________________
58
Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
recognized. Companionship is a word with less attachment and attraction. When one uses the words like wife and husband, there is a very strong built in force of attachment and attraction.
One gentleman had lost his wife twenty years ago. A young boy came to me and asked me 'Shall I make this uncle cry?' I asked him, 'How are you going to do that? He would not cry at this age. He replied, 'Just wait and see how sensitive he is'. Then he started to tell the gentleman, 'Sir what a lady your wife was, what a great personality she had." When he said this, the old man started to cry. What a foolish man, he still cries about his wife at the age of sixty. What kinds of fools are these? People also cry at the movies, don't they? If in a movie, someone dies the one who is watching the movie cries.
Questioner: So why can't we get rid of this sense of attachment?
Dadashri: You cannot get rid of it. What you have created by saying 'mine, mine' can only be undone by saying *not mine, not mine'. All the turns you have created will have to be unwound. Therefore, this is all attachment. There is no such thing as real life element in all these. All these are wound up toys.
(258) Wherever there is attachment, there is bound to be accusations. That is the nature of attachment. Accusations like: 'You are like this and you are like that'. Don't these people say such things? Don't they say such things in your town? They say such thing because of attachment.
These girls choose their husbands after close scrutiny. However, later on they get angry with them. Don't they quarrel? Then you cannot call that love at all, can you? Love
should be unwavering. Whenever you see it, it is the same love. That is where you will find consolation. Here you may have love for her and if the next day she is shouting, then you will feel the hell with this love. Dump it in the sewer! What are you going to do with the kind of love that makes one go around sulking?
Human nature is such that wherever there is of love with attachment and expectations, conditional love; abhorrence and repulsion exist as undercurrent.
(264) When the couple is on the way to see a movie, there is mutual excitement from attraction. The repulsion starts on the way home after the movie. They both get into a fight. He'll say "You have no sense', and she will say 'and what wisdom do you have?' In this manner they both come home talking and arguing. He looks for sense and she is looking for wisdom.
(265) One improves with real love. All these people have felt my love and have improved. Love is my real nature, and hence there is no scope for discord. Even a trace of revulsion will ruin everything.
(265) Questioner: Please explain the difference between real love and love associated with attachment.
Dadashri: The love that goes beyond its natural boundary is love of attachment and attraction. What the world calls love is of this type, a state of temporary attraction subject to repulsion.
This attraction and so-called love is like the attraction between a magnet and a sewing needle. There is no such thing as love in it. The inner force that draws him to a woman is similar to the attraction between a needle and a magnet. Not
