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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
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with someone else's wife or husband. There is no danger with your own wife. Now where am I making a mistake here? Am I scolding you in any way? Is there a crime here? This is my scientific discovery. For the sadhu there is a rule. They are not to look at a wooden doll in the image of a woman, or sit where a woman had been sitting. However, I have not placed such restrictions have I?
(462) In this era, I consider sincerity to one's spouse in matters of sex as bhramacharya (practice of celibacy, freedom from sexual inclination through thoughts, speech and acts) and the reward for this is the same as the reward that one receives for practicing bhramcharya (no sex at all) in the days of The Tirthankars (The fully Enlightened Ones). This is my guarantee.
Questioner: This sincerity has to be with external acts or both external acts as well as the thoughts? The mind is something that will go wandering in sexual matters will it not?
Dadashri: It should also be at the thought level and if the mind sways, then you should remain detached from the mind. You should keep on doing pratikraman for that. What is the condition for liberation? It is the vow of one wife and one husband. Vow of true monogamy for both a man and a woman will liberate you.
If you are married then enjoy sex with your wife, which is rightfully yours, and not with someone else's wife because the consequences of the latter are very grave. (462)
If you leave your own wife and have an affair with some other woman, then you will have to roam wherever that other woman roams, wherever she is born in her next life. If she goes to lower life forms, non-human form, then you will have to go there too. She will take you there with her. Nowadays,
this is what happens everywhere. There is no telling of where your next birth will be. Those who have enjoyed sex with someone else's wife will have to suffer tremendous physical and mental suffering. Even his daughter will have immoral characteristics in just one rebirth. The law of nature is such that, with whomsoever you had violated the rules of rightful sex, that very woman will become your mother or your daughter in your next life. The moment you violate the rules, you loose your right to be born as a human in the next life. It is a tremendous sin. When you enjoy someone else's wife, then others will enjoy your daughter. Alas! Who is worried about this in these times?
There is always kashayas (anger, pride, attachment, greed) in forbidden sex and wherever there is kashaya, one has to go to hell (life filled with severe suffering). However, people do not realise this and that is why they do not have any fear of any kind. They are not even afraid in the least bit. This current human life is the reward of your good deeds of the past life.
(464) Sex arises out of attraction and this ultimately leads to repulsion. When the repulsion takes place, vengeance is created and vengeance is the foundation of the world. (465)
Money is a cause of vengeance. Ego is a cause of vengeance. Sex is a cause of vengeance. Of these three causes, sex is the most poisonous.
It is the sex and sexual desires that deludes you. This in turn creates a desire for wealth. Excess wealth exacerbates the ego. If sexual desire dissipates, all else vanishes. (466)
Questioner: So one should know how to destroy the seed, the root cause, but how can one do that?
