Jainendra Kahani 06

Author(s): Purvodaya Prakashan
Publisher: Purvodaya Prakashan
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/010359/1

Page #1
THE FREE INDOLOGICAL COLLECTION WWW.SANSKRITDOCUMENTS.ORG/TFIC FAIR USE DECLARATION This book is sourced from another online repository and provided to you at this site under the TFIC collection. It is provided under commonly held Fair Use guidelines for individual educational or research use. We believe that the book is in the public domain and public dissemination was the intent of the original repository. We applaud and support their work wholeheartedly and only provide this version of this book at this site to make it available to even more readers. We believe that cataloging plays a big part in finding valuable books and try to facilitate that, through our TFIC group efforts. In some cases, the original sources are no longer online or are very hard to access, or marked up in or provided in Indian languages, rather than the more widely used English language. TFIC tries to address these needs too. Our intent is to aid all these repositories and digitization projects and is in no way to undercut them. For more information about our mission and our fair use guidelines, please visit our website. Note that we provide this book and others because, to the best of our knowledge, they are in the public domain, in our jurisdiction. However, before downloading and using it, you must verify that it is legal for you, in your jurisdiction, to access and use this copy of the book. Please do not download this book in error. We may not be held responsible for any copyright or other legal violations. Placing this notice in the front of every book, serves to both alert you, and to relieve us of any responsibility. If you are the intellectual property owner of this or any other book in our collection, please email us, if you have any objections to how we present or provide this book here, or to our providing this book at all. We shall work with you immediately. -The TFIC Team.

Page #2
TIGHT BINDING BOOK

Page #3
UNIVERSAL LIBRARY OU_178647 LIBRARY UNIVERSAL

Page #4

Page #5

Page #6
OSMANIA UNIVERSITY LIBRARY 1183. . Call Nong ii 3. Accession No. 8299 Title anenAniyo Author 1 . This book should be returned on or before the date last marked below.

Page #7

Page #8
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ jainendra-sAhitya [17]

Page #9

Page #10
jainendra-sAhitya [17] jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga [ 'sAdhu kI haTha', 'kaH panthA', 'corI' aura anya kahAniyA~] sarvodaya sAhitya maMdira, koThI, (basasTaiNDa,) haidarAbAda va pUrvo da ya prakAzana 7, dariyAgaMja, dillI

Page #11
pUrvodaya prakAzana 7. dariyAgaMja, dillI prathama saMskaraNa 1653 mUlya sAr3he tIna rupae pUrvodaya prakAzana, 7 dariyAgaMja, dillI kI prora se dilIpakumAra dvArA prakAzita aura nyU iNDiyA presa, naI dillI meM mudrita

Page #12
sAdhu kI haTha calate-calate vaha sAdhu eka ghara ke Age Thahara gyaa| vaha ghara zahara ke kotavAla kA hai, jo musalamAna hai / dvAra para TATa kA paradA par3A hai| __sAdhu ke lie yaha vyavasAya aura sthAna nayA hai / usane sadA dI-"mAI, dvAra para sAdhu khar3A hai, bhIkha de|" bhItara A~gana meM svayaM kotavAla kursI para baiThe hue hukkA pI rahe the| AvAz2a unake kAnoM meM par3I; para usakA uttara dene ke sthAna meM ve isa phakIrI peze ke bAre meM kucha apriya bAteM socane meM laga gye| ___ sAdhu kI AvAz2a phira AI / unhoMne socA, isa taraha bolabola kara thakakara khuda calA jAyagA aura isa nizcinta nizcaya ke sAtha hukke kI naicI, jo isa samaya muMha se vilaga ho gaI thI, phira unake muMha se pA lgii| paradA hilatA nahIM hai aura mAI ne kadAcit sunA nahIM hai, mana meM yaha soca paradA uThA, sAdhu ghara meM praviSTa huA, "mAI, sAdhu AtA hai, bhIkha de|" dArogA isake lie taiyAra na the| sAdhu kI AvAja ko bar3hatI AtI huI suna vaha tanika vyasta aura nirasta hue / sAdhu Akara

Page #13
jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] makAna ke dAlAna ke kinAre khar3A ho gyaa| unhoMne dekhA, sAdhu khUba hai, pUrNa yuvA hai, bar3A sundara hai / badana kaThora bilakula nahIM hai, jaise sarvadA ArAma se kapar3oM meM chipA rahA hai / jaise isa badana ko vilAsa kI Adata ho| socA, yaha phakIra nahIM hai, cAlAka hai|... samajhA hogA, andara koI marda nahIM hai...tabhI calA aayaa...| jora se bole, "kyA hai ?" sAdhu ne kahA, "phakIra A gayA hai, bhIkha mA~gatA hai|" dArogA ne kahA, "dekhatA nahIM kisakA ghara hai ? matalaba thA ki dArogA kA ghara hai jinhoMne eka-se-eka badamAza ko sIdhA kara diyA hai| sAdhu ne Ate hI dekha liyA thA, ki eka musalima gRha meM usakA AnA ho gayA hai, lekina jaba aisA hI ho gayA, to isameM koI vizeSa anaucitya bhI use nahIM jAna par3A aura vaha dArogA kI isa yA kisI prakAra kI khyAti se paricita na thA / usane kahA, "hiMdU usakA hai, musalamAna utakA hai / saba usakA hai / saba sAdhu kA hai| sAdhu bhIkha mA~gatA hai|" dArogA ne dekhA-yaha zakhsa haThI hai, dilera hai, pakkA zarAratI dIkhatA hai / kursI se uTha khar3e hue, eka kadama Age bar3ha pAye, aura bole, "bhIkha mA~gatA hai, to makAna ke andara ghusa AyA ?..." sAdhu ne kahA, "andara-bAhara saba usakA hai / makAna-bana saba usakA hai| sAdhu paradA nahIM rakhatA / vaha bhIkha mA~gatA hai|" dArogA ko yaha acchA nahIM lagatA thaa| sAdhu kI isa haTha-pUrNa dhRSTatA ko kaise bar3hane diyA jAya ? garmI le Aye, bole, "bhIkhavIkha yahA~ kucha nahIM miltii| samajhe ?" sAdhu ne jaise dArogA kI utkaTa anicchA aura ugratA na dekhate hue kahA, "bhIkha do, savAba hogaa|" sAdhu ke zabdoM meM jaise cunautI ho / sAdhu kI mudrA jaise kaha

Page #14
sAdhu kI haTha rahI ho, Akhira bhIkha tuma doge hii| to dArogA kI marjI jaise apane bAre meM bhI nahIM calegI ! jora se kahA, "badamAza !...bAhara nikala / " aura dAhane hAtha se vaha bAhara nikalane kA mArga dikhalA diyA aura sampUrNa mudrA se yaha jatalA diyA ki aisA na karane kA pariNAma acchA na hogaa| ___ sAdhu ne, mAno muskarAhaTa ko vANI meM ghola kara kahA, "bhAI, gussA burA hotA hai| faqIra ko jarA bhIkha DAla do| usakA bhI bhalA hogA, aura tumhArA bhii|" lekina dArogA kI jo manaHsthiti thI usameM sAdhu kI prakRta ThaMDaka ciMgArI-sI jAkara lagI, unakA gussA, jo abhI taka dhUmrAvRta agni kI bhA~ti kevala bhabhaka rahA thA, aba bhar3aka kara jvAlAmaya ho gyaa| Age bar3ha Aye aura bole, "bhIkha legA bhIkha ?le!" aura eka jora kA capata sAdhu kI kanapaTI para jar3a diyA / "aura legA ?-le aura / " do eka aura lagA diye| kauna kahe ki dArogA taba nahIM samajha rahe the ki vaha badamAza ke sAtha sirpha insAfa kA salUka kara rahe haiM, lekina krodhonmatta kA nyAya krodhazUnya ke lie sadA jabaradasta aura spaSTa anyAya hI hai| mUrchAgrasta aura pramatta vyakti ke lie, isalie dayA aura kSamA hI prakRta nyAya hai| dArogA kI dharma-patnI cika ke pIche se yaha dekha rahI thI aura unheM pati kA yaha kArya bar3A burA laga rahA thaa| sAdhu kI tarapha una kA mana khiMcA thA yA na khiMcA thA; kintu pati ke durvyavahAra para yaha eka dama sAdhu kA pakSa lene ko itanI udyata aura vivaza ho gaI ki musalima gRhasthI meM patnI kI pAbandiyA~ kahA~ taka haiM isakA dhyAna, pIr3hiyoM se par3I huI apanI Adata ke viparIta, zithila ho gyaa| bhItara se hI unhoMne kahA, "he-heM ! use mArate kyoM ho ? bhUla ho gaI becAre se, jAne do|"

Page #15
jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] lekina krodha kA tarka aura hai / vaha tarka pratayaM hai / jise badamAza mAna liyA gayA, use 'becArA' kahanA usa krodha ko aura kruddha karanA nahIM to aura kyA hai ? usI taraha kopa-pAtra ko sahAnubhUti denA, Aga ke zikAra meM aura ghI DAlanA hai / bole, "tujha se kauna pUchatA hai, badajAta ?-aura sAdhu para kucha thappar3a aura duhatthar3a jahA~ par3e, jamA diye aura use dhakiyAte hue dvAra kI rAha dikhAne kA prayatna kiyaa|" kintu sAdhu ne bAhara cale jAne kI AturatA nahIM pradarzita kI aura na prahAroM ke prati kucha ashniiytaa| isase dArogA kA gussA eka sAtha hI kuNThita huA aura tIkhA ho gyaa| isI bIca, DhiThAI dekho, vaha mahilA antaHpura kI paridhi aura pAbandI tor3a bAhara A gii| krodhAsura dArogA ke hAthoM ko vanazakti pradAna kara unake prahAra-dvArA sAdhu kI zAnti aura sAdhu ke mukha ko cUra kara dene ko hI thA ki mahilA ne dArogA ke hAthoM ko pakar3a liyA / isa taraha unakI unnati aura unakI icchA meM yaha Akasmika aura avaidha vyavadhAna par3a gyaa| __ mahilA kaha rahI thIM, "chiH ! chiH ! yaha na karo / bahuta mAra liyA / aba yaha calA jAyagA |...jaa, bhAI jA,...are, jA na / ...chor3o-chor3o, kyA isapara hAtha chor3ate ho ? ye isake lAyaka bhI to nahIM, nAcIz2a |...aao, aao|...jaare, haTa, bhAga jA..." lekina yaha saba kaha na pAne kA avakAza unheM nahIM diyA gyaa| krodha ke pUrNa svarAjya meM bAteM karane, sunane-samajhane kI itanI phursata nahIM rhtii| unhoMne eka jhaTake se hAtha chur3AyA, usa hAtha se mahilA ke kezoM ko pakar3A aura pairoM ko prahAra karane ke lie svatantra kara diyA / sAtha hI mukha se vaha anargala aura azlIla vAk-pravAha jArI kiyA, jisakA paricaya pAne kI Apako icchA nahIM hogI

Page #16
sAdhu kI haTha aura mujhe bhI sAhasa nahIM hai| kintu usase yaha bahuta aMza taka siddha hotA thA ki patnI ke Upara jo sampUrNa svatvAdhikAra dharma aura kAnUna kI sahAyatA se unhoMne pAyA hai, usako vaha akSuNNa banAye rakkheMge, cAhe aisI-aisI dasa jUtiyoM ko badalanA aura pheMkanA kyoM na par3e, aura cAhe unheM khuda hI kyoM na maranA par3e, aura yadi vaha apanI vaphAdArI sampUrNa, surakSita aura una dArogA kI bhakti meM sarvataH saMcita nahIM rakkhegI, to usakI boTI-boTI kA patA na calegA aura sAdhu ke prati usa kambakhta ke jo bhAva haiM, unheM vaha khUba jAnate haiM aura sadA yAda rakkheMge aura unakA majA aura pariNAma vaha ucita rUpa meM usa kambakhta ko dete rhege| mAra jabaradasta pdd'ii| sAdhu avicala khar3A dekha rahA thA ki jo mAra kadAcit bhAgya ne usake lie bhejI thI, jo usake hisse kI thI, yaha mahilA bIca hI meM antaHpura se Akara use apane Upara le letI hai| mAno yaha bhI usa vipada-haraNa saMkaTa-mocana paramezvara ke anurUpa hai, jinhoMne jagat ko jahara se bacAne ke lie use kaNTha meM dhAraNa kara liyA / usa mA~ ke prati sAdhu ke hRdaya meM dayA kyA uThatI, bhakti utthii| vaha binA hile-Dule, niSkAma, krodha ke paMje meM Abaddha avaza komalatA ke isa dRzya ko dekhatA rhaa| kintu mahilA ko isakI cintA thii| unheM khaTakA thA ki kahIM pati phira sAdhu kI ora mur3a par3eM aura usa becAre ko khvAmakhvAha aura na mAreM; isalie piTate-piTate kaI bAra unhoMne sakhta zabdoM meM sAdhu se bhAga jAne kA anurodha kiyA / ___ sAdhu isa para turanta na calA gyaa| hA~, ina anurodhoM kA pariNAma yaha avazya huA ki patideva ke kopAnala ko aura-aura Ahuti milI aura mahilA para aura-aura tIkhI mAra pdd'ii| anta meM mahilA ne cillAkara kahA, "aura kitanA piTavAegA, maravA hI DAlegA kyA, kambakhta ? calA kyoM nahIM jAtA, jo maiM baca jaauuN|"

Page #17
F jainendra kA kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] sAdhu taba lauTa claa| lekina zAyada krodha kA peTa abhI pUrA na bharA na thA / sAdhu ke mur3ate hI patnI ko chor3a, dArogA udhara bar3he aura pakar3a kara lAtoM aura ghU~soM se sAdhu kI khUba marammata karane lge| usake kapar3e phaTa gaye / jagaha-jagaha nIla ubhara Aye / nAka se lahU yA calA / anta meM sAdhuoM ke sambandha meM kucha atyanta upayogI udgAroM kI udghoSaNA ke sAtha aura vibhinna bhA~ti kI kara-pada- prahAra- pUjA ke sAtha sAdhu ko dvAra - bAhara kara diyA gayA / 2 : usane phira bhIkha nahIM lii| sIdhA apane sthAna para A gayA / zahara ke bAhara eka devAlaya thA / vahA~ kutra thA aura nikaTa hI eka tidarI-sI banI thI / na jAne kahA~ se Akara Aja usane baserA DAlA thA / hAtha-mu~ha dhokara, lahU se apane ko svaccha kiyA / kapar3e para jahA~ lahU ke dAg2a the, unheM dho DAlA aura apane saMkSipta sAmAna meM se suI-dhAgA nikAla phaTe vastroM ko sI liyA / ye Avazyaka kArya karane ke bAda vaha apane kuzAsana para A baiThA / yaha Aja kyA ho gayA ? kyoM ho gayA ? kyoM usa vyakti ko krodha kI preraNA prApta huI ? kahA~ se prApta huI ? mujhe dekhakara kyoM usameM krodha hI ukasA ? mujhe dekhakara kyoM nahIM usameM koI komala bhAvanAe~ jAgIM ?... mere vyaktitva ne usameM krodha sulagAyA, krodha bhar3akAyA ?... Aha, mujha meM se zAnti kI sphUrti use kyoM nahIM milI ?... kaise ho ki mujha se pratyeka zAnti hI pAye, Ananda hI anubhava kare ? apane meM se kyA kATa phekU~ ki oche bhAva mujhe kAraNa banA kara dUsaroM meM jAgRta hI na ho sakeM ? maiM kaba aisA banU~gA ? kyA aisA bana sakU~gA ?... Aha, apane isa hona

Page #18
sAdhu kI haTha vyaktitva ko kahA~ le jAU~, jise samakSa pAkara logoM ko gussA uThatA hai ? kyA karU~ ? oha bhagavan , kyA karU~ ?... baiThe-baiThe sAdhu kI AkheM mica gaI, aura unameM se A~sU zrA ddhrke| "oha prabhu, kyA maiMne nahIM cAhA ki vaha saba-kucha mujha meM se miTa jAya, jo terA nahIM hai ? kyA apane ko tujhe sauMpa-kara tujha se nahIM prArthanA kI, ki mujha meM, mere roma-roma meM, mere aNu-aNu meM, tU aisA rama baiTha ki kisI aura bhAva ko kahIM sthAna hI na rahe ? tU mujhe apanA svIkAra kara le / kyA maiMne tujhe rokara apanI AtmA ke ardhya kI aMjali ko terI svIkRti ke samakSa liye baiThakara, tujhe sau-sau bAra, hara-hara bAra, vizvAsa nahIM dilAyA ki samidhA kI bhA~ti yajJa ke hutAzana meM bhasma hokara bhI maiM tujha meM hI pahu~canA cAhatA hU~ ? oha, maiM kyA karU~, batA ? tU ho Azraya hai| tujhase hI prArthanA karanA maiM jAnatA huuN| saba-kucha khokara maiMne bar3e yatna se yaha prArthanA sIkhI hai| aba to mere lie terI yaha prArthanA hI saba-kucha hai / yahI prema hai, yahI zreya hai, yahI jJAna hai / yahI merI sAdhanA hai, aura yahI merI sAdhanA kA sAdhya hai / prabhu, bhagavana, maiM aisA nahIM rahanA cAhatA / maiM bilakula terA ho rahanA cAhatA huuN| mere,roma-roma se hareka tujhe hI prApta kare, terI hI sphUrti pAye; kisI ko mujha se krodha kI preraNA na mila sake / merI yaha prArthanA kyA tU nahIM sunatA, mere mAlika ? mere vyaktitva ko cIra-cIra karake, katara-katara karake, vaha aMza dekha le aura mujhe dikhalA de, jo tere anukUla abhI nahIM ho pAyA hai / maiM use daNDita karU~gA, anuzAsita karU~gA / AjJA de, maiM use bhasma kara dUMgA / ... maiM zapatha karatA hU~, maiM tere samIpaM svIkRta hokara rahU~gA, tere darzana karake hI choDgA , sampUrNa rUpa se mujhe apanA banA liye bagaira maiM tujhe chuTTI nahIM lene duuNgaa|....mujhe

Page #19
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] AjJA de, maiM saba-kucha chor3a duuNgaa| terI rAha meM kyA maiMne sampadA nahIM chor3I ? strI nahIM chor3I ? putra-kalatra nahIM chor3e ? ghara-bAra saba-kucha nahIM chor3A ? saba jisake lie chor3A, use nahIM chor3egA aura tU bhI mujhe nahIM chor3a skegaa| basa kaha bhara de, batA bhara de ki tere sivA abhI kucha aura bhI mere sAtha lagA hai| saca mAna, maiM use chor3ane meM dera nahIM lagAU~gA / phira kyA maiM samajhatA nahIM ki jise maiM chor3anA kahatA hU~ vaha chor3anA nahIM, pAnA hai|...kyoN maiMne kucha chor3A ? dhana kyoM chor3A ? kyA isIlie nahIM ki jaba maiM use apanA samajhatA thA, taba aura bhI apanA samajhanA aura banA lenA cAhate the aura isa taraha mujha meM lobha, darpa aura dambha paidA hote the| aura auroM meM lAlaca, corI, jhUTha aura chala paidA hote the| usase logoM meM terI nahIM, tujha se vimukha pravRtti hotI thii| tujha se haTa kara merI usa para A~kha rahatI thI, aura tere putroM aura apane bhAiyoM ko vizuddha prema se maiM nahIM dekha sakatA thA;-yA sandeha aura bhaya se unheM dekhatA thA, yA kRpA aura anugraha ke saath| auroM kI A~kha tujha se vimukha hokara usa para gar3I rahatI thI; aura ve mujhe apane bhAI ko yA to bhaya, AzaGkA aura khuzAmada se, nahIM to dveSa, IrSyA aura pravaMcakatA se hI dekha sakate the / usa avasthA meM usase aura mujha se, mujhe aura auroM ko bhI pApa kI preraNA milatI thI / strI kyoM chor3I, aura saba-kucha kyoM chor3A ? kyA isIlie nahIM ki maiM azubha pravRttiyoM aura udvegoM kA kAraNa aura kendra hone se baca jAU~ ? kucha se apanepana kA mohamizrita pyAra aura zeSa se dveSa karane kI lAcArI se chUTa jAU~ ? azeSataH tujha meM ho jAU~ ? lekina mAlika mere, Aja yaha kyA hotA hai ? saba-kucha chor3a baiThA hU~, phira bhI pahale ghara meM jisameM bhIkha mA~gane pahu~catA hU~, dveSa, krodha aura kalaha macane kA kAraNa banatA huuN| vaha chor3anA paryApta nahIM; zAyada usa taraha kA chor3anA jarUrI bhI

Page #20
sAdhu kI haTha na ho; lekina batA kyA karU~ ? tere batAne ke hI Asare hU~, tujhe chor3a aura kahA~ jAU~gA ?... usa gandagI ko, usa mAyA ko, usa moha ko aura vidyA ko u~galI rakhakara batalA de, jo mujha meM chipI baiThI hai / jahA~ terA prakAza abhI nahIM phailA hai / jahA~ a~dherA hai / ... maiM kyA karU~, jisase vaha vyakti usa krodha ke pariNAma se dhula jAya, jo mere kAraNa usameM paidA huA hai ? usa becAre kA aparAdha nahIM / truTi mujha meM hI hai, jisase vaha aparAdha usase sambhava huA / use pazcAttApa hogA, use kSobha hogA, use khyAla hogA ki usane vyartha apanI patnI ko pITA - usakI AtmA para eka bhArI bojha sA rahegA / vaha bojha usa para kyoM rahe? kyA karU~ ki usakI AtmA para se yaha bojha uTha jAya; kyoM maine hI vaha bojha vahA~ rakhA hai| apanI truTi ke pariNAma ko miTA denA hogA; usakI AtmA ko Atma-pIr3ana aura zrAtma-trAsa ke bhAra se halkA kara denA hogA, para mAlika mere, batA usake lie kyA karanA hogA ?... maiM tujhase hI pUchUMgA / ... maiM tujha se saba kucha pUchUMgA / tU saba kucha karatA hai aura saba acchA karatA hai / yaha to ThIka hai ki maiM pITA gayA / jisa gusse ko maiMne jagAyA, vaha mujhe jhelanA aura mujha para hI phUTanA cAhie thA / agara maiM gussA paidA kara sakatA hU~, usa gusse kI mAra bhI jarUra mujha para par3anI cAhie; lekina usa mAtA ko kyoM tU piTane de sakA ? kyA maiM bhUlU~ usa dRzya ko ? hRdaya kI sahAnubhUti usakA aparAdha thA; kintu yaha auroM ke sukha-dukhoM ko apanA anubhava karane kI kSamatA kI eka sampadA hI to tUne mAnavI hRdaya ko dI hai, vahI usa mAtA ke lie vipadA bana gaI !... yaha kyA huA ? yaha kyoM huA ? maiM bhUle nahIM bhUlU~gA - usa mA~ kI vaha mUrti, jaba mAra khAte-khAte bhI mujhe hI bacAne kI soca rahI thiiN| kaThina upasarga meM bhI jo tere mArga para ar3I rahIM / jinhoMne terI sampadA kI rakSA kii| jinhoMne use krodha w

Page #21
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] ke hAthoM hArane aura chinane nahIM diyA...oha, krodha ke prahAra merI mA~ para kyoM hue ? usa sabakA doSI kyA maiM hI nahIM hU~ ? kyoMki usa krodha kI jar3a merI truTi meM hai |...haaN, maiM hI usakA doSI huuN|... oha, mAlika, kaisA avahanIya yaha merA doSa hai ? isase, bhItara apane Upara bar3I glAni upajatI hai| prabhu, isase kaise merA uddhAra hogA ?-oha, aba maiM samajhA / terI dayA aparampAra hai| tUne mA~ ko isIlie bIca meM bhejA ki maiM dekha lU~ ki merI truTi kitanI bhISaNa hai aura vaha kaise atyAcAra ko janma de sakatI hai| zroha ! maiM yaha sAfa dekhatA huuN| maiM saha nahIM sktaa| mere bhItara baiThA vaha rAkSasa yoM dUsaroM ke hAthoM duSkRtya banakara spaSTa apanI pUrI bhISaNatA meM mere sAmane A khar3A huA hai| oha, mujhase dekhA nahIM jAtA, jhelA nahIM jAtA / merA isase uddhAra kara, trANa de / isako mujha meM se ukhAr3a pheMka / oha, mAlika, maiM ise aba choTA samajhane kI bhUla nahIM kruuNgaa| mA~ ke rUpa meM jo apanI truTi ke uttaradAyitva ke bhArIpana kI dIkSA Aga ke aura A~sU ke akSaroM meM tUne mere bhItara khIMca dI hai, use bhulAU~gA nhiiN|...oh, merI rakSA kara / sampUrNataH apanA banA le / terA pratirUpa, tU hI hokara maiM vahA~ vicruuN| basa eka dhabbA rahU~ jo ki terI zuddhatA se zuddha ho, jo svayaM kucha bhI na ho, zUnya ho; jo basa tujhe cInhane ke lie cinha ho, yAda karane ke lie AdhAra ho| maiM vaha rahU~ jo sadA terI yAda dilAye, tujhe prakAzita kare, tujhe pratiSThita kare, tujhe sampanna kare, tujhase jo abhinna hokara rahe jaba agale roz2a vaha sAdhu phira ThIka usI vakta, dvAra para dotIna sadA dene ke bAda, bhIkha mA~gane andara calA AyA, to una mahilA ko bar3A acaraja huaa| AzaMkA bhI huI / vaha niyamita

Page #22
sAdhu kI haTha rUpa meM antaHpura meM thIM / sAdhu kA yoM jAna-bUjhakara vipada meM bhItara ghusa AnA, unakI samajha meM na aayaa| vaha bAhara dAlAna meM zrA gaI aura bolIM-"bAbA, tU yahA~ phira kyoM Aphata uThAne calA AyA ? kala kyA kama mAra par3I thI ? yA mujha para jo mAra par3I, use kama samajhatA hai ?" ___ sAdhu ne kahA, "maiM aba yaha ghara chor3akara aura kahIM se kaise bhIkha le sakatA hU~, mAI / Aja kyA, kala kyA, AtA hI rhuuNgaa| kisI ko nArAja karake aura nArAja chor3akara jAU~gA, to apane mAlika ko kaise muMha dikhAU~gA ? jinakI krodha kI mAra khAI, unhIM ke chipe prema ke Tukar3e khAU~gA / isake pahale merA santoSa kaise hogA? vaha kahA~ gaye haiM ?..." ____ sAdhu kI yaha bAta to pUrI taraha samajha meM nahIM AI; lekina jaise jI ko chU gaI / mastiSka ke vivecana meM to vaha AtI bhI kaise ? lekina nArI-hRdaya kI vINA ke eka tAra ko sAdhu ke zabda kI dhvani ke saMgIta ne jAkara eka mRdu AghAta diyA aura vahA~ se ArdratA kI eka lahara upasthita hokara kA~patI huI mahilA kI samagra AtmA meM aura vahA~ se phira sAre vAta-valaya meM phaila gii| . mahilA ne kahA, "kAma se gaye haiN| zrAdha-pauna ghaMTe meM Ate hoMge; lekina tuma kyoM cale Aye ? merI bAta mAno, jaldI cale jAo / mujhe apanI phikara nahIM, lekina tuma nAhaqa kyoM muzkila meM par3ate ho ? unakI Adata tuma jAnate nhiiN| bar3e zakkI haiN| vaise bar3e acche haiM, para zaka bar3I jaldI kara lete haiN| aisI hAlata meM phira zrApA bhUla jAte haiM, aura na jAne vaha kyA-kyA kara baiThate haiN| maiM kahatI hU~, bhaI, tuma cale jAo / mujhe bar3A khaTakA lagA hai / kala kI hI bAta para merA jI bar3A dukha rahA hai / dekho, maiM tuma se kahatI hU~ ki tuma merI tarapha dekhakara unheM mApha kara denaa| una para nahIM to mujha para tarasa khAkara unheM mApha kara denA / jo ho

Page #23
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] gayA, use yAda mata rakhanA aura unakI tarapha se kucha burAI mana meM mata lAnA / vaha kyA kareM, Adata se lAcAra haiN| vaha na jAne kabhI-kabhI kisa ke basa meM ho jAte haiM, so yaha socakara kala kI bAta mana meM na biThAnA / aura dekho, aba tuma cale jAo / vaha Akara tumheM dekheMge, to gussA ho sakate haiM / vaha aise hI haiN| so, tuma mujha para meharabAnI karake cale jaao|" ___sAdhu ne kahA, "maiM bAhara daravAje para baiThatA huuN| Adha ghaNTe meM vaha AyeMge na ? maiM ghaNTe bhara taka baiTha sakatA huuN| unake hAtha ke muhabbata ke Tukar3e pAkara hI maiM maanuuNgaa|" sAdhu mur3ane ko huaa| mahilA ne rokate hue kahA, "bAhara baiThoge? bAhara kyoM baiThoge? nahIM, cale jAo, yahA~ mata raho / tuma mujha para tarasa nahIM kara sakate ? mujha para tarasa khAkara merI yaha bAta nahIM mAna sakate ? aisI tumheM kyA jida hai ? mere ghara meM jo khAne ko hai, maiM saba tumheM detI hU~ phira tuma yahA~ Thaharoge kisa vAste ? rahama karo, hAtha jor3atI hU~; cale jaao|" sAdhu ne kahA, "calA to jAU~gA ho, lekina eka ghaNTA Thahara sakatA huuN| aura tumhArA diyA lene se to merA jI mAnegA nhiiN| mujhe to vaha deMge aura pyAra se deNge| vahI deM, isakA mujhe bar3A lAlaca hai| kyoMki kala kI bAta ko maiM bhUla jAU~, mere lie yahI kAphI nahIM hai; vaha bhI bhUla jAya~, isakA bhI intajAma mujhe hI karanA hai; kyoMki kasUra daraasala merA thaa|" ___ mahilA ne dekhA, sAdhu kA tarka aura sAdhu kA irAdA sAdhAraNa nahIM hai / lekina pati kI ora se unake jI meM khaTakA khaTaka hI rahA hai| bolI, "maiM tumheM aba kaise samajhA kara kahU~ ? yaha maiM tumhAre lie nahIM, apane lie kaha rahI huuN| apane lie isalie kaha rahI hU~ ki jisase unheM phira aisA gunAha karane kA maukA na mile / tumheM dekhakara vaha apane basa meM na rahe aura kucha kara baiThe,

Page #24
sAdhu kI haTha to isase tumheM kyA phAyadA hogA, aura una para pApa cddh'egaa| maiM isI se kahatI hU~, khudA ke lie tuma cale jaao|" sAdhu ne kahA, "agara khudA mujha se abhI taka nArAja haiM, abhI taka nApAka hU~, tabhI aisA hogA ki merI vajaha se kisI se bejA kAma ho ske| aura taba aisA honA ThIka bhI hai; kyoMki taba mujhe khudA kI ibAdata kI jarUrata kA eka sabUta aura milegaa|" ___ mahilA ne kahA, "agara tuma merI bAta nahIM mAna sakate, merI bhIkha bhI nahIM le sakate, to maiM kahatI hU~ ki tumhArA yahA~ koI kAma nahIM hai / aura merI darakhvAsta nahIM mAnate, to mujhe ghara kI mAlikana kI haisiyata se kahanA par3atA hai ki tuma yahA~ se cale jaao|" mahilA ne yaha kyoM kahA? sAdhu ko calanA thA hI, calane lgaa| lekina mahilA ne rokakara kahA, "jAte kahA~ ho jI ? kauna kahatA hai tumheM jAne ko ? Thaharo, mujhe eka kAma hai tuma se, jAnA mata, maiM abhI aaii| kahakara vaha andara calI gii| sAdhu rukakara sthira khar3A rhaa| itane meM eka darI lekara vaha AIM, use bichA diyA, kahA, "Thaharoge hI, to Thaharo; aura ArAma se yahA~ baittho| bAhara kyoM baiThoge? vaha AyeMge aura dekheMge hI to dekheN| lekina bAhara daravAje para baiThane kA kyA matalaba hai ? maiM unase kaha dUMgI ki maiMne hI baiThAyA hai / kucha harja hai baiThAne meM ?" lekina sAdhu khar3A hI rhaa| mahilA ne kahA, "baittho| baiThate kyoM nahIM ? pasopeza mata kro| yaha badakismatI hai ki tuma kucha khAoge nhiiN| merI bAta tumane kucha nahIM maanii| maiMne cale jAne kI darakhvAsta kI, tumane Thaharane hI kA phaisalA rakhA / bhIkha ke lie Aye; maiM kucha detI hU~, to inkAra karate ho / aba tumhAre

Page #25
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] Thaharane kI rAjI meM rAjI hokara yahA~ baiThane ko kahatI huuN|baittho-baittho yoM khar3e na rho|" sAdhu ne kahA, "dikkata uThAne se pahale mujha se pUcha kyoM na liyA ? maiM yahA~ kaise baiTha sakatA hU~ ? mujhe to daravAje para hI baiThanA hogaa|" aura yaha kahakara vaha daravAje kI ora mur3a liyaa| mahilA apanI AzA meM itanI nirAza huI ki bola nahIM sUjhA, dekhatI rhiiN| sAdhu bAhara ho gayA ki vaha lauTa AI aura kArya meM vyasta hone kI ceSTA karane lgiiN| __kaI bAra daravAje para dikhvaayaa| sAdhu prakRtistha pratIkSA meM baiThA thaa| aura vaha kisI-na-kisI kAma meM lage rahane kI ceSTA kara rahI thIM; lekina dArogA Aye nhiiN| aba to ghaNTA bhara hone aayaa| unheM kyA huA, kyoM nahIM Aye ? sAdhu ko bar3I dikata huii| pA~ca minaTa pahale hI naukara sAdhu ke yathAvat baiThA hone kI khabara dekara gayA thA ki phira se dekhane bhejA gyaa| lekina aba vahA~ sAdhu na thaa| naukara ne yaha sUcanA unheM lAkara de dii| vaha 'acchA' kahakara naukara ko vidA de, hAtha kA kAma chor3a kamare meM tanika tIvra gati se Tahalane laga gii| :4: dArogA jaldI kyoM nahIM lauTa sake, isakA ThIka kAraNa batalAnA kaThina hai / lekina ghara jAne ko jaldI jI nahIM hotaa| jaise ghara meM patnI kA mukAbilA hogA, so kaise hogA, mana kA yaha soca unheM ghara se dUra hI rahane ko kahatA hai / krodha kA nazA jaba se utarA, taba se tabIyata girI-sI rahatI hai / mana kucha khAlI-khAlIsA lagatA hai, aura vaha sIdhA hokara nahIM baiTha sakatA, ThIka taura

Page #26
sAdhu kI haTha 15 para kisI kAma meM nahIM lgtaa| jaise bhItara se kucha sukha nahIM mila rahA ho, aura mana jaise sukha ke abhAva, bhItara ke isa abhAvamaya zUnya ( void) ke cAroM ora hI ma~DarA rahA ho| use vyasta rakhanA kaThina hai, aura vaha vyastatA cAhatA hai / vyastatA DhU~Dhane meM aura kucha nahIM, to vaha aise bahAne pA aura banA lenA cAhatA hai ki jinake kAraNa phira nazA car3ha jAya / yaha hAlata hotI hai, jahA~ nazebAja ko phira naze kI hirasa satAtI hai / girI tabIyata kA sAmanA usase nahIM kiyA jA sakatA aura phira pahale kI naze kI hAlata ke AmantraNa aura AkarSaNa meM vaha A~kha mIMca kara baha par3ane ko taiyAra ho jAtA hai| dArogA mAno apane krodha ke kAraNa DhUMDha rahe haiN| apane ko bahalAne ko mana yaha kAma nikAla letA hai; kyoMki krodha antara meM jo eka gaharA rikta chor3a gayA hai, usameM jhA~kane meM darda aura Dara hotA hai, aura jhA~ka kara kucha hAtha nahIM AtA / yaha bhI nahIM ho sakatA ki isa rikta ke sambandha meM cintita na hoM; kyoMki kahIM rikta qAyama rahane dene kI chUTa prakRti ne apane niyama meM nahIM rakhI hai| yaha kAma yatnapUrvaka, jAna-bUjhakara karane kI unameM kSamatA nahIM hai / isase saste naze meM pha~sakara isa khAlIpana ke bhAva (Consciousness) se trANa pAne kI ora svabhAvataH unakI vRtti huI hai / unheM apane bacAva karane kI AvazyakatA hotI hai; kyoMki eka taraha kA asantoSa unheM apane Apako doSI manavAnA cAhatA hai / vaha isake virodha meM tarka dU~Dhate haiM, aura isa nizcaya para A jAnA cAhate haiM, ki jo kiyA usameM koI harja nahIM hai / jo asantoSa bhItara se roSa banatA huA-sA uThatA hai, usakI coTa Apa hI apane Upara nahIM lagane denA cAhate, buddhi ke z2ora se use mor3akara sAdhu aura apanI patnI ke Upara DhAla denA cAhate haiM / isameM kucha kRta-kArya hote haiM, kucha asaphala hote haiM, aura isa dvandvAvasthA se tana hote haiM / jaise do ora se 1

Page #27
jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] unakA citta aisA khiMca rahA hai ki basa 'bAhi' pukAra rahA ho| kucha kAma se ghara chor3akara agara Aye bhI the, to unheM usakA dhyAna na thaa| taba se hI jaba se sAdhu ghara se TalA, aura krodha kA jo jvAra AyA thA, vaha utarane ko lAcAra ho gayA, aura patnI unheM apane se nibaTane ko svatantra chor3a apane kamare meM Akara palaMga para par3a gaI taba se hI kucha kAma pAkara isa ghara se nikala jAne kI unheM jaldI thii| taba se hI vaha bAjAra meM kabhI isase mila aura usase bola, kabhI yaha kara aura kabhI vaha kara, isa taraha, binA krama aura paddhati ke ghara ke bAhara samaya kATane meM laga gaye the| cupacApa zAma kA khAnA khAkara, apane ko phursata na dene ke khyAla se phira yAra-dostoM meM pahu~ca gaye the| atyanta ucchaGkala Ananda meM apane ko vaha vahA~ bhulAye rahe the / bahuta rAta bIte aisI hAlata meM ghara pahu~ce the, jisase nIMda A jAne meM dera na lage aura idhara-udhara kI bAtoM ko taMga karane kA avakAza na mile / Akhira agalA dina jaba A hI gayA aura nIMda, jo bahuta dera meM unhoMne tor3I, TUTa hI gaI aura ghara meM kiye jAne vAle nitya-naimittika karma bhI samApta ho hI gaye, taba phira ghara se bAhara nikala gaye / kaha gaye, jaldI hI lauTUMgA; lekina bAhara jAkara jaldI lauTane kI cAha na rahI, cAha to kahate vakta bhI na thii| patnI ne bhI isa sambandha meM dhokhA na khAyA / pahale to unheM AzA thI ki pati ko apane kRtya para atApa hogA aura vaha zA~ti aura kSamA kI yAcanA karane unake pAsa Ae~ge / yaha AzA bilakula na hotI, to vaha sIdhI jAkara palaMga para na par3a sakatI; kintu yaha AzA jisameM rasa thA, jo phUla kI taraha A~sU, yA zrosa ke eka kaNa kA abhiSeka pAne ke lie, udyata-mukha, mukulita AkA~kSA mana meM dubakAye, apane saubhAgya-cumbana kI pratIkSA meM yoM cupacApa eka ora zrAkara baiTha gaI thI, vaha AzA atRpta raha

Page #28
sAdhu ko haTha kara kuNThita ho gii| masa-pandraha minaTa ho gaye, to patnI samajha gaI, aba vaha na Ae~ge aura akele bhI na raheMge, vaha aba yAradostoM meM phuNceNge| vaha usa AzA ke zava ko mana meM lekara kAma meM laga gii| unheM sandeha nahIM rahA ki jaba taka bAdala koI Takara pAkara pAnI banakara barasegA nahIM, taba taka pati use dostoM kI cuhala aura kAmoM kI vyastatA meM hI ur3A denA caaheNge| anutApa, jo pati ko khIMca kara unake caraNoM meM lA sakatA thA, jaba unake paira oThoM se cUme jAte A~suoM se dhoye jAte aura vaha prema kI sisaka meM pAnI bana kara baha jAtA,-usa anutApa se aba aura hI rAha se chuTTI pAne kI koziza kI jA rahI hai, use Amoda meM ur3AyA jAyagA aura zarAba meM bahAyA jaaygaa| yaha socatI thIM aura mana meM kar3avAhaTa phailatI thii| vaha apane kAma meM lagI rahIM, jaise pati kI ora se bilakula udAsIna ho / unako cher3ane yA unako mor3ane kI unhoMne ceSTA nahIM kI, jaise usa prakAra kI unheM cintA yA icchA nahIM hai| cAho to aura mAra sakate ho; lekina mujhe tumase kucha matalaba nahIM isa bhAva se vaha hareka kAma karane lgiiN| lekina agale dina A pahu~cA vaha sAdhu phira / taba vaha nArisulabha komalatA, jo pati ke durAcAra aura dussAhasa se Thesa pAkara bhItara bekala ho rahI thI, anurUpa AdhAra pAkara vyakta hone lgii| usane apane ko sAdhu ke prati anukampA aura usakI rakSA ke prati vyagra sacintatA se bharA pAyA / usane isIlie sAdhu ko aise anurodha-pUrvaka cale jAne ko kahA, lekina sAdhu gayA nhiiN| taba pati ke prati jo kar3avAhaTa usameM phaila rahI thI, usane sAdhu ko Thaharane ke nizcaya meM eka saMyoga dekhA / kucha aisA bhAva ki hA~, maiM baiThAtI hU~, kaheM to-kaheM, kareM-so-kareM-usake bhItara gudagudI macAtA huA huA uTha aayaa| jaise apane prati apane vizvAsa aura pati ke

Page #29
18 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] avizvAsa ko, isa mauqe ko bIca meM DAla kara Apasa meM lar3Akara, apanI vizvasanIyatA aura apanI haTha kAyama karane kI spardhA kIsAha use ho AI / taba usane sAdhu ko baiThAne meM sahamati nahIM, utsuka abhilASA pradarzita kI; lekina so bhI na huA / sAdhu bhItara nahIM baiThA, dvAra para calA gyaa| phira yahI socakara use kucha sukha milA ki vaha Ae~ge, sAdhu ko baiThA dekhakara bigar3eMge; lekina kyA kara leMge ? lekina sAdhu calA gayA aura vaha nahIM Aye | yaha tRpti bhI use na milI / taba usane socA ki unake Ate hI maiM saba kaha dU~gI / kahU~gI ki maiMne use baiThane ko kahA thA aura vaha ghaMTA bhara yahA~ baiThA rahA ! : 5 : Akhira khAne ke vakta vaha Aye / khA rahe the, usI samaya patnI ne sUcanA dI, "vaha phakIra phira zrAyA thA / " vaha usI taraha mauna - pUrvaka khAne meM saMlagna rahe / "... aura maiMne use tumhAre lie baiThAye rakkhA...." pati ne kahA, "usake Ane kA kyA kAma thA ? usakI zAmata hI khIMca lAI hogii|" strI ne kahA, "aura maiMne ise saba kucha diyA..." " to mujhase kyA bakhAnane baiThI ho ? jaise bar3A sabAba kiyA / " "... lekina usane kucha nahIM liyA / " pati cupa / "aura maiMne use yahA~ darI bichAkara baiThAyA...' "" " ""to maiM kyA karU~ ? bar3I tArIpha kA kAma kiyA na ?" "lekina vaha baiThA nhiiN| vaha daravAje ke bAhara baiThA rahA / " pati phira capa ho gaye / yaha saba bAteM aisI lagIM, jaise unake

Page #30
sAdhu kI haTha 16 / faisale ko kATa rahI hoM unake phaisale kA AdhAra thA ki sAdhu badamAza hai, badanIyatI se AyA thaa| yaha bAteM isake khilApha jAtI mAlUma hotI haiN| usa AdhAra para AghAta karatIM aura use khisakAtI haiN| strI ne kahA, "suno| tuma cAhe kucha samajho, vaha sAdhu vaisA nahIM hai| vaha kahatA thA ki vaha tumhAre hAtha se hI kucha legA / jaba taka tuma use nahIM de doge, taba taka kisI se kucha legA hI nhiiN| vaha to aisA hai aura tuma aise ho ki jarA-sI bAta para use itanA mArA aura mujhe itanA mArA / jarA-sI bAta para gusse ho jAte ho / ... " "hA~, ho jAtA hU~ gusse..." "lo, itanI-sI hI bAta para bigar3ane lage / " "hA~ bigar3ane lagA / to tumhArA kyA ? tumhArI sIkha to khatama ho gaI !" "maiM sIkha kyA dU~gI ? khuda socoge, to yahI ThIka lagegA / yoM bigar3ane laganA acchA nahIM hotA / " "basa qhatama karo, yaha pacar3A / bahuta huA / ArAma se khAne bhI nahIM dogI ?" "fakIra kaha gayA thA ki vaha kala phira AyegA / jaba taka tumhArI yaha Adata nahIM chUTegI, taba taka zrAtA rahegA / vaha tumhAre sivA aura kahIM se bhIkha nahIM legA / " bAra-bAra yaha fakIra kA rAga sunane ko pati taiyAra nahI haiM / mAnA vaha ThIka hogA; para duniyA kI aura koI bAta hI nahIM rahI usake alAvA, jo unheM isa taraha taMga kiyA jA rahA hai| bole"nahIM legA, basa ! mara jAyagA / --hA~, phakIra, fakIra ! krakIra kyA ho gayA balA ho gaI !" isa taraha apane ko khule rUpa meM prakaTa karake cupa ho gaye /

Page #31
jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] patnI ko nArAja hone kA kAraNa na thA / unheM to eka taraha kA vaisA kucha santoSa mila rahA thA, jaisA bAlaka ko bolane vAle khilaunoM ko pIca kara unheM bulavAne meM / antara yaha thA ki bAlaka ko jJAna nahIM hotA ki usake dabAne aura pakSI ke bolane meM kyA sambandha hai, aura mahilA aisI bAteM sunane hI ke lie cher3a rahI thii| vaha yaha to jAnatI hI thIM ki aba pati ke lie sAdhu ko mAranA utanA sambhava, AsAna aura priya kArya na hogA / jaise pati kA krodha patnI ko zArIrika prahAra dekara tuSTa hotA thA, vaise hI usake evaja meM, usI kA lagabhaga samakakSa, patnI meM eka striyocita bhAva thA, jo pati kI yaha mAnasika kulabulAhaTa aura Akroza dekhakara tuSTi pAtA thA, yA yaha kahie ki abala kA krodha thA jisakA jahara nikAla DAlA gayA thaa| patnI phira aura nahIM bolIM / aura pati usa bhikhArI kI ora atyanta upekSA aura nizcintatA ke kAraNa nahIM, usake kala phira Ane kI sUcanA meM atyanta vyasta-grasta aura ciMtita hone ke kAraNa, kucha nahIM bole / aura khAnA khAkara, daravAje ke barAbara vAlI apanI baiThaka meM Akara baiTha gaye / yaha phakIra kahA~ kA A gayA ? strI ke sAtha aba vaha ThIka taura para bAteM karane lAyaka bhI nahIM rahe / usake sAtha jo abhinna hela-mela kA sambandha thA, usameM tanAva A gayA hai| vaha mAno aba jama gayA hai, aura barpha kI nAI bIca meM par3akara una donoM meM aisA vyAghAta upasthita karatA hai ki samajha nahIM par3atA kase ttuuttegaa| isa antara ko bIca meM pAkara aisA lagatA hai ki unakI strI usa pAra hai aura vaha isa pAra / pahale ghule-mile, abhinna eka dUsare ke prati sarvathA pratyakSa aura khule the na jAne kaise the ? aba jaise vaha alaga ho gaI hai aura yaha alaga raha gaye haiN| aura donoM eka dUsare ke lie ajanabI hue jA rahe haiN|... eka rAha calate

Page #32
sAdhu kI haTha phakIra ko lekara yaha hama logoM ne kyA kara DAlA hai ? hamane kyA, maiMne kiyA hai| usa phakIra ke bahAne ko lekara maiMne jaise strI ko dhakkA dekara dUra kara diyA hai aura aba usa dUrI ko khuda lA~gha kara usake pAsa pahu~cane kA maiM sAhasa nahIM kara rahA huuN| vaha sAdhu hama logoM ke jIvana meM gar3abar3a aura kalaha DAlane na jAne kisa burI sAyata meM calA AyA ki aba pIchA nahIM chor3atA / kala pAyegA, to maiM bAhara-hI-bAhara samajhAkara yA to, nahIM to durusta karake vApasa kara dUMgA, aura lauTakara apane gRhastha-jIvana ke zAnta tala para jo vikSubdhatA pA uThI hai, aura jo salavaTeM par3a gaI haiM, mAphI mA~ga kara yA jaise hogA, unheM ThIka kara duuNgaa| yaha socakara unhoMne kucha sthiratA pAI / agale dina pratIkSA meM rhe| vaha AtA dIkhA, to Age bar3ha rAste meM hI use mile, "kahA~ jAte ho ?" "tumhAre pAsa AtA thA..." "maiM yaha huuN| mujhase tumhArA koI kAma nahIM / maiM kahatA hU~, lauTa jaao|" ___ "bhIkha lene AtA thA / bhIkha nahIM dete, kahate ho lauTa jAo, to lauTa jAtA huuN|" itanA kahakara vaha lauTane ko huaa| "acchA , Thaharo..." vaha Thahara gayA / unhoMne pUchA, "kala taiMne bhIkha kahA~ pAI ?" "tuma to the nahIM ghara para, kisase pAtA ?" "mujhase hI loge?" "aura kisI se kaise le sakatA hU~ ?"

Page #33
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] "maiM na dUM to..." - "bhagavAn kI mrjii|" "bhagavAn kI marjI ! merI marjI nahIM ?" "tumhArI marjI meM bhagavAna kI hI marjI hai|" "maiM na dU~, to tuma bhUkhe rahoge?" "bhagavAn kI marjI pUrI hogii|" "lekina maiM tumase pUchatA hU~, mere ghara Akara kyoM tuma bakher3A karate ho? aura ghara kama haiM, jo tumheM merA hI ghara sUjhA hai ?" / "phakIra ke ghara Ane ko kyoM bakher3A samajhate ho ? phakIra ke lie jaisA tumhArA ghara, vaisA auroM kA ghr|" "nahIM, hinduoM ke yahA~ bahutere ghara haiM..." "phakIra saba kA hotA hai aura phakIra ke saba haiM / hindUmusalamAna duniyAdArI kI bAteM haiM, saccI bAta meM hindU-musalamAna kyA ?" __"lekina tuma yaha kyoM nahIM dekhate ki mere ghara tumhAre Ane se ar3acana par3atI hai, jhaMjhaTa paidA hotI hai ?" "kyoM ar3acana par3ane do, kyoM jhaMjhaTa paidA karo ?" "kyA tuma hama para rahama rakha kara apanI jida nahIM chor3a sakate ?" "yaha jhUThA rahama hogaa| aura merI agara jida bhI ho, to tumhArA isameM nukasAna kyA ?" "dekho, tumhAre pAne ke dina hI aurata para merA hAtha chUTA / tabase hama eka dUsare se ThIka bolane lAyaka nahIM rahe / tuma lauTa jAo, maiM kahatA huuN|" ___ "yaha ThIka hai| isIlie maiM AtA huuN| dekhU, kabataka maiM apane ko isa lAyaka banA pAtA hU~ ki mujhase tumheM gussA na ho|" "acchA yahA~ pAo...."

Page #34
mAdhu kI haTha 23 sAdhu ko sAtha lekara vaha apanI baiThaka meM A gye| "baiTho..." sAdhu eka mor3he para baiTha gyaa| vaha bhI eka kursI para baiTha gye| sAdhu ne kahA, "eka ghaMTe ke bAda mujhe lauTa jAnA hogA / isakA khyAla rkkheN|" dArogA ne kahA, "merI yaha samajha meM nahIM AtA ki tuma kyoM hamAre ghara kA amana tor3ane para tule ho aura kyoM kisI ko tuma kucha-na-kucha dene ko lAcAra karate ho| agara koI kucha nahIM denA cAhatA, nahIM de sakatA, to tumheM isase kyoM jyAdA sarokAra honA cAhie? yaha maiM isalie kahatA hU~ ki tuma samajha kI bAteM karate ho|" sAdhu ne kahA, "jo zAnti, phakIra ke Ane yA cAhane para TUTa jAya, vaha majabUta kAphI nahIM huI; isalie usakI kitanI kImata ho sakatI hai ? aura merI bhIkha kI mA~ga kitanI hai ? do Tukar3e nahIM de sakate, na do, mere lie dila kI muhabbata hI bahuta hai| vaha pA lU~gA, to samajhaMgA jo cAhie thA, pA liyaa| roTI to peTa ke gar3he ko bharane aura isa badana ko jItA rakhane ke lie hai, vaha bhI muhabbata ke sAtha na milI, to kyA milI? aura muhabbata mila gaI, to phira roTI kI kyA bAta hai. ? isa muhabbata kA takAjA to maiM sabase karatA hU~ aura sabase khegaa| isase barI maiM apanI tarapha se to kisI ko na kara sakU~gA / mere lie to duniyA meM yahI eka sarokAra rakhane ke lie cIz2a hai / isI kI mujhe jida hai|" dArogA nirastra ho hogo bajaise pighalane bhI lage / lekina pUchA, "sAdhu kabase hue ? saca-saca btaanaa|" ___ sAdhu ne kahA, "yaha saba jAnakara kyA karoge ? kyoM huA, isake javAba meM yahI kaha sakatA hU~ ki paramAtmA ne cAhA, isalie ho gayA / usane cAhA ki maiM saba jagaha usakI muhabbata kA jalavA dekheM , isalie mujhe isa rAha para lagA diyaa|"

Page #35
24 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] dArogA ne kahA, "acchA, mujhe mApha kara sakate ho ? maiMne tumhArI tarapha bar3A gunAha kiyA hai|" sAdhu ne kahA, "mAfa to vahI karatA hai / aura sacce jI se usase mAphI mA~gI nahIM ki usase pahale hI mApha kara detA hai| saca yaha hai ki zrAdamI khula kara mAphI tabhI mA~ga sakatA hai, jaba vahA~ se use mAphI mila cukI hotI hai| aura maiM ! Aja kitanA khuza hU~, kitanA zukriyA mAnatA hU~ usakA, kaise kahU~ !" ___ dArogA ne kahA, "Apa itane yahA~ baiThe, maiM abhI AtA huuN|" kahakara andara gye| mAno aba aikya meM jo kucha bAdhaka thA, saba-kucha baha gayA hai| sro se kahA, "do dastarakhAna bichAo aura apane kamare meM jaldI taiyArI kro| unheM jyAdA phurasata nahIM hai|" ___ patnI, Anandita-cakita, na samajha sakI, kyA bAta hai, kauna haiM; lekina eka parivartana-jo jaise usake saubhAgyavidhAyaka ne usa ke pati meM sampanna kara diyA hai, vaha kaise chipa sakatA ? pUchA, "aise kauna haiM ?" uttara milA, "kauna-vauna nahIM, jaldI kro| pandraha minaTa meM hama Ate haiN|" patnI uchAha ke sAtha kAma meM lagI, jo uchAha tarkAtIta hai, jo jaise bhItara se uchalA A rahA hai| _____ kamare meM Akara sAdhu se kahA, "Apako bhIkha nahIM dI jaaygii| dAvata dI jAyagI / maiM samajhatA thA, Apa harja aura gar3abar3a paidA karane yahA~ A pahu~ce haiM / jaise hama donoM meM pharka DAlanA ApakA kAma hai; lekina aba aura dekhatA huuN| jaise vaha pharka par3anA hama meM z2arUrI thA, jisase usa pharka ke jariye hama eka-dUsare ko aura acchI taraha dekha sakeM, samajha sakeM aura pA skeN| Apa phraka DAla

Page #36
sAdhu kI haTha 25 kara hameM aura majabUtI se milAne ke lie ThIka saMyoga se yahA~ A pahu~ce, aba mujhe isameM sandeha nahIM mAlUma hotA / " sAdhu ne kahA, "yaha to kahanA kaThina hai ki kyA kisa matalaba se hotA hai / kyoMki paramAtmA kA rAjya itanA bar3A hai aura hama usa ke jarre ke jarre se bhI itane nanhe haiM ki usake intajAma ko nahIM samajha sakate; lekina hama majabUtI se dila meM yaha rakha leM ki saba paramAtmA karate haiM aura vaha dayAlu haiN| aura jo kucha hotA hai, use ceSTA karake apanI unnati ke anukUla rUpa meM dekheM aura samajheM / vAsanA ko bIca meM DAlakara apane ko taMga na kreN| bAhara se bAta meM kucha bhI pharka nahIM par3A; lekina parasoM se mere Ane ko jisa rUpa meM dekhate the aura apane ko taMga karate the, Aja vaise nahIM dekhate aura khuza ho yAnI mujha meM, khuda meM na to tumheM khuza karane kI koI siphta hai aura na raMja meM DAlane kI / lekina phira bhI tuma raMja meM the aura aba khuza ho| maiM vahI hU~, merA AnA vaisA hI hai, phira bhI tumhAre najadIka bahuta bheda par3a gayA / isalie isa vizvAsa meM majabUtI se nivAsa karoge ki saba kucha vaha karatA hai, to vAharI cIz2a aisI nahIM raha jAyagI, jo tumhArI zAnti ko tor3a sake; taba tumhArI zAnti aisI nirmala, dRr3ha aura prakRtistha ho jAyagI / ..." itane meM bhojana ke lie bulAhaTa ho gaI / dArogA ne kahA, " Apako mere pAsa baiThakara khAne meM etarAz2a na hogA, mujhe ummIda hai|" sAdhu ne kahA, "etarAja to mujhe kisI ke bhI sAtha baiThakara khAne meM honA cAhie / jholI meM DAlakara le jAne aura apane sthAna para khAne kI hI Adata mujhe pasanda hai; lekina Aja maiM tuma ko apane isa etarAja se nahIM DarAU~gA / hA~, khAne kI cIjoM meM kucha khyAla rakhatA hU~ / " 1

Page #37
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] dArogA ne kahA, "usa khyAla kA to mujhe bhI khyAla rahatA hai| ."to clie|" donoM baiThaka se nikala kara cale / jaba sAdhu ne dekhA-unheM 'andara' le jAyA jA rahA hai, to use tanika vismaya huA, saMkoca bhii| pUchA, "kahA~ le jA rahe ho ?..." : dArogA ne kahA, "calie / phikra na kiijie| Apake lie kahIM roka na hogii| Apa to usake haiM, jo saba jagaha hai|" __ mahilA ne dekhA, to vismaya aura harSa kA ThikAnA na rahA / jo cAhatI thIM, vaha saba yoM anAyAsa pati meM kaba aura kisa taraha ghaTita ho gayA ! unhoMne jisa kRtArtha aura dhanya-bhAva se khilAyA, vaha varNana meM nahIM pA sktaa| sAdhu ne mAnoM unheM unakA parama iSTa pradAna kiyaa| unhoMne jaise pati ko aura naye sire se ghaniSTha rUpa meM prApta kiyaa| bhojana ke bAda pati ne kahA, "jAnatI ho, inhoMne mujhe kyA batAyA hai ? inhoMne batAyA hai ki zAnti vaha rakkho jo TUTe nahIM, jo dUsare para nirbhara hokara na rahe, na kisI bAharI ghaTanA para, na vyakti para, jo khuda meM pUrI ho aura sarvathA yathArtha ho |"-aur sAdhu se pUchA-"kyoM, yahI na ?" patnI ne kahA, "tumane inase mAphI mA~gI ?" sAdhu kucha kahane ko huaa| pati bIca meM bola par3e, "yaha to kahate haiM mere hAtha na mAjhI hai, na nArAjI / yaha kahate haiM, jo sabakA mAlika hai, usase hI mA~go, usase hI lo|" __sAdhu ne kahA, "hA~, saba lenA-denA sIdhe usI se rakhanA cAhie, vaha saba duHkha haratA hai|" patnI ne kahA, "lekina gunAha bar3A hai| tuma bAbA, hamArA dhyAna

Page #38
sAdhu kI haTha 27. rakhanA aura, hamAre lie duA mA~ganA / hama donoM ko tumhArI mAphI aura duA caahie|" ___ sAdhu ne jarA muskarA diya "hA~, maiM tumhAre lie duAmA~gaMgA aura mAphI mAgUMgA / maiM duniyA ke lie yaha mA~gatA huuN|" aura usI muskarAhaTa ke sAtha pUchA, "koI bAla-baccA hai ?" patnI ne pati kI ora dekhA aura pati ne patnI kI ora / phira jhaTa donoM dharatI kI ora dekhane lge| ___ patnI ne phira dabI jabAna se kahA, "yAbA, isake lie bhI duA mA~ganA / barasoM se hamArI sAdha hai / tumhArI dughA laga jAyagI, to jasa maaneNge|" sAdhu ne kahA, "vaha saba-kucha degA / usase mA~ge jaao| mana, buddhi aura deha se jitane ke tuma samartha hoge, jitane ke adhikArI hoge aura jitanA tumhAre lie ucita aura hitakara hogA, aura jitanI tumhArI prArthanA meM zakti hogI, utanA hI varadAna tumako usase milegA / bharosA rakkho, vaha saba-kucha degaa|" . kucha dera bAda sAdhu ne kahA, "eka ghaMTe se kAphI jyAdA hogA, maiM aba jaauuNgaa| mere lie tuma loga bhI duzrA maaNgnaa|" vaha calA gyaa| Der3ha sAla meM unheM putra kI prApti huii| donoM sAdhu ke bar3e kRtajJa haiN| putra ko usI kA prasAda mAnate haiM / hama pati-patnI kI isa kRtajJatA aura mAnyatA ko, kevala buddhihIna bhAvukatA samajhe kyA ?

