegaa| dAdAzrI : iMsAna niyama se maratA hai| niyamarAja le jAte haiM, usameM kyA bhayabhIta hone jaisI koI cIz2a hai? niyama se janma liyA hai aura niyama se marate haiM aura vyavasthita ke tAbe meM haiN| aba kyA niyamarAja ko tanakhvAha denI par3egI? niyama se subaha hotI hai, niyama se rAta par3atI hai| niyamarAja Apako samajha meM AyA? niyama hI le jAtA hai| praznakartA : aba isakA hisAba kauna rakhatA hai? dAdAzrI : kudarata kA hisAba aisA hai ki isakA hisAba niyama hI rakhatA hai| niyamarAja arthAt kudarata ke niyama ke anusAra hI calatA hai usameM, bIca meM bhagavAna kI koI z2arUrata nahIM hai| Apa vyavasthita ko jAnate ho na? vyavasthita hI karatA hai na yaha saba? aba isameM kahIM marane kA rahA? ataH vahA~ rAste meM koI kaSTa-vaSTa nahIM detaa| koI hai hI nahIM, koI bApa bhI nahIM hai vahA~ pr| yamarAja kyA vahA~ mArate-mArate le jAte maiMne kahA, 'koI bhayabhIta mata honaa| koI lene nahIM AegA, niyamarAja hai| yaha Apako acchA lagegA?' taba kahA, 'yaha to bahuta acchA hai| taba to bhaya nahIM lagegA, niyamarAja hai isiilie'| loga samajhate haiM ki yaha niyamarAja hai, aba harja nahIM hai| niyamarAja ko pahacAne Apa? yadi niyamarAja kaheMge to kitanI ghabarAhaTa hogI? niyamarAja kahane se spaSTa samajha meM A jaaegaa| una saba kI ghabarAhaTa khatma ho jaaegii| hama yaha sArA kacarA nikAla dete haiN| isa niyamarAja kI jagaha para yamarAja zabda rakhakara logoM kA tela

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[10.7] yamarAja ke bhaya ke sAmane zodha nikAla diyA ! to bhAI aise kyoM mAra diyA ? logoM se kaha do na, ki aMta meM to niyamarAja haiM, yamarAja zabda kyoM DAla diyA ? aba pahale se niyamarAja kahA hotA to kyA koI parezAnI thI ? 409 hetu pApa karane se rokane kA praznakartA : nahIM, to isa taraha yamarAja kA galata bhaya kyoM ghusAyA hogA pahale ke logoM ne ? dAdAzrI : yamarAja kA bhaya kyoM dikhAte the loga ? to kyA pahale yamarAja kahane vAle loga pAgala the ? pAgala nahIM the / niyamarAja ke bajAya yamarAja kyoM rakhA una logoM ne ? duHkhI karane ke lie nahIM, mUla hetu kharAba nahIM thA ye| jo loga corI - luccApana karane se nahIM Darate the, ve jaba pApa karate the taba loga kyA kahate the ? ye brAhmaNa kyA karate the ? 'jaba tU maregA na, to yamarAja Ae~ge aura tujhe yoM mArate-mArate vahA~ le jaaeNge'| usake mana meM bhaya DAla do, tAki vaha galata karma kama bA~dhe / yAnI ki dabAva DAlane ke lie logoM se yaha kahA thA / praznakartA : maryAdA meM rakhane ke lie| dAdAzrI : ve aisA samajhate haiM ki, 'yaha pablika jo bhI galata kAma karatI hai na, to agara hama yamarAja kA nAma DAla deMge to ve galata kAma karane se ruka jAe~ge' / hA~, ataH vaha kucha samaya taka claa| kucha lAbha rahA lekina bAda meM usase nukasAna ho gyaa| kabhI bhI galata cIz2a se lAbha nahIM lenA caahie| ye sAre rUpaka ulTe par3e / aba yadi una rUpakoM ko nahIM samajheMge to iMsAna kA kyA hogA ? pApa kama nahIM hue aura yamarAja raha gae aisA karane se logoM ke pApa kama nahIM hue aura yamarAja raha ge| ulTA DAlA to galata kAma to calate rahe aura yaha bhI calatA rhaa| galata kAma to jArI rahe aura yaha bhI jArI rahA / yadi pApa kama hue hote to maiM samajhatA ki yaha diyA huA rUpaka kAma meM AyA / pApa bar3he aura

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410 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) yamarAja raha ge| bhaya bhI calatA rahA aura yaha bhI calatA rhaa| galata jJAna kaba taka helpa karegA? helpa nahIM kregaa| isa taraha se galata dikhAne kA artha hI nahIM hai, usakI bajAya jaisA hai vaisA batA do na! aura sikhAo ki aisI javAbadehI kisa cIz2a se AtI hai! praznakartA : lekina usake pIche Azaya to zubha hai na? galata kAma se DareM, aisA Azaya hai yAnI ki zubha Azaya hai na? / dAdAzrI : zubha Azaya aisA nahIM hotaa| zubha Azaya aisA hotA hai ki jo pA~ca-dasa pratizata hI nukasAna kare, jabaki yahA~ picyAnave pratizata nukasAna kara rahA hai ! ise to pakar3akara bulAnA caahie| kisane khar3A kiyA yaha tUphAna? praznakartA : usakA udbhava sthAna milanA muzkila hai| dAdAzrI : are aisA tUphAna khar3A karane vAlA nahIM milegA lekina yamarAja to hai na? kyA yamarAja bhAga gayA hai? pUrI duniyA ke bhUta nikAlane AyA hU~ yaha samajha meM A rahA hai na? binA bAta ke itane sAre bhUta DAla die haiM ! yaha galata DAla diyA hai aapne| praznakartA : galata hI hai| dAdAzrI : isalie phira maiMne yamarAja ko Disamisa krvaayaa| maiMne isa galata trAsa se saba ko nikAla diyA, isa vijJAna dvArA / maiM pUrI duniyA ke bhUta nikAlane AyA huuN| maiMne ve nikAlane zurU kara die haiN| praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : isase, ve jo purAne gaddI vAle haiM na, unheM bahuta virodha rahatA hai ki, 'ye dAdA hamArI gaddI khatma kara rahe haiM, sArI aamdnii'| kyoMki logoM ke vicAra badala jAe~ge na, loga svataMtra ho jAe~ge na! jaba taka loga ulajhe raheMge na, taba taka ina logoM ko paise milate rheNge| yadi ulajhana nahIM rahegI to phira kauna jAegA vahA~ ?

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[10.7] yamarAja ke bhaya ke sAmane zodha eka-eka zabda apUrva, isIlie chuTakArA hotA hai praznakartA : ThIka hai, eka nayA vicAra milA / 411 I dAdAzrI : hamArA eka-eka zabda nayA, apUrva hotA hai / aisA, jo pahale kabhI sunA na ho, par3hA na ho, jAnA na ho aura tabhI chuTakArA hotA hai, niber3A AtA hai| varnA isa ulajhana kA kaba aMta Ae ? jahA~ para loga aisA hI kahate haiM ki, 'are kuttA royA, yamarAja Ae !' yaha kabhI mela khAegA kyA? kauna se niyama se aisA bolate haiM ki agara kuttA royA to yamarAja Ae haiM? to maiM ina sabhI bAtoM kI spaSTatA karane AyA hU~ / aba yaha saba Dimoliza kro| yaha niyamarAja ThIka se samajha meM A gayA hai Apako ? yaha saba niyamarAja kI vajaha se haiM, bhagavAna ne ise nahIM banAyA hai| gaoNDa iz2a ina evarI krIcara (bhagavAna hara eka jIva meM haiM) bhagavAna ko, ve jaise haiM vaise jaano| gaoNDa iz2a naoNTa krieTara oNpha disa varlDa eTa oNla (bhagavAna isa duniyA ke racayitA nahIM haiM ), onalI sAinTiphika sarakamasTenziyala eviDensa (mAtra vaijJAnika saMyogika pramANa) haiM ! maiM yaha dekhakara batA rahA hU~, kisI zAstra kI bAta nahIM kara rahA hU~ / dekhI huI bAta acchI hai yA zAstra kI bAta acchI ? praznakartA: dekhI huI / dAdAzrI : haM... zAstra meM to na jAne kitane parivartana ho gae haiM usakA kyA patA cale ?

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[10.8] bhagavAna ke bAre meM maulika samajha sacce dila vAlA thA isalie bhagavAna ko bhI DA~TatA thA saMsAra to baMdhana hI hai, mujhe to kama umra se hI yaha baMdhana lagane lagA thaa| mujhe to teraha sAla kI umra meM bhI yaha baMdhana lagatA thaa| duHkha nahIM thA phira bhI baMdhana lagatA rahatA thaa| praznakartA : kisa paribala ke AdhAra para yaha Apako baMdhana lagatA thA? dAdAzrI : agara Apako merI lAipha jAnanI hai to kucha bAta karU~ ki jaba maiM choTA thA tabhI se mujhe isa duniyA kI parataMtratA acchI nahIM lagatI thI, kisI bhI vyakti kii| mujhe UparI pasaMda hI nahIM thaa| vaha bahuta bar3A duHkha thA! maiM kisI bhI UparI ko cunane ke lie taiyAra nahIM thaa| manuSyoM ke Upara koI UparI honA hI nahIM caahie| yadi apane Upara UparI (baoNsa) ho to kitanI paravazatA rahatI hai| jaba se teraha sAla kA thA tabhI se merA bhagavAna ke sAtha jhagar3A thaa| maiM bacapana se hI bhagavAna ko DA~TatA thA kyoMki bhagavAna kI tarapha maiM sacce dila vAlA thA aura kucha bhI nahIM, kapaTa-vapaTa nhiiN| sAdhu saMtoM kI sevA karanA bahuta acchA lagatA thA praznakartA : Apane terahaveM sAla meM kisa taraha se DhU~DhA ki merA koI UparI nahIM hai? dAdAzrI : hA~, maiM jaba teraha sAla kA thA taba hamAre gA~va meM, bhAdaraNa

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[10.8] bhagavAna ke bAre meM maulika samajha 413 meM bhagavA kapar3e vAle eka-do sAdhu Ate the| hindustAnI the, uttara pradeza, paMjAba tarapha ke| unameM eka vedAMtI puruSa the| loga unheM jJAnI jI mahArAja kahate the| ve aMdhe the aura bahuta vRddha the| yoM bahuta AnaMdI aura acche the, hRdaya ke bhole iMsAna the| lar3akoM ne batAyA ki, 'aMdhe mahArAja haiM aura bahuta acche haiM,' isalie merI icchA huI ki 'lAo, maiM jA AtA huuN'| to jaba bhI skUla se samaya milatA thA to phira maiM vahA~, saMta puruSa kA Azrama jaisA thA, vahA~ darzana karane jAtA thaa| hamArA janma to vaiSNava kula meM huA thA isalie bhagavA vastra dhArI sanyAsI ke darzana karane jAte the| jaina yA aisA kucha nahIM thA mana meM, jo ho so| mujhe lagA ki mahArAja bahuta sApha haiM, ni:spRhI haiN| to saba lar3ake unake paira dabAte the to maiM bhI paira dabAne lagA, sabhI ko dekhakara, hetu samajhe bgair| phira bApa jI to bola uThe, 'bacce, terA nAma kyA hai?' maiMne kahA, 'aNbaalaal'| taba unhoMne kahA, 'acchaa'| phira maiM roz2a mahArAja kI sevA karane, paira kI campI karane, paira dabAne ke lie roz2a jAtA thaa| skUla se chUTakara cupacApa ghaMTe-Adhe ghNtte| unheM z2arA masAja (mAliza) kara detA thaa| mujhe vaha acchA lagatA thaa| __maiM paira dabAne kyoM jAtA thA? taba kahA, 'aMdhe hone ke bAvajUda bhI, jaba bhI maiM jAtA thA aura kahatA thA ki 'bApa jI, jaya rAma jI' taba ve aisA pUchate the, 'kauna? aMbAlAla!' ve zabdoM para se pahacAna jAte the isalie mujhe bahuta Azcarya hotA thA ki 'ye mahArAja acche haiN| phira mahArAja se kahatA thA ki 'maiM thor3I khIra banAkara lAU~gA, Apa khAnA' / to ve kahate the, 'khaaeNge'| bA se kahatA thA to ve banA detI thiiN| maiM thor3I khIra aura pUr3iyA~ banAkara de AtA thA, aisA kucha de AtA thaa| kabhI laDDU banAe hoM to de AtA thaa| kabhI-kabhI, roz2a nhiiN| isalie ve bahuta khuza ho ge|

