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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
(398)
coincidence that one acquires a husband. Whatever your husband is like, your efforts should be put into becoming a devoted wife. If you are not able to do this, then ask for his forgiveness. Your aim should be this. You should be focused on how you can progress further in your partnership with your husband. How you will attain a higher level? How you will both attain moksh?
So tell your wife that you can fight with me as much as you want. Dada has told me not to fight. Dada has given me this command. I am going to sit here, you can say whatever you want to say
Questioner: Then she will remain quiet.
Dadashri: She will shut up when Dada's name is raised. There is no other weapon. Use this weapon freely. (350)
A lady once said to me "When I got married my husband was very dominant.' I replied, 'how is it now?' She proceeded "Dada, you know all about a woman's behaviour, why are you making me say it. When he wants some happiness from me, I tell him to address me as master. In this way I make him do what I want. What fault is it of mine? Before he used to make me call him master, and now I make him say it. (351)
so?" She said she would be scared. Now what is she scared of? So she tells me "When I hear a noise in the other room, I think that there maybe is a ghost there". Even if a mouse knocks something over she is scared, but you are not scared if your husband is around. Yet, you keep on nagging and scolding him, to the point where he feels like nothing. The lion of a husband is turned into a sheep.
(355) One man purchased a mare for three thousand rupees. Everyday he used to sit on the horse. One day his twenty-four year old son rode the mare to the local pond. He teased the horse a little. Now this is a mare worth three thousand rupees, is she supposed to be teased? One cannot tease her; you have to let her walk in her own style and pace. When the son teased her, she quickly got up and as she did that, the young man fell down. So what did he say when he got home, "Sell this horse, the horse is bad". He is the one who does not know how to sit on the horse and he is blaming the horse? The definition of a dominant husband is the one who blames the horse because he cannot ride her well. The horse here is the wife. Should you not know how to treat her?
If a husband becomes confrontational with his wife even just once, then her respect for him will decrease. If your household is running smoothly, the children are doing well in school, you have no other botheration and yet you scold and find faults with her. Then your wife will lose her respect for you. She will know that you have no substance. (356)
You do not know how to deal with the ladies. If you, as a shopkeeper, do not know how to deal with the customers, they will not come to you. Don't our people say 'Keep a good salesman?' If the salesman is good, handsome and clever, then people will even pay a little bit more. In the same manner we
When an officer in a powerful position comes home after a frustrating day at the office, what will his wife say? "You are an hour and half late! Where have you been?" Just look at this. His wife was telling him off one day. A person with lion likes qualities, whom the whole state of Gujarat fears, was being scolded like a child. Nobody dare cross him, and yet his own wife does not respect him. in addition she even reprimands him. So one day I told her, "What if this husband of yours were to leave you alone and go out of town for a fortnight or