Page #39
eka TAipa meraTha sTezana se jaba rela calI taba dekhA-eka pakI Ayu ke sajjana do beMcoM ke bIca se apanI rAha banAte hue merI bichI darI ke pAsa kI khAlI jagaha ko nigAha meM rakha kara merI ora bar3he pA rahe haiN| ___ "kyA maiM yahA~ baiTha sakatA hU~ ?" kahA, aura darI ke kone ko jarA uThA kara rUmAla se usa jagaha ko jhAr3ate hue maire uttara kI binA apekSA rakhe vaha vahA~ baiThane lge| ___ maiMne kahA, "phikra na kIjie, isI para baitthie|" aura unake hAtha se darI kA chora lekara maiMne phira ThIka se bichA diyA / sajjana baiTha gye| baiThakara apane cazme ke moTe lainsoM meM se usa kampArTameNTa meM avasthita nara-nAriyoM ko vaha nissaMga bhAva se dekhane lge| kucha loga apane meM vyakti nahIM hote, ve eka TAipa ke pratinidhi huA karate haiN| unheM apane jAtigata vyaktitva kI ikAI smjhie| vaha rAmalAla haiM, yA zyAmalAla haiM, yA zItalaprasAda haiM, yA ye tInoM na hokara cauthe nAma vAle haiM / isase koI pharka nahIM thAtA / ye saba 28

Page #40
eka TAipa 26 jagaha saba nAmoM ke nIce eka hI mUlya ke dyotaka haiM / sAmAjika prANI kI haisiyata se amuka hI unakI jIvana kI nIti hotI hai, vastuoM kA amuka mUlya, aura vicAroM kI vahI eka kATa kI banAvaTa / ve apanA nija kA vyaktitva banAne ke jhaMjhaTa se prArambha se hI bace hote haiM aura apane vizvAsa Apa gar3hane kA kaSTa bhI unheM uThAnA nahIM hotaa| aise ye vizvAsI jIva nirApada jIvana yApana karate haiN| ___ isI bhA~ti madhyama-mArgI dIna-duniyAdAra AdamiyoM kI jAti kA bhI eka sA~cA-sA bana gayA hai| vaha madhyama zikSA uThAkara, madhyama naukarI yA madhyama vyavasAya meM laga jAtA hai, aura apanI madhyama girastI racAtA hai / vaha pApa se bacatA hai, dAna-punna karatA rahatA hai / ghara banAtA hai, jIvana kA bImA karAye rakhatA hai, aura antima dinoM meM paraloka-sAdhana ke lie vyavasthita rUpa meM bhagavadbhajana karatA hai / corI usake lie pApa hai, jhUTha gunAha, tIrthayAtrA dharma, rizvata haka, aura sUda sabase ImAnadArI kI prAya / paisA bar3appana hai, aura bar3A makAna, bar3I girastI aura bar3I AmadanI hI isake lie pratiSThA kA lakSaNa aura saphalatA kI pahacAna hai / vaha samAja ke dharAtala ko batAtA hai / vaha samAja kI rIr3ha hai| ba~dhA dharma, ba~dhI Aya aura ba~dhe karma kA yaha svasthacitta aura sandeha-mukta jIva, arthapradhAna jalavAyu meM acchA magna rahatA hai| relave kI vardI kA jAr3oM kA eka nIlA koTa sajjana pahane the, gola phelTa-kaipa thI, ThIka-ThAka kamIja, ThIka-ThAka dhotI aura suvyavasthita rUpa meM tasmoM se ba~dhA huA kAlA zU / jeba meM eka kitAba par3I huI thii| sugharAI se rakhI ijjatadAra mUche thIM aura zeva Aja hI kiyA huA thA / avasthA pacAsa-pacapana hogii| "zrApa kahA~ jA rahe haiM ?"

Page #41
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] mere hAtha meM a~garejI kA akhabAra thA jo usI sTezana se liyA thaa| aura maiMne dekha pAyA ki udhara unhoMne dekhA hai, goyA vaha kahanA cAha rahe haiM-'maiM akhabAra roja par3hatA hU~, lAie, diijie|' maiMne kahA, "maiM pAsa hI jA rahA hU~, lIjie akhabAra dekhie|" unhoMne akhabAra le liyA; use hAthoM meM rakhakara pUchA, "gA~dhI mahAtmA Ajakala kahA~ haiM ?" maiMne mana ke bhItara kahA, "ajI mahAtmAjI kI phikra chor3ie / unakI phikra Apa apane para car3hane deMge to ApakA caina akhaNDa na rhegaa|" aura bhItara yaha kahakara maiM cupa rhaa| mujhe cupa dekha vaha bole, "gA~dhIjI sacce mahAtmA haiM, sAhaba / maiM bhI khabara pahanatA huuN| yaha dekhie, andara kI banizrAina, dezI mIla kI hai / lekina sAhaba, khaddara maha~gA bahuta hai| hama garIba kyA kareM ?" merA dhyAna akhabAroM ko pakar3e hue unake dAyeM hAtha para thA, jisakI naseM ubharI huI thIM, bhUre-bhUre ghane bAla uge the, a~guliyA~ moTI aura choTI thIM, a~gUThA guTThala thA, aura kalAI para camar3e meM jar3I 'kIpa seka' baiThI minaTa-minaTa saraka rahI thii| "dila se sAhaya hama mahAtmAjI ke sAtha hai| lekina ghara-bAra hai, bAla-bacce haiM / ekadama to saba-kucha chor3A nahIM jA sktaa| hamAre kasbe meM bhI eka bAra mahAtmAjI Aye the|" kucha dera meM eka sTezana AyA, rela ThaharI aura barAbara kI beMca se eka mahAzaya vahA~ utara gaye / sajjana uThakara usa khAlI jagaha cale gye| maiMne kahA, "baiThie, baitthie|" bole, "maiM ThIka hU~, Apa ArAma kiijie|" unhoMne apanI A~khoM ke sAmane akhabAra phailA liyA aura maiM kucha dera TAlakara bistara para leTa gyaa|

Page #42
eka TAipa akhabAra kA yaha saphA dekhA, vAnTeDa para kucha dera ruke aura tIna-cAra minaTa meM akhabAra merI ora bar3hAkara kahA, "lIjie sAhaba / thaiksa / " 'akhabAra lekara maiMne takie ke nIce DAla liyA / aba vaha rela kI khir3akI kI rAha bAhara bhAgate hue khetoM kI ora dekhane lge| mAlUma huA-ve isameM bahuta magnatA pA sakate haiN| mAnoM unheM vahA~ se kucha sandeza-sA, kucha vismRti-sI athavA kucha smRti-sI prApta hotI hai / ve kucha dera cazme meM se bAhara kA dRzya dekhate, kucha dera bAda cazmA mAthe para car3hA lete aura khulI A~khoM se dRzyapAna krte| maiMne pUchA, "kahie Apa kahA~ jAe~ge ?" bole, "maiM bhI dUra nahIM jaauuNgaa|" maiMne pUchA, "kyA kArabAra hai ? mulAjamata karate haiM ?" "karanA-karAnA to sAhaba saba nibaTA cukA / aba to bhagavAn kA sumarana hI hai|" "penzana ho gaI hai ?" "jI hA~, bAla-bacce kAma sa~bhAlate haiN|" maiMne kahA, "bar3A lar3akA hai ? kyA umara hai ?" "tIsa barasa kA hogA / rela meM 35) kA naukara hai|" "aura usake bhAI-bahana haiM ?" "jI hA~, cAra bhAI aura cAra bahaneM aura haiN|" "sabakI byAha-zAdI ho gaI ?" "nahIM sAhaba, do lar3ake aura do lar3akiyA~ abhI choTI haiN|" "kyA penzana hai ?" "ajI paiMtIsa rupae milate haiN| bIsa rupae se merI naukarI lagI thii| riTAyara hote vakta sattara taka pahu~ca gyaa|...do lar3ake hAIskUla meM par3hate haiN| choTA prAimarI meM hai| bar3e do naukarI se lage

Page #43
jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] hue haiN| do lar3akiyoM ke hAtha pIle kara hI cukA, bAkI donoM ke byAha meM do-do DhAI-DhAI hajAra aura lagAnA hai / vaha bhI ho jaaygaa| lar3akoM ke lie do alaga makAna banavA diye haiN| apanA pharja itanA hI kara denA hai| Age kI bhagavAn jAne / ve haiM aura unakA bhAgya / ajI kauna kisakA karatA hai / saba apane karama kA khAte haiM / jitanA ho sakA kara diyA hai / aura apanA kyA hai / do sAla aura rahA to bIme kI rakama bhI paka jaaygii| ATha hajAra vaha ho jaaeNge| yaha saba bAla-gopAla kA hI samajhie / hameM apane lie aba kyA karanA hai ? do roTI aura rAma kA nAma / " maiMne pUchA, "ApakI penzana paiMtIsa rupae hai na ? phira yaha saba Apane kaise bandobasta kara liyA ?" vaha ha~se nahIM, ruSTa bhI nahIM hue, unheM jaise vismaya huA aura unhoMne kahA, "tanakhvAha bIsa se hI zurU huI thI, lekina usI ke bharose kauna rahatA hai ?" maiMne kahA, "rela meM itanI AmadanI hai ?" bole, "karane vAle ke lie saba jagaha rAste haiM / anasUjhate ke lie kyA kahA jAe ?" maiMne kahA, "taba to Apa bephikra haiM ?" bole, "jI hA~, maiM kisI khaTarAga meM nahIM huuN| duniyA dekhI, saba mAyA hai / saba parapaJca hai / jitanA moha karo, utanA hI vaha khAne AtA hai| aura kunabe vAle kyA ? sahAI kyA ? apanA asala meM koI bhI nahIM hai / satta nAma hI apanA hai aura kucha sAtha nahIM jaataa|" maiM sajana kI ora dekhane lgaa| vaha hara bhA~ti sambhrAnta aura zIlavAn dIkhate the / dekhate hI unake prati Adara honA svAbhAvika thaa| unake jIvana meM aura unake mana meM zaMkA kA kIr3A kahIM na

Page #44
eka TAipa 33 dIkhatA thA aura pacAsa-pacapana ke hone para bhI unake cehare para aura kadAcita hRdaya para bhI vizeSa rekhAe~ na banI thIM / maiMne taba haThAt apane takie ke nIce se akhabAra jhapaTa kara khIMca liyA / usameM A~kha cipakA, meM takie ke sahAre sIdhI taraha leTa gayA / palakoM para sapane se Ane lage aura maiM so gayA / mujhe pratIta huA, jaise maiM kahIM bAga meM hU~ aura U~ce-U~ce per3a haiM aura bahuta-sI madhumakkhiyA~ bhanabhana bhanabhana kara rahI haiN| maiM donoM hAthoM se unheM haTAnA cAhatA hU~, para unakI bhanabhanAhaTa dUra nahIM hotI / ve ikaTThI kI ikaTThI milakara cAroM ora ghumar3a rahI haiN| mujhe bhaya hai, ve mujhe kaatteNgii| maiM haTAnA cAhatA hU~, ve nahIM haTatIM / maiM saMkaTa meM hU~ / ... 1 tabhI sahasA merI A~kha khulii| maiMne pAyA, sajjana apanI sITa para baiThe A~kha mU~de kucha gunagunA rahe haiN| mujhe mAlUma huA vaha bhagavAn meM lIna haiM / vaha jaise macala macala kara kahanA cAha rahe haiM "sAntAkAraMga bhujakasenaMga padamanAbaM surekham " vaha khUba bhAvAsikta haiM, Ardra haiM, aura unakA sira raha-rahakara bhakti meM Dola rahA hai "visitrAdhAraM gaganasadisAM meghavarNana subhAMgam / " maiM phira sone kI ceSTA karane lgaa| lekina zloka ke duharAe jAte caraNa ruka-rukakara mere kAnoM para lagate the / ve kisI bhI bhA~ti prIti-varddhaka nahIM the| aura maiM socatA thA - bhakti maunAvalambI ho to kyA usakI kama sunAI hotI hai ? lekina zloka to pUrA hotA hI rahA 'lakSmIkAntaM kamalanainaM yogibindhyA sunagaram / ' phira cauthA caraNa bhI AyA

Page #45
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] 'bande viSNu bhavabhaya harama sarva lokeanAtham / ' usake kAphI dera bAda taka A~kheM unakI muMdI rhiiN| phira jaba ve khulI, mAlUma hotA thA ve naI-hI-naI isa duniyA kI mAyA para khulI haiM aura yaha mAyA unakI korI dRSTi se ekadama nIce hai / unhoMne merI ora dekhakara kahA, "Apane yaha pustaka dekhI hai ?" aura jeba meM se vaha pustaka nikaalii| maiMne pustaka kA nAma dekhA'tattvacintAmaNi / ' vaha merI bahuta hI ruci kI pustaka thii| eka bAra dekhakara maiMne use apane svAdhyAya kI pustaka banAnA cAhA thaa| lekina usI pustaka ko unake hAthoM se apanI ora bar3hatI AtI pAkara mujhe asamaJjasa huaa| usa pustaka ko usa samaya hAtha meM lekara ulaTanA-palaTanA aura usakI prazaMsA karanA mujhe rucikara na huaa| maiMne kahA, "jI hA~, Apako isa pustaka meM rasa milatA hai ?" ___ bole, "apUraba pustaka hai| Apane 'kaliyAna' pattara dekhA hai ! gorakhapura ke ye 'kaliyAna' vAle loga bar3A upakAra kA kAma kara rahe haiM, sAhaba!" ___maiMne kahA, "jI-hA~, jI-hA~ |...aap saMskRta to khUba jAnate hoMge ? bole, "ajI nahIM sAhaba / saMskIrata jAnate to nhiiN| lekina devabhASA to sAhaba, vahI hai| aura usameM kitanA miThAsa hai, dekhie "sAntAkAraMga bhujagasenaMga..." aura do-do bAra duharAkara zloka ke pUre cAroM caraNa unhoMne mujhe phira sunaaye| aura bhI gahana tattva kI aura darzana-bhakti kI. bAteM vaha mujhase karate rhe| ganImata yahI thI ki mujhe pAsa hI utaranA thaa| merA sTezana AyA aura maiMne utarate hue sajjana se vidA lii|

Page #46
eka TAipa unhoMne kahA, "acchA jAiegA ? bhagavAna kuzala-maMgala rkhe|" aura bistara ko lapeTate hue jo merA akhabAra nIce gira gayA thA use uThAkara, mujhe dikhAkara sajjana ne kahA, "kyA isakI Apako jarUrata hai ?" maiMne kahA, "nahIM-nahIM, Apa rkhie|" aura maiM calA aayaa|

Page #47
ikke meM . haThAt vidA lI, aura jhaTapaTa ikke para savAra ho maiM cala pdd'aa| calate ikke meM akelA baiThA socane lagA, "tuma bhI zrAdamI ho / vakta para kucha kara sakate hI nahIM, phira socate ho, kyoM nahIM kara sake / baiThe socA karo, kucha nahIM, tuma nikamme ho| hA~ to, sIdhe mu~ha uThAkara calate cale Ae, yaha nahIM ki gurujanoM ke carana chU clo|" aura ikkA cala rahA thA / aura ikkevAna apane mariyala ghor3e ko Tika-Tika karatA calA rahA thA / aura ghor3A saikiMDa do saikiMDa ikke ke bojha ko jarA jaldI khIMcatA, phira apanI raphtAra para A jaataa| aura banArasa kI sar3aka aura galI isI bhA~ti pAra hotI jA rahI thii| socA-yaha kyA bAta hai jI, ki kahIM jAo aura phira vahA~ A jaao| pahale to kahIM jAo ho kyoM aura agara cala hI par3e aura pahu~ca hI gae to phira vahA~ se A jAnA kyoM jarUrI ho jAnA cAhie? nahIM nahIM, saba gar3abar3a hai| yaha saba tamAzA hai

Page #48
ikke meM aura maiMne girane se bacane ke lie eka dama ikke kA DaMDA pakar3a liyA, kahA, "ThIka se kyoM nahIM calAtA re, ikkA ?" .. bolA, "bAbU cungI kI minsapalTI meM lakacara hota haiM, aura sar3akana meM gar3ahe par3e jAta haiN|" maiMne kahA, "gAr3I meM bakta thor3A hai| z2arA ikkA bar3hAe cala / " usane kahA, "hoya Tika-Tika / " aura ghor3e ke khar3e dAe~ kAna para cAbuka kA tasmA bhI jora se biThA diyaa| ghor3A agale pairoM para jora dekara bar3hA, daur3A, aura phira vaisA hI maddhima ho gyaa| aura pAsa rakkhe puliMde para kohanI Teka, aura Thor3I hathelI para rakhakara dekhane lagA yaha bhArata-dharma-mahAmaNDala hai, aura usake cAroM ora kheta bhI haiM aura bagIce bhI huuN| aura yaha lAla tIna manjila kA makAna kaise sundara DijAina para banA hai| aura ye aurateM roja sAmane ke isa tIna manjila ke sundara lAla makAna ko dekhatI haiM, ha~sa-ha~sakara apanI TokariyA~ bunatI haiM, gAliyA~ bakatI haiM, apane-apane mardo ko lekara apane banda gharoM ke bhItara phUsagUdar3a ko or3hanA-bichaunA banAkara sotI haiM, aura rAta kATa detI haiN| aura phira dina meM Akara isa lAla vizAla mahala kI gurrAtI A~khoM ke sAmane ha~satI aura cuhala karatI huI apanA gobara pAthatI aura TokarI bunatI haiN| aura hama kahate haiM, prema / aura prema ke sAtha kahate haiM, gulAba, bulabula, zarAba, makhamala ke takiye, khar3e Aine aura yaha aura vaha / aura kahate haiM viraha, viyoga, vichoha, kasaka, TIsa, Aha, A~sU, Aga aadi| aura kahate haiM, saundarya, aura Aesthetics / aura kahate haiM paartt|...aur ye aurateM madoM ko lekara anaginata bacce janatI haiM, aura gobara pAthatI haiM, aura TokarI bunatI haiM, aura ha~satI haiM aura jhagar3a

Page #49
38 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] par3ane ko bhUkhI rahatI haiM, aura gAliyoM se bharI rahatI haiN|...aur bhArata-dharma-mahAmaNDala kA kAryakSetra vizAla hai, aura kAryAlaya bhI bAraunaka hai|... maiMne kahA, "kyoM re, yaha ikkA aura yaha ghor3A ! tabhI taine cillA-cillA kara mujhe apane ikke para bulAkara bitthaayaa| gAr3I na milI to tujhe dhelA na milegaa|" ___ikke-vAle ne cAbuka sarrAyA aura eka kasa kara diyA, aura eka ati ghaniSTha gAlI dii| ghor3e ne dulattI jhAr3I aura phira daur3a par3A / taba ikke vAle ne kahA, "vAha mere beTe ! aura apane beTe ke puDhe para pyAra ke cAra thapake diye / " ____ maiMne dekhA, "cAbuka kI coTa para ghor3A eka bAra khIjha meM dulattI jhAr3atA hai| taba kyA maiMne yaha bhI nahIM dekhA ki pyAra kI thapakiyoM para eka bAra hI usakI deha meM harSa kI siharana daur3a jAtI hai, khar3e kAna khar3e roMgaToM kI taraha kA~pate-se haiM aura bhAga kI cAla meM ullAsa A jAtA hai ? usane kyA nahIM suna liyA hai-- aura vaha uchalatA huA pIche ikke ke bojha ko khIMcatA khuzI se bhAgatA calA jA rahA hai| socA, "cAbuka kI coTa kyA jhUTha hai ? nahIM to phira kyA pyAra kI thapakiyA~ jhUTha haiM ? eka hI ikke vAlA apane ghor3e ko kor3A mAratA hai, aura beTA kahakara pyAra karatA hai| isameM kauna bAta jhUTha hai, aura kauna saca hai ? kisa bAta meM vaha ikke vAlA adhika prekaTa, nikaTatA se ghaniSTha aura prakAzita hai ?" maiMne ikke-vAle ko apane sthAna se dekhA, cehare pai rekhAe~ chAI thIM jinameM jAnanA asambhava thA kauna kyA prakaTa karatI haiM aura kauna kyA / mAthA kama thA aura bhauMhe bhArI-ghanI hokara A~khoM para chajje-sI chAI thI aura Thor3I kI noka laTakatI jA rahI thii| maiMne kahA, "kaba se banArasa rahate ho ?"

Page #50
ikke meM usane kahA, "bAbU, dasa barasa huI gae, tabahiM se yaha jinAvara hamAre pAsa hai / kabahu~ inne dagA nahIM daI, vaphAdAra jinAvara hai / " kahakara, ghor3e ko jo dhImA hotA jA rahA thA, gAlI dekara ghumA kara eka kor3A jamAyA, "attere sAle..." mujhase kahA, "bAbU, pUre dasa sAla huI ge| aura ihA~ pIr3hIdara-pIr3hI rahata A rahe haiM / pari, jabahu~ se jA ikkA meM pare haiM jei jinAvara hai|" aura maiM ikke ke bIca meM baiThA sar3aka pAra karatA huA rela ke sTezana ke nikaTa khiMcA huA jA rahA thA / ...kyoM jI, ya' kyA hai ? abhI banArasa, abhI TikaTa liyA, rela meM baiThe, aura kala dillI aura Aja banArasa ? kyoM roja hI roja eka hI apane sthAna para nahIM ? aura kyoM vahIM pUrI taraha tRpti nahIM ?...para, kisa lie eka jagaha tRpta rahA jAya ?...tRpta hI kyoM rahA jAya ? kyoM na yahA~ se vahA~ bhAgate phire jAya, aura eka dina Aye ki jahA~ ho vahIM ThaNDe hokara Dhera ho jAya~ ? Akhira yahI to honA hai-phira kyA nahIM, aura kyA haaN| aura yaha rela bhI tamAzA hai / phaka-phaka karatI huI Akara khar3I ho jAtI hai, aura kahatI hai-'zrAo logo, yahA~ se vahA~ clo|' aura pA~ca-dasa minaTa becArI cupacApa pratIkSA meM khar3I rahatI hai, aura loga jo Ate haiM unheM apane peTa meM lekara phaka-phaka karatI huI phira cala par3atI hai| aura kucha kAma hI nahIM hai ise, yahI karatI rahatI hai| hara jagaha yahI kahatI hai-'yahA~ se calo vhaaN|' aura loga isI sthAnAntarita hote rahane ko kahate haiM-'hama kAma kara rahe haiN|' isIkI paribhASA banAkara kahate haiM-'hama vyApAra kara rahe haiM, vyavasAya kara rahe haiM,-pracAra kara rahe haiM. Andolana kara

Page #51
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] rahe haiM, upakAra kara rahe haiM, parivartana kara rahe haiM, hama kAma kara rahe haiN|'... 2 abake jora se merA sira pAsa rakkhe apane bistara ke pulinde meM lagA / khaira huI ki Traka meM nahIM lgaa| dhyAna AyA, duniyA nayAlI nahIM hai, aura yaha banArasa kA ikkA hai aura banArasa kI sar3aka hai; isalie, snayAlI jIva banakara baiThUMgA isameM, to qhatA khAU~gA / maiMne kahA, "sambhAla ke kyoM nahIM calAtA re, ikkA / aura maiM, sambhala sambhAla, caukannA ho baiThA / " dekhatA hU~ ki sar3aka ko pAra karane kI jaldI nahIM hai / ikke ke nIce se gahare cecaka ke dAga se gaDDhoM vAlI yaha bur3hiyA nAlA sar3aka bar3I dhImI-dhImI cAla se khisaka rahI hai / maiMne kahA, "ikA bar3hAtA hai ki rela nikAlane kI dhuna meM hai ? rela nikalI ki phira tU hai, aura maiM / " usane ghor3e kI pU~cha ke pAsa hAtha lagAkara kahA, "hoya, TikaTika..." mujha se kahA, "bAbU, kahA~ jAva ?" maiMne khuzI se kahA, "dillI / " 'dillI !' aura vaha mujhe A~kha phAr3akara dekhane lagA, "bAbU, dillI !" usane samajhA hogA, sone se kama kImatI dhAtu to kyA dillI kI sar3akoM meM lagI hogI, aura pAnI kI jagaha loga itra pIte hoNge| dillI ke acaraja se ubarane para pUchA, "bAbU, tumhAre ihA~ kahA rojagAra hota ai ?" maiMne kahA, "calo calo, ikkA calAo / " ikkA cala hI rahA thA, aura cala par3A / I "bAbU, dhillI meM mogala ke bAdazAha raita hate / voI dhillI ! ar killA ai ?"

Page #52
ikke meM 41 maiMne kahA, "hA~, vahI dillI / aura vahA~ kilA hai| aura vahA~ cA~danI-cauka hai|" "cA~dhanI-cauka !" __ "khUba caur3I, pakkI, hamavAra sar3aka hai| TrAmeM calatI haiN| bar3I raunaka hai / tumane nahIM dekho ?" "bAbU, hamAre cauka se bar3hiyA ai ?" "are, duniyA meM eka hai|" "acchA !" aura vaha apane ghor3e kI tarapha dekhakara bolA, "cala beTe, zAbAza !" ___ isa abodha prANI ke bhItara dillI ke sambandha meM mahattva jagAkara anumAna huA ki maiMne apanA bhI mahattva bar3hA liyA hai| jaise sacamuca dillI meM rahanA merI apanI nija kI aisI viziSTatA hai ki usake bala para anadillI vAloM se maiM anAyAsa hI bar3A ho jAtA huuN|...chiH chiH, maiM socatA hU~ AdamI AdamI hai ki jAnavara hai| ___maiMne kahA, "bhaI, hamako batAte calo ki rAste meM kauna kyA hai, kauna kyA ? hama banArasa meM naye haiN| aura banArasa jitanA purAnA zahara hai utanA dillI kyA, koI bhI nahIM hai|" ___ usane kahA, "bAbU,...!' Age usane vAkya ko pUrA na kiyA, aura maiMne anubhava kiyA ki banArasa ko dillI ke Asa-pAsa pahu~cA dekhakara banArasa ke sambandha meM adhika ullAsa usameM zeSa nahIM rahatA, kucha lajjA kA bhAva hI A uThatA hai| "bAbU, banArasa..." kahakara vaha nIcI nigAha se apane ghor3e ko dekha uThA, aura hA~kane lgaa| dekho jI, yaha ahaGkAra bhI kyA hai ! yaha mujhako tuma se, yA sumako mujha se, bar3A banA dekara hI samApta nahIM hotaa| yaha cIjoM ko, zaharoM ko, nAmoM ko, zabdoM ko bhI eka-dUsare ke sAmane U~cA

Page #53
42 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] car3hAne aura nIcA girAne kI ceSTA karatA hai| maiM maiM hU~, isalie, tuma se bar3A hU~ / isalie merA kurtA bhI tuma se bar3A hai / isalie merI gAlI bhI tuma se bar3I hai / .... isa ahaGkAra kI hada nahIM !... burI balA hai yaha, eka Aphata | pAsa hI eka bar3hiyA - sI koThI dikhAI dI, aura saceta hokara ikke vAle ne kahA, "bAbU, ye iNDiyana paresa hai / " maiMne mana meM doharAyA, "iNDiyana presa !" "bAbU, chApekhAnA hai / kitAbeM chapata haiM / " mujhe yaha dhRSTatA usakI acchI nahIM lagI ki mujhI ko samabaiThatA hai, presa kyA cIja hotI hai / maiMne kahA, "ikke ko bar3hAo jaldI se, dera ho rahI hai / " 1 ikko bar3hA aura maiMne socA, "iNDiyana presa ! khUba to cIz2a hai / vahI na jahA~ jJAna dhar3Adhar3a kala para chapatA hai, jildoM meM ba~dhatA hai aura jahA~ phira usake khUba dAma uThA liye jAte haiM ! nayA purAnA, halkA - bhArI, skUlI skUlI, zAstrIya-azAstrIya, - saba prakAra kA jJAna pakkI majabUta jildoM meM silakara, ba~dhakara, ejensiyoM meM pahu~catA hai aura parIkSA kI mArphata DigriyoM ke aura jJAna ke bhUkhe janoM ko aise subhIte se mila jAtA hai jaise ghAva vAloM ko hara aspatAla se marahama kA phAyA / isa prakAra jJAna kA vitaraNa hotA hai, puNya kA arjana hotA hai aura dhana kA samaya hotA hai aura isa arjana-saMcaya ke mArga meM, jJAna nAmaka padArtha ke vyavasAya dvArA koTi-koTi saMpAdaka, lekhaka Adi, ukta padArtha kI utpatti ke zramIjana, sahaja rUpase pala jAte haiN| aura vaha kaleM bijalI ke jora se aisI bhUta kI taraha calatI haiM ki unake peTa bharane ke lie aparimita jJAna ko ugate rahanA hI caahie| kahIM na kahIM se majadUra loga khoda-khoda kara jJAna lAyeM, ugaleM, ur3eleM, ki jisase kala calatI rahe, aura usameM lagA rupayA AmadanI detA rahe / aura jJAna bar3ha

Page #54
ikke meM rahA hai, patrikAe~ nikala rahI haiM, lekha likhe jA rahe haiM, pustakeM taiyAra ho rahI haiM, upadeza diye jA rahe haiM ki pustakeM par3ho aura jJAnI bano; kyoMki, kala kA bhUta kAma mA~gatA hai aura usa bhUta kA mAlika dAma mA~gatA hai / yaha ucita aura Avazyaka hai| kyoMki usa mAlika ko sAr3he cAra lAkha kI samudra-taTapara kI eka koThI pasaMda A gaI hai| isalie likho aura pddh'o|...maiN jAnatA hU~, iMDiyana presa khUba cIz2a hai|" "bAbU, udhara kIna kA kAlija hai / " maiMne kahA, "kkIna kA kAlija nahIM cAhie, sTezana kitanI dUra ___ "najIka hI hai, bAbU !" mandira Aye, kheta Aye, kahIM bagIce, phira dharmazAlAeM, makAna, ghara, eka-eka kara AdamI ke saba khela, saba kAma Ane lge| kahIM do AdamI dIkhate, kahIM tIna; kahIM do triyA~, kahIM tIna / loga jA rahe haiM,kAma kara rahe haiM, ha~sa rahe haiM, kucha haiM jo ro bhI rahe haiN|...gokhle zilpa-vidyAlaya kA bahuta bar3A borDa lagA hai, aura usake adhikArI avazya samajhate hoMge, unhoMne jo kiyA hai, usI meM se manuSya kA aura manuSya-jAti kA uddhAra hai |...aur pAna kI dukAnavAlI se eka adhika cUnA lagA pAna lekara jo AdamI use kosatA huA rasa lekara ha~sa rahA hai, vaha mAna rahA hai ki use aura kucha nahIM karanA hai / vaha isa pAnavAlI ke pAna ko aura usakI ha~sI ko, aura use, saba-kI-sabako, pA sake to use isa duniyA meM aura kucha nahIM pAnA rahegA, vaha kRtArtha ho jaaygaa| maiMne kahA, "Thaharo, eka pAna le leN|" ikkA ThaharA, maiMne kahA, "eka pAna to lagA denaa|" usane binA merI ora dekhe pAna taiyAra karanA prArambha kara

Page #55
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] diyA / vaha apane usI chailA ko dekha rahI thI jo use dekha rahA thA aura muskarA rahA thaa| ____ maiMne dekhA, "vaha to ga~vAra hai, aura maiM bahuta acche kapar3e pahane hue hU~, aura ekadama sundara hU~, taba kyA maiM eka nigAha kA bhI hakadAra nahIM hU~ ?" "bAbUjI, suratI?" aba usane mujhe dekhA, vaise hI jaise eka dIvAra dekhe, tasavIra dekhe, binA bhAva, binA citavana / maiMne kahA, "nhiiN|" usane kahA, "suratI nahIM ?" rAstA calate ikke se utara kara jo usakI dukAna para pAna lene AyA hai vaha suratI nahIM khAyagA, isa para use jaise vizvAsa nahIM huzrA, acaraja huaa| ___ maiMne kahA, "nhiiN|" muskarAne se vaha aba ha~sa pdd'ii| jaise maiM usake sAmane zUnya ho gayA, basa vaha chailA raha gayA; aura eka naI yaha khabara raha gaI ki eka AdamI aisA bhI hai jo pAna mA~gatA hai para suratI nahIM khAtA / aura vaha ha~sa pdd'ii| merI samajha meM nahIM A sakA ki yaha dukAnavAlI aurata jo isa akarmaNya asundara yuvaka ke sAmane isa prakAra sahaja prAya aura sastI hokara apane ko prakaTa kara rahI hai, vahI mujha, jaise supAtra yuvA ke sambandha meM ekadama aisI saMyama-zIla kisa bhA~ti hai, ki mere astitva taka se bekhabara hai| ne kahA, "bahuta ha~sa rahI ho !" vaha khila-khilA kara ha~sa pdd'ii| bolI, "bAbUjI, bAhara rahate ho kahIM ? yaha jo zrAdamI khar3A hai, eka hI badamAza hai isa zahara meM / mujhe roja cher3ane ko A pahu~catA hai| bAbU, tuma jAno mata kahIM, mujhe isase bacA do|"

Page #56
45 ikke meM aura vaha betahAzA ha~sa par3I, aura yuvaka bhI jora se ha~sA / mujhe bhI ha~sI-sI aaii| para mana meM khIjha bhI thii| dekho, isa AdamI ke bahAne yaha mujhase apanA sambandha samajha sakatI hai aura banA sakatI hai; yoM isake najadIka jaise maiM AdamI taka nahIM huuN| maiMne jaldI se apanA pAna liyA, paisA pheMkA aura ikke para A rhaa| kahA, "jaldI calo, jldii|" phira, jahA~-tahA~ dukAne AI, per3a Aye, ghara Aye, kheta aaye| maiMne socA-yaha kyA mAmalA hai ? maiM ikke para baiTha kara calA jA rahA hU~ aura duniyA ko mujhase matalaba nahIM hai| ikke vAle kA matalaba hai, aura vaha yaha ki sTezana pahu~cU~ aura tIna Ane thamAkara maiM apanI rAha pkdd'| usa pAnavAlI ke sAmane maiM zUnya se gayA bItA siddha huaa| apane bacce ke sAmane maiM hI bAbUjI hU~; aura apanI patnI ke sAmane puruSa maiM hI huuN| kahIM tuma apane ko, apane meM; sArI duniyA pAte ho| dUsare kSaNa pAte ho, tuma duniyA ke nikaTa eka zUnya jaisA bindu bhI nahIM ho| saMyama-asaMyama kyA hai ? vaha pAnavAlI usa bhahe yuvaka ke sambandha meM apane ko sarvathA saMyama kI AvazyakatA se dUra, alaga, banA sakI; tabhI to yaha sambhava huA ki mere viSaya meM vaha aisI saMyamazIla ho uThe ki merI upasthiti taka kI cetanA usameM na jAge ! maiM puruSa hU~, yaha taka bhI bodha use na prApta ho / mAhAtmya satI kA hI sunA hai, kumArI brahmacAriNI kI mahimA sunane meM hamAre nahIM aaii| aura, patnI ho, tabhI to koI satI hotI hai| satI hone ke lie kyoM patnI honA Avazyaka hai ? jo patnI bana sakI hI nahIM, vaha kyA phira satI bhI nahIM bana sakegI ? isakA kyA uttara hai, isameM kyA tathya hai ? mIrA ne apane ko kRSNa kI cerI banAyA, kRSNa se yaha sambandha sthApita kiyA jahA~ maryAdA kI koI rekhA nahIM raha gaI, saMyama kA dhyAna hI naSTa ho gyaa| kyA isI kA yaha pariNAma na thA ki vaha

Page #57
janendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] apane jIvana-bhara, kisI bhA~ti na samajha sakI ki vaha vyakti, jisake sAtha loga kahate haiM usakA byAha racAyA gayA thA, aura loga kahate haiM jo usakA pati hai, usakA pati yA usakA koI bhI kucha kaise ho sakatA hai ? kRSNa kI patnI banakara, apanA saba kucha kRSNa kA banAkara, usane mAno duniyA ke astitva ko hI apane sAmane se miTA diyaa| para...rela kA sTezana kahA~ haiM, kitanI dUra hai ?... maiMne, kahA "kyoM re, sTezana nahIM pAyA ?" bolA "bAbU, jei mor3a pAra asTesanaI hai|" maiMne dekhA-IsAiyoM kA mizana hai, bauddha bhikkhuoM kA bhI kucha hai, aura vahIM nIce eka lohe ke thAla meM makkhI ur3AtA huA jo mUMgaphalI beca rahA hai, usakA eka lar3ake se jhagar3A macA hai| aura eka darjI kI dukAna hai, eka soDAvATara kI dukAna hai aura katAra meM kaI dukAneM haiN| aura eka jagaha pA~ca-sAta kulI ikaTTha hokara sulle kA eka-eka dama lagA rahe haiM, aura jo eka ora sar3aka para paaNc-ch|, IsAI miseM jA rahI haiM, unheM dekhate jAte haiN| aura kucha kAlija ke lar3ake amarIkana kaoNlara kI kamIjoM meM beMcoM para baiThe lemana pI rahe haiN| eka ke hAtha meM Tainisa kA ballA hai, dUsare ke meM haoNkI / sTezana aba aayaa| ikke vAle ne ikkA thamAkara kahA, "bAbU, kulI ." maiMne kahA, "hA~ kulI..." do-tIna kulI daur3a Aye aura lar3ane lge| Akhira, eka ne bistara uThAyA, eka ne ttrNk| "bAbU, Daur3hA darajA ?" maiMne dekhA, maiM ina kuliyoM ko yaha nahIM kaha sakatA, ki cauthA

Page #58
ikke meM darajA nahIM hai, isase tIsare meM baiThatA huuN| ise ye loga 'epriziyeTa' nahIM kara skeNge| maiMne kahA"Dyor3hA ! hA~;-nahIM, tIsarA / " aura jaba taka bhIr3a ko cIra kara apanI rAha banAtA huA TikaTa kI khir3akI para pahu~catA hU~, pAtA hU~, baTuA sApha gAyaba hai| maiMne kahA, "calo, yaha bhI ThIka / "

Page #59
pAnavAlA cA~danI-cauka kI eka dUkAna para baiThA kucha kharIda kara rahA thA ki AvAja suna par3I, "pvAina binArisa !" ___ AvAz2a surIlI thI, usameM rasa thaa| maiMne mur3akara dekhA / dekhatA hU~ ki eka moTara se eka bhadra puruSa utare haiM, tIna mahilAe~ unake sAtha haiM, jinameM do navIna haiM, eka praur3ha haiM, aura eka pAna vAlA hAtha meM pAnoM kI thAlI lekara unake pAsa pahu~ca kara kaha rahA hai "AlA pAina, binAsa pAina !" ve loga tanika isa Atithya-bheMTa para ruke| kSaNa bhara rahakara una navInAoM ko ha~sI chUTa AI aura Apasa meM ha~satI-ha~satI ve donoM Age bar3ha gii| pror3havayA mahilA aura vayaska puruSa bhI Age cala diye| pAnavAlA mur3akara phira phuTapAtha para A gayA aura Dolane lgaa| usI adA kI AvAz2a detA jAtA thA, "pvAina binArisa zrA' lA pAina, binAsa pAina!" __ paise dekara maiM pAna nahIM khAtA / para pAna khAne kA savAla nahIM thaa| maiMne kahA, "o banArasI pAna / "

Page #60
pAnavAlA 46 sunakara tapAka se vaha mere sAmane A gyaa|-"shraa'laa pAina, binArsI pAina !" maiMne dekhA, pAnavAlA khUba hai| bar3hiyA bArIka gAr3he kA sapheda kurtA pahane haiN| usase mela khAtI huI dhotI / pairoM meM naphIsa halke paMjAbI jUte haiN| TopI karIne ke sAtha aina koNa para rakhI hai, jisameM se dAIM ora Ter3he-mer3he kar3he bAla kucha dIkhane ke lie nikale hue hai, mULe bArIka-bArIka kaTI haiM, hajAmata bahuta sApha hai / A~khoM meM surmA hai, oThoM para DhaMga kI pAna kI gaharI lAlI hai| hAtha meM jo thAlI hai, cA~dI kI hai / usa para cA~dI ke varka lage pAna salIke se cine haiM / kucha bahuta bar3hiyA zIziyA~ katAra meM rakhI haiN| thAlI ke bIcoM-bIca Upara eka bijalI kI battI lagA rakhI hai, vaha cA~dI ke kamAnIdAra tAroM se thAlI para TikI rahatI hai| yaha saba dekhakara ha~sane ko jI cAhA / maiMne kahA, "denA eka paise kA pAna / " usane cA~dI kI eka salAI uThAI, pahale eka zIzI meM DAlI phira dUsarI meM, use pAna ke eka bIr3e para pherA, aura usI salAI se usa bIr3e ko uThAkara peza kara diyaa| maiMne kahA, "yaha kyA kiyA ?" usane kahA, "hujUra itra hai, mulAhijA ho / " maiMne bIr3A lekara muMha meM de liyA / pAna nahIM khAtA to kyA, khAnA jAnatA hU~ / pAna umdA thaa| mere khyAla meM pAnavAle ke haka meM yaha naphe kA saudA nahIM hai / kyA yaha sajadhaja isa pAna ke saude ke Upara vaha rakha sakatA hai ? maiMne kahA, "acchA eka bIr3A aura lgaa|" usane usI bhA~ti eka bIr3A lagAkara sAmane peza kara diyaa| kucha bacce AsapAsa jamA ho gaye the / pAnavAlA Thahara-Thahara kara kahatA rahA, "zrA'lA pAina, binAsa pAina !"

Page #61
jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] maiMne do paise dete hue kahA, "dina meM kitanA kara lete ho ?" bolA, "jI, ApakI meharabAnI se gujara ho jAtI hai|' maiMne kahA, "acchA, hama roz2a tumhArA pAna khAyA kreNge| acchI lajjata detA hai|" maiM ha~satA jAtA thaa| usake oThoM ke vakra meM jaise dhanyavAda thA / vaha bhI muskarAtAsA thaa| ___ usane eka bAra kahA, 'pvAina binArisa' aura jaba dekhA ki koI gAhaka nahIM hai, Age bar3ha liyaa| kharIda ke bAre meM jarA zithila hokara maiM isa pAnavAle ke tamAze ko dekhane lagA / jidhara se jAtA thA, eka bAra to rAha calatA AdamI bhI AvAja sunakara ise dekhane laga jAtA thaa| maiMne dekhA, jahA~ kisI acche kapar3e vAlI strI ko dekhatA hai vahIM pahu~ca kara aura bhI adA se kahane lagatA hai, "pvAina A'lA pvAina!" moTara meM yadi eka bhI strI ho, usake pAsa pahu~ca jAyagA, kahegA, "binArasI pvAina !" mujhe bar3I ha~sI AI / bahuta burA bhI lgaa| mana meM socA, bar3A zarAratI AdamI hai / phira Thahara kara socA, jAna par3atA hai, bar3A bhUkhA hai / nahIM to nirlajja hokara aisA na karatA phiratA / mere dekhate-dekhate phira vaha idhara-udhara na jAne kidhara ojhala ho gyaa| maiM bhI ghara calA AyA / maiM raIsa nahIM huuN| para jaMcAva burA nahIM rakhatA / aisA bhI kyoM rahA jAya ki lakSmI Ae bhI to Dara ke bhAga jAya / lakSmI-pati nahIM hU~ isI se aisA rahanA par3atA hai ki lakSmI Ae to lubhAkara

Page #62
pAnavAlA 51 mujhe pasanda kara le / lakSmI kA pati ho jAne para dUlhA bane phirane kI AvazyakatA nahIM raha jAyagI / zAyada isI se ho ki jaba cA~danI cauka meM pahu~catA hU~ tabhI pAnavAlA mujhe pA letA hai| jAne merI tAka lagAtA rahatA hai kyA ? pA~ca-sAta pAna usake kyA liye ki samajhatA hai. roja hI paisA barbAda karU~gA / lekina jaba vaha sAmane Akara salAI se pAna uThAkara muskarAtA huA kahatA hai, 'lIjie bAbUjI,' taba inkAra nahIM kiyA jAtA / yaha paisA pAna kA nahIM, maiM tamAze kA detA hU~ / mujhe isa pAnavAle kA bar3A tamAzA mAlUma hotA hai / kabhI maiM usameM antara nahIM dekhatA / hara roja vaisA hI jhaka sApha karatA rahatA hai, kisI bhI dina jarA bhI mailA nahIM rahatA; utanI hI sApha usakI hajAmata rahatI hai, aura ThIka utanA hI bArIka kaTI huI kinArA - sApha mU~cheM | aura khUba camacamAtI cA~dI kI thAlI / / maiMne usakA sadA yahI hisAba dekhA / ikkA-dukkA suparighAnita strI kahIM bhI dekha pAegA to pahu~ca jAegA aura muskarAkara pAna peza karegA / mujhe yaha burA lagatA hai / lekina jaba mere sAmane kara vaha muskarAtA hai to usameM doSa mujha se nahIM nikAlA jAtA / jaise usa samaya vaha muskarAhaTa mujhe burI nahIM mAlUma hotI / 1 eka dina mere sAtha merI patnI, eka bahina aura vivAha yogya vayakI eka merI bhatIjI, ye saba thIM / cA~danI cauka meM unheM kucha sAmAna lenA thA / eka dukAna, do dukAna, cAra dukAna, dukAneM dekhate-dekhate maiM thaka gayA / para ina logoM ko koI cIja hI pasanda nahIM aaii| dukAnadAra yaha dikhAe, vaha dikhAe, bhA~ti-bhA~ti kI cIz2oM kA Dhera kA Dhera sAmane rakha de, para ve saba kI saba kharAba nikaleM; kisI kA raMga gaharA ho jAya, kisI kA jyAdA halkA; isameM yaha ho jAya to usameM kucha aura cIz2a ja~cane ke najadIka -

Page #63
52 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] Ae to kImata usakI adhika nikala pdd'e| maiMne kahA, "tuma loga ghUmakara dekha lo| maiM usa khaddara bhaNDAra para milU~gA / vahIM A jAnA / " una sabane ise prasannatA se svIkAra kiyA / balA TalI, aura maiM khaddara bhaNDAra para apane apane mitra ke pAsa A baiThA / eka ghaNTA ho gayA, do ghaNTe / pAnavAlA Akara lauTa gayA / nahIM ! dina-bhara baiThe gapa thor3e hI lagAI jA sakatI haiM / itavAra hai to kyA, ghara para aura bhI kAma haiM / yahA~ jaise anaginata ghaNTe maiM yoM hI unakI pratIkSA meM baiThA rahU~gA ! ukatA kara maiM unakI talAza meM calA / para calatA hI hU~ ki dIkhA, ve to ve A rahI haiN| dUsarI ora ke phuTapAtha para haiM, aba idhara Ane ke lie mur3anA cAhatI haiM / sAmAna ke choTe baMDala saba ke pAsa vaTe hue haiN| calo, jhagar3A miTA, inakI saudAgarI to khatma huI / ve mur3akara cA~danI cauka kI bIca sar3aka para AI nahIM, ki dekhatA hU~ pAnavAlA kahIM se zrAkara unake sAmane jA pahu~cA hai / vaha ruka gaI haiM / mere kAna meM jaise AvAja AI, " pvAina binArisa / ba ... AilA pvAina binAsa pvAina !" maiMne goyA yaha bhI dekhA ki vaha una apanI surmA lagI A~khoM ko jarA-jarA jhapA kara oThoM ka kinAroM se ha~sa rahA hai / dekhatA hU~ ki salAI se bIr3A uThA kara usane serI bhatIjI ko diyA hai, aura usane liyA hai / maiM taiza khAtA huA calA / pAsa pahu~cakara mAno usa saba maNDalIko cetAvanI dete hue bolA, "kyA hai ?" pAnavAlA usI taraha mAno mugdha prema se muskarAtA huA merI ora mur3A maiMne kahA, "kyA hai ?" merI bahina ne kahA, "eka pAna hameM bhI do / " lagabhaga sAtha hI merI patnI ne kahA, "eka mujhe bhI denA / " bhatIjI ne pAna kI pahalI pIka thUkate hue kahA, "cAcAjI,

Page #64
pAnavAlA 53 tuma bhI le lo eka bar3A acchA hai / eka aura lagA denA, bhaI / " maiMne kahA, "nahIM; mujhe nahIM lenA..." pAnavAle ne pAna taiyAra karate-karate merA javAba sunakara merI ora dekhA, mAno vaha merI anudAratA para vismita hai / maiMne kahA, "aura tuma logoM ne itanI dera lagA dI ! ghara nahIM calanA hai kyA ? le - lAkara khatama karo, jaldI calo / " bahina ne itra lagate hue pAnoM kI tarapha dekhate " calate haiM / " hue kahA, maiMne kahA, "calatI kyA ho, calo / " una donoM ke pAna lene para maiM phira nahIM ThaharA / sIdhA cala kara ghara AyA / maiMne kara liyA, maiM pAnavAle se bilakula sambandha nahIM rakkhU~gA / kabhI usakA pAna nahIM khAU~gA / kambakhta itanI himmata rakhatA hai ! bhUkhA hai, to isa taraha nadIdI A~kha kahIM-kahIM DAlatA phiregaa| aura inheM bhI to dekho, inheM usakA pAna bar3A svAdiSTa lagatA hai ! zAnta ghaNToM meM jaba socatA hU~ to isameM to mujhe sandeha nahIM raha jAtA ki vaha bicArA bhUkhA itanA hai ki bhojya sAmane dekhakara apanI dRSTi ko thAmA usase nahIM jAtA / vaha kyA kare ? bhUkha asahya ho jAyagI to bhUkhA curAe binA kaise rahegA ? aura bAhara bhUkha miTAne ke sAmAna na karake jo sarakAra jelakhAne khar3e karegI, unake andara le jAkara sahI, bhUkhe kI bhUkha to miTAnI hI par3egI / nahIM to bhUkhe kI bhUkha usI ko khA jAyagI / lekina, jaba apane sambandha kI apekSA usa pAnavAle kI nigAha kI yAda AtI hai, to jI meM AtA hai usakI A~kha phUTa jAya / ke cA~danI cauka meM gayA to vaha pAnavAlA usa taraha

Page #65
4 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] bina-mA~ge pAna uThAkara sAmane na peza kara sakA / usane pUchA, "pAna dU~, bAbUjI ?" maiMne usakI tarapha dekhakara bhartsanA ke svara meM kahA, "nahIM / " vaha muskarAtA na raha sakA / para A~kheM mAno aba bhI usakI rasa se bharI rahIM / usane kahA, "bAbUjI, Aja binA paise kA le lIjie / " maiMne gusse se kahA, "nahIM lete| kaha diyA eka bAra / aba tuma jAte kyoM nahIM ?" usane kahA, "bAbUjI, nArAja ho gaye ?" maiMne kahA, jAo !" " nArAja ho gayA, maiM pAna nahIM letA / basa, tuma vaha calA gayA / : 3 : jina RSiyoM ke kruddha dRSTi-nikSepa se Aga laga jAtI thI, vaha jAne kaise hote hoNge| merA krodha to usa pAnavAle ko zarArata se bAja nahIM lA sakA / usa dina mere tana meM Aga laga gaI, jaba maiMne use apane ghara ke daravAje para dekhA / Upara se merI bhatIjI jhA~ka rahI thI, AsapAsa bhI tamAzA dekhane zaukIna khar3e ho gaye the, aura vaha pAna taiyAra kara rahA thaa| mere dekhate-dekhate usane taiyAra karake tInacAra bIr3e eka pAsa khar3e lar3ake ko diye aura kahA, "beTA, inheM Upara de Ao / " maiM jaldI-jaldI ghara meM praviSTa ho gayA / isa pAnavAle ne jo mujhe dekha prasanna hokara kahA, "bAbUjI A gaye", so maiMne jaise sunA nahIM / usa pAna liye hue lar3ake se pahale hI dhama-dhama Upara pahu~ca kara puSpA ko bulAkara kahA, "puSpA, yaha kyA hai ! yaha yahA~

Page #66
pAnavAlA 55 kyoM AyA hai ? kisane Ane diyA hai aura kisane pAna liye haiM ?" puSpA ne kahA, "yaha to bahuta dera kA isa galI meM yahA~ se do-tIna bAra ghUma gayA hai / " Akhira, hAra kara kahA, "cAra bIr3e pAna le le, bicArA bar3I dera se rahA hai / " AyA hai / buA ne hairAna ho maiM kyA karU~ ? maiMne kahA, "nahIM, usakI yahA~ kucha jarUrata nahIM hai / " puSpA ne kahA, "vaha Apako pUchatA thA / Apake hI vAste, kahatA thA, itane vakta se ghUma rahA hai / " maiMne kahA, "mere lie ghUmatA thA ! badamAza bAteM banAtA hai / " lekina kucha dera meM maiM nIce baiThaka meM pahu~ca gayA / socA, dekhU~, badamAza mujha se kisa kAma kA bahAnA banAtA hai / usane kahA, "pAna le lIjie, hujUra !" maiMne kahA, "pAna nahIM lU~gA, kAma batAo / " usane kahA, "hujUra, ApakA ghara dekhane AyA thA / " maiMne kahA, "ghara dekhane AyA thA ? nahIM, koI kAma nahIM hai ghara dekhane kA / aba kabhI idhara mata AnA, usane kahA, "galatI ho gaI ho to samajhe / " mApha kara deN| mujha para nArAz2a na raheM / " "maiMne kahA, nahIM, tuma yahA~ mata AnA / " vaha isI prakAra kahatA rahA ki mujhe usa para nArAja na honA caahie| use mApha kara denA caahie| vaha mere pairoM par3a sakatA hai, aura ghara-bhara ke pairoM meM par3a sakatA hai / maiM jAnatA thA, yaha saba cAlAkI hai| jAnatA thA ki apanA krodha mujhe kama nahIM karanA cAhie, AdamI yaha bahuta hI badamAza hai / lekina krodha usa taraha pracaNDa raha sakA hI nahIM / jAne kyA thA usakI mudrA meM jo drava thA aura drAvaka thA / una surve lagI H2294

Page #67
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] DorIlI, zarAbI kI-sI A~khoM meM hI jaise kucha aisI dInatA kA rasa thA jo uThatI-uThatI glAni ko dabAkara use kucha sakaruNa banA detA thaa| mAno Upara jo phailA kara kAmuka behayAI bichAI huI hai usake bhItara DhakA huA lajIlA aura rasIlA sneha ciraruddha, suSupta, phira bhI mAno cirAtRpta, sajaga cupacApa par3A hai| usane kahA, "bAbUjI, yaha bIr3A le lIjie, taba maiM jAnU~ Apane mApha kara diyA / " __maiMne yahI kahA ki use idhara sadgRhasthoM ke makAnoM kI ora nahIM AnA cAhie aura mujhe pAna khAne kI Adata nahIM hai| usane bhI kahA ki vaha aba nahIM AvegA sirpha makAna dekhane ke lie AyA thA, jisase z2arUrata par3a jAya to phira A ske| kucha dinoM meM vaha dillI chor3akara hI jAne vAlA hai / phira merI usase aura bhI bAteM huii| kahA~ jAyagA, yaha mAlUma nahIM hai / jAyagA kisI bar3e zahara meM hii| yahA~ kirAye kI eka koTharI meM rahatA thaa| do mahIne yahA~ raha cukA hai| AvArA hai| koI usake nahIM hai| yahA~ nAma mAlUma karake pUchatA-pUchatA calA AyA thA / merA nAma bhI batAyAharizaMkara ema. e. / kisI khAsa matalaba se nahIM AyA thA, yoM hI zrA gayA thaa| pAna ke kAma meM use naphA nahIM hai| vaha aura kAma nahIM kara sktaa| basa, kara sakatA hI nahIM hai| jAnatA bhI nahIM hai, tabIyata bhI nahIM hai / kucha rupayA hai usake pAsa, vaha isa kAma meM kho jAyagA to kho jAne do / kharca vaha itanA kama karatA hai ki bIsa sAla taka gujArA karane meM use dikkata nahIM hogii| aisA sApha vaha isalie rahatA hai ki rahanA par3atA hai / pAnoM se pAna ke kharca ke lAyaka paise nikala AyeM to yaha bahuta hai| vaha aura kucha cAhatA bhI nahIM hai|