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414 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) 'bhagavAna mokSa le jAe~ge' sunakara huA manomaMthana phira eka dina unhoMne mujhase kahA, 'baccA, bhagavAna tumako mokSa meM le jaaegaa| tU mere paira dabAtA hai, sevA karatA hai, bhagavAna tujhe mokSa meM le jaaeNge'| mahArAja kA yaha vAkya mujhe ThIka nahIM lgaa| taba vaha mujhe bahuta khaTakA, mere dimAga meN| turaMta aMdara dimAg2a phaTane lagA ki bhagavAna mujhe mokSa meM le jAe~ge? aisA phira kauna hai vaha bhalA?' maiMne kahA, 'sAhaba, ApakI sevA karane ke phalasvarUpa mujhe bhagavAna mokSa le jAe~ge, to yaha bAta na kareM to mujhe acchA lgegaa| yaha bAta mujhe rAsa nahIM aaii| mujhe pasaMda nahIM hai| bApa jI, aba phira se aisA mata kahanA, nahIM to phira nahIM aauuNgaa'| 'mujhe ApakI sevA karane do, Apa mere bhagavAna ho| mujhe mokSa meM le jAne vAle bhagavAna nahIM caahie| mujhe bIca meM aise bhagavAna kI z2arUrata nahIM hai, mujhe ApakI hI z2arUrata hai| yadi bhagavAna mujhe mokSa meM le jAe~ge to mujhe isa taraha ke mokSa meM nahIM jAnA hai| aisA mokSa mujhe nahIM caahie| vaha mujhe nahIM pusaaegaa| Apako le jAnA ho to maiM taiyAra hU~', aisA kahA to unheM Azcarya huaa| unake mana meM aisA thA ki 'yaha baccA hai, isalie samajhatA nahIM hai!' unhoMne mujhase kahA, 'tujhe dhIre-dhIre samajha meM A jaaegaa'| jaba gujarAtI meM aisA kahA, taba maiMne kahA, 'acchaa| ThIka hai sAhaba,' lekina mujhe to bar3e-bar3e vicAra Ae ki, 'yadi bhagavAna mokSa meM le jAe~ge to unakA upakAra nahIM bhUla pAe~ge!' Apane z2arA itanI sI hI cAya pilAI ho to upakAra nahIM bhUlate, to jo mokSa meM le jAe~ge to unakA upakAra to bhUla hI nahIM pAe~ge unakA kitanA upakAra mAnanA pdd'egaa| jahA~ bhagavAna UparI hoM, aisA mokSa nahIM cAhie bhagavAna mujhe mokSa meM le jAe~ge to maiM unakA upakAra kaba cukAU~gA? taba bhagavAna to mere UparI hI rahe na! taba to unake oblAijiMga (upakAra) ke tale hI rhe| bhagavAna hameM le jAe~ge to jo le jAegA usakA hameM upakAra to mAnanA par3egA na? maiMne kahA, 'mujhe aisA

Page #480
[10.8] bhagavAna ke bAre meM maulika samajha mokSa nahIM caahie| mujhe to aisA mokSa cAhie jisameM koI UparI na ho / mujhe oNbligezana nahIM caahie| ve mujhe apane mokSa meM le jAe~ge to mujha para unakA upakAra rahegA, usase to bojha rhegaa| jina bhagavAna ne isa jagat ko krieTa kiyA hai aura jinhoMne isa jagat meM hameM banAyA unakA upakAra kyA kabhI bhUla sakate haiM ? isalie usase apanA mokSa nahIM hogA aura agara bhagavAna mujhe mokSa meM le jAe~ge to phira ve hamAre UparI to rahe hI n| jahA~ UparI hai vaha mokSa kahalAegA hI nahIM na ! mujhe UparI cAhie hI nhiiN| 'maiM aisA svIkAra hI nahIM karatA hU~ ki bhagavAna UparI haiN| Apa hI mere UparI ho pratyakSa ho kyoMki pratyakSa upakArI ho' / aisA khaa| phira mahArAja cauMke ki 'yaha kyA kaha rahA hai, yaha kyA kaha rahA hai ? aisA mata kaho, mata kaho' / bhagavAna ApakI kalpanA jaise haiM hI nahIM phira bApa jI ghabarA gae na ! to kahane lage, 'yaha tU kyA kaha rahA hai, aisA nahIM kahanA caahie| bhagavAna kI niMdA kyoM kara rahA hai ? maiMne to tujhe aisA kahA ki bhagavAna tujhe mokSa meM le jaaegaa'| taba maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, maiM to khuuNgaa| maiM niMdA nahIM kara rahA huuN| jaisI ApakI kalpanA hai, bhagavAna vaise haiM hI nahIM / bhagavAna ko to maiM DhU~Dha rahA hU~ / mahArAja, mujhe bhI yaha samajha meM nahIM A rahA hai| bhagavAna yadi mujhe mokSa meM le jAe~, to aise mujhe nahIM jAnA hai / maiM apanI taraha se jAU~gA' / 415 koI hai kyA mujhe mokSa meM le jAne vAlA ? iz2a deyara enIbaDI ? yadi hai to vaha ApakA UparI rahegA / AI DonTa vAnTa baoNsa / tU UparI, mujhe le jAne vAlA tU kauna hai bhalA? bekAra hI, tU kahA~ se AyA ? yadi bhagavAna hamAre UparI haiM to phira use mokSa kaheMge hI kaise ? mujhe UparI vAlA mokSa nahIM caahie| maiM isa varlDa meM anDarahainDa rahanA hI nahIM caahtaa| jo honA ho vaha ho, lekina anDarahainDa nahIM rahanA cAhatA / ApakI sevA karU~gA lekina anDarahainDa nahIM / praznakartA : lekina jo sevA karatA hai vaha anDarahainDa kahalAegA yA nahIM?

Page #481
416 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) dAdAzrI : 'nhiiN-nhiiN| maiM nahIM rahU~gA anddrhaindd| ApakI dRSTi meM agara maiM anDarahainDa lagUMgA to maiM uTha jaauuNgaa| ApakI dRSTi badalegI, to maiM uThakara calA jaauuNgaa| sevA saba prakAra kI kruuNgaa'| taba mahArAja samajha gae ki yaha lar3akA pakkA hai ! baiThAne ke bAda uThA deM to vaha mokSa kisa kAma kA? 'bhagavAna hameM mokSa meM le jAe~ge,' to turaMta hI vicAra AtA hai, unake bolate hI mujhe philma kI taraha saba dikhAI detA thaa| ve le jAe~ge to vahA~ para mujhe kahA~ para baiThAe~ge? mAna lo mujhe mokSa meM le gae, taba bhI kisI eka jagaha para baiThAe~ge ki 'yahA~ baitth'| jo UparI hogA vaha to kahegA na, 'yahA~ baiTha isa sophAseTa pr'| vaha acchI jagaha ho, pharsTa klAsa jagaha ho aura vahA~ para baiThe hue hoM, taba agara unakA koI khAsa nayA paricita A jAe, anya koI riztedAra, sAle kA beTA A jAe to hama se kaheMge 'uTha yahA~ se' aura sAle ke beTe ko baiThA deNge| are ! chor3a terA mokSa, jo hameM uThA de vaha mokSa kisa kAma kA? jahA~ para koI aisA kahane vAlA hai ki 'uTha,' vahA~ jAne kI kyA z2arUrata? baiThane ke bAda meM uThAne kA samaya Ae, taba to terA aisA mokSa mujhe nahIM caahie| tU apane ghara para hI rkh| tU akelA vahA~ para so jaa| vahA~ para koI, 'uTha,' kahane vAlA nahIM honA caahie| mokSa kA matalaba jahA~ se koI uThAe nahIM, koI UparI nhiiN| usake lie janma nahIM liyA hai| usake bajAya to mere phAdara-madara jo ki pratyakSa upakArI haiM, vahI mere lie sahI haiN| tU kahA~ pratyakSa upakArI hai ? usake bajAya to yaha saMsAra acchaa| mokSa meM le jAne vAlA kauna hotA hai ? jaba taka mokSa kA mArga hai taba taka guru kI z2arUrata hai, jJAniyoM kI z2arUrata hai| lekina mokSa meM le jAne ke lie bhagavAna jaisI koI cIz2a nahIM hai| bhagavAna (UparI) hoM to isa duniyA meM jIne kA artha hI kyA hai? mere mAtA-pitA hI mere bhagavAna haiM kyoMki maiM dekha sakatA hU~ ki unhoMne mujhe jIvana diyA hai| Apa aisA bhagavAna diijie| aisA bhagavAna nahIM cAhie jo mujhe idhara-udhara bhttkaae|

Page #482
[10.8] bhagavAna ke bAre meM maulika samajha 417 rileTiva meM upakArI calegA lekina riyala meM to nahIM ghara ke loga, mAtA-pitA uuprii| ye rileTiva UparI haiM lekina riyala UparI to koI bhI nahIM caahie| bhagavAna UparI hoMge to vaha nahIM clegaa| yahA~ para jo UparI haiM, unakI bhI kitanI jhaMjhaTa hai ! pitA haiM to bhI parezAnI hai| janma liyA hai isalie usa parezAnI ko to chor3a nahIM sakate lekina dUsare to binA janma die, binA bAta ke car3ha baiThate haiN| varlDa meM yadi mA~-bApa UparI haiM to usameM koI harja nahIM hai, bAkI maiM aura kisI kA UparIpana svIkAra karane ke lie taiyAra nahIM thaa| ye mA~-bApa upakArI haiM, isalie agara ve hameM DA~TeMge to calA leNge| hA~, DA~TanA par3e to ghara vAle DA~TeM, usameM harja nahIM hai kyoMki ve loga to hamAre lie mahenata karate haiM isalie upakArI haiN| choTe se bar3A kiyA, vaha saba jAnate haiM na hm| lekina yadi koI aisA jisane hamArA lAlana-pAlana nahIM kiyA aura vaha hameM DA~Te to vaha bhalA kauna? bhagavAna ne nahIM pAlA posA, aisA khule taura para dikhAI detA hai| ve yadi hameM DA~TeM to usase kyA lenA-denA? yaha to maiMne khuda dekhA hai ki mA~-bApa ne bar3A kiyA hai| yaha khule taura para dikhAI detA hai isalie unakA upakAra nahIM bhUla skte| unheM to hama pratyakSa upakArI dekhate haiM va jAnate haiN| unakA upakArIpana hai, upakArI kA UparIpana hai| jabaki bhagavAna kA to, vaha to hamezA ke lie UparIpana sUcita karatA hai| hamezA ke lie UparI nahIM caahie| DhU~Dha nikAlA ki merA aura ApakA koI UparI hai hI nahIM __maiM jiMdagI meM kabhI isa taraha se nahIM jIyA ki koI merA UparI hai| mujhe UparI pusAtA hI nahIM, no baDI (koI nhiiN)| maiM isa duniyA meM UparI banAne ke lie nahIM AyA huuN| UparI pusAe hI kaise? hameM to rAta ko nIMda bhI nahIM aaegii| rAsa hI nahIM AegA na! isalie UparI nahIM caahie| UparI ko svIkAra karane ke lie taiyAra nahIM huuN| to kahate haiM, ki jaba taka UparI ko svIkAra nahIM karegA taba taka zAdI karane ko nahIM milegii| maiMne kahA, 'zAdI nahIM kruuNgaa| kyA UparIpanA svIkAra

Page #483
418 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) karane ke lie zAdI karU~ aisA? UparIpanA svIkAra nahIM kiyA aura ha~Dha nikAlA ki merA to koI UparI nahIM hai lekina ApakA bhI koI UparI nahIM hai| maiM UparI rahita huA aura Apako bhI UparI rahita kara detA huuN| ___ mujhe apane Upara koI cAhie hI nhiiN| hamAre Upara phAdara-madara, aura agara koI guru hoM to ve, bAkI koI UparI nhiiN| binA bAta ke apane Upara koI cAhie hI nhiiN| sira para koI ho to phira ise jIvana kaise kaheMge? to kyA lAcArI bharA jIvana jInA hai? bhagavAna rUTha gayA hai aura bhagavAna aisA... isalie zurU se hI taya kiyA thA ki UparI nahIM caahie| yadi UparI hai to usakA ceharA dekhate hI hameM cir3ha mcegii| bhagavAna kA UparI honA kaise pusAegA, aisI paravazatA? aura phira kahA~ vApasa unheM poliza karate raheM, maskA mArate raheM? nahIM pusAe~ge ve bhagavAna jo DA~Te bhagavAna kyA de degA ki vaha binA bAta mujhe DA~Te? aura agara DA~Te to vaha bhagavAna bhI mere kAma kA nhiiN| maiM bhagavAna se aisA kaha dUMgA ki 'mere sAtha sIdhe rahanA kyoMki maiM sApha hU~ bilkula pyora huuN| chupachupakara paiMtare nahIM race haiN| vaha to, kala DA~Ta bhI sakatA hai hameM, usake bajAya apanA ghara kyA burA thA? apane ghara ke loga agara UparI hoM to acchA hai| mere bIbI-bacce saba acche haiN| ve kucha dera ke lie jhagar3ate haiM basa itanA hI na? gAliyA~ deMge to calegA, thor3A kleza kara leMge, lekina pakaur3iyA~ to khilAeMge yA nahIM? bhagavAna UparI aura mokSa, ye donoM virodhAbhAsI haiM praznakartA : khuza hoMge to khilaaeNge| dAdAzrI : vaha cAhe kucha bhI ho lekina khilAe~ge to sahI na! do gAliyA~ degI lekina pakaur3e to khilAegI na, to vaha mokSa acchA hai lekina aisA mokSa nahIM caahie| jahA~ se koI uThA de aisA mokSa nahIM cAhie, usake bajAya pakaur3e khAkara vAipha ke sAtha par3e rheNge| acchA

