________________
68
Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
by nature has a more forgiving nature. Do you understand what I am saying?
Questioner: Since you said the husband has more forgiving nature, he is pleased.
Dadashri: No, men really do have a broad forgiving mind. They have a very open mind and women are more natural and spontaneous in their acts. This means that if it comes to their mind from within to ask for forgiveness, they will. If it does not arise in their mind, they will not repent. But if you as a husband initiate and ask for forgiveness, then she will also immediately follow. You as a husband are not a slave to the unfolding karma. You are dependant upon your jagruti (awareness), and she is dependent upon her unfolding karma. Women are spontaneous and natural. Such natural spontaneity is not a trait of men. If it becomes your nature, you will be very happy.
(305) Questioner: Ego is wrong. All know it. All emphasize it. Time and again we hear it. All scriptures and religious teachers preach this. Despite this, why does this ego not go?
Dadashri: When will ego leave? When we accept the fact that it is wrong, then only it will leave. If you are fighting with your wife, then you should understand that your ego is wrong. So everyday through that very ego, you should ask for her forgiveness, from within. Then the ego will go away. You will have to find a solution, will you not? (306)
I am showing you this straightforward path. Besides, these arguments don't occur on a daily basis, do they? They happen according to the unfolding of our karma, and you just need to adjust accordingly. After a fight with your wife, take her out to dinner and make her happy. From now on, no
continuity in sulking, inner grudge should remain.
So now that you have this Gnan, that problem will not remain. If you have Gnan, then you will see the Real in your wife, first thing in the morning. You will have to see the God in your wife, will you not? If you can see Dada in your wife, then salvation is yours. When you look at your wife, can you see Dada? You can see pure Soul. Then salvation is yours.(307)
So adjust in any way you can. Time will pass and your accounts will be cleared. You will have to honour your debit accounts of past life karma. For some it may take twenty-five years, some may take fifteen years and some may take thirty years. You don't have a choice. Even if you don't like it, you will have to stay within the same room. One side there will be her bed and the other side there will be your bed. Even if you turn around and face the other direction, both of you will have thoughts of each other only. There is no way out. This whole world is like this.
It is not just that you don't like her, she doesn't like you either. So this world is not such that you can extract any real enjoyment out of it.
Don't see laws, please settle. Settle any conflict with equanimity. Where do we have the time to tell the other person
do it this way, settle it this way"? Even if the other person has made a hundred mistakes, you have to consider it as your fault and just move on. There is no time to lose in fighting with worldly laws even if you are right. In this day and age, one cannot look at the law. This is a very serious matter. You are at the end of your rope of infinite lives. Such opportunity will not come again.
(308) Questioner: Sometimes there is a major fight in the
