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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
111
sex). Would anyone take medicine without having a fever? If sexual activity happens when one of them does not have a desire then that married life does not shine. You should take medicine only if you both have a fever. This is the only medicine. Just because the medicine is sweet, it does not mean you have to take it every day. For a marriage to be harmonious the man needs to control his passion for sex. All these animals have no control over passion. All great men and women of the past, like Rama, Sita, and others, had control over their passions. Lack of control is like that of an animal. This world does not know the danger of sex. In one sexual act, five hundred thousand lives are killed. Because they do not understand this, they continue to enjoy sex. They do not realise this. Only under extreme situation, beyond your control, sex should occur.
(455) Every religion has created confusion that the man has to leave the woman. Where would I go if I did that? Who will cook for me? Should I be running the business of mine or should I be cooking at home?
Scriptures and religion has praised the married life. They have not condemned the married life. They have condemned infidelity and immorality.
(459) Questioner: Should sex only be for having children, or can one enjoy sex using birth control?
Dadashri: No, no. That was during the times of sages and ascetics. In those days the relationship between the husband and the wife was not like this. The ascetic used to marry, but generally they avoided marriage. The prospective wife argued that on his own, he would not be able to live properly. Therefore, she asked the ascetic to have a partnership
with her. By doing so, they would be able to maintain their religious practice and the devotional rituals and at the same time maintain their daily life needs of food, home etc. Some of the ascetics accepted this proposal, but they told the wives they would not have a family with them. The wives agreed as long as they got a gift of one son and one daughter. They agreed that there would be no further sex after that. Having accomplished this they lived together only as friends. Not as husband and wife. She would take care of all the activities of the home and he would take care of things outside the home. Later they would sit together to devote the time for spiritual practice. Now sex has become the main business. Therefore, everything has been spoilt. The ascetics were very controlled and wise.
Even now it is not wrong if the union is for one son or daughter. Then they should live like friends. Then there would not be any misery. However, here the only kind of happiness they seek is that from sex. Then they will start to make demands. The ascetics were a different kind of people. (460)
Would you vow to stay absolutely sincere to your wife? He would say, 'I do'. Then moksh is yours, but if you even start to have thoughts about other women, then your moksh is gone, because that is not yours by right. There is moksh with that which is yours and animal form for you if you take what is not yours.
In addition, there should be a limit to sex with your wife. How far should there be a sexual relationship between a man and a woman? It should not be with someone else's spouse. If ever such thoughts even cross your mind, you should wash them off through pratikraman. If there is such a thing as the most ominous danger, then it is that of taking pleasure
