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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
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authoritative conduct. This is suffering. This is a partnership. You have a partnership with your wife, not an ownership. (98)
Questioner: What about the wife who becomes bossy?
Dadashri: That doesn't matter. She cooks good meals and feeds you. You have to say to her 'Oh ho! You cook such wonderful meals for me!' That will please her and then the following day she will calm down. Do not have any anxieties about that. When will she become your superior? When she grows a moustache. But is the moustache ever going to grow?
(101)
Besides, one life will be spent settling your account with her. That account is not going to increase. So why not live in a peaceful manner?
(102) Hindus by nature are volatile. That is why it is said that Hindus go through life clashing. But Muslims are very insightful. They will conduct their fighting outside the home, but at home, they do not fight with their wives. Nowadays, we see the Muslims behaving like Hindus because of close contact. But as compared to the Hindus, I find them wiser in these matters. Some Muslims even pamper their wives by lovingly pulling the string of the garden swing that the dear wife is sitting on.
Questioner: Dada, why don't you tell us more about that incident of the Muslim gentleman and the swing?
Dadashri: Yes. One day I had gone to visit a Muslim friend. We sat down on chairs. His wife was sitting on a swing. He started to push the swing for his wife, so I inquired 'Does she not take advantage of you if you pamper her in this way?' He replied, 'what advantage is she going to take? She does
not have any weapons or anything of that sort!' I told him "Our Hindus will not do this, because they are scared that their wives may start taking advantage of them.' So then he asked me 'Do you know the reason behind why I push her on the swing?
In the years between 1943-1944 I had a contract for construction with the government. There was a gentleman, a head bricklayer with a labour contract. His name was Ahmedmiya. He had invited me several times to visit his home, Sahib, visit my little hut', he would say. They are very soft spoken and sincere, their conduct may or may not correspond, but it is pleasant when they speak sincerely.
One day he asked me if I would bless him by visiting his home. His wife and children would be very pleased. I did not have Gnan at that time but my world vision was very elevated. I had compassion for everyone. If I employed someone, my inner feelings always looked out for his welfare, and that people should be free of their miseries and become happy, such was my intent.
I had seen the good qualities of this community. I agreed to visit him. He told me that he had only one room and was concerned where I would sit. I told him, I will sit anywhere, all I need is a chair and if there is no chair, I will do without it. But I will definitely come to your home. It is your wish, so I will come. So I went. I had a construction business, and consequently I would have to visit a Muslim house often. I would also drink tea at their home. I do not hold any differences.
(106)
He had only one large room; the other room was as small as a toilet. I asked him about the rooms, he said, 'Sir,
