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Questioner: Is making another person do what one has willed, is that part of obstinacy aadai?
Dadashri: Then what else? If it is not obstincacy than what is it? Through becoming upset and noncompliant one gets his way. If not then ultimately through a tragu one will proceed have one's way. One may even end up throwing a manipulative tantrum tragu to have his own way. Have you ever seen a manipulative tantrum tragu? You will have a fever if you see a tragu. If someone does a tragu, your temperature will rise three degrees even if you do not have a fever!
Questioner: What is a tragu?
Dadashri: Tragu means one does whatever is necessary to scare the other person into accepting one's the inner design and will. One will do anything to make you accept his will. He will bang his head on the wall, hit this or that part on the wall, jump around, cry loudly, wail, throw a tantrum, That which toatally scares us from all angles is a tragu.
Questioner: What is the difference between doing a tragu and
pretending?
Dadashri: Whether one is pretending or throwing a manipulative tantrum, one is doing it in order to get one's own way.
If everyone is sitting down for dinner and one person says, 'I am not going to eat.' He is an important person in the party and his stance is one that creates apprehension in the party. That is called a tragu. The decent people around will say, 'Please come and join us, we would like for you to give company. They will feed him. But if they were to ignore him, he will eat on his own. No one has starved to death.
That is not a tragu- manipulative tantrum
Questioner: Someone locks herself up in a room when she is upset. Everyone else in the home become restless but she will not open the door. Is that a tragu?
Dadashri: That is not a tragu. That is obstinacy; tragu is a different
thing.