Page #484
[10.8] bhagavAna ke bAre meM maulika samajha acchA khAnA to banAkara degii| vaha khAe~ge - pIe~ge aura cAya pIkara mastI se so jaaeNge| taiyAra karake to degI na ! phira vaha rileTiva hai, riyala nahIM hai na! rileTiva kA to nikAla (nipaTArA ) ho jaaegaa| patnI ke sAtha vAlA mokSa acchaa| strI kA UparIpanA acchaa| jabaki yaha to binA bAta ke UparI bana baiThA hai, na lenA na denA! kisI kAma nahIM AegA, aisA UparI mere kisa kAma kA jo kisI kAma na Ae ? 419 terI mukti ke bajAya mere ghara kI mukti acchI hai aura apanI vAipha vagairaha kaba taka UparI haiM ? jaba taka yahA~ jI rahe haiM taba taka / to hamezA ke lie car3ha baiThatA hai / UparI nahIM honA cAhie, itanI yaha jhaMjhaTa huI thii| isa jiMdagI kA cAhe jo ho, lekina UparI to honA hI nahIM caahie| vaha nahIM pusAegA, apane Upara bhagavAna nahIM cAhie / ataH tabhI se maiM aisA nahIM mAnatA thA ki bhagavAna UparI haiM / bhagavAna UparI kyoM hoMge? usake bajAya to hamArA ina logoM ke anDara meM rahanA acchA hai lekina bhagavAna ke anDara meM to raha hI nahIM skte| kyoMki bhagavAna UparI aura mokSa, hindustAna ke loga cAhe ina donoM cIz2oM kI kalpanA karate haiM, lekina ye virodhAbhAsI haiN| aba isa duniyA meM to aisA lakSa (jAgRti) meM hI nahIM hai na, ki ye virodhAbhAsI haiN| mokSa arthAt no anDarahainDa, no baoNsa mokSa aura bhagavAna donoM virodhAbhAsI haiM / yadi mokSa hai to bhagavAna UparI nahIM honA cAhie aura agara UparI hai to kisI kA mokSa nahIM hogaa| maiM aisA mokSa nahIM DhU~Dha rahA hU~ / mokSa arthAt muktbhaav| mokSa kA matalaba kyA hai ? no anDarahainDa, no baoNsa / anDarahainDa kA zauka ho to yahA~ para honA cAhie, bAkI vahA~ para to anDarahainDa kA zauka nahIM rakha skte| mokSa meM to koI anDarahainDa nahIM hai, anDarahainDa bhI nahIM hai, koI UparI hai hI nahIM / bilkula inddipenddentt| dakhala nahIM hai kisI taraha kI, hama apane mokSa meM hI / anDarahainDa kA zauka hai to UparI mileMge aura jise anDarahainDa kA zauka nahIM hai unheM mukti milatI hai| kise milatI hai|

Page #485
420 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) praznakartA : jise anDarahainDa kA zauka nahIM hai unheN| dAdAzrI : mujhe anDarahainDa kA zauka nahIM hai| mere anDara meM koI nahIM hai| mujhe Apako anDarahainDa nahIM banAnA hai aura UparI kI taraha bhI svIkAra nahIM karanA hai| maiM UparI ko svIkAra nahIM karatA huuN| UparI kyoM honA cAhie? ataH UparIpane ko svIkAra nahIM kiyA thaa| zurU se hI aisI Adata thI ki mujhe apane sira para koI nahIM cAhie isalie bhagavAna ko bhI kabhI maiMne baoNsa ke rUpa meM svIkAra nahIM kiyaa| mujhe apane aMdara vAle bhagavAna ke sAtha abheda honA hai mujhe vItarAgoM kA aisA mokSa mArga cAhie thA jahA~ koI UparI nahIM, anDarahainDa nhiiN| una dinoM aisA patA nahIM calA ki vItarAgoM kA mokSa aisA hai lekina mujhe vahIM se samajha meM A gayA thA ki UparI nahIM caahie| jo kahe ki 'uTha yahA~ se', aisA terA mokSa mujhe nahIM caahie| yadi vaha mokSa meM le jA rahA ho to bhI maiM manA karU~gA ki 'apane ghara calA jA yahA~ se| terI lakSmI jI ke sAtha baiThA raha apane ghr| mujhe to, mujha meM bhI jo bhagavAna haiM una bhagavAna ke sAtha jAnA hai| mujhe tujhase kyA kAma hai ? tU bhagavAna hai, maiM bhI bhagavAna huuN| cAhe tU mujhe kucha samaya ke lie apane kAbU meM rakhane kA prayatna kara rahA hai lekina AI DonTa vAnTa ttuu'| para yaha bhIkha kyoM? ina pA~ca indriyoM ke lAlaca ke lie? kyA lAlaca hai isameM? jAnavara ko bhI lAlaca hai aura inheM bhI lAlaca hai to phira usameM aura hama meM pharka kyA rahA? vidrohI aura niHspahI svabhAva kI vajaha se sApha-sApha kaha detA thA praznakartA : sahI bAta hai lAlaca ke kAraNa vAstavika bhagavAna kI pahacAna nahIM ho paatii| dAdAzrI : maiM jaba choTA thA taba eka bApa jI aisA kaha rahe the, ki 'maiMne inakA bahuta bar3A roga le liyA aura inakA jo zArIrika duHkha thA vaha sArA le liyaa'| mere dimAg2a meM yaha bAta nahIM baitthii| vidrohI dimAg2a

Page #486
[10.8] bhagavAna ke bAre meM maulika samajha 421 thA meraa| maiMne kahA, 'bApa jI, taba to ye aspatAla baMda karavA deN'| are. saMDAsa jAne kI to zakti nahIM hai| zarma nahIM AtI? itane bar3e bApa jI (sAdhu mahArAja) the taba bhI kahA, 'saMDAsa jAne kI zakti ho to mujhe batA, cala, A jaa| pramANa de'| duHkha lene Ae ho! logoM ko bhramita kara rahA hai? ___ 'bApa jI, isake bajAya ghara para jAkara zAdI kara lo na! yaha tUphAna macAne ke bjaay'| usa dina unheM sApha-sApha sunA diyA thA, to unheM burA lgaa| vidrohI svabhAva thA merA isalie z2arA bolU~ to kharAba to lagatA na? ye saba to, agara koI gA~va vAlA baiThA ho na, to usake bhI bhagavA kapar3e dekhakara, 'bApa jI, merA koI bhalA krnaa'| ye becAre bhole loga bhramita ho jAte haiM ! kahate haiM, 'merA duHkha le liyA' mujhe yaha nahIM pusaaegaa| maiM sApha-sApha bolane vAlA iMsAna hU~! mujha meM itanA avaguNa thaa| jo niHspRhI, vidrohI, iMsAna ho, jise koI lenA-denA nahIM hai vaha isa taraha se calatA hai| agara use ThIka lage to vaha kaha detA hai| aMta meM DhU~Dha nikAlA vAstavika bhagavAna ko teraha sAla kI umra meM svataMtratA jAgI thii| tabhI se maiMne jA~ca kI ki bhagavAna ko DhU~Dha nikAlanA hai| aisA kauna bhagavAna hai jo hameM mokSa meM le jAegA! lekina phira unheM DhU~Dha nikaalaa| 'Upara koI bhagavAna nahIM hai' aisA DhU~Dha nikaalaa| yahA~ se vahA~, aise hilAyA, vaisA kiyA lekina DhU~Dha nikAlA ki 'hai hI nhiiN'| 'nahIM hai' aisA kahA, usake bAda maiMne iMtaz2Ara kiyaa| maiMne kahA, 'yadi tU hai to mujhe abhI uThA le'| 'AkAza dekhA lekina kucha bhI nhiiN| kucha bhI patA hI nahIM hai uskaa'| yoM hI vahA~ para laoNsTa proparTI (khoIpAI cIz2oM ke) oNphisa meM calI gaIM logoM kI sArI arjiyaaN| phira kahIM aisA par3hA ki bhagavAna to aMdara vAle ko kahate haiM, taba vaha bAta mujhe acchI lgii| kaI loga to bhagavAna ko 'aMdara vAlA' hI kahate haiM na!

Page #487
422 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) aMta meM bhagavAna ko DhU~Dha nikAlA to DhU~Dha hI nikAlA, lekina bhagavAna kI itanI acchI bhakti kI ki bhagavAna pUre hI mere vaza meM ho gae haiM ! yoM hI prakAza ho gayA hai| kabhI socA nahIM thA vaisaa| maiM apanA DevelapamenTa (upAdAna) lekara AyA huuN| anaMta janmoM kI icchAe~ isa janma meM phalIbhUta huiiN| pahale to mujhe vaha nahIM cAhie thA jo mujhe ddaaNtte| bhagavAna bhI yadi DA~TatA to mujhe vaha duniyA bhI nahIM cAhie aura saca meM pUcho to pUrI jiMdagI meM abhI taka kisI ne mujhe DA~TA nahIM hai| 'aba DA~Tane vAle ko chUTa hai| aba jise DA~TanA ho, use| aba ApakI bArI hai| ___maiMne pUrI lAipha risarca meM hI bitAI hai, risarca hI kI hai isalie mujhe bhagavAna mile aura da varlDa isa da paz2ala iTaselpha, iTaselpha paz2ala bana cukA hai| gaoNDa haiz2a naoNTa krieTeDa, onlI sAinTiphika sarakamasTenziyala eviDensa hai yh| sabhI saMyoga sAinTiphika haiM, unhIM se saba kArya hote jAte haiN| bhagavAna hamArA khuda kA hI svarUpa hai, vaha kucha bhI bhautika cIz2a nahIM detA bhagavAna se kahA, 'tU merA svarUpa hai, UparI kaisA?' 'merA khuda kA hI svarUpa hai' isa cIz2a kA bhAna nahIM hai isalie loga unheM apanA UparI batAte haiN| khuda lAlacI haiM, islie| unase kucha lenA hai, lekina nahIM milegA unake paas| hai hI nahIM, to kyA degA yoM bekAra hI? hA~ tujhe yadi bhautika sukha vagairaha cAhie, to tere pAsa jo hai vaha ina logoM ko de to tujhe behisAba bhautika sukha milegA aura agara duHkha degA to duHkha milegaa| bAkI, tujhe ina saba kA sAra milegA, bIca meM bhagavAna kI z2arUrata nahIM hai| unheM kyoM dalAla banAtA hai tU? aura bhagavAna to kahate haiM ki, 'jaba tujhe sanAtana sukha cAhie taba mere pAsa AnA, maiM ina sukhoM ke lie nahIM huuN'| Apako kauna sA sukha cAhie? praznakartA : sanAtana sukh|

Page #488
[10.8] bhagavAna ke bAre meM maulika samajha 423 dAdAzrI : hA~, agara sanAtana sukha cAhie to tU yahA~ para aa| bhautika sukhoM ke lie yaha saba kyA karanA? ___paravazatA to mujhe bahuta kacoTatI thI aura usameM bhI mujhe bhagavAna ke vaza rahanA to bahuta hI kacoTatA thaa| yaha parAyA iMsAna, na lenA, na denaa| agara bar3e bhAI hote to zAyada hama samajhate ki kamAkara lA rahA hai becArA aura hameM khilA rahA hai isalie UparI hai to usake vaza meM rhte| bhAbhI ke vaza meM rahate ki khAnA banAkara khilAtI haiM, lekina inase na to lenA hai na denA aura bekAra hI inake vaza meM raheM ? isalie mujhe khaTakatA rahatA thA aura jaba maiMne DhU~Dha nikAlA tabhI chodd'aa| UparI hI upAdhi hai bacapana meM agara koI mujhase Age bar3ha jAtA usake sAtha baiThanA mujhe acchA nahIM lagatA thA, hInatA mahasUsa hotI thI, vahA~ acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| vaha bAteM karatA to mujhe apane ApameM hInatA kA anubhava hotA hai isalie maiM vahA~ se khisaka jAtA thaa| maiMne kahA, 'hameM isa dukAna para nahIM baiThanA hai| jahA~ apanA naMbara lage vahA~ baiThanA hai| aMdhoM meM kANA raajaa'| praznakartA : bacapana meM aisA thA? dAdAzrI : aura kyA? yaha acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| yaha mujhase Age bar3ha gayA,' vaha acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| yahI jhaMjhaTa Age hI Age AtI rahatI hai| UparI (baoNsa) nahIM caahie| aisA nahIM caahie| kitanI hI parezAnI ! tujhe acchA lagatA hai ? praznakartA : mujhe to acchA lagatA hai, daadaa| dAdAzrI : aisA? bhagavAna kI bhakti karake unake jaisA bana jAegA ataH bhagavAna ko UparI ke taura para svIkAra nahIM karatA thaa|

