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26
Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
realised that my nobility was lost in the act of throwing things in anger. My reputation was auctioned in such acts. Do our men throw things at women? These bags of ignorance! Is this a becoming conduct for us? Does this suit us?
Questioner: When you throw things, it is over and done with. Whereas those internal differences of opinions are much worse when they materialize and manifest into certain behaviour in future. Isn't that considered more dangerous?
Dadashri: Internal differences? Those are extremely dangerous.
But I have searched scriptures and investigated for a solution to these internal differences. I did not find anything in any of the scriptures. Then, I discovered the solution myself and the solution is that if I get rid of my opinion, then there is no scope for a difference of opinion. Your opinion is my opinion.
(69) Once I had discord with Hiraba. Even I got myself trapped in a difficult situation. I used to call my wife Hiraba. As a Gnani Purush, I can call everyone Ba (mother - gesture of respect towards elderly ladies) and other ladies I can address as daughter'. If you are interested, I can tell you. It is not a long story, just a short one.
Questioner: Yes, do tell us.
Dadashri: One day discord happened, and it was due to my own mistake. The mistake was not hers.
Questioner: She may have made the mistake but you claim it was yours.
Dadashri: Yes, but it was not her mistake, it was mine.
I am the one who does not want to have any discord. She does not care if any discord occurs or not. I am the one who does not want discord and so it is considered my mistake. If I do this (Dada hits the chair), does the chair get hurt or do I get hurt?
Questioner: You. Dadashri: Therefore, it is up to me to understand.
So anyway, one day there was a discord and I got trapped. Hiraba asked the eldest of the four daughters of my brother is getting married. What should we give her as a gift? It would have been fine if she did not ask this. Whatever she would have decided to give, I would not have objected. But when she asked me, I responded according to my intellect. So when she asked, I said 'Instead of having something new made why don't you take one or two pieces from all the silverware we have in this cupboard and give them as a gift? Do you know what her reply was? In our house words like 'mineyours' are never used. Only the words four-ours' are used. So she said: 'When your uncle's son got married you gave huge silver plates.' Now on that day she used the words 'mine and yours', otherwise she would always say 'ours'. She would never make the division of 'mine' and 'yours'. This was the first time. I thought to myself 'Today I am trapped!' I realised my mistake right away and looked for an opportunity to get out of this predicament. Now, how can I mend this damage? The bleeding had already started, how could I apply the bandage in order to stop the bleeding?
So that day *mine-yours' occurred. Your uncles' son', she told me, the situation went that far. I realised that I had made a major mistake. So that day I saw that I was about to take a fall. I immediately corrected myself. I lied. It is better
