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accepts what I say; if I tell them 'this is how it is', everyone will accept it. Your state is on the deficient side.
The state of deficiency in this regard is such that to begin with, one is weak and then when he tries to patch and weld others or tries to mend other people's problems, that he breaks down with the others in the process. All these are weak states. I will never break down. I have never broken down with anyone. As long as there is weakness in me, the other person can never benefit. It is a different matter if someone breaks it and makes it strong, however I will not break it. If I do not smoke myself and tell the other person to stop smoking, he may accept my advice. Surely, one should have this energy to begin with. If your own friendship with someone is broken and you try to weld other people's friendship, the energy within will not work.
Questioner: What should I do in a situation where I am not able to continue to weld successfully?
Dadashri: If you are not qualified, then what is the use in taking up the process of welding? Try and do as much as you can and then leave the rest alone. Your inner intent should be that it would be nice if it they make up. If the welding does not take place methodically, then at least keep your inner intent. You should not let it destroy your inner intent. You should never think, 'It will be good if they separate.. As it is, there is misery even in being together! They too are thinking to themselves, 'Why did I get into this mess?' but even so it is wrong to separate them.
Questioner: But Dada, one cannot maintain equanimity at that moment. At that moment I feel, 'Why is he doing this?'
Dadashri: There is so much weakness. Is that not a weakness? That is exactly what will happen when the time comes. You nourish and nurture a snake and then one day you hit it and see what happens? Just test it out, 'I have fed it milk for so many days. Now I will hit it. What will the snake do?
Questioner: Now when the person we are 'welding' turns against us and we feel 'Why is he doing this?' is it because we had set out to do so through the ego?
