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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
negative public scenes? You will have to understand a little bit at least, will you not? Do you understand? You have to be superficial in these matters. So many of you men have taken up the role of dhani (dominating husbands). You fools! Why are you behaving as if you own your wives? Here you are a husband as long as you are alive, or as long as you are not divorced. You can be divorced tomorrow, and then who will you dominate?
(404) Questioner: Nowadays, many people get divorced. They have small children, and the parents leave them. Are they not liable for the children's nisaso? (children's grievance resulting in a bad effects in next life)
Dadashri: Yes, they will be liable, but what can they do? Really speaking they should not get divorced. Really they should tolerate each other for the sake of the children. It would not have mattered if they divorced before having children, but if they get divorced after having children, they will have to suffer from the nisaso of the children.
Questioner: If the husband has a mind that does not work, he does not do any work, he does not know how to run the motel, he just stays cooped up within the four walls of the house, then what should be done?
Dadashri: What else can you do about it? There is no guarantee that you will find another one who is better than him.
Questioner: Yes that is for sure.
Dadashri: If the second husband is worse and if he abuses you, then what will you do? It happens to many people. The first one was better; they were better off with him. Is it not necessary for people to understand this?
Questioner: If we leave it up to Dada, then will we get a better husband the second time?
Dadashri: He may turn out to be nice but after three years he may have a heart attack, then what will you do? This world is full of danger. It is better if you just tell yourself that things are meant to be the way they are. What happens is correct. Accept it. That is better for you.
(405) The first husband is generally good. The second is generally unfaithful. He is looking for something like this. He is wandering around looking for someone and she too is a wanderer, and that is why they meet each other. It's like two wandering cattle coming together. Instead the first one is better, he may have turned out to be useless but at least you know what he is like. At least he will not strangle you in the night. You can be sure of that. While the other one may even strangle you.
One should compromise just for the sake of the children. Even when there are only one or two children, they will become without support, if you divorce.
Questioner: Yes they will be without support.
Dadashri: Where is the mother? Where is the father? If a person looses his leg in an accident, does he not put up with it for a lifetime or does he commit suicide? Likewise put up with a crippled marriage.
(407) You do not find your husband undesirable now? But when you do, what will you do? Even if he is not of a sound mind, you married him, so he is your husband now. So you have to say 'mine is the best of all'. There is no such thing as a bad husband in this world.
