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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
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nothing good would come of the situation. If she sulks, pacify her, tell her you two are one. Try to appease her in this manner. What happens if you both start shouting? You should know how to deal with your wife, shouldn't you?
(229) Questioner: Some ladies get tired from repeated house chores. When you ask them to do something, they find all kinds of excuses- I am tired, my head hurts and my back hurts.
Dadashri: Start in the morning by telling her, my dear you are tired today. Why don't you take a break and rest?' This will energize her. She will retort, 'No you be quiet and sit down, I will take care of it'. We should have the art of getting work out of someone. Even when you chop these vegetables, if you do not know how to cut, then there will be bleeding. (232)
parents and take really good care of them.
Questioner: If the parents are old. On one side I have my elderly father and mother, and on the other is my wife, so between the two, who should I listen to first?
Dadashri: Improve your relations with your wife to an extent that she herself will tell you to take care of your parents. Why are you behaving in this way? You should say a few negative things about your parents to your wife, to make her feel that you are in her favour. But what do our people say instead? 'No one has a mother like mine. You better not say anything.' Then if your wife gets upset, you should tell her that Mother's nature has become that way. Do not mind her. Forgive her.' The Indian mind has a habit of changing in the wrong direction. This is an Indian mind.
Do you know that some people make their wives, their Guru?
Questioner: Yes, I do.
Dadashri: It is not worth making them a guru; otherwise you will put your parents and all other family members into difficulty. After making her a Guru, you will put yourself in a difficulty too. There are times when you want to play with her, which you will not be able to do if you make her your boss. This does not happen to those who come to me. With my Gnan their life together is filled with harmony. All subtle internal violence disappears. All they think about is how to make others happy.
(227) You have to be careful and compromise especially with a new wife. If everything is new then you have to help her adjust. If the wife sulks on the first day and you become upset,
Questioner: When we are driving, she will tell me how to drive, where to take a turn, when to slow down, when to apply brakes. She is always nagging, 'Drive this way, and drive that way.
Dadashri: Then leave the driving to her. There will be no hassle.
Questioner: Then she will say, I don't have the courage.
Dadashri: So you ask her, why does she have to interfere? Is my driving hurting you any way? You are criticizing me because I am your husband. Would you criticize our chauffer this way? If you do he will resign and then you will have a problem.
Questioner: If we do not take the wife's side, there will be a fight
Dadashri: You have to take the wife's side; there is
