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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
satisfied.
I get along very well with the women, and also with the men. I neither side with men, nor do I side with women. Both have to be equally responsible. People in the past had made women inferior. Women are helpful. If the woman was not there, then how would your household run?
(361) Chapter 19 COMPLAINTS FROM THE WIFE
If you complain you will become a complainer. If anyone comes to me complaining about someone, I consider him as a guilty party. Why has the time arisen for you to complain? Most complainers are usually the perpetrators of the crime. Being the wrongdoer himself, he comes to complain. If you complain, you will become the complainer and the opposite person will be the accused. In his eyes you will become the accuser. So never make a complaint against anyone.
If the other person is multiplying the conflict by complaints and discord, you should use division and try to achieve peace by settling with equanimity. To spend time thinking why a person caused hurt to you is a grave mistake. Why do you not get angry at a wall, which you collide with, accidentally on the way? All that collides is the wall or the trees. When a cow steps on your foot, do you scold it? The same is with all these people also. How does the Gnani Purush forgive all? He knows that all of these people are like the wall and the tree. They do not understand. The ones who understand need not be told anything because they immediately do pratikramans.
(363) What do you do when your husband insults you? Do
you start a claim against him?
Questioner: No that is not right.
Dadashri: Then what do you do? Do you go to bed saying, 'I bless you?' Or do you keep on cursing him in your mind?
Generally there is a lot of cursing going on within. (365)
If her eyes fall on a sari costing three thousand rupees in the show room on the way back to your home, she becomes depressed and her face shows that she is unhappy. When one asks what happened it is apparent that she is lost in the thoughts of the sari. Then the only way to release the frown on her face is to buy her the sari. Until then all kinds of subtle discord will continue in the home. This is not how married life should be.
(366) The wife may say to you, "I don't like the design of our sofas. The sofa set your friend has is much nicer!" You ask her, "You don't like our sofa anymore?" She will reply "No. Since I saw the other sofa, I like that one better". So now the husband has to buy a sofa just like his friend's. Now after having bought the new sofa, if the child cuts the sofa by accident, when she finds about the damage, it will be as if her soul has been cut. Children will cause damage, will they not? They may even jump on the sofa, don't they? while they are jumping, it may seem to her that the child is jumping on her chest. This is all moha (attachment). This moha will eat you alive and make you suffer.
This whole life of yours will be wasted in such matters. Furthermore, I am telling all the ladies not to go shopping. They need to put a stop to all their shopping. Simply because
(367)
