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Dadashri: 'I only' 'I am something' 'I am something!' that is what it
Questioner: That is called mamata myness.
Dadashri: No mamata is something different. “This is mine' is extra pride abhimaan. “This is mine. What do you think of it? It is mine,' this is extra pride abhimaan. The extra weight that is given to the lis pride maan.. It is natural to have pride; there is nothing wrong with that. Extra pride indicates attachment. Extra pride abhimaan is the display of myness mamata. Extra pride will be there only if there is myness. Myness mamata was hardly existent in me. Only this pride, 'I am something was there and this was all wrong. One does not gain or attain anything from it. One simply has the belief 'I am something' only.
I am talking about the life before attaining Gnan. The other kashays of anger-deceit -greed were subservient to this pride. There was not a trace of mamata myness from the very beginning.
The pride was a belief in the mind only
So he—Ambalal—used to think a lot of himself, 'there is no one like me in the entire world.' Behold! What he had believed he was! He had nothing to speak of; no wealth, only ten vigha—four acres of land and a home. Besides these, he had nothing but he went around in arrogance thinking he was the king of the Charotar-northern Gujarat-villages. This is because people of the surrounding six villages had raised me on a high pedestal as a bachelor-with-dowry. Pay the dowry and the bachelor would agree to marry! A bachelor from these six villages could demand any amount in dowry and then would agree to marry. These kinds of comments had fed much arrogance in this mind. And something in addition, was brought forth from the past life, which supported such arrogance in the mind.
My elder brother was a very proud man. I used to call my elder brother a maani—laden with heavy self importance and pride—and he accused me of the same. So one day do you know what he told me? 'I have never seen a maani like you.' I asked him, 'Where do you see the maan—self importance in me?' and he replied, 'in everything you do.'