Page #489
jJAnI puruSa (bhAga - 1) bhagavAna hara prakAra se mere pUjya haiM lekina UparI ke rUpa meM svIkAra nahIM haiM / ' ApakI bhakti karake Apa jaisA banU~gA' maiM kyA kahatA thA ? praznakartA : ApakI bhakti karake Apa jaisA banU~gA / dAdAzrI : hA~, Apa jaisA hI / ApameM aura mujha meM pharka nahIM hai| pharka sirpha itanA hI hai ki 'Apa yaha par3hakara Age bar3ha gae haiM aura maiM par3hakara pIche raha gayA hU~' / aura koI pharka nahIM hai, no Dipharensa / khuda kA svarUpa paramAtmA hI hai / bhagavAna kucha bhI nahIM karatA hai na! yadi kucha bhI nahIM karatA to use UparI kaise mAneM? agara koI vyakti mujhe usakA pramANa dikhAe ki bhagavAna ne mujhe yaha karake diyA hai / jahA~ vaha kucha bhI nahIM karatA hai, vahA~ para loga kahate haiM 'bhagavAna ne kiyA hai'| bhagavAna ko pahacAno to sahI, bhagavAna aise nahIM haiM ki kisI kA aisA kareM / 424 nAma yAda karate hI duHkha dUra hote haiM lekina cAra Ane bhI nahIM milate yaha maiM jaba paMdraha sAla kA thA tabhI se aisA nahIM mAnatA thA / maiM mAna hI nahIM pAtA thA! kisI eka ke yahA~ bahuta kucha dekara jAte haiM aura dUsare ko bhaTakA dete haiM / kyA aisA honA cAhie ? vaha kaisA bhagavAna ? bhagavAna ke pAsa to cAra Ane bhI nahIM haiN| bhagavAna kisI kI madada bhI nahIM kara skte| unakA nAma sunate hI bAkI sAre duHkha bhAga jAte haiM, sabhI duHkha lupta ho jAte haiM lekina ve aura kucha bhI nahIM de sakate haiN| bhagavAna ne to usameM hAtha hI nahIM DAlA hai / ve aise haiM ki bhautika dRSTi meM hAtha hI nahIM DAlate aura aise bhI nahIM haiM ki bhautika kareM / Apako bhautika karavAnA hai, lekina ve to jJAtA - dRSTA va vItarAga haiN| vItarAga ke pAsa koI sAmAna hotA hai kyA ? ve kyA de deMge ? ve vItarAga haiN| unake pAsa kucha bhI nahIM hai, bhautika vAle ke lie| ve to kyA kahate haiM ki, 'agara Apako zAzvata sukha cAhie to mere pAsa Ao kyoMki maiM sanAtana sukha kA bhogI hU~' / taba maiMne unase kahA, 'bhAI, isa sanAtana sukha kA bhogI, maiM UparIpana svIkAra nahIM kruuNgaa'| to ve kahate haiM, 'Apa

Page #490
[10.8] bhagavAna ke bAre meM maulika samajha 425 vItarAga bana jAoge to maiM aura Apa eka hI haiN| rAga-dveSa chUTa jAe~ge to maiM aura Apa eka hI haiM!' / aMdara vAle bhagavAna se hI kahatA thA, 'mujhe tAranA' 'Upara koI bApa bhI nahIM hai, aisA koI bA~sa bhI nahIM hai', aisA mujhe pUrNa vizvAsa ho gayA thaa| hara eka manuSya ke aMdara bhagavAna rahe hue haiM, sirpha prakaTa karane haiN| ve prakaTa kisa taraha se hoMge? jahA~ para prakaTa ho cuke haiM, unake pAsa jAe~ge to prakaTa ho jaaeNge| aura koI rAstA nahIM hai| ataH yahI mArga apanAyA thA ki, bhAI aba hameM isa taraha se kAma lenA hai ki Upara bhagavAna nahIM haiN| bhagavAna aMdara haiM aura pahale se hI aMdara vAle bhagavAna se bAta karanA zurU kara diyA thA ki 'Apa mujhe tAranA yA bcaanaa'| jo kucha bhI kahatA thA vaha unhIM se kahatA thaa| Upara vAle ko kahane jAe~ to koI bApa bhI nahIM pUchatA hai, vahA~ to| yoM hI calA jAtA hai, bIca meM hii| jise anDarahainDa pasaMda nahIM hai, use UparI nahIM milegA yaha merI khuda kI khoja hai ki bhagavAna UparI nahIM haiM / ve anDarahainDa bhI nahIM haiM aura UparI bhI nhiiN'| taba unhoMne mujhe unakI khuda kI dazA vAlA banAyA ki UparI bhI nahIM aura anDarahainDa bhI nhiiN| yAnI ki mujhe anDarahainDa kA bhI zauka nahIM thA aura UparI kI bhI mujhe z2arUrata nahIM thii| jise anDarahainDa kA zauka hotA hai, use UparI mile bagaira nahIM rahate aura vaha donoM ke bIca baphara bana jAtA hai, UparI aura anDarahainDa ke bIca / baphara kuTatA hI rahatA hai| loga kahate haiM ki 'hameM UparI pasaMda nahIM haiN| maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, aisA nahIM clegaa| jaba Apako anDarahainDa acche nahIM lageMge, taba apane Apa hI UparI bhI nahIM mileNge'| vaha usakA pariNAma hai| jaba Apako anDarahainDa pasaMda nahIM hoMge, taba Apako UparI bhI prApta nahIM hoNge| Apako aisI icchA nahIM karanI hai ki mujhe UparI na mile| mujhe anDarahainDa pasaMda nahIM haiM maiM kisI ko anDarahainDa nahIM rakhanA cAhatA to phira mujhe UparI kaise mileMge?

Page #491
426 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) galata karane se rokane ke lie bhagavAna kA Dara ghusAyA abhI isa varlDa meM merA koI UparI nahIM hai| UparI kaise pusAegA bhalA? aura Apako bhI UparI rahita banA detA huuN| abhI agara bAhara logoM se pUcho na, to 'gaoNDa iz2a krieTara, iz2a karekTa' aisA kaheMge, jabaki yahA~ para to koI bApa bhI UparI nahIM hai| tujhe yadi mukta honA hai, inDipenDenTa, to koI UparI nahIM haiM aura agara tujhe DipenDenTa acche lagate haiM to UparI haiN| UparI hoM to usakA matalaba hI kyA hai? mIniMgalesa bAta hai ! isalie laukika bAta alaga hai aura alaukika bAta alaga hai| yaha to kisalie hai ? logoM ko DarAne ke lie bhagavAna ko UparI banAyA hai| varnA phira logoM ke mana meM kyA hogA ki 'lAo koI sTora vAlA nahIM hai to Aja le lo na!' ataH yadi bhagavAna kA aisA koI Dara rahe to logoM kI vaha Adata chUTa jAtI hai| vicAraka iMsAna ko bhaya kI z2arUrata nahIM hai| Apake lie kisI pulisa kI z2arUrata nahIM hai aura na hI senA kI z2arUrata hai| pulisa aura senA to ina guMDe logoM ke lie hai aura usake lie Apa para Taiksa lagAyA jAtA hai| __maiMne khoja kI ki koI UparI nahIM hai| yaha vaijJAnika khoja hai| mujhe jJAna huA thA sUrata ke sTezana para, usake bAda mere lie jagat meM anya koI bhI cIz2a jAnanA bAkI nahIM bcaa| Aja bhI abhI jahA~ bhI dekho vahA~ bhagavAna ko dekha sakatA huuN| Apake bhagavAna ko bhI maiM dekha sakatA hU~ aura paramAtmA ko bhI maiM dekha sakatA huuN| ApameM bhagavAna paramAtmA ke rUpa meM vyakta nahIM hue haiN| bhagavAna ke rUpa meM haiM aura dUsarA, jo paramAtmA ke rUpa meM haiM, unheM bhI maiM dekha sakatA huuN| ata: varlDa yoM samajhane jaisA hai, gappa nahIM hai| yaha vijJAna se khar3A ho gyaa| ataH Apako inDipenDensI DhU~DhanI caahie| bhagavAna nahIM lekina merI bhUleM hI merI UparI haiM praznakartA : dAdA, Apane teraha sAla kI umra meM lalakArA thA ki merA koI UparI nahIM hai, to kyA tabhI se Apane apanI pichalI sArI galatiyoM ko khatma kara diyA thaa|

Page #492
[10.8] bhagavAna ke bAre meM maulika samajha 427 dAdAzrI : pUrI jiMdagI maiMne galatiyA~ hI khatma kI haiN| teraha sAla kI umra ke bAda maiMne kahA ki 'ye kauna hai ?' agara UparI nahIM hai to, logoM ko aisI dakhala kyoM hai? mujhe zraddhA hai ki koI UparI nahIM hai, to phira yaha dakhalaMdAjI kyoM hai? loga isa taraha parezAna karate haiM, pulisa vAle bhI karate haiM, to javAba milA ki, 'apanI bhUleM haiM, vhii| bhUleM khatma ho jAe~gI to koI UparI nahIM rhegaa'| abhI agara Apa koI gunAha karo aura phira pulisa vAle ko DA~Takara Ao to vaha ApakA UparI bnegaa| phira vaha ghara para AegA yA nahIM, DaMDA lekara? aura agara hama gunAha karane ke bAda usase mA~phI mA~ga leM, chuTakArA kara Ae~ to kyA vaha AegA? to ye gunAha hI Apake UparI haiM, anya koI UparI nahIM hai| praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : apanI bhUleM to khatma karanI hI par3eMgI na! aba maiM Apako sikhAtA huuN| apanI bhUleM khatma kara doge to ApakA koI UparI nahIM rhegaa| praznakartA : ThIka hai| dAdAzrI : jaba taka bhUleM pUrI taraha se khatma nahIM ho jAtI, taba taka dAdA Apake UparI haiN| ___ataH maiM teraha sAla kI umra se hI bhagavAna ko apane UparI ke taura para svIkAra nahIM karatA thaa| merI bhUleM aura blaMDarsa, basa itanA hI UparI hai, anya koI UparI nahIM hai aura Apake lie bhI vahI UparI haiM, anya koI UparI nahIM hai| Atmayoga ke alAvA saba yoga vizrAma sthala jaise haiM praznakartA : to dharma meM jo isa prakAra kI prathAe~ cala rahI thIM, lekina Apa unameM nahIM pha~se, kyA aisI koI ghaTanA huI thI? dAdAzrI : eka mahArAja mujhe yoga sikhAne lge| 'yahA~ (kapAla

Page #493
jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) meM do A~khoM ke bIca) dekhate raho, unhoMne kahA / maiMne dekhA, usake bAda dUsare dina duHkhane lagA / maiMne kahA, 'yaha rAstA Apa kahA~ se lAe ? ' kisane sikhAyA hai Apako ? mujhe to isa taraha dekhane se duHkhatA hai aba Age kyA hogA?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'vaha to kucha dina bAda ThIka ho jaaegaa'| maiMne kahA, 'saba se pahale jo duHkha AtA hai na! vahI duHkha hai'| kriyA kA svabhAva aisA hai ki bAra-bAra karane se vaha sahaja ho jAtI hai| kyA ho sakatA hai ? koI bhI kriyA nahIM karanI hai / AtmA meM kriyA nAmaka guNa hai hI nhiiN| vaha svabhAva hI nahIM hai / vaha khuda hI akriya svabhAva vAlA hai, aura karanA kyA hai ? to yaha jo meTara (jar3a) hai, usameM karane kA guNa hai / Apa meTara rUpI banakara kara skoge| jo koI bhI kriyA karate ho vaha meTara rUpa se hI kara sakoge / ataH ye sAre rAste ulTe the ki, aisA karo aura aisA karo / 428 ye jo cakra haiM, ve saba kisake lie haiM ? rAste calate agara thakAna ho jAe to vizrAma sthala haiM / isase thor3I dera ke lie Apa ArAma kara lete ho| mokSa mArga meM jAte-jAte thakAna lage to vizrAma sthala nahIM cAhie? to ye vizrAma sthala haiM, usake bajAya isI ko paramAnenTa mArga banA diyaa| yoga aisA thA hI nahIM / hindustAna meM kauna sA yoga thA ? sirpha Atma yoga thaa| ye dUsare saba yoga, cakra ke yoga to vizrAma sthala haiN| bacapana meM jaba maiM agAsa jAtA thA taba vahA~ para kahate the ki 'mAlA karo', taba maiMne kahA ki 'maiM mAlA karane nahIM AyA huuN| maiM to zrImadjI kI (bAtoM kA) abhyAsa karane AyA hU~' / jo ciMtA nahIM ghaTAe, vaha lAiTa kisa kAma kI ? eka bAra bacapana meM, jaba satraha - aThAraha sAla kA thA taba A~kha dabAkara eka prayoga kiyA thaa| eka bAra z2arA hAtha se dabAkara A~kha masalI thii| A~khoM ko bahuta masalakara A~kheM kholane para kyA dikhAI detA hai ? praznakartA : aisA koI spaoNTa jaisA dikhAI detA hai| dAdAzrI : kaisA dikhAI detA hai? lAiTa !