Page #68
pAnavAlA 57 bilakula nahIM bahA detI aura jA skegaa| maiMne itanI bAteM isalie kara lI ki vaha aba dillI chor3akara jA rahA hai hI, aura vahA~ na Ane kA vacana de cukA hai| AyagA to maiM isakI marammata karavA duuNgaa| para pA nahIM skegaa| aisI himmata isa AdamI kI mAlUma nahIM detI aura ina bAtoM meM jhUTha bola rahA ho, aisA bilakula nahIM mAlUma hotaa| vaha do-tIna bIr3e mere yahA~ chor3akara calA gayA | maiMne bahuterA kahA, para vaha mAnA hI nhiiN| bahuta kahA to kahane lagA, "inheM yahIM par3e rahane dIjiegA, sUkha jaayNge| ApakA kucha haje nahIM kreNge| harja kareM to pheMka diijiegaa|" isakA uttara maiM kyA de sakatA thaa| khAne to mujhe the nahIM, jyAdA bar3hakara pheMka denA bhI ThIka nahIM hotA / vApisa vaha letA thA nahIM / maiM rakhane ko lAcAra ho gayA / zurU meM to paise lene se usane inkAra kiyA, lekina phira paise le liye aura calA gayA / :4: hamAre ghara meM kabhI-kabhI 'pvAina binArisa' kA jikra zrA uThatA thA, aura hama loga usa para jI kholakara ha~sate the| usakI cAla-DhAla, rahana-sahana para bhI khUba vinodapUNe AlocanA huA karatI thii| isa taraha ke kAma meM to usakI yAda kAma A jAtI thI, vizeSa mujhe usakA kucha smaraNa nahIM raha gayA thaa| usakI jarUrata hI kyA thI ? samaya ke pravAha meM vaha vAta AI-gaI hotI jAtI thI / jaise rAha calate kabhI eka tamAzA dIkha gayA thA,eka minaTa khar3e hokara hamane dekha liyA, aura phira Age bar3hate cale Aye / vaha azubha graha kI bhA~ti phira kabhI hamAre rAste AyegA aura usako kATatA huA apanI rAha calA jAyagA, aisI durAzA hameM na thii| eka roja bar3e tar3ake dekheM ki vaha maujUda ! maiM AvAja sunakara

Page #69
58 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga nIce AtA hU~ to acaraja meM raha jAtA huuN| zakala usakI vahI hai, para pahacAnA nahIM jAtA / maile-kucaile kapar3e pahane haiM, dhotI ghuTane se nIce nahIM pahu~ca paatii| TopI kA bhI kucha ThIka ThikAnA nahIM hai| usane kahA, "bAbUjI pahacAnA nahIM ?" maiMne kahA, "pahacAnA / pAnavAle ho / para yaha kyA hAla hai !" usane kahA, "bAbUjI, hAla kucha nahIM hai| maiM abhI lAhauraamRtasara se A rahA huuN| aba dakkhana kI tarapha jaauuNgaa| ghaNTe Der3ha-ghaNTe meM udhara kI gAr3I jAtI hai / Apase eka jarUrI kAma hai, isase calA aayaa|" maiM bar3e asamanjasa meM par3a gyaa| aise vakta, aisI hAlata meM, yaha apanA jarUrI kAma lekara mere pAsa calA A rahA hai, jAne yaha kyA nayA bavAla hai| mujhase isa AdamI kA kyoM koI kAma honA caahie| kahA, "kyoM, pAna kA kAma chor3a diyA kyA ?" . usane Azcarya se kahA, "nahIM jI, chor3a kyoM dU~gA ? chor3a kaise sakatA hU~ ?" ___ "phira kucha bahuta nukasAna ToTA to nahIM A gayA ?" / usane kahA, "aisA bahuta ToTA bhI nahIM aayaa.| phira koI bahuta naphe ke lie maiM thor3A hI karatA hU~ ?" jAne kaisI bAta karatA hai yh| merI kucha samajha meM nahIM aayaa| aisI durgati meM phira yaha kyoM hai ? pUchA, "phira kyA bAta hai ?" bolA, "bAta jI, kucha nahIM hai| maiM Apake pAsa eka bar3I vinatI lekara AyA hU~ / basa aura kucha bAta nahIM hai|" maiMne samajhA, aba balA AI / jarUra kucha rupayA-paisA maaNgegaa| aisI hAlata meM inkAra bhI kaise kiyA jAyagA, aura ise de bhI

Page #70
pAnavAlA 56 kaise kucha skuuNgaa| maiMne kahA, "tumhArA pAna-vAna kA sAmAna kahA~ hai ?" ___ "vaha saba hai jI, vahIM rela meM rakhA hai," vaha bolA / sAtha hI eka choTI gaTharI-sI kholatA jAtA thA / "bAbUjI, mujhe aura koI nahIM milA / merA mana hAratA jA rahA hai| bAbUjI, mujhe ApakA bharosA hai / maiM itanI dUra se isIlie A rahA huuN|..." gaTharI kholatA jA rahA aura bAta karatA jAtA thA / maiM mana meM sazaMka ho rahA thA / kaisI nirvighnatA ke sAtha mujha para isane bharosA kara liyA hai ! para maiM kucha nahIM de sakU~gA / khUba bharosA karane vAlA ThaharA ! usakI betukI bAtoM ko khatma kara maiM chuTTI le lenA cAhatA thA / kahegA, yaha ho gayA, vaha ho gayA, kucha madada kara dIjie / maiMne kahA, "maiM tumhAre lie kucha nahIM kara sakU~gA, samajhe ?" usake gaTharI kholate hue hAtha DhIle ho gye| mAno yAcanA A~khoM meM bhara aaii| "bAbUjI, nA mata kro| merA dama hAratA jA rahA hai / kai barasa aura raha sakU~gA, kauna jAnatA hai| phira maiM kise aura DhU~DhatA phirU~gA ? bAbUjI, hAtha jor3eM, nA mata kro| maiM bahuta-bahuta ApakA jasa maanuuNgaa|" ___ maiMne dekhA, abhI yaha cAlIsa barasa kA na hogA, kaisI bAta kara rahA hai / jIvana se aisA hirAsa ho gayA hai ki mauta kI bAta karatA hai / maiMne kahA, "phira bAta kyA hai, kaha bhI to kuch|" ___usane phira gaTharI kholanI prArambha kara dI aura sAtha-sAtha bolane bhI lagA, "aba aura bahuta jagaha nahIM jaauuNgaa| ghUmateghUmate sAta sAla ho gye| aba 5-7-10 jagaha aura dekhanI hai| phira karama meM jo hogA-"

Page #71
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] gaTharI usase dera meM khulI / khola kara kapar3oM kI taha kI bhI taha ke bhItara kucha dekhane lgaa| dera lagatI dekha maiMne kahA, "vahA~ bhI pAna kA hI kAma karegA ?" "hA~ jI" usane kahA, "jindagI ke akhIrI dina taka yaha kAma karatA rhuuNgaa| hAtha-paira nahIM caleMge, taba chor3a duuNgaa|" maiMne pUchA, "aba aise bhesa se karegA ? pahale to aisA nahIM rahatA thaa|" usane kahA, "aise bhesa se kyoM karUMgA, pahale se bhI acche bhesa se karU~gA / aise bhesa se pAna kA kAma karanA hotA to ghUmatA kyoM phiratA, bAbUjI !" maiMne kahA, "to vaha ThATha usI vakta ke lie hai ?" . lekina usane merI bAta sunI nahIM, kyoMki tabhI usakI icchita vastu kapar3oM meM mila gaI thii| usa DibiyA ko khola kara mere sAmane karate hue kahA, "bAbUjI, yaha rakha liijie|..." ___ maiMne dekhA, sone ke cAra-pA~ca jevara haiM / naye haiM, aura kImatI haiN| __maiMne socA, jAne kyA saMkaTa yaha zrAdamI mere Upara lAne vAlA hai / maiMne kahA, "becate ho inheM ?-maiM nahIM lenA caahtaa|" ___ "nahIM, nahIM" usane kahA, "becatA nhiiN| inheM becU~ to naraka meM jAU~ / inheM Apa rakha liijie|..." ___maiMne kahA, "maiM kyA karU~gA inakA ?" vaha bolA, "maiM abhI batAtA huuN|" maiMne kahA, "maiM nahIM rakha sakatA / parAI cIz2a maiM nahIM rkhtaa| aisA byohAra maiM nahIM krtaa|" usane kahA, "bAbUjI, rakha lIjiegA to bar3I dayA hogii| jAne ghUmate-ghUmate merI A~kha kaba mica jaay| inheM liye-liye maiM

Page #72
pAnavAlA kahA~-kahA~ DolU ? jokhoM kI cIz2a mujha garIba ke pAsa acchI nahIM / jaba jarUrata hogI mA~ga luuNgaa| mere jIte-jI yA marane para ye kisI cora-ucakke ke hAtha par3a jAya~gI / bAbUjI, ye cIjeM maiM kisI cora ke hAtha meM nahIM par3ane duuNgaa|" maiMne kahA, "to maiM inakA kyA karU~gA ?" "maiM batAtA hU~" usane kahA aura isake bAda eka aurata kA bakhAna karanA zurU kara diyaa| bakhAna se maiM yaha samajha sakA ki yaha strI paryApta rUpa meM asundara rahI hogI / usakA nakha-zikha-varNana karake usane kahA, "isa huliyA kI strI mile to use de denA / mujhe milegI to maiM mA~ga luuNgaa|" maiMne pUchA, "vahaM kauna hai ?" usane kahA, "jI, ye saba cIjeM usakI hI haiN|" maiMne kahA, "haiM to, para vaha tumhArI kauna hai ?" vaha isa prazna ke lie jaise taiyAra na thaa| usane kahA, "merI ? merI, jI vaha koI nahIM hai|" usakI isa bAta kA koI vizvAsa kara sakegA, yaha vaha kaise samajha sakatA thaa| maiMne batalA diyA ki saba-kucha jAna liye bagaira maiM cIjeM rakhane ke lie bilakula taiyAra na huuNgaa| vaha lAcAra ho gyaa| __lAcAra hokara, maiM jAnatA hU~, vaha nihAla bhI ho gyaa| jisa vastu ko barasoM-barasa apane bhItara dubakAye rakhakara, usako posatA aura suhalAtA huA vaha bhaTakatA rahA hai, / hRdaya meM se phAr3a nikAlakara usako vaha hara kisI kI utsuka dRSTi ke sAmane lAkara kaise rakha sakatA thA ? lekina kyA vaha, saca, nahIM cAhatA ki kisI mAnavI hRdaya ke sAmane aisA karanA hI par3a jAya ? kyoMki taba dUsare hRdaya kI sahAnubhUti kI halkI-sI garmI pAkara usake hRdaya kI pattharakI-sI jama kara baiThI huI vedanA dravita hokara A~khoM kI

Page #73
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] rAha kucha bhara to jA skegii| use taba kucha ArAma milegaa| usa patthara ko dila meM rakhakara jo bAjAra meM use hara Ate-jAte strI puruSa ke sAmane ha~sate rahanA har3atA hai, usa bedarda vyApAra se usakA jI bharakara aisA bhArI ho pAyA hai ki kahIM kucha A~sU DhAlakara halakA ho rahane ke lie vyAkula hai / vaha bahuta dera taka kahatA to rahA ki vaha usakI 'koI nahIM hai, koI nahIM hai, kintu jaba use kahanA hI par3a gayA, taba nadI ke ruke hue vega kI taraha phUTakara vaha baha niklaa| maiM bhI usa samaya sa~bhala na sakA! ___maiM Apako kaSTa denA nahIM caahtaa| isalie, usa bAta ko Aveza se aura bhAva se hIna karake itihAsa ke satya kI bhA~ti korI-korI sunA duuNgaa| ___ vaha strI usakI byAhatA thii| vaha banArasa ke pAsa eka gA~va meM rahatA thA / vaizya hai, mAmUlI taura para sampanna thaa| apane sAdA DhaMga se rahatA thaa| strI bar3e ghara kI nahIM thI, mAmUlI thI, isalie, usake jI meM acchA khAne-pahanane kA cAva bahuta thA / usake pati kA calana badalane meM na AtA thaa| vaha ina bAtoM ko acchA nahIM jAnatA thA, para strI ko bar3A pyAra karatA thaa| usI gA~va meM thA eka pnvaadd'ii| vahA~ se ghara meM pAna AyA karate the| jaba panavAr3I ne jAnA ki pati pAna nahIM khAtA, patnI hI pAna ma~gAyA karatI hai, taba eka dina usane cA~dI kA varka lagA pAna bhejaa| pAnavAlA khUba sajAvaTa se rahatA thaa| prArambha isa taraha se huA, anta yaha huA ki patnI eka roja ghara meM na pAI gaI / pAnavAle kA bhI gA~va meM patA na milA / jevara saba le gaI thI, durbhAgya se ye kucha raha gaye the| ye usa samaya vahA~ na the| taba se vaha jagaha-jagaha DolatA rahA hai| makAna, jamIna sabase chuTTI lekara, una sabako nakada rupayA banA kara jAne kahA~-kahA~ ghUma AyA hai / para natIjA

Page #74
pAnavAlA aba taka kucha nahIM niklaa| aba pA~ca-sAta bar3e zahara aura raha gaye haiN| vahA~ bhI bhAgya AjamA legaa| isa Thosa ghaTanAmaya asthipaMjara ke Upara nirarthaka nityaprati ke ApasI rAga-prema ke vyApAroM se chAyA sajIva kalevara prastuta karake jo atIta kI vedanA-mUrti usane mere sAmane khar3I kara dI thI, usako Apa tathya-priya logoM ke sAmane rakhanA maiM ucita nahIM samajhatA / usane kahA, ____ "hAya, maiMne use kucha sukha nahIM phuNcaayaa| usa bicArI ke mana ke lAyaka bhI maiM apane ko na banA skaa| use kyoM nahIM maiMne sabakucha lA-lAkara diyA ? maiM use santuSTa nahIM rakha sakA, tabhI to use jAnA pdd'aa| aba milegI to use kucha kamI na rahane duuNgaa| hAya, bicArI mere Asare par3akara AI, aura maiM aisA nikammA ki use itanA duHkhI kiyA ki vaha bhAga gii| dukha de-de kara maiMne use nikAla diyaa| aba aisA nahIM kruuNgaa| usI kI rAjI meM cluuNgaa|" usane bAta-bAta meM mujhase do-eka savAla bhI kiye| pUchA "aba mujhe dekhakara vaha napharata to nahIM karegI ? aba maiM khUba acchI taraha surmA lagA-lagU kara rahU~gA, kyoM bAbUjI ?" maiMne samajha liyA ki zAyada apanI isI zaMkA kA samAdhAna aura apanI isI yogyatA kI mUka parIkSA kara DAlane ke lie vaha jhaTa pahu~ca kara AtI-jAtI strI kI ora bhAva-bharI A~khoM se dekhakara mAno nirNaya ke lie yAcanA kiyA karatA thaa| prazna ke uttara ke lie bahuta jida karane para maiMne kaha diyA thA ki aba vaha to kyA, koI strI dekhegI to usa para lubdha ho jaaygii| usane mujhe sarvajJa jAnakara yaha bhI pUchA thA ki kyA usakI strI use mila jAyagI ?

Page #75
janendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] maiMne apanI dRr3ha AzA prakaTa kI thii| usakI icchAnusAra sacce hRdaya se maiMne use AzvAsana diyA thA ki maiM use DhU~Dhane meM kucha na uThA rktuuNgaa| yaha saba-kucha vaha apane rela ke samaya hone se pahale kara cukA aura vaha DibiyA mujhe sauMpa kara calA gayA / phira mujhe usakA kucha patA na calA / na strI kA hI kucha hAla milane meM aayaa| do sAla bAda jo eka kArDa mujhe milA, vaha maiMne rakhA nhiiN| para vaha mujhe yAda hai / nAgapura se vaha AyA thA / likhA thA___"merA anta roja aba pAsa A gayA hai| do-eka dina abhI yahA~ dharatI para aura raha jaauuNgaa| vaha AtI bAbUjI, to maiM paramAtmA kI saugandha khAkara kahatA hU~, use aba kisI bAta kI kamI nahIM hone detaa| para vaha DaratI hogI, isI mAre nahIM AI / bAbUjI, maiM milatA to kahatA, tU phijUla DaratI hai| koI use mile to yahI kahe ki vaha mUrakha hai, nAhaka DaratI hai| aura yahA~ chiddA paMsArI ko jo kucheka rupaye mere pAsa baca rahe the vaha de diye haiN| do sau se pA~ca-sAta Upara haiN| aura eka a~gUThI bar3I acchI mujhe dIkha gaI thI, vaha maiMne le lI thii| vaha bhI usI ke pAsa hai| Apa jarUrajarUra khata DAla kara ma~gA lenA aura lachamaniyA mile to use de denA / aura kahanA, tU phijUla DaratI thii| kahanA, chiH, DarA karate haiM ? bAbUjI, itanA kAma Apa jarUra kara doge, isakA mujhe bharosA hai..." ciTThI pAte hI maiMne apane eka mitra ko nAgapura tAra diyA / use chiddA pansArI kA patA likha diyA aura pAnavAle ko DhUMDha kara usa kI yathAyogya vyavasthA kara dene ko likha diyaa|

Page #76
65 chihA ne mere mitra ke nikaTa apanI sarvathA anabhijJatA prakaTa kI / "gaGgAjI kI kasama, maiM kucha nahIM jAnatA / kisI ne mujhe kucha nahIM diyA / pAnavAle ko maiMne janama-janama nahIM dekhA / " Adi / so, ve cIjeM mere pAsa aba bhI haiN| para socatA hU~, kisI dIna vidhavA ko de dU~ / nahIM to, batAie, kyA karU~ ? pAnavAlA

Page #77
vaha anubhava 1 kabhI-kabhI hotA hai ki hama apane se ghire nahIM hote / mAmUlI taura para yaha yA vaha hameM vyasta rakhatA hai / para cetanA kI eka ghar3I hotI hai ki jaba hama jAge to hote haiM para rIte bhI hote haiM / usa samaya jo saca A~kha khole hameM nahIM dIkhA karatA vahI bhItara ti ho jAtA hai / jAna par3atA hai ki jina AdamiyoM ne kinhIM gaharI sacAiyoM kA AviSkAra kiyA hai, vaha unhoMne aise hI kSaNoM meM upalabdha kI haiN| svayaM meM ve hAra rahe haiM aura unakA abhimAna unase chUTa gayA hai / usa samaya mAnoM ve apane ko kula kA kula kholakara basa pratIkSA meM ho rahe haiM / kucha unako taba ulajhAe nahIM rahatA / usI muhUrtta unake antara mAnasa para sacAI kI rekha dIpazalAkA kI bhA~ti khiMca rahatI hai| saca eka jagaha chor3akara dUsarI jagaha to hai nahIM / vaha saba kahIM hai| asala meM hai to vahI hai| hama hI apane-apane cakkaroM meM haiM; isase vahI saba jo hama meM se hara eka meM hai, aura saba kahIM hai, hameM agocara hI rahatA hai / usameM rahakara bhI hama usase bace rahate haiN| usake bhItara hokara hama mukta hI haiM, para apane meM hokara hama khuda hI jakar3a rahate haiM / 66

Page #78
vaha anubhava aisI hI eka bAta eka dina mana para aise acAnaka pratyakSa ho gaI ki usake nIce kucha ghar3I ko mana avasanna ho gyaa| usa sthiti ko harSa yA viSAda nahIM kahA jA sakatA hai| eka prakAra kI paripUrNatA kI vaha sthiti hai| maiM nahIM jAnatA ki zakkara kI DalI yadi madhu meM chor3a dI jAya to usameM ghulate hue usako kaisA anubhava hogaa| apane ko khotI huI bhI vaha jaise apanI hI miThAsa ko adhikatA se prApta kregii| para maiM vaha kucha nahIM kaha sktaa| san 30 I0 meM jela gayA thA / para gA~dhI-iravina samajhaute se loga bIca meM hI rihAI pA gaye the| hama kucha loga pA~ca-sAta dina kI derI se chuutte| kyoMki kAgajAta ke dillI se Ane kA intajAra thA / jela se bAhara nikale to aura hI havA thii| bAhara kI vistIrNatA para A~kha jAkara bar3A harSa mAnatI thii| piMjare se nikalakara khulA AsamAna pakSI ekAeka pAye to kaisA lagatA hogA ? yaha dUsarI bAta hai ki AsamAna meM use paira Tekane ko kahIM Thaura na ho, aura dharatI para bhI kisI dUsare ThikAne ke abhAva meM vaha phira piMjare kI yAda kre| para ekAeka to mukta AkAza kI pukAra ke prati apane ko kholakara atizaya dhanya hI vaha anubhava karatA hogaa| ___ yaha paMjAba ke gujarAta kI bAta hai| sTezana ke pAsa eka sampanna vyApArI rahate the / unakA niyama thA ki jela se nikale hue kisI satyAgrahI kaidI ko vaha sIdhe nahIM cale jAne dete / unakA Atithya lA~ghanA asambhava hI thaa| zuddha vinaya aura prema kA yaha anurodha TAlate bhI kisa se bntaa| hama loga bhI pakar3e gye| hamane kahA ki hameM dillI pahu~canA hai aura vahA~ hamArI pratIkSA hogI, kyoMki tAra pahu~ca gayA hai| para na, kisI taraha chuTakArA na thaa| hAtha jor3a kara aisI vinamra mudrA meM unhoMne anurodha doharAyA ki inkAra karanA unheM abhizApa denA ho jaataa| khaira, dillI dUsarA tAra kara diyA

Page #79
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] .68 gayA aura hama loga unake mehamAna bane / kapar3e kI unakI khAsI bar3I koThI thI, aura bhI kArobAra thA / parivAra bharA-pUrA thA / hamane dekhA ki parivAra ke sabhI loga hamArI abhyarthanA meM lage haiN| unakA sneha hArdika thA / hamameM eka AdaraNIya bujurga the | gRhapati unase taraha-taraha kI bAteM kara rahe the / maiM pIche baiThA huA sa~kucita thA / merI nigAha usa kamare kI U~cI chata aura khulI dIvAroM kI tarapha jAtI thii| jela meM saila (cell) hamArA saba kucha thA / yahA~ kamare ke bAda kamare the; aura unake bAda aura kamare / ina kamaroM kI qatAra kI ora niruddezyabhAva se dekhatA huA maiM kucha kho gayA thA / bar3I dUkAna ke barAbara se Ate hue kaI kamare lA~ghakara hama loga DrAiMgarUma meM baiThe hue the| mujhe jela kI saGkIrNatA ke bAda isa ghara kI yaha prazastatA bar3I manabhAvanI laga rahI thI / kRpaNatA kahIM hai hI nahIM / hara kamare meM se dvAra dUsare kamare meM khulatA hai / janAnA hissA koThI ke pIche hai aura mardAne hisse meM hara subhIte ke sAtha parivAra ke hara sadasya ke lie alahadagI aura ekAnta hai / maiM kucha saGkIrNatA meM palA hU~ / vaibhava kA prasAra mujhe acchA lagatA hai| RSi-muni guhAoM meM rahate the / para guhA zabda kI dhvani meM mere mana ko prasAda prApta nahIM hotA / choTI jagaha, jahA~ se AkAza kaTa gayA hai aura sira chata se chU jAtA hai, jaise vahA~ sIdhe khar3e nahIM ho sakate, jhukakara hI baiThanA hogA, guhA se kucha aisA lagatA hai| nahIM vaha nhiiN| khule meM mana khulatA hai| yA kamarA ho to hAlanumA, jahA~ chata hai to bahuta U~cI aura dIvAreM dUra-dUra jaise ki kAphI AsamAna isameM A gayA hai / maiM makAna cAhatA hU~, to prazasta - kakSa aura unnata bhAla / saca to yaha hai ki jise khulA - pana cAhie vaha makAna ke cakkara meM hI na pdd'e| makAna vahI jo ghirA hai / saba ora se ghira kara sirpha darvAje ke bhItara se vaha

Page #80
vaha anubhava khulatA hai| nahIM kaha sakatA ki merI aisI ruci meM kAraNa kyA hai / RSi-muni mukti ke lie hI giri-kandarA meM pahu~ce / aura U~ceU~ce bar3e mahala banAkara dhanADhyoM ne aura rAjAoM ne apane liye jakar3a hI paidA kii| isase yaha kahanA sahI nahIM hogA ki khule makAna meM hI khulI AtmA nivAsa karatI hai| hamyoM meM saMsArI aura kuTiyoM meM vItarAgI nivAsa karate sune jAte haiM / zAyada, kAraNa kuTiyA kA chuTapana aura havelI kA bar3appana na hokara, yaha ho ki havelI muhalle meM ghirI hai aura kuTI vanAkAza meM mukt| para vaha jo ho, mujhe makAna khulA acchA lagatA hai| sadA choTe aura banda makAnoM meM rahane kI vajaha se tabIyata khulanA cAhatI ho, yaha ho, yA ki usa vakta jela kI sela (cell) se A rahA thA, yaha asala bAta ho| jo ho usa bar3e ghara ko vizada suvidhA para mana jAkara usa samaya bar3A ArAma anubhava kara rahA thA / / bhojana ke lie hama loga cauke meM phuNce| caukA pIche koThI ke janAne hisse meM thaa| makAna ke andara hI andara koI prAdhA phAga hameM calanA huaa| rAste meM bagIcenumI eka sahana pdd'aa| para usake atirikta gailarI ke barAbara aura kaI kamare mile jo sabhI sAmAna aura sAja se bharapUra the| gRhapati sAtha-sAtha cala rahe the| vaha lagabhaga sATha barasa kI vaya ke hoNge| vidhura the aura putra-pautra saba kArabAra sambhAlate the| zAyada chaH yA kitane putra the| saba vivAhita aura unake bAla-bacce the| do kanyAe~ bhI usa samaya apanI susarAla se vahA~ AI huI thiiN| isa taraha ghara harA-bharA thaa| gRhapati hamAre AdaraNIya sAthI ko yaha saba batalAte jA rahe the| ___ bhojana ke anantara kucha ArAma kiyaa| phira nAztA A phuNcaa| parivAra ke logoM meM hamArI sukha-suvidhA kI cintA kA pAra na thaa| zAma ko eka sabhA huI aura vahA~ vyAkhyAna Adi hue|

Page #81
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] isake bAda phira bhojana / tadanantara rAta ko hama apane-apane palaMga para sone ke lie A gaye / 70 hama pA~ca the / eka bar3e kamare meM hama pA~coM ke palaMga biche hue the / hamArA sAmAna chuA bhI nahIM gayA thA aura hara palaMga para pUrA bistara nayA bichA thA / kucha dera to vaha vRddha aura hama loga carcA karate rahe / phira vaha uThakara apane bistara para cale gaye / usa kamare se lagI huI eka choTI koTharI thI / unakI khATa vahIM bichI thI / AsapAsa saba so rahe the / mujhe nIMda nahIM AI / jela se bAhara kA pahalA dina thA / saba-kucha nayA laga rahA thA / maiM chata kI ora dekhatA huA par3A thA | bijalI kI bahuta halkI battI jala rahI thI / gRhapati ke sone kI jagaha mere pAsa hI thI aura sAfa dIkhatI thI / vaha rajAI or3he so rahe the| paira unake sikur3e the aura palaMga kA AdhA hissA bhI usase nahIM bhara rahA thA / takie para sira Teke bAlaka kI nAI vaha par3e the / dekhate-dekhate sahasA eka vicAra bijalI kI taraha mujhe kauMdha gayA / usameM zabda nahIM the aura taTa nahIM the| kisI prakAra kI paribhASA use nahIM dI jA sakatI hai| vicAra nahIM, use bhAva kahanA cAhie, balki bhAva bhI use kyA kheN| bijalI kA kyA kAra hotA hai ? usakI zakla kyA hai, jisakA nAma bijalI hai ? aise hI isa samaya jo anubhava jaise zarIra ke aNu - paramANu ko stabdha karatA huA mujha meM bhItara taka kauMdha gayA, nahIM jAnatA ki maiM usako kyA kahU~ ? kaise kahakara use batAU~ / pharlAMga meM phailI yaha bar3I havelI aura usake cauka aura usake bagIce aura usase lagI bar3I dukAneM / vaha saba kucha isa samaya kyA ho gayA thA ki una sabakA mAlika yahA~ barAbara meM palaMga para do hAtha jitanI jagaha ghera kara asahAya kI bhA~ti par3A huA hai /

Page #82
vaha anubhava jisake pAsa saba-kucha hai, vahI usa saba-kucha ko chor3akara do hAtha bhara jagaha hI basa apanA sakA hai| bichI khATa para gRhapati kA astitva kitane saMkSepa rUpa meM samApta mAlUma hotA hai / basa vaha to utanA hI hai ! bAkI jo-kucha hai so usakA hone ke lie nahIM hai| bAkI saba-kucha usase parAyA hai / usakI nijatA isase Age nhiiN| isa anubhava ke nIce nahIM mAlUma kitanI dera maiM A~kheM khole par3A rhaa| jAne maiM kyA ho rahA thA ? bAta koI bar3I na thii| lekina usa roja ekAeka aisI apUrva Thokara mana ko lagI ki maiM zravasanna ho gyaa| sAtha hI maiM kRtArtha bhI ho gyaa| jAne kaisA bojha mana para se uThakara eka hI sAtha zUnya meM vilIna ho gyaa| bAra-bAra smRti dina meM dekhI huI isa sajjana puruSa kI samRddhi aura sampannatA kI ora jAtI thii| putra hai aura putravadhU haiN| duhitA haiM, aura dauhitra haiN| nAtI haiM, pote haiN| dhana-dhAnya aura prema-vizvAsa se saba-kucha bharA-pUrA hai aura hariyAlA hai| para usa sabake adhipati ko sone ke lie do hAtha jagaha cAhie, kula do hAtha ! yaha bhI to nahIM ki pUrI khATa vaha ghera ske| ___ usa samaya merA mana huA ki uThakara bAhara jAU~ aura tAroM ko dekhU aura cA~da ko dekhU / Upara AsamAna hai jo ba~doe-sA tanA hai aura jisameM anaginata tAroM ke phUla Ta~ke haiM aura jo sunna hai aura zAnta hai, usake nIce jAU~ aura usakI zUnya zAMti meM apanI usa bharI huI sA~sa ko chor3a duuN| vaha jo ananta hai, vahI hai aura maiM yahA~ kucha nahIM huuN| jI huA ki yaha pratIti apane se isa ananta AkAza kI zUnyatA ke kaNa-kaNa meM se khIMca kara aura roma-roma ke bhItara bhara lU~ aura isa prakAra apane ko dhanya khuuN| para vaha maiM nahIM kara sakA aura chata ko dekhatA huA par3A rhaa| lekina chata ke zahatIra Upara se ur3a gaye the aura aisA mAlUma hotA thA ki Upara AsamAna hI hai| khar3I dIvAreM gira gayI thIM ki

Page #83
72 janendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] jaise bAhara bhItara saba eka hai| roka kahIM nahIM hai| usa samaya mAlUma huA ki maiM alaga nahIM hU~; saba meM huuN| maiM nahIM hU~, kyoMki zUnya hai aura maiM zUnya huuN| maiM kucha nahIM hU~, yaha anubhUti hI merA saba-kucha hai| kaha nahIM sakatA ki mujhe kaba nIMda AI thii| lekina yaha yAda kara sakatA hU~ ki nIMda usa dina thakAna kI nahIM, AzIrvAda kI AyI thii| __Aja saca hai ki vaha anubhava purAnA par3a gayA hai| usa para dhUla-para-dhUla car3hatI jAtI hai| nitya-prati ke kAmoM meM usakA AbhAsa taka nahIM rahatA hai / ahaMkAra dina kI aura rAta kI ghar3iyoM meM hara dama sira para savAra rahatA hai| bhItara pasara kara isa yA usa rUpa meM abhimAna Asana jamAye baiThA hai, yaha saca hai| para isa saba ke pAra hokara raha-raha kara usa itane adhika purAne anubhava para mana jo jAyA karatA hai so kyA isIliye nahIM ki vaha isa saba se kahIM jyAdA saca hai / kauna jAnatA hai ki mAnava-prANI ke liye eka akelA saca anubhava vahI ho / zAyada vahI hai / zAyada nahIM, sacamuca vahI hai / jIva ke pAsa usase bar3I sacAI koI dUsarI nahIM hai, koI dUsarI ho nahIM sakatI hai|

Page #84
kahAnIkAra Ajakala kahAnI kI dhUma hai aura samaya mere pAsa khAlI hai| vaha rItA samaya mujhe bhArI ho-ho AtA hai| nahIM jAnatA, use kaise kaaddhuuN| kAma mere lie jarUrI nahIM hai, kyoMki paisA kAphI hai| isalie jo cIja jarUrI mAlUma hotI hai, vaha nAma hai| nAma aba maiM kaise pAU~ ? vinA kAma nAma kaise ho ? lekina maiMne kahAnI kI dhUma sunI hai aura socatA hU~, kahAnI likhuu| isameM kAma jyAdA mA~gA nahIM jAyagA aura nAma ho hI jaaygaa| __para kyA likhU ? kaise likhU ? par3hA-likhA to maiMne bahuta hai aura maiM jAnatA hU~, maiM vidvAna huuN| maiMne kisa ke lie avakAza chor3A hai ki vaha na jAne, maiM vidvAn huuN| phira bhI vidvattA ThIka vakta para alaga dharI-sI raha jAtI hai, kAma Ane se bacatI hai| aba kahAnI likhane ko tatpara hokara jo maiM baiTha gayA hU~ to jAna par3atA hai, merI vidyA mere cAroM ora cakkara lagAtI huI ghUma rahI hai; pakar3a meM nahIM AtI ki kalama ko gati de| , . so kalama liye-liye maiM baiThA raha gyaa| eka vAkya jyoM-tyoM likhA, phira use kATa diyaa| thor3I dera bAda eka aura bhI likhA, use bhI kaTanA par3A / vicAra bahutere sira meM cakkara mArate rahe para

Page #85
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] unameM koI saMgati ho nahIM dIkha par3ato thii| mujhe mAlUma ho rahA thA, maiM ekadama jAnatA to bahuta-kucha hU~, phira bhI jAne kyoM, likha kucha nahIM pAtA huuN| isI avasthA meM kaba ve ruI ke reze se bhAgate ur3ate hue vicAra aura bhI dra taMpada ho gaye, kaba ve citroM ke rUpa meM sAmane Ane lage aura kaba ve sapane bana cale, patA nhiiN|-ghnnttebhr bAda jaba ArAma-kurasI se maiM uThA taba patA calA ki mujhe nIMda A gaI thii| mujhe bar3A burA mAlUma huA ki kahAnI jaisI cIja bhI maiM nahIM likha pAyA / lekina, kAma ke abhAva meM hI sahI, nAma to mujhe jarUra pAnA hai / isalie kahAnI bhI jarUra mujhe likha DAlanA hai| ____ yahA~ Apako itanA kahU~ ki maiM kaI bhASAe~ jAnatA hU~ aura par3hane ke nAma para bahuta kama aisA par3hane yogya bacA hogA jo maiMne na par3hA ho / maiM samAja meM mAnya ginA jAtA hU~,-pratiSThA ke lie bhI, jJAna ke lie bhii| isake bAda, tatpara hone para bhI, kahAnI jaisI cIja mujhase na likhI jAyagI yaha asahya mAlUma hotA hai| phira bhI kahAnI to likhI gaI nhiiN| kaI bAra koziza kI aura phala zUnya rahA / taba ekAeka baiThe-baiThe eka dina yAda pAyA ki are, yahA~ par3osa meM hI to vaha rahate haiM, kyA nAma hai unakA ?jinheM kahAnI kA dhanI samajhA jAtA hai / calo, unake pAsa caleM / mAlUma kareM ki kahAnI kA kyA gura hai| vahA~ pahu~catA hU~ to dekhatA hU~, eka sIdhe-sAde-se AdamI haiN| kahAnI kA romAnsa bhUle bhI unake AsapAsa nahIM hai / sIdhI-sAdI dhotI hai, usase bhI sIdhA kuratA, aura ghara to ekadama kisI bhI taraha ke raMgabiraMgapana se sUnA hai| jahA~-tahA~ kucha kAgaja, kucha akhabAra, eka-Adha kitAba hai to hai, aura kucha nahIM hai| mujhe yaha kucha acchA nahIM mAlUma huaa| socane lagA, yahA~

Page #86
75 kahAnIkAra kahA~ A gayA ? yahI kahAnI ke guru haiM ? bhale guru haiM ! kahAnI to bar3I raMgIna cIz2a hai, aura ye sUkhe dIkhate haiN| jI huA ki bhUla huI / calo vApasa cala do| ___ usa samaya merI kulInatA hI Ar3e aaii| mere jaisA vyakti bhalA aziSTa ho sakatA hai ? so, ziSTatA ke nAte maiM Akara ekadama lauTa nahIM gyaa| ___ maiMne apanA paricaya unheM diyA, jisa para ve bar3e kRtArtha jAna pdd'e| ve mere nAma se aura bar3AI se paricita the aura bole ki merA sAkSAt karake bahuta prasanna hue| khulakara unase bAta karane kI tabIyata to merI na thI, phira bhI, kucha kahane ke lie maiMne kahA ki Apa to bahuta acchI kahAnI likhate haiM, darzana kI icchA se Apake pAsa A gayA huuN| ____ unhoMne kahA ki logoM kI kRpA hai, vaise jo likhatA hU~ likhatA huuN| isakA saba dhanyavAda to logoM ko hI milanA cAhie jo use acchA kahate haiM aura isalie acchA banA dete haiM / __ hote-hote maiMne kahA ki maiM bhI cAhatA hU~ ki kahAnI likhU, para dekhatA hU~ ki likhI nahI jAtI / batAie, kaise livU ? bole ki likhI nahIM jAtI to cAhie kyoM ? cAhanA chor3ie / kahAnI likhanA kauna aisA bar3A kAma hai ki hara kisI ke lie jarUrI ho ? Apa kahAnI likhe binA kyoM nizcinta nahIM haiM ? ____ maiM unakI tarapha dekha utthaa| koI aura aisI bAta kahatA to maiM use apanA apamAna hI samajhatA / lekina na unake cehare para koI avajJA kA bhAva thA, na zabdoM meM vaisI dhvani / maiMne kahA, "bezaka kahAnI likhanA maiM apanA kAma kyoM banAne lagA / para koI kAraNa nahIM honA cAhie ki maiM kahAnI na likha skuuN|" unhoMne kahA, "bezaka koI kAraNa nahIM hAnA caahie| lekina,

Page #87
jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] agara yatna karake bhI nahIM likha pAye haiM, to kAraNa koI to hai| vaha kyA hai ?" maiMne pUchA, "kyA hai ?" bole, "yaha to Apako svayaM pAnA hogA, kyA hai| kucha to hai hI / ahetuka kyA bAta hotI hai ? Apa apane bhItara se pahale jAnie ki cAhane para bhI kyoM kahAnI nahIM likhI gaI ? aura jaba nahIM likhI gaI to kyoM jarUrI taura para Apako cAhanA par3atA hai ki likhI jAya ? yahI to anumAna hogA na, ki kucha vastu Apako roke hue hai / yA to use abhAva kI paribhASA meM samajhie yA use phira kucha nAma dIjie / vaha abhAva bhara jAya yA vaha vastu haTa jAya to ApakI cAha pUrI hone meM rukAvaTa nahIM rahegI na / aura jaba aisA hogA taba cAha kI jarUrata bhI zanaiH-zanaiH lupta ho jaaygii|" ___ mujhe unakI bAteM kucha a~dherI-sI mAlUma huii| mujhe vaha sabakucha pasanda nahIM aayaa| unake zabdoM meM pakar3ane ko kucha hai nahIM ki jisa para vivAda uThAyA jA sake aura jisako lAThI kI bhA~ti Teka-Teka kara calane se mArga zodhA jA ske| jAna par3A ki kahIM ina mahAzaya kA ahaM-garva hI to parAmarza kI ajJeyatA kA rUpa dhara kara rauba jamAne nahIM sAmane A rahA hai ? ___maiMne kahA, "mujhe ThIka-ThIka batAie ki Apa kahAnI kaise likhate haiN|" ___ unhoMne kahA, "ThIka-ThIka ?" aura kahakara muskarAhaTa ke sAtha mujhe dekhane lge| maiMne kahA, "hA~, ThIka-ThIka / jisase maiM kucha smjhuu|" bole, "dekho bhAI, apane ko pUrI taraha maiM jAnatA nahIM huuN| isalie 'ThIka-ThIka' bhI maiM nahIM jaantaa| phira bhI tuma bahuta ThIkaThIka, cAhate ho to mujhe pUchane do-"

Page #88
kahAnIkAra yaha kaha kara unhoMne pAsa se eka akhabAra khIMca liyA aura vahA~ u~galI se eka zabda ko mujhe dikhAte hue kahA, "yaha akSara kyA hai ?" maiM cupa rhaa| __"yaha 'a' hai na ? Apa 'a' kaise likhate haiM ? aisA hI to jaisA ki yaha chApe meM chapA hai ? ThIka aisA hI 'a' maiM likhatA hU~ / 'ka' bhI vaise hI likhatA hU~, 'kha' bhI vaise hI likhatA huuN| akSara aura zabda saba vaise hI likhatA hU~ jaise Apa likhate haiN| bhASA bhI vahI likhatA hU~ jo hama-Apa saba bolate haiN| 'ThIka-ThIka' to yahI bAta hai, isa meM zrApa merI kyA madada cAhate haiM ? yaha to Apa nahIM cAhate na ki maiM Apako 'a' likhanA batAU~ yA 'ka' likhanA batAU~, yA zabda likhanA batAU~, yA bhASA likhanA batAU~ ? batAne kI to yahI cIjeM haiM / lekina, inake sIkhane se to Apa Upara uTha gye|... Apa jAnate haiM, maiM kyA par3hA hU~ ?" maiM unakI tarapha dekhatA hI raha gyaa| "enTransa bhI pAsa nahIM kiyA hai| yaha bhalI hI bAta huI hai| kyoMki koI bahAnA hI nahIM hai mere pAsa maiM apane ko kucha smjhuu| na par3hA, na likhA, na kula, na zIla, na sUrata, na zakla / isa kucha na hone ke lie maiM paramAtmA kA RNI huuN| usane mujhe sAdhAraNa banAyA, isase bar3I usakI aura kyA dayA ho sakatI thI ? maiM apane ko ati sAdhAraNa hI samajha sakatA huuN| dambha kA mere pAsa kyA bahAnA hai, kahA~ guMjAiza hai ? isalie agara maiM kahAnI likhatA hU~ to kyA yaha nahIM ho sakatA ki koI dambha mere bhItara rukAvaTa banane ke lie upasthita nahIM hai, isalie maiM likha jAtA huuN| Apa kitanA par3he haiM ?" maiMne kahA ki maiM a~grejI jAnatA hU~, phreMca bhI jAnatA huuN| chaH mahIne jarmanI meM rahA thA, jarmana bhI thor3I bahuta jAnatA hI huuN|

Page #89
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] baMgalA ke ravIndra ko maiMne mUla meM par3hA hai / marAThI - gujarAtI bhI thor3I jAnatA hU~ | hindI mAtRbhASA hI hai / - isa bAre meM to zAyada loga mujha se IrSyA kara sakate haiN| 78 unhoMne ha~sakara kahA, "zroH, taba bAkI kyA rahatA hai ? bezaka yaha saubhAgya bhI ho sakatA hai / zAyada saubhAgya hai, agara Apa use durbhAgya na banAe~ / ... eka kAma kara sakiegA ? hai muzkila, lekina utanA hI jarUrI bhI hai / vaha yaha ki jAnate rahie Apa saba kucha, lekina bhUla jAie ki Apa jAnate haiN| kyA yaha ho sakatA hai ? aisA ho to maiM Apa se IrSyA karane lguuN| yahI maiM apane se cAhatA hU~, bhUla jAU~ ki maiM kucha jAnatA hU~ / are, isa anantatA kI goda maiM maiM kisa cIz2a ko kyA jAnU~gA ? maiM isa mahApUrNatA ke zUnya ka meM prasphuTita hote rahane ke lie apane ko chor3a dU~, isase bar3I kyA sArthakatA hai ? isa se bar3A jJAna bhI kyA aura hai ? isalie jo maiM apane se cAhatA hU~, vahI cAhU~gA ki Apa apane se cAheM / " 1 maiMne dekhA, vaha AdamI gadgada hone ke nikaTa A gayA hai / pratIta ho gayA ki yaha AdamI kahAnI - lekhaka hone yogya nahIM hai, mAtra becArA hai / mere mana meM icchA huI ki maiM duniyA ko batAU~ ki vaha bhUlatI hai| jisako kahAnI-lekhaka usane mAnA hai vaha to kucha bevakUpha-sA AdamI hai| rAma-rAma, kahAnI jaisI manorama cIz2a aura vaisA bholA- sA AdamI usakA svAmI ! chiH chiH, yaha kalpanA bhI viDambanA hai / aura maiM socatA hU~, "maiM kyA kama yogya hU~ ki kahAnI merA varaNa na kara le / zAyada aba taka maiM svayaMvara ke bIca AyA hI nahIM / nahIM to kaise ho sakatA hai ki kahAnI natamastaka hokara apane donoM hAthoM se apanI jayamAla mere gale meM na DAla de ?" aura, maiM svayaMvara ke darzakoM ko sUcanA denA cAhatA hU~ ki maiM vahA~ utarane ko udyata ho gayA hU~ aura kahAnI ko aba cirakumArikA rahane kI AvazyakatA nahIM hai /

Page #90
mitra vidyAdhara jI jaba hAratA-sA hai aura tAkata cAhatA hai, maiM apane mitra vidyAdhara ke pAsa pahu~ca jAtA huuN| vaha nagaNyoM meM nagaNya hai: para apane liye jina thor3oM ko maiM ginatA hU~, unameM unheM avazya ginatA huuN| bI0 esa-sI0 kiyA, ema0 e0, ela-ela0 bI0 kiyA, usake bAda ema0 bI0, bI0 esa0 bhI kiyaa| phira chaka gye| Age aura kucha karane kI bhUkha nahIM rhii| pAsa khAne-pIne ko thA, aura svabhAva mananazIla pAyA thaa| usake bAda barasoM-barasa ghUma kara aura baiTha kara, bahuta kucha dekhA, chAnA, aura pddh'aa| isa saba ke pariNAma meM Aja vaha saiMtIsa varSa se Upara ke haiM, binabyAhe ekAkI haiM, aura eka pracAra-saMsthA ke avaitanika upamantrI haiN| sabhA ke daphtara meM Akara pA~ca-chaH ghaNTe manoyoga-pUrvaka ciTThIpatrI kI likhA-par3hI karate rahate haiN| aura vaha kucha nahIM haiM, aura kucha nahIM krte| ___unheM buddhimAna kahU~, to kaise khuuN| aura mUrkha bhI vaha nahIM haiN| unakI A~kheM bhara-pUra khulI haiN| vaha duniyA meM U~cA-nIcA saba dekhate haiM / phira bhI saba-kucha hokara na-kucha bane rahane meM unheM aprasannatA nahIM haiN| unake mana ke bhItara kI AkA~kSA ko koI 76

Page #91
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] khA gayA hai| mujhe aisA lagatA hai, itane barasa akele rahakara, jaba-taba apane bhItara kI taha phAr3a kara apanA sira uThA uThanevAlI AkA~kSA ko hI yaha cupacApa khAte rahe haiM; yahA~ taka ki ba usakA jar3a mUla hI nizzeSa ho gayA pratIta hotA hai / basa cale, aura avasara Aye, to yaha jIvana bhara cAkarI karate raheM, aura magana bane raheM / bahuta par3hane aura jAnane se yaha zUnya vindu ho rahe haiM, yo zUnya haiM, koI apane dAyeM inheM le le, to usakA dasa gunA mUlya bar3hA deM / mAno inakI sAdhanA hI yaha rahI hai, ki yaha zUnya ho jAe~ / mitra saba kucha jAnakara yaha nahIM jAnate, so nahIM hai| mUrkha jJAna cAhatA hai, mUrkhatA kA unameM itanA abhAva hai ki vaha jJAna taka nahIM cAhate / zaitAna kAma cAhatA hai, zaitAna kA aisA Atyantika abhAva unameM hai ki vaha sarvathA niSkriya raha kara prasanna nahIM haiM / itanI adhika jAnakArI unhoMne pAI hai ki jar3a ho gae haiM, aisA jar3a, jo sacetana hai, aura jisane cetanA kA aisA vikAsa kiyA hai ki vaha, jaise yatna karake jar3atva ko apanA uThA hai| 1 80 bAta kitanI samajha AtI hai, maiM nahIM jAnatA / para, muzkila yaha hai, vahI samajha meM pUrI taraha nahIM aate| para, yahA~ kucha kaha lU~, unake sAmane merI eka nahIM cltii| unake sAmane hokara dekhatA hU~, una se kucha pA hI rahA hU~, unheM de sakane yogya mere pAsa kucha nahIM hai / kintu, itanA sunakara, mere bAre meM bhUla na ho| maiM unakI taraha nahIM hU~ / ghara-kuTumba vAlA hU~, pratiSThA paise vAlA hU~, merA nAma khAsA paricita hai, aura jahA~ pahu~catA hU~, ginA jAtA hU~ / para jaba vidyAdhara ke pAsa pahu~catA hU~, taba mere sAtha inameM se kucha bhI parigraha nahIM raha pAtA / apanI pratiSThA, sambhrama, prasiddhi, rauba aura dambha inameM se kucha bhI apane sAtha baTora kara rakhane kI

Page #92
mitra vidyAdhara 81 AvazyakatA se, mujhe, usakI upasthiti meM, mukti mila jAtI hai| kAraNa yahI, ki ye saba cIjeM usa klarka vidyAdhara kI nigAha se nIce raha jAtI haiM / use dIkhatI nahIM, so nahIM; para apane meM usa nigAha ko ulajhA nahIM sakatIM; usameM kisI taraha kA vikAra nahIM lA sktiiN| ___ jo apane kAraNa, saba kI nigAha meM klarka se bhI gayA-bItA hai, aura apanI DigriyoM ke kAraNa kevala jo sabhA kA upamantrI hai, usI choTe AdamI vidyAdhara ke sAmane maiM pahu~catA hU~, to apane bar3appana ko alaga utAra kara pahu~catA huuN| aura mana meM yaha anubhava kara prasannatA ho pAtA hU~ ki maiM usakI tulanA meM aochA raha jAtA huuN| ___ mujhe kabhI-kabhI kheda hotA hai ki kyoM yaha merA mitra vidyAdhara vahA~ hai, jahA~ hai / kyoM mujhe, use samAja meM usake yogya sthAna para pahu~cAne nahIM detA / para maiM use itanI-sI choTI bAta samajhAne meM asamartha ho jAtA hU~, ki galI kA jhammana bha~gI samrAT jArja se choTA hai / maiM bahuta karatA hU~, to vaha tanika ha~sa par3atA hai| vaha kambakhta kyoM nahIM samajhatA ki duniyA meM choThA-bar3A hai, hai, eka se lAkha bAra hai aura hamezA rahegA, aura use bar3A bananA hI cAhie, choTA nahIM rahanA caahie| aura mujhe khIjha hotI hai ki maiM kyoM nahIM use bar3A banane ko rAjI kara sktaa| aura jaba vaha choTA hai, to maiM hI kyoM duniyA meM bar3A banA khar3A hU~ ? aise samaya vaha kahatA hai, choTA bar3A nahIM hai / para, eka-sA bhI nahIM hai| saba apanI-apanI jagaha haiN| aura unakI jagaha vahI hai, jo hai| saba, kucha aura honA cAhate haiN| jo honA cAhate haiM, use bar3A maanaa| isIliye jo haiM, vaha choTA ho gyaa| mana ke bhItara kA yahI chuTabar3appana jaga kA rAja-roga hai| mana meM se isa kIr3e ko nikAlanA

Page #93
82 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] hogA / taba rUsa samAnatA kI vAstavika cAha meM tumhAre pIche AyagA / maiMne mana meM kahA, "mara kambakhta / rUsa- vUsa karatA hai, yaha nahIM ki klarko chor3a kara kucha bane / " yaha saba-kucha hai| para, jaba jI hAratA hai, maiM usI ke pAsa pahu~catA hU~ / usa miTTI ke mAdho meM pharka nahIM AtA / para mere jI ko tAkata milatI hai / * to rAta ko jaba maiM akele meM phUTakara ro uThA, aura rone ke bAda bhI manasIse kI taraha bhArI hI rahA; aura tanika caina kI kiraNa cAroM ora ke a~dhere meM kahIM se bhI phUTatI mujhe nahIM dIkha sakI; aura mujhe lagA, aise samaya bhaTakatI mauta kahIM jA rahI hotI, to use kasa kara aise cipaTA letA ki phira mujhe sAtha liye binA jAne na pAtI; taba socA, vidyAdhara ke pAsa jAU~gA / isa taraha halke hokara maiMne nIMda lI, aura sabere niTa kara gyAraha baje usakI sabhA ke daphtara meM pahu~cA / usane kahA, "Ao / kyoM kyA hAla hai ?" 1 maiMne kahA, "tuma kaho, tumheM kyA mauta ke dina taka yahIM maranA hai ? merI pUchate ho, yaha nahIM ki kucha apanI phikara karo / " vidyAdhara tanika ha~sA / mujhe yahI asahya hotA hai / saba bAta para, jaisa bheda se, vaha ha~satA kyoM hai ? maiMne kahA, "tumhAre svAmI jI kahA~ hai Ajakala ?" usane sahaja bhAva se kahA, "yahIM haiN| daure se Agaye haiM / isa samaya apane ba~gale para hI hoMge / " maiMne kahA, "vaha ba~gale para koca para hoNge| maiM pUchatA hU~, tuma daphtara meM meja para kyoM ho ?" usane phira ha~sanA cAhA / kahA, "maiM svAmI jI nahIM hU~, vidyA

Page #94
mitra vidyAdhara 83 dhara hU~: isase apanI jagaha huuN| lekina, tuma apanI mana kI bAta kaha ddaalo| mujhe lekara apane ko yoM mata painAzra / " maiM - "svAmI jI kisa nyAya se vahA~ haiM ? aura tuma kisa tarka se vahA~ se vaMcita ho ? aura maiM kahatA hU~, tuma kyoM apane vyavahAra se isa anyAya ko svIkRta aura puSTa karate ho ? bar3I sabhA hai tumhArI / pracAra karatI hai, uddhAra karatI hai, tumheM klarka banAtI hai, aura svAmI jI ko ba~galAdhIza banAtI hai / kyoM ? isIliye ki tuma adhika yogya ho, aura svAmI jI dharma se adhika dUra haiM ? aura, aba tuma kahoge, saba ThIka hai, aura maiM galata hU~ / " vidyAdhara -"hA~, sahaja na raha sakanA, galatI kI pahacAna hai / " maiM- " phira vahI sahaja kI bAta karate ho aMdhera ke sAmane sahaja rahA jAya ? kaise rahA jAya ? vaha dila nahIM kucha aura hai, jo sahaja se kucha aura honA jAnatA nahIM / aura tuma jAnate kyA ho, AdamI para kyA bItatI hai, aura kyA-kyA bIta sakatI hai / akele ho, yahA~ meja para baiThe rahate ho aura sahaja bhAva se kaha dete ho, sahaja raho / ..." vidyAdhara - "ThIka hai, aba tuma zAyada apanI bAta kahane ke nikaTa A rahe ho / kucha lekara Aye ho, use kahakara halke ho jAte ho nahIM, mujhe lekara garma hote ho / " 1 aura vaha usI taraha muskarA kara raha gayA / ha~sanA hai, to ha~sa kyoM nahIM par3atA; muskarA kara kyoM raha jAtA hai ? aura kyoM aise dekhatA hai ? vaha hilatA kyoM nahIM, kyoM acala rahatA hai ? maiM kyA usakA kucha nahIM hU~, aura vaha kyA merI vipata nahIM dekhatA, ki khuda ha~satA hai| maiMne kahA, "vidyAdhara tuma AdamI nahIM ho / pazu hote, to bhI acchA hotA, tuma patthara ho / aura mujhe kucha nahIM kahanA - maiM jAtA hU~ / "

Page #95
84 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] vidyAdhara ne kahA, "nahIM, tuma jAoge nhiiN| kucha bItA hai, tumhAre sAtha / tuma jAnate ho, usameM merA doSa nahIM hai| kintu roSa mujha para hI karate ho, isase prakaTa hai, citta tumhArA svastha nhiiN|" maiM baiTha gyaa| mujhe sukha nahIM thaa| aura vaha belAga svasthacitta baiThA hai, isase mujhe aura dukha thA / rogI ke sAmane DAkTara kursI para avicala bhAva se baiThakara hAla pUchakara aura nabja dekha kara, gambhIra bhAva se nuskhA likhakara, alaga karatA hai, taba kyA rogI ko kucha acchA lagatA hai ? kyA vaisA acchA lagatA hai, jaise jaba mA~ sirahAne zrA pUchatI hai, "beTA, kaisA jI hai ?" aura uttara meM do bU~da A~sU girAne ko taiyAra ho jAtI hai| jaba sAmane vaha milatI hai, mA~ patnI yA koI, jisakA jI apanI hAlata se chUkara ro uThe, taba apane jI ko ThaMDaka milatI hai| para roga kA nidAna to DAkTara ke pAsa hI hai, mA~ ke pAsa nahIM / rogI DAkTara se ThaMDaka na pAye, Arogya vahIM se paaygaa| maiMne pUchA, "vidyAdhara, tuma jAnate ho, prema kambakhta kyA cIz2a hai ?" vidyAdhara gambhIra ho gayA, jaisA ki vaha kama hotA hai| "prema cIz2a nahIM hai, prema vibhUti hai / hama kambakhta haiM, jo use apanA mAnate haiN| vaha Izvara kA aizvarya hai| avyAbAdha vyApaka hai| apane-apane bUte mutAbika sabako milatA hai|" ___maiMne kahA, "vidyAdhara, tuma nahIM jAnate prema kyA hai| jise prema para Izvara yAda Aye, vaha vAstava prema, mAnava-prema kyA jAnatA hai ? vidyAdhara, mujhe batAo, kyA tumane kabhI prema kiyA hai ? taba mujhe tasallI hogii|" vidyAdhara ne kahA, "hama mAnava jar3a haiM ! caitanya prema hai / usI ke prakAza meM hama caitanya haiN| usakI USmA hamArA jIvana hai| usase rikta hue ki jIvanAnta huaa| kauna prema se vaJcita hai ?

