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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
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they have the money... Why do you buy things if you do not need to? It is useless. Should you not be spending the money on something worthwhile? If someone has a hardship in his family and they do not have any money, then wouldn't it be nice to give them fifty to a hundred dollars? Why throw money away unnecessarily over things that create problems at home?
(367) Questioner: Then the women throw extreme tantrums. They do get crabby.
Dadashri: Men also throw extreme tantrums. Even I threw an extreme tantrum once, don't you know?
There are not a lot of extreme tantrums nowadays. What is an extreme tantrum? If one wants to enjoy something, one will do so even at the cost of severe angry outburst against the other. Such tantrums are done to make others do what one wishes.
(370)
Questioner: How long should one go on tolerating things?
Dadashri: Through tolerance the inner power will increase tremendously.
Questioner: So does that mean one just has to go on tolerating?
Dadashri: Instead of tolerating, it is better to think about things: Bring about a solution by thinking things through. Besides toleration is a fault. When there is too much tolerance, then one bounces back like a coiled spring, and that will create chaos in the household. Tolerance is like a spring. One should not place any load on a spring, at any time. It is fine to a certain extent to use that spring. when you have to deal with other people. But you should not put any load on that spring with the people in your home. What will happen if you tolerate the people of the house? The spring will bounce back.
Questioner: What should be the limit for tolerance?
Dadashri: One should tolerate up to a certain limit only. After which one has to think about the facts involved. If you think about it, then you will come to realise the causes behind all that. If you just tolerate alone, then the spring will bounce back. It is necessary to think. It is when one does not think. that one has to tolerate. If you think, then you will understand where the mistakes are. That will bring about a solution. There is tremendous power within. Tremendous power! Whatever strength you ask for will be granted. But one does not look for that strength within, instead he is looking for it outside. What strength is there on the outside?
It is because of this tolerating that every household has disputes. People go around believing 'Look how much I have
Questioner: Why is it that everywhere the women are blamed and not the men?
Dadashri: For the women it is like this: The men used to control the laws so the women have been victimized.
Men have written the books and so the importance has been given to the husband. The women have not been given any recognition. These people have done away with any importance of women. Now, the men have also suffered in the process. These very people go to hell. From here they go directly to hell. The women do not have this result. They are spontaneous and natural by nature. They are not as awakened in spiritual matters as men are. Their suffering is not as severe as a consequence of their nature.
(371)
