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Harmony in Marriage
Questioner: A husband asks for forgiveness repeatedly, but then he carries on the affairs with his mistress. What then?
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Dadashri: When the husband asks for forgiveness, can you not understand that he is suffering, with helplessness beyond his control? So you have to let go. It is not that he has acquired a habit of doing this. He has not become habituated. He too does not like it, but what can he do? These things happen against his will. Errors are made in this way, are they not?
Questioner: What should one do if the husband has become habituated to such marital infidelity?
Dadashri: What can you do? What then? Can you throw him out? If you throw him out, there will be uproar in the community. On the contrary you have to keep it a secret. What else can you do? Do we cover up our gutters or do we keep them open? So are these gutters to be covered or kept open?
Questioner: They have to be covered.
Dadashri: Otherwise if we keep them open, the foul stench will give you a headache.
Questioner: Why do the women do chandlo (red dot in the centre of the forehead)? Many American women ask me why we do chandlo.
Dadashri: This red dot in the middle of the forehead is very close to the inner mind and by wearing it our women have the noble aim of keeping their mind on their husband only. These women will not leave or be insincere to their husband even if they have major clashes. The ones who do not have this chandlo may not remain sincere. (397)
Harmony in Marriage
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Chapter 20
RESULTS OF DIVORCE
Do you like differences of opinion? When there are differences of opinion, it will create discord. Excess discord results in divorce.
Questioner: In daily life what is the difference between differences in opinion and differences in thinking?
Dadashri: For all those who have not received the Gnan of Self realisation, all differences are differences of opinion. For those who are realised, the process of differences in thinking exists. Differences in thinking do not cause hurt. A difference in opinion is the cause of clash and discord.
Questioner: Is it not good to have a less difference of
opinion?
Dadashri: People who aim to get along with each other should not have any differences of opinion whatsoever. With such differences of opinion, discord and clash is the result and leads to the risk of losing their human value system. This differences of opinion results in clash and separation of inner oneness of minds and this is the cause of divorce or a life together filled with misery. (402)
Questioner: Our marriage is in trouble. We clash a lot. We are concerned. Please help us.
Dadashri: That is exactly what I am saying. It is not good. It does not look good to the world. There is no meaning in all this. There is still a chance of improvement. As long as we are in the human body, you have a chance to improve the situation. Why should it be like this anyway? Why create
