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This thinking, in fact, helps him to fortify his sense and sentiment of detachment and his resolve for achieving emancipation in the present life. 43
The twentythird year is an important mile-stone in his life, when he seems to have achieved great depth in his spiritual sādhanā and perserverance. Once he says, “Day and night I am thinking of higher achievement." Paramārtha itself is, now my food, my sleep, my bed, my dream, my enjoyment, my possession ... these days I do not feel like seeing, crying, smelling anything, listening anything, touching anything. I do not like speaking, nor do I like being quiet, nor do I like sitting nor standing, nor sleeping nor awaking, nor eating nor fasting. I feel like running away to some place, may be a den but I have to discharge certain mundane duties, which, of course, I ain doing but without any (emotional) concern.45 .
· He further says that he was not sorry for mechanically carrying out certain worldly duties, but that too was gradually becoming unbearable for him.
As a result of the depth and progress in his sūdhani in the 23rd year, he accomplished samyaktva ( right attitude ) and some other siddhis ( spiritual powers ) and also ātmajižāna. Now he wanted to abandon
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