Page #494
[10.8] bhagavAna ke bAre meM maulika samajha praznakartA : haM... lAiTa ke dhabbe / dAdAzrI : are ! mujhe to pUrA lAiTa kA golA hI dikhAI de rahA thaa| eka bahuta bar3A camakArA ( phlaiza) huA aura prakAza-prakAza ho gayA! to bAhara jo prakAza huA to dasa-dasa minaTa taka a~dherA nahIM huaa| 429 praznakartA : dasa minaTa taka a~dherA nahIM huA ? to vaha dasa minaTa taka nahIM jAtA ! dAdAzrI : phira maiM socane lagA ki kyA huA ? phira mujhe samajha meM AyA ki yaha to A~kha kI lAiTa (dekhane kI zakti ko nukasAna ho rahA hai) calI gii| phira dobArA kabhI bhI hAtha nahIM lgaayaa| baMda hI kara diyaa| isase to A~khoM kI rozanI calI jaaegii| pUrA lAiTa kA golA hI dikhAI de rahA thA / isa taraha hAtha chuAne kA kyA matalaba hai ? mIniMgalesa, yUz2alesa haiM sArI bAteM / aise prayogoM ko becane jAe~ to bAz2Ara meM cAra Ane bhI nahIM deMge isake lie / ciMtA to kama nahIM hotI ! aisA saba karane se sArI zakti hIna ho jAtI hai I

Page #495
[ 10.9 ] kI pahacAna thI se hI sahI guru zurU koI dharma nahIM lekina vItarAga mArga acchA lagatA thA / I praznakartA : dAdA Apako jaina saMskAra kisa umra meM mile the bacapana se hI jaina saMskAra the sAre ? dAdAzrI : nhiiN| bacapana meM to mujhe vaiSNava saMskAra mile the I RNAnubaMdha se hamArA janma vaiSNava mA~-bApa ke yahA~ huA thaa| praznakartA : lekina dAdA aisA sunA hai ki Apa bacapana meM covihAra (sUryAsta se pahale bhojana karanA) karate the / pratikramaNa karate the 1 dAdAzrI : nahIM / vaha saba to bar3e hone ke bAda lekina pahale kaMThI baMdhavAI thii| jaina dharma to calatA hI nahIM, mela hI nahIM khAtA thA / vItarAga mArga para gayA thA / praznakartA: hA~, vItarAga mArga para, ThIka hai / dAdAzrI : kRSNa bhagavAna ko 'vItarAga' kahA, vaha ThIka hai| vItarAgoM ne (tIrthaMkaroM ne) 'vItarAgatA' kahA, vaha ThIka hai lekina jaina dharma, vaiSNava dharma vaha saba hameM ThIka nahIM lagatA thA / jo mujhe kucha sikhAegA, vahA~ para baMdhavAU~gA dobArA kaMThI praznakartA : ApakA janma vaiSNava kula meM huA thA to Apane kisase kaMThI baMdhavAI thI ? dAdAzrI : hA~ ! jaba choTA thA taba bA kaMThI baMdhavAne le gae the I

Page #496
[10.9] sahI guru kI pahacAna thI zurU se hI 431 kAMkarolI vAle sAdhu kI kaMThI baMdhavAI huI thii| vaha lagabhaga bAraha-teraha sAla kI umra meM apane Apa TUTa gii| saba ne kahA, 'phira se kaMThI bNdhvaao'| taba phira bA ne kahA ki 'dobArA kaMThI baMdhAe binA nahIM clegaa| merI madara mujhe vaiSNava dharma meM DAlane kA prayatna kara rahI thIM isalie madara ne kahA ki 'kAMkarolI se sAdhu mahArAja Ae haiM, to hama dobArA kaMThI baMdhavA leN'| una dinoM dobArA kaMThI baMdhavAne ke lie ThaMDe pAnI kA ghar3A bharakara Upara DAlate the aura kAna meM phUMka mArate the| kyA phUMka mArate the? 'zrI kRSNa zaraNam mm'| praznakartA : maMtra dete the| dAdAzrI : to hamArI samajha meM AtA thA ki 'zrI kRSNa, hamArI zaraNa meM A' hameM aisA sunAI detA thaa| kyA sunAI detA thA? praznakartA : kRSNa bhagavAna, Apa hamArI zaraNa meM aao| dAdAzrI : isalie maiMne kahA, 'nahIM, mujhe aisA nahIM clegaa| mujhe aisI kaMThI nahIM pahananI hai, baa| mujhe to agara koI kucha sahI sikhAegA tabhI mujhe kaMThI bA~dhanI hai'| bahuta dinoM taka chalA gayA, aba nahIM par3anA hai ku~ve meM maiMne kahA, 'dekho yaha ku~vA! maiM apane bApa-dAdA ke ku~ve meM nahIM giranA caahtaa'| apane bApa-dAdA isa ku~ve meM gire hoNge| una dinoM usameM pAnI hogaa| pahale pAnI thaa| vallabhAcArya ke samaya meM paMdraha phuTa pAnI thaa| taba taka gira sakate the kyoMki tairanA AtA isalie jIvita rahatA thA lekina abhI to vaha pAnI sUkha cukA hai| maiM vaiSNavoM kA ku~vA dekhakara AyA huuN| mujhe to isa ku~ve meM dekhane para bar3e-bar3e patthara aura sA~pa par3e hue dikhAI dete haiM, pAnI nahIM dikhAI detaa| maiM usameM nahIM girU~gA, Apa saba apane bApa-dAdA ke ku~ve meM girnaa| bApa-dAdA jisa ku~ve meM gire usI ku~ve meM hameM bhI giranA

Page #497
jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) hai? kyA hameM likhakara diyA gayA hai ? aMdara pAnI dekho, hai yA nahIM ? to giro, varnA yadi pAnI nahIM hai to girakara apanA sira phor3ane kA kyA matalaba hai?' 432 praznakartA: aura usa samaya Apane manA kara diyA / dAdAzrI : hA~, maiMne bA ko manA kara diyA / yaha kyA tarIkA hai ? bahuta dinoM taka chale ge| aba isa janma meM nahIM chalA jaauuNgaa| ye kaMThIbaMdhA ( aisA vyakti jisane kisI prakAra kI bA~dhI ho) nahIM haiM, maiM to aisA hU~ ki tujhe bhI bA~dha duuN| mamatA yA svArtha nahIM, isIlie nahIM sunA maiM to pahale se hI krAMtikArI thA ! maiM aisA iMsAna nahIM hU~ ki kisI kI kucha sunU~ ! jise mamatA ho vaha sunatA hai / jise mamatA nahIM hai use kisI kI kyA sunanI ? svArtha vAle sunate haiM, yadi unheM phAyadA ho rahA ho, to! mujhe bilkula bhI mamatA nahIM thI, svArtha bhI nahIM thA / praznakartA : lekina dAdA, vaha kauna sA eTamaoNsphiyara thA ki usa z2amAne meM Apa bAraha sAla kI umra meM itanI himmata se manA kara sake ? dAdAzrI : bahuta hI himmata thI / isIlie madara ne kahA ki tujhe 'nuguro' (binA guru kA) kheNge| taba maiMne kahA ki 'vaha bhalA kauna sA jAnavara AyA vApasa, nuguro ? mujhe yaha nugurA samajha meM nahIM AyA thA aura bA bhI nahIM samajhate hoMge, lekina logoM ne unheM kahA hogA ki ' nugurA kheNge'| praznakartA : hA~, na-guru / dAdAzrI : taba 'nugurA' zabda thA, isIlie maiM aisA samajhA ki yaha zabda una logoM kA koI eDajasTamenTa hogA, aura 'nugurA' kahakara phaz2ItA karate hoNge| nugurA koI zabda hogA gAlI dene ke lie| isalie maiMne kahA ki, "bahuta huA to ve loga mujhe 'nugurA' kaheMge, merA phaz2ItA kareMge ? bhale hI mujhe nugurA kaheM, jo kahanA ho, vaha kheN|"

Page #498
[10.9] sahI guru kI pahacAna thI zurU se hI 433 bar3A hone para maiM nugurA zabda ko samajha gayA ki nugurA zabda se ve kyA kahanA cAhate haiM ! 'na guru' aisA patA nahIM thA ki 'binA guru kaa'| bacapana meM guru ke bAre meM yathArtha samajha usa ghar3I guru kA artha, maiM aisA samajhatA thA ki prakAza dikhAne vaalaa| 'jo loga mujhe pratyakSa jJAna nahIM deM, jo mere lie prakAza na dhareM to mujhe yoM hI koI ThaMDA pAnI chir3akakara yA Upara pAnI kA ghar3A u~Delakara koI kaMThI nahIM bNdhvaanii| jisake khuda ke pAsa prakAza nahIM hai, jisake pAsa dUsaroM ke lie prakAza dharane kI zakti nahIM hai, usase maiM kaMThI kyoM pahanU~? koI upadeza nahIM dete aura guru bana baiThe haiM! aisA guru mujhe nahIM caahie| jaise guru Apane banAe haiM, vaise guru mujhe nahIM banAne haiN| jAo, tumhArA mokSa mujhe nahIM caahie| vaha hameM nahIM pusAegA, usake bajAya yoM hI calane do|' 'mujhe jaba aisA lagegA ki inheM guru banAne jaisA hai taba maiM ThaMDA pAnI to kyA, agara ve hAtha kATa leMge to hAtha bhI kaTavA duuNgaa| anaMta janmoM se hAtha the hI na, kahA~ nahIM the? aura koI luTerA khar3aga se hAtha kATa de to kaTa hI jAne dete haiM na? to yahA~ para yadi guru hAtha kATa deM, taba kyA nahIM kaTane deMge? lekina guru becAre kATate hI nahIM haiM na! lekina agara kabhI ve kATane kA kaheM taba phira kyA aisA nahIM karane kA koI kAraNa hai? mere lie to, jo mujhe upadeza deM, kisI bhI prakAra se jAgRta kareM, helpa kareM, prakAza deM, vahI mere guru| mujhe unase aura kucha nahIM cAhie thA, sirpha mujhe prakAza dikhaaeN| mujhe rAstA dikhAe~, jo mujhe nahIM dikhAI detA, use jo dikhA deM, vahI mere guru| mere mana meM z2arA aMdara zAMti lAe~, vahI mere guru| mujhe vAstavika brahmasaMbaMdha cAhie, bhrAMti vAlA nahIM ___maiM to guru se kahatA thA ki, 'Apa aisA jo brahmasaMbaMdha karavAte haiM, vaha mujhe pasaMda nahIM hai'| brahmasaMbaMdha to AtmA kI laganI lagane ke

Page #499
434 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) bAda meM, vaha laganI chUTegI nahIM, use brahmasaMbaMdha kahate haiN| usa saMbaMdha kI laganI laga jAe, usake bAda phira brahmasaMbaMdha nahIM chuuttegaa| yaha to (nAma kA hI) bhrAMti kA brahmasaMbaMdha hai ! mujhe to vAstavika brahmasaMbaMdha, jaba kisI aura dUsare ke sAtha saMbaMdha na bar3hAnA par3e aisA saMbaMdha banAnA hai| yaha aisA zAbdika brahmasaMbaMdha mujhe nahIM caahie| vallabhAcArya, zaMkarAcArya, sahajAnaMda svAmI vagairaha Adi puruSa bahuta ucca prakAra ke the, lekina phira samaya ke sAtha yaha sabakucha badalane lgaa| phira bhI hameM aise zabda nahIM bolane caahie| hama jJAnI puruSa haiM, hama z2immedAra kahe jAte haiM lekina jaba opana bAta jAnanI ho taba sirpha jAnakArI ke lie hI batAte haiM, aura vaha bhI vItarAgatA se kahate haiN| hameM kisI bhI jagaha para z2arA sA bhI rAga-dveSa nahIM hai| hama jaba acchA bolate haiM taba hama meM rAga utpanna nahIM hotA aura agara kharAba bolate haiM taba dveSa utpanna nahIM hotaa| hama aise zabda bolate haiM phira bhI rAga-dveSa nahIM hote| pariNAma ko pakar3ane vAlA 'vaijJAnika brena', bacapana se hI praznakartA : sacce guru ke bAre meM ApakI itanI ucca samajha kA kyA kAraNa hai? dAdAzrI : vaijJAnika brena (dimAg2a) thA zurU se hI, bacapana se hI vaijJAnika brena! pariNAma ko pakar3ane vAlA! kaisA brena? praznakartA : pariNAma ko pakar3ane vaalaa| dAdAzrI : hara eka cIz2a prApta ho usase pahale pariNAma ko pakar3a lete the| ataH yaha pariNAma ko pakar3ane vAlA brena, kAma AyA ismeN| maiM chabbIsa-sattAIsa sAla kA thA taba kRpAludeva kI kitAbeM par3hatA thaa| phira vahA~ para jo mahArAja Ate the, sthAnakavAsI Ate the to vahA~ para jAtA thA aura derAvAsI Ate the to vahA~ para jAtA thaa| eka bAra eka sthAnakavAsI mahArAja Ae the| unhoMne mujhase kucha bAteM suniiN| taba mujhase kahA ki 'Apa vaijJAnika iMsAna ho, ApakA yaha dimAg2a vaijJAnika hai| kabhI na kabhI, bhagavAna mahAvIra kI bAta Apako bahuta acchI taraha se

Page #500
[10.9] sahI guru kI pahacAna thI zurU se hI 435 samajha meM aaegii'| unake kahane se pahale to maiM kucha naI hI bAta kaha detA thaa| vaijJAnika dimAg2a! vahI eka mahArAja the jo mujhe pahacAna gae the| ve mahArAja kucha kaha rahe hote aura vahI bAta maiM kaha detA thaa| unhoMne kahA, 'aisA kisI ko nahIM aataa'| taba maiMne kahA, 'ye mahArAja sahI kaha rahe haiN| unheM samajha meM A gayA thA ki yaha sabhI bAteM bahuta hI ucca prakAra kI karatA hai| merA vaijJAnika svabhAva thA, zurU se hii| jitanA (zAstra) par3hA usa para se maiM vijJAna batAtA thaa| vijJAna arthAt ki yaha mere pAtAla kA pAnI hai| isameM se (zAstra meM se) liyA, lekina pAnI nikalatA thA pAtAla meM se| vaijJAnika arthAt khuda kA hI sabakucha (siddhAMta) bnaanaa| sAmane vAlA bAta kare usase pahale hI Age kA sabakucha dekha lenA, sAmane vAle ko rAste para lA denaa| mujhe bacapana se hI Adata thI ki jaba koI jJAna kI bAteM karatA taba maiM use vijJAna kI tarapha le jAtA thaa| vaijJAnika svabhAva to merA bacapana se hI thaa| vaijJAnika arthAt mUla zabda milane ke bAda maiM na jAne kahA~ taka pahu~ca jAtA thA! bAta jJAna kI cala rahI hotI thI, to maiM usameM se na jAne kucha alaga hI khoja kara detA thA! loga vijJAna kI bAta sunate haiM to use jJAna meM le jAte haiM aura maiM jJAna kI bAta ko vijJAna meM le jAtA thaa| vijJAna yAnI ki aisI-aisI bAteM jo zAstroM meM nahIM milatI thIM lekina usakI sabhI prakAra se spaSTatA ho jAtI thii| pariNAma hI dikhAI dete the, isalie kahIM bhI cipakA nahIM praznakartA : dAdA, Apane kahA hai na, ki ApakA brena pariNAma ko pakar3a letA thA, usake bAre meM z2arA z2yAdA batAie? dAdAzrI : merA bilonA pariNAmavAdI thaa| Aja bilonA biloyA usameM kyA AyA? isa taraha se dekhane kI Adata thii| bilotA z2arUra thA

