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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
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what can I do? This is more than enough for us poor people'. I asked him where his wife slept. He said, 'in this same room. You can call this a bedroom, a dinning room, this room is everything'. So I asked, *Ahmedmiya, don't you ever fight with your wife?' He was amazed, 'what are you saying! That never happens. I am not a foolish man'. 'You must have a little discord?' I inquired. 'Not with my wife'. He replied. I went on What if your wife gets angry sometimes?' He said, I say to her Beloved, outside that boss harasses me, and if you harass me here, what will become of me?' So then she calms down.
So I told him: Since there is no discord, there is no problem'. He replied 'what happens if there was discord? Where would she sleep and where would I sleep? If this home had three levels then I know I can go away to the third floor. But here, we both have to sleep in the same room. She faces one wall and I face the other wall, what fun is there in that? The whole night we would not be able to sleep, and where else would I go? So I do not make my wife unhappy at all, even if she were to beat me up. I fight with everyone outside the home, but not with the wife. You cannot do anything to the wife. If I get angry, I go and fight outside but not at home.'
If Salia's wife (a Muslim family) asks him to buy meat, Salia would be in a dilemma. His wages are very low, how can the poor guy buy any meat? The wife has been telling him for over a month that their poor children keep thinking about mutton. Then one day when the wife gets irritated, he says I will get some today. He always has ready answers; otherwise if he does not give an answer, she will nag him. So he immediately gives her a positive answer. I will bring it today, I will bring it from wherever I have to and that way he
prevented a discord. The wife thinks that he will bring it today and I will cook it, but when she sees him come home empty handed, she will start yelling. Now Salia is a very shrewd man, so he is able to pacify her, 'Dear heart, only I know my problems, you would not understand'. He will utter a few such sentences in a manner that will turn his wife around and she will tell him not to worry and get it some other time. After fifteen days or so, the same scenario starts again, he will plead his condition to her and the wife will be happy with that. He will never fight
Whereas Hindu men will say that you are trying to control me? You cannot say such a thing to your wife; these words themselves show you that you are under control. You are being controlled. How can she control you? When even at the time of marriage, your hand is on top of hers, then how can she control you? If she ever controls you some time, then just be calm. Only the weak get irritated.
(107) In Aurangabad, city in India there was a Muslim doctor's son. He must have heard from someone that Dada's spiritual satsang was worth listening to. He was about 25 years old. I talked about satsang, and this world. I talked scientifically. He liked the scientific approach and felt that it was worth listening to. Until now whatever that has been written, is the description of what has gone on during that time. As the times changes, the description changes. What does a Paigambar mean? A Paigambar is the one, who brings God's paigaam (message) and makes it available for everyone. So I made fun of him. I asked him if he was married or just dating? He said he was married. When? you didn't invite me?' Ijoked. Dadaji, I didn't know you, or I would have invited you the same day. I have been married only 6 months now. I was just making
