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Harmony in Marriage
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Harmony in Marriage *not mine, not mine, not mine', fifty thousand times, you will become free. What is this meaningless obsession?
So then what did he do? For three days, he kept on saying 'she is not mine, she is not mine, she is not mine'. he stopped crying. His grief vanished. All these are merely turns that have we entwined and it is due to these turns that we suffer. All such suffering is false. Do you understand what I am saying? Now who is going to show you such a simple straightforward way?
(245) All day long you should continue doing pratikramans of your husband. In just one day, six months worth of ill feelings will be destroyed. Even if you do it for half a day, at least three months will be cleared. Did you have any attachment with your husband before you got married? No. So when did this attachment start? It was decided when the two of you were sitting across from each other under the wedding canopy and you thought that this is my husband. He is a little plump and dark skinned'. he too, decided "This is my wife'. From that moment onwards these turns of 'my, my had started. This film has been going on for fifteen years, and it will only unwind, if you say "he is not mine, he is not mine'. Only then, this false attachment will end. These opinions have arisen from the time of your marriage. Prejudices have arisen as to whe's like this, he's like that. Was this ever there before? Now you have to decide 'Whatever he is like, he is the only one for me'. You yourself have selected him. Is it appropriate for you to ask for a different husband now?
(248) Chapter 15 RECOGNITION OF THE HIGHEST LOVE In worldly life if someone were to say, 'isn't a woman's
love worth appreciating? Then I would explain, that love, which increases or decreases is not true love at all. Her love will increase a lot when you buy her a pair of diamond earrings, then it will go down if you refuse to buy her a diamond ring. This is not love.
Questioner: So in the absence of increase or decrease, what is the nature of real love?
Dadashri: Real love does not increase or decrease. In all events and situations, real love remains the same. What happens here is that your love will remain as long as they are doing your work, and it will break when they don't do any work for you. How can you call that love? Where there is no selfishness, you will find pure love. Where will you find no selfishness? Where there is no mine or yours'. Where there is Gnan (knowledge of the Real Self), there is no 'mine or yours! There is always 'mine-yours', where there is no "Gnan”. (254)
All these are "wrong beliefs". "I am Chandubhai", is a wrong belief. Then when we go to his house, we ask, "Who is this?" he would say, did you not recognize me? I am this woman's husband.' All these are wrong beliefs. Why do you want to be her boss? What is wrong in saying she is my companion?
Questioner: Dada, you just used a very modern word.
Dadashri: What then? Only then will these arguments stop. When two companions live in one room, they share all the chores. That is how the companionship is maintained.
Questioner: Is there any attachment between companions?
Dadashri: The force and power of words used is to be
