________________
48
Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
49
This era is a meeting of such foolish people. (214)
Even when other people have labelled a person immoral, you should consider him moral. This is because he may not be really immoral. By labelling him immoral you face a serious liability. If you call a virtuous woman, a prostitute, then it is a grave error, the result of which you will have to suffer for many lives to come. Therefore, do not say anything about any one's moral conduct, what if you are wrong? What is our own worth when we make comments along with other people's comments? I have never made any such comments about anyone, nor have I made such comments to anyone. I never interfere. Who would take on such a liability? You should never have any doubts about anyone's moral character. It is very dangerous. I will never allow suspicion. Why would I want to take on such a liability?
One man kept having suspicions about his wife. I asked him the reason behind his suspicions. Had you seen something that makes you suspicious of her? Was it not going on even before you caught her? The world labels the one who gets caught as a thief. Even the people who carryon without being caught are thieves. But here only the one who gets caught is called a thief. You fool, why are you calling him a thief? He was a simple man. He got caught because he was an amateur. The expert thieves never get caught.
(215) Those men who want peace of mind about their wives conduct, should marry a woman who is unattractive, so that no one would want her, no one would want to keep her. She herself would say "Nobody wants to keep me. I found only my husband, he is the only one who takes care of me'. So she would remain sincere to you, absolutely sincere. But if she is beautiful, then people will enjoy her without fail. If she is
beautiful, they will lust after her. Whenever someone marries a beautiful woman, I think of what predicament he is going to be in. If she is unattractive, only then there will be a safe side.
When one has a beautiful wife, he will forget God, won't he? if the husband is handsome, the wife will forget God. That is why the older generation had a saying that: "Keep the farm chopat (flat) and a woman kobaad (unattractive, idiotic). (217)
What are these people like? They dine' wherever they see a "hotel', (the moment they see a woman, they will enjoy her). So it is of no use to harbour suspicions in this world. Suspicions themselves cause misery.
(218) These people are such that if the wife comes home a little late, they start having suspicions about her. Suspicion is something that you should absolutely shun. Nothing is going to happen outside the limits of your account. When she comes home late, explain things to her but do not suspect her. Suspicion feeds more fuel. Alert her but do not suspect her. Those who harbour doubts lose their harmony and liberation. So if you want to be liberated you should cast off all doubts. If you happen to see another man walking with his arm around your wife, are you going to commit suicide? (219)
So if you have any suspicions about anyone, do not harbour them. Be aware, but do not be suspicious about others. Suspicion will kill you. Whatever is going to happen to the other person will happen, but that suspicion will surely kill you, because that suspicion will not leave you until you die. It makes a person live like a corpse.
(220) Chapter 12 FAULT OF DOMINANCE IN A HUSBAND Questioner: There are some men who run away from