Page #96
mitra vidyAdhara vaha abhAgA hai| vaha abhAgya pUrNa huA ki mauta AI / para, apane-apane bUte kI bAta hai| merA bUtA vinoda, zAyada thor3A hai|" maiMne kahA, "to tumane prema kiyA hai ?" vidyAdhara, "tuma pUchate hI ho, to maiM kahU~gA, hA~ kiyA hai| para, usakA dade chUTa gayA hai| aba usakA Ananda hI mere sAtha zeSa hai| smRti-rUpa meM mere sAtha vaha nahIM hai| smRti meM kasaka hai, parAyApana hai, antara hai| mere sAtha vaha pratyakSa hai, ekAkAra hai| bIca meM sa~yojaka banakara smRti ko Tikane kA avakAza nahIM hai / ''tabhI dekhate ho, maiM rotA nahIM huuN| bAteM saba mere sAtha rone kI haiN| dekho na, tuma vidyAdhara na hokara bhI mere pAsa Akara vidyAdhara kI paristhiti para royA karate ho| merA prema vilaga ho, to roU~ / viyukta, dUra ho, to tdd'puuN| isIlie maiM akelA hU~, isIlie sadA tuSTa huuN|" maiMne kahA, "vidyAdhara !" vidyAdhara, jo kabhI nahIM huA, aba huaa| vaha vicalita huaa| ___ maiM avaza ho utthaa| "merI bAta pIche hogI vidyAdhara ! aura tumheM apanI bAta mujhe sunAnI hogii|" usakI AvAja hila AI / kahA, "vinoda, nahIM, yaha nahIM..." ___ maiMne kahA, "tuma jAnate ho, maiM kauna hU~ / vidyAdhara, maiM tumhArA vidyAdhara sAmane ko dekha utthaa| mere bahAne mere pIche kI dIvAra meM vaha kyA dekha rahA thA, jaise usI ko lakSya kara usane kahA, "apane jI se cIrakara alaga kareM, taba sunAyeM |-nhiiN, yaha sukhada nahIM hai|"

Page #97
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [ chaThA bhAga ] maiMne apanA hAtha bar3hAkara meja para par3e usake hAtha ko pakar3a "vidyAdhara !" liyA / kahA, aura himAcala se U~cA yaha mahAzubhra - patthara vidyAdhara, mAno mantrabala se ekAeka galakara baha par3ane ko ho uThA / maiM sahasA hI ghabar3A gayA / maiMne dekhA, vaha cupa, nispanda baiThA hai / vaha jAne kahA~ dekha rahA hai| mere cehare ko Ara-pAra karake kahA~ dRSTi gar3I hai ki nirnimeSa ho par3I hai / ki,-- una phailI, Ta~kI, A~khoM meM eka khArI bU~da AI aura Tapa mez2a para Tapaka par3I ! usa Tap kI AvAja se vaha eka sAtha cauMkA / mAno kahIM se TUTA, TUTakara girA / saba stabdha thA / usane jhapaTakara A~kheM poMcha lIM / taba mAno usane mujhe dekhA / eka kSINa muskAna kI chAyA usake oThoM ke kinAre A rahI / ve oTha kizcit khule usI samaya dvAra para sAphebanda eka grAmINa puruSa dIrghAkAra nakAra kI bhA~ti upasthita ho gyaa| bolA, "syAmIjI, ihA~ hI raite haiM ?" 86 * vaha muskAna sphuTa hokara oThoM para phaila gii| kyA vaha ha~sA ? usa nIrava hAsya para mere jI meM se hAya uThI, aura maiMne use masosa lI / usane a~grez2I meM kahA, "samaya gayA, vaha zrA gayA thAcalA gayA, isameM merA doSa kahA~ hai ? dekho, kyA aba vaha phira AtA hai ? vinoda, tuma jAo, khuza raho / saba bhagavAn karatA hai / " maiMne kahA, "vidyAdhara !" vaha grAmINa kI ora mur3a gayA, kahA, "svAmIjI yahA~ nahIM rahate haiM | para Azro bhAI, tuma kahA~ se Ate ho ?" 1

Page #98
mitra vidyAdhara "maiM jI, syAmIjI ke dirazanoM ko AyA thA / rottaka ke pAsa raitA hU~, jI / syAmIjI mhAre gAma Ae the - " "acchA, kauna gA~va ?" aura, maiMne dekhA, vaha haThAt 87 ga~vAra se chuTTI pA lenA nahIM cAhatA / vaha bAtoM meM ulajha gayA, maiM cupacApa uThakara calA AyA /

Page #99
priyavata jI, kavi priyavrata kI hI bAta kahatA huuN| vahI jo javAnI meM bicArA mara gyaa| anta kI ora kI bAta hai| hama sahapAThI the aura priyavrata muddata bAda mujhe milA thaa| itanI muhata ki akasmAt use sAmane dekhakara maiM kaha baiThA, "are, priyavrata ! tuma, to abhI bAkI ho duniyA meM ?" priyavrata ne manda bhAva se kahA, "hA~, abhI to huuN|" vaha dubalA dIkhatA thaa| ceharA kucha pIlA thA, lekina A~kheM camakadAra aura bdd'ii| use pAkara maiMne ekadama bahuta-kucha pUchA"kahA~ rahe ? kyA karate rahe ? koI naI pustaka ? kahIM nAma-dhAma bhI sunane meM nahIM aayaa| kucha likhA-par3hA ? nahIM ? to kyA bhAr3a jhoMkA ? byAha huA ? bacce haiM ?" ityaadi| ____ usane saMkSepa meM javAba die / mAnoM aisI bAteM saba nissAra ho / patA milA ki vivAha ko kaI barasa ho ge| patnI maike haiN| bacce do hue / aba koI nahIM hai / aura zeSa caina hai| "kucha likhA nahIM ?" usane kahA ki likhane se nivRtti pAlI hai / aba chuTTI hai| maiMne kahA ki likhanA tuma nahIM chor3a sakate / sunate ho ? 88

Page #100
priyavrata usane kahA ki kyA sunUM ? likhane kI bAta na karo / kucha aura bAta karo / vaha bacapana thaa| __ lekina maiM yaha kaise sahatA? priyavrata kI sAhityika pratibhA se maiM paricita thA / likhane se usakA vimukha honA durghaTanA hI thii| yahI bAta maiMne khii| kahA ki abhivyakti Avazyaka hai, aura nahIM to usase citta ThIka rahatA hai| mana kA rukanA trAsa hai / likhane se pravAha pravAhita rahatA hai| para isa para to priyavrata bahasa para utArU ho aayaa| A~khoM meM camaka A gaI aura cehare para kI mandatA eka dama jAtI rahI / kahane lagA ki sunA thA ki tuma dArzanika ho gae ho / yahI tumhArA darzana hai ? abhivyakti ko jarUrata ho kyoM ? usa jarUrata kA matalaba hai ki zrAdamI AtmatuSTa nahIM hai| asala meM svataH meM magna rahanA caahie| magnatA meM phira kyA abhivyakti, aura kisa ke prati ? mujhe magnatA aura abhivyakti ke rizte se kucha lenA nahIM thaa| para priyavrata ko maiM chor3a nahIM sakatA thaa| maiMne kahA ki apane meM to pUrA koI nahIM hai| basa yaha bhUla rahane se to koI adhUrA hone se nahIM baca sakatA / adhUrA hai isIse abhivyakti hai / vahI phira vyakti kI nimagnatA kI kSamatA bar3hA degii| priyavrata ne jora se kahA ki nahIM, nahIM. nahIM / jarUrata hI kyA ki maiM apane bhItara ko bAhara karU~ ? bhItara ko bhItara maiM kyoM nahIM rakha sakatA ? vyakta karatA hU~ to matalaba hai mujhase sahA nahIM jAtA / lekina maiM dukhI hU~ to, sukhI hU~ to, kisI ko kyA par3I hai ki maiM apanA suHkha-dukha dUsare ko patA lagane dUM? asaMyama aura kisakA nAma hai ? mujhe usake zabdoM kI dhvani para nizcintatA nahIM prApta huii| maiMne kahA ki mana kA sukha-dukha aura nahIM to zarIra ke svAsthya

Page #101
janendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] asvAsthya ke rUpa meM prakaTa hogaa| bhItara aura bAhara do to ekadama nahIM ho sakate na ? maiMne dekhA ki priyavrata kucha tez2a ho AyA / usane kahA ki jo ho, abhivyakti tuma kahate ho hogI hI, to vaha hokara rhegii| mujhe usake bAre meM kyA socanA-vicAranA hai ? maiM taGga honA nahIM caahtaa| ___ spaSTa thA ki isa carcA meM use rasa thaa| kucha aura bAta use nahIM suhAI / Asa-pAsa se use nAtA nahIM mAlUma hotA thA aura sUkSma meM usakA mana thaa| maiMne kahA ki agara hamArI bhAvanA vyakta hogI, to hamAre bAvajUda usakA vyakta ho jAnA iSTa nahIM hai| isalie kahanA hogA ki abhivyakti hotI hI nahIM hai, use hama karate bhI haiN| usameM hamArA sahayoga nahIM ho sakatA, balki katRtva honA caahie| usane kahA ki kyA matalaba ? maiM uSA kA citrapaTa AkAza para dekhakara prasanna ho jAtA hU~ to maiM kahatA hU~ ki usa prasannatA meM hI mujhe saba-kucha prApta hai / yaha kyoM Avazyaka hai ki maiM usa saundarya para kavitA racU~ ? nahIM, mere svayaM prasanna hone ke Age aura saba anAvazyaka hai / jo abhivyakti sAmAjika hone kI ora calatI hai, maiM usameM vizvAsa nahIM krtaa| vaha cIz2a mujhe galata mAlUma hotI hai| maiM kucha samajha nahIM sakA ki ina tAttvika bAtoM meM priyavrata kA Agraha kyoM hai| tattva ko to jaise rakho, vaise rakha jAtA hai| lekina mAlUma hotA thA ki priyavrata nahIM cAhatA ki maiM carcA rokU~ / maiMne kahA ki 'sozala' zabda kA mAna ba~dhA nahIM hai| maiM akelA nahIM huuN| koI akelA nahIM hai| hara-eka anekoM ke bIca aura sAtha hai / vaha hai to samAja kA hokara hai| manuSya lAz2amI taura para sAmAjika hai| samAja se kaTakara maiM nahIM ho sakatA / usase

Page #102
priyavrata achUtA maiM hU~ kahA~ ? aura agara samAja se abhinna hU~ to koI merI abhivyakti ho nahIM sakatI jo samAja ko na chUe, nirA apanA alagAva rakhe / uSA-darzana ke samaya maiM akelA hU~, dUsarA koI pAsa nahIM hai, to kyA itane para maiM kaha dUM ki usa samaya kI merI prasannatA samAja se koI sambandha nahIM rakhatI? vaha kahanA ThIka nahIM hogaa| merA svAsthya samAja ko cAhie / isase merI prasannatA meM samAja kA hita hai / ataH yadi maiM sAmAjika hU~ to merI abhivyakti .nirI vaiyaktika ho nahIM sktii| isalie 'sozala' zabda ko aprayukta rakha kara bhI hama use sadA sAtha samajha sakate haiN| savAla yaha hai ki abhivyakta cAhie yA nahIM ? maiM samajhatA hU~ ki antarbhAvanAoM ko abhivyakti nahIM milegI, yAnI hama unheM abhivyakti nahIM deMge, to ve bhAvanAe~ hamArA bala nahIM bar3hAveMgI, ulTe hameM hI khAne laga jAya~gI / yA to jiyo, nahIM to mro| AdamI thira hokara nahIM raha sakatA / gati zarta hai / car3hatA nahIM, to use giranA hogaa| jagat gatizIla hai / caitanya pravAhamAna hai / hamArI antarAnubhUti yA to hamAre mUla vyaktitva meM aMgIkRta hokara Atmagata hogI aura hamAre parivarddhana meM sahAyaka hogI, nahIM to bhItara vaha eka zava kI bhA~ti baiTha jAyagI aura pravAha meM bAdhA hogii| vaha taba hameM bhItara se kutaratI rhegii| abhivyakti kA yahI matalaba hai| hama aise apanI hI anubhUti ko AtmasAt karate haiM / use kalpanA meM lAte haiM, vivekamaya banAte haiM, vyavahAra meM lAte haiN| aisA nahIM karate to Aja mana meM uThA huA eka bhAva hamAre bhItara hI vyartha rUpa se cakkara lagAtA aura TakarAtA hai| vaha phira hamArI rAha meM avarodha banatA hai / vANI yA kRtya meM vaha bhAva abhivyakti pAkara mAno mukti bhI pA letA hai| priyavrata dhyAna se saba sunatA rhaa| mujhe usakA vaha tallIna ceharA dekhakara kabhI-kabhI mAlUma hotA thA ki puruSa-saundarya kA

Page #103
62 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] kyA artha hotA hogaa| mere cupa hone para usane kahA, "maiMne kavitA likhanA banda kara dI hai, to kyA tuma yaha kahanA cAhate ho ki merI kavitA bAhara na Ane ke kAraNa mujhe bhItara se khA rahI hogI ? lekina maiM jAnatA hU~ ki maiM apane se isa bAta para bilkula nArAja nahIM huuN| kavitA bacapana hai| usameM sAra nahIM mAlUma hotaa|" ___ "lekina jisameM sAra mAlUma hotA hai, aisA kyA hai jo tumane isa bIca kiyA hai, vaha to mAlUma ho ? kauna kahatA hai ki kavitA hI abhivyakti hai| balki vaha pUrI aura saccI abhivyakti hai bhI nahIM / kyoMki kAvatA akarmaka hotI hai| kArmika abhivyakti bhI sAtha ho, taba cakkara pUrA hotA hai / to kyA isa bIca karma dvArA apanI AkAMkSAoM ko tumane mUrta rUpa diyA hai ? vANI se sthUla karma hai / aura jo karma meM svapna ko utAratA hai, vaha kavi se bar3A kavi hai / maiM sunanA cAhatA hU~ ki yaha tumane kiyA hai|" priyavrata kucha dera mAno socatA raha gyaa| phira bolA ki nahIM maiM tumhArI nahIM sunanA caahtaa| abhivyakti jo vyakti ko samAja se jor3atI hai, vyakti ke lie bandhana bhI hai / samAja se apane ko aTakA kara vyakti pUrNa nahIM ho sakatA / vaha pUrNa hai to apane hI meM hai, aura jo pUrNa hai vaha kRtakAma hai| use kucha vyakta karanA nahIM hai; kyoMki kucha pAnA nahIM hai| abhivyakti ke bhItara hai cAha / cAha yAnI garaja / vaha hai bandhana / bandhanahIna abhivyaktihIna hogaa| na maiM kucha kahanA cAhatA hU~, na kucha karanA cAhatA huuN| ___ maiMne kahanA cAhA ki 'priyavrata !' lekina Age maiM kucha na kaha sakA / use dekhatA-bhara raha gayA / yuvAkAla ke prArambha meM priyavrata ko pratibhA se sAhitya-jagat camatkRta ho par3A thaa| abhI to usa yauvana kA madhyAhna bhI nahIM hai, phira abhI se priyavrata kA yaha kyA hAla hai!

Page #104
priyavrata usane kahA, "nahIM, vidyAdhara, merA jI kisI kAma ko nahIM karatA / jaga se virakti mAlUma hotI hai|" maiMne kahA, 'priyavrata, tuma usa kampanI meM the na ? kyA usase aba sambandha nahIM hai ?" priyavrata ne pUchA ki kampanI kyA ? maiMne sujhAyA ki usa philma kampanI meM the na ! priyavrata kI bhauMha sikur3a aaii| usane kahA ki hA~......zrA, para vaha bAta pahale janma kI hai aura aba do varSa se vaha khAlI hai| aisA khAlI ki.....| aura pichale cAra mahInoM se usakI patnI apane pitA ke ghara hai jahA~ ki usakI vimAtA nahIM cAhatI ki vaha rhe| ____ maiMne kahA ki priyavrata, aisI hAlata meM to tumheM aura manoyoga se likhanA zurU kara denA caahie| priyavrata ne mAthe meM bala lAkara kahA ki aisI hAlata meM ? kyA tumhArA matalaba hai ki paise ke lie mujhe likhanA cAhie ? paise ke lie maiM jUtA taka sApha nahIM kara sktaa| likha to sakatA hI kaise huuN| nIca-se-nIca kAma paise ke lie mujha se na hogA / usa paise ke nimitta likhane jaisA kAma karane ko mujhase kahate ho ? sunakara merA jI jala uThatA hai| maiMne pUchA ki phira kyA karoge? priyavrata kI A~khoM meM kucha nizcita nahIM mAlUma hotA thaa| lekina vANI paryApta se adhika kaTibaddha pratIta huii| usane kahA ki karanA mujhe kyA hai| jo karate haiM ve khAka karate haiN| maiM apane meM magna rahane ke lie huuN| apane se bAhara kA mujhe kucha nahIM cAhie / bhItara kyA nahIM hai ? bAhara kI bar3I-se-bar3I cIja ke pAsa tAkata nahIM hai ki merA choTe-se-choTA duHkha apane pAsa roka ske| duHkha hai to mujha meM hai| sukha hai to mujha meM hai| maiM nahIM

Page #105
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [ chaThA bhAga ] paravA karatA duniyA kI / tuma jAnate ho ? --tuma nahIM jAnate / do barasa maiM vaha tumhArI kavitA lie lie ghUmatA rahA / kisase nahIM milA ? lekina koI prakAzaka unheM nahIM chApa skaa| maiMne taba socA ki prakAzaka ko takalIfa maiM kyoM detA huuN| calo, prakAzakoM ko sadA ke lie chuTTI de dU~ / socakara kavitA ke pulinde ko maiMne jalA diyA / yahA~ usane eka sA~sa chor3I aura vilakSaNa bhAva se muskraayaa| phira kahA, "kavitA nahIM hai to maiM bhI mukta hU~ / aura aba mujhe kisI prakAzaka ke pAsa jAne kI g2araja nahIM raha gaI hai / " 333 sunakara maiM stabdha raha gayA / zAyada maiMne prativAda meM kucha kahA / priyavrata ne kahA ki unakA jalAnA g2alatI to taba ho jaba maiM Age bhI kucha likhU~ / lekina usake bAda epha akSara bhI maiMne nahIM likhA, na likhuuNgaa| phira tuma isako g2alatI kaise kaha sakate ho ? aura tuma kahate ho abhivyakti ! maiMne itane dinoM se jo kucha bhI nahIM likhA hai, isase batAo merA kyA kama ho gayA hai ? taba jindA thA, so aba bhI jindA hU~ / binA likhe marane kI koI z2arUrata mujhe nahIM mAlUma huI / priyavrata kI sthiti para mere mana ko pIr3A huI / maiMne kahA ki priyavrata zAyada mizrajI ko tuma jAnate hoge| hA~, jo AlocanA Adi likhate haiN| vaha aba vizrAma cAhate haiN| unake sahAyaka unakI jagaha ho jAyeMge aura sahAyaka kI jagaha usa patrikA meM khAlI hogI / usa para jA sakoge ? " sahAyaka saMpAdaka kI !" itanA kahakara priyavrata ne Age kucha nahIM kahA aura kaThina vyaMga se thor3A ha~sa diyaa| kucha dera bAda bolA, 'vetana hogA vahI sATha-sattara ?"

Page #106
priyavrata 65 - maiMne kahA, "sahAyaka zurU meM pacAsa pAte the / lekina vetana " - priyavrata kaha uThA, "pacAsa !" maiMne kahA, "dina eka se nahIM rahate, priyavrata / pacAsa kA mu~ha mata dekho| tumhArI yogyatA chipa nahIM sktii| basa eka bera citta thira kara lo| bAkI bhAgya dekha legA / " priyavrata ne vyaMga se kahA, "maiM tumheM dhanyavAda detA hU~, vidyAdhara !" mujhe sunakara pIr3A huii| phira bhI maiMne anurodha pUrvaka kahA ki bhaviSya ko koI nahIM jaantaa| isase vartamAna kI maryAdA para lajjita hone kI koI bAta nahIM hai, priyavrata ! lekina priyavrata ne kahA, "maiM pacAsa kI naukarI nahIM kara sktaa| aura na kisI kA sahAyaka ho sakatA huuN| bhUkhoM maranA par3e to itihAsa likhegA to ki priyavrata jaise kavi ko duniyA ne bhUkhA rakkhA aura usI meM jAna le lI ! g2arIbI isa taraha mujhe abhAgya nahIM mAlUma hotI / lekina pacAsa meM sahAyaka - saMpAdakI mujhase na hogI / " maiMne kahA ki pacAsa rupae thor3e haiM, yahI bAta hai na ? lekina na kucha se to kucha bhalA hai| ise svIkAra kara lo, priyavrata ! Age, vizvAsa mAno, saba ThIka ho jAyagA / lekina priyavrata ko vaha bAta nahIM bhAI / use vaha apamAnajanaka mAlUma huA / thor3I dera bAda kiMcit ruSTabhAva se priyatrata mujhase vidA le calA gayA / : 2 : mujhe nahIM mAlUma thA ki isa dillI zahara meM vaha kahA~ TikA hai / maiMne usakA sthAna pUchA thA / usane kahA thA ki abhI sthAna aura sthiti jaisI koI cIja usake pAsa nahIM hai / jahA~-tahA~ Thahara

Page #107
16 janendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] gayA hai aura jaise-taise raha letA hai| milatA to rhegaa| isalie jo hogA, mujhe patA laga jaaygaa| lekina mujhe kucha patA nahIM lgaa| dasa dina, pandraha dina ho gae / priyavrata gayA to phira khabara taka nahIM lauttii| usake lie mere mana meM ciMtA thii| kAlija meM hama donoM do varSa sAtha rahe the| maiM vahA~ usakI pratibhA para mugdha thA aura usakA anugata thaa| kalija ke sabhI lar3akoM meM usakI dhAka thii| bhaviSya usakA ujjvala samajhA jAtA thaa| lekina usa bhaviSya meM yaha kAlA durbhAgya kahA~ se nikala AyA ? Aja kI usa kI hAlata para mana kisI taraha garva nahIM mAnatA / apanI aura usakI taba kI aura aba kI tulanA para mujhe jagat betukA mAlUma hotA thaa| jisameM koI vilakSaNatA na thI, koI yogyatA na thI, aisA maiM to khuzahAla thA / aura priyavrata kA hAla behAla thaa| merA mana priyavrata ke soca se chUTa nahIM pAtA thaa| maiM socatA thA ki priyavrata kyoM nahIM AyA ? vaha kahA~ hai ? zAyada mahIne se kucha Upara ho gayA hogA ki eka dina priyavrata kI patnI mere ghara AI / unhoMne Akara svayaM apanA paricaya diyA, aura kahA ki vaha aba usa patrikA meM jAne ko taiyyAra haiN| maiM prabandha kara duuN| maiMne kahA ki priyavrata yahIM haiM ? kuzala se to haiM na ? unhoMne kahA ki hA~, kuzala hI khie| Apa unake lie usa jagaha kA bandobasta kara deN| maine kahA ki aba to zAyada hai ki kisI ko usa jagaha rakha liyA gayA ho| phira bhI maiM dekhuugaa| kala mAlUma karake nizcita batA skuuNgaa| vaha calI gaI, aura unake cale jAne para maiM socane lagA ki vaha merI paricita nahIM thIM to kyA huA, maiMne usake sAtha jAkara

Page #108
89 priyavrata priyavrata ko dekha hI kyoM na liyA ? mere mana meM priyavrata ke bAre meM zaGkA thii| agale dina vaha phira AI / mujhe taba unase kahanA huA ki vaha jagaha to aba khAlI nahIM raha gaI hai| mahilA ne kahA, "to ?" isa saMkSipta "to ?' ko sunakara aura unakI nigAha ko dekhakara meM apane ko aparAdhI-sA lagane lgaa| maiMne kahA, "jo kahie kruuN|" mahilA ne kahA, "to Apa kucha nahIM kara sakate ?" maiMne kahA, "batAie kyA kara sakatA hU~ ?" bolI, "kucha jarUra kIjie / unakI hAlata acchI nahIM hai|" maiM AgrahapUrvaka unake sAtha priyavrata ko dekhane gayA / unako khA~sI thI aura hara roja Temparecara bhI ho AtA thaa| vaha pIlA thA aura dRSTi usakI bhaTakatI mAlUma hotI thii| ilAja kI kucha ThIka vyavasthA nahIM thii| paristhiti meM cAroM ora abhAva-hIabhAva dIkhatA thaa| patnI apanA saba-kucha ga~vA cukI thIM aura unheM aba apane pitA ke pAsa se bhI sahAyatA kA ThikAnA nahIM raha gayA thaa| to bhI dhIraja bA~dhakara vaha cale hI jAtI thiiN| khaira, maiMne DAkTara kI vyavasthA kara dii| priyavrata ko tAkIda kI ki vaha mujhe parAyA na gine| aura usakI patnI ko kahA ki cintA kI koI bAta nahIM hai| priyavrata bahuta saMkucita mAlUma hotA thA aura khulakara bAta nahIM kara pAtA thaa| usakI A~khoM meM eka kRtajJatA bharI rahatI thI jisakA sAmanA karanA mujhe kaThina hotA thA isalie jaba taka vaza calatA, maiM usake pAsa nahI jAtA thaa| dayA (usakI patnI) Akara mujhe hAla-cAla de jAyA karatI thiiN| eka dina unhoMne mujhe acambhe meM DAla diyA / Akara kahA ki

Page #109
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaTA bhAga] Apa kyoM phijUla DAkTara para paise barabAda kara rahe haiM ? saba banda kara dIjie / unheM jInA ho taba na ? maiMne kahA ki yaha kyA kahatI ho ? DAkTara to pArAma batalAtA hai| kahatA hai, hAlata sudhara rahI hai aura kucha dina meM svAsthya lauTa aaygaa| unhoMne vyaGga se kahA ki hA~, lauTa AyA svAsthya ! DAkTara kucha jAnatA bhI hai ? hama Apa se eka paisA nahIM le sakate / maiM sunakara 'ghabarA-sA gyaa| maine kahA, "kyoM, kyoM kyA bAta hai ?" dayA ne vicitra svara meM kahA ki Apa eka kAma kara sakeM to kara dIjie / bacanI huI to utane se hI unakI jAna baca jaaygii| nahIM to koI DAkTara kucha nahIM kara sktaa| maiM dayA kA zrAzaya kucha bhI nahIM samajha sakA thaa| usane kahA ki Apa ko mAlUma bhI hai ki ApakA diyA paisA kisa kAma AtA hai ? maiM pahale to cupa rahA / phira mAno anunaya ke svara meM maiMne kahA ki una saba kI cintA karake mujhe Apa kaSTa kyoM detI haiN| vaha bolI, "zarAba kharIdI jAtI hai|" anAyAsa mere muMha se nikalA, "zarAba !" dayA ne jAne kaise mujhe dekhakara kahA, "hA~, maiM hI kharIda kara lAtI huuN| vaha kahate haiM ki zarAva se ve jI bhI rahe haiN| nahIM to kabhI ke mara jaate| maiM jAnatI hU~, yaha jhUTha hai / jAnatI hU~, zarAba unheM khA rahI hai, para mujhase yaha bhI to nahIM banatA ki unakI hAlata dekhatI rahU~ aura zarAba se jo jarA caina unheM milatA hai, use bhI chIna lU~ / maiM Apake hAtha jor3atI hU~, unakI zarAba chur3avA diijie| nahIM to DAkTarI birathA hai| aura maiM Apa se mAphI

Page #110
priyavrata mA~gatI huuN| ilAja ke lie Apa se paise lekara maiM unheM zarAba detI rahI ! zarAba unakI mauta hai / lekina maiM kyA karU~ ?" maiMne jAkara priyavrata ko sakhtI se ddpttaa| vaha mujhe dekhatA rhaa| kucha dera sadhe memane kI taraha cupa-cupa sunatA rhaa| sunatesunate ekAeka usane jora se dhamakI ke svara meM kahA ki maiM usake sAmane se dUra ho jAU~ / jAU~, abhI calA jaauuN| eka miniTa usa ghara meM na ThaharU / zrAyA hU~ upadeza dene ! sArA upadeza apane pAsa rakhU aura marane vAle ko marane duuN| kahA gayA ki mujha se jaise loga marate-marate bhI AdamI ko jarA caina na lene deNge| Ae haiM kahane ki zarAba mata piyo ! are, kisI kA kalejA dekhA hai ? zarAba se usakA ghAva dhulatA hai / mujha se banane calate haiM upakArI, jaise lATa sAhaba hoN| ve kyA jAneM zarAba kI khUbI ! paisA ho gayA, to bhalemAnasa ho gae ! maiM rakhU apanA paisA apane pAsa aura jAU~, lAkhoM ke sAmane se isI miniTa meM dUra ho jaauuN| nahIM to isa taraha priyavrata kucha-kucha kahane lgaa| dayA ne aise samaya hAtha khIMca kara, kandhA hilAkara, jhir3akI dekara bahuta kucha use varjana kiyaa| lekina pratirodha para priyavrata kI avazatA aura bar3ha pAtI thii| aise samaya vaha apanI patnI ko hI kahane lagatA ki tU lampaTa hai, durAcAriNI hai aura maiM saba jAnatA huuN| koI andhA nahIM hU~ / tU ise ( mujhe) cAhatI hai, haTa, dUra ho, nikala behyaa| aise samaya kahanI-anakahanI kA priyavrata ko dhyAna nahIM rahatA thaa| aura mujhe bahuta duHkha thaa| khaira, bahuta kucha sunate raha kara maine dayA se kahA ki maiM aba jAtA huuN| tuma ghabarAnA nhiiN| priyavrata ne cIkha kara kahA, "hA~, jAo, jAo, ttlo| maiM kisI kA muhatAja nahIM huuN|"

Page #111
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [ chaThA bhAga ] sunakara maiM cupacApa lauTakara cala diyaa| lekina ghara se bAhara nahIM huA hU~gA ki eka cIkha mujha ko sunAI dii| lauTakara Akara dekhatA hU~ ki priyavrata cAdara-vAdara pheMkakara, palaMga para ughAr3A baiThA hai| usake mAthe para coTa kA bar3A-sA nIlA dAg2a hai, jisameM se thor3A-thor3A lahU nikala rahA hai| priyavrata hA~pha rahA hai aura jorajora se hAtha pheMka kara kaha rahA hai ki saba dUra rho| koI pAsa na Ao / merI yahI saz2A hai, yahI sajA hai / mAlUma huA ki kamare se mere ojhala hone para eka sAtha cAdara Upara pheMka kara uTha kara priyavrata ne z2ora se apanA sira palaMga ke pAe para de mArA thaa| dekhakara dayA cIkha par3I thI / vahI cIkha maiMne sunI hogii| 100 khaira, maiMne priyavrata ko ArAma se liTAnA cAhA / vaha isameM merA pratikAra karatA rhaa| aura basa na calA to vaha mujhe nocanekhasoTane lagA / maiMne usake pratirodha ko bekAra kara z2ora se pakar3a kara use palaMga para liTA diyA / dayA ko kahA ki paTTI-baTTI lAve | ghabarAye nahIM / priyavrata bekAbU hokara bAlaka kI bhA~ti se AyA / vaha bArabAra merA hAtha pakar3a kara cUmane lgaa| rote-rote usakI hicakI ba~dha gii| usane kahA ki vaha mujhe pahacAnatA hai / aura ki vaha maranA nahIM cAhatA, bilkula nahIM cAhatA / usane mujhase pUchA ki maiM use bacA lU~gA na ? maiMne use DhADhasa ba~dhAyA / aura vaha bAra-bAra yahI pUchane lagA ki vaha maregA to nahIM ? dayA, zrI dayA, maiM maranA nahIM cAhatA / maiMne tumheM hamezA takalIpha dii| maiM nikammA hU~, lekina maiM maranA nahIM cAhatA / dayA tere upakAra kA badalA dene ke lie jInA cAhatA hU~ / vidyAdhara, maiM maranA nahIM caahtaa| maiM nae sire se

Page #112
101 priyavrata jInA cAhatA hU~, para-aiM-nahIM mujhe maranA cAhie / maiM pApI huuN| vidyAdhara, mujhe chodd'o| maiM pApI huuN| ___ paTTI ThIka-ThAka kara, aura use DAkTara ke supurda kara maiM calA AyA / dayA ko kahatA AyA ki sevA ke atirikta kucha bhI cintA na rakhe / Izvara bAqI dekha legaa| Izvara bAkI avazya dekha legA, isameM to sandeha nahIM hai| lekina phira bhI to sandeha hotA hI hai| para aise samaya Izvara se isa ora kA koI bhI to aura zabda dhIraja ba~dhAne ke kAma meM nahIM pAtA! yaha kahane kI AvazyakatA nahIM ki Age dinoM kI hI bAta thI aura priyavrata mara gyaa| vaha yaha kahate-kahate marA ki maiM maranA nahIM cAhatA, dayA ! maiM maranA nahIM cAhatA / vidyAdhara, dekho majhe bacA lo!

Page #113
Atithya unakA ghara bhI dillI meM hai, para jAna-pahacAna huI yahA~ itanI dUra Akara / ve bhI pharsTa Iyara meM dAkhila hue haiM; maiM bhI / viSaya bhI eka hI hai- donoM ke pAsa sAinsa / hosTala meM kamare bhI pAsa-pAsa haiM / hamArI jAna-pahacAna khUba gaharI hone lgii| dhIre-dhIre sthAna kA nayApana bhI dUra ho gayA aura hama hosTala kI z2indagI meM mila gaye / abhI taka the to hosTala meM hI, para kucha besure - se lagate the / mere mitra paise aura dila se acche haiN| khule hAtha kharca karate haiN| hA~, jarA par3hane meM thor3A kuch...| bar3e kamare meM rahate haiM, zrI-sITeDa hai vaha, aura isalie tigunA kirAyA bhugatAte haiM / unake sAtha usa kamare meM hI unakA eka naukara aura eka rasoiyA rahatA hai| thor3e dina bIte ki unake cAroM ora eka maNDalI juTa gaI / yA yaha kaheM ki unake rasoiye ke cAroM ora eka maNDalI juTa gaI / kucha mitroM ne muphta ke naukara aura muphta ke zrImAn ko pAkara eka nayA me khar3A kara liyA hai| maiM bhI usa mesa hI meM bhojana pAtA hU~ / 102

Page #114
prAtithya 103 mitra kA naukara saba kA naukara hai, aura mahArAja para bhI sabhI hukma car3hA dete haiM-mitra isase bar3e prasanna haiN| vAstava meM ve bahuta hI bhale AdamI haiN| pandrahaveM roja pika-nika pArTI kI jAtI hai, aura usakA bhAra bhI binA kahe-sune vahI uThAte haiM, mAno unheM mAlUma bhI nahIM hotaa| yaha pika-nika kI sUjha bhI unhoMne hI subhAI hai, nahIM to yahA~ kisako par3I hai aura kisake pAsa paisA hai| mitra isa taraha khUba priya aura khUba paricita ho gaye haiN| merI unakI to bAta hI kyA, sabhI mAno unase ghaniSTha ho gaye haiM aura thor3A unakA bhAra aura AbhAra uThAne ko taiyAra rahate haiN| isI taraha sAla bItate rahe / chuTTI meM dillI Ate to vahA~ bhI sAtha rahate, kAleja meM to rahate hii| mujhe unase aura taraha kI vina-mA~gI kRpA milatI hI thI, unako bhI mujha se mA~gI huI par3hAI kI madada mila jAtI thii| sArAMza, hama bahuta abhinna ho gye| :2: Akhira A~dhI bhA gii| kAleja TUTa-TUTakara girane lage aura lar3ake bhAgane lge| taba mAno yaha bar3A-sA hindustAna karavaTa le rahA thA, karavaTa ke sAtha karavaTa nahIM loge, to mAno kahIM ke na rhoge| gA~dhI ko usa A~dhI kI capeTa meM maiM bhI AyA, merA dimArA mAno ur3ane lgaa| mAno abhI AsamAna-dharatI eka kara dUMgA aura bhArata-mAtA kI paratantratA-ber3iyoM ko eka coTa meM kaTakaTakara kATa dUMgA / aura isa taraha maiM amara ho jaauuNgaa| kucha A~dhI kI jhoMka meM, kucha dila dimAga kI jhoMka meM, kucha samajhakara aura kucha zarmAzarmI meM maiM to kAleja chor3a baiThA, mitra vahIM rhe| aba mere lie do hI kAma the-deza-sevA aura bhaTakana / isa

Page #115
104 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] deza- sevA meM kaI bA~sa lagAye, para nApa nahIM sakA ki deza kitane sa Age bar3hA / Akhira jaba deza vahIM kA vahIM dIkhA - balki cAhe kucha pichar3A huA - aura sevA kA kucha zranta hI naz2ara nahIM zrAyA aura na mahattva, kucha thakAna hone lagI aura mana aura kucha cAhane lgaa| loga bhI merI deza sevA kI kama prazaMsA karane lage aura usase taGga-se dIkhane lage, aura pitA kI ciTThiyoM-para-ciTThiyA~ AI aura strI kI gar3abar3a khabareM, aura ghara kI bepaisA hAlatakSubdha mana se deza sevA chor3a denI pdd'ii| socA thA, kucha karake dikhAU~gA aura pujU~gA, so kucha karake to dikhA na sakA, ulTe pITha dikhAkara bhAganA par3a gyaa| ghara para Akara cupacApa baiTha gayA / pitA bImAra haiM, strI bhI ThIka nahIM hai, aura bacce yahA~ se vahA~ aura vahA~ se yahA~ aura saba jagaha se phira-phirakara cauke meM ghUma rahe haiN| cauke meM kucha banA nahIM, kauna banAye aura kaise banAye ? I pitA - strI kI isa bImArI aura baccoM ke ghUmane kA pariNAma yaha huA ki maiM eka miDila skUla meM mAsTara ho gayA / isa davA ne kAma bhI khUba kiyA / kyoMki pitA caMge ho gaye, strI bhI ThIka rahane lagI, roTI ThIka banane aura baccoM ko milane lgii| paiMtIsa rupaye kI karAmAta ko aba dekhaa| hajAroM rupae ikaTTha e kie haiM, aura de die haiM, rUkhI roTI bhI khAI hai aura paidala bhI calA hU~, para paise kA pUrA mUlya aura pUrI karAmAta abase pahale samajha meM nahIM AI | deza sevA meM aisI karAmAta nahIM najara aaii| use paiMtIsa rupaye meM chor3a dene ke lie maiM pachatAtA nahIM hU~ / apanI deza sevA meM maiM abhI taka eka bhI rogI nahIM acchA kara pAyA hU~, eka ko bhI khuza nahIM kara pAyA hU~, eka ko bhI nahIM apanA banA pAyA hU~, yahA~ taka ki apane ko bhI kucha nahIM banA pAyA hU~ / lekcara se yaha kucha bhI kAma nahIM hotA / ina paiMtIsa ne acchA bhI kiyA, khuza bhI kiyA, loga bhI kucha apane banate jA rahe haiM, aura apane ko

Page #116
prAtithya bhI samajhatA hU~, banA rahA huuN| to isI mAsTarI ke kAla meM koI sAta sAla bAda eka roja dikhAI de gaye vahI kAleja vAle mitra / __cA~danI-cauka meM kucha kharIda kara rahe haiN| haiTa hai aura camakate bUTa haiM, patalUna bar3I naphIsa hai, koTa nAbhi se jarA nIce taka A gayA hai| kAleja kI merI par3hAI kI zreSThatA rakkhI rahI, aura maiM mimakatA rahA / bolUM yA na bolU~ ? bolU kaise bolU, "sara' yA aura kucha ? itane meM hI unhoMne mujhe dekhaa|" . "o-ho, prasAda bAbU , tuma kahA~ !, haauu-dduu-yuu-dduu|" maiMne gunagunA diyA, "acchA hU~, yahI hU~ / kRpA hai|" ve nissaMkoca khulakara bole, kharIda bhI hotI jAtI thii| eka haiTa, kucha glabja, aura kucha aura cIjeM jinakI aMgrejI nahIM AtI, kharIdI gii| taba phira hAtha pakar3akara mujhe sAtha le cale / mujhe unake bolane meM thor3I kahIM 'svAmitva kI dhvani mAlama huI, bAkI kucha nahIM / "kaho bhAI, kyA karate ho ?" "mAsTarI se peTa bharatA huuN|" merA bhI purAnA sAhasa lauTa aayaa| phira acchI taraha bAteM hone lgii| __ patA lagA bI0 esa-sI0 ke bAda ve iMglaiMDa cale gaye the / vahA~ se hAleMDa-DenamArka / unakA viSaya gorakSA aura govarddhana thA / isa sambandha meM vahA~ bar3A kAma horahA hai| saba dekhaa| usI ora kI koI DigrI bhI lAye haiM / go-sevA kI ora unakI pahale se pravRtti hai| vahA~ jAkara dekhA ki isa sambandha meM hindustAna meM kAphI kiyA

Page #117
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] jA sakatA hai / yahA~ vahA~ se bhI jyAdA suvidhAe~ haiN| una dezoM meM hI jAkara hindustAna kI isa sambandha kI paristhiti kA adhyayana kiyaa| tAje naye vaijJAnika tarIke upayoga meM lAye jAyeM, to yahA~ go-vaMza khUba bar3hAyA aura unnata kiyA jA sakatA hai| lekina isa ora dhyAna nahIM diyA jA rahA hai / bhArata kRSi-pradhAna deza hai| govaMza para usakA AdhAra hai| isalie go-sevA ke prazna meM hI usakA lAbha hai / bhArata kI svatantratA bhI usI prazna meM saMzliSTa hai / kheda hai ki netA isa ora ThIka dhyAna nahIM dete / unakA yahI kAma hogA ki isa prazna ke mahattva ko prakaTa kreN| ve eka gozAlA ( DeyarI) kholane jA rahe haiM / bilakula Adhunika tarIke para / usase dUdha zuddha milegA, aura go-vaMza kI rakSA aura unnati ke saba upAya kAma meM lAye jaayeNge| go-vaMza kaisA kSINa hotA jA rahA hai, aura bhArata so rahA hai, dhikkAra hai ! isasabakA Azaya samajha maiMne AzvAsana de diyA, "DeyarI kholie / sera-mara dUdha roja to maiM le liyA karU~gA, apane mitroM se bhI khuuNgaa|" unhoMne bhI dekhA, unakA niSkAma lekcara vyartha nahIM gyaa| taba aura aura bAteM huii| abhI, 15-20 dina hue, hI lauTe haiN| bar3A kharca par3atA hai| pA~ca sAla meM 12 hajAra / paradeza bar3e acche haiM, jI hotA thA, vahIM rahane lguuN| bhArata kA RNa hai / use cukAnA hogaa| bhArata ko khIMca kara usI purAne go-sevA ke lakSya para lAnA hogA / pahale....... phira vahI lekcara thA jise maiMne bar3e dhIraja se bardAzta kiyaa| ghara ke pAsa AyA taba bole.... "acchA ..." maiMne bhI kahA, "acchaa|" "bhAI, kabhI-kabhI mila liyA kro|"

Page #118
107 prAtithya "jarUra mila liyA kruuNgaa| DeyarI kA patA to lagegA hii|" "hA~-hA~ / kyoM nahIM ? vAha !" isa taraha ghara ke daravAje para lauTa jAne ko mujhe svatantra chor3a ve cale gye| ___ purAne abhinna mitra ko pAkara maiM bahuta prasanna huaa| ghara meM jAkara bAta sunAI-sabane mujhe bhAgyazAlI svIkAra kiyA, aura apanI-apanI zraddhA-bheMTa unake daravAje para car3hAne ko socaa| usake bAda do-eka daphe dekhA to unameM antara par3a gayA thaa| bAkI bAta vahI thI-kapar3e badala gaye the / yaha nahIM ki mUMcha rakhA lI ho / hA~, aba khadara kI TopI, aura Andhra kI malamala-sI khahara kI dhotI aura kurtA aura cappana / bagghI meM baiThe hote the / maiM paTarI para calatA hotA thA-bagghI sara se nikala jAtI thii| kabhI dekha lete to muskarA par3ate the| taba ve apanI DeyarI kI justajU meM the, aura netAoM se milane-milAne kA kAma karate the| Akhira eka dina dina-dahAr3e aisA bIca-sar3aka cala rahA thA ki bagghI ko apane Apa rukAnA par3a gayA / ve utara aaye| bole, "kahA~ jA rahe haiM, prasAda jI ?" "driyaagNj|" "to calie, mujhe bhI usI tarapha jAnA hai| baiTha clie|" maiM niSkaNTaka baiTha gyaa| taba patA milA, DeyarI ke kAma kA Arambha ho gayA hai| kabhI vahA~ pahu~cane kA nimantraNa bhI milaa| "Ao bhAI, kisI dina dekha jAnA / kucha nahIM to saira hI shii| dUra to hai hii| yahA~ se kula 3-4 mIla jagaha hogii|" maiMne kucha hA~-hA~ hU~-hU~ kara hI diyaa| taya kitanI jamIna lI gaI hai, kisa taraha use bone ke lie

Page #119
105 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] bA~TA hai, gAyoM kI kisma aura tAdAda aura vizeSatAe~, aura guNagAna aura unakA mahattva Adi-Adi kA avirala bakhAna maiMne bhI suna liyaa| unakI gAr3I meM baiThA thaa| para Apase dhIraja se na sunA jAyagA, isalie jAne deN| unakA rAstA jahA~ alaga hotA thA, vahA~"aba...yahA~..." "maiM caTa se bagghI se kUda pdd'aa|" "dekho, prasAda, AnA / kisI dina bhI A jaanaa| nahIM to maiM hI le calU~ ?" maiMne bhI kaha diyA, "yahI ThIka hogaa| ghara para ATha baje milUMgA-calA calUMgA-itavAra ko|" "acchA, maiM gAr3I letA zrAU~gA / dhyAna rkhnaa|" "acchA / " umakI bagghI calI gaI aura itavAra ko ghara para nahIM A skii| pIche patA calA, Avazyaka kAma laga gayA thaa| mere ghara eka svAmIjI Aye hue haiN| asahayoga ke jamAne ne unheM akasmAt saMyogavaza prasiddhi de DAlI hai| para prasiddhi unake yogya nahIM hai| prasiddhi jaisI bAjArU cIja unake sAtha lagI acchI nahIM lgtii| ve usase ghabarAte bhI haiN| mujha para unakA vizeSa anugraha hai / mere ve pitA aura guru sarIkhe haiN| mere isa adhaHpAta ke jamAne meM bhI unhoMne apanA anugraha mujha para se nahIM uThA liyA hai / ve bar3I jagaha Thaharane aura jAne se bacate haiM, aura mere hI yahA~ Thaharate haiN| dillI kI taMga galiyoM aura makAnoM meM unakI unmukta prAtmA caina nahIM pAtI, isase ve dina meM aura rAta meM jyAdAtara bAhara

Page #120
prAtithya 106 nikala jAte hai| hA~, khAne kA to hamAre yahA~ ThIka hai, bAqI kucha nahIM / itavAra kA dina thA / merI chuTTI thii| svAmIjI ne kahA, "hama to jAte haiN|" "kahA~ jAiegA ?" "jiMdhara ko cala diyA / " " acchA Thaharie, " maiMne kahA aura mitra kI DeyarI jAne ke AmantraNa kI bAta socanI dhArambha kara dii| dina acchA hai, calo yahI sahI aura Aja hI sahI / apane aise bar3hiyA mitra ko dikhAkara apane mana kI bhI thor3I zAbAzI jItane kI icchA huI / svAmIjI kI nigAha meM maiM kucha uTha hI jAU~gA / bolA 1 "svAmIjI, eka jagaha calate haiN| eka DeyarI hai, khulI jagaha hai, khetI bhI hai| mere eka purAne mitra kA sthAna hai / " "calo / " maiM, merI strI, choTA baccA aura svAmIjI gAr3I lekara hama cAroM cala diye| dopahara hote-hote vahA~ pahu~ca gye| mitra vahIM mile / bar3I lambI-caur3I jagaha hai / yaha gAyoM ke rahane kI jagaha hai, hA~ duhI jAtI haiM; yahA~ caratI haiM, vagairaha / jamIna isa taraha bA~TI gaI hai, itane meM carAgAha, itane meM nAja kI khetI, itane meM sAga-bhAjI, thor3e meM phala-phUla -udhara Ikha hai - yaha saba kucha bhI pAnI kA bhI intajAma kiyA, itanI kaThinAiyoM kA sAmanA karanA par3A, aba bahuta ThIka ho gayA hai, kharca bar3A par3a gayA hai - Adi-Adi vyavasAya kI bAteM bhI; dUdha aise ThIka rahatA hai. jarmsa nahIM rahane cAhie Adi-Adi jJAna kI bAteM apane isa AdamI kI aura usa gau kI zikAyata aura tArIfa - isa prakAra mitra ne phuTakara sUcanAoM aura jJAna kA

Page #121
110 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] bhaNDAra hamAre sAmane paTaka diyaa| hamane kucha sunA, kucha nahIM sunA aura bAkI bikhera diyaa| - hamane go-sevA ke aura kamAI ke isa kAma ko dekhakara prasanatA jtlaaii| taba khAne kI kucha icchA prakaTa kii| lekina yaha bhUla gaye ki isa sAla pAlA kar3Ake kA par3A thaa| khetI kA satyAnAza kara gyaa| cane ke paudhe mare par3e haiM, chUTa abhI na jAne kaba AyeMge; bAla gehU~ kI AI nahIM, mulasa gaI hai, isI se maTara meM bhI dAne nahIM par3a pAye hai| Akhira eka jarA ThIka-sA cane kA kheta dIkha par3A hai| kintu haiM ! ___ "usameM kUla A gaye haiM, use nahIM / maiM dUsarA kheta batAtA huuN| vahA~ cane kA sAga ThIka milegaa|" merI strI ne cauMkakara usa phUladAra cane ke sAga para se hAtha uThA liye / dUsare kheta para pahu~ce-koMpala tor3a-tor3akara khAkara kucha tuSTi prApta kii| mitra isa bIca apane isa udyoga kI avasthA hamAre sAmane phailAte rahe "khetI yoM hotI, para yaha pAlA...?" patA calA gAjara-mUlI haiN| unheM hI ma~gAo bhAI ! Akhira lauTa kara Aye aura dugdhazAlA ke Age khule maidAna meM khATa DAlakara baiTha gye| peMsila-sI mUliyA~ aura aMgula-bhara kI gAjareM dhokara taztarI meM peza kI gii| hama cAra jane eka taztarI-bhara ye 'phala' kaise khA jAe~ge ?-taztarI sAmane peza karake sabhyatA bhI yaha dekhane khar3I ho gaI hai| isase kucha to bhUkha hI khAI aura bar3e Ahiste se uThAkara taztarI meM rakhI ina phaloM kI eka-eka tarAza khaaii| khA cuke taba mitra ne hukma diyA aura taztarI naukara uThA le gyaa| lekina baccA bhUkha nahIM nigala sakA hai| aura merI strI bhI

Page #122
prAtithya 111 jraa-jraa...| maiM bar3A sabhya bana rahA hU~, mAno vaha tarAza bhI mere peTa meM jAkara baiTha rahI haiN| svAmIjI bar3e prasanna haiN| eka bAta bhUla gaI, gAyoM ko duhane vAle AdamI ko chaha roja hue eka gAya ne lAta mAra dI thii| usake A~kha meM lagI, A~kha bekAma ho gaI, aura use alahadA kara denA pdd'aa| abhI taka dUsare AdamI kA bandobasta ho nahIM pAyA hai, isalie usase hI kAma calAnA par3atA hai / isa taraha mikadAra se ATha pauNDa dUdha kama duhA jAtA hai / kAraNa batAyA gayA drage "duhane kI eka khAsa praNAlI hotI hai, jora bhI par3atA hai| AdI hone kI bAta hai-- jo nahIM jAnatA vaha... / " lekina kAraNa jAnane ko hama bahuta utsuka nahIM haiM / basa, ho gaI bAta ki ATha pauMDa dUdha kama hotA hai / to zAma ho rahI hai| aba calanA caahie| udhara sAmane hI paune do sau pauNDa dUdha tula cukA hai / aba sIla lagA ke bAjAra meM jAyagA / ba~dhe gAhaka haiM, vahIM pahu~ca jAtA hai| balki ATha pauDa kama dUdha hone se bar3I muzkila ho rahI hai| DimANDa jyAdA hai, saplAI kama -- phira usameM se bhI ye ATha pauNDa kama ho gaye haiN| bar3I muzkila hai| kaisA sAfa-sapheda gAr3hA dUdha bhara rakhA hai aura kitanA sArA ! bacce ne mA~ se kahA aura maiMne sunA / para maiM cupa rhaa| svAmIjI ne bhI sunA, ve bhI cupa rahe aura ha~sa par3e / Akhira bacce kI khAtira strI ko behayAI bhugatanI pdd'ii| alaga bulAkara kahA, "bacce ke lie thor3e dUdha ko kaha do / " mana karArA banAkara maiMne javAba diyA, "hA~-hA~, so kyA bAta hai !" maiMne phira mitra se kahA, "bhAI, DeyarI meM Aye, dUdha cakhA hI

Page #123
112 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] nahIM, yaha bhI koI bAta hai ? mitra pAnI ho gaye, bole, "bhaI prasAda, ATha pauNDa..." Age kI bAta nahIM khuuNgaa| cupa kara dene vAlI saphAI thii| jI huA usa paune do sau pauNDa dUdha meM thUka dUM aura kImata dekara mukAbale ko khar3A ho jaauuN| lekina kahA, "jAne bhI do| to kyA huA ? aisA kyA maiM kucha nahIM samajhatA ?" phaurana hama cale aaye| baccA bhUkhA rahA, para rAste meM koI bAjAra thor3e hI par3atA hai jo kucha lekara de diyA jAtA! ghara ke saba loga ikaTThA hue svAmIjI ne ha~sakara kahA, "dekhe, Apake mitra ? yahI to duniyA hai|" maiM bacAva para udyata huA, bolA, "ve...| lekina...." ___ para bAta kahane ko milI nhiiN| svAmIjI ne kahA, "tumako bhI aisA hI bananA cAhie, samajhe !" maiM cup| taba se strI ko acchI bAta kahane ko mila gaI hai| aura maiM cupa ho jAtA huuN| para maiM aba bhI samajhatA hU~-lAcArI eka cIz2a hotI hai, aura nIyata para hamalA na honA caahie| lekina svAmIjI saba bAtoM para ha~sa dete haiN|

Page #124
kaH panthA zahara ke bar3e logoM ne eka klaba khola rakhA hai, 'da vIja' (The we's) / usa klaba ke sadasya gine-cune haiN| isa zAna ke klaba maiMne amerikA aura vilAyatoM meM dekhe haiM, yahA~ to dUsarA nahIM dekhaa| lAcAra jaba bhASaNa dene meM pahalI bAra vahA~ gayA, taba lAlacanda se merA paricaya huaa| zahara ke sabase bar3e jauharI kA vaha sabase choTA putra thaa| ___ vyAkhyAna samApta ho gayA aura klaba ke sadasyoM se paricayalAbha kara jaba maiM calane lagA, taba klaba ke mantrI aura lagabhaga anya sabhI sadasya hAla ke dvAra taka mujhe pahu~cAne aaye| usa samaya eka vyakti Age bar3hakara, khar3I huI moTarakAra kA daravAjA khola, vinIta bhAva se abhivAdana-pUrvaka mere samakSa prA khar3A huA / nirdoSa ujjvala khAdI ke vastra pahane, vinaya kI mUrti banA, ikahare badana kA vaha bAIsa-caubIsa varSa kA yuvA vAlaka mujhe bar3A bhalA mAlUma huaa| klaba ke mantrI ne a~garejI meM kahA, "maiM ApakA paricaya to karA hI na sakA / kAma meM Age bar3hakara nAma ke samaya Apa sadA 113

Page #125
114 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] pIche hI rahate haiM / yahA~ ke mazahUra....jauharI Apake pitA haiM / zrApa hamAre klaba ke khajAMcI haiM, misTara lAlacanda jauharI / " "maiM bahuta khuza hU~ / " maiMne kahA, lAlacanda abhivAdana meM tanika jhukA / mere sAtha Ate hue mantrI se usane zuddha a~garejI meM kahA, "oha, tuma kaSTa na karo / Apako maiM hI sthAna para pahu~cA dU~gA / " maiM moTara meM baiThA aura mere pIche Akara lAlacanda mere barAbara baiTha gayA / gAr3I rolsa-raoNyala thI aura jisa svAbhAvikatA ke sAtha usane zophara ko amuka ora calane ke lie kahA, usase spaSTa thA ki lAlacanda gAr3I kA mAlika hai / gAr3I calI aura kucha dera lAlacanda cupa baiThA rahA / mujhe pratIta ho rahA thA ki cupa hI baiThe rahane ke lie zAyada usane mantrI ko kaSTa na karane kA parAmarza nahIM diyA hai / vaha kucha kahanA cAhatA hai; lekina kadAcit use rAha nahIM sUjha rahI hai / taba maiMne kahA, "to Apa jauharI haiM / javAharAta kA kAma bhI karate haiM ?" " jI hA~, kucha karatA bhI hU~ / mujhe logoM ne yoM hI klaba kA svajAMcI cuna liyA hai / " spaSTa a~garejI meM usane kahA, aura kahatA rahA, "ApakI vaktRtA se maiM bahuta prabhAvita huaa| merI bAtoM ke lie kyA Apa mujhe kSamA kareMge ? Apane bhASaNa meM iMjIla ke usa vAkya ko doharAyA thA, jisameM likhA hai ki hAthI kA suI ke cheda se nikalanA AsAna ho sakatA hai; para dhana vAle ke lie Izvara ke rAjya meM praveza pAnA usase bhI kaThina hai| maiM jAnanA cAhatA hU~ ki kyA vaha ThIka hai ?" ke bAlaka yuvaka kI ora dekhA / dikhAI diyA, usake mukha para jijJAsA hai| vaha jaise kRpA kA prArthI hai / mAno vaha abhI kAtara ho AyagA / iMjIla ke isa vAkya ke

Page #126
kaH panyA 115 prati jaise vaha kisI prakAra nizcinta nahIM ho pAtA hai / mAno svargarAjya meM usI ke praveza athavA apraveza kA prazna hai| mere mana meM usa bAlaka ke prati karuNA huii| maiMne pUchA, "tumhAre prazna kA kyA Azaya hai ?" usane usI zuddha aura prabhAvotpAdaka svara meM kahA, "yahI ki maiM jAnanA cAhatA hU~ ki iMjIla kI isa vANI kA kyA vahI abhiprAya hai, jo usake zabdoM kA artha hotA hai ?" ___ hamArI bAteM a~garejI meM ho rahI thiiN| maiMne hindI meM kahA, "mere bhAI, usa vAkya se kyA tumheM yaha anivArya rUpa se smaraNa ho pAtA hai ki tuma dhanazAlI ho ? kyA maiM pUcha sakatA hU~ ki yaha gAr3I tumhArI hai ?" ___"jI hA~, yaha gAr3I mujhe apanI hI kahanI hogii| mere mana ko zAnti nahIM hai / iMjIla kA vaha kathana mujhe apane lie abhizApa mAlUma hotA hai; kintu, mujhe sandeha hai ki usa jaise pavitra grantha meM kisI zraddhAlu ke lie zApa ho sakatA hai| maiM jAnanA cAhatA hU~ ki taba kyA vaha vAkya jyoM-kA-tyoM satya nahIM hai ?" maine phira sacciMtA-pUrvaka lAlacanda ke mukha kI ora dekhaa| dekhA, mAno vaha trasta hai| kucha bojha use barAbara dabA rahA hai| "kyA Apa kaheMge ki usakA artha sAdhAraNa zabdArtha se kucha bhinna hai ?" maiMne pUchA, "tuma IsAI to nahIM ho na?" "nhiiN|" "taba kauna dharmAvalambI ho ?" "maiM jaina hU~ / isase Apa asantuSTa to nahIM haiM ki maiM jaina hU~ ?" maiMne kahA, "mere bhAI, kaisI bAta tuma kahate ho; lekina jaina hokara tuma ko bAibila kA eka vAkyAMza kyoM isa prakAra satAtA

