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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
as the wedding ceremony was going on the turban was slightly displaced on my head obstructing my view. It occurred to me then that it is good that we are getting married. It is a good thing that has happened but one day one of us will have to become a widow/widower.
Questioner: You thought that at that young an age?
Dadashri: Yes, alas! Wouldn't one of the wheels break? Whatever is built has to break one day.
Questioner: The intense desire to experience marriage makes you forget your real Self. Where is the time for such thoughts of detachment in marriage?
Dadashri: But at that time a thought occurred to me that whatever has started will come to an end. Of the two of us, one of us will be widowed. Either it will be her or it will be me.
Questioner: What is the root cause of clash?
Dadashri: Tremendous ignorance. One does not know how to live in this world. One does not know how to be a father. One does not know how to be a husband or how to be a wife. One does not know the art of living. With all the material benefits and conveniences, there is still so much misery. Within the ocean of bliss one, still searches for a drop of water.
Questioner: But isn't the quarrelling due to the differences in personality?
Dadashri: It is because of ignorance. In this world, no two personalities can ever match. After acquiring this understanding, there is only one solution. Adjust everywhere.
Where there is conflict God will not reside there. So we can tell God 'Sir, you can stay in the temples, do not come to my home. We will construct more temples, but do not come to our home'. God dwells where there is no clash. I give you a guarantee on this. God leaves as soon as clash starts. As soon as God leaves, people will tell us that the business is not running well. This is because God has departed. Business will run smoothly as long as God is present. Do you enjoy quarrelling?
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Questioner: No.
When you got married in the presence of so may guests and relatives, with the Sun and the priest as your witness, the mantra chanted by the priest was, 'Samaya varte savdhan'. (Exercise caution according to the event in time) When the priest says 'Samaya varte savdhan!' He understands it, but what does the person getting married understand? What does this mantra mean? It means that when the wife loses her temper, you should remain calm, and alert. Only then, you qualify for the marriage. If she gets angry and you also get angry, then you have not exercised caution in time. When she gets upset, we should calm everything down. Isn't it necessary to be cautious? I had remained cautious. I never allowed any discord in my marriage. As soon as any discord started, I took out the welding kit.
Dadashri: But it still occurs, doesn't it? Questioner: Sometimes.
Dadashri: Diwali or Christmas also happens sometimes. Does they come everyday?
Questioner: The clash stops after about fifteen minutes.
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