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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
scold them, they will not be hurt.
Questioner: Yes, that is of importance.
Dadashri : There is nothing wrong in telling people off, when you are free from weakness of attachment and abhorrence. It is this weakness that is the problem. (297)
Questioner: If we don't want to start any fighting or arguments in the home whatsoever, but the people in the household start one daily and frequently, then what should we do?
Dadashri : You should become fight-proof. If you become 'fight-proof then will you be able to live in this world with peace. I will make you fight-proof. You should become so fight-proof that even the person that comes to fight with you, gets tired and gives up. No one in this world can depress you. You have to become that way. If you become fight-proof, then there are no problems. If others want to fight or swear at you, even then there will be no objection or reaction. No one will call you indifferent. On the contrary, your jagruti (internal awareness of Gnan) will increase.
Whatever disputes were created in the past life leads to vengeance, and today it dissipates in the form of a dispute or disagreement. At the time of argument, a seed of revenge is planted which will grow in the next life.
Questioner: So how can you avoid sewing such a seed?
Dadashri : Slowly and steadily if you keep on settling with equanimity you can prevent new seed being sewn. If the causal karma is very heavy, you have to be patient because it will take time to solve. You have to do a lot of pratikraman. Nobody will take anything away from you. You have shirt on
your back, you get two meals a day what else do you need? They may lock you up before they go due to vengeance created in their past lives, but you still get fed two meals a day. That is the kind of vengeance that was created in the past life, and that was due to ignorance. All results and fruits of acts done in ignorance have to be suffered.
Now in order to let go of all the vengeance, come to me and take this Gnan of Self realisation. All vengeance will be dissolved. You have to let go of all the vengeance and negative feelings in this very lifetime. I will show you the way. (302)
When the mosquitoes bite you those insects are much better than the husband who bites his wife and the wife who bites her husband. All this is very tough. Do they bite or not?
Questioner: Yes, they do.
Dadashri: So that biting needs to stop. The mosquito will bite and leave after its stomach is filled. But the wife is constantly biting her husband. One man told me that "My wife is biting me like a snake'. You fool! Then why did you marry this snake? You have to be a snake in order to marry a snake.
(303)
It does not matter if after this argument, you will not have anything to do with her, but you still have to speak to her again. Anything said in between is wrong. I know that two hours later, we have to talk again. Therefore, I don't argue. It would be fine if you did not have to change your opinion. If our opinion is never to change, then go ahead and fight. If you are never going to sit down and have dinner together then fight. What happened to the scene you created yesterday? Should you not think about that?
The husband should be the first to repent. The husband
(304)