Page #127
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] hai ? jaina-dharma bhI kyA aizvarya ko isI prakAra abhizapta ThaharAtA hai ?" ___ lAlacanda ne kahA, "jaina-dharma meM sarvopari tyAga kI mahimA hai| saba kucha tajanA hogA / nirgrantha ho jAnA hogA / parigraha kI ora se digambara / kintu, vaibhava duSkRti kA lakSaNa hai. aisA vahA~ kathana nahIM hai / pratyuta vaha to puNya kA phala hI batAyA gayA hai / " maiMne kahA, "taba tuma kyoM cintita hote ho ?" lAlacanda ne kahA, "bahuta icchA-parvaka to cintita nahIM hotA huuN| kyA cintA meM koI sukha hai ? kintu bAibila kI vaha paMkti to mere mana ko lagatI hI hai / TAle se TalatI nhiiN| ApakI vaktRtA sunakara maiMne soca liyA, Apa se maiM apanA prazna pUcha luuNgaa|" ___ hama loga cale jA rahe the| merA sthAna aba dUra nahIM thA / mujhe lAlacanda kA prazna zAstrIya prazna kI bhA~ti na lgaa| mujhe pratIta huA ki isa bAta ko jIvita samasyA banAkara yaha lAlacanda apane lie mAnasika kleza upasthita kara sakatA hai| ___maiMne kahA, "nisandeha, bAibila kI bAta jhUTha nahIM hai; kintu aisA isalie nahIM ki jar3a dhana-sampatti bahuta bar3I cIz2a hai, pratyuta isalie hai ki manuSya ati kSudra prANI hai / dhana-vaibhava kyA itanI bar3I vastu hai ki parama satya ko aura svarga ke rAjya ko apanI proTa meM Dhaka le ? avazyameva nahIM hai; para yaha bAta to isalie kahI gaI hai ki manuSya itanA durbala aura durbala hone ke kAraNa itanA ahaMkArI hai ki duniyA ke dhana-vaibhava se apanI dRSTi ko jakar3a letA hai / samajhatA hai, vaha apane ko samartha banA rahA hai| kintu isa prakAra dhana-mada kA sahArA lekara vaha apane ko pAmara hI banAtA hai, apane cAroM ora mAna-maryAdA kI lakIreM khIMcakara apane ko banda aura saMkIrNa hI banAtA hai / dhana-sampatti meM bhI to

Page #128
kaH panthA 117 parama pitA kA prayojana hai; kintu ati dIna, ati kSudra mAnava usase apane ko baoNdha letA hai / mere bhAI, iMjIla kA kathana manuSya kI isI kSudratA ke kAraNa hai / " lAlacanda ke samakSa jaise lAlaca kA dvAra khulA; kintu vaha use banda hI rakhanA cAhatA hai| usane AviSTa svara meM kahA, "to svarga kA rAjya dhanika ko aprApya nahIM hai ?" maiMne kahA, "jisa prakAra dhanika ko yaha aprApya nahIM hai ki vaha apane ko parama pitA kA bhikhArI aura manuSya kA sevaka samajhe, usI prakAra use svarga aura zAnti bhI aprApya nahIM hai / " lAlacanda ne pUchA, "to maiM yaha moTara rakhe raha sakatA hU~ ?" maiMne kahA, "de bhI DAla sakate ho, aura rakhe bhI raha sakate ho / dekara bhI svarga tumheM aprApya ho sakatA hai, aura use rakha kara bhI tuma svarga ko prApta pA sakate ho| mere bacce, tuma ko kyA kleza hai ?" merA sthAna pAsa A gayA thA / lAlacanda ne kahA, "kyA maiM kabhI ApakI sevA meM AU~, to ApakA bahuta harja hogA ?" maiMne kahA, "nahIM-nahIM, mujhe bahuta khuzI hogI / " vaha mere ghara ke daravAje taka mujhe pahu~cAne aayaa| usane mujhe praNAma kiyA / bahuta dhIme-dhIme, mAno bolane meM use kaSTa hotA ho, usane kahA, "maiM ApakA bahuta RNI hU~; lekina maiM ApakA bAlaka hU~ / " maiMne kahA, "maiM tumheM jAnakara bahuta prasanna huA / " anta meM vaha bhakti pUrvaka mujhe praNAma kara calA gayA / usake bAda lAlacanda mujhe kahA~ milA ? hA~, eka-Adha pArTI meM, jahA~ maiM vivazataH le jAyA gayA thA, vaha dikhAI diyA / sadA

Page #129
118 janendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] vahI ujjvala khahara kA libAsa hotA / cintita muskarAhaTa se muskarAtA vahI mukha aura halkI samIra kI bhA~ti tarala ziSTa vyavahAra / maiMne dekhA, vinaya-namra, saMkoca ke kAraNa bAtacIta meM kahIMkahIM vaha aba hakalA uThatA hai / vAkyoM kI svacchandatA aura pravAha meM jaise kucha dhImApana A gayA hai| zabdoM meM sUkSmatA aura nirbalatA A gaI hai / zabdoM ke pIche saMkalpa-zakti mAno dhImI hotI jA rahI hai-mana kI zaMkA gaharI utaratI aura phailato jAtI hai| maiMne kahA, "kaho lAlacanda, acche to ho ? usane namita muskAna ke sAtha kahA, "ApakI kRpA se maiM prasanna huuN|" maiMne mAlUma kiyA ki pichale dinoM apanI javAharAta kI dukAna para jAnA usane bahuta kama kara diyA hai| apane mata ke mantavyoM meM pichale dinoM usane dhArmika zraddhA prApta kI hai| vrataupavAsa karatA hai, darzana-pUjA karatA hai aura yati-muniyoM kI saGgati-sevA karatA hai| apane dharma ke zAstra bA~canA usane zurU kiyA hai| vaha apane ko duniyAdArI se khIMcakara jaise saMkSipta banAnA cAha rahA hai| __ maiMne pUchA, "kaho bhAI, tumhAre klaba ke aura saba loga kuzalaparvaka to haiM ?" usane kahA, "jahA~ taka mujhe jJAta hai, saba Ananda-pUrvaka haiN| ___maiMne pUchA, "kyoM kyA Ajakala una logoM se milanA nahIM hotA ?" ___ usane kahA, "usa klaba se merA aba sambandha nahIM rhaa|" maiMne Azcarya prakaTa kiyA, aura jAnanA cAhA ki aisI kyA bAta huI hai| mAlUma huA, bAta koI vizeSa nahIM huI hai| karor3apati kA putra hai; isIlie to vaha klaba kA sadasya thA / nirdhana kA putra hone

Page #130
kaH panyA 119 para to vaha niyama-parvaka usa klaba kA sadasya bhI na ho sakatA; isalie usane vaha klaba chor3a diyA hai| ___maiMne dekhA lAlacanda pahale se kucha pIlA ho gayA hai| usane mujha se kSamA mA~gI ki icchA karake bhI vaha mujha se milane kA apanA saubhAgya na banA skaa| usane kahA, "vaha bar3I ulajhana meM hai, aura avazya jaldI hI mujha se milanA cAhatA hai|" ___ isake bAda jaba kabhI maiMne use dekhA, dekhA ki vaha usI ora bar3ha rahA hai| vaha sUkSma se sUkSmatara aura kSINa se kSINatara hotA jAtA hai| usake cehare para vimalatA ke sAtha cintA kI chApa bar3hatI jAtI hai| ceharA nukIlA hotA jAtA hai, vANI meM adhikAdhika saMkoca AtA jAtA hai| bAta muMha se muzkila se nikalatI hai| nikalatI hai, taba mAno kSamA-yAcanA karatI huii| saGkalpa-zUnya aura saMdigdha-sI banI dhvani mAno kuhare kI bhA~ti usake zabdoM ko Dase rahatI hai| mujhe mAlUma huzrA, cAra bhAI usake aura haiN| ve saba hRSTa-puSTa haiM, dubalA-patalA vahI hai| khadara bhI ghara-bhara meM vahI pahanatA hai / par3hA-likhA saba bhAiyoM meM vahI jyAdA hai, bI0 e0 pAsa hai, aura bur3hiyA mA~ kA vahI saba se pyArA hai| ina pArTiyoM meM hI mujhe usake aura bhAI bhI mile| sabase bar3e bhAI ati sundara, svastha puruSa the| ceharA surkha khilA rahatA thaa| unakI bAta meM jora hotA thA aura dhmk| kucha ajaba roba unake vyavahAra meM thA / a~garejI bhASA se unheM sAdhAraNa paricaya thA; kintu U~cI-se-U~cI sabhA-samAja meM ve viziSTa aura mAnya puruSa kI bhA~ti gauravazIlatA ke sAtha vyavahAra karate the| unakI ha~sI nissaMkoca hotI thii| unakA badana doharA thaa| bephikrI aura vilAsa mAno unake zarIra se vikIrNa ho rahA thaa| unakI avasthA lagabhaga paiMtAlIsa ke lagabhaga thI; para dhe paiMtIsa ke-se dikhAI dete

Page #131
120 . jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] the / perisa meM pA~ca-sau rupaye kharca kara havAI jahAja se unake lie pAnoM kI eka DholI bhejI gaI thI, pAna ke vaha aise zaukIna the| nyUyArka meM to pAna pAne meM aura bhI jyAdA kharca kiyA thaa| unase milakara vyakti kA sukhI na honA asambhava thaa| kulInatA unake paricchada se aura zAlInatA unake tamAma vyaktitva se mAno phUTatI rahatI thii| atyanta anugraha-pUrNa prema-bhAva se ve sabaMse milate the| lAlacanda ne merA unase paricaya karAyA / unakA nAma mAnikacanda thaa| lAlacanda kI anupasthiti meM unhoMne mujha se kahA, "svAmIjI, isa lAlacanda ko samajhAie n| kAma-dhandhA chor3a kara jAne kisa phera meM rahatA hai !" ___maiMne kahA, "Apa logoM ke kahane-sunane kA kucha pariNAma nahIM hAtA hai kyA ? yoM to lAlacanda bahuta samajhadAra hai|" mAnikacanda ke Upara ke aoTha meM tanika vakra pdd'aa| unhoMne kahA, "samajha hI to use kharAba kara rahI hai| apane andara na samAya vaha samajha bigAr3a hI karatI hai| Apa usase kahie, agara vaha cAhe to use alaga dukAna karA dI jAya / ghara meM bIvI hai, bAla-bacce haiN| aba samajha na AyegI; to Age kyA hogA ?" maiMne kahA, "ThIka to hai / maiM usase kahU~gA ki bhAI, samajhadAra hokara samajhadArI kA rAstA kyoM chor3ate ho ?" mAnikacanda ne kahA, "jAne yaha kaisA lar3akA hai ! hama nahIM cAhate ki vaha dukAna meM hI lge| tabiyata ho to duniyA kI saira kare / kamI to usake lie hai nahIM, lekina yaha vairAgIpanA, svAmI jI, bar3I burI bAta hai| eka Apa haiM, akele haiM, pAlane-posane ko koI sAtha ba~dhA nahIM hai; isalie Apa svAmI hoM, to ho bhI sakate haiM / sva-para-upakAra hI aba Apake lie kAma hai; lekina lAlacanda kI aisI umara bhI nahIM hai, hAlata bhI nahIM hai|"

Page #132
kaH panthA 121. - maiM mAnikacanda se milakara khuza huA / aura bhAI bhI mAnikacanda kI hI rAha para the, aura khuza the| 'unheM apane sAtha koI zikAyata nahIM thii| unheM apane meM kucha galana nahIM dikhAI detA thA / maje meM rahate the| cintA-vicAra kA adhika parigraha nahIM rakhate the| ve loga saba samAja meM mAnya, karmazIla, tatpara AdamI the| adhika-se-adhika yahI to kahA jA sakatA thA ki ve sadAcArI nahIM haiM; kintu upapatniyA~ haiM, athavA premikAe~ haiM, yA vezyAgamana ke sambandha meM dRr3hapratijJa nahIM haiM, to isase unake jIvana meM kyA akSamatA AtI thI ? ve saba-ke-saba AtmatuSTa, svastha, prasanna, mAnya, milanasAra aura madhura-bhASI the| ___ lAlacanda ne sabase mujhe milAyA / maiM milakara khuza huaa| isake bAda eka dina vaha mere sthAna para aayaa| usa samaya kisI bar3I duvidhA meM mAlUma hotA thaa| vaha mere sAtha puNya aura pApa kI carcA calAne AyA thaa| vaha jAnanA cAhatA thA ki kyA kRtya puNya hai, aura kyA pApa ? kyA vaha jo bAteM kara rahA hai, usase sUkSma jIvoM kI hiMsA nahIM hotI ? kyA hiMsA pApa nahIM hai ? vaha isa sambandha meM bhI avizvasta mAlUma hotA thA ki yahA~ baiThA jo mujha se bAta kara rahA hai, vaha puNya hI hai pApa nhiiN| ____ mujhe jJAta huA ki idhara vaha pratidina tIna-tIna ghaNTe mandira meM baiThatA hai| vaha atyanta satarka rahatA hai ki azubha bhAva usake mana meM na Ane paaveN| vaha pahale se aura bhI pIlA ho gayA thA, aura adhika hakalA kara bolatA thaa| . __maiMne kahA, "tumheM dharma ke bAre meM itane aNuvIkSaNa kI bhAvazyakatA nhiiN| dhArmika jIvana divya jIvana hai| divya jIvana alpaprANa jIvana nahIM hai| mahAprANatA vAstavika tattva hai| pApapuNya ke viveka kI rAha se manuSya apanA poSaNa karatA hai| usa

Page #133
122 janendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] rAha ke bIca meM hone kA prayojana yaha hai ki vaha itanA puSTa bane ki bhaya kI use AvazyakatA na rahe; isalie kRtya ke andara pApa-puNya nahIM hai, varan manuSya ke bhItara kI bhIrutA aura anadhikAritA ke kAraNa usake lie kucha puNya hai aura kucha vigahaNIya paap| ___ mujhe aisA pratIta huA ki maiM lAlacanda kI dRSTi se niSiddha kSetra para jA rahA huuN| maiMne kahA, "mere bacce, pApa-puNya kI ulajhana ko aura mata uljhaao| manuSya ko iSTa to vaha avasthA hai, jahA~ se pApa-puNya nIce hI raha jAte haiN| lekina jIne ko nIce chor3ane ke lie car3hanA bhI jIne se hI hogaa| maiM tumase ghUchatA hU~, kyA tuma merI bAta mAnoge ?" ___ lAlacanda kA tanika bhI samAdhAna hotA pratIta na hotA thA; kintu mujhe jJAta huA ki vaha mujha se kucha-na-kucha kI to apekSA rakhatA hai| maiMne kahA, "lAlacanda, maiM to yaha dekhatA hU~ ki tuma apane bhAiyoM ke sAtha usI dUkAna para nahIM baiTha sakate, to alaga vyavasAya claao| kucha vyavasAya tumheM apane kandhe para uThAnA hI caahie| AjIvikA ke lie jo manuSya ko koI dhandhA karanA jarUrI ho gayA hai, yaha bAta vidhAtA kI ora se nirI prayojanahIna mata smjho| yaha dhandhA calAkara AdamI ko patA calatA hai ki duniyA meM jIvana akelA nahIM hai, akele kA nahIM hai, akele vaha nahIM calegA; lekina kucha AdamI haiM, jo binA dhandhe ke bhI rahate haiN| unameM se maiM bhI to eka huuN| dUsaroM kI dI huI bhIkha hamArA bhojana hai| vahI hamArI vRtti hai; lekina bhIkha ke bhojana pAne kI vRtti ke adhikAra taka zrAdamI jIvana meM kucha jIne pAra karake hI pahu~catA hai| prArambha meM to svabhAva ko puSTa karanA hotA hai| apane ko svastha aura AtmapratiSThita karanA hotA hai| vividha upAdAnoM se lar3akara apane taI zrAhAra juTAnA aura jIvita rahanA

Page #134
yahI sanA banA lo se dUkAna lekara bhUlane kA yatna vimukha hokara kaH panthA 123 tathA rakhanA hotA hai| jaba vyakti zrAtmastha huA, taba jIvana ke samasta saMgRhIta upAdAna svayameva parigraha hone lagate haiN| aura, taba vaha apane ko jagat kI sadabhilASA para chor3a detA hai| svayaM bhI apane lie nahIM rahatA-vizva ke lie rahatA hai| tuma pApa-puNya kI bAta karate ho, ataH maiM tuma se kahatA hU~ ki isa samaya koI dhandhA lekara baiThanA tumhArA parama dharma hai| karma se vimukha hokara mandira meM upAsanA karane meM apane ko bhUlane kA yatna karanA adhame hai| svAdhIna bhAva se dUkAna lekara vyavasAya karo, aura usI ko upAsanA banA lo| vyavasAya meM bhI tuma prAmANikatA na tajo, yahI saba-kucha hai|" ___maiMne isI bhA~ti usase kucha aura bhI bAteM kiiN| maiMne dekhA, kucha usameM aTaka hai / jo kucha bhItara aTakA hai, use vaha cAhakara bhI bAhara nahIM lA pAtA / 'strI' zabda bhUlakara bhI usakI bAtoM ke Asa-pAsa maiM nahIM paataa| maiM dekhatA hU~, vaha javAna hai| tIsabattIsa varSa se adhika usakI umra kabhI nahIM ho sktii| usakI carcA meM strI-tattva kI gandha taka ke abhAva ke prati hI mujhe zaMkA hotI hai / maiM apekSA rakhatA hU~ ki vaha kabhI ghara-parivAra Adi kI bhI bAteM mujha se kre| merI samajha meM nahIM AtA, strI-prema kI. bAteM usase kyoM ekadama dUra honI caahieN| ___ maiMne kahA, "lAlacanda, tuma mujhe apanA samajha lo / jaba jo cAhe mujha se kaha sakate ho|" maiMne dekhA, aba bhI usameM carcA calAne kI cAha hai ki jIvana kA mokSa kyA hai ? ___ jIvana kA mokSa kyA hai, yaha maiM becArA bhI kyA jAnatA huuN| lekina lAlacanda ko sAmane lekara usa mokSa se kahIM adhika maiM yaha jAnanA cAhatA hU~ ki lAlacanda isa mokSa-cintana ke pIche kisa Thokara se ulaTa kara par3A hai|

Page #135
124 janendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] lekina mujhe kucha bhI hAtha nahIM AyA, aura vaha vividha viSayoM para AdhyAtmika carcA calAkara, kucha santuSTa aura kucha viSaNNa, lauTa kara calA gyaa| usake bAda eka roja a~garejI bAjAra ke bIca se paidala jA rahA thA ki kyA dekhatA hU~, daur3akara lAlacanda ne mujhe pakar3a liyA aura kaha rahA hai, "svAmIjI, Aie, pdhaariye|" isa samaya lAlacanda kA mukha vaisA karttavya-zUnya nahIM hai, aura usa para kucha praphullatA bhI dikhAI detI hai / maiMne kahA, "kaho bhAI, kahA~ le caloge ?" ___ usane pAsa hI eka bahuta bar3I aura zAnadAra dUkAna kI tarapha dikhAkara batAyA ki vaha 'IsTa iMporiyama' usI kI nija kI dUkAna hai| mujhe prasannatA huI; lekina mere mana meM jarA khaTakA bhI huA ki isa AdamI meM yaha kArabArIpana kA lakSaNa nahIM hai ki aba taka mujha-jaise svAmI AdamI kI use cintA hai| vaha mujhe dUkAna meM le gayA aura abhyarthanA-pUrvaka apane isa udyama ke hAlacAla sunAne lgaa| usa samaya bhI maine usameM vaha purAnI prakRti jAgRta dekhI / dekhA, pApa se bhaya aura puNya kI cintA usameM lagI hI rahatI hai, aura vaha kucha AdhyAtmika viSayoM para vArtAlApa karane kI AvazyakatA meM ulajhA hI hai| agale dina mAnikacanda mere sthAna para mujha se milane Aye aura mujhe dhanyavAda dene lage ki lAlacanda alaga dUkAna lekara baiTha gayA hai / unhoMne batAyA ki eka hajAra rupaye mAhavAra kA bhI nukasAna ho, to bhI harja nahIM hai, lekina lar3akA to sambhalane para AyA hai / unhoMne batAyA ki sacamuca lAlacanda khUSa parizrama-pUrvaka kAma karatA hai, vyavasAya ke mAmale meM khUba caukasa hai| aura yaha,

Page #136
kaH panthA 125 ki unheM bilakula ummIda na thI ki vaha apanI jimmedArI itanI mahasUsa kregaa...| do sAla taka, maiM samajhatA hU~, mujhe yadA-kadA 'IsTa-iMporiyama' kA vaha bar3A borDa dikhAI detA rhaa| usake bAda mujhe nahIM mAlUma kyA huA / dUkAna vahI javAharAta aura ajAyabAta kI vahA~ rahI; para boDa vaha na thaa| mujhe lAlacanda bhI nahIM milA, na usake sambandha kI aura koI sUcanA hI milii| maiM bIca-bIca meM lAlacanda ke prati apane bhItara sasneha cintA kA anubhava karatA thA, ora mujhe acaraja bhI thA ki do-tIna varSa ho gaye haiM, lAlacanda ke viSaya meM mujhe koI sUcanA kyoM nahIM milI / Aja abhI do ghaNTe pahale ratanacanda ( lAlacanda kA bhAI ) mere pAsa hokara gayA hai| usane mujhe batAyA ki lAlacanda pAgala ho gayA hai| vaha ghara ke eka kamare meM khAlI takhta para rassI se baMdhA huA par3A hai| vaha cIkhatA-cillAtA hai aura usakI burI hAlata hai / nAkhUnoM aura dA~toM se apane ko kATa letA hai| ratanacanda ne cAhA ki maiM usake sAtha turanta ghara clN| maiMne kaha diyA, "maiM tIna-cAra ghaNTe bAda zrAU~gA; kyoMki meM yoM nahIM jAnA cAhatA, kucha socakara jAnA cAhatA huuN|" ___kyA Apa logoM ko lAlacanda ke sAtha itanA vAstA anubhava hotA hai ki mujhe lAcAra kareM ki lauTa Ane para batAU~ ki maiMne kyA pAyA ?

Page #137
Ama kA per3a rasIlI aura garamAgarama hotI jAtI huI hamArI bAtacIta meM abhI taka usane kucha bhAga nahIM liyA / aba vaha bolA 'nahAM, maiM Apa logoM se sahamata nahIM huuN| prema ko saundarya kI AvazyakatA nahIM / vaha apanI zakti se saundarya utpanna kara sakatA hai / vaha prema kyA, jo bAharI saundarya para Tika rahe / prema satya vastu hai; arthAt-binA kisI kA sahArA lekara vaha svayaM-siddha sthita rahane vAlI vastu hai / usameM bala hogA, to nirAdhAra meM se AdhAra use prApta ho jAyagA / nahIM to, nirbala hone para, rati aura kAmadeva ke saundarya kA bhI AdhAra use diyA jAyagAto usa para bhI Tikakara nahIM Thahara skegaa| khisaka kara gira jAyagA, aura phira kucha aura AdhAra DhU~DhegA / vaha prema nahIM, prema kA AbhAsa hai, prema kA upahAsa hai / yA yoM kaheM, prema kA AyAsa hai / prema vaha hotA hai, jo bhItara se phUTakara bAhara chA jAtA hai aura jahA~ barasatA hai, usakI asundaratA aura usake guNa-doSa miTA dekara use kamanIya sarva-sundara banA chor3atA hai| jise jagAne aura jagAye rakhane ke liye bAharI rUpa darakAra ho, vaha mAnoM sajaga nahIM, vaha saccA nhiiN|...." 126

Page #138
Ama kA per3a 127 hamane mana-cAhA paayaa| isa pramoda meM kucha dera aura yaha bhApa car3hatI rahI, to jarUra koI naI bAta sunaaygaa| jAne kahA~-kahA~ kI kyA-kyA bAteM ise AtI haiN| premakRSNa ne kahA, "sundaratA kI bilakula z2arUrata nahIM, to kyoM nahIM hama kisI bar3hasUrata ko pyAra karane lagate ?" pramoda ko avarodha nahIM milanA cAhiye / milA ki bhApa ghuTI / phira phaTa par3e, to aura muzkila / para yaha bhalA ho gayA ki jo garmI usameM car3hI, guhya aMtanti meM ekarasa bahatI huI rasadhArA meM se uThakara kahIM se kucha zItala vASpa usameM A milii| usane premakRSNa ko dekhaa| kSaNeka dekhakara kahA, "kauna kahatA hai, nahIM karate / tuma-hama, saba karate haiN|" premakRSNa ne kahA, "ghara para eka bur3hiyA AI thii| pagalI-sI thii| bAla kaTe the| cithar3oM se sajI thii| mu~ha se lAra Tapaka rahI thii| A~kheM cundI-cundI, kIca se sanI thiiN| nAka se drava nikala kara alaga baha rahA thaa| naukara se eka cuTakI cUna dilavA, maine use dUra karavA diyA, ki phira usakI zakala dIkhe nahIM, AvAja Aye nahIM / nahIM kyoM maiMne use pyAra kiyA ?" pramoda aba mAno painA hogayA / jaba yaha manasthiti hotI hai, taba manuSya ke tarka kI talavAra painI hokara dudhArI ho jAtI hai, sabako kATatI hai aura apane ko bhI kATatI hai| bolA, "nahIM kiyA to tumhArA pApa, usakA kyA doSa ? apanI kamI ke lie use kyoM ghRNya siddha karate ho ? tuma meM ghRNA na ho, to koI ghRNya kaise ho jAya ? aura tumameM ghRNA hai, yAnI tumameM gar3abar3a hai| aura, agara tumameM ghRNA utpanna huI thI to kyA tumane use isIlie nahIM bhagA diyA ki tuma usa ghRNA ko viSama ho uThane denA nahIM cAhate the ! kyoM nahIM cAhate the ? kyA isakA kAraNa yaha nahIM ho sakatA

Page #139
128 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [ chaThA bhAga ] ki bhItara se koI preraNA kaha rahI thI- 'ghRNA g2alata hai, g2alata hai, vaha videzI hai, maiM svabhAvagata hU~, mujhe usakI jagaha Ane do / ' tumhArI ghRNA bala khAkara karuraNA meM na badala jAya, aura vaha karuNA phira zuddha hote-hote prema na ho jAya, isI Dara se tumane use bhagA diyA / kyoMki usa prema ko jhelane kI tumameM sAmarthya na thI / isI aTUTa, agAdha, anapekSa prema kI sAmarthya ke kAraNa IsA IsA the, buddha buddha / kSudra aura virATa meM antara isI sAmarthya kI apekSA se hai| nahIM ? nahIM, to usake sAmane svastha hokara nahIM Tika sake, usa bhikhArina ko bhagA kara hI caina pA sake, isakA kAraNa aura kyA ho sakatA hai ?" premakRSNa ne kahA, "aura tuma use pyAra karate ? maiM bhI dekhatA, tuma kaise use pyAra karate ho !" pramoda sahasA kucha rukA / ruka kara kahA, "maiM ? maiM bhI pyAra na karatA maiM bhI tuma saba jaisA hU~, koI alaga thor3e hI hU~ / lekina sacAI ko hamAre avalamba kI jarUrata kyA vaha hamAre binA bhI hai / " premakRSNa ne ukasAte hue kahA, " truTi aura satya kI bAta kahane se to tumhArI bAta pramANita hotI nahIM / yaha batAo ki hama sundaratA se nirapekSa hokara prema kahA~ karate haiN| isake uttara meM yaha kahane se kAma nahIM calegA ki hama saba AdamI haiM, devatA nahIM / " pramoda halakA sA muskurAyA / usa muskurAhaTa se, bAta meM vinoda kI guJjAyaza nikala AI, avazya; para bAta kI gambhIratA jaise aura bar3ha gii| pUchA, "acchA, tumhArI prema-pAtrI sundara hai ? kaisI sundara hai ?" hama ha~se / premakRSNa ko aba jaise apane manakI-sI dharatI milI / lagA, jaise aba pramoda kucha samajha kI-sI bAta para zrI

Page #140
126 mAma kA per3a rahA hai| abhinaya ke bhAva se, jisameM se yathArthatA kA bhAva apane Apa dIkha par3a rahA thA, kahA, "aisI ki basa!" yahI bAta pramoda ne mujhase puuchii| mujhe bhI koI upayukta upamA hU~Dhe nahIM milI / yaha prakaTa kara diyA ki atIva sundara hai / ___ kintu hamAre vinoda aura abhinaya kA bhAva usa samaya TikanA kaThina ho gayA, jaba hamane dekhA kI bArI-bArI se vaha prazna hama meM se hareka se kiyA jA rahA hai aura hara eka uttara meM yahI jatAtA calA jA rahA hai ki usakI-sI preyasI kI mUrata aura kahIM nahIM milegii| aura bAta kisI kI bhI jhUTha na thii| kyoMki hamameM se jo vivAhita the, anivArya rUpa meM unakI premikA unakI vivAhita patnI nahIM thiiN| aura jo avivAhita the, unakI preyasI vaha thIM, jinase vivAha asambhava-prAya hotA / kAraNa, aprApya meM hI zrAdarza kA Aropa hai, aura vahIM pahu~cakara AkAMkSA gar3atI hai| ___ hamameM se ekAdha hI zeSa raha gayA thA ki premakRSNa ne kahA, "yaha kyA tamAzA banA rahe ho, pramoda / kucha kahate bhI ho ki sabakA bheda hI lene cale ho !" pramoda ne isakI parvAha na karate hue, hama meM se zeSa bAbU vaMzalocana kI ora mur3akara kahA, "hA~, sAhaba, aba ApakI ?" bAbU vaMzalocana ne Adhe oThoM se napI ha~sI ha~sI, aura uttara dene meM tatkSaNa apane ko samarthana paayaa| isa apanI asamarthatA para jhaMpate hue vaha phIke hokara balAt muskarAte rhe| ___"ApakI preyasI koI nahIM hai ? koI nahIM ? ?-Apako abhAgA kahU~, yA bhAgyavAna ?" vaMzalocana aura adhika phIke hue aura tanika adhika oTha phailAkara ha~sate rahe, bola na sake / "are bhAI aura koI na sahI, to tijorI to hogI ? yaha bhI nahIM kaha sakate ki vaha bar3I sundara hai ?"

Page #141
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] isa samaya premakRSNa ne bIca meM par3akara kahA, "sabase pUchate ho, tumhIM kyoM nahIM batAte, tumhArI preyasI kaisI hai ?" pramoda ne kahA, "maiM bhI Apa logoM ke sAtha hU~ aura zarta lagA kara kaha sakatA hU~ ki vaha itanI sundara hai ki vidhAtA ne banAI nahIM hai, vidhAtA se bana gaI hai; aura aba vaha svayaM bana jAne ke bAda, use sambhrama ke sAtha dekhakara 'hAya-hAya !' kara rahe haiM / .. sabase bar3ha-car3ha kara eka sundarI ko cuna lene kA dAyitva aura avasara hama logoM para A par3e, to hama loga kaise phaisalA kareM / anta meM eka hI cunI jAya na ? zeSa phira kama sundara yA asundara ThahareM / lekina una-unake premI hama loga kyA isase santuSTa hoM ? kyA hama yaha mAna leM ki hamArI premikA Adarza sundara nahIM hai ? agara jI se prema karate hoMge, to hama kabhI yaha nahIM maaneNge| aba jo eka prakAra se asundara ThaharatI hai, usako sabase sundara kisane banAyA ? ApakI A~khoM meM sabase viziSTa saundarya usako kisane pradAna kiyA ? Apako kisane lAcAra kiyA ki isa mAmale meM Apa bilakula na hAreM, tarka kI na suneM, bahusammati kI aura nirNAyakoM kI na mAneM, aura kaheM ki saba se sundara vahI hai / vaha Apake bhItara kA prema hai| tarka, sauMdarya ko kyA jAne ? usake lie prema cAhiye / vaha nahIM, to sauMdarya miTTI / vaha hai, to saba kucha sundara / prema ke lie prema cAhiye / " premakRSNa - " to hama saba - kaisI ko, saba kisI ko prema kara sakate - kAnI- lUlI ? ghor3A-billI ?" pramoda - "nahIM bhI kara sakate aura kara bhI sakate haiM / aura kyA mAlUma hama karate bhI haiM ! mujhe eka bAra eka gA~va jAne kA 130 maukA huA basa, isI kA to saba jhagar3A thA / hama prasanna hokara cupa baiTha gaye / usane kahanA zurU kiyA

Page #142
zrAma kA per3a : 2 : "... eka mitra ne bhejA thA ! maiM idhara zahara se Uba rahA thA / kahIM khulI havA meM pahu~canA cAhatA thA / maiM turanta calA bulA 131 gayA / mitra ke thor3I z2amIdArI thii| bhAI bAhara jAkara kahIM ovarasiyarI karate the aura mAhavAra apane vetana se Dyor3he rupaye ghara bheja diyA karate the / mitra khetI-bAr3I kI dekha-bhAla kara lete the, ArAma aura ImAnadArI se basara karate the / ThAle meM sAhitya kA prema bhI kucha sAtha lagA liyA thA / caina se dina gujara jAte the / " eka roja bole, " pAsa gA~va meM eka terahavIM kI jyonAra hai / calo, tuma bhI calo / " kisI ke marane para terahaveM dina terahIM kara loga khUba khAnepIne aura khilAne-pilAne kA Ayojana kiyA karate haiN| yaha mujhe mAluma thA; para vaisI kisI jyonAra meM nyotA milane para maiM kyA karU~gA, yaha nahIM mAlUma thA! maiMne kahA, "murde kI jyonAra meM jAnA kucha aisA hI-sA lagatA hai / yaha bhI koI aisI bAta hai, jisako jyonAra kA maukA banA liyA jAya ! merA to jAne ko jI nahIM hotA / " lekina mitra ghasITate hue le hI gaye / yaha soca kara ki akelA baiThA maiM gA~va meM kyA karU~gA, maiM bhI khiMca gyaa| siddhAnta maiM chA~Ta sakatA hU~; para duniyA meM unakA bahuta bojha pITha para rakha kara maiM kA jhukA nahIM calatA / ve pror3hane-bichAne ke to kisI kAma Ate nahIM, phira unakA puliMdA kyoM vyartha khIMcate le calane ko sAtha rakkhA jAya / lekina maiMne socA thA, bAhara se nahIM, to bhItara se asahayoga karU~gA / vahA~ carcA cher3agA ki yaha kaisI buddhi-zUnya prathA sAtha

Page #143
jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] lagA rakkhI gaI hai ki murde kA jImana karo! jo jIte haiM, ve murde kI yAda mAna kara hI kyoM khAyeM ? khAne-pIne ke Ayojana ke lie avasara hU~Dhane haiM; to aura parva-tyauhAra kama haiM, jo becAre murde ke nAma para hI hamArI bhUkha TUTa kara par3atI hai ! ghara zoka se bharA hogA; para jImana karane kA dhyAna rakhanA hogA / nahIM rakkhoge, to birAdarI rakhavA legii| aura phira birAdarI vAle pattala para aise TUTa kara gireMge ki... ___ khAnA to khaira maiMne khA liyA / usa samaya to kucha cher3anA ThIka na hotA / ToTA apanA hI rhtaa| lekina, khAnA khAkara jinheM jAnA thA, ve cale gaye aura jinheM baiThanA thA, ve jamakara baiTha gaye, aura hukkA ghUmane lagA, taba maukA dekhakara apane mana ke saMkalpa kI bota maiMne dhIme se nikAla kara bAhara chor3a dI / kahA, "yaha terahI ke jImana kI prathA kucha bahuta acchI to nahIM mAlUma hotii| loga kyoM phijUla kharca karane ke liye aise kusamaya ko maukA banAte haiM ?" usI gA~va ke eka praur3ha-vayaska puruSa ne kahA, "hamane to jagatarAma se bahuta kahA, aisA karane meM kucha phAyadA nahIM hai / jo ho gayA; usa para na to bahuta soca-phikara karanI cAhiye, na Ajakala ina kAmoM meM kharaca karane ke dina haiM / aura bAta bhI kucha aisI na thii| para..." ___maiMne kahA, "logoM ko birAdarI kI phikara rahatI hai| aura phikara na kareM, to jAya khaaN| janma to isI meM gujAranA hai, phira bhI..." __usa vRddhaprAya ne kahA, "nahIM, nhiiN| hama saba logoM ne to bahuta kahI; para usane eka nahIM maanii| hama bhI samajhate haiM, aba dina aise A gaye haiM ki paise para hAtha bhIcanA hotA hai| abhI do mahIne kI bAta hai, apanI mahatArI kI terahIM ke bakhata yaha mAna

Page #144
mAma kA per3a 133 gayA thaa| taba hamane jImana dene kI bAta para jidda nahIM kii| lekina yaha Ama kA per3a kyA thA, mA~ se bhI bar3ha gyaa| aisI per3a kI muhabbata to hamane kahIM nahIM dekhii|" Ama kA per3a ! Ama kA per3a kyA ? merI samajha meM nahIM A skaa| Apa logoM kI samajha meM bhI nahIM AyA hogA / Aye kaise ? hama muhabbata kI jar3a meM sundaratA dekhanA cAhate haiN| vahA~ lAkara rakhane lage koI 'Ama kA per3a', to samajha meM kaise paaye| maiMne pUchA, "Ama kA per3a kaisA ?" una caudharI ne kahA, "kaisA kyA, mAmUlI-sA eka per3a thaa| zrAma bhI kabhI-kabhI detA thA, aura kama detA thaa| aura mIThe bhI kucha aise nahIM hote the / so Aja teraha roja hue gira gyaa| usakA yaha nautA thA / hamane bahuta samajhAyA; para vaha mAnA hI nhiiN| kharca karake hI dama liyA / koI aisA paise-vAlA bhI nahIM hai| aba bolo, jImana nahIM karatA, to kyA jAtA thaa| koI usase kahane jAtA thA ki jIvana kara, yA kyoM nahIM kiyA ? para apane-apane mana kI bAta hai / mana meM jo samA jAya, thodd'aa| isa mana kA hI pAgala hotA hai| aura yaha kyA kama pAgalapana hai / aba bhI use usI kI dhuna rahatI hai / per3a na huA, kyA ho gayA ! bAbUjI, maiM saca kahatA hU~ / per3a vaha kaur3I kAma kA nahIM raha gayA thaa| phala agale sAla bhI de jAtA, to bahuta maano| khokhalA huA khar3A thaa| aba na giratA, do dina bAda girtaa| giranA-giranA to ho hI rahA thA / usa para aisA karanA bAbUjI, to koI samajha kI bAta hai nhiiN|..." vaha puruSa isI taraha bahuta dera taka kahe jAtA, kyoMki jAna par3atA hai, vaha isa jagatarAma ke prati gahare bhAva rakhatA thaa| nahIM to jise jagatarAma kI anasamajhI aura pAgalapana kaha rahA hai, usake sambandha meM itanA ciMtita hone kI use AvazyakatA na thii|

Page #145
234 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] maiMne pUchA, "vaha per3a girA kaise ? usane kahA, "girA to thA, jI, kisI A~dhI ke jhoMke se| aura saca bAta to yaha hai ki usakI Ayu sampUrNa ho gaI, to gira gyaa| aura bhagavAn kI aisI hI marjI hogii| koI cIz2a sadA to jItI nahIM / para jagatarAma samajhatA hai, usane do rAta pahale usakI mauta manAI thI, so usase girA / isI kA to use bar3A soka hai / para hama-tuma kyA karate haiM, saba-kucha Izvara karatA hai, yaha samajhAte haiM, to vaha soka meM kucha nahIM samajha paataa|" maiMne kahA, "usane usakI mauta kyoM manAI thI ?" usane kahA, "mauta kyoM manAI thI, jI, isakA to lambA kissA hai / usa para jhagar3A cala nikalA thA / eka kahatA thA ki yaha AdhA per3a merA hai, merI z2amIna yahA~ taka AI hai / aura vaha kahatA thA ki per3a purAnA ho gayA hai, apane haqa se maiM ise kaTavA DAlU~gA / phala kucha Ate haiM nahIM, lakar3I bahuta-sI kAma kI niklegii| bAta bAbUjI, saba jhUTha thI / per3a puzta-dara-puzta jagatarAma ke hI ghara meM calA A rahA hai / para lAThI pAsa ho, to kisI kI bhaiMsa hera lo / koI bole to lAThI hai hii| so, Aja-kala jabardasta kA saba-kucha hai| adAlata bhI usakI hai, dosta bhI usake haiM, paisA bhI usakA hai| ye saba Apasa meM eka-dUsare ke bana kara rahate haiM / aura usake pAsa per3a nahIM the, so bAta nahIM thii| kaIkaI bArA the / lakar3I kI, aura paise ko kisI bAta kI kamI nahIM thii| para kamI nahIM hotI, tabhI to rAra sUjhatI hai| kAma karanA par3atA nahIM, unheM kahA, "ThAle-baiThe yahI shii| dUsare kI jAna para AtI hai, unheM ThAle-baiThe kA dhandhA ho jAtA hai / so, jagatarAma ko saMzaya nahIM raha gayA ki per3a AdhA usake hAtha meM calA jAyagA, aura vaha use kaTavA DAlegA / per3a ko jIte-jI kaTatA huzrA jagatarAma kaise dekhegA? so, unne manAyA, rAma ise gera de|

Page #146
prAma kA per3a 135 Apa gira jAya, to cAhe saba lakar3I isakI vahI lele| aura, rAma kI karanI do roja bAda vaha per3a sacamuca dharatI para A rahA / sohI unne terahI karI aura aba bar3A baivala ho rahA hai|" maiMne pUchA, "usake ghara meM kauna-kauna haiM ?" usane batAyA, "kauna-kauna kyA, kula do hI to jane haiN| mahatArI mara hI gaI, bahU mara hI gaI / beTI thI, so ava parAye ghara kI hokara Ananda meM hai / jagatarAma hai, aura kirapA hai| kirapA javAna, mehanatI lar3akA hai / bApa kA sahAI hogA aura bApa kA kula calAyagA / kula kA ujAgara hogA-bar3A acchA lar3akA hai / para isa jagatarAma kI mata ko ekadama kyA ho gayA hai ki kirapA ke byAha kI bAta cala rahI thI, so pA~ca-sAta roz2a se usa bAre meM bhI cupa ho baiThA hai| lar3akI vAle bahuta-bahuta kaha rahe haiM; para vaha suna saba letA hai, kahatA apanI eka nahIM / dekho, bahU Aye to ghara, ghara ho jAya / ghara kI Asa to bane / bina gharanI kahIM ghara hotA hai|...aur do roTI kA bhI ThIka ho jaay| para, jagatarAma ke mana jAne kyA samasyA hai ki koI bAta usake jI nahIM aatii|" pUchA, "kyoM, aisI kyA bAta hai ?" __ "...yahI to ki bAta kucha nahIM hai / kahatA hai ki kula to aba ukhar3a gayA, aba nahIM jmegaa| vidhi kA lekha aisA hI hai| mAne baiThA hai ki yaha per3a usake vaMza kA per3a thA / vaha gayA ki vaMza bhI gyaa| AdamI kI mata aisI jar3a ho jAya, to phira usase kyA basa cale / so hI hAla jagatarAma kA hai / kucha kaho, kaisI bhI kaho, usake mana nahIM jamatI / vaha samajhatA hai, jaise vidhi ke mana kI bAta yaha jAnatA hai| Apa, bAbUjI, bane to use smjhaanaa| nahIM to yoM hI bhura-mura ke apane Apako sukhA legA / ..." yaha jagatarAma kisa prakAra apane vaMza kI bhavitavyatA ke

Page #147
136 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga itihAsa kA isa per3a ke astitva ke sAtha aikAtmya sthApita karake mAno apane bhAgya se nipaTArA kiye baiThA hai, yaha maiM kisI taraha bhI spaSTa karake na samajha sakA / yaha dhAraNA kyoMkara usake mana meM phUTakara aura phira vahA~ gaharI jar3eM DAlakara jIvana para aisI chA phailI, ki phira mAno zeSa saba-kucha usakI chAyA ke tale A rahA, usake tale hI palA,-vaha chAyA haTa jAya, to aura saba-kucha bhI murbhA hI jAya ! pitA-putra-paramparA se jagatarAma ke kula ne isa Ama ko bokara, ugAkara, sIMcakara, apane sneha ke AdAna-pradAna dvArA usake jIvana ke sAtha apane bhAvI itihAsa ko mAno bA~dha DAlA thA-vaha Ama kA vRkSa nahIM raha gayA thA, vaha unake vaMza kA vRkSa ho gayA thA / usameM unake bhAgyavidhAyaka vaMza-devatA kA Aropa huA thA ! maiMne jAnanA cAhA, ki kyA vaha, saca, isa per3a ke miTane ko apane vaMza ke lopa hone ke sambandha meM vidhanA kA nirdeza samajhatA hai ? ___mujhe batAyA gayA, ki vaha ThIka yahI samajhatA hai| aura isalie na nirAza hai, na hatAza hai| AzA kA vahA~ ghAta ho, yA vahA~ usakA abhAva akhare, jahA~ vaha ho athavA usakI sambhAvanA ho / jahA~ AzA kA hI avakAza nahIM, vahA~ nirAzA kA bhI duHkha nahIM : usa vRddha ke zabda hI maiM Apako sunaauuN| usane kahA, "vaha samajhatA hai ki per3a gayA, to hameM bhI calanA hai| calanA to, vaha kahatA hai, sabhI ko hai / yaha hamArA bhAgya hai ki calane kI khabara hamako pahale hI laga gii| saba para to paramAtmA aisI dayA nahIM karate ki janA deN| aba itanA to hai ki mana ko pahale se yahA~ ke dhandhoM se khIMca leMge, aura khuzI-khuzI yahA~ se cale jaaeNge| aura dUsaroM ko bhI nahIM phNsaaeNge| kirapA kA byAha kara dete, to eka bicArI lar3akI kA apajasa hamAre sira hotA na / aba khabara

Page #148
prAma kA per3a 137 milane para kisI kI beTI ko duHkha meM DAlane kA kAma nahIM kreNge| aba to hama kisI kI burAI meM nahIM rheNge| hamArA kucha rahA kyA hai, jo kisI ke bure banane aura bure karane kI bAta aaye| saba hamAre aura hama sabake aura hamArA kucha nahIM; kyoMki hama to aba rAmajI ke ho gaye, vahIM hameM jAnA hai|..." aadi| jagatarAma ke sambandha meM isI prakAra kI aura jAnakArI pAte rahanA mujhe bhArI ho rahA thaa| mana para jaise bojha ladA jAtA ho / yaha dRzya kyA sukhakara hai ki mauta ko Age rakhakara eka AdamI usake muMha meM jhukane ke liye mAmUlI DhaMga se apane kadama bar3hAtA huzrA jA rahA hai ? mauta kI jagaha mauta kA khyAla hI sahI, lekina kyA isase dRzya kucha adhika sukhakara ho jAtA hai ? kintu vRddha ke bhItara se jagatarAma ke nAma para aisI gaharI sahAnubhUti kI bhAva-dhArA phUTa par3atI hai ki zabdoM ke ananta apavyaya se bhI vaha kharca nahIM ho sakatI, yaha maiMne jAna liyaa| aura isalie, jisa-tisa taraha japanI mudrA se yaha prakaTa ho jAne diyA ki jagatarAma ke bAre meM itanI hI jAnakArI ko lekara maiM kahIM akelA A~kha mUMda kara jA par3ane kA avasara cAhatA huuN| merA yaha iMgita khoyA na gayA, aura maiM chuTTI pAkara, eka ora eka khATa para leTa gayA, aura socate-socate so gyaaN|" "zAma hone AI aura aba hama jAe~ge / abhyAgatoM meM se adhikatara gA~va ke hI the, ve apane ghara cale gaye haiN| jo aura Asa-pAsa ke gA~voM ke the, ve bhI cale gaye haiN| eka-do aura, aura maiM aura mere mitra, basa itane jane rahe haiN| hama Atithya ke liye AbhArI haiM, gRhasvAmI ko dhanyavAda dekara aura unakI AjJA lekara aba hama loga jAne kI pratIkSA meM haiN|

Page #149
1.38 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] kirapA hamArI hAjarI meM hai, hukke ko ThIka-ThAka karate rahane aura karAte-rahane kA dhyAna rakha rahA hai aura yatna kara rahA hai ki hama loga use apanA dAsa mAna lene meM saMkoca na kareM, aura usake sAtha bekhaTake usI taraha kA vyavahAra kreN| vaha zeSa donoM sajjanoM kA dhanyavAda hAtha jor3akara sAbhAra svIkAra karatA hai, Atithya kI truTiyoM ke lie lajjita aura kSamA-prArthI hai| ThIka taraha se bola bhI nahIM sakatA; kyoMki apanI hInatA aura truTiyoM se avagata hai, aura namaskAra karake aura kucha paga sAtha calakara unako vidA detA hai| kintu hamako vidA vaha nahIM de skegaa| 'pitAjI AyeMge, tabhI hama loga jAne kI icchA aura kRpA kareM, aura use kevala sevaka mAneM'-yaha bhAva kucha TUTe-se zabdoM meM prakaTa karake aura kucha apanI mudrA meM lie raha kara, vaha hamArI upasthiti meM bar3e saMkoca aura sAhasa kA sahArA lekara upasthita hai| mere mitra jamIMdAra haiM, maiM bhI kadAcit unakI nigAha meM sammAnanIya atithi hU~, aura jagatarAma hama logoM ke sAtha kucha rAstA cale binA hameM vidA na de skeNge| 'unakA bar3A saubhAgya hai, aura hama una para kRpA rakheMge aura samaya-samaya para kabhI unake sthAna para padhAra kara unheM Anandita aura dhanya hone kA avasara dene kA kaSTa uThAne kA anugraha kareMge'-yaha nivedana bhI kirapA, jaise-taise hama para prakaTa kara detA hai| ___ jahA~ kI havA sabhyatA se ghuTI rahatI hai, aura jahA~ kA ziSTAcAra adaba-kAyadoM meM itanA pAbanda rahatA hai ki mana se usakA sambandha asambhava ho uThe, usa zahara se TUTakara, mujhe lagA, merA saubhAgya hai ki, maiM yahA~ kI svaccha prakRti aura mukta vAyu meM A sakA aura isa sahaja vinamratA ke darzana kara sakA, jise kartavya aura sabhyatA kI gandha bhI nahIM laga pAI hai| aura jo zrApa hI

Page #150
zrAma kA per3a 139 dUdha ke bhAga ke jharane kI taraha hRdaya meM se phUTa uTha rahI hai| usa samaya vaha bAla- yuvaka mere hRdaya ke nikaTa, mAnoM merA putra hI ho uThA / aura mujhe jAna par3A ki yadi aisI AtmIyatA ke bhAva kA udaya mujha meM isa kSaNa huA hai, to kirapA to apane prakRta snehasikta hRdaya kI zakti se hama sabako apane lie Arambha se hI sage cAcA-tAU - sarIkhe banA sakA hai| maiMne usase kucha bolane ke lie pUchA, "bhAI,, tumhAre pitA kahA~ haiM ? " usane kahA, "Ate hI hoNge| vaha Apase to pala bhI dera nahIM kreNge| para, vaha gAya kA bar3A bachar3A khUba zaitAna ho gayA hai, vahI dera karA rahA hogA |... basa Ate hI hoMge / ...11 isa AtmIyatA ke sAtha binA bhUmikA ke jo bachar3A sAmane lA diyA gayA, vaha Apa hI Apa mere nikaTa paricita bana gayA / eka zaitAna bachar3A kUda - uchala kara rahA hai, khU~Te se ba~dhanA hI nahIM cAhatA, rassI sameta jagatarAma ko bhI khIMcate hue le calane kA dama bharakara idhara-udhara kulA~ceM mAra rahA hai, merI sahAnubhUti ne yaha citra merI A~khoM ke sAmane lA diyA / - maiMne kahA, "bachar3A bar3A zaitAna hai ?" vaha bolA, "ajI, kyA pUcho Apa ? mere hAtha to ba~dhatA hI nahIM, mujhe mArane daur3atA hai / vaha to maiM baca jAtA hU~, nahIM to..." maiMne kahA, "bilakula sapheda hai, mAthe para kAlA - kAlA...." usane kahA, "hA~jI, hA~jI, bilakula... / zrapane kaba dekha liyA ?" maiMne kahA, "dekhA to nahIM, yoM hI kahA / " usane batAyA, "mAthe pai AdhA kAlA cA~da sA bana rahA hai / aura kahIM eka dAga nahIM, kaisA ho / ..." itane meM jagatarAma kA AnA ho gayA /

Page #151
140 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] kirapA ne kahA, "Aja usane phira hairAna karA hogaa|" jagatarAma ne pUchA, "kisane ?" kirapA ne kahA, "ajI, usI ne hariyA ne|" jagatarAma ne zAnta bhAva se kaha diyA,"maiM aura kAma se bArahA huuN|" aura turanta hI hama logoM kI ora mur3a kara dIna-mudrA se kahA, "dera bahuta ho gaI, kAma-pai-kAma Ate gye| aba nibaTa sakA huuN| Apa jAe~ge hI ?...eka rAta raha jAte, to jhoMpar3I...jhoMpar3I hI hai, aura jo hai, ApakI hai|..." jyonAra meM parosate vakta use dekhA thaa| para aba usake usa adbhuta paricaya ko pAne ke bAda jo dekhA, to jAna par3A pahale kucha nahIM dekhA thA / aba to jaise ceharA-moharA nahIM, usa ceharemohare ke bhItara jo hai, usameM se bhI kucha-kucha dIkha rahA thA |maathe ke kinAre Akara bhauMheM bhUla kara chA rahI haiM, aura nIce unake do kAlI sthira A~kheM haiM, jo cIjoM ko aise dekhatI haiM, jaise unake dhAra-pAra bhI kucha dekha rahI haiN| ___ "...Apane takalIpha kI aura maiM kucha kara nahIM skaa| hama gA~va ke Thahare, moTA-moTA khAnA hI jAnate haiM, usI ko bhagavAn kA diyA mAnakara, apane khuza rahate haiM / Apa to...to Apa jAiyegA hI na ? ThIka hai, Apako yahA~ subhItA kyA hogA / ... kirapA, jA, bAbUjI ko do pAna to le A / ..." kirapA ke jAne para batAyA ki kirapA bar3A acchA lar3akA hai, aiMTha to, hA~, thor3I hai / thor3I hekar3I to honI bhI caahie| mujhe burI to laga jAtI hai; para soco to burI lagane kI bAta nahIM hai| neka hekar3I na ho, to zrAdamI jiye kaise / daba-daba ke mara jAya / aura bar3A AjJAkArI hai| aura byAha kI usakI bAta calI thI, so byAha meM kyA ? akelA-dama AdamI ko rahanA acchA,

Page #152
mAma kA per3a 141 jAne kaba cala denA pdd'e| aura jAne, bAbUjI, lambI umara kirapA ko likhI hai yA nhiiN|"...aadi / maiM jagatarAma ko dekhatA rahA / kaha kucha kyA sakatA thaa| yaha vyakti mAno apane ko bisAra kara aura bAhara ke isI-kisI ko lekara jIvana calA rahA hai / usakI apanI alaga duniyA, apanI alaga bAta koI nahIM hai / sabase saba kahatA hai, aura sabakI saba sunatA hai / mAno apane ko sameTa kara isa taraha miTatA-miTatA zUnya hokara saba meM kho rahe isakI taiyArI kara rahA hai| ___ itane meM kirapA pAna le AyA / pAna hamane le liye aura hama calane ko udyata dIkha pdd'e| usane kahA, "caliegA? caliye..." mitra ne kahA, "takalIpha kI z2arUrata kyA hai| rAstA to sIdhA hai, Apa baiThiye / nAhaka hairAna hone kI jarUrata..." hairAnI aura takalIpha ke khyAla kI vyarthatA ko jagatarAma ne jarA dera meM pramANita kara diyA / hama tInoM cala diye| sar3aka lagabhaga sIdhI hI jAtI hai| gA~va se bAhara hokara hama sar3aka para Aye aura usa para ho liye| cupa-cupa cale jA rahe the| maiM jagatarAma ke bAre meM soca rahA thaa| soca rahA thA ki aba ina becAroM ko aura kaSTa nahIM denA caahie| kAfI rAstA A liye| mitra, kyoM na inase lauTa jAne ko kaha deM ? vaha nahIM, to maiM kahU~ ? 'aba kahU~gA, kahatA hI hU~ aba' socatA huA Age bar3ha rahA thA / mere dAyIM tarafa sar3aka ke kinAre ekAdha kadama pIche jagatarAma A rahe the, mitra bAI ora mujha se Age the / mitra bhI jarUra mana meM jagatarAma ko bidA kara dene kI soca rahe hoNge| ki calata-calate sahasA jagatarAma ne merA hAtha pakar3akara kahA, "jI, dekhiye vahA~-usa jagaha thA..." maiM anAyAsa jagatarAma kI uThI huI u~galI kI sIdha meM zUnya dRSTi se dekhane laga gyaa| vahA~ kyA thA, aura usa a~guli

Page #153
142 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] nirdeza dvArA sIdhI tIra kI taraha pheMkI jAtI huI 'vahA~' nAmaka sthAna kI sUcanA ko maiM isa lambe sapATa maidAna meM kisa viziSTa bindu para giratI huI dekhU, yaha kucha bhI na samajhatA huzrA, sIdhA sAmane dekhatA rahA / mitra bhI kucha aisI hI hAlata meM hokara udhara ko dekhate raha gye| "...ThIka vahIM thA, jI / vaha jo choTA-sA babUla dIkhatA hai na, usase jarA bIsa eka qadama idhara, basa, vahIM thA / " aura merA hAtha ekadama chor3akara apane donoM hAthoM kI sahAyatA se mAno apane agale vAkya ko mUrtimAna kara dete hue kahA, "sAba, aisA mIThA phala detA thA ki...! aura eka dAnA yaha-yaha jaMgI!..." kintu thor3I hI dera meM use patA cala gayA ki hama diGmuDha hokara khar3e haiM aura usakI bAteM saba hama para khoI jA rahI haiM / usane kahA, "bAbUjI, caliye, vahIM calakara Apako dikhaauuN| kucha nahIM, yahI koI AdhI pharlAGga jagaha hogI / jyAde dera nahI hogii|" yaha kahakara vaha Age bar3ha liyA / hama bhI haThAt pIche-pIche cle| khetoM kI mer3hoM para jagatarAma ke pIche calata-calate maiMne samajha liyA ki ho-na-ho, yaha usa Ama ke per3a kI hI bAta hai| ___ Adhe phAga ke nAma para koI AdhA mIla calanA par3A / kheta kI mer3a se utarakara pAsa kI baMjara-sI bhUmi kI ora mur3a rahe the ki jagatarAma ne kahA, "aiM! saba saphAI kara dI! dekhA bAbUjI ? AdamI ho, to aisA ho| ginane ko abhI bAraha roz2a hue haiM ki eka chipaTI yahA~ nahIM chor3I, kaisI ho ? merA AnekA maukA to laganA thA nahIM, isa bIca kyA per3a aura kyA per3a kA nizAna, saba saphA ..." hama usa baMjara dharatI meM aagye| kucha jharaberI kI jhAr3iyA~