Page #501
436 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) lekina agara dekhane ke bAda koI makkhana nahIM milatA thA to maiM chor3a detA thaa| maiM bilotA z2arUra thA lekina merA yaha pariNAmavAdI thaa| yaha dekha letA thA ki pariNAma svarUpa mujhe kyA prApta huaa| to maiM bhI bilotA thA, lekina bilone para hI mujhe yaha saba milaa| bilote-bilote milA hai na! lekina vaha pariNAmavAdI thaa| bilone ke pariNAma svarUpa kyA AyA? pUrI rAta biloyA aura milA kyA? to kahate haiM kucha bhI nhiiN| jhAga dikhAI de rahe the, basa itanA hii| jhAga to baiTha jAtA hai| yAnI ki jaba makkhana nahIM nikalatA thA to maiM chor3a detA thaa| bacapana se hI merA eka svabhAva thA ki koI bhI kArya karatA thA to pahale maiM usakA pariNAma dekhe bagaira nahIM rahatA thaa| saba bacce corI karate the to merA mana lalacAtA z2arUra thA ki, aisA bhI karanA cAhie, lekina turaMta hI mujhe pariNAma svarUpa bhaya hI dikhAI detA thaa| zurU se hI pariNAma dikhAI dete the isalie kahIM bhI cipakane nahIM diyaa| mujhe sAtha meM yaha rahatA hI thA ki isakA pariNAma kyA AegA, hara bAta meN| logoM ke mAne hue sukha meM nahIM dekhA sukha praznakartA : bhagavAna ke bAre meM, guru ke bAre meM Apake vicAra Azcaryajanaka haiM aura hama to bher3acAla kI taraha jo purAnA calatA AyA hai, usI meM calate jAte haiM, usakA kyA kAraNa hai? dAdAzrI : Apa loga to sIkhakara karate ho, aura maiM logoM se nahIM siikhaa| maiM zurU se hI loka saMjJA ke viruddha calane vAlA iMsAna huuN| loga jisa para calate haiM na, vaha rAstA isa taraha se gola-gola aura ulajhAne vAlA hai, ve loga sar3aka se hokara ghUma-ghUmakara jAte haiN| taba maiMne hisAba nikAlA ki gola ghUmane se to tIna mIla hoMge, isa taraha se sIdhA eka mIla hai to maiM sIdhe hI jAU~ isa tarapha se| usa rAste ko DhU~Dhakara maiM sIdhA calA jAtA thaa| isa prakAra maiM loka viruddha calA thaa| inake kahe anusAra kabhI calanA cAhie? nAma mAtra ko bhI lokasaMjJA nhiiN| logoM ne jisameM sukha mAnA thA, mujhe usameM sukha dikhAI hI nahIM diyaa|

Page #502
[10.9] sahI guru kI pahacAna thI zurU se hI 437 maiM zaoNrTa kaTa DhU~Dha nikAlatA thaa| loga to, agara Age cAra bher3a cala rahI ho to usake pIche pUrI TolI calane lagatI hai! rAstA kitanA Ter3hA hai, vaisA dekhate karate nahIM haiN| yaha to sarakAra ne niyama banAe haiM, isalie sIdhe rAste banavAe haiN| par3he-likhe logoM ne sIdhe rAste banavAe haiM, varnA pahale to eka mIla jAne ke lie tIna mIla ulTe rAste para jAnA par3atA thA, sabhI rAste aise the| jo kisI kI nakala nahIM kare, use kahate haiM akla akla to kise kahate haiM ki jisane kabhI bhI nakala nahIM kI ho| nakala kara-karake akla vAle bane haiM, usase kyA bhalA hogA? jo kisI kI bhI nakala nahIM kareM, use kahate haiM akl| yaha sArA to nakala karakarake sIkhe haiM! praznakartA : yadi kisI kI bhI nakala nahIM kI ho, to ve to jJAnI hI kahalAe~ge na? dAdAzrI : nahIM, vaha sthiti kucha acchI khlaaegii| maiMne kabhI bhI nakala nahIM kI thI, bacapana se hI nahIM kii| Apa agara kucha kara rahe hoM aura usameM agara mujhe kucha ulTA dikhAI detA thA to maiM vaha nahIM karatA thA, maiM apanA kucha alaga karatA thaa| praznakartA : jaba aisI svataMtratA hogI tabhI aisI sthiti AegI na? dAdAzrI : haaN| vaha cAhe kucha bhI ho, aMdara aisA kucha alaga karate the, bhedAMkana kie binA nahIM rahate the| aMdara aisA Ter3hA guNa thA ki yahA~ se yaha rAstA isa taraha le jAegA aura idhara ghUma jaaegaa| aba merI Adata aisI thI, isalie logoM ke khetoM meM se hokara maiM sIdhA jAtA thA lekina ghUmakara jAne kI Adata nahIM thii| aMdara vAle bhagavAna ko DA~TatA thA ki 'rAstA batA' apane siddhAMta dvArA baika (vApasa) jaao| merA rAstA yahI thA ki

Page #503
438 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) duniyA jisa rAste para jA rahI hai usa rAste para nahIM jAnA hai| maiM bacapana meM, bhAdaraNa se borasada calakara jAtA thA, taba loga ulajhana bharA rAstA pakar3ate the, aura sirpha maiM akelA hI sIdhA aura caur3A rAstA pakar3atA thaa| agara rAstA nahIM milatA thA taba aMdara vAle se kaha sakate haiM ki 'maiM to aMdhA hU~ isalie tujhe nahIM pahacAna pAtA lekina kyA tU bhI aMdhA hai? mujhe koI sahI rAstA batA' isa taraha se bhagavAna ko DA~TanA par3atA hai| are bhaI! tujhe agara kucha bhI samajha meM na Ae to 'aMdara vAlA' hai, aisA kara-karake karegA taba bhI tere aMdara ke ve AvaraNa TUTeMge, Age kA rAstA dikhegA lekina agara bAhara bhagavAna ko DhU~DhegA to usase terA kucha bhI nahIM hogaa| praznakartA : jaba taka jJAna nahIM ho jAe taba taka patA nahIM clegaa| dAdAzrI : hA~, lekina agara aMdara vAle kA jJAna nahIM huA ho taba bhI mahAdeva jI kA koI jJAna huA hai hameM? lekina logoM ko yaha burI Adata par3a gaI hai ki jo saba loga kara rahe haiM, vahI hameM bhI karanA hai| lekina bhAI, kyA koI alaga rAstA hai hI nahIM? / Ter3he-mer3he rAste ke bajAya acchA lagatA thA sIdhA rAstA ___ maiM bacapana se hI jaba nau sAla kA thA tabhI se maiMne niyama banAyA thA ki loga jisa rAste para calate haiM usa rAste para, agara vaha rAstA sIdhA hai to calanA hai aura agara rAstA bahuta Ter3hA ho to bIca meM nayA rAstA banAnA caahie| sabhI ghUmane jAte the, taba jaba mor3a AtA thA taba maiM kheta meM se calA jAtA thaa| jahA~ se saba loga jAte the, vahA~ se nahIM jAtA thaa| sabhI kahate the ki, 'Apa Ter3he ho'| taba maiM kahatA thA ki, 'maiM to pahale se hI Ter3hA huuN| usa rAste kA kyA karanA hai| loga to, agara Ter3hA-mer3hA rAstA banA ho to Ter3he calate haiM, eka mIla jAnA ho to tIna mIla ghUmakara pahu~cate haiN| maiM samajha jAtA thA ki yaha Ter3hA-mer3hA rAstA banAyA hai| loga usI rAste para calate rahate haiN| hameM nayA, sIdhA rAstA banA denA hai|

Page #504
[10.9] sahI guru kI pahacAna thI zurU se hI isa taraha logoM kI sabhI bAteM ulTI hotI thIM, unameM sIdhI bAta kyA hai vaha pahacAnanA to par3egA na ? 439 bacapana se mujhe alaga mArga mila gayA thA, zurU se hI / bacapana se hI mArga badalatA thA, maiM logoM ke AdhAra para nahIM calatA thA / jahA~ koI TolI jA rahI hotI thI na, to maiM usa TolI meM nahIM calatA thA / maiM dekhakara jA~ca karatA thA ki yaha TolI kisa tarapha le jA rahI hai ? yaha rAstA bhalA isa taraha ghUmakara aura vApasa usa taraha jA rahA hai / aba usa pUre rAste kA hisAba lagAyA jAe to eka ke bajAya tIna gunA hotA thA, to yaha AdhA sarkila Der3ha gunA hotA hai / to Der3ha gunA rAste para jAkara mAra khAe yA sIdhe ? to maiM sIdhA calatA thA, logoM ke rAste para nahIM calA, zurU se hI / logoM ke rAste para koI kAma nahIM / merA kAma logoM se kucha alaga thA, tarIkA bhI alaga thA, rasma bhI alaga thI, sabhI kucha alg| merI zurU se aisI hI Adata thii| mujhe loga kyA kahate the, maiM batAU~ ? praznakartA : haaN| dAdAzrI : kahate the, 'sIdhA jA rahA hai ?' maiM kahatA thA, 'hA~' / taba ve kahate the, 'tU hamase pahale kaise pahu~ca gayA ? sIdhe calakara AyA ?' maiMne kahA, 'hA~, 'sIdhe calakara AyA hU~ to kyA ApakI TolI kI taraha maMjIrA bajAkara Apake sAtha ghUmU~? maiM apane tarIke se dUsarA rAstA DhU~Dha luuNgaa| mujhe yaha saba nahIM clegaa| khuda ke mAne hue rAste para calakara aMta meM DhUMDha nikAlA kudarata kA niyama kyA hai ? par3osa meM agara koI na ho aura akelA hI ho, to use kucha sujhAne vAlA aMdara hai lekina yadi dUsare cAra loga hoM to kauna sujhAegA ? akelA ho to sUjha par3egI / ataH isa jagat meM isI bAta kI jhaMjhaTa hai ki akelA nahIM hai ! jabaki maiM akelA ghUmA hU~ kyoMki bacapana se hI merA svabhAva aisA thA ki Ama rAste para nahIM calanA hai, khuda ke banAe hue rAste para calanA hai| kitanI hI bAra usase mAra bhI bahuta par3I, kA~Te bhI khAe haiM lekina aMta meM yaha taya thA ki isI

Page #505
jJAnI puruSa (bhAga - 1) rAste jAnA hai, to isa rAste para hameM rAsa A gyaa| kaI janmoM taka mAra par3I hogI, lekina aMta meM yaha DhU~Dha nikAlA, vaha bAta pakkI hai| 440 aMta meM akrama vijJAna mila gayA bahuta hI acchA! bacapana se hI hama meM yaha vijJAna ghusa gayA thA isIlie ArAma aura zAMti se hI rahe / dUsarI bAhya bAteM nahIM AtI thIM /

Page #506
[10.10] jJAnI ke lakSaNa, bacapana se hI jaldabAz2a aura zarAratI svabhAva yaha 'nimitta ko bacakA' mujhe yaha zabda kyoM A gayA? isakA kAraNa kyA hai? maiM jaba choTA thA, ATha nau sAla kA, taba nimitta ko kATane kA matalaba samajha gayA thaa| maiM bacapana se hI z2arA zarAratI svabhAva vAlA thaa| jaldabAz2a aura pAvaraphula miz2Aja, to mujhe cher3akhAnI karane kI Adata thii| taba hamAre muhalle meM eka seTha rahate the| eka bAra mere pitA jI ne ciTThI likhI aura kahA ki 'yaha lallU seTha ko dekara A jaa| tujhe itanA kAma karanA hai| yaha ciTThI dekara A aura phira ve jo bhI javAba deM, vaha kAgaz2a para likhavAkara lAnA yA phira ve jo kucha bhI kaheM vaha javAba lekara aanaa'| majhe to khelane jAnA thA aura phAdara ne mujhe yaha kAma batA diyA to manA to nahIM kara sakatA thA na! phAdara to sabhI ke hote haiM na, yA sirpha mere akele ke the? nae-nae hoM to samajho ki ThIka hai, pUjA kareM lekina sabhI ko phAdara kA kahA huA karanA hI par3atA hai na! isalie phira maiM vaha ciTThI lekara gyaa| citta kutte ko khilAne meM thA, merI bAta kahA~ se sunate? una seTha ne hamAre muhalle ke hI eka pille ko pAla rakhA thaa| use z2arA dUdha pilAte the, kucha khilAte the aura khelate rahate the pUre din| unake bacce vagairaha nahIM the| to isa taraha kursI para baiThe-baiThe pille ke

