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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
home. What should we do?
Dadashri: A wise man would refuse to quarrel even if someone gave him a million rupees. here they quarrel without getting paid. If that is not foolishness, then what is it? Lord Mahavir had to walk sixty miles and go to area of primitive people to fulfil his karma, but today all these fortunate people do not have to venture out of their homes to settle their karma. How fortunate they are. All this is very beneficial for settling one's karma, providing one knows how to conduct himself.
If someone in the household asks you a question or asks for your advice, only then should you give an answer. The Lord has said that to give advice without being asked is egotistical. A husband should ask the wife where to stack the water glasses and she tells him. But he in turn argues with her and tells her she has no sense and that it is not the right place. She will then reply, that is why I told you to put them there because I don't have any sense. Now you use your own sense and put them wherever you want'. How can you solve this type of discord? All these are just mere clashes of circumstances. These tops (Dada has called all human beings "tops'. The toys that spin as the string around them is unwound with a jerk. We are all spinning tops in this life as our karma from the past life dissipate) are clashing as they eat or as they wake up. These tops then become bruised and even bleed. This is all mental bleeding. A wound bleeding is preferable because you can stop it with a bandage, but you cannot put any dressing on these mental injuries.
(311) You cannot attain moksh if you insult anyone in your family, or any living being. Insult with abhorrence is very dangerous. It will surely impede your liberation. There are varying degrees of insults. There is a mild internal repulsion
and internal hate, which is not apparent to others. Then there is overt intense insult with abhorrence, which causes severe mental wounds for which you have to suffer a lot in the next life.
(312) One lady was telling me that she felt that I was her father from her past life. She was very nice and very cultured. I asked her how she gets along with her husband. She told me that he does not say anything. He is always calm and composed. I asked her surely some day some disagreements must occur. She said no, sometimes he will make a cynical comment. I understood. So I asked what she did when he made the sarcastic comments, would she strike back at him? She replied "No, I tell him that we are together due to the unfolding of our karma. I am separate and you are separate. So why are you doing this? Why do have to make sarcastic comments and what is all this about? No one is at fault here. It is the fault of the unfolding of the karma. So instead of making sarcastic comments, why don't you settle your karma with equanimity? Why should we clash?' I have seen many women, but this is the only woman I have seen with such elevated understanding.
(315)
My inherent qualities are that of a kshatriya (warrior, kingly class). I have it in me to protect those who are under me and who are under my shelter and I am not afraid of taking on my superiors or people in power above me. This is the main quality of a kshatriya. I always protect my wife and servants who depend on me, even when they are at fault. I would not tell the poor man anything and if it was someone above me, I would fight with him. The world generally harasses the people who are subordinates. You idiot! Are you a woman? A woman treats a subordinate in this manner. What do you think of this?
(317)