Page #154
prAma kA per3a 143 phailI thIM aura pAsa hI eka gaharA gaDDhA thA, aura usake kinAre vRkSa kA kaTA huA, jar3a kA tanA par3A thA / naseM sUkha kara usase cipaTa rahI thIM, dhar3a kaTa cukA thA, haDDiyA~ sUkha kara ubhara rahI thiiN| miTTI meM, dhUpa meM, meMha meM, isa khule biyAbAna Usara meM apane purAne lahalahAte dinoM ke smaraNa se khijhAtA huA, mAno usakA kaMkAla par3A ho, mAno bhAgya ne acchI taraha cicor3ane ke bAda apane muMha ke pAsa kA koI kar3A bhAga apanI dAr3ha meM se nikAla kara DAla diyA ho| jagatarAma ko lagA hogA, jaise usake hRdaya meM se khoda kara cetanA ke, dhamaniyoM aura zirAoM ke kendra-rUpa marma ko nikAla kara kATa-kUTa kara use kinAre DAla diyA hai, aura vahA~ gaDDhA chor3a diyA hai / maiMne dekhA ki usa sUne sthAna meM gaDDhe ko dekha-dekha kara A~sU se koI bhArI cIz2a kahIM se uTha kara usakI A~khoM meM aagii| kucha kSaNa bharI A~khoM se vaha dekhatA bhara rahA gayA, jaise usake bhItara kI samasta cetanA uma~ga kara A~khoM meM AI aura vahA~ stabdha ho rhii| phira sa~bhala kara usane kahA, "bAbUjI, lakar3I kI koI bAta nahIM / le hI jAtA; para jarA Thaira jAtA to usakA kucha harja hotA ? mujhe, saca, lakar3I kA kyA karanA thaa| aura le gayA hai to, bhagavAn usakA bhalA kare / vaha AdamI thor3A sabara aura karatA, to merI A~kheM muMdane kA dina bhI kyA dUra raha gayA thaa| basa tabhI taka kA duHkha hai / phira, per3a kaTe, cAhe jo ho|...baabuujii, kucha kaho, per3a maiMne aisA nahIM dekhA / Ama kA per3a koI aisI cIz2a hai, jo kahIM mile nahIM ? para yaha per3a to tIna loka meM nahIM miltaa| yaha-yaha phala detA thaa| mausama meM cAra paise Ama kI jor3I bikatI thii| jo jAnate the, vaha jAnate the| dillI meM pUchate the, 'yaha saralI kA Ama hai ?? saralI kA ho, phira mu~ha mA~ge dAma le lo / saralI isI per3a kA nAma thA, hamAre bAbA ke

Page #155
144 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] bAbA ne boyA thA, unakA nAma bhI saralI thaa| aisA maz2abUta per3a ki Apane bhI kyA dekhA hogaa| yaha anabana kI bAta na ho jAtI, aura merA mana na DUba gayA hotA, to yaha pirale meM giratA to giratA, pahale kyA giranA aura kaisA girnaa| aura chAyA vaha, vaha parale kheta kI meMr3a dIkha rahI hai na, zAma ko usakI chAyA usake bhI pAra phuNctii| Upara se aisA gola gubada kI taraha ch| rahA thA ki kisI ne hAtha se hI aisA banAyA ho| nIce calatA baTohI sustAne ko baiThe. toharA ho jAya,aura dekhatA raha jAya, aura jI phira usakA jAne ko kare hI nahIM, aisI chAyA hotI thii| aura yaha jo yahA~ ugatA kucha nahIM hai, so yahI vajaha hai / dharatI kA sArA rasa khiMca kara usa per3a meM calA jAtA thA, aura cIz2a kucha kaise hotI ? aura tabhI to phala aise mIThe hote the ki vAha !..." isa apanI bahaka meM ekA-eka usane anubhava kiyA, ki usakI bAta-cIta meM atyaMta utsukatA ke sAtha disacaspI lene kA hamAre pAsa paryApta kAraNa nahIM hai / usako zAyada yaha bhI dhyAna AyA ki usane isase pahile hamase usa per3a kA paricaya nahIM karAyA hai, aura isalie usakA Akasmika vizada bakhAna, sambhava ho sakatA hai, hamArI prIti kA kAraNa na bane / usane kahA, "per3a ko Apa nahIM jAnate ? kaise jAneMge ? Aja kI terahIM usI kI thii| yoM terahIM meM kyA rakkhA hai; para mana bhI to koI cIz2a hai| usI ke mAre maiMne Apa ko itanI takalIpha dI, aura phira yahA~ khIMca lAyA / Apa jAe~ge? acchA caliye / vakta bhI taMga ho rahA hai / maiM bhI kaisA bevakUpha hU~ ! udhara se nahIM, idhara se AjAiye, sIdhI sar3aka mila jaaygii|" ___ aura sIdhI sar3aka mila gaI, aura sar3aka milane para bhArI hRdaya se hama logoM ne eka dUsare se vidA lii|"

Page #156
grAma kA per3a : 4 : ?" premakRSNa ne kahA, "phira kyA huA pramoda ne kahA, "mujhe kyA mAlUma, phira kyA huA / " prema - "vaha aba jItA hai yA nahIM aura kRpA kA kyA hAla 0 hai ?" 145 pramoda - " maiM phira udhara gayA hI nahIM, na patA lagAyA / " prema - " to yaha kyA bAta huI ? tuma samajhate ho ki vaha mara gaye hoMge ?" pro0 vidyAratna ne kahA, "to isase kyA sAbita huA ? isase kucha bhI sAbita nahIM hotA / " pramoda ne kahA, "bAta vezaka kucha nahIM huii| aura maiM samajhatA hU~, kRpA aura jagatarAma donoM jIte hoNge|" phira vidyAratna kI ora mur3akara kahA, " sAbita kyA huA ? kyA saba kucha sAbita hI honA cAhiye ? yaha sAbita kA roga Ajakala phaizanebala hotA jA rahA hai, sAbita karo, sAbita kro| sira ko sadA sAbita karane aura karavAne meM lagAyA jAtA hai, usa sira bicAre se isalie kucha bhI aura acchA kAma nahIM ho pAtA / 'tarka karo, sAbita karo, nahIM to maiM tarka se siddha karatA hU~, zAstrArtha karake dekha lo ' tuma buddhimAnoM ne Aja yaha kaila macA rakkhA hai / mujhe bhI kyoM lAlaca dekara usameM pha~sAnA cAhate ho ? yahI hAla rahA, to eka dina hogA ki loga kaheMge ki sAbita karo, hama gadhe nahIM haiM / sAbita nahIM kara pAoge, to ve gadhe bana jAe~ge / ... bhaI, maiM kaba kahatA hU~, kucha sAbita ho gayA..." vidyA ne kahA, " to kaho, tumane basa eka kahAnI kahI hai| yoM hI basa luka ke lie / " pramoda ne kahA, "hA~, maiMne hA~, basa Ananda ke lie / " eka kahAnI kahI hai / aura, aura, aura phira pramoda bilakula cupa hokara baiTha rahA /

Page #157
kazmIra-pravAsa ke do anubhava san 1627 kI bAta hai / taba rAjanItika vAtAvaraNa meM karmaNyatA aura pracaNDatA vaisI nahIM thii| gA~dhI kI bAta ko gale se utAra kara usa samaya yaha bhArata deza alasa-nimagna bhAva se, cupacApa pacAne kI kriyA kara rahA thaa| rAjanIti-grasta vyaktiyoM ko apane jIvana ke aura pahaluoM ko sa~vArane aura sa~bhAlane kA usa samaya acchA suyoga prApta ho gyaa| kucha ne usa suyoga se, apanI caturAI ke bala para pracura lAbha uThA liyA / ve apane ko kucha banAkara baiThe rahe-cAhe lauTa kara phira rAjanIti meM hI baiThe hoM, yA idhara-udhara haTakara samAjanIti meM, 'bAra' meM, vyavasAya meM yA sarakAra kI kisI kursI meM baiThe hoM ! aura jo cUke, so cuuke| ____ mahAtmA...jI ko taba eka prayoga kI suujhii| sUjhI to pahale bhI hogI; para raha-raha gaI hogii| san' 10 meM unake jIvana ke vikAsa-krama ko eka viziSTa dizA milI / san' 18 taka avyAbAdha gati se vaha usI dizA para unnata hotA rahA / dhArmika cetanA meM se vaha vikAsa udbhUta huA thA / tyAgamaya usakA rUpa thA, AdhyA 146

Page #158
147 kazmIra-pravAsa ke do anubhava tmikatA usakI prakRti thii| usa dizA para cala par3ane para vaise prayoga kI bAta jIvana meM pAnI anivArya hI thii| san' 18-16 ke garamAgarama kAla meM vaha vikAsa rAjanIti kI paTarI para A rahA / paristhitiyA~ kucha aisI hI anukUla milatI calI gii| yahA~ para yaha kahanA nitAnta nirdhAnta na hogA, ki jo hama khilaunoM ko calAtA-bhagAtA hai, usa madArI lAinsa-maina kI kucha cUka hI huI ki gAr3I yoM galata 'zaMTa' hokara anupayukta paTarI para cala pdd'ii| bAta yaha hai, ki hameM saba-kucha cUka laga sakatA hai, hotA saba-kucha ThIka hai / yahI kahane ko jI cAhatA hai ki vAstava meM isa prakAra rAjanIti para cala par3ane se usa maulika vikAsa kI svAbhAvikatA meM aura saralatA meM vyatireka aura vyAghAta nahIM par3A, varan vaha to adhikAdhika spaSTa aura sampanna hotA hI calA gyaa| yaha jela, vaha jela, san' 18 ke Arambha se lagAkara kaI varSoM taka basa yaha hAla rahA / isa taraha jo bAta mana meM pahale bhI uThauTha cukI hogI, use anubhava meM utAra dekhane kA avakAza aba kahIM san' 27 meM aayaa| isase pahile kucha aura socane-karane kI guJjAyaza nahIM nikala skii| 12: mujhe tAra milA, ki amuka dina dillI pahuMca rahA huuN| rAvalapiMDI jAnA hai| do aura sAtha haiM / sTezana para milo| ___ rAvalapiMDI se kazmIra rAstA jAtA hai, yaha mujhe turanta yAda A gayA / kazmIra kI bhUkha jI meM thI hI / mana ne kucha yaha bhI kahA, ki ho-na-ho mahAtmAjI kazmIra hI jA rahe hoMge / jaba taka mahAtmAjI yahA~ pahu~ce, taba taka rAvalapiMDI jAne kA kAraNa aura kAma mere sAtha bhI nikala aathaa| sTezana para maiM unheM milA aura

Page #159
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] sAmAna ke sAtha milA, aura unake sAtha hI rAvalapiMDI ke liye savAra ho liyaa| ___ unake sAtha mere mitra ambulakara the, aura eka tAjA grejueTa the| yA yaha kahanA ThIka hogA, ki unakI tAz2agI niSpanna hone meM hI A rahI thii| kAleja kI DAla se TUTakara duniyA ke mola-tola ke bAjAra meM jA pahu~cane meM unheM kucha kasara thI-rijalTa abhI nahIM AyA thA / abhI taka dharatI se bahuta U~ce rahakara DAla meM lage-lage hI unhoMne sUraja kI dhUpa aura havA kI loriyA~ khAI thIM; lekina jaba zikSA ke rasa se bharakara paka uTheMge, taba DAla unheM usa taraha apane Upara dhAraNa nahIM rakha sakegI, taba unheM girakara dharatI para hI A rahanA hogaa| vaha vahIM the, jahA~ ki svapna tor3anA hotA hai, aura socanA hotA hai-'dharatI para aba Aye, aba aaye|' parIkSA ke bAda kI chuTTiyA~ bitAne, vaha bhI mahAtmAjI ke sAtha ho liye the| dUsare mitra adbhuta the / hada ke phakkar3a / saMkaTa ke samaya Age, yoM bepatA / bahuta acchA gAte the| AvAz2a aisI thI, ki bar3I pyaarii| dhokhA kabhI na detI thI / asahayoga ke dinoM meM phortha-Iyara se par3hanA chor3a diyA thA / a~garez2I behicaka bolate the, aura haradama naMge pairoM para jA~ghiyA pahane rahate the| Upara kamIz2a huI-huI, na huI na huI / asahayoMga meM par3akara asahayoga ke ho rahe / ghara-bAra jaisI bhI koI vastu hotI hai, isakA dhyAna hI na uThatA / jo milA usI ko pAkara khuza, na milA, to aura bhI khuza / gusse kI bAta para kabhI gussA na hote the, hote the, te bebAta yoM-hI ho lete the / aura phira gussA thA ki rAma-rAma hindI jo marAThI banAkara bolate the, yA marAThI ko hindI banAkara kahanA kaThina hai; para cIz2a vaha ajIba hotI thii| para kaha baiThiye ki hindI pUrI muhAvaredAra nahIM huI, to samajhiye, pUrI zAma

Page #160
kazmIra-pravAsa ke do anubhava bulA lI / 'tumhI batAo nahIM to hindI kyA hotI hai ?' unakI hindI kI dhAka mAne binA gujArA nahIM / yoM sadA kahate rahate, ki mujhe hindI sikhA do, hindI sikhA do| mahAtmAjI ke pakke sAthI banakara vaha Aye the / jIvana-bhara himAlaya ke hima aura vana meM hI raha jAne kI bAta Aye, to usake liye bhI udyata / 'embizana' nAmaka vastu se unakA paricaya purAnA ho gayA aura usa zaharAtina se aisI pakkI chuTTI le baiThe the, ki use uThane kI himmata na hotI thii| bhItara kahIM thI bhI, to murbhAI, bejAna par3I thii| inake bhItara rahakara vaha bhUkhI maratI thii| ___ mahAtmAjI aura inake bIca hI kucha taya pAyA thA, aura isa yAtrA kA sUtra-pAta huA thaa| rela meM mujhe patA calA, ki jA kazmIra hI rahe haiM; para bAta jarA Ter3hI hai / rAvalapiMDI se rela chUTa jAyagI, aura kisI savArI ke Asare kI kalpanA ko bhI pare rakhanA hogA, aura phira paidala kandhe para sAmAna rakhakara calanA hogaa| mere sAtha TraMka-veDiMga thaa| maiMne batAnA prArambha kiyA, ki kisa taraha pITha para sAmAna lAdakara calanA bahuta sundara dRzya upasthita na kregaa| isa taraha lauTakara pITha ko sAbita hI pAne kA bharosA bhI pUrA nahIM hai, aura yaha, ki yaha saba-kucha nitAnta akalpanIya dhAraNA hai| para akalpanIya ho, kucha ho, sAtha calanA ho, to maiM vaise sAtha calane ko taiyAra ho jAU~, nahIM to apanA rAstA dekhU aura mauja kruu| aura isa prakAra mujhe sampUrNa svAtaMtrya dekara ve tInoM mujha para ha~sane lge| maiMne mana meM samajha liyA ki inakI yaha ha~sI mujha se nahIM

Page #161
150 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] lI jAyagI, aura maiMne kahA, "acchI bAta hai / rAvalapiMDI to phuNce| vahA~ jAkara phira Age kI dekhI jAyagI / " * yahA~ para mujhe mahAtmAjI ke manasUbe bhI mAlUma ho gaye the / itanA hI nahIM thA, ki vaha kazmIra paidala jAe~ge / jAte-jAte vaha paisA bhI chor3a deNge| phira be-paise calanA hogaa| bhIkha meM roTI mila gaI, to; nahIM mila gaI, to / do-eka mahIne kazmIra meM rahakara, rAha ThIka mila jAnI cAhiye, phira pahAr3a hI pahAr3a bhArata ke usa kone sikima dArjIliMga taka jAe~ge / aura yoM hI vicareMge / jana-samAja kA samparka, jo jIvana-yApana kI AvazyakasI zarta bana gaI hai, dekheMge, ki vaha kyoM na anAvazyaka siddha ho jAya; aura logoM se dUra, himAlaya kI goda meM, hariyAlI se ghira kara, madhukarI pAlakara, sarvathA nissaMgI aura ekAkI rahakara kyoM na jIvana kI sampUrNatA upalabdha kI jA sake ? - ina manasUboM se maiM Darane ke sivAya kucha nahIM kara sakatA thA / maiM kaise isa saba meM mahAtmAjI kA sAtha de sakU~gA / vaha grejueTa sajjana isa samaya merI yukti kA sAdhana bane / jaba Upara kI bAta huI, taba unhoMne kahA, "Apa jahA~ cAheM, jAiye / zrInagara taka to hama sAtha haiM, vahA~ se lauTa Ae~ge / hama to kazmIra dekhane cala rahe haiM / " maiMne kucha kahA nahIM; lekina maiMne soca liyA, isI taraha kI rAha mere liye bhI nikala sakatI hai| mahAtmAjI kI ora se chuTTI thI hI ki jahA~ se jo cAhe, lauTa zraye / aura lauTane kI bAta kI AzaMkA hamIM donoM taka thI / ambulakara kI nigAha meM lauTanA kucha cIja hI nahIM hai| jo kucha hai, Age calanA hai, lauTanA bhI eka taraha kA Age calanA hI hai| 'aba hotA nahIM, calo, lauTo / ' - ambulakara kA lauTanA aisA nahIM hotA; isalie lauTakara bhI vaha Age hI bar3hatA hai|

Page #162
151 kazmIra-pravAsa ke do anubhava Akhira, rAvalapiMDI A gayA / aura una logoM ko acaraja huA, jaba apanA parigraha jisa kisI ko sauMpakara jarUrI kapar3A apanI kamara se kasakara maiM bhI una logoM ke sAtha cala par3ane ko taiyAra ho gyaa| hama cala pdd'e| kucha ghaTanAe~ aisI ghaTa jAtI haiM, ki unheM saMyoga kaha dene se jI ko tRpti nahIM hotI / saMyoga ke atirikta unheM aura kucha kahane kA sAhasa bhI kaise ho ? buddhi vahA~ Akara ruka jAtI hai, aura unase TakarAkara sunna hokara baiTha rahatI hai| Age usake lie dharatI nahIM, rAha nahIM, gati nahIM / kucha bhI cInha pAne kA Age subhItA nahIM-basa Upara, nIce, bhItara, cAroM ora se hameM ghera kara jo mahAzUnya aTala rUpa meM avasthita hai, khokhalA, nirbhedya, phira-phirakara dIvAra-banA huA-sA vahI vaha hamAre sAmane A rahatA hai / aura usake nIle tala para, hamArI A~khoM kI sIdha meM, A ThaharatI haiM, ve ghaTanAe~, jo vyaMga aura bheda kI ha~sI meM camaka-camakakara mAno pUchatI haiM, 'batAo to bhalA, hama kyA haiM,kauna haiM ?' usa samaya usa ajJAta ke taTa para khar3e hokara jI hotA hai, hama usake ananta garbha kI nIlimA meM A~kheM phAr3a-phAr3akara kucha dekhane kI spardhA meM andhe kyA baneM, kyoM nahIM hama A~kha mUMdakara ghuTanoM A baiThe, do bU~da A~sU Dhara jAne deM aura gadgad kaNTha se guhAra deM, 'he ajJAta, tU hI hai| hama saba aura hamArA samasta jJAta tere garbha meM hai, aura tU usase pare hai, ajJAta hai / tU jJAta nahIM hai, isame tU hI hai, tU hI satya hai / maiM tujhameM, terI zaraNa meM huuN|' Age aisI hI do ghaTanAoM kA ullekha kareMge, jo kazmIrapravAsa meM hamAre sAtha atakye rUpa meM ghaTa gii|

Page #163
152 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] :4: gulamarga zrInagara se koI paccIsa mIla hai| bar3I lubhAvanI jagaha hai / sampanna aura jAnakAra paryaTanArthI kazmIra Akara vahIM rahate haiN| jaba zrInagara tapatA hai, taba Apa barpha pA sakate haiN| 1000 phITa U~cAI hai / yaha kadAcit bhArata kA sabase U~cA svAsthya-sthala hai| hama loga vahA~ phuNce| unnata zaila-zRMgoM se ghirA huA pahAr3I goda meM gulamarga aisA basA hai, mAno hare done meM sapheda phUla bikhare hoM / bhUre-bhUre, chitare hue kucha makAna haiM, bIca-bIca meM hare lAna haiN| pahAr3a ke zIrSa para mAno eka aMjali banI hai, usa aMjali kI hathelI meM manuSya nAmaka kucha prANI baserA DAlakara khela rahe haiM; aura yaha mahAkAya himAcala, apanI aMjali ko isI prakAra aparisIma AkAza ke sammukha arghya se bharI liye rahakara, mAno usakI svIkRti kI pratIkSA meM ananta kAla se yoM avasanna par3A hai| ___ hama cAra akiMcana vahA~ pahu~ce / sAdhu the; para sAdhu nahIM the| sAdhutva ke vijJAna aura vyavasAya se atyanta aparicita the| kucha dakSa sAdhu bhI hamAre dekhane meM Aye, jo candana kI pAdukA aura kevala pazmInA aura rezama ke vasana hI dhAraNa kara sakate the| mukhamaNDala unakA teja aura tela se dIpta rahatA thA aura vaha sadA bhakta-maNDalI se ghire rahate the; para hama isa hunara se kore the / vastra kASAya kara lene kI cintA bhI hamane nahIM kI thI / na hamArA paridhAna atyanta ujjvala thaa| .. phira bhI, na jAne ghor3e vAloM ne kyA samajha liyA, ki jaba hama kahIM se kucha pAkara eka devAlaya ke barAmade meM apanI kSudhA zAnta karane meM lage the, ki unake jhuNDa-ke-muNDa hamAre sAmane

Page #164
153 kazmIra-pravAsa ke do anubhava Akara dharanA dekara khar3e ho gye| aneka svara eka sAtha kahane lage, "bAbA khelanamarga calegA ? hama le jAyagA,hamArA ghor3A..." aura saba-ke-saba apane-apane ghor3e kI saviziSTa pAtratA kA bakhAna karane lge| __gulamarga se tIna mIla aura Upara jAne para himAcchAdita giri-zRMga AtA thaa| usI kA nAma khelanamarga thaa| jo gulamarga AtA, khelanamarga dekhatA hI thA / aise kisI naye yAtrI kI bATa dekhate yaha loga baiThe rahate the, aura usako apane ghor3e para gulamarga pahu~cA kara jo pAte the, usa para peTa pAlate the| una logoM kA apane-apane ghor3oM ke bAre meM utsAha aura vizvAsa aura prazaMsA kA pradarzana usa samaya hameM kucha bahuta dilacaspI kA viSaya nahIM jAna pdd'aa| halkI-sI unheM TAla dene kI ceSTA karake hama apanI kSudhA-tRpti meM saMlagna rahe / hamArI usa ceSTA se una logoM ke dharane meM koI zithilatA nahIM AI, varan kucha kar3AI hI AI; kyoMki unheM hamArI ceSTA meM se itanA hI bhAvArtha prApta huA, ki hameM unakI mA~ga ke sambandha meM kucha vaktavya hai| ve vizvasanIyatA aura pAtratA ke pramANa-svarUpa apanI-apanI chAtI Thokate hue aura taraha-taraha ke lobhanIya vAkya kahate hue sAmane hI DaTe rhe| __taba kyA hameM yaha bhUla calA, ki hama kaur3I-vihIna hokara vahA~ bhikSAnna prApta kara rahe haiM aura jIna-car3he kase hue taiyAra ghor3esavArI kA jo sAnurodha aura sAneka svara AmavaNa hameM diyA jA rahA hai vaha hamAre kisI prakAra ke bhI sarokAra kI vastu nahIM honI cAhiye ? taba kyA hameM yaha kaThina jAna par3A, ki ina dIna ghor3e vAloM ke sAmane jAkara hama yaha ghoSaNA kareM, ki hama tumase bhI dIna haiM aura tA~be ke eka paise kA subhItA bhI hamAre pAsa isa samaya

Page #165
154 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] nahIM hai; isalie tuma loga jaao| usa samaya aura kyA bAta huI-kahanA kaThina hai| usa samudAya ko sAmane pAkara hama nIcI A~kha karake bhojanasamApti kI saMlagnatA ko aTUTa banA rahane dene meM dattacitta ho rhe| ___maiM isase pahile kabhI ghor3e para nahIM baiThA thaa| mere mana meM ho rahA thA, ki agara ghor3e para baiThane kI naubata hI A gaI, to apanI to bar3I bhadda hogii| mana meM yaha khatarA thA, ki saca, vaha maukA sAmane hI kahIM na zrA jAya / kucha yaha bhI thA ki, ghor3e para abhI taka baiThe nahIM haiM, jAne ghor3e kI savArI kaisI hotI hai / maiMne kahA, "mahAtmAjI, ghor3e kara leM, to bar3A acchA ho...kara bhI liijiye|" ambulakara bacapana meM khUba ghor3e kI savArI kara cukA hai, aura use una dinoM kA Ananda khUba yAda hai| usane kahA, "hA~ mahAtmAjI, kara liijiye|" tIsare mitra ke samarthana karane kI ceSTA vyartha gaI; kyoMki mahAtmAjI ne A~kha Upara uThAkara ghor3evAloM se pUchA, "eka ghor3e kA kyA loge ?" "eka rupayA...." bahuta se svaroM ne yaha kahA aura sabane yaha jatalAnA prArambha kara diyA, ki yahI ba~dhA reTa hai| isameM pUchatAcha, kama-bar3ha ho hI nahIM sktii| __mahAtmAjI ne kaha diyA, "tIna rupaye meM cAra ghor3e lAnA ho, to le aao|" aura ve tIna rupaye meM cAra ghor3e lAne kI bAta kI asambhavatA aura anupayuktatA para kucha udgAra prakaTa karane ke bAda anta meM lar3ate-jhagar3ate vidA hue| aura kucha hI minaToM meM cAra zrAdamI cAra kase ghor3e lAkara sAmane upasthita ho gye|

Page #166
kazmIra-pravAsa ke do anubhava aba to ghor3e A hI gaye ! ugalI bAta ko nigalA to nahIM jA sktaa| mahAtmAjI ne gambhIra bhAva se kahA, "yahA~ le Ao, idhara / "aura jaba barAmade ke cabUtare ke sAtha hI ve ghor3e A lage, taba hamase kahA, "calo, baittho|" hamArI zaMkitacittatA ko unhoMne dekha diyA aura kucha muskarAkara kahA, "calo; baiTho bhii| hama cAroM jane bArI-bArI se eka-eka ghor3e para baiTha gye|" ___ baiTha to gaye; para majA kahA~ / sphUrti kA patA nhiiN| jaise kaidI banakara jA rahe haiM / mana meM utsAha kI jagaha aAzaMkA thii| ghor3oM para jaise hama nahIM baiThe the, hamArA bojha ladA thaa| hamAre bojha ke nIce ve ghor3e bhI sira jhukAye khuTTa-khuTTa cala rahe the| 'jA to rahe haiM; para phira hogA kyA'- yahI vicAra hamArI cetanA para jAkara baiTha gayA, jaise koI viSAkta gaisa hamAre bhItara phailakara chA baiThI ho / hamArA Ananda sunna ho gyaa| ____ aba bolo, hama para kyA zrAfata thI ? sabakA jimmA lekara jaba mahAtmAjI ne saba-kucha kiyA aura usakA bojha bhI vaha uThAyeMge aura uThAne ko taiyAra haiM, taba hamase kyA itanA bhI nahIM ho sakatA ki vyartha bahuta cintA ke nIce hama na piseM ? lekina jaba dekhate haiM, to pAte haiM, mahAtmAjI ke cehare para koI vaisA trAsa kA bhAva nahIM hai, vaha sAdhAraNataH nizcinta praphulla se hI dIkha par3ate haiN| mujhe lagA jaise mahAtmAjI yaha acchA nahIM kara rahe haiN| Aphata bulAI, aura aba usakI tarapha pITha karake use dekhanA nahIM cAha rahe haiM, aura ha~sa rahe haiN| usa Aphata kI tarapha pUrI taraha dekhane se hama kaise inkAra kara sakate haiM ! . apanI dRSTi se yaha bAta hamane mahAtmAjI se bahuta spaSTatA se khii| kahA, "mahAtmAjI, kyA hogA ?" mahAtmAjI ne kucha muskarAkara hI kahA, "bhAI, jo ho gayA, so ho gyaa| aura, jo hogA so ho jaaygaa|..."

Page #167
jainena kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] aura jaba unhoMne dekhA ki isa gahana tAtvika tathya ke pratipAdana se hamAre citta ko samAdhAna jaisI koI vastu nahIM prApta hotI, taba jor3A, "acchA, aba to cale clo| pIche dekheMge / dekhane kA kAma aba to pIche hI ho sakatA hai / na huA, kisI se mA~ga- mU~gakara de deNge| tIna rupaye kI hI to bAta hai / " hama cale to cale; para zaMkA hamArI kahIM jAtI na thI / hamAre yaha acchI taraha samajha lene para bhI sthiti meM kucha vizeSa sudhAra na huA ki zaMkA ko bhItara majabUtI se baiThA lene se hAtha kucha nahIM AtA, kevala ghor3e kI pITha para se lur3haka par3ane kI sambhAvanA meM dhikya hotA hai| 156 Ubar3a-khAbar3a, kahIM gaDDhA, kahIM tIna-tIna phITa ubhare hue patthara, yahA~ kIcar3a, vahA~ rapaTana, idhara cIr3a ke darakhta kI uThakara Ter3hI-mer3hI jAtI huI phailI jar3eM, udhara aura kucha - lar3akhar3Ate aura sa~bhalate hue hamAre ghor3e ina sabako pAra karake Age bar3hate rahe aura una para lade hue hama adada bhI Age Ate rahe / sAmane hamAre himAcchAdita uttuMga zaila, idhara pAtAla meM pahu~catI huI ghATI, udhara sIdhA jAtA huA pahAr3a, sa~kar3I-se-sa~kar3I rAha, aura isa saba ke bAda hamAre manoM para chAI huI viSama AzaMkA - ina sabakI upasthiti meM hama gaTharI bane hue padArtha khelanamarga aura prabhu kI kRpA ke nikaTa pahu~ca rahe the / car3hAI samApta kara hama maidAna meM Aye / choTI-choTI ghAsa hai / hare dhAna ke raMga kI, jo yahA~ se vahA~ taka phailI hai| unake bIca meM khUba atizayatA se uga uThakara khila-bhUma rahe haiM, raMga-raMga ke phUla, - dhAnI sAr3I para raMga-raMga kI mAno ye bundiyA~ haiM / aura isake pAra eka hI pharlAMga para uThakara AkAza meM car3hA jA rahA hai vaha barpha kA stUpa jo dhUpa ke sparza se ujjvala hokara jhakamakA rahA hai, aura jisa para dUra se A~kha ThaharanA muzkila hai / bAdala abhI

Page #168
157 kazmIra-pravAsa ke do anubhava Ate haiM, aura do phuhAra ha~sakara abhI bhAga jAte haiN| abhI cupake se kahIM se Akara sUraja kI A~kha mUMda lete haiM, aura abhI chana meM chor3a dete haiM, aura sUraja phira khilakhilA uThatA hai / behada bArIka dhunI huI ruI ke gAle se bAdala ur3a-ur3akara hamAre cAroM ora phaile haiM, hamako chU-chUkara bhAga jAte haiM, aura hameM Ardra-sA kara jAte haiM / vaha udhara gAya cara rahI hai, cugakara muMha Upara uThAtI hai, cAroM ora dekhatI hai aura santoSa ko sA~sa letI hai-vaha sA~sa nathanoM se nikalakara bhApa banA huA kaisA vilIna hotA huA dIkha par3atA hai| ____yahA~ Akara haThAt hama prakRti ke isa virATa aura mauna samAroha meM tanmaya ho gye| citta kI zaMkA hama para se na jAne kaba khisaka gaI aura bhAga gaI / citta khilakara jAne kisase bhara gayA, ki aura kucha rahA hI nahIM, saba apanA-hI-apanA ho gayA / ye ghor3e-vAle hamAre sambandha meM kisI prakAra ke lenadAra hai-citta meM isa cetanA ke liye jaise sthAna na rhaa| ve usake nikaTa apane hI bana utthe| ___ ambulakara ne kahA, "dekho, vaha bAdala ke pillU ! kaise cipaTe jA rahe haiM !" ___ hama ha~sa pdd'e| maiMne kahA, "pillU nahIM, pille kaho / kaise kutiyA ke pilloM kI taraha, gulagule, mAno ku-ku-hu~-oN karate hue, eka dUsare meM khoye jA rahe haiM !" ___ ambulakara ne kahA, "nahIM jI, pille nahIM haiM, hamAre pillU haiN| pillU haiM, pille kaise ho sakate haiN|" . hamako mAnanA par3A ki bAdala ke baccoM ko pillU hI kahate haiN| ye choTe-choTe, hote to saca, bar3e memane se haiN| abhI acchI taraha dIkha rahe haiM, ki chana meM jAne kahA~ gAyaba! hama zIghratA karake apane-apane ghor3oM para se kUdakara kilakArI

Page #169
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga mArate hue bhAga cale / ghor3e jhaTa usa harita-komala ghAsa se apane bhUkhe mukha kA abhinna sambandha sthApita kara saMtRpta hue / hamane jI-tor3a daur3a lagAI / dekhanA thA ki barapha taka pahale kauna pahu~catA hai| lekina ambulakara, ambulakara hai / sabase Age pahu~cakara barapha para paira rakhatA hai ki galA phAr3akara kilakI mAratA hai, "mahAtmAjI !..." pIche-hI-pIche hama the / hamane kahA, "kyA huA ?" itane meM hI usane dUsarI bAra cillAne kA maukA nikAla liyA, "mahAtmAjI!" mahAtmAjI pIche maje-maje meM cale A rahe the| bole, " kyA hai ?..." ambulakara ne uchalakara aura cillAkara kahA, "mahAtmAjI ! jaldI Aiye, bhAga ke !...." taba taka hama donoM bhI pahu~ca gaye the / hamane usase bhI adhika uchalakara isa mA~ga kA samarthana kiyaa| kahA, "mahAtmAjI, bhAgakara aaiye|" mahAtmAjI Aye aura hamane unheM dikhAyA tIna naye kore rupaye acaka-ke-acaka barapha ke kinAre para alaga-alaga citta aise rakhe the, jaise hamArI bATa hI johate hoN| mahAtmAjI ne kahA, "acchA !" aura hama usa barapha ke pahAr3a ke sAtha taraha-taraha kI zarArata macAne lge| dUsarI ghaTanA yoM huii|

Page #170
kazmIra-pravAsa ke do anubhava 159 zrAvaNa meM zrInagara se eka char3I kI yAtrA uThatI hai / vaha amaranAtha jAtI hai| amaranAtha eka tIrtha-dhAma hai| usakA bar3A mAhAtmya hai| eka khAsA melA-kA-melA calatA hai| rAjya kI ora se aura samitiyoM kI ora se prabandha rahatA hai| mele meM AdhI saMkhyA sAdhuoM kI rahatI hai, aura Adhe meM zeSa saba rahate haiN| isa samaya taka hama tIna hI raha gaye the| grejueTa mitra tAra se rupayA ma~gAkara bahuta pahale ho ghara jA cuke the| hama tIna eka mahanta kI sAdhu-maNDalI meM milakara char3I ke sAtha uTha liye| ___ char3I kyA vastu hai, aura sAdhu kyA padArtha haiM, isake varNana aura vivecana kA yahA~ avakAza nhiiN| ___ kazmIra kezara ke lie mazahUra hai| saMgha ke nirdhArita yAtrAmArga se tanika haTakara kezara kI kyAriyoM ke lie pAmapura hote hue bhI yadi hama zIghratA kareM to char3I ko anantanAga meM pakar3a sakate haiM, "yaha hamane dekhA / kezara kI kRSi dekhane kI utkaNThA thI hii| phira patA calA, idhara hI eka gaMdhaka kA cazmA bhI hai, aura pAsa hI hai eka jvAlAdevI kA mndir| donoM hI cIjeM darzanIya haiN| gaMdhaka ke cazme meM sApha svaccha, nirmala jala hai; para gaMdhaka kI bAsa se basA huaa| pAMsa khar3A honA kaThina hai| aura jvAlAdevI eka mandira hai, jahA~ pahAr3a kI coTI para eka gaharA chidra hai| kabhIkabhI vahA~ se jvAlA kI lapaTeM nikalatI dIkha par3I thiiN| aba bhI devI jvAlA ke rUpa meM usameM se prakaTa hokara darzana detI haiM, aisA pracalita vizvAsa hai / usI chidra aura usI vizvAsa para mandira kA nirmANa huA hai| .

Page #171
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] ___ bar3e tar3ake uThakara cazme meM snAna karate hue hama nau-dasa baje ke lagabhaga jvAlAdevI pahu~ca gaye / sthAna atyanta suramya hai / pAsa hI ghanI parvatamAlA hai, aura mandira ke caraNoM meM hai-khiU nAmaka bastI / vanaspati ke vaibhava ke darzana ke lie isa sthAna ko Adarza samajhiye / pAsa hI se gahana vana Arambha ho jAtA hai, jahA~ jagahajagaha zikAragAha bane haiN| vana meM acchA zikAra milatA hai| hama mandira ke bAhara Akara cAroM ora phailI prakRti kI sulalita zrI kI bahAra lete rahe / ambulakara ne tAna chedd'ii| aise vAtAvaraNa meM usake svAbhAvika madhura kaNTha meM na jAne kyA, kucha aura vastu A milatI thii| taba usakA svara laharAtA huA osa kI nAIM jI para chAkara mAnoM ArdratA kI halkI-halkI phuhAra chor3ane lagA / hama vibhora ho rahe / kintu dera hote-hote hameM yaha mAlUma ho gayA ki isI taraha se dina nahIM bIta jaaygaa| peTa meM bhI kucha DAlanA hI cAhiye / aura isake lie isa svarga se hameM utara kara nIce dharatI para base gA~va meM pahu~cakara kucha ceSTA bhI karanI hI hogii| nIce utara kara gA~va kI kIca-bharI galI ko pAra karatekarate, mAnane lage, ki kaba kisa bhale-mAnasa kI kRpA Apa hI hameM hU~Dhakara hama para A barase; para yaha hotA na dIkhA, aura Aja ke lie ThIka-ThikAnA banAne ke lie hamane ambulakara ko niyukta kiyaa| __Age do sambhrAnta sajjana Ate dikhalAI par3e / hicaka se ambulakara ko sarokAra nahIM / Age bar3hakara usane kahA, "mahArAja, hama tIna mUrti haiM......" ___ AdamI isa sAdhuoM kI paribhASika zabdAvalI ke cakkara meM par3akara mUrti bana jAte haiM, aura isI prakAra ke aura kyA hera-phera ho jAte haiM-yaha hamane kAma calAne lAyaka rUpa meM jAna liyA thA /

Page #172
161 kazmIra-pravAsa. ke do anubhava ve sajjana isa prakAra ke puNya kI khoja meM hI the| unake yahA~ Aja varSagA~Tha kA utsava thA, aura aba isIliye bAhara nikale the ki kucha satpAtra atithiyoM ko pAyeM aura isa zubha yoga para kRtArtha ho sakeM / unhoMne dhanya bhAga mAnA / hamane bhI kama ahobhAgya nahIM maanaa| sAtha-sAtha cala diye| ___ vaha prasanna hue, jaba unhoMne pAyA ki ye beDhaMge sAdhu bIca-bIca meM a~garez2I ke zabda bhI bola jAte the / vaha suzikSita parivAra thaa| ghara para hamAre pahu~cane ke kucha hI samaya bAda kuTumba ke saba sadasya hamAre Asa-pAsa aagye| bacce, strI-puruSa, kanyAe~-saba hameM apane bIca meM pAkara behada prasannatA, prasannatA kadAcit utanI na ho, jitanA kutUhala aura vismaya ho-ye kauna uThAIgIre se haiM, jinheM yahA~ baiThA kara unake bar3e, unase taraha-taraha kI bAteM kara rahe haiM / aura ve bhI usI taraha kI bAteM kara sakate haiM ! aura kaisA una se Adara kA bartAva kiyA jA rahA hai isaliye jarUra koI bar3hiyA bAta hI hai, aura isaliye unheM jarUra khuza hI honA caahiye| khAnA khA-pIkara hamane dekhA, ki hameM calanA cAhiye; kintu yaha bAta to-usa ghara vAloM ne spaSTa jatalA diyA-bilakula asambhava hI hai / aura mahilAoM ne bhI kahA ki aisA kisI prakAra bhI na ho sakegA aura hama loga bhI isa aparicita sneha aura anugraha se komala aura kaThina Agraha ko tor3ane kI haTha apane bhItara nahIM jagA sake / rAta vahIM bitAnI huii| __rAta vahA~ bitAne kA matalaba agale dina pUrI paccIsa mIla kI maMjila thaa| char3I ko kahIM anantanAga hama loga pakar3a skeNge| aura sAmAna se lade hue eka sA~sa paJcIsa mIla calanA kucha bahuta sukhada kArya na thaa| rAta yahI socate-socate nIMda lI aura bahuta sabere uTha baitthe|

Page #173
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] rAstA hamArA aba sIdhA na thaa| sar3aka kahIM chUTa gaI thii| koI dasa mIla calane ke bAda sar3aka milegii| ___ ghara ke kaI loga hamAre sAtha-sAtha kucha dUra hameM vidA dene Aye aura batAyA ki eka mIla taka sAmane phaile hue dhAna ke khetoM ko yoM-aura-yoM pAra karake vaha jo bAga-sA dIkhatA hai, usake Age amuka gA~va A jAyagA; aura vahA~ se phira phalA~ gA~va kI baTiyA sIdhI hai hI, phera nahIM hai; aura phira pahAr3I AyagI, usake dAI ora kI rAha para hama ho leM; phira sAmane vaha gA~va hai hI; phira yaha...aura phira vaha, aura Age basa sar3aka hI hai| phira sar3aka to sIdhI hI hai / aura isa prakAra byaurevAra sUcanAe~ dekara hamAre citta kA pUrNa samAdhAna karake bar3e vinIta aura kRtajJa bhAva se unhoMne vidA dI aura kahA, "acchA, namaskAra / " aMguli-saMketa, maukhika varNana aura hArdika sadbhAvanA kI sahAyatA se hamAre mArga kA nakzA jo unhoMne vizada spaSTa rUpa se khIMcakara hameM de diyA thA, vaha, calate-calate hamane pAyA, hamAre nikaTa vaisA sugama nahIM rahA / usa dina sar3aka taka ke dasa mIla ke rAste ko kama-se-kama bAraha to hamane banAkara hI chodd'aa| cala rahe haiM, aura cala rahe haiM, aura cala rahe haiN| sar3aka bhI hai ki Aja Akara nahIM degI / hama pAsa jAte hai, to vaha dUra jAtI hai / ATha baja gaye, nau baja gaye, dasa baja gaye / sUraja sira para tapane lagA, deha thaka gaI, bhUkha laga AI, jI bhI hArasA calA aura sar3aka kA atA-na-patA! rAma kA nAma lo ki Akhira sar3aka AI hii| vahA~ Ate hI hama eka cinAra ke per3a kI chA~ha meM tanika dama lene Thahara gye| aura tIna minaTa bItI nahIM ki phira cala pdd'e| Upara se garda, bhItara se pasInA, A~kha ke sAmane kahIM na anta

Page #174
kazmIra-pravAsa ke do anubhava hone vAlI rAha, aura mAthe para cila-cilAtI dhUpa, basa, hamArA burA hAla thaa| calate-calate koI bastI milI / vahA~ eka sadgRhastha ke ghara se maTThA pAyA aura piiyaa| dUsarI jagaha se eka-eka gole kA Tukar3A aura gur3a kI eka-eka DalI prApta kii| usake Upara kucha pAnI peTa meM pahu~cAyA / aura Age bddh'e| __jo peTa meM pahu~cA, vaha kahA~ bhasma ho rahA, kucha patA na calA / aura peTa meM se mAno lapaTeM nikala-nikalakara kucha aura bhI sAmagrI mA~gane lagIM, jo par3e aura svAhA ho| agni prajvalita hai, yajJa kA samaya jAne kaba kA nikala cukA hai; para havana kI sAmagrI kahA~ hai ? mAno kuNDa kI vahni kI jihvAe~ nirAza kSobha meM lapakalapakakara tAMDava karake pUcha rahI haiM sAmagrI kahA~ hai, kahA~ hai ?... -aura hama calate jA rahe haiM / kyA socate haiM hama ? kahA~ taka calanA hai ? kyA isakA anta hai ? kyA isakA anta nahIM hai ? kyA yaha kSudhA ananta hai, jaise ki sAmane sIdhI jAtI huI rAha ananta hai ? ____ maiMne kahA, "avaMtipura meM mahantajI kA vajarA hameM avazya mila jAyagA / kahA thA-zanIcara ko hama vahIM hoNge| taba hameM bhojana bhI taiyAra milegaa|" __ ambulakara ne kahA, "hA~, kahA to thA / hamArA iMtajAma bhI jarUra kreNge|" iMtaz2Ama se ambulakara kA tAtparya iMtajAra se thaa| mahAtmAjI ha~sate hue bole, "kyoM nahIM / vaha iMtajAra kara rahe haiM, tabhI to hama cala rahe haiM / usa iMtajAra kI AzA ko lekara hI to hama cala pA rahe haiM, kyoM ?" kintu, hama kyA jAnate the aura mahAtmAjI kyA jAnate the, ki mahanta nahIM, usase kahIM bar3I aura apUrva vastu vahA~ avaMtipura

Page #175
164 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] meM hamArA iMtaz2Ara kara rahI thii| hama pahu~ce ki vaha vahA~ ghaTita hogii| A~kha khola dene vAle divya prakAza kI bhA~ti vaha vahA~ hamako lekara sampanna ho uThegI / mahAtmAjI kI bAta sunakara hama apanI dhadhakatI bhUkha ko bhItara hI bhItara liye rahakara vIra kI bhA~ti Age bar3hate rahe / anantanAga se lagabhaga cha: mIla idhara avaMtipura hai / sUraja pacchima kI ora DhalA A rahA thaa| tIna bajate hoMge / kamara se do loiyA~ aura kucha aura sAmAna lapeTe, pasIne se tara-batara aura sA~sa se uphanate hue hama avaMtipura meM praviSTa hue / bastI kA pahalA makAna AyA, hamane caina kI sA~sa lii| koI milA, pUchA, "mandira kahA~ hai ?" " Age" Age bddh'e| phira pUchA, "mandira kahA~ hai ?" " vaha Age - " hama Age bar3hate rahe, aura mandira bhI hamAre Age-Age bar3hatA rhaa| pauna mIla to kama se kama aura cale, sArI bastI pAra kI, aura taba AyA mandira / mandira AyA / zobhanIya sthAna hai / prAcIna paddhati kA zAhI dvAra hai / bhItara bagIcA bhI hai / mandira ke jIne ke caraNoM ko pakhAratI huI vitastA bahatI hai / gulma haiM, cinAra ke saghana vRkSa chAye haiM- kucha ho, yahA~ hama vizrAma pAyeMge, aura mahanta yahA~ mile, to phira vAha ! - aura mahanta na mile to ...? hama pahale se bahuta kucha halke mana se bhItara praviSTa hue / jo sAdhu pahale milA usase pUchA, " zrIcanda 'cinAra ke mahanta' haiM yA gaye ?" -- aura apane jhole vole utAra kara baiThane kI taiyArI karane lage /

Page #176
kazmIra-pravAsa ke do anubhava usa sAdhu ne kahA, "vaha to kabhI ke cale gaye yahA~ se| anantanAga pahu~ca bhI cuke hoNge|" hamane haThAt kahA, "gaye ?" "hA~, gaye, gaye !" kintu, usI samaya pAsa hI se suna par3A, "mahArAja, pdhaariye|" hamane dekhA, ki adher3a vayasa ke eka brAhmaNa puruSa khar3e haiM aura karabaddha kRtajJa bhAva se kaha rahe haiM, "mahArAja, pdhaariye|" hamane pUchA, "kahA~ ?" "mahArAja, bhojana pAne pdhaariye|" usa samaya hama eka dama nizcinta hokara Ananda-magna ho gye| dhIre-dhIre sAmAna utArA, suhalAye, ha~se, Tahale, baiThe, leTe aura nIce AI usa cinAra kI DAla kI chAyA meM vitastA kI dhArA meM snAna kara DAlane kI ThaharAne lge| socA, pasIne se bhIge kapar3oM ko calo lage-hAtha dho bhI ddaaleN| ha~sa-khela-kUda kara aura taira kara maje-maje meM hama nahAye / maje-maje meM kapar3e ghoye-aura vaha sajjana usI prakAra vinamra hameM avakAza milane kI pratIkSA karate hue khar3e rahe / nibaTa kara hama unake sAtha ho liye| vaha cupa-cupa hamAre sAtha cale / mAnoM dhanya aura kRtajJa bhAva se pAnI-pAnI ho kara baha na jAya, isa taraha apane-Apa meM banda hokara sUkSma hote hue vaha cala rahe the| ____ makAna sAdhAraNa thA aura ghara meM eka mA~ thIM aura patnI thIM / mA~ barasoM se netra-hInA ho gaI thIM aura patnI ke koI bAla-baccA na thaa| mA~ ko eka zizu kI AvazyakatA thI, jisake komala gAta ko chU-chUkara aura jisake sAtha macala kara aura ha~sa kara vaha apane jarAcchAdita ekAkIpana kI yAda se kucha kSaNa chuTTI pA leM / jisako

Page #177
166 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] pAkara yaha apanI A~kha pA leM, apane jIvana kA AdhAra, apane bhItara kA prANa pA leM / patnI ko bhI eka bAlaka kI behada cAha thI, jo kizana-kanhAI banakara isa ghara ke choTe-se A~gana meM kucha Udhama macAye, kucha tor3a-phor3a kare; nahIM to yaha A~gana sApha, zAnta, suvyavasthita, sunna aura sadA eka jaisA aisA par3A rahatA hai, jAne bejAna ho, murdA ho, bhUta ho-cupa-cApa sA~sa roka kara, jaise koI bhayaMkara prANI par3A ho, jo aba kATegA, aba kaattegaa| hamako eka caTAI para baiThA kara jhaTa-paTa karake tIna thAliyA~ hamAre sAmane rakha dI gii| sajjana ne dhIre se kahA, "paMkhA kara, paMkhA kara / " hameM lagA jaise hamAre meM A~kha-Age se saba-kucha gayA, gayA! patnI ko bhojana kI vyavasthA kI sambhAla meM se chuTTI milane meM kucha kSaNa laga hI jAne the| inhIM kSaNoM meM mA~ ne binA dekhe hI kahIM-na-kahIM se paMkhA khIMca liyA aura jhalane lgiiN| hamane kahA, "nahIM-nahIM......" kintu kazmIra meM garmI nahIM hotI, isakA yaha artha nahIM hai, ki mA~ paMkhA karanA chor3a deM / yaha to garmI kA paMkhA nahIM thA, hRdaya kA paMkhA thA / havA kI jagaha usase sneha laharAyA jA rahA thaa| __ mA~ isa sneha kI Dora meM ba~dhI hamAre pAsa hI sarakatI AI / mahAtmA jI usa ora ke kinAre para baiThe the| mA~ ne unake sira para apanA AzIrvAda kA hAtha rkkhaa| vaha hAtha phira sira para TahalatA huA aura TaTolatA huA gardana para AyA, aura phira mahAtmA jI kI nirvastra kamara ko suhalAne lgaa| mahAtmA jI kI naMgI pITha para apanA hAtha pherate-pherate unakI A~khoM se A~sU A-Akara Tapakane lage / vaha paMkhA jhalatI rahIM, rotI rahIM, aura isI prakAra apanA dAhanA sUkhA hAtha mahAtmA jI ke sira ke bar3ebar3e bAloM para, dAr3hI para, mu~ha para, kamara para pheratI rhiiN|

Page #178
kazmIra-pravAsa ke do anubhava 167 usa samaya hamArI AtmA bhIja uThI, aura hamArI A~kheM bhI bhIja aaii| hamArA antara sneha se khUba bhigo diyA gayA, aura hama bhojana ke bAda kucha idhara-udhara kI aura pavitra bAtacIta karake cale aaye| -aura hameM patA calA ki pichale varSa, isa parivAra ke pratyeka AtmA kI vividha manautiyoM, saMcita AkAMkSAoM, aura vipula vyaya ke uttara meM, kisI vyakti ne dakSiNA-dAna-yajJAdi ke paryApta ADambara ke bAda inheM batAyA thA ki amuka zubha lagna ke avasara para ve dUra se cale Ate hue tIna sAdhuoM ko AhAradAna deMge, to unheM varadAna prApta hogA aura unakI putra-kAmanA kI siddhi avazyambhAvI hai| sAla-bhara se usI dina kI Asa bA~dhe vaha sajjana baiThe the| vaha dina AyA, prabhAta se vaha mandira para A rahe-aba tIna sAdhu Ate haiM, aba Ate haiM ! sabere se nirAhAra, apane bhAgya ke antima parIkSA-phala kI pratIkSA meM / sUraja nikalA, sUraja car3hA; sAdhu Aye, sAdhu gaye-vaha khar3e haiM-aba tIna sAdhu Ate haiM, aba Ate haiM ! ghaMTe-para-ghaMTe ginatI kI taraha bajate cale gye| mandira bhara gayA, aura mandira khAlI ho gyaa| bagIcA kalarava se gUMjA, aura aba sannATA hai-ve tIna sAdhu Ate haiM, aba Ate haiM ! -aura tIna baje hama tIna sAdhu pahu~ce......