Page #507
442 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) sAtha yoM khelate rahate the| maiMne unheM jo ciTThI dI vaha ciTThI unhoMne hAtha meM pkdd'ii| par3hA-karA nhiiN| mujhe to jaldI se vApasa lauTane ko kahA gayA thA, 'ciTThI dene para ve kyA kahate haiM, btaanaa'| maiM to unheM kahane gyaa| baccA thA isalie khelane meM hI citta rahatA thaa| seTha ne to vahA~ para baiThAe rakhA, maiM kaba taka baiThA rahatA? aura ve usa kutte ke sAtha khela rahe the lekina merI bAta ThIka se sunI nahIM aura 'hA~, ho rahA hai' kahA, javAba hI nahIM diyaa| taba mujhe gussA A gyaa| mujhe to khelane jAne kI jaldI thii| maiMne kahA, 'merI bAta sunie, itane bar3e hokara kutte ke sAtha kyA khela rahe haiM?' isa kutte ke zauka meM par3A iMsAna, iMsAnoM kA zauka nahIM hai aura kutte kA zauka hai, isakA kaba aMta AegA? mujhe to aMdara ekadama jaldI ho rahI thI aura ve na to kucha kaha rahe the, na hI kara rahe the! maiMne socA, 'inakA citta isa kutte meM hai| inake citta kA ThikAnA nahIM hai| mujhe kAma hai aura ye kara nahIM rahe haiM aura kutte se dostI kara rahe haiN'| kSatriya putra aura dimAg2a tUphAnI, to maiM seTha kI bhI nahIM sunatA thA mujhe lagA ki yaha kisa taraha kA iMsAna hai! maiMne kahA, 'javAba to de dIjie, mujhe jAnA hai'| taba phira maiMne kahA, 'seTha jI kyA kahate haiM ?' taba unhoMne kahA, 'maiM tujhe batAtA hU~, baiTha n'| phira merI ciTThI kI to bAta na jAne kahA~ gaI aura kutte ke sAtha khelane lge| merA dimAg2a ghUma gyaa| yA to 'nA' kaha do yA 'haaN'| 'nA' kaheMge to uThakara calatA bnuuN| lekina na to ve 'nA' kaha rahe the, na hI 'hA~' kaha rahe the| una dinoM jJAna nahIM thA isalie mana meM to aisA hI hotA na, ki patthara maaruuN| hotA yA nahIM hotA? maiM to jaldabAjI meM thA aura dimAg2a tuuphaanii| maiMne kahA, 'ye mujhe kaba taka baiThAe rakheMge?' isalie maiMne kahA, 'seTha, yaha ciTThI par3hakara...' to kahane lage, 'baiTha na, abhI ho jaaegaa| jaldI kyA hai ?' mere kahane para ve imozanala nahIM hue| taba maiM samajha gayA ki yaha baniyA

Page #508
[10.10] jJAnI ke lakSaNa, bacapana se hI 443 javAba nahIM degaa| maiM to choTA thA lekina bar3e banie kI bhI nahIM sunatA thaa| maiMne samajhA ki yaha baniyA yoM sIdhI taraha se nahIM utthegaa| isa kutte ko bahuta hI pyAra kara rahA hai na, to use z2arA pyAra dikhAne do| taba maiMne jAnA ki pA~ca-dasa minaTa ho gae, abhI taka bhI koI asara nahIM ho rahA hai isa pr| maiM jo kaha rahA hU~, usakA koI asara nahIM ho rahA hai| yaha mujhe nahIM pusaaegaa| maiM to paTela na, hama kSatriya putra kahalAte haiN| hama to aise loga jo talavAra se mAreM, aura mujhe yoM hI baiThAe rakhA hai| phira to mujhase sahana nahIM ho pAtA na! hamArA to khUna ubalane lgaa| usa samaya mujhe eka burI Adata aisI thI ki merI buddhi aMtarAyI huI thI na, to mujhe zarArata karane kI bahuta Adata thii| gunahagAra ko jAne binA nimitta ko kATate haiM ve usa kutte ke sAtha khela rahe the| taba maiMne kyA kiyA? 'kyoM seTha z2amIna para baiThe haiM?' taba kahA, 'z2amIna para baiThA huuN'| maiMne kahA, 'acchA' maiM z2yAdA elarTa thA isalie phira maiMne rAstA DhU~Dha nikaalaa| ve kutte ke sAtha khela rahe the aura yahA~ para usakA mu~ha thA aura usake mAthe para hAtha phera rahe the, aura usakI pU~cha usa tarapha thI jahA~ maiM baiThA thaa| maiMne acchI taraha se usakI pU~cha dabAI, aura aisI maroDI, aisI maror3I ki vaha kuttA cIkha pdd'aa| vaha cIkha to par3A lekina kutte kA svabhAva kaisA hotA hai ki jo usake (mu~ha ke) sAmane hotA hai usI ko kATa letA hai| kutte kA mu~ha seTha ke paira ke pAsa thA to usane seTha ko kATa liyaa| seTha ne samajhA ki, yaha kuttA kharAba hai, Aja bigar3a gayA hai, to unhoMne kutte ko pITa diyaa| maiMne kahA, 'mAro mata, mAro mt'| taba kahane lagA, 'kyoM? merA kuttA mujhe kabhI nahIM kATatA, Aja kyoM kiyA? merA kuttA mujhe hI kATa rahA hai ?' taba mere mana meM aisA huA ki 'merI vajaha se becAre kutte ko mAra khAnI pdd'ii'| maiMne seTha se kahA, 'isa kutte ne jo kiyA Apa bhI vApasa vaisA hI kara rahe haiM? jisakA gunAha hai use nahIM mArate aura kutte ko mAra rahe haiM ! isa nimitta ko kyoM kATa rahe haiM? kauna gunahagAra hai, vaha DhU~Dha nikaalo'| taba unhoMne kahA, 'kutte ne mujhe kATa liyaa| mujhe kATA hai isane! yaha to acchA huA ki dA~ta nahIM gar3Ae haiM

Page #509
444 jJAnI puruSa (bhAga-1) aura use itanI acchI taraha se mArA to vaha bhAga gayA, nahIM to dA~ta ghusA detaa'| maiMne kahA, 'kutte kA doSa nahIM hai'| agara nimitta ko kATeM to kutte aura iMsAna meM kyA pharka hai __ ApakA kuttA Apako kaise kATa sakatA hai? vaha kabhI bhI nahIM kATatA aura Aja kATA hai to! isake lie gunahagAra koI aura hai| maiMne kahA, 'mAranA nhiiN| kutte ne Apako kATA usake lie gunahagAra kauna hai ? maiN| aura mAra rahe ho kutte ko| yaha usane nahIM kiyA hai| maiMne pU~cha dabAI thI', to kahane lage, 'are, tUne pU~cha dabAI thI! aisA kyoM kiyA?' maiMne kahA, 'Apane aisA kiyaa'| phira seTha kahane lage, 'maiM tujhe javAba duuNgaa'| mujhe do-tIna galiyA~ diiN| lekina maiMne hisAba lagA liyA ki kuttA nimitta ko kATatA hai| kutte ne patA nahIM lagAyA ki, 'merI pU~cha kisane dabAI hai!' use patA nahIM hotA ki, 'yaha dabAne vAlA kauna hai aura kise kATa rahA hU~!' kuttA yaha nahIM samajha sakatA ki gunahagAra kauna hai| gunahagAra maiM thA, lekina mujhe pahacAna nahIM pAyA isalie kutte ne nimitta ko kATa khaayaa| taba maiMne kahA, 'Apa bhI nimitta ko kATate haiN| kutte ne jo bhUla kI, Apa bhI vaisI hI bhUla kara rahe haiM? hameM kyA yaha patA nahIM honA cAhie ki hamArA kuttA aisA nahIM hai jo kATa le? kucha na kucha kAraNa rahA hogA, patA to lagAnA cAhie na!' isa prakAra se pUrA saMsAra nimitta ko hI kATa rahA hai| tabhI se meM samajha gayA ki kutte nimitta ko kATate haiM, hameM nahIM kATanA caahie| aba vaha to kuttA hai isIlie use patA nahIM hai ki kisane usakI pU~cha dabAI aura vaha kise kATa rahA hai! vaha kuttA to nimitta hai, jabaki cher3A to maiMne thaa| phira ve pille ko mArate rhe| aise haiM ye log| gunAha kauna karatA hai aura kise mArate haiN| nimitta ko kATate haiN| isI taraha se yaha pUrA saMsAra nimitta ko hI kATakara duHkhI ho rahA hai| nimitta ko yA to kuttA yA phira sA~pa kATate haiN| sA~pa ke sAmane hama lakar3I rakheM to vaha lakar3I ko kATa khAtA hai kyoMki vaha sA~pa hai|

Page #510
[10.10] jJAnI ke lakSaNa, bacapana se hI 445 kutte ko hama cher3eM to kuttA bhI lakar3I ko kATane jAtA hai| kutte ko yaha patA nahIM calatA ki isameM gunahagAra kauna hai ! jo roz2a khAnA khilAtA hai use kATa liyaa| vaha nahIM jAnatA thA ki pU~cha kisane dbaaii| kuttA nimitta ko kATe, vaha samajha meM AtA hai lekina yadi iMsAna nimitta ko kATe to kutte meM aura usameM kyA pharka rhaa| Apako kyA lagatA hai ? praznakartA : kucha bhI pharka nahIM hai, donoM meN| dAdAzrI : haaN| isa udAharaNa se koI madada milegI? maiM jo bAta kara rahA hU~, usase? yaha bahuta gahana sAinsa hai! maiM jo kaha rahA hU~ vaha bahuta sUkSma sAinsa hai| pUrA jagat nimitta ko hI kATatA hai| jo nimitta ko na kATe, vaha bhagavAna banatA hai yaha saMsAra nimitta hI hai, lekina logoM ko nimitta ko kATane kI Adata par3a gaI hai| tabhI se patA cala gayA ki kuttA vaphAdAra nahIM hai| yadi vaphAdAra hotA to kyA vaha kATatA? jisane dabAyA use kATatA, seTha ko nahIM kaatttaa| sirpha bAgha kI dRSTi hI aisI hotI hai ki vaha mArane vAle kI tarapha hI jAtA hai| jahA~ se golI AI, nizAnA vahIM para jAtA hai| praznakartA : aisA? dAdAzrI : hA~, hamAre sAtha aisA huA thA na! bAgha ko pakar3akara eka kampAunDa meM lAyA gayA thaa| kampAunDa meM nIce cAroM tarapha bAr3a rakhI thii| phira kampAunDa meM use khulA chor3a diyA, zauka ke lie, cauthI maMz2ila ke jharokhe se use golI maarii| golI AI lekina use chUkara nikala gaI, bAgha ko nahIM lgii| usane dekhA ki yaha kahA~ se AI? to usane pahalI maMz2ila para chalA~ga lagAI, dUsarI para chalA~ga lagAI, tIsarI para chalA~ga lagAI lekina Akhira taka nahIM pahuMca paayaa| vaha kitanA jA~bAz2a kahA jAegA, isa taraha khar3I (varTikala) chalA~ga lagAnA! pahale eka chalA~ga lagAI pahalI maMjila para, khar3I chalA~ga lagAnI thI na, lekina

Page #511
jJAnI puruSa ( bhAga - 1 ) vaha nahIM pahu~ca pAyA, lekina yadi usakA calatA to pahu~ca jAtA na! vaha nimitta ko isa taraha se nahIM kATatA hai / to sabhI jAnavara aise nahIM hote, kucha hI aise hote haiN| jo nimitta ko nahIM kATatA, vaha bhagavAna banatA hai / apane pAsa yaha karekTa tharmAmITara hai na ? tharmAmITara hai yA nahIM ? praznakartA : tharmAmITara haiM, hA~ / 446 patA calA 'bhugate usI kI bhUla' praznakartA : Apa hameM jo jJAna kI cAbiyA~ dete haiM, unakA Apako bacapana meM koI anubhava huA thA ? dAdAzrI : bacapana meM koI hamArA tauliyA lekara calA jAtA aura ArAma se usakA upayoga karatA / usa taulie kA mAlika maiM, to maiM cir3ha jAtA thaa| kyA hai ki dUsare baccoM ko cir3hate hue dekhakara maiM sIkha gayA thaa| bAda meM phira samajha meM AyA ki, 'cir3hane kA yaha vyApAra galata hai / maiM yahA~ para bhugata rahA hU~ jabaki vaha to ArAma se tauliyA kAma meM le rahA hai!' to phira aisA vyApAra hI baMda kara diyA / yaha to bhugate usI kI bhUla hai na! duHkha hone para hisAba nikAla liyA ki, 'huA vahI nyAya' maiM choTA thA taba, apane pitA jI se maiMne cAra Ane mA~ge / ve de nahIM rahe the| taba merI bA ne siphAriza kI ki, 'kyoM bacce ko rulA rahe ho? de do na use'| taba maiMne kahA, 'bA, mujhe ApakI siphAriza nahIM cAhie / maiM apanI taraha se kara lU~gA' / yAnI ki taba bacapana meM mujhe binA lakar3I ke jalana (duHkha) huI thii| lekina hisAba nikAlA ki pUrI rAta subakiyA~ lekara rote raheM to vaha anartha daMDa hai| bApU jI ke pAsa paise nahIM hoMge to mujhe nahIM die| unheM nyAya lagatA hai isalie ve so jAte haiM aura agara maiM jAgakara pUrI rAta bigADUM to usakA kyA matalaba hai / maiM bacapana se hI nyAya DhU~Dhane jAtA thA, to saba tarapha se mujhe mAra

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[10.10] jJAnI ke lakSaNa, bacapana se hI 447 par3I thii| nyAya nahIM mile, taba ki taba patA calatA hai 'isake sAtha mere karma ke udaya kitane kharAba haiN'| ___loga kahate haiM ki yaha nyAya hai, lekina aisA hotA nahIM hai na! jo bhI hotA hai vaha apane karma ke udaya ke anusAra hai| vyavasthita DhU~Dha liyA bacapana meM hama bacapana meM pena se khelate the| pena ke choTe Tukar3e DibbI meM DAlate the| sabhI loga nizAnA lagA-lagAkara pheMkate the to sAta meM se tIna-cAra DibbI meM girakara bAhara nikala jAte the aura maiM yoM hI binA nizAnA lagAe pheMkatA thA to cAra-pA~ca (sleTa pensila) DibbI meM giratI thiiN| taba maiM socatA thA ki, 'yadi hama kartA hote to merI eka bhI pensila DibbI meM nahIM jaatii| kyoMki mujhe to AtA hI nahIM thA na aura ve loga nizAnA lagA-lagAkara DAlate haiM phira bhI nahIM giratI thiiN'| aisA hai yaha vyavasthita! dila ke sacce the na isIlie saccA mila gayA praznakartA : lekina Apako akrama vijJAna kisa taraha se prakaTa huA? yoM hI sahaja apane Apa hI mila gayA yA koI ciMtana kiyA thA? dAdAzrI : apane Apa hI, 'baTa naicurala' ho gayA! hamane aisA koI ciMtana vagairaha nahIM kiyaa| hameM aisA saba hotA kahA~ se? hama to aisA mAnate the ki, 'lagatA hai isa tarapha kA koI phala milegaa'| sacce dila ke the na, sacce dila se kiyA thA, isalie aisA lagA thA ki aisA koI phala milegA, kucha samakita jaisA hogaa| samakita kA kucha AbhAsa hogA, usakA prakAza hogaa| usake bajAya yaha to pUrA hI prakAza ho gayA!

