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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
85
to tolerate'. A solution has to be brought about by thinking things through. Whatever events come your way; all are nature's creation, so how will you escape them? If you want to settle your vengeance from past lives, and not create any new vengeance in your future lives, then you need to find a way out. This life is for untying all ties of revenge from the past life. There is a way to do this. It is to settle with equanimity with everyone. Then your children will have such good upbringing
(372) Questioner: My friend has asked this question. Her husband is always getting angry with her, what is the reason behind this?
Dadashri: That is good, it is better that the husband gets angry rather than others. After all, he is one of your own. What do these blacksmiths do when they have a piece of steel they want to bend? They heat it, and when heated bright red they hammer it, and it bends. We can mould it into any shape we want. This is so with human beings too. If he gets hot, he will bend. The angrier he becomes the weaker he is and the more vulnerable to moulding. When he becomes weak, with a couple of strokes of the hammer, she can mould that husband into whatever design she wants.
Questioner: What kind of a design, Dada? What do I do with him once he is under my control?
Dadashri: You can have whatever design you want. She can turn her husband into a parrot. He will repeat whatever she says. He can become just like a parrot, but people do not know how to mould with a hammer. All these are weaknesses in people. To get angry is a weakness.
(373) If you were walking along and a rock falls from a building
and hits you on the head, and you start to bleed. At that moment do you get angry?
Questioner: No, that just happens.
Dadashri: No, but why is it that you do not get angry in this situation? It is because you do not see anyone involved here, so how can you get angry?
Questioner: No one has thrown the stone on purpose.
Dadashri: Therefore, we do have control over our anger. Once we know that no one has thrown it on purpose, we are able to control our anger. The control is definitely there. But people say, 'anger overcomes me'. That is wrong! Then why do you stay calm in other situations? If a policeman was to get angry with you, why is it that you do not get angry with him? You get angry with your wife, with your children, with the neighbours and with those who work under you, and why do you not get angry with your boss? Anger does not overcome a man. This is all because he wants to do everything according to his own expectations.
(375) Questioner: Whether it is at home or amongst friends, if things do not go according to our plan because everyone has different opinions, then why is it that we get angry? What should one do?
Dadashri: If everyone tried to do things according to their expectations, then what would happen? How can one even think such thoughts? One should immediately think that if everyone tries to do according to his or her expectations, then chaos will result, and then there would be no supper. So do not try to do things according to your own expectations at any time. Do not have any expectations and you will never be disappointed. No expectations means there isn't any need to