Page #179
corI lakkhU ko aba cAroM-tarafa sUnA-sUnA dIkhane lgaa| donoM jUna roTI ke lAle the hI, aba Asare ko Thaura bhI na rhaa| jisa miTTI aura phUsa ke jhoMpar3e meM apanI bahU, tIna bacce, bur3hiyA mA~ aura eka dUra kI anAtha vidhavA bhAbhI ko lekara vaha gujArA karatA thA, vaha Aja nIlAma para car3hA diyA gayA hai| tIna sAla pahale bIja ke lie jo AlU usane mahAjana se udhAra liye the, unakI kImata maya sUda-dara-sUda vasUla karane ke lie becAre mahAjana ko jhoMpar3I khAlI karA lenA par3A hai / mahAjana ko isake lie kauna Toka sakatA hai ? unake pAsa majisTreTa sAhaba kI DigrI hai| aura DigrI yoM hI muphta thor3e hI mila jAtI hai / usake lie sabUta pahu~cAnA par3atA hai aura apane mAphika phaisalA lenA hotA hai tathA kharca karanA par3atA hai / yaha ThIka hai ki phaisalA aura sabUta ye donoM hI paise kharcane se mila sakate haiM, para paisA kharcanA bhI to koI kama bAta nahIM hai,| jaba paise se manamAnA svarga aura puNya mila sakatA hai, to nyAya bhI agara mile to kyA harja hai ? hama samajhate haiM ki saMsAra meM aisI koI cIja nahIM rahane denI cAhie, jisako ucita kImata para pratyeka vyakti prApta na kara sake aura kadAcit sabhyatA 168

Page #180
corI 166 kA nayA yuga hameM usake najadIka lA rahA hai| isa yuga kI sabhI saugAteM kharIdI jA sakatI haiN| DigrI, U~cI kursI, padavI, prabhutva, ImAna aura AdamI ina sabhI cIjoM ko sabhyatA ke yuga ne sabhI ke lie sahaja aura prApya banA diyA hai / 'sabhI' se hamArA matalaba una sabhI se hai, jo kisI bhI tarIke se kyoM na ho, unake ucita dAma cukAne ke lie bharI jeboM ke svAmI hoN| hamako itanA mAlUma hai aura lakkhU ko bhI itanA hI yAda hai ki tIna sAla pahale usane mahAjana se AlU kA bIja liyA thA aura usakI kImata ATha rupayA hotI thii| vaha diye yA nahIM diye; so use yAda nahIM hai / ATha rupayA usane eka hI vakta nakada de diye hoM, isa para to sacamuca vizvAsa nahIM hotaa| yaha to becArA lakkhU bhI socane kI himmata nahIM kara sakatA, para use isa para acaraja jarUra hai ki tIna sAla ke rupaye usane aba taka cukAye kyoM nahIM ! usakI Adata to aisI nahIM hai| zAyada usane phasala para kucha bhAlU diye to the ! kucha gallA bhI mahAjana ke ghara bhijavA diyA thA ! lekina kaise ? mahAjana kI bahI meM to darja nahIM hai, aura bahI ke sAmane korI yAda kA bharosA kaise kiyA jA sakatA hai ? __jo kucha ho, mahAjana kA kahanA hai ki unheM paisA vApisa nahIM milA, aura cU~ki mahAjana ke palle acchI khAsI rakama hai, isalie unakA avizvAsa bhI nahIM kiyA jA sktaa| phira unake pAsa bahI hai, aura vaha nizcaya se, jora se, dharma ke nAma para, jo kaho usakI kasama khAkara yaha kahane ko taiyAra haiN| ____ udhara lakkhU ga~vAra hai, daridra hai / use nizcaya nahIM hai; sahamatesahamate bAta karatA hai aura kasama se DaratA hai| lekina aina DigrI ke mauke para hI itane purAne karja kA jikra kyoM chir3A, isakI bahasa meM par3ane ko loga taiyAra nahIM haiN| isakA

Page #181
170 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] kAraNa hamArI samajha meM yaha hai ki lakkhU ko cintA karane kI jarUrata nahIM mAlUma hotI thI, isase nizcinta thA; aura mahAjana, sUda-dara-sUda kA hisAba phailA sakate the aura dUra kI soca sakate the, isase vaha bhI nizcinta the / khaira, nIlAma kI tArIkha se 15 dina pahale kI bAta hai ki mahAjana ne lakkhU ko nikalate dekhakara apanI dukAna para bulA kara baiThAyA aura 5-7 minaTa sAdhAraNa bAtacIta ke bAda bahI ke eka panne meM dikhAyA ki tIna sAla hue, usane ATha rupaye ke AlU udhAra liye the / amuka dina thA, amuka tithi thI / mahAjana dekhatA thA aba bhugatAye, aba bhugatAye, hisAba purAnA calA A rahA hai, nipaTa jAnA cAhie / sUda phailAkara pacAsa rupayA hote haiN| lakkhU cAhe to hisAba samajha sakatA hai / byAja dara kucha jyAde nahIM lagAI gii| jo mAmUlI hai, usase kama hI lagAI hai / lakkhU kucha na samajha sakA / vaha cupacApa mahAjana ko dekhatA rahA / mahAjana ne kahA, "dekho, jaldI de doge to ThIka hogA / " lakkhU uThakara cala diyA / usane kahA, 'pacAsa rupaye' yaha mAno usane AsamAna se kahA, yA apane se hI kahA ! kisase kahA, yaha vaha khuda nahIM jAnatA / yaha nizcaya hai ki mahAjana se nahIM kahA / use nahIM mAlUma vaha kahA~ hai, mahAjana kahA~ hai / 'pacAsa rupaye !' pacAsa kise kahate haiM-- pacAsa, pacAsa kyA cIja ! rupaye ! pacAsa rupaye kyA ! - vaha mAno kucha bhI na samajha sakA / mu~ha se vaha kahatA thA 'pacAsa rupaye', para jAnatA na thA, vaha kyA kaha rahA hai| jyoM-jyoM samaya bItA, pacAsa rupaye kA artha samajha meM Ane lagA / use mAlUma ho gayA, pacAsa rupayA use mahAjana ko dene haiM--dene hoMge /

Page #182
corI 171 mahAjana bhI use roz2a rAste meM Tokakara-'dene hoMge' ke sAphasAfa nirdhAnta artha samajhAne lge| 'dene hoMge-sIdhI taura se, nahIM nAliza se / ' 'nAliza !-nAliza se vaha DaratA thaa| kitanI zaktizAlinI, vanakaThorA, yaha pizAcinI hai nAliza! usane usake lAla-pagar3I ke jo dUta dekhe the-unase hI usakI bhayaMkaratA kA andAjA lagAkara vaha kA~pa gyaa| usane kahA, "mahAjana, maiM de dUMgA, dhIre-dhIre saba de dU~gA, para nAliza nhiiN|" __mahAjana ne bhI sIdhe taura se kaha diyA, "tIna sAla to ho gye| aba kaba taka baiThA rAha dekhU gA ?" lakkhU ne gir3agir3A kara kahA, "merI ijjata mahAjana, tumhAre hAtha hai, nAliza nhiiN|" lekina ijjata ko hAtha meM lekara mahAjana ko santoSa na thA, vaha to pacAsa rupayA cAhatA thA, isalie usane Thaharane meM apanI spaSTa asamarthatA jatalA dii| ___ yahA~ kahA jA sakatA hai ki pacAsa meM mahAjana kI sampatti nahIM luTatI thI, unakI mahAjanI phira bhI bahAla rhtii| hA~, pacAsa meM usa lakkhU kI jAna, lakkhU ke Azrita chaha aura janoM kI jAna bacAI jA sakatI thI, una sabakI ananta kRtajJatA kamAI jA sakatI thI aura yaha kucha ToTe kI kamAI na thii| tisa para ye ve rupaye the, jo jhUTha kI taraha zUnya meM se utpanna hokara bahuta thor3e samaya meM pacAsa bana gaye the ! lekina mahAjana kI ora se hama yaha kaha denA cAhate haiM ki vaha yadi aisI thothI salAhoM meM par3ate, to mahAjana nahIM ho sakate the| aura vaha mUrkha nahIM haiN| vaha apane mauke ko pahacAnate haiM, aura use khAlI nahIM jAne de sakate / __ jaise hamane indra kA vaibhava nahIM dekhA, vaise becAre lakkhU ne kabhI ikaTTha pacAsa rupaye nahIM dekhe the| kahA~ se kaise vaha vaibhava ko prApta kare ! er3I-coTI kA pasInA eka karake, nasIba se lar3akara,

Page #183
172 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] AzritoM ko eka bAra sUkhA nAja dekara aura Apa sirpha pAnI para santoSa mAnakara, dasa dina taka ghAsa khodakara, lakar3I Dhokara, bhIkha mA~gakara, lakkhU chaha rupaye ikaTThe kara pAyA / mahAjana ke pAsa jAkara bolA, "lo mahAjana, chaha rupayA ye lo| aise hI dhIre-dhIre bhugatA duuNgaa|" mahAjana ne kaha diyA, "vAha pacAsa ke evaja meM chaha rupaye !" lakkhU muMha laTakAkara jaba calane lagA, to mahAjana ne kucha socakara use bulA liyA aura usase chaha rupaye le liye| lekina pacAsa kI jagaha chaha lekara ananta kAla taka to ThaharA nahIM jA sakatA, isalie kucha hI dina bAda mahAjana ne adAlata meM jAkara, khare dAma cukAkara pUre pacAsa kI DigrI karA lii| ___ jhoMpar3A nIlAma para car3hA / lakkhU be-ghara huaa| usake Azrita nirAzraya hue| vaha ghara, jisameM lakkhU ke purAne dina, bIte hue yAda ke dina, sukha ke vilAsa ke ullAsa ke dina, aba bhI jindA the, jo lakkhU ke samIpa usake bApa kA, usakI mA~ ke samIpa usake pati kA, eka mAtra avazeSa saMsmRti-cihna thA; jo unake jIvana meM ghula-mila gayA thA, jisake konoM meM, bhItara-bAhara cAroM tarapha mAnoM apanI zAkhA-prazAkhAe~ phailAkara unakA jIvana-vRkSa phalA-phUlA thA, jisake A~gana meM lakkhU kI mA~ kA lagAyA eka imalI kA darakhta thA aura jisake chappara para lakkhU kI lagAI kumhar3e kI bela thI, vaha ghara, vaha jhoMpar3A, jaba birAne hAthoM meM cale jAne ke lie balAt chor3anA par3A, to mAnoM AtmA ko, kuttoM aura giddhoM ke khAdya ke lie apanA zarIra chor3anA pdd'aa| jaba ye saba ghara se nikale, lakkhU ke sira para do miTTI kI har3iyA~ aura eka hAtha meM eka poTalI thI. bahU kI chAtI para eka baccA aura aMgulI pakar3e hue dUsarA baccA thaa| bar3A bAlaka mA~ kA hAtha thAme-thAme cala rahA thaa| pIche lakva kI mA~ bhI A

Page #184
corI 173 rahI thI, jisake pAsa lakar3I kA eka choTA-sA baksa thA / lakar3I ke baksa meM javAhirAta ho sakate the, isalie use to beroka-Toka jAne denA ThIka na thA; parantu isake lie mahAjana ko aura adAlata dUtoM ko dhanyavAda de denA hamArA kartavya hai ki unhoMne ha~DiyoM ko aura poTalI ko nahIM chInA / hama isako svIkAra karate haiM ki DigrI pAsa rahate unheM unake kapar3e taka utaravA lene kA adhikAra thA, aura yadi AvazyakatA hotI to kAnUna kI pRSTha - poSaka tamAma DaMDA - zakti usa adhikAra kI rakSA ke lie prastuta ho sakatI thI, parantu usa adhikAra kA prayoga nahIM kiyA gayA / isake lie hama mahAjana kI vizAlahRdayatA aura caparAsiyoM ke zakti-saMyama kA AbhAra mAne binA nahIM raha sakate / jaba ye ghara se khader3e gaye, abhAge bastI ke bAhara bar3e maidAna meM pahu~ce, taba unheM anubhava huA ki kahA~ jAnA hogA, kyo karanA hogA, isa para vicAra karanA Avazyaka hai| lekina bahuta kucha vicAra kara cukane para bhI kucha nizcaya na ho sakA / gA~va, jahA~ inheM kucha Azraya kI ummIda thI, chaha kosa thA aura vahA~ pahu~canA sambhava nahIM, isalie sAmane ke pIpala ke per3a ke tale baserA DAla diyA / per3a ke nIce baiThA lakkhU soca rahA thA ki peTa meM DAlane ke lie kahA~ se, kyA, kisa taraha juTAyA jAya ki udhara se dhannU lodhA AtA dikhAI diyaa| Ate hI usane kahA, "kaho bhAI, yahA~ kaise par3e ho ?" lakkhU ne apanI kahAnI kaha dI / dhannU ne kahA, "to bhUkhoM maroge ?" lakkhU ne kahA, "kyA karU~ ?" "kyA karU~ ? kyoM ? - hama to bhUkhoM nahIM marate / " lakkhU ne kahA, "na, na, so mujhase na hogA / "

Page #185
174 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] __ dhannU bolA, "abhI na hogA, so to maiM bhI jAnatA hU~ para maiM kahe detA hU~, hogA to yahI hogaa| sAdhu bane rahakara tuma chaha AdamiyoM kA peTa nahIM bhara skte| bAta yaha hai, bhUkhoM rahane kI naubata abhI tuma taka hI AI hai / jaba tumhAre bacce roTI-roTI cillAe~ge, mA~ dAne-dAne ke lie tarasegI, bahU bharI aura gUMgI A~khoM se tumheM dekhegI, taba dekhanA hai, tuma kyA karate ho / tuma unheM mAra de sako, taba to acchA hai, taba to tuma sacamuca sAdhu bana sakate ho / nahIM to, nahIM to, bhagavAn na kare, tumheM vahI karanA hogA |....kyaa kahate ho, mehanata ? mehanata se paidA karoge? vAha lakkhU , aba taka tumane mehanata nahIM kI, to kyA aura kucha kiyA hai ? para kahA~ hai vaha tumhArI mehanata aura usakA phala ? sUkha kara tuma kA~TA ho gaye ho, paise-paise ko tuma muhatAja ho, dAne-dAne ke lie phikra kara rahe ho, pIpala ke nIce baserA DAle par3e ho| vaha mahAjana bar3I mehanata karatA hai na, ki phUlake borA bana rahA hai| tuma jaise usameM tIna bneN| dina-bhara takiye ke sahAre aiMThatA hai, aura DigrI lAkara tumhArA ghara chIna letA hai / yaha hai tumhArI mehanata !......aura hA~, kyA kahA ?ImAnadArI ? ImAnadArI kahA~ rahatI hai, so bhI tuma kucha jAnate ho ? ImAnadArI yA to rahatI hai paramAtmA ke pAsa yA beImAnoM ke pAsa / paisA usakA mAlika hai| koI garIba kabhI ImAnadAra sunA hai ? aura kisI paise-vAle ko tuma beImAna kahane kI himmata kara sakate ho ? himmata karake dekho, vaha gavAhoM se apanI ImAnadArI duniyA kI nAka para aisI sAbita kare ki tumheM jela jAnA pdd'e| bolo,kauna kaha sakatA hai mahAjana beImAna hai aura tuma ImAnadAra ? ImAna ke do kAgaz2a usake pAsa haiM, eka bahI aura dUsarI DigrI! aura ImAna kA bApa usake pAsa hai-paisA ! tumhAre pAsa kyA hai ?-kucha nhiiN| isase sApha sAbita hai, tuma beImAna ho / phira

Page #186
corI 175 ImAna kyA hai yaha bhI to samajho / brAhmaNa kahatA hai-ImAna para kAyama raho, mujhe paisA car3hAo / rAjA kahatA hai-ImAna para kAyama raho, Taiksa do aura hamArA hukma mAno / baniyA kahatA hai-ImAna para kAyama raho, sUda cukAte rho| aura saba kahate haiM-ImAna para kAyama raho, tuma garIba ho, garIba hI bane raho; nIca ho, usI meM santoSa rakkho, kabhI sira na uThAo, yahI tumhArA ImAna hai| aba hama kyA kahate haiM ? hamane bhI unhIM kI bAteM apane sira meM ThUsa lI haiM / hama bhI kahate haiM-acchA mAlika, hama kucha na kaheMge ImAna para kAyama rheNge| hama samajhate haiM, hama jAnavara haiM, ve prabhu haiN| yaha tumhArI ImAnadArI hai, jisane hameM yaha sikhAyA hai| nhiiN| hama kaheMge-ImAna para hama qAyama he, tumhAre pAsa dhana bahuta hai, usameM hamArA hissA hai, hameM do| nahIM to hama le leMge ! kaheMgeImAna para kAyama raho, cupacApa dhana hameM de do| nahIM to hama chIna leNge| eka daphe hamane samajha liyA ki isameM beImAnI nahIM hai, to beImAnI nahIM rhtii|" ___ lakkhU ne kahA, "merI to samajha meM tumhArI bAta AI nhiiN| mujhe to Dara lagatA hai|" dhannU ne kahA, "Dara ! isa Dara hI kI to sArI gar3abar3a hai| apanI ImAnadArI ko manavAne ke lie unhoMne kaise bar3e-bar3e Dara ke bhUta khar3e kara diye haiM-adAlata, havAlAta, jela, phA~sI ! lekina 'bhaI, jo nahIM DaratA, usake lie ye bhUta kucha nahIM haiN| jaba hama apanI bAta lekara uThe haiM, to isa Dara ko to haTA denA hogaa| ulTe hameM apane Dara ke sAdhana khar3e karane hoNge| agara vaha sIdhI taraha hamArI banAI ImAnadArI kabUla nahIM kareMge, to hama apane sAdhanoM ko sAmane karake kaheMge-mAno, nahIM to ye dekho, lUTa, corI, DakaitI, krAnti ......" lakkhU ne bIca hI meM roka kara kahA, "dhannU bhAI, yaha tuma kyA

Page #187
176 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] kaha rahe ho ? tuma to yaha corI para jaise sInA-jorI kA upadeza dete ho| tuma to gA~va meM sabase bhale AdamI samajhe jAte the| maiM jAnatA thA tuma aise ho gaye ho, para samajhatA thA tuma isa para afasosa karate hoge|" 'dhannU ne uttara diyA, "jisa para aphasosa karUM, aisA kAma maiM apanI zakti-bhara kabhI nahIM krtaa| tuma jAnate ho, maiM akelA hU~, mere Age-pIche kAI nhiiN| lAcAra hokara to maiM aise kAma meM par3a nahIM sakatA thaa| maiM marane se bhI nahIM ddrtaa| bhUkhoM marane kI hI cAhe naubata kyoM na A jAtI, apane peTa ke khayAla se to maiM aisA kabhI na krtaa| maiM itanA nikammA, itanA nIca kabhI nahIM ho sktaa| maiM to isameM jAna-bUjhakara, soca-samajhakara par3A huuN| aura maiM samajhatA hU~, maiM kabhI bhalA AdamI thA, to usase Aja jyAde hI hU~-kama nhiiN|" lakkhU ne sApha-sApha kaha diyA ki usakI bAteM pAgalapana kI bAteM haiM, aura vaha aura Age nahIM sunanA cAhatA / dhannU ne isa para calane kI taiyArI kI aura pA~ca rupaye nikAlakara dene lgaa| kahA, "isa vakta aura jyAde nahIM haiM, isakA mujhe duHkha hai|" lakkhU ne lene se sApha inakAra kara diyaa| dhannU ne kahA, "bevakUpha mata bno| merA kahA maano| rupaye le lo, kAma aaeNge|" __usane na liye / dhannU ne kahA, "tumhAre lie nahIM, baccoM ke lie aura mA~ ke lie de rahA huuN|" ___ usane lenA phira bhI svIkAra na kiyaa| dhannU ne phira bhI koziza kI, para usane haTha na chodd'ii| dhannU calA gyaa| ___ usake sAta roja ke bAda kI bAta hai| jaGgala meM eka sUne zivAle meM lakkhU rahatA thaa| Aja dina-bhara baccoM ko kucha nahIM milaa| khuda vaha tIna roja se nirAhAra bhaTakatA rahA hai| auroM ko bhI Der3ha-Der3ha, do-do roz2a kA upavAsa ho gayA hai / dhannU paayaa|

Page #188
corI. 177 usane pA~ca rupaye diye svIkAra kara liye gye| vaha calA gyaa| aise kitane dina guz2Are patA nhiiN| mahIne-bhara bAda lakavR corI ke aparAdha meM pakar3A gyaa| rAta ke samaya bAga se usane kucha Ama tor3e the / aAma le jAne kI taiyArI meM thA ki mAlikoM ne use ghera liyA aura pakar3a liyaa| vaha eka bAra ghara jAne kI ijAjata cAhatA thA / kahatA thA, maiM khuda A jAU~gA, nahIM to eka AdamI sAtha cle| lekina unhoMne na maanaa| lakkhU isa para jabardastI apane ko chuTA, unakI pakar3a meM se bhAga nikalA / ghara para mA~ bahuta azakta thii| buDDhA zarIra bhUkha kaba taka bardAzta kara sakatA thA ? dina-bhara ghUma-phirakara bhI jaba kucha na milA, to bAga ke pAsa jAte hue Ama dekhakara lakkhU ko khayAla ho AyA ki isI se mA~ ko kucha sahArA mile| rAta unhIM AmoM ko vaha lene gayA thaa| khAlI-hAtha jaba vaha mA~ ke pAsa lauTA, to nahIM jAnatA thA, vaha khuzI manAye yA aphasosa ! Ama to lA nahIM sakA, para khuda to mA~ ke pAsa A gyaa| ___ saberA hote hI sipAhI ke sAtha mAlI zivAle para maujUda ho gyaa| rone-dhone kI, pApa-puNya kI kauna sunatA hai| lakkhU ko sipAhI kI hathakar3I meM ba~dhakara sAtha calanA pdd'aa| ____majisTreTa ke sAmane corI kA aparAdha thaa| yaha aparAdha khuda to kucha bahuta bar3A na thA, para usake isa prazna kA koI santoSaprada uttara na de sakane para ki usakI kamAI kA jariyA kyA hai, jarAsI corI kA aparAdha gurutama ho gyaa| vaha kahatA thA, "jI, maiM kucha nahIM karatA, bhUkhA rahatA huuN| kucha dAne-bAne mila gaye, paise mila gaye, yA majadUrI se jo A gayA, usI se khAne ko le letA huuN|" lekina yaha bhI koI javAba hai ! majisTraTa sAhaba ne sIdhA do sAla kA hukma sunA diyA !

Page #189
178 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] do sAla taka ghara vAloM kA kyA huzrA, kisako khabara ? hA~, agara dhanaJjayasiMha-dhannU ne unakI khabara na lI hogI, to paramAtmA ne avazya lI hogI, isameM saMzaya nahIM hai| __lakkhU mahAzaya jaba jela se nikale, to sIdhe-sAde bhole-bhAle dIna lakkhU nahIM nikale / vaha pakke, chaTe hue, ustAda cora nikle| lekina yaha mAnanA hogA ki dhanaJjayasiMha kI zikSA meM aura jela kI zikSA meM mahAsAgaroM kA antara thaa| dhanaJjayasiMha kA kRtya, ho sakatA hai, vikRta take aura buddhiviparyaya kA pariNAma ho, kintu usameM siddhAntoM kA, dayA kA samAveza avazya thaa| idhara lakkhU mahAzaya kI corI kuTila zuddha svArtha kA pariNAma thI-eka lata thI, vyasana thii| lekina itanA avazya hai ki lakkhU pahale jaisI kaThinatA meM nahIM hai, aura caina se dina bitAtA hai|

Page #190
saz2A bAhara ke barAmade meM veMta kI kursI DAle suhAvanI rima-jhima dekha rahA thA / pAnI banda nahIM hotA dIkhatA thaa| zAyada yaha jhar3I kaI dina cala jAya / kabhI meMha dhImA hotA ki thor3I dera meM phira bauchAreM tejI pakar3a letIM / barAmade ke paudhe maiMne naukara se haTavAkara pIche rakhavA die the| varSA kI bUMdoM kI agavAnI para pahale to una paudhoM kI pattiyA~ ha~satI mAlUma huI, para pIche mAre bauchAroM ke becArI ThiThurI-sI dIkhane lagI thiiN| __aisI jhar3I meM dekhatA kyA hU~ ki cale A rahe haiM mitra ayyara / ayyara kA bharosA nahIM, bulAte raho to zAyada eka na suneM, vaise jAne kaba A dhmkeN| gA~va-gA~va ghUmate haiN| bI0 e0 meM avvala daraje meM Ane kA prAyazcitta jaise jindagI bhara karate rheNge| prAyazcitta kA DhaMga yaha hai ki bAta-cIta yA cAla-DhAla se kisI ko patA na calane deMge ki vaha a~garejI jAnate haiM, aura boleMge eka-dama vAhiyAta hindI / hindustAna ke kAle kinAre, samajhie basa kumArI antarIpa ke kahIM Asa-pAsa, ke rahane vAle haiN| yahA~ dillI meM carve ko dharama banA kara usI ke pracAra meM lage rahate haiN| maiM bhale AdamI se kaha-kaha kara hAra gayA ki are bhAI ayyara ! kyoM 176

Page #191
180 janendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] bhAI-bahina aura mA~-bApa se bichur3a kara kA~gresa ke isa baMjara kAma meM par3e ho ! apanI sUrata bhI kabhI zIze meM dekhate ho ? aisI apane se kyA duzmanI ? byAha karo aura apane lAyaka bno| sunate ho ? para ayyara hai ki mIThI muskarAhaTa se hI saba kar3avI bAtoM kA javAba de detA hai| ___ para ayyara kA bakhAna chor3eM kyoMki bakhAna kA vahA~ avasara kahA~ thA / haz2arata the tarabatara, sira para TopI taka nahIM thI, chatarI kI to pUchiye kyA ? pairoM kI cappala se uchaTI kIcar3a kI chIToM se dhotI raMgIna ho rahI thI maiMne kahA, "are ayyara ! Ao, shraao|''ajii AnA, dekhanA yaha kauna haiN|" ___ayyara ne hAthoM ke kAgaz2a meM hoziyArI se lipaTe hue baNDala ko alaga rakhA aura sira ke bAloM ko sUta kara pAnI nicodd'aa| kahA, "tez2a bAriza hai|" maiMne kahA, "aura tuma kyA kama tez2a ho ki aisI bAriza meM nikala par3e ghara se !" ___ mAlUma huA ki janAba A rahe haiM eka gA~va se, jo dasa mIla hai / cale taba bAriza na thii| yaha dhotI Aja sabere hI taiyAra huI / apanI hI katI-bunI hai, bahina ko Aja hI upahAra-rUpa bheja dene kI icchA thI, isalie zahara cale Ae haiM / merI jagaha rAste meM par3atI hai, so idhara hI mur3a pAe / ___maiMne dhotI dekhI, andara se zrImatI jI ne bhI Akara dekhI aura pasanda kii| lekina unako ayyara kI yaha bAta bilkula pasanda nahIM ki vaha cAya nahIM pIte / unhoMne kahA, "cAya abhI do minaTa meM taiyAra hotI hai| itane cAho to nahA DAlo aura kapar3e badala lo|"

Page #192
sajA 181 ayyara ne kahA, "bhAbhI cAya to rahane do / para kapar3e do to nahA lenA maiM z2arUra cAhatA huuN|" __ bhAbhI ne kahA, "cAya nahIM loge to kapar3e ho maiM kyoM dene lagI?" ___ kahakara vinA uttara kI pratIkSA kiye vaha andara calI gaI aura thor3I dera meM Akara bolI, "calo saba taiyAra hai / gusalakhAnA bhUle to nahIM ki maiM calU~ ?" / __ ayyara jA~ghie aura baniyAna meM hamArI zrImatI jI ke pIchepIche cala die| lauTe taba taka mez2a para cAya kA sAmAna lAyA jA rahA thaa| ayyara ne kapar3e pahane aura maiMne dekhA ki mere kapar3oM meM ayyara pahale se kucha durusta hI mAlUma hotA hai| cAya para baiThakara vaha bahutakucha hIlA-havAlA karatA to rahA, para hamArI zrImatI ne usakA kuphra tor3akara hI dama liyaa| yAnI ayyara ke garama dUdha ke pyAle meM do bU~da cAya to DAla hI dI / ayyara ne ha~sakara usa pyAle ko muMha lagAyA aura gaTa-gaTa pI gayA / kahA, "Apa nArAz2a na hoM to aisA jahara-chuA pyAlA eka-Adha maiM aura le sakatA hU~, agara Apa deN|" maiM sunakara kAyala huaa| maiM usa AdamI ko gavArA nahIM kara sakatA jise majAka gavArA nahIM hai| ayyara kI avivAhita avasthA ko maiM isIlie kSamA karatA hU~ ki usane merI zrImatI ko zurU se 'bhAbhI' kahA, eka bhI dina 'bahina jI' nahIM khaa| maiMne kahA, "suno, jahara jarA kama rakhane kI tAkIda ina mahAtmA se mile, isase pahale hI tuma apanI ora se use DAlane meM saMkoca kyoM dikhAzro ?" sacamuca isa bAra zrImatI jI ne zrAdhA pyAlA cAya kA bhara

Page #193
182 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] diyA taba usameM dUdha chodd'aa| ayyara kahate raha gae basa-basa, lekina zrImatI jI ne ha~sakara kahA "khuda de rahI hU~ phira bhI Daroge? lo, Daro nhiiN|" ayyara ne ha~sakara kahA, "maiM begunAha huuN| mujha para kRpA kyoM ?" kahakara usane pyAlA uThA liyaa| usakI bhAbhI ne usI taraha ha~sakara kahA, "soco nahIM, z2ahara hI amRta hotA hai| A~kha mIMcakara rAma ke nAma ke sAtha pI jaao|" "to lo" kahakara pyAlA vaha aoThoM ke pAsa le gyaa| lekina dekhate kyA haiM ki pyAlA usane ekadama meja para rakha diyA hai aura khar3e hokara vaha sIne para hAtha dabAkara kurte kI jeboM ko TaTolane lagA hai| maiMne kahA, "kyoM, kyA huA ?" usane javAba nahIM diyA aura kabhI isa jeba ko to kabhI usa jeba ko TaTolatA rhaa| maine phira pUchA, "kyoM, kyA bAta hai ?" saMkSipta-sA "kucha nahIM" kahakara vaha apanI kursI ko haTA pulinde kI dhotI kI tahoM meM acchI taraha dAba-dAbakara kucha dekhane lgaa| patA calA ki usakA parsa gAyaba hai / jAne kyA huA ? honA to jeba meM cAhie thA, ki sahasA use kucha khyAla AyA aura kursiyoM ke bIca se rAstA banAtA huA vaha andara calA gyaa| thor3I dera meM lauTA aura kahA, "Apake naukara kA kyA nAma hai ? usane to gusalakhAne meM parsa nahIM dekhA ? mujhe ThIka yAda hai ki nahAte samaya maiMne parsa alaga nikAlakara rakhA thaa| lekina aba vahA~ nahIM hai|"

Page #194
sajA 183 mAlUma huA ki parsa meM cAra dasa-dasa ke noTa haiM, do sikke ke rupaye, kucha rejagArI, do jarUrI khata, aura eka ptaa|| ___maiMne apane yahA~ ke surajanA ko bulAkara parsa ke bAre meM puuchaa| vaha sunakara acaraja meM raha gayA aura kucha na batA sakA / maiMne tAkIda dekara kahA ki jAo, talAza kro| nahIM to tuma hI jaanoge| ghara meM dUsarA kona hai ki usako kahA jAya ! surajanA ne apane ko nirdoSa btlaayaa| lekina merI DapaTa ke Age vaha jyAdA muMha nahIM khola sakA aura calA gyaa| ___ zrImatI jI ne pUchatAcha karanI zurU kI ki sikke kisa bAdazAha ke the aura kisa san ke the ? aura dasa ke noToM meM koI bar3A thA yA saba choTe the ? aura kisa jeba meM kyA ? aura maiMne kahA, "pUcha-pUchakara apanA jI hI bharogI ki kucha karataba bhI karogI? dekho par3osa ke jo kirAedAra haiM vahA~ se kucha patA lgaao| sunA ?" * pahale to zrImatI jI kucha garma-sA javAba dene para utArU diikhiiN| mAno unhoMne kahanA cAhA ki maiM hI saba kara-dhara ke rakhU to kucha ho, yaha nahIM ki aura bhI koI kucha paira-hAtha hilAe / kyoM na, AdamI bar3e jo Thahare ! lekina yaha saba kaheM isase pahale hI Akasmika-bhAva se camakakara bolIM ki gaye rupaye kahIM bhalA milate haiM ? lekina eka bAta pakkI ho jAnI cAhie, maiM hU~Dhakara dUM to mujhe kyA inAma milegA ? ayyara aba taka sthira-citta ho gae the| jo gayA so gayA, usa para samaya ko aura apanI zAnti ko bhI kyoM jAne diyA jAya / lekina zrImatI jI kI inAma kI bAta sunakara bole, "bhAbhI kyoM dika karatI ho ? lAo parsa de do na / " zrImatI bolI, "to maiM cora hU~, ki maiMne parsa uThAkara rakha liyA hai ?"

Page #195
184 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] ayyara bole, "Akhira tuma dogI to ho hii|" lekina zrImatI jI ne isa sune ko anasunA kara diyaa| vaha Thor3I ko hatheliyoM para lekara soca meM Age mez2a para jhukakara baiTha gaI aura kucha dera kucha nahIM boliiN| isa apratyAzita mauna para aura bhI saba-kucha ruka gyaa| thor3I dera meM sahasA bolI, "surajana ko, kyoM jI, hamAre yahA~ dasavA~ sAla to hai ? tuma kyA samajhate ho usane liyA hogA ?" maiMne kahA, "maiM nahIM smjhtaa|" bolI, "eka bAra tumane jo jeba se paise kama hone kI zikAyata kI thii| vaha phira mile bhI nhiiN| lekina surajanA ne liye, isakA sabUta bhI nahIM milaa|" mujhe cupa dekhakara bolI, "sunate ho, phira kyA kahate ho ?" maiMne kahA, "kyA kahU~ ?" bolI, "kaho kyoM nahIM ? zaka ho to kaho / maiM.abhI usakI camar3I beMtoM se udher3a sakatI huuN|" maiM bolA, "nAhaka !" bolI, "tuma kaho nAhaka, para merA usa para saba haka hai| maiM usase kaha dUM to vaha abhI jamanA meM DUbakara mara sakatA hai / itanA vaha mujhe mAnatA hai| to maiM usako kyA pITate-pITate behAla nahIM kara sakatI ? vaha cora bane to kyA maiM cupacApa isako dekhatI raha sakatI huuN| kaho, tumheM zaka hai ?" __maiMne kahA, "zaka nahIM hai, sabUta kA savAla hai|" zrImatI jI ne merI ora dekhakara jora se kahA, "sabUta nahIM, zaka kA savAla hai / zaka kAfI hai| usa para hI maiMne surajanA ko adhamarA nahIM kara diyA to maiM kaisI usakI mAlakina huuN| bolo, kho|"

Page #196
saz2A 185 maiMne phira kahA, "kyA kahU~ ?" bolI, "to maiM kahatI hU~ usakA yaha kAma nahIM hai|" kahakara vaha cupa ho rhiiN| u~galI mAthe para rakha cAya kI mez2a ke pAra pharza para A~kha gar3Ae jAne vaha kyA dekhane lagI thI ki ekAeka vyasta bhAva se bolI, "nahIM, yaha kAma usakA nahIM ho sakatA / hargija nahIM ho sktaa| sunate ho, eka laphz2a bhI usase isa bAre meM na khnaa| mere ghara meM rahakara usase koI kucha nahIM kaha paaygaa|" isake bAda thor3I dera jaise soca meM par3e rahakara vaha phira pUchatAcha karane lagI ki rupaye kisa-kisa rAjA kI mUrata ke the aura kisa san ke ? noTa choTe the yA bar3e aura kyA unake nambara the ? pase ThIka kaisA thA ? usakI kisa jeba meM kyA thA ? 'oha ! 'jipa' vAlA parsa thaa| aura dasa-dasa ke tIna noTa usI meM the ? to ThIka hai / yaha ThIka hai| isa taraha kI apane meM ulajhI-sI bAteM karatI huI vaha ayyara se jiraha karatI rhiiN| ___ maiM strI-buddhi kA bahuta kAyala nahIM huuN| zAyada kAraNa yaha ho ki maiM vivAhita hU~ / vivAha se pahale lekina usa bAta ko jAne do| lekina vivAha ke bAda se strI ke mijAja kA maiM itanA adhika kAyala ho gayA hU~ ki buddhi ke kAyala hone kA mujha meM kahIM sthAna hI nahIM raha gayA hai| maiM nahIM jAnatA ki mijAz2a kI tIkSNatA aura buddhi kI tIkSNatA do eka-dama do cIjeM haiM ki nhiiN| kahIMna-kahIM ve Apasa meM hilI-milI to hoNgii| nahIM to samavedanA kI sUkSmatA se alaga hokara buddhi kI kuzAgratA kaise cala sakatI hogI? isalie bAvajUda isa bAta ke ki tarka calane para mere sAmane apanI zreSThatA kA kisI yUnivarsiTI kA koI pramANa-patra vaha mere Age peza nahIM kara sakatI aura bAvajUda isa ke ki ghar3I-beghar3I unheM maiM yAda dilAtA rahatA hU~ ki maiM akAunTenTa-janarala-Aphisa kA

Page #197
106 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] eka bar3A...Apa samajha hI gae hoMge...isase jAne diijie| yAnI bAvajUda saba bAtoM ke mAlUma hotA hai ki zrImatI jI apanI rAjInArAjI ke dvArA jo dUra ke marma ko sahaja-bhAva se pakar3a letI haiM vaha mere lAkha hisAbI aura tAttvika taka ke hAtha nahIM A paataa| taba hI mAnanA hotA hai ki strI ko strItva dekara yadyapi Izvara ne use sarvatobhAvena buddhi-zUnya banA diyA hotA to bhI jagat kI vizeSa kSati na hotI kyoMki strI strItva ke z2ora se saba abhAvoM ko bharakara puruSa ke Age taba bhI aparAjita hI rhtii| khaira jI, vaha chodd'o| matalaba yaha ki zrImatI jI kI jiraha para mana meM kucha sadaya hotA huA maiM vahA~ baiThA rahA / jiraha samApta hone para vaha phira kucha dera guma-suma baiThI rhiiN| anantara bolIM, "merA sAtha vAloM kI misarAnI para zaka hai|" ___ maiM vismaya se bolA, "misarAnI ?" maiMne kaI bAra usa misarAnI ko barAbara vAle kirAedAroM ke yahA~ Ate-jAte dekhA thaa| kabhI pUrA nahIM dekha paay|| dhotI mAthe ke kAphI Age AI rahatI thii| vAcAlatA usakI kisI ke sAmane nahIM AI / cupa AtI thI, cupa jAtI thI, aura kisI ke mukha usa kI zikAyata mere kAnoM taka nahIM AI thii| isIlie maiMne acaraja se kahA, "misarAnI ?" zrImatI jI bolI, "khyAla AtA hai ki gusalakhAne kI tarapha se usake gujarane kI mujhe kucha jhalaka milI thii| nahIM to tuma batAo, kauna ho sakatA hai ?" nidAna hama usa misarAnI ko lekara bAta karane lge| vaha dUsaroM ke yahA~ se vetana pAtI aura vahIM kAma karatI hai / usase kaise kucha pUchA-tAchA jA sakatA hai ? ajI chor3o, jo gayA so gyaa| kisI para zaka DAlakara bhalA usa ko beijjata kaise kiyA jAya ?

Page #198
saz2A 187 ayyara kI aura hamArI yahI rAya rahI ki kisse ko aba chor3A jAya / zrImatI jI kI tatpara mudrA se mAlUma hotA thA ki vaha bAta ko yahIM chor3ane para kabhI taiyAra na hoNgii| parsa na milA to zaka surajanA para bhI Thahara sakatA hai| basa, yaha unheM asahya hogaa| yA to baTue ko kahIM se milanA hogA, nahIM to surajanA ko piTanA hogA / surajanA ko mArate-mArate vaha bedama kara sakatI haiM, para eka kSaNa ko bhI usakA cora samajhA jAnA vaha nahIM saha sktiiN| ___ bAta-bAta meM maiMne jora se kahA ki kauna tumhAre surajanA ko kucha kahatA hai ? nahIM karegA koI usa para zaka / para aba usa bAta ko chor3o bhii| ayyara kA aura bhI Agraha thA ki isa kisse para aba eka bhI minaTa aura nahIM kharca karanA cAhie / rupayA gayA to koI jAna to apanI nahIM gii| para zrImatI jI ne kahA ki tuma surajanA para zaka na karane vAle kauna hote ho ? parsa nahIM milatA to vaha gayA kahA~ ? jarUra surajanA ne gAyaba kiyA hogA? aura agara surajanA cora hai to kahA~ se usane corI sIkhI ? pATha barasa kA mere yahA~ AyA / agara cora hai to usane corI hamAre ghara ke sivA kahIM bAhara se nahI sIkhI / sunate ho, agara vaha cora hai to hamane use cora banAyA hai| hamane usameM lAlaca kI jagaha rahane dI hogI, avizvAsa kI jagaha rahane dI hogI, tabhI to parsa dekhakara usakA mana DigA / aura mana DigA bhI to vaha bAta hamase kahane nahIM AyA ! isalie kahIM-na-kahIM se baTue ko pAkara lAnA hogA / nahIM to maiM isa kambakhta surajanA ko jItA nahIM chodduuNgii| hameM, kama-se-kama mujhe, unakI bhAvanA aura unakA tarka samajha nahIM pAyA aura hamAre bIca se vaha uThakara calI gaI to mujhe burA

Page #199
188 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] nahIM lagA aura maiM ayyara se deza-videza aura siddhAnta-nIti kI bAteM karane meM laga gayA aura parsa kI balA ko mana se dUra bhagA diyA / __ ayyara se maiM hamezA kahatA rahA hU~ ki dekho bhAI, sevA acchI cIja hai| lekina jindagI meM paira jamanA bhI jarUrI cIja hai / kyA yaha tuma gA~va-gA~va bhaTake phirate ho! batAo kA~gresa meM tuma kisa zrohade para ho ? provinzIyala ke membara bana sake to bahuta huaa| dekhate nahIM ki lIDara kauna haiM ! vaha haiM jinake pAsa saba-kucha hai| moTI aura pakkI AmadanI aura ba~galA aura moTara aura AzritoM kA dala / taba sevA bhI unako pUchatI hai / tumhArI jaisI sevA nahIM ki jisameM khuda ko bhI ghulA diyA jaay| Adarza ! Adarza kI bAta na kro| vyavahAra dekho aura vyavahAra kahatA hai ki sacAI se caturAI kI adhika kImata hai / dekho mujhe hI do-tIna sAla ke andara dekhanA ki maiM kA~gresa kI tarapha se myunisipailiTI meM hU~gA aura kA~gresa-saGgaThana meM bhI tuma se Age huuN| ayyara, yaha chor3o, vaha rAstA pakar3o jahA~ tumhArI asalI kAbaliyata cmke| kahatA hU~ ki yahA~ tuma eka apanA grupa bnaao| merI sevAe~ apanI samajho / sthAnIya pauliTiksa... bAta isa taraha sthAnIya se deza aura phira videza kI ora phaila clii| vaha rAjanIti ke aura siddhAnta-vAda ke U~ce-U~ce ka~gUroM ko chUtI una para uchalatI phirane lgii| usameM garmI bhI AI / maiMne gA~dhIvAda ko taraha-taraha ke tarkoM se ghAyala kara chodd'aa| mujhe vizvAsa hai ki ayyara kI kaTTaratA hI use surakSita rakha sako. nahIM to gA~dhI-nIti dharAzAyI ho gaI thii| ayyara ne kama prakhara tarka nahIM diye, lekina mere javAba ke zrAge ve sabhI kaTakara raha gae / maiMne kahA, "dekho, ayyara, gA~dhIvAda ke AdhAra para tuma cale

Page #200
saz2A 186 ki merA-tumhArA sAtha nahIM / hama bhArata ko dIna nahIM, sampanna dekhanA cAhate haiM / tuma mujhe bhAvanA meM par3akara dInoM kA samakakSa hone ke lie svayaM dIna banane ko kahate ho| lekina yaha bhrama hai| khuda sampanna banakara apane udAharaNa se dInoM ko sampanna banane kA mArga dikhAnA hogA / inDasTrIyalAIjezana-nahIM, isake binA upAya nhiiN|" ___ayyara ne bhI kucha kahA / para mujhe apanI bAta isalie yAda haiM ki aba ThaNDaka meM deza aura siddhAnta sambandhI taba kI apanI garmI mujhe hI vyaMga mAlUma hotI hai| sArAMza, hama isI taraha kI jarUrI bAteM kara rahe the ki pAsa hI kahIM se dhIme-dhIme uThatA huA zora jora pakar3ane lgaa| kolAhala isa taraha thappar3a kI bhA~ti kAnoM para par3ane lagA ki maiM apanI jagaha se uThA, kahA, "dekhU kyA mAmalA hai ?" __ andara pahu~ca kara pahale sahana ke pAra dUsarA jo sahana hai vahA~ dekhatA hU~ ki ATha-dasa AdamiyoM kI khAsI bhIr3a-sI khar3I huI hai / dekhA to Asa-pAsa ke naukara-cAkara, par3osa kA eka tA~gevAlA, eka darjI aura eka pansArI, isI taraha ke kucha loga vahA~ jamA haiN| bIca meM misarAnI khar3I pukAra-pukAra kara kaha rahI hai ki usase kasama le lo, usake saba mara jAya~, usake badana meM kIr3e par3eM jo usane kucha liyA ho to| vaha ro rahI thI aura duhAI de rahI thii| pAsa hI zrImatIjI khar3I bar3e dhIraja se kaha rahI thIM ki cIkhanecillAne se phAyadA nahIM, dhIre-dhIre bAtoM kA javAba do| ___maiMne kahA, "yaha kyA tamAzA hai ? kyoM kisI ko satAyA jA rahA hai !" zrImatI jI ne DA~Takara kahA, "tumako kisane bulAyA ? kyoM rI! batA tU udhara gaI thI yA nahIM ?"

Page #201
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ]] javAba meM misarAnI ne jora-jora se pukArakara duhAiyA~ dIM -- ki bhagavAn use abhI uThA le jo usane kisI kA koI baTuA dekhA bhI ho / 10 misarAnI kA pakSa lene vAlA eka par3osa kA naukara bolA, "bAbUjI, bahUjI nAhaka hairAna kara rahI haiN| usa bicArI ke bAbU isa vakta haiM nahIM, isI se to ! o rI o ! dikhA kyoM nahIM detI hai ? lo bahUjI ! usakI talAzI le lo, naMgA-jhAr3A le lo| isake Age usakI jAna to nahIM le sakatIM ?" yaha kahakara usa AdamI ne misarAnI kA hAtha pakar3a liyA, kahA, "dikhA rI ! taine kahA~ kyA chipA rakkhA hai ?" kahane ke sAtha usane misarAnI kI dhotI kA chora chuA, dekhate-dekhate misarAnI ne apane Upara AyA huA dhotI kA pallA alaga pheMka diyA aura sirpha colI pahine hue khule sira cunautI ke sAtha kahane lagI, "dekha lo, jo kahIM mere pAsa kucha ho / " usa AdamI ne kahA, "saba dikhA de, jo ina bahUjI ko bisavAsa ho jAya / " kahakara vaha AdamI aura misarAnI bhI udyata hue ki colI aura bAkI dhotI bhI khIMca kara alaga kara dI jAya / zrImatI jI DA~Ta kara aura hAtha se usa AdamI ko pakar3a kara dUra kara diyA / kahA, "badamAza ! hayA nahIM hai ? ( auroM se ) tuma loga kyA dekha rahe ho ? yahA~ kucha tamAzA hai ? jAo ! aura suno e ratanA aura bihArI isako yahIM pakar3e rahanA maiM AtI huuN| AU~ taba taka chor3anA nahIM / " kahakara zrImatI ne sabako vahA~ se dutkAra kara dUra kara diyA / misarAnI dhama se baiTha kara mAthA pITane aura duhAiyA~ dene lagI / aura zrImatI jI use usI hAlata meM chor3a kara calI gaI / merI icchA huI ki maiM bIca meM par3a kara misarAnI ko chuTakArA

Page #202
sajA 161 dilAU~ / yaha dRzya mujhe acchA nahIM mAlUma ho rahA thA / atyanta zIlayuktA dIkhane vAlI nArI lajjA ko isa prakAra se cunautI de uThe yaha mujhe bahuta bIbhatsa mAlUma huA / para zrImatI jI kI yojanA kA mujhe kucha patA na thA isase maiM dakhala na de sakA / to bhI maiMne use dilAsA dI, usake hAtha chur3avA die aura kahA ki dhIraja rkho| mere pAsa Ane aura bolane para misarAnI ne dhotI ko usI taraha apane sira para le liyA / kora mAthe ke Age kara lI aura rokara batAyA, "maiM kucha nahIM jAnatI, maiM bekasUra huuN|" maiM kucha samAdhAna kI bAta kahane vAlA hI thA ki dekhA vaha sahasA uThakara vahA~ se tez2a cAla se jhapaTa calI hai / ratanA aura bihArI pakar3ane ko lapake lekina maiMne unheM roka diyaa| bhAgatI-sI huI vaha apane ghara ke daravAje para phuNcii| pA~casAta minaTa bAda mujhe bhI apane ghara se surajanA bulA kara udhara hI le gyaa| maiM nahIM kaha sakatA ki isake bIca pA~ca-sAta minaTa meM vahA~ kyA huzrA / para pahu~cane para dekhA ki bhIr3a ke bIca meM khar3I misarAnI kaha rahI hai ki baTuA to merA thA / eka dasa kA noTa do rupaye aura itane Ane usameM haiN| vahIM zrImatIjI khar3I pUcha rahI haiM, "aura usameM kyA hai ?" "aura kucha kArAja hoMge, bAkI paisA nahIM hai|" taba sabake sAmane zrImatIjI ne apane hAtha kA baTuA dikhA kara usakA 'z2ipa kholA / andara se tIna nae dasa-dasa ke noTa nikle| ___ yaha dekha kara misarAnI kA ceharA rAkha ho pAyA thaa| para vaha dahAI detI jA rahI thI ki jAne kisa muMha jale ne mere Traka meM baTuA rakha diyA-ityAdi-ityAdi /

Page #203
160 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] zrImatIjI kI taba kI raudra-mUrti kA khyAla AtA hai to aba bhI jAne kyA mana meM hotA hai / para usa vakta una para jaise nazA savAra thaa| unake hAtha meM beMta thii| unhoMne use dikhAkara sirpha eka zabda kahA, "cupa / " __ jAne kyA huA ki misarAnI ekadama cupa par3a gaI / taba zrImatIjI ne khuda Age bar3hakara kahA, "clo|" sabase kahA, "zrApa loga jaaie|" vaha itanI ThaNDI jubAna thI ki jo nikalA vahI huA / usake bAda phira maiM ThIka-ThIka nahIM kaha sakatA ki kyA huA |shriimtiijii se hI jAna ke mAlUma huA ki use vaha eka koTharI meM le gii| vahA~ pUchakara usake sAre jIvana kA itihAsa jAnA / usake bAda usane zanaiH-zanaiH apanA doSa svIkAra kiyA / phira use khuda rAjI kiyA ki use sajA milanI caahie| phira apane hAthoM se, beMtoM se use behada piittaa| ___ aura bAta maiM nahIM jAnatA, ApasI bAtacIta jo unake bIca haI ho / lekina unake veMta se mArane aura usa mAra para misarAnI ke cIkhane kI AvAja maiMne bhI sunI thii| usake tatkAla anantara zrImatIjI AI, oMTha unake nIle the aura hAtha aba bhI kA~pa rahA thA / para ha~sakara ayyara ko unhoMne unakA parsa de diyA / kahA, "dekha lIjie saba Thoka hai|" ayyara ne binA dekhe kahA, "ThIka hai|" bolI, "nahIM, dekha lIjie / " ayyara ne saba cIjeM dekhakara sa~bhAlI, kahA, "saba ThIka hai|" zrImatIjI ne ha~sakara kahA, "dekhiye maiMne kitanI mehanata kI hai / mujhe imAma nahIM dIjiegA ? Apake to rupaye jA hI cuke the, isase saba rupaye bhI apane inAma meM maiM mA~ga lU to bejA nahIM hai|"

Page #204
saz2A 163 ayyara ne vApisa baTuA unhIM ke Age kara diyaa|" zrImatI ha~sakara bolI, "isa mare camar3e kA maiM kyA karU~gI ?" kaha kara cAroM noTa ora do rupaye nikAlakara bAkI baTuA unhIM ko lauTA diyaa| ____maiMne kahA, "minI ! tumheM zarma AnI caahie| usa becArI ko tuma kaise mAra sakI ? kauna jAnatA hai ki kisa bebasI meM usane yaha kAma kiyA hogA!" ____ zrImatIjI ne ha~sakara kahA, "maiM jAnatI huuN| vidhavA ke bhI beTA ho sakatA hai aura usakA lar3akA dUra eka skUla meM par3hatA hai| sAtavIM se aba AThavIM kI par3hAI kregaa| usake lie becArI ko kucha cAhie thA...para corI to corI hI hai|" ___ isake bAda hama donoM samajha gae ki zrImatI ke inAma ke 42) rupaye usa dUra ke lar3ake kI AThavIM kI par3hAI ke kAma meM shraaeNge| phira bhI maiMne sAhasa karake pUchA, "misarAnI kahA~ hai ?" __ zrImatIjI ne gusse meM kahA, "kambakhta abhI marI nahIM hai, sisaka rahI hai|"

Page #205
hatyA Akhira zahara chor3A aura hama loga eka jaGgalI jagaha phuNce| vahA~ eka ovarasiyara rahate haiM, unake atithi hue| . ____ jagaha bar3I suhAvanI hai, aura ekAnta / ekAnta hai, tabhI suhAvanI hai / nahIM to AdamI nAma kA jantu vastu-suhAvanI pAye, aura use suhAvanI chodd'e| rela kA sTezana vahA~ se bAraha mIla hogA, sar3aka ATha mIla, AdamI kI bastI pA~ca mIla / vahA~ basa pahAr3iyA~ haiM, aura vana hai| eka nadI bahatI hai,jise bA~dha se bA~dhakara roka diyA gayA hai| isa taraha vahA~ bar3I jhIla bana gaI hai| usI bA~dha kI dekha-bhAla ke lie yaha ovarasiyara sAhaba yahA~ basate haiN| jhIla meM kiztiyA~ par3I haiM, aura pAnI kI yahA~ sadA bahAra rahatI hai| jaba nadI meM aura jagaha gIlI kIca na mile, taba bhI Apa yahA~ kiztI claaiye| __hamAre vivAha ko barasoM-barasa ho gye| jo patnI banakara mere sAtha Akara milI thIM, vaha haiM, para unheM koI aba patnI nahIM kaha sktaa| hara bAta meM vaha mA~ dIkhatI haiN| isameM ekAnta unhIM kA aparAdha nahIM hai| hama Apasa meM chaH bAlakoM ke mAtA-pitA haiN| idhara pati se adhika maiM bhI pitA ho gayA huuN| 'hanImUna' ke bhI 164

Page #206
hatyA 165 dina hote haiM, aura hamAre sambandha meM bhI ve kabhI the, aba yaha mAlUma karake kucha acaraja, kucha kheda hotA hai| aba to hama bujurga haiM, aura vaha saba kucha avizvasanIya tamAzA-sA lagatA hai / taba, kyA adher3a umara vAle mujhase sunakara Apako isakA vizvAsa hogA ki jaGgala kA kinArA chUte-chUte hama loga paraspara pitA-mAtA nahIM rahe, pati-patnI taka nahIM rahe, jaise premI aura premikA bana gye| lekina, maiM Apako kahatA hU~, zahara zahara hai, jaGgala jaGgala hai / jaGgala meM vanaspati hai, osa hai, ghAsa hai, pAnI hai, AsamAna hai, hariyAlI hai / jaGgala meM qAnUna nahIM hai, adaba nahIM hai, bAjAra nahI hai, AdamI nahIM hai, aphasara nahIM hai / taba jaGgala vaha auSadha kyoM na ho, jise chUkara AdamI meM tAruNya laharA zraye, bur3hApA bhAge, jIvana umaga kara uThe, aura AdamI pazu kI bhA~ti pazu aura devatA kI nAI devatA bana jAya ? mujhe acaraja kA avasara nahIM AyA, jaba maiMne dekhA ki maiM mugdha aura mUrkha kizora banA patnI ke prati raha-rahakara salajja aura raha-rahakara nirlajja hone lagA, aura patnI bhI anajAna kizorI kI bhA~ti vyavahAra karane lagIM / hama jaGgala meM ghAsa para baiThe the| zrI ne kahA, "hama bandUka calAnA sIkheMge / " bAta yaha thI ki pahale roja mitra ke yahA~ bambaI se naI bandUka AI thI / maiMne kahA, " bandUka !" bolIM, "hama to sIkheMge / " maiMne kahA, "acchI bAta hai / jarUra sIkhogI / " bolI, "hama ghor3e para car3heMge / "

Page #207
196 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] maiMne kahA, "acchI bAta hai| jarUra ghor3e para cddh'ogii| para, tuma halkI kama ho / " "hA~, hama moTe haiM, moTe haiN| tuma karate raho tthttholii| aura hama ghor3e para car3hanA jarUra sIkheMge / itihAsa meM itanI vIrAGganAe~ nahIM huI haiM kyA ? aura, aura mulkoM meM jo striyA~ saba-kucha karatI haiN|" maiMne mAnA, jarUra karatI haiN| aura jarUra ghor3e para car3hakara hI chor3anA caahie| aura maiM yoM hI AdamI nahIM hU~ ki merI patnI kitAbI vIrAGganA taka na bane / shraadi-aadi| ___ maiMne batAyA ki zrovarasiyara-sAhaba kI vaha dUsarI gahare badAmI raMga kI ghor3I sIdhI mAlUma hotI hai| kala usI para baiThakara dekho| sabase bar3I bAta na Darane kI hai| jAnavara ko yaha na mAlUma hone denA cAhie ki vaha savAra para hAvI ho sakatA hai| jAnatI ho, Atma-vizvAsa saphalatA kA mantra hai| calakara zrovarasiyara sAhaba se kheNge| aura dekho, usa lar3ake bajjI ko sAtha le lenaa| jAnavara bidakane-bigar3ane lage, to mauke ko AdamI sAtha rahe, yaha acchA hotA hai| zAma ko jaba sAtha baiThe, to maiMne bAtacIta meM mitra se kahA, "aApane do jAnavara kyoM rakha chor3e haiM ? dekhatA hU~, unameM Apasa meM banatI bhI nahIM hai, aura ApakA kAma bhI eka se maje meM cala sakatA hai|" ' vimanaska-bhAva se vaha bole, "hA~, para vaha sapheda ghor3A badamAza hai| badana meM tAqata hai to ulajhe binA nahIM rhtaa| abhI taurasa liyA thaa| kAma meM mustaida hai to kyA yaha matalaba ki auroM ko jIne na degaa| yoM donoM ko maiM bahuterA alaga-alaga rakhatA huuN| para, vaha eka badamAza hai| dUsarI, bur3hiyA hai| "merI mulAjamata kA yaha bIsavA~ sAla laga gayA hai| use bhI bIsavA~ sAla hI samajhiye / naukarI para bahAla hue cauthe mahIne maiMne yaha lI thii|

Page #208
hatyA 167 taba tIna barasa kI bacher3I thii| isane mere sAtha acchI nibaahii| merI peMzana meM aba kucha hI dina hai| AdamI ke mukAbale meM jAnavara kI umara hI kyA hai ? aura merI mulAjamata kA kyA, eka taraha kI aphasarI smjhiye| idhara ina jAnavaroM kI lAcAragI dekhiye| jo de diyA vahI khA liyA, vahI pI liyA, aura rahate rahe / na pazutA kA sukha na parivAra kA sukha / hamAre bojha ko antima dina taka apanI pITha para lekara Dhote rahe, aura dina AyA ki Dhera ho gaye ! so, pArasAla se maiMne usakI peMzana kara dI hai / socatA hU~, insApha yaha thA ki dasa sAla pahale use peMzana de dI jaatii|..." ___"lekina kyoM;" maiMne kahA, "savArI to Apa aba bhI usa para kara lete haiN|" ___ ovarasiyara-sAhaba ne dhIme se kahA, "hA~, kara letA huuN| bacce apane mA~-bApa para savArI nahIM kara liyA karate ?" ___ kahakara unhoMne Upara A~kha uThA kara merI ora dekhaa| usa nigAha kI vedanA mAno mere bhItara taka gii| jiraha meM aura prazna karane kI bAta mere jI nahIM aaii| __vaha kahate rahe, "maiM bilakula savArI na lU~, to ghor3I ko duHkha hogaa| maiM use duHkha nahIM de sakatA / maiM usake mana kI bAta samajhatA huuN| bIsa barasa se hama sAtha haiN| isameM acaraja nahIM hai|" - vaha ghor3I ke sambandha meM isI bhA~ti bahuta-kucha kahate rhe| maiM sunatA rahA / maiMne socA, zrI kI ghor3e para baiThane kI icchA kA aba mujhe kyA banAnA hogaa| unakI bAtoM meM maiM yaha samajha rahA thA ki unakA isa pazu ke sAtha sambandha prayojana aura vyavahAra kA nahIM hai, AtmIyatA kA hai| unake sAmAna aura sampatti kA vaha aMza nahIM hai, unake mAno parivAra kA aMga hai| taba maiM sahasA usake viSaya meM apanI garja kA pradarzana kaise kara baiThU ? unhIM bAtoM ke silasile meM maiMne sunA, vaha kaha rahe haiM-"mere

Page #209
198 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] yahA~ jo Ate haiM, unameM bAlakoM aura mahilAoM se merI icchA rahatI hai ki ve isa para avazya baittheN| ApakI patnI se bhI mai yaha kahane vAlA thA / jo savArI karanA jAnate haiM, ve savArI ke abhimAna meM bhare hue jAnavara kI pITha para baiThate haiN| mAno vaha khuda meM eka jAnavara na hoM / isaliye zAyada Apa se to maiM na khtaa| para jo car3hanA nahIM jAnate unheM lagegA, goda to nahIM, para avazya yaha mA~ kI hI pITha hai| maiM apane liye kabhI use savArI kI pITha nahIM samajhatA / eka taraha kI siMhAsana kI pITha samajhatA huuN| jaba svayaM maiM apanI A~khoM meM uThanA cAhatA hU~. taba maiM usa para AsIna hotA huuN|..." usa samaya maiMne zrI kI icchA kI bAta khii| sunakara mAno vaha kRtArtha hue, aura phira vyasta-bhAva se ghor3I kA varNana karane lge| batAyA, "kaba kahA~ kisa bAlaka ke acAnaka ghor3I kI pITha se lur3haka par3ane para kaise vaha eka-dama cAroM paira sAdha kara khar3I ho gaI thI; bacce ko jarA coTa nahIM Ane dI; kaise kisI-kisI mahilA kI rakSA ke liye banale pazuoM kA usane sAmanA kiyA; kaisI vaha samajhadAra hai, kaisI catura, kaisI bAvaphA, kaisI AtmI. yatA, Adi Adi / " phira pukArA, "bajjI zro, bajjI!" bajjI lar3akA usa ghor3I kA sevaka hai / use do-tIna bAra samajhA kara kahA, "dekho, sabere hI ghor3I ko taiyAra karake lAnA / bilakula sabere, dera na ho|" __ mitra kI Ayu jIvana ke dUsare kinAre kI ora A rahI hai| zarIra ke sAtha mana bhI dhImA hotA gayA hai / aba kama bAteM rahatI jA rahI haiM, jinameM unheM jIne kA utsAha anubhava ho / saMkhyA meM jitanI kama haiM, utane hI vega se vaha unheM pakar3ate haiN| mAno unhoM para Tika kara vaha rahate haiN| aura mAno raha-raha kara vaha TaTola lete

Page #210
hatyA 166 haiM ki ve unake AdhAra unake sAtha hI haiM, nIce se kahIM khisaka to nahIM gaye! ___ bajjI ke cale jAne ke anantara bhI khAsI dera taka mitra ghor3I ko lekara utsAhazIla rahe / anyathA vaha manda aura zithila hI dekhane meM Ate haiN| :2: rAta ko khUba bAriza huI / khaparaila para bauchAra tar3atar3a karatI par3atI / bAdala gar3agar3AtA / bijalI mu~ha camakAtI, aura bhAga jAtI / apane punarjAgRta tAruNya ko hilora meM hameM yaha bahuta acchA lagA / jAna par3A, saba-kucha hama donoM ke lie vimoha kA sAmAna prastuta karane meM lagA hai| ghanA a~dherA aura vipula kolAhala upasthita karake mAno prakRti hameM kAnoMkAna kaha rahI hai, "tuma do ho, aura tuma taruNa ho / bAhara duniyA aura kahIM nahIM hai| sabako kho do / basa, eka-dUsare meM raho, eka-dUsare meM / tumhoM do ho, jo eka ho, zeSa aura kucha nahIM hai|" hama magna the| lekina, hameM kyA mAlUma thA, bAhara vahI prakRti kyA kucha nahIM kara sakatI thii| sabere taka bUMdAbAMdI dhImI ho gaI thii| vaha bhI jaise rukane kI pratIkSA meM thii| zrI soI par3I thiiN| maiMne kahA, "uTho / ghor3e para baiThakara ghUmane jAnA hai ki nahIM ?" unake uThane meM zIghratA nahIM ho skii| lekina uTha hI gaI, taba jAna par3A, ghor3I ke Ane kI pala-pala dera aba unheM asahya hai / pUrI taraha taiyAra nahIM huI ki pUchA, "bajjI lAyA ghor3I ? maiMne kahA, "lAtA hogaa| . bolI, "acchA lAtA hogA! kyoM nahIM use apane kAma kA khayAla rahatA?"