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(5) prAtaH vidhi zrI sImaMdhara svAmI ko namaskAra karatA huuN| (5) * vAtsalyamUrti 'dAdA bhagavAna' ko namaskAra karatA huuN| (5) * prApta mana-vacana-kAyA se isa saMsAra ke kisI bhI jIva ko kiMcitmAtra bhI duHkha na ho, na ho, na ho|| * kevala zuddhAtmAnubhava ke alAvA isa saMsAra kI koI bhI vinAzI cIz2a mujhe nahIM caahie| (5) * prakaTa jJAnIpuruSa dAdA bhagavAna kI AjJA meM hI niraMtara rahane kI parama zakti prApta ho, prApta ho, prApta ho| * jJAnIpuruSa 'dAdA bhagavAna' ke vItarAga vijJAna kA yathArtha rUpa se, saMpUrNa-sarvAMga rUpa se kevala jJAna, kevala darzana aura kevala cAritra meM pariNamana ho, pariNamana ho, pariNamana ho| nau kalameM 1. he dAdA bhagavAna! mujhe, kisI bhI dehadhArI jIvAtmA kA kiMcitmAtra bhI aham na dubhe (Thesa na pahu~ce), na dubhAyA jAe yA dubhAne ke prati anumodanA na kI jAe, aisI parama zakti diijie| mujhe, kisI dehadhArI jIvAtmA kA kiMcitmAtra bhI aham na dubhe, aisI syAdvAda vANI, syAdvAda vartana aura syAdvAda manana karane kI parama zakti diijie| 2. he dAdA bhagavAna! mujhe, kisI bhI dharma kA kiMcitmAtra bhI pramANa na dubhe, na dubhAyA jAe yA dubhAne ke prati anumodanA na kI jAe, aisI parama zakti diijie| mujhe, kisI bhI dharma kA kiMcitmAtra bhI pramANa na dubhAyA jAe aisI syAdvAda vANI, syAvAda vartana aura syAvAda manana karane kI parama zakti diijie| 3. he dAdA bhagavAna! mujhe, kisI bhI dehadhArI upadezaka sAdhu, sAdhvI yA AcArya kA avarNavAda, aparAdha, avinaya na karane kI parama zakti diijie|

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4. he dAdA bhagavAna ! mujhe, kisI bhI dehadhArI jIvAtmA ke prati kiMcitmAtra bhI abhAva, tiraskAra kabhI bhI na kiyA jAe, na karavAyA jAe yA kartA ke prati anumodanA na kI jAe, aisI parama zakti diijie| 5. he dAdA bhagavAna! mujhe, kisI bhI dehadhArI jIvAtmA ke sAtha kabhI bhI kaThora bhASA, taMtIlI bhASA na bolI jAe, na bulavAI jAe yA bolane ke prati anumodanA na kI jAe, aisI parama zakti diijie| koI kaThora bhASA, taMtIlI bhASA bole to mujhe, mRdu-Rju bhASA bolane kI zakti diijie| 6. he dAdA bhagavAna! mujhe, kisI bhI dehadhArI jIvAtmA ke prati strI, puruSa yA napuMsaka, koI bhI liMgadhArI ho, to usake saMbaMdha meM kiMcitmAtra bhI viSaya-vikAra saMbaMdhI doSa, icchAe~, ceSTAe~ yA vicAra saMbaMdhI doSa na kie jAe~, na karavAe jAe~ yA kartA ke prati anumodanA na kI jAe, aisI parama zakti diijie| mujhe, niraMtara nirvikAra rahane kI parama zakti diijie| 7. he dAdA bhagavAna ! mujhe, kisI bhI rasa meM lubdhatA na ho aisI zakti diijie| samarasI AhAra lene kI parama zakti diijie| 8. he dAdA bhagavAna! mujhe, kisI bhI dehadhArI jIvAtmA kA pratyakSa athavA __ parokSa, jIvita athavA mRta, kisI kA kiMcitmAtra bhI avarNavAda, aparAdha, avinaya na kiyA jAe, na karavAyA jAe yA kartA ke prati anumodanA na kI jAe~, aisI parama zakti diijie| 9. he dAdA bhagavAna ! mujhe, jagata kalyANa karane kA nimitta banane kI parama zakti dIjie, zakti dIjie, zakti diijie| (itanA Apa dAdA bhagavAna se mA~gate rheN| yaha pratidina yaMtravat par3hane kI cIz2a nahIM hai, hRdaya meM rakhane kI cIz2a hai| yaha pratidina upayogapUrvaka bhAvanA karane kI cIz2a hai| itane pATha meM tamAma zAstroM kA sAra A jAtA hai|)

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mUla gujarAtI zabdoM ke samAnArthI zabda bhogavaTA : sukha yA duHkha kA asara Ar3AI : ahaMkAra kA Ter3hApana trAgA : apanI manamAnI karavAne ke lie kiyA jAne vAlA nATaka lAgaNI : lagAva, bhAvukatA vAlA prema ghemarAjI : atyaMta ghamaMDI, jo khuda apane sAmane auroM ko bilkula tuccha mAne khumArI : gaurava, garva, gurUra, rauba, ijjata Ar3AI : ahaMkAra kA Ter3hApana pAMjarApola : anAtha pazuoM kI pazuzAlA UparI : baoNsa, variSTha mAnilaka upAdhi : bAhara se Ane vAlA duHkha tumAkhI : hekar3I, ghamaMDa pudgala : jo pUraNa aura galana hotA hai saliyAkhora : zarArata karake parezAna karane vAle salI : zarArata saMthArA : mRtyu taka upavAsa lakSa : jAgRti noMdha : baira sahita noTa karanA cIkaNI phAila : gAr3ha RNAnubaMdha vAle vyakti athavA saMyoga covihAra : sUryAsta se pahale bhojana karanA

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( dAdA bhagavAna phAunDezana ke dvArA prakAzita pustakeM hindI 1. jJAnI puruSa kI pahacAna 27. nijadoSa darzana se... nirdoSa 2. sarva duHkhoM se mukti 28. pati-patnI kA divya vyavahAra 3. karma kA siddhAMta 29. kleza rahita jIvana 4. Atmabodha 30. guru-ziSya 5. maiM kauna hU~? 31. ahiMsA vartamAna tIrthakara zrI sImaMdhara svAmI 32. satya-asatya ke rahasya 7. bhugate usI kI bhUla 33. camatkAra 8. eDajasTa evarIvheyara 34. pApa-puNya 9. TakarAva TAlie 35. vANI, vyavahAra meM... 10. huA so nyAya 36. karma kA vijJAna 11. ciMtA 37. sahajatA 12. krodha 38. AptavANI - 1 13. pratikramaNa 39. AptavANI - 2 14. dAdA bhagavAna kauna ? 40. AptavANI - 3 15. paisoM kA vyavahAra 41. AptavANI - 4 16. aMta:karaNa kA svarUpa 17. jagata kartA kauna ? 42. AptavANI - 5 18. trimaMtra 43. AptavANI - 6 19. bhAvanA se sudhare janmojanma 44. AptavANI - 7 20. mAtA-pitA aura baccoM kA vyavahAra 45. AptavANI - 8 21. prema 46. AptavANI - 9 22. samajha se prApta brahmacarya (sN.)| 47. AptavANI - 13 (pUrvArdha va uttarArdha) 23. dAna 48. AptavANI - 14 (bhAga-1) 24. mAnava dharma 49. samajha se prApta brahmacarya (pUrvArdha va 25. sevA-paropakAra uttarArdha) 26. mRtyu samaya, pahale aura pazcAt 50. jJAnI puruSa dAdA bhagavAna phAunDezana ke dvArA gujarAtI bhASA meM bhI kaI pustakeM prakAzita huI hai| vebasAiTa www.dadabhagwan.org para se bhI Apa ye sabhI pustakeM prApta kara sakate haiN| dAdA bhagavAna phAunDezana ke dvArA hara mahIne hindI, gujarAtI tathA aMgrejI bhASA meM "dAdAvANI" maigez2Ina prakAzita hotA hai|

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saMparka sUtra dAdA bhagavAna parivAra aDAlaja : trimaMdira, sImaMdhara siTI, ahamadAbAda-kalola hAIve, posTa : aDAlaja, ji.-gAMdhInagara, gujarAta - 382421. phona : (079) 39830100, E-mail : info@dadabhagwan.org rAjakoTa : trimaMdira, ahamadAbAda-rAjakoTa hAIve, taraghar3iyA cokar3I (sarkala), posTa : mAliyAsaNa, ji.-rAjakoTa. phona : 9924343478 bhuja : trimaMdira, hila gArDana ke pIche, eyaraporTa roDa. phona : (02832) 290123 aMjAra : trimaMdira, aMjAra-mundra roDa, sInogrA pATIyA ke pAsa, sInogrA gA~va, tA.-aMjAra, phona : 9924346622 morabI : trimaMdira, morabI-navalakhI hAIve, po-jepura, tA.-morabI, ji.-rAjakoTa. phona : (02822) 297097 surendranagara : trimaMdira, surendranagara-rAjakoTa hAIve, lokavidyAlaya ke pAsa, muLI roDa. phona : 9737048322 amarelI : trimaMdira, lIlIyA bAyapAsa cokaDI, khArAvADI, phona : 9924344460 godharA : trimaMdira, bhAmaiyA gA~va, ephasIAI goDAuna ke sAmane, godharA. (ji.-paMcamahAla). phona : (02672) 262300 vaDodarA : bAbarIyA koleja ke pAsa, vaDodarA-surata hAI-ve, NH-8, varaNAmA gA~va. phona : 9574001557 vaDodarA : dAdA maMdira, 17, mAmA kI pola-muhallA, rAvapurA pulisa sTezana ke sAmane, salATavAr3A, vaDodarA. phona : 9924343335 ahamadAbAda : dAdA darzana, 5, mamatApArka sosAiTI, navagujarAta kaoNleja ke pIche, usmAnapurA, ahamadAbAda-380014. phona : (079) 27540408 muMbaI : 9323528901 dillI : 9810098564 kolakatA : 9830093230 cennaI : 9380159957 jayapura : 9351408285 bhopAla : 9425024405 : 9039936173 jabalapura : 9425160428 : 9329644433 bhilAI : 9827481336 : 7352723132 amarAvatI : 9422915064 : 9590979099 haidarAbAda : 9989877786 pUNe : 9422660497 jalaMdhara : 9814063043 U.S.A. : DBVI Tel. : +1877-505-DADA (3232), Email : info@us.dadabhagwan.org U.K. : +44 330-111-DADA (3232) Australia : +61 421127947 Kenya : +254 722722 063 New Zealand : +64 210376434 UAE : +971 557316937 Singapore : +65 81129229 www.dadabhagwan.org indaura rAyapura paTanA beMgalUra Email. inf.

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asAmAnya-bejor3a jJAnI puruSa merA saMtoSa janmajAta thaa| majhameM bacapana se hI duHkha meM se sukha khojane kI vRtti thii| maiM to bacapana se hI kisI cIz2a meM nahIM par3atA thaa| mujhe vahI karanA thA jo aura koI nahIM kara sakatA thaa| sAMsArika cIjoM ke to bahuta jAnakAra haiN| mujhe usakA jAnakAra bananA hai jisakA koI jAnakAra nahIM ho| daniyA ke jJAnI to calate-phirate bhI mila jAte the| isalie majhe yaha vicAra AyA ki jisa cIja kA koI jJAnI nahIM hai, jisakA jJAnI koI paidA hI nhiiN| huA, mujhe usa cIz2a kA jJAnI bananA hai| -dAdAzrI 07 9-4803873313 Printed in India dadabhagwan.org Price 150