Harmony in Marriage

Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Dada Bhagwan Foundation

Page 9

Harmony in Marriage to keep looking at it? Then when it becomes old, he has to go and buy another one. All day long, he is caught up in a rut, he is unhappy, and he is stressed, stressed and stressed. Alas! How can one live this kind of a life! Does this suit a human being? There should not be any quarrels or conflicts.
Questioner: But what do you call clash?
Dadashri: Clashes with members of the family, with outsiders, clashes with the wife are all included. If a couple gets into an argument and as a result avoid each other for a while then this event is called a clash. There is no problem if they get together right away after two to three hours of bickering. However, when they argue and stay apart, that is called clash. If they stay apart for twelve hours then the whole night is spent in clash.
(11) Questioner: This tendency to quarrel, is it more prevalent in a man or a woman?
4
Dadashri: Women have more of this tendency. Questioner: What is the reason for that?
Dadashri: There are two categories of clash, minor clash and major clash. Men tend to get into a quarrel of the type that does not last. They forget and let go quickly. This is minor clash. Women on the other hand do not recover from a quarrel that easily and they tend to remember it for prolonged time. They simply cannot let go easily. This is major clash, because it is prolonged. Sometimes they even make a big issue of a minor quarrel because of the way they are. For example after a minor disagreement, the husband walks about as if nothing has happened but the wife walks around with a sulky face as if she has been starved for three days. (13)
Harmony in Marriage
Questioner: So what should one do to avoid major
clash?
Dadashri: If you do not light a minor fire she will not turn it into a major fire. The fault is yours for igniting a fire in the first place when you tell her that her food tastes awful. You don't like the food she has prepared, and then you go around with a frown on your face. All these trivial things give rise to minor clash which she coverts into a major clash.(14)
Questioner: The important thing is that there should be peace at home.
Dadashri: But how can peace prevail? For peace, one has to understand religion. You should tell everyone at home, 'we are not each other's enemies; nobody has any quarrels with any one. There is no need to have differences of opinion. Let us share with each other what we have and let us be happy." That is how we should think and do everything. One should never quarrel with people at home. How can you quarrel with the people with whom you have to share the same home? Nobody has ever been happy by making others miserable and we want to be happy by giving happiness. We can only be happy if we make others happy at home. You will be served a good cup of tea with a smile if you avoid clash with this understanding. Otherwise, they will ruin the tea and then serve
us.
Look how many worries and inner differences there are! A person does not get rid of even a trace of differences of opinion, and yet he thinks that he is religious. Ask him if clashes have ceased at home? Have they even decreased? Have your worries become less? Do you have at least some peace? To that he will say: 'No, but at least I practice religion.' You fool! What religion do you have? Being religious means, you