Page #211
200 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] maiMne pukArA, "bajjI, bajjI!" bajjI kA patA nahIM thA / maiMne pukArA, "paguI !" paguI ne Akara batAyA, "bajjI apanI jagaha nahIM hai|" maiMne pUchA, "bAbU kahA~ haiM ?" / zrI ne kahA, "acchA, cAya laao|" paguI jhaTapaTa karake cAya lAyA aura khabara dI, "zrovarasiyara bAbU bhI nahIM haiN|" zrI ne pUchA, "kahA~ gaye haiM ?" paguI cupa khar3A rhaa| zrI ne jora se kahA, "mAlUma nahIM, hameM ghUmane jAnA hai ?" paguI cupa rahA, aura maiMne jaba kahA, 'jAtro', taba vaha calA gyaa| cAya bIca meM lekara maiMne paristhiti kI AlocanA sunanI zurU kii| kahIM-kahIM itastataH svayaM bhI yoga diyaa| pAsa huA ki kahI bAta pUrI na kI jAya, to g2alatI hai, bhArI g2alatI hai, aparAdha hai / isakA kyA artha hotA hai ki koI AzA meM rahe, aura usakA samaya kharAba ho ? kAma nahIM ho sakatA hai, to kyoM nahIM vakta para sApha 'nahIM' kara diyA jAtA / Akhira kahA~ hai aba vaha bajjI, aura kyA hue ovarasiyara-sAhaba ? maiMne kahanA cAhA, "dekho bhAI..." kintu tatkSaNa mujhe mAlUma huA ki marda Adhipatya kA premI hai| yaha bhI mAlUma huA ki ve dina aba gaye, aura satya satya hai, aura sA~ca ko duniyA meM kahIM A~ca nahIM hai, aura strI puruSa kI dAsI nahIM rahegI, aura...

Page #212
hatyA 201 __ maiMne mAna liyA, "Adhipatya kI Adata aitihAsika durbhAgya se merI majjA-majjA meM vyApta ho gaI hogI, aura maiM kSamAprArthI huuN|" ___ isI taraha kI bAtoM ke bIca meM bajjI AyA, aura khabara dI ki bAbUjI, ghor3I kI TA~ga TUTa gaI hai| aba marI smjhiye| zrI sunakara eka dama cintAgrasta ho gii| maiM vajjI ke sAtha meMha meM gayA, aura dekhA, eka per3a ke nIce ghor3I khar3I hai| usakI agalI eka TA~ga puTThoM para se bilakula alaga ho gaI hai / basa, khAla ke sahAre zarIra ke sAtha hilagI huI laTakI hai| use apAra vedanA hai / vaha cala sakatI nahIM, baiTha sakatI nhiiN| donoM ora A~khoM se gAr3he-gAr3he A~sU nikala kara nIce taka A gaye haiN| ve gIle moma kI lakIra kI taraha vahA~ jame hue haiM / ghAva se lahU risa rahA hai, aura bhute| bAhara Akara jama gayA hai / AsapAsa gozta ke chichar3e laTaka rahe haiM / vahA~ maccharoM, makkhiyoM aura bhinagoM kA anta nhiiN| bilakula pAnI meM bhIga rahI hai / sArI rAta bhIgatI rahI hai| mAlUma huA ki usakI yaha hAlata usa badamAza ghor3e ne kI hai| ___ maiMne dekhA, pAsa hI eka ora bhIgate hue mitra khar3e haiN| barasAtI nahIM hai, na chatarI hai / guma khar3e haiM / mujhe nahIM sUjhA, kaise unheM sambodhana karake kucha kahU~, vimUr3ha khar3A raha gyaa| usI samaya tInoM pairoM para jora DAla kara ghor3I ne eka kadama bar3hanA cAhA / vaha gira bhI par3atI, to use caina milatA / para, usa TUTI TA~ga ko lekara Dhera kI taraha par3a jAnA taka bhI usake lie sambhava na rahA / jyoM hI TUTI TA~ga usane dharatI para TekI ki asahya pIr3A se usakI sArI deha kA~pa gaI, muMha para mUrchA kA bhAva ho pAyA, A~khoM meM sota bhara pAyA aura vaha murdA TA~ga phira DaNDe kI taraha zradhara laTaka gaI !

Page #213
202 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] tabhI cala kara mitra mere pAsa aaye| kahA, "clo-clo| yahA~ bhIgane se kyA phAyadA hai|" aura bA~ha meM hAtha DAlakara vaha mujhe le cle| rAha meM pUchA, "hA~, cAya pI lI ?" maiM dekha sakA, isa prazna meM uttara kI apekSA nahIM hai| kucha hai bhItara, jisa taka merI nigAha na pahu~cane dene ke lie mAno yaha prazna mere sAmane DAlA gayA hai| jaise isa prazna kA antara DAla kara apane marmastha darda ko unhoMne mujha se dUra banA lenA cAhA hai| maiMne kahA, "hA~, cAya to pI lii|" bole, "pI lI ? acchA kiyaa| tuma meMha meM bhIgane kyoM vahA~ gaye ? use kauna-sA aba jInA hai ?" maiMne pUchA, "Apa kyA kIjiyegA ?" kucha dera cupa rahakara unhoMne pUchA, "kyA karU~ ?" maiMne kahA, "vaha aba jI to sakatI nhiiN| golI mAra kara khatma kiijiye|" unhoMne A~kha uThAkara mujhe dekhaa| -"mAra dUM ?" maiMne bahuterA cAhA ki kaha sakU~ 'hA~'; para una uThI huI aura phira jhukI huI A~khoM meM maiMne jo dekhA, usake bAda kisI bhA~ti mere jI meM yaha sAhasa nahIM huaa| ___ unhoMne kahA, "nahIM, mujhase nahIM hogA! ThIka kyA hai, kauna jAne / para, mujhase nahIM bnegaa|" maiMne kahA, "Akhira kyA kIjiyegA ?" bole, "kyA karU~ ? abhI to yaha jAnatA hU~ ki dekhUgA, ilAja ho sakatA hai yA nhiiN|" maiMne saMdigdha svara meM kahA, "ilAja ho sakatA hai ?" vaha cupa raha gye|

Page #214
hatyA 203 maiMne kahA, "ilAja aba kyA hogA / minaToM kI to bAta hai|" "maiM nahIM jaantaa|"-khkr phira cupa ho gye| kucha dera meM sahasA unhoMne vyasta bhAva aura baliSTha svara meM pukArA-"bajjI!" jAna par3A, kucha bAta unhoMne pakar3a pAI hai| vahA~ rahane vAle apane saba mAtahatoM ko unhoMne ikaTThA kiyaa| TiNDaila, pataraula, saba ko Asa-pAsa ke gA~va meM bheja diyaa| hidAyata dI, jo isa bAre meM kucha bhI jAnate hoM, saba ko yahA~ le aao| agara ve kucha na kara sakeM, to phaurana jile ke aspatAla meM merI gAr3I meM uThA kara le jAnA / merI bATa mata dekhanA / aura dekhiye munzIjI, kharca kI tarapha mata dekhiyegaa| mujhe Aja jarUrI kAma hai| giTTI napavAnI hai / jaba lauhU~, ghor3I yahA~ na dekhU / samajhA ? ___ una saba logoM ko bheja dene ke bAda mitra phira Apa bhI calane lge| maiMne kahA, "kahA~ jA rahe haiM, cAya to pI liijiye|" bole, "mujhe aba yAda AyA, miTTI napavAnI hai ! bahuta jarUrI kAma hai / muAinA A gayA to muzkila hogii| jaldI lauttuuNgaa| maiMne kahA, "khAne ke vakta taka lauTa aaiyegaa|" kahA, "hA~-hA~, jarUra / " vaha cale gaye, aura maiMne jAna liyA, unakA kAma jaldI samApta nahIM ho paaygaa| vaha itavAra kA dina thA / usa dina bahuta se bhadrevargIya a~gareja aura hindustAnI vahA~ A jAyA karate haiM / sthAna darzanIya hai, aura ramaNIya / sar3aka se lagA huA hamArA sthAna thA, aura hama barAmade meM

Page #215
204 jainendra ko kahAniyA [chaThA bhAga] DrAphTa khela rahe the| kisI bhI khela meM zrI hArane se itanA DaratI haiM ki DrAphTa jaise khela meM barAbara hAratI haiN| jitanA hAratI haiM utanA hI hArane kA Dara aura jItane kI icchA unheM satAtI hai / isalie aura khelatI haiM; aura aura hAratI haiN| aura, aura hAratI haiM, aura aura khelatI haiN| roTI eka tarapha gaI aura khelate-khelate koI eka baja aayaa| kyA jAne yaha bhI batA rahI ho ki ghor3I kI dazA para mana meM jo becainI uThatI thI, use haThAt asvIkRta karane ke liye hama yoM khela rahe the| mana ke hara eka asantoSa ko lekara hama yaha Avazyaka banA lete haiM ki yaha dabA rahe, yA pAsa na aaye| vyastatAoM kA bodha sRSTa karake hama use dabAte haiM, aura vakta TAlakara use dUra haTAte haiN| hama ghor3I kI tAtkAlika paricaryA meM nahIM laga sakate the, taba Avazyaka thA ki kisI bhA~ti itane vyasta raheM ki usakA dhyAna hama se pare rahe / so, zAyada, hama khela rahe the / mitra ko to bhalA abhI lauTanA kyoM thA ? itane meM dekhatA hU~, zrI ekadama uTha kara andara bhAgI jA rahI haiN| maiMne kahA, "kyoM-kyoM ?" jJAta huA ki sAmane se eka aMgreja bhadra-puruSa hamArI ora hI bar3hate hue A rahe haiN| moTara sar3aka para khar3I hai| Akara unhoMne kahA, "sar3aka para eka ghor3I hai| ApakI hai ?" maiMne kahA, "nahIM, para khiye|" | unhoMne pUchA, "Apane usake bAre meM kyA socA hai ?" "nissandeha usakA ilAja karAyA jaaygaa| nahIM to jile ke zahara ke aspatAla meM bhejA jAyagA / hA~, vaha dUra hai|" sajjana-"chabbIsa mIla hai / maiM DAkTara huuN| vaha acchI nahIM ho sktii|" maiM-"Dara to hameM bhI hai| para, bharasaka karanA hamArA kAma hai|

Page #216
hatyA 205 sa0-"nahIM, use golI dAga denI caahie| Apa kaise bardAzta kara sakate haiN|" maiM-"maiM mAlika nahIM huuN|" sa0-"mAlika maiM bhI nahIM huuN| maiM unakA dosta bhI nahIM huuN| lekina, mere lie bardAzta karanA muzkila hai / maiM golI mAra sakatA hU~ ?" maiM-"arja hai, maiM mAlika nahIM huuN|" sA-"mAlika kahA~ haiM ?" maiM-"yahA~ ke ovarasiyara kI yaha ghor3I hai| Apako zAyada Age sar3aka para hI mileN|" s0-"tthiik| na mileM, to Apa unase kaheM, phaurana use zUTa kara deN| nahIM to adharma hai, aura maiM unakI riporTa karane ko majabUra vaha cale gye| zrI ko maiMne phira bulAyA / Ate hI unhoMne kahA, "vaisI hI bAjI lgaao| aba ke tuma kabhI nahIM jIta sakate the| yaha kauna thA ?" ___maiMne usa a~garez2a kI bAta btaaii| pazu kI isa karuNAta dazA ke prati zrI meM sahAnubhUti na thI, so nahIM; para yaha ghor3I jAtigata aura vyaktigata rUpa meM unake nikaTa itanI anAtmIya aura itara koTi kI prANI thI ki use lekara unakA mana vikala hone ko taiyAra na thA / striyA~ strI hotI haiN| maiM socatA hU~, unakA hRdaya komala hai, so vaha kucha vizada bhI hotA to ? meM hI phira soca letA hU~, "nahIM, nahIM, yaha na socuuNgaa|" unhoMne kahA, "yaha a~gareja kauna hote haiM, jo hara bAta meM hamArI. dakhala deMge?" maiMne kahA, "usakI bAta koI bahuta burI to na thii|"

Page #217
206 janendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] ___"lekina vaha kauna hotA hai ? jAnate nahIM, hindustAna gulAma hai| tuma gulAmI karo, lekina, maiM AjAda honA cAhatI huuN|" ___maiMne kahA, "vaha to saba ThIka hai / aura gulAmI meM mujhe bhI bahuta sukha nahIM mila rahA hai / para, a~garez2a hai, isalie yaha to nahIM ki vaha AdamI bhI nahIM hai / aura AdamI ko dayA karane kA kaba adhikAra nahIM hai ?" "acchI dayA hai ki use mAra do!" "aura tumhArI acchI dayA hai ki use maratA huA rahane do!" __ "to jAo na, tuma yaha dayA kA kAma kro| merA pIchA chodd'o|" aura mujhako aura DrAphTa ko chor3akara vaha calI gaI / merI tabIyata, marda hU~ to kyA, yaha na huI ki isa bAra hArU~, aura unako manAU~ / taba maiM vahIM baiThA-baiThA gahana tattva kI bAta socane lagA-isa sRSTi meM kyA sAra hai, kyA asAra hai| tabhI maiMne apane mana meM yaha pratIti bhara pAI ki yahA~ jo-jo asAra hai, saba puruSa hai, sArabhUtA basa strI hai| aura merA yahA~ Thaura-ThikAnA tabhI taka hai, jaba taka kinhIM sArabhUtA kA Azraya mujhe nasIba hai| socA calU, kahU~-"he strI, mujhe kSamA kara,kSamA terI zobhA hai ! bhUla merA kAma hai| he strI kSamA kara, uTha, mujhe bhojana de ! tere hAtha kA bhojana pAne se hI mujha meM kucha sAra banA hai, nahIM to maiM nissAra hU~, nIrasa huuN|" isI vicAra ko soca-socakara maiM zrI ke pAsa jAne ke lie mana majabUta kara rahA thaa| Apa jAnate haiM, vicAra aura kRtya meM sambandha bhI hai| kintu, sambandha puSTa hote-hote unameM abhinnatva sthApita ho hI ki bAdhA par3a gaI / vahI a~gareja sajjana A gye| Ate hI pUchA, "vaha A gaye ?"

Page #218
hatyA maiM-"Apako nahIM mile ?" sa0-"nahIM, mujhe nahIM mile| kaba taka, zrApa 'samajhate haiM, vaha lauTeMge?" ____ maiM, "kyA kaha sakatA hU~ ! aba taka to unheM A jAnA cAhie thaa|" ___sa0-"dekhiye, mujhe jaldI vApasa pahu~canA hai| pichalA eka ghaNTA mujhe unake pAne meM khonA par3A hai| unako isa taraha apane jAnavara ke bAre meM lAparvAha nahIM ho jAnA caahie| merA usase vAstA nahIM hai| lekina, maiM rAta ko sonA cAhatA huuN| mujhe nahIM pasanda ki merA dila merI nIMda harAma kare / jAnavara kaise usa hAlata meM chor3A jA sakatA hai ?....vaha kaba Ae~ge ?" ___maiM-"Apa tazarIpha rakhiye / zAyada lauTate hI hoN|" __ sa0-"kyA mujhe rahanA hogA? lekina, merA bar3A harja ho rahA hai| Adha ghaNTe se jyAdA denA, lekina, nAmumakina hai|...aap unake mitra haiM ?" maiM-"atithi / " sa0-"Apa kyA unakI tarapha se mujhe ijAjata nahIM de sakate ?" ___maiM-"zAyada de bhI sktaa| lekina, unake senTimenTsa kA mujhe khayAla hai|" sa0-"Sentiments !" maiM-"yaha jAnavara bIsa-barasa se unake pAsa hai| jAnate haiM, unakA kyA usake sAtha vAstA hai ? apane hAthoM kabra khoda kara use gAr3anA AsAna nahIM hai|" sa0-"(vinIta bhAva se) maiM samajhatA hU~ / maiM samajha sakatA huuN| para, isI se merI bAta aura bhI mAnI jAnI caahie|"

Page #219
208 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] maiM-"yaha dRSTibindu kI bAta hai| lekina, mujhe ijAjata dIjie ki maiM nivedana karU~, Apa tazarIpha rakheM / yaha kamarA hai / kRpA hogii|" __sa0-"nahIM-nahIM / yaha takalIfa kyoM? hama itane apanI gAr3I meM haiM / kucha dera kI to bAta hai|" kintu merA anurodha hArdika thA, maiMne use DhIlA na kiyA, aura vaha bhI use TAla na ske| apanI sahadharmiNI ko bhI moTara se le. Aye / merA paricaya karAyA, maiMne apanA nAma batA kara sahAyatA kaa| . ___ mahilA ha~sI-"ApakA nAma to ajIba suna par3atA hai / acchA lagatA hai| Apane inheM dekhA ? maiM inase sahamata nahIM huuN| maiM inase sahamata nahIM hotii| maiM kahatI hU~, hara kAma kI z2immedArI le lene vAle hama kauna hai ? hamAre bhAva haiM, to dUsare ke bhI kucha bhAva haiM / hama kauna haiM ki cAheM, hamAre bhAvoM kI rakSA ke lie dUsarA apane bhAvoM kA utsarga kara de / agara yaha bhAvoM kI hI bAta ho to, lekina vaha bhI nahIM hai|" ___ sajana ne asamanjasa meM kahA, "mahAzaya, kSamA kIjie / hama sadA asahamata hote haiN| aura Apa kSamA kareM, agara isakA tamAzA Apake sAmane kiye binA hama na rheN| maiM hAratA hU~ aura kahatA hU~, mere pAsa koI tarka nahIM hai / lekina maiM jAnatA hU~, maiM galata nahIM huuN|" maiM-"maiM nahIM jAnatA..." mahilA-"aura maiM jAnatI hU~, yaha g2alata haiN| aura maiM yaha bhI jAnatI hU~ ki yaha jAnate haiM, yaha galata haiM / kama-se-kama inheM jAnanA caahie| Apako mAlUma nahIM, tIna baje kucha mitra hamAre yahA~ nimantrita haiN| aura inake kahane kA matalaba yaha hai ki inako

Page #220
hatyA 206 mAlUma nahIM ki kisI rAha-par3I kaMjhaTa meM par3a kara usa vakta ko batA denA g2alata hai / maiM kahatI hU~ - " sao - " maiM kahatA hU~, mitra ruSTa na hoNge| hoMge, to hama unase kSamAprArthI ho leMge, aura duhare nimantraNa de leMge / kintu, priya, kyA ina mahAzaya kA apane meM ulajhAnA Avazyaka hai ? ( mujhase ) tamA kIjiegA, hamArA matabheda rahatA hai / mata bhinnatA hI kyA jIvana kA svAda nahIM hai ? para, usako lekara zAyada hama Apake lie ruci - kara nahIM ho rahe haiN| " maiM samajha sakA, ina donoM meM isase pahale bhI vivAda hotA rahA hai, usakI garmI meM eka aparicita ko upasthiti ko ye haThAt bhUlate aura haThAt yAda karate haiN| maiMne kahA, "nahIM-nahIM..." kucha dera bAda sajjana ne ghar3I kI ora dekha kara kahA, - "dekhiye, abhI vaha nahIM aaye| aba merA doSa nahIM hai / apane mitra se kahiyegA, merA doSa nahIM hai / " maiMne praznavAcaka bhAva se unheM dekhA / unhoMne kahA, 66 maiM calA to jA hI rahA hU~ / lekina yaha ThIka nahIM / aura mujhe unakI riporTa jarUra karanI hogI / " maiMne kahA, "kyA maiM eka bAta kaha sakatA hU~ ? mitra anupasthita haiM, isakA kAraNa yaha hai ki ghor3I ke viSaya kI unakI antastha vedanA yahA~ raha kara unheM asahya hotI hai / " mitra ne dhyAnapUrvaka merI bAta ko sunA, phira kahA, " hogA / para yaha ThIka nahIM hai / " kaha kara sajjana apanI sahadharmiNI ke sAtha cale gye| maiM moTara taka sAtha gayA / vahA~ se mahilA ne kahA, " Apase milakara hama sukhI hai / dhanyavAda / " vaha gaye aura maiM nizcinta huA / lauTA, taba bhUla gayA thA

Page #221
210 janendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] ki mere aura zrI ke vIca kucha gar3abar3a bhI huI hai| bhItara pahu~ca kara maiMne kahA, "kahiye sAhaba ?" bolI, "hA~, mema sA'ba se bar3I ghuTa-ghuTa kara bAteM kii| raMga jo gorA hai.| mema mila hI jAtI, taba patA cltaa|" maiMne kahA, "aura tuma kyA kama mema ho| tuma kAlI mema shii|" __ matalaba isI taraha hamAre bIca meM kucha-na-kucha huaa| kucha bigAr3a na ho, to sudhAra kyA ho ? jhagar3A na ho, to mela kA avasara kidhara se Aye ? so, khAne se pahale hama jhagar3e na hote, to khAne ke bAda ke hamAre milana meM miThAsa kA aisA jvAra kisI prakAra banakara na A sakatA / para, burA ho bhAgya kA, jise sukha sahya nahIM hai| usI samaya kahIM pAsa hI se bandUka kA dhar3AkA sunAI diyaa| maiM bAhara barAmade meM aayaa| dekhatA hU~ ki vahI a~garez2a sajjana dhIre-dhIre barAmade kI ora hI bar3hate A rahe haiM / bandUka unake hAtha meM hai| unake Ate hI maiMne pUchA, "Apane ghor3I ko mAra diyA ? yaha ThIka kiyA !" unhoMne zAnta-bhAva se jeba se sau-sau ke do noTa nikAla kara mere sAmane mez2a para rakha diye| usake bAda apane nAma kA kArDa nikAlA, aura usa para apanA pUrA patA likhaa| use bhI mere sAmane meja para rakha diyaa| kahA, "ghor3I do-sau se jyAde kI ho; to Apa mujhase kheN| do-sau ye rakhe haiN| mitra se kahiye, vaha cAheM, to adAlata meM jA sakate haiN| merA pUrA patA usa kArDa para hai| unase yaha bhI kahiye ki mujhe unakI riporTa karanI hogii| merI saphAI thor3I hai| dasa-bIsa mIla jAkara maiM lauTa AyA huuN| maiM apanI nIMda harAma karanA nahIM cAhatA thaa| maiM AyA, aura maiMne ise mAra diyaa| Apa mitra se kahiyegA, vaha adAlata jA sakate haiN|"

Page #222
hatyA 211 maiMne kahanA cAhA ki apane mitra kI ora se maiM unheM dhanyavAda de sakatA hU~, lekina vaha sajjana cale gye| :4: cha:-mAsa bAda mujhe mitra kA patra milaa| likhA thA, do mahIne hue unakI naukarI chUTa gii| maiMne usI kArDa-vAlA patA bhejakara unheM likhA, vaha naukarI cAheM to usa pate se likhane para, mujhe vizvAsa hai, naukarI phira mila jaaygii| maiM nahIM jAnatA, mitra ne merI salAha para ukta patra likhA yA nahIM, yA naukarI milI yA nhiiN|

Page #223
va' ga~vAra vinoda ne kahA, "Apa acchA-burA kahate haiN| maiM nahIM kahatA / AdamiyoM meM kauna acchA, kauna burA ? saba acche saba bure / saba hI apanI-apanI taraha ke haiN| hara eka vaha hai jo hai, apanI taraha kA eka hai / hara koI maiM nahIM hU~ / aura hama saba vaha nahIM haiM / -- unameM zreNiyA~ karane lageM to utanI karanI hoMgI jitanI unakI saMkhyA / phira unameM U~ca-nIca bhI na hogA / - acchAI-burAI hai / arthAt acchAI-burAI, yoM na ho, jIvana kI ceSTA kA janma hai / kucha ko harA kara acchAI apanAne kA uddezya lekara AdamI meM ceSTA kA janma hai / kucha ko harAkara dabA denA hogA, aura, kucha aura taka uTha kara use pA lenA hogA / yaha na ho, yadyapi atyanta vAstava meM yaha nahIM phira bhI hamArI samajha ke lie aisA na ho, to jIvana kA artha hI vilupta ho jAya, hama jI na sakeM / - isa taraha acchAI burAI hai / -- para acche-bure hone ko koI jagaha nahIM hai / acchAI-burAI ko acchI taraha samajha dekheM to acchA-burA mAna kara kAma calAne kI Adata se chUTeM, usa prakAra kI AvazyakatA se Upara ho jAya~ / AdamI hI acchA-burA hone laga jAya, to deva-dAnava kisa lie haiM ? - isalie, ki hama bhUla na kareM 212

Page #224
va' gaMvAra 213. AdamI acchA-burA nahIM hai, AdamI AdamI hai| - AdamI ko pyAra karo, burAI kA pAtaka dAnava ke mAthe DAlo / -- jAnate ho mahAcAra kA paimAnA lekara, jhaTa nApa-tola kara, AdamiyoM para acche-bure kA lebila cipakA dekara kAma calAne kI bAna DAla lene kA kyA pariNAma huA ? - hama meM viSamatA phUTa uThI hai, hamAre bIca meM se prema uTha gayA hai / jAnate ho, eka ko sadAcArI kahakara use sAmAjika sammAna de uThane, aura dUsare ko durAcArI kahakara use jela meM ThUMsa dene ko udyata rahane kA kyA pariNAma huA hai ? - samasyAe~ bar3hI haiM aura hama hIna raha gaye haiM / " 1 vinoda bolatA rahA / aura kisI ko bIca meM kucha kahane kA avakAza jaise usane- nahIM diyA 66... "aura jAnate ho, kyA pariNAma huA hai ? loga lebila para jAte haiM / jisako sadAcArI samajha liyA jAtA hai, vaha apane ko durAcArI samajhanA chor3a detA hai / hama use yaha samajhane meM madada dete haiM, aura phalataH vaha dambhI banatA hai / isa taraha Aja dekhate haiM ki jo bhadra mAne jAte haiM usI zreNI ke logoM meM, vastutaH, acche banane kI cintA kI sabase adhika jarUrata hai| unake hAtha meM zAsana-daNDa hai, samAja- daNDa hai, mAno, vaha aba zaitAna bana jAya~ to bhI sajjana haiM / dambha una meM jama kara hai / jahA~ zrAtmanirIkSaNa kI vRtti honI cAhie vahA~ pasara-kara AlocanA baiThI hai / ... hama jo yahA~ haiM, sambhrAnta haiN| maiM kahatA hU~, hama tanika bhI sambhrAnta nahIM haiM / hama basa kaThina haiM / A~sU hamAre pAsa kama haiM, hRdaya hamArA paruSa hai, anubhUtihIna ho sakA hai, so hI hama paisevAle, saMskRti, zikSA aura sabhyatAvAle bhale loga haiN| vaha dina Aye ki hamArI dhAraNA DhIlI ho ki hama sabhya, zikSita, saMskRta, sammAnanIya haiN| taba hama sahasA hI dekha uTheMge, hama kaise adhama, nimna haiM / unase bure haiM jinheM hama burA samajhate haiN| ..."

Page #225
214 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] vinoda yahA~ kucha ThaharA, dekhA, mAno kahA, "zaGkA ho to karo, aura nivAraNa karo, nahIM to vaha Age bddh'e|" hama saba suna rahe the| vinoda sabakA virodha lene ko taiyAra hokara kabhI aisI bAteM kaha uThatA hai jinheM samajhane kI hama kabhI jarUrata nahIM smjhte| na kahU~gA, ve anasamajhI kI bAteM haiN| aisA kahane meM merI ochI bhI hogii| kyoMki vinoda kI vicArazIlatA kI una para dhAka hai, jinakI mujha para dhAka hai / hogI una para dhAka / apanI ve jAneM / jo karatA hai, hameM to usa meM kucha luka milatA nhiiN| pahale to samajha nahIM paatiiN| sau meM eka bAta samajhe bhI to bemajA / sira khapAo taba smjho| aura aise samajhane se kyA hAtha Aye, patA nhiiN| ___ hama meM se eka ne pUchA, "vinoda yaha kyA kaha rahe ho ? jAnate haiM, tuma bahuta jAnate ho / para bAta sa~bhAla kara kho|" / vinoda musakarA kara raha gyaa| mAnoM kahA, "sa~bhAla kara vaha kahe jo sa~bhalA na ho, yA jise zaGkA ho|" mitra bole, "tumane kahA, vaha dUsare zabdoM meM yaha hai ki AdamI meM acchAI-burAI hai; para, jisameM acchAI hai vaha acchA nahIM; burAI hai, vaha burA nahIM ! kyoM yahI na ?" aura mitra jora se ha~se-ahahaha hamane dekhA ki vinoda aba pha~sA / use patA na hogA, bAtoM kA jo jhamelA-sA khar3A kara rahA hai, una meM Apa hI phaMsanA hogaa| vinoda-"ThIka yahI maiMne kahA ?" mitra jaise ha~sanA cAha kara bhI nahIM ha~sa sake / bole, "phira acchAI-burAI AdamI ke bhItara hone kA matalaba ? aura phira burAI dUra karake acchAI apane bhItara lAne meM saceSTa hone kA athe ? acche-bure jaba hama ho hI nahIM sakate, to kahA~ kA pApavApha, chor3eM saba jhagar3e ko|" . . .

Page #226
va' gaMvAra 215 mujhe yaha acchA nahIM lgtaa| aura nahIM, to pApa-puNya para hI khapo / yaha to nahIM ki kucha kAma kI bAta ho| na ho, eka latIphA hI shii| __ maiMne kahA, "vinoda, chor3o isa jhaMjhaTa ko| na koI acchA sahI, na burA shii| phira bhI, acchAI-burAI shii| jo kaho, mAnA / para, vinoda, koI maje kI cIja sunAo, koI latIfA sunaao|" vinoda-"kahAnI hI sunAtA huuN| usI kA yaha sira hai / yA kaho pU~cha hai| AdamI eka aisA jAnavara hai jo binA pU~cha hai| isase binA-sira ho vaha, to bhI mujAyakA nahIM / para, kahAnI vaisA jAnavara nahIM |"aur, maiM phaizana nahIM jaantaa| phaizana jAnane ke lie rukanA bhI nahIM caahtaa| hA~, vaha Apa kA artha ? usI artha para jora dene kA merA yatna hai| maiM cAhatA hU~, kucha ho hamAre lie jo hameM sadA asvIkArya ho, eka niSedha kA AdhAra, jisase hamArA sambandha niSedha kA, khaNDana kA, yuddha kA hI ho / jisake sAtha samajhautA hama kisI bhI bhA~ti na kreN| usI ko maiM kahatA hU~ 'burAI / ' phira vaha bhI kucha hamAre sAtha ho jo saba yuddhoM meM hamArI Teka rhe| vahI acchAI, vahI satya / isa taraha satya ko aura asatya ko atyanta svayaMsiddha Positive banAkara hama jIe~ / taba dekheMge, hama sadA lar3ate hI calate haiN| satya ke prati nirantara lagana asatya ke prati nirapavAda anasamajhaute ke bhAva se hameM bharA rakhatI hai| aba, maiM yaha bhI cAhatA hU~ ki prANImAtra ke,-vastu-mAtra ke sAtha hamArA aikya ho, prema kA sambandha ho / yahIM vaha tumhArA artha AtA hai| hama burAI se sadA lar3eMge hii| aura koI cArA nahIM hai, koI bacAva nahIM hai| para jisameM burAI hai, isa kAraNa, kyA usase prema-bhAva rakhane se hama vaJcita ho jAya~ ? nahIM, isakI ijAjata nahIM hai / isI se maiM kahatA hU~ ki

Page #227
216 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] hama mAneM, burAI jisa meM hai, vaha burA nahIM hai| merI usa bAta kA artha yahI hai| acchAI ko bhI manuSya se isI bhA~ti hama alaga karake samajheM / taba hamArA logoM meM samabhAva sthira ho / yaha samajha kara caleM, tabhI trANa hai| isI se maiM 'sadAcAra' kA upadezaka nahIM hU~, virodhI hU~ / kyoMki, usa se dambha bar3hatA hai| maiM samajhatA hU~, merI bAta Apa kI samajha meM A rahI hai / " koI yaha mAnane ko taiyAra na thA ki bAta unakI samajha meM nahIM A rahI / aura saba yaha mAna rahe the ki bAta samajha meM A rahI haiM, aura yaha bhI samajha meM A rahA hai ki vaha vyartha hai / 1 * para mere pAsa pratiSThA kI koI gaTharI nahIM hai, jisakI rakSA kI mujhe cintA rahe / maiMne kahA, "vinoda, maiM tumheM isa taraha kI bAta aura na karane dU~gA, jisakA sira nahIM dikhatA, paira nahIM dikhatA, para peTa aisA dIkha par3atA hai ki usameM duniyA kho jAya / tuma jaba kahAniyA~ kaha sakate ho, phira aisI vAhiyAta bAteM kyoM le baiThate ho ? aura.." vinoda ne kahA, "eka dina maiM..." aba hamAre jI meM jI AyA, aura TA~ga phailAkara, apanIapanI kursiyoM meM sa~bhalakara hama baiTha rahe / : 2 : vinoda ne kahA " eka dina maiM phira vidyAdhara ke yahA~ jAne kI jarUrata meM par3a gayA / mitra vidyAdhara ko Apa na jAnate hoMge / ApakI lAina kI koI liyAkata usameM nahIM hai ki Apa use jAneM / vidyAdhara sarvathA sAdhAraNa hai / eka sabhA ke daphtara meM klarka hai| aura muzkila yaha hai ki barasoM barasa apanI nija kI ceSTA se hamArI sambhrAnta zreNI - se vicchinna hokara vaha sAdhAraNa banA hai| khaira, kucha ho, mere lie

Page #228
va' gaMvAra 217. usakI bar3I liyAkata yaha hai ki vaha apane ko lAyaka nahIM samajhatA / maiM bhI bahuta usase nahIM milatA / jarUrata hotI hai, tabhI milatA hU~ / jarUrata kyoM honI cAhie, yaha Apa pUcha sakate haiM / hama sambhrAnta kaise, jo nimna se milane kI jarUrata hameM ho ! kintu maiM Apa se kahatA hU~, maiM apane ko lekara kabhI-kabhI bar3I duvidhA, bar3e kleza meM ho jAtA hU~ / phUTa-phUTakara mujhe apane A~sU bahAne hote haiM / yahA~ Apake sAmane vijJa dhImAn banakara ghaNToM ha~satA huA jo bar3I bAteM sunAtA rahatA hU~, so isI kAraNa ki ghar3I - Adha ghar3I akele meM kisI ajJeya ke mAmane, dharatI para loTakara, apane ko zrajJa nimmAtinimna banAkara ro liyA karatA hU~ / khaira, jaba jI aisA hotA hai, be-kAbU ho jAtA hai, bhItara se phaTakara bahanA cAhatA hai, aura mujhe cAroM ora eka USma usA~sa kA valaya ghumar3atA huA aisA dIkhatA hai jaise vikala ho, hAya ! ki vaha tarala hokara Tapa Tapa Tapaka kyoM nahIM jAtA, taba maiM cupa, sira hAtha meM lekara baiTha rahatA hU~, kahIM nahIM jAtA / aura, kucha rukakara vidyAdhara ke yahA~ jAtA hU~ / maiMne vidyAdhara ke kamare meM praveza kiyA aura dekhA ki ekaAdamI jUtoM ke pAsa, TATa para, kamare kI chata dekhatA huA baiThA hai aura vidyAdhara meja para ciTThI likhane meM lagA huA hai| maiMne a~garejI meM vidyAdhara se kahA, "vidyAdhara, yaha kise biThAla rakhA hai ?" vidyAdhara ne eka sAtha meja para se mu~ha uThAyA, "kyA !" usane bhI dekhA ki eka AdamI baiThA huA hai| jaise use yaha patA na thA / vidyAdhara ne usase kahA, "maiMne Apase kaha diyA thA, svAmI jI yahA~ nahIM haiN| mujhe mAlUma na thA, phira bhI Apa baiThe hI rahe haiM / "

Page #229
220 jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga] diyA ki A~kheM khula AI / hama a~dhiyAre meM sote par3e the| syAmI jI ne aisA jagAyA, ki janama-janama jasa maaneNge| " pandraha rupaye mAsika pAkara isa sabhA kA vaha nikammA upadezaka svAmI, jo gA~va-gA~va upadeza detA DolatA hai aura jo kisI ora se kucha nahIM hai; nitAnta binA peMdI, binA sira hai, aura jo peTahI-peTa hai; usI akarmaNya kA yaha ga~vAra jasa gA rahA hai ! maiMne apanA mAthA Thoka liyaa| pUchA, "to baiThe kaise ho ?" usane kahA, "jI syAmI to haiM nhiiN| baiThA thA ki ina bAbUjI ko phursata ho to kahU~, kucha jJAna kA upadesa sunA deN|" maiMne kahA, "inako to phursata nahIM ho sakegI! aura yaha upadeza bhI nahIM sunAyA krte|" vaha bolA, "hA~ jI, upadesa to basa syAmI jI dete haiM / cita paraphullita ho jAtA hai / para, hama jaisoM ko inakA hI bahuta hai"aura, soI, maiM dekha rahA hU~. bAbUjI ko phurasata nahIM hogii| aura maiM cupa baiTThA hU~, kucha kaha nahIM rahA huuN|" maiMne kahA, "to phijUla kyoM baiThate ho ?" vaha aparAdhI kI bhA~ti trasta ho uThA / ".. 'jI, maiMne pUcha lI thI, haraja to nahIM kara rahA hU~ / haraja kara rahA hoU~, to maiM abhI uThakara calA jAtA huuN| maiM to yoM hI baiThA thA, baiTThA, sAntI kI bAta kucha soca rahA thA / " maiMne kahA, "haraja kI bAta nahIM, tumhArA vakta bhI to kharAva hotA hai / tumako aura bhI to dasa kAma hoMge / gA~va vAle bekAma nahIM hote|" ____usane kahA, "bakhata to, jI, yahA~ merA acchA hotA hai / kharAba gAma meM hotA hai, aisA kharAba hotA hai ki jI, hapte-ke-hapte yahIM A kara baiTha jAyA karU~gA aura, kAma to lagA hI rahatA hai / jahA~ peTa

Page #230
va' gaeNvAra 221 hai, vahA~ kAma hai| para, eka roja kabhI-kabhI bhagavAna ke nAma kA bhI to denA caahie| kAma se khAlI eka dina bhI nahIM rakheMge to use kyA deNge| so aAja ke roja to maiMne saGkalpa kiyA hai ki maiM koI kAma kI bAta nahIM socuuNgaa| ye hI svAmI jI ne kahA thaa| kahA thA, "bhAgavAno bhagavAna ko kucha do|" so taba rupayA-paisA jo sakatI thI diyaa| unhoMne ye bhI kahA thA 'sAtaveM-AThaveM eka dina bhI bhagavAna ke nAma kA nikAlA karo jisa roja koI kukarama nahIM karanA, sAntI-citta se rhnaa|' so maiMne Aja kA roz2a rakha liyA hai, Aja meM kAma kI koI bAta nahIM socgaa| paramAratha kI saba bAta socU~ gA / " cupa rahA / maiM samajha gayA, yahA~ merI eka na clegii| maiM hAra baiThA / vaha ga~vAra bhI cupa ho rhaa| ___maiMne kahA, "vidyAdhara, jAne yaha AdamI kahA~ se A marA hai| isane mujhe halkA kara diyA hai| jI hotA hai, isa ga~vAra para, roSa kyA karU~, ha~sa pdd'e| kyA vicitra jIva hai !...aba mujhase apanI bAta kahate kyA bnegii| aura yaha bhI yahA~ se kyA TalegA!" vidyAdhara ne kahA, "vinoda, tuma vizvAsa rakha sakate ho, yaha AdamI svayaM apane mana ke bhItara isa samaya halkA nahIM hai| isake sAtha bhI kucha hai jo gA~Tha kI taraha banda hai, aura bhArI hai|" maiM cupa ho gayA / sabhI cupa the| aise kucha dera niklii| tabhI ga~vAra ne kahA, "jI, mere pAsa pacAsa rupaye haiN| maiM unheM kahA~ dAna karU~ ?" hama donoM ne usakI ora dekhaa| kyA vaha pacAsa rupaye dAna dene ke lie Akara hI vahA~ jUtoM ke pAsa apanA sthAna banAkara baiThA hai ? "jI, merI AmadanI Der3ha sau rupayA mahAvAra se jyAdA kI

Page #231
222 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] nahIM hai| hiyAva aura karU~, aura dayA kama pAlU, aura usI ke pIche par3A rahU~, to kucha aura bar3ha sakatI hai| bar3ha-se-bar3ha do-sau ho jaaygii| para mujhe aise do-sau kA kyA karanA hai| Der3ha-sau kA ThIka-ThiyAva mujha se nahIM hotaa| mere eka lar3akA hai jo umara vAlA ho gayA hai| vaha merI phikara kara sakatA hai, so usakI mujhe phikara nahIM hai| Apa khAne joga usake pAsa hai, so bahuta hai| pacAsa rupaye meM hamArA kharaca khUba cala jAtA hai, usameM se bhIr3a par3e ke lie kucha bacAkara bhI rakha sakate haiN| so maiMne socA hai, sau rupayA mahIne-ke-mahIne maiM kisI bhagavAn ke kAma meM lagA diyA kruuNgaa| hara pakhavAr3e maiM Apa Akara pacAsa-pacAsa de jAyA kruuNgaa| bAbU jI, mujhe batAo maiM rupaye kahA~ de jAyA karU~ ? aisI jagaha batAo jahA~ dekara do dInoM ko sukha mile, aura bhagavAn bhI AsIravAda deM, aura mere citta ko bhI khUba sAntI mile|..." vidyAdhara ne kahA, "tumako cAhie, tuma yaha rupayA kisI ko na do / rupayA lene vAle saba haiN| para jo dene vAle haiM unheM maiM kahatA hU~, na deN|" ___ usane kahA, "bAbU jI, mere citta ko sAntI nahIM hai| kaise ho sakatA hai, maiM nahIM huuN| maiM to apane svAratha ko detA huuN|" vidyAdhara ne anAthAzrama kA patA batAkara kahA, "to jaao| vahA~ denA, aura pacAsa kI rasIda le aanaa|" usane mAno hAtha jor3akara kahA, "bAbU jI, dekara maiM phira yahIM A jaauuN| maiM rAta se pahale gAma nahIM pahuMcanA caahtaa| Apa Thaura deM do to sabere jAU~-rAta yahIM kATa duuN|" vidyAdhara ne kahA, "hA~, dekara yahA~ Ao, taba dekhA jaaygaa|" vaha ga~vAra bahuta dhanyavAda detA huA vahA~ se calA gyaa|

Page #232
va' gaMvAra 223 : 3 : vidyAdhara ne kahA, "dekhate ho ? aba tuma apanI bAta zurU kara sakate ho / " kintu, maiM apanI bAta zurU nahIM kara sakatA thA / mana kI sthiti vaha nahIM raha gaI thii| mujha para asara par3A thA / maiM jAnanA cAhatA thA ki kyA lekara usa ga~vAra meM yaha pAgalapana uThA hai ki rupaye de DAlanA cAhatA hai, pAsa nahIM rakhanA cAhatA / aura isa jamAne meM sau rupaye jaisI rakama ko pratimAsa de DAlane kA sAmarthya aura gaurava apane pAsa rakhate hue bhI vaha kisa bhA~ti itanA gauravahIna, garvahIna, vinayAvanata haiM ki jUtoM ke pAsa baiThatA hai, ririyAkara bolatA hai, Upara A~kha milAkara nahIM dekhatA / yaha mAtra ajJatA hai ? majjAgata nimnatA hai ? - kyA hai ? aura jo bhI hai, kyA vaha anupAdeya hai, heya hai ? mere mana kI bAta mana meM hI gar3akara nIce raha gaI, Upara yaha ga~vAra kI bAta kara phaila gii| maiMne kahA, "vidyAdhara, apanI bAta kahU~gA / kahe binA rahA jAyagA ? nahIM rahA jAyagA / para isake lie phira kabhI AnA hogA / ... vidyAdhara, maiM kyA asahiSNu hU~, maiMne kyA jindagI meM kucha kama sahA hai, kama jAnA hai, kama sIkhA hai ? para, isa bItI ke sAmane maiM sabakA saba rakhA raha gayA hU~ 1 kidhara se bhI merA kucha basa nahIM calatA / usameM mere prati aisI upekSA basI hai ki jaba dekhatA hU~, jI hotA hai pahale golI mAra dU~, phira cUma lU~, phira apane sIne meM golI mArakara, saba sAdha ke sAtha, Apa ThaNDA ho jaauuN| yahI nahIM, to aisA hI kucha, aba taka kabhI kA ho jAtA / - para, socA, tuma ho / maiM nahIM marU~gA / " chaila bihArI ne kahA, "vinoda, vinoda, yaha saba kucha tumane

Page #233
224 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] kahA ? usa vidyAdhara se tumane tumane ! yaha kahA ? saca bolo ? yaha saca kahA?" vinoda ne apanI vahI vinodazola dRSTi hama-saba logoM ke Upara uThA kara hameM dekhaa| bolA," hA~, vidyAdhara se hI yaha kahA / kyA aura kisI se kaha sakatA thA ? kaha sakatA hU~ ? aura kyA vidyAdhara se jhUTha kaha sakatA hU~ ?...tuma mujhe vinoda jAnate ho / vinoda hU~, para AdamI huuN|" - aura maiMne vidyAdhara se kahA, "nahIM maiM na mruuNgaa| aura koI isa taraha kA kAma nahIM kruuNgaa| yahI to hai AzA ke zava ko jI meM liye raha kara jiU~gA, taba-taka jaba-taka ki yA to usa zava meM sA~sa cala Aye, yA use dAha kara bhasma kara dU~ |...lekin abhI maiM bhI na kahU~gA, tuma bhI na sunoge / hamAre bIca meM rAha kATakara yaha ga~vAra A nikalA hai| isako apanI rAha te karate hue hamAre bIca meM se nikala jAne do| taba tuma sunoge, aura taba maiM khuuNgaa| abhI to, vidyAdhara, maiM jAtA huuN| vaha AdamI lauTakara phira tumheM milegA / usakI bAta maiM jAnanA cAhatA huuN| ho to milnaa| tuma to kabhI ghara Ate nhiiN| zAyada hI kahIM jAte hoge| tuma aise hI bane ho / maiM tuma para IrSyA karatA hU~, vidyAdhara, IrSyA / to, tuma nahIM pAoge ? khaira, maiM hI aauuNgaa|" vidyAdhara ne kahA, "vinoda, bahuta ThIka huA hai ki bIca meM vaha AdamI pAyA hai| maiM kahatA hU~, usake bhItara bhI kahIM gaharA cIrA lagA hai| para; usakA darda tuma se bhinna hai| vaha khiMcanA nahIM, mur3anA cAhatA hai| duniyA meM aisA hI hai| koI apharA hai, koI bhUkhA hai / eka ko cUrana cAhie dUsare ko nAja ke darzana nhiiN| para, vinoda, vakta bar3I cIja hai / usakA nAma kAla hai, para amRta bhI koI aura nahIM hai / kAla amRta hai| apanI rAha jAye jAo, dina Ane-jAne do aura bItate jAne do,-gahare-se-gaharA ghAva

Page #234
va' gaivAra 225 nahIM jo isa vidha bhara na jAya / mujhase avazya kaho, para, yaha bhI avazya kro| prema gaDDhA chor3a jAtA hai, kAla kA kAma hai baiThA-baThA, aise gaDDhoM ko bhre| vaha prema bhayAvaha hai jisameM prabhAva nahIM tRpti hai, vaha tabhI taba ghRNya ho uThatA hai| usameM kavitA nahIM rahatI, mAnavatA nahIM rahatI; nirI kAmukatA rahatI hai| prema prema taba hai jaba donoM ora abhAva hai, donoM ora AzA zeSa hai, nirAzA vartamAna hai| usa abhAvamaya bhAva aura AzA-siMcita nirAzA kI dhUnI dekara jaba hama virATa kI AratI karate haiM, kahate haiM-he rAma, maiM pratikSaNa mara rahA hU~, para tere liye jI rahA hU~, tabhI hameM Alokamaya jIvana kI sphUrti prApta hotI hai| vinoda, jo isa taraha eka bAra marakara jiyA hai usane jIvana kA svAda jAnA hai| ...vinoda, nirAzA se chuTTI pAne ke liye mata maro, use apanA lo, aura use nirmAlya banA lo| devatA ko tumhArI niHzalya vedanA kA arghya hI sarvapriya hogA / isI bhA~ti tuma nirveda hoge|" ___Apa logoM se maiM kahU~, vidyAdhara ne yaha saba kahA, para lagA, jaise vaha apane ko hI kaha rahA hai, mujhe nahIM kaha rahA hai| jaba vaha isa taraha kahatA hai, mujhe atIva sukha hotA hai| maiM hI hU~ jo usake hRnmarma meM se aisI guhya paramAkA~kSA ke khiMca Akara bAhara uddIpta ho uThane meM upayukta upalakSya banakara kAma AtA hU~, yaha pAkara mujhe sukha hotA hai| maiM vahA~ aura nahIM ThaharA, calA aayaa| "kyA Apa samajhate haiM, vaha vidyAdharai phira mere yahA~ pAyA ? para, maiM kaha rahA hU~, vaha paayaa| maiMne kahA, "pAyo ! dhanya bhAgya !" usane kahA, "vaha AdamI lauTa kara AyA thaa| aura maiM sama

Page #235
226 jainendra kI kahAniyAM [chaThA bhAga] jhatA hU~, prati maGgalavAra ko AyA kregaa| usane eka pratijJA lI hai / pratidina use doharAtA hai aura lagabhaga pratidina use tor3atA bhI hai| abhAgA usI trAsa meM sAntvanA khojatA maGgalavAra ko mere daphtara meM Akara baiThA karegA aura hara dUsare maGgalavAra ko dAna ke pacAsa rupaye lAyA karegA / vinoda, tuma kucha samajha sakate ho?" ___ maiM kucha bhI nahIM samajha skaa| vidyAvara ne kahA, "apane gA~va kA pA~ca Ane hisse kA vaha jamIMdAra hai / dharma kI ora usakI ruci rahI hai / jalase-sabhAoM meM hissA letA rahA hai / paiMtIsa varSa kI avasthA se vidhura hai| lar3akA usakA taba ATha varSa kA thaa| aba vaha unnIsa varSa kA hai| basa eka sAla bAda kI bAta hai : gA~va meM eka puniyA rahatI thii| acche calana kI vaha nahIM samajhI jAtI thii| isa AdamI kA usase dUra kA kucha nAtA bhI thA / bacapana se vidhavA thI, auroM kI vaha sunI-anasunI kara detI thI, isakI kahana use sAlatI thii| vaha ijjata karatI thI to isI AdamI kii| auroM se bharI-rAha rAra karate use kucha nahIM hotA thaa| isake sAmane A~kha Upara uThAnA bhArI ho jAtA thaa| ___ eka dina kisI ne kucha sunA thA, yA dekhA thA, yA kyA, ki logoM ne puniyA ke dvAra para Akara khola-kholakara use kharI-khoTI sunAnI zurU kara dii| vaha taba bhI sAmane mukAbale ko nikala AI aura bakane lgii| ___ itane meM yaha AdamI udhara ko niklaa| hajUma dekhakara udhara jo calA to dekhatA hai ki yahA~ yaha ho rahA hai ! sIdhe pahu~ca kara do thappar3a puniyA ko jamAye / puniyA mAre lAja ke bilakula cupa ho gii| eka zabda Age mu~ha se nahIM nikAla

Page #236
va' gavAra 227 skii| isane use burA-bhalA kahakara, dhakkA dekara bhItara kara diyaa| phira sAmane ikaTTha logoM ko lalakAra kara, DarA-dhamakA kara, alahadA kiyaa| loga burI-bhalI kahate-sunate rAha lge| usake bAda isane ghara ke bhItara pahu~cakara kahA, "kulacchanI, tujhe yA nahIM hai| aisA hiyAva terA ki khule cauMtare madoM se rAra karatI hai !" puniyA ghughaTa meM thii| usI meM banda , cupa rhii| isane kahA, "abakI kucha huA, kAlA muha karake gA~va se bAhara karavA dUMgA, jo kucha samajhatI hai| nahIM to, AbarU se raha / " vaha apane mAthe kI coTa ko lekara alaga baiTha rhii| dharatI ko coTa dekara paira paTakatA huA yaha zrAdamI apane ghara A gyaa| lekina logoM meM carcA phailI, AlocanA huii| aura maukA pAkara ve phira puniyA ke dvAra ikaThTha ho gaye, aura isI AdamI kA nAma le-lekara bhA~ti-bhA~ti ke vyaMga-bANa bhItara pheMkane lge| ___ mAlUma karake yaha AdamI turanta vahA~ phuNcaa| ekatrita samUha ko sambodhana kara bolA, "behayAo, tuma marda nahIM ho, jAnavara ho| haTo, puniyA mere yahA~ rhegii| phira dekheM, kauna kyA kahatA hai ? calo, uttho|" puniyA nahIM uThI, cU~ghaTa meM baiThI rhii| vaha rotI thii| "uThatI hai ?" vaha nahIM utthii| jhaTaka kara usakA hAtha pakar3a kara uThAte hue kahA"cala, uTha / abhI cala, kambakhta ! nahIM calatI ?"

Page #237
jainendra kI kahAniyA~ [chaThA bhAga ] taba puniyA uThI aura dhIme-dhIme Daga Daga bar3hI | usa ghara meM tAlA DAla kara, binA kucha kahe sune, cupa puniyA ke pIche-pIche vaha apane ghara A gyaa| logoM meM sannATA rhaa| donoM ghara pahu~ca gaye, taba sabake mu~ha khula pdd'e| isako dasa sAla ho gaye haiM / / 228 aura, aura phira kyA huA ? eka bAlaka bhI hukA, jo mara gyaa| para jo huA, vaha kahatA hai, puniyA kA doSa nahIM hai / apane svarga ko aura paraloka ko bandhaka rakhakara, hA hA khAkara, kahatA hai, puniyA kA doSa nahIM hai| pazu vahI hai, vahI hai ! usane pratijJA kI hai / kara-kara ke hAra cukA hai, para kauna bhAgavAna dina hai jaba vaha nahIM TUTatI / kahatA hai, maiM kyA karU~, maiM saba kucha karake hAra baiThA hU~, para use sAmane pAtA hU~ to saba bhUla jAtA huuN| aura kahatA hai, vaha aisI satI hai ki satajuga meM bhI eka hI thI / ... puniyA to puNya kI pratimA hai| para, hAya, jAne usako, usako khuda ko, kyA ho jAtA hai ki aura pratijJA kAyama na rakha sakane ke sAtha yaha bhI usake bhItara kasaka hai ki vaha puniyA ko jIta nahIM sakA hai / puniyA usake sAtha saba-kucha meM se gujara kara sadA nirvikAra hI rahatI AI hai| kabhI bhI udvigna, avaza, bekAbU, mohApanna, lomaharSa, nahIM ho uThI / vinoda, isalie yaha sau rupayA mAsika kA dAna hai, aura maMgala parva kA vrata hai / vinoda, isa taraha AdamI calatA hai !" : 5 : vinoda ne kahA, "isalie maiM kahatA hU~ hama sAvadhAna raheM, kyA acchA, kyA burA ?" maiMne kahA, "vinoda, usa ga~vAra kI kahAnI huI, aura dUra

Page #238
va' gaMvAra 226 huI / lekina, jisakI jhA~kI hama le cuke haiM, usa tumhArI kahAnI ko hama tumase vasUla karake chodd'eNge|" mitra ne kahA, "acche-bure kI bAta tumhArI saba phijUla hai| hameM vaisI bAteM nahIM caahieN| unake lie hama kitAbeM par3a leNge| tumase kucha kitAboM se tAjA cIja, halakI cIja, tabIyata kI cIz2a cAhate haiN| aisI bAtoM ko haTA do to tumhArI kahAnI kharA sonA ho jAya, kharA sonA / isa taraha kI idhara-udhara ko bematalaba bAtoM se tumheM use maTTI banA dene kI jAne kyA Adata par3a gaI hai !" vinoda ne kahA, "kharA sonA tuma cAhate ho ? acchA lagegA, pacegA nahIM / para, zAyada tumheM pacane kI phikra nhiiN|" maiMne kahA, "apanI bItI sunAoge ? kaho, sunAoge?" vinoda, "vidyAdhara ko sunaauuNgaa| vidyAdhara bano, baba sunAU~gA / para taba kahoge nahIM, sunaao|" sabane kahA, "dekha lenA, hama suneNge|"

Page #239

Page #240

Page #241

Page #242

Page #243

Page #244
_