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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
Questioner: If we say he is the best, it would go to his head.
Dadashri: No it would not. The poor man works outside all day long, where is the time for him to misbehave. Whatever the husband is like accept him. Is it right for you to go get another one? Can you buy one? When you try to correct your situation by getting a divorce it is not acceptable to the world. Thereafter even the other man will ask, 'Is she a divorcee?' So where else can you go? Instead just stick to one and settle up your accounts. How many husbands do we change as Indians? This one that you have, whatever he is like, he is the real one. So, deal with it and settle your account. As for men, whatever his wife is like, even if she fights and acts up, it is better to accept her. It is not as if she is eating you alive, she just keeps yelling and shouting at you; at least she is not physically abusing you. She is only a radio, but you are not able to understand all this exactly. You feel that it is she who is really perpetuating the clash. But later on even she regrets having said all the things. Therefore, is she doing it or is it the radio?
(408)
In this era, you cannot find a good husband or even a good wife. All these are trash and garbage goods. There are no good men to choose from. As far as you are concerned you have to settle past accounts. All these men and women are accounts of past karma that have to be settled. Instead people are complicating their accounts further by deep interest in marriage. You pitiful people! You have to settle everything here. Take the approach, which has the least amount of conflicts, and settle up your accounts. There is not much time left.
Questioner: Dada, whatever event comes about, it is because of past accounts?
Dadashri: Without account they would never meet.
As long as there is this world, there will be wounds. The wife may say that these wounds will not heal. But yet she falls back into the worldly interactions and the wounds heal. This is what I call stupor, ignorance or moha. Because of moha he forgets. It is due to the moha that these wounds heal. If these wounds did not heal, then one would get vairaagya (nonattachment to worldly things). What is the definition of moha? It is when many things have been experienced, but then they are forgotten. While getting a divorce, he decides that he will never marry again and yet he takes another desperate risk. (410)
Questioner: I was telling her that ninety-nine percent of married couples are incompatible with each other.
Dadashri: Incompatibility in a couple in this era may work in two ways. It either elevates them spiritually or it will take them all the way down to lower life forms. Compatibility amidst a couple stagnates them both spiritually. It may even hurt them spiritually. Spiritual progress in an incompatible
In Bombay there was a lady whose marriage was falling apart. Her husband was secretly having an affair. When she found out, there were terrible rows at home. She came to me and told me what he was doing and asked me what was she to do. She wanted to break away. I told her that if she can find a husband who will be faithful to her completely then she might leave her husband. Otherwise where are you going to find a better one? As such he has kept only one mistress right? She said 'yes'. So I told her that was good under the circumstances. She should let go of the matter. She should keep an open mind. She would not find a better one.
(